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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-14 20:08:27 -0700 |
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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-14 20:08:27 -0700 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/37651-0.txt b/37651-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ff7e5ef --- /dev/null +++ b/37651-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1780 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 37651 *** + +THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA + +or + +POSITIVISM ON AN ISLAND + +BY + +W.H. MALLOCK + +AUTHOR OF 'THE NEW REPUBLIC' ETC. + + +LONDON + +CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY + +1890 + + + + +_'Pessimism as to the essential dignity of man is one of the surest +marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a celestial glory.'_ + + Mr Frederic Harrison + + + + +'Those who can read the signs of the times read in them +that the kingdom of man is at hand'--Professor CLIFFORD + +Thou art smitten, o God, thou art smitten; thy curse is + upon thee, O Lord! +And the love song of earth as thou diest, resounds through + the wind of its wings, +Glory to man in the highest, for man is the master of + things + _Songs before Sunrise_ + + + + +CONTENTS. + + Chapter I. + Chapter II. + Chapter III. + Chapter IV. + Chapter V. + Chapter VI. + Chapter VII. + Chapter VIII. + Chapter IX. + Chapter X. + Chapter XI. + Chapter XII. + Chapter XIII. + Chapter XIV. + Chapter XV. + Chapter XVI. + Chapter XVII. + Chapter XVIII. + + Notes + + + +_THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA._ + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +The magnificent ocean-steamer the _Australasian_ was bound for England, +on her homeward voyage from Melbourne, carrying Her Majesty's mails and +ninety-eight first-class passengers. Never did vessel start under +happier auspices. The skies were cloudless; the sea was smooth as glass. +There was not a sound of sickness to be heard anywhere; and when +dinner-time came there was not a single absentee nor an appetite +wanting. + +But the passengers soon discovered they were lucky in more than weather. +Dinner was hardly half over before two of the company had begun to +attract general attention; and every one all round the table was +wondering, in whispers, who they could possibly be. + +One of the objects of this delightful curiosity was a large-boned, +middle-aged man, with gleaming spectacles, and lank, untidy hair; whose +coat fitted him so ill, and who held his head so high, that one saw at a +glance he was some great celebrity. The other was a beautiful lady of +about thirty years of age, the like of whom nobody present had ever seen +before. She had the fairest hair and the darkest eyebrows, the largest +eyes and the smallest waist conceivable; art and nature had been plainly +struggling as to which should do the most for her; whilst her bearing +was so haughty and distinguished, her glance so tender, and her dress so +expensive and so fascinating, that she seemed at the same time to defy +and to court attention. + +Evening fell on the ship with a soft warm witchery. The air grew purple, +and the waves began to glitter in the moonlight. The passengers gathered +in knots upon the deck, and the distinguished strangers were still the +subject of conjecture. At last the secret was discovered by the wife of +an old colonial judge; and the news spread like wildfire. In a few +minutes all knew that there were on board the _Australasian_ no less +personages than Professor Paul Darnley and the superb Virginia St. +John. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +Miss St. John had, for at least six years, been the most renowned woman +in Europe. In Paris and St. Petersburg, no less than in London, her name +was equally familiar both to princes and to pot-boys; indeed, the gaze +of all the world was fixed on her. Yet, in spite of this exposed +situation, scandal had proved powerless to wrong her; she defied +detraction. Her enemies could but echo her friends' praise of her +beauty; her friends could but confirm her enemies' description of her +character. Though of birth that might almost be called humble, she had +been connected with the heads of many distinguished families; and so +general was the affection she inspired, and so winning the ways in which +she contrived to retain it, that she found herself, at the age of +thirty, mistress of nothing except a large fortune. She was now +converted with surprising rapidity by a Ritualistic priest, and she +became in a few months a model of piety and devotion. She made lace +trimmings for the curate's vestments; she bowed at church as often and +profoundly as possible; she enjoyed nothing so much as going to +confession; she learnt to despise the world. Indeed, such utter dross +did her riches now seem to her, that, despite all the arguments of her +ghostly counsellor, she remained convinced that they were far too +worthless to offer to the Church, and she saw nothing for it but to +still keep them for herself. The mingled humility and discretion of this +resolve so won the heart of a gifted colonial bishop, then on a visit to +England, that, having first assured himself that Miss St. John was +sincere in making it, he besought her to share with him his humble +mitre, and make him the happiest prelate in the whole Catholic Church. +Miss St. John consented. The nuptials were celebrated with the most +elaborate ritual, and after a short honeymoon the bishop departed for +his South Pacific diocese of the Chasuble Islands, to prepare a home for +his bride, who was to follow him by the next steamer. + +Professor Paul Darnley, in his own walk of life, was even more famous +than Virginia had been in hers. He had written three volumes on the +origin of life, which he had spent seven years in looking for in +infusions of hay and cheese; he had written five volumes on the entozoa +of the pig, and two volumes of lectures, as a corollary to these, on the +sublimity of human heroism and the whole duty of man. He was renowned +all over Europe and America as a complete embodiment of enlightened +modern thought. He criticised everything; he took nothing on trust, +except the unspeakable sublimity of the human race and its august +terrestrial destinies. And, in his double capacity of a seer and a +_savant_, he had destroyed all that the world had believed in the past, +and revealed to it all that it is going to feel in the future. His mind +indeed was like a sea, into which the other great minds of the age +discharged themselves, and in which all the slight discrepancies of the +philosophy of the present century mingled together and formed one +harmonious whole. Nor was he less successful in his own private life. +He married, at the age of forty, an excellent evangelical lady, ten +years his senior, who wore a green gown, grey corkscrew curls, and who +had a fortune of two hundred thousand pounds. Deeply pledged though she +was to the most vapid figments of Christianity, Mrs. Darnley was yet +proud beyond measure of her husband's worldwide fame, for she did but +imperfectly understand the grounds of it. Indeed, the only thing that +marred her happiness was the single tenet of his that she had really +mastered. This, unluckily, was that he disbelieved in hell. And so, as +Mrs. Darnley conceived that that place was designed mainly to hold those +who doubted its existence, she daily talked her utmost and left no text +unturned to convince her darling of his very dangerous error. These +assiduous arguments soon began to tell. The Professor grew moody and +brooding, and he at last suggested to his medical man that a voyage +round the world, unaccompanied by his wife, was the prescription most +needed by his failing patience. Mrs. Darnley at length consented with a +fairly good grace. She made her husband pledge himself that he would not +be absent for above a twelvemonth, or else, she said, she should +immediately come after him. She bade him the tenderest of adieus, and +promised to pray till his return for his recovery of a faith in hell. + +The Professor, who had but exceeded his time by six months, was now on +board the _Australasian_, homeward bound to his wife. Virginia was +outward bound to her husband. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +The sensation created by the presence of these two celebrities was +profound beyond description; and the passengers were never weary of +watching the gleaming spectacles and the square-toed boots of the one, +and the liquid eyes and the ravishing toilettes of the other. Virginia's +acquaintance was made almost instantly by three pale-faced curates, and +so well did their friendship prosper, that they soon sang at nightfall +with her a beautiful vesper hymn. Nor did the matter end here, for the +strains sounded so lovely, and Virginia looked so devotional, that most +of the passengers the night after joined in a repetition of this +touching evening office. + +The Professor, as was natural, held quite aloof, and pondered over a new +species of bug, which he had found very plentiful in his berth. But it +soon occurred to him that he often heard the name of God being uttered +otherwise than in swearing. He listened more attentively to the sounds +which he had at first set down as negro-melodies, and he soon became +convinced that they were something whose very existence he despised +himself for remembering--namely, Christian hymns. He then thought of the +three curates, whose existence he despised himself for remembering also. +And the conviction rapidly dawned on him that, though the passengers +seemed fully alive to his fame as a man of science, they could yet know +very little of all that science had done for them; and of the death-blow +it had given to the foul superstitions of the past. He therefore +resolved that next day he would preach them a lay-sermon. + +At the appointed time the passengers gathered eagerly round him--all but +Virginia, who retired to her cabin when she saw that the preacher wore +no surplice, as she thought it would be a mortal sin to listen to a +sermon without one. + +The Professor began amidst a profound silence. He first proclaimed to +his hearers the great primary axiom on which all modern thought bases +itself. He told them that there was but one order of things--it was so +much neater than two; and if we would be certain of anything, we must +never doubt this. Thus, since countless things exist that the senses +_can_ take account of, it is evident that nothing exists that the senses +can _not_ take account of. The senses can take no account of God; +therefore God does not exist. Men of science can only see theology in a +ridiculous light, therefore theology has no side that is not ridiculous. +He then told them a few of the names that enlightened thinkers had +applied to the Christian deity--how Professor Tyndall had called him an +'atom-manufacturer,' and Professor Huxley a 'pedantic drill-sergeant'. +The passengers at once saw how demonstrably at variance with fact was +all religion, and they laughed with a sense of humour that was quite new +to them. The Professor's tones then became more solemn, and, having +extinguished error, he at once went on to unveil the brilliant light of +truth. He showed them how, viewed by modern science, all existence is a +chain, with a gas at one end and no one knows what at the other; and how +Humanity is a link somewhere; but--holy and awful thought!--we can none +of us tell where. 'However,' he proceeded, 'of one thing we can be quite +certain; all that is, is matter; the laws of matter are eternal, and we +cannot act or think without conforming to them; and if,' he said, 'we +would be solemn and high, and happy, and heroic, and saintly, we have +but to strive and struggle to do what we cannot for an instant avoid +doing. Yes,' he exclaimed, 'as the sublime Tyndall tells us, let us +struggle to attain to a deeper knowledge of matter, and a more faithful +conformity to its laws!' + +The Professor would have proceeded, but the weather had been rapidly +growing rough, and he here became violently sea-sick. + +'Let us,' he exclaimed hurriedly, 'conform to the laws of matter and go +below.' + +Nor was the advice premature. A storm arose, exceptional in its +suddenness and its fury. It raged for two days without ceasing. The +_Australasian_ sprang a leak; her steering gear was disabled; and it was +feared she would go ashore on an island that was seen dimly through the +fog to the leeward. The boats were got in readiness. A quantity of +provisions and of the passengers' baggage was already stowed in the +cutter; when the clouds parted, the sun came out again, and the storm +subsided almost as quickly as it rose. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +No sooner were the ship's damages in a fair way to be repaired than the +Professor resumed his sermon. He climbed into the cutter, which was +still full of the passengers' baggage, and sat down on the largest of +Virginia's boxes. This so alarmed Virginia that she incontinently +followed the Professor into the cutter, to keep an eye on her property; +but she did not forget to stop her ears with her fingers, that she +might not be guilty of listening to an unsurpliced minister. + +The Professor took up the thread of his discourse just where he had +broken it off. Every circumstance favoured him. The calm sea was +sparkling under the gentlest breeze; all Nature seemed suffused with +gladness; and at two miles' distance was an enchanting island, green +with every kind of foliage, and glowing with the hues of a thousand +flowers. The Professor, having reminded his hearers of what nonsense +they now thought all the Christian teachings, went on to show them the +blessed results of this. Since the God that we once called all-holy is +a fable, that Humanity is all-holy must be a fact. Since we shall never +be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy hereafter, it is evident +that we can be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy here. 'This,' +said the Professor, 'is the new Gospel. It is founded on exact thought. +It is the Gospel of the kingdom of man; and had I only here a microscope +and a few chemicals, I could demonstrate its eternal truth to you. There +is no heaven to seek for; there is no hell to shun. We have nothing to +strive and live for except to be unspeakably happy.' + +This eloquence was received with enthusiasm. The captain in particular, +who had a wife in every port he touched at, was overjoyed at hearing +that there was no hell; and he sent for all the crew, that they might +learn the good news likewise. But soon the general gladness was marred +by a sound of weeping. Three-fourths of the passengers, having had time +to reflect a little, began exclaiming that as a matter of fact they were +really completely miserable, and that for various reasons they could +never be anything else. 'My friends,' said the Professor, quite +undaunted, 'that is doubtless completely true. You are not happy now; +you probably never will be. But that, I can assure you, is of very +little moment. Only conform faithfully to the laws of matter, and your +children's children will be happy in the course of a few centuries; and +you will like that far, far better than being happy yourselves. Only +consider the matter in this light, and you yourselves will in an instant +become happy also; and whatever you say, and whatever you do, think only +of the effect it will have five hundred years afterwards.' + +At these solemn words, the anxious faces grew calm. An awful sense of +the responsibility of each one of us, and the infinite consequences of +every human act, was filling the hearts of all; when by a faithful +conformity to the laws of matter, the boiler blew up, and the +_Australasian_ went down. In an instant the air was rent with yells and +cries; and all the Humanity that was on board the vessel was busy, as +the Professor expressed it, uniting itself with the infinite azure of +the past. Paul and Virginia, however, floated quietly away in the +cutter, together with the baggage and provisions. + +Virginia was made almost senseless by the suddenness of the catastrophe; +and on seeing five sailors sink within three yards of her, she fainted +dead away. The Professor begged her not to take it so much to heart, as +these were the very men who had got the cutter in readiness; 'and they +are, therefore,' he said, 'still really alive in the fact of our happy +escape.' Virginia, however, being quite insensible, the Professor turned +to the last human being still to be seen above the waters, and shouted +to him not to be afraid of death, as there was certainly no hell, and +that his life, no matter how degraded and miserable, had been a glorious +mystery, full of infinite significance. The next moment the struggler +was snapped up by a shark. Our friends, meanwhile, borne by a current, +had been drifting rapidly towards the island. And the Professor, +spreading to the breeze Virginia's beautiful lace parasol, soon brought +the cutter to the shore on a beach of the softest sand. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +The scene that met Paul's eyes was one of extreme loveliness. He found +himself in a little fairy bay, full of translucent waters, and fringed +with silvery sands. On either side it was protected by fantastic rocks, +and in the middle it opened inland to an enchanting valley, where tall +tropical trees made a grateful shade, and where the ground was carpeted +with the softest moss and turf. + +Paul's first care was for his fair companion. He spread a costly +cashmere shawl on the beach, and placed her, still fainting, on this. In +a few moments she opened her eyes; but was on the point of fainting +again as the horrors of the last half-hour came back to her, when she +caught sight in the cutter of the largest of her own boxes, and she +began to recover herself. Paul begged her to remain quiet whilst he went +to reconnoitre. + +He had hardly proceeded twenty yards into the valley, when to his +infinite astonishment he came on a charming cottage, built under the +shadow of a bread-tree, with a broad verandah, plate-glass windows, and +red window-blinds. His first thought was that this could be no desert +island at all, but some happy European settlement. But, on approaching +the cottage, it proved to be quite untenanted, and from the cobwebs +woven across the doorway it seemed to have been long abandoned. Inside +there was abundance of luxurious furniture; the floors were covered with +gorgeous Indian carpets; and there was a pantry well stocked with plate +and glass and table-linen. The Professor could not tell what to make of +it, till, examining the structure more closely, he found it composed +mainly of a ship's timbers. This seemed to tell its own tale, and he at +once concluded that he and Virginia were not the first castaways who had +been forced to make the island for some time their dwelling-place. + +Overjoyed at this discovery, he hastened back to Virginia. She was by +this time apparently quite recovered, and was kneeling on the cashmere +shawl, with a rosary in her hands designed especially for the use of +Anglo-Catholics, alternately lifting up her eyes in gratitude to heaven, +and casting them down in anguish at her torn and crumpled dress. The +poor Professor was horrified at the sight of a human being in this +degrading attitude of superstition. But as Virginia quitted it with +alacrity as soon as ever he told his news to her, he hoped he might soon +convert her into a sublime and holy Utilitarian. + +The first thing she besought him to do was to carry her biggest box to +this charming cottage, that she might change her clothes, and appear in +something fit to be seen in. The Professor most obligingly at once did +as she asked him; and whilst she was busy at her toilette, he got from +the cutter what provisions he could, and proceeded to lay the table. +When all was ready, he rang a gong which he found suspended in the +lobby; Virginia appeared shortly in a beautiful pink dressing-gown, +embroidered with silver flowers; and just before sunset the two sat down +to a really excellent meal. The bread tree at the door of the cottage +contributed some beautiful French rolls; close at hand also they +discovered a butter-tree; and the Professor had produced from the cutter +a variety of salt and potted meats, _paté de foie gras_, cakes, +preserved fruits, and some bottles of fine champagne. This last helped +much to raise their spirits. Virginia found it very dry, and exactly +suited to her palate. She had but drunk five glasses of it, when her +natural smile returned to her, though she was much disappointed, +because Paul took no notice of her dressing-gown, and when she had drunk +three glasses more she quietly went to sleep on the sofa. + +The moon had by this time risen in dazzling splendour, and the Professor +went out and lighted a cigar. All during dinner there had been a feeling +of dull despair in his heart, which even the champagne did not +dissipate. But now, as he surveyed in the moonlight the wondrous +Paradise in which his strange fate had cast him, his mood changed. The +air was full of the scents of a thousand night-smelling flowers; the sea +murmured on the beach in soft, voluptuous cadences. The Professor's +cigar was excellent. He now saw his situation in a truer light. Here was +a bountiful island, where earth unbidden brought forth all her choicest +fruits, and most of the luxuries of civilisation had already been wafted +thither. Existence here seemed to be purified from all its evils. Was +not this the very condition of things which all the sublimest and +exactest thinkers of modern times had been dreaming and lecturing and +writing books about for a good half-century? Here was a place where +Humanity could do justice to itself, and realise those glorious +destinies which all exact thinkers take for granted must be in store for +it. True, from the mass of Humanity he was completely cut away; but +Virginia was his companion. Holiness, and solemnity, and unspeakably +significant happiness did not, he argued, depend on the multiplication +table. He and Virginia represented Humanity as well as a million +couples. They were a complete humanity in themselves, and humanity in a +perfectible shape; and the very next day they would make preparations +for fulfilling their holy destiny, and being as solemnly and unspeakably +happy as it was their stern duty to be. + +The Professor turned his eyes upwards to the starry heavens, and a sense +came over him of the eternity and the immensity of Nature, and the +demonstrable absence of any intelligence that guided, it. These +reflections naturally brought home to him with more vividness the +stupendous and boundless importance of Man. His bosom swelled violently, +and he cried aloud, his eyes still fixed on the firmament, 'Oh, +important All! oh, important Me!' + +When he came back to the cottage he found Virginia just getting off the +sofa, and preparing to go to bed. She was too sleepy even to say +good-night to him, and with evident want of temper was tugging at the +buttons of her dressing-gown. 'Ah!' she murmured as she left the room, +'if God, in His infinite mercy, had only spared my maid!' + +Virginia's evident discontent gave profound pain to Paul. 'How solemn,' +he exclaimed, 'for half Humanity to be discontented!' But he was still +more disturbed at the appeal to a chimerical manufacturer of atoms; and +he groaned in tones of yet more sonorous sorrow, 'How solemn for half +Humanity to be sunk lower than the beasts by superstition!' + +However, he hoped that these stupendous evils might, under the present +favourable conditions, vanish in the course of a few days' progress; and +he went to bed, full of august auguries. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +Next morning he was up betimes; and the prospects of Humanity looked +more glorious than ever. He gathered some of the finest pats from the +butter-tree, and some fresh French rolls from the bread-tree. He +discovered a cow close at hand, that allowed him at once to milk it; and +a little roast pig ran up to him out of the underwood, and fawning on +him with its trotters, said, 'Come, eat me.' + +The Professor vivisected it before Virginia's door, that its automatic +noise, which the vulgar call cries of pain, might awaken her; and he +then set it in a hot dish on the table. + +'It has come! it has come!' he shouted, rapturously, as Virginia entered +the room, this time in a blue silk dressing-gown, embroidered with +flowers of gold. + +'What has come?' said Virginia, pettishly, for she was suffering from a +terrible headache, and the Professor's loud voice annoyed her. 'You +don't mean to say that we are rescued, are we?' + +'Yes,' answered Paul, solemnly; 'we are rescued. We are rescued from all +the pains and imperfections of a world that has not learnt how to +conform to the laws of matter, and is but imperfectly acquainted with +the science of sociology. It is therefore inevitable that, the evils of +existence being thus removed, we shall both be solemnly, stupendously, +and unspeakably happy.' + +'Nonsense!' said Virginia, snappishly, who thought the Professor was +joking. + +'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor, 'It is deducible from the +teachings of John Stuart Mill, of Auguste Comte, of Mr. Frederic +Harrison, and of all the exact thinkers who have cast off superstition, +and who adore Humanity.' + +Virginia meanwhile ate _paté de foie gras_, of which she was +passionately fond; and, growing a little less sullen, she at last +admitted that they were lucky in having at least the necessaries of life +left to them. 'But as for happiness--there is nothing to do here, there +is no church to go to, and you don't seem to care a bit for my +dressing-gown. What have we got to make us happy?' + +'Humanity,' replied the Professor eagerly,--'Humanity, that divine +entity, which is necessarily capable of everything that is fine and +invaluable, and is the object of indescribable emotion to all exact +thinkers. And what is Humanity?' he went on more earnestly; 'you and I +are Humanity--you and I are that august existence. You already are all +the world to me; and I very soon shall be all the world to you. Adored +being, it will be my mission and my glory to compel you to live for me. +And then, as modern philosophy can demonstrate, we shall both of us be +significantly and unspeakably happy.' + +For a few moments Virginia merely stared at Paul. Suddenly she turned +quite pale, her lips quivered, and exclaiming, 'How dare you!--and I, +too, the wife of a bishop!' she left the room in hysterics. + +The Professor could make nothing of this. Though he had dissected many +dead women, he knew very little of the hearts of live ones. A sense of +shyness overpowered him, and he felt embarrassed, he could not tell +why, at being thus left alone with Virginia. He lit a cigar and went +out. Here was a to-do indeed, he thought. How would progress be possible +if one half of Humanity misunderstood the other? + +He was thus musing, when suddenly a voice startled him; and in another +moment a man came rushing up to him, with every demonstration of joy. + +'Oh, my dear master! oh, emancipator of the human intellect! and is it +indeed you? Thank God!----I beg pardon for my unspeakable blasphemy--I +mean, thank circumstances over which I have no control.' + +It was one of the three curates, whom Paul had supposed drowned, but who +now related how he had managed to swim ashore, despite the extreme +length of his black clerical coat. 'These rags of superstition,' he +said, 'did their best to drown me. But I survive in spite of them, to +covet truth and to reject error. Thanks to your glorious teaching,' he +went on, looking reverentially into the Professor's face, 'the very +notion of an Almighty Father makes me laugh consumedly, it is so absurd +and so immoral. Science, through your instrumentality, has opened my +eyes. I am now an exact thinker.' + +'Do you believe, said Paul, 'in solemn, significant, and unspeakably +happy Humanity? + +'I do,' said the curate, fervently. 'Whenever I think of Humanity, I +groan and moan to myself out of sheer solemnity.' + +'Then two thirds of Humanity,' said the Professor, 'are thoroughly +enlightened. Progress will now go on smoothly.' + +At this moment Virginia came out, having rapidly recovered composure at +the sound of a new man's voice. + +'You here--you, too!' exclaimed the curate. 'How solemn, how +significant! This is truly Providential----I mean this has truly +happened through conformity to the laws of matter.' + +'Well,' said Virginia, 'since we have a clergyman amongst us, we shall +perhaps be able to get on.' + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +Things now took a better turn. The Professor ceased to feel shy; and +proposed, when the curate had finished an enormous breakfast, that they +should go down to the cutter, and bring up the things in it to the +cottage. 'A few hours' steady progress,' he said, 'and the human race +will command all the luxuries of civilisation--the glorious fruits of +centuries of onward labour.' + +The three spent a very busy morning in examining and unpacking the +luggage. The Professor found his favourite collection of modern +philosophers; Virginia found a large box of knick-knacks, with which to +adorn the cottage; and there was, too, an immense store of wine and of +choice provisions. + +'It is rather sad,' sighed Virginia, as she dived into a box of French +chocolate-creams, 'to think that all the poor people are drowned that +these things belonged to.' + +'They are not dead,' said the Professor: 'they still live on this holy +and stupendous earth. They live in the use we are making of all they had +got together. The owner of those chocolate-creams is immortal because +you are eating them.' + +Virginia licked her lips and said, 'Nonsense!' + +'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor. 'It is the religion of +Humanity.' + +All day they were busy, and the time passed pleasantly enough. Wines, +provisions, books, and china ornaments were carried up to the cottage +and bestowed in proper places. Virginia filled the glasses in the +drawing-room with gorgeous leaves and flowers and declared by the +evening, as she looked round her, that she could almost fancy herself in +St. John's Wood. + +'See, said the Professor, 'how rapid is the progress of material +civilisation! Humanity is now entering on the fruits of ages. Before +long it will be in a position to be unspeakably happy.' + +Virginia retired to bed early. The Professor took the curate out with +him to look at the stars; and promised to lend him some writings of the +modern philosophers, which would make him more perfect in the new view +of things. They said good-night, murmuring together that there was +certainly no God, that Humanity was very important, and that everything +was very solemn. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +Next morning the curate began studying a number of essays that the +Professor lent him, all written by exact thinkers, who disbelieved in +God, and thought Humanity adorable, and most important. Virginia lay on +the sofa, and sighed over one of Miss Broughton's novels; and it +occurred to the Professor that the island was just the place where, if +anywhere, the missing link might be found. + +'Ah!' he exclaimed; 'all is still progress. Material progress came to an +end yesterday. Mental progress has begun to-day. One third of Humanity +is cultivating sentiment; another third is learning to covet truth. I, +the remaining and most enlightened third, will go and seek it. Glorious, +solemn Humanity! I will go and look about for its arboreal ancestor.' + +Every step the Professor took he found the island more beautiful. But he +came back to luncheon, having been unsuccessful in his search. Events +had marched quickly in his absence. Virginia was at the beginning of her +third volume; and the curate had skimmed over so many essays, that he +professed himself able to give a thorough account of the want of faith +that was in him. + +After luncheon the three sat together in easy chairs, in the verandah, +sometimes talking, sometimes falling into a half-doze. They all agreed +that they were wonderfully comfortable, and the Professor said-- + +'All Humanity is now at rest, and in utter peace. It is just taking +breath, before it becomes unspeakably and significantly happy.' + +He would have said more, but he was here startled by a piteous noise of +crying, and the three found themselves confronted by an old woman +dripping with sea-water, and with an expression on her face of the +utmost misery. They soon recognised her as one of the passengers on the +ship. She told them how she had been floated ashore on a spar, and how +she had been sustained by a little roast pig, that kindly begged her to +eat it, having first lain in her bosom to restore her to warmth. She was +now looking for her son. + +'And if I cannot find him,' said the old woman, 'I shall never smile +again. He has half broken my heart,' she went on, 'by his wicked ways. +But if I thought he was dead--dead in the midst of his sins--it would be +broken altogether; for in that case he must certainly be in hell.' + +'Old woman,' said the Professor, very slowly and solemnly, 'be +comforted. I announce to you that your son is alive.' + +'Oh, bless you, sir, for that word!' cried the old woman. 'But where is +he? Have you seen him? Are you sure that he is living?' + +'I am sure of it,' said the Professor, 'because enlightened thought +shows me that he cannot be anything else. It is true that I saw him sink +for a third time in the sea, and that he was then snapped up by a shark. +But he is as much alive as ever in his posthumous activities. He has +made you wretched after him; and that is his future life. Become an +exact thinker, and you will see that this is so. Old woman,' added the +Professor solemnly, 'old woman, listen to me--_You and your son are in +hell._' + +At this the old woman flew into a terrible rage. + +'In hell, sir!' she exclaimed; 'me in hell!--a poor lone woman like me! +How dare you!' And she sank back in a chair and fainted. + +'Alas!' said the Professor, 'thus is misery again introduced into the +world. A fourth part of Humanity is now miserable.' + +The curate answered promptly that if no restoratives were given her, +she would probably die in a few minutes. 'And to let her die,' he said, +'is clearly our solemn duty. It will be for the greatest happiness of +the greatest number.' + +'No,' said the Professor; 'for our sense of pity would then be wounded, +and the happiness of all of us would be marred by that.' + +'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'but exact thought shows me that pity for +others is but the imagining of their misfortune falling on ourselves. +Now, we can none of us imagine ourselves exactly in the old woman's +case; therefore it is quite impossible that we can pity her.' + +'But,' said the Professor, 'such an act would violate our ideas of +justice.' + +'You are wrong again,' said the curate, 'for exact thought shows me that +the love of justice is nothing but the fear of suffering injustice. If +we were to kill strong men, we might naturally fear that strong men +would kill us. But whatever we do to fainting old women, we cannot +expect that fainting old women will do anything to us in return.' + +'Your reasoning cannot be sound,' said the Professor, 'for it would lead +to the most horrible conclusions. I will solve the difficulty better. I +will make the old woman happy, and therefore fit to live. Old woman,' he +exclaimed, 'let me beg you to consider this. You are yourself by your +own unhappiness expiating your son's sins. Do but think of that, and you +will become unspeakably happy.' + +Meanwhile, however, the old woman had died. When the Professor +discovered this he was somewhat shocked; but at length with a sudden +change of countenance, 'We neither of us did it,' he exclaimed; 'her +death is no act of ours. It is part of the eternal not-ourselves that +makes for righteousness--righteousness, which is, as we all know, but +another name for happiness. Let us adore the event with reverence.' + +'Yes,' said the curate, 'we are well rid of her. She was an immoral old +woman, for happiness is the test of morality, and she was very unhappy.' + +'On the contrary,' said the Professor, 'she was a moral old woman; for +she has made us happy by dying so very opportunely. Let us speak well of +the dead. Her death has been a holy and a blessed one. She has conformed +to the laws of matter. Thus is unhappiness destined to fade out of the +world. Quick! let us tie a bag of shot to all the sorrow and evil of +Humanity, which, after all, is only a fourth part of it, and let us sink +her in the bay close at hand, that she may catch lobsters for us.' + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +At last,' said the Professor, as they began dinner that evening, 'the +fulness of time has come. All the evils of Humanity are removed, and +progress has come to an end because it can go no further. We have +nothing now to do but to be unspeakably and significantly happy.' + +The champagne flowed freely. Our friends ate and drank of the best, +their spirits rose, and Virginia admitted that this was really 'jolly.' +The sense of the word pleased the Professor, but its sound seemed below +the gravity of the occasion; so he begged her to say 'sublime' instead. +'We can make it mean,' he said, 'just the same, but we prefer it for the +sake of its associations.' + +It soon, however, occurred to him that eating and drinking were hardly +delights sufficient to justify the highest state of human emotion, and +he began to fear he had been feeling sublime prematurely; but in another +moment he recollected he was an altruist, and that the secret of their +happiness was not that any one of them was happy, but that they each +knew the others were. + +'Yes, my dear curate,' said the Professor, 'what I am enjoying is the +champagne that you drink, and what you are enjoying is the champagne +that I drink. This is altruism; this is benevolence; this is the sublime +outcome of enlightened modern thought. The pleasures of the table, in +themselves, are low and beastly ones; but if we each of us are only glad +because the others are enjoying them, they become holy and glorious +beyond description.' + +'They do,' cried the curate rapturously, 'indeed they do. I will drink +another bottle for your sake. It is sublime!' he said, as he tossed off +three glasses. 'It is significant!' he said as he finished three more. +'Tell me, my dear, do I look significant?' he added, as he turned to +Virginia, and suddenly tried, to crown the general bliss by kissing her. + +Virginia started back, looking fire and fury at him. The Professor was +completely astounded by an occurrence so unnatural, and exclaimed in a +voice of thunder, 'Morality, sir--remember morality! How dare you upset +that which Professor Huxley tells us must be for ever strong enough to +hold its own?' + +But the last glass of champagne had put the curate beyond the reach of +exact thought. He tumbled under the table, and the Professor carried him +off to bed. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +The Professor, like most serious thinkers, knew but little of that +trifle commonly called 'the world.' He had never kissed any one except +his wife; even that he did as seldom as possible; and the curate lying +dead drunk was the first glimpse he had of what, _par excellence_, is +described as 'life.' But though the scene just recounted was thus a +terrible shock to him, in one way it gave him an unlooked-for comfort. +He had felt that even yet things were not quite as sublime as they +should be. He now saw the reason. 'Of course,' he said, 'existence +cannot be perfect so long as one third of Humanity makes a beast of +itself. A little more progress must be still necessary.' + +He hastened to explain this next morning to Virginia, and begged her not +to be alarmed at the curate's scandalous conduct. 'Immorality,' he said, +'is but a want of success in attaining our own happiness. It is +evidently most immoral for the curate to be kissing you; and therefore +kissing you would not really conduce to his happiness. I will convince +him of this solemn truth in a very few moments. Then the essential +dignity of human nature will become at once apparent, and we shall all +of us at last begin to be unspeakably happy.' + +The curate, however, altogether declined to be convinced. He maintained +stoutly that to kiss Virginia would be the greatest pleasure that +Humanity could offer him. 'And if it is immoral as well as pleasant,' he +added, 'I should like it all the better.' + +At this the Professor gave a terrible groan; he dropped almost fainting +into a chair; he hid his face in his hands; and murmured +half-articulately, 'Then I can't tell what to do!' In another instant, +however, he recovered himself; and fixing a dreadful look on the +curate, 'That last statement of yours,' he said, 'cannot be true; for if +it were, it would upset all my theories. It is a fact that can be proved +and verified, that if you kissed Virginia it would make you miserable.' + +'Pardon me,' said the curate, rapidly moving towards her, 'your notion +is a remnant of superstition; I will explode it by a practical +experiment.' + +The Professor caught hold of the curate's coat-tails, and forcibly +pulled him back into his seat. + +'If you dare attempt it,' he said, 'I will kick you soundly, and, +shocking, immoral man! you will feel miserable enough then.' + +The curate was a terrible coward, and very weak as well. 'You are a +great hulking fellow,' he said, eyeing the Professor; 'and I am of a +singularly delicate build. I must, therefore, conform to the laws of +matter, and give in.' He said this in a very sulky voice; and, going out +of the room, slammed the door after him. + +A radiant expression suffused the face of the Professor. 'See,' he said +to Virginia, 'the curate's conversion is already half accomplished. In a +few hours more he will be rational, he will be moral, he will be +solemnly and significantly happy.' + +The Professor talked like this to Virginia the whole morning; but in +spite of all his arguments, she declined to be comforted. 'It is all +very well,' she said, 'whilst you are in the way. But as soon as your +back is turned, I know he will be at me again.' + +'Will you never,' said Paul, by this time a little irritated, 'will you +never listen to exact thought? The curate is now reflecting; and a +little reflection must inevitably convince him that he does not really +care to kiss you, and that it would give him very little real pleasure +to do so.' + +'Stuff!' exclaimed Virginia, with a sudden vigour at which the Professor +was thunderstruck. 'I can tell you,' she went on, 'that better men than +he have borne kicks for my sake; and to kiss me is the only thing that +that little man cares about.--What _shall_ I do?' she exclaimed, +bursting into tears. 'Here is one of you insulting me by trying to kiss +me; and the other insulting me by saying that I am not worth being +kissed!' + +'Ah, me!' groaned the poor Professor in an agony, 'here is one third of +Humanity plunged in sorrow; and another third has not yet freed itself +from vice. When, when, I wonder, will the sublimity begin?' + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +At dinner, however, things wore a more promising aspect. The curate had +been so terrified by the Professor's threats, that he hardly dared to so +much as look at Virginia; and to make up for it, he drank and drank +champagne, till the strings of his tongue were loosed, and he was +laughing and chattering at a rate that was quite extraordinary. +Virginia, seeing herself thus neglected by the curate, began to fear +that, as Paul said, he really did not so much care to kiss her after +all. She, therefore, put on all her most enticing ways; she talked, +flirted, and smiled her best, and made her most effective eyes, that the +curate might see what a prize was for ever beyond his reach. + +This state of affairs seemed full of glorious promise. Virginia's tears +were dried, she had never looked so radiant and exquisite before. The +curate had foregone every attempt to kiss Virginia, and yet apparently +he was happiness itself; and Paul took him aside, as soon as the meal +was over, to congratulate him on the holy state to which exact thought +had conducted him. 'You see,' Paul said, 'what a natural growth the +loftiest morality is. Virginia doesn't want to be kissed by you. I +should be shocked at your doing so shocking a thing as kissing her. If +you kissed her, you would make both of us miserable; and, as a necessary +consequence, you would be in an agony likewise; in addition to which, I +should inevitably kick you.' + +'But,' said the curate, 'suppose I kissed Virginia on the sly,--I merely +put this as an hypothesis, remember,--and that in a little while she +liked it, what then? She and I would both be happy, and you ought to be +happy too, because we were.' + +'Idiot!' said the Professor. 'Virginia is another man's wife. Nobody +really likes kissing another man's wife; nor do wives ever like kissing +any one except their husbands. What they really like is what Professor +Huxley calls "the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good," +which, as he says, exact thought shows us is the true end of existence. +But, pooh! what is the use of all this talking? You know which way your +higher nature calls you; and, of course, unless men believe in God, they +cannot help obeying their higher nature.' + +'I,' said the curate, 'think the belief in God a degrading superstition; +I think every one an imbecile who believes a miracle possible. And yet +I do not care two straws about the highest good. What you call my lower +nature is far the strongest; I mean to follow it to the best of my +ability; and I prefer calling it my higher, for the sake of the +associations.' + +This plunged the Professor in deeper grief than ever. He knew not what +to do. He paced up and down the verandah, or about the rooms, and moaned +and groaned as if he had a violent toothache. Virginia and the curate +asked what was amiss with him. 'I am agonising,' he said, 'for the sake +of holy, solemn, unspeakably dignified Humanity.' + +The curate, seeing the Professor thus dejected, by degrees took heart +again, and as Virginia still continued her fascinating behaviour to him, +he resolved to try and prove to her that, the test of morality being +happiness, the most moral thing she could do would be to allow him to +kiss her. No sooner had he begun to propound these views, than the +Professor gave over his groaning, seized the curate by the collar, and +dragged him out of the room with a roughness that nearly throttled him. + +'I was but propounding a theory--an opinion,' gasped the curate. 'Surely +thought is free. You will not persecute me for my opinions?' + +'It is not for your opinions,' said the Professor, 'but for the +horrible effect they might have. Opinions,' he roared, 'can only be +tolerated which have no possible consequences. You may promulgate any of +those as much as you like; because to do that would be a self-regarding +action.' + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +'Well,' said the curate, 'if I may not kiss Virginia, I will drink +brandy instead. That will make me happy enough; and then we shall all be +radiant.' + +He soon put his resolve into practice. He got a bottle of brandy, he sat +himself down under a palm-tree, and told the Professor he was going to +make an afternoon of it. + +'Foolish man!' said the Professor; 'I was never drunk myself, it is +true; but I know that to get drunk makes one's head ache horribly. To +get drunk is, therefore, horribly immoral; and therefore I cannot permit +it.' + +'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'it is a self-regarding action. Nobody's +head will ache but mine; so that is my own look-out. I have been +expelled from school, from college, and from my first curacy for +drinking. So I know well enough the balance of pains and pleasures.' + +Here he pulled out his brandy bottle, and applied his lips to it. + +'Oh, Humanity!' he exclaimed, 'how solemn this brandy tastes!' + +Matters went on like this for several days. The curate was too much +frightened to again approach Virginia. Virginia at last became convinced +that he did not care about kissing her. Her vanity was wounded, and she +became sullen; and this made the Professor sullen also. In fact, two +thirds of Humanity were overcast with gloom. The only happy section of +it was the curate, who alternately smoked and drank all day long. + +'The nasty little beast!' said Virginia to the Professor, 'he is nearly +always drunk. I am beginning quite to like you, Paul, by comparison +with him. Let us turn him out, and not let him live in the cottage.' + +'No,' said the Professor; 'for he is one third of Humanity. You do not +properly appreciate the solidarity of mankind. His existence, however, I +admit is a great difficulty.' + +One day at dinner-time, shortly afterwards, Paul came in radiant. + +'Oh holy, oh happy event!' he exclaimed; 'all will go right at last.' + +Virginia inquired anxiously what had happened, and Paul informed her +that the curate, who had got more drunk than usual that afternoon, had +fallen over a cliff, and been dashed to pieces. + +'What event,' he asked, 'could be more charming more unspeakably holy? +It bears about it every mark of sanctity. It is for the greatest +happiness of the greatest number. Come,' he continued, 'let you and me +together, purged of sin, and purged of sorrow as we are--let us begin +our love-feast. Let us each seek the happiness of the other. Let us +instantly be sublime and happy.' + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +'The supreme moment is come,' said Paul solemnly, as they sat down to +dinner. 'Let us prepare ourselves for realising to the full the +essential dignity of Humanity--that _grand être_, which has come, in the +course of progress, to consist of you and me. Virginia, consider this. +Every condition of happiness that modern thinkers have dreamed of is now +fulfilled. We have but to seek each the happiness of the other, and we +shall both be in a solemn, a significant, and unspeakable state of +rapture. See, here is an exquisite leg of mutton. I,' said Paul, who +liked the fat best, 'I will give up all the fat to you.' + +'And I,' said Virginia, resignedly, 'will give up all the lean to you,' + +A few mouthfuls made Virginia feel sick. 'I confess,' said she, 'I can't +get on with this fat.' + +'I confess,' the Professor answered, 'I don't exactly like this lean.' + +'Then let us,' said Virginia, 'be like Jack Sprat and his wife.' + +'No,' said the Professor, meditatively, 'that is quite inadmissible. For +in that case we should be egoistic hedonists. However, for to-day it +shall be as you say. I will think of something better to-morrow.' + +Next day he and Virginia had a chicken apiece; only Virginia's was put +before Paul, and Paul's before Virginia; and they each walked round the +table to supply each other with the slightest necessaries. + +'Ah!' cried Paul, 'this is altruism indeed. I think already I can feel +the sublimity beginning.' + +Virginia liked this rather better. But soon she committed the sin of +taking for herself the liver of Paul's chicken. As soon as she had eaten +the whole of it her conscience began to smite her. She confessed her +sin to Paul, and inquired, with some anxiety, if he thought she would go +to hell for it? 'Metaphorically,' said Paul, 'you have already done so. +You are punished by the loss of the pleasure you would have had in +giving that liver to me, and also by your knowledge of my knowledge of +your folly in foregoing the pleasure.' + +Virginia was much relieved by this answer; she at once took several more +of the Professor's choicest bits, and was happy in the thought that her +sins were expiated in the very act of their commission, by the latent +pain she felt persuaded they were attended by. Feeling that this was +sufficient, she took care not to add Paul's disapproval to her +punishment, so she never told him again. + +For a short time this practice of altruism seemed to Virginia to have +many advantages. But though the Professor was always exclaiming, 'How +significant is human life by the very nature of its constitution!' she +very soon found it a trifle dull. Luckily, however, she hit upon a new +method of exercising morality, and, as the Professor fully admitted, of +giving it a yet more solemn significance. + +The Professor having by some accident lost his razors, his moustaches +had begun to grow profusely, and Virginia had watched them with a deep +but half-conscious admiration. At last, in a happy moment, she +exclaimed, 'Oh, Paul, do let me wax the ends for you,' Paul at first +giggled, blushed, and protested, but, as Virginia assured him it would +make her happy, he consented. 'Then,' she said, 'you will know that I am +happy, and that in return will make you happy also. Ah!' she exclaimed +when the operation was over, 'do go and examine yourself in the glass. I +declare you look exactly like Jack Barley--Barley-Sugar, as we used to +call him--of the Blues.' + +Virginia smiled; suddenly she blushed; the Professor blushed also. To +cover the blushes she begged to be allowed to do his hair. 'It will make +me so much happier, Paul,' she said. The Professor again assented, that +he might make Virginia happy, and that she might be happy in knowing +that he was happy in promoting her happiness. At last the Professor, shy +and awkward as he was, was emboldened to offer to do Virginia's hair in +return. She allowed him to arrange her fringe, and, as she found he did +no great harm to it, she let him repeat the operation as often as he +liked. + +A week thus passed, full, as the Professor said, of infinite solemnity. +'I admit, Paul,' sighed Virginia, 'that this altruism, as you call it, +is very touching. I like it very much. But,' she added, sinking her +voice to a whisper, 'are you quite sure, Paul, that it is perfectly +moral?' + +'Moral!' echoed the Professor, 'moral! Why, exact thought shows us that +it is the very essence of all morality!' + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +Matters now went on charmingly. All existence seemed to take a richer +colouring, and there was something, Paul said, which, in Professor +Tyndall's words, 'gave fulness and tone to it, but which he could +neither analyse nor comprehend.' But at last a change came. One morning, +whilst Virginia was arranging Paul's moustaches, she was frightened +almost into a fit by a sudden apparition at the window. It was a +hideous hairy figure, perfectly naked but for a band of silver which it +wore about its neck. For a moment it did nothing but grin and stare; +then, uttering a discordant scream, it flung into Virginia's lap a +filthy piece of carrion, and in an instant it had bounded away with an +almost miraculous activity. + +Virginia shrieked with disgust and terror, and clung to Paul's knees for +protection. He, however, in some strange way, seemed unmoved and +preoccupied. All at once, to her intense surprise, she saw his face +light up with an expression of triumphant eagerness. 'The missing link!' +he exclaimed, 'the missing link at last! Thank God.--I beg pardon for +my unspeakable blasphemy--I mean, thank circumstances over which I have +no control. I must this instant go out and hunt for it. Give me some +provisions in a knapsack, for I will not come back till I have caught +it.' + +This was a fearful blow to Virginia. She fell at Paul's feet weeping, +and besought him in piteous accents that he would not thus abandon her. + +'I must,' said the Professor solemnly, 'for I am going in pursuit of +Truth. To arrive at Truth is man's perfect and most rapturous happiness. +You must surely know that, even if I have forgotten to tell it to you. +To pursue truth--holy truth for holy truth's sake--is a more solemn +pleasure than even frizzling your hair.' + +'Oh,' cried. Virginia, hysterically, 'I don't care two straws for truth. +What on earth is the good of it?' + +'It is its own end,' said the Professor. 'It is its own exceeding great +reward. I must be off at once in search of it. Good-bye for the present. +Seek truth on your own account, and be unspeakably happy also, because +you know that I am seeking it.' + +The Professor remained away for three days. For the first two of them +Virginia was inconsolable. She wandered about mournfully with her head +dejected. She very often sighed; she very often uttered the name of +Paul. At last she surprised herself by exclaiming aloud to the +irresponsive solitude, 'Oh, Paul, until you were gone, I never knew how +passionately I loved you.' No sooner were these words out of her mouth +than she stood still, horror-stricken. 'Alas!' she cried, 'and have I +really come to this? I am in a state of deadly sin, and there is no +priest here to confess to! Alone, alone I must conquer my forbidden love +as I may. But, ah me, what a guilty thing I am!' + +As she uttered these words, her eyes fell on a tin box of the +Professor's, marked 'Private,' which he always kept carefully locked, +and which had before now excited her curiosity. Suddenly she became +conscious of a new impulse. 'I will pursue truth!' she exclaimed. 'I +will break that box open, and I will see what is inside it. Ah!' she +added, as with the aid of the poker she at last wrenched off the +padlock. 'Paul may be right, after all. There is more interest in the +pursuit of truth than I thought there was.' + +The box was full of papers, letters, and diaries, the greater part of +which were marked 'Strictly private.' Seeing this, Virginia's appetite +for truth became keener than ever. She instantly began her researches. +The more she read, the more eager she became; and the more private +appeared the nature of the documents, the more insatiable did her +thirst for truth grow. To her extreme surprise, she gathered that the +Professor had begun life as a clergyman. There were several photographs +of him in his surplice; and a number of devout prayers, apparently +composed by himself for his own personal use. This discovery was the +result of her labours. + +'Certainly,' she said, 'it is one of extreme significance. If Paul was a +priest once, he must be a priest now. Orders are indelible--at least in +the Church of England I know they are.' + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +Paul came back, to Virginia's extreme relief, without the missing link. +But he was still radiant in spite of his failure; for he had discovered, +he said, a place where the creature had apparently slept, and he had +collected in a card-paper box a large number of its parasites. + +'I am glad,' said Virginia, 'that you have not found the missing link: +though as to thinking that we really came from monkeys, of course that +is too absurd. Now if you could have brought me a nice monkey, I should +really have liked that. The Bishop has promised that I shall have a +darling one, if I ever reach him--ah me!--if----Paul,' continued +Virginia, in a very solemn voice, after a long pause, 'do you know that +whilst you have been away I have been pursuing truth? I rather liked it; +and I found it very, very significant.' + +'Oh, joy!' exclaimed the Professor. 'Oh, unspeakable radiance! Oh, holy, +oh essentially dignified Humanity! it will very soon be perfect! Tell +me, Virginia, what truths have you been discovering?' + +'One truth about you, Paul,' said Virginia, very gravely, 'and one +truth about me. I burn--oh, I burn to tell them to you!' + +The Professor was enraptured to hear that one half of Humanity had been +thus studying human nature; and he began asking Virginia if her +discoveries belonged to the domain of historical or biological science. +Meanwhile Virginia had flung herself on her knees before him, and was +exclaiming, in piteous accents-- + +'By my fault, by my own fault, by my very grievous fault, holy father, I +confess to you----' + +'Is the woman mad?' cried the Professor, starting up from his seat. + +'You are a priest, Paul,' said Virginia; 'that is one of the things I +have discovered. I am in a state of deadly sin; that is the other: and I +must and will confess to you. Once a priest, always a priest. You cannot +get rid of your orders, and you must and shall hear me.' + +'I was once in orders, it is true,' said Paul, reluctantly; 'but how did +you find out my miserable secret?' + +'In my zeal for truth,' said Virginia, 'I broke open your tin box; I +read all your letters; I looked at your early photographs; I saw all +your beautiful prayers.' + +'You broke open my box!' cried the Professor. 'You read my letters and +my private papers! Oh, horrible! oh, immoral! What shall we do if one +half of Humanity has no feeling of honour?' + +'Oh!' said Virginia, 'it was all for the love of truth--of solemn and +holy truth. I sacrificed every other feeling for that. But I have not +told you my truth yet; and I am determined you shall hear it, or I must +still remain in my sins. Paul, I am a married woman; and I discover, in +spite of that, that I have fallen in love with you. My husband, it is +true, is far away; and whatever we do, he could never possibly be the +wiser. But I am in a state of mortal sin, nevertheless; and I would +give anything in the world if you would only kiss me.' + +'Woman!' exclaimed Paul, aghast with fright and horror, 'do you dare to +abuse truth, by turning it to such base purposes?' + +'Oh, you are so clever,' Virginia went on, 'and when the ends of your +moustaches are waxed, you look positively handsome; and I love you so +deeply and so tenderly, that I shall certainly go to hell if you do not +give me absolution.' + +At this the Professor jumped up, and, staring very hard at Virginia, +asked her if, after all that he had said on the ship, she really +believed in such exploded fallacies as hell, God, and priestcraft. + +She reminded him that he had preached there without a surplice, and that +she had therefore not thought it right to listen to a word he said. + +'Ah!' cried the Professor, with a sigh of intense relief, 'I see it all +now. How can Humanity ever be unspeakably holy so long as one half of it +grovels in dreams of an unspeakably holy God? As Mr. Frederic Harrison +truly says, a want of faith in "the essential dignity of man is one of +the surest marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a +celestial glory."' The Professor accordingly re-delivered to Virginia +the entire substance of his lectures in the ship. He fully impressed on +her that all the intellect of the world was on the side of Humanity; and +that God's existence could be disproved with a box of chemicals. He was +agreeably surprised at finding her not at all unwilling to be convinced, +and extremely unexacting in her demands for proof. In a few days she had +not a remnant of superstition left. 'At last!' exclaimed the Professor; +'it has come at last. Unspeakable happiness will surely begin now.' + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + +No one now could possibly be more emancipated than Virginia. She +tittered all day long and whenever the Professor asked her why, she +always told him she was thinking of 'an intelligent First Cause,' a +conception which she said 'was really quite killing.' But when her first +burst of intellectual excitement was over, she became more serious. 'All +thought, Paul,' she said, 'is valuable mainly because it leads to +action. Come, my love, my dove, my beauty, and let us kiss each other +all daylong. Let us enjoy the charming license which exact thought shows +us we shall never be punished for.' + +This was a result of freedom that the Professor had never bargained for. +He could not understand it, 'because,' he argued, 'if people were to +reason in that way, morality would at once cease to be possible.' But he +had seen so much of the world lately, that he soon recovered himself, +and recollecting that immorality was only ignorance, he began to show +Virginia where her error lay---her one remaining error. 'I perceive,' he +said, 'that you are ignorant of one of the greatest triumphs of exact +thought--the distinction it has established between the lower and the +higher pleasures. Philosophers, who have thought the whole thing over in +their studies, have become sure that as soon as the latter are presented +to men they will at once leave all and follow them.' + +'They must be very nice pleasures,' said Virginia, 'if they would make +me leave kissing you for the sake of them.' + +'They _are_ nice,' said the Professor. 'They are the pleasures of the +imagination, the intellect, and the glorious apprehension of truth. +Compared with these, kissing me would be quite insipid. Remain here for +a moment, whilst I go to fetch something, and you shall then begin to +taste them.' + +In a few moments Paul came back again, and found Virginia in a state of +intense expectancy. + +'Now--,' he exclaimed triumphantly. + +'Now--,' exclaimed Virginia, with a beating heart. + +The Professor put his hand in his pocket, and drew slowly forth from it +an object which Virginia knew well. It reminded her of the most innocent +period of her life; but she hated the very sight of it none the less. It +was a Colenso's Arithmetic. + +'Come,' said the Professor, 'no truths are so pure and necessary as +those of mathematics; you shall at once begin the glorious apprehension +of them.' + +'Oh, Paul,' cried Virginia, in an agony, 'but I really don't care for +truth at all; and you know that when I broke your tin box open and read +your private letters in my search for it, you were very angry with me.' + +'Ah!' said Paul, holding up his finger, 'but those were not necessary +truths. Truths about human action and character are not necessary +truths; therefore men of science care nothing about them, and they have +no place in scientific systems of ethics. Pure truths are of a very +different character; and, however much you may misunderstand your own +inclinations, you can really care for nothing so much as doing a few +sums. I will set you some very easy ones to begin with, and you shall do +them by yourself, whilst I magnify in the next room the parasites of the +missing link.' + +Virginia saw that there was no help for it. She did her sums by herself +the whole morning, which, as at school she had been very good at +arithmetic, was not a hard task for her, and Paul magnified parasites in +the next room, and prepared slides for his microscope. + +When they met again, Paul began skipping and dancing, as if he had gone +quite out of his senses, and every now and then between the skips he +gave a sepulchral groan. Virginia asked him in astonishment what on +earth was the matter with him. + +'Matter!' he exclaimed. 'Why, Humanity is at last perfect! All the evils +of existence are removed; we neither of us believe in a God or a +celestial future; and we are both in full enjoyment of the higher +pleasures and the apprehension of scientific truth. And therefore I skip +because Humanity is so unspeakably happy, and I groan because it is so +unspeakably solemn.' + +'Alas! alas!' cried Virginia, 'and would not you like to kiss me?' + +'No,' said the Professor, sternly; 'and you would not like me to kiss +you. It is impossible that one half of Humanity should prefer the +pleasure of unlawful love to the pleasure of finding out scientific +truths.' + +'But,' pleaded Virginia, 'cannot we enjoy both?' + +'No,' said the Professor, 'for if I began to kiss you I should soon not +care two straws about the parasites of the missing link.' + +'Well, said Virginia, 'it is nice of you to say that; but still----Ah +me! Ah me!' + +And her bosom heaved slowly with a soft, long sigh. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + +Virginia was preparing, with a rueful face, to resume her enjoyment of +the higher pleasures, when a horrible smell, like that of an open drain, +was suddenly blown in through the window. + +Virginia stopped her nose with her handkerchief. The Professor's conduct +was very different. + +'Oh, rapture!' he cried, jumping up from his seat, 'I smell the missing +link.' And in another instant he was gone. + +'Well,' said Virginia, 'here is one comfort. Whilst Paul is away I shall +be relieved from the higher pleasures. Alas!' she cried, as she flung +herself down on the sofa, 'he is so nice-looking, and such an +enlightened thinker. But it is plain he has never loved, or else very +certainly he would love again.' + +Paul returned in about a couple of hours, again unsuccessful in his +search. + +'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'I am so glad you have not caught the creature!' + +'Glad!' echoed the Professor, 'glad! Do you know that till I have caught +the missing link the cause of glorious truth will suffer grievously? +The missing link is the token of the solemn fact of our origin from +inorganic matter. I did but catch one blessed glimpse of him. He had +certainly a silver band about his neck. He was about three feet high. He +was rolling in a lump of carrion. It is through him that we are related +to the stars--the holy, the glorious stars, about which we know so +little.' + +'Bother the stars!' said Virginia; 'I couldn't bear, Paul, that anything +should come between you and me. I have been thinking of you and longing +for you the whole time you have been away.' + +'What!' cried Paul, 'and how have you been able to forego the pleasures +of the intellect?' + +'I have deserted them,' cried Virginia, 'for the pleasures of the +imagination, which I gathered from you were also very ennobling. And I +found they were so; for I have been imagining that you loved me. Why is +the reality less ennobling than the imagination? Paul, you shall love +me; I will force you to love me. It will make us both so happy: we shall +never go to hell for it; and it cannot possibly cause the slightest +scandal.' + +The Professor was more bewildered than ever by these appeals. He +wondered how Humanity would ever get on if one half of it cared nothing +for pure truth, and persisted in following the vulgar impulses that had +been the most distinguishing feature of its benighted past--that is to +say, those ages of its existence of which any record has been preserved +for us. Luckily, however, Virginia came to his assistance. + +'I think I know, Paul,' she said, 'why I do not care as I should do for +the intellectual pleasures. We have both been seeking them by ourselves; +and we have been therefore egoistic hedonists. It is quite true, as you +say, that selfishness is a despicable thing. Let me,' she went on, +sitting down beside him, 'look through your microscope along with you. +I think perhaps, if we shared the pleasure, the missing link's parasites +might have some interest for me.' + +The Professor was overjoyed at this proposal. The two sat down side by +side, and tried their best to look simultaneously through the eye-piece +of the microscope. Virginia in a moment expressed herself much +satisfied. It is true they saw nothing; but their cheeks touched. The +Professor too seemed contented, and said they should both be in a state +of rapture when they had got the right focus. At last Virginia +whispered, with a soft smile-- + +'Suppose we put that nasty microscope aside; it is only in the way. And +then, oh, Paul; dear love, dove of a Paul! we can kiss each other to our +heart's content.' + +Paul thought Virginia quite incorrigible, and rushed headlong out of the +room. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +'Alas!' cried Paul, 'what can be done to convince one half of Humanity +that it is really devoted to the higher pleasures and does not care for +the lower--at least nothing to speak of?' The poor man was in a state of +dreadful perplexity, and felt wellnigh distracted. At last a light broke +in on him. He remembered that as one of his most revered masters, +Professor Tyndall, had admitted, a great part of Humanity would always +need a religion, and that Virginia now had none. He at once rushed back +to her. 'Ah!' he exclaimed, 'all is explained now. You cannot be in love +with me, for that would be unlawful passion. Unlawful passion is +unreasonable, and unreasonable passion would quite upset a system of +pure reason, which is what exact thought shows us is soon going to +govern the world. No! the emotions that you fancy are directed to me are +in reality cosmic emotion--in other words, are the reasonable religion +of the future. I must now initiate you in its solemn and unspeakably +significant worship.' + +'Religion!' exclaimed Virginia, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. +'It is not kind of you to be making fun of me. There is no God, no soul, +and no supernatural order, and above all there is no hell. How then can +you talk to me about religion?' + +'You,' replied Paul, 'are associating religion with theology, as indeed +the world hitherto always has done. But those two things, as Professor +Huxley well observes, have absolutely nothing to do with each other. "It +may be," says that great teacher, "that the object of a man's religion +is an ideal of sensual enjoyment, or----"' + +'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'that is my religion, Paul.' + +'Nonsense!' replied Paul; 'that cannot be the religion of half Humanity, +else high, holy, solemn, awful morality would never be able to stand on +its own basis. See, the night has fallen, the glorious moon has arisen, +the stupendous stars are sparkling in the firmament. Come down with me +to the sea-shore, where we may be face to face with nature, and I will +show you then what true religion--what true worship is.' + +The two went out together. They stood on the smooth sands, which +glittered white and silvery in the dazzling moonlight All was hushed. +The gentle murmur of the trees, and the soft splash of the sea, seemed +only to make the silence audible. The Professor paused close beside +Virginia, and took her hand. Virginia liked that, and thought that +religion without theology was not perhaps so bad after all. Meanwhile +Paul had fixed his eyes on the moon. Then, in a voice almost broken with +emotion, he whispered, 'The prayer of the man of science, it has been +said, must be for the most part of the silent sort. He who said that was +wrong. It need not be silent; it need only be inarticulate. I have +discovered an audible and a reasonable liturgy which will give utterance +to the full to the religion of exact thought. Let us both join our +voices, and let us croon at the moon.' + +The Professor at once began a long, low howling. Virginia joined him, +until she was out of breath. + +'Oh, Paul,' she said at last, 'is this more rational than the Lord's +Prayer?' + +'Yes,' said the Professor, 'for we can analyse and comprehend that; but +true religious feeling, as Professor Tyndall tells us, we can neither +analyse nor comprehend. See how big nature is, and how little--ah, how +little!--we know about it. Is it not solemn, and sublime, and awful? +Come let us howl again.' + +The Professor's devotional fervour grew every moment. At last he put his +hand to his mouth, and began hooting like an owl, till it seemed that +all the island echoed to him. The louder Paul hooted and howled, the +more near did he draw to Virginia. + +'Ah!' he said, as he put his arm about her waist, 'it is in solemn +moments like this that the solidarity of mankind becomes apparent.' + +Virginia, during the last few moments, had stuck her fingers in her +ears. She now took them out, and, throwing her arms round Paul's neck, +tried, with her cheek on his shoulder, to make another little hoot; but +the sound her lips formed was much more like a kiss. The power of +religion was at last too much for Paul. + +'For the sake of cosmic emotion,' he exclaimed, 'O other half of +Humanity, and for the sake of rational religion, both of which are +showing themselves under quite a new light to me, I will kiss you.' + +The Professor was bending down his face over her, when, as if by magic, +he started, stopped, and remained as one petrified. Amidst the sharp +silence, there rang a human shout from the rocks. + +'Oh!' shrieked Virginia, falling on her knees, 'it is a miracle! it is a +miracle! And I know--merciful heavens--I know the meaning of it. God is +angry with us for pretending that we do not believe on Him.' + +The Professor was as white as a sheet; but he struggled with his +perturbation manfully. + +'It is not a miracle,' he cried, 'but an hallucination. It is an axiom +with exact thinkers that all proofs of the miraculous are +hallucinations.' + +'See,' shrieked Virginia again, 'they are coming, they are coming. Do +not you see them?' + +Paul looked, and there sure enough, were two figures, a male and a +female, advancing slowly towards them, across the moonlit sand. + +'It is nothing,' cried Paul; 'it cannot possibly be anything. I protest, +in the name of science, that it is an optical delusion.' + +Suddenly the female figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is he!' + +In another moment the male figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is she!' + +'My husband!' gasped Virginia. + +'My wife!' replied the bishop, for it was none other than he. 'Welcome +to Chasuble Island. By the blessing of God it is on your own home you +have been wrecked, and you have been living in the very house that I had +intended to prepare for you. Providentially, too, Professor Darnley's +wife has called here, in her search for her husband, who has overstayed +his time. See, my love, my dove, my beauty, here is the monkey I +promised you as a pet, which broke loose a few days ago, and which I was +in the act of looking for when your joint cries attracted us, and we +found you.' + +A yell of delight here broke from the Professor. The eyes of the others +were turned on him, and he was seen embracing wildly a monkey which the +bishop led by a chain. 'The missing link! he exclaimed, 'the missing +link!' + +'Nonsense!' cried the sharp tones of a lady with a green gown and grey +corkscrew curls. 'It is nothing but a monkey that the good bishop has +been trying to tame for his wife. Don't you see her name engraved on +the collar?' + +The shrill accents acted like a charm upon Paul. He sprang away from the +creature that he had been just caressing. He gazed for a moment on +Virginia's lovely form, her exquisite toilette, and her melting eyes. +Then he turned wildly to the green gown and the grey corkscrew curls. +Sorrow and superstition, he felt, were again invading Humanity. 'Alas!' +he exclaimed at last, 'I do now indeed believe in hell.' + +'And I,' cried Virginia, with much greater tact, and rushing into the +arms of her bishop, 'once more believe in heaven.' + + + + +NOTES. + + +'We now find it (_the earth_) not only swathed by an atmosphere, and +covered by a sea, but also crowded with living things. The question is, +how were they introduced?... The conclusion of science would undoubtedly +be, that the molten earth contained within it elements of life, which +grouped themselves into their present forms as the planet cooled. The +difficulty and reluctance encountered by this conception arise _solely_ +from the fact that the theologic conception obtained a prior footing in +the human mind.... Were not man's origin implicated, we should accept +without a murmur the derivation of animal and vegetable life from what +we call inorganic nature. The conclusion of pure intellect points this +way, and no other.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'Is this egg (_from which the human being springs_) matter? I hold it to +be so, as much as the seed of a fern or of an oak. Nine months go to +the making of it into a man. Are the additions made during this period +of gestation drawn from matter? I think so, undoubtedly. If there be +anything besides matter in the egg, or in the infant subsequently +slumbering in the womb, what is it?' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'Matter I define as the mysterious thing by which all this is +accomplished.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'I do not think that the materialist is entitled to say that his +molecular groupings and motions explain everything. In reality, they +_explain_ nothing. PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'Who shall exaggerate the deadly influence on personal morality of those +theologies which have represented the Deity ... as a sort of pedantic +drill-sergeant of mankind, to whom no valour, no long-tried loyalty, +could atone for the misplacement of a button of the uniform, or the +misunderstanding of a paragraph of the "regulations and instructions"?' +PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'(_To the Jesuit imagination_) God is obviously a large individual, who +holds the leading-strings of the universe, and orders its steps from a +position outside it all.... According to it (_this notion_) the Power +whom Goethe does not dare to name, and whom Gassendi and Clark Maxwell +present to us under the guise of a manufacturer of atoms, turns out +annually, for England and Wales alone, a quarter of a million of new +souls. Taken in connection with the dictum of Mr. Carlyle, that this +annual increment to our population are "mostly fools," but little profit +to the human heart seems derivable from this mode of regarding the +divine operations.... In the presence of this mystery (_the mystery of +life_) the notion of an atomic manufacturer and artificer of souls, +raises the doubt whether those who entertain it were ever really +penetrated by the solemnity of the problem for which they offer such a +solution.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'I look forward, however, to a time when the strength, insight, and +elevation which now visit us in mere hints and glimpses, during moments +of clearness and vigour, shall be the stable and permanent possession +of purer and mightier minds than ours--purer and mightier, partly +because of their deeper knowledge of matter, and their more faithful +conformity to its laws.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'The world, as it is, is growing daily dimmer before my eyes. The world, +as it is to be, is ever growing brighter.' HARRIET MARTINEAU. + +'... When you and I, like streaks of morning cloud, shall have melted +into the infinite azure of the past.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'We, too, turn our thoughts to that which is behind the veil. We strive +to pierce its secret with eyes, we trust, as eager and as fearless, and +even, it may be, more patient in searching for realities behind the +gloom. That which shall come _after_ is no less solemn to us than to +you.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'Theological hypotheses of a new and heterogeneous existence have +deadened our interest in the realities, the grandeur, and the perpetuity +of an earthly life.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'As we read, the calm and humane words of Condorcet, on the very edge of +his yawning grave, we learn, from the conviction of posthumous activity +(not posthumous fame), how the consciousness of a living incorporation +with the glorious future of his race, can give a patience and happiness +equal to that of any martyr of theology.... Once make it (_i.e._ "this +sense of posthumous participation in the life of our fellows") the basis +of philosophy, the standard of right and wrong, and the centre of a +religion, and this (_the conversion of the masses_) will prove, perhaps, +an easier task than that of teaching Greeks and Romans, Syrians and +Moors, to look forward to a life of ceaseless psalmody in an immaterial +heaven.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'We make the future life, in the truest sense, social, inasmuch as our +future is simply an active existence prolonged by society; and our +future life rests not in any vague yearning, of which we have as little +evidence as we have definite conception: it rests on a perfectly certain +truth ... that the actions, feelings, thoughts, of each one of us, do +marvellously influence and mould each other.... Can we conceive a more +potent stimulus to rectitude, to daily and hourly striving after a true +life, than this ever-present sense that we are indeed immortal; not that +we have an immortal something within us--but that in very truth we +ourselves, our thinking, feeling, acting personalities, are immortal?' +MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'As we _live for others_ in life, so we _live in others_ after death.... +How deeply does such a belief as this bring home to each moment of life +the mysterious perpetuity of ourselves! For good, for evil, we cannot +die. We cannot shake ourselves free from this eternity of our +faculties.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'We cannot even say that we shall continue to love; but we know that we +shall be loved.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'It is only when an earthly future is the fulfilment of a worthy earthly +life, that we can see the majesty, as well as the glory, of the world +beyond the grave; and then only will it fulfil its moral and religious +purpose as the great guide of human conduct.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'I am confident that a brighter day is coming for future generations.' +HARRIET MARTINEAU. + +'The humblest life that ever turned a sod sends a wave--no, more than a +wave, a life--through the evergrowing harmony of human society.' MR. +FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'Not a single nature, in its entirety, but leaves its influence for good +or for evil. _As a fact, the good prevail_.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'To our friends and loved ones we shall give the most worthy honour and +tribute if we never say nor remember that they are dead, but, +contrariwise, that they have lived; that hereby the brotherly force and +flow of their action and work may be carried over the gulf of death, and +made immortal in the true and healthy life which they worthily had and +used.' PROFESSOR CLIFFORD. + +'It cannot be doubted that the "spiritual body" of this book (_The +Unseen Universe_) will be used to support a belief that the dead are +subject either to the _shame and suffering of a Christian Heaven_ and +Hell, or to the degrading service of a modern witch. From _each_ of +these _unspeakable profanities_ let us hope and endeavour that the +memories of great and worthy men may be finally relieved.' PROFESSOR +CLIFFORD. + +'I choose the noble part of Emerson, when, after various +disenchantments, he exclaimed, "I covet truth." The gladness of true +heroism visits the heart of him who is really competent to say this.' +PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'The highest, as it is the only, content is to be attained, not by +grovelling in the rank and steaming valleys of sense, but by continually +striving towards those high peaks, when, resting in eternal calm, reason +discerns the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good--"a cloud by +day, a pillar of fire by night."' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'If it can be shown by observation and experiment, that theft, murder, +and adultery, do not tend to diminish the happiness of society, then, in +the absence of any but natural knowledge, they are not social +immoralities.' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'For my own part, I do not for one moment admit that morality is not +strong enough to hold its own.' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'I object to the very general use of the terms religion and theology, as +if they were synonymous, or _indeed had anything whatever to do with one +another_.... Religion is an affair of the affections. It may be that the +object of a man's religion--the ideal which he worships--is an ideal of +sensual enjoyment.' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'In his hour of health ... when the pause of reflection has set in, the +scientific investigator finds himself overshadowed with the same awe. It +associates him with a power which gives fulness and tone to his +existence, but which he can neither analyse nor comprehend.' PROFESSOR +TYNDALL. + +'He will see what drivellers even men of strenuous intellects may +become,' though exclusively dwelling and dealing with theological +chimeras. PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'The two kinds of cosmic emotion run together and become one. The +microcosm is viewed only in relation to human action, nature is +presented to the emotions as the guide and teacher of humanity. And the +microcosm is viewed only as tending to complete correspondence with the +external; human conduct is subject for reverence only in so far as it is +consonant to the demiurgic law, in harmony with the teaching of divine +Nature.' PROFESSOR CLIFFORD. + +'The world will have religion of some kind, even though it should fly +for it to the intellectual whoredom of "spiritualism."' PROFESSOR +TYNDALL. + +'All positive methods of treating man, of a comprehensive kind, adopt to +the full all that has ever been said about the dignity of man's moral +and spiritual life.... I do not confine my language to the philosophy or +religion of Comte; for the same conception of man is common to many +philosophies and many religions.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The New Paul and Virginia, by W. H. Mallock + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 37651 *** diff --git a/37651-h/37651-h.htm b/37651-h/37651-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1cb388f --- /dev/null +++ b/37651-h/37651-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1857 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<!-- $Id: header.txt 236 2009-12-07 18:57:00Z vlsimpson $ --> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of The New Paul And Virginia, by W.H. Mallock. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; +} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + + + +.bb {border-bottom: solid 2px;} + +.bl {border-left: solid 2px;} + +.bt {border-top: solid 2px;} + +.br {border-right: solid 2px;} + +.bbox {border: solid 2px;} + +.center {text-align: center;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + +.u {text-decoration: underline;} + +.caption {font-weight: bold;} + +.quote {font-size: 0.8em;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 37651 ***</div> + +<h1>THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA</h1> + +<h3>or</h3> + +<h3>POSITIVISM ON AN ISLAND</h3> + +<h3>BY</h3> + +<h2>W.H. MALLOCK</h2> + +<h4>AUTHOR OF 'THE NEW REPUBLIC' ETC.</h4> + + +<h5>LONDON</h5> + +<h5>CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY</h5> + +<h5>1890</h5> + + +<p><a href="#CONTENTS">Contents</a></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><i>'Pessimism as to the essential dignity of man is one of the surest +marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a celestial glory.'</i></p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 24.5em;">Mr Frederic Harrison</span><br /> +</p> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p style="margin-left: 25%;"> +'Those who can read the signs of the times read in them<br /> +that the kingdom of man is at hand'—Professor <span class="quote">CLIFFORD</span><br /> +</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 25%;"> +Thou art smitten, o God, thou art smitten; thy curse is<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">upon thee, O Lord!</span><br /> +And the love song of earth as thou diest, resounds through<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">the wind of its wings,</span><br /> +Glory to man in the highest, for man is the master of<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">things</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;"><i>Songs before Sunrise</i></span><br /> +</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + + + +<h3><i>THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA.</i></h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I.</h3> + + +<p>The magnificent ocean-steamer the <i>Australasian</i> was bound for England, +on her homeward voyage from Melbourne, carrying Her Majesty's mails and +ninety-eight first-class passengers. Never did vessel start under +happier auspices. The skies were cloudless; the sea was smooth as glass. +There was not a sound of sickness to be heard anywhere; and when +dinner-time came there was not a single absentee nor an appetite +wanting.</p> + +<p>But the passengers soon discovered they were lucky in more than weather. +Dinner was hardly half over before two of the company had begun to +attract general attention; and every one all round the table was +wondering, in whispers, who they could possibly be.</p> + +<p>One of the objects of this delightful curiosity was a large-boned, +middle-aged man, with gleaming spectacles, and lank, untidy hair; whose +coat fitted him so ill, and who held his head so high, that one saw at a +glance he was some great celebrity. The other was a beautiful lady of +about thirty years of age, the like of whom nobody present had ever seen +before. She had the fairest hair and the darkest eyebrows, the largest +eyes and the smallest waist conceivable; art and nature had been plainly +struggling as to which should do the most for her; whilst her bearing +was so haughty and distinguished, her glance so tender, and her dress so +expensive and so fascinating, that she seemed at the same time to defy +and to court attention.</p> + +<p>Evening fell on the ship with a soft warm witchery. The air grew purple, +and the waves began to glitter in the moonlight. The passengers gathered +in knots upon the deck, and the distinguished strangers were still the +subject of conjecture. At last the secret was discovered by the wife of +an old colonial judge; and the news spread like wildfire. In a few +minutes all knew that there were on board the <i>Australasian</i> no less +personages than Professor Paul Darnley and the superb Virginia St. +John.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II.</h3> + + +<p>Miss St. John had, for at least six years, been the most renowned woman +in Europe. In Paris and St. Petersburg, no less than in London, her name +was equally familiar both to princes and to pot-boys; indeed, the gaze +of all the world was fixed on her. Yet, in spite of this exposed +situation, scandal had proved powerless to wrong her; she defied +detraction. Her enemies could but echo her friends' praise of her +beauty; her friends could but confirm her enemies' description of her +character. Though of birth that might almost be called humble, she had +been connected with the heads of many distinguished families; and so +general was the affection she inspired, and so winning the ways in which +she contrived to retain it, that she found herself, at the age of +thirty, mistress of nothing except a large fortune. She was now +converted with surprising rapidity by a Ritualistic priest, and she +became in a few months a model of piety and devotion. She made lace +trimmings for the curate's vestments; she bowed at church as often and +profoundly as possible; she enjoyed nothing so much as going to +confession; she learnt to despise the world. Indeed, such utter dross +did her riches now seem to her, that, despite all the arguments of her +ghostly counsellor, she remained convinced that they were far too +worthless to offer to the Church, and she saw nothing for it but to +still keep them for herself. The mingled humility and discretion of this +resolve so won the heart of a gifted colonial bishop, then on a visit to +England, that, having first assured himself that Miss St. John was +sincere in making it, he besought her to share with him his humble +mitre, and make him the happiest prelate in the whole Catholic Church. +Miss St. John consented. The nuptials were celebrated with the most +elaborate ritual, and after a short honeymoon the bishop departed for +his South Pacific diocese of the Chasuble Islands, to prepare a home for +his bride, who was to follow him by the next steamer.</p> + +<p>Professor Paul Darnley, in his own walk of life, was even more famous +than Virginia had been in hers. He had written three volumes on the +origin of life, which he had spent seven years in looking for in +infusions of hay and cheese; he had written five volumes on the entozoa +of the pig, and two volumes of lectures, as a corollary to these, on the +sublimity of human heroism and the whole duty of man. He was renowned +all over Europe and America as a complete embodiment of enlightened +modern thought. He criticised everything; he took nothing on trust, +except the unspeakable sublimity of the human race and its august +terrestrial destinies. And, in his double capacity of a seer and a +<i>savant</i>, he had destroyed all that the world had believed in the past, +and revealed to it all that it is going to feel in the future. His mind +indeed was like a sea, into which the other great minds of the age +discharged themselves, and in which all the slight discrepancies of the +philosophy of the present century mingled together and formed one +harmonious whole. Nor was he less successful in his own private life. +He married, at the age of forty, an excellent evangelical lady, ten +years his senior, who wore a green gown, grey corkscrew curls, and who +had a fortune of two hundred thousand pounds. Deeply pledged though she +was to the most vapid figments of Christianity, Mrs. Darnley was yet +proud beyond measure of her husband's worldwide fame, for she did but +imperfectly understand the grounds of it. Indeed, the only thing that +marred her happiness was the single tenet of his that she had really +mastered. This, unluckily, was that he disbelieved in hell. And so, as +Mrs. Darnley conceived that that place was designed mainly to hold those +who doubted its existence, she daily talked her utmost and left no text +unturned to convince her darling of his very dangerous error. These +assiduous arguments soon began to tell. The Professor grew moody and +brooding, and he at last suggested to his medical man that a voyage +round the world, unaccompanied by his wife, was the prescription most +needed by his failing patience. Mrs. Darnley at length consented with a +fairly good grace. She made her husband pledge himself that he would not +be absent for above a twelvemonth, or else, she said, she should +immediately come after him. She bade him the tenderest of adieus, and +promised to pray till his return for his recovery of a faith in hell.</p> + +<p>The Professor, who had but exceeded his time by six months, was now on +board the <i>Australasian</i>, homeward bound to his wife. Virginia was +outward bound to her husband.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III.</h3> + + +<p>The sensation created by the presence of these two celebrities was +profound beyond description; and the passengers were never weary of +watching the gleaming spectacles and the square-toed boots of the one, +and the liquid eyes and the ravishing toilettes of the other. Virginia's +acquaintance was made almost instantly by three pale-faced curates, and +so well did their friendship prosper, that they soon sang at nightfall +with her a beautiful vesper hymn. Nor did the matter end here, for the +strains sounded so lovely, and Virginia looked so devotional, that most +of the passengers the night after joined in a repetition of this +touching evening office.</p> + +<p>The Professor, as was natural, held quite aloof, and pondered over a new +species of bug, which he had found very plentiful in his berth. But it +soon occurred to him that he often heard the name of God being uttered +otherwise than in swearing. He listened more attentively to the sounds +which he had at first set down as negro-melodies, and he soon became +convinced that they were something whose very existence he despised +himself for remembering—namely, Christian hymns. He then thought of the +three curates, whose existence he despised himself for remembering also. +And the conviction rapidly dawned on him that, though the passengers +seemed fully alive to his fame as a man of science, they could yet know +very little of all that science had done for them; and of the death-blow +it had given to the foul superstitions of the past. He therefore +resolved that next day he would preach them a lay-sermon.</p> + +<p>At the appointed time the passengers gathered eagerly round him—all but +Virginia, who retired to her cabin when she saw that the preacher wore +no surplice, as she thought it would be a mortal sin to listen to a +sermon without one.</p> + +<p>The Professor began amidst a profound silence. He first proclaimed to +his hearers the great primary axiom on which all modern thought bases +itself. He told them that there was but one order of things—it was so +much neater than two; and if we would be certain of anything, we must +never doubt this. Thus, since countless things exist that the senses +<i>can</i> take account of, it is evident that nothing exists that the senses +can <i>not</i> take account of. The senses can take no account of God; +therefore God does not exist. Men of science can only see theology in a +ridiculous light, therefore theology has no side that is not ridiculous. +He then told them a few of the names that enlightened thinkers had +applied to the Christian deity—how Professor Tyndall had called him an +'atom-manufacturer,' and Professor Huxley a 'pedantic drill-sergeant'. +The passengers at once saw how demonstrably at variance with fact was +all religion, and they laughed with a sense of humour that was quite new +to them. The Professor's tones then became more solemn, and, having +extinguished error, he at once went on to unveil the brilliant light of +truth. He showed them how, viewed by modern science, all existence is a +chain, with a gas at one end and no one knows what at the other; and how +Humanity is a link somewhere; but—holy and awful thought!—we can none +of us tell where. 'However,' he proceeded, 'of one thing we can be quite +certain; all that is, is matter; the laws of matter are eternal, and we +cannot act or think without conforming to them; and if,' he said, 'we +would be solemn and high, and happy, and heroic, and saintly, we have +but to strive and struggle to do what we cannot for an instant avoid +doing. Yes,' he exclaimed, 'as the sublime Tyndall tells us, let us +struggle to attain to a deeper knowledge of matter, and a more faithful +conformity to its laws!'</p> + +<p>The Professor would have proceeded, but the weather had been rapidly +growing rough, and he here became violently sea-sick.</p> + +<p>'Let us,' he exclaimed hurriedly, 'conform to the laws of matter and go +below.'</p> + +<p>Nor was the advice premature. A storm arose, exceptional in its +suddenness and its fury. It raged for two days without ceasing. The +<i>Australasian</i> sprang a leak; her steering gear was disabled; and it was +feared she would go ashore on an island that was seen dimly through the +fog to the leeward. The boats were got in readiness. A quantity of +provisions and of the passengers' baggage was already stowed in the +cutter; when the clouds parted, the sun came out again, and the storm +subsided almost as quickly as it rose.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV.</h3> + + +<p>No sooner were the ship's damages in a fair way to be repaired than the +Professor resumed his sermon. He climbed into the cutter, which was +still full of the passengers' baggage, and sat down on the largest of +Virginia's boxes. This so alarmed Virginia that she incontinently +followed the Professor into the cutter, to keep an eye on her property; +but she did not forget to stop her ears with her fingers, that she +might not be guilty of listening to an unsurpliced minister.</p> + +<p>The Professor took up the thread of his discourse just where he had +broken it off. Every circumstance favoured him. The calm sea was +sparkling under the gentlest breeze; all Nature seemed suffused with +gladness; and at two miles' distance was an enchanting island, green +with every kind of foliage, and glowing with the hues of a thousand +flowers. The Professor, having reminded his hearers of what nonsense +they now thought all the Christian teachings, went on to show them the +blessed results of this. Since the God that we once called all-holy is +a fable, that Humanity is all-holy must be a fact. Since we shall never +be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy hereafter, it is evident +that we can be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy here. 'This,' +said the Professor, 'is the new Gospel. It is founded on exact thought. +It is the Gospel of the kingdom of man; and had I only here a microscope +and a few chemicals, I could demonstrate its eternal truth to you. There +is no heaven to seek for; there is no hell to shun. We have nothing to +strive and live for except to be unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>This eloquence was received with enthusiasm. The captain in particular, +who had a wife in every port he touched at, was overjoyed at hearing +that there was no hell; and he sent for all the crew, that they might +learn the good news likewise. But soon the general gladness was marred +by a sound of weeping. Three-fourths of the passengers, having had time +to reflect a little, began exclaiming that as a matter of fact they were +really completely miserable, and that for various reasons they could +never be anything else. 'My friends,' said the Professor, quite +undaunted, 'that is doubtless completely true. You are not happy now; +you probably never will be. But that, I can assure you, is of very +little moment. Only conform faithfully to the laws of matter, and your +children's children will be happy in the course of a few centuries; and +you will like that far, far better than being happy yourselves. Only +consider the matter in this light, and you yourselves will in an instant +become happy also; and whatever you say, and whatever you do, think only +of the effect it will have five hundred years afterwards.'</p> + +<p>At these solemn words, the anxious faces grew calm. An awful sense of +the responsibility of each one of us, and the infinite consequences of +every human act, was filling the hearts of all; when by a faithful +conformity to the laws of matter, the boiler blew up, and the +<i>Australasian</i> went down. In an instant the air was rent with yells and +cries; and all the Humanity that was on board the vessel was busy, as +the Professor expressed it, uniting itself with the infinite azure of +the past. Paul and Virginia, however, floated quietly away in the +cutter, together with the baggage and provisions.</p> + +<p>Virginia was made almost senseless by the suddenness of the catastrophe; +and on seeing five sailors sink within three yards of her, she fainted +dead away. The Professor begged her not to take it so much to heart, as +these were the very men who had got the cutter in readiness; 'and they +are, therefore,' he said, 'still really alive in the fact of our happy +escape.' Virginia, however, being quite insensible, the Professor turned +to the last human being still to be seen above the waters, and shouted +to him not to be afraid of death, as there was certainly no hell, and +that his life, no matter how degraded and miserable, had been a glorious +mystery, full of infinite significance. The next moment the struggler +was snapped up by a shark. Our friends, meanwhile, borne by a current, +had been drifting rapidly towards the island. And the Professor, +spreading to the breeze Virginia's beautiful lace parasol, soon brought +the cutter to the shore on a beach of the softest sand.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V.</h3> + + +<p>The scene that met Paul's eyes was one of extreme loveliness. He found +himself in a little fairy bay, full of translucent waters, and fringed +with silvery sands. On either side it was protected by fantastic rocks, +and in the middle it opened inland to an enchanting valley, where tall +tropical trees made a grateful shade, and where the ground was carpeted +with the softest moss and turf.</p> + +<p>Paul's first care was for his fair companion. He spread a costly +cashmere shawl on the beach, and placed her, still fainting, on this. In +a few moments she opened her eyes; but was on the point of fainting +again as the horrors of the last half-hour came back to her, when she +caught sight in the cutter of the largest of her own boxes, and she +began to recover herself. Paul begged her to remain quiet whilst he went +to reconnoitre.</p> + +<p>He had hardly proceeded twenty yards into the valley, when to his +infinite astonishment he came on a charming cottage, built under the +shadow of a bread-tree, with a broad verandah, plate-glass windows, and +red window-blinds. His first thought was that this could be no desert +island at all, but some happy European settlement. But, on approaching +the cottage, it proved to be quite untenanted, and from the cobwebs +woven across the doorway it seemed to have been long abandoned. Inside +there was abundance of luxurious furniture; the floors were covered with +gorgeous Indian carpets; and there was a pantry well stocked with plate +and glass and table-linen. The Professor could not tell what to make of +it, till, examining the structure more closely, he found it composed +mainly of a ship's timbers. This seemed to tell its own tale, and he at +once concluded that he and Virginia were not the first castaways who had +been forced to make the island for some time their dwelling-place.</p> + +<p>Overjoyed at this discovery, he hastened back to Virginia. She was by +this time apparently quite recovered, and was kneeling on the cashmere +shawl, with a rosary in her hands designed especially for the use of +Anglo-Catholics, alternately lifting up her eyes in gratitude to heaven, +and casting them down in anguish at her torn and crumpled dress. The +poor Professor was horrified at the sight of a human being in this +degrading attitude of superstition. But as Virginia quitted it with +alacrity as soon as ever he told his news to her, he hoped he might soon +convert her into a sublime and holy Utilitarian.</p> + +<p>The first thing she besought him to do was to carry her biggest box to +this charming cottage, that she might change her clothes, and appear in +something fit to be seen in. The Professor most obligingly at once did +as she asked him; and whilst she was busy at her toilette, he got from +the cutter what provisions he could, and proceeded to lay the table. +When all was ready, he rang a gong which he found suspended in the +lobby; Virginia appeared shortly in a beautiful pink dressing-gown, +embroidered with silver flowers; and just before sunset the two sat down +to a really excellent meal. The bread tree at the door of the cottage +contributed some beautiful French rolls; close at hand also they +discovered a butter-tree; and the Professor had produced from the cutter +a variety of salt and potted meats, <i>paté de foie gras</i>, cakes, +preserved fruits, and some bottles of fine champagne. This last helped +much to raise their spirits. Virginia found it very dry, and exactly +suited to her palate. She had but drunk five glasses of it, when her +natural smile returned to her, though she was much disappointed, +because Paul took no notice of her dressing-gown, and when she had drunk +three glasses more she quietly went to sleep on the sofa.</p> + +<p>The moon had by this time risen in dazzling splendour, and the Professor +went out and lighted a cigar. All during dinner there had been a feeling +of dull despair in his heart, which even the champagne did not +dissipate. But now, as he surveyed in the moonlight the wondrous +Paradise in which his strange fate had cast him, his mood changed. The +air was full of the scents of a thousand night-smelling flowers; the sea +murmured on the beach in soft, voluptuous cadences. The Professor's +cigar was excellent. He now saw his situation in a truer light. Here was +a bountiful island, where earth unbidden brought forth all her choicest +fruits, and most of the luxuries of civilisation had already been wafted +thither. Existence here seemed to be purified from all its evils. Was +not this the very condition of things which all the sublimest and +exactest thinkers of modern times had been dreaming and lecturing and +writing books about for a good half-century? Here was a place where +Humanity could do justice to itself, and realise those glorious +destinies which all exact thinkers take for granted must be in store for +it. True, from the mass of Humanity he was completely cut away; but +Virginia was his companion. Holiness, and solemnity, and unspeakably +significant happiness did not, he argued, depend on the multiplication +table. He and Virginia represented Humanity as well as a million +couples. They were a complete humanity in themselves, and humanity in a +perfectible shape; and the very next day they would make preparations +for fulfilling their holy destiny, and being as solemnly and unspeakably +happy as it was their stern duty to be.</p> + +<p>The Professor turned his eyes upwards to the starry heavens, and a sense +came over him of the eternity and the immensity of Nature, and the +demonstrable absence of any intelligence that guided, it. These +reflections naturally brought home to him with more vividness the +stupendous and boundless importance of Man. His bosom swelled violently, +and he cried aloud, his eyes still fixed on the firmament, 'Oh, +important All! oh, important Me!'</p> + +<p>When he came back to the cottage he found Virginia just getting off the +sofa, and preparing to go to bed. She was too sleepy even to say +good-night to him, and with evident want of temper was tugging at the +buttons of her dressing-gown. 'Ah!' she murmured as she left the room, +'if God, in His infinite mercy, had only spared my maid!'</p> + +<p>Virginia's evident discontent gave profound pain to Paul. 'How solemn,' +he exclaimed, 'for half Humanity to be discontented!' But he was still +more disturbed at the appeal to a chimerical manufacturer of atoms; and +he groaned in tones of yet more sonorous sorrow, 'How solemn for half +Humanity to be sunk lower than the beasts by superstition!'</p> + +<p>However, he hoped that these stupendous evils might, under the present +favourable conditions, vanish in the course of a few days' progress; and +he went to bed, full of august auguries.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI.</h3> + +<p>Next morning he was up betimes; and the prospects of Humanity looked +more glorious than ever. He gathered some of the finest pats from the +butter-tree, and some fresh French rolls from the bread-tree. He +discovered a cow close at hand, that allowed him at once to milk it; and +a little roast pig ran up to him out of the underwood, and fawning on +him with its trotters, said, 'Come, eat me.'</p> + +<p>The Professor vivisected it before Virginia's door, that its automatic +noise, which the vulgar call cries of pain, might awaken her; and he +then set it in a hot dish on the table.</p> + +<p>'It has come! it has come!' he shouted, rapturously, as Virginia entered +the room, this time in a blue silk dressing-gown, embroidered with +flowers of gold.</p> + +<p>'What has come?' said Virginia, pettishly, for she was suffering from a +terrible headache, and the Professor's loud voice annoyed her. 'You +don't mean to say that we are rescued, are we?'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' answered Paul, solemnly; 'we are rescued. We are rescued from all +the pains and imperfections of a world that has not learnt how to +conform to the laws of matter, and is but imperfectly acquainted with +the science of sociology. It is therefore inevitable that, the evils of +existence being thus removed, we shall both be solemnly, stupendously, +and unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>'Nonsense!' said Virginia, snappishly, who thought the Professor was +joking.</p> + +<p>'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor, 'It is deducible from the +teachings of John Stuart Mill, of Auguste Comte, of Mr. Frederic +Harrison, and of all the exact thinkers who have cast off superstition, +and who adore Humanity.'</p> + +<p>Virginia meanwhile ate <i>paté de foie gras</i>, of which she was +passionately fond; and, growing a little less sullen, she at last +admitted that they were lucky in having at least the necessaries of life +left to them. 'But as for happiness—there is nothing to do here, there +is no church to go to, and you don't seem to care a bit for my +dressing-gown. What have we got to make us happy?'</p> + +<p>'Humanity,' replied the Professor eagerly,—'Humanity, that divine +entity, which is necessarily capable of everything that is fine and +invaluable, and is the object of indescribable emotion to all exact +thinkers. And what is Humanity?' he went on more earnestly; 'you and I +are Humanity—you and I are that august existence. You already are all +the world to me; and I very soon shall be all the world to you. Adored +being, it will be my mission and my glory to compel you to live for me. +And then, as modern philosophy can demonstrate, we shall both of us be +significantly and unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>For a few moments Virginia merely stared at Paul. Suddenly she turned +quite pale, her lips quivered, and exclaiming, 'How dare you!—and I, +too, the wife of a bishop!' she left the room in hysterics.</p> + +<p>The Professor could make nothing of this. Though he had dissected many +dead women, he knew very little of the hearts of live ones. A sense of +shyness overpowered him, and he felt embarrassed, he could not tell +why, at being thus left alone with Virginia. He lit a cigar and went +out. Here was a to-do indeed, he thought. How would progress be possible +if one half of Humanity misunderstood the other?</p> + +<p>He was thus musing, when suddenly a voice startled him; and in another +moment a man came rushing up to him, with every demonstration of joy.</p> + +<p>'Oh, my dear master! oh, emancipator of the human intellect! and is it +indeed you? Thank God!—--I beg pardon for my unspeakable blasphemy—I +mean, thank circumstances over which I have no control.'</p> + +<p>It was one of the three curates, whom Paul had supposed drowned, but who +now related how he had managed to swim ashore, despite the extreme +length of his black clerical coat. 'These rags of superstition,' he +said, 'did their best to drown me. But I survive in spite of them, to +covet truth and to reject error. Thanks to your glorious teaching,' he +went on, looking reverentially into the Professor's face, 'the very +notion of an Almighty Father makes me laugh consumedly, it is so absurd +and so immoral. Science, through your instrumentality, has opened my +eyes. I am now an exact thinker.'</p> + +<p>'Do you believe, said Paul, 'in solemn, significant, and unspeakably +happy Humanity?</p> + +<p>'I do,' said the curate, fervently. 'Whenever I think of Humanity, I +groan and moan to myself out of sheer solemnity.'</p> + +<p>'Then two thirds of Humanity,' said the Professor, 'are thoroughly +enlightened. Progress will now go on smoothly.'</p> + +<p>At this moment Virginia came out, having rapidly recovered composure at +the sound of a new man's voice.</p> + +<p>'You here—you, too!' exclaimed the curate. 'How solemn, how +significant! This is truly Providential——I mean this has truly +happened through conformity to the laws of matter.'</p> + +<p>'Well,' said Virginia, 'since we have a clergyman amongst us, we shall +perhaps be able to get on.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII.</h3> + + +<p>Things now took a better turn. The Professor ceased to feel shy; and +proposed, when the curate had finished an enormous breakfast, that they +should go down to the cutter, and bring up the things in it to the +cottage. 'A few hours' steady progress,' he said, 'and the human race +will command all the luxuries of civilisation—the glorious fruits of +centuries of onward labour.'</p> + +<p>The three spent a very busy morning in examining and unpacking the +luggage. The Professor found his favourite collection of modern +philosophers; Virginia found a large box of knick-knacks, with which to +adorn the cottage; and there was, too, an immense store of wine and of +choice provisions.</p> + +<p>'It is rather sad,' sighed Virginia, as she dived into a box of French +chocolate-creams, 'to think that all the poor people are drowned that +these things belonged to.'</p> + +<p>'They are not dead,' said the Professor: 'they still live on this holy +and stupendous earth. They live in the use we are making of all they had +got together. The owner of those chocolate-creams is immortal because +you are eating them.'</p> + +<p>Virginia licked her lips and said, 'Nonsense!'</p> + +<p>'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor. 'It is the religion of +Humanity.'</p> + +<p>All day they were busy, and the time passed pleasantly enough. Wines, +provisions, books, and china ornaments were carried up to the cottage +and bestowed in proper places. Virginia filled the glasses in the +drawing-room with gorgeous leaves and flowers and declared by the +evening, as she looked round her, that she could almost fancy herself in +St. John's Wood.</p> + +<p>'See, said the Professor, 'how rapid is the progress of material +civilisation! Humanity is now entering on the fruits of ages. Before +long it will be in a position to be unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>Virginia retired to bed early. The Professor took the curate out with +him to look at the stars; and promised to lend him some writings of the +modern philosophers, which would make him more perfect in the new view +of things. They said good-night, murmuring together that there was +certainly no God, that Humanity was very important, and that everything +was very solemn.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII.</h3> + + +<p>Next morning the curate began studying a number of essays that the +Professor lent him, all written by exact thinkers, who disbelieved in +God, and thought Humanity adorable, and most important. Virginia lay on +the sofa, and sighed over one of Miss Broughton's novels; and it +occurred to the Professor that the island was just the place where, if +anywhere, the missing link might be found.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' he exclaimed; 'all is still progress. Material progress came to an +end yesterday. Mental progress has begun to-day. One third of Humanity +is cultivating sentiment; another third is learning to covet truth. I, +the remaining and most enlightened third, will go and seek it. Glorious, +solemn Humanity! I will go and look about for its arboreal ancestor.'</p> + +<p>Every step the Professor took he found the island more beautiful. But he +came back to luncheon, having been unsuccessful in his search. Events +had marched quickly in his absence. Virginia was at the beginning of her +third volume; and the curate had skimmed over so many essays, that he +professed himself able to give a thorough account of the want of faith +that was in him.</p> + +<p>After luncheon the three sat together in easy chairs, in the verandah, +sometimes talking, sometimes falling into a half-doze. They all agreed +that they were wonderfully comfortable, and the Professor said—</p> + +<p>'All Humanity is now at rest, and in utter peace. It is just taking +breath, before it becomes unspeakably and significantly happy.'</p> + +<p>He would have said more, but he was here startled by a piteous noise of +crying, and the three found themselves confronted by an old woman +dripping with sea-water, and with an expression on her face of the +utmost misery. They soon recognised her as one of the passengers on the +ship. She told them how she had been floated ashore on a spar, and how +she had been sustained by a little roast pig, that kindly begged her to +eat it, having first lain in her bosom to restore her to warmth. She was +now looking for her son.</p> + +<p>'And if I cannot find him,' said the old woman, 'I shall never smile +again. He has half broken my heart,' she went on, 'by his wicked ways. +But if I thought he was dead—dead in the midst of his sins—it would be +broken altogether; for in that case he must certainly be in hell.'</p> + +<p>'Old woman,' said the Professor, very slowly and solemnly, 'be +comforted. I announce to you that your son is alive.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, bless you, sir, for that word!' cried the old woman. 'But where is +he? Have you seen him? Are you sure that he is living?'</p> + +<p>'I am sure of it,' said the Professor, 'because enlightened thought +shows me that he cannot be anything else. It is true that I saw him sink +for a third time in the sea, and that he was then snapped up by a shark. +But he is as much alive as ever in his posthumous activities. He has +made you wretched after him; and that is his future life. Become an +exact thinker, and you will see that this is so. Old woman,' added the +Professor solemnly, 'old woman, listen to me—<i>You and your son are in +hell.</i>'</p> + +<p>At this the old woman flew into a terrible rage.</p> + +<p>'In hell, sir!' she exclaimed; 'me in hell!—a poor lone woman like me! +How dare you!' And she sank back in a chair and fainted.</p> + +<p>'Alas!' said the Professor, 'thus is misery again introduced into the +world. A fourth part of Humanity is now miserable.'</p> + +<p>The curate answered promptly that if no restoratives were given her, +she would probably die in a few minutes. 'And to let her die,' he said, +'is clearly our solemn duty. It will be for the greatest happiness of +the greatest number.'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor; 'for our sense of pity would then be wounded, +and the happiness of all of us would be marred by that.'</p> + +<p>'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'but exact thought shows me that pity for +others is but the imagining of their misfortune falling on ourselves. +Now, we can none of us imagine ourselves exactly in the old woman's +case; therefore it is quite impossible that we can pity her.'</p> + +<p>'But,' said the Professor, 'such an act would violate our ideas of +justice.'</p> + +<p>'You are wrong again,' said the curate, 'for exact thought shows me that +the love of justice is nothing but the fear of suffering injustice. If +we were to kill strong men, we might naturally fear that strong men +would kill us. But whatever we do to fainting old women, we cannot +expect that fainting old women will do anything to us in return.'</p> + +<p>'Your reasoning cannot be sound,' said the Professor, 'for it would lead +to the most horrible conclusions. I will solve the difficulty better. I +will make the old woman happy, and therefore fit to live. Old woman,' he +exclaimed, 'let me beg you to consider this. You are yourself by your +own unhappiness expiating your son's sins. Do but think of that, and you +will become unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, however, the old woman had died. When the Professor +discovered this he was somewhat shocked; but at length with a sudden +change of countenance, 'We neither of us did it,' he exclaimed; 'her +death is no act of ours. It is part of the eternal not-ourselves that +makes for righteousness—righteousness, which is, as we all know, but +another name for happiness. Let us adore the event with reverence.'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' said the curate, 'we are well rid of her. She was an immoral old +woman, for happiness is the test of morality, and she was very unhappy.'</p> + +<p>'On the contrary,' said the Professor, 'she was a moral old woman; for +she has made us happy by dying so very opportunely. Let us speak well of +the dead. Her death has been a holy and a blessed one. She has conformed +to the laws of matter. Thus is unhappiness destined to fade out of the +world. Quick! let us tie a bag of shot to all the sorrow and evil of +Humanity, which, after all, is only a fourth part of it, and let us sink +her in the bay close at hand, that she may catch lobsters for us.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX.</h3> + + +<p>At last,' said the Professor, as they began dinner that evening, 'the +fulness of time has come. All the evils of Humanity are removed, and +progress has come to an end because it can go no further. We have +nothing now to do but to be unspeakably and significantly happy.'</p> + +<p>The champagne flowed freely. Our friends ate and drank of the best, +their spirits rose, and Virginia admitted that this was really 'jolly.' +The sense of the word pleased the Professor, but its sound seemed below +the gravity of the occasion; so he begged her to say 'sublime' instead. +'We can make it mean,' he said, 'just the same, but we prefer it for the +sake of its associations.'</p> + +<p>It soon, however, occurred to him that eating and drinking were hardly +delights sufficient to justify the highest state of human emotion, and +he began to fear he had been feeling sublime prematurely; but in another +moment he recollected he was an altruist, and that the secret of their +happiness was not that any one of them was happy, but that they each +knew the others were.</p> + +<p>'Yes, my dear curate,' said the Professor, 'what I am enjoying is the +champagne that you drink, and what you are enjoying is the champagne +that I drink. This is altruism; this is benevolence; this is the sublime +outcome of enlightened modern thought. The pleasures of the table, in +themselves, are low and beastly ones; but if we each of us are only glad +because the others are enjoying them, they become holy and glorious +beyond description.'</p> + +<p>'They do,' cried the curate rapturously, 'indeed they do. I will drink +another bottle for your sake. It is sublime!' he said, as he tossed off +three glasses. 'It is significant!' he said as he finished three more. +'Tell me, my dear, do I look significant?' he added, as he turned to +Virginia, and suddenly tried, to crown the general bliss by kissing her.</p> + +<p>Virginia started back, looking fire and fury at him. The Professor was +completely astounded by an occurrence so unnatural, and exclaimed in a +voice of thunder, 'Morality, sir—remember morality! How dare you upset +that which Professor Huxley tells us must be for ever strong enough to +hold its own?'</p> + +<p>But the last glass of champagne had put the curate beyond the reach of +exact thought. He tumbled under the table, and the Professor carried him +off to bed.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X.</h3> + + +<p>The Professor, like most serious thinkers, knew but little of that +trifle commonly called 'the world.' He had never kissed any one except +his wife; even that he did as seldom as possible; and the curate lying +dead drunk was the first glimpse he had of what, <i>par excellence</i>, is +described as 'life.' But though the scene just recounted was thus a +terrible shock to him, in one way it gave him an unlooked-for comfort. +He had felt that even yet things were not quite as sublime as they +should be. He now saw the reason. 'Of course,' he said, 'existence +cannot be perfect so long as one third of Humanity makes a beast of +itself. A little more progress must be still necessary.'</p> + +<p>He hastened to explain this next morning to Virginia, and begged her not +to be alarmed at the curate's scandalous conduct. 'Immorality,' he said, +'is but a want of success in attaining our own happiness. It is +evidently most immoral for the curate to be kissing you; and therefore +kissing you would not really conduce to his happiness. I will convince +him of this solemn truth in a very few moments. Then the essential +dignity of human nature will become at once apparent, and we shall all +of us at last begin to be unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>The curate, however, altogether declined to be convinced. He maintained +stoutly that to kiss Virginia would be the greatest pleasure that +Humanity could offer him. 'And if it is immoral as well as pleasant,' he +added, 'I should like it all the better.'</p> + +<p>At this the Professor gave a terrible groan; he dropped almost fainting +into a chair; he hid his face in his hands; and murmured +half-articulately, 'Then I can't tell what to do!' In another instant, +however, he recovered himself; and fixing a dreadful look on the +curate, 'That last statement of yours,' he said, 'cannot be true; for if +it were, it would upset all my theories. It is a fact that can be proved +and verified, that if you kissed Virginia it would make you miserable.'</p> + +<p>'Pardon me,' said the curate, rapidly moving towards her, 'your notion +is a remnant of superstition; I will explode it by a practical +experiment.'</p> + +<p>The Professor caught hold of the curate's coat-tails, and forcibly +pulled him back into his seat.</p> + +<p>'If you dare attempt it,' he said, 'I will kick you soundly, and, +shocking, immoral man! you will feel miserable enough then.'</p> + +<p>The curate was a terrible coward, and very weak as well. 'You are a +great hulking fellow,' he said, eyeing the Professor; 'and I am of a +singularly delicate build. I must, therefore, conform to the laws of +matter, and give in.' He said this in a very sulky voice; and, going out +of the room, slammed the door after him.</p> + +<p>A radiant expression suffused the face of the Professor. 'See,' he said +to Virginia, 'the curate's conversion is already half accomplished. In a +few hours more he will be rational, he will be moral, he will be +solemnly and significantly happy.'</p> + +<p>The Professor talked like this to Virginia the whole morning; but in +spite of all his arguments, she declined to be comforted. 'It is all +very well,' she said, 'whilst you are in the way. But as soon as your +back is turned, I know he will be at me again.'</p> + +<p>'Will you never,' said Paul, by this time a little irritated, 'will you +never listen to exact thought? The curate is now reflecting; and a +little reflection must inevitably convince him that he does not really +care to kiss you, and that it would give him very little real pleasure +to do so.'</p> + +<p>'Stuff!' exclaimed Virginia, with a sudden vigour at which the Professor +was thunderstruck. 'I can tell you,' she went on, 'that better men than +he have borne kicks for my sake; and to kiss me is the only thing that +that little man cares about.—What <i>shall</i> I do?' she exclaimed, +bursting into tears. 'Here is one of you insulting me by trying to kiss +me; and the other insulting me by saying that I am not worth being +kissed!'</p> + +<p>'Ah, me!' groaned the poor Professor in an agony, 'here is one third of +Humanity plunged in sorrow; and another third has not yet freed itself +from vice. When, when, I wonder, will the sublimity begin?'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI.</h3> + + +<p>At dinner, however, things wore a more promising aspect. The curate had +been so terrified by the Professor's threats, that he hardly dared to so +much as look at Virginia; and to make up for it, he drank and drank +champagne, till the strings of his tongue were loosed, and he was +laughing and chattering at a rate that was quite extraordinary. +Virginia, seeing herself thus neglected by the curate, began to fear +that, as Paul said, he really did not so much care to kiss her after +all. She, therefore, put on all her most enticing ways; she talked, +flirted, and smiled her best, and made her most effective eyes, that the +curate might see what a prize was for ever beyond his reach.</p> + +<p>This state of affairs seemed full of glorious promise. Virginia's tears +were dried, she had never looked so radiant and exquisite before. The +curate had foregone every attempt to kiss Virginia, and yet apparently +he was happiness itself; and Paul took him aside, as soon as the meal +was over, to congratulate him on the holy state to which exact thought +had conducted him. 'You see,' Paul said, 'what a natural growth the +loftiest morality is. Virginia doesn't want to be kissed by you. I +should be shocked at your doing so shocking a thing as kissing her. If +you kissed her, you would make both of us miserable; and, as a necessary +consequence, you would be in an agony likewise; in addition to which, I +should inevitably kick you.'</p> + +<p>'But,' said the curate, 'suppose I kissed Virginia on the sly,—I merely +put this as an hypothesis, remember,—and that in a little while she +liked it, what then? She and I would both be happy, and you ought to be +happy too, because we were.'</p> + +<p>'Idiot!' said the Professor. 'Virginia is another man's wife. Nobody +really likes kissing another man's wife; nor do wives ever like kissing +any one except their husbands. What they really like is what Professor +Huxley calls "the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good," +which, as he says, exact thought shows us is the true end of existence. +But, pooh! what is the use of all this talking? You know which way your +higher nature calls you; and, of course, unless men believe in God, they +cannot help obeying their higher nature.'</p> + +<p>'I,' said the curate, 'think the belief in God a degrading superstition; +I think every one an imbecile who believes a miracle possible. And yet +I do not care two straws about the highest good. What you call my lower +nature is far the strongest; I mean to follow it to the best of my +ability; and I prefer calling it my higher, for the sake of the +associations.'</p> + +<p>This plunged the Professor in deeper grief than ever. He knew not what +to do. He paced up and down the verandah, or about the rooms, and moaned +and groaned as if he had a violent toothache. Virginia and the curate +asked what was amiss with him. 'I am agonising,' he said, 'for the sake +of holy, solemn, unspeakably dignified Humanity.'</p> + +<p>The curate, seeing the Professor thus dejected, by degrees took heart +again, and as Virginia still continued her fascinating behaviour to him, +he resolved to try and prove to her that, the test of morality being +happiness, the most moral thing she could do would be to allow him to +kiss her. No sooner had he begun to propound these views, than the +Professor gave over his groaning, seized the curate by the collar, and +dragged him out of the room with a roughness that nearly throttled him.</p> + +<p>'I was but propounding a theory—an opinion,' gasped the curate. 'Surely +thought is free. You will not persecute me for my opinions?'</p> + +<p>'It is not for your opinions,' said the Professor, 'but for the +horrible effect they might have. Opinions,' he roared, 'can only be +tolerated which have no possible consequences. You may promulgate any of +those as much as you like; because to do that would be a self-regarding +action.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII.</h3> + + +<p>'Well,' said the curate, 'if I may not kiss Virginia, I will drink +brandy instead. That will make me happy enough; and then we shall all be +radiant.'</p> + +<p>He soon put his resolve into practice. He got a bottle of brandy, he sat +himself down under a palm-tree, and told the Professor he was going to +make an afternoon of it.</p> + +<p>'Foolish man!' said the Professor; 'I was never drunk myself, it is +true; but I know that to get drunk makes one's head ache horribly. To +get drunk is, therefore, horribly immoral; and therefore I cannot permit +it.'</p> + +<p>'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'it is a self-regarding action. Nobody's +head will ache but mine; so that is my own look-out. I have been +expelled from school, from college, and from my first curacy for +drinking. So I know well enough the balance of pains and pleasures.'</p> + +<p>Here he pulled out his brandy bottle, and applied his lips to it.</p> + +<p>'Oh, Humanity!' he exclaimed, 'how solemn this brandy tastes!'</p> + +<p>Matters went on like this for several days. The curate was too much +frightened to again approach Virginia. Virginia at last became convinced +that he did not care about kissing her. Her vanity was wounded, and she +became sullen; and this made the Professor sullen also. In fact, two +thirds of Humanity were overcast with gloom. The only happy section of +it was the curate, who alternately smoked and drank all day long.</p> + +<p>'The nasty little beast!' said Virginia to the Professor, 'he is nearly +always drunk. I am beginning quite to like you, Paul, by comparison +with him. Let us turn him out, and not let him live in the cottage.'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor; 'for he is one third of Humanity. You do not +properly appreciate the solidarity of mankind. His existence, however, I +admit is a great difficulty.'</p> + +<p>One day at dinner-time, shortly afterwards, Paul came in radiant.</p> + +<p>'Oh holy, oh happy event!' he exclaimed; 'all will go right at last.'</p> + +<p>Virginia inquired anxiously what had happened, and Paul informed her +that the curate, who had got more drunk than usual that afternoon, had +fallen over a cliff, and been dashed to pieces.</p> + +<p>'What event,' he asked, 'could be more charming more unspeakably holy? +It bears about it every mark of sanctity. It is for the greatest +happiness of the greatest number. Come,' he continued, 'let you and me +together, purged of sin, and purged of sorrow as we are—let us begin +our love-feast. Let us each seek the happiness of the other. Let us +instantly be sublime and happy.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a>CHAPTER XIII.</h3> + + +<p>'The supreme moment is come,' said Paul solemnly, as they sat down to +dinner. 'Let us prepare ourselves for realising to the full the +essential dignity of Humanity—that <i>grand être</i>, which has come, in the +course of progress, to consist of you and me. Virginia, consider this. +Every condition of happiness that modern thinkers have dreamed of is now +fulfilled. We have but to seek each the happiness of the other, and we +shall both be in a solemn, a significant, and unspeakable state of +rapture. See, here is an exquisite leg of mutton. I,' said Paul, who +liked the fat best, 'I will give up all the fat to you.'</p> + +<p>'And I,' said Virginia, resignedly, 'will give up all the lean to you,'</p> + +<p>A few mouthfuls made Virginia feel sick. 'I confess,' said she, 'I can't +get on with this fat.'</p> + +<p>'I confess,' the Professor answered, 'I don't exactly like this lean.'</p> + +<p>'Then let us,' said Virginia, 'be like Jack Sprat and his wife.'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor, meditatively, 'that is quite inadmissible. For +in that case we should be egoistic hedonists. However, for to-day it +shall be as you say. I will think of something better to-morrow.'</p> + +<p>Next day he and Virginia had a chicken apiece; only Virginia's was put +before Paul, and Paul's before Virginia; and they each walked round the +table to supply each other with the slightest necessaries.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' cried Paul, 'this is altruism indeed. I think already I can feel +the sublimity beginning.'</p> + +<p>Virginia liked this rather better. But soon she committed the sin of +taking for herself the liver of Paul's chicken. As soon as she had eaten +the whole of it her conscience began to smite her. She confessed her +sin to Paul, and inquired, with some anxiety, if he thought she would go +to hell for it? 'Metaphorically,' said Paul, 'you have already done so. +You are punished by the loss of the pleasure you would have had in +giving that liver to me, and also by your knowledge of my knowledge of +your folly in foregoing the pleasure.'</p> + +<p>Virginia was much relieved by this answer; she at once took several more +of the Professor's choicest bits, and was happy in the thought that her +sins were expiated in the very act of their commission, by the latent +pain she felt persuaded they were attended by. Feeling that this was +sufficient, she took care not to add Paul's disapproval to her +punishment, so she never told him again.</p> + +<p>For a short time this practice of altruism seemed to Virginia to have +many advantages. But though the Professor was always exclaiming, 'How +significant is human life by the very nature of its constitution!' she +very soon found it a trifle dull. Luckily, however, she hit upon a new +method of exercising morality, and, as the Professor fully admitted, of +giving it a yet more solemn significance.</p> + +<p>The Professor having by some accident lost his razors, his moustaches +had begun to grow profusely, and Virginia had watched them with a deep +but half-conscious admiration. At last, in a happy moment, she +exclaimed, 'Oh, Paul, do let me wax the ends for you,' Paul at first +giggled, blushed, and protested, but, as Virginia assured him it would +make her happy, he consented. 'Then,' she said, 'you will know that I am +happy, and that in return will make you happy also. Ah!' she exclaimed +when the operation was over, 'do go and examine yourself in the glass. I +declare you look exactly like Jack Barley—Barley-Sugar, as we used to +call him—of the Blues.'</p> + +<p>Virginia smiled; suddenly she blushed; the Professor blushed also. To +cover the blushes she begged to be allowed to do his hair. 'It will make +me so much happier, Paul,' she said. The Professor again assented, that +he might make Virginia happy, and that she might be happy in knowing +that he was happy in promoting her happiness. At last the Professor, shy +and awkward as he was, was emboldened to offer to do Virginia's hair in +return. She allowed him to arrange her fringe, and, as she found he did +no great harm to it, she let him repeat the operation as often as he +liked.</p> + +<p>A week thus passed, full, as the Professor said, of infinite solemnity. +'I admit, Paul,' sighed Virginia, 'that this altruism, as you call it, +is very touching. I like it very much. But,' she added, sinking her +voice to a whisper, 'are you quite sure, Paul, that it is perfectly +moral?'</p> + +<p>'Moral!' echoed the Professor, 'moral! Why, exact thought shows us that +it is the very essence of all morality!'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV.</h3> + + +<p>Matters now went on charmingly. All existence seemed to take a richer +colouring, and there was something, Paul said, which, in Professor +Tyndall's words, 'gave fulness and tone to it, but which he could +neither analyse nor comprehend.' But at last a change came. One morning, +whilst Virginia was arranging Paul's moustaches, she was frightened +almost into a fit by a sudden apparition at the window. It was a +hideous hairy figure, perfectly naked but for a band of silver which it +wore about its neck. For a moment it did nothing but grin and stare; +then, uttering a discordant scream, it flung into Virginia's lap a +filthy piece of carrion, and in an instant it had bounded away with an +almost miraculous activity.</p> + +<p>Virginia shrieked with disgust and terror, and clung to Paul's knees for +protection. He, however, in some strange way, seemed unmoved and +preoccupied. All at once, to her intense surprise, she saw his face +light up with an expression of triumphant eagerness. 'The missing link!' +he exclaimed, 'the missing link at last! Thank God.—I beg pardon for +my unspeakable blasphemy—I mean, thank circumstances over which I have +no control. I must this instant go out and hunt for it. Give me some +provisions in a knapsack, for I will not come back till I have caught +it.'</p> + +<p>This was a fearful blow to Virginia. She fell at Paul's feet weeping, +and besought him in piteous accents that he would not thus abandon her.</p> + +<p>'I must,' said the Professor solemnly, 'for I am going in pursuit of +Truth. To arrive at Truth is man's perfect and most rapturous happiness. +You must surely know that, even if I have forgotten to tell it to you. +To pursue truth—holy truth for holy truth's sake—is a more solemn +pleasure than even frizzling your hair.'</p> + +<p>'Oh,' cried. Virginia, hysterically, 'I don't care two straws for truth. +What on earth is the good of it?'</p> + +<p>'It is its own end,' said the Professor. 'It is its own exceeding great +reward. I must be off at once in search of it. Good-bye for the present. +Seek truth on your own account, and be unspeakably happy also, because +you know that I am seeking it.'</p> + +<p>The Professor remained away for three days. For the first two of them +Virginia was inconsolable. She wandered about mournfully with her head +dejected. She very often sighed; she very often uttered the name of +Paul. At last she surprised herself by exclaiming aloud to the +irresponsive solitude, 'Oh, Paul, until you were gone, I never knew how +passionately I loved you.' No sooner were these words out of her mouth +than she stood still, horror-stricken. 'Alas!' she cried, 'and have I +really come to this? I am in a state of deadly sin, and there is no +priest here to confess to! Alone, alone I must conquer my forbidden love +as I may. But, ah me, what a guilty thing I am!'</p> + +<p>As she uttered these words, her eyes fell on a tin box of the +Professor's, marked 'Private,' which he always kept carefully locked, +and which had before now excited her curiosity. Suddenly she became +conscious of a new impulse. 'I will pursue truth!' she exclaimed. 'I +will break that box open, and I will see what is inside it. Ah!' she +added, as with the aid of the poker she at last wrenched off the +padlock. 'Paul may be right, after all. There is more interest in the +pursuit of truth than I thought there was.'</p> + +<p>The box was full of papers, letters, and diaries, the greater part of +which were marked 'Strictly private.' Seeing this, Virginia's appetite +for truth became keener than ever. She instantly began her researches. +The more she read, the more eager she became; and the more private +appeared the nature of the documents, the more insatiable did her +thirst for truth grow. To her extreme surprise, she gathered that the +Professor had begun life as a clergyman. There were several photographs +of him in his surplice; and a number of devout prayers, apparently +composed by himself for his own personal use. This discovery was the +result of her labours.</p> + +<p>'Certainly,' she said, 'it is one of extreme significance. If Paul was a +priest once, he must be a priest now. Orders are indelible—at least in +the Church of England I know they are.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV"></a>CHAPTER XV.</h3> + + +<p>Paul came back, to Virginia's extreme relief, without the missing link. +But he was still radiant in spite of his failure; for he had discovered, +he said, a place where the creature had apparently slept, and he had +collected in a card-paper box a large number of its parasites.</p> + +<p>'I am glad,' said Virginia, 'that you have not found the missing link: +though as to thinking that we really came from monkeys, of course that +is too absurd. Now if you could have brought me a nice monkey, I should +really have liked that. The Bishop has promised that I shall have a +darling one, if I ever reach him—ah me!—if——Paul,' continued +Virginia, in a very solemn voice, after a long pause, 'do you know that +whilst you have been away I have been pursuing truth? I rather liked it; +and I found it very, very significant.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, joy!' exclaimed the Professor. 'Oh, unspeakable radiance! Oh, holy, +oh essentially dignified Humanity! it will very soon be perfect! Tell +me, Virginia, what truths have you been discovering?'</p> + +<p>'One truth about you, Paul,' said Virginia, very gravely, 'and one +truth about me. I burn—oh, I burn to tell them to you!'</p> + +<p>The Professor was enraptured to hear that one half of Humanity had been +thus studying human nature; and he began asking Virginia if her +discoveries belonged to the domain of historical or biological science. +Meanwhile Virginia had flung herself on her knees before him, and was +exclaiming, in piteous accents—</p> + +<p>'By my fault, by my own fault, by my very grievous fault, holy father, I +confess to you——'</p> + +<p>'Is the woman mad?' cried the Professor, starting up from his seat.</p> + +<p>'You are a priest, Paul,' said Virginia; 'that is one of the things I +have discovered. I am in a state of deadly sin; that is the other: and I +must and will confess to you. Once a priest, always a priest. You cannot +get rid of your orders, and you must and shall hear me.'</p> + +<p>'I was once in orders, it is true,' said Paul, reluctantly; 'but how did +you find out my miserable secret?'</p> + +<p>'In my zeal for truth,' said Virginia, 'I broke open your tin box; I +read all your letters; I looked at your early photographs; I saw all +your beautiful prayers.'</p> + +<p>'You broke open my box!' cried the Professor. 'You read my letters and +my private papers! Oh, horrible! oh, immoral! What shall we do if one +half of Humanity has no feeling of honour?'</p> + +<p>'Oh!' said Virginia, 'it was all for the love of truth—of solemn and +holy truth. I sacrificed every other feeling for that. But I have not +told you my truth yet; and I am determined you shall hear it, or I must +still remain in my sins. Paul, I am a married woman; and I discover, in +spite of that, that I have fallen in love with you. My husband, it is +true, is far away; and whatever we do, he could never possibly be the +wiser. But I am in a state of mortal sin, nevertheless; and I would +give anything in the world if you would only kiss me.'</p> + +<p>'Woman!' exclaimed Paul, aghast with fright and horror, 'do you dare to +abuse truth, by turning it to such base purposes?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, you are so clever,' Virginia went on, 'and when the ends of your +moustaches are waxed, you look positively handsome; and I love you so +deeply and so tenderly, that I shall certainly go to hell if you do not +give me absolution.'</p> + +<p>At this the Professor jumped up, and, staring very hard at Virginia, +asked her if, after all that he had said on the ship, she really +believed in such exploded fallacies as hell, God, and priestcraft.</p> + +<p>She reminded him that he had preached there without a surplice, and that +she had therefore not thought it right to listen to a word he said.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' cried the Professor, with a sigh of intense relief, 'I see it all +now. How can Humanity ever be unspeakably holy so long as one half of it +grovels in dreams of an unspeakably holy God? As Mr. Frederic Harrison +truly says, a want of faith in "the essential dignity of man is one of +the surest marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a +celestial glory."' The Professor accordingly re-delivered to Virginia +the entire substance of his lectures in the ship. He fully impressed on +her that all the intellect of the world was on the side of Humanity; and +that God's existence could be disproved with a box of chemicals. He was +agreeably surprised at finding her not at all unwilling to be convinced, +and extremely unexacting in her demands for proof. In a few days she had +not a remnant of superstition left. 'At last!' exclaimed the Professor; +'it has come at last. Unspeakable happiness will surely begin now.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI"></a>CHAPTER XVI.</h3> + + +<p>No one now could possibly be more emancipated than Virginia. She +tittered all day long and whenever the Professor asked her why, she +always told him she was thinking of 'an intelligent First Cause,' a +conception which she said 'was really quite killing.' But when her first +burst of intellectual excitement was over, she became more serious. 'All +thought, Paul,' she said, 'is valuable mainly because it leads to +action. Come, my love, my dove, my beauty, and let us kiss each other +all daylong. Let us enjoy the charming license which exact thought shows +us we shall never be punished for.'</p> + +<p>This was a result of freedom that the Professor had never bargained for. +He could not understand it, 'because,' he argued, 'if people were to +reason in that way, morality would at once cease to be possible.' But he +had seen so much of the world lately, that he soon recovered himself, +and recollecting that immorality was only ignorance, he began to show +Virginia where her error lay—-her one remaining error. 'I perceive,' he +said, 'that you are ignorant of one of the greatest triumphs of exact +thought—the distinction it has established between the lower and the +higher pleasures. Philosophers, who have thought the whole thing over in +their studies, have become sure that as soon as the latter are presented +to men they will at once leave all and follow them.'</p> + +<p>'They must be very nice pleasures,' said Virginia, 'if they would make +me leave kissing you for the sake of them.'</p> + +<p>'They <i>are</i> nice,' said the Professor. 'They are the pleasures of the +imagination, the intellect, and the glorious apprehension of truth. +Compared with these, kissing me would be quite insipid. Remain here for +a moment, whilst I go to fetch something, and you shall then begin to +taste them.'</p> + +<p>In a few moments Paul came back again, and found Virginia in a state of +intense expectancy.</p> + +<p>'Now—,' he exclaimed triumphantly.</p> + +<p>'Now—,' exclaimed Virginia, with a beating heart.</p> + +<p>The Professor put his hand in his pocket, and drew slowly forth from it +an object which Virginia knew well. It reminded her of the most innocent +period of her life; but she hated the very sight of it none the less. It +was a Colenso's Arithmetic.</p> + +<p>'Come,' said the Professor, 'no truths are so pure and necessary as +those of mathematics; you shall at once begin the glorious apprehension +of them.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, Paul,' cried Virginia, in an agony, 'but I really don't care for +truth at all; and you know that when I broke your tin box open and read +your private letters in my search for it, you were very angry with me.'</p> + +<p>'Ah!' said Paul, holding up his finger, 'but those were not necessary +truths. Truths about human action and character are not necessary +truths; therefore men of science care nothing about them, and they have +no place in scientific systems of ethics. Pure truths are of a very +different character; and, however much you may misunderstand your own +inclinations, you can really care for nothing so much as doing a few +sums. I will set you some very easy ones to begin with, and you shall do +them by yourself, whilst I magnify in the next room the parasites of the +missing link.'</p> + +<p>Virginia saw that there was no help for it. She did her sums by herself +the whole morning, which, as at school she had been very good at +arithmetic, was not a hard task for her, and Paul magnified parasites in +the next room, and prepared slides for his microscope.</p> + +<p>When they met again, Paul began skipping and dancing, as if he had gone +quite out of his senses, and every now and then between the skips he +gave a sepulchral groan. Virginia asked him in astonishment what on +earth was the matter with him.</p> + +<p>'Matter!' he exclaimed. 'Why, Humanity is at last perfect! All the evils +of existence are removed; we neither of us believe in a God or a +celestial future; and we are both in full enjoyment of the higher +pleasures and the apprehension of scientific truth. And therefore I skip +because Humanity is so unspeakably happy, and I groan because it is so +unspeakably solemn.'</p> + +<p>'Alas! alas!' cried Virginia, 'and would not you like to kiss me?'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor, sternly; 'and you would not like me to kiss +you. It is impossible that one half of Humanity should prefer the +pleasure of unlawful love to the pleasure of finding out scientific +truths.'</p> + +<p>'But,' pleaded Virginia, 'cannot we enjoy both?'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor, 'for if I began to kiss you I should soon not +care two straws about the parasites of the missing link.'</p> + +<p>'Well, said Virginia, 'it is nice of you to say that; but still——Ah +me! Ah me!'</p> + +<p>And her bosom heaved slowly with a soft, long sigh.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XVII" id="CHAPTER_XVII"></a>CHAPTER XVII.</h3> + + +<p>Virginia was preparing, with a rueful face, to resume her enjoyment of +the higher pleasures, when a horrible smell, like that of an open drain, +was suddenly blown in through the window.</p> + +<p>Virginia stopped her nose with her handkerchief. The Professor's conduct +was very different.</p> + +<p>'Oh, rapture!' he cried, jumping up from his seat, 'I smell the missing +link.' And in another instant he was gone.</p> + +<p>'Well,' said Virginia, 'here is one comfort. Whilst Paul is away I shall +be relieved from the higher pleasures. Alas!' she cried, as she flung +herself down on the sofa, 'he is so nice-looking, and such an +enlightened thinker. But it is plain he has never loved, or else very +certainly he would love again.'</p> + +<p>Paul returned in about a couple of hours, again unsuccessful in his +search.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'I am so glad you have not caught the creature!'</p> + +<p>'Glad!' echoed the Professor, 'glad! Do you know that till I have caught +the missing link the cause of glorious truth will suffer grievously? +The missing link is the token of the solemn fact of our origin from +inorganic matter. I did but catch one blessed glimpse of him. He had +certainly a silver band about his neck. He was about three feet high. He +was rolling in a lump of carrion. It is through him that we are related +to the stars—the holy, the glorious stars, about which we know so +little.'</p> + +<p>'Bother the stars!' said Virginia; 'I couldn't bear, Paul, that anything +should come between you and me. I have been thinking of you and longing +for you the whole time you have been away.'</p> + +<p>'What!' cried Paul, 'and how have you been able to forego the pleasures +of the intellect?'</p> + +<p>'I have deserted them,' cried Virginia, 'for the pleasures of the +imagination, which I gathered from you were also very ennobling. And I +found they were so; for I have been imagining that you loved me. Why is +the reality less ennobling than the imagination? Paul, you shall love +me; I will force you to love me. It will make us both so happy: we shall +never go to hell for it; and it cannot possibly cause the slightest +scandal.'</p> + +<p>The Professor was more bewildered than ever by these appeals. He +wondered how Humanity would ever get on if one half of it cared nothing +for pure truth, and persisted in following the vulgar impulses that had +been the most distinguishing feature of its benighted past—that is to +say, those ages of its existence of which any record has been preserved +for us. Luckily, however, Virginia came to his assistance.</p> + +<p>'I think I know, Paul,' she said, 'why I do not care as I should do for +the intellectual pleasures. We have both been seeking them by ourselves; +and we have been therefore egoistic hedonists. It is quite true, as you +say, that selfishness is a despicable thing. Let me,' she went on, +sitting down beside him, 'look through your microscope along with you. +I think perhaps, if we shared the pleasure, the missing link's parasites +might have some interest for me.'</p> + +<p>The Professor was overjoyed at this proposal. The two sat down side by +side, and tried their best to look simultaneously through the eye-piece +of the microscope. Virginia in a moment expressed herself much +satisfied. It is true they saw nothing; but their cheeks touched. The +Professor too seemed contented, and said they should both be in a state +of rapture when they had got the right focus. At last Virginia +whispered, with a soft smile—</p> + +<p>'Suppose we put that nasty microscope aside; it is only in the way. And +then, oh, Paul; dear love, dove of a Paul! we can kiss each other to our +heart's content.'</p> + +<p>Paul thought Virginia quite incorrigible, and rushed headlong out of the +room.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XVIII" id="CHAPTER_XVIII"></a>CHAPTER XVIII.</h3> + + +<p>'Alas!' cried Paul, 'what can be done to convince one half of Humanity +that it is really devoted to the higher pleasures and does not care for +the lower—at least nothing to speak of?' The poor man was in a state of +dreadful perplexity, and felt wellnigh distracted. At last a light broke +in on him. He remembered that as one of his most revered masters, +Professor Tyndall, had admitted, a great part of Humanity would always +need a religion, and that Virginia now had none. He at once rushed back +to her. 'Ah!' he exclaimed, 'all is explained now. You cannot be in love +with me, for that would be unlawful passion. Unlawful passion is +unreasonable, and unreasonable passion would quite upset a system of +pure reason, which is what exact thought shows us is soon going to +govern the world. No! the emotions that you fancy are directed to me are +in reality cosmic emotion—in other words, are the reasonable religion +of the future. I must now initiate you in its solemn and unspeakably +significant worship.'</p> + +<p>'Religion!' exclaimed Virginia, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. +'It is not kind of you to be making fun of me. There is no God, no soul, +and no supernatural order, and above all there is no hell. How then can +you talk to me about religion?'</p> + +<p>'You,' replied Paul, 'are associating religion with theology, as indeed +the world hitherto always has done. But those two things, as Professor +Huxley well observes, have absolutely nothing to do with each other. "It +may be," says that great teacher, "that the object of a man's religion +is an ideal of sensual enjoyment, or——"'</p> + +<p>'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'that is my religion, Paul.'</p> + +<p>'Nonsense!' replied Paul; 'that cannot be the religion of half Humanity, +else high, holy, solemn, awful morality would never be able to stand on +its own basis. See, the night has fallen, the glorious moon has arisen, +the stupendous stars are sparkling in the firmament. Come down with me +to the sea-shore, where we may be face to face with nature, and I will +show you then what true religion—what true worship is.'</p> + +<p>The two went out together. They stood on the smooth sands, which +glittered white and silvery in the dazzling moonlight All was hushed. +The gentle murmur of the trees, and the soft splash of the sea, seemed +only to make the silence audible. The Professor paused close beside +Virginia, and took her hand. Virginia liked that, and thought that +religion without theology was not perhaps so bad after all. Meanwhile +Paul had fixed his eyes on the moon. Then, in a voice almost broken with +emotion, he whispered, 'The prayer of the man of science, it has been +said, must be for the most part of the silent sort. He who said that was +wrong. It need not be silent; it need only be inarticulate. I have +discovered an audible and a reasonable liturgy which will give utterance +to the full to the religion of exact thought. Let us both join our +voices, and let us croon at the moon.'</p> + +<p>The Professor at once began a long, low howling. Virginia joined him, +until she was out of breath.</p> + +<p>'Oh, Paul,' she said at last, 'is this more rational than the Lord's +Prayer?'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' said the Professor, 'for we can analyse and comprehend that; but +true religious feeling, as Professor Tyndall tells us, we can neither +analyse nor comprehend. See how big nature is, and how little—ah, how +little!—we know about it. Is it not solemn, and sublime, and awful? +Come let us howl again.'</p> + +<p>The Professor's devotional fervour grew every moment. At last he put his +hand to his mouth, and began hooting like an owl, till it seemed that +all the island echoed to him. The louder Paul hooted and howled, the +more near did he draw to Virginia.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' he said, as he put his arm about her waist, 'it is in solemn +moments like this that the solidarity of mankind becomes apparent.'</p> + +<p>Virginia, during the last few moments, had stuck her fingers in her +ears. She now took them out, and, throwing her arms round Paul's neck, +tried, with her cheek on his shoulder, to make another little hoot; but +the sound her lips formed was much more like a kiss. The power of +religion was at last too much for Paul.</p> + +<p>'For the sake of cosmic emotion,' he exclaimed, 'O other half of +Humanity, and for the sake of rational religion, both of which are +showing themselves under quite a new light to me, I will kiss you.'</p> + +<p>The Professor was bending down his face over her, when, as if by magic, +he started, stopped, and remained as one petrified. Amidst the sharp +silence, there rang a human shout from the rocks.</p> + +<p>'Oh!' shrieked Virginia, falling on her knees, 'it is a miracle! it is a +miracle! And I know—merciful heavens—I know the meaning of it. God is +angry with us for pretending that we do not believe on Him.'</p> + +<p>The Professor was as white as a sheet; but he struggled with his +perturbation manfully.</p> + +<p>'It is not a miracle,' he cried, 'but an hallucination. It is an axiom +with exact thinkers that all proofs of the miraculous are +hallucinations.'</p> + +<p>'See,' shrieked Virginia again, 'they are coming, they are coming. Do +not you see them?'</p> + +<p>Paul looked, and there sure enough, were two figures, a male and a +female, advancing slowly towards them, across the moonlit sand.</p> + +<p>'It is nothing,' cried Paul; 'it cannot possibly be anything. I protest, +in the name of science, that it is an optical delusion.'</p> + +<p>Suddenly the female figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is he!'</p> + +<p>In another moment the male figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is she!'</p> + +<p>'My husband!' gasped Virginia.</p> + +<p>'My wife!' replied the bishop, for it was none other than he. 'Welcome +to Chasuble Island. By the blessing of God it is on your own home you +have been wrecked, and you have been living in the very house that I had +intended to prepare for you. Providentially, too, Professor Darnley's +wife has called here, in her search for her husband, who has overstayed +his time. See, my love, my dove, my beauty, here is the monkey I +promised you as a pet, which broke loose a few days ago, and which I was +in the act of looking for when your joint cries attracted us, and we +found you.'</p> + +<p>A yell of delight here broke from the Professor. The eyes of the others +were turned on him, and he was seen embracing wildly a monkey which the +bishop led by a chain. 'The missing link! he exclaimed, 'the missing +link!'</p> + +<p>'Nonsense!' cried the sharp tones of a lady with a green gown and grey +corkscrew curls. 'It is nothing but a monkey that the good bishop has +been trying to tame for his wife. Don't you see her name engraved on +the collar?'</p> + +<p>The shrill accents acted like a charm upon Paul. He sprang away from the +creature that he had been just caressing. He gazed for a moment on +Virginia's lovely form, her exquisite toilette, and her melting eyes. +Then he turned wildly to the green gown and the grey corkscrew curls. +Sorrow and superstition, he felt, were again invading Humanity. 'Alas!' +he exclaimed at last, 'I do now indeed believe in hell.'</p> + +<p>'And I,' cried Virginia, with much greater tact, and rushing into the +arms of her bishop, 'once more believe in heaven.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="NOTES" id="NOTES"></a>NOTES.</h3> + + +<p>'We now find it (<i>the earth</i>) not only swathed by an atmosphere, and +covered by a sea, but also crowded with living things. The question is, +how were they introduced?... The conclusion of science would undoubtedly +be, that the molten earth contained within it elements of life, which +grouped themselves into their present forms as the planet cooled. The +difficulty and reluctance encountered by this conception arise <i>solely</i> +from the fact that the theologic conception obtained a prior footing in +the human mind.... Were not man's origin implicated, we should accept +without a murmur the derivation of animal and vegetable life from what +we call inorganic nature. The conclusion of pure intellect points this +way, and no other.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'Is this egg (<i>from which the human being springs</i>) matter? I hold it to +be so, as much as the seed of a fern or of an oak. Nine months go to +the making of it into a man. Are the additions made during this period +of gestation drawn from matter? I think so, undoubtedly. If there be +anything besides matter in the egg, or in the infant subsequently +slumbering in the womb, what is it?' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'Matter I define as the mysterious thing by which all this is +accomplished.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'I do not think that the materialist is entitled to say that his +molecular groupings and motions explain everything. In reality, they +<i>explain</i> nothing. <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'Who shall exaggerate the deadly influence on personal morality of those +theologies which have represented the Deity ... as a sort of pedantic +drill-sergeant of mankind, to whom no valour, no long-tried loyalty, +could atone for the misplacement of a button of the uniform, or the +misunderstanding of a paragraph of the "regulations and instructions"?' +<span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'(<i>To the Jesuit imagination</i>) God is obviously a large individual, who +holds the leading-strings of the universe, and orders its steps from a +position outside it all.... According to it (<i>this notion</i>) the Power +whom Goethe does not dare to name, and whom Gassendi and Clark Maxwell +present to us under the guise of a manufacturer of atoms, turns out +annually, for England and Wales alone, a quarter of a million of new +souls. Taken in connection with the dictum of Mr. Carlyle, that this +annual increment to our population are "mostly fools," but little profit +to the human heart seems derivable from this mode of regarding the +divine operations.... In the presence of this mystery (<i>the mystery of +life</i>) the notion of an atomic manufacturer and artificer of souls, +raises the doubt whether those who entertain it were ever really +penetrated by the solemnity of the problem for which they offer such a +solution.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'I look forward, however, to a time when the strength, insight, and +elevation which now visit us in mere hints and glimpses, during moments +of clearness and vigour, shall be the stable and permanent possession +of purer and mightier minds than ours—purer and mightier, partly +because of their deeper knowledge of matter, and their more faithful +conformity to its laws.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'The world, as it is, is growing daily dimmer before my eyes. The world, +as it is to be, is ever growing brighter.' <span class="quote">HARRIET MARTINEAU</span>.</p> + +<p>'... When you and I, like streaks of morning cloud, shall have melted +into the infinite azure of the past.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'We, too, turn our thoughts to that which is behind the veil. We strive +to pierce its secret with eyes, we trust, as eager and as fearless, and +even, it may be, more patient in searching for realities behind the +gloom. That which shall come <i>after</i> is no less solemn to us than to +you.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'Theological hypotheses of a new and heterogeneous existence have +deadened our interest in the realities, the grandeur, and the perpetuity +of an earthly life.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'As we read, the calm and humane words of Condorcet, on the very edge of +his yawning grave, we learn, from the conviction of posthumous activity +(not posthumous fame), how the consciousness of a living incorporation +with the glorious future of his race, can give a patience and happiness +equal to that of any martyr of theology.... Once make it (<i>i.e.</i> "this +sense of posthumous participation in the life of our fellows") the basis +of philosophy, the standard of right and wrong, and the centre of a +religion, and this (<i>the conversion of the masses</i>) will prove, perhaps, +an easier task than that of teaching Greeks and Romans, Syrians and +Moors, to look forward to a life of ceaseless psalmody in an immaterial +heaven.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'We make the future life, in the truest sense, social, inasmuch as our +future is simply an active existence prolonged by society; and our +future life rests not in any vague yearning, of which we have as little +evidence as we have definite conception: it rests on a perfectly certain +truth ... that the actions, feelings, thoughts, of each one of us, do +marvellously influence and mould each other.... Can we conceive a more +potent stimulus to rectitude, to daily and hourly striving after a true +life, than this ever-present sense that we are indeed immortal; not that +we have an immortal something within us—but that in very truth we +ourselves, our thinking, feeling, acting personalities, are immortal?' +<span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'As we <i>live for others</i> in life, so we <i>live in others</i> after death.... +How deeply does such a belief as this bring home to each moment of life +the mysterious perpetuity of ourselves! For good, for evil, we cannot +die. We cannot shake ourselves free from this eternity of our +faculties.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'We cannot even say that we shall continue to love; but we know that we +shall be loved.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'It is only when an earthly future is the fulfilment of a worthy earthly +life, that we can see the majesty, as well as the glory, of the world +beyond the grave; and then only will it fulfil its moral and religious +purpose as the great guide of human conduct.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'I am confident that a brighter day is coming for future generations.' +<span class="quote">HARRIET MARTINEAU</span>.</p> + +<p>'The humblest life that ever turned a sod sends a wave—no, more than a +wave, a life—through the evergrowing harmony of human society.' <span class="quote">MR. +FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'Not a single nature, in its entirety, but leaves its influence for good +or for evil. <i>As a fact, the good prevail</i>.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'To our friends and loved ones we shall give the most worthy honour and +tribute if we never say nor remember that they are dead, but, +contrariwise, that they have lived; that hereby the brotherly force and +flow of their action and work may be carried over the gulf of death, and +made immortal in the true and healthy life which they worthily had and +used.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR CLIFFORD</span>.</p> + +<p>'It cannot be doubted that the "spiritual body" of this book (<i>The +Unseen Universe</i>) will be used to support a belief that the dead are +subject either to the <i>shame and suffering of a Christian Heaven</i> and +Hell, or to the degrading service of a modern witch. From <i>each</i> of +these <i>unspeakable profanities</i> let us hope and endeavour that the +memories of great and worthy men may be finally relieved.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR +CLIFFORD</span>.</p> + +<p>'I choose the noble part of Emerson, when, after various +disenchantments, he exclaimed, "I covet truth." The gladness of true +heroism visits the heart of him who is really competent to say this.' +<span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'The highest, as it is the only, content is to be attained, not by +grovelling in the rank and steaming valleys of sense, but by continually +striving towards those high peaks, when, resting in eternal calm, reason +discerns the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good—"a cloud by +day, a pillar of fire by night."' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'If it can be shown by observation and experiment, that theft, murder, +and adultery, do not tend to diminish the happiness of society, then, in +the absence of any but natural knowledge, they are not social +immoralities.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'For my own part, I do not for one moment admit that morality is not +strong enough to hold its own.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'I object to the very general use of the terms religion and theology, as +if they were synonymous, or <i>indeed had anything whatever to do with one +another</i>.... Religion is an affair of the affections. It may be that the +object of a man's religion—the ideal which he worships—is an ideal of +sensual enjoyment.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'In his hour of health ... when the pause of reflection has set in, the +scientific investigator finds himself overshadowed with the same awe. It +associates him with a power which gives fulness and tone to his +existence, but which he can neither analyse nor comprehend.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR +TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'He will see what drivellers even men of strenuous intellects may +become,' though exclusively dwelling and dealing with theological +chimeras. <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'The two kinds of cosmic emotion run together and become one. The +microcosm is viewed only in relation to human action, nature is +presented to the emotions as the guide and teacher of humanity. And the +microcosm is viewed only as tending to complete correspondence with the +external; human conduct is subject for reverence only in so far as it is +consonant to the demiurgic law, in harmony with the teaching of divine +Nature.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR CLIFFORD</span>.</p> + +<p>'The world will have religion of some kind, even though it should fly +for it to the intellectual whoredom of "spiritualism."' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR +TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'All positive methods of treating man, of a comprehensive kind, adopt to +the full all that has ever been said about the dignity of man's moral +and spiritual life.... I do not confine my language to the philosophy or +religion of Comte; for the same conception of man is common to many +philosophies and many religions.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<hr style="width: 95%;" /> +<p class="caption"><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">Chapter I.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_II">Chapter II.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_III">Chapter III.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">Chapter IV.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_V">Chapter V.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">Chapter VI.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">Chapter VII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">Chapter VIII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">Chapter IX.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_X">Chapter X.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">Chapter XI.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XII">Chapter XII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">Chapter XIII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">Chapter XIV.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XV">Chapter XV.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">Chapter XVI.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVII">Chapter XVII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII">Chapter XVIII.</a></span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Notes</span><br /> +</p> + + + + + + + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 37651 ***</div> + +</body> +</html> diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d0187a9 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #37651 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/37651) diff --git a/old/37651-8.txt b/old/37651-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c667b60 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/37651-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2170 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The New Paul and Virginia, by W. H. Mallock + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The New Paul and Virginia + Positivism on an Island + +Author: W. H. Mallock + +Release Date: October 7, 2011 [EBook #37651] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA *** + + + + +Produced by Christine Bell and Marc D'Hooghe at +http://www.freeliterature.org (From images generously made +available by the Internet Archive) + + + + + +THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA + +or + +POSITIVISM ON AN ISLAND + +BY + +W.H. MALLOCK + +AUTHOR OF 'THE NEW REPUBLIC' ETC. + + +LONDON + +CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY + +1890 + + + + +_'Pessimism as to the essential dignity of man is one of the surest +marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a celestial glory.'_ + + Mr Frederic Harrison + + + + +'Those who can read the signs of the times read in them +that the kingdom of man is at hand'--Professor CLIFFORD + +Thou art smitten, o God, thou art smitten; thy curse is + upon thee, O Lord! +And the love song of earth as thou diest, resounds through + the wind of its wings, +Glory to man in the highest, for man is the master of + things + _Songs before Sunrise_ + + + + +CONTENTS. + + Chapter I. + Chapter II. + Chapter III. + Chapter IV. + Chapter V. + Chapter VI. + Chapter VII. + Chapter VIII. + Chapter IX. + Chapter X. + Chapter XI. + Chapter XII. + Chapter XIII. + Chapter XIV. + Chapter XV. + Chapter XVI. + Chapter XVII. + Chapter XVIII. + + Notes + + + +_THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA._ + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +The magnificent ocean-steamer the _Australasian_ was bound for England, +on her homeward voyage from Melbourne, carrying Her Majesty's mails and +ninety-eight first-class passengers. Never did vessel start under +happier auspices. The skies were cloudless; the sea was smooth as glass. +There was not a sound of sickness to be heard anywhere; and when +dinner-time came there was not a single absentee nor an appetite +wanting. + +But the passengers soon discovered they were lucky in more than weather. +Dinner was hardly half over before two of the company had begun to +attract general attention; and every one all round the table was +wondering, in whispers, who they could possibly be. + +One of the objects of this delightful curiosity was a large-boned, +middle-aged man, with gleaming spectacles, and lank, untidy hair; whose +coat fitted him so ill, and who held his head so high, that one saw at a +glance he was some great celebrity. The other was a beautiful lady of +about thirty years of age, the like of whom nobody present had ever seen +before. She had the fairest hair and the darkest eyebrows, the largest +eyes and the smallest waist conceivable; art and nature had been plainly +struggling as to which should do the most for her; whilst her bearing +was so haughty and distinguished, her glance so tender, and her dress so +expensive and so fascinating, that she seemed at the same time to defy +and to court attention. + +Evening fell on the ship with a soft warm witchery. The air grew purple, +and the waves began to glitter in the moonlight. The passengers gathered +in knots upon the deck, and the distinguished strangers were still the +subject of conjecture. At last the secret was discovered by the wife of +an old colonial judge; and the news spread like wildfire. In a few +minutes all knew that there were on board the _Australasian_ no less +personages than Professor Paul Darnley and the superb Virginia St. +John. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +Miss St. John had, for at least six years, been the most renowned woman +in Europe. In Paris and St. Petersburg, no less than in London, her name +was equally familiar both to princes and to pot-boys; indeed, the gaze +of all the world was fixed on her. Yet, in spite of this exposed +situation, scandal had proved powerless to wrong her; she defied +detraction. Her enemies could but echo her friends' praise of her +beauty; her friends could but confirm her enemies' description of her +character. Though of birth that might almost be called humble, she had +been connected with the heads of many distinguished families; and so +general was the affection she inspired, and so winning the ways in which +she contrived to retain it, that she found herself, at the age of +thirty, mistress of nothing except a large fortune. She was now +converted with surprising rapidity by a Ritualistic priest, and she +became in a few months a model of piety and devotion. She made lace +trimmings for the curate's vestments; she bowed at church as often and +profoundly as possible; she enjoyed nothing so much as going to +confession; she learnt to despise the world. Indeed, such utter dross +did her riches now seem to her, that, despite all the arguments of her +ghostly counsellor, she remained convinced that they were far too +worthless to offer to the Church, and she saw nothing for it but to +still keep them for herself. The mingled humility and discretion of this +resolve so won the heart of a gifted colonial bishop, then on a visit to +England, that, having first assured himself that Miss St. John was +sincere in making it, he besought her to share with him his humble +mitre, and make him the happiest prelate in the whole Catholic Church. +Miss St. John consented. The nuptials were celebrated with the most +elaborate ritual, and after a short honeymoon the bishop departed for +his South Pacific diocese of the Chasuble Islands, to prepare a home for +his bride, who was to follow him by the next steamer. + +Professor Paul Darnley, in his own walk of life, was even more famous +than Virginia had been in hers. He had written three volumes on the +origin of life, which he had spent seven years in looking for in +infusions of hay and cheese; he had written five volumes on the entozoa +of the pig, and two volumes of lectures, as a corollary to these, on the +sublimity of human heroism and the whole duty of man. He was renowned +all over Europe and America as a complete embodiment of enlightened +modern thought. He criticised everything; he took nothing on trust, +except the unspeakable sublimity of the human race and its august +terrestrial destinies. And, in his double capacity of a seer and a +_savant_, he had destroyed all that the world had believed in the past, +and revealed to it all that it is going to feel in the future. His mind +indeed was like a sea, into which the other great minds of the age +discharged themselves, and in which all the slight discrepancies of the +philosophy of the present century mingled together and formed one +harmonious whole. Nor was he less successful in his own private life. +He married, at the age of forty, an excellent evangelical lady, ten +years his senior, who wore a green gown, grey corkscrew curls, and who +had a fortune of two hundred thousand pounds. Deeply pledged though she +was to the most vapid figments of Christianity, Mrs. Darnley was yet +proud beyond measure of her husband's worldwide fame, for she did but +imperfectly understand the grounds of it. Indeed, the only thing that +marred her happiness was the single tenet of his that she had really +mastered. This, unluckily, was that he disbelieved in hell. And so, as +Mrs. Darnley conceived that that place was designed mainly to hold those +who doubted its existence, she daily talked her utmost and left no text +unturned to convince her darling of his very dangerous error. These +assiduous arguments soon began to tell. The Professor grew moody and +brooding, and he at last suggested to his medical man that a voyage +round the world, unaccompanied by his wife, was the prescription most +needed by his failing patience. Mrs. Darnley at length consented with a +fairly good grace. She made her husband pledge himself that he would not +be absent for above a twelvemonth, or else, she said, she should +immediately come after him. She bade him the tenderest of adieus, and +promised to pray till his return for his recovery of a faith in hell. + +The Professor, who had but exceeded his time by six months, was now on +board the _Australasian_, homeward bound to his wife. Virginia was +outward bound to her husband. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +The sensation created by the presence of these two celebrities was +profound beyond description; and the passengers were never weary of +watching the gleaming spectacles and the square-toed boots of the one, +and the liquid eyes and the ravishing toilettes of the other. Virginia's +acquaintance was made almost instantly by three pale-faced curates, and +so well did their friendship prosper, that they soon sang at nightfall +with her a beautiful vesper hymn. Nor did the matter end here, for the +strains sounded so lovely, and Virginia looked so devotional, that most +of the passengers the night after joined in a repetition of this +touching evening office. + +The Professor, as was natural, held quite aloof, and pondered over a new +species of bug, which he had found very plentiful in his berth. But it +soon occurred to him that he often heard the name of God being uttered +otherwise than in swearing. He listened more attentively to the sounds +which he had at first set down as negro-melodies, and he soon became +convinced that they were something whose very existence he despised +himself for remembering--namely, Christian hymns. He then thought of the +three curates, whose existence he despised himself for remembering also. +And the conviction rapidly dawned on him that, though the passengers +seemed fully alive to his fame as a man of science, they could yet know +very little of all that science had done for them; and of the death-blow +it had given to the foul superstitions of the past. He therefore +resolved that next day he would preach them a lay-sermon. + +At the appointed time the passengers gathered eagerly round him--all but +Virginia, who retired to her cabin when she saw that the preacher wore +no surplice, as she thought it would be a mortal sin to listen to a +sermon without one. + +The Professor began amidst a profound silence. He first proclaimed to +his hearers the great primary axiom on which all modern thought bases +itself. He told them that there was but one order of things--it was so +much neater than two; and if we would be certain of anything, we must +never doubt this. Thus, since countless things exist that the senses +_can_ take account of, it is evident that nothing exists that the senses +can _not_ take account of. The senses can take no account of God; +therefore God does not exist. Men of science can only see theology in a +ridiculous light, therefore theology has no side that is not ridiculous. +He then told them a few of the names that enlightened thinkers had +applied to the Christian deity--how Professor Tyndall had called him an +'atom-manufacturer,' and Professor Huxley a 'pedantic drill-sergeant'. +The passengers at once saw how demonstrably at variance with fact was +all religion, and they laughed with a sense of humour that was quite new +to them. The Professor's tones then became more solemn, and, having +extinguished error, he at once went on to unveil the brilliant light of +truth. He showed them how, viewed by modern science, all existence is a +chain, with a gas at one end and no one knows what at the other; and how +Humanity is a link somewhere; but--holy and awful thought!--we can none +of us tell where. 'However,' he proceeded, 'of one thing we can be quite +certain; all that is, is matter; the laws of matter are eternal, and we +cannot act or think without conforming to them; and if,' he said, 'we +would be solemn and high, and happy, and heroic, and saintly, we have +but to strive and struggle to do what we cannot for an instant avoid +doing. Yes,' he exclaimed, 'as the sublime Tyndall tells us, let us +struggle to attain to a deeper knowledge of matter, and a more faithful +conformity to its laws!' + +The Professor would have proceeded, but the weather had been rapidly +growing rough, and he here became violently sea-sick. + +'Let us,' he exclaimed hurriedly, 'conform to the laws of matter and go +below.' + +Nor was the advice premature. A storm arose, exceptional in its +suddenness and its fury. It raged for two days without ceasing. The +_Australasian_ sprang a leak; her steering gear was disabled; and it was +feared she would go ashore on an island that was seen dimly through the +fog to the leeward. The boats were got in readiness. A quantity of +provisions and of the passengers' baggage was already stowed in the +cutter; when the clouds parted, the sun came out again, and the storm +subsided almost as quickly as it rose. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +No sooner were the ship's damages in a fair way to be repaired than the +Professor resumed his sermon. He climbed into the cutter, which was +still full of the passengers' baggage, and sat down on the largest of +Virginia's boxes. This so alarmed Virginia that she incontinently +followed the Professor into the cutter, to keep an eye on her property; +but she did not forget to stop her ears with her fingers, that she +might not be guilty of listening to an unsurpliced minister. + +The Professor took up the thread of his discourse just where he had +broken it off. Every circumstance favoured him. The calm sea was +sparkling under the gentlest breeze; all Nature seemed suffused with +gladness; and at two miles' distance was an enchanting island, green +with every kind of foliage, and glowing with the hues of a thousand +flowers. The Professor, having reminded his hearers of what nonsense +they now thought all the Christian teachings, went on to show them the +blessed results of this. Since the God that we once called all-holy is +a fable, that Humanity is all-holy must be a fact. Since we shall never +be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy hereafter, it is evident +that we can be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy here. 'This,' +said the Professor, 'is the new Gospel. It is founded on exact thought. +It is the Gospel of the kingdom of man; and had I only here a microscope +and a few chemicals, I could demonstrate its eternal truth to you. There +is no heaven to seek for; there is no hell to shun. We have nothing to +strive and live for except to be unspeakably happy.' + +This eloquence was received with enthusiasm. The captain in particular, +who had a wife in every port he touched at, was overjoyed at hearing +that there was no hell; and he sent for all the crew, that they might +learn the good news likewise. But soon the general gladness was marred +by a sound of weeping. Three-fourths of the passengers, having had time +to reflect a little, began exclaiming that as a matter of fact they were +really completely miserable, and that for various reasons they could +never be anything else. 'My friends,' said the Professor, quite +undaunted, 'that is doubtless completely true. You are not happy now; +you probably never will be. But that, I can assure you, is of very +little moment. Only conform faithfully to the laws of matter, and your +children's children will be happy in the course of a few centuries; and +you will like that far, far better than being happy yourselves. Only +consider the matter in this light, and you yourselves will in an instant +become happy also; and whatever you say, and whatever you do, think only +of the effect it will have five hundred years afterwards.' + +At these solemn words, the anxious faces grew calm. An awful sense of +the responsibility of each one of us, and the infinite consequences of +every human act, was filling the hearts of all; when by a faithful +conformity to the laws of matter, the boiler blew up, and the +_Australasian_ went down. In an instant the air was rent with yells and +cries; and all the Humanity that was on board the vessel was busy, as +the Professor expressed it, uniting itself with the infinite azure of +the past. Paul and Virginia, however, floated quietly away in the +cutter, together with the baggage and provisions. + +Virginia was made almost senseless by the suddenness of the catastrophe; +and on seeing five sailors sink within three yards of her, she fainted +dead away. The Professor begged her not to take it so much to heart, as +these were the very men who had got the cutter in readiness; 'and they +are, therefore,' he said, 'still really alive in the fact of our happy +escape.' Virginia, however, being quite insensible, the Professor turned +to the last human being still to be seen above the waters, and shouted +to him not to be afraid of death, as there was certainly no hell, and +that his life, no matter how degraded and miserable, had been a glorious +mystery, full of infinite significance. The next moment the struggler +was snapped up by a shark. Our friends, meanwhile, borne by a current, +had been drifting rapidly towards the island. And the Professor, +spreading to the breeze Virginia's beautiful lace parasol, soon brought +the cutter to the shore on a beach of the softest sand. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +The scene that met Paul's eyes was one of extreme loveliness. He found +himself in a little fairy bay, full of translucent waters, and fringed +with silvery sands. On either side it was protected by fantastic rocks, +and in the middle it opened inland to an enchanting valley, where tall +tropical trees made a grateful shade, and where the ground was carpeted +with the softest moss and turf. + +Paul's first care was for his fair companion. He spread a costly +cashmere shawl on the beach, and placed her, still fainting, on this. In +a few moments she opened her eyes; but was on the point of fainting +again as the horrors of the last half-hour came back to her, when she +caught sight in the cutter of the largest of her own boxes, and she +began to recover herself. Paul begged her to remain quiet whilst he went +to reconnoitre. + +He had hardly proceeded twenty yards into the valley, when to his +infinite astonishment he came on a charming cottage, built under the +shadow of a bread-tree, with a broad verandah, plate-glass windows, and +red window-blinds. His first thought was that this could be no desert +island at all, but some happy European settlement. But, on approaching +the cottage, it proved to be quite untenanted, and from the cobwebs +woven across the doorway it seemed to have been long abandoned. Inside +there was abundance of luxurious furniture; the floors were covered with +gorgeous Indian carpets; and there was a pantry well stocked with plate +and glass and table-linen. The Professor could not tell what to make of +it, till, examining the structure more closely, he found it composed +mainly of a ship's timbers. This seemed to tell its own tale, and he at +once concluded that he and Virginia were not the first castaways who had +been forced to make the island for some time their dwelling-place. + +Overjoyed at this discovery, he hastened back to Virginia. She was by +this time apparently quite recovered, and was kneeling on the cashmere +shawl, with a rosary in her hands designed especially for the use of +Anglo-Catholics, alternately lifting up her eyes in gratitude to heaven, +and casting them down in anguish at her torn and crumpled dress. The +poor Professor was horrified at the sight of a human being in this +degrading attitude of superstition. But as Virginia quitted it with +alacrity as soon as ever he told his news to her, he hoped he might soon +convert her into a sublime and holy Utilitarian. + +The first thing she besought him to do was to carry her biggest box to +this charming cottage, that she might change her clothes, and appear in +something fit to be seen in. The Professor most obligingly at once did +as she asked him; and whilst she was busy at her toilette, he got from +the cutter what provisions he could, and proceeded to lay the table. +When all was ready, he rang a gong which he found suspended in the +lobby; Virginia appeared shortly in a beautiful pink dressing-gown, +embroidered with silver flowers; and just before sunset the two sat down +to a really excellent meal. The bread tree at the door of the cottage +contributed some beautiful French rolls; close at hand also they +discovered a butter-tree; and the Professor had produced from the cutter +a variety of salt and potted meats, _paté de foie gras_, cakes, +preserved fruits, and some bottles of fine champagne. This last helped +much to raise their spirits. Virginia found it very dry, and exactly +suited to her palate. She had but drunk five glasses of it, when her +natural smile returned to her, though she was much disappointed, +because Paul took no notice of her dressing-gown, and when she had drunk +three glasses more she quietly went to sleep on the sofa. + +The moon had by this time risen in dazzling splendour, and the Professor +went out and lighted a cigar. All during dinner there had been a feeling +of dull despair in his heart, which even the champagne did not +dissipate. But now, as he surveyed in the moonlight the wondrous +Paradise in which his strange fate had cast him, his mood changed. The +air was full of the scents of a thousand night-smelling flowers; the sea +murmured on the beach in soft, voluptuous cadences. The Professor's +cigar was excellent. He now saw his situation in a truer light. Here was +a bountiful island, where earth unbidden brought forth all her choicest +fruits, and most of the luxuries of civilisation had already been wafted +thither. Existence here seemed to be purified from all its evils. Was +not this the very condition of things which all the sublimest and +exactest thinkers of modern times had been dreaming and lecturing and +writing books about for a good half-century? Here was a place where +Humanity could do justice to itself, and realise those glorious +destinies which all exact thinkers take for granted must be in store for +it. True, from the mass of Humanity he was completely cut away; but +Virginia was his companion. Holiness, and solemnity, and unspeakably +significant happiness did not, he argued, depend on the multiplication +table. He and Virginia represented Humanity as well as a million +couples. They were a complete humanity in themselves, and humanity in a +perfectible shape; and the very next day they would make preparations +for fulfilling their holy destiny, and being as solemnly and unspeakably +happy as it was their stern duty to be. + +The Professor turned his eyes upwards to the starry heavens, and a sense +came over him of the eternity and the immensity of Nature, and the +demonstrable absence of any intelligence that guided, it. These +reflections naturally brought home to him with more vividness the +stupendous and boundless importance of Man. His bosom swelled violently, +and he cried aloud, his eyes still fixed on the firmament, 'Oh, +important All! oh, important Me!' + +When he came back to the cottage he found Virginia just getting off the +sofa, and preparing to go to bed. She was too sleepy even to say +good-night to him, and with evident want of temper was tugging at the +buttons of her dressing-gown. 'Ah!' she murmured as she left the room, +'if God, in His infinite mercy, had only spared my maid!' + +Virginia's evident discontent gave profound pain to Paul. 'How solemn,' +he exclaimed, 'for half Humanity to be discontented!' But he was still +more disturbed at the appeal to a chimerical manufacturer of atoms; and +he groaned in tones of yet more sonorous sorrow, 'How solemn for half +Humanity to be sunk lower than the beasts by superstition!' + +However, he hoped that these stupendous evils might, under the present +favourable conditions, vanish in the course of a few days' progress; and +he went to bed, full of august auguries. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +Next morning he was up betimes; and the prospects of Humanity looked +more glorious than ever. He gathered some of the finest pats from the +butter-tree, and some fresh French rolls from the bread-tree. He +discovered a cow close at hand, that allowed him at once to milk it; and +a little roast pig ran up to him out of the underwood, and fawning on +him with its trotters, said, 'Come, eat me.' + +The Professor vivisected it before Virginia's door, that its automatic +noise, which the vulgar call cries of pain, might awaken her; and he +then set it in a hot dish on the table. + +'It has come! it has come!' he shouted, rapturously, as Virginia entered +the room, this time in a blue silk dressing-gown, embroidered with +flowers of gold. + +'What has come?' said Virginia, pettishly, for she was suffering from a +terrible headache, and the Professor's loud voice annoyed her. 'You +don't mean to say that we are rescued, are we?' + +'Yes,' answered Paul, solemnly; 'we are rescued. We are rescued from all +the pains and imperfections of a world that has not learnt how to +conform to the laws of matter, and is but imperfectly acquainted with +the science of sociology. It is therefore inevitable that, the evils of +existence being thus removed, we shall both be solemnly, stupendously, +and unspeakably happy.' + +'Nonsense!' said Virginia, snappishly, who thought the Professor was +joking. + +'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor, 'It is deducible from the +teachings of John Stuart Mill, of Auguste Comte, of Mr. Frederic +Harrison, and of all the exact thinkers who have cast off superstition, +and who adore Humanity.' + +Virginia meanwhile ate _paté de foie gras_, of which she was +passionately fond; and, growing a little less sullen, she at last +admitted that they were lucky in having at least the necessaries of life +left to them. 'But as for happiness--there is nothing to do here, there +is no church to go to, and you don't seem to care a bit for my +dressing-gown. What have we got to make us happy?' + +'Humanity,' replied the Professor eagerly,--'Humanity, that divine +entity, which is necessarily capable of everything that is fine and +invaluable, and is the object of indescribable emotion to all exact +thinkers. And what is Humanity?' he went on more earnestly; 'you and I +are Humanity--you and I are that august existence. You already are all +the world to me; and I very soon shall be all the world to you. Adored +being, it will be my mission and my glory to compel you to live for me. +And then, as modern philosophy can demonstrate, we shall both of us be +significantly and unspeakably happy.' + +For a few moments Virginia merely stared at Paul. Suddenly she turned +quite pale, her lips quivered, and exclaiming, 'How dare you!--and I, +too, the wife of a bishop!' she left the room in hysterics. + +The Professor could make nothing of this. Though he had dissected many +dead women, he knew very little of the hearts of live ones. A sense of +shyness overpowered him, and he felt embarrassed, he could not tell +why, at being thus left alone with Virginia. He lit a cigar and went +out. Here was a to-do indeed, he thought. How would progress be possible +if one half of Humanity misunderstood the other? + +He was thus musing, when suddenly a voice startled him; and in another +moment a man came rushing up to him, with every demonstration of joy. + +'Oh, my dear master! oh, emancipator of the human intellect! and is it +indeed you? Thank God!----I beg pardon for my unspeakable blasphemy--I +mean, thank circumstances over which I have no control.' + +It was one of the three curates, whom Paul had supposed drowned, but who +now related how he had managed to swim ashore, despite the extreme +length of his black clerical coat. 'These rags of superstition,' he +said, 'did their best to drown me. But I survive in spite of them, to +covet truth and to reject error. Thanks to your glorious teaching,' he +went on, looking reverentially into the Professor's face, 'the very +notion of an Almighty Father makes me laugh consumedly, it is so absurd +and so immoral. Science, through your instrumentality, has opened my +eyes. I am now an exact thinker.' + +'Do you believe, said Paul, 'in solemn, significant, and unspeakably +happy Humanity? + +'I do,' said the curate, fervently. 'Whenever I think of Humanity, I +groan and moan to myself out of sheer solemnity.' + +'Then two thirds of Humanity,' said the Professor, 'are thoroughly +enlightened. Progress will now go on smoothly.' + +At this moment Virginia came out, having rapidly recovered composure at +the sound of a new man's voice. + +'You here--you, too!' exclaimed the curate. 'How solemn, how +significant! This is truly Providential----I mean this has truly +happened through conformity to the laws of matter.' + +'Well,' said Virginia, 'since we have a clergyman amongst us, we shall +perhaps be able to get on.' + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +Things now took a better turn. The Professor ceased to feel shy; and +proposed, when the curate had finished an enormous breakfast, that they +should go down to the cutter, and bring up the things in it to the +cottage. 'A few hours' steady progress,' he said, 'and the human race +will command all the luxuries of civilisation--the glorious fruits of +centuries of onward labour.' + +The three spent a very busy morning in examining and unpacking the +luggage. The Professor found his favourite collection of modern +philosophers; Virginia found a large box of knick-knacks, with which to +adorn the cottage; and there was, too, an immense store of wine and of +choice provisions. + +'It is rather sad,' sighed Virginia, as she dived into a box of French +chocolate-creams, 'to think that all the poor people are drowned that +these things belonged to.' + +'They are not dead,' said the Professor: 'they still live on this holy +and stupendous earth. They live in the use we are making of all they had +got together. The owner of those chocolate-creams is immortal because +you are eating them.' + +Virginia licked her lips and said, 'Nonsense!' + +'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor. 'It is the religion of +Humanity.' + +All day they were busy, and the time passed pleasantly enough. Wines, +provisions, books, and china ornaments were carried up to the cottage +and bestowed in proper places. Virginia filled the glasses in the +drawing-room with gorgeous leaves and flowers and declared by the +evening, as she looked round her, that she could almost fancy herself in +St. John's Wood. + +'See, said the Professor, 'how rapid is the progress of material +civilisation! Humanity is now entering on the fruits of ages. Before +long it will be in a position to be unspeakably happy.' + +Virginia retired to bed early. The Professor took the curate out with +him to look at the stars; and promised to lend him some writings of the +modern philosophers, which would make him more perfect in the new view +of things. They said good-night, murmuring together that there was +certainly no God, that Humanity was very important, and that everything +was very solemn. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +Next morning the curate began studying a number of essays that the +Professor lent him, all written by exact thinkers, who disbelieved in +God, and thought Humanity adorable, and most important. Virginia lay on +the sofa, and sighed over one of Miss Broughton's novels; and it +occurred to the Professor that the island was just the place where, if +anywhere, the missing link might be found. + +'Ah!' he exclaimed; 'all is still progress. Material progress came to an +end yesterday. Mental progress has begun to-day. One third of Humanity +is cultivating sentiment; another third is learning to covet truth. I, +the remaining and most enlightened third, will go and seek it. Glorious, +solemn Humanity! I will go and look about for its arboreal ancestor.' + +Every step the Professor took he found the island more beautiful. But he +came back to luncheon, having been unsuccessful in his search. Events +had marched quickly in his absence. Virginia was at the beginning of her +third volume; and the curate had skimmed over so many essays, that he +professed himself able to give a thorough account of the want of faith +that was in him. + +After luncheon the three sat together in easy chairs, in the verandah, +sometimes talking, sometimes falling into a half-doze. They all agreed +that they were wonderfully comfortable, and the Professor said-- + +'All Humanity is now at rest, and in utter peace. It is just taking +breath, before it becomes unspeakably and significantly happy.' + +He would have said more, but he was here startled by a piteous noise of +crying, and the three found themselves confronted by an old woman +dripping with sea-water, and with an expression on her face of the +utmost misery. They soon recognised her as one of the passengers on the +ship. She told them how she had been floated ashore on a spar, and how +she had been sustained by a little roast pig, that kindly begged her to +eat it, having first lain in her bosom to restore her to warmth. She was +now looking for her son. + +'And if I cannot find him,' said the old woman, 'I shall never smile +again. He has half broken my heart,' she went on, 'by his wicked ways. +But if I thought he was dead--dead in the midst of his sins--it would be +broken altogether; for in that case he must certainly be in hell.' + +'Old woman,' said the Professor, very slowly and solemnly, 'be +comforted. I announce to you that your son is alive.' + +'Oh, bless you, sir, for that word!' cried the old woman. 'But where is +he? Have you seen him? Are you sure that he is living?' + +'I am sure of it,' said the Professor, 'because enlightened thought +shows me that he cannot be anything else. It is true that I saw him sink +for a third time in the sea, and that he was then snapped up by a shark. +But he is as much alive as ever in his posthumous activities. He has +made you wretched after him; and that is his future life. Become an +exact thinker, and you will see that this is so. Old woman,' added the +Professor solemnly, 'old woman, listen to me--_You and your son are in +hell._' + +At this the old woman flew into a terrible rage. + +'In hell, sir!' she exclaimed; 'me in hell!--a poor lone woman like me! +How dare you!' And she sank back in a chair and fainted. + +'Alas!' said the Professor, 'thus is misery again introduced into the +world. A fourth part of Humanity is now miserable.' + +The curate answered promptly that if no restoratives were given her, +she would probably die in a few minutes. 'And to let her die,' he said, +'is clearly our solemn duty. It will be for the greatest happiness of +the greatest number.' + +'No,' said the Professor; 'for our sense of pity would then be wounded, +and the happiness of all of us would be marred by that.' + +'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'but exact thought shows me that pity for +others is but the imagining of their misfortune falling on ourselves. +Now, we can none of us imagine ourselves exactly in the old woman's +case; therefore it is quite impossible that we can pity her.' + +'But,' said the Professor, 'such an act would violate our ideas of +justice.' + +'You are wrong again,' said the curate, 'for exact thought shows me that +the love of justice is nothing but the fear of suffering injustice. If +we were to kill strong men, we might naturally fear that strong men +would kill us. But whatever we do to fainting old women, we cannot +expect that fainting old women will do anything to us in return.' + +'Your reasoning cannot be sound,' said the Professor, 'for it would lead +to the most horrible conclusions. I will solve the difficulty better. I +will make the old woman happy, and therefore fit to live. Old woman,' he +exclaimed, 'let me beg you to consider this. You are yourself by your +own unhappiness expiating your son's sins. Do but think of that, and you +will become unspeakably happy.' + +Meanwhile, however, the old woman had died. When the Professor +discovered this he was somewhat shocked; but at length with a sudden +change of countenance, 'We neither of us did it,' he exclaimed; 'her +death is no act of ours. It is part of the eternal not-ourselves that +makes for righteousness--righteousness, which is, as we all know, but +another name for happiness. Let us adore the event with reverence.' + +'Yes,' said the curate, 'we are well rid of her. She was an immoral old +woman, for happiness is the test of morality, and she was very unhappy.' + +'On the contrary,' said the Professor, 'she was a moral old woman; for +she has made us happy by dying so very opportunely. Let us speak well of +the dead. Her death has been a holy and a blessed one. She has conformed +to the laws of matter. Thus is unhappiness destined to fade out of the +world. Quick! let us tie a bag of shot to all the sorrow and evil of +Humanity, which, after all, is only a fourth part of it, and let us sink +her in the bay close at hand, that she may catch lobsters for us.' + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +At last,' said the Professor, as they began dinner that evening, 'the +fulness of time has come. All the evils of Humanity are removed, and +progress has come to an end because it can go no further. We have +nothing now to do but to be unspeakably and significantly happy.' + +The champagne flowed freely. Our friends ate and drank of the best, +their spirits rose, and Virginia admitted that this was really 'jolly.' +The sense of the word pleased the Professor, but its sound seemed below +the gravity of the occasion; so he begged her to say 'sublime' instead. +'We can make it mean,' he said, 'just the same, but we prefer it for the +sake of its associations.' + +It soon, however, occurred to him that eating and drinking were hardly +delights sufficient to justify the highest state of human emotion, and +he began to fear he had been feeling sublime prematurely; but in another +moment he recollected he was an altruist, and that the secret of their +happiness was not that any one of them was happy, but that they each +knew the others were. + +'Yes, my dear curate,' said the Professor, 'what I am enjoying is the +champagne that you drink, and what you are enjoying is the champagne +that I drink. This is altruism; this is benevolence; this is the sublime +outcome of enlightened modern thought. The pleasures of the table, in +themselves, are low and beastly ones; but if we each of us are only glad +because the others are enjoying them, they become holy and glorious +beyond description.' + +'They do,' cried the curate rapturously, 'indeed they do. I will drink +another bottle for your sake. It is sublime!' he said, as he tossed off +three glasses. 'It is significant!' he said as he finished three more. +'Tell me, my dear, do I look significant?' he added, as he turned to +Virginia, and suddenly tried, to crown the general bliss by kissing her. + +Virginia started back, looking fire and fury at him. The Professor was +completely astounded by an occurrence so unnatural, and exclaimed in a +voice of thunder, 'Morality, sir--remember morality! How dare you upset +that which Professor Huxley tells us must be for ever strong enough to +hold its own?' + +But the last glass of champagne had put the curate beyond the reach of +exact thought. He tumbled under the table, and the Professor carried him +off to bed. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +The Professor, like most serious thinkers, knew but little of that +trifle commonly called 'the world.' He had never kissed any one except +his wife; even that he did as seldom as possible; and the curate lying +dead drunk was the first glimpse he had of what, _par excellence_, is +described as 'life.' But though the scene just recounted was thus a +terrible shock to him, in one way it gave him an unlooked-for comfort. +He had felt that even yet things were not quite as sublime as they +should be. He now saw the reason. 'Of course,' he said, 'existence +cannot be perfect so long as one third of Humanity makes a beast of +itself. A little more progress must be still necessary.' + +He hastened to explain this next morning to Virginia, and begged her not +to be alarmed at the curate's scandalous conduct. 'Immorality,' he said, +'is but a want of success in attaining our own happiness. It is +evidently most immoral for the curate to be kissing you; and therefore +kissing you would not really conduce to his happiness. I will convince +him of this solemn truth in a very few moments. Then the essential +dignity of human nature will become at once apparent, and we shall all +of us at last begin to be unspeakably happy.' + +The curate, however, altogether declined to be convinced. He maintained +stoutly that to kiss Virginia would be the greatest pleasure that +Humanity could offer him. 'And if it is immoral as well as pleasant,' he +added, 'I should like it all the better.' + +At this the Professor gave a terrible groan; he dropped almost fainting +into a chair; he hid his face in his hands; and murmured +half-articulately, 'Then I can't tell what to do!' In another instant, +however, he recovered himself; and fixing a dreadful look on the +curate, 'That last statement of yours,' he said, 'cannot be true; for if +it were, it would upset all my theories. It is a fact that can be proved +and verified, that if you kissed Virginia it would make you miserable.' + +'Pardon me,' said the curate, rapidly moving towards her, 'your notion +is a remnant of superstition; I will explode it by a practical +experiment.' + +The Professor caught hold of the curate's coat-tails, and forcibly +pulled him back into his seat. + +'If you dare attempt it,' he said, 'I will kick you soundly, and, +shocking, immoral man! you will feel miserable enough then.' + +The curate was a terrible coward, and very weak as well. 'You are a +great hulking fellow,' he said, eyeing the Professor; 'and I am of a +singularly delicate build. I must, therefore, conform to the laws of +matter, and give in.' He said this in a very sulky voice; and, going out +of the room, slammed the door after him. + +A radiant expression suffused the face of the Professor. 'See,' he said +to Virginia, 'the curate's conversion is already half accomplished. In a +few hours more he will be rational, he will be moral, he will be +solemnly and significantly happy.' + +The Professor talked like this to Virginia the whole morning; but in +spite of all his arguments, she declined to be comforted. 'It is all +very well,' she said, 'whilst you are in the way. But as soon as your +back is turned, I know he will be at me again.' + +'Will you never,' said Paul, by this time a little irritated, 'will you +never listen to exact thought? The curate is now reflecting; and a +little reflection must inevitably convince him that he does not really +care to kiss you, and that it would give him very little real pleasure +to do so.' + +'Stuff!' exclaimed Virginia, with a sudden vigour at which the Professor +was thunderstruck. 'I can tell you,' she went on, 'that better men than +he have borne kicks for my sake; and to kiss me is the only thing that +that little man cares about.--What _shall_ I do?' she exclaimed, +bursting into tears. 'Here is one of you insulting me by trying to kiss +me; and the other insulting me by saying that I am not worth being +kissed!' + +'Ah, me!' groaned the poor Professor in an agony, 'here is one third of +Humanity plunged in sorrow; and another third has not yet freed itself +from vice. When, when, I wonder, will the sublimity begin?' + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +At dinner, however, things wore a more promising aspect. The curate had +been so terrified by the Professor's threats, that he hardly dared to so +much as look at Virginia; and to make up for it, he drank and drank +champagne, till the strings of his tongue were loosed, and he was +laughing and chattering at a rate that was quite extraordinary. +Virginia, seeing herself thus neglected by the curate, began to fear +that, as Paul said, he really did not so much care to kiss her after +all. She, therefore, put on all her most enticing ways; she talked, +flirted, and smiled her best, and made her most effective eyes, that the +curate might see what a prize was for ever beyond his reach. + +This state of affairs seemed full of glorious promise. Virginia's tears +were dried, she had never looked so radiant and exquisite before. The +curate had foregone every attempt to kiss Virginia, and yet apparently +he was happiness itself; and Paul took him aside, as soon as the meal +was over, to congratulate him on the holy state to which exact thought +had conducted him. 'You see,' Paul said, 'what a natural growth the +loftiest morality is. Virginia doesn't want to be kissed by you. I +should be shocked at your doing so shocking a thing as kissing her. If +you kissed her, you would make both of us miserable; and, as a necessary +consequence, you would be in an agony likewise; in addition to which, I +should inevitably kick you.' + +'But,' said the curate, 'suppose I kissed Virginia on the sly,--I merely +put this as an hypothesis, remember,--and that in a little while she +liked it, what then? She and I would both be happy, and you ought to be +happy too, because we were.' + +'Idiot!' said the Professor. 'Virginia is another man's wife. Nobody +really likes kissing another man's wife; nor do wives ever like kissing +any one except their husbands. What they really like is what Professor +Huxley calls "the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good," +which, as he says, exact thought shows us is the true end of existence. +But, pooh! what is the use of all this talking? You know which way your +higher nature calls you; and, of course, unless men believe in God, they +cannot help obeying their higher nature.' + +'I,' said the curate, 'think the belief in God a degrading superstition; +I think every one an imbecile who believes a miracle possible. And yet +I do not care two straws about the highest good. What you call my lower +nature is far the strongest; I mean to follow it to the best of my +ability; and I prefer calling it my higher, for the sake of the +associations.' + +This plunged the Professor in deeper grief than ever. He knew not what +to do. He paced up and down the verandah, or about the rooms, and moaned +and groaned as if he had a violent toothache. Virginia and the curate +asked what was amiss with him. 'I am agonising,' he said, 'for the sake +of holy, solemn, unspeakably dignified Humanity.' + +The curate, seeing the Professor thus dejected, by degrees took heart +again, and as Virginia still continued her fascinating behaviour to him, +he resolved to try and prove to her that, the test of morality being +happiness, the most moral thing she could do would be to allow him to +kiss her. No sooner had he begun to propound these views, than the +Professor gave over his groaning, seized the curate by the collar, and +dragged him out of the room with a roughness that nearly throttled him. + +'I was but propounding a theory--an opinion,' gasped the curate. 'Surely +thought is free. You will not persecute me for my opinions?' + +'It is not for your opinions,' said the Professor, 'but for the +horrible effect they might have. Opinions,' he roared, 'can only be +tolerated which have no possible consequences. You may promulgate any of +those as much as you like; because to do that would be a self-regarding +action.' + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +'Well,' said the curate, 'if I may not kiss Virginia, I will drink +brandy instead. That will make me happy enough; and then we shall all be +radiant.' + +He soon put his resolve into practice. He got a bottle of brandy, he sat +himself down under a palm-tree, and told the Professor he was going to +make an afternoon of it. + +'Foolish man!' said the Professor; 'I was never drunk myself, it is +true; but I know that to get drunk makes one's head ache horribly. To +get drunk is, therefore, horribly immoral; and therefore I cannot permit +it.' + +'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'it is a self-regarding action. Nobody's +head will ache but mine; so that is my own look-out. I have been +expelled from school, from college, and from my first curacy for +drinking. So I know well enough the balance of pains and pleasures.' + +Here he pulled out his brandy bottle, and applied his lips to it. + +'Oh, Humanity!' he exclaimed, 'how solemn this brandy tastes!' + +Matters went on like this for several days. The curate was too much +frightened to again approach Virginia. Virginia at last became convinced +that he did not care about kissing her. Her vanity was wounded, and she +became sullen; and this made the Professor sullen also. In fact, two +thirds of Humanity were overcast with gloom. The only happy section of +it was the curate, who alternately smoked and drank all day long. + +'The nasty little beast!' said Virginia to the Professor, 'he is nearly +always drunk. I am beginning quite to like you, Paul, by comparison +with him. Let us turn him out, and not let him live in the cottage.' + +'No,' said the Professor; 'for he is one third of Humanity. You do not +properly appreciate the solidarity of mankind. His existence, however, I +admit is a great difficulty.' + +One day at dinner-time, shortly afterwards, Paul came in radiant. + +'Oh holy, oh happy event!' he exclaimed; 'all will go right at last.' + +Virginia inquired anxiously what had happened, and Paul informed her +that the curate, who had got more drunk than usual that afternoon, had +fallen over a cliff, and been dashed to pieces. + +'What event,' he asked, 'could be more charming more unspeakably holy? +It bears about it every mark of sanctity. It is for the greatest +happiness of the greatest number. Come,' he continued, 'let you and me +together, purged of sin, and purged of sorrow as we are--let us begin +our love-feast. Let us each seek the happiness of the other. Let us +instantly be sublime and happy.' + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +'The supreme moment is come,' said Paul solemnly, as they sat down to +dinner. 'Let us prepare ourselves for realising to the full the +essential dignity of Humanity--that _grand être_, which has come, in the +course of progress, to consist of you and me. Virginia, consider this. +Every condition of happiness that modern thinkers have dreamed of is now +fulfilled. We have but to seek each the happiness of the other, and we +shall both be in a solemn, a significant, and unspeakable state of +rapture. See, here is an exquisite leg of mutton. I,' said Paul, who +liked the fat best, 'I will give up all the fat to you.' + +'And I,' said Virginia, resignedly, 'will give up all the lean to you,' + +A few mouthfuls made Virginia feel sick. 'I confess,' said she, 'I can't +get on with this fat.' + +'I confess,' the Professor answered, 'I don't exactly like this lean.' + +'Then let us,' said Virginia, 'be like Jack Sprat and his wife.' + +'No,' said the Professor, meditatively, 'that is quite inadmissible. For +in that case we should be egoistic hedonists. However, for to-day it +shall be as you say. I will think of something better to-morrow.' + +Next day he and Virginia had a chicken apiece; only Virginia's was put +before Paul, and Paul's before Virginia; and they each walked round the +table to supply each other with the slightest necessaries. + +'Ah!' cried Paul, 'this is altruism indeed. I think already I can feel +the sublimity beginning.' + +Virginia liked this rather better. But soon she committed the sin of +taking for herself the liver of Paul's chicken. As soon as she had eaten +the whole of it her conscience began to smite her. She confessed her +sin to Paul, and inquired, with some anxiety, if he thought she would go +to hell for it? 'Metaphorically,' said Paul, 'you have already done so. +You are punished by the loss of the pleasure you would have had in +giving that liver to me, and also by your knowledge of my knowledge of +your folly in foregoing the pleasure.' + +Virginia was much relieved by this answer; she at once took several more +of the Professor's choicest bits, and was happy in the thought that her +sins were expiated in the very act of their commission, by the latent +pain she felt persuaded they were attended by. Feeling that this was +sufficient, she took care not to add Paul's disapproval to her +punishment, so she never told him again. + +For a short time this practice of altruism seemed to Virginia to have +many advantages. But though the Professor was always exclaiming, 'How +significant is human life by the very nature of its constitution!' she +very soon found it a trifle dull. Luckily, however, she hit upon a new +method of exercising morality, and, as the Professor fully admitted, of +giving it a yet more solemn significance. + +The Professor having by some accident lost his razors, his moustaches +had begun to grow profusely, and Virginia had watched them with a deep +but half-conscious admiration. At last, in a happy moment, she +exclaimed, 'Oh, Paul, do let me wax the ends for you,' Paul at first +giggled, blushed, and protested, but, as Virginia assured him it would +make her happy, he consented. 'Then,' she said, 'you will know that I am +happy, and that in return will make you happy also. Ah!' she exclaimed +when the operation was over, 'do go and examine yourself in the glass. I +declare you look exactly like Jack Barley--Barley-Sugar, as we used to +call him--of the Blues.' + +Virginia smiled; suddenly she blushed; the Professor blushed also. To +cover the blushes she begged to be allowed to do his hair. 'It will make +me so much happier, Paul,' she said. The Professor again assented, that +he might make Virginia happy, and that she might be happy in knowing +that he was happy in promoting her happiness. At last the Professor, shy +and awkward as he was, was emboldened to offer to do Virginia's hair in +return. She allowed him to arrange her fringe, and, as she found he did +no great harm to it, she let him repeat the operation as often as he +liked. + +A week thus passed, full, as the Professor said, of infinite solemnity. +'I admit, Paul,' sighed Virginia, 'that this altruism, as you call it, +is very touching. I like it very much. But,' she added, sinking her +voice to a whisper, 'are you quite sure, Paul, that it is perfectly +moral?' + +'Moral!' echoed the Professor, 'moral! Why, exact thought shows us that +it is the very essence of all morality!' + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +Matters now went on charmingly. All existence seemed to take a richer +colouring, and there was something, Paul said, which, in Professor +Tyndall's words, 'gave fulness and tone to it, but which he could +neither analyse nor comprehend.' But at last a change came. One morning, +whilst Virginia was arranging Paul's moustaches, she was frightened +almost into a fit by a sudden apparition at the window. It was a +hideous hairy figure, perfectly naked but for a band of silver which it +wore about its neck. For a moment it did nothing but grin and stare; +then, uttering a discordant scream, it flung into Virginia's lap a +filthy piece of carrion, and in an instant it had bounded away with an +almost miraculous activity. + +Virginia shrieked with disgust and terror, and clung to Paul's knees for +protection. He, however, in some strange way, seemed unmoved and +preoccupied. All at once, to her intense surprise, she saw his face +light up with an expression of triumphant eagerness. 'The missing link!' +he exclaimed, 'the missing link at last! Thank God.--I beg pardon for +my unspeakable blasphemy--I mean, thank circumstances over which I have +no control. I must this instant go out and hunt for it. Give me some +provisions in a knapsack, for I will not come back till I have caught +it.' + +This was a fearful blow to Virginia. She fell at Paul's feet weeping, +and besought him in piteous accents that he would not thus abandon her. + +'I must,' said the Professor solemnly, 'for I am going in pursuit of +Truth. To arrive at Truth is man's perfect and most rapturous happiness. +You must surely know that, even if I have forgotten to tell it to you. +To pursue truth--holy truth for holy truth's sake--is a more solemn +pleasure than even frizzling your hair.' + +'Oh,' cried. Virginia, hysterically, 'I don't care two straws for truth. +What on earth is the good of it?' + +'It is its own end,' said the Professor. 'It is its own exceeding great +reward. I must be off at once in search of it. Good-bye for the present. +Seek truth on your own account, and be unspeakably happy also, because +you know that I am seeking it.' + +The Professor remained away for three days. For the first two of them +Virginia was inconsolable. She wandered about mournfully with her head +dejected. She very often sighed; she very often uttered the name of +Paul. At last she surprised herself by exclaiming aloud to the +irresponsive solitude, 'Oh, Paul, until you were gone, I never knew how +passionately I loved you.' No sooner were these words out of her mouth +than she stood still, horror-stricken. 'Alas!' she cried, 'and have I +really come to this? I am in a state of deadly sin, and there is no +priest here to confess to! Alone, alone I must conquer my forbidden love +as I may. But, ah me, what a guilty thing I am!' + +As she uttered these words, her eyes fell on a tin box of the +Professor's, marked 'Private,' which he always kept carefully locked, +and which had before now excited her curiosity. Suddenly she became +conscious of a new impulse. 'I will pursue truth!' she exclaimed. 'I +will break that box open, and I will see what is inside it. Ah!' she +added, as with the aid of the poker she at last wrenched off the +padlock. 'Paul may be right, after all. There is more interest in the +pursuit of truth than I thought there was.' + +The box was full of papers, letters, and diaries, the greater part of +which were marked 'Strictly private.' Seeing this, Virginia's appetite +for truth became keener than ever. She instantly began her researches. +The more she read, the more eager she became; and the more private +appeared the nature of the documents, the more insatiable did her +thirst for truth grow. To her extreme surprise, she gathered that the +Professor had begun life as a clergyman. There were several photographs +of him in his surplice; and a number of devout prayers, apparently +composed by himself for his own personal use. This discovery was the +result of her labours. + +'Certainly,' she said, 'it is one of extreme significance. If Paul was a +priest once, he must be a priest now. Orders are indelible--at least in +the Church of England I know they are.' + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +Paul came back, to Virginia's extreme relief, without the missing link. +But he was still radiant in spite of his failure; for he had discovered, +he said, a place where the creature had apparently slept, and he had +collected in a card-paper box a large number of its parasites. + +'I am glad,' said Virginia, 'that you have not found the missing link: +though as to thinking that we really came from monkeys, of course that +is too absurd. Now if you could have brought me a nice monkey, I should +really have liked that. The Bishop has promised that I shall have a +darling one, if I ever reach him--ah me!--if----Paul,' continued +Virginia, in a very solemn voice, after a long pause, 'do you know that +whilst you have been away I have been pursuing truth? I rather liked it; +and I found it very, very significant.' + +'Oh, joy!' exclaimed the Professor. 'Oh, unspeakable radiance! Oh, holy, +oh essentially dignified Humanity! it will very soon be perfect! Tell +me, Virginia, what truths have you been discovering?' + +'One truth about you, Paul,' said Virginia, very gravely, 'and one +truth about me. I burn--oh, I burn to tell them to you!' + +The Professor was enraptured to hear that one half of Humanity had been +thus studying human nature; and he began asking Virginia if her +discoveries belonged to the domain of historical or biological science. +Meanwhile Virginia had flung herself on her knees before him, and was +exclaiming, in piteous accents-- + +'By my fault, by my own fault, by my very grievous fault, holy father, I +confess to you----' + +'Is the woman mad?' cried the Professor, starting up from his seat. + +'You are a priest, Paul,' said Virginia; 'that is one of the things I +have discovered. I am in a state of deadly sin; that is the other: and I +must and will confess to you. Once a priest, always a priest. You cannot +get rid of your orders, and you must and shall hear me.' + +'I was once in orders, it is true,' said Paul, reluctantly; 'but how did +you find out my miserable secret?' + +'In my zeal for truth,' said Virginia, 'I broke open your tin box; I +read all your letters; I looked at your early photographs; I saw all +your beautiful prayers.' + +'You broke open my box!' cried the Professor. 'You read my letters and +my private papers! Oh, horrible! oh, immoral! What shall we do if one +half of Humanity has no feeling of honour?' + +'Oh!' said Virginia, 'it was all for the love of truth--of solemn and +holy truth. I sacrificed every other feeling for that. But I have not +told you my truth yet; and I am determined you shall hear it, or I must +still remain in my sins. Paul, I am a married woman; and I discover, in +spite of that, that I have fallen in love with you. My husband, it is +true, is far away; and whatever we do, he could never possibly be the +wiser. But I am in a state of mortal sin, nevertheless; and I would +give anything in the world if you would only kiss me.' + +'Woman!' exclaimed Paul, aghast with fright and horror, 'do you dare to +abuse truth, by turning it to such base purposes?' + +'Oh, you are so clever,' Virginia went on, 'and when the ends of your +moustaches are waxed, you look positively handsome; and I love you so +deeply and so tenderly, that I shall certainly go to hell if you do not +give me absolution.' + +At this the Professor jumped up, and, staring very hard at Virginia, +asked her if, after all that he had said on the ship, she really +believed in such exploded fallacies as hell, God, and priestcraft. + +She reminded him that he had preached there without a surplice, and that +she had therefore not thought it right to listen to a word he said. + +'Ah!' cried the Professor, with a sigh of intense relief, 'I see it all +now. How can Humanity ever be unspeakably holy so long as one half of it +grovels in dreams of an unspeakably holy God? As Mr. Frederic Harrison +truly says, a want of faith in "the essential dignity of man is one of +the surest marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a +celestial glory."' The Professor accordingly re-delivered to Virginia +the entire substance of his lectures in the ship. He fully impressed on +her that all the intellect of the world was on the side of Humanity; and +that God's existence could be disproved with a box of chemicals. He was +agreeably surprised at finding her not at all unwilling to be convinced, +and extremely unexacting in her demands for proof. In a few days she had +not a remnant of superstition left. 'At last!' exclaimed the Professor; +'it has come at last. Unspeakable happiness will surely begin now.' + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + +No one now could possibly be more emancipated than Virginia. She +tittered all day long and whenever the Professor asked her why, she +always told him she was thinking of 'an intelligent First Cause,' a +conception which she said 'was really quite killing.' But when her first +burst of intellectual excitement was over, she became more serious. 'All +thought, Paul,' she said, 'is valuable mainly because it leads to +action. Come, my love, my dove, my beauty, and let us kiss each other +all daylong. Let us enjoy the charming license which exact thought shows +us we shall never be punished for.' + +This was a result of freedom that the Professor had never bargained for. +He could not understand it, 'because,' he argued, 'if people were to +reason in that way, morality would at once cease to be possible.' But he +had seen so much of the world lately, that he soon recovered himself, +and recollecting that immorality was only ignorance, he began to show +Virginia where her error lay---her one remaining error. 'I perceive,' he +said, 'that you are ignorant of one of the greatest triumphs of exact +thought--the distinction it has established between the lower and the +higher pleasures. Philosophers, who have thought the whole thing over in +their studies, have become sure that as soon as the latter are presented +to men they will at once leave all and follow them.' + +'They must be very nice pleasures,' said Virginia, 'if they would make +me leave kissing you for the sake of them.' + +'They _are_ nice,' said the Professor. 'They are the pleasures of the +imagination, the intellect, and the glorious apprehension of truth. +Compared with these, kissing me would be quite insipid. Remain here for +a moment, whilst I go to fetch something, and you shall then begin to +taste them.' + +In a few moments Paul came back again, and found Virginia in a state of +intense expectancy. + +'Now--,' he exclaimed triumphantly. + +'Now--,' exclaimed Virginia, with a beating heart. + +The Professor put his hand in his pocket, and drew slowly forth from it +an object which Virginia knew well. It reminded her of the most innocent +period of her life; but she hated the very sight of it none the less. It +was a Colenso's Arithmetic. + +'Come,' said the Professor, 'no truths are so pure and necessary as +those of mathematics; you shall at once begin the glorious apprehension +of them.' + +'Oh, Paul,' cried Virginia, in an agony, 'but I really don't care for +truth at all; and you know that when I broke your tin box open and read +your private letters in my search for it, you were very angry with me.' + +'Ah!' said Paul, holding up his finger, 'but those were not necessary +truths. Truths about human action and character are not necessary +truths; therefore men of science care nothing about them, and they have +no place in scientific systems of ethics. Pure truths are of a very +different character; and, however much you may misunderstand your own +inclinations, you can really care for nothing so much as doing a few +sums. I will set you some very easy ones to begin with, and you shall do +them by yourself, whilst I magnify in the next room the parasites of the +missing link.' + +Virginia saw that there was no help for it. She did her sums by herself +the whole morning, which, as at school she had been very good at +arithmetic, was not a hard task for her, and Paul magnified parasites in +the next room, and prepared slides for his microscope. + +When they met again, Paul began skipping and dancing, as if he had gone +quite out of his senses, and every now and then between the skips he +gave a sepulchral groan. Virginia asked him in astonishment what on +earth was the matter with him. + +'Matter!' he exclaimed. 'Why, Humanity is at last perfect! All the evils +of existence are removed; we neither of us believe in a God or a +celestial future; and we are both in full enjoyment of the higher +pleasures and the apprehension of scientific truth. And therefore I skip +because Humanity is so unspeakably happy, and I groan because it is so +unspeakably solemn.' + +'Alas! alas!' cried Virginia, 'and would not you like to kiss me?' + +'No,' said the Professor, sternly; 'and you would not like me to kiss +you. It is impossible that one half of Humanity should prefer the +pleasure of unlawful love to the pleasure of finding out scientific +truths.' + +'But,' pleaded Virginia, 'cannot we enjoy both?' + +'No,' said the Professor, 'for if I began to kiss you I should soon not +care two straws about the parasites of the missing link.' + +'Well, said Virginia, 'it is nice of you to say that; but still----Ah +me! Ah me!' + +And her bosom heaved slowly with a soft, long sigh. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + +Virginia was preparing, with a rueful face, to resume her enjoyment of +the higher pleasures, when a horrible smell, like that of an open drain, +was suddenly blown in through the window. + +Virginia stopped her nose with her handkerchief. The Professor's conduct +was very different. + +'Oh, rapture!' he cried, jumping up from his seat, 'I smell the missing +link.' And in another instant he was gone. + +'Well,' said Virginia, 'here is one comfort. Whilst Paul is away I shall +be relieved from the higher pleasures. Alas!' she cried, as she flung +herself down on the sofa, 'he is so nice-looking, and such an +enlightened thinker. But it is plain he has never loved, or else very +certainly he would love again.' + +Paul returned in about a couple of hours, again unsuccessful in his +search. + +'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'I am so glad you have not caught the creature!' + +'Glad!' echoed the Professor, 'glad! Do you know that till I have caught +the missing link the cause of glorious truth will suffer grievously? +The missing link is the token of the solemn fact of our origin from +inorganic matter. I did but catch one blessed glimpse of him. He had +certainly a silver band about his neck. He was about three feet high. He +was rolling in a lump of carrion. It is through him that we are related +to the stars--the holy, the glorious stars, about which we know so +little.' + +'Bother the stars!' said Virginia; 'I couldn't bear, Paul, that anything +should come between you and me. I have been thinking of you and longing +for you the whole time you have been away.' + +'What!' cried Paul, 'and how have you been able to forego the pleasures +of the intellect?' + +'I have deserted them,' cried Virginia, 'for the pleasures of the +imagination, which I gathered from you were also very ennobling. And I +found they were so; for I have been imagining that you loved me. Why is +the reality less ennobling than the imagination? Paul, you shall love +me; I will force you to love me. It will make us both so happy: we shall +never go to hell for it; and it cannot possibly cause the slightest +scandal.' + +The Professor was more bewildered than ever by these appeals. He +wondered how Humanity would ever get on if one half of it cared nothing +for pure truth, and persisted in following the vulgar impulses that had +been the most distinguishing feature of its benighted past--that is to +say, those ages of its existence of which any record has been preserved +for us. Luckily, however, Virginia came to his assistance. + +'I think I know, Paul,' she said, 'why I do not care as I should do for +the intellectual pleasures. We have both been seeking them by ourselves; +and we have been therefore egoistic hedonists. It is quite true, as you +say, that selfishness is a despicable thing. Let me,' she went on, +sitting down beside him, 'look through your microscope along with you. +I think perhaps, if we shared the pleasure, the missing link's parasites +might have some interest for me.' + +The Professor was overjoyed at this proposal. The two sat down side by +side, and tried their best to look simultaneously through the eye-piece +of the microscope. Virginia in a moment expressed herself much +satisfied. It is true they saw nothing; but their cheeks touched. The +Professor too seemed contented, and said they should both be in a state +of rapture when they had got the right focus. At last Virginia +whispered, with a soft smile-- + +'Suppose we put that nasty microscope aside; it is only in the way. And +then, oh, Paul; dear love, dove of a Paul! we can kiss each other to our +heart's content.' + +Paul thought Virginia quite incorrigible, and rushed headlong out of the +room. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +'Alas!' cried Paul, 'what can be done to convince one half of Humanity +that it is really devoted to the higher pleasures and does not care for +the lower--at least nothing to speak of?' The poor man was in a state of +dreadful perplexity, and felt wellnigh distracted. At last a light broke +in on him. He remembered that as one of his most revered masters, +Professor Tyndall, had admitted, a great part of Humanity would always +need a religion, and that Virginia now had none. He at once rushed back +to her. 'Ah!' he exclaimed, 'all is explained now. You cannot be in love +with me, for that would be unlawful passion. Unlawful passion is +unreasonable, and unreasonable passion would quite upset a system of +pure reason, which is what exact thought shows us is soon going to +govern the world. No! the emotions that you fancy are directed to me are +in reality cosmic emotion--in other words, are the reasonable religion +of the future. I must now initiate you in its solemn and unspeakably +significant worship.' + +'Religion!' exclaimed Virginia, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. +'It is not kind of you to be making fun of me. There is no God, no soul, +and no supernatural order, and above all there is no hell. How then can +you talk to me about religion?' + +'You,' replied Paul, 'are associating religion with theology, as indeed +the world hitherto always has done. But those two things, as Professor +Huxley well observes, have absolutely nothing to do with each other. "It +may be," says that great teacher, "that the object of a man's religion +is an ideal of sensual enjoyment, or----"' + +'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'that is my religion, Paul.' + +'Nonsense!' replied Paul; 'that cannot be the religion of half Humanity, +else high, holy, solemn, awful morality would never be able to stand on +its own basis. See, the night has fallen, the glorious moon has arisen, +the stupendous stars are sparkling in the firmament. Come down with me +to the sea-shore, where we may be face to face with nature, and I will +show you then what true religion--what true worship is.' + +The two went out together. They stood on the smooth sands, which +glittered white and silvery in the dazzling moonlight All was hushed. +The gentle murmur of the trees, and the soft splash of the sea, seemed +only to make the silence audible. The Professor paused close beside +Virginia, and took her hand. Virginia liked that, and thought that +religion without theology was not perhaps so bad after all. Meanwhile +Paul had fixed his eyes on the moon. Then, in a voice almost broken with +emotion, he whispered, 'The prayer of the man of science, it has been +said, must be for the most part of the silent sort. He who said that was +wrong. It need not be silent; it need only be inarticulate. I have +discovered an audible and a reasonable liturgy which will give utterance +to the full to the religion of exact thought. Let us both join our +voices, and let us croon at the moon.' + +The Professor at once began a long, low howling. Virginia joined him, +until she was out of breath. + +'Oh, Paul,' she said at last, 'is this more rational than the Lord's +Prayer?' + +'Yes,' said the Professor, 'for we can analyse and comprehend that; but +true religious feeling, as Professor Tyndall tells us, we can neither +analyse nor comprehend. See how big nature is, and how little--ah, how +little!--we know about it. Is it not solemn, and sublime, and awful? +Come let us howl again.' + +The Professor's devotional fervour grew every moment. At last he put his +hand to his mouth, and began hooting like an owl, till it seemed that +all the island echoed to him. The louder Paul hooted and howled, the +more near did he draw to Virginia. + +'Ah!' he said, as he put his arm about her waist, 'it is in solemn +moments like this that the solidarity of mankind becomes apparent.' + +Virginia, during the last few moments, had stuck her fingers in her +ears. She now took them out, and, throwing her arms round Paul's neck, +tried, with her cheek on his shoulder, to make another little hoot; but +the sound her lips formed was much more like a kiss. The power of +religion was at last too much for Paul. + +'For the sake of cosmic emotion,' he exclaimed, 'O other half of +Humanity, and for the sake of rational religion, both of which are +showing themselves under quite a new light to me, I will kiss you.' + +The Professor was bending down his face over her, when, as if by magic, +he started, stopped, and remained as one petrified. Amidst the sharp +silence, there rang a human shout from the rocks. + +'Oh!' shrieked Virginia, falling on her knees, 'it is a miracle! it is a +miracle! And I know--merciful heavens--I know the meaning of it. God is +angry with us for pretending that we do not believe on Him.' + +The Professor was as white as a sheet; but he struggled with his +perturbation manfully. + +'It is not a miracle,' he cried, 'but an hallucination. It is an axiom +with exact thinkers that all proofs of the miraculous are +hallucinations.' + +'See,' shrieked Virginia again, 'they are coming, they are coming. Do +not you see them?' + +Paul looked, and there sure enough, were two figures, a male and a +female, advancing slowly towards them, across the moonlit sand. + +'It is nothing,' cried Paul; 'it cannot possibly be anything. I protest, +in the name of science, that it is an optical delusion.' + +Suddenly the female figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is he!' + +In another moment the male figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is she!' + +'My husband!' gasped Virginia. + +'My wife!' replied the bishop, for it was none other than he. 'Welcome +to Chasuble Island. By the blessing of God it is on your own home you +have been wrecked, and you have been living in the very house that I had +intended to prepare for you. Providentially, too, Professor Darnley's +wife has called here, in her search for her husband, who has overstayed +his time. See, my love, my dove, my beauty, here is the monkey I +promised you as a pet, which broke loose a few days ago, and which I was +in the act of looking for when your joint cries attracted us, and we +found you.' + +A yell of delight here broke from the Professor. The eyes of the others +were turned on him, and he was seen embracing wildly a monkey which the +bishop led by a chain. 'The missing link! he exclaimed, 'the missing +link!' + +'Nonsense!' cried the sharp tones of a lady with a green gown and grey +corkscrew curls. 'It is nothing but a monkey that the good bishop has +been trying to tame for his wife. Don't you see her name engraved on +the collar?' + +The shrill accents acted like a charm upon Paul. He sprang away from the +creature that he had been just caressing. He gazed for a moment on +Virginia's lovely form, her exquisite toilette, and her melting eyes. +Then he turned wildly to the green gown and the grey corkscrew curls. +Sorrow and superstition, he felt, were again invading Humanity. 'Alas!' +he exclaimed at last, 'I do now indeed believe in hell.' + +'And I,' cried Virginia, with much greater tact, and rushing into the +arms of her bishop, 'once more believe in heaven.' + + + + +NOTES. + + +'We now find it (_the earth_) not only swathed by an atmosphere, and +covered by a sea, but also crowded with living things. The question is, +how were they introduced?... The conclusion of science would undoubtedly +be, that the molten earth contained within it elements of life, which +grouped themselves into their present forms as the planet cooled. The +difficulty and reluctance encountered by this conception arise _solely_ +from the fact that the theologic conception obtained a prior footing in +the human mind.... Were not man's origin implicated, we should accept +without a murmur the derivation of animal and vegetable life from what +we call inorganic nature. The conclusion of pure intellect points this +way, and no other.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'Is this egg (_from which the human being springs_) matter? I hold it to +be so, as much as the seed of a fern or of an oak. Nine months go to +the making of it into a man. Are the additions made during this period +of gestation drawn from matter? I think so, undoubtedly. If there be +anything besides matter in the egg, or in the infant subsequently +slumbering in the womb, what is it?' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'Matter I define as the mysterious thing by which all this is +accomplished.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'I do not think that the materialist is entitled to say that his +molecular groupings and motions explain everything. In reality, they +_explain_ nothing. PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'Who shall exaggerate the deadly influence on personal morality of those +theologies which have represented the Deity ... as a sort of pedantic +drill-sergeant of mankind, to whom no valour, no long-tried loyalty, +could atone for the misplacement of a button of the uniform, or the +misunderstanding of a paragraph of the "regulations and instructions"?' +PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'(_To the Jesuit imagination_) God is obviously a large individual, who +holds the leading-strings of the universe, and orders its steps from a +position outside it all.... According to it (_this notion_) the Power +whom Goethe does not dare to name, and whom Gassendi and Clark Maxwell +present to us under the guise of a manufacturer of atoms, turns out +annually, for England and Wales alone, a quarter of a million of new +souls. Taken in connection with the dictum of Mr. Carlyle, that this +annual increment to our population are "mostly fools," but little profit +to the human heart seems derivable from this mode of regarding the +divine operations.... In the presence of this mystery (_the mystery of +life_) the notion of an atomic manufacturer and artificer of souls, +raises the doubt whether those who entertain it were ever really +penetrated by the solemnity of the problem for which they offer such a +solution.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'I look forward, however, to a time when the strength, insight, and +elevation which now visit us in mere hints and glimpses, during moments +of clearness and vigour, shall be the stable and permanent possession +of purer and mightier minds than ours--purer and mightier, partly +because of their deeper knowledge of matter, and their more faithful +conformity to its laws.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'The world, as it is, is growing daily dimmer before my eyes. The world, +as it is to be, is ever growing brighter.' HARRIET MARTINEAU. + +'... When you and I, like streaks of morning cloud, shall have melted +into the infinite azure of the past.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'We, too, turn our thoughts to that which is behind the veil. We strive +to pierce its secret with eyes, we trust, as eager and as fearless, and +even, it may be, more patient in searching for realities behind the +gloom. That which shall come _after_ is no less solemn to us than to +you.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'Theological hypotheses of a new and heterogeneous existence have +deadened our interest in the realities, the grandeur, and the perpetuity +of an earthly life.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'As we read, the calm and humane words of Condorcet, on the very edge of +his yawning grave, we learn, from the conviction of posthumous activity +(not posthumous fame), how the consciousness of a living incorporation +with the glorious future of his race, can give a patience and happiness +equal to that of any martyr of theology.... Once make it (_i.e._ "this +sense of posthumous participation in the life of our fellows") the basis +of philosophy, the standard of right and wrong, and the centre of a +religion, and this (_the conversion of the masses_) will prove, perhaps, +an easier task than that of teaching Greeks and Romans, Syrians and +Moors, to look forward to a life of ceaseless psalmody in an immaterial +heaven.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'We make the future life, in the truest sense, social, inasmuch as our +future is simply an active existence prolonged by society; and our +future life rests not in any vague yearning, of which we have as little +evidence as we have definite conception: it rests on a perfectly certain +truth ... that the actions, feelings, thoughts, of each one of us, do +marvellously influence and mould each other.... Can we conceive a more +potent stimulus to rectitude, to daily and hourly striving after a true +life, than this ever-present sense that we are indeed immortal; not that +we have an immortal something within us--but that in very truth we +ourselves, our thinking, feeling, acting personalities, are immortal?' +MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'As we _live for others_ in life, so we _live in others_ after death.... +How deeply does such a belief as this bring home to each moment of life +the mysterious perpetuity of ourselves! For good, for evil, we cannot +die. We cannot shake ourselves free from this eternity of our +faculties.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'We cannot even say that we shall continue to love; but we know that we +shall be loved.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'It is only when an earthly future is the fulfilment of a worthy earthly +life, that we can see the majesty, as well as the glory, of the world +beyond the grave; and then only will it fulfil its moral and religious +purpose as the great guide of human conduct.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'I am confident that a brighter day is coming for future generations.' +HARRIET MARTINEAU. + +'The humblest life that ever turned a sod sends a wave--no, more than a +wave, a life--through the evergrowing harmony of human society.' MR. +FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'Not a single nature, in its entirety, but leaves its influence for good +or for evil. _As a fact, the good prevail_.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'To our friends and loved ones we shall give the most worthy honour and +tribute if we never say nor remember that they are dead, but, +contrariwise, that they have lived; that hereby the brotherly force and +flow of their action and work may be carried over the gulf of death, and +made immortal in the true and healthy life which they worthily had and +used.' PROFESSOR CLIFFORD. + +'It cannot be doubted that the "spiritual body" of this book (_The +Unseen Universe_) will be used to support a belief that the dead are +subject either to the _shame and suffering of a Christian Heaven_ and +Hell, or to the degrading service of a modern witch. From _each_ of +these _unspeakable profanities_ let us hope and endeavour that the +memories of great and worthy men may be finally relieved.' PROFESSOR +CLIFFORD. + +'I choose the noble part of Emerson, when, after various +disenchantments, he exclaimed, "I covet truth." The gladness of true +heroism visits the heart of him who is really competent to say this.' +PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'The highest, as it is the only, content is to be attained, not by +grovelling in the rank and steaming valleys of sense, but by continually +striving towards those high peaks, when, resting in eternal calm, reason +discerns the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good--"a cloud by +day, a pillar of fire by night."' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'If it can be shown by observation and experiment, that theft, murder, +and adultery, do not tend to diminish the happiness of society, then, in +the absence of any but natural knowledge, they are not social +immoralities.' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'For my own part, I do not for one moment admit that morality is not +strong enough to hold its own.' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'I object to the very general use of the terms religion and theology, as +if they were synonymous, or _indeed had anything whatever to do with one +another_.... Religion is an affair of the affections. It may be that the +object of a man's religion--the ideal which he worships--is an ideal of +sensual enjoyment.' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'In his hour of health ... when the pause of reflection has set in, the +scientific investigator finds himself overshadowed with the same awe. It +associates him with a power which gives fulness and tone to his +existence, but which he can neither analyse nor comprehend.' PROFESSOR +TYNDALL. + +'He will see what drivellers even men of strenuous intellects may +become,' though exclusively dwelling and dealing with theological +chimeras. PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'The two kinds of cosmic emotion run together and become one. The +microcosm is viewed only in relation to human action, nature is +presented to the emotions as the guide and teacher of humanity. And the +microcosm is viewed only as tending to complete correspondence with the +external; human conduct is subject for reverence only in so far as it is +consonant to the demiurgic law, in harmony with the teaching of divine +Nature.' PROFESSOR CLIFFORD. + +'The world will have religion of some kind, even though it should fly +for it to the intellectual whoredom of "spiritualism."' PROFESSOR +TYNDALL. + +'All positive methods of treating man, of a comprehensive kind, adopt to +the full all that has ever been said about the dignity of man's moral +and spiritual life.... I do not confine my language to the philosophy or +religion of Comte; for the same conception of man is common to many +philosophies and many religions.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The New Paul and Virginia, by W. H. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The New Paul and Virginia + Positivism on an Island + +Author: W. H. Mallock + +Release Date: October 7, 2011 [EBook #37651] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA *** + + + + +Produced by Christine Bell and Marc D'Hooghe at +http://www.freeliterature.org (From images generously made +available by the Internet Archive) + + + + + + +</pre> + +<h1>THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA</h1> + +<h3>or</h3> + +<h3>POSITIVISM ON AN ISLAND</h3> + +<h3>BY</h3> + +<h2>W.H. MALLOCK</h2> + +<h4>AUTHOR OF 'THE NEW REPUBLIC' ETC.</h4> + + +<h5>LONDON</h5> + +<h5>CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY</h5> + +<h5>1890</h5> + + +<p><a href="#CONTENTS">Contents</a></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><i>'Pessimism as to the essential dignity of man is one of the surest +marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a celestial glory.'</i></p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 24.5em;">Mr Frederic Harrison</span><br /> +</p> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p style="margin-left: 25%;"> +'Those who can read the signs of the times read in them<br /> +that the kingdom of man is at hand'—Professor <span class="quote">CLIFFORD</span><br /> +</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 25%;"> +Thou art smitten, o God, thou art smitten; thy curse is<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">upon thee, O Lord!</span><br /> +And the love song of earth as thou diest, resounds through<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">the wind of its wings,</span><br /> +Glory to man in the highest, for man is the master of<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;">things</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 15em;"><i>Songs before Sunrise</i></span><br /> +</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + + + +<h3><i>THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA.</i></h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I.</h3> + + +<p>The magnificent ocean-steamer the <i>Australasian</i> was bound for England, +on her homeward voyage from Melbourne, carrying Her Majesty's mails and +ninety-eight first-class passengers. Never did vessel start under +happier auspices. The skies were cloudless; the sea was smooth as glass. +There was not a sound of sickness to be heard anywhere; and when +dinner-time came there was not a single absentee nor an appetite +wanting.</p> + +<p>But the passengers soon discovered they were lucky in more than weather. +Dinner was hardly half over before two of the company had begun to +attract general attention; and every one all round the table was +wondering, in whispers, who they could possibly be.</p> + +<p>One of the objects of this delightful curiosity was a large-boned, +middle-aged man, with gleaming spectacles, and lank, untidy hair; whose +coat fitted him so ill, and who held his head so high, that one saw at a +glance he was some great celebrity. The other was a beautiful lady of +about thirty years of age, the like of whom nobody present had ever seen +before. She had the fairest hair and the darkest eyebrows, the largest +eyes and the smallest waist conceivable; art and nature had been plainly +struggling as to which should do the most for her; whilst her bearing +was so haughty and distinguished, her glance so tender, and her dress so +expensive and so fascinating, that she seemed at the same time to defy +and to court attention.</p> + +<p>Evening fell on the ship with a soft warm witchery. The air grew purple, +and the waves began to glitter in the moonlight. The passengers gathered +in knots upon the deck, and the distinguished strangers were still the +subject of conjecture. At last the secret was discovered by the wife of +an old colonial judge; and the news spread like wildfire. In a few +minutes all knew that there were on board the <i>Australasian</i> no less +personages than Professor Paul Darnley and the superb Virginia St. +John.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II.</h3> + + +<p>Miss St. John had, for at least six years, been the most renowned woman +in Europe. In Paris and St. Petersburg, no less than in London, her name +was equally familiar both to princes and to pot-boys; indeed, the gaze +of all the world was fixed on her. Yet, in spite of this exposed +situation, scandal had proved powerless to wrong her; she defied +detraction. Her enemies could but echo her friends' praise of her +beauty; her friends could but confirm her enemies' description of her +character. Though of birth that might almost be called humble, she had +been connected with the heads of many distinguished families; and so +general was the affection she inspired, and so winning the ways in which +she contrived to retain it, that she found herself, at the age of +thirty, mistress of nothing except a large fortune. She was now +converted with surprising rapidity by a Ritualistic priest, and she +became in a few months a model of piety and devotion. She made lace +trimmings for the curate's vestments; she bowed at church as often and +profoundly as possible; she enjoyed nothing so much as going to +confession; she learnt to despise the world. Indeed, such utter dross +did her riches now seem to her, that, despite all the arguments of her +ghostly counsellor, she remained convinced that they were far too +worthless to offer to the Church, and she saw nothing for it but to +still keep them for herself. The mingled humility and discretion of this +resolve so won the heart of a gifted colonial bishop, then on a visit to +England, that, having first assured himself that Miss St. John was +sincere in making it, he besought her to share with him his humble +mitre, and make him the happiest prelate in the whole Catholic Church. +Miss St. John consented. The nuptials were celebrated with the most +elaborate ritual, and after a short honeymoon the bishop departed for +his South Pacific diocese of the Chasuble Islands, to prepare a home for +his bride, who was to follow him by the next steamer.</p> + +<p>Professor Paul Darnley, in his own walk of life, was even more famous +than Virginia had been in hers. He had written three volumes on the +origin of life, which he had spent seven years in looking for in +infusions of hay and cheese; he had written five volumes on the entozoa +of the pig, and two volumes of lectures, as a corollary to these, on the +sublimity of human heroism and the whole duty of man. He was renowned +all over Europe and America as a complete embodiment of enlightened +modern thought. He criticised everything; he took nothing on trust, +except the unspeakable sublimity of the human race and its august +terrestrial destinies. And, in his double capacity of a seer and a +<i>savant</i>, he had destroyed all that the world had believed in the past, +and revealed to it all that it is going to feel in the future. His mind +indeed was like a sea, into which the other great minds of the age +discharged themselves, and in which all the slight discrepancies of the +philosophy of the present century mingled together and formed one +harmonious whole. Nor was he less successful in his own private life. +He married, at the age of forty, an excellent evangelical lady, ten +years his senior, who wore a green gown, grey corkscrew curls, and who +had a fortune of two hundred thousand pounds. Deeply pledged though she +was to the most vapid figments of Christianity, Mrs. Darnley was yet +proud beyond measure of her husband's worldwide fame, for she did but +imperfectly understand the grounds of it. Indeed, the only thing that +marred her happiness was the single tenet of his that she had really +mastered. This, unluckily, was that he disbelieved in hell. And so, as +Mrs. Darnley conceived that that place was designed mainly to hold those +who doubted its existence, she daily talked her utmost and left no text +unturned to convince her darling of his very dangerous error. These +assiduous arguments soon began to tell. The Professor grew moody and +brooding, and he at last suggested to his medical man that a voyage +round the world, unaccompanied by his wife, was the prescription most +needed by his failing patience. Mrs. Darnley at length consented with a +fairly good grace. She made her husband pledge himself that he would not +be absent for above a twelvemonth, or else, she said, she should +immediately come after him. She bade him the tenderest of adieus, and +promised to pray till his return for his recovery of a faith in hell.</p> + +<p>The Professor, who had but exceeded his time by six months, was now on +board the <i>Australasian</i>, homeward bound to his wife. Virginia was +outward bound to her husband.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III.</h3> + + +<p>The sensation created by the presence of these two celebrities was +profound beyond description; and the passengers were never weary of +watching the gleaming spectacles and the square-toed boots of the one, +and the liquid eyes and the ravishing toilettes of the other. Virginia's +acquaintance was made almost instantly by three pale-faced curates, and +so well did their friendship prosper, that they soon sang at nightfall +with her a beautiful vesper hymn. Nor did the matter end here, for the +strains sounded so lovely, and Virginia looked so devotional, that most +of the passengers the night after joined in a repetition of this +touching evening office.</p> + +<p>The Professor, as was natural, held quite aloof, and pondered over a new +species of bug, which he had found very plentiful in his berth. But it +soon occurred to him that he often heard the name of God being uttered +otherwise than in swearing. He listened more attentively to the sounds +which he had at first set down as negro-melodies, and he soon became +convinced that they were something whose very existence he despised +himself for remembering—namely, Christian hymns. He then thought of the +three curates, whose existence he despised himself for remembering also. +And the conviction rapidly dawned on him that, though the passengers +seemed fully alive to his fame as a man of science, they could yet know +very little of all that science had done for them; and of the death-blow +it had given to the foul superstitions of the past. He therefore +resolved that next day he would preach them a lay-sermon.</p> + +<p>At the appointed time the passengers gathered eagerly round him—all but +Virginia, who retired to her cabin when she saw that the preacher wore +no surplice, as she thought it would be a mortal sin to listen to a +sermon without one.</p> + +<p>The Professor began amidst a profound silence. He first proclaimed to +his hearers the great primary axiom on which all modern thought bases +itself. He told them that there was but one order of things—it was so +much neater than two; and if we would be certain of anything, we must +never doubt this. Thus, since countless things exist that the senses +<i>can</i> take account of, it is evident that nothing exists that the senses +can <i>not</i> take account of. The senses can take no account of God; +therefore God does not exist. Men of science can only see theology in a +ridiculous light, therefore theology has no side that is not ridiculous. +He then told them a few of the names that enlightened thinkers had +applied to the Christian deity—how Professor Tyndall had called him an +'atom-manufacturer,' and Professor Huxley a 'pedantic drill-sergeant'. +The passengers at once saw how demonstrably at variance with fact was +all religion, and they laughed with a sense of humour that was quite new +to them. The Professor's tones then became more solemn, and, having +extinguished error, he at once went on to unveil the brilliant light of +truth. He showed them how, viewed by modern science, all existence is a +chain, with a gas at one end and no one knows what at the other; and how +Humanity is a link somewhere; but—holy and awful thought!—we can none +of us tell where. 'However,' he proceeded, 'of one thing we can be quite +certain; all that is, is matter; the laws of matter are eternal, and we +cannot act or think without conforming to them; and if,' he said, 'we +would be solemn and high, and happy, and heroic, and saintly, we have +but to strive and struggle to do what we cannot for an instant avoid +doing. Yes,' he exclaimed, 'as the sublime Tyndall tells us, let us +struggle to attain to a deeper knowledge of matter, and a more faithful +conformity to its laws!'</p> + +<p>The Professor would have proceeded, but the weather had been rapidly +growing rough, and he here became violently sea-sick.</p> + +<p>'Let us,' he exclaimed hurriedly, 'conform to the laws of matter and go +below.'</p> + +<p>Nor was the advice premature. A storm arose, exceptional in its +suddenness and its fury. It raged for two days without ceasing. The +<i>Australasian</i> sprang a leak; her steering gear was disabled; and it was +feared she would go ashore on an island that was seen dimly through the +fog to the leeward. The boats were got in readiness. A quantity of +provisions and of the passengers' baggage was already stowed in the +cutter; when the clouds parted, the sun came out again, and the storm +subsided almost as quickly as it rose.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV.</h3> + + +<p>No sooner were the ship's damages in a fair way to be repaired than the +Professor resumed his sermon. He climbed into the cutter, which was +still full of the passengers' baggage, and sat down on the largest of +Virginia's boxes. This so alarmed Virginia that she incontinently +followed the Professor into the cutter, to keep an eye on her property; +but she did not forget to stop her ears with her fingers, that she +might not be guilty of listening to an unsurpliced minister.</p> + +<p>The Professor took up the thread of his discourse just where he had +broken it off. Every circumstance favoured him. The calm sea was +sparkling under the gentlest breeze; all Nature seemed suffused with +gladness; and at two miles' distance was an enchanting island, green +with every kind of foliage, and glowing with the hues of a thousand +flowers. The Professor, having reminded his hearers of what nonsense +they now thought all the Christian teachings, went on to show them the +blessed results of this. Since the God that we once called all-holy is +a fable, that Humanity is all-holy must be a fact. Since we shall never +be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy hereafter, it is evident +that we can be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy here. 'This,' +said the Professor, 'is the new Gospel. It is founded on exact thought. +It is the Gospel of the kingdom of man; and had I only here a microscope +and a few chemicals, I could demonstrate its eternal truth to you. There +is no heaven to seek for; there is no hell to shun. We have nothing to +strive and live for except to be unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>This eloquence was received with enthusiasm. The captain in particular, +who had a wife in every port he touched at, was overjoyed at hearing +that there was no hell; and he sent for all the crew, that they might +learn the good news likewise. But soon the general gladness was marred +by a sound of weeping. Three-fourths of the passengers, having had time +to reflect a little, began exclaiming that as a matter of fact they were +really completely miserable, and that for various reasons they could +never be anything else. 'My friends,' said the Professor, quite +undaunted, 'that is doubtless completely true. You are not happy now; +you probably never will be. But that, I can assure you, is of very +little moment. Only conform faithfully to the laws of matter, and your +children's children will be happy in the course of a few centuries; and +you will like that far, far better than being happy yourselves. Only +consider the matter in this light, and you yourselves will in an instant +become happy also; and whatever you say, and whatever you do, think only +of the effect it will have five hundred years afterwards.'</p> + +<p>At these solemn words, the anxious faces grew calm. An awful sense of +the responsibility of each one of us, and the infinite consequences of +every human act, was filling the hearts of all; when by a faithful +conformity to the laws of matter, the boiler blew up, and the +<i>Australasian</i> went down. In an instant the air was rent with yells and +cries; and all the Humanity that was on board the vessel was busy, as +the Professor expressed it, uniting itself with the infinite azure of +the past. Paul and Virginia, however, floated quietly away in the +cutter, together with the baggage and provisions.</p> + +<p>Virginia was made almost senseless by the suddenness of the catastrophe; +and on seeing five sailors sink within three yards of her, she fainted +dead away. The Professor begged her not to take it so much to heart, as +these were the very men who had got the cutter in readiness; 'and they +are, therefore,' he said, 'still really alive in the fact of our happy +escape.' Virginia, however, being quite insensible, the Professor turned +to the last human being still to be seen above the waters, and shouted +to him not to be afraid of death, as there was certainly no hell, and +that his life, no matter how degraded and miserable, had been a glorious +mystery, full of infinite significance. The next moment the struggler +was snapped up by a shark. Our friends, meanwhile, borne by a current, +had been drifting rapidly towards the island. And the Professor, +spreading to the breeze Virginia's beautiful lace parasol, soon brought +the cutter to the shore on a beach of the softest sand.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V.</h3> + + +<p>The scene that met Paul's eyes was one of extreme loveliness. He found +himself in a little fairy bay, full of translucent waters, and fringed +with silvery sands. On either side it was protected by fantastic rocks, +and in the middle it opened inland to an enchanting valley, where tall +tropical trees made a grateful shade, and where the ground was carpeted +with the softest moss and turf.</p> + +<p>Paul's first care was for his fair companion. He spread a costly +cashmere shawl on the beach, and placed her, still fainting, on this. In +a few moments she opened her eyes; but was on the point of fainting +again as the horrors of the last half-hour came back to her, when she +caught sight in the cutter of the largest of her own boxes, and she +began to recover herself. Paul begged her to remain quiet whilst he went +to reconnoitre.</p> + +<p>He had hardly proceeded twenty yards into the valley, when to his +infinite astonishment he came on a charming cottage, built under the +shadow of a bread-tree, with a broad verandah, plate-glass windows, and +red window-blinds. His first thought was that this could be no desert +island at all, but some happy European settlement. But, on approaching +the cottage, it proved to be quite untenanted, and from the cobwebs +woven across the doorway it seemed to have been long abandoned. Inside +there was abundance of luxurious furniture; the floors were covered with +gorgeous Indian carpets; and there was a pantry well stocked with plate +and glass and table-linen. The Professor could not tell what to make of +it, till, examining the structure more closely, he found it composed +mainly of a ship's timbers. This seemed to tell its own tale, and he at +once concluded that he and Virginia were not the first castaways who had +been forced to make the island for some time their dwelling-place.</p> + +<p>Overjoyed at this discovery, he hastened back to Virginia. She was by +this time apparently quite recovered, and was kneeling on the cashmere +shawl, with a rosary in her hands designed especially for the use of +Anglo-Catholics, alternately lifting up her eyes in gratitude to heaven, +and casting them down in anguish at her torn and crumpled dress. The +poor Professor was horrified at the sight of a human being in this +degrading attitude of superstition. But as Virginia quitted it with +alacrity as soon as ever he told his news to her, he hoped he might soon +convert her into a sublime and holy Utilitarian.</p> + +<p>The first thing she besought him to do was to carry her biggest box to +this charming cottage, that she might change her clothes, and appear in +something fit to be seen in. The Professor most obligingly at once did +as she asked him; and whilst she was busy at her toilette, he got from +the cutter what provisions he could, and proceeded to lay the table. +When all was ready, he rang a gong which he found suspended in the +lobby; Virginia appeared shortly in a beautiful pink dressing-gown, +embroidered with silver flowers; and just before sunset the two sat down +to a really excellent meal. The bread tree at the door of the cottage +contributed some beautiful French rolls; close at hand also they +discovered a butter-tree; and the Professor had produced from the cutter +a variety of salt and potted meats, <i>paté de foie gras</i>, cakes, +preserved fruits, and some bottles of fine champagne. This last helped +much to raise their spirits. Virginia found it very dry, and exactly +suited to her palate. She had but drunk five glasses of it, when her +natural smile returned to her, though she was much disappointed, +because Paul took no notice of her dressing-gown, and when she had drunk +three glasses more she quietly went to sleep on the sofa.</p> + +<p>The moon had by this time risen in dazzling splendour, and the Professor +went out and lighted a cigar. All during dinner there had been a feeling +of dull despair in his heart, which even the champagne did not +dissipate. But now, as he surveyed in the moonlight the wondrous +Paradise in which his strange fate had cast him, his mood changed. The +air was full of the scents of a thousand night-smelling flowers; the sea +murmured on the beach in soft, voluptuous cadences. The Professor's +cigar was excellent. He now saw his situation in a truer light. Here was +a bountiful island, where earth unbidden brought forth all her choicest +fruits, and most of the luxuries of civilisation had already been wafted +thither. Existence here seemed to be purified from all its evils. Was +not this the very condition of things which all the sublimest and +exactest thinkers of modern times had been dreaming and lecturing and +writing books about for a good half-century? Here was a place where +Humanity could do justice to itself, and realise those glorious +destinies which all exact thinkers take for granted must be in store for +it. True, from the mass of Humanity he was completely cut away; but +Virginia was his companion. Holiness, and solemnity, and unspeakably +significant happiness did not, he argued, depend on the multiplication +table. He and Virginia represented Humanity as well as a million +couples. They were a complete humanity in themselves, and humanity in a +perfectible shape; and the very next day they would make preparations +for fulfilling their holy destiny, and being as solemnly and unspeakably +happy as it was their stern duty to be.</p> + +<p>The Professor turned his eyes upwards to the starry heavens, and a sense +came over him of the eternity and the immensity of Nature, and the +demonstrable absence of any intelligence that guided, it. These +reflections naturally brought home to him with more vividness the +stupendous and boundless importance of Man. His bosom swelled violently, +and he cried aloud, his eyes still fixed on the firmament, 'Oh, +important All! oh, important Me!'</p> + +<p>When he came back to the cottage he found Virginia just getting off the +sofa, and preparing to go to bed. She was too sleepy even to say +good-night to him, and with evident want of temper was tugging at the +buttons of her dressing-gown. 'Ah!' she murmured as she left the room, +'if God, in His infinite mercy, had only spared my maid!'</p> + +<p>Virginia's evident discontent gave profound pain to Paul. 'How solemn,' +he exclaimed, 'for half Humanity to be discontented!' But he was still +more disturbed at the appeal to a chimerical manufacturer of atoms; and +he groaned in tones of yet more sonorous sorrow, 'How solemn for half +Humanity to be sunk lower than the beasts by superstition!'</p> + +<p>However, he hoped that these stupendous evils might, under the present +favourable conditions, vanish in the course of a few days' progress; and +he went to bed, full of august auguries.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI.</h3> + +<p>Next morning he was up betimes; and the prospects of Humanity looked +more glorious than ever. He gathered some of the finest pats from the +butter-tree, and some fresh French rolls from the bread-tree. He +discovered a cow close at hand, that allowed him at once to milk it; and +a little roast pig ran up to him out of the underwood, and fawning on +him with its trotters, said, 'Come, eat me.'</p> + +<p>The Professor vivisected it before Virginia's door, that its automatic +noise, which the vulgar call cries of pain, might awaken her; and he +then set it in a hot dish on the table.</p> + +<p>'It has come! it has come!' he shouted, rapturously, as Virginia entered +the room, this time in a blue silk dressing-gown, embroidered with +flowers of gold.</p> + +<p>'What has come?' said Virginia, pettishly, for she was suffering from a +terrible headache, and the Professor's loud voice annoyed her. 'You +don't mean to say that we are rescued, are we?'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' answered Paul, solemnly; 'we are rescued. We are rescued from all +the pains and imperfections of a world that has not learnt how to +conform to the laws of matter, and is but imperfectly acquainted with +the science of sociology. It is therefore inevitable that, the evils of +existence being thus removed, we shall both be solemnly, stupendously, +and unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>'Nonsense!' said Virginia, snappishly, who thought the Professor was +joking.</p> + +<p>'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor, 'It is deducible from the +teachings of John Stuart Mill, of Auguste Comte, of Mr. Frederic +Harrison, and of all the exact thinkers who have cast off superstition, +and who adore Humanity.'</p> + +<p>Virginia meanwhile ate <i>paté de foie gras</i>, of which she was +passionately fond; and, growing a little less sullen, she at last +admitted that they were lucky in having at least the necessaries of life +left to them. 'But as for happiness—there is nothing to do here, there +is no church to go to, and you don't seem to care a bit for my +dressing-gown. What have we got to make us happy?'</p> + +<p>'Humanity,' replied the Professor eagerly,—'Humanity, that divine +entity, which is necessarily capable of everything that is fine and +invaluable, and is the object of indescribable emotion to all exact +thinkers. And what is Humanity?' he went on more earnestly; 'you and I +are Humanity—you and I are that august existence. You already are all +the world to me; and I very soon shall be all the world to you. Adored +being, it will be my mission and my glory to compel you to live for me. +And then, as modern philosophy can demonstrate, we shall both of us be +significantly and unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>For a few moments Virginia merely stared at Paul. Suddenly she turned +quite pale, her lips quivered, and exclaiming, 'How dare you!—and I, +too, the wife of a bishop!' she left the room in hysterics.</p> + +<p>The Professor could make nothing of this. Though he had dissected many +dead women, he knew very little of the hearts of live ones. A sense of +shyness overpowered him, and he felt embarrassed, he could not tell +why, at being thus left alone with Virginia. He lit a cigar and went +out. Here was a to-do indeed, he thought. How would progress be possible +if one half of Humanity misunderstood the other?</p> + +<p>He was thus musing, when suddenly a voice startled him; and in another +moment a man came rushing up to him, with every demonstration of joy.</p> + +<p>'Oh, my dear master! oh, emancipator of the human intellect! and is it +indeed you? Thank God!—--I beg pardon for my unspeakable blasphemy—I +mean, thank circumstances over which I have no control.'</p> + +<p>It was one of the three curates, whom Paul had supposed drowned, but who +now related how he had managed to swim ashore, despite the extreme +length of his black clerical coat. 'These rags of superstition,' he +said, 'did their best to drown me. But I survive in spite of them, to +covet truth and to reject error. Thanks to your glorious teaching,' he +went on, looking reverentially into the Professor's face, 'the very +notion of an Almighty Father makes me laugh consumedly, it is so absurd +and so immoral. Science, through your instrumentality, has opened my +eyes. I am now an exact thinker.'</p> + +<p>'Do you believe, said Paul, 'in solemn, significant, and unspeakably +happy Humanity?</p> + +<p>'I do,' said the curate, fervently. 'Whenever I think of Humanity, I +groan and moan to myself out of sheer solemnity.'</p> + +<p>'Then two thirds of Humanity,' said the Professor, 'are thoroughly +enlightened. Progress will now go on smoothly.'</p> + +<p>At this moment Virginia came out, having rapidly recovered composure at +the sound of a new man's voice.</p> + +<p>'You here—you, too!' exclaimed the curate. 'How solemn, how +significant! This is truly Providential——I mean this has truly +happened through conformity to the laws of matter.'</p> + +<p>'Well,' said Virginia, 'since we have a clergyman amongst us, we shall +perhaps be able to get on.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII.</h3> + + +<p>Things now took a better turn. The Professor ceased to feel shy; and +proposed, when the curate had finished an enormous breakfast, that they +should go down to the cutter, and bring up the things in it to the +cottage. 'A few hours' steady progress,' he said, 'and the human race +will command all the luxuries of civilisation—the glorious fruits of +centuries of onward labour.'</p> + +<p>The three spent a very busy morning in examining and unpacking the +luggage. The Professor found his favourite collection of modern +philosophers; Virginia found a large box of knick-knacks, with which to +adorn the cottage; and there was, too, an immense store of wine and of +choice provisions.</p> + +<p>'It is rather sad,' sighed Virginia, as she dived into a box of French +chocolate-creams, 'to think that all the poor people are drowned that +these things belonged to.'</p> + +<p>'They are not dead,' said the Professor: 'they still live on this holy +and stupendous earth. They live in the use we are making of all they had +got together. The owner of those chocolate-creams is immortal because +you are eating them.'</p> + +<p>Virginia licked her lips and said, 'Nonsense!'</p> + +<p>'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor. 'It is the religion of +Humanity.'</p> + +<p>All day they were busy, and the time passed pleasantly enough. Wines, +provisions, books, and china ornaments were carried up to the cottage +and bestowed in proper places. Virginia filled the glasses in the +drawing-room with gorgeous leaves and flowers and declared by the +evening, as she looked round her, that she could almost fancy herself in +St. John's Wood.</p> + +<p>'See, said the Professor, 'how rapid is the progress of material +civilisation! Humanity is now entering on the fruits of ages. Before +long it will be in a position to be unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>Virginia retired to bed early. The Professor took the curate out with +him to look at the stars; and promised to lend him some writings of the +modern philosophers, which would make him more perfect in the new view +of things. They said good-night, murmuring together that there was +certainly no God, that Humanity was very important, and that everything +was very solemn.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII.</h3> + + +<p>Next morning the curate began studying a number of essays that the +Professor lent him, all written by exact thinkers, who disbelieved in +God, and thought Humanity adorable, and most important. Virginia lay on +the sofa, and sighed over one of Miss Broughton's novels; and it +occurred to the Professor that the island was just the place where, if +anywhere, the missing link might be found.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' he exclaimed; 'all is still progress. Material progress came to an +end yesterday. Mental progress has begun to-day. One third of Humanity +is cultivating sentiment; another third is learning to covet truth. I, +the remaining and most enlightened third, will go and seek it. Glorious, +solemn Humanity! I will go and look about for its arboreal ancestor.'</p> + +<p>Every step the Professor took he found the island more beautiful. But he +came back to luncheon, having been unsuccessful in his search. Events +had marched quickly in his absence. Virginia was at the beginning of her +third volume; and the curate had skimmed over so many essays, that he +professed himself able to give a thorough account of the want of faith +that was in him.</p> + +<p>After luncheon the three sat together in easy chairs, in the verandah, +sometimes talking, sometimes falling into a half-doze. They all agreed +that they were wonderfully comfortable, and the Professor said—</p> + +<p>'All Humanity is now at rest, and in utter peace. It is just taking +breath, before it becomes unspeakably and significantly happy.'</p> + +<p>He would have said more, but he was here startled by a piteous noise of +crying, and the three found themselves confronted by an old woman +dripping with sea-water, and with an expression on her face of the +utmost misery. They soon recognised her as one of the passengers on the +ship. She told them how she had been floated ashore on a spar, and how +she had been sustained by a little roast pig, that kindly begged her to +eat it, having first lain in her bosom to restore her to warmth. She was +now looking for her son.</p> + +<p>'And if I cannot find him,' said the old woman, 'I shall never smile +again. He has half broken my heart,' she went on, 'by his wicked ways. +But if I thought he was dead—dead in the midst of his sins—it would be +broken altogether; for in that case he must certainly be in hell.'</p> + +<p>'Old woman,' said the Professor, very slowly and solemnly, 'be +comforted. I announce to you that your son is alive.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, bless you, sir, for that word!' cried the old woman. 'But where is +he? Have you seen him? Are you sure that he is living?'</p> + +<p>'I am sure of it,' said the Professor, 'because enlightened thought +shows me that he cannot be anything else. It is true that I saw him sink +for a third time in the sea, and that he was then snapped up by a shark. +But he is as much alive as ever in his posthumous activities. He has +made you wretched after him; and that is his future life. Become an +exact thinker, and you will see that this is so. Old woman,' added the +Professor solemnly, 'old woman, listen to me—<i>You and your son are in +hell.</i>'</p> + +<p>At this the old woman flew into a terrible rage.</p> + +<p>'In hell, sir!' she exclaimed; 'me in hell!—a poor lone woman like me! +How dare you!' And she sank back in a chair and fainted.</p> + +<p>'Alas!' said the Professor, 'thus is misery again introduced into the +world. A fourth part of Humanity is now miserable.'</p> + +<p>The curate answered promptly that if no restoratives were given her, +she would probably die in a few minutes. 'And to let her die,' he said, +'is clearly our solemn duty. It will be for the greatest happiness of +the greatest number.'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor; 'for our sense of pity would then be wounded, +and the happiness of all of us would be marred by that.'</p> + +<p>'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'but exact thought shows me that pity for +others is but the imagining of their misfortune falling on ourselves. +Now, we can none of us imagine ourselves exactly in the old woman's +case; therefore it is quite impossible that we can pity her.'</p> + +<p>'But,' said the Professor, 'such an act would violate our ideas of +justice.'</p> + +<p>'You are wrong again,' said the curate, 'for exact thought shows me that +the love of justice is nothing but the fear of suffering injustice. If +we were to kill strong men, we might naturally fear that strong men +would kill us. But whatever we do to fainting old women, we cannot +expect that fainting old women will do anything to us in return.'</p> + +<p>'Your reasoning cannot be sound,' said the Professor, 'for it would lead +to the most horrible conclusions. I will solve the difficulty better. I +will make the old woman happy, and therefore fit to live. Old woman,' he +exclaimed, 'let me beg you to consider this. You are yourself by your +own unhappiness expiating your son's sins. Do but think of that, and you +will become unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, however, the old woman had died. When the Professor +discovered this he was somewhat shocked; but at length with a sudden +change of countenance, 'We neither of us did it,' he exclaimed; 'her +death is no act of ours. It is part of the eternal not-ourselves that +makes for righteousness—righteousness, which is, as we all know, but +another name for happiness. Let us adore the event with reverence.'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' said the curate, 'we are well rid of her. She was an immoral old +woman, for happiness is the test of morality, and she was very unhappy.'</p> + +<p>'On the contrary,' said the Professor, 'she was a moral old woman; for +she has made us happy by dying so very opportunely. Let us speak well of +the dead. Her death has been a holy and a blessed one. She has conformed +to the laws of matter. Thus is unhappiness destined to fade out of the +world. Quick! let us tie a bag of shot to all the sorrow and evil of +Humanity, which, after all, is only a fourth part of it, and let us sink +her in the bay close at hand, that she may catch lobsters for us.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX.</h3> + + +<p>At last,' said the Professor, as they began dinner that evening, 'the +fulness of time has come. All the evils of Humanity are removed, and +progress has come to an end because it can go no further. We have +nothing now to do but to be unspeakably and significantly happy.'</p> + +<p>The champagne flowed freely. Our friends ate and drank of the best, +their spirits rose, and Virginia admitted that this was really 'jolly.' +The sense of the word pleased the Professor, but its sound seemed below +the gravity of the occasion; so he begged her to say 'sublime' instead. +'We can make it mean,' he said, 'just the same, but we prefer it for the +sake of its associations.'</p> + +<p>It soon, however, occurred to him that eating and drinking were hardly +delights sufficient to justify the highest state of human emotion, and +he began to fear he had been feeling sublime prematurely; but in another +moment he recollected he was an altruist, and that the secret of their +happiness was not that any one of them was happy, but that they each +knew the others were.</p> + +<p>'Yes, my dear curate,' said the Professor, 'what I am enjoying is the +champagne that you drink, and what you are enjoying is the champagne +that I drink. This is altruism; this is benevolence; this is the sublime +outcome of enlightened modern thought. The pleasures of the table, in +themselves, are low and beastly ones; but if we each of us are only glad +because the others are enjoying them, they become holy and glorious +beyond description.'</p> + +<p>'They do,' cried the curate rapturously, 'indeed they do. I will drink +another bottle for your sake. It is sublime!' he said, as he tossed off +three glasses. 'It is significant!' he said as he finished three more. +'Tell me, my dear, do I look significant?' he added, as he turned to +Virginia, and suddenly tried, to crown the general bliss by kissing her.</p> + +<p>Virginia started back, looking fire and fury at him. The Professor was +completely astounded by an occurrence so unnatural, and exclaimed in a +voice of thunder, 'Morality, sir—remember morality! How dare you upset +that which Professor Huxley tells us must be for ever strong enough to +hold its own?'</p> + +<p>But the last glass of champagne had put the curate beyond the reach of +exact thought. He tumbled under the table, and the Professor carried him +off to bed.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X.</h3> + + +<p>The Professor, like most serious thinkers, knew but little of that +trifle commonly called 'the world.' He had never kissed any one except +his wife; even that he did as seldom as possible; and the curate lying +dead drunk was the first glimpse he had of what, <i>par excellence</i>, is +described as 'life.' But though the scene just recounted was thus a +terrible shock to him, in one way it gave him an unlooked-for comfort. +He had felt that even yet things were not quite as sublime as they +should be. He now saw the reason. 'Of course,' he said, 'existence +cannot be perfect so long as one third of Humanity makes a beast of +itself. A little more progress must be still necessary.'</p> + +<p>He hastened to explain this next morning to Virginia, and begged her not +to be alarmed at the curate's scandalous conduct. 'Immorality,' he said, +'is but a want of success in attaining our own happiness. It is +evidently most immoral for the curate to be kissing you; and therefore +kissing you would not really conduce to his happiness. I will convince +him of this solemn truth in a very few moments. Then the essential +dignity of human nature will become at once apparent, and we shall all +of us at last begin to be unspeakably happy.'</p> + +<p>The curate, however, altogether declined to be convinced. He maintained +stoutly that to kiss Virginia would be the greatest pleasure that +Humanity could offer him. 'And if it is immoral as well as pleasant,' he +added, 'I should like it all the better.'</p> + +<p>At this the Professor gave a terrible groan; he dropped almost fainting +into a chair; he hid his face in his hands; and murmured +half-articulately, 'Then I can't tell what to do!' In another instant, +however, he recovered himself; and fixing a dreadful look on the +curate, 'That last statement of yours,' he said, 'cannot be true; for if +it were, it would upset all my theories. It is a fact that can be proved +and verified, that if you kissed Virginia it would make you miserable.'</p> + +<p>'Pardon me,' said the curate, rapidly moving towards her, 'your notion +is a remnant of superstition; I will explode it by a practical +experiment.'</p> + +<p>The Professor caught hold of the curate's coat-tails, and forcibly +pulled him back into his seat.</p> + +<p>'If you dare attempt it,' he said, 'I will kick you soundly, and, +shocking, immoral man! you will feel miserable enough then.'</p> + +<p>The curate was a terrible coward, and very weak as well. 'You are a +great hulking fellow,' he said, eyeing the Professor; 'and I am of a +singularly delicate build. I must, therefore, conform to the laws of +matter, and give in.' He said this in a very sulky voice; and, going out +of the room, slammed the door after him.</p> + +<p>A radiant expression suffused the face of the Professor. 'See,' he said +to Virginia, 'the curate's conversion is already half accomplished. In a +few hours more he will be rational, he will be moral, he will be +solemnly and significantly happy.'</p> + +<p>The Professor talked like this to Virginia the whole morning; but in +spite of all his arguments, she declined to be comforted. 'It is all +very well,' she said, 'whilst you are in the way. But as soon as your +back is turned, I know he will be at me again.'</p> + +<p>'Will you never,' said Paul, by this time a little irritated, 'will you +never listen to exact thought? The curate is now reflecting; and a +little reflection must inevitably convince him that he does not really +care to kiss you, and that it would give him very little real pleasure +to do so.'</p> + +<p>'Stuff!' exclaimed Virginia, with a sudden vigour at which the Professor +was thunderstruck. 'I can tell you,' she went on, 'that better men than +he have borne kicks for my sake; and to kiss me is the only thing that +that little man cares about.—What <i>shall</i> I do?' she exclaimed, +bursting into tears. 'Here is one of you insulting me by trying to kiss +me; and the other insulting me by saying that I am not worth being +kissed!'</p> + +<p>'Ah, me!' groaned the poor Professor in an agony, 'here is one third of +Humanity plunged in sorrow; and another third has not yet freed itself +from vice. When, when, I wonder, will the sublimity begin?'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI.</h3> + + +<p>At dinner, however, things wore a more promising aspect. The curate had +been so terrified by the Professor's threats, that he hardly dared to so +much as look at Virginia; and to make up for it, he drank and drank +champagne, till the strings of his tongue were loosed, and he was +laughing and chattering at a rate that was quite extraordinary. +Virginia, seeing herself thus neglected by the curate, began to fear +that, as Paul said, he really did not so much care to kiss her after +all. She, therefore, put on all her most enticing ways; she talked, +flirted, and smiled her best, and made her most effective eyes, that the +curate might see what a prize was for ever beyond his reach.</p> + +<p>This state of affairs seemed full of glorious promise. Virginia's tears +were dried, she had never looked so radiant and exquisite before. The +curate had foregone every attempt to kiss Virginia, and yet apparently +he was happiness itself; and Paul took him aside, as soon as the meal +was over, to congratulate him on the holy state to which exact thought +had conducted him. 'You see,' Paul said, 'what a natural growth the +loftiest morality is. Virginia doesn't want to be kissed by you. I +should be shocked at your doing so shocking a thing as kissing her. If +you kissed her, you would make both of us miserable; and, as a necessary +consequence, you would be in an agony likewise; in addition to which, I +should inevitably kick you.'</p> + +<p>'But,' said the curate, 'suppose I kissed Virginia on the sly,—I merely +put this as an hypothesis, remember,—and that in a little while she +liked it, what then? She and I would both be happy, and you ought to be +happy too, because we were.'</p> + +<p>'Idiot!' said the Professor. 'Virginia is another man's wife. Nobody +really likes kissing another man's wife; nor do wives ever like kissing +any one except their husbands. What they really like is what Professor +Huxley calls "the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good," +which, as he says, exact thought shows us is the true end of existence. +But, pooh! what is the use of all this talking? You know which way your +higher nature calls you; and, of course, unless men believe in God, they +cannot help obeying their higher nature.'</p> + +<p>'I,' said the curate, 'think the belief in God a degrading superstition; +I think every one an imbecile who believes a miracle possible. And yet +I do not care two straws about the highest good. What you call my lower +nature is far the strongest; I mean to follow it to the best of my +ability; and I prefer calling it my higher, for the sake of the +associations.'</p> + +<p>This plunged the Professor in deeper grief than ever. He knew not what +to do. He paced up and down the verandah, or about the rooms, and moaned +and groaned as if he had a violent toothache. Virginia and the curate +asked what was amiss with him. 'I am agonising,' he said, 'for the sake +of holy, solemn, unspeakably dignified Humanity.'</p> + +<p>The curate, seeing the Professor thus dejected, by degrees took heart +again, and as Virginia still continued her fascinating behaviour to him, +he resolved to try and prove to her that, the test of morality being +happiness, the most moral thing she could do would be to allow him to +kiss her. No sooner had he begun to propound these views, than the +Professor gave over his groaning, seized the curate by the collar, and +dragged him out of the room with a roughness that nearly throttled him.</p> + +<p>'I was but propounding a theory—an opinion,' gasped the curate. 'Surely +thought is free. You will not persecute me for my opinions?'</p> + +<p>'It is not for your opinions,' said the Professor, 'but for the +horrible effect they might have. Opinions,' he roared, 'can only be +tolerated which have no possible consequences. You may promulgate any of +those as much as you like; because to do that would be a self-regarding +action.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII.</h3> + + +<p>'Well,' said the curate, 'if I may not kiss Virginia, I will drink +brandy instead. That will make me happy enough; and then we shall all be +radiant.'</p> + +<p>He soon put his resolve into practice. He got a bottle of brandy, he sat +himself down under a palm-tree, and told the Professor he was going to +make an afternoon of it.</p> + +<p>'Foolish man!' said the Professor; 'I was never drunk myself, it is +true; but I know that to get drunk makes one's head ache horribly. To +get drunk is, therefore, horribly immoral; and therefore I cannot permit +it.'</p> + +<p>'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'it is a self-regarding action. Nobody's +head will ache but mine; so that is my own look-out. I have been +expelled from school, from college, and from my first curacy for +drinking. So I know well enough the balance of pains and pleasures.'</p> + +<p>Here he pulled out his brandy bottle, and applied his lips to it.</p> + +<p>'Oh, Humanity!' he exclaimed, 'how solemn this brandy tastes!'</p> + +<p>Matters went on like this for several days. The curate was too much +frightened to again approach Virginia. Virginia at last became convinced +that he did not care about kissing her. Her vanity was wounded, and she +became sullen; and this made the Professor sullen also. In fact, two +thirds of Humanity were overcast with gloom. The only happy section of +it was the curate, who alternately smoked and drank all day long.</p> + +<p>'The nasty little beast!' said Virginia to the Professor, 'he is nearly +always drunk. I am beginning quite to like you, Paul, by comparison +with him. Let us turn him out, and not let him live in the cottage.'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor; 'for he is one third of Humanity. You do not +properly appreciate the solidarity of mankind. His existence, however, I +admit is a great difficulty.'</p> + +<p>One day at dinner-time, shortly afterwards, Paul came in radiant.</p> + +<p>'Oh holy, oh happy event!' he exclaimed; 'all will go right at last.'</p> + +<p>Virginia inquired anxiously what had happened, and Paul informed her +that the curate, who had got more drunk than usual that afternoon, had +fallen over a cliff, and been dashed to pieces.</p> + +<p>'What event,' he asked, 'could be more charming more unspeakably holy? +It bears about it every mark of sanctity. It is for the greatest +happiness of the greatest number. Come,' he continued, 'let you and me +together, purged of sin, and purged of sorrow as we are—let us begin +our love-feast. Let us each seek the happiness of the other. Let us +instantly be sublime and happy.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a>CHAPTER XIII.</h3> + + +<p>'The supreme moment is come,' said Paul solemnly, as they sat down to +dinner. 'Let us prepare ourselves for realising to the full the +essential dignity of Humanity—that <i>grand être</i>, which has come, in the +course of progress, to consist of you and me. Virginia, consider this. +Every condition of happiness that modern thinkers have dreamed of is now +fulfilled. We have but to seek each the happiness of the other, and we +shall both be in a solemn, a significant, and unspeakable state of +rapture. See, here is an exquisite leg of mutton. I,' said Paul, who +liked the fat best, 'I will give up all the fat to you.'</p> + +<p>'And I,' said Virginia, resignedly, 'will give up all the lean to you,'</p> + +<p>A few mouthfuls made Virginia feel sick. 'I confess,' said she, 'I can't +get on with this fat.'</p> + +<p>'I confess,' the Professor answered, 'I don't exactly like this lean.'</p> + +<p>'Then let us,' said Virginia, 'be like Jack Sprat and his wife.'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor, meditatively, 'that is quite inadmissible. For +in that case we should be egoistic hedonists. However, for to-day it +shall be as you say. I will think of something better to-morrow.'</p> + +<p>Next day he and Virginia had a chicken apiece; only Virginia's was put +before Paul, and Paul's before Virginia; and they each walked round the +table to supply each other with the slightest necessaries.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' cried Paul, 'this is altruism indeed. I think already I can feel +the sublimity beginning.'</p> + +<p>Virginia liked this rather better. But soon she committed the sin of +taking for herself the liver of Paul's chicken. As soon as she had eaten +the whole of it her conscience began to smite her. She confessed her +sin to Paul, and inquired, with some anxiety, if he thought she would go +to hell for it? 'Metaphorically,' said Paul, 'you have already done so. +You are punished by the loss of the pleasure you would have had in +giving that liver to me, and also by your knowledge of my knowledge of +your folly in foregoing the pleasure.'</p> + +<p>Virginia was much relieved by this answer; she at once took several more +of the Professor's choicest bits, and was happy in the thought that her +sins were expiated in the very act of their commission, by the latent +pain she felt persuaded they were attended by. Feeling that this was +sufficient, she took care not to add Paul's disapproval to her +punishment, so she never told him again.</p> + +<p>For a short time this practice of altruism seemed to Virginia to have +many advantages. But though the Professor was always exclaiming, 'How +significant is human life by the very nature of its constitution!' she +very soon found it a trifle dull. Luckily, however, she hit upon a new +method of exercising morality, and, as the Professor fully admitted, of +giving it a yet more solemn significance.</p> + +<p>The Professor having by some accident lost his razors, his moustaches +had begun to grow profusely, and Virginia had watched them with a deep +but half-conscious admiration. At last, in a happy moment, she +exclaimed, 'Oh, Paul, do let me wax the ends for you,' Paul at first +giggled, blushed, and protested, but, as Virginia assured him it would +make her happy, he consented. 'Then,' she said, 'you will know that I am +happy, and that in return will make you happy also. Ah!' she exclaimed +when the operation was over, 'do go and examine yourself in the glass. I +declare you look exactly like Jack Barley—Barley-Sugar, as we used to +call him—of the Blues.'</p> + +<p>Virginia smiled; suddenly she blushed; the Professor blushed also. To +cover the blushes she begged to be allowed to do his hair. 'It will make +me so much happier, Paul,' she said. The Professor again assented, that +he might make Virginia happy, and that she might be happy in knowing +that he was happy in promoting her happiness. At last the Professor, shy +and awkward as he was, was emboldened to offer to do Virginia's hair in +return. She allowed him to arrange her fringe, and, as she found he did +no great harm to it, she let him repeat the operation as often as he +liked.</p> + +<p>A week thus passed, full, as the Professor said, of infinite solemnity. +'I admit, Paul,' sighed Virginia, 'that this altruism, as you call it, +is very touching. I like it very much. But,' she added, sinking her +voice to a whisper, 'are you quite sure, Paul, that it is perfectly +moral?'</p> + +<p>'Moral!' echoed the Professor, 'moral! Why, exact thought shows us that +it is the very essence of all morality!'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV.</h3> + + +<p>Matters now went on charmingly. All existence seemed to take a richer +colouring, and there was something, Paul said, which, in Professor +Tyndall's words, 'gave fulness and tone to it, but which he could +neither analyse nor comprehend.' But at last a change came. One morning, +whilst Virginia was arranging Paul's moustaches, she was frightened +almost into a fit by a sudden apparition at the window. It was a +hideous hairy figure, perfectly naked but for a band of silver which it +wore about its neck. For a moment it did nothing but grin and stare; +then, uttering a discordant scream, it flung into Virginia's lap a +filthy piece of carrion, and in an instant it had bounded away with an +almost miraculous activity.</p> + +<p>Virginia shrieked with disgust and terror, and clung to Paul's knees for +protection. He, however, in some strange way, seemed unmoved and +preoccupied. All at once, to her intense surprise, she saw his face +light up with an expression of triumphant eagerness. 'The missing link!' +he exclaimed, 'the missing link at last! Thank God.—I beg pardon for +my unspeakable blasphemy—I mean, thank circumstances over which I have +no control. I must this instant go out and hunt for it. Give me some +provisions in a knapsack, for I will not come back till I have caught +it.'</p> + +<p>This was a fearful blow to Virginia. She fell at Paul's feet weeping, +and besought him in piteous accents that he would not thus abandon her.</p> + +<p>'I must,' said the Professor solemnly, 'for I am going in pursuit of +Truth. To arrive at Truth is man's perfect and most rapturous happiness. +You must surely know that, even if I have forgotten to tell it to you. +To pursue truth—holy truth for holy truth's sake—is a more solemn +pleasure than even frizzling your hair.'</p> + +<p>'Oh,' cried. Virginia, hysterically, 'I don't care two straws for truth. +What on earth is the good of it?'</p> + +<p>'It is its own end,' said the Professor. 'It is its own exceeding great +reward. I must be off at once in search of it. Good-bye for the present. +Seek truth on your own account, and be unspeakably happy also, because +you know that I am seeking it.'</p> + +<p>The Professor remained away for three days. For the first two of them +Virginia was inconsolable. She wandered about mournfully with her head +dejected. She very often sighed; she very often uttered the name of +Paul. At last she surprised herself by exclaiming aloud to the +irresponsive solitude, 'Oh, Paul, until you were gone, I never knew how +passionately I loved you.' No sooner were these words out of her mouth +than she stood still, horror-stricken. 'Alas!' she cried, 'and have I +really come to this? I am in a state of deadly sin, and there is no +priest here to confess to! Alone, alone I must conquer my forbidden love +as I may. But, ah me, what a guilty thing I am!'</p> + +<p>As she uttered these words, her eyes fell on a tin box of the +Professor's, marked 'Private,' which he always kept carefully locked, +and which had before now excited her curiosity. Suddenly she became +conscious of a new impulse. 'I will pursue truth!' she exclaimed. 'I +will break that box open, and I will see what is inside it. Ah!' she +added, as with the aid of the poker she at last wrenched off the +padlock. 'Paul may be right, after all. There is more interest in the +pursuit of truth than I thought there was.'</p> + +<p>The box was full of papers, letters, and diaries, the greater part of +which were marked 'Strictly private.' Seeing this, Virginia's appetite +for truth became keener than ever. She instantly began her researches. +The more she read, the more eager she became; and the more private +appeared the nature of the documents, the more insatiable did her +thirst for truth grow. To her extreme surprise, she gathered that the +Professor had begun life as a clergyman. There were several photographs +of him in his surplice; and a number of devout prayers, apparently +composed by himself for his own personal use. This discovery was the +result of her labours.</p> + +<p>'Certainly,' she said, 'it is one of extreme significance. If Paul was a +priest once, he must be a priest now. Orders are indelible—at least in +the Church of England I know they are.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV"></a>CHAPTER XV.</h3> + + +<p>Paul came back, to Virginia's extreme relief, without the missing link. +But he was still radiant in spite of his failure; for he had discovered, +he said, a place where the creature had apparently slept, and he had +collected in a card-paper box a large number of its parasites.</p> + +<p>'I am glad,' said Virginia, 'that you have not found the missing link: +though as to thinking that we really came from monkeys, of course that +is too absurd. Now if you could have brought me a nice monkey, I should +really have liked that. The Bishop has promised that I shall have a +darling one, if I ever reach him—ah me!—if——Paul,' continued +Virginia, in a very solemn voice, after a long pause, 'do you know that +whilst you have been away I have been pursuing truth? I rather liked it; +and I found it very, very significant.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, joy!' exclaimed the Professor. 'Oh, unspeakable radiance! Oh, holy, +oh essentially dignified Humanity! it will very soon be perfect! Tell +me, Virginia, what truths have you been discovering?'</p> + +<p>'One truth about you, Paul,' said Virginia, very gravely, 'and one +truth about me. I burn—oh, I burn to tell them to you!'</p> + +<p>The Professor was enraptured to hear that one half of Humanity had been +thus studying human nature; and he began asking Virginia if her +discoveries belonged to the domain of historical or biological science. +Meanwhile Virginia had flung herself on her knees before him, and was +exclaiming, in piteous accents—</p> + +<p>'By my fault, by my own fault, by my very grievous fault, holy father, I +confess to you——'</p> + +<p>'Is the woman mad?' cried the Professor, starting up from his seat.</p> + +<p>'You are a priest, Paul,' said Virginia; 'that is one of the things I +have discovered. I am in a state of deadly sin; that is the other: and I +must and will confess to you. Once a priest, always a priest. You cannot +get rid of your orders, and you must and shall hear me.'</p> + +<p>'I was once in orders, it is true,' said Paul, reluctantly; 'but how did +you find out my miserable secret?'</p> + +<p>'In my zeal for truth,' said Virginia, 'I broke open your tin box; I +read all your letters; I looked at your early photographs; I saw all +your beautiful prayers.'</p> + +<p>'You broke open my box!' cried the Professor. 'You read my letters and +my private papers! Oh, horrible! oh, immoral! What shall we do if one +half of Humanity has no feeling of honour?'</p> + +<p>'Oh!' said Virginia, 'it was all for the love of truth—of solemn and +holy truth. I sacrificed every other feeling for that. But I have not +told you my truth yet; and I am determined you shall hear it, or I must +still remain in my sins. Paul, I am a married woman; and I discover, in +spite of that, that I have fallen in love with you. My husband, it is +true, is far away; and whatever we do, he could never possibly be the +wiser. But I am in a state of mortal sin, nevertheless; and I would +give anything in the world if you would only kiss me.'</p> + +<p>'Woman!' exclaimed Paul, aghast with fright and horror, 'do you dare to +abuse truth, by turning it to such base purposes?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, you are so clever,' Virginia went on, 'and when the ends of your +moustaches are waxed, you look positively handsome; and I love you so +deeply and so tenderly, that I shall certainly go to hell if you do not +give me absolution.'</p> + +<p>At this the Professor jumped up, and, staring very hard at Virginia, +asked her if, after all that he had said on the ship, she really +believed in such exploded fallacies as hell, God, and priestcraft.</p> + +<p>She reminded him that he had preached there without a surplice, and that +she had therefore not thought it right to listen to a word he said.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' cried the Professor, with a sigh of intense relief, 'I see it all +now. How can Humanity ever be unspeakably holy so long as one half of it +grovels in dreams of an unspeakably holy God? As Mr. Frederic Harrison +truly says, a want of faith in "the essential dignity of man is one of +the surest marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a +celestial glory."' The Professor accordingly re-delivered to Virginia +the entire substance of his lectures in the ship. He fully impressed on +her that all the intellect of the world was on the side of Humanity; and +that God's existence could be disproved with a box of chemicals. He was +agreeably surprised at finding her not at all unwilling to be convinced, +and extremely unexacting in her demands for proof. In a few days she had +not a remnant of superstition left. 'At last!' exclaimed the Professor; +'it has come at last. Unspeakable happiness will surely begin now.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI"></a>CHAPTER XVI.</h3> + + +<p>No one now could possibly be more emancipated than Virginia. She +tittered all day long and whenever the Professor asked her why, she +always told him she was thinking of 'an intelligent First Cause,' a +conception which she said 'was really quite killing.' But when her first +burst of intellectual excitement was over, she became more serious. 'All +thought, Paul,' she said, 'is valuable mainly because it leads to +action. Come, my love, my dove, my beauty, and let us kiss each other +all daylong. Let us enjoy the charming license which exact thought shows +us we shall never be punished for.'</p> + +<p>This was a result of freedom that the Professor had never bargained for. +He could not understand it, 'because,' he argued, 'if people were to +reason in that way, morality would at once cease to be possible.' But he +had seen so much of the world lately, that he soon recovered himself, +and recollecting that immorality was only ignorance, he began to show +Virginia where her error lay—-her one remaining error. 'I perceive,' he +said, 'that you are ignorant of one of the greatest triumphs of exact +thought—the distinction it has established between the lower and the +higher pleasures. Philosophers, who have thought the whole thing over in +their studies, have become sure that as soon as the latter are presented +to men they will at once leave all and follow them.'</p> + +<p>'They must be very nice pleasures,' said Virginia, 'if they would make +me leave kissing you for the sake of them.'</p> + +<p>'They <i>are</i> nice,' said the Professor. 'They are the pleasures of the +imagination, the intellect, and the glorious apprehension of truth. +Compared with these, kissing me would be quite insipid. Remain here for +a moment, whilst I go to fetch something, and you shall then begin to +taste them.'</p> + +<p>In a few moments Paul came back again, and found Virginia in a state of +intense expectancy.</p> + +<p>'Now—,' he exclaimed triumphantly.</p> + +<p>'Now—,' exclaimed Virginia, with a beating heart.</p> + +<p>The Professor put his hand in his pocket, and drew slowly forth from it +an object which Virginia knew well. It reminded her of the most innocent +period of her life; but she hated the very sight of it none the less. It +was a Colenso's Arithmetic.</p> + +<p>'Come,' said the Professor, 'no truths are so pure and necessary as +those of mathematics; you shall at once begin the glorious apprehension +of them.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, Paul,' cried Virginia, in an agony, 'but I really don't care for +truth at all; and you know that when I broke your tin box open and read +your private letters in my search for it, you were very angry with me.'</p> + +<p>'Ah!' said Paul, holding up his finger, 'but those were not necessary +truths. Truths about human action and character are not necessary +truths; therefore men of science care nothing about them, and they have +no place in scientific systems of ethics. Pure truths are of a very +different character; and, however much you may misunderstand your own +inclinations, you can really care for nothing so much as doing a few +sums. I will set you some very easy ones to begin with, and you shall do +them by yourself, whilst I magnify in the next room the parasites of the +missing link.'</p> + +<p>Virginia saw that there was no help for it. She did her sums by herself +the whole morning, which, as at school she had been very good at +arithmetic, was not a hard task for her, and Paul magnified parasites in +the next room, and prepared slides for his microscope.</p> + +<p>When they met again, Paul began skipping and dancing, as if he had gone +quite out of his senses, and every now and then between the skips he +gave a sepulchral groan. Virginia asked him in astonishment what on +earth was the matter with him.</p> + +<p>'Matter!' he exclaimed. 'Why, Humanity is at last perfect! All the evils +of existence are removed; we neither of us believe in a God or a +celestial future; and we are both in full enjoyment of the higher +pleasures and the apprehension of scientific truth. And therefore I skip +because Humanity is so unspeakably happy, and I groan because it is so +unspeakably solemn.'</p> + +<p>'Alas! alas!' cried Virginia, 'and would not you like to kiss me?'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor, sternly; 'and you would not like me to kiss +you. It is impossible that one half of Humanity should prefer the +pleasure of unlawful love to the pleasure of finding out scientific +truths.'</p> + +<p>'But,' pleaded Virginia, 'cannot we enjoy both?'</p> + +<p>'No,' said the Professor, 'for if I began to kiss you I should soon not +care two straws about the parasites of the missing link.'</p> + +<p>'Well, said Virginia, 'it is nice of you to say that; but still——Ah +me! Ah me!'</p> + +<p>And her bosom heaved slowly with a soft, long sigh.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XVII" id="CHAPTER_XVII"></a>CHAPTER XVII.</h3> + + +<p>Virginia was preparing, with a rueful face, to resume her enjoyment of +the higher pleasures, when a horrible smell, like that of an open drain, +was suddenly blown in through the window.</p> + +<p>Virginia stopped her nose with her handkerchief. The Professor's conduct +was very different.</p> + +<p>'Oh, rapture!' he cried, jumping up from his seat, 'I smell the missing +link.' And in another instant he was gone.</p> + +<p>'Well,' said Virginia, 'here is one comfort. Whilst Paul is away I shall +be relieved from the higher pleasures. Alas!' she cried, as she flung +herself down on the sofa, 'he is so nice-looking, and such an +enlightened thinker. But it is plain he has never loved, or else very +certainly he would love again.'</p> + +<p>Paul returned in about a couple of hours, again unsuccessful in his +search.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'I am so glad you have not caught the creature!'</p> + +<p>'Glad!' echoed the Professor, 'glad! Do you know that till I have caught +the missing link the cause of glorious truth will suffer grievously? +The missing link is the token of the solemn fact of our origin from +inorganic matter. I did but catch one blessed glimpse of him. He had +certainly a silver band about his neck. He was about three feet high. He +was rolling in a lump of carrion. It is through him that we are related +to the stars—the holy, the glorious stars, about which we know so +little.'</p> + +<p>'Bother the stars!' said Virginia; 'I couldn't bear, Paul, that anything +should come between you and me. I have been thinking of you and longing +for you the whole time you have been away.'</p> + +<p>'What!' cried Paul, 'and how have you been able to forego the pleasures +of the intellect?'</p> + +<p>'I have deserted them,' cried Virginia, 'for the pleasures of the +imagination, which I gathered from you were also very ennobling. And I +found they were so; for I have been imagining that you loved me. Why is +the reality less ennobling than the imagination? Paul, you shall love +me; I will force you to love me. It will make us both so happy: we shall +never go to hell for it; and it cannot possibly cause the slightest +scandal.'</p> + +<p>The Professor was more bewildered than ever by these appeals. He +wondered how Humanity would ever get on if one half of it cared nothing +for pure truth, and persisted in following the vulgar impulses that had +been the most distinguishing feature of its benighted past—that is to +say, those ages of its existence of which any record has been preserved +for us. Luckily, however, Virginia came to his assistance.</p> + +<p>'I think I know, Paul,' she said, 'why I do not care as I should do for +the intellectual pleasures. We have both been seeking them by ourselves; +and we have been therefore egoistic hedonists. It is quite true, as you +say, that selfishness is a despicable thing. Let me,' she went on, +sitting down beside him, 'look through your microscope along with you. +I think perhaps, if we shared the pleasure, the missing link's parasites +might have some interest for me.'</p> + +<p>The Professor was overjoyed at this proposal. The two sat down side by +side, and tried their best to look simultaneously through the eye-piece +of the microscope. Virginia in a moment expressed herself much +satisfied. It is true they saw nothing; but their cheeks touched. The +Professor too seemed contented, and said they should both be in a state +of rapture when they had got the right focus. At last Virginia +whispered, with a soft smile—</p> + +<p>'Suppose we put that nasty microscope aside; it is only in the way. And +then, oh, Paul; dear love, dove of a Paul! we can kiss each other to our +heart's content.'</p> + +<p>Paul thought Virginia quite incorrigible, and rushed headlong out of the +room.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XVIII" id="CHAPTER_XVIII"></a>CHAPTER XVIII.</h3> + + +<p>'Alas!' cried Paul, 'what can be done to convince one half of Humanity +that it is really devoted to the higher pleasures and does not care for +the lower—at least nothing to speak of?' The poor man was in a state of +dreadful perplexity, and felt wellnigh distracted. At last a light broke +in on him. He remembered that as one of his most revered masters, +Professor Tyndall, had admitted, a great part of Humanity would always +need a religion, and that Virginia now had none. He at once rushed back +to her. 'Ah!' he exclaimed, 'all is explained now. You cannot be in love +with me, for that would be unlawful passion. Unlawful passion is +unreasonable, and unreasonable passion would quite upset a system of +pure reason, which is what exact thought shows us is soon going to +govern the world. No! the emotions that you fancy are directed to me are +in reality cosmic emotion—in other words, are the reasonable religion +of the future. I must now initiate you in its solemn and unspeakably +significant worship.'</p> + +<p>'Religion!' exclaimed Virginia, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. +'It is not kind of you to be making fun of me. There is no God, no soul, +and no supernatural order, and above all there is no hell. How then can +you talk to me about religion?'</p> + +<p>'You,' replied Paul, 'are associating religion with theology, as indeed +the world hitherto always has done. But those two things, as Professor +Huxley well observes, have absolutely nothing to do with each other. "It +may be," says that great teacher, "that the object of a man's religion +is an ideal of sensual enjoyment, or——"'</p> + +<p>'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'that is my religion, Paul.'</p> + +<p>'Nonsense!' replied Paul; 'that cannot be the religion of half Humanity, +else high, holy, solemn, awful morality would never be able to stand on +its own basis. See, the night has fallen, the glorious moon has arisen, +the stupendous stars are sparkling in the firmament. Come down with me +to the sea-shore, where we may be face to face with nature, and I will +show you then what true religion—what true worship is.'</p> + +<p>The two went out together. They stood on the smooth sands, which +glittered white and silvery in the dazzling moonlight All was hushed. +The gentle murmur of the trees, and the soft splash of the sea, seemed +only to make the silence audible. The Professor paused close beside +Virginia, and took her hand. Virginia liked that, and thought that +religion without theology was not perhaps so bad after all. Meanwhile +Paul had fixed his eyes on the moon. Then, in a voice almost broken with +emotion, he whispered, 'The prayer of the man of science, it has been +said, must be for the most part of the silent sort. He who said that was +wrong. It need not be silent; it need only be inarticulate. I have +discovered an audible and a reasonable liturgy which will give utterance +to the full to the religion of exact thought. Let us both join our +voices, and let us croon at the moon.'</p> + +<p>The Professor at once began a long, low howling. Virginia joined him, +until she was out of breath.</p> + +<p>'Oh, Paul,' she said at last, 'is this more rational than the Lord's +Prayer?'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' said the Professor, 'for we can analyse and comprehend that; but +true religious feeling, as Professor Tyndall tells us, we can neither +analyse nor comprehend. See how big nature is, and how little—ah, how +little!—we know about it. Is it not solemn, and sublime, and awful? +Come let us howl again.'</p> + +<p>The Professor's devotional fervour grew every moment. At last he put his +hand to his mouth, and began hooting like an owl, till it seemed that +all the island echoed to him. The louder Paul hooted and howled, the +more near did he draw to Virginia.</p> + +<p>'Ah!' he said, as he put his arm about her waist, 'it is in solemn +moments like this that the solidarity of mankind becomes apparent.'</p> + +<p>Virginia, during the last few moments, had stuck her fingers in her +ears. She now took them out, and, throwing her arms round Paul's neck, +tried, with her cheek on his shoulder, to make another little hoot; but +the sound her lips formed was much more like a kiss. The power of +religion was at last too much for Paul.</p> + +<p>'For the sake of cosmic emotion,' he exclaimed, 'O other half of +Humanity, and for the sake of rational religion, both of which are +showing themselves under quite a new light to me, I will kiss you.'</p> + +<p>The Professor was bending down his face over her, when, as if by magic, +he started, stopped, and remained as one petrified. Amidst the sharp +silence, there rang a human shout from the rocks.</p> + +<p>'Oh!' shrieked Virginia, falling on her knees, 'it is a miracle! it is a +miracle! And I know—merciful heavens—I know the meaning of it. God is +angry with us for pretending that we do not believe on Him.'</p> + +<p>The Professor was as white as a sheet; but he struggled with his +perturbation manfully.</p> + +<p>'It is not a miracle,' he cried, 'but an hallucination. It is an axiom +with exact thinkers that all proofs of the miraculous are +hallucinations.'</p> + +<p>'See,' shrieked Virginia again, 'they are coming, they are coming. Do +not you see them?'</p> + +<p>Paul looked, and there sure enough, were two figures, a male and a +female, advancing slowly towards them, across the moonlit sand.</p> + +<p>'It is nothing,' cried Paul; 'it cannot possibly be anything. I protest, +in the name of science, that it is an optical delusion.'</p> + +<p>Suddenly the female figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is he!'</p> + +<p>In another moment the male figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is she!'</p> + +<p>'My husband!' gasped Virginia.</p> + +<p>'My wife!' replied the bishop, for it was none other than he. 'Welcome +to Chasuble Island. By the blessing of God it is on your own home you +have been wrecked, and you have been living in the very house that I had +intended to prepare for you. Providentially, too, Professor Darnley's +wife has called here, in her search for her husband, who has overstayed +his time. See, my love, my dove, my beauty, here is the monkey I +promised you as a pet, which broke loose a few days ago, and which I was +in the act of looking for when your joint cries attracted us, and we +found you.'</p> + +<p>A yell of delight here broke from the Professor. The eyes of the others +were turned on him, and he was seen embracing wildly a monkey which the +bishop led by a chain. 'The missing link! he exclaimed, 'the missing +link!'</p> + +<p>'Nonsense!' cried the sharp tones of a lady with a green gown and grey +corkscrew curls. 'It is nothing but a monkey that the good bishop has +been trying to tame for his wife. Don't you see her name engraved on +the collar?'</p> + +<p>The shrill accents acted like a charm upon Paul. He sprang away from the +creature that he had been just caressing. He gazed for a moment on +Virginia's lovely form, her exquisite toilette, and her melting eyes. +Then he turned wildly to the green gown and the grey corkscrew curls. +Sorrow and superstition, he felt, were again invading Humanity. 'Alas!' +he exclaimed at last, 'I do now indeed believe in hell.'</p> + +<p>'And I,' cried Virginia, with much greater tact, and rushing into the +arms of her bishop, 'once more believe in heaven.'</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="NOTES" id="NOTES"></a>NOTES.</h3> + + +<p>'We now find it (<i>the earth</i>) not only swathed by an atmosphere, and +covered by a sea, but also crowded with living things. The question is, +how were they introduced?... The conclusion of science would undoubtedly +be, that the molten earth contained within it elements of life, which +grouped themselves into their present forms as the planet cooled. The +difficulty and reluctance encountered by this conception arise <i>solely</i> +from the fact that the theologic conception obtained a prior footing in +the human mind.... Were not man's origin implicated, we should accept +without a murmur the derivation of animal and vegetable life from what +we call inorganic nature. The conclusion of pure intellect points this +way, and no other.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'Is this egg (<i>from which the human being springs</i>) matter? I hold it to +be so, as much as the seed of a fern or of an oak. Nine months go to +the making of it into a man. Are the additions made during this period +of gestation drawn from matter? I think so, undoubtedly. If there be +anything besides matter in the egg, or in the infant subsequently +slumbering in the womb, what is it?' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'Matter I define as the mysterious thing by which all this is +accomplished.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'I do not think that the materialist is entitled to say that his +molecular groupings and motions explain everything. In reality, they +<i>explain</i> nothing. <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'Who shall exaggerate the deadly influence on personal morality of those +theologies which have represented the Deity ... as a sort of pedantic +drill-sergeant of mankind, to whom no valour, no long-tried loyalty, +could atone for the misplacement of a button of the uniform, or the +misunderstanding of a paragraph of the "regulations and instructions"?' +<span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'(<i>To the Jesuit imagination</i>) God is obviously a large individual, who +holds the leading-strings of the universe, and orders its steps from a +position outside it all.... According to it (<i>this notion</i>) the Power +whom Goethe does not dare to name, and whom Gassendi and Clark Maxwell +present to us under the guise of a manufacturer of atoms, turns out +annually, for England and Wales alone, a quarter of a million of new +souls. Taken in connection with the dictum of Mr. Carlyle, that this +annual increment to our population are "mostly fools," but little profit +to the human heart seems derivable from this mode of regarding the +divine operations.... In the presence of this mystery (<i>the mystery of +life</i>) the notion of an atomic manufacturer and artificer of souls, +raises the doubt whether those who entertain it were ever really +penetrated by the solemnity of the problem for which they offer such a +solution.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'I look forward, however, to a time when the strength, insight, and +elevation which now visit us in mere hints and glimpses, during moments +of clearness and vigour, shall be the stable and permanent possession +of purer and mightier minds than ours—purer and mightier, partly +because of their deeper knowledge of matter, and their more faithful +conformity to its laws.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'The world, as it is, is growing daily dimmer before my eyes. The world, +as it is to be, is ever growing brighter.' <span class="quote">HARRIET MARTINEAU</span>.</p> + +<p>'... When you and I, like streaks of morning cloud, shall have melted +into the infinite azure of the past.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'We, too, turn our thoughts to that which is behind the veil. We strive +to pierce its secret with eyes, we trust, as eager and as fearless, and +even, it may be, more patient in searching for realities behind the +gloom. That which shall come <i>after</i> is no less solemn to us than to +you.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'Theological hypotheses of a new and heterogeneous existence have +deadened our interest in the realities, the grandeur, and the perpetuity +of an earthly life.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'As we read, the calm and humane words of Condorcet, on the very edge of +his yawning grave, we learn, from the conviction of posthumous activity +(not posthumous fame), how the consciousness of a living incorporation +with the glorious future of his race, can give a patience and happiness +equal to that of any martyr of theology.... Once make it (<i>i.e.</i> "this +sense of posthumous participation in the life of our fellows") the basis +of philosophy, the standard of right and wrong, and the centre of a +religion, and this (<i>the conversion of the masses</i>) will prove, perhaps, +an easier task than that of teaching Greeks and Romans, Syrians and +Moors, to look forward to a life of ceaseless psalmody in an immaterial +heaven.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'We make the future life, in the truest sense, social, inasmuch as our +future is simply an active existence prolonged by society; and our +future life rests not in any vague yearning, of which we have as little +evidence as we have definite conception: it rests on a perfectly certain +truth ... that the actions, feelings, thoughts, of each one of us, do +marvellously influence and mould each other.... Can we conceive a more +potent stimulus to rectitude, to daily and hourly striving after a true +life, than this ever-present sense that we are indeed immortal; not that +we have an immortal something within us—but that in very truth we +ourselves, our thinking, feeling, acting personalities, are immortal?' +<span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'As we <i>live for others</i> in life, so we <i>live in others</i> after death.... +How deeply does such a belief as this bring home to each moment of life +the mysterious perpetuity of ourselves! For good, for evil, we cannot +die. We cannot shake ourselves free from this eternity of our +faculties.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'We cannot even say that we shall continue to love; but we know that we +shall be loved.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'It is only when an earthly future is the fulfilment of a worthy earthly +life, that we can see the majesty, as well as the glory, of the world +beyond the grave; and then only will it fulfil its moral and religious +purpose as the great guide of human conduct.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'I am confident that a brighter day is coming for future generations.' +<span class="quote">HARRIET MARTINEAU</span>.</p> + +<p>'The humblest life that ever turned a sod sends a wave—no, more than a +wave, a life—through the evergrowing harmony of human society.' <span class="quote">MR. +FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'Not a single nature, in its entirety, but leaves its influence for good +or for evil. <i>As a fact, the good prevail</i>.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<p>'To our friends and loved ones we shall give the most worthy honour and +tribute if we never say nor remember that they are dead, but, +contrariwise, that they have lived; that hereby the brotherly force and +flow of their action and work may be carried over the gulf of death, and +made immortal in the true and healthy life which they worthily had and +used.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR CLIFFORD</span>.</p> + +<p>'It cannot be doubted that the "spiritual body" of this book (<i>The +Unseen Universe</i>) will be used to support a belief that the dead are +subject either to the <i>shame and suffering of a Christian Heaven</i> and +Hell, or to the degrading service of a modern witch. From <i>each</i> of +these <i>unspeakable profanities</i> let us hope and endeavour that the +memories of great and worthy men may be finally relieved.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR +CLIFFORD</span>.</p> + +<p>'I choose the noble part of Emerson, when, after various +disenchantments, he exclaimed, "I covet truth." The gladness of true +heroism visits the heart of him who is really competent to say this.' +<span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'The highest, as it is the only, content is to be attained, not by +grovelling in the rank and steaming valleys of sense, but by continually +striving towards those high peaks, when, resting in eternal calm, reason +discerns the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good—"a cloud by +day, a pillar of fire by night."' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'If it can be shown by observation and experiment, that theft, murder, +and adultery, do not tend to diminish the happiness of society, then, in +the absence of any but natural knowledge, they are not social +immoralities.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'For my own part, I do not for one moment admit that morality is not +strong enough to hold its own.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'I object to the very general use of the terms religion and theology, as +if they were synonymous, or <i>indeed had anything whatever to do with one +another</i>.... Religion is an affair of the affections. It may be that the +object of a man's religion—the ideal which he worships—is an ideal of +sensual enjoyment.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR HUXLEY</span>.</p> + +<p>'In his hour of health ... when the pause of reflection has set in, the +scientific investigator finds himself overshadowed with the same awe. It +associates him with a power which gives fulness and tone to his +existence, but which he can neither analyse nor comprehend.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR +TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'He will see what drivellers even men of strenuous intellects may +become,' though exclusively dwelling and dealing with theological +chimeras. <span class="quote">PROFESSOR TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'The two kinds of cosmic emotion run together and become one. The +microcosm is viewed only in relation to human action, nature is +presented to the emotions as the guide and teacher of humanity. And the +microcosm is viewed only as tending to complete correspondence with the +external; human conduct is subject for reverence only in so far as it is +consonant to the demiurgic law, in harmony with the teaching of divine +Nature.' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR CLIFFORD</span>.</p> + +<p>'The world will have religion of some kind, even though it should fly +for it to the intellectual whoredom of "spiritualism."' <span class="quote">PROFESSOR +TYNDALL</span>.</p> + +<p>'All positive methods of treating man, of a comprehensive kind, adopt to +the full all that has ever been said about the dignity of man's moral +and spiritual life.... I do not confine my language to the philosophy or +religion of Comte; for the same conception of man is common to many +philosophies and many religions.' <span class="quote">MR. FREDERIC HARRISON</span>.</p> + +<hr style="width: 95%;" /> +<p class="caption"><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">Chapter I.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_II">Chapter II.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_III">Chapter III.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">Chapter IV.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_V">Chapter V.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">Chapter VI.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">Chapter VII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">Chapter VIII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">Chapter IX.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_X">Chapter X.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">Chapter XI.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XII">Chapter XII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">Chapter XIII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">Chapter XIV.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XV">Chapter XV.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">Chapter XVI.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVII">Chapter XVII.</a></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII">Chapter XVIII.</a></span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Notes</span><br /> +</p> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The New Paul and Virginia, by W. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The New Paul and Virginia + Positivism on an Island + +Author: W. H. Mallock + +Release Date: October 7, 2011 [EBook #37651] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA *** + + + + +Produced by Christine Bell and Marc D'Hooghe at +http://www.freeliterature.org (From images generously made +available by the Internet Archive) + + + + + +THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA + +or + +POSITIVISM ON AN ISLAND + +BY + +W.H. MALLOCK + +AUTHOR OF 'THE NEW REPUBLIC' ETC. + + +LONDON + +CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY + +1890 + + + + +_'Pessimism as to the essential dignity of man is one of the surest +marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a celestial glory.'_ + + Mr Frederic Harrison + + + + +'Those who can read the signs of the times read in them +that the kingdom of man is at hand'--Professor CLIFFORD + +Thou art smitten, o God, thou art smitten; thy curse is + upon thee, O Lord! +And the love song of earth as thou diest, resounds through + the wind of its wings, +Glory to man in the highest, for man is the master of + things + _Songs before Sunrise_ + + + + +CONTENTS. + + Chapter I. + Chapter II. + Chapter III. + Chapter IV. + Chapter V. + Chapter VI. + Chapter VII. + Chapter VIII. + Chapter IX. + Chapter X. + Chapter XI. + Chapter XII. + Chapter XIII. + Chapter XIV. + Chapter XV. + Chapter XVI. + Chapter XVII. + Chapter XVIII. + + Notes + + + +_THE NEW PAUL AND VIRGINIA._ + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +The magnificent ocean-steamer the _Australasian_ was bound for England, +on her homeward voyage from Melbourne, carrying Her Majesty's mails and +ninety-eight first-class passengers. Never did vessel start under +happier auspices. The skies were cloudless; the sea was smooth as glass. +There was not a sound of sickness to be heard anywhere; and when +dinner-time came there was not a single absentee nor an appetite +wanting. + +But the passengers soon discovered they were lucky in more than weather. +Dinner was hardly half over before two of the company had begun to +attract general attention; and every one all round the table was +wondering, in whispers, who they could possibly be. + +One of the objects of this delightful curiosity was a large-boned, +middle-aged man, with gleaming spectacles, and lank, untidy hair; whose +coat fitted him so ill, and who held his head so high, that one saw at a +glance he was some great celebrity. The other was a beautiful lady of +about thirty years of age, the like of whom nobody present had ever seen +before. She had the fairest hair and the darkest eyebrows, the largest +eyes and the smallest waist conceivable; art and nature had been plainly +struggling as to which should do the most for her; whilst her bearing +was so haughty and distinguished, her glance so tender, and her dress so +expensive and so fascinating, that she seemed at the same time to defy +and to court attention. + +Evening fell on the ship with a soft warm witchery. The air grew purple, +and the waves began to glitter in the moonlight. The passengers gathered +in knots upon the deck, and the distinguished strangers were still the +subject of conjecture. At last the secret was discovered by the wife of +an old colonial judge; and the news spread like wildfire. In a few +minutes all knew that there were on board the _Australasian_ no less +personages than Professor Paul Darnley and the superb Virginia St. +John. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +Miss St. John had, for at least six years, been the most renowned woman +in Europe. In Paris and St. Petersburg, no less than in London, her name +was equally familiar both to princes and to pot-boys; indeed, the gaze +of all the world was fixed on her. Yet, in spite of this exposed +situation, scandal had proved powerless to wrong her; she defied +detraction. Her enemies could but echo her friends' praise of her +beauty; her friends could but confirm her enemies' description of her +character. Though of birth that might almost be called humble, she had +been connected with the heads of many distinguished families; and so +general was the affection she inspired, and so winning the ways in which +she contrived to retain it, that she found herself, at the age of +thirty, mistress of nothing except a large fortune. She was now +converted with surprising rapidity by a Ritualistic priest, and she +became in a few months a model of piety and devotion. She made lace +trimmings for the curate's vestments; she bowed at church as often and +profoundly as possible; she enjoyed nothing so much as going to +confession; she learnt to despise the world. Indeed, such utter dross +did her riches now seem to her, that, despite all the arguments of her +ghostly counsellor, she remained convinced that they were far too +worthless to offer to the Church, and she saw nothing for it but to +still keep them for herself. The mingled humility and discretion of this +resolve so won the heart of a gifted colonial bishop, then on a visit to +England, that, having first assured himself that Miss St. John was +sincere in making it, he besought her to share with him his humble +mitre, and make him the happiest prelate in the whole Catholic Church. +Miss St. John consented. The nuptials were celebrated with the most +elaborate ritual, and after a short honeymoon the bishop departed for +his South Pacific diocese of the Chasuble Islands, to prepare a home for +his bride, who was to follow him by the next steamer. + +Professor Paul Darnley, in his own walk of life, was even more famous +than Virginia had been in hers. He had written three volumes on the +origin of life, which he had spent seven years in looking for in +infusions of hay and cheese; he had written five volumes on the entozoa +of the pig, and two volumes of lectures, as a corollary to these, on the +sublimity of human heroism and the whole duty of man. He was renowned +all over Europe and America as a complete embodiment of enlightened +modern thought. He criticised everything; he took nothing on trust, +except the unspeakable sublimity of the human race and its august +terrestrial destinies. And, in his double capacity of a seer and a +_savant_, he had destroyed all that the world had believed in the past, +and revealed to it all that it is going to feel in the future. His mind +indeed was like a sea, into which the other great minds of the age +discharged themselves, and in which all the slight discrepancies of the +philosophy of the present century mingled together and formed one +harmonious whole. Nor was he less successful in his own private life. +He married, at the age of forty, an excellent evangelical lady, ten +years his senior, who wore a green gown, grey corkscrew curls, and who +had a fortune of two hundred thousand pounds. Deeply pledged though she +was to the most vapid figments of Christianity, Mrs. Darnley was yet +proud beyond measure of her husband's worldwide fame, for she did but +imperfectly understand the grounds of it. Indeed, the only thing that +marred her happiness was the single tenet of his that she had really +mastered. This, unluckily, was that he disbelieved in hell. And so, as +Mrs. Darnley conceived that that place was designed mainly to hold those +who doubted its existence, she daily talked her utmost and left no text +unturned to convince her darling of his very dangerous error. These +assiduous arguments soon began to tell. The Professor grew moody and +brooding, and he at last suggested to his medical man that a voyage +round the world, unaccompanied by his wife, was the prescription most +needed by his failing patience. Mrs. Darnley at length consented with a +fairly good grace. She made her husband pledge himself that he would not +be absent for above a twelvemonth, or else, she said, she should +immediately come after him. She bade him the tenderest of adieus, and +promised to pray till his return for his recovery of a faith in hell. + +The Professor, who had but exceeded his time by six months, was now on +board the _Australasian_, homeward bound to his wife. Virginia was +outward bound to her husband. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +The sensation created by the presence of these two celebrities was +profound beyond description; and the passengers were never weary of +watching the gleaming spectacles and the square-toed boots of the one, +and the liquid eyes and the ravishing toilettes of the other. Virginia's +acquaintance was made almost instantly by three pale-faced curates, and +so well did their friendship prosper, that they soon sang at nightfall +with her a beautiful vesper hymn. Nor did the matter end here, for the +strains sounded so lovely, and Virginia looked so devotional, that most +of the passengers the night after joined in a repetition of this +touching evening office. + +The Professor, as was natural, held quite aloof, and pondered over a new +species of bug, which he had found very plentiful in his berth. But it +soon occurred to him that he often heard the name of God being uttered +otherwise than in swearing. He listened more attentively to the sounds +which he had at first set down as negro-melodies, and he soon became +convinced that they were something whose very existence he despised +himself for remembering--namely, Christian hymns. He then thought of the +three curates, whose existence he despised himself for remembering also. +And the conviction rapidly dawned on him that, though the passengers +seemed fully alive to his fame as a man of science, they could yet know +very little of all that science had done for them; and of the death-blow +it had given to the foul superstitions of the past. He therefore +resolved that next day he would preach them a lay-sermon. + +At the appointed time the passengers gathered eagerly round him--all but +Virginia, who retired to her cabin when she saw that the preacher wore +no surplice, as she thought it would be a mortal sin to listen to a +sermon without one. + +The Professor began amidst a profound silence. He first proclaimed to +his hearers the great primary axiom on which all modern thought bases +itself. He told them that there was but one order of things--it was so +much neater than two; and if we would be certain of anything, we must +never doubt this. Thus, since countless things exist that the senses +_can_ take account of, it is evident that nothing exists that the senses +can _not_ take account of. The senses can take no account of God; +therefore God does not exist. Men of science can only see theology in a +ridiculous light, therefore theology has no side that is not ridiculous. +He then told them a few of the names that enlightened thinkers had +applied to the Christian deity--how Professor Tyndall had called him an +'atom-manufacturer,' and Professor Huxley a 'pedantic drill-sergeant'. +The passengers at once saw how demonstrably at variance with fact was +all religion, and they laughed with a sense of humour that was quite new +to them. The Professor's tones then became more solemn, and, having +extinguished error, he at once went on to unveil the brilliant light of +truth. He showed them how, viewed by modern science, all existence is a +chain, with a gas at one end and no one knows what at the other; and how +Humanity is a link somewhere; but--holy and awful thought!--we can none +of us tell where. 'However,' he proceeded, 'of one thing we can be quite +certain; all that is, is matter; the laws of matter are eternal, and we +cannot act or think without conforming to them; and if,' he said, 'we +would be solemn and high, and happy, and heroic, and saintly, we have +but to strive and struggle to do what we cannot for an instant avoid +doing. Yes,' he exclaimed, 'as the sublime Tyndall tells us, let us +struggle to attain to a deeper knowledge of matter, and a more faithful +conformity to its laws!' + +The Professor would have proceeded, but the weather had been rapidly +growing rough, and he here became violently sea-sick. + +'Let us,' he exclaimed hurriedly, 'conform to the laws of matter and go +below.' + +Nor was the advice premature. A storm arose, exceptional in its +suddenness and its fury. It raged for two days without ceasing. The +_Australasian_ sprang a leak; her steering gear was disabled; and it was +feared she would go ashore on an island that was seen dimly through the +fog to the leeward. The boats were got in readiness. A quantity of +provisions and of the passengers' baggage was already stowed in the +cutter; when the clouds parted, the sun came out again, and the storm +subsided almost as quickly as it rose. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +No sooner were the ship's damages in a fair way to be repaired than the +Professor resumed his sermon. He climbed into the cutter, which was +still full of the passengers' baggage, and sat down on the largest of +Virginia's boxes. This so alarmed Virginia that she incontinently +followed the Professor into the cutter, to keep an eye on her property; +but she did not forget to stop her ears with her fingers, that she +might not be guilty of listening to an unsurpliced minister. + +The Professor took up the thread of his discourse just where he had +broken it off. Every circumstance favoured him. The calm sea was +sparkling under the gentlest breeze; all Nature seemed suffused with +gladness; and at two miles' distance was an enchanting island, green +with every kind of foliage, and glowing with the hues of a thousand +flowers. The Professor, having reminded his hearers of what nonsense +they now thought all the Christian teachings, went on to show them the +blessed results of this. Since the God that we once called all-holy is +a fable, that Humanity is all-holy must be a fact. Since we shall never +be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy hereafter, it is evident +that we can be sublime, and solemn, and unspeakably happy here. 'This,' +said the Professor, 'is the new Gospel. It is founded on exact thought. +It is the Gospel of the kingdom of man; and had I only here a microscope +and a few chemicals, I could demonstrate its eternal truth to you. There +is no heaven to seek for; there is no hell to shun. We have nothing to +strive and live for except to be unspeakably happy.' + +This eloquence was received with enthusiasm. The captain in particular, +who had a wife in every port he touched at, was overjoyed at hearing +that there was no hell; and he sent for all the crew, that they might +learn the good news likewise. But soon the general gladness was marred +by a sound of weeping. Three-fourths of the passengers, having had time +to reflect a little, began exclaiming that as a matter of fact they were +really completely miserable, and that for various reasons they could +never be anything else. 'My friends,' said the Professor, quite +undaunted, 'that is doubtless completely true. You are not happy now; +you probably never will be. But that, I can assure you, is of very +little moment. Only conform faithfully to the laws of matter, and your +children's children will be happy in the course of a few centuries; and +you will like that far, far better than being happy yourselves. Only +consider the matter in this light, and you yourselves will in an instant +become happy also; and whatever you say, and whatever you do, think only +of the effect it will have five hundred years afterwards.' + +At these solemn words, the anxious faces grew calm. An awful sense of +the responsibility of each one of us, and the infinite consequences of +every human act, was filling the hearts of all; when by a faithful +conformity to the laws of matter, the boiler blew up, and the +_Australasian_ went down. In an instant the air was rent with yells and +cries; and all the Humanity that was on board the vessel was busy, as +the Professor expressed it, uniting itself with the infinite azure of +the past. Paul and Virginia, however, floated quietly away in the +cutter, together with the baggage and provisions. + +Virginia was made almost senseless by the suddenness of the catastrophe; +and on seeing five sailors sink within three yards of her, she fainted +dead away. The Professor begged her not to take it so much to heart, as +these were the very men who had got the cutter in readiness; 'and they +are, therefore,' he said, 'still really alive in the fact of our happy +escape.' Virginia, however, being quite insensible, the Professor turned +to the last human being still to be seen above the waters, and shouted +to him not to be afraid of death, as there was certainly no hell, and +that his life, no matter how degraded and miserable, had been a glorious +mystery, full of infinite significance. The next moment the struggler +was snapped up by a shark. Our friends, meanwhile, borne by a current, +had been drifting rapidly towards the island. And the Professor, +spreading to the breeze Virginia's beautiful lace parasol, soon brought +the cutter to the shore on a beach of the softest sand. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +The scene that met Paul's eyes was one of extreme loveliness. He found +himself in a little fairy bay, full of translucent waters, and fringed +with silvery sands. On either side it was protected by fantastic rocks, +and in the middle it opened inland to an enchanting valley, where tall +tropical trees made a grateful shade, and where the ground was carpeted +with the softest moss and turf. + +Paul's first care was for his fair companion. He spread a costly +cashmere shawl on the beach, and placed her, still fainting, on this. In +a few moments she opened her eyes; but was on the point of fainting +again as the horrors of the last half-hour came back to her, when she +caught sight in the cutter of the largest of her own boxes, and she +began to recover herself. Paul begged her to remain quiet whilst he went +to reconnoitre. + +He had hardly proceeded twenty yards into the valley, when to his +infinite astonishment he came on a charming cottage, built under the +shadow of a bread-tree, with a broad verandah, plate-glass windows, and +red window-blinds. His first thought was that this could be no desert +island at all, but some happy European settlement. But, on approaching +the cottage, it proved to be quite untenanted, and from the cobwebs +woven across the doorway it seemed to have been long abandoned. Inside +there was abundance of luxurious furniture; the floors were covered with +gorgeous Indian carpets; and there was a pantry well stocked with plate +and glass and table-linen. The Professor could not tell what to make of +it, till, examining the structure more closely, he found it composed +mainly of a ship's timbers. This seemed to tell its own tale, and he at +once concluded that he and Virginia were not the first castaways who had +been forced to make the island for some time their dwelling-place. + +Overjoyed at this discovery, he hastened back to Virginia. She was by +this time apparently quite recovered, and was kneeling on the cashmere +shawl, with a rosary in her hands designed especially for the use of +Anglo-Catholics, alternately lifting up her eyes in gratitude to heaven, +and casting them down in anguish at her torn and crumpled dress. The +poor Professor was horrified at the sight of a human being in this +degrading attitude of superstition. But as Virginia quitted it with +alacrity as soon as ever he told his news to her, he hoped he might soon +convert her into a sublime and holy Utilitarian. + +The first thing she besought him to do was to carry her biggest box to +this charming cottage, that she might change her clothes, and appear in +something fit to be seen in. The Professor most obligingly at once did +as she asked him; and whilst she was busy at her toilette, he got from +the cutter what provisions he could, and proceeded to lay the table. +When all was ready, he rang a gong which he found suspended in the +lobby; Virginia appeared shortly in a beautiful pink dressing-gown, +embroidered with silver flowers; and just before sunset the two sat down +to a really excellent meal. The bread tree at the door of the cottage +contributed some beautiful French rolls; close at hand also they +discovered a butter-tree; and the Professor had produced from the cutter +a variety of salt and potted meats, _pate de foie gras_, cakes, +preserved fruits, and some bottles of fine champagne. This last helped +much to raise their spirits. Virginia found it very dry, and exactly +suited to her palate. She had but drunk five glasses of it, when her +natural smile returned to her, though she was much disappointed, +because Paul took no notice of her dressing-gown, and when she had drunk +three glasses more she quietly went to sleep on the sofa. + +The moon had by this time risen in dazzling splendour, and the Professor +went out and lighted a cigar. All during dinner there had been a feeling +of dull despair in his heart, which even the champagne did not +dissipate. But now, as he surveyed in the moonlight the wondrous +Paradise in which his strange fate had cast him, his mood changed. The +air was full of the scents of a thousand night-smelling flowers; the sea +murmured on the beach in soft, voluptuous cadences. The Professor's +cigar was excellent. He now saw his situation in a truer light. Here was +a bountiful island, where earth unbidden brought forth all her choicest +fruits, and most of the luxuries of civilisation had already been wafted +thither. Existence here seemed to be purified from all its evils. Was +not this the very condition of things which all the sublimest and +exactest thinkers of modern times had been dreaming and lecturing and +writing books about for a good half-century? Here was a place where +Humanity could do justice to itself, and realise those glorious +destinies which all exact thinkers take for granted must be in store for +it. True, from the mass of Humanity he was completely cut away; but +Virginia was his companion. Holiness, and solemnity, and unspeakably +significant happiness did not, he argued, depend on the multiplication +table. He and Virginia represented Humanity as well as a million +couples. They were a complete humanity in themselves, and humanity in a +perfectible shape; and the very next day they would make preparations +for fulfilling their holy destiny, and being as solemnly and unspeakably +happy as it was their stern duty to be. + +The Professor turned his eyes upwards to the starry heavens, and a sense +came over him of the eternity and the immensity of Nature, and the +demonstrable absence of any intelligence that guided, it. These +reflections naturally brought home to him with more vividness the +stupendous and boundless importance of Man. His bosom swelled violently, +and he cried aloud, his eyes still fixed on the firmament, 'Oh, +important All! oh, important Me!' + +When he came back to the cottage he found Virginia just getting off the +sofa, and preparing to go to bed. She was too sleepy even to say +good-night to him, and with evident want of temper was tugging at the +buttons of her dressing-gown. 'Ah!' she murmured as she left the room, +'if God, in His infinite mercy, had only spared my maid!' + +Virginia's evident discontent gave profound pain to Paul. 'How solemn,' +he exclaimed, 'for half Humanity to be discontented!' But he was still +more disturbed at the appeal to a chimerical manufacturer of atoms; and +he groaned in tones of yet more sonorous sorrow, 'How solemn for half +Humanity to be sunk lower than the beasts by superstition!' + +However, he hoped that these stupendous evils might, under the present +favourable conditions, vanish in the course of a few days' progress; and +he went to bed, full of august auguries. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +Next morning he was up betimes; and the prospects of Humanity looked +more glorious than ever. He gathered some of the finest pats from the +butter-tree, and some fresh French rolls from the bread-tree. He +discovered a cow close at hand, that allowed him at once to milk it; and +a little roast pig ran up to him out of the underwood, and fawning on +him with its trotters, said, 'Come, eat me.' + +The Professor vivisected it before Virginia's door, that its automatic +noise, which the vulgar call cries of pain, might awaken her; and he +then set it in a hot dish on the table. + +'It has come! it has come!' he shouted, rapturously, as Virginia entered +the room, this time in a blue silk dressing-gown, embroidered with +flowers of gold. + +'What has come?' said Virginia, pettishly, for she was suffering from a +terrible headache, and the Professor's loud voice annoyed her. 'You +don't mean to say that we are rescued, are we?' + +'Yes,' answered Paul, solemnly; 'we are rescued. We are rescued from all +the pains and imperfections of a world that has not learnt how to +conform to the laws of matter, and is but imperfectly acquainted with +the science of sociology. It is therefore inevitable that, the evils of +existence being thus removed, we shall both be solemnly, stupendously, +and unspeakably happy.' + +'Nonsense!' said Virginia, snappishly, who thought the Professor was +joking. + +'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor, 'It is deducible from the +teachings of John Stuart Mill, of Auguste Comte, of Mr. Frederic +Harrison, and of all the exact thinkers who have cast off superstition, +and who adore Humanity.' + +Virginia meanwhile ate _pate de foie gras_, of which she was +passionately fond; and, growing a little less sullen, she at last +admitted that they were lucky in having at least the necessaries of life +left to them. 'But as for happiness--there is nothing to do here, there +is no church to go to, and you don't seem to care a bit for my +dressing-gown. What have we got to make us happy?' + +'Humanity,' replied the Professor eagerly,--'Humanity, that divine +entity, which is necessarily capable of everything that is fine and +invaluable, and is the object of indescribable emotion to all exact +thinkers. And what is Humanity?' he went on more earnestly; 'you and I +are Humanity--you and I are that august existence. You already are all +the world to me; and I very soon shall be all the world to you. Adored +being, it will be my mission and my glory to compel you to live for me. +And then, as modern philosophy can demonstrate, we shall both of us be +significantly and unspeakably happy.' + +For a few moments Virginia merely stared at Paul. Suddenly she turned +quite pale, her lips quivered, and exclaiming, 'How dare you!--and I, +too, the wife of a bishop!' she left the room in hysterics. + +The Professor could make nothing of this. Though he had dissected many +dead women, he knew very little of the hearts of live ones. A sense of +shyness overpowered him, and he felt embarrassed, he could not tell +why, at being thus left alone with Virginia. He lit a cigar and went +out. Here was a to-do indeed, he thought. How would progress be possible +if one half of Humanity misunderstood the other? + +He was thus musing, when suddenly a voice startled him; and in another +moment a man came rushing up to him, with every demonstration of joy. + +'Oh, my dear master! oh, emancipator of the human intellect! and is it +indeed you? Thank God!----I beg pardon for my unspeakable blasphemy--I +mean, thank circumstances over which I have no control.' + +It was one of the three curates, whom Paul had supposed drowned, but who +now related how he had managed to swim ashore, despite the extreme +length of his black clerical coat. 'These rags of superstition,' he +said, 'did their best to drown me. But I survive in spite of them, to +covet truth and to reject error. Thanks to your glorious teaching,' he +went on, looking reverentially into the Professor's face, 'the very +notion of an Almighty Father makes me laugh consumedly, it is so absurd +and so immoral. Science, through your instrumentality, has opened my +eyes. I am now an exact thinker.' + +'Do you believe, said Paul, 'in solemn, significant, and unspeakably +happy Humanity? + +'I do,' said the curate, fervently. 'Whenever I think of Humanity, I +groan and moan to myself out of sheer solemnity.' + +'Then two thirds of Humanity,' said the Professor, 'are thoroughly +enlightened. Progress will now go on smoothly.' + +At this moment Virginia came out, having rapidly recovered composure at +the sound of a new man's voice. + +'You here--you, too!' exclaimed the curate. 'How solemn, how +significant! This is truly Providential----I mean this has truly +happened through conformity to the laws of matter.' + +'Well,' said Virginia, 'since we have a clergyman amongst us, we shall +perhaps be able to get on.' + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +Things now took a better turn. The Professor ceased to feel shy; and +proposed, when the curate had finished an enormous breakfast, that they +should go down to the cutter, and bring up the things in it to the +cottage. 'A few hours' steady progress,' he said, 'and the human race +will command all the luxuries of civilisation--the glorious fruits of +centuries of onward labour.' + +The three spent a very busy morning in examining and unpacking the +luggage. The Professor found his favourite collection of modern +philosophers; Virginia found a large box of knick-knacks, with which to +adorn the cottage; and there was, too, an immense store of wine and of +choice provisions. + +'It is rather sad,' sighed Virginia, as she dived into a box of French +chocolate-creams, 'to think that all the poor people are drowned that +these things belonged to.' + +'They are not dead,' said the Professor: 'they still live on this holy +and stupendous earth. They live in the use we are making of all they had +got together. The owner of those chocolate-creams is immortal because +you are eating them.' + +Virginia licked her lips and said, 'Nonsense!' + +'It is not nonsense,' said the Professor. 'It is the religion of +Humanity.' + +All day they were busy, and the time passed pleasantly enough. Wines, +provisions, books, and china ornaments were carried up to the cottage +and bestowed in proper places. Virginia filled the glasses in the +drawing-room with gorgeous leaves and flowers and declared by the +evening, as she looked round her, that she could almost fancy herself in +St. John's Wood. + +'See, said the Professor, 'how rapid is the progress of material +civilisation! Humanity is now entering on the fruits of ages. Before +long it will be in a position to be unspeakably happy.' + +Virginia retired to bed early. The Professor took the curate out with +him to look at the stars; and promised to lend him some writings of the +modern philosophers, which would make him more perfect in the new view +of things. They said good-night, murmuring together that there was +certainly no God, that Humanity was very important, and that everything +was very solemn. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +Next morning the curate began studying a number of essays that the +Professor lent him, all written by exact thinkers, who disbelieved in +God, and thought Humanity adorable, and most important. Virginia lay on +the sofa, and sighed over one of Miss Broughton's novels; and it +occurred to the Professor that the island was just the place where, if +anywhere, the missing link might be found. + +'Ah!' he exclaimed; 'all is still progress. Material progress came to an +end yesterday. Mental progress has begun to-day. One third of Humanity +is cultivating sentiment; another third is learning to covet truth. I, +the remaining and most enlightened third, will go and seek it. Glorious, +solemn Humanity! I will go and look about for its arboreal ancestor.' + +Every step the Professor took he found the island more beautiful. But he +came back to luncheon, having been unsuccessful in his search. Events +had marched quickly in his absence. Virginia was at the beginning of her +third volume; and the curate had skimmed over so many essays, that he +professed himself able to give a thorough account of the want of faith +that was in him. + +After luncheon the three sat together in easy chairs, in the verandah, +sometimes talking, sometimes falling into a half-doze. They all agreed +that they were wonderfully comfortable, and the Professor said-- + +'All Humanity is now at rest, and in utter peace. It is just taking +breath, before it becomes unspeakably and significantly happy.' + +He would have said more, but he was here startled by a piteous noise of +crying, and the three found themselves confronted by an old woman +dripping with sea-water, and with an expression on her face of the +utmost misery. They soon recognised her as one of the passengers on the +ship. She told them how she had been floated ashore on a spar, and how +she had been sustained by a little roast pig, that kindly begged her to +eat it, having first lain in her bosom to restore her to warmth. She was +now looking for her son. + +'And if I cannot find him,' said the old woman, 'I shall never smile +again. He has half broken my heart,' she went on, 'by his wicked ways. +But if I thought he was dead--dead in the midst of his sins--it would be +broken altogether; for in that case he must certainly be in hell.' + +'Old woman,' said the Professor, very slowly and solemnly, 'be +comforted. I announce to you that your son is alive.' + +'Oh, bless you, sir, for that word!' cried the old woman. 'But where is +he? Have you seen him? Are you sure that he is living?' + +'I am sure of it,' said the Professor, 'because enlightened thought +shows me that he cannot be anything else. It is true that I saw him sink +for a third time in the sea, and that he was then snapped up by a shark. +But he is as much alive as ever in his posthumous activities. He has +made you wretched after him; and that is his future life. Become an +exact thinker, and you will see that this is so. Old woman,' added the +Professor solemnly, 'old woman, listen to me--_You and your son are in +hell._' + +At this the old woman flew into a terrible rage. + +'In hell, sir!' she exclaimed; 'me in hell!--a poor lone woman like me! +How dare you!' And she sank back in a chair and fainted. + +'Alas!' said the Professor, 'thus is misery again introduced into the +world. A fourth part of Humanity is now miserable.' + +The curate answered promptly that if no restoratives were given her, +she would probably die in a few minutes. 'And to let her die,' he said, +'is clearly our solemn duty. It will be for the greatest happiness of +the greatest number.' + +'No,' said the Professor; 'for our sense of pity would then be wounded, +and the happiness of all of us would be marred by that.' + +'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'but exact thought shows me that pity for +others is but the imagining of their misfortune falling on ourselves. +Now, we can none of us imagine ourselves exactly in the old woman's +case; therefore it is quite impossible that we can pity her.' + +'But,' said the Professor, 'such an act would violate our ideas of +justice.' + +'You are wrong again,' said the curate, 'for exact thought shows me that +the love of justice is nothing but the fear of suffering injustice. If +we were to kill strong men, we might naturally fear that strong men +would kill us. But whatever we do to fainting old women, we cannot +expect that fainting old women will do anything to us in return.' + +'Your reasoning cannot be sound,' said the Professor, 'for it would lead +to the most horrible conclusions. I will solve the difficulty better. I +will make the old woman happy, and therefore fit to live. Old woman,' he +exclaimed, 'let me beg you to consider this. You are yourself by your +own unhappiness expiating your son's sins. Do but think of that, and you +will become unspeakably happy.' + +Meanwhile, however, the old woman had died. When the Professor +discovered this he was somewhat shocked; but at length with a sudden +change of countenance, 'We neither of us did it,' he exclaimed; 'her +death is no act of ours. It is part of the eternal not-ourselves that +makes for righteousness--righteousness, which is, as we all know, but +another name for happiness. Let us adore the event with reverence.' + +'Yes,' said the curate, 'we are well rid of her. She was an immoral old +woman, for happiness is the test of morality, and she was very unhappy.' + +'On the contrary,' said the Professor, 'she was a moral old woman; for +she has made us happy by dying so very opportunely. Let us speak well of +the dead. Her death has been a holy and a blessed one. She has conformed +to the laws of matter. Thus is unhappiness destined to fade out of the +world. Quick! let us tie a bag of shot to all the sorrow and evil of +Humanity, which, after all, is only a fourth part of it, and let us sink +her in the bay close at hand, that she may catch lobsters for us.' + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +At last,' said the Professor, as they began dinner that evening, 'the +fulness of time has come. All the evils of Humanity are removed, and +progress has come to an end because it can go no further. We have +nothing now to do but to be unspeakably and significantly happy.' + +The champagne flowed freely. Our friends ate and drank of the best, +their spirits rose, and Virginia admitted that this was really 'jolly.' +The sense of the word pleased the Professor, but its sound seemed below +the gravity of the occasion; so he begged her to say 'sublime' instead. +'We can make it mean,' he said, 'just the same, but we prefer it for the +sake of its associations.' + +It soon, however, occurred to him that eating and drinking were hardly +delights sufficient to justify the highest state of human emotion, and +he began to fear he had been feeling sublime prematurely; but in another +moment he recollected he was an altruist, and that the secret of their +happiness was not that any one of them was happy, but that they each +knew the others were. + +'Yes, my dear curate,' said the Professor, 'what I am enjoying is the +champagne that you drink, and what you are enjoying is the champagne +that I drink. This is altruism; this is benevolence; this is the sublime +outcome of enlightened modern thought. The pleasures of the table, in +themselves, are low and beastly ones; but if we each of us are only glad +because the others are enjoying them, they become holy and glorious +beyond description.' + +'They do,' cried the curate rapturously, 'indeed they do. I will drink +another bottle for your sake. It is sublime!' he said, as he tossed off +three glasses. 'It is significant!' he said as he finished three more. +'Tell me, my dear, do I look significant?' he added, as he turned to +Virginia, and suddenly tried, to crown the general bliss by kissing her. + +Virginia started back, looking fire and fury at him. The Professor was +completely astounded by an occurrence so unnatural, and exclaimed in a +voice of thunder, 'Morality, sir--remember morality! How dare you upset +that which Professor Huxley tells us must be for ever strong enough to +hold its own?' + +But the last glass of champagne had put the curate beyond the reach of +exact thought. He tumbled under the table, and the Professor carried him +off to bed. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +The Professor, like most serious thinkers, knew but little of that +trifle commonly called 'the world.' He had never kissed any one except +his wife; even that he did as seldom as possible; and the curate lying +dead drunk was the first glimpse he had of what, _par excellence_, is +described as 'life.' But though the scene just recounted was thus a +terrible shock to him, in one way it gave him an unlooked-for comfort. +He had felt that even yet things were not quite as sublime as they +should be. He now saw the reason. 'Of course,' he said, 'existence +cannot be perfect so long as one third of Humanity makes a beast of +itself. A little more progress must be still necessary.' + +He hastened to explain this next morning to Virginia, and begged her not +to be alarmed at the curate's scandalous conduct. 'Immorality,' he said, +'is but a want of success in attaining our own happiness. It is +evidently most immoral for the curate to be kissing you; and therefore +kissing you would not really conduce to his happiness. I will convince +him of this solemn truth in a very few moments. Then the essential +dignity of human nature will become at once apparent, and we shall all +of us at last begin to be unspeakably happy.' + +The curate, however, altogether declined to be convinced. He maintained +stoutly that to kiss Virginia would be the greatest pleasure that +Humanity could offer him. 'And if it is immoral as well as pleasant,' he +added, 'I should like it all the better.' + +At this the Professor gave a terrible groan; he dropped almost fainting +into a chair; he hid his face in his hands; and murmured +half-articulately, 'Then I can't tell what to do!' In another instant, +however, he recovered himself; and fixing a dreadful look on the +curate, 'That last statement of yours,' he said, 'cannot be true; for if +it were, it would upset all my theories. It is a fact that can be proved +and verified, that if you kissed Virginia it would make you miserable.' + +'Pardon me,' said the curate, rapidly moving towards her, 'your notion +is a remnant of superstition; I will explode it by a practical +experiment.' + +The Professor caught hold of the curate's coat-tails, and forcibly +pulled him back into his seat. + +'If you dare attempt it,' he said, 'I will kick you soundly, and, +shocking, immoral man! you will feel miserable enough then.' + +The curate was a terrible coward, and very weak as well. 'You are a +great hulking fellow,' he said, eyeing the Professor; 'and I am of a +singularly delicate build. I must, therefore, conform to the laws of +matter, and give in.' He said this in a very sulky voice; and, going out +of the room, slammed the door after him. + +A radiant expression suffused the face of the Professor. 'See,' he said +to Virginia, 'the curate's conversion is already half accomplished. In a +few hours more he will be rational, he will be moral, he will be +solemnly and significantly happy.' + +The Professor talked like this to Virginia the whole morning; but in +spite of all his arguments, she declined to be comforted. 'It is all +very well,' she said, 'whilst you are in the way. But as soon as your +back is turned, I know he will be at me again.' + +'Will you never,' said Paul, by this time a little irritated, 'will you +never listen to exact thought? The curate is now reflecting; and a +little reflection must inevitably convince him that he does not really +care to kiss you, and that it would give him very little real pleasure +to do so.' + +'Stuff!' exclaimed Virginia, with a sudden vigour at which the Professor +was thunderstruck. 'I can tell you,' she went on, 'that better men than +he have borne kicks for my sake; and to kiss me is the only thing that +that little man cares about.--What _shall_ I do?' she exclaimed, +bursting into tears. 'Here is one of you insulting me by trying to kiss +me; and the other insulting me by saying that I am not worth being +kissed!' + +'Ah, me!' groaned the poor Professor in an agony, 'here is one third of +Humanity plunged in sorrow; and another third has not yet freed itself +from vice. When, when, I wonder, will the sublimity begin?' + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +At dinner, however, things wore a more promising aspect. The curate had +been so terrified by the Professor's threats, that he hardly dared to so +much as look at Virginia; and to make up for it, he drank and drank +champagne, till the strings of his tongue were loosed, and he was +laughing and chattering at a rate that was quite extraordinary. +Virginia, seeing herself thus neglected by the curate, began to fear +that, as Paul said, he really did not so much care to kiss her after +all. She, therefore, put on all her most enticing ways; she talked, +flirted, and smiled her best, and made her most effective eyes, that the +curate might see what a prize was for ever beyond his reach. + +This state of affairs seemed full of glorious promise. Virginia's tears +were dried, she had never looked so radiant and exquisite before. The +curate had foregone every attempt to kiss Virginia, and yet apparently +he was happiness itself; and Paul took him aside, as soon as the meal +was over, to congratulate him on the holy state to which exact thought +had conducted him. 'You see,' Paul said, 'what a natural growth the +loftiest morality is. Virginia doesn't want to be kissed by you. I +should be shocked at your doing so shocking a thing as kissing her. If +you kissed her, you would make both of us miserable; and, as a necessary +consequence, you would be in an agony likewise; in addition to which, I +should inevitably kick you.' + +'But,' said the curate, 'suppose I kissed Virginia on the sly,--I merely +put this as an hypothesis, remember,--and that in a little while she +liked it, what then? She and I would both be happy, and you ought to be +happy too, because we were.' + +'Idiot!' said the Professor. 'Virginia is another man's wife. Nobody +really likes kissing another man's wife; nor do wives ever like kissing +any one except their husbands. What they really like is what Professor +Huxley calls "the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good," +which, as he says, exact thought shows us is the true end of existence. +But, pooh! what is the use of all this talking? You know which way your +higher nature calls you; and, of course, unless men believe in God, they +cannot help obeying their higher nature.' + +'I,' said the curate, 'think the belief in God a degrading superstition; +I think every one an imbecile who believes a miracle possible. And yet +I do not care two straws about the highest good. What you call my lower +nature is far the strongest; I mean to follow it to the best of my +ability; and I prefer calling it my higher, for the sake of the +associations.' + +This plunged the Professor in deeper grief than ever. He knew not what +to do. He paced up and down the verandah, or about the rooms, and moaned +and groaned as if he had a violent toothache. Virginia and the curate +asked what was amiss with him. 'I am agonising,' he said, 'for the sake +of holy, solemn, unspeakably dignified Humanity.' + +The curate, seeing the Professor thus dejected, by degrees took heart +again, and as Virginia still continued her fascinating behaviour to him, +he resolved to try and prove to her that, the test of morality being +happiness, the most moral thing she could do would be to allow him to +kiss her. No sooner had he begun to propound these views, than the +Professor gave over his groaning, seized the curate by the collar, and +dragged him out of the room with a roughness that nearly throttled him. + +'I was but propounding a theory--an opinion,' gasped the curate. 'Surely +thought is free. You will not persecute me for my opinions?' + +'It is not for your opinions,' said the Professor, 'but for the +horrible effect they might have. Opinions,' he roared, 'can only be +tolerated which have no possible consequences. You may promulgate any of +those as much as you like; because to do that would be a self-regarding +action.' + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +'Well,' said the curate, 'if I may not kiss Virginia, I will drink +brandy instead. That will make me happy enough; and then we shall all be +radiant.' + +He soon put his resolve into practice. He got a bottle of brandy, he sat +himself down under a palm-tree, and told the Professor he was going to +make an afternoon of it. + +'Foolish man!' said the Professor; 'I was never drunk myself, it is +true; but I know that to get drunk makes one's head ache horribly. To +get drunk is, therefore, horribly immoral; and therefore I cannot permit +it.' + +'Excuse me,' said the curate; 'it is a self-regarding action. Nobody's +head will ache but mine; so that is my own look-out. I have been +expelled from school, from college, and from my first curacy for +drinking. So I know well enough the balance of pains and pleasures.' + +Here he pulled out his brandy bottle, and applied his lips to it. + +'Oh, Humanity!' he exclaimed, 'how solemn this brandy tastes!' + +Matters went on like this for several days. The curate was too much +frightened to again approach Virginia. Virginia at last became convinced +that he did not care about kissing her. Her vanity was wounded, and she +became sullen; and this made the Professor sullen also. In fact, two +thirds of Humanity were overcast with gloom. The only happy section of +it was the curate, who alternately smoked and drank all day long. + +'The nasty little beast!' said Virginia to the Professor, 'he is nearly +always drunk. I am beginning quite to like you, Paul, by comparison +with him. Let us turn him out, and not let him live in the cottage.' + +'No,' said the Professor; 'for he is one third of Humanity. You do not +properly appreciate the solidarity of mankind. His existence, however, I +admit is a great difficulty.' + +One day at dinner-time, shortly afterwards, Paul came in radiant. + +'Oh holy, oh happy event!' he exclaimed; 'all will go right at last.' + +Virginia inquired anxiously what had happened, and Paul informed her +that the curate, who had got more drunk than usual that afternoon, had +fallen over a cliff, and been dashed to pieces. + +'What event,' he asked, 'could be more charming more unspeakably holy? +It bears about it every mark of sanctity. It is for the greatest +happiness of the greatest number. Come,' he continued, 'let you and me +together, purged of sin, and purged of sorrow as we are--let us begin +our love-feast. Let us each seek the happiness of the other. Let us +instantly be sublime and happy.' + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +'The supreme moment is come,' said Paul solemnly, as they sat down to +dinner. 'Let us prepare ourselves for realising to the full the +essential dignity of Humanity--that _grand etre_, which has come, in the +course of progress, to consist of you and me. Virginia, consider this. +Every condition of happiness that modern thinkers have dreamed of is now +fulfilled. We have but to seek each the happiness of the other, and we +shall both be in a solemn, a significant, and unspeakable state of +rapture. See, here is an exquisite leg of mutton. I,' said Paul, who +liked the fat best, 'I will give up all the fat to you.' + +'And I,' said Virginia, resignedly, 'will give up all the lean to you,' + +A few mouthfuls made Virginia feel sick. 'I confess,' said she, 'I can't +get on with this fat.' + +'I confess,' the Professor answered, 'I don't exactly like this lean.' + +'Then let us,' said Virginia, 'be like Jack Sprat and his wife.' + +'No,' said the Professor, meditatively, 'that is quite inadmissible. For +in that case we should be egoistic hedonists. However, for to-day it +shall be as you say. I will think of something better to-morrow.' + +Next day he and Virginia had a chicken apiece; only Virginia's was put +before Paul, and Paul's before Virginia; and they each walked round the +table to supply each other with the slightest necessaries. + +'Ah!' cried Paul, 'this is altruism indeed. I think already I can feel +the sublimity beginning.' + +Virginia liked this rather better. But soon she committed the sin of +taking for herself the liver of Paul's chicken. As soon as she had eaten +the whole of it her conscience began to smite her. She confessed her +sin to Paul, and inquired, with some anxiety, if he thought she would go +to hell for it? 'Metaphorically,' said Paul, 'you have already done so. +You are punished by the loss of the pleasure you would have had in +giving that liver to me, and also by your knowledge of my knowledge of +your folly in foregoing the pleasure.' + +Virginia was much relieved by this answer; she at once took several more +of the Professor's choicest bits, and was happy in the thought that her +sins were expiated in the very act of their commission, by the latent +pain she felt persuaded they were attended by. Feeling that this was +sufficient, she took care not to add Paul's disapproval to her +punishment, so she never told him again. + +For a short time this practice of altruism seemed to Virginia to have +many advantages. But though the Professor was always exclaiming, 'How +significant is human life by the very nature of its constitution!' she +very soon found it a trifle dull. Luckily, however, she hit upon a new +method of exercising morality, and, as the Professor fully admitted, of +giving it a yet more solemn significance. + +The Professor having by some accident lost his razors, his moustaches +had begun to grow profusely, and Virginia had watched them with a deep +but half-conscious admiration. At last, in a happy moment, she +exclaimed, 'Oh, Paul, do let me wax the ends for you,' Paul at first +giggled, blushed, and protested, but, as Virginia assured him it would +make her happy, he consented. 'Then,' she said, 'you will know that I am +happy, and that in return will make you happy also. Ah!' she exclaimed +when the operation was over, 'do go and examine yourself in the glass. I +declare you look exactly like Jack Barley--Barley-Sugar, as we used to +call him--of the Blues.' + +Virginia smiled; suddenly she blushed; the Professor blushed also. To +cover the blushes she begged to be allowed to do his hair. 'It will make +me so much happier, Paul,' she said. The Professor again assented, that +he might make Virginia happy, and that she might be happy in knowing +that he was happy in promoting her happiness. At last the Professor, shy +and awkward as he was, was emboldened to offer to do Virginia's hair in +return. She allowed him to arrange her fringe, and, as she found he did +no great harm to it, she let him repeat the operation as often as he +liked. + +A week thus passed, full, as the Professor said, of infinite solemnity. +'I admit, Paul,' sighed Virginia, 'that this altruism, as you call it, +is very touching. I like it very much. But,' she added, sinking her +voice to a whisper, 'are you quite sure, Paul, that it is perfectly +moral?' + +'Moral!' echoed the Professor, 'moral! Why, exact thought shows us that +it is the very essence of all morality!' + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +Matters now went on charmingly. All existence seemed to take a richer +colouring, and there was something, Paul said, which, in Professor +Tyndall's words, 'gave fulness and tone to it, but which he could +neither analyse nor comprehend.' But at last a change came. One morning, +whilst Virginia was arranging Paul's moustaches, she was frightened +almost into a fit by a sudden apparition at the window. It was a +hideous hairy figure, perfectly naked but for a band of silver which it +wore about its neck. For a moment it did nothing but grin and stare; +then, uttering a discordant scream, it flung into Virginia's lap a +filthy piece of carrion, and in an instant it had bounded away with an +almost miraculous activity. + +Virginia shrieked with disgust and terror, and clung to Paul's knees for +protection. He, however, in some strange way, seemed unmoved and +preoccupied. All at once, to her intense surprise, she saw his face +light up with an expression of triumphant eagerness. 'The missing link!' +he exclaimed, 'the missing link at last! Thank God.--I beg pardon for +my unspeakable blasphemy--I mean, thank circumstances over which I have +no control. I must this instant go out and hunt for it. Give me some +provisions in a knapsack, for I will not come back till I have caught +it.' + +This was a fearful blow to Virginia. She fell at Paul's feet weeping, +and besought him in piteous accents that he would not thus abandon her. + +'I must,' said the Professor solemnly, 'for I am going in pursuit of +Truth. To arrive at Truth is man's perfect and most rapturous happiness. +You must surely know that, even if I have forgotten to tell it to you. +To pursue truth--holy truth for holy truth's sake--is a more solemn +pleasure than even frizzling your hair.' + +'Oh,' cried. Virginia, hysterically, 'I don't care two straws for truth. +What on earth is the good of it?' + +'It is its own end,' said the Professor. 'It is its own exceeding great +reward. I must be off at once in search of it. Good-bye for the present. +Seek truth on your own account, and be unspeakably happy also, because +you know that I am seeking it.' + +The Professor remained away for three days. For the first two of them +Virginia was inconsolable. She wandered about mournfully with her head +dejected. She very often sighed; she very often uttered the name of +Paul. At last she surprised herself by exclaiming aloud to the +irresponsive solitude, 'Oh, Paul, until you were gone, I never knew how +passionately I loved you.' No sooner were these words out of her mouth +than she stood still, horror-stricken. 'Alas!' she cried, 'and have I +really come to this? I am in a state of deadly sin, and there is no +priest here to confess to! Alone, alone I must conquer my forbidden love +as I may. But, ah me, what a guilty thing I am!' + +As she uttered these words, her eyes fell on a tin box of the +Professor's, marked 'Private,' which he always kept carefully locked, +and which had before now excited her curiosity. Suddenly she became +conscious of a new impulse. 'I will pursue truth!' she exclaimed. 'I +will break that box open, and I will see what is inside it. Ah!' she +added, as with the aid of the poker she at last wrenched off the +padlock. 'Paul may be right, after all. There is more interest in the +pursuit of truth than I thought there was.' + +The box was full of papers, letters, and diaries, the greater part of +which were marked 'Strictly private.' Seeing this, Virginia's appetite +for truth became keener than ever. She instantly began her researches. +The more she read, the more eager she became; and the more private +appeared the nature of the documents, the more insatiable did her +thirst for truth grow. To her extreme surprise, she gathered that the +Professor had begun life as a clergyman. There were several photographs +of him in his surplice; and a number of devout prayers, apparently +composed by himself for his own personal use. This discovery was the +result of her labours. + +'Certainly,' she said, 'it is one of extreme significance. If Paul was a +priest once, he must be a priest now. Orders are indelible--at least in +the Church of England I know they are.' + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +Paul came back, to Virginia's extreme relief, without the missing link. +But he was still radiant in spite of his failure; for he had discovered, +he said, a place where the creature had apparently slept, and he had +collected in a card-paper box a large number of its parasites. + +'I am glad,' said Virginia, 'that you have not found the missing link: +though as to thinking that we really came from monkeys, of course that +is too absurd. Now if you could have brought me a nice monkey, I should +really have liked that. The Bishop has promised that I shall have a +darling one, if I ever reach him--ah me!--if----Paul,' continued +Virginia, in a very solemn voice, after a long pause, 'do you know that +whilst you have been away I have been pursuing truth? I rather liked it; +and I found it very, very significant.' + +'Oh, joy!' exclaimed the Professor. 'Oh, unspeakable radiance! Oh, holy, +oh essentially dignified Humanity! it will very soon be perfect! Tell +me, Virginia, what truths have you been discovering?' + +'One truth about you, Paul,' said Virginia, very gravely, 'and one +truth about me. I burn--oh, I burn to tell them to you!' + +The Professor was enraptured to hear that one half of Humanity had been +thus studying human nature; and he began asking Virginia if her +discoveries belonged to the domain of historical or biological science. +Meanwhile Virginia had flung herself on her knees before him, and was +exclaiming, in piteous accents-- + +'By my fault, by my own fault, by my very grievous fault, holy father, I +confess to you----' + +'Is the woman mad?' cried the Professor, starting up from his seat. + +'You are a priest, Paul,' said Virginia; 'that is one of the things I +have discovered. I am in a state of deadly sin; that is the other: and I +must and will confess to you. Once a priest, always a priest. You cannot +get rid of your orders, and you must and shall hear me.' + +'I was once in orders, it is true,' said Paul, reluctantly; 'but how did +you find out my miserable secret?' + +'In my zeal for truth,' said Virginia, 'I broke open your tin box; I +read all your letters; I looked at your early photographs; I saw all +your beautiful prayers.' + +'You broke open my box!' cried the Professor. 'You read my letters and +my private papers! Oh, horrible! oh, immoral! What shall we do if one +half of Humanity has no feeling of honour?' + +'Oh!' said Virginia, 'it was all for the love of truth--of solemn and +holy truth. I sacrificed every other feeling for that. But I have not +told you my truth yet; and I am determined you shall hear it, or I must +still remain in my sins. Paul, I am a married woman; and I discover, in +spite of that, that I have fallen in love with you. My husband, it is +true, is far away; and whatever we do, he could never possibly be the +wiser. But I am in a state of mortal sin, nevertheless; and I would +give anything in the world if you would only kiss me.' + +'Woman!' exclaimed Paul, aghast with fright and horror, 'do you dare to +abuse truth, by turning it to such base purposes?' + +'Oh, you are so clever,' Virginia went on, 'and when the ends of your +moustaches are waxed, you look positively handsome; and I love you so +deeply and so tenderly, that I shall certainly go to hell if you do not +give me absolution.' + +At this the Professor jumped up, and, staring very hard at Virginia, +asked her if, after all that he had said on the ship, she really +believed in such exploded fallacies as hell, God, and priestcraft. + +She reminded him that he had preached there without a surplice, and that +she had therefore not thought it right to listen to a word he said. + +'Ah!' cried the Professor, with a sigh of intense relief, 'I see it all +now. How can Humanity ever be unspeakably holy so long as one half of it +grovels in dreams of an unspeakably holy God? As Mr. Frederic Harrison +truly says, a want of faith in "the essential dignity of man is one of +the surest marks of the enervating influence of this dream of a +celestial glory."' The Professor accordingly re-delivered to Virginia +the entire substance of his lectures in the ship. He fully impressed on +her that all the intellect of the world was on the side of Humanity; and +that God's existence could be disproved with a box of chemicals. He was +agreeably surprised at finding her not at all unwilling to be convinced, +and extremely unexacting in her demands for proof. In a few days she had +not a remnant of superstition left. 'At last!' exclaimed the Professor; +'it has come at last. Unspeakable happiness will surely begin now.' + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + +No one now could possibly be more emancipated than Virginia. She +tittered all day long and whenever the Professor asked her why, she +always told him she was thinking of 'an intelligent First Cause,' a +conception which she said 'was really quite killing.' But when her first +burst of intellectual excitement was over, she became more serious. 'All +thought, Paul,' she said, 'is valuable mainly because it leads to +action. Come, my love, my dove, my beauty, and let us kiss each other +all daylong. Let us enjoy the charming license which exact thought shows +us we shall never be punished for.' + +This was a result of freedom that the Professor had never bargained for. +He could not understand it, 'because,' he argued, 'if people were to +reason in that way, morality would at once cease to be possible.' But he +had seen so much of the world lately, that he soon recovered himself, +and recollecting that immorality was only ignorance, he began to show +Virginia where her error lay---her one remaining error. 'I perceive,' he +said, 'that you are ignorant of one of the greatest triumphs of exact +thought--the distinction it has established between the lower and the +higher pleasures. Philosophers, who have thought the whole thing over in +their studies, have become sure that as soon as the latter are presented +to men they will at once leave all and follow them.' + +'They must be very nice pleasures,' said Virginia, 'if they would make +me leave kissing you for the sake of them.' + +'They _are_ nice,' said the Professor. 'They are the pleasures of the +imagination, the intellect, and the glorious apprehension of truth. +Compared with these, kissing me would be quite insipid. Remain here for +a moment, whilst I go to fetch something, and you shall then begin to +taste them.' + +In a few moments Paul came back again, and found Virginia in a state of +intense expectancy. + +'Now--,' he exclaimed triumphantly. + +'Now--,' exclaimed Virginia, with a beating heart. + +The Professor put his hand in his pocket, and drew slowly forth from it +an object which Virginia knew well. It reminded her of the most innocent +period of her life; but she hated the very sight of it none the less. It +was a Colenso's Arithmetic. + +'Come,' said the Professor, 'no truths are so pure and necessary as +those of mathematics; you shall at once begin the glorious apprehension +of them.' + +'Oh, Paul,' cried Virginia, in an agony, 'but I really don't care for +truth at all; and you know that when I broke your tin box open and read +your private letters in my search for it, you were very angry with me.' + +'Ah!' said Paul, holding up his finger, 'but those were not necessary +truths. Truths about human action and character are not necessary +truths; therefore men of science care nothing about them, and they have +no place in scientific systems of ethics. Pure truths are of a very +different character; and, however much you may misunderstand your own +inclinations, you can really care for nothing so much as doing a few +sums. I will set you some very easy ones to begin with, and you shall do +them by yourself, whilst I magnify in the next room the parasites of the +missing link.' + +Virginia saw that there was no help for it. She did her sums by herself +the whole morning, which, as at school she had been very good at +arithmetic, was not a hard task for her, and Paul magnified parasites in +the next room, and prepared slides for his microscope. + +When they met again, Paul began skipping and dancing, as if he had gone +quite out of his senses, and every now and then between the skips he +gave a sepulchral groan. Virginia asked him in astonishment what on +earth was the matter with him. + +'Matter!' he exclaimed. 'Why, Humanity is at last perfect! All the evils +of existence are removed; we neither of us believe in a God or a +celestial future; and we are both in full enjoyment of the higher +pleasures and the apprehension of scientific truth. And therefore I skip +because Humanity is so unspeakably happy, and I groan because it is so +unspeakably solemn.' + +'Alas! alas!' cried Virginia, 'and would not you like to kiss me?' + +'No,' said the Professor, sternly; 'and you would not like me to kiss +you. It is impossible that one half of Humanity should prefer the +pleasure of unlawful love to the pleasure of finding out scientific +truths.' + +'But,' pleaded Virginia, 'cannot we enjoy both?' + +'No,' said the Professor, 'for if I began to kiss you I should soon not +care two straws about the parasites of the missing link.' + +'Well, said Virginia, 'it is nice of you to say that; but still----Ah +me! Ah me!' + +And her bosom heaved slowly with a soft, long sigh. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + +Virginia was preparing, with a rueful face, to resume her enjoyment of +the higher pleasures, when a horrible smell, like that of an open drain, +was suddenly blown in through the window. + +Virginia stopped her nose with her handkerchief. The Professor's conduct +was very different. + +'Oh, rapture!' he cried, jumping up from his seat, 'I smell the missing +link.' And in another instant he was gone. + +'Well,' said Virginia, 'here is one comfort. Whilst Paul is away I shall +be relieved from the higher pleasures. Alas!' she cried, as she flung +herself down on the sofa, 'he is so nice-looking, and such an +enlightened thinker. But it is plain he has never loved, or else very +certainly he would love again.' + +Paul returned in about a couple of hours, again unsuccessful in his +search. + +'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'I am so glad you have not caught the creature!' + +'Glad!' echoed the Professor, 'glad! Do you know that till I have caught +the missing link the cause of glorious truth will suffer grievously? +The missing link is the token of the solemn fact of our origin from +inorganic matter. I did but catch one blessed glimpse of him. He had +certainly a silver band about his neck. He was about three feet high. He +was rolling in a lump of carrion. It is through him that we are related +to the stars--the holy, the glorious stars, about which we know so +little.' + +'Bother the stars!' said Virginia; 'I couldn't bear, Paul, that anything +should come between you and me. I have been thinking of you and longing +for you the whole time you have been away.' + +'What!' cried Paul, 'and how have you been able to forego the pleasures +of the intellect?' + +'I have deserted them,' cried Virginia, 'for the pleasures of the +imagination, which I gathered from you were also very ennobling. And I +found they were so; for I have been imagining that you loved me. Why is +the reality less ennobling than the imagination? Paul, you shall love +me; I will force you to love me. It will make us both so happy: we shall +never go to hell for it; and it cannot possibly cause the slightest +scandal.' + +The Professor was more bewildered than ever by these appeals. He +wondered how Humanity would ever get on if one half of it cared nothing +for pure truth, and persisted in following the vulgar impulses that had +been the most distinguishing feature of its benighted past--that is to +say, those ages of its existence of which any record has been preserved +for us. Luckily, however, Virginia came to his assistance. + +'I think I know, Paul,' she said, 'why I do not care as I should do for +the intellectual pleasures. We have both been seeking them by ourselves; +and we have been therefore egoistic hedonists. It is quite true, as you +say, that selfishness is a despicable thing. Let me,' she went on, +sitting down beside him, 'look through your microscope along with you. +I think perhaps, if we shared the pleasure, the missing link's parasites +might have some interest for me.' + +The Professor was overjoyed at this proposal. The two sat down side by +side, and tried their best to look simultaneously through the eye-piece +of the microscope. Virginia in a moment expressed herself much +satisfied. It is true they saw nothing; but their cheeks touched. The +Professor too seemed contented, and said they should both be in a state +of rapture when they had got the right focus. At last Virginia +whispered, with a soft smile-- + +'Suppose we put that nasty microscope aside; it is only in the way. And +then, oh, Paul; dear love, dove of a Paul! we can kiss each other to our +heart's content.' + +Paul thought Virginia quite incorrigible, and rushed headlong out of the +room. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +'Alas!' cried Paul, 'what can be done to convince one half of Humanity +that it is really devoted to the higher pleasures and does not care for +the lower--at least nothing to speak of?' The poor man was in a state of +dreadful perplexity, and felt wellnigh distracted. At last a light broke +in on him. He remembered that as one of his most revered masters, +Professor Tyndall, had admitted, a great part of Humanity would always +need a religion, and that Virginia now had none. He at once rushed back +to her. 'Ah!' he exclaimed, 'all is explained now. You cannot be in love +with me, for that would be unlawful passion. Unlawful passion is +unreasonable, and unreasonable passion would quite upset a system of +pure reason, which is what exact thought shows us is soon going to +govern the world. No! the emotions that you fancy are directed to me are +in reality cosmic emotion--in other words, are the reasonable religion +of the future. I must now initiate you in its solemn and unspeakably +significant worship.' + +'Religion!' exclaimed Virginia, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. +'It is not kind of you to be making fun of me. There is no God, no soul, +and no supernatural order, and above all there is no hell. How then can +you talk to me about religion?' + +'You,' replied Paul, 'are associating religion with theology, as indeed +the world hitherto always has done. But those two things, as Professor +Huxley well observes, have absolutely nothing to do with each other. "It +may be," says that great teacher, "that the object of a man's religion +is an ideal of sensual enjoyment, or----"' + +'Ah!' cried Virginia, 'that is my religion, Paul.' + +'Nonsense!' replied Paul; 'that cannot be the religion of half Humanity, +else high, holy, solemn, awful morality would never be able to stand on +its own basis. See, the night has fallen, the glorious moon has arisen, +the stupendous stars are sparkling in the firmament. Come down with me +to the sea-shore, where we may be face to face with nature, and I will +show you then what true religion--what true worship is.' + +The two went out together. They stood on the smooth sands, which +glittered white and silvery in the dazzling moonlight All was hushed. +The gentle murmur of the trees, and the soft splash of the sea, seemed +only to make the silence audible. The Professor paused close beside +Virginia, and took her hand. Virginia liked that, and thought that +religion without theology was not perhaps so bad after all. Meanwhile +Paul had fixed his eyes on the moon. Then, in a voice almost broken with +emotion, he whispered, 'The prayer of the man of science, it has been +said, must be for the most part of the silent sort. He who said that was +wrong. It need not be silent; it need only be inarticulate. I have +discovered an audible and a reasonable liturgy which will give utterance +to the full to the religion of exact thought. Let us both join our +voices, and let us croon at the moon.' + +The Professor at once began a long, low howling. Virginia joined him, +until she was out of breath. + +'Oh, Paul,' she said at last, 'is this more rational than the Lord's +Prayer?' + +'Yes,' said the Professor, 'for we can analyse and comprehend that; but +true religious feeling, as Professor Tyndall tells us, we can neither +analyse nor comprehend. See how big nature is, and how little--ah, how +little!--we know about it. Is it not solemn, and sublime, and awful? +Come let us howl again.' + +The Professor's devotional fervour grew every moment. At last he put his +hand to his mouth, and began hooting like an owl, till it seemed that +all the island echoed to him. The louder Paul hooted and howled, the +more near did he draw to Virginia. + +'Ah!' he said, as he put his arm about her waist, 'it is in solemn +moments like this that the solidarity of mankind becomes apparent.' + +Virginia, during the last few moments, had stuck her fingers in her +ears. She now took them out, and, throwing her arms round Paul's neck, +tried, with her cheek on his shoulder, to make another little hoot; but +the sound her lips formed was much more like a kiss. The power of +religion was at last too much for Paul. + +'For the sake of cosmic emotion,' he exclaimed, 'O other half of +Humanity, and for the sake of rational religion, both of which are +showing themselves under quite a new light to me, I will kiss you.' + +The Professor was bending down his face over her, when, as if by magic, +he started, stopped, and remained as one petrified. Amidst the sharp +silence, there rang a human shout from the rocks. + +'Oh!' shrieked Virginia, falling on her knees, 'it is a miracle! it is a +miracle! And I know--merciful heavens--I know the meaning of it. God is +angry with us for pretending that we do not believe on Him.' + +The Professor was as white as a sheet; but he struggled with his +perturbation manfully. + +'It is not a miracle,' he cried, 'but an hallucination. It is an axiom +with exact thinkers that all proofs of the miraculous are +hallucinations.' + +'See,' shrieked Virginia again, 'they are coming, they are coming. Do +not you see them?' + +Paul looked, and there sure enough, were two figures, a male and a +female, advancing slowly towards them, across the moonlit sand. + +'It is nothing,' cried Paul; 'it cannot possibly be anything. I protest, +in the name of science, that it is an optical delusion.' + +Suddenly the female figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is he!' + +In another moment the male figure exclaimed, 'Thank God, it is she!' + +'My husband!' gasped Virginia. + +'My wife!' replied the bishop, for it was none other than he. 'Welcome +to Chasuble Island. By the blessing of God it is on your own home you +have been wrecked, and you have been living in the very house that I had +intended to prepare for you. Providentially, too, Professor Darnley's +wife has called here, in her search for her husband, who has overstayed +his time. See, my love, my dove, my beauty, here is the monkey I +promised you as a pet, which broke loose a few days ago, and which I was +in the act of looking for when your joint cries attracted us, and we +found you.' + +A yell of delight here broke from the Professor. The eyes of the others +were turned on him, and he was seen embracing wildly a monkey which the +bishop led by a chain. 'The missing link! he exclaimed, 'the missing +link!' + +'Nonsense!' cried the sharp tones of a lady with a green gown and grey +corkscrew curls. 'It is nothing but a monkey that the good bishop has +been trying to tame for his wife. Don't you see her name engraved on +the collar?' + +The shrill accents acted like a charm upon Paul. He sprang away from the +creature that he had been just caressing. He gazed for a moment on +Virginia's lovely form, her exquisite toilette, and her melting eyes. +Then he turned wildly to the green gown and the grey corkscrew curls. +Sorrow and superstition, he felt, were again invading Humanity. 'Alas!' +he exclaimed at last, 'I do now indeed believe in hell.' + +'And I,' cried Virginia, with much greater tact, and rushing into the +arms of her bishop, 'once more believe in heaven.' + + + + +NOTES. + + +'We now find it (_the earth_) not only swathed by an atmosphere, and +covered by a sea, but also crowded with living things. The question is, +how were they introduced?... The conclusion of science would undoubtedly +be, that the molten earth contained within it elements of life, which +grouped themselves into their present forms as the planet cooled. The +difficulty and reluctance encountered by this conception arise _solely_ +from the fact that the theologic conception obtained a prior footing in +the human mind.... Were not man's origin implicated, we should accept +without a murmur the derivation of animal and vegetable life from what +we call inorganic nature. The conclusion of pure intellect points this +way, and no other.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'Is this egg (_from which the human being springs_) matter? I hold it to +be so, as much as the seed of a fern or of an oak. Nine months go to +the making of it into a man. Are the additions made during this period +of gestation drawn from matter? I think so, undoubtedly. If there be +anything besides matter in the egg, or in the infant subsequently +slumbering in the womb, what is it?' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'Matter I define as the mysterious thing by which all this is +accomplished.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'I do not think that the materialist is entitled to say that his +molecular groupings and motions explain everything. In reality, they +_explain_ nothing. PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'Who shall exaggerate the deadly influence on personal morality of those +theologies which have represented the Deity ... as a sort of pedantic +drill-sergeant of mankind, to whom no valour, no long-tried loyalty, +could atone for the misplacement of a button of the uniform, or the +misunderstanding of a paragraph of the "regulations and instructions"?' +PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'(_To the Jesuit imagination_) God is obviously a large individual, who +holds the leading-strings of the universe, and orders its steps from a +position outside it all.... According to it (_this notion_) the Power +whom Goethe does not dare to name, and whom Gassendi and Clark Maxwell +present to us under the guise of a manufacturer of atoms, turns out +annually, for England and Wales alone, a quarter of a million of new +souls. Taken in connection with the dictum of Mr. Carlyle, that this +annual increment to our population are "mostly fools," but little profit +to the human heart seems derivable from this mode of regarding the +divine operations.... In the presence of this mystery (_the mystery of +life_) the notion of an atomic manufacturer and artificer of souls, +raises the doubt whether those who entertain it were ever really +penetrated by the solemnity of the problem for which they offer such a +solution.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'I look forward, however, to a time when the strength, insight, and +elevation which now visit us in mere hints and glimpses, during moments +of clearness and vigour, shall be the stable and permanent possession +of purer and mightier minds than ours--purer and mightier, partly +because of their deeper knowledge of matter, and their more faithful +conformity to its laws.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'The world, as it is, is growing daily dimmer before my eyes. The world, +as it is to be, is ever growing brighter.' HARRIET MARTINEAU. + +'... When you and I, like streaks of morning cloud, shall have melted +into the infinite azure of the past.' PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'We, too, turn our thoughts to that which is behind the veil. We strive +to pierce its secret with eyes, we trust, as eager and as fearless, and +even, it may be, more patient in searching for realities behind the +gloom. That which shall come _after_ is no less solemn to us than to +you.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'Theological hypotheses of a new and heterogeneous existence have +deadened our interest in the realities, the grandeur, and the perpetuity +of an earthly life.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'As we read, the calm and humane words of Condorcet, on the very edge of +his yawning grave, we learn, from the conviction of posthumous activity +(not posthumous fame), how the consciousness of a living incorporation +with the glorious future of his race, can give a patience and happiness +equal to that of any martyr of theology.... Once make it (_i.e._ "this +sense of posthumous participation in the life of our fellows") the basis +of philosophy, the standard of right and wrong, and the centre of a +religion, and this (_the conversion of the masses_) will prove, perhaps, +an easier task than that of teaching Greeks and Romans, Syrians and +Moors, to look forward to a life of ceaseless psalmody in an immaterial +heaven.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'We make the future life, in the truest sense, social, inasmuch as our +future is simply an active existence prolonged by society; and our +future life rests not in any vague yearning, of which we have as little +evidence as we have definite conception: it rests on a perfectly certain +truth ... that the actions, feelings, thoughts, of each one of us, do +marvellously influence and mould each other.... Can we conceive a more +potent stimulus to rectitude, to daily and hourly striving after a true +life, than this ever-present sense that we are indeed immortal; not that +we have an immortal something within us--but that in very truth we +ourselves, our thinking, feeling, acting personalities, are immortal?' +MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'As we _live for others_ in life, so we _live in others_ after death.... +How deeply does such a belief as this bring home to each moment of life +the mysterious perpetuity of ourselves! For good, for evil, we cannot +die. We cannot shake ourselves free from this eternity of our +faculties.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'We cannot even say that we shall continue to love; but we know that we +shall be loved.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'It is only when an earthly future is the fulfilment of a worthy earthly +life, that we can see the majesty, as well as the glory, of the world +beyond the grave; and then only will it fulfil its moral and religious +purpose as the great guide of human conduct.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'I am confident that a brighter day is coming for future generations.' +HARRIET MARTINEAU. + +'The humblest life that ever turned a sod sends a wave--no, more than a +wave, a life--through the evergrowing harmony of human society.' MR. +FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'Not a single nature, in its entirety, but leaves its influence for good +or for evil. _As a fact, the good prevail_.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + +'To our friends and loved ones we shall give the most worthy honour and +tribute if we never say nor remember that they are dead, but, +contrariwise, that they have lived; that hereby the brotherly force and +flow of their action and work may be carried over the gulf of death, and +made immortal in the true and healthy life which they worthily had and +used.' PROFESSOR CLIFFORD. + +'It cannot be doubted that the "spiritual body" of this book (_The +Unseen Universe_) will be used to support a belief that the dead are +subject either to the _shame and suffering of a Christian Heaven_ and +Hell, or to the degrading service of a modern witch. From _each_ of +these _unspeakable profanities_ let us hope and endeavour that the +memories of great and worthy men may be finally relieved.' PROFESSOR +CLIFFORD. + +'I choose the noble part of Emerson, when, after various +disenchantments, he exclaimed, "I covet truth." The gladness of true +heroism visits the heart of him who is really competent to say this.' +PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'The highest, as it is the only, content is to be attained, not by +grovelling in the rank and steaming valleys of sense, but by continually +striving towards those high peaks, when, resting in eternal calm, reason +discerns the undefined but bright ideal of the highest good--"a cloud by +day, a pillar of fire by night."' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'If it can be shown by observation and experiment, that theft, murder, +and adultery, do not tend to diminish the happiness of society, then, in +the absence of any but natural knowledge, they are not social +immoralities.' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'For my own part, I do not for one moment admit that morality is not +strong enough to hold its own.' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'I object to the very general use of the terms religion and theology, as +if they were synonymous, or _indeed had anything whatever to do with one +another_.... Religion is an affair of the affections. It may be that the +object of a man's religion--the ideal which he worships--is an ideal of +sensual enjoyment.' PROFESSOR HUXLEY. + +'In his hour of health ... when the pause of reflection has set in, the +scientific investigator finds himself overshadowed with the same awe. It +associates him with a power which gives fulness and tone to his +existence, but which he can neither analyse nor comprehend.' PROFESSOR +TYNDALL. + +'He will see what drivellers even men of strenuous intellects may +become,' though exclusively dwelling and dealing with theological +chimeras. PROFESSOR TYNDALL. + +'The two kinds of cosmic emotion run together and become one. The +microcosm is viewed only in relation to human action, nature is +presented to the emotions as the guide and teacher of humanity. And the +microcosm is viewed only as tending to complete correspondence with the +external; human conduct is subject for reverence only in so far as it is +consonant to the demiurgic law, in harmony with the teaching of divine +Nature.' PROFESSOR CLIFFORD. + +'The world will have religion of some kind, even though it should fly +for it to the intellectual whoredom of "spiritualism."' PROFESSOR +TYNDALL. + +'All positive methods of treating man, of a comprehensive kind, adopt to +the full all that has ever been said about the dignity of man's moral +and spiritual life.... I do not confine my language to the philosophy or +religion of Comte; for the same conception of man is common to many +philosophies and many religions.' MR. FREDERIC HARRISON. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The New Paul and Virginia, by W. H. 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