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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Pencil Sketches, by Eliza Leslie
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Pencil Sketches
+       or, Outlines of Character and Manners
+
+Author: Eliza Leslie
+
+Release Date: September 30, 2011 [EBook #37573]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PENCIL SKETCHES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Julia Miller, Mary Meehan and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                             PENCIL SKETCHES:
+
+                                   OR,
+
+                    OUTLINES OF CHARACTER AND MANNERS.
+
+                             BY MISS LESLIE.
+
+    INCLUDING "MRS. WASHINGTON POTTS," AND "MR. SMITH," WITH OTHER STORIES.
+
+
+                "So runs the world away."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+    PHILADELPHIA:
+    A. HART, LATE CAREY & HART,
+    126 CHESTNUT STREET.
+    1852.
+
+    Entered, according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1852, by
+    A. HART, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United
+    States, in and for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.
+
+    E. B. M
+    EARS, STEREOTYPER. T. K. & P. G. COLLINS, PRINTERS.
+
+
+
+
+ADVERTISEMENT.
+
+
+The work from which the following is a selection, has been long out of
+print; and many inquiries have been made concerning it. Since its first
+appearance, a new generation of young people has grown up; and they may,
+perhaps, find amusement and improvement in pictures of domestic life,
+that were recognised as such by their mothers.
+
+The present volume will probably be succeeded by another, containing the
+remainder of the original Pencil Sketches, with additional stories.
+
+
+    ELIZA LESLIE.
+
+    UNITED STATES HOTEL,
+    Philadelphia, March 25th, 1852.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+
+MRS. WASHINGTON POTTS                                        13
+
+MR. SMITH                                                    50
+
+UNCLE PHILIP                                                 82
+
+THE ALBUM                                                   131
+
+THE SET OF CHINA                                            147
+
+LAURA LOVEL                                                 157
+
+JOHN W. ROBERTSON; A TALE OF A CENT                         197
+
+THE LADIES' BALL                                            217
+
+THE RED BOX; OR, SCENES AT THE GENERAL WAYNE                240
+
+THE OFFICERS; A STORY OF THE LAST WAR WITH ENGLAND          266
+
+PETER JONES; A SKETCH FROM LIFE                             297
+
+THE OLD FARM-HOUSE                                          314
+
+THAT GENTLEMAN; OR, PENCILLINGS ON SHIP-BOARD               333
+
+THE SERENADES                                               358
+
+SOCIABLE VISITING                                           376
+
+COUNTRY LODGINGS                                            402
+
+CONSTANCE ALLERTON; OR, THE MOURNING SUITS                  415
+
+
+
+
+MRS. WASHINGTON POTTS.
+
+     "The course of _parties_ never does run smooth."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Bromley Cheston, an officer in the United States navy, had just returned
+from a three years' cruise in the Mediterranean. His ship came into New
+York; and after he had spent a week with a sister that was married in
+Boston, he could not resist his inclination to pay a visit to his
+maternal aunt, who had resided since her widowhood at one of the small
+towns on the banks of the Delaware.
+
+The husband of Mrs. Marsden had not lived long enough to make his
+fortune, and it was his last injunction that she should retire with her
+daughter to the country, or at least to a country town. He feared that
+if she remained in Philadelphia she would have too many temptations to
+exercise her taste for unnecessary expense: and that, in consequence,
+the very moderate income, which was all he was able to leave her, would
+soon be found insufficient to supply her with comforts.
+
+We will not venture to say that duty to his aunt Marsden was the young
+lieutenant's only incentive to this visit: as she had a beautiful
+daughter about eighteen, for whom, since her earliest childhood, Bromley
+Cheston had felt something a little more vivid than the usual degree of
+regard that boys think sufficient for their cousins. His family had
+formerly lived in Philadelphia, and till he went into the navy Bromley
+and Albina were in habits of daily intercourse. Afterwards, on returning
+from sea, he always, as soon as he set his foot on American ground,
+began to devise means of seeing his pretty cousin, however short the
+time and however great the distance. And it was in meditation on
+Albina's beauty and sprightliness that he had often "while sailing on
+the midnight deep," beguiled the long hours of the watch, and thus
+rendered more tolerable that dreariest part of a seaman's duty.
+
+On arriving at the village, Lieutenant Cheston immediately established
+his quarters at the hotel, fearing that to become an inmate of his
+aunt's house might cause her some inconvenience. Though he had performed
+the whole journey in a steamboat, he could not refrain from changing his
+waistcoat, brushing his coat sleeves, brushing his hat, brushing his
+hair, and altering the tie of his cravat. Though he had "never told his
+love," it cannot be said that concealment had "preyed on his damask
+cheek;" the only change in that damask having been effected by the sun
+and wind of the ocean.
+
+Mrs. Marsden lived in a small modest-looking white house, with a green
+door and green venetian shutters. In early summer the porch was canopied
+and perfumed with honeysuckle, and the windows with roses. In front was
+a flower-garden, redolent of sweetness and beauty; behind was a
+well-stored _potager_, and a flourishing little orchard. The windows
+were amply shaded by the light and graceful foliage of some beautiful
+locust trees.
+
+"What a lovely spot!" exclaimed Cheston--and
+innocence--modesty--candour--contentment--peace--simple
+pleasures--intellectual enjoyments--and various other delightful ideas
+chased each other rapidly through his mind.
+
+When he knocked at the door, it was opened by a black girl named Drusa,
+who had been brought up in the family, and whose delight on seeing him
+was so great that she could scarcely find it in her heart to tell him
+that "the ladies were both out, or at least partly out." Cheston,
+however, more than suspected that they were wholly at home, for he saw
+his aunt peeping over the bannisters, and had a glimpse of his cousin
+flitting into the back parlour; and besides, the whole domicile was
+evidently in some great commotion, strongly resembling that horror of
+all men, a house-cleaning. The carpets had been removed, and the hall
+was filled with the parlour-chairs: half of them being turned bottom
+upwards on the others, with looking-glasses and pictures leaning against
+them; and he knew that, on such occasions, the ladies of a family in
+middle life are never among the missing.
+
+"Go and give Lieutenant Cheston's compliments to your ladies," said he,
+"and let them know that he is waiting to see them."
+
+Mrs. Marsden now ran down stairs in a wrapper and morning cap, and gave
+her nephew a very cordial reception. "Our house is just now in such
+confusion," said she, "that I have no place to invite you to sit down
+in, except the back porch."--And there they accordingly took their
+seats.
+
+"Do not suppose," continued Mrs. Marsden, "that we are cleaning house:
+but we are going to have a party to-night, and therefore you are most
+fortunate in your arrival, for I think I can promise you a very pleasant
+evening. We have sent invitations to all the most genteel families
+within seven miles, and I can assure you there was a great deal of
+trouble in getting the notes conveyed. We have also asked a number of
+strangers from the city, who happen to be boarding in the village; we
+called on them for that purpose. If all that are invited were to come,
+we should have a complete squeeze; but unluckily we have received an
+unusual number of regrets, and some have as yet returned no answers at
+all. However, we are sure of Mrs. Washington Potts."
+
+"I see," said Cheston, "you are having your parlours papered."--"Yes,"
+replied Mrs. Marsden, "we could not possibly have a party with that
+old-fashioned paper on the walls, and we sent to the city a week ago for
+a man to come and bring with him some of the newest patterns, but he
+never made his appearance till last night after we had entirely given
+him up, and after we had had the rooms put in complete order in other
+respects. But he says, as the parlours are very small, he can easily put
+on the new paper before evening, so we thought it better to take up the
+carpets, and take down the curtains, and undo all that we did yesterday,
+rather than the walls should look old-fashioned. I _did_ intend having
+them painted, which would of course be much better, only that there was
+no time to get _that_ done before the party; so we must defer the
+painting now for three or four years, till this new paper has grown
+old."
+
+"But where is Albina?" asked Cheston.
+
+"The truth is," answered Mrs. Marsden, "she is very busy making cakes;
+as in this place we can buy none that are fit for a party. Luckily
+Albina is very clever at all such things, having been a pupil of Mrs.
+Goodfellow. But there is certainly a great deal of trouble in getting up
+a party in the country."
+
+Just then the black girl, Drusa, made her appearance, and said to Mrs.
+Marsden, "I've been for that there bean you call wanilla, and Mr. Brown
+says he never heard of such a thing."
+
+"A man that keeps so large a store has no right to be so ignorant,"
+remarked Mrs. Marsden. "Then, Drusa, we must flavour the ice-cream with
+lemon."
+
+"There a'n't no more lemons to be had," said the girl, "and we've just
+barely enough for the lemonade."
+
+"Then some of the lemons must be taken for the ice-cream," replied Mrs.
+Marsden, "and we must make out the lemonade with cream of tartar."
+
+"I forgot to tell you," said Drusa, "that Mrs. Jones says she can't
+spare no more cream, upon no account."
+
+"How vexatious!" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden. "I wish we had two cows of our
+own--one is not sufficient when we are about giving a party. Drusa, we
+must make out the ice-cream by thickening some milk with eggs."
+
+"Eggs are scace," replied the girl, "Miss Albinar uses up so many for
+the cakes."
+
+"She must spare some eggs from the cakes," said Mrs. Marsden, "and make
+out the cakes by adding a little pearl-ash. Go directly and tell her
+so."
+
+Cheston, though by no means _au fait_ to the mysteries of confectionary,
+could not help smiling at all this making out--"Really," said his aunt,
+"these things are very annoying. And as this party is given to Mrs.
+Washington Potts, it is extremely desirable that nothing should fail.
+There is no such thing now as having company, unless we can receive and
+entertain them in a certain style."
+
+"I perfectly remember," said Cheston, "the last party at which I was
+present in your house. I was then a midshipman, and it was just before I
+sailed on my first cruise in the Pacific. I spent a delightful evening."
+
+"Yes, I recollect that night," replied Mrs. Marsden. "In those days it
+was not necessary for us to support a certain style, and parties were
+then very simple things, except among people of the first rank. It was
+thought sufficient to have two or three baskets of substantial cakes at
+tea, some almonds, raisins, apples, and oranges, handed round
+afterwards, with wine and cordial, and then a large-sized pound-cake at
+the last. The company assembled at seven o'clock, and generally walked;
+for the ladies' dresses were only plain white muslin. We invited but as
+many as could be accommodated with seats. The young people played at
+forfeits, and sung English and Scotch songs, and at the close of the
+evening danced to the piano. How Mrs. Washington Potts would be shocked
+if she was to find herself at one of those obsolete parties!"
+
+"The calf-jelly won't be clear," said the black girl, again making her
+appearance. "Aunt Katy has strained it five times over through the
+flannen-bag."
+
+"Go then and tell her to strain it five-and-twenty times," said Mrs.
+Marsden angrily--"It must and shall be clear. Nothing is more vulgar
+than clouded jelly; Mrs. Washington Potts will not touch it unless it is
+transparent as amber."
+
+"What, Nong tong paw again!" said Cheston. "Now do tell me who is Mrs.
+Washington Potts?"
+
+"Is it possible you have not heard of her?" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden.
+
+"Indeed I have not," replied Cheston. "You forget that for several years
+I have been cruising on classic ground, and I can assure you that the
+name of Mrs. Washington Potts has not yet reached the shores of the
+Mediterranean."
+
+"She is wife to a gentleman that has made a fortune in New Orleans,"
+pursued Mrs. Marsden. "They came last winter to live in Philadelphia,
+having first visited London and Paris. During the warm weather they took
+lodgings in this village, and we have become quite intimate. So we have
+concluded to give them a party, previous to their return to
+Philadelphia, which is to take place immediately. She is a charming
+woman, though she certainly makes strange mistakes in talking. You have
+no idea how sociable she is, at least since she returned our call;
+which, to be sure, was not till the end of a week; and Albina and I had
+sat up in full dress to receive her for no less than five days: that is,
+from twelve o'clock till three. At last she came, and it would have
+surprised you to see how affably she behaved to us."
+
+"Not at all," said Cheston, "I should not have expected that she would
+have treated you rudely."
+
+"She really," continued Mrs. Marsden, "grew quite intimate before her
+visit was over, and took our hands at parting. And as she went out
+through the garden, she stopped to admire Albina's moss-roses: so we
+could do no less than give her all that were blown. From that day she
+has always sent to us when she wants flowers."
+
+"No doubt of it," said Cheston.
+
+"You cannot imagine," pursued Mrs. Marsden, "on what a familiar footing
+we are. She has a high opinion of Albina's taste, and often gets her to
+make up caps and do other little things for her. When any of her
+children are sick, she never sends anywhere else for currant jelly or
+preserves. Albina makes gingerbread for them every Saturday. During the
+holidays she frequently sent her three boys to spend the day with us.
+There is the very place in the railing where Randolph broke out a stick
+to whip Jefferson with, because Jefferson had thrown in his face a hot
+baked apple which the mischievous little rogue had stolen out of Katy's
+oven."
+
+In the mean time Albina had taken off the brown holland bib apron which
+she had worn all day in the kitchen, and telling the cook to watch
+carefully the plum-cake that was baking, she hastened to her room by a
+back staircase, and proceeded to take the pins out of her hair; for
+where is the young lady that on any emergency whatever, would appear
+before a young gentleman with her hair pinned up? Though, just now, the
+opening out of her curls was a considerable inconvenience to Albina, as
+she had bestowed much time and pains on putting them up for the evening.
+
+Finally she came down in "prime array;" and Cheston, who had left her a
+school-girl, found her now grown to womanhood, and more beautiful than
+ever. Still he could not forbear reproving her for treating him so much
+as a stranger, and not coming to him at once in her morning-dress.
+
+"Mrs. Washington Potts," said Albina, "is of opinion that a young lady
+should never be seen in dishabille by a gentleman."
+
+Cheston now found it very difficult to hear the name of Mrs. Potts with
+patience.--"Albina," thought he, "is bewitched as well as her mother."
+
+He spoke of his cruise in the Mediterranean; and Albina told him that
+she had seen a beautiful view of the bay of Naples in a souvenir
+belonging to Mrs. Washington Potts.
+
+"I have brought with me some sketches of Mediterranean scenery," pursued
+Cheston. "You know I draw a little. I promise myself great pleasure in
+showing and explaining them to you."
+
+"Oh! do send them this afternoon," exclaimed Albina. "They will be the
+very things for the centre-table. I dare say the Montagues will
+recognise some of the places they have seen in Italy, for they have
+travelled all over the south of Europe."
+
+"And who are the Montagues?" inquired Cheston.
+
+"They are a very elegant English family," answered Mrs. Marsden,
+"cousins in some way to several noblemen."
+
+"Perhaps so," said Cheston.
+
+"Albina met with them at the lodgings of Mrs. Washington Potts," pursued
+Mrs. Marsden, "where they have been staying a week for the benefit of
+country air; and so she enclosed her card, and sent them invitations to
+her party. They have as yet returned no answer; but that is no proof
+they will not come, for perhaps it may be the newest fashion in England
+not to answer notes."
+
+"You know the English are a very peculiar people," remarked Albina.
+
+"And what other lions have you provided?" said Cheston.
+
+"Oh! no others except a poet," replied Albina. "Have you never heard of
+Bewley Garvin Gandy?"
+
+"Never!" answered Cheston. "Is that all one man?"
+
+"Nonsense," replied Albina; "you know that poets generally have three
+names. B. G, G. was formerly Mr. Gandy's signature when he wrote only
+for the newspapers, but now since he has come out in the magazines, and
+annuals, and published his great poem of the World of Sorrow, he gives
+his name at full length. He has tried law, physic, and divinity, and has
+resigned all for the Muses. He is a great favourite of Mrs. Washington
+Potts."
+
+"And now, Albina," said Cheston, "as I know you can have but little
+leisure to-day, I will only detain you while you indulge me with 'Auld
+lang syne'--I see the piano has been moved out into the porch."
+
+"Yes," said Mrs. Marsden, "on account of the parlour papering."
+
+"Oh! Bromley Cheston," exclaimed Albina, "do not ask me to play any of
+those antediluvian Scotch songs. Mrs. Washington Potts cannot tolerate
+anything but Italian."
+
+Cheston, who had no taste for Italian, immediately took his hat, and
+apologizing for the length of his stay, was going away with the thought
+that Albina had much deteriorated in growing up.
+
+"We shall see you this evening without the ceremony of a further
+invitation?" said Albina.
+
+"Of course," replied Cheston.
+
+"I quite long to introduce you to Mrs. Washington Potts," said Mrs.
+Marsden.
+
+"What simpletons these women are!" thought Cheston, as he hastily turned
+to depart.
+
+"The big plum-cake's burnt to a coal," said Drusa, putting her head out
+of the kitchen door.
+
+Both the ladies were off in an instant to the scene of disaster. And
+Cheston returned to his hotel, thinking of Mrs. Potts (whom he had made
+up his mind to dislike), of the old adage that "evil communication
+corrupts good manners," and of the almost irresistible contagion of
+folly and vanity. "I am disappointed in Albina," said he; "in future I
+will regard her only as my mother's niece, and more than a cousin she
+shall never be to me."
+
+Albina having assisted Mrs. Marsden in lamenting over the burnt cake,
+took off her silk frock, again pinned up her hair, and joined
+assiduously in preparing another plum-cake to replace the first one. A
+fatality seemed to attend nearly all the confections, as is often the
+case when particular importance is attached to their success. The jelly
+obstinately refused to clarify, and the blanc-mange was equally
+unwilling to congeal. The maccaroons having run in baking, had neither
+shape nor feature, the kisses declined rising, and the sponge-cake
+contradicted its name. Some of the things succeeded, but most were
+complete failures: probably because (as old Katy insisted) "there was a
+spell upon them." In a city these disasters could easily have been
+remedied (even at the eleventh hour) by sending to a confectioner's
+shop, but in the country there is no alternative. Some of these
+mischances might perhaps have been attributed to the volunteered
+assistance of a mantua-maker that had been sent for from the city to
+make new dresses for the occasion, and who on this busy day, being "one
+of the best creatures in the world," had declared her willingness to
+turn her hand to anything.
+
+It was late in the afternoon before the papering was over, and then
+great indeed was the bustle in clearing away the litter, cleaning the
+floors, putting down the carpets, and replacing the furniture. In the
+midst of the confusion, and while the ladies were earnestly engaged in
+fixing the ornaments, Drusa came in to say that Dixon, the waiter that
+had been hired for the evening, had just arrived, and falling to work
+immediately he had poured all the blanc-mange down the sink, mistaking
+it for bonnyclabber.[1] This intelligence was almost too much to bear,
+and Mrs. Marsden could scarcely speak for vexation.
+
+[Footnote 1: Thick sour milk.]
+
+"Drusa," said Albina, "you are a raven that has done nothing all day but
+croak of disaster. Away, and show your face no more, let what will
+happen."
+
+Drusa departed, but in a few minutes she again put in her head at the
+parlour door and said, "Ma'am, may I jist speak one time more?"
+
+"What now?" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden.
+
+"Oh! there's nothing else spiled or flung down the sink, jist now," said
+Drusa, "but something's at hand a heap worse than all. Missus's old Aunt
+Quimby has jist landed from the boat, and is coming up the road with
+baggage enough to last all summer."
+
+"Aunt Quimby!" exclaimed Albina; "this indeed caps the climax!"
+
+"Was there ever anything more provoking!" said Mrs. Marsden. "When I
+lived in town she annoyed me sufficiently by coming every week to spend
+a day with me, and now she does not spend days but _weeks_. I would go
+to Alabama to get rid of her."
+
+"And then," said Albina, "she would come and spend _months_ with us.
+However, to do her justice, she is a very respectable woman."
+
+"All bores are respectable people," replied Mrs. Marsden; "if they were
+otherwise, it would not be in their power to bore us, for we could cut
+them and cast them off at once. How very unlucky! What will Mrs.
+Washington Potts think of her--and the Montagues too, if they _should_
+come? Still we must not affront her, as you know she is rich."
+
+"What can her riches signify to us?" said Albina; "she has a married
+daughter."
+
+"True," replied Mrs. Marsden, "but you know riches should always command
+a certain degree of respect, and there are such things as legacies."
+
+"After all, according to the common saying, 'tis an ill wind that blows
+no good;' the parlours having been freshly papered, we can easily
+persuade Aunt Quimby that they are too damp for her to sit in, and so we
+can make her stay up stairs all the evening."
+
+At this moment the old lady's voice was heard at the door, discharging
+the porter who had brought her baggage on his wheelbarrow; and the next
+minute she was in the front parlour. Mrs. Marsden and Albina were
+properly astonished, and, properly delighted at seeing her; but each,
+after a pause of recollection, suddenly seized the old lady by the arms
+and conveyed her into the entry, exclaiming, "Oh! Aunt Quimby! Aunt
+Quimby! this is no place for you."
+
+"What's the meaning of all this?" cried Mrs. Quimby; "why won't you let
+me stay in the parlour?"
+
+"You'll get your death," answered Mrs. Marsden, "you'll get the
+rheumatism. Both parlours have been newly papered to-day, and the walls
+are quite wet."
+
+"That's a bad thing," said Mrs. Quimby, "a very bad thing. I wish you
+had put off your papering till next spring. Who'd have thought of your
+doing it this day of all days?"
+
+"Oh! Aunt Quimby," said Albina, "why did you not let us know that you
+were coming?"
+
+"Why, I wanted to give you an agreeable surprise," replied the old lady.
+"But tell me why the rooms are so decked out, with flowers hanging about
+the looking-glasses and lamps, and why the candles are dressed with cut
+paper, or something that looks like it?"
+
+"We are going to have a party to-night," said Albina.
+
+"A party! I'm glad of it. Then I'm come just in the nick of time."
+
+"I thought you had long since given up parties," said Mrs. Marsden,
+turning pale.
+
+"No, indeed--why should I--I always go when I am asked--to be sure I
+can't make much figure at parties now, being in my seventy-fifth year.
+But Mrs. Howks and Mrs. Himes, and several others of my old friends,
+always invite me to their daughters' parties, along with Mary; and I
+like to sit there and look about me, and see people's new ways. Mary had
+a party herself last winter, and it went off very well, only that both
+the children came out that night with the measles; and one of the lamps
+leaked, and the oil ran all over the side-board and streamed down on the
+carpet; and, it being the first time we ever had ice-cream in the house,
+Peter, the stupid black boy, not only brought saucers to eat it in, but
+cups and saucers both."
+
+The old lady was now hurried up stairs, and she showed much
+dissatisfaction on being told that as the damp parlours would certainly
+give her her death, there was no alternative but for her to remain all
+the evening in the chamber allotted to her. This chamber (the best
+furnished in the house) was also to be 'the ladies' room,' and Albina
+somewhat consoled Mrs. Quimby by telling her that as the ladies would
+come up there to take off their hoods and arrange their hair, she would
+have an opportunity of seeing them all before they went down stairs. And
+Mrs. Marsden promised to give orders that a portion of all the
+refreshments should be carried up to her, and that Miss Matson, the
+mantua-maker, should sit with her a great part of the evening.
+
+It was now time for Albina and her mother to commence dressing, but Mrs.
+Marsden went down stairs again with 'more last words' to the servants,
+and Albina to make some change in the arrangement of the centre-table.
+
+She was in a loose gown, her curls were pinned up, and to keep them
+close and safe, she had tied over her head an old gauze handkerchief.
+While bending over the centre-table, and marking with rose-leaves some
+of the most beautiful of Mrs. Hemans' poems, and opening two or three
+souvenirs at their finest plates, a knock was suddenly heard at the
+door, which proved to be the baker with the second plum-cake, it having
+been consigned to _his_ oven. Albina desired him to bring it to her, and
+putting it on the silver waiter, she determined to divide it herself
+into slices, being afraid to trust that business to any one else, lest
+it should be awkwardly cut, or broken to pieces; it being quite warm.
+
+The baker went out, leaving the front door open, and Albina, intent on
+her task of cutting the cake, did not look up till she heard the sound
+of footsteps in the parlour; and then what was her dismay on perceiving
+Mr. and Mrs. Montague and their daughter.
+
+Albina's first impulse was to run away, but she saw that it was now too
+late; and, pale with confusion and vexation, she tried to summon
+sufficient self-command to enable her to pass off this _contre-tems_
+with something like address.
+
+It was not yet dusk, the sun being scarcely down, and of all the persons
+invited to the party, it was natural to suppose that the English family
+would have come the latest.
+
+Mr. Montague was a long-bodied short-legged man, with round gray eyes,
+that looked as if they had been put on the outside of his face, the
+sockets having no apparent concavity: a sort of eye that is rarely seen
+in an American. He had a long nose and a large heavy mouth with
+projecting under-teeth, and altogether an unusual quantity of face;
+which face was bordered round with whiskers, that began at his eyes and
+met under his chin, and resembled in texture the coarse wiry fur of a
+black bear. He kept his hat under his arm, and his whole dress seemed as
+if modelled from one of the caricature prints of a London dandy.
+
+Mrs. Montague (evidently some years older than her husband) was a
+gigantic woman, with features that looked as if seen through a
+magnifying glass. She wore heavy piles of yellowish curls, and a crimson
+velvet tocque. Her daughter was a tall hard-faced girl of seventeen,
+meant for a child by her parents, but not meaning herself as such. She
+was dressed in a white muslin frock and trowsers, and had a mass of
+black hair curling on her neck and shoulders.
+
+They all fixed their large eyes directly upon Albina, and it was no
+wonder that she quailed beneath their glance, or rather their stare,
+particularly when Mrs. Montague surveyed her through her eye-glass. Mr.
+Montague spoke first. "Your note did not specify the hour--Miss--Miss
+Martin," said he, "and as you Americans are early people, we thought we
+were complying with the simplicity of republican manners by coming
+before dark. We suppose that in general you adhere to the primitive
+maxim of 'early to bed and early to rise.' I forget the remainder of the
+rhyme, but _you_ know it undoubtedly."
+
+Albina at that moment wished for the presence of Bromley Cheston. She
+saw from the significant looks that passed between the Montagues, that
+the unseasonable earliness of this visit did not arise from their
+ignorance of the customs of American society, but from premeditated
+impertinence. And she regretted still more having invited them, when Mr.
+Montague with impudent familiarity walked up to the cake (which she had
+nicely cut into slices without altering its form) and took one of them
+out.--"Miss Martin," said he, "your cake looks so inviting that I cannot
+refrain from helping myself to a piece. Mrs. Montague, give me leave to
+present one to you. Miss Montague, will you try a slice?"
+
+They sat down on the sofa, each with a piece of cake, and Albina saw
+that they could scarcely refrain from laughing openly, not only at her
+dishabille, but at her disconcerted countenance.
+
+Just at this moment, Drusa appeared at the door, and called out, "Miss
+Albinar, the presarved squinches are all working. Missus found 'em so
+when she opened the jar." Albina could bear no more, but hastily
+darting out of the room, she ran up stairs almost crying with vexation.
+
+Old Mrs. Quimby was loud in her invectives against Mr. Montague for
+spoiling the symmetry of the cake, and helping himself and his family so
+unceremoniously. "You may rely upon it," said she, "a man that will do
+such a thing in a strange house is no gentleman."
+
+"On the contrary," observed Mrs. Marsden, "I have no doubt that in
+England these free and easy proceedings are high ton. Albina, have not
+you read some such things in Vivian Grey?"
+
+"I do not believe," said Mrs. Quimby, "that if this Englishman was in
+his own country, he would dare to go and take other people's cake
+without leave or license. But he thinks any sort of behaviour good
+enough for the Yankees, as they call us."
+
+"I care not for the cake," said Albina, "although the pieces must now be
+put into baskets; I only think of the Montagues walking in without
+knocking, and catching me in complete dishabille: after I had kept poor
+Bromley Cheston waiting half an hour this morning rather than he should
+see me in my pink gingham gown and with my hair in pins."
+
+"As sure as sixpence," remarked Mrs. Quimby, "this last shame has come
+upon you as a punishment for your pride to your own cousin."
+
+Mrs. Marsden having gone into the adjoining room to dress, Albina
+remained in this, and placed herself before the glass for the same
+purpose. "Heigho!" said she, "how pale and jaded I look! What a
+fatiguing day I have had! I have been on my feet since five o'clock this
+morning, and I feel now more fit to go to bed than to add to my
+weariness by the task of dressing, and then playing the agreeable for
+four or five hours. I begin to think that parties (at least such parties
+as are now in vogue) should only be given by persons who have large
+houses, large purses, conveniences of every description, and servants
+enough to do all that is necessary."
+
+"Albina is talking quite sensibly," said Aunt Quimby to Mrs. Marsden,
+who came in to see if her daughter required her assistance in dressing.
+
+"Pho!" said Mrs. Marsden, "think of the eclat of giving a party to Mrs.
+Washington Potts, and of having the Montagues among the guests! We shall
+find the advantage of it when we visit the city again."
+
+"Albina," said Aunt Quimby, "now we are about dressing, just quit for a
+few moments and help me on with my long stays and my new black silk
+gown, and let me have the glass awhile; I am going to wear my lace cap
+with the white satin riband. This dark calico gown and plain muslin cap
+won't do at all to sit here in, before all the ladies that are coming
+up."
+
+"Oh! no matter," replied Albina, who was unwilling to relinquish the
+glass or to occupy any of her time by assisting her aunt in dressing
+(which was always a troublesome and tedious business with the old lady);
+and her mother had now gone down to be ready for the reception of the
+company, and to pay her compliments to the Montagues. "Oh! no matter,"
+said Albina, "your present dress looks perfectly well; and the ladies
+will be too much engaged with themselves and their own dresses, to
+remark anything else. No one will observe whether your gown is calico or
+silk, and whether your cap is muslin or lace. Elderly ladies are always
+privileged to wear what is most convenient to them."
+
+Albina put on the new dress that the mantua-maker had made for her. When
+she tried it on the preceding evening Miss Matson declared that "it
+fitted like wax." She now found that it was scarcely possible to get it
+on at all, and that one side of the forebody was larger than the other.
+Miss Matson was called up, and by dint of the pulling, stretching, and
+smoothing well known to mantua-makers, and still more by means of her
+pertinacious assurances that the dress had no fault whatever, Albina was
+obliged to acknowledge that she _could_ wear it, and the redundancy of
+the large side was pinned down and pinned over. In sticking in her comb
+she broke it in half, and it was long before she could arrange her hair
+to her satisfaction without it. Before she had completed her toilette,
+several of the ladies arrived and came into the room; and Albina was
+obliged to snatch up her paraphernalia, and make her escape into the
+next apartment.
+
+At last she was dressed--she went down stairs. The company arrived fast,
+and the party began.
+
+Bromley Cheston had come early to assist in doing the honours, and as he
+led Albina to a seat, he saw that, in spite of her smiles, she looked
+weary and out of spirits; and he pitied her. "After all," thought he,
+"there is much that is interesting about Albina Marsden."
+
+The party was _very_ select, consisting of the élite of the village and
+its neighbourhood; but still, as is often the case, those whose presence
+was most desirable had sent excuses, and those who were not wanted had
+taken care to come. And Miss Boreham (a young lady who, having nothing
+else to recommend her, had been invited solely on account of the usual
+elegance of her attire, and whose dress was expected to add prodigiously
+to the effect of the rooms), came most unaccountably in an old faded
+frock of last year's fashion, with her hair quite plain, and tucked
+behind her ears with two side-combs. Could she have had a suspicion of
+the reason for which she was generally invited, and have therefore
+perversely determined on a reaction?
+
+The Montagues sat together in a corner, putting up their eye-glasses at
+every one that entered the room, and criticising the company in loud
+whispers to each other; poor Mrs. Marsden endeavouring to catch
+opportunities of paying her court to them.
+
+About nine o'clock, appeared an immense cap of blond lace, gauze riband,
+and flowers; and under the cap was Mrs. Washington Potts, a little,
+thin, trifling-looking woman with a whitish freckled face, small sharp
+features, and flaxen hair. She leaned on the arm of Mr. Washington
+Potts, who was nothing in company or anywhere else; and she led by the
+hand a little boy in a suit of scarlet, braided and frogged with blue: a
+pale rat-looking child, whose name she pronounced Laughy-yet, meaning La
+Fayette; and who being the youngest scion of the house of Potts, always
+went to parties with his mother, because he would not stay at home.
+
+Bromley Cheston, on being introduced to Mrs. Washington Potts, was
+surprised at the insignificance of her figure and face. He had imagined
+her tall in stature, large in feature, loud in voice, and in short the
+very counterpart to Mrs. Montague. He found her, however, as he had
+supposed, replete with vanity, pride, ignorance, and folly: to which she
+added a sickening affectation of sweetness and amiability, and a flimsy
+pretension to extraordinary powers of conversation, founded on a
+confused assemblage of incorrect and superficial ideas, which she
+mistook for a general knowledge of everything in the world.
+
+Mrs. Potts was delighted with the handsome face and figure, and the very
+genteel appearance of the young lieutenant, and she bestowed upon him a
+large portion of her talk.
+
+"I hear, sir," said she, "you have been in the Mediterranean Sea. A
+sweet pretty place, is it not?"
+
+"Its shores," replied Cheston, "are certainly very beautiful."
+
+"Yes, I should admire its chalky cliffs vastly," resumed Mrs. Potts;
+"they are quite poetical, you know. Pray, sir, which do you prefer,
+Byron or Bonaparte? I dote upon Byron; and considering what sweet verses
+he wrote, 'tis a pity he was a corsair, and a vampyre pirate, and all
+such horrid things. As for Bonaparte, I never could endure him after I
+found that he had cut off poor old King George's head. Now, when we talk
+of great men, my husband is altogether for Washington. I laugh, and tell
+Mr. Potts it's because he and Washington are namesakes. How do you like
+La Fayette?"--(pronouncing the name à la canaille).
+
+"The man, or the name?" inquired Cheston.
+
+"Oh! both to be sure. You see we have called our youngest blossom after
+him. Come here, La Fayette, stand forward, my dear; hold up your head,
+and make a bow to the gentleman."
+
+"I won't," screamed La Fayette. "I'll never make a bow when you tell
+me."
+
+"Something of the spirit of his ancestors," said Mrs. Potts, affectedly
+smiling to Cheston, and patting the urchin on the head.
+
+"His ancestors!" thought Cheston. "Who could they possibly have been?"
+
+"Perhaps the dear fellow may be a little, a very little spoiled,"
+pursued Mrs. Potts. "But to make a comparison in the marine line (quite
+in your way, you know), it is as natural for a mother's heart to turn to
+her youngest darling, as it is for the needle to point out the
+longitude. Now we talk of longitude, have you read Cooper's last novel,
+by the author of the Spy? It's a sweet book--Cooper is one of my pets. I
+saw him in dear, delightful Paris. Are you musical, Mr. Cheston?--But of
+course you are. Our whole aristocracy is musical now. How do you like
+Paganini? You must have heard him in Europe. It's a very expensive thing
+to hear Paganini.--Poor man! he is quite ghastly with his own playing.
+Well, as you have been in the Mediterranean, which do you prefer, the
+Greeks or the Poles?"
+
+"The Poles, decidedly," answered Cheston, "from what I have heard of
+_them_, and seen of the Greeks."
+
+"Well, for my part," resumed Mrs. Potts, "I confess I like the Greeks,
+as I have always been rather classical. They are so Grecian. Think of
+their beautiful statues and paintings by Rubens and Reynolds. Are you
+fond of paintings? At my house in the city, I can show you some very
+fine ones."
+
+"By what artists?" asked Cheston.
+
+"Oh! by my daughter Harriet. She did them at drawing-school with
+theorems. They are beautiful flower-pieces, all framed and hung up; they
+are almost worthy of Sir Benjamin West."[2]
+
+[Footnote 2: The author takes this occasion to remark, that the
+illustrious artist to whom so many of his countrymen erroneously give
+the title of Sir Benjamin West, never in reality had the compliment of
+knighthood conferred on him. He lived and died _Mr._ West, as is well
+known to all who have any acquaintance with pictures and painters.]
+
+In this manner Mrs. Potts ran on till the entrance of tea, and Cheston
+took that opportunity of escaping from her; while she imagined him
+deeply imbued with admiration of her fluency, vivacity, and variety of
+information. But in reality, he was thinking of the strange depravity of
+taste that is sometimes found even in intelligent minds; for in no other
+way could he account for Albina's predilection for Mrs. Washington
+Potts. "And yet," thought he, "is a young and inexperienced girl more
+blameable for her blindness in friendship (or what she imagines to be
+friendship), than an acute, sensible, talented man for his blindness in
+love? The master-spirits of the earth have almost proverbially married
+women of weak intellect, and almost as proverbially the children of such
+marriages resemble the mother rather than the father. A just punishment
+for choosing so absurdly. Albina, I must know you better."
+
+The party went on, much as parties generally do where there are four or
+five guests that are supposed to rank all the others. The patricians
+evidently despised the plebeians, and the plebeians were offended at
+being despised; for in no American assemblage is any real inferiority of
+rank ever felt or acknowledged. There was a general dullness, and a
+general restraint. Little was done, and little was said. La Fayette
+wandered about in everybody's way; having been kept wide awake all the
+evening by two cups of strong coffee, which his mother allowed him to
+take because he would have them.
+
+There was always a group round the centre-table, listlessly turning
+over the souvenirs, albums, &c., and picking at the flowers; and La
+Fayette ate plum-cake over Cheston's beautiful drawings.
+
+Albina played an Italian song extremely well, but the Montagues
+exchanged glances at her music; and Mrs. Potts, to follow suit, hid her
+face behind her fan and simpered; though in truth she did not in reality
+know Italian from French, or a semibreve from a semiquaver. All this was
+a great annoyance to Cheston. At Albina's request, he led Miss Montague
+to the piano. She ran her fingers over the instrument as if to try it;
+gave a shudder, and declared it most shockingly out of tune, and then
+rose in horror from the music stool. This much surprised Mrs. Marsden,
+as a musician had been brought from the city only the day before for the
+express purpose of tuning this very instrument.
+
+"No," whispered Miss Montague, as she resumed her seat beside her
+mother, "I will not condescend to play before people who are incapable
+of understanding my style."
+
+At this juncture (to the great consternation of Mrs. Marsden and her
+daughter) who should make her appearance but Aunt Quimby in the calico
+gown which Albina now regretted having persuaded her to keep on. The old
+lady was wrapped in a small shawl and two large ones, and her head was
+secured from cold by a black silk handkerchief tied over her cap and
+under her chin. She smiled and nodded all round to the company, and
+said--"How do you do, good people; I hope you are all enjoying
+yourselves. I thought I _must_ come down and have a peep at you. For
+after I had seen all the ladies take off their hoods, and had my tea, I
+found it pretty dull work sitting up stairs with the mantua-maker, who
+had no more manners than to fall asleep while I was talking."
+
+Mrs. Marsden, much discomfited, led Aunt Quimby to a chair between two
+matrons who were among "the unavoidably invited," and whose pretensions
+to refinement were not very palpable. But the old lady had no idea of
+remaining stationary all the evening between Mrs. Johnson and Mrs.
+Jackson. She wisely thought "she could see more of the party," if she
+frequently changed her place, and being of what is called a sociable
+disposition, she never hesitated to talk to any one that was near her,
+however high or however low.
+
+"Dear mother," said Albina in an under-voice, "what can be the reason
+that every one, in tasting the ice-cream, immediately sets it aside as
+if it was not fit to eat? I am sure there is everything in it that ought
+to be."
+
+"And something more than ought to be," replied Mrs. Marsden, after
+trying a spoonful--"the salt that was laid round the freezer has got
+into the cream (I suppose by Dixon's carelessness), and it is _not_ fit
+to eat."
+
+"And now," said Albina, starting, "I will show you a far worse
+mortification than the failure of the ice-cream. Only look--there sits
+Aunt Quimby between Mr. Montague and Mrs. Washington Potts."
+
+"How in the world did she get there?" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden. "I dare
+say she walked up, and asked them to make room for her between them.
+There is nothing now to be done but to pass her off as well as we can,
+and to make the best of her. I will manage to get as near as possible,
+that I may hear what she is talking about, and take an opportunity of
+persuading her away."
+
+As Mrs. Marsden approached within hearing distance, Mr. Montague was
+leaning across Aunt Quimby, and giving Mrs. Potts an account of
+something that had been said or done during a splendid entertainment at
+Devonshire House.--"Just at that moment," said he, "I was lounging into
+the room with Lady Augusta Fitzhenry on my arm (unquestionably the
+finest woman in England), and Mrs. Montague was a few steps in advance,
+leaning on my friend the Marquis of Elvington."
+
+"Pray, sir," said Mrs. Quimby, "as you are from England, do you know
+anything of Betsey Dempsey's husband?"
+
+"I have not the honour of being acquainted with that person," replied
+Mr. Montague, after a withering stare.
+
+"Well, that's strange," pursued Aunt Quimby, "considering that he has
+been living in London at least eighteen years--or perhaps it is only
+seventeen. And yet I think it must be near eighteen, if not quite. Maybe
+seventeen and a half. Well it's best to be on the safe side, so I'll say
+seventeen. Betsey Dempsey's mother was an old school-mate of mine. Her
+father kept the Black Horse tavern. She was the only acquaintance I ever
+had that married an Englishman. He was a grocer, and in very good
+business; but he never liked America, and was always finding fault with
+it, and so he went home, and was to send for Betsey. But he never sent
+for her at all; and for a very good reason; which was that he had
+another wife in England, as most of them have--no disparagement to you,
+sir."
+
+Mrs. Marsden now came up, and informed Mrs. Potts in a whisper, that the
+good old lady beside her, was a distant relation or rather connexion of
+_Mr._ Marsden's, and that, though a little primitive in appearance and
+manner, she had considerable property in bank-stock. To Mrs. Marsden's
+proposal that she should exchange her seat for a very pleasant one in
+the other room next to her old friend, Mrs. Willis, Aunt Quimby replied
+nothing but "Thank you, I'm doing very well here."
+
+Mrs. and Miss Montague, apparently heeding no one else, had talked
+nearly the whole evening to each other, but loudly enough to be heard by
+all around them. The young lady, though dressed as a child, talked like
+a woman, and she and her mother were now engaged in an argument whether
+the flirtation of the Duke of Risingham with Lady Georgiana Melbury
+would end seriously or not.
+
+"To my certain knowledge," said Miss Montague, "his Grace has never yet
+declared himself to Lady Georgiana, or to any one else."
+
+"I'll lay you two to one," said Mrs. Montague, "that he is married to
+her before we return to England."
+
+"No," replied the daughter, "like all others of his sex he delights in
+keeping the ladies in suspense."
+
+"What you say, miss, is very true," said Aunt Quimby, leaning in her
+turn across Mr. Montague, "and, considering how young you are, you talk
+very sensibly. Men certainly have a way of keeping women in suspense,
+and an unwillingness to answer questions, even when we ask them. There's
+my son-in-law, Billy Fairfowl, that I live with. He married my daughter
+Mary, eleven years ago the 23d of last April. He's as good a man as ever
+breathed, and an excellent provider too. He always goes to market
+himself; and sometimes I can't help blaming him a little for his
+extravagance. But his greatest fault is his being so unsatisfactory. As
+far back as last March, as I was sitting at my knitting in the little
+front parlour with the door open (for it was quite warm weather for the
+time of the year), Billy Fairfowl came home, carrying in his hand a good
+sized shad; and I called out to him to ask what he gave for it, for it
+was the very beginning of the shad season; but he made not a word of
+answer; he just passed on, and left the shad in the kitchen, and then
+went to his store. At dinner we had the fish, and a very nice one it
+was; and I asked him again how much he gave for it, but he still
+avoided answering, and began to talk of something else; so I thought I'd
+let it rest awhile. A week or two after, I again asked him; so then he
+actually said he had forgotten all about it. And to this day I don't
+know the price of that shad."
+
+The Montagues looked at each other--almost laughed aloud, and drew back
+their chairs as far from Aunt Quimby as possible. So also did Mrs.
+Potts. Mrs. Marsden came up in an agony of vexation, and reminded her
+aunt in a low voice of the risk of renewing her rheumatism by staying so
+long between the damp, newly-papered walls. The old lady answered
+aloud--"Oh! you need not fear, I am well wrapped up on purpose. And
+indeed, considering that the parlours were only papered to-day, I think
+the walls have dried wonderfully (putting her hand on the paper)--I am
+sure nobody could find out the damp if they were not told."
+
+"What!" exclaimed the Montagues; "only papered to-day--(starting up and
+testifying all that prudent fear of taking cold, so characteristic of
+the English). How barbarous to inveigle us into such a place!"
+
+"I thought I felt strangely chilly all the evening," said Mrs. Potts,
+whose fan had scarcely been at rest five minutes.
+
+The Montagues proposed going away immediately, and Mrs. Potts declared
+she was _most_ apprehensive for poor little La Fayette. Mrs. Marsden,
+who could not endure the idea of their departing till all the
+refreshments had been handed round (the best being yet to come), took
+great pains to persuade them that there was no real cause of alarm, as
+she had had large fires all the afternoon. They held a whispered
+consultation, in which they agreed to stay for the oysters and chicken
+salad, and Mrs. Marsden went out to send them their shawls, with one for
+La Fayette.
+
+By this time the secret of the newly-papered walls had spread round both
+rooms; the conversation now turned entirely on colds and rheumatisms;
+there was much shivering and considerable coughing, and the demand for
+shawls increased. However, nobody actually went home in consequence.
+
+"Papa," said Miss Montague, "let us all take French leave as soon as the
+oysters and chicken salad have gone round."
+
+Albina now came up to Aunt Quimby (gladly perceiving that the old lady
+looked tired), and proposed that she should return to her chamber,
+assuring her that the waiters should be punctually sent up to her--"I do
+not feel quite ready to go yet," replied Mrs. Quimby. "I am very well
+here. But you need not mind _me_. Go back to your company, and talk a
+little to those three poor girls in the yellow frocks that nobody has
+spoken to yet, except Bromley Cheston. When I am ready to go I shall
+take French leave, as these English people call it."
+
+But Aunt Quimby's idea of French leave was very different from the usual
+acceptation of the term; for having always heard that the French were a
+very polite people, she concluded that their manner of taking leave must
+be particularly respectful and ceremonious. Therefore, having paid her
+parting compliments to Mrs. Potts and the Montagues, she walked all
+round the room, curtsying to every body and shaking hands, and telling
+them she had come to take French leave. To put an end to this ridiculous
+scene, Bromley Cheston (who had been on assiduous duty all the evening)
+now came forward, and, taking the old lady's arm in his, offered to
+escort her up stairs. Aunt Quimby was much flattered by this unexpected
+civility from the finest-looking young man in the room, and she
+smilingly departed with him, complimenting him on his politeness, and
+assuring him that he was a real gentleman; trying also to make out the
+degree of relationship that existed between them.
+
+"So much for Buckingham!" said Cheston, as he ran down stairs after
+depositing the old lady at the door of her room. "Fools of all ranks and
+of all ages are to me equally intolerable. I never can marry into such a
+family."
+
+The party went on.
+
+"In the name of heaven, Mrs. Potts," said Mrs. Montague, "what induces
+you to patronize these people?"
+
+"Why they are the only tolerable persons in the neighbourhood," answered
+Mrs. Potts, "and very kind and obliging in their way. I really think
+Albina a very sweet girl, very sweet indeed: and Mrs. Marsden is rather
+amiable too, quite amiable. And they are so grateful for any little
+notice I take of them, that it is really quite affecting. Poor things!
+how much trouble they have given themselves in getting up this party.
+They look as if they had had a hard day's work; and I have no doubt they
+will be obliged, in consequence, to pinch them for months to come; for I
+can assure you their means are very small--very small indeed. As to this
+intolerable old aunt, I never saw her before; and as there is something
+rather genteel about Mrs. Marsden and her daughter--rather so at least
+about Albina--I did not suppose they had any such relations belonging to
+them. I think, in future I must confine myself entirely to the
+aristocracy."
+
+"We deliberated to the last moment," said Mrs. Montague, "whether we
+should come. But as Mr. Montague is going to write his tour when we
+return to England, he thinks it expedient to make some sacrifices, for
+the sake of seeing the varieties of American society."
+
+"Oh! these people are not in society!" exclaimed Mrs. Potts eagerly. "I
+can assure you these Marsdens have not the slightest pretensions to
+society. Oh! no--I beg you not to suppose that Mrs. Marsden and her
+daughter are at all in society!"
+
+This conversation was overheard by Bromley Cheston, and it gave him more
+pain than he was willing to acknowledge, even to himself.
+
+At length all the refreshments had gone their rounds, and the Montagues
+had taken real French leave; but Mrs. Washington Potts preferred a
+conspicuous departure, and therefore made her adieux with a view of
+producing great effect. This was the signal for the company to break up,
+and Mrs. Marsden gladly smiled them out; while Albina could have said
+with Gray's Prophetess--
+
+    "Now my weary lips I close,
+    Leave me, leave me to repose."
+
+But, according to Mrs. Marsden, the worst of all was the poet, the
+professedly eccentric Bewley Garvin Gandy, author of the World of
+Sorrow, Elegy on a Broken Heart, Lines on a Suppressed Sigh, Sonnet to a
+Hidden Tear, Stanzas to Faded Hopes, &c. &c., and who was just now
+engaged in a tale called "The Bewildered," and an Ode to the Waning
+Moon, which set him to wandering about the country, and "kept him out
+o'nights." The poet, not being a man of this world, did not make his
+appearance at the party till the moment of the bustle occasioned by the
+exit of Mrs. Washington Potts. He then darted suddenly into the room,
+and looked wild.
+
+We will not insinuate that he bore any resemblance to Sandy Clark. He
+certainly wore no chapeau, and his coat was not in the least à la
+militaire, for it was a dusky brown frock. His collar was open, in the
+fashion attributed to Byron, and much affected by scribblers who are
+incapable of imitating the noble bard in anything but his follies. His
+hair looked as if he had just been tearing it, and his eyes seemed "in
+a fine frenzy rolling." He was on his return from one of his moonlight
+rambles on the banks of the river, and his pantaloons and coat-skirt
+showed evident marks of having been deep among the cat-tails and
+splatter-docks that grew in the mud on its margin.
+
+Being a man that took no note of time, he wandered into Mrs. Marsden's
+house between eleven and twelve o'clock, and remained an hour after the
+company had gone; reclining at full length on a sofa, and discussing
+Barry Cornwall and Percy Bysshe Shelley, L. E. L. and Mrs. Cornwall
+Baron Wilson. After which he gradually became classical, and poured into
+the sleepy ears of Mrs. Marsden and Albina a parallel between Tibullus
+and Propertius, a dissertation on Alcæus, and another on Menander.
+
+Bromley Cheston, who had been escorting home two sets of young ladies
+that lived "far as the poles asunder," passed Mrs. Marsden's house on
+returning to his hotel, and seeing the lights still gleaming, he went in
+to see what was the matter, and kindly relieved his aunt and cousin by
+reminding the poet of the lateness of the hour, and "fairly carrying him
+off."
+
+Aunt Quimby had long since been asleep. But before Mrs. Marsden and
+Albina could forget themselves in "tired nature's sweet restorer," they
+lay awake for an hour, discussing the fatigues and vexations of the day,
+and the mortifications of the evening. "After all," said Albina, "this
+party has cost us five times as much as it is worth, both in trouble and
+expense, and I really cannot tell what pleasure we have derived from
+it."
+
+"No one expects pleasure at their own party," replied Mrs. Marsden. "But
+you may depend on it, this little compliment to Mrs. Washington Potts
+will prove highly advantageous to us hereafter. And then it is
+_something_ to be the only family in the neighbourhood that could
+presume to do such a thing."
+
+Next morning, Bromley Cheston received a letter which required his
+immediate presence in New York on business of importance. When he went
+to take leave of his aunt and cousin, he found them busily engaged in
+clearing away and putting in order; a task which is nearly equal to that
+of making the preparations for a party. They looked pale and
+spiritless, and Mrs. Washington Potts had just sent her three boys to
+spend the day with them.
+
+When Cheston took Albina's hand at parting, he felt it tremble, and her
+eyes looked as if they were filling with tears. "After all," thought he,
+"she is a charming girl, and has both sense and sensibility."
+
+"I am very nervous to-day," said Albina, "the party has been too much
+for me; and I have in prospect for to-morrow the pain of taking leave of
+Mrs. Washington Potts, who returns with all her family to Philadelphia."
+
+"Strange infatuation!" thought Cheston, as he dropped Albina's hand, and
+made his parting bow. "I must see more of this girl, before I can
+resolve to trust my happiness to her keeping; I cannot share her heart
+with Mrs. Washington Potts. When I return from New York, I will talk to
+her seriously about that ridiculous woman, and I will also remonstrate
+with her mother on the folly of straining every nerve in the pursuit of
+what she calls a certain style."
+
+In the afternoon, Mrs. Potts did Albina the honour to send for her to
+assist in the preparations for to-morrow's removal to town; and in the
+evening, the three boys were all taken home sick, in consequence of
+having laid violent hands on the fragments of the feast: which fragments
+they had continued during the day to devour almost without intermission.
+Also Randolph had thrown Jefferson down stairs, and raised two green
+bumps on his forehead, and Jefferson had pinched La Fayette's fingers in
+the door till the blood came; not to mention various minor squabbles and
+hurts.
+
+At parting, Mrs. Potts went so far as to kiss Albina, and made her
+promise to let her know immediately, whenever she or her mother came to
+the city.
+
+In about two weeks, Aunt Quimby finished her visitation: and the day
+after her departure, Mrs. Marsden and Albina went to town to make their
+purchases for the season, and also with a view towards a party, which
+they knew Mrs. Potts had in contemplation. This time they did not, as
+usual, stay with their relations, but they took lodgings at a
+fashionable boarding-house, where they could receive their "great
+woman," _comme il faut_.
+
+On the morning after their arrival, Mrs. Marsden and her daughter, in
+their most costly dresses, went to visit Mrs. Potts, that she might be
+apprised of their arrival; and they found her in a spacious house,
+expensively and ostentatiously furnished.
+
+After they had waited till even _their_ patience was nearly exhausted,
+Mrs. Potts came down stairs to them, but there was evidently a great
+abatement in her affability. She seemed uneasy, looked frequently
+towards the door, got up several times and went to the window, and
+appeared fidgety when the bell rung. At last there came in two very
+flaunting ladies, whom Mrs. Potts received as if she considered them
+people of consequence. They were not introduced to the Marsdens, who,
+after the entrance of these new visitors, sat awhile in the pitiable
+situation of ciphers, and then took their leave. "Strange," said Mrs.
+Marsden, "that she did not say a word of her party."
+
+Three days after their visit, Mrs. Washington Potts left cards for Mrs.
+and Miss Marsden, without inquiring if they were at home. And they heard
+from report that her party was fixed for the week after next, and that
+it was expected to be very splendid, as it was to introduce her
+daughter, who had just quitted boarding-school. The Marsdens had seen
+this young lady, who had spent the August holidays with her parents. She
+was as silly as her mother, and as dull as her father, in the eyes of
+all who were not blindly determined to think her otherwise, or who did
+not consider it particularly expedient to uphold every one of the name
+of Potts.
+
+At length they heard that the invitations were going out for Mrs.
+Potts's party, and that though very large, it was not to be general;
+which meant that only one or two of the members were to be selected from
+each family with whom Mrs. Potts thought proper to acknowledge an
+acquaintance. From this moment Mrs. Marsden, who at the best of times
+had never really been treated with much respect by Mrs. Potts, gave up
+all hope of an invitation for herself; but she counted certainly on one
+for Albina, and every ring at the door was expected to bring it. There
+were many rings, but no invitation; and poor Albina and her mother took
+turns in watching at the window.
+
+At last Bogle[3] was seen to come up the steps with a handful of notes;
+and Albina, regardless of all rule, ran to the front-door herself. They
+were cards for a party, but not Mrs. Potts's, and were intended for two
+other ladies that lodged in the house.
+
+[Footnote 3: A celebrated coloured waiter in Philadelphia.]
+
+Every time that Albina went out and came home, she inquired anxiously
+of all the servants if no note had been left for her. Still there was
+none. And her mother still insisted that the note _must_ have come, but
+had been mislaid afterwards, or that Bogle had lost it in the street.
+
+Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday passed over, and still no
+invitation. Mrs. Marsden talked much of the carelessness of servants,
+and had no doubt of the habitual negligence of Messrs. Bogle, Shepherd,
+and other "fashionable party-men." Albina was almost sick with "hope
+deferred." At last, when she came home on Monday morning from Second
+street, her mother met her at the door with a delighted face, and showed
+her the long-desired note, which had just been brought by Mrs. Potts's
+own man. The party was to take place in two days: and so great was now
+Albina's happiness, that she scarcely felt the fatigue of searching the
+shops for articles of attire that were very elegant, and yet not _too_
+expensive; and shopping with a limited purse is certainly no trifling
+exercise both of mind and body; so also is the task of going round among
+fashionable mantua-makers, in the hope of coaxing one of them to
+undertake a dress at a short notice.
+
+Next morning, Mrs. Potts sent for Albina immediately after breakfast,
+and told her that as she knew her to be very clever at all sorts of
+things, she wanted her to stay that day and assist in the preparations
+for the next. Mrs. Potts, like many other people who live in showy
+houses and dress extravagantly, was very economical in servants. She
+gave such low wages, that none would come to her who could get places
+anywhere else, and she kept them on such limited allowance that none
+would stay with her who were worth having.
+
+Fools are seldom consistent in their expenditure. They generally (to use
+a homely expression) strain at gnats and swallow camels.
+
+About noon, Albina having occasion to consult Mrs. Potts concerning
+something that was to be done, found her in the front parlour with Mrs.
+and Miss Montague. After Albina had left the room, Mrs. Montague said to
+Mrs. Potts--"Is not that the girl who lives with her mother at the place
+on the river, I forget what you call it--I mean the niece of the aunt?"
+
+"That is Albina Marsden," replied Mrs. Potts.
+
+"Yes," pursued Mrs. Montague, "the people that made so great an exertion
+to give you a sort of party, and honoured Mr. and Miss Montague and
+myself with invitations."
+
+"She's not to be here to-morrow night, I hope!" exclaimed Miss Montague.
+
+"Really," replied Mrs. Potts, "I could do no less than ask her. The poor
+thing did her very best to be civil to us all last summer."
+
+"Oh!" said Mrs. Montague, "in the country one is willing sometimes to
+take up with such company as we should be very sorry to acknowledge in
+town. You assured me that your party to-morrow night would be extremely
+_recherché_. And as it is so early in the season you know that it is
+necessary to be more particular now than at the close of the campaign,
+when every one is tired of parties, and unwilling to get new evening
+dresses lest they should be out of fashion before they are wanted again.
+Excuse me, I speak only from what I have heard of American customs."
+
+"I am always particular about my parties," said Mrs. Potts.
+
+"A word in your ear," continued Mrs. Montague. "Is it not impolitic, or
+rather are you not afraid to bring forward so beautiful a girl as this
+Miss Martin on the very night of your own daughter's _debut_?"
+
+Mrs. Potts looked alarmed for a moment, and then recovering herself
+said--"I have no fear of Miss Harriet Angelina Potts being thrown in the
+shade by a little country girl like this. Albina Marsden is pretty
+enough, to be sure--at least, rather pretty--but then there is a certain
+style--a certain air which she of course--in short, a certain style--"
+
+"As to what you call a certain style," said Mrs. Montague, "I do not
+know exactly what you mean. If it signifies the air and manner of a
+lady, this Miss Martin has as much of it as any other American girl. To
+me they are all nearly alike. I cannot distinguish those minute shades
+of difference that you all make such a point of. In my unpractised eyes
+the daughters of your mechanics and shopkeepers look as well and behave
+as well as the daughters of your lawyers and doctors, for I find your
+nobility is chiefly made up of these two professions, with the addition
+of a few merchants; and you call every one a merchant that does not sell
+his commodities by the single yard or the single quart."
+
+"Mamma," whispered Miss Montague, "if that girl is to be here, I don't
+wish to come. I can't endure her."
+
+"Take my advice," continued Mrs. Montague to Mrs. Potts, "and put off
+this Miss Martin. If she was not so strikingly handsome, she might pass
+unnoticed in the crowd. But her beauty will attract general
+observation, and you will be obliged to tell exactly who she is, where
+you picked her up, and to give or to hear an account of her family and
+all her connexions; and from the specimen we have had in the old aunt, I
+doubt if they will bear a very minute scrutiny. So if she _is_ invited,
+endeavour to uninvite her."
+
+"I am sure I would willingly do that," replied Mrs. Potts, "but I can
+really think of no excuse."
+
+"Oh! send her a note to-morrow," answered Mrs. Montague, carelessly, and
+rising to depart, "anything or nothing, so that you only signify to her
+that she is not to come."
+
+All day Mrs. Potts was revolving in her mind the most feasible means of
+preventing Albina from appearing at her party; and her conscience smote
+her when she saw the unsuspecting girl so indefatigable in assisting
+with the preparations. Before Albina went home, Mrs. Potts had come to
+the conclusion to follow Mrs. Montague's advice, but she shrunk from the
+task of telling her so in person. She determined to send her next
+morning a concise note, politely requesting her not to come; and she
+intended afterwards to call on her and apologize, on the plea of her
+party being by no means general, but still so large that every inch of
+room was an object of importance; also that the selection consisted
+entirely of persons well known to each other and accustomed to meet in
+company, and that there was every reason to fear that her gentle and
+modest friend Albina would have been unable to enjoy herself among so
+many strangers, &c., &c. Those excuses, she knew, were very flimsy, but
+she trusted to Albina's good nature, and she thought she could smooth
+off all by inviting both her and her mother to a sociable tea.
+
+Next morning, Mrs. Potts, who was on no occasion very ready with her
+pen, considering that she professed to be _au fait_ to everything,
+employed near an hour in manufacturing the following note to Albina.
+
+"Mrs. Washington Potts' compliments to Miss Marsden, and she regrets
+being under the necessity of dispensing with Miss M.'s company, to join
+the social circle at her mansion-house this evening. Mrs. W. P. will
+explain hereafter, hoping Mrs. and Miss M. are both well. Mr. W. P.
+requests his respects to both ladies, as well as Miss Potts, and their
+favourite little La Fayette desires his best love."
+
+This billet arrived while Albina had gone to her mantua-maker, to have
+her new dress fitted on for the last time. Her mother opened the note
+and read it; a liberty which no parent should take with the
+correspondence of a grown-up daughter. Mrs. Marsden was shocked at its
+contents, and at a loss to guess the motive of so strange an
+interdiction. At first her only emotion was resentment against Mrs.
+Potts. Then she thought of the disappointment and mortification of poor
+Albina, whom she pictured to herself passing a forlorn evening at home,
+perhaps crying in her own room. Next, she recollected the elegant new
+dress in which Albina would have looked so beautifully, and which would
+now be useless.
+
+"Oh!" soliloquized Mrs. Marsden, "what a pity this unaccountable note
+was not dropped and lost in the street. But then, of course some one
+would have found and read it, and that would have been worse than all.
+How could Mrs. Potts be guilty of such abominable rudeness, as to desire
+poor Albina not to come, after she had been invited? But great people
+think they may do anything. I wish the note had fallen into the fire
+before it came to my hands; then Albina would have known nothing of it;
+she would have gone to the party, looking more charmingly than ever she
+did in her life; and she would be seen there, and admired, and make new
+acquaintances, and Mrs. Potts could do no otherwise than behave to her
+politely in her own house. Nobody would know of this vile billet (which
+perhaps after all is only a joke), and Mrs. Potts would suppose, that of
+course Albina had not received it; besides, I have no doubt that Mrs.
+Potts will send for her to-morrow, and make a satisfactory explanation.
+But then, to-night; if Albina could but get there to-night. What harm
+can possible arrive from my not showing her the note till to-morrow? Why
+should the dear girl be deprived of all the pleasure she anticipated
+this evening? And even if she expected no enjoyment whatever, still how
+great will be the advantage of having her seen at Mrs. Washington
+Potts's select party; it will at once get her on in the world. Of course
+Mrs. Potts will conclude that the note had miscarried, and will treat
+her as if it had never been sent. I am really most strongly tempted to
+suppress it, and let Albina go."
+
+The more Mrs. Marsden thought of this project, the less objectionable it
+appeared to her. When she saw Albina come home, delighted with her new
+dress, which fitted her exactly, and when she heard her impatiently
+wishing that evening was come, this weak and ill-judging mother could
+not resolve (as she afterwards said) to dash all her pleasant
+anticipations to the ground, and demolish her castles in the air. "My
+daughter shall be happy to-night," thought she, "whatever may be the
+event of to-morrow." She hastily concealed the note, and kept her
+resolution of not mentioning it to Albina.
+
+Evening came, and Albina's beautiful hair was arranged and decorated by
+a fashionable French barber. She was dressed, and she looked charmingly.
+
+Albina knew that Mrs. Potts had sent an invitation to the United States
+Hotel for Lieutenant Cheston, who was daily expected, but had not yet
+returned from New York, and she regretted much that she could not go to
+the party under his escort. She knew no one else of the company, and she
+had no alternative but to send for a carriage, and proceeded thither by
+herself, after her mother had despatched repeated messages to the hotel
+to know if Mr. Cheston had yet arrived, for he was certainly expected
+back that evening.
+
+As Albina drove to the house, she felt all the terrors of diffidence
+coming upon her, and already repented that she had ventured on this
+enterprise alone. On arriving, she did not go into the ladies' room, but
+gave her hood and cloak at once to a servant, and tremulously requested
+another attendant to inform Mr. Potts that a lady wished to see him. Mr.
+Potts accordingly came out into the hall, and looked surprised at
+finding Albina there, for he had heard his wife and daughter talking of
+the note of interdiction. But concluding, as he often did, that it was
+in vain for him to try to comprehend the proceedings of women, he
+thought it best to say nothing.
+
+On Albina requesting him to accompany her on her entrance, he gave her
+his arm in silence, and with a very perplexed face escorted her into the
+principal room. As he led her up to his wife, his countenance gradually
+changed from perplexity to something like fright. Albina paid her
+compliments to Mrs. Potts, who received her with evident amazement, and
+without replying. Mrs. Montague, who sat next to the lady of the
+mansion, opened still wider her immense eyes, and then, "to make
+assurance doubly sure," applied her opera-glass. Miss Montague first
+stared and then laughed.
+
+Albina, much disconcerted, turned to look for a seat, Mr. Potts having
+withdrawn his arm. As she retired to the only vacant chair, she heard a
+half whisper running along the line of ladies, and though she could not
+distinguish the words so as to make any connected sense of them, she
+felt that they alluded to her.
+
+"Can I believe my eyes?" said Mrs. Potts.
+
+"The assurance of American girls is astonishing," said Mrs. Montague.
+
+"She was forbidden to come," said Miss Montague to a young lady beside
+her. "Mrs. Potts herself forbade her to come."
+
+"She was actually prohibited," resumed Mrs. Montague, leaning over to
+Mrs. Jones.
+
+"I sent her myself a note of prohibition," said Mrs. Potts, leaning over
+to Mrs. Smith. "I had serious objections to having her here."
+
+"I never saw such downright impudence," pursued Mrs. Montague. "This I
+suppose is one of the consequences of the liberty, and freedom and
+independence that you Americans are always talking about. I must tell
+Mr. Montague, for really this is too good to lose."
+
+And beckoning her husband to come to her--"My dear," said she, "put down
+in your memorandum-book, that when American married ladies invite young
+ladies to parties, they on second thoughts forbid them to come, and that
+the said American young ladies boldly persist in coming in spite of the
+forbiddance."
+
+And she then related to him the whole affair, at full length, and with
+numerous embellishments, looking all the time at poor Albina.
+
+The story was soon circulated round the room in whispers and murmurs,
+and no one had candour or kindness to suggest the possibility of Miss
+Marsden's having never received the note.
+
+Albina soon perceived herself to be an object of remark and
+animadversion, and she was sadly at a loss to divine the cause. The two
+ladies that were nearest to her, rose up and left their seats, while two
+others edged their chairs farther off. She knew no one, she was
+introduced to no one, but she saw that every one was looking at her as
+she sat by herself, alone, conspicuous, and abashed. Tea was waiting for
+a lady that came always last, and the whole company seemed to have
+leisure to gaze on poor Albina, and to whisper about her.
+
+Her situation now became intolerable. She felt that there was nothing
+left for her but to go home. Unluckily she had ordered the carriage at
+eleven o'clock. At last she resolved on making a great effort, and on
+plea of a violent headache (a plea which by this time was literally
+true) to ask Mrs. Potts if she would allow a servant to bring a coach
+for her.
+
+After several attempts, she rose for this purpose; but she saw at the
+same moment that all eyes were turned upon her. She tremblingly, and
+with downcast looks, advanced till she got into the middle of the room,
+and then all her courage deserted her at once, when she heard some one
+say, "I wonder what she is going to do next."
+
+She stopped suddenly, and stood motionless, and she saw Miss Potts
+giggle, and heard her say to a school-girl near her, "I suppose she is
+going to speak a speech." She turned very pale, and felt as if she could
+gladly sink into the floor, when suddenly some one took her hand, and
+the voice of Bromley Cheston said to her, "Albina--Miss Marsden--I will
+conduct you wherever you wish to go"--and then, lowering his tone, he
+asked her, "Why this agitation--what has happened to distress you?"
+
+Cheston had just arrived from New York, having been detained on the way
+by an accident that happened to one of the boats, and finding that Mrs.
+Marsden was in town, and had that day sent several messages for him, he
+repaired immediately to her lodgings. He had intended declining the
+invitation of Mrs. Potts, but when he found that Albina had gone
+thither, he hastily changed his dress and went to the party. When he
+entered, what was his amazement to see her standing alone in the centre
+of the room, and the company whispering and gazing at her.
+
+Albina, on hearing the voice of a friend, the voice of Bromley Cheston,
+was completely overcome, and she covered her face and burst into tears.
+"Albina," said Cheston, "I will not now ask an explanation; I see that,
+whatever may have happened, you had best go home."
+
+"Oh! most gladly, most thankfully," she exclaimed, in a voice almost
+inarticulate with sobs.
+
+Cheston drew her arm within his, and bowing to Mrs. Potts, he led Albina
+out of the apartment, and conducted her to the staircase, whence she
+went to the ladies' room to compose herself a little, and prepare for
+her departure.
+
+Cheston then sent one servant for a carriage, and another to tell Mr.
+Potts that he desired to speak with him in the hall. Potts came out with
+a pale, frightened face, and said--"Indeed, sir--indeed, I had nothing
+to do with it; ask the women. It was all them entirely. It was the
+women that laughed at Miss Albina, and whispered about her."
+
+"For what?" demanded the lieutenant. "I insist on knowing for what
+cause."
+
+"Why, sir," replied Potts, "she came here to my wife's party, after Mrs.
+Potts had sent a note desiring her to stay away; which was certainly an
+odd thing for a young lady to do."
+
+"There is some mistake," exclaimed Cheston; "I'll stake my life that she
+never saw the note. And now, for what reason did Mrs. Potts write such a
+note? How did she dare--"
+
+"Oh!" replied Potts, stammering and hesitating, "women will have their
+notions; men are not half so particular about their company. Somehow,
+after Mrs. Potts had invited Miss Albina, she thought, on farther
+consideration, that poor Miss Albina was not quite genteel enough for
+her party. You know all the women now make a great point of being
+genteel. But, indeed, sir (observing the storm that was gathering on
+Cheston's brow), indeed, sir--_I_ was not in the least to blame. It was
+altogether the fault of my wife."
+
+The indignation of the lieutenant was so highly excited, that nothing
+could have checked it but the recollection that Potts was in his own
+house. At this moment, Albina came down stairs, and Cheston took her
+hand and said to her: "Albina, did you receive a note from Mrs. Potts
+interdicting your presence at the party?"--"Oh! no, indeed!" exclaimed
+Albina, amazed at the question. "Surely she did not send me such a
+note."--"Yes she did, though," said Potts, quickly.--"Is it, then,
+necessary for me to say," said Albina, indignantly, "that, under those
+circumstances, nothing could have induced me to enter this house, now or
+ever! I saw or heard nothing of this note. And is this the reason that I
+have been treated so rudely--so cruelly--"
+
+Upon this, Mr. Potts made his escape, and Cheston, having put Albina
+into the carriage, desired the coachman to wait a few moments. He then
+returned to the drawing-room and approached Mrs. Potts, who was standing
+with half the company collected round her, and explaining with great
+volubility the whole history of Albina Marsden. On the appearance of
+Cheston, she stopped short, and all her auditors looked foolish.
+
+The young officer advanced into the centre of the circle, and, first
+addressing Mrs. Potts, he said to her--"In justice to Miss Marsden, I
+have returned, madam, to inform you that your note of interdiction, with
+which you have so kindly made all the company acquainted, was till this
+moment unknown to that young lady. But, even had she come wilfully, and
+in the full knowledge of your prohibition, no circumstances whatever
+could justify the rudeness with which I find she has been treated. I
+have now only to say that, if any gentleman presumes, either here or
+hereafter, to cast a reflection on the conduct of Miss Albina Marsden,
+in this or in any other instance, he must answer to me for the
+consequences. And if I find that any lady has invidiously misrepresented
+this occurrence, I shall insist on an atonement from her husband, her
+brother, or her admirer."
+
+He then bowed and departed, and the company looked still more foolish.
+
+"This lesson," thought Cheston, "will have the salutary effect of curing
+Albina of her predominant follies. She is a lovely girl, after all, and
+when withdrawn from the influence of her mother, will make a charming
+woman and an excellent wife."
+
+Before the carriage stopped at the residence of Mrs. Marsden, Cheston
+had made Albina an offer of his heart and hand, and the offer was not
+refused.
+
+Mrs. Marsden was scarcely surprised at the earliness of Albina's return
+from the party, for she had a secret misgiving that all was not right,
+that the suppression of the note would not eventuate well, and she
+bitterly regretted having done it. When her daughter related to her the
+story of the evening, Mrs. Marsden was overwhelmed with compunction;
+and, though Cheston was present, she could not refrain from
+acknowledging at once her culpability, for it certainly deserved no
+softer name. Cheston and Albina were shocked at this disclosure; but, in
+compassion to Mrs. Marsden, they forbore to add to her distress by a
+single comment. Cheston shortly after took his leave, saying to Albina
+as he departed, "I hope you are done for ever with Mrs. Washington
+Potts."
+
+Next morning, Cheston seriously but kindly expostulated with Albina and
+her mother on the folly and absurdity of sacrificing their comfort,
+their time, their money, and, indeed, their self-respect, to the paltry
+distinction of being capriciously noticed by a few vain, silly,
+heartless people, inferior to themselves in everything but in wealth and
+in a slight tincture of soi-disant fashion; and who, after all, only
+took them on or threw them off as it suited their own convenience.
+
+"What you say is very true, Bromley," replied Mrs. Marsden. "I begin to
+view these things in their proper light, and as Albina remarks, we ought
+to profit by this last lesson. To tell the exact truth, I have heard
+since I came to town that Mrs. Washington Potts is, after all, by no
+means in the first circle, and it is whispered that she and her husband
+are both of very low origin."
+
+"No matter for her circle or her origin," said Cheston, "in our country
+the only acknowledged distinction should be that which is denoted by
+superiority of mind and manners."
+
+Next day Lieutenant Cheston escorted Mrs. Marsden and Albina back to
+their own home--and a week afterwards he was sent unexpectedly on a
+cruise in the West Indies.
+
+He returned in the spring, and found Mrs. Marsden more rational than he
+had ever known her, and Albina highly improved by a judicious course of
+reading which he had marked out for her, and still more by her intimacy
+with a truly genteel, highly talented, and very amiable family from the
+eastward, who had recently bought a house in the village, and in whose
+society she often wondered at the infatuation which had led her to fancy
+such a woman as Mrs. Washington Potts, with whom, of course, she never
+had any farther communication.
+
+A recent and very large bequest to Bromley Cheston from a distant
+relation, made it no longer necessary that the young lieutenant should
+wait for promotion before he married Albina; and accordingly their union
+took place immediately on his return.
+
+Before the Montagues left Philadelphia to prosecute their journey to the
+south, there arrived an acquaintance of theirs from England, who
+injudiciously "told the secrets of his prison-house," and made known in
+whispers "not loud but deep," that Mr. Dudley Montague, of Normancourt
+Park, Hants, (alias Mr. John Wilkins, of Lamb's Conduit Street,
+Clerkenwell), had long been well-known in London as a reporter for a
+newspaper; that he had recently married a widow, the ci-devant governess
+of a Somers Town Boarding-school, who had drawn her ideas of fashionable
+life from the columns of the Morning Post, and who famished her pupils
+so much to her own profit that she had been able to retire on a sort of
+fortune. With the assistance of this fund, she and her daughter (the
+young lady was in reality the offspring of her mother's first marriage)
+had accompanied Mr. Wilkins across the Atlantic: all three assuming the
+lordly name of Montague, as one well calculated to strike the
+republicans with proper awe. The truth was, that for a suitable
+consideration proffered by a tory publisher, the _soi-disant_ Mr.
+Montague had undertaken to add another octavo to the numerous volumes of
+gross misrepresentation and real ignorance that profess to contain an
+impartial account of the United States of America.
+
+
+
+
+MR. SMITH.
+
+
+Those of my readers who recollect the story of Mrs. Washington Potts,
+may not be sorry to learn that in less than two years after the marriage
+of Bromley Cheston and Albina, Mrs. Marsden was united to a southern
+planter of great wealth and respectability, with whom she had become
+acquainted during a summer excursion to Newport. Mrs. Selbourne (that
+being her new name) was now, as her letters denoted, completely in her
+element, presiding over a large establishment, mistress of twelve
+house-servants, and almost continually engaged in doing the honours of a
+spacious mansion to a round of company, or in complying with similar
+invitations from the leading people of a populous neighbourhood, or in
+reciprocating visits with the most fashionable inhabitants of the
+nearest city. Her only regret was that Mrs. Washington Potts could not
+"be there to see." But then as a set-off, Mrs. Selbourne rejoiced in the
+happy reflection, that a distance of several hundred miles placed a
+great gulf between herself and Aunt Quimby, from whose Vandal incursions
+she now felt a delightful sense of security. She was not, however, like
+most of her compatriots, a warm advocate for the universal diffusion of
+railroads; neither did she assent very cordially to the common remarks
+about this great invention, annihilating both time and space, and
+bringing "the north and the south, and the east and the west" into the
+same neighbourhood.
+
+Bromley Cheston, having succeeded to a handsome inheritance by the
+demise of an opulent relative, in addition to his house in Philadelphia,
+purchased as a summer residence that of his mother-in-law on the banks
+of the Delaware, greatly enlarging and improving it, and adding to its
+little domain some meadow and woodland; also a beautiful piece of
+ground which he converted into a green lawn sloping down towards the
+river, and bounded on one side by a shady road that led to a convenient
+landing-place.
+
+The happiness of Albina and her husband (who in the regular course of
+promotion became Captain Cheston) was much increased by the society of
+Bromley's sister Myrtilla, a beautiful, sprightly, and intelligent girl,
+whom they invited to live with them after the death of her maternal
+grandmother, an eastern lady, with whom she had resided since the loss
+of her parents, and who had left her a little fortune of thirty thousand
+dollars.
+
+Their winters were passed in Philadelphia, where Albina found herself
+quite at home in a circle far superior to that of Mrs. Washington Potts,
+who was one of the first to visit Mrs. Cheston on her marriage. This
+visit was of course received with civility, but returned by merely
+leaving a card at the door. No notice whatever was taken of Mrs. Potts's
+second call; neither was she ever invited to the house.
+
+When Cheston was not at sea, little was wanting to complete the perfect
+felicity of the family. It is true they were not entirely exempt from
+the occasional annoyances and petty vexations, inseparable from even the
+happiest state of human life; but these were only transient shadows,
+that, on passing away, generally served as topics of amusement, and
+caused them to wonder how trifles, diverting in the recollection, could
+have really so troubled them at the time of occurrence. Such, for
+instance, were the frequent visitations of Mrs. Quimby, who told them
+(after they had enlarged their villa, and bought a carriage and a
+tilbury), "Really, good people, now that things are all so genteel, and
+pleasant, and full-handed, I think I shall be apt to favour you with my
+company the greatest part of every summer. There's no danger of Billy
+Fairfowl and Mary being jealous. They always let me go and come just as
+I please; and if I was to stay away ten years, I do not believe they'd
+be the least affronted."
+
+As the old lady had intimated, her visits, instead of being "few and far
+between," were many and close together. It is said you may get used to
+anything, and therefore the Chestons _did not_ sell off their property
+and fly the country on account of Aunt Quimby. Luckily she never brought
+with her any of the Fairfowl family, her son-in-law having sufficient
+tact to avoid on principle all visiting intercourse with people who
+were beyond his sphere: for, though certain of being kindly treated by
+the Chestons themselves, he apprehended that he and his would probably
+be looked down upon by persons whom they might chance to meet there.
+Mrs. Quimby, for her part, was totally obtuse to all sense of these
+distinctions.
+
+One Monday evening, on his return from town, Captain Cheston brought his
+wife and sister invitations to a projected picnic party, among the
+managers of which were two of his intimate friends. The company was to
+consist chiefly of ladies and gentlemen from the city. Their design was
+to assemble on the following Thursday, at some pleasant retreat on the
+banks of the Delaware, and to recreate themselves with an unceremonious
+_fête champêtre_. "I invited them," continued the captain, "to make use
+of my grounds for the purpose. We can find an excellent place for them
+in the woods by the river side. Delham and Lonsgrave will be here
+to-morrow, to reconnoitre the capabilities of the place."
+
+The ladies were delighted with the prospect of the picnic party; more
+especially on finding that most of the company were known to them.
+
+"It will be charming," said Albina, "to have them near us, and to be
+able to supply them with many conveniences from our own house. You may
+be assured, dear Bromley, that I shall liberally do my part towards
+contributing to the picnickery. You know that our culinary preparations
+never go wrong now that I have more experience, good servants, and above
+all plenty to do with."
+
+"How fortunate," said Myrtilla Cheston, "that Mrs. Quimby left us this
+morning. This last visit has been so long that I think she will scarcely
+favour us with another in less than two or three weeks. I hope she will
+not hear that the picnic is to be on our place."
+
+"There is no danger," replied Cheston; "Aunt Quimby cannot possibly know
+any of the persons concerned in it. And besides, I met her to-day in the
+street, and she told me that she was going to set out on Wednesday for
+Baltimore, to visit Billy Fairfowl's sister, Mrs. Bagnell: 'Also,' said
+she, 'it will take me from this time to that to pack my things, as I
+never before went so far from home, and I dare say, I shall stay in
+Baltimore all the rest of the fall; I don't believe when the Bagnells
+once have me with them, they'll let me come away much this side of
+winter.'"
+
+"I sincerely hope they will not!" exclaimed Albina; "I am so glad that
+Nancy Fairfowl has married a Baltimorean. I trust they will make their
+house so pleasant to Aunt Quimby, that she will transfer her favour from
+us to them. You know she often tells us that Nancy and herself are as
+like as two peas, both in looks and ways; and from her account, Johnny
+Bagnell must be a third pea, exactly resembling both of them."
+
+"And yet," observed Cheston, "people whose minds are of the same
+calibre, do not always assimilate as well as might be supposed. When
+_too_ nearly alike, and too close to each other, they frequently rub
+together so as to grate exceedingly."
+
+We will pass over the intervening days by saying, that the preparations
+for the picnic party were duly and successfully made: the arrangement of
+the ground being undertaken by Captain Cheston, and Lieutenants Delham
+and Lonsgrave, and completed with the taste, neatness, and judicious
+arrangement, which always distinguishes such things when done by
+officers, whether of army or navy.
+
+The appointed Thursday arrived. It was a lovely day, early in September:
+the air being of that delightful and exhilarating temperature, that
+converts the mere sense of existence into pleasure. The heats of summer
+were over, and the sky had assumed its mildest tint of blue. All was
+calm and cool, and lovely, and the country seemed sleeping in luxurious
+repose. The grass, refreshed by the August rains, looked green as that
+of the "emerald isle;" and the forest trees had not yet begun to wear
+the brilliant colours of autumn, excepting here and there a maple whose
+foliage was already crimsoned. The orchards were loaded with fruit,
+glowing in ripeness; and the buckwheat fields, white with blossoms,
+perfumed the air with their honeyed fragrance. The rich flowers of the
+season were in full bloom. Birds of beautiful plumage still lingered in
+the woods, and were warbling their farewell notes previous to their
+return to a more southern latitude. The morning sunbeams danced and
+glittered on the blue waters of the broad and brimming Delaware, as the
+mirrored surface reflected its green and fertile banks with their
+flowery meadows, embowering groves, and modestly elegant villas.
+
+The ground allotted to the party was an open space in the woodlands,
+which ran along an elevated ridge, looking directly down on the noble
+river that from its far-off source in the Catskill mountains, first
+dividing Pennsylvania from New York and then from New Jersey, carries
+its tributary stream the distance of three hundred miles, till it widens
+into the dim and lonely bay whose last waves are blended with the
+dark-rolling Atlantic. Old trees of irregular and fantastic forms,
+leaning far over the water, grew on the extreme edge of this bank; and
+from its steep and crumbling side protruded their wildly twisted roots,
+fringed with long fibres that had been washed bare by the tide which
+daily overflowed the broad strip of gray sand, that margined the river.
+Part of an old fence, that had been broken down and carried away by the
+incursions of a spring freshet, still remained, at intervals, along the
+verge of the bank; and his ladies had prevailed on Captain Cheston not
+to repair it, as in its ruinous state it looked far more picturesque
+than if new and in good order. In clearing this part of the forest many
+of the largest and finest trees had been left standing, and beneath
+their shade seats were now dispersed for the company. In another part of
+the opening, a long table had been set under a sort of marquée,
+constructed of colours brought from the Navy Yard, and gracefully
+suspended to the wide-spreading branches of some noble oaks: the stars
+and stripes of the most brilliant flag in the world, blending in
+picturesque elegance with the green and clustering foliage. At a little
+distance, under a group of trees, whose original forms were hidden
+beneath impervious masses of the forest grape-vine, was placed a
+side-table for the reception of the provisions, as they were unpacked
+from the baskets; and a clear shady brook which wandered near, rippling
+over a bed of pebbles on its way down to the river, afforded an
+unlimited supply of "water clear as diamond spark," and made an
+excellent refrigerator for the wine bottles.
+
+Most of the company were to go up in the early boat: purposing to return
+in the evening by the railroad. Others, who preferred making their own
+time, were to come in carriages. As soon as the bell of the steamboat
+gave notice of her approach, Captain Cheston, with his wife and sister,
+accompanied by Lieutenants Delham and Lonsgrave, went down to the
+landing-place to receive the first division of the picnic party, which
+was chiefly of young people, all with smiling countenances, and looking
+as if they anticipated a very pleasant little fête. The Chestons were
+prepared to say with Seged of Ethiopia, "This day shall be a day of
+happiness"--but as the last of the gay procession stepped from the
+landing-board, Aunt Quimby brought up the rear.
+
+"Oh! Bromley," said Mrs. Cheston, in a low voice, to her husband, "there
+is our most _mal-à-propos_ of aunts--I thought she was a hundred miles
+off. This is really too bad--what shall we do with her? On this day,
+too, of all days--"
+
+"We can do nothing, but endeavour, as usual, to make the best of her,"
+replied the captain; "but where did she pick up that common-looking man,
+whom she seems to be hauling along with her?"
+
+Mrs. Quimby now came up, and after the first greeting, Albina and
+Myrtilla endeavoured to withdraw from her the attention of the rest of
+the company, whom they conducted for the present to the house; but she
+seized upon the captain, to whom she introduced her companion by the
+appellation of Mr. Smith. The stranger looked embarrassed, and seemed as
+if he could scarcely presume to take the offered hand of Captain
+Cheston, and muttered something about trespassing on hospitality, but
+Aunt Quimby interrupted him with--"Oh! nonsense, now, Mr. Smith--where's
+the use of being so shame-faced, and making apologies for what can't be
+helped? I dare say my nephew and niece wonder quite as much at seeing
+_me_ here, supposing that I'm safe and sound at Nancy Bagnell's, in
+Baltimore. But are you sure my baggage is all on the barrow? Just step
+back, and see if the big blue bandbox is safe, and the little yellow
+one; I should not wonder if the porter tosses them off, or crushes in
+the lids. All men seem to have a spite at bandboxes."
+
+Mr. Smith meekly obeyed: and Aunt Quimby, taking the arm of Cheston,
+walked with him towards the house.
+
+"Tell me who this gentleman is," said Captain Cheston. "He cannot belong
+to any of the Smiths of 'Market, Arch, Race, and Vine, Chestnut, Walnut,
+Spruce, and Pine.'"
+
+"No," replied Mrs. Quimby, "nor to the Smiths of the cross-streets
+neither--nor to those up in the Northern Liberties, nor them down in
+Southwark. If you mean that he is not a Philadelphia man, you've hit the
+nail on the head--but that's no reason there shouldn't be Smiths enough
+all over the world. However, the short and the long of it is this--I was
+to have started for Baltimore yesterday morning, bright and early, with
+Mr. and Mrs. Neverwait--but the shoemaker had not sent home my
+over-shoes, and the dyer had not finished my gray Canton crape shawl,
+that he was doing a cinnamon brown, and the milliner disappointed me in
+new-lining my bonnet; so I could not possibly go, you know, and the
+Neverwaits went without me. Well, the things _were_ brought home last
+night, which was like coming a day after the fair. But as I was all
+packed up, I was bent upon going, somehow or other, this morning. So I
+made Billy Fairfowl take me down to the wharf, bag and baggage, to see
+if he could find anybody he knew to take charge of me to Baltimore. And
+there, as good luck would have it, we met with Mr. Smith, who has been
+several times in Billy's store, and bought domestics of him, and got
+acquainted with him; so that Billy, finding this poor Mr. Smith was a
+stranger, and a man that took no airs, and that did not set up for great
+things, got very sociable with him, and even invited him to tea. Now,
+when we met him on the wharf, Mr. Smith was quite a windfall for us, and
+he agreed to escort me to Baltimore, as of course he must, when he was
+asked. So, then, Billy being in a hurry to go to market for breakfast
+(before all the pick of the butter was gone), just bade me good-bye, and
+left me on the wharf, seeing what good hands I was in. Now, poor Mr.
+Smith being a stranger, and, of course, not so well used to steamboats
+as our own people, took me into the wrong one; for the New York and
+Baltimore boats were laying side by side, and seemed both mixed
+together, so that it was hard telling which was which, the crowd hiding
+everything from us. And after we got on board, I was so busy talking,
+and he a listening, and looking at the people, that we never found out
+our mistake till we were half-way up the river, instead of being
+half-way down it. And then I heard the ladies all round talking of a nic
+or a pic (or both I believe they called it), that they said was to be
+held on Captain Cheston's grounds. So, then, I pricked up my ears, and
+found that it was even so; and I told them that Captain Cheston was a
+near relation of mine, for his wife was own daughter to Mrs. Marsden
+that was, whose first husband was my sister Nelly's own son; and all
+about your marrying Albina, and what a handsome place you have, and how
+Mr. Smith and I had got into the wrong boat, and were getting carried
+off, being taken up the river instead of down."
+
+"And what did the company say to all this?" inquired Cheston.
+
+"Why, I don't exactly remember, but they must have said something; for I
+know those that were nearest stopped their own talk when I began. And,
+after awhile, I went across to the other side of the boat, where Mr.
+Smith was leaning over the railing, and looking at the foam flying from
+the wheels, (as if it was something new), and I pulled his sleeve, and
+told him we were quite in luck to-day, for we should be at a party
+without intending it. And he made a sort of humming and hawing about
+intruding himself (as he called it) without an invitation. But I told
+him to leave all that to me--I'd engage to pass him through. And he
+talked something of betaking himself to the nearest hotel after we
+landed, and waiting for the next boat down the river. However, I would
+not listen to that; and I made him understand that any how there could
+be no Baltimore to-day, as it was quite too late to get there now by any
+contrivance at all; and that we could go down with the other company
+this evening by the railroad, and take a fresh start to-morrow morning.
+Still he seemed to hold back; and I told him that as to our going to the
+party, all things had turned up as if it _was_ to be, and I should think
+it a sin to fling such good luck aside, when it was just ready to drop
+into our mouths, and that he might never have another chance of being in
+such genteel company as long as he lived. This last hint seemed to do
+the business, for he gave a sort of a pleased smile, and made no more
+objection. And then I put him in mind that the people that owned the
+ground were my own niece and nephew, who were always crazy to see me,
+and have me with them; and I could answer for it they'd be just as glad
+to see any of my acquaintance--and as to the eatables, I was sure _his_
+being there would not make a cent's worth of difference, for I was
+certain there'd be plenty, and oceans of plenty, and I told him only to
+go and look at the baskets of victuals that were going up in the boat;
+besides all that, I knew the Chestons would provide well, for they were
+never backward with anything."
+
+She now stopped to take breath, and Cheston inquired if her son-in-law
+knew nothing more of Mr. Smith than from merely seeing him in his store.
+
+"Oh! yes; did not I tell you we had him to tea? You need not mention it
+to anybody--but (if the truth must be told) Mr. Smith is an Englishman.
+The poor man can't help that, you know: and I'm sure I should never have
+guessed it, for he neither looks English nor talks English. He is not a
+bit like that impudent Mr. Montague, who took slices out of Albina's big
+plum-cake hours before the company came, at that great party she gave
+for Mrs. Washington Potts."
+
+"Pshaw!" said Cheston.
+
+"Yes, you may well pshaw at it. But after all, for my own part, I must
+say I enjoyed myself very much that evening. I had a great deal of
+pleasant talk. I was sorry, afterwards, that I did not stay down stairs
+to the last, to see if all the company took French leave like me. If
+they did, it must have been quite a pretty sight to see them go. By the
+bye (now I talk of French leave) did you hear that the Washington
+Pottses have broke all to pieces and gone off to France to live upon the
+money that he made over to his wife to keep it from his creditors?"
+
+"But, Mr. Smith--" resumed Cheston.
+
+"Why, Bromley, what makes you so fidgety? Billy Fairfowl (though I say
+it that shouldn't say it) is not the man to ask people to tea unless he
+is sure they are pretty decent sort of folks. So he went first to the
+British Consul, and inquired about Mr. Smith, and described his look and
+dress just as he would a runaway 'prentice. And the Consul knew exactly
+who he meant, and told him he would answer for Mr. Smith's being a man
+of good character, and perfectly honest and respectable. And that, you
+know, is quite as much as need be said of anybody. So, then, we had him
+to tea, quite in a plain way; but he seemed very easily satisfied, and
+though there were huckleberries, and cucumbers, and dough-nuts, he did
+not eat a thing but bread and butter, and not much of that, and took no
+sugar in his tea, and only drank two cups. And Billy talked to him the
+whole evening about our factories, and our coal and iron: and he
+listened quite attentively, and seemed to understand very well, though
+he did not say much; and he kept awake all the time, which was very
+clever of him, and more than Billy is used to. He seems like a
+good-hearted man, for he saved little Jane from pulling the tea-waiter
+down upon her head, as she was coming out from under the table; and he
+ran and picked up Johnny, when he fell over the rockers of the big
+chair, and wiped the blood off his nose with his own clean handkerchief.
+I dare say he's a good soul; but he is very humble-minded, and seems so
+afraid of saying wrong that he hardly says anything. Here he comes,
+trudging along beside the porter; and I see he has got all the baggage
+safe, even the brown paper parcel and the calico bag. That's his own
+trunk, under all the rest."
+
+Mr. Smith now came up, and inquired of Captain Cheston for the nearest
+inn, that he might remain there till a boat passed down for
+Philadelphia. "Why, Mr. Smith," interrupted Aunt Quimby, "where's the
+sense of being so backward? We ought to be thankful for our good luck
+in getting here on the very day of the picnic, even though we _did_ come
+by mistake. And now you _are_ here, it's all nonsense for you to run
+away, and go and mope by yourself at a country tavern. I suppose you are
+afraid you're not welcome; but I'll answer for you as well as myself."
+
+Civility to the stranger required that Captain Cheston should second
+Mrs. Quimby; and he did so in terms so polite that Mr. Smith was
+induced, with much diffidence, to remain.
+
+"Poor man!" said Aunt Quimby, in a low voice, to the captain, "between
+ourselves, it's plain enough that he is not much used to being among
+great people, and he's afraid of feeling like a fish out of water. He
+must have a very poor opinion of himself, for even at Billy Fairfowl's
+he did not seem quite at home; though we all tried to encourage him, and
+I told him myself, as soon as we sat down to the tea-table, to make just
+as free as if he was in his own house."
+
+Arrived at the mansion of the Chestons, Mrs. Quimby at first objected to
+changing her dress, which was a very rusty black silk, with a bonnet to
+match; declaring that she was sure nothing was expected of people who
+were on their travels, and that she saw no use in taking the trouble to
+unpack her baggage. She was, however, overruled by the representations
+of Albina, who offered to both unpack and re-pack for her. Accordingly
+she equipped herself in what she called her second-best suit. The gown
+was a thick rustling silk, of a very reddish brown, with a new inside
+kerchief of blue-tinted book muslin that had never been washed. Over her
+shoulders she pinned her Canton-crape shawl, whose brown tinge was
+entirely at variance with the shade of her gown. On her head was a stiff
+hard cap, trimmed with satin ribbon, of a still different brown colour,
+the ends of the bows sticking out horizontally, and scolloped into
+numerous points. She would not wear her best bonnet, lest it should be
+injured; and fortunately her worst was so small that she found, if she
+put it on, it would crush her second-best cap. She carried in one hand a
+stiff-starched handkerchief of imitation-cambric, which she considered
+too good to unfold; and with the other she held over her head a faded
+green parasol.
+
+Thus equipped, the old lady set out with Captain and Mrs. Cheston for
+the scene of the picnic; the rest of the party being a little in advance
+of them. They saw Mr. Smith strolling about the lawn, and Mrs. Quimby
+called to him to come and give his arm to her niece, saying, "There,
+Albina, take him under your wing, and try to make him sociable, while I
+walk on with your husband. Bromley, how well you look in your
+navy-regimentals. I declare I'm more and more in luck. It is not
+everybody that can have an officer always ready and willing to 'squire
+them"--And the old lady (like many young ladies) unconsciously put on a
+different face and a different walk, while escorted by a gentleman in
+uniform.
+
+"Bromley," continued Aunt Quimby, "I heard some of the picnic ladies in
+the boat saying that those which are to ride up are to bring a lion with
+them. This made me open my eyes, and put me all in quiver; so I could
+not help speaking out, and saying--I should make a real right down
+objection to his being let loose among the company, even if he was ever
+so tame. Then they laughed, and one of them said that a lion meant a
+great man; and asked me if I had never heard the term before. I answered
+that may be I had, but it must have slipped my memory; and that I
+thought it a great shame to speak of Christian people as if they were
+wild beasts."
+
+"And who is this great man?" inquired Cheston.
+
+"Oh! he's a foreigner from beyond sea, and he is coming with some of the
+ladies in their own carriage--Baron Somebody"--
+
+"Baron Von Klingenberg," said Cheston, "I have heard of him."
+
+"That's the very name. It seems he is just come from Germany, and has
+taken rooms at one of the tip-top hotels, where he has a table all to
+himself. I wonder how any man can bear to eat his victuals sitting up
+all alone, with not a soul to speak a word with. I think I should die if
+I had no body to talk to. Well--they said that this Baron is a person of
+very high _tone_, which I suppose means that he has a very loud
+voice--and from what I could gather, it's fashionable for the young
+ladies to fall in love with him, and they think it an honour to get a
+bow from him in Chesnut street, and they take him all about with them.
+And they say he has in his own country a castle that stands on banks of
+rind, which seems a strange foundation. Dear me--now we've got to the
+picnic place--how gay and pretty everything looks, and what heaps of
+victuals there must be in all those baskets, and oceans of drinkables in
+all those bottles and demijohns. Mercy on me--I pity the
+dish-washers--when will they get through all the dirty plates! And I
+declare! how beautiful the flags look! fixed up over the table just
+like bed-curtains--I am glad you have plenty of chairs here, besides the
+benches.--And only see!--if here a'n't cakes and lemonade coming round."
+
+The old lady took her seat under one of the large trees, and entered
+unhesitatingly into whatever conversation was within her hearing;
+frequently calling away the Chestons to ask them questions or address to
+them remarks. The company generally divided into groups; some sat, some
+walked, some talked; and some, retreating farther into the woods, amused
+themselves and each other with singing, or playing forfeits. There was,
+as is usual in Philadelphia assemblages, a very large proportion of
+handsome young ladies; and all were dressed in that consistent,
+tasteful, and decorous manner which distinguishes the fair damsels of
+the city of Penn.
+
+In a short time Mrs. Quimby missed her protegée, and looking round for
+him she exclaimed--"Oh! if there is not Mr. Smith a sitting on a rail,
+just back of me, all the time. Do come down off the fence, Mr. Smith.
+You'll find a much pleasanter seat on this low stump behind me, than to
+stay perched up there. Myrtilla Cheston, my dear, come here--I want to
+speak to you."
+
+Miss Cheston had the amiability to approach promptly and cheerfully:
+though called away from an animated conversation with two officers of
+the navy, two of the army, and three young lawyers, who had all formed a
+semicircle round four of the most attractive belles: herself being the
+cynosure.
+
+"Myrtilla," said Aunt Quimby, in rather a low voice, "do take some
+account of this poor forlorn man that's sitting behind me. He's so very
+backward, and thinks himself such a mere nobody, that I dare say he
+feels bad enough at being here without an invitation, and all among
+strangers too--though I've told him over and over that he need not have
+the least fear of being welcome. There now--there's a good girl--go and
+spirit him up a little. You know you are at home here on your brother's
+own ground."
+
+"I scarcely know how to talk to an Englishman," replied Myrtilla, in a
+very low voice.
+
+"Why, can't you ask him, if he ever in his life saw so wide a river, and
+if he ever in his life saw such big trees, and if he don't think our sun
+a great deal brighter than his, and if he ever smelt buckwheat before?"
+
+Myrtilla turned towards Mr. Smith (and perceiving from his
+ill-suppressed smile that he had heard Mrs. Quimby's instructions) like
+Olivia in the play, she humoured the jest by literally following them,
+making a curtsy to the gentleman, and saying, "Mr. Smith, did you ever
+in your life see so wide a river? did you ever in your life see such big
+trees? don't you think our sun a great deal brighter than yours? and did
+you ever smell buckwheat before?"
+
+"I have not had that happiness," replied Mr. Smith with a simpering
+laugh, as he rose from the old stump, and, forgetting that it was not a
+chair, tried to hand it to Myrtilla. She bowed in acknowledgment, placed
+herself on the seat--and for awhile endeavoured to entertain Mr. Smith,
+as he stood leaning (not picturesquely) against a portion of the broken
+fence.
+
+In the mean time Mrs. Quimby continued to call on the attention of those
+around her. To some the old lady was a source of amusement, to others of
+disgust and annoyance. By this time they all understood who she was, and
+how she happened to be there. Fixing her eyes on a very dignified and
+fashionable looking young lady, whom she had heard addressed as Miss
+Lybrand, and (who with several others) was sitting nearly opposite,
+"Pray, Miss," said Aunt Quimby, "was your grandfather's name Moses?"
+
+"It was," replied the young lady.
+
+"Oh! then you must be a granddaughter of old Moses Lybrand, who kept a
+livery stable up in Race street; and his son Aaron always used to drive
+the best carriage, after the old man was past doing it himself. Is your
+father's name Aaron?"
+
+"No, madam," said Miss Lybrand--looking very red--"My father's name is
+Richard."
+
+"Richard--he must have been one of the second wife's children. Oh! I
+remember seeing him about when he was a little boy. He had a curly head,
+and on week days generally wore a gray jacket and corduroy trowsers; but
+he had a nice bottle-green suit for Sunday. Yes, yes--they went to our
+church, and sat up in the gallery. And he was your father, was he? Then
+Aaron must have been your own uncle. He was a very careful driver for a
+young man. He learnt of his father. I remember just after we were first
+married, Mr. Quimby hiring Moses Lybrand's best carriage to take me and
+my bridesmaids and groomsmen on a trip to Germantown. It was a yellow
+coachee with red curtains, and held us all very well with close packing.
+In those days people like us took their wedding rides to Germantown and
+Frankford and Darby, and ordered a dinner at a tavern with custards and
+whips, and came home in the evening. And the high-flyers, when _they_
+got married, went as far as Chester or Dunks's Ferry. They did not then
+start off from the church door and scour the roads all the way to
+Niagara just because they were brides and grooms; as if that was any
+reason for flying their homes directly. But pray what has become of your
+uncle Aaron?"
+
+"I do not know," said the young lady, looking much displeased; "I never
+heard of him."
+
+"But did not you tell me your grandfather's name was Moses?"
+
+"There may have been other Moses Lybrands."
+
+"Was not he a short pockmarked man, that walked a little lame, with
+something of a cast in his right eye: or, I won't be positive, may be it
+was in the left?"
+
+"I am very sure papa's father was no such looking person," replied Miss
+Lybrand, "but I never saw him--he died before I was born--"
+
+"Poor old man," resumed Mrs. Quimby, "if I remember right, Moses became
+childish many years before his death."
+
+Miss Lybrand then rose hastily, and proposed to her immediate companions
+a walk farther into the woods; and Myrtilla, leaving the vicinity of Mr.
+Smith, came forward and joined them: her friends making a private signal
+to her not to invite the aforesaid gentleman to accompany them.
+
+Aunt Quimby saw them depart, and looking round said--"Why, Mr.
+Smith--have the girls given you the slip? But to be sure, they meant you
+to follow them!"
+
+Mr. Smith signified that he had not courage to do so without an
+invitation, and that he feared he had already been tiring Miss Cheston.
+
+"Pho, pho," said Mrs. Quimby, "you are quite too humble. Pluck up a
+little spirit, and run after the girls."
+
+"I believe," replied he, "I cannot take such a liberty."
+
+"Then I'll call Captain Cheston to introduce you to some more gentlemen.
+Here--Bromley--"
+
+"No--no," said Mr. Smith, stopping her apprehensively; "I would rather
+not intrude any farther upon his kindness."
+
+"I declare you are the shame-facedest man I ever saw in my life. Well,
+then, you can walk about, and look at the trees and bushes. There's a
+fine large buttonwood, and there's a sassafras; or you can go to the
+edge of the bank and look at the river and watch how the tide goes down
+and leaves the splatter-docks standing in the mud. See how thick they
+are at low water--I wonder if you couldn't count them. And may be
+you'll see a wood-shallop pass along, or may be a coal-barge. And who
+knows but a sturgeon may jump out of the water, and turn head over heels
+and back again--it's quite a handsome sight!"
+
+Good Mr. Smith did as he was bidden, and walked about and looked at
+things, and probably counted the splatter-docks, and perhaps saw a fish
+jump.
+
+"It's all bashfulness--nothing in the world but bashfulness," pursued
+Mrs. Quimby; "that's the only reason Mr. Smith don't talk."
+
+"For my part," said a very elegant looking girl, "I am perfectly willing
+to impute the taciturnity of Mr. Smith (and that of all other silent
+people) to modesty. But yet I must say, that as far as I have had
+opportunities of observing, most men above the age of twenty have
+sufficient courage to talk, if they know what to say. When the head is
+well furnished with ideas, the tongue cannot habitually refrain from
+giving them utterance."
+
+"That's a very good observation," said Mrs. Quimby, "and suits _me_
+exactly. But as to Mr. Smith, I do believe it's all bashfulness with
+him. Between ourselves (though the British consul warrants him
+respectable) I doubt whether he was ever in such genteel society before;
+and may be he thinks it his duty to listen and not to talk, poor man.
+But then he ought to know, that in our country he need not be afraid of
+nobody: and that here all people are equal, and one is as good as
+another."
+
+"Not exactly," said the young lady, "we have in America, as in Europe,
+numerous gradations of mind, manners, and character. Politically we are
+equal, as far as regards the rights of citizens and the protection of
+the laws; and also we have no privileged orders. But individually it is
+difficult for the refined and the vulgar, the learned and the ignorant,
+the virtuous and the vicious to associate familiarly and
+indiscriminately, even in a republic."
+
+The old lady looked mystified for a few moments, and then proceeded--"As
+you say, people's different. We can't be hail fellow well met, with Tom,
+Dick, and Harry--but for my part I think myself as good as anybody!"
+
+No one contradicted this opinion, and just then a gentleman came up and
+said to the young lady--"Miss Atwood, allow me to present you with a
+sprig of the last wild roses of the season. I found a few still
+lingering on a bush in a shady lane just above."
+
+    "'I bid their blossoms in my bonnet wave,'"
+
+said Miss Atwood--inserting them amid one of the riband bows.
+
+"Atwood--Atwood," said Aunt Quimby, "I know the name very well. Is not
+your father Charles Atwood, who used to keep a large wholesale store in
+Front street?"
+
+"I have the happiness of being that gentleman's daughter," replied the
+young lady.
+
+"And you live up Chestnut now, don't you--among the fashionables?"
+
+"My father's house _is_ up Chestnut street."
+
+"Your mother was a Ross, wasn't she?"
+
+"Her maiden name _was_ Ross."
+
+"I thought so," proceeded Mrs. Quimby; "I remember your father very
+well. He was the son of Tommy Atwood, who kept an ironmonger's shop down
+Second street by the New Market. Your grandfather was a very obliging
+man, rather fat. I have often been in his store, when we lived down that
+way. I remember once of buying a waffle-iron of him, and when I tried it
+and found it did not make a pretty pattern on the waffles, I took it
+back to him to change it: but having no other pattern, he returned me
+the money as soon as I asked him. And another time, he had the kitchen
+tongs mended for me without charging a cent, when I put him in mind that
+I had bought them there; which was certainly very genteel of him. And no
+wonder he made a fortune; as all people do that are obliging to their
+customers, and properly thankful to them. Your grandfather had a
+brother, Jemmy Atwood, who kept a china shop up Third street. He was
+your great-uncle, and he married Sally Dickison, whose father, old Adam
+Dickison, was in the shoemaking line, and died rich. I have heard Mr.
+Quimby tell all about them. He knew all the family quite well, and he
+once had a sort of notion of Sally Dickison himself, before he got
+acquainted with me. Old Adam Dickison was a very good man, but he and
+his wife were rather too fond of family names. He called one of his
+daughters Sarah, after his mother, and another Sarah, after his wife;
+for he said 'there couldn't be too many Sally Dickisons.' But they found
+afterwards they could not get along without tacking Ann to one of the
+Sarahs, and Jane to the other. Then they had a little girl whom they
+called Debby, after some aunt Deborah. But little Debby died, and next
+they had a boy; yet rather than the name should be lost, they christened
+him Debbius. I wish I could remember whether Debbius was called after
+the little Debby or the big one. Sometimes I think it was one and
+sometimes t'other--I dare say Miss Atwood, you can tell, as you belong
+to the family?"
+
+"I am glad that I can set this question at rest," replied Miss Atwood,
+smiling heroically; "I have heard the circumstance mentioned when my
+father has spoken of his great-uncle Jemmy, the chinaman, and of the
+shoemaker's family into which uncle Jemmy married, and in which were the
+two Sallys. Debbius was called equally after his sister and his aunt."
+
+Then turning to the very handsome and _distingué_-looking young
+gentleman who had brought her the flowers, and who had seemed much
+amused at the foregoing dialogue, Miss Atwood took his hand, and said to
+Aunt Quimby: "Let me present to you a grandson of that very Debbius, Mr.
+Edward Symmington, my sort of cousin; and son of Mr. Symmington, the
+lawyer, who chanced to marry Debbius's daughter."
+
+Young Symmington laughed, and, after telling Miss Atwood that she did
+everything with a good grace, he proposed that they should join some of
+their friends who were amusing themselves further up in the woods. Miss
+Atwood took his arm, and, bowing to Mrs. Quimby, they departed.
+
+"That's a very pleasant young lady," said she; "I am glad I've got
+acquainted with her. She's very much like her grandfather, the
+ironmonger; her nose is the very image of old Benny's."
+
+Fearing that _their_ turn might come next, all the young people now
+dispersed from the vicinity of Aunt Quimby, who, accosting a housewifely
+lady that had volunteered to superintend the arrangements of the table,
+proposed going with her to see the baskets unpacked.
+
+The remainder of the morning passed pleasantly away; and about noon,
+Myrtilla Cheston and her companions, returning from their ramble, gave
+notice that the carriages from town were approaching. Shortly after,
+there appeared at the entrance of the wood, several vehicles filled with
+ladies and gentlemen, who had preferred this mode of conveyance to
+coming up in the early boat. Most of the company went to meet them,
+being curious to see exactly who alighted.
+
+When the last carriage drew up, there was a buzz all round: "There is
+the Baron! there is the Baron Von Klingenberg; as usual, with Mrs. Blake
+Bentley and her daughters!"
+
+After the new arrivals had been conducted by the Chestons to the house,
+and adjusted their dresses, they were shown into what was considered the
+drawing-room part of the woods, and accommodated with seats. But it was
+very evident that Mrs. Blake Bentley's party were desirous of keeping
+chiefly to themselves, talking very loudly to each other, and seemingly
+resolved to attract the attention of every one round.
+
+"Bromley," said Mrs. Quimby, having called Captain Cheston to her, "is
+that a baron?"
+
+"That is the Baron Von Klingenberg."
+
+"Well, between ourselves, he's about as ugly a man as ever I laid my
+eyes on. At least, he looks so at that distance; a clumsy fellow, with
+high shoulders and a round back, and his face all over hair, and as
+bandy as he can be, besides; and he's not a bit young, neither."
+
+"Barons never seem to me young," said Miss Turretville, a young lady of
+the romantic school, "but Counts always do."
+
+"I declare even Mr. Smith is better looking," pursued Aunt Quimby,
+fixing her eyes on the baron; "don't you think so, Miss?"
+
+"I think nothing about him," replied the fair Turretville.
+
+"Mr. Smith," said Myrtilla, "perhaps is not actually ugly, and, if
+properly dressed, might look tolerably; but he is too meek and too weak.
+I wasted much time in trying to entertain him, as I sat under the tree;
+but he only looked down and simpered, and scarcely ventured a word in
+reply. One thing is certain, I shall take no further account of him."
+
+"Now, Myrtilla, it's a shame, to set your face against the poor man in
+this way. I dare say he is very good."
+
+"That is always said of stupid people."
+
+"No doubt it would brighten him wonderfully, if you were to dance with
+him when the ball begins."
+
+"Dance!" said Myrtilla, "dance with _him_. Do you suppose he knows
+either a step or a figure? No, no! I shall take care never to exhibit
+myself as Mr. Smith's partner, and I beg of you, Aunt Quimby, on no
+account to hint such a thing to him. Besides, I am already engaged three
+sets deep," and she ran away, on seeing that Mr. Smith was approaching.
+
+"Well, Mr. Smith," said the old lady, "have you been looking at the
+shows of the place? And now the greatest show of all has arrived--the
+Baron of Clinkanbeg. Have you seen him?"
+
+"I believe I have," replied Mr. Smith.
+
+"You wander about like a lost sheep, Mr. Smith," said Aunt Quimby,
+protectingly, "and look as if you had not a word to throw at a dog; so
+sit down and talk to _me_. There's a dead log for you. And now you
+shan't stir another step till dinner-time." Mr. Smith seated himself on
+the dead log, and Mrs. Quimby proceeded: "I wish, though, we could find
+places a little nearer to the baron and his ladies, and hear them talk.
+Till to-day, I never heard a nobleman speak in my life, having had no
+chance. But, after all, I dare say they have voices much like other
+people. Did you ever happen to hear any of them talk, when you lived in
+England?"
+
+"Once or twice, I believe," said Mr. Smith.
+
+"Of course--excuse me, Mr. Smith--but, of course, they didn't speak to
+_you_?"
+
+"If I recollect rightly, they chanced to have occasion to do so."
+
+"On business, I suppose. Do noblemen go to shops themselves and buy
+their own things? Mr. Smith, just please to tell me what line you are
+in."
+
+Mr. Smith looked very red, and cast down his eyes. "I am in the tin
+line," said he, after a pause.
+
+"The tin line! Well, never mind; though, to be sure, I did not expect
+you were a tinner. Perhaps you do a little also in the japan way?"
+
+"No," replied Mr. Smith, magnanimously, "I deal in nothing but tin,
+plain tin!"
+
+"Well, if you think of opening a shop in Philadelphia, I am pretty sure
+Billy Fairfowl will give you his custom; and I'll try to get Mrs.
+Pattypan and Mrs. Kettleworth to buy all their tins of you."
+
+Mr. Smith bowed his head in thankfulness.
+
+"One thing I'm sure of," continued Aunt Quimby, "you'll never be the
+least above your business. And, I dare say, after you get used to our
+American ways, and a little more acquainted with our people, you'll be
+able to take courage and hold up your head, and look about quite pert."
+
+Poor Mr. Smith covered his face with his hands and shook his head, as if
+repelling the possibility of his ever looking pert.
+
+The Baron Von Klingenberg and his party were all on chairs, and formed
+an impervious group. Mrs. Blake Bentley sat on one side of him, her
+eldest daughter on the other, the second and third Miss Bentleys
+directly in front, and the fourth, a young lady of eighteen, who
+affected infantine simplicity and passed for a child, seated herself
+innocently on the grass at the baron's feet. Mrs. Bentley was what some
+call a fine-looking woman, being rather on a large scale, with fierce
+black eyes, a somewhat acquiline nose, a set of very white teeth (from
+the last new dentist), very red cheeks, and a profusion of dark
+ringlets. Her dress, and that of her daughters, was always of the most
+costly description, their whole costume being made and arranged in an
+ultra fashionable manner. Around the Bentley party was a circle of
+listeners, and admirers, and enviers; and behind that circle was another
+and another. Into the outworks of the last, Aunt Quimby pushed her way,
+leading, or rather pulling, the helpless Mr. Smith along with her.
+
+The Baron Von Klingenberg (to do him justice) spoke our language with
+great facility, his foreign accent being so slight that many thought
+they could not perceive it at all. Looking over the heads of the ladies
+immediately around him, he levelled his opera-glass at all who were
+within his view, occasionally inquiring about them of Mrs. Blake
+Bentley, who also could not see without her glass. She told him the
+names of those whom she considered the most fashionable, adding,
+confidentially, a disparaging remark upon each. Of a large proportion of
+the company, she affected, however, to know nothing, replying to the
+baron's questions with: "Oh! I really cannot tell you. They are people
+whom one does not know--very respectable, no doubt; but not the sort of
+persons one meets in society. You must be aware that on these occasions
+the company is always more or less mixed, for which reason I generally
+bring my own party along with me."
+
+"This assemblage," said the baron, "somewhat reminds me of the annual
+_fêtes_ I give to my serfs in the park that surrounds my castle, at the
+cataract of the Rhine."
+
+Miss Turretville had just come up, leaning on the arm of Myrtilla
+Cheston. "Let us try to get nearer to the baron," said she; "he is
+talking about castles. Oh! I am so glad that I have been introduced to
+him. I met him the other evening at Mrs. De Mingle's select party, and
+he took my fan out of my hand and fanned himself with it. There is
+certainly an elegant ease about European gentlemen that our Americans
+can never acquire."
+
+"Where is the ease and elegance of Mr. Smith?" thought Myrtilla, as she
+looked over at that forlorn individual shrinking behind Aunt Quimby.
+
+"As I was saying," pursued the baron, lolling back in his chair and
+applying to his nose Mrs. Bentley's magnificent essence-bottle, "when I
+give these _fêtes_ to my serfs, I regale them with Westphalia hams from
+my own hunting-grounds, and with hock from my own vineyards."
+
+"Dear me! ham and hock!" ejaculated Mrs. Quimby.
+
+"Baron," said Miss Turretville, "I suppose you have visited the Hartz
+mountains?"
+
+"My castle stands on one of them."
+
+"Charming! Then you have seen the Brocken?"
+
+"It is directly in front of my ramparts."
+
+"How delightful! Do you never imagine that on a stormy night you hear
+the witches riding through the air, to hold their revels on the Brocken?
+Are there still brigands in the Black Forest?"
+
+"Troops of them. The Black Forest is just back of my own woods. The
+robbers were once so audacious as to attack my castle, and we had a
+bloody fight. But we at length succeeded in taking all that were left
+alive."
+
+"What a pity! Was their captain anything like Charles de Moor?"
+
+"Just such a man."
+
+"Baron," observed Myrtilla, a little mischievously, "the situation of
+your castle must be _unique_; in the midst of the Hartz mountains, at
+the falls of the Rhine, with the Brocken in front, and the Black Forest
+behind."
+
+"You doat on the place, don't you?" asked Miss Turretville. "Do you live
+there always?"
+
+"No; only in the hunting season. I am equally at home in all the
+capitals of the continent. I might, perhaps, be chiefly at my native
+place, Vienna, only my friend, the emperor, is never happy but when I am
+with him; and his devotion to me is rather overwhelming. The truth is,
+one gets surfeited with courts, and kings, and princes; so I thought it
+would be quite refreshing to take a trip to America, having great
+curiosity to see what sort of a place it is. I recollect, at the last
+court ball, the emperor was teazing me to waltz with his cousin, the
+Archduchess of Hesse Hoblingen, who, he feared, would be offended if I
+neglected her. But her serene highness dances as if she had a
+cannon-ball chained to each foot, and so I got off by flatly telling my
+friend the emperor that if women chose to go to balls in velvet and
+ermine, and with coronets on their heads, they might get princes or some
+such people to dance with them; as for my part, it was rather
+excruciating to whirl about with persons in heavy royal robes!"
+
+"Is it possible!" exclaimed Miss Turretville, "did you venture to talk
+so to an emperor? Of course before next day you were loaded with chains
+and immured in a dungeon; from which I suppose you escaped by a
+subterranean passage."
+
+"Not at all; my old crony the emperor knows his man; so he only laughed
+and slapped me on the shoulder, and I took his arm, and we sauntered off
+together to the other end of the grand saloon. I think I was in my
+hussar uniform; I recollect that evening I broke my quizzing glass, and
+had to borrow the Princess of Saxe Blinkenberg's."
+
+"Was it very elegant--set round with diamonds?" asked Miss Matilda
+Bentley, putting up to her face a hand on which glittered a valuable
+brilliant.
+
+"Quite likely it was, but I never look at diamonds; one gets so tired of
+them. I have not worn any of mine these seven years; I often joke with
+my friend Prince Esterhazy about his diamond coat, that he _will_
+persist in wearing on great occasions. Its glitter really incommodes my
+eyes when he happens to be near me, as he generally is. Whenever he
+moves you may track him by the gems that drop from it, and you may hear
+him far off by their continual tinkling as they fall."
+
+"Only listen to that, Mr. Smith," said Aunt Quimby aside to her
+protegée, "I do not believe there is such a man in the world as that
+Hester Hazy with his diamond coat, that he's telling all this rigmarole
+about. It sounds like one of Mother Bunch's tales."
+
+"I rather think there is such a man," said Mr. Smith.
+
+"Nonsense, Mr. Smith, why you're a greater goose than I supposed!"
+
+Mr. Smith assented by a meek bow.
+
+Dinner was now announced. The gentlemen conducted the ladies, and Aunt
+Quimby led Mr. Smith; but she could not prevail on him to take a seat
+beside her, near the head of the table, and directly opposite to the
+Baron and his party. He humbly insisted on finding a place for himself
+very low down, and seemed glad to get into the neighbourhood of Captain
+Cheston, who presided at the foot.
+
+The Blake Bentley party all levelled their glasses at Aunt Quimby; but
+the old lady stood fire amazingly well, being busily engaged in
+preparing her silk gown against the chance of injury from any possible
+accident, tucking a napkin into her belt, pinning a pocket handkerchief
+across the body of her dress, turning up her cuffs, and tying back the
+strings of her cap to save the ribbon from grease-spots.
+
+The dinner was profuse, excellent, and handsomely arranged: and for a
+while most of the company were too earnestly occupied in satisfying
+their appetites to engage much in conversation. Aunt Quimby sent a
+waiter to Captain Cheston to desire him to take care of poor Mr. Smith:
+which message the waiter thought it unnecessary to deliver.
+
+Mrs. Blake Bentley and her daughter Matilda sat one on each side of the
+Baron, and showed rather more assiduity in helping him than is customary
+from ladies to gentlemen. Also their solicitude in anticipating his
+wants was a work of super-erogation, for the Baron could evidently take
+excellent care of himself, and was unremitting in his applications to
+every one round him for everything within their reach, and loud and
+incessant in his calls to the waiters for clean plates and clean
+glasses.
+
+When the dessert was set on, and the flow of soul was succeeding to the
+feast which, whether of reason or not, had been duly honoured, Mrs.
+Quimby found leisure to look round, and resume her colloquy.
+
+"I believe, madam, your name is Bentley," said she to the lofty looking
+personage directly opposite.
+
+"I am Mrs. Blake Bentley," was the reply, with an imperious stare that
+was intended to frown down all further attempts at conversation. But
+Aunt Quimby did not comprehend repulsion, and had never been silenced in
+her life--so she proceeded--
+
+"I remember your husband very well. He was a son of old Benny Bentley up
+Second street, that used to keep the sign of the Adam and Eve, but
+afterwards changed it to the Liberty Tree. His wife was a Blake--that
+was the way your husband came by his name. Her father was an
+upholsterer, and she worked at the trade before she was married. She
+made two bolsters and three pillows for me at different times; though
+I'm not quite sure it was not two pillows and three bolsters. He had a
+brother, Billy Blake, that was a painter: so he must have been your
+husband's uncle."
+
+"Excuse me," said Mrs. Blake Bentley, "I don't understand what you are
+talking about. But I'm very sure there were never any artist people in
+the family."
+
+"Oh! Billy Blake was a painter and glazier both," resumed Mrs. Quimby;
+"I remember him as well as if he was my own brother. We always sent for
+him to mend our broken windows. I can see him now--coming with his glass
+box and his putty. Poor fellow, he was employed to put a new coat of
+paint on Christ Church steeple, which we thought would be a good job for
+him: but the scaffold gave way and he fell down and broke his leg. We
+lived right opposite, and saw him tumble. It's a mercy he wasn't killed
+right out. He was carried home on a hand-barrow. I remember the
+afternoon as well as if it were yesterday. We had a pot-pie for dinner
+that day; and I happened to have on a new calico gown, a green ground
+with a yellow sprig in it. I have some of the pieces now in patch-work."
+
+Mrs. Blake Bentley gave Mrs. Quimby a look of unqualified disdain, and
+then turning to the baron, whispered him to say something that might
+stop the mouth of that abominable old woman. And by way of beginning she
+observed aloud, "Baron, what very fine plums these are!"
+
+"Yes," said the baron, helping himself to them profusely, "and apropos
+to plums--one day when I happened to be dining with the king of Prussia,
+there were some very fine peaches at table (we were sitting, you know,
+trifling, over the dessert), and the king said to me, 'Klingenberg, my
+dear fellow, let's try which of us can first break that large
+looking-glass by shooting a peach-stone at it.'"
+
+"Dear me! what a king!" interrupted Mrs. Quimby, "and now I look at you
+again, sir (there, just now, with your head turned to the light),
+there's something in your face that puts me in mind of Jacob Stimbel,
+our Dutch young man that used to live with us and help to do the work.
+Mr. Quimby bought him at the wharf out of a redemptioner ship. He was to
+serve us three years: but before his time was up be ran away (as they
+often do) and went to Lancaster, and set up his old trade of a
+carpenter, and married a bricklayer's daughter, and got rich and built
+houses, and had three or four sons--I think I heard that one of them
+turned out a pretty bad fellow. I can see Jake Stimbel now, carrying the
+market-basket after me, or scrubbing the pavement. Whenever I look at
+you I think of him; may be he was some relation of yours, as you both
+came from Germany?"
+
+"A relation of mine, madam!" said the Baron.
+
+"There now--there's Jake Stimbel to the life. He had just that way of
+stretching up his eyes and drawing down his mouth when he did not know
+what to say, which was usually the case after he stayed on errands."
+
+The baron contracted his brows, and bit in his lips.
+
+"Fix your face as you will," continued Mrs. Quimby, "you are as like him
+as you can look. I am sure I ought to remember Jacob Stimbel, for I had
+all the trouble of teaching him to do his work, besides learning him to
+talk American; and as soon as he had learnt, he cleared himself off, as
+I told you, and ran away from us."
+
+The baron now turned to Matilda Bentley, and endeavoured to engage her
+attention by an earnest conversation in an under tone; and Mrs. Bentley
+looked daggers at Aunt Quimby, who said in a low voice to a lady that
+sat next to her, "What a pity Mrs. Bentley has such a violent way with
+her eyes. She'd be a handsome woman if it was not for that."
+
+Then resuming her former tone, the impenetrable old lady continued,
+"Some of these Dutch people that came over German redemptioners, and
+were sold out of ships, have made great fortunes." And then turning to a
+lady who sat on the other side, she proceeded to enumerate various
+wealthy and respectable German families whose grandfathers and
+grandmothers had been sold out of ships. Bromley Cheston, perceiving
+that several of the company were wincing under this infliction, proposed
+a song from one of the young officers whom he knew to be an accomplished
+vocalist. This song was succeeded by several others, and during the
+singing the Blake Bentley party gradually slipped away from the table.
+
+After dinner the company withdrew and dispersed themselves among the
+trees, while the servants, &c., were dining. Mrs. Cheston vainly did her
+utmost to prevail on Aunt Quimby to go to the house and take a _siesta_.
+"What for?" said Mrs. Quimby, "why should I go to sleep when I ain't a
+bit sleepy. I never was wider awake in my life. No, no--these parties
+don't come every day; and I'll make the most of this now I have had the
+good luck to be at it. But, bless me! now I think of it, I have not laid
+eyes on Mr. Smith these two hours--I hope he is not lost. When did he
+leave the table? Who saw him go? He's not used to being in the woods,
+poor man!"
+
+The sound of the tambourine now denoted the approach of the musicians,
+and the company adjourned to the dancing ground, which was a wide
+opening in the woods shaded all round with fine trees, under which
+benches had been placed. For the orchestra a little wooden gallery had
+been erected about eight feet from the ground, running round the trunk
+and amid the spreading boughs of an immense hickory.
+
+The dancers had just taken their places for the first set, when they
+were startled by the shrieks of a woman, which seemed to ascend from the
+river-beach below. The gentlemen and many of the ladies ran to the edge
+of the bank to ascertain the cause, and Aunt Quimby, looking down among
+the first, exclaimed, "Oh! mercy! if there isn't Mr. Smith a collaring
+the baron, and Miss Matilda a screaming for dear life!"
+
+"The baron collaring Mr. Smith, you mean," said Myrtilla, approaching
+the bank.
+
+"No, no--I mean as I say. Why who'd think it was in Mr. Smith to do such
+a thing! Oh! see, only look how he shakes him. And now he gives him a
+kick, only think of doing all that to a baron! but I dare say he
+deserves it. He looks more like Jake Stimbel than ever."
+
+Captain Cheston sprung down the bank (most of the other gentlemen
+running after him), and immediately reaching the scene of action rescued
+the foreigner, who seemed too frightened to oppose any effectual
+resistance to his assailant.
+
+"Mr. Smith," said Captain Cheston, "what is the meaning of this
+outrage,--and in the presence of a lady, too!"
+
+"The lady must excuse me," replied Mr. Smith, "for it is in her behalf I
+have thus forgotten myself so far as to chastise on the spot a
+contemptible villain. Let us convey Miss Bentley up the bank, for she
+seems greatly agitated, and I will then explain to the gentlemen the
+extraordinary scene they have just witnessed."
+
+"Only hear Mr. Smith, how he's talking out!" exclaimed Aunt Quimby. "And
+there's the baron-fellow putting up his coat collar and sneaking off
+round the corner of the bank. I'm so glad he's turned out a scamp!"
+
+Having reached the top of the bank, Matilda Bentley, who had nearly
+fainted, was laid on a bench and consigned to the care of her mother and
+sisters. A flood of tears came to her relief, and while she was
+indulging in them, Mrs. Bentley joined the group who were assembled
+round Mr. Smith and listening to his narrative.
+
+Mr. Smith explained that he knew this _soi-disant_ Baron Von Klingenberg
+to be an impostor and a swindler. That he had, some years since, under
+another name, made his appearance in Paris, as an American gentleman of
+German origin, and large fortune; but soon gambled away all his money.
+That he afterwards, under different appellations, visited the principal
+cities of the continent, but always left behind the reputation of a
+swindler. That he had seen him last in London, in the capacity of valet
+to the real Baron Von Klingenberg, who, intending a visit to the United
+States, had hired him as being a native of America, and familiar with
+the country and its customs. But an unforeseen circumstance having
+induced that gentleman to relinquish this transatlantic voyage, his
+American valet robbed him of a large sum of money and some valuable
+jewels, stole also the letters of introduction which had been obtained
+by the real Baron, and with them had evidently been enabled to pass
+himself for his master. To this explanation, Mr. Smith added that while
+wandering among the trees on the edge of the bank, he had seen the
+impostor on the beach below, endeavouring to persuade Miss Bentley to an
+elopement with him; proposing that they should repair immediately to a
+place in the neighbourhood, where the railroad cars stopped on their way
+to New York, and from thence proceed to that city, adding,--"You know
+there is no overtaking a railroad car, so all pursuit of us will be in
+vain; besides, when once married all will be safe, as you are of age and
+mistress of your own fortune." "Finding," continued Mr. Smith, "that he
+was likely to succeed in persuading Miss Bentley to accompany him, I
+could no longer restrain my indignation, which prompted me to rush down
+the bank and adopt summary measures in rescuing the young lady from the
+hands of so infamous a scoundrel, whom nothing but my unwillingness to
+disturb the company prevented me from exposing as soon as I saw him."
+
+"Don't believe him," screamed Mrs. Blake Bentley; "Mr. Smith indeed! Who
+is to take _his_ word? Who knows what Mr. Smith is?"
+
+"I do," said a voice from the crowd; and there stepped forward a
+gentlemen, who had arrived in a chaise with a friend about half an hour
+before. "I had the pleasure of knowing him intimately in England, when I
+was minister to the court of St. James's."
+
+"May be you bought your tins at his shop," said Aunt Quimby.
+
+The ex-ambassador in a low voice exchanged a few words with Mr. Smith;
+and then taking his hand, presented him as the Earl of Huntingford,
+adding, "The only tin he deals in is that produced by his extensive
+mines in Cornwall."
+
+The whole company were amazed into a silence of some moments: after
+which there was a general buzz of favourable remark; Captain Cheston
+shook hands with him, and all the gentlemen pressed forward to be more
+particularly introduced to Lord Huntingford.
+
+"Dear me!" said Aunt Quimby; "to think that I should have been so
+sociable with a lord--and a real one too--and to think how he drank tea
+at Billy Fairfowl's in the back parlour, and ate bread and butter just
+like any other man--and how he saved Jane, and picked up Johnny--I
+suppose I must not speak to you now, Mr. Smith, for I don't know how to
+begin calling you my lord. And you don't seem like the same man, now
+that you can look and talk like other people: and (excuse my saying so)
+even your dress looks genteeler."
+
+"Call me still Mr. Smith, if you choose," replied Lord Huntingford; and,
+turning to Captain Cheston, he continued--"Under that name I have had
+opportunities of obtaining much knowledge of your _unique_ and
+interesting country:--knowledge that will be useful to me all the
+remainder of my life, and that I could not so well have acquired in my
+real character."
+
+He then explained, that being tired of travelling in Europe, and having
+an earnest desire to see America thoroughly, and more particularly to
+become acquainted with the state of society among the middle classes
+(always the truest samples of national character), he had, on taking his
+passage in one of the Liverpool packets, given his name as Smith, and
+put on the appearance of a man in very common life, resolving to
+preserve his incognito as long as he could. His object being to observe
+and to listen, and fearing that if he talked much he might inadvertently
+betray himself, he endeavoured to acquire a habit of taciturnity. As is
+frequently the case, he rather overdid his assumed character: and was
+much amused at perceiving himself rated somewhat below mediocrity, and
+regarded as poor Mr. Smith.
+
+"But where is that Baron fellow?" said Mrs. Quimby; "I dare say he has
+sneaked off and taken the railroad himself, while we were all busy about
+Lord Smith."
+
+"He has--he has!" sobbed Miss Bentley; who in spite of her grief and
+mortification, had joined the group that surrounded the English
+nobleman; "and he has run away with my beautiful diamond ring."
+
+"Did he steal it from your finger?" asked Aunt Quimby, eagerly; "because
+if he did, you can send a constable after him."
+
+"I shall do no such thing," replied Matilda, tartly; then turning to her
+mother she added, "It was when we first went to walk by the river side.
+He took my hand and kissed it, and proposed exchanging rings--and so I
+let him have it--and he said he did not happen to have any ring of his
+own about him, but he would give me a magnificent one that had been
+presented to him by some emperor or king."
+
+"Now I think of it," exclaimed Mrs. Bentley, "he never gave me back my
+gold essence-bottle with the emerald stopper."
+
+"Now I remember," said Miss Turretville, "he did not return me the
+beautiful fan he took out of my hand the other evening at Mrs. De
+Mingle's. And I doubt also if he restored her diamond opera glass to the
+Princess of Saxe Blinkinberg."
+
+"The Princess of Saxe Fiddlestick!" exclaimed Aunt Quimby; "do you
+suppose he ever really had anything to do with such people? Between
+ourselves, I thought it was all fudge the whole time he was trying to
+make us believe he was hand and glove with women that had crowns on
+their heads, and men with diamond coats, and kings that shot peach
+stones. The more he talked, the more he looked like Jacob Stimbel--I'm
+not apt to forget people, so it would be strange if I did not remember
+our Jake; and I never saw a greater likeness."
+
+"Well, for my part," said Miss Turretville, candidly, "I really _did_
+think he had serfs, and a castle with ramparts, and I did believe in the
+banditti, and the captain just like Charles De Moor. And I grieved, as I
+often do, that here, in America, we had no such things."
+
+"Pity we should!" remarked Aunt Quimby.
+
+To be brief: the Bentleys, after what had passed, thought it best to
+order their carriage and return to the city: and on their ride home
+there was much recrimination between the lady and her eldest daughter;
+Matilda declaring, that she would never have thought of encouraging the
+addresses of such an ugly fellow as the baron, had not her mother first
+put it into her head. And as to the projected elopement, she felt very
+certain of being forgiven for that as soon as she came out a baroness.
+
+After the departure of the Bentleys, and when the excitement, caused by
+the events immediately preceding it, had somewhat subsided, it was
+proposed that the dancing should be resumed, and Lord Huntingford opened
+the ball with Mrs. Cheston, and proved that he could dance, and talk,
+and look extremely well. As soon as she was disengaged, he solicited
+Myrtilla's hand for the nest set, and she smilingly assented to his
+request. Before they began, Aunt Quimby took an opportunity of saying to
+her: "Well, Myrtilla; after all you are going to exhibit yourself, as
+you call it, with Mr. Smith."
+
+"Oh! Aunt Quimby, you must not remember anything that was said about him
+while he was incog--"
+
+"Yes, and now he's out of cog it's thought quite an honour to get a word
+or a look from him. Well--well--whether as poor simple Mr. Smith, or a
+great lord that owns whole tin mines, he'll always find _me_ exactly the
+same; now I've got over the first flurry of his being found out."
+
+"I have no doubt of that, Aunt Quimby," replied Myrtilla, giving her
+hand to Lord Huntingford, who just then came up to lead her to the
+dance.
+
+The afternoon passed rapidly away, with infinite enjoyment to the whole
+company; all of whom seemed to feel relieved by the absence of the Blake
+Bentley party. Aunt Quimby was very assiduous in volunteering to
+introduce ladies to Lord Smith, as she called him, and chaperoned him
+more than ever.
+
+The Chestons, perfectly aware that if Mrs. Quimby returned to
+Philadelphia, and proceeded to Baltimore under the escort of Mr. Smith,
+she would publish all along the road that he was a lord, and perhaps
+convert into annoyance the amusement he seemed to find in her entire
+want of tact, persuaded her to defer the Baltimore journey and pass a
+few days with them; promising to provide her with an escort there, in
+the person of an old gentleman of their neighbourhood, who was going to
+the south early next week; and whom they knew to be one of the mildest
+men in the world, and never incommoded by anything.
+
+When the fête was over, Lord Huntingford returned to the city with his
+friend, the ex-minister. At parting, he warmly expressed his delight at
+having had an opportunity of becoming acquainted with Captain Cheston
+and his ladies; and Aunt Quimby exclaimed, "It's all owing to me--if it
+had not been for me you might never have known them; I always had the
+character of bringing good luck to people: so it's no wonder I'm so
+welcome everywhere."
+
+On Captain Cheston's next visit to Philadelphia, he gathered that the
+fictitious Baron Von Klingenberg was really the reprobate son of Jacob
+Stimbel of Lancaster, and had been recognised as such by a gentleman
+from that place. That he had many years before gone to seek his fortune
+in Europe, with the wreck of some property left him by his father; where
+(as Lord Huntingford had stated) he had last been seen in London in the
+capacity of a valet to a German nobleman; and that now he had departed
+for the west, with the design, as was supposed, of gambling his way to
+New Orleans. Nothing could exceed the delight of Aunt Quimby on finding
+her impression of him so well corroborated.
+
+The old lady went to Baltimore, and found herself so happy with her dear
+crony Mrs. Bagnell, that she concluded to take up her permanent
+residence with her on the same terms on which she lived at her
+son-in-law Billy Fairfowl's, whose large family of children had, to say
+the truth, latterly caused her some inconvenience by their number and
+their noise; particularly as one of the girls was growing up so like her
+grandmother, as to out-talk her. Aunt Quimby's removal from Philadelphia
+to Baltimore was, of course, a sensible relief to the Chestons.
+
+Lord Huntingford (relinquishing the name and character of Mr. Smith)
+devoted two years to making the tour of the United States, including a
+visit to Canada; justly believing that he could not in less time
+accomplish his object of becoming _well_ acquainted with the country and
+the people. On his return through the Atlantic cities, he met with
+Captain Cheston at Norfolk, where he had just brought in his ship from a
+cruise in the Pacific. Both gentlemen were glad to renew their
+acquaintance; and they travelled together to Philadelphia, where they
+found Mrs. Cheston and Myrtilla waiting to meet the captain.
+
+Lord Huntingford became a constant visitor at the house of the Chestons.
+He found Myrtilla improved in beauty, and as he thought in everything
+else, and he felt that in all his travels through Europe and America,
+he had met with no woman so well calculated to insure his happiness in
+married life. The sister of Captain Cheston was too good a republican to
+marry a foreigner and a nobleman, merely on account of his rank and
+title: but Lord Huntingford, as a man of sense, feeling, and unblemished
+morality, was one of the best specimens of his class, and after an
+intimate acquaintance of two months, she consented to become his
+countess. They were married a few days before their departure for
+England, where Captain and Mrs. Cheston promised to make them a visit
+the ensuing spring.
+
+Emily Atwood and Mr. Symmington were bridesmaid and groomsman, and were
+themselves united the following month. Miss Turretville made a very
+advantageous match, and has settled down into a rational woman and a
+first-rate housewife. The Miss Bentleys are all single yet; but their
+mother is married to an Italian singer, who is dissipating her property
+as fast as he can, and treating her ill all the time.
+
+While in Philadelphia, Lord Huntingford did not forget to visit
+occasionally his early acquaintance, Mr. William Fairfowl (who always
+received him as if he was still Mr. Smith), and on leaving the city he
+presented an elegant little souvenir to Mrs. Fairfowl, and one to each
+of her daughters.
+
+At Lord Huntingford's desire, Mrs. Quimby was invited from Baltimore to
+be present at his wedding (though the company was small and select), and
+she did honour to the occasion by wearing an entirely new gown and cap,
+telling the cost of them to every person in the room, but declaring she
+did not grudge it in the least; and assuming to herself the entire
+credit of the match, which she averred never would have taken place if
+she had not happened to come up the river, instead of going down.
+
+The events connected with the picnic day, had certainly one singular
+effect on Aunt Quimby, who from that time protested that she always
+thought of a nobleman whenever she heard the name of Smith.
+
+Could all our readers give in their experience of the numerous Smiths
+they must have known and heard of, would not many be found who, though
+bearing that trite appellation, were noblemen of nature's own making?
+
+
+
+
+UNCLE PHILIP.
+
+     "Out spake that ancient mariner."--COLERIDGE.
+
+
+We will not be particular in designating the exact site of the
+flourishing village of Corinth; neither would we advise any of our
+readers to take the trouble of seeking it on the map. It is sufficient
+to tell them that they may consider it located on one of the banks of
+the Hudson, somewhere above the city of New York, and somewhere below
+that of Albany; and that, more than twenty years ago, the Clavering
+family occupied one of the best houses at its southern extremity.
+
+Mrs. Clavering was the widow of a storekeeper, who had always, by
+courtesy, been called a merchant, according to a prevailing custom in
+the provincial towns of America. Her husband had left her in affluent
+circumstances, and to each of her five children he had bequeathed a
+sufficient portion to furnish, when they came of age, an outfit for the
+girls and a beginning for the boys. Added to this, they had considerable
+expectations from an uncle of their mother's, a retired sea-captain, and
+a confirmed old bachelor, who had long been in the practice of paying
+the family an annual visit on returning from his India voyages. He had
+become so much attached to the children, that when he quitted the sea
+(which was soon after the death of Mr. Clavering) he had, at the request
+of his niece, removed to Corinth, and taken up his residence in her
+family.
+
+Though so far from his beloved element, the ocean, Captain Kentledge
+managed to pass his time very contentedly, taking occasional trips down
+the river to New York (particularly when a new ship was to be launched),
+and performing, every summer, an excursion to the eastward: keeping
+closely along the coast, and visiting in turn every maritime town and
+village from Newport to Portland; never omitting to diverge off to
+Nantucket, which was his native place, and from whence, when a boy, he
+had taken his first voyage in a whale ship.
+
+Uncle Philip (for so Captain Kentledge was familiarly called by Mrs.
+Clavering and her children) was a square-built man, with a broad
+weather-beaten face, and features the reverse of classical. His head was
+entirely bald, with the exception of two rough side-locks, and a long
+thin gray tress of hair, gathered into a queue, and secured with black
+ribbon. Uncle Philip was very tenacious of his queue.
+
+Like most seamen when on shore, he was singularly neat in his dress. He
+wore, all the year round, a huge blue coat, immense blue trowsers, and a
+white waistcoat of ample dimensions, the whole suit being decorated with
+gold buttons; for, as he observed, he had, in the course of his life,
+worn enough of brass buttons to be heartily tired of them: gilt ones he
+hated, because they were shams; and gold he could very well afford, and
+therefore it was his pleasure to have them. His cravat was a large black
+silk handkerchief, tied in front, with a spreading bow and long ends.
+His shirt frill was particularly conspicuous and amazingly broad, and it
+was fastened with a large oval-shaped brooch, containing under its glass
+a handsome hair-coloured device of Hope leaning on an anchor. He never
+wore boots, but always white stockings and well-blacked long-quartered
+shoes. His hat had both a wide crown and a wide brim. Every part of his
+dress was good in quality and large in quantity, denoting that he was
+above economizing in the material.
+
+Though "every inch a sailor," it must not be supposed that Captain
+Kentledge was in the constant habit of interlarding his conversation
+with sea-terms; a practice which, if it ever actually prevailed to the
+extent that has been represented in fictitious delineations of "the sons
+of the wild and warring wave," has long since been discontinued in real
+life, by all nautical men who have any pretensions to the title of
+gentlemen. A sea-captain, whose only phraseology was that of the
+forecastle, and who could talk of nothing without reference to the
+technical terms of his profession, would now be considered as obsolete a
+character "as the Lieutenant Bowlings and Commodore Trunnions of the
+last century."
+
+Next to the children of his niece, the object most beloved by Uncle
+Philip was an enormous Newfoundland dog, the companion of his last
+voyages, and his constant attendant on land and on water, in doors and
+out of doors. In the faces of Neptune and his master there was an
+obvious resemblance, which a physiognomist would have deduced from the
+similarity of their characters; and it was remarked by one of the wags
+of the village that the two animals walked exactly alike, and held out
+their paws to strangers precisely in the same manner.
+
+Mrs. Clavering, as is generally the case with mothers of the present
+day, when they consider themselves very genteel, intended one of her
+sons for the profession of physic, and the other for that of law. But in
+the mean time, Uncle Philip had so deeply imbued Sam, the eldest, with a
+predilection for the sea, that the boy's sole ambition was to unite
+himself to that hardy race, "whose march is o'er the mountain-waves,
+whose home is on the deep." And Dick, whom his mother designed for a
+lawyer, intended himself for a carpenter: his genius pointing decidedly
+to hand-work rather than to head-work. It was Uncle Philip's opinion
+that boys should never be controlled in the choice of a profession. Yet
+he found it difficult to convince Mrs. Clavering that there was little
+chance of one of her sons filling a professor's chair at a medical
+college, or of the other arriving at the rank of chief justice; but that
+as the laws of nature and the decrees of fate were not to be reversed,
+Dick would very probably build the ships that Sam would navigate.
+
+About three months before the period at which our story commences, Uncle
+Philip had set out on his usual summer excursion, and had taken with him
+not only Neptune, but Sam also, leaving Dick very much engaged in making
+a new kitchen-table with a drawer at each end. After the travellers had
+gone as far as the State of Maine, and were supposed to be on their
+return, Mrs. Clavering was surprised to receive a letter from Uncle
+Philip, dated "Off Cape Cod, lat. 42, lon. 60, wind N.N.E." The
+following were the words of this epistle:--
+
+     "DEAR NIECE KITTY CLAVERING: I take this opportunity of informing
+     you, by a fishing-boat that is just going into the harbour, that
+     being on Long Wharf, Boston, yesterday at 7 A. M., and finding
+     there the schooner Winthrop about to sail for Cuba, and the
+     schooner being commanded by a son of my old ship-mate, Ben
+     Binnacle, and thinking it quite time that Sam should begin to see
+     the world (as he was fifteen the first of last April), and that so
+     good an opportunity should not be lost, I concluded to let him have
+     a taste of the sea by giving him a run down to the West Indies. Sam
+     was naturally very glad, and so was Neptune; and Sam being under my
+     care, I, of course, felt in duty bound to go along with him. The
+     schooner Winthrop is as fine a sea-boat as ever swam, and young Ben
+     Binnacle is as clever a fellow as his father. We are very well off
+     for hands, the crew being young Ben's brother and three of his
+     cousins (all from Marblehead, and all part owners), besides Sam and
+     myself, and Neptune, and black Bob, the cabin-boy. So you have
+     nothing to fear. And even if we should have a long passage, there
+     is no danger of our starving, for most of the cargo is pork and
+     onions, and the rest is turkeys, potatoes, flour, butter, and
+     cheese.
+
+     "You may calculate on finding Sam greatly improved by the voyage.
+     Going to sea will cure him of all his awkward tricks, as you call
+     them, and give him an opportunity of showing what he really is. He
+     went out of Boston harbour perched on the end of the foresail boom,
+     and was at the mainmast head before we had cleared the light-house.
+     To-morrow I shall teach him to take an observation. Young Ben
+     Binnacle has an excellent quadrant that was his father's. We shall
+     be back in a few weeks, and bring you pine-apples and parrots.
+     Shall write from Havana, if I have time.
+
+     "Till then, yours,
+
+     "PHILIP KENTLEDGE.
+
+     "P. S. Neptune is very happy at finding himself at sea again. Give
+     our love to Dick and the girls.
+
+     "N. B. We took care to have our trunk brought on board before we
+     got under way. Though we have a stiff breeze, Sam is not yet
+     sea-sick, having set his face against it.
+
+     "2d P. S. Don't take advantage of my absence to put the girls in
+     corsets, as you did when I was away last summer.
+
+     "2d N. B. Remember to send old Tom Tarpaulin his weekly allowance
+     of tobacco all the time I am gone. You know I promised, when I
+     first found him at Corinth, to keep him in tobacco as long as he
+     lived; and if you forget to furnish it punctually, the poor fellow
+     will be obliged to take his own money to buy it with."
+
+This elopement, as Mrs. Clavering called it, caused at first great
+consternation in the family, but she soon consoled herself with the idea
+that 'twas well it was no worse, for if Uncle Philip had found a vessel
+going to China, commanded by an old ship-mate, or a ship-mate's son, he
+would scarcely have hesitated to have acted as he had done in this
+instance. The two younger girls grieved that in all probability Sam had
+gone without gingerbread, which, they had heard, was a preventive to
+sea-sickness; but Fanny, the elder, remarked that it was more probable
+he had his pockets full, as, from Uncle Philip's account, he continued
+perfectly well. "Whatever Uncle Philip may say," observed Fanny, very
+judiciously, "Sam must, of course, have known that gingerbread is a more
+certain remedy for sea-sickness than merely setting one's face against
+it." Dick's chief regret was, that not knowing beforehand of their trip
+to the West Indies, he had lost the opportunity of sending by them for
+some mahogany.
+
+In about four weeks, the Clavering family was set at ease by a letter
+from Sam himself, dated Havana. It detailed at full length the delights
+of the voyage, and the various qualifications of black Bob, the
+cabin-boy, and it was finished by two postscripts from Uncle Philip; one
+celebrating the rapid progress of Sam in nautical knowledge, and another
+stating that they should return in the schooner Winthrop.
+
+They did return--Uncle Philip bringing with him, among other West India
+productions, a barrel of pine-apples for Mrs. Clavering, and three
+parrots, one for each of his young nieces; to all of whom he observed
+the strictest impartiality in distributing his favours. Also, a large
+box for Dick, filled with numerous specimens of tropical woods.
+
+It was evening when they arrived at Corinth, and they walked up directly
+from the steamboat wharf to Mrs. Clavering's house; leaving their
+baggage to follow in a cart. Intending to give the family a pleasant
+surprise, they stole cautiously in at the gate, and walked on the grass
+to avoid making a noise with their shoes on the gravel. As usual at this
+hour, a light shone through the Venetian shutters of the
+parlour-windows. But our voyagers listened in vain for the well-known
+sounds of noisy mirth excited by the enjoyment of various little games
+and plays in which it was usual for the children to pass the interval
+between tea and bed-time; a laudable custom, instituted by Uncle Philip
+soon after he became one of the family.
+
+"I hope all may be right," whispered the old captain, as he ascended
+the steps of the front porch, "I don't hear the least sound."
+
+They sat down the three parrot-cages, which they had carried themselves
+from the wharf, and then went up to the windows and reconnoitered
+through the shutters. They saw the whole family seated round the table,
+busily employed with books and writing materials, and all perfectly
+silent. Uncle Philip now hastily threw open the front door, and,
+followed by Sam, made his appearance in the parlour, exclaiming--
+
+"Why, what is all this? Not hearing any noise as we came along, we
+concluded there must be sickness, or death in the house."
+
+"We are not dead yet," said Dick, starting up, "though we are learning
+French."
+
+In an instant the books were abandoned, the table nearly overset in
+getting from behind it, and the whole group hung round the voyagers,
+delighted at their return, and overwhelming them with questions and
+caresses. In a moment there came prancing into the room the dog Neptune,
+who had remained behind to guard the baggage-cart, which had now arrived
+at the front gate. The faithful animal was literally received with open
+arms by all the children, and when he had nearly demolished little Anne
+by the roughness of his gambols, she only exclaimed--"Oh! never
+mind--never mind. I am so glad to have Neptune back again, that I don't
+care, if he _does_ tear my new pink frock all to tatters."
+
+Mrs. Clavering made a faint attempt at reproaching Uncle Philip for thus
+stealing a march and carrying off her son, but the old captain turned it
+all into a subject of merriment, and pointed out to her Sam's ruddy
+looks and improved height; and his good fortune in having a brown skin,
+which, on being exposed to the air and sun of the ocean, only deepened
+its manly tint, instead of being disfigured by freckles. On Mrs.
+Clavering remarking that her poor boy had learnt the true balancing gait
+of a sailor, the uncle and nephew exchanged glances of congratulation;
+and Sam, in the course of the evening, took frequent occasions to get up
+and walk across the room, by way of displaying this new accomplishment.
+
+As Mrs. Clavering understood that her uncle and son had not yet had
+their supper, she quitted the room "on hospitable thoughts intent,"
+while the children were listening with breathless interest to a minute
+detail of the voyage; Sam leaning over the back of his uncle's great
+chair, into which Fanny had squeezed herself beside the old gentleman,
+who held Jane on one knee and Anne on the other; and Dick making a seat
+of the dog Neptune, who lay at his master's feet.
+
+"Who are those people talking in the porch?" asked little Anne,
+interrupting her uncle to listen to the strange sounds that issued from
+without.
+
+"Oh! they are the parrots," said Sam, laughing, "I wonder they should
+have been forgotten so long."
+
+"Parrots!" exclaimed all the children at once, and in a moment every one
+of the young people were out in the porch, and the cages were carried
+into the parlour. The parrots were duly admired, and made to go through
+all their phrases, of which (being very smart parrots) they had learnt
+an infinite variety, and Uncle Philip told the girls to draw lots for
+the first choice of these new pets. Dick supplying for that purpose
+little sticks of unequal lengths. After this the box of tropical woods
+was opened, and Dick's happiness became too great for utterance.
+
+Supper was now brought in, and placed by Mrs. Clavering's order on a
+little table in the corner, it not being worth while, as she said, to
+remove the books and writing apparatus from the centre-table, as the
+lessons must be shortly resumed.
+
+"What lessons are these," said Uncle Philip, "on which you seem so
+intent? Before I went away there was no lesson-learning of evenings.
+Have Mr. Fulmer and Miss Hickman adopted a new plan? I think, children,
+I have heard you say that your lessons were very short, and that you
+always learned them in school, which was one reason, why I approved of
+Mr. Fulmer for the boys, and Miss Hickman for the girls. I never could
+bear the idea of poor children being forced to spend their play-time in
+learning lessons. The school hours are long enough in all conscience."
+
+"Oh--we don't go to Miss Hickman now," exclaimed the girls:--"And I
+don't go any longer to Mr. Fulmer," cried Dick, with something like a
+sigh.
+
+"And where do you go, then?" inquired Uncle Philip.
+
+"We go to Monsieur and Madame Franchimeau's French Study," replied Dick.
+"He teaches the boys, and she the girls--and our lessons are so long
+that it takes us the whole evening to learn them, and write our
+exercises. We are kept in school from eight in the morning till three in
+the afternoon. And then at four we go back again, and stay till dusk,
+trying to read and talk French with Monsieur and Madame Ravigote, the
+father and mother of Madame Franchimeau."
+
+"What's all this?" said Uncle Philip, laying down his knife and fork.
+
+Mrs. Clavering, after silencing Dick with a significant look, proceeded
+to explain--
+
+"Why, uncle," said she, "you must know that immediately after you left
+us, there came to Corinth a very elegant French family, and their
+purpose was to establish an Institute, or Study, as they now call it, in
+which, according to the last new system of education, everything is to
+be learnt in French. Mrs. Apesley, Mrs. Nedging, Mrs. Pinxton, Mrs.
+Slimbridge and myself, with others of the leading ladies of Corinth, had
+long wished for such an opportunity of having our children properly
+instructed, and we all determined to avail ourselves of it. We called
+immediately on the French ladies, who are very superior women, and we
+resolved at once to bring them into fashion by showing them every
+possible attention. We understood, also, that before Monsieur
+Franchimeau and his family came to Corinth, they had been on the other
+side of the river, and had visited Tusculum with a view of locating
+themselves in that village. But these polished and talented strangers
+were not in the least appreciated by the Tusculans, who are certainly a
+coarse and vulgar people; and therefore it became the duty of us
+Corinthians to prove to them our superiority in gentility and
+refinement."
+
+"I thought as much," said Uncle Philip; "I knew it would come out this
+way. So the Corinthians are learning French out of spite to the
+Tusculans. And I suppose, when these Monsieurs and Madames have done
+making fools of the people of this village, they will move higher up the
+river, and monkeyfy all before them between this and Albany. For, of
+course, the Hyde Parkers will learn French to spite the New Paltzers,
+and the Hudsonians to spite the Athenians, and the Kinderhookers to
+spite the--"
+
+"Now, uncle, do hush," said Mrs. Clavering, interrupting him; "how can
+you make a jest of a thing from which we expect to derive so much
+benefit?"
+
+"I am not jesting at all," replied Uncle Philip; "I fear it is a thing
+too serious to laugh at. But why do you say _we_? I hope, Kitty
+Clavering, _you_ are not making a fool of yourself, and turning
+school-girl again?"
+
+"I certainly do take lessons in French," replied Mrs. Clavering. "Mrs.
+Apesley, Mrs. Nedging, Mrs. Pinxton, Mrs. Slimbridge and myself, have
+formed a class for that purpose."
+
+"Mrs. Apesley has eleven children," said Uncle Philip.
+
+"Yes," replied Mrs. Clavering, "but the youngest is more than two years
+old. And Mrs. Nedging has only three."
+
+"True," observed the uncle; "one of them is an idiot boy that can
+neither hear, speak, nor use any of his limbs; the others are a couple
+of twin babies, that were only two months old when I went away."
+
+"But they are remarkably good babies," answered Mrs. Clavering, "and can
+bear very well to have their mother out of their sight."
+
+"And Mrs. Pinxton," said Uncle Philip, "has, ever since the death of her
+husband, presided over a large hotel, which, if properly attended to,
+ought to furnish her with employment for eighteen hours out of the
+twenty-four."
+
+"Oh! but she has an excellent barkeeper," replied Mrs. Clavering, "and
+she has lately got a cook from New York, to whom she gives thirty
+dollars a month, and she has promoted her head-chambermaid to the rank
+of housekeeper. Mrs. Pinxton herself is no longer to be seen going
+through the house as she formerly did. You would not suppose that there
+was any mistress belonging to the establishment."
+
+"So much the worse," said Uncle Philip, "both for the mistress and the
+establishment. Well, and let me ask, if Mrs. Slimbridge's husband has
+recovered his health during my absence?"
+
+"Oh! no, he is worse than ever," replied Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"And still," resumed Uncle Philip, "with an invalid husband, who
+requires her constant care and attention, Mrs. Slimbridge can find it in
+her heart to neglect him, and waste her time in taking lessons that she
+may learn to read French (though I am told their books are all about
+nothing), and to talk French, though I cannot for my life see who she is
+to talk to."
+
+"There is no telling what advantage she may not derive from it in future
+life," remarked Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"I can tell her one thing," said Uncle Philip, "when poor Slimbridge
+dies, her French will never help her to a second husband. No man ever
+married a woman because she had learnt French."
+
+"Indeed, uncle," replied Mrs. Clavering, "your prejudices against
+everything foreign are so strong, that it is in vain for me to oppose
+them. To-night, at least, I shall not say another word on the subject."
+
+"Well, well, Kitty," said Uncle Philip, shaking her kindly by the hand,
+"we'll talk no more about it to-night, and perhaps, as you say, I ought
+to have more patience with foreigners, seeing that, as no man can choose
+his own birth-place, it is not to be expected that everybody can be born
+in America. And those that are not, are certainly objects of pity rather
+than of blame."
+
+"Very right, uncle," exclaimed Sam; "I am sure I pity all that are not
+Americans of the United States, particularly since I have been among the
+West Indian Spaniards."
+
+"Now, Kitty Clavering," said Uncle Philip, triumphantly, "you perceive
+the advantages of seeing the world: who says that Sam has not profited
+by his voyage?"
+
+The family separated for the night; and next morning Sam laughed at Dick
+for repeating his French verbs in his sleep. "No wonder," replied Dick,
+"if you knew how many verbs I have to learn every day, and how much
+difficulty I have in getting them by heart, when I am all the time
+thinking of other things, you would not be surprised at my dreaming of
+them; as people are apt to do of whatever is their greatest affliction."
+
+At breakfast, the conversation of the preceding evening was renewed, by
+Mrs. Clavering observing with much complacency,
+
+"Monsieur Franchimeau will be very happy to find that I have a new
+scholar for him."
+
+"Indeed!" said Uncle Philip; "and who else have you been pressing into
+the service?"
+
+"My son Sam, certainly," replied Mrs. Clavering. "I promised him to Mr.
+Franchimeau, and he of course has been expecting to have him immediately
+on his return from the West Indies. Undoubtedly, Sam must be allowed the
+same advantages as his brother and sisters. Not to give him an equal
+opportunity of learning French would be unjust in the extreme."
+
+"Dear mother," replied Sam, "I am quite willing to put up with that much
+injustice."
+
+"Right, my boy," exclaimed Uncle Philip; "and when you have learnt
+everything else, it will then be quite time enough to begin French."
+
+"You misunderstand entirely," said Mrs. Clavering. "The children _are_
+learning everything else. But Mr. Franchimeau goes upon the new system,
+and teaches the whole in French and out of French books. His pupils, and
+those of Madame Franchimeau, learn history, geography, astronomy,
+botany, chemistry, mathematics, logic, criticism, composition, geology,
+mineralogy, conchology, and phrenology."
+
+"Mercy on their poor heads," exclaimed Uncle Philip, interrupting her:
+"They'll every one grow up idiots. All the sense they have will be
+crushed out of them, by this unnatural business of overloading their
+minds with five times as much as they can bear. And the whole of this is
+to be learned in a foreign tongue too. Well, what next? Are they also
+taught Latin and Greek in French? And now I speak of those two
+languages--that have caused so many aching heads and aching hearts to
+poor boys that never had the least occasion to turn them to any
+account--suppose that all the lectures at the Medical Colleges were
+delivered in Latin or Greek. How much, do you think, would the students
+profit by them? Pretty doctors we should have, if they learnt their
+business in that way. No, no; the branches you have mentioned are all
+hard enough in themselves, particularly that last ology about the bumps
+on people's heads. To get a thorough knowledge of any one of these arts
+or sciences, or whatever you call them, is work enough for a man's
+lifetime; and now the whole of them together are to be forced upon the
+weak understandings of poor innocent children, and in a foreign
+language, to boot. Shame on you--shame on you, Kitty Clavering!"
+
+"Uncle Philip," said Mrs. Clavering, smiling at his vehemence, for on
+such occasions she had always found it more prudent to smile than to
+frown, "you may say what you will now, but I foresee that you will
+finally become a convert to my views of this subject. I intend to make
+French the general language of the family, and in a short time you will
+soon catch it yourself. Why, though I cannot say much for his
+proficiency in his lessons, even Ric_har_[4] has picked up without
+intending it, a number of French phrases, that he pronounces quite well
+when I make him go over them with me."
+
+[Footnote 4: The French pronunciation of Richard.]
+
+"Ric_har_!" cried Uncle Philip, "and pray who is he? Who is Richar?"
+
+"That's me, uncle," said Dick.
+
+"So you have Frenchified Dick's name, have you!" said the old
+gentleman, "but I'm determined you shall not Frenchify Sam's."
+
+"No," observed Sam, "I'll not be Frenchified."
+
+"And pray, young ladies," resumed the uncle, "Fanny, Jenny, and Anny,
+have you too been put into French?"
+
+"Yes, uncle," replied Jane, "we are now Fanchette, Jeanette, and
+Annette."
+
+"So much the worse," said Uncle Philip. "Listen to me, when I tell you,
+that all this Frenchifying will come to no good; and I foresee that you
+may be sorry for it when it is too late. Of what use will it be to any
+of you? I have often heard that all French books worth reading are
+immediately done into English. And I never met with a French person
+worth knowing that had not learned to talk English."
+
+"Now, uncle," said Mrs. Clavering, "you are going quite too far. If our
+knowledge of French should not come into use while in our own country,
+who knows but some time or other we may all go to France."
+
+"I for one," replied Uncle Philip, "_I_ know that you will not; at
+least, you shall never go to France with my consent. No American woman
+goes to France, without coming home the worse for it in some way or
+other. There were the two Miss Facebys, who came up here last spring,
+fresh from a six months' foolery in Paris. I can see them now, ambling
+along in their short petticoats, with their hands clasped on their belt
+buckles, their mouths half open like idiots, and their eyes turned
+upwards like dying calves."
+
+Here Uncle Philip set the whole family to laughing, by starting from his
+chair and imitating the walk and manner of the Miss Facebys.
+
+"There," said he, resuming his seat, "I know that's exactly like them.
+Then did not they pretend to have nearly forgotten their own language,
+affecting to speak English imperfectly. And what was the end of them?
+One ran away with a dancing-master's mate, and the other got privately
+married to a fiddler."
+
+"But you must allow," said Mrs. Clavering, "that the Miss Facebys
+improved greatly in manner by their visit to France."
+
+"I know not what you call _manner_" replied Uncle Philip, "but I'm sure
+in _manners_ they did not. Manner and manners, I find, are very
+different things. And I was told by a gentleman, who had lived many
+years in France, that the Miss Facebys looked and behaved like French
+chambermaids, but not like French ladies. For my part, I am no judge of
+French women; but this I know, that American girls had better be like
+themselves, and not copy any foreign women whatever. And let them take
+care not to unfit themselves for American husbands. If they do, they'll
+lose more than they'll gain."
+
+"Well, Uncle Philip," said Mrs. Clavering, "I see it will take time to
+make a convert of you."
+
+"Don't depend on that," replied the old gentleman. "I, that for sixty
+years have stood out against all foreigners, particularly the French, am
+not likely to be taken in by them now."
+
+"We shall see," resumed Mrs. Clavering. "But are you really serious in
+prohibiting Sam from becoming a pupil of Mr. Franchimeau?"
+
+"Serious, to be sure I am," replied Uncle Philip. "Of what use can it be
+to him, if he follows the sea, as of course he will?"
+
+"Of great use," answered Mrs. Clavering, "if he should be in the French
+trade."
+
+"I look forward to his being in the India trade," said Uncle Philip,
+proudly.
+
+"But suppose, uncle," said Fanny, "he should happen to have French
+sailors on board his ship?"
+
+"French sailors! French!" exclaimed Uncle Philip; "for what purpose
+should he ship a Frenchman as a sailor? Why, I was once all over a
+French frigate that came into New York, and she was a pretty thing
+enough to look at outside. But when you got on board and went between
+decks, I never saw so dirty a ship. However, I won't go too far--I won't
+say that all French frigates are like this one, or all French sailors
+like those. Besides, this was many years ago, and, perhaps, they've
+improved since."
+
+"No doubt of it," said Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"Well," pursued Uncle Philip, "I only tell you what I saw."
+
+"But, not knowing their language, you must have misunderstood a great
+deal that you saw," observed Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"The first-lieutenant spoke English," said Uncle Philip, "and he showed
+me the ship; and, to do him justice, he was a very clever fellow, for
+all he was a Frenchman. There must certainly be _some_ good ones among
+them. Yes, yes--I have not a word to say against that first-lieutenant.
+But I wish you had seen the men that we found between decks. Some were
+tinkling on a sort of guitars, and some were tooting on a kind of
+flutes, and some were scraping on wretched fiddles. Some had little
+paint-boxes, and were drawing watch-papers, with loves and doves on
+them; some were sipping lemonade, and some were eating sugar-candy; and
+one (whom I suspected to have been originally a barber), was combing and
+curling a lapdog. It was really sickening to see sailors making such
+fools of themselves. By the bye, I did not see a tolerable dog about the
+ship. There was no fine Newfoundlander like my gallant Neptune (come
+here, old fellow), but there were half a dozen short-legged,
+long-bodied, red-eyed, tangle-haired wretches, meant for poodles, but
+not even half so good. And some of the men were petting huge cats, and
+some were feeding little birds in cages."
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Clavering, "I see no harm in all this--only an
+evidence that the general refinement of the French nation pervades all
+ranks of society. Is it not better to eat sugar-candy than to chew
+tobacco, and to sip lemonade than to drink grog?"
+
+"And then," continued Uncle Philip, "to hear the names by which the
+fellows were calling each other, for their tongues were all going the
+whole time as fast as they could chatter. There were Lindor and Isidore,
+and Adolphe and Emile. I don't believe there was a Jack or a Tom in the
+whole ship. I was so diverted with their names, that I made the
+first-lieutenant repeat them to me, and I wrote them down in my
+pocket-book. A very gentlemanly man was that first-lieutenant. But as to
+the sailors--why, there was one fellow sprawling on a gun (I suppose I
+should say reclining), and talking to himself about his amiable Pauline,
+which, I suppose, is the French for Poll. When we went into the
+gun-room, there was the gunner sitting on a chest, and reading some
+love-verses of his own writing, addressed to his belle Celestine, which,
+doubtless, is the French for Sall. Think of a sailor pretending to have
+a belle for his sweetheart! The first-lieutenant told me that the gunner
+was the best poet in the ship. I must say, I think very well of that
+first-lieutenant. There were half a dozen boys crowding round the gunner
+(or forming a group, as, I suppose, you would call it), and looking up
+to his face with admiration; and one great fool was kneeling behind him,
+and holding over his head a wreath of some sort of green leaves,
+waiting to crown him when he had done reading his verses."
+
+"Well," observed Mrs. Clavering, "I have no doubt the whole scene had a
+very pretty effect."
+
+"Pshaw," said Uncle Philip. "When I came on deck again, there was the
+boatswain's mate, who was also the ship's dancing-master (for a
+Frenchman can turn his hand to anything, provided it's foolery), and he
+was giving a lesson to two dozen dirty fellows with bare feet and red
+woollen caps, and taking them by their huge tarry hands, and bidding
+them _chassez_ here, and _balancez_ there, and _promenade_ here, and
+_pirouette_ there. I was too angry to laugh, when I saw sailors making
+such baboons of themselves."
+
+"Now," remarked Mrs. Clavering, "it is an established fact, that without
+some knowledge of dancing, no one can move well, or have a graceful air
+and carriage. Why, then, should not sailors be allowed an opportunity of
+cultivating the graces as well as other people? Why should they be
+debarred from everything that savours of refinement?"
+
+"I am glad," said Uncle Philip, laughing, "that it never fell to my lot
+to go to sea with a crew of refined sailors. I think, I should have
+tried hard to whack their refinement out of them. Why the French
+first-lieutenant (who was certainly a very clever fellow), told me that,
+during the cruise, five or six seamen had nearly died of their
+sensibility, as he called it; having jumped overboard, because they
+could not bear the separation from their sweethearts."
+
+"Poor fellows," said Fanny, "and were they drowned?"
+
+"I asked that," replied Uncle Philip, "hoping that they were; but,
+unluckily for the service, they were all provided with sworn friends,
+who jumped heroically into the sea, and fished the lubbers out. And, no
+doubt, the whole scene had a very pretty effect."
+
+"How can you make a jest of such things?" said Mrs. Clavering,
+reproachfully.
+
+"Why, I am only repeating your own words," answered the old gentleman.
+"But, to speak seriously, this shows that French ships ought always to
+be furnished with Newfoundland dogs to send in after the lovers, and
+spare their friends the trouble of getting a wet jacket for them:--Come
+here, old Nep. Up, my fine fellow, up," patting the dog's head, while
+the enormous animal rested his fore-paws on his master's shoulders.
+
+Mrs. Clavering now reminded the children that it was considerably past
+their hour for going to school, but with one accord they petitioned for
+a holiday, as it was the first day of Uncle Philip's and Sam's return.
+
+"You know the penalty," said Mrs. Clavering; "you know that if you stay
+away from school, you will be put down to the bottom of the class."
+
+The children all declared their willingness to submit to this punishment
+rather than go to school that day.
+
+"Now, Kitty Clavering," said Uncle Philip, "you see plainly that their
+hearts are not in the French: and that it is all forced work with them.
+So I shall be regularly displeased, if you send the children to school
+to-day. They shall go with me to the cabin, and we will all spend the
+morning there."
+
+The cabin was a small wooden edifice planned by Uncle Philip, and
+erected by his own hands with the assistance of Sam and Dick. It stood
+on the verge of the river, where the bank took the form of a little cape
+or headland, which Uncle Philip called Point Lookout. On an eminence
+immediately above, was the house of Mrs. Clavering, from the front
+garden of which a green slope, planted with fruit-trees, descended
+gradually to the water's edge.
+
+The building (into which you went down by a flight of wooden steps
+inserted in the face of the hill), was as much as possible like the
+cabin of a ship. The ceiling was low, with a skylight near the centre,
+and the floor was not exactly level, there being a very visible slant to
+one side. At the back of this cabin was an imitation of transoms, above
+which was a row of small windows of four panes each, and when these
+windows were open, they were fastened up by brass hooks to the beams
+that supported the roof. In the middle of the room was a flag-staff,
+which went up through the centre of a table, and perforated the ceiling
+like the mizen-mast of a ship, and rose to a great height above the
+roof. From the top of this staff an American ensign, on Sundays and
+holidays, displayed its stars and stripes to the breeze. There was a
+range of lockers all round the room, containing in their recesses an
+infinite variety of marine curiosities that Uncle Philip had collected
+during his voyages, and also some very amusing specimens of Chinese
+patience and ingenuity. The walls were hung with charts, and ornamented
+with four coloured drawings that Captain Kentledge showed as the
+likenesses of four favourite ships, all of which he, had at different
+times commanded. These drawings were made by a young man that had
+sailed with him as mate; and to unpractised eyes all the four ships
+looked exactly alike; but Uncle Philip always took care to explain that
+the Columbia was sharpest at the bows, and the American roundest at the
+stern; that the United States had the tallest masts, and the Union the
+longest yards.
+
+An important appendage to the furniture of this singular room was a
+hanging-shelf, containing Captain Kentledge's library; and the books
+were the six octavo volumes of Cook's Voyages, and also the voyages of
+Scoresby, Ross and Parry, the Arabian Nights, Dibdin's Songs, Robinson
+Crusoe, and Cooper's Pilot, Red Rover, and Water Witch.
+
+This cabin was the stronghold of Uncle Philip, and the place where, with
+Sam and Neptune, he spent all his happiest hours. For here he could
+smoke his segars in peace, and chew his tobacco without being obliged to
+watch an opportunity of slipping it privately into his mouth. But as
+Mrs. Clavering had particularly desired that he would not initiate Sam
+into the use of "the Indian weed," he had promised to refrain from
+instructing him in this branch of a sailor's education; and being "an
+honourable man," Uncle Philip had faithfully kept his word.
+
+Dick (acknowledging that during his uncle's absence he had used the
+cabin as a workshop, and that it was now ankle-deep in chips and
+shavings), ran on before with a broom to sweep the litter into a corner.
+The whole group proceeded thither from the breakfast table, Uncle Philip
+wishing he had three hands that he might give one to each of the little
+girls; but as that was not the case, they drew lots to decide which
+should be contented to hold by the skirt of his coat, and the lot fell
+upon Fanny; the old gentleman leading Jane and Anne, while Sam and
+Neptune brought up the rear.
+
+Arrived at the cabin, Uncle Philip placed himself in his arm-chair; the
+girls sat round him sewing for their dolls; Sam took his slate and drew
+upon it all the different parts of the schooner Winthrop, of which (from
+his brother's description) Dick commenced making a minature model in
+wood; and Neptune mounted one of the transoms and looked out of the
+window.
+
+Things were going on very pleasantly, and Uncle Philip was in the midst
+of narrating the particulars of a violent storm they had encountered in
+the gulf of Florida, when Dick, casting his eyes towards the glass
+door, exclaimed, "the French are coming, the French are coming!"
+
+Uncle Philip testified much dissatisfaction at the intrusion of these
+unwelcome visitors, and Dick again fell to work with the broom. In a few
+minutes Mrs. Clavering entered the cabin, bringing with her Monsieur and
+Madame Franchimeau, and the _vieux_ papa, and _vieille_ mama,[5]
+Monsieur and Madame Ravigote.
+
+[Footnote 5: The old papa, and the old mamma.]
+
+Mr. Franchimeau was a clumsy, ill-made man, fierce-eyed,
+black-whiskered, and looking as if he might sit for the picture of
+"Abællino the Great Bandit." Madame Franchimeau was a large woman, with
+large features, and a figure that was very bad in dishabille, and very
+good in full dress. Her father and mother were remnants of the _ancien
+régime_, but the costume of the _vieux_ papa was not at all in the style
+of Blissett's Frenchman. His clothes were like those of other people,
+and instead of a powdered toupee and pigeon-wing side-curls, with a
+black silk bag behind, he wore a reddish scratch-wig that almost came
+down to his eyebrows. Why do very old men, when they wear wigs,
+generally prefer red ones? Madame Ravigote was a little withered,
+witch-like woman, with a skin resembling brown leather, which was set
+off by four scanty flaxen ringlets.
+
+Soon after breakfast, Mrs. Clavering had sent a message to "the French
+Study," implying the arrival of Captain Kentledge, and the consequent
+holiday of the children; and the Gauls had concluded it expedient to
+dismiss their school at twelve o'clock, and hasten to pay their
+compliments to the rich old uncle, of whom they had heard much since
+their residence at Corinth.
+
+When they were presented to Captain Kentledge, he was not at all
+prepossessed in favor of their appearance, and would have been much
+inclined to receive them coldly; but as he was now called upon to appear
+in the character of their host, he remembered the courtesy due to them
+as his guests, and he managed to do the honors of his cabin in a very
+commendable manner, considering that he said to himself, "for my own
+sake, I cannot be otherwise than civil to them; but I despise them,
+notwithstanding."
+
+There was much chattering that amounted to nothing; and much admiration
+of the cabin, by which, instead of pleasing Uncle Philip, they only
+incurred his farther contempt, by admiring always in the wrong place,
+and evincing an ignorance of ships that he thought unpardonable in
+people that had crossed the Atlantic. On Sam being introduced to them,
+there were many overstrained compliments on his beauty, and what they
+called his _air distingué_. Monsieur Franchimeau thought that _le jeune
+Sammi_[6] greatly resembled Mr. Irvine Voshintone, whom he had seen in
+Paris; but Monsieur Ravigote thought him more like the portrait of Sir
+Valter Scotch. Madame Franchimeau likened him to the head of the Apollo
+Belvidere, and Madame Ravigote to the Duke of Berry. But all agreed that
+he had a general resemblance to La Fayette, with a slight touch of Dr.
+Franklin. However these various similitudes might be intended as
+compliments, they afforded no gratification to Uncle Philip, whose
+secret opinion was, that if Sam looked like anybody, it was undoubtedly
+Paul Jones. And during this examination, Sam was not a little
+disconcerted at being seized by the shoulders and twirled round, and
+taken sometimes by the forehead and sometimes by the chin, that his face
+might be brought into the best light for discovering all its affinities.
+
+[Footnote 6: The young Sammy.]
+
+There was then an attempt at general conversation, the chief part of
+which was borne by the ladies, or rather by Madame Franchimeau, who
+thought in her duty to atone for the dogged taciturnity of her husband.
+Monsieur Franchimeau, unlike the generality of his countrymen, neither
+smiled, bowed, nor complimented. Having a great contempt for the manners
+of the _vieille cour_[7] and particularly for those of his
+father-in-law; he piqued himself on his _brusquerie_,[8] and his almost
+total disregard of _les bienséances_,[9] and set up _un esprit
+fort_:[10] but he took care to talk as little as possible, lest his
+claims to that character should be suspected.
+
+[Footnote 7: Old Court.]
+
+[Footnote 8: Bluntness, roughness.]
+
+[Footnote 9: Customs of polite society.]
+
+[Footnote 10: A person of strong mind, superior mind.]
+
+Uncle Philip, though he scorned to acknowledge it, was not in reality
+destitute of all comprehension of the French language, having picked up
+some little acquaintance with it from having, in the course of his
+wanderings, been at places where nothing else was spoken; and though
+determined on being displeased, he was amused, in spite of himself, at
+some of the tirades of Madame Franchimeau. Understanding that Monsieur
+Philippe (as much to his annoyance she called him) had just returned
+from the West Indies, she began to talk of Cape François, and the
+insurrection of the blacks, in which, she said, she had lost her first
+husband, Monsieur Mascaron. "By this terrible blow," said she, "I was
+_parfaitement abimé_,[11] and I refused all consolation till it was my
+felicity to inspire Monsieur Franchimeau with sentiments the most
+profound. But my heart will for ever preserve a tender recollection of
+my well-beloved Alphonse. Ah! my Alphonse--his manners were adorable.
+However, my regards are great for _mon ami_[12] Monsieur Franchimeau. It
+is true, he is _un pen brusque--c'est son caractère_.[13] But his heart
+is of a goodness that is really inconceivable. He performs the most
+charming actions, and with a generosity that is heroic. _Ah! mon
+ami_--you hear me speak of you--but permit me the sad consolation of
+shedding yet a few tears for my respectable Alphonse."
+
+[Footnote 11: Perfectly destroyed, plunged into an abyss of despair.]
+
+[Footnote 12: My friend, my dear].
+
+[Footnote 13: A little blunt--a little rough. It is his character.]
+
+Madame Franchimeau then entered into an animated detail of the death of
+her first husband, who was killed before her eyes by the negroes; and
+she dwelt upon every horrid particular, till she had worked herself into
+a passion of tears. Just then, Fanny Clavering (who had for that purpose
+been sent up to the house by her mother) arrived with a servant carrying
+a waiter of pine-apples, sugar and Madeira.
+
+Madame Franchimeau stopped in the midst of her tears, and exclaimed--"_Ah!
+des ananas--mon ami (to her husband)--maman--papa--voyez--voyez--des
+ananas._[14] Ah! my poorest Alphonse, great was his love for these--what
+you call them--apple de pine. He was just paring his apple de pine, when
+the detestable negroes rushed in and overset the table. _Ah! quel
+scène--une véritable tragédie!_[15] _Pardonnez_, Madame Colavering, I
+prefer a slice from the largest part of the fruit.--Ah! my amiable
+Alphonse--his blood flew all over my robe, which was of spotted Japan
+muslin. I wore that day a long sash of a broad ribbon of the colour of
+Aurore, fringed at both of its ends. When I was running away, he grasped
+it so hard that it came untied, and I left it in his hand.--May I beg
+the favour of some more sugar?--_Mon ami_, you always prefer the
+pine-apple bathed in Champagne."
+
+[Footnote 14: "Ah! pine-apples--my dear--(to her
+husband)--mamma--papa--see--see--pine-apples!"]
+
+[Footnote 15: Ah! what a scene--a real tragedy!]
+
+"Yes," replied Franchimeau, "it does me no good, unless each slice is
+soaked in some wine of fine quality." But Mrs. Clavering acknowledging
+that she had no Champagne in the house, Franchimeau gruffly replied,
+that "he supposed Madeira might do."
+
+Madame then continued her story and her pine-apple. "_Ah! mon bien-aimé
+Alphonse_,"[16] said she, "he had fourteen wounds--I will take another
+slice, if you please, Madame Colavering. There--there--a little more
+sugar. _Bien obligé_[17]--a little more still. _Maman, vous ne mangez
+pas de bon appetit. Ah! je comprens--vous voulez de la crème avec votre
+anana._[18]--Madame Colavering, will you do mamma the favour to have
+some cream brought for her? and I shall not refuse some for myself.
+Ah! _mon Alphonse_--the object of my first grand passion! He
+exhibited in dying some contortions that were hideous--_absolument
+effroyable_[19]--they are always present before my eyes--Madame
+Colavering, I would prefer those two under slices; they are the best
+penetrated with the sugar, and also well steeped in the _jus_."[20]
+
+[Footnote 16: My beloved Alphonse.]
+
+[Footnote 17: Much obliged to you.]
+
+[Footnote 18: Mamma, you do not eat with a good appetite. Ah! I
+understand--you wish for some cream with your pine-apple.]
+
+[Footnote 19: Absolutely frightful.]
+
+[Footnote 20: Juice.]
+
+The cream was procured, and the two Madames did it ample justice.
+Presently the youngest of the French ladies opened her eyes very wide,
+and exclaimed to her father, "_Mon cher papa, vous n' avez pas déjà
+fini?_"[21] "My good friend, Madame Colavering, you know, of course,
+that my papa cannot eat much fruit, unless it is accompanied by some
+_biscuit_--for instance, the cake you call sponge."
+
+[Footnote 21: My dear papa, you have not finished already?]
+
+"I was not aware of that," replied Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"_Est-il possible?_"[22] exclaimed the whole French family, looking at
+each other.
+
+[Footnote 22: Is it possible?]
+
+Mrs. Clavering then recollecting that there was some sponge-cake in the
+house, sent one of the children for it, and when it was brought, their
+French visiters all ate heartily of it; and she heard the _vieille
+maman_[23] saying to the _vieux papa_,[24] "_Eh, mon ami, ce petit
+collation vient fort à-propos, comme notre déjeûner était seulement un
+mauvais salade._"[25]
+
+[Footnote 23: Old mamma.]
+
+[Footnote 24: Old papa.]
+
+[Footnote 25: Eh! my dear, this little collation comes very seasonably,
+as our breakfast was nothing but a bad salad.]
+
+The collation over, Mrs. Clavering, by way of giving her guests an
+opportunity of saying something that would please Uncle Philip, patted
+old Neptune on the head, and asked them if they had ever seen a finer
+dog?
+
+"I will show you a finer," replied Madame Franchimeau; "see, I have
+brought with me my interesting _Bijou_"--and she called in an ugly
+little pug that had been scrambling about the cabin door ever since
+their arrival, and whose only qualification was that of painfully
+sitting up on his hind legs, and shaking his fore-paws in the fashion
+that is called begging. His mistress, with much importunity, prevailed
+on him to perform this elegant feat, and she then rewarded him with a
+saucer-full of cream, sugar, and sponge-cake. He was waspish and
+snappish, and snarled at Jane Clavering when she attempted to play with
+him; upon which Neptune, with one blow of his huge forefoot, brought the
+pug to the ground, and then stood motionless, looking up in Uncle
+Philip's face, with his paw on the neck of the sprawling animal, who
+kicked and yelped most piteously. This interference of the old
+Newfoundlander gave great offence to the French family, who all
+exclaimed, "_Quelle horreur! Quelle abomination! En effet c'est
+trop!_"[26]
+
+[Footnote 26: What horror! What abomination! It is really too much!]
+
+Uncle Philip could not help laughing; but Sam called off Neptune from
+Bijou, and set the fallen pug on his legs again, for which compassionate
+act he was complimented by the French ladies on his _bonté de
+coeur_,[27] and honoured at parting, with the title of _le doux
+Sammi_.[28]
+
+[Footnote 27: Goodness of heart.]
+
+[Footnote 28: The mild Sammy--the gentle Sammy.]
+
+"I'll never return this visit," said Uncle Philip, after the French
+guests had taken their leave.
+
+"Oh! but you _must_," replied Mrs. Clavering; "it was intended expressly
+for you--you _must_ return it, in common civility."
+
+"But," persisted Uncle Philip, "I wish them to understand that I don't
+intend to treat them with common civility. A pack of selfish,
+ridiculous, impudent fools. No, no. I am not so prejudiced as to believe
+that all French people are as bad as these--many of them, no doubt, if
+we could only find where they are, may be quite as clever as the first
+lieutenant of that frigate; but, to their shame be it spoken, the best
+of them seldom visit America, and our country is overrun with ignorant,
+vulgar impostors, who, unable to get their bread at home, come here full
+of lies and pretensions, and to them and their quackery must our
+children be intrusted, in the hope of acquiring a smattering of French
+jabber, and at the risk of losing everything else."
+
+"Don't you think Uncle Philip always talks best when he's in a passion?"
+observed Dick to Sam.
+
+After Mrs. Clavering had returned to the house, Dick informed his uncle
+that, a few days before, she had made a dinner for the whole French
+family; and Captain Kentledge congratulated himself and Sam on their not
+arriving sooner from their voyage. Dick had privately told his brother
+that the behaviour of the guests, on this occasion, had not given much
+satisfaction. Mrs. Clavering, it seems, had hired, to dress the dinner,
+a mulatto woman that professed great knowledge of French cookery, having
+lived at one of the best hotels in New York. But Monsieur Franchimeau
+had sneered at all the French dishes as soon as he tasted them, and
+pretended not to know their names, or for what they were intended;
+Monsieur Ravigote had shrugged and sighed, and the ladies had declined
+touching them at all, dining entirely on what (as Dick expressed it)
+they called roast beef de mutton and natural potatoes.[29]
+
+[Footnote 29: The vulgar French think that the English term for all
+sorts of roasted meat is _rosbif_--thus _rosbif de mouton--rosbif de
+porc_. Potatoes plainly boiled, with the skins on, are called, in
+France, _pommes de terre au naturel_.]
+
+It was not only his regard for the children that made Mrs. Clavering's
+French mania a source of great annoyance to Uncle Philip, but he soon
+found that much of the domestic comfort of the family was destroyed by
+this unaccountable freak, as he considered it. Mrs. Clavering was not
+young enough to be a very apt scholar, and so much of her time was
+occupied by learning her very long lessons, and writing her very long
+exercises, that her household duties were neglected in consequence. As
+in a provincial town it is difficult to obtain servants who can go on
+well without considerable attention from the mistress, the house was not
+kept in as nice order as formerly; the meals were at irregular hours,
+and no longer well prepared; the children's comfort was forgotten,
+their pleasures were not thought of, and the little girls grieved that
+no sweetmeats were to be made that season; their mother telling them
+that she had now no time to attend to such things. The children's
+story-books were taken from them, because they were now to read nothing
+but Telemaque; they were stopped short in the midst of their talk, and
+told to _parlez Français_.[30] Even the parrots heard so much of it
+that, in a short time, they prated nothing but French.
+
+[Footnote 30: Speak French.]
+
+Uncle Philip had put his positive veto on Sam's going to French school,
+and he insisted that little Anne had become pale and thin since she had
+been a pupil of the Franchimeaus. Mrs. Clavering, to pacify him,
+consented to withdraw the child from school; but only on condition that
+she was every day to receive a lesson at home, from old Mr. Ravigote.
+
+Anne Clavering was but five years old. As yet, no taste for French "had
+dawned upon her soul," and very little for English; her mind being
+constantly occupied with her doll, and other playthings. Monsieur
+Ravigote, with all the excitability of his nation, was, in the main, a
+very good-natured man, and was really anxious for the improvement of his
+pupil. But all was in vain. Little Anne never knew her lessons, and had
+as yet acquired no other French phrase than "_Oui, Monsieur_."[31]
+
+[Footnote 31: Yes, sir.]
+
+Every morning, Mr. Ravigote came with a face dressed in smiles, and
+earnest hope that his pupil was going that day to give him what he
+called "one grand satisfaction;" but the result was always the same.
+
+One morning, as Uncle Philip sat reading the newspaper, and holding
+little Anne on his knee while she dressed her doll, Mr. Ravigote came
+in, bowing and smiling as usual, and after saluting Captain Kentledge,
+he said to the little child: "Well, my dear little friend, _ma gentille
+Annette_,[32] I see by the look of your countenance that I shall have
+one grand satisfaction with you this day. Application is painted on your
+visage, and docility also. Is there not, _ma chère_?"[33]
+
+[Footnote 32: My pretty Annette.]
+
+[Footnote 33: My dear.]
+
+"_Oui, Monsieur_," replied the little Anne.
+
+"_J'en suis ravi._[34] Now, _ma chère, commençons--commençons tout de
+suite_."[35]
+
+[Footnote 34: I am delighted at it.]
+
+[Footnote 35: Now, my dear, let us begin--let us begin immediately.]
+
+Little Anne slowly descended from her uncle's knee, carefully put away
+her doll and folded up her doll's clothes, and then made a tedious
+search for her book.
+
+"_Eh! bien, commençons_," said Mr. Ravigote, "you move without any
+rapidity."
+
+"_Oui, Monsieur_," responded little Anne, who, after she had taken her
+seat in a low chair beside Mr. Ravigote, was a long time getting into a
+comfortable position, and at last settled herself to her satisfaction by
+crossing her feet, leaning back as far as she could go, and hooking one
+finger in her coral necklace, that she might pull at it all the time.
+
+"_Eh! bien, ma chère_; we will first have the lessons without the book,"
+said Mr. Ravigote, commencing with the vocabulary. "Tell me the names of
+all the months of the year--for instance, January."
+
+"_Janvier_," answered the pupil, promptly.
+
+"Ah! very well, very well, indeed, _ma chère_--for once, you know the
+first word of your lesson. Ah! to-day I have, indeed, great hope of you.
+Come, now, February?"
+
+"_Fevrier_," said little Anne.
+
+"Excellent! excellent! you know the second word too--and now, then,
+March?"
+
+"Marsh."
+
+"Ah! no, no--but I am old; perhaps I did not rightly hear. Repeat, _ma
+chère enfant_,[36] repeat."
+
+[Footnote 36: My dear child.]
+
+"Marsh," cried little Anne in a very loud voice.
+
+"Ah! you are wrong; but I will pardon you--you have said two words
+right. _Mars, ma chère, Mars_ is the French for March the month. Come
+now, April."
+
+"Aprile."
+
+"Aprile! there is no such word as Aprile--_Avril_. And now tell me, what
+is May?"
+
+"_Mai._"
+
+"Excellent! excellent! capital! _magnifique!_ you said that word
+_parfaitement bien_.[37] Now let us proceed--June."
+
+[Footnote 37: Perfectly well.]
+
+"Juney."
+
+"Ah! no, no--_Juin, ma chère, Juin_--but I will excuse you. Now, tell me
+July."
+
+Little Anne could make no answer.
+
+"Ah! I fear--I begin to fear you. Are you not growing bad?"
+
+"_Oui, Monsieur_," said little Anne.
+
+"Come then; I will tell you this once--_Juillet_ is the French for July.
+Now, tell me what is August?"
+
+"Augoost!"
+
+"Augoost! Augoost! there is no such a word. Why, you are very bad,
+indeed--_Août, Août, Août_."
+
+The manner in which Mr. Ravigote vociferated this rather uncouth word,
+roused Uncle Philip from his newspaper and his rocking-chair, and
+mistaking it for a howl of pain, he started up and exclaimed, "Hallo!"
+Mr. Ravigote turned round in amazement, and Uncle Philip continued,
+"Hey, what's the matter? Has anything hurt you? I thought I heard a
+howl."
+
+"Dear uncle," said little Anne, "Mr. Ravigote is not howling; he is only
+saying August in French."
+
+Uncle Philip bit his lip and resumed his paper. Mr. Ravigote proceeded,
+"September?" and his pupil repeated in a breath, as if she was afraid to
+stop an instant lest she should forget--
+
+"Septembre, Octobre, Novembre, Décembre."
+
+"Ah! very well; very well, indeed," exclaimed Mr. Ravigote; "you have
+said these four words _comme il faut_;[38] but it must be confessed they
+are not much difficult."
+
+[Footnote 38: Properly].
+
+He then proceeded with the remainder of her vocabulary lesson; but in
+vain--not another word did she say that had the least affinity to the
+right one. "Ah!" said he, "_je suis au desespoir_;[39] I much expected
+of you this day, but you have overtumbled all my hopes. _Je suis
+abimé._"[40]
+
+[Footnote 39: I am in despair.]
+
+[Footnote 40: "I am thrown in an abyss of grief," is perhaps nearest the
+meaning of this very French expression.]
+
+"_Oui, Monsieur_, said little Anne.
+
+"You are one _mauvais sujet_,"[41] pursued the teacher, beginning to
+lose his patience; "punishment is all that you merit. _Mais allons,
+essayons encore._"[42]
+
+[Footnote 41: Bad person--bad child.]
+
+[Footnote 42: But come, let us try again.]
+
+Just at that moment the string of little Anne's beads (at which she had
+been pulling during the whole lesson) broke suddenly in two, and the
+beads began to shower down, a few into her lap, but most of them on the
+floor.
+
+"_Oh! quel dommage!_"[43] exclaimed Mr. Ravigote; "_Mais n'importe,
+laissez-les_,[44] and continue your lesson."
+
+[Footnote 43: Oh! what a pity!]
+
+[Footnote 44: But no matter--let them alone.]
+
+But poor Mr. Ravigote found it impossible to make the little girl pay
+the slightest attention to him while her beads were scattered on the
+floor; and his only alternative was to stoop down and help her to pick
+them up. Uncle Philip raised his eyes from the paper, and said, "Never
+mind the beads, my dear; finish the lesson, and I will buy you a new
+coral necklace to-morrow, and a much prettier one than that."
+
+Little Anne instantly rose from the floor, and whisking into her chair,
+prepared to resume her lesson with alacrity.
+
+"_Eh! bien_," said the teacher, "now we will start off again, and read
+the inside of a book. Come, here is the fable of the fox and the grapes.
+These are the fables that we read during the _ancien régime_; there are
+none so good now."
+
+Mr. Ravigote then proceeded to read with her, translating as he went on,
+and making her repeat after him--"A fox of Normandy, (some say of
+Gascony,) &c., &c. Now, my dear, you must try this day and make a copy
+of the nasal sounds as you hear them from me. It is in these sounds that
+you are always the very worst. The nasal sounds are the soul and the
+life of French speaking."
+
+The teacher bent over the book, and little Anne followed his
+pronunciation more closely than she had ever done before: he exclaiming
+at every sentence, "Very well--very well, indeed, my dear. To-day you
+have the nasal sounds, _comme une ange_."[45]
+
+[Footnote 45: Like an angel.]
+
+But on turning round to pat her head, he perceived that _gentille
+Annette_ was holding her nose between her thumb and finger, and that it
+was in this way only she had managed to give him satisfaction with the
+nasal sounds. He started back aghast, exclaiming--
+
+"_Ah! quelle friponnerie! la petite coquine! Voici un grand acte de
+fourberie et de méchanceté!_[46] So young and so depraved--ah! I fear, I
+much fear, she will grow up a rogue-a cheat--perhaps a thief. _Je suis
+glacé d'horreur! Je tremble! Je frissonne!_"[47]
+
+[Footnote 46: Ah! what roguery--the little jade! What an instance of
+imposture and wickedness!]
+
+[Footnote 47: I am frozen with horror!--I tremble!--I shiver!]
+
+"I'll tell you what," said Uncle Philip, laying down his newspaper, "you
+need neither tremble nor frisson, nor get yourself into any horror about
+it. The child's only a girl of five years old, and I've no notion that
+the little tricks, that all children are apt to play at times, are
+proofs of natural wickedness, or signs that they will grow up bad men
+and women. But to cut the matter short, the girl is too little to learn
+French. She is not old enough either to understand it, or to remember
+it, and you see it's impossible for her to give her mind to it. So from
+this time, I say, she shall learn no more French till she is grown up,
+and desires it herself. (_Little Anne gave a skip half way to the
+ceiling._) You shall be paid for her quarter all the same, and I'll pay
+you myself on the spot. So you need never come again."
+
+Mr. Ravigote was now from head to foot all one smile; and bowing with
+his hands on his heart, he, at Uncle Philip's desire, mentioned the sum
+due for a quarter's attempt at instruction. Uncle Philip immediately
+took the money out of his pocket-book, saying, "There,--there is a
+dollar over; but you may keep it yourself: I want no change. I suppose
+my niece, Kitty Clavering, will not be pleased at my sending you off;
+but she will have to get over it, for I'll see that child tormented no
+longer."
+
+Mr. Ravigote thought in his own mind, that the torment had been much
+greater to him than to the child; but he was so full of gratitude, that
+he magnanimously offered to take the blame on himself, and represent to
+Mrs. Clavering that it was his own proposal to give up Mademoiselle
+Annette, as her organ of French was not yet developed.
+
+"No, no," said Uncle Philip, "I am always fair and above-board. I want
+nobody to shift the blame from my shoulders to their own. Whatever I do,
+I'll stand by manfully. I only hope that you'll never again attempt to
+teach French to babies."
+
+Mr. Ravigote took leave with many thanks, and on turning to bid his
+adieu to the little girl, he found that she had already vanished from
+the parlour, and was riding about the green on the back of old Neptune.
+
+When Uncle Philip told Mrs. Clavering of his dismissal of Mr. Ravigote,
+she was so deeply vexed, that she thought it most prudent to say
+nothing, lest she should be induced to say too much.
+
+A few days after this event, Madame Franchimeau sent an invitation,
+written in French, for Mrs. Clavering, and "Monsieur Philippe" to pass
+the evening at her house, and partake of a _petit souper_,[48] bringing
+with them _le doux Sammi_, and _la belle Fanchette_.[49] This supper
+was to celebrate the birthday of her niece, Mademoiselle Robertine, who
+had just arrived from New York, and was to spend a few weeks at Corinth.
+
+[Footnote 48: A little supper.]
+
+[Footnote 49: The gentle Sammy and the lovely Fanchette.]
+
+Uncle Philip had never yet been prevailed on to enter the French house,
+as he called it; and on this occasion he stoutly declared off, saying
+that he had no desire to see any more of their foolery, and that he
+hated the thoughts of a French supper. "My friend, Tom Logbook," said
+he, "who commands the packet Louis Quatorze, and understands French,
+told me of a supper to which he was invited the first time he was at
+Havre, and of the dishes he was expected to eat, and I shall take care
+never to put myself in the way of such ridiculous trash. Why, he told me
+there was wooden-leg soup, and bagpipes of mutton, and rabbits in
+spectacles, and pullets in silk stockings, and potatoes in shirts.[50]
+Answer me now, are such things fit for Christians to eat?"
+
+[Footnote 50: _Soupe à la jambe de bois--musettes de mouton--lapins en
+lorgnettes--poulardes en bas de soie--pommes de terre en chemise._ See
+Ude, &c.]
+
+For a long time Mrs. Clavering tried in vain to prevail on Uncle Philip
+to accept of the invitation. At last Dick suggested a new persuasive.
+"Mother," said he, "I have no doubt Uncle Philip would go to the French
+supper, if you will let us all have a holiday from school for a week."
+
+"That's a good thought, Dick," exclaimed the old gentleman. "Yes, I
+think I would. Well, on these terms I will go, and eat trash. I suppose
+I shall live through it. But remember now, this is the first and last
+and only time I will ever enter a French house."
+
+After tea, the party set out for Monsieur Franchimeau's, and were
+ushered into the front parlour, which was fitted up in a manner that
+exhibited a strange _mélange_ of slovenliness and pretension. There was
+neither carpet nor matting, and the floor was by no means in the nicest
+order; but there were three very large looking-glasses, the plates being
+all more or less cracked, and the frames sadly tarnished. The chairs
+were of two different sorts, and of very ungenteel appearance; but there
+was a kind of Grecian sofa, or lounge, with a gilt frame much defaced,
+and a red damask cover much soiled; and, in the centre of the room,
+stood a _fauteuil_[51] covered with blue moreen, the hair poking out in
+tufts through the slits. The windows were decorated with showy curtains
+of coarse pink muslin and marvellously coarse white muslin; the drapery
+suspended from two gilt arrows, one of which had lost its point, and the
+other had parted with its feather. The hearth was filled with rubbish,
+such as old pens, curl-papers, and bits of rag; but the mantel-piece was
+adorned with vases of artificial flowers under glass bells, and two
+elegant chocolate cups of French china.
+
+[Footnote 51: Easy chair.]
+
+The walls were hung with a dozen bad lithographic prints, tastefully
+suspended by bows of gauze ribbon. Among these specimens of the worst
+style of the modern French school, was a Cupid and Psyche, with a
+background that was the most prominent part of the picture, every leaf
+of every tree on the distant mountains being distinctly defined and
+smoothly finished. The clouds seemed unwilling to stay behind the hills,
+but had come so boldly forward and looked so like masses of stone, that
+there was much apparent danger of their falling on the heads of the
+lovers and crushing them to atoms. Psyche was an immensely tall, narrow
+woman, of a certain age, and remarkably strong features; and Cupid was a
+slender young man, of nineteen or twenty, about seven feet high, with
+long tresses descending to his waist.
+
+Another print represented a huge muscular woman, with large coarse
+features distorted into the stare and grin of a maniac, an enormous lyre
+in her hand, a cloud of hair flying in one direction, and a volume of
+drapery exhibiting its streaky folds in another; while she is running to
+the edge of a precipice, as if pursued by a mad bull, and plunging
+forward with one foot in the air, and her arms extended above her head.
+This was Sappho on the rock of Leucate. These two prints Mr. Franchimeau
+(who professed connoisseurship, and always talked when pictures were the
+subject--that is, French pictures) pointed out to his visiters as
+magnificent emanations of the Fine Arts. "The coarse arts, rather,"
+murmured Uncle Philip.
+
+The guests were received with much suavity by the French ladies and the
+_vieux_ papa; and Capt. Kentledge was introduced by Madame Franchimeau
+to three little black-haired girls, with surprisingly yellow faces, who
+were designated by the mother as "_mon aimable Lulu, ma mignonne Mimi,
+and ma petite ange Gogo_."[52] Uncle Philip wondered what were the real
+names of these children.
+
+[Footnote 52: My lovely Lulu, my darling Mimi, and my little angel
+Gogo.]
+
+After this, Madame Franchimeau left the room for a moment, and returned,
+leading in a very pretty young girl, whom she introduced as her _très
+chère niece, Mademoiselle Robertine_,[53] orphan daughter of a brother
+of her respectable Alphonse.
+
+[Footnote 53: Her beloved niece, Miss Robertine.]
+
+Robertine had a neat French figure, a handsome French face, and a
+profusion of hair arranged precisely in the newest style of the wax
+figures that decorate the windows of the most fashionable
+_coiffeurs_.[54] She was dressed in a thin white muslin, with a short
+black silk apron, embroidered at the corners with flowers in colours.
+Mr. Franchimeau resigned to her his chair beside Uncle Philip, to whom
+(while her aunt and the Ravigotes were chattering and shrugging to Mrs.
+Clavering) she addressed herself with considerable fluency and in good
+English. People who have known but little of the world, and of the best
+tone of society, are apt, on being introduced to new acquaintances, to
+talk to them at once of their profession, or in reference to it; and
+Robertine questioned Uncle Philip about his ships and his voyages, and
+took occasion to tell him that she had always admired the character of a
+sailor, and still more that of a captain; that she thought the brown
+tinge given by the sea air a great improvement to a fine manly
+countenance; that fair-complexioned people were her utter aversion, and
+that a gentleman was never in his best looks till he had attained the
+age of forty, or, indeed, of forty-five.
+
+[Footnote 54: Hair-dressers.]
+
+"Then I am long past the age of good looks," said Uncle Philip, "for I
+was sixty-two the sixth of last June."
+
+"Is it possible!" exclaimed Robertine. "I had no idea that Captain
+Kentledge could have been more than forty-three or forty-four at the
+utmost. But gentlemen who have good health and amiable dispositions,
+never seem to grow old. I have known some who were absolutely charming
+even at seventy."
+
+"Pshaw!" said Uncle Philip, half aside.
+
+Robertine, who had been tutored by her aunt Franchimeau, ran on with a
+tirade of compliments and innuendos, so glaring as to defeat their own
+purpose. Sam, who sat opposite, and was a shrewd lad, saw in a moment
+her design, and could not forbear at times casting significant looks
+towards his uncle. The old captain perfectly comprehended the meaning of
+those looks, and perceived that Mademoiselle Robertine was spreading
+her net for him. Determining not to be caught, he received all her
+smiles with a contracted brow; replied only in monosyllables; and, as
+she proceeded, shut his teeth firmly together, closed his lips tightly,
+pressed his clenched hands against the sides of his chair, and sat bolt
+upright; resolved on answering her no more.
+
+About nine o'clock, the door of the back parlour was thrown open by the
+little mulatto girl, and Madame Franchimeau was seen seated at the head
+of the supper-table. Mr. Franchimeau led in Mrs. Clavering; Mr. Ravigote
+took Fanny; Madame Ravigote gave her hand to Sam, and Robertine, of
+course, fell to the lot of Uncle Philip, who touched with a very ill
+grace the fingers that she smilingly extended to him.
+
+In the centre of the supper-table was a salad decorated with roses, and
+surrounded by four candles. The chief dish contained _blanquettes_ of
+veal; and the other viands were a _fricandeau_ of calves' ears; a
+_purée_ of pigs' tails; a _ragout_ of sheep's feet, and another of
+chickens' pinions interspersed with claws; there was a dish of turnips
+with mustard, another of cabbage with cheese, a bread omelet, a plate of
+poached eggs, a plate of sugar-plums, and a dish of hashed fish, which
+Madame Franchimeau called a _farce_.
+
+As soon as they were seated, Robertine took a rose from the salad, and
+with a look of considerable sentiment, presented it to Uncle Philip, who
+received it with a silent frown, and took an opportunity of dropping it
+on the floor, when Sam slyly set his foot on it and crushed it flat. The
+young lady then mixed a glass of _eau sucré_[55] for the old gentleman,
+saying very sweet things all the time; but the beverage was as little to
+his taste as the Hebe that prepared it.
+
+[Footnote 55: Sugar and water.]
+
+The French children were all at table, and the youngest girl looking
+somewhat unwell, and leaving her food on her plate, caused Mrs.
+Clavering to make a remark on her want of appetite.
+
+"_N'importe_,"[56] said Madame Franchimeau; "she is not affamished; she
+did eat very hearty at her tea; she had shesnoot for her tea."
+
+[Footnote 56: No matter.]
+
+"Chestnuts!" exclaimed Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"Oh, yes; we have them at times. _N'importe_, my little Gogo; cease your
+supper, you will have the better appetite for your breakfast. You shall
+have an apple for your breakfast--a large, big apple. Monsieur Philippe,
+permit me to help you to some of this fish; you will find it a most
+excellent _farce_:[57] I have preserved it from corruption by a process
+of vinegar and salt, and some charcoal. Madame Colavering, I will show
+you that mode of restoring fish when it begins to putrefy: a great
+chemist taught it to my assassined Alphonse."
+
+[Footnote 57: Farce, in French cookery, signifies chopped meat, fish,
+poultry, well seasoned and mixed with other ingredients.]
+
+Uncle Philip pushed away his plate with unequivocal signs of disgust,
+and moved back his chair, determined not to taste another mouthful while
+he stayed in the house. Suspicious of everything, he even declined
+Robertine's solicitations to take a glass of _liqueur_ which she poured
+out for him, and which she assured him was genuine _parfait amour_.[58]
+During supper, she had talked to him, in a low voice, of the great
+superiority of the American nation when compared with the French; and
+regretted the frivolity and _inconsequence_ of the French character; but
+assured him that when French ladies had the honour of marrying American
+gentlemen, they always lost that inconsequence, and acquired much depth
+and force.
+
+[Footnote 58: Perfect love.]
+
+After supper, Mr. Franchimeau, who, notwithstanding his taciturnity and
+_brusquerie_, was what Uncle Philip called a Jack of all trades, sat
+down to an old out-of-tune piano, that stood in one of the recesses of
+the back parlour, and played an insipid air of "Paul at the Tomb of
+Virginia," singing with a hoarse stentorian voice half-a-dozen
+namby-pamby stanzas, lengthening out or contracting some of the words,
+and mispronouncing others to suit the measure and the rhyme. This song,
+however, seemed to produce great effect on the French part of his
+audience, who sighed, started, and exclaimed--"_Ah! quels sont touchans,
+ces sentimens sublimes!_"[59]
+
+[Footnote 59: Ah! how touching are these sublime sentiments!]
+
+"_Ma chère amie_," continued Madame Franchimeau, pressing the hand of
+Mrs. Clavering, "_permettez que je pleure un peu le triste destin de
+l'innocence et de la vertu--infortuné Paul--malheureuse Virginie_;"[60]
+and she really seemed to shed tears.
+
+[Footnote 60: My dear friend, permit me to weep a little for the sad
+fate of innocence and virtue--unfortunate Paul--hapless Virginia.]
+
+Uncle Philip could no longer restrain himself, but he started from his
+chair and paced the room in evident discomposure at the folly and
+affectation that surrounded him; his contempt for all men that played on
+pianos being much heightened by the absurd appearance of the huge
+black-whiskered, shock-headed Monsieur Franchimeau, with his long
+frock-coat hanging down all over the music-stool. Robertine declined
+playing, alleging that she had none of her own music with her; and she
+privately told Uncle Philip that she had lost all relish for French
+songs, and that she was very desirous of learning some of the national
+airs of America--for instance, the Tars of Columbia. But still Uncle
+Philip's heart was iron-bound, and he deigned no other reply than, "I
+don't believe they'll suit you."
+
+A dance was then proposed by Madame Ravigote, and Robertine, "nothing
+daunted," challenged Uncle Philip to lead off with her; but, completely
+out of patience, he turned on his heel, and walked away without
+vouchsafing an answer. Robertine then applied to Sam, but with no better
+success, for as yet he had not learned that accomplishment, and she was
+finally obliged to dance with old Mr. Ravigote, while Madame Franchimeau
+took out her mother; Fanny danced with the lovely Lulu, and Mimi and
+Gogo with each other; Mr. Franchimeau playing cotillions for them.
+
+Uncle Philip thought in his own mind that the dancing was the best part
+of the evening's entertainment, and old Madame Ravigote was certainly
+the best of the dancers; though none of the family were deficient in a
+talent which seems indigenous to the whole French nation.
+
+The cotillions were succeeded by cream of tartar lemonade, and a plate
+of sugar-plums enfolded in French mottoes, from which Robertine selected
+the most amatory, and presented them to Uncle Philip, who regularly made
+a point of giving them all back to her in silence, determined not to
+retain a single one, lest she might suppose he acknowledged the
+application.
+
+The old gentleman was very tired of the visit, and glad enough when Mrs.
+Clavering proposed departing. And all the way home his infatuated niece
+talked to him in raptures of the elegance of French people, and the vast
+difference between them and the Americans.
+
+"There is, indeed, a difference," said Uncle Philip, too much fatigued
+to argue the point that night.
+
+Next morning, after they had adjourned to the cabin, Sam addressed the
+old gentleman with, "Well, Uncle Philip, I wish you joy of the conquest
+you made last evening of the pretty French girl, Miss Robertine."
+
+"A conquest of _her_," replied Uncle Philip, indignantly; "the report of
+my dollars has made the conquest. I am not yet old enough to be taken in
+by such barefaced manoeuvring. No, no; I am not yet in my dotage; and
+I heartily despise a young girl that is willing to sell herself to a man
+old enough to be her father."
+
+"I am glad you do," observed Sam; "I have often heard my mother say that
+such matches never fail to turn out badly, and to make both husband and
+wife miserable. We all think she talks very sensibly on this subject."
+
+"No doubt," said Uncle Philip.
+
+"I really wonder," pursued Sam, "that a Frenchwoman should venture to
+make love to _you_."
+
+"Love!" exclaimed Uncle Philip; "I tell you, there's no love in the
+case. I am not such a fool as to believe that a pretty young girl could
+fall in love with an old fellow like _me_. No, no; all she wants is,
+that I should die as soon as possible and leave her a rich widow: but
+she will find her mistake; she shall see that all her sweet looks and
+sweet speeches will have no effect on me but to make me hate her. She
+might as well attempt to soften marble by dropping honey on it."
+
+"You'll be not only marble, but granite, also, won't you, Uncle Philip?"
+said Sam.
+
+"That I will, my boy," said the old gentleman; "and now let's talk of
+something else."
+
+After this, no persuasion could induce Uncle Philip to repeat his visit
+to the Franchimeaus; and when any of that family came to Mrs.
+Clavering's he always left the room in a few minutes, particularly if
+they were accompanied by Robertine. In short, he now almost lived in his
+cabin, laying strict injunctions on Mrs. Clavering not to bring thither
+any of the French.
+
+One morning, while he was busy there with Sam, Dick, and Neptune, the
+boys, happening to look out, saw Robertine listlessly rambling on the
+bank of the river, and entirely alone. There was every appearance of a
+shower coming up. "I suppose," said Dick, "Miss Robertine intends going
+to our house; and if she does not make haste, she will be caught in the
+rain. There, now, she is looking up at the clouds. See, see--she is
+coming this way as fast as she can."
+
+"Confound her impudence!" said Uncle Philip; "is she going to ferret me
+out of my cabin? Sam, shut that door."
+
+"Shall I place the great chest against it?" said Sam.
+
+"Pho--no," replied the old gentleman. "With all her assurance, she'll
+scarcely venture to break in by force. I would not for a thousand
+dollars that she should get a footing here."
+
+Presently a knock was heard at the door.
+
+"There she is," said Dick.
+
+"Let us take no notice," said Sam.
+
+"After all," said Uncle Philip, "she's a woman; and a woman must not be
+exposed to the rain, when a man can give her a shelter. We must let her
+in; nothing else can be done with her."
+
+Upon this, Sam opened the door; and Robertine, with many apologies for
+her intrusion, expressed her fear of being caught in the rain, and
+begged permission to wait there till the shower was over.
+
+"I was quite lost in a reverie," said she, "as I wandered on the shore
+of the river. Retired walks are now best suited to my feelings. When the
+heart has received a deep impression, nothing is more delicious than to
+sigh in secret."
+
+"Fudge!" muttered Uncle Philip between his teeth.
+
+"Uncle Philip says fudge," whispered Dick to Sam.
+
+"I'm glad of it," whispered Sam to Dick.
+
+Uncle Philip handed Robertine a chair, and she received this
+common-place civility with as much evident delight as if he had
+proffered her "the plain gold ring."
+
+"Sam," said the old gentleman, "run to the house as fast as you can, and
+bring an umbrella, and then see Miss Robertine home."
+
+"That I will, uncle," said Sam, with alacrity.
+
+Robertine then began to admire the drawings on the wall, and
+said--"Apparently, these are all ships that Captain Kentledge has taken
+in battle?"
+
+"No," replied Uncle Philip, "I never took any ship in battle; I always
+belonged to the merchant service."
+
+Robertine was now at fault; but soon recovering herself, she
+continued--"No doubt if you _had_ been in battle, you _would_ have taken
+ships; for victory always crowns the brave, and my opinion is, that all
+Americans are brave of course; particularly if they are gentlemen of the
+sea."
+
+"And have plenty of cash," Uncle Philip could not avoid saying.
+
+Robertine coloured to the eyes; and Uncle Philip checked himself, seeing
+that he had been too severe upon her. "I must not forget that she is a
+woman," thought he; "while she stays, I will try to be civil to her."
+
+But Robertine was too thoroughly resolved on carrying her point to be
+easily daunted; and, in half a minute, she said with a smile--"I see
+that Captain Kentledge will always have his jest. Wit is one of the
+attributes of his profession."
+
+Her admiration of the ships not having produced much effect, Robertine
+next betook herself to admiring the dog Neptune, who was lying at his
+master's feet, and she gracefully knelt beside him and patted his head,
+saying--"What a magnificent animal! The most splendid dog I ever saw!
+What a grand and imposing figure! How sensible and expressive is his
+face!"
+
+Dick found it difficult to suppress an involuntary giggle, for it struck
+him that Robertine must have heard the remark which was very current
+through the village, of Neptune's face having a great resemblance to
+Uncle Philip's own.
+
+Where is the man that, being "the fortunate possessor of a Newfoundland
+dog," can hear his praises without emotion? Uncle Philip's ice began to
+thaw. All the blandishments that Robertine had lavished on himself,
+caused no other effect than disgust; but the moment she appeared to like
+his dog, his granite heart began to soften, and he felt a disposition to
+like _her_ in return. He cast a glance towards Robertine as she caressed
+old Neptune, and he thought her so pretty that the glance was succeeded
+by a gaze. He put out his hand to raise her from her kneeling attitude,
+and actually placed a chair for her beside his own. Robertine thought
+herself in Paradise, for she saw that her last arrow had struck the
+mark. Uncle Philip's stubborn tongue was now completely loosened, and he
+entered into an eloquent detail of the numerous excellencies of the
+noble animal, and related a story of his life having been saved by
+Neptune during a shipwreck.
+
+To all this did Robertine "most seriously incline." She listened with
+breathless interest, was startled, terrified, anxious, delighted, and
+always in the right place; and when the story was finished, she
+pronounced Newfoundland dogs the best of all created animals, and
+Neptune the best of all Newfoundland dogs.
+
+Just then Sam arrived with the umbrella.
+
+"Sam," said Uncle Philip, "you may give _me_ the umbrella; I will see
+Miss Robertine home myself. But I think she had better wait till the
+rain is over."
+
+This last proposal Robertine thought it most prudent to decline, fearing
+that if she stayed till the rain ceased, Uncle Philip might no longer
+think it necessary to escort her home. Accordingly the old gentleman
+gave her his arm, and walked off with her under the umbrella. As soon as
+they were gone, Sam and Dick laughed out, and compared notes.
+
+In the afternoon, after spending a considerable time at his toilet,
+Uncle Philip, without saying anything to the family, told one of the
+servants that he should not drink tea at home, and sallied off in the
+direction of Franchimeau's. He did not return till ten o'clock, and then
+went straight to bed without entering the sitting-room. The truth was,
+that when he conveyed Robertine home in the morning, he could not resist
+her invitation into the house; and he sat there long enough for Madame
+Ravigote (who, in frightful _dishabille_, was darning stockings in the
+parlour) to see that things wore a promising aspect. The old lady went
+to the school-room door, and called out Madame Franchimeau to inform her
+of the favourable change in the state of affairs: and it was decided
+that _le vieux Philippe_[61] (as they called him behind the scenes, for
+none of them, except Robertine, could say Kentledge), should be invited
+to tea, that the young lady might have an immediate opportunity of
+following up the success of the morning.
+
+[Footnote 61: Old Philip.]
+
+Next morning, about eleven o'clock, Uncle Philip disappeared again, and
+was seen no more till dinner-time. When he came in, he took his seat at
+the table without saying a word, and there was something unusually queer
+in his look, and embarrassed in all his motions; and the children
+thought that he did not seem at all like himself. Little Anne, who sat
+always at his right hand, leaned back in her chair and looked behind
+him, and then suddenly exclaimed--"Why, Uncle Philip has had his queue
+cut off!"
+
+There was a general movement of surprise. Uncle Philip reddened,
+hesitated, and at last said, in a confused manner, "that he had for a
+long time thought his queue rather troublesome, and that he had recently
+been told that it made him look ten years older than he really was; and,
+therefore, he had stopped at the barber's, on his way home, and got rid
+of it."
+
+Mrs. Clavering had never admired the queue; but she thought the loss of
+it, just at this juncture, looked particularly ominous.
+
+In the afternoon she received a visit from her friend, Mrs. Slimbridge,
+who was scarcely seated when she commenced with--"Well, Mrs. Clavering,
+I understand you are shortly to have a new aunt, and I have come to
+congratulate you on the joyful occasion."
+
+"A new aunt?" said Mrs. Clavering; "I am really at a loss to understand
+your meaning!" looking, however, as if she understood it perfectly.
+
+"Why, certainly," replied Mrs. Slimbridge, "it can be no news to _you_
+that Captain Kentledge is going to be married to Madame Franchimeau's
+niece, Mademoiselle Robertine. He was seen, yesterday morning, walking
+with her under the same umbrella!"
+
+"Well, and what of that?" interrupted Mrs. Clavering, fretfully; "does a
+gentleman never hold an umbrella over a lady's head unless he intends to
+marry her?"
+
+"Oh, as yet they do," replied Mrs. Slimbridge, "but I know not how much
+longer even that piece of civility will be continued--gentlemen are now
+so much afraid of committing themselves. But seriously, his seeing her
+home in the rain is not the most important part of the story. He drank
+tea at Franchimeau's last evening, and paid a long visit at the house
+this morning; and Emilie, their mulatto girl, told Mrs. Pinxton's Mary,
+and my Phillis had it direct from _her_, that she overheard Miss
+Robertine, persuading Captain Kentledge to have his queue cut off. The
+good gentleman, it seems, held out for a long time, but at last
+consented to lose it. However, I do not vouch for the truth of that part
+of the statement. Old seafaring men are so partial to their hair, and it
+is a point on which they are so obstinate, that I scarcely think Miss
+Robertine would have ventured so far."
+
+"Some young girls have boldness enough for anything," said Mrs.
+Clavering, with a toss of her head, and knowing in her own mind that the
+queue was really off.
+
+"Well," continued Mrs. Slimbridge, "the story is all over town that it
+is quite a settled thing; and, as I said, I have hastened to
+congratulate you."
+
+"Congratulate me! For what?" said Mrs. Clavering; with much asperity.
+
+"Why," returned Mrs. Slimbridge, "you know these French people are your
+bosom friends, and of course you must rejoice in the prospect of a
+nearer connexion with them. To be sure, it would be rather more
+gratifying if Miss Robertine was in a somewhat higher walk of life. You
+know it is whispered, that she is only a mantua-maker's girl, and that
+the dear friend whom Madame Franchimeau talks about, as having adopted
+her beloved Robertine (though she takes care never to mention the name
+of that dear friend), is in reality no other than the celebrated Madame
+Gigot, in whose dressmaking establishment Mademoiselle is hired to
+work."
+
+"Horrible!" was Mrs. Clavering's involuntary exclamation; but recovering
+herself, she continued--"But I can assure you, Mrs. Slimbridge, that I
+am perfectly convinced there is not a word of truth in the whole story.
+Captain Kentledge has certainly his peculiarities, but he is a man of
+too much sense to marry a young wife; and besides, his regard for my
+children is so great, that I am convinced it is his firm intention to
+live single for their sakes, that he may leave them the whole of his
+property. He thinks too much of the family to allow his money to go out
+of it."
+
+"All that may be," answered Mrs. Slimbridge; "but when an old man falls
+in love with a young girl, his regard for his own relations generally
+melts away like snow before the fire. I think you had better speak to
+Captain Kentledge on the subject. I advise you, as a friend, to do so,
+unless you conclude that opposition may only render him the more
+determined. Certainly one would not like to lose so much money out of
+the family, without making a little struggle to retain it. However, I
+must now take my leave. As a friend, I advise you to speak to Captain
+Kentledge."
+
+"I can assure you," replied Mrs. Clavering, as she accompanied her guest
+to the door, "this silly report gives me not the slightest uneasiness,
+as it is too absurd to merit one serious thought. I shall dismiss it
+from my mind with silent contempt. To mention it to Captain Kentledge
+would be really too ridiculous."
+
+As soon as she had got rid of her visitor, Mrs. Clavering hastily threw
+on her calash, and repaired at a brisk pace to Uncle Philip's cabin. She
+found him at his desk, busily employed in writing out for Robertine the
+words of "America, Commerce, and Freedom." She made a pretext for
+sending away Sam, and told Uncle Philip that she wished some private
+conversation with him. The old gentleman coloured, laid down his pen,
+and began to sit very uneasy on his chair, guessing what was to come.
+
+Mrs. Clavering then, without further hesitation, acquainted him with all
+she had heard, and asked him if it could possibly be true that he had
+any intention of marrying Robertine.
+
+"I don't know but I shall," said Uncle Philip.
+
+"You really shock me!" exclaimed Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"What is there so shocking," replied the old gentleman, "in my liking a
+pretty girl--ay, and in making her my wife, too, if I think proper? But
+that's as it may be--I have not yet made her the offer."
+
+Mrs. Clavering breathed again. "Really, Uncle Philip," said she, "I
+thought you had more sense, and knew more of the world. Can you not see
+at once that all she wants is your money? It is impossible she could
+have any other inducement."
+
+"I thank you for your compliment," said Uncle Philip, pulling up his
+shirt collar and taking a glance at the looking-glass.
+
+"Is the man an absolute fool?" thought Mrs. Clavering: "what can have
+got into him?" Then raising her voice, she exclaimed--"Is this, then,
+the end of all your aversion to the French?"
+
+"Then you should not have put the French in my way," said Uncle Philip:
+"it is all your own fault; and if I _should_ play the fool, you have
+nobody to thank but yourself. Why did you make me go to that supper?"
+
+"Why, indeed!" replied Mrs. Clavering, with a sigh: "but knowing how
+much you dislike foreigners and all their ways, such an idea as your
+falling in love with a French girl never for a moment entered my mind.
+But I can tell you one thing that will effectually put all thoughts of
+Miss Robertine out of your head."
+
+"What is that?" said Uncle Philip, starting and changing colour.
+
+"When I tell you that she is a mantua-maker," pursued Mrs. Clavering,
+"and in the employ of Madame Gigot of New York, you, of course, can
+never again think of her as a wife."
+
+"And why not?" said Uncle Philip, recovering himself--"why should not a
+mantua-maker be thought of as a wife? If that's all you have to say
+against her, it only makes me like her the better. I honour the girl for
+engaging in a business that procures her a decent living, and prevents
+her from being burdensome to her friends. Don't you know that a man can
+always raise his wife to his own level? It is only a woman that sinks by
+marrying beneath her; as I used to tell you when you fell in love with
+the players, the first winter you spent in New York."
+
+"I deny the players--I deny them altogether," said Mrs. Clavering, with
+much warmth: "all I admired was their spangled jackets and their caps
+and feathers, and I had some curiosity to see how they looked off the
+stage, and therefore was always glad when I met any of them in the
+street."
+
+"Well, well," replied Uncle Philip, "let the players pass; I was only
+joking."
+
+"And even if it were true," resumed Mrs. Clavering, "that I had
+particularly admired one or two of the most distinguished performers, I
+was then but a mere child, and there is a great difference between
+playing the fool at sixteen and at sixty."
+
+"I don't see the folly," said Uncle Philip, "of marrying a pretty young
+girl, who is so devotedly attached to me that she cannot possibly help
+showing it continually."
+
+"Robertine attached to _you_!" retorted Mrs. Clavering. "And can you
+really believe such an absurdity?"
+
+"I thank you again for the compliment," replied Uncle Philip: "but I
+know that such things _have been_, strange as they may appear to you. I
+believe I have all my life undervalued myself; and this young lady has
+opened my eyes."
+
+"Blinded them, rather," said Mrs. Clavering. "But for your own sake, let
+me advise you to give up this girl. No marriage, where there is so great
+a disparity of years, ever did or could, or ever will or can, turn out
+well--and so you will find to your sorrow."
+
+"I rather think I shall try the experiment," said Uncle Philip. "If I am
+convinced that Miss Robertine has really a sincere regard for me, I
+shall certainly make her Mrs. Kentledge--so I must tell you candidly
+that you need not say another word to me on the subject."
+
+He resumed his writing, and Mrs. Clavering, after pausing a few moments,
+saw the inutility of urging anything further, and walked slowly and
+sadly back to the house. The children's quarters at school had nearly
+expired, and she delighted them all with the information that, finding
+they had not made as much progress in French as she had expected, and
+having reason to believe that the plan of learning everything through
+the medium of that language was not a good one, she had determined that
+after this week they should quit Monsieur and Madame Franchimeau, and
+return to Mr. Fulmer and Miss Hickman. She ceased visiting the French
+family, who, conscious that they would now be unwelcome guests, did not
+approach Mrs. Clavering's house. But Uncle Philip regularly spent every
+evening with Robertine; and Mrs. Clavering did not presume openly to
+oppose what she now perceived to be his fixed intention; but she
+indulged herself in frequent innuendoes against everything French, which
+the old gentleman was ashamed to controvert, knowing how very recently
+he had been in the practice of annoying his niece by the vehement
+expression of his own prejudices against that singular people; and he
+could not help acknowledging to himself that though he liked Robertine,
+all the rest of her family were still fools. That the Franchimeaus and
+Ravigotes were ridiculous, vulgar pretenders, Mrs. Clavering was no
+longer slow in discovering; but she was so unjust as to consider them
+fair specimens of their nation, and to turn the tables so completely as
+to aver that nothing French was endurable. She even silenced the parrots
+whenever they said, "_Parlons toujours François_."[62]
+
+[Footnote 62: Let us always speak French.]
+
+One morning Uncle Philip was surprised in his cabin by the sudden
+appearance of a very tall, very slender young Frenchman, dressed in the
+extreme of dandyism; his long, thin face was of deadly whiteness, but
+his cheeks were tinted with rouge; he had large black eyes, and eyebrows
+arched up to a point; his immense whiskers were reddish, and met under
+his chin; but his hair was black, and arranged with great skill and care
+according to the latest fashion, and filling the apartment with the
+perfume of attar of roses.
+
+Immediately on entering, he strode up to Uncle Philip, and extending a
+hand whose fingers were decorated with half a dozen showy rings,
+presented to him a highly-scented rose-coloured card, which announced
+him as "Monsieur Achille Simagrée de Lantiponne, of Paris."
+
+"Well, sir," said Uncle Philip, "and I am Captain Philip Kentledge, once
+of Salem, Massachusetts, and now of Corinth, New York."
+
+"_Oui, je le sais_,"[63] replied the Frenchman, in a loud shrill
+voice, and with a frown that was meant to be terrific. "_Oui,
+perfide--traitre--presque scélérat--tremblez! Je vous connois--tremblez,
+tremblez, je vous dit! Moi, c'est moi qui vous parle!_"[64]
+
+[Footnote 63: Yes, I know it.]
+
+[Footnote 64: Yes, perfidious man--traitor--almost rascal--tremble. I
+know you--tremble, tremble. I tell you--I--it is I that am speaking to
+you.]
+
+"What's all this for?" said Uncle Philip, looking amazed.
+
+"_Imbecil_," muttered Monsieur de Lantiponne; "_il ne comprend pas le
+Français._[65] _Eh, bien_; I will, then, address you (_roturier comme
+vous êtes_[66]) in perfect English, and very cool. How did you dare to
+have the temerity to rob from me the young miss, my _fiancée_, very soon
+my bride. Next month I should have conducted her up to the front of the
+altar. I had just taken four apartments in the Broadway--two for the
+exercise of my profession of artist in hair, and merchant of perfumes
+and all good smells; and two up the staircase, where Mademoiselle
+Robertine would pursue her dresses and her bonnets. United together, we
+should have made a large fortune. My father was a part of the noblesse
+of France, but we lost all our nobleness by the revolution. 'Virtue,
+though unfortunate, is always respectable;' that sentiment was inscribed
+above the door of my mamma's shop in the Palais Royal."
+
+[Footnote 65: Idiot--he does not understand French.]
+
+[Footnote 66: Plebeian as you are.]
+
+"Well," said Uncle Philip, "and what next?"
+
+"What next, _coquin_?"[67] continued the Frenchman, grinding his teeth.
+"Listen and die. Yesterday, I received from her this letter, enfolding a
+ring of my hair which once I had plaited for her. Now, I will overwhelm
+you with shame and repentance by reading to you this fatal letter,
+translating it into perfect English. _Ah! comme il est difficile
+d'étouffer mes emotions! N'importe, il faut un grand effort._"[68]
+
+[Footnote 67: Knave.]
+
+[Footnote 68: Ah! how difficult it is to stifle my emotions! No matter,
+I must make a great effort.]
+
+"Take a chair," said Uncle Philip, who was curious to know how all this
+would end; "when people are in great trouble, they had better be
+seated."
+
+"_Ecoutez_,"[69] said Lantiponne; "hear this lettre." He then commenced
+the epistle, first reading audibly a sentence in French, and then
+construing it into English:--
+
+[Footnote 69: Listen.]
+
+     CORINTH,----.
+
+     MY EVER DEAR FRIEND:
+
+     Destiny has decreed the separation of two hearts that should have
+     been disunited by death alone, and has brought me acquainted with
+     an old man who, since the moment of our introduction, has never
+     ceased to persecute me with the language of love. In vain did I fly
+     from him--for ever did he present himself before me with the most
+     audacious perseverance. My aunt (and what affectionate niece can
+     possibly disobey the commands of her father's sister-in-law?) has
+     ordered me to accept him; and I must now, like a mournful dove, be
+     sacrificed on the altar of Plutus. His name is Captain Kentledge,
+     but we generally call him Old Philip--sometimes the Triton, and
+     sometimes Sinbad, for he is a sailor, and very rich. He is a
+     stranger both to elegance and sentiment; of an exterior perfectly
+     revolting; and his manners are distinguished by a species of
+     brutality. It is impossible for me to regard him without horror.
+     But duty is the first consideration of a niece, and, though the
+     detestable Philip knows that my heart is devoted to my amiable
+     Achille, he takes a savage pleasure in urging me to name the day of
+     our marriage. Compassionate me, my ever dear Lantiponne. I know it
+     will be long before the wounds of our faithful hearts are
+     cicatrized.
+
+     I return you the little ring (so simple and so touching) that you
+     made me of your hair. But I will keep for ever the gold
+     essence-bottle and the silver toothpick, as emblems of your
+     tenderness. I shall often bathe them with my tears.
+
+     Adieu, my dear friend--my long-beloved Lantiponne. As Philip
+     Kentledge is very bald, I shall, when we are married, compel him to
+     wear a wig, and I will take care that he buys it of you. Likewise,
+     we shall get all our perfumery at your shop.
+
+     The inconsolable
+
+     ROBERTINE.
+
+     There are moments when my affliction is so great, that I think
+     seriously of charcoal. If you find it impossible to survive the
+     loss of your Robertine, that is the mode of death which you will
+     undoubtedly select, as being most generally approved in Paris. For
+     my own part, reason has triumphed, and I think it more heroic to
+     live and to suffer.
+
+Uncle Philip listened to this letter with all the indignation it was
+calculated to excite. But Sam and Dick were so diverted that they could
+not refrain from laughing all the time; and towards the conclusion, the
+old gentleman caught the contagion, and laughed also.
+
+"_Ah! scélérat--monstre--ogre!_"[70] exclaimed Lantiponne--"do you make
+your amusement of my sorrows? Render me, on this spot, the satisfaction
+due to a gentleman. It is for that I am come. Behold--here I offer you
+two pistoles--make your selection. Choose one this moment, or you die."
+
+[Footnote 70: Ah! villain--monster--ogre.]
+
+"Sam," said Uncle Philip, "hand me that stick."
+
+"Which one, uncle?" exclaimed Sam--"the hickory or the maple?"
+
+"The hickory," replied Uncle Philip.
+
+And as soon as he got it into his hand, he advanced towards the
+Frenchman, who drew back, but still extended the pistols, saying--"I
+will shoot off both--instantly I will present fire!"
+
+"Present fire if you dare," said Uncle Philip, brandishing his stick.
+
+Monsieur Simagrée de Lantiponne lowered his pistols and walked backward
+towards the door, which was suddenly thrown open from without, so as
+nearly to push him down, and Robertine entered, followed by Madame
+Franchimeau. At the sight of Lantiponne, both ladies exclaimed--"_Ah!
+perfide! traitre!_" and a scene of violent recrimination took place in
+French--Madame Franchimeau declaring that she had never influenced her
+niece to give up her first lover for "Monsieur Philippe," but that the
+whole plan had originated with Robertine herself. Lantiponne, in
+deprecating the inconstancy of his mistress, complained bitterly of the
+useless expense he had incurred in hiring four rooms, when two would
+have sufficed, had he known in time that she intended to jilt him.
+Robertine reproached him with his dishonourable conduct in betraying her
+confidence and showing her letter to the very person who, above all
+others, ought not to have seen it; and she deeply regretted having been
+from home with her aunt and uncle when Lantiponne came to their house
+immediately on his arrival at Corinth, and before he had sought an
+interview with Captain Kentledge. He had seen only the old Ravigotes,
+who were so impolitic as to give him a direction to Uncle Philip's
+cabin, as soon as he inquired where his rival was to be found.
+
+The altercation was so loud and so violent, that Uncle Philip finally
+demanded silence in the startling and authoritative tone to which he had
+accustomed himself when issuing his orders on ship-board; putting his
+hands before his mouth and hallooing through them as substitutes for a
+speaking trumpet. He was not so ungallant as to say that in reality the
+lady had made the first advances, but he addressed his audience in the
+following words:--
+
+"I tell you what, my friends, here's a great noise to little purpose,
+and much shrugging, and stamping, and flourishing of hands, that might
+as well be let alone. As for me, take notice, that I am quite out of the
+question, and after this day I'll have nothing more to do with any of
+you. I'm thankful to this young fellow for having opened my eyes; though
+I can't approve of his showing me his sweetheart's letter. He has saved
+me from the greatest act of folly an old man can commit, that of
+marrying a young girl. I shall take care not to make a jackass of myself
+another time."
+
+Sam and Dick exchanged looks of congratulation.
+
+"Now," continued Uncle Philip, "if, after all this, the young barber-man
+is still willing to take the girl, I know not what better either of them
+can do than to get married off-hand. I shall not feel quite satisfied
+till I have seen the ceremony myself, so let it take place immediately.
+I happen to have a hundred dollar bill in my pocket-book, so I'll give
+it to them for a wedding present. Come, I'm waiting for an answer."
+
+Madame Franchimeau and the young couple all hesitated.
+
+"Uncle," whispered Sam, "they have just been quarrelling violently--how
+can you expect them to get over it so soon, and be married directly?"
+
+"Pho!" replied Uncle Philip, "an't they French?"
+
+There was a pause of some moments. At last Robertine put on her best
+smile, and said in French to Lantiponne--"My estimable friend, pardon
+the errors of a young and simple heart, which has never for a moment
+ceased to love you."
+
+"What candour!" exclaimed Lantiponne--"what adorable frankness! Charming
+Robertine!"--kissing her hand--"more dear to me than ever."
+
+The aunt, though much displeased at Robertine for missing Uncle Philip,
+thought it best that the affair should go off with as good a grace as
+possible, and she exclaimed, while she wiped tears of vexation from her
+eyes--"How sweet to witness this reunion!"
+
+"Boys," said Uncle Philip, "which of you will run for Squire Van
+Tackemfast? To prevent all future risks, we'll have the marriage here on
+the spot, and Miss Robertine shall return to New York to-day as
+Madame"--he had to consult the young Frenchman's card--"as Madame
+Achille Simagrée de Lantiponne."
+
+Both boys instantly set off for the magistrate, but as Sam ran fastest,
+Dick gave up the chase, and turned to the house, where he startled his
+mother by exclaiming--"Make haste--make haste down to the cabin--there's
+to be marrying there directly."
+
+"Shocking!" cried Mrs. Clavering, throwing away her sewing. "Is Uncle
+Philip really going to play the madman? Can there be no way of saving
+him?"
+
+"He _is_ saved," replied Dick; "he has just been saved by a French
+barber, Miss Robertine's old sweetheart; and so Uncle Philip is going to
+have them married out of the way, as soon as possible. I suppose he is
+determined that Miss Robertine shall not have the least chance of making
+another dead set at him. Sam is gone for Squire Van Tackemfast."
+
+"But the cabin is no place for a wedding," said Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"Why," replied Dick, "Uncle Philip seems determined not to quit the
+cabin till all danger is over. Dear mother, make haste, or Miss
+Robertine may yet win him back again."
+
+Mrs. Clavering hastily changed her cap, and ordered a servant to follow
+with cake and wine; and on their way to the cabin Dick gave her an
+account of all that had passed. In a few minutes Sam arrived,
+accompanied by Squire Van Tackemfast, with whom Captain Kentledge
+exchanged a few explanatory words. There was no time for any further
+preparation. Uncle Philip instantly put the hand of Robertine into that
+of her lover. The young couple stood up before the magistrate, who
+merely uttered a few words, but which were sufficient in law to unite
+them for ever--"In the name of the commonwealth, I pronounce you man and
+wife." This was the whole of the ceremony; the magistrate writing a
+certificate, which was duly signed by all present.
+
+"Now," said Uncle Philip, looking at his watch and addressing
+Lantiponne, "the steamboat will soon be along, and if you are going down
+to the city to-day, you will have little enough time to make your
+preparations."
+
+The bride and groom curtsied and bowed gracefully, and departed with
+Madame Franchimeau, whose last words were--"What a surprise for Monsieur
+Franchimeau, and also for papa and mamma and my little darlings!"
+
+When they were all fairly off, Mrs. Clavering felt as if relieved from
+the weight of a mountain; and she could not quit the cabin till she had
+had a long discussion with Uncle Philip on the recent events.
+
+In about an hour, the steamboat passed along, going close in shore to
+get all the advantage of the tide; and Robertine, who stood on the deck
+leaning on her husband's arm, smiled and waved her handkerchief to Uncle
+Philip.
+
+To conclude--it was not long before the old gentleman prevailed on Mrs.
+Clavering and her family to remove with him to a house of his own at
+Salem, a plan which had been in agitation for the last year; and in due
+time the boys commenced their apprenticeships, Sam to the captain of an
+Indiaman, and Dick to a shipbuilder. Both succeeded well; and have since
+become eminent in their respective professions.
+
+Uncle Philip looks not much older than when he first allowed himself to
+be smitten with Miss Robertine; but he has never since fallen into a
+similar snare. He has made his will, and divided his whole property
+between Mrs. Clavering and her children, with the exception of some
+legacies to old sailors.
+
+The Simagrée de Lantiponnes have a large establishment in Broadway.
+
+The Franchimeaus and their system soon got out of favour at Corinth, and
+they have ever since been going the rounds of new villages.
+
+
+
+
+THE ALBUM.
+
+     "Tis not in mortals to command success."--ADDISON.
+
+
+"Ungallant!--unmilitary!" exclaimed the beautiful Orinda Melbourne, to
+her yet unprofessed lover, Lieutenant Sunderland, as in the decline of a
+summer afternoon they sat near an open window in the northwest parlour
+of Mr. Cozzens's house at West Point, where as yet there was no hotel.
+"And do you steadily persist in refusing to write in my album? Really,
+you deserve to be dismissed the service for unofficer-like conduct."
+
+"I have forsworn albums," replied Sunderland, "and for at least a dozen
+reasons. In the first place, the gods have not made me poetical."
+
+"Ah!" interrupted Miss Melbourne, "you remind me of the well-known story
+of the mayor of a French provincial town, who informed the king that the
+worthy burgesses had fifteen reasons for not doing themselves the honour
+of firing a salute on his majesty's arrival: the first reason being that
+they had no cannon."
+
+"A case in point," remarked Sunderland.
+
+"Well," resumed Orinda, "I do not expect you to surpass the glories of
+Byron and Moore."
+
+"Nothing is more contemptible than _mediocre_ poetry," observed
+Sunderland; "the magazines and souvenirs have surfeited the world with
+it."
+
+"I do not require you to be even _mediocre_," persisted the young lady.
+"Give me something ludicrously bad, and I shall prize it almost as
+highly as if it were seriously good. I need not remind you of the
+hackneyed remarks, that extremes meet, and that there is but one step
+from the sublime to the ridiculous. Look at this Ode to West Point,
+written in my album by a very obliging cadet, a room-mate of my
+brother's. It is a perfect gem. How I admire these lines--
+
+    'The steamboat up the river shoots,
+    While Willis on his bugle toots.'"
+
+"Wo to the man," said Sunderland, "who subjects his poetical reputation
+to the ordeal of a lady's album, where all, whether gifted or ungifted,
+are expected to do their best."
+
+"You are mistaken," replied Orinda; "that expectation has long since
+gone by. We have found, by experience, that either from negligence or
+perverseness, gentlemen are very apt to write their worst in our
+albums."
+
+"I do not wonder at it," said Sunderland. "However, I must retrieve my
+character as a knight of chivalry. Appoint me any other task, and I will
+pledge myself to perform your bidding. Let your request 'take any shape
+but that, and my firm nerves shall never tremble.'"
+
+"But why this inveterate horror of albums?" asked Orinda. "Have you had
+any experience in them?"
+
+"I have, to my sorrow," replied Sunderland. "With me, I am convinced,
+'the course of albums never will run smooth.' For instance, I once, by
+means of an album, lost the lady of my love (I presume not to say the
+love of my lady.)"
+
+Orinda looked up and looked down, and "a change came o'er the spirit of
+her face:" which change was not unnoticed by her yet undeclared admirer,
+whose acquaintance with Miss Melbourne commenced on a former visit she
+had made to West Point, to see her brother, who was one of the cadets of
+the Military Academy.
+
+Orinda Melbourne was now in her twenty-first year, at her own disposal
+(having lost both her parents), and mistress of considerable property, a
+great part of which had been left to her by an aunt. She resided in the
+city of New York, with Mr. and Mrs. Ledbury, two old and intimate
+friends of her family, and they had accompanied her to West Point. She
+was universally considered a very charming girl, and by none more so
+than by Lieutenant Sunderland. But hearing that Miss Melbourne had
+declined the addresses of several very unexceptionable gentlemen, our
+hero was trying to delay an explicit avowal of his sentiments, till he
+should discover some reason to hope that the disclosure would be
+favourably received.
+
+Like most other men, on similar occasions, he gave a favourable
+interpretation to the emotion involuntarily evinced by the young lady,
+on hearing him allude to his former flame.
+
+There was a pause of a few moments, till Orinda rallied, and said with
+affected carelessness, "You may as well tell me the whole story, as we
+seem to have nothing better to talk of."
+
+"Well, then," proceeded Sunderland, "during one of my visits to the
+city, I met with a very pretty young lady from Brooklyn. Her name is of
+course unmentionable; but I soon found myself, for the first time in my
+life, a little in love--"
+
+"I suspect it was not merely a little," remarked Orinda, with a
+penetrating glance; "it is said, that in love the first fit is always
+the strongest."
+
+"No, no!" exclaimed Sunderland; "I deny the truth of that opinion. It is
+a popular fallacy--I know it is," fixing his eyes on Orinda.
+
+At that minute, the young officer would have given a year's pay to be
+certain whether the glow that heightened Miss Melbourne's complexion,
+was a _bona fide_ blush, or only the reflection of the declining
+sunbeams, as they streamed from under a dark cloud that was hovering
+over the western hills. However, after a few moments' consideration, he
+again interpreted favourably.
+
+"Proceed, Mr. Sunderland," said Orinda in rather a tremulous voice;
+"tell me all the particulars."
+
+"Of the album I will," replied he. "Well, then--this young lady was one
+of the belles of Brooklyn, and certainly very handsome."
+
+"Of what colour were her eyes and hair?" inquired Orinda.
+
+"Light--both very light."
+
+Orinda, who was a brunette, caught herself on the point of saying, that
+she had rarely seen much expression in the countenance of a blonde; but
+she checked the remark, and Sunderland proceeded.
+
+"The lady in question had a splendidly bound album, which she produced
+and talked about on all occasions, and seemed to regard with so much
+pride and admiration, that if a lover could possibly have been jealous
+of a book, I was, at times, very near becoming so. It was half filled
+with amatory verses by juvenile rhymesters, and with tasteless insipid
+drawings in water colours, by boarding-school misses: which drawings my
+Dulcinea persisted in calling paintings. She also persisted in urging me
+to write 'a piece of poetry' in her album, and I persevered in declaring
+my utter inability: as my few attempts at versification had hitherto
+proved entire failures. At last, I reluctantly consented, recollecting
+to have heard of sudden fits of inspiration, and of miraculous gifts of
+poetical genius, with which even milkmaids and cobblers have been
+unexpectedly visited. So taking the album with me, I retired to the
+solitude of my apartment at the City Hall, concluding with Macbeth that
+when a thing is to be well done, 'tis well to do it quickly. Here I
+manfully made my preparations 'to saddle Pegasus and ride up
+Parnassus'--but in vain. With me the winged steed of Apollo was as
+obstinate as a Spanish mule on the Sierra Morena. Not an inch would he
+stir. There was not even the slightest flutter in his pinions; and the
+mountain of the Muses looked to me as inaccessible as--as what shall I
+say--"
+
+"I will help you to a simile," replied Orinda; "as inaccessible as the
+sublime and stupendous precipice to which you West Pointers have given
+the elegant and appropriate title of Butter Hill."
+
+"Exactly," responded Sunderland. "Parnassus looked like Butter Hill.
+Well, then--to be brief (as every man says when he suspects himself to
+be tedious), I sat up till one o'clock, vainly endeavouring to
+manufacture something that might stand for poetry. But I had no rhymes
+for my ideas, and no ideas for my rhymes. I found it impossible to make
+both go together. I at last determined to write my verses in prose till
+I had arranged the sense, and afterwards to put them into measure and
+rhyme. I tried every sort of measure from six feet to ten, and I essayed
+consecutive rhymes and alternate rhymes, but all was in vain. I found
+that I must either sacrifice the sense to the sound, or the sound to the
+sense. At length, I thought of the Bouts Rimées of the French. So I
+wrote down, near the right hand edge of my paper, a whole column of
+familiar rhymes, such as mine, thine, tears, fears, light, bright, &c.
+And now I congratulated myself on having accomplished one-half of my
+task, supposing that I should find it comparatively easy to do the
+filling up. But all was to no purpose. I could effect nothing that I
+thought even tolerable, and I was too proud to write badly and be
+laughed at. However, I must acknowledge that, could I have been certain
+that my 'piece of poetry' would be seen only by the fair damsel herself,
+I might easily have screwed my courage to the sticking place; for
+greatly as I was smitten with the beauty of my little nymph, I had a
+secret misgiving that she had never sacrificed to Minerva."
+
+Our hero paused a moment to admire the radiance of the smile that now
+lighted up the countenance of Orinda.
+
+"In short," continued he, "I sat up till 'night's candles were burnt
+out,' both literally and metaphorically, and I then retired in despair
+to my pillow, from whence I did not rise till ten o'clock in the
+morning.
+
+"That evening I carried back the album to my fair one; but she still
+refused to let me off, and insisted that I should take it with me to
+West Point, to which place I was to return next day. I did so, hoping to
+catch some inspiration from the mountain air, and the mountain scenery.
+I ought to have recollected that few of the poets on record, either
+lived among mountains, or wrote while visiting them. The sons of song
+are too often fated to set up their household gods, and strike their
+lyres, in dark narrow streets and dismal alleys.
+
+"As soon as the steamboat had cleared the city, I took out my
+pocket-book and pencil, and prepared for the onset. I now regarded the
+ever-beautiful scenery of the magnificent Hudson with a new interest. I
+thought the Palisades would do something for me; but my imagination
+remained as sterile and as impenetrable as their eternal rocks. The
+broad expanse of the Tappan Sea lay like a resplendent mirror around me,
+but it reflected no image that I could transfer to my tablets. We came
+into the Highlands, but the old Dundeberg rumbled nothing in my fancy's
+ears, Anthony's Nose looked coldly down upon me, and the Sugar Loaf
+suggested no idea of sweetness. We proceeded along, but Buttermilk Falls
+reminded me not of the fountain of Helicon, and Bull Hill and Breakneck
+Hill seemed too rugged ever to be smoothed into verse.
+
+"That afternoon I went up to Fort Putnam, for the hundred and twentieth
+time in my life. I walked round the dismantled ramparts; I looked into
+their damp and gloomy cells. I thought (as is the duty of every one that
+visits these martial ruins) on the 'pride, pomp, and circumstance of
+glorious war.' But they inspired nothing that I could turn to account in
+my lady's album; nothing that could serve to introduce the compliment
+always expected in the last stanza. And, in truth, this compliment was
+the chief stumbling-block after all. 'But for these vile compliments, I
+might myself have been an album-poet.'"
+
+"Is it then so difficult to compliment a lady?" inquired Orinda.
+
+"Not in plain prose," replied Sunderland, "and when the lady is a little
+_à l'imbecile_, nothing in the world is more easy. But even in prose, to
+compliment a sensible woman as she deserves, and without danger of
+offending her modesty, requires both tact and talent."
+
+"Which I suppose is the reason," said Orinda, "that sensible women
+obtain so few compliments from your sex, and fools so many."
+
+"True," replied Sunderland. "But such compliments as we wish to offer to
+elegant and intellectual females, are as orient pearls compared to
+French beads."
+
+Orinda cast down her beautiful eyes under the expressive glance of her
+admirer. She felt that she was now receiving a pearl.
+
+"But to proceed," continued Sunderland. "I came down from the fort no
+better poet than I went up, and I had recourse again to the solitude of
+my own room. Grown desperate, and determined to get the album off my
+mind and have it over, an idea struck me which I almost blush to
+mention. Promise not to look at me, and I will amaze you with my
+candour."
+
+Orinda pretended to hold her fan before her eyes.
+
+"Are you sure you are not peeping between the stems of the feathers?"
+said Sunderland. "Well, then, now for my confession; but listen to it
+'more in sorrow than in anger,' and remember that the album alone was
+the cause of my desperation and my dishonour. Some Mephistopheles
+whispered in my ear to look among the older poets for something but
+little known, and transfer it as mine to a page in the fatal book. I
+would not, of course, venture on Scott or Moore or Byron; for though I
+doubted whether my lady-love was better versed in _them_ than in the
+bards of Queen Anne's reign, yet I thought that perhaps some of the
+readers of her album might be acquainted with the last and best of the
+minstrels. But on looking over a volume of Pope, I found his 'Song by a
+Person of Quality.'"
+
+"I recollect it," said Orinda; "it is a satire on the amateur
+love-verses of that period,--such as were generally produced by
+fashionable inamoratoes. In these stanzas the author has purposely
+avoided every approach to sense or connexion, but has assembled together
+a medley of smooth and euphonous sounds. And could you risk such verses
+with your Dulcinea?"
+
+"Yes," replied Sunderland; "with _her_ I knew that I was perfectly safe,
+and that she would pronounce them sweet and delightful. And in short,
+that they would exactly suit the calibre of her understanding."
+
+"Yet still," said Orinda, "with such an opinion of her mental
+qualifications, you professed to love this young lady--or rather you
+really loved her--no doubt you did."
+
+"No, no," replied Sunderland, eagerly; "it was only a passing whim--only
+a boyish fancy--such as a man may feel a dozen times before he is
+five-and-twenty, and before he is seriously in love. I should have told
+you that at this period I had not yet arrived at years of discretion."
+
+"I should have guessed it without your telling," said Orinda,
+mischievously.
+
+The young officer smiled, and proceeded.
+
+"I now saw my way clear. So I made a new pen, placed Pope on my desk,
+and sitting down to the album with a lightened spirit, I began with the
+first stanza of his poem:
+
+    'Fluttering spread thy purple pinions,
+      Gentle Cupid, o'er my heart--
+    I a slave in thy dominions,
+      Nature must give way to art.'
+
+And I then added the second and sixth verses, substituting the name of
+my fair one for that of Aurelia."
+
+"What would I not give to know that name!" thought Orinda. "But, in
+those verses," she remarked to Sunderland, "if I recollect aright, there
+is no direct compliment to the lady's beauty."
+
+"But there is a very great one by implication," answered the lieutenant.
+"For instance, the line--'Hear me pay my dying vows.'--What more could I
+profess than to die for love of her! And a lady that is died for, must
+of course be superlatively charming. In short, I finished the verses,
+and I must say they were very handsomely transcribed. Now, do not laugh.
+Is it not more excusable to take some pride in writing a good hand, than
+to boast of scribbling a bad one? I have known persons who seemed
+absolutely to plume themselves on the illegibility of their scrawls;
+because, unfortunately, so many men of genius have indulged in a most
+shameful style of chirography.
+
+"Well, I viewed my performance with much satisfaction, and then
+proceeded to look attentively through the album (I had as yet but
+glanced over it), to see if any one excelled me in calligraphy. What was
+my horror, when I found among a multitude of Lines to Zephyrs and
+Dew-drops, and Stanzas to Rose-buds and Violets, the identical verses
+that I had just copied from Pope! Some other poor fellow, equally hard
+pressed, had been beforehand with me, and committed the very same theft;
+which, in his case, appeared to me enormous. I pronounced it 'flat
+burglary,' and could have consigned him to the penitentiary 'for the
+whole term of his natural life.' To be compelled to commit a robbery is
+bad enough, but to be anticipated in the very same robbery, and to find
+that you have burdened your conscience, and jeoparded your self-respect
+for nothing, is worse still."
+
+"There was one way," observed Orinda, "in which you could have
+extricated yourself from the dilemma. You might have cut out the leaf,
+and written something else on another."
+
+"That was the very thing I finally determined on doing," replied
+Sunderland. "So after a pause of deep distress, I took my penknife, and
+did cut out the leaf: resolving that for my next 'writing-piece,' I
+would go as far back as the poets of Elizabeth's time. While pleasing
+myself with the idea that all was now safe, I perceived, in moving the
+book, that another leaf was working its way out; and I found, to my
+great consternation, that I had cut too deeply, and that I had loosened
+a page on which was faintly drawn in a lady's hand a faint Cupid
+shooting at a faint heart, encircled with a wreath of faint flowers. I
+recollected that my 'fair one with locks of gold,' had pointed out to me
+this performance as 'the sweetest thing in her album.'"
+
+"By-the-bye," remarked Orinda, "when you found so much difficulty in
+composing verses, why did you not substitute a drawing?"
+
+"Oh!" replied the lieutenant, "though I am at no loss in military
+drawing, and can finish my bastions, and counterscarps, and ravelins,
+with all due neatness, yet my miscellaneous sketches are very much in
+the style of scene-painting, and totally unfit to be classed with the
+smooth, delicate, half-tinted prettinesses that are peculiar to ladies'
+albums."
+
+"Now," said Orinda, "I am going to see how you will bear a compliment.
+I know that your drawings are bold and spirited, and such as the artists
+consider very excellent for an amateur, and therefore I will excuse you
+from writing verses in my album, on condition that you make me a sketch,
+in your own way, of my favourite view of Fort Putnam--I mean that fine
+scene of the west side which bursts suddenly upon you when going thither
+by the back road that leads through the woods. How sublime is the
+effect, when you stand at the foot of the dark gray precipice, feathered
+as it is with masses of beautiful foliage, and when you look up to its
+lofty summit, where the living rock seems to blend itself with the
+dilapidated ramparts of the mountain fortress!"
+
+"To attempt such a sketch for Miss Melbourne," replied Sunderland, with
+much animation, "I shall consider both a pleasure and an honour. But
+Loves and Doves, and Roses and Posies, are entirely out of my line, or
+rather out of the line of my pencil. Now, where was I? I believe I was
+telling of my confusion when I found that I had inadvertently cut out
+the young lady's pet Cupid."
+
+"But did it not strike you," said Orinda, "that the easiest course,
+after all, was to go to your demoiselle, and make a candid confession of
+the whole? which she would undoubtedly have regarded in no other light
+than as a subject of amusement, and have been too much diverted to feel
+any displeasure."
+
+"Ah! you must not judge of every one by yourself," replied Sunderland.
+"I thought for a moment of doing what you now suggest, but after a
+little consideration, I more than suspected that my candour would be
+thrown away upon the perverse little damsel that owned the album, and
+that any attempt to take a ludicrous view of the business would
+mortally offend her. All young ladies are not like Miss Orinda
+Melbourne"--(bowing as he spoke).
+
+Orinda turned her head towards the window, and fixed her eyes intently
+on the top of the Crow's Nest. This time the suffusion on her cheeks was
+not in the least doubtful.
+
+"Well, then," continued Sunderland, "that I might remedy the disaster as
+far as possible, I procured some fine paste, and was proceeding to
+cement the leaf to its predecessor, when, in my agitation, a drop of the
+paste fell on the Cupid's face. In trying to absorb it with the corner
+of a clean handkerchief, I 'spread the ruin widely round,' and smeared
+off his wings, which unfortunately grew out of the back of his neck: a
+very pardonable mistake, as the fair artist had probably never seen a
+live Cupid. I was now nearly frantic, and I enacted sundry ravings 'too
+tedious to mention.' The first use I made of my returning senses was to
+employ a distinguished artist (then on a visit to West Point) to execute
+on another leaf, another Cupid, with bow and arrow, heart and roses, &c.
+He made a beautiful little thing, a design of his own, which alone was
+worth a thousand album drawings of the usual sort. I was now quite
+reconciled to the disaster, which had given me an opportunity of
+presenting the young lady with a precious specimen of taste and genius.
+As soon as it was finished, I obtained leave of absence for a few days,
+went down to the city, and, album in hand, repaired to my Brooklyn
+beauty. I knew that, with her, there would be no use in telling the
+whole truth, and nothing but the truth; and I acknowledge, with shame,
+that I suppressed the fact of my copying Pope's verses. I merely said
+that, not being quite satisfied with my poetry, I had cut out the leaf;
+and I then went on to relate the remainder exactly as it happened. As I
+proceeded, I observed her brows beginning to contract, and her lips
+beginning to pout. 'Well, sir,' said she, with her eyes flashing (for I
+now found that even blue eyes could flash), 'I think you have been
+taking great liberties with my album: cutting and clipping it, and
+smearing it with paste, and spoiling my best Cupid, and then getting a
+man to put another picture into it, without asking my leave.'
+
+"Much disconcerted, I made many apologies, all of which she received
+with a very ill grace. I ventured to point out to her the superiority of
+the drawing that had been made by the artist.
+
+"'I see no beauty in it,' she exclaimed; 'the shading is not half so
+much blended as Miss Cottonwool's, and it does not look half so soft.'"
+
+"I have observed," said Orinda, "that persons who in reality know but
+little of the art, always dwell greatly on what they call softness."
+
+"I endeavoured to reconcile her to the drawing," continued Sunderland;
+"but she persisted in saying that it was nothing to compare to Miss
+Cottonwool's, which she alleged was of one delicate tint throughout,
+while this was very light in some places and very dark in others, and
+that she could actually see distinctly where most of the touches were
+put on, 'when in paintings that are really handsome,' said she, 'all the
+shading is blended together, and looks soft.'
+
+"To conclude, she would not forgive me; and, in sober truth, I must
+acknowledge that the petulance and silliness she evinced on this
+occasion, took away much of my desire to be restored to favour. Next
+day, I met her walking on the Battery, in high flirtation with an old
+West Indian planter, who espoused her in the course of a fortnight, and
+carried her to Antigua."
+
+Orinda now gave an involuntary and almost audible sigh; feeling a
+sensation of relief on hearing that her rival by anticipation was
+married and gone, and entirely _hors de combat_.
+
+Mr. and Mrs. Ledbury, who had been taking a long walk, now came in; and
+shortly after, the bell rang for tea. And when Orinda took the offered
+arm of Sunderland (as he conducted her to the table), she felt a
+presentiment that, before many days, the important question would be
+asked and answered.
+
+The evening on which our story commences, was that of the 3d of July,
+1825, and tea was scarcely over at the Mess House when an orderly
+sergeant came round with a notice for the officers to assemble in
+uniform at the dock, to receive General La Fayette, who was expected in
+half an hour.
+
+The guest of the nation had visited the Military Academy soon after his
+arrival in America. He had there been introduced to Cadet Huger, the son
+of that gallant Carolinian who, in conjunction with the generous and
+enterprising Bollman, had so nearly succeeded in the hazardous attempt
+of delivering him from the dungeons of Olmutz.
+
+La Fayette was now on his return from his memorable tour throughout the
+United States. Major Worth,[71] who was in command at West Point during
+the temporary absence of Colonel Thayer, happened to be at Newburgh when
+the steamboat arrived there, in which La Fayette was proceeding down the
+river from Albany to New York; and he invited the General to stop at
+West Point, and remain till the next boat. The invitation was promptly
+accepted, and Major Worth instantly despatched a messenger with the
+intelligence; wishing to give the residents of the post an opportunity
+of making such preparations for the reception of their distinguished
+visiter as the shortness of the time would allow.
+
+[Footnote 71: Afterwards General Worth.]
+
+The officers hastily put on their full dress uniform, and repaired to
+the wharf, or dock, as it was called. The band (at that time the finest
+in America) was already there. The ladies assembled on the high bank
+that overlooks the river, and from thence witnessed the arrival of La
+Fayette.
+
+On the heights above the landing-place, and near the spot where the
+hotel has been since erected, appeared an officer, and a detachment of
+soldiers, waiting, with a lighted match, to commence the salute; for
+which purpose several pieces of artillery had been conveyed thither.
+
+The twilight of a summer evening was accelerated by a vast and heavy
+cloud, portentous of a thunderstorm. It had overspread the west, and
+loured upon the river, on whose yet unruffled waters the giant shadows
+of the mountains were casting a still deeper gloom. Beyond Polipel's
+Island was seen the coming steamboat, looking like an immense star upon
+a level with the horizon. There was a solemn silence all around, which
+was soon broken by the sound of the paddles, that were heard when the
+boat was as far off as Washington's Valley: and, in a few minutes, her
+dense shower of sparks and her wreath of red smoke were vividly defined
+upon the darkening sky.
+
+The boat was soon at the wharf; and, at the moment that La Fayette
+stepped on shore, the officers took off their hats, the band struck up
+Hail Columbia, and, amid the twilight gloom and the darkness of the
+impending thundercloud, it was chiefly by the flashes of the guns from
+the heights that the scene was distinctly visible. The lightning of
+heaven quivered also on the water; and the mountain echoes repeated the
+low rolling of the distant thunder in unison with the loud roar of the
+cannon.
+
+The general, accompanied by his son, and by his secretary, Levasseur,
+walked slowly up the hill, leaning on the arm of Major Worth, preceded
+by the band playing La Fayette's March, and followed by the officers and
+professors of the Institution. When they had ascended to the plain, they
+found the houses lighted up, and the camp of the cadets illuminated
+also. They proceeded to the Mess House, and as soon as they had entered,
+the musicians ranged themselves under the elms in front, and commenced
+Yankee Doodle; the quickstep to which La Fayette, at the head of his
+American division, had marched to the attack at the siege of Yorktown.
+
+While the General was partaking of some refreshment, the officers and
+professors returned for the ladies, all of whom were desirous of an
+introduction to him. Many children were also brought and presented to
+the far-famed European, who had so importantly assisted in obtaining
+for them and for their fathers, the glorious immunities of independence.
+
+The star has now set which shone so auspiciously for our country at that
+disastrous period of our revolutionary struggle--
+
+    "When hope was sinking in dismay,
+    And gloom obscured Columbia's day."
+
+Mouldering into dust is that honoured hand which was clasped with such
+deep emotion by the assembled sons and daughters of the nation in whose
+cause it had first unsheathed the sword of liberty. And soon will that
+noble and generous heart, so replete with truth and benevolence, be
+reduced to "a clod of the valley." Yet, may we not hope that from the
+world of eternity, of which his immortal spirit is now an inhabitant, he
+looks down with equal interest on the land of his nativity, and on the
+land of his adoption: that country so bound to him by ties of
+everlasting gratitude; that country where all were his friends, as he
+was the friend of all.
+
+Tears suffused the beautiful eyes of Orinda Melbourne, when, introduced
+by her lover, she took the offered hand of La Fayette, and her voice
+trembled as she replied to the compliment of the patriot of both
+hemispheres. Sunderland remarked to the son of the illustrious veteran,
+that it gave him much pleasure to see that the General's long and
+fatiguing journey had by no means impaired his healthful appearance, but
+that, on the contrary, he now looked better than he had done on his
+first arrival in America. "Ah!" replied Colonel La Fayette, "how could
+my father suffer from fatigue, when every day was a day of happiness!"
+
+After Orinda had resigned her place to another lady, she said to
+Sunderland, who stood at the back of her chair--"What would I not give
+for La Fayette's autograph in my album!"
+
+"Still harping on the album," said Sunderland, smiling.
+
+"Excuse me this once," replied Orinda. "I begin to think as you do with
+respect to albums, but if nothing else can be alleged in their favour,
+they may, at least, be safe and convenient depositories for mementoes of
+those whose names are their history. All I presume to wish or to hope
+from La Fayette, is simply his signature. But I have not courage myself
+to ask such a favour. Will you convey my request to him?"
+
+"Willingly," answered Sunderland. "But he will grant that request still
+more readily if it comes from your own lips. Let us wait awhile, and I
+will see that you have an opportunity."
+
+In a short time, nearly all the company had departed, except those that
+were inmates of the house. The gentlemen having taken home the ladies,
+returned for the purpose of remaining with La Fayette till the boat came
+along in which he was to proceed to the city.
+
+Orinda took her album; her admirer conducted her to the General, and
+with much confusion she proffered her request; Sunderland brought him a
+standish, and he wrote the name "La Fayette" in the centre of a blank
+page, which our heroine presented to him: it having on each side other
+blank leaves that Orinda determined should never be filled up. Highly
+gratified at becoming the possessor of so valued a signature, she could
+scarcely refrain, in her enthusiasm, from pressing the leaf to her lips,
+when she soon after retired with Mrs. Ledbury.
+
+The officers remained with General La Fayette till the arrival of the
+boat, which came not till near twelve o'clock. They then accompanied him
+to the wharf, and took their final leave. The thunderstorm had gone
+round without discharging its fury on West Point, and everything had
+turned out propitiously for the General's visit; which was perhaps the
+more pleasant for having been so little expected.
+
+The following day was the Fourth of July, and the next was the one fixed
+on by Mr. and Mrs. Ledbury for returning to New York. That morning, at
+the breakfast-table, the number of guests was increased by the presence
+of a Mr. Jenkins, who had come from the city in the same boat with Miss
+Melbourne and her friends, and after passing a few days at West Point,
+had gone up the river to visit some relations at Poughkeepsie, from
+whence he had just returned. Mr. Jenkins was a shallow, conceited,
+over-dressed young man, and, moreover, extremely ugly, though of this
+misfortune he was not in the least aware. He was of a family whose
+wealth had not made them genteel. He professed great politeness to the
+ladies, that is, if they had beauty and money; yet he always declared
+that he would marry nothing under a hundred thousand dollars. But he was
+good-natured; and that, and his utter insignificance, got him along
+tolerably well, for no one ever thought it worth while to be offended at
+his folly and self-sufficiency.
+
+After breakfast, Mrs. Ledbury asked Orinda if she had prevailed on Mr.
+Sunderland to write an article in her album, adding--"I heard you urging
+him to that effect the other day, as I passed the front parlour."
+
+"I found him inexorable, as to writing," replied Orinda.
+
+"Well, really," said Mr. Jenkins, "I don't know how a gentleman can
+reconcile himself to refuse anything a lady asks. And he an officer too!
+For my part, I always hold it my bounden duty to oblige the ladies, and
+never on any account to treat them with _hauteur_, as the French call
+it. To be sure, I am not a marrying man--that is, I do not marry under a
+hundred thousand--but still, that is no reason why I should not be
+always polite and agreeable. _Apropos_, as the French say--_apropos_,
+Miss Melbourne, you know _I_ offered the other day to write something
+for you in your album, and I will do it with all the pleasure in life. I
+am very partial to albums, and quite _au-fait_ to them, to use a French
+term."
+
+"We return to the city this afternoon," said Orinda. "You will scarcely
+have time to add anything to the treasures of _my_ album."
+
+"Oh! it won't take me long," replied Jenkins; "short and sweet is _my_
+motto. There will be quite time enough. You see I have already finished
+my breakfast. I am not the least of a _gourmand_, to borrow a word from
+the French."
+
+Orinda had really some curiosity to see a specimen of Jenkins's poetry:
+supposing that, like the poor cadet's, it might be amusingly bad.
+Therefore, having sent for her album, she put it hastily into Jenkins's
+hand: for at that moment Lieutenant Sunderland, who had, as usual,
+breakfasted at the mess-table with his brother officers, came in to
+invite her to walk with him to Gee's Point. Orinda assented, and
+immediately put on her bonnet, saying to her lover as she left the
+house--
+
+"You know this is one of my favourite walks--I like that fine mass of
+bare granite running far out into the river, and the beautiful view from
+its extreme point. And then the road, by which we descend to it, is so
+charmingly picturesque, with its deep ravine on one side, filled with
+trees and flowering shrubs, and the dark and lofty cliff that towers up
+on the other, where the thick vine wanders in festoons, and the branches
+of the wild rose throw their long streamers down the rock, whose utmost
+heights are crowned with still-lingering remnants of the grass-grown
+ruins of Fort Clinton."
+
+But we question if, on this eventful morning, the beauties of Gee's
+Point were duly appreciated by our heroine, for long before they had
+reached it, her lover had made an explicit avowal of his feelings and
+his hopes, and had obtained from her the promise of her hand: which
+promise was faithfully fulfilled on that day two months.
+
+In the afternoon, Lieutenant Sunderland accompanied Miss Melbourne and
+her friends on their return to the city. Previous to her departure,
+Orinda did not forgot to remind Mr. Jenkins of her album, now doubly
+valuable to her as containing the name of La Fayette, written by his own
+hand.
+
+Jenkins begged a thousand pardons, alleging that the arrival of a friend
+from New York, had prevented him from writing in it, as he had intended.
+"And of course," said he, "I could not put off my friend, as he is one
+of the _élite_ of the city, to describe him in French. However, there is
+time enough yet. Short and sweet, you know"--
+
+"The boat is in sight," said Sunderland.
+
+"Oh! no matter," answered Jenkins. "I can do it in a minute, and I will
+send it down to the boat after you. Miss Melbourne shall have it before
+she quits the wharf. I would on no consideration be guilty of
+disappointing a lady."
+
+And taking with him the album, he went directly to his room.
+
+"You had best go down to the dock," said the cadet, young Melbourne, who
+had come to see his sister off. "There is no time to be lost. I will
+take care that the album reaches you in safety, should you be obliged to
+go without it."
+
+They proceeded towards the river, but they had scarcely got as far as
+Mrs. Thomson's, when a waiter came running after them with the book,
+saying--"Mr. Jenkins's compliments to Miss Melbourne, and all is right."
+
+"Really," said Sunderland, "that silly fellow must have a machine for
+making verses, to have turned out anything like poetry in so short a
+time."
+
+They were scarcely seated on the deck of the steamboat, when Orinda
+opened her album to look for the inspirations of Jenkins's Muse. She
+found no verses. But on the very page consecrated by the hand of La
+Fayette, and immediately under the autograph of the hero, was written,
+in an awkward school-boy character, the name of Jeremiah Jenkins.
+
+
+
+
+THE SET OF CHINA.
+
+     "How thrive the beauties of the graphic art?"--PETER PINDAR.
+
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said Mrs. Atmore, as she entered a certain
+drawing-school, at that time the most fashionable in Philadelphia, "I
+have brought you a new pupil, my daughter, Miss Marianne Atmore. Have
+you a vacancy?"
+
+"Why, I can't say that I have," replied Mr. Gummage; "I never have
+vacancies."
+
+"I am very sorry to hear it," said Mrs. Atmore; and Miss Marianne, a
+tall, handsome girl of fifteen, looked disappointed.
+
+"But perhaps I _could_ strain a point, and find a place for her,"
+resumed Mr. Gummage, who knew very well that he never had the smallest
+idea of limiting the number of his pupils, and that if twenty more were
+to apply, he would take them every one, however full his school might
+be.
+
+"Do, pray, Mr. Gummage," said Mrs. Atmore; "do try and make an exertion
+to admit my daughter; I shall regard it as a particular favour."
+
+"Well, I believe she may come," replied Gummage: "I suppose I can take
+her. Has she any turn for drawing?"
+
+"I don't know," answered Mrs. Atmore; "she has never tried."
+
+"So much the better," said Gummage; "I like girls that have never tried;
+they are much more manageable than those that have been scratching and
+daubing at home all their lives."
+
+Mr. Gummage was no gentleman, either in appearance or manner. But he
+passed for a genius among those who knew nothing of that ill-understood
+race. He had a hooked nose that turned to the right, and a crooked mouth
+that turned to the left--his face being very much out of drawing,--and
+he had two round eyes that in colour and expression resembled two
+hazel-nuts. His lips were "pea-green and blue," from the habit of
+putting the brushes into his mouth when they were overcharged with
+colour. He took snuff illimitably, and generally carried half a dozen
+handkerchiefs, some of which, however, were to wrap his dinner in, as he
+conveyed it from market in his capacious pockets; others, as he said,
+were "to wipe the girl's saucers."
+
+His usual costume was an old dusty brown coat, corduroy pantaloons, and
+a waistcoat that had once been red, boots that had once been black, and
+a low crowned rusty hat--which was never off his head, even in the
+presence of the ladies--and a bandanna cravat. The vulgarity of his
+habits, and the rudeness of his deportment, all passed off under the
+title of eccentricity. At the period when he flourished--it was long
+before the time of Sully--the _beau ideal_ of an artist, at least among
+the multitude, was an ugly, ill-mannered, dirty fellow, that painted an
+inch thick in divers gaudy colours, equally irreconcileable to nature
+and art. And the chief attractions of a drawing master--for Mr. Gummage
+was nothing more--lay in doing almost everything himself, and producing
+for his pupils, in their first quarter, pictures (so called) that were
+pronounced "fit to frame."
+
+"Well, madam," said Mr. Gummage, "what do you wish your daughter to
+learn? figures, flowers, or landscapes?"
+
+"Oh! all three," replied Mrs. Atmore. "We have been furnishing our new
+house, and I told Mr. Atmore that he need not get any pictures for the
+front parlour, as I would much prefer having them all painted by
+Marianne. She has been four quarters with Miss Julia,[72] and has worked
+Friendship and Innocence, which cost, altogether, upwards of a hundred
+dollars. Do you know the piece, Mr. Gummage? There is a tomb with a
+weeping willow, and two ladies with long hair, one dressed in pink, the
+other in blue, holding a wreath between them over the top of the urn.
+The ladies are Friendship. Then on the right hand of the piece is a
+cottage, and an oak, and a little girl dressed in yellow, sitting on a
+green bank, and putting a wreath round the neck of a lamb. Nothing can
+be more natural than the lamb's wool. It is done entirely in French
+knots. The child and the lamb are Innocence."
+
+[Footnote 72: Miss Julianna Bater, an old Moravian lady, from Bethlehem,
+Pennsylvania, who was well known in Philadelphia, many years since, as a
+teacher of embroidery.]
+
+"Ay, ay," said Gummage, "I know the piece well enough--I've drawn them
+by dozens."
+
+"Well," continued Mrs. Atmore, "this satin piece hangs over the front
+parlour mantel. It is much prettier and better done than the one Miss
+Longstitch worked, of Charlotte at the tomb of Werter, though she _did_
+sew silver spangles all over Charlotte's lilac gown, and used chenille,
+at a fi'-penny-bit a needleful, for all the banks and the large tree.
+Now, as the mantel-piece is provided for, I wish a landscape for each of
+the recesses, and a figure-piece to hang on each side of the large
+looking-glass, with flower-pieces under them, all by Marianne. Can she
+do all these in one quarter?"
+
+"No, that she can't," replied Gummage; "it will take her two quarters'
+hard work, and may be three, to get through the whole of them."
+
+"Well, I won't stand about a quarter more or less," said Mrs. Atmore;
+"but what I wish Marianne to do most particularly, and, indeed, the
+chief reason why I send her to drawing-school just now, is a pattern for
+a set of china that we are going to have made in Canton. I was told the
+other day by a New York lady (who was quite tired of the queer,
+unmeaning things which are generally put on India ware), that she had
+sent a pattern for a tea-set, drawn by her daughter, and that every
+article came out with the identical device beautifully done on the
+china, all in the proper colours. She said it was talked of all over New
+York, and that people who had never been at the house before, came to
+look at and admire it. No doubt it was a great feather in her daughter's
+cap."
+
+"Possibly, madam," said Gummage.
+
+"And now," resumed Mrs. Atmore, "since I heard this, I have thought of
+nothing else than having the same thing done in my family; only I shall
+send for a dinner set, and a very long one, too. Mr. Atmore tells me
+that the Voltaire, one of Stephen Girard's ships, sails for Canton early
+next month, and he is well acquainted with the captain, who will attend
+to the order for the china. I suppose in the course of a fortnight
+Marianne will have learnt drawing enough to enable her to do the
+pattern?"
+
+"Oh! yes, madam--quite enough," replied Gummage, suppressing a laugh.
+
+"Very well," said Mrs. Atmore. "And now, Mr. Gummage, let me look at
+some of your models."
+
+"Figures, flowers, or landscapes?" asked the artist.
+
+"Oh! some of each," replied the lady.
+
+Mr. Gummage had so many pupils--both boys and girls--and so many
+classes, and gave lessons besides, at so many boarding-schools, that he
+had no leisure time for receiving applications, and as he kept his
+domicile incog. he saw all his visitors at his school-room. Foreseeing a
+long examination of the prints, he took from a hanging shelf several of
+his numerous portfolios, and having placed them on a table before Mrs.
+Atmore and her daughter, he proceeded to go round and direct his present
+class of young ladies, who were all sitting at the drawing-desks in
+their bonnets and shawls, because the apartment afforded no
+accommodation for these habiliments if laid aside. Each young lady was
+leaning over a straining-frame, on which was pasted a sheet of
+drawing-paper, and each seemed engaged in attempting to copy one of the
+coloured engravings that were fastened by a slip of cleft cane to the
+cord of twine that ran along the wall. The benches were dusty, the floor
+dirty and slopped with spilt water; and the windows, for want of
+washing, looked more like horn than glass. The school-room and teacher
+were all in keeping. Yet for many years Mr. Gummage was so much in
+fashion that no other drawing-masters had the least chance of success.
+Those who recollect the original, will not think his portrait
+overcharged.
+
+We left Mr. Gummage going round his class for the purpose of giving a
+glance, and saying a few words to each.
+
+"Miss Jones, lay down the lid of your paint-box. No rulers shall be used
+in my school, as I have often told you."
+
+"But, Mr. Gummage, only look at the walls of my castle; they are all
+leaning to one side; both the turrets stand crooked, and the doors and
+windows slant every way."
+
+"No matter, it's my rule that nobody shall use a rule. Miss Miller, have
+you rubbed the blue and bistre I told you?"
+
+"Yes, sir; I've been at it all the afternoon; here it is."
+
+"Why, that's not half enough."
+
+"Mr. Gummage, I've rubbed, and rubbed, till my arm aches to the
+shoulder, and my face is all in a glow."
+
+"Then take off your bonnet, and cool yourself. I tell you there's not
+half enough. Why, my boys rub blue and bistre till their faces run of a
+stream. I make them take off their coats to it."
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said one young lady, "you promised to put in my sky
+to-day."
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said another, "I've been waiting for my distances these
+two weeks. How can I go any farther till you have done them for me?"
+
+"Finish the fore-ground to-day. It is time enough for the distances:
+I'll put them in on Friday."
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said another, "my river has been expecting you since last
+Wednesday."
+
+"Why, you have not put in the boat yet. Do the boat to-day, and the
+fisherman on the shore. But look at your bridge! Every arch is of a
+different size--some big, and some little."
+
+"Well, Mr. Gummage, it is your own fault--you should let me use
+compasses. I have a pair in my box--do, pray, let me use them."
+
+"No, I won't. My plan is that you shall all draw entirely by the eye."
+
+"That is the reason we make everything so crooked."
+
+"I see nothing more crooked than yourselves," replied the polite
+drawing-master.
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said another young lady, raising her eyes from a novel
+that she had brought with her, "I have done nothing at my piece for at
+least a fortnight. I have been all the time waiting for you to put in my
+large tree."
+
+"Hush this moment with your babbling, every soul of you," said the
+teacher, in an under tone: "don't you see there are strangers here? What
+an unreasonable pack of fools you are! Can I do everybody's piece at
+once? Learn to have patience, one and all of you, and wait till your
+turn comes."
+
+Some of the girls tossed their heads and pouted, and some laughed, and
+some quitted their desks and amused themselves by looking out at the
+windows. But the instructor turned his back on them, and walked off
+towards the table at which Mrs. Atmore and her daughter were seated with
+the portfolios, both making incessant exclamations of "How
+beautiful!--how elegant!--how sweet!"
+
+"Oh! here are Romeo and Juliet in the tomb scene!" cried Marianne.
+"Look, mamma, is it not lovely?--the very play in which we saw Cooper
+and Mrs. Merry. Oh! do let me paint Romeo and Juliet for the dinner set!
+But stop--here's the Shepherdess of the Alps! how magnificent! I think I
+would rather do that for the china. And here's Mary Queen of Scots; I
+remember her ever since I read history. And here are Telemachus and
+Minerva, just as I translated about them in my Telemaque exercises. Oh!
+let me do them for the dinner set--sha'n't I. Mr. Gummage?"
+
+"I don't see any figure-pieces in which the colours are bright enough,"
+remarked Mrs. Atmore.
+
+"As to that," observed Gummage--who knew that the burthen of the drawing
+would eventually fall on him, and who never liked to do figures--"I
+don't believe that any of these figure pieces would look well if reduced
+so small as to go on china plates."
+
+"Well,--here are some very fine landscapes," pursued Mrs. Atmore;
+"Here's the Cascade of Tivoli--and here's a view in Jamaica--and here's
+Glastonbury Abbey."
+
+"Oh! I dote on abbeys," cried Marianne, "for the sake of Amanda
+Fitzalan."
+
+"Your papa will not approve of your doing this," observed Mrs. Atmore:
+"you know, he says that abbeys are nothing but old tumble-down
+churches."
+
+"If I may not do an abbey, let me do a castle," said Marianne; "there's
+Conway Castle by moonlight--how natural the moon looks!"
+
+"As to castles," replied Mrs. Atmore, "you know your papa says they are
+no better than old jails. He hates both abbeys and castles."
+
+"Well, here is a noble country seat," said Marianne--"'Chiswick House.'"
+
+"Your papa has no patience with country seats," rejoined Mrs. Atmore.
+"He says that when people have made their money, they had better stay in
+town to enjoy it; where they can be convenient to the market, and the
+stores, and the post-office, and the coffee-house. He likes a good
+comfortable three story brick mansion, in a central part of the city,
+with marble steps, iron railings, and green venetian shutters."
+
+"To cut the matter short," said Mr. Gummage, "the best thing for the
+china is a flower piece--a basket, or a wreath--or something of that
+sort. You can have a good cipher in the centre, and the colours may be
+as bright as you please. India ware is generally painted with one colour
+only; but the Chinese are submissive animals, and will do just as they
+are bid. It may cost something more to have a variety of colours; but I
+suppose you will not mind that."
+
+"Oh! no--no," exclaimed Mrs. Atmore, "I shall not care for the price; I
+have set my mind on having this china the wonder of all Philadelphia."
+
+Our readers will understand, that at this period nearly all the
+porcelain used in America was of Chinese manufacture; very little of
+that elegant article having been, as yet, imported from France.
+
+A wreath was selected from the portfolio that contained the engravings
+and drawings of flowers. It was decided that Marianne should first
+execute it the full size of the model (which was as large as nature),
+that she might immediately have a piece to frame; and that she was
+afterwards to make a smaller copy of it, as a border for all the
+articles of the china set; the middle to be ornamented with the letter
+A, in gold, surrounded by the rays of a golden star. Sprigs and tendrils
+of the flowers were to branch down from the border, so as nearly to
+reach the gilding in the middle. The large wreath that was intended to
+frame, was to bear in its centre the initials of Marianne Atmore, being
+the letters M. A., painted in shell gold.
+
+"And so," said Mr. Gummage, "having a piece to frame, and a pattern for
+your china, you'll kill two birds with one stone."
+
+On the following Monday, the young lady came to take her first lesson,
+followed by a mulatto boy, carrying a little black morocco trunk, that
+contained a four row box of Reeves' colours, with an assortment of
+camel's hair pencils, half a dozen white saucers, a water cup, a lead
+pencil, and a piece of India rubber. Mr. Gummage immediately supplied
+her with two bristle brushes, and sundry little shallow earthern cups,
+each containing a modicum of some sort of body colour, masticot, flake
+white, &c., prepared by himself, and charged at a quarter-dollar apiece,
+and which he told her she would want when she came to do landscapes and
+figures.
+
+Mr. Gummage's style was, to put in the sky, water, and distances with
+opaque paints, and the most prominent objects with transparent colours.
+This was probably the reason that his foregrounds seemed always to be
+sunk in his backgrounds. The model was scarcely considered as a guide,
+for he continually told his pupils that they must try to excel it; and
+he helped them to do so by making all his skies deep red fire at the
+bottom, and dark blue smoke at the top; and exactly reversing the
+colours on the water, by putting red at the top, and blue at the bottom.
+The distant mountains were lilac and white, and the near rocks buff
+colour shaded with purple. The castles and abbeys were usually gamboge.
+The trees were dabbed and dotted in with a large bristle brush, so that
+the foliage looked like a green fog. The foam of the cascades resembled
+a concourse of wigs, scuffling together and knocking the powder out of
+each other, the spray being always fizzed on with one of the aforesaid
+bristle brushes. All the dark shadows in every part of the picture were
+done with a mixture of Prussian blue and bistre, and of these two
+colours there was consequently a vast consumption in Mr. Gummage's
+school. At the period of our story, many of the best houses in
+Philadelphia were decorated with these landscapes. But for the honour of
+my townspeople, I must say that the taste for such productions is now
+entirely obsolete. We may look forward to the time, which we trust is
+not far distant, when the elements of drawing will be taught in every
+school, and considered as indispensable to education as a knowledge of
+writing. It has long been our belief that _any_ child may, with proper
+instruction, be made to draw, as easily as any child may be made to
+write. We are rejoiced to find that so distinguished an artist as
+Rembrandt Peale has avowed the same opinion, in giving to the world his
+invaluable little work on Graphics: in which he has clearly demonstrated
+the affinity between drawing and writing, and admirably exemplified the
+leading principles of both.
+
+Marianne's first attempt at the great wreath was awkward enough. After
+she had spent five or six afternoons at the outline, and made it
+triangular rather than circular, and found it impossible to get in the
+sweet pea, and the convolvulus, and lost and bewildered herself among
+the multitude of leaves that formed the cup of the rose, Mr. Gummage
+snatched the pencil from her hand, rubbed out the whole, and then drew
+it himself. It must be confessed that his forte lay in flowers, and he
+was extremely clever at them; "but," as he expressed it, "his scholars
+chiefly ran upon landscapes."
+
+After he had sketched the wreath, he directed Marianne to rub the
+colours for her flowers, while he put in Miss Smithson's rocks.
+
+When Marianne had covered all her saucers with colours, and wasted ten
+times as much as was necessary, she was eager to commence painting, as
+she called it; and in trying to wash the rose with lake, she daubed it
+on of crimson thickness. When Mr. Gummage saw it, he gave her a severe
+reprimand for meddling with her own piece. It was with great difficulty
+that the superabundant colour was removed; and he charged her to let the
+flowers alone till he was ready to wash them for her. He worked a little
+at the piece every day, forbidding Marianne to touch it: and she
+remained idle while he was putting in skies, mountains, &c., for the
+other young ladies.
+
+At length the wreath was finished--Mr. Gummage having only sketched it,
+and washed it, and given it the last touches. It was put into a splendid
+frame, and shown as Miss Marianne Atmore's first attempt at painting;
+and everybody exclaimed, "What an excellent teacher Mr. Gummage must be!
+How fast he brings on his pupils!"
+
+In the mean time, she undertook at home to make the small copy that was
+to go to China. But she was now "at a dead lock," and found it utterly
+impossible to advance a step without Mr. Gummage. It was then thought
+best that she should do it at school--meaning that Mr. Gummage should do
+it for her, while she looked out of the window.
+
+The whole was at last satisfactorily accomplished, even to the gilt star
+with the A in the centre. It was taken home and compared with the larger
+wreath, and found still prettier, and shown as Marianne's, to the envy
+of all mothers whose daughters could not furnish models for china. It
+was finally given in charge to the captain of the Voltaire, with
+injunctions to order a dinner-set exactly according to the pattern--and
+to prevent the possibility of a mistake, a written direction accompanied
+it.
+
+The ship sailed--and Marianne continued three quarters at Mr. Gummage's
+school, where she nominally effected another flower piece, and also
+perpetrated Kemble in Rolla, Edwin and Angelina, the Falls of the Rhine,
+and the Falls of Niagara; all of which were duly framed, and hung in
+their appointed places.
+
+During the year that followed the departure of the ship Voltaire, great
+impatience for her return was manifested by the ladies of the Atmore
+family--anxious to see how the china would look, and frequently hoping
+that the colours would be bright enough, and none of the flowers
+omitted--that the gilding would be rich, and everything inserted in its
+proper place, exactly according to the pattern. Mrs. Atmore's only
+regret was, that she had not sent for a tea-set also; not that she was
+in want of one, but then it would be so much better to have a dinner-set
+and a tea-set precisely alike, and Marianne's beautiful wreath on all.
+
+"Why, my dear," said Mr. Atmore, "how often have I heard you say that
+you would never have another _tea_-set from Canton, because the Chinese
+persist in making the principal articles of such old-fashioned, awkward
+shapes. For my part, I always disliked the tall coffee pots, with their
+straight spouts, looking like light-houses with bowsprits to them; and
+the short, clumsy tea-pots, with their twisted handles, and lids that
+always fall off."
+
+"To be sure," said Mrs. Atmore, "I have been looking forward to the
+time, when we can get a French tea-set upon tolerable terms. But in the
+mean while, I should be very glad to have cups and saucers with
+Marianne's beautiful wreath, and of course, when we use this china on
+the table we shall always bring forward our silver pots."
+
+Spring returned, and there was much watching of the vanes, and great joy
+when they pointed easterly, and the ship-news now became the most
+interesting column of the papers. A vessel that had sailed from New York
+for Canton, on the same day the Voltaire departed for Philadelphia, had
+already got in; therefore the Voltaire might be hourly expected. At
+length she was reported below; and at this period the river Delaware
+suffered much, in comparison with the river Hudson, owing to the
+tediousness of its navigation from the capes to the city.
+
+At last the Voltaire cast anchor at the foot of Market street, and our
+ladies could scarcely refrain from walking down to the wharf to see the
+ship that held the box, that held the china. But invitations were
+immediately sent out for a long projected dinner-party, which Mrs.
+Atmore had persuaded her husband to defer till they could exhibit the
+beautiful new porcelain.
+
+The box was landed, and conveyed to the house. The whole family were
+present at the opening, which was performed in the dining-room by Mr.
+Atmore himself,--all the servants peeping in at the door. As soon as a
+part of the lid was split off, and a handful of straw removed, a pile of
+plates appeared, all separately wrapped in India paper. Each of the
+family snatched up a plate and hastily tore off the covering. There were
+the flowers glowing in beautiful colours, and the gold star and the gold
+A, admirably executed. But under the gold star, on every plate, dish,
+and tureen, were the words, "THIS IN THE MIDDLE!"--being the direction
+which the literal and exact Chinese had minutely copied from a crooked
+line that Mr. Atmore had hastily scrawled on the pattern with a very bad
+pen, and of course without the slightest thought of its being inserted
+_verbatim_ beneath the central ornament.
+
+Mr. Atmore laughed--Mrs. Atmore cried--the servants giggled aloud--and
+Marianne cried first, and laughed afterwards.
+
+The only good that resulted was, that it gave occasion to Mr. Atmore to
+relate the story to his guests whenever he had a dinner-party.
+
+
+
+
+LAURA LOVEL.
+
+     "The world is still deceived with ornament."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Laura Lovel was the eldest surviving daughter of a clergyman settled in
+a retired and beautiful village at the western extremity of the state of
+Massachusetts. Between Laura and her two youngest sisters, three other
+children had died. Being so much their senior, it was in her power to
+assist her father materially in the instruction of Ella and Rosa; as
+after his family had become small, Mr. Lovel thought it best that the
+two little girls should receive all their education at home, and never
+were children that conferred more credit on their teachers. Mrs. Lovel
+was a plain, good woman, of excellent practical sense, a notable
+seamstress, and a first-rate housewife. Few families were more perfectly
+happy, notwithstanding that the limited income of Mr. Lovel (though
+sufficient for comfort) left them little or nothing for superfluities.
+
+They had a very neat house standing in the centre of a flourishing
+garden, in which utility had been the first consideration, though
+blended as far as possible with beauty. The stone fence looked like a
+hedge of nasturtians. The pillars supporting the rustic piazza that
+surrounded the house, were the rough trunks of small trees, with a
+sufficient portion of the chief branches remaining, to afford
+resting-places for the luxuriant masses of scarlet beans that ran over
+them; furnishing, when the blossoms were off, and the green pods full
+grown, an excellent vegetable-dish for the table. The house was shaded
+with fruit-trees exclusively; and the garden shrubs were all raspberry,
+currant, and gooseberry, and the flowers were chiefly those that had
+medicinal properties, or could be turned to culinary purposes--with the
+exception of some that were cultivated purposely for the bees. A meadow
+which pastured two cows and a horse, completed the little domain.
+
+About the time that Laura Lovel had finished her seventeenth year, there
+came to the village of Rosebrook an old friend of her father's, whom he
+had long since lost sight of. They had received their early education at
+the same school, they had met again at college, and had some years after
+performed together a voyage to India; Mr. Brantley as supercargo, Mr.
+Lovel as a missionary. Mr. Brantley had been very successful in
+business, and was now a merchant of wealth and respectability, with a
+handsome establishment in Boston. Mr. Lovel had settled down as pastor
+of the principal church in his native village.
+
+The object of Mr. Brantley's present visit to Rosebrook, was to inquire
+personally into the state of some property he still retained there. Mr.
+Lovel would not allow his old friend to remain at the tavern, but
+insisted that _his_ house should be his abiding place; and they had much
+pleasure in comparing their reminiscences of former times. As their
+chief conversation was on topics common to both, Mr. Lovel did not
+perceive that, except upon mercantile subjects, Mr. Brantley had
+acquired few new ideas since they had last met, and that his reading was
+confined exclusively to the newspapers. But he saw that in quiet
+good-nature, and easiness of disposition, his old friend was still the
+same as in early life.
+
+Mr. Brantley was so pleased with every member of the Lovel family, and
+liked his visit so much, that he was induced to prolong it two days
+beyond his first intention; and he expressed an earnest desire to take
+Laura home with him, to pass a few weeks with his wife and daughter.
+This proposal, however, was declined, with sincere acknowledgments for
+its kindness; Mr. Lovel's delicacy making him unwilling to send his
+daughter, as a guest, to a lady who as yet was ignorant of her
+existence, and Laura sharing in her father's scruples.
+
+Mr. Brantley took his leave: and three months afterwards he paid a
+second visit to Rosebrook, for the purpose of selling his property in
+that neighbourhood. He brought with him a short but very polite letter
+from his wife to Mr. and Mrs. Lovel, renewing the invitation for Laura,
+and pressing it in a manner that could scarcely be withstood. Mr. Lovel
+began to waver; Mrs. Lovel thought it was time that Laura should see a
+little of the world, and Laura's speaking looks told how much pleasure
+she anticipated from the excursion. The two little girls, though their
+eyes filled at the idea of being separated from their beloved sister,
+most magnanimously joined in entreating permission for her to go, as
+they saw that she wished it. Finally, Mr. Lovel consented; and Laura
+seemed to tread on air while making her preparations for the journey.
+
+That evening, at the hour of family worship, her father laid his hand on
+Laura's head, and uttered a fervent prayer for the preservation of her
+health and happiness during her absence from the paternal roof. Mrs.
+Lovel and all her daughters were deeply affected, and Mr. Brantley
+looked very much inclined to participate in their emotion.
+
+Early next morning Mr. Brantley's chaise was at the door, and Laura took
+leave of the family with almost as many tears and kisses as if she had
+been going to cross the Atlantic. Little Ella, who was about eight years
+old, presented her, at parting, with a very ingenious needle-book of her
+own making, and Rosa, who was just seven, gave her as a keepsake an
+equally clever pincushion. She promised to bring them new books, and
+other little presents from Boston, a place in which they supposed
+everything that the world produced, could be obtained without
+difficulty.
+
+Finally, the last farewell was uttered, the last kiss was given, and
+Laura Lovel took her seat in the chaise beside Mr. Brantley, who drove
+off at a rapid pace; and in a few moments a turn in the road hid from
+her view the house of her father, and the affectionate group that still
+lingered at its gate, to catch the latest glimpse of the vehicle that
+was bearing away from them the daughter and the sister.
+
+As they proceeded on their journey, Laura's spirits gradually revived,
+and she soon became interested or delighted with everything she beheld;
+for she had a quick perception, with a mind of much intelligence and
+depth of observation.
+
+The second day of their journey had nearly closed, before the spires of
+the Boston churches, and the majestic dome of the State House, met the
+intense gaze of our heroine. Thousands of lights soon twinkled over the
+city of the three hills, and the long vistas of lamps that illuminated
+the bridges, seemed to the unpractised eyes of Laura Lovel to realize
+the glories of the Arabian Nights. "Oh!" she involuntarily exclaimed,
+"if my dear little sisters could only be with me now!"
+
+As they entered by the western avenue, and as Mr. Brantley's residence
+was situated in the eastern part of the city, Laura had an opportunity
+of seeing as she passed a vast number of lofty, spacious, and
+noble-looking dwelling-houses, in the erection of which the patrician
+families of Boston have perhaps surpassed all the other aristocracies of
+the Union; for, sternly republican as are our laws and institutions, it
+cannot be denied that in private life every section of our commonwealth
+has its aristocracy.
+
+At length they stopped at Mr. Brantley's door, and Laura had a very
+polite reception from the lady of the mansion, an indolent,
+good-natured, insipid woman, the chief business of whose life was dress
+and company. Mr. Brantley had purchased a large and handsome house in
+the western part of the town, to which the family were to remove in the
+course of the autumn, and it was Mrs. Brantley's intention, when they
+were settled in their new and elegant establishment, to get into a
+higher circle, and to have weekly _soirées_. To make her parties the
+more attractive, she was desirous of engaging some very pretty young
+lady (a stranger with a new face) to pass the winter with her. She had
+but one child, a pert, forward girl, about fourteen, thin, pale, and
+seeming "as if she suffered a great deal in order to look pretty." She
+sat, stood, and moved, as if in constant pain from the tightness of her
+corsets, the smallness of her sleeve-holes, and the narrowness of her
+shoes. Her hair, having been kept long during the whole period of her
+childhood, was exhausted with incessant tying, brushing, and curling,
+and she was already obliged to make artificial additions to it. It was
+at this time a mountain of bows, plaits, and puffs; and her costume was
+in every respect that of a woman of twenty. She was extremely anxious to
+"come out," as it is called, but her father insisted on her staying in,
+till she had finished her education; and her mother had been told that
+it was very impolitic to allow young ladies to "appear in society" at
+too early an age, as they were always supposed to be older than they
+really were, and therefore would be the sooner considered _passé_.
+
+After tea, Mrs. Brantley reclined herself idly in one of the
+rocking-chairs, Mr. Brantley retired to the back parlour to read
+undisturbed the evening papers, and Augusta took up some bead-work,
+while Laura looked over the Souvenirs with which the centre-table was
+strewed.
+
+"How happy you must be, Miss Brantley," said Laura, "to have it in your
+power to read so many new books!"
+
+"As to reading," replied Augusta, "I never have any time to spare for
+that purpose; what with my music, and my dancing, and my lessons in
+French conversation, and my worsted-work, and my bead-work; then I have
+every day to go out shopping, for I always _will_ choose everything for
+myself. Mamma has not the least idea of my taste; at least, she never
+remembers it. And then there is always some business with the
+mantua-makers and milliners. And I have so many morning visits to pay
+with mamma--and in the afternoon I am generally so tired that I can do
+nothing but put on a wrapper, and throw myself on the bed, and sleep
+till it is time to dress for evening."
+
+"Oh!" thought Laura Lovel, "how differently do we pass our time at
+Rosebrook!--Is not this a beautiful engraving?" she continued, holding
+one of the open Souvenirs towards Augusta.
+
+"Yes--pretty enough," replied Augusta, scarcely turning her head to look
+at it.--"Mamma, do not you think I had better have my green pelerine cut
+in points rather than in scollops?"
+
+"I think," replied Mrs. Brantley, "that scollops are the prettiest."
+
+"Really, mamma," said Augusta, petulantly, "it is very peculiar in you
+to say so, when you ought to know that scollops have had their day, and
+that points have come round again."
+
+"Very well, then, my love," replied Mrs. Brantley, indolently, "consult
+your own taste."
+
+"That I always do," said Augusta, half aside to Laura, who, addressing
+herself to Mrs. Brantley, made some inquiry about the last new novel.
+
+"I cannot say that I have read it," answered Mrs. Brantley; "at least, I
+don't know that I have. Augusta, my love, do you recollect if you have
+heard me say anything about the last new book--the--a--the--what is it
+you call it, Miss Lovel?"
+
+"La! mamma," said Augusta, "I should as soon expect you to write a book
+as to read one."
+
+There was a pause for a minute or two. Augusta then leaning back towards
+her mother, exclaimed, "Upon second thoughts, I think I will have the
+green pelerine scolloped, and the blue one pointed. But the points
+shall be squared at the ends--on that I am determined."
+
+Laura now took up a volume of the juvenile annual, entitled the Pearl,
+and said to Augusta, "You have most probably a complete set of the
+Pearl."
+
+"After all, mamma," pursued Augusta, "butterfly bows are much prettier
+than shell-bows. What were you saying just now, Miss Lovel, about my
+having a set of pearls?--you may well ask;"--looking spitefully towards
+the back-parlour, in which her father was sitting. "Papa holds out that
+he will not give me a set till I am eighteen; and as to gold chains, and
+corals, and cornelians, I am sick of them, and I won't wear them at all;
+so you see me without any ornaments whatever, which you must think very
+peculiar."
+
+Laura had tact enough to perceive that any further attempt at a
+conversation on books would be unavailing; and she made some inquiry
+about the annual exhibition of pictures at the Athenæum.
+
+"I believe it is a very good one," replied Mrs. Brantley. "We stopped
+there one day on our way to dine with some friends out of town. But as
+the carriage was waiting, and the horses were impatient, we only stayed
+a few minutes, just long enough to walk round."
+
+"Oh! yes, mamma," cried Augusta; "and don't you recollect we saw Miss
+Darford there in a new dress of lavender-coloured grenadine, though
+grenadines have been over these hundred years. And there was pretty Mrs.
+Lenham, as the gentlemen call her, in a puce-coloured italianet, though
+italianets have been out for ages. And don't you remember Miss Grover's
+canary-coloured reps bonnet, that looked as if it had been made in the
+ark. The idea of any one wearing reps! a thing that has not been seen
+since the flood! Only think of reps!"
+
+Laura Lovel wondered what _reps_ could possibly be. "Now I talk of
+bonnets," pursued Augusta; "pray, mamma, did you tell Miss Pipingcord
+that I would have my Tuscan Leghorn trimmed with the lilac and green
+riband, instead of the blue and yellow?"
+
+"Indeed," replied Mrs. Brantley, "I found your cousin Mary so extremely
+ill this afternoon when I went to see her, and my sister so very uneasy
+on her account, that I absolutely forgot to call at the milliner's, as I
+had promised you."
+
+"Was there ever anything so vexatious!" exclaimed Augusta, throwing
+down her bead-work. "Really, mamma, there is no trusting you at all. You
+never remember to do anything you are desired." And flying to the bell,
+she rang it with violence.
+
+"I could think of nothing but poor Mary's danger," said Mrs. Brantley,
+"and the twenty-five leeches that I saw on her forehead."
+
+"Dreadful!" ejaculated Augusta. "But you might have supposed that the
+leeches would do her good, as, of course, they will. Here, William,"
+addressing the servant-man that had just entered, "run as if you were
+running for your life to Miss Pipingcord, the milliner, and tell her
+upon no account whatever to trim Miss Brantley's Tuscan Leghorn with the
+blue and yellow riband that was decided on yesterday. Tell her I have
+changed my mind, and resolved upon the lilac and green. Fly as if you
+had not another moment to live, or Miss Pipingcord will have already
+trimmed the bonnet with the blue and yellow."
+
+"And then," said Mrs. Brantley, "go to Mrs. Ashmore's, and inquire how
+Miss Mary is this evening."
+
+"Why, mamma," exclaimed Augusta, "aunt Ashmore lives so far from Miss
+Pipingcord's, that it will be ten or eleven o'clock before William gets
+back, and I shall be all that time on thorns to know if she has not
+already disfigured my bonnet with the vile blue and yellow."
+
+"Yesterday," said Mrs. Brantley, "you admired that very riband
+extremely."
+
+"So I did," replied Augusta, "but I have been thinking about it since,
+and, as I tell you, I have changed my mind. And now that I have set my
+heart upon the lilac and green, I absolutely detest the blue and
+yellow."
+
+"But I am really very anxious to know how Mary is to-night," said Mrs.
+Brantley.
+
+"Oh!" replied Augusta, "I dare say the leeches have relieved her. And if
+they have not, no doubt Dr. Warren will order twenty-five more--or
+something else that will answer the purpose. She is in very good
+hands--I am certain that in the morning we shall hear she is
+considerably better. At all events, I _will not_ wear the hateful blue
+and yellow riband.--William, what are you standing for?"
+
+The man turned to leave the room, but Mrs. Brantley called him back.
+"William," said she, "tell one of the women to go to Mrs. Ashmore's and
+inquire how Miss Mary is."
+
+"Eliza and Matilda are both out," said William, "and Louisa is crying
+with the toothache, and steaming her face over hot yerbs. I guess she
+won't be willing to walk so far in the night-air, just out of the
+steam."
+
+"William," exclaimed Augusta, stamping with her foot, "don't stand here
+talking, but go at once; there's not a moment to lose. Tell Miss
+Pipingcord if she _has_ put on that horrid riband, she must take it off
+again, and charge it in the bill, if she pretends she can't afford to
+lose it, as I dare say she will; and tell her to be sure and send the
+bonnet home early in the morning--I am dying to see it."
+
+To all this, Laura Lovel had sat listening in amazement, and could
+scarcely conceive the possibility of the mind of so young a girl being
+totally absorbed in things that concerned nothing but external
+appearance. She had yet to learn that a passion for dress, when
+thoroughly excited in the female bosom, and carried to excess, has a
+direct tendency to cloud the understanding, injure the temper, and
+harden the heart.
+
+Till the return of William, Augusta seemed indeed to be on thorns. At
+last he came, and brought with him the bonnet, trimmed with the blue and
+yellow. Augusta snatched it out of the bandbox, and stood speechless
+with passion, and William thus delivered his message from the
+milliner:--
+
+"Miss Pippincod sends word that she had riband'd the bonnet afore I come
+for it--she says she has used up all her laylock green for another
+lady's bonnet, as chose it this very afternoon; and she guesses you
+won't stand no chance of finding no more of it, if you sarch Boston
+through; and she says she shew you all her ribands yesterday, and you
+chose the yellow blue yourself, and she han't got no more ribands as
+you'd be likely to like. Them's her very words."
+
+"How I hate milliners!" exclaimed Augusta; and ringing for the maid that
+always assisted her in undressing, she flounced out of the room and went
+to bed.
+
+"Miss Lovel," said Mrs. Brantley, smiling, "you must excuse dear
+Augusta. She is extremely sensitive about everything, and that is the
+reason she is apt to give way to these little fits of irritation."
+
+Laura retired to her room, grieving to think how unamiable a young girl
+might be made, by the indulgence of an inordinate passion for dress.
+
+Augusta's cousin Mary did not die.
+
+The following day was to have been devoted to shopping, and to making
+some additions to the simple wardrobe of Laura Lovel, for which purpose
+her father had given her as much money as he could possibly spare. But
+it rained till late in the afternoon, and Mrs. Brantley's coach was out
+of order, and the Brantleys (like many other families that kept
+carriages of their own) could not conceive the possibility of _hiring_ a
+similar vehicle upon any exigency whatever.
+
+It is true that the present case was in reality no exigency at all; but
+Mrs. Brantley and her daughter seemed to consider it as such, from the
+one watching the clouds all day as she sat at the window, in her
+rocking-chair, and the other wandering about like a troubled spirit,
+fretting all the time, and complaining of the weather. Laura got through
+the hours very well, between reading Souvenirs (almost the only books in
+the house) and writing a long letter to inform her family of her safe
+arrival, and to describe her journey. Towards evening, a coach was heard
+to stop at the door, and there was a violent ringing, followed by a loud
+sharp voice in the entry, inquiring for Mrs. Brantley, who started from
+her rocking-chair, as Augusta exclaimed, "Miss Frampton!--I know 'tis
+Miss Frampton!" The young lady rushed into the hall, while her mother
+advanced a few steps, and Mr. Brantley threw down his paper, and
+hastened into the front-parlour with a look that expressed anything but
+satisfaction.
+
+There was no time for comment or preparation. The sound was heard of
+baggage depositing, and in a few moments Augusta returned to the
+parlour, hanging lovingly on the arm of a lady in a very handsome
+travelling dress, who flew to Mrs. Brantley and kissed her familiarly,
+and then shook hands with her husband, and was introduced by him to our
+heroine.
+
+Miss Frampton was a fashionable-looking woman, of no particular age. Her
+figure was good, but her features were the contrary, and the expression
+of her eye was strikingly bad. She had no relations, but she talked
+incessantly of her _friends_--for so she called every person whom she
+knew by sight, provided always that they were _presentable_ people. She
+had some property, on the income of which she lived, exercising close
+economy in everything but dress. Sometimes she boarded out, and
+sometimes she billeted herself on one or other of these said friends,
+having no scruples of delicacy to deter her from eagerly availing
+herself of the slightest hint that might be construed into the semblance
+of an invitation. In short, she was assiduous in trying to get
+acquainted with everybody from whom anything was to be gained,
+flattering them to their faces, though she abused them behind their
+backs. Still, strange to tell, she had succeeded in forcing her way into
+the outworks of what is called society. She dressed well, professed to
+know everybody, and to go everywhere, was _au fait_ of all the gossip of
+the day, and could always furnish ample food for the too prevailing
+appetite for scandal. Therefore, though every one disliked Miss
+Frampton, still every one tolerated her; and though a notorious
+calumniator, she excited so much fear, that it was generally thought
+safer to keep up some slight intercourse with her, than to affront her
+by throwing her off entirely.
+
+Philadelphia was her usual place of residence; but she had met the
+Brantley family at the Saratoga Springs, had managed to accompany them
+to New York on their way home, had boarded at Bunker's during the week
+they stayed at that house, had assisted them in their shopping
+expeditions, and professed a violent regard for Augusta, who professed
+the same for her. Mrs. Brantley's slight intimation "that she should be
+glad to see her if ever she came to Boston," Miss Frampton had now taken
+advantage of, on pretext of benefiting by change of air. Conscious of
+her faded looks, but still hoping to pass for a young woman, she
+pretended always to be in precarious health, though of this there was
+seldom any proof positive.
+
+On being introduced to Laura Lovel, as to a young lady on a visit to the
+family, Miss Frampton, who at once considered her an interloper,
+surveyed our heroine from head to foot, with something like a sneer, and
+exchanged significant glances with Augusta.
+
+As soon as Miss Frampton had taken her seat, "My dear Mrs. Brantley,"
+said she, "how delighted I am to see you! And my sweet Augusta, too! Why
+she has grown a perfect sylph!"
+
+After hearing this, Augusta could not keep her seat five minutes
+together, but was gliding and flitting about all the remainder of the
+evening, and hovering round Miss Frampton's chair.
+
+Miss Frampton continued, "Yes, my dear Mrs. Brantley, my health has, as
+usual, been extremely delicate. My friends have been seriously alarmed
+for me, and all my physicians have been quite miserable on my account.
+Dr. Dengue has been seen driving through the streets like a madman, in
+his haste to get to me. Poor man!--you must have heard the report of
+his suffering Mrs. Smith's baby to die with the croup, from neglecting
+to visit it, which, if true, was certainly in very bad taste. However,
+Dr. Dengue is one of my oldest friends, and a most charming man."
+
+"But, as I was saying, my health still continued delicate,
+and excitement was unanimously recommended by the medical
+gentlemen--excitement and ice-cream. And as soon as this was known in
+society, it is incredible how many parties were made for me, and how
+many excursions were planned on my account. I had carriages at my door
+day and night. My friends were absolutely dragging me from each other's
+arms. Finally they all suggested entire change of air, and total change
+of scene. So I consented to tear myself awhile from my beloved
+Philadelphia, and pay you my promised visit in Boston."
+
+"We are much obliged to you," said Mrs. Brantley. "And really," pursued
+Miss Frampton, "I had so many engagements on my hands, that I had fixed
+five different days for starting, and disappointed five different
+escorts. My receiving-room was like a levee every morning at visiting
+hours, with young gentlemen of fashion, coming to press their services,
+as is always the case when it is reported in Philadelphia that Miss
+Frampton has a disposition to travel. A whole procession of my friends
+accompanied me to the steamboat, and I believe I had more than a dozen
+elegant smelling-bottles presented to me--as it is universally known how
+much I always suffer during a journey, being deadly sick on the water,
+and in a constant state of nervous agitation while riding."
+
+"And who did you come with at last?" asked Mrs. Brantley.
+
+"Oh! with my friends the Twamberleys, of your city," replied Miss
+Frampton. "The whole family had been at Washington, and as soon as I
+heard they were in Philadelphia on their return home, I sent to
+inquire--that is, or rather, I mean, _they_ sent to inquire as soon as
+they came to town, and heard that I intended visiting Boston--they sent
+to inquire if I would make them happy by joining their party."
+
+"Well," observed Mr. Brantley, "I cannot imagine how you got along with
+all the Twamberleys. Mr. Twamberley, besides being a clumsy, fat man,
+upwards of seventy years old, and lame with the gout, and nearly quite
+deaf, and having cataracts coming on both eyes, is always obliged to
+travel with his silly young wife, and the eight children of her first
+husband, and I should think he had enough to do in taking care of
+himself and them. I wonder you did not prefer availing yourself of the
+politeness of some of the single gentlemen you mentioned."
+
+"Oh!" replied Miss Frampton, "any of them would have been too happy, as
+they politely expressed it, to have had the pleasure of waiting on me to
+Boston. Indeed, I knew not how to make a selection, being unwilling to
+offend any of them by a preference. And then again, it is always in
+better taste for young ladies to travel, and, indeed, to go everywhere,
+under the wing of a married woman. I dote upon chaperones; and by coming
+with this family, I had Mrs. Twamberley to matronize me. I have just
+parted with them all at their own door, where they were set down."
+
+Mr. Brantley smiled when he thought of Mrs. Twamberley (who had been
+married to her first husband at fifteen, and was still a blooming
+girlish looking woman) matronizing the faded Miss Frampton, so evidently
+by many years her senior.
+
+Laura Lovel, though new to the world, had sufficient good sense and
+penetration to perceive almost immediately, that Miss Frampton was a
+woman of much vanity and pretension, and that she was in the habit of
+talking with great exaggeration; and in a short time she more than
+suspected that many of her assertions were arrant falsehoods--a fact
+that was well known to all those numerous persons that Miss Frampton
+called her _friends_.
+
+Tea was now brought in, and Miss Frampton took occasion to relate in
+what manner she had discovered that the famous silver urn of that
+charming family, the Sam Kettlethorps, was, in reality, only
+plated--that her particular favourites, the Joe Sowerbys, showed such
+bad taste at their great terrapin supper, as to have green hock-glasses
+for the champagne; and that those delightful people, the Bob Skutterbys,
+the first time they attempted the new style of heaters at a venison
+dinner, had them filled with spirits of turpentine, instead of spirits
+of wine.
+
+Next morning, Miss Frampton did not appear at the breakfast-table, but
+had her first meal carried into her room, and Augusta breakfasted with
+her. Between them Laura Lovel was discussed at full length, and their
+conclusion was, that she had not a single good feature--that her
+complexion was nothing, her figure nothing, and her dress worse than
+nothing.
+
+"I don't suppose," said Augusta, "that her father has given her much
+money to bring to town with her."
+
+"To be sure he has not," replied Miss Frampton, "if he is only a poor
+country clergyman. I think it was in very bad taste for him to let her
+come at all."
+
+"Well," said Augusta, "we must take her a shopping this morning, and try
+to get her fitted out, so as to make a decent appearance at Nahant, as
+we are going thither in a few days."
+
+"Then I have come just in the right time," said Miss Frampton. "Nahant
+is the very place I wish to visit--my sweet friend Mrs. Dick Pewsey has
+given me such an account of it. She says there is considerable style
+there. She passed a week at Nahant when she came to Boston last summer."
+
+"Oh! I remember her," cried Augusta. "She was a mountain of blonde
+lace."
+
+"Yes," observed Miss Frampton, "and not an inch of that blonde has yet
+been paid for, or ever will be; I know it from good authority."
+
+They went shopping, and Augusta took them to the most fashionable store
+in Washington street, where Laura was surprised and confused at the
+sight of the various beautiful articles shown to them. Even their names
+perplexed her. She knew very well what gros de Naples was (or gro de
+nap, as it is commonly called), but she was at a loss to distinguish
+gros de Berlin, gros de Suisse, gros des Indes, and all the other gros.
+Augusta, however, was au fait of the whole, and talked and flitted, and
+glided; producing, as she supposed, great effect among the young
+salesmen at the counters. Miss Frampton examined everything with a
+scrutinizing eye, undervalued them all, and took frequent occasions to
+say that they were far inferior to similar articles in Philadelphia.
+
+At length, a very light-coloured figured silk, with a very new name, was
+selected for Laura. The price appeared to her extremely high, and when
+she heard the number of yards that were considered necessary, she
+faintly asked "if less would not do." Miss Frampton sneered, and Augusta
+laughed out, saying, "Don't you see that the silk is very narrow, and
+that it has a wrong side and a right side, and that the flowers have a
+top and a bottom? So as it cannot be turned every way, a larger quantity
+will be required."
+
+"Had I not better choose a plain silk," said Laura, "one that is wider,
+and that _can_ be turned any way?"
+
+"Oh! plain silks are so common," replied Augusta; "though, for a change,
+they are well enough. I have four. But this will be best for Nahant. We
+always dress to go there; and, of course, we expect all of our party to
+do the same."
+
+"But really this silk is so expensive," whispered Laura.
+
+"Let the dress be cut off," said Miss Frampton, in a peremptory tone. "I
+am tired of so much hesitation. Tis in very bad taste."
+
+The dress _was_ cut off, and Laura, on calculating the amount, found
+that it would make a sad inroad on her little modicum. Being told that
+she must have also a new printed muslin, one was chosen for her with a
+beautiful sky blue for the predominant colour, and Laura found that this
+also was a very costly dress. She was next informed that she could not
+be presentable without a French pelerine of embroidered muslin.
+
+Pelerines in great variety were then produced, and Laura found, to her
+dismay, that the prices were from ten to twenty-five dollars. She
+declined taking one, and Miss Frampton and Augusta exchanged looks which
+said, as plainly as looks could speak, "I suppose she has not money
+enough."
+
+Laura coloured--hesitated--at last false pride got the better of her
+scruples. The salesman commended the beauty of the pelerines;
+particularly of one tied up in the front, and ornamented on the
+shoulders, with bows of blue riband--and our heroine yielded, and took
+it at fifteen dollars; those at ten dollars being voted by Miss Frampton
+"absolutely mean."
+
+After this, Laura was induced to supply herself with silk stockings and
+white kid gloves, "of a new style," and was also persuaded to give five
+dollars for a small scarf, also of a new style. And when all these
+purchases were made, she found that three quarters of a dollar were all
+that remained in her purse. Augusta also bought several new articles;
+but Miss Frampton got nothing. However, she insisted afterwards on going
+into every fancy store in Washington street--not to buy, but "to see
+what they had": and gave much trouble in causing the salesmen needlessly
+to display their goods to her, and some offence by making invidious
+comparisons between their merchandise and that of Philadelphia. By the
+time all this shopping was over, the clock of the Old South had struck
+two, and it was found expedient to postpone till next day the intended
+visit to the milliner and mantua-maker, Miss Frampton and Augusta
+declaring that, of afternoons, they were never fit for anything but to
+throw themselves on the bed and go to sleep. Laura Lovel, fatigued both
+in body and mind, and feeling much dissatisfied with herself, was glad
+of a respite from the pursuit of finery, though it was only till next
+morning; and she was almost "at her wit's end" to know in what way she
+was to pay for having her dress made--much less for the fashionable new
+bonnet which her companions insisted on her getting--Augusta giving more
+than hints, that if she went with the family to Nahant, they should
+expect her "to look like other people;" and Miss Frampton signifying in
+loud whispers, that "those who were unable to make an appearance, had
+always better stay at home."
+
+In the evening there were some visitors, none of whom were very
+entertaining or agreeable, though all the ladies were excessively
+dressed. Laura was reminded of the homely proverb, "Birds of a feather
+flock together." The chief entertainment was listening to Augusta's
+music, who considered herself to play and sing with wonderful execution.
+But to the unpractised ears and eyes of our heroine, it seemed nothing
+more than an alternate succession of high shrieks and low murmurs,
+accompanied by various contortions of the face, sundry bowings and
+wavings of the body, great elevation of the shoulders and squaring of
+the elbows, and incessant quivering of the fingers, and throwing back of
+the hands. Miss Frampton talked all the while in a low voice to a lady
+that sat next to her, and turned round at intervals to assure Augusta
+that her singing was divine, and that she reminded her of Madame Feron.
+
+Augusta had just finished a very great song, and was turning over her
+music-books in search of another, when a slight ring was heard at the
+street door, and as William opened it, a weak, hesitating voice inquired
+for Miss Laura Lovel, adding, "I hope to be excused. I know I ought not
+to make so free; but I heard this afternoon that Miss Laura, eldest
+daughter of the Reverend Edward Lovel of Rosebrook, Massachusetts, is
+now in this house, and I have walked five miles into town, for the
+purpose of seeing the young lady. However, I ought not to consider the
+walk as anything, and it was improper in me to speak of it at all. The
+young lady is an old friend of mine, if I may be so bold as to say so."
+
+"There's company in the parlour," said William, in a tone not over
+respectful; "very particular company."
+
+"I won't meddle with any of the company," proceeded the voice. "I am
+very careful never to make myself disagreeable. But I just wish (if I am
+not taking too great a liberty) to see Miss Laura Lovel."
+
+"Shall I call her out," said William.
+
+"I would not for the world give her the trouble," replied the stranger.
+"It is certainly my place to go to the young lady, and not hers to come
+to me. I always try to be polite. I hope you don't find me unpleasant."
+
+"Miss Lovel," said Miss Frampton, sneeringly, "this must certainly be
+_your_ beau."
+
+The parlour-door being open, the whole of the preceding dialogue had
+been heard by the company, and Miss Frampton, from the place in which
+she sat, had a view of the stranger, as he stood in the entry.
+
+William, then, with an unsuppressed grin, ushered into the room a
+little, thin, weak-looking man, who had a whitish face, and dead light
+hair, cut straight across his forehead. His dress was scrupulously neat,
+but very unfashionable. He wore a full suit of yellowish brown cloth,
+with all the gloss on. His legs were covered with smooth cotton
+stockings, and he had little silver knee-buckles. His shirt collar and
+cravat were stiff and blue, the latter being tied in front with very
+long ends, and in his hand he held a blue bandanna handkerchief,
+carefully folded up. His whole deportment was stiff and awkward.
+
+On entering the room, he bowed very low with a peculiar jerk of the
+head, and his whole appearance and manner denoted the very acme of
+humility. The company regarded him with amazement, and Miss Frampton
+began to whisper, keeping her eye fixed on him all the time. Laura
+started from her chair, hastened to him, and holding out her hand,
+addressed him by the name of Pyam Dodge. He took the proffered hand,
+after a moment of hesitation, and said, "I hope I am properly sensible
+of your kindness, Miss Laura Lovel, in allowing me to take your hand,
+now that you are grown. Many a time have I led you to my school, when I
+boarded at your respected father's, who I trust is well. But now I would
+not, on any account, be too familiar."
+
+(Laura pointed to a chair.)
+
+"But which is the mistress of the house? I know perfectly well that it
+is proper for me to pay my respects to her, before I take the liberty of
+sitting down under her roof. If I may presume to say that I understand
+anything thoroughly, it is certainly good manners. In my school, manners
+were always perfectly well taught--my own manners, I learned chiefly
+from my revered uncle, Deacon Ironskirt, formerly of Wicketiquock, but
+now of Popsquash."
+
+Laura then introduced Pyam Dodge to the lady of the house, who received
+him civilly, and then to Mr. Brantley, who, perceiving that the poor
+schoolmaster was what is called a character, found his curiosity excited
+to know what he would do next.
+
+This ceremony over, Pyam Dodge bowed round to each of the company
+separately. Laura saw at once that he was an object of ridicule; and his
+entire want of tact, and his pitiable simplicity, had never before
+struck her so forcibly. She was glad when, at last, he took a seat
+beside her, and, in a low voice, she endeavoured to engage him in a
+conversation that should prevent him from talking to any one else. She
+found that he was master of a district school about five miles from
+Boston, and that he was perfectly contented--for more than that he had
+never aspired to be.
+
+But vain were the efforts of our heroine to keep Pyam Dodge to herself,
+and to prevent him from manifesting his peculiarities to the rest of the
+company. Perceiving that Augusta had turned round on her music-stool to
+listen and to look at him, the schoolmaster rose on his feet, and bowing
+first to the young lady, and then to her mother, he said: "Madam, I am
+afraid that I have disturbed the child while striking on her
+pyano-forty. I would on no account cause any interruption--for that
+might be making myself disagreeable. On the contrary, it would give me
+satisfaction for the child to continue her exercise, and I shall esteem
+it a privilege to hear how she plays her music. I have taught singing
+myself."
+
+Augusta then, by desire of her mother, commenced a new bravura, which
+ran somehow thus:--
+
+Oh! drop a tear, a tender tear--oh! drop a tear, a tender, tender tear.
+Oh! drop, oh! drop, oh! dro-o-op a te-en-der te-e-ear--a tender tear--a
+tear for me--a tear for me; a tender tear for me.
+
+When I, when I, when I-I-I am wand'ring, wand'ring, wand'ring, wand'ring
+far, far from thee--fa-a-ar, far, far, far from thee--from thee.
+
+For sadness in--for sadness in, my heart, my heart shall reign--shall
+re-e-e-ign--my hee-e-art--for sa-a-adness in my heart shall reign--shall
+reign.
+
+Until--until--unti-i-il we fondly, fondly meet again, we fondly meet,
+we fo-o-ondly me-e-et--until we fondly, fondly, fondly meet--meet, meet,
+meet again--we meet again.
+
+This song (in which the silliness of the words was increased tenfold by
+the incessant repetition of them), after various alternations of high
+and low, fast and slow, finished in thunder, Augusta striking the
+concluding notes with an energy that made the piano tremble.
+
+When the bravura was over, Pyam Dodge, who had stood listening in
+amazement, looked at Mrs. Brantley, and said: "Madam, your child must
+doubtless sing that song very well when she gets the right tune."
+
+"The right tune!" interrupted Augusta, indignantly.
+
+"The right tune!" echoed Mrs. Brantley and Miss Frampton.
+
+"Yes," said Pyam Dodge, solemnly--"and the right words also. For what I
+have just heard is, of course, neither the regular tune nor the proper
+words, as they seem to go every how--therefore I conclude that all this
+wandering and confusion was caused by the presence of strangers: myself,
+in all probability, being the greatest stranger, if I may be so bold as
+to say so. This is doubtless the reason why she mixed up the words at
+random, and repeated the same so often, and why her actions at the
+pyano-forty are so strange. I trust that at other times she plays and
+sings so as to give the proper sense."
+
+Augusta violently shut down the lid of the piano, and gave her father a
+look that implied: "Won't you turn him out of the house?" But Mr.
+Brantley was much diverted, and laughed audibly.
+
+Pyam Dodge surveyed himself from head to foot, ascertained that his
+knee-buckles were fast, and his cravat not untied, and, finding all his
+clothes in complete order, he said, looking round to the company: "I
+hope there is nothing ridiculous about me. It is my endeavour to appear
+as well as possible; but the race is not always to the swift, nor the
+battle to the strong."
+
+"Upon my word," said Miss Frampton, leaning across the centre-table to
+Mrs. Brantley, "your _protegée_ seems to have a strange taste in her
+acquaintances. However, that is always the case with people who have
+never been in society, as my friend Mrs. Tom Spradlington justly
+remarks."
+
+A waiter with refreshments was now brought in, and handed round to the
+company. When it came to Pyam Dodge, he rose on his feet, and thanked
+the man for handing it to him; then, taking the smallest possible
+quantity of each of the different articles, he put all on the same
+plate, and, unfolding his blue bandanna, he spread it carefully and
+smoothly over his knees, and commenced eating with the smallest possible
+mouthfuls, praising everything as he tasted it. The wine being offered
+to him, he respectfully declined it, signifying that he belonged to the
+Temperance Society. But he afterwards took a glass of lemonade, on being
+assured that it was not punch, and again rising on his feet, he drank
+the health of each of the company separately, and not knowing their
+names, he designated them as the lady in the blue gown, the lady in the
+white gown, the gentleman in the black coat, &c.
+
+This ceremony over, Pyam Dodge took out an old-fashioned silver watch,
+of a shape almost globular, and looking at the hour, he made many
+apologies for going away so soon, having five miles to walk, and
+requested that his departure might not break up the company. He then
+bowed all round again--told Laura he would thank her for her hand,
+which, on her giving him, he shook high and awkwardly, walked backwards
+to the door and ran against it, trusted he had made himself agreeable,
+and at last departed.
+
+The front-door had scarcely closed after him, when a general laugh took
+place, which even Laura could scarcely refrain from joining in.
+
+"Upon my word, Miss Lovel," said Augusta, "this friend of yours is the
+most peculiar person I ever beheld."
+
+"I never saw a man in worse taste," remarked Miss Frampton.
+
+In a moment another ring was heard at the door, and on its being opened,
+Pyam Dodge again made his appearance in the parlour, to beg pardon of
+the lady of the house, for not having returned thanks for his
+entertainment, and also to the _young_ lady for her music, which, he
+said, "was doubtless well meant." He then repeated his bows and
+withdrew.
+
+"What an intolerable fool!" exclaimed Augusta.
+
+"Indeed," replied Laura Lovel, "he is, after all, not deficient in
+understanding, though his total want of tact, and his entire ignorance
+of the customs of the world, give an absurdity to his manner, which I
+confess it is difficult to witness without a smile. I have heard my
+father say that Pyam Dodge is one of the best classical scholars he ever
+knew, and he is certainly a man of good feelings, and of irreproachable
+character."
+
+"I never knew a bore that was not," remarked Miss Frampton.
+
+There was again a ring at the door, and again Pyam Dodge was ushered in.
+His business now was to inform Miss Laura Lovel, that if she did not see
+him every day during her residence in Boston, she must not impute the
+infrequency of his visits to any disrespect on his part, but rather to
+his close confinement to the duties of his school--besides which, his
+leisure time was much occupied in studying Arabic; but he hoped to make
+his arrangements, so as to be able to come to town and spend at least
+three evenings with her every week.
+
+At this intimation there were such evident tokens of disapproval, on the
+part of the Brantley family and Miss Frampton, and of embarrassment on
+that of Laura, that poor Pyam Dodge, obtuse as he was to the things of
+this world, saw that the announcement of his visits was not perfectly
+well received. He looked amazed at this discovery, but bowed lower than
+ever, hoped he was not disgusting, and again retreated.
+
+Once more was heard at the door the faint ring that announced the
+schoolmaster. "Assuredly," observed a gentleman present, "this must be
+the original Return Strong."
+
+This time, however, poor Pyam Dodge did not venture into the parlour,
+but was heard meekly to inquire of the servant, if he had not dropped
+his handkerchief in the hall. The handkerchief was picked up, and he
+finally departed, humbly hoping "that the gentleman attending the door,
+had not found him troublesome." The moment he was gone, the gentleman
+that attended the door was heard audibly to put down the dead-latch.
+
+Next day Augusta Brantley gave a standing order to the servants, that
+whenever Miss Lovel's schoolmaster came, he was to be told that the
+whole family were out of town.
+
+In the morning, Laura was conveyed by Augusta and Miss Frampton to the
+mantua-maker's, and Miss Boxpleat demurred a long time about undertaking
+the two dresses, and longer still about finishing them that week, in
+consequence of the vast quantity of work she had now on hand. Finally
+she consented, assuring Laura Lovel that she only did so to oblige Miss
+Brantley.
+
+Laura then asked what would be her charge for making the dresses. Miss
+Boxpleat reddened, and vouchsafed no reply; Miss Frampton laughed out,
+and Augusta twitched Laura's sleeve, who wondered what _faux pas_ she
+had committed, till she learned in a whisper, that it was an affront to
+the dressmaker to attempt to bargain with her beforehand, and our
+heroine, much disconcerted, passively allowed herself to be fitted for
+the dresses.
+
+Laura had a very pretty bonnet of the finest and whitest split straw,
+modestly trimmed with white lutestring riband; but her companions told
+her that there was no existing without a dress-hat, and she was
+accordingly carried to Miss Pipingcord's. Here they found that all the
+handsomest articles of this description were already engaged, but they
+made her bespeak one of a very expensive silk, trimmed with flowers and
+gauze riband, and when she objected to the front, as exposing her whole
+face to the summer sun, she was told that of course she must have a
+blonde gauze veil. "We will stop at Whitaker's," said Augusta, "and see
+his assortment, and you can make the purchase at once." Laura knew that
+she could not, and steadily persisted in her refusal, saying that she
+must depend on her parasol for screening her face.
+
+Several other superfluities were pressed upon our poor heroine, as they
+proceeded along Washington street; Augusta really thinking it
+indispensable that Laura should be fashionably and expensively dressed,
+and Miss Frampton feeling a malignant pleasure in observing how much
+these importunities confused and distressed her.
+
+Laura sat down to dinner with an aching head, and no appetite, and
+afterwards retired to her room, and endeavoured to allay her uneasiness
+with a book.
+
+"So," said Miss Frampton to Mrs. Brantley, "this is the girl that dear
+Augusta tells me you think of inviting to pass the winter with you."
+
+"Why, is she not very pretty?" replied Mrs. Brantley.
+
+"Not in my eye," answered Miss Frampton. "Wait but two years, till my
+sweet Augusta is old enough and tall enough to come out, and you will
+have no occasion to invite beauties, for the purpose of drawing company
+to your house--for, of course, I cannot but understand the motive; and
+pray, how can the father of this girl enable her to make a proper
+appearance? When she has got through the two new dresses that we had so
+much difficulty in persuading her to venture upon, is she to return to
+her black marcelline?--You certainly do not intend to wrong your own
+child by going to the expense of dressing out this parson's daughter
+yourself. And, after all, these green young girls do not draw company
+half so well as ladies a few years older--decided women of ton, who are
+familiar with the whole routine of society, and have the veritable _air
+distingué_. One of that description would do more for your soirées, next
+winter, than twenty of these village beauties."
+
+Next day our heroine's new bonnet came home, accompanied by a bill of
+twelve dollars. She had supposed that the price would not exceed seven
+or eight. She had not the money, and her embarrassment was increased by
+Miss Frampton's examining the bill, and reminding her that there was a
+receipt to it. Laura's confusion was so palpable, that Mrs. Brantley
+felt some compassion for her, and said to the milliner's girl, "The
+young lady will call at Miss Pipingcord's, and pay for her hat." And the
+girl departed, first asking to have the bill returned to her, as it was
+receipted.
+
+When our heroine and her companions were out next morning, they passed
+by the milliner's, and Laura instinctively turned away her head. "You
+can now call at Miss Pipingcord's and pay her bill," said Miss Frampton.
+"It is here that she lives--don't you see her name on the door?"
+
+"I have not the money about me," said Laura, in a faltering voice--"I
+have left my purse at home." This was her first attempt at a subterfuge,
+and conscience-struck, she could not say another word during the walk.
+
+On the last day of the week, her dresses were sent home, with a bill of
+eleven dollars for making the two, not including what are called the
+trimmings, all of which were charged at about four times their real
+cost. Laura was more confounded than ever. Neither Mrs. Brantley nor
+Augusta happened to be present, but Miss Frampton was, and understood it
+all. "Can't you tell the girl you will call and settle Miss Boxpleat's
+bill?" said she. "Don't look so confused"--adding in a somewhat lower
+voice, "she will suspect you have no money to pay with--really, your
+behaviour is in very bad taste."
+
+Laura's lip quivered, and her cheek grew pale. Miss Frampton could
+scarcely help laughing, to see her so new to the world, and at last
+deigned to relieve her by telling Miss Boxpleat's girl that Miss Lovel
+would call and settle the bill.
+
+The girl was scarcely out of the room, when poor Laura, unable to
+restrain herself another moment, hid her face against one of the
+cushions of the ottoman, and burst into tears. The flinty heart of Miss
+Frampton underwent a momentary softening. She looked awhile in silence
+at Laura, and then said to her, "Why, you seem to take this very much to
+heart."
+
+"No wonder," replied Laura, sobbing--"I have expended all my money; all
+that my father gave me at my departure from home. At least I have only
+the merest trifle left; and how am I to pay either the milliner's bill,
+or the mantua-maker's?"
+
+Miss Frampton deliberated for a few moments, walked to the window, and
+stood there awhile--then approached the still weeping Laura, and said to
+her, "What would you say if a friend was to come forward to relieve you
+from this embarrassment?"
+
+"I have no friend," replied Laura, in a half-choked voice--"at least
+none here. Oh! how I wish that I had never left home!"
+
+Miss Frampton paused again, and finally offered Laura the loan of
+twenty-five dollars, till she could get money from her father. "I know
+not," said Laura, "how I can ask my father so soon for any more money. I
+am convinced that he gave me all he could possibly spare. I have done
+very wrong in allowing myself to incur expenses which I am unable to
+meet. I can never forgive myself. Oh! how miserable I am!" And she again
+covered her face and cried bitterly.
+
+Miss Frampton hesitated--but she had heard Mr. Brantley speak of Mr.
+Lovel as a man of the strictest integrity, and she was certain that he
+would strain every nerve, and redouble the economy of his family
+expenditure, rather than allow his daughter to remain long under
+pecuniary obligations to a stranger. She felt that she ran no risk in
+taking from her pocket-book notes to the amount of twenty-five dollars,
+and putting them into the hands of Laura, who had thought at one time of
+applying to Mr. Brantley for the loan of a sufficient sum to help her
+out of her present difficulties, but was deterred by a feeling of
+invincible repugnance to taxing any farther the kindness of her host,
+conceiving herself already under sufficient obligations to him as his
+guest, and a partaker of his hospitality. However, had she known more of
+the world and had a greater insight into the varieties of the human
+character, she would have infinitely preferred throwing herself on the
+generosity of Mr. Brantley, to becoming the debtor of Miss Frampton. As
+it was, she gratefully accepted the proffered kindness of that lady,
+feeling it a respite. Drying her tears, she immediately equipped herself
+for walking, hastened both to the milliner and the mantua-maker, and
+paying their bills, she returned home with a lightened heart.
+
+Laura Lovel had already begun to find her visit to the Brantley family
+less agreeable than she had anticipated. They had nothing in common with
+herself; their conversation was neither edifying nor entertaining. They
+had few books, except the Annuals; and though she passed the Circulating
+Libraries with longing eyes, she did not consider that she was
+sufficiently in funds to avail herself of their contents. No
+opportunities were offered her of seeing any of the shows of the city,
+and of those that casually fell in her way, she found her companions
+generally more ignorant than herself. They did not conceive that a
+stranger could be amused or interested with things that, having always
+been within their own reach, had failed to awaken in _them_ the
+slightest curiosity. Mr. Brantley was infinitely the best of the family;
+but he was immersed in business all day, and in the newspapers all the
+evening. Mrs. Brantley was nothing, and Augusta's petulance and
+heartlessness, and Miss Frampton's impertinence (which somewhat
+increased after she lent the money to Laura), were equally annoying. The
+visitors of the family were nearly of the same stamp as its members.
+
+Laura, however, had looked forward with much anticipated pleasure to the
+long-talked-of visit to the sea-shore; and in the mean time her chief
+enjoyment was derived from the afternoon rides that were occasionally
+taken in Mr. Brantley's carriage, and which gave our heroine an
+opportunity of seeing something of the beautiful environs of Boston.
+
+Miss Frampton's fits of kindness were always very transient, and Laura's
+deep mortification at having been necessitated to accept a favour from
+such a woman, was rendered still more poignant by unavoidably
+overhearing (as she was dressing at her toilet-table that stood between
+two open windows) the following dialogue; the speakers being two of Mrs.
+Brantley's servant girls that were ironing in the kitchen porch, and who
+in talking to each other of the young ladies, always dropped the title
+of Miss:
+
+"Matilda," said one of them, "don't you hear Laura's bell? Didn't she
+tell you arter dinner, that she would ring for you arter a while, to
+come up stairs and hook the back of her dress."
+
+"Yes," replied Matilda--"I hear it as plain as you do, Eliza; but I
+guess I shan't go till it suits me. I'm quite beat out with running up
+stairs from morning to night to wait on that there Philadelphy woman, as
+she takes such high airs. Who but she indeed! Any how, I'm not a going
+to hurry. I shall just act as if I did not hear no bell at all--for as
+to this here Laura, I guess she an't much. Augusta told me this morning,
+when she got me to fix her hair, that Miss Frampton told her that Laura
+axed and begged her, amost on her bare knees, to lend her some money to
+pay for her frocks and bunnet."
+
+"Why, how could she act so!" exclaimed Eliza.
+
+"Because," resumed Matilda, "her people sent her here without a copper
+in her pocket. So I guess they're a pretty shabby set, after all."
+
+"I was judging as much," said Eliza, "by her not taking no airs, and
+always acting so polite to everybody."
+
+"Well now," observed Matilda, "Mr. Scourbrass, the gentleman as lives
+with old Madam Montgomery, at the big house, in Bowdin Square, and helps
+to do her work, always stands out that very great people of the rale
+sort, act much better, and an't so apt to take airs as them what are
+upstarts."
+
+"Doctors differ," sagely remarked Eliza. "However, as you say, I don't
+believe this here Laura _is_ much; and I'm thinking how she'll get along
+at Nahant. Miss Lathersoap, the lady as washes her clothes, told me,
+among other things, that Laura's pocket-handkerchers are all quite
+plain--not a worked or a laced one among them. Now our Augusta would
+scorn to carry a plain handkercher, and so would her mother."
+
+"I've taken notice of Laura's handkerchers myself," said Matilda, "and I
+don't see why we young ladies as lives out, and does people's work to
+oblige them, should be expected to run at the beck and call of any
+strangers they may choose to take into the house; let alone when they're
+not no great things."
+
+Laura retreated from the open windows, that she might hear no more of a
+conversation so painful to her. She would at once have written to her
+father, told him all, and begged him, if he possibly could, to send her
+money enough to repay Miss Frampton, but she had found, by a letter
+received the day before, that he had gone on some business to the
+interior of Maine, and would not be home in less than a fortnight.
+
+Next day was the one finally appointed for their removal to Nahant, and
+our heroine felt her spirits revive at the idea of beholding, for the
+first time in her life, "the sea, the sea, the open sea." They went in
+Mr. Brantley's carriage, and Laura understood that she _might_ ride in
+her black silk dress and her straw bonnet.
+
+They crossed at the Winnisimmet Ferry, rode through Chelsea, and soon
+arrived at the flourishing town of Lynn, where every man was making
+shoes, and every woman binding them. The last sunbeams were glowing in
+the west, when they came to the beautiful Long Beach that connects the
+rocks of Lynn with those of Nahant, the sand being so firm and smooth
+that the shadow of every object is reflected in it downwards. The tide
+was so high that they drove along the verge of the surf, the horses'
+feet splashing through the water, and trampling on the shells and
+sea-weed left by the retiring waves. Cattle, as they went home, were
+cooling themselves by wading breast high in the breakers; and the little
+sand-birds were sporting on the crests of the billows, sometimes flying
+low, and dipping into the water the white edges of their wings, and
+sometimes seeming, with their slender feet, to walk on the surface of
+the foam. Beyond the everlasting breakers rolled the unbounded ocean,
+the haze of evening coming fast upon it, and the full moon rising broad
+and red through the misty veil of the eastern horizon.
+
+Laura Lovel felt as if she could have viewed this scene for ever, and at
+times she could not refrain from audibly expressing her delight. The
+other ladies were deeply engaged in listening to Miss Frampton's account
+of a ball and supper given by her intimate friend, that lovely woman,
+Mrs. Ben Derrydown, the evening before Mr. Ben Derrydown's last failure,
+and which ball and supper exceeded in splendour anything she had ever
+witnessed, except the wedding-party of her sweet love, Mrs. Nick
+Rearsby, whose furniture was seized by the sheriff a few months after;
+and the birth-night concert at the coming out of her darling pet, Kate
+Bolderhurst, who ran away next morning with her music-master.
+
+Our party now arrived at the Nahant Hotel, which was full of visitors,
+with some of whom the Brantleys were acquainted. After tea, when the
+company adjourned to the lower drawing-rooms, the extraordinary beauty
+of Laura Lovel drew the majority of the gentlemen to that side of the
+apartment on which the Brantley family were seated. Many introductions
+took place, and Mrs. Brantley felt in paradise at seeing that _her_
+party had attracted the greatest number of beaux. Miss Frampton
+generally made a point of answering everything that was addressed to
+Laura; and Augusta glided, and flitted, and chattered much impertinent
+nonsense to the gentlemen on the outskirts of the group, that were
+waiting for an opportunity of saying something to Miss Lovel.
+
+Our heroine was much confused at finding herself an object of such
+general attention, and was also overwhelmed by the officious volubility
+of Miss Frampton, though none of it was addressed to _her_. Mrs.
+Maitland, a lady as unlike Mrs. Brantley as possible, was seated on the
+other side of Laura Lovel, and was at once prepossessed in her favour,
+not only from the beauty of her features, but from the intelligence of
+her countenance. Desirous of being better acquainted, and seeing that
+Laura's present position was anything but pleasant to her, Mrs. Maitland
+proposed that they should take a turn in the veranda that runs round the
+second story of the hotel. To this suggestion Laura gladly assented--for
+she felt at once that Mrs. Maitland was just the sort of woman she would
+like to know. There was a refinement and dignity in her appearance and
+manner that showed her to be "every inch a lady;" but that dignity was
+tempered with a frankness and courtesy that put every one around her
+immediately at their ease. Though now in the autumn of life, her figure
+was still good--her features still handsome, but they derived their
+chief charm from the sensible and benevolent expression of her fine open
+countenance. Her attire was admirably suited to her face and person; but
+she was not over-dressed, and she was evidently one of those fortunate
+women who, without bestowing much time and attention upon it, are _au
+fait_ of all that constitutes a correct and tasteful costume.
+
+Mrs. Maitland took Laura's arm within hers, and telling Mrs. Brantley
+that she was going to carry off Miss Lovel for half an hour, she made a
+sign to a fine-looking young man on the other side of the room, and
+introduced him as her son, Mr. Aubrey Maitland. He conducted the two
+ladies up stairs to the veranda, and in a few minutes our heroine felt
+as if she had been acquainted with the Maitlands for years. No longer
+kept down and oppressed by the night-mare influence of fools, her spirit
+expanded, and breathed once more. She expressed, without hesitation,
+her delight at the scene that presented itself before her--for she felt
+that she was understood.
+
+The moon, now "high in heaven," threw a solemn light on the trembling
+expanse of the ocean, and glittered on the spray that foamed and
+murmured for ever round the rocks that environed the little peninsula,
+their deep recesses slumbering in shade, while their crags and points
+came out in silver brightness. Around lay the numerous islands that are
+scattered over Boston harbour, and far apart glowed the fires of two
+light-houses, like immense stars beaming on the verge of the horizon;
+one of them, a revolving light, alternately shining out and
+disappearing. As a contrast to the still repose that reigned around, was
+the billiard-room (resembling a little Grecian temple), on a promontory
+that overlooked the sea--the lamps that shone through its windows,
+mingling with the moon-beams, and the rolling sound of the
+billiard-balls uniting with the murmur of the eternal waters.
+
+Mrs. Maitland listened with corresponding interest to the animated and
+original comments of her new friend, whose young and enthusiastic
+imagination had never been more vividly excited; and she drew her out,
+till Laura suddenly stopped, blushing with the fear that she had been
+saying too much. Before they returned to the drawing-room, Aubrey was
+decidedly and deeply in love.
+
+When Laura retired to her apartment, she left the window open, that she
+might from her pillow look out upon the moonlight sea, and be fanned by
+the cool night breeze that gently rippled its waters; and when she was
+at last lulled to repose by the monotonous dashing of the surf against
+the rocks beneath her casement, she had a dream of the peninsula of
+Nahant--not as it now is, covered with new and tasteful buildings, and a
+favourite resort of the fashion and opulence of Boston, but as it must
+have looked two centuries ago, when the seals made their homes among its
+caverned rocks, and when the only human habitations were the rude huts
+of the Indian fishers, and the only boats their canoes of bark and
+skins.
+
+When she awoke from her dream, she saw the morning-star sparkling high
+in the east, and casting on the dark surface of the sea a line of light
+which seemed to mimic that of the moon, long since gone down beyond the
+opposite horizon. Laura rose at the earliest glimpse of dawn to watch
+the approaches of the coming day. A hazy vapour had spread itself over
+the water, and through its gauzy veil she first beheld the red rim of
+the rising sun, seeming to emerge from its ocean bed. As the sun
+ascended, the mist slowly rolled away, and "the light of morning smiled
+upon the wave," and tinted the white sails of a little fleet of
+outward-bound fishing-boats.
+
+At the breakfast table the majority of the company consisted of ladies
+only: most of the gentlemen (including Aubrey Maitland) having gone in
+the early steamboat to attend to their business in the city. After
+breakfast, Laura proposed a walk, and Augusta and Miss Frampton, not
+knowing what else to do with themselves, consented to accompany her. A
+certain Miss Blunsdon (who, being an heiress, and of a patrician family,
+conceived herself privileged to do as she pleased, and therefore made it
+her pleasure to be a hoyden and a slattern), volunteered to pioneer
+them, boasting of her intimate knowledge of every nook and corner of the
+neighbourhood. Our heroine, by particular desire of Augusta and Miss
+Frampton, had arrayed herself that morning in her new French muslin,
+with what they called its proper accompaniments.
+
+Miss Blunsdon conducted the party to that singular cleft in the rocks,
+known by the name of the Swallow's Cave, in consequence of its having
+been formerly the resort of those birds, whose nests covered its walls.
+Miss Frampton stopped as soon as they came in sight of it, declaring
+that it was in bad taste for ladies to scramble about such rugged
+places, and Augusta agreeing that a fancy for wet, slippery rocks was
+certainly very peculiar. So the two friends sat down on the most level
+spot they could find, while Miss Blunsdon insisted on Laura's following
+her to the utmost extent of the cave, and our heroine's desire to
+explore this wild and picturesque recess made her forgetful of the
+probable consequences to her dress.
+
+Miss Blunsdon and Laura descended into the cleft, which, as they
+proceeded, became so narrow as almost to close above their heads; its
+lofty and irregular walls seeming to lose themselves in the blue sky.
+The passage at the bottom was in some places scarcely wide enough to
+allow them to squeeze through it. The tide was low, yet still the
+stepping-stones, loosely imbedded in the sand and sea-weed, were nearly
+covered with water. But Laura followed her guide to the utmost extent of
+the passage, till they looked out again upon the sea.
+
+When they rejoined their companions--"Oh! look at your new French
+muslin," exclaimed Augusta to Laura. "It is draggled half way up to your
+knees, and the salt water has already taken the colour out of it--and
+your pelerine is split down the back--and your shoes are half off your
+feet, and your stockings are all over wet sand. How very peculiar you
+look!"
+
+Laura was now extremely sorry to find her dress so much injured, and
+Miss Frampton comforted her by the assurance that it would never again
+be fit to be seen. They returned to the hotel, where they found Mrs.
+Maitland reading on one of the sofas in the upper hall. Laura was
+hastily running up stairs, but Augusta called out--"Mrs. Maitland, do
+look at Miss Lovel--did you ever see such a figure? She has demolished
+her new dress, scrambling through the Swallow's Cave with Miss
+Blunsdon." And she ran into the ladies' drawing-room to repeat the story
+at full length, while Laura retired to her room to try some means of
+remedying her disasters, and to regret that she had not been permitted
+to bring with her to Nahant some of her gingham morning dresses. The
+French muslin, however, was incurable; its blue, though very beautiful,
+being of that peculiar cast which always fades into a dull white when
+wet with water.
+
+Miss Frampton remained a while in the hall: and taking her seat beside
+Mrs. Maitland, said to her in a low confidential voice--"Have you not
+observed, Mrs. Maitland, that when people, who are nobody, attempt
+dress, they always overdo it. Only think of a country clergyman's
+daughter coming to breakfast in so expensive a French muslin, and then
+going out in it to clamber about the rocks, and paddle among the wet
+sea-weed. Now you will see what a show she will make at dinner in a
+dress, the cost of which would keep her whole family in comfortable
+calico gowns for two years. I was with her when she did her shopping,
+and though, as a friend, I could not forbear entreating her to get
+things that were suitable to her circumstances and to her station in
+life, she turned a deaf ear to everything I said (which was certainly in
+very bad taste), and she would buy nothing but the most expensive and
+useless frippery. I suppose she expects to catch the beaux by it. But
+when they find out who she is, I rather think they will only nibble at
+the bait--Heavens! what a wife she will make! And then such a want of
+self-respect, and even of common integrity. Of course you will not
+mention it--for I would on no consideration that it should go any
+farther--but between ourselves. I was actually obliged to lend her money
+to pay her bills."
+
+Mrs. Maitland, thoroughly disgusted with her companion, and disbelieving
+the whole of her gratuitous communication, rose from the sofa and
+departed without vouchsafing a reply.
+
+At dinner, Laura Lovel appeared in her new silk, and really looked
+beautifully. Miss Frampton, observing that our heroine attracted the
+attention of several gentlemen who had just arrived from the city, took
+an opportunity, while she was receiving a plate of chowder from one of
+the waiters, to spill part of it on Laura's dress.
+
+"I beg your pardon, Miss Lovel," said she; "when I took the soup I did
+not perceive that you and your new silk were beside me."
+
+Laura began to wipe her dress with her pocket-handkerchief. "Now don't
+look so disconcerted," pursued Miss Frampton, in a loud whisper. "It is
+in very bad taste to appear annoyed when an accident happens to your
+dress. People in society always pass off such things, as of no
+consequence whatever. I have apologized for spilling the soup, and what
+more can I do?"
+
+Poor Laura was not in _society_, and she knew that to _her_ the accident
+_was_ of consequence. However, she rallied, and tried to appear as if
+she thought no more of the mischance that had spoiled the handsomest and
+most expensive dress she had ever possessed. After dinner she tried to
+remove the immense grease-spot by every application within her reach,
+but had no success.
+
+When she returned to the drawing-room, she was invited to join a party
+that was going to visit the Spouting Horn, as it is generally
+denominated. She had heard this remarkable place much talked of since
+her arrival at Nahant, and she certainly felt a great desire to see it.
+Mrs. Maitland had letters to write, and Mrs. Brantley and Miss Frampton
+were engaged in their siesta; but Augusta was eager for the walk, as she
+found that several gentlemen were going, among them Aubrey Maitland, who
+had just arrived in the afternoon boat. His eyes sparkled at the sight
+of our heroine, and offering her his arm, they proceeded with the rest
+of the party to the Spouting Horn. This is a deep cavity at the bottom
+of a steep ledge of rocks, and the waves, as they rush successively into
+it with the tide, are immediately thrown out again by the action of a
+current of air which comes through a small opening at the back of the
+recess, the spray falling round like that of a cascade or fountain. The
+tide and wind were both high, and Laura was told that the Spouting Horn
+would be seen to great advantage.
+
+Aubrey Maitland conducted her carefully down the least rugged declivity
+of the rock, and gave her his hand to assist her in springing from point
+to point. They at length descended to the bottom of the crag. Laura was
+bending forward with eager curiosity, and looking steadfastly into the
+wave-worn cavern, much interested in the explosions of foaming water,
+which was sometimes greater and sometimes less. Suddenly a blast of wind
+twisted her light dress-bonnet completely round, and broke the sewing of
+one of the strings, and the bonnet was directly whirled before her into
+the cavity of the rock, and the next moment thrown back again amidst a
+shower of sea-froth. Laura cried out involuntarily, and Aubrey sprung
+forward, and snatched it out of the water.
+
+"I fear," said he, "Miss Level, your bonnet is irreparably injured." "It
+is, indeed," replied Laura; and remembering Miss Frampton's lecture, she
+tried to say that the destruction of her bonnet was of no consequence,
+but unaccustomed to falsehood, the words died away on her lips.
+
+The ladies now gathered round our heroine, who held in her hand the
+dripping wreck of the once elegant bonnet; and they gave it as their
+unanimous opinion, that nothing could possibly be done to restore it to
+any form that would make it wearable. Laura then tied her scarf over her
+head, and Aubrey Maitland thought she looked prettier than ever.
+
+Late in the evening, Mr. Brantley arrived from town in his chaise,
+bringing from the post-office a letter for Laura Lovel, from her little
+sisters, or rather two letters written on the same sheet. They ran
+thus:--
+
+     "ROSEBROOK, August 9th, 18--.
+
+     "DEAREST SISTER:--We hope you are having a great deal of pleasure
+     in Boston. How many novels you must be reading--I wish I was grown
+     up as you are--I am eight years old, and I have never yet read a
+     novel. We miss you all the time. There is still a chair placed for
+     you at table, and Rosa and I take turns in sitting next to it. But
+     we can no longer hear your pleasant talk with our dear father. You
+     know Rosa and I always listened so attentively that we frequently
+     forgot to eat our dinners. I see advertised a large new book of
+     Fairy Tales. How much you will have to tell us when you come home.
+     Since you were so kind as to promise to bring me a book, I think,
+     upon second thought, I would rather have the Tales of the Castle
+     than Miss Edgeworth's Moral Tales.
+
+     "Dear mother now has to make all the pies and puddings herself. We
+     miss you every way. The Children's Friend must be a charming
+     book--so must the Friend of Youth.
+
+     "Yesterday we had a pair of fowls killed for dinner. Of course they
+     were not Rosa's chickens, nor mine--they were only Billy and Bobby.
+     But still, Rosa and I cried very much, as they were fowls that we
+     were acquainted with. Dear father reasoned with us about it for a
+     long time; but still, though the fowls were made into a pie, we
+     could eat nothing but the crust. I think I should like very much to
+     read the Robins, and also Keeper's Travels in Search of his Master.
+
+     "I hope, dear Laura, you will be able to remember everything you
+     have seen and heard in Boston, that you may have the more to tell
+     us when you come home. I think, after all, there is no book I would
+     prefer to the Arabian Nights--no doubt the Tales of the Genii are
+     also excellent. Dear Laura, how I long to see you again. Paul and
+     Virginia must be very delightful.
+
+     "Yours affectionately,
+
+     "ELLA LOVEL."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+     "DEAR SISTER LAURA--I cried for a long time after you left us, but
+     at last I wiped my eyes, and played with Ponto, and was happy. I
+     have concluded not to want the canary-bird I asked you to get for
+     me, as I think it best to be satisfied by hearing the birds sing on
+     the trees, in the garden, and in the woods. Last night I heard a
+     screech-owl--I would rather have a young fig-tree in a tub--or
+     else, a great quantity of new flower-seeds. If you do not get
+     either the fig-tree or the flower-seeds, I should like a blue cat,
+     such as I have read of: you know those cats are not sky-blue, but
+     only a bluish gray. If a blue cat is not to be had, I should be
+     glad of a pair of white English rabbits; and yet, I think I would
+     quite as willingly have a pair of doves. I never saw a real dove;
+     but if doves are scarce, or cost too much, I shall be satisfied
+     with a pair of fan-tailed pigeons, if they are quite white, and
+     their tails fan very much. If you had a great deal of money to
+     spare, I should like a kid or a fawn, but I know that is
+     impossible; so I will not think of it. Perhaps, when I grow up, I
+     may be a president's wife; if so, I will buy an elephant.
+
+     "Your affectionate sister,
+
+     "ROSA LOVEL."
+
+     "I send kisses to all the people in Boston that love you."
+
+How gladly would Laura, had it been in her power, have made every
+purchase mentioned in the letters of the two innocent little girls! And
+her heart swelled and her eyes overflowed, when she thought how happy
+she might have made them at a small part of the expense she had been
+persuaded to lavish on the finery that had given her so little pleasure,
+and that was now nearly all spoiled.
+
+Next day was Sunday; and they went to church and heard Mr. Taylor, the
+celebrated mariner clergyman, with whose deep pathos and simple good
+sense Laura was much interested, while she was at the same time amused
+with his originality and quaintness.
+
+On returning to the hotel, they found that the morning boat had arrived,
+and on looking up at the veranda, the first object Laura saw there was
+Pyam Dodge, standing stiffly with his hands on the railing.
+
+"Miss Lovel," said Augusta, "there's your friend, the schoolmaster."
+
+"Mercy upon us," screamed Miss Frampton, "has that horrid fellow come
+after you? Really, Miss Lovel, it was in very bad taste to invite him to
+Nahant."
+
+"I did not invite him," replied Laura, colouring; "I know not how he
+discovered that I was here."
+
+"The only way, then," said Miss Frampton, "is to cut him dead, and then
+perhaps he'll clear off."
+
+"Pho," said Augusta, "do you suppose he can understand cutting? why he
+won't know whether he's cut or not."
+
+"May I ask who this person is?" said Aubrey Maitland, in a low voice, to
+Laura. "Is there any stain or any suspicion attached to him?"
+
+"Oh! no, indeed," replied Laura, earnestly. And, in a few words, as they
+ascended the stairs, she gave him an outline of the schoolmaster and his
+character.
+
+"Then do not cut him at all," said Aubrey. "Let me take the liberty of
+suggesting to you how to receive him." They had now come out into the
+veranda, and Maitland immediately led Laura up to Pyam Dodge, who bowed
+profoundly on being introduced to him, and then turned to our heroine,
+asked permission to shake hands with her, hoped his company would be
+found agreeable, and signified that he had been unable to learn where
+she was from Mr. Brantley's servants; but that the evening before, a
+gentleman of Boston had told him that Mr. Brantley and all the family
+were at Nahant. Therefore, he had come thither to-day purposely to see
+her, and to inform her that the summer vacation having commenced, he was
+going to pay a visit to his old friends at Rosebrook, and would be very
+thankful if she would honour him with a letter or message to her family.
+
+All this was said with much bowing, and prosing, and apologizing. When
+it was finished, Maitland invited Pyam Dodge to take a turn round the
+veranda with Miss Lovel and himself, and the poor schoolmaster expressed
+the most profound gratitude. When they were going to dinner, Aubrey
+introduced him to Mrs. Maitland, placed him next to himself at table,
+and engaged him in a conversation on the Greek classics, in which Pyam
+Dodge, finding himself precisely in his element, forgot his humility,
+and being less embarrassed, was therefore less awkward and absurd than
+usual.
+
+Laura Lovel had thought Aubrey Maitland the handsomest and most elegant
+young man she had ever seen. She now thought him the most amiable.
+
+In the afternoon, there was a mirage, in which the far-off rocks in the
+vicinity of Marblehead appeared almost in the immediate neighbourhood of
+Nahant, coming out in full relief, their forms and colours well-defined,
+and their height and breadth seemingly much increased. While all the
+company were assembled to look at this singular optical phenomenon
+(Aubrey Maitland being earnestly engaged in explaining it to our
+heroine), Miss Frampton whispered to Laura that she wished particularly
+to speak with her, and accordingly drew her away to another part of the
+veranda.
+
+Laura turned pale, for she had a presentiment of what was coming. Miss
+Frampton then told her, that presuming she had heard from home, she
+concluded that it would, of course, be convenient to return the trifle
+she had lent her; adding, that she wished to give a small commission to
+a lady that was going to town the next morning.
+
+Poor Laura knew not what to say. She changed colour, trembled with
+nervous agitation, and at last faltered out that, in consequence of
+knowing her father was from home, she had not yet written to him on the
+subject, but that she would do so immediately, and hoped Miss Frampton
+would not find it very inconvenient to wait a few days.
+
+"Why, really, I don't know how I can," replied Miss Frampton; "I want a
+shawl exactly like Mrs. Horton's. She tells me they are only to be had
+at one store in Boston, and that when she got hers the other day, there
+were only two left. They are really quite a new style, strange as it is
+to see anything in Boston that is not quite old-fashioned in
+Philadelphia. The money I lent you is precisely the sum for this
+purpose. Of course, I am in no want of a shawl--thank Heaven, I have
+more than I know what to do with--but, as I told you, these are quite a
+new style--"
+
+"Oh! how gladly would I pay you, if I could!" exclaimed Laura, covering
+her face with her hands. "What would I give at this moment for
+twenty-five dollars!"
+
+"I hope I am not inconvenient," said the voice of Pyam Dodge, close at
+Laura's back; "but I have been looking for Miss Laura Lovel, that I may
+take my leave, and return to town in the next boat."
+
+Miss Frampton tossed her head and walked away, to tell Mrs. Horton,
+confidentially, that Miss Lovel had borrowed twenty-five dollars of her
+to buy finery; but not to add that she had just been asking her for
+payment.
+
+"If I may venture to use such freedom," pursued Pyam Dodge, "I think,
+Miss Laura Lovel, I overheard you just now grieving that you could not
+pay some money. Now, my good child (if you will forgive me for calling
+you so), why should you be at any loss for money, when I have just
+received my quarter's salary, and when I have more about me than I know
+what to do with? I heard you mention twenty-five dollars--here it is
+(taking some notes out of an enormous pocket-book), and if you want any
+more, as I hope you do--"
+
+"Oh! no, indeed--no," interrupted Laura. "I cannot take it; I would not
+on any consideration."
+
+"I know too well," continued Pyam Dodge, "I am not worthy to offer it,
+and I hope I am not making myself disagreeable. But if, Miss Laura
+Lovel, you would only have the goodness to accept it, you may be sure I
+will never ask you for it as long as I live. I would even take a
+book-oath not to do so."
+
+Laura steadily refused the proffered kindness of the poor schoolmaster,
+and begged Pyam Dodge to mention the subject to her no more. She told
+him that all she now wished was to go home, and that she would write by
+him to her family, begging that her father would come for her (as he had
+promised at parting) and take her back to Rosebrook, as soon as he
+could. She quitted Pyam Dodge, who was evidently much mortified, and
+retired to write her letter, which she gave to him as soon as it was
+finished, finding him in the hall taking a ceremonious leave of the
+Maitlands. He departed, and Laura's spirits were gradually revived
+during the evening by the gratifying attentions and agreeable
+conversation of Mrs. Maitland and her son.
+
+When our heroine retired for the night, she found on her table a letter
+in a singularly uncouth hand, if hand it could be called, where every
+word was differently written. It enclosed two ten dollar notes and a
+five, and was conceived in the following words:
+
+"This is to inform Miss Laura, eldest daughter of the Reverend Edward
+Lovel, of Rosebrook, Massachusetts, that an unknown friend of hers,
+whose name it will be impossible for her to guess (and therefore to make
+the attempt will doubtless be entire loss of time, and time is always
+precious), having accidentally heard (though by what means is a profound
+secret) that she, at this present time, is in some little difficulty for
+want of a small sum of money, he, therefore, this unknown friend, offers
+to her acceptance the before-mentioned sum, hoping that she will find
+nothing disgusting in his using so great a liberty."
+
+"Oh! poor Pyam Dodge!" exclaimed Laura, "why did you take the trouble to
+disguise and disfigure your excellent handwriting?" And she felt, after
+all, what a relief it was to transfer her debt from Miss Frampton to the
+good schoolmaster. Reluctant to have any further personal discussion on
+this painful subject, she enclosed the notes in a short billet to Miss
+Frampton, and sent it immediately to that lady's apartment. She then
+went to bed, comparatively happy, slept soundly, and dreamed of Aubrey
+Maitland.
+
+About the end of the week, Laura Lovel was delighted to see her father
+arrive with Mr. Brantley. As soon as they were alone, she threw herself
+into his arms, and with a flood of tears explained to him the
+particulars of all that passed since she left home, and deeply lamented
+that she had allowed herself to be drawn into expenses beyond her means
+of defraying, and which her father could ill afford to supply, to say
+nothing of the pain and mortification they had occasioned to herself.
+
+"My beloved child," said Mr. Lovel, "I have been much to blame for
+intrusting you at an age so early and inexperienced, and with no
+knowledge of a town-life and its habits, to the guidance and example of
+a family of whom I knew nothing, except that they were reputable and
+opulent."
+
+Mr. Lovel then gave his daughter the agreeable intelligence that the
+tract of land which was the object of his visit to Maine, and which had
+been left him in his youth by an old aunt, and was then considered of
+little or no account, had greatly increased in value by a new and
+flourishing town having sprung up in its immediate vicinity. This tract
+he had recently been able to sell for ten thousand dollars, and the
+interest of that sum would now make a most acceptable addition to his
+little income.
+
+He also informed her that Pyam Dodge was then at the village of
+Rosebrook, where he was "visiting round," as he called it, and that the
+good schoolmaster had faithfully kept the secret of the twenty-five
+dollars which he had pressed upon Laura, and which Mr. Lovel had now
+heard, for the first time, from herself.
+
+While this conversation was going on between the father and daughter,
+Mrs. Maitland and her son were engaged in discussing the beauty and the
+apparent merits of our heroine. "I should like extremely," said Mrs.
+Maitland, "to invite Miss Lovel to pass the winter with me. But, you
+know, we live much in the world, and I fear the limited state of her
+father's finances could not allow her to appear as she would wish. Yet,
+perhaps, I might manage to assist her in that respect, without wounding
+her delicacy. I think with regret of so fair a flower being 'born to
+blush unseen, and waste its sweetness on the desert air.'"
+
+"There is one way," said Aubrey Maitland, smiling and colouring, "by
+which we might have Miss Lovel to spend next winter in Boston, without
+any danger of offending her delicacy, or subjecting her to embarrassment
+on account of her personal expenses--a way which would enable her to
+appear as she deserves, and to move in a sphere that she is so well
+calculated to adorn, though not as _Miss Lovel_."
+
+"I cannot but understand you, Aubrey," replied Mrs. Maitland, who had
+always been not only the mother, but the sympathizing and confidential
+friend of her son--"yet be not too precipitate. Know more of this young
+lady, before you go so far that you cannot in honour recede."
+
+"I know her sufficiently," said Aubrey, with animation. "She is to be
+understood at once, and though I flatter myself that I may have already
+excited some interest in her heart, yet I have no reason to suppose
+that she entertains for me such feelings as would induce her at this
+time to accept my offer. She is extremely anxious to get home; she may
+have left a lover there. But let me be once assured that her affections
+are disengaged, and that she is really inclined to bestow them on me,
+and a declaration shall immediately follow the discovery. A man who,
+after being convinced of the regard of the woman he loves, can trifle
+with her feelings, and hesitate about securing her hand, does not
+deserve to obtain her."
+
+Laura had few preparations to make for her departure, which took place
+the next morning, Aubrey Maitland and Mr. Brantley accompanying her and
+her father to town, in the early boat. Mrs. Maitland took leave of her
+affectionately, Mrs. Brantley smilingly, Augusta coldly, and Miss
+Frampton not at all.
+
+Mr. Lovel and his daughter passed that day in Boston, staying at a
+hotel. Laura showed her father the children's letter. All the books that
+Ella mentioned were purchased for her, and quite a little menagerie of
+animals was procured for Rosa.
+
+They arrived safely at Rosebrook. And when Mr. Lovel was invoking a
+blessing on their evening repast, he referred to the return of his
+daughter, and to his happiness on seeing her once more in her accustomed
+seat at table, in a manner that drew tears into the eyes of every member
+of the family.
+
+Pyam Dodge was there, only waiting for Laura's arrival, to set out next
+morning on a visit to his relations in Vermont. With his usual want of
+tact, and his usual kindness of heart, he made so many objections to
+receiving the money with which he had accommodated our heroine, that Mr.
+Lovel was obliged to slip it privately into his trunk before his
+departure.
+
+In a few days, Aubrey Maitland came to Rosebrook and established himself
+at the principal inn, from whence he visited Laura the evening of his
+arrival. Next day he came both morning and evening. On the third day he
+paid her three visits, and after that it was not worth while to count
+them.
+
+The marriage of Aubrey and Laura took place at the close of the autumn,
+and they immediately went into the possession of an elegant residence of
+their own, adjoining the mansion of the elder Mrs. Maitland. They are
+now living in as much happiness as can fall to the lot of human beings.
+
+Before the Nahant season was over, Miss Frampton had quarrelled with or
+offended nearly every lady at the hotel, and Mr. Brantley privately
+insisted that his wife should not invite her to pass the winter with
+them. However, she protracted her stay as long as she possibly could,
+with any appearance of decency, and then returned to Philadelphia, under
+the escort of one of Mr. Brantley's clerks. After she came home, her
+visit to Boston afforded her a new subject of conversation, in which the
+predominant features were general ridicule of the Yankees (as she called
+them), circumstantial slanders of the family to whose hospitality she
+had been indebted for more than three months, and particular abuse of
+"that little wretch Augusta."
+
+
+
+
+JOHN W. ROBERTSON.
+
+A TALE OF A CENT.
+
+     "Some there be that shadows kiss."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Selina Mansel was only sixteen when she took charge of her father's
+house, and he delegated to her the arduous task of doing as she pleased:
+provided always that she duly attended to his chief injunction, never to
+allow herself to incur a debt, however trifling, and to purchase nothing
+that she could not pay for on the spot. To the observance of this rule,
+which he had laid down for himself in early life, Mr. Mansel attributed
+all his success in business, and his ability to retire at the age of
+fifty with a handsome competence.
+
+Since the death of his wife, Mr. Mansel's sister had presided over his
+family, and had taken much interest in instructing Selina in what she
+justly termed the most useful part of a woman's education. Such was Miss
+Eleanor Mansel's devotion to her brother and his daughter, that she had
+hesitated for twelve years about returning an intelligible answer to the
+love-letters which she received quarterly from Mr. Waitstill Wonderly, a
+gentleman whose dwelling-place was in the far, far east. Every two years
+this paragon of patience came in person: his home being at a distance of
+several hundred miles, and his habits by no means so itinerant as those
+of the generality of his countrymen.
+
+On his sixth avatar, Miss Mansel consented to reward with her hand the
+constancy of her inamorato; as Selina had, within the last twelvemonth,
+made up two pieces of linen for her father, prepared the annual quantity
+of pickles and preserves, and superintended two house-cleanings, all
+herself--thus giving proof positive that she was fully competent to
+succeed her aunt Eleanor as mistress of the establishment.
+
+Selina Mansel was a very good and a very pretty girl. Though living in a
+large and flourishing provincial town, which we shall denominate
+Somerford, she had been brought up in comparative retirement, and had
+scarcely yet begun to go into company, as it is called. Her
+understanding was naturally excellent; but she was timid, sensitive,
+easily disconcerted, and likely to appear to considerable disadvantage
+in any situation that was the least embarrassing.
+
+About two months after the departure of Mr. and Mrs. Wonderly, the whole
+borough of Somerford was thrown into commotion by the unexpected arrival
+of an old townsman, who had made his fortune in New Orleans. This person
+was called in his youth Jack Robinson. After twenty years of successful
+adventure, he now returned as John W. Robertson, Esq., and concluded to
+astonish for a while the natives of his own birth-place, and perhaps
+pass the summer among them. Therefore, he took two of the best
+apartments in the chief hotel; and having grown very tired of old
+bachelorship, and entertaining a great predilection for all the
+productions of his native town, he determined to select a wife from
+among the belles of Somerford.
+
+Now Mr. Robertson was a man in whose face and figure the most amiable
+portrait-painter could have found nothing to commend. He was not what is
+called a fine-looking man, for though sufficiently tall, he was gaunt
+and ill-proportioned. He was not a handsome man, for every feature was
+ugly; and his complexion, as well as his hair, was all of one
+ash-colour; though his eyes were much lighter than his skin. He was
+fully aware of his deficiency in beauty; but it was some consolation to
+him that he had been a very pretty baby, as he frequently took occasion
+to mention. With all this, he was extremely ambitious of marrying a
+beautiful woman, and resolutely determined that she should "love him for
+himself alone." Though in the habit of talking ostentatiously of his
+wealth, yet he sometimes considered this wealth as a sort of thorn in
+his path to matrimony; for he could not avoid the intrusion of a very
+uncomfortable surmise, that were he still poor Jack Robinson, he would
+undoubtedly be "cut dead" by the same ladies who were now assiduously
+angling for a word or a look from John W. Robertson, Esq. It is true
+that, being habitually cautious, he proceeded warily, and dispensed his
+notice to the ladies with much economy, finding that, in the words of
+charity advertisements, "the smallest donations were thankfully
+received."
+
+Having once read a novel, and it being one in which the heroine blushes
+all through the book, he concluded that confusion and suffusion were
+infallible signs of love, and that whenever the bloom on a lady's cheeks
+deepens at the sight of a gentleman, there can be no doubt of the
+sincerity and disinterestedness of her regard, and that she certainly
+loves him for himself alone. Adopting this theory, Mr. Robertson
+determined not to owe his success to any adventitious circumstances; and
+he accordingly disdained that attention to his toilet usually observed
+by gentlemen in the Coelebs line. Therefore, as the season was summer,
+he walked about all the morning in a long loose gown of broad-striped
+gingham, buckskin shoes, and an enormous Leghorn hat, the brim turned up
+behind and down before. In the afternoon, his flying joseph was
+exchanged for a round jacket of sea-grass: and in the evening he
+generally appeared in a seersucker coat. But he was invited everywhere.
+
+The mothers flattered him, and the daughters smiled on him, yet still he
+saw no blushes. He looked in vain for the "sweet confusion, rosy
+terror," which he supposed to be always evinced by a young lady in the
+presence of the man of her heart. The young ladies that _he_ met with,
+had all their wits about them; and if on seeing him they covered their
+faces, it was only to giggle behind their fans. Instead of shrinking
+modestly back at his approach, they followed him everywhere; and he has
+more than once been seen perambulating the main street of Somerford at
+the head of half a dozen young ladies, like a locomotive engine drawing
+a train of cars.
+
+With the exception of two professed novel-readers who treated our hero
+with ill-concealed contempt, because they could find in him no
+resemblance to Lord St. Orville or to Thaddeus of Warsaw, Selina Mansel
+was almost the only lady in Somerford that took Mr. Robertson quietly.
+The truth was, she never thought of him at all: and it was this evident
+indifference, so strikingly contrasted with the unremitting solicitude
+of her companions, that first attracted his attention towards Selina,
+rather than her superiority in beauty or accomplishments; for Miss
+Madderlake had redder cheeks, Miss Tightscrew a smaller waist, Miss
+Deathscream sung louder, and Miss Twirlfoot danced higher.
+
+Selina Mansel was the youngest of the Somerford belles, and had scarcely
+yet come out. It never entered her mind that a man of Mr. Robertson's
+age could think of marrying a girl of sixteen. How little she knew of
+old bachelors!
+
+Having always heard herself termed "the child," by her father and her
+aunt, she still retained the habit of considering herself as such; and
+strange to tell, the idea of a lover had not yet found its way into her
+head or her heart. Accordingly, on meeting Mr. Robertson for the first
+time (it was at a small party), she thought she passed the evening
+pleasantly enough in sitting between two matrons, and hearing from them
+the praises of her aunt Wonderly's notability--accompanied by numerous
+suggestions of improvements in confectionery, and in the management of
+servants; these hints being kindly intended for her benefit as a young
+housekeeper.
+
+Mr. Robertson, who proceeded cautiously in everything, after gazing at
+Selina across the room, satisfied himself that she was very handsome and
+very unaffected, and requested an introduction to her from the gentleman
+of the house, adding--"But not just now--any time in the course of the
+evening. You know, when ladies are in question, it is very impolitic in
+gentlemen to show too much eagerness."
+
+The introduction eventually took place, and Mr. Robertson talked of the
+weather, then of the westerly winds, which he informed Selina were
+favourable to vessels going out to Europe, but dead ahead to those that
+were coming home. He then commenced a long story about the very
+profitable voyage of one of his ships, but told it in language
+unintelligible to any but a merchant.
+
+Selina grew very tired, and having tried to listen quite as long as she
+thought due to civility, she renewed her conversation with one of the
+ladies that sat beside her, and Mr. Robertson, in some vexation, turned
+away and carried his dullness to the other end of the room, where pretty
+Miss Holdhimfast sat, the image of delighted attention, her eyes smiling
+with pleasure, and her lips parted in intense interest, while he talked
+to her of assorted cargoes, bills of lading, and customhouse bonds. At
+times, he looked round, over his shoulder, to see if Selina evinced any
+discomposure at his quitting her--but he perceived no signs of it.
+
+Mr. Mansel having renewed his acquaintance with Mr. Robertson, our hero
+called next morning to pay a visit to the father of Selina, though his
+chief motive was the expectation of seeing the young lady, who since the
+preceding evening had occupied as much of his mind and thoughts as a
+thorough-going business man ever devotes to a woman.
+
+Selina was in the parlour, and sat quietly at her sewing, not perceiving
+that, though Mr. Robertson talked to her father all the time about the
+Bank of the United States, he looked almost continually at her. On
+hearing the clock strike, she rose, put up her work, and repaired to her
+own room--recollecting that it was her day for writing to Mrs. Wonderly,
+and that the mail would close in two hours, which Selina had always
+found the shortest possible time for filling a large sheet of paper
+closely written--such being the missive that she despatched every week
+to her beloved aunt.
+
+Mr. Robertson, after prolonging his visit to an unreasonable period,
+departed in no very good humour at Selina's not returning to the
+parlour: for though he saw through the designs of the other ladies, he
+was somewhat piqued that our young and handsome heroine should have no
+design at all.
+
+In the afternoon Selina went out on a shopping expedition. Mr. Robertson
+happened to overtake her, and she looked so very pretty, and tripped
+along so lightly and gracefully, that he could not refrain from joining
+her, instead of making his bow and passing on, as had been his first
+intention.
+
+In the course of conversation, Selina was informed by Mr. Robertson
+(who, though no longer in business, still made the price-current his
+daily study) that, by the last advices from New York, tallow was calm,
+and hides were drooping--that pots were lively, and that pearls were
+looking up; and that there was a better feeling towards mackerel.
+
+He accompanied Selina to the principal fancy-store, and when the young
+lady had completed her purchases, and had been persuaded by Mr.
+Stretchlace to take several additional articles, she found, on examining
+her purse, that she had nearly exhausted its contents, and that even
+with putting all her small change together, she still wanted one cent.
+Mr. Stretchlace assured her that he considered a cent as of no
+consequence; but Selina, who had been brought up in the strictest ideas
+of integrity, replied that, as she had agreed to pay as much for the
+article as he had asked her, she could not allow him to lose a single
+farthing. Mr. Stretchlace smiled, and reminded her that she could easily
+stop in and give him the cent, at any time when she happened to be
+passing his store. Selina, recollecting her father's rule of never going
+in debt to a shopkeeper, even to the most trifling amount, proposed
+leaving a pair of gloves (her last purchase) till she came again. Mr.
+Robertson, to put an end to the difficulty, took a cent from his purse,
+and requested permission to lend it to Miss Mansel. Selina coloured, but
+after some hesitation accepted the loan, resolving to repay it
+immediately. Having this intention on her mind, she was rather glad when
+she found that Mr. Robertson intended walking home with her, as it would
+give her an opportunity of liquidating the debt--and he entertained her
+on the way with the history of a transaction in uplands, and another in
+sea-islands.
+
+They arrived at Mr. Mansel's door, and her companion was taking his
+leave, when Selina, thinking only of the cent, asked him if he would not
+come in. Of course, she had no motive but to induce him to wait till she
+had procured the little coin in question. He found the invitation too
+flattering to be resisted, and smirkingly followed her into the front
+parlour. Selina was disappointed at not finding her father there.
+Desiring Mr. Robertson to excuse her for a moment, she went to her own
+room in quest of some change--but found nothing less than a five dollar
+note.
+
+A young lady of more experience and more self-possession, would, at
+once, have thought of extricating herself from the dilemma by applying
+to one of the servants for the loan of a cent; but at this time no such
+idea entered Selina's head. Therefore, calling Ovid, her black man, she
+despatched him with the note to get changed, and then returned herself
+to the parlour.
+
+Taking her seat near the centre-table, Selina endeavoured to engage her
+guest in conversation, lest he should go away without his money. But,
+too little accustomed to the world and its contingencies to feel at all
+at her ease on this occasion, not having courage to mention the cent,
+and afraid every moment that Mr. Robertson would rise to take his leave,
+she became more and more embarrassed, sat uneasily on her chair, kept
+her eyes on the floor, except when she stole glances at her visiter to
+see if he showed any symptoms of departure, and looked frequently
+towards the door, hoping the arrival of Ovid.
+
+Unconscious of what she was doing, our heroine took a camellia japonica
+from a vase that stood on the table, and having smelled it a dozen
+times (though it is a flower that has no perfume) she began to pick it
+to pieces. Mr. Robertson stopped frequently in the midst of a long story
+about a speculation in sperm oil, his attention being continually
+engaged by the evident perturbation of the young lady. But when he saw
+her picking to pieces the camellia which she had pressed to her nose and
+to her lips, he was taken with a sudden access of gallantry, and
+stalking up to her, and awkwardly stretching out his hand at arm's
+length, he said, in a voice intended to be very sweet--"Miss Mansel,
+will you favour me with that flower?"
+
+Selina, not thinking of what she did, hastily dropped the camellia into
+his out-spread palm, and ran to meet her servant Ovid, whom she saw at
+that moment coming into the house. She stopped him in the hall, and
+eagerly held out her hand, while Ovid slowly and carefully counted into
+it, one by one, ten half dollars, telling her that he had been nearly
+all over town with the note, as "change is always _scace_ of an
+afternoon."
+
+"How vexatious!" said Selina, in a low voice--"You have brought me no
+cents. It was particularly a cent that I wanted--a cent above all
+things. Did I not tell you so?--I am sure I thought I did."
+
+Ovid persisted in declaring that she had merely desired him to get the
+note changed, and that he thought "nobody needn't wish for better change
+than all big silver,"--but feeling in his pocket, he said "he believed,
+if Miss Selina would let him, he could lend her a cent." However, after
+searching all his pockets, he found only a quarter of a dollar. "But,"
+added he, "I can go in the kitchen and ax if the women hav'n't got no
+coppers. Ah! Miss Selina--your departed aunt always kept her pocket
+full."
+
+Selina then desired him to go immediately and inquire for a cent among
+the women. She then returned to the parlour, and Mr. Robertson, having
+nothing more to say, rose to take his leave. During her absence from the
+room, he had torn off the back of a letter, folded in it the
+half-demolished camellia japonica, and deposited it in his waistcoat
+pocket.
+
+Selina begged him to stay a few minutes longer, and she went into the
+kitchen to inquire in person about the cent.
+
+"Apparently," thought Robertson, "she finds it hard to part with me. And
+certainly she _has_ seemed confused and agitated, during the whole of my
+visit."
+
+On making her inquiry among the denizens of the kitchen, Selina found
+that none of the women had any probable coppers, excepting Violet, the
+black cook, who was fat and lame, and who intended, as soon as she had
+done making some cakes for tea, to ascend to her attic, and search for
+one among her hoards.
+
+"La! Miss Selina," said Violet, "what can put you in such a pheeze about
+a cent?"
+
+"I have borrowed a cent of Mr. Robertson," replied Selina, "and I wish
+to return it immediately."
+
+"Well, now, if ever!" exclaimed Violet; "why, if that's all, I count it
+the same as nothing, and samer. To be sure he is too much of a gentleman
+to take a cent from a lady. Why, what's a cent?"
+
+"I hope," replied Selina, "that he is too much of a gentleman to
+_refuse_ to take it."
+
+"I lay you what you please," resumed Violet, "that if you go to offer
+him that cent, you'll 'front him out of the house. Why, when any of us
+borrows a copper of Ovid, we never thinks of paying him."
+
+"True enough," said Ovid, half aside; "and that's the reason I most
+always take care never to have no coppers about me."
+
+Selina now heard her father's voice in the parlour; and glad that he had
+come home, she hastened to obtain from him the much-desired coin. She
+found him earnestly engaged in discussing the Bank of the United States
+to Mr. Robertson, who was on the verge of departure. She went softly
+behind her father, and in a low voice asked him for a cent; but he was
+talking so busily that he did not hear her. She repeated the request.
+"Presently--presently," said Mr. Mansel, "another time will do as well."
+Mr. Robertson then made his parting bow to Selina, who, disconcerted at
+being baffled in all her attempts to get rid of her little debt,
+coloured excessively, and could not make an articulate reply to his
+"Good afternoon, Miss Mansel."
+
+When her father returned from escorting his guest to the door, he
+recollected her request, and said--"What were you asking me, Selina? I
+think I heard you say something about money. But never interrupt me when
+I am talking of the bank."
+
+Selina then made her explanation.
+
+"You know," replied Mr. Mansel, "that I have always told you to avoid a
+debt as you would a sin; and I have also cautioned you never to allow
+yourself to be without all the varieties of small change."
+
+He then gave her a handful of this convenient article, including half a
+dozen cents, saying, "There, now, do not forget to pay Mr. Robertson the
+first time you see him."
+
+"Certainly, I will not forget it," replied Selina; "for, trifle as it
+is, I shall not feel at peace while it remains on my mind."
+
+On the following afternoon Selina went out with her father to take a
+ride on horseback; and when they returned they found on the centre table
+the card of John W. Robertson. "Another _contre-tems_," cried Selina.
+"He has been here again, and I have not seen him to pay him the cent!"
+
+"Send it to him by Ovid," said Mr. Mansel.
+
+"_Send_ such a trifle to a gentleman!" exclaimed Selina.
+
+"Certainly," replied her father. "Even in the smallest trifles, it is
+best to be correct and punctual. You know I have always told you so."
+
+Selina left the room for the purpose of despatching Ovid with the cent,
+but Ovid had gone out on some affairs of his own, and when she returned
+to the parlour she found two young ladies there, whose visit was not
+over till nearly dusk. By that time Ovid was engaged in setting the
+tea-table; a business from which nothing could ever withdraw him till
+all its details were slowly and minutely accomplished.
+
+"It will be time enough after tea," said Selina, who, like most young
+housekeepers, was somewhat in awe of her servants. When tea was over
+both in parlour and kitchen (and by the members of the lower house that
+business was never accomplished without a long session), Ovid was
+despatched to the hotel with "Miss Mansel's compliments to Mr.
+Robertson, and the cent that she had borrowed of him." It was long
+before Ovid came back, and he then brought word that Mr. Robertson was
+out, but that he had left the cent with Mr. Muddler, the barkeeper.
+
+"Of course," said Selina, "the barkeeper will give it to Mr. Robertson
+as soon as he returns."
+
+"I have my doubts," replied Ovid.
+
+"Why?" asked Selina; "why should you suppose otherwise?"
+
+"Because," answered Ovid, "Mr. Muddler is a very doubty sort of man.
+That is, he's always to be doubted of. I lived at the hotel once, and I
+know all about him. He don't mind trifles, and he never remembers
+nothing. I guess Mr. Robertson won't be apt to get the cent: for afore I
+left the bar, I saw Muddler give it away in change to a man that came
+for a glass of punch. And I'm sure that Muddler won't never think no
+more about it. I could be as good as qualified that he won't."
+
+"How very provoking!" cried Selina.
+
+"You should have sealed it up in a piece of paper, and directed it to
+Mr. Robertson," said her father, raising his eyes from the newspaper in
+which he had been absorbed for the last hour. "Whatever is to be done at
+all, should always be done thoroughly."
+
+"Yes, miss," said Ovid, "you know that's what your departed aunt always
+told you: partikaly when you were stoning reasons for plum-cake."
+
+Selina was now at a complete loss what course to pursue. The cent was in
+itself a trifle; but there had been so much difficulty about it, that it
+seemed to have swelled into an object of importance: and from this time
+her repugnance to speaking of it to Mr. Robertson, or to any one else,
+became almost insurmountable.
+
+On the following morning, her father told her that he had met Mr.
+Robertson at the Post Office, and had been told by him that he should do
+himself the pleasure of making a morning call. "Therefore, Selina, I
+shall leave you to entertain him," said Mr. Mansel, "for I have made an
+appointment with Mr. Thinwall this morning, to go with him to look at a
+block of houses he is anxious to sell me."
+
+Selina repaired to her room to get her sewing: and taking a cent from
+her purse, she laid it in her work-basket and went down stairs to be
+ready for the visit of Mr. Robertson. While waiting for him, she
+happened to look at the cent, and perceived that it was one of the very
+earliest coinage, the date being 1793. She had heard these cents
+described, but had never before seen one. The head of Liberty was
+characterized by the lawless freedom of her hair, the flakes of which
+were all flying wildly back from her forehead and cheek, and seemed to
+be blowing away in a strong north-wester; and she carried over her
+shoulder a staff surmounted with a cap. On the reverse, there was
+(instead of the olive wreath) a circular chain, whose links signified
+the union of the States. Our heroine was making a collection of curious
+coins, and she was so strongly tempted by the opportunity of adding this
+to the number, that she determined on keeping it for that purpose. She
+was just rising to go up stairs and get another as a substitute, when
+Mr. Robertson entered the parlour.
+
+Selina was glad to see him, hoping that this visit would make a final
+settlement of the eternal cent. But she was also struck with the idea
+that it would be very awkward to ask him if the barkeeper had given him
+the one she had transmitted to him the evening before. She feared that
+the gentleman might reply in the affirmative, even if he had not really
+received it, and she felt a persuasion that it had entirely escaped the
+memory of Mr. Muddler. Not having sufficient self-possession to help her
+out of the difficulty, she hastily slipped the old cent back into her
+work-basket, and looked confused and foolish, and answered incoherently
+to Mr. Robertson's salutation. He saw her embarrassment, and augured
+favourably from it: but he cautiously determined not to allow himself to
+proceed too rapidly.
+
+He commenced the conversation by informing her that sugars had declined
+a shade, but that coffee was active, and cotton firm; and he then prosed
+off into a long mercantile story, of which Selina heard and understood
+nothing: her ideas, when in presence of Mr. Robertson, being now unable
+to take any other form than that of a piece of copper.
+
+Longing to go for another cent, and regretting that she had not brought
+down her purse, she sat uneasy and disconcerted: the delighted Robertson
+pausing in the midst of his tierces of rice, seroons of indigo, carboys
+of tar, and quintals of codfish, to look at the heightened colour of her
+cheek, and to give it the interpretation he most desired.
+
+Selina had never thought him so tiresome. Just then came in Miss
+Peepabout and Miss Doublesight, who, having seen Mr. Robertson through
+the window, had a curiosity to ascertain what he was saying and doing at
+Mr. Mansel's. These two ladies were our hero's peculiar aversion, as
+they had both presumed to lay siege to him, notwithstanding that they
+were neither young nor handsome. Therefore, he rose immediately and took
+his leave: though Selina, in the hope of still finding an opportunity to
+discharge her debt, said to him, anxiously: "Do not go yet, Mr.
+Robertson." This request nearly elevated the lover to paradise, but not
+wishing to spoil her by too much compliance, he persevered in departing.
+
+That evening Selina met him at a party given by Mrs. Vincent, one of the
+leading ladies of Somerford. Thinking of this possibility, and the idea
+of Mr. Robertson and a cent having now become synonymous, our heroine
+tied a bright new one in the corner of her pocket-handkerchief,
+determined to go fully prepared for an opportunity of presenting it to
+him. When, on arriving at Mrs. Vincent's house, she was shown to the
+ladies' room, Selina discovered that the cent had vanished, having
+slipped out from its fastening; and after an ineffectual search on the
+floor and on the staircase, she concluded that she must have dropped it
+in the street. The night was very fine, and Mrs. Vincent's residence was
+so near her father's, that Selina had walked thither, and Mr. Mansel
+(who had no relish for parties), after conducting her into the principal
+room, and paying his compliments to the hostess, had slipped off, and
+returned home to seek a quiet game of backgammon with his next-door
+neighbour, telling his daughter that he would come for her at eleven
+o'clock.
+
+Our heroine was dressed with much taste, and looked unusually well. Mr.
+Robertson's inclination would have led him to attach himself to Selina
+for the whole evening; but convinced of the depth and sincerity of her
+regard (as he perceived that she now never saw him without blushing), he
+deemed it politic to hold back, and not allow himself to be considered
+too cheap a conquest. Therefore, after making his bow, and informing her
+that soap was heavy, but that raisins were animated, and that there was
+a good feeling towards Havana cigars, he withdrew to the opposite side
+of the room.
+
+But though he divided his tediousness pretty equally among the other
+ladies, he could not prevent his eyes from wandering almost incessantly
+towards Selina, particularly when he perceived a remarkably handsome
+young man, Henry Wynslade, engaged in a very lively conversation with
+her. Mr. Wynslade, who had recently returned from India, lodged, for the
+present, at the hotel in which Robertson had located himself;
+consequently, our hero had some acquaintance with him.
+
+Mrs. Vincent having taken away Wynslade to introduce him to her niece,
+Mr. Robertson immediately strode across the room, and presented himself
+in front of Selina. To do him justice, he had entirely forgotten the
+cent: and he meant not the most distant allusion to it, when, at the end
+of a long narrative about a very close and fortunate bargain he had once
+made in rough turpentine, he introduced the well-known adages of "a
+penny saved is a penny got," and "take care of the pence and the pounds
+will take care of themselves."
+
+"Pence and cents are nearly the same," thought the conscious Selina. She
+had on her plate some of the little printed rhymes that, being
+accompanied by bonbons, and enveloped in coloured paper, go under the
+denomination of secrets or mottoes. These delectable distichs were most
+probably the leisure effusions of the poet kept by Mr. and Mrs.
+Packwood, of razor-strop celebrity, and from their ludicrous silliness
+frequently cause much diversion among the younger part of the company.
+
+In her confusion on hearing Mr. Robertson talk of pence, Selina began to
+distribute her mottoes among the ladies in her vicinity, and, without
+looking at it, she unthinkingly presented one to her admirer, as he
+stood stiff before her. A moment after he was led away by Mr. Vincent,
+to be introduced to a stranger: and in a short time the company
+adjourned to the supper-room.
+
+The ladies were all seated, and the gentlemen were standing round, and
+Selina was not aware of her proximity to Mr. Robertson till she
+overheard him say to young Wynslade--"A most extraordinary circumstance
+has happened to me this evening."
+
+"What is it?" cried Wynslade.
+
+"I have received a declaration."
+
+"A declaration! Of what?"
+
+"I have indeed," pursued Robertson, "a declaration of love. To be sure,
+I have been somewhat prepared for it. When a lady blushes, and shows
+evident signs of confusion, whenever she meets a gentleman, there is
+good reason to believe that her heart is really touched. Is there not?"
+
+"I suppose so," said Wynslade, smiling.
+
+"You conclude then that the lady must love him for himself, and not for
+his property?" inquired Robertson.
+
+"Ladies who are influenced only by mercenary considerations," replied
+Wynslade, "seldom feel much embarrassment in the presence of any
+gentleman."
+
+"There is no forcing a blush--is there?" asked Robertson.
+
+"I should think not," answered Wynslade, wondering to what all this
+would tend.
+
+"To tell you a secret," resumed Robertson, "I have proof positive that I
+have made a serious impression on a very beautiful young lady. You need
+not smile, Mr. Wynslade, for I can show you something that was presented
+to me the other day by herself, after first pressing it repeatedly to
+her lips."
+
+He then took out of his waistcoat pocket the paper that contained the
+remnant of the camellia japonica, adding, "I can assure you that this
+flower was given me by the prettiest girl in the room."
+
+The eyes of Wynslade were involuntarily directed to Selina.
+
+"You are right," resumed Robertson. "That is the very lady, Miss Selina
+Mansel."
+
+"Can it be possible!" exclaimed Wynslade. "Is this the lady that blushes
+at you? Did _she_ give you the flower?"
+
+"Yes, she did," replied Robertson. "A true bill, I assure you. The
+flower was her gift, and she has just presented me with a piece of
+poetry that is still more pointed. And yet, between ourselves, I think
+it strange that so young a lady should not have had patience to wait for
+a declaration on my part. I wonder that she should be the first to break
+the ice. However, I suppose it is only a stronger evidence of her
+partiality."
+
+"And what are you going to do?" asked Wynslade.
+
+"Oh! I shall take her," answered Robertson. "At least I think I shall.
+To be sure, I have been so short a time in Somerford, that I have
+scarcely yet had an opportunity of ascertaining the state of the market.
+But, besides her being an only child, with a father that is likely to
+come down handsomely, she is very young and very pretty, and will in
+every respect suit me exactly. However, I shall proceed with due
+circumspection. It is bad policy to be too alert on these occasions. It
+will be most prudent to keep her in suspense awhile."
+
+"Insufferable coxcomb!" thought Wynslade. However, he checked his
+contempt and indignation so far as to say with tolerable calmness--"Mr.
+Robertson, there must be certainly some mistake. Before I went to India,
+I knew something of Miss Mansel and her family, and I reproach myself
+for not having sought to renew my acquaintance with them immediately on
+my return. She was a mere child when I last saw her before my departure.
+Still, I know from the manner in which she has been brought up, that it
+is utterly impossible she should have given you any real cause to
+suspect her of a partiality, which, after all, you seem incapable of
+appreciating."
+
+"Suspect!" exclaimed Robertson, warmly; "suspect, indeed! Blushes and
+confusion you acknowledge to be certain signs. And then there is the
+flower--and then--"
+
+"Where is the piece of poetry you talked of?" said Wynslade.
+
+"Here," replied Robertson, showing him the motto--"here it is--read--and
+confess it to be proof positive."
+
+Wynslade took the slip, and read on it--
+
+    "To gain a look of your sweet face,
+    I'd walk three times round the market-place."
+
+"Ridiculous!" he exclaimed, as he returned the couplet to Robertson, the
+course of his ideas changing in a moment. The whole affair now appeared
+to him in so ludicrous a light that he erroneously imagined Selina to
+have been all the time diverting herself at Mr. Robertson's expense. He
+looked towards her with a smile of intelligence, and was surprised to
+find that she had set down her almost untasted ice-cream, and was
+changing colour, from red to pale, evidently overwhelmed with confusion.
+
+"There," said Robertson, looking significantly from Selina to Wynslade,
+"I told you so--only see her cheeks. No doubt she has overheard all we
+have been saying."
+
+Selina had, indeed, overheard the whole; for notwithstanding the talking
+of the ladies who were near her, her attention had been the whole time
+riveted to the conversation that was going on between Robertson and
+Wynslade. Her first impulse was to quit her seat, to go at once to
+Robertson, and to explain to him his mistake. But she felt the
+difficulty of making such an effort in a room full of company, and to
+the youthful simplicity of her mind that difficulty was enhanced by the
+want of a cent to put into his hand at the same time.
+
+Still, she was so extremely discomfited, that every moment seemed to her
+an age till she could have an opportunity of undeceiving him. She sat
+pale and silent till Robertson stepped up and informed her that she
+seemed quite below par; and Wynslade, who followed him, observed that
+"Miss Mansel was probably incommoded by the heat of the room."
+
+"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed, scarcely conscious of what she was saying; "it
+is, indeed, too warm--and here is such a crowd--and I am so fatigued--I
+wish it were eleven o'clock--I wish my father was here to take me home."
+
+Both gentlemen at once volunteered their services; but Selina, struck
+with the idea that during their walk she should have a full opportunity
+of making her explanation to Mr. Robertson, immediately started up, and
+said she would avail herself of _his_ offer. Robertson now cast a
+triumphant glance at Wynslade, who returned it with a look of disgust,
+and walked away, saying to himself, "What an incomprehensible being is
+woman!--I begin to despise the whole sex!"
+
+Selina then took leave of her hostess, and in a few minutes found
+herself on her way home with Mr. Robertson.
+
+"Mr. Robertson," said she, in a hurried voice, "I have something
+particular to say to you."
+
+"Now it is coming," thought Robertson; "but I will take care not to meet
+her half way." Then speaking aloud--"It is a fine moonlight evening,"
+said he: "that is probably what you are going to observe."
+
+"You are under a serious mistake," continued Selina.
+
+"I believe not," pursued Robertson, looking up. "The sky is quite clear,
+and the moon is at the full."
+
+"Nonsense!" exclaimed Selina.
+
+"I am fond of moonlight," persisted Robertson; "and I am extremely
+flattered at your giving me an opportunity of enjoying it with you."
+Here he stopped short, fearing that he had said too much.
+
+"My only motive," said Selina, "for accepting your offer of escorting me
+home, was that I might have an opportunity of explaining to you." Here
+she paused.
+
+"Take your time, Miss Selina," said Robertson, trying to soften his
+voice. "I do not wish you to hurry yourself. I can wait very well for
+the explanation till to-morrow."
+
+"No, you shall not," said Selina; "I must make it at once, for I shall
+be unable to sleep to-night till I have relieved my mind from it."
+
+"Surely," thought Robertson to himself, "young ladies now-a-days are
+remarkably forward." "Well, then, Miss Mansel," speaking aloud, "proceed
+at once to the point. I am all attention."
+
+Selina still hesitated--"Really," said she, "I know not how to express
+myself."
+
+"No doubt of it," he replied; "young ladies, I suppose, are not
+accustomed to being very explicit on these occasions. However, I can
+understand--'A word to the wise,' you know: but the truth is, for my own
+part, I have not quite made up my mind. You are sensible that our
+acquaintance is of very recent date: a wife is not a bill to be accepted
+at sight You know the proverb--'Marry in haste and repent at leisure.'
+However, I think you may draw on me at sixty days. And now that I have
+acknowledged the receipt of your addresses"----
+
+Selina interrupted him with vehemence--"Mr. Robertson, what are you
+talking about? You are certainly not in your senses. You are mistaken, I
+tell you--it is no such thing."
+
+"Come, Miss Mansel," said Robertson, "do not fly from your offer: it is
+too late for what they call coquetry--actions speak louder than words.
+If I must be plain, why so much embarrassment whenever we meet? To say
+nothing of the flower you gave me--and that little verse, which speaks
+volumes"----
+
+"Speaks nonsense!" cried Selina: "Is it possible you can be so absurd as
+to suppose"----Then bursting into tears of vexation, she exclaimed--"Oh
+that I had a cent!"
+
+"A cent!" said Robertson, much surprised. "Is it possible you are crying
+for a cent?"
+
+"Yes, I am," answered Selina; "just now, that is all I want on earth!"
+
+"Well, then," said Robertson, taking one out of his pocket, "you shall
+cry for it no longer: here's one for you."
+
+"This won't do--this won't do!" sobbed Selina.
+
+"Why, I am sure it is a good cent," said Robertson, "just like any
+other."
+
+"No," cried Selina, "your giving me another cent only makes things
+worse."
+
+By this time they were in sight of Mr. Mansel's door, and Selina
+perceived something on the pavement glittering in the moonlight. "Ah!"
+she exclaimed, taking it up, "this must be the very cent I dropped on my
+way to Mrs. Vincent's. I know it by its being quite a new one. How glad
+I am to find it!"
+
+"Well," said Robertson, "I have heard of ladies taking cents to church;
+but I never knew before that they had any occasion for them at
+tea-parties. And, by-the-bye (as I have often told my friend Pennychink
+the vestryman), that practice of handing a money-box round the church in
+service-time, is one of the meanest things I know, and I wonder how any
+man that is a gentleman can bring himself to do it."
+
+"And now, Mr. Robertson," said Selina, hastily wiping her eyes, "have
+you forgotten that I borrowed a cent of you the other day at Mr.
+Stretchlace's store?"
+
+"I _had_ forgotten it," answered Robertson; "but I recollect it now."
+
+"That cent was never returned to you," said Selina.
+
+"It was not," replied Robertson, looking surprised.
+
+"There it is," continued our heroine, as she gave it to him. "Now that I
+see it in your hand, I have courage to explain all. My father and my
+aunt have taught me to dread contracting even the smallest debt.
+Therefore, I could not feel at ease till I had repaid your cent. Several
+untoward circumstances have since prevented my giving it to you, though
+I can assure you, that whenever we met it was seldom absent from my
+mind. This was the real cause of the embarrassment or confusion you talk
+of. When I gave you the flower, and afterwards that foolish motto, I was
+thinking so much of the unlucky cent as to be scarcely conscious of what
+I was doing. Believe me when I repeat to you that this is the whole
+truth of what you have so strangely misinterpreted."
+
+"Is it possible!" exclaimed Robertson: "and was there nothing in it but
+a paltry bit of copper, when I thought all the time that I had at last
+met with a young lady who loved me for myself, and not for my
+bank-stock, and my real estate, and my railroad shares!"
+
+"For neither, I can assure you," said Selina, gayly; "but I shall be
+very glad to hear that yourself, and your bank-stock, and your real
+estate, and your railroad shares, have become the property of a lady of
+better taste than myself."
+
+They had been for some time on the steps of Mr. Mansel's door, and
+before he rung the bell, Robertson said to Selina: "Well, however, you
+know I did not actually come to a proposal?"
+
+"Not exactly," replied Selina, smiling.
+
+"Therefore, you will not tell everybody that you refused me?"
+
+"I will not, indeed," answered Selina. "And now, then, allow me to bid
+you adieu in the words of the song--'Good night--all's well!'"
+
+She then tripped into the parlour, where she found her father just
+preparing to come for her; and having made him very merry with her
+account of the events of the evening, she went to bed with a light
+heart.
+
+Mr. Robertson returned sullenly to his hotel, as much chagrined as a man
+of his obtuse feelings could possibly be. And he was the more vexed at
+losing Selina, as he conceived that a woman who could give herself so
+much uneasiness on account of a cent, would consequently make a good
+wife. The more he thought of this, the better he liked her: and next
+morning, when Henry Wynslade inquired of him the progress of wooing,
+Robertson not having invention enough to gloss over the truth, told him
+the facts as they really were, and asked his companion's opinion of the
+possibility of yet obtaining Miss Mansel.
+
+"Try again by all means," said Wynslade, who was curious to see how this
+business would end. "There is no knowing what may be the effect of a
+direct proposal--the ladies never like us the better for proceeding
+slowly and cautiously: so now for a point-blank shot."
+
+"It shall be conveyed in a letter, then," replied Robertson; "I have
+always found it best, in matters of business, to put down everything in
+black and white."
+
+"Do it at once, then," said Wynslade: "I have some thoughts of Miss
+Mansel myself, and perhaps I may cut you out."
+
+"I doubt that," replied Robertson; "you are but commencing business, and
+_my_ fortune is already made."
+
+"I thought," observed Wynslade, "you would marry only on condition of
+being loved for yourself alone."
+
+"I have given up that hope," answered Robertson, with a sort of sigh:
+"however, I was certainly a very pretty baby. I fear I must now be
+content to take a wife on the usual terms."
+
+"Be quick, then, with your proposal," said Wynslade, "for I am impatient
+to make mine."
+
+Wynslade then departed, and Robertson placed himself at his desk, and in
+a short time despatched to our heroine the following epistle, taking
+care to keep a copy of it:
+
+     "MISS SELINA MANSEL:--Your statement last night was duly attended
+     to; but further consideration may give another turn to the
+     business. The following terms are the best I think proper to offer:
+
+     "One Town House--1 Country House--4 Servants--2 Horses--1
+     Carriage--1 Chaise--1 Set of Jewels--1 New Dress per Month--4
+     Bonnets per Ann.--1 Tea-party on your Birthday--Ditto on mine--1
+     Dinner-party on each anniversary of our Wedding-day, till further
+     orders--2 Plays per Season--and half an Opera.
+
+     "If you are not satisfied with the T. H. and the C. H. you may take
+     1 trip per summer to the Springs or the Sea-shore. If the Parties
+     on the B.D.'s and the W. D. are not deemed sufficient, you may have
+     sundry others.
+
+     "On your part I only stipulate for a dish of rice always at dinner,
+     black tea, 6 cigars per day, to be smoked by me without remark from
+     you--newspapers, chess, and sundries. Your politics to be always
+     the same as mine. No gentlemen under fifty to be received, except
+     at parties. No musician to be allowed to enter the house; nor any
+     young doctor.
+
+     "If you conclude to close with these conditions, let me have advice
+     of it as soon as convenient, that I may wait upon you without loss
+     of time.
+
+     "Your most obt. servt.
+
+     "JOHN W. ROBERTSON.
+
+     "N.B. It may be well to mention, that with respect to furniture, I
+     cannot allow a piano, considering them as nuisances. Shall not
+     object to any reasonable number of sofas and
+     rocking-chairs.--Astral lamps at discretion.--Beg to call your
+     attention to the allowance of gowns and bonnets.--Consider it
+     remarkably liberal.--With respect to dress, sundries of course."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+To this letter half an hour brought a concise answer, containing a civil
+but decided refusal, which Mr. Robertson, though quite crest-fallen,
+could not forbear showing to Wynslade, telling him that he now withdrew
+from the market. On the following morning our hero left Somerford on a
+tour to Canada.
+
+Wynslade immediately laid siege to Selina Mansel, and being young,
+handsome, intelligent, and very much in love, he found little difficulty
+in obtaining her heart and hand.
+
+After their marriage the young couple continued to live with Mr. Mansel,
+who since the affair of Robertson has taken especial care that Selina
+shall always be well supplied with cents, frequently procuring her from
+the bank five dollars' worth at a time.
+
+John W. Robertson finally established himself in one of the large
+Atlantic cities; and in process of time his vanity recovered from the
+shock that had been given it by Miss Mansel. He has lately married a
+young widow, who being dependent with her five children on the bounty of
+her sister's husband, in whose house she lived with all her family, had
+address enough to persuade him that she loved him for himself alone.
+
+
+
+
+THE LADIES' BALL.
+
+    "Then, thrilling to the harp's gay sound,
+      So sweetly rung each vaulted wall,
+    And echoed light the dancer's bound,
+      As mirth and music cheer'd the hall."--SCOTT.
+
+
+The gentlemen who were considered as the _élite_ of a certain city that
+shall be nameless, had been for some years in the practice of giving,
+about Christmas, a splendid ball to the ladies of the same circle. But
+at the period from which we date the commencement of our story,
+Christmas was fast approaching, and there had, as yet, been no
+intimation of the usual practical compliment.
+
+Conjecture was busy among the ladies as to the cause of this
+extraordinary defection; but it was most generally attributed to the
+palpable fact that the attention of the gentlemen had been recently
+directed to a very different channel. In short, the beaux were now
+taking vast strides in the march of intellect, pioneered by certain
+newly popular lecturers in various departments of science. The pursuit
+of knowledge, both useful and useless, had become the order of the day.
+Profound were the researches into those mysteries of nature that in this
+world can never be elucidated: and long and elaborate were the
+dissertations on points that, when established, would not be worth a
+farthing.
+
+The "beaux turned savans," had formed themselves into an association to
+which they had given a polysyllabic name of Greek etymology, and beyond
+the power of female tongue to pronounce, or of female hand to write; but
+a very young girl designated it as the Fee-faw-fum Society. They hired a
+spare room in one of the public buildings, and assembled there "in
+close divan" on stated nights when there were no evening lectures:
+several of the ologists holding forth to their classes of afternoons.
+
+One seemingly indispensable instructor brought up the rear of the host
+of lecturers, and this was a professor of mnemonics: that is, a
+gentleman who gave lessons in memory, pledging himself to furnish the
+minds of his pupils with a regular set of springs, which as soon as
+touched would instantly unlock the treasures of knowledge that were laid
+up in "the storehouse of the brain:" the springs being acted upon by
+certain sheets of engraved and coloured hieroglyphics, some of which
+were numerical figures, others represented trees and houses, and cats
+and dogs, much in the style of what children call primer pictures. Some
+of our readers may, perhaps, recollect this professor, who made the
+circuit of the Union a few years since.
+
+There seemed but two objections to this system, one being that the
+hieroglyphics and their key were harder to remember than the things they
+were to remind you of: the other, that they were frequently to be
+understood by contraries, like the Hetman in Count Benyowsky, whose
+characteristic phraseology is--"When I say the garret, I mean the
+cellar--when I tell you to go up, I mean you to come down."
+
+The professor of mnemonics was very unpopular with the ladies, who
+asserted, that he had done the gentlemen more harm than good, by so
+puzzling their already overcharged heads, that he, in many instances,
+destroyed what little memory they had once possessed. This was
+particularly the case with regard to Mr. Slowman, who having, at length,
+proposed in form to Miss Tremor, and the lady, in her agitation, being
+unable at the moment to give him an intelligible answer, he had never
+remembered to press his suit any further.
+
+One thing was certain, that since the gentlemen had been taking lessons
+in memory, they seemed totally to have forgotten the annual ball.
+
+Yet, as the time drew near, there could be no doubt of its frequently
+entering their minds, from their steadily avoiding all reference to the
+subject. There was evidently a tacit understanding among them, that it
+was inexpedient to mention the ball. But the ice was at last broken by
+Gordon Fitzsimmons, as they were all standing round the fire, and
+adjusting their cloaks and surtouts, at the close of one of their
+society meetings.
+
+"Is it not time," said he, "that we should begin to prepare for the
+Christmas ball?"
+
+There was a silence--at last, one of the young gentlemen spoke, and
+replied--"that he had long since come to a conclusion that dancing was a
+very foolish thing, and that there was something extremely ridiculous in
+seeing a room-full of men and women jumping about to the sound of a
+fiddle. In short, he regarded it as an amusement derogatory to the
+dignity of human nature."
+
+He was interrupted in the midst of his philippic by Fitzsimmons, who
+advised him to "consider it not so deeply." Now, Fitzsimmons was himself
+an excellent dancer, very popular as a partner, conscious of looking
+well in a ball-room, and therefore a warm advocate for "the poetry of
+motion."
+
+Another of the young philosophers observed, "that he saw neither good
+nor harm in dancing, considered merely as an exercise: but that he was
+now busily engaged in writing a treatise on the Milky Way, the precise
+nature of which he had undoubtedly discovered, and therefore he had no
+leisure to attend to the ball or the ladies."
+
+A second, who was originally from Norridgewock, in the state of Maine,
+protested that almost every moment of his time was now occupied in
+lithographing his drawings for the Flora Norridgewockiana, a work that
+would constitute an important accession to the science of botany, and
+which he was shortly going to publish.
+
+A third declared frankly, that instead of subscribing to the ball, he
+should devote all his spare cash to a much more rational purpose, that
+of purchasing a set of geological specimens from the Himalaya Mountains.
+A fifth, with equal candour, announced a similar intention with regard
+to a box of beetles lately arrived from Van Diemen's Land.
+
+A sixth was deeply and unremittingly employed in composing a history of
+the Muskogee Indians, in which work he would prove to demonstration that
+they were of Russian origin, as their name denotes: Muskogee being
+evidently a corruption of Muscovite; just as the Tuscaroras are
+undoubtedly of Italian descent, the founders of their tribe having, of
+course, come over from Tuscany.
+
+And a seventh (who did things on a large scale) could not possibly give
+his attention to a ball or anything else, till he had finished a work
+which would convince the world that the whole Atlantic Ocean was once
+land, and that the whole American continent was once water.
+
+To be brief, the number of young men who were in favour of the ball was
+so very limited, that it seemed impossible to get one up in a manner
+approaching to the style of former years. And the gentlemen, feeling a
+sort of consciousness that they were not exactly in their duty, became
+more remiss than ever in visiting the ladies.
+
+It was now the week before Christmas: the ladies, being in hourly
+expectation of receiving their cards, had already begun to prepare; and
+flowers, feathers, ribands, and laces were in great activity. Still no
+invitations came. It was now conjectured that the ball was, for some
+extraordinary reason, to be deferred till New Year's. But what this
+reason was, the ladies (being all in a state of pique) had too much
+pride to inquire.
+
+The gentlemen begun to feel a little ashamed; and Gordon Fitzsimmons had
+nearly prevailed on them to agree to a New Year's ball, when Apesley
+Sappington (who had recently returned from England in a coat by Stultz,
+and boots by Hoby) threw a damp on the whole business, by averring that,
+with the exception of Miss Lucinda Mandeville, who was certainly a
+splendid woman with a splendid fortune, there was not a lady in the
+whole circle worth favouring with a ball ticket. At least so they
+appeared to him, after seeing Lady Caroline Percy, and Lady Augusta
+Howard, and Lady Georgiana Beauclerck. Mr. Sappington did not explain
+that his only view of these fair blossoms of nobility had been
+circumscribed to such glimpses as he could catch of them while he stood
+in the street among a crowd assembled in front of Devonshire House, to
+gaze on the company through the windows, which in London are always open
+on gala nights. He assured his friends that all the ladies of the
+American aristocracy had a sort of _parvenue_ air, and looked as if they
+had passed their lives east of Temple Bar; and that he knew not a single
+one of them that would be presentable at Almack's: always excepting Miss
+Lucinda Mandeville.
+
+The gentlemen _savans_ knew Apesley Sappington to be a coxcomb, and in
+their own minds did not believe him; but still they thought it scarcely
+worth while to allow their favourite pursuits to be interrupted for the
+sake of giving a ball to ladies that _might_ be unpresentable at
+Almack's, and that _possibly_ looked like _parvenues_ from the east side
+of Temple Bar.
+
+The belles, though much disappointed at the failure of the expected
+fête, proudly determined not to advert to the subject by the remotest
+hint in presence of the beaux; carefully avoiding even to mention the
+word cotillion when a gentleman was by. One young lady left off wishing
+that Taglioni would come to America, the name of that celebrated
+_artiste_ being synonymous with dancing; and another checked herself
+when about to inquire of her sister if she had seen a missing ball of
+silk, because the word ball was not to be uttered before one of the male
+sex.
+
+Things were in this uncomfortable state, when Miss Lucinda Mandeville,
+the belle _par excellence_, gave a turn to them which we shall relate,
+after presenting our readers with a sketch of the lady herself.
+
+Miss Mandeville was very beautiful, very accomplished, and very rich,
+and had just completed her twenty-second year. Her parents being dead,
+she presided over an elegant mansion in the most fashionable part of the
+city, having invited an excellent old lady, a distant relation of the
+family, to reside with her. Mrs. Danforth, however, was but nominally
+the companion of Miss Mandeville, being so entirely absorbed in books
+that it was difficult to get her out of the library.
+
+The hand of Miss Mandeville had been sought openly by one-half the
+gentlemen that boasted the honour of her acquaintance, and it had been
+hinted at by the other half, with the exception of Gordon Fitzsimmons, a
+young attorney of highly promising talents, whose ambition would have
+led him to look forward to the probability of arriving at the summit of
+his profession, but whose rise was, as yet, somewhat impeded by several
+very singular notions: such, for instance, as that a lawyer should never
+plead against his conscience, and never undertake what he knows to be
+the wrong side of a cause.
+
+Another of his peculiarities was a strange idea that no gentleman should
+ever condescend to be under pecuniary obligations to his
+wife--ergo--that a man who has nothing himself, should never marry a
+woman that has anything. This last consideration had induced Mr.
+Fitzsimmons to undertake the Herculean task of steeling his heart, and
+setting his face against the attractions of Miss Mandeville, with all
+her advantages of mind and person. Notwithstanding, therefore, that her
+conversation was always delightful to him, he rarely visited her, except
+when invited with other company.
+
+Lucinda Mandeville, who, since the age of sixteen, had been surrounded
+by admirers, and accustomed to all the adulation that is generally
+lavished on a beauty and an heiress, was surprised at the apparent
+coldness of Gordon Fitzsimmons, than whom she had never met with a young
+man more congenial to her taste. His manifest indifference continually
+attracted her attention, and, after awhile, she began to suspect that it
+was no indifference at all, and that something else lurked beneath it.
+What that was, the sagacity of her sex soon enabled her to discover.
+
+Fitzsimmons never urged Lucinda to play, never handed her to the piano,
+never placed her harp for her, never turned over the leaves of her music
+book; but she always perceived that though he affected to mingle with
+the groups that stood round as listeners, he uniformly took a position
+from whence he could see her to advantage all the time. When she
+happened to glance towards him, which, it must be confessed, she did
+much oftener than she intended (particularly when she came to the finest
+passage of her song), she never failed to find his eyes fixed on her
+face with a gaze of involuntary admiration, that, when they met, was
+instantly changed to an averted look of indifference.
+
+Though he was scrupulous in dancing with her once only in the course of
+the evening, she could not but perceive that, during this set, his
+countenance, in spite of himself, lighted up with even more than its
+usual animation. And if she accidentally turned her head, she saw that
+his eyes were following her every motion: as well indeed they might, for
+she danced with the lightness of a sylph, and the elegance of a lady.
+
+Notwithstanding his own acknowledged taste for everything connected with
+the fine arts, Fitzsimmons never asked to see Miss Mandeville's
+drawings. But she observed that after she had been showing them to
+others, and he supposed her attention to be elsewhere engaged, he failed
+not to take them up, and gaze on them as if he found it difficult to lay
+them down again.
+
+In conversation, he never risked a compliment to Miss Mandeville, but
+often dissented with her opinion, and frequently rallied her.--Yet when
+she was talking to any one else, he always contrived to be within
+hearing; and frequently, when engaged himself in conversing with others,
+he involuntarily stopped short to listen to what Lucinda was saying.
+
+Miss Mandeville had read much, and seen much, and had had much love
+made to her: but her heart had never, till now, been touched even
+slightly. That Fitzsimmons admired her, she could not possibly doubt:
+and that he loved her, she would have been equally certain, only that he
+continued all the time in excellent health and spirits; that, so far
+from sitting "like patience on a monument," he seldom sat anywhere; that
+when he smiled (which he did very often) it was evidently not at grief;
+and that the concealment he affected, was assuredly not feeding on his
+cheek, which, so far from turning "green and yellow," had lost nothing
+of its "natural ruby."
+
+Neither was our heroine at all likely to die for love. Though there
+seemed no prospect of his coming to a proposal, and though she was
+sometimes assured by the youngest and prettiest of her female friends,
+that they knew from authentic sources that Mr. Fitzsimmons had
+magnanimously declared against marrying a woman of fortune; yet other
+ladies, who were neither young nor handsome, and had no hope of Mr.
+Fitzsimmons for themselves, were so kind as to convince Miss Mandeville
+that he admired her even at "the very top of admiration." And these
+generous and disinterested ladies were usually, after such agreeable
+communications, invited by Miss Mandeville to pass the evening with her.
+
+Also--our heroine chanced one day to overhear a conversation between
+Dora, her own maid, and another mulatto girl; in which Dora averred to
+her companion that she had heard from no less authority than Squire
+Fitzsimmons's man Cato, "who always wore a blue coat, be the colour what
+it may, that the squire was dead in love with Miss Lucinda, as might be
+seen from many invisible _symptoms_, and that both Dora and Cato had a
+certain _foregiving_ that it would turn out a match at last, for all
+that the lady had the money on her side, which, to be sure, was rather
+unnatural; and that the wedding might be looked for _momently_, any
+minute."
+
+In the course of the next quarter of an hour, Miss Lucinda called Dora
+into her dressing-room, and presented her with a little Thibet shawl,
+which she had worn but once. Dora grinned understandingly: and from that
+time she contrived to be overheard so frequently in similar
+conversations, that much of the effect was diminished.
+
+To resume the thread of our narrative--Lucinda being one morning on a
+visit to her friend Miss Delwin, the latter adverted to the failure of
+the annual dancing party.
+
+"What would the beaux say," exclaimed Lucinda, struck with a sudden
+idea, "if the belles were to give a ball to _them_, by way of hinting
+our sense of their extraordinary remissness? Let us convince them that,
+according to the luminous and incontrovertible aphorism of the renowned
+Sam Patch, 'some things may be done as well as others.'"
+
+"Excellent," replied Miss Delwin; "the thought is well worth pursuing.
+Let us try what we can make of it."
+
+The two young ladies then proceeded to an animated discussion of the
+subject, and the more they talked of it, the better they liked it. They
+very soon moulded the idea into regular form: and, as there was no time
+to be lost, they set out to call on several of their friends, and
+mention it to them.
+
+The idea, novel as it seemed, was seized on with avidity by all to whom
+it was suggested, and a secret conclave was held on the following
+morning at Miss Mandeville's house, where the ladies debated with closed
+doors, while the plan was organized and the particulars arranged: our
+heroine proposing much that she thought would "point the moral and adorn
+the tale."
+
+Next day, notes of invitation to a ball given by the ladies, were sent
+round to the gentlemen; all of whom were surprised, and many mortified,
+for they at once saw the motive, and understood the implied reproof.
+Some protested that they should never have courage to go, and talked of
+declining the invitation. But the majority decided on accepting it,
+justly concluding that it was best to carry the thing off with a good
+grace; and having, besides, much curiosity to see how the ladies would
+_conduct_, if we may be pardoned a Yankeeism.
+
+Fitzsimmons declared that the delinquent beaux were rightly punished by
+this palpable hit of the belles. And he congratulated himself on having
+always voted in favour of the ball being given as formerly: secretly
+hoping that Miss Mandeville knew that _he_ had not been one of the
+backsliders. We are tolerably sure that she _did_ know it.
+
+Eventually the invitations were all accepted, and the preparations went
+secretly but rapidly on, under the superintendence of Miss Mandeville
+and Miss Delwin. In the mean time, the gentlemen, knowing that they all
+looked conscious and foolish, avoided the ladies, and kept themselves as
+much out of their sight as possible; with the exception of Gordon
+Fitzsimmons, he being the only one that felt freedom to "wear his beaver
+up."
+
+At length the eventful evening arrived. It had been specified in the
+notes that the ladies were to meet the gentlemen at the ball-room, which
+was a public one engaged for the occasion. Accordingly, the beaux found
+all the belles there before them: the givers of the _fête_ having gone
+in their own conveyances, an hour in advance of the time appointed for
+their guests.
+
+The six ladies that officiated as managers (and were all distinguished
+by a loop of blue riband drawn through their belts) met the gentlemen at
+the door as they entered the ball-room, and taking their hands,
+conducted them to their seats with much mock civility. The gentlemen,
+though greatly ashamed, tried in vain to look grave.
+
+The room was illuminated with astral lamps, whose silver rays shone out
+from clusters of blue and purple flowers, and with crystal chandeliers,
+whose pendent drops sparkled amid festoons of roses. The walls were
+painted of a pale and beautiful cream colour. Curtains of the richest
+crimson, relieved by their masses of shadow the brilliant lightness of
+the other decorations: their deep silken fringes reflected in the
+mirrors, whose polished surfaces were partially hidden by folds of their
+graceful drapery. The orchestra represented a splendid oriental tent;
+and the musicians were habited in uniform Turkish dresses, their white
+turbans strikingly contrasting their black faces.
+
+At the opposite end of the room was an excellent transparency, executed
+by an artist from a sketch by Miss Mandeville. It depicted a medley of
+scenery and figures, but so skilfully and tastefully arranged as to have
+a very fine effect when viewed as a whole. There was a Virginian lady
+assisting her cavalier to mount his horse--a Spanish damsel under the
+lattice of her lover, serenading him with a guitar--a Swiss _paysanne_
+supporting the steps of a chamois hunter as he timidly clambered up a
+rock--four Hindoo women carrying a Bramin in a palanquin--an English
+girl rowing a sailor in a boat--and many other anomalies of a similar
+description. Beneath the picture was a scroll fancifully ornamented, and
+containing the words "_Le monde renversé_."
+
+That nothing might be wanting to the effect of the ball, the ladies had
+made a point of appearing this evening in dresses unusually splendid and
+_recherché_. The elegant form of Lucinda Mandeville was attired in a
+rich purple satin, bordered with gold embroidery, and trimmed round the
+neck with blond lace. Long full sleeves of the same material threw
+their transparent shade over her beautiful arms, and were confined at
+intervals with bands of pearls clasped with amethysts. A chain of pearls
+was arranged above the curls of her dark and glossy hair, crossing at
+the back of her head, and meeting in front, where it terminated in a
+splendid amethyst aigrette. Three short white feathers, tastefully
+disposed at intervals, completed the coiffure, which was peculiarly
+becoming to the noble and resplendent style of beauty that distinguished
+our heroine; though to a little slight woman with light hair and eyes,
+it would have been exactly the contrary.
+
+"Did you ever see so princess-like a figure as Miss Mandeville?" said
+young Rainsford to Gordon Fitzsimmons, "or features more finely
+chiselled?"
+
+"I have never seen a princess," replied Fitzsimmons, "but from what I
+have heard, few of them look in reality as a princess should. Neither, I
+think, does the word _chiselled_ apply exactly to features, formed by a
+hand beside whose noble and beautiful creations the finest _chef
+d'oeuvres_ of sculpture are as nothing. I like not to hear of the
+human face being _well cut_ or _finely chiselled_: though these
+expressions have long been sanctioned by the currency of fashion. Why
+borrow from art a term, or terms, that so imperfectly defines the beauty
+of nature? When we look at a living face, with features more lovely than
+the imagination of an artist has ever conceived, or at a complexion
+blooming with health, and eyes sparkling with intelligence, why should
+our delight and our admiration be disturbed, by admitting any idea
+connected with a block of marble and the instruments that form it into
+shape?"
+
+"But you must allow," said Rainsford, "that Miss Mandeville has a fine
+classic head."
+
+"I acknowledge," said Fitzsimmons, "the graceful contour of the heads
+called classic. On this side of the Atlantic we have few opportunities
+of judging of antique sculpture, except from casts and engravings. But
+as to the faces of the nymphs and goddesses of Grecian art, I must
+venture to confess that they do not exactly comport with my ideas of
+female loveliness. Not to speak of their almost unvarying sameness (an
+evidence, I think, that they are not modelled from life, for nature
+never repeats herself), their chief characteristics are a cold
+regularity of outline, and an insipid straightness of nose and forehead,
+such as in a living countenance would be found detrimental to all
+expression. I know I am talking heresy: but I cannot divest myself of
+the persuasion, that a face with precisely the features that we are
+accustomed to admire in antique statuary, would, if clothed in flesh and
+blood, be scarcely considered beautiful."
+
+"Perhaps so," said Rainsford; "but you surely consider Miss Mandeville
+beautiful?"
+
+"The beauty of Lucinda Mandeville," replied Fitzsimmons, "is not that of
+a Grecian statue. It is the beauty of an elegant American lady, uniting
+all the best points of her countrywomen. Her figure is symmetry itself,
+and there is an ease, a grace, a dignity in her movements, which I have
+never seen surpassed. Her features are lovely in their form and charming
+in their expression, particularly her fine black eyes: and her
+complexion is unrivalled both in its bloom and its delicacy."
+
+"What a pity that Lucinda does not hear all this!" remarked Miss Delwin,
+who happened to be near Fitzsimmons and his friend.
+
+Fitzsimmons coloured, fearing that he had spoken with too much warmth:
+and, bowing to Miss Delwin, he took the arm of Rainsford, and went to
+another part of the room.
+
+Miss Delwin, however, lost no time in finding Lucinda, and repeated the
+whole, verbatim, to her highly gratified friend, who tried to look
+indifferent, but blushed and smiled all the time she was listening: and
+who, from this moment, felt a sensible accession to her usual excellent
+spirits.
+
+"Ladies," said Miss Delwin, "choose your partners for a cotillion."
+
+For a few moments the ladies hesitated, and held back at the idea of so
+novel a beginning to the ball: and Fitzsimmons, much amused, made a sign
+to his friends not to advance. Miss Mandeville came forward with a smile
+on her lips, and a blush on her cheeks. The heart of Fitzsimmons beat
+quick; but she passed him, and curtsying to young Colesberry, who was
+just from college, and extremely diffident, she requested the honour of
+his hand, and led him, with as much composure as she could assume, to a
+cotillion that was forming in the centre of the room; he shrinking and
+apologizing all the while. And Miss Delwin engaged Fitzsimmons.
+
+In a short time, all the ladies had provided themselves with partners.
+At first, from the singularity of their mutual situation, both beaux and
+belles felt themselves under considerable embarrassment, but gradually
+this awkwardness wore away, and an example being set by the master
+spirits of the assembly, there was much pleasantry on either side; all
+being determined to humour the jest, and sustain it throughout with as
+good a grace as possible.
+
+When the cotillions were forming for the second set, nearly a dozen
+young ladies found themselves simultaneously approaching Gordon
+Fitzsimmons, each with the design of engaging him as a partner. And this
+_empressement_ was not surprising, as he was decidedly the handsomest
+and most elegant man in the room.
+
+"Well, ladies," said Fitzsimmons, as they almost surrounded him, "you
+must decide among yourselves which of you is to take me out. All I can
+do is to stand still and be passive. But I positively interdict any
+quarrelling about me."
+
+"We have heard," said Miss Atherley, "of men dying of love, dying of
+grief, and dying from fear of death. We are now trying if it is not
+possible to make them die of vanity."
+
+"True," replied Fitzsimmons, "we may say with Harry the Fifth at
+Agincourt--'He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,'"--"'Will
+stand a-tiptoe when this day is named,'"--added Miss Atherley, finishing
+the quotation.
+
+Fitzsimmons did not reply; for his attention was at that moment engaged
+by seeing Miss Manderville leading out Apesley Sappington, and
+apparently much diverted with his absurdities.
+
+"Ladies," said Miss Atherley, looking round to her companions, "let us
+try a fair chance of Mr. Fitzsimmons--suppose we draw lots for him."
+
+"Do--by all means," exclaimed Fitzsimmons. "Set me up at a raffle."
+
+"No," replied Miss Atherley, "we cannot conveniently raffle for you, as
+we have no dice at hand. Another way will do as well."
+
+She then plucked from her bouquet some green rose-leaves, and half
+concealing them between her fingers, she offered the stems to each of
+her companions in turn, saying--"Whoever draws the largest rose-leaf may
+claim the honour of Mr. Fitzsimmons's hand for the next set."
+
+The lots were drawn, and the largest rose-leaf remained with Miss
+Atherley (who was a young lady of much beauty and vivacity), and whom
+her friends laughingly accused of foul play in contriving to hold it
+back, in which opinion Fitzsimmons assured them that he perfectly
+coincided. But Miss Atherley, however, led him triumphantly to the
+cotillion which, fortunately for his partner, did not happen to be the
+one in which Lucinda Mandeville was engaged.
+
+At the conclusion of each set, the ladies conducted the gentlemen to
+their seats, assisted them to the refreshments that were handed round,
+and stood by and fanned them. Most of the gentlemen took all this very
+well, but others were much disconcerted: particularly a grave
+knight-errant-looking Spaniard, who (having but lately arrived, and
+understanding the language but imperfectly) conceived that it was the
+custom in America for ladies to give balls to gentlemen, and to wait on
+them during the evening. In this error he was mischievously allowed to
+continue: but so much was his gallantry shocked, that he could not
+forbear dropping on his knees to receive the attentions that were
+assiduously proffered to him: bowing gratefully on the fair hands that
+presented him with a glass of orgeat or a plate of ice-cream.--And he
+was so overcome with the honour, and so deeply penetrated with a sense
+of his own unworthiness, when Lucinda Mandeville invited him to dance
+with her, that she almost expected to see him perform kotou, and knock
+his head nine times against the floor.
+
+Among others of the company was Colonel Kingswood, a very agreeable
+bachelor, long past the meridian of life, but not quite old enough to
+marry a young girl, his mind, as yet, showing no symptoms of dotage. His
+fortune was not sufficient to make him an object of speculation, and
+though courteous to all, his attentions were addressed exclusively to
+none. He was much liked by his young friends of both sexes, all of them
+feeling perfectly at ease in his society. Though he rarely danced, he
+was very fond of balls, and had participated in the vexation of Gordon
+Fitzsimmons when the beaux had declined giving their Christmas fête to
+the belles.
+
+In an interval between the sets, Lucinda suggested to a group of her
+fair companions, the propriety of asking Colonel Kingswood to dance; a
+compliment that he had not as yet received during the evening. "You
+know," said she, "the Colonel sometimes dances, and now that the ladies
+have assumed the privilege of choosing their partners, courtesy requires
+that none of the gentlemen should be neglected."
+
+But each declined asking Colonel Kingswood, on the plea that they had
+other partners in view.
+
+"For my part," said Miss Ormond, frankly, "I am just going to ask Mr.
+Wyndham. This is, perhaps, the only chance I shall ever have of dancing
+with him, as I am quite certain he will never ask _me_."
+
+"But, my dear Lucinda," said Miss Elgrove, "why not invite Colonel
+Kingswood yourself? There he is, talking to Mr. Fitzsimmons, near the
+central window. It is not magnanimous to propose to others what you are
+unwilling to do in _propriâ personâ_."
+
+Lucinda had, in reality, but one objection to proposing herself as a
+partner to Colonel Kingswood, and that was, his being just then engaged
+in conversation with Gordon Fitzsimmons, whom she felt a sort of
+conscious reluctance to approach. However, she paused a moment, and then
+summoned courage to join the two gentlemen and proffer her request to
+the Colonel, even though Fitzsimmons was close at hand.
+
+"My dear Miss Mandeville," said Colonel Kingswood, "I confess that I
+have not courage to avail myself of your very tempting proposal. As my
+fighting days are now over, I cannot stand the shot of the jealous eyes
+that will be directed at me from every part of the ball-room."
+
+"I have seen you dance," remarked Lucinda, evading the application of
+his compliment.
+
+"True," replied the Colonel, "but you might have observed that I never
+take out the _young_ ladies--always being so considerate as to leave
+them to the young gentlemen. I carry my disinterestedness so far as
+invariably to select partners that are _ni jeune, ni jolie_:
+notwithstanding the remarks I frequently hear about well-matched pairs,
+&c."
+
+"I am to understand, then," said Lucinda, "that you are mortifying me by
+a refusal."
+
+"Come, now, be honest," returned Colonel Kingswood, "and change the word
+'mortify' into _gratify_. But do not turn away. It is customary, you
+know, when a man is drawn for the militia and is unwilling to serve, to
+allow him to choose a substitute. Here then is mine. Advance, Mr.
+Fitzsimmons, and with such a partner I shall expect to see you 'rise
+from the ground like feather'd Mercury.'"
+
+Fitzsimmons came forward with sparkling eyes and a heightened colour,
+and offered his hand to Lucinda, whose face was suffused even to the
+temples. There were a few moments of mutual confusion, and neither party
+uttered a word till they had reached the cotillion. The music commenced
+as soon as they had taken their places, and Lucinda being desired by her
+opposite lady to lead, there was no immediate conversation.
+
+Our heroine called up all her pride, all her self-command, and all her
+native buoyancy of spirits; Fitzsimmons did the same, and they managed
+in the intervals of the dance to talk with so much vivacity, that each
+was convinced that their secret was still preserved from the other.
+
+When the set was over, they returned to the place in which they had left
+Colonel Kingswood, who received them with a smile.
+
+"Well, Miss Mandeville," said he, "what pretty things have you been
+saying to your partner?"
+
+"Ask Mr. Fitzsimmons," replied Lucinda.
+
+"Not a single compliment could I extract from her," said Fitzsimmons;
+"she had not even the grace to imply her gratitude for doing me the
+honour of dancing with me, or rather, for my doing her the honour. Ah!
+that is it--is it not? I forgot the present mode of expression. It is so
+difficult for one night only to get out of the old phraseology. But she
+certainly expressed no gratitude."
+
+"I owed you none," replied Lucinda; "for, like Malvolio, you have had
+greatness thrust upon you. You know you are only Colonel Kingswood's
+substitute."
+
+"Well," resumed Fitzsimmons, "have I not done my best to make 'the
+substitute shine brightly as the king?'"
+
+"Recollect that the king is now by," said Colonel Kingswood. "But, Miss
+Mandeville, you must go through your part. Consider that to-night is the
+only opportunity the gentlemen may ever have of hearing how adroitly the
+ladies can flatter them."
+
+"It is not in the bond," replied Lucinda.
+
+"What is not?"
+
+"That the ladies should flatter the gentlemen."
+
+"Excuse me," said Colonel Kingswood; "the ladies having voluntarily
+taken the responsibility, the gentlemen must insist on their going
+regularly through the whole ball with all its accompaniments, including
+compliments, flattery, and flirtation, and a seasoning of genuine
+courtship, of which last article there is always more or less at every
+large party. And as it appears that Miss Mandeville has not faithfully
+done her part during the dance, she must make amends by doing it now."
+
+"On the latter subject," said Fitzsimmons, "Miss Mandeville can need no
+prompting. Her own experience must have made her familiar with courtship
+in all its varieties."
+
+"Of course,"--resumed the Colonel.--"So, Miss Mandeville, you can be at
+no loss in what manner to begin."
+
+"And am I to stand here and be courted?" said Fitzsimmons.
+
+"Now do not be frightened," observed the Colonel, "and do not look round
+as if you were meditating an escape. I will stand by and see how you
+acquit yourself in this new and delightful situation. Come, Miss
+Mandeville, begin."
+
+"What sort of courtship will you have?" said Lucinda, who could not
+avoid laughing. "The sentimental, the prudential, or the downright?"
+
+"The downright, by all means," cried the Colonel. "No, no," said
+Fitzsimmons; "let me hear the others first. The downright would be too
+overwhelming without a previous preparation."
+
+Lucinda affected to hide her face with a feather that had fallen from
+her head during the dance, and which she still held in her hand, and she
+uttered hesitatingly and with downcast eyes--
+
+"If I could hope to be pardoned for my temerity in thus presuming to
+address one whose manifest perfections so preponderate in the scale,
+when weighed against my own demerits--"
+
+"Oh! stop, stop!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons; "this will never do!"
+
+"Why, it is just the way a poor young fellow courted me last summer,"
+replied Lucinda. "Come, let me go on. Conscious as I am that I might as
+well 'love a bright and particular star, and think to wed it--'"
+
+"You will never succeed in that strain," said Fitzsimmons, laughing.
+"You must try another."
+
+"Well, then," continued Lucinda, changing her tone, "here is the
+prudential mode. Mr. Gordon Fitzsimmons, thinking it probable (though I
+speak advisedly) that you may have no objection to change your
+condition, and believing (though perhaps I may be mistaken) that we are
+tolerably well suited to each other--I being my own mistress, and you
+being your own master--perceiving no great disparity of age, or
+incompatibility of temper--"
+
+"I like not this mode either," interrupted Fitzsimmons; "it is worse
+than the other."
+
+"Do you think so?" resumed Lucinda. "It is just the way a rich old
+fellow courted me last winter."
+
+"Nothing is more likely," said Fitzsimmons. "But neither of these modes
+will succeed with me."
+
+"Then," observed the Colonel, "there is nothing left but the plain
+downright."
+
+"Mr. Fitzsimmons, will you marry me?" said Lucinda.
+
+"With all my heart and soul," replied Fitzsimmons, taking her hand.
+
+"Oh! you forget yourself," exclaimed Lucinda, struggling to withdraw it.
+"You are not half so good a comedian as I am. You should look down, and
+play with your guard-chain; and then look up, and tell me you are
+perfectly happy in your single state--that marriage is a lottery--that
+our acquaintance has been too slight for either of us to form a correct
+opinion of the other. In short, you should say _no_."
+
+"By heavens!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons, kissing her beautiful hand; "I
+cannot say no--even in jest."
+
+Lucinda's first sensation was involuntary delight. But in a moment she
+was startled by the conviction that she had unthinkingly gone too far.
+The native delicacy of woman thrilled every nerve in her frame, and her
+cheeks varied alternately from red to pale. Shocked at the length to
+which she had inadvertently carried a dialogue begun in _badinage_, and
+confused, mortified, and distressed at its result, she forcibly
+disengaged her hand from that of Fitzsimmons, and turning to a lady and
+gentleman that she saw passing, she said she would accompany them to the
+other end of the room. Arrived there, she seated herself in the midst of
+a group that were warmly engaged in discussing the comparative merits of
+Spanish dances and Polish dances: and she endeavoured to collect her
+scattered thoughts, and compose the flutter of her spirits. But it was
+in vain--the more she reflected on the little scene that had just taken
+place, the more she regretted it.
+
+"What must Fitzsimmons think of me?" was her predominant idea. "His
+gallantry as a gentleman prompted his reply, but still how sadly I must
+have sunk in his opinion! That I should have allowed myself to be drawn
+into such a conversation! That I should have carried a foolish jest so
+far! But I will punish myself severely. I will expiate my folly by
+avoiding all farther intercourse with Gordon Fitzsimmons; and from this
+night we must become strangers to each other."
+
+The change in Lucinda's countenance and manner was now so obvious that
+several of her friends asked her if she was ill. To these questions she
+answered in the negative: but her cheeks grew paler, and the tears
+sprang to her eyes.
+
+Miss Delwin now approached, and said to her in a low voice--"My dear
+Lucinda, I perceive that you are suffering under some _contre-tems_; but
+such things, you know, are always incidental to balls, and all other
+assemblages where every one expects unqualified delight. We should be
+prepared for these contingencies, and when they do occur, the only
+alternative is to try to pass them over as well as we can, by making an
+effort to rally our spirits so as to get through the remainder of the
+evening with apparent composure, or else to plead indisposition and go
+home. Which course will you take?"
+
+"Oh! how gladly would I retire!" exclaimed Lucinda, scarcely able to
+restrain her tears. "But were I to do so, there are persons who might
+put strange constructions--or rather the company might be induced to
+make invidious remarks--"
+
+"By no means," interrupted Miss Delwin. "A lady may at any time be
+overcome with the heat and fatigue of a ball-room--nothing is more
+common."
+
+"But," said Lucinda, "were I to leave the company--were I to appear as
+if unable to stay--were I to evince so much emotion--he would, indeed,
+suppose me in earnest."
+
+"He!" cried Miss Delwin, looking surprised. "Of whom are you speaking,
+dear Lucinda? Who is it that would suppose you in earnest?"
+
+"No matter," replied Lucinda, "I spoke inadvertently; I forgot myself; I
+knew not what I was saying."
+
+"Dearest Lucinda," exclaimed Miss Delwin, "I am extremely sorry to find
+you so discomposed. What can have happened? At a more convenient time,
+may I hope that you will tell me?"
+
+"Oh! no, no," replied Lucinda, "it is impossible. I cannot speak of it
+even to you. Ask me no further. I am distressed, humiliated, shocked at
+myself (and she covered her face with her hands). But I cannot talk
+about it, now or ever."
+
+"Lucinda, my dear Lucinda," said Miss Delwin, "your agitation will be
+observed."
+
+"Then I must endeavour to suppress it," replied Lucinda, starting up. "I
+_must_ stay till this unfortunate ball is over; my going home would seem
+too pointed."
+
+"Let me then intreat you, my dear girl," said Miss Delwin, "to exert
+yourself to appear as usual. Come, take my arm, and we will go and talk
+nonsense to Apesley Sappington."
+
+Lucinda did make an effort to resume her usual vivacity. But it was
+evidently forced. She relapsed continually: and she resembled an actress
+that is one moment playing with her wonted spirit, and the next moment
+forgetting her part.
+
+"So," said Colonel Kingswood to Fitzsimmons, after Lucinda had left them
+together, "I am to infer that you are are really in love with Miss
+Mandeville?"
+
+"Ardently--passionately--and I long to tell her so in earnest," replied
+Fitzsimmons; and he took up the feather that Lucinda in her agitation
+had dropped from her hand.
+
+"Of course, then, you will make your proposal to-morrow morning," said
+the colonel.
+
+"No," replied Fitzsimmons, concealing the feather within the breast of
+his coat. "I cannot so wound her delicacy. I see that she is
+disconcerted at the little scene into which we inadvertently drew her,
+and alarmed at the idea that perhaps she allowed herself to go too far.
+I respect her feelings, and I will spare them. But to me she has long
+been the most charming woman in existence."
+
+"What, then," inquired the colonel, "has retarded the disclosure of your
+secret, if secret it may be called?"
+
+"Her superiority in point of fortune," replied Fitzsimmons. "You know
+the small amount of property left me by my father, and that in my
+profession I am as yet but a beginner; though I must own that my
+prospects of success are highly encouraging. To say nothing of my
+repugnance to reversing the usual order of the married state, and
+drawing the chief part of our expenditure from the money of my wife, how
+could I expect to convince her that my motives in seeking her hand were
+otherwise than mercenary?"
+
+"Are they?" said Colonel Kingswood, with a half smile.
+
+"No, on my soul they are not," replied Fitzsimmons, earnestly. "Were our
+situations reversed, I would, without a moment's hesitation, lay all
+that I possessed at her feet, and think myself the most honoured, the
+most fortunate of men if I could obtain a gem whose intrinsic value
+requires not the aid of a gold setting."
+
+"Do you suppose, then," said Colonel Kingswood, "that a lovely and
+elegant woman like Miss Lucinda Mandeville can have so humble an opinion
+of herself as to suppose that she owes all her admirers to her wealth,
+and that there is nothing attractive about her but her bank-stock and
+her houses?"
+
+"Since I first knew Miss Mandeville," replied Fitzsimmons, "I have
+secretly cherished the hope of being one day worthy of her acceptance.
+And this hope has incited me to be doubly assiduous in my profession,
+with the view of ultimately acquiring both wealth and distinction. And
+when I have made a name, as well as a fortune, I shall have no scruples
+in offering myself to her acceptance."
+
+"And before all this is accomplished," observed the colonel, "some lucky
+fellow, with a ready-made fortune, and a ready-made name, or, more
+probably, some bold adventurer with neither, may fearlessly step in and
+carry off the prize."
+
+"There is madness in the thought!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons, putting his
+hand to his forehead.
+
+"Did it never strike you before?" inquired the colonel.
+
+"It has, it has," cried Fitzsimmons; "a thousand times has it passed
+like a dark cloud over the sunshine of my hopes."
+
+"Take my advice," said the colonel, "and address Miss Mandeville at
+once."
+
+"Fool that I was!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons, "how could I be so utterly
+absurd--so devoid of all tact, as to reply to her unguarded _badinage_
+in a tone of reality! No wonder she looked so disconcerted, so shocked.
+At this moment, how she must hate me!"
+
+"I am not so sure of that," observed the colonel; "but take my advice,
+and let the _etourderie_ of this evening be repaired by the opening it
+affords you of disclosing your real feelings to the object of your
+love."
+
+"I cannot," replied Fitzsimmons, "I cannot, after what has passed, run
+the risk of giving farther offence to her delicacy."
+
+"Her delicacy," remarked the colonel, "may be more deeply offended by
+your delaying the disclosure. But we must separate for the present. If
+Miss Mandeville sees us talking together so earnestly, she may justly
+suppose herself the object of discussion."
+
+The two gentlemen parted; and Fitzsimmons, feeling it impossible to
+speak to Lucinda again that evening, and having no inclination to talk
+to any one else, withdrew from the ball, and passed two hours in
+traversing his own room.
+
+After the departure of her lover, Lucinda felt more at her ease;
+particularly as Colonel Kingswood was so considerate as to avoid
+approaching her. During the remainder of the evening, she exerted
+herself with such success as to recall a portion of her natural
+sprightliness, and of the habitual self-command that she had acquired
+from living in the world of fashion.
+
+Supper was announced. The ladies, persisting in their assumed
+characters, conducted the gentlemen to the table, where the profusion
+and variety of the delicacies that composed the feast, could only be
+equalled by the taste and elegance with which they were decorated and
+arranged. The belles filled the plates of the beaux, and poured out the
+wine for them; and many pretty things were said about ambrosia and
+nectar.
+
+At the conclusion of the banquet, the band in the orchestra, on a signal
+from some of the gentlemen, struck up the symphony to a favourite air
+that chiefly owes its popularity to the words with which Moore has
+introduced it into his melodies; and "To ladies' eyes a round, boys,"
+was sung in concert by all the best male voices in the room. The song
+went off with much eclat, and made a pleasant conclusion to the evening.
+
+After the belles had curtsied out the beaux, and retired to the
+cloak-room to equip themselves for their departure, they found the
+gentlemen all waiting to see them to their carriages, and assist in
+escorting them home: declaring that as the play was over, and the
+curtain dropped, they must be allowed to resume their real characters.
+
+When Lucinda Mandeville arrived at her own house, and found herself
+alone in her dressing-room, all the smothered emotions of the evening
+burst forth without restraint, and leaning her head on the arm of the
+sofa, she indulged in a long fit of tears before she proceeded to take
+off her ornaments. But when she went to her psyche for that purpose, she
+could not help feeling that hers was not a face and figure to be seen
+with indifference, and that in all probability the unguarded warmth with
+which Fitzsimmons had replied to her mock courtship, was only the
+genuine ebullition of a sincere and ardent passion.
+
+It was long before she could compose herself to sleep, and her dreams
+were entirely of the ball and of Fitzsimmons. When she arose next
+morning, she determined to remain all day up stairs, and to see no
+visiters; rejoicing that the fatigue of the preceding evening would
+probably keep most of her friends at home.
+
+About noon, Gordon Fitzsimmons, who had counted the moments till then,
+sent up his card with a pencilled request to see Miss Mandeville.
+Terrified, agitated, and feeling as if she never again could raise her
+eyes to his face, or open her lips in his presence, Lucinda's first
+thought was to reply that she was indisposed, but she checked herself
+from sending him such a message, first, because it was not exactly the
+truth, and secondly, lest he should suppose that the cause of her
+illness might have some reference to himself. She therefore desired the
+servant simply to tell Mr. Fitzsimmons that Miss Mandeville could
+receive no visiters that day.
+
+But Fitzsimmons was not now to be put off. He had been shown into one of
+the parlours, and going to the writing-case on the centre-table, he took
+a sheet of paper, and addressed to her an epistle expressing in the most
+ardent terms his admiration and his love, and concluding with the hope
+that she would grant him an interview. There was not, of course, the
+slightest allusion to the events of the preceding evening. The letter
+was conceived with as much delicacy as warmth, and highly elevated the
+writer in the opinion of the reader. Still, she hesitated whether to see
+him or not. Her heart said yes--but her pride said no. And at length she
+most heroically determined to send him a written refusal, not only of
+the interview but of himself, that in case he should have dared to
+presume that the unfortunate scene at the ball could possibly have meant
+anything more than a jest, so preposterous an idea might be banished
+from his mind for ever.
+
+In this spirit she commenced several replies to his letter, but found it
+impossible to indite them in such terms as to satisfy herself; and,
+after wasting half a dozen sheets of paper with unsuccessful beginnings,
+she committed them all to the fire. Finally, she concluded that she
+could explain herself more effectually in a personal interview, whatever
+embarrassment the sight of him might occasion her. But not being able at
+this time to summon courage to meet him face to face, she sent down a
+note of three lines, informing Mr. Fitzsimmons that she would see him in
+the evening at seven o'clock.
+
+Several of Lucinda's friends called to talk about the ball, but she
+excused herself from seeing them, and passed the remainder of the day up
+stairs, in one long thought of Fitzsimmons, and in dwelling on the
+painful idea that the avowal of his sentiments had, in all probability,
+been elicited by her indiscretion of the preceding evening. "But," said
+she to herself, "I will steadily persist in declining his addresses; I
+will positively refuse him, for unless I do so, I never can recover my
+own self-respect. I will make this sacrifice to delicacy, and even then
+I shall never cease to regret my folly in having allowed myself to be
+carried so far in the thoughtless levity of the moment."
+
+Being thus firmly resolved on dismissing her admirer, it is not to be
+supposed that Lucinda could attach the smallest consequence to looking
+well that evening, during what she considered their final interview.
+Therefore we must, of course, attribute to accident the length of time
+she spent in considering which she should wear of two new silk dresses;
+one being of the colour denominated _ashes of roses_--the other of the
+tint designated as _monkey's sighs_. Though ashes of roses seemed
+emblematic of an extinguished flame, yet monkey's sighs bore more direct
+reference to a rejected lover, which, perhaps, was the reason that she
+finally decided on it. There was likewise a considerable demur about a
+canezou and a pelerine, but eventually the latter carried the day. And
+it was long, also, before she could determine on the most becoming style
+of arranging her hair, wavering between plaits and braids. At last the
+braids had it.
+
+Mr. Fitzsimmons was announced a quarter before seven, his watch being
+undoubtedly too fast. Lucinda came down in ill-concealed perturbation,
+repeating to herself, as she descended the stairs, "Yes--my rejection of
+him shall be positive--and my adherence to it firm and inexorable."
+
+Whether it was so we will not presume to say, but this much is
+certain--that in a month from that time the delinquent gentlemen made
+the _amende honorable_ by giving the ladies a most splendid ball, at
+which the _ci-devant_ Miss Mandeville and Mr. Gordon Fitzsimmons made
+their first appearance in public as bride and bridegroom, to the great
+delight of Colonel Kingswood.
+
+
+
+
+THE RED BOX,
+
+OR,
+
+SCENES AT THE GENERAL WAYNE.
+
+A TALE.
+
+    ----"Just of the same piece
+    Is every flatterer's spirit."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+In one of the most beautiful counties of Pennsylvania, and in the
+immediate vicinity of the Susquehanna, stood an old fashioned country
+tavern, known by the designation of the General Wayne. Of its landlord
+and his family, and of some little incidents that took place within its
+precincts about forty years ago, it is our purpose to relate a few
+particulars.
+
+The proprietor of the house and of the fine farm that surrounded it, was
+by birth a New-Englander; and having served in Washington's army during
+the whole of the revolutionary war, he was still distinguished by the
+title of Colonel Brigham. When, on the return of peace, he resumed his
+original occupation of farming, he concluded to settle on the genial
+soil of Pennsylvania, and removed thither with his wife, their little
+daughter, and an adopted child named Oliver, a fine boy whom they
+boasted of loving equally with their own Fanny; that he was equally
+indulged admitted not of a doubt.
+
+As Oliver advanced to manhood he took the chief charge of the farm, and
+Mrs. Brigham with great difficulty prevailed on her husband to set up an
+inn; partly to give himself more occupation, and partly because his
+boundless hospitality in entertaining gratuitously all strangers that
+came into the neighbourhood, had become rather too much of a tax.
+
+Accordingly, a range of stalls for horses was erected at a short
+distance from the house, which was beautified with a new porch, running
+all along the front, and furnished with green benches. A village artist
+(who was not only a painter, but a glazier also) was employed to
+contrive a sign, which it was expected would surpass all that had ever
+been seen in the country; it being neither Buck nor Fox, neither Black
+Horse, Green Tree, Conestoga Wagon, or any of those every-day things.
+
+The painter's ideas were committed to board in the shape of the
+landlord's old commander, General Anthony Wayne. This effigy was
+evidently designed for that of a human being, but the artist had begun
+the upper part on so large a scale, that there was little or no room for
+the body and limbs; the gallant general looking as if crushed down by
+the weight of his hat and head. He stood upon a narrow strip of
+verdigris green, with his two heels together, and his toes wonderfully
+turned out. The facings of his coat, and all his under-clothes, were of
+gold. He wielded in one hand an enormous sword--the other held out a
+pistol in the act of going off--and he leaned on a cannon from whence
+issued a flash of scarlet fire, and a cloud of sky-blue smoke.
+
+It is true, that when the sign came home, the colonel made many
+objections to it, declaring that gold breeches had never been worn in
+the continental army, and that no man ever stood still leaning on a gun
+at the moment it was discharged--neither did he think it by any means a
+good likeness of General Wayne. But Mrs. Brigham reminded her husband
+that there was no use in telling all this to everybody, and that it
+might suit some people's ideas of General Wayne--adding, that she never
+saw a sign that _was_ a good likeness, except Timothy Grimshaw's White
+Lion, which looked exactly like Timothy himself.
+
+Oliver averred that the artist was certainly a liberal man, and had
+given them the full worth of their money, for beside the gilding, there
+was more paint on it than on any sign he had ever seen.
+
+Their neighbour, Tempy Walters, was, however, of opinion that they had
+been greatly overcharged, for that a man had painted her brother's
+cellar-door (which was considerably larger than this sign) for half the
+money. "To be sure," added Tempy, "there was no gold on the
+cellar-door--but it must have taken twice the paint."
+
+To be brief, the colonel dismissed the case by paying the artist rather
+more than he asked--telling him, also, that he should be glad to see him
+at his house whenever he chose to come, and that his visits should not
+cost him a cent.
+
+There never, perhaps, was a less profitable tavern than the General
+Wayne. The people of the neighbourhood were amazingly sober, and Mrs.
+Brigham allowed no tipplers to lounge about the bar-room or porch. The
+charges were so moderate as scarcely to cover the actual cost of the
+good things which were so profusely lavished on the table, and the
+family could not relinquish the habit of treating their guests as
+visiters and friends. Colonel Brigham always found some reason why such
+and such articles were not worth considering at all, and why such and
+such people could not afford to pay as well as he could afford to give
+them food and shelter. On soldiers, of course, he bestowed gratuitous
+entertainment, and was never more delighted than when he saw them
+coming. Pedlers and tinmen always took it--and emigrants on their way to
+the back settlements were invariably told to keep their money to help
+pay for their land.
+
+But though tavern-keeping did not realize the anticipations of Mrs.
+Brigham in operating as a check on the hospitality of her husband,
+still, as she said, it kept him about the house, and prevented him from
+heating and fatiguing himself in the fields, and from interfering with
+Oliver in the management of the farm--Oliver always doing best when left
+to himself. It must be understood that this youth, though virtually a
+dependant on the bounty of the Brighams, evinced as free and determined
+a spirit as if he had been literally "monarch of all he surveyed." He
+was active, industrious, frank to a fault, brave and generous; and would
+have fought at any moment in defence of any member of the family; or,
+indeed, for any member of any other family, if he conceived them to have
+been injured.
+
+Between Oliver and Fanny Brigham there was as yet no demonstration of
+any particular attachment. They had been brought up so much like brother
+and sister that they seemed not to know when to begin to fall in love.
+Fanny coquetted with the smart young men in the neighbourhood, and
+Oliver flirted with the pretty girls; not seeming to perceive that Fanny
+was the prettiest of all. The old people, however, had it very much at
+heart for a match to take place between the young people, as the best
+preventive to Oliver "going west" (a thing he sometimes talked of, in
+common with the generality of young farmers), and therefore they watched
+closely, and were always fancying that they detected symptoms of real
+_bona fide_ love. If the young people quarrelled, it was better so than
+that they should feel nothing for each other but mutual indifference. If
+they appeared indifferent, it was supposed that Fanny was modestly
+veiling her genuine feelings, and that Oliver was disguising his to try
+the strength of hers. If they talked and laughed together, they were
+animated by each other's society. If they were silent, they had the
+matter under serious consideration. If Fanny received with complaisance
+the civilities of a rural beau, and if Oliver devoted his attention to a
+rural belle, it was only to excite each other's jealousy. On one thing,
+however, the old people were agreed--which was, that it was best not to
+hurry matters. In this they judged from their own experience; for Mrs.
+Brigham had lost her first lover (a man that had come to see her every
+Wednesday and Saturday for five years and a half) because her father
+prematurely asked him what his intentions were. And Colonel Brigham had
+been refused no less than nine times, in consequence of "popping the
+question" at his first interview--a way he had when he was young.
+
+So equal, however, was their love for the two children (as they still
+continued to call them), so anxious were they to keep Oliver always with
+them, and so impossible did it seem to them to think of any other young
+man as a son-in-law, that they would have sacrificed much to bring about
+so desirable a conclusion. But we have been loitering too long on the
+brink of our story, and it is time we were fairly afloat.
+
+One clear, mild autumnal evening, Colonel Brigham (who for himself never
+liked benches) was occupying a few chairs in his front porch, and
+reading several newspapers; looking occasionally towards a cider-press
+under a large tree, round which lay a mountain of apples that a horse
+and a black boy were engaged in grinding. The colonel was habited in
+striped homespun trousers, a dark brown waistcoat with silver buttons,
+and no coat--but he took great pride in always wearing a clean shirt of
+fine country-made linen. As relics of his former military capacity, he
+persisted in a three-cocked hat and a black stock. He had joined the
+army in the meridian of life, and he was now a large, stout, handsome
+old man, with a clear blue eye, and silver gray hair curling on each
+side of a broad high forehead. Suddenly a stage that passed the house
+twice a week, stopped before the door. The only passengers in it were an
+old gentleman who occupied the back seat, and four young ones that sat
+on the two others, all with their faces towards him.
+
+"Can we be accommodated at this inn for a few days?" said the elder
+stranger, looking out at the side. Colonel Brigham replied in the
+affirmative, adding that just then there were no guests in the house.
+"So much the better," said the old gentleman; "I like the appearance of
+this part of the country, and may as well be here for a little while as
+any where else." And making a sign to the young ones, they all four
+scrambled out of the stage with such eagerness as nearly to fall over
+each other--and every one took a part in assisting him down the steps,
+two holding him by the hands, and two by the elbows. But as soon as his
+feet touched the ground, he shook them all off as if scattering them to
+the four winds. He was a small slender old man, but of a florid
+complexion, and showed no indication of infirm health, but the excessive
+care that he took of himself--being enveloped in a great coat, over it a
+fur tippet round his neck, and his hat was tied down with a silk
+handkerchief.
+
+"Sir, you are welcome to the General Wayne," said Colonel Brigham,
+"though I cannot say much for the sign. That was not the way brave
+Anthony looked at Stony Point. May I ask the favour of your name?"
+
+The stranger looked at first as if unaccustomed to this question, and
+unwilling to answer it. However, after a pause, he deigned to designate
+himself as Mr. Culpepper, and slightly mentioned the four young men as
+his nephews, the Mr. Lambleys. There was a family likeness throughout
+the brothers. They were all tall and slender--all had the same
+fawn-coloured hair, the same cheeks of a dull pink, the same smiling
+mouths habitually turned up at the corners, and faces that looked as if
+all expression had been subdued out of them, except that their
+greenish-gray eyes had the earnest intent look, that is generally found
+in those of dumb people.
+
+Mr. Culpepper was conducted into a parlour, where (though the evening
+was far from cold) he expressed his satisfaction at finding a fire. He
+deposited on the broad mantel-piece a small red morocco box which he had
+carried under his arm, and while his nephews (who had all been to see
+the baggage deposited) were engaged in disrobing him of his extra
+habiliments, he addressed himself to Colonel Brigham, whom he seemed to
+regard with particular complaisance.
+
+"Well, landlord," said he; "you are, perhaps, surprised at my stopping
+here?"
+
+"Not at all," said the colonel.
+
+"The truth is," pursued Mr. Culpepper, "I am travelling for my health,
+and therefore I am taking cross-roads, and stopping at out of the way
+places. For there is no health to be got by staying in cities, and
+putting up at crowded hotels, and accepting invitations to
+dinner-parties and tea-parties, or in doing anything else that is called
+fashionable."
+
+"Give me your hand, sir," said Colonel Brigham; "you are a man after my
+own heart!"
+
+The four Mr. Lambleys stared at the landlord's temerity, and opened
+their eyes still wider when they saw it taken perfectly well, and that
+their uncle actually shook hands with the innkeeper. This emboldened
+them to murmur something in chorus about their all disliking fashion.
+
+"And pray," said old Culpepper, "why should you do that? 'Tis just as
+natural for young people to like folly, as it is for old people to be
+tired of it. And I am certain you have never seen so much of fashion as
+to be surfeited with it already."
+
+The nephews respectfully assented.
+
+It had already come to the knowledge of Mrs. Brigham (who was busily
+occupied up stairs in filling with new feathers some pillow-ticks which
+Fanny was making) that a party of distinguished strangers had arrived.
+"Fanny, Fanny," she exclaimed, opening the door of the adjoining room,
+in which Fanny was seated at her sewing, "there are great people below
+stairs. Get fixed in a moment, and go down and speak to them. I am glad
+your father has had sense enough to take them into the front parlour."
+
+"But, mother," replied Fanny, "I saw them from the window when they got
+out of the stage. They are all men people, and I know I shall be
+ashamed, as they are quite strange to me, and I suppose are very great
+gentlemen. Won't it suit better for you to go?"
+
+"Don't you see how the feathers are all over me?" said Mrs. Brigham: "it
+will take me an hour to get them well picked off, and myself washed and
+dressed. Get fixed at once, and go down and let the strangers see that
+the women of the house have proper manners. If you think you'll feel
+better with something in your hands, make some milk punch, and take it
+in to them."
+
+Fanny's habitual neatness precluded any real necessity for an alteration
+in her dress--but still she thought it expedient to put on a new glossy
+blue gingham gown, and a clean muslin collar with a nicely plaited frill
+round it. This dress would have been very well, but that Fanny, in her
+desire to appear to great advantage, added a long sash of red and green
+plaid riband, and a large white satin bow deposited in the curve of her
+comb. Then, having turned herself round three or four times before the
+glass, to ascertain the effect, she descended the stairs, and in the
+entry met Oliver, who had just come in at the front door, and had seen
+from the barn-yard the arrival of the guests.
+
+"Fanny," said Oliver, "why have you put on that great white top-knot? It
+makes you look like one of the cockatoos in the Philadelphia Museum. Let
+me take it off."
+
+"Oh! Oliver, Oliver!" exclaimed Fanny, putting her hands to her head,
+"how you have spoiled my hair!"
+
+"And this long sash streaming out at one side," pursued Oliver, "how
+ridiculous it looks!" And he dexterously twitched it off, saying,
+"There, take these fly-traps up stairs--they only disfigure you. I
+thought so the other day when you wore them at Mary Shortstitch's sewing
+frolic. You are much better without them."
+
+"But I am _not_," said Fanny, angrily snatching them from his hand;
+"look how you've crumpled them up! Instead of finding fault with me for
+wishing to look respectfully to the strangers, you had best go and make
+yourself fit to be seen."
+
+"I always am fit to be seen," replied Oliver, "and you know very well
+that I always do put myself in order as soon as I have done my work. But
+as for dressing up in any remarkable finery on account of four or five
+strange men, it is not in my line to do so. If, indeed, there were some
+smart girls along, it would be a different thing: but it is not my way
+to show too much respect to any man."
+
+"I believe you, indeed," remarked Fanny.
+
+"Well, well," said Oliver, "your hair is pretty enough of itself--and
+you fix it so nicely that it wants no top-knot to set it off; and this
+party-coloured sash only spoils the look of your waist. I hate to see
+you make a fool of yourself."
+
+Fanny tossed her head in affected disdain, but she smiled as she ran up
+stairs to put away the offending ribands. She found her mother leaning
+down over the banisters, and looking very happy at Oliver's desire that
+Fanny should not make a fool of herself.
+
+Fanny, having prepared the milk-punch in the best possible manner,
+filled half a dozen tumblers with it, grating a profusion of nutmeg over
+each, and then arranged them on a small waiter. When she entered the
+parlour with it, Mr. Culpepper, who called himself a confirmed invalid,
+was engaged in giving her father a particular description of all his
+ailments; and the four nephews were listening with an air of intense
+interest, as if it was the first they had heard of them.
+
+"This is my daughter, Fanny," said Colonel Brigham, and Mr. Culpepper
+stopped short in his narrative, and his nephews all turned their eyes to
+look at her. When she handed the milk-punch the old gentleman declined
+it, alleging that the state of his health did not permit him to taste
+any sort of liquor. His nephews were going to follow his example, till
+he said to them peremptorily--
+
+"Take it--there is nothing the matter with any of you. If there is, say
+so."
+
+The Mr. Lambleys all rose to receive their tumblers, their uncle having
+made them a sign to that purpose, and Fanny thought herself treated with
+great respect, and curtsied, blushingly, to every one as he set down his
+glass.
+
+"From such a Hebe it is difficult to refuse nectar," said the old
+gentleman, gallantly.
+
+"A Hebe, indeed!" echoed the nephews.
+
+The uncle frowned at them, and they all looked foolish--even more so
+than usual.
+
+"Now, Fanny, my dear," said her father, "you may go out, and send in
+Oliver."
+
+"Mother," said Fanny, as she joined Mrs. Brigham in the pantry, "I like
+these strangers quite well. They were very polite indeed--but they
+called me _Phebe_--I wonder why?"
+
+When Oliver made his appearance, Colonel Brigham introduced him as "a
+boy he had raised, and who was just the same as a son to him." Mr.
+Culpepper surveyed Oliver from head to foot, saying, "Upon my word--a
+fine-looking youth! Straight--athletic--brown and ruddy--dark hair and
+eyes--some meaning in his face. See, young men--there's a pattern for
+you."
+
+The four Mr. Lambleys exchanged looks, and tried in vain to conceal
+their inclination to laugh.
+
+"Behave yourselves," said the uncle, in a stern voice.
+
+The nephews behaved.
+
+The supper table was now set, and Mr. Culpepper had become so gracious
+with his landlord, as to propose that he and his nephews should eat with
+the family during their stay. "That is what my guests always do," said
+Colonel Brigham; "and then we can see that all is right, and that they
+are well served."
+
+When supper came in, Mr. Culpepper declined leaving the fire-side; and
+having previously had some cocoa brought from one of his travelling
+boxes, and prepared according to his own directions, he commenced his
+repast on a small round table or stand, that was placed beside him,
+declaring that his evening meal never consisted of anything more than a
+little cocoa, sago, or arrow-root.
+
+But after taking a survey of the variety of nice-looking things that
+were profusely spread on the supper-table, the old gentleman so far
+broke through his rule, as to say he would try a cup of tea and a rusk.
+When Mrs. Brigham had poured it out, the four nephews, who at their
+uncle's sign manual had just taken their seats at the table, all started
+up at once to hand him his cup, though there was a black boy in
+attendance. The business was finally adjusted by one of the Mr. Lambleys
+taking the tea-cup, one the cream-jug, one the sugar-dish, and one the
+plate of rusk; and he of the cup was kept going all the time, first to
+have more water put into it, then more tea, then more water, and then
+more tea again. The invalid next concluded to try a cup of coffee, to
+counteract, as he said, any bad effects that might arise from the tea;
+and he ventured, also, on some well-buttered buckwheat cake and honey.
+He was afterwards emboldened to attempt some stewed chicken and milk
+toast, and finally finished with preserved peaches and cream.
+
+All these articles were carried to him by his nephews, jumping up and
+running with an _empressement_, that excited the amazement of Mrs.
+Brigham, the pity of Fanny, the smiles of her father, and the
+indignation of Oliver.
+
+The females retired with the supper equipage; and finding that Colonel
+Brigham had served in the war of independence, Mr. Culpepper engaged him
+in recounting some reminiscences of those eventful times; for the
+veteran had seen and known much that was well worth hearing.
+
+The Mr. Lambleys, unaccustomed to feel or to affect an interest in
+anything that was not said or done by their uncle, looked very weary,
+and at last became palpably sleepy. They all sat in full view, and
+within reach of old Culpepper, who, whenever he perceived them to nod,
+or to show any other indication of drowsiness, poked at them with his
+cane, so as effectually to rouse them for a time, causing them to start
+forward, and set their faces to a smile, stretching up their eyes to
+keep them wide open.
+
+At last the colonel, who was much amused by the absurdity of the scene,
+came to a full pause. "Go on," said Culpepper, "never mind their
+nodding. I'll see that they do not go to sleep."
+
+The colonel, out of compassion to the young men, shortened his story as
+much as possible, and finally, on Mrs. Brigham sending in the black boy
+with bed-candles, Mr. Culpepper looked at his watch, and rose from his
+chair. The nephews were all on their feet in a moment. One tied the old
+man's fur tippet round his neck, to prevent his taking cold in ascending
+the staircase, another put on his hat for him, and the two others
+contended for the happiness of carrying his cloak. "What are you about?"
+said Mr. Culpepper; "do not you see my greatcoat there on the chair?
+Take that, one of you."
+
+He bade good night, and the procession began to move, headed by Peter,
+the black boy, lighting them up stairs.
+
+As soon as they were entirely out of hearing, Colonel Brigham, who had
+with difficulty restrained himself, broke out into a laugh, but Oliver
+traversed the room indignantly.
+
+"I have no patience," said he, "with such fellows. To think that
+full-grown men--men that have hands to work and get their own living,
+should humble themselves to the dust, and submit to be treated as
+lacqueys by an old uncle (or, indeed, by anybody), merely because he
+happens to be rich, and they expect to get his money when he sees proper
+to die, which may not be these twenty years, for it is plain that
+nothing ails him. 'I'd rather be a dog and bay the moon,' as I once
+heard an actor say in the Philadelphia play-house. Now I talk of
+Philadelphia; I have engaged all our next barley to Wortley & Hopkins.
+They pay better than Maltman & Co. But these Lambleys, Sheepleys
+rather--I saw them from the barn, handing the old fellow out of the
+stage. I almost expected to see them lift his feet for him; I was glad
+he scattered them all as soon as he had got down the steps. I dare say
+if he rides on horseback, they all four run beside him and hold him on
+his horse. Now I talk of horses, I've concluded to keep the two bay
+colts, and raise them myself. Tom Martingale shall not have them for the
+price he offers. To see how these chaps fetch and carry, and rise up and
+sit down, just at that old fellow's beck. It would be harder work for me
+than following the plough from sunrise to sunset, were I obliged to do
+so. Now I talk of ploughing; I bought another yoke of oxen yesterday,
+and hired a Dutchman. I shall put the five-acre field in corn. That old
+villain! you may see by his eye that he is despising them all the time.
+Why should not he? ninnies as they are. I wonder where they all came
+from? I do not believe they are Americans."
+
+"And yet," said Colonel Brigham, "they do not speak like Englishmen, and
+I am sure they are neither Scotch nor Irish."
+
+"I hear them all pacing about up stairs in the old fellow's room," said
+Oliver; "think of four men putting one man to bed, or of any one man
+allowing four to do it. But 'their souls are subdued to what they work
+in,' as I heard another play-actor say. By-the-bye, the old rogue has
+forgotten his red box, and left it on the mantel-piece. I wonder what is
+in it?"
+
+"Maybe it is full of gold money," said Mrs. Brigham, who had just
+entered the room with Fanny; the daughter proceeding to put back the
+chairs, while the mother swept up the hearth.
+
+"Bank notes rather," said Oliver.
+
+"Jewels, I think," said Fanny.
+
+"Deeds of property, perhaps," said the colonel.
+
+"Well, well," said Mrs. Brigham, "'tis time for all good people to be in
+bed, so we'll let the strangers and their box rest till to-morrow."
+
+"I think," observed the colonel, "the box had best be carried up to
+them. Take it, Oliver."
+
+"I just heard the young men leave their uncle's room to go to their
+own," said Mrs. Brigham. "May be it won't do to disturb him, now he's in
+bed."
+
+"Then let it be taken to the young men," returned the colonel. "Where
+have you put them?"
+
+"I told Peter to show them all to the four-bedded room, at the other end
+of the house," answered Mrs. Brigham, "as they seemed to be alike in
+everything. I supposed they always prefer sleeping in the same place.
+All the four beds have exactly the same blue and white coverlets."
+
+"Well," said Oliver, "I'll take them the box as I pass their room on the
+way to my own. But I must go first to the stable, and see how Sorrel's
+foot is; I cannot be satisfied if I do not look at it once more
+to-night."
+
+The other members of the family now retired to their apartments, and
+Oliver took a lantern and went to the stable, to inspect again the state
+of the disabled horse.
+
+When the four Lambleys waited on their uncle out of the parlour, they
+all perceived that the old gentleman had for the first time forgotten to
+take the red morocco box with him, and they all exchanged glances to
+this effect, being used to each other's signs. After they had gone
+through the tedious process of seeing him to bed, and carefully folding
+up his numerous garments, they held a consultation in their own room;
+and, accustomed to acting in concert, they concluded that as soon as the
+house was quiet, they would all go down stairs together and bring up the
+red box. Fortunately for them, they knew Mr. Culpepper to be a sound
+sleeper (notwithstanding his constant assertions to the contrary), and
+that he always went to sleep as soon as he was in bed.
+
+When they came into the parlour, where all was now dark and silent, they
+set their candle on the table, and taking down the red box, one of them
+said, "At last we have an opportunity of satisfying ourselves."
+
+"Tis the first time," said another, "that the box has ever been out of
+the old villain's possession. How strange that he should not have missed
+it! He must have had something in his head more than usual to-night."
+
+"He even forgot to take his lozenges before he went to bed," said the
+third.
+
+"James," said the fourth, "did you slip the little key out of his under
+waistcoat pocket, as I signed to you to do while you were folding it
+up?"
+
+"To be sure I did," replied James, "here it is," (dangling it by the red
+ribbon that was tied to it). "But do _you_ open the box, George, for I
+am afraid."
+
+"Give me the key, then," said George, "for we have no time to lose."
+
+"What a lucky chance!" said Richard Lambley.
+
+"Now," said William, "we shall learn what we have been longing to
+discover for the last five years."
+
+The key was turned, and the box opened. A folded parchment lay within
+it, tied round with red tape. Each of the brothers simultaneously put
+out a hand to grasp it.
+
+"One at a time," said the elder, taking it out and opening it; "just as
+we suspected. It is the old fellow's will, regularly drawn up, signed
+and witnessed."
+
+They looked over each other's shoulders in intense anxiety, while the
+eldest of the brothers, in a low voice, ran over the contents of the
+parchment. There was a unanimous exclamation of surprise that amounted
+almost to horror, when, after the usual preamble, they came to some
+explicit words by which the testator devoted the whole of his property
+to the endowment of a hospital for idiots. They had proceeded thus far,
+when they were startled by the entrance of Oliver, who saw in a moment
+in what manner they were all engaged. They hastily folded up the will,
+and replaced it in the box, of which they directly turned the key,
+looking very much disconcerted.
+
+"I was coming," said Oliver, setting down his lantern, "to get that box
+and take it to you, that you might keep it safe for your uncle till
+morning. I have been detained at the stable longer than I expected,
+doing something for a lame horse."
+
+There was a whispering among the Lambleys.
+
+"Very well," said one of them to Oliver, "the box can stand on the
+mantel-piece till morning, and then when my uncle comes down he can get
+it for himself. He must not be disturbed with it to-night; and no doubt
+it will be safe enough here."
+
+The truth was, they were all justly impressed with the persuasion, that
+if Mr. Culpepper knew the box to have been all night in their room, he
+would believe, as a thing of course, that they had opened it by some
+means, and examined its contents. Servility and integrity rarely go
+together.
+
+They whispered again, and each advanced towards Oliver, holding out a
+dollar.
+
+"What is this for?" said Oliver, drawing back.
+
+"We do not wish you," said one of the Lambleys, "to mention to any one
+that you found us examining this box."
+
+"Why should I mention it?" replied Oliver; "do you suppose I tell
+everything I see and hear? But what is that money for?"
+
+"For you," said the Lambleys.
+
+"What am I to do for it?"
+
+"Keep our secret."
+
+Oliver started back, coloured to his temples, contracted his brows, and
+clenching his hands, said, "I think I could beat you all four. I am sure
+of it. I could knock every one of you down, and keep you there, one
+after another. And I will; too, if you don't put up that money this
+instant."
+
+The Lambleys quickly returned the dollars to their pockets, murmuring an
+apology; and Oliver paced the room in great agitation, saying, "I'll go
+west. I'll go to the backest of the back woods; nobody there will
+affront me with money."
+
+The Lambleys hastily replaced the red box on the mantel-piece, and
+taking an opportunity when Oliver, as he walked up and down, was at the
+far end of the room, with his back to them, they all stole past him, and
+glided up stairs, to talk over the discovery of the night.
+
+Having no longer the same motive for submitting to the iron rule of
+their uncle, they were eager to be emancipated from his tyranny, and
+they spent several hours in canvassing the manner in which this was to
+be effected. They had not candour enough to acknowledge that they had
+inspected the will, nor courage enough to break out into open rebellion;
+still, knowing what they now did, they feared that it would be
+impossible for them to persevere in their usual assiduities to Mr.
+Culpepper, for whom they could find no term that seemed sufficiently
+opprobrious.
+
+Habit is second nature. The morning found them, as usual, in their
+uncle's room to assist at his toilet, with all their accustomed
+submission. The one that had purloined the key of the red box, took care
+to contrive an opportunity of slipping it unperceived into the pocket,
+as he unfolded and handed Mr. Culpepper his under waistcoat.
+
+After he was shaved and dressed, and ready to go down stairs, the old
+gentleman suddenly missed the red box, and exclaimed, "Why, where is my
+box? What has gone with it? Who has taken it?"
+
+The nephews had all turned their faces to the windows, and were
+steadfastly engaged in observing the pigeons that were walking about the
+roof of the porch.
+
+"Where's my red box, I say?" vociferated the old man. "Go and see if I
+left it down stairs last night. A thing impossible, though.
+No--stay--I'll not trust one of you. I'll go down myself."
+
+He then actually _ran_ down stairs, and on entering the parlour where
+the breakfast table was already set, and the family all assembled, he
+espied the red box standing quietly on the mantel-piece.
+
+"Ah!" he ejaculated, "there it is. I feared I had lost it." And he felt
+in his waistcoat pocket to ascertain if the key was safe.
+
+To Mrs. Brigham's inquiry, of "how he had rested," Mr. Culpepper replied
+in a melancholy tone, that he had not slept a wink the whole night. On
+her asking if anything had disturbed him, he replied, "Nothing whatever;
+nothing but the usual restlessness of ill health." And he seemed almost
+offended, when she suggested the possibility of being asleep without
+knowing it.
+
+Though he assured the family, when he sat down, that he had not the
+slightest appetite, the bowl of sago which had been prepared by his
+orders was soon pushed aside, and his breakfast became the counterpart
+of his supper the night before.
+
+In taking their seats, the Lambleys, instead of their customary amicable
+contention, as to which of them should sit next their uncle, now, in the
+awkwardness of their embarrassment, all got to the other side of the
+table, and ranged themselves opposite to him in a row. Mr. Culpepper
+looked surprised, and invited Fanny and Oliver to place themselves
+beside him.
+
+The four young men were very irregular and inconsistent in their
+behaviour. As often as their uncle signified any of his numerous wants,
+their habitual sycophancy caused them to start forward to wait on him;
+but their recent disappointment with regard to the disposal of his
+wealth, and their secret consciousness of the illicit means they had
+made use of to discover the tenor of his will, rendered them unable to
+watch his countenance, and anticipate his demands by keeping their eyes
+on his face as heretofore.
+
+Their uncle saw that they were all in a strange way, and that something
+unusual was possessing them, and frequently in the midst of his talk
+with Colonel Brigham, he stopped to look at them and wonder. Something
+having reminded him of a certain ridiculous anecdote, he related it to
+the great amusement of the Brighams, who heard it for the first time.
+Mr. Culpepper, on looking over at his nephews, perceived that instead of
+laughing in concert (as they always did at this his favourite joke),
+they all appeared _distrait_, and as if they had not paid the slightest
+attention to it. He bent forward across the table, and fixing his keen
+eyes upon them, said, with a scrutinizing look, and in an under tone,
+"you have been reading my will."
+
+The poor Lambleys all laid down their knives and forks, turned pale, and
+nearly fell back in their chairs.
+
+"Don't expose yourselves farther," whispered Culpepper, leaning across
+to them, "I know you all;" and then turning to Colonel Brigham, he with
+much _sang froid_ pursued the conversation.
+
+Oliver (who alone of the family understood what was passing) began to
+feel much compassion for the poor young men. The scene became very
+painful to him, and finding that his aversion to the uncle was
+increasing almost beyond concealment, he hastily finished his coffee,
+and quitted the room.
+
+When breakfast was over, and they were all leaving the table, old
+Culpepper said aside to his nephews: "In founding a hospital for idiots,
+I still give you an opportunity of benefiting by my bounty."
+
+They reddened, and were about to quit the parlour, when their uncle,
+taking a chair himself, said to them: "Sit down, all of you." They
+mechanically obeyed, looking as if they were about to receive sentence
+of death. Fanny began to feel frightened, and glided out of the room;
+her mother having just followed the departure of the breakfast things.
+Colonel Brigham rose also to go, when Mr. Culpepper stopped him, saying:
+"Remain, my good friend. Stay and hear my explanation of some things
+that must have excited your curiosity."
+
+He then took down the red box. The nephews looked at each other, and a
+sort of whisper ran along the line, which ended in their all jumping up
+together, and bolting out at the door.
+
+Mr. Culpepper gazed after them awhile, and then turned towards Colonel
+Brigham, with a sardonic laugh on his face. "Well, well," said he, "they
+are right. It is refreshing to see them for once acting naturally. It
+was, perhaps, expecting too much, even of them, to suppose they would
+sit still and listen to all I was likely to say, for they know me well.
+Yet, if they had not read my will, they would not have dared to quit the
+room when I ordered them to remain."
+
+He then proceeded to relate that he was a native of Quebec, where, in
+early life, he had long been engaged in a very profitable commercial
+business, and had been left a widower at the age of forty. A few years
+afterwards, he married again. His second wife was a lady of large
+fortune, which she made over to him, on condition that he should take
+her family name of Culpepper. The Mr. Lambleys were the nephews of his
+wife, being the children of her younger sister. On the death of their
+parents, he was induced by her to give them a home in his house.
+
+The four Lambleys had very little property of their own, their father
+having dissipated nearly all that he had acquired by his marriage. They
+had been educated for professions, in which it was soon found that they
+had neither the ability nor the perseverance to succeed; their whole
+souls seeming concentrated to one point, that of gaining the favour of
+their uncle (who lost his second wife a few years after their marriage),
+and with this object they vied with each other in a course of
+unremitting and untiring servilities, foolishly supposing it the only
+way to accomplish their aim of eventually becoming his heirs.
+
+All that they gained beyond the payment of their current expenses, was
+Mr. Culpepper's unqualified contempt. He made a secret resolution to
+revenge himself on their duplicity, and to disappoint their mercenary
+views by playing them a trick at the last, and he had a will drawn up,
+in which he devised his whole property to the establishment of a
+hospital. This will he always carried about with him in the red morocco
+box.
+
+He had come to the United States on a tour for the benefit of his
+health, and also to satisfy himself as to the truth of all he had heard
+respecting the unparalleled improvement of the country since it had
+thrown off the yoke which his fellow-subjects of Canada were still
+satisfied to wear.
+
+"And now," continued Mr. Culpepper to his landlord, "you have not seen
+all that is in the red box. I know not by what presentiment I am
+impelled; but, short as our acquaintance has been, I cannot resist an
+unaccountable inclination to speak more openly of my private affairs to
+you, Colonel Brigham, than to any person I have ever met with. I feel
+persuaded that I shall find no cause to regret having done so. It is a
+long time since I have had any one near me to whom I could talk
+confidentially." And he added, with a sigh: "I fear that I may say with
+Shakspeare's Richard, 'there is no creature loves me.'"
+
+Mr. Culpepper then opened the red box, and took out from beneath the
+will and several other documents that lay under it, a folded paper,
+which he held in his hand for some moments in silence. He then gave it
+to Colonel Brigham, saying, "Do you open it; I cannot. It is more than
+twenty years since I have seen it."
+
+The Colonel unfolded the paper. It contained a small miniature of a
+beautiful young lady, in a rich but old-fashioned dress of blue satin,
+with lace cuffs and stomacher, her hair being drest very high, and
+ornamented with a string of pearls, arranged in festoons. Colonel
+Brigham looked at the miniature, and exclaimed in a voice of
+astonishment: "This is the likeness of Oliver's mother!"
+
+"Oliver's mother!" ejaculated Mr. Culpepper, in equal amazement;
+"Oliver--what, the young man that lives with you--that you call your
+adopted son? This is the miniature of my daughter, Elizabeth Osborne."
+
+"Then," replied the Colonel, "your daughter was Oliver's mother."
+
+"Where is she?" exclaimed Culpepper, wildly. "Is she alive, after
+all?--When I heard of her death I believed it.--Do you know where she
+is?"
+
+"She is dead," said Colonel Brigham, passing his hand over his eyes.--"I
+saw her die;--I was at her funeral.--I can bring you proof enough that
+this is the likeness of Oliver's mother.--Shall I tell my wife of this
+discovery?"
+
+"You may tell it to your whole family," answered Mr. Culpepper, throwing
+himself back in his chair.--"You are all concerned in it.--Why, indeed,
+should it be a secret?"
+
+Colonel Brigham left the room, and shortly after returned, conducting
+his wife, who was much flurried, and carried an enormously large
+pocket-book, worked in queen-stitch with coloured crewels. She was
+followed by Fanny, looking very pale, and bringing with her some sewing,
+by way of "having something in her hands." They found Mr. Culpepper with
+his face covered, and evidently in great agitation.
+
+"See," said Mrs. Brigham, sitting down before him, and untying the red
+worsted strings of the pocket-book, "here's the very fellow to that
+likeness." She then took out an exact copy of the miniature. There were
+also some letters that had passed between the father and mother of
+Oliver, previous to their marriage.
+
+"I keep these things in my best pocket-book," continued Mrs. Brigham;
+"husband gave them into my keeping, and when Oliver is twenty-one (which
+will not be till next spring), they are all to go to him."
+
+Mr. Culpepper gazed awhile at the miniature, and then turned over the
+letters with a trembling hand. "I see," said he, "that there is no flaw
+in the evidence. This is, indeed, a copy of my daughter's miniature.
+These letters I have no desire to read, for, of course, they refer to
+the plot that was in train for deceiving me. And they thought they had
+well succeeded. But their punishment soon came, in a life of privation
+and suffering, and in an early death to both. May such be the end of all
+stolen marriages!--Still, she was my daughter; my only child.--So much
+the worse; she should not have left me for a stranger."
+
+It was painful and revolting to the kind-hearted Brighams to witness the
+conflict between the vindictive spirit of this unamiable old man, and
+the tardy rekindling of his parental feelings. In a few moments he made
+an effort to speak with connexion and composure, and related the
+following particulars. After the unsuccessful attack on Quebec, by the
+gallant and ill-fated Montgomery, a young American officer, who had been
+severely wounded in the conflict, was brought into the city, and
+received the most kind and careful attendance from the family of a
+gentleman who had once been intimately acquainted with his father. The
+family who thus extended their hospitality to a suffering enemy, were
+the next-door neighbours of Mr. Culpepper, whose name was then Osborne.
+Captain Dalzel was a handsome and accomplished young man, and his case
+excited much interest among the ladies of Quebec, and in none more than
+in Miss Osborne, who, from her intimacy in the house at which he was
+staying, had frequent opportunities of seeing him during his long
+convalescence. A mutual attachment was the consequence, and it was kept
+a profound secret from her father, who had in view for her a marriage
+with a Canadian gentleman of wealth and consequence.
+
+When Captain Dalzel was about to return home on being exchanged, he
+prevailed on Miss Osborne to consent to a secret marriage. Mr. Culpepper
+acknowledged that on discovering it he literally turned his daughter out
+of doors, and sent back unopened a letter which she wrote to him from
+Montreal. From that time he never suffered her name to be mentioned in
+his presence; and he was almost tempted to consign to the flames a
+miniature of her, that had been painted for him by an English artist,
+then resident in Quebec. But a revulsion of feeling so far prevailed, as
+to prevent him from thus destroying the resemblance of his only child;
+and he put away the miniature with a firm resolution never to look at it
+again. Five years afterwards he heard accidentally of Captain Dalzel's
+having fallen in battle, and that Elizabeth had survived him but a few
+days.
+
+"And how did you feel when you heard this?" asked Colonel Brigham.
+
+"Feel," replied Culpepper, fiercely; "I felt that she deserved her fate,
+for having deceived her father, and taken a rebel for her husband, and
+an enemy's country for her dwelling-place."
+
+Fanny shuddered at the bitter and implacable tone in which these words
+were uttered, and the Brighams were convinced that, with such a parent,
+Miss Osborne's home could at no time have been a happy one.
+
+"But," continued old Culpepper, after a pause, "I will confess, that
+since I have been in your country, I have felt some 'compunctious
+visitings;' and I had determined not to leave the States without making
+some inquiry as to my daughter having left children."
+
+"She had only Oliver," replied Colonel Brigham.
+
+"The boy's features have no resemblance to those of his mother," said
+Culpepper; "still there is something in his look that at once
+prepossessed me in his favour. But tell me all that you know about his
+parents?"
+
+The colonel's narrative implied, that he had been well acquainted with
+Captain Dalzel, who was of the Virginia line, and who was mortally
+wounded at Yorktown, where he died two days after the surrender;
+consigning to the care of Colonel Brigham a miniature of his wife, which
+he said was procured before his marriage from an artist whom he had
+induced to copy privately one that he was painting for the young lady's
+father.
+
+The war being now considered as ended by the capture of Cornwallis and
+his army, Colonel Brigham repaired to Philadelphia, where her husband
+had informed him that Mrs. Dalzel was living in retired lodgings. He
+found that the melancholy news of Captain Dalzel's fate had already
+reached her; and it had caused the rupture of a blood-vessel, which was
+hurrying her immediately to the grave. She was unable to speak, but she
+pointed to her child (then about four years old), who was sobbing at her
+pillow. The colonel, deeply moved, assured her that he would carry the
+boy home with him to his wife, and that while either of them lived, he
+should never want a parent. A gleam of joy lighted up the languid eyes
+of Mrs. Dalzel, and they closed to open in this world no more.
+
+The anguish evinced by Mr. Culpepper at this part of the narrative, was
+such as to draw tears from Mrs. Brigham and Fanny. The colonel dwelt no
+further on the death of Mrs. Dalzel, but concluded his story in as few
+words as possible, saying that he carried the child home with him; that
+his wife received him gladly; and that not one of the relations of
+Captain Dalzel (and he had none that were of near affinity) ever came
+forward to dispute with him the charge of the boy. Captain Dalzel, he
+knew, had possessed no other fortune than his commission.
+
+When Colonel Brigham had finished his tale,----
+
+"Well," said Mr. Culpepper, making a strong effort to recover his
+composure, "perhaps I treated my daughter too severely, in continuing to
+cherish so deep a resentment against her. But why did she provoke me to
+it? However, the past can never be recalled. I must endeavour to make
+her son behave better to me. Where is Oliver? Let me see him
+immediately."
+
+He had scarcely spoken when Oliver entered the porch, accompanied by the
+four Lambleys, whom he had met strolling about lonely and uncomfortable,
+and he kindly offered to show them round the farm, not knowing what
+better he could do for them. They had just completed their tour; and
+though it was a beautiful farm, and in fine order, the Lambleys had
+walked over it without observing anything, being all the time engaged in
+inveighing bitterly to Oliver against their uncle. Oliver regarded them
+as so many Sinbads ridden by the Old Man of the Sea, and advised them to
+throw him off forthwith.
+
+"Come in, Oliver," said Colonel Brigham; "you are wanted here."
+
+Oliver entered the parlour, and the Lambleys remained in the porch and
+looked in at the windows, curious to know what was going on.
+
+"Come in, all of you," said Mr. Culpepper.
+
+They mechanically obeyed his summons, and entered the parlour.
+
+Mr. Culpepper then took Oliver by the hand, and said to him in a voice
+tremulous with emotion, "Young man, in me you behold your grandfather."
+
+Oliver changed colour, and started back, and Mr. Culpepper was deeply
+chagrined to see that this announcement gave him anything but pleasure.
+The story was briefly explained to him, and Mr. Culpepper added, "From
+this moment you may consider yourself as belonging to me. I like
+you--and I will leave my money to you rather than to found a hospital."
+
+"You had better leave it to these poor fellows, that have been trying
+for it so long," said Oliver, bluntly.
+
+The nephews all regarded him with amazement.
+
+"Hear me, Oliver," said Mr. Culpepper; "It is not merely because you are
+my grandson, and as such my legal heir--unless I choose to dispose of my
+property otherwise--but I took a fancy to you the moment I saw you, when
+I could not know that you were of my own blood. As to those fellows, I
+have had enough of them, and no doubt they have had enough of me. I have
+towed them about with me already too long. It is time I should cut the
+rope, and turn them adrift. No doubt they will do better when left to
+shift for themselves."
+
+The Lambleys exhibited visible signs of consternation.
+
+"Oliver," continued Mr. Culpepper, "prepare to accompany me to Canada.
+There you shall live with me as my acknowledged heir, taking the name of
+Culpepper, and no longer feeling yourself a destitute orphan."
+
+"I never have felt myself a destitute orphan," said Oliver, looking
+gratefully at Colonel and Mrs. Brigham, both of whom looked as if they
+could clasp him in their arms.
+
+"I promise you every reasonable enjoyment that wealth can bestow,"
+pursued Mr. Culpepper.
+
+"I have all sorts of reasonable enjoyments already," answered Oliver. "A
+fine farm to take care of; a capital gun; four excellent dogs; and such
+horses as are not to be found within fifty miles; fine fishing in the
+Susquehanna; plenty of newspapers to read, and some books too; frolics
+to go to, all through the neighbourhood; and now and then a visit to the
+city, where I take care to see all the shows."
+
+"Nonsense," said Mr. Culpepper; "what is all this compared to an
+introduction to the best society of Quebec?"
+
+"And what better than all this is done by the best society of Quebec?"
+inquired Oliver.
+
+Mr. Culpepper did not answer this question; but continued: "There is
+another consideration of still more consequence: As my grandson and
+heir, I can insure you an opportunity of marrying a lady of family and
+fortune."
+
+"I would rather marry Fanny," said Oliver.
+
+At this spontaneous and unequivocal announcement, Colonel and Mrs.
+Brigham each caught one of Oliver's hands, unable to conceal their joy.
+A flush passed over Fanny's face, and she half rose up, and then sat
+down again. At last she said, with sparkling eyes, and a curl of her
+lip, "How do you know that Fanny will have you?" And she pursued her
+work with such eagerness, that she forgot to replenish her needle, and
+went on sewing without a thread.
+
+There was a silence a few moments, and then Mr. Culpepper proceeded: "In
+short, Oliver, you must go with me to Canada, and settle there for
+life."
+
+"First listen to me," said Oliver, "for I am going to make a speech, and
+I intend to abide by it.--As to your being my grandfather, that is a
+thing I cannot help. You must not expect me to be taken with a sudden
+affection for you, and to feel dutiful all at once, when I never saw you
+in my life till yesterday. Maybe it might come after awhile; but that is
+quite a matter of doubt, as I fear we should never suit each other at
+all. Neither will I ever consent to go and live in Canada, and be under
+the rule of a king. My father died in trying to get free from one. I
+like my own country, and I like the way of living I am used to; and I
+like the good friends that have brought me up. And if Fanny won't have
+me, I dare say I can find somebody that will."
+
+The Brighams looked reproachfully at their daughter, who held down her
+head and gave her sewing such a flirt, that it fell from her hand on the
+floor and the Lambleys picked it up.
+
+"Another thing," proceeded Oliver to Mr. Culpepper, "this is your will,
+is it not?" (putting his hand on it as it lay beside the red box). "Now
+tell me if there are any legacies in it?"
+
+"Not one;" replied Mr. Culpepper, "the whole is left to endow a hospital
+for idiots. I knew nobody that deserved a legacy."
+
+"So much the worse," said Oliver, "it looks as if you had no friends.
+You had better make another will."
+
+"I intend to do so," replied Culpepper.
+
+"Then," said Oliver, "this is of no use; and the sooner there is an end
+of it the better;"--and he threw it into the fire, where it was
+instantly consumed.
+
+The Lambleys were so frightened at this outrageous act (for so it
+appeared to them), that they all tried to get out of the room. Mrs.
+Brigham spread her hands with a sort of scream; her husband could not
+help laughing; Fanny again dropped her work, and nobody picked it up.
+Mr. Culpepper frowned awfully; but he was the first to speak, and said,
+"Young man, how have you dared to do this?"
+
+"I can dare twice as much," replied Oliver;--"I have shot a bear face to
+face. One hard winter there were several found in the woods not ten
+miles off. Suppose, Mr. Culpepper, you were to die suddenly (as you
+possibly may in a fit or something), before you get your new will made!
+This would then be considered the right one, and your money after all
+would go to that idiot hospital."
+
+"You are the most original youth I have ever met with," said Culpepper;
+"I know not how it is; but the more you oppose me, the better I like
+you."
+
+The nephews looked astonished.
+
+"Still," observed Oliver, "it would never do for us to live together.
+For myself, I neither like opposing nor submitting; never having been
+used to either."
+
+"It is not possible," said Culpepper, "that you mean seriously to refuse
+my offer of protection and fortune?"
+
+"As to protection," replied Oliver; "I can protect myself. And as to
+fortune, I dare say I can make one for myself. And as to that other
+thing, the wife, I shall try to get one of my own sort--Fanny, or
+somebody else. And as to the name of Culpepper, I'll never take it."
+
+"And will you really not go with me to Canada?"
+
+"No! positively I will not. I believe, though, I ought to thank you for
+your offers, which I now do. No doubt they were well meant. But here I
+intend to stay, with the excellent people that took me when nobody else
+would, and that have brought me up as their own child. I know how sorry
+they would be were I to leave them, and yet they have had the
+forbearance not to say one word to persuade me to stay. So it is my firm
+determination to live and die with them."
+
+He then shook hands with each of the old Brighams, who were deeply
+affected, and threw their arms round him. Fanny, completely overcome,
+entirely off her guard, flew to Oliver, hid her face on his shoulder,
+and burst into tears. He kissed her cheek, saying, "Now, Fanny, I hope
+we understand each other;"--and Colonel Brigham put his daughter's hand
+into Oliver's.
+
+"So then," said Mr. Culpepper, "I have found a grandson but to lose him.
+Well, I deserve it."
+
+The nephews looked as if they thought so too.
+
+"What shall I do now?" continued the old man dolorously.
+
+"Take your nephews into favour again," said Oliver.
+
+"They never were in favour," replied the uncle.
+
+"At all events treat them like men."
+
+"It is their own fault. Why do they not behave as such?"
+
+The old gentleman walked about in much perturbation. At last he said to
+the Lambleys, "Young men, as you took a most nefarious method of
+discovering my intentions towards you, and as I never had a doubt
+respecting the real motive of all your obsequiousness to me, there is no
+use in attempting any farther disguise on either side. When masks are
+only of gauze, it is not worth while to wear them. Try then if you can
+be natural for a little while, till I see what can be done with you. You
+will find it best in the end. And now, I think, we will go away as soon
+as possible. The longer I stay here, the more difficult I shall find it
+to leave Oliver."
+
+To be brief.--Mr. Culpepper and his nephews departed in about an hour,
+in a vehicle belonging to the General Wayne, and which was to carry them
+to the nearest village from whence they could proceed to New York.
+
+At parting, Mr. Culpepper held out his hand and said, "Oliver, for once
+call me grandfather."
+
+Oliver pressed his hand, and said, "Grandfather, we part friends." The
+old gentleman held his handkerchief to his eyes, as he turned from the
+door, and his nephews looked nohow.
+
+In about a month, Oliver received a parcel from Mr. Culpepper,
+containing the little red morocco box, in which was a letter and some
+papers. The letter was dated from New York. The old gentleman informed
+his grandson, that he had been so fortunate as to engage the affections
+and obtain the hand of a very beautiful young lady of that city (the
+youngest of eight sisters, and just entering her seventeenth year), who
+had convinced him, that she married only from the sincerest love.
+Finding no farther occasion for his nephews, he had established them
+all in business in New York, where no doubt they would do better than in
+Canada. He sent Oliver certificates for bank stock to a considerable
+amount, and requested him, whenever he wanted more money for the
+enlargement or improvement of the farm, to apply to him without scruple.
+
+This letter arrived on the day of Oliver's marriage with Fanny; on which
+day the sign of the General Wayne was taken down, and the tavern became
+once more a farm-house only; Mrs. Brigham having been much troubled by
+the interruptions she sustained from customers, during her immense
+preparations for the wedding, and determining that on the great occasion
+itself, she would not be "put out" by the arrival of any guest, except
+those that were invited.
+
+Colonel Brigham, never having approved of the sign, was not sorry to see
+it removed; and Mrs. Brigham, thinking it a pity to have it wasted, made
+it do duty in the largest bedchamber as a chimney-board.
+
+In a few years the Colonel found sufficient employment for most of his
+time in playing with Fanny's children, and such was his "green old age,"
+that when upwards of seventy, he was still able to take the
+superintendence of the farm, while Oliver was absent at the seat of the
+state government, making energetic speeches in the capacity of an
+assembly-man.
+
+
+
+
+THE OFFICERS:
+
+A STORY OF THE LAST WAR WITH ENGLAND.
+
+    ----"All furnished, all in arms,
+    All plumed like estridges."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Sophia Clements had just arrived in Philadelphia on a visit to her
+sister, Mrs. Darnel, the widow of a merchant who had left his family in
+very affluent circumstances. The children were a son now settled in
+business at Canton, two very pretty daughters who had recently quitted
+school, and a boy just entering his twelfth year.
+
+Miss Clements, who (being the child of a second marriage) was twenty
+years younger than Mrs. Darnel, had resided since the death of her
+parents with an unmarried brother in New York, where her beauty and her
+mental accomplishments had gained her many admirers, none of whom,
+however, had been able to make any impression on her heart.
+
+Sophia Clements was but few years older than her gay and giddy nieces,
+who kindly offered to pass her off as their cousin, declaring that she
+was quite too young to be called aunt. But secure in the consciousness
+of real youth, she preferred being addressed by the title that properly
+belonged to her.
+
+This visit of Sophia Clements was in the last year of the second contest
+between England and America; and she found the heads of her two nieces
+filled chiefly with the war, and particularly with the officers. They
+had an infinity to tell her of "the stirring times" that had prevailed
+in Philadelphia, and were still prevailing. And she found it difficult
+to convince them that there was quite as much drumming and fifing in
+New York, and rather more danger; as that city, from its vicinity to the
+ocean, was much easier of access to the enemy.
+
+The boy Robert was, of course, not behind his sisters in enthusiasm for
+the "pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious war," and they were
+indebted to him for much soldier-news that they would not otherwise have
+had the felicity of knowing--his time, between school hours, being
+chiefly spent in collecting it.
+
+On the morning after Miss Clements's arrival, she and her nieces were
+sitting at their muslin work,--an occupation at that time very customary
+with the ladies, as no foreign articles of cotton embroidery were then
+to be purchased. There was much military talk, and frequent running to
+the window by the two girls, to look out at a passing recruiting party
+with their drum, and fife, and colours, and to admire the gallant
+bearing of the sergeant that walked in front with his drawn sword; for
+recruiting sergeants always have
+
+    "A swashing and a martial outside."
+
+"Certainly," said Harriet Darnel, "it is right and proper to wish for
+peace; but still, to say the truth, war-time is a very amusing time.
+Everything will seem so flat when it is over."
+
+"I fear, indeed," replied Miss Clements, smiling, "that you will find
+some difficulty in returning to the 'dull pursuits of civil life.'"
+
+"Aunt Sophy," said Caroline, "I wish you had been here in the summer,
+when we were all digging at the fortifications that were thrown up in
+the neighbourhood of the city, to defend it in case of an attack by
+land. Each citizen gave a day's work, and worked with his own hands.
+They went in bodies, according to their trades and professions, marching
+out at early dawn with their digging implements. They were always
+preceded by a band of music, playing Hail Columbia or Washington's
+March, and they returned at dusk in the same manner. We regularly took
+care to see them whenever they passed by."
+
+"The first morning," said Harriet, "they came along so very early that
+none of us were up till the sound of the music wakened us; and being in
+our night-clothes, we could only peep at them through the half-closed
+shutters; but afterwards, we took care to be always up and dressed in
+time, so that we could throw open the windows and lean out, and gaze
+after them till they were out of sight. You cannot think how affecting
+it was. Our eyes were often filled with tears as we looked at them--even
+though they were not soldiers, but merely our own people, and had no
+uniform."
+
+"All instances of patriotism, or of self-devotion for the general good,
+are undoubtedly affecting," observed Sophia.
+
+"Every trade went in its turn," pursued Harriet, "and every man of every
+trade, masters and journeymen--none stayed behind. One day we saw the
+butchers go, another day the bakers; also the carpenters and
+bricklayers, then the shoemakers and the tailors, the curriers and the
+saddlers, and the blacksmiths. Often two or three trades went together.
+There were the type-founders, and the printers, and the book-binders.
+The merchants also assisted, and the lawyers, and the clergymen of every
+denomination. Most of the Irishmen went twice--first, according to their
+respective trades, and again as Irishmen only, when they marched out
+playing 'St. Patrick's Day in the Morning.' The negroes had their day,
+also; and we heard them laughing and talking long before we saw them.
+Only imagine the giggling and chattering of several hundred negroes!"
+
+"Mr. and Mrs. Linley took us out in their carriage to see the
+fortifications," resumed Caroline. "It was the lawyers' day; and there
+were some of the principal gentlemen of the city, in straw hats and
+round jackets, and some in their waistcoats only, with their
+shirt-sleeves rolled up, digging with pickaxes and spades, and wheeling
+barrows full of sods. It was delightful to look at them."
+
+"There's a drum and fife again!" exclaimed Harriet. "See, see, Aunt
+Sophy, do look out; here's another recruiting party--and they have
+picked up four men, who have actually joined them in the street. How
+glad I am!"
+
+"Do come and look, aunt," said Caroline; "it is not the same party that
+passed a little while ago. I know it by the sergeant, who has darker
+hair and eyes than the other. This is Lieutenant Bunting's recruiting
+party. He has handbills on all the corners, headed: 'List, list--oh,
+list!'"
+
+"Aunt Sophy," said Harriet, as they resumed their seats, "you cannot
+imagine what a lively summer we have had!"
+
+"I can easily imagine," replied Sophia, "that you almost lived out of
+the window."
+
+"How could we do otherwise," answered Harriet, "when there was so much
+to look at, particularly during the alarm? Alarms are certainly very
+exciting."
+
+"Undoubtedly," observed Sophia; "but what was the alarm?"
+
+"Oh! there has been one long alarm all summer; and it is still going on,
+or our volunteers would not stay so long at Camp Dupont. But there, it
+seems, they may have to remain till winter drives the British away from
+the Capes."
+
+"I conclude," said Miss Clements, "the alarm _par excellence_ was when
+the enemy sailed up the Chesapeake to attack Baltimore, and there was an
+apprehension of their crossing over to Philadelphia."
+
+"The very time," answered Harriet. "We had a troop of horse
+reconnoitering on the Chesapeake. Their camp was at Mount Bull, near
+Elkton. They were all gentlemen, and they acted in turn as videttes. One
+of them arrived here every evening with despatches for General
+Bloomfield concerning the movements of the enemy--and they still come.
+You know last evening, soon after your arrival, one of the times that I
+ran to the window was to see the vidette[73] galloping along the street,
+looking so superbly in his light-horseman's uniform, with his pistols in
+his holsters, and his horse's feet striking fire from the stones."
+
+[Footnote 73: _Estafette_, we believe, is the proper term, but the
+military couriers of that period were always called _videttes_ by the
+citizens.]
+
+"Once," said Caroline, "we heard a galloping in the middle of the night,
+and therefore we all got up and looked out. In a few minutes the streets
+were full of men who had risen and dressed themselves, and gone out to
+get the news. I was sorry that, being women, we could not do the same.
+But we sent Bob--you don't know how useful we find Bob. He is versed in
+all sorts of soldiers and officers, and every kind of uniform, and the
+right way of wearing it. He taught us to distinguish a captain from a
+lieutenant, and an infantry from an artillery officer,--silver for
+infantry, and gold for artillery,--and then there is the staff uniform
+besides, and the dragoons, and the rifle officers, and the engineers. Of
+course, I mean the regular army. As to volunteers and militia, we knew
+them long ago."
+
+"But you are forgetting the vidette that galloped through the street at
+midnight," said Sophia.
+
+"True, aunt; but when one has so much to tell, it is difficult to avoid
+digressions. Well, then--this vidette brought news of the attack on
+Baltimore; and, by daylight, there was as much confusion and hustle in
+the town, as if we had expected the enemy before breakfast."
+
+"We saw all the volunteers march off," said Harriet, taking up the
+narrative. "They started immediately to intercept the British on their
+way to Philadelphia,--for we were sure they would make an attempt to
+come. We had seen from our windows, these volunteers drilling for weeks
+before, in the State House Yard. It is delightful to have a house in
+such a situation. My favourite company was the Washington Guards, but
+Caroline preferred the State Fencibles. I liked the close round jackets
+of the Guards, and their black belts, and their tall black feathers
+tipped with red. There was something novel and out of the common way in
+their uniform."
+
+"No matter," said Caroline, "the dress of the State Fencibles was far
+more manly and becoming. They wore coatees, and white belts, and little
+white pompons tipped with red; pompons stand the wind and weather much
+better than tall feathers. And then the State Fencibles were all such
+genteel, respectable men."
+
+"So were the Washington Guards," retorted Harriet, "and younger
+besides."
+
+"No, no," replied Caroline, "it was their short, boyish-looking jackets
+that gave them that appearance."
+
+"Well, well," resumed Harriet, "I must say that all the volunteer
+companies looked their very best the day they marched off in full
+expectation of a battle. I liked them every one. Even the blankets that
+were folded under their knapsacks were becoming to them. We saw some of
+the most fashionable gentlemen of the city shoulder their muskets and go
+off as guards to the baggage-wagons, laughing as if they considered it
+an excellent joke."
+
+"To think," said Caroline, "of the hardships they have to suffer in
+camp! After the worst of the alarm had subsided, many of the volunteers
+obtained leave of absence for a day or two, and came up to the city to
+visit their families, and attend a little to business. We always knew
+them in a moment by their sunburnt faces. They told all about it, and
+certainly their sufferings have been dreadful, for gentlemen. Standing
+guard at night, and in all weather,--sleeping in tents, without any
+bedsteads, and with no seats but their trunks,--cooking their own
+dinners, and washing their own dishes,--and, above all, having to eat
+their own awful cooking!"
+
+"But you forget the country volunteers," said Harriet, "that came
+pouring in from all parts of Pennsylvania. We saw them every one as they
+passed through the city on their way down to Camp Dupont. And really we
+liked _them_ also. Most of the country companies wore rifle-dresses of
+coloured cotton, trimmed with fringe; for instance, some had blue with
+red fringe, others green with yellow fringe; some brown with blue
+fringe. One company was dressed entirely in yellow, spotted with black.
+They looked like great two-legged leopards. We were very desirous of
+discovering who an old gray-haired man was that rode at the head. He was
+a fine-looking old fellow, and his dress and his horse were of the same
+entire gray. I shall never forget that man."
+
+"I shall never forget anything connected with the alarm," resumed
+Caroline. "There was a notice published in all the papers, and stuck up
+at every corner, telling what was to be done in case the enemy were
+actually approaching the city. Three guns were to be fired from the Navy
+Yard as a signal for the inhabitants to prepare for immediate danger.
+You can't think how anxiously we listened for those three guns."
+
+"I can readily believe it," said Miss Clements.
+
+"We knew some families," continued Caroline, "that, in anticipation of
+the worst, went and engaged lodgings in out-of-the-way places, thirty or
+forty miles from town, that they might have retreats secured; and they
+packed up their plate and other valuable articles, for removal at a
+short notice. We begged of mamma to let us stay through everything, as
+we might never have another opportunity of being in a town that was
+taken by the enemy; and as no gentleman belonging to us was in any way
+engaged in the war, we thought the British would not molest _us_. To say
+the truth, mamma took the whole alarm very coolly, and always said she
+had no apprehensions for Philadelphia."
+
+"Maria Milden was at Washington," observed Harriet, "when the British
+burnt the President's House and the Capitol, and she told us all about
+it, for she was so fortunate as to see the whole. Nobody seems to think
+they will burn the State House, if they come to Philadelphia. But I
+do--don't you, aunt Sophia? What a grand sight it would be, and how fast
+the State-House bell would ring for its own fire!"
+
+"We can only hope that they will always be prevented from reaching the
+city at all," replied Miss Clements.
+
+"But don't I hear a trumpet?" exclaimed Caroline; and the girls were
+again at the window.
+
+"Oh! that is the troop of United States dragoons that Bob admires so
+much," cried Harriet. "They have recruited a hundred men here in the
+city. I suppose they are on their way to the lines. Look, look, aunt
+Sophy,--now, you must acknowledge this to be a fine sight."
+
+"It is," said Sophia.
+
+"Only see," continued Harriet, "how the long tresses of white horse-hair
+on their helmets are waving in the wind; and see how gallantly they hold
+their sabres; and look at the captain as he rides at their head,--only
+see his moustaches. I hope that captain will not be killed."
+
+"But I shall be sorry if he is not wounded," said Caroline. "Wounded
+officers are always so much admired. You know, Harriet, we saw one last
+winter with his arm in a sling, and a black patch on his forehead. How
+sweetly he looked!"
+
+"Nay," said Harriet, "I cannot assent to that; for he was one of the
+ugliest men I ever saw, both face and figure, and all the wounding in
+the world would not have made him handsome."
+
+"Well, interesting then,"--persisted Caroline;--"you must own that he
+looked interesting, and that's everything."
+
+"May I ask," said Miss Clements, "if you are acquainted with any
+officers?"
+
+"Oh, yes," replied Harriet, "we meet with them sometimes at houses where
+we visit. How very unlucky it is that brother Francis happens to be
+living in Canton, just at this time of all others! If he were with us,
+we could go more into company, and his friends would visit at our
+house--and of course he would know a great many officers. But mamma is
+so very particular, and so very apprehensive about us, and she cannot
+herself be persuaded to go to any public places. I wish Bob were grown
+up."
+
+"We were very desirous," said Caroline, "of being among the young ladies
+who joined in presenting a standard, last October, to a regiment of
+infantry that was raised chiefly in the city, but mamma would not permit
+us. However, we saw the ceremony from a window. The young ladies who
+gave the standard were all dressed alike in white muslin frocks and long
+white kid gloves, with their hair plain and without ornament--they
+looked sweetly. The regiment had marched into town for the purpose,--for
+they were encamped near Darby. The young ladies with the flag stood on
+the steps of a house in Chestnut street, and the officers were ranged in
+front. She that held the standard delivered a short address on the
+occasion, and the ensign who received it knelt on one knee, and replied
+very handsomely to her speech. Then the drums rolled, and the band
+struck up, and the colours waved, and the officers all saluted the
+ladies."
+
+"In what way?" asked Sophia.
+
+"Oh, with their swords. A military salute is superb--Bob showed us all
+the motions. Look now, aunt Sophia, I'll do it with the fly-brush.
+That's exactly the way."
+
+"I have always considered a military salute extremely graceful," said
+Miss Clements.
+
+"But we have still more to tell about this regiment," continued
+Caroline. "You must know we spent a most delightful day in their
+camp--actually in their camp!"
+
+"And how did you happen to arrive at that pitch of felicity?" asked
+Sophia.
+
+"Oh!" replied Caroline, "we are, most fortunately for us, acquainted
+with the family of an officer belonging to this district, and they
+invited us to join them on a visit to the camp. Our friends had made
+arrangements for having a sort of picnic dinner there, and baskets of
+cold provisions were accordingly conveyed in the carriages. The weather
+was charming, for it was the Indian summer, and everything conspired to
+be so delightful. First we saw a review: how elegantly the officers
+looked galloping along the line,--and then the manoeuvres of the
+soldiers were superb,--they seemed to move by magic. When the review was
+over, the officers were all invited to share our dinner. As they always
+went to Darby (which was close by) for their meals, they had no
+conveniences for dining in camp; and the contrivances that were resorted
+to for the accommodation of our party caused us much amusement. The
+flies of two or three tents were put together so as to make a sort of
+pavilion for us. Some boards were brought, and laid upon barrels, so as
+to form a table; and for table-cloths we had sheets supplied by the
+colonel. We sat on benches of rough boards, similar to those that formed
+the table. Plates, and knives and forks, were borrowed for us of the
+soldiers. We happened to have no salt with us,--some, therefore, was
+procured from the men's pork-barrels, and we made paper salt-cellars to
+put it in. But the effect of our table was superb, all the gentlemen
+being in full uniform--such a range of epaulets and sashes! Their
+swords and chapeaux, which they had thrown under a tree, formed such a
+picturesque heap! The music was playing for us all the time, and we were
+waited upon by orderlies--think of having your plate taken by a soldier
+in uniform! Wine-glasses being scarce among us, when a gentleman invited
+a lady to take wine with him, she drank first, and gave him her glass,
+and he drank out of it--and so many pretty things were said on the
+occasion. After dinner the colonel took us to his tent, which was
+distinguished from the others by being larger, and having a flag flying
+in front, and what they called a picket fence round it. Then we were
+conducted all through the camp, each lady leaning on the arm of an
+officer: we almost thought ourselves in Paradise. For weeks we could
+scarcely bear to speak to a citizen--Mr. Wilson and Mr. Thomson seemed
+quite sickening."
+
+"What nonsense you are talking!" said Mrs. Darnel, who, unperceived by
+her daughters, had entered the room but a few moments before, and seated
+herself on the sofa with her sewing. "When you are old enough to think
+of marrying (the two girls smiled and exchanged glances), you may
+consider yourselves very fortunate if any such respectable young men as
+the two you have mentioned so disdainfully, should deem you worthy of
+their choice."
+
+"I have no fancy for respectable young men," said Harriet, in a low
+voice.
+
+"I hope you will live to change your opinion," pursued Mrs. Darnel. "I
+cannot be all the time checking and reproving; but my consolation is
+that when the war is over, you will both come to your senses,--and while
+it lasts the officers have, fortunately, something else to think of than
+courtship and marriage; and are seldom long enough in one place to
+undertake anything more than a mere flirtation."
+
+"For my part," said Miss Clements, "nothing could induce me to marry an
+officer. Even in time of peace to have no settled home; and to be
+transferred continually from place to place, not knowing at what moment
+the order for removal may arrive; and certainly in time of war my
+anxiety for my husband's safety would be so great as entirely to destroy
+my happiness."
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Darnel, "I wish, for a thousand reasons, that this war
+was over. Setting aside all more important considerations, the
+inconvenience it causes in our domestic concerns is too incessant to be
+trifling. We are not yet prepared to live comfortably without the aid
+of foreign importations. The price of everything has risen enormously."
+
+"That is very true, mamma," observed Harriet; "only think of having to
+give two dollars a yard for slight Florence silk; such silk as before
+the war _we_ would not have worn at all--but now we are glad to get
+anything,--and two dollars a pair for cotton stockings; cambric muslin a
+dollar and a half a yard--a dollar for a paper of pins--twenty-five
+cents for a cotton ball!"
+
+"And groceries!" resumed Mrs. Darnel; "sugar a dollar a pound--lemons
+half a dollar a piece!"
+
+"I must say," said Caroline, "I am very tired of cream of tartar
+lemonade. I find it wherever I go."
+
+"Well, all this is bad enough," said Harriet; "but somehow it does not
+make us the least unhappy, and certainly we are anything but dull."
+
+"And then it is so pleasant," remarked Caroline, "every now and then to
+hear the bells ringing, and to find that it is for a victory; and it is
+so glorious to be taking ship after ship from the British. Bob says he
+envied the New Yorkers the day the frigate United States brought in the
+Macedonian."
+
+"I own," said Miss Clements, "that the excitement of that day, can never
+be forgotten by those that felt it. It had been ascertained the evening
+before that these ships were off Sandy Hook, but in the morning there
+was a heavy fog which, it was feared, would prevent their coming up to
+the city. Nevertheless, thousands of people were assembled at daylight
+on the Battery. At last a sunbeam shone out, the fog cleared off with
+almost unprecedented rapidity, and there lay the two frigates at anchor,
+side by side--the Macedonian with the American colours flying above the
+British ensign. So loud were the acclamations of the spectators, that
+they were heard half over the city, and they ceased not, till both
+vessels commenced firing a salute."
+
+The conversation was finally interrupted by the arrival of some female
+visitors, who joined Mrs. Darnel in lamenting the inconveniences of the
+times. One fearing that if the present state of things continued, she
+would soon be obliged to dress her children in domestic gingham, and the
+other producing from her reticule a pattern for a white linen glove,
+which she had just borrowed with a view of making some for herself; kid
+gloves being now so scarce that they were rarely to be had at any
+price.
+
+A few evenings afterwards, our young ladies were invited to join a party
+to a ball; where Mr. Wilson and Mr. Thomson were treated with
+considerable indifference by the Miss Darnels; but being very
+persevering young men, they consoled themselves with the hope that _le
+bon temps viendra_. About the middle of the evening, the girls espied at
+a distance, among the crowd of gentlemen near the door, the glitter of a
+pair of silver epaulets.
+
+"There's a field-officer, Aunt Sophia," said Harriet: "he wears two
+epaulets, and is therefore either a major or a colonel. So I am
+determined to dance with him."
+
+"If you can," added Caroline.
+
+"How will you accomplish this enterprise?" asked Sophia.
+
+"Oh!" replied Harriet, "I saw him talking to Mr. Wilson, who, I suppose,
+has got acquainted with him somehow. So I'll first dance with poor
+Wilson, just to put him into a good humour, and I'll make him introduce
+this field-officer to me."
+
+All this was accomplished. She _did_ dance with Mr. Wilson--he _was_ put
+into a good humour; and when, half-laughing, half-blushing, she
+requested that he would contrive for her an introduction to the
+field-officer, he smiled, and, somewhat to her surprise, said at once,
+"Your wish shall be gratified," adding, "he fought bravely at
+Tippecanoe, and was rewarded with a commission in the regular service."
+
+Mr. Wilson then left her, and in a few minutes returned with the
+gentleman in question, whom he introduced as Major Steifenbiegen. The
+major was of German extraction (as his name denoted), and came
+originally from one of the back counties of Pennsylvania.
+
+When Harriet Darnel had a near view of him, she found that the
+field-officer, though a tall, stout man, was not distinguished by any
+elegance of figure, and that his features, though by no means ugly, were
+heavy and inexpressive, and his movements very much like those of a
+wooden image set in motion by springs. However, he was in full uniform,
+and had two epaulets, and wore the U. S. button.
+
+On being introduced by young Wilson to Harriet and her companions, the
+major bowed almost to the floor, as he gravely requested the honour of
+Miss Darnel's hand for the next set,--which he told her he was happy to
+say was a country-dance. On her assenting, he expressed his gratitude in
+slow and measured terms, and in a manner that showed he had been
+studying his speech during his progress across the ball-room.
+
+"Madam," said he, "will you have the goodness to accept my most obliged
+thanks for the two honours you are doing me; first, in desiring the
+acquaintance of so unworthy an object, and secondly, madam, in agreeing
+to dance with me? I have never been so much favoured by so fine a young
+lady."
+
+Harriet looked reproachfully at Mr. Wilson for having betrayed to Major
+Steifenbiegen her wish for the introduction; but Wilson afterwards took
+an opportunity of making her understand that she had nothing to fear;
+the field-officer being entirely guiltless of the sin of vanity--as far,
+at least, as regarded the ladies.
+
+In a few minutes a fair-haired, slovenly, but rather a handsome young
+man, in a citizen's old brown surtout, with an epaulet on his left
+shoulder, came up to Major Steifenbiegen, and slapping him on the back,
+said, "Well, here I am, just from Washington. I've got a
+commission,--you see, I've mounted my epaulet,--and the tailor is making
+my uniform. Who's that pretty girl you're going to dance with?" he
+added, in a loud whisper.
+
+"Miss Darnel," replied the major, drawing him aside, and speaking in a
+tone quite different from that in which he thought proper to address the
+ladies.
+
+"Is that her sister beside her--the one that's dressed exactly the
+same?"
+
+"I presume so."
+
+"You know it is--she's the prettiest of the two. So introduce me, and I
+declare I'll take her out."
+
+"I don't see how you can dance in that long surtout," observed the
+major.
+
+"Just as well as you can in those long jack-boots."
+
+"But I'm in full uniform," said the major, "and your dress is neither
+one thing nor t'other."
+
+"No matter for that," replied the youth, "I'm old Virginia, and am above
+caring about my dress. Haven't I my epaulet on my shoulder, to let
+everybody know I'm an officer?--and that's enough. Show me the girl that
+wouldn't be willing, any minute, to 'pack up her tatters and follow the
+drum.'"
+
+Major Steifenbiegen then introduced to the ladies Lieutenant Tinsley,
+who requested Miss Caroline Darnel's hand for the next dance. Caroline,
+consoling herself with the idea that _her_ officer, though in an old
+brown surtout and dingy Jefferson shoes, was younger and handsomer than
+Harriet's major, allowed him, as he expressed it, to carry her to the
+dance,--which, he did by tucking her hand under his arm, and walking
+very fast; informing her, at the same time, that he was old Virginia.
+
+Major Steifenbiegen respectfully took the tips of Harriet's fingers,
+saying, "Madam, I am highly obligated to you for allowing me the
+privilege of leading you by the hand to the dance: I consider it a third
+honour."
+
+"Then you are three by honours," said Tinsley.
+
+Miss Clements, who was too much fatigued by six sets of cotillions to
+undertake the "never-ending, still-beginning country-dance," remained in
+her seat, talking to her last partner, and regarding at a distance the
+proceedings of her two nieces and their military beaux.
+
+It is well known that during the war of 1812, commissions were sometimes
+bestowed upon citizens who proved excellent soldiers, but whose
+opportunities of acquiring the polish of gentlemen had been rather
+circumscribed. There were really a few such officers as Major
+Steifenbiegen and Lieutenant Tinsley.
+
+The Miss Darnels and their partners took their places near the top of
+the country-dance. While it was forming, each of the gentlemen
+endeavoured to entertain his lady according to his own way--the major by
+slowly hammering out a series of dull and awkward compliments, and the
+lieutenant by a profusion of idle talk that Caroline laughed at without
+knowing why; seasoned as it was with local words and phrases, and with
+boastings about that section of the Union which had the honour of being
+his birth-place.
+
+"Madam," said the major, "I think it is the duty of an officer--the
+bounden duty--to make himself agreeable, that is, to be perpetually
+polite, and so forth. I mean we are to be always agreeable to the
+ladies, because the ladies are always agreeable to us. Perhaps, madam, I
+don't speak loud enough. Madam, don't you think it is the duty of an
+officer to be polite and agreeable to the ladies?"
+
+"Certainly," answered Harriet, "of an officer and of all gentlemen."
+
+"Very true, madam," persisted the major, "your sentiments are quite
+correct. All gentlemen should be polite to the fair sex, but officers
+particularly. Not that I would presume to hint that they ought to be so
+out of gratitude, or that ladies are apt to like officers--I have not
+that vanity, madam--we are not a vain people--that is, we officers. But
+perhaps, madam, my conversation does not amuse you."
+
+"Oh! yes it does," replied Harriet, archly.
+
+"Well, madam, if it doesn't, just mention it to me, and I'll willingly
+stop,--the honour of dancing with so fine a young lady is sufficient
+happiness."
+
+"Well, Miss," said young Tinsley to Caroline, "you have but a stran_n_ge
+sort of dancing here to the north. I can't make out much with your
+cotillions. Before one has time to learn the figure by heart they're
+over; and as to your sash_a_y and balanj_a_y, I don't know which is
+which: I'm not good at any of your French capers--I'm old Virginia. Give
+me one of our own up-country reels--'Fire in the mountains,' or 'Possum
+up the gum tree,'--I could show you the figure in a minute, with
+ourselves and two chears."
+
+The dance had now commenced; and Major Steifenbiegen showed some signs
+of trepidation, saying to Miss Darnel, "Madam, will you allow me, if I
+may be so bold, to tax your goodness farther by depending entirely on
+your kind instructions as to the manoeuvres of the dance. I cannot
+say, madam, that I ever was a dancing character--some people are not.
+It's a study that I have but lately taken up. But with so fine a young
+lady for a teacher, I hope to acquit myself properly. I have been
+informed that Rome was not built in a day. Please, madam, to tell me
+what I am to do first."
+
+"Observe the gentleman above you," replied Harriet, "and you will see in
+a moment."
+
+The major did observe, but could not "catch the idea." The music was
+Fisher's Hornpipe, at that time very popular as a country-dance, and
+Major Steifenbiegen was at length made to understand that he was first
+to go down by himself, outside of the line of gentlemen, and without his
+partner, who was to go down on the inside. He set off on his lonely
+expedition with rather a _triste_ countenance. To give himself a wide
+field, he struck out so far into the vacant part of the room, that a
+stranger, entering at the moment, would have supposed that, for some
+misdemeanor, he had been expelled from the dance, and was performing a
+solitary _pas seul_ by way of penance. His face brightened, however,
+when a gentleman, observing that he took no "note of time," kindly
+recalled him to his place in the vicinity of Miss Darnel. But his
+perplexities were now increased. In crossing hands, he went every way
+but the right one, and the confusion he caused, and his formal
+apologies, were as annoying to his partner,--who tried in vain to
+rectify his mistakes,--as they were diverting to the other ladies. He
+ducked his head, and raised his shoulders every time he made a dive at
+their hands, lifting his feet high, like the Irishman that "rose upon
+sugan, and sunk upon gad."
+
+Harriet could almost have cried with vexation; but the worst was still
+to come, and she prepared for the crowning misery of going down the
+middle with Major Steifenbiegen. He no longer touched merely the ends of
+her fingers, but he grasped both her hands hard, as if to secure her
+protection, and holding them high above her head, he blundered down the
+dance, running against one person, stumbling over another, and looking
+like a frightened fool, while his uniform made him doubly conspicuous.
+The smiles of the company were irrepressible, and those at a distance
+laughed outright.
+
+When they came to the bottom, Harriet, who was completely out of
+patience, declared herself fatigued, and insisted on sitting down; and
+the major, saying that it was his duty to comply with every request of
+so fine a young lady, led her to Miss Clements, who, though pained at
+her niece's evident mortification, had been an amused spectator of the
+dance. The major then took his station beside Harriet, fanning her
+awkwardly, and desiring permission to entertain her till the next set.
+She hinted that it would probably be more agreeable to him to join some
+of his friends on the other side of the room; but he told her that he
+could not be so ungrateful for the numerous honours she had done him, as
+to prefer any society to hers.
+
+In the mean time, Caroline Darnel had fared but little better with
+Lieutenant Tinsley; and she was glad to recollect, for the honour of the
+army, that he was only an officer of yesterday, and also to hope (as was
+the truth) that he was by no means a fair sample of the sons of
+Virginia. He danced badly and ridiculously, though certainly not from
+embarrassment, romped and scampered, and was entirely regardless of _les
+bienséances_.
+
+When they had got to the bottom of the set, and had paused to take
+breath, the lieutenant began to describe to Caroline an opossum
+hunt--then told her how inferior was the rabbit of Pennsylvania to the
+"old yar"[74] of Virginia; and descanted on the excellence of their
+corn-bread, bacon, and barbecued chickens. He acknowledged, however,
+that "where he was raised, the whole neighbourhood counted on having the
+ague every spring and fall."
+
+[Footnote 74: Hare.]
+
+"Then why do they stay there?" inquired Caroline. "I wonder that any
+people, who are able to leave it, should persist in living in such a
+place."
+
+"Oh! you don't know us at all," replied Tinsley. "We are so used to the
+ague, that when it quits us, we feel as if we were parting with an old
+friend. As for me, I fit against it for a while, and then gave up;
+finding that all the remedies, except mint-juleps, were worse than the
+disease. I used to sit upon the _stars_ and shake, wrapped in my big
+overcoat, with my hat on, and the capes drawn over my head--I'm old
+Virginia."
+
+Like her sister, Caroline now expressed a desire to quit the dance and
+sit down, to which her partner assented; and, after conveying her to her
+party, and telling her: "There, now, you can say you have danced with an
+officer," he wheeled off, adding: "I'll go and get a _cigyar_, and take
+a stroll round the _squarr_ with it. There's so much noise here that I
+can't do my think."
+
+The major looked astonished at Tinsley's immediate abandonment of a lady
+so young and so pretty, and, by way of contrast, was more obsequious
+than ever to Harriet, reiterating the request which he had made her as
+they quitted the dance, to honour him with her hand for the next set;
+telling her that now, having had some practice, he hoped, with her
+instructions, to acquit himself better than in the last. Harriet parried
+his importunities as adroitly as she could; determined to avoid any
+farther exhibition with him, and yet unwilling to sit still, according
+to the usual ball-room penalty for refusing the invitation of a
+proffered partner.
+
+Both the girls had been thoroughly ashamed of their epauletted beaux,
+and had often, during the dance, looked with wistful eyes towards
+Messrs. Wilson and Thomson, who were very genteel young men, and very
+good dancers, and whose partners--two beautiful girls--seemed very happy
+with them.
+
+The major, seeing that other gentlemen were doing so, now departed in
+quest of lemonade for the ladies; and, taking advantage of his absence,
+Harriet exclaimed: "Oh, Aunt Sophy, Aunt Sophy! tell me what to do--I
+cannot dance again with that intolerable man, neither do I wish to be
+compelled to sit still in consequence of refusing him. I have paid
+dearly for his two epaulets."
+
+"My fool had but one," said Caroline, "and a citizen's coat beside,
+therefore my bargain was far worse than yours. I have some hope,
+however, that he has no notion of asking me again, and if he has, that
+he will not get back from his tour round the _squarr_ before the next
+set begins. I wish his cigar was the size of one of those candles, that
+he might be the longer getting through with it! Oh! that some one would
+ask me immediately!"
+
+"I am sure I wish the same," said Harriet.
+
+At that moment, they were gladdened by the approach of Mr. Harford, a
+very ugly little man, whose dancing and deportment were sufficiently
+_comme il faut_, and no more. And when he requested Caroline's hand for
+the next set, both the girls, in their eagerness, started forward, and
+replied: "With pleasure."
+
+Mr. Harford, not appearing to perceive that her sister had also accepted
+the invitation, bowed his thanks to Caroline, who introduced him to Miss
+Clements. Harriet, recollecting herself, blushed and drew back; while
+Sophia, to cover her niece's confusion, entered into conversation with
+the gentleman.
+
+Presently, Major Steifenbiegen came up with three or four glasses of
+lemonade on a waiter, and a plate piled high with cakes; all of which he
+pressed on the ladies with most urgent perseverance, evidently desirous
+that they should drain the last drop of the lemonade, and finish the
+last morsel of the cakes.
+
+As soon as they had partaken of these refreshments, Mr. Harford led
+Caroline to a cotillion that was arranging. While talking to him she
+felt some one twitch her sleeve, and turning round she beheld Lieutenant
+Tinsley.
+
+"So, miss," said he, "you have given me the slip. Well, I have not been
+gone long. My cigyar was not good, so I chuck'd it away in short order;
+and I came back, and have been looking all about; but seeing nobody
+prettier, I concluded I might as well take you out for this dance also.
+However, there's not much harm done, as I suppose you'll have no
+objection to dance with me next time; and I'll try to get up a Virginia
+reel."
+
+Caroline, much vexed, replied, "I believe I shall dance no more after
+this set."
+
+"What! tired already!" exclaimed Tinsley; "it's easy to see you are not
+old Virginia."
+
+"I hope so," said Caroline, petulantly.
+
+"Why, that's rather a quare answer," resumed Tinsley, after pondering a
+moment till he had comprehended the innuendo; "but I suppose ladies must
+be allowed to say what they please. Good evening, miss."
+
+And he doggedly walked off, murmuring, "After all, these Philadelphia
+girls are not worth a copper."
+
+When Caroline turned round again, she was delighted to perceive the
+glitter of his epaulet amidst a group of young men that were leaving the
+room; and the music now striking up, she cheerfully led off with good,
+ugly Mr. Harford, who had risen highly in her estimation as contrasted
+with Lieutenant Tinsley.
+
+Meanwhile, Harriet remained in her seat beside her aunt; the major
+standing before them, prosing and complimenting, and setting forth his
+humble opinion of himself; in which opinion the two ladies, in their
+hearts, most cordially joined him. Miss Clements, who had much tact,
+drew him off from her niece, by engaging him in a dialogue exactly
+suited to his character and capacity; while, unperceived by the major,
+Mr. Thomson stepped up, and, after the interchange of a few words, led
+off Harriet to a cotillion, saying, "Depend upon it, he is not
+sufficiently _au fait_ of the etiquette of a ball room to take offence
+at your dancing with me, after having been asked by him."
+
+"But, if he _should_ resent it----"
+
+"Then I shall know how to answer him. But rely upon it, there is nothing
+to fear."
+
+It was not till the Chace was danced, and the major, happening to turn
+his head in following the eyes of Miss Clements, saw Harriet gayly
+flying round the cotillion with Mr. Thomson, that he missed her for the
+first time,--having taken it for granted that she would dance with him.
+He started, and exclaimed--"Well, I certainly am the most faulty of
+men--the most condemnable--the most unpardonable officer in the army--to
+be guilty of such neglect--such rudeness--and to so fine a young lady. I
+ought never to presume to show myself in the best classes of society.
+Madam, may I hope that you will stand my friend--that you will help me
+to gain my pardon?"
+
+"For what?" asked Miss Clements.
+
+"For inviting that handsome young lady to favour me again with her hand,
+and then to neglect observing when the dance was about to begin, so that
+she was obliged to accept the offer of another gentleman. He, no doubt,
+stepped up just in time to save her from sitting still, which, I am
+told, is remarkably disagreeable to young ladies. Madam, I mean no
+reflection on you--I am incapable of any reflection on you--but (if I
+may be so bold as to say so) it was _your_ fine, sensible conversation
+that drew me from my duty."
+
+The set being now over, Major Steifenbiegen advanced to meet Mr. Thomson
+and Miss Darnel, and he accosted the former with--"Sir, give me your
+hand. Sir, you are a gentleman, and I am much obligated to you for
+sparing this young lady the mortification of not dancing with me."
+
+("You may leave out the 'not,'" murmured Harriet to herself.)
+
+"Of not enjoying the dance to which I had invited her, and of saving her
+from sitting still for want of a partner--all owing to my unofficer-like
+conduct in neglecting to claim her hand. I begin to perceive that I want
+some more practice in ball behaviour. I thank you again for your humane
+kindness to the young lady, which, I hope, will turn aside her anger
+from me."
+
+"Oh, yes!" said Harriet, almost afraid to speak lest she should laugh.
+
+"Will you favour me with your name, sir?" pursued the major.
+
+Mr. Thomson gave it, much amused at the turn that things had taken. The
+major, after admiring the name, said he should always remember it with
+esteem, and regretted that his having to set out for Plattsburgh early
+on the following morning would, for the present, prevent their farther
+acquaintance. He then made sundry other acknowledgments to Harriet for
+all the honours she had done him that evening, including her forgiveness
+of his "letting her dance without him,"--bowed to Caroline, who had just
+approached with Mr. Harford; and, going up to Miss Clements, he thanked
+her for her conversation, and finally took his departure. The girls did
+not laugh till he was entirely out of the room, though Harriet remarked
+that he walked edgeways, which she had not observed when he was first
+brought up to her; her fancy being then excited, and her perception
+blinded by the glitter of his two epaulets.
+
+"Well, Miss Darnel," said Mr. Wilson, who had just joined them, "how do
+you like your field-officer?"
+
+"Need you ask me?" replied Harriet. "In future I shall hate the sight of
+two silver epaulets."
+
+"And I of one gold one," added Caroline.
+
+"I will not trust you," said Mr. Thomson, with a smile.
+
+"We shall see," said Mr. Wilson.
+
+"Well, young ladies," observed Miss Clements, "you may at least deduce
+one moral from the events of the evening. You find that it _is_ possible
+for officers to be extremely annoying, and to deport themselves in a
+manner that you would consider intolerable in citizens."
+
+"It is intolerable in _them_, aunt," replied Harriet, "particularly when
+they are stiff and ungainly in all their movements, and dance
+shockingly."
+
+"And if they are conceited, and prating, and ungenteel," added Caroline.
+
+"Awkward in their expressions, and dull in their ideas," pursued
+Harriet.
+
+"Talking ridiculously and behaving worse," continued Caroline.
+
+"Come, come," said Sophia Clements, "candour must compel us to
+acknowledge that these two gentlemen are anything but fair specimens of
+their profession, which I am very sure can boast a large majority of
+intelligent, polished, and accomplished men."
+
+"Be that as it may," replied Harriet, "I confess that my delight in the
+show and parade of war, and my admiration of officers, has received a
+severe shock to-night. 'My thoughts, I must confess, are turned on
+peace.'"
+
+"I fear these pacific feelings are too sudden to be lasting," remarked
+Miss Clements, "and in a day or two we shall find that 'your voice is
+still for war.'"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The following morning the young ladies did more sewing than on any day
+for the last two years, sitting all the time in the back parlour. In the
+afternoon, Harriet read Coelebs aloud to her mother and aunt, and
+Caroline went out to do some shopping. When she came home, she told of
+her having stopped in at Mrs. Raymond's, and of her finding the family
+just going to tea with an officer as their guest. "They pressed me
+urgently," said she, "to sit down and take tea with them, and to remain
+and spend the evening; but I steadily excused myself, notwithstanding
+the officer."
+
+"Good girl!" said Sophia.
+
+"To be sure," added Caroline, "he was only in a citizen's dress."
+
+"Ah!" said Mrs. Darnel, "that materially alters the case. Had he been in
+uniform, I am sure your steadiness would have given way."
+
+In less than two days all their anti-military resolutions were overset,
+and the young ladies were again on the _qui vive_, in consequence of the
+promulgation of an order for the return of the volunteers from Camp
+Dupont, as, the winter having set in, the enemy had retired from the
+vicinity of the Delaware and Chesapeake. The breaking up of this
+encampment was an event of much interest to the inhabitants of
+Philadelphia, as there were few of them that had not a near relative, or
+an intimate friend among those citizen-soldiers.
+
+On the morning that they marched home all business was suspended; the
+pavements and door-steps were crowded with spectators, and the windows
+filled with ladies, eager to recognise among the returning volunteers
+their brothers, sons, husbands, or lovers,--who, on their side, cast
+many upward glances towards the fair groups that were gazing on them.
+
+The British General Riall, who had been taken prisoner at the battle of
+Niagara, chanced to be at a house on the road-side when this gallant
+band went by, on their way to Philadelphia. It is said that he remarked
+to an American gentleman near him, "You should never go to war with
+us--the terms are too unequal. Men like these are too valuable to be
+thrown away in battle with such as compose _our_ armies, which are
+formed from the overflowings of a superabundant population; while here I
+see not a man that you can spare."
+
+And he was essentially right.
+
+The volunteers entered the city by the central bridge, and came down
+Market street. All were in high spirits, and glad to return once more to
+their homes and families. But unfortunate were those who on that day
+formed the rear-guard, it being their inglorious lot to come in late in
+the afternoon, after the spectators had withdrawn, convoying, with
+"toilsome march, the long array" of baggage-wagons, which they had been
+all day forcing through the heavy roads of an early winter, cold, weary,
+and dispirited, with no music to cheer them, no acclamations to greet
+them. No doubt, however, their chagrin was soon dispelled, and their
+enjoyment proportionately great, when at last they reached their own
+domestic hearths, and met the joyous faces and happy hearts assembled
+round them.
+
+A few days after the return of the volunteers, Mrs. Darnel received a
+letter from an old friend of hers, Mrs. Forrester, a lady of large
+fortune, residing in Boston, containing the information that her son,
+Colonel Forrester, would shortly proceed to Philadelphia from the Canada
+frontier, and that she would accompany him, taking the opportunity of
+making her a long-promised visit. Mrs. Darnel replied immediately,
+expressive of the pleasure it would afford her to meet again one of the
+most intimate companions of her youth, and to have both Mrs. Forrester
+and the colonel staying at her house.
+
+The same post brought a letter to Sophia from Mr. Clements, her brother,
+in New York, who, after telling her of his having heard that Colonel
+Forrester would shortly be in Philadelphia, jestingly proposed her
+attempting the conquest of his heart, as he was not only a gallant
+officer, but a man of high character and noble appearance. Sophia showed
+this letter to no one, but she read it twice over,--the first time with
+a smile, the second time with a blush. She had heard much of Colonel
+Forrester, of whom "report spoke goldenly;" and several times in New
+York she had seen him in public, but had never chanced to meet him,
+except once at a very large party, when accident had prevented his
+introduction to her.
+
+Harriet and Caroline were almost wild with delight at the prospect of an
+intimate acquaintance with this accomplished warrior; but their joy was
+somewhat damped by the arrival of a second letter from Mrs. Forrester,
+in which she designated the exact time when she might be expected at the
+house of her friend, but said that her son, having some business that
+would detain him several weeks in Philadelphia, would not trespass on
+the hospitality of Mrs. Darnel, but had made arrangements for staying at
+a hotel.
+
+"He is perfectly right," said Sophia. "I concluded, of course, that he
+would do so. Few gentlemen, when in a city, like to stay at private
+houses, if they can be accommodated elsewhere."
+
+"At all events," said Harriet, "his mother will be with us, and he
+_must_ come every day to pay his duty to her."
+
+"That's some comfort," pursued Caroline; "and, no doubt, we shall see a
+great deal of him, one way or another."
+
+Sophia Clements, though scarcely conscious of it herself, felt a secret
+desire of appearing to advantage in the eyes of Colonel Forrester. Her
+two nieces felt the same desire, except that they made it no secret.
+They had worked up their imaginations to the persuasion that Colonel
+Forrester was the finest man in the army, and therefore the finest in
+the world, and they anticipated the delight of his being their frequent
+guest during the stay of his mother; of his morning visits, and his
+evening visits; of having him at dinner and at tea; of planning
+excursions with him to show Mrs. Forrester the lions of the city and its
+vicinity, when, of course, he would be their escort. They imagined him
+walking in Chestnut street with them, and sitting in the same box at the
+theatre. Be it remembered, that during the war, officers in the regular
+service were seldom seen out of uniform, and even when habited as
+citizens they were always distinguished by that "gallant badge, the dear
+cockade." Perhaps, also, Colonel Forrester and his mother might
+accompany them to a ball, and they would then have the glory of dancing
+with an officer so elegant as entirely to efface their mortification at
+their former military partners. We need not say that Messrs. Wilson and
+Thomson were again at a discount.
+
+The girls were taken with an immediate want of various new articles of
+dress, and had their attention been less engaged by the activity of
+their preparations for "looking their very best," the time that
+intervened between the receipt of Mrs. Forrester's last letter and that
+appointed for their arrival, would have seemed of length immeasurable.
+
+At last came the eve of the day on which these all-important strangers
+were expected. As they quitted the tea-table, one of the young ladies
+remarked:--
+
+"By this time to-morrow, we shall have seen Col. Forrester and his
+mother."
+
+"As to the mother," observed Mrs. Darnel, "I am very sure that were it
+not for the son, the expectation of _her_ visit would excite but little
+interest in either of you--though, as you have often heard me say, she
+is a very agreeable and highly intelligent woman."
+
+"We can easily perceive it from her letters," said Sophia.
+
+Mrs. Darnel, complaining of the headache, retired for the night very
+early in the evening, desiring that she might not be disturbed. Sophia
+took some needle-work, and each of the girls tried a book, but were too
+restless and unsettled to read, and they alternately walked about the
+room or extended themselves on the sofas. It was a dark, stormy
+night--the windows rattled, and the pattering of the rain against the
+glass was plainly heard through the inside shutters.
+
+"I wish to-morrow evening were come," said Harriet, "and that the
+introduction was over, and we were all seated round the tea-table."
+
+"For my part," said Caroline, "I have a presentiment that everything
+will go on well. We will all do _notre possible_ to look our very best;
+mamma will take care that the rooms and the table shall be arranged in
+admirable style--and if you and I can only manage to talk and behave
+just as we ought, there is nothing to fear."
+
+"I hope, indeed, that Colonel Forrester will like us," rejoined Harriet,
+"and be induced to continue his visits when he again comes to
+Philadelphia."
+
+"Much depends on the first impression," remarked Miss Clements.
+
+"Now let us just imagine over the arrival of Colonel and Mrs.
+Forrester," said Harriet.--"The lamps lighted, and the fires burning
+brightly in both rooms. In the back parlour, the tea-table set out with
+the French china and the chased plate;--mamma sitting in an arm-chair
+with her feet on one of the embroidered footstools, dressed in her
+queen's-gray lutestring, and one of her Brussels lace caps--I suppose
+the one trimmed with white riband. Aunt Sophia in her myrtle-green
+levantine, seated at the marble table in the front parlour, holding in
+her hand an elegant book--for instance, her beautiful copy of the
+Pleasures of Hope. Caroline and I will wear our new scarlet Canton
+crapes with the satin trimming, and our coral ornaments."
+
+"No, no," rejoined Caroline; "we resemble each other so much that, if we
+are dressed alike, Colonel Forrester will find too great a sameness in
+us. Do you wear your scarlet crape, and I will put on my white muslin
+with the six narrow flounces headed with insertion.[75] I have reserved
+it clean on purpose; and I think Aunt Sophia had best wear her last new
+coat dress, with the lace trimming. It is so becoming to her with a pink
+silk handkerchief tied under the collar."
+
+[Footnote 75: In those days, white muslin dresses were worn both in
+winter and summer.]
+
+"Well," said Harriet, "I will be seated at the table also, not reading,
+but working a pair of cambric cuffs; my mother-of-pearl work-box before
+me."
+
+"And I," resumed Caroline, "will be found at the piano, turning over the
+leaves of a new music-book. Every one looks their best on a music-stool;
+it shows the figure to advantage, and the dress falls in such graceful
+folds."
+
+"My hair shall be _à la Grecque_," said Harriet.
+
+"And mine in the Vandyke style," said Caroline.
+
+"But," asked Sophia, "are the strangers on entering the room to find us
+all sitting up in form, and arranged for effect, like actresses waiting
+for the bell to ring and the curtain to rise? How can you pretend that
+you were not the least aware of their approach till they were actually
+in the room, when you know very well that you will be impatiently
+listening to the sound of every carriage till you hear theirs stop at
+the door. Never, certainly, will a visiter come _less_ unexpectedly than
+Colonel Forrester."
+
+"But you know, aunt," replied Caroline, "how much depends on a first
+impression."
+
+"Well," resumed Harriet, "I have thought of another way. As soon as they
+enter the front parlour let us all advance through the folding doors to
+meet them,--mamma leading the van with Aunt Sophy, Caroline and I arm in
+arm behind."
+
+"No," said Caroline, "let us not be close together, so that the same
+glance can take in both."
+
+"Then," rejoined Harriet, "I will be a few steps in advance of you. You,
+as the youngest, should be timid, and should hold back a little; while
+I, as the eldest, should have more self-possession. Variety is
+advisable."
+
+"But I cannot be timid all the time," said Caroline; "that will require
+too great an effort."
+
+"We must not laugh and talk too much at first," observed Harriet; "but
+all we say must be both sprightly and sensible. However, we shall have
+the whole day to-morrow to make our final arrangements; and I think I am
+still in favour of the sitting reception."
+
+"Whether he has a sitting or a standing reception," said Caroline, "let
+the colonel have as striking a _coup d'oeil_ as possible."
+
+Their brother Robert had gone to the theatre by invitation of a family
+with whose sons he was intimate; and Sophia Clements, who was desirous
+of finishing a highly interesting book, and who was not in the least
+addicted to sleepiness, volunteered to sit up for him.
+
+"I think," said she, "as the hour is too late, and the night too stormy
+to expect any visiters, I will go and exchange my dress for a wrapper; I
+can then be perfectly at my ease while sitting up for Robert. I will
+first ring for Peter to move one of the sofas to the side of the fire,
+and to place the reading-lamp upon the table before it."
+
+She did so; and in a short time she came down in a loose double wrapper,
+and with her curls pinned up.
+
+"Really, Aunt Sophy," said Harriet, "that is an excellent idea.
+Caroline, let us pin our hair here in the parlour before the
+mantel-glass; that will be better still--our own toilet table is far
+from the fire."
+
+"True," replied Caroline, "and you are always so long at the
+dressing-glass that it is an age before I can get to it,--but here, if
+there were even four of us, we could all stand in a row and arrange our
+hair together before this long mirror."
+
+They sent up for their combs and brushes, their boxes of hair pins, and
+their flannel dressing-gowns, and placed candles on the mantel-piece,
+preparing for what they called "clear comfort;" while Sophia reclined on
+the sofa by the fire, deeply engaged with Miss Owenson's new novel. The
+girls, having poured some cologne-water into a glass, wetted out all
+their ringlets with it, preparatory to the grand curling that was to be
+undertaken for the morrow, and which was not to be opened out during the
+day.
+
+Harriet had just taken out her comb and untied her long hair behind, to
+rehearse its arrangement for the ensuing evening, when a ring was heard
+at the street-door.
+
+"That's Bob," said Caroline. "He is very early from the theatre; I
+wonder he should come home without staying for the farce."
+
+Presently their black man, with a grin of high delight, threw open the
+parlour-door, and ushered in an elegant-looking officer, who, having
+left his cloak in the hall, appeared before them in full uniform,--and
+they saw at a glance that it could be no one but Colonel Forrester.
+
+Words cannot describe the consternation and surprise of the young
+ladies. Sophia dropped her book, and started on her feet; Harriet
+throwing down her comb so that it broke in pieces on the hearth,
+retreated to a chair that stood behind the sofa with such precipitation
+as nearly to overset the table and the reading-lamp; and Caroline,
+scattering her hair-pins over the carpet, knew not where she was, till
+she found herself on a footstool in one of the recesses. Alas! for the
+_coup d'oeil_ and the first impression! Instead of heads _à la
+Grecque_, or in the Vandyke fashion, their whole _chevelure_ was
+disordered, and their side-locks straightened into long strings, and
+clinging, wet and ungraceful, to their cheeks. Instead of scarlet crape
+frocks trimmed with satin, or white muslin with six flounces, their
+figures were enveloped in flannel dressing-gowns. All question of the
+sitting reception, or the standing reception was now at an end; for
+Harriet was hiding unsuccessfully behind the sofa, and Caroline
+crouching on a footstool in the corner, trying to conceal a large rent
+which in her hurry she had given to her flannel gown. Resolutions never
+again to make their toilet in the parlour, regret that they had not
+thought of flying into the adjoining room and shutting the folding-doors
+after them, and wonder at the colonel's premature appearance, all passed
+through their minds with the rapidity of lightning.
+
+Sophia, after a moment's hesitation, rallied from her confusion; and her
+natural good sense and ease of manner came to her aid, as she curtsied
+to the stranger and pointed to a seat. Colonel Forrester, who saw at
+once that he had come at an unlucky season, after introducing himself,
+and saying he presumed he was addressing Miss Clements, proceeded
+immediately to explain the reason of his being a day in advance of the
+appointed time. He stated that his mother, on account of the dangerous
+illness of an intimate and valued friend, had been obliged to postpone
+her visit to Philadelphia; and that in consequence of an order from the
+war-office, which required his immediate presence at Washington, he had
+been obliged to leave Boston a day sooner than he intended, and to
+travel with all the rapidity that the public conveyances would admit. He
+had arrived about eight o'clock at the Mansion House Hotel, where a
+dinner was given that evening to a distinguished naval commander.
+Colonel Forrester had immediately been waited upon by a deputation from
+the dinner-table, with a pressing invitation to join the company; and
+this (though he did not then allude to it) was the reason of his being
+in full uniform. Compelled to pursue his journey very early in the
+morning, he had taken the opportunity, as soon as he could get away from
+the table, of paying his compliments to the ladies, and bringing with
+him a letter to Miss Clements from her brother, whom he had seen in
+passing through New York, and one from his mother for Mrs. Darnel.
+
+Grievously chagrined and mortified as the girls were, they listened
+admiringly to the clear and handsome manner in which the colonel made
+his explanation, and they more than ever regretted that all their
+castles in the air were demolished, and that after this unlucky visit he
+would probably have no desire to see them again, when he came to
+Philadelphia on his return from Washington.
+
+Sophia, who saw at once that she had to deal with a man of tact and
+consideration, felt that an apology for the disorder in which he had
+found them was to him totally unnecessary, being persuaded that he
+already comprehended all she could have said in the way of excuse; and,
+with true civility, she forbore to make any allusion which might remind
+him that his unexpected visit had caused them discomfiture or annoyance.
+Kindred spirits soon understand each other.
+
+The girls were amazed to see their aunt so cool and so much at her ease,
+when her beautiful hair was pinned up, and her beautiful form disfigured
+by a large wrapper. But the colonel had penetration enough to perceive
+that under all these disadvantages she was an elegant woman.
+
+Harriet and Caroline, though longing to join in the conversation, made
+signs to Sophia not to introduce them to the colonel, as they could not
+endure the idea of his attention being distinctly attracted towards
+them; and they perceived that in the fear of adding to their
+embarrassment he seemed to avoid noticing their presence. But they
+contrived to exchange signals of approbation at his wearing the staff
+uniform, with its golden-looking bullet buttons, and its shining star on
+each extremity of the coat skirts.
+
+Colonel Forrester now began to admire a picture that hung over the
+piano, and Sophia took a candle and conducted him to it, that while his
+back was towards them, the girls might have an opportunity of rising and
+slipping out of the room. Of this lucky chance they instantly and with
+much adroitness availed themselves, ran up stairs, and in a shorter time
+than they had ever before changed their dresses, they came back with
+frocks on,--not, however, the scarlet crape, and the six-flounced
+muslin,--and with their hair nicely but simply arranged, by parting it
+on their foreheads in front, and turning it in a band round their combs
+behind. Sophia introduced them to the colonel, and they were now able to
+speak; but were still too much discomposed by their recent fright to be
+very fluent, or much at their ease.
+
+In the mean time, their brother Robert had come home from the theatre;
+and the boy's eyes sparkled, when, on Miss Clements presenting her
+nephew, the colonel shook hands with him.
+
+Colonel Forrester began to find it difficult to depart, and he was
+easily induced to stay and partake of the little collation that was on
+the table waiting the return of Robert; and the ease and grace with
+which Sophia did the honours of their _petit souper_ completely charmed
+him.
+
+In conversation, Colonel Forrester was certainly "both sprightly and
+sensible." He had read much, seen much, and was peculiarly happy in his
+mode of expressing himself. Time flew as if
+
+    "----birds of paradise had lent
+    Their plumage to his wings,"
+
+and when the colonel took out his watch and discovered the lateness of
+the hour, the ladies _looked_ their surprise, and his was denoted by a
+very handsome compliment to them. He then concluded his visit by
+requesting permission to resume their acquaintance on his return from
+Washington.
+
+As soon as he had finally departed, and Robert had locked the door after
+him, the girls broke out into a rhapsody of admiration, mingled with
+regret at the state in which he had surprised them, and the entire
+failure of their first impression, which they feared had not been
+retrieved by their second appearance in an improved style.
+
+"Well," said Bob, "yours may have been a failure, but I am sure that was
+not the case with Aunt Sophia. It is plain enough that the colonel's
+impression of _her_ turned out very well indeed, notwithstanding that
+she kept on her wrapper, and had her hair pinned up all the time. Aunt
+Sophy is a person that a man may fall in love with in any dress; that
+is, a man who has as much sense as herself."
+
+"As I am going to be a midshipman," continued Robert, "there is one
+thing I particularly like in Colonel Forrester, which is, that he is not
+in the least jealous of the navy. How handsomely he spoke of the
+sea-officers!"
+
+"A man of sense and feeling," observed Sophia, "is rarely susceptible of
+so mean a vice as jealousy."
+
+"How animated he looked," pursued the boy, "when he spoke of Midshipman
+Hamilton arriving at Washington with the news of the capture of the
+Macedonian, and going in his travelling dress to Mrs. Madison's ball, in
+search of his father the secretary of the navy, to show his despatches
+to him, and the flag of the British frigate to the President, carrying
+it with him for the purpose. No wonder the dancing ceased, and the
+ladies cried."
+
+"Did you observe him," said Harriet, "when he talked of Captain
+Crowninshield going to Halifax to bring home the body of poor Lawrence,
+in a vessel of his own, manned entirely by twelve sea-captains, who
+volunteered for the purpose?"
+
+"And did not you like him," said Caroline, "when he was speaking of
+Perry removing in his boat from the Lawrence to the Niagara, in the
+thickest of the battle, and carrying his flag on his arm? And when he
+praised the gallant seamanship of Captain Morris, when he took advantage
+of a tremendous tempest to sail out of the Chesapeake, where he had been
+so long blockaded by the enemy, passing fearlessly through the midst of
+the British squadron, not one of them daring, on account of the storm,
+to follow him to sea and fight him."
+
+"The eloquence of the colonel seems to have inspired you all," said
+Sophia.
+
+"Aunt Sophy," remarked Caroline, "at supper to-night, did you feel as
+firm in your resolution of never marrying an officer, as you were at the
+tea-table?"
+
+"Colonel Forrester is not the only agreeable man I have met with,"
+replied Miss Clements, evading the question. "It has been my good
+fortune to know many gentlemen that were handsome and intelligent."
+
+"Well," said Robert, "one thing is plain enough to me, that Colonel
+Forrester is exactly suited to Aunt Sophy, and he knows it himself."
+
+"And now, Bob," said Sophia, blushing, "light your candle, and go to
+bed."
+
+"Bob is right," observed Harriet, after he had gone; "I saw in a moment
+that such a man as Colonel Forrester would never fancy _me_."
+
+"Nor me," said Caroline.
+
+Sophia kissed her nieces with more kindness than usual as they bade her
+good-night. And, they, retired to bed impatient for the arrival of
+morning, that they might give their mother all the particulars of
+Colonel Forrester's visit.
+
+In a fortnight, he returned from Washington, and this time he made his
+first visit in the morning, and saw all the ladies to the best
+advantage. His admiration of Sophia admitted not of a doubt. Being
+employed for the remainder of the winter on some military duty in
+Philadelphia, he went for a few days to Boston and brought his mother
+(whose friend had recovered from her illness), to fulfil her expected
+visit. The girls found Mrs. Forrester a charming woman, and, fortunately
+for them, very indulgent to the follies of young people. The colonel
+introduced to them various officers that were passing through the city,
+so that they really _did_ walk in Chestnut street with gentlemen in
+uniform, and sat in boxes with them at the theatre.
+
+Before the winter was over, Sophia Clements had promised to become Mrs.
+Forrester as soon as the war was at an end. This fortunate event took
+place sooner than was expected, the treaty having been made, though it
+did not arrive, previous to the victory of New Orleans. The colonel
+immediately claimed the hand of the lady, and the wedding and its
+preparations, by engaging the attention of Harriet and Caroline, enabled
+them to conform to the return of peace with more philosophy than was
+expected. The streets no longer resounded with drums and fifes. Most of
+the volunteer corps disbanded themselves--the army was reduced, and the
+officers left off wearing their uniforms, except when at their posts.
+The military ardour of the young ladies rapidly subsided--citizens were
+again at par--and Harriet and Caroline began to look with complacence on
+their old admirers. Messrs. Wilson and Thomson were once more in
+favour--and, seeing the coast clear, they, in process of time, ventured
+to propose, and were thankfully accepted.
+
+
+
+
+PETER JONES.
+
+A SKETCH FROM LIFE.
+
+     "Let the players be cared for."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+In the early part of the present century, there lived in one of the long
+streets in the south-eastern section of Philadelphia, a tailor, whom we
+shall introduce to our readers by the name of Peter Jones. His
+old-fashioned residence, which (strange to say) is yet standing, was not
+then put out of countenance by the modern-built structures that have
+since been run up on each side of it. There were, it is true, three or
+four new houses nearly opposite, all of them tenanted by genteel
+families--but Peter's side of the way (at least for the length of a
+square), was yet untouched by the hand of improvement, his own domicile
+being the largest and best in the row, and moreover of three stories--an
+advantage not possessed by the others. It had a square-topped door
+lighted by three small square panes--the parlour window (there was but
+one) being glazed to match, also with small glass and heavy wood work.
+The blue-painted wooden door-step was furnished with a very convenient
+seat, denominated the porch, and sheltered above by a moss-grown
+pent-house. The whole front of the mansion was shaded by an enormous
+buttonwood tree, that looked as if it had been spared from the primeval
+forest by the axe of a companion of William Penn. The house, indeed,
+might have been the country seat of one of the early colonists. Under
+this tree stood a pump of excellent water.
+
+Adjoining to the house was a little low blue frame, fronting also the
+street--and no ground speculator could pass it without sighing to think
+that so valuable a lot should be thus wasted. But Peter Jones owned both
+house and shop--his circumstances were comfortable, his tastes and
+ideas the reverse of elegant, and he had sense enough to perceive that
+in attempting a superior style of life he should be out of his element,
+and therefore less happy. Assisted at times by a journeyman, he
+continued to work at his trade because he was used to it, and that he
+might still have the enjoyment of making clothes for three or four
+veterans of the revolution; and also for two old judges, who had been in
+Congress in those sensible times when that well-chosen body acted more
+and talked less. All these sexagenarians, having been enamoured of Peter
+Jones's cut when he was the Watson of his day, still retained their
+predilection for it; liking also to feel at ease in their own clothes,
+and not to wear garments that seemed as if borrowed from "the sons of
+little men." These gentlemen of the old school never passed without
+stopping at the shop window to chat a few words with Peter; sometimes
+stepping in, and taking a seat on his green Windsor chair--himself
+always occupying the shop-board, whether he was at work or not.
+
+Our hero, though a tailor, was a tall, stout, ruddy, well-looking old
+man, having a fine capacious forehead, thinly shaded with gray hair,
+which was tied behind in a queue, and a clear, lively blue eye. He had
+acquired something of a martial air while assisting in the war of
+Independence, by making regimental coats--and no doubt this assistance
+was of considerable importance to the cause, it being then supposed that
+all men, even Americans, fight better, and endure hardships longer, when
+dressed in uniform.
+
+Peter Jones was a very popular man among his neighbours, being frank,
+good-natured, and clever in all manner of things. As soon as the new
+houses opposite were occupied, he made acquaintance with their
+inhabitants, who all regarded him as what is called a character; and he
+never abused the degree of familiarity to which they admitted him. He
+was considered a sort of walking directory--but when applied to, by a
+new settler, for the "whereabout" of a carpenter who might be wanted for
+a job, his usual answer was--"I believe I will bring over my saw and
+plane, and do it myself"--also, if a lock-smith or bell-hanger was
+inquired for, Peter Jones generally came himself, and repaired the lock
+or re-fixed the bell; just as skilfully as if he had been "to the manner
+born."
+
+He took several of the opposite gardens under his special protection,
+and supplied them with seeds and roots from his own stock. He was as
+proud of their morning-glories, queen margarets, johny-jump-ups,
+daffydowndillies (for so in primitive parlance he called all these
+beautiful flowers), as if they had been produced in his own rather
+extensive ground, which was always in fine order, and to see which he
+often invited his neighbouring fellow-citizens. In flower season, he was
+rarely seen without a sprig or two in one of the button-holes of his
+lengthy waistcoat, for in warm weather he seldom wore a coat except on
+Sundays and on the Fourth of July, when he appeared in a well-kept,
+fresh-looking garment of bottle-green with large yellow buttons, a very
+long body, and a broad, short skirt.
+
+His wife, Martha, was a plump, notable, quiet, pleasant-faced woman,
+aged about fifty-five, but very old-fashioned in looks and ideas. During
+the morning, when she assisted her servant girl, Mrs. Jones wore a
+calico short gown, a stuff petticoat, and a check-apron, with a close
+muslin cap--in the afternoon her costume was a calico long gown, a white
+linen apron, and a thinner muslin cap with brown ribbon; and on Sundays
+a silk gown, a clear muslin apron, and a still thinner and much larger
+cap trimmed with gray ribbon. Everything about them had an air of homely
+comfort, and they lived plainly and substantially. Peter brought home
+every morning on his arm an amply-filled market basket; but on Sundays
+their girl was always seen, before church time, carrying to the baker's
+a waiter containing a large dish that held a piece of meat mounted on a
+trivet with abundance of potatoes around and beneath, and also a huge
+pudding in a tin pan.
+
+Peter Jones, who proportioned all his expenses so as to keep an even
+balance, allowed himself and his wife to go once in the season to the
+theatre, and that was on the anniversary of their wedding, an event of
+which he informed his neighbours he had never found cause to repent.
+This custom had been commenced the first year of their marriage, and
+continued ever since; and as their plays were few and far between, they
+enjoyed them with all the zest of novices in the amusement. To them
+every actor was good, and every play was excellent; the last being
+generally considered the best. They were not sufficiently familiar with
+the drama to be fastidious in their taste; and happily for them, they
+were entirely ignorant of both the theory and practice of criticism. To
+them a visit to the theatre was a great event; and on the preceding
+afternoon the neighbours always observed symptoms of restlessness in
+Peter, and a manifest disinclination to settle himself to anything.
+Before going to bed, he regularly, on the eve of this important day,
+went round to the theatre to look at the bills that are displayed in the
+vestibule a night in advance; being too impatient to wait for the
+announcement in the morning papers. When the play-day actually came, he
+shut up his shop at noon, and they had an earlier and better dinner than
+usual. About three, Peter appeared in full dress with a ruffled shirt
+and white cravat, wandering up and down the pavement, going in and out
+at the front-door, singing, whistling, throwing up his stick and
+catching it, stopping every one he knew, to have a talk with them on
+theatricals, and trying every device to while away the intervening
+hours. At four, the tea-table was set, that they might get over the
+repast in good time, and, as Mrs. Jones said, "have it off their minds."
+
+The play-day was late in the spring, and near the close of the season;
+and while the sun was yet far above the horizon, Mr. and Mrs. Jones
+issued from their door, and walked off, arm-in-arm, with that peculiar
+gait that people always adopt when going to the theatre: he swinging his
+clouded cane with its ivory top and buckskin tassel, and she fanning
+herself already with a huge green fan with black sticks; and ambling
+along in her best shoes and stockings, and her annual silk gown, which,
+on this occasion, she always put on new.
+
+As they went but once a year, they determined on doing the thing
+respectably, and on having the best possible view of the stage;
+therefore they always took seats in an upper front box. Arriving so
+early, they had ample time to witness the gradual filling of the house,
+and to conjecture who was coming whenever a box door was thrown open. To
+be sure, Peter had frequent recourse to his thick, heavy, but unerring
+silver watch, and when he found that it still wanted three quarters of
+an hour of the time for the curtain to rise, his wife sagely remarked to
+him that it was better to be even two hours too early than two minutes
+too late; and that they might as well get over the time in sitting in
+the play-house as in sitting at home. Their faces always brightened
+exceedingly when the musicians first began to emerge from the subterrany
+below, and took their places in the orchestra. Mrs. Jones pitied
+extremely those that were seated with their backs to the stage, and
+amusing herself with counting the fiddles, and observing how gradually
+they diminished in size from the bass viol down; till her husband
+explained to her that they diminished up rather than down, the smallest
+fiddle being held by the boss or foreman of the band. Great was their
+joy (and particularly that of Peter), when the increasing loudness of
+the instruments proclaimed that the overture was about to finish; when
+glimpses of feet appearing below the green curtain, denoted that the
+actors were taking their places on the stage, when the welcome tingle of
+the long-wished-for bell turned their eyes exultingly to the upward
+glide of the barrier that had so long interposed between them and
+felicity.
+
+Many a listless and fastidious gentleman, having satiated himself with
+the theatre by the nightly use of a season ticket (that certain
+destroyer of all relish for dramatic amusements), might have envied in
+our plain and simple-minded mechanic the freshness of sensation, the
+unswerving interest, and the unqualified pleasure with which he regarded
+the wonders of the histrionic world.
+
+To watch Peter Jones at his annual play was as amusing as to look at the
+performance itself (and sometimes much more so), such was his earnest
+attention, and his vivid enjoyment of the whole; as testified by the
+glee of his laugh, the heartiness of his applause, and the energy with
+which he joined in an encore. If it chanced to be a tragedy, he consoled
+his wife in what she called the "forepart of her tears," by reminding
+her that it was only a play; but as the pathos of the scene increased,
+he always caught himself first wiping his eyes with the back of his
+hand; then blowing his nose, trumpetwise, with his clean bandanna
+pocket-handkerchief; and then calling himself a fool for crying. Like
+Addison's trunk-maker, he frequently led the clap; and on Peter Jones's
+night there was certainly more applause than usual. The kindness of his
+heart, however, would never allow him to join in a hiss, assuring those
+about him that the actors and the play-writers always did their best,
+and that if they failed it was their misfortune, and not their fault.
+
+That all the old observances of the theatre might be duly observed, he
+failed not to produce between the play and farce an ample supply of what
+children denominate "goodies," as a regale for Mrs. Jones and himself;
+also presenting them all round to every one within his reach; and if
+there were any little boys and girls in the vicinity, he always produced
+a double quantity.
+
+It is unnecessary to say that Mr. and Mrs. Jones always stayed to the
+extreme last; not quitting their seats till the curtain had descended to
+the very floor, and shut from their view, for another year, the bows
+and curtsies of the actors at the final of the _finale_ in the
+concluding scene of the after-piece. Then our happy old couple walked
+leisurely home, and had a supper of cold meat and pickles, and roasted
+potatoes; and talked of the play over the supper-table; and also over
+the breakfast-table next morning; and also to all their acquaintances
+for a month or two afterwards.
+
+In those days, when Peter Jones found the enjoyment of one play
+sufficient to last him a twelvemonth, the Philadelphia theatre was in
+its "high and palmy state." There was an excellent stock company, with a
+continual succession of new pieces, or judicious revivals of old ones of
+standard worth. The starring system, as it is called, did not then
+prevail. The performers, having permanent engagements, were satisfied to
+do their duty towards an audience with whose tastes they were familiar.
+Each actor could play an infinite number of parts--each singer could
+sing an infinity of songs--and all considered it a portion of their
+business to learn new characters, or new music.
+
+Having seen Mr. Bluster in Hamlet, Pierre, and Romeo, we were not
+expected, after a short interval, to crowd again to the theatre to
+applaud Mr. Fluster in Romeo, Pierre, and Hamlet. Having laughed
+sufficiently at Mr. Skipabout in Young Rapid, Bob Handy, and Rover, we
+were not then required, in the lapse of a few weeks, to laugh likewise
+at Mr. Tripabout in Rover, Bob Handy, and Young Rapid. Also, if we had
+been properly enraptured with Madam Dagolini Dobson in Rosina and
+Rosetta, we were not compelled, almost immediately, to re-prepare our
+_bravos_ and _bravissimas_ for Madame Jomellini Jobson in Rosetta and
+Rosina.
+
+The list of acting plays was not then reduced to about five comedies,
+and six tragedies; served out night after night, not in the alternate
+variety of one of each sort successively, but with a course of tragedy
+for a hero of the buskin, and a course of comedy for the fortunate man
+that was able to personate a lively _gentleman_. Neither were the lovers
+of vocal harmony obliged to content themselves with the perpetual
+repetition of four musical pieces, regularly produced, "when certain
+stars shot madly from their spheres" in the brilliant and _recherché_
+opera-houses of Europe (where princes and kings pay for a song in
+diamonds), to waste their glories on yankees, buckeyes, and tuckahoes,
+whose only idea of pay is in the inelegant form of things called
+dollars.
+
+It is true that in those days the machinery and decorations of the
+Philadelphia stage, and the costume of the actors, were far inferior to
+the _materiel_ of the present time; but there was always a regular
+company of sterling excellence, the pieces were various and well
+selected, and the audience was satisfied.
+
+Years had passed on, and Peter and Martha Jones were still "keeping the
+even tenor of their way," and enjoying the anniversary play with all
+their might, when a house on the other side of the street was taken by a
+respectable hair-dresser, whose window soon exhibited all the emblems of
+his profession, arranged with peculiar taste, and among them an unusual
+assortment of wigs for both sexes.
+
+Now, if Mrs. Jones had a failing (and who is perfect), it was in
+indulging a sort of anti-barber prejudice, very unaccountable,
+certainly--but so are most prejudices. This induced her rather to
+discourage all demonstrations of her husband's usual disposition to make
+acquaintance with the new neighbours, whom she set down in her own mind
+as "queer people"--a very comprehensive term. To be sure, Mr. Dodcomb's
+looks and deportment differed not materially from those of any other
+hair-dresser; but Peter Jones could not help agreeing that the
+appearance of his family were much at variance with the imputed virtues
+of the numerous beautifying specifics that were set forth in his shop.
+For instance, notwithstanding the infallibility of his lotions and
+emollients, and creams and pastes, the face and neck of Mrs. Dodcomb
+obstinately persisted in remaining wrinkled, yellow, speckled, and
+spotty. And in spite of Macassar oil, and bear's oil, and other certain
+promoters of luxuriant, soft, and glossy tresses, her locks continued
+scanty, stringy, stiff, and disorderly. By-the-bye, though there were
+"plenty more in the shop," she always wore a comb whose teeth were "few
+and far between."
+
+Though Mr. Dodcomb professed to cut hair in a style of unrivalled
+elegance, the hair of his children was sheared to the quick, their heads
+looking nearly as bald as if shaved with a razor; and this phrenological
+display was rather unbecoming to the juvenile Dodcombs, as their ears
+were singularly prominent and donkey-like. Then as to skin, the faces of
+the boys were sadly freckled, and those of the girls surprisingly coarse
+and rough.
+
+Mrs. Jones came to a conclusion that their new neighbour must be a
+remarkably close man, and unwilling to waste any of his stock in trade
+upon his own family; and Peter thought it would be more politic in Mr.
+Dodcomb to use his wife and children as pattern cards, exhibiting on
+their heads and faces the success of his commodities; which Mrs. Jones
+unamiably suspected to be all trash and trickery, and far inferior to
+plain soap and water.
+
+Things were in this state when election day came; and on the following
+morning Mr. Dodcomb came over to look at Mr. Jones's newspaper, and see
+the returns of the city and county; complaining that ever since he had
+lived in the neighbourhood, his own paper had been shamefully purloined
+from the handle of the door so early as before the shop was open. To
+steal a newspaper appeared to honest Peter the very climax of felony,
+for, as he said, it was stealing a man's sense and knowledge; and, being
+himself the earliest riser in the neighbourhood, he volunteered to watch
+for the offender. This he did by rising with the first blush of dawn,
+and promenading the pavement, stick in hand. It was not long before he
+discovered the abstractor in the person of an ever-briefless lawyerling,
+belonging to the only family in the neighbourhood who professed
+aristocracy, and discountenanced Peter Jones. And our indignant old hero
+saw "the young gentleman of rank" issue scarcely half dressed from his
+own door, pounce rapidly upon the newspaper, and carry it off. "Stop
+thief!--stop thief!" was loudly vociferated by Peter, who, brandishing
+his stick, made directly across the street, and the astonished culprit
+immediately dropped the paper, and took refuge in his own patrician
+mansion.
+
+As soon as the Dodcomb house was opened, Peter Jones went over with the
+trophy of his success. Mr. Dodcomb was profuse of thanks, making some
+remarkably handsome speeches on the occasion, and Peter went home and
+assured his wife that, though a barber, their new neighbour was a very
+clever man and well worth knowing. Mrs. Jones immediately saw things in
+their proper light, did not perceive that the Dodcombs were at all
+queerer than other people, concluded that they had a right to look as
+they pleased, and imputed their indifference to hair and cosmetics to
+the probability that they were surfeited with the sight of both; as
+confectioners never eat cakes, and shoemakers' families are said to go
+barefoot.
+
+The same evening, Mrs. Jones accompanied her husband to make a
+neighbourly visit to the Dodcombs, whom, to their great surprise, they
+found to be extremely _au-fait_ of the theatre; Mr. Dodcomb being barber
+to that establishment, and his sister-in-law, Miss Sarah Ann Flimbrey,
+one of the dressmakers.
+
+The progress of the intimacy between the Jones and Dodcomb families now
+increased rapidly, making prodigious strides every day. By the next
+week, which was the beginning of January, they had made up a party to go
+together to the theatre on New Year's night; Peter Jones having been
+actually and wonderfully over-persuaded to break through his
+time-honoured custom of going but once a twelvemonth. The Dodcombs had
+an irregular way of seeing the plays from between the scenes, from the
+flies over the stage, and from all other inconvenient and uncomfortable
+places where they could slip in "by virtue of their office;" but on New
+Year's night they always went in form, taking a front box up stairs,
+that their children might have an uninterrupted view of the whole show;
+Mr. Dodcomb on that evening employing a deputy to arrange the heads of
+the performers.
+
+Early on New Year's morning, Peter Jones put into the hands of his
+neighbour two dollars, to pay for the tickets of himself and wife; and
+during the remainder of the day (which, fortunately for him, was at this
+season a very short one) he had his usual difficulty in getting through
+the time.
+
+It was in vain that the Joneses were dressed at an early hour and had
+their usual early tea. The Dodcombs (to whom the theatre was no novelty)
+did not hurry with _their_ preparations, and on Peter going over to see
+if they were ready, he found them all in their usual dishabille, and
+their maid just beginning to set the tea-table. That people (under any
+circumstances) could be so dilatory with a play in prospect, presented
+to the mind of the astonished Peter a new view of the varieties of the
+human species. But as all things must have an end, so at last had the
+tea-drinking of the Dodcombs; and luckily their toilets did not occupy
+much time, for they only put themselves in full dress from their waist
+upward; to the great surprise of Mrs. Jones, who was somewhat
+scandalized at their oldish shoes and dirtyish stockings.
+
+To the utter dismay of the Joneses, the curtain, for the first time in
+their lives, was up when they arrived; and to this misfortune the
+Dodcombs did not seem to attach the least consequence, assuring them
+that in losing the first scene of a play they lost nothing.
+
+The five children were ranged in front, each of the three girls wearing
+a rose-bud on one side of her closely trimmed head, which rose-bud, as
+Mrs. Jones afterwards averred to her husband, must have been stuck there
+and held in its place by some hocus pocus, which no one but a play-house
+barber could contrive or execute. During the progress of the play, which
+was a melo-drama of what is called "thrilling interest," Peter Jones,
+who always himself paid the most exemplary attention to the scene before
+him, was annoyed to find that his wife was continually drawn in to talk,
+by the example of Mrs. Dodcomb and Miss Flimbrey, one of whom sat on
+each side of her, and who both kept up a running fire of questions,
+answers, and remarks during the whole of the performance--plays, as they
+said, being mere drugs to them.
+
+"How do you like that scarlet and gold dress?" said Mrs. Dodcomb.
+
+"Oh! it's beautiful!" replied Mrs. Jones, "and he's a beautiful man that
+wears it! What handsome legs he has?--and what a white neck for a
+man!--and such fine curly hair--"
+
+"You would not say so," said Mrs. Dodcomb, "if you were to see him in
+daylight without his paint, and without his chestnut wig (they have all
+sorts of wigs, even flax, tow, and yarn). His natural face and hair are
+both of the same clay-colour. As to his neck, it's nothing when it is
+not coated all over with whitening--and then his stage legs are always
+padded."
+
+"Mr. Jones, you are a judge of those things--what do you suppose that
+man's dress is made of?" asked Mr. Dodcomb.
+
+"Scarlet cloth and gold lace."
+
+"Fudge! it's only red flannel, trimmed with copper binding."
+
+"I'm sorry to hear that," observed Mrs. Jones--and during the remainder
+of the piece she designated him as "the man in the flannel jacket."
+
+"That's a pretty hat of his sweetheart's," she remarked, "that gauze hat
+with the long white feathers--how light and airy it looks!"
+
+Miss Flimbrey now giggled. "I made it myself, this morning," said she,
+"it's only thin catgut, with nothing at all outside--but at a distance,
+it certainly may be taken for transparent gauze."
+
+From this time Mrs. Jones distinguished the actress as "the woman with
+the catgut hat."
+
+The hero of the piece appeared in a new and magnificent dress, which was
+very much applauded, as new and showy dresses frequently are. It was a
+purple velvet, decorated profusely with gold ornaments, somewhat
+resembling rows of very large buttons; each button being raised or
+relieved in the centre, and having a flat rim round the edge. They went
+up all the seams of the back, and down the front of the jacket, and
+round the cuffs; and, being very bright and very close together, the
+effect was rich and unique. Also, one of them fastened the plume and
+looped up the hat, and two others glittered in the rosettes of the
+shoes.
+
+"Oh! how grand!--how very grand!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones. "This dress
+beats all the others!"
+
+"Upon my word, that trimming is fine," said Peter.
+
+"Ain't they big gold buttons, put very close together?" asked his wife.
+
+"Why, no," replied Peter. "They ain't buttons at all--not one of them.
+Surely I ought to know buttons, when they _are_ buttons. I can't make
+out these things exactly. But they're handsome, however."
+
+Mr. Dodcomb now began to laugh. "I'll tell you," said he, "the history
+of these new-fashioned ornaments. It was a bright idea of the actor's
+own when he was planning his new dress. He went to one of the great
+hardware stores in Market Street, and bought I don't know how many gross
+of those shining covers that are put over the screw-holes of bedsteads
+to hide the screws, and that are fastened on by a small thing at the top
+of each, like a loop, having a hole for a little screw, to fix them
+tight in their places. And these holes in the loops were just convenient
+for the needle to go through when they were sewed on to the dress. So
+you see what a good show they make now."
+
+"Of all contrivances!" exclaimed Peter. "To think that bed-screw covers
+should trim so well!"
+
+"Wonders will never cease!" ejaculated Mrs. Jones. And whenever the
+actor reappeared, she jogged her husband, and reminded him that "here
+came the man all over bed-screws."
+
+"What beautiful lace cuffs and collars all those gentlemen have, that
+are gallanting the ladies to the feast!" said Mrs. Jones.
+
+"Cut paper, my dear--only cut paper," replied Mrs. Dodcomb. "Sally
+Flimbrey cuts them out herself--don't you, Sally?"
+
+Miss Flimbrey (who was not proud), nodded in the affirmative--"You would
+never guess," said she, "my dear Mrs. Jones, what odd contrivances they
+have--did you observe the milk-maid's pail in the cottage scene?"
+
+"Yes--it was full to the brim of fine frothy new milk--I should like to
+have taken a drink of it."
+
+"You would have found it pretty hard to swallow, for it was only cotton
+wadding," said Miss Flimbrey.
+
+"Well now! if ever I heard the beat of that!" interjected Mrs. Jones.
+
+"How do you like the thunder and lightning?" said Mr. Dodcomb to Mr.
+Jones.
+
+"It's fine," replied Peter, "and very natural."
+
+"I'll tell you what it is," replied Dodcomb, "the lightning is made by
+sprinkling a handful of powdered rosin into a ladle heated over a pan of
+charcoal. A man stands between the scenes and does it whenever a flash
+is wanted. The thunder is produced by a pair of cannon balls joined
+across a bar to which is fixed a long wooden handle like the tongue of a
+child's basket wagon, and by this the balls are pushed and hauled about
+the floor behind the back scene."
+
+"Astonishing!" exclaimed Mr. Jones. "But the rattling of the
+rain--_that_ sounds just as if it was real."
+
+"The rain!" answered Mr. Dodcomb. "Oh, the rain is done by a tall wooden
+case, something on the plan of a great hour glass, lined with tin and
+filled half full with small shot, which when the case is set on end,
+dribbles gradually down and rattles as it falls."
+
+"Dear me," ejaculated Mrs. Jones, "what a wonderful thing is knowledge
+of the stage! I never _shall_ see a thunder-gust again (at the
+play-house, I mean) without thinking all the time of rosin and ladles,
+and cannon balls with long handles, and the dribbling of shot."
+
+"Then for snow," pursued Mr. Dodcomb, "they snip up white paper into
+shreds, and carry it up to the flies or beams and rafters above the
+stage, and scatter it down by handfuls."
+
+"You don't say so!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones--
+
+"Well--now the storm is over," said Mrs. Dodcomb, "and here is a castle
+scene by moonlight."
+
+"And a very pretty moon it is," observed Mrs. Jones, "all solemn and
+natural."
+
+"Not very solemn to me," said Mr. Dodcomb, "as I know it to be a bit of
+oiled linen let into a round hole in the back scene, with a candle put
+behind it."
+
+"Wonders will never cease!" ejaculated Mrs. Jones. "And there's an owl
+sitting up in that old tumble-down tower--how natural he blinks!"
+
+"Yes," said Mr. Dodcomb, "his eyes are two doors, with a string to each;
+and a man climbs up behind, and keeps jerking the doors open and letting
+them shut again--that's the way to make an owl blink. But here comes the
+bleeding ghost, that wanders about the ruins by moonlight."
+
+The children all drew back a little, and looked somewhat frightened; it
+happening to be the first ghost they had ever seen.
+
+"Dear me!" said Mrs. Jones, drawing her shawl closely round her, "what
+an awful sight a ghost is, even when we know it's only a play-actor!
+This one seem to have no regular clothes, but only those white fly-away
+things--how deadly pale it is--and just look at the blood, how it keeps
+streaming down all the time from that great gash in the breast!"
+
+"As to the paleness," explained Miss Flimbrey, "it's only that the face
+is powdered thick all over with flour; and as to what looks to you like
+blood, it's nothing but red ribbon, gathered a little full at the top
+where the wound is, and the ends left long to flow down the white
+drapery."
+
+"Why this beats all the rest!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones, "Well--I never
+_shall_ see a bloody ghost again without thinking of meal and red
+ribbon."
+
+Previous to the last act of the melo-drama, a man belonging to the
+theatre came and called Mr. Dodcomb out of the box to ask him if he
+would be so obliging as to go on the stage for a senator in the trial
+scene, one of the big boys that usually assisted in making out this
+august assemblage having unexpectedly run away and gone to sea. Mr.
+Dodcomb (who was not entirely unused to lending himself to similar
+emergencies) kindly consented; and, after returning to whisper the
+circumstance to his wife, he slipped out unobserved by the rest of the
+party. When the drop-curtain again rose, eight or ten senators, with
+venerable white wigs, were seen sitting in a sort of pews, and wearing
+pink robes and ermine capes; which ermine, according to Miss Flimbury,
+was only white paper spotted over with large regular splotches of ink at
+equal distances.
+
+Presently, on recognising their beloved parent among the conscript
+fathers, the Dodcomb children became rather too audible in expressing
+their delight, exclaiming: "Oh! there's pappy. Only see pappy on the
+stage. Don't pappy look funny?"
+
+The pit-people looked up, and the box-people looked round, and Mrs.
+Dodcomb tried to silence the children by threats of making them go home.
+Peter Jones quieted them directly by stopping their mouths with cakes
+from his well-stored pocket; thus anticipating the treat he had provided
+for them as a regale between the play and after-piece.
+
+The scene over, Mr. Dodcomb speedily got rid of his senatorial costume,
+and returned to the box in _propriâ personâ_, where he was loudly
+greeted by his children, each insisting on being "the one that first
+found out their pappy among the men in wigs and gowns."
+
+"Well if ever!" exclaimed Mr. Jones. "There's no knowing what good's
+before us! Little did we expect when we came here to-night, that we
+should be sitting here in the same box with anybody that ever acted on
+the stage. I am so glad."
+
+The after-piece was the Forty Thieves, which Peter and Mrs. Jones had
+never seen before, and which had extraordinary charms for the old man,
+who in his youth had been well versed in the Arabian Tales. Giving
+himself up, as he always did, to the illusion of the scene, he could
+well have dispensed with the explanations of the Dodcombs, who began by
+informing Mrs. Jones that the fairy Ardanelle, though in her
+shell-formed car she seemed to glide through the water, was in reality
+pulled along by concealed men with concealed ropes.
+
+When the equestrian robbers appeared one by one galloping across the
+distant mountains, and Mrs. Jones had carefully counted them all to
+ascertain that there was the full complement of exactly forty, Miss
+Flimbrey laughed, and assured her that in reality there were only three,
+one mounted on a black, one on a bay, and one on a white horse, but they
+passed round and appeared again, till the precise number was
+accomplished. "And the same thing," said she, "is always done when an
+army marches across the stage, so that a few soldiers are made to seem
+like a great many."
+
+"You perceive, Mrs. Jones," said Mr. Dodcomb, "these robbers that ride
+over the distant mountains are not the real men; but both man and horse
+is nothing more than a flat thin piece of wood painted and cut out."
+
+On Peter remarking that there was certainly a look of life or reality in
+the near leg of each rider as it was thrown over the saddle, Mr. Dodcomb
+explained that each of these equestrian figures was carried by a man
+concealed behind, and that one arm of the man was thrust through an
+aperture at the top of the painted saddle; the arm that hung over so as
+to personate a leg, being dressed in a Turkish trowser, with a boot
+drawn on the hand.
+
+"Do you mean," said Peter, "that these men run along the ridge, each
+carrying a horse under his arm?"
+
+"Exactly so," replied Dodcomb, "the horse and rider of painted board
+being so arranged as to hide the carrier."
+
+"Well--I never did hear anything so queer," said Mrs. Jones, "I wonder
+how they can keep their countenances. But, there are so many queer
+things about play-acting. Dear me! what a pug-nose that cobbler has! Let
+me look at the bill and see who he is--why I saw the same man in the
+play, and his nose was long and straight."
+
+"Oh! when he wants a snub nose," replied Miss Flimbrey, "he ties up the
+end with a single horse-hair fastened round his forehead, and the horse
+hair is too fine to be seen by the audience."
+
+During the scene in which Morgiana destroys the thieves, one at a time,
+by pouring a few drops of the magic liquid into the jars in which they
+are hidden, Mrs. Jones found out of her own accord that the jars were
+only flat pieces of painted board; but Mrs. Dodcomb made her observe
+that as each of the dying bandits uttered distinctly his own separate
+groan, the sound was in reality produced from the orchestra, by he of
+the bass viol giving his bow a hard scrub across the instrument.
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Jones on her way home, "now that my eyes are opened, I
+must say there is a great deal of deception in plays."
+
+"To be sure there is," replied Peter, "and that we knew all along, or
+might have known if we had thought about it; but people that go to the
+theatre only once a year are quite willing to take things as they see
+them; and they have pleasure enough in the play itself and in what
+passes before their eyes, without wondering or caring about the
+contrivances behind the scenes. I never supposed their finery to be
+real, or their handsome looks either; but that was none of our business,
+as long as they appeared well to us--I said nothing to _you_, for I know
+if you were once put on the scent, you would be the whole time trying to
+find out their shams and trickeries."
+
+Next morning, while talking over the play in Peter's shop, Mr. Dodcomb
+kindly volunteered to procure for him and Mrs. Jones, bones or orders
+from the managers or chief performers, that would insure a gratuitous
+admission. Peter, much as he liked plays, demurred awhile about availing
+himself of this neighbourly offer, but the urgency of his wife prevailed
+on him to consent; and a day or two after, Mr. Dodcomb put into his hand
+two circular pieces of lettered ivory, which on giving them to the
+doorkeeper admitted Mr. and Mrs. Jones to the house for that evening;
+and thus, for the first time in their lives, they found themselves at
+the theatre twice in one week.
+
+In this manner they went again and again; and a visit to the theatre
+soon ceased to be an event. It was no longer eagerly anticipated, and
+minutely remembered. The sight of one play almost effaced the
+recollection of another. The edge of novelty was fast wearing off, and
+the sense of enjoyment becoming blunted in proportion. Weariness crept
+upon them with satiety, and they sometimes even went home before the
+concluding scene of the farce, and at last they did not even stay to see
+the first. Often they caught themselves nodding shamefully during the
+most moral and instructive dialogues of sentimental comedy, and they
+actually slept a duett through the four first acts of the Gamester, in
+which, however, they were accompanied by a large portion of the
+audience.
+
+Their friends the Dodcombs escorted them one afternoon all through the
+interior of the theatre, so that they obtained a full comprehension of
+the whole paraphernalia, with all its illusions and realities; and of
+this knowledge Mrs. Jones made ample use in her comments at night during
+the performance.
+
+As Peter's enjoyment of the drama grew less, he became more fastidious,
+particularly as to the ways and means that were employed to produce
+effect. He now saw the ridicule of the armies of the rival roses being
+represented by half a dozen men, who when they belonged to King Richard
+were distinguished by white stockings, but clapped on red ones when, in
+the next scene, they personated the forces of Richmond. The theatrical
+vision of our hero being cleared and refined, he ceased to perceive a
+moving forest when the progress of Birnam Wood to Dunsinane was
+represented by six or seven men in plaid kilts, each holding up before
+his face, fan-wise, a little bunch of withered pine twigs. He now
+discovered that the proper place for the ghost of Banquo was a seat at
+the table of his murderer, in the midst of the company, and not on a
+modern parlour chair, set conspicuously by itself near one of the stage
+doors. He also perceived that in Antony's oration over Cæsar, the Roman
+populace was illy represented by one boyish-looking, smooth-faced young
+man (plebeians must have been strangely scarce) who at the words, "Good
+friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up to sudden mutiny"--always
+made sundry futile attempts to look mutinous.[76]
+
+[Footnote 76: All these things the author has seen.]
+
+To conclude--in the course of that season and the next, Peter Jones and
+his wife by dint of bones and Dodcombs, became so familiar with
+theatricals that they ceased entirely to enjoy them; and it finally
+became a sort of task to go, and a greater task to sit through the play.
+
+Mrs. Jones thought that the old actors had all fallen off, and that the
+new ones were not so good as the old ones; but her more sagacious
+husband laid the fault to the right cause, which was, "that plays were
+now a drug to them."
+
+The Dodcombs removed to New York, and the Joneses gave up without regret
+the facilities of free admission to the theatre. After a lapse of two
+years, they determined to resume their old and long-tested custom of
+seeing one single play at the close of the season, and on the
+anniversary of their wedding. But the charm was broken, the illusion was
+destroyed; the keenness of their relish was palled by satiety, and could
+revive no more.
+
+In a less humble sphere of life, and in circumstances of far greater
+importance than the play-going of Peter Jones, how often is the
+long-cherished enjoyment of a temperate pleasure destroyed for ever by a
+short period of over-indulgence!
+
+
+
+
+THE OLD FARM-HOUSE.
+
+     "Her charm around, the enchantress Memory throws."--ROGERS.
+
+
+Edward Lindsay had recently returned from Europe, where a long series of
+years passed in the successful prosecution of a lucrative mercantile
+business, had gained for him an independence that in his own country
+would be considered wealth. Continuing in heart and soul an American, it
+was only in the land of his birth, that he could resolve to settle
+himself, and enjoy the fruits of well-directed enterprise, and almost
+uninterrupted good fortune.
+
+Early impressions are lasting; and among the images that frequently
+recurred to the memory of our hero, were those of a certain old
+farm-house in the interior of Pennsylvania, and its kind and
+simple-hearted inhabitants. The farmer, whose name was Abraham Hilliard,
+had been in the practice of occasionally bringing to Philadelphia a
+wagon-load of excellent marketing, and stopping with his team at the
+doors of several genteel families, his unfailing customers. It was thus
+that Mr. and Mrs. Lindsay obtained a knowledge of him, which eventually
+induced them to place in his house, as a boarder, their only surviving
+child Edward: that during the summer season, the boy, whose constitution
+was naturally delicate, might have a chance of acquiring confirmed
+health and hardihood, united with habits of self-dependence; it being
+clearly understood by all parties, that young Lindsay was to be treated,
+in every respect, like the farmer's own children. The experiment
+succeeded: and it was at Oakland Farm that Edward Lindsay's summers were
+chiefly spent from the age of eight to eighteen, at which time he was
+sent to Bordeaux, and placed in the counting-house of his maternal
+uncle. And twice when Philadelphia was visited by the malignant fever
+which in former years spread such terror through the city, and whose
+ravages were only checked by the return of cold weather, the anxious
+parents of our hero made him stay in the country till the winter had
+fairly set in.
+
+During his long residence in Europe, Edward Lindsay was so unfortunate
+as to lose both father and mother, and, therefore, his arrival in his
+native town was accompanied by many painful feelings. The bustle of the
+city, and the company into which the hospitality of his friends
+endeavoured to draw him, were not in accordance with his present state
+of mind, and he imagined that nothing would be more soothing to him than
+a visit to the country, and particularly to the place where so much of
+his boyhood had been passed. While his mother lived, she had frequently
+sent him tidings of his old friends at Oakland Farm, none of whom were
+letter writers; but since her death, they seemed to be lost sight of,
+and it was now many years since Edward had heard anything of them.
+
+Oakland Farm was not on a public road, and it was some miles remote from
+the route of any public conveyance. As the season was the close of
+spring, and the weather delightful, Lindsay determined to go thither on
+a fine horse that he had recently purchased; taking with him only a
+small valise, it being his intention to remain there but a few days.
+
+He set out in the afternoon, and passed the night at a tavern about ten
+miles from the city, formerly known as the Black Bear, but now dignified
+with the title of the Pennsylvania Hotel, expressed in immense gilt
+letters on a blue board above the door. Lindsay felt something like
+regret at the ejectment of his old acquaintance Bruin, who, proclaiming
+"Entertainment for Man and Horse," had swung so many years on a lofty
+sign-post under the shade of a great buttonwood tree, now cut down to
+make room for four slender Lombardy poplars, which, though out of favour
+in the city, had become fashionable in the country.
+
+We will pass over many other changes which our hero observed about the
+new-modelled inn, and accompany him as he pursued his way along the road
+which had been so familiar to him in his early youth, and which, though
+it retained many of its original features, had partaken greatly of the
+all-pervading spirit of improvement. The hills were still there. The
+beautiful creek, which in England would have been termed a river,
+meandered everywhere just as before, wide, clear, and deep; but its
+rude log bridges had now given place to substantial structures of
+masonry and wood-work, and he missed several well-known tracts of
+forest-land, of which the very stumps had long since been dislodged.
+
+His eye, for years accustomed to the small farms and miniature
+enclosures of Europe, now dwelt with delight on immense fields of grain
+or clover, each of them covering a whole hill, and frequently of such
+extent that a single glance could not take in their limits. He saw vast
+orchards that seemed to contain a thousand trees, now white with
+blossoms that, scattered by the slightest breeze, fell around them like
+showers of scented snow. He missed, it is true, the hawthorn hedges of
+England; those beautiful walls of verdure, whose only fault is that
+their impervious foliage shuts out from view the fields they enclose;
+while the open fences of America allow the stranger to regale his eye,
+and satisfy his curiosity with a free prospect of the country through
+which he is travelling.
+
+Oakland Farm, as we have said, lay some miles from the great highway,
+and Lindsay was glad to find with how much ease he recollected the
+turnings and windings of the by-roads. It even gave him pleasure to
+recognise a glen at the bottom of a ravine thickly shaded with crooked
+and moss-grown trees, where half a century ago a woman had been guilty
+of infanticide, and whose subsequent execution at the county town is
+talked of still; it being apparently as well remembered as an event of
+yesterday. The dogwood and the wild grape vine still canopied the fatal
+spot, for the thicket had never been cleared away, nor the ground
+cultivated. A little beyond, the road lay through a dark piece of woods
+that countrywomen, returning late from the store, were afraid to ride
+through after night-fall; as their horses always started and trembled
+and laid back their ears at the appearance of a mysterious white colt,
+which was frequently seen gamboling among the trees, and which no
+sensible people believed to be a real or living colt, as one horse is
+never frightened at the sight of another. Shortly after, our traveller
+stopped for a few moments to gaze at the transformation of a building on
+the verge of a creek. He had remembered it as a large old house
+chequered with bricks alternately blackish and reddish, and having dark
+red window-shutters with holes cut in them to admit the light; some of
+the apertures being in the form of hearts, others in the shape of
+crescents. There had been a red porch, and a red front door which for
+years had the inconvenient property of bursting open in the dead of
+night; at which time, a noise was always heard as of the hoofs of a calf
+trotting in the dark, about the rooms up stairs. This calf was finally
+spoken to by a very courageous stranger, who inquired its name. The calf
+made not a word of answer, but from that night was heard no more. This
+house, being now painted yellow, and the red shutters removed, had been
+altered into an establishment for carding and spinning wool, as was
+evident by surrounding indications, and by the noise of the machinery,
+which could be heard plainly as far as the road. Lindsay began to fear
+that he should never again see Polly Nichols, a tall, gaunt,
+hard-featured spinning girl, whose untiring strength and immoveable
+countenance, as she ran all day at the "big wheel," had often amazed
+him, and whom Mrs. Hilliard considered as the princess of wool-spinners.
+His conscience reproached him with having one day, while she was at
+dinner, mischievously stolen the wheel-finger of the said Polly Nichols,
+and hidden it in the dough trough, thereby occasioning a long search to
+the industrious damsel, and the loss of an hour's spinning to Mrs.
+Hilliard.
+
+He next came to the old well-known meeting-house, embosomed in large
+elms of aboriginal growth. He saw it as in former days, with its long
+range of stalls for the horses of the congregation, and its square
+horse-blocks at the gate with steps ascending on all their four sides,
+to which the country beaux gallantly led up the steeds of the country
+belles. Just beyond the meeting-house, he looked in vain for a
+well-known little brook, distinguished of old as "Blue Woman's Run," and
+which had formerly crossed the road, murmuring over its bed of pebbles.
+It had derived this cognomen from the singular apparition of a woman in
+a blue gown, with a pail of water on her head, which had on several
+Sundays boldly appeared even in the brightness of the noon-day sun, and
+was seen walking fearlessly among the "meeting folks," and their horses,
+as they stopped to let them drink at the brook; coming no one knew from
+whence, and going no one knew where; but appearing and disappearing in
+the midst of them. But the streamlet was no longer there, diverted
+perhaps to some other channel, and the hollow of its bed was filled up
+and made level with the road.
+
+About two miles further, our hero looked out for a waste field at some
+distance from the road, and distinguished by an antique persimmon tree
+of unusual size. This field he had always known of a wild and desolate
+aspect, bristled with the tall stalks of the mullein. Here, according to
+tradition, had once lived a family of free negroes, probably runaways
+from the south. They had lost their children by an epidemic, buried them
+at the foot of the persimmon tree, and soon after quitted the
+neighbourhood. All vestiges of their hut had vanished long before Edward
+Lindsay had known the place, but the graves of the children might have
+been traced under the grass and weeds. The deserted field had the
+reputation of being haunted, because whoever had the temerity to cross
+it, even in broad daylight, never failed, that is if they had faith, to
+see the faces of two little black boys looking out from behind the tree,
+and laughing merrily. But on approaching the tree no black boys were
+there.
+
+There is considerable variety in American ghosts. In Europe these
+phantoms are nearly all of the same stamp: either tall white females
+that glide by moonlight among the ruined cloisters of old abbeys; or
+pale knights, in dark armour, that wander, at midnight, about the
+turrets and corridors of feudal castles. In our country, apparitions go
+as little by rule as their living prototypes; and are certainly very
+prosaic both in looks and ways.
+
+The old persimmon tree was still there; but the field had been
+cultivated, and was now in red clover, and Lindsay knew that mind had
+marched over it.
+
+He now came to a well-remembered place, the low one-story school-house
+under the shade of a great birch tree, whose twigs had been of essential
+service in the hands of Master Whackaboy, and whose smooth and
+paper-like bark was fashionable in the seminary for writing-pieces. The
+door and windows were open, and Lindsay expected as formerly, to hear
+the master say to his scholars, at the sound of horses' feet--"Read
+out--read out--strangers are going by--;" which order had always been
+succeeded by a chorus of readers as loud and inharmonious as what
+children call a Dutch Concert. As Lindsay passed the school-house, he
+could not forbear stopping a moment to look in; and instead of Bumpus
+Whackaboy in his round jacket, he saw a young gentleman in a frock coat,
+seated at the master's desk, with an aspect of great satisfaction, while
+a lad stood before him frowning and stamping desperately, and reciting
+Collins's Ode on the Passions.
+
+Our traveller now perceived by certain well-remembered landmarks, that
+he was approaching the mill in whose scales he had frequently been
+weighed: a ceremony never omitted at the close of his annual visit to
+Oakland, that he might go home rejoicing in the number of pounds he had
+gained during his sojourn in the salubrious air and homely abundance of
+the farm. When he came to the place, he found three mills; and he was,
+for a while, puzzled to recollect which of them was his old
+acquaintance. On the other side of the road were now a tavern, a store,
+and a blacksmith's shop, with half a dozen dwelling-houses. "This, I
+suppose, is an incipient city," thought Lindsay--and so it was, as he
+afterwards found: the name being Candyville, in consequence, perhaps, of
+the people of the neighbourhood having left off tobacco and taken to
+mint-stick, for which, and other _bonbons_ of a similar character, the
+demand was so great that the storekeeper often found it necessary to
+take a journey to the metropolis chiefly for the purpose of bringing out
+a fresh supply.
+
+At length our hero came to a hill beyond which he recollected that a
+turn in the road would present to his view the house of Abraham
+Hilliard, as it stood on the very edge of the farm. It was a lovely
+afternoon. The sunbeams were dancing merrily on the creek, whose shining
+waters beautifully inverted its green banks, overshadowed with laurel
+bushes now in full bloom and covered with large clusters of delicate
+pink flowers.
+
+He saw the top of the enormous oak that stood in front of the house, and
+which had been spared for its size and beauty, when the ground was first
+redeemed from the primeval forest by the grandfather of the present
+proprietor.
+
+Lindsay turned into the lane. What was his amazement when he saw not, as
+he expected, the well-known farm-house and its appurtenances!--It was no
+longer there. The dilapidated ruins of the chimney alone were standing,
+and round them lay a heap of rubbish. He stopped his horse and gazed
+long and sadly, on finding all his pleasant anticipations turned at once
+to disappointment. Finally he dismounted, and securing his bridle to a
+large nail which yet remained in the trunk of the old tree, having been
+placed there for that purpose, he proceeded to take a nearer view of
+what had once been the Oakland Farm-House.
+
+There were indications of the last fire that had ever gladdened the
+hearth, the charred remains of an immense backlog, now half hidden
+beneath a luxuriant growth of the dusky and ragged-leaved Jamestown
+weed. In a corner of the hearth grew a sumach that bid fair in a short
+time to overtop all that was left of the chimney. These corners had once
+been furnished with benches on which the children used to sit and amuse
+themselves with stories and riddles, in the cold autumnal evenings, when
+fires are doubly cheerful from being the first of the season.
+
+Of the long porch in which they had so often played by moonlight,
+nothing now remained but a few broken and decaying boards with grass and
+plantain-weeds growing among them; and some relics of the rough stone
+steps that had ascended to it, now displaced and fallen aside by the
+caving in of the earth behind.
+
+The well that had supplied the family with cold water for drinking, had
+lost its cover--the sweep had fallen down, and the bucket and chain were
+gone. The dark cool cellar was laid open to the light of day, and was
+now a deep square pit, overgrown with thistles and toad-flax.
+
+From the cracks of the old clay oven that had belonged to the chimney
+(and which was now half hidden in pokeberry plants), issued tufts of
+chick-weed; and when Lindsay looked into the place which he had so often
+seen filled with pies and rice-puddings, the glare of bright eyes and a
+rustling noise denoted that some wild animal had made its lair in the
+cavity. Suddenly a large gray fox sprung out of the oven-mouth, and ran
+fearfully past him into the thicket. Lindsay thought in a moment of the
+often-quoted lines of Ossian.
+
+At the foot of the little eminence on which the house was situated,
+there had formerly been what its inhabitants called the _harbour_
+(probably a corruption of arbour), a shed rudely constructed of poles
+interwoven with branches, and covered with a luxuriant gourd-vine. Here
+the milk-pans and pails were washed, and much of the "slopping-work" of
+the family done in the summer. A piece of rock formed the back-wall of a
+fire-place in which an immense iron pot had always hung. A slight
+water-gate opened from this place on a branch of the creek, over which a
+broad thick board had been laid as a bridge, and a short distance below
+there was a miniature cascade or fall, at which Edward, in his
+childhood, had erected a small wooden tilt-hammer of his own making; and
+the strokes of this tilt-hammer could be heard, to his great delight, as
+far as the house, particularly in the stillness of night, when the sound
+was doubly audible.
+
+The cauldron had now disappeared, leaving no trace but the blackened
+stone behind it; the remains of the water-gate were lying far up on the
+bank; the board had fallen into the water; the rude trellis was broken
+down; and masses of the gourd-vine, which had sprung from the scattered
+seeds, were running about in wild disorder wherever they could find
+anything to climb upon.
+
+Lindsay turned to the spot "where once the garden smiled," and found it
+a wilderness of tall and tangled weeds, interspersed with three or four
+degenerate hollyhocks, and a few other flowers that had sowed themselves
+and dwindled into insignificance. And in the division appropriated to
+culinary purposes, were some straggling vegetables that had returned to
+a state worse than indigenous--with half a dozen rambling bushes that
+had long since ceased to bear fruit.
+
+Lindsay had gazed on the gigantic remains of the Roman Coliseum, on "the
+castled crag of Drachenfels," and on the ivy-mantled arches of Tintern,
+but they awakened no sensation that could compare with the melancholy
+feeling that oppressed him as he explored the humble ruins of this
+simple farm-house, where every association came home to his heart,
+reminding him not of what he had read, but of what he had seen, and
+known, and felt, and enjoyed.
+
+As he stood with folded arms contemplating the images of desolation
+before him, his attention was diverted by the sound of footsteps, and,
+on looking round, he perceived an old negro coming down the road, with a
+basket in one hand, and in the other a jug corked with a corn-cob. The
+negro pulled off his battered wool-hat, and making a bow and a scrape,
+said: "Sarvant, masser--" and Lindsay, on returning his bow, recognised
+the unusual breadth of nose and width of mouth that had distinguished a
+free black, well known in the neighbourhood by the name of Pharaoh, and
+in whom the lapse of time had made no other alteration than that of
+bleaching his wool, which was now quite white.
+
+"Why, Pharaoh--my old fellow!" exclaimed Lindsay, "is this really
+yourself?"
+
+"Can't say, masser," replied Pharaoh. "All people's much the same. Best
+not be too personal. But I b'lieve I'm he."
+
+"Have you no recollection of Edward Lindsay?" inquired our hero.
+
+"Lawful heart, masser!" exclaimed the negro. "I do b'lieve you're little
+Neddy, what used to come from town and stay at old Abram Hilliard's of
+summers, and what still kept wisiting there, by times, till you goed
+over sea."
+
+"I am that identical Neddy," replied Lindsay, holding out his hand to
+the old negro, who evinced his delight by a series of loud laughs.
+
+"Yes--yes," pursued Pharaoh, "now I look sharper at you, masser, I see
+plain you're 'xactly he. You've jist a same nose, and a same eyes, and a
+same mouth, what you had when you tumbled down the well, and fall'd out
+the chestnut tree, and when you was peck'd hard by the big turkey-cock,
+and butted by the old ram."
+
+"Truly," said Lindsay, "you seem to have forgotten none of my juvenile
+disasters."
+
+"To be sure not," replied Pharaoh, "I 'member every one of them, and a
+heap more, only I don't want to be personal."
+
+"And now," said Lindsay, "as we have so successfully identified each
+other, let me know, at once, what has happened to my good friends the
+Hilliards, who I thought were fixed here for life. Why do I see their
+house a heap of ruins? Have the family been reduced to poverty?"
+
+"Lawful heart, no," exclaimed the negro: "Masser Neddy been away so long
+in foreign parts, he forget how when people here in 'Merica give up
+their old houses, it's a'most always acause they've got new ones. Now
+old Abram Hilliard he got richer and richer every minute--though I guess
+he was pretty rich when you know'd him, only he never let on. And so he
+build him fine stone house beyont his piece of oak-woods, and there he
+live this blessed day.--And we goes there quite another road.--And so he
+gove this old frame to old Pharaoh; and so I had the whole house carted
+off, all that was good of it, and put it up on the road-side, just
+beyont here, in place of my old tumble-down cabin what I used to live
+in, that I've altered into a pig-pen. So now me and Binkey am quite
+comfabull."
+
+"Show me the way," said Lindsay, "to the new residence of Mr. Hilliard.
+I have come from Philadelphia on purpose to visit the family."
+
+"Bless your heart, masser, for that," said the old negro, as he held the
+stirrup for Lindsay to mount; and walking by his side, he proceeded with
+the usual garrulity of the African race, to relate many particulars of
+the Hilliards and their transit.
+
+"Of course, Masser Neddy," said Pharaoh, "you 'member old Abram's two
+boys Isaac and Jacob, what you used to play with. You know Isaac mostly
+whipped you when you fout with him. Well, when they growed up, they
+thought they'd help'd their father long enough, and as they wanted right
+bad to go west, the old man gove 'em money to buy back land. So each
+took him horse--Isaac took Mike, and Jacob took Morgan, and they started
+west, and went to a place away back--away back--seven hundred thousand
+miles beyont Pitchburg. And they're like to get mighty rich; and word's
+come as Jacob's neighbours is going to set him up for congress, and I
+shouldn't be the least 'prized if he's presidump. You 'member, Masser
+Neddy, Jacob was always the tonguiest of the two boys."
+
+"And where are Mr. Hilliard's daughters?" asked Lindsay.
+
+"Oh, as to the two oldest," replied Pharaoh, "Kitty married Billy
+Pleasants, as keeps the store over at Candyville, and Betsey made a
+great match with a man what has a terrible big farm over on Siskahanna.
+And old Abram, after he got into him new house, sent him two youngest to
+the new school up at Wonderville, where they teaches the gals all sorts
+of wit and larning."
+
+"And how are your own wife and children, Pharaoh?" inquired Lindsay; "I
+remember them very well."
+
+"Bless your heart for that, masser!" replied the negro; "why Rose is
+hired at Abram Hilliard's--you know they brungt her up. And Cato lives
+out in Philadelphy--I wonders masser did not see him. And as for old
+Binkey, she holds her own pretty well. You know, masser, Binkey was
+always a great hand at quiltings, and weddings, and buryings, and such
+like frolics, and used to be sent for, high and low, to help cook at
+them times. But now she's a getting old,--being most a thousand,--and
+her birthday mostly comes on the forty-second of Feberwary--and so she
+stays at home, and makes rusk and gingerbread and molasses beer. This is
+molasses I have in the jemmy-john; I've jist come from the store. So she
+sells cakes and beer--that's the reason we lives on the road-side--and I
+works about. We used to have a sign that Sammy Spokes the wheelwright
+painted for us, for he was then the only man in these parts that had
+paints. There was two ginger-cakes on it, and one rusk, and a coal-black
+bottle with the beer spouting up high, and falling into a tumbler
+without ever spilling a drap. We were desperate pleased with the sign,
+for folks said it looked so nateral, and Sammy Spokes made us a present
+of it, and would not take it out in cakes and beer, as we wanted him,
+and that shewed him to be very much of a gemplan."
+
+"As no doubt he is," remarked Lindsay; "I find, since my return to
+America, that gentlemen are 'as plenty as blackberries.'"
+
+"You say very true, masser," rejoined the negro; "we are all gemplans
+now-a-days, and has plenty of blackberries. Well, as I was saying, we
+liked the sign a heap. But after Nelly Hilliard as was--we calls her
+Miss Ellen now--quit Wonderville school, where she learnt everything on
+the face of the yearth, she thought she would persecute painting at
+home, for she had a turn that way and wanted to keep her hand in. So she
+set to, and painted a new sign, and took it all out of her own head; and
+gove it to old Binkey and axplaned it to us. There's a thing on it that
+Miss Ellen calls a urn or wase--_that_ stands for beer--and then there's
+a sugarcane growing out of it--_that_ stands for molasses. And then
+there's a thick string of green leaves, with roots twisted amongst
+'em--_that_ answers for ginger, for she told us that ginger grows like
+any other widgable, and has stalks and leaves, but the root is what we
+uses. Yet, somehow, folks doesn't seem to understand this sign as well
+as the old one. A great many thinks the wase be an old sugar-dish with a
+bit of a corn-stalk sticking out of it, and some passley and hossreddish
+plastered on the outside, and say they should never guess cakes and beer
+by it."
+
+"I should suppose not," said Lindsay.
+
+"But, Masser Neddy," pursued the old negro, "all this time, we have been
+calling Abram Hilliard 'Abram,' instead of saying squire. Only think of
+old Abram; he has been made a squire this good while, and marries
+people. After he move into him new house, he begun to get high, and took
+to putting on a clean shirt and shaving every day, which Rose says was a
+pretty tough job with him at first; but he parsewered. And he's apt to
+have fresh meat whenever it's to be got, and he won't eat stale pies:
+and so they have to do small bakings every day, instead of big ones
+twice a week. And sometimes he even go so far as to have geese took out
+of the flock, and killed and roasted, instead of saving 'em all for
+feathers. And he says that now he's clear of the world, he _will_ live
+as he likes, and have everything he wants, and be quite comfabull. And
+he made his old woman leave off wearing short gownds, and put on long
+gownds all the time, and quit calling him daddy, which Rose says went
+very hard with her for a while. The gals being young, were broke of it
+easy enough; and now they says pappy."
+
+"Pshaw!" ejaculated Lindsay, whose regret at the general change which
+seemed to have come over the Hilliard family now amounted nearly to
+vexation.
+
+"Now, Masser Neddy," continued Pharaoh, "we've got to the new
+house--there it stands, right afore you. An't you 'prised at it? I
+always am whenever I sees it. So please a jump off, and I'll take your
+hoss to the stable, and put him up, and tell the people at the barn that
+Masser Neddy's come; and you can go into the house and speak for
+you'mself."
+
+Lindsay, at parting, put a dollar into the hand of the old negro. "What
+for this, Masser Neddy?" asked Pharaoh, trying to look very
+disinterested.
+
+"Do whatever you please with it," answered Lindsay.
+
+"Well, masser," replied the negro, "I never likes to hurt a gemplan's
+feelings by 'fusing him. So I'll keep it, just to 'blige you. But, I
+'spect, to be sure, Masser Neddy'll step in some day at negor-man's
+cabin, and see old Binkey, and take part of him dollar out in cakes and
+beer. I'll let masser know when Binkey has a fresh baking."
+
+Pharaoh then led off the horse, and Lindsay stood for a few moments to
+take a survey of the new residence of his old friends. It was a broad,
+substantial two-story stone house. There was a front garden, where large
+snow-ball trees
+
+    "Threw up their silver globes, light as the foamy surf,"
+
+and where the conical clusters of the lilac, and the little May roses,
+were bursting into fragrance and beauty, and uniting their odours with
+those of the tall white lily, and the lowly but delicious pink. Behind
+the house ascended a woodland hill, whose trees at this season exhibited
+every shade of green, in tints as various as the diversified browns of
+autumn.
+
+Lindsay found the front door unfastened, and opening it without
+ceremony, he entered a wide hall furnished with a long settee, a large
+table, a hat-stand, a hanging lamp, a map of the United States, and one
+of the world. There was a large parlour on each side of the hall, and
+Lindsay looked into both, the doors being open. One was carpeted, and
+seemed to be fitted up for winter, the other had a matted floor, and was
+evidently the summer sitting-room. The furniture in both, though by no
+means showy, was excellent of its kind and extremely neat; and in its
+form and arrangement convenience seemed to be the chief consideration.
+Lindsay thought he had never seen more pleasant-looking rooms. In the
+carpeted parlour, on the hearth of the Franklin stove, sat a blue china
+jar filled with magnolia flowers, whose spicy perfume was tempered by
+the outer air that came through the venetian blinds which were lowered
+to exclude the sunbeams. One recess was occupied by a mahogany
+book-case, and there was a side-board in the other. The chimney-place of
+the summer parlour was concealed by a drapery of ingeniously cut paper,
+and the various and beautiful flowers that adorned the mantel-piece had
+evidently been cultivated with care. Shelves of books hung in the
+recesses, and in both rooms were sofas and rocking-chairs.
+
+"Is it possible," thought Lindsay, "that this can be the habitation of
+Abraham Hilliard?" And he ran over in his mind the humble aspect of
+their sitting-room in the old farm-house, with its home-made carpet of
+strips of listing; its tall-backed rush chairs; its walnut table; its
+corner cupboard; its hanging shelves suspended from the beams that
+crossed the ceiling, and holding miscellaneous articles of every
+description.
+
+Having satisfied his curiosity by looking into the parlours, he
+proceeded through the hall to the back door, and there he found, in a
+porch canopied with honeysuckle, a woman busily engaged in picking the
+stems from a basket of early strawberries, as she transferred the fruit
+to a large bowl. Time had made so little change in her features, that,
+though much improved in her costume, he easily guessed her to be his old
+hostess Mrs. Hilliard. "Aunt Susan!" he exclaimed; for by that title he
+had been accustomed to address her in his boyhood. The old lady started
+up, and hastily snatched off her strawberry-stained apron.
+
+"Have you no recollection of Edward Lindsay?" continued our hero,
+heartily shaking her hand.
+
+She surveyed him from head to foot, till his identity dawned upon her,
+and then she ejaculated--"It is--it must be--though you are a gentleman,
+you _must_ be little Neddy--there--there, sit down--I'll be back in a
+moment."
+
+She went into the house, and returned almost immediately, bringing with
+her a small coquelicot waiter, with cakes and wine, which she pressed
+Lindsay to partake of. He smiled as he recollected that one of the
+customs of Oakland Farm was to oblige every stranger to eat and drink
+immediately on his arrival. And while he was discussing a cake and a
+glass of wine, the good dame heaped a saucer with strawberries, carried
+it away for a few minutes, and then brought it back inundated with cream
+and sugar. This was also presented to Lindsay, recommending that he
+should eat another cake with the strawberries, and take another glass of
+wine after them.
+
+On Edward's inquiring for her husband, Mrs. Hilliard replied that he was
+somewhere about the farm, and that the girls were drinking tea with some
+neighbours a few miles off; but she said she would send the carriage for
+them immediately, that they might be home early in the evening.
+
+In a short time Abraham Hilliard came in, having seen Pharaoh at the
+barn, who had informed him of the arrival of "Master Neddy." The meeting
+afforded equal gratification to both parties. The old farmer looked as
+if quite accustomed to a clean shirt and to shaving every day; and
+Lindsay was glad to find that his manner of expressing himself had
+improved with his circumstances. Aunt Susan, however, had not, in this
+respect, kept pace with her husband, remaining, to use her own
+expression--"just the same old two and sixpence." Women who have not in
+early life enjoyed opportunities of cultivating their minds are rarely
+able at a late period to acquire much conversational polish.--With men
+the case is different.
+
+Mrs. Hilliard now left her husband to entertain their guest, and, "on
+hospitable thoughts intent," withdrew to superintend the setting of a
+tea-table abounding in cakes and sweetmeats; the strawberry bowl and a
+pitcher of cream occupying the centre. This repast was laid out in the
+wide hall, and while engaged in arranging it, Mrs. Hilliard joined
+occasionally in the conversation which her husband and Lindsay were
+pursuing in her hearing, as they sat in the porch.
+
+"Well, Edward," proceeded Mr. Hilliard, "you see a great alteration in
+things at the farm: and I conclude you are glad to find us in a better
+way than when you left us."
+
+"Certainly," replied Lindsay.
+
+"Now," said the penetrating old farmer, "that 'certainly' did not come
+from your heart.--Tell me the truth--you miss something, don't you?"
+
+"Frankly, then," replied Lindsay, "I miss everything--I own myself so
+selfish as to feel some disappointment at the entire overthrow of all
+the images which during my long absence had been present to my mind's
+eye, in connexion with my remembrances of Oakland Farm. Thinking of the
+old farm house and its inhabitants, precisely as I had left them, and
+believing that time had passed over them without causing any essential
+change, I must say that I cannot, just at first, bring myself to be glad
+that it is otherwise. The happiness that seemed to dwell with the old
+house and the old-fashioned ways of its people, had been vividly
+impressed upon my feelings. And I fear--forgive me for saying so--that
+your family cannot have added much to their felicity by acquiring ideas
+and adopting habits to which they so long were strangers."
+
+"There you are mistaken, my dear boy," answered the farmer. "I
+acknowledge that if, in removing to a larger house, and altering our way
+of living, we had in any one instance sacrificed comfort to show, or
+convenience to ostentation--which, unfortunately, has been the error of
+some of our neighbours--we should, indeed, have enjoyed far less
+happiness than heretofore. But we have not done so. We have made no
+attempts at mimicking what in the city is called style; and I have
+forbidden my daughters to mention the word fashion in my presence."
+
+"Yes--yes," said Mrs. Hilliard, "I hope we have been wiser than the
+Newman family over at Poplar Plains. As soon as they got a little up in
+the world, they built a shell of a house that looks as if it was made of
+white pasteboard; and figured it all over with carved work inside and
+out; and stuck posts and pillars all about it with nothing of
+consequence to hold up; and furnished the rooms with all sorts of
+useless trumpery."
+
+"Softly--softly--wife!" interrupted old Abraham--and turning to our
+hero, he proceeded--"well, as I was telling you, Edward, I endeavour to
+enjoy what I have worked so hard to acquire, and to enjoy it in a manner
+that really improves our condition, and renders it in every respect
+better. You know, that in former times, though I had very little leisure
+to read, I liked to take up a book whenever I had a few moments to
+spare, if I was not too tired with my work; and when I went to town with
+marketing, I always bought a book to bring home with me. Also, I took a
+weekly paper. As soon as I could afford it, I brought home more than one
+book, and took a daily paper. I gave my children the benefit of the best
+schooling that could be procured without sending them to town for the
+purpose; but at the same time, I was averse to their learning any showy
+and useless accomplishments."
+
+"Well," rejoined Mrs. Hilliard, "we were certainly wiser than the
+Newmans, who sent their girls to a French school in Philadelphia, and
+had them taught music, both guitar and piano. And the Newman girls mix
+up their talk with all sorts of French words that sound very ugly to me.
+Instead of 'good night' they say _bone swear_;[77] and a 'trifle' they
+call a _bagtau_;[78] and they are always talking about having a
+_Gennessee Squaw_;[79] though what they mean by that I cannot imagine;
+for, I am sure I never saw any such thing in this part of the country.
+And the tunes they play on the piano seem to me like no tunes at all,
+but just a sort of scrambling up and down, that nobody can make either
+head or tail of. And when they sing to the guitar, it sounds to me just
+like moaning one minute, and screaming the next, with a little tinkling
+between whiles."
+
+[Footnote 77: Bonsoir.]
+
+[Footnote 78: Bagatelle.]
+
+[Footnote 79: Je ne sais quoi.]
+
+"Wife--wife," interrupted Abraham, "you are too severe on the poor
+girls."
+
+"Well--well," proceeded Mrs. Hilliard, "I'll say nothing more, only
+this: that the airs they take on themselves make them the talk of the
+whole country--And then they've given up all sorts of work. The mother
+spends most of her time in taking naps, to make up, I suppose, for
+having had to rise early all the former part of her life. The girls sit
+about all day in stiff silk frocks, squeezed so tight in them that they
+can hardly move. Or they go round paying morning visits, interrupting
+people in the busy part of the day. And they invite company to their
+house, and give them no tea; and say they're having a _swearey_.[80] To
+be sure it's a shame for me to say so, but it's well known that they
+never have a good thing on their table now, but pretend it's genteel to
+live on bits and morsels that have neither taste nor substance. And no
+doubt that's the reason the whole family have grown so thin and yellow,
+and are always complaining of something they call dyspepsy."
+
+[Footnote 80: Soirée.]
+
+"_They_ have certainly changed for the worse," remarked Lindsay. "I
+remember the Newmans very well--a happy, homely family living in a long,
+low, red frame house, and having everything about them plain and
+plentiful."
+
+"So had we in our former dwelling," said Mr. Hilliard, "yet I think we
+are living still better now."
+
+"I have many pleasant recollections of the old house," said Lindsay.
+
+"For you," observed the farmer, "our old house and the manner in which
+we then lived, owed most of their charms to novelty, and to the
+circumstance that children are seldom fastidious. I doubt much, if you
+had found everything in _statu quo_, and the old house and its
+inhabitants just as you left them, whether you could have been induced
+to make us as long a visit as I hope you will now."
+
+"My husband," said Mrs. Hilliard, "is different from most men of his
+age. Instead of dwelling all the while upon old times, he stands up for
+the times we live in, and says everything now is better than it used to
+be. And he's brought me to agree with him pretty much--I never was an
+idle woman, and I keep myself busy enough still, but I do think it is
+pleasanter to keep hired people for the hard work than to have to help
+with it myself, as you know I used to. Though I never complained about
+it, still I cannot say, now I look back, that there was any great
+pleasure in helping on washing-days and ironing-days, or in making soft
+soap, and baking great batches of bread and pies--to be sure, my soft
+soap was admired all over the country, and my bread was always light,
+and my pie-crust never tough. Neither was there much delight in seeing
+my two eldest girls paddling to the barn-yard every morning and evening,
+through all weathers, to milk the cows; or setting them at heavy
+churnings, and other hard work. And then at harvest-time, and at
+killing-time, and when we were getting the marketing ready for husband
+to take to town in the wagon, we were on our feet the whole blessed day.
+To be sure, they were used to it, but I often felt sorry for Abraham and
+the boys, when they came home from the field in a warm evening, so tired
+with work they could hardly speak, and were glad to wash themselves, and
+get their supper, and go to bed at dark. And the girls and I were always
+glad enough, too, to get our rest as soon as we had put away the milk
+and washed the supper things; knowing we should have to be up before the
+stars were gone, to sweep the house and do the milking, and get the
+breakfast, that the men might be off early to work."
+
+"I remember all this very well," said Lindsay.
+
+"To be sure you do," pursued Mrs. Hilliard. "Then don't you think it's
+pleasant for us now not to be overworked during the day, so that in the
+evening, instead of going to bed, we can sit round the table in a nice
+parlour, and sew and knit; or read, for them that likes it. Husband and
+the girls always did take pleasure in reading--and, for my part, now
+I've time, I'm beginning to like a book myself. Last winter, I read a
+good deal in the second volume of the Spectator. In short, I have not
+the least notion of grieving after our way of living at the old house."
+
+"Nor I neither," added Abraham; "and I really find it much more
+agreeable to superintend my farm, than to be obliged to labour on it
+myself."
+
+"And now let us proceed with our tea," said Mrs. Hilliard; "and, Neddy,
+if you do not eat hearty of what you see before you, I shall think you
+are fretting after the mush and milk, and sowins, and pie and cheese,
+that we use to have on our old supper table, and which I do not believe
+you could eat now if they were before you. Come, you must not mind my
+speaking out so plainly. You know I always was a right-down sort of
+woman, and am so still."
+
+Edward smiled, and pressed her hand kindly, acknowledging that all she
+had said was justified by truth and reason.
+
+The carriage--they kept a very plain but a very capacious one--brought
+home the girls shortly after candle-light. Lindsay ran out to assist
+them in alighting, and was glad to find that on hearing his name they
+retained a perfect recollection of him, though they were in their
+earliest childhood at the time of his departure for Europe. When they
+came into the light, he found them both very pretty. Their skins had not
+been tanned by exposure to the sun and wind, nor their shoulders
+stooped, nor their hands reddened by hard work; as had been the case
+with their two elder sisters. They were dressed in white frocks, blue
+shawls, and straw bonnets with blue ribbons; neatly, and in good taste.
+
+The evening passed pleasantly, and Lindsay soon discovered that the
+daughters of his host were very charming girls. Ellen, perhaps, had a
+little tinge of vanity, but Lucy was entirely free from it. Diffidence
+prevented her from talking much, but she listened understandingly, and
+when she did speak, it was with animation and intelligence. Lindsay felt
+that he should not have liked her so well had she looked, and dressed,
+and talked as he remembered her elder sisters.
+
+When he retired for the night, his bed and room were so well furnished,
+and looked so inviting, that he could not regret the little low
+apartment with no chimney and only one window, that he had occupied in
+the old farm-house; and he slept quite as soundly under a white
+counterpane as he had formerly done under a patch-work quilt.
+
+We have no space to enter more minutely into the details of our hero's
+visit, nor to relate by what process he speedily became a convert to the
+fact that even among country-people the march of improvement adds
+greatly to their comfort and happiness; provided always, that they do
+not mistake the road, and diverge into the path of folly and pretension.
+
+Suffice it to say, that he protracted his stay to a week, during which
+he broke the girls of the habit of saying "pappy," substituting the more
+sensible and affectionate epithet of "father." When Pharaoh announced
+the proper time, he made a visit to the refectory of old Binkey, whom he
+afterwards desired the Candyville storekeeper to supply at his charge,
+with materials for her cakes and beer, _ad libitum_, during the
+remainder of her life.
+
+The visit of Edward Lindsay to Oakland was in the course of the summer
+so frequently repeated, that no one was much surprised when, early in
+October, he conducted Lucy Hilliard to Philadelphia as his bride:
+acknowledging to himself that he could never have made her so, had she
+and her family continued exactly as he had known them at the OLD
+FARM-HOUSE.
+
+
+
+
+THAT GENTLEMAN:
+
+OR,
+
+PENCILLINGS ON SHIP-BOARD.
+
+    "Yon sun that sets upon the sea
+    We follow in his flight."--BYRON.
+
+
+"And now, dear Caroline, tell us some particulars of your passage home,"
+said Mrs. Esdale to her sister, as they quitted the tea-table on the
+evening of Mr. and Mrs. Fenton's arrival from a visit to Europe.
+
+"Our passage home," replied Mrs. Fenton, "was moderately short, and
+generally pleasant. We had a good ship, a good captain, splendid
+accommodations, and an excellent table, and were not crowded with too
+many passengers."
+
+"Yet, let us hear something more circumstantial," said Mrs. Esdale.
+
+"Dear Henrietta," replied her sister, "have I not often told you how
+difficult it is to relate anything amusingly or interestingly when you
+are expressly called upon to do so; when you are expected to sit up in
+form, and furnish a regular narrative, with a beginning, a middle, and
+an end."
+
+"But indeed," rejoined Mrs. Esdale, "we have anticipated much pleasure
+from hearing your account of the voyage. Come,--let us take our seats in
+the front parlour, and leave your husband and mine to their discussion
+of the political prospects of both hemispheres. The girls and myself
+would much rather listen to your last impressions of life on
+ship-board."
+
+"Do, dear aunt," said both the daughters of Mrs. Esdale, two fine girls
+of seventeen and fifteen--and taking their seats at the sofa-table, they
+urged Mrs Fenton to commence.
+
+"Well, then," said Mrs. Fenton, "to begin in the manner of the fairy
+tales--once upon a time there lived in the city of New York, a merchant
+whose name was Edward Fenton--and he had a wife named Caroline Fenton.
+And notwithstanding that they had a town-house and a country-house, and
+a coach to ride in, and fine clothes, and fine furniture, and plenty of
+good things to eat and to drink, they grew tired of staying at home and
+being comfortable. So they sailed away in a ship, and never stopped till
+they got to England. And there they saw the king and queen, with gold
+crowns on their heads, and sceptres in their hands--(by-the-bye it was
+lucky that we arrived in time for the coronation)--and they heard the
+king cough, and the queen sneeze: and they saw lords with ribands and
+stars, and ladies with plumes and diamonds. They travelled and
+travelled, and often came to great castles that looked like giants'
+houses: and they went all over England and Wales, and Ireland and
+Scotland. Then they returned to London, and saw more sights; and then
+they were satisfied to come back to America, where they expect to live
+happily all the rest of their lives."
+
+"Now, aunt, you are laughing at us," said Juliet Esdale--"your letters
+from Europe have somewhat taken off the edge of our curiosity as to your
+adventures there: and it is just now our especial desire to hear
+something of your voyage home."
+
+"In truth," replied Mrs. Fenton, "I must explain, that on this, the
+first evening of my return, I feel too happy, and too much excited, to
+talk systematically on any subject whatever; much less to arrange my
+ideas into the form of a history. To-morrow I shall be engaged all day
+at my own house: for I must preside at the awakening of numerous
+articles of furniture that have been indulged during our absence with a
+long slumber; some being covered up in cases, and some shut up in
+closets, or disrespectfully imprisoned in the attics. But I will come
+over in the evening; and, if we are not interrupted by visiters, I will
+read you some memorandums that I made on the passage. I kept no regular
+journal, but I wrote a little now and then, chiefly for my amusement,
+and to diversify my usual occupations of reading, sewing, and walking
+the deck. Therefore excuse me to-night, and let me have my humour, for
+I feel exactly in the vein to talk 'an infinite deal of nothing.'"
+
+"Aunt Caroline," said Clara, "you know that, talk as you will, we always
+like to hear you. But we shall long for to-morrow evening."
+
+"Do not, however, expect a finished picture of a sea-voyage," said Mrs.
+Fenton, "I can only promise you a few slight outlines, filled up with a
+half tint, and without lights or shadows; like the things that the
+Chinese sometimes paint on their tea-chests."
+
+On the following evening, the gentlemen having gone to a public meeting,
+and measures being taken for the exclusion of visitors, Mrs. Esdale and
+her daughters seated themselves at the table with their work, and Mrs.
+Fenton produced her manuscript book, and read as follows: having first
+reminded her auditors that her husband and herself, instead of embarking
+at London, had gone by land to Portsmouth, and from thence crossed over
+to the Isle of Wight, where they took apartments at the principal hotel
+in the little town of Cowes, at which place the ship was to touch on her
+way down the British channel.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Having amply availed ourselves of the opportunity (afforded by a three
+days' sojourn) of exploring the beauties of the Isle of Wight, we felt
+some impatience to find ourselves fairly afloat, and actually on our
+passage "o'er the glad waters of the dark blue sea." On the fourth
+afternoon, we walked down to the beach, and strolled amid shells and
+sea-weed, along the level sands at the foot of a range of those chalky
+cliffs that characterize the southern coast of England. It was a lovely
+day. A breeze from the west was ruffling the crests of the green
+transparent waves, and wafting a few light clouds across the effulgence
+of the declining sun, whose beams danced radiantly on the surface of the
+water, gilding the black and red sails of the fishing-boats, and then
+withdrawing, at intervals, and leaving the sea in shade.
+
+"Should this wind continue," said Mr. Fenton, "we may be detained here a
+week, and have full leisure to clamber again among the ruins of
+Carisbrook Castle, and to gaze at the cloven chalk-rocks of Shankline
+Chine, and the other wonders of this pleasant little island."
+
+We then approached an old disabled sailor, who was smoking his pipe,
+seated on a dismantled cannon that lay prostrate on the sands, its iron
+mouth choked up with the sea-weed that the tide had washed into it; and
+on entering into conversation with him, we found that he was an
+out-pensioner of Greenwich hospital, and that for the last ten years he
+had passed most of his time about Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight.
+
+"Have you ever known a ship come down from London with such a wind as
+this?" inquired Mr. Fenton.
+
+"No," replied the sailor.--"After she doubles Beachy Head, this wind
+would be right in her teeth."
+
+"Then," said Mr. Fenton, turning to me--"till it changes, we may give up
+all hope of seeing our gallant vessel."
+
+"What ship are you looking for?" asked the sailor.
+
+"The Washington."
+
+"Oh! an American ship--ay, _she'll_ come down. _They_ can make their way
+with any sort of wind."[81]
+
+[Footnote 81: This implied compliment to our vessels and seamen was
+really made by a British sailor, in a similar conversation with an
+American gentleman.]
+
+He had scarcely spoken, when the flag of our country appeared beyond the
+point, its bright stars half obscured by the ample folds of the white
+and crimson stripes that, blown backward by the adverse breeze, were
+waving across them. In a moment the snowy sails of the Washington came
+full into view, shaded with purple by the setting sun.
+
+"There she is!" exclaimed my husband. "There she comes--is not an
+American ship one of the most beautiful objects created by the hand of
+man? Well, indeed, do they merit the admiration that is so frankly
+accorded to them by every nation of the earth."
+
+My husband, in his enthusiasm, shook the hand of the old sailor, and
+slipped some money into it. We remained on the beach looking at the ship
+till
+
+    "----o'er her bow the rustling cable rung,
+    The sails were furl'd; and anchoring round she swung."
+
+A boat was then lowered from her stern, and the captain came off in it.
+He walked with us to the hotel, and informed us that he should leave
+Cowes early the following day. We soon completed the preparations for
+our final departure, and before eight o'clock next morning we had taken
+our last step on British ground, and were installed in our new abode on
+the world of waters. Several of the passengers had come down in the
+ship from London; others, like ourselves, had preferred commencing their
+voyage from the Isle of Wight; and some, as we understood, were to join
+us at Plymouth.
+
+We sailed immediately. The breeze freshened, and that night and the next
+day, there was much general discomfort from sea-sickness; but,
+fortunately for us both, I was very slightly affected by that
+distressing malady, and Mr. Fenton not at all.
+
+On the third day, we were enabled to lay our course with a fair wind and
+a clear sky: the coast of Cornwall looking like a succession of low
+white clouds ranged along the edge of the northern horizon. Towards
+evening we passed the Lizard, to see land no more till we should descry
+it on the other side of the Atlantic. As Mr. Fenton and myself leaned
+over the taffrail, and saw the last point of England fade dimly from our
+view, we thought with regret of the shore we were leaving behind us, and
+of much that we had seen, and known, and enjoyed in that country of
+which all that remained to our lingering gaze was a dark spot so distant
+and so small as to be scarcely perceptible. Soon we could discern it no
+longer: and nothing of Europe was now left to us but the indelible
+recollections that it has impressed upon our minds. We turned towards
+the region of the descending sun--
+
+    "To where his setting splendours burn
+    Upon the western sea-maid's urn,"
+
+and we vainly endeavoured to direct all our thoughts and feelings
+towards our home beyond the ocean--our beloved American home.
+
+On that night, as on many others, when our ship was careering through
+the sea, with her yards squared, and her sails all trimmed to a fresh
+and favouring breeze, while we sat on a sofa in the lesser cabin, and
+looked up through the open skylight at the stars that seemed flying over
+our heads, we talked of the land we had so recently quitted. We talked
+of her people, who though differing from ours in a thousand minute
+particulars, are still essentially the same. Our laws, our institutions,
+our manners, and our customs are derived from theirs: we are benefited
+by the same arts, we are enlightened by the same sciences. Their noble
+and copious language is fortunately ours--their Shakspeare also belongs
+to us; and we rejoice that we can possess ourselves of his "thoughts
+that breathe, and words that burn," in all their original freshness and
+splendour, unobscured by the mist of translation. Though the ocean
+divides our dwelling-places: though the sword and the cannon-shot have
+sundered the bonds that once united us to her dominion: though the
+misrepresentations of travelling adventurers have done much to foster
+mutual prejudices, and to embitter mutual jealousies, still we share the
+pride of our parent in the glorious beings she can number among the
+children of her island home, for
+
+    "Yet lives the blood of England in our veins."
+
+On the fourth day of our departure from the Isle of Wight, we found
+ourselves several hundred miles from land, and consigned to the
+solitudes of that ocean-desert, "dark-heaving-boundless--endless--and
+sublime"--whose travellers find no path before them, and leave no track
+behind. But the wind was favourable, the sky was bright, the passengers
+had recovered their health and spirits, and for the first time were all
+able to present themselves at the dinner-table; and there was really
+what might be termed a "goodly company."
+
+It is no longer the custom in American packet ships for ladies to
+persevere in what is called a sea-dress: that is, a sort of dishabille
+prepared expressly for the voyage. Those who are not well enough to
+devote some little time and attention to their personal appearance,
+rarely come to the general table, but take their meals in their own
+apartment. The gentlemen, also, pay as much respect to their toilet as
+when on shore.
+
+The _coup d'oeil_ of the dinner-table very much resembles that of a
+fashionable hotel. All the appurtenances of the repast are in handsome
+style. The eatables are many of them such as, even on shore, would be
+considered delicacies, and they are never deficient in abundance and
+variety. Whatever may be the state of the weather, or the motion of the
+ship, the steward and the cook are unfailing in their duty; constantly
+fulfilling their arduous functions with the same care and regularity.
+The breakfast-table is always covered with a variety of relishes, and
+warm cakes. At noon there is a luncheon of pickled oysters, cold ham,
+tongue, &c. The dinner consists of fowls, ducks, geese, turkeys, fresh
+pork or mutton; for every ship is well supplied with live poultry, pigs
+and sheep. During the first week of the voyage there is generally fresh
+beef on the table, it being brought on board from the last place at
+which the vessel has touched: and it is kept on deck wrapped closely in
+a sail-cloth, and attached to one of the masts, the salt atmosphere
+preserving it. Every day at the dessert there are delicious pies and
+puddings, followed by almonds, raisins, oranges, &c.; and the tea-table
+is profusely set out with rich cakes and sweetmeats. For the sick there
+is always an ample store of sago, arrow-root, pearl-barley, tamarinds,
+&c. Many persons have an opportunity, during their passage across the
+Atlantic, of living more luxuriously than they have ever done in their
+lives, or perhaps ever will again. Our passengers were not too numerous.
+The lesser cabin was appropriated to three other ladies and myself. It
+formed our drawing-room; the gentlemen being admitted only as visiters.
+One of the ladies was Mrs. Calcott, an amiable and intelligent woman,
+who was returning with her husband from a long residence in England.
+Another was Miss Harriet Audley, a very pretty and very lively young
+lady from Virginia, who had been visiting a married sister in London,
+and was now on her way home under the care of the captain, expecting to
+meet her father in New York. We were much amused during the voyage with
+the coquetry of our fair Virginian, as she aimed her arrows at nearly
+all the single gentlemen in turn; and with her frankness in openly
+talking of her designs, and animadverting on their good or ill success.
+The gentlemen, with the usual vanity of their sex, always believed Miss
+Audley's attacks on their hearts to be made in earnest, and that she was
+deeply smitten with each of them in succession; notwithstanding that the
+smile in her eye was far more frequent than the blush on her cheek; and
+notwithstanding that rumour had asserted the existence of a certain
+cavalier in the neighbourhood of Richmond, whose constancy it was
+supposed she would eventually reward with her hand, as he might be
+considered, in every sense of the term, an excellent match.
+
+Our fourth female passenger was Mrs. Cummings, a plump, rosy-faced old
+lady of remarkably limited ideas, who had literally passed her whole
+life in the city of London. Having been recently left a widow, she had
+broken up housekeeping, and was now on her way to join a son established
+in New York, who had very kindly sent for her to come over and live with
+him. The rest of the world was almost a sealed book to her, but she
+talked a great deal of the Minories, the Poultry, the Old Jewry,
+Cheapside, Long Acre, Bishopsgate Within, and Bishopsgate Without, and
+other streets and places with, appellations equally expressive.
+
+The majority of the male passengers were pleasant and companionable--and
+we thought we had seen them all in the course of the first three
+days--but on the fourth, we heard the captain say to one of the waiters,
+"Juba, ask that gentleman if I shall have the pleasure of taking wine
+with him." My eyes now involuntarily followed the direction of Juba's
+movements, feeling some curiosity to know who "that gentleman" was, as I
+now recollected having frequently heard the epithet within the last few
+days. For instance, when almost every one was confined by sea-sickness
+to their state-rooms, I had seen the captain despatch a servant to
+inquire of that gentleman if he would have anything sent to him from the
+table. Also, I had heard Hamilton, the steward, call out,--"There, boys,
+don't you hear that gentleman ring his bell--why don't you run
+spontaneously--jump, one of you, to number eleventeen." I was puzzled
+for a moment to divine which state-room bore the designation of
+eleventeen, but concluded it to be one of the many unmeaning terms that
+characterize the phraseology of our coloured people. Once or twice I
+wondered who that gentleman could be; but something else happened
+immediately to divert my attention.
+
+Now, when I heard Captain Santlow propose taking wine with him, I
+concluded that, of course, that gentleman must be visible in _propriâ
+personâ_, and, casting my eyes towards the lower end of the table, I
+perceived a genteel-looking man whom I had not seen before. He was
+apparently of no particular age, and there was nothing in his face that
+could lead any one to guess at his country. He might have been English,
+Scotch, Irish, or American; but he had none of the characteristic marks
+of either nation. He filled his glass, and bowing his head to Captain
+Santlow, who congratulated him on his recovery, he swallowed his wine in
+silence. There was an animated conversation going on near the head of
+the table, between Miss Audley and two of her beaux, and we thought no
+more of him.
+
+At the close of the dessert, we happened to know that he had quitted the
+table and gone on deck, by one of the waiters coming down and requesting
+Mr. Overslaugh (who was sitting a-tilt, while discussing his walnuts,
+with his chair balanced on one leg, and his head leaning against the
+wainscot) to let him pass for a moment, while he went into No.
+eleventeen for that gentleman's overcoat. I now found that the servants
+had converted No. 13 into eleventeen. By-the-bye, that gentleman had a
+state-room all to himself, sometimes occupying the upper and sometimes
+the under berth.
+
+"Captain Santlow," said Mr. Fenton, "allow me to ask you the name of
+that gentleman."
+
+"Oh! I don't know"--replied the captain, trying to suppress a smile--"at
+least I have forgotten it--some English name; for he is an
+Englishman--he came on board at Plymouth, and his indisposition
+commenced immediately. Mrs. Cummings, shall I have the pleasure of
+peeling an orange for you?"
+
+I now recollected a little incident which had set me laughing soon after
+we left Plymouth, and when we were beating down the coast of Devonshire.
+I had been trying to write at the table in the Ladies' Cabin, but it was
+one of those days when
+
+    "Our paper, pen and ink, and we
+    Roll up and down our ships at sea."
+
+And all I could do was to take refuge in my berth, and endeavour to
+read, leaving the door open for more air. My attention, however, was
+continually withdrawn from my book by the sound of things that were
+dislodged from their places, sliding or falling, and frequently
+suffering destruction; though sometimes miraculously escaping unhurt.
+
+While I was watching the progress of two pitchers that had been tossed
+out of the washing-stand, and after deluging the floor with water, had
+met in the Ladies' Cabin, and were rolling amicably side by side,
+without happening to break each other, I saw a barrel of flour start
+from the steward's pantry, and running across the dining-room, stop at a
+gentleman that lay extended in a lower berth with his room door open,
+and pour out its contents upon him, completely enveloping him in a fog
+of meal. I heard the steward, who was busily engaged in mopping up the
+water that had flowed from the pitchers, call out, "Run, boys, run, that
+gentleman's smothering up in flour--go take the barrel off him--jump, I
+tell you!"
+
+How that gentleman acted while hidden in the cloud of flour, I could not
+perceive, and immediately the closing of the folding doors shut out the
+scene.
+
+For a few days after he appeared among us, there was some speculation
+with regard to this nameless stranger, whose taciturnity seemed his
+chief characteristic. One morning while we were looking at the gambols
+of a shoal of porpoises that were tumbling through the waves and
+sometimes leaping out of them, my husband made some remark on the clumsy
+antics of this unsightly fish, addressing himself, for the first time,
+to the unknown Englishman, who happened to be standing near him. That
+gentleman smiled affably, but made no reply. Mr. Fenton pursued the
+subject--and that gentleman smiled still more affably, and walked away.
+
+Nevertheless, he was neither deaf nor dumb, nor melancholy, but had only
+"a great talent for silence," and as is usually the case with persons
+whose genius lies that way, he was soon left entirely to himself, no one
+thinking it worth while to take the trouble of extracting words from
+him. In truth, he was so impracticable, and at the same time so
+evidently insignificant, and so totally uninteresting, that his
+fellow-passengers tacitly conveyed him to Coventry; and in Coventry he
+seemed perfectly satisfied to dwell. Once or twice Captain Santlow was
+asked again if he recollected the name of that gentleman; but he always
+replied with a sort of smile, "I cannot say I do--not exactly, at
+least--but I'll look at my manifest and see"--and he never failed to
+turn the conversation to something else.
+
+The only person that persisted in occasionally talking to that
+gentleman, was old Mrs. Cummings; and she confided to him her perpetual
+alarms at "the perils of the sea," considering him a good hearer, as he
+never made any reply, and was always disengaged, and sitting and
+standing about, apparently at leisure while the other gentlemen were
+occupied in reading, writing, playing chess, walking the deck, &c.
+
+Whenever the ship was struck by a heavy sea, and after quivering with
+the shock, remained motionless for a moment before she recovered herself
+and rolled the other way, poor Mrs. Cummings supposed that we had run
+against a rock, and could not be convinced that rocks were not dispersed
+every where about the open ocean. And as that gentleman never attempted
+to undeceive her on this or any other subject, but merely listened with
+a placid smile, she believed that he always thought precisely as she
+did. She not unfrequently discussed to him, in an under tone, the
+obstinacy and incivility of the captain, who she averred, with truth,
+had never in any one instance had the politeness to stop the ship, often
+as she had requested, nay implored him to do so even when she was
+suffering with sea-sickness, and actually tossed out of her berth by the
+violence of the storm, though she was holding on with both hands.
+
+One day, while we were all three sitting in the round-house (that very
+pleasant little saloon on the upper deck, at the head of the
+cabin-staircase), my attention was diverted from my book by hearing Mrs.
+Cummings say to that gentleman, "Pray, sir, can you tell me what is the
+matter with that poor man's head? I mean the man that has to stand
+always at the wheel there, holding it fast and turning it. I hear the
+captain call out to him every now and then (and in a very rough voice
+too, sometimes), 'How is your head?' and 'How is your head now?' I
+cannot understand what the man says in answer, so I suppose he speaks
+American; but the captain often tells him 'to keep it steady.' And once
+I heard the captain call out 'Port--port,' which I was very glad of,
+concluding that the poor fellow had nearly given out, and he was
+ordering a glass of port wine to revive him. Do you think, sir, that the
+poor man at the wheel has a constant headache like my friend Mrs.
+Dawlish of Leadenhall street, or that he has hurt his head somehow, by
+falling out of the sails, or tumbling down the ropeladders--(there
+now--we've struck a rock!--mercy on us--what a life we lead! I wish I
+was on Ludgate Hill.) Talking of hurts, I have not escaped them myself,
+for I've had my falls; and yet the captain is so rude as to turn a deaf
+ear, and keeps sailing on all the same, even when the breath is nearly
+knocked out of me, and though I've offered several times to pay him for
+stopping, but he only laughs at me. By-the-bye, when I go back again to
+dear old England, and I'm sorry enough that I ever left it (as Mr.
+Stackhouse, the great corn-chandler in Whitechapel, told me I certainly
+should be), I'll see and take my passage with a captain that has more
+feeling for the ladies. As for this one, he never lets the ship rest a
+minute, but he keeps forcing her on day and night. I doubt whether
+she'll last the voyage out, with all this wear and tear--and then if she
+_should_ give in, what's to become of us all? If he would only let her
+stand still while we are at table, that we might eat our dinners in
+peace!--though it's seldom I'm well enough to eat anything to speak
+of--I often make my whole dinner of the leg and wing of a goose, and a
+slice or two of plum-pudding; but there's no comfort in eating, when we
+are one minute thrown forward with our heads bowing down to the very
+table-cloth, and the next minute flung back with them knocking against
+the wall."
+
+"There was the other day at breakfast you know, we had all the cabin
+windows shut up at eight o'clock in the morning, which they called
+putting in the dead-lights--(I cannot see why shutters should be called
+lights)--and they put the lid on the skylight, and made it so dark that
+we had to breakfast with lamps. There must have been some strange
+mismanagement, or we need not have been put to all that inconvenience;
+and then when the ship almost fell over, they let a great flood of sea
+come pouring down among us, sweeping the plates off the table, and
+washing the very cups out of our hands, and filling our mouths with salt
+water, and ruining our dresses. I wonder what my friend Mrs. Danks, of
+Crutched Friars, would say if she had all this to go through--she that
+is so afraid of the water, she won't go over London Bridge for fear it
+should break down with her, and therefore visits nobody that lives in
+the Borough--there now--a rock again! I wish I was in St. Paul's Church
+Yard! Dear me!--what will become of us?"
+
+"Upon my word I can't tell," said that gentleman, as he rose and walked
+out on deck.
+
+I then endeavoured to set the old lady right, by explaining to her that
+the business of the man at the wheel was to steer the vessel, and that
+he was not always the same person, the helmsman being changed at regular
+periods. I also made her understand that the captain only meant to ask
+in what direction was the head of the ship--and that "port--port,"
+signified that he should put up the helm to the larboard or left side.
+
+I could not forbear repeating to Captain Santlow the ludicrous mistake
+of Mrs. Cummings, and her unfounded sympathy for the man at the wheel.
+He laughed, and said it reminded him of a story he had heard concerning
+an old Irish woman, a steerage passenger, that early in the morning
+after a stormy night, was found by the mate, cautiously creeping along
+the deck and looking round at every step, with a bottle of whiskey
+half-concealed under her apron. On the mate asking her what she was
+going to do with the whiskey, she replied, "I'm looking for that cratur
+Bill Lay, that ye were all calling upon the whole night long, and not
+giving him a minute to rest himself. I lay in my bed and I heard ye
+tramping and shouting over head!--'twas nothing but Bill Lay[82] here,
+and Bill Lay there, and Bill Lay this, and Bill Lay that--and a weary
+time he's had of it--for it was yourselves that could do nothing without
+him, great shame to ye. And I thought I'd try and find him out, the
+sowl, and bring him a drop of comfort, for it's himself that nades it."
+
+[Footnote 82: Belay--a sea-term, signifying to secure or make fast a
+rope.]
+
+Mrs. Cummings's compassion for the helmsman was changed into a somewhat
+different feeling a few days after. The captain and Mr. Fenton were
+sitting near the wheel earnestly engaged in a game of chess. The wind
+had been directly ahead for the last twenty-four hours, and several of
+the passengers were pacing the deck, and looking alternately at the
+sails and the dog-vane--suddenly there was an exclamation from one of
+them, of "Captain--captain--the wind has changed--it has just gone
+about!" Captain Santlow started up, and perceived that the little flag
+was apparently blowing in another direction; but on looking at the
+compass, he discovered the truth--it was now found that the steersman,
+who happened to understand chess, was so interested with the game which
+was playing immediately before him, that he had for a moment forgotten
+his duty, and inadvertently allowed the head of the ship to fall off
+half a dozen points from the wind. The error was immediately rectified;
+and Captain Santlow (who never on any occasion lost his temper) said
+coolly to the helmsman, "For this, sir, your grog shall be stopped."
+
+This little incident afforded an additional excitement to the ever-ready
+fears of Mrs. Cummings, who now took it into her head that if (as she
+phrased it) the wheel was turned the wrong way, it would overset the
+ship. Upon finding that the delinquent was an American, she opined that
+there could be no safety in a vessel where the sailors understood chess.
+And whenever we had a fresh breeze (such as she always persisted in
+calling a violent storm) she was very importunate with the captain not
+to allow the chess-man to take the wheel.
+
+"Ah!" said Mrs. Cummings, "I am sure there is no such thing in his
+majesty's ships, as sailors knowing chess or any of those hard things
+that are enough to set one crazy to think of. In my own dear country,
+people are saving of their wits; but you Americans always know more of
+everything than you ought to. I don't wonder so few of you look plump
+and ruddy. You all wear yourselves out with head-work. Your eyes are not
+half so big as ours, for they are fairly sunk in your heads with
+thinking and contriving. To be sure, at our house in the Minories we
+always kept a pack of cards in the parlour closet. But we never played
+any but very easy games, for it was not our way to make a toil of
+pleasure. Mercy on me!--what a rock!--I wish I was at the Back of St.
+Clements--How I have seen the Potheridge family in Throgmorton street,
+ponder and study over a game of whist as if their lives depended on
+every card. I had to play whist whenever I drank tea there, for they
+were never satisfied unless they were at it every night; and I hated it,
+because I always happened to get old Miss Nancy for a partner, and she
+was so sharp and so cross, and was continually finding fault with me for
+something she called reneaging. Whenever I gave out that I was one by
+honours, she always said it was no such thing; and she downright
+scolded, when after she had played an ace I played a king; or when she
+had trumped first and I made all sure by trumping too. Now what I say is
+this--a trick can't be too well taken. But I'm not for whist--give me a
+good easy game where you can't go wrong, such as I've been used to all
+my life; though, no doubt when I get to America, I shall find my son
+Jacky playing chess and whist and despising Beggar my neighbour."
+
+In less than a fortnight after we left the British Channel, we were off
+the Banks of Newfoundland; and, as is frequently the case in their
+vicinity, we met with cold foggy weather. It cleared a little about
+seven in the morning, and we then discovered no less than three
+ice-bergs to leeward. One of them, whose distance from us was perhaps a
+mile, appeared higher than the mainmast head, and as the top shot up
+into a tall column, it looked like a vast rock with a light-house on its
+pinnacle. As the cold and watery sunbeams gleamed fitfully upon it, it
+exhibited in some places the rainbow tints of a prism--other parts were
+of a dazzling white, while its sharp angular projections seemed like
+masses of diamonds glittering upon snow.
+
+The fog soon became so dense, that in looking over the side of the ship
+we could not discern the sea. Fortunately, it was so calm that we
+scarcely moved, or the danger of driving on the ice-bergs would have
+been terrific. We had now no other means of ascertaining our distance
+from them, but by trying the temperature of the water with a
+thermometer.
+
+In the afternoon, the fog gathered still more thickly round us, and
+dripped from the rigging, so that the sailors were continually swabbing
+the deck. I had gone with Mr. Fenton to the round-house, and looked a
+while from its windows on the comfortless scene without. The only
+persons then on the main-deck were the captain and the first mate. They
+were wrapped in their watch-coats, their hair and whiskers dripping with
+the fog-dew. Most of the passengers went to bed at an early hour, and
+soon all was awfully still; Mrs. Cummings being really too much
+frightened to talk, only that she sometimes wished herself in
+Shoreditch, and sometimes in Houndsditch. It was a night of real danger.
+The captain remained on deck till morning, and several of the gentlemen
+bore him company, being too anxious to stay below.
+
+About day-break, a heavy shower of rain dispersed the fog--"the
+conscious vessel waked as from a trance"--a breeze sprung up that
+carried us out of danger from the ice-bergs, which were soon diminished
+to three specks on the horizon, and the sun rose bright and cheerfully.
+
+Towards noon, the ladies recollected that none of them had seen that
+gentleman during the last twenty-four hours, and some apprehension was
+expressed lest he should have walked overboard in the fog. No one could
+give any account of him, or remember his last appearance; and Miss
+Audley professed much regret that now, in all probability, we should
+never be able to ascertain his name, as, most likely, he had "died and
+made no sign." To our shames be it spoken, not one of us could cry a
+tear at his possible fate. The captain had turned into his berth, and
+was reposing himself after the fatigue of last night; so we could make
+no inquiry of him on the subject of our missing fellow-passenger.
+
+Mrs. Cummings called the steward, and asked him how long it was since he
+had seen anything of that gentleman. "I really can't tell, madam,"
+replied Hamilton; "I can't pretend to charge my memory with such things.
+But I conclude he must have been seen yesterday--at least I rather
+expect he was."
+
+The waiter Juba was now appealed to: "I believe, madam," said Juba--"I
+remember something of handing that gentleman the bread-basket yesterday
+at dinner--but I would not be qualified as to whether the thing took
+place or not, my mind being a good deal engaged at the time."
+
+Solomon, the third waiter, disclaimed all positive knowledge of this or
+any other fact, but sagely remarked, "that it was very likely that
+gentleman had been about all yesterday, as usual; yet still it was just
+as likely he might not; and there was only one thing certain, which
+was, that if he was not nowhere, he must, of course, be somewhere."
+
+"I have a misgiving," said Mrs. Cummings, "that he will never be found
+again."
+
+"I'll tell you what I can do, madam," exclaimed the steward, looking as
+if suddenly struck with a bright thought--"I can examine into No.
+eleventeen, and see if I can perceive him there." And softly opening the
+door of the state-room in question, he stepped back, and said with a
+triumphant flourish of his hand--"There he is, ladies, there he is in
+the upper berth, fast asleep in his double-cashmere dressing-gown. I
+opinionate that he was one of the gentlemen that stayed on deck all
+night, because they were afraid to go to sleep on account of the
+icebergers.--Of course, nobody noticed him--but there he is _now_, safe
+enough."
+
+Instantly we proceeded _en masse_ towards No. eleventeen, to convince
+ourselves: and there indeed we saw that gentleman lying asleep in his
+double cashmere dressing-gown. He opened his eyes, and seemed surprised,
+as well he might, at seeing all the ladies and all the servants ranged
+before the door of his room, and gazing in at him: and then we all stole
+off, looking foolish enough.
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Cummings, "he is not dead, however,--so we have yet a
+chance of knowing his name from himself, if we choose to ask him. But
+I'm determined I'll make the captain tell it me, as soon as he gets up.
+It's all nonsense, this making a secret of a man's name."
+
+"I suspect," said Mr. Fenton, who had just then entered the cabin, "we
+shall find it
+
+    ----'a name unpronouncea_ble_,
+    Which nobody can speak and nobody can spell.'"
+
+"I never," observed Mrs. Cummings, "knew but one name that could neither
+be spoke nor spelt--and that was the great general's, that was so often
+in the papers at the time people were talking about the Poles."
+
+"Sczrynecki?" said Mr. Fenton.
+
+"Oh! I don't know how _you_ call him," replied Mrs. Cummings; "but Mr.
+Upshaw of Great Knight Rider street, said it was 'Screw him sky high.'
+And Dr. Mangleman of Cateaton street (who was always to me a very
+disagreeable person, because he always talked of disagreeable things),
+said it was 'Squeeze neck and eyes out.' A very unpleasant person was
+Dr. Mangleman. His talk was enough to make well people sick, and sick
+people sicker--I'm glad he's not on board o' ship with us. He told us
+one day at Mrs. Winceby's dinner-table, when some of us were eating
+calf's head, and some roast pig, about his dissecting a man that was
+hanged, and how he took his knife and--"
+
+"I really believe," said I, wishing to be spared the story, "that we
+have actually struck a rock this time."
+
+"There now," exclaimed Mrs. Cummings, "you see I am right, after all. If
+it is not a rock, it is one of those great hills of ice that has turned
+about and is coming right after us--Mercy on us! I wish I was in Middle
+Row, Holborn! Let us go on deck, and see."
+
+We went on deck, and saw a whale, which was spouting at a distance.
+While looking at it, we were joined by Captain Santlow, and the
+conversation turning entirely on whales, that gentleman and his name
+were again forgotten.
+
+Among the numerous steerage passengers was a young man whose profession
+was that of a methodist preacher. Having succeeded in making some
+religious impressions on the majority of his companions, he one Sunday
+obtained their consent to his performing divine service that evening in
+the steerage: and respectfully intimated that he would be highly
+gratified by the attendance of any of the cabin passengers that would
+condescend to honour him so far. Accordingly, after tea, we all
+descended to the steerage at early candle-light, and found everything
+prepared for the occasion. A barrel, its head covered with a piece of
+sail-cloth, served as a desk, lighted by two yellowish dip candles
+placed in empty porter bottles. But as there was considerable motion, it
+was found that the bottles would not rest in their stations; therefore,
+they were held by two boys. The chests and boxes nearest to the desk,
+were the seats allotted to the ladies and gentlemen: and the steerage
+people ranged themselves behind.
+
+A hymn was sung to a popular tune. The prayer and sermon were delivered
+in simple but impressive language; for the preacher, though a poor and
+illiterate man, was not deficient either in sense or feeling, and was
+evidently imbued with the sincerest piety. There was something solemn
+and affecting in the aspect of the whole scene, with all its rude
+arrangement; and also in the idea of the lonely and insulated situation
+of our little community, with "one wide water all around us." And when
+the preacher, in his homely but fervent language, returned thanks for
+our hitherto prosperous voyage, and prayed for our speedy and safe
+arrival at our destined port, tears stood in the eyes of many of his
+auditors. I thought, when it was over, how frequently such scenes must
+have occurred between the decks of the May-flower, during the long and
+tempestuous passage of that pilgrim band who finally
+
+          "moored their bark
+    On the wild New England shore,"
+
+and how often
+
+    "Amid the storm they sung,
+      And the stars heard, and the sea--"
+
+when the wise and pious Brewster lifted his voice in exhortation and
+prayer, and the virtuous Carver, and the gallant Standish, bowed their
+heads in devotion before him.
+
+Another of the steerage passengers was a lieutenant in the British army,
+a man about forty years old, of excellent education, polished manners,
+and a fine military deportment. He was accompanied by his family, and
+they excited much sympathy among the ladies and gentlemen of the cabin.
+He had a wife, a handsome, modest, and intelligent looking woman, and
+five very pretty children, three boys and two girls. Being reduced to
+half-pay, seeing no chance of promotion, and weary of living on "hope
+deferred that maketh the heart sick," Lieutenant Lynford had resolved to
+emigrate, and settle on a grant of land accorded to him in Canada in
+consequence of his having been in service there during our last war. He
+believed that the new world would offer better prospects to his
+children, and that he could there support his family at less expense
+than in Europe. Unable to afford the cost of their passage in the cabin,
+he was under the painful necessity of bringing them over in the
+steerage, amidst all its unimaginable and revolting inconveniences.
+
+It was impossible to regard this unfortunate and misplaced family
+without emotions of deep interest and sincere commiseration; they were
+so evidently out of their proper sphere, and it must have been so
+painful to the feelings of a gentleman and lady to live in almost
+immediate contact with the coarse and vulgar tenants of that crowded and
+comfortless part of the vessel.
+
+Mr. Fenton, and others of the gentlemen, took great pleasure in
+conversing with Lieutenant Lynford; though, according to rule, the poor
+officer was not permitted, as a steerage passenger, to come aft the
+mainmast. Therefore, their conversations had to take place at the
+extreme limits of the boundary line, which the lieutenant was scrupulous
+in never overstepping.
+
+His wife, a lady both in appearance and manner, was seldom seen on deck,
+except when her husband prevailed on her to come up with him to look at
+something that made a spectacle, or an event, in the monotony of our
+usual sea-view. We understood that they had surrounded the narrow space
+allotted to their beds with a sort of partition, made by suspending a
+screen of quilts and blankets, so as to interpose a slight barrier
+between themselves and the disgusting scenes, and frequently disgusting
+people with whom it was their hard fate to be associated during the
+voyage; and whose jealousy and ill-will would have been immediately
+excited by any attempt on the part of the captain or the cabin
+passengers, to alleviate the discomforts to which the unfortunate
+Lynfords were subjected.
+
+The regulation that no light shall be allowed in the steerage, except on
+some extraordinary occasion (and which originates in the danger of the
+ship being carelessly set on fire), must have been an almost intolerable
+grievance to Lieutenant Lynford, and his wife and children. I often
+thought of them while we were spending our evenings so agreeably in
+various amusements and occupations round the cabin tables, brightly
+illuminated by the elegant lamps that were suspended from the ceiling. I
+felt how long and how dismally _their_ evenings must have passed,
+capable as they were in mind, in taste, and in education, of the same
+enjoyments as ourselves; and therefore feeling with double intensity the
+severe pressure of their hard and unmerited condition.
+
+After crossing the Banks we seemed to feel ourselves on American ground,
+or rather on American sea. As our interest increased on approaching the
+land of our destination, that gentleman was proportionably overlooked
+and forgotten. He "kept the even tenor of his way," and we had become
+scarcely conscious that he was still among us: till one day, when there
+was rather a hard gale, and the waves were running high, we were
+startled, as we surrounded the luncheon table, by a tremendous noise on
+the cabin staircase, and the sudden bursting open of the door at its
+foot. We all looked up, and saw that gentleman falling down stairs, with
+both arms extended, as he held in one hand a tall cane stool, and in
+the other the captain's barometer, which had hung just within the upper
+door; he having involuntarily caught hold of both these articles with a
+view of saving himself. "While his head, as he tumbled, went nicketty
+nock," his countenance, for once, assumed a new expression, and the
+change from its usual unvarying sameness was so striking, that, combined
+with his ludicrous attitude, it set us all to laughing. The waiters ran
+forward and assisted him to rise; and it was then found that the stool
+and the barometer had been the greatest sufferers; one having lost a
+leg, and the other being so shattered that the stair-carpet was covered
+with globules of quicksilver. However, he retired to his state-room, and
+whether or not he was seen again before next morning, I cannot
+positively undertake to say.
+
+On the edge of the Gulf Stream, we had a day of entire calm, when "there
+was not a breath the blue wave to curl." A thin veil of haziness
+somewhat softened the fires of the American sun (as it was now called by
+the European passengers), and we passed the whole day on deck, in a
+delightful state of idle enjoyment; gazing on the inhabitants of the
+deep, that, like ourselves, seemed to be taking a holiday. Dolphins,
+horse-mackerel, and porpoises were sporting round the vessel, and the
+flying-fish, "with brine still dropping from its wings," was darting up
+into the sun-light; while flocks of petrels, their black plumage tinged
+with flame-colour, seemed to rest on the surface of the water; and the
+nautilus, "the native pilot of his little bark," glided gayly along the
+dimpling mirror that reflected his tiny oars and gauzy sail. We fished
+up large clusters of sea-weed, among which were some beautiful specimens
+of a delicate purple colour, which, when viewed through a microscope,
+glittered like silver, and were covered with little shell-fish so minute
+as to be invisible to the naked eye.
+
+It was a lovely day. The lieutenant and his family were all on deck, and
+looked happy. That gentleman looked as usual. Towards evening, a breeze
+sprung up directly fair, and filled the sails, which all day had been
+clinging idly to the masts; and before midnight we were wafted along at
+the rate of nine knots an hour, "while round the waves phosphoric
+brightness broke," the ship seeming, as she cleaved the foam, to draw
+after her in her wake a long train of stars.
+
+Next day, we continued to proceed rapidly, with a fair wind, which we
+knew would soon bring us to the end of our voyage. The ladies' cabin was
+now littered with trunks and boxes, brought from the baggage-room that
+we might select from them such articles as we thought we should require
+when we went on shore.
+
+But we were soon attracted to the deck, to see the always interesting
+experiment of sounding with the deep-sea lead. To our great joy, it came
+up (though from almost immeasurable depth) with a little sand adhering
+to the cake of tallow at the bottom of the plummet. The breeze was
+increasing, and Mr. Overslaugh, whose pretensions to nautical knowledge
+were considered very shallow by his fellow amateurs, remarked to my
+husband: "If this wind holds, I should not wonder if we are aground in
+less than two hour."
+
+Before Mr. Fenton could reply, Mrs. Cummings exclaimed: "Aground, did
+you say!"--And she scuttled away with greater alacrity than we had ever
+seen her evince on any former occasion. Some time after, on entering the
+ladies' cabin, I found that the old dame, with her usual misconstruction
+of sea-phrases, had rejoicingly dressed herself in a very showy suit
+prepared for her first landing in America, and was now in the act of
+buttoning at the ankles a pair of frilled leggings to "go aground in,"
+as she informed me.
+
+I explained to her her mistake, at which she was wofully disappointed,
+and proportionately alarmed, ejaculating--"Oh! if I was only back
+again--anywhere at all--even in the very out-scouts of London--rather
+than stay another night in this dreadful ship!--To think, that after all
+my sufferings at sea, I may be blown headforemost ashore, and drowned on
+dry land at last!"
+
+However, I succeeded in calming her terrors; and seeing her engaged in
+taking off her finery to resume the black silk she had worn during the
+voyage, I left Mrs. Cummings, and returned to my husband. The wind,
+though still fair, had decreased towards the close of the day, and was
+now mild and balmy. When I saw the white wings of a flight of curlews
+glancing against the bright crimson glories of the sunset sky, I could
+not help saying, "those birds will reach their nests at twilight, and
+their nests are in America."
+
+We remained on deck the whole evening, believing it probably the last we
+should spend together; and the close companionship of four weeks in the
+very circumscribed limits of a ship, had made us seem like one family.
+
+We talked of the morrow, and I forgot that that gentleman was among us,
+till I saw him leave the deck to retire for the night. The thought then
+struck me, that another day, and we should cease perhaps to remember his
+existence.
+
+I laid my head on my pillow with the understanding that land would be
+discovered before morning, and I found it impossible to sleep. Mr.
+Fenton went on deck about midnight, and remained there till dawn. What
+American, when returning to his native country, and almost in view of
+its shores, is not reminded of that night, when Columbus stood on the
+prow of the Santa Maria, and watched in breathless silence with his
+impatient companions, for the first glimpse of the long wished-for
+land--that memorable night, which gave a new impulse to the world
+already known, and to that which was about to be discovered!
+
+Near one o'clock, I heard a voice announcing the light on the highlands
+of Neversink, and in a short time all the gentlemen were on deck. At
+day-break Mr. Fenton came to ask me if I would rise, and see the morning
+dawn upon our own country. We had taken a pilot on board at two o'clock,
+had a fine fair breeze to carry us into the bay of New York, and there
+was every probability of our being on shore in a few hours. When I
+reached the deck, tears came into my eyes as I leaned on my husband's
+arm, and saw the light of Sandy Hook shining brilliantly in the dimness
+of the closing night, and emulating the morning star as it sparkled
+above the rosy streak that was brightening in the eastern horizon. We
+gazed till the rising sun sent up his first rays from behind the
+kindling and empurpled ocean, and our native shore lay clear and
+distinct before us.
+
+Soon after sunrise we were visited by a news-boat, when there was an
+exchange of papers, and much to inquire and much to tell.
+
+We were going rapidly through the Narrows, when the bell rung for
+breakfast, which Captain Santlow had ordered at an early hour, as we had
+all been up before daylight. Chancing to look towards his accustomed
+seat, I missed that gentleman, and inquired after him of the
+captain.--"Oh!" he replied, "that gentleman went on shore in the
+news-boat; did you not see him depart? He bowed all round, before he
+went down the side."
+
+"No," was the general reply; "we did not see him go." In truth, we had
+all been too much interested in hearing, reading, and talking of the
+news brought by the boat.
+
+"Then he is gone for ever," exclaimed Mrs. Cummings--"and we shall never
+know his name."
+
+"Come, Captain Santlow," said Mr. Fenton, "try to recollect it.--'Let it
+not,' as Grumio says, 'die in oblivion, while we return to our graves
+inexperienced in it.'"
+
+Captain Santlow smiled, and remained silent. "Now, captain," said Miss
+Audley, "I will not quit the ship till you tell me that gentleman's
+name.--I cannot hold out a greater threat to you, as I know you have had
+a weary time of it since I have been under your charge. Come, I set not
+my foot on shore till I know the name of that gentleman, and also why
+you cannot refrain from smiling whenever you are asked about it."
+
+"Well, then," replied Captain Santlow, "though his name is a very pretty
+one when you get it said, there is a little awkwardness in speaking it.
+So I thought I would save myself and my passengers the trouble. And
+partly for that reason, and partly to tease you all, I have withheld it
+from your knowledge during the voyage. But I can assure you he is a
+baronet."
+
+"A baronet!" cried Miss Audley; "I wish I had known that before, I
+should certainly have made a dead set at him. A baronet would have been
+far better worth the trouble of a flirtation, than you, Mr. Williams, or
+you, Mr. Sutton, or you, Mr. Belfield, or any of the other gentlemen
+that I have been amusing myself with during the voyage."
+
+"A baronet!" exclaimed Mrs. Cummings; "well, really--and have I been
+four weeks in the same ship with a baronet--and sitting at the same
+table with him,--and often talking to him face to face?--I wonder what
+Mrs. Thimbleby of Threadneedle street would say if she knew that I am
+now acquainted with a baronet!"
+
+"But what is his name, captain?" said Mr. Fenton; "still you do not tell
+us."
+
+"His name," answered the captain, "is Sir St. John St. Leger."
+
+"Sir St. John St. Leger!" was repeated by each of the company.
+
+"Yes," resumed Captain Santlow--"and you see how difficult it is to say
+it smoothly. There is more sibilation in it than in any name I
+know.--Was I not right in keeping it from you till the voyage was over,
+and thus sparing you the trouble of articulating it, and myself the
+annoyance of hearing it? See, here it is in writing."
+
+The captain took his manifest out of his pocket-book, and showed us the
+words, "Sir St. John St. Leger, of Sevenoaks, Kent."
+
+"Pho!" said Mrs. Cummings. "Where's the trouble in speaking that name,
+if you only knew the right way--I have heard it a hundred times--and
+even seen it in the newspapers. This must be the very gentleman that my
+cousin George's wife is always talking about. She has a brother that
+lives near his estate, a topping apothecary. Why, 'tis easy enough to
+say his name, if you say it as we do in England."
+
+"And how is that?" asked the captain; "what can you make of Sir St. John
+St. Leger?"
+
+"Why, Sir Singeon Sillinger, to be sure," replied Mrs. Cummings; "I am
+confident he would have answered to that name. Sir Singeon Sillinger of
+Sunnock--cousin George's wife's brother lives close by Sunnock in a
+yellow house with a red door."
+
+"And have I," said the captain, laughing, "so carefully kept his name to
+myself, during the whole passage, for fear we should have had to call
+him Sir St. John St. Leger, when all the while we might have said Sir
+Singeon Sillinger?"
+
+"To be sure you might," replied Mrs. Cummings, looking proud of the
+opportunity of displaying her superior knowledge of something. "With all
+your striving after sense you Americans are a very ignorant people,
+particularly of the right way of speaking English. Since I have been on
+board, I have heard you all say the oddest things--though I thought
+there would be no use in trying to set you right. The other day there
+was Mr. Williams talking of the church of St. Mary le bon--instead of
+saying Marrow bone. Then Mr. Belfield says, Lord Cholmondeley, instead
+of Lord Chumley, and Col. Sinclair, instead of Col. Sinkler; and Mr.
+Sutton says Lady Beauchamp, instead of Lady Beachum; and you all say
+Birmingham, instead of Brummagem. The truth is, you know nothing about
+English names. Now that name, Trollope, that you all sneer at so much,
+and think so very low, why Trollope is quite genteel in England, and so
+is Hussey. The Trollopes and Husseys belong to great families. But I
+have no doubt of finding many things that are very elegant in England,
+counted quite vulgar in America, owing to the ignorance of your people.
+For my part, I was particularly brought up to despise all manner of
+ignorance."
+
+In a short time a steamboat came alongside into which we removed
+ourselves, accompanied by the captain and the letter bags; and we
+proceeded up to the city, where Mr. Fenton and myself were met on the
+wharf, I need not tell how, and by whom.
+
+Captain Santlow informed us during our little trip in the boat, that
+soon after breakfast, the steward had brought him a letter which he had
+just found on the pillow in that gentleman's birth. It was directed to
+Lieutenant Lynford. The captain immediately went forward and presented
+it to him, and the poor officer was so overcome after opening it, that
+he could not forbear making known to Captain Santlow that it contained a
+draft for five hundred dollars on a house in New York, and a few lines
+signed St. John St. Leger, requesting Lieutenant Lynford to oblige the
+writer by making use of that sum to assist in settling his family in
+Canada.
+
+We were now all warm in our praise of that gentleman's generosity. And
+Mrs. Cummings recollected that she had heard from her cousin George's
+wife that her brother of Sunnock often said that, though he never spoke
+if he could help it, nobody did kinder things in his own quiet way than
+Sir Singeon Sillinger.
+
+
+
+
+THE SERENADES.
+
+     "Sleep you, or wake you, lady bright?"--LEWIS.
+
+
+"And now tell me the reason of your giving us the slip on Tuesday
+night," said Charles Cavender to Frederick Merrill, as they came out of
+court together, and walked into the shade of the beautiful double row of
+linden trees that interlace their branches in front of the Philadelphia
+State House, perfuming the atmosphere of early summer with the fragrance
+of their delicate yellow blossoms.
+
+"To tell you the truth," replied Merrill, "I never had much fancy for
+these regular serenading parties. And as, on Tuesday night, I had a
+presentiment that the course of ours was not going to run smoothly, and
+as I found it impossible to play with such a second as Dick
+Doubletongue, I resigned my flute to Walton, and went home for my
+guitar, being very much in the notion of taking a ramble on my own
+account, and giving a little unpretending music to several pretty girls
+of my own acquaintance."
+
+"Ah! that guitar!" exclaimed Cavender: "Since you first heard Segura, no
+Spaniard can be more completely fascinated with the instrument. And, to
+do Segura justice, he has made an excellent guitar player of you, and
+cultivated your voice with great success."
+
+"But how did you proceed after I left you?" asked Merrill.
+
+"Oh! very well!" replied Cavender; "only that infernal piano, that Harry
+Fingerley insisted on being brought along with us, was pretty
+considerable of a bore."
+
+"So I thought," responded Merrill; "to me there appeared something too
+absurd in conveying through the streets at night so cumbrous an
+instrument--carrying it on a hand-barrow, like porters."
+
+"Well," observed Cavender, "there were, however, enough of us to relieve
+each other every square. By-the-bye, I suspect that your true reason for
+deserting was to avoid taking your turn in carrying the piano."
+
+"You are not far wrong," replied Merrill, smiling.
+
+"It was a ridiculous business," resumed Cavender. "As Fingerley cannot
+touch an instrument without his notes, and always chooses to show off in
+difficult pieces, a lantern was brought along, which one of us was
+obliged to hold for him whenever he played. Unluckily, a music stool had
+been forgotten, and poor Harry, who, you know, is one of the tallest
+striplings in town, was obliged to play kneeling: and he wore the knees
+of his pantaloons threadbare, in getting through a long concerto of
+Beethoven's, before Miss Flickwire's door."
+
+"To what place did you go after I left you?" inquired Merrill.
+
+"Oh! to serenade that saucy flirt, Miss Lawless, Frank Hazeldon's flame.
+We ranged ourselves in front of the house, set down the piano and its
+elegant supporter, the hand-barrow, upon the pavement, and all struck up
+the Band March, with our eyes turned upwards, expecting that we should
+see the shutters gently open, and the pretty faces of Lucy Lawless and
+her two sisters slyly peeping down at us. But we looked in vain. No
+shutters opened, and no faces peeped."
+
+"Perhaps," said Merrill, "the family were all out of town?"
+
+"No, no," replied Cavender; "a bright light shone through the fan-glass
+over the door, which opened at last, just as we had concluded the Band
+March, and out came Bogle, followed by two or three other waiters of
+rather a more decided colour, who stood a little aloof. 'Gentlemen,'
+said Bogle, 'Miss Lawless desires her respects and compliments to you
+all, and wishes me to inquire if there is one Mr. Hazeldon among
+you?'--'Yes; I am Mr. Hazeldon,' said Frank, stepping out.--'Then,'
+resumed Bogle, with his usual flourish of hand, 'Miss Lawless presents
+her further respects and compliments, and requests me to make you
+acquainted that she has a party to-night, and as Frank Johnson was
+pre-engaged, and could not come, she desires you will play a few
+cotillions for the company to dance--and if there are any more
+gentlemen-fiddlers present, she will thank them to play too.'
+
+"There was a general burst of mingled indignation and laughter. Some of
+the serenaders advanced to put Bogle into the gutter, but he very
+naturally resisted, justly declaring that he ought not to be punished
+for obeying the lady's orders, and delivering the message
+systematically, as he termed it.
+
+"The windows of the front parlour were now thrown open, and Miss Lawless
+with her sisters appeared at them, dressed in lace and flowers. Both
+parlours were lighted up with chandeliers, and filled with company.
+
+"'Mr. Hazeldon,' said Miss Lawless, 'you and your friends have come
+precisely at the right time. Nothing could be more apropos than your
+arrival. We were all engaged with the ice-creams and jellies while you
+were playing the Band March (which, to do you justice, you performed
+very respectably), or we should have sent Bogle out to you before. Pray,
+Mr. Hazeldon, give us "Love was once a little boy;"--it makes an
+excellent cotillion--and we shall then be able to decide between the
+merits of your band and that of Mr. Francis Johnson.'--'But we are all
+gentlemen, madam,' said the simple Bob Midgely, 'and this is a
+serenade.'--'The more convenient,' replied Miss Lawless, who is really a
+very handsome girl; 'a serenade may thus be made to answer a double
+purpose--killing two birds with one stone, in proverbial parlance.'
+
+"Poor Frank Hazeldon was so much annoyed as to be incapable of reply,
+being also vexed and mortified at having no invitation to his
+lady-love's party.
+
+"But I went forward, and said to Miss Lawless, that if she and her
+friends would come out, and perform their cotillions on the pavement, we
+would have much pleasure in playing for them. To this she replied, that
+she now perceived we had no tambourine with us, and that a dance without
+that enlivening instrument must always be a very spiritless affair.
+Therefore she would excuse, for the present, the services of Mr.
+Hazeldon and his musical friends.
+
+"She then closed the window, and we bowed and moved off; resolved that
+for the future we would take care to avoid the awkward _contre-tems_ of
+serenading a lady when she is in the act of having a party. Frank
+Hazeldon loudly protested against the insolence of his dulcinea, 'who,'
+said he, 'would not dare to say and do such things, only that she knows
+herself to be (as she certainly is), the most beautiful creature on the
+face of the earth.' However, he averred that he had done with Miss
+Lawless entirely, and would scrupulously avoid all further acquaintance
+with her, now that she had not only affronted himself, but his friends.
+We advised him to consider it not so deeply."
+
+"He seems to have taken your advice," observed Merrill; "for there he
+is, just turning the corner of Sixth street with her--she laughing at
+him as usual, and he, as usual, thankful to be laughed at by her. But
+where else did you go?"
+
+"We went to two other places," replied Cavender; "where nothing
+particular happened, except that at one of them the ladies threw flowers
+down to us. Afterwards, Dick Doubletongue proposed our going into Market
+street to serenade two very pretty girls, the daughters of a wealthy
+tradesman, who, being an old-fashioned man, persevered in the
+convenience of living in the same house in which he kept his store.
+Unluckily, it was the night before market-day. We began with 'Life let
+us cherish,' which Dick assured us was a special favourite with the
+young ladies--and our music soon aroused the market-people, some of whom
+were sleeping in their carts that stood in the street, others, wrapped
+in coverlets, were bivouacking on the stalls in the market-house, to be
+ready on the spot for early morning. They started up, jumped down,
+gathered around us, and exclaimed--'Well, did ever!'--'Now, that's what
+I call music!'--'There, Polly, there's the right sort of fiddling for
+you!'--'Well, this beats _me_!'--'Law, Suz!--how they do play it
+up!'--and other equally gratifying expressions. And one woman called out
+to her husband--'Here, daddy, take up the baby, and bring him out of the
+cart, and let him hear some music-playing, now he has a chance.' So the
+baby was brought, and daddy held him close up to the flute-players, and
+the baby cried, as all babies should do when they are taken up in the
+night to hear music.
+
+"To crown all, the concert was joined by a dozen calves, who awoke from
+their uneasy slumbers in the carts, and began bleating in chorus; and by
+the crowing of various fowls, and the quacking of various ducks that
+were tied by the legs in pairs, and lying under the stalls. Every moment
+fresh market-carts came jolting and rattling over the stones, and we
+would have gone away at the conclusion of 'Life let us cherish,' only
+that Dick begged us to remain till we saw some indications of the
+ladies being awake and listening to us--a circumstance always gratifying
+to serenaders. While we were in full performance of 'The Goddess Diana,'
+we saw a light in a room up stairs, a window was opened, and there
+appeared at it two young ladies, who had evidently taken the trouble to
+arrange their hair, and attire themselves very becomingly in pink gowns
+and white collars, for the purpose of doing honour to the musicians and
+themselves. After this, we could do no less than play another of their
+favourites. When it was finished, we bowed up to the window, and they
+curtsied down to us, and the market-women approved, saying--'Law, now,
+if that a'n't pretty!--all making their manners to one another!--well,
+if we a'n't in luck to-night!'"
+
+"The combination of noises that accompanied your Market street
+serenade," observed Merrill, "reminds me of a ridiculous incident that
+occurred one night, when I and my flute were out with Tom Clearnote and
+Sam Startlem; Clearnote having his Kent bugle, and Startlem making his
+first public essay on the trombone, which he had taken a fancy to learn.
+We went to a house in Chestnut street, where there were three charming
+girls, who we soon saw had all properly disposed themselves for
+listening at the windows. We commenced with the March in Masaniello.
+Unfortunately, Sam Startlem, from having a cold, or some other cause,
+and being but a novice on the trombone, found it impossible to fill the
+instrument, or to produce any sound but a sort of hollow croak, that
+went exactly like 'Fire! fire!'--the cry which so often frights our town
+from its propriety.
+
+"Just then the watchman was passing with a dog that always followed him,
+and that had a habit of howling whenever he heard the alarm of fire. On
+meeting the strange sounds, half guttural, half nasal, from Startlem's
+trombone, he very naturally mistook them for the announcement of a
+conflagration, and set up his customary yell.[83] In a few minutes, the
+boys issued from all quarters, according to their practice, by day and
+by night whenever there is anything to be seen or heard that promises a
+mob. The supposed cry of fire was reiterated through the street; and
+spread all round. Presently two or three engines came scampering along,
+bells ringing, trumpets braying, torches flaring, and men shouting--all
+running they knew not whither; for as yet the bell of the State House
+had not tolled out its unerring signal.
+
+[Footnote 83: Fact.]
+
+"In the general confusion, we thought it best to cease playing, and
+quietly decamp, being ashamed (for the honour of our musicians) to
+inform the firemen of the real cause of the mistake; so we gladly stole
+out of the crowd, and turned into a private street.--But excuse me for
+interrupting you.--Finish your narrative."
+
+"There is little more to be said," resumed Cavender. "By the time we had
+afforded sufficient amusement to the market-people, the moon had long
+since set, and the stars begun to fade. So we all put up our
+instruments, and wearily sought our dwelling-places;--Harry Fingerley
+wisely hiring relays of black men to carry home the piano.
+
+"But we have been talking long enough under these trees," continued
+Cavender; "let us walk up Chestnut street together, and tell me what
+befell yourself while serenading according to the fashion of Old
+Castile. Of course, you went first to Miss Osbrook?"
+
+"I did," replied Merrill, smiling, and colouring a little; "and I played
+and sung for her, in my very best style, several of my very best songs.
+And I was rewarded by obtaining a glimpse of a graceful white figure at
+the window, as she half unclosed it, and seeing a white hand (half
+hidden by a ruffle) resting gently on one of the bars of the Venetian
+shutter--and as the moon was then shining brightly down, I knew that my
+divine Emily also saw _me_.
+
+"From thence I went to the residence of a blooming Quaker girl, who, I
+understood from a mutual friend, had expressed a great wish for a
+serenade. She came to the window, and was soon joined by an old nurse,
+who, I found by their conversation, had been kindly awakened by the
+considerate Rebecca, and invited by her to come to the front room and
+listen to the music; on which the half-dozing matron made no comment,
+but that 'sometimes the tune went away up, and sometimes it went right
+down.'
+
+"Having commenced with 'The Soldier's Bride,' I was somewhat surprised
+at the martial propensities of the fair Quakeress, who in a loud whisper
+to her companion, first wished that Frederick Merrill (for she had at
+once recognised me) would play and sing 'The Soldier's Tear,' and then
+'The Soldier's Gratitude.' When I had accomplished both these songs, I
+heard her tell the old woman, that she was sure 'The Battle of Prague'
+would go well on the guitar. This performance, however, I did not think
+proper to undertake, and I thereupon prepared to withdraw, to the
+audible regret of the lovely Rebecca.
+
+"As I directed my steps homeward, I happened to pass the house of a
+young lady whose family and mine have long been somewhat acquainted, and
+who has acquired (I will not say how deservedly) a most unfortunate
+_sobriquet_. At a fancy ball, last winter, she appeared in the character
+of Sterne's Maria, dressed in a white jacket and petticoat, with vine
+leaves in her hair, and a flageolet suspended by a green riband over one
+shoulder. Her mother, a very silly and illiterate woman, announced her
+as 'Strange Maria'--absurdly introducing her by that title, and saying
+repeatedly through the evening to gentlemen as well as to ladies--'Have
+you seen my daughter yet?--Have you seen Strange Maria?--There she is,
+sitting in that corner, leaning her head upon her hand--it is a part of
+her character to sit so--and when she is tired, she gets up and dances.
+She appears to-night as Strange Maria, and it suits exactly, as her name
+is really Maria. Her aunt, Mrs. Fondlesheep, chose the character for her
+out of some book, and Madame Gaubert made the jacket.'
+
+"From that night, the poor girl has gone unconsciously by this foolish
+nickname. And, unfortunately, she is almost as much of a simpleton as
+her mother, though she was educated at a great boarding-school, and said
+a great many long lessons.
+
+"I took my seat on the marble carriage-step in front of the house, and
+the moon having declined, I played and sung 'Look out upon the stars, my
+love.' Soon after I commenced, I saw a window in the second story thrown
+open, and the literal Maria doing exactly as she was bid, in earnestly
+surveying the stars--turning her head about that she might take a view
+of them in every direction.
+
+"I then began the beautiful serenading song of 'Lilla, come down to me,'
+with no other motive than that of hearing myself sing it. At the
+conclusion of the air, the front door softly opened, and Strange Maria
+appeared at it, dressed in a black silk frock, with a bonnet and shawl,
+and carrying a bundle under her arm.
+
+"She looked mysterious, and beckoned to me. I approached her, somewhat
+surprised. She put the bundle into my hands, and laying her finger on
+her lips, whispered--'All's safe--we can get off now--I have just had
+time to put up a change of clothes, and you must carry them for me.'
+
+"'My dear Miss Maria,' said I, 'what is it you mean? Excuse me for
+saying that I do not exactly comprehend you.'
+
+"'Now, don't pretend to be so stupid,' was the damsel's reply; 'did you
+not invite me in the song to come down and run away with you? You sung
+it so plain that I heard every word. There could not be a better
+opportunity, for ma's in the country, and there is never any danger of
+waking pa.'
+
+"'Really, Miss Maria,' said I, 'allow me to say that you have totally
+misunderstood me.'
+
+"'No such thing,' persisted the young lady. 'Did I not hear you over and
+over again say, "Lilla, come down to me?" Though I never was allowed to
+see a play or read a novel, I am not such a fool that I cannot
+understand when people want to run away with me. By Lilla you of course
+meant me, just as much as if you had said Maria.'
+
+"'On my honour,' I expostulated, 'you are entirely mistaken. Only permit
+me to explain'--
+
+"'Nonsense,' interrupted the lady; 'the song was plain enough. And so I
+got ready, and stole down stairs as quickly as possible. Alderman
+Pickwick always sits up late at night, and rises before day to write for
+the newspapers. He lives just round the corner, and never objects to
+marry any couple that comes to him. So let's be off.'
+
+"'I entreat you,' said I, 'to listen to me for one moment.'
+
+"'Did you bring a ring with you?' continued the fair eloper, whose
+present volubility surprised me no less than her pertinacity, having
+hitherto considered her as one of the numerous young ladies that are
+never expected to talk.
+
+"'A ring!' I repeated; 'you must pardon me, but I really had no such
+thought.'
+
+"'How careless!' exclaimed Maria. 'Don't you know that plain rings are
+the only sort used at weddings? I wish I had pulled one off the window
+curtain before I came down. I dare say, Squire Pickwick would never
+notice whether it was brass or gold.'
+
+"'There is no need of troubling yourself about a ring,' said I.
+
+"'True,' replied she, 'Quakers get married without, and why should not
+we? But come, we must not stand parleying here. You can't think, Mr.
+Merrill, how glad I am that you came for me before any one else. I would
+much rather run away with you, than with Mr. Simpson, or Mr. Tomlins, or
+Mr. Carter. Pa' says if ever he does let me marry, he'll choose for me
+himself, and I have no doubt he'll choose some ugly fright. Fathers are
+such bad judges of people.'
+
+"'Miss Maria,' said I, 'you mistake me entirely, and this error must be
+rectified at once. I must positively undeceive you.'
+
+"At that moment, the door half opened--a hand was put out, and seizing
+the arm of Maria, drew her forcibly inside. The door was then shut, and
+double locked; and I heard her receding voice, loudly exclaiming--'Oh!
+pa'--now, indeed, pa'--who'd have thought, pa', that you were listening
+all the time!'
+
+"I stood motionless with joy and surprise at this opportune release--and
+I recollected that once during our scene on the door-step, I had thought
+I heard footsteps in the entry.
+
+"Presently the father put his head out of his own window and said to
+me--'Young man, you may go, I have locked her up.'--I took him at his
+word and departed, not a little pleased at having been extricated in so
+summary a way from the dilemma in which the absurdity of Strange Maria
+had involved me."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+About a week after this conversation, Cavender inquired of his friend,
+who was visiting him at his office, if he had again been out solus on a
+serenading excursion.
+
+"No," replied Merrill, "I have had enough of that nonsense. There is no
+better cure for folly, and particularly for romantic folly, than a good
+burlesque; and I find I have been parodied most ridiculously by that
+prince of fools, old Pharaby, the bachelor in an auburn wig and corsets,
+that lives next door to Miss Osbrook. This said Pharaby assumes a
+penchant for my opposite neighbour, the rich and handsome young widow,
+Mrs. Westwyn. Taking a hint from my serenading Emily Osbrook, but far
+outdoing me, he has every night since presented himself under the
+windows of the fair widow, and tinkled a guitar--which instrument he
+professes to have learned during a three months' consulship in one of
+the Spanish West India Islands. He plays Spanish, but sings Italian; and
+with a voice and manner to make Paggi tear his hair, and Pucci drop down
+dead.
+
+"Mrs. Westwyn, whom I escorted home last evening from a visit to Miss
+Osbrook, was congratulating herself on the appearance of rain; as it
+would of course prevent her from being disturbed that night by her usual
+serenader, the regularity of whose musical visitations had become, she
+said, absolutely intolerable.
+
+"About twelve o'clock, however, I heard the customary noise in front of
+Mrs. Westwyn's house, notwithstanding that the rain had set in, and was
+falling very fast. I looked out, and beheld the persevering inamorato
+standing upright beneath the shelter of an umbrella held over his head
+by a black man, and twitching the strings of his guitar to the air of
+'Dalla gioja.' I was glad when the persecuted widow, losing all
+patience, raised her sash, and in a peremptory tone, commanded him to
+depart and trouble her no more; threatening, if he ever again repeated
+the offence, to have him taken into custody by the watchman. Poor
+Pharaby was struck aghast; and being too much disconcerted to offer an
+apology, he stood motionless for a few moments, and then replacing his
+guitar in its case, and tucking it under his arm, he stole off round the
+corner, his servant following close behind with the umbrella. From that
+moment I abjured serenades."
+
+"What! all sorts?" inquired Cavender.
+
+"All," replied Merrill--"both gregarious and solitary. The truth is, I
+this morning obtained the consent of the loveliest of women to make me
+the happiest of men, this day three months; and therefore I have
+something else to think of than strumming guitars or blowing flutes
+about the streets at night."
+
+"I congratulate you, most sincerely," said Cavender, shaking hands with
+his friend; "Miss Osbrook is certainly, as the phrase is, possessed of
+every qualification to render the marriage state happy. And though I and
+my other associates in harmony have not so good an excuse for leaving
+off our musical rambles, yet I believe we shall, at least, give them up
+till next summer--and perhaps, by that time, we may have devised some
+other means of obtaining the good graces of the ladies."
+
+"But apropos to music," continued Cavender; "if I can obtain my sister's
+permission, I will show you a letter she received some time since from a
+young friend of hers with whom she is engaged in a whimsical
+correspondence under fictitious names, somewhat in imitation of the
+ladies of the last century. Both girls have been reading the Spectator,
+and have consequently taken a fancy to the Addisonian plan of
+occasionally throwing their ideas into the form of dreams or visions;
+addressing each other as Ariella Shadow and Ombrelina Vapour."
+
+Cavender then withdrew to his sister's parlour, and in a few minutes
+returned with the letter, which he put into Merrill's hand, telling him
+to read it while he finished looking over some deeds that had been left
+with him for examination.
+
+Merrill opened the letter, and perused its contents, which we will
+present to our readers under the title of
+
+
+A DREAM OF SONGS.
+
+
+     MY DEAR OMBRELINA,
+
+     Last evening, on my return from Melania Medley's musical party,
+     where nothing was played or sung that had been out more than two or
+     three weeks, I could not but reflect on the fate that attends even
+     the most meritorious compositions of the sons of song: honoured for
+     awhile with a short-lived popularity, and then allowed to float
+     down the stream of time unnoticed and forgotten--or only remembered
+     as things too entirely _passé_ to be listened to by "_ears
+     polite_"--or even mentioned in their presence. It is true that as
+     soon as a song becomes popular it ceases to be fashionable; but is
+     not its popularity an evidence of its merit, or at least of its
+     possessing melody and originality, and of its sounds being such as
+     to give pleasure to the general ear? Who ever heard a dull and
+     insipid tune played or sung in the streets, or whistled by the
+     boys?
+
+     Falling asleep with these notions in my head, they suggested a
+     dream in which I imagined myself visited by impersonations of
+     almost innumerable songs, many of which had been "pretty fellows in
+     their day," but have now given place to others whose chief
+     characteristic is that of having no character at all.
+
+     The following outline may give you, dear Ombrelina, a slight idea
+     of my vision, making due allowance for the confusion, incoherence,
+     and absurdity that are always found in those pictures that
+     imagination, when loosened from the control of reason, presents to
+     the mind's eye of the slumberer.
+
+     "I dreamt that I dwelt in marble halls," being mistress of a
+     handsome and spacious mansion in a fine romantic country, whose
+     hills and woodlands sloped down towards the ocean. I seemed to be
+     duly prepared for the reception of a numerous party of visiters,
+     whom I recognised intuitively, as soon as I saw them, for the
+     heroes and heroines of certain well-known songs--also being
+     familiar with the characters of many of them from my intimate
+     acquaintance with Aunt Balladina's old music-books.
+
+     The earliest of my guests were some much-esteemed friends,
+     descendants of the "Scots wha hae wi' Wallace bled"--they wore "The
+     Tartan Plaidie" and "The White Cockade"--and they looked as if they
+     had all been "Over the Water to Charlie." I felt particularly
+     honoured by the presence of that gallant chieftain, "Kinloch of
+     Kinloch," who, for the express purpose of making me a visit, had
+     relinquished for a time his grouse-shooting excursions "O'er the
+     moor among the heather"--had given up his musings on "The banks and
+     braes o' Bonnie Doon," and bade for awhile "Adieu, a heartwarm fond
+     adieu" to "The Birks of Aberfeldy."
+
+     Next arrived the ancient laird "Logie o' Buchan;" and then "Auld
+     Robin Gray" came tottering along supported by his pensive daughter
+     Alice, and by "Duncan Gray," his laughter-loving son, well known
+     among the lasses as "The Braw Wooer." The Gray family took their
+     seats at "The Ingle Side," where old "John Anderson" and his wife
+     had already established themselves close together in two
+     arm-chairs. "Logie o' Buchan" joined them; but his habits being
+     somewhat taciturn, it was not till they talked of "Auld lang syne"
+     that he was induced to mingle in the conversation--yet the ice once
+     broken, he was as merry in his reminiscences as either of his
+     companions.
+
+     Robin Gray reminded the laird of Buchan of his elopement with that
+     extreme blonde the "Lassie wi' the lint-white locks," who, when
+     only "Within a mile of Edinburgh," had given him the slip and ran
+     off with "Jockey to the Fair." The laird retaliated by laughing at
+     Robin for having been one of the six-and-thirty suitors of that
+     ugliest of heiresses, "Tibby Fouller o' the Glen." John Anderson
+     was made to recollect his having been deserted in his youth by the
+     beautiful but mercenary "Katrine Ogie," who afterwards became
+     "Roy's wife of Aldivalloch," and in taking the carle and leaving
+     her Johnnie, furnished another illustration of the fallacy of the
+     remark, "Oh! say not woman's heart is bought."
+
+     These old stories were at first very amusing, but they continued so
+     long and with so many episodes and digressions, that we at length
+     discovered "We were a' noddin." Finally they were interrupted by
+     the arrival of "Bonnie Jean," "The Lass of Patie's Mill," "Bessie
+     Bell and Mary Gray," and other "Flowers o' the Forest," who were
+     following that gay deceiver "Robin Adair," himself a verification
+     of the well-known fact that "Though love is warm awhile, soon it
+     grows cold."
+
+     Robin Adair, whose mind, after all, seems to have run chiefly on
+     balls and plays (a visit to Paris having quite spoiled him for the
+     society of "The Braes of Balquither"), had first made love to the
+     unfortunate "Highland Mary," and then gayly and heartlessly quitted
+     her with that useless piece of advice which nobody ever took, "Sigh
+     not for love." Next he paid his devoirs to "Jessie the flower o'
+     Dumblane," as he met her one morning "Comin' thro' the rye." And he
+     had subsequently entered into a flirtation with "Dumbarton's bonny
+     Belle"--a young lady whose literary and scientific achievements had
+     lately procured for her the unique title of "The Blue Bell of
+     Scotland." But it was whispered in the most authentic circles that
+     she had recently frightened him away by asking him that puzzling
+     question "Why does azure deck the sky?"
+
+     Yet, however the follies and inconstancies of Robin Adair might
+     have rendered him a favourite with the ladies (who often tapped him
+     with their fans, saying, "Fly away pretty moth"), he did not seem
+     to be held in equal esteem by his manly compatriots. On his
+     presuming to clap "Young Lochinvar" on the shoulder, and accost him
+     as "Friend of my soul," that high-spirited chieftain immediately
+     proceeded to "Draw the sword o' Scotland," with a view of
+     chastising his familiarity. But "Swift as the flash," Robin eluded
+     the blow, and danced out of the room singing "I'd be a Butterfly."
+
+     At the desire of several of the ladies, I accompanied them to the
+     veranda to look at the prospect of the beautiful surrounding
+     country, and our attention was soon arrested by notes of distant
+     music.
+
+     "What airy sounds!" was our unanimous exclamation; and we almost
+     fancied that they must have proceeded from the "Harp of the winds,"
+     till presently we heard the tramp of horses, and beheld a numerous
+     company descending by its circuitous path the hill that rose in
+     front of the house. As "I saw them on their winding way," I had no
+     difficulty in recognising each individual of the troop.
+
+     Foremost came "The Baron of Mowbray" mounted on his "Arab Steed,"
+     and accompanied by a "Captive Knight" whom he had rescued from a
+     Saracen prison, and I soon discovered that it was "Dunois the young
+     and brave." Dunois was followed by his accomplished but wilful
+     page, "The Minstrel Boy," who, having broken his harp in a fit of
+     spite, was obliged to substitute an inferior instrument, and to
+     strike "The Light Guitar," which he retained as "The Legacy" of a
+     "Gallant Troubadour" who had fallen beside him in battle, and of
+     whose untimely fate he had sent notice to his "Isabelle" by a
+     "Carrier Pigeon."
+
+     Behind the youthful minstrel strode a "Happy Tawny Moor" performing
+     powerfully on "The Tartar Drum."
+
+     "The Young Son of Chivalry" brought with him a beautiful damsel
+     whom he had found in a "Bower of Roses by Bendameer's Stream"--and
+     whose eyes, resembling those of "The Light Gazelle," identified her
+     as "Araby's Daughter." "Rich and rare were the gems she wore;" and
+     she had testified her readiness to "Fly to the Desert" with her
+     bravo Dunois; to glide with him "Thro' icy valleys," in the wilds
+     of Siberia; or to accompany him even across "The sea--the sea--the
+     open sea." No music would have sounded so sweetly in her ear as
+     "The Bridemaid's Chorus," and she would willingly have given all
+     her pearls and diamonds in exchange for "The plain gold ring."
+
+     Next came a gentleman in naval uniform, whom I gladly recognised as
+     my former acquaintance, "The Post Captain;" for the last time "We
+     met--'twas in a crowd"--and I had not an opportunity of saying more
+     than a few words to him. He was not in his usual spirits, having
+     lately been jilted by the beautiful but "Faithless Emma," who knew
+     not how to value "The Manly Heart" that had so long been devoted to
+     her. He was accompanied by a "Smart Young Midshipman," and followed
+     at a respectful distance by some hardy-looking "Tars of Columbia,"
+     who, whether exposed to the storms of "The Bay of Biscay," or
+     sailing before the wind with "A wet sheet and a flowing sea," or
+     engaged in contest with "The Mariners of England," are always ready
+     to venture life and limb in the cause of "America, Commerce, and
+     Freedom."
+
+     After them came a motley group whose homes were to be found in
+     every part of the world, and amongst whom even "The Gipsies' Wild
+     Chant" was heard at intervals. Looking as if he had just issued
+     from "The vale of Ovoca," and wrapping around him a damp overcoat,
+     threadbare wherever it was whole, came an "Exile of Erin," who
+     proved to be the famous serenading robber, "Ned of the Hills." Near
+     him was another outlaw, "Allen-a-Dale," who, being something of an
+     exquisite (notwithstanding his deficiency in ploughland and
+     firewood) looked with hauteur on "The wayworn Traveller." The
+     Hibernian freebooter was not, it is true, as well supported as when
+     "Proudly and wide his standard flew;" having found by recent
+     experience that it is not always safe to go a-robbing with flying
+     colours: but he was not without his followers (what Irishman is?)
+     and he and they returned with interest the contemptuous glances of
+     the English brigand.
+
+     There were representatives of every nation and of every period in
+     which the voice of music has been heard. Some were serious and some
+     were gay--some were dignified, and others very much the
+     contrary--some had always moved in the first circle, and some were
+     in the people's line. I saw a "Bavarian Broom Girl" endeavouring to
+     persuade "Mynheer Van Clam" to waltz with her round the hill: but
+     finding it impossible to induce in him a rotatory motion, and that
+     his steps never could be made to describe a circle, she wisely gave
+     him up for a "Merry Swiss Boy," who whirled round with her to her
+     heart's content, though his sister would not dance, but was
+     perpetually wailing "Oh! take me back to Switzerland." There was
+     also the disdainful "Polly Hopkins" sailing round her ill-used but
+     persevering lover, "Tommy Tompkins." Among others came the foolish
+     "Maid of Lodi," ambling on her poney; the deplorable "Galley
+     Slave;" the moaning "Beggar Girl;" and several others with whose
+     company I could well have dispensed.
+
+     The sound of voices now came from the sea, and we saw several boats
+     approaching the shore--"Faintly as tolls the evening chime," we
+     distinguished the Canadian rowers. Next came the fellow-fishermen
+     of Masaniello chanting their Barcarole; and next we recognised the
+     swiftly-gliding and "Bonnie Boat" of a party of musical Caledonians
+     on their return from a fruitless attempt to wake the "Maid of
+     Lorn." I looked in vain for my sensible and excellent friend, "The
+     Pilot," whom I was afterwards informed by his daughter, "Black-eyed
+     Susan," had gone to the assistance of an endangered vessel, whose
+     "Minute Gun at Sea" he had heard the night before.
+
+     I went down with the other ladies to the portico to receive the
+     company that was every moment arriving, and I found the avenue that
+     led to it already filled. Among the Hibernians, we saw a wandering
+     musician who had "Come o'er the sea" to pursue his profession.
+     However, he succeeded but badly; after several attempts, finding it
+     impossible even to "Remember the glories of Brian the Brave." The
+     truth is, he was confused and disconcerted by discovering, when too
+     late, that the harp he had in haste brought with him, was the
+     identical one which had hung so long on Tara's walls that its soul
+     of music was undoubtedly fled; all the strings being broken. This
+     _contre-tems_ excited the sneers of the English part of his
+     audience, but I besought them to "Blame not the bard," whose
+     countrymen I saw were beginning to kindle in his behalf, and
+     knowing that "Avenging and bright are the swift swords of Erin," I
+     made peace by ordering refreshments to be brought out, and sending
+     round among them the "Crooskeen Lawn."
+
+     Again the sound of distant music floated on the air from "Over the
+     hills and far away." At first, we thought that "The Campbells were
+     coming" (none of that noble and warlike clan having accompanied the
+     numerous "Sons of the Clyde" that had already arrived), and the
+     male part of our company were preparing to "Hurrah for the Bonnets
+     of Blue." But as the sounds approached, they were easily
+     distinguished for the ever-charming and exhilarating notes of "The
+     Hunters' Chorus," that splendid triumph of musical genius. We soon
+     saw the bold yagers of the Hartz forest descending the path that
+     led round the hill, their rifles in their hands, their oak-sprigs
+     in their hats, and looking as much at home as if they were still in
+     their "Father-land."
+
+     I welcomed the whole company, though well aware that among them all
+     there was "Nobody coming to marry me;" and, as "Twilight dews were
+     falling fast," I invited them into the house, which fortunately was
+     large enough to accommodate them. The evening was spent in much
+     hilarity. "Merrily every bosom boundeth," and "Away with
+     melancholy," was the general feeling. A toast was suggested in
+     compliment to their hostess; but unwilling that they should "Drink
+     to me only," I proposed "A health to all good lasses," and it went
+     round with enthusiasm.
+
+     Our festivity met with a little interruption from "The Maid of
+     Marlivale," who, while taking one of her usual moonlight rambles,
+     had been frightened by something that she supposed to be "The Erl
+     King," and she rushed in among us, in a state of terror which we
+     had some difficulty in appeasing.
+
+     After supper, at which "Jim Crow" was chief waiter (till his
+     antics obliged me to dismiss him from the room), music and dancing
+     continued till a late hour. At length "I knew by the smoke" that
+     the lamps were about to expire, and I was not sorry when the party
+     from Scotland broke up the company by taking leave with "Gude
+     night, and joy be wi' you a'"--and in a short time "All the blue
+     bonnets were over the border." I must tell you in confidence, my
+     dear Ombrelina, that "A chieftain to the highlands bound" presented
+     me "The last rose of summer," and was very importunate with me to
+     become the companion of his journey and the lady of his castle; but
+     I had no inclination to intrust my happiness to a stranger, and to
+     bid "My native land, good night."
+
+     Hitherto, whenever, "I've wandered in dreams," it has generally
+     been my unlucky fate to lose all distinct recollection of them
+     before "The morn unbars the gates of light." This once I have been
+     more fortunate. But still, my dear Ombrelina, I think it safest to
+     intrust to your care this slight memorandum of my singular vision.
+     And should you lose it, and I forget it, we have still the
+     consolation that "'Tis but fancy's sketch."
+
+     ARIELLA SHADOW.
+
+"In truth," said Merrill, folding up the letter, after making various
+comments upon it, "on the subject of music, this young lady seems quite
+_au naturel_. I fear for her success in society."
+
+"Then," observed Cavender, "you must exert your influence in inducing
+her to change or suppress her opinion on this topic, and perhaps on some
+others in which she may be equally at variance with _les gens comme il
+faut_."
+
+"My influence?" replied Merrill. "Is it possible that I know the lady?"
+
+"You know her so well," answered Cavender, "that I wonder you are
+unacquainted with her autograph; but I suppose your courtship has been
+altogether verbal."
+
+"Emily Osbrook!" exclaimed Merrill. "Is she, indeed, the author of this
+letter? It is singular enough that I have never yet happened to see her
+handwriting; and once seen, I could not have forgotten it. But I can
+assure you that she has sufficient knowledge of the art to be fully
+capable of appreciating its difficulties and understanding its beauties,
+and of warmly admiring whatever of our fashionable music is really good;
+that is, when the sound is not only a combination of beautiful tones,
+but also an echo to the sense. We have often lamented that so many fine
+composers have deigned to furnish charming airs for common-place or
+nonsensical poetry, and that some of the most exquisite effusions of our
+poets are degraded by an association with tasteless and insipid music.
+But when music that is truly excellent is 'married to immortal verse,'
+and when the words are equal to the air, who does not perceive that the
+hearers listen with two-fold enjoyment?"
+
+"Two-fold!" exclaimed Cavender.--"The pleasure of listening to
+delightful notes, with delightful words, uttered with taste and feeling
+by an accomplished and intellectual singer, is one of the most perfect
+that can fall to the lot of beings who are unable to hear the music of
+the spheres and the songs of Paradise."
+
+
+
+
+SOCIABLE VISITING.
+
+     "Shadows, clouds, and darkness rest upon it."--ADDISON.
+
+
+After a residence of several years at their country-house in the
+vicinity of Philadelphia, circumstances induced Mr. Heathcote to
+establish himself again in the city. This removal gave great
+satisfaction to his family, particularly to his wife and to his two
+elder children, Harriet and Albert, as they all had very good reasons
+for preferring a decided town-life to the numerous conveniences of
+ruralizing at a villa both in winter and summer. They were called on in
+due time by all their former city friends; most of whom, indeed, had
+sedulously kept up their acquaintance with the Heathcote family by
+frequent visits to them during their long sojourn in the country.
+
+By all these friends, the Heathcotes were invited to tea in form,
+sometimes to large parties, sometimes to small parties, and sometimes to
+meet only the family circle. And Mrs. Heathcote had made a return for
+these civilities by giving an evening party, which included the whole
+range of her friends and acquaintances, while her husband got rid of his
+similar obligations by a series of dinners.
+
+These duties being over, and the family settled quietly down into
+every-day life, the invitations for particular times became less
+frequent; gradually subsiding into pressing entreaties from their
+friends to waive all formality, and to come sociably and take tea with
+them whenever they felt an inclination, without waiting for the ceremony
+of being regularly asked. These intimations were at once declined by
+Mrs. Heathcote, who declared herself "no visitor," her large family (for
+she had eight children) giving her always sufficient occupation at
+home. Such excuses, however, were not admitted from Harriet, who was
+handsome, lively, and intelligent, and much liked by all who knew her.
+She was fond of society, and had no objection to visiting in all its
+branches. Her days were generally passed in constant and rational
+employment, and though her evenings were pleasant enough at home, still
+she liked variety, and thought it would be very agreeable to visit her
+friends occasionally on the terms proposed; and she anticipated much
+quiet enjoyment at these extemporaneous tea-drinkings. We must premise
+that the sociable visits performed by our heroine did not, in reality,
+all follow each other consecutively, though, for the sake of brevity, it
+is expedient for us to relate them in that manner. Between some of them
+were long intervals, during which she, of course, received occasional
+invitations in regular form; and a due proportion of her evenings was
+spent in places of public amusement. Our present design is merely to
+give a sketch of the events which ensued when Harriet Heathcote, taking
+her friends at their word, availed herself of their earnest entreaties
+to visit them _sociably_: that is, without being either invited or
+expected.
+
+In compliance with the oft-repeated request of her old acquaintances,
+the two Miss Drakelows, to spend a long afternoon with them, coming
+early and bringing her sewing, our heroine set out on this visit at four
+o'clock, taking her work-basket in her hand. The Miss Drakelows, indeed,
+had urged her to come immediately after dinner, that they might have the
+longer enjoyment of her company; and Harriet, for her part, liked them
+so well (for they were very agreeable girls), that she had no
+apprehension of finding the visit tedious.
+
+On arriving at the house, the servant who opened the door informed her
+that both the young ladies were out. Harriet, much disappointed, was
+turning to go home again, when their mother, old Mrs. Drakelow, appeared
+at the door of the front parlour, and hastening forward, seized her by
+both hands, and insisted on her coming in, saying that Ellen and Fanny
+had only gone out shopping with Mrs. Eastwood (their married sister),
+and that she was in momentary expectation of their return. Harriet found
+it so difficult to resist the entreaties of the old lady, who was always
+delighted to see visiters, that she yielded and accompanied her into the
+parlour.
+
+"Well, my dear Miss Harriet," said Mrs. Drakelow, "I am really very glad
+that you have come, at last, just as we wished you, without any
+ceremony. I always think a visit the more agreeable for being
+unexpected. Do take off your cloak. My daughters will be at home in a
+few minutes, and I dare say they will bring Mrs. Eastwood with them, and
+then we will make her stay to tea. We shall have a charming evening."
+
+Miss Heathcote took out her work, and Mrs. Drakelow resumed her
+knitting, and endeavoured to entertain her guest by enumerating those
+among her own acquaintances that persisted in using knitting-sheaths,
+and those that could knit just as well without them by holding the
+needles in a different manner. She also discussed the relative merits of
+ribbed welts and rolled welts, and gave due honour to certain
+expeditious ladies that could knit a pair of large stockings in three
+days; and higher glory still to several that had been known to perform
+that exploit in _two_ days.
+
+In truth, the old lady was one of those dull wearisome people, that are
+only tolerated because they are good and respectable. She had no
+reading; no observation, except of trifles not worth observing; no
+memory, but of things not worth remembering, and her ideas, which were
+very limited in number, had all her life flowed in the same channel.
+Still, Mrs. Drakelow thought herself a very sensible woman, and believed
+that her conversation could not be otherwise than agreeable; and
+therefore, whenever she had an opportunity, she talked almost
+incessantly. It is true, that when her daughters were present, she was
+content to be comparatively silent, as she regarded them with great
+deference, and listened to them always with habitual admiration.
+
+Evening came, and the young ladies did not return; though Mrs. Drakelow
+was still expecting them every moment. Finally, she concluded that Mrs.
+Eastwood had prevailed on them to go home and take tea with her. "So
+much the better for me," said Mrs. Drakelow, "for now, my dear Miss
+Harriet, I shall have you all to myself." She then ordered tea to be
+brought immediately, and Harriet saw nothing in prospect but a long,
+tedious evening with the prosing old lady; and she knew that it would be
+at least nine o'clock, or perhaps ten, before her brother came to see
+her home.
+
+The evening, as she anticipated, was indeed tedious. Mrs. Drakelow took
+upon herself "the whole expense of the conversation," talked of cheap
+shops and dear shops, and specified the prices that had been given for
+almost every article of dress that had been purchased by her daughters
+or herself during the last year. She told a long story of a piece of
+linen which her friend Mrs. Willett had bought for her husband, and
+which went to pieces before it was made up, splitting down in streaks
+during the process of stroking the gathers. She told the rent that was
+given by all her acquaintances that lived in rented houses, and the
+precise price paid by those that had purchased their dwellings. She
+described minutely the particulars of several long illnesses that had
+taken place among her relations and friends; and the exact number of
+persons that attended their funerals when they died, as on those
+occasions she said she made it a rule always to count the company. She
+mentioned several circumstances which proved to demonstration, that the
+weather was usually cold in winter and warm in summer; and she gave a
+circumstantial history of her four last cats, with suitable episodes of
+rats and mice.
+
+The old lady's garrulity was so incessant, her tone so monotonous, and
+her narratives so totally devoid of either point or interest, that Miss
+Heathcote caught herself several times on the verge of falling asleep.
+She frequently stole anxious glances at the time-piece, and when it was
+nine o'clock she roused herself by the excitement of hoping every moment
+for the arrival of Albert.
+
+At length she heard the agreeable sound of the door-bell, but it was
+only a shoemaker's boy that had brought home a pair of new shoes for
+Mrs. Drakelow, who tried them on, and talked about them for half an
+hour, telling various stories of tight shoes and loose shoes, long shoes
+and short shoes. Finally, Albert Heathcote made his welcome appearance,
+and Harriet joyfully prepared for her departure; though the old lady
+entreated her "to sit awhile longer, and not to take away her brother so
+soon."
+
+"You cannot imagine," said Mrs. Drakelow, "how disappointed the girls
+will feel, at happening to be from home on this afternoon above all
+others. If they had had the most distant idea of a visit from you
+to-day, they would, I am sure, have either deferred their shopping, or
+made it as short as possible. But do not be discouraged, my dear Miss
+Harriet," continued the good old lady, "I hope you will very soon favour
+us with another sociable visit. I really do not know when I have passed
+so pleasant an evening. It has seemed to me not more than half an hour
+since tea."
+
+About a fortnight afterwards, Miss Heathcote went to take tea, sociably,
+with her friend Mrs. Rushbrook, who had been married about eighteen
+months, and whom she had known intimately for many years. This time, she
+went quite late, and was glad to be informed that Mrs. Rushbrook was at
+home. She was shown into the parlour, where she waited till long after
+the lamp was lighted, in momentary expectation of the appearance of her
+friend, who had sent down word that she would be with her in a few
+minutes. Occasionally, whenever the nursery door was opened, Harriet
+heard violent screams of the baby.
+
+At length Mrs. Rushbrook came down, apologized to Miss Heathcote for
+making her wait, and said that poor little George was very unwell, and
+had been fretful and feverish all day; and that he had just been got to
+sleep with much difficulty, having cried incessantly for more than an
+hour. Harriet now regretted having chosen this day for her visit (the
+baby being so much indisposed), and she offered to conclude it
+immediately, only requesting that the servant-man might see her home, as
+it had long been quite dark. But Mrs. Rushbrook would not listen to
+Harriet's proposal of going away so soon, and insisted on her staying to
+tea as she had intended; saying that she had no doubt the baby would be
+much better when he awoke. At her pressing instances, Miss Heathcote
+concluded to remain. In a short time Mr. Rushbrook came home, and his
+wife detailed to him all the particulars of the baby's illness. Harriet,
+who was accustomed to children, saw that in all probability the
+complaint would be attended with no serious consequences. But young
+married people are very naturally prone to take alarm at the slightest
+ailment of their first child: a feeling which no one should censure,
+however far it may be carried, as it originates in the best affections
+of the human heart.
+
+Though Mr. and Mrs. Rushbrook tried to entertain their visitor, and to
+listen to her when she talked, Harriet could not but perceive that their
+minds were all the time with the infant up-stairs; and they frequently
+called each other out of the room to consult about him.
+
+After tea, the baby awoke and renewed its screams, and Mr. Rushbrook
+determined to go himself for the doctor, who had already been brought
+thither three times that day. Finding that it was a physician who lived
+in her immediate neighbourhood, Harriet wisely concluded to shorten her
+unlucky visit by availing herself of Mr. Rushbrook's protection to her
+own door. Mrs. Rushbrook took leave of our heroine with much civility,
+but with very evident satisfaction, and said to her at parting, "To
+tell you the truth, my dear Harriet, if I had known that you designed me
+the pleasure of a visit this evening, I would have candidly requested
+you to defer it till another time, as poor little George has been unwell
+since early in the morning."
+
+Harriet's next sociable visit was to the two Miss Brandons, who had
+always appeared to her as very charming girls, and remarkable for their
+affectionate manner towards each other. Being left in affluent
+circumstances at the decease of their father (the mother died while they
+were children), Letitia and Charlotte Brandon lived together in a very
+genteel establishment, under the protection of an unmarried brother, who
+was just now absent on business in the West. Harriet had always imagined
+them in possession of an unusual portion of happiness, for they were
+young, handsome, rich, at their own disposal, with no one to control
+them, and, as she supposed, nothing to trouble them. She did not know,
+or rather she did not believe (for she had heard some whispers of the
+fact), that in reality the Miss Brandons lived half their time at open
+war; both having tempers that were very irritable, and also very
+implacable, for it is not true that the more easily anger is excited,
+the sooner it subsides. It so happened, however, that Miss Heathcote had
+only seen these young ladies during their occasional fits of
+good-humour, when they were at peace with each other, and with all the
+world; and at such times no women could possibly be more amiable.
+
+On the morning before Harriet Heathcote's visit, a violent quarrel had
+taken place between the two sisters, and therefore they were not on
+speaking terms, nor likely to be so in less than a fortnight; that being
+the period they generally required to smooth down their angry passions,
+before they could find it in their hearts to resume the usual routine of
+even common civility. There was this difference in the two ladies:
+Charlotte was the most passionate, Letitia the most rancorous.
+
+When Harriet arrived, she found the Miss Brandons alone in the back
+parlour, sitting at opposite sides of the fire, with each a book.
+Charlotte, who was just the age of Harriet, looked pleased at the sight
+of a visiter, whose company she thought would be preferable to the
+alternative of passing the evening with her sister in utter silence; and
+she had some faint hope that the presence of Miss Heathcote might
+perhaps induce Letitia to make some little exertion to conceal her
+ill-humour. And therefore Charlotte expressed great pleasure when she
+found that Harriet had come to spend the evening with them. But Letitia,
+after a very cold salutation, immediately rose and left the room, with
+an air that showed plainly she did not intend to consider Miss Heathcote
+as in part her visiter, but exclusively as her sister Charlotte's.
+
+Charlotte followed Letitia with her eyes, and looked very angry, but
+after a few moments, she smothered her resentment so far as to attempt a
+sort of apology, saying, "she believed her sister had the headache." She
+then commenced a conversation with Harriet, who endeavoured to keep it
+up with her usual vivacity; but was disconcerted to find that Charlotte
+was too uncomfortable, and her mind evidently too much abstracted,
+either to listen attentively, or to take the least interest in anything
+she said.
+
+In a short time the table was set, and Charlotte desired the servant to
+go up-stairs and ask Miss Letitia if she was coming down to tea, or if
+she should send her some. The man departed, and was gone a long while.
+When he returned--"Is Miss Letitia coming down to tea?" asked Charlotte
+anxiously; "Miss Letitia don't say," replied the man. Charlotte bit her
+lip in vexation, and then with something that resembled a sigh, invited
+Harriet to take her seat at the table, and began to pour out. When tea
+was about half over, Letitia made her appearance, walking with great
+dignity, and looking very cross. She sat down in silence, opposite to
+Harriet. "Sister," said Charlotte, in a voice of half-suppressed anger,
+"shall I give you black tea or green? you know you sometimes take one
+and sometimes the other." "I'll help myself," replied Letitia, in a
+voice of chilling coldness. And taking up one of the tea-pots she
+proceeded to do so. As soon as she put the cup to her lips, she set it
+down again with apparent disgust, saying--"This tea is not fit to
+drink." Charlotte, making a visible effort to restrain herself, placed
+the other tea-pot within her sister's reach; Letitia poured out a few
+drops by way of trial, tasted it, then pushed it away with still greater
+disgust than before, and threw herself back in her chair, casting a look
+of indignation at Charlotte, and murmuring,--"'Tis always so when I do
+not preside at the tea-table myself."
+
+Charlotte sat swelling with anger, afraid to trust herself to speak,
+while Harriet, affecting not to notice what was passing, made an attempt
+to talk on some indifferent subject, and addressed to Letitia a few
+words which she did not answer, and handed her some waffles which she
+would not take. Never had Harriet been present at so uncomfortable a
+repast, and heartily did she wish herself at home, regretting much that
+she had happened to pay a visit during this state of hostilities.
+
+After the failure of both sorts of tea, Letitia sat in silent
+indignation till the table was cleared, leaning back in her chair,
+eating nothing, but crumbling a piece of bread to atoms, and
+pertinaciously averting her head both from Charlotte and Harriet.
+
+When tea was over, Harriet hoped that Letitia would retire to her own
+room, but on the contrary the lady was perversely bent on staying in the
+parlour. Charlotte and Harriet placed themselves at the sofa-table with
+their sewing, and Letitia desired the servant-man to bring her one of
+the new table-cloths that had been sent home that morning. Then making
+him light a lamp that stood in the corner of the mantel-piece, she
+seated herself under it on a low chair, and commenced silently and
+sedulously the task of ravelling or fringing the ends of the
+table-cloth, while Charlotte looked at her from time to time with
+ill-suppressed resentment. Now and then, Harriet, in the hope of
+conciliating Letitia into something like common civility, addressed a
+few words to her in as pleasant a manner as possible, but Letitia
+replied only by a cold monosyllable, and finally made no answer at all.
+Charlotte was too angry at her sister to be able to sustain anything
+that could be called a conversation with Miss Heathcote, and Harriet,
+rather than say nothing, began to describe a very entertaining new novel
+that had lately appeared, relating with great vivacity some of its most
+amusing scenes. But she soon found that Charlotte was too much out of
+humour with her sister to be able to give much attention to the
+narrative, and that her replies and comments were _distrait_ and
+_mal-à-propos_.
+
+Letitia sat coldly fringing the table-cloth, and showing no sort of
+emotion, except that she threw the ravellings into the fire with rather
+more energy than was necessary, and occasionally jogged the foot that
+rested on a cushion before her; and she resolutely refused to partake of
+the refreshments that were brought in after tea.
+
+Miss Heathcote sat in momentary dread of an explosion, as she saw that
+the angry glances of Charlotte towards the lady fringing the
+table-cloth, were becoming more frequent and more vivid, that her colour
+was heightening, and the tremor of her voice increasing. Our heroine was
+heartily glad of the arrival of her brother about nine o'clock, an hour
+earlier than she expected him. He explained, in a few words, that being
+desirous of returning to the theatre to see a favourite after-piece, he
+had thought it best to come for his sister as soon as the play was over,
+rather than keep her waiting for him till near eleven, before which time
+it was not probable that the whole entertainment would be finished.
+Charlotte, who was evidently impatient for an outbreak, saw Miss
+Heathcote depart with visible satisfaction, and Letitia merely bowed her
+head to the adieu of our heroine, who, vexed at herself for having
+volunteered her visit on this ill-omened day, felt it a relief to quit
+the presence of these unamiable sisters, and "leave them alone in their
+glory."
+
+The black girl that had brought down her hood and cloak, ran forward to
+open the street door, and said in a low voice to Harriet, "I suppose,
+miss, you did not know before you came, that our ladies had a high
+quarrel this morning, and are affronted, and don't speak. But I dare say
+they will come to, in the course of a few weeks, and then I hope you'll
+pay us another visit, for company's _scace_."
+
+When Harriet equipped herself to pass a _sociable_ evening with the
+Urlingford family, who were among the most agreeable of her friends, she
+could not possibly anticipate any _contre-tems_ that would mar the
+pleasure of the visit. She arrived about dusk, and was somewhat
+surprised to find the whole family already at their tea. Mrs. Urlingford
+and the young ladies received her very cordially, but looked a little
+disconcerted, and Harriet apologized for interrupting them at table, by
+saying, that she thought their tea-hour was not till seven o'clock.
+
+Mrs. Urlingford replied, that seven o'clock _was_ their usual hour for
+tea, but on that evening they had it much earlier than usual, that it
+might be over before the arrival of some of their musical friends, who
+were coming to practise with her daughters.
+
+"Really, my dear Harriet," pursued Mrs. Urlingford, "I am rejoiced that
+you happened to fix on this evening for favouring us with an
+unceremonious visit. Though I know that you always decline playing and
+singing in company, and that you persist in saying you have very little
+knowledge of music, yet I think too highly of your taste and feeling not
+to be convinced of your fondness for that delightful art, and I am
+certain you will be much gratified by what you will hear to-night,
+though this is only a private practising; indeed a mere rehearsal. Next
+week we will have a general music-party, the first of a series which we
+have arranged to take place at intervals of a fortnight, and to which we
+intend ourselves the pleasure of sending invitations to you and all our
+other friends. This, of to-night, is, I repeat, nothing more than a
+rehearsal, and we expect only a few professional musicians, whose
+assistance we have secured for our regular musical soirées. I am very
+glad, indeed, my dear Harriet, that you chance to be with us this
+evening. As I said, we have tea earlier than usual, that the music may
+begin the sooner, and at ten o'clock we will have coffee and other
+refreshments handed round."
+
+By this time, the table was newly set, fresh tea was made, and some
+additional nice things were produced. Harriet, who was very sorry for
+having caused any unnecessary trouble, sat down to her tea, which she
+despatched in all possible haste, as she knew that Mrs. Urlingford must
+be impatient to have the table cleared away, previous to the arrival of
+the musicians, who were now momentarily expected. Just as Harriet was
+finishing, there came in a German that played on the violon-cello, and
+was always very early. On being asked if he had taken tea, he replied in
+the affirmative, but that he would have no objection to a little more.
+Accordingly he sat down and made a long and hearty meal, to the evident
+annoyance of the family, and still more to that of Harriet Heathcote,
+who knew that the table would long since have been removed, had it not
+been detained on her account. There was nothing now to be done, but to
+close the folding-doors, and shut in the German till he had completed
+his repast, as others of the company were fast arriving. And though
+Harriet had been told that this was merely a private practising, she
+soon found herself in the midst of something that very much resembled a
+large party; so many persons having been invited exclusive of the
+regular performers. She understood, however, that nobody had been asked
+to this rehearsal, who had not a decided taste for music.
+
+Our heroine, for her part, had no extraordinary talent for that
+difficult and elegant accomplishment; and, after taking lessons for
+about a year, it was considered best that she should give it up, as her
+voice was of no great compass, and there was little probability of her
+reaching any proficiency, as an instrumental musician, that would
+compensate for an undue expense of time, money, and application.
+Therefore, Harriet had never advanced beyond simple ballads, which she
+played and sang agreeably and correctly enough, but which she only
+attempted when her audience consisted exclusively of her own family; and
+none of her brothers and sisters had as yet shown any taste for that
+sort of music which is commonly called scientific.
+
+The Urlingfords, on the contrary, could all sing and play; the girls on
+the harp, piano, and guitar; and the boys on the flute, and violin. They
+all had voices of great power, and sung nothing but Italian.
+
+The evening was passed in the performance of pieces that exhibited much
+science, and much difficulty of execution: such pieces, in short, as Dr.
+Johnson wished were "impossible." Being totally at variance with the
+simplicity of Harriet's taste, she found them very uninteresting, and
+inconceivably fatiguing, and after a while she had great difficulty in
+keeping herself awake. Of course, not a word was uttered during the
+performance, and the concertos, potpourris, arias, and cavatinas
+succeeded each other so rapidly that there was no interval in which to
+snatch a few moments of conversation. It is true the purport of the
+meeting was music, and music alone.
+
+Miss Heathcote almost envied a young lady, who, having learnt all her
+music in Europe, had come home with an enthusiasm for feats of voice and
+finger, that on all these occasions transported her into the third
+heaven. She sat with her neck stretched forward, and her hands
+out-spread, her lips half open, her eyes sometimes raised as in ecstasy,
+and sometimes closed in overpowering bliss. But Harriet's envy of such
+exquisite sensations was a little checked, when she observed Miss Denham
+stealing a sly glance all round, to see who was looking at her, and
+admiring her enthusiasm. And then Harriet could not help thinking how
+very painful it must be (when only done for effect) to keep up such an
+air and attitude of admiration during a whole long evening.
+
+Our heroine was also much entertained in the early part of the
+performance, particularly during a grand concerto, by observing the
+musician who officiated as leader, and was a foreigner of great skill in
+his profession. In him there was certainly no affectation. To have the
+piece performed in the most perfect manner, was "the settled purpose of
+his soul." All the energies of his mind and body were absorbed in this
+one object, and he seemed as if the whole happiness of his future life,
+nay, his existence itself, depended on its success. The piece was
+proceeding in its full tide of glory, and the leader was waving his bow
+with more pride and satisfaction than a monarch ever felt in wielding
+his sceptre, or a triumphant warrior in brandishing his sword. Suddenly
+he gave "a look of horror and a sudden start," and turning instantly
+round, his eyes glared fiercely over the whole circle of performers in
+search of the culprit who had been guilty of a false note; an error
+which would scarcely have been noticed by any of the company, had it not
+been made so conspicuous by the shock it had given to the chief
+musician. The criminal, however, was only discovered by his
+injudiciously "hiding his diminished head." Better for him to have been
+"a fine, gay, bold-faced villain."
+
+Harriet could not help remarking that though the company all applauded
+every song that was sung, and every piece that was played, and that at
+the conclusion of each, the words "charming," "exquisite," "divine,"
+were murmured round the room, still almost every one looked tired, many
+were evidently suppressing their inclination to yawn--some took
+opportunities of looking privately at their watches; and Mr. Urlingford
+and another old gentleman slept a duet together in a corner. The
+entrance of the coffee, &c., produced a wonderful revival, and restored
+animation to eyes that seemed ready to close in slumber. The company all
+started from the listless postures into which they had unconsciously
+thrown themselves, and every one sat up straight. As soon as she had
+drunk a cup of the refreshing beverage, Miss Heathcote was glad to avail
+herself of her brother's arrival and take her leave; Mrs. Urlingford,
+congratulating her again on having been so fortunate as to drop in
+exactly on that evening, and telling her that she should certainly
+expect her at all her musical parties throughout the season.
+
+And Harriet might perhaps have gone to the first one, had she not been
+so unluckily present at the rehearsal.
+
+On the next uninvited visit of our heroine, she found her friends, the
+three Miss Celbridges, sitting in the parlour with their mother, by no
+other light than that of the fire, and all looking extremely dejected.
+On inquiring if they were well, they answered in the affirmative. Her
+next question was to ask when they had heard from Baltimore, in which
+place some of their nearest relations were settled. The reply was, that
+they had received letters that morning, and that their friends were in
+good health. "Well, girls," said Harriet, gayly, "you see I have taken
+you at your word, and have come to pass the evening with you _sans
+ceremonie_."
+
+The Miss Celbridges exchanged looks with their mother, who cast down her
+eyes and said nothing; and one of the young ladies silently assisted
+Harriet in taking off her walking habiliments. There was an air of
+general constraint, and our heroine began to fear that her visit was not
+quite acceptable. "Is it possible," thought she, "that I could
+unconsciously have given any offence at our last meeting?" But she
+recollected immediately, that the Miss Celbridges had then taken leave
+of her with the most unequivocal evidences of cordiality, and had
+earnestly insisted on her coming to drink tea with them, as often as she
+felt a desire, assuring her that they should always be delighted to see
+her "in a sociable way."
+
+The young ladies made an effort at conversation, but it was visibly an
+effort. The minds of the Miss Celbridges were all palpably engrossed
+with something quite foreign to the topic of discussion, and Harriet was
+too much surprised, and too much embarrassed to talk with her usual
+fluency.
+
+At length Mr. Celbridge entered the room, and after slightly saluting
+Miss Heathcote, asked why the lamp was not lighted. It was done--and
+Harriet then perceived by the redness of their eyes, that the mother and
+daughters had all been in tears. Mr. Celbridge looked also very
+melancholy, and seating himself beside his wife, he entered into a low
+and earnest conversation with her. Mrs. Celbridge held her handkerchief
+to her face, and Harriet could no longer refrain from inquiring if the
+family had been visited by any unexpected misfortune. There was a pause,
+during which the daughters evidently struggled to command their
+feelings, and Mr. Celbridge, after a few moments' hesitation, replied in
+a tremulous voice: "Perhaps, Miss Heathcote, you know not that to-day I
+have become a bankrupt; that the unexpected failure of a house for which
+I had endorsed to a large amount, has deprived me of the earnings of
+twenty years, and reduced me to indigence."
+
+Harriet was much shocked, and expressed her entire ignorance of the
+fact. "We supposed," said Mrs. Celbridge, "that it must have been known
+universally--and such reports always spread with too much rapidity."
+"Surely," replied Harriet, taking the hand of Mrs. Celbridge, "you
+cannot seriously believe that it was known to _me_. The slightest
+intimation of this unfortunate event, would certainly have deterred me
+from interrupting you with my presence at a time when the company of a
+visitor must be so painfully irksome to the whole family."
+
+She then rose, and said that if Mr. Celbridge would have the kindness to
+accompany her to her own door, she would immediately go home. "I will
+not dissemble, my dear Miss Heathcote," replied Mrs. Celbridge, "and
+urge you to remain, when it must be evident to you that none of us are
+in a state to make your visit agreeable to you, or indeed to derive
+pleasure from it ourselves. After the first shock is over, we shall be
+able, I hope, to look on our reverse of fortune with something like
+composure. And when we are settled in the humble habitation to which we
+must soon remove, we shall be glad indeed to have our evenings
+occasionally enlivened by the society of one whom we have always been so
+happy to class among our friends."
+
+Mr. Celbridge escorted Harriet to her own residence, which was only at a
+short distance. She there found that her brother, having just heard of
+the failure, and knowing that she intended spending the evening at Mr.
+Celbridge's, had sent her from his office a note to prevent her going,
+but it had not arrived till after her departure.
+
+Among Miss Heathcote's acquaintances was Mrs. Accleton, a very young
+lady recently married, who on receiving her bridal-visits, had given out
+that she intended to live economically, and not to indulge in any
+unnecessary expense. She emphatically proclaimed her resolution never to
+give a party; but she did not even insinuate that she would never go to
+a party herself. She also declared that it did not comport with her
+plans (young girls when just married are apt to talk much of their
+plans) to have any regularly invited company; but that it would always
+afford her the greatest possible pleasure to see her friends _sociably_,
+if they would come and take tea with her, whenever it was convenient to
+themselves, and without waiting for her to appoint any particular time.
+"My husband and I," said Mrs. Accleton, "intend spending all our
+evenings at home, so there is no risk of ever finding us out. We are too
+happy in each other to seek for amusement abroad; and we find by
+experience that nothing the world can offer is equal to our own domestic
+felicity, varied occasionally by the delightful surprise of an
+unceremonious visit from an intimate friend."
+
+It was not till after the most urgent entreaties, often reiterated, that
+Harriet Heathcote undertook one of these visits to Mrs. Accleton. After
+ringing at the street-door till her patience was nearly exhausted, it
+was opened by a sulky-looking white girl, who performed the office of
+porteress with a very ill grace, hiding herself behind it because she
+was not in full dress; and to Harriet's inquiry if Mrs. Accleton was at
+home, murmuring in a most repulsive tone that "she believed she was."
+
+Our heroine was kept waiting a considerable time in a cold and
+comfortless, though richly-furnished parlour, where the splendid
+coal-grate exhibited no evidences of fire, but a mass of cinders
+blackening at the bottom. At length Mrs. Accleton made her appearance,
+fresh from the toilet, and apologized by saying, that expecting no one
+that afternoon, she had ever since dinner been sitting up stairs in her
+wrapper. "About twelve o'clock," said she, "I always, when the weather
+is fine, dress myself and have the front-parlour fire made up, in case
+of morning-visiters. But after dinner, I usually put on a wrapper, and
+establish myself in the dining-room for the remainder of the day. My
+husband and I have got into the habit of spending all our evenings
+there. It is a charmingly comfortable little room, and we think it
+scarcely worth while to keep up the parlour-fire just for our two
+selves. However, I will have it replenished immediately. Excuse me for
+one moment." She then left the room, and shortly returning, resumed her
+discourse.
+
+"I determined," said she, "from the hour I first thought of
+housekeeping, that it should be my plan to have none but white servants.
+They are less wasteful than the blacks; less extravagant in their
+cooking; are satisfied to sit by smaller fires; and have fewer visiters.
+The chief difficulty with them is, that there are so many things they
+are unwilling to do. Yesterday my cook left me quite suddenly, and
+to-day a little girl about fourteen, whom I hired last week as a waiter,
+was taken away by her mother; and I have just now been trying to
+persuade Sally, the chambermaid, to bring in the coal-scuttle and make
+up the fire. But she has a great objection to doing anything in presence
+of strangers, and I am rather afraid she will not come. And I do not
+much wonder at it, for Sally is a girl of a very respectable family. She
+has nothing of the servant about her."
+
+"So much the worse," thought Harriet, "if she is obliged to get her
+living in that capacity."
+
+After a long uncomfortable pause, during which there were no signs of
+Sally, Mrs. Accleton involuntarily put her hand to the bell, but
+recollecting herself, withdrew it again without pressing the spring.
+"There would be no use," said she, "in ringing the bell, for Sally never
+takes the least notice of it. She is principled against it, and says she
+will not be rung about the house like a negro. I have to indulge her in
+this laudable feeling of self-respect, for in everything that is
+essential she is a most valuable girl, and irons my dresses beautifully,
+and does up my collars and pelerines to admiration."
+
+So saying, Mrs. Accleton again left the parlour to have another
+expostulation with Sally, who finally vouchsafed to bring in the
+coal-scuttle, and flinging a few fresh coals on the top of the dying
+embers (from which all power of ignition had too visibly fled), put up
+the blower, and hurried out of the room. But the blower awakened no
+flame, and not a sound was heard to issue from behind its blank and
+dreary expanse. "I am afraid the fire is too far gone to be revived
+without a regular clearing out of the grate," said Mrs. Accleton, "and I
+doubt the possibility of prevailing on Sally to go through all that.
+Anthracite has certainly its disadvantages. Perhaps we had better
+adjourn to the dining-room, where there has been a good fire the whole
+day. If I had only known that you intended me the pleasure of this
+visit! However, I have no doubt you will find it very comfortable up
+stairs."
+
+To the dining-room they accordingly went. It was a little narrow
+apartment over the kitchen, with a low ceiling and small windows looking
+out on the dead wall of the next house, and furnished in the plainest
+and most economical manner. There was a little soap-stone grate that
+held about three quarts of coal, which, however, _was_ burning; a small
+round table that answered for every purpose; half a dozen
+wooden-bottomed cane-coloured chairs; and a small settee to match,
+covered with a calico cushion, and calculated to hold but two people.
+"This is just the size for my husband and myself," said Mrs. Accleton,
+as she placed herself on the settee. "We had it made on purpose. Will
+you take a seat on it, Miss Harriet, or would you prefer a chair? I
+expect Mr. Accleton home in a few minutes." Harriet preferred a chair.
+
+The conversation now turned on housekeeping, and the _nouvelle mariée_
+gave a circumstantial detail of her various plans, and expressed some
+surprise that, notwithstanding the excellence of her system, she found
+so much difficulty in getting servants to fall into it. "I have the most
+trouble with my cooks," pursued Mrs. Accleton. "I have had six
+different women in that capacity, though I have only been married two
+months. And I am sure Mr. Accleton and myself are by no means hard to
+please. We live in the plainest way possible, and a very little is
+sufficient for our table. Our meat is simply boiled or roasted, and
+often we have nothing more than a beefsteak. We never have any sort of
+dessert, considering all such things as extremely unwholesome." "What is
+the reason," thought Harriet, "that so many young ladies, when they are
+first married, discover immediately that desserts are unwholesome;
+particularly if prepared and eaten in their own houses?"
+
+Mrs. Accleton made frequent trips back and forward to the kitchen, and
+Harriet understood that tea was in agitation. Finally, Sally, looking
+very much out of humour, came and asked for the keys; and unlocking a
+dwarf side-board that stood in one of the recesses, she got out the
+common tea-equipage and placed it on the table. "You see, Miss Harriet,
+we treat you quite _en famille_," said Mrs. Accleton. "We make no
+stranger of you. After tea, the parlour will doubtless be warm, and we
+will go down thither." Harriet wondered if the anthracite was expected
+to repent of its obstinacy, and take to burning of its own accord.
+
+Mr. Accleton now came home, and his wife, after running to kiss him,
+exclaimed: "Oh! my dear, I am glad you are come! You can now entertain
+Miss Heathcote while I go down and pay some attention to the tea, for
+Sally protests that she was not hired to cook, and, if the truth must be
+told, she is very busy ironing, and does not like to be taken off. This
+is our regular ironing-day, and one of my rules is never, on any
+consideration, to have it put off or passed over. Method is the soul of
+housekeeping."
+
+Mr. Accleton was naturally taciturn, but he made a prodigious effort to
+entertain Harriet, and talked to her of the tariff.
+
+It was near eight o'clock before Sally condescended to bring up the tea
+and its accompaniments, which were a plate containing four slices of the
+thinnest possible bread and butter, another with two slices of pale
+toast, and a third with two shapeless whitish cakes, of what composition
+it was difficult to tell, but similar to those that are called
+flap-jacks in Boston, slap-jacks in New York, and buckwheat cakes in
+Philadelphia.[84] In the centre was a deep dish with a dozen small
+stewed oysters floating in an ocean of liquor, as tasteless and insipid
+as dish-water. The tea also was tasteless, and for two reasons--first,
+that the Chinese herb had been apportioned in a very small quantity; and
+secondly, that the kettle had not "come to a boil."
+
+[Footnote 84: Query? Which epithet is the most elegant, flap or slap? We
+rather think "the flaps have it."]
+
+"We give you tea in a very plain style," said Mrs. Accleton to Harriet;
+"you see we make no stranger of you, and that we treat you just as we do
+ourselves. We know that simple food is always the most wholesome, and
+when our friends are so kind as to visit us, we have no desire to make
+them sick by covering our table with dainties. It is one of my rules
+never to have a sweetcake or sweetmeat in the house. They are not only a
+foolish expense, but decidedly prejudicial to health."
+
+The hot cakes being soon despatched, there was considerable waiting for
+another supply. Mr. and Mrs. Accleton were at somewhat of a nonplus as
+to the most feasible means of procuring the attendance of Sally.
+"Perhaps she will come if we knock on the floor," said Mrs. Accleton;
+"she _has_ done so sometimes." Mr. Accleton stamped on the floor, but
+Sally came not. Harriet could not imagine why Sally's pride should be
+less hurt by coming to a knock on the floor than to a ring of the bell;
+but there is no accounting for tastes. Mr. Accleton stamped again, and
+much more loudly than before. "Now you have spoiled all," said his wife,
+fretfully; "Sally will never come now. She will be justly offended at
+your stamping for her in that violent way. I much question if we see her
+face again to-night."
+
+At last, after much canvassing, it was decided that Mr. Accleton should
+go to the head of the stairs and venture to call Sally; his wife
+enjoining him not to call too loudly, and to let his tone and manner be
+as mild as possible. This delicate business was successfully
+accomplished. Sally at last appeared with two more hot cakes, and Mrs.
+Accleton respectfully intimated to her that she wished her to return in
+a few minutes to clear away the table.
+
+Mr. Accleton, who was a meek man, being sent down by his wife to
+reconnoitre the parlour fire, came back and reported that it was "dead
+out." "How very unlucky," said Mrs. Accleton, "that Miss Heathcote
+should happen to come just on this evening! Unlucky for herself, I mean,
+for we must always be delighted to see her. However, I am so fond of
+this snug little room, that for my own part I have no desire ever to sit
+in any other. My husband and I have passed so many pleasant hours in
+it."
+
+The ladies now resumed their sewing; Mrs. Accleton talked of her plans,
+and her economy, and Sally; and Mr. Accleton pored over the newspaper as
+if he was learning it all by heart, even to the advertisements; while
+his wife, who had taken occasion to remark that the price of oil had
+risen considerably, managed two or three times to give the screw of the
+astral lamp a twist to the left, which so much diminished the light that
+Harriet could scarcely see to thread her needle.
+
+About an hour after tea, Mrs. Accleton called her husband to the other
+end of the room, and a half-whispered consultation took place between
+them, which ended in the disappearance of the gentleman. In a short time
+he returned, and there was another consultation, in the course of which
+Harriet could not avoid distinguishing the words--"Sally refuses to quit
+her clear-starching." "Well, dear, cannot I ask you just to do them
+yourself?" "Oh, no! indeed, it is quite out of the question; I would
+willingly oblige you in anything else." "But, dear, only think how often
+you have done this very thing when a boy." "But I am not a boy now."
+"Oh, but dear, you really must. There is no one else to do it. Come now,
+only a few, just a very few." There was a little more persuasion; the
+lady seemed to prevail, and the gentleman quitted the room. A short time
+after, there was heard a sound of cracking nuts, which Mrs. Accleton,
+consciously colouring, endeavoured to drown by talking as fast and as
+loudly as possible.
+
+We have said that Mr. Accleton was a meek man. Having finished his
+business down-stairs, he came back looking red and foolish; and after
+awhile Sally appeared with great displeasure in her countenance, and in
+her hands a waiter containing a plate of shellbarks, a pitcher of water,
+and some glasses. Mr. Accleton belonged to the temperance society, and
+therefore, as his wife said, was principled against having in his house,
+either wine, or any other sort of liquor.
+
+The arrival of Albert Heathcote put an end to this comfortless visit;
+and Mrs. Accleton on taking leave of Harriet, repeated, for the
+twentieth time, her regret at not having had any previous intimation of
+it.
+
+Our heroine could not but wonder why marriage should so soon have have
+made a change for the worse, in the lady with whom she had been passing
+the evening, and whom she had known when Miss Maiden, as a lively,
+pleasant, agreeable girl, not remarkable for much mind, but in every
+other respect the reverse of what she was now. Harriet had yet to learn
+that marriage, particularly when it takes place at a very early age, and
+before the judgment of the lady has had time to ripen by intercourse
+with the world, frequently produces a sad alteration in her habits and
+ideas. As soon as she is emancipated from the control of her parents,
+and when "her market is made," and a partner secured for life, all her
+latent faults and foibles are too prone to show themselves without
+disguise, and she is likewise in much danger of acquiring new ones.
+Presuming upon her importance as a married lady, and also upon the
+indulgence with which husbands generally regard all the sayings and
+doings of their wives in the _early_ days of matrimony, woman, as well
+as man, is indeed too apt to "play fantastic tricks when dressed in a
+little brief authority."
+
+Next day, Harriet was surprised by a morning visit from Mrs. Accleton,
+who came in looking much discomposed, and, after the first salutations,
+said in a tone of some bitterness, "I have met with a great misfortune,
+Miss Heathcote. I have lost that most valuable servant, Sally. The poor
+girl's pride was so deeply wounded at being obliged to bring in the
+waiter before company (and as her family is so respectable, she of
+course has a certain degree of proper pride), that she gave me notice
+this morning of the utter impossibility of her remaining in the house
+another day. I tried in vain to pacify her, and I assured her that your
+coming to tea was entirely accidental, and that such a thing might never
+happen again. All I could urge had no effect on her, and she persisted
+in saying that she never could stay in any place after her feelings had
+been hurt, and that she had concluded to live at home for the future,
+and take in sewing. So she quitted me at once, leaving me without a
+creature in the house, and I have been obliged to borrow mamma's Kitty
+for the present. And I have nearly fatigued myself to death by walking
+almost to Schuylkill to inquire the character of a cook that I heard of
+yesterday. As to a chambermaid, I never expect to find one that will
+replace poor Sally. She was so perfectly clean, and she clear-starched,
+and plaited, and ironed so beautifully; and when I went to a party, she
+could arrange my hair as well as a French barber, which was certainly a
+great saving to me. Undoubtedly, Miss Heathcote, your company is always
+pleasant, and we certainly spent a delightful evening, but if I had had
+the least intimation that you intended me the honour of a visit
+yesterday, I should have taken the liberty of requesting you to defer it
+till I had provided myself with a cook and a waiter. Poor Sally--and to
+think, too, that she had been ironing all day!"
+
+Harriet was much vexed, and attempted an apology for her ill-timed
+visit. She finally succeeded in somewhat mollifying the lady by
+presenting her with some cake and wine as a refreshment after her
+fatigue, and Mrs. Accleton departed in rather a better humour, but still
+the burthen of her song was, "of course, Miss Heathcote, your visits
+must be always welcome--but it is certainly a sad thing to lose poor
+Sally."
+
+Our heroine's next attempt at a sociable visit was to her friend Amanda
+Milbourne, the eldest daughter of a large family. As soon as Harriet
+made her entrance, the children, with all of whom she was a great
+favourite, gathered round, and informed her with delighted faces, that
+their father and mother were going to take them to the play. Harriet
+feared that again her visit had been ill-timed, and offered to return
+home. "On the contrary," said Mrs. Milbourne, "nothing can be more
+fortunate, at least for Amanda, who has declined accompanying us to the
+theatre, as her eyes are again out of order, and she is afraid of the
+lights. Therefore she will be extremely happy to have you spend the
+evening with her." "It is asking too much of Harriet's kindness," said
+Amanda, "to expect her to pass a dull evening alone with me; I fear I
+shall not be able to entertain her as I would wish. The place that was
+taken for me at the theatre will be vacant, and I am sure it would give
+you all great pleasure if Harriet would accept of it, and accompany you
+thither." This invitation was eagerly urged by Mr. and Mrs. Milbourne,
+and loudly reiterated by all the children, but Harriet had been at the
+theatre the preceding evening, the performances of to-night were exactly
+the same, and she was one of those that think "nothing so tedious as a
+twice-seen play," that is, if all the parts are filled precisely as
+before.
+
+Mrs. Milbourne then again felicitated Amanda on being so fortunate as to
+have Miss Heathcote to pass the evening with her. "To say the truth,"
+said the good mother, "I could scarcely reconcile myself to the idea of
+your staying at home, particularly as your eyes will not allow you to
+read or to sew this evening, and you could have no resource but the
+piano." Then turning to Harriet, she continued, "When her eyes are
+well, it may be truly remarked of Amanda, that she is one of those
+fortunate persons 'who are never less alone than when alone;' she often
+says so herself."
+
+Accordingly Harriet was prevailed on to go through with her visit. And
+as soon as tea was over, all the Milbourne family (with the exception of
+Amanda) departed for the theatre.
+
+Harriet produced her bead work, and endeavoured to be as amusing as
+possible, but her friend seemed silent, abstracted, and not in the vein
+for conversation, complaining at times of the pain in her eyes, which,
+however, looked as well as usual. Just after the departure of the
+family, Amanda stole softly to the front-door and put up the dead-latch,
+so that it could be opened from without. After that, she resumed her
+seat in the parlour, and appeared to be anxiously listening for
+something. The sound of footsteps was soon heard at the door, and
+presently a handsome young gentleman walked in without having rung the
+bell, and as he entered the parlour, stopped short, and looked
+disconcerted at finding a stranger there. Amanda blushed deeply, but
+rose and introduced him as Captain Sedbury of the army. Harriet then
+recollected having heard a vague report of an officer being very much in
+love with Miss Milbourne, and that her parents discountenanced his
+addresses, unwilling that the most beautiful and most accomplished of
+their daughters should marry a man who had no fortune but his
+commission.
+
+The fact was, that Captain Sedbury, after an absence of several months
+at his station, had only arrived in town that morning, and finding means
+to notify his mistress of his return, it had been arranged between them
+that he should visit her in the evening, during the absence of the
+family, and for this purpose Amanda had excused herself from going to
+the theatre. He took his seat beside Amanda, who contrived to give him
+her hand behind the backs of their chairs, and attempted some general
+conversation, catching, at times, an opportunity of saying in a low
+voice a few words to the lady of his love, whose inclination was
+evidently to talk to him only.
+
+Harriet Heathcote now found herself in a very awkward situation. On this
+occasion she was palpably what the French call _Madame de Trop_, a
+character which is irksome beyond all endurance to the lady herself, if
+she is a person of proper consideration for the convenience of others.
+Though conscious that they were wishing her at least in Alabama, she
+felt much sympathy for the lovers, as she had a favoured inamorato of
+her own, who was now on his return from Canton. She talked, and their
+replies were tardy and _distrait_; she looked at them, and they were
+gazing at each other, and several times she found them earnestly engaged
+in a whisper. She felt as if on thorns, and became so nervous that she
+actually got the headache. The dullness of Mrs. Drakelow, the sick baby
+of Mrs. Rushbrook, the feuds of the Miss Brandons, the failure of Mr.
+Celbridge, the music-practising of the Urlingfords, the maid Sally of
+the Accletons, had none of them at the time caused our heroine so much
+annoyance as she felt on this evening, from the idea that she was so
+inconveniently interrupting the stolen interview of two affianced
+lovers. At last she became too nervous to endure it any longer, and
+putting away her bead work, she expressed a desire to go home, pleading
+her headache as an excuse. Captain Sedbury started up with alacrity, and
+offered immediately to attend her. But Amanda, whose eyes had at first
+sparkled with delight, suddenly changed countenance, and begged Harriet
+to stay, saying, "You expect your brother, do you not?"
+
+"Certainly," replied Harriet, "but as the distance is short, I hope it
+will be no great encroachment on Captain Sedbury's time. And then," she
+added with a smile, "he will of course return hither and finish his
+visit, after he has deposited me at my own door."
+
+Amanda still hesitated. She recollected an instance of a friend of hers
+having lost her lover in consequence of his escorting home a pretty girl
+that made a "deadset" at him. And she was afraid to trust Captain
+Sedbury with so handsome a young lady as Miss Heathcote. Fortunately,
+however, Harriet removed this perplexity as soon as she guessed the
+cause. "Suppose," said she to Amanda, "that you were to accompany us
+yourself. It is a fine moonlight night, and I have no doubt the walk
+will do you good, as you say you have not been out for several days."
+
+To this proposal Amanda joyfully assented, and in a moment her face was
+radiant with smiles. She ran up stairs for her walking equipments, and
+was down so quickly that Harriet had not much chance of throwing out any
+allurements in her absence, even if she had been so disposed. The
+captain gave an arm to each of the ladies, and in a short time the
+lovers bade Miss Heathcote good night at the door of her father's
+mansion.
+
+Harriet now comprehended why her friend Amanda "was never less alone
+than when alone."
+
+Three weeks afterwards, when Miss Milbourne and Captain Sedbury had
+effected a runaway marriage, and the parents had forgiven them according
+to custom, Amanda and her husband made themselves and Harriet very merry
+by good-humouredly telling her how much her accidental visit had
+incommoded them, and how glad they were to get rid of her.
+
+We have only to relate one more instance of Harriet Heathcote's sociable
+visits. This was to her friends the Tanfields, a very charming family,
+consisting of a widow and her two daughters, whom she was certain of
+finding at home, because they were in deep mourning, and did not go out
+of an evening.
+
+Harriet had been detained by a visiter, and it was nearly dark when she
+reached Mrs. Tanfield's door, and was told by the coloured man who
+opened it, that all his ladies had set out that morning for New York,
+having heard that young Mr. Tanfield (who lived in that city) was
+dangerously ill. Harriet was sorry that her friends should have received
+such painful intelligence, and for a few moments could think of nothing
+else, for she knew young Tanfield to be one of the best of sons and
+brothers. Her next consideration was how to get home, as there was no
+possibility of staying at Mrs. Tanfield's. Her residence was at a
+considerable distance, and "the gloomy night was gathering fast." She
+thought for a moment of asking Peters, the black man, to accompany her;
+but from the loud chattering and giggling that came up from the kitchen,
+(which seemed to be lighted with unusual brightness), and from having
+noticed, as she approached the house, that innumerable coloured people
+were trooping down the area-steps, she rightly concluded that Mrs.
+Tanfield's servants had taken advantage of her absence to give a party,
+and that "high life below stairs" was at that moment performing.
+
+Fearing that if she requested Peters to escort her, he would comply very
+ungraciously, or perhaps excuse himself, rather than be taken away from
+his company, Miss Heathcote concluded on essaying to walk home by
+herself, for the first time in her life, after lamplight. As she turned
+from the door, (which Peters immediately closed) she lingered awhile on
+the step, looking out upon the increasing gloom, and afraid to venture
+into it. However, as there seemed no alternative, she summoned all her
+courage, and set off at a brisk pace. Her intention was to walk quietly
+along without showing the slightest apprehension, but she involuntarily
+shrunk aside whenever she met any of the other sex. On suddenly
+encountering a row of young men, arm in arm, with each a segar in his
+mouth, she came to a full stop, and actually shook with terror. They all
+looked at her a moment, and then made way for her to pass, and she felt
+as if she could have plunged into the wall to avoid touching them.
+
+Presently our heroine met three sailors reeling along, evidently
+intoxicated, and singing loudly. She kept as close as possible to the
+curbstone, expecting nothing else than to be rudely accosted by them,
+but they were too intent upon their song to notice her; though one of
+them staggered against her, and pushed her off the pavement, so as
+almost to throw her into the street.
+
+Her way home lay directly in front of the Walnut Street Theatre, which
+she felt it impossible to pass, as the people were just crowding in. And
+she now blessed the plan of the city which enabled her to avoid this
+inconvenience by "going round a square." The change of route took her
+into a street comparatively silent and retired, and now her greatest
+fear was of being seized and robbed. She would have given the world to
+have met any gentleman of her acquaintance, determining, if she did so,
+to request his protection home. At last she perceived one approaching,
+whose appearance she thought was familiar to her, and as they came
+within the light of a lamp, she found it to be Mr. Morland, an intimate
+friend of her brother's. He looked at her with a scrutinizing glance, as
+if he half-recognised her features under the shade of her hood. Poor
+Harriet now felt ashamed and mortified that Mr. Morland should see her
+alone and unprotected, walking in the street after dark. She had not
+courage to utter a word, but, drawing her hood more closely over her
+face, she glided hastily past him, and walked rapidly on. She had no
+sooner turned the corner of the street, than she regretted having obeyed
+the impulse of the moment, lamenting her want of presence of mind, and
+reflecting how much better it would have been for her to have stopped
+Mr. Morland, and candidly explained to him her embarrassing situation.
+But it was now too late.
+
+Presently there was a cry of fire, and the State House bell tolled out
+north-east, which was exactly the contrary direction from Mr.
+Heathcote's residence. Immediately an engine came thundering along the
+street, accompanied by a hose, and followed by several others, and
+Harriet found herself in the midst of the crowd and uproar, while the
+light of the torches carried by the firemen glared full upon her. But
+what had at first struck her with terror, she now perceived to be rather
+an advantage than otherwise, for no one noticed her in the general
+confusion, and it set every one to running the same way. She found, as
+she approached her father's dwelling, that there was no longer any
+danger of her being molested by man or boy, all being gone to the fire,
+and the streets nearly deserted. Anxious to get home at all hazards, she
+commenced running as fast as she could, and never stopped till she found
+herself at her own door.
+
+The family were amazed and alarmed when they saw Harriet run into the
+parlour, pale, trembling, and almost breathless, and looking half dead
+as she threw herself on the sofa, unable to speak; and she did not
+recover from her agitation, till she had relieved the hurry of her
+spirits by a flood of tears.
+
+It was some minutes before Harriet was sufficiently composed to begin an
+explanation of the events of the evening.
+
+"It is true," said she, "that I have not been actually molested or
+insulted, and I believe, after all, that in our orderly city there is
+little real danger to be apprehended by females of respectable
+appearance, when reduced to the sad necessity of walking alone in the
+evening. But still the mere supposition, the bare possibility of being
+thus exposed to the rudeness of the vulgar and unfeeling, will for ever
+prevent me from again subjecting myself to so intolerable a situation. I
+know not what could induce me again to go through all I have suffered
+since I left Mrs. Tanfield's door.--And this will be my last attempt at
+sociable visiting."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+We submit it to the opinion of our fair readers, whether, in nine cases
+out of ten, the visits of ladies do not "go off the better," if
+anticipated by some previous intimation. We believe that our position
+will be borne out by the experience both of the visiters and the
+visited. Our heroine, as we have seen, did not only, on most of these
+occasions, subject herself to much disappointment and annoyance, but she
+was likewise the cause of considerable inconvenience to her
+entertainers; and we can say with truth, that the little incidents we
+have selected "to point our moral and adorn our tale," are all sketched
+from life and reality.
+
+
+
+
+COUNTRY LODGINGS.
+
+     "Chacun a son gout."--_French Proverb._
+
+
+It has often been a subject of surprise to me, that so many even of
+those highly-gifted people who are fortunate enough to possess both
+sorts of sense (common and uncommon), show, nevertheless, on some
+occasions, a strange disinclination to be guided by the self-evident
+truth, that in all cases where the evil preponderates over the good, it
+is better to reject the whole than to endure a large portion of certain
+evil for the sake of a little sprinkling of probable good. I can think
+of nothing, just now, that will more aptly illustrate my position, than
+the practice so prevalent in the summer-months of quitting a commodious
+and comfortable home, in this most beautiful and convenient of cities,
+for the purpose of what is called boarding out of town; and wilfully
+encountering an assemblage of almost all "the ills that flesh is heir
+to," in the vain hope of finding superior coolness in those
+establishments that go under the denomination of country lodgings, and
+are sometimes to be met with in insulated locations, but generally in
+the unpaved and dusty streets of the villages and hamlets that are
+scattered about the vicinity of Philadelphia.
+
+These places are adopted as substitutes for the springs or the
+sea-shore; and it is also not unusual for persons who have already
+accomplished the fashionable tour, to think it expedient to board out of
+town for the remainder of the summer, or till they are frightened home
+by the autumnal epidemics.
+
+I have more than once been prevailed on to try this experiment, in the
+universal search after coolness which occupies so much of the attention
+of my fellow-citizens from June to September, and the result has been
+uniformly the same: a conviction that a mere residence beyond the
+limits of the city is not an infallible remedy for all the _désagrémens_
+of summer; that (to say nothing of other discomforts) it is possible to
+feel the heat more in a small house out of the town than in a large one
+in it.
+
+The last time I was induced to make a trial of the delights of country
+lodgings, I had been told of a very genteel lady (the widow of an
+Englishman, said to have been highly connected in his own country), who
+had taken a charming house at a short distance from the city, with the
+intention of accommodating boarders for the summer; and I finally
+allowed myself to be prevailed on to become an inmate of her
+establishment, as I had just returned from the north, and found the
+weather still very warm.
+
+Two of my friends, a lady and gentleman, accompanied me when I went to
+engage my apartment. The ride was a very short one, and we soon arrived
+at a white frame house with green window-shutters, and also a green gate
+which opened into a little front garden with one gravel walk, two grass
+plats, and four Lombardy poplar trees, which, though excluded in the
+city, still keep their ground in out-of-town places.
+
+There was no knocker, but, after hammering and shaking the door for near
+five minutes, it was at last opened by a barefooted bound-girl, who hid
+herself behind it as if ashamed to be seen. She wore a ragged light
+calico frock, through the slits of which appeared at intervals a black
+stuff petticoat: the body was only kept together with pins, and partly
+concealed by a dirty cape of coarse white muslin; one lock of her long
+yellow hair was stuck up by the wreck of a horn comb, and the remaining
+tresses hung about her shoulders. When we inquired if Mrs. Netherby was
+at home, the girl scratched her head, and stared as if stupified by the
+question, and on its being repeated, she replied that "she would go and
+look," and then left us standing at the door. A coloured servant would
+have opened the parlour, ushered us in, and with smiles and curtsies
+requested us to be seated. However, we took the liberty of entering
+without invitation: and the room being perfectly dark, we also used the
+freedom of opening the shutters.
+
+The floor was covered with a mat which fitted nowhere, and showed
+evidence of long service. Whatever air might have been introduced
+through the fire-place, was effectually excluded by a thick
+chimney-board, covered with a square of wall-paper representing King
+George IV. visiting his cameleopard. I afterwards found that Mrs.
+Netherby was very proud of her husband's English origin. The
+mantel-piece was higher than our heads, and therefore the mirror that
+adorned it was too elevated to be of any use. This lofty shelf was also
+decorated with two pasteboard baskets, edged with gilt paper, and
+painted with bunches of calico-looking flowers, two fire-screens ditto,
+and two card-racks in the shape of harps with loose and crooked strings
+of gold thread. In the centre of the room stood an old-fashioned round
+tea-table, the feet black with age, and the top covered with one of
+those coarse unbleached cloths of figured linen that always look like
+dirty white. The curiosities of the centre-table consisted of a tumbler
+of marigolds: a dead souvenir which had been a living one in 1826: a
+scrap work-box stuck all over with figures of men, women, and children,
+which had been most wickedly cut out of engravings and deprived of their
+backgrounds for this purpose: an album with wishy-washy drawings and
+sickening verses: a china writing-apparatus, destitute alike of ink,
+sand, and wafers: and a card of the British consul, which, I afterwards
+learnt, had once been left by him for Mr. Netherby.
+
+The walls were ornamented with enormous heads drawn in black crayon, and
+hung up in narrow gilt frames with bows of faded gauze riband. One head
+was inscribed Innocence, and had a crooked mouth; a second was
+Beneficence, with a crooked nose; and a third was Contemplation, with a
+prodigious swelling on one of her cheeks; and the fourth was Veneration,
+turning up two eyes of unequal size. The flesh of one of these heads
+looked like china, and another like satin; the third had the effect of
+velvet, and the fourth resembled plush.
+
+All these things savoured of much unfounded pretension; but we did not
+then know that they were chiefly the work of Mrs. Netherby herself, who,
+as we learned in the sequel, had been blest with a boarding-school
+education, and was, according to her own opinion, a person of great
+taste and high polish.
+
+It was a long time before the lady made her appearance, as we had
+arrived in the midst of the siesta in which it was the custom of every
+member of the establishment (servants included) to indulge themselves
+during the greatest part of the afternoon, with the exception of the
+bound-girl, who was left up to "mind the house." Mrs. Netherby was a
+tall, thin, sharp-faced woman, with an immense cap, that stood out all
+round, and encircled her head like a halo, and was embellished with an
+enormous quantity of yellowish gauze riband that seemed to incorporate
+with her huge yellow curls: fair hair being much affected by ladies who
+have survived all other fairness. She received us with abundance of
+smiles, and a profusion of flat compliments, uttered in a voice of
+affected softness; and on making known my business, I was conducted
+up-stairs to see a room which she said would suit me exactly. Mrs.
+Netherby was what is called "a sweet woman."
+
+The room was small, but looked tolerably well, and though I was not much
+prepossessed in favour of either the house or the lady, I was unwilling
+that my friends should think me too fastidious, and it was soon arranged
+that I should take possession the following day.
+
+Next afternoon I arrived at my new quarters; and tea being ready soon
+after, I was introduced to the other boarders, as they came down from
+their respective apartments. The table was set in a place dignified with
+the title of "the dining-room," but which was in reality a sort of
+anti-kitchen, and located between the acknowledged kitchen and the
+parlour. It still retained vestiges of a dresser, part of which was
+entire, in the shape of the broad lower-shelf and the under-closets.
+This was painted red, and Mrs. Netherby called it the side-board. The
+room was narrow, the ceiling was low, the sunbeams had shone full upon
+the windows the whole afternoon, and the heat was extreme. A mulatto man
+waited on the tea-table, with his coat out at elbows, and a marvellous
+dirty apron, not thinking it worth his while to wear good clothes in the
+country. And while he was tolerably attentive to every one else, he made
+a point of disregarding or disobeying every order given to him by Mrs.
+Netherby: knowing that for so trifling a cause as disrespect to herself,
+she would not dare to dismiss him at the risk of getting no one in his
+place; it being always understood that servants confer a great favour on
+their employers when they condescend to go with them into the country.
+Behind Mrs. Netherby's chair stood the long-haired bound girl (called
+Anna by her mistress, and Nance by Bingham the waiter), waving a green
+poplar branch by way of fly-brush, and awkwardly flirting it in every
+one's face.
+
+The aspect of the tea-table was not inviting. Everything was in the
+smallest possible quantity that decency would allow. There was a plate
+of rye-bread, and a plate of wheat, and a basket of crackers: another
+plate with half a dozen paltry cakes that looked as if they had been
+bought under the old Court House: some morsels of dried beef on two
+little tea-cup plates, and a small glass dish of that preparation of
+curds, which in vulgar language is called smearcase, but whose _nom de
+guerre_ is cottage-cheese, at least that was the appellation given it by
+our hostess. The tea was so weak that it was difficult to discover
+whether it was black or green; but, finding it undrinkable, I requested
+a glass of milk: and when Bingham brought me one, Mrs. Netherby said
+with a smile, "See what it is to live in the country!" Though, after
+all, we were not out of sight of Christ Church steeple.
+
+The company consisted of a lady with three very bad children; another
+with a very insipid daughter, about eighteen or twenty, who, like her
+mother, seemed utterly incapable of conversation; and a fat Mrs.
+Pownsey, who talked an infinite deal of nothing, and soon took occasion
+to let me know that she had a very handsome house in the city. The
+gentlemen belonging to these ladies never came out till after tea, and
+returned to town early in the morning.
+
+Towards sunset, I proposed taking a walk with the young lady, but she
+declined on account of the dew, and we returned to the parlour, where
+there was no light during the whole evening, as Mrs. Netherby declared
+that she thought nothing was more pleasant than to sit in a dark room in
+the summer. And when we caught a momentary glimpse from the candles that
+were carried past the door as the people went up and down stairs, we had
+the pleasure of finding that innumerable cockroaches were running over
+the floor and probably over our feet; these detestable insects having
+also a fancy for darkness.
+
+The youngest of the mothers went up stairs to assist her maid in the
+arduous task of putting the children to bed, a business that occupied
+the whole evening; though the eldest boy stoutly refused to go at all,
+and stretching himself on the settee, he slept there till ten o'clock,
+when his father carried him off kicking and screaming.
+
+The gentlemen talked altogether of trade and bank business. Some
+neighbours came in, and nearly fell over us in the dark. Finding the
+parlour (which had but one door) most insupportably warm, I took my seat
+in the entry, a narrow passage which Mrs. Netherby called the hall.
+Thither I was followed by Mrs. Pownsey, a lady of the Malaprop school,
+who had been talking to me all the evening of her daughters, Mary
+Margaret and Sarah Susan, they being now on a visit to an aunt in
+Connecticut. These young ladies had been educated, as their mother
+informed me, entirely by herself, on a plan of her own: and, as she
+assured me, with complete success; for Sarah Susan, the youngest, though
+only ten years old, was already regarded as quite a phinnominy
+(phenomenon), and as to Mary Margaret, she was an absolute prodigal.
+
+"I teach them everything myself," said she, "except their French, and
+music, and drawing, in all which they take lessons from the first
+masters. And Mr. Bullhead, an English gentleman, comes twice a week to
+attend to their reading and writing and arithmetic, and the grammar of
+geography. They never have a moment to themselves, but are kept busy
+from morning till night. You know that idleness is the root of all
+evil."
+
+"It is certainly the root of _much_ evil," I replied; "but you know the
+old adage, which will apply equally to both sexes--'All work and no play
+makes Jack a dull boy.'"
+
+"Oh! they often play," resumed Mrs. Pownsey. "In the evening, after they
+have learned their lessons, they have games of history, and botany, and
+mathematics, and all such instructive diversions. I allow them no other
+plays. Their minds certainly are well stored with all the arts and
+science. At the same time, as I wish them to acquire a sufficient idea
+of what is going on in the world, I permit them every day to read over
+the Marianne List in our New York paper, the Chimerical Advertiser, that
+they may have a proper knowledge of ships: and also Mr. Walsh's Experts
+in his Gazette; though I believe he does not write these little moral
+things himself, but hires Mr. Addison, and Mr. Bacon, and Mr. Locke, and
+other such gentlemen for the purpose. The Daily Chronicle I never allow
+them to touch, for there is almost always a story in every paper, and
+none of these stories are warranted to be true, and reading falsehoods
+will learn them to tell fibs."
+
+I was much amused with this process of reasoning, though I had more than
+once heard such logic on the subject of fictitious narratives.
+
+"But, surely, Mrs. Pownsey," said I, "you do not interdict all works of
+imagination? Do you never permit your daughters to read for amusement?"
+
+"Never," replied this wisest of mothers; "amusement is the high-road to
+vice. Indeed, with all their numerous studies, they have little or no
+time for reading anything. And when they have, I watch well that they
+shall read only books of instruction, such as Mr. Bullhead chooses for
+them. They are now at Rowland's Ancient History (I am told he is not the
+same Rowland that makes the Maccassar oil), and they have already got
+through seven volumes. Their Aunt Watson (who, between ourselves, is
+rather a weak-minded woman) is shocked at the children reading that
+book, and says it is filled with crimes and horrors. But so is all the
+Ancient History that ever I heard of, and of course it is proper that
+little girls should know these things. They will get a great deal more
+benefit from Rowland than from reading Miss Edgeworth's story-books,
+that sister Watson is always recommending."
+
+"Have they ever read the history of their own country?" said I.
+
+"I suppose you mean the History of America," replied Mrs. Pownsey. "Oh!
+that is of no consequence at all, and Mr. Bullhead says it is never read
+in England. After they have got through Rowland, they are going to begin
+Sully's Memoirs. I know Mr. Sully very well; and when they have read it,
+I will make the girls tell me his whole history; he painted my portrait,
+and a most delightful man he is, only rather obstinate; for with all I
+could say, I could not prevail on him to rub out the white spots that he
+foolishly put in the black part of my eyes. And he also persisted in
+making one side of my nose darker than the other. It is strange that in
+these things painters will always take their own course in spite of us,
+as if we that pay for the pictures have not a right to direct them as we
+please. But the artist people are all alike. My friend, Mrs. Oakface,
+tells me she had just the same trouble with Mr. Neagle; in that respect
+he's quite as bad as Mr. Sully."
+
+She paused a moment to take breath, and then proceeded in continuation
+of the subject. "Now we talk of pictures, you have no idea what
+beautiful things my daughters can paint. The very first quarter they
+each produced two pieces to frame. And Mary Margaret is such a capital
+judge of these things, that whenever she is looking at a new souvenir,
+her first thought is to see who did the pictures, that she may know
+which to praise and which not. There are a great many artists now, but I
+remember the time when almost all the pictures were done by Mr. Sculp
+and Mr. Pinx. And then as to music! I wish you could hear my daughters.
+Their execution is wonderful. They can play crotchets quite as well as
+quivers; and they sing sollos, and dooets, and tryos, and quartetties
+equal to the Musical Fund. I long for the time when they are old enough
+to come out. I will go with them everywhere myself; I am determined to
+be their perpetual shabberoon."
+
+So much for the lady that educated her daughters herself.
+
+And still, when the mother is capable and judicious, I know no system of
+education that is likely to be attended with more complete success than
+that which keeps the child under the immediate superintendence of those
+who are naturally the most interested in her improvement and welfare;
+and which removes her from the contagion of bad example, and the danger
+of forming improper or unprofitable acquaintances. Some of the finest
+female minds I have ever known received all their cultivation at home.
+But much, indeed, are those children to be commiserated, whose education
+has been undertaken by a vain and ignorant parent.
+
+About nine o'clock, Mrs. Netherby had begun to talk of the lateness of
+the hour, giving hints that it was time to think of retiring for the
+night, and calling Bingham to shut up the house: which order he did not
+see proper to obey till half-past ten. I then (after much delay and
+difficulty in obtaining a bed-candle) adjourned to my own apartment, the
+evening having appeared to me of almost interminable length, as is
+generally the case with evenings that are passed without light.
+
+The night was warm, and after removing the chimney-board, I left the
+sash of my window open: though I had been cautioned not to do so, and
+told that in the country the night air was always unwholesome. But I
+remembered Dr. Franklin's essay on the art of sleeping well. It was long
+before I closed my eyes, as the heat was intense, and my bed very
+uncomfortable. The bolster and pillow were nearly flat for want of
+sufficient feathers, and the sheets of thick muslin were neither long
+enough nor wide enough. At "the witching time of night," I was suddenly
+awakened by a most terrible shrieking and bouncing in my room, and
+evidently close upon me. I started up in a fright, and soon ascertained
+the presence of two huge cats, who, having commenced a duel on the
+trellis of an old blighted grape-vine that unfortunately ran under the
+back windows, had sprung in at the open sash, and were finishing the
+fight on my bed, biting and scratching each other in a style that an old
+backwoodsman would have recognised as the true rough and tumble.
+
+With great difficulty I succeeded in expelling my fiendish visiters,
+and to prevent their return, there was nothing to be done but to close
+the sash. There were no shutters, and the only screen was a scanty
+muslin curtain, divided down the middle with so wide a gap that it was
+impossible to close it effectually. The air being now excluded, the heat
+was so intolerable as to prevent me from sleeping, and the cats remained
+on the trellis, looking in at the window with their glaring eyes,
+yelling and scratching at the glass, and trying to get in after some
+mice that were beginning to course about the floor.
+
+The heat, the cats and the mice, kept me awake till near morning; and I
+fell asleep about daylight, when I dreamed that a large cat stood at my
+bed-side, and slowly and gradually swelling to the size of a tiger,
+darted its long claws into my throat. Of course, I again woke in a
+fright, and regretted my own large room in the city, where there was no
+trellis under my windows, and where the sashes were made to slide down
+at the top.
+
+I rose early with the intention of taking a walk, as was my custom when
+in town, but the grass was covered with dew, and the road was ankle-deep
+in dust. So I contented myself with making a few circuits round the
+garden, where I saw four altheas, one rose-tree, and two currant-bushes,
+with a few common flowers on each side of a grass-grown gravel walk;
+neither the landlord nor the tenant being willing to incur any further
+expense by improving the domain. The grape-vine and trellis had been
+erected by a former occupant, a Frenchman, who had golden visions of
+wine-making.
+
+At breakfast, we were regaled with muddy water, miscalled coffee; a
+small dish of doubtful eggs; and another of sliced cucumbers, very
+yellow and swimming in sweetish vinegar; also two plates containing
+round white lumps of heavy half-baked dough, dignified by the title of
+Maryland biscuit; and one of dry toast, the crumb left nearly white, and
+the crust burnt to a coal.
+
+After breakfast, there came walking into the room a tame white pigeon,
+which Mrs. Netherby told us was a turtle-dove. "Dear sweet Phebe," she
+exclaimed, taking up the bird and fondling it, "has it come for its
+breakfast; well, then, kiss its own mistress, and it shall have some
+nice soft bread."
+
+The pigeon was then handed round to be admired (it was really a pretty
+one), and Mrs. Netherby told us a long story of its coming to the house
+in the early part of the summer with its mate, who was soon after
+killed by lightning in consequence of sitting on the roof close by the
+conductor during a thunderstorm, and she was very eloquent and
+sentimental in describing the manner in which Phebe had mourned for her
+deceased companion, declaring that the widowed _dove_ often reminded her
+of herself after she had lost poor dear Mr. Netherby.
+
+Our hostess then crumbled some bread on the floor, and placed near it a
+saucer of water, and she rose greatly in my estimation when I observed
+the fixed look of delight with which she gazed on the pet-bird, and her
+evident fondness as she caressed it, and carried it out of the room,
+after it had finished its repast. "Notwithstanding her parsimony and her
+pretension," thought I, "Mrs. Netherby has certainly a good heart."
+
+I went to my own room, and could easily have beguiled the morning with
+my usual occupations, but that I was much incommoded by the intense heat
+of my little apartment, whose thin walls were completely penetrated by
+the sun. Also, I was greatly annoyed by the noise of the children in the
+next room and on the staircase. It was not the joyous exhilaration of
+play, or the shouts and laughter of good-humoured romping (all that I
+could easily have borne); but I heard only an incessant quarrelling,
+fighting, and screaming, which was generally made worse by the
+interference of the mother whenever she attempted to silence it.
+
+Shortly before dinner, the bound-girl came up and went the rounds of all
+the chambers to collect the tumblers from the washing-stands, which
+tumblers were made to perform double duty by figuring also on the
+dining-table. This would have been no great inconvenience, only that no
+one remembered to bring them back again, and the glasses were not
+restored to our rooms till after repeated applications.
+
+The dinner consisted of very salt fried ham; and a pair of skeleton
+chickens, with a small black-looking leg of mutton; and a few
+half-drained vegetables, set about on little plates with a puddle of
+greasy water in the bottom of each. However, as we were in the country,
+there was a pitcher of milk for those that chose to drink milk at
+dinner. For the dessert we had half a dozen tasteless custards, the tops
+burnt, and the cups half-full of whey, a plate of hard green pears,
+another of hard green apples, and a small whitish watermelon.
+
+"What a fine thing it is to be in the country," said Mrs. Netherby,
+"and have such abundance of delicious fruit! I can purchase every
+variety from my next neighbour."
+
+The truth is, that even where there is really an inclination to furnish
+a good table, there is generally much difficulty and inconvenience in
+procuring the requisite articles at any country place that is not
+absolutely a farm, and where the arrangements are not on an extensive
+scale. Mrs. Netherby, however, made no apology for any deficiency, but
+always went on with smiling composure, praising everything on the table,
+and wondering how people could think of remaining in the city when they
+might pass the summer in the country. As the gentlemen ate their meals
+in town (a proof of their wisdom), ours were very irregular as to time;
+Mrs. Netherby supposing that it could make no difference to ladies, or
+to any persons who had not business that required punctual attention.
+
+Two days after my arrival, the dust having been laid by a shower, Mrs.
+Pownsey and myself set out to walk on the road, in the latter part of
+the afternoon. When we came home, I found that the washing-stand had
+been removed from my room, and the basin and pitcher placed in the
+corner on a little triangular shelf that had formerly held a flower-pot.
+The mirror was also gone, and I found as a substitute a little
+half-dollar Dutch glass in a narrow red frame. The two best chairs were
+also missing, one chair only being left, and that a broken one; and a
+heavy patch-work quilt had taken the place of the white dimity
+bed-cover. I learnt that these articles had been abstracted to furnish a
+chamber that was as yet disengaged, and which they were to decorate by
+way of enticing a new-comer. Next morning, after my room had been put in
+order, I perceived that the mattrass had been exchanged for a
+feather-bed, and on inquiring the reason of Mrs. Netherby she told me,
+with much sweetness, that it had been taken for two southern ladies that
+were expected in the afternoon, and who, being southern, could not
+possibly sleep on anything but a mattrass, and that she was sorry to
+cause me any inconvenience, but it would be a great disadvantage to
+_her_ if they declined coming.
+
+In short, almost every day something disappeared from my room to assist
+in fitting up apartments for strangers; the same articles being
+afterwards transferred to others that were still unoccupied. But what
+else was to be done, when Mrs. Netherby mildly represented the
+impossibility of getting things at a short notice from town?
+
+My time passed very monotonously. The stock of books I had brought with
+me was too soon exhausted, and I had no sewing of sufficient importance
+to interest my attention. The nonsense of Mrs. Pownsey became very
+tiresome, and the other ladies were mere automatons. The children were
+taken sick (as children generally are at country lodgings), and fretted
+and cried all the time. I longed for the society of my friends in the
+city, and for the unceremonious visits that are so pleasant in summer
+evenings.
+
+After a trial of two weeks, during which I vainly hoped that custom
+would reconcile me to much that had annoyed me at first, I determined to
+return to Philadelphia; in the full persuasion that this would be my
+last essay at boarding out of town.
+
+On the day before my departure, we were all attracted to the
+front-garden, to see a company of city volunteers, who were marching to
+a certain field where they were to practise shooting at a target. While
+we were lingering to catch the last glimpse of them as long as they
+remained in sight, the cook came to Mrs. Netherby (who was affectedly
+smelling the leaves of a dusty geranium), and informed her that though
+she had collected all the cold meat in the house, there was still not
+enough to fill the pie that was to be a part of the dinner.[85] "Oh!
+then," replied Mrs. Netherby, with perfect sang-froid, and in her usual
+soft voice, "put Phebe on the top of it--put Phebe on the top." "Do you
+mean," said the cook, "that I am to kill the pigeon to help out with?"
+"Certainly," rejoined Mrs. Netherby, "put Phebe in the pie."
+
+[Footnote 85: Fact.]
+
+There was a general exclamation from all present, except from the
+automaton young lady and her mamma; and the children who were looking
+out of the front windows were loud in lamentations for the poor pigeon,
+who, in truth, had constituted their only innocent amusement. For my
+part, I could not forbear openly expressing my surprise that Mrs.
+Netherby should think for a moment of devoting her pet pigeon to such a
+purpose, and I earnestly deprecated its impending fate.
+
+Mrs. Netherby reddened, and forgetting her usual mildness, her eyes
+assumed a very cat-like expression as she replied to me in a loud sharp
+voice. "Upon my word, miss, this is very strange. Really, you astonish
+me. This is something quite new. I am not at all accustomed to having
+the ladies of my family to meddle in my private affairs. Really, miss,
+it is excessively odd that you should presume to dictate to me about
+the disposal of my own property. I have some exquisite veal-cutlets and
+some delicious calves-feet, but the pie is wanted for a centre dish. I
+am always, as you know, particular in giving my table a handsome
+set-out."
+
+In vain we protested our willingness to dine without the centre dish,
+rather than the pigeon, whom we regarded in the light of an intimate
+acquaintance, should be killed to furnish it, all declaring that nothing
+could induce us to taste a mouthful of poor Phebe. Mrs. Netherby,
+obstinately bent on carrying her point (as is generally the case with
+women who profess an extra portion of sweetness), heard us unmoved, only
+replying, "Certainly, miss, you cannot deny that the bird is mine, and
+that I have a right to do as I please with my own property. Phillis, put
+Phebe in the pie!"
+
+The cook grinned, and stood irresolute; when suddenly Bingham the waiter
+stepped up with Phebe in his hands, and calling to a black boy of his
+acquaintance, who lived in the neighbourhood, and was passing at the
+moment: "Here, Harrison," said he, "are you going to town?" "Yes,"
+replied the boy, "I am going there of an errand." "Then take this here
+pigeon with you," said Bingham, "and give it as a gift from me to your
+sister Louisa. You need not tell her to take good care of it. I know
+she'll affection it for my sake. There, take it, and run." So saying, he
+handed the pigeon over the fence to the boy, who ran off with it
+immediately, and Bingham coolly returned to the kitchen, whistling as he
+went.
+
+"Well, if I ever saw the like!" exclaimed Mrs. Netherby. "But Bingham
+will always have his way; he's really a strange fellow." Then, looking
+foolish and subdued, she walked into the house. I could not help
+laughing, and was glad that the life of the poor pigeon had been saved
+on any terms, though sorry to find that Mrs. Netherby, after all, had
+not the redeeming quality I ascribed to her.
+
+To conclude,--I have no doubt that summer establishments may be found
+which are in many respects more agreeable than the one I have attempted
+to describe. But it has not been my good fortune, or that of my friends
+who have adopted this plan of getting through the warm weather, to meet
+with any country lodgings (of course, I have no reference to decided
+farm-houses), in which the comparison was not decidedly in favour of the
+superior advantages of remaining in a commodious mansion in the city,
+surrounded with the comforts of home, and "with all the appliances, and
+means to boot," which only a large town can furnish.
+
+
+
+
+CONSTANCE ALLERTON;
+
+OR,
+
+THE MOURNING SUITS.
+
+     "But I have that within which passeth show."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Mr. Allerton, a merchant of Philadelphia, had for some years been doing
+business to considerable advantage, when a sudden check was put to his
+prosperity by the unexpected failure of a house for which he had
+endorsed to a very large amount. There was no alternative but to
+surrender everything to his creditors; and this he did literally and
+conscientiously. He brought down his mind to his circumstances; and as,
+at that juncture, the precarious state of the times did not authorize
+any hope of success if he recommenced business (as he might have done)
+upon borrowed capital, he gladly availed himself of a vacant clerkship
+in one of the principal banks of the city.
+
+His salary, however, would have been scarcely adequate to the support of
+his family, had he not added something to his little stipend by
+employing his leisure hours in keeping the books of a merchant. He
+removed with his wife and children to a small house in a remote part of
+the city; and they would, with all his exertions, have been obliged to
+live in the constant exercise of the most painful economy, had it not
+been for the aid they derived from his sister Constance Allerton. Since
+the death of her parents, this young lady had resided at New Bedford
+with her maternal aunt, Mrs. Ilford, a quakeress, who left her a legacy
+of ten thousand dollars.
+
+After the demise of her aunt, Miss Allerton took lodgings at a private
+house in New Bedford; but on hearing of her brother's misfortunes, she
+wrote to know if it would be agreeable to him and to his family for her
+to remove to Philadelphia, and to live with them--supposing that the sum
+she would pay for her accommodation might, in their present
+difficulties, prove a welcome addition to their income. This proposal
+was joyfully acceded to, as Constance was much beloved by every member
+of her brother's family, and had kept up a continual intercourse with
+them by frequent letters, and by an annual visit of a few weeks to
+Philadelphia.
+
+At this period, Constance Allerton had just completed her twenty-third
+year. She had a beautiful face, a fine graceful figure, and a highly
+cultivated mind. With warm feelings and deep sensibility, she possessed
+much energy of character--a qualification which, when called forth by
+circumstances, is often found to be as useful in a woman as in a man.
+Affectionate, generous, and totally devoid of all selfish
+considerations, Constance had nothing so much at heart as the comfort
+and happiness of her brother's family; and to become an inmate of their
+house was as gratifying to her as it was to them. She furnished her own
+apartment, and shared it with little Louisa, the youngest of her three
+nieces, a lovely child about ten years old. She insisted on paying the
+quarter bills of her nephew Frederic Allerton, and volunteered to
+complete the education of his sisters, who were delighted to receive
+their daily lessons from an instructress so kind, so sensible, and so
+competent. Exclusive of these arrangements, she bestowed on them many
+little presents, which were always well-timed and judiciously selected;
+though, to enable her to purchase these gifts, she was obliged, with her
+limited income of six hundred dollars, to deny herself many
+gratifications, and, indeed, conveniences, to which she had hitherto
+been accustomed, and the want of which she now passed over with a
+cheerfulness and delicacy which was duly appreciated by the objects of
+her kindness.
+
+In this manner the family had been living about a twelvemonth, when Mr.
+Allerton was suddenly attacked by a violent and dangerous illness, which
+was soon accompanied by delirium; and in a few days it brought him to
+the brink of the grave.
+
+His disease baffled the skill of an excellent physician; and the
+unremitting cares of his wife and sister could only effect a slight
+alleviation of his sufferings. He expired on the fifth day, without
+recovering his senses, and totally unconscious of the presence of the
+heart-struck mourners that were weeping round his bed.
+
+When Mr. Allerton's last breath had departed, his wife was conveyed from
+the room in a fainting-fit. Constance endeavoured to repress her own
+feelings, till she had rendered the necessary assistance to Mrs.
+Allerton, and till she had somewhat calmed the agony of the children.
+She then retired to her own apartment, and gave vent to a burst of
+grief, such as can only be felt by those in whose minds and hearts there
+is a union of sense and sensibility. With the weak and frivolous, sorrow
+is rarely either acute or lasting.
+
+The immortal soul of Mr. Allerton had departed from its earthly
+tenement, and it was now necessary to think of the painful details that
+belonged to the disposal of his inanimate corpse. As soon as Constance
+could command sufficient courage to allow her mind to dwell on this
+subject, she went down to send a servant for Mr. Denman (an old friend
+of the family), whom she knew Mrs. Allerton would wish to take charge of
+the funeral. At the foot of the stairs, she met the physician, who, by
+her pale cheeks, and by the tears that streamed from her eyes at sight
+of him, saw that all was over. He pressed her hand in sympathy; and,
+perceiving that she was unable to answer his questions, he bowed and
+left the house.
+
+In a short time, Mr. Denman arrived; and Mrs. Allerton declaring herself
+incompetent to the task, Constance saw the gentleman, and requested him
+to make every necessary arrangement for a plain but respectable funeral.
+
+At such times, how every little circumstance seems to add a new pang to
+the agonized feelings of the bereaved family! The closing of the
+window-shutters, the arrival of the woman whose gloomy business it is to
+prepare the corpse for interment, the undertaker coming to take measure
+for the coffin, the removal of the bedding on which the deceased has
+expired, the gliding step, the half-whispered directions--all these sad
+indications that death is in the house, fail not, however quietly and
+carefully managed, to reach the ears and hearts of the afflicted
+relatives, assisted by the intuitive knowledge of what is so well
+understood to be passing at these melancholy moments.
+
+In the evening, after Louisa had cried herself to sleep, Constance
+repaired to the apartment of her sister-in-law, whom, about an hour
+before, she had left exhausted and passive. Mrs. Allerton was extended
+on the bed, pale and silent; her daughters, Isabella and Helen, were in
+tears beside her; and Frederick had retired to his room.
+
+In the fauteuil, near the head of the bed, sat Mrs. Bladen, who, in the
+days of their prosperity, had been the next door neighbour of the
+Allerton family, and who still continued to favour them with frequent
+visits. She was one of those busy people who seem almost to verify the
+justly-censured maxim of Rochefoucault, that "in the misfortunes of our
+best friends, there is always something which is pleasing to us."
+
+True it was that Mrs. Bladen, being a woman of great leisure, and of a
+disposition extremely officious, devoted most of her time and attention
+to the concerns of others; and any circumstances that prevented her
+associates from acting immediately for themselves, of course threw open
+a wider field for her interference.
+
+"And now, my dear friends," said Mrs. Bladen, squeezing Mrs. Allerton's
+hand, and looking at Constance, who seated herself in an opposite chair,
+"as the funeral is to take place on Thursday, you know there is no time
+to be lost. What have you fixed on respecting your mourning? I will
+cheerfully attend to it for you, and bespeak everything necessary."
+
+At the words "funeral" and "mourning," tears gushed again from the eyes
+of the distressed family; and neither Mrs. Allerton nor Constance could
+command themselves sufficiently to reply.
+
+"Come, my dear creatures," continued Mrs. Bladen, "you must really make
+an effort to compose yourselves. Just try to be calm for a few minutes,
+till we have settled this business. Tell me what I shall order for you.
+However, there is but one rule on these occasions--crape and bombazine,
+and everything of the best. Nothing, you know, is more disreputable than
+mean mourning."
+
+"I fear, then," replied Mrs. Allerton, "that our mourning attire must be
+mean enough. The situation in which we are left will not allow us to go
+to any unnecessary expense in that, or in anything else. We had but
+little to live upon--we could lay by nothing. We have nothing
+beforehand: we did not--we could not apprehend that this dreadful event
+was so near. And you know that his salary--that Mr. Allerton's
+salary--of course, expires with him."
+
+"So I suppose, my dear friend," answered Mrs. Bladen; "but you know you
+_must_ have mourning; and as the funeral takes place so soon, there will
+be little enough time to order it and have it made."
+
+"We will borrow dresses to wear at the--to wear on Thursday," said Mrs.
+Allerton.
+
+"And of whom will you borrow?"
+
+"I do not know. I have not yet thought."
+
+"The Liscom family are in black," observed Isabella; "no doubt they
+would lend us dresses."
+
+"Oh! none of their things will fit you at all," exclaimed Mrs. Bladen.
+"None of the Liscoms have the least resemblance to any of you, either in
+height or figure. You would look perfectly ridiculous in _their_
+things."
+
+"Then there are Mrs. Patterson and her daughters," said Helen.
+
+"The Pattersons," replied Mrs. Bladen, "are just going to leave off
+black; and nothing that _they_ have looks either new or fresh. You know
+how soon black becomes rusty. You certainly would feel very much
+mortified if you had to make a shabby appearance at Mr. Allerton's
+funeral. Besides, nobody now wears borrowed mourning--it can always be
+detected in a moment. No--with a little exertion--and I repeat that I am
+willing to do all in my power--there is time enough to provide the whole
+family with genteel and proper mourning suits. And as you _must_ get
+them at last, it is certainly much better to have them at first, so as
+to appear handsomely at the funeral."
+
+"Oh!" exclaimed Mrs. Allerton, sighing, "at such a time, what
+consequence can we possibly attach to our external appearance? How can
+we for a moment think of it?"
+
+"To be sure, my dear friend," said Mrs. Bladen, kissing her, "you have
+had a very severe loss--very severe, indeed. It is really quite
+irreparable; and I can sincerely sympathize in your feelings. Certainly
+everybody ought to feel on these occasions; but you know it is
+impossible to devote every moment between this and the funeral to tears
+and sobs. One cannot be crying all the time--nobody ever does. And, as
+to the mourning, that is of course indispensable, and a thing that
+_must_ be."
+
+Mrs. Allerton wept bitterly. "Indeed, indeed!" said she, "I cannot
+discuss it now."
+
+"And if it is not settled to-night," resumed Mrs. Bladen, "there will
+be hardly time to-morrow to talk it over, and get the things, and send
+to the mantua-maker's and milliner's. You had better get it off your
+mind at once. Suppose you leave it entirely to me. I attended to all the
+mourning for the Liscoms, and the Weldons, and the Nortons. It is a
+business I am quite used to. I pique myself on being rather clever at
+it."
+
+"I will, then, trust to your judgment," replied Mrs. Allerton, anxious
+to get rid of the subject, and of the light frivolous prattle of her
+_soi-disant_ dear friend. "Be kind enough to undertake it, and procure
+for us whatever you think suitable--only let it not be too expensive."
+
+"As to that," answered Mrs. Bladen, "crape is crape, and bombazine is
+bombazine; and as everybody likes to have these articles of good
+quality, nothing otherwise is now imported for mourning. With regard to
+Frederick's black suit, Mr. Watson will send to take his measure, and
+there will be no further difficulty about it. Let me see--there must be
+bombazine for five dresses: that is, for yourself, three daughters, and
+Miss Allerton."
+
+"Not for me," said Constance, taking her handkerchief from her eyes. "I
+shall not get a bombazine."
+
+"My dear creature!" cried Mrs. Bladen; "not get a bombazine! You
+astonish me! What else can you possibly have? Black gingham or black
+chintz is only fit for wrappers; and black silk is no mourning at all."
+
+"I shall wear no mourning," replied Constance, with a deep sigh.
+
+"Not wear mourning!" ejaculated Mrs. Bladen. "What, no mourning at all!
+Not wear mourning for your own brother! Now you do indeed surprise me."
+
+Mrs. Allerton and her daughters were also surprised; and they withdrew
+their handkerchiefs from their eyes, and gazed on Constance, as if
+scarcely believing that they had understood her rightly.
+
+"I have considered it well," resumed Miss Allerton; "and I have come to
+a conclusion to make no change in my dress. In short, to wear no
+mourning, even for my brother--well as I have loved him, and deeply as I
+feel his loss."
+
+"This is very strange," said Mrs. Allerton.
+
+"Excuse me, Miss Constance," said Mrs. Bladen, "but have you no respect
+for his memory? He was certainly an excellent man."
+
+"Respect for his memory!" exclaimed Constance, bursting into tears.
+"Yes! I indeed respect his memory! And were he still living, there is
+nothing on earth I would not cheerfully do for him, if I thought it
+would contribute to his happiness or comfort. But he is now in a land
+where all the forms and ceremonies of this world are of no avail; and
+where everything that speaks to the senses only, must appear like the
+mimic trappings of a theatre. With him, all is now awful reality. To the
+decaying inhabitant of the narrow and gloomy grave, or to the
+disembodied spirit that has ascended to its Father in heaven, of what
+consequence is the colour that distinguishes the dress of those whose
+mourning is deep in the heart? What to him is the livery that fashion
+has assigned to grief, when he knows how intense is the feeling itself,
+in the sorrowing bosoms of the family that loved him so well?"
+
+"All this is very true," remarked Mrs. Bladen; "but still, custom is
+everything, or fashion, as you are pleased to call it. You know you are
+not a Quaker; and therefore I do not see how you can possibly venture to
+go without mourning on such an occasion as this. Surely, you would not
+set the usages of the world at defiance?"
+
+"I would not," replied Constance, "in things of minor importance; but on
+this subject I believe I can be firm."
+
+"Of course," said Mrs. Bladen, "you will not go to the funeral without
+mourning."
+
+"I cannot go to the funeral at all," answered Constance.
+
+"Not go to the funeral!" exclaimed Mrs. Allerton. "Dear Constance, you
+amaze me!"
+
+"I hope," observed Mrs. Bladen, looking very serious, "there can be no
+reason to doubt Miss Allerton's affection for her brother?"
+
+"Oh! no! no! no!" cried the two girls indignantly. "If you had only
+seen," said Isabella, "how she nursed my dear father in his illness--how
+she was with him day and night."
+
+"And how much she always loved him," said Helen.
+
+"My dear kind sister," said Mrs. Allerton, taking the hand of Constance,
+"I hope I shall never again see you distressed by such an intimation."
+
+Mrs. Bladen reddened, looked down, and attentively examined the
+embroidered corners of her pocket handkerchief. There was a silence of a
+few moments, till Constance, making an effort to speak with composure,
+proceeded to explain herself.
+
+"My brother," said she, "has finished his mortal existence. No human
+power, no human love, can aid him or soothe him now; and we will
+endeavour to submit with resignation to the will of Omnipotence. I
+hope--I trust we shall be able to do so; but the shock is yet too
+recent, and we cannot at once subdue the feelings of nature. It is
+dreadful to see the lifeless remains of one we have long and dearly
+loved, removed from our sight for ever, and consigned to the darkness
+and loneliness of the grave. For my part, on this sad occasion I feel an
+utter repugnance to the idea of becoming an object of curiosity to the
+spectators that gaze from the windows, and to the vulgar and noisy crowd
+that assembles about a burying-ground when an interment is to take
+place. I cannot expose my tears, my deep affliction, to the comments of
+the multitude; and I cannot have my feelings outraged by perhaps
+overhearing their coarse remarks. I may be too fastidious--I may be
+wrong; but to be present at the funeral of my brother is an effort I
+cannot resolve to make. And, moreover--"
+
+Here her voice for a few moments became inarticulate, and her sister and
+nieces sobbed audibly.
+
+"And then," she continued, "I cannot stand beside that open grave--I
+cannot see the coffin let down into it, and the earth thrown upon the
+lid till it is covered up for ever. I cannot--indeed I cannot. In the
+seclusion of my own apartment I shall, of course, know that all this is
+going on, and I shall suffer most acutely; but there will be no
+strangers to witness my sufferings. It is a dreadful custom, that of
+females attending the funerals of their nearest relatives. I wish it
+were abolished throughout our country, as it is in many parts of
+Europe."
+
+"But you know," said Mrs. Bladen, "that it is almost universal in
+Philadelphia; and, 'when we are in Rome we must do as Rome does.'
+Besides which, it is certainly our duty always to see our friends and
+relatives laid in the grave."
+
+"Not when we are assured," replied Constance, "that the melancholy
+office can be properly performed without our presence or assistance.
+Duty requires of us no sacrifice by which neither the living nor the
+dead can be benefited. But I have said enough; and I cannot be present
+at my brother's funeral."
+
+She then rose and left the room, unable any longer to sustain a
+conversation so painful to her.
+
+"Well, I am really astonished!" exclaimed Mrs. Bladen. "Not wear
+mourning for her brother! Not go to his funeral! However, I suppose she
+thinks she has a right to do as she pleases. But, she may depend on it,
+people will talk."
+
+Just then a servant came to inform Mrs. Bladen that her husband was
+waiting for her in the parlour.
+
+"Well, my dear Mrs. Allerton," said she, as she rose to depart, "we have
+not yet settled about the mourning. Of course, you are not going to
+adopt Miss Constance's strange whim of wearing none at all."
+
+"What she has said on the subject appears to me very just," replied Mrs.
+Allerton.
+
+"Aunt Constance is always right," remarked one of the girls.
+
+"As to Miss Allerton," resumed Mrs. Bladen, "she is well known to be
+independent in every sense of the word; and therefore she may do as she
+pleases--though she may rest assured that people will talk."
+
+"What people?" asked Mrs. Allerton.
+
+"Everybody--all the world."
+
+Mrs. Allerton thought how very circumscribed was the world in which she
+and her family had lived since the date of their fallen fortunes.
+
+"It is well known," pursued Mrs. Bladen, "that Miss Constance is able to
+wear mourning if she chooses it. But you may rely on it, Mrs. Allerton,
+that if you and your children do not appear in black, people will be
+ill-natured enough to say that it is because you cannot afford it.
+Excuse my plainness."
+
+"They will say rightly, then," replied Mrs. Allerton, with a sigh. "We
+certainly cannot afford it."
+
+"How you talk!" said Mrs. Bladen. "Afford it or not, everybody has to
+wear mourning, and everybody does, from the highest down to the lowest.
+Even my washerwoman put all her family (that is herself and her six
+children) into black when her husband died; notwithstanding that he was
+no great loss--for he was an idle, drunken Irishman, and beat them all
+round every day of his life. And my cook, a coloured woman, whose
+grandfather died in the almshouse a few weeks ago, has as handsome a
+suit of mourning as any lady need desire to wear."
+
+"May I request," said Mrs. Allerton, "that you will spare me on this
+subject to-night? Indeed I can neither think nor talk about it."
+
+"Well, then," replied Mrs. Bladen, kissing her, "I will hope to find you
+better in the morning. I shall be with you immediately after breakfast."
+
+She then took her leave; and Constance, who had been weeping over the
+corpse of Mr. Allerton, now returned to the apartment of her
+sister-in-law.
+
+Released from the importunities of Mrs. Bladen, our heroine now mildly
+and sensibly reasoned with the family on the great inconvenience, and,
+as she believed, the unnecessary expense of furnishing themselves with
+suits of mourning in their present circumstances. The season was late in
+the autumn, and they had recently supplied themselves with their winter
+outfit, all of which would now be rendered useless if black must be
+substituted. Her arguments had so much effect that Mrs. Allerton, with
+the concurrence of her daughters, very nearly promised to give up all
+intention of making a general change in their dress. But they found it
+harder than they had supposed, to free themselves from the trammels of
+custom.
+
+Mrs. Allerton and Constance passed a sleepless night, and the children
+"awoke to weep" at an early hour in the morning. They all met in tears
+at the breakfast table. Little was eaten, and the table was scarcely
+cleared, when Mrs. Bladen came in, followed by two shop boys, one
+carrying two rolls of bombazine, and the other two boxes of Italian
+crape. Constance had just left the room.
+
+After the first salutations were over, Mrs. Bladen informed Mrs.
+Allerton that she had breakfasted an hour earlier than usual, that she
+might allow herself more time to go out, and transact the business of
+the morning.
+
+"My dear friend," said she, "Mrs. Doubleprice has sent you, at my
+request, two pieces of bombazine, that you may choose for yourself.--One
+is more of a jet black than the other--but I think the blue black rather
+the finest. However, they are both of superb quality, and this season
+jet black is rather the most fashionable. I have been to Miss Facings,
+the mantua-maker, who is famous for mourning. Bombazines, when made up
+by her, have an air and a style about them, such as you will never see
+if done by any one else. There is nothing more difficult than to make up
+mourning as it ought to be.--I have appointed Miss Facings to meet me
+here--I wonder she has not arrived--she can tell you how much is
+necessary for the four dresses. If Miss Allerton finally concludes to be
+like other people and put on black, I suppose she will attend to it
+herself. These very sensible young ladies are beyond my comprehension."
+
+"I am sure," said Helen, "no one is more easy to understand, than my
+dear Aunt Constance."
+
+"And here," continued Mrs. Bladen, "is the double-width crape for the
+veils. As it is of very superior quality, you had best have it to trim
+the dresses, and for the neck handkerchiefs, and to border the black
+cloth shawls that you will have to get."
+
+We must remark to our readers, that at the period of our story, it was
+customary to trim mourning dresses with a very broad fold of crape,
+reaching nearly from the feet to the knees.
+
+Mrs. Allerton on hearing the prices of the crape and bombazine, declared
+them too expensive.
+
+"But only look at the quality," persisted Mrs. Bladen, "and you know the
+best things are always the cheapest in the end--and, as I told you,
+nobody now wears economical mourning."
+
+"We had best wear none of any description," said Mrs. Allerton.
+
+"Ah!" cried Mrs. Bladen, "I see that Miss Constance has been trying
+again to make a convert of you. Yet, as you are not Quakers, I know not
+how you will be able to show your faces in the world, if you do not put
+on black. Excuse me, but innovations on established customs ought only
+to be attempted by people of note--by persons so far up in society that
+they may feel at liberty to do any out-of-the-way thing with impunity."
+
+"I wish, indeed," said Mrs. Allerton, "that some of those influential
+persons would be so public-spirited as to set the example of dispensing
+with all customs that bear hard on people in narrow circumstances."
+
+The mantua-maker now made her appearance, and Mrs. Bladen exclaimed,
+"Oh! Miss Facings, we have been waiting for you to tell us exactly how
+much of everything we are to get."
+
+A long and earnest discussion now took place between Mrs. Bladen and the
+dressmaker, respecting the quality and quantity of the bombazine and
+crape.
+
+Miss Facings having calculated the number of yards, Mrs. Bladen inquired
+if there was no yard-measure in the house. One was produced, and the
+measuring commenced forthwith; Mrs. Allerton having no longer energy to
+offer any further opposition. She sat with her handkerchief to her face,
+and her daughters wept also. Sirs. Bladen stepped up to her, and
+whispered, "You are aware that it will not be necessary to pay the bills
+immediately."
+
+"Ah!" returned Mrs. Allerton, "I know not when they can be paid. But we
+will strain every nerve to do it as soon as possible. I cannot bear the
+idea of remaining in debt for this mourning."
+
+Their business being accomplished, the shop-boys departed, and Miss
+Facings made her preparations for cutting out the dresses, taking an
+opportunity of assuring the weeping girls that nothing was more becoming
+to the figure than black bombazine, and that everybody looked their best
+in a new suit of mourning.
+
+At this juncture, Constance returned to the room, and was extremely
+sorry to find that the fear of singularity, and the officious
+perseverance of Mrs. Bladen, had superseded the better sense of her
+sister-in-law. But as the evil was now past remedy, our heroine,
+according to her usual practice, refrained from any further
+animadversions on the subject.
+
+Little Louisa was now brought in to be fitted: and when her frock was
+cut out, Constance offered to make it herself, on hearing Miss Facings
+declare that she would be obliged to keep her girls up all night to
+complete the dresses by the appointed time, as they had already more
+work in the house than they could possibly accomplish.
+
+Mrs. Allerton expressed great unwillingness to allowing her
+sister-in-law to take the trouble of making Louisa's dress. But
+Constance whispered to her that she had always found occupation to be
+one of the best medicines for an afflicted mind, and that it would in
+some degree prevent her thoughts from dwelling incessantly on the same
+melancholy subject. Taking Louisa with her, she retired to her own
+apartment, and the frock was completed by next day: though the
+overflowing eyes of poor Constance frequently obliged her to lay down
+her sewing. In reality, her chief motive in proposing to make the dress,
+was to save the expense of having it done by the mantua-maker.
+
+Miss Facings took Mrs. Allerton's gown home with her, saying she would
+send one of her girls for the two others; and Mrs. Bladen then began to
+plan the bonnets and shawls. She went off to a fashionable milliner, and
+engaged a mourning bonnet and four mourning caps for Mrs. Allerton, and
+a bonnet for each of her daughters. And she was going back and forwards
+nearly all day with specimens of black cloth for the shawls, black
+stockings, black gloves, &c.
+
+The girls, at their aunt's suggestion, hemmed the crape veils, and on
+the following morning, she assisted them in making and trimming the
+shawls. Still, Constance was well convinced that the expense of the
+mourning (including the suit bespoken for Frederick) would be greater
+than they could possibly afford. The cost of the funeral she intended to
+defray from her own funds, and she took occasion to request Mr. Denman
+to have nothing about it that should be unnecessarily expensive.
+
+The hour arrived when the sorrowing family of Mr. Allerton were to be
+parted for ever from all that remained of the husband, the father, and
+the brother. They had taken the last look of his fixed and lifeless
+features, they had imprinted the last kiss on his cold and pallid lips;
+and from the chamber of death, they had to adjourn to the incongruous
+task of attiring themselves in their mourning habits to appear at his
+funeral. How bitterly they wept as their friends assisted them in
+putting on their new dresses; and when they tied on their bonnets and
+their long veils, to follow to his grave the object of their fondest
+affection!
+
+Constance, with an almost breaking heart, sat in her chamber, and little
+Louisa hung crying on her shoulder, declaring that she could not see her
+dear father buried. But Mrs. Bladen came in, protesting that all the
+children _must_ be present, and that people would _talk_ if even the
+youngest child was to stay away. Mrs. Bladen then put on Louisa's
+mourning dress almost by force. When this was done, the little girl
+threw her arms round the neck of her aunt and kissed her, saying with a
+burst of tears, "When I see you again, my dear dear father will be
+covered up in his grave." Mrs. Bladen then led, or rather dragged the
+child to the room in which the family were assembled.
+
+Constance threw herself on her bed in a paroxysm of grief. She heard the
+slow tread of the company as they came in, and she fancied that she
+could distinguish the sound of the lid as it was laid on the coffin, and
+the fastening of the screws that closed it for ever. She knew when it
+was carried down stairs, and she listened in sympathetic agony to the
+sobs of the family as they descended after it. She heard the shutting of
+the hearse-door, and the gloomy vehicle slowly rolling off to give
+place to the carriages of the mourners. She started up, and casting her
+eyes towards an opening in the window-curtain, she saw Mr. Denman
+supporting to the first coach the tottering steps of her half-fainting
+sister-in-law. She looked no longer, but sunk back on the bed and hid
+her face on the pillow. By all that she suffered when indulging her
+grief alone and in the retirement of her chamber, she felt how dreadful
+it would have been to her, had she accompanied the corpse of her brother
+to its final resting-place.
+
+In about an hour the family returned, pale, exhausted, and worn out with
+the intensity of their feelings at the grave. And they could well have
+dispensed with the company of Mrs. Bladen, who came home and passed the
+evening with them; as she foolishly said that people in affliction ought
+not to be left to themselves.
+
+After some days the violence of their grief settled into melancholy
+sadness: they ceased to speak of him whom they had loved and lost, and
+they felt as if they could never talk of him again.
+
+The unfortunate family of Mr. Allerton now began to consider what they
+should do for their support. Constance was willing to share with them
+her little income even to the last farthing, but it was too small to
+enable them all to live on it with comfort. Great indeed are the
+sufferings, the unacknowledged and unimagined sufferings of that class
+who "cannot dig, and to beg are ashamed"--whose children have been
+nursed in the lap of affluence, and who "every night have slept with
+soft content about their heads"--who still retain a vivid recollection
+of happier times, and who still feel that they themselves are the same,
+though all is changed around them.
+
+Such was the condition of the Allerton family. "The world was all before
+them where to choose," and so low were now their finances, that it was
+necessary they should think and act promptly, and decide at once upon
+some plan for their subsistence. Constance proposed a school, but the
+house they now occupied was in too remote a place to expect any success.
+A lady had already attempted establishing a seminary in the immediate
+neighbourhood, but it had proved an entire failure. Mrs. Allerton
+thought that in a better part of the town, and in a larger house, they
+might have a fair chance of encouragement. But they were now destitute
+of the means of defraying the expense of a removal, and of purchasing
+such articles of furniture as would be indispensably necessary in a more
+commodious dwelling; particularly if fitted up as a school.
+
+Frederick Allerton, who was twelve years old, had just completed his
+last quarter at the excellent academy in which he had been a pupil from
+early childhood, and it was now found necessary, after paying the bill,
+to take him away; as the present situation of the family did not seem to
+warrant them in continuing him there any longer. He was, however, very
+forward in all his acquirements, having an excellent capacity, and being
+extremely diligent. Still it was hard that so promising a boy should be
+obliged to stop short, when in a fair way of becoming an extraordinary
+proficient in the principal branches appertaining to what is considered
+an excellent education. Fortunately, however, a place was obtained for
+him in a highly respectable book-store.
+
+There was now a general retrenchment in the expenditures of the Allerton
+family. One of their servants was discharged, as they could no longer
+afford to keep two--and they were obliged to endure many privations
+which were but ill compensated by the idea that they were wearing very
+genteel mourning. Again, as they had begun with black, it was necessary
+to go through with it. They could not wear their bombazines continually,
+and as black ginghams and chintzes are always spoiled by washing, it was
+thought better that their common dresses should be of Canton crape, an
+article that, though very durable, is at first of no trifling cost.
+
+In the mean time, their only resource seemed to be that of literally
+supporting themselves by the work of their hands. Constance undertook
+the painful task of going round among their acquaintances, and
+announcing their readiness to undertake any sort of needle-work that was
+offered to them. Nobody had any work to put out just then. Some promised
+not to forget them when they had. Others said they were already suited
+with seamstresses. At this time the Ladies' Depository was not in
+existence; that excellent establishment, where the feelings of the
+industrious indigent who have seen better days are so delicately spared
+by the secrecy with which its operations are conducted.
+
+At length a piece of linen was sent to the Allerton family for the
+purpose of being made up by them into shirts. And so great was their joy
+at the prospect of getting a little money, that it almost absorbed the
+painful feelings with which for the first time they employed their
+needles in really working for their living.
+
+They all sewed assiduously, little Louisa doing the easiest parts. The
+linen was soon made up, and they then obtained another piece, and
+afterwards some muslin work. Constance, who was one of the most
+indefatigable of women, found time occasionally to copy music, and
+correct proof-sheets, and to do many other things by which she was able
+to add a little more to the general fund. For a short time, her not
+appearing in black excited much conversation among the acquaintances of
+the family: but these discussions soon subsided, and after a while
+nothing more was said or thought on the subject.
+
+But to pay for the mourning of Mrs. Allerton and her children was a
+necessity that pressed heavily on them all, and they dreaded the sound
+of the door-bell, lest it should be followed by the presentation of the
+bills. The bills came, and were found to be considerably larger than was
+anticipated. Yet they were paid in the course of the winter, though with
+much difficulty, and at the expense of much comfort. The unfortunate
+Allertons rose early and sat up late, kept scanty fires and a very
+humble table, and rarely went out of the house, except to church, or to
+take a little air and exercise at the close of the afternoon.
+
+Most of their friends dropped off, and the few that seemed disposed to
+continue their acquaintance with people whose extreme indigence was no
+secret, were so thoughtless as to make their visits in the morning, a
+time which is never convenient to families that cannot afford to be
+idle. Mrs. Bladen, who, though frivolous and inconsiderate, was really a
+good-natured woman, came frequently to see them; and another of their
+visiters was Mrs. Craycroft, whose chief incentive was curiosity to see
+how the Allertons were going on, and a love of dictation which induced
+her frequently to favour them with what she considered salutary counsel.
+Mrs. Craycroft was a hard, cold, heartless woman, who by dint of the
+closest economy had helped her husband to amass a large fortune, and
+they now had every sort of luxury at their command. The Craycrofts as
+well as the Bladens had formerly been neighbours of Mr. and Mrs.
+Allerton.
+
+Mrs. Bladen and Mrs. Craycroft happened to meet one morning in Mrs.
+Allerton's little sitting-room. Mrs. Craycroft came in last, and Mrs.
+Bladen, after stopping for a few minutes, pursued her discourse with her
+usual volubility. It was on the subject of Mrs. Allerton and her
+daughter getting new pelisses, or coats as they are more commonly called
+in Philadelphia.
+
+"I can assure you," said she, "now that the weather has become so cold,
+people talk about your going to church in those three-cornered
+cloth-shawls, which you know are only single, and were merely intended
+for autumn and spring. They did very well when you first got them (for
+the weather was then mild), but the season is now too far advanced to
+wear shawls of any sort. You know everybody gets their new coats by
+Christmas, and it is now after New-Year's."
+
+"We would be very glad to have coats," replied Mrs. Allerton, "but they
+are too expensive."
+
+"Not so very," answered Mrs. Bladen. "To be sure, fine black cloth or
+cassimere is the most fashionable for mourning coats. But many very
+genteel people wear black levantine or black mode trimmed with crape.
+Handsome silk coats would scarcely cost above twenty or twenty-five
+dollars apiece."
+
+"We cannot afford them," said Mrs. Allerton. "We must only refrain from
+going out when the weather is very cold. I acknowledge that our shawls
+are not sufficiently warm."
+
+"Did you not all get new olive-coloured silk coats, just before Mr.
+Allerton died?" inquired Mrs. Craycroft.
+
+The abrupt mention of a name which they had long since found it almost
+impossible to utter, brought tears into the eyes of the whole family.
+There was a general silence, and Mrs. Bladen rose to depart, saying, "I
+would recommend to you to get the coats as soon as possible, or the
+winter will be over without them. And I can assure you as a friend, that
+people do make their remarks. I am going into Second street; shall I
+look among the best stores for some black levantine? or would you rather
+have mode? But I had best bring you patterns of both: and shall I call
+on Miss Facings and bespeak her to make the coats for you?"
+
+"We thank you much," replied Mrs. Allerton, "but we will not give you
+the trouble either to look for the silk, or to engage the mantua-maker.
+We must for this winter dispense with new coats."
+
+Mrs. Bladen then took her leave, saying, "Well, do as you please, but
+people think it very strange that you should be still wearing your
+shawls, now that the cold weather has set in."
+
+Constance was glad that Mrs. Bladen had not in this instance carried
+her point. But she grieved to think that her sister and nieces could not
+have the comfort of wearing their coats because the olive-colour did not
+comport with their mourning bonnets. For herself, having made no attempt
+at mourning, Constance had no scruple as to appearing in hers.
+
+When Mrs. Bladen was gone, Mrs. Craycroft spoke again, and said, "I
+wonder how people can be so inconsiderate! But Mrs. Bladen never could
+see things in their proper light. She ought to be ashamed of giving you
+such advice. Now, I would recommend to you to have your olive silk coats
+ripped apart, and dyed black, and then you can make them up again
+yourselves. You know that if you were not in mourning, you might wear
+them as they are; but as you have begun with black, I suppose it would
+never do to be seen in coloured things also."
+
+"I believe," replied Mrs. Allerton, "there is generally much trouble in
+getting articles dyed--at least in this city, and that they are
+frequently spoiled in the process."
+
+"Your informants," said Mrs. Craycroft, "must have been peculiarly
+unlucky in their dyers. I can recommend you to Mr. Copperas, who does
+things beautifully, so that they look quite as good as new. He dyes for
+Mrs. Narrowskirt and for Mrs. Dingy. I advise you by all means to send
+your coats to him. And no doubt you have many other things, now lying by
+as useless, that would be serviceable if dyed black."
+
+"I believe I will take your advice," answered Mrs. Allerton.
+
+Mrs. Craycroft then proceeded: "Situated as you are, Mrs. Allerton, I
+need not say how much it behooves you to economize in everything you
+possibly can; now for instance, I would suggest to you all to drink rye
+coffee. And then as to tea, if you _must_ have tea of an evening, I know
+a place where you can get it as low as half a dollar a pound--to be sure
+it is only Hyson Skin. In _your_ family a pound of tea ought to go a
+great way, for now, of course, you do not make it strong. And then, I
+would advise you all to accustom yourselves to brown sugar in your tea;
+it is nothing when you are used to it. Of course you always take it in
+your coffee. And there is a baker not far off, that makes large loaves
+of rye and Indian mixed. You will find it much cheaper than wheat. Of
+course you are not so extravagant as to eat fresh bread. And as to
+butter, if you cannot dispense with it altogether, I would suggest that
+you should use the potted butter from the grocery stores. Some of it is
+excellent. I suppose that of course you have entirely given up all
+kinds of desserts, but if you should wish for anything of the kind on
+Sundays, or after a cold dinner, you will find plain boiled rice
+sweetened with a very little molasses, almost as good as a pudding. No
+doubt the children will like it quite as well. You know, I suppose, that
+if you defer going to market till near twelve o'clock you will always
+get things much cheaper than if you go in the early part of the day; as
+towards noon the market people are impatient to get home, and in their
+hurry to be off, will sell for almost nothing whatever they may chance
+to have left. In buying wood, let me recommend to you always to get it
+as green as possible. To be sure green wood does not always make so good
+a fire as that which is dry, neither does it kindle so well; but then
+the slower it burns the longer it lasts, and it is therefore the
+cheapest. And always get gum back-logs, for they scarcely burn at all. I
+see you still keep your black woman Lucy. Now you will find it much
+better to dismiss her, and take a bound girl about twelve or thirteen.
+Then you know you would have no wages to pay, and your daughters, of
+course, would not mind helping her with the work."
+
+During this harangue, the colour came into Mrs. Allerton's face, and she
+was about to answer in a manner that showed how acutely she was wounded
+by the unfeeling impertinence of the speaker: but glancing at Constance
+she saw something in her countenance that resembled a smile, and
+perceived that she seemed rather amused than angry. Therefore Mrs.
+Allerton suppressed her resentment, and made no reply.
+
+When Mrs. Craycroft had departed, the mother and daughters warmly
+deprecated her rudeness and insolence; but Constance, being by nature
+very susceptible of the ridiculous, was much more inclined to laugh, and
+succeeded in inducing her sister and the girls to regard it in the same
+light that she did.
+
+"After all," said Mrs. Allerton, "I think we will take Mrs. Craycroft's
+advice about the dyeing. The olive coats may thus be turned to very good
+account, and so may several other things of which we cannot now make use
+because of their colour. It is true, that we can ill afford even the
+expense of dyeing them; but still we are really very much in want of
+such coats as we may wear in mourning."
+
+Next day, the olive pelisses, which were very pretty and extremely well
+made, were carefully ripped apart, and the silk was conveyed to the
+dyer's, together with a small scarlet Canton crape shawl of Mrs.
+Allerton's, which she thought would be convenient in cold weather to
+wear over her shoulders when at home. The _materiel_ of the dismembered
+coats was rolled up in as small a compass as possible, wrapped in
+papers, and carried one afternoon by Isabella and Helen. Mr. Copperas
+informed them that he only dyed on Thursdays, and as this was Friday
+afternoon, they had come a day too late to have the things done that
+week. Therefore the articles could not be put into the dye before next
+Thursday, and then it would be another week before they could be
+dressed. Dressing, in the dyer's phraseology, means stiffening and
+ironing; and very frequently ironing only.
+
+This delay was extremely inconvenient, as Mrs. Allerton and her
+daughters were absolutely very much in need of the coats; yet there was
+no remedy but patience. At the appointed time, two of the girls went to
+bring home the silk, but were told by a small-featured, mild-spoken
+Quaker woman, employed to attend the customers, that "the things were
+dyed but not yet dressed."
+
+"Will they be finished by to-morrow afternoon?" asked Isabella.
+
+"I rather think they will not."
+
+"By Saturday, then?"
+
+"It's likely they will."
+
+On Saturday, the girls went again. Still the articles, though dyed, were
+not yet dressed: but they were promised for Tuesday--if nothing happened
+to prevent.
+
+Every few days, for near a fortnight, some of the Allerton family
+repaired to the dyer's (and it was a very long walk) but without any
+success--the things, though always dyed, were never dressed. And when
+they expressed their disappointment, the Quaker woman regularly told
+them: "Thee knows I did not say positive--we should never be too certain
+of anything."
+
+Finally, the silk was acknowledged to be dressed, and it was produced
+and paid for; but the crape shawl was missing. A search was made for it,
+but in vain; still the woman assured them that it could not be lost, as
+nothing ever _was_ lost in James Copperas's house, adding: "I partly
+promise thee, that if I live, I will find it for thee by to-morrow."
+
+Next day, when she had done sewing, little Louisa went again for the
+shawl. The woman now confessed that she had not been able to find it,
+and said to Louisa: "I think, child, I would not advise thee to trouble
+thyself to come after it again. It seems a pity to wear out thy shoes
+too much. One should not be too certain of anything in this life, and
+therefore I am not free to say that thy shawl is lost; but it seems to
+me likely that it will never be found."
+
+"My mother will be sorry," said Louisa, "for she really wants the shawl,
+and will regret to lose it."
+
+The little girl then turned to depart, and had reached the front door
+when the woman called her back, saying: "But thee'll pay for the
+dyeing?"[86]
+
+[Footnote 86: Fact.]
+
+"What!" exclaimed Louisa, "after you have lost the shawl?"
+
+"But I can assure thee it _was_ dyed," replied the woman. "It actually
+_was_ dyed, I can speak positive to that, and we cannot afford to lose
+the dyeing."
+
+Louisa, child as she was, had acuteness enough to perceive the intended
+imposition, and, without making an answer, she slipped out of the door:
+though the woman caught her by the skirt, and attempted to stop her,
+repeating: "But we can't afford to lose the dyeing."
+
+Louisa, however, disengaged herself from her grasp, and ran down the
+street, for some distance, as fast as possible--afraid to look back lest
+the Quaker woman should be coming after her for the money she had
+brought to pay for the shawl, and which she took care to hold tightly in
+her hand.
+
+In attempting to make up the coats, it was found impossible to put the
+different pieces together to the same advantage as before. Also, the
+silk did not look well, being dyed of a dull brownish black, and
+stiffened to the consistence of paper. The skirts and sleeves had shrunk
+much in dyeing, and the pieces that composed the bodies had been
+ravelled, frayed, and pulled so crooked in dressing, that they had lost
+nearly all shape. It was impossible to make up the deficiencies by
+matching the silk with new, as none was to be found that bore sufficient
+resemblance to it. "Ah!" thought Constance, "how well these coats looked
+when in their original state! The shade of olive was so beautiful, the
+silk so soft and glossy, and they fitted so perfectly well."
+
+When put together under all these disadvantages, the coats looked so
+badly that the girls were at first unwilling to wear them, except in
+extreme cold weather--particularly as in coming out of church they
+overheard whispers among the ladies in the crowd, of "That's a dyed
+silk"--"Any one may see that those coats have been dyed."
+
+They trimmed them with crape, in hopes of making them look better; but
+the crape wore out almost immediately, and in fact it had to be taken
+off before the final close of the cold weather.
+
+Spring came at last, and the Allerton family, having struggled through a
+melancholy and comfortless winter, had taken a larger house in a better
+part of the town, and made arrangements for commencing their school, in
+which Constance was to be chief instructress. Isabella and Helen, whose
+ages were sixteen and fourteen, were to assist in teaching some
+branches, but to continue receiving lessons in others. Louisa was to be
+one of the pupils.
+
+About a fortnight before their intended removal to their new residence,
+one afternoon when none of the family were at home, except Constance,
+she was surprised by the visit of a friend from New Bedford, a young
+gentleman who had been absent three years on a whaling voyage, in a ship
+in which he had the chief interest, his father being owner of several
+vessels in that line.
+
+Edmund Lessingham was an admirer of ladies generally: but during his
+long voyage he found by his thinking incessantly of Constance, and not
+at all of any other female, that he was undoubtedly in love with her; a
+fact which he had not suspected till the last point of Massachusetts
+faded from his view. He resolved to improve his intimacy with our
+heroine, should he find her still at liberty, on his return to New
+Bedford; and if he perceived a probability of success, to make her at
+once an offer of his hand. When Lessingham came home, he was much
+disappointed to hear that Constance Allerton had been living for more
+than a twelvemonth in Philadelphia. However, he lost no time in coming
+on to see her.
+
+When he was shown into the parlour, she was sitting with her head bent
+over her work. She started up on being accosted by his well-remembered
+voice. Not having heard of the death of her brother, and not seeing her
+in mourning, Edmund Lessingham was at a loss to account for the tears
+that filled her eyes, and for the emotion that suffocated her voice when
+she attempted to reply to his warm expressions of delight at seeing her
+again. He perceived that she was thinner and paler than when he had last
+seen her, and he feared that all was not right. She signed to him to sit
+down, and was endeavouring to compose herself, when Mrs. Craycroft was
+shown into the room. That lady stared with surprise at seeing a very
+handsome young gentleman with Constance, who hastily wiped her eyes and
+introduced Mr. Lessingham.
+
+Mrs. Craycroft took a seat, and producing two or three morning caps from
+her reticule, she said in her usual loud voice, "Miss Allerton, I have
+brought these caps for you to alter--I wish you to do them immediately,
+that they may be washed next week. I find the borders rather too broad,
+and the headpieces too large (though to be sure I did cut them out
+myself), so I want you to rip them apart, and make the headpieces
+smaller, and the borders narrower, and then whip them and sew them on
+again. I was out the other day when you sent home my husband's shirts
+with the bill, but when you have done the caps I will pay you for all
+together. What will you charge for making a dozen aprons of bird's eye
+diaper for my little Anna? You must not ask much, for I want them quite
+plain--mere bibs--they are always the best for babies. Unless you will
+do them very cheap, I may as well make them myself."
+
+The face of Lessingham became scarlet, and, starting from his chair, he
+traversed the room in manifest perturbation; sympathizing with what he
+supposed to be the confusion and mortification of Constance, and
+regretting that the sex of Mrs. Craycroft prevented him from knocking
+her down.
+
+Constance, however, rallied, replying with apparent composure to Mrs.
+Craycroft on the points in question, and calmly settling the bargain for
+the bird's-eye aprons--she knew that it is only in the eyes of the
+vulgar-minded and the foolish that a woman is degraded by exerting her
+ingenuity or her talents as a means of support.
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Craycroft, "you may send for the aprons to-morrow, and
+I wish you to hurry with them as fast as you can--when I give out work,
+I never like it to be kept long on hand. I will pay you for the other
+things when the aprons are done."
+
+Mrs. Craycroft then took her leave, and Constance turned to the window
+to conceal from Lessingham the tears that in spite of her self-command
+were now stealing down her cheeks.
+
+Lessingham hastily went up to her, and taking her hand, he said, with
+much feeling: "Dear Constance--Miss Allerton I mean--what has happened
+during my absence? Why do I see you thus? But I fear that I distress you
+by inquiring. I perceive that you are not happy--that you have suffered
+much, and that your circumstances are changed. Can I do nothing to
+console you or to improve your situation? Let me at once have a right to
+do so--let me persuade you to unite your fate with mine, and put an end,
+I hope for ever, to these unmerited, these intolerable humiliations."
+
+"No, Mr. Lessingham," said Constance, deeply affected, "I will not take
+advantage of the generous impulse that has led you thus suddenly to make
+an offer, which, perhaps, in a calmer moment, and on cooler
+consideration, you may think of with regret."
+
+"Regret!" exclaimed Lessingham, pressing her hand between both of his,
+and surveying her with a look of the fondest admiration, "dearest
+Constance, how little you know your own value--how little you suppose
+that during our long separation--"
+
+Here he was interrupted in his impassioned address by the entrance of
+Mrs. Allerton and her daughters. Constance hastily withdrew her hand and
+presented him as Mr. Lessingham, a friend of hers from New Bedford.
+
+Being much agitated, she in a few minutes retired to compose herself in
+her own apartment. The girls soon after withdrew, and Lessingham,
+frankly informing Mrs. Allerton that he was much and seriously
+interested in her sister-in-law, begged to know some particulars of her
+present condition.
+
+Mrs. Allerton, who felt it impossible to regard Mr. Lessingham as a
+stranger, gave him a brief outline of the circumstances of Constance's
+residence with them, and spoke of her as the guardian-angel of the
+family. "She is not only," said her sister-in-law, "one of the most
+amiable and affectionate, but also one of the most sensible and
+judicious of women. Never, never have we in any instance acted contrary
+to her advice, without eventually finding cause to regret that we did
+so." And Mrs. Allerton could not forbear casting her eyes over her
+mourning dress.
+
+Lessingham, though the praises of Constance were music in his ears, had
+tact enough to take his leave, fearing that his visit was interfering
+with the tea-hour of the family.
+
+Next morning, the weather was so mild as to enable them to sit up stairs
+with their sewing; for latterly, the state of their fuel had not allowed
+them to keep fire except in the parlour and kitchen. Lessingham called
+and inquired for Constance. She came down, and saw him alone. He
+renewed, in explicit terms, the offer he had so abruptly made her on
+the preceding afternoon. Constance, whose heart had been with Lessingham
+during the whole of his long absence, had a severe struggle before she
+could bring herself to insist on their union being postponed for at
+least two years: during which time she wished, for the sake of the
+family, to remain with them, and get the school firmly established; her
+nieces, meanwhile, completing their education, and acquiring, under her
+guidance, a proficiency in the routine of teaching.
+
+"But surely," said Lessingham, "you understand that I wish you to make
+over to your sister-in-law the whole of your aunt Ilford's legacy? You
+shall bring me nothing but your invaluable self."
+
+Though grateful for the generosity and disinterestedness of her lover,
+Constance knew that the interest of her ten thousand dollars was, of
+course, not sufficient to support Mrs. Allerton and her children without
+some other source of income; and she was convinced that they would never
+consent to become pensioners on Lessingham's bounty, kind and liberal as
+he was. She therefore adhered to her determination of remaining with her
+sister and nieces till she had seen them fairly afloat, and till she
+could leave them in a prosperous condition. And Lessingham was obliged
+to yield to her conviction that she was acting rightly, and to consent
+that the completion of his happiness should accordingly be deferred for
+two years.
+
+He remained in Philadelphia till he had seen the Allerton family
+established in their new habitation, and he managed with much delicacy
+to aid them in the expenses of fitting it up.
+
+The school was commenced with a much larger number of pupils than had
+been anticipated. It increased rapidly under the judicious
+superintendence of Constance: and in the course of two years she had
+rendered Isabella and Helen so capable of filling her place, that all
+the parents were perfectly satisfied to continue their children with
+them. At the end of that time, Lessingham (who, in the interval, had
+made frequent visits to Philadelphia) came to claim the promised hand of
+his Constance. They were married--she having first transferred the whole
+of her little property to her brother's widow.
+
+At the earnest desire of Lessingham, Mrs. Allerton consented that Louisa
+should live in future with her beloved aunt Constance; and consequently
+the little girl accompanied them to New Bedford.
+
+Mrs. Allerton and her family went on and prospered--her son was
+everything that a parent could wish--her children all married
+advantageously--and happily she has not yet had occasion to put in
+practice her resolution of never again wearing mourning: though
+principle, and not necessity, is the motive which will henceforward
+deter her from complying with that custom.
+
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Pencil Sketches, by Eliza Leslie
+
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+<body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Pencil Sketches, by Eliza Leslie
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Pencil Sketches
+       or, Outlines of Character and Manners
+
+Author: Eliza Leslie
+
+Release Date: September 30, 2011 [EBook #37573]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PENCIL SKETCHES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Julia Miller, Mary Meehan and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<h1>PENCIL SKETCHES:</h1>
+
+<h3>OR,</h3>
+
+<h2>OUTLINES OF CHARACTER AND MANNERS.</h2>
+
+<h2>BY MISS LESLIE.</h2>
+
+<h3>INCLUDING "MRS. WASHINGTON POTTS," AND "MR. SMITH,"<br /> WITH OTHER STORIES.</h3>
+
+
+
+<p class="center">"So runs the world away."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span></p>
+
+
+
+<p class="center">PHILADELPHIA:<br />
+A. HART, LATE CAREY &amp; HART,<br />
+126 CHESTNUT STREET.<br />
+1852.</p>
+
+<p class="center">Entered, according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1852, by<br />
+A. HART,<br />
+in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States,<br />
+in and for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.</p>
+
+<p class="center">E. B. M<br />
+EARS, STEREOTYPER. T. K. &amp; P. G. COLLINS, PRINTERS.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2>ADVERTISEMENT.</h2>
+
+
+<p>The work from which the following is a selection, has been long out of
+print; and many inquiries have been made concerning it. Since its first
+appearance, a new generation of young people has grown up; and they may,
+perhaps, find amusement and improvement in pictures of domestic life,
+that were recognised as such by their mothers.</p>
+
+<p>The present volume will probably be succeeded by another, containing the
+remainder of the original Pencil Sketches, with additional stories.</p>
+
+
+<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Eliza Leslie.</span></p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0"><span class="smcap">United States Hotel</span>,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Philadelphia, March 25th, 1852.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2>CONTENTS.</h2>
+
+<!-- Autogenerated TOC. Modify or delete as required. -->
+<table width="50%">
+<tr><td><a href="#MRS_WASHINGTON_POTTS">MRS. WASHINGTON POTTS.</a></td><td align="right">13</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#MR_SMITH">MR. SMITH.</a></td><td align="right">50</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#UNCLE_PHILIP">UNCLE PHILIP.</a></td><td align="right">82</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#THE_ALBUM">THE ALBUM.</a></td><td align="right">131</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#THE_SET_OF_CHINA">THE SET OF CHINA.</a></td><td align="right">147</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#LAURA_LOVEL">LAURA LOVEL.</a></td><td align="right">157</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#JOHN_W_ROBERTSON">JOHN W. ROBERTSON.</a></td><td align="right">197</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#THE_LADIES_BALL">THE LADIES' BALL.</a></td><td align="right">217</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#THE_RED_BOX">THE RED BOX,</a></td><td align="right">240</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#THE_OFFICERS">THE OFFICERS:</a></td><td align="right">266</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#PETER_JONES">PETER JONES.</a></td><td align="right">297</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#THE_OLD_FARM-HOUSE">THE OLD FARM-HOUSE.</a></td><td align="right">314</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#THAT_GENTLEMAN">THAT GENTLEMAN:</a></td><td align="right">333</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#THE_SERENADES">THE SERENADES.</a></td><td align="right">358</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#SOCIABLE_VISITING">SOCIABLE VISITING.</a></td><td align="right">376</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#COUNTRY_LODGINGS">COUNTRY LODGINGS.</a></td><td align="right">402</td></tr>
+<tr><td><a href="#CONSTANCE_ALLERTON">CONSTANCE ALLERTON;</a></td><td align="right">415</td></tr>
+</table>
+<!-- End Autogenerated TOC. -->
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="MRS_WASHINGTON_POTTS" id="MRS_WASHINGTON_POTTS"></a>MRS. WASHINGTON POTTS.</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"The course of <i>parties</i> never does run smooth."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>Bromley Cheston, an officer in the United States navy, had just returned
+from a three years' cruise in the Mediterranean. His ship came into New
+York; and after he had spent a week with a sister that was married in
+Boston, he could not resist his inclination to pay a visit to his
+maternal aunt, who had resided since her widowhood at one of the small
+towns on the banks of the Delaware.</p>
+
+<p>The husband of Mrs. Marsden had not lived long enough to make his
+fortune, and it was his last injunction that she should retire with her
+daughter to the country, or at least to a country town. He feared that
+if she remained in Philadelphia she would have too many temptations to
+exercise her taste for unnecessary expense: and that, in consequence,
+the very moderate income, which was all he was able to leave her, would
+soon be found insufficient to supply her with comforts.</p>
+
+<p>We will not venture to say that duty to his aunt Marsden was the young
+lieutenant's only incentive to this visit: as she had a beautiful
+daughter about eighteen, for whom, since her earliest childhood, Bromley
+Cheston had felt something a little more vivid than the usual degree of
+regard that boys think sufficient for their cousins. His family had
+formerly lived in Philadelphia, and till he went into the navy Bromley
+and Albina were in habits of daily intercourse. Afterwards, on returning
+from sea, he always, as soon as he set his foot on American ground,
+began to devise means of seeing his pretty cousin, however short the
+time and however great the distance. And it was in meditation on
+Albina's beauty and sprightliness that he had often "while sailing on
+the midnight deep," beguiled the long hours of the watch, and thus
+rendered more tolerable that dreariest part of a seaman's duty.</p>
+
+<p>On arriving at the village, Lieutenant Cheston immediately established
+his quarters at the hotel, fearing that to become an inmate of his
+aunt's house might cause her some inconvenience. Though he had performed
+the whole journey in a steamboat, he could not refrain from changing his
+waistcoat, brushing his coat sleeves, brushing his hat, brushing his
+hair, and altering the tie of his cravat. Though he had "never told his
+love," it cannot be said that concealment had "preyed on his damask
+cheek;" the only change in that damask having been effected by the sun
+and wind of the ocean.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Marsden lived in a small modest-looking white house, with a green
+door and green venetian shutters. In early summer the porch was canopied
+and perfumed with honeysuckle, and the windows with roses. In front was
+a flower-garden, redolent of sweetness and beauty; behind was a
+well-stored <i>potager</i>, and a flourishing little orchard. The windows
+were amply shaded by the light and graceful foliage of some beautiful
+locust trees.</p>
+
+<p>"What a lovely spot!" exclaimed Cheston&mdash;and
+innocence&mdash;modesty&mdash;candour&mdash;contentment&mdash;peace&mdash;simple
+pleasures&mdash;intellectual enjoyments&mdash;and various other delightful ideas
+chased each other rapidly through his mind.</p>
+
+<p>When he knocked at the door, it was opened by a black girl named Drusa,
+who had been brought up in the family, and whose delight on seeing him
+was so great that she could scarcely find it in her heart to tell him
+that "the ladies were both out, or at least partly out." Cheston,
+however, more than suspected that they were wholly at home, for he saw
+his aunt peeping over the bannisters, and had a glimpse of his cousin
+flitting into the back parlour; and besides, the whole domicile was
+evidently in some great commotion, strongly resembling that horror of
+all men, a house-cleaning. The carpets had been removed, and the hall
+was filled with the parlour-chairs: half of them being turned bottom
+upwards on the others, with looking-glasses and pictures leaning against
+them; and he knew that, on such occasions, the ladies of a family in
+middle life are never among the missing.</p>
+
+<p>"Go and give Lieutenant Cheston's compliments to your ladies," said he,
+"and let them know that he is waiting to see them."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Marsden now ran down stairs in a wrapper and morning cap, and gave
+her nephew a very cordial reception. "Our house is just now in such
+confusion," said she, "that I have no place to invite you to sit down
+in, except the back porch."&mdash;And there they accordingly took their
+seats.</p>
+
+<p>"Do not suppose," continued Mrs. Marsden, "that we are cleaning house:
+but we are going to have a party to-night, and therefore you are most
+fortunate in your arrival, for I think I can promise you a very pleasant
+evening. We have sent invitations to all the most genteel families
+within seven miles, and I can assure you there was a great deal of
+trouble in getting the notes conveyed. We have also asked a number of
+strangers from the city, who happen to be boarding in the village; we
+called on them for that purpose. If all that are invited were to come,
+we should have a complete squeeze; but unluckily we have received an
+unusual number of regrets, and some have as yet returned no answers at
+all. However, we are sure of Mrs. Washington Potts."</p>
+
+<p>"I see," said Cheston, "you are having your parlours papered."&mdash;"Yes,"
+replied Mrs. Marsden, "we could not possibly have a party with that
+old-fashioned paper on the walls, and we sent to the city a week ago for
+a man to come and bring with him some of the newest patterns, but he
+never made his appearance till last night after we had entirely given
+him up, and after we had had the rooms put in complete order in other
+respects. But he says, as the parlours are very small, he can easily put
+on the new paper before evening, so we thought it better to take up the
+carpets, and take down the curtains, and undo all that we did yesterday,
+rather than the walls should look old-fashioned. I <i>did</i> intend having
+them painted, which would of course be much better, only that there was
+no time to get <i>that</i> done before the party; so we must defer the
+painting now for three or four years, till this new paper has grown
+old."</p>
+
+<p>"But where is Albina?" asked Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"The truth is," answered Mrs. Marsden, "she is very busy making cakes;
+as in this place we can buy none that are fit for a party. Luckily
+Albina is very clever at all such things, having been a pupil of Mrs.
+Goodfellow. But there is certainly a great deal of trouble in getting up
+a party in the country."</p>
+
+<p>Just then the black girl, Drusa, made her appearance, and said to Mrs.
+Marsden, "I've been for that there bean you call wanilla, and Mr. Brown
+says he never heard of such a thing."</p>
+
+<p>"A man that keeps so large a store has no right to be so ignorant,"
+remarked Mrs. Marsden. "Then, Drusa, we must flavour the ice-cream with
+lemon."</p>
+
+<p>"There a'n't no more lemons to be had," said the girl, "and we've just
+barely enough for the lemonade."</p>
+
+<p>"Then some of the lemons must be taken for the ice-cream," replied Mrs.
+Marsden, "and we must make out the lemonade with cream of tartar."</p>
+
+<p>"I forgot to tell you," said Drusa, "that Mrs. Jones says she can't
+spare no more cream, upon no account."</p>
+
+<p>"How vexatious!" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden. "I wish we had two cows of our
+own&mdash;one is not sufficient when we are about giving a party. Drusa, we
+must make out the ice-cream by thickening some milk with eggs."</p>
+
+<p>"Eggs are scace," replied the girl, "Miss Albinar uses up so many for
+the cakes."</p>
+
+<p>"She must spare some eggs from the cakes," said Mrs. Marsden, "and make
+out the cakes by adding a little pearl-ash. Go directly and tell her
+so."</p>
+
+<p>Cheston, though by no means <i>au fait</i> to the mysteries of confectionary,
+could not help smiling at all this making out&mdash;"Really," said his aunt,
+"these things are very annoying. And as this party is given to Mrs.
+Washington Potts, it is extremely desirable that nothing should fail.
+There is no such thing now as having company, unless we can receive and
+entertain them in a certain style."</p>
+
+<p>"I perfectly remember," said Cheston, "the last party at which I was
+present in your house. I was then a midshipman, and it was just before I
+sailed on my first cruise in the Pacific. I spent a delightful evening."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, I recollect that night," replied Mrs. Marsden. "In those days it
+was not necessary for us to support a certain style, and parties were
+then very simple things, except among people of the first rank. It was
+thought sufficient to have two or three baskets of substantial cakes at
+tea, some almonds, raisins, apples, and oranges, handed round
+afterwards, with wine and cordial, and then a large-sized pound-cake at
+the last. The company assembled at seven o'clock, and generally walked;
+for the ladies' dresses were only plain white muslin. We invited but as
+many as could be accommodated with seats. The young people played at
+forfeits, and sung English and Scotch songs, and at the close of the
+evening danced to the piano. How Mrs. Washington Potts would be shocked
+if she was to find herself at one of those obsolete parties!"</p>
+
+<p>"The calf-jelly won't be clear," said the black girl, again making her
+appearance. "Aunt Katy has strained it five times over through the
+flannen-bag."</p>
+
+<p>"Go then and tell her to strain it five-and-twenty times," said Mrs.
+Marsden angrily&mdash;"It must and shall be clear. Nothing is more vulgar
+than clouded jelly; Mrs. Washington Potts will not touch it unless it is
+transparent as amber."</p>
+
+<p>"What, Nong tong paw again!" said Cheston. "Now do tell me who is Mrs.
+Washington Potts?"</p>
+
+<p>"Is it possible you have not heard of her?" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden.</p>
+
+<p>"Indeed I have not," replied Cheston. "You forget that for several years
+I have been cruising on classic ground, and I can assure you that the
+name of Mrs. Washington Potts has not yet reached the shores of the
+Mediterranean."</p>
+
+<p>"She is wife to a gentleman that has made a fortune in New Orleans,"
+pursued Mrs. Marsden. "They came last winter to live in Philadelphia,
+having first visited London and Paris. During the warm weather they took
+lodgings in this village, and we have become quite intimate. So we have
+concluded to give them a party, previous to their return to
+Philadelphia, which is to take place immediately. She is a charming
+woman, though she certainly makes strange mistakes in talking. You have
+no idea how sociable she is, at least since she returned our call;
+which, to be sure, was not till the end of a week; and Albina and I had
+sat up in full dress to receive her for no less than five days: that is,
+from twelve o'clock till three. At last she came, and it would have
+surprised you to see how affably she behaved to us."</p>
+
+<p>"Not at all," said Cheston, "I should not have expected that she would
+have treated you rudely."</p>
+
+<p>"She really," continued Mrs. Marsden, "grew quite intimate before her
+visit was over, and took our hands at parting. And as she went out
+through the garden, she stopped to admire Albina's moss-roses: so we
+could do no less than give her all that were blown. From that day she
+has always sent to us when she wants flowers."</p>
+
+<p>"No doubt of it," said Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"You cannot imagine," pursued Mrs. Marsden, "on what a familiar footing
+we are. She has a high opinion of Albina's taste, and often gets her to
+make up caps and do other little things for her. When any of her
+children are sick, she never sends anywhere else for currant jelly or
+preserves. Albina makes gingerbread for them every Saturday. During the
+holidays she frequently sent her three boys to spend the day with us.
+There is the very place in the railing where Randolph broke out a stick
+to whip Jefferson with, because Jefferson had thrown in his face a hot
+baked apple which the mischievous little rogue had stolen out of Katy's
+oven."</p>
+
+<p>In the mean time Albina had taken off the brown holland bib apron which
+she had worn all day in the kitchen, and telling the cook to watch
+carefully the plum-cake that was baking, she hastened to her room by a
+back staircase, and proceeded to take the pins out of her hair; for
+where is the young lady that on any emergency whatever, would appear
+before a young gentleman with her hair pinned up? Though, just now, the
+opening out of her curls was a considerable inconvenience to Albina, as
+she had bestowed much time and pains on putting them up for the evening.</p>
+
+<p>Finally she came down in "prime array;" and Cheston, who had left her a
+school-girl, found her now grown to womanhood, and more beautiful than
+ever. Still he could not forbear reproving her for treating him so much
+as a stranger, and not coming to him at once in her morning-dress.</p>
+
+<p>"Mrs. Washington Potts," said Albina, "is of opinion that a young lady
+should never be seen in dishabille by a gentleman."</p>
+
+<p>Cheston now found it very difficult to hear the name of Mrs. Potts with
+patience.&mdash;"Albina," thought he, "is bewitched as well as her mother."</p>
+
+<p>He spoke of his cruise in the Mediterranean; and Albina told him that
+she had seen a beautiful view of the bay of Naples in a souvenir
+belonging to Mrs. Washington Potts.</p>
+
+<p>"I have brought with me some sketches of Mediterranean scenery," pursued
+Cheston. "You know I draw a little. I promise myself great pleasure in
+showing and explaining them to you."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! do send them this afternoon," exclaimed Albina. "They will be the
+very things for the centre-table. I dare say the Montagues will
+recognise some of the places they have seen in Italy, for they have
+travelled all over the south of Europe."</p>
+
+<p>"And who are the Montagues?" inquired Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"They are a very elegant English family," answered Mrs. Marsden,
+"cousins in some way to several noblemen."</p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps so," said Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"Albina met with them at the lodgings of Mrs. Washington Potts," pursued
+Mrs. Marsden, "where they have been staying a week for the benefit of
+country air; and so she enclosed her card, and sent them invitations to
+her party. They have as yet returned no answer; but that is no proof
+they will not come, for perhaps it may be the newest fashion in England
+not to answer notes."</p>
+
+<p>"You know the English are a very peculiar people," remarked Albina.</p>
+
+<p>"And what other lions have you provided?" said Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! no others except a poet," replied Albina. "Have you never heard of
+Bewley Garvin Gandy?"</p>
+
+<p>"Never!" answered Cheston. "Is that all one man?"</p>
+
+<p>"Nonsense," replied Albina; "you know that poets generally have three
+names. B. G, G. was formerly Mr. Gandy's signature when he wrote only
+for the newspapers, but now since he has come out in the magazines, and
+annuals, and published his great poem of the World of Sorrow, he gives
+his name at full length. He has tried law, physic, and divinity, and has
+resigned all for the Muses. He is a great favourite of Mrs. Washington
+Potts."</p>
+
+<p>"And now, Albina," said Cheston, "as I know you can have but little
+leisure to-day, I will only detain you while you indulge me with 'Auld
+lang syne'&mdash;I see the piano has been moved out into the porch."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," said Mrs. Marsden, "on account of the parlour papering."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! Bromley Cheston," exclaimed Albina, "do not ask me to play any of
+those antediluvian Scotch songs. Mrs. Washington Potts cannot tolerate
+anything but Italian."</p>
+
+<p>Cheston, who had no taste for Italian, immediately took his hat, and
+apologizing for the length of his stay, was going away with the thought
+that Albina had much deteriorated in growing up.</p>
+
+<p>"We shall see you this evening without the ceremony of a further
+invitation?" said Albina.</p>
+
+<p>"Of course," replied Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"I quite long to introduce you to Mrs. Washington Potts," said Mrs.
+Marsden.</p>
+
+<p>"What simpletons these women are!" thought Cheston, as he hastily turned
+to depart.</p>
+
+<p>"The big plum-cake's burnt to a coal," said Drusa, putting her head out
+of the kitchen door.</p>
+
+<p>Both the ladies were off in an instant to the scene of disaster. And
+Cheston returned to his hotel, thinking of Mrs. Potts (whom he had made
+up his mind to dislike), of the old adage that "evil communication
+corrupts good manners," and of the almost irresistible contagion of
+folly and vanity. "I am disappointed in Albina," said he; "in future I
+will regard her only as my mother's niece, and more than a cousin she
+shall never be to me."</p>
+
+<p>Albina having assisted Mrs. Marsden in lamenting over the burnt cake,
+took off her silk frock, again pinned up her hair, and joined
+assiduously in preparing another plum-cake to replace the first one. A
+fatality seemed to attend nearly all the confections, as is often the
+case when particular importance is attached to their success. The jelly
+obstinately refused to clarify, and the blanc-mange was equally
+unwilling to congeal. The maccaroons having run in baking, had neither
+shape nor feature, the kisses declined rising, and the sponge-cake
+contradicted its name. Some of the things succeeded, but most were
+complete failures: probably because (as old Katy insisted) "there was a
+spell upon them." In a city these disasters could easily have been
+remedied (even at the eleventh hour) by sending to a confectioner's
+shop, but in the country there is no alternative. Some of these
+mischances might perhaps have been attributed to the volunteered
+assistance of a mantua-maker that had been sent for from the city to
+make new dresses for the occasion, and who on this busy day, being "one
+of the best creatures in the world," had declared her willingness to
+turn her hand to anything.</p>
+
+<p>It was late in the afternoon before the papering was over, and then
+great indeed was the bustle in clearing away the litter, cleaning the
+floors, putting down the carpets, and replacing the furniture. In the
+midst of the confusion, and while the ladies were earnestly engaged in
+fixing the ornaments, Drusa came in to say that Dixon, the waiter that
+had been hired for the evening, had just arrived, and falling to work
+immediately he had poured all the blanc-mange down the sink, mistaking
+it for bonnyclabber.<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> This intelligence was almost too much to bear,
+and Mrs. Marsden could scarcely speak for vexation.</p>
+
+<p>"Drusa," said Albina, "you are a raven that has done nothing all day but
+croak of disaster. Away, and show your face no more, let what will
+happen."</p>
+
+<p>Drusa departed, but in a few minutes she again put in her head at the
+parlour door and said, "Ma'am, may I jist speak one time more?"</p>
+
+<p>"What now?" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! there's nothing else spiled or flung down the sink, jist now," said
+Drusa, "but something's at hand a heap worse than all. Missus's old Aunt
+Quimby has jist landed from the boat, and is coming up the road with
+baggage enough to last all summer."</p>
+
+<p>"Aunt Quimby!" exclaimed Albina; "this indeed caps the climax!"</p>
+
+<p>"Was there ever anything more provoking!" said Mrs. Marsden. "When I
+lived in town she annoyed me sufficiently by coming every week to spend
+a day with me, and now she does not spend days but <i>weeks</i>. I would go
+to Alabama to get rid of her."</p>
+
+<p>"And then," said Albina, "she would come and spend <i>months</i> with us.
+However, to do her justice, she is a very respectable woman."</p>
+
+<p>"All bores are respectable people," replied Mrs. Marsden; "if they were
+otherwise, it would not be in their power to bore us, for we could cut
+them and cast them off at once. How very unlucky! What will Mrs.
+Washington Potts think of her&mdash;and the Montagues too, if they <i>should</i>
+come? Still we must not affront her, as you know she is rich."</p>
+
+<p>"What can her riches signify to us?" said Albina; "she has a married
+daughter."</p>
+
+<p>"True," replied Mrs. Marsden, "but you know riches should always command
+a certain degree of respect, and there are such things as legacies."</p>
+
+<p>"After all, according to the common saying, 'tis an ill wind that blows
+no good;' the parlours having been freshly papered, we can easily
+persuade Aunt Quimby that they are too damp for her to sit in, and so we
+can make her stay up stairs all the evening."</p>
+
+<p>At this moment the old lady's voice was heard at the door, discharging
+the porter who had brought her baggage on his wheelbarrow; and the next
+minute she was in the front parlour. Mrs. Marsden and Albina were
+properly astonished, and, properly delighted at seeing her; but each,
+after a pause of recollection, suddenly seized the old lady by the arms
+and conveyed her into the entry, exclaiming, "Oh! Aunt Quimby! Aunt
+Quimby! this is no place for you."</p>
+
+<p>"What's the meaning of all this?" cried Mrs. Quimby; "why won't you let
+me stay in the parlour?"</p>
+
+<p>"You'll get your death," answered Mrs. Marsden, "you'll get the
+rheumatism. Both parlours have been newly papered to-day, and the walls
+are quite wet."</p>
+
+<p>"That's a bad thing," said Mrs. Quimby, "a very bad thing. I wish you
+had put off your papering till next spring. Who'd have thought of your
+doing it this day of all days?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! Aunt Quimby," said Albina, "why did you not let us know that you
+were coming?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, I wanted to give you an agreeable surprise," replied the old lady.
+"But tell me why the rooms are so decked out, with flowers hanging about
+the looking-glasses and lamps, and why the candles are dressed with cut
+paper, or something that looks like it?"</p>
+
+<p>"We are going to have a party to-night," said Albina.</p>
+
+<p>"A party! I'm glad of it. Then I'm come just in the nick of time."</p>
+
+<p>"I thought you had long since given up parties," said Mrs. Marsden,
+turning pale.</p>
+
+<p>"No, indeed&mdash;why should I&mdash;I always go when I am asked&mdash;to be sure I
+can't make much figure at parties now, being in my seventy-fifth year.
+But Mrs. Howks and Mrs. Himes, and several others of my old friends,
+always invite me to their daughters' parties, along with Mary; and I
+like to sit there and look about me, and see people's new ways. Mary had
+a party herself last winter, and it went off very well, only that both
+the children came out that night with the measles; and one of the lamps
+leaked, and the oil ran all over the side-board and streamed down on the
+carpet; and, it being the first time we ever had ice-cream in the house,
+Peter, the stupid black boy, not only brought saucers to eat it in, but
+cups and saucers both."</p>
+
+<p>The old lady was now hurried up stairs, and she showed much
+dissatisfaction on being told that as the damp parlours would certainly
+give her her death, there was no alternative but for her to remain all
+the evening in the chamber allotted to her. This chamber (the best
+furnished in the house) was also to be 'the ladies' room,' and Albina
+somewhat consoled Mrs. Quimby by telling her that as the ladies would
+come up there to take off their hoods and arrange their hair, she would
+have an opportunity of seeing them all before they went down stairs. And
+Mrs. Marsden promised to give orders that a portion of all the
+refreshments should be carried up to her, and that Miss Matson, the
+mantua-maker, should sit with her a great part of the evening.</p>
+
+<p>It was now time for Albina and her mother to commence dressing, but Mrs.
+Marsden went down stairs again with 'more last words' to the servants,
+and Albina to make some change in the arrangement of the centre-table.</p>
+
+<p>She was in a loose gown, her curls were pinned up, and to keep them
+close and safe, she had tied over her head an old gauze handkerchief.
+While bending over the centre-table, and marking with rose-leaves some
+of the most beautiful of Mrs. Hemans' poems, and opening two or three
+souvenirs at their finest plates, a knock was suddenly heard at the
+door, which proved to be the baker with the second plum-cake, it having
+been consigned to <i>his</i> oven. Albina desired him to bring it to her, and
+putting it on the silver waiter, she determined to divide it herself
+into slices, being afraid to trust that business to any one else, lest
+it should be awkwardly cut, or broken to pieces; it being quite warm.</p>
+
+<p>The baker went out, leaving the front door open, and Albina, intent on
+her task of cutting the cake, did not look up till she heard the sound
+of footsteps in the parlour; and then what was her dismay on perceiving
+Mr. and Mrs. Montague and their daughter.</p>
+
+<p>Albina's first impulse was to run away, but she saw that it was now too
+late; and, pale with confusion and vexation, she tried to summon
+sufficient self-command to enable her to pass off this <i>contre-tems</i>
+with something like address.</p>
+
+<p>It was not yet dusk, the sun being scarcely down, and of all the persons
+invited to the party, it was natural to suppose that the English family
+would have come the latest.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Montague was a long-bodied short-legged man, with round gray eyes,
+that looked as if they had been put on the outside of his face, the
+sockets having no apparent concavity: a sort of eye that is rarely seen
+in an American. He had a long nose and a large heavy mouth with
+projecting under-teeth, and altogether an unusual quantity of face;
+which face was bordered round with whiskers, that began at his eyes and
+met under his chin, and resembled in texture the coarse wiry fur of a
+black bear. He kept his hat under his arm, and his whole dress seemed as
+if modelled from one of the caricature prints of a London dandy.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Montague (evidently some years older than her husband) was a
+gigantic woman, with features that looked as if seen through a
+magnifying glass. She wore heavy piles of yellowish curls, and a crimson
+velvet tocque. Her daughter was a tall hard-faced girl of seventeen,
+meant for a child by her parents, but not meaning herself as such. She
+was dressed in a white muslin frock and trowsers, and had a mass of
+black hair curling on her neck and shoulders.</p>
+
+<p>They all fixed their large eyes directly upon Albina, and it was no
+wonder that she quailed beneath their glance, or rather their stare,
+particularly when Mrs. Montague surveyed her through her eye-glass. Mr.
+Montague spoke first. "Your note did not specify the hour&mdash;Miss&mdash;Miss
+Martin," said he, "and as you Americans are early people, we thought we
+were complying with the simplicity of republican manners by coming
+before dark. We suppose that in general you adhere to the primitive
+maxim of 'early to bed and early to rise.' I forget the remainder of the
+rhyme, but <i>you</i> know it undoubtedly."</p>
+
+<p>Albina at that moment wished for the presence of Bromley Cheston. She
+saw from the significant looks that passed between the Montagues, that
+the unseasonable earliness of this visit did not arise from their
+ignorance of the customs of American society, but from premeditated
+impertinence. And she regretted still more having invited them, when Mr.
+Montague with impudent familiarity walked up to the cake (which she had
+nicely cut into slices without altering its form) and took one of them
+out.&mdash;"Miss Martin," said he, "your cake looks so inviting that I cannot
+refrain from helping myself to a piece. Mrs. Montague, give me leave to
+present one to you. Miss Montague, will you try a slice?"</p>
+
+<p>They sat down on the sofa, each with a piece of cake, and Albina saw
+that they could scarcely refrain from laughing openly, not only at her
+dishabille, but at her disconcerted countenance.</p>
+
+<p>Just at this moment, Drusa appeared at the door, and called out, "Miss
+Albinar, the presarved squinches are all working. Missus found 'em so
+when she opened the jar." Albina could bear no more, but hastily
+darting out of the room, she ran up stairs almost crying with vexation.</p>
+
+<p>Old Mrs. Quimby was loud in her invectives against Mr. Montague for
+spoiling the symmetry of the cake, and helping himself and his family so
+unceremoniously. "You may rely upon it," said she, "a man that will do
+such a thing in a strange house is no gentleman."</p>
+
+<p>"On the contrary," observed Mrs. Marsden, "I have no doubt that in
+England these free and easy proceedings are high ton. Albina, have not
+you read some such things in Vivian Grey?"</p>
+
+<p>"I do not believe," said Mrs. Quimby, "that if this Englishman was in
+his own country, he would dare to go and take other people's cake
+without leave or license. But he thinks any sort of behaviour good
+enough for the Yankees, as they call us."</p>
+
+<p>"I care not for the cake," said Albina, "although the pieces must now be
+put into baskets; I only think of the Montagues walking in without
+knocking, and catching me in complete dishabille: after I had kept poor
+Bromley Cheston waiting half an hour this morning rather than he should
+see me in my pink gingham gown and with my hair in pins."</p>
+
+<p>"As sure as sixpence," remarked Mrs. Quimby, "this last shame has come
+upon you as a punishment for your pride to your own cousin."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Marsden having gone into the adjoining room to dress, Albina
+remained in this, and placed herself before the glass for the same
+purpose. "Heigho!" said she, "how pale and jaded I look! What a
+fatiguing day I have had! I have been on my feet since five o'clock this
+morning, and I feel now more fit to go to bed than to add to my
+weariness by the task of dressing, and then playing the agreeable for
+four or five hours. I begin to think that parties (at least such parties
+as are now in vogue) should only be given by persons who have large
+houses, large purses, conveniences of every description, and servants
+enough to do all that is necessary."</p>
+
+<p>"Albina is talking quite sensibly," said Aunt Quimby to Mrs. Marsden,
+who came in to see if her daughter required her assistance in dressing.</p>
+
+<p>"Pho!" said Mrs. Marsden, "think of the eclat of giving a party to Mrs.
+Washington Potts, and of having the Montagues among the guests! We shall
+find the advantage of it when we visit the city again."</p>
+
+<p>"Albina," said Aunt Quimby, "now we are about dressing, just quit for a
+few moments and help me on with my long stays and my new black silk
+gown, and let me have the glass awhile; I am going to wear my lace cap
+with the white satin riband. This dark calico gown and plain muslin cap
+won't do at all to sit here in, before all the ladies that are coming
+up."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! no matter," replied Albina, who was unwilling to relinquish the
+glass or to occupy any of her time by assisting her aunt in dressing
+(which was always a troublesome and tedious business with the old lady);
+and her mother had now gone down to be ready for the reception of the
+company, and to pay her compliments to the Montagues. "Oh! no matter,"
+said Albina, "your present dress looks perfectly well; and the ladies
+will be too much engaged with themselves and their own dresses, to
+remark anything else. No one will observe whether your gown is calico or
+silk, and whether your cap is muslin or lace. Elderly ladies are always
+privileged to wear what is most convenient to them."</p>
+
+<p>Albina put on the new dress that the mantua-maker had made for her. When
+she tried it on the preceding evening Miss Matson declared that "it
+fitted like wax." She now found that it was scarcely possible to get it
+on at all, and that one side of the forebody was larger than the other.
+Miss Matson was called up, and by dint of the pulling, stretching, and
+smoothing well known to mantua-makers, and still more by means of her
+pertinacious assurances that the dress had no fault whatever, Albina was
+obliged to acknowledge that she <i>could</i> wear it, and the redundancy of
+the large side was pinned down and pinned over. In sticking in her comb
+she broke it in half, and it was long before she could arrange her hair
+to her satisfaction without it. Before she had completed her toilette,
+several of the ladies arrived and came into the room; and Albina was
+obliged to snatch up her paraphernalia, and make her escape into the
+next apartment.</p>
+
+<p>At last she was dressed&mdash;she went down stairs. The company arrived fast,
+and the party began.</p>
+
+<p>Bromley Cheston had come early to assist in doing the honours, and as he
+led Albina to a seat, he saw that, in spite of her smiles, she looked
+weary and out of spirits; and he pitied her. "After all," thought he,
+"there is much that is interesting about Albina Marsden."</p>
+
+<p>The party was <i>very</i> select, consisting of the élite of the village and
+its neighbourhood; but still, as is often the case, those whose presence
+was most desirable had sent excuses, and those who were not wanted had
+taken care to come. And Miss Boreham (a young lady who, having nothing
+else to recommend her, had been invited solely on account of the usual
+elegance of her attire, and whose dress was expected to add prodigiously
+to the effect of the rooms), came most unaccountably in an old faded
+frock of last year's fashion, with her hair quite plain, and tucked
+behind her ears with two side-combs. Could she have had a suspicion of
+the reason for which she was generally invited, and have therefore
+perversely determined on a reaction?</p>
+
+<p>The Montagues sat together in a corner, putting up their eye-glasses at
+every one that entered the room, and criticising the company in loud
+whispers to each other; poor Mrs. Marsden endeavouring to catch
+opportunities of paying her court to them.</p>
+
+<p>About nine o'clock, appeared an immense cap of blond lace, gauze riband,
+and flowers; and under the cap was Mrs. Washington Potts, a little,
+thin, trifling-looking woman with a whitish freckled face, small sharp
+features, and flaxen hair. She leaned on the arm of Mr. Washington
+Potts, who was nothing in company or anywhere else; and she led by the
+hand a little boy in a suit of scarlet, braided and frogged with blue: a
+pale rat-looking child, whose name she pronounced Laughy-yet, meaning La
+Fayette; and who being the youngest scion of the house of Potts, always
+went to parties with his mother, because he would not stay at home.</p>
+
+<p>Bromley Cheston, on being introduced to Mrs. Washington Potts, was
+surprised at the insignificance of her figure and face. He had imagined
+her tall in stature, large in feature, loud in voice, and in short the
+very counterpart to Mrs. Montague. He found her, however, as he had
+supposed, replete with vanity, pride, ignorance, and folly: to which she
+added a sickening affectation of sweetness and amiability, and a flimsy
+pretension to extraordinary powers of conversation, founded on a
+confused assemblage of incorrect and superficial ideas, which she
+mistook for a general knowledge of everything in the world.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Potts was delighted with the handsome face and figure, and the very
+genteel appearance of the young lieutenant, and she bestowed upon him a
+large portion of her talk.</p>
+
+<p>"I hear, sir," said she, "you have been in the Mediterranean Sea. A
+sweet pretty place, is it not?"</p>
+
+<p>"Its shores," replied Cheston, "are certainly very beautiful."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, I should admire its chalky cliffs vastly," resumed Mrs. Potts;
+"they are quite poetical, you know. Pray, sir, which do you prefer,
+Byron or Bonaparte? I dote upon Byron; and considering what sweet verses
+he wrote, 'tis a pity he was a corsair, and a vampyre pirate, and all
+such horrid things. As for Bonaparte, I never could endure him after I
+found that he had cut off poor old King George's head. Now, when we talk
+of great men, my husband is altogether for Washington. I laugh, and tell
+Mr. Potts it's because he and Washington are namesakes. How do you like
+La Fayette?"&mdash;(pronouncing the name à la canaille).</p>
+
+<p>"The man, or the name?" inquired Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! both to be sure. You see we have called our youngest blossom after
+him. Come here, La Fayette, stand forward, my dear; hold up your head,
+and make a bow to the gentleman."</p>
+
+<p>"I won't," screamed La Fayette. "I'll never make a bow when you tell
+me."</p>
+
+<p>"Something of the spirit of his ancestors," said Mrs. Potts, affectedly
+smiling to Cheston, and patting the urchin on the head.</p>
+
+<p>"His ancestors!" thought Cheston. "Who could they possibly have been?"</p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps the dear fellow may be a little, a very little spoiled,"
+pursued Mrs. Potts. "But to make a comparison in the marine line (quite
+in your way, you know), it is as natural for a mother's heart to turn to
+her youngest darling, as it is for the needle to point out the
+longitude. Now we talk of longitude, have you read Cooper's last novel,
+by the author of the Spy? It's a sweet book&mdash;Cooper is one of my pets. I
+saw him in dear, delightful Paris. Are you musical, Mr. Cheston?&mdash;But of
+course you are. Our whole aristocracy is musical now. How do you like
+Paganini? You must have heard him in Europe. It's a very expensive thing
+to hear Paganini.&mdash;Poor man! he is quite ghastly with his own playing.
+Well, as you have been in the Mediterranean, which do you prefer, the
+Greeks or the Poles?"</p>
+
+<p>"The Poles, decidedly," answered Cheston, "from what I have heard of
+<i>them</i>, and seen of the Greeks."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, for my part," resumed Mrs. Potts, "I confess I like the Greeks,
+as I have always been rather classical. They are so Grecian. Think of
+their beautiful statues and paintings by Rubens and Reynolds. Are you
+fond of paintings? At my house in the city, I can show you some very
+fine ones."</p>
+
+<p>"By what artists?" asked Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! by my daughter Harriet. She did them at drawing-school with
+theorems. They are beautiful flower-pieces, all framed and hung up; they
+are almost worthy of Sir Benjamin West."<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p>
+
+<p>In this manner Mrs. Potts ran on till the entrance of tea, and Cheston
+took that opportunity of escaping from her; while she imagined him
+deeply imbued with admiration of her fluency, vivacity, and variety of
+information. But in reality, he was thinking of the strange depravity of
+taste that is sometimes found even in intelligent minds; for in no other
+way could he account for Albina's predilection for Mrs. Washington
+Potts. "And yet," thought he, "is a young and inexperienced girl more
+blameable for her blindness in friendship (or what she imagines to be
+friendship), than an acute, sensible, talented man for his blindness in
+love? The master-spirits of the earth have almost proverbially married
+women of weak intellect, and almost as proverbially the children of such
+marriages resemble the mother rather than the father. A just punishment
+for choosing so absurdly. Albina, I must know you better."</p>
+
+<p>The party went on, much as parties generally do where there are four or
+five guests that are supposed to rank all the others. The patricians
+evidently despised the plebeians, and the plebeians were offended at
+being despised; for in no American assemblage is any real inferiority of
+rank ever felt or acknowledged. There was a general dullness, and a
+general restraint. Little was done, and little was said. La Fayette
+wandered about in everybody's way; having been kept wide awake all the
+evening by two cups of strong coffee, which his mother allowed him to
+take because he would have them.</p>
+
+<p>There was always a group round the centre-table, listlessly turning
+over the souvenirs, albums, &amp;c., and picking at the flowers; and La
+Fayette ate plum-cake over Cheston's beautiful drawings.</p>
+
+<p>Albina played an Italian song extremely well, but the Montagues
+exchanged glances at her music; and Mrs. Potts, to follow suit, hid her
+face behind her fan and simpered; though in truth she did not in reality
+know Italian from French, or a semibreve from a semiquaver. All this was
+a great annoyance to Cheston. At Albina's request, he led Miss Montague
+to the piano. She ran her fingers over the instrument as if to try it;
+gave a shudder, and declared it most shockingly out of tune, and then
+rose in horror from the music stool. This much surprised Mrs. Marsden,
+as a musician had been brought from the city only the day before for the
+express purpose of tuning this very instrument.</p>
+
+<p>"No," whispered Miss Montague, as she resumed her seat beside her
+mother, "I will not condescend to play before people who are incapable
+of understanding my style."</p>
+
+<p>At this juncture (to the great consternation of Mrs. Marsden and her
+daughter) who should make her appearance but Aunt Quimby in the calico
+gown which Albina now regretted having persuaded her to keep on. The old
+lady was wrapped in a small shawl and two large ones, and her head was
+secured from cold by a black silk handkerchief tied over her cap and
+under her chin. She smiled and nodded all round to the company, and
+said&mdash;"How do you do, good people; I hope you are all enjoying
+yourselves. I thought I <i>must</i> come down and have a peep at you. For
+after I had seen all the ladies take off their hoods, and had my tea, I
+found it pretty dull work sitting up stairs with the mantua-maker, who
+had no more manners than to fall asleep while I was talking."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Marsden, much discomfited, led Aunt Quimby to a chair between two
+matrons who were among "the unavoidably invited," and whose pretensions
+to refinement were not very palpable. But the old lady had no idea of
+remaining stationary all the evening between Mrs. Johnson and Mrs.
+Jackson. She wisely thought "she could see more of the party," if she
+frequently changed her place, and being of what is called a sociable
+disposition, she never hesitated to talk to any one that was near her,
+however high or however low.</p>
+
+<p>"Dear mother," said Albina in an under-voice, "what can be the reason
+that every one, in tasting the ice-cream, immediately sets it aside as
+if it was not fit to eat? I am sure there is everything in it that ought
+to be."</p>
+
+<p>"And something more than ought to be," replied Mrs. Marsden, after
+trying a spoonful&mdash;"the salt that was laid round the freezer has got
+into the cream (I suppose by Dixon's carelessness), and it is <i>not</i> fit
+to eat."</p>
+
+<p>"And now," said Albina, starting, "I will show you a far worse
+mortification than the failure of the ice-cream. Only look&mdash;there sits
+Aunt Quimby between Mr. Montague and Mrs. Washington Potts."</p>
+
+<p>"How in the world did she get there?" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden. "I dare
+say she walked up, and asked them to make room for her between them.
+There is nothing now to be done but to pass her off as well as we can,
+and to make the best of her. I will manage to get as near as possible,
+that I may hear what she is talking about, and take an opportunity of
+persuading her away."</p>
+
+<p>As Mrs. Marsden approached within hearing distance, Mr. Montague was
+leaning across Aunt Quimby, and giving Mrs. Potts an account of
+something that had been said or done during a splendid entertainment at
+Devonshire House.&mdash;"Just at that moment," said he, "I was lounging into
+the room with Lady Augusta Fitzhenry on my arm (unquestionably the
+finest woman in England), and Mrs. Montague was a few steps in advance,
+leaning on my friend the Marquis of Elvington."</p>
+
+<p>"Pray, sir," said Mrs. Quimby, "as you are from England, do you know
+anything of Betsey Dempsey's husband?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have not the honour of being acquainted with that person," replied
+Mr. Montague, after a withering stare.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, that's strange," pursued Aunt Quimby, "considering that he has
+been living in London at least eighteen years&mdash;or perhaps it is only
+seventeen. And yet I think it must be near eighteen, if not quite. Maybe
+seventeen and a half. Well it's best to be on the safe side, so I'll say
+seventeen. Betsey Dempsey's mother was an old school-mate of mine. Her
+father kept the Black Horse tavern. She was the only acquaintance I ever
+had that married an Englishman. He was a grocer, and in very good
+business; but he never liked America, and was always finding fault with
+it, and so he went home, and was to send for Betsey. But he never sent
+for her at all; and for a very good reason; which was that he had
+another wife in England, as most of them have&mdash;no disparagement to you,
+sir."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Marsden now came up, and informed Mrs. Potts in a whisper, that the
+good old lady beside her, was a distant relation or rather connexion of
+<i>Mr.</i> Marsden's, and that, though a little primitive in appearance and
+manner, she had considerable property in bank-stock. To Mrs. Marsden's
+proposal that she should exchange her seat for a very pleasant one in
+the other room next to her old friend, Mrs. Willis, Aunt Quimby replied
+nothing but "Thank you, I'm doing very well here."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. and Miss Montague, apparently heeding no one else, had talked
+nearly the whole evening to each other, but loudly enough to be heard by
+all around them. The young lady, though dressed as a child, talked like
+a woman, and she and her mother were now engaged in an argument whether
+the flirtation of the Duke of Risingham with Lady Georgiana Melbury
+would end seriously or not.</p>
+
+<p>"To my certain knowledge," said Miss Montague, "his Grace has never yet
+declared himself to Lady Georgiana, or to any one else."</p>
+
+<p>"I'll lay you two to one," said Mrs. Montague, "that he is married to
+her before we return to England."</p>
+
+<p>"No," replied the daughter, "like all others of his sex he delights in
+keeping the ladies in suspense."</p>
+
+<p>"What you say, miss, is very true," said Aunt Quimby, leaning in her
+turn across Mr. Montague, "and, considering how young you are, you talk
+very sensibly. Men certainly have a way of keeping women in suspense,
+and an unwillingness to answer questions, even when we ask them. There's
+my son-in-law, Billy Fairfowl, that I live with. He married my daughter
+Mary, eleven years ago the 23d of last April. He's as good a man as ever
+breathed, and an excellent provider too. He always goes to market
+himself; and sometimes I can't help blaming him a little for his
+extravagance. But his greatest fault is his being so unsatisfactory. As
+far back as last March, as I was sitting at my knitting in the little
+front parlour with the door open (for it was quite warm weather for the
+time of the year), Billy Fairfowl came home, carrying in his hand a good
+sized shad; and I called out to him to ask what he gave for it, for it
+was the very beginning of the shad season; but he made not a word of
+answer; he just passed on, and left the shad in the kitchen, and then
+went to his store. At dinner we had the fish, and a very nice one it
+was; and I asked him again how much he gave for it, but he still
+avoided answering, and began to talk of something else; so I thought I'd
+let it rest awhile. A week or two after, I again asked him; so then he
+actually said he had forgotten all about it. And to this day I don't
+know the price of that shad."</p>
+
+<p>The Montagues looked at each other&mdash;almost laughed aloud, and drew back
+their chairs as far from Aunt Quimby as possible. So also did Mrs.
+Potts. Mrs. Marsden came up in an agony of vexation, and reminded her
+aunt in a low voice of the risk of renewing her rheumatism by staying so
+long between the damp, newly-papered walls. The old lady answered
+aloud&mdash;"Oh! you need not fear, I am well wrapped up on purpose. And
+indeed, considering that the parlours were only papered to-day, I think
+the walls have dried wonderfully (putting her hand on the paper)&mdash;I am
+sure nobody could find out the damp if they were not told."</p>
+
+<p>"What!" exclaimed the Montagues; "only papered to-day&mdash;(starting up and
+testifying all that prudent fear of taking cold, so characteristic of
+the English). How barbarous to inveigle us into such a place!"</p>
+
+<p>"I thought I felt strangely chilly all the evening," said Mrs. Potts,
+whose fan had scarcely been at rest five minutes.</p>
+
+<p>The Montagues proposed going away immediately, and Mrs. Potts declared
+she was <i>most</i> apprehensive for poor little La Fayette. Mrs. Marsden,
+who could not endure the idea of their departing till all the
+refreshments had been handed round (the best being yet to come), took
+great pains to persuade them that there was no real cause of alarm, as
+she had had large fires all the afternoon. They held a whispered
+consultation, in which they agreed to stay for the oysters and chicken
+salad, and Mrs. Marsden went out to send them their shawls, with one for
+La Fayette.</p>
+
+<p>By this time the secret of the newly-papered walls had spread round both
+rooms; the conversation now turned entirely on colds and rheumatisms;
+there was much shivering and considerable coughing, and the demand for
+shawls increased. However, nobody actually went home in consequence.</p>
+
+<p>"Papa," said Miss Montague, "let us all take French leave as soon as the
+oysters and chicken salad have gone round."</p>
+
+<p>Albina now came up to Aunt Quimby (gladly perceiving that the old lady
+looked tired), and proposed that she should return to her chamber,
+assuring her that the waiters should be punctually sent up to her&mdash;"I do
+not feel quite ready to go yet," replied Mrs. Quimby. "I am very well
+here. But you need not mind <i>me</i>. Go back to your company, and talk a
+little to those three poor girls in the yellow frocks that nobody has
+spoken to yet, except Bromley Cheston. When I am ready to go I shall
+take French leave, as these English people call it."</p>
+
+<p>But Aunt Quimby's idea of French leave was very different from the usual
+acceptation of the term; for having always heard that the French were a
+very polite people, she concluded that their manner of taking leave must
+be particularly respectful and ceremonious. Therefore, having paid her
+parting compliments to Mrs. Potts and the Montagues, she walked all
+round the room, curtsying to every body and shaking hands, and telling
+them she had come to take French leave. To put an end to this ridiculous
+scene, Bromley Cheston (who had been on assiduous duty all the evening)
+now came forward, and, taking the old lady's arm in his, offered to
+escort her up stairs. Aunt Quimby was much flattered by this unexpected
+civility from the finest-looking young man in the room, and she
+smilingly departed with him, complimenting him on his politeness, and
+assuring him that he was a real gentleman; trying also to make out the
+degree of relationship that existed between them.</p>
+
+<p>"So much for Buckingham!" said Cheston, as he ran down stairs after
+depositing the old lady at the door of her room. "Fools of all ranks and
+of all ages are to me equally intolerable. I never can marry into such a
+family."</p>
+
+<p>The party went on.</p>
+
+<p>"In the name of heaven, Mrs. Potts," said Mrs. Montague, "what induces
+you to patronize these people?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why they are the only tolerable persons in the neighbourhood," answered
+Mrs. Potts, "and very kind and obliging in their way. I really think
+Albina a very sweet girl, very sweet indeed: and Mrs. Marsden is rather
+amiable too, quite amiable. And they are so grateful for any little
+notice I take of them, that it is really quite affecting. Poor things!
+how much trouble they have given themselves in getting up this party.
+They look as if they had had a hard day's work; and I have no doubt they
+will be obliged, in consequence, to pinch them for months to come; for I
+can assure you their means are very small&mdash;very small indeed. As to this
+intolerable old aunt, I never saw her before; and as there is something
+rather genteel about Mrs. Marsden and her daughter&mdash;rather so at least
+about Albina&mdash;I did not suppose they had any such relations belonging to
+them. I think, in future I must confine myself entirely to the
+aristocracy."</p>
+
+<p>"We deliberated to the last moment," said Mrs. Montague, "whether we
+should come. But as Mr. Montague is going to write his tour when we
+return to England, he thinks it expedient to make some sacrifices, for
+the sake of seeing the varieties of American society."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! these people are not in society!" exclaimed Mrs. Potts eagerly. "I
+can assure you these Marsdens have not the slightest pretensions to
+society. Oh! no&mdash;I beg you not to suppose that Mrs. Marsden and her
+daughter are at all in society!"</p>
+
+<p>This conversation was overheard by Bromley Cheston, and it gave him more
+pain than he was willing to acknowledge, even to himself.</p>
+
+<p>At length all the refreshments had gone their rounds, and the Montagues
+had taken real French leave; but Mrs. Washington Potts preferred a
+conspicuous departure, and therefore made her adieux with a view of
+producing great effect. This was the signal for the company to break up,
+and Mrs. Marsden gladly smiled them out; while Albina could have said
+with Gray's Prophetess&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Now my weary lips I close,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Leave me, leave me to repose."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>But, according to Mrs. Marsden, the worst of all was the poet, the
+professedly eccentric Bewley Garvin Gandy, author of the World of
+Sorrow, Elegy on a Broken Heart, Lines on a Suppressed Sigh, Sonnet to a
+Hidden Tear, Stanzas to Faded Hopes, &amp;c. &amp;c., and who was just now
+engaged in a tale called "The Bewildered," and an Ode to the Waning
+Moon, which set him to wandering about the country, and "kept him out
+o'nights." The poet, not being a man of this world, did not make his
+appearance at the party till the moment of the bustle occasioned by the
+exit of Mrs. Washington Potts. He then darted suddenly into the room,
+and looked wild.</p>
+
+<p>We will not insinuate that he bore any resemblance to Sandy Clark. He
+certainly wore no chapeau, and his coat was not in the least à la
+militaire, for it was a dusky brown frock. His collar was open, in the
+fashion attributed to Byron, and much affected by scribblers who are
+incapable of imitating the noble bard in anything but his follies. His
+hair looked as if he had just been tearing it, and his eyes seemed "in
+a fine frenzy rolling." He was on his return from one of his moonlight
+rambles on the banks of the river, and his pantaloons and coat-skirt
+showed evident marks of having been deep among the cat-tails and
+splatter-docks that grew in the mud on its margin.</p>
+
+<p>Being a man that took no note of time, he wandered into Mrs. Marsden's
+house between eleven and twelve o'clock, and remained an hour after the
+company had gone; reclining at full length on a sofa, and discussing
+Barry Cornwall and Percy Bysshe Shelley, L. E. L. and Mrs. Cornwall
+Baron Wilson. After which he gradually became classical, and poured into
+the sleepy ears of Mrs. Marsden and Albina a parallel between Tibullus
+and Propertius, a dissertation on Alcæus, and another on Menander.</p>
+
+<p>Bromley Cheston, who had been escorting home two sets of young ladies
+that lived "far as the poles asunder," passed Mrs. Marsden's house on
+returning to his hotel, and seeing the lights still gleaming, he went in
+to see what was the matter, and kindly relieved his aunt and cousin by
+reminding the poet of the lateness of the hour, and "fairly carrying him
+off."</p>
+
+<p>Aunt Quimby had long since been asleep. But before Mrs. Marsden and
+Albina could forget themselves in "tired nature's sweet restorer," they
+lay awake for an hour, discussing the fatigues and vexations of the day,
+and the mortifications of the evening. "After all," said Albina, "this
+party has cost us five times as much as it is worth, both in trouble and
+expense, and I really cannot tell what pleasure we have derived from
+it."</p>
+
+<p>"No one expects pleasure at their own party," replied Mrs. Marsden. "But
+you may depend on it, this little compliment to Mrs. Washington Potts
+will prove highly advantageous to us hereafter. And then it is
+<i>something</i> to be the only family in the neighbourhood that could
+presume to do such a thing."</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, Bromley Cheston received a letter which required his
+immediate presence in New York on business of importance. When he went
+to take leave of his aunt and cousin, he found them busily engaged in
+clearing away and putting in order; a task which is nearly equal to that
+of making the preparations for a party. They looked pale and
+spiritless, and Mrs. Washington Potts had just sent her three boys to
+spend the day with them.</p>
+
+<p>When Cheston took Albina's hand at parting, he felt it tremble, and her
+eyes looked as if they were filling with tears. "After all," thought he,
+"she is a charming girl, and has both sense and sensibility."</p>
+
+<p>"I am very nervous to-day," said Albina, "the party has been too much
+for me; and I have in prospect for to-morrow the pain of taking leave of
+Mrs. Washington Potts, who returns with all her family to Philadelphia."</p>
+
+<p>"Strange infatuation!" thought Cheston, as he dropped Albina's hand, and
+made his parting bow. "I must see more of this girl, before I can
+resolve to trust my happiness to her keeping; I cannot share her heart
+with Mrs. Washington Potts. When I return from New York, I will talk to
+her seriously about that ridiculous woman, and I will also remonstrate
+with her mother on the folly of straining every nerve in the pursuit of
+what she calls a certain style."</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon, Mrs. Potts did Albina the honour to send for her to
+assist in the preparations for to-morrow's removal to town; and in the
+evening, the three boys were all taken home sick, in consequence of
+having laid violent hands on the fragments of the feast: which fragments
+they had continued during the day to devour almost without intermission.
+Also Randolph had thrown Jefferson down stairs, and raised two green
+bumps on his forehead, and Jefferson had pinched La Fayette's fingers in
+the door till the blood came; not to mention various minor squabbles and
+hurts.</p>
+
+<p>At parting, Mrs. Potts went so far as to kiss Albina, and made her
+promise to let her know immediately, whenever she or her mother came to
+the city.</p>
+
+<p>In about two weeks, Aunt Quimby finished her visitation: and the day
+after her departure, Mrs. Marsden and Albina went to town to make their
+purchases for the season, and also with a view towards a party, which
+they knew Mrs. Potts had in contemplation. This time they did not, as
+usual, stay with their relations, but they took lodgings at a
+fashionable boarding-house, where they could receive their "great
+woman," <i>comme il faut</i>.</p>
+
+<p>On the morning after their arrival, Mrs. Marsden and her daughter, in
+their most costly dresses, went to visit Mrs. Potts, that she might be
+apprised of their arrival; and they found her in a spacious house,
+expensively and ostentatiously furnished.</p>
+
+<p>After they had waited till even <i>their</i> patience was nearly exhausted,
+Mrs. Potts came down stairs to them, but there was evidently a great
+abatement in her affability. She seemed uneasy, looked frequently
+towards the door, got up several times and went to the window, and
+appeared fidgety when the bell rung. At last there came in two very
+flaunting ladies, whom Mrs. Potts received as if she considered them
+people of consequence. They were not introduced to the Marsdens, who,
+after the entrance of these new visitors, sat awhile in the pitiable
+situation of ciphers, and then took their leave. "Strange," said Mrs.
+Marsden, "that she did not say a word of her party."</p>
+
+<p>Three days after their visit, Mrs. Washington Potts left cards for Mrs.
+and Miss Marsden, without inquiring if they were at home. And they heard
+from report that her party was fixed for the week after next, and that
+it was expected to be very splendid, as it was to introduce her
+daughter, who had just quitted boarding-school. The Marsdens had seen
+this young lady, who had spent the August holidays with her parents. She
+was as silly as her mother, and as dull as her father, in the eyes of
+all who were not blindly determined to think her otherwise, or who did
+not consider it particularly expedient to uphold every one of the name
+of Potts.</p>
+
+<p>At length they heard that the invitations were going out for Mrs.
+Potts's party, and that though very large, it was not to be general;
+which meant that only one or two of the members were to be selected from
+each family with whom Mrs. Potts thought proper to acknowledge an
+acquaintance. From this moment Mrs. Marsden, who at the best of times
+had never really been treated with much respect by Mrs. Potts, gave up
+all hope of an invitation for herself; but she counted certainly on one
+for Albina, and every ring at the door was expected to bring it. There
+were many rings, but no invitation; and poor Albina and her mother took
+turns in watching at the window.</p>
+
+<p>At last Bogle<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> was seen to come up the steps with a handful of notes;
+and Albina, regardless of all rule, ran to the front-door herself. They
+were cards for a party, but not Mrs. Potts's, and were intended for two
+other ladies that lodged in the house.</p>
+
+<p>Every time that Albina went out and came home, she inquired anxiously
+of all the servants if no note had been left for her. Still there was
+none. And her mother still insisted that the note <i>must</i> have come, but
+had been mislaid afterwards, or that Bogle had lost it in the street.</p>
+
+<p>Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday passed over, and still no
+invitation. Mrs. Marsden talked much of the carelessness of servants,
+and had no doubt of the habitual negligence of Messrs. Bogle, Shepherd,
+and other "fashionable party-men." Albina was almost sick with "hope
+deferred." At last, when she came home on Monday morning from Second
+street, her mother met her at the door with a delighted face, and showed
+her the long-desired note, which had just been brought by Mrs. Potts's
+own man. The party was to take place in two days: and so great was now
+Albina's happiness, that she scarcely felt the fatigue of searching the
+shops for articles of attire that were very elegant, and yet not <i>too</i>
+expensive; and shopping with a limited purse is certainly no trifling
+exercise both of mind and body; so also is the task of going round among
+fashionable mantua-makers, in the hope of coaxing one of them to
+undertake a dress at a short notice.</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, Mrs. Potts sent for Albina immediately after breakfast,
+and told her that as she knew her to be very clever at all sorts of
+things, she wanted her to stay that day and assist in the preparations
+for the next. Mrs. Potts, like many other people who live in showy
+houses and dress extravagantly, was very economical in servants. She
+gave such low wages, that none would come to her who could get places
+anywhere else, and she kept them on such limited allowance that none
+would stay with her who were worth having.</p>
+
+<p>Fools are seldom consistent in their expenditure. They generally (to use
+a homely expression) strain at gnats and swallow camels.</p>
+
+<p>About noon, Albina having occasion to consult Mrs. Potts concerning
+something that was to be done, found her in the front parlour with Mrs.
+and Miss Montague. After Albina had left the room, Mrs. Montague said to
+Mrs. Potts&mdash;"Is not that the girl who lives with her mother at the place
+on the river, I forget what you call it&mdash;I mean the niece of the aunt?"</p>
+
+<p>"That is Albina Marsden," replied Mrs. Potts.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," pursued Mrs. Montague, "the people that made so great an exertion
+to give you a sort of party, and honoured Mr. and Miss Montague and
+myself with invitations."</p>
+
+<p>"She's not to be here to-morrow night, I hope!" exclaimed Miss Montague.</p>
+
+<p>"Really," replied Mrs. Potts, "I could do no less than ask her. The poor
+thing did her very best to be civil to us all last summer."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" said Mrs. Montague, "in the country one is willing sometimes to
+take up with such company as we should be very sorry to acknowledge in
+town. You assured me that your party to-morrow night would be extremely
+<i>recherché</i>. And as it is so early in the season you know that it is
+necessary to be more particular now than at the close of the campaign,
+when every one is tired of parties, and unwilling to get new evening
+dresses lest they should be out of fashion before they are wanted again.
+Excuse me, I speak only from what I have heard of American customs."</p>
+
+<p>"I am always particular about my parties," said Mrs. Potts.</p>
+
+<p>"A word in your ear," continued Mrs. Montague. "Is it not impolitic, or
+rather are you not afraid to bring forward so beautiful a girl as this
+Miss Martin on the very night of your own daughter's <i>debut</i>?"</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Potts looked alarmed for a moment, and then recovering herself
+said&mdash;"I have no fear of Miss Harriet Angelina Potts being thrown in the
+shade by a little country girl like this. Albina Marsden is pretty
+enough, to be sure&mdash;at least, rather pretty&mdash;but then there is a certain
+style&mdash;a certain air which she of course&mdash;in short, a certain style&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"As to what you call a certain style," said Mrs. Montague, "I do not
+know exactly what you mean. If it signifies the air and manner of a
+lady, this Miss Martin has as much of it as any other American girl. To
+me they are all nearly alike. I cannot distinguish those minute shades
+of difference that you all make such a point of. In my unpractised eyes
+the daughters of your mechanics and shopkeepers look as well and behave
+as well as the daughters of your lawyers and doctors, for I find your
+nobility is chiefly made up of these two professions, with the addition
+of a few merchants; and you call every one a merchant that does not sell
+his commodities by the single yard or the single quart."</p>
+
+<p>"Mamma," whispered Miss Montague, "if that girl is to be here, I don't
+wish to come. I can't endure her."</p>
+
+<p>"Take my advice," continued Mrs. Montague to Mrs. Potts, "and put off
+this Miss Martin. If she was not so strikingly handsome, she might pass
+unnoticed in the crowd. But her beauty will attract general
+observation, and you will be obliged to tell exactly who she is, where
+you picked her up, and to give or to hear an account of her family and
+all her connexions; and from the specimen we have had in the old aunt, I
+doubt if they will bear a very minute scrutiny. So if she <i>is</i> invited,
+endeavour to uninvite her."</p>
+
+<p>"I am sure I would willingly do that," replied Mrs. Potts, "but I can
+really think of no excuse."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! send her a note to-morrow," answered Mrs. Montague, carelessly, and
+rising to depart, "anything or nothing, so that you only signify to her
+that she is not to come."</p>
+
+<p>All day Mrs. Potts was revolving in her mind the most feasible means of
+preventing Albina from appearing at her party; and her conscience smote
+her when she saw the unsuspecting girl so indefatigable in assisting
+with the preparations. Before Albina went home, Mrs. Potts had come to
+the conclusion to follow Mrs. Montague's advice, but she shrunk from the
+task of telling her so in person. She determined to send her next
+morning a concise note, politely requesting her not to come; and she
+intended afterwards to call on her and apologize, on the plea of her
+party being by no means general, but still so large that every inch of
+room was an object of importance; also that the selection consisted
+entirely of persons well known to each other and accustomed to meet in
+company, and that there was every reason to fear that her gentle and
+modest friend Albina would have been unable to enjoy herself among so
+many strangers, &amp;c., &amp;c. Those excuses, she knew, were very flimsy, but
+she trusted to Albina's good nature, and she thought she could smooth
+off all by inviting both her and her mother to a sociable tea.</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, Mrs. Potts, who was on no occasion very ready with her
+pen, considering that she professed to be <i>au fait</i> to everything,
+employed near an hour in manufacturing the following note to Albina.</p>
+
+<p>"Mrs. Washington Potts' compliments to Miss Marsden, and she regrets
+being under the necessity of dispensing with Miss M.'s company, to join
+the social circle at her mansion-house this evening. Mrs. W. P. will
+explain hereafter, hoping Mrs. and Miss M. are both well. Mr. W. P.
+requests his respects to both ladies, as well as Miss Potts, and their
+favourite little La Fayette desires his best love."</p>
+
+<p>This billet arrived while Albina had gone to her mantua-maker, to have
+her new dress fitted on for the last time. Her mother opened the note
+and read it; a liberty which no parent should take with the
+correspondence of a grown-up daughter. Mrs. Marsden was shocked at its
+contents, and at a loss to guess the motive of so strange an
+interdiction. At first her only emotion was resentment against Mrs.
+Potts. Then she thought of the disappointment and mortification of poor
+Albina, whom she pictured to herself passing a forlorn evening at home,
+perhaps crying in her own room. Next, she recollected the elegant new
+dress in which Albina would have looked so beautifully, and which would
+now be useless.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" soliloquized Mrs. Marsden, "what a pity this unaccountable note
+was not dropped and lost in the street. But then, of course some one
+would have found and read it, and that would have been worse than all.
+How could Mrs. Potts be guilty of such abominable rudeness, as to desire
+poor Albina not to come, after she had been invited? But great people
+think they may do anything. I wish the note had fallen into the fire
+before it came to my hands; then Albina would have known nothing of it;
+she would have gone to the party, looking more charmingly than ever she
+did in her life; and she would be seen there, and admired, and make new
+acquaintances, and Mrs. Potts could do no otherwise than behave to her
+politely in her own house. Nobody would know of this vile billet (which
+perhaps after all is only a joke), and Mrs. Potts would suppose, that of
+course Albina had not received it; besides, I have no doubt that Mrs.
+Potts will send for her to-morrow, and make a satisfactory explanation.
+But then, to-night; if Albina could but get there to-night. What harm
+can possible arrive from my not showing her the note till to-morrow? Why
+should the dear girl be deprived of all the pleasure she anticipated
+this evening? And even if she expected no enjoyment whatever, still how
+great will be the advantage of having her seen at Mrs. Washington
+Potts's select party; it will at once get her on in the world. Of course
+Mrs. Potts will conclude that the note had miscarried, and will treat
+her as if it had never been sent. I am really most strongly tempted to
+suppress it, and let Albina go."</p>
+
+<p>The more Mrs. Marsden thought of this project, the less objectionable it
+appeared to her. When she saw Albina come home, delighted with her new
+dress, which fitted her exactly, and when she heard her impatiently
+wishing that evening was come, this weak and ill-judging mother could
+not resolve (as she afterwards said) to dash all her pleasant
+anticipations to the ground, and demolish her castles in the air. "My
+daughter shall be happy to-night," thought she, "whatever may be the
+event of to-morrow." She hastily concealed the note, and kept her
+resolution of not mentioning it to Albina.</p>
+
+<p>Evening came, and Albina's beautiful hair was arranged and decorated by
+a fashionable French barber. She was dressed, and she looked charmingly.</p>
+
+<p>Albina knew that Mrs. Potts had sent an invitation to the United States
+Hotel for Lieutenant Cheston, who was daily expected, but had not yet
+returned from New York, and she regretted much that she could not go to
+the party under his escort. She knew no one else of the company, and she
+had no alternative but to send for a carriage, and proceeded thither by
+herself, after her mother had despatched repeated messages to the hotel
+to know if Mr. Cheston had yet arrived, for he was certainly expected
+back that evening.</p>
+
+<p>As Albina drove to the house, she felt all the terrors of diffidence
+coming upon her, and already repented that she had ventured on this
+enterprise alone. On arriving, she did not go into the ladies' room, but
+gave her hood and cloak at once to a servant, and tremulously requested
+another attendant to inform Mr. Potts that a lady wished to see him. Mr.
+Potts accordingly came out into the hall, and looked surprised at
+finding Albina there, for he had heard his wife and daughter talking of
+the note of interdiction. But concluding, as he often did, that it was
+in vain for him to try to comprehend the proceedings of women, he
+thought it best to say nothing.</p>
+
+<p>On Albina requesting him to accompany her on her entrance, he gave her
+his arm in silence, and with a very perplexed face escorted her into the
+principal room. As he led her up to his wife, his countenance gradually
+changed from perplexity to something like fright. Albina paid her
+compliments to Mrs. Potts, who received her with evident amazement, and
+without replying. Mrs. Montague, who sat next to the lady of the
+mansion, opened still wider her immense eyes, and then, "to make
+assurance doubly sure," applied her opera-glass. Miss Montague first
+stared and then laughed.</p>
+
+<p>Albina, much disconcerted, turned to look for a seat, Mr. Potts having
+withdrawn his arm. As she retired to the only vacant chair, she heard a
+half whisper running along the line of ladies, and though she could not
+distinguish the words so as to make any connected sense of them, she
+felt that they alluded to her.</p>
+
+<p>"Can I believe my eyes?" said Mrs. Potts.</p>
+
+<p>"The assurance of American girls is astonishing," said Mrs. Montague.</p>
+
+<p>"She was forbidden to come," said Miss Montague to a young lady beside
+her. "Mrs. Potts herself forbade her to come."</p>
+
+<p>"She was actually prohibited," resumed Mrs. Montague, leaning over to
+Mrs. Jones.</p>
+
+<p>"I sent her myself a note of prohibition," said Mrs. Potts, leaning over
+to Mrs. Smith. "I had serious objections to having her here."</p>
+
+<p>"I never saw such downright impudence," pursued Mrs. Montague. "This I
+suppose is one of the consequences of the liberty, and freedom and
+independence that you Americans are always talking about. I must tell
+Mr. Montague, for really this is too good to lose."</p>
+
+<p>And beckoning her husband to come to her&mdash;"My dear," said she, "put down
+in your memorandum-book, that when American married ladies invite young
+ladies to parties, they on second thoughts forbid them to come, and that
+the said American young ladies boldly persist in coming in spite of the
+forbiddance."</p>
+
+<p>And she then related to him the whole affair, at full length, and with
+numerous embellishments, looking all the time at poor Albina.</p>
+
+<p>The story was soon circulated round the room in whispers and murmurs,
+and no one had candour or kindness to suggest the possibility of Miss
+Marsden's having never received the note.</p>
+
+<p>Albina soon perceived herself to be an object of remark and
+animadversion, and she was sadly at a loss to divine the cause. The two
+ladies that were nearest to her, rose up and left their seats, while two
+others edged their chairs farther off. She knew no one, she was
+introduced to no one, but she saw that every one was looking at her as
+she sat by herself, alone, conspicuous, and abashed. Tea was waiting for
+a lady that came always last, and the whole company seemed to have
+leisure to gaze on poor Albina, and to whisper about her.</p>
+
+<p>Her situation now became intolerable. She felt that there was nothing
+left for her but to go home. Unluckily she had ordered the carriage at
+eleven o'clock. At last she resolved on making a great effort, and on
+plea of a violent headache (a plea which by this time was literally
+true) to ask Mrs. Potts if she would allow a servant to bring a coach
+for her.</p>
+
+<p>After several attempts, she rose for this purpose; but she saw at the
+same moment that all eyes were turned upon her. She tremblingly, and
+with downcast looks, advanced till she got into the middle of the room,
+and then all her courage deserted her at once, when she heard some one
+say, "I wonder what she is going to do next."</p>
+
+<p>She stopped suddenly, and stood motionless, and she saw Miss Potts
+giggle, and heard her say to a school-girl near her, "I suppose she is
+going to speak a speech." She turned very pale, and felt as if she could
+gladly sink into the floor, when suddenly some one took her hand, and
+the voice of Bromley Cheston said to her, "Albina&mdash;Miss Marsden&mdash;I will
+conduct you wherever you wish to go"&mdash;and then, lowering his tone, he
+asked her, "Why this agitation&mdash;what has happened to distress you?"</p>
+
+<p>Cheston had just arrived from New York, having been detained on the way
+by an accident that happened to one of the boats, and finding that Mrs.
+Marsden was in town, and had that day sent several messages for him, he
+repaired immediately to her lodgings. He had intended declining the
+invitation of Mrs. Potts, but when he found that Albina had gone
+thither, he hastily changed his dress and went to the party. When he
+entered, what was his amazement to see her standing alone in the centre
+of the room, and the company whispering and gazing at her.</p>
+
+<p>Albina, on hearing the voice of a friend, the voice of Bromley Cheston,
+was completely overcome, and she covered her face and burst into tears.
+"Albina," said Cheston, "I will not now ask an explanation; I see that,
+whatever may have happened, you had best go home."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! most gladly, most thankfully," she exclaimed, in a voice almost
+inarticulate with sobs.</p>
+
+<p>Cheston drew her arm within his, and bowing to Mrs. Potts, he led Albina
+out of the apartment, and conducted her to the staircase, whence she
+went to the ladies' room to compose herself a little, and prepare for
+her departure.</p>
+
+<p>Cheston then sent one servant for a carriage, and another to tell Mr.
+Potts that he desired to speak with him in the hall. Potts came out with
+a pale, frightened face, and said&mdash;"Indeed, sir&mdash;indeed, I had nothing
+to do with it; ask the women. It was all them entirely. It was the
+women that laughed at Miss Albina, and whispered about her."</p>
+
+<p>"For what?" demanded the lieutenant. "I insist on knowing for what
+cause."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, sir," replied Potts, "she came here to my wife's party, after Mrs.
+Potts had sent a note desiring her to stay away; which was certainly an
+odd thing for a young lady to do."</p>
+
+<p>"There is some mistake," exclaimed Cheston; "I'll stake my life that she
+never saw the note. And now, for what reason did Mrs. Potts write such a
+note? How did she dare&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" replied Potts, stammering and hesitating, "women will have their
+notions; men are not half so particular about their company. Somehow,
+after Mrs. Potts had invited Miss Albina, she thought, on farther
+consideration, that poor Miss Albina was not quite genteel enough for
+her party. You know all the women now make a great point of being
+genteel. But, indeed, sir (observing the storm that was gathering on
+Cheston's brow), indeed, sir&mdash;<i>I</i> was not in the least to blame. It was
+altogether the fault of my wife."</p>
+
+<p>The indignation of the lieutenant was so highly excited, that nothing
+could have checked it but the recollection that Potts was in his own
+house. At this moment, Albina came down stairs, and Cheston took her
+hand and said to her: "Albina, did you receive a note from Mrs. Potts
+interdicting your presence at the party?"&mdash;"Oh! no, indeed!" exclaimed
+Albina, amazed at the question. "Surely she did not send me such a
+note."&mdash;"Yes she did, though," said Potts, quickly.&mdash;"Is it, then,
+necessary for me to say," said Albina, indignantly, "that, under those
+circumstances, nothing could have induced me to enter this house, now or
+ever! I saw or heard nothing of this note. And is this the reason that I
+have been treated so rudely&mdash;so cruelly&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Upon this, Mr. Potts made his escape, and Cheston, having put Albina
+into the carriage, desired the coachman to wait a few moments. He then
+returned to the drawing-room and approached Mrs. Potts, who was standing
+with half the company collected round her, and explaining with great
+volubility the whole history of Albina Marsden. On the appearance of
+Cheston, she stopped short, and all her auditors looked foolish.</p>
+
+<p>The young officer advanced into the centre of the circle, and, first
+addressing Mrs. Potts, he said to her&mdash;"In justice to Miss Marsden, I
+have returned, madam, to inform you that your note of interdiction, with
+which you have so kindly made all the company acquainted, was till this
+moment unknown to that young lady. But, even had she come wilfully, and
+in the full knowledge of your prohibition, no circumstances whatever
+could justify the rudeness with which I find she has been treated. I
+have now only to say that, if any gentleman presumes, either here or
+hereafter, to cast a reflection on the conduct of Miss Albina Marsden,
+in this or in any other instance, he must answer to me for the
+consequences. And if I find that any lady has invidiously misrepresented
+this occurrence, I shall insist on an atonement from her husband, her
+brother, or her admirer."</p>
+
+<p>He then bowed and departed, and the company looked still more foolish.</p>
+
+<p>"This lesson," thought Cheston, "will have the salutary effect of curing
+Albina of her predominant follies. She is a lovely girl, after all, and
+when withdrawn from the influence of her mother, will make a charming
+woman and an excellent wife."</p>
+
+<p>Before the carriage stopped at the residence of Mrs. Marsden, Cheston
+had made Albina an offer of his heart and hand, and the offer was not
+refused.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Marsden was scarcely surprised at the earliness of Albina's return
+from the party, for she had a secret misgiving that all was not right,
+that the suppression of the note would not eventuate well, and she
+bitterly regretted having done it. When her daughter related to her the
+story of the evening, Mrs. Marsden was overwhelmed with compunction;
+and, though Cheston was present, she could not refrain from
+acknowledging at once her culpability, for it certainly deserved no
+softer name. Cheston and Albina were shocked at this disclosure; but, in
+compassion to Mrs. Marsden, they forbore to add to her distress by a
+single comment. Cheston shortly after took his leave, saying to Albina
+as he departed, "I hope you are done for ever with Mrs. Washington
+Potts."</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, Cheston seriously but kindly expostulated with Albina and
+her mother on the folly and absurdity of sacrificing their comfort,
+their time, their money, and, indeed, their self-respect, to the paltry
+distinction of being capriciously noticed by a few vain, silly,
+heartless people, inferior to themselves in everything but in wealth and
+in a slight tincture of soi-disant fashion; and who, after all, only
+took them on or threw them off as it suited their own convenience.</p>
+
+<p>"What you say is very true, Bromley," replied Mrs. Marsden. "I begin to
+view these things in their proper light, and as Albina remarks, we ought
+to profit by this last lesson. To tell the exact truth, I have heard
+since I came to town that Mrs. Washington Potts is, after all, by no
+means in the first circle, and it is whispered that she and her husband
+are both of very low origin."</p>
+
+<p>"No matter for her circle or her origin," said Cheston, "in our country
+the only acknowledged distinction should be that which is denoted by
+superiority of mind and manners."</p>
+
+<p>Next day Lieutenant Cheston escorted Mrs. Marsden and Albina back to
+their own home&mdash;and a week afterwards he was sent unexpectedly on a
+cruise in the West Indies.</p>
+
+<p>He returned in the spring, and found Mrs. Marsden more rational than he
+had ever known her, and Albina highly improved by a judicious course of
+reading which he had marked out for her, and still more by her intimacy
+with a truly genteel, highly talented, and very amiable family from the
+eastward, who had recently bought a house in the village, and in whose
+society she often wondered at the infatuation which had led her to fancy
+such a woman as Mrs. Washington Potts, with whom, of course, she never
+had any farther communication.</p>
+
+<p>A recent and very large bequest to Bromley Cheston from a distant
+relation, made it no longer necessary that the young lieutenant should
+wait for promotion before he married Albina; and accordingly their union
+took place immediately on his return.</p>
+
+<p>Before the Montagues left Philadelphia to prosecute their journey to the
+south, there arrived an acquaintance of theirs from England, who
+injudiciously "told the secrets of his prison-house," and made known in
+whispers "not loud but deep," that Mr. Dudley Montague, of Normancourt
+Park, Hants, (alias Mr. John Wilkins, of Lamb's Conduit Street,
+Clerkenwell), had long been well-known in London as a reporter for a
+newspaper; that he had recently married a widow, the ci-devant governess
+of a Somers Town Boarding-school, who had drawn her ideas of fashionable
+life from the columns of the Morning Post, and who famished her pupils
+so much to her own profit that she had been able to retire on a sort of
+fortune. With the assistance of this fund, she and her daughter (the
+young lady was in reality the offspring of her mother's first marriage)
+had accompanied Mr. Wilkins across the Atlantic: all three assuming the
+lordly name of Montague, as one well calculated to strike the
+republicans with proper awe. The truth was, that for a suitable
+consideration proffered by a tory publisher, the <i>soi-disant</i> Mr.
+Montague had undertaken to add another octavo to the numerous volumes of
+gross misrepresentation and real ignorance that profess to contain an
+impartial account of the United States of America.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="MR_SMITH" id="MR_SMITH"></a>MR. SMITH.</h2>
+
+
+<p>Those of my readers who recollect the story of Mrs. Washington Potts,
+may not be sorry to learn that in less than two years after the marriage
+of Bromley Cheston and Albina, Mrs. Marsden was united to a southern
+planter of great wealth and respectability, with whom she had become
+acquainted during a summer excursion to Newport. Mrs. Selbourne (that
+being her new name) was now, as her letters denoted, completely in her
+element, presiding over a large establishment, mistress of twelve
+house-servants, and almost continually engaged in doing the honours of a
+spacious mansion to a round of company, or in complying with similar
+invitations from the leading people of a populous neighbourhood, or in
+reciprocating visits with the most fashionable inhabitants of the
+nearest city. Her only regret was that Mrs. Washington Potts could not
+"be there to see." But then as a set-off, Mrs. Selbourne rejoiced in the
+happy reflection, that a distance of several hundred miles placed a
+great gulf between herself and Aunt Quimby, from whose Vandal incursions
+she now felt a delightful sense of security. She was not, however, like
+most of her compatriots, a warm advocate for the universal diffusion of
+railroads; neither did she assent very cordially to the common remarks
+about this great invention, annihilating both time and space, and
+bringing "the north and the south, and the east and the west" into the
+same neighbourhood.</p>
+
+<p>Bromley Cheston, having succeeded to a handsome inheritance by the
+demise of an opulent relative, in addition to his house in Philadelphia,
+purchased as a summer residence that of his mother-in-law on the banks
+of the Delaware, greatly enlarging and improving it, and adding to its
+little domain some meadow and woodland; also a beautiful piece of
+ground which he converted into a green lawn sloping down towards the
+river, and bounded on one side by a shady road that led to a convenient
+landing-place.</p>
+
+<p>The happiness of Albina and her husband (who in the regular course of
+promotion became Captain Cheston) was much increased by the society of
+Bromley's sister Myrtilla, a beautiful, sprightly, and intelligent girl,
+whom they invited to live with them after the death of her maternal
+grandmother, an eastern lady, with whom she had resided since the loss
+of her parents, and who had left her a little fortune of thirty thousand
+dollars.</p>
+
+<p>Their winters were passed in Philadelphia, where Albina found herself
+quite at home in a circle far superior to that of Mrs. Washington Potts,
+who was one of the first to visit Mrs. Cheston on her marriage. This
+visit was of course received with civility, but returned by merely
+leaving a card at the door. No notice whatever was taken of Mrs. Potts's
+second call; neither was she ever invited to the house.</p>
+
+<p>When Cheston was not at sea, little was wanting to complete the perfect
+felicity of the family. It is true they were not entirely exempt from
+the occasional annoyances and petty vexations, inseparable from even the
+happiest state of human life; but these were only transient shadows,
+that, on passing away, generally served as topics of amusement, and
+caused them to wonder how trifles, diverting in the recollection, could
+have really so troubled them at the time of occurrence. Such, for
+instance, were the frequent visitations of Mrs. Quimby, who told them
+(after they had enlarged their villa, and bought a carriage and a
+tilbury), "Really, good people, now that things are all so genteel, and
+pleasant, and full-handed, I think I shall be apt to favour you with my
+company the greatest part of every summer. There's no danger of Billy
+Fairfowl and Mary being jealous. They always let me go and come just as
+I please; and if I was to stay away ten years, I do not believe they'd
+be the least affronted."</p>
+
+<p>As the old lady had intimated, her visits, instead of being "few and far
+between," were many and close together. It is said you may get used to
+anything, and therefore the Chestons <i>did not</i> sell off their property
+and fly the country on account of Aunt Quimby. Luckily she never brought
+with her any of the Fairfowl family, her son-in-law having sufficient
+tact to avoid on principle all visiting intercourse with people who
+were beyond his sphere: for, though certain of being kindly treated by
+the Chestons themselves, he apprehended that he and his would probably
+be looked down upon by persons whom they might chance to meet there.
+Mrs. Quimby, for her part, was totally obtuse to all sense of these
+distinctions.</p>
+
+<p>One Monday evening, on his return from town, Captain Cheston brought his
+wife and sister invitations to a projected picnic party, among the
+managers of which were two of his intimate friends. The company was to
+consist chiefly of ladies and gentlemen from the city. Their design was
+to assemble on the following Thursday, at some pleasant retreat on the
+banks of the Delaware, and to recreate themselves with an unceremonious
+<i>fête champêtre</i>. "I invited them," continued the captain, "to make use
+of my grounds for the purpose. We can find an excellent place for them
+in the woods by the river side. Delham and Lonsgrave will be here
+to-morrow, to reconnoitre the capabilities of the place."</p>
+
+<p>The ladies were delighted with the prospect of the picnic party; more
+especially on finding that most of the company were known to them.</p>
+
+<p>"It will be charming," said Albina, "to have them near us, and to be
+able to supply them with many conveniences from our own house. You may
+be assured, dear Bromley, that I shall liberally do my part towards
+contributing to the picnickery. You know that our culinary preparations
+never go wrong now that I have more experience, good servants, and above
+all plenty to do with."</p>
+
+<p>"How fortunate," said Myrtilla Cheston, "that Mrs. Quimby left us this
+morning. This last visit has been so long that I think she will scarcely
+favour us with another in less than two or three weeks. I hope she will
+not hear that the picnic is to be on our place."</p>
+
+<p>"There is no danger," replied Cheston; "Aunt Quimby cannot possibly know
+any of the persons concerned in it. And besides, I met her to-day in the
+street, and she told me that she was going to set out on Wednesday for
+Baltimore, to visit Billy Fairfowl's sister, Mrs. Bagnell: 'Also,' said
+she, 'it will take me from this time to that to pack my things, as I
+never before went so far from home, and I dare say, I shall stay in
+Baltimore all the rest of the fall; I don't believe when the Bagnells
+once have me with them, they'll let me come away much this side of
+winter.'"</p>
+
+<p>"I sincerely hope they will not!" exclaimed Albina; "I am so glad that
+Nancy Fairfowl has married a Baltimorean. I trust they will make their
+house so pleasant to Aunt Quimby, that she will transfer her favour from
+us to them. You know she often tells us that Nancy and herself are as
+like as two peas, both in looks and ways; and from her account, Johnny
+Bagnell must be a third pea, exactly resembling both of them."</p>
+
+<p>"And yet," observed Cheston, "people whose minds are of the same
+calibre, do not always assimilate as well as might be supposed. When
+<i>too</i> nearly alike, and too close to each other, they frequently rub
+together so as to grate exceedingly."</p>
+
+<p>We will pass over the intervening days by saying, that the preparations
+for the picnic party were duly and successfully made: the arrangement of
+the ground being undertaken by Captain Cheston, and Lieutenants Delham
+and Lonsgrave, and completed with the taste, neatness, and judicious
+arrangement, which always distinguishes such things when done by
+officers, whether of army or navy.</p>
+
+<p>The appointed Thursday arrived. It was a lovely day, early in September:
+the air being of that delightful and exhilarating temperature, that
+converts the mere sense of existence into pleasure. The heats of summer
+were over, and the sky had assumed its mildest tint of blue. All was
+calm and cool, and lovely, and the country seemed sleeping in luxurious
+repose. The grass, refreshed by the August rains, looked green as that
+of the "emerald isle;" and the forest trees had not yet begun to wear
+the brilliant colours of autumn, excepting here and there a maple whose
+foliage was already crimsoned. The orchards were loaded with fruit,
+glowing in ripeness; and the buckwheat fields, white with blossoms,
+perfumed the air with their honeyed fragrance. The rich flowers of the
+season were in full bloom. Birds of beautiful plumage still lingered in
+the woods, and were warbling their farewell notes previous to their
+return to a more southern latitude. The morning sunbeams danced and
+glittered on the blue waters of the broad and brimming Delaware, as the
+mirrored surface reflected its green and fertile banks with their
+flowery meadows, embowering groves, and modestly elegant villas.</p>
+
+<p>The ground allotted to the party was an open space in the woodlands,
+which ran along an elevated ridge, looking directly down on the noble
+river that from its far-off source in the Catskill mountains, first
+dividing Pennsylvania from New York and then from New Jersey, carries
+its tributary stream the distance of three hundred miles, till it widens
+into the dim and lonely bay whose last waves are blended with the
+dark-rolling Atlantic. Old trees of irregular and fantastic forms,
+leaning far over the water, grew on the extreme edge of this bank; and
+from its steep and crumbling side protruded their wildly twisted roots,
+fringed with long fibres that had been washed bare by the tide which
+daily overflowed the broad strip of gray sand, that margined the river.
+Part of an old fence, that had been broken down and carried away by the
+incursions of a spring freshet, still remained, at intervals, along the
+verge of the bank; and his ladies had prevailed on Captain Cheston not
+to repair it, as in its ruinous state it looked far more picturesque
+than if new and in good order. In clearing this part of the forest many
+of the largest and finest trees had been left standing, and beneath
+their shade seats were now dispersed for the company. In another part of
+the opening, a long table had been set under a sort of marquée,
+constructed of colours brought from the Navy Yard, and gracefully
+suspended to the wide-spreading branches of some noble oaks: the stars
+and stripes of the most brilliant flag in the world, blending in
+picturesque elegance with the green and clustering foliage. At a little
+distance, under a group of trees, whose original forms were hidden
+beneath impervious masses of the forest grape-vine, was placed a
+side-table for the reception of the provisions, as they were unpacked
+from the baskets; and a clear shady brook which wandered near, rippling
+over a bed of pebbles on its way down to the river, afforded an
+unlimited supply of "water clear as diamond spark," and made an
+excellent refrigerator for the wine bottles.</p>
+
+<p>Most of the company were to go up in the early boat: purposing to return
+in the evening by the railroad. Others, who preferred making their own
+time, were to come in carriages. As soon as the bell of the steamboat
+gave notice of her approach, Captain Cheston, with his wife and sister,
+accompanied by Lieutenants Delham and Lonsgrave, went down to the
+landing-place to receive the first division of the picnic party, which
+was chiefly of young people, all with smiling countenances, and looking
+as if they anticipated a very pleasant little fête. The Chestons were
+prepared to say with Seged of Ethiopia, "This day shall be a day of
+happiness"&mdash;but as the last of the gay procession stepped from the
+landing-board, Aunt Quimby brought up the rear.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! Bromley," said Mrs. Cheston, in a low voice, to her husband, "there
+is our most <i>mal-à-propos</i> of aunts&mdash;I thought she was a hundred miles
+off. This is really too bad&mdash;what shall we do with her? On this day,
+too, of all days&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"We can do nothing, but endeavour, as usual, to make the best of her,"
+replied the captain; "but where did she pick up that common-looking man,
+whom she seems to be hauling along with her?"</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Quimby now came up, and after the first greeting, Albina and
+Myrtilla endeavoured to withdraw from her the attention of the rest of
+the company, whom they conducted for the present to the house; but she
+seized upon the captain, to whom she introduced her companion by the
+appellation of Mr. Smith. The stranger looked embarrassed, and seemed as
+if he could scarcely presume to take the offered hand of Captain
+Cheston, and muttered something about trespassing on hospitality, but
+Aunt Quimby interrupted him with&mdash;"Oh! nonsense, now, Mr. Smith&mdash;where's
+the use of being so shame-faced, and making apologies for what can't be
+helped? I dare say my nephew and niece wonder quite as much at seeing
+<i>me</i> here, supposing that I'm safe and sound at Nancy Bagnell's, in
+Baltimore. But are you sure my baggage is all on the barrow? Just step
+back, and see if the big blue bandbox is safe, and the little yellow
+one; I should not wonder if the porter tosses them off, or crushes in
+the lids. All men seem to have a spite at bandboxes."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Smith meekly obeyed: and Aunt Quimby, taking the arm of Cheston,
+walked with him towards the house.</p>
+
+<p>"Tell me who this gentleman is," said Captain Cheston. "He cannot belong
+to any of the Smiths of 'Market, Arch, Race, and Vine, Chestnut, Walnut,
+Spruce, and Pine.'"</p>
+
+<p>"No," replied Mrs. Quimby, "nor to the Smiths of the cross-streets
+neither&mdash;nor to those up in the Northern Liberties, nor them down in
+Southwark. If you mean that he is not a Philadelphia man, you've hit the
+nail on the head&mdash;but that's no reason there shouldn't be Smiths enough
+all over the world. However, the short and the long of it is this&mdash;I was
+to have started for Baltimore yesterday morning, bright and early, with
+Mr. and Mrs. Neverwait&mdash;but the shoemaker had not sent home my
+over-shoes, and the dyer had not finished my gray Canton crape shawl,
+that he was doing a cinnamon brown, and the milliner disappointed me in
+new-lining my bonnet; so I could not possibly go, you know, and the
+Neverwaits went without me. Well, the things <i>were</i> brought home last
+night, which was like coming a day after the fair. But as I was all
+packed up, I was bent upon going, somehow or other, this morning. So I
+made Billy Fairfowl take me down to the wharf, bag and baggage, to see
+if he could find anybody he knew to take charge of me to Baltimore. And
+there, as good luck would have it, we met with Mr. Smith, who has been
+several times in Billy's store, and bought domestics of him, and got
+acquainted with him; so that Billy, finding this poor Mr. Smith was a
+stranger, and a man that took no airs, and that did not set up for great
+things, got very sociable with him, and even invited him to tea. Now,
+when we met him on the wharf, Mr. Smith was quite a windfall for us, and
+he agreed to escort me to Baltimore, as of course he must, when he was
+asked. So, then, Billy being in a hurry to go to market for breakfast
+(before all the pick of the butter was gone), just bade me good-bye, and
+left me on the wharf, seeing what good hands I was in. Now, poor Mr.
+Smith being a stranger, and, of course, not so well used to steamboats
+as our own people, took me into the wrong one; for the New York and
+Baltimore boats were laying side by side, and seemed both mixed
+together, so that it was hard telling which was which, the crowd hiding
+everything from us. And after we got on board, I was so busy talking,
+and he a listening, and looking at the people, that we never found out
+our mistake till we were half-way up the river, instead of being
+half-way down it. And then I heard the ladies all round talking of a nic
+or a pic (or both I believe they called it), that they said was to be
+held on Captain Cheston's grounds. So, then, I pricked up my ears, and
+found that it was even so; and I told them that Captain Cheston was a
+near relation of mine, for his wife was own daughter to Mrs. Marsden
+that was, whose first husband was my sister Nelly's own son; and all
+about your marrying Albina, and what a handsome place you have, and how
+Mr. Smith and I had got into the wrong boat, and were getting carried
+off, being taken up the river instead of down."</p>
+
+<p>"And what did the company say to all this?" inquired Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, I don't exactly remember, but they must have said something; for I
+know those that were nearest stopped their own talk when I began. And,
+after awhile, I went across to the other side of the boat, where Mr.
+Smith was leaning over the railing, and looking at the foam flying from
+the wheels, (as if it was something new), and I pulled his sleeve, and
+told him we were quite in luck to-day, for we should be at a party
+without intending it. And he made a sort of humming and hawing about
+intruding himself (as he called it) without an invitation. But I told
+him to leave all that to me&mdash;I'd engage to pass him through. And he
+talked something of betaking himself to the nearest hotel after we
+landed, and waiting for the next boat down the river. However, I would
+not listen to that; and I made him understand that any how there could
+be no Baltimore to-day, as it was quite too late to get there now by any
+contrivance at all; and that we could go down with the other company
+this evening by the railroad, and take a fresh start to-morrow morning.
+Still he seemed to hold back; and I told him that as to our going to the
+party, all things had turned up as if it <i>was</i> to be, and I should think
+it a sin to fling such good luck aside, when it was just ready to drop
+into our mouths, and that he might never have another chance of being in
+such genteel company as long as he lived. This last hint seemed to do
+the business, for he gave a sort of a pleased smile, and made no more
+objection. And then I put him in mind that the people that owned the
+ground were my own niece and nephew, who were always crazy to see me,
+and have me with them; and I could answer for it they'd be just as glad
+to see any of my acquaintance&mdash;and as to the eatables, I was sure <i>his</i>
+being there would not make a cent's worth of difference, for I was
+certain there'd be plenty, and oceans of plenty, and I told him only to
+go and look at the baskets of victuals that were going up in the boat;
+besides all that, I knew the Chestons would provide well, for they were
+never backward with anything."</p>
+
+<p>She now stopped to take breath, and Cheston inquired if her son-in-law
+knew nothing more of Mr. Smith than from merely seeing him in his store.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! yes; did not I tell you we had him to tea? You need not mention it
+to anybody&mdash;but (if the truth must be told) Mr. Smith is an Englishman.
+The poor man can't help that, you know: and I'm sure I should never have
+guessed it, for he neither looks English nor talks English. He is not a
+bit like that impudent Mr. Montague, who took slices out of Albina's big
+plum-cake hours before the company came, at that great party she gave
+for Mrs. Washington Potts."</p>
+
+<p>"Pshaw!" said Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, you may well pshaw at it. But after all, for my own part, I must
+say I enjoyed myself very much that evening. I had a great deal of
+pleasant talk. I was sorry, afterwards, that I did not stay down stairs
+to the last, to see if all the company took French leave like me. If
+they did, it must have been quite a pretty sight to see them go. By the
+bye (now I talk of French leave) did you hear that the Washington
+Pottses have broke all to pieces and gone off to France to live upon the
+money that he made over to his wife to keep it from his creditors?"</p>
+
+<p>"But, Mr. Smith&mdash;" resumed Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Bromley, what makes you so fidgety? Billy Fairfowl (though I say
+it that shouldn't say it) is not the man to ask people to tea unless he
+is sure they are pretty decent sort of folks. So he went first to the
+British Consul, and inquired about Mr. Smith, and described his look and
+dress just as he would a runaway 'prentice. And the Consul knew exactly
+who he meant, and told him he would answer for Mr. Smith's being a man
+of good character, and perfectly honest and respectable. And that, you
+know, is quite as much as need be said of anybody. So, then, we had him
+to tea, quite in a plain way; but he seemed very easily satisfied, and
+though there were huckleberries, and cucumbers, and dough-nuts, he did
+not eat a thing but bread and butter, and not much of that, and took no
+sugar in his tea, and only drank two cups. And Billy talked to him the
+whole evening about our factories, and our coal and iron: and he
+listened quite attentively, and seemed to understand very well, though
+he did not say much; and he kept awake all the time, which was very
+clever of him, and more than Billy is used to. He seems like a
+good-hearted man, for he saved little Jane from pulling the tea-waiter
+down upon her head, as she was coming out from under the table; and he
+ran and picked up Johnny, when he fell over the rockers of the big
+chair, and wiped the blood off his nose with his own clean handkerchief.
+I dare say he's a good soul; but he is very humble-minded, and seems so
+afraid of saying wrong that he hardly says anything. Here he comes,
+trudging along beside the porter; and I see he has got all the baggage
+safe, even the brown paper parcel and the calico bag. That's his own
+trunk, under all the rest."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Smith now came up, and inquired of Captain Cheston for the nearest
+inn, that he might remain there till a boat passed down for
+Philadelphia. "Why, Mr. Smith," interrupted Aunt Quimby, "where's the
+sense of being so backward? We ought to be thankful for our good luck
+in getting here on the very day of the picnic, even though we <i>did</i> come
+by mistake. And now you <i>are</i> here, it's all nonsense for you to run
+away, and go and mope by yourself at a country tavern. I suppose you are
+afraid you're not welcome; but I'll answer for you as well as myself."</p>
+
+<p>Civility to the stranger required that Captain Cheston should second
+Mrs. Quimby; and he did so in terms so polite that Mr. Smith was
+induced, with much diffidence, to remain.</p>
+
+<p>"Poor man!" said Aunt Quimby, in a low voice, to the captain, "between
+ourselves, it's plain enough that he is not much used to being among
+great people, and he's afraid of feeling like a fish out of water. He
+must have a very poor opinion of himself, for even at Billy Fairfowl's
+he did not seem quite at home; though we all tried to encourage him, and
+I told him myself, as soon as we sat down to the tea-table, to make just
+as free as if he was in his own house."</p>
+
+<p>Arrived at the mansion of the Chestons, Mrs. Quimby at first objected to
+changing her dress, which was a very rusty black silk, with a bonnet to
+match; declaring that she was sure nothing was expected of people who
+were on their travels, and that she saw no use in taking the trouble to
+unpack her baggage. She was, however, overruled by the representations
+of Albina, who offered to both unpack and re-pack for her. Accordingly
+she equipped herself in what she called her second-best suit. The gown
+was a thick rustling silk, of a very reddish brown, with a new inside
+kerchief of blue-tinted book muslin that had never been washed. Over her
+shoulders she pinned her Canton-crape shawl, whose brown tinge was
+entirely at variance with the shade of her gown. On her head was a stiff
+hard cap, trimmed with satin ribbon, of a still different brown colour,
+the ends of the bows sticking out horizontally, and scolloped into
+numerous points. She would not wear her best bonnet, lest it should be
+injured; and fortunately her worst was so small that she found, if she
+put it on, it would crush her second-best cap. She carried in one hand a
+stiff-starched handkerchief of imitation-cambric, which she considered
+too good to unfold; and with the other she held over her head a faded
+green parasol.</p>
+
+<p>Thus equipped, the old lady set out with Captain and Mrs. Cheston for
+the scene of the picnic; the rest of the party being a little in advance
+of them. They saw Mr. Smith strolling about the lawn, and Mrs. Quimby
+called to him to come and give his arm to her niece, saying, "There,
+Albina, take him under your wing, and try to make him sociable, while I
+walk on with your husband. Bromley, how well you look in your
+navy-regimentals. I declare I'm more and more in luck. It is not
+everybody that can have an officer always ready and willing to 'squire
+them"&mdash;And the old lady (like many young ladies) unconsciously put on a
+different face and a different walk, while escorted by a gentleman in
+uniform.</p>
+
+<p>"Bromley," continued Aunt Quimby, "I heard some of the picnic ladies in
+the boat saying that those which are to ride up are to bring a lion with
+them. This made me open my eyes, and put me all in quiver; so I could
+not help speaking out, and saying&mdash;I should make a real right down
+objection to his being let loose among the company, even if he was ever
+so tame. Then they laughed, and one of them said that a lion meant a
+great man; and asked me if I had never heard the term before. I answered
+that may be I had, but it must have slipped my memory; and that I
+thought it a great shame to speak of Christian people as if they were
+wild beasts."</p>
+
+<p>"And who is this great man?" inquired Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! he's a foreigner from beyond sea, and he is coming with some of the
+ladies in their own carriage&mdash;Baron Somebody"&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Baron Von Klingenberg," said Cheston, "I have heard of him."</p>
+
+<p>"That's the very name. It seems he is just come from Germany, and has
+taken rooms at one of the tip-top hotels, where he has a table all to
+himself. I wonder how any man can bear to eat his victuals sitting up
+all alone, with not a soul to speak a word with. I think I should die if
+I had no body to talk to. Well&mdash;they said that this Baron is a person of
+very high <i>tone</i>, which I suppose means that he has a very loud
+voice&mdash;and from what I could gather, it's fashionable for the young
+ladies to fall in love with him, and they think it an honour to get a
+bow from him in Chesnut street, and they take him all about with them.
+And they say he has in his own country a castle that stands on banks of
+rind, which seems a strange foundation. Dear me&mdash;now we've got to the
+picnic place&mdash;how gay and pretty everything looks, and what heaps of
+victuals there must be in all those baskets, and oceans of drinkables in
+all those bottles and demijohns. Mercy on me&mdash;I pity the
+dish-washers&mdash;when will they get through all the dirty plates! And I
+declare! how beautiful the flags look! fixed up over the table just
+like bed-curtains&mdash;I am glad you have plenty of chairs here, besides the
+benches.&mdash;And only see!&mdash;if here a'n't cakes and lemonade coming round."</p>
+
+<p>The old lady took her seat under one of the large trees, and entered
+unhesitatingly into whatever conversation was within her hearing;
+frequently calling away the Chestons to ask them questions or address to
+them remarks. The company generally divided into groups; some sat, some
+walked, some talked; and some, retreating farther into the woods, amused
+themselves and each other with singing, or playing forfeits. There was,
+as is usual in Philadelphia assemblages, a very large proportion of
+handsome young ladies; and all were dressed in that consistent,
+tasteful, and decorous manner which distinguishes the fair damsels of
+the city of Penn.</p>
+
+<p>In a short time Mrs. Quimby missed her protegée, and looking round for
+him she exclaimed&mdash;"Oh! if there is not Mr. Smith a sitting on a rail,
+just back of me, all the time. Do come down off the fence, Mr. Smith.
+You'll find a much pleasanter seat on this low stump behind me, than to
+stay perched up there. Myrtilla Cheston, my dear, come here&mdash;I want to
+speak to you."</p>
+
+<p>Miss Cheston had the amiability to approach promptly and cheerfully:
+though called away from an animated conversation with two officers of
+the navy, two of the army, and three young lawyers, who had all formed a
+semicircle round four of the most attractive belles: herself being the
+cynosure.</p>
+
+<p>"Myrtilla," said Aunt Quimby, in rather a low voice, "do take some
+account of this poor forlorn man that's sitting behind me. He's so very
+backward, and thinks himself such a mere nobody, that I dare say he
+feels bad enough at being here without an invitation, and all among
+strangers too&mdash;though I've told him over and over that he need not have
+the least fear of being welcome. There now&mdash;there's a good girl&mdash;go and
+spirit him up a little. You know you are at home here on your brother's
+own ground."</p>
+
+<p>"I scarcely know how to talk to an Englishman," replied Myrtilla, in a
+very low voice.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, can't you ask him, if he ever in his life saw so wide a river, and
+if he ever in his life saw such big trees, and if he don't think our sun
+a great deal brighter than his, and if he ever smelt buckwheat before?"</p>
+
+<p>Myrtilla turned towards Mr. Smith (and perceiving from his
+ill-suppressed smile that he had heard Mrs. Quimby's instructions) like
+Olivia in the play, she humoured the jest by literally following them,
+making a curtsy to the gentleman, and saying, "Mr. Smith, did you ever
+in your life see so wide a river? did you ever in your life see such big
+trees? don't you think our sun a great deal brighter than yours? and did
+you ever smell buckwheat before?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have not had that happiness," replied Mr. Smith with a simpering
+laugh, as he rose from the old stump, and, forgetting that it was not a
+chair, tried to hand it to Myrtilla. She bowed in acknowledgment, placed
+herself on the seat&mdash;and for awhile endeavoured to entertain Mr. Smith,
+as he stood leaning (not picturesquely) against a portion of the broken
+fence.</p>
+
+<p>In the mean time Mrs. Quimby continued to call on the attention of those
+around her. To some the old lady was a source of amusement, to others of
+disgust and annoyance. By this time they all understood who she was, and
+how she happened to be there. Fixing her eyes on a very dignified and
+fashionable looking young lady, whom she had heard addressed as Miss
+Lybrand, and (who with several others) was sitting nearly opposite,
+"Pray, Miss," said Aunt Quimby, "was your grandfather's name Moses?"</p>
+
+<p>"It was," replied the young lady.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! then you must be a granddaughter of old Moses Lybrand, who kept a
+livery stable up in Race street; and his son Aaron always used to drive
+the best carriage, after the old man was past doing it himself. Is your
+father's name Aaron?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, madam," said Miss Lybrand&mdash;looking very red&mdash;"My father's name is
+Richard."</p>
+
+<p>"Richard&mdash;he must have been one of the second wife's children. Oh! I
+remember seeing him about when he was a little boy. He had a curly head,
+and on week days generally wore a gray jacket and corduroy trowsers; but
+he had a nice bottle-green suit for Sunday. Yes, yes&mdash;they went to our
+church, and sat up in the gallery. And he was your father, was he? Then
+Aaron must have been your own uncle. He was a very careful driver for a
+young man. He learnt of his father. I remember just after we were first
+married, Mr. Quimby hiring Moses Lybrand's best carriage to take me and
+my bridesmaids and groomsmen on a trip to Germantown. It was a yellow
+coachee with red curtains, and held us all very well with close packing.
+In those days people like us took their wedding rides to Germantown and
+Frankford and Darby, and ordered a dinner at a tavern with custards and
+whips, and came home in the evening. And the high-flyers, when <i>they</i>
+got married, went as far as Chester or Dunks's Ferry. They did not then
+start off from the church door and scour the roads all the way to
+Niagara just because they were brides and grooms; as if that was any
+reason for flying their homes directly. But pray what has become of your
+uncle Aaron?"</p>
+
+<p>"I do not know," said the young lady, looking much displeased; "I never
+heard of him."</p>
+
+<p>"But did not you tell me your grandfather's name was Moses?"</p>
+
+<p>"There may have been other Moses Lybrands."</p>
+
+<p>"Was not he a short pockmarked man, that walked a little lame, with
+something of a cast in his right eye: or, I won't be positive, may be it
+was in the left?"</p>
+
+<p>"I am very sure papa's father was no such looking person," replied Miss
+Lybrand, "but I never saw him&mdash;he died before I was born&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Poor old man," resumed Mrs. Quimby, "if I remember right, Moses became
+childish many years before his death."</p>
+
+<p>Miss Lybrand then rose hastily, and proposed to her immediate companions
+a walk farther into the woods; and Myrtilla, leaving the vicinity of Mr.
+Smith, came forward and joined them: her friends making a private signal
+to her not to invite the aforesaid gentleman to accompany them.</p>
+
+<p>Aunt Quimby saw them depart, and looking round said&mdash;"Why, Mr.
+Smith&mdash;have the girls given you the slip? But to be sure, they meant you
+to follow them!"</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Smith signified that he had not courage to do so without an
+invitation, and that he feared he had already been tiring Miss Cheston.</p>
+
+<p>"Pho, pho," said Mrs. Quimby, "you are quite too humble. Pluck up a
+little spirit, and run after the girls."</p>
+
+<p>"I believe," replied he, "I cannot take such a liberty."</p>
+
+<p>"Then I'll call Captain Cheston to introduce you to some more gentlemen.
+Here&mdash;Bromley&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"No&mdash;no," said Mr. Smith, stopping her apprehensively; "I would rather
+not intrude any farther upon his kindness."</p>
+
+<p>"I declare you are the shame-facedest man I ever saw in my life. Well,
+then, you can walk about, and look at the trees and bushes. There's a
+fine large buttonwood, and there's a sassafras; or you can go to the
+edge of the bank and look at the river and watch how the tide goes down
+and leaves the splatter-docks standing in the mud. See how thick they
+are at low water&mdash;I wonder if you couldn't count them. And may be
+you'll see a wood-shallop pass along, or may be a coal-barge. And who
+knows but a sturgeon may jump out of the water, and turn head over heels
+and back again&mdash;it's quite a handsome sight!"</p>
+
+<p>Good Mr. Smith did as he was bidden, and walked about and looked at
+things, and probably counted the splatter-docks, and perhaps saw a fish
+jump.</p>
+
+<p>"It's all bashfulness&mdash;nothing in the world but bashfulness," pursued
+Mrs. Quimby; "that's the only reason Mr. Smith don't talk."</p>
+
+<p>"For my part," said a very elegant looking girl, "I am perfectly willing
+to impute the taciturnity of Mr. Smith (and that of all other silent
+people) to modesty. But yet I must say, that as far as I have had
+opportunities of observing, most men above the age of twenty have
+sufficient courage to talk, if they know what to say. When the head is
+well furnished with ideas, the tongue cannot habitually refrain from
+giving them utterance."</p>
+
+<p>"That's a very good observation," said Mrs. Quimby, "and suits <i>me</i>
+exactly. But as to Mr. Smith, I do believe it's all bashfulness with
+him. Between ourselves (though the British consul warrants him
+respectable) I doubt whether he was ever in such genteel society before;
+and may be he thinks it his duty to listen and not to talk, poor man.
+But then he ought to know, that in our country he need not be afraid of
+nobody: and that here all people are equal, and one is as good as
+another."</p>
+
+<p>"Not exactly," said the young lady, "we have in America, as in Europe,
+numerous gradations of mind, manners, and character. Politically we are
+equal, as far as regards the rights of citizens and the protection of
+the laws; and also we have no privileged orders. But individually it is
+difficult for the refined and the vulgar, the learned and the ignorant,
+the virtuous and the vicious to associate familiarly and
+indiscriminately, even in a republic."</p>
+
+<p>The old lady looked mystified for a few moments, and then proceeded&mdash;"As
+you say, people's different. We can't be hail fellow well met, with Tom,
+Dick, and Harry&mdash;but for my part I think myself as good as anybody!"</p>
+
+<p>No one contradicted this opinion, and just then a gentleman came up and
+said to the young lady&mdash;"Miss Atwood, allow me to present you with a
+sprig of the last wild roses of the season. I found a few still
+lingering on a bush in a shady lane just above."</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"'I bid their blossoms in my bonnet wave,'"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>said Miss Atwood&mdash;inserting them amid one of the riband bows.</p>
+
+<p>"Atwood&mdash;Atwood," said Aunt Quimby, "I know the name very well. Is not
+your father Charles Atwood, who used to keep a large wholesale store in
+Front street?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have the happiness of being that gentleman's daughter," replied the
+young lady.</p>
+
+<p>"And you live up Chestnut now, don't you&mdash;among the fashionables?"</p>
+
+<p>"My father's house <i>is</i> up Chestnut street."</p>
+
+<p>"Your mother was a Ross, wasn't she?"</p>
+
+<p>"Her maiden name <i>was</i> Ross."</p>
+
+<p>"I thought so," proceeded Mrs. Quimby; "I remember your father very
+well. He was the son of Tommy Atwood, who kept an ironmonger's shop down
+Second street by the New Market. Your grandfather was a very obliging
+man, rather fat. I have often been in his store, when we lived down that
+way. I remember once of buying a waffle-iron of him, and when I tried it
+and found it did not make a pretty pattern on the waffles, I took it
+back to him to change it: but having no other pattern, he returned me
+the money as soon as I asked him. And another time, he had the kitchen
+tongs mended for me without charging a cent, when I put him in mind that
+I had bought them there; which was certainly very genteel of him. And no
+wonder he made a fortune; as all people do that are obliging to their
+customers, and properly thankful to them. Your grandfather had a
+brother, Jemmy Atwood, who kept a china shop up Third street. He was
+your great-uncle, and he married Sally Dickison, whose father, old Adam
+Dickison, was in the shoemaking line, and died rich. I have heard Mr.
+Quimby tell all about them. He knew all the family quite well, and he
+once had a sort of notion of Sally Dickison himself, before he got
+acquainted with me. Old Adam Dickison was a very good man, but he and
+his wife were rather too fond of family names. He called one of his
+daughters Sarah, after his mother, and another Sarah, after his wife;
+for he said 'there couldn't be too many Sally Dickisons.' But they found
+afterwards they could not get along without tacking Ann to one of the
+Sarahs, and Jane to the other. Then they had a little girl whom they
+called Debby, after some aunt Deborah. But little Debby died, and next
+they had a boy; yet rather than the name should be lost, they christened
+him Debbius. I wish I could remember whether Debbius was called after
+the little Debby or the big one. Sometimes I think it was one and
+sometimes t'other&mdash;I dare say Miss Atwood, you can tell, as you belong
+to the family?"</p>
+
+<p>"I am glad that I can set this question at rest," replied Miss Atwood,
+smiling heroically; "I have heard the circumstance mentioned when my
+father has spoken of his great-uncle Jemmy, the chinaman, and of the
+shoemaker's family into which uncle Jemmy married, and in which were the
+two Sallys. Debbius was called equally after his sister and his aunt."</p>
+
+<p>Then turning to the very handsome and <i>distingué</i>-looking young
+gentleman who had brought her the flowers, and who had seemed much
+amused at the foregoing dialogue, Miss Atwood took his hand, and said to
+Aunt Quimby: "Let me present to you a grandson of that very Debbius, Mr.
+Edward Symmington, my sort of cousin; and son of Mr. Symmington, the
+lawyer, who chanced to marry Debbius's daughter."</p>
+
+<p>Young Symmington laughed, and, after telling Miss Atwood that she did
+everything with a good grace, he proposed that they should join some of
+their friends who were amusing themselves further up in the woods. Miss
+Atwood took his arm, and, bowing to Mrs. Quimby, they departed.</p>
+
+<p>"That's a very pleasant young lady," said she; "I am glad I've got
+acquainted with her. She's very much like her grandfather, the
+ironmonger; her nose is the very image of old Benny's."</p>
+
+<p>Fearing that <i>their</i> turn might come next, all the young people now
+dispersed from the vicinity of Aunt Quimby, who, accosting a housewifely
+lady that had volunteered to superintend the arrangements of the table,
+proposed going with her to see the baskets unpacked.</p>
+
+<p>The remainder of the morning passed pleasantly away; and about noon,
+Myrtilla Cheston and her companions, returning from their ramble, gave
+notice that the carriages from town were approaching. Shortly after,
+there appeared at the entrance of the wood, several vehicles filled with
+ladies and gentlemen, who had preferred this mode of conveyance to
+coming up in the early boat. Most of the company went to meet them,
+being curious to see exactly who alighted.</p>
+
+<p>When the last carriage drew up, there was a buzz all round: "There is
+the Baron! there is the Baron Von Klingenberg; as usual, with Mrs. Blake
+Bentley and her daughters!"</p>
+
+<p>After the new arrivals had been conducted by the Chestons to the house,
+and adjusted their dresses, they were shown into what was considered the
+drawing-room part of the woods, and accommodated with seats. But it was
+very evident that Mrs. Blake Bentley's party were desirous of keeping
+chiefly to themselves, talking very loudly to each other, and seemingly
+resolved to attract the attention of every one round.</p>
+
+<p>"Bromley," said Mrs. Quimby, having called Captain Cheston to her, "is
+that a baron?"</p>
+
+<p>"That is the Baron Von Klingenberg."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, between ourselves, he's about as ugly a man as ever I laid my
+eyes on. At least, he looks so at that distance; a clumsy fellow, with
+high shoulders and a round back, and his face all over hair, and as
+bandy as he can be, besides; and he's not a bit young, neither."</p>
+
+<p>"Barons never seem to me young," said Miss Turretville, a young lady of
+the romantic school, "but Counts always do."</p>
+
+<p>"I declare even Mr. Smith is better looking," pursued Aunt Quimby,
+fixing her eyes on the baron; "don't you think so, Miss?"</p>
+
+<p>"I think nothing about him," replied the fair Turretville.</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Smith," said Myrtilla, "perhaps is not actually ugly, and, if
+properly dressed, might look tolerably; but he is too meek and too weak.
+I wasted much time in trying to entertain him, as I sat under the tree;
+but he only looked down and simpered, and scarcely ventured a word in
+reply. One thing is certain, I shall take no further account of him."</p>
+
+<p>"Now, Myrtilla, it's a shame, to set your face against the poor man in
+this way. I dare say he is very good."</p>
+
+<p>"That is always said of stupid people."</p>
+
+<p>"No doubt it would brighten him wonderfully, if you were to dance with
+him when the ball begins."</p>
+
+<p>"Dance!" said Myrtilla, "dance with <i>him</i>. Do you suppose he knows
+either a step or a figure? No, no! I shall take care never to exhibit
+myself as Mr. Smith's partner, and I beg of you, Aunt Quimby, on no
+account to hint such a thing to him. Besides, I am already engaged three
+sets deep," and she ran away, on seeing that Mr. Smith was approaching.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Mr. Smith," said the old lady, "have you been looking at the
+shows of the place? And now the greatest show of all has arrived&mdash;the
+Baron of Clinkanbeg. Have you seen him?"</p>
+
+<p>"I believe I have," replied Mr. Smith.</p>
+
+<p>"You wander about like a lost sheep, Mr. Smith," said Aunt Quimby,
+protectingly, "and look as if you had not a word to throw at a dog; so
+sit down and talk to <i>me</i>. There's a dead log for you. And now you
+shan't stir another step till dinner-time." Mr. Smith seated himself on
+the dead log, and Mrs. Quimby proceeded: "I wish, though, we could find
+places a little nearer to the baron and his ladies, and hear them talk.
+Till to-day, I never heard a nobleman speak in my life, having had no
+chance. But, after all, I dare say they have voices much like other
+people. Did you ever happen to hear any of them talk, when you lived in
+England?"</p>
+
+<p>"Once or twice, I believe," said Mr. Smith.</p>
+
+<p>"Of course&mdash;excuse me, Mr. Smith&mdash;but, of course, they didn't speak to
+<i>you</i>?"</p>
+
+<p>"If I recollect rightly, they chanced to have occasion to do so."</p>
+
+<p>"On business, I suppose. Do noblemen go to shops themselves and buy
+their own things? Mr. Smith, just please to tell me what line you are
+in."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Smith looked very red, and cast down his eyes. "I am in the tin
+line," said he, after a pause.</p>
+
+<p>"The tin line! Well, never mind; though, to be sure, I did not expect
+you were a tinner. Perhaps you do a little also in the japan way?"</p>
+
+<p>"No," replied Mr. Smith, magnanimously, "I deal in nothing but tin,
+plain tin!"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, if you think of opening a shop in Philadelphia, I am pretty sure
+Billy Fairfowl will give you his custom; and I'll try to get Mrs.
+Pattypan and Mrs. Kettleworth to buy all their tins of you."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Smith bowed his head in thankfulness.</p>
+
+<p>"One thing I'm sure of," continued Aunt Quimby, "you'll never be the
+least above your business. And, I dare say, after you get used to our
+American ways, and a little more acquainted with our people, you'll be
+able to take courage and hold up your head, and look about quite pert."</p>
+
+<p>Poor Mr. Smith covered his face with his hands and shook his head, as if
+repelling the possibility of his ever looking pert.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron Von Klingenberg and his party were all on chairs, and formed
+an impervious group. Mrs. Blake Bentley sat on one side of him, her
+eldest daughter on the other, the second and third Miss Bentleys
+directly in front, and the fourth, a young lady of eighteen, who
+affected infantine simplicity and passed for a child, seated herself
+innocently on the grass at the baron's feet. Mrs. Bentley was what some
+call a fine-looking woman, being rather on a large scale, with fierce
+black eyes, a somewhat acquiline nose, a set of very white teeth (from
+the last new dentist), very red cheeks, and a profusion of dark
+ringlets. Her dress, and that of her daughters, was always of the most
+costly description, their whole costume being made and arranged in an
+ultra fashionable manner. Around the Bentley party was a circle of
+listeners, and admirers, and enviers; and behind that circle was another
+and another. Into the outworks of the last, Aunt Quimby pushed her way,
+leading, or rather pulling, the helpless Mr. Smith along with her.</p>
+
+<p>The Baron Von Klingenberg (to do him justice) spoke our language with
+great facility, his foreign accent being so slight that many thought
+they could not perceive it at all. Looking over the heads of the ladies
+immediately around him, he levelled his opera-glass at all who were
+within his view, occasionally inquiring about them of Mrs. Blake
+Bentley, who also could not see without her glass. She told him the
+names of those whom she considered the most fashionable, adding,
+confidentially, a disparaging remark upon each. Of a large proportion of
+the company, she affected, however, to know nothing, replying to the
+baron's questions with: "Oh! I really cannot tell you. They are people
+whom one does not know&mdash;very respectable, no doubt; but not the sort of
+persons one meets in society. You must be aware that on these occasions
+the company is always more or less mixed, for which reason I generally
+bring my own party along with me."</p>
+
+<p>"This assemblage," said the baron, "somewhat reminds me of the annual
+<i>fêtes</i> I give to my serfs in the park that surrounds my castle, at the
+cataract of the Rhine."</p>
+
+<p>Miss Turretville had just come up, leaning on the arm of Myrtilla
+Cheston. "Let us try to get nearer to the baron," said she; "he is
+talking about castles. Oh! I am so glad that I have been introduced to
+him. I met him the other evening at Mrs. De Mingle's select party, and
+he took my fan out of my hand and fanned himself with it. There is
+certainly an elegant ease about European gentlemen that our Americans
+can never acquire."</p>
+
+<p>"Where is the ease and elegance of Mr. Smith?" thought Myrtilla, as she
+looked over at that forlorn individual shrinking behind Aunt Quimby.</p>
+
+<p>"As I was saying," pursued the baron, lolling back in his chair and
+applying to his nose Mrs. Bentley's magnificent essence-bottle, "when I
+give these <i>fêtes</i> to my serfs, I regale them with Westphalia hams from
+my own hunting-grounds, and with hock from my own vineyards."</p>
+
+<p>"Dear me! ham and hock!" ejaculated Mrs. Quimby.</p>
+
+<p>"Baron," said Miss Turretville, "I suppose you have visited the Hartz
+mountains?"</p>
+
+<p>"My castle stands on one of them."</p>
+
+<p>"Charming! Then you have seen the Brocken?"</p>
+
+<p>"It is directly in front of my ramparts."</p>
+
+<p>"How delightful! Do you never imagine that on a stormy night you hear
+the witches riding through the air, to hold their revels on the Brocken?
+Are there still brigands in the Black Forest?"</p>
+
+<p>"Troops of them. The Black Forest is just back of my own woods. The
+robbers were once so audacious as to attack my castle, and we had a
+bloody fight. But we at length succeeded in taking all that were left
+alive."</p>
+
+<p>"What a pity! Was their captain anything like Charles de Moor?"</p>
+
+<p>"Just such a man."</p>
+
+<p>"Baron," observed Myrtilla, a little mischievously, "the situation of
+your castle must be <i>unique</i>; in the midst of the Hartz mountains, at
+the falls of the Rhine, with the Brocken in front, and the Black Forest
+behind."</p>
+
+<p>"You doat on the place, don't you?" asked Miss Turretville. "Do you live
+there always?"</p>
+
+<p>"No; only in the hunting season. I am equally at home in all the
+capitals of the continent. I might, perhaps, be chiefly at my native
+place, Vienna, only my friend, the emperor, is never happy but when I am
+with him; and his devotion to me is rather overwhelming. The truth is,
+one gets surfeited with courts, and kings, and princes; so I thought it
+would be quite refreshing to take a trip to America, having great
+curiosity to see what sort of a place it is. I recollect, at the last
+court ball, the emperor was teazing me to waltz with his cousin, the
+Archduchess of Hesse Hoblingen, who, he feared, would be offended if I
+neglected her. But her serene highness dances as if she had a
+cannon-ball chained to each foot, and so I got off by flatly telling my
+friend the emperor that if women chose to go to balls in velvet and
+ermine, and with coronets on their heads, they might get princes or some
+such people to dance with them; as for my part, it was rather
+excruciating to whirl about with persons in heavy royal robes!"</p>
+
+<p>"Is it possible!" exclaimed Miss Turretville, "did you venture to talk
+so to an emperor? Of course before next day you were loaded with chains
+and immured in a dungeon; from which I suppose you escaped by a
+subterranean passage."</p>
+
+<p>"Not at all; my old crony the emperor knows his man; so he only laughed
+and slapped me on the shoulder, and I took his arm, and we sauntered off
+together to the other end of the grand saloon. I think I was in my
+hussar uniform; I recollect that evening I broke my quizzing glass, and
+had to borrow the Princess of Saxe Blinkenberg's."</p>
+
+<p>"Was it very elegant&mdash;set round with diamonds?" asked Miss Matilda
+Bentley, putting up to her face a hand on which glittered a valuable
+brilliant.</p>
+
+<p>"Quite likely it was, but I never look at diamonds; one gets so tired of
+them. I have not worn any of mine these seven years; I often joke with
+my friend Prince Esterhazy about his diamond coat, that he <i>will</i>
+persist in wearing on great occasions. Its glitter really incommodes my
+eyes when he happens to be near me, as he generally is. Whenever he
+moves you may track him by the gems that drop from it, and you may hear
+him far off by their continual tinkling as they fall."</p>
+
+<p>"Only listen to that, Mr. Smith," said Aunt Quimby aside to her
+protegée, "I do not believe there is such a man in the world as that
+Hester Hazy with his diamond coat, that he's telling all this rigmarole
+about. It sounds like one of Mother Bunch's tales."</p>
+
+<p>"I rather think there is such a man," said Mr. Smith.</p>
+
+<p>"Nonsense, Mr. Smith, why you're a greater goose than I supposed!"</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Smith assented by a meek bow.</p>
+
+<p>Dinner was now announced. The gentlemen conducted the ladies, and Aunt
+Quimby led Mr. Smith; but she could not prevail on him to take a seat
+beside her, near the head of the table, and directly opposite to the
+Baron and his party. He humbly insisted on finding a place for himself
+very low down, and seemed glad to get into the neighbourhood of Captain
+Cheston, who presided at the foot.</p>
+
+<p>The Blake Bentley party all levelled their glasses at Aunt Quimby; but
+the old lady stood fire amazingly well, being busily engaged in
+preparing her silk gown against the chance of injury from any possible
+accident, tucking a napkin into her belt, pinning a pocket handkerchief
+across the body of her dress, turning up her cuffs, and tying back the
+strings of her cap to save the ribbon from grease-spots.</p>
+
+<p>The dinner was profuse, excellent, and handsomely arranged: and for a
+while most of the company were too earnestly occupied in satisfying
+their appetites to engage much in conversation. Aunt Quimby sent a
+waiter to Captain Cheston to desire him to take care of poor Mr. Smith:
+which message the waiter thought it unnecessary to deliver.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Blake Bentley and her daughter Matilda sat one on each side of the
+Baron, and showed rather more assiduity in helping him than is customary
+from ladies to gentlemen. Also their solicitude in anticipating his
+wants was a work of super-erogation, for the Baron could evidently take
+excellent care of himself, and was unremitting in his applications to
+every one round him for everything within their reach, and loud and
+incessant in his calls to the waiters for clean plates and clean
+glasses.</p>
+
+<p>When the dessert was set on, and the flow of soul was succeeding to the
+feast which, whether of reason or not, had been duly honoured, Mrs.
+Quimby found leisure to look round, and resume her colloquy.</p>
+
+<p>"I believe, madam, your name is Bentley," said she to the lofty looking
+personage directly opposite.</p>
+
+<p>"I am Mrs. Blake Bentley," was the reply, with an imperious stare that
+was intended to frown down all further attempts at conversation. But
+Aunt Quimby did not comprehend repulsion, and had never been silenced in
+her life&mdash;so she proceeded&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"I remember your husband very well. He was a son of old Benny Bentley up
+Second street, that used to keep the sign of the Adam and Eve, but
+afterwards changed it to the Liberty Tree. His wife was a Blake&mdash;that
+was the way your husband came by his name. Her father was an
+upholsterer, and she worked at the trade before she was married. She
+made two bolsters and three pillows for me at different times; though
+I'm not quite sure it was not two pillows and three bolsters. He had a
+brother, Billy Blake, that was a painter: so he must have been your
+husband's uncle."</p>
+
+<p>"Excuse me," said Mrs. Blake Bentley, "I don't understand what you are
+talking about. But I'm very sure there were never any artist people in
+the family."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! Billy Blake was a painter and glazier both," resumed Mrs. Quimby;
+"I remember him as well as if he was my own brother. We always sent for
+him to mend our broken windows. I can see him now&mdash;coming with his glass
+box and his putty. Poor fellow, he was employed to put a new coat of
+paint on Christ Church steeple, which we thought would be a good job for
+him: but the scaffold gave way and he fell down and broke his leg. We
+lived right opposite, and saw him tumble. It's a mercy he wasn't killed
+right out. He was carried home on a hand-barrow. I remember the
+afternoon as well as if it were yesterday. We had a pot-pie for dinner
+that day; and I happened to have on a new calico gown, a green ground
+with a yellow sprig in it. I have some of the pieces now in patch-work."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Blake Bentley gave Mrs. Quimby a look of unqualified disdain, and
+then turning to the baron, whispered him to say something that might
+stop the mouth of that abominable old woman. And by way of beginning she
+observed aloud, "Baron, what very fine plums these are!"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," said the baron, helping himself to them profusely, "and apropos
+to plums&mdash;one day when I happened to be dining with the king of Prussia,
+there were some very fine peaches at table (we were sitting, you know,
+trifling, over the dessert), and the king said to me, 'Klingenberg, my
+dear fellow, let's try which of us can first break that large
+looking-glass by shooting a peach-stone at it.'"</p>
+
+<p>"Dear me! what a king!" interrupted Mrs. Quimby, "and now I look at you
+again, sir (there, just now, with your head turned to the light),
+there's something in your face that puts me in mind of Jacob Stimbel,
+our Dutch young man that used to live with us and help to do the work.
+Mr. Quimby bought him at the wharf out of a redemptioner ship. He was to
+serve us three years: but before his time was up be ran away (as they
+often do) and went to Lancaster, and set up his old trade of a
+carpenter, and married a bricklayer's daughter, and got rich and built
+houses, and had three or four sons&mdash;I think I heard that one of them
+turned out a pretty bad fellow. I can see Jake Stimbel now, carrying the
+market-basket after me, or scrubbing the pavement. Whenever I look at
+you I think of him; may be he was some relation of yours, as you both
+came from Germany?"</p>
+
+<p>"A relation of mine, madam!" said the Baron.</p>
+
+<p>"There now&mdash;there's Jake Stimbel to the life. He had just that way of
+stretching up his eyes and drawing down his mouth when he did not know
+what to say, which was usually the case after he stayed on errands."</p>
+
+<p>The baron contracted his brows, and bit in his lips.</p>
+
+<p>"Fix your face as you will," continued Mrs. Quimby, "you are as like him
+as you can look. I am sure I ought to remember Jacob Stimbel, for I had
+all the trouble of teaching him to do his work, besides learning him to
+talk American; and as soon as he had learnt, he cleared himself off, as
+I told you, and ran away from us."</p>
+
+<p>The baron now turned to Matilda Bentley, and endeavoured to engage her
+attention by an earnest conversation in an under tone; and Mrs. Bentley
+looked daggers at Aunt Quimby, who said in a low voice to a lady that
+sat next to her, "What a pity Mrs. Bentley has such a violent way with
+her eyes. She'd be a handsome woman if it was not for that."</p>
+
+<p>Then resuming her former tone, the impenetrable old lady continued,
+"Some of these Dutch people that came over German redemptioners, and
+were sold out of ships, have made great fortunes." And then turning to a
+lady who sat on the other side, she proceeded to enumerate various
+wealthy and respectable German families whose grandfathers and
+grandmothers had been sold out of ships. Bromley Cheston, perceiving
+that several of the company were wincing under this infliction, proposed
+a song from one of the young officers whom he knew to be an accomplished
+vocalist. This song was succeeded by several others, and during the
+singing the Blake Bentley party gradually slipped away from the table.</p>
+
+<p>After dinner the company withdrew and dispersed themselves among the
+trees, while the servants, &amp;c., were dining. Mrs. Cheston vainly did her
+utmost to prevail on Aunt Quimby to go to the house and take a <i>siesta</i>.
+"What for?" said Mrs. Quimby, "why should I go to sleep when I ain't a
+bit sleepy. I never was wider awake in my life. No, no&mdash;these parties
+don't come every day; and I'll make the most of this now I have had the
+good luck to be at it. But, bless me! now I think of it, I have not laid
+eyes on Mr. Smith these two hours&mdash;I hope he is not lost. When did he
+leave the table? Who saw him go? He's not used to being in the woods,
+poor man!"</p>
+
+<p>The sound of the tambourine now denoted the approach of the musicians,
+and the company adjourned to the dancing ground, which was a wide
+opening in the woods shaded all round with fine trees, under which
+benches had been placed. For the orchestra a little wooden gallery had
+been erected about eight feet from the ground, running round the trunk
+and amid the spreading boughs of an immense hickory.</p>
+
+<p>The dancers had just taken their places for the first set, when they
+were startled by the shrieks of a woman, which seemed to ascend from the
+river-beach below. The gentlemen and many of the ladies ran to the edge
+of the bank to ascertain the cause, and Aunt Quimby, looking down among
+the first, exclaimed, "Oh! mercy! if there isn't Mr. Smith a collaring
+the baron, and Miss Matilda a screaming for dear life!"</p>
+
+<p>"The baron collaring Mr. Smith, you mean," said Myrtilla, approaching
+the bank.</p>
+
+<p>"No, no&mdash;I mean as I say. Why who'd think it was in Mr. Smith to do such
+a thing! Oh! see, only look how he shakes him. And now he gives him a
+kick, only think of doing all that to a baron! but I dare say he
+deserves it. He looks more like Jake Stimbel than ever."</p>
+
+<p>Captain Cheston sprung down the bank (most of the other gentlemen
+running after him), and immediately reaching the scene of action rescued
+the foreigner, who seemed too frightened to oppose any effectual
+resistance to his assailant.</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Smith," said Captain Cheston, "what is the meaning of this
+outrage,&mdash;and in the presence of a lady, too!"</p>
+
+<p>"The lady must excuse me," replied Mr. Smith, "for it is in her behalf I
+have thus forgotten myself so far as to chastise on the spot a
+contemptible villain. Let us convey Miss Bentley up the bank, for she
+seems greatly agitated, and I will then explain to the gentlemen the
+extraordinary scene they have just witnessed."</p>
+
+<p>"Only hear Mr. Smith, how he's talking out!" exclaimed Aunt Quimby. "And
+there's the baron-fellow putting up his coat collar and sneaking off
+round the corner of the bank. I'm so glad he's turned out a scamp!"</p>
+
+<p>Having reached the top of the bank, Matilda Bentley, who had nearly
+fainted, was laid on a bench and consigned to the care of her mother and
+sisters. A flood of tears came to her relief, and while she was
+indulging in them, Mrs. Bentley joined the group who were assembled
+round Mr. Smith and listening to his narrative.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Smith explained that he knew this <i>soi-disant</i> Baron Von Klingenberg
+to be an impostor and a swindler. That he had, some years since, under
+another name, made his appearance in Paris, as an American gentleman of
+German origin, and large fortune; but soon gambled away all his money.
+That he afterwards, under different appellations, visited the principal
+cities of the continent, but always left behind the reputation of a
+swindler. That he had seen him last in London, in the capacity of valet
+to the real Baron Von Klingenberg, who, intending a visit to the United
+States, had hired him as being a native of America, and familiar with
+the country and its customs. But an unforeseen circumstance having
+induced that gentleman to relinquish this transatlantic voyage, his
+American valet robbed him of a large sum of money and some valuable
+jewels, stole also the letters of introduction which had been obtained
+by the real Baron, and with them had evidently been enabled to pass
+himself for his master. To this explanation, Mr. Smith added that while
+wandering among the trees on the edge of the bank, he had seen the
+impostor on the beach below, endeavouring to persuade Miss Bentley to an
+elopement with him; proposing that they should repair immediately to a
+place in the neighbourhood, where the railroad cars stopped on their way
+to New York, and from thence proceed to that city, adding,&mdash;"You know
+there is no overtaking a railroad car, so all pursuit of us will be in
+vain; besides, when once married all will be safe, as you are of age and
+mistress of your own fortune." "Finding," continued Mr. Smith, "that he
+was likely to succeed in persuading Miss Bentley to accompany him, I
+could no longer restrain my indignation, which prompted me to rush down
+the bank and adopt summary measures in rescuing the young lady from the
+hands of so infamous a scoundrel, whom nothing but my unwillingness to
+disturb the company prevented me from exposing as soon as I saw him."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't believe him," screamed Mrs. Blake Bentley; "Mr. Smith indeed! Who
+is to take <i>his</i> word? Who knows what Mr. Smith is?"</p>
+
+<p>"I do," said a voice from the crowd; and there stepped forward a
+gentlemen, who had arrived in a chaise with a friend about half an hour
+before. "I had the pleasure of knowing him intimately in England, when I
+was minister to the court of St. James's."</p>
+
+<p>"May be you bought your tins at his shop," said Aunt Quimby.</p>
+
+<p>The ex-ambassador in a low voice exchanged a few words with Mr. Smith;
+and then taking his hand, presented him as the Earl of Huntingford,
+adding, "The only tin he deals in is that produced by his extensive
+mines in Cornwall."</p>
+
+<p>The whole company were amazed into a silence of some moments: after
+which there was a general buzz of favourable remark; Captain Cheston
+shook hands with him, and all the gentlemen pressed forward to be more
+particularly introduced to Lord Huntingford.</p>
+
+<p>"Dear me!" said Aunt Quimby; "to think that I should have been so
+sociable with a lord&mdash;and a real one too&mdash;and to think how he drank tea
+at Billy Fairfowl's in the back parlour, and ate bread and butter just
+like any other man&mdash;and how he saved Jane, and picked up Johnny&mdash;I
+suppose I must not speak to you now, Mr. Smith, for I don't know how to
+begin calling you my lord. And you don't seem like the same man, now
+that you can look and talk like other people: and (excuse my saying so)
+even your dress looks genteeler."</p>
+
+<p>"Call me still Mr. Smith, if you choose," replied Lord Huntingford; and,
+turning to Captain Cheston, he continued&mdash;"Under that name I have had
+opportunities of obtaining much knowledge of your <i>unique</i> and
+interesting country:&mdash;knowledge that will be useful to me all the
+remainder of my life, and that I could not so well have acquired in my
+real character."</p>
+
+<p>He then explained, that being tired of travelling in Europe, and having
+an earnest desire to see America thoroughly, and more particularly to
+become acquainted with the state of society among the middle classes
+(always the truest samples of national character), he had, on taking his
+passage in one of the Liverpool packets, given his name as Smith, and
+put on the appearance of a man in very common life, resolving to
+preserve his incognito as long as he could. His object being to observe
+and to listen, and fearing that if he talked much he might inadvertently
+betray himself, he endeavoured to acquire a habit of taciturnity. As is
+frequently the case, he rather overdid his assumed character: and was
+much amused at perceiving himself rated somewhat below mediocrity, and
+regarded as poor Mr. Smith.</p>
+
+<p>"But where is that Baron fellow?" said Mrs. Quimby; "I dare say he has
+sneaked off and taken the railroad himself, while we were all busy about
+Lord Smith."</p>
+
+<p>"He has&mdash;he has!" sobbed Miss Bentley; who in spite of her grief and
+mortification, had joined the group that surrounded the English
+nobleman; "and he has run away with my beautiful diamond ring."</p>
+
+<p>"Did he steal it from your finger?" asked Aunt Quimby, eagerly; "because
+if he did, you can send a constable after him."</p>
+
+<p>"I shall do no such thing," replied Matilda, tartly; then turning to her
+mother she added, "It was when we first went to walk by the river side.
+He took my hand and kissed it, and proposed exchanging rings&mdash;and so I
+let him have it&mdash;and he said he did not happen to have any ring of his
+own about him, but he would give me a magnificent one that had been
+presented to him by some emperor or king."</p>
+
+<p>"Now I think of it," exclaimed Mrs. Bentley, "he never gave me back my
+gold essence-bottle with the emerald stopper."</p>
+
+<p>"Now I remember," said Miss Turretville, "he did not return me the
+beautiful fan he took out of my hand the other evening at Mrs. De
+Mingle's. And I doubt also if he restored her diamond opera glass to the
+Princess of Saxe Blinkinberg."</p>
+
+<p>"The Princess of Saxe Fiddlestick!" exclaimed Aunt Quimby; "do you
+suppose he ever really had anything to do with such people? Between
+ourselves, I thought it was all fudge the whole time he was trying to
+make us believe he was hand and glove with women that had crowns on
+their heads, and men with diamond coats, and kings that shot peach
+stones. The more he talked, the more he looked like Jacob Stimbel&mdash;I'm
+not apt to forget people, so it would be strange if I did not remember
+our Jake; and I never saw a greater likeness."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, for my part," said Miss Turretville, candidly, "I really <i>did</i>
+think he had serfs, and a castle with ramparts, and I did believe in the
+banditti, and the captain just like Charles De Moor. And I grieved, as I
+often do, that here, in America, we had no such things."</p>
+
+<p>"Pity we should!" remarked Aunt Quimby.</p>
+
+<p>To be brief: the Bentleys, after what had passed, thought it best to
+order their carriage and return to the city: and on their ride home
+there was much recrimination between the lady and her eldest daughter;
+Matilda declaring, that she would never have thought of encouraging the
+addresses of such an ugly fellow as the baron, had not her mother first
+put it into her head. And as to the projected elopement, she felt very
+certain of being forgiven for that as soon as she came out a baroness.</p>
+
+<p>After the departure of the Bentleys, and when the excitement, caused by
+the events immediately preceding it, had somewhat subsided, it was
+proposed that the dancing should be resumed, and Lord Huntingford opened
+the ball with Mrs. Cheston, and proved that he could dance, and talk,
+and look extremely well. As soon as she was disengaged, he solicited
+Myrtilla's hand for the nest set, and she smilingly assented to his
+request. Before they began, Aunt Quimby took an opportunity of saying to
+her: "Well, Myrtilla; after all you are going to exhibit yourself, as
+you call it, with Mr. Smith."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! Aunt Quimby, you must not remember anything that was said about him
+while he was incog&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, and now he's out of cog it's thought quite an honour to get a word
+or a look from him. Well&mdash;well&mdash;whether as poor simple Mr. Smith, or a
+great lord that owns whole tin mines, he'll always find <i>me</i> exactly the
+same; now I've got over the first flurry of his being found out."</p>
+
+<p>"I have no doubt of that, Aunt Quimby," replied Myrtilla, giving her
+hand to Lord Huntingford, who just then came up to lead her to the
+dance.</p>
+
+<p>The afternoon passed rapidly away, with infinite enjoyment to the whole
+company; all of whom seemed to feel relieved by the absence of the Blake
+Bentley party. Aunt Quimby was very assiduous in volunteering to
+introduce ladies to Lord Smith, as she called him, and chaperoned him
+more than ever.</p>
+
+<p>The Chestons, perfectly aware that if Mrs. Quimby returned to
+Philadelphia, and proceeded to Baltimore under the escort of Mr. Smith,
+she would publish all along the road that he was a lord, and perhaps
+convert into annoyance the amusement he seemed to find in her entire
+want of tact, persuaded her to defer the Baltimore journey and pass a
+few days with them; promising to provide her with an escort there, in
+the person of an old gentleman of their neighbourhood, who was going to
+the south early next week; and whom they knew to be one of the mildest
+men in the world, and never incommoded by anything.</p>
+
+<p>When the fête was over, Lord Huntingford returned to the city with his
+friend, the ex-minister. At parting, he warmly expressed his delight at
+having had an opportunity of becoming acquainted with Captain Cheston
+and his ladies; and Aunt Quimby exclaimed, "It's all owing to me&mdash;if it
+had not been for me you might never have known them; I always had the
+character of bringing good luck to people: so it's no wonder I'm so
+welcome everywhere."</p>
+
+<p>On Captain Cheston's next visit to Philadelphia, he gathered that the
+fictitious Baron Von Klingenberg was really the reprobate son of Jacob
+Stimbel of Lancaster, and had been recognised as such by a gentleman
+from that place. That he had many years before gone to seek his fortune
+in Europe, with the wreck of some property left him by his father; where
+(as Lord Huntingford had stated) he had last been seen in London in the
+capacity of a valet to a German nobleman; and that now he had departed
+for the west, with the design, as was supposed, of gambling his way to
+New Orleans. Nothing could exceed the delight of Aunt Quimby on finding
+her impression of him so well corroborated.</p>
+
+<p>The old lady went to Baltimore, and found herself so happy with her dear
+crony Mrs. Bagnell, that she concluded to take up her permanent
+residence with her on the same terms on which she lived at her
+son-in-law Billy Fairfowl's, whose large family of children had, to say
+the truth, latterly caused her some inconvenience by their number and
+their noise; particularly as one of the girls was growing up so like her
+grandmother, as to out-talk her. Aunt Quimby's removal from Philadelphia
+to Baltimore was, of course, a sensible relief to the Chestons.</p>
+
+<p>Lord Huntingford (relinquishing the name and character of Mr. Smith)
+devoted two years to making the tour of the United States, including a
+visit to Canada; justly believing that he could not in less time
+accomplish his object of becoming <i>well</i> acquainted with the country and
+the people. On his return through the Atlantic cities, he met with
+Captain Cheston at Norfolk, where he had just brought in his ship from a
+cruise in the Pacific. Both gentlemen were glad to renew their
+acquaintance; and they travelled together to Philadelphia, where they
+found Mrs. Cheston and Myrtilla waiting to meet the captain.</p>
+
+<p>Lord Huntingford became a constant visitor at the house of the Chestons.
+He found Myrtilla improved in beauty, and as he thought in everything
+else, and he felt that in all his travels through Europe and America,
+he had met with no woman so well calculated to insure his happiness in
+married life. The sister of Captain Cheston was too good a republican to
+marry a foreigner and a nobleman, merely on account of his rank and
+title: but Lord Huntingford, as a man of sense, feeling, and unblemished
+morality, was one of the best specimens of his class, and after an
+intimate acquaintance of two months, she consented to become his
+countess. They were married a few days before their departure for
+England, where Captain and Mrs. Cheston promised to make them a visit
+the ensuing spring.</p>
+
+<p>Emily Atwood and Mr. Symmington were bridesmaid and groomsman, and were
+themselves united the following month. Miss Turretville made a very
+advantageous match, and has settled down into a rational woman and a
+first-rate housewife. The Miss Bentleys are all single yet; but their
+mother is married to an Italian singer, who is dissipating her property
+as fast as he can, and treating her ill all the time.</p>
+
+<p>While in Philadelphia, Lord Huntingford did not forget to visit
+occasionally his early acquaintance, Mr. William Fairfowl (who always
+received him as if he was still Mr. Smith), and on leaving the city he
+presented an elegant little souvenir to Mrs. Fairfowl, and one to each
+of her daughters.</p>
+
+<p>At Lord Huntingford's desire, Mrs. Quimby was invited from Baltimore to
+be present at his wedding (though the company was small and select), and
+she did honour to the occasion by wearing an entirely new gown and cap,
+telling the cost of them to every person in the room, but declaring she
+did not grudge it in the least; and assuming to herself the entire
+credit of the match, which she averred never would have taken place if
+she had not happened to come up the river, instead of going down.</p>
+
+<p>The events connected with the picnic day, had certainly one singular
+effect on Aunt Quimby, who from that time protested that she always
+thought of a nobleman whenever she heard the name of Smith.</p>
+
+<p>Could all our readers give in their experience of the numerous Smiths
+they must have known and heard of, would not many be found who, though
+bearing that trite appellation, were noblemen of nature's own making?</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="UNCLE_PHILIP" id="UNCLE_PHILIP"></a>UNCLE PHILIP.</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"Out spake that ancient mariner."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Coleridge.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>We will not be particular in designating the exact site of the
+flourishing village of Corinth; neither would we advise any of our
+readers to take the trouble of seeking it on the map. It is sufficient
+to tell them that they may consider it located on one of the banks of
+the Hudson, somewhere above the city of New York, and somewhere below
+that of Albany; and that, more than twenty years ago, the Clavering
+family occupied one of the best houses at its southern extremity.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering was the widow of a storekeeper, who had always, by
+courtesy, been called a merchant, according to a prevailing custom in
+the provincial towns of America. Her husband had left her in affluent
+circumstances, and to each of her five children he had bequeathed a
+sufficient portion to furnish, when they came of age, an outfit for the
+girls and a beginning for the boys. Added to this, they had considerable
+expectations from an uncle of their mother's, a retired sea-captain, and
+a confirmed old bachelor, who had long been in the practice of paying
+the family an annual visit on returning from his India voyages. He had
+become so much attached to the children, that when he quitted the sea
+(which was soon after the death of Mr. Clavering) he had, at the request
+of his niece, removed to Corinth, and taken up his residence in her
+family.</p>
+
+<p>Though so far from his beloved element, the ocean, Captain Kentledge
+managed to pass his time very contentedly, taking occasional trips down
+the river to New York (particularly when a new ship was to be launched),
+and performing, every summer, an excursion to the eastward: keeping
+closely along the coast, and visiting in turn every maritime town and
+village from Newport to Portland; never omitting to diverge off to
+Nantucket, which was his native place, and from whence, when a boy, he
+had taken his first voyage in a whale ship.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip (for so Captain Kentledge was familiarly called by Mrs.
+Clavering and her children) was a square-built man, with a broad
+weather-beaten face, and features the reverse of classical. His head was
+entirely bald, with the exception of two rough side-locks, and a long
+thin gray tress of hair, gathered into a queue, and secured with black
+ribbon. Uncle Philip was very tenacious of his queue.</p>
+
+<p>Like most seamen when on shore, he was singularly neat in his dress. He
+wore, all the year round, a huge blue coat, immense blue trowsers, and a
+white waistcoat of ample dimensions, the whole suit being decorated with
+gold buttons; for, as he observed, he had, in the course of his life,
+worn enough of brass buttons to be heartily tired of them: gilt ones he
+hated, because they were shams; and gold he could very well afford, and
+therefore it was his pleasure to have them. His cravat was a large black
+silk handkerchief, tied in front, with a spreading bow and long ends.
+His shirt frill was particularly conspicuous and amazingly broad, and it
+was fastened with a large oval-shaped brooch, containing under its glass
+a handsome hair-coloured device of Hope leaning on an anchor. He never
+wore boots, but always white stockings and well-blacked long-quartered
+shoes. His hat had both a wide crown and a wide brim. Every part of his
+dress was good in quality and large in quantity, denoting that he was
+above economizing in the material.</p>
+
+<p>Though "every inch a sailor," it must not be supposed that Captain
+Kentledge was in the constant habit of interlarding his conversation
+with sea-terms; a practice which, if it ever actually prevailed to the
+extent that has been represented in fictitious delineations of "the sons
+of the wild and warring wave," has long since been discontinued in real
+life, by all nautical men who have any pretensions to the title of
+gentlemen. A sea-captain, whose only phraseology was that of the
+forecastle, and who could talk of nothing without reference to the
+technical terms of his profession, would now be considered as obsolete a
+character "as the Lieutenant Bowlings and Commodore Trunnions of the
+last century."</p>
+
+<p>Next to the children of his niece, the object most beloved by Uncle
+Philip was an enormous Newfoundland dog, the companion of his last
+voyages, and his constant attendant on land and on water, in doors and
+out of doors. In the faces of Neptune and his master there was an
+obvious resemblance, which a physiognomist would have deduced from the
+similarity of their characters; and it was remarked by one of the wags
+of the village that the two animals walked exactly alike, and held out
+their paws to strangers precisely in the same manner.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering, as is generally the case with mothers of the present
+day, when they consider themselves very genteel, intended one of her
+sons for the profession of physic, and the other for that of law. But in
+the mean time, Uncle Philip had so deeply imbued Sam, the eldest, with a
+predilection for the sea, that the boy's sole ambition was to unite
+himself to that hardy race, "whose march is o'er the mountain-waves,
+whose home is on the deep." And Dick, whom his mother designed for a
+lawyer, intended himself for a carpenter: his genius pointing decidedly
+to hand-work rather than to head-work. It was Uncle Philip's opinion
+that boys should never be controlled in the choice of a profession. Yet
+he found it difficult to convince Mrs. Clavering that there was little
+chance of one of her sons filling a professor's chair at a medical
+college, or of the other arriving at the rank of chief justice; but that
+as the laws of nature and the decrees of fate were not to be reversed,
+Dick would very probably build the ships that Sam would navigate.</p>
+
+<p>About three months before the period at which our story commences, Uncle
+Philip had set out on his usual summer excursion, and had taken with him
+not only Neptune, but Sam also, leaving Dick very much engaged in making
+a new kitchen-table with a drawer at each end. After the travellers had
+gone as far as the State of Maine, and were supposed to be on their
+return, Mrs. Clavering was surprised to receive a letter from Uncle
+Philip, dated "Off Cape Cod, lat. 42, lon. 60, wind N.N.E." The
+following were the words of this epistle:&mdash;</p>
+
+<blockquote><p>"<span class="smcap">Dear Niece Kitty Clavering</span>: I take this opportunity of informing
+you, by a fishing-boat that is just going into the harbour, that
+being on Long Wharf, Boston, yesterday at 7 A. M., and finding
+there the schooner Winthrop about to sail for Cuba, and the
+schooner being commanded by a son of my old ship-mate, Ben
+Binnacle, and thinking it quite time that Sam should begin to see
+the world (as he was fifteen the first of last April), and that so
+good an opportunity should not be lost, I concluded to let him have
+a taste of the sea by giving him a run down to the West Indies. Sam
+was naturally very glad, and so was Neptune; and Sam being under my
+care, I, of course, felt in duty bound to go along with him. The
+schooner Winthrop is as fine a sea-boat as ever swam, and young Ben
+Binnacle is as clever a fellow as his father. We are very well off
+for hands, the crew being young Ben's brother and three of his
+cousins (all from Marblehead, and all part owners), besides Sam and
+myself, and Neptune, and black Bob, the cabin-boy. So you have
+nothing to fear. And even if we should have a long passage, there
+is no danger of our starving, for most of the cargo is pork and
+onions, and the rest is turkeys, potatoes, flour, butter, and
+cheese.</p>
+
+<p>"You may calculate on finding Sam greatly improved by the voyage.
+Going to sea will cure him of all his awkward tricks, as you call
+them, and give him an opportunity of showing what he really is. He
+went out of Boston harbour perched on the end of the foresail boom,
+and was at the mainmast head before we had cleared the light-house.
+To-morrow I shall teach him to take an observation. Young Ben
+Binnacle has an excellent quadrant that was his father's. We shall
+be back in a few weeks, and bring you pine-apples and parrots.
+Shall write from Havana, if I have time.</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i6">"Till then, yours,<br /></span>
+<span class="i10">"<span class="smcap">Philip Kentledge</span>.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>"P. S. Neptune is very happy at finding himself at sea again. Give
+our love to Dick and the girls.</p>
+
+<p>"N. B. We took care to have our trunk brought on board before we
+got under way. Though we have a stiff breeze, Sam is not yet
+sea-sick, having set his face against it.</p>
+
+<p>"2d P. S. Don't take advantage of my absence to put the girls in
+corsets, as you did when I was away last summer.</p>
+
+<p>"2d N. B. Remember to send old Tom Tarpaulin his weekly allowance
+of tobacco all the time I am gone. You know I promised, when I
+first found him at Corinth, to keep him in tobacco as long as he
+lived; and if you forget to furnish it punctually, the poor fellow
+will be obliged to take his own money to buy it with."</p></blockquote>
+
+<p>This elopement, as Mrs. Clavering called it, caused at first great
+consternation in the family, but she soon consoled herself with the idea
+that 'twas well it was no worse, for if Uncle Philip had found a vessel
+going to China, commanded by an old ship-mate, or a ship-mate's son, he
+would scarcely have hesitated to have acted as he had done in this
+instance. The two younger girls grieved that in all probability Sam had
+gone without gingerbread, which, they had heard, was a preventive to
+sea-sickness; but Fanny, the elder, remarked that it was more probable
+he had his pockets full, as, from Uncle Philip's account, he continued
+perfectly well. "Whatever Uncle Philip may say," observed Fanny, very
+judiciously, "Sam must, of course, have known that gingerbread is a more
+certain remedy for sea-sickness than merely setting one's face against
+it." Dick's chief regret was, that not knowing beforehand of their trip
+to the West Indies, he had lost the opportunity of sending by them for
+some mahogany.</p>
+
+<p>In about four weeks, the Clavering family was set at ease by a letter
+from Sam himself, dated Havana. It detailed at full length the delights
+of the voyage, and the various qualifications of black Bob, the
+cabin-boy, and it was finished by two postscripts from Uncle Philip; one
+celebrating the rapid progress of Sam in nautical knowledge, and another
+stating that they should return in the schooner Winthrop.</p>
+
+<p>They did return&mdash;Uncle Philip bringing with him, among other West India
+productions, a barrel of pine-apples for Mrs. Clavering, and three
+parrots, one for each of his young nieces; to all of whom he observed
+the strictest impartiality in distributing his favours. Also, a large
+box for Dick, filled with numerous specimens of tropical woods.</p>
+
+<p>It was evening when they arrived at Corinth, and they walked up directly
+from the steamboat wharf to Mrs. Clavering's house; leaving their
+baggage to follow in a cart. Intending to give the family a pleasant
+surprise, they stole cautiously in at the gate, and walked on the grass
+to avoid making a noise with their shoes on the gravel. As usual at this
+hour, a light shone through the Venetian shutters of the
+parlour-windows. But our voyagers listened in vain for the well-known
+sounds of noisy mirth excited by the enjoyment of various little games
+and plays in which it was usual for the children to pass the interval
+between tea and bed-time; a laudable custom, instituted by Uncle Philip
+soon after he became one of the family.</p>
+
+<p>"I hope all may be right," whispered the old captain, as he ascended
+the steps of the front porch, "I don't hear the least sound."</p>
+
+<p>They sat down the three parrot-cages, which they had carried themselves
+from the wharf, and then went up to the windows and reconnoitered
+through the shutters. They saw the whole family seated round the table,
+busily employed with books and writing materials, and all perfectly
+silent. Uncle Philip now hastily threw open the front door, and,
+followed by Sam, made his appearance in the parlour, exclaiming&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Why, what is all this? Not hearing any noise as we came along, we
+concluded there must be sickness, or death in the house."</p>
+
+<p>"We are not dead yet," said Dick, starting up, "though we are learning
+French."</p>
+
+<p>In an instant the books were abandoned, the table nearly overset in
+getting from behind it, and the whole group hung round the voyagers,
+delighted at their return, and overwhelming them with questions and
+caresses. In a moment there came prancing into the room the dog Neptune,
+who had remained behind to guard the baggage-cart, which had now arrived
+at the front gate. The faithful animal was literally received with open
+arms by all the children, and when he had nearly demolished little Anne
+by the roughness of his gambols, she only exclaimed&mdash;"Oh! never
+mind&mdash;never mind. I am so glad to have Neptune back again, that I don't
+care, if he <i>does</i> tear my new pink frock all to tatters."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering made a faint attempt at reproaching Uncle Philip for thus
+stealing a march and carrying off her son, but the old captain turned it
+all into a subject of merriment, and pointed out to her Sam's ruddy
+looks and improved height; and his good fortune in having a brown skin,
+which, on being exposed to the air and sun of the ocean, only deepened
+its manly tint, instead of being disfigured by freckles. On Mrs.
+Clavering remarking that her poor boy had learnt the true balancing gait
+of a sailor, the uncle and nephew exchanged glances of congratulation;
+and Sam, in the course of the evening, took frequent occasions to get up
+and walk across the room, by way of displaying this new accomplishment.</p>
+
+<p>As Mrs. Clavering understood that her uncle and son had not yet had
+their supper, she quitted the room "on hospitable thoughts intent,"
+while the children were listening with breathless interest to a minute
+detail of the voyage; Sam leaning over the back of his uncle's great
+chair, into which Fanny had squeezed herself beside the old gentleman,
+who held Jane on one knee and Anne on the other; and Dick making a seat
+of the dog Neptune, who lay at his master's feet.</p>
+
+<p>"Who are those people talking in the porch?" asked little Anne,
+interrupting her uncle to listen to the strange sounds that issued from
+without.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! they are the parrots," said Sam, laughing, "I wonder they should
+have been forgotten so long."</p>
+
+<p>"Parrots!" exclaimed all the children at once, and in a moment every one
+of the young people were out in the porch, and the cages were carried
+into the parlour. The parrots were duly admired, and made to go through
+all their phrases, of which (being very smart parrots) they had learnt
+an infinite variety, and Uncle Philip told the girls to draw lots for
+the first choice of these new pets. Dick supplying for that purpose
+little sticks of unequal lengths. After this the box of tropical woods
+was opened, and Dick's happiness became too great for utterance.</p>
+
+<p>Supper was now brought in, and placed by Mrs. Clavering's order on a
+little table in the corner, it not being worth while, as she said, to
+remove the books and writing apparatus from the centre-table, as the
+lessons must be shortly resumed.</p>
+
+<p>"What lessons are these," said Uncle Philip, "on which you seem so
+intent? Before I went away there was no lesson-learning of evenings.
+Have Mr. Fulmer and Miss Hickman adopted a new plan? I think, children,
+I have heard you say that your lessons were very short, and that you
+always learned them in school, which was one reason, why I approved of
+Mr. Fulmer for the boys, and Miss Hickman for the girls. I never could
+bear the idea of poor children being forced to spend their play-time in
+learning lessons. The school hours are long enough in all conscience."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh&mdash;we don't go to Miss Hickman now," exclaimed the girls:&mdash;"And I
+don't go any longer to Mr. Fulmer," cried Dick, with something like a
+sigh.</p>
+
+<p>"And where do you go, then?" inquired Uncle Philip.</p>
+
+<p>"We go to Monsieur and Madame Franchimeau's French Study," replied Dick.
+"He teaches the boys, and she the girls&mdash;and our lessons are so long
+that it takes us the whole evening to learn them, and write our
+exercises. We are kept in school from eight in the morning till three in
+the afternoon. And then at four we go back again, and stay till dusk,
+trying to read and talk French with Monsieur and Madame Ravigote, the
+father and mother of Madame Franchimeau."</p>
+
+<p>"What's all this?" said Uncle Philip, laying down his knife and fork.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering, after silencing Dick with a significant look, proceeded
+to explain&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Why, uncle," said she, "you must know that immediately after you left
+us, there came to Corinth a very elegant French family, and their
+purpose was to establish an Institute, or Study, as they now call it, in
+which, according to the last new system of education, everything is to
+be learnt in French. Mrs. Apesley, Mrs. Nedging, Mrs. Pinxton, Mrs.
+Slimbridge and myself, with others of the leading ladies of Corinth, had
+long wished for such an opportunity of having our children properly
+instructed, and we all determined to avail ourselves of it. We called
+immediately on the French ladies, who are very superior women, and we
+resolved at once to bring them into fashion by showing them every
+possible attention. We understood, also, that before Monsieur
+Franchimeau and his family came to Corinth, they had been on the other
+side of the river, and had visited Tusculum with a view of locating
+themselves in that village. But these polished and talented strangers
+were not in the least appreciated by the Tusculans, who are certainly a
+coarse and vulgar people; and therefore it became the duty of us
+Corinthians to prove to them our superiority in gentility and
+refinement."</p>
+
+<p>"I thought as much," said Uncle Philip; "I knew it would come out this
+way. So the Corinthians are learning French out of spite to the
+Tusculans. And I suppose, when these Monsieurs and Madames have done
+making fools of the people of this village, they will move higher up the
+river, and monkeyfy all before them between this and Albany. For, of
+course, the Hyde Parkers will learn French to spite the New Paltzers,
+and the Hudsonians to spite the Athenians, and the Kinderhookers to
+spite the&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Now, uncle, do hush," said Mrs. Clavering, interrupting him; "how can
+you make a jest of a thing from which we expect to derive so much
+benefit?"</p>
+
+<p>"I am not jesting at all," replied Uncle Philip; "I fear it is a thing
+too serious to laugh at. But why do you say <i>we</i>? I hope, Kitty
+Clavering, <i>you</i> are not making a fool of yourself, and turning
+school-girl again?"</p>
+
+<p>"I certainly do take lessons in French," replied Mrs. Clavering. "Mrs.
+Apesley, Mrs. Nedging, Mrs. Pinxton, Mrs. Slimbridge and myself, have
+formed a class for that purpose."</p>
+
+<p>"Mrs. Apesley has eleven children," said Uncle Philip.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," replied Mrs. Clavering, "but the youngest is more than two years
+old. And Mrs. Nedging has only three."</p>
+
+<p>"True," observed the uncle; "one of them is an idiot boy that can
+neither hear, speak, nor use any of his limbs; the others are a couple
+of twin babies, that were only two months old when I went away."</p>
+
+<p>"But they are remarkably good babies," answered Mrs. Clavering, "and can
+bear very well to have their mother out of their sight."</p>
+
+<p>"And Mrs. Pinxton," said Uncle Philip, "has, ever since the death of her
+husband, presided over a large hotel, which, if properly attended to,
+ought to furnish her with employment for eighteen hours out of the
+twenty-four."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! but she has an excellent barkeeper," replied Mrs. Clavering, "and
+she has lately got a cook from New York, to whom she gives thirty
+dollars a month, and she has promoted her head-chambermaid to the rank
+of housekeeper. Mrs. Pinxton herself is no longer to be seen going
+through the house as she formerly did. You would not suppose that there
+was any mistress belonging to the establishment."</p>
+
+<p>"So much the worse," said Uncle Philip, "both for the mistress and the
+establishment. Well, and let me ask, if Mrs. Slimbridge's husband has
+recovered his health during my absence?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! no, he is worse than ever," replied Mrs. Clavering.</p>
+
+<p>"And still," resumed Uncle Philip, "with an invalid husband, who
+requires her constant care and attention, Mrs. Slimbridge can find it in
+her heart to neglect him, and waste her time in taking lessons that she
+may learn to read French (though I am told their books are all about
+nothing), and to talk French, though I cannot for my life see who she is
+to talk to."</p>
+
+<p>"There is no telling what advantage she may not derive from it in future
+life," remarked Mrs. Clavering.</p>
+
+<p>"I can tell her one thing," said Uncle Philip, "when poor Slimbridge
+dies, her French will never help her to a second husband. No man ever
+married a woman because she had learnt French."</p>
+
+<p>"Indeed, uncle," replied Mrs. Clavering, "your prejudices against
+everything foreign are so strong, that it is in vain for me to oppose
+them. To-night, at least, I shall not say another word on the subject."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, well, Kitty," said Uncle Philip, shaking her kindly by the hand,
+"we'll talk no more about it to-night, and perhaps, as you say, I ought
+to have more patience with foreigners, seeing that, as no man can choose
+his own birth-place, it is not to be expected that everybody can be born
+in America. And those that are not, are certainly objects of pity rather
+than of blame."</p>
+
+<p>"Very right, uncle," exclaimed Sam; "I am sure I pity all that are not
+Americans of the United States, particularly since I have been among the
+West Indian Spaniards."</p>
+
+<p>"Now, Kitty Clavering," said Uncle Philip, triumphantly, "you perceive
+the advantages of seeing the world: who says that Sam has not profited
+by his voyage?"</p>
+
+<p>The family separated for the night; and next morning Sam laughed at Dick
+for repeating his French verbs in his sleep. "No wonder," replied Dick,
+"if you knew how many verbs I have to learn every day, and how much
+difficulty I have in getting them by heart, when I am all the time
+thinking of other things, you would not be surprised at my dreaming of
+them; as people are apt to do of whatever is their greatest affliction."</p>
+
+<p>At breakfast, the conversation of the preceding evening was renewed, by
+Mrs. Clavering observing with much complacency,</p>
+
+<p>"Monsieur Franchimeau will be very happy to find that I have a new
+scholar for him."</p>
+
+<p>"Indeed!" said Uncle Philip; "and who else have you been pressing into
+the service?"</p>
+
+<p>"My son Sam, certainly," replied Mrs. Clavering. "I promised him to Mr.
+Franchimeau, and he of course has been expecting to have him immediately
+on his return from the West Indies. Undoubtedly, Sam must be allowed the
+same advantages as his brother and sisters. Not to give him an equal
+opportunity of learning French would be unjust in the extreme."</p>
+
+<p>"Dear mother," replied Sam, "I am quite willing to put up with that much
+injustice."</p>
+
+<p>"Right, my boy," exclaimed Uncle Philip; "and when you have learnt
+everything else, it will then be quite time enough to begin French."</p>
+
+<p>"You misunderstand entirely," said Mrs. Clavering. "The children <i>are</i>
+learning everything else. But Mr. Franchimeau goes upon the new system,
+and teaches the whole in French and out of French books. His pupils, and
+those of Madame Franchimeau, learn history, geography, astronomy,
+botany, chemistry, mathematics, logic, criticism, composition, geology,
+mineralogy, conchology, and phrenology."</p>
+
+<p>"Mercy on their poor heads," exclaimed Uncle Philip, interrupting her:
+"They'll every one grow up idiots. All the sense they have will be
+crushed out of them, by this unnatural business of overloading their
+minds with five times as much as they can bear. And the whole of this is
+to be learned in a foreign tongue too. Well, what next? Are they also
+taught Latin and Greek in French? And now I speak of those two
+languages&mdash;that have caused so many aching heads and aching hearts to
+poor boys that never had the least occasion to turn them to any
+account&mdash;suppose that all the lectures at the Medical Colleges were
+delivered in Latin or Greek. How much, do you think, would the students
+profit by them? Pretty doctors we should have, if they learnt their
+business in that way. No, no; the branches you have mentioned are all
+hard enough in themselves, particularly that last ology about the bumps
+on people's heads. To get a thorough knowledge of any one of these arts
+or sciences, or whatever you call them, is work enough for a man's
+lifetime; and now the whole of them together are to be forced upon the
+weak understandings of poor innocent children, and in a foreign
+language, to boot. Shame on you&mdash;shame on you, Kitty Clavering!"</p>
+
+<p>"Uncle Philip," said Mrs. Clavering, smiling at his vehemence, for on
+such occasions she had always found it more prudent to smile than to
+frown, "you may say what you will now, but I foresee that you will
+finally become a convert to my views of this subject. I intend to make
+French the general language of the family, and in a short time you will
+soon catch it yourself. Why, though I cannot say much for his
+proficiency in his lessons, even Ric<i>har</i><a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a> has picked up without
+intending it, a number of French phrases, that he pronounces quite well
+when I make him go over them with me."</p>
+
+<p>"Ric<i>har</i>!" cried Uncle Philip, "and pray who is he? Who is Richar?"</p>
+
+<p>"That's me, uncle," said Dick.</p>
+
+<p>"So you have Frenchified Dick's name, have you!" said the old
+gentleman, "but I'm determined you shall not Frenchify Sam's."</p>
+
+<p>"No," observed Sam, "I'll not be Frenchified."</p>
+
+<p>"And pray, young ladies," resumed the uncle, "Fanny, Jenny, and Anny,
+have you too been put into French?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, uncle," replied Jane, "we are now Fanchette, Jeanette, and
+Annette."</p>
+
+<p>"So much the worse," said Uncle Philip. "Listen to me, when I tell you,
+that all this Frenchifying will come to no good; and I foresee that you
+may be sorry for it when it is too late. Of what use will it be to any
+of you? I have often heard that all French books worth reading are
+immediately done into English. And I never met with a French person
+worth knowing that had not learned to talk English."</p>
+
+<p>"Now, uncle," said Mrs. Clavering, "you are going quite too far. If our
+knowledge of French should not come into use while in our own country,
+who knows but some time or other we may all go to France."</p>
+
+<p>"I for one," replied Uncle Philip, "<i>I</i> know that you will not; at
+least, you shall never go to France with my consent. No American woman
+goes to France, without coming home the worse for it in some way or
+other. There were the two Miss Facebys, who came up here last spring,
+fresh from a six months' foolery in Paris. I can see them now, ambling
+along in their short petticoats, with their hands clasped on their belt
+buckles, their mouths half open like idiots, and their eyes turned
+upwards like dying calves."</p>
+
+<p>Here Uncle Philip set the whole family to laughing, by starting from his
+chair and imitating the walk and manner of the Miss Facebys.</p>
+
+<p>"There," said he, resuming his seat, "I know that's exactly like them.
+Then did not they pretend to have nearly forgotten their own language,
+affecting to speak English imperfectly. And what was the end of them?
+One ran away with a dancing-master's mate, and the other got privately
+married to a fiddler."</p>
+
+<p>"But you must allow," said Mrs. Clavering, "that the Miss Facebys
+improved greatly in manner by their visit to France."</p>
+
+<p>"I know not what you call <i>manner</i>" replied Uncle Philip, "but I'm sure
+in <i>manners</i> they did not. Manner and manners, I find, are very
+different things. And I was told by a gentleman, who had lived many
+years in France, that the Miss Facebys looked and behaved like French
+chambermaids, but not like French ladies. For my part, I am no judge of
+French women; but this I know, that American girls had better be like
+themselves, and not copy any foreign women whatever. And let them take
+care not to unfit themselves for American husbands. If they do, they'll
+lose more than they'll gain."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Uncle Philip," said Mrs. Clavering, "I see it will take time to
+make a convert of you."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't depend on that," replied the old gentleman. "I, that for sixty
+years have stood out against all foreigners, particularly the French, am
+not likely to be taken in by them now."</p>
+
+<p>"We shall see," resumed Mrs. Clavering. "But are you really serious in
+prohibiting Sam from becoming a pupil of Mr. Franchimeau?"</p>
+
+<p>"Serious, to be sure I am," replied Uncle Philip. "Of what use can it be
+to him, if he follows the sea, as of course he will?"</p>
+
+<p>"Of great use," answered Mrs. Clavering, "if he should be in the French
+trade."</p>
+
+<p>"I look forward to his being in the India trade," said Uncle Philip,
+proudly.</p>
+
+<p>"But suppose, uncle," said Fanny, "he should happen to have French
+sailors on board his ship?"</p>
+
+<p>"French sailors! French!" exclaimed Uncle Philip; "for what purpose
+should he ship a Frenchman as a sailor? Why, I was once all over a
+French frigate that came into New York, and she was a pretty thing
+enough to look at outside. But when you got on board and went between
+decks, I never saw so dirty a ship. However, I won't go too far&mdash;I won't
+say that all French frigates are like this one, or all French sailors
+like those. Besides, this was many years ago, and, perhaps, they've
+improved since."</p>
+
+<p>"No doubt of it," said Mrs. Clavering.</p>
+
+<p>"Well," pursued Uncle Philip, "I only tell you what I saw."</p>
+
+<p>"But, not knowing their language, you must have misunderstood a great
+deal that you saw," observed Mrs. Clavering.</p>
+
+<p>"The first-lieutenant spoke English," said Uncle Philip, "and he showed
+me the ship; and, to do him justice, he was a very clever fellow, for
+all he was a Frenchman. There must certainly be <i>some</i> good ones among
+them. Yes, yes&mdash;I have not a word to say against that first-lieutenant.
+But I wish you had seen the men that we found between decks. Some were
+tinkling on a sort of guitars, and some were tooting on a kind of
+flutes, and some were scraping on wretched fiddles. Some had little
+paint-boxes, and were drawing watch-papers, with loves and doves on
+them; some were sipping lemonade, and some were eating sugar-candy; and
+one (whom I suspected to have been originally a barber), was combing and
+curling a lapdog. It was really sickening to see sailors making such
+fools of themselves. By the bye, I did not see a tolerable dog about the
+ship. There was no fine Newfoundlander like my gallant Neptune (come
+here, old fellow), but there were half a dozen short-legged,
+long-bodied, red-eyed, tangle-haired wretches, meant for poodles, but
+not even half so good. And some of the men were petting huge cats, and
+some were feeding little birds in cages."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Mrs. Clavering, "I see no harm in all this&mdash;only an
+evidence that the general refinement of the French nation pervades all
+ranks of society. Is it not better to eat sugar-candy than to chew
+tobacco, and to sip lemonade than to drink grog?"</p>
+
+<p>"And then," continued Uncle Philip, "to hear the names by which the
+fellows were calling each other, for their tongues were all going the
+whole time as fast as they could chatter. There were Lindor and Isidore,
+and Adolphe and Emile. I don't believe there was a Jack or a Tom in the
+whole ship. I was so diverted with their names, that I made the
+first-lieutenant repeat them to me, and I wrote them down in my
+pocket-book. A very gentlemanly man was that first-lieutenant. But as to
+the sailors&mdash;why, there was one fellow sprawling on a gun (I suppose I
+should say reclining), and talking to himself about his amiable Pauline,
+which, I suppose, is the French for Poll. When we went into the
+gun-room, there was the gunner sitting on a chest, and reading some
+love-verses of his own writing, addressed to his belle Celestine, which,
+doubtless, is the French for Sall. Think of a sailor pretending to have
+a belle for his sweetheart! The first-lieutenant told me that the gunner
+was the best poet in the ship. I must say, I think very well of that
+first-lieutenant. There were half a dozen boys crowding round the gunner
+(or forming a group, as, I suppose, you would call it), and looking up
+to his face with admiration; and one great fool was kneeling behind him,
+and holding over his head a wreath of some sort of green leaves,
+waiting to crown him when he had done reading his verses."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," observed Mrs. Clavering, "I have no doubt the whole scene had a
+very pretty effect."</p>
+
+<p>"Pshaw," said Uncle Philip. "When I came on deck again, there was the
+boatswain's mate, who was also the ship's dancing-master (for a
+Frenchman can turn his hand to anything, provided it's foolery), and he
+was giving a lesson to two dozen dirty fellows with bare feet and red
+woollen caps, and taking them by their huge tarry hands, and bidding
+them <i>chassez</i> here, and <i>balancez</i> there, and <i>promenade</i> here, and
+<i>pirouette</i> there. I was too angry to laugh, when I saw sailors making
+such baboons of themselves."</p>
+
+<p>"Now," remarked Mrs. Clavering, "it is an established fact, that without
+some knowledge of dancing, no one can move well, or have a graceful air
+and carriage. Why, then, should not sailors be allowed an opportunity of
+cultivating the graces as well as other people? Why should they be
+debarred from everything that savours of refinement?"</p>
+
+<p>"I am glad," said Uncle Philip, laughing, "that it never fell to my lot
+to go to sea with a crew of refined sailors. I think, I should have
+tried hard to whack their refinement out of them. Why the French
+first-lieutenant (who was certainly a very clever fellow), told me that,
+during the cruise, five or six seamen had nearly died of their
+sensibility, as he called it; having jumped overboard, because they
+could not bear the separation from their sweethearts."</p>
+
+<p>"Poor fellows," said Fanny, "and were they drowned?"</p>
+
+<p>"I asked that," replied Uncle Philip, "hoping that they were; but,
+unluckily for the service, they were all provided with sworn friends,
+who jumped heroically into the sea, and fished the lubbers out. And, no
+doubt, the whole scene had a very pretty effect."</p>
+
+<p>"How can you make a jest of such things?" said Mrs. Clavering,
+reproachfully.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, I am only repeating your own words," answered the old gentleman.
+"But, to speak seriously, this shows that French ships ought always to
+be furnished with Newfoundland dogs to send in after the lovers, and
+spare their friends the trouble of getting a wet jacket for them:&mdash;Come
+here, old Nep. Up, my fine fellow, up," patting the dog's head, while
+the enormous animal rested his fore-paws on his master's shoulders.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering now reminded the children that it was considerably past
+their hour for going to school, but with one accord they petitioned for
+a holiday, as it was the first day of Uncle Philip's and Sam's return.</p>
+
+<p>"You know the penalty," said Mrs. Clavering; "you know that if you stay
+away from school, you will be put down to the bottom of the class."</p>
+
+<p>The children all declared their willingness to submit to this punishment
+rather than go to school that day.</p>
+
+<p>"Now, Kitty Clavering," said Uncle Philip, "you see plainly that their
+hearts are not in the French: and that it is all forced work with them.
+So I shall be regularly displeased, if you send the children to school
+to-day. They shall go with me to the cabin, and we will all spend the
+morning there."</p>
+
+<p>The cabin was a small wooden edifice planned by Uncle Philip, and
+erected by his own hands with the assistance of Sam and Dick. It stood
+on the verge of the river, where the bank took the form of a little cape
+or headland, which Uncle Philip called Point Lookout. On an eminence
+immediately above, was the house of Mrs. Clavering, from the front
+garden of which a green slope, planted with fruit-trees, descended
+gradually to the water's edge.</p>
+
+<p>The building (into which you went down by a flight of wooden steps
+inserted in the face of the hill), was as much as possible like the
+cabin of a ship. The ceiling was low, with a skylight near the centre,
+and the floor was not exactly level, there being a very visible slant to
+one side. At the back of this cabin was an imitation of transoms, above
+which was a row of small windows of four panes each, and when these
+windows were open, they were fastened up by brass hooks to the beams
+that supported the roof. In the middle of the room was a flag-staff,
+which went up through the centre of a table, and perforated the ceiling
+like the mizen-mast of a ship, and rose to a great height above the
+roof. From the top of this staff an American ensign, on Sundays and
+holidays, displayed its stars and stripes to the breeze. There was a
+range of lockers all round the room, containing in their recesses an
+infinite variety of marine curiosities that Uncle Philip had collected
+during his voyages, and also some very amusing specimens of Chinese
+patience and ingenuity. The walls were hung with charts, and ornamented
+with four coloured drawings that Captain Kentledge showed as the
+likenesses of four favourite ships, all of which he, had at different
+times commanded. These drawings were made by a young man that had
+sailed with him as mate; and to unpractised eyes all the four ships
+looked exactly alike; but Uncle Philip always took care to explain that
+the Columbia was sharpest at the bows, and the American roundest at the
+stern; that the United States had the tallest masts, and the Union the
+longest yards.</p>
+
+<p>An important appendage to the furniture of this singular room was a
+hanging-shelf, containing Captain Kentledge's library; and the books
+were the six octavo volumes of Cook's Voyages, and also the voyages of
+Scoresby, Ross and Parry, the Arabian Nights, Dibdin's Songs, Robinson
+Crusoe, and Cooper's Pilot, Red Rover, and Water Witch.</p>
+
+<p>This cabin was the stronghold of Uncle Philip, and the place where, with
+Sam and Neptune, he spent all his happiest hours. For here he could
+smoke his segars in peace, and chew his tobacco without being obliged to
+watch an opportunity of slipping it privately into his mouth. But as
+Mrs. Clavering had particularly desired that he would not initiate Sam
+into the use of "the Indian weed," he had promised to refrain from
+instructing him in this branch of a sailor's education; and being "an
+honourable man," Uncle Philip had faithfully kept his word.</p>
+
+<p>Dick (acknowledging that during his uncle's absence he had used the
+cabin as a workshop, and that it was now ankle-deep in chips and
+shavings), ran on before with a broom to sweep the litter into a corner.
+The whole group proceeded thither from the breakfast table, Uncle Philip
+wishing he had three hands that he might give one to each of the little
+girls; but as that was not the case, they drew lots to decide which
+should be contented to hold by the skirt of his coat, and the lot fell
+upon Fanny; the old gentleman leading Jane and Anne, while Sam and
+Neptune brought up the rear.</p>
+
+<p>Arrived at the cabin, Uncle Philip placed himself in his arm-chair; the
+girls sat round him sewing for their dolls; Sam took his slate and drew
+upon it all the different parts of the schooner Winthrop, of which (from
+his brother's description) Dick commenced making a minature model in
+wood; and Neptune mounted one of the transoms and looked out of the
+window.</p>
+
+<p>Things were going on very pleasantly, and Uncle Philip was in the midst
+of narrating the particulars of a violent storm they had encountered in
+the gulf of Florida, when Dick, casting his eyes towards the glass
+door, exclaimed, "the French are coming, the French are coming!"</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip testified much dissatisfaction at the intrusion of these
+unwelcome visitors, and Dick again fell to work with the broom. In a few
+minutes Mrs. Clavering entered the cabin, bringing with her Monsieur and
+Madame Franchimeau, and the <i>vieux</i> papa, and <i>vieille</i> mama,<a name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a>
+Monsieur and Madame Ravigote.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Franchimeau was a clumsy, ill-made man, fierce-eyed,
+black-whiskered, and looking as if he might sit for the picture of
+"Abællino the Great Bandit." Madame Franchimeau was a large woman, with
+large features, and a figure that was very bad in dishabille, and very
+good in full dress. Her father and mother were remnants of the <i>ancien
+régime</i>, but the costume of the <i>vieux</i> papa was not at all in the style
+of Blissett's Frenchman. His clothes were like those of other people,
+and instead of a powdered toupee and pigeon-wing side-curls, with a
+black silk bag behind, he wore a reddish scratch-wig that almost came
+down to his eyebrows. Why do very old men, when they wear wigs,
+generally prefer red ones? Madame Ravigote was a little withered,
+witch-like woman, with a skin resembling brown leather, which was set
+off by four scanty flaxen ringlets.</p>
+
+<p>Soon after breakfast, Mrs. Clavering had sent a message to "the French
+Study," implying the arrival of Captain Kentledge, and the consequent
+holiday of the children; and the Gauls had concluded it expedient to
+dismiss their school at twelve o'clock, and hasten to pay their
+compliments to the rich old uncle, of whom they had heard much since
+their residence at Corinth.</p>
+
+<p>When they were presented to Captain Kentledge, he was not at all
+prepossessed in favor of their appearance, and would have been much
+inclined to receive them coldly; but as he was now called upon to appear
+in the character of their host, he remembered the courtesy due to them
+as his guests, and he managed to do the honors of his cabin in a very
+commendable manner, considering that he said to himself, "for my own
+sake, I cannot be otherwise than civil to them; but I despise them,
+notwithstanding."</p>
+
+<p>There was much chattering that amounted to nothing; and much admiration
+of the cabin, by which, instead of pleasing Uncle Philip, they only
+incurred his farther contempt, by admiring always in the wrong place,
+and evincing an ignorance of ships that he thought unpardonable in
+people that had crossed the Atlantic. On Sam being introduced to them,
+there were many overstrained compliments on his beauty, and what they
+called his <i>air distingué</i>. Monsieur Franchimeau thought that <i>le jeune
+Sammi</i><a name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a> greatly resembled Mr. Irvine Voshintone, whom he had seen in
+Paris; but Monsieur Ravigote thought him more like the portrait of Sir
+Valter Scotch. Madame Franchimeau likened him to the head of the Apollo
+Belvidere, and Madame Ravigote to the Duke of Berry. But all agreed that
+he had a general resemblance to La Fayette, with a slight touch of Dr.
+Franklin. However these various similitudes might be intended as
+compliments, they afforded no gratification to Uncle Philip, whose
+secret opinion was, that if Sam looked like anybody, it was undoubtedly
+Paul Jones. And during this examination, Sam was not a little
+disconcerted at being seized by the shoulders and twirled round, and
+taken sometimes by the forehead and sometimes by the chin, that his face
+might be brought into the best light for discovering all its affinities.</p>
+
+<p>There was then an attempt at general conversation, the chief part of
+which was borne by the ladies, or rather by Madame Franchimeau, who
+thought in her duty to atone for the dogged taciturnity of her husband.
+Monsieur Franchimeau, unlike the generality of his countrymen, neither
+smiled, bowed, nor complimented. Having a great contempt for the manners
+of the <i>vieille cour</i><a name="FNanchor_7_7" id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a> and particularly for those of his
+father-in-law; he piqued himself on his <i>brusquerie</i>,<a name="FNanchor_8_8" id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a> and his almost
+total disregard of <i>les bienséances</i>,<a name="FNanchor_9_9" id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a> and set up <i>un esprit
+fort</i>:<a name="FNanchor_10_10" id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" class="fnanchor">[10]</a> but he took care to talk as little as possible, lest his
+claims to that character should be suspected.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip, though he scorned to acknowledge it, was not in reality
+destitute of all comprehension of the French language, having picked up
+some little acquaintance with it from having, in the course of his
+wanderings, been at places where nothing else was spoken; and though
+determined on being displeased, he was amused, in spite of himself, at
+some of the tirades of Madame Franchimeau. Understanding that Monsieur
+Philippe (as much to his annoyance she called him) had just returned
+from the West Indies, she began to talk of Cape François, and the
+insurrection of the blacks, in which, she said, she had lost her first
+husband, Monsieur Mascaron. "By this terrible blow," said she, "I was
+<i>parfaitement abimé</i>,<a name="FNanchor_11_11" id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" class="fnanchor">[11]</a> and I refused all consolation till it was my
+felicity to inspire Monsieur Franchimeau with sentiments the most
+profound. But my heart will for ever preserve a tender recollection of
+my well-beloved Alphonse. Ah! my Alphonse&mdash;his manners were adorable.
+However, my regards are great for <i>mon ami</i><a name="FNanchor_12_12" id="FNanchor_12_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_12" class="fnanchor">[12]</a> Monsieur Franchimeau. It
+is true, he is <i>un pen brusque&mdash;c'est son caractère</i>.<a name="FNanchor_13_13" id="FNanchor_13_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_13_13" class="fnanchor">[13]</a> But his heart
+is of a goodness that is really inconceivable. He performs the most
+charming actions, and with a generosity that is heroic. <i>Ah! mon
+ami</i>&mdash;you hear me speak of you&mdash;but permit me the sad consolation of
+shedding yet a few tears for my respectable Alphonse."</p>
+
+<p>Madame Franchimeau then entered into an animated detail of the death of
+her first husband, who was killed before her eyes by the negroes; and
+she dwelt upon every horrid particular, till she had worked herself into
+a passion of tears. Just then, Fanny Clavering (who had for that purpose
+been sent up to the house by her mother) arrived with a servant carrying
+a waiter of pine-apples, sugar and Madeira.</p>
+
+<p>Madame Franchimeau stopped in the midst of her tears, and exclaimed&mdash;"<i>Ah!
+des ananas&mdash;mon ami (to her husband)&mdash;maman&mdash;papa&mdash;voyez&mdash;voyez&mdash;des
+ananas.</i><a name="FNanchor_14_14" id="FNanchor_14_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_14_14" class="fnanchor">[14]</a> Ah! my poorest Alphonse, great was his love for these&mdash;what
+you call them&mdash;apple de pine. He was just paring his apple de pine, when
+the detestable negroes rushed in and overset the table. <i>Ah! quel
+scène&mdash;une véritable tragédie!</i><a name="FNanchor_15_15" id="FNanchor_15_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_15_15" class="fnanchor">[15]</a> <i>Pardonnez</i>, Madame Colavering, I
+prefer a slice from the largest part of the fruit.&mdash;Ah! my amiable
+Alphonse&mdash;his blood flew all over my robe, which was of spotted Japan
+muslin. I wore that day a long sash of a broad ribbon of the colour of
+Aurore, fringed at both of its ends. When I was running away, he grasped
+it so hard that it came untied, and I left it in his hand.&mdash;May I beg
+the favour of some more sugar?&mdash;<i>Mon ami</i>, you always prefer the
+pine-apple bathed in Champagne."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," replied Franchimeau, "it does me no good, unless each slice is
+soaked in some wine of fine quality." But Mrs. Clavering acknowledging
+that she had no Champagne in the house, Franchimeau gruffly replied,
+that "he supposed Madeira might do."</p>
+
+<p>Madame then continued her story and her pine-apple. "<i>Ah! mon bien-aimé
+Alphonse</i>,"<a name="FNanchor_16_16" id="FNanchor_16_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_16_16" class="fnanchor">[16]</a> said she, "he had fourteen wounds&mdash;I will take another
+slice, if you please, Madame Colavering. There&mdash;there&mdash;a little more
+sugar. <i>Bien obligé</i><a name="FNanchor_17_17" id="FNanchor_17_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_17_17" class="fnanchor">[17]</a>&mdash;a little more still. <i>Maman, vous ne mangez
+pas de bon appetit. Ah! je comprens&mdash;vous voulez de la crème avec votre
+anana.</i><a name="FNanchor_18_18" id="FNanchor_18_18"></a><a href="#Footnote_18_18" class="fnanchor">[18]</a>&mdash;Madame Colavering, will you do mamma the favour to have
+some cream brought for her? and I shall not refuse some for myself.
+Ah! <i>mon Alphonse</i>&mdash;the object of my first grand passion! He
+exhibited in dying some contortions that were hideous&mdash;<i>absolument
+effroyable</i><a name="FNanchor_19_19" id="FNanchor_19_19"></a><a href="#Footnote_19_19" class="fnanchor">[19]</a>&mdash;they are always present before my eyes&mdash;Madame
+Colavering, I would prefer those two under slices; they are the best
+penetrated with the sugar, and also well steeped in the <i>jus</i>."<a name="FNanchor_20_20" id="FNanchor_20_20"></a><a href="#Footnote_20_20" class="fnanchor">[20]</a></p>
+
+<p>The cream was procured, and the two Madames did it ample justice.
+Presently the youngest of the French ladies opened her eyes very wide,
+and exclaimed to her father, "<i>Mon cher papa, vous n' avez pas déjà
+fini?</i>"<a name="FNanchor_21_21" id="FNanchor_21_21"></a><a href="#Footnote_21_21" class="fnanchor">[21]</a> "My good friend, Madame Colavering, you know, of course,
+that my papa cannot eat much fruit, unless it is accompanied by some
+<i>biscuit</i>&mdash;for instance, the cake you call sponge."</p>
+
+<p>"I was not aware of that," replied Mrs. Clavering.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Est-il possible?</i>"<a name="FNanchor_22_22" id="FNanchor_22_22"></a><a href="#Footnote_22_22" class="fnanchor">[22]</a> exclaimed the whole French family, looking at
+each other.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering then recollecting that there was some sponge-cake in the
+house, sent one of the children for it, and when it was brought, their
+French visiters all ate heartily of it; and she heard the <i>vieille
+maman</i><a name="FNanchor_23_23" id="FNanchor_23_23"></a><a href="#Footnote_23_23" class="fnanchor">[23]</a> saying to the <i>vieux papa</i>,<a name="FNanchor_24_24" id="FNanchor_24_24"></a><a href="#Footnote_24_24" class="fnanchor">[24]</a> "<i>Eh, mon ami, ce petit
+collation vient fort à-propos, comme notre déjeûner était seulement un
+mauvais salade.</i>"<a name="FNanchor_25_25" id="FNanchor_25_25"></a><a href="#Footnote_25_25" class="fnanchor">[25]</a></p>
+
+<p>The collation over, Mrs. Clavering, by way of giving her guests an
+opportunity of saying something that would please Uncle Philip, patted
+old Neptune on the head, and asked them if they had ever seen a finer
+dog?</p>
+
+<p>"I will show you a finer," replied Madame Franchimeau; "see, I have
+brought with me my interesting <i>Bijou</i>"&mdash;and she called in an ugly
+little pug that had been scrambling about the cabin door ever since
+their arrival, and whose only qualification was that of painfully
+sitting up on his hind legs, and shaking his fore-paws in the fashion
+that is called begging. His mistress, with much importunity, prevailed
+on him to perform this elegant feat, and she then rewarded him with a
+saucer-full of cream, sugar, and sponge-cake. He was waspish and
+snappish, and snarled at Jane Clavering when she attempted to play with
+him; upon which Neptune, with one blow of his huge forefoot, brought the
+pug to the ground, and then stood motionless, looking up in Uncle
+Philip's face, with his paw on the neck of the sprawling animal, who
+kicked and yelped most piteously. This interference of the old
+Newfoundlander gave great offence to the French family, who all
+exclaimed, "<i>Quelle horreur! Quelle abomination! En effet c'est
+trop!</i>"<a name="FNanchor_26_26" id="FNanchor_26_26"></a><a href="#Footnote_26_26" class="fnanchor">[26]</a></p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip could not help laughing; but Sam called off Neptune from
+Bijou, and set the fallen pug on his legs again, for which compassionate
+act he was complimented by the French ladies on his <i>bonté de
+c&oelig;ur</i>,<a name="FNanchor_27_27" id="FNanchor_27_27"></a><a href="#Footnote_27_27" class="fnanchor">[27]</a> and honoured at parting, with the title of <i>le doux
+Sammi</i>.<a name="FNanchor_28_28" id="FNanchor_28_28"></a><a href="#Footnote_28_28" class="fnanchor">[28]</a></p>
+
+<p>"I'll never return this visit," said Uncle Philip, after the French
+guests had taken their leave.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! but you <i>must</i>," replied Mrs. Clavering; "it was intended expressly
+for you&mdash;you <i>must</i> return it, in common civility."</p>
+
+<p>"But," persisted Uncle Philip, "I wish them to understand that I don't
+intend to treat them with common civility. A pack of selfish,
+ridiculous, impudent fools. No, no. I am not so prejudiced as to believe
+that all French people are as bad as these&mdash;many of them, no doubt, if
+we could only find where they are, may be quite as clever as the first
+lieutenant of that frigate; but, to their shame be it spoken, the best
+of them seldom visit America, and our country is overrun with ignorant,
+vulgar impostors, who, unable to get their bread at home, come here full
+of lies and pretensions, and to them and their quackery must our
+children be intrusted, in the hope of acquiring a smattering of French
+jabber, and at the risk of losing everything else."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't you think Uncle Philip always talks best when he's in a passion?"
+observed Dick to Sam.</p>
+
+<p>After Mrs. Clavering had returned to the house, Dick informed his uncle
+that, a few days before, she had made a dinner for the whole French
+family; and Captain Kentledge congratulated himself and Sam on their not
+arriving sooner from their voyage. Dick had privately told his brother
+that the behaviour of the guests, on this occasion, had not given much
+satisfaction. Mrs. Clavering, it seems, had hired, to dress the dinner,
+a mulatto woman that professed great knowledge of French cookery, having
+lived at one of the best hotels in New York. But Monsieur Franchimeau
+had sneered at all the French dishes as soon as he tasted them, and
+pretended not to know their names, or for what they were intended;
+Monsieur Ravigote had shrugged and sighed, and the ladies had declined
+touching them at all, dining entirely on what (as Dick expressed it)
+they called roast beef de mutton and natural potatoes.<a name="FNanchor_29_29" id="FNanchor_29_29"></a><a href="#Footnote_29_29" class="fnanchor">[29]</a></p>
+
+<p>It was not only his regard for the children that made Mrs. Clavering's
+French mania a source of great annoyance to Uncle Philip, but he soon
+found that much of the domestic comfort of the family was destroyed by
+this unaccountable freak, as he considered it. Mrs. Clavering was not
+young enough to be a very apt scholar, and so much of her time was
+occupied by learning her very long lessons, and writing her very long
+exercises, that her household duties were neglected in consequence. As
+in a provincial town it is difficult to obtain servants who can go on
+well without considerable attention from the mistress, the house was not
+kept in as nice order as formerly; the meals were at irregular hours,
+and no longer well prepared; the children's comfort was forgotten,
+their pleasures were not thought of, and the little girls grieved that
+no sweetmeats were to be made that season; their mother telling them
+that she had now no time to attend to such things. The children's
+story-books were taken from them, because they were now to read nothing
+but Telemaque; they were stopped short in the midst of their talk, and
+told to <i>parlez Français</i>.<a name="FNanchor_30_30" id="FNanchor_30_30"></a><a href="#Footnote_30_30" class="fnanchor">[30]</a> Even the parrots heard so much of it
+that, in a short time, they prated nothing but French.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip had put his positive veto on Sam's going to French school,
+and he insisted that little Anne had become pale and thin since she had
+been a pupil of the Franchimeaus. Mrs. Clavering, to pacify him,
+consented to withdraw the child from school; but only on condition that
+she was every day to receive a lesson at home, from old Mr. Ravigote.</p>
+
+<p>Anne Clavering was but five years old. As yet, no taste for French "had
+dawned upon her soul," and very little for English; her mind being
+constantly occupied with her doll, and other playthings. Monsieur
+Ravigote, with all the excitability of his nation, was, in the main, a
+very good-natured man, and was really anxious for the improvement of his
+pupil. But all was in vain. Little Anne never knew her lessons, and had
+as yet acquired no other French phrase than "<i>Oui, Monsieur</i>."<a name="FNanchor_31_31" id="FNanchor_31_31"></a><a href="#Footnote_31_31" class="fnanchor">[31]</a></p>
+
+<p>Every morning, Mr. Ravigote came with a face dressed in smiles, and
+earnest hope that his pupil was going that day to give him what he
+called "one grand satisfaction;" but the result was always the same.</p>
+
+<p>One morning, as Uncle Philip sat reading the newspaper, and holding
+little Anne on his knee while she dressed her doll, Mr. Ravigote came
+in, bowing and smiling as usual, and after saluting Captain Kentledge,
+he said to the little child: "Well, my dear little friend, <i>ma gentille
+Annette</i>,<a name="FNanchor_32_32" id="FNanchor_32_32"></a><a href="#Footnote_32_32" class="fnanchor">[32]</a> I see by the look of your countenance that I shall have
+one grand satisfaction with you this day. Application is painted on your
+visage, and docility also. Is there not, <i>ma chère</i>?"<a name="FNanchor_33_33" id="FNanchor_33_33"></a><a href="#Footnote_33_33" class="fnanchor">[33]</a></p>
+
+<p>"<i>Oui, Monsieur</i>," replied the little Anne.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>J'en suis ravi.</i><a name="FNanchor_34_34" id="FNanchor_34_34"></a><a href="#Footnote_34_34" class="fnanchor">[34]</a> Now, <i>ma chère, commençons&mdash;commençons tout de
+suite</i>."<a name="FNanchor_35_35" id="FNanchor_35_35"></a><a href="#Footnote_35_35" class="fnanchor">[35]</a></p>
+
+<p>Little Anne slowly descended from her uncle's knee, carefully put away
+her doll and folded up her doll's clothes, and then made a tedious
+search for her book.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Eh! bien, commençons</i>," said Mr. Ravigote, "you move without any
+rapidity."</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Oui, Monsieur</i>," responded little Anne, who, after she had taken her
+seat in a low chair beside Mr. Ravigote, was a long time getting into a
+comfortable position, and at last settled herself to her satisfaction by
+crossing her feet, leaning back as far as she could go, and hooking one
+finger in her coral necklace, that she might pull at it all the time.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Eh! bien, ma chère</i>; we will first have the lessons without the book,"
+said Mr. Ravigote, commencing with the vocabulary. "Tell me the names of
+all the months of the year&mdash;for instance, January."</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Janvier</i>," answered the pupil, promptly.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! very well, very well, indeed, <i>ma chère</i>&mdash;for once, you know the
+first word of your lesson. Ah! to-day I have, indeed, great hope of you.
+Come, now, February?"</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Fevrier</i>," said little Anne.</p>
+
+<p>"Excellent! excellent! you know the second word too&mdash;and now, then,
+March?"</p>
+
+<p>"Marsh."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! no, no&mdash;but I am old; perhaps I did not rightly hear. Repeat, <i>ma
+chère enfant</i>,<a name="FNanchor_36_36" id="FNanchor_36_36"></a><a href="#Footnote_36_36" class="fnanchor">[36]</a> repeat."</p>
+
+<p>"Marsh," cried little Anne in a very loud voice.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! you are wrong; but I will pardon you&mdash;you have said two words
+right. <i>Mars, ma chère, Mars</i> is the French for March the month. Come
+now, April."</p>
+
+<p>"Aprile."</p>
+
+<p>"Aprile! there is no such word as Aprile&mdash;<i>Avril</i>. And now tell me, what
+is May?"</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Mai.</i>"</p>
+
+<p>"Excellent! excellent! capital! <i>magnifique!</i> you said that word
+<i>parfaitement bien</i>.<a name="FNanchor_37_37" id="FNanchor_37_37"></a><a href="#Footnote_37_37" class="fnanchor">[37]</a> Now let us proceed&mdash;June."</p>
+
+<p>"Juney."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! no, no&mdash;<i>Juin, ma chère, Juin</i>&mdash;but I will excuse you. Now, tell me
+July."</p>
+
+<p>Little Anne could make no answer.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! I fear&mdash;I begin to fear you. Are you not growing bad?"</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Oui, Monsieur</i>," said little Anne.</p>
+
+<p>"Come then; I will tell you this once&mdash;<i>Juillet</i> is the French for July.
+Now, tell me what is August?"</p>
+
+<p>"Augoost!"</p>
+
+<p>"Augoost! Augoost! there is no such a word. Why, you are very bad,
+indeed&mdash;<i>Août, Août, Août</i>."</p>
+
+<p>The manner in which Mr. Ravigote vociferated this rather uncouth word,
+roused Uncle Philip from his newspaper and his rocking-chair, and
+mistaking it for a howl of pain, he started up and exclaimed, "Hallo!"
+Mr. Ravigote turned round in amazement, and Uncle Philip continued,
+"Hey, what's the matter? Has anything hurt you? I thought I heard a
+howl."</p>
+
+<p>"Dear uncle," said little Anne, "Mr. Ravigote is not howling; he is only
+saying August in French."</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip bit his lip and resumed his paper. Mr. Ravigote proceeded,
+"September?" and his pupil repeated in a breath, as if she was afraid to
+stop an instant lest she should forget&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Septembre, Octobre, Novembre, Décembre."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! very well; very well, indeed," exclaimed Mr. Ravigote; "you have
+said these four words <i>comme il faut</i>;<a name="FNanchor_38_38" id="FNanchor_38_38"></a><a href="#Footnote_38_38" class="fnanchor">[38]</a> but it must be confessed they
+are not much difficult."</p>
+
+<p>He then proceeded with the remainder of her vocabulary lesson; but in
+vain&mdash;not another word did she say that had the least affinity to the
+right one. "Ah!" said he, "<i>je suis au desespoir</i>;<a name="FNanchor_39_39" id="FNanchor_39_39"></a><a href="#Footnote_39_39" class="fnanchor">[39]</a> I much expected
+of you this day, but you have overtumbled all my hopes. <i>Je suis
+abimé.</i>"<a name="FNanchor_40_40" id="FNanchor_40_40"></a><a href="#Footnote_40_40" class="fnanchor">[40]</a></p>
+
+<p>"<i>Oui, Monsieur</i>, said little Anne.</p>
+
+<p>"You are one <i>mauvais sujet</i>,"<a name="FNanchor_41_41" id="FNanchor_41_41"></a><a href="#Footnote_41_41" class="fnanchor">[41]</a> pursued the teacher, beginning to
+lose his patience; "punishment is all that you merit. <i>Mais allons,
+essayons encore.</i>"<a name="FNanchor_42_42" id="FNanchor_42_42"></a><a href="#Footnote_42_42" class="fnanchor">[42]</a></p>
+
+<p>Just at that moment the string of little Anne's beads (at which she had
+been pulling during the whole lesson) broke suddenly in two, and the
+beads began to shower down, a few into her lap, but most of them on the
+floor.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Oh! quel dommage!</i>"<a name="FNanchor_43_43" id="FNanchor_43_43"></a><a href="#Footnote_43_43" class="fnanchor">[43]</a> exclaimed Mr. Ravigote; "<i>Mais n'importe,
+laissez-les</i>,<a name="FNanchor_44_44" id="FNanchor_44_44"></a><a href="#Footnote_44_44" class="fnanchor">[44]</a> and continue your lesson."</p>
+
+<p>But poor Mr. Ravigote found it impossible to make the little girl pay
+the slightest attention to him while her beads were scattered on the
+floor; and his only alternative was to stoop down and help her to pick
+them up. Uncle Philip raised his eyes from the paper, and said, "Never
+mind the beads, my dear; finish the lesson, and I will buy you a new
+coral necklace to-morrow, and a much prettier one than that."</p>
+
+<p>Little Anne instantly rose from the floor, and whisking into her chair,
+prepared to resume her lesson with alacrity.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Eh! bien</i>," said the teacher, "now we will start off again, and read
+the inside of a book. Come, here is the fable of the fox and the grapes.
+These are the fables that we read during the <i>ancien régime</i>; there are
+none so good now."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Ravigote then proceeded to read with her, translating as he went on,
+and making her repeat after him&mdash;"A fox of Normandy, (some say of
+Gascony,) &amp;c., &amp;c. Now, my dear, you must try this day and make a copy
+of the nasal sounds as you hear them from me. It is in these sounds that
+you are always the very worst. The nasal sounds are the soul and the
+life of French speaking."</p>
+
+<p>The teacher bent over the book, and little Anne followed his
+pronunciation more closely than she had ever done before: he exclaiming
+at every sentence, "Very well&mdash;very well, indeed, my dear. To-day you
+have the nasal sounds, <i>comme une ange</i>."<a name="FNanchor_45_45" id="FNanchor_45_45"></a><a href="#Footnote_45_45" class="fnanchor">[45]</a></p>
+
+<p>But on turning round to pat her head, he perceived that <i>gentille
+Annette</i> was holding her nose between her thumb and finger, and that it
+was in this way only she had managed to give him satisfaction with the
+nasal sounds. He started back aghast, exclaiming&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Ah! quelle friponnerie! la petite coquine! Voici un grand acte de
+fourberie et de méchanceté!</i><a name="FNanchor_46_46" id="FNanchor_46_46"></a><a href="#Footnote_46_46" class="fnanchor">[46]</a> So young and so depraved&mdash;ah! I fear, I
+much fear, she will grow up a rogue-a cheat&mdash;perhaps a thief. <i>Je suis
+glacé d'horreur! Je tremble! Je frissonne!</i>"<a name="FNanchor_47_47" id="FNanchor_47_47"></a><a href="#Footnote_47_47" class="fnanchor">[47]</a></p>
+
+<p>"I'll tell you what," said Uncle Philip, laying down his newspaper, "you
+need neither tremble nor frisson, nor get yourself into any horror about
+it. The child's only a girl of five years old, and I've no notion that
+the little tricks, that all children are apt to play at times, are
+proofs of natural wickedness, or signs that they will grow up bad men
+and women. But to cut the matter short, the girl is too little to learn
+French. She is not old enough either to understand it, or to remember
+it, and you see it's impossible for her to give her mind to it. So from
+this time, I say, she shall learn no more French till she is grown up,
+and desires it herself. (<i>Little Anne gave a skip half way to the
+ceiling.</i>) You shall be paid for her quarter all the same, and I'll pay
+you myself on the spot. So you need never come again."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Ravigote was now from head to foot all one smile; and bowing with
+his hands on his heart, he, at Uncle Philip's desire, mentioned the sum
+due for a quarter's attempt at instruction. Uncle Philip immediately
+took the money out of his pocket-book, saying, "There,&mdash;there is a
+dollar over; but you may keep it yourself: I want no change. I suppose
+my niece, Kitty Clavering, will not be pleased at my sending you off;
+but she will have to get over it, for I'll see that child tormented no
+longer."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Ravigote thought in his own mind, that the torment had been much
+greater to him than to the child; but he was so full of gratitude, that
+he magnanimously offered to take the blame on himself, and represent to
+Mrs. Clavering that it was his own proposal to give up Mademoiselle
+Annette, as her organ of French was not yet developed.</p>
+
+<p>"No, no," said Uncle Philip, "I am always fair and above-board. I want
+nobody to shift the blame from my shoulders to their own. Whatever I do,
+I'll stand by manfully. I only hope that you'll never again attempt to
+teach French to babies."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Ravigote took leave with many thanks, and on turning to bid his
+adieu to the little girl, he found that she had already vanished from
+the parlour, and was riding about the green on the back of old Neptune.</p>
+
+<p>When Uncle Philip told Mrs. Clavering of his dismissal of Mr. Ravigote,
+she was so deeply vexed, that she thought it most prudent to say
+nothing, lest she should be induced to say too much.</p>
+
+<p>A few days after this event, Madame Franchimeau sent an invitation,
+written in French, for Mrs. Clavering, and "Monsieur Philippe" to pass
+the evening at her house, and partake of a <i>petit souper</i>,<a name="FNanchor_48_48" id="FNanchor_48_48"></a><a href="#Footnote_48_48" class="fnanchor">[48]</a> bringing
+with them <i>le doux Sammi</i>, and <i>la belle Fanchette</i>.<a name="FNanchor_49_49" id="FNanchor_49_49"></a><a href="#Footnote_49_49" class="fnanchor">[49]</a> This supper
+was to celebrate the birthday of her niece, Mademoiselle Robertine, who
+had just arrived from New York, and was to spend a few weeks at Corinth.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip had never yet been prevailed on to enter the French house,
+as he called it; and on this occasion he stoutly declared off, saying
+that he had no desire to see any more of their foolery, and that he
+hated the thoughts of a French supper. "My friend, Tom Logbook," said
+he, "who commands the packet Louis Quatorze, and understands French,
+told me of a supper to which he was invited the first time he was at
+Havre, and of the dishes he was expected to eat, and I shall take care
+never to put myself in the way of such ridiculous trash. Why, he told me
+there was wooden-leg soup, and bagpipes of mutton, and rabbits in
+spectacles, and pullets in silk stockings, and potatoes in shirts.<a name="FNanchor_50_50" id="FNanchor_50_50"></a><a href="#Footnote_50_50" class="fnanchor">[50]</a>
+Answer me now, are such things fit for Christians to eat?"</p>
+
+<p>For a long time Mrs. Clavering tried in vain to prevail on Uncle Philip
+to accept of the invitation. At last Dick suggested a new persuasive.
+"Mother," said he, "I have no doubt Uncle Philip would go to the French
+supper, if you will let us all have a holiday from school for a week."</p>
+
+<p>"That's a good thought, Dick," exclaimed the old gentleman. "Yes, I
+think I would. Well, on these terms I will go, and eat trash. I suppose
+I shall live through it. But remember now, this is the first and last
+and only time I will ever enter a French house."</p>
+
+<p>After tea, the party set out for Monsieur Franchimeau's, and were
+ushered into the front parlour, which was fitted up in a manner that
+exhibited a strange <i>mélange</i> of slovenliness and pretension. There was
+neither carpet nor matting, and the floor was by no means in the nicest
+order; but there were three very large looking-glasses, the plates being
+all more or less cracked, and the frames sadly tarnished. The chairs
+were of two different sorts, and of very ungenteel appearance; but there
+was a kind of Grecian sofa, or lounge, with a gilt frame much defaced,
+and a red damask cover much soiled; and, in the centre of the room,
+stood a <i>fauteuil</i><a name="FNanchor_51_51" id="FNanchor_51_51"></a><a href="#Footnote_51_51" class="fnanchor">[51]</a> covered with blue moreen, the hair poking out in
+tufts through the slits. The windows were decorated with showy curtains
+of coarse pink muslin and marvellously coarse white muslin; the drapery
+suspended from two gilt arrows, one of which had lost its point, and the
+other had parted with its feather. The hearth was filled with rubbish,
+such as old pens, curl-papers, and bits of rag; but the mantel-piece was
+adorned with vases of artificial flowers under glass bells, and two
+elegant chocolate cups of French china.</p>
+
+<p>The walls were hung with a dozen bad lithographic prints, tastefully
+suspended by bows of gauze ribbon. Among these specimens of the worst
+style of the modern French school, was a Cupid and Psyche, with a
+background that was the most prominent part of the picture, every leaf
+of every tree on the distant mountains being distinctly defined and
+smoothly finished. The clouds seemed unwilling to stay behind the hills,
+but had come so boldly forward and looked so like masses of stone, that
+there was much apparent danger of their falling on the heads of the
+lovers and crushing them to atoms. Psyche was an immensely tall, narrow
+woman, of a certain age, and remarkably strong features; and Cupid was a
+slender young man, of nineteen or twenty, about seven feet high, with
+long tresses descending to his waist.</p>
+
+<p>Another print represented a huge muscular woman, with large coarse
+features distorted into the stare and grin of a maniac, an enormous lyre
+in her hand, a cloud of hair flying in one direction, and a volume of
+drapery exhibiting its streaky folds in another; while she is running to
+the edge of a precipice, as if pursued by a mad bull, and plunging
+forward with one foot in the air, and her arms extended above her head.
+This was Sappho on the rock of Leucate. These two prints Mr. Franchimeau
+(who professed connoisseurship, and always talked when pictures were the
+subject&mdash;that is, French pictures) pointed out to his visiters as
+magnificent emanations of the Fine Arts. "The coarse arts, rather,"
+murmured Uncle Philip.</p>
+
+<p>The guests were received with much suavity by the French ladies and the
+<i>vieux</i> papa; and Capt. Kentledge was introduced by Madame Franchimeau
+to three little black-haired girls, with surprisingly yellow faces, who
+were designated by the mother as "<i>mon aimable Lulu, ma mignonne Mimi,
+and ma petite ange Gogo</i>."<a name="FNanchor_52_52" id="FNanchor_52_52"></a><a href="#Footnote_52_52" class="fnanchor">[52]</a> Uncle Philip wondered what were the real
+names of these children.</p>
+
+<p>After this, Madame Franchimeau left the room for a moment, and returned,
+leading in a very pretty young girl, whom she introduced as her <i>très
+chère niece, Mademoiselle Robertine</i>,<a name="FNanchor_53_53" id="FNanchor_53_53"></a><a href="#Footnote_53_53" class="fnanchor">[53]</a> orphan daughter of a brother
+of her respectable Alphonse.</p>
+
+<p>Robertine had a neat French figure, a handsome French face, and a
+profusion of hair arranged precisely in the newest style of the wax
+figures that decorate the windows of the most fashionable
+<i>coiffeurs</i>.<a name="FNanchor_54_54" id="FNanchor_54_54"></a><a href="#Footnote_54_54" class="fnanchor">[54]</a> She was dressed in a thin white muslin, with a short
+black silk apron, embroidered at the corners with flowers in colours.
+Mr. Franchimeau resigned to her his chair beside Uncle Philip, to whom
+(while her aunt and the Ravigotes were chattering and shrugging to Mrs.
+Clavering) she addressed herself with considerable fluency and in good
+English. People who have known but little of the world, and of the best
+tone of society, are apt, on being introduced to new acquaintances, to
+talk to them at once of their profession, or in reference to it; and
+Robertine questioned Uncle Philip about his ships and his voyages, and
+took occasion to tell him that she had always admired the character of a
+sailor, and still more that of a captain; that she thought the brown
+tinge given by the sea air a great improvement to a fine manly
+countenance; that fair-complexioned people were her utter aversion, and
+that a gentleman was never in his best looks till he had attained the
+age of forty, or, indeed, of forty-five.</p>
+
+<p>"Then I am long past the age of good looks," said Uncle Philip, "for I
+was sixty-two the sixth of last June."</p>
+
+<p>"Is it possible!" exclaimed Robertine. "I had no idea that Captain
+Kentledge could have been more than forty-three or forty-four at the
+utmost. But gentlemen who have good health and amiable dispositions,
+never seem to grow old. I have known some who were absolutely charming
+even at seventy."</p>
+
+<p>"Pshaw!" said Uncle Philip, half aside.</p>
+
+<p>Robertine, who had been tutored by her aunt Franchimeau, ran on with a
+tirade of compliments and innuendos, so glaring as to defeat their own
+purpose. Sam, who sat opposite, and was a shrewd lad, saw in a moment
+her design, and could not forbear at times casting significant looks
+towards his uncle. The old captain perfectly comprehended the meaning of
+those looks, and perceived that Mademoiselle Robertine was spreading
+her net for him. Determining not to be caught, he received all her
+smiles with a contracted brow; replied only in monosyllables; and, as
+she proceeded, shut his teeth firmly together, closed his lips tightly,
+pressed his clenched hands against the sides of his chair, and sat bolt
+upright; resolved on answering her no more.</p>
+
+<p>About nine o'clock, the door of the back parlour was thrown open by the
+little mulatto girl, and Madame Franchimeau was seen seated at the head
+of the supper-table. Mr. Franchimeau led in Mrs. Clavering; Mr. Ravigote
+took Fanny; Madame Ravigote gave her hand to Sam, and Robertine, of
+course, fell to the lot of Uncle Philip, who touched with a very ill
+grace the fingers that she smilingly extended to him.</p>
+
+<p>In the centre of the supper-table was a salad decorated with roses, and
+surrounded by four candles. The chief dish contained <i>blanquettes</i> of
+veal; and the other viands were a <i>fricandeau</i> of calves' ears; a
+<i>purée</i> of pigs' tails; a <i>ragout</i> of sheep's feet, and another of
+chickens' pinions interspersed with claws; there was a dish of turnips
+with mustard, another of cabbage with cheese, a bread omelet, a plate of
+poached eggs, a plate of sugar-plums, and a dish of hashed fish, which
+Madame Franchimeau called a <i>farce</i>.</p>
+
+<p>As soon as they were seated, Robertine took a rose from the salad, and
+with a look of considerable sentiment, presented it to Uncle Philip, who
+received it with a silent frown, and took an opportunity of dropping it
+on the floor, when Sam slyly set his foot on it and crushed it flat. The
+young lady then mixed a glass of <i>eau sucré</i><a name="FNanchor_55_55" id="FNanchor_55_55"></a><a href="#Footnote_55_55" class="fnanchor">[55]</a> for the old gentleman,
+saying very sweet things all the time; but the beverage was as little to
+his taste as the Hebe that prepared it.</p>
+
+<p>The French children were all at table, and the youngest girl looking
+somewhat unwell, and leaving her food on her plate, caused Mrs.
+Clavering to make a remark on her want of appetite.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>N'importe</i>,"<a name="FNanchor_56_56" id="FNanchor_56_56"></a><a href="#Footnote_56_56" class="fnanchor">[56]</a> said Madame Franchimeau; "she is not affamished; she
+did eat very hearty at her tea; she had shesnoot for her tea."</p>
+
+<p>"Chestnuts!" exclaimed Mrs. Clavering.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, yes; we have them at times. <i>N'importe</i>, my little Gogo; cease your
+supper, you will have the better appetite for your breakfast. You shall
+have an apple for your breakfast&mdash;a large, big apple. Monsieur Philippe,
+permit me to help you to some of this fish; you will find it a most
+excellent <i>farce</i>:<a name="FNanchor_57_57" id="FNanchor_57_57"></a><a href="#Footnote_57_57" class="fnanchor">[57]</a> I have preserved it from corruption by a process
+of vinegar and salt, and some charcoal. Madame Colavering, I will show
+you that mode of restoring fish when it begins to putrefy: a great
+chemist taught it to my assassined Alphonse."</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip pushed away his plate with unequivocal signs of disgust,
+and moved back his chair, determined not to taste another mouthful while
+he stayed in the house. Suspicious of everything, he even declined
+Robertine's solicitations to take a glass of <i>liqueur</i> which she poured
+out for him, and which she assured him was genuine <i>parfait amour</i>.<a name="FNanchor_58_58" id="FNanchor_58_58"></a><a href="#Footnote_58_58" class="fnanchor">[58]</a>
+During supper, she had talked to him, in a low voice, of the great
+superiority of the American nation when compared with the French; and
+regretted the frivolity and <i>inconsequence</i> of the French character; but
+assured him that when French ladies had the honour of marrying American
+gentlemen, they always lost that inconsequence, and acquired much depth
+and force.</p>
+
+<p>After supper, Mr. Franchimeau, who, notwithstanding his taciturnity and
+<i>brusquerie</i>, was what Uncle Philip called a Jack of all trades, sat
+down to an old out-of-tune piano, that stood in one of the recesses of
+the back parlour, and played an insipid air of "Paul at the Tomb of
+Virginia," singing with a hoarse stentorian voice half-a-dozen
+namby-pamby stanzas, lengthening out or contracting some of the words,
+and mispronouncing others to suit the measure and the rhyme. This song,
+however, seemed to produce great effect on the French part of his
+audience, who sighed, started, and exclaimed&mdash;"<i>Ah! quels sont touchans,
+ces sentimens sublimes!</i>"<a name="FNanchor_59_59" id="FNanchor_59_59"></a><a href="#Footnote_59_59" class="fnanchor">[59]</a></p>
+
+<p>"<i>Ma chère amie</i>," continued Madame Franchimeau, pressing the hand of
+Mrs. Clavering, "<i>permettez que je pleure un peu le triste destin de
+l'innocence et de la vertu&mdash;infortuné Paul&mdash;malheureuse Virginie</i>;"<a name="FNanchor_60_60" id="FNanchor_60_60"></a><a href="#Footnote_60_60" class="fnanchor">[60]</a>
+and she really seemed to shed tears.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip could no longer restrain himself, but he started from his
+chair and paced the room in evident discomposure at the folly and
+affectation that surrounded him; his contempt for all men that played on
+pianos being much heightened by the absurd appearance of the huge
+black-whiskered, shock-headed Monsieur Franchimeau, with his long
+frock-coat hanging down all over the music-stool. Robertine declined
+playing, alleging that she had none of her own music with her; and she
+privately told Uncle Philip that she had lost all relish for French
+songs, and that she was very desirous of learning some of the national
+airs of America&mdash;for instance, the Tars of Columbia. But still Uncle
+Philip's heart was iron-bound, and he deigned no other reply than, "I
+don't believe they'll suit you."</p>
+
+<p>A dance was then proposed by Madame Ravigote, and Robertine, "nothing
+daunted," challenged Uncle Philip to lead off with her; but, completely
+out of patience, he turned on his heel, and walked away without
+vouchsafing an answer. Robertine then applied to Sam, but with no better
+success, for as yet he had not learned that accomplishment, and she was
+finally obliged to dance with old Mr. Ravigote, while Madame Franchimeau
+took out her mother; Fanny danced with the lovely Lulu, and Mimi and
+Gogo with each other; Mr. Franchimeau playing cotillions for them.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip thought in his own mind that the dancing was the best part
+of the evening's entertainment, and old Madame Ravigote was certainly
+the best of the dancers; though none of the family were deficient in a
+talent which seems indigenous to the whole French nation.</p>
+
+<p>The cotillions were succeeded by cream of tartar lemonade, and a plate
+of sugar-plums enfolded in French mottoes, from which Robertine selected
+the most amatory, and presented them to Uncle Philip, who regularly made
+a point of giving them all back to her in silence, determined not to
+retain a single one, lest she might suppose he acknowledged the
+application.</p>
+
+<p>The old gentleman was very tired of the visit, and glad enough when Mrs.
+Clavering proposed departing. And all the way home his infatuated niece
+talked to him in raptures of the elegance of French people, and the vast
+difference between them and the Americans.</p>
+
+<p>"There is, indeed, a difference," said Uncle Philip, too much fatigued
+to argue the point that night.</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, after they had adjourned to the cabin, Sam addressed the
+old gentleman with, "Well, Uncle Philip, I wish you joy of the conquest
+you made last evening of the pretty French girl, Miss Robertine."</p>
+
+<p>"A conquest of <i>her</i>," replied Uncle Philip, indignantly; "the report of
+my dollars has made the conquest. I am not yet old enough to be taken in
+by such barefaced man&oelig;uvring. No, no; I am not yet in my dotage; and
+I heartily despise a young girl that is willing to sell herself to a man
+old enough to be her father."</p>
+
+<p>"I am glad you do," observed Sam; "I have often heard my mother say that
+such matches never fail to turn out badly, and to make both husband and
+wife miserable. We all think she talks very sensibly on this subject."</p>
+
+<p>"No doubt," said Uncle Philip.</p>
+
+<p>"I really wonder," pursued Sam, "that a Frenchwoman should venture to
+make love to <i>you</i>."</p>
+
+<p>"Love!" exclaimed Uncle Philip; "I tell you, there's no love in the
+case. I am not such a fool as to believe that a pretty young girl could
+fall in love with an old fellow like <i>me</i>. No, no; all she wants is,
+that I should die as soon as possible and leave her a rich widow: but
+she will find her mistake; she shall see that all her sweet looks and
+sweet speeches will have no effect on me but to make me hate her. She
+might as well attempt to soften marble by dropping honey on it."</p>
+
+<p>"You'll be not only marble, but granite, also, won't you, Uncle Philip?"
+said Sam.</p>
+
+<p>"That I will, my boy," said the old gentleman; "and now let's talk of
+something else."</p>
+
+<p>After this, no persuasion could induce Uncle Philip to repeat his visit
+to the Franchimeaus; and when any of that family came to Mrs.
+Clavering's he always left the room in a few minutes, particularly if
+they were accompanied by Robertine. In short, he now almost lived in his
+cabin, laying strict injunctions on Mrs. Clavering not to bring thither
+any of the French.</p>
+
+<p>One morning, while he was busy there with Sam, Dick, and Neptune, the
+boys, happening to look out, saw Robertine listlessly rambling on the
+bank of the river, and entirely alone. There was every appearance of a
+shower coming up. "I suppose," said Dick, "Miss Robertine intends going
+to our house; and if she does not make haste, she will be caught in the
+rain. There, now, she is looking up at the clouds. See, see&mdash;she is
+coming this way as fast as she can."</p>
+
+<p>"Confound her impudence!" said Uncle Philip; "is she going to ferret me
+out of my cabin? Sam, shut that door."</p>
+
+<p>"Shall I place the great chest against it?" said Sam.</p>
+
+<p>"Pho&mdash;no," replied the old gentleman. "With all her assurance, she'll
+scarcely venture to break in by force. I would not for a thousand
+dollars that she should get a footing here."</p>
+
+<p>Presently a knock was heard at the door.</p>
+
+<p>"There she is," said Dick.</p>
+
+<p>"Let us take no notice," said Sam.</p>
+
+<p>"After all," said Uncle Philip, "she's a woman; and a woman must not be
+exposed to the rain, when a man can give her a shelter. We must let her
+in; nothing else can be done with her."</p>
+
+<p>Upon this, Sam opened the door; and Robertine, with many apologies for
+her intrusion, expressed her fear of being caught in the rain, and
+begged permission to wait there till the shower was over.</p>
+
+<p>"I was quite lost in a reverie," said she, "as I wandered on the shore
+of the river. Retired walks are now best suited to my feelings. When the
+heart has received a deep impression, nothing is more delicious than to
+sigh in secret."</p>
+
+<p>"Fudge!" muttered Uncle Philip between his teeth.</p>
+
+<p>"Uncle Philip says fudge," whispered Dick to Sam.</p>
+
+<p>"I'm glad of it," whispered Sam to Dick.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip handed Robertine a chair, and she received this
+common-place civility with as much evident delight as if he had
+proffered her "the plain gold ring."</p>
+
+<p>"Sam," said the old gentleman, "run to the house as fast as you can, and
+bring an umbrella, and then see Miss Robertine home."</p>
+
+<p>"That I will, uncle," said Sam, with alacrity.</p>
+
+<p>Robertine then began to admire the drawings on the wall, and
+said&mdash;"Apparently, these are all ships that Captain Kentledge has taken
+in battle?"</p>
+
+<p>"No," replied Uncle Philip, "I never took any ship in battle; I always
+belonged to the merchant service."</p>
+
+<p>Robertine was now at fault; but soon recovering herself, she
+continued&mdash;"No doubt if you <i>had</i> been in battle, you <i>would</i> have taken
+ships; for victory always crowns the brave, and my opinion is, that all
+Americans are brave of course; particularly if they are gentlemen of the
+sea."</p>
+
+<p>"And have plenty of cash," Uncle Philip could not avoid saying.</p>
+
+<p>Robertine coloured to the eyes; and Uncle Philip checked himself, seeing
+that he had been too severe upon her. "I must not forget that she is a
+woman," thought he; "while she stays, I will try to be civil to her."</p>
+
+<p>But Robertine was too thoroughly resolved on carrying her point to be
+easily daunted; and, in half a minute, she said with a smile&mdash;"I see
+that Captain Kentledge will always have his jest. Wit is one of the
+attributes of his profession."</p>
+
+<p>Her admiration of the ships not having produced much effect, Robertine
+next betook herself to admiring the dog Neptune, who was lying at his
+master's feet, and she gracefully knelt beside him and patted his head,
+saying&mdash;"What a magnificent animal! The most splendid dog I ever saw!
+What a grand and imposing figure! How sensible and expressive is his
+face!"</p>
+
+<p>Dick found it difficult to suppress an involuntary giggle, for it struck
+him that Robertine must have heard the remark which was very current
+through the village, of Neptune's face having a great resemblance to
+Uncle Philip's own.</p>
+
+<p>Where is the man that, being "the fortunate possessor of a Newfoundland
+dog," can hear his praises without emotion? Uncle Philip's ice began to
+thaw. All the blandishments that Robertine had lavished on himself,
+caused no other effect than disgust; but the moment she appeared to like
+his dog, his granite heart began to soften, and he felt a disposition to
+like <i>her</i> in return. He cast a glance towards Robertine as she caressed
+old Neptune, and he thought her so pretty that the glance was succeeded
+by a gaze. He put out his hand to raise her from her kneeling attitude,
+and actually placed a chair for her beside his own. Robertine thought
+herself in Paradise, for she saw that her last arrow had struck the
+mark. Uncle Philip's stubborn tongue was now completely loosened, and he
+entered into an eloquent detail of the numerous excellencies of the
+noble animal, and related a story of his life having been saved by
+Neptune during a shipwreck.</p>
+
+<p>To all this did Robertine "most seriously incline." She listened with
+breathless interest, was startled, terrified, anxious, delighted, and
+always in the right place; and when the story was finished, she
+pronounced Newfoundland dogs the best of all created animals, and
+Neptune the best of all Newfoundland dogs.</p>
+
+<p>Just then Sam arrived with the umbrella.</p>
+
+<p>"Sam," said Uncle Philip, "you may give <i>me</i> the umbrella; I will see
+Miss Robertine home myself. But I think she had better wait till the
+rain is over."</p>
+
+<p>This last proposal Robertine thought it most prudent to decline, fearing
+that if she stayed till the rain ceased, Uncle Philip might no longer
+think it necessary to escort her home. Accordingly the old gentleman
+gave her his arm, and walked off with her under the umbrella. As soon as
+they were gone, Sam and Dick laughed out, and compared notes.</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon, after spending a considerable time at his toilet,
+Uncle Philip, without saying anything to the family, told one of the
+servants that he should not drink tea at home, and sallied off in the
+direction of Franchimeau's. He did not return till ten o'clock, and then
+went straight to bed without entering the sitting-room. The truth was,
+that when he conveyed Robertine home in the morning, he could not resist
+her invitation into the house; and he sat there long enough for Madame
+Ravigote (who, in frightful <i>dishabille</i>, was darning stockings in the
+parlour) to see that things wore a promising aspect. The old lady went
+to the school-room door, and called out Madame Franchimeau to inform her
+of the favourable change in the state of affairs: and it was decided
+that <i>le vieux Philippe</i><a name="FNanchor_61_61" id="FNanchor_61_61"></a><a href="#Footnote_61_61" class="fnanchor">[61]</a> (as they called him behind the scenes, for
+none of them, except Robertine, could say Kentledge), should be invited
+to tea, that the young lady might have an immediate opportunity of
+following up the success of the morning.</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, about eleven o'clock, Uncle Philip disappeared again, and
+was seen no more till dinner-time. When he came in, he took his seat at
+the table without saying a word, and there was something unusually queer
+in his look, and embarrassed in all his motions; and the children
+thought that he did not seem at all like himself. Little Anne, who sat
+always at his right hand, leaned back in her chair and looked behind
+him, and then suddenly exclaimed&mdash;"Why, Uncle Philip has had his queue
+cut off!"</p>
+
+<p>There was a general movement of surprise. Uncle Philip reddened,
+hesitated, and at last said, in a confused manner, "that he had for a
+long time thought his queue rather troublesome, and that he had recently
+been told that it made him look ten years older than he really was; and,
+therefore, he had stopped at the barber's, on his way home, and got rid
+of it."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering had never admired the queue; but she thought the loss of
+it, just at this juncture, looked particularly ominous.</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon she received a visit from her friend, Mrs. Slimbridge,
+who was scarcely seated when she commenced with&mdash;"Well, Mrs. Clavering,
+I understand you are shortly to have a new aunt, and I have come to
+congratulate you on the joyful occasion."</p>
+
+<p>"A new aunt?" said Mrs. Clavering; "I am really at a loss to understand
+your meaning!" looking, however, as if she understood it perfectly.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, certainly," replied Mrs. Slimbridge, "it can be no news to <i>you</i>
+that Captain Kentledge is going to be married to Madame Franchimeau's
+niece, Mademoiselle Robertine. He was seen, yesterday morning, walking
+with her under the same umbrella!"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, and what of that?" interrupted Mrs. Clavering, fretfully; "does a
+gentleman never hold an umbrella over a lady's head unless he intends to
+marry her?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, as yet they do," replied Mrs. Slimbridge, "but I know not how much
+longer even that piece of civility will be continued&mdash;gentlemen are now
+so much afraid of committing themselves. But seriously, his seeing her
+home in the rain is not the most important part of the story. He drank
+tea at Franchimeau's last evening, and paid a long visit at the house
+this morning; and Emilie, their mulatto girl, told Mrs. Pinxton's Mary,
+and my Phillis had it direct from <i>her</i>, that she overheard Miss
+Robertine, persuading Captain Kentledge to have his queue cut off. The
+good gentleman, it seems, held out for a long time, but at last
+consented to lose it. However, I do not vouch for the truth of that part
+of the statement. Old seafaring men are so partial to their hair, and it
+is a point on which they are so obstinate, that I scarcely think Miss
+Robertine would have ventured so far."</p>
+
+<p>"Some young girls have boldness enough for anything," said Mrs.
+Clavering, with a toss of her head, and knowing in her own mind that the
+queue was really off.</p>
+
+<p>"Well," continued Mrs. Slimbridge, "the story is all over town that it
+is quite a settled thing; and, as I said, I have hastened to
+congratulate you."</p>
+
+<p>"Congratulate me! For what?" said Mrs. Clavering; with much asperity.</p>
+
+<p>"Why," returned Mrs. Slimbridge, "you know these French people are your
+bosom friends, and of course you must rejoice in the prospect of a
+nearer connexion with them. To be sure, it would be rather more
+gratifying if Miss Robertine was in a somewhat higher walk of life. You
+know it is whispered, that she is only a mantua-maker's girl, and that
+the dear friend whom Madame Franchimeau talks about, as having adopted
+her beloved Robertine (though she takes care never to mention the name
+of that dear friend), is in reality no other than the celebrated Madame
+Gigot, in whose dressmaking establishment Mademoiselle is hired to
+work."</p>
+
+<p>"Horrible!" was Mrs. Clavering's involuntary exclamation; but recovering
+herself, she continued&mdash;"But I can assure you, Mrs. Slimbridge, that I
+am perfectly convinced there is not a word of truth in the whole story.
+Captain Kentledge has certainly his peculiarities, but he is a man of
+too much sense to marry a young wife; and besides, his regard for my
+children is so great, that I am convinced it is his firm intention to
+live single for their sakes, that he may leave them the whole of his
+property. He thinks too much of the family to allow his money to go out
+of it."</p>
+
+<p>"All that may be," answered Mrs. Slimbridge; "but when an old man falls
+in love with a young girl, his regard for his own relations generally
+melts away like snow before the fire. I think you had better speak to
+Captain Kentledge on the subject. I advise you, as a friend, to do so,
+unless you conclude that opposition may only render him the more
+determined. Certainly one would not like to lose so much money out of
+the family, without making a little struggle to retain it. However, I
+must now take my leave. As a friend, I advise you to speak to Captain
+Kentledge."</p>
+
+<p>"I can assure you," replied Mrs. Clavering, as she accompanied her guest
+to the door, "this silly report gives me not the slightest uneasiness,
+as it is too absurd to merit one serious thought. I shall dismiss it
+from my mind with silent contempt. To mention it to Captain Kentledge
+would be really too ridiculous."</p>
+
+<p>As soon as she had got rid of her visitor, Mrs. Clavering hastily threw
+on her calash, and repaired at a brisk pace to Uncle Philip's cabin. She
+found him at his desk, busily employed in writing out for Robertine the
+words of "America, Commerce, and Freedom." She made a pretext for
+sending away Sam, and told Uncle Philip that she wished some private
+conversation with him. The old gentleman coloured, laid down his pen,
+and began to sit very uneasy on his chair, guessing what was to come.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering then, without further hesitation, acquainted him with all
+she had heard, and asked him if it could possibly be true that he had
+any intention of marrying Robertine.</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know but I shall," said Uncle Philip.</p>
+
+<p>"You really shock me!" exclaimed Mrs. Clavering.</p>
+
+<p>"What is there so shocking," replied the old gentleman, "in my liking a
+pretty girl&mdash;ay, and in making her my wife, too, if I think proper? But
+that's as it may be&mdash;I have not yet made her the offer."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering breathed again. "Really, Uncle Philip," said she, "I
+thought you had more sense, and knew more of the world. Can you not see
+at once that all she wants is your money? It is impossible she could
+have any other inducement."</p>
+
+<p>"I thank you for your compliment," said Uncle Philip, pulling up his
+shirt collar and taking a glance at the looking-glass.</p>
+
+<p>"Is the man an absolute fool?" thought Mrs. Clavering: "what can have
+got into him?" Then raising her voice, she exclaimed&mdash;"Is this, then,
+the end of all your aversion to the French?"</p>
+
+<p>"Then you should not have put the French in my way," said Uncle Philip:
+"it is all your own fault; and if I <i>should</i> play the fool, you have
+nobody to thank but yourself. Why did you make me go to that supper?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, indeed!" replied Mrs. Clavering, with a sigh: "but knowing how
+much you dislike foreigners and all their ways, such an idea as your
+falling in love with a French girl never for a moment entered my mind.
+But I can tell you one thing that will effectually put all thoughts of
+Miss Robertine out of your head."</p>
+
+<p>"What is that?" said Uncle Philip, starting and changing colour.</p>
+
+<p>"When I tell you that she is a mantua-maker," pursued Mrs. Clavering,
+"and in the employ of Madame Gigot of New York, you, of course, can
+never again think of her as a wife."</p>
+
+<p>"And why not?" said Uncle Philip, recovering himself&mdash;"why should not a
+mantua-maker be thought of as a wife? If that's all you have to say
+against her, it only makes me like her the better. I honour the girl for
+engaging in a business that procures her a decent living, and prevents
+her from being burdensome to her friends. Don't you know that a man can
+always raise his wife to his own level? It is only a woman that sinks by
+marrying beneath her; as I used to tell you when you fell in love with
+the players, the first winter you spent in New York."</p>
+
+<p>"I deny the players&mdash;I deny them altogether," said Mrs. Clavering, with
+much warmth: "all I admired was their spangled jackets and their caps
+and feathers, and I had some curiosity to see how they looked off the
+stage, and therefore was always glad when I met any of them in the
+street."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, well," replied Uncle Philip, "let the players pass; I was only
+joking."</p>
+
+<p>"And even if it were true," resumed Mrs. Clavering, "that I had
+particularly admired one or two of the most distinguished performers, I
+was then but a mere child, and there is a great difference between
+playing the fool at sixteen and at sixty."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't see the folly," said Uncle Philip, "of marrying a pretty young
+girl, who is so devotedly attached to me that she cannot possibly help
+showing it continually."</p>
+
+<p>"Robertine attached to <i>you</i>!" retorted Mrs. Clavering. "And can you
+really believe such an absurdity?"</p>
+
+<p>"I thank you again for the compliment," replied Uncle Philip: "but I
+know that such things <i>have been</i>, strange as they may appear to you. I
+believe I have all my life undervalued myself; and this young lady has
+opened my eyes."</p>
+
+<p>"Blinded them, rather," said Mrs. Clavering. "But for your own sake, let
+me advise you to give up this girl. No marriage, where there is so great
+a disparity of years, ever did or could, or ever will or can, turn out
+well&mdash;and so you will find to your sorrow."</p>
+
+<p>"I rather think I shall try the experiment," said Uncle Philip. "If I am
+convinced that Miss Robertine has really a sincere regard for me, I
+shall certainly make her Mrs. Kentledge&mdash;so I must tell you candidly
+that you need not say another word to me on the subject."</p>
+
+<p>He resumed his writing, and Mrs. Clavering, after pausing a few moments,
+saw the inutility of urging anything further, and walked slowly and
+sadly back to the house. The children's quarters at school had nearly
+expired, and she delighted them all with the information that, finding
+they had not made as much progress in French as she had expected, and
+having reason to believe that the plan of learning everything through
+the medium of that language was not a good one, she had determined that
+after this week they should quit Monsieur and Madame Franchimeau, and
+return to Mr. Fulmer and Miss Hickman. She ceased visiting the French
+family, who, conscious that they would now be unwelcome guests, did not
+approach Mrs. Clavering's house. But Uncle Philip regularly spent every
+evening with Robertine; and Mrs. Clavering did not presume openly to
+oppose what she now perceived to be his fixed intention; but she
+indulged herself in frequent innuendoes against everything French, which
+the old gentleman was ashamed to controvert, knowing how very recently
+he had been in the practice of annoying his niece by the vehement
+expression of his own prejudices against that singular people; and he
+could not help acknowledging to himself that though he liked Robertine,
+all the rest of her family were still fools. That the Franchimeaus and
+Ravigotes were ridiculous, vulgar pretenders, Mrs. Clavering was no
+longer slow in discovering; but she was so unjust as to consider them
+fair specimens of their nation, and to turn the tables so completely as
+to aver that nothing French was endurable. She even silenced the parrots
+whenever they said, "<i>Parlons toujours François</i>."<a name="FNanchor_62_62" id="FNanchor_62_62"></a><a href="#Footnote_62_62" class="fnanchor">[62]</a></p>
+
+<p>One morning Uncle Philip was surprised in his cabin by the sudden
+appearance of a very tall, very slender young Frenchman, dressed in the
+extreme of dandyism; his long, thin face was of deadly whiteness, but
+his cheeks were tinted with rouge; he had large black eyes, and eyebrows
+arched up to a point; his immense whiskers were reddish, and met under
+his chin; but his hair was black, and arranged with great skill and care
+according to the latest fashion, and filling the apartment with the
+perfume of attar of roses.</p>
+
+<p>Immediately on entering, he strode up to Uncle Philip, and extending a
+hand whose fingers were decorated with half a dozen showy rings,
+presented to him a highly-scented rose-coloured card, which announced
+him as "Monsieur Achille Simagrée de Lantiponne, of Paris."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, sir," said Uncle Philip, "and I am Captain Philip Kentledge, once
+of Salem, Massachusetts, and now of Corinth, New York."</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Oui, je le sais</i>,"<a name="FNanchor_63_63" id="FNanchor_63_63"></a><a href="#Footnote_63_63" class="fnanchor">[63]</a> replied the Frenchman, in a loud shrill
+voice, and with a frown that was meant to be terrific. "<i>Oui,
+perfide&mdash;traitre&mdash;presque scélérat&mdash;tremblez! Je vous connois&mdash;tremblez,
+tremblez, je vous dit! Moi, c'est moi qui vous parle!</i>"<a name="FNanchor_64_64" id="FNanchor_64_64"></a><a href="#Footnote_64_64" class="fnanchor">[64]</a></p>
+
+<p>"What's all this for?" said Uncle Philip, looking amazed.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Imbecil</i>," muttered Monsieur de Lantiponne; "<i>il ne comprend pas le
+Français.</i><a name="FNanchor_65_65" id="FNanchor_65_65"></a><a href="#Footnote_65_65" class="fnanchor">[65]</a> <i>Eh, bien</i>; I will, then, address you (<i>roturier comme
+vous êtes</i><a name="FNanchor_66_66" id="FNanchor_66_66"></a><a href="#Footnote_66_66" class="fnanchor">[66]</a>) in perfect English, and very cool. How did you dare to
+have the temerity to rob from me the young miss, my <i>fiancée</i>, very soon
+my bride. Next month I should have conducted her up to the front of the
+altar. I had just taken four apartments in the Broadway&mdash;two for the
+exercise of my profession of artist in hair, and merchant of perfumes
+and all good smells; and two up the staircase, where Mademoiselle
+Robertine would pursue her dresses and her bonnets. United together, we
+should have made a large fortune. My father was a part of the noblesse
+of France, but we lost all our nobleness by the revolution. 'Virtue,
+though unfortunate, is always respectable;' that sentiment was inscribed
+above the door of my mamma's shop in the Palais Royal."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Uncle Philip, "and what next?"</p>
+
+<p>"What next, <i>coquin</i>?"<a name="FNanchor_67_67" id="FNanchor_67_67"></a><a href="#Footnote_67_67" class="fnanchor">[67]</a> continued the Frenchman, grinding his teeth.
+"Listen and die. Yesterday, I received from her this letter, enfolding a
+ring of my hair which once I had plaited for her. Now, I will overwhelm
+you with shame and repentance by reading to you this fatal letter,
+translating it into perfect English. <i>Ah! comme il est difficile
+d'étouffer mes emotions! N'importe, il faut un grand effort.</i>"<a name="FNanchor_68_68" id="FNanchor_68_68"></a><a href="#Footnote_68_68" class="fnanchor">[68]</a></p>
+
+<p>"Take a chair," said Uncle Philip, who was curious to know how all this
+would end; "when people are in great trouble, they had better be
+seated."</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Ecoutez</i>,"<a name="FNanchor_69_69" id="FNanchor_69_69"></a><a href="#Footnote_69_69" class="fnanchor">[69]</a> said Lantiponne; "hear this lettre." He then commenced
+the epistle, first reading audibly a sentence in French, and then
+construing it into English:&mdash;</p>
+
+<blockquote><p class="right"><span class="smcap">Corinth,&mdash;&mdash;.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">My ever dear Friend</span>:</p>
+
+<p>Destiny has decreed the separation of two hearts that should have
+been disunited by death alone, and has brought me acquainted with
+an old man who, since the moment of our introduction, has never
+ceased to persecute me with the language of love. In vain did I fly
+from him&mdash;for ever did he present himself before me with the most
+audacious perseverance. My aunt (and what affectionate niece can
+possibly disobey the commands of her father's sister-in-law?) has
+ordered me to accept him; and I must now, like a mournful dove, be
+sacrificed on the altar of Plutus. His name is Captain Kentledge,
+but we generally call him Old Philip&mdash;sometimes the Triton, and
+sometimes Sinbad, for he is a sailor, and very rich. He is a
+stranger both to elegance and sentiment; of an exterior perfectly
+revolting; and his manners are distinguished by a species of
+brutality. It is impossible for me to regard him without horror.
+But duty is the first consideration of a niece, and, though the
+detestable Philip knows that my heart is devoted to my amiable
+Achille, he takes a savage pleasure in urging me to name the day of
+our marriage. Compassionate me, my ever dear Lantiponne. I know it
+will be long before the wounds of our faithful hearts are
+cicatrized.</p>
+
+<p>I return you the little ring (so simple and so touching) that you
+made me of your hair. But I will keep for ever the gold
+essence-bottle and the silver toothpick, as emblems of your
+tenderness. I shall often bathe them with my tears.</p>
+
+<p>Adieu, my dear friend&mdash;my long-beloved Lantiponne. As Philip
+Kentledge is very bald, I shall, when we are married, compel him to
+wear a wig, and I will take care that he buys it of you. Likewise,
+we shall get all our perfumery at your shop.</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i6">The inconsolable<br /></span>
+<span class="i10"><span class="smcap">Robertine</span>.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>There are moments when my affliction is so great, that I think
+seriously of charcoal. If you find it impossible to survive the
+loss of your Robertine, that is the mode of death which you will
+undoubtedly select, as being most generally approved in Paris. For
+my own part, reason has triumphed, and I think it more heroic to
+live and to suffer.</p></blockquote>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip listened to this letter with all the indignation it was
+calculated to excite. But Sam and Dick were so diverted that they could
+not refrain from laughing all the time; and towards the conclusion, the
+old gentleman caught the contagion, and laughed also.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Ah! scélérat&mdash;monstre&mdash;ogre!</i>"<a name="FNanchor_70_70" id="FNanchor_70_70"></a><a href="#Footnote_70_70" class="fnanchor">[70]</a> exclaimed Lantiponne&mdash;"do you make
+your amusement of my sorrows? Render me, on this spot, the satisfaction
+due to a gentleman. It is for that I am come. Behold&mdash;here I offer you
+two pistoles&mdash;make your selection. Choose one this moment, or you die."</p>
+
+<p>"Sam," said Uncle Philip, "hand me that stick."</p>
+
+<p>"Which one, uncle?" exclaimed Sam&mdash;"the hickory or the maple?"</p>
+
+<p>"The hickory," replied Uncle Philip.</p>
+
+<p>And as soon as he got it into his hand, he advanced towards the
+Frenchman, who drew back, but still extended the pistols, saying&mdash;"I
+will shoot off both&mdash;instantly I will present fire!"</p>
+
+<p>"Present fire if you dare," said Uncle Philip, brandishing his stick.</p>
+
+<p>Monsieur Simagrée de Lantiponne lowered his pistols and walked backward
+towards the door, which was suddenly thrown open from without, so as
+nearly to push him down, and Robertine entered, followed by Madame
+Franchimeau. At the sight of Lantiponne, both ladies exclaimed&mdash;"<i>Ah!
+perfide! traitre!</i>" and a scene of violent recrimination took place in
+French&mdash;Madame Franchimeau declaring that she had never influenced her
+niece to give up her first lover for "Monsieur Philippe," but that the
+whole plan had originated with Robertine herself. Lantiponne, in
+deprecating the inconstancy of his mistress, complained bitterly of the
+useless expense he had incurred in hiring four rooms, when two would
+have sufficed, had he known in time that she intended to jilt him.
+Robertine reproached him with his dishonourable conduct in betraying her
+confidence and showing her letter to the very person who, above all
+others, ought not to have seen it; and she deeply regretted having been
+from home with her aunt and uncle when Lantiponne came to their house
+immediately on his arrival at Corinth, and before he had sought an
+interview with Captain Kentledge. He had seen only the old Ravigotes,
+who were so impolitic as to give him a direction to Uncle Philip's
+cabin, as soon as he inquired where his rival was to be found.</p>
+
+<p>The altercation was so loud and so violent, that Uncle Philip finally
+demanded silence in the startling and authoritative tone to which he had
+accustomed himself when issuing his orders on ship-board; putting his
+hands before his mouth and hallooing through them as substitutes for a
+speaking trumpet. He was not so ungallant as to say that in reality the
+lady had made the first advances, but he addressed his audience in the
+following words:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"I tell you what, my friends, here's a great noise to little purpose,
+and much shrugging, and stamping, and flourishing of hands, that might
+as well be let alone. As for me, take notice, that I am quite out of the
+question, and after this day I'll have nothing more to do with any of
+you. I'm thankful to this young fellow for having opened my eyes; though
+I can't approve of his showing me his sweetheart's letter. He has saved
+me from the greatest act of folly an old man can commit, that of
+marrying a young girl. I shall take care not to make a jackass of myself
+another time."</p>
+
+<p>Sam and Dick exchanged looks of congratulation.</p>
+
+<p>"Now," continued Uncle Philip, "if, after all this, the young barber-man
+is still willing to take the girl, I know not what better either of them
+can do than to get married off-hand. I shall not feel quite satisfied
+till I have seen the ceremony myself, so let it take place immediately.
+I happen to have a hundred dollar bill in my pocket-book, so I'll give
+it to them for a wedding present. Come, I'm waiting for an answer."</p>
+
+<p>Madame Franchimeau and the young couple all hesitated.</p>
+
+<p>"Uncle," whispered Sam, "they have just been quarrelling violently&mdash;how
+can you expect them to get over it so soon, and be married directly?"</p>
+
+<p>"Pho!" replied Uncle Philip, "an't they French?"</p>
+
+<p>There was a pause of some moments. At last Robertine put on her best
+smile, and said in French to Lantiponne&mdash;"My estimable friend, pardon
+the errors of a young and simple heart, which has never for a moment
+ceased to love you."</p>
+
+<p>"What candour!" exclaimed Lantiponne&mdash;"what adorable frankness! Charming
+Robertine!"&mdash;kissing her hand&mdash;"more dear to me than ever."</p>
+
+<p>The aunt, though much displeased at Robertine for missing Uncle Philip,
+thought it best that the affair should go off with as good a grace as
+possible, and she exclaimed, while she wiped tears of vexation from her
+eyes&mdash;"How sweet to witness this reunion!"</p>
+
+<p>"Boys," said Uncle Philip, "which of you will run for Squire Van
+Tackemfast? To prevent all future risks, we'll have the marriage here on
+the spot, and Miss Robertine shall return to New York to-day as
+Madame"&mdash;he had to consult the young Frenchman's card&mdash;"as Madame
+Achille Simagrée de Lantiponne."</p>
+
+<p>Both boys instantly set off for the magistrate, but as Sam ran fastest,
+Dick gave up the chase, and turned to the house, where he startled his
+mother by exclaiming&mdash;"Make haste&mdash;make haste down to the cabin&mdash;there's
+to be marrying there directly."</p>
+
+<p>"Shocking!" cried Mrs. Clavering, throwing away her sewing. "Is Uncle
+Philip really going to play the madman? Can there be no way of saving
+him?"</p>
+
+<p>"He <i>is</i> saved," replied Dick; "he has just been saved by a French
+barber, Miss Robertine's old sweetheart; and so Uncle Philip is going to
+have them married out of the way, as soon as possible. I suppose he is
+determined that Miss Robertine shall not have the least chance of making
+another dead set at him. Sam is gone for Squire Van Tackemfast."</p>
+
+<p>"But the cabin is no place for a wedding," said Mrs. Clavering.</p>
+
+<p>"Why," replied Dick, "Uncle Philip seems determined not to quit the
+cabin till all danger is over. Dear mother, make haste, or Miss
+Robertine may yet win him back again."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clavering hastily changed her cap, and ordered a servant to follow
+with cake and wine; and on their way to the cabin Dick gave her an
+account of all that had passed. In a few minutes Sam arrived,
+accompanied by Squire Van Tackemfast, with whom Captain Kentledge
+exchanged a few explanatory words. There was no time for any further
+preparation. Uncle Philip instantly put the hand of Robertine into that
+of her lover. The young couple stood up before the magistrate, who
+merely uttered a few words, but which were sufficient in law to unite
+them for ever&mdash;"In the name of the commonwealth, I pronounce you man and
+wife." This was the whole of the ceremony; the magistrate writing a
+certificate, which was duly signed by all present.</p>
+
+<p>"Now," said Uncle Philip, looking at his watch and addressing
+Lantiponne, "the steamboat will soon be along, and if you are going down
+to the city to-day, you will have little enough time to make your
+preparations."</p>
+
+<p>The bride and groom curtsied and bowed gracefully, and departed with
+Madame Franchimeau, whose last words were&mdash;"What a surprise for Monsieur
+Franchimeau, and also for papa and mamma and my little darlings!"</p>
+
+<p>When they were all fairly off, Mrs. Clavering felt as if relieved from
+the weight of a mountain; and she could not quit the cabin till she had
+had a long discussion with Uncle Philip on the recent events.</p>
+
+<p>In about an hour, the steamboat passed along, going close in shore to
+get all the advantage of the tide; and Robertine, who stood on the deck
+leaning on her husband's arm, smiled and waved her handkerchief to Uncle
+Philip.</p>
+
+<p>To conclude&mdash;it was not long before the old gentleman prevailed on Mrs.
+Clavering and her family to remove with him to a house of his own at
+Salem, a plan which had been in agitation for the last year; and in due
+time the boys commenced their apprenticeships, Sam to the captain of an
+Indiaman, and Dick to a shipbuilder. Both succeeded well; and have since
+become eminent in their respective professions.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Philip looks not much older than when he first allowed himself to
+be smitten with Miss Robertine; but he has never since fallen into a
+similar snare. He has made his will, and divided his whole property
+between Mrs. Clavering and her children, with the exception of some
+legacies to old sailors.</p>
+
+<p>The Simagrée de Lantiponnes have a large establishment in Broadway.</p>
+
+<p>The Franchimeaus and their system soon got out of favour at Corinth, and
+they have ever since been going the rounds of new villages.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="THE_ALBUM" id="THE_ALBUM"></a>THE ALBUM.</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"Tis not in mortals to command success."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Addison.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>"Ungallant!&mdash;unmilitary!" exclaimed the beautiful Orinda Melbourne, to
+her yet unprofessed lover, Lieutenant Sunderland, as in the decline of a
+summer afternoon they sat near an open window in the northwest parlour
+of Mr. Cozzens's house at West Point, where as yet there was no hotel.
+"And do you steadily persist in refusing to write in my album? Really,
+you deserve to be dismissed the service for unofficer-like conduct."</p>
+
+<p>"I have forsworn albums," replied Sunderland, "and for at least a dozen
+reasons. In the first place, the gods have not made me poetical."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" interrupted Miss Melbourne, "you remind me of the well-known story
+of the mayor of a French provincial town, who informed the king that the
+worthy burgesses had fifteen reasons for not doing themselves the honour
+of firing a salute on his majesty's arrival: the first reason being that
+they had no cannon."</p>
+
+<p>"A case in point," remarked Sunderland.</p>
+
+<p>"Well," resumed Orinda, "I do not expect you to surpass the glories of
+Byron and Moore."</p>
+
+<p>"Nothing is more contemptible than <i>mediocre</i> poetry," observed
+Sunderland; "the magazines and souvenirs have surfeited the world with
+it."</p>
+
+<p>"I do not require you to be even <i>mediocre</i>," persisted the young lady.
+"Give me something ludicrously bad, and I shall prize it almost as
+highly as if it were seriously good. I need not remind you of the
+hackneyed remarks, that extremes meet, and that there is but one step
+from the sublime to the ridiculous. Look at this Ode to West Point,
+written in my album by a very obliging cadet, a room-mate of my
+brother's. It is a perfect gem. How I admire these lines&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">'The steamboat up the river shoots,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">While Willis on his bugle toots.'"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>"Wo to the man," said Sunderland, "who subjects his poetical reputation
+to the ordeal of a lady's album, where all, whether gifted or ungifted,
+are expected to do their best."</p>
+
+<p>"You are mistaken," replied Orinda; "that expectation has long since
+gone by. We have found, by experience, that either from negligence or
+perverseness, gentlemen are very apt to write their worst in our
+albums."</p>
+
+<p>"I do not wonder at it," said Sunderland. "However, I must retrieve my
+character as a knight of chivalry. Appoint me any other task, and I will
+pledge myself to perform your bidding. Let your request 'take any shape
+but that, and my firm nerves shall never tremble.'"</p>
+
+<p>"But why this inveterate horror of albums?" asked Orinda. "Have you had
+any experience in them?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have, to my sorrow," replied Sunderland. "With me, I am convinced,
+'the course of albums never will run smooth.' For instance, I once, by
+means of an album, lost the lady of my love (I presume not to say the
+love of my lady.)"</p>
+
+<p>Orinda looked up and looked down, and "a change came o'er the spirit of
+her face:" which change was not unnoticed by her yet undeclared admirer,
+whose acquaintance with Miss Melbourne commenced on a former visit she
+had made to West Point, to see her brother, who was one of the cadets of
+the Military Academy.</p>
+
+<p>Orinda Melbourne was now in her twenty-first year, at her own disposal
+(having lost both her parents), and mistress of considerable property, a
+great part of which had been left to her by an aunt. She resided in the
+city of New York, with Mr. and Mrs. Ledbury, two old and intimate
+friends of her family, and they had accompanied her to West Point. She
+was universally considered a very charming girl, and by none more so
+than by Lieutenant Sunderland. But hearing that Miss Melbourne had
+declined the addresses of several very unexceptionable gentlemen, our
+hero was trying to delay an explicit avowal of his sentiments, till he
+should discover some reason to hope that the disclosure would be
+favourably received.</p>
+
+<p>Like most other men, on similar occasions, he gave a favourable
+interpretation to the emotion involuntarily evinced by the young lady,
+on hearing him allude to his former flame.</p>
+
+<p>There was a pause of a few moments, till Orinda rallied, and said with
+affected carelessness, "You may as well tell me the whole story, as we
+seem to have nothing better to talk of."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, then," proceeded Sunderland, "during one of my visits to the
+city, I met with a very pretty young lady from Brooklyn. Her name is of
+course unmentionable; but I soon found myself, for the first time in my
+life, a little in love&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I suspect it was not merely a little," remarked Orinda, with a
+penetrating glance; "it is said, that in love the first fit is always
+the strongest."</p>
+
+<p>"No, no!" exclaimed Sunderland; "I deny the truth of that opinion. It is
+a popular fallacy&mdash;I know it is," fixing his eyes on Orinda.</p>
+
+<p>At that minute, the young officer would have given a year's pay to be
+certain whether the glow that heightened Miss Melbourne's complexion,
+was a <i>bona fide</i> blush, or only the reflection of the declining
+sunbeams, as they streamed from under a dark cloud that was hovering
+over the western hills. However, after a few moments' consideration, he
+again interpreted favourably.</p>
+
+<p>"Proceed, Mr. Sunderland," said Orinda in rather a tremulous voice;
+"tell me all the particulars."</p>
+
+<p>"Of the album I will," replied he. "Well, then&mdash;this young lady was one
+of the belles of Brooklyn, and certainly very handsome."</p>
+
+<p>"Of what colour were her eyes and hair?" inquired Orinda.</p>
+
+<p>"Light&mdash;both very light."</p>
+
+<p>Orinda, who was a brunette, caught herself on the point of saying, that
+she had rarely seen much expression in the countenance of a blonde; but
+she checked the remark, and Sunderland proceeded.</p>
+
+<p>"The lady in question had a splendidly bound album, which she produced
+and talked about on all occasions, and seemed to regard with so much
+pride and admiration, that if a lover could possibly have been jealous
+of a book, I was, at times, very near becoming so. It was half filled
+with amatory verses by juvenile rhymesters, and with tasteless insipid
+drawings in water colours, by boarding-school misses: which drawings my
+Dulcinea persisted in calling paintings. She also persisted in urging me
+to write 'a piece of poetry' in her album, and I persevered in declaring
+my utter inability: as my few attempts at versification had hitherto
+proved entire failures. At last, I reluctantly consented, recollecting
+to have heard of sudden fits of inspiration, and of miraculous gifts of
+poetical genius, with which even milkmaids and cobblers have been
+unexpectedly visited. So taking the album with me, I retired to the
+solitude of my apartment at the City Hall, concluding with Macbeth that
+when a thing is to be well done, 'tis well to do it quickly. Here I
+manfully made my preparations 'to saddle Pegasus and ride up
+Parnassus'&mdash;but in vain. With me the winged steed of Apollo was as
+obstinate as a Spanish mule on the Sierra Morena. Not an inch would he
+stir. There was not even the slightest flutter in his pinions; and the
+mountain of the Muses looked to me as inaccessible as&mdash;as what shall I
+say&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I will help you to a simile," replied Orinda; "as inaccessible as the
+sublime and stupendous precipice to which you West Pointers have given
+the elegant and appropriate title of Butter Hill."</p>
+
+<p>"Exactly," responded Sunderland. "Parnassus looked like Butter Hill.
+Well, then&mdash;to be brief (as every man says when he suspects himself to
+be tedious), I sat up till one o'clock, vainly endeavouring to
+manufacture something that might stand for poetry. But I had no rhymes
+for my ideas, and no ideas for my rhymes. I found it impossible to make
+both go together. I at last determined to write my verses in prose till
+I had arranged the sense, and afterwards to put them into measure and
+rhyme. I tried every sort of measure from six feet to ten, and I essayed
+consecutive rhymes and alternate rhymes, but all was in vain. I found
+that I must either sacrifice the sense to the sound, or the sound to the
+sense. At length, I thought of the Bouts Rimées of the French. So I
+wrote down, near the right hand edge of my paper, a whole column of
+familiar rhymes, such as mine, thine, tears, fears, light, bright, &amp;c.
+And now I congratulated myself on having accomplished one-half of my
+task, supposing that I should find it comparatively easy to do the
+filling up. But all was to no purpose. I could effect nothing that I
+thought even tolerable, and I was too proud to write badly and be
+laughed at. However, I must acknowledge that, could I have been certain
+that my 'piece of poetry' would be seen only by the fair damsel herself,
+I might easily have screwed my courage to the sticking place; for
+greatly as I was smitten with the beauty of my little nymph, I had a
+secret misgiving that she had never sacrificed to Minerva."</p>
+
+<p>Our hero paused a moment to admire the radiance of the smile that now
+lighted up the countenance of Orinda.</p>
+
+<p>"In short," continued he, "I sat up till 'night's candles were burnt
+out,' both literally and metaphorically, and I then retired in despair
+to my pillow, from whence I did not rise till ten o'clock in the
+morning.</p>
+
+<p>"That evening I carried back the album to my fair one; but she still
+refused to let me off, and insisted that I should take it with me to
+West Point, to which place I was to return next day. I did so, hoping to
+catch some inspiration from the mountain air, and the mountain scenery.
+I ought to have recollected that few of the poets on record, either
+lived among mountains, or wrote while visiting them. The sons of song
+are too often fated to set up their household gods, and strike their
+lyres, in dark narrow streets and dismal alleys.</p>
+
+<p>"As soon as the steamboat had cleared the city, I took out my
+pocket-book and pencil, and prepared for the onset. I now regarded the
+ever-beautiful scenery of the magnificent Hudson with a new interest. I
+thought the Palisades would do something for me; but my imagination
+remained as sterile and as impenetrable as their eternal rocks. The
+broad expanse of the Tappan Sea lay like a resplendent mirror around me,
+but it reflected no image that I could transfer to my tablets. We came
+into the Highlands, but the old Dundeberg rumbled nothing in my fancy's
+ears, Anthony's Nose looked coldly down upon me, and the Sugar Loaf
+suggested no idea of sweetness. We proceeded along, but Buttermilk Falls
+reminded me not of the fountain of Helicon, and Bull Hill and Breakneck
+Hill seemed too rugged ever to be smoothed into verse.</p>
+
+<p>"That afternoon I went up to Fort Putnam, for the hundred and twentieth
+time in my life. I walked round the dismantled ramparts; I looked into
+their damp and gloomy cells. I thought (as is the duty of every one that
+visits these martial ruins) on the 'pride, pomp, and circumstance of
+glorious war.' But they inspired nothing that I could turn to account in
+my lady's album; nothing that could serve to introduce the compliment
+always expected in the last stanza. And, in truth, this compliment was
+the chief stumbling-block after all. 'But for these vile compliments, I
+might myself have been an album-poet.'"</p>
+
+<p>"Is it then so difficult to compliment a lady?" inquired Orinda.</p>
+
+<p>"Not in plain prose," replied Sunderland, "and when the lady is a little
+<i>à l'imbecile</i>, nothing in the world is more easy. But even in prose, to
+compliment a sensible woman as she deserves, and without danger of
+offending her modesty, requires both tact and talent."</p>
+
+<p>"Which I suppose is the reason," said Orinda, "that sensible women
+obtain so few compliments from your sex, and fools so many."</p>
+
+<p>"True," replied Sunderland. "But such compliments as we wish to offer to
+elegant and intellectual females, are as orient pearls compared to
+French beads."</p>
+
+<p>Orinda cast down her beautiful eyes under the expressive glance of her
+admirer. She felt that she was now receiving a pearl.</p>
+
+<p>"But to proceed," continued Sunderland. "I came down from the fort no
+better poet than I went up, and I had recourse again to the solitude of
+my own room. Grown desperate, and determined to get the album off my
+mind and have it over, an idea struck me which I almost blush to
+mention. Promise not to look at me, and I will amaze you with my
+candour."</p>
+
+<p>Orinda pretended to hold her fan before her eyes.</p>
+
+<p>"Are you sure you are not peeping between the stems of the feathers?"
+said Sunderland. "Well, then, now for my confession; but listen to it
+'more in sorrow than in anger,' and remember that the album alone was
+the cause of my desperation and my dishonour. Some Mephistopheles
+whispered in my ear to look among the older poets for something but
+little known, and transfer it as mine to a page in the fatal book. I
+would not, of course, venture on Scott or Moore or Byron; for though I
+doubted whether my lady-love was better versed in <i>them</i> than in the
+bards of Queen Anne's reign, yet I thought that perhaps some of the
+readers of her album might be acquainted with the last and best of the
+minstrels. But on looking over a volume of Pope, I found his 'Song by a
+Person of Quality.'"</p>
+
+<p>"I recollect it," said Orinda; "it is a satire on the amateur
+love-verses of that period,&mdash;such as were generally produced by
+fashionable inamoratoes. In these stanzas the author has purposely
+avoided every approach to sense or connexion, but has assembled together
+a medley of smooth and euphonous sounds. And could you risk such verses
+with your Dulcinea?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," replied Sunderland; "with <i>her</i> I knew that I was perfectly safe,
+and that she would pronounce them sweet and delightful. And in short,
+that they would exactly suit the calibre of her understanding."</p>
+
+<p>"Yet still," said Orinda, "with such an opinion of her mental
+qualifications, you professed to love this young lady&mdash;or rather you
+really loved her&mdash;no doubt you did."</p>
+
+<p>"No, no," replied Sunderland, eagerly; "it was only a passing whim&mdash;only
+a boyish fancy&mdash;such as a man may feel a dozen times before he is
+five-and-twenty, and before he is seriously in love. I should have told
+you that at this period I had not yet arrived at years of discretion."</p>
+
+<p>"I should have guessed it without your telling," said Orinda,
+mischievously.</p>
+
+<p>The young officer smiled, and proceeded.</p>
+
+<p>"I now saw my way clear. So I made a new pen, placed Pope on my desk,
+and sitting down to the album with a lightened spirit, I began with the
+first stanza of his poem:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">'Fluttering spread thy purple pinions,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Gentle Cupid, o'er my heart&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I a slave in thy dominions,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Nature must give way to art.'<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>And I then added the second and sixth verses, substituting the name of
+my fair one for that of Aurelia."</p>
+
+<p>"What would I not give to know that name!" thought Orinda. "But, in
+those verses," she remarked to Sunderland, "if I recollect aright, there
+is no direct compliment to the lady's beauty."</p>
+
+<p>"But there is a very great one by implication," answered the lieutenant.
+"For instance, the line&mdash;'Hear me pay my dying vows.'&mdash;What more could I
+profess than to die for love of her! And a lady that is died for, must
+of course be superlatively charming. In short, I finished the verses,
+and I must say they were very handsomely transcribed. Now, do not laugh.
+Is it not more excusable to take some pride in writing a good hand, than
+to boast of scribbling a bad one? I have known persons who seemed
+absolutely to plume themselves on the illegibility of their scrawls;
+because, unfortunately, so many men of genius have indulged in a most
+shameful style of chirography.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I viewed my performance with much satisfaction, and then
+proceeded to look attentively through the album (I had as yet but
+glanced over it), to see if any one excelled me in calligraphy. What was
+my horror, when I found among a multitude of Lines to Zephyrs and
+Dew-drops, and Stanzas to Rose-buds and Violets, the identical verses
+that I had just copied from Pope! Some other poor fellow, equally hard
+pressed, had been beforehand with me, and committed the very same theft;
+which, in his case, appeared to me enormous. I pronounced it 'flat
+burglary,' and could have consigned him to the penitentiary 'for the
+whole term of his natural life.' To be compelled to commit a robbery is
+bad enough, but to be anticipated in the very same robbery, and to find
+that you have burdened your conscience, and jeoparded your self-respect
+for nothing, is worse still."</p>
+
+<p>"There was one way," observed Orinda, "in which you could have
+extricated yourself from the dilemma. You might have cut out the leaf,
+and written something else on another."</p>
+
+<p>"That was the very thing I finally determined on doing," replied
+Sunderland. "So after a pause of deep distress, I took my penknife, and
+did cut out the leaf: resolving that for my next 'writing-piece,' I
+would go as far back as the poets of Elizabeth's time. While pleasing
+myself with the idea that all was now safe, I perceived, in moving the
+book, that another leaf was working its way out; and I found, to my
+great consternation, that I had cut too deeply, and that I had loosened
+a page on which was faintly drawn in a lady's hand a faint Cupid
+shooting at a faint heart, encircled with a wreath of faint flowers. I
+recollected that my 'fair one with locks of gold,' had pointed out to me
+this performance as 'the sweetest thing in her album.'"</p>
+
+<p>"By-the-bye," remarked Orinda, "when you found so much difficulty in
+composing verses, why did you not substitute a drawing?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" replied the lieutenant, "though I am at no loss in military
+drawing, and can finish my bastions, and counterscarps, and ravelins,
+with all due neatness, yet my miscellaneous sketches are very much in
+the style of scene-painting, and totally unfit to be classed with the
+smooth, delicate, half-tinted prettinesses that are peculiar to ladies'
+albums."</p>
+
+<p>"Now," said Orinda, "I am going to see how you will bear a compliment.
+I know that your drawings are bold and spirited, and such as the artists
+consider very excellent for an amateur, and therefore I will excuse you
+from writing verses in my album, on condition that you make me a sketch,
+in your own way, of my favourite view of Fort Putnam&mdash;I mean that fine
+scene of the west side which bursts suddenly upon you when going thither
+by the back road that leads through the woods. How sublime is the
+effect, when you stand at the foot of the dark gray precipice, feathered
+as it is with masses of beautiful foliage, and when you look up to its
+lofty summit, where the living rock seems to blend itself with the
+dilapidated ramparts of the mountain fortress!"</p>
+
+<p>"To attempt such a sketch for Miss Melbourne," replied Sunderland, with
+much animation, "I shall consider both a pleasure and an honour. But
+Loves and Doves, and Roses and Posies, are entirely out of my line, or
+rather out of the line of my pencil. Now, where was I? I believe I was
+telling of my confusion when I found that I had inadvertently cut out
+the young lady's pet Cupid."</p>
+
+<p>"But did it not strike you," said Orinda, "that the easiest course,
+after all, was to go to your demoiselle, and make a candid confession of
+the whole? which she would undoubtedly have regarded in no other light
+than as a subject of amusement, and have been too much diverted to feel
+any displeasure."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! you must not judge of every one by yourself," replied Sunderland.
+"I thought for a moment of doing what you now suggest, but after a
+little consideration, I more than suspected that my candour would be
+thrown away upon the perverse little damsel that owned the album, and
+that any attempt to take a ludicrous view of the business would
+mortally offend her. All young ladies are not like Miss Orinda
+Melbourne"&mdash;(bowing as he spoke).</p>
+
+<p>Orinda turned her head towards the window, and fixed her eyes intently
+on the top of the Crow's Nest. This time the suffusion on her cheeks was
+not in the least doubtful.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, then," continued Sunderland, "that I might remedy the disaster as
+far as possible, I procured some fine paste, and was proceeding to
+cement the leaf to its predecessor, when, in my agitation, a drop of the
+paste fell on the Cupid's face. In trying to absorb it with the corner
+of a clean handkerchief, I 'spread the ruin widely round,' and smeared
+off his wings, which unfortunately grew out of the back of his neck: a
+very pardonable mistake, as the fair artist had probably never seen a
+live Cupid. I was now nearly frantic, and I enacted sundry ravings 'too
+tedious to mention.' The first use I made of my returning senses was to
+employ a distinguished artist (then on a visit to West Point) to execute
+on another leaf, another Cupid, with bow and arrow, heart and roses, &amp;c.
+He made a beautiful little thing, a design of his own, which alone was
+worth a thousand album drawings of the usual sort. I was now quite
+reconciled to the disaster, which had given me an opportunity of
+presenting the young lady with a precious specimen of taste and genius.
+As soon as it was finished, I obtained leave of absence for a few days,
+went down to the city, and, album in hand, repaired to my Brooklyn
+beauty. I knew that, with her, there would be no use in telling the
+whole truth, and nothing but the truth; and I acknowledge, with shame,
+that I suppressed the fact of my copying Pope's verses. I merely said
+that, not being quite satisfied with my poetry, I had cut out the leaf;
+and I then went on to relate the remainder exactly as it happened. As I
+proceeded, I observed her brows beginning to contract, and her lips
+beginning to pout. 'Well, sir,' said she, with her eyes flashing (for I
+now found that even blue eyes could flash), 'I think you have been
+taking great liberties with my album: cutting and clipping it, and
+smearing it with paste, and spoiling my best Cupid, and then getting a
+man to put another picture into it, without asking my leave.'</p>
+
+<p>"Much disconcerted, I made many apologies, all of which she received
+with a very ill grace. I ventured to point out to her the superiority of
+the drawing that had been made by the artist.</p>
+
+<p>"'I see no beauty in it,' she exclaimed; 'the shading is not half so
+much blended as Miss Cottonwool's, and it does not look half so soft.'"</p>
+
+<p>"I have observed," said Orinda, "that persons who in reality know but
+little of the art, always dwell greatly on what they call softness."</p>
+
+<p>"I endeavoured to reconcile her to the drawing," continued Sunderland;
+"but she persisted in saying that it was nothing to compare to Miss
+Cottonwool's, which she alleged was of one delicate tint throughout,
+while this was very light in some places and very dark in others, and
+that she could actually see distinctly where most of the touches were
+put on, 'when in paintings that are really handsome,' said she, 'all the
+shading is blended together, and looks soft.'</p>
+
+<p>"To conclude, she would not forgive me; and, in sober truth, I must
+acknowledge that the petulance and silliness she evinced on this
+occasion, took away much of my desire to be restored to favour. Next
+day, I met her walking on the Battery, in high flirtation with an old
+West Indian planter, who espoused her in the course of a fortnight, and
+carried her to Antigua."</p>
+
+<p>Orinda now gave an involuntary and almost audible sigh; feeling a
+sensation of relief on hearing that her rival by anticipation was
+married and gone, and entirely <i>hors de combat</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. and Mrs. Ledbury, who had been taking a long walk, now came in; and
+shortly after, the bell rang for tea. And when Orinda took the offered
+arm of Sunderland (as he conducted her to the table), she felt a
+presentiment that, before many days, the important question would be
+asked and answered.</p>
+
+<p>The evening on which our story commences, was that of the 3d of July,
+1825, and tea was scarcely over at the Mess House when an orderly
+sergeant came round with a notice for the officers to assemble in
+uniform at the dock, to receive General La Fayette, who was expected in
+half an hour.</p>
+
+<p>The guest of the nation had visited the Military Academy soon after his
+arrival in America. He had there been introduced to Cadet Huger, the son
+of that gallant Carolinian who, in conjunction with the generous and
+enterprising Bollman, had so nearly succeeded in the hazardous attempt
+of delivering him from the dungeons of Olmutz.</p>
+
+<p>La Fayette was now on his return from his memorable tour throughout the
+United States. Major Worth,<a name="FNanchor_71_71" id="FNanchor_71_71"></a><a href="#Footnote_71_71" class="fnanchor">[71]</a> who was in command at West Point during
+the temporary absence of Colonel Thayer, happened to be at Newburgh when
+the steamboat arrived there, in which La Fayette was proceeding down the
+river from Albany to New York; and he invited the General to stop at
+West Point, and remain till the next boat. The invitation was promptly
+accepted, and Major Worth instantly despatched a messenger with the
+intelligence; wishing to give the residents of the post an opportunity
+of making such preparations for the reception of their distinguished
+visiter as the shortness of the time would allow.</p>
+
+<p>The officers hastily put on their full dress uniform, and repaired to
+the wharf, or dock, as it was called. The band (at that time the finest
+in America) was already there. The ladies assembled on the high bank
+that overlooks the river, and from thence witnessed the arrival of La
+Fayette.</p>
+
+<p>On the heights above the landing-place, and near the spot where the
+hotel has been since erected, appeared an officer, and a detachment of
+soldiers, waiting, with a lighted match, to commence the salute; for
+which purpose several pieces of artillery had been conveyed thither.</p>
+
+<p>The twilight of a summer evening was accelerated by a vast and heavy
+cloud, portentous of a thunderstorm. It had overspread the west, and
+loured upon the river, on whose yet unruffled waters the giant shadows
+of the mountains were casting a still deeper gloom. Beyond Polipel's
+Island was seen the coming steamboat, looking like an immense star upon
+a level with the horizon. There was a solemn silence all around, which
+was soon broken by the sound of the paddles, that were heard when the
+boat was as far off as Washington's Valley: and, in a few minutes, her
+dense shower of sparks and her wreath of red smoke were vividly defined
+upon the darkening sky.</p>
+
+<p>The boat was soon at the wharf; and, at the moment that La Fayette
+stepped on shore, the officers took off their hats, the band struck up
+Hail Columbia, and, amid the twilight gloom and the darkness of the
+impending thundercloud, it was chiefly by the flashes of the guns from
+the heights that the scene was distinctly visible. The lightning of
+heaven quivered also on the water; and the mountain echoes repeated the
+low rolling of the distant thunder in unison with the loud roar of the
+cannon.</p>
+
+<p>The general, accompanied by his son, and by his secretary, Levasseur,
+walked slowly up the hill, leaning on the arm of Major Worth, preceded
+by the band playing La Fayette's March, and followed by the officers and
+professors of the Institution. When they had ascended to the plain, they
+found the houses lighted up, and the camp of the cadets illuminated
+also. They proceeded to the Mess House, and as soon as they had entered,
+the musicians ranged themselves under the elms in front, and commenced
+Yankee Doodle; the quickstep to which La Fayette, at the head of his
+American division, had marched to the attack at the siege of Yorktown.</p>
+
+<p>While the General was partaking of some refreshment, the officers and
+professors returned for the ladies, all of whom were desirous of an
+introduction to him. Many children were also brought and presented to
+the far-famed European, who had so importantly assisted in obtaining
+for them and for their fathers, the glorious immunities of independence.</p>
+
+<p>The star has now set which shone so auspiciously for our country at that
+disastrous period of our revolutionary struggle&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"When hope was sinking in dismay,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And gloom obscured Columbia's day."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Mouldering into dust is that honoured hand which was clasped with such
+deep emotion by the assembled sons and daughters of the nation in whose
+cause it had first unsheathed the sword of liberty. And soon will that
+noble and generous heart, so replete with truth and benevolence, be
+reduced to "a clod of the valley." Yet, may we not hope that from the
+world of eternity, of which his immortal spirit is now an inhabitant, he
+looks down with equal interest on the land of his nativity, and on the
+land of his adoption: that country so bound to him by ties of
+everlasting gratitude; that country where all were his friends, as he
+was the friend of all.</p>
+
+<p>Tears suffused the beautiful eyes of Orinda Melbourne, when, introduced
+by her lover, she took the offered hand of La Fayette, and her voice
+trembled as she replied to the compliment of the patriot of both
+hemispheres. Sunderland remarked to the son of the illustrious veteran,
+that it gave him much pleasure to see that the General's long and
+fatiguing journey had by no means impaired his healthful appearance, but
+that, on the contrary, he now looked better than he had done on his
+first arrival in America. "Ah!" replied Colonel La Fayette, "how could
+my father suffer from fatigue, when every day was a day of happiness!"</p>
+
+<p>After Orinda had resigned her place to another lady, she said to
+Sunderland, who stood at the back of her chair&mdash;"What would I not give
+for La Fayette's autograph in my album!"</p>
+
+<p>"Still harping on the album," said Sunderland, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>"Excuse me this once," replied Orinda. "I begin to think as you do with
+respect to albums, but if nothing else can be alleged in their favour,
+they may, at least, be safe and convenient depositories for mementoes of
+those whose names are their history. All I presume to wish or to hope
+from La Fayette, is simply his signature. But I have not courage myself
+to ask such a favour. Will you convey my request to him?"</p>
+
+<p>"Willingly," answered Sunderland. "But he will grant that request still
+more readily if it comes from your own lips. Let us wait awhile, and I
+will see that you have an opportunity."</p>
+
+<p>In a short time, nearly all the company had departed, except those that
+were inmates of the house. The gentlemen having taken home the ladies,
+returned for the purpose of remaining with La Fayette till the boat came
+along in which he was to proceed to the city.</p>
+
+<p>Orinda took her album; her admirer conducted her to the General, and
+with much confusion she proffered her request; Sunderland brought him a
+standish, and he wrote the name "La Fayette" in the centre of a blank
+page, which our heroine presented to him: it having on each side other
+blank leaves that Orinda determined should never be filled up. Highly
+gratified at becoming the possessor of so valued a signature, she could
+scarcely refrain, in her enthusiasm, from pressing the leaf to her lips,
+when she soon after retired with Mrs. Ledbury.</p>
+
+<p>The officers remained with General La Fayette till the arrival of the
+boat, which came not till near twelve o'clock. They then accompanied him
+to the wharf, and took their final leave. The thunderstorm had gone
+round without discharging its fury on West Point, and everything had
+turned out propitiously for the General's visit; which was perhaps the
+more pleasant for having been so little expected.</p>
+
+<p>The following day was the Fourth of July, and the next was the one fixed
+on by Mr. and Mrs. Ledbury for returning to New York. That morning, at
+the breakfast-table, the number of guests was increased by the presence
+of a Mr. Jenkins, who had come from the city in the same boat with Miss
+Melbourne and her friends, and after passing a few days at West Point,
+had gone up the river to visit some relations at Poughkeepsie, from
+whence he had just returned. Mr. Jenkins was a shallow, conceited,
+over-dressed young man, and, moreover, extremely ugly, though of this
+misfortune he was not in the least aware. He was of a family whose
+wealth had not made them genteel. He professed great politeness to the
+ladies, that is, if they had beauty and money; yet he always declared
+that he would marry nothing under a hundred thousand dollars. But he was
+good-natured; and that, and his utter insignificance, got him along
+tolerably well, for no one ever thought it worth while to be offended at
+his folly and self-sufficiency.</p>
+
+<p>After breakfast, Mrs. Ledbury asked Orinda if she had prevailed on Mr.
+Sunderland to write an article in her album, adding&mdash;"I heard you urging
+him to that effect the other day, as I passed the front parlour."</p>
+
+<p>"I found him inexorable, as to writing," replied Orinda.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, really," said Mr. Jenkins, "I don't know how a gentleman can
+reconcile himself to refuse anything a lady asks. And he an officer too!
+For my part, I always hold it my bounden duty to oblige the ladies, and
+never on any account to treat them with <i>hauteur</i>, as the French call
+it. To be sure, I am not a marrying man&mdash;that is, I do not marry under a
+hundred thousand&mdash;but still, that is no reason why I should not be
+always polite and agreeable. <i>Apropos</i>, as the French say&mdash;<i>apropos</i>,
+Miss Melbourne, you know <i>I</i> offered the other day to write something
+for you in your album, and I will do it with all the pleasure in life. I
+am very partial to albums, and quite <i>au-fait</i> to them, to use a French
+term."</p>
+
+<p>"We return to the city this afternoon," said Orinda. "You will scarcely
+have time to add anything to the treasures of <i>my</i> album."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! it won't take me long," replied Jenkins; "short and sweet is <i>my</i>
+motto. There will be quite time enough. You see I have already finished
+my breakfast. I am not the least of a <i>gourmand</i>, to borrow a word from
+the French."</p>
+
+<p>Orinda had really some curiosity to see a specimen of Jenkins's poetry:
+supposing that, like the poor cadet's, it might be amusingly bad.
+Therefore, having sent for her album, she put it hastily into Jenkins's
+hand: for at that moment Lieutenant Sunderland, who had, as usual,
+breakfasted at the mess-table with his brother officers, came in to
+invite her to walk with him to Gee's Point. Orinda assented, and
+immediately put on her bonnet, saying to her lover as she left the
+house&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"You know this is one of my favourite walks&mdash;I like that fine mass of
+bare granite running far out into the river, and the beautiful view from
+its extreme point. And then the road, by which we descend to it, is so
+charmingly picturesque, with its deep ravine on one side, filled with
+trees and flowering shrubs, and the dark and lofty cliff that towers up
+on the other, where the thick vine wanders in festoons, and the branches
+of the wild rose throw their long streamers down the rock, whose utmost
+heights are crowned with still-lingering remnants of the grass-grown
+ruins of Fort Clinton."</p>
+
+<p>But we question if, on this eventful morning, the beauties of Gee's
+Point were duly appreciated by our heroine, for long before they had
+reached it, her lover had made an explicit avowal of his feelings and
+his hopes, and had obtained from her the promise of her hand: which
+promise was faithfully fulfilled on that day two months.</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon, Lieutenant Sunderland accompanied Miss Melbourne and
+her friends on their return to the city. Previous to her departure,
+Orinda did not forgot to remind Mr. Jenkins of her album, now doubly
+valuable to her as containing the name of La Fayette, written by his own
+hand.</p>
+
+<p>Jenkins begged a thousand pardons, alleging that the arrival of a friend
+from New York, had prevented him from writing in it, as he had intended.
+"And of course," said he, "I could not put off my friend, as he is one
+of the <i>élite</i> of the city, to describe him in French. However, there is
+time enough yet. Short and sweet, you know"&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"The boat is in sight," said Sunderland.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! no matter," answered Jenkins. "I can do it in a minute, and I will
+send it down to the boat after you. Miss Melbourne shall have it before
+she quits the wharf. I would on no consideration be guilty of
+disappointing a lady."</p>
+
+<p>And taking with him the album, he went directly to his room.</p>
+
+<p>"You had best go down to the dock," said the cadet, young Melbourne, who
+had come to see his sister off. "There is no time to be lost. I will
+take care that the album reaches you in safety, should you be obliged to
+go without it."</p>
+
+<p>They proceeded towards the river, but they had scarcely got as far as
+Mrs. Thomson's, when a waiter came running after them with the book,
+saying&mdash;"Mr. Jenkins's compliments to Miss Melbourne, and all is right."</p>
+
+<p>"Really," said Sunderland, "that silly fellow must have a machine for
+making verses, to have turned out anything like poetry in so short a
+time."</p>
+
+<p>They were scarcely seated on the deck of the steamboat, when Orinda
+opened her album to look for the inspirations of Jenkins's Muse. She
+found no verses. But on the very page consecrated by the hand of La
+Fayette, and immediately under the autograph of the hero, was written,
+in an awkward school-boy character, the name of Jeremiah Jenkins.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="THE_SET_OF_CHINA" id="THE_SET_OF_CHINA"></a>THE SET OF CHINA.</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"How thrive the beauties of the graphic art?"&mdash;<span class="smcap">Peter Pindar.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>"Mr. Gummage," said Mrs. Atmore, as she entered a certain
+drawing-school, at that time the most fashionable in Philadelphia, "I
+have brought you a new pupil, my daughter, Miss Marianne Atmore. Have
+you a vacancy?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, I can't say that I have," replied Mr. Gummage; "I never have
+vacancies."</p>
+
+<p>"I am very sorry to hear it," said Mrs. Atmore; and Miss Marianne, a
+tall, handsome girl of fifteen, looked disappointed.</p>
+
+<p>"But perhaps I <i>could</i> strain a point, and find a place for her,"
+resumed Mr. Gummage, who knew very well that he never had the smallest
+idea of limiting the number of his pupils, and that if twenty more were
+to apply, he would take them every one, however full his school might
+be.</p>
+
+<p>"Do, pray, Mr. Gummage," said Mrs. Atmore; "do try and make an exertion
+to admit my daughter; I shall regard it as a particular favour."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I believe she may come," replied Gummage: "I suppose I can take
+her. Has she any turn for drawing?"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know," answered Mrs. Atmore; "she has never tried."</p>
+
+<p>"So much the better," said Gummage; "I like girls that have never tried;
+they are much more manageable than those that have been scratching and
+daubing at home all their lives."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Gummage was no gentleman, either in appearance or manner. But he
+passed for a genius among those who knew nothing of that ill-understood
+race. He had a hooked nose that turned to the right, and a crooked mouth
+that turned to the left&mdash;his face being very much out of drawing,&mdash;and
+he had two round eyes that in colour and expression resembled two
+hazel-nuts. His lips were "pea-green and blue," from the habit of
+putting the brushes into his mouth when they were overcharged with
+colour. He took snuff illimitably, and generally carried half a dozen
+handkerchiefs, some of which, however, were to wrap his dinner in, as he
+conveyed it from market in his capacious pockets; others, as he said,
+were "to wipe the girl's saucers."</p>
+
+<p>His usual costume was an old dusty brown coat, corduroy pantaloons, and
+a waistcoat that had once been red, boots that had once been black, and
+a low crowned rusty hat&mdash;which was never off his head, even in the
+presence of the ladies&mdash;and a bandanna cravat. The vulgarity of his
+habits, and the rudeness of his deportment, all passed off under the
+title of eccentricity. At the period when he flourished&mdash;it was long
+before the time of Sully&mdash;the <i>beau ideal</i> of an artist, at least among
+the multitude, was an ugly, ill-mannered, dirty fellow, that painted an
+inch thick in divers gaudy colours, equally irreconcileable to nature
+and art. And the chief attractions of a drawing master&mdash;for Mr. Gummage
+was nothing more&mdash;lay in doing almost everything himself, and producing
+for his pupils, in their first quarter, pictures (so called) that were
+pronounced "fit to frame."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, madam," said Mr. Gummage, "what do you wish your daughter to
+learn? figures, flowers, or landscapes?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! all three," replied Mrs. Atmore. "We have been furnishing our new
+house, and I told Mr. Atmore that he need not get any pictures for the
+front parlour, as I would much prefer having them all painted by
+Marianne. She has been four quarters with Miss Julia,<a name="FNanchor_72_72" id="FNanchor_72_72"></a><a href="#Footnote_72_72" class="fnanchor">[72]</a> and has worked
+Friendship and Innocence, which cost, altogether, upwards of a hundred
+dollars. Do you know the piece, Mr. Gummage? There is a tomb with a
+weeping willow, and two ladies with long hair, one dressed in pink, the
+other in blue, holding a wreath between them over the top of the urn.
+The ladies are Friendship. Then on the right hand of the piece is a
+cottage, and an oak, and a little girl dressed in yellow, sitting on a
+green bank, and putting a wreath round the neck of a lamb. Nothing can
+be more natural than the lamb's wool. It is done entirely in French
+knots. The child and the lamb are Innocence."</p>
+
+<p>"Ay, ay," said Gummage, "I know the piece well enough&mdash;I've drawn them
+by dozens."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," continued Mrs. Atmore, "this satin piece hangs over the front
+parlour mantel. It is much prettier and better done than the one Miss
+Longstitch worked, of Charlotte at the tomb of Werter, though she <i>did</i>
+sew silver spangles all over Charlotte's lilac gown, and used chenille,
+at a fi'-penny-bit a needleful, for all the banks and the large tree.
+Now, as the mantel-piece is provided for, I wish a landscape for each of
+the recesses, and a figure-piece to hang on each side of the large
+looking-glass, with flower-pieces under them, all by Marianne. Can she
+do all these in one quarter?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, that she can't," replied Gummage; "it will take her two quarters'
+hard work, and may be three, to get through the whole of them."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I won't stand about a quarter more or less," said Mrs. Atmore;
+"but what I wish Marianne to do most particularly, and, indeed, the
+chief reason why I send her to drawing-school just now, is a pattern for
+a set of china that we are going to have made in Canton. I was told the
+other day by a New York lady (who was quite tired of the queer,
+unmeaning things which are generally put on India ware), that she had
+sent a pattern for a tea-set, drawn by her daughter, and that every
+article came out with the identical device beautifully done on the
+china, all in the proper colours. She said it was talked of all over New
+York, and that people who had never been at the house before, came to
+look at and admire it. No doubt it was a great feather in her daughter's
+cap."</p>
+
+<p>"Possibly, madam," said Gummage.</p>
+
+<p>"And now," resumed Mrs. Atmore, "since I heard this, I have thought of
+nothing else than having the same thing done in my family; only I shall
+send for a dinner set, and a very long one, too. Mr. Atmore tells me
+that the Voltaire, one of Stephen Girard's ships, sails for Canton early
+next month, and he is well acquainted with the captain, who will attend
+to the order for the china. I suppose in the course of a fortnight
+Marianne will have learnt drawing enough to enable her to do the
+pattern?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! yes, madam&mdash;quite enough," replied Gummage, suppressing a laugh.</p>
+
+<p>"Very well," said Mrs. Atmore. "And now, Mr. Gummage, let me look at
+some of your models."</p>
+
+<p>"Figures, flowers, or landscapes?" asked the artist.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! some of each," replied the lady.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Gummage had so many pupils&mdash;both boys and girls&mdash;and so many
+classes, and gave lessons besides, at so many boarding-schools, that he
+had no leisure time for receiving applications, and as he kept his
+domicile incog. he saw all his visitors at his school-room. Foreseeing a
+long examination of the prints, he took from a hanging shelf several of
+his numerous portfolios, and having placed them on a table before Mrs.
+Atmore and her daughter, he proceeded to go round and direct his present
+class of young ladies, who were all sitting at the drawing-desks in
+their bonnets and shawls, because the apartment afforded no
+accommodation for these habiliments if laid aside. Each young lady was
+leaning over a straining-frame, on which was pasted a sheet of
+drawing-paper, and each seemed engaged in attempting to copy one of the
+coloured engravings that were fastened by a slip of cleft cane to the
+cord of twine that ran along the wall. The benches were dusty, the floor
+dirty and slopped with spilt water; and the windows, for want of
+washing, looked more like horn than glass. The school-room and teacher
+were all in keeping. Yet for many years Mr. Gummage was so much in
+fashion that no other drawing-masters had the least chance of success.
+Those who recollect the original, will not think his portrait
+overcharged.</p>
+
+<p>We left Mr. Gummage going round his class for the purpose of giving a
+glance, and saying a few words to each.</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Jones, lay down the lid of your paint-box. No rulers shall be used
+in my school, as I have often told you."</p>
+
+<p>"But, Mr. Gummage, only look at the walls of my castle; they are all
+leaning to one side; both the turrets stand crooked, and the doors and
+windows slant every way."</p>
+
+<p>"No matter, it's my rule that nobody shall use a rule. Miss Miller, have
+you rubbed the blue and bistre I told you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, sir; I've been at it all the afternoon; here it is."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, that's not half enough."</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Gummage, I've rubbed, and rubbed, till my arm aches to the
+shoulder, and my face is all in a glow."</p>
+
+<p>"Then take off your bonnet, and cool yourself. I tell you there's not
+half enough. Why, my boys rub blue and bistre till their faces run of a
+stream. I make them take off their coats to it."</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Gummage," said one young lady, "you promised to put in my sky
+to-day."</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Gummage," said another, "I've been waiting for my distances these
+two weeks. How can I go any farther till you have done them for me?"</p>
+
+<p>"Finish the fore-ground to-day. It is time enough for the distances:
+I'll put them in on Friday."</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Gummage," said another, "my river has been expecting you since last
+Wednesday."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, you have not put in the boat yet. Do the boat to-day, and the
+fisherman on the shore. But look at your bridge! Every arch is of a
+different size&mdash;some big, and some little."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Mr. Gummage, it is your own fault&mdash;you should let me use
+compasses. I have a pair in my box&mdash;do, pray, let me use them."</p>
+
+<p>"No, I won't. My plan is that you shall all draw entirely by the eye."</p>
+
+<p>"That is the reason we make everything so crooked."</p>
+
+<p>"I see nothing more crooked than yourselves," replied the polite
+drawing-master.</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Gummage," said another young lady, raising her eyes from a novel
+that she had brought with her, "I have done nothing at my piece for at
+least a fortnight. I have been all the time waiting for you to put in my
+large tree."</p>
+
+<p>"Hush this moment with your babbling, every soul of you," said the
+teacher, in an under tone: "don't you see there are strangers here? What
+an unreasonable pack of fools you are! Can I do everybody's piece at
+once? Learn to have patience, one and all of you, and wait till your
+turn comes."</p>
+
+<p>Some of the girls tossed their heads and pouted, and some laughed, and
+some quitted their desks and amused themselves by looking out at the
+windows. But the instructor turned his back on them, and walked off
+towards the table at which Mrs. Atmore and her daughter were seated with
+the portfolios, both making incessant exclamations of "How
+beautiful!&mdash;how elegant!&mdash;how sweet!"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! here are Romeo and Juliet in the tomb scene!" cried Marianne.
+"Look, mamma, is it not lovely?&mdash;the very play in which we saw Cooper
+and Mrs. Merry. Oh! do let me paint Romeo and Juliet for the dinner set!
+But stop&mdash;here's the Shepherdess of the Alps! how magnificent! I think I
+would rather do that for the china. And here's Mary Queen of Scots; I
+remember her ever since I read history. And here are Telemachus and
+Minerva, just as I translated about them in my Telemaque exercises. Oh!
+let me do them for the dinner set&mdash;sha'n't I. Mr. Gummage?"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't see any figure-pieces in which the colours are bright enough,"
+remarked Mrs. Atmore.</p>
+
+<p>"As to that," observed Gummage&mdash;who knew that the burthen of the drawing
+would eventually fall on him, and who never liked to do figures&mdash;"I
+don't believe that any of these figure pieces would look well if reduced
+so small as to go on china plates."</p>
+
+<p>"Well,&mdash;here are some very fine landscapes," pursued Mrs. Atmore;
+"Here's the Cascade of Tivoli&mdash;and here's a view in Jamaica&mdash;and here's
+Glastonbury Abbey."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! I dote on abbeys," cried Marianne, "for the sake of Amanda
+Fitzalan."</p>
+
+<p>"Your papa will not approve of your doing this," observed Mrs. Atmore:
+"you know, he says that abbeys are nothing but old tumble-down
+churches."</p>
+
+<p>"If I may not do an abbey, let me do a castle," said Marianne; "there's
+Conway Castle by moonlight&mdash;how natural the moon looks!"</p>
+
+<p>"As to castles," replied Mrs. Atmore, "you know your papa says they are
+no better than old jails. He hates both abbeys and castles."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, here is a noble country seat," said Marianne&mdash;"'Chiswick House.'"</p>
+
+<p>"Your papa has no patience with country seats," rejoined Mrs. Atmore.
+"He says that when people have made their money, they had better stay in
+town to enjoy it; where they can be convenient to the market, and the
+stores, and the post-office, and the coffee-house. He likes a good
+comfortable three story brick mansion, in a central part of the city,
+with marble steps, iron railings, and green venetian shutters."</p>
+
+<p>"To cut the matter short," said Mr. Gummage, "the best thing for the
+china is a flower piece&mdash;a basket, or a wreath&mdash;or something of that
+sort. You can have a good cipher in the centre, and the colours may be
+as bright as you please. India ware is generally painted with one colour
+only; but the Chinese are submissive animals, and will do just as they
+are bid. It may cost something more to have a variety of colours; but I
+suppose you will not mind that."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! no&mdash;no," exclaimed Mrs. Atmore, "I shall not care for the price; I
+have set my mind on having this china the wonder of all Philadelphia."</p>
+
+<p>Our readers will understand, that at this period nearly all the
+porcelain used in America was of Chinese manufacture; very little of
+that elegant article having been, as yet, imported from France.</p>
+
+<p>A wreath was selected from the portfolio that contained the engravings
+and drawings of flowers. It was decided that Marianne should first
+execute it the full size of the model (which was as large as nature),
+that she might immediately have a piece to frame; and that she was
+afterwards to make a smaller copy of it, as a border for all the
+articles of the china set; the middle to be ornamented with the letter
+A, in gold, surrounded by the rays of a golden star. Sprigs and tendrils
+of the flowers were to branch down from the border, so as nearly to
+reach the gilding in the middle. The large wreath that was intended to
+frame, was to bear in its centre the initials of Marianne Atmore, being
+the letters M. A., painted in shell gold.</p>
+
+<p>"And so," said Mr. Gummage, "having a piece to frame, and a pattern for
+your china, you'll kill two birds with one stone."</p>
+
+<p>On the following Monday, the young lady came to take her first lesson,
+followed by a mulatto boy, carrying a little black morocco trunk, that
+contained a four row box of Reeves' colours, with an assortment of
+camel's hair pencils, half a dozen white saucers, a water cup, a lead
+pencil, and a piece of India rubber. Mr. Gummage immediately supplied
+her with two bristle brushes, and sundry little shallow earthern cups,
+each containing a modicum of some sort of body colour, masticot, flake
+white, &amp;c., prepared by himself, and charged at a quarter-dollar apiece,
+and which he told her she would want when she came to do landscapes and
+figures.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Gummage's style was, to put in the sky, water, and distances with
+opaque paints, and the most prominent objects with transparent colours.
+This was probably the reason that his foregrounds seemed always to be
+sunk in his backgrounds. The model was scarcely considered as a guide,
+for he continually told his pupils that they must try to excel it; and
+he helped them to do so by making all his skies deep red fire at the
+bottom, and dark blue smoke at the top; and exactly reversing the
+colours on the water, by putting red at the top, and blue at the bottom.
+The distant mountains were lilac and white, and the near rocks buff
+colour shaded with purple. The castles and abbeys were usually gamboge.
+The trees were dabbed and dotted in with a large bristle brush, so that
+the foliage looked like a green fog. The foam of the cascades resembled
+a concourse of wigs, scuffling together and knocking the powder out of
+each other, the spray being always fizzed on with one of the aforesaid
+bristle brushes. All the dark shadows in every part of the picture were
+done with a mixture of Prussian blue and bistre, and of these two
+colours there was consequently a vast consumption in Mr. Gummage's
+school. At the period of our story, many of the best houses in
+Philadelphia were decorated with these landscapes. But for the honour of
+my townspeople, I must say that the taste for such productions is now
+entirely obsolete. We may look forward to the time, which we trust is
+not far distant, when the elements of drawing will be taught in every
+school, and considered as indispensable to education as a knowledge of
+writing. It has long been our belief that <i>any</i> child may, with proper
+instruction, be made to draw, as easily as any child may be made to
+write. We are rejoiced to find that so distinguished an artist as
+Rembrandt Peale has avowed the same opinion, in giving to the world his
+invaluable little work on Graphics: in which he has clearly demonstrated
+the affinity between drawing and writing, and admirably exemplified the
+leading principles of both.</p>
+
+<p>Marianne's first attempt at the great wreath was awkward enough. After
+she had spent five or six afternoons at the outline, and made it
+triangular rather than circular, and found it impossible to get in the
+sweet pea, and the convolvulus, and lost and bewildered herself among
+the multitude of leaves that formed the cup of the rose, Mr. Gummage
+snatched the pencil from her hand, rubbed out the whole, and then drew
+it himself. It must be confessed that his forte lay in flowers, and he
+was extremely clever at them; "but," as he expressed it, "his scholars
+chiefly ran upon landscapes."</p>
+
+<p>After he had sketched the wreath, he directed Marianne to rub the
+colours for her flowers, while he put in Miss Smithson's rocks.</p>
+
+<p>When Marianne had covered all her saucers with colours, and wasted ten
+times as much as was necessary, she was eager to commence painting, as
+she called it; and in trying to wash the rose with lake, she daubed it
+on of crimson thickness. When Mr. Gummage saw it, he gave her a severe
+reprimand for meddling with her own piece. It was with great difficulty
+that the superabundant colour was removed; and he charged her to let the
+flowers alone till he was ready to wash them for her. He worked a little
+at the piece every day, forbidding Marianne to touch it: and she
+remained idle while he was putting in skies, mountains, &amp;c., for the
+other young ladies.</p>
+
+<p>At length the wreath was finished&mdash;Mr. Gummage having only sketched it,
+and washed it, and given it the last touches. It was put into a splendid
+frame, and shown as Miss Marianne Atmore's first attempt at painting;
+and everybody exclaimed, "What an excellent teacher Mr. Gummage must be!
+How fast he brings on his pupils!"</p>
+
+<p>In the mean time, she undertook at home to make the small copy that was
+to go to China. But she was now "at a dead lock," and found it utterly
+impossible to advance a step without Mr. Gummage. It was then thought
+best that she should do it at school&mdash;meaning that Mr. Gummage should do
+it for her, while she looked out of the window.</p>
+
+<p>The whole was at last satisfactorily accomplished, even to the gilt star
+with the A in the centre. It was taken home and compared with the larger
+wreath, and found still prettier, and shown as Marianne's, to the envy
+of all mothers whose daughters could not furnish models for china. It
+was finally given in charge to the captain of the Voltaire, with
+injunctions to order a dinner-set exactly according to the pattern&mdash;and
+to prevent the possibility of a mistake, a written direction accompanied
+it.</p>
+
+<p>The ship sailed&mdash;and Marianne continued three quarters at Mr. Gummage's
+school, where she nominally effected another flower piece, and also
+perpetrated Kemble in Rolla, Edwin and Angelina, the Falls of the Rhine,
+and the Falls of Niagara; all of which were duly framed, and hung in
+their appointed places.</p>
+
+<p>During the year that followed the departure of the ship Voltaire, great
+impatience for her return was manifested by the ladies of the Atmore
+family&mdash;anxious to see how the china would look, and frequently hoping
+that the colours would be bright enough, and none of the flowers
+omitted&mdash;that the gilding would be rich, and everything inserted in its
+proper place, exactly according to the pattern. Mrs. Atmore's only
+regret was, that she had not sent for a tea-set also; not that she was
+in want of one, but then it would be so much better to have a dinner-set
+and a tea-set precisely alike, and Marianne's beautiful wreath on all.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, my dear," said Mr. Atmore, "how often have I heard you say that
+you would never have another <i>tea</i>-set from Canton, because the Chinese
+persist in making the principal articles of such old-fashioned, awkward
+shapes. For my part, I always disliked the tall coffee pots, with their
+straight spouts, looking like light-houses with bowsprits to them; and
+the short, clumsy tea-pots, with their twisted handles, and lids that
+always fall off."</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure," said Mrs. Atmore, "I have been looking forward to the
+time, when we can get a French tea-set upon tolerable terms. But in the
+mean while, I should be very glad to have cups and saucers with
+Marianne's beautiful wreath, and of course, when we use this china on
+the table we shall always bring forward our silver pots."</p>
+
+<p>Spring returned, and there was much watching of the vanes, and great joy
+when they pointed easterly, and the ship-news now became the most
+interesting column of the papers. A vessel that had sailed from New York
+for Canton, on the same day the Voltaire departed for Philadelphia, had
+already got in; therefore the Voltaire might be hourly expected. At
+length she was reported below; and at this period the river Delaware
+suffered much, in comparison with the river Hudson, owing to the
+tediousness of its navigation from the capes to the city.</p>
+
+<p>At last the Voltaire cast anchor at the foot of Market street, and our
+ladies could scarcely refrain from walking down to the wharf to see the
+ship that held the box, that held the china. But invitations were
+immediately sent out for a long projected dinner-party, which Mrs.
+Atmore had persuaded her husband to defer till they could exhibit the
+beautiful new porcelain.</p>
+
+<p>The box was landed, and conveyed to the house. The whole family were
+present at the opening, which was performed in the dining-room by Mr.
+Atmore himself,&mdash;all the servants peeping in at the door. As soon as a
+part of the lid was split off, and a handful of straw removed, a pile of
+plates appeared, all separately wrapped in India paper. Each of the
+family snatched up a plate and hastily tore off the covering. There were
+the flowers glowing in beautiful colours, and the gold star and the gold
+A, admirably executed. But under the gold star, on every plate, dish,
+and tureen, were the words, "<span class="smcap">This In the Middle!</span>"&mdash;being the direction
+which the literal and exact Chinese had minutely copied from a crooked
+line that Mr. Atmore had hastily scrawled on the pattern with a very bad
+pen, and of course without the slightest thought of its being inserted
+<i>verbatim</i> beneath the central ornament.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Atmore laughed&mdash;Mrs. Atmore cried&mdash;the servants giggled aloud&mdash;and
+Marianne cried first, and laughed afterwards.</p>
+
+<p>The only good that resulted was, that it gave occasion to Mr. Atmore to
+relate the story to his guests whenever he had a dinner-party.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="LAURA_LOVEL" id="LAURA_LOVEL"></a>LAURA LOVEL.</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"The world is still deceived with ornament."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>Laura Lovel was the eldest surviving daughter of a clergyman settled in
+a retired and beautiful village at the western extremity of the state of
+Massachusetts. Between Laura and her two youngest sisters, three other
+children had died. Being so much their senior, it was in her power to
+assist her father materially in the instruction of Ella and Rosa; as
+after his family had become small, Mr. Lovel thought it best that the
+two little girls should receive all their education at home, and never
+were children that conferred more credit on their teachers. Mrs. Lovel
+was a plain, good woman, of excellent practical sense, a notable
+seamstress, and a first-rate housewife. Few families were more perfectly
+happy, notwithstanding that the limited income of Mr. Lovel (though
+sufficient for comfort) left them little or nothing for superfluities.</p>
+
+<p>They had a very neat house standing in the centre of a flourishing
+garden, in which utility had been the first consideration, though
+blended as far as possible with beauty. The stone fence looked like a
+hedge of nasturtians. The pillars supporting the rustic piazza that
+surrounded the house, were the rough trunks of small trees, with a
+sufficient portion of the chief branches remaining, to afford
+resting-places for the luxuriant masses of scarlet beans that ran over
+them; furnishing, when the blossoms were off, and the green pods full
+grown, an excellent vegetable-dish for the table. The house was shaded
+with fruit-trees exclusively; and the garden shrubs were all raspberry,
+currant, and gooseberry, and the flowers were chiefly those that had
+medicinal properties, or could be turned to culinary purposes&mdash;with the
+exception of some that were cultivated purposely for the bees. A meadow
+which pastured two cows and a horse, completed the little domain.</p>
+
+<p>About the time that Laura Lovel had finished her seventeenth year, there
+came to the village of Rosebrook an old friend of her father's, whom he
+had long since lost sight of. They had received their early education at
+the same school, they had met again at college, and had some years after
+performed together a voyage to India; Mr. Brantley as supercargo, Mr.
+Lovel as a missionary. Mr. Brantley had been very successful in
+business, and was now a merchant of wealth and respectability, with a
+handsome establishment in Boston. Mr. Lovel had settled down as pastor
+of the principal church in his native village.</p>
+
+<p>The object of Mr. Brantley's present visit to Rosebrook, was to inquire
+personally into the state of some property he still retained there. Mr.
+Lovel would not allow his old friend to remain at the tavern, but
+insisted that <i>his</i> house should be his abiding place; and they had much
+pleasure in comparing their reminiscences of former times. As their
+chief conversation was on topics common to both, Mr. Lovel did not
+perceive that, except upon mercantile subjects, Mr. Brantley had
+acquired few new ideas since they had last met, and that his reading was
+confined exclusively to the newspapers. But he saw that in quiet
+good-nature, and easiness of disposition, his old friend was still the
+same as in early life.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Brantley was so pleased with every member of the Lovel family, and
+liked his visit so much, that he was induced to prolong it two days
+beyond his first intention; and he expressed an earnest desire to take
+Laura home with him, to pass a few weeks with his wife and daughter.
+This proposal, however, was declined, with sincere acknowledgments for
+its kindness; Mr. Lovel's delicacy making him unwilling to send his
+daughter, as a guest, to a lady who as yet was ignorant of her
+existence, and Laura sharing in her father's scruples.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Brantley took his leave: and three months afterwards he paid a
+second visit to Rosebrook, for the purpose of selling his property in
+that neighbourhood. He brought with him a short but very polite letter
+from his wife to Mr. and Mrs. Lovel, renewing the invitation for Laura,
+and pressing it in a manner that could scarcely be withstood. Mr. Lovel
+began to waver; Mrs. Lovel thought it was time that Laura should see a
+little of the world, and Laura's speaking looks told how much pleasure
+she anticipated from the excursion. The two little girls, though their
+eyes filled at the idea of being separated from their beloved sister,
+most magnanimously joined in entreating permission for her to go, as
+they saw that she wished it. Finally, Mr. Lovel consented; and Laura
+seemed to tread on air while making her preparations for the journey.</p>
+
+<p>That evening, at the hour of family worship, her father laid his hand on
+Laura's head, and uttered a fervent prayer for the preservation of her
+health and happiness during her absence from the paternal roof. Mrs.
+Lovel and all her daughters were deeply affected, and Mr. Brantley
+looked very much inclined to participate in their emotion.</p>
+
+<p>Early next morning Mr. Brantley's chaise was at the door, and Laura took
+leave of the family with almost as many tears and kisses as if she had
+been going to cross the Atlantic. Little Ella, who was about eight years
+old, presented her, at parting, with a very ingenious needle-book of her
+own making, and Rosa, who was just seven, gave her as a keepsake an
+equally clever pincushion. She promised to bring them new books, and
+other little presents from Boston, a place in which they supposed
+everything that the world produced, could be obtained without
+difficulty.</p>
+
+<p>Finally, the last farewell was uttered, the last kiss was given, and
+Laura Lovel took her seat in the chaise beside Mr. Brantley, who drove
+off at a rapid pace; and in a few moments a turn in the road hid from
+her view the house of her father, and the affectionate group that still
+lingered at its gate, to catch the latest glimpse of the vehicle that
+was bearing away from them the daughter and the sister.</p>
+
+<p>As they proceeded on their journey, Laura's spirits gradually revived,
+and she soon became interested or delighted with everything she beheld;
+for she had a quick perception, with a mind of much intelligence and
+depth of observation.</p>
+
+<p>The second day of their journey had nearly closed, before the spires of
+the Boston churches, and the majestic dome of the State House, met the
+intense gaze of our heroine. Thousands of lights soon twinkled over the
+city of the three hills, and the long vistas of lamps that illuminated
+the bridges, seemed to the unpractised eyes of Laura Lovel to realize
+the glories of the Arabian Nights. "Oh!" she involuntarily exclaimed,
+"if my dear little sisters could only be with me now!"</p>
+
+<p>As they entered by the western avenue, and as Mr. Brantley's residence
+was situated in the eastern part of the city, Laura had an opportunity
+of seeing as she passed a vast number of lofty, spacious, and
+noble-looking dwelling-houses, in the erection of which the patrician
+families of Boston have perhaps surpassed all the other aristocracies of
+the Union; for, sternly republican as are our laws and institutions, it
+cannot be denied that in private life every section of our commonwealth
+has its aristocracy.</p>
+
+<p>At length they stopped at Mr. Brantley's door, and Laura had a very
+polite reception from the lady of the mansion, an indolent,
+good-natured, insipid woman, the chief business of whose life was dress
+and company. Mr. Brantley had purchased a large and handsome house in
+the western part of the town, to which the family were to remove in the
+course of the autumn, and it was Mrs. Brantley's intention, when they
+were settled in their new and elegant establishment, to get into a
+higher circle, and to have weekly <i>soirées</i>. To make her parties the
+more attractive, she was desirous of engaging some very pretty young
+lady (a stranger with a new face) to pass the winter with her. She had
+but one child, a pert, forward girl, about fourteen, thin, pale, and
+seeming "as if she suffered a great deal in order to look pretty." She
+sat, stood, and moved, as if in constant pain from the tightness of her
+corsets, the smallness of her sleeve-holes, and the narrowness of her
+shoes. Her hair, having been kept long during the whole period of her
+childhood, was exhausted with incessant tying, brushing, and curling,
+and she was already obliged to make artificial additions to it. It was
+at this time a mountain of bows, plaits, and puffs; and her costume was
+in every respect that of a woman of twenty. She was extremely anxious to
+"come out," as it is called, but her father insisted on her staying in,
+till she had finished her education; and her mother had been told that
+it was very impolitic to allow young ladies to "appear in society" at
+too early an age, as they were always supposed to be older than they
+really were, and therefore would be the sooner considered <i>passé</i>.</p>
+
+<p>After tea, Mrs. Brantley reclined herself idly in one of the
+rocking-chairs, Mr. Brantley retired to the back parlour to read
+undisturbed the evening papers, and Augusta took up some bead-work,
+while Laura looked over the Souvenirs with which the centre-table was
+strewed.</p>
+
+<p>"How happy you must be, Miss Brantley," said Laura, "to have it in your
+power to read so many new books!"</p>
+
+<p>"As to reading," replied Augusta, "I never have any time to spare for
+that purpose; what with my music, and my dancing, and my lessons in
+French conversation, and my worsted-work, and my bead-work; then I have
+every day to go out shopping, for I always <i>will</i> choose everything for
+myself. Mamma has not the least idea of my taste; at least, she never
+remembers it. And then there is always some business with the
+mantua-makers and milliners. And I have so many morning visits to pay
+with mamma&mdash;and in the afternoon I am generally so tired that I can do
+nothing but put on a wrapper, and throw myself on the bed, and sleep
+till it is time to dress for evening."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" thought Laura Lovel, "how differently do we pass our time at
+Rosebrook!&mdash;Is not this a beautiful engraving?" she continued, holding
+one of the open Souvenirs towards Augusta.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes&mdash;pretty enough," replied Augusta, scarcely turning her head to look
+at it.&mdash;"Mamma, do not you think I had better have my green pelerine cut
+in points rather than in scollops?"</p>
+
+<p>"I think," replied Mrs. Brantley, "that scollops are the prettiest."</p>
+
+<p>"Really, mamma," said Augusta, petulantly, "it is very peculiar in you
+to say so, when you ought to know that scollops have had their day, and
+that points have come round again."</p>
+
+<p>"Very well, then, my love," replied Mrs. Brantley, indolently, "consult
+your own taste."</p>
+
+<p>"That I always do," said Augusta, half aside to Laura, who, addressing
+herself to Mrs. Brantley, made some inquiry about the last new novel.</p>
+
+<p>"I cannot say that I have read it," answered Mrs. Brantley; "at least, I
+don't know that I have. Augusta, my love, do you recollect if you have
+heard me say anything about the last new book&mdash;the&mdash;a&mdash;the&mdash;what is it
+you call it, Miss Lovel?"</p>
+
+<p>"La! mamma," said Augusta, "I should as soon expect you to write a book
+as to read one."</p>
+
+<p>There was a pause for a minute or two. Augusta then leaning back towards
+her mother, exclaimed, "Upon second thoughts, I think I will have the
+green pelerine scolloped, and the blue one pointed. But the points
+shall be squared at the ends&mdash;on that I am determined."</p>
+
+<p>Laura now took up a volume of the juvenile annual, entitled the Pearl,
+and said to Augusta, "You have most probably a complete set of the
+Pearl."</p>
+
+<p>"After all, mamma," pursued Augusta, "butterfly bows are much prettier
+than shell-bows. What were you saying just now, Miss Lovel, about my
+having a set of pearls?&mdash;you may well ask;"&mdash;looking spitefully towards
+the back-parlour, in which her father was sitting. "Papa holds out that
+he will not give me a set till I am eighteen; and as to gold chains, and
+corals, and cornelians, I am sick of them, and I won't wear them at all;
+so you see me without any ornaments whatever, which you must think very
+peculiar."</p>
+
+<p>Laura had tact enough to perceive that any further attempt at a
+conversation on books would be unavailing; and she made some inquiry
+about the annual exhibition of pictures at the Athenæum.</p>
+
+<p>"I believe it is a very good one," replied Mrs. Brantley. "We stopped
+there one day on our way to dine with some friends out of town. But as
+the carriage was waiting, and the horses were impatient, we only stayed
+a few minutes, just long enough to walk round."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! yes, mamma," cried Augusta; "and don't you recollect we saw Miss
+Darford there in a new dress of lavender-coloured grenadine, though
+grenadines have been over these hundred years. And there was pretty Mrs.
+Lenham, as the gentlemen call her, in a puce-coloured italianet, though
+italianets have been out for ages. And don't you remember Miss Grover's
+canary-coloured reps bonnet, that looked as if it had been made in the
+ark. The idea of any one wearing reps! a thing that has not been seen
+since the flood! Only think of reps!"</p>
+
+<p>Laura Lovel wondered what <i>reps</i> could possibly be. "Now I talk of
+bonnets," pursued Augusta; "pray, mamma, did you tell Miss Pipingcord
+that I would have my Tuscan Leghorn trimmed with the lilac and green
+riband, instead of the blue and yellow?"</p>
+
+<p>"Indeed," replied Mrs. Brantley, "I found your cousin Mary so extremely
+ill this afternoon when I went to see her, and my sister so very uneasy
+on her account, that I absolutely forgot to call at the milliner's, as I
+had promised you."</p>
+
+<p>"Was there ever anything so vexatious!" exclaimed Augusta, throwing
+down her bead-work. "Really, mamma, there is no trusting you at all. You
+never remember to do anything you are desired." And flying to the bell,
+she rang it with violence.</p>
+
+<p>"I could think of nothing but poor Mary's danger," said Mrs. Brantley,
+"and the twenty-five leeches that I saw on her forehead."</p>
+
+<p>"Dreadful!" ejaculated Augusta. "But you might have supposed that the
+leeches would do her good, as, of course, they will. Here, William,"
+addressing the servant-man that had just entered, "run as if you were
+running for your life to Miss Pipingcord, the milliner, and tell her
+upon no account whatever to trim Miss Brantley's Tuscan Leghorn with the
+blue and yellow riband that was decided on yesterday. Tell her I have
+changed my mind, and resolved upon the lilac and green. Fly as if you
+had not another moment to live, or Miss Pipingcord will have already
+trimmed the bonnet with the blue and yellow."</p>
+
+<p>"And then," said Mrs. Brantley, "go to Mrs. Ashmore's, and inquire how
+Miss Mary is this evening."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, mamma," exclaimed Augusta, "aunt Ashmore lives so far from Miss
+Pipingcord's, that it will be ten or eleven o'clock before William gets
+back, and I shall be all that time on thorns to know if she has not
+already disfigured my bonnet with the vile blue and yellow."</p>
+
+<p>"Yesterday," said Mrs. Brantley, "you admired that very riband
+extremely."</p>
+
+<p>"So I did," replied Augusta, "but I have been thinking about it since,
+and, as I tell you, I have changed my mind. And now that I have set my
+heart upon the lilac and green, I absolutely detest the blue and
+yellow."</p>
+
+<p>"But I am really very anxious to know how Mary is to-night," said Mrs.
+Brantley.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" replied Augusta, "I dare say the leeches have relieved her. And if
+they have not, no doubt Dr. Warren will order twenty-five more&mdash;or
+something else that will answer the purpose. She is in very good
+hands&mdash;I am certain that in the morning we shall hear she is
+considerably better. At all events, I <i>will not</i> wear the hateful blue
+and yellow riband.&mdash;William, what are you standing for?"</p>
+
+<p>The man turned to leave the room, but Mrs. Brantley called him back.
+"William," said she, "tell one of the women to go to Mrs. Ashmore's and
+inquire how Miss Mary is."</p>
+
+<p>"Eliza and Matilda are both out," said William, "and Louisa is crying
+with the toothache, and steaming her face over hot yerbs. I guess she
+won't be willing to walk so far in the night-air, just out of the
+steam."</p>
+
+<p>"William," exclaimed Augusta, stamping with her foot, "don't stand here
+talking, but go at once; there's not a moment to lose. Tell Miss
+Pipingcord if she <i>has</i> put on that horrid riband, she must take it off
+again, and charge it in the bill, if she pretends she can't afford to
+lose it, as I dare say she will; and tell her to be sure and send the
+bonnet home early in the morning&mdash;I am dying to see it."</p>
+
+<p>To all this, Laura Lovel had sat listening in amazement, and could
+scarcely conceive the possibility of the mind of so young a girl being
+totally absorbed in things that concerned nothing but external
+appearance. She had yet to learn that a passion for dress, when
+thoroughly excited in the female bosom, and carried to excess, has a
+direct tendency to cloud the understanding, injure the temper, and
+harden the heart.</p>
+
+<p>Till the return of William, Augusta seemed indeed to be on thorns. At
+last he came, and brought with him the bonnet, trimmed with the blue and
+yellow. Augusta snatched it out of the bandbox, and stood speechless
+with passion, and William thus delivered his message from the
+milliner:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Pippincod sends word that she had riband'd the bonnet afore I come
+for it&mdash;she says she has used up all her laylock green for another
+lady's bonnet, as chose it this very afternoon; and she guesses you
+won't stand no chance of finding no more of it, if you sarch Boston
+through; and she says she shew you all her ribands yesterday, and you
+chose the yellow blue yourself, and she han't got no more ribands as
+you'd be likely to like. Them's her very words."</p>
+
+<p>"How I hate milliners!" exclaimed Augusta; and ringing for the maid that
+always assisted her in undressing, she flounced out of the room and went
+to bed.</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Lovel," said Mrs. Brantley, smiling, "you must excuse dear
+Augusta. She is extremely sensitive about everything, and that is the
+reason she is apt to give way to these little fits of irritation."</p>
+
+<p>Laura retired to her room, grieving to think how unamiable a young girl
+might be made, by the indulgence of an inordinate passion for dress.</p>
+
+<p>Augusta's cousin Mary did not die.</p>
+
+<p>The following day was to have been devoted to shopping, and to making
+some additions to the simple wardrobe of Laura Lovel, for which purpose
+her father had given her as much money as he could possibly spare. But
+it rained till late in the afternoon, and Mrs. Brantley's coach was out
+of order, and the Brantleys (like many other families that kept
+carriages of their own) could not conceive the possibility of <i>hiring</i> a
+similar vehicle upon any exigency whatever.</p>
+
+<p>It is true that the present case was in reality no exigency at all; but
+Mrs. Brantley and her daughter seemed to consider it as such, from the
+one watching the clouds all day as she sat at the window, in her
+rocking-chair, and the other wandering about like a troubled spirit,
+fretting all the time, and complaining of the weather. Laura got through
+the hours very well, between reading Souvenirs (almost the only books in
+the house) and writing a long letter to inform her family of her safe
+arrival, and to describe her journey. Towards evening, a coach was heard
+to stop at the door, and there was a violent ringing, followed by a loud
+sharp voice in the entry, inquiring for Mrs. Brantley, who started from
+her rocking-chair, as Augusta exclaimed, "Miss Frampton!&mdash;I know 'tis
+Miss Frampton!" The young lady rushed into the hall, while her mother
+advanced a few steps, and Mr. Brantley threw down his paper, and
+hastened into the front-parlour with a look that expressed anything but
+satisfaction.</p>
+
+<p>There was no time for comment or preparation. The sound was heard of
+baggage depositing, and in a few moments Augusta returned to the
+parlour, hanging lovingly on the arm of a lady in a very handsome
+travelling dress, who flew to Mrs. Brantley and kissed her familiarly,
+and then shook hands with her husband, and was introduced by him to our
+heroine.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Frampton was a fashionable-looking woman, of no particular age. Her
+figure was good, but her features were the contrary, and the expression
+of her eye was strikingly bad. She had no relations, but she talked
+incessantly of her <i>friends</i>&mdash;for so she called every person whom she
+knew by sight, provided always that they were <i>presentable</i> people. She
+had some property, on the income of which she lived, exercising close
+economy in everything but dress. Sometimes she boarded out, and
+sometimes she billeted herself on one or other of these said friends,
+having no scruples of delicacy to deter her from eagerly availing
+herself of the slightest hint that might be construed into the semblance
+of an invitation. In short, she was assiduous in trying to get
+acquainted with everybody from whom anything was to be gained,
+flattering them to their faces, though she abused them behind their
+backs. Still, strange to tell, she had succeeded in forcing her way into
+the outworks of what is called society. She dressed well, professed to
+know everybody, and to go everywhere, was <i>au fait</i> of all the gossip of
+the day, and could always furnish ample food for the too prevailing
+appetite for scandal. Therefore, though every one disliked Miss
+Frampton, still every one tolerated her; and though a notorious
+calumniator, she excited so much fear, that it was generally thought
+safer to keep up some slight intercourse with her, than to affront her
+by throwing her off entirely.</p>
+
+<p>Philadelphia was her usual place of residence; but she had met the
+Brantley family at the Saratoga Springs, had managed to accompany them
+to New York on their way home, had boarded at Bunker's during the week
+they stayed at that house, had assisted them in their shopping
+expeditions, and professed a violent regard for Augusta, who professed
+the same for her. Mrs. Brantley's slight intimation "that she should be
+glad to see her if ever she came to Boston," Miss Frampton had now taken
+advantage of, on pretext of benefiting by change of air. Conscious of
+her faded looks, but still hoping to pass for a young woman, she
+pretended always to be in precarious health, though of this there was
+seldom any proof positive.</p>
+
+<p>On being introduced to Laura Lovel, as to a young lady on a visit to the
+family, Miss Frampton, who at once considered her an interloper,
+surveyed our heroine from head to foot, with something like a sneer, and
+exchanged significant glances with Augusta.</p>
+
+<p>As soon as Miss Frampton had taken her seat, "My dear Mrs. Brantley,"
+said she, "how delighted I am to see you! And my sweet Augusta, too! Why
+she has grown a perfect sylph!"</p>
+
+<p>After hearing this, Augusta could not keep her seat five minutes
+together, but was gliding and flitting about all the remainder of the
+evening, and hovering round Miss Frampton's chair.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Frampton continued, "Yes, my dear Mrs. Brantley, my health has, as
+usual, been extremely delicate. My friends have been seriously alarmed
+for me, and all my physicians have been quite miserable on my account.
+Dr. Dengue has been seen driving through the streets like a madman, in
+his haste to get to me. Poor man!&mdash;you must have heard the report of
+his suffering Mrs. Smith's baby to die with the croup, from neglecting
+to visit it, which, if true, was certainly in very bad taste. However,
+Dr. Dengue is one of my oldest friends, and a most charming man."</p>
+
+<p>"But, as I was saying, my health still continued delicate,
+and excitement was unanimously recommended by the medical
+gentlemen&mdash;excitement and ice-cream. And as soon as this was known in
+society, it is incredible how many parties were made for me, and how
+many excursions were planned on my account. I had carriages at my door
+day and night. My friends were absolutely dragging me from each other's
+arms. Finally they all suggested entire change of air, and total change
+of scene. So I consented to tear myself awhile from my beloved
+Philadelphia, and pay you my promised visit in Boston."</p>
+
+<p>"We are much obliged to you," said Mrs. Brantley. "And really," pursued
+Miss Frampton, "I had so many engagements on my hands, that I had fixed
+five different days for starting, and disappointed five different
+escorts. My receiving-room was like a levee every morning at visiting
+hours, with young gentlemen of fashion, coming to press their services,
+as is always the case when it is reported in Philadelphia that Miss
+Frampton has a disposition to travel. A whole procession of my friends
+accompanied me to the steamboat, and I believe I had more than a dozen
+elegant smelling-bottles presented to me&mdash;as it is universally known how
+much I always suffer during a journey, being deadly sick on the water,
+and in a constant state of nervous agitation while riding."</p>
+
+<p>"And who did you come with at last?" asked Mrs. Brantley.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! with my friends the Twamberleys, of your city," replied Miss
+Frampton. "The whole family had been at Washington, and as soon as I
+heard they were in Philadelphia on their return home, I sent to
+inquire&mdash;that is, or rather, I mean, <i>they</i> sent to inquire as soon as
+they came to town, and heard that I intended visiting Boston&mdash;they sent
+to inquire if I would make them happy by joining their party."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," observed Mr. Brantley, "I cannot imagine how you got along with
+all the Twamberleys. Mr. Twamberley, besides being a clumsy, fat man,
+upwards of seventy years old, and lame with the gout, and nearly quite
+deaf, and having cataracts coming on both eyes, is always obliged to
+travel with his silly young wife, and the eight children of her first
+husband, and I should think he had enough to do in taking care of
+himself and them. I wonder you did not prefer availing yourself of the
+politeness of some of the single gentlemen you mentioned."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" replied Miss Frampton, "any of them would have been too happy, as
+they politely expressed it, to have had the pleasure of waiting on me to
+Boston. Indeed, I knew not how to make a selection, being unwilling to
+offend any of them by a preference. And then again, it is always in
+better taste for young ladies to travel, and, indeed, to go everywhere,
+under the wing of a married woman. I dote upon chaperones; and by coming
+with this family, I had Mrs. Twamberley to matronize me. I have just
+parted with them all at their own door, where they were set down."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Brantley smiled when he thought of Mrs. Twamberley (who had been
+married to her first husband at fifteen, and was still a blooming
+girlish looking woman) matronizing the faded Miss Frampton, so evidently
+by many years her senior.</p>
+
+<p>Laura Lovel, though new to the world, had sufficient good sense and
+penetration to perceive almost immediately, that Miss Frampton was a
+woman of much vanity and pretension, and that she was in the habit of
+talking with great exaggeration; and in a short time she more than
+suspected that many of her assertions were arrant falsehoods&mdash;a fact
+that was well known to all those numerous persons that Miss Frampton
+called her <i>friends</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Tea was now brought in, and Miss Frampton took occasion to relate in
+what manner she had discovered that the famous silver urn of that
+charming family, the Sam Kettlethorps, was, in reality, only
+plated&mdash;that her particular favourites, the Joe Sowerbys, showed such
+bad taste at their great terrapin supper, as to have green hock-glasses
+for the champagne; and that those delightful people, the Bob Skutterbys,
+the first time they attempted the new style of heaters at a venison
+dinner, had them filled with spirits of turpentine, instead of spirits
+of wine.</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, Miss Frampton did not appear at the breakfast-table, but
+had her first meal carried into her room, and Augusta breakfasted with
+her. Between them Laura Lovel was discussed at full length, and their
+conclusion was, that she had not a single good feature&mdash;that her
+complexion was nothing, her figure nothing, and her dress worse than
+nothing.</p>
+
+<p>"I don't suppose," said Augusta, "that her father has given her much
+money to bring to town with her."</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure he has not," replied Miss Frampton, "if he is only a poor
+country clergyman. I think it was in very bad taste for him to let her
+come at all."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Augusta, "we must take her a shopping this morning, and try
+to get her fitted out, so as to make a decent appearance at Nahant, as
+we are going thither in a few days."</p>
+
+<p>"Then I have come just in the right time," said Miss Frampton. "Nahant
+is the very place I wish to visit&mdash;my sweet friend Mrs. Dick Pewsey has
+given me such an account of it. She says there is considerable style
+there. She passed a week at Nahant when she came to Boston last summer."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! I remember her," cried Augusta. "She was a mountain of blonde
+lace."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," observed Miss Frampton, "and not an inch of that blonde has yet
+been paid for, or ever will be; I know it from good authority."</p>
+
+<p>They went shopping, and Augusta took them to the most fashionable store
+in Washington street, where Laura was surprised and confused at the
+sight of the various beautiful articles shown to them. Even their names
+perplexed her. She knew very well what gros de Naples was (or gro de
+nap, as it is commonly called), but she was at a loss to distinguish
+gros de Berlin, gros de Suisse, gros des Indes, and all the other gros.
+Augusta, however, was au fait of the whole, and talked and flitted, and
+glided; producing, as she supposed, great effect among the young
+salesmen at the counters. Miss Frampton examined everything with a
+scrutinizing eye, undervalued them all, and took frequent occasions to
+say that they were far inferior to similar articles in Philadelphia.</p>
+
+<p>At length, a very light-coloured figured silk, with a very new name, was
+selected for Laura. The price appeared to her extremely high, and when
+she heard the number of yards that were considered necessary, she
+faintly asked "if less would not do." Miss Frampton sneered, and Augusta
+laughed out, saying, "Don't you see that the silk is very narrow, and
+that it has a wrong side and a right side, and that the flowers have a
+top and a bottom? So as it cannot be turned every way, a larger quantity
+will be required."</p>
+
+<p>"Had I not better choose a plain silk," said Laura, "one that is wider,
+and that <i>can</i> be turned any way?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! plain silks are so common," replied Augusta; "though, for a change,
+they are well enough. I have four. But this will be best for Nahant. We
+always dress to go there; and, of course, we expect all of our party to
+do the same."</p>
+
+<p>"But really this silk is so expensive," whispered Laura.</p>
+
+<p>"Let the dress be cut off," said Miss Frampton, in a peremptory tone. "I
+am tired of so much hesitation. Tis in very bad taste."</p>
+
+<p>The dress <i>was</i> cut off, and Laura, on calculating the amount, found
+that it would make a sad inroad on her little modicum. Being told that
+she must have also a new printed muslin, one was chosen for her with a
+beautiful sky blue for the predominant colour, and Laura found that this
+also was a very costly dress. She was next informed that she could not
+be presentable without a French pelerine of embroidered muslin.</p>
+
+<p>Pelerines in great variety were then produced, and Laura found, to her
+dismay, that the prices were from ten to twenty-five dollars. She
+declined taking one, and Miss Frampton and Augusta exchanged looks which
+said, as plainly as looks could speak, "I suppose she has not money
+enough."</p>
+
+<p>Laura coloured&mdash;hesitated&mdash;at last false pride got the better of her
+scruples. The salesman commended the beauty of the pelerines;
+particularly of one tied up in the front, and ornamented on the
+shoulders, with bows of blue riband&mdash;and our heroine yielded, and took
+it at fifteen dollars; those at ten dollars being voted by Miss Frampton
+"absolutely mean."</p>
+
+<p>After this, Laura was induced to supply herself with silk stockings and
+white kid gloves, "of a new style," and was also persuaded to give five
+dollars for a small scarf, also of a new style. And when all these
+purchases were made, she found that three quarters of a dollar were all
+that remained in her purse. Augusta also bought several new articles;
+but Miss Frampton got nothing. However, she insisted afterwards on going
+into every fancy store in Washington street&mdash;not to buy, but "to see
+what they had": and gave much trouble in causing the salesmen needlessly
+to display their goods to her, and some offence by making invidious
+comparisons between their merchandise and that of Philadelphia. By the
+time all this shopping was over, the clock of the Old South had struck
+two, and it was found expedient to postpone till next day the intended
+visit to the milliner and mantua-maker, Miss Frampton and Augusta
+declaring that, of afternoons, they were never fit for anything but to
+throw themselves on the bed and go to sleep. Laura Lovel, fatigued both
+in body and mind, and feeling much dissatisfied with herself, was glad
+of a respite from the pursuit of finery, though it was only till next
+morning; and she was almost "at her wit's end" to know in what way she
+was to pay for having her dress made&mdash;much less for the fashionable new
+bonnet which her companions insisted on her getting&mdash;Augusta giving more
+than hints, that if she went with the family to Nahant, they should
+expect her "to look like other people;" and Miss Frampton signifying in
+loud whispers, that "those who were unable to make an appearance, had
+always better stay at home."</p>
+
+<p>In the evening there were some visitors, none of whom were very
+entertaining or agreeable, though all the ladies were excessively
+dressed. Laura was reminded of the homely proverb, "Birds of a feather
+flock together." The chief entertainment was listening to Augusta's
+music, who considered herself to play and sing with wonderful execution.
+But to the unpractised ears and eyes of our heroine, it seemed nothing
+more than an alternate succession of high shrieks and low murmurs,
+accompanied by various contortions of the face, sundry bowings and
+wavings of the body, great elevation of the shoulders and squaring of
+the elbows, and incessant quivering of the fingers, and throwing back of
+the hands. Miss Frampton talked all the while in a low voice to a lady
+that sat next to her, and turned round at intervals to assure Augusta
+that her singing was divine, and that she reminded her of Madame Feron.</p>
+
+<p>Augusta had just finished a very great song, and was turning over her
+music-books in search of another, when a slight ring was heard at the
+street door, and as William opened it, a weak, hesitating voice inquired
+for Miss Laura Lovel, adding, "I hope to be excused. I know I ought not
+to make so free; but I heard this afternoon that Miss Laura, eldest
+daughter of the Reverend Edward Lovel of Rosebrook, Massachusetts, is
+now in this house, and I have walked five miles into town, for the
+purpose of seeing the young lady. However, I ought not to consider the
+walk as anything, and it was improper in me to speak of it at all. The
+young lady is an old friend of mine, if I may be so bold as to say so."</p>
+
+<p>"There's company in the parlour," said William, in a tone not over
+respectful; "very particular company."</p>
+
+<p>"I won't meddle with any of the company," proceeded the voice. "I am
+very careful never to make myself disagreeable. But I just wish (if I am
+not taking too great a liberty) to see Miss Laura Lovel."</p>
+
+<p>"Shall I call her out," said William.</p>
+
+<p>"I would not for the world give her the trouble," replied the stranger.
+"It is certainly my place to go to the young lady, and not hers to come
+to me. I always try to be polite. I hope you don't find me unpleasant."</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Lovel," said Miss Frampton, sneeringly, "this must certainly be
+<i>your</i> beau."</p>
+
+<p>The parlour-door being open, the whole of the preceding dialogue had
+been heard by the company, and Miss Frampton, from the place in which
+she sat, had a view of the stranger, as he stood in the entry.</p>
+
+<p>William, then, with an unsuppressed grin, ushered into the room a
+little, thin, weak-looking man, who had a whitish face, and dead light
+hair, cut straight across his forehead. His dress was scrupulously neat,
+but very unfashionable. He wore a full suit of yellowish brown cloth,
+with all the gloss on. His legs were covered with smooth cotton
+stockings, and he had little silver knee-buckles. His shirt collar and
+cravat were stiff and blue, the latter being tied in front with very
+long ends, and in his hand he held a blue bandanna handkerchief,
+carefully folded up. His whole deportment was stiff and awkward.</p>
+
+<p>On entering the room, he bowed very low with a peculiar jerk of the
+head, and his whole appearance and manner denoted the very acme of
+humility. The company regarded him with amazement, and Miss Frampton
+began to whisper, keeping her eye fixed on him all the time. Laura
+started from her chair, hastened to him, and holding out her hand,
+addressed him by the name of Pyam Dodge. He took the proffered hand,
+after a moment of hesitation, and said, "I hope I am properly sensible
+of your kindness, Miss Laura Lovel, in allowing me to take your hand,
+now that you are grown. Many a time have I led you to my school, when I
+boarded at your respected father's, who I trust is well. But now I would
+not, on any account, be too familiar."</p>
+
+<p>(Laura pointed to a chair.)</p>
+
+<p>"But which is the mistress of the house? I know perfectly well that it
+is proper for me to pay my respects to her, before I take the liberty of
+sitting down under her roof. If I may presume to say that I understand
+anything thoroughly, it is certainly good manners. In my school, manners
+were always perfectly well taught&mdash;my own manners, I learned chiefly
+from my revered uncle, Deacon Ironskirt, formerly of Wicketiquock, but
+now of Popsquash."</p>
+
+<p>Laura then introduced Pyam Dodge to the lady of the house, who received
+him civilly, and then to Mr. Brantley, who, perceiving that the poor
+schoolmaster was what is called a character, found his curiosity excited
+to know what he would do next.</p>
+
+<p>This ceremony over, Pyam Dodge bowed round to each of the company
+separately. Laura saw at once that he was an object of ridicule; and his
+entire want of tact, and his pitiable simplicity, had never before
+struck her so forcibly. She was glad when, at last, he took a seat
+beside her, and, in a low voice, she endeavoured to engage him in a
+conversation that should prevent him from talking to any one else. She
+found that he was master of a district school about five miles from
+Boston, and that he was perfectly contented&mdash;for more than that he had
+never aspired to be.</p>
+
+<p>But vain were the efforts of our heroine to keep Pyam Dodge to herself,
+and to prevent him from manifesting his peculiarities to the rest of the
+company. Perceiving that Augusta had turned round on her music-stool to
+listen and to look at him, the schoolmaster rose on his feet, and bowing
+first to the young lady, and then to her mother, he said: "Madam, I am
+afraid that I have disturbed the child while striking on her
+pyano-forty. I would on no account cause any interruption&mdash;for that
+might be making myself disagreeable. On the contrary, it would give me
+satisfaction for the child to continue her exercise, and I shall esteem
+it a privilege to hear how she plays her music. I have taught singing
+myself."</p>
+
+<p>Augusta then, by desire of her mother, commenced a new bravura, which
+ran somehow thus:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Oh! drop a tear, a tender tear&mdash;oh! drop a tear, a tender, tender tear.
+Oh! drop, oh! drop, oh! dro-o-op a te-en-der te-e-ear&mdash;a tender tear&mdash;a
+tear for me&mdash;a tear for me; a tender tear for me.</p>
+
+<p>When I, when I, when I-I-I am wand'ring, wand'ring, wand'ring, wand'ring
+far, far from thee&mdash;fa-a-ar, far, far, far from thee&mdash;from thee.</p>
+
+<p>For sadness in&mdash;for sadness in, my heart, my heart shall reign&mdash;shall
+re-e-e-ign&mdash;my hee-e-art&mdash;for sa-a-adness in my heart shall reign&mdash;shall
+reign.</p>
+
+<p>Until&mdash;until&mdash;unti-i-il we fondly, fondly meet again, we fondly meet,
+we fo-o-ondly me-e-et&mdash;until we fondly, fondly, fondly meet&mdash;meet, meet,
+meet again&mdash;we meet again.</p>
+
+<p>This song (in which the silliness of the words was increased tenfold by
+the incessant repetition of them), after various alternations of high
+and low, fast and slow, finished in thunder, Augusta striking the
+concluding notes with an energy that made the piano tremble.</p>
+
+<p>When the bravura was over, Pyam Dodge, who had stood listening in
+amazement, looked at Mrs. Brantley, and said: "Madam, your child must
+doubtless sing that song very well when she gets the right tune."</p>
+
+<p>"The right tune!" interrupted Augusta, indignantly.</p>
+
+<p>"The right tune!" echoed Mrs. Brantley and Miss Frampton.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," said Pyam Dodge, solemnly&mdash;"and the right words also. For what I
+have just heard is, of course, neither the regular tune nor the proper
+words, as they seem to go every how&mdash;therefore I conclude that all this
+wandering and confusion was caused by the presence of strangers: myself,
+in all probability, being the greatest stranger, if I may be so bold as
+to say so. This is doubtless the reason why she mixed up the words at
+random, and repeated the same so often, and why her actions at the
+pyano-forty are so strange. I trust that at other times she plays and
+sings so as to give the proper sense."</p>
+
+<p>Augusta violently shut down the lid of the piano, and gave her father a
+look that implied: "Won't you turn him out of the house?" But Mr.
+Brantley was much diverted, and laughed audibly.</p>
+
+<p>Pyam Dodge surveyed himself from head to foot, ascertained that his
+knee-buckles were fast, and his cravat not untied, and, finding all his
+clothes in complete order, he said, looking round to the company: "I
+hope there is nothing ridiculous about me. It is my endeavour to appear
+as well as possible; but the race is not always to the swift, nor the
+battle to the strong."</p>
+
+<p>"Upon my word," said Miss Frampton, leaning across the centre-table to
+Mrs. Brantley, "your <i>protegée</i> seems to have a strange taste in her
+acquaintances. However, that is always the case with people who have
+never been in society, as my friend Mrs. Tom Spradlington justly
+remarks."</p>
+
+<p>A waiter with refreshments was now brought in, and handed round to the
+company. When it came to Pyam Dodge, he rose on his feet, and thanked
+the man for handing it to him; then, taking the smallest possible
+quantity of each of the different articles, he put all on the same
+plate, and, unfolding his blue bandanna, he spread it carefully and
+smoothly over his knees, and commenced eating with the smallest possible
+mouthfuls, praising everything as he tasted it. The wine being offered
+to him, he respectfully declined it, signifying that he belonged to the
+Temperance Society. But he afterwards took a glass of lemonade, on being
+assured that it was not punch, and again rising on his feet, he drank
+the health of each of the company separately, and not knowing their
+names, he designated them as the lady in the blue gown, the lady in the
+white gown, the gentleman in the black coat, &amp;c.</p>
+
+<p>This ceremony over, Pyam Dodge took out an old-fashioned silver watch,
+of a shape almost globular, and looking at the hour, he made many
+apologies for going away so soon, having five miles to walk, and
+requested that his departure might not break up the company. He then
+bowed all round again&mdash;told Laura he would thank her for her hand,
+which, on her giving him, he shook high and awkwardly, walked backwards
+to the door and ran against it, trusted he had made himself agreeable,
+and at last departed.</p>
+
+<p>The front-door had scarcely closed after him, when a general laugh took
+place, which even Laura could scarcely refrain from joining in.</p>
+
+<p>"Upon my word, Miss Lovel," said Augusta, "this friend of yours is the
+most peculiar person I ever beheld."</p>
+
+<p>"I never saw a man in worse taste," remarked Miss Frampton.</p>
+
+<p>In a moment another ring was heard at the door, and on its being opened,
+Pyam Dodge again made his appearance in the parlour, to beg pardon of
+the lady of the house, for not having returned thanks for his
+entertainment, and also to the <i>young</i> lady for her music, which, he
+said, "was doubtless well meant." He then repeated his bows and
+withdrew.</p>
+
+<p>"What an intolerable fool!" exclaimed Augusta.</p>
+
+<p>"Indeed," replied Laura Lovel, "he is, after all, not deficient in
+understanding, though his total want of tact, and his entire ignorance
+of the customs of the world, give an absurdity to his manner, which I
+confess it is difficult to witness without a smile. I have heard my
+father say that Pyam Dodge is one of the best classical scholars he ever
+knew, and he is certainly a man of good feelings, and of irreproachable
+character."</p>
+
+<p>"I never knew a bore that was not," remarked Miss Frampton.</p>
+
+<p>There was again a ring at the door, and again Pyam Dodge was ushered in.
+His business now was to inform Miss Laura Lovel, that if she did not see
+him every day during her residence in Boston, she must not impute the
+infrequency of his visits to any disrespect on his part, but rather to
+his close confinement to the duties of his school&mdash;besides which, his
+leisure time was much occupied in studying Arabic; but he hoped to make
+his arrangements, so as to be able to come to town and spend at least
+three evenings with her every week.</p>
+
+<p>At this intimation there were such evident tokens of disapproval, on the
+part of the Brantley family and Miss Frampton, and of embarrassment on
+that of Laura, that poor Pyam Dodge, obtuse as he was to the things of
+this world, saw that the announcement of his visits was not perfectly
+well received. He looked amazed at this discovery, but bowed lower than
+ever, hoped he was not disgusting, and again retreated.</p>
+
+<p>Once more was heard at the door the faint ring that announced the
+schoolmaster. "Assuredly," observed a gentleman present, "this must be
+the original Return Strong."</p>
+
+<p>This time, however, poor Pyam Dodge did not venture into the parlour,
+but was heard meekly to inquire of the servant, if he had not dropped
+his handkerchief in the hall. The handkerchief was picked up, and he
+finally departed, humbly hoping "that the gentleman attending the door,
+had not found him troublesome." The moment he was gone, the gentleman
+that attended the door was heard audibly to put down the dead-latch.</p>
+
+<p>Next day Augusta Brantley gave a standing order to the servants, that
+whenever Miss Lovel's schoolmaster came, he was to be told that the
+whole family were out of town.</p>
+
+<p>In the morning, Laura was conveyed by Augusta and Miss Frampton to the
+mantua-maker's, and Miss Boxpleat demurred a long time about undertaking
+the two dresses, and longer still about finishing them that week, in
+consequence of the vast quantity of work she had now on hand. Finally
+she consented, assuring Laura Lovel that she only did so to oblige Miss
+Brantley.</p>
+
+<p>Laura then asked what would be her charge for making the dresses. Miss
+Boxpleat reddened, and vouchsafed no reply; Miss Frampton laughed out,
+and Augusta twitched Laura's sleeve, who wondered what <i>faux pas</i> she
+had committed, till she learned in a whisper, that it was an affront to
+the dressmaker to attempt to bargain with her beforehand, and our
+heroine, much disconcerted, passively allowed herself to be fitted for
+the dresses.</p>
+
+<p>Laura had a very pretty bonnet of the finest and whitest split straw,
+modestly trimmed with white lutestring riband; but her companions told
+her that there was no existing without a dress-hat, and she was
+accordingly carried to Miss Pipingcord's. Here they found that all the
+handsomest articles of this description were already engaged, but they
+made her bespeak one of a very expensive silk, trimmed with flowers and
+gauze riband, and when she objected to the front, as exposing her whole
+face to the summer sun, she was told that of course she must have a
+blonde gauze veil. "We will stop at Whitaker's," said Augusta, "and see
+his assortment, and you can make the purchase at once." Laura knew that
+she could not, and steadily persisted in her refusal, saying that she
+must depend on her parasol for screening her face.</p>
+
+<p>Several other superfluities were pressed upon our poor heroine, as they
+proceeded along Washington street; Augusta really thinking it
+indispensable that Laura should be fashionably and expensively dressed,
+and Miss Frampton feeling a malignant pleasure in observing how much
+these importunities confused and distressed her.</p>
+
+<p>Laura sat down to dinner with an aching head, and no appetite, and
+afterwards retired to her room, and endeavoured to allay her uneasiness
+with a book.</p>
+
+<p>"So," said Miss Frampton to Mrs. Brantley, "this is the girl that dear
+Augusta tells me you think of inviting to pass the winter with you."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, is she not very pretty?" replied Mrs. Brantley.</p>
+
+<p>"Not in my eye," answered Miss Frampton. "Wait but two years, till my
+sweet Augusta is old enough and tall enough to come out, and you will
+have no occasion to invite beauties, for the purpose of drawing company
+to your house&mdash;for, of course, I cannot but understand the motive; and
+pray, how can the father of this girl enable her to make a proper
+appearance? When she has got through the two new dresses that we had so
+much difficulty in persuading her to venture upon, is she to return to
+her black marcelline?&mdash;You certainly do not intend to wrong your own
+child by going to the expense of dressing out this parson's daughter
+yourself. And, after all, these green young girls do not draw company
+half so well as ladies a few years older&mdash;decided women of ton, who are
+familiar with the whole routine of society, and have the veritable <i>air
+distingué</i>. One of that description would do more for your soirées, next
+winter, than twenty of these village beauties."</p>
+
+<p>Next day our heroine's new bonnet came home, accompanied by a bill of
+twelve dollars. She had supposed that the price would not exceed seven
+or eight. She had not the money, and her embarrassment was increased by
+Miss Frampton's examining the bill, and reminding her that there was a
+receipt to it. Laura's confusion was so palpable, that Mrs. Brantley
+felt some compassion for her, and said to the milliner's girl, "The
+young lady will call at Miss Pipingcord's, and pay for her hat." And the
+girl departed, first asking to have the bill returned to her, as it was
+receipted.</p>
+
+<p>When our heroine and her companions were out next morning, they passed
+by the milliner's, and Laura instinctively turned away her head. "You
+can now call at Miss Pipingcord's and pay her bill," said Miss Frampton.
+"It is here that she lives&mdash;don't you see her name on the door?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have not the money about me," said Laura, in a faltering voice&mdash;"I
+have left my purse at home." This was her first attempt at a subterfuge,
+and conscience-struck, she could not say another word during the walk.</p>
+
+<p>On the last day of the week, her dresses were sent home, with a bill of
+eleven dollars for making the two, not including what are called the
+trimmings, all of which were charged at about four times their real
+cost. Laura was more confounded than ever. Neither Mrs. Brantley nor
+Augusta happened to be present, but Miss Frampton was, and understood it
+all. "Can't you tell the girl you will call and settle Miss Boxpleat's
+bill?" said she. "Don't look so confused"&mdash;adding in a somewhat lower
+voice, "she will suspect you have no money to pay with&mdash;really, your
+behaviour is in very bad taste."</p>
+
+<p>Laura's lip quivered, and her cheek grew pale. Miss Frampton could
+scarcely help laughing, to see her so new to the world, and at last
+deigned to relieve her by telling Miss Boxpleat's girl that Miss Lovel
+would call and settle the bill.</p>
+
+<p>The girl was scarcely out of the room, when poor Laura, unable to
+restrain herself another moment, hid her face against one of the
+cushions of the ottoman, and burst into tears. The flinty heart of Miss
+Frampton underwent a momentary softening. She looked awhile in silence
+at Laura, and then said to her, "Why, you seem to take this very much to
+heart."</p>
+
+<p>"No wonder," replied Laura, sobbing&mdash;"I have expended all my money; all
+that my father gave me at my departure from home. At least I have only
+the merest trifle left; and how am I to pay either the milliner's bill,
+or the mantua-maker's?"</p>
+
+<p>Miss Frampton deliberated for a few moments, walked to the window, and
+stood there awhile&mdash;then approached the still weeping Laura, and said to
+her, "What would you say if a friend was to come forward to relieve you
+from this embarrassment?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have no friend," replied Laura, in a half-choked voice&mdash;"at least
+none here. Oh! how I wish that I had never left home!"</p>
+
+<p>Miss Frampton paused again, and finally offered Laura the loan of
+twenty-five dollars, till she could get money from her father. "I know
+not," said Laura, "how I can ask my father so soon for any more money. I
+am convinced that he gave me all he could possibly spare. I have done
+very wrong in allowing myself to incur expenses which I am unable to
+meet. I can never forgive myself. Oh! how miserable I am!" And she again
+covered her face and cried bitterly.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Frampton hesitated&mdash;but she had heard Mr. Brantley speak of Mr.
+Lovel as a man of the strictest integrity, and she was certain that he
+would strain every nerve, and redouble the economy of his family
+expenditure, rather than allow his daughter to remain long under
+pecuniary obligations to a stranger. She felt that she ran no risk in
+taking from her pocket-book notes to the amount of twenty-five dollars,
+and putting them into the hands of Laura, who had thought at one time of
+applying to Mr. Brantley for the loan of a sufficient sum to help her
+out of her present difficulties, but was deterred by a feeling of
+invincible repugnance to taxing any farther the kindness of her host,
+conceiving herself already under sufficient obligations to him as his
+guest, and a partaker of his hospitality. However, had she known more of
+the world and had a greater insight into the varieties of the human
+character, she would have infinitely preferred throwing herself on the
+generosity of Mr. Brantley, to becoming the debtor of Miss Frampton. As
+it was, she gratefully accepted the proffered kindness of that lady,
+feeling it a respite. Drying her tears, she immediately equipped herself
+for walking, hastened both to the milliner and the mantua-maker, and
+paying their bills, she returned home with a lightened heart.</p>
+
+<p>Laura Lovel had already begun to find her visit to the Brantley family
+less agreeable than she had anticipated. They had nothing in common with
+herself; their conversation was neither edifying nor entertaining. They
+had few books, except the Annuals; and though she passed the Circulating
+Libraries with longing eyes, she did not consider that she was
+sufficiently in funds to avail herself of their contents. No
+opportunities were offered her of seeing any of the shows of the city,
+and of those that casually fell in her way, she found her companions
+generally more ignorant than herself. They did not conceive that a
+stranger could be amused or interested with things that, having always
+been within their own reach, had failed to awaken in <i>them</i> the
+slightest curiosity. Mr. Brantley was infinitely the best of the family;
+but he was immersed in business all day, and in the newspapers all the
+evening. Mrs. Brantley was nothing, and Augusta's petulance and
+heartlessness, and Miss Frampton's impertinence (which somewhat
+increased after she lent the money to Laura), were equally annoying. The
+visitors of the family were nearly of the same stamp as its members.</p>
+
+<p>Laura, however, had looked forward with much anticipated pleasure to the
+long-talked-of visit to the sea-shore; and in the mean time her chief
+enjoyment was derived from the afternoon rides that were occasionally
+taken in Mr. Brantley's carriage, and which gave our heroine an
+opportunity of seeing something of the beautiful environs of Boston.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Frampton's fits of kindness were always very transient, and Laura's
+deep mortification at having been necessitated to accept a favour from
+such a woman, was rendered still more poignant by unavoidably
+overhearing (as she was dressing at her toilet-table that stood between
+two open windows) the following dialogue; the speakers being two of Mrs.
+Brantley's servant girls that were ironing in the kitchen porch, and who
+in talking to each other of the young ladies, always dropped the title
+of Miss:</p>
+
+<p>"Matilda," said one of them, "don't you hear Laura's bell? Didn't she
+tell you arter dinner, that she would ring for you arter a while, to
+come up stairs and hook the back of her dress."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," replied Matilda&mdash;"I hear it as plain as you do, Eliza; but I
+guess I shan't go till it suits me. I'm quite beat out with running up
+stairs from morning to night to wait on that there Philadelphy woman, as
+she takes such high airs. Who but she indeed! Any how, I'm not a going
+to hurry. I shall just act as if I did not hear no bell at all&mdash;for as
+to this here Laura, I guess she an't much. Augusta told me this morning,
+when she got me to fix her hair, that Miss Frampton told her that Laura
+axed and begged her, amost on her bare knees, to lend her some money to
+pay for her frocks and bunnet."</p>
+
+<p>"Why, how could she act so!" exclaimed Eliza.</p>
+
+<p>"Because," resumed Matilda, "her people sent her here without a copper
+in her pocket. So I guess they're a pretty shabby set, after all."</p>
+
+<p>"I was judging as much," said Eliza, "by her not taking no airs, and
+always acting so polite to everybody."</p>
+
+<p>"Well now," observed Matilda, "Mr. Scourbrass, the gentleman as lives
+with old Madam Montgomery, at the big house, in Bowdin Square, and helps
+to do her work, always stands out that very great people of the rale
+sort, act much better, and an't so apt to take airs as them what are
+upstarts."</p>
+
+<p>"Doctors differ," sagely remarked Eliza. "However, as you say, I don't
+believe this here Laura <i>is</i> much; and I'm thinking how she'll get along
+at Nahant. Miss Lathersoap, the lady as washes her clothes, told me,
+among other things, that Laura's pocket-handkerchers are all quite
+plain&mdash;not a worked or a laced one among them. Now our Augusta would
+scorn to carry a plain handkercher, and so would her mother."</p>
+
+<p>"I've taken notice of Laura's handkerchers myself," said Matilda, "and I
+don't see why we young ladies as lives out, and does people's work to
+oblige them, should be expected to run at the beck and call of any
+strangers they may choose to take into the house; let alone when they're
+not no great things."</p>
+
+<p>Laura retreated from the open windows, that she might hear no more of a
+conversation so painful to her. She would at once have written to her
+father, told him all, and begged him, if he possibly could, to send her
+money enough to repay Miss Frampton, but she had found, by a letter
+received the day before, that he had gone on some business to the
+interior of Maine, and would not be home in less than a fortnight.</p>
+
+<p>Next day was the one finally appointed for their removal to Nahant, and
+our heroine felt her spirits revive at the idea of beholding, for the
+first time in her life, "the sea, the sea, the open sea." They went in
+Mr. Brantley's carriage, and Laura understood that she <i>might</i> ride in
+her black silk dress and her straw bonnet.</p>
+
+<p>They crossed at the Winnisimmet Ferry, rode through Chelsea, and soon
+arrived at the flourishing town of Lynn, where every man was making
+shoes, and every woman binding them. The last sunbeams were glowing in
+the west, when they came to the beautiful Long Beach that connects the
+rocks of Lynn with those of Nahant, the sand being so firm and smooth
+that the shadow of every object is reflected in it downwards. The tide
+was so high that they drove along the verge of the surf, the horses'
+feet splashing through the water, and trampling on the shells and
+sea-weed left by the retiring waves. Cattle, as they went home, were
+cooling themselves by wading breast high in the breakers; and the little
+sand-birds were sporting on the crests of the billows, sometimes flying
+low, and dipping into the water the white edges of their wings, and
+sometimes seeming, with their slender feet, to walk on the surface of
+the foam. Beyond the everlasting breakers rolled the unbounded ocean,
+the haze of evening coming fast upon it, and the full moon rising broad
+and red through the misty veil of the eastern horizon.</p>
+
+<p>Laura Lovel felt as if she could have viewed this scene for ever, and at
+times she could not refrain from audibly expressing her delight. The
+other ladies were deeply engaged in listening to Miss Frampton's account
+of a ball and supper given by her intimate friend, that lovely woman,
+Mrs. Ben Derrydown, the evening before Mr. Ben Derrydown's last failure,
+and which ball and supper exceeded in splendour anything she had ever
+witnessed, except the wedding-party of her sweet love, Mrs. Nick
+Rearsby, whose furniture was seized by the sheriff a few months after;
+and the birth-night concert at the coming out of her darling pet, Kate
+Bolderhurst, who ran away next morning with her music-master.</p>
+
+<p>Our party now arrived at the Nahant Hotel, which was full of visitors,
+with some of whom the Brantleys were acquainted. After tea, when the
+company adjourned to the lower drawing-rooms, the extraordinary beauty
+of Laura Lovel drew the majority of the gentlemen to that side of the
+apartment on which the Brantley family were seated. Many introductions
+took place, and Mrs. Brantley felt in paradise at seeing that <i>her</i>
+party had attracted the greatest number of beaux. Miss Frampton
+generally made a point of answering everything that was addressed to
+Laura; and Augusta glided, and flitted, and chattered much impertinent
+nonsense to the gentlemen on the outskirts of the group, that were
+waiting for an opportunity of saying something to Miss Lovel.</p>
+
+<p>Our heroine was much confused at finding herself an object of such
+general attention, and was also overwhelmed by the officious volubility
+of Miss Frampton, though none of it was addressed to <i>her</i>. Mrs.
+Maitland, a lady as unlike Mrs. Brantley as possible, was seated on the
+other side of Laura Lovel, and was at once prepossessed in her favour,
+not only from the beauty of her features, but from the intelligence of
+her countenance. Desirous of being better acquainted, and seeing that
+Laura's present position was anything but pleasant to her, Mrs. Maitland
+proposed that they should take a turn in the veranda that runs round the
+second story of the hotel. To this suggestion Laura gladly assented&mdash;for
+she felt at once that Mrs. Maitland was just the sort of woman she would
+like to know. There was a refinement and dignity in her appearance and
+manner that showed her to be "every inch a lady;" but that dignity was
+tempered with a frankness and courtesy that put every one around her
+immediately at their ease. Though now in the autumn of life, her figure
+was still good&mdash;her features still handsome, but they derived their
+chief charm from the sensible and benevolent expression of her fine open
+countenance. Her attire was admirably suited to her face and person; but
+she was not over-dressed, and she was evidently one of those fortunate
+women who, without bestowing much time and attention upon it, are <i>au
+fait</i> of all that constitutes a correct and tasteful costume.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Maitland took Laura's arm within hers, and telling Mrs. Brantley
+that she was going to carry off Miss Lovel for half an hour, she made a
+sign to a fine-looking young man on the other side of the room, and
+introduced him as her son, Mr. Aubrey Maitland. He conducted the two
+ladies up stairs to the veranda, and in a few minutes our heroine felt
+as if she had been acquainted with the Maitlands for years. No longer
+kept down and oppressed by the night-mare influence of fools, her spirit
+expanded, and breathed once more. She expressed, without hesitation,
+her delight at the scene that presented itself before her&mdash;for she felt
+that she was understood.</p>
+
+<p>The moon, now "high in heaven," threw a solemn light on the trembling
+expanse of the ocean, and glittered on the spray that foamed and
+murmured for ever round the rocks that environed the little peninsula,
+their deep recesses slumbering in shade, while their crags and points
+came out in silver brightness. Around lay the numerous islands that are
+scattered over Boston harbour, and far apart glowed the fires of two
+light-houses, like immense stars beaming on the verge of the horizon;
+one of them, a revolving light, alternately shining out and
+disappearing. As a contrast to the still repose that reigned around, was
+the billiard-room (resembling a little Grecian temple), on a promontory
+that overlooked the sea&mdash;the lamps that shone through its windows,
+mingling with the moon-beams, and the rolling sound of the
+billiard-balls uniting with the murmur of the eternal waters.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Maitland listened with corresponding interest to the animated and
+original comments of her new friend, whose young and enthusiastic
+imagination had never been more vividly excited; and she drew her out,
+till Laura suddenly stopped, blushing with the fear that she had been
+saying too much. Before they returned to the drawing-room, Aubrey was
+decidedly and deeply in love.</p>
+
+<p>When Laura retired to her apartment, she left the window open, that she
+might from her pillow look out upon the moonlight sea, and be fanned by
+the cool night breeze that gently rippled its waters; and when she was
+at last lulled to repose by the monotonous dashing of the surf against
+the rocks beneath her casement, she had a dream of the peninsula of
+Nahant&mdash;not as it now is, covered with new and tasteful buildings, and a
+favourite resort of the fashion and opulence of Boston, but as it must
+have looked two centuries ago, when the seals made their homes among its
+caverned rocks, and when the only human habitations were the rude huts
+of the Indian fishers, and the only boats their canoes of bark and
+skins.</p>
+
+<p>When she awoke from her dream, she saw the morning-star sparkling high
+in the east, and casting on the dark surface of the sea a line of light
+which seemed to mimic that of the moon, long since gone down beyond the
+opposite horizon. Laura rose at the earliest glimpse of dawn to watch
+the approaches of the coming day. A hazy vapour had spread itself over
+the water, and through its gauzy veil she first beheld the red rim of
+the rising sun, seeming to emerge from its ocean bed. As the sun
+ascended, the mist slowly rolled away, and "the light of morning smiled
+upon the wave," and tinted the white sails of a little fleet of
+outward-bound fishing-boats.</p>
+
+<p>At the breakfast table the majority of the company consisted of ladies
+only: most of the gentlemen (including Aubrey Maitland) having gone in
+the early steamboat to attend to their business in the city. After
+breakfast, Laura proposed a walk, and Augusta and Miss Frampton, not
+knowing what else to do with themselves, consented to accompany her. A
+certain Miss Blunsdon (who, being an heiress, and of a patrician family,
+conceived herself privileged to do as she pleased, and therefore made it
+her pleasure to be a hoyden and a slattern), volunteered to pioneer
+them, boasting of her intimate knowledge of every nook and corner of the
+neighbourhood. Our heroine, by particular desire of Augusta and Miss
+Frampton, had arrayed herself that morning in her new French muslin,
+with what they called its proper accompaniments.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Blunsdon conducted the party to that singular cleft in the rocks,
+known by the name of the Swallow's Cave, in consequence of its having
+been formerly the resort of those birds, whose nests covered its walls.
+Miss Frampton stopped as soon as they came in sight of it, declaring
+that it was in bad taste for ladies to scramble about such rugged
+places, and Augusta agreeing that a fancy for wet, slippery rocks was
+certainly very peculiar. So the two friends sat down on the most level
+spot they could find, while Miss Blunsdon insisted on Laura's following
+her to the utmost extent of the cave, and our heroine's desire to
+explore this wild and picturesque recess made her forgetful of the
+probable consequences to her dress.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Blunsdon and Laura descended into the cleft, which, as they
+proceeded, became so narrow as almost to close above their heads; its
+lofty and irregular walls seeming to lose themselves in the blue sky.
+The passage at the bottom was in some places scarcely wide enough to
+allow them to squeeze through it. The tide was low, yet still the
+stepping-stones, loosely imbedded in the sand and sea-weed, were nearly
+covered with water. But Laura followed her guide to the utmost extent of
+the passage, till they looked out again upon the sea.</p>
+
+<p>When they rejoined their companions&mdash;"Oh! look at your new French
+muslin," exclaimed Augusta to Laura. "It is draggled half way up to your
+knees, and the salt water has already taken the colour out of it&mdash;and
+your pelerine is split down the back&mdash;and your shoes are half off your
+feet, and your stockings are all over wet sand. How very peculiar you
+look!"</p>
+
+<p>Laura was now extremely sorry to find her dress so much injured, and
+Miss Frampton comforted her by the assurance that it would never again
+be fit to be seen. They returned to the hotel, where they found Mrs.
+Maitland reading on one of the sofas in the upper hall. Laura was
+hastily running up stairs, but Augusta called out&mdash;"Mrs. Maitland, do
+look at Miss Lovel&mdash;did you ever see such a figure? She has demolished
+her new dress, scrambling through the Swallow's Cave with Miss
+Blunsdon." And she ran into the ladies' drawing-room to repeat the story
+at full length, while Laura retired to her room to try some means of
+remedying her disasters, and to regret that she had not been permitted
+to bring with her to Nahant some of her gingham morning dresses. The
+French muslin, however, was incurable; its blue, though very beautiful,
+being of that peculiar cast which always fades into a dull white when
+wet with water.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Frampton remained a while in the hall: and taking her seat beside
+Mrs. Maitland, said to her in a low confidential voice&mdash;"Have you not
+observed, Mrs. Maitland, that when people, who are nobody, attempt
+dress, they always overdo it. Only think of a country clergyman's
+daughter coming to breakfast in so expensive a French muslin, and then
+going out in it to clamber about the rocks, and paddle among the wet
+sea-weed. Now you will see what a show she will make at dinner in a
+dress, the cost of which would keep her whole family in comfortable
+calico gowns for two years. I was with her when she did her shopping,
+and though, as a friend, I could not forbear entreating her to get
+things that were suitable to her circumstances and to her station in
+life, she turned a deaf ear to everything I said (which was certainly in
+very bad taste), and she would buy nothing but the most expensive and
+useless frippery. I suppose she expects to catch the beaux by it. But
+when they find out who she is, I rather think they will only nibble at
+the bait&mdash;Heavens! what a wife she will make! And then such a want of
+self-respect, and even of common integrity. Of course you will not
+mention it&mdash;for I would on no consideration that it should go any
+farther&mdash;but between ourselves. I was actually obliged to lend her money
+to pay her bills."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Maitland, thoroughly disgusted with her companion, and disbelieving
+the whole of her gratuitous communication, rose from the sofa and
+departed without vouchsafing a reply.</p>
+
+<p>At dinner, Laura Lovel appeared in her new silk, and really looked
+beautifully. Miss Frampton, observing that our heroine attracted the
+attention of several gentlemen who had just arrived from the city, took
+an opportunity, while she was receiving a plate of chowder from one of
+the waiters, to spill part of it on Laura's dress.</p>
+
+<p>"I beg your pardon, Miss Lovel," said she; "when I took the soup I did
+not perceive that you and your new silk were beside me."</p>
+
+<p>Laura began to wipe her dress with her pocket-handkerchief. "Now don't
+look so disconcerted," pursued Miss Frampton, in a loud whisper. "It is
+in very bad taste to appear annoyed when an accident happens to your
+dress. People in society always pass off such things, as of no
+consequence whatever. I have apologized for spilling the soup, and what
+more can I do?"</p>
+
+<p>Poor Laura was not in <i>society</i>, and she knew that to <i>her</i> the accident
+<i>was</i> of consequence. However, she rallied, and tried to appear as if
+she thought no more of the mischance that had spoiled the handsomest and
+most expensive dress she had ever possessed. After dinner she tried to
+remove the immense grease-spot by every application within her reach,
+but had no success.</p>
+
+<p>When she returned to the drawing-room, she was invited to join a party
+that was going to visit the Spouting Horn, as it is generally
+denominated. She had heard this remarkable place much talked of since
+her arrival at Nahant, and she certainly felt a great desire to see it.
+Mrs. Maitland had letters to write, and Mrs. Brantley and Miss Frampton
+were engaged in their siesta; but Augusta was eager for the walk, as she
+found that several gentlemen were going, among them Aubrey Maitland, who
+had just arrived in the afternoon boat. His eyes sparkled at the sight
+of our heroine, and offering her his arm, they proceeded with the rest
+of the party to the Spouting Horn. This is a deep cavity at the bottom
+of a steep ledge of rocks, and the waves, as they rush successively into
+it with the tide, are immediately thrown out again by the action of a
+current of air which comes through a small opening at the back of the
+recess, the spray falling round like that of a cascade or fountain. The
+tide and wind were both high, and Laura was told that the Spouting Horn
+would be seen to great advantage.</p>
+
+<p>Aubrey Maitland conducted her carefully down the least rugged declivity
+of the rock, and gave her his hand to assist her in springing from point
+to point. They at length descended to the bottom of the crag. Laura was
+bending forward with eager curiosity, and looking steadfastly into the
+wave-worn cavern, much interested in the explosions of foaming water,
+which was sometimes greater and sometimes less. Suddenly a blast of wind
+twisted her light dress-bonnet completely round, and broke the sewing of
+one of the strings, and the bonnet was directly whirled before her into
+the cavity of the rock, and the next moment thrown back again amidst a
+shower of sea-froth. Laura cried out involuntarily, and Aubrey sprung
+forward, and snatched it out of the water.</p>
+
+<p>"I fear," said he, "Miss Level, your bonnet is irreparably injured." "It
+is, indeed," replied Laura; and remembering Miss Frampton's lecture, she
+tried to say that the destruction of her bonnet was of no consequence,
+but unaccustomed to falsehood, the words died away on her lips.</p>
+
+<p>The ladies now gathered round our heroine, who held in her hand the
+dripping wreck of the once elegant bonnet; and they gave it as their
+unanimous opinion, that nothing could possibly be done to restore it to
+any form that would make it wearable. Laura then tied her scarf over her
+head, and Aubrey Maitland thought she looked prettier than ever.</p>
+
+<p>Late in the evening, Mr. Brantley arrived from town in his chaise,
+bringing from the post-office a letter for Laura Lovel, from her little
+sisters, or rather two letters written on the same sheet. They ran
+thus:&mdash;</p>
+
+<blockquote><p class="right">"<span class="smcap">Rosebrook</span>, August 9th, 18&mdash;.</p>
+
+<p>"<span class="smcap">Dearest Sister</span>:&mdash;We hope you are having a great deal of pleasure
+in Boston. How many novels you must be reading&mdash;I wish I was grown
+up as you are&mdash;I am eight years old, and I have never yet read a
+novel. We miss you all the time. There is still a chair placed for
+you at table, and Rosa and I take turns in sitting next to it. But
+we can no longer hear your pleasant talk with our dear father. You
+know Rosa and I always listened so attentively that we frequently
+forgot to eat our dinners. I see advertised a large new book of
+Fairy Tales. How much you will have to tell us when you come home.
+Since you were so kind as to promise to bring me a book, I think,
+upon second thought, I would rather have the Tales of the Castle
+than Miss Edgeworth's Moral Tales.</p>
+
+<p>"Dear mother now has to make all the pies and puddings herself. We
+miss you every way. The Children's Friend must be a charming
+book&mdash;so must the Friend of Youth.</p>
+
+<p>"Yesterday we had a pair of fowls killed for dinner. Of course they
+were not Rosa's chickens, nor mine&mdash;they were only Billy and Bobby.
+But still, Rosa and I cried very much, as they were fowls that we
+were acquainted with. Dear father reasoned with us about it for a
+long time; but still, though the fowls were made into a pie, we
+could eat nothing but the crust. I think I should like very much to
+read the Robins, and also Keeper's Travels in Search of his Master.</p>
+
+<p>"I hope, dear Laura, you will be able to remember everything you
+have seen and heard in Boston, that you may have the more to tell
+us when you come home. I think, after all, there is no book I would
+prefer to the Arabian Nights&mdash;no doubt the Tales of the Genii are
+also excellent. Dear Laura, how I long to see you again. Paul and
+Virginia must be very delightful.</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i6">"Yours affectionately,<br /></span>
+<span class="i10">"<span class="smcap">Ella Lovel</span>."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+</blockquote>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<blockquote><p>"<span class="smcap">Dear Sister Laura</span>&mdash;I cried for a long time after you left us, but
+at last I wiped my eyes, and played with Ponto, and was happy. I
+have concluded not to want the canary-bird I asked you to get for
+me, as I think it best to be satisfied by hearing the birds sing on
+the trees, in the garden, and in the woods. Last night I heard a
+screech-owl&mdash;I would rather have a young fig-tree in a tub&mdash;or
+else, a great quantity of new flower-seeds. If you do not get
+either the fig-tree or the flower-seeds, I should like a blue cat,
+such as I have read of: you know those cats are not sky-blue, but
+only a bluish gray. If a blue cat is not to be had, I should be
+glad of a pair of white English rabbits; and yet, I think I would
+quite as willingly have a pair of doves. I never saw a real dove;
+but if doves are scarce, or cost too much, I shall be satisfied
+with a pair of fan-tailed pigeons, if they are quite white, and
+their tails fan very much. If you had a great deal of money to
+spare, I should like a kid or a fawn, but I know that is
+impossible; so I will not think of it. Perhaps, when I grow up, I
+may be a president's wife; if so, I will buy an elephant.</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i6">"Your affectionate sister,<br /></span>
+<span class="i10">"<span class="smcap">Rosa Lovel</span>."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>"I send kisses to all the people in Boston that love you."</p></blockquote>
+
+<p>How gladly would Laura, had it been in her power, have made every
+purchase mentioned in the letters of the two innocent little girls! And
+her heart swelled and her eyes overflowed, when she thought how happy
+she might have made them at a small part of the expense she had been
+persuaded to lavish on the finery that had given her so little pleasure,
+and that was now nearly all spoiled.</p>
+
+<p>Next day was Sunday; and they went to church and heard Mr. Taylor, the
+celebrated mariner clergyman, with whose deep pathos and simple good
+sense Laura was much interested, while she was at the same time amused
+with his originality and quaintness.</p>
+
+<p>On returning to the hotel, they found that the morning boat had arrived,
+and on looking up at the veranda, the first object Laura saw there was
+Pyam Dodge, standing stiffly with his hands on the railing.</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Lovel," said Augusta, "there's your friend, the schoolmaster."</p>
+
+<p>"Mercy upon us," screamed Miss Frampton, "has that horrid fellow come
+after you? Really, Miss Lovel, it was in very bad taste to invite him to
+Nahant."</p>
+
+<p>"I did not invite him," replied Laura, colouring; "I know not how he
+discovered that I was here."</p>
+
+<p>"The only way, then," said Miss Frampton, "is to cut him dead, and then
+perhaps he'll clear off."</p>
+
+<p>"Pho," said Augusta, "do you suppose he can understand cutting? why he
+won't know whether he's cut or not."</p>
+
+<p>"May I ask who this person is?" said Aubrey Maitland, in a low voice, to
+Laura. "Is there any stain or any suspicion attached to him?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! no, indeed," replied Laura, earnestly. And, in a few words, as they
+ascended the stairs, she gave him an outline of the schoolmaster and his
+character.</p>
+
+<p>"Then do not cut him at all," said Aubrey. "Let me take the liberty of
+suggesting to you how to receive him." They had now come out into the
+veranda, and Maitland immediately led Laura up to Pyam Dodge, who bowed
+profoundly on being introduced to him, and then turned to our heroine,
+asked permission to shake hands with her, hoped his company would be
+found agreeable, and signified that he had been unable to learn where
+she was from Mr. Brantley's servants; but that the evening before, a
+gentleman of Boston had told him that Mr. Brantley and all the family
+were at Nahant. Therefore, he had come thither to-day purposely to see
+her, and to inform her that the summer vacation having commenced, he was
+going to pay a visit to his old friends at Rosebrook, and would be very
+thankful if she would honour him with a letter or message to her family.</p>
+
+<p>All this was said with much bowing, and prosing, and apologizing. When
+it was finished, Maitland invited Pyam Dodge to take a turn round the
+veranda with Miss Lovel and himself, and the poor schoolmaster expressed
+the most profound gratitude. When they were going to dinner, Aubrey
+introduced him to Mrs. Maitland, placed him next to himself at table,
+and engaged him in a conversation on the Greek classics, in which Pyam
+Dodge, finding himself precisely in his element, forgot his humility,
+and being less embarrassed, was therefore less awkward and absurd than
+usual.</p>
+
+<p>Laura Lovel had thought Aubrey Maitland the handsomest and most elegant
+young man she had ever seen. She now thought him the most amiable.</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon, there was a mirage, in which the far-off rocks in the
+vicinity of Marblehead appeared almost in the immediate neighbourhood of
+Nahant, coming out in full relief, their forms and colours well-defined,
+and their height and breadth seemingly much increased. While all the
+company were assembled to look at this singular optical phenomenon
+(Aubrey Maitland being earnestly engaged in explaining it to our
+heroine), Miss Frampton whispered to Laura that she wished particularly
+to speak with her, and accordingly drew her away to another part of the
+veranda.</p>
+
+<p>Laura turned pale, for she had a presentiment of what was coming. Miss
+Frampton then told her, that presuming she had heard from home, she
+concluded that it would, of course, be convenient to return the trifle
+she had lent her; adding, that she wished to give a small commission to
+a lady that was going to town the next morning.</p>
+
+<p>Poor Laura knew not what to say. She changed colour, trembled with
+nervous agitation, and at last faltered out that, in consequence of
+knowing her father was from home, she had not yet written to him on the
+subject, but that she would do so immediately, and hoped Miss Frampton
+would not find it very inconvenient to wait a few days.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, really, I don't know how I can," replied Miss Frampton; "I want a
+shawl exactly like Mrs. Horton's. She tells me they are only to be had
+at one store in Boston, and that when she got hers the other day, there
+were only two left. They are really quite a new style, strange as it is
+to see anything in Boston that is not quite old-fashioned in
+Philadelphia. The money I lent you is precisely the sum for this
+purpose. Of course, I am in no want of a shawl&mdash;thank Heaven, I have
+more than I know what to do with&mdash;but, as I told you, these are quite a
+new style&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! how gladly would I pay you, if I could!" exclaimed Laura, covering
+her face with her hands. "What would I give at this moment for
+twenty-five dollars!"</p>
+
+<p>"I hope I am not inconvenient," said the voice of Pyam Dodge, close at
+Laura's back; "but I have been looking for Miss Laura Lovel, that I may
+take my leave, and return to town in the next boat."</p>
+
+<p>Miss Frampton tossed her head and walked away, to tell Mrs. Horton,
+confidentially, that Miss Lovel had borrowed twenty-five dollars of her
+to buy finery; but not to add that she had just been asking her for
+payment.</p>
+
+<p>"If I may venture to use such freedom," pursued Pyam Dodge, "I think,
+Miss Laura Lovel, I overheard you just now grieving that you could not
+pay some money. Now, my good child (if you will forgive me for calling
+you so), why should you be at any loss for money, when I have just
+received my quarter's salary, and when I have more about me than I know
+what to do with? I heard you mention twenty-five dollars&mdash;here it is
+(taking some notes out of an enormous pocket-book), and if you want any
+more, as I hope you do&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! no, indeed&mdash;no," interrupted Laura. "I cannot take it; I would not
+on any consideration."</p>
+
+<p>"I know too well," continued Pyam Dodge, "I am not worthy to offer it,
+and I hope I am not making myself disagreeable. But if, Miss Laura
+Lovel, you would only have the goodness to accept it, you may be sure I
+will never ask you for it as long as I live. I would even take a
+book-oath not to do so."</p>
+
+<p>Laura steadily refused the proffered kindness of the poor schoolmaster,
+and begged Pyam Dodge to mention the subject to her no more. She told
+him that all she now wished was to go home, and that she would write by
+him to her family, begging that her father would come for her (as he had
+promised at parting) and take her back to Rosebrook, as soon as he
+could. She quitted Pyam Dodge, who was evidently much mortified, and
+retired to write her letter, which she gave to him as soon as it was
+finished, finding him in the hall taking a ceremonious leave of the
+Maitlands. He departed, and Laura's spirits were gradually revived
+during the evening by the gratifying attentions and agreeable
+conversation of Mrs. Maitland and her son.</p>
+
+<p>When our heroine retired for the night, she found on her table a letter
+in a singularly uncouth hand, if hand it could be called, where every
+word was differently written. It enclosed two ten dollar notes and a
+five, and was conceived in the following words:</p>
+
+<p>"This is to inform Miss Laura, eldest daughter of the Reverend Edward
+Lovel, of Rosebrook, Massachusetts, that an unknown friend of hers,
+whose name it will be impossible for her to guess (and therefore to make
+the attempt will doubtless be entire loss of time, and time is always
+precious), having accidentally heard (though by what means is a profound
+secret) that she, at this present time, is in some little difficulty for
+want of a small sum of money, he, therefore, this unknown friend, offers
+to her acceptance the before-mentioned sum, hoping that she will find
+nothing disgusting in his using so great a liberty."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! poor Pyam Dodge!" exclaimed Laura, "why did you take the trouble to
+disguise and disfigure your excellent handwriting?" And she felt, after
+all, what a relief it was to transfer her debt from Miss Frampton to the
+good schoolmaster. Reluctant to have any further personal discussion on
+this painful subject, she enclosed the notes in a short billet to Miss
+Frampton, and sent it immediately to that lady's apartment. She then
+went to bed, comparatively happy, slept soundly, and dreamed of Aubrey
+Maitland.</p>
+
+<p>About the end of the week, Laura Lovel was delighted to see her father
+arrive with Mr. Brantley. As soon as they were alone, she threw herself
+into his arms, and with a flood of tears explained to him the
+particulars of all that passed since she left home, and deeply lamented
+that she had allowed herself to be drawn into expenses beyond her means
+of defraying, and which her father could ill afford to supply, to say
+nothing of the pain and mortification they had occasioned to herself.</p>
+
+<p>"My beloved child," said Mr. Lovel, "I have been much to blame for
+intrusting you at an age so early and inexperienced, and with no
+knowledge of a town-life and its habits, to the guidance and example of
+a family of whom I knew nothing, except that they were reputable and
+opulent."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Lovel then gave his daughter the agreeable intelligence that the
+tract of land which was the object of his visit to Maine, and which had
+been left him in his youth by an old aunt, and was then considered of
+little or no account, had greatly increased in value by a new and
+flourishing town having sprung up in its immediate vicinity. This tract
+he had recently been able to sell for ten thousand dollars, and the
+interest of that sum would now make a most acceptable addition to his
+little income.</p>
+
+<p>He also informed her that Pyam Dodge was then at the village of
+Rosebrook, where he was "visiting round," as he called it, and that the
+good schoolmaster had faithfully kept the secret of the twenty-five
+dollars which he had pressed upon Laura, and which Mr. Lovel had now
+heard, for the first time, from herself.</p>
+
+<p>While this conversation was going on between the father and daughter,
+Mrs. Maitland and her son were engaged in discussing the beauty and the
+apparent merits of our heroine. "I should like extremely," said Mrs.
+Maitland, "to invite Miss Lovel to pass the winter with me. But, you
+know, we live much in the world, and I fear the limited state of her
+father's finances could not allow her to appear as she would wish. Yet,
+perhaps, I might manage to assist her in that respect, without wounding
+her delicacy. I think with regret of so fair a flower being 'born to
+blush unseen, and waste its sweetness on the desert air.'"</p>
+
+<p>"There is one way," said Aubrey Maitland, smiling and colouring, "by
+which we might have Miss Lovel to spend next winter in Boston, without
+any danger of offending her delicacy, or subjecting her to embarrassment
+on account of her personal expenses&mdash;a way which would enable her to
+appear as she deserves, and to move in a sphere that she is so well
+calculated to adorn, though not as <i>Miss Lovel</i>."</p>
+
+<p>"I cannot but understand you, Aubrey," replied Mrs. Maitland, who had
+always been not only the mother, but the sympathizing and confidential
+friend of her son&mdash;"yet be not too precipitate. Know more of this young
+lady, before you go so far that you cannot in honour recede."</p>
+
+<p>"I know her sufficiently," said Aubrey, with animation. "She is to be
+understood at once, and though I flatter myself that I may have already
+excited some interest in her heart, yet I have no reason to suppose
+that she entertains for me such feelings as would induce her at this
+time to accept my offer. She is extremely anxious to get home; she may
+have left a lover there. But let me be once assured that her affections
+are disengaged, and that she is really inclined to bestow them on me,
+and a declaration shall immediately follow the discovery. A man who,
+after being convinced of the regard of the woman he loves, can trifle
+with her feelings, and hesitate about securing her hand, does not
+deserve to obtain her."</p>
+
+<p>Laura had few preparations to make for her departure, which took place
+the next morning, Aubrey Maitland and Mr. Brantley accompanying her and
+her father to town, in the early boat. Mrs. Maitland took leave of her
+affectionately, Mrs. Brantley smilingly, Augusta coldly, and Miss
+Frampton not at all.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Lovel and his daughter passed that day in Boston, staying at a
+hotel. Laura showed her father the children's letter. All the books that
+Ella mentioned were purchased for her, and quite a little menagerie of
+animals was procured for Rosa.</p>
+
+<p>They arrived safely at Rosebrook. And when Mr. Lovel was invoking a
+blessing on their evening repast, he referred to the return of his
+daughter, and to his happiness on seeing her once more in her accustomed
+seat at table, in a manner that drew tears into the eyes of every member
+of the family.</p>
+
+<p>Pyam Dodge was there, only waiting for Laura's arrival, to set out next
+morning on a visit to his relations in Vermont. With his usual want of
+tact, and his usual kindness of heart, he made so many objections to
+receiving the money with which he had accommodated our heroine, that Mr.
+Lovel was obliged to slip it privately into his trunk before his
+departure.</p>
+
+<p>In a few days, Aubrey Maitland came to Rosebrook and established himself
+at the principal inn, from whence he visited Laura the evening of his
+arrival. Next day he came both morning and evening. On the third day he
+paid her three visits, and after that it was not worth while to count
+them.</p>
+
+<p>The marriage of Aubrey and Laura took place at the close of the autumn,
+and they immediately went into the possession of an elegant residence of
+their own, adjoining the mansion of the elder Mrs. Maitland. They are
+now living in as much happiness as can fall to the lot of human beings.</p>
+
+<p>Before the Nahant season was over, Miss Frampton had quarrelled with or
+offended nearly every lady at the hotel, and Mr. Brantley privately
+insisted that his wife should not invite her to pass the winter with
+them. However, she protracted her stay as long as she possibly could,
+with any appearance of decency, and then returned to Philadelphia, under
+the escort of one of Mr. Brantley's clerks. After she came home, her
+visit to Boston afforded her a new subject of conversation, in which the
+predominant features were general ridicule of the Yankees (as she called
+them), circumstantial slanders of the family to whose hospitality she
+had been indebted for more than three months, and particular abuse of
+"that little wretch Augusta."</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="JOHN_W_ROBERTSON" id="JOHN_W_ROBERTSON"></a>JOHN W. ROBERTSON.</h2>
+
+<h3>A TALE OF A CENT.</h3>
+
+<blockquote><p>"Some there be that shadows kiss."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>Selina Mansel was only sixteen when she took charge of her father's
+house, and he delegated to her the arduous task of doing as she pleased:
+provided always that she duly attended to his chief injunction, never to
+allow herself to incur a debt, however trifling, and to purchase nothing
+that she could not pay for on the spot. To the observance of this rule,
+which he had laid down for himself in early life, Mr. Mansel attributed
+all his success in business, and his ability to retire at the age of
+fifty with a handsome competence.</p>
+
+<p>Since the death of his wife, Mr. Mansel's sister had presided over his
+family, and had taken much interest in instructing Selina in what she
+justly termed the most useful part of a woman's education. Such was Miss
+Eleanor Mansel's devotion to her brother and his daughter, that she had
+hesitated for twelve years about returning an intelligible answer to the
+love-letters which she received quarterly from Mr. Waitstill Wonderly, a
+gentleman whose dwelling-place was in the far, far east. Every two years
+this paragon of patience came in person: his home being at a distance of
+several hundred miles, and his habits by no means so itinerant as those
+of the generality of his countrymen.</p>
+
+<p>On his sixth avatar, Miss Mansel consented to reward with her hand the
+constancy of her inamorato; as Selina had, within the last twelvemonth,
+made up two pieces of linen for her father, prepared the annual quantity
+of pickles and preserves, and superintended two house-cleanings, all
+herself&mdash;thus giving proof positive that she was fully competent to
+succeed her aunt Eleanor as mistress of the establishment.</p>
+
+<p>Selina Mansel was a very good and a very pretty girl. Though living in a
+large and flourishing provincial town, which we shall denominate
+Somerford, she had been brought up in comparative retirement, and had
+scarcely yet begun to go into company, as it is called. Her
+understanding was naturally excellent; but she was timid, sensitive,
+easily disconcerted, and likely to appear to considerable disadvantage
+in any situation that was the least embarrassing.</p>
+
+<p>About two months after the departure of Mr. and Mrs. Wonderly, the whole
+borough of Somerford was thrown into commotion by the unexpected arrival
+of an old townsman, who had made his fortune in New Orleans. This person
+was called in his youth Jack Robinson. After twenty years of successful
+adventure, he now returned as John W. Robertson, Esq., and concluded to
+astonish for a while the natives of his own birth-place, and perhaps
+pass the summer among them. Therefore, he took two of the best
+apartments in the chief hotel; and having grown very tired of old
+bachelorship, and entertaining a great predilection for all the
+productions of his native town, he determined to select a wife from
+among the belles of Somerford.</p>
+
+<p>Now Mr. Robertson was a man in whose face and figure the most amiable
+portrait-painter could have found nothing to commend. He was not what is
+called a fine-looking man, for though sufficiently tall, he was gaunt
+and ill-proportioned. He was not a handsome man, for every feature was
+ugly; and his complexion, as well as his hair, was all of one
+ash-colour; though his eyes were much lighter than his skin. He was
+fully aware of his deficiency in beauty; but it was some consolation to
+him that he had been a very pretty baby, as he frequently took occasion
+to mention. With all this, he was extremely ambitious of marrying a
+beautiful woman, and resolutely determined that she should "love him for
+himself alone." Though in the habit of talking ostentatiously of his
+wealth, yet he sometimes considered this wealth as a sort of thorn in
+his path to matrimony; for he could not avoid the intrusion of a very
+uncomfortable surmise, that were he still poor Jack Robinson, he would
+undoubtedly be "cut dead" by the same ladies who were now assiduously
+angling for a word or a look from John W. Robertson, Esq. It is true
+that, being habitually cautious, he proceeded warily, and dispensed his
+notice to the ladies with much economy, finding that, in the words of
+charity advertisements, "the smallest donations were thankfully
+received."</p>
+
+<p>Having once read a novel, and it being one in which the heroine blushes
+all through the book, he concluded that confusion and suffusion were
+infallible signs of love, and that whenever the bloom on a lady's cheeks
+deepens at the sight of a gentleman, there can be no doubt of the
+sincerity and disinterestedness of her regard, and that she certainly
+loves him for himself alone. Adopting this theory, Mr. Robertson
+determined not to owe his success to any adventitious circumstances; and
+he accordingly disdained that attention to his toilet usually observed
+by gentlemen in the C&oelig;lebs line. Therefore, as the season was summer,
+he walked about all the morning in a long loose gown of broad-striped
+gingham, buckskin shoes, and an enormous Leghorn hat, the brim turned up
+behind and down before. In the afternoon, his flying joseph was
+exchanged for a round jacket of sea-grass: and in the evening he
+generally appeared in a seersucker coat. But he was invited everywhere.</p>
+
+<p>The mothers flattered him, and the daughters smiled on him, yet still he
+saw no blushes. He looked in vain for the "sweet confusion, rosy
+terror," which he supposed to be always evinced by a young lady in the
+presence of the man of her heart. The young ladies that <i>he</i> met with,
+had all their wits about them; and if on seeing him they covered their
+faces, it was only to giggle behind their fans. Instead of shrinking
+modestly back at his approach, they followed him everywhere; and he has
+more than once been seen perambulating the main street of Somerford at
+the head of half a dozen young ladies, like a locomotive engine drawing
+a train of cars.</p>
+
+<p>With the exception of two professed novel-readers who treated our hero
+with ill-concealed contempt, because they could find in him no
+resemblance to Lord St. Orville or to Thaddeus of Warsaw, Selina Mansel
+was almost the only lady in Somerford that took Mr. Robertson quietly.
+The truth was, she never thought of him at all: and it was this evident
+indifference, so strikingly contrasted with the unremitting solicitude
+of her companions, that first attracted his attention towards Selina,
+rather than her superiority in beauty or accomplishments; for Miss
+Madderlake had redder cheeks, Miss Tightscrew a smaller waist, Miss
+Deathscream sung louder, and Miss Twirlfoot danced higher.</p>
+
+<p>Selina Mansel was the youngest of the Somerford belles, and had scarcely
+yet come out. It never entered her mind that a man of Mr. Robertson's
+age could think of marrying a girl of sixteen. How little she knew of
+old bachelors!</p>
+
+<p>Having always heard herself termed "the child," by her father and her
+aunt, she still retained the habit of considering herself as such; and
+strange to tell, the idea of a lover had not yet found its way into her
+head or her heart. Accordingly, on meeting Mr. Robertson for the first
+time (it was at a small party), she thought she passed the evening
+pleasantly enough in sitting between two matrons, and hearing from them
+the praises of her aunt Wonderly's notability&mdash;accompanied by numerous
+suggestions of improvements in confectionery, and in the management of
+servants; these hints being kindly intended for her benefit as a young
+housekeeper.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Robertson, who proceeded cautiously in everything, after gazing at
+Selina across the room, satisfied himself that she was very handsome and
+very unaffected, and requested an introduction to her from the gentleman
+of the house, adding&mdash;"But not just now&mdash;any time in the course of the
+evening. You know, when ladies are in question, it is very impolitic in
+gentlemen to show too much eagerness."</p>
+
+<p>The introduction eventually took place, and Mr. Robertson talked of the
+weather, then of the westerly winds, which he informed Selina were
+favourable to vessels going out to Europe, but dead ahead to those that
+were coming home. He then commenced a long story about the very
+profitable voyage of one of his ships, but told it in language
+unintelligible to any but a merchant.</p>
+
+<p>Selina grew very tired, and having tried to listen quite as long as she
+thought due to civility, she renewed her conversation with one of the
+ladies that sat beside her, and Mr. Robertson, in some vexation, turned
+away and carried his dullness to the other end of the room, where pretty
+Miss Holdhimfast sat, the image of delighted attention, her eyes smiling
+with pleasure, and her lips parted in intense interest, while he talked
+to her of assorted cargoes, bills of lading, and customhouse bonds. At
+times, he looked round, over his shoulder, to see if Selina evinced any
+discomposure at his quitting her&mdash;but he perceived no signs of it.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Mansel having renewed his acquaintance with Mr. Robertson, our hero
+called next morning to pay a visit to the father of Selina, though his
+chief motive was the expectation of seeing the young lady, who since the
+preceding evening had occupied as much of his mind and thoughts as a
+thorough-going business man ever devotes to a woman.</p>
+
+<p>Selina was in the parlour, and sat quietly at her sewing, not perceiving
+that, though Mr. Robertson talked to her father all the time about the
+Bank of the United States, he looked almost continually at her. On
+hearing the clock strike, she rose, put up her work, and repaired to her
+own room&mdash;recollecting that it was her day for writing to Mrs. Wonderly,
+and that the mail would close in two hours, which Selina had always
+found the shortest possible time for filling a large sheet of paper
+closely written&mdash;such being the missive that she despatched every week
+to her beloved aunt.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Robertson, after prolonging his visit to an unreasonable period,
+departed in no very good humour at Selina's not returning to the
+parlour: for though he saw through the designs of the other ladies, he
+was somewhat piqued that our young and handsome heroine should have no
+design at all.</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon Selina went out on a shopping expedition. Mr. Robertson
+happened to overtake her, and she looked so very pretty, and tripped
+along so lightly and gracefully, that he could not refrain from joining
+her, instead of making his bow and passing on, as had been his first
+intention.</p>
+
+<p>In the course of conversation, Selina was informed by Mr. Robertson
+(who, though no longer in business, still made the price-current his
+daily study) that, by the last advices from New York, tallow was calm,
+and hides were drooping&mdash;that pots were lively, and that pearls were
+looking up; and that there was a better feeling towards mackerel.</p>
+
+<p>He accompanied Selina to the principal fancy-store, and when the young
+lady had completed her purchases, and had been persuaded by Mr.
+Stretchlace to take several additional articles, she found, on examining
+her purse, that she had nearly exhausted its contents, and that even
+with putting all her small change together, she still wanted one cent.
+Mr. Stretchlace assured her that he considered a cent as of no
+consequence; but Selina, who had been brought up in the strictest ideas
+of integrity, replied that, as she had agreed to pay as much for the
+article as he had asked her, she could not allow him to lose a single
+farthing. Mr. Stretchlace smiled, and reminded her that she could easily
+stop in and give him the cent, at any time when she happened to be
+passing his store. Selina, recollecting her father's rule of never going
+in debt to a shopkeeper, even to the most trifling amount, proposed
+leaving a pair of gloves (her last purchase) till she came again. Mr.
+Robertson, to put an end to the difficulty, took a cent from his purse,
+and requested permission to lend it to Miss Mansel. Selina coloured, but
+after some hesitation accepted the loan, resolving to repay it
+immediately. Having this intention on her mind, she was rather glad when
+she found that Mr. Robertson intended walking home with her, as it would
+give her an opportunity of liquidating the debt&mdash;and he entertained her
+on the way with the history of a transaction in uplands, and another in
+sea-islands.</p>
+
+<p>They arrived at Mr. Mansel's door, and her companion was taking his
+leave, when Selina, thinking only of the cent, asked him if he would not
+come in. Of course, she had no motive but to induce him to wait till she
+had procured the little coin in question. He found the invitation too
+flattering to be resisted, and smirkingly followed her into the front
+parlour. Selina was disappointed at not finding her father there.
+Desiring Mr. Robertson to excuse her for a moment, she went to her own
+room in quest of some change&mdash;but found nothing less than a five dollar
+note.</p>
+
+<p>A young lady of more experience and more self-possession, would, at
+once, have thought of extricating herself from the dilemma by applying
+to one of the servants for the loan of a cent; but at this time no such
+idea entered Selina's head. Therefore, calling Ovid, her black man, she
+despatched him with the note to get changed, and then returned herself
+to the parlour.</p>
+
+<p>Taking her seat near the centre-table, Selina endeavoured to engage her
+guest in conversation, lest he should go away without his money. But,
+too little accustomed to the world and its contingencies to feel at all
+at her ease on this occasion, not having courage to mention the cent,
+and afraid every moment that Mr. Robertson would rise to take his leave,
+she became more and more embarrassed, sat uneasily on her chair, kept
+her eyes on the floor, except when she stole glances at her visiter to
+see if he showed any symptoms of departure, and looked frequently
+towards the door, hoping the arrival of Ovid.</p>
+
+<p>Unconscious of what she was doing, our heroine took a camellia japonica
+from a vase that stood on the table, and having smelled it a dozen
+times (though it is a flower that has no perfume) she began to pick it
+to pieces. Mr. Robertson stopped frequently in the midst of a long story
+about a speculation in sperm oil, his attention being continually
+engaged by the evident perturbation of the young lady. But when he saw
+her picking to pieces the camellia which she had pressed to her nose and
+to her lips, he was taken with a sudden access of gallantry, and
+stalking up to her, and awkwardly stretching out his hand at arm's
+length, he said, in a voice intended to be very sweet&mdash;"Miss Mansel,
+will you favour me with that flower?"</p>
+
+<p>Selina, not thinking of what she did, hastily dropped the camellia into
+his out-spread palm, and ran to meet her servant Ovid, whom she saw at
+that moment coming into the house. She stopped him in the hall, and
+eagerly held out her hand, while Ovid slowly and carefully counted into
+it, one by one, ten half dollars, telling her that he had been nearly
+all over town with the note, as "change is always <i>scace</i> of an
+afternoon."</p>
+
+<p>"How vexatious!" said Selina, in a low voice&mdash;"You have brought me no
+cents. It was particularly a cent that I wanted&mdash;a cent above all
+things. Did I not tell you so?&mdash;I am sure I thought I did."</p>
+
+<p>Ovid persisted in declaring that she had merely desired him to get the
+note changed, and that he thought "nobody needn't wish for better change
+than all big silver,"&mdash;but feeling in his pocket, he said "he believed,
+if Miss Selina would let him, he could lend her a cent." However, after
+searching all his pockets, he found only a quarter of a dollar. "But,"
+added he, "I can go in the kitchen and ax if the women hav'n't got no
+coppers. Ah! Miss Selina&mdash;your departed aunt always kept her pocket
+full."</p>
+
+<p>Selina then desired him to go immediately and inquire for a cent among
+the women. She then returned to the parlour, and Mr. Robertson, having
+nothing more to say, rose to take his leave. During her absence from the
+room, he had torn off the back of a letter, folded in it the
+half-demolished camellia japonica, and deposited it in his waistcoat
+pocket.</p>
+
+<p>Selina begged him to stay a few minutes longer, and she went into the
+kitchen to inquire in person about the cent.</p>
+
+<p>"Apparently," thought Robertson, "she finds it hard to part with me. And
+certainly she <i>has</i> seemed confused and agitated, during the whole of my
+visit."</p>
+
+<p>On making her inquiry among the denizens of the kitchen, Selina found
+that none of the women had any probable coppers, excepting Violet, the
+black cook, who was fat and lame, and who intended, as soon as she had
+done making some cakes for tea, to ascend to her attic, and search for
+one among her hoards.</p>
+
+<p>"La! Miss Selina," said Violet, "what can put you in such a pheeze about
+a cent?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have borrowed a cent of Mr. Robertson," replied Selina, "and I wish
+to return it immediately."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, now, if ever!" exclaimed Violet; "why, if that's all, I count it
+the same as nothing, and samer. To be sure he is too much of a gentleman
+to take a cent from a lady. Why, what's a cent?"</p>
+
+<p>"I hope," replied Selina, "that he is too much of a gentleman to
+<i>refuse</i> to take it."</p>
+
+<p>"I lay you what you please," resumed Violet, "that if you go to offer
+him that cent, you'll 'front him out of the house. Why, when any of us
+borrows a copper of Ovid, we never thinks of paying him."</p>
+
+<p>"True enough," said Ovid, half aside; "and that's the reason I most
+always take care never to have no coppers about me."</p>
+
+<p>Selina now heard her father's voice in the parlour; and glad that he had
+come home, she hastened to obtain from him the much-desired coin. She
+found him earnestly engaged in discussing the Bank of the United States
+to Mr. Robertson, who was on the verge of departure. She went softly
+behind her father, and in a low voice asked him for a cent; but he was
+talking so busily that he did not hear her. She repeated the request.
+"Presently&mdash;presently," said Mr. Mansel, "another time will do as well."
+Mr. Robertson then made his parting bow to Selina, who, disconcerted at
+being baffled in all her attempts to get rid of her little debt,
+coloured excessively, and could not make an articulate reply to his
+"Good afternoon, Miss Mansel."</p>
+
+<p>When her father returned from escorting his guest to the door, he
+recollected her request, and said&mdash;"What were you asking me, Selina? I
+think I heard you say something about money. But never interrupt me when
+I am talking of the bank."</p>
+
+<p>Selina then made her explanation.</p>
+
+<p>"You know," replied Mr. Mansel, "that I have always told you to avoid a
+debt as you would a sin; and I have also cautioned you never to allow
+yourself to be without all the varieties of small change."</p>
+
+<p>He then gave her a handful of this convenient article, including half a
+dozen cents, saying, "There, now, do not forget to pay Mr. Robertson the
+first time you see him."</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly, I will not forget it," replied Selina; "for, trifle as it
+is, I shall not feel at peace while it remains on my mind."</p>
+
+<p>On the following afternoon Selina went out with her father to take a
+ride on horseback; and when they returned they found on the centre table
+the card of John W. Robertson. "Another <i>contre-tems</i>," cried Selina.
+"He has been here again, and I have not seen him to pay him the cent!"</p>
+
+<p>"Send it to him by Ovid," said Mr. Mansel.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Send</i> such a trifle to a gentleman!" exclaimed Selina.</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly," replied her father. "Even in the smallest trifles, it is
+best to be correct and punctual. You know I have always told you so."</p>
+
+<p>Selina left the room for the purpose of despatching Ovid with the cent,
+but Ovid had gone out on some affairs of his own, and when she returned
+to the parlour she found two young ladies there, whose visit was not
+over till nearly dusk. By that time Ovid was engaged in setting the
+tea-table; a business from which nothing could ever withdraw him till
+all its details were slowly and minutely accomplished.</p>
+
+<p>"It will be time enough after tea," said Selina, who, like most young
+housekeepers, was somewhat in awe of her servants. When tea was over
+both in parlour and kitchen (and by the members of the lower house that
+business was never accomplished without a long session), Ovid was
+despatched to the hotel with "Miss Mansel's compliments to Mr.
+Robertson, and the cent that she had borrowed of him." It was long
+before Ovid came back, and he then brought word that Mr. Robertson was
+out, but that he had left the cent with Mr. Muddler, the barkeeper.</p>
+
+<p>"Of course," said Selina, "the barkeeper will give it to Mr. Robertson
+as soon as he returns."</p>
+
+<p>"I have my doubts," replied Ovid.</p>
+
+<p>"Why?" asked Selina; "why should you suppose otherwise?"</p>
+
+<p>"Because," answered Ovid, "Mr. Muddler is a very doubty sort of man.
+That is, he's always to be doubted of. I lived at the hotel once, and I
+know all about him. He don't mind trifles, and he never remembers
+nothing. I guess Mr. Robertson won't be apt to get the cent: for afore I
+left the bar, I saw Muddler give it away in change to a man that came
+for a glass of punch. And I'm sure that Muddler won't never think no
+more about it. I could be as good as qualified that he won't."</p>
+
+<p>"How very provoking!" cried Selina.</p>
+
+<p>"You should have sealed it up in a piece of paper, and directed it to
+Mr. Robertson," said her father, raising his eyes from the newspaper in
+which he had been absorbed for the last hour. "Whatever is to be done at
+all, should always be done thoroughly."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, miss," said Ovid, "you know that's what your departed aunt always
+told you: partikaly when you were stoning reasons for plum-cake."</p>
+
+<p>Selina was now at a complete loss what course to pursue. The cent was in
+itself a trifle; but there had been so much difficulty about it, that it
+seemed to have swelled into an object of importance: and from this time
+her repugnance to speaking of it to Mr. Robertson, or to any one else,
+became almost insurmountable.</p>
+
+<p>On the following morning, her father told her that he had met Mr.
+Robertson at the Post Office, and had been told by him that he should do
+himself the pleasure of making a morning call. "Therefore, Selina, I
+shall leave you to entertain him," said Mr. Mansel, "for I have made an
+appointment with Mr. Thinwall this morning, to go with him to look at a
+block of houses he is anxious to sell me."</p>
+
+<p>Selina repaired to her room to get her sewing: and taking a cent from
+her purse, she laid it in her work-basket and went down stairs to be
+ready for the visit of Mr. Robertson. While waiting for him, she
+happened to look at the cent, and perceived that it was one of the very
+earliest coinage, the date being 1793. She had heard these cents
+described, but had never before seen one. The head of Liberty was
+characterized by the lawless freedom of her hair, the flakes of which
+were all flying wildly back from her forehead and cheek, and seemed to
+be blowing away in a strong north-wester; and she carried over her
+shoulder a staff surmounted with a cap. On the reverse, there was
+(instead of the olive wreath) a circular chain, whose links signified
+the union of the States. Our heroine was making a collection of curious
+coins, and she was so strongly tempted by the opportunity of adding this
+to the number, that she determined on keeping it for that purpose. She
+was just rising to go up stairs and get another as a substitute, when
+Mr. Robertson entered the parlour.</p>
+
+<p>Selina was glad to see him, hoping that this visit would make a final
+settlement of the eternal cent. But she was also struck with the idea
+that it would be very awkward to ask him if the barkeeper had given him
+the one she had transmitted to him the evening before. She feared that
+the gentleman might reply in the affirmative, even if he had not really
+received it, and she felt a persuasion that it had entirely escaped the
+memory of Mr. Muddler. Not having sufficient self-possession to help her
+out of the difficulty, she hastily slipped the old cent back into her
+work-basket, and looked confused and foolish, and answered incoherently
+to Mr. Robertson's salutation. He saw her embarrassment, and augured
+favourably from it: but he cautiously determined not to allow himself to
+proceed too rapidly.</p>
+
+<p>He commenced the conversation by informing her that sugars had declined
+a shade, but that coffee was active, and cotton firm; and he then prosed
+off into a long mercantile story, of which Selina heard and understood
+nothing: her ideas, when in presence of Mr. Robertson, being now unable
+to take any other form than that of a piece of copper.</p>
+
+<p>Longing to go for another cent, and regretting that she had not brought
+down her purse, she sat uneasy and disconcerted: the delighted Robertson
+pausing in the midst of his tierces of rice, seroons of indigo, carboys
+of tar, and quintals of codfish, to look at the heightened colour of her
+cheek, and to give it the interpretation he most desired.</p>
+
+<p>Selina had never thought him so tiresome. Just then came in Miss
+Peepabout and Miss Doublesight, who, having seen Mr. Robertson through
+the window, had a curiosity to ascertain what he was saying and doing at
+Mr. Mansel's. These two ladies were our hero's peculiar aversion, as
+they had both presumed to lay siege to him, notwithstanding that they
+were neither young nor handsome. Therefore, he rose immediately and took
+his leave: though Selina, in the hope of still finding an opportunity to
+discharge her debt, said to him, anxiously: "Do not go yet, Mr.
+Robertson." This request nearly elevated the lover to paradise, but not
+wishing to spoil her by too much compliance, he persevered in departing.</p>
+
+<p>That evening Selina met him at a party given by Mrs. Vincent, one of the
+leading ladies of Somerford. Thinking of this possibility, and the idea
+of Mr. Robertson and a cent having now become synonymous, our heroine
+tied a bright new one in the corner of her pocket-handkerchief,
+determined to go fully prepared for an opportunity of presenting it to
+him. When, on arriving at Mrs. Vincent's house, she was shown to the
+ladies' room, Selina discovered that the cent had vanished, having
+slipped out from its fastening; and after an ineffectual search on the
+floor and on the staircase, she concluded that she must have dropped it
+in the street. The night was very fine, and Mrs. Vincent's residence was
+so near her father's, that Selina had walked thither, and Mr. Mansel
+(who had no relish for parties), after conducting her into the principal
+room, and paying his compliments to the hostess, had slipped off, and
+returned home to seek a quiet game of backgammon with his next-door
+neighbour, telling his daughter that he would come for her at eleven
+o'clock.</p>
+
+<p>Our heroine was dressed with much taste, and looked unusually well. Mr.
+Robertson's inclination would have led him to attach himself to Selina
+for the whole evening; but convinced of the depth and sincerity of her
+regard (as he perceived that she now never saw him without blushing), he
+deemed it politic to hold back, and not allow himself to be considered
+too cheap a conquest. Therefore, after making his bow, and informing her
+that soap was heavy, but that raisins were animated, and that there was
+a good feeling towards Havana cigars, he withdrew to the opposite side
+of the room.</p>
+
+<p>But though he divided his tediousness pretty equally among the other
+ladies, he could not prevent his eyes from wandering almost incessantly
+towards Selina, particularly when he perceived a remarkably handsome
+young man, Henry Wynslade, engaged in a very lively conversation with
+her. Mr. Wynslade, who had recently returned from India, lodged, for the
+present, at the hotel in which Robertson had located himself;
+consequently, our hero had some acquaintance with him.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Vincent having taken away Wynslade to introduce him to her niece,
+Mr. Robertson immediately strode across the room, and presented himself
+in front of Selina. To do him justice, he had entirely forgotten the
+cent: and he meant not the most distant allusion to it, when, at the end
+of a long narrative about a very close and fortunate bargain he had once
+made in rough turpentine, he introduced the well-known adages of "a
+penny saved is a penny got," and "take care of the pence and the pounds
+will take care of themselves."</p>
+
+<p>"Pence and cents are nearly the same," thought the conscious Selina. She
+had on her plate some of the little printed rhymes that, being
+accompanied by bonbons, and enveloped in coloured paper, go under the
+denomination of secrets or mottoes. These delectable distichs were most
+probably the leisure effusions of the poet kept by Mr. and Mrs.
+Packwood, of razor-strop celebrity, and from their ludicrous silliness
+frequently cause much diversion among the younger part of the company.</p>
+
+<p>In her confusion on hearing Mr. Robertson talk of pence, Selina began to
+distribute her mottoes among the ladies in her vicinity, and, without
+looking at it, she unthinkingly presented one to her admirer, as he
+stood stiff before her. A moment after he was led away by Mr. Vincent,
+to be introduced to a stranger: and in a short time the company
+adjourned to the supper-room.</p>
+
+<p>The ladies were all seated, and the gentlemen were standing round, and
+Selina was not aware of her proximity to Mr. Robertson till she
+overheard him say to young Wynslade&mdash;"A most extraordinary circumstance
+has happened to me this evening."</p>
+
+<p>"What is it?" cried Wynslade.</p>
+
+<p>"I have received a declaration."</p>
+
+<p>"A declaration! Of what?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have indeed," pursued Robertson, "a declaration of love. To be sure,
+I have been somewhat prepared for it. When a lady blushes, and shows
+evident signs of confusion, whenever she meets a gentleman, there is
+good reason to believe that her heart is really touched. Is there not?"</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose so," said Wynslade, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>"You conclude then that the lady must love him for himself, and not for
+his property?" inquired Robertson.</p>
+
+<p>"Ladies who are influenced only by mercenary considerations," replied
+Wynslade, "seldom feel much embarrassment in the presence of any
+gentleman."</p>
+
+<p>"There is no forcing a blush&mdash;is there?" asked Robertson.</p>
+
+<p>"I should think not," answered Wynslade, wondering to what all this
+would tend.</p>
+
+<p>"To tell you a secret," resumed Robertson, "I have proof positive that I
+have made a serious impression on a very beautiful young lady. You need
+not smile, Mr. Wynslade, for I can show you something that was presented
+to me the other day by herself, after first pressing it repeatedly to
+her lips."</p>
+
+<p>He then took out of his waistcoat pocket the paper that contained the
+remnant of the camellia japonica, adding, "I can assure you that this
+flower was given me by the prettiest girl in the room."</p>
+
+<p>The eyes of Wynslade were involuntarily directed to Selina.</p>
+
+<p>"You are right," resumed Robertson. "That is the very lady, Miss Selina
+Mansel."</p>
+
+<p>"Can it be possible!" exclaimed Wynslade. "Is this the lady that blushes
+at you? Did <i>she</i> give you the flower?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, she did," replied Robertson. "A true bill, I assure you. The
+flower was her gift, and she has just presented me with a piece of
+poetry that is still more pointed. And yet, between ourselves, I think
+it strange that so young a lady should not have had patience to wait for
+a declaration on my part. I wonder that she should be the first to break
+the ice. However, I suppose it is only a stronger evidence of her
+partiality."</p>
+
+<p>"And what are you going to do?" asked Wynslade.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! I shall take her," answered Robertson. "At least I think I shall.
+To be sure, I have been so short a time in Somerford, that I have
+scarcely yet had an opportunity of ascertaining the state of the market.
+But, besides her being an only child, with a father that is likely to
+come down handsomely, she is very young and very pretty, and will in
+every respect suit me exactly. However, I shall proceed with due
+circumspection. It is bad policy to be too alert on these occasions. It
+will be most prudent to keep her in suspense awhile."</p>
+
+<p>"Insufferable coxcomb!" thought Wynslade. However, he checked his
+contempt and indignation so far as to say with tolerable calmness&mdash;"Mr.
+Robertson, there must be certainly some mistake. Before I went to India,
+I knew something of Miss Mansel and her family, and I reproach myself
+for not having sought to renew my acquaintance with them immediately on
+my return. She was a mere child when I last saw her before my departure.
+Still, I know from the manner in which she has been brought up, that it
+is utterly impossible she should have given you any real cause to
+suspect her of a partiality, which, after all, you seem incapable of
+appreciating."</p>
+
+<p>"Suspect!" exclaimed Robertson, warmly; "suspect, indeed! Blushes and
+confusion you acknowledge to be certain signs. And then there is the
+flower&mdash;and then&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Where is the piece of poetry you talked of?" said Wynslade.</p>
+
+<p>"Here," replied Robertson, showing him the motto&mdash;"here it is&mdash;read&mdash;and
+confess it to be proof positive."</p>
+
+<p>Wynslade took the slip, and read on it&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"To gain a look of your sweet face,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I'd walk three times round the market-place."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>"Ridiculous!" he exclaimed, as he returned the couplet to Robertson, the
+course of his ideas changing in a moment. The whole affair now appeared
+to him in so ludicrous a light that he erroneously imagined Selina to
+have been all the time diverting herself at Mr. Robertson's expense. He
+looked towards her with a smile of intelligence, and was surprised to
+find that she had set down her almost untasted ice-cream, and was
+changing colour, from red to pale, evidently overwhelmed with confusion.</p>
+
+<p>"There," said Robertson, looking significantly from Selina to Wynslade,
+"I told you so&mdash;only see her cheeks. No doubt she has overheard all we
+have been saying."</p>
+
+<p>Selina had, indeed, overheard the whole; for notwithstanding the talking
+of the ladies who were near her, her attention had been the whole time
+riveted to the conversation that was going on between Robertson and
+Wynslade. Her first impulse was to quit her seat, to go at once to
+Robertson, and to explain to him his mistake. But she felt the
+difficulty of making such an effort in a room full of company, and to
+the youthful simplicity of her mind that difficulty was enhanced by the
+want of a cent to put into his hand at the same time.</p>
+
+<p>Still, she was so extremely discomfited, that every moment seemed to her
+an age till she could have an opportunity of undeceiving him. She sat
+pale and silent till Robertson stepped up and informed her that she
+seemed quite below par; and Wynslade, who followed him, observed that
+"Miss Mansel was probably incommoded by the heat of the room."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed, scarcely conscious of what she was saying; "it
+is, indeed, too warm&mdash;and here is such a crowd&mdash;and I am so fatigued&mdash;I
+wish it were eleven o'clock&mdash;I wish my father was here to take me home."</p>
+
+<p>Both gentlemen at once volunteered their services; but Selina, struck
+with the idea that during their walk she should have a full opportunity
+of making her explanation to Mr. Robertson, immediately started up, and
+said she would avail herself of <i>his</i> offer. Robertson now cast a
+triumphant glance at Wynslade, who returned it with a look of disgust,
+and walked away, saying to himself, "What an incomprehensible being is
+woman!&mdash;I begin to despise the whole sex!"</p>
+
+<p>Selina then took leave of her hostess, and in a few minutes found
+herself on her way home with Mr. Robertson.</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Robertson," said she, in a hurried voice, "I have something
+particular to say to you."</p>
+
+<p>"Now it is coming," thought Robertson; "but I will take care not to meet
+her half way." Then speaking aloud&mdash;"It is a fine moonlight evening,"
+said he: "that is probably what you are going to observe."</p>
+
+<p>"You are under a serious mistake," continued Selina.</p>
+
+<p>"I believe not," pursued Robertson, looking up. "The sky is quite clear,
+and the moon is at the full."</p>
+
+<p>"Nonsense!" exclaimed Selina.</p>
+
+<p>"I am fond of moonlight," persisted Robertson; "and I am extremely
+flattered at your giving me an opportunity of enjoying it with you."
+Here he stopped short, fearing that he had said too much.</p>
+
+<p>"My only motive," said Selina, "for accepting your offer of escorting me
+home, was that I might have an opportunity of explaining to you." Here
+she paused.</p>
+
+<p>"Take your time, Miss Selina," said Robertson, trying to soften his
+voice. "I do not wish you to hurry yourself. I can wait very well for
+the explanation till to-morrow."</p>
+
+<p>"No, you shall not," said Selina; "I must make it at once, for I shall
+be unable to sleep to-night till I have relieved my mind from it."</p>
+
+<p>"Surely," thought Robertson to himself, "young ladies now-a-days are
+remarkably forward." "Well, then, Miss Mansel," speaking aloud, "proceed
+at once to the point. I am all attention."</p>
+
+<p>Selina still hesitated&mdash;"Really," said she, "I know not how to express
+myself."</p>
+
+<p>"No doubt of it," he replied; "young ladies, I suppose, are not
+accustomed to being very explicit on these occasions. However, I can
+understand&mdash;'A word to the wise,' you know: but the truth is, for my own
+part, I have not quite made up my mind. You are sensible that our
+acquaintance is of very recent date: a wife is not a bill to be accepted
+at sight You know the proverb&mdash;'Marry in haste and repent at leisure.'
+However, I think you may draw on me at sixty days. And now that I have
+acknowledged the receipt of your addresses"&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Selina interrupted him with vehemence&mdash;"Mr. Robertson, what are you
+talking about? You are certainly not in your senses. You are mistaken, I
+tell you&mdash;it is no such thing."</p>
+
+<p>"Come, Miss Mansel," said Robertson, "do not fly from your offer: it is
+too late for what they call coquetry&mdash;actions speak louder than words.
+If I must be plain, why so much embarrassment whenever we meet? To say
+nothing of the flower you gave me&mdash;and that little verse, which speaks
+volumes"&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Speaks nonsense!" cried Selina: "Is it possible you can be so absurd as
+to suppose"&mdash;&mdash;Then bursting into tears of vexation, she exclaimed&mdash;"Oh
+that I had a cent!"</p>
+
+<p>"A cent!" said Robertson, much surprised. "Is it possible you are crying
+for a cent?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, I am," answered Selina; "just now, that is all I want on earth!"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, then," said Robertson, taking one out of his pocket, "you shall
+cry for it no longer: here's one for you."</p>
+
+<p>"This won't do&mdash;this won't do!" sobbed Selina.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, I am sure it is a good cent," said Robertson, "just like any
+other."</p>
+
+<p>"No," cried Selina, "your giving me another cent only makes things
+worse."</p>
+
+<p>By this time they were in sight of Mr. Mansel's door, and Selina
+perceived something on the pavement glittering in the moonlight. "Ah!"
+she exclaimed, taking it up, "this must be the very cent I dropped on my
+way to Mrs. Vincent's. I know it by its being quite a new one. How glad
+I am to find it!"</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Robertson, "I have heard of ladies taking cents to church;
+but I never knew before that they had any occasion for them at
+tea-parties. And, by-the-bye (as I have often told my friend Pennychink
+the vestryman), that practice of handing a money-box round the church in
+service-time, is one of the meanest things I know, and I wonder how any
+man that is a gentleman can bring himself to do it."</p>
+
+<p>"And now, Mr. Robertson," said Selina, hastily wiping her eyes, "have
+you forgotten that I borrowed a cent of you the other day at Mr.
+Stretchlace's store?"</p>
+
+<p>"I <i>had</i> forgotten it," answered Robertson; "but I recollect it now."</p>
+
+<p>"That cent was never returned to you," said Selina.</p>
+
+<p>"It was not," replied Robertson, looking surprised.</p>
+
+<p>"There it is," continued our heroine, as she gave it to him. "Now that I
+see it in your hand, I have courage to explain all. My father and my
+aunt have taught me to dread contracting even the smallest debt.
+Therefore, I could not feel at ease till I had repaid your cent. Several
+untoward circumstances have since prevented my giving it to you, though
+I can assure you, that whenever we met it was seldom absent from my
+mind. This was the real cause of the embarrassment or confusion you talk
+of. When I gave you the flower, and afterwards that foolish motto, I was
+thinking so much of the unlucky cent as to be scarcely conscious of what
+I was doing. Believe me when I repeat to you that this is the whole
+truth of what you have so strangely misinterpreted."</p>
+
+<p>"Is it possible!" exclaimed Robertson: "and was there nothing in it but
+a paltry bit of copper, when I thought all the time that I had at last
+met with a young lady who loved me for myself, and not for my
+bank-stock, and my real estate, and my railroad shares!"</p>
+
+<p>"For neither, I can assure you," said Selina, gayly; "but I shall be
+very glad to hear that yourself, and your bank-stock, and your real
+estate, and your railroad shares, have become the property of a lady of
+better taste than myself."</p>
+
+<p>They had been for some time on the steps of Mr. Mansel's door, and
+before he rung the bell, Robertson said to Selina: "Well, however, you
+know I did not actually come to a proposal?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not exactly," replied Selina, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>"Therefore, you will not tell everybody that you refused me?"</p>
+
+<p>"I will not, indeed," answered Selina. "And now, then, allow me to bid
+you adieu in the words of the song&mdash;'Good night&mdash;all's well!'"</p>
+
+<p>She then tripped into the parlour, where she found her father just
+preparing to come for her; and having made him very merry with her
+account of the events of the evening, she went to bed with a light
+heart.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Robertson returned sullenly to his hotel, as much chagrined as a man
+of his obtuse feelings could possibly be. And he was the more vexed at
+losing Selina, as he conceived that a woman who could give herself so
+much uneasiness on account of a cent, would consequently make a good
+wife. The more he thought of this, the better he liked her: and next
+morning, when Henry Wynslade inquired of him the progress of wooing,
+Robertson not having invention enough to gloss over the truth, told him
+the facts as they really were, and asked his companion's opinion of the
+possibility of yet obtaining Miss Mansel.</p>
+
+<p>"Try again by all means," said Wynslade, who was curious to see how this
+business would end. "There is no knowing what may be the effect of a
+direct proposal&mdash;the ladies never like us the better for proceeding
+slowly and cautiously: so now for a point-blank shot."</p>
+
+<p>"It shall be conveyed in a letter, then," replied Robertson; "I have
+always found it best, in matters of business, to put down everything in
+black and white."</p>
+
+<p>"Do it at once, then," said Wynslade: "I have some thoughts of Miss
+Mansel myself, and perhaps I may cut you out."</p>
+
+<p>"I doubt that," replied Robertson; "you are but commencing business, and
+<i>my</i> fortune is already made."</p>
+
+<p>"I thought," observed Wynslade, "you would marry only on condition of
+being loved for yourself alone."</p>
+
+<p>"I have given up that hope," answered Robertson, with a sort of sigh:
+"however, I was certainly a very pretty baby. I fear I must now be
+content to take a wife on the usual terms."</p>
+
+<p>"Be quick, then, with your proposal," said Wynslade, "for I am impatient
+to make mine."</p>
+
+<p>Wynslade then departed, and Robertson placed himself at his desk, and in
+a short time despatched to our heroine the following epistle, taking
+care to keep a copy of it:</p>
+
+<blockquote><p>"<span class="smcap">Miss Selina Mansel</span>:&mdash;Your statement last night was duly attended
+to; but further consideration may give another turn to the
+business. The following terms are the best I think proper to offer:</p>
+
+<p>"One Town House&mdash;1 Country House&mdash;4 Servants&mdash;2 Horses&mdash;1
+Carriage&mdash;1 Chaise&mdash;1 Set of Jewels&mdash;1 New Dress per Month&mdash;4
+Bonnets per Ann.&mdash;1 Tea-party on your Birthday&mdash;Ditto on mine&mdash;1
+Dinner-party on each anniversary of our Wedding-day, till further
+orders&mdash;2 Plays per Season&mdash;and half an Opera.</p>
+
+<p>"If you are not satisfied with the T. H. and the C. H. you may take
+1 trip per summer to the Springs or the Sea-shore. If the Parties
+on the B.D.'s and the W. D. are not deemed sufficient, you may have
+sundry others.</p>
+
+<p>"On your part I only stipulate for a dish of rice always at dinner,
+black tea, 6 cigars per day, to be smoked by me without remark from
+you&mdash;newspapers, chess, and sundries. Your politics to be always
+the same as mine. No gentlemen under fifty to be received, except
+at parties. No musician to be allowed to enter the house; nor any
+young doctor.</p>
+
+<p>"If you conclude to close with these conditions, let me have advice
+of it as soon as convenient, that I may wait upon you without loss
+of time.</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i6">"Your most obt. servt.<br /></span>
+<span class="i10">"<span class="smcap">John W. Robertson</span>.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>"N.B. It may be well to mention, that with respect to furniture, I
+cannot allow a piano, considering them as nuisances. Shall not
+object to any reasonable number of sofas and
+rocking-chairs.&mdash;Astral lamps at discretion.&mdash;Beg to call your
+attention to the allowance of gowns and bonnets.&mdash;Consider it
+remarkably liberal.&mdash;With respect to dress, sundries of course."</p></blockquote>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>To this letter half an hour brought a concise answer, containing a civil
+but decided refusal, which Mr. Robertson, though quite crest-fallen,
+could not forbear showing to Wynslade, telling him that he now withdrew
+from the market. On the following morning our hero left Somerford on a
+tour to Canada.</p>
+
+<p>Wynslade immediately laid siege to Selina Mansel, and being young,
+handsome, intelligent, and very much in love, he found little difficulty
+in obtaining her heart and hand.</p>
+
+<p>After their marriage the young couple continued to live with Mr. Mansel,
+who since the affair of Robertson has taken especial care that Selina
+shall always be well supplied with cents, frequently procuring her from
+the bank five dollars' worth at a time.</p>
+
+<p>John W. Robertson finally established himself in one of the large
+Atlantic cities; and in process of time his vanity recovered from the
+shock that had been given it by Miss Mansel. He has lately married a
+young widow, who being dependent with her five children on the bounty of
+her sister's husband, in whose house she lived with all her family, had
+address enough to persuade him that she loved him for himself alone.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="THE_LADIES_BALL" id="THE_LADIES_BALL"></a>THE LADIES' BALL.</h2>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Then, thrilling to the harp's gay sound,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">So sweetly rung each vaulted wall,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And echoed light the dancer's bound,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">As mirth and music cheer'd the hall."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Scott.</span><br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<p>The gentlemen who were considered as the <i>élite</i> of a certain city that
+shall be nameless, had been for some years in the practice of giving,
+about Christmas, a splendid ball to the ladies of the same circle. But
+at the period from which we date the commencement of our story,
+Christmas was fast approaching, and there had, as yet, been no
+intimation of the usual practical compliment.</p>
+
+<p>Conjecture was busy among the ladies as to the cause of this
+extraordinary defection; but it was most generally attributed to the
+palpable fact that the attention of the gentlemen had been recently
+directed to a very different channel. In short, the beaux were now
+taking vast strides in the march of intellect, pioneered by certain
+newly popular lecturers in various departments of science. The pursuit
+of knowledge, both useful and useless, had become the order of the day.
+Profound were the researches into those mysteries of nature that in this
+world can never be elucidated: and long and elaborate were the
+dissertations on points that, when established, would not be worth a
+farthing.</p>
+
+<p>The "beaux turned savans," had formed themselves into an association to
+which they had given a polysyllabic name of Greek etymology, and beyond
+the power of female tongue to pronounce, or of female hand to write; but
+a very young girl designated it as the Fee-faw-fum Society. They hired a
+spare room in one of the public buildings, and assembled there "in
+close divan" on stated nights when there were no evening lectures:
+several of the ologists holding forth to their classes of afternoons.</p>
+
+<p>One seemingly indispensable instructor brought up the rear of the host
+of lecturers, and this was a professor of mnemonics: that is, a
+gentleman who gave lessons in memory, pledging himself to furnish the
+minds of his pupils with a regular set of springs, which as soon as
+touched would instantly unlock the treasures of knowledge that were laid
+up in "the storehouse of the brain:" the springs being acted upon by
+certain sheets of engraved and coloured hieroglyphics, some of which
+were numerical figures, others represented trees and houses, and cats
+and dogs, much in the style of what children call primer pictures. Some
+of our readers may, perhaps, recollect this professor, who made the
+circuit of the Union a few years since.</p>
+
+<p>There seemed but two objections to this system, one being that the
+hieroglyphics and their key were harder to remember than the things they
+were to remind you of: the other, that they were frequently to be
+understood by contraries, like the Hetman in Count Benyowsky, whose
+characteristic phraseology is&mdash;"When I say the garret, I mean the
+cellar&mdash;when I tell you to go up, I mean you to come down."</p>
+
+<p>The professor of mnemonics was very unpopular with the ladies, who
+asserted, that he had done the gentlemen more harm than good, by so
+puzzling their already overcharged heads, that he, in many instances,
+destroyed what little memory they had once possessed. This was
+particularly the case with regard to Mr. Slowman, who having, at length,
+proposed in form to Miss Tremor, and the lady, in her agitation, being
+unable at the moment to give him an intelligible answer, he had never
+remembered to press his suit any further.</p>
+
+<p>One thing was certain, that since the gentlemen had been taking lessons
+in memory, they seemed totally to have forgotten the annual ball.</p>
+
+<p>Yet, as the time drew near, there could be no doubt of its frequently
+entering their minds, from their steadily avoiding all reference to the
+subject. There was evidently a tacit understanding among them, that it
+was inexpedient to mention the ball. But the ice was at last broken by
+Gordon Fitzsimmons, as they were all standing round the fire, and
+adjusting their cloaks and surtouts, at the close of one of their
+society meetings.</p>
+
+<p>"Is it not time," said he, "that we should begin to prepare for the
+Christmas ball?"</p>
+
+<p>There was a silence&mdash;at last, one of the young gentlemen spoke, and
+replied&mdash;"that he had long since come to a conclusion that dancing was a
+very foolish thing, and that there was something extremely ridiculous in
+seeing a room-full of men and women jumping about to the sound of a
+fiddle. In short, he regarded it as an amusement derogatory to the
+dignity of human nature."</p>
+
+<p>He was interrupted in the midst of his philippic by Fitzsimmons, who
+advised him to "consider it not so deeply." Now, Fitzsimmons was himself
+an excellent dancer, very popular as a partner, conscious of looking
+well in a ball-room, and therefore a warm advocate for "the poetry of
+motion."</p>
+
+<p>Another of the young philosophers observed, "that he saw neither good
+nor harm in dancing, considered merely as an exercise: but that he was
+now busily engaged in writing a treatise on the Milky Way, the precise
+nature of which he had undoubtedly discovered, and therefore he had no
+leisure to attend to the ball or the ladies."</p>
+
+<p>A second, who was originally from Norridgewock, in the state of Maine,
+protested that almost every moment of his time was now occupied in
+lithographing his drawings for the Flora Norridgewockiana, a work that
+would constitute an important accession to the science of botany, and
+which he was shortly going to publish.</p>
+
+<p>A third declared frankly, that instead of subscribing to the ball, he
+should devote all his spare cash to a much more rational purpose, that
+of purchasing a set of geological specimens from the Himalaya Mountains.
+A fifth, with equal candour, announced a similar intention with regard
+to a box of beetles lately arrived from Van Diemen's Land.</p>
+
+<p>A sixth was deeply and unremittingly employed in composing a history of
+the Muskogee Indians, in which work he would prove to demonstration that
+they were of Russian origin, as their name denotes: Muskogee being
+evidently a corruption of Muscovite; just as the Tuscaroras are
+undoubtedly of Italian descent, the founders of their tribe having, of
+course, come over from Tuscany.</p>
+
+<p>And a seventh (who did things on a large scale) could not possibly give
+his attention to a ball or anything else, till he had finished a work
+which would convince the world that the whole Atlantic Ocean was once
+land, and that the whole American continent was once water.</p>
+
+<p>To be brief, the number of young men who were in favour of the ball was
+so very limited, that it seemed impossible to get one up in a manner
+approaching to the style of former years. And the gentlemen, feeling a
+sort of consciousness that they were not exactly in their duty, became
+more remiss than ever in visiting the ladies.</p>
+
+<p>It was now the week before Christmas: the ladies, being in hourly
+expectation of receiving their cards, had already begun to prepare; and
+flowers, feathers, ribands, and laces were in great activity. Still no
+invitations came. It was now conjectured that the ball was, for some
+extraordinary reason, to be deferred till New Year's. But what this
+reason was, the ladies (being all in a state of pique) had too much
+pride to inquire.</p>
+
+<p>The gentlemen begun to feel a little ashamed; and Gordon Fitzsimmons had
+nearly prevailed on them to agree to a New Year's ball, when Apesley
+Sappington (who had recently returned from England in a coat by Stultz,
+and boots by Hoby) threw a damp on the whole business, by averring that,
+with the exception of Miss Lucinda Mandeville, who was certainly a
+splendid woman with a splendid fortune, there was not a lady in the
+whole circle worth favouring with a ball ticket. At least so they
+appeared to him, after seeing Lady Caroline Percy, and Lady Augusta
+Howard, and Lady Georgiana Beauclerck. Mr. Sappington did not explain
+that his only view of these fair blossoms of nobility had been
+circumscribed to such glimpses as he could catch of them while he stood
+in the street among a crowd assembled in front of Devonshire House, to
+gaze on the company through the windows, which in London are always open
+on gala nights. He assured his friends that all the ladies of the
+American aristocracy had a sort of <i>parvenue</i> air, and looked as if they
+had passed their lives east of Temple Bar; and that he knew not a single
+one of them that would be presentable at Almack's: always excepting Miss
+Lucinda Mandeville.</p>
+
+<p>The gentlemen <i>savans</i> knew Apesley Sappington to be a coxcomb, and in
+their own minds did not believe him; but still they thought it scarcely
+worth while to allow their favourite pursuits to be interrupted for the
+sake of giving a ball to ladies that <i>might</i> be unpresentable at
+Almack's, and that <i>possibly</i> looked like <i>parvenues</i> from the east side
+of Temple Bar.</p>
+
+<p>The belles, though much disappointed at the failure of the expected
+fête, proudly determined not to advert to the subject by the remotest
+hint in presence of the beaux; carefully avoiding even to mention the
+word cotillion when a gentleman was by. One young lady left off wishing
+that Taglioni would come to America, the name of that celebrated
+<i>artiste</i> being synonymous with dancing; and another checked herself
+when about to inquire of her sister if she had seen a missing ball of
+silk, because the word ball was not to be uttered before one of the male
+sex.</p>
+
+<p>Things were in this uncomfortable state, when Miss Lucinda Mandeville,
+the belle <i>par excellence</i>, gave a turn to them which we shall relate,
+after presenting our readers with a sketch of the lady herself.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Mandeville was very beautiful, very accomplished, and very rich,
+and had just completed her twenty-second year. Her parents being dead,
+she presided over an elegant mansion in the most fashionable part of the
+city, having invited an excellent old lady, a distant relation of the
+family, to reside with her. Mrs. Danforth, however, was but nominally
+the companion of Miss Mandeville, being so entirely absorbed in books
+that it was difficult to get her out of the library.</p>
+
+<p>The hand of Miss Mandeville had been sought openly by one-half the
+gentlemen that boasted the honour of her acquaintance, and it had been
+hinted at by the other half, with the exception of Gordon Fitzsimmons, a
+young attorney of highly promising talents, whose ambition would have
+led him to look forward to the probability of arriving at the summit of
+his profession, but whose rise was, as yet, somewhat impeded by several
+very singular notions: such, for instance, as that a lawyer should never
+plead against his conscience, and never undertake what he knows to be
+the wrong side of a cause.</p>
+
+<p>Another of his peculiarities was a strange idea that no gentleman should
+ever condescend to be under pecuniary obligations to his
+wife&mdash;ergo&mdash;that a man who has nothing himself, should never marry a
+woman that has anything. This last consideration had induced Mr.
+Fitzsimmons to undertake the Herculean task of steeling his heart, and
+setting his face against the attractions of Miss Mandeville, with all
+her advantages of mind and person. Notwithstanding, therefore, that her
+conversation was always delightful to him, he rarely visited her, except
+when invited with other company.</p>
+
+<p>Lucinda Mandeville, who, since the age of sixteen, had been surrounded
+by admirers, and accustomed to all the adulation that is generally
+lavished on a beauty and an heiress, was surprised at the apparent
+coldness of Gordon Fitzsimmons, than whom she had never met with a young
+man more congenial to her taste. His manifest indifference continually
+attracted her attention, and, after awhile, she began to suspect that it
+was no indifference at all, and that something else lurked beneath it.
+What that was, the sagacity of her sex soon enabled her to discover.</p>
+
+<p>Fitzsimmons never urged Lucinda to play, never handed her to the piano,
+never placed her harp for her, never turned over the leaves of her music
+book; but she always perceived that though he affected to mingle with
+the groups that stood round as listeners, he uniformly took a position
+from whence he could see her to advantage all the time. When she
+happened to glance towards him, which, it must be confessed, she did
+much oftener than she intended (particularly when she came to the finest
+passage of her song), she never failed to find his eyes fixed on her
+face with a gaze of involuntary admiration, that, when they met, was
+instantly changed to an averted look of indifference.</p>
+
+<p>Though he was scrupulous in dancing with her once only in the course of
+the evening, she could not but perceive that, during this set, his
+countenance, in spite of himself, lighted up with even more than its
+usual animation. And if she accidentally turned her head, she saw that
+his eyes were following her every motion: as well indeed they might, for
+she danced with the lightness of a sylph, and the elegance of a lady.</p>
+
+<p>Notwithstanding his own acknowledged taste for everything connected with
+the fine arts, Fitzsimmons never asked to see Miss Mandeville's
+drawings. But she observed that after she had been showing them to
+others, and he supposed her attention to be elsewhere engaged, he failed
+not to take them up, and gaze on them as if he found it difficult to lay
+them down again.</p>
+
+<p>In conversation, he never risked a compliment to Miss Mandeville, but
+often dissented with her opinion, and frequently rallied her.&mdash;Yet when
+she was talking to any one else, he always contrived to be within
+hearing; and frequently, when engaged himself in conversing with others,
+he involuntarily stopped short to listen to what Lucinda was saying.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Mandeville had read much, and seen much, and had had much love
+made to her: but her heart had never, till now, been touched even
+slightly. That Fitzsimmons admired her, she could not possibly doubt:
+and that he loved her, she would have been equally certain, only that he
+continued all the time in excellent health and spirits; that, so far
+from sitting "like patience on a monument," he seldom sat anywhere; that
+when he smiled (which he did very often) it was evidently not at grief;
+and that the concealment he affected, was assuredly not feeding on his
+cheek, which, so far from turning "green and yellow," had lost nothing
+of its "natural ruby."</p>
+
+<p>Neither was our heroine at all likely to die for love. Though there
+seemed no prospect of his coming to a proposal, and though she was
+sometimes assured by the youngest and prettiest of her female friends,
+that they knew from authentic sources that Mr. Fitzsimmons had
+magnanimously declared against marrying a woman of fortune; yet other
+ladies, who were neither young nor handsome, and had no hope of Mr.
+Fitzsimmons for themselves, were so kind as to convince Miss Mandeville
+that he admired her even at "the very top of admiration." And these
+generous and disinterested ladies were usually, after such agreeable
+communications, invited by Miss Mandeville to pass the evening with her.</p>
+
+<p>Also&mdash;our heroine chanced one day to overhear a conversation between
+Dora, her own maid, and another mulatto girl; in which Dora averred to
+her companion that she had heard from no less authority than Squire
+Fitzsimmons's man Cato, "who always wore a blue coat, be the colour what
+it may, that the squire was dead in love with Miss Lucinda, as might be
+seen from many invisible <i>symptoms</i>, and that both Dora and Cato had a
+certain <i>foregiving</i> that it would turn out a match at last, for all
+that the lady had the money on her side, which, to be sure, was rather
+unnatural; and that the wedding might be looked for <i>momently</i>, any
+minute."</p>
+
+<p>In the course of the next quarter of an hour, Miss Lucinda called Dora
+into her dressing-room, and presented her with a little Thibet shawl,
+which she had worn but once. Dora grinned understandingly: and from that
+time she contrived to be overheard so frequently in similar
+conversations, that much of the effect was diminished.</p>
+
+<p>To resume the thread of our narrative&mdash;Lucinda being one morning on a
+visit to her friend Miss Delwin, the latter adverted to the failure of
+the annual dancing party.</p>
+
+<p>"What would the beaux say," exclaimed Lucinda, struck with a sudden
+idea, "if the belles were to give a ball to <i>them</i>, by way of hinting
+our sense of their extraordinary remissness? Let us convince them that,
+according to the luminous and incontrovertible aphorism of the renowned
+Sam Patch, 'some things may be done as well as others.'"</p>
+
+<p>"Excellent," replied Miss Delwin; "the thought is well worth pursuing.
+Let us try what we can make of it."</p>
+
+<p>The two young ladies then proceeded to an animated discussion of the
+subject, and the more they talked of it, the better they liked it. They
+very soon moulded the idea into regular form: and, as there was no time
+to be lost, they set out to call on several of their friends, and
+mention it to them.</p>
+
+<p>The idea, novel as it seemed, was seized on with avidity by all to whom
+it was suggested, and a secret conclave was held on the following
+morning at Miss Mandeville's house, where the ladies debated with closed
+doors, while the plan was organized and the particulars arranged: our
+heroine proposing much that she thought would "point the moral and adorn
+the tale."</p>
+
+<p>Next day, notes of invitation to a ball given by the ladies, were sent
+round to the gentlemen; all of whom were surprised, and many mortified,
+for they at once saw the motive, and understood the implied reproof.
+Some protested that they should never have courage to go, and talked of
+declining the invitation. But the majority decided on accepting it,
+justly concluding that it was best to carry the thing off with a good
+grace; and having, besides, much curiosity to see how the ladies would
+<i>conduct</i>, if we may be pardoned a Yankeeism.</p>
+
+<p>Fitzsimmons declared that the delinquent beaux were rightly punished by
+this palpable hit of the belles. And he congratulated himself on having
+always voted in favour of the ball being given as formerly: secretly
+hoping that Miss Mandeville knew that <i>he</i> had not been one of the
+backsliders. We are tolerably sure that she <i>did</i> know it.</p>
+
+<p>Eventually the invitations were all accepted, and the preparations went
+secretly but rapidly on, under the superintendence of Miss Mandeville
+and Miss Delwin. In the mean time, the gentlemen, knowing that they all
+looked conscious and foolish, avoided the ladies, and kept themselves as
+much out of their sight as possible; with the exception of Gordon
+Fitzsimmons, he being the only one that felt freedom to "wear his beaver
+up."</p>
+
+<p>At length the eventful evening arrived. It had been specified in the
+notes that the ladies were to meet the gentlemen at the ball-room, which
+was a public one engaged for the occasion. Accordingly, the beaux found
+all the belles there before them: the givers of the <i>fête</i> having gone
+in their own conveyances, an hour in advance of the time appointed for
+their guests.</p>
+
+<p>The six ladies that officiated as managers (and were all distinguished
+by a loop of blue riband drawn through their belts) met the gentlemen at
+the door as they entered the ball-room, and taking their hands,
+conducted them to their seats with much mock civility. The gentlemen,
+though greatly ashamed, tried in vain to look grave.</p>
+
+<p>The room was illuminated with astral lamps, whose silver rays shone out
+from clusters of blue and purple flowers, and with crystal chandeliers,
+whose pendent drops sparkled amid festoons of roses. The walls were
+painted of a pale and beautiful cream colour. Curtains of the richest
+crimson, relieved by their masses of shadow the brilliant lightness of
+the other decorations: their deep silken fringes reflected in the
+mirrors, whose polished surfaces were partially hidden by folds of their
+graceful drapery. The orchestra represented a splendid oriental tent;
+and the musicians were habited in uniform Turkish dresses, their white
+turbans strikingly contrasting their black faces.</p>
+
+<p>At the opposite end of the room was an excellent transparency, executed
+by an artist from a sketch by Miss Mandeville. It depicted a medley of
+scenery and figures, but so skilfully and tastefully arranged as to have
+a very fine effect when viewed as a whole. There was a Virginian lady
+assisting her cavalier to mount his horse&mdash;a Spanish damsel under the
+lattice of her lover, serenading him with a guitar&mdash;a Swiss <i>paysanne</i>
+supporting the steps of a chamois hunter as he timidly clambered up a
+rock&mdash;four Hindoo women carrying a Bramin in a palanquin&mdash;an English
+girl rowing a sailor in a boat&mdash;and many other anomalies of a similar
+description. Beneath the picture was a scroll fancifully ornamented, and
+containing the words "<i>Le monde renversé</i>."</p>
+
+<p>That nothing might be wanting to the effect of the ball, the ladies had
+made a point of appearing this evening in dresses unusually splendid and
+<i>recherché</i>. The elegant form of Lucinda Mandeville was attired in a
+rich purple satin, bordered with gold embroidery, and trimmed round the
+neck with blond lace. Long full sleeves of the same material threw
+their transparent shade over her beautiful arms, and were confined at
+intervals with bands of pearls clasped with amethysts. A chain of pearls
+was arranged above the curls of her dark and glossy hair, crossing at
+the back of her head, and meeting in front, where it terminated in a
+splendid amethyst aigrette. Three short white feathers, tastefully
+disposed at intervals, completed the coiffure, which was peculiarly
+becoming to the noble and resplendent style of beauty that distinguished
+our heroine; though to a little slight woman with light hair and eyes,
+it would have been exactly the contrary.</p>
+
+<p>"Did you ever see so princess-like a figure as Miss Mandeville?" said
+young Rainsford to Gordon Fitzsimmons, "or features more finely
+chiselled?"</p>
+
+<p>"I have never seen a princess," replied Fitzsimmons, "but from what I
+have heard, few of them look in reality as a princess should. Neither, I
+think, does the word <i>chiselled</i> apply exactly to features, formed by a
+hand beside whose noble and beautiful creations the finest <i>chef
+d'&oelig;uvres</i> of sculpture are as nothing. I like not to hear of the
+human face being <i>well cut</i> or <i>finely chiselled</i>: though these
+expressions have long been sanctioned by the currency of fashion. Why
+borrow from art a term, or terms, that so imperfectly defines the beauty
+of nature? When we look at a living face, with features more lovely than
+the imagination of an artist has ever conceived, or at a complexion
+blooming with health, and eyes sparkling with intelligence, why should
+our delight and our admiration be disturbed, by admitting any idea
+connected with a block of marble and the instruments that form it into
+shape?"</p>
+
+<p>"But you must allow," said Rainsford, "that Miss Mandeville has a fine
+classic head."</p>
+
+<p>"I acknowledge," said Fitzsimmons, "the graceful contour of the heads
+called classic. On this side of the Atlantic we have few opportunities
+of judging of antique sculpture, except from casts and engravings. But
+as to the faces of the nymphs and goddesses of Grecian art, I must
+venture to confess that they do not exactly comport with my ideas of
+female loveliness. Not to speak of their almost unvarying sameness (an
+evidence, I think, that they are not modelled from life, for nature
+never repeats herself), their chief characteristics are a cold
+regularity of outline, and an insipid straightness of nose and forehead,
+such as in a living countenance would be found detrimental to all
+expression. I know I am talking heresy: but I cannot divest myself of
+the persuasion, that a face with precisely the features that we are
+accustomed to admire in antique statuary, would, if clothed in flesh and
+blood, be scarcely considered beautiful."</p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps so," said Rainsford; "but you surely consider Miss Mandeville
+beautiful?"</p>
+
+<p>"The beauty of Lucinda Mandeville," replied Fitzsimmons, "is not that of
+a Grecian statue. It is the beauty of an elegant American lady, uniting
+all the best points of her countrywomen. Her figure is symmetry itself,
+and there is an ease, a grace, a dignity in her movements, which I have
+never seen surpassed. Her features are lovely in their form and charming
+in their expression, particularly her fine black eyes: and her
+complexion is unrivalled both in its bloom and its delicacy."</p>
+
+<p>"What a pity that Lucinda does not hear all this!" remarked Miss Delwin,
+who happened to be near Fitzsimmons and his friend.</p>
+
+<p>Fitzsimmons coloured, fearing that he had spoken with too much warmth:
+and, bowing to Miss Delwin, he took the arm of Rainsford, and went to
+another part of the room.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Delwin, however, lost no time in finding Lucinda, and repeated the
+whole, verbatim, to her highly gratified friend, who tried to look
+indifferent, but blushed and smiled all the time she was listening: and
+who, from this moment, felt a sensible accession to her usual excellent
+spirits.</p>
+
+<p>"Ladies," said Miss Delwin, "choose your partners for a cotillion."</p>
+
+<p>For a few moments the ladies hesitated, and held back at the idea of so
+novel a beginning to the ball: and Fitzsimmons, much amused, made a sign
+to his friends not to advance. Miss Mandeville came forward with a smile
+on her lips, and a blush on her cheeks. The heart of Fitzsimmons beat
+quick; but she passed him, and curtsying to young Colesberry, who was
+just from college, and extremely diffident, she requested the honour of
+his hand, and led him, with as much composure as she could assume, to a
+cotillion that was forming in the centre of the room; he shrinking and
+apologizing all the while. And Miss Delwin engaged Fitzsimmons.</p>
+
+<p>In a short time, all the ladies had provided themselves with partners.
+At first, from the singularity of their mutual situation, both beaux and
+belles felt themselves under considerable embarrassment, but gradually
+this awkwardness wore away, and an example being set by the master
+spirits of the assembly, there was much pleasantry on either side; all
+being determined to humour the jest, and sustain it throughout with as
+good a grace as possible.</p>
+
+<p>When the cotillions were forming for the second set, nearly a dozen
+young ladies found themselves simultaneously approaching Gordon
+Fitzsimmons, each with the design of engaging him as a partner. And this
+<i>empressement</i> was not surprising, as he was decidedly the handsomest
+and most elegant man in the room.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, ladies," said Fitzsimmons, as they almost surrounded him, "you
+must decide among yourselves which of you is to take me out. All I can
+do is to stand still and be passive. But I positively interdict any
+quarrelling about me."</p>
+
+<p>"We have heard," said Miss Atherley, "of men dying of love, dying of
+grief, and dying from fear of death. We are now trying if it is not
+possible to make them die of vanity."</p>
+
+<p>"True," replied Fitzsimmons, "we may say with Harry the Fifth at
+Agincourt&mdash;'He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,'"&mdash;"'Will
+stand a-tiptoe when this day is named,'"&mdash;added Miss Atherley, finishing
+the quotation.</p>
+
+<p>Fitzsimmons did not reply; for his attention was at that moment engaged
+by seeing Miss Manderville leading out Apesley Sappington, and
+apparently much diverted with his absurdities.</p>
+
+<p>"Ladies," said Miss Atherley, looking round to her companions, "let us
+try a fair chance of Mr. Fitzsimmons&mdash;suppose we draw lots for him."</p>
+
+<p>"Do&mdash;by all means," exclaimed Fitzsimmons. "Set me up at a raffle."</p>
+
+<p>"No," replied Miss Atherley, "we cannot conveniently raffle for you, as
+we have no dice at hand. Another way will do as well."</p>
+
+<p>She then plucked from her bouquet some green rose-leaves, and half
+concealing them between her fingers, she offered the stems to each of
+her companions in turn, saying&mdash;"Whoever draws the largest rose-leaf may
+claim the honour of Mr. Fitzsimmons's hand for the next set."</p>
+
+<p>The lots were drawn, and the largest rose-leaf remained with Miss
+Atherley (who was a young lady of much beauty and vivacity), and whom
+her friends laughingly accused of foul play in contriving to hold it
+back, in which opinion Fitzsimmons assured them that he perfectly
+coincided. But Miss Atherley, however, led him triumphantly to the
+cotillion which, fortunately for his partner, did not happen to be the
+one in which Lucinda Mandeville was engaged.</p>
+
+<p>At the conclusion of each set, the ladies conducted the gentlemen to
+their seats, assisted them to the refreshments that were handed round,
+and stood by and fanned them. Most of the gentlemen took all this very
+well, but others were much disconcerted: particularly a grave
+knight-errant-looking Spaniard, who (having but lately arrived, and
+understanding the language but imperfectly) conceived that it was the
+custom in America for ladies to give balls to gentlemen, and to wait on
+them during the evening. In this error he was mischievously allowed to
+continue: but so much was his gallantry shocked, that he could not
+forbear dropping on his knees to receive the attentions that were
+assiduously proffered to him: bowing gratefully on the fair hands that
+presented him with a glass of orgeat or a plate of ice-cream.&mdash;And he
+was so overcome with the honour, and so deeply penetrated with a sense
+of his own unworthiness, when Lucinda Mandeville invited him to dance
+with her, that she almost expected to see him perform kotou, and knock
+his head nine times against the floor.</p>
+
+<p>Among others of the company was Colonel Kingswood, a very agreeable
+bachelor, long past the meridian of life, but not quite old enough to
+marry a young girl, his mind, as yet, showing no symptoms of dotage. His
+fortune was not sufficient to make him an object of speculation, and
+though courteous to all, his attentions were addressed exclusively to
+none. He was much liked by his young friends of both sexes, all of them
+feeling perfectly at ease in his society. Though he rarely danced, he
+was very fond of balls, and had participated in the vexation of Gordon
+Fitzsimmons when the beaux had declined giving their Christmas fête to
+the belles.</p>
+
+<p>In an interval between the sets, Lucinda suggested to a group of her
+fair companions, the propriety of asking Colonel Kingswood to dance; a
+compliment that he had not as yet received during the evening. "You
+know," said she, "the Colonel sometimes dances, and now that the ladies
+have assumed the privilege of choosing their partners, courtesy requires
+that none of the gentlemen should be neglected."</p>
+
+<p>But each declined asking Colonel Kingswood, on the plea that they had
+other partners in view.</p>
+
+<p>"For my part," said Miss Ormond, frankly, "I am just going to ask Mr.
+Wyndham. This is, perhaps, the only chance I shall ever have of dancing
+with him, as I am quite certain he will never ask <i>me</i>."</p>
+
+<p>"But, my dear Lucinda," said Miss Elgrove, "why not invite Colonel
+Kingswood yourself? There he is, talking to Mr. Fitzsimmons, near the
+central window. It is not magnanimous to propose to others what you are
+unwilling to do in <i>propriâ personâ</i>."</p>
+
+<p>Lucinda had, in reality, but one objection to proposing herself as a
+partner to Colonel Kingswood, and that was, his being just then engaged
+in conversation with Gordon Fitzsimmons, whom she felt a sort of
+conscious reluctance to approach. However, she paused a moment, and then
+summoned courage to join the two gentlemen and proffer her request to
+the Colonel, even though Fitzsimmons was close at hand.</p>
+
+<p>"My dear Miss Mandeville," said Colonel Kingswood, "I confess that I
+have not courage to avail myself of your very tempting proposal. As my
+fighting days are now over, I cannot stand the shot of the jealous eyes
+that will be directed at me from every part of the ball-room."</p>
+
+<p>"I have seen you dance," remarked Lucinda, evading the application of
+his compliment.</p>
+
+<p>"True," replied the Colonel, "but you might have observed that I never
+take out the <i>young</i> ladies&mdash;always being so considerate as to leave
+them to the young gentlemen. I carry my disinterestedness so far as
+invariably to select partners that are <i>ni jeune, ni jolie</i>:
+notwithstanding the remarks I frequently hear about well-matched pairs,
+&amp;c."</p>
+
+<p>"I am to understand, then," said Lucinda, "that you are mortifying me by
+a refusal."</p>
+
+<p>"Come, now, be honest," returned Colonel Kingswood, "and change the word
+'mortify' into <i>gratify</i>. But do not turn away. It is customary, you
+know, when a man is drawn for the militia and is unwilling to serve, to
+allow him to choose a substitute. Here then is mine. Advance, Mr.
+Fitzsimmons, and with such a partner I shall expect to see you 'rise
+from the ground like feather'd Mercury.'"</p>
+
+<p>Fitzsimmons came forward with sparkling eyes and a heightened colour,
+and offered his hand to Lucinda, whose face was suffused even to the
+temples. There were a few moments of mutual confusion, and neither party
+uttered a word till they had reached the cotillion. The music commenced
+as soon as they had taken their places, and Lucinda being desired by her
+opposite lady to lead, there was no immediate conversation.</p>
+
+<p>Our heroine called up all her pride, all her self-command, and all her
+native buoyancy of spirits; Fitzsimmons did the same, and they managed
+in the intervals of the dance to talk with so much vivacity, that each
+was convinced that their secret was still preserved from the other.</p>
+
+<p>When the set was over, they returned to the place in which they had left
+Colonel Kingswood, who received them with a smile.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Miss Mandeville," said he, "what pretty things have you been
+saying to your partner?"</p>
+
+<p>"Ask Mr. Fitzsimmons," replied Lucinda.</p>
+
+<p>"Not a single compliment could I extract from her," said Fitzsimmons;
+"she had not even the grace to imply her gratitude for doing me the
+honour of dancing with me, or rather, for my doing her the honour. Ah!
+that is it&mdash;is it not? I forgot the present mode of expression. It is so
+difficult for one night only to get out of the old phraseology. But she
+certainly expressed no gratitude."</p>
+
+<p>"I owed you none," replied Lucinda; "for, like Malvolio, you have had
+greatness thrust upon you. You know you are only Colonel Kingswood's
+substitute."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," resumed Fitzsimmons, "have I not done my best to make 'the
+substitute shine brightly as the king?'"</p>
+
+<p>"Recollect that the king is now by," said Colonel Kingswood. "But, Miss
+Mandeville, you must go through your part. Consider that to-night is the
+only opportunity the gentlemen may ever have of hearing how adroitly the
+ladies can flatter them."</p>
+
+<p>"It is not in the bond," replied Lucinda.</p>
+
+<p>"What is not?"</p>
+
+<p>"That the ladies should flatter the gentlemen."</p>
+
+<p>"Excuse me," said Colonel Kingswood; "the ladies having voluntarily
+taken the responsibility, the gentlemen must insist on their going
+regularly through the whole ball with all its accompaniments, including
+compliments, flattery, and flirtation, and a seasoning of genuine
+courtship, of which last article there is always more or less at every
+large party. And as it appears that Miss Mandeville has not faithfully
+done her part during the dance, she must make amends by doing it now."</p>
+
+<p>"On the latter subject," said Fitzsimmons, "Miss Mandeville can need no
+prompting. Her own experience must have made her familiar with courtship
+in all its varieties."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course,"&mdash;resumed the Colonel.&mdash;"So, Miss Mandeville, you can be at
+no loss in what manner to begin."</p>
+
+<p>"And am I to stand here and be courted?" said Fitzsimmons.</p>
+
+<p>"Now do not be frightened," observed the Colonel, "and do not look round
+as if you were meditating an escape. I will stand by and see how you
+acquit yourself in this new and delightful situation. Come, Miss
+Mandeville, begin."</p>
+
+<p>"What sort of courtship will you have?" said Lucinda, who could not
+avoid laughing. "The sentimental, the prudential, or the downright?"</p>
+
+<p>"The downright, by all means," cried the Colonel. "No, no," said
+Fitzsimmons; "let me hear the others first. The downright would be too
+overwhelming without a previous preparation."</p>
+
+<p>Lucinda affected to hide her face with a feather that had fallen from
+her head during the dance, and which she still held in her hand, and she
+uttered hesitatingly and with downcast eyes&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"If I could hope to be pardoned for my temerity in thus presuming to
+address one whose manifest perfections so preponderate in the scale,
+when weighed against my own demerits&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! stop, stop!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons; "this will never do!"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, it is just the way a poor young fellow courted me last summer,"
+replied Lucinda. "Come, let me go on. Conscious as I am that I might as
+well 'love a bright and particular star, and think to wed it&mdash;'"</p>
+
+<p>"You will never succeed in that strain," said Fitzsimmons, laughing.
+"You must try another."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, then," continued Lucinda, changing her tone, "here is the
+prudential mode. Mr. Gordon Fitzsimmons, thinking it probable (though I
+speak advisedly) that you may have no objection to change your
+condition, and believing (though perhaps I may be mistaken) that we are
+tolerably well suited to each other&mdash;I being my own mistress, and you
+being your own master&mdash;perceiving no great disparity of age, or
+incompatibility of temper&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I like not this mode either," interrupted Fitzsimmons; "it is worse
+than the other."</p>
+
+<p>"Do you think so?" resumed Lucinda. "It is just the way a rich old
+fellow courted me last winter."</p>
+
+<p>"Nothing is more likely," said Fitzsimmons. "But neither of these modes
+will succeed with me."</p>
+
+<p>"Then," observed the Colonel, "there is nothing left but the plain
+downright."</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Fitzsimmons, will you marry me?" said Lucinda.</p>
+
+<p>"With all my heart and soul," replied Fitzsimmons, taking her hand.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! you forget yourself," exclaimed Lucinda, struggling to withdraw it.
+"You are not half so good a comedian as I am. You should look down, and
+play with your guard-chain; and then look up, and tell me you are
+perfectly happy in your single state&mdash;that marriage is a lottery&mdash;that
+our acquaintance has been too slight for either of us to form a correct
+opinion of the other. In short, you should say <i>no</i>."</p>
+
+<p>"By heavens!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons, kissing her beautiful hand; "I
+cannot say no&mdash;even in jest."</p>
+
+<p>Lucinda's first sensation was involuntary delight. But in a moment she
+was startled by the conviction that she had unthinkingly gone too far.
+The native delicacy of woman thrilled every nerve in her frame, and her
+cheeks varied alternately from red to pale. Shocked at the length to
+which she had inadvertently carried a dialogue begun in <i>badinage</i>, and
+confused, mortified, and distressed at its result, she forcibly
+disengaged her hand from that of Fitzsimmons, and turning to a lady and
+gentleman that she saw passing, she said she would accompany them to the
+other end of the room. Arrived there, she seated herself in the midst of
+a group that were warmly engaged in discussing the comparative merits of
+Spanish dances and Polish dances: and she endeavoured to collect her
+scattered thoughts, and compose the flutter of her spirits. But it was
+in vain&mdash;the more she reflected on the little scene that had just taken
+place, the more she regretted it.</p>
+
+<p>"What must Fitzsimmons think of me?" was her predominant idea. "His
+gallantry as a gentleman prompted his reply, but still how sadly I must
+have sunk in his opinion! That I should have allowed myself to be drawn
+into such a conversation! That I should have carried a foolish jest so
+far! But I will punish myself severely. I will expiate my folly by
+avoiding all farther intercourse with Gordon Fitzsimmons; and from this
+night we must become strangers to each other."</p>
+
+<p>The change in Lucinda's countenance and manner was now so obvious that
+several of her friends asked her if she was ill. To these questions she
+answered in the negative: but her cheeks grew paler, and the tears
+sprang to her eyes.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Delwin now approached, and said to her in a low voice&mdash;"My dear
+Lucinda, I perceive that you are suffering under some <i>contre-tems</i>; but
+such things, you know, are always incidental to balls, and all other
+assemblages where every one expects unqualified delight. We should be
+prepared for these contingencies, and when they do occur, the only
+alternative is to try to pass them over as well as we can, by making an
+effort to rally our spirits so as to get through the remainder of the
+evening with apparent composure, or else to plead indisposition and go
+home. Which course will you take?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! how gladly would I retire!" exclaimed Lucinda, scarcely able to
+restrain her tears. "But were I to do so, there are persons who might
+put strange constructions&mdash;or rather the company might be induced to
+make invidious remarks&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"By no means," interrupted Miss Delwin. "A lady may at any time be
+overcome with the heat and fatigue of a ball-room&mdash;nothing is more
+common."</p>
+
+<p>"But," said Lucinda, "were I to leave the company&mdash;were I to appear as
+if unable to stay&mdash;were I to evince so much emotion&mdash;he would, indeed,
+suppose me in earnest."</p>
+
+<p>"He!" cried Miss Delwin, looking surprised. "Of whom are you speaking,
+dear Lucinda? Who is it that would suppose you in earnest?"</p>
+
+<p>"No matter," replied Lucinda, "I spoke inadvertently; I forgot myself; I
+knew not what I was saying."</p>
+
+<p>"Dearest Lucinda," exclaimed Miss Delwin, "I am extremely sorry to find
+you so discomposed. What can have happened? At a more convenient time,
+may I hope that you will tell me?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! no, no," replied Lucinda, "it is impossible. I cannot speak of it
+even to you. Ask me no further. I am distressed, humiliated, shocked at
+myself (and she covered her face with her hands). But I cannot talk
+about it, now or ever."</p>
+
+<p>"Lucinda, my dear Lucinda," said Miss Delwin, "your agitation will be
+observed."</p>
+
+<p>"Then I must endeavour to suppress it," replied Lucinda, starting up. "I
+<i>must</i> stay till this unfortunate ball is over; my going home would seem
+too pointed."</p>
+
+<p>"Let me then intreat you, my dear girl," said Miss Delwin, "to exert
+yourself to appear as usual. Come, take my arm, and we will go and talk
+nonsense to Apesley Sappington."</p>
+
+<p>Lucinda did make an effort to resume her usual vivacity. But it was
+evidently forced. She relapsed continually: and she resembled an actress
+that is one moment playing with her wonted spirit, and the next moment
+forgetting her part.</p>
+
+<p>"So," said Colonel Kingswood to Fitzsimmons, after Lucinda had left them
+together, "I am to infer that you are are really in love with Miss
+Mandeville?"</p>
+
+<p>"Ardently&mdash;passionately&mdash;and I long to tell her so in earnest," replied
+Fitzsimmons; and he took up the feather that Lucinda in her agitation
+had dropped from her hand.</p>
+
+<p>"Of course, then, you will make your proposal to-morrow morning," said
+the colonel.</p>
+
+<p>"No," replied Fitzsimmons, concealing the feather within the breast of
+his coat. "I cannot so wound her delicacy. I see that she is
+disconcerted at the little scene into which we inadvertently drew her,
+and alarmed at the idea that perhaps she allowed herself to go too far.
+I respect her feelings, and I will spare them. But to me she has long
+been the most charming woman in existence."</p>
+
+<p>"What, then," inquired the colonel, "has retarded the disclosure of your
+secret, if secret it may be called?"</p>
+
+<p>"Her superiority in point of fortune," replied Fitzsimmons. "You know
+the small amount of property left me by my father, and that in my
+profession I am as yet but a beginner; though I must own that my
+prospects of success are highly encouraging. To say nothing of my
+repugnance to reversing the usual order of the married state, and
+drawing the chief part of our expenditure from the money of my wife, how
+could I expect to convince her that my motives in seeking her hand were
+otherwise than mercenary?"</p>
+
+<p>"Are they?" said Colonel Kingswood, with a half smile.</p>
+
+<p>"No, on my soul they are not," replied Fitzsimmons, earnestly. "Were our
+situations reversed, I would, without a moment's hesitation, lay all
+that I possessed at her feet, and think myself the most honoured, the
+most fortunate of men if I could obtain a gem whose intrinsic value
+requires not the aid of a gold setting."</p>
+
+<p>"Do you suppose, then," said Colonel Kingswood, "that a lovely and
+elegant woman like Miss Lucinda Mandeville can have so humble an opinion
+of herself as to suppose that she owes all her admirers to her wealth,
+and that there is nothing attractive about her but her bank-stock and
+her houses?"</p>
+
+<p>"Since I first knew Miss Mandeville," replied Fitzsimmons, "I have
+secretly cherished the hope of being one day worthy of her acceptance.
+And this hope has incited me to be doubly assiduous in my profession,
+with the view of ultimately acquiring both wealth and distinction. And
+when I have made a name, as well as a fortune, I shall have no scruples
+in offering myself to her acceptance."</p>
+
+<p>"And before all this is accomplished," observed the colonel, "some lucky
+fellow, with a ready-made fortune, and a ready-made name, or, more
+probably, some bold adventurer with neither, may fearlessly step in and
+carry off the prize."</p>
+
+<p>"There is madness in the thought!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons, putting his
+hand to his forehead.</p>
+
+<p>"Did it never strike you before?" inquired the colonel.</p>
+
+<p>"It has, it has," cried Fitzsimmons; "a thousand times has it passed
+like a dark cloud over the sunshine of my hopes."</p>
+
+<p>"Take my advice," said the colonel, "and address Miss Mandeville at
+once."</p>
+
+<p>"Fool that I was!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons, "how could I be so utterly
+absurd&mdash;so devoid of all tact, as to reply to her unguarded <i>badinage</i>
+in a tone of reality! No wonder she looked so disconcerted, so shocked.
+At this moment, how she must hate me!"</p>
+
+<p>"I am not so sure of that," observed the colonel; "but take my advice,
+and let the <i>etourderie</i> of this evening be repaired by the opening it
+affords you of disclosing your real feelings to the object of your
+love."</p>
+
+<p>"I cannot," replied Fitzsimmons, "I cannot, after what has passed, run
+the risk of giving farther offence to her delicacy."</p>
+
+<p>"Her delicacy," remarked the colonel, "may be more deeply offended by
+your delaying the disclosure. But we must separate for the present. If
+Miss Mandeville sees us talking together so earnestly, she may justly
+suppose herself the object of discussion."</p>
+
+<p>The two gentlemen parted; and Fitzsimmons, feeling it impossible to
+speak to Lucinda again that evening, and having no inclination to talk
+to any one else, withdrew from the ball, and passed two hours in
+traversing his own room.</p>
+
+<p>After the departure of her lover, Lucinda felt more at her ease;
+particularly as Colonel Kingswood was so considerate as to avoid
+approaching her. During the remainder of the evening, she exerted
+herself with such success as to recall a portion of her natural
+sprightliness, and of the habitual self-command that she had acquired
+from living in the world of fashion.</p>
+
+<p>Supper was announced. The ladies, persisting in their assumed
+characters, conducted the gentlemen to the table, where the profusion
+and variety of the delicacies that composed the feast, could only be
+equalled by the taste and elegance with which they were decorated and
+arranged. The belles filled the plates of the beaux, and poured out the
+wine for them; and many pretty things were said about ambrosia and
+nectar.</p>
+
+<p>At the conclusion of the banquet, the band in the orchestra, on a signal
+from some of the gentlemen, struck up the symphony to a favourite air
+that chiefly owes its popularity to the words with which Moore has
+introduced it into his melodies; and "To ladies' eyes a round, boys,"
+was sung in concert by all the best male voices in the room. The song
+went off with much eclat, and made a pleasant conclusion to the evening.</p>
+
+<p>After the belles had curtsied out the beaux, and retired to the
+cloak-room to equip themselves for their departure, they found the
+gentlemen all waiting to see them to their carriages, and assist in
+escorting them home: declaring that as the play was over, and the
+curtain dropped, they must be allowed to resume their real characters.</p>
+
+<p>When Lucinda Mandeville arrived at her own house, and found herself
+alone in her dressing-room, all the smothered emotions of the evening
+burst forth without restraint, and leaning her head on the arm of the
+sofa, she indulged in a long fit of tears before she proceeded to take
+off her ornaments. But when she went to her psyche for that purpose, she
+could not help feeling that hers was not a face and figure to be seen
+with indifference, and that in all probability the unguarded warmth with
+which Fitzsimmons had replied to her mock courtship, was only the
+genuine ebullition of a sincere and ardent passion.</p>
+
+<p>It was long before she could compose herself to sleep, and her dreams
+were entirely of the ball and of Fitzsimmons. When she arose next
+morning, she determined to remain all day up stairs, and to see no
+visiters; rejoicing that the fatigue of the preceding evening would
+probably keep most of her friends at home.</p>
+
+<p>About noon, Gordon Fitzsimmons, who had counted the moments till then,
+sent up his card with a pencilled request to see Miss Mandeville.
+Terrified, agitated, and feeling as if she never again could raise her
+eyes to his face, or open her lips in his presence, Lucinda's first
+thought was to reply that she was indisposed, but she checked herself
+from sending him such a message, first, because it was not exactly the
+truth, and secondly, lest he should suppose that the cause of her
+illness might have some reference to himself. She therefore desired the
+servant simply to tell Mr. Fitzsimmons that Miss Mandeville could
+receive no visiters that day.</p>
+
+<p>But Fitzsimmons was not now to be put off. He had been shown into one of
+the parlours, and going to the writing-case on the centre-table, he took
+a sheet of paper, and addressed to her an epistle expressing in the most
+ardent terms his admiration and his love, and concluding with the hope
+that she would grant him an interview. There was not, of course, the
+slightest allusion to the events of the preceding evening. The letter
+was conceived with as much delicacy as warmth, and highly elevated the
+writer in the opinion of the reader. Still, she hesitated whether to see
+him or not. Her heart said yes&mdash;but her pride said no. And at length she
+most heroically determined to send him a written refusal, not only of
+the interview but of himself, that in case he should have dared to
+presume that the unfortunate scene at the ball could possibly have meant
+anything more than a jest, so preposterous an idea might be banished
+from his mind for ever.</p>
+
+<p>In this spirit she commenced several replies to his letter, but found it
+impossible to indite them in such terms as to satisfy herself; and,
+after wasting half a dozen sheets of paper with unsuccessful beginnings,
+she committed them all to the fire. Finally, she concluded that she
+could explain herself more effectually in a personal interview, whatever
+embarrassment the sight of him might occasion her. But not being able at
+this time to summon courage to meet him face to face, she sent down a
+note of three lines, informing Mr. Fitzsimmons that she would see him in
+the evening at seven o'clock.</p>
+
+<p>Several of Lucinda's friends called to talk about the ball, but she
+excused herself from seeing them, and passed the remainder of the day up
+stairs, in one long thought of Fitzsimmons, and in dwelling on the
+painful idea that the avowal of his sentiments had, in all probability,
+been elicited by her indiscretion of the preceding evening. "But," said
+she to herself, "I will steadily persist in declining his addresses; I
+will positively refuse him, for unless I do so, I never can recover my
+own self-respect. I will make this sacrifice to delicacy, and even then
+I shall never cease to regret my folly in having allowed myself to be
+carried so far in the thoughtless levity of the moment."</p>
+
+<p>Being thus firmly resolved on dismissing her admirer, it is not to be
+supposed that Lucinda could attach the smallest consequence to looking
+well that evening, during what she considered their final interview.
+Therefore we must, of course, attribute to accident the length of time
+she spent in considering which she should wear of two new silk dresses;
+one being of the colour denominated <i>ashes of roses</i>&mdash;the other of the
+tint designated as <i>monkey's sighs</i>. Though ashes of roses seemed
+emblematic of an extinguished flame, yet monkey's sighs bore more direct
+reference to a rejected lover, which, perhaps, was the reason that she
+finally decided on it. There was likewise a considerable demur about a
+canezou and a pelerine, but eventually the latter carried the day. And
+it was long, also, before she could determine on the most becoming style
+of arranging her hair, wavering between plaits and braids. At last the
+braids had it.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Fitzsimmons was announced a quarter before seven, his watch being
+undoubtedly too fast. Lucinda came down in ill-concealed perturbation,
+repeating to herself, as she descended the stairs, "Yes&mdash;my rejection of
+him shall be positive&mdash;and my adherence to it firm and inexorable."</p>
+
+<p>Whether it was so we will not presume to say, but this much is
+certain&mdash;that in a month from that time the delinquent gentlemen made
+the <i>amende honorable</i> by giving the ladies a most splendid ball, at
+which the <i>ci-devant</i> Miss Mandeville and Mr. Gordon Fitzsimmons made
+their first appearance in public as bride and bridegroom, to the great
+delight of Colonel Kingswood.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="THE_RED_BOX" id="THE_RED_BOX"></a>THE RED BOX,</h2>
+
+<h3>OR,</h3>
+
+<h2>SCENES AT THE GENERAL WAYNE.</h2>
+
+<h3>A TALE.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">&mdash;&mdash;"Just of the same piece<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Is every flatterer's spirit."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span><br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<p>In one of the most beautiful counties of Pennsylvania, and in the
+immediate vicinity of the Susquehanna, stood an old fashioned country
+tavern, known by the designation of the General Wayne. Of its landlord
+and his family, and of some little incidents that took place within its
+precincts about forty years ago, it is our purpose to relate a few
+particulars.</p>
+
+<p>The proprietor of the house and of the fine farm that surrounded it, was
+by birth a New-Englander; and having served in Washington's army during
+the whole of the revolutionary war, he was still distinguished by the
+title of Colonel Brigham. When, on the return of peace, he resumed his
+original occupation of farming, he concluded to settle on the genial
+soil of Pennsylvania, and removed thither with his wife, their little
+daughter, and an adopted child named Oliver, a fine boy whom they
+boasted of loving equally with their own Fanny; that he was equally
+indulged admitted not of a doubt.</p>
+
+<p>As Oliver advanced to manhood he took the chief charge of the farm, and
+Mrs. Brigham with great difficulty prevailed on her husband to set up an
+inn; partly to give himself more occupation, and partly because his
+boundless hospitality in entertaining gratuitously all strangers that
+came into the neighbourhood, had become rather too much of a tax.</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly, a range of stalls for horses was erected at a short
+distance from the house, which was beautified with a new porch, running
+all along the front, and furnished with green benches. A village artist
+(who was not only a painter, but a glazier also) was employed to
+contrive a sign, which it was expected would surpass all that had ever
+been seen in the country; it being neither Buck nor Fox, neither Black
+Horse, Green Tree, Conestoga Wagon, or any of those every-day things.</p>
+
+<p>The painter's ideas were committed to board in the shape of the
+landlord's old commander, General Anthony Wayne. This effigy was
+evidently designed for that of a human being, but the artist had begun
+the upper part on so large a scale, that there was little or no room for
+the body and limbs; the gallant general looking as if crushed down by
+the weight of his hat and head. He stood upon a narrow strip of
+verdigris green, with his two heels together, and his toes wonderfully
+turned out. The facings of his coat, and all his under-clothes, were of
+gold. He wielded in one hand an enormous sword&mdash;the other held out a
+pistol in the act of going off&mdash;and he leaned on a cannon from whence
+issued a flash of scarlet fire, and a cloud of sky-blue smoke.</p>
+
+<p>It is true, that when the sign came home, the colonel made many
+objections to it, declaring that gold breeches had never been worn in
+the continental army, and that no man ever stood still leaning on a gun
+at the moment it was discharged&mdash;neither did he think it by any means a
+good likeness of General Wayne. But Mrs. Brigham reminded her husband
+that there was no use in telling all this to everybody, and that it
+might suit some people's ideas of General Wayne&mdash;adding, that she never
+saw a sign that <i>was</i> a good likeness, except Timothy Grimshaw's White
+Lion, which looked exactly like Timothy himself.</p>
+
+<p>Oliver averred that the artist was certainly a liberal man, and had
+given them the full worth of their money, for beside the gilding, there
+was more paint on it than on any sign he had ever seen.</p>
+
+<p>Their neighbour, Tempy Walters, was, however, of opinion that they had
+been greatly overcharged, for that a man had painted her brother's
+cellar-door (which was considerably larger than this sign) for half the
+money. "To be sure," added Tempy, "there was no gold on the
+cellar-door&mdash;but it must have taken twice the paint."</p>
+
+<p>To be brief, the colonel dismissed the case by paying the artist rather
+more than he asked&mdash;telling him, also, that he should be glad to see him
+at his house whenever he chose to come, and that his visits should not
+cost him a cent.</p>
+
+<p>There never, perhaps, was a less profitable tavern than the General
+Wayne. The people of the neighbourhood were amazingly sober, and Mrs.
+Brigham allowed no tipplers to lounge about the bar-room or porch. The
+charges were so moderate as scarcely to cover the actual cost of the
+good things which were so profusely lavished on the table, and the
+family could not relinquish the habit of treating their guests as
+visiters and friends. Colonel Brigham always found some reason why such
+and such articles were not worth considering at all, and why such and
+such people could not afford to pay as well as he could afford to give
+them food and shelter. On soldiers, of course, he bestowed gratuitous
+entertainment, and was never more delighted than when he saw them
+coming. Pedlers and tinmen always took it&mdash;and emigrants on their way to
+the back settlements were invariably told to keep their money to help
+pay for their land.</p>
+
+<p>But though tavern-keeping did not realize the anticipations of Mrs.
+Brigham in operating as a check on the hospitality of her husband,
+still, as she said, it kept him about the house, and prevented him from
+heating and fatiguing himself in the fields, and from interfering with
+Oliver in the management of the farm&mdash;Oliver always doing best when left
+to himself. It must be understood that this youth, though virtually a
+dependant on the bounty of the Brighams, evinced as free and determined
+a spirit as if he had been literally "monarch of all he surveyed." He
+was active, industrious, frank to a fault, brave and generous; and would
+have fought at any moment in defence of any member of the family; or,
+indeed, for any member of any other family, if he conceived them to have
+been injured.</p>
+
+<p>Between Oliver and Fanny Brigham there was as yet no demonstration of
+any particular attachment. They had been brought up so much like brother
+and sister that they seemed not to know when to begin to fall in love.
+Fanny coquetted with the smart young men in the neighbourhood, and
+Oliver flirted with the pretty girls; not seeming to perceive that Fanny
+was the prettiest of all. The old people, however, had it very much at
+heart for a match to take place between the young people, as the best
+preventive to Oliver "going west" (a thing he sometimes talked of, in
+common with the generality of young farmers), and therefore they watched
+closely, and were always fancying that they detected symptoms of real
+<i>bona fide</i> love. If the young people quarrelled, it was better so than
+that they should feel nothing for each other but mutual indifference. If
+they appeared indifferent, it was supposed that Fanny was modestly
+veiling her genuine feelings, and that Oliver was disguising his to try
+the strength of hers. If they talked and laughed together, they were
+animated by each other's society. If they were silent, they had the
+matter under serious consideration. If Fanny received with complaisance
+the civilities of a rural beau, and if Oliver devoted his attention to a
+rural belle, it was only to excite each other's jealousy. On one thing,
+however, the old people were agreed&mdash;which was, that it was best not to
+hurry matters. In this they judged from their own experience; for Mrs.
+Brigham had lost her first lover (a man that had come to see her every
+Wednesday and Saturday for five years and a half) because her father
+prematurely asked him what his intentions were. And Colonel Brigham had
+been refused no less than nine times, in consequence of "popping the
+question" at his first interview&mdash;a way he had when he was young.</p>
+
+<p>So equal, however, was their love for the two children (as they still
+continued to call them), so anxious were they to keep Oliver always with
+them, and so impossible did it seem to them to think of any other young
+man as a son-in-law, that they would have sacrificed much to bring about
+so desirable a conclusion. But we have been loitering too long on the
+brink of our story, and it is time we were fairly afloat.</p>
+
+<p>One clear, mild autumnal evening, Colonel Brigham (who for himself never
+liked benches) was occupying a few chairs in his front porch, and
+reading several newspapers; looking occasionally towards a cider-press
+under a large tree, round which lay a mountain of apples that a horse
+and a black boy were engaged in grinding. The colonel was habited in
+striped homespun trousers, a dark brown waistcoat with silver buttons,
+and no coat&mdash;but he took great pride in always wearing a clean shirt of
+fine country-made linen. As relics of his former military capacity, he
+persisted in a three-cocked hat and a black stock. He had joined the
+army in the meridian of life, and he was now a large, stout, handsome
+old man, with a clear blue eye, and silver gray hair curling on each
+side of a broad high forehead. Suddenly a stage that passed the house
+twice a week, stopped before the door. The only passengers in it were an
+old gentleman who occupied the back seat, and four young ones that sat
+on the two others, all with their faces towards him.</p>
+
+<p>"Can we be accommodated at this inn for a few days?" said the elder
+stranger, looking out at the side. Colonel Brigham replied in the
+affirmative, adding that just then there were no guests in the house.
+"So much the better," said the old gentleman; "I like the appearance of
+this part of the country, and may as well be here for a little while as
+any where else." And making a sign to the young ones, they all four
+scrambled out of the stage with such eagerness as nearly to fall over
+each other&mdash;and every one took a part in assisting him down the steps,
+two holding him by the hands, and two by the elbows. But as soon as his
+feet touched the ground, he shook them all off as if scattering them to
+the four winds. He was a small slender old man, but of a florid
+complexion, and showed no indication of infirm health, but the excessive
+care that he took of himself&mdash;being enveloped in a great coat, over it a
+fur tippet round his neck, and his hat was tied down with a silk
+handkerchief.</p>
+
+<p>"Sir, you are welcome to the General Wayne," said Colonel Brigham,
+"though I cannot say much for the sign. That was not the way brave
+Anthony looked at Stony Point. May I ask the favour of your name?"</p>
+
+<p>The stranger looked at first as if unaccustomed to this question, and
+unwilling to answer it. However, after a pause, he deigned to designate
+himself as Mr. Culpepper, and slightly mentioned the four young men as
+his nephews, the Mr. Lambleys. There was a family likeness throughout
+the brothers. They were all tall and slender&mdash;all had the same
+fawn-coloured hair, the same cheeks of a dull pink, the same smiling
+mouths habitually turned up at the corners, and faces that looked as if
+all expression had been subdued out of them, except that their
+greenish-gray eyes had the earnest intent look, that is generally found
+in those of dumb people.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Culpepper was conducted into a parlour, where (though the evening
+was far from cold) he expressed his satisfaction at finding a fire. He
+deposited on the broad mantel-piece a small red morocco box which he had
+carried under his arm, and while his nephews (who had all been to see
+the baggage deposited) were engaged in disrobing him of his extra
+habiliments, he addressed himself to Colonel Brigham, whom he seemed to
+regard with particular complaisance.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, landlord," said he; "you are, perhaps, surprised at my stopping
+here?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not at all," said the colonel.</p>
+
+<p>"The truth is," pursued Mr. Culpepper, "I am travelling for my health,
+and therefore I am taking cross-roads, and stopping at out of the way
+places. For there is no health to be got by staying in cities, and
+putting up at crowded hotels, and accepting invitations to
+dinner-parties and tea-parties, or in doing anything else that is called
+fashionable."</p>
+
+<p>"Give me your hand, sir," said Colonel Brigham; "you are a man after my
+own heart!"</p>
+
+<p>The four Mr. Lambleys stared at the landlord's temerity, and opened
+their eyes still wider when they saw it taken perfectly well, and that
+their uncle actually shook hands with the innkeeper. This emboldened
+them to murmur something in chorus about their all disliking fashion.</p>
+
+<p>"And pray," said old Culpepper, "why should you do that? 'Tis just as
+natural for young people to like folly, as it is for old people to be
+tired of it. And I am certain you have never seen so much of fashion as
+to be surfeited with it already."</p>
+
+<p>The nephews respectfully assented.</p>
+
+<p>It had already come to the knowledge of Mrs. Brigham (who was busily
+occupied up stairs in filling with new feathers some pillow-ticks which
+Fanny was making) that a party of distinguished strangers had arrived.
+"Fanny, Fanny," she exclaimed, opening the door of the adjoining room,
+in which Fanny was seated at her sewing, "there are great people below
+stairs. Get fixed in a moment, and go down and speak to them. I am glad
+your father has had sense enough to take them into the front parlour."</p>
+
+<p>"But, mother," replied Fanny, "I saw them from the window when they got
+out of the stage. They are all men people, and I know I shall be
+ashamed, as they are quite strange to me, and I suppose are very great
+gentlemen. Won't it suit better for you to go?"</p>
+
+<p>"Don't you see how the feathers are all over me?" said Mrs. Brigham: "it
+will take me an hour to get them well picked off, and myself washed and
+dressed. Get fixed at once, and go down and let the strangers see that
+the women of the house have proper manners. If you think you'll feel
+better with something in your hands, make some milk punch, and take it
+in to them."</p>
+
+<p>Fanny's habitual neatness precluded any real necessity for an alteration
+in her dress&mdash;but still she thought it expedient to put on a new glossy
+blue gingham gown, and a clean muslin collar with a nicely plaited frill
+round it. This dress would have been very well, but that Fanny, in her
+desire to appear to great advantage, added a long sash of red and green
+plaid riband, and a large white satin bow deposited in the curve of her
+comb. Then, having turned herself round three or four times before the
+glass, to ascertain the effect, she descended the stairs, and in the
+entry met Oliver, who had just come in at the front door, and had seen
+from the barn-yard the arrival of the guests.</p>
+
+<p>"Fanny," said Oliver, "why have you put on that great white top-knot? It
+makes you look like one of the cockatoos in the Philadelphia Museum. Let
+me take it off."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! Oliver, Oliver!" exclaimed Fanny, putting her hands to her head,
+"how you have spoiled my hair!"</p>
+
+<p>"And this long sash streaming out at one side," pursued Oliver, "how
+ridiculous it looks!" And he dexterously twitched it off, saying,
+"There, take these fly-traps up stairs&mdash;they only disfigure you. I
+thought so the other day when you wore them at Mary Shortstitch's sewing
+frolic. You are much better without them."</p>
+
+<p>"But I am <i>not</i>," said Fanny, angrily snatching them from his hand;
+"look how you've crumpled them up! Instead of finding fault with me for
+wishing to look respectfully to the strangers, you had best go and make
+yourself fit to be seen."</p>
+
+<p>"I always am fit to be seen," replied Oliver, "and you know very well
+that I always do put myself in order as soon as I have done my work. But
+as for dressing up in any remarkable finery on account of four or five
+strange men, it is not in my line to do so. If, indeed, there were some
+smart girls along, it would be a different thing: but it is not my way
+to show too much respect to any man."</p>
+
+<p>"I believe you, indeed," remarked Fanny.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, well," said Oliver, "your hair is pretty enough of itself&mdash;and
+you fix it so nicely that it wants no top-knot to set it off; and this
+party-coloured sash only spoils the look of your waist. I hate to see
+you make a fool of yourself."</p>
+
+<p>Fanny tossed her head in affected disdain, but she smiled as she ran up
+stairs to put away the offending ribands. She found her mother leaning
+down over the banisters, and looking very happy at Oliver's desire that
+Fanny should not make a fool of herself.</p>
+
+<p>Fanny, having prepared the milk-punch in the best possible manner,
+filled half a dozen tumblers with it, grating a profusion of nutmeg over
+each, and then arranged them on a small waiter. When she entered the
+parlour with it, Mr. Culpepper, who called himself a confirmed invalid,
+was engaged in giving her father a particular description of all his
+ailments; and the four nephews were listening with an air of intense
+interest, as if it was the first they had heard of them.</p>
+
+<p>"This is my daughter, Fanny," said Colonel Brigham, and Mr. Culpepper
+stopped short in his narrative, and his nephews all turned their eyes to
+look at her. When she handed the milk-punch the old gentleman declined
+it, alleging that the state of his health did not permit him to taste
+any sort of liquor. His nephews were going to follow his example, till
+he said to them peremptorily&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Take it&mdash;there is nothing the matter with any of you. If there is, say
+so."</p>
+
+<p>The Mr. Lambleys all rose to receive their tumblers, their uncle having
+made them a sign to that purpose, and Fanny thought herself treated with
+great respect, and curtsied, blushingly, to every one as he set down his
+glass.</p>
+
+<p>"From such a Hebe it is difficult to refuse nectar," said the old
+gentleman, gallantly.</p>
+
+<p>"A Hebe, indeed!" echoed the nephews.</p>
+
+<p>The uncle frowned at them, and they all looked foolish&mdash;even more so
+than usual.</p>
+
+<p>"Now, Fanny, my dear," said her father, "you may go out, and send in
+Oliver."</p>
+
+<p>"Mother," said Fanny, as she joined Mrs. Brigham in the pantry, "I like
+these strangers quite well. They were very polite indeed&mdash;but they
+called me <i>Phebe</i>&mdash;I wonder why?"</p>
+
+<p>When Oliver made his appearance, Colonel Brigham introduced him as "a
+boy he had raised, and who was just the same as a son to him." Mr.
+Culpepper surveyed Oliver from head to foot, saying, "Upon my word&mdash;a
+fine-looking youth! Straight&mdash;athletic&mdash;brown and ruddy&mdash;dark hair and
+eyes&mdash;some meaning in his face. See, young men&mdash;there's a pattern for
+you."</p>
+
+<p>The four Mr. Lambleys exchanged looks, and tried in vain to conceal
+their inclination to laugh.</p>
+
+<p>"Behave yourselves," said the uncle, in a stern voice.</p>
+
+<p>The nephews behaved.</p>
+
+<p>The supper table was now set, and Mr. Culpepper had become so gracious
+with his landlord, as to propose that he and his nephews should eat with
+the family during their stay. "That is what my guests always do," said
+Colonel Brigham; "and then we can see that all is right, and that they
+are well served."</p>
+
+<p>When supper came in, Mr. Culpepper declined leaving the fire-side; and
+having previously had some cocoa brought from one of his travelling
+boxes, and prepared according to his own directions, he commenced his
+repast on a small round table or stand, that was placed beside him,
+declaring that his evening meal never consisted of anything more than a
+little cocoa, sago, or arrow-root.</p>
+
+<p>But after taking a survey of the variety of nice-looking things that
+were profusely spread on the supper-table, the old gentleman so far
+broke through his rule, as to say he would try a cup of tea and a rusk.
+When Mrs. Brigham had poured it out, the four nephews, who at their
+uncle's sign manual had just taken their seats at the table, all started
+up at once to hand him his cup, though there was a black boy in
+attendance. The business was finally adjusted by one of the Mr. Lambleys
+taking the tea-cup, one the cream-jug, one the sugar-dish, and one the
+plate of rusk; and he of the cup was kept going all the time, first to
+have more water put into it, then more tea, then more water, and then
+more tea again. The invalid next concluded to try a cup of coffee, to
+counteract, as he said, any bad effects that might arise from the tea;
+and he ventured, also, on some well-buttered buckwheat cake and honey.
+He was afterwards emboldened to attempt some stewed chicken and milk
+toast, and finally finished with preserved peaches and cream.</p>
+
+<p>All these articles were carried to him by his nephews, jumping up and
+running with an <i>empressement</i>, that excited the amazement of Mrs.
+Brigham, the pity of Fanny, the smiles of her father, and the
+indignation of Oliver.</p>
+
+<p>The females retired with the supper equipage; and finding that Colonel
+Brigham had served in the war of independence, Mr. Culpepper engaged him
+in recounting some reminiscences of those eventful times; for the
+veteran had seen and known much that was well worth hearing.</p>
+
+<p>The Mr. Lambleys, unaccustomed to feel or to affect an interest in
+anything that was not said or done by their uncle, looked very weary,
+and at last became palpably sleepy. They all sat in full view, and
+within reach of old Culpepper, who, whenever he perceived them to nod,
+or to show any other indication of drowsiness, poked at them with his
+cane, so as effectually to rouse them for a time, causing them to start
+forward, and set their faces to a smile, stretching up their eyes to
+keep them wide open.</p>
+
+<p>At last the colonel, who was much amused by the absurdity of the scene,
+came to a full pause. "Go on," said Culpepper, "never mind their
+nodding. I'll see that they do not go to sleep."</p>
+
+<p>The colonel, out of compassion to the young men, shortened his story as
+much as possible, and finally, on Mrs. Brigham sending in the black boy
+with bed-candles, Mr. Culpepper looked at his watch, and rose from his
+chair. The nephews were all on their feet in a moment. One tied the old
+man's fur tippet round his neck, to prevent his taking cold in ascending
+the staircase, another put on his hat for him, and the two others
+contended for the happiness of carrying his cloak. "What are you about?"
+said Mr. Culpepper; "do not you see my greatcoat there on the chair?
+Take that, one of you."</p>
+
+<p>He bade good night, and the procession began to move, headed by Peter,
+the black boy, lighting them up stairs.</p>
+
+<p>As soon as they were entirely out of hearing, Colonel Brigham, who had
+with difficulty restrained himself, broke out into a laugh, but Oliver
+traversed the room indignantly.</p>
+
+<p>"I have no patience," said he, "with such fellows. To think that
+full-grown men&mdash;men that have hands to work and get their own living,
+should humble themselves to the dust, and submit to be treated as
+lacqueys by an old uncle (or, indeed, by anybody), merely because he
+happens to be rich, and they expect to get his money when he sees proper
+to die, which may not be these twenty years, for it is plain that
+nothing ails him. 'I'd rather be a dog and bay the moon,' as I once
+heard an actor say in the Philadelphia play-house. Now I talk of
+Philadelphia; I have engaged all our next barley to Wortley &amp; Hopkins.
+They pay better than Maltman &amp; Co. But these Lambleys, Sheepleys
+rather&mdash;I saw them from the barn, handing the old fellow out of the
+stage. I almost expected to see them lift his feet for him; I was glad
+he scattered them all as soon as he had got down the steps. I dare say
+if he rides on horseback, they all four run beside him and hold him on
+his horse. Now I talk of horses, I've concluded to keep the two bay
+colts, and raise them myself. Tom Martingale shall not have them for the
+price he offers. To see how these chaps fetch and carry, and rise up and
+sit down, just at that old fellow's beck. It would be harder work for me
+than following the plough from sunrise to sunset, were I obliged to do
+so. Now I talk of ploughing; I bought another yoke of oxen yesterday,
+and hired a Dutchman. I shall put the five-acre field in corn. That old
+villain! you may see by his eye that he is despising them all the time.
+Why should not he? ninnies as they are. I wonder where they all came
+from? I do not believe they are Americans."</p>
+
+<p>"And yet," said Colonel Brigham, "they do not speak like Englishmen, and
+I am sure they are neither Scotch nor Irish."</p>
+
+<p>"I hear them all pacing about up stairs in the old fellow's room," said
+Oliver; "think of four men putting one man to bed, or of any one man
+allowing four to do it. But 'their souls are subdued to what they work
+in,' as I heard another play-actor say. By-the-bye, the old rogue has
+forgotten his red box, and left it on the mantel-piece. I wonder what is
+in it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe it is full of gold money," said Mrs. Brigham, who had just
+entered the room with Fanny; the daughter proceeding to put back the
+chairs, while the mother swept up the hearth.</p>
+
+<p>"Bank notes rather," said Oliver.</p>
+
+<p>"Jewels, I think," said Fanny.</p>
+
+<p>"Deeds of property, perhaps," said the colonel.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, well," said Mrs. Brigham, "'tis time for all good people to be in
+bed, so we'll let the strangers and their box rest till to-morrow."</p>
+
+<p>"I think," observed the colonel, "the box had best be carried up to
+them. Take it, Oliver."</p>
+
+<p>"I just heard the young men leave their uncle's room to go to their
+own," said Mrs. Brigham. "May be it won't do to disturb him, now he's in
+bed."</p>
+
+<p>"Then let it be taken to the young men," returned the colonel. "Where
+have you put them?"</p>
+
+<p>"I told Peter to show them all to the four-bedded room, at the other end
+of the house," answered Mrs. Brigham, "as they seemed to be alike in
+everything. I supposed they always prefer sleeping in the same place.
+All the four beds have exactly the same blue and white coverlets."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Oliver, "I'll take them the box as I pass their room on the
+way to my own. But I must go first to the stable, and see how Sorrel's
+foot is; I cannot be satisfied if I do not look at it once more
+to-night."</p>
+
+<p>The other members of the family now retired to their apartments, and
+Oliver took a lantern and went to the stable, to inspect again the state
+of the disabled horse.</p>
+
+<p>When the four Lambleys waited on their uncle out of the parlour, they
+all perceived that the old gentleman had for the first time forgotten to
+take the red morocco box with him, and they all exchanged glances to
+this effect, being used to each other's signs. After they had gone
+through the tedious process of seeing him to bed, and carefully folding
+up his numerous garments, they held a consultation in their own room;
+and, accustomed to acting in concert, they concluded that as soon as the
+house was quiet, they would all go down stairs together and bring up the
+red box. Fortunately for them, they knew Mr. Culpepper to be a sound
+sleeper (notwithstanding his constant assertions to the contrary), and
+that he always went to sleep as soon as he was in bed.</p>
+
+<p>When they came into the parlour, where all was now dark and silent, they
+set their candle on the table, and taking down the red box, one of them
+said, "At last we have an opportunity of satisfying ourselves."</p>
+
+<p>"Tis the first time," said another, "that the box has ever been out of
+the old villain's possession. How strange that he should not have missed
+it! He must have had something in his head more than usual to-night."</p>
+
+<p>"He even forgot to take his lozenges before he went to bed," said the
+third.</p>
+
+<p>"James," said the fourth, "did you slip the little key out of his under
+waistcoat pocket, as I signed to you to do while you were folding it
+up?"</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure I did," replied James, "here it is," (dangling it by the red
+ribbon that was tied to it). "But do <i>you</i> open the box, George, for I
+am afraid."</p>
+
+<p>"Give me the key, then," said George, "for we have no time to lose."</p>
+
+<p>"What a lucky chance!" said Richard Lambley.</p>
+
+<p>"Now," said William, "we shall learn what we have been longing to
+discover for the last five years."</p>
+
+<p>The key was turned, and the box opened. A folded parchment lay within
+it, tied round with red tape. Each of the brothers simultaneously put
+out a hand to grasp it.</p>
+
+<p>"One at a time," said the elder, taking it out and opening it; "just as
+we suspected. It is the old fellow's will, regularly drawn up, signed
+and witnessed."</p>
+
+<p>They looked over each other's shoulders in intense anxiety, while the
+eldest of the brothers, in a low voice, ran over the contents of the
+parchment. There was a unanimous exclamation of surprise that amounted
+almost to horror, when, after the usual preamble, they came to some
+explicit words by which the testator devoted the whole of his property
+to the endowment of a hospital for idiots. They had proceeded thus far,
+when they were startled by the entrance of Oliver, who saw in a moment
+in what manner they were all engaged. They hastily folded up the will,
+and replaced it in the box, of which they directly turned the key,
+looking very much disconcerted.</p>
+
+<p>"I was coming," said Oliver, setting down his lantern, "to get that box
+and take it to you, that you might keep it safe for your uncle till
+morning. I have been detained at the stable longer than I expected,
+doing something for a lame horse."</p>
+
+<p>There was a whispering among the Lambleys.</p>
+
+<p>"Very well," said one of them to Oliver, "the box can stand on the
+mantel-piece till morning, and then when my uncle comes down he can get
+it for himself. He must not be disturbed with it to-night; and no doubt
+it will be safe enough here."</p>
+
+<p>The truth was, they were all justly impressed with the persuasion, that
+if Mr. Culpepper knew the box to have been all night in their room, he
+would believe, as a thing of course, that they had opened it by some
+means, and examined its contents. Servility and integrity rarely go
+together.</p>
+
+<p>They whispered again, and each advanced towards Oliver, holding out a
+dollar.</p>
+
+<p>"What is this for?" said Oliver, drawing back.</p>
+
+<p>"We do not wish you," said one of the Lambleys, "to mention to any one
+that you found us examining this box."</p>
+
+<p>"Why should I mention it?" replied Oliver; "do you suppose I tell
+everything I see and hear? But what is that money for?"</p>
+
+<p>"For you," said the Lambleys.</p>
+
+<p>"What am I to do for it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Keep our secret."</p>
+
+<p>Oliver started back, coloured to his temples, contracted his brows, and
+clenching his hands, said, "I think I could beat you all four. I am sure
+of it. I could knock every one of you down, and keep you there, one
+after another. And I will; too, if you don't put up that money this
+instant."</p>
+
+<p>The Lambleys quickly returned the dollars to their pockets, murmuring an
+apology; and Oliver paced the room in great agitation, saying, "I'll go
+west. I'll go to the backest of the back woods; nobody there will
+affront me with money."</p>
+
+<p>The Lambleys hastily replaced the red box on the mantel-piece, and
+taking an opportunity when Oliver, as he walked up and down, was at the
+far end of the room, with his back to them, they all stole past him, and
+glided up stairs, to talk over the discovery of the night.</p>
+
+<p>Having no longer the same motive for submitting to the iron rule of
+their uncle, they were eager to be emancipated from his tyranny, and
+they spent several hours in canvassing the manner in which this was to
+be effected. They had not candour enough to acknowledge that they had
+inspected the will, nor courage enough to break out into open rebellion;
+still, knowing what they now did, they feared that it would be
+impossible for them to persevere in their usual assiduities to Mr.
+Culpepper, for whom they could find no term that seemed sufficiently
+opprobrious.</p>
+
+<p>Habit is second nature. The morning found them, as usual, in their
+uncle's room to assist at his toilet, with all their accustomed
+submission. The one that had purloined the key of the red box, took care
+to contrive an opportunity of slipping it unperceived into the pocket,
+as he unfolded and handed Mr. Culpepper his under waistcoat.</p>
+
+<p>After he was shaved and dressed, and ready to go down stairs, the old
+gentleman suddenly missed the red box, and exclaimed, "Why, where is my
+box? What has gone with it? Who has taken it?"</p>
+
+<p>The nephews had all turned their faces to the windows, and were
+steadfastly engaged in observing the pigeons that were walking about the
+roof of the porch.</p>
+
+<p>"Where's my red box, I say?" vociferated the old man. "Go and see if I
+left it down stairs last night. A thing impossible, though.
+No&mdash;stay&mdash;I'll not trust one of you. I'll go down myself."</p>
+
+<p>He then actually <i>ran</i> down stairs, and on entering the parlour where
+the breakfast table was already set, and the family all assembled, he
+espied the red box standing quietly on the mantel-piece.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" he ejaculated, "there it is. I feared I had lost it." And he felt
+in his waistcoat pocket to ascertain if the key was safe.</p>
+
+<p>To Mrs. Brigham's inquiry, of "how he had rested," Mr. Culpepper replied
+in a melancholy tone, that he had not slept a wink the whole night. On
+her asking if anything had disturbed him, he replied, "Nothing whatever;
+nothing but the usual restlessness of ill health." And he seemed almost
+offended, when she suggested the possibility of being asleep without
+knowing it.</p>
+
+<p>Though he assured the family, when he sat down, that he had not the
+slightest appetite, the bowl of sago which had been prepared by his
+orders was soon pushed aside, and his breakfast became the counterpart
+of his supper the night before.</p>
+
+<p>In taking their seats, the Lambleys, instead of their customary amicable
+contention, as to which of them should sit next their uncle, now, in the
+awkwardness of their embarrassment, all got to the other side of the
+table, and ranged themselves opposite to him in a row. Mr. Culpepper
+looked surprised, and invited Fanny and Oliver to place themselves
+beside him.</p>
+
+<p>The four young men were very irregular and inconsistent in their
+behaviour. As often as their uncle signified any of his numerous wants,
+their habitual sycophancy caused them to start forward to wait on him;
+but their recent disappointment with regard to the disposal of his
+wealth, and their secret consciousness of the illicit means they had
+made use of to discover the tenor of his will, rendered them unable to
+watch his countenance, and anticipate his demands by keeping their eyes
+on his face as heretofore.</p>
+
+<p>Their uncle saw that they were all in a strange way, and that something
+unusual was possessing them, and frequently in the midst of his talk
+with Colonel Brigham, he stopped to look at them and wonder. Something
+having reminded him of a certain ridiculous anecdote, he related it to
+the great amusement of the Brighams, who heard it for the first time.
+Mr. Culpepper, on looking over at his nephews, perceived that instead of
+laughing in concert (as they always did at this his favourite joke),
+they all appeared <i>distrait</i>, and as if they had not paid the slightest
+attention to it. He bent forward across the table, and fixing his keen
+eyes upon them, said, with a scrutinizing look, and in an under tone,
+"you have been reading my will."</p>
+
+<p>The poor Lambleys all laid down their knives and forks, turned pale, and
+nearly fell back in their chairs.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't expose yourselves farther," whispered Culpepper, leaning across
+to them, "I know you all;" and then turning to Colonel Brigham, he with
+much <i>sang froid</i> pursued the conversation.</p>
+
+<p>Oliver (who alone of the family understood what was passing) began to
+feel much compassion for the poor young men. The scene became very
+painful to him, and finding that his aversion to the uncle was
+increasing almost beyond concealment, he hastily finished his coffee,
+and quitted the room.</p>
+
+<p>When breakfast was over, and they were all leaving the table, old
+Culpepper said aside to his nephews: "In founding a hospital for idiots,
+I still give you an opportunity of benefiting by my bounty."</p>
+
+<p>They reddened, and were about to quit the parlour, when their uncle,
+taking a chair himself, said to them: "Sit down, all of you." They
+mechanically obeyed, looking as if they were about to receive sentence
+of death. Fanny began to feel frightened, and glided out of the room;
+her mother having just followed the departure of the breakfast things.
+Colonel Brigham rose also to go, when Mr. Culpepper stopped him, saying:
+"Remain, my good friend. Stay and hear my explanation of some things
+that must have excited your curiosity."</p>
+
+<p>He then took down the red box. The nephews looked at each other, and a
+sort of whisper ran along the line, which ended in their all jumping up
+together, and bolting out at the door.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Culpepper gazed after them awhile, and then turned towards Colonel
+Brigham, with a sardonic laugh on his face. "Well, well," said he, "they
+are right. It is refreshing to see them for once acting naturally. It
+was, perhaps, expecting too much, even of them, to suppose they would
+sit still and listen to all I was likely to say, for they know me well.
+Yet, if they had not read my will, they would not have dared to quit the
+room when I ordered them to remain."</p>
+
+<p>He then proceeded to relate that he was a native of Quebec, where, in
+early life, he had long been engaged in a very profitable commercial
+business, and had been left a widower at the age of forty. A few years
+afterwards, he married again. His second wife was a lady of large
+fortune, which she made over to him, on condition that he should take
+her family name of Culpepper. The Mr. Lambleys were the nephews of his
+wife, being the children of her younger sister. On the death of their
+parents, he was induced by her to give them a home in his house.</p>
+
+<p>The four Lambleys had very little property of their own, their father
+having dissipated nearly all that he had acquired by his marriage. They
+had been educated for professions, in which it was soon found that they
+had neither the ability nor the perseverance to succeed; their whole
+souls seeming concentrated to one point, that of gaining the favour of
+their uncle (who lost his second wife a few years after their marriage),
+and with this object they vied with each other in a course of
+unremitting and untiring servilities, foolishly supposing it the only
+way to accomplish their aim of eventually becoming his heirs.</p>
+
+<p>All that they gained beyond the payment of their current expenses, was
+Mr. Culpepper's unqualified contempt. He made a secret resolution to
+revenge himself on their duplicity, and to disappoint their mercenary
+views by playing them a trick at the last, and he had a will drawn up,
+in which he devised his whole property to the establishment of a
+hospital. This will he always carried about with him in the red morocco
+box.</p>
+
+<p>He had come to the United States on a tour for the benefit of his
+health, and also to satisfy himself as to the truth of all he had heard
+respecting the unparalleled improvement of the country since it had
+thrown off the yoke which his fellow-subjects of Canada were still
+satisfied to wear.</p>
+
+<p>"And now," continued Mr. Culpepper to his landlord, "you have not seen
+all that is in the red box. I know not by what presentiment I am
+impelled; but, short as our acquaintance has been, I cannot resist an
+unaccountable inclination to speak more openly of my private affairs to
+you, Colonel Brigham, than to any person I have ever met with. I feel
+persuaded that I shall find no cause to regret having done so. It is a
+long time since I have had any one near me to whom I could talk
+confidentially." And he added, with a sigh: "I fear that I may say with
+Shakspeare's Richard, 'there is no creature loves me.'"</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Culpepper then opened the red box, and took out from beneath the
+will and several other documents that lay under it, a folded paper,
+which he held in his hand for some moments in silence. He then gave it
+to Colonel Brigham, saying, "Do you open it; I cannot. It is more than
+twenty years since I have seen it."</p>
+
+<p>The Colonel unfolded the paper. It contained a small miniature of a
+beautiful young lady, in a rich but old-fashioned dress of blue satin,
+with lace cuffs and stomacher, her hair being drest very high, and
+ornamented with a string of pearls, arranged in festoons. Colonel
+Brigham looked at the miniature, and exclaimed in a voice of
+astonishment: "This is the likeness of Oliver's mother!"</p>
+
+<p>"Oliver's mother!" ejaculated Mr. Culpepper, in equal amazement;
+"Oliver&mdash;what, the young man that lives with you&mdash;that you call your
+adopted son? This is the miniature of my daughter, Elizabeth Osborne."</p>
+
+<p>"Then," replied the Colonel, "your daughter was Oliver's mother."</p>
+
+<p>"Where is she?" exclaimed Culpepper, wildly. "Is she alive, after
+all?&mdash;When I heard of her death I believed it.&mdash;Do you know where she
+is?"</p>
+
+<p>"She is dead," said Colonel Brigham, passing his hand over his eyes.&mdash;"I
+saw her die;&mdash;I was at her funeral.&mdash;I can bring you proof enough that
+this is the likeness of Oliver's mother.&mdash;Shall I tell my wife of this
+discovery?"</p>
+
+<p>"You may tell it to your whole family," answered Mr. Culpepper, throwing
+himself back in his chair.&mdash;"You are all concerned in it.&mdash;Why, indeed,
+should it be a secret?"</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Brigham left the room, and shortly after returned, conducting
+his wife, who was much flurried, and carried an enormously large
+pocket-book, worked in queen-stitch with coloured crewels. She was
+followed by Fanny, looking very pale, and bringing with her some sewing,
+by way of "having something in her hands." They found Mr. Culpepper with
+his face covered, and evidently in great agitation.</p>
+
+<p>"See," said Mrs. Brigham, sitting down before him, and untying the red
+worsted strings of the pocket-book, "here's the very fellow to that
+likeness." She then took out an exact copy of the miniature. There were
+also some letters that had passed between the father and mother of
+Oliver, previous to their marriage.</p>
+
+<p>"I keep these things in my best pocket-book," continued Mrs. Brigham;
+"husband gave them into my keeping, and when Oliver is twenty-one (which
+will not be till next spring), they are all to go to him."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Culpepper gazed awhile at the miniature, and then turned over the
+letters with a trembling hand. "I see," said he, "that there is no flaw
+in the evidence. This is, indeed, a copy of my daughter's miniature.
+These letters I have no desire to read, for, of course, they refer to
+the plot that was in train for deceiving me. And they thought they had
+well succeeded. But their punishment soon came, in a life of privation
+and suffering, and in an early death to both. May such be the end of all
+stolen marriages!&mdash;Still, she was my daughter; my only child.&mdash;So much
+the worse; she should not have left me for a stranger."</p>
+
+<p>It was painful and revolting to the kind-hearted Brighams to witness the
+conflict between the vindictive spirit of this unamiable old man, and
+the tardy rekindling of his parental feelings. In a few moments he made
+an effort to speak with connexion and composure, and related the
+following particulars. After the unsuccessful attack on Quebec, by the
+gallant and ill-fated Montgomery, a young American officer, who had been
+severely wounded in the conflict, was brought into the city, and
+received the most kind and careful attendance from the family of a
+gentleman who had once been intimately acquainted with his father. The
+family who thus extended their hospitality to a suffering enemy, were
+the next-door neighbours of Mr. Culpepper, whose name was then Osborne.
+Captain Dalzel was a handsome and accomplished young man, and his case
+excited much interest among the ladies of Quebec, and in none more than
+in Miss Osborne, who, from her intimacy in the house at which he was
+staying, had frequent opportunities of seeing him during his long
+convalescence. A mutual attachment was the consequence, and it was kept
+a profound secret from her father, who had in view for her a marriage
+with a Canadian gentleman of wealth and consequence.</p>
+
+<p>When Captain Dalzel was about to return home on being exchanged, he
+prevailed on Miss Osborne to consent to a secret marriage. Mr. Culpepper
+acknowledged that on discovering it he literally turned his daughter out
+of doors, and sent back unopened a letter which she wrote to him from
+Montreal. From that time he never suffered her name to be mentioned in
+his presence; and he was almost tempted to consign to the flames a
+miniature of her, that had been painted for him by an English artist,
+then resident in Quebec. But a revulsion of feeling so far prevailed, as
+to prevent him from thus destroying the resemblance of his only child;
+and he put away the miniature with a firm resolution never to look at it
+again. Five years afterwards he heard accidentally of Captain Dalzel's
+having fallen in battle, and that Elizabeth had survived him but a few
+days.</p>
+
+<p>"And how did you feel when you heard this?" asked Colonel Brigham.</p>
+
+<p>"Feel," replied Culpepper, fiercely; "I felt that she deserved her fate,
+for having deceived her father, and taken a rebel for her husband, and
+an enemy's country for her dwelling-place."</p>
+
+<p>Fanny shuddered at the bitter and implacable tone in which these words
+were uttered, and the Brighams were convinced that, with such a parent,
+Miss Osborne's home could at no time have been a happy one.</p>
+
+<p>"But," continued old Culpepper, after a pause, "I will confess, that
+since I have been in your country, I have felt some 'compunctious
+visitings;' and I had determined not to leave the States without making
+some inquiry as to my daughter having left children."</p>
+
+<p>"She had only Oliver," replied Colonel Brigham.</p>
+
+<p>"The boy's features have no resemblance to those of his mother," said
+Culpepper; "still there is something in his look that at once
+prepossessed me in his favour. But tell me all that you know about his
+parents?"</p>
+
+<p>The colonel's narrative implied, that he had been well acquainted with
+Captain Dalzel, who was of the Virginia line, and who was mortally
+wounded at Yorktown, where he died two days after the surrender;
+consigning to the care of Colonel Brigham a miniature of his wife, which
+he said was procured before his marriage from an artist whom he had
+induced to copy privately one that he was painting for the young lady's
+father.</p>
+
+<p>The war being now considered as ended by the capture of Cornwallis and
+his army, Colonel Brigham repaired to Philadelphia, where her husband
+had informed him that Mrs. Dalzel was living in retired lodgings. He
+found that the melancholy news of Captain Dalzel's fate had already
+reached her; and it had caused the rupture of a blood-vessel, which was
+hurrying her immediately to the grave. She was unable to speak, but she
+pointed to her child (then about four years old), who was sobbing at her
+pillow. The colonel, deeply moved, assured her that he would carry the
+boy home with him to his wife, and that while either of them lived, he
+should never want a parent. A gleam of joy lighted up the languid eyes
+of Mrs. Dalzel, and they closed to open in this world no more.</p>
+
+<p>The anguish evinced by Mr. Culpepper at this part of the narrative, was
+such as to draw tears from Mrs. Brigham and Fanny. The colonel dwelt no
+further on the death of Mrs. Dalzel, but concluded his story in as few
+words as possible, saying that he carried the child home with him; that
+his wife received him gladly; and that not one of the relations of
+Captain Dalzel (and he had none that were of near affinity) ever came
+forward to dispute with him the charge of the boy. Captain Dalzel, he
+knew, had possessed no other fortune than his commission.</p>
+
+<p>When Colonel Brigham had finished his tale,&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Mr. Culpepper, making a strong effort to recover his
+composure, "perhaps I treated my daughter too severely, in continuing to
+cherish so deep a resentment against her. But why did she provoke me to
+it? However, the past can never be recalled. I must endeavour to make
+her son behave better to me. Where is Oliver? Let me see him
+immediately."</p>
+
+<p>He had scarcely spoken when Oliver entered the porch, accompanied by the
+four Lambleys, whom he had met strolling about lonely and uncomfortable,
+and he kindly offered to show them round the farm, not knowing what
+better he could do for them. They had just completed their tour; and
+though it was a beautiful farm, and in fine order, the Lambleys had
+walked over it without observing anything, being all the time engaged in
+inveighing bitterly to Oliver against their uncle. Oliver regarded them
+as so many Sinbads ridden by the Old Man of the Sea, and advised them to
+throw him off forthwith.</p>
+
+<p>"Come in, Oliver," said Colonel Brigham; "you are wanted here."</p>
+
+<p>Oliver entered the parlour, and the Lambleys remained in the porch and
+looked in at the windows, curious to know what was going on.</p>
+
+<p>"Come in, all of you," said Mr. Culpepper.</p>
+
+<p>They mechanically obeyed his summons, and entered the parlour.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Culpepper then took Oliver by the hand, and said to him in a voice
+tremulous with emotion, "Young man, in me you behold your grandfather."</p>
+
+<p>Oliver changed colour, and started back, and Mr. Culpepper was deeply
+chagrined to see that this announcement gave him anything but pleasure.
+The story was briefly explained to him, and Mr. Culpepper added, "From
+this moment you may consider yourself as belonging to me. I like
+you&mdash;and I will leave my money to you rather than to found a hospital."</p>
+
+<p>"You had better leave it to these poor fellows, that have been trying
+for it so long," said Oliver, bluntly.</p>
+
+<p>The nephews all regarded him with amazement.</p>
+
+<p>"Hear me, Oliver," said Mr. Culpepper; "It is not merely because you are
+my grandson, and as such my legal heir&mdash;unless I choose to dispose of my
+property otherwise&mdash;but I took a fancy to you the moment I saw you, when
+I could not know that you were of my own blood. As to those fellows, I
+have had enough of them, and no doubt they have had enough of me. I have
+towed them about with me already too long. It is time I should cut the
+rope, and turn them adrift. No doubt they will do better when left to
+shift for themselves."</p>
+
+<p>The Lambleys exhibited visible signs of consternation.</p>
+
+<p>"Oliver," continued Mr. Culpepper, "prepare to accompany me to Canada.
+There you shall live with me as my acknowledged heir, taking the name of
+Culpepper, and no longer feeling yourself a destitute orphan."</p>
+
+<p>"I never have felt myself a destitute orphan," said Oliver, looking
+gratefully at Colonel and Mrs. Brigham, both of whom looked as if they
+could clasp him in their arms.</p>
+
+<p>"I promise you every reasonable enjoyment that wealth can bestow,"
+pursued Mr. Culpepper.</p>
+
+<p>"I have all sorts of reasonable enjoyments already," answered Oliver. "A
+fine farm to take care of; a capital gun; four excellent dogs; and such
+horses as are not to be found within fifty miles; fine fishing in the
+Susquehanna; plenty of newspapers to read, and some books too; frolics
+to go to, all through the neighbourhood; and now and then a visit to the
+city, where I take care to see all the shows."</p>
+
+<p>"Nonsense," said Mr. Culpepper; "what is all this compared to an
+introduction to the best society of Quebec?"</p>
+
+<p>"And what better than all this is done by the best society of Quebec?"
+inquired Oliver.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Culpepper did not answer this question; but continued: "There is
+another consideration of still more consequence: As my grandson and
+heir, I can insure you an opportunity of marrying a lady of family and
+fortune."</p>
+
+<p>"I would rather marry Fanny," said Oliver.</p>
+
+<p>At this spontaneous and unequivocal announcement, Colonel and Mrs.
+Brigham each caught one of Oliver's hands, unable to conceal their joy.
+A flush passed over Fanny's face, and she half rose up, and then sat
+down again. At last she said, with sparkling eyes, and a curl of her
+lip, "How do you know that Fanny will have you?" And she pursued her
+work with such eagerness, that she forgot to replenish her needle, and
+went on sewing without a thread.</p>
+
+<p>There was a silence a few moments, and then Mr. Culpepper proceeded: "In
+short, Oliver, you must go with me to Canada, and settle there for
+life."</p>
+
+<p>"First listen to me," said Oliver, "for I am going to make a speech, and
+I intend to abide by it.&mdash;As to your being my grandfather, that is a
+thing I cannot help. You must not expect me to be taken with a sudden
+affection for you, and to feel dutiful all at once, when I never saw you
+in my life till yesterday. Maybe it might come after awhile; but that is
+quite a matter of doubt, as I fear we should never suit each other at
+all. Neither will I ever consent to go and live in Canada, and be under
+the rule of a king. My father died in trying to get free from one. I
+like my own country, and I like the way of living I am used to; and I
+like the good friends that have brought me up. And if Fanny won't have
+me, I dare say I can find somebody that will."</p>
+
+<p>The Brighams looked reproachfully at their daughter, who held down her
+head and gave her sewing such a flirt, that it fell from her hand on the
+floor and the Lambleys picked it up.</p>
+
+<p>"Another thing," proceeded Oliver to Mr. Culpepper, "this is your will,
+is it not?" (putting his hand on it as it lay beside the red box). "Now
+tell me if there are any legacies in it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Not one;" replied Mr. Culpepper, "the whole is left to endow a hospital
+for idiots. I knew nobody that deserved a legacy."</p>
+
+<p>"So much the worse," said Oliver, "it looks as if you had no friends.
+You had better make another will."</p>
+
+<p>"I intend to do so," replied Culpepper.</p>
+
+<p>"Then," said Oliver, "this is of no use; and the sooner there is an end
+of it the better;"&mdash;and he threw it into the fire, where it was
+instantly consumed.</p>
+
+<p>The Lambleys were so frightened at this outrageous act (for so it
+appeared to them), that they all tried to get out of the room. Mrs.
+Brigham spread her hands with a sort of scream; her husband could not
+help laughing; Fanny again dropped her work, and nobody picked it up.
+Mr. Culpepper frowned awfully; but he was the first to speak, and said,
+"Young man, how have you dared to do this?"</p>
+
+<p>"I can dare twice as much," replied Oliver;&mdash;"I have shot a bear face to
+face. One hard winter there were several found in the woods not ten
+miles off. Suppose, Mr. Culpepper, you were to die suddenly (as you
+possibly may in a fit or something), before you get your new will made!
+This would then be considered the right one, and your money after all
+would go to that idiot hospital."</p>
+
+<p>"You are the most original youth I have ever met with," said Culpepper;
+"I know not how it is; but the more you oppose me, the better I like
+you."</p>
+
+<p>The nephews looked astonished.</p>
+
+<p>"Still," observed Oliver, "it would never do for us to live together.
+For myself, I neither like opposing nor submitting; never having been
+used to either."</p>
+
+<p>"It is not possible," said Culpepper, "that you mean seriously to refuse
+my offer of protection and fortune?"</p>
+
+<p>"As to protection," replied Oliver; "I can protect myself. And as to
+fortune, I dare say I can make one for myself. And as to that other
+thing, the wife, I shall try to get one of my own sort&mdash;Fanny, or
+somebody else. And as to the name of Culpepper, I'll never take it."</p>
+
+<p>"And will you really not go with me to Canada?"</p>
+
+<p>"No! positively I will not. I believe, though, I ought to thank you for
+your offers, which I now do. No doubt they were well meant. But here I
+intend to stay, with the excellent people that took me when nobody else
+would, and that have brought me up as their own child. I know how sorry
+they would be were I to leave them, and yet they have had the
+forbearance not to say one word to persuade me to stay. So it is my firm
+determination to live and die with them."</p>
+
+<p>He then shook hands with each of the old Brighams, who were deeply
+affected, and threw their arms round him. Fanny, completely overcome,
+entirely off her guard, flew to Oliver, hid her face on his shoulder,
+and burst into tears. He kissed her cheek, saying, "Now, Fanny, I hope
+we understand each other;"&mdash;and Colonel Brigham put his daughter's hand
+into Oliver's.</p>
+
+<p>"So then," said Mr. Culpepper, "I have found a grandson but to lose him.
+Well, I deserve it."</p>
+
+<p>The nephews looked as if they thought so too.</p>
+
+<p>"What shall I do now?" continued the old man dolorously.</p>
+
+<p>"Take your nephews into favour again," said Oliver.</p>
+
+<p>"They never were in favour," replied the uncle.</p>
+
+<p>"At all events treat them like men."</p>
+
+<p>"It is their own fault. Why do they not behave as such?"</p>
+
+<p>The old gentleman walked about in much perturbation. At last he said to
+the Lambleys, "Young men, as you took a most nefarious method of
+discovering my intentions towards you, and as I never had a doubt
+respecting the real motive of all your obsequiousness to me, there is no
+use in attempting any farther disguise on either side. When masks are
+only of gauze, it is not worth while to wear them. Try then if you can
+be natural for a little while, till I see what can be done with you. You
+will find it best in the end. And now, I think, we will go away as soon
+as possible. The longer I stay here, the more difficult I shall find it
+to leave Oliver."</p>
+
+<p>To be brief.&mdash;Mr. Culpepper and his nephews departed in about an hour,
+in a vehicle belonging to the General Wayne, and which was to carry them
+to the nearest village from whence they could proceed to New York.</p>
+
+<p>At parting, Mr. Culpepper held out his hand and said, "Oliver, for once
+call me grandfather."</p>
+
+<p>Oliver pressed his hand, and said, "Grandfather, we part friends." The
+old gentleman held his handkerchief to his eyes, as he turned from the
+door, and his nephews looked nohow.</p>
+
+<p>In about a month, Oliver received a parcel from Mr. Culpepper,
+containing the little red morocco box, in which was a letter and some
+papers. The letter was dated from New York. The old gentleman informed
+his grandson, that he had been so fortunate as to engage the affections
+and obtain the hand of a very beautiful young lady of that city (the
+youngest of eight sisters, and just entering her seventeenth year), who
+had convinced him, that she married only from the sincerest love.
+Finding no farther occasion for his nephews, he had established them
+all in business in New York, where no doubt they would do better than in
+Canada. He sent Oliver certificates for bank stock to a considerable
+amount, and requested him, whenever he wanted more money for the
+enlargement or improvement of the farm, to apply to him without scruple.</p>
+
+<p>This letter arrived on the day of Oliver's marriage with Fanny; on which
+day the sign of the General Wayne was taken down, and the tavern became
+once more a farm-house only; Mrs. Brigham having been much troubled by
+the interruptions she sustained from customers, during her immense
+preparations for the wedding, and determining that on the great occasion
+itself, she would not be "put out" by the arrival of any guest, except
+those that were invited.</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Brigham, never having approved of the sign, was not sorry to see
+it removed; and Mrs. Brigham, thinking it a pity to have it wasted, made
+it do duty in the largest bedchamber as a chimney-board.</p>
+
+<p>In a few years the Colonel found sufficient employment for most of his
+time in playing with Fanny's children, and such was his "green old age,"
+that when upwards of seventy, he was still able to take the
+superintendence of the farm, while Oliver was absent at the seat of the
+state government, making energetic speeches in the capacity of an
+assembly-man.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="THE_OFFICERS" id="THE_OFFICERS"></a>THE OFFICERS:</h2>
+
+<h3>A STORY OF THE LAST WAR WITH ENGLAND.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">&mdash;&mdash;"All furnished, all in arms,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">All plumed like estridges."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span><br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<p>Sophia Clements had just arrived in Philadelphia on a visit to her
+sister, Mrs. Darnel, the widow of a merchant who had left his family in
+very affluent circumstances. The children were a son now settled in
+business at Canton, two very pretty daughters who had recently quitted
+school, and a boy just entering his twelfth year.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Clements, who (being the child of a second marriage) was twenty
+years younger than Mrs. Darnel, had resided since the death of her
+parents with an unmarried brother in New York, where her beauty and her
+mental accomplishments had gained her many admirers, none of whom,
+however, had been able to make any impression on her heart.</p>
+
+<p>Sophia Clements was but few years older than her gay and giddy nieces,
+who kindly offered to pass her off as their cousin, declaring that she
+was quite too young to be called aunt. But secure in the consciousness
+of real youth, she preferred being addressed by the title that properly
+belonged to her.</p>
+
+<p>This visit of Sophia Clements was in the last year of the second contest
+between England and America; and she found the heads of her two nieces
+filled chiefly with the war, and particularly with the officers. They
+had an infinity to tell her of "the stirring times" that had prevailed
+in Philadelphia, and were still prevailing. And she found it difficult
+to convince them that there was quite as much drumming and fifing in
+New York, and rather more danger; as that city, from its vicinity to the
+ocean, was much easier of access to the enemy.</p>
+
+<p>The boy Robert was, of course, not behind his sisters in enthusiasm for
+the "pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious war," and they were
+indebted to him for much soldier-news that they would not otherwise have
+had the felicity of knowing&mdash;his time, between school hours, being
+chiefly spent in collecting it.</p>
+
+<p>On the morning after Miss Clements's arrival, she and her nieces were
+sitting at their muslin work,&mdash;an occupation at that time very customary
+with the ladies, as no foreign articles of cotton embroidery were then
+to be purchased. There was much military talk, and frequent running to
+the window by the two girls, to look out at a passing recruiting party
+with their drum, and fife, and colours, and to admire the gallant
+bearing of the sergeant that walked in front with his drawn sword; for
+recruiting sergeants always have</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"A swashing and a martial outside."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>"Certainly," said Harriet Darnel, "it is right and proper to wish for
+peace; but still, to say the truth, war-time is a very amusing time.
+Everything will seem so flat when it is over."</p>
+
+<p>"I fear, indeed," replied Miss Clements, smiling, "that you will find
+some difficulty in returning to the 'dull pursuits of civil life.'"</p>
+
+<p>"Aunt Sophy," said Caroline, "I wish you had been here in the summer,
+when we were all digging at the fortifications that were thrown up in
+the neighbourhood of the city, to defend it in case of an attack by
+land. Each citizen gave a day's work, and worked with his own hands.
+They went in bodies, according to their trades and professions, marching
+out at early dawn with their digging implements. They were always
+preceded by a band of music, playing Hail Columbia or Washington's
+March, and they returned at dusk in the same manner. We regularly took
+care to see them whenever they passed by."</p>
+
+<p>"The first morning," said Harriet, "they came along so very early that
+none of us were up till the sound of the music wakened us; and being in
+our night-clothes, we could only peep at them through the half-closed
+shutters; but afterwards, we took care to be always up and dressed in
+time, so that we could throw open the windows and lean out, and gaze
+after them till they were out of sight. You cannot think how affecting
+it was. Our eyes were often filled with tears as we looked at them&mdash;even
+though they were not soldiers, but merely our own people, and had no
+uniform."</p>
+
+<p>"All instances of patriotism, or of self-devotion for the general good,
+are undoubtedly affecting," observed Sophia.</p>
+
+<p>"Every trade went in its turn," pursued Harriet, "and every man of every
+trade, masters and journeymen&mdash;none stayed behind. One day we saw the
+butchers go, another day the bakers; also the carpenters and
+bricklayers, then the shoemakers and the tailors, the curriers and the
+saddlers, and the blacksmiths. Often two or three trades went together.
+There were the type-founders, and the printers, and the book-binders.
+The merchants also assisted, and the lawyers, and the clergymen of every
+denomination. Most of the Irishmen went twice&mdash;first, according to their
+respective trades, and again as Irishmen only, when they marched out
+playing 'St. Patrick's Day in the Morning.' The negroes had their day,
+also; and we heard them laughing and talking long before we saw them.
+Only imagine the giggling and chattering of several hundred negroes!"</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. and Mrs. Linley took us out in their carriage to see the
+fortifications," resumed Caroline. "It was the lawyers' day; and there
+were some of the principal gentlemen of the city, in straw hats and
+round jackets, and some in their waistcoats only, with their
+shirt-sleeves rolled up, digging with pickaxes and spades, and wheeling
+barrows full of sods. It was delightful to look at them."</p>
+
+<p>"There's a drum and fife again!" exclaimed Harriet. "See, see, Aunt
+Sophy, do look out; here's another recruiting party&mdash;and they have
+picked up four men, who have actually joined them in the street. How
+glad I am!"</p>
+
+<p>"Do come and look, aunt," said Caroline; "it is not the same party that
+passed a little while ago. I know it by the sergeant, who has darker
+hair and eyes than the other. This is Lieutenant Bunting's recruiting
+party. He has handbills on all the corners, headed: 'List, list&mdash;oh,
+list!'"</p>
+
+<p>"Aunt Sophy," said Harriet, as they resumed their seats, "you cannot
+imagine what a lively summer we have had!"</p>
+
+<p>"I can easily imagine," replied Sophia, "that you almost lived out of
+the window."</p>
+
+<p>"How could we do otherwise," answered Harriet, "when there was so much
+to look at, particularly during the alarm? Alarms are certainly very
+exciting."</p>
+
+<p>"Undoubtedly," observed Sophia; "but what was the alarm?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! there has been one long alarm all summer; and it is still going on,
+or our volunteers would not stay so long at Camp Dupont. But there, it
+seems, they may have to remain till winter drives the British away from
+the Capes."</p>
+
+<p>"I conclude," said Miss Clements, "the alarm <i>par excellence</i> was when
+the enemy sailed up the Chesapeake to attack Baltimore, and there was an
+apprehension of their crossing over to Philadelphia."</p>
+
+<p>"The very time," answered Harriet. "We had a troop of horse
+reconnoitering on the Chesapeake. Their camp was at Mount Bull, near
+Elkton. They were all gentlemen, and they acted in turn as videttes. One
+of them arrived here every evening with despatches for General
+Bloomfield concerning the movements of the enemy&mdash;and they still come.
+You know last evening, soon after your arrival, one of the times that I
+ran to the window was to see the vidette<a name="FNanchor_73_73" id="FNanchor_73_73"></a><a href="#Footnote_73_73" class="fnanchor">[73]</a> galloping along the street,
+looking so superbly in his light-horseman's uniform, with his pistols in
+his holsters, and his horse's feet striking fire from the stones."</p>
+
+<p>"Once," said Caroline, "we heard a galloping in the middle of the night,
+and therefore we all got up and looked out. In a few minutes the streets
+were full of men who had risen and dressed themselves, and gone out to
+get the news. I was sorry that, being women, we could not do the same.
+But we sent Bob&mdash;you don't know how useful we find Bob. He is versed in
+all sorts of soldiers and officers, and every kind of uniform, and the
+right way of wearing it. He taught us to distinguish a captain from a
+lieutenant, and an infantry from an artillery officer,&mdash;silver for
+infantry, and gold for artillery,&mdash;and then there is the staff uniform
+besides, and the dragoons, and the rifle officers, and the engineers. Of
+course, I mean the regular army. As to volunteers and militia, we knew
+them long ago."</p>
+
+<p>"But you are forgetting the vidette that galloped through the street at
+midnight," said Sophia.</p>
+
+<p>"True, aunt; but when one has so much to tell, it is difficult to avoid
+digressions. Well, then&mdash;this vidette brought news of the attack on
+Baltimore; and, by daylight, there was as much confusion and hustle in
+the town, as if we had expected the enemy before breakfast."</p>
+
+<p>"We saw all the volunteers march off," said Harriet, taking up the
+narrative. "They started immediately to intercept the British on their
+way to Philadelphia,&mdash;for we were sure they would make an attempt to
+come. We had seen from our windows, these volunteers drilling for weeks
+before, in the State House Yard. It is delightful to have a house in
+such a situation. My favourite company was the Washington Guards, but
+Caroline preferred the State Fencibles. I liked the close round jackets
+of the Guards, and their black belts, and their tall black feathers
+tipped with red. There was something novel and out of the common way in
+their uniform."</p>
+
+<p>"No matter," said Caroline, "the dress of the State Fencibles was far
+more manly and becoming. They wore coatees, and white belts, and little
+white pompons tipped with red; pompons stand the wind and weather much
+better than tall feathers. And then the State Fencibles were all such
+genteel, respectable men."</p>
+
+<p>"So were the Washington Guards," retorted Harriet, "and younger
+besides."</p>
+
+<p>"No, no," replied Caroline, "it was their short, boyish-looking jackets
+that gave them that appearance."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, well," resumed Harriet, "I must say that all the volunteer
+companies looked their very best the day they marched off in full
+expectation of a battle. I liked them every one. Even the blankets that
+were folded under their knapsacks were becoming to them. We saw some of
+the most fashionable gentlemen of the city shoulder their muskets and go
+off as guards to the baggage-wagons, laughing as if they considered it
+an excellent joke."</p>
+
+<p>"To think," said Caroline, "of the hardships they have to suffer in
+camp! After the worst of the alarm had subsided, many of the volunteers
+obtained leave of absence for a day or two, and came up to the city to
+visit their families, and attend a little to business. We always knew
+them in a moment by their sunburnt faces. They told all about it, and
+certainly their sufferings have been dreadful, for gentlemen. Standing
+guard at night, and in all weather,&mdash;sleeping in tents, without any
+bedsteads, and with no seats but their trunks,&mdash;cooking their own
+dinners, and washing their own dishes,&mdash;and, above all, having to eat
+their own awful cooking!"</p>
+
+<p>"But you forget the country volunteers," said Harriet, "that came
+pouring in from all parts of Pennsylvania. We saw them every one as they
+passed through the city on their way down to Camp Dupont. And really we
+liked <i>them</i> also. Most of the country companies wore rifle-dresses of
+coloured cotton, trimmed with fringe; for instance, some had blue with
+red fringe, others green with yellow fringe; some brown with blue
+fringe. One company was dressed entirely in yellow, spotted with black.
+They looked like great two-legged leopards. We were very desirous of
+discovering who an old gray-haired man was that rode at the head. He was
+a fine-looking old fellow, and his dress and his horse were of the same
+entire gray. I shall never forget that man."</p>
+
+<p>"I shall never forget anything connected with the alarm," resumed
+Caroline. "There was a notice published in all the papers, and stuck up
+at every corner, telling what was to be done in case the enemy were
+actually approaching the city. Three guns were to be fired from the Navy
+Yard as a signal for the inhabitants to prepare for immediate danger.
+You can't think how anxiously we listened for those three guns."</p>
+
+<p>"I can readily believe it," said Miss Clements.</p>
+
+<p>"We knew some families," continued Caroline, "that, in anticipation of
+the worst, went and engaged lodgings in out-of-the-way places, thirty or
+forty miles from town, that they might have retreats secured; and they
+packed up their plate and other valuable articles, for removal at a
+short notice. We begged of mamma to let us stay through everything, as
+we might never have another opportunity of being in a town that was
+taken by the enemy; and as no gentleman belonging to us was in any way
+engaged in the war, we thought the British would not molest <i>us</i>. To say
+the truth, mamma took the whole alarm very coolly, and always said she
+had no apprehensions for Philadelphia."</p>
+
+<p>"Maria Milden was at Washington," observed Harriet, "when the British
+burnt the President's House and the Capitol, and she told us all about
+it, for she was so fortunate as to see the whole. Nobody seems to think
+they will burn the State House, if they come to Philadelphia. But I
+do&mdash;don't you, aunt Sophia? What a grand sight it would be, and how fast
+the State-House bell would ring for its own fire!"</p>
+
+<p>"We can only hope that they will always be prevented from reaching the
+city at all," replied Miss Clements.</p>
+
+<p>"But don't I hear a trumpet?" exclaimed Caroline; and the girls were
+again at the window.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! that is the troop of United States dragoons that Bob admires so
+much," cried Harriet. "They have recruited a hundred men here in the
+city. I suppose they are on their way to the lines. Look, look, aunt
+Sophy,&mdash;now, you must acknowledge this to be a fine sight."</p>
+
+<p>"It is," said Sophia.</p>
+
+<p>"Only see," continued Harriet, "how the long tresses of white horse-hair
+on their helmets are waving in the wind; and see how gallantly they hold
+their sabres; and look at the captain as he rides at their head,&mdash;only
+see his moustaches. I hope that captain will not be killed."</p>
+
+<p>"But I shall be sorry if he is not wounded," said Caroline. "Wounded
+officers are always so much admired. You know, Harriet, we saw one last
+winter with his arm in a sling, and a black patch on his forehead. How
+sweetly he looked!"</p>
+
+<p>"Nay," said Harriet, "I cannot assent to that; for he was one of the
+ugliest men I ever saw, both face and figure, and all the wounding in
+the world would not have made him handsome."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, interesting then,"&mdash;persisted Caroline;&mdash;"you must own that he
+looked interesting, and that's everything."</p>
+
+<p>"May I ask," said Miss Clements, "if you are acquainted with any
+officers?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, yes," replied Harriet, "we meet with them sometimes at houses where
+we visit. How very unlucky it is that brother Francis happens to be
+living in Canton, just at this time of all others! If he were with us,
+we could go more into company, and his friends would visit at our
+house&mdash;and of course he would know a great many officers. But mamma is
+so very particular, and so very apprehensive about us, and she cannot
+herself be persuaded to go to any public places. I wish Bob were grown
+up."</p>
+
+<p>"We were very desirous," said Caroline, "of being among the young ladies
+who joined in presenting a standard, last October, to a regiment of
+infantry that was raised chiefly in the city, but mamma would not permit
+us. However, we saw the ceremony from a window. The young ladies who
+gave the standard were all dressed alike in white muslin frocks and long
+white kid gloves, with their hair plain and without ornament&mdash;they
+looked sweetly. The regiment had marched into town for the purpose,&mdash;for
+they were encamped near Darby. The young ladies with the flag stood on
+the steps of a house in Chestnut street, and the officers were ranged in
+front. She that held the standard delivered a short address on the
+occasion, and the ensign who received it knelt on one knee, and replied
+very handsomely to her speech. Then the drums rolled, and the band
+struck up, and the colours waved, and the officers all saluted the
+ladies."</p>
+
+<p>"In what way?" asked Sophia.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, with their swords. A military salute is superb&mdash;Bob showed us all
+the motions. Look now, aunt Sophia, I'll do it with the fly-brush.
+That's exactly the way."</p>
+
+<p>"I have always considered a military salute extremely graceful," said
+Miss Clements.</p>
+
+<p>"But we have still more to tell about this regiment," continued
+Caroline. "You must know we spent a most delightful day in their
+camp&mdash;actually in their camp!"</p>
+
+<p>"And how did you happen to arrive at that pitch of felicity?" asked
+Sophia.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" replied Caroline, "we are, most fortunately for us, acquainted
+with the family of an officer belonging to this district, and they
+invited us to join them on a visit to the camp. Our friends had made
+arrangements for having a sort of picnic dinner there, and baskets of
+cold provisions were accordingly conveyed in the carriages. The weather
+was charming, for it was the Indian summer, and everything conspired to
+be so delightful. First we saw a review: how elegantly the officers
+looked galloping along the line,&mdash;and then the man&oelig;uvres of the
+soldiers were superb,&mdash;they seemed to move by magic. When the review was
+over, the officers were all invited to share our dinner. As they always
+went to Darby (which was close by) for their meals, they had no
+conveniences for dining in camp; and the contrivances that were resorted
+to for the accommodation of our party caused us much amusement. The
+flies of two or three tents were put together so as to make a sort of
+pavilion for us. Some boards were brought, and laid upon barrels, so as
+to form a table; and for table-cloths we had sheets supplied by the
+colonel. We sat on benches of rough boards, similar to those that formed
+the table. Plates, and knives and forks, were borrowed for us of the
+soldiers. We happened to have no salt with us,&mdash;some, therefore, was
+procured from the men's pork-barrels, and we made paper salt-cellars to
+put it in. But the effect of our table was superb, all the gentlemen
+being in full uniform&mdash;such a range of epaulets and sashes! Their
+swords and chapeaux, which they had thrown under a tree, formed such a
+picturesque heap! The music was playing for us all the time, and we were
+waited upon by orderlies&mdash;think of having your plate taken by a soldier
+in uniform! Wine-glasses being scarce among us, when a gentleman invited
+a lady to take wine with him, she drank first, and gave him her glass,
+and he drank out of it&mdash;and so many pretty things were said on the
+occasion. After dinner the colonel took us to his tent, which was
+distinguished from the others by being larger, and having a flag flying
+in front, and what they called a picket fence round it. Then we were
+conducted all through the camp, each lady leaning on the arm of an
+officer: we almost thought ourselves in Paradise. For weeks we could
+scarcely bear to speak to a citizen&mdash;Mr. Wilson and Mr. Thomson seemed
+quite sickening."</p>
+
+<p>"What nonsense you are talking!" said Mrs. Darnel, who, unperceived by
+her daughters, had entered the room but a few moments before, and seated
+herself on the sofa with her sewing. "When you are old enough to think
+of marrying (the two girls smiled and exchanged glances), you may
+consider yourselves very fortunate if any such respectable young men as
+the two you have mentioned so disdainfully, should deem you worthy of
+their choice."</p>
+
+<p>"I have no fancy for respectable young men," said Harriet, in a low
+voice.</p>
+
+<p>"I hope you will live to change your opinion," pursued Mrs. Darnel. "I
+cannot be all the time checking and reproving; but my consolation is
+that when the war is over, you will both come to your senses,&mdash;and while
+it lasts the officers have, fortunately, something else to think of than
+courtship and marriage; and are seldom long enough in one place to
+undertake anything more than a mere flirtation."</p>
+
+<p>"For my part," said Miss Clements, "nothing could induce me to marry an
+officer. Even in time of peace to have no settled home; and to be
+transferred continually from place to place, not knowing at what moment
+the order for removal may arrive; and certainly in time of war my
+anxiety for my husband's safety would be so great as entirely to destroy
+my happiness."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Mrs. Darnel, "I wish, for a thousand reasons, that this war
+was over. Setting aside all more important considerations, the
+inconvenience it causes in our domestic concerns is too incessant to be
+trifling. We are not yet prepared to live comfortably without the aid
+of foreign importations. The price of everything has risen enormously."</p>
+
+<p>"That is very true, mamma," observed Harriet; "only think of having to
+give two dollars a yard for slight Florence silk; such silk as before
+the war <i>we</i> would not have worn at all&mdash;but now we are glad to get
+anything,&mdash;and two dollars a pair for cotton stockings; cambric muslin a
+dollar and a half a yard&mdash;a dollar for a paper of pins&mdash;twenty-five
+cents for a cotton ball!"</p>
+
+<p>"And groceries!" resumed Mrs. Darnel; "sugar a dollar a pound&mdash;lemons
+half a dollar a piece!"</p>
+
+<p>"I must say," said Caroline, "I am very tired of cream of tartar
+lemonade. I find it wherever I go."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, all this is bad enough," said Harriet; "but somehow it does not
+make us the least unhappy, and certainly we are anything but dull."</p>
+
+<p>"And then it is so pleasant," remarked Caroline, "every now and then to
+hear the bells ringing, and to find that it is for a victory; and it is
+so glorious to be taking ship after ship from the British. Bob says he
+envied the New Yorkers the day the frigate United States brought in the
+Macedonian."</p>
+
+<p>"I own," said Miss Clements, "that the excitement of that day, can never
+be forgotten by those that felt it. It had been ascertained the evening
+before that these ships were off Sandy Hook, but in the morning there
+was a heavy fog which, it was feared, would prevent their coming up to
+the city. Nevertheless, thousands of people were assembled at daylight
+on the Battery. At last a sunbeam shone out, the fog cleared off with
+almost unprecedented rapidity, and there lay the two frigates at anchor,
+side by side&mdash;the Macedonian with the American colours flying above the
+British ensign. So loud were the acclamations of the spectators, that
+they were heard half over the city, and they ceased not, till both
+vessels commenced firing a salute."</p>
+
+<p>The conversation was finally interrupted by the arrival of some female
+visitors, who joined Mrs. Darnel in lamenting the inconveniences of the
+times. One fearing that if the present state of things continued, she
+would soon be obliged to dress her children in domestic gingham, and the
+other producing from her reticule a pattern for a white linen glove,
+which she had just borrowed with a view of making some for herself; kid
+gloves being now so scarce that they were rarely to be had at any
+price.</p>
+
+<p>A few evenings afterwards, our young ladies were invited to join a party
+to a ball; where Mr. Wilson and Mr. Thomson were treated with
+considerable indifference by the Miss Darnels; but being very
+persevering young men, they consoled themselves with the hope that <i>le
+bon temps viendra</i>. About the middle of the evening, the girls espied at
+a distance, among the crowd of gentlemen near the door, the glitter of a
+pair of silver epaulets.</p>
+
+<p>"There's a field-officer, Aunt Sophia," said Harriet: "he wears two
+epaulets, and is therefore either a major or a colonel. So I am
+determined to dance with him."</p>
+
+<p>"If you can," added Caroline.</p>
+
+<p>"How will you accomplish this enterprise?" asked Sophia.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" replied Harriet, "I saw him talking to Mr. Wilson, who, I suppose,
+has got acquainted with him somehow. So I'll first dance with poor
+Wilson, just to put him into a good humour, and I'll make him introduce
+this field-officer to me."</p>
+
+<p>All this was accomplished. She <i>did</i> dance with Mr. Wilson&mdash;he <i>was</i> put
+into a good humour; and when, half-laughing, half-blushing, she
+requested that he would contrive for her an introduction to the
+field-officer, he smiled, and, somewhat to her surprise, said at once,
+"Your wish shall be gratified," adding, "he fought bravely at
+Tippecanoe, and was rewarded with a commission in the regular service."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Wilson then left her, and in a few minutes returned with the
+gentleman in question, whom he introduced as Major Steifenbiegen. The
+major was of German extraction (as his name denoted), and came
+originally from one of the back counties of Pennsylvania.</p>
+
+<p>When Harriet Darnel had a near view of him, she found that the
+field-officer, though a tall, stout man, was not distinguished by any
+elegance of figure, and that his features, though by no means ugly, were
+heavy and inexpressive, and his movements very much like those of a
+wooden image set in motion by springs. However, he was in full uniform,
+and had two epaulets, and wore the U. S. button.</p>
+
+<p>On being introduced by young Wilson to Harriet and her companions, the
+major bowed almost to the floor, as he gravely requested the honour of
+Miss Darnel's hand for the next set,&mdash;which he told her he was happy to
+say was a country-dance. On her assenting, he expressed his gratitude in
+slow and measured terms, and in a manner that showed he had been
+studying his speech during his progress across the ball-room.</p>
+
+<p>"Madam," said he, "will you have the goodness to accept my most obliged
+thanks for the two honours you are doing me; first, in desiring the
+acquaintance of so unworthy an object, and secondly, madam, in agreeing
+to dance with me? I have never been so much favoured by so fine a young
+lady."</p>
+
+<p>Harriet looked reproachfully at Mr. Wilson for having betrayed to Major
+Steifenbiegen her wish for the introduction; but Wilson afterwards took
+an opportunity of making her understand that she had nothing to fear;
+the field-officer being entirely guiltless of the sin of vanity&mdash;as far,
+at least, as regarded the ladies.</p>
+
+<p>In a few minutes a fair-haired, slovenly, but rather a handsome young
+man, in a citizen's old brown surtout, with an epaulet on his left
+shoulder, came up to Major Steifenbiegen, and slapping him on the back,
+said, "Well, here I am, just from Washington. I've got a
+commission,&mdash;you see, I've mounted my epaulet,&mdash;and the tailor is making
+my uniform. Who's that pretty girl you're going to dance with?" he
+added, in a loud whisper.</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Darnel," replied the major, drawing him aside, and speaking in a
+tone quite different from that in which he thought proper to address the
+ladies.</p>
+
+<p>"Is that her sister beside her&mdash;the one that's dressed exactly the
+same?"</p>
+
+<p>"I presume so."</p>
+
+<p>"You know it is&mdash;she's the prettiest of the two. So introduce me, and I
+declare I'll take her out."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't see how you can dance in that long surtout," observed the
+major.</p>
+
+<p>"Just as well as you can in those long jack-boots."</p>
+
+<p>"But I'm in full uniform," said the major, "and your dress is neither
+one thing nor t'other."</p>
+
+<p>"No matter for that," replied the youth, "I'm old Virginia, and am above
+caring about my dress. Haven't I my epaulet on my shoulder, to let
+everybody know I'm an officer?&mdash;and that's enough. Show me the girl that
+wouldn't be willing, any minute, to 'pack up her tatters and follow the
+drum.'"</p>
+
+<p>Major Steifenbiegen then introduced to the ladies Lieutenant Tinsley,
+who requested Miss Caroline Darnel's hand for the next dance. Caroline,
+consoling herself with the idea that <i>her</i> officer, though in an old
+brown surtout and dingy Jefferson shoes, was younger and handsomer than
+Harriet's major, allowed him, as he expressed it, to carry her to the
+dance,&mdash;which, he did by tucking her hand under his arm, and walking
+very fast; informing her, at the same time, that he was old Virginia.</p>
+
+<p>Major Steifenbiegen respectfully took the tips of Harriet's fingers,
+saying, "Madam, I am highly obligated to you for allowing me the
+privilege of leading you by the hand to the dance: I consider it a third
+honour."</p>
+
+<p>"Then you are three by honours," said Tinsley.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Clements, who was too much fatigued by six sets of cotillions to
+undertake the "never-ending, still-beginning country-dance," remained in
+her seat, talking to her last partner, and regarding at a distance the
+proceedings of her two nieces and their military beaux.</p>
+
+<p>It is well known that during the war of 1812, commissions were sometimes
+bestowed upon citizens who proved excellent soldiers, but whose
+opportunities of acquiring the polish of gentlemen had been rather
+circumscribed. There were really a few such officers as Major
+Steifenbiegen and Lieutenant Tinsley.</p>
+
+<p>The Miss Darnels and their partners took their places near the top of
+the country-dance. While it was forming, each of the gentlemen
+endeavoured to entertain his lady according to his own way&mdash;the major by
+slowly hammering out a series of dull and awkward compliments, and the
+lieutenant by a profusion of idle talk that Caroline laughed at without
+knowing why; seasoned as it was with local words and phrases, and with
+boastings about that section of the Union which had the honour of being
+his birth-place.</p>
+
+<p>"Madam," said the major, "I think it is the duty of an officer&mdash;the
+bounden duty&mdash;to make himself agreeable, that is, to be perpetually
+polite, and so forth. I mean we are to be always agreeable to the
+ladies, because the ladies are always agreeable to us. Perhaps, madam, I
+don't speak loud enough. Madam, don't you think it is the duty of an
+officer to be polite and agreeable to the ladies?"</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly," answered Harriet, "of an officer and of all gentlemen."</p>
+
+<p>"Very true, madam," persisted the major, "your sentiments are quite
+correct. All gentlemen should be polite to the fair sex, but officers
+particularly. Not that I would presume to hint that they ought to be so
+out of gratitude, or that ladies are apt to like officers&mdash;I have not
+that vanity, madam&mdash;we are not a vain people&mdash;that is, we officers. But
+perhaps, madam, my conversation does not amuse you."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! yes it does," replied Harriet, archly.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, madam, if it doesn't, just mention it to me, and I'll willingly
+stop,&mdash;the honour of dancing with so fine a young lady is sufficient
+happiness."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Miss," said young Tinsley to Caroline, "you have but a stran<i>n</i>ge
+sort of dancing here to the north. I can't make out much with your
+cotillions. Before one has time to learn the figure by heart they're
+over; and as to your sash<i>a</i>y and balanj<i>a</i>y, I don't know which is
+which: I'm not good at any of your French capers&mdash;I'm old Virginia. Give
+me one of our own up-country reels&mdash;'Fire in the mountains,' or 'Possum
+up the gum tree,'&mdash;I could show you the figure in a minute, with
+ourselves and two chears."</p>
+
+<p>The dance had now commenced; and Major Steifenbiegen showed some signs
+of trepidation, saying to Miss Darnel, "Madam, will you allow me, if I
+may be so bold, to tax your goodness farther by depending entirely on
+your kind instructions as to the man&oelig;uvres of the dance. I cannot
+say, madam, that I ever was a dancing character&mdash;some people are not.
+It's a study that I have but lately taken up. But with so fine a young
+lady for a teacher, I hope to acquit myself properly. I have been
+informed that Rome was not built in a day. Please, madam, to tell me
+what I am to do first."</p>
+
+<p>"Observe the gentleman above you," replied Harriet, "and you will see in
+a moment."</p>
+
+<p>The major did observe, but could not "catch the idea." The music was
+Fisher's Hornpipe, at that time very popular as a country-dance, and
+Major Steifenbiegen was at length made to understand that he was first
+to go down by himself, outside of the line of gentlemen, and without his
+partner, who was to go down on the inside. He set off on his lonely
+expedition with rather a <i>triste</i> countenance. To give himself a wide
+field, he struck out so far into the vacant part of the room, that a
+stranger, entering at the moment, would have supposed that, for some
+misdemeanor, he had been expelled from the dance, and was performing a
+solitary <i>pas seul</i> by way of penance. His face brightened, however,
+when a gentleman, observing that he took no "note of time," kindly
+recalled him to his place in the vicinity of Miss Darnel. But his
+perplexities were now increased. In crossing hands, he went every way
+but the right one, and the confusion he caused, and his formal
+apologies, were as annoying to his partner,&mdash;who tried in vain to
+rectify his mistakes,&mdash;as they were diverting to the other ladies. He
+ducked his head, and raised his shoulders every time he made a dive at
+their hands, lifting his feet high, like the Irishman that "rose upon
+sugan, and sunk upon gad."</p>
+
+<p>Harriet could almost have cried with vexation; but the worst was still
+to come, and she prepared for the crowning misery of going down the
+middle with Major Steifenbiegen. He no longer touched merely the ends of
+her fingers, but he grasped both her hands hard, as if to secure her
+protection, and holding them high above her head, he blundered down the
+dance, running against one person, stumbling over another, and looking
+like a frightened fool, while his uniform made him doubly conspicuous.
+The smiles of the company were irrepressible, and those at a distance
+laughed outright.</p>
+
+<p>When they came to the bottom, Harriet, who was completely out of
+patience, declared herself fatigued, and insisted on sitting down; and
+the major, saying that it was his duty to comply with every request of
+so fine a young lady, led her to Miss Clements, who, though pained at
+her niece's evident mortification, had been an amused spectator of the
+dance. The major then took his station beside Harriet, fanning her
+awkwardly, and desiring permission to entertain her till the next set.
+She hinted that it would probably be more agreeable to him to join some
+of his friends on the other side of the room; but he told her that he
+could not be so ungrateful for the numerous honours she had done him, as
+to prefer any society to hers.</p>
+
+<p>In the mean time, Caroline Darnel had fared but little better with
+Lieutenant Tinsley; and she was glad to recollect, for the honour of the
+army, that he was only an officer of yesterday, and also to hope (as was
+the truth) that he was by no means a fair sample of the sons of
+Virginia. He danced badly and ridiculously, though certainly not from
+embarrassment, romped and scampered, and was entirely regardless of <i>les
+bienséances</i>.</p>
+
+<p>When they had got to the bottom of the set, and had paused to take
+breath, the lieutenant began to describe to Caroline an opossum
+hunt&mdash;then told her how inferior was the rabbit of Pennsylvania to the
+"old yar"<a name="FNanchor_74_74" id="FNanchor_74_74"></a><a href="#Footnote_74_74" class="fnanchor">[74]</a> of Virginia; and descanted on the excellence of their
+corn-bread, bacon, and barbecued chickens. He acknowledged, however,
+that "where he was raised, the whole neighbourhood counted on having the
+ague every spring and fall."</p>
+
+<p>"Then why do they stay there?" inquired Caroline. "I wonder that any
+people, who are able to leave it, should persist in living in such a
+place."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! you don't know us at all," replied Tinsley. "We are so used to the
+ague, that when it quits us, we feel as if we were parting with an old
+friend. As for me, I fit against it for a while, and then gave up;
+finding that all the remedies, except mint-juleps, were worse than the
+disease. I used to sit upon the <i>stars</i> and shake, wrapped in my big
+overcoat, with my hat on, and the capes drawn over my head&mdash;I'm old
+Virginia."</p>
+
+<p>Like her sister, Caroline now expressed a desire to quit the dance and
+sit down, to which her partner assented; and, after conveying her to her
+party, and telling her: "There, now, you can say you have danced with an
+officer," he wheeled off, adding: "I'll go and get a <i>cigyar</i>, and take
+a stroll round the <i>squarr</i> with it. There's so much noise here that I
+can't do my think."</p>
+
+<p>The major looked astonished at Tinsley's immediate abandonment of a lady
+so young and so pretty, and, by way of contrast, was more obsequious
+than ever to Harriet, reiterating the request which he had made her as
+they quitted the dance, to honour him with her hand for the next set;
+telling her that now, having had some practice, he hoped, with her
+instructions, to acquit himself better than in the last. Harriet parried
+his importunities as adroitly as she could; determined to avoid any
+farther exhibition with him, and yet unwilling to sit still, according
+to the usual ball-room penalty for refusing the invitation of a
+proffered partner.</p>
+
+<p>Both the girls had been thoroughly ashamed of their epauletted beaux,
+and had often, during the dance, looked with wistful eyes towards
+Messrs. Wilson and Thomson, who were very genteel young men, and very
+good dancers, and whose partners&mdash;two beautiful girls&mdash;seemed very happy
+with them.</p>
+
+<p>The major, seeing that other gentlemen were doing so, now departed in
+quest of lemonade for the ladies; and, taking advantage of his absence,
+Harriet exclaimed: "Oh, Aunt Sophy, Aunt Sophy! tell me what to do&mdash;I
+cannot dance again with that intolerable man, neither do I wish to be
+compelled to sit still in consequence of refusing him. I have paid
+dearly for his two epaulets."</p>
+
+<p>"My fool had but one," said Caroline, "and a citizen's coat beside,
+therefore my bargain was far worse than yours. I have some hope,
+however, that he has no notion of asking me again, and if he has, that
+he will not get back from his tour round the <i>squarr</i> before the next
+set begins. I wish his cigar was the size of one of those candles, that
+he might be the longer getting through with it! Oh! that some one would
+ask me immediately!"</p>
+
+<p>"I am sure I wish the same," said Harriet.</p>
+
+<p>At that moment, they were gladdened by the approach of Mr. Harford, a
+very ugly little man, whose dancing and deportment were sufficiently
+<i>comme il faut</i>, and no more. And when he requested Caroline's hand for
+the next set, both the girls, in their eagerness, started forward, and
+replied: "With pleasure."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Harford, not appearing to perceive that her sister had also accepted
+the invitation, bowed his thanks to Caroline, who introduced him to Miss
+Clements. Harriet, recollecting herself, blushed and drew back; while
+Sophia, to cover her niece's confusion, entered into conversation with
+the gentleman.</p>
+
+<p>Presently, Major Steifenbiegen came up with three or four glasses of
+lemonade on a waiter, and a plate piled high with cakes; all of which he
+pressed on the ladies with most urgent perseverance, evidently desirous
+that they should drain the last drop of the lemonade, and finish the
+last morsel of the cakes.</p>
+
+<p>As soon as they had partaken of these refreshments, Mr. Harford led
+Caroline to a cotillion that was arranging. While talking to him she
+felt some one twitch her sleeve, and turning round she beheld Lieutenant
+Tinsley.</p>
+
+<p>"So, miss," said he, "you have given me the slip. Well, I have not been
+gone long. My cigyar was not good, so I chuck'd it away in short order;
+and I came back, and have been looking all about; but seeing nobody
+prettier, I concluded I might as well take you out for this dance also.
+However, there's not much harm done, as I suppose you'll have no
+objection to dance with me next time; and I'll try to get up a Virginia
+reel."</p>
+
+<p>Caroline, much vexed, replied, "I believe I shall dance no more after
+this set."</p>
+
+<p>"What! tired already!" exclaimed Tinsley; "it's easy to see you are not
+old Virginia."</p>
+
+<p>"I hope so," said Caroline, petulantly.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, that's rather a quare answer," resumed Tinsley, after pondering a
+moment till he had comprehended the innuendo; "but I suppose ladies must
+be allowed to say what they please. Good evening, miss."</p>
+
+<p>And he doggedly walked off, murmuring, "After all, these Philadelphia
+girls are not worth a copper."</p>
+
+<p>When Caroline turned round again, she was delighted to perceive the
+glitter of his epaulet amidst a group of young men that were leaving the
+room; and the music now striking up, she cheerfully led off with good,
+ugly Mr. Harford, who had risen highly in her estimation as contrasted
+with Lieutenant Tinsley.</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile, Harriet remained in her seat beside her aunt; the major
+standing before them, prosing and complimenting, and setting forth his
+humble opinion of himself; in which opinion the two ladies, in their
+hearts, most cordially joined him. Miss Clements, who had much tact,
+drew him off from her niece, by engaging him in a dialogue exactly
+suited to his character and capacity; while, unperceived by the major,
+Mr. Thomson stepped up, and, after the interchange of a few words, led
+off Harriet to a cotillion, saying, "Depend upon it, he is not
+sufficiently <i>au fait</i> of the etiquette of a ball room to take offence
+at your dancing with me, after having been asked by him."</p>
+
+<p>"But, if he <i>should</i> resent it&mdash;&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Then I shall know how to answer him. But rely upon it, there is nothing
+to fear."</p>
+
+<p>It was not till the Chace was danced, and the major, happening to turn
+his head in following the eyes of Miss Clements, saw Harriet gayly
+flying round the cotillion with Mr. Thomson, that he missed her for the
+first time,&mdash;having taken it for granted that she would dance with him.
+He started, and exclaimed&mdash;"Well, I certainly am the most faulty of
+men&mdash;the most condemnable&mdash;the most unpardonable officer in the army&mdash;to
+be guilty of such neglect&mdash;such rudeness&mdash;and to so fine a young lady. I
+ought never to presume to show myself in the best classes of society.
+Madam, may I hope that you will stand my friend&mdash;that you will help me
+to gain my pardon?"</p>
+
+<p>"For what?" asked Miss Clements.</p>
+
+<p>"For inviting that handsome young lady to favour me again with her hand,
+and then to neglect observing when the dance was about to begin, so that
+she was obliged to accept the offer of another gentleman. He, no doubt,
+stepped up just in time to save her from sitting still, which, I am
+told, is remarkably disagreeable to young ladies. Madam, I mean no
+reflection on you&mdash;I am incapable of any reflection on you&mdash;but (if I
+may be so bold as to say so) it was <i>your</i> fine, sensible conversation
+that drew me from my duty."</p>
+
+<p>The set being now over, Major Steifenbiegen advanced to meet Mr. Thomson
+and Miss Darnel, and he accosted the former with&mdash;"Sir, give me your
+hand. Sir, you are a gentleman, and I am much obligated to you for
+sparing this young lady the mortification of not dancing with me."</p>
+
+<p>("You may leave out the 'not,'" murmured Harriet to herself.)</p>
+
+<p>"Of not enjoying the dance to which I had invited her, and of saving her
+from sitting still for want of a partner&mdash;all owing to my unofficer-like
+conduct in neglecting to claim her hand. I begin to perceive that I want
+some more practice in ball behaviour. I thank you again for your humane
+kindness to the young lady, which, I hope, will turn aside her anger
+from me."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, yes!" said Harriet, almost afraid to speak lest she should laugh.</p>
+
+<p>"Will you favour me with your name, sir?" pursued the major.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Thomson gave it, much amused at the turn that things had taken. The
+major, after admiring the name, said he should always remember it with
+esteem, and regretted that his having to set out for Plattsburgh early
+on the following morning would, for the present, prevent their farther
+acquaintance. He then made sundry other acknowledgments to Harriet for
+all the honours she had done him that evening, including her forgiveness
+of his "letting her dance without him,"&mdash;bowed to Caroline, who had just
+approached with Mr. Harford; and, going up to Miss Clements, he thanked
+her for her conversation, and finally took his departure. The girls did
+not laugh till he was entirely out of the room, though Harriet remarked
+that he walked edgeways, which she had not observed when he was first
+brought up to her; her fancy being then excited, and her perception
+blinded by the glitter of his two epaulets.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Miss Darnel," said Mr. Wilson, who had just joined them, "how do
+you like your field-officer?"</p>
+
+<p>"Need you ask me?" replied Harriet. "In future I shall hate the sight of
+two silver epaulets."</p>
+
+<p>"And I of one gold one," added Caroline.</p>
+
+<p>"I will not trust you," said Mr. Thomson, with a smile.</p>
+
+<p>"We shall see," said Mr. Wilson.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, young ladies," observed Miss Clements, "you may at least deduce
+one moral from the events of the evening. You find that it <i>is</i> possible
+for officers to be extremely annoying, and to deport themselves in a
+manner that you would consider intolerable in citizens."</p>
+
+<p>"It is intolerable in <i>them</i>, aunt," replied Harriet, "particularly when
+they are stiff and ungainly in all their movements, and dance
+shockingly."</p>
+
+<p>"And if they are conceited, and prating, and ungenteel," added Caroline.</p>
+
+<p>"Awkward in their expressions, and dull in their ideas," pursued
+Harriet.</p>
+
+<p>"Talking ridiculously and behaving worse," continued Caroline.</p>
+
+<p>"Come, come," said Sophia Clements, "candour must compel us to
+acknowledge that these two gentlemen are anything but fair specimens of
+their profession, which I am very sure can boast a large majority of
+intelligent, polished, and accomplished men."</p>
+
+<p>"Be that as it may," replied Harriet, "I confess that my delight in the
+show and parade of war, and my admiration of officers, has received a
+severe shock to-night. 'My thoughts, I must confess, are turned on
+peace.'"</p>
+
+<p>"I fear these pacific feelings are too sudden to be lasting," remarked
+Miss Clements, "and in a day or two we shall find that 'your voice is
+still for war.'"</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>The following morning the young ladies did more sewing than on any day
+for the last two years, sitting all the time in the back parlour. In the
+afternoon, Harriet read C&oelig;lebs aloud to her mother and aunt, and
+Caroline went out to do some shopping. When she came home, she told of
+her having stopped in at Mrs. Raymond's, and of her finding the family
+just going to tea with an officer as their guest. "They pressed me
+urgently," said she, "to sit down and take tea with them, and to remain
+and spend the evening; but I steadily excused myself, notwithstanding
+the officer."</p>
+
+<p>"Good girl!" said Sophia.</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure," added Caroline, "he was only in a citizen's dress."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" said Mrs. Darnel, "that materially alters the case. Had he been in
+uniform, I am sure your steadiness would have given way."</p>
+
+<p>In less than two days all their anti-military resolutions were overset,
+and the young ladies were again on the <i>qui vive</i>, in consequence of the
+promulgation of an order for the return of the volunteers from Camp
+Dupont, as, the winter having set in, the enemy had retired from the
+vicinity of the Delaware and Chesapeake. The breaking up of this
+encampment was an event of much interest to the inhabitants of
+Philadelphia, as there were few of them that had not a near relative, or
+an intimate friend among those citizen-soldiers.</p>
+
+<p>On the morning that they marched home all business was suspended; the
+pavements and door-steps were crowded with spectators, and the windows
+filled with ladies, eager to recognise among the returning volunteers
+their brothers, sons, husbands, or lovers,&mdash;who, on their side, cast
+many upward glances towards the fair groups that were gazing on them.</p>
+
+<p>The British General Riall, who had been taken prisoner at the battle of
+Niagara, chanced to be at a house on the road-side when this gallant
+band went by, on their way to Philadelphia. It is said that he remarked
+to an American gentleman near him, "You should never go to war with
+us&mdash;the terms are too unequal. Men like these are too valuable to be
+thrown away in battle with such as compose <i>our</i> armies, which are
+formed from the overflowings of a superabundant population; while here I
+see not a man that you can spare."</p>
+
+<p>And he was essentially right.</p>
+
+<p>The volunteers entered the city by the central bridge, and came down
+Market street. All were in high spirits, and glad to return once more to
+their homes and families. But unfortunate were those who on that day
+formed the rear-guard, it being their inglorious lot to come in late in
+the afternoon, after the spectators had withdrawn, convoying, with
+"toilsome march, the long array" of baggage-wagons, which they had been
+all day forcing through the heavy roads of an early winter, cold, weary,
+and dispirited, with no music to cheer them, no acclamations to greet
+them. No doubt, however, their chagrin was soon dispelled, and their
+enjoyment proportionately great, when at last they reached their own
+domestic hearths, and met the joyous faces and happy hearts assembled
+round them.</p>
+
+<p>A few days after the return of the volunteers, Mrs. Darnel received a
+letter from an old friend of hers, Mrs. Forrester, a lady of large
+fortune, residing in Boston, containing the information that her son,
+Colonel Forrester, would shortly proceed to Philadelphia from the Canada
+frontier, and that she would accompany him, taking the opportunity of
+making her a long-promised visit. Mrs. Darnel replied immediately,
+expressive of the pleasure it would afford her to meet again one of the
+most intimate companions of her youth, and to have both Mrs. Forrester
+and the colonel staying at her house.</p>
+
+<p>The same post brought a letter to Sophia from Mr. Clements, her brother,
+in New York, who, after telling her of his having heard that Colonel
+Forrester would shortly be in Philadelphia, jestingly proposed her
+attempting the conquest of his heart, as he was not only a gallant
+officer, but a man of high character and noble appearance. Sophia showed
+this letter to no one, but she read it twice over,&mdash;the first time with
+a smile, the second time with a blush. She had heard much of Colonel
+Forrester, of whom "report spoke goldenly;" and several times in New
+York she had seen him in public, but had never chanced to meet him,
+except once at a very large party, when accident had prevented his
+introduction to her.</p>
+
+<p>Harriet and Caroline were almost wild with delight at the prospect of an
+intimate acquaintance with this accomplished warrior; but their joy was
+somewhat damped by the arrival of a second letter from Mrs. Forrester,
+in which she designated the exact time when she might be expected at the
+house of her friend, but said that her son, having some business that
+would detain him several weeks in Philadelphia, would not trespass on
+the hospitality of Mrs. Darnel, but had made arrangements for staying at
+a hotel.</p>
+
+<p>"He is perfectly right," said Sophia. "I concluded, of course, that he
+would do so. Few gentlemen, when in a city, like to stay at private
+houses, if they can be accommodated elsewhere."</p>
+
+<p>"At all events," said Harriet, "his mother will be with us, and he
+<i>must</i> come every day to pay his duty to her."</p>
+
+<p>"That's some comfort," pursued Caroline; "and, no doubt, we shall see a
+great deal of him, one way or another."</p>
+
+<p>Sophia Clements, though scarcely conscious of it herself, felt a secret
+desire of appearing to advantage in the eyes of Colonel Forrester. Her
+two nieces felt the same desire, except that they made it no secret.
+They had worked up their imaginations to the persuasion that Colonel
+Forrester was the finest man in the army, and therefore the finest in
+the world, and they anticipated the delight of his being their frequent
+guest during the stay of his mother; of his morning visits, and his
+evening visits; of having him at dinner and at tea; of planning
+excursions with him to show Mrs. Forrester the lions of the city and its
+vicinity, when, of course, he would be their escort. They imagined him
+walking in Chestnut street with them, and sitting in the same box at the
+theatre. Be it remembered, that during the war, officers in the regular
+service were seldom seen out of uniform, and even when habited as
+citizens they were always distinguished by that "gallant badge, the dear
+cockade." Perhaps, also, Colonel Forrester and his mother might
+accompany them to a ball, and they would then have the glory of dancing
+with an officer so elegant as entirely to efface their mortification at
+their former military partners. We need not say that Messrs. Wilson and
+Thomson were again at a discount.</p>
+
+<p>The girls were taken with an immediate want of various new articles of
+dress, and had their attention been less engaged by the activity of
+their preparations for "looking their very best," the time that
+intervened between the receipt of Mrs. Forrester's last letter and that
+appointed for their arrival, would have seemed of length immeasurable.</p>
+
+<p>At last came the eve of the day on which these all-important strangers
+were expected. As they quitted the tea-table, one of the young ladies
+remarked:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"By this time to-morrow, we shall have seen Col. Forrester and his
+mother."</p>
+
+<p>"As to the mother," observed Mrs. Darnel, "I am very sure that were it
+not for the son, the expectation of <i>her</i> visit would excite but little
+interest in either of you&mdash;though, as you have often heard me say, she
+is a very agreeable and highly intelligent woman."</p>
+
+<p>"We can easily perceive it from her letters," said Sophia.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Darnel, complaining of the headache, retired for the night very
+early in the evening, desiring that she might not be disturbed. Sophia
+took some needle-work, and each of the girls tried a book, but were too
+restless and unsettled to read, and they alternately walked about the
+room or extended themselves on the sofas. It was a dark, stormy
+night&mdash;the windows rattled, and the pattering of the rain against the
+glass was plainly heard through the inside shutters.</p>
+
+<p>"I wish to-morrow evening were come," said Harriet, "and that the
+introduction was over, and we were all seated round the tea-table."</p>
+
+<p>"For my part," said Caroline, "I have a presentiment that everything
+will go on well. We will all do <i>notre possible</i> to look our very best;
+mamma will take care that the rooms and the table shall be arranged in
+admirable style&mdash;and if you and I can only manage to talk and behave
+just as we ought, there is nothing to fear."</p>
+
+<p>"I hope, indeed, that Colonel Forrester will like us," rejoined Harriet,
+"and be induced to continue his visits when he again comes to
+Philadelphia."</p>
+
+<p>"Much depends on the first impression," remarked Miss Clements.</p>
+
+<p>"Now let us just imagine over the arrival of Colonel and Mrs.
+Forrester," said Harriet.&mdash;"The lamps lighted, and the fires burning
+brightly in both rooms. In the back parlour, the tea-table set out with
+the French china and the chased plate;&mdash;mamma sitting in an arm-chair
+with her feet on one of the embroidered footstools, dressed in her
+queen's-gray lutestring, and one of her Brussels lace caps&mdash;I suppose
+the one trimmed with white riband. Aunt Sophia in her myrtle-green
+levantine, seated at the marble table in the front parlour, holding in
+her hand an elegant book&mdash;for instance, her beautiful copy of the
+Pleasures of Hope. Caroline and I will wear our new scarlet Canton
+crapes with the satin trimming, and our coral ornaments."</p>
+
+<p>"No, no," rejoined Caroline; "we resemble each other so much that, if we
+are dressed alike, Colonel Forrester will find too great a sameness in
+us. Do you wear your scarlet crape, and I will put on my white muslin
+with the six narrow flounces headed with insertion.<a name="FNanchor_75_75" id="FNanchor_75_75"></a><a href="#Footnote_75_75" class="fnanchor">[75]</a> I have reserved
+it clean on purpose; and I think Aunt Sophia had best wear her last new
+coat dress, with the lace trimming. It is so becoming to her with a pink
+silk handkerchief tied under the collar."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Harriet, "I will be seated at the table also, not reading,
+but working a pair of cambric cuffs; my mother-of-pearl work-box before
+me."</p>
+
+<p>"And I," resumed Caroline, "will be found at the piano, turning over the
+leaves of a new music-book. Every one looks their best on a music-stool;
+it shows the figure to advantage, and the dress falls in such graceful
+folds."</p>
+
+<p>"My hair shall be <i>à la Grecque</i>," said Harriet.</p>
+
+<p>"And mine in the Vandyke style," said Caroline.</p>
+
+<p>"But," asked Sophia, "are the strangers on entering the room to find us
+all sitting up in form, and arranged for effect, like actresses waiting
+for the bell to ring and the curtain to rise? How can you pretend that
+you were not the least aware of their approach till they were actually
+in the room, when you know very well that you will be impatiently
+listening to the sound of every carriage till you hear theirs stop at
+the door. Never, certainly, will a visiter come <i>less</i> unexpectedly than
+Colonel Forrester."</p>
+
+<p>"But you know, aunt," replied Caroline, "how much depends on a first
+impression."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," resumed Harriet, "I have thought of another way. As soon as they
+enter the front parlour let us all advance through the folding doors to
+meet them,&mdash;mamma leading the van with Aunt Sophy, Caroline and I arm in
+arm behind."</p>
+
+<p>"No," said Caroline, "let us not be close together, so that the same
+glance can take in both."</p>
+
+<p>"Then," rejoined Harriet, "I will be a few steps in advance of you. You,
+as the youngest, should be timid, and should hold back a little; while
+I, as the eldest, should have more self-possession. Variety is
+advisable."</p>
+
+<p>"But I cannot be timid all the time," said Caroline; "that will require
+too great an effort."</p>
+
+<p>"We must not laugh and talk too much at first," observed Harriet; "but
+all we say must be both sprightly and sensible. However, we shall have
+the whole day to-morrow to make our final arrangements; and I think I am
+still in favour of the sitting reception."</p>
+
+<p>"Whether he has a sitting or a standing reception," said Caroline, "let
+the colonel have as striking a <i>coup d'&oelig;il</i> as possible."</p>
+
+<p>Their brother Robert had gone to the theatre by invitation of a family
+with whose sons he was intimate; and Sophia Clements, who was desirous
+of finishing a highly interesting book, and who was not in the least
+addicted to sleepiness, volunteered to sit up for him.</p>
+
+<p>"I think," said she, "as the hour is too late, and the night too stormy
+to expect any visiters, I will go and exchange my dress for a wrapper; I
+can then be perfectly at my ease while sitting up for Robert. I will
+first ring for Peter to move one of the sofas to the side of the fire,
+and to place the reading-lamp upon the table before it."</p>
+
+<p>She did so; and in a short time she came down in a loose double wrapper,
+and with her curls pinned up.</p>
+
+<p>"Really, Aunt Sophy," said Harriet, "that is an excellent idea.
+Caroline, let us pin our hair here in the parlour before the
+mantel-glass; that will be better still&mdash;our own toilet table is far
+from the fire."</p>
+
+<p>"True," replied Caroline, "and you are always so long at the
+dressing-glass that it is an age before I can get to it,&mdash;but here, if
+there were even four of us, we could all stand in a row and arrange our
+hair together before this long mirror."</p>
+
+<p>They sent up for their combs and brushes, their boxes of hair pins, and
+their flannel dressing-gowns, and placed candles on the mantel-piece,
+preparing for what they called "clear comfort;" while Sophia reclined on
+the sofa by the fire, deeply engaged with Miss Owenson's new novel. The
+girls, having poured some cologne-water into a glass, wetted out all
+their ringlets with it, preparatory to the grand curling that was to be
+undertaken for the morrow, and which was not to be opened out during the
+day.</p>
+
+<p>Harriet had just taken out her comb and untied her long hair behind, to
+rehearse its arrangement for the ensuing evening, when a ring was heard
+at the street-door.</p>
+
+<p>"That's Bob," said Caroline. "He is very early from the theatre; I
+wonder he should come home without staying for the farce."</p>
+
+<p>Presently their black man, with a grin of high delight, threw open the
+parlour-door, and ushered in an elegant-looking officer, who, having
+left his cloak in the hall, appeared before them in full uniform,&mdash;and
+they saw at a glance that it could be no one but Colonel Forrester.</p>
+
+<p>Words cannot describe the consternation and surprise of the young
+ladies. Sophia dropped her book, and started on her feet; Harriet
+throwing down her comb so that it broke in pieces on the hearth,
+retreated to a chair that stood behind the sofa with such precipitation
+as nearly to overset the table and the reading-lamp; and Caroline,
+scattering her hair-pins over the carpet, knew not where she was, till
+she found herself on a footstool in one of the recesses. Alas! for the
+<i>coup d'&oelig;il</i> and the first impression! Instead of heads <i>à la
+Grecque</i>, or in the Vandyke fashion, their whole <i>chevelure</i> was
+disordered, and their side-locks straightened into long strings, and
+clinging, wet and ungraceful, to their cheeks. Instead of scarlet crape
+frocks trimmed with satin, or white muslin with six flounces, their
+figures were enveloped in flannel dressing-gowns. All question of the
+sitting reception, or the standing reception was now at an end; for
+Harriet was hiding unsuccessfully behind the sofa, and Caroline
+crouching on a footstool in the corner, trying to conceal a large rent
+which in her hurry she had given to her flannel gown. Resolutions never
+again to make their toilet in the parlour, regret that they had not
+thought of flying into the adjoining room and shutting the folding-doors
+after them, and wonder at the colonel's premature appearance, all passed
+through their minds with the rapidity of lightning.</p>
+
+<p>Sophia, after a moment's hesitation, rallied from her confusion; and her
+natural good sense and ease of manner came to her aid, as she curtsied
+to the stranger and pointed to a seat. Colonel Forrester, who saw at
+once that he had come at an unlucky season, after introducing himself,
+and saying he presumed he was addressing Miss Clements, proceeded
+immediately to explain the reason of his being a day in advance of the
+appointed time. He stated that his mother, on account of the dangerous
+illness of an intimate and valued friend, had been obliged to postpone
+her visit to Philadelphia; and that in consequence of an order from the
+war-office, which required his immediate presence at Washington, he had
+been obliged to leave Boston a day sooner than he intended, and to
+travel with all the rapidity that the public conveyances would admit. He
+had arrived about eight o'clock at the Mansion House Hotel, where a
+dinner was given that evening to a distinguished naval commander.
+Colonel Forrester had immediately been waited upon by a deputation from
+the dinner-table, with a pressing invitation to join the company; and
+this (though he did not then allude to it) was the reason of his being
+in full uniform. Compelled to pursue his journey very early in the
+morning, he had taken the opportunity, as soon as he could get away from
+the table, of paying his compliments to the ladies, and bringing with
+him a letter to Miss Clements from her brother, whom he had seen in
+passing through New York, and one from his mother for Mrs. Darnel.</p>
+
+<p>Grievously chagrined and mortified as the girls were, they listened
+admiringly to the clear and handsome manner in which the colonel made
+his explanation, and they more than ever regretted that all their
+castles in the air were demolished, and that after this unlucky visit he
+would probably have no desire to see them again, when he came to
+Philadelphia on his return from Washington.</p>
+
+<p>Sophia, who saw at once that she had to deal with a man of tact and
+consideration, felt that an apology for the disorder in which he had
+found them was to him totally unnecessary, being persuaded that he
+already comprehended all she could have said in the way of excuse; and,
+with true civility, she forbore to make any allusion which might remind
+him that his unexpected visit had caused them discomfiture or annoyance.
+Kindred spirits soon understand each other.</p>
+
+<p>The girls were amazed to see their aunt so cool and so much at her ease,
+when her beautiful hair was pinned up, and her beautiful form disfigured
+by a large wrapper. But the colonel had penetration enough to perceive
+that under all these disadvantages she was an elegant woman.</p>
+
+<p>Harriet and Caroline, though longing to join in the conversation, made
+signs to Sophia not to introduce them to the colonel, as they could not
+endure the idea of his attention being distinctly attracted towards
+them; and they perceived that in the fear of adding to their
+embarrassment he seemed to avoid noticing their presence. But they
+contrived to exchange signals of approbation at his wearing the staff
+uniform, with its golden-looking bullet buttons, and its shining star on
+each extremity of the coat skirts.</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Forrester now began to admire a picture that hung over the
+piano, and Sophia took a candle and conducted him to it, that while his
+back was towards them, the girls might have an opportunity of rising and
+slipping out of the room. Of this lucky chance they instantly and with
+much adroitness availed themselves, ran up stairs, and in a shorter time
+than they had ever before changed their dresses, they came back with
+frocks on,&mdash;not, however, the scarlet crape, and the six-flounced
+muslin,&mdash;and with their hair nicely but simply arranged, by parting it
+on their foreheads in front, and turning it in a band round their combs
+behind. Sophia introduced them to the colonel, and they were now able to
+speak; but were still too much discomposed by their recent fright to be
+very fluent, or much at their ease.</p>
+
+<p>In the mean time, their brother Robert had come home from the theatre;
+and the boy's eyes sparkled, when, on Miss Clements presenting her
+nephew, the colonel shook hands with him.</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Forrester began to find it difficult to depart, and he was
+easily induced to stay and partake of the little collation that was on
+the table waiting the return of Robert; and the ease and grace with
+which Sophia did the honours of their <i>petit souper</i> completely charmed
+him.</p>
+
+<p>In conversation, Colonel Forrester was certainly "both sprightly and
+sensible." He had read much, seen much, and was peculiarly happy in his
+mode of expressing himself. Time flew as if</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"&mdash;&mdash;birds of paradise had lent<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Their plumage to his wings,"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>and when the colonel took out his watch and discovered the lateness of
+the hour, the ladies <i>looked</i> their surprise, and his was denoted by a
+very handsome compliment to them. He then concluded his visit by
+requesting permission to resume their acquaintance on his return from
+Washington.</p>
+
+<p>As soon as he had finally departed, and Robert had locked the door after
+him, the girls broke out into a rhapsody of admiration, mingled with
+regret at the state in which he had surprised them, and the entire
+failure of their first impression, which they feared had not been
+retrieved by their second appearance in an improved style.</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Bob, "yours may have been a failure, but I am sure that was
+not the case with Aunt Sophia. It is plain enough that the colonel's
+impression of <i>her</i> turned out very well indeed, notwithstanding that
+she kept on her wrapper, and had her hair pinned up all the time. Aunt
+Sophy is a person that a man may fall in love with in any dress; that
+is, a man who has as much sense as herself."</p>
+
+<p>"As I am going to be a midshipman," continued Robert, "there is one
+thing I particularly like in Colonel Forrester, which is, that he is not
+in the least jealous of the navy. How handsomely he spoke of the
+sea-officers!"</p>
+
+<p>"A man of sense and feeling," observed Sophia, "is rarely susceptible of
+so mean a vice as jealousy."</p>
+
+<p>"How animated he looked," pursued the boy, "when he spoke of Midshipman
+Hamilton arriving at Washington with the news of the capture of the
+Macedonian, and going in his travelling dress to Mrs. Madison's ball, in
+search of his father the secretary of the navy, to show his despatches
+to him, and the flag of the British frigate to the President, carrying
+it with him for the purpose. No wonder the dancing ceased, and the
+ladies cried."</p>
+
+<p>"Did you observe him," said Harriet, "when he talked of Captain
+Crowninshield going to Halifax to bring home the body of poor Lawrence,
+in a vessel of his own, manned entirely by twelve sea-captains, who
+volunteered for the purpose?"</p>
+
+<p>"And did not you like him," said Caroline, "when he was speaking of
+Perry removing in his boat from the Lawrence to the Niagara, in the
+thickest of the battle, and carrying his flag on his arm? And when he
+praised the gallant seamanship of Captain Morris, when he took advantage
+of a tremendous tempest to sail out of the Chesapeake, where he had been
+so long blockaded by the enemy, passing fearlessly through the midst of
+the British squadron, not one of them daring, on account of the storm,
+to follow him to sea and fight him."</p>
+
+<p>"The eloquence of the colonel seems to have inspired you all," said
+Sophia.</p>
+
+<p>"Aunt Sophy," remarked Caroline, "at supper to-night, did you feel as
+firm in your resolution of never marrying an officer, as you were at the
+tea-table?"</p>
+
+<p>"Colonel Forrester is not the only agreeable man I have met with,"
+replied Miss Clements, evading the question. "It has been my good
+fortune to know many gentlemen that were handsome and intelligent."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Robert, "one thing is plain enough to me, that Colonel
+Forrester is exactly suited to Aunt Sophy, and he knows it himself."</p>
+
+<p>"And now, Bob," said Sophia, blushing, "light your candle, and go to
+bed."</p>
+
+<p>"Bob is right," observed Harriet, after he had gone; "I saw in a moment
+that such a man as Colonel Forrester would never fancy <i>me</i>."</p>
+
+<p>"Nor me," said Caroline.</p>
+
+<p>Sophia kissed her nieces with more kindness than usual as they bade her
+good-night. And, they, retired to bed impatient for the arrival of
+morning, that they might give their mother all the particulars of
+Colonel Forrester's visit.</p>
+
+<p>In a fortnight, he returned from Washington, and this time he made his
+first visit in the morning, and saw all the ladies to the best
+advantage. His admiration of Sophia admitted not of a doubt. Being
+employed for the remainder of the winter on some military duty in
+Philadelphia, he went for a few days to Boston and brought his mother
+(whose friend had recovered from her illness), to fulfil her expected
+visit. The girls found Mrs. Forrester a charming woman, and, fortunately
+for them, very indulgent to the follies of young people. The colonel
+introduced to them various officers that were passing through the city,
+so that they really <i>did</i> walk in Chestnut street with gentlemen in
+uniform, and sat in boxes with them at the theatre.</p>
+
+<p>Before the winter was over, Sophia Clements had promised to become Mrs.
+Forrester as soon as the war was at an end. This fortunate event took
+place sooner than was expected, the treaty having been made, though it
+did not arrive, previous to the victory of New Orleans. The colonel
+immediately claimed the hand of the lady, and the wedding and its
+preparations, by engaging the attention of Harriet and Caroline, enabled
+them to conform to the return of peace with more philosophy than was
+expected. The streets no longer resounded with drums and fifes. Most of
+the volunteer corps disbanded themselves&mdash;the army was reduced, and the
+officers left off wearing their uniforms, except when at their posts.
+The military ardour of the young ladies rapidly subsided&mdash;citizens were
+again at par&mdash;and Harriet and Caroline began to look with complacence on
+their old admirers. Messrs. Wilson and Thomson were once more in
+favour&mdash;and, seeing the coast clear, they, in process of time, ventured
+to propose, and were thankfully accepted.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="PETER_JONES" id="PETER_JONES"></a>PETER JONES.</h2>
+
+<h3>A SKETCH FROM LIFE.</h3>
+
+<blockquote><p>"Let the players be cared for."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>In the early part of the present century, there lived in one of the long
+streets in the south-eastern section of Philadelphia, a tailor, whom we
+shall introduce to our readers by the name of Peter Jones. His
+old-fashioned residence, which (strange to say) is yet standing, was not
+then put out of countenance by the modern-built structures that have
+since been run up on each side of it. There were, it is true, three or
+four new houses nearly opposite, all of them tenanted by genteel
+families&mdash;but Peter's side of the way (at least for the length of a
+square), was yet untouched by the hand of improvement, his own domicile
+being the largest and best in the row, and moreover of three stories&mdash;an
+advantage not possessed by the others. It had a square-topped door
+lighted by three small square panes&mdash;the parlour window (there was but
+one) being glazed to match, also with small glass and heavy wood work.
+The blue-painted wooden door-step was furnished with a very convenient
+seat, denominated the porch, and sheltered above by a moss-grown
+pent-house. The whole front of the mansion was shaded by an enormous
+buttonwood tree, that looked as if it had been spared from the primeval
+forest by the axe of a companion of William Penn. The house, indeed,
+might have been the country seat of one of the early colonists. Under
+this tree stood a pump of excellent water.</p>
+
+<p>Adjoining to the house was a little low blue frame, fronting also the
+street&mdash;and no ground speculator could pass it without sighing to think
+that so valuable a lot should be thus wasted. But Peter Jones owned both
+house and shop&mdash;his circumstances were comfortable, his tastes and
+ideas the reverse of elegant, and he had sense enough to perceive that
+in attempting a superior style of life he should be out of his element,
+and therefore less happy. Assisted at times by a journeyman, he
+continued to work at his trade because he was used to it, and that he
+might still have the enjoyment of making clothes for three or four
+veterans of the revolution; and also for two old judges, who had been in
+Congress in those sensible times when that well-chosen body acted more
+and talked less. All these sexagenarians, having been enamoured of Peter
+Jones's cut when he was the Watson of his day, still retained their
+predilection for it; liking also to feel at ease in their own clothes,
+and not to wear garments that seemed as if borrowed from "the sons of
+little men." These gentlemen of the old school never passed without
+stopping at the shop window to chat a few words with Peter; sometimes
+stepping in, and taking a seat on his green Windsor chair&mdash;himself
+always occupying the shop-board, whether he was at work or not.</p>
+
+<p>Our hero, though a tailor, was a tall, stout, ruddy, well-looking old
+man, having a fine capacious forehead, thinly shaded with gray hair,
+which was tied behind in a queue, and a clear, lively blue eye. He had
+acquired something of a martial air while assisting in the war of
+Independence, by making regimental coats&mdash;and no doubt this assistance
+was of considerable importance to the cause, it being then supposed that
+all men, even Americans, fight better, and endure hardships longer, when
+dressed in uniform.</p>
+
+<p>Peter Jones was a very popular man among his neighbours, being frank,
+good-natured, and clever in all manner of things. As soon as the new
+houses opposite were occupied, he made acquaintance with their
+inhabitants, who all regarded him as what is called a character; and he
+never abused the degree of familiarity to which they admitted him. He
+was considered a sort of walking directory&mdash;but when applied to, by a
+new settler, for the "whereabout" of a carpenter who might be wanted for
+a job, his usual answer was&mdash;"I believe I will bring over my saw and
+plane, and do it myself"&mdash;also, if a lock-smith or bell-hanger was
+inquired for, Peter Jones generally came himself, and repaired the lock
+or re-fixed the bell; just as skilfully as if he had been "to the manner
+born."</p>
+
+<p>He took several of the opposite gardens under his special protection,
+and supplied them with seeds and roots from his own stock. He was as
+proud of their morning-glories, queen margarets, johny-jump-ups,
+daffydowndillies (for so in primitive parlance he called all these
+beautiful flowers), as if they had been produced in his own rather
+extensive ground, which was always in fine order, and to see which he
+often invited his neighbouring fellow-citizens. In flower season, he was
+rarely seen without a sprig or two in one of the button-holes of his
+lengthy waistcoat, for in warm weather he seldom wore a coat except on
+Sundays and on the Fourth of July, when he appeared in a well-kept,
+fresh-looking garment of bottle-green with large yellow buttons, a very
+long body, and a broad, short skirt.</p>
+
+<p>His wife, Martha, was a plump, notable, quiet, pleasant-faced woman,
+aged about fifty-five, but very old-fashioned in looks and ideas. During
+the morning, when she assisted her servant girl, Mrs. Jones wore a
+calico short gown, a stuff petticoat, and a check-apron, with a close
+muslin cap&mdash;in the afternoon her costume was a calico long gown, a white
+linen apron, and a thinner muslin cap with brown ribbon; and on Sundays
+a silk gown, a clear muslin apron, and a still thinner and much larger
+cap trimmed with gray ribbon. Everything about them had an air of homely
+comfort, and they lived plainly and substantially. Peter brought home
+every morning on his arm an amply-filled market basket; but on Sundays
+their girl was always seen, before church time, carrying to the baker's
+a waiter containing a large dish that held a piece of meat mounted on a
+trivet with abundance of potatoes around and beneath, and also a huge
+pudding in a tin pan.</p>
+
+<p>Peter Jones, who proportioned all his expenses so as to keep an even
+balance, allowed himself and his wife to go once in the season to the
+theatre, and that was on the anniversary of their wedding, an event of
+which he informed his neighbours he had never found cause to repent.
+This custom had been commenced the first year of their marriage, and
+continued ever since; and as their plays were few and far between, they
+enjoyed them with all the zest of novices in the amusement. To them
+every actor was good, and every play was excellent; the last being
+generally considered the best. They were not sufficiently familiar with
+the drama to be fastidious in their taste; and happily for them, they
+were entirely ignorant of both the theory and practice of criticism. To
+them a visit to the theatre was a great event; and on the preceding
+afternoon the neighbours always observed symptoms of restlessness in
+Peter, and a manifest disinclination to settle himself to anything.
+Before going to bed, he regularly, on the eve of this important day,
+went round to the theatre to look at the bills that are displayed in the
+vestibule a night in advance; being too impatient to wait for the
+announcement in the morning papers. When the play-day actually came, he
+shut up his shop at noon, and they had an earlier and better dinner than
+usual. About three, Peter appeared in full dress with a ruffled shirt
+and white cravat, wandering up and down the pavement, going in and out
+at the front-door, singing, whistling, throwing up his stick and
+catching it, stopping every one he knew, to have a talk with them on
+theatricals, and trying every device to while away the intervening
+hours. At four, the tea-table was set, that they might get over the
+repast in good time, and, as Mrs. Jones said, "have it off their minds."</p>
+
+<p>The play-day was late in the spring, and near the close of the season;
+and while the sun was yet far above the horizon, Mr. and Mrs. Jones
+issued from their door, and walked off, arm-in-arm, with that peculiar
+gait that people always adopt when going to the theatre: he swinging his
+clouded cane with its ivory top and buckskin tassel, and she fanning
+herself already with a huge green fan with black sticks; and ambling
+along in her best shoes and stockings, and her annual silk gown, which,
+on this occasion, she always put on new.</p>
+
+<p>As they went but once a year, they determined on doing the thing
+respectably, and on having the best possible view of the stage;
+therefore they always took seats in an upper front box. Arriving so
+early, they had ample time to witness the gradual filling of the house,
+and to conjecture who was coming whenever a box door was thrown open. To
+be sure, Peter had frequent recourse to his thick, heavy, but unerring
+silver watch, and when he found that it still wanted three quarters of
+an hour of the time for the curtain to rise, his wife sagely remarked to
+him that it was better to be even two hours too early than two minutes
+too late; and that they might as well get over the time in sitting in
+the play-house as in sitting at home. Their faces always brightened
+exceedingly when the musicians first began to emerge from the subterrany
+below, and took their places in the orchestra. Mrs. Jones pitied
+extremely those that were seated with their backs to the stage, and
+amusing herself with counting the fiddles, and observing how gradually
+they diminished in size from the bass viol down; till her husband
+explained to her that they diminished up rather than down, the smallest
+fiddle being held by the boss or foreman of the band. Great was their
+joy (and particularly that of Peter), when the increasing loudness of
+the instruments proclaimed that the overture was about to finish; when
+glimpses of feet appearing below the green curtain, denoted that the
+actors were taking their places on the stage, when the welcome tingle of
+the long-wished-for bell turned their eyes exultingly to the upward
+glide of the barrier that had so long interposed between them and
+felicity.</p>
+
+<p>Many a listless and fastidious gentleman, having satiated himself with
+the theatre by the nightly use of a season ticket (that certain
+destroyer of all relish for dramatic amusements), might have envied in
+our plain and simple-minded mechanic the freshness of sensation, the
+unswerving interest, and the unqualified pleasure with which he regarded
+the wonders of the histrionic world.</p>
+
+<p>To watch Peter Jones at his annual play was as amusing as to look at the
+performance itself (and sometimes much more so), such was his earnest
+attention, and his vivid enjoyment of the whole; as testified by the
+glee of his laugh, the heartiness of his applause, and the energy with
+which he joined in an encore. If it chanced to be a tragedy, he consoled
+his wife in what she called the "forepart of her tears," by reminding
+her that it was only a play; but as the pathos of the scene increased,
+he always caught himself first wiping his eyes with the back of his
+hand; then blowing his nose, trumpetwise, with his clean bandanna
+pocket-handkerchief; and then calling himself a fool for crying. Like
+Addison's trunk-maker, he frequently led the clap; and on Peter Jones's
+night there was certainly more applause than usual. The kindness of his
+heart, however, would never allow him to join in a hiss, assuring those
+about him that the actors and the play-writers always did their best,
+and that if they failed it was their misfortune, and not their fault.</p>
+
+<p>That all the old observances of the theatre might be duly observed, he
+failed not to produce between the play and farce an ample supply of what
+children denominate "goodies," as a regale for Mrs. Jones and himself;
+also presenting them all round to every one within his reach; and if
+there were any little boys and girls in the vicinity, he always produced
+a double quantity.</p>
+
+<p>It is unnecessary to say that Mr. and Mrs. Jones always stayed to the
+extreme last; not quitting their seats till the curtain had descended to
+the very floor, and shut from their view, for another year, the bows
+and curtsies of the actors at the final of the <i>finale</i> in the
+concluding scene of the after-piece. Then our happy old couple walked
+leisurely home, and had a supper of cold meat and pickles, and roasted
+potatoes; and talked of the play over the supper-table; and also over
+the breakfast-table next morning; and also to all their acquaintances
+for a month or two afterwards.</p>
+
+<p>In those days, when Peter Jones found the enjoyment of one play
+sufficient to last him a twelvemonth, the Philadelphia theatre was in
+its "high and palmy state." There was an excellent stock company, with a
+continual succession of new pieces, or judicious revivals of old ones of
+standard worth. The starring system, as it is called, did not then
+prevail. The performers, having permanent engagements, were satisfied to
+do their duty towards an audience with whose tastes they were familiar.
+Each actor could play an infinite number of parts&mdash;each singer could
+sing an infinity of songs&mdash;and all considered it a portion of their
+business to learn new characters, or new music.</p>
+
+<p>Having seen Mr. Bluster in Hamlet, Pierre, and Romeo, we were not
+expected, after a short interval, to crowd again to the theatre to
+applaud Mr. Fluster in Romeo, Pierre, and Hamlet. Having laughed
+sufficiently at Mr. Skipabout in Young Rapid, Bob Handy, and Rover, we
+were not then required, in the lapse of a few weeks, to laugh likewise
+at Mr. Tripabout in Rover, Bob Handy, and Young Rapid. Also, if we had
+been properly enraptured with Madam Dagolini Dobson in Rosina and
+Rosetta, we were not compelled, almost immediately, to re-prepare our
+<i>bravos</i> and <i>bravissimas</i> for Madame Jomellini Jobson in Rosetta and
+Rosina.</p>
+
+<p>The list of acting plays was not then reduced to about five comedies,
+and six tragedies; served out night after night, not in the alternate
+variety of one of each sort successively, but with a course of tragedy
+for a hero of the buskin, and a course of comedy for the fortunate man
+that was able to personate a lively <i>gentleman</i>. Neither were the lovers
+of vocal harmony obliged to content themselves with the perpetual
+repetition of four musical pieces, regularly produced, "when certain
+stars shot madly from their spheres" in the brilliant and <i>recherché</i>
+opera-houses of Europe (where princes and kings pay for a song in
+diamonds), to waste their glories on yankees, buckeyes, and tuckahoes,
+whose only idea of pay is in the inelegant form of things called
+dollars.</p>
+
+<p>It is true that in those days the machinery and decorations of the
+Philadelphia stage, and the costume of the actors, were far inferior to
+the <i>materiel</i> of the present time; but there was always a regular
+company of sterling excellence, the pieces were various and well
+selected, and the audience was satisfied.</p>
+
+<p>Years had passed on, and Peter and Martha Jones were still "keeping the
+even tenor of their way," and enjoying the anniversary play with all
+their might, when a house on the other side of the street was taken by a
+respectable hair-dresser, whose window soon exhibited all the emblems of
+his profession, arranged with peculiar taste, and among them an unusual
+assortment of wigs for both sexes.</p>
+
+<p>Now, if Mrs. Jones had a failing (and who is perfect), it was in
+indulging a sort of anti-barber prejudice, very unaccountable,
+certainly&mdash;but so are most prejudices. This induced her rather to
+discourage all demonstrations of her husband's usual disposition to make
+acquaintance with the new neighbours, whom she set down in her own mind
+as "queer people"&mdash;a very comprehensive term. To be sure, Mr. Dodcomb's
+looks and deportment differed not materially from those of any other
+hair-dresser; but Peter Jones could not help agreeing that the
+appearance of his family were much at variance with the imputed virtues
+of the numerous beautifying specifics that were set forth in his shop.
+For instance, notwithstanding the infallibility of his lotions and
+emollients, and creams and pastes, the face and neck of Mrs. Dodcomb
+obstinately persisted in remaining wrinkled, yellow, speckled, and
+spotty. And in spite of Macassar oil, and bear's oil, and other certain
+promoters of luxuriant, soft, and glossy tresses, her locks continued
+scanty, stringy, stiff, and disorderly. By-the-bye, though there were
+"plenty more in the shop," she always wore a comb whose teeth were "few
+and far between."</p>
+
+<p>Though Mr. Dodcomb professed to cut hair in a style of unrivalled
+elegance, the hair of his children was sheared to the quick, their heads
+looking nearly as bald as if shaved with a razor; and this phrenological
+display was rather unbecoming to the juvenile Dodcombs, as their ears
+were singularly prominent and donkey-like. Then as to skin, the faces of
+the boys were sadly freckled, and those of the girls surprisingly coarse
+and rough.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Jones came to a conclusion that their new neighbour must be a
+remarkably close man, and unwilling to waste any of his stock in trade
+upon his own family; and Peter thought it would be more politic in Mr.
+Dodcomb to use his wife and children as pattern cards, exhibiting on
+their heads and faces the success of his commodities; which Mrs. Jones
+unamiably suspected to be all trash and trickery, and far inferior to
+plain soap and water.</p>
+
+<p>Things were in this state when election day came; and on the following
+morning Mr. Dodcomb came over to look at Mr. Jones's newspaper, and see
+the returns of the city and county; complaining that ever since he had
+lived in the neighbourhood, his own paper had been shamefully purloined
+from the handle of the door so early as before the shop was open. To
+steal a newspaper appeared to honest Peter the very climax of felony,
+for, as he said, it was stealing a man's sense and knowledge; and, being
+himself the earliest riser in the neighbourhood, he volunteered to watch
+for the offender. This he did by rising with the first blush of dawn,
+and promenading the pavement, stick in hand. It was not long before he
+discovered the abstractor in the person of an ever-briefless lawyerling,
+belonging to the only family in the neighbourhood who professed
+aristocracy, and discountenanced Peter Jones. And our indignant old hero
+saw "the young gentleman of rank" issue scarcely half dressed from his
+own door, pounce rapidly upon the newspaper, and carry it off. "Stop
+thief!&mdash;stop thief!" was loudly vociferated by Peter, who, brandishing
+his stick, made directly across the street, and the astonished culprit
+immediately dropped the paper, and took refuge in his own patrician
+mansion.</p>
+
+<p>As soon as the Dodcomb house was opened, Peter Jones went over with the
+trophy of his success. Mr. Dodcomb was profuse of thanks, making some
+remarkably handsome speeches on the occasion, and Peter went home and
+assured his wife that, though a barber, their new neighbour was a very
+clever man and well worth knowing. Mrs. Jones immediately saw things in
+their proper light, did not perceive that the Dodcombs were at all
+queerer than other people, concluded that they had a right to look as
+they pleased, and imputed their indifference to hair and cosmetics to
+the probability that they were surfeited with the sight of both; as
+confectioners never eat cakes, and shoemakers' families are said to go
+barefoot.</p>
+
+<p>The same evening, Mrs. Jones accompanied her husband to make a
+neighbourly visit to the Dodcombs, whom, to their great surprise, they
+found to be extremely <i>au-fait</i> of the theatre; Mr. Dodcomb being barber
+to that establishment, and his sister-in-law, Miss Sarah Ann Flimbrey,
+one of the dressmakers.</p>
+
+<p>The progress of the intimacy between the Jones and Dodcomb families now
+increased rapidly, making prodigious strides every day. By the next
+week, which was the beginning of January, they had made up a party to go
+together to the theatre on New Year's night; Peter Jones having been
+actually and wonderfully over-persuaded to break through his
+time-honoured custom of going but once a twelvemonth. The Dodcombs had
+an irregular way of seeing the plays from between the scenes, from the
+flies over the stage, and from all other inconvenient and uncomfortable
+places where they could slip in "by virtue of their office;" but on New
+Year's night they always went in form, taking a front box up stairs,
+that their children might have an uninterrupted view of the whole show;
+Mr. Dodcomb on that evening employing a deputy to arrange the heads of
+the performers.</p>
+
+<p>Early on New Year's morning, Peter Jones put into the hands of his
+neighbour two dollars, to pay for the tickets of himself and wife; and
+during the remainder of the day (which, fortunately for him, was at this
+season a very short one) he had his usual difficulty in getting through
+the time.</p>
+
+<p>It was in vain that the Joneses were dressed at an early hour and had
+their usual early tea. The Dodcombs (to whom the theatre was no novelty)
+did not hurry with <i>their</i> preparations, and on Peter going over to see
+if they were ready, he found them all in their usual dishabille, and
+their maid just beginning to set the tea-table. That people (under any
+circumstances) could be so dilatory with a play in prospect, presented
+to the mind of the astonished Peter a new view of the varieties of the
+human species. But as all things must have an end, so at last had the
+tea-drinking of the Dodcombs; and luckily their toilets did not occupy
+much time, for they only put themselves in full dress from their waist
+upward; to the great surprise of Mrs. Jones, who was somewhat
+scandalized at their oldish shoes and dirtyish stockings.</p>
+
+<p>To the utter dismay of the Joneses, the curtain, for the first time in
+their lives, was up when they arrived; and to this misfortune the
+Dodcombs did not seem to attach the least consequence, assuring them
+that in losing the first scene of a play they lost nothing.</p>
+
+<p>The five children were ranged in front, each of the three girls wearing
+a rose-bud on one side of her closely trimmed head, which rose-bud, as
+Mrs. Jones afterwards averred to her husband, must have been stuck there
+and held in its place by some hocus pocus, which no one but a play-house
+barber could contrive or execute. During the progress of the play, which
+was a melo-drama of what is called "thrilling interest," Peter Jones,
+who always himself paid the most exemplary attention to the scene before
+him, was annoyed to find that his wife was continually drawn in to talk,
+by the example of Mrs. Dodcomb and Miss Flimbrey, one of whom sat on
+each side of her, and who both kept up a running fire of questions,
+answers, and remarks during the whole of the performance&mdash;plays, as they
+said, being mere drugs to them.</p>
+
+<p>"How do you like that scarlet and gold dress?" said Mrs. Dodcomb.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! it's beautiful!" replied Mrs. Jones, "and he's a beautiful man that
+wears it! What handsome legs he has?&mdash;and what a white neck for a
+man!&mdash;and such fine curly hair&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"You would not say so," said Mrs. Dodcomb, "if you were to see him in
+daylight without his paint, and without his chestnut wig (they have all
+sorts of wigs, even flax, tow, and yarn). His natural face and hair are
+both of the same clay-colour. As to his neck, it's nothing when it is
+not coated all over with whitening&mdash;and then his stage legs are always
+padded."</p>
+
+<p>"Mr. Jones, you are a judge of those things&mdash;what do you suppose that
+man's dress is made of?" asked Mr. Dodcomb.</p>
+
+<p>"Scarlet cloth and gold lace."</p>
+
+<p>"Fudge! it's only red flannel, trimmed with copper binding."</p>
+
+<p>"I'm sorry to hear that," observed Mrs. Jones&mdash;and during the remainder
+of the piece she designated him as "the man in the flannel jacket."</p>
+
+<p>"That's a pretty hat of his sweetheart's," she remarked, "that gauze hat
+with the long white feathers&mdash;how light and airy it looks!"</p>
+
+<p>Miss Flimbrey now giggled. "I made it myself, this morning," said she,
+"it's only thin catgut, with nothing at all outside&mdash;but at a distance,
+it certainly may be taken for transparent gauze."</p>
+
+<p>From this time Mrs. Jones distinguished the actress as "the woman with
+the catgut hat."</p>
+
+<p>The hero of the piece appeared in a new and magnificent dress, which was
+very much applauded, as new and showy dresses frequently are. It was a
+purple velvet, decorated profusely with gold ornaments, somewhat
+resembling rows of very large buttons; each button being raised or
+relieved in the centre, and having a flat rim round the edge. They went
+up all the seams of the back, and down the front of the jacket, and
+round the cuffs; and, being very bright and very close together, the
+effect was rich and unique. Also, one of them fastened the plume and
+looped up the hat, and two others glittered in the rosettes of the
+shoes.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! how grand!&mdash;how very grand!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones. "This dress
+beats all the others!"</p>
+
+<p>"Upon my word, that trimming is fine," said Peter.</p>
+
+<p>"Ain't they big gold buttons, put very close together?" asked his wife.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, no," replied Peter. "They ain't buttons at all&mdash;not one of them.
+Surely I ought to know buttons, when they <i>are</i> buttons. I can't make
+out these things exactly. But they're handsome, however."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Dodcomb now began to laugh. "I'll tell you," said he, "the history
+of these new-fashioned ornaments. It was a bright idea of the actor's
+own when he was planning his new dress. He went to one of the great
+hardware stores in Market Street, and bought I don't know how many gross
+of those shining covers that are put over the screw-holes of bedsteads
+to hide the screws, and that are fastened on by a small thing at the top
+of each, like a loop, having a hole for a little screw, to fix them
+tight in their places. And these holes in the loops were just convenient
+for the needle to go through when they were sewed on to the dress. So
+you see what a good show they make now."</p>
+
+<p>"Of all contrivances!" exclaimed Peter. "To think that bed-screw covers
+should trim so well!"</p>
+
+<p>"Wonders will never cease!" ejaculated Mrs. Jones. And whenever the
+actor reappeared, she jogged her husband, and reminded him that "here
+came the man all over bed-screws."</p>
+
+<p>"What beautiful lace cuffs and collars all those gentlemen have, that
+are gallanting the ladies to the feast!" said Mrs. Jones.</p>
+
+<p>"Cut paper, my dear&mdash;only cut paper," replied Mrs. Dodcomb. "Sally
+Flimbrey cuts them out herself&mdash;don't you, Sally?"</p>
+
+<p>Miss Flimbrey (who was not proud), nodded in the affirmative&mdash;"You would
+never guess," said she, "my dear Mrs. Jones, what odd contrivances they
+have&mdash;did you observe the milk-maid's pail in the cottage scene?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes&mdash;it was full to the brim of fine frothy new milk&mdash;I should like to
+have taken a drink of it."</p>
+
+<p>"You would have found it pretty hard to swallow, for it was only cotton
+wadding," said Miss Flimbrey.</p>
+
+<p>"Well now! if ever I heard the beat of that!" interjected Mrs. Jones.</p>
+
+<p>"How do you like the thunder and lightning?" said Mr. Dodcomb to Mr.
+Jones.</p>
+
+<p>"It's fine," replied Peter, "and very natural."</p>
+
+<p>"I'll tell you what it is," replied Dodcomb, "the lightning is made by
+sprinkling a handful of powdered rosin into a ladle heated over a pan of
+charcoal. A man stands between the scenes and does it whenever a flash
+is wanted. The thunder is produced by a pair of cannon balls joined
+across a bar to which is fixed a long wooden handle like the tongue of a
+child's basket wagon, and by this the balls are pushed and hauled about
+the floor behind the back scene."</p>
+
+<p>"Astonishing!" exclaimed Mr. Jones. "But the rattling of the
+rain&mdash;<i>that</i> sounds just as if it was real."</p>
+
+<p>"The rain!" answered Mr. Dodcomb. "Oh, the rain is done by a tall wooden
+case, something on the plan of a great hour glass, lined with tin and
+filled half full with small shot, which when the case is set on end,
+dribbles gradually down and rattles as it falls."</p>
+
+<p>"Dear me," ejaculated Mrs. Jones, "what a wonderful thing is knowledge
+of the stage! I never <i>shall</i> see a thunder-gust again (at the
+play-house, I mean) without thinking all the time of rosin and ladles,
+and cannon balls with long handles, and the dribbling of shot."</p>
+
+<p>"Then for snow," pursued Mr. Dodcomb, "they snip up white paper into
+shreds, and carry it up to the flies or beams and rafters above the
+stage, and scatter it down by handfuls."</p>
+
+<p>"You don't say so!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Well&mdash;now the storm is over," said Mrs. Dodcomb, "and here is a castle
+scene by moonlight."</p>
+
+<p>"And a very pretty moon it is," observed Mrs. Jones, "all solemn and
+natural."</p>
+
+<p>"Not very solemn to me," said Mr. Dodcomb, "as I know it to be a bit of
+oiled linen let into a round hole in the back scene, with a candle put
+behind it."</p>
+
+<p>"Wonders will never cease!" ejaculated Mrs. Jones. "And there's an owl
+sitting up in that old tumble-down tower&mdash;how natural he blinks!"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," said Mr. Dodcomb, "his eyes are two doors, with a string to each;
+and a man climbs up behind, and keeps jerking the doors open and letting
+them shut again&mdash;that's the way to make an owl blink. But here comes the
+bleeding ghost, that wanders about the ruins by moonlight."</p>
+
+<p>The children all drew back a little, and looked somewhat frightened; it
+happening to be the first ghost they had ever seen.</p>
+
+<p>"Dear me!" said Mrs. Jones, drawing her shawl closely round her, "what
+an awful sight a ghost is, even when we know it's only a play-actor!
+This one seem to have no regular clothes, but only those white fly-away
+things&mdash;how deadly pale it is&mdash;and just look at the blood, how it keeps
+streaming down all the time from that great gash in the breast!"</p>
+
+<p>"As to the paleness," explained Miss Flimbrey, "it's only that the face
+is powdered thick all over with flour; and as to what looks to you like
+blood, it's nothing but red ribbon, gathered a little full at the top
+where the wound is, and the ends left long to flow down the white
+drapery."</p>
+
+<p>"Why this beats all the rest!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones, "Well&mdash;I never
+<i>shall</i> see a bloody ghost again without thinking of meal and red
+ribbon."</p>
+
+<p>Previous to the last act of the melo-drama, a man belonging to the
+theatre came and called Mr. Dodcomb out of the box to ask him if he
+would be so obliging as to go on the stage for a senator in the trial
+scene, one of the big boys that usually assisted in making out this
+august assemblage having unexpectedly run away and gone to sea. Mr.
+Dodcomb (who was not entirely unused to lending himself to similar
+emergencies) kindly consented; and, after returning to whisper the
+circumstance to his wife, he slipped out unobserved by the rest of the
+party. When the drop-curtain again rose, eight or ten senators, with
+venerable white wigs, were seen sitting in a sort of pews, and wearing
+pink robes and ermine capes; which ermine, according to Miss Flimbury,
+was only white paper spotted over with large regular splotches of ink at
+equal distances.</p>
+
+<p>Presently, on recognising their beloved parent among the conscript
+fathers, the Dodcomb children became rather too audible in expressing
+their delight, exclaiming: "Oh! there's pappy. Only see pappy on the
+stage. Don't pappy look funny?"</p>
+
+<p>The pit-people looked up, and the box-people looked round, and Mrs.
+Dodcomb tried to silence the children by threats of making them go home.
+Peter Jones quieted them directly by stopping their mouths with cakes
+from his well-stored pocket; thus anticipating the treat he had provided
+for them as a regale between the play and after-piece.</p>
+
+<p>The scene over, Mr. Dodcomb speedily got rid of his senatorial costume,
+and returned to the box in <i>propriâ personâ</i>, where he was loudly
+greeted by his children, each insisting on being "the one that first
+found out their pappy among the men in wigs and gowns."</p>
+
+<p>"Well if ever!" exclaimed Mr. Jones. "There's no knowing what good's
+before us! Little did we expect when we came here to-night, that we
+should be sitting here in the same box with anybody that ever acted on
+the stage. I am so glad."</p>
+
+<p>The after-piece was the Forty Thieves, which Peter and Mrs. Jones had
+never seen before, and which had extraordinary charms for the old man,
+who in his youth had been well versed in the Arabian Tales. Giving
+himself up, as he always did, to the illusion of the scene, he could
+well have dispensed with the explanations of the Dodcombs, who began by
+informing Mrs. Jones that the fairy Ardanelle, though in her
+shell-formed car she seemed to glide through the water, was in reality
+pulled along by concealed men with concealed ropes.</p>
+
+<p>When the equestrian robbers appeared one by one galloping across the
+distant mountains, and Mrs. Jones had carefully counted them all to
+ascertain that there was the full complement of exactly forty, Miss
+Flimbrey laughed, and assured her that in reality there were only three,
+one mounted on a black, one on a bay, and one on a white horse, but they
+passed round and appeared again, till the precise number was
+accomplished. "And the same thing," said she, "is always done when an
+army marches across the stage, so that a few soldiers are made to seem
+like a great many."</p>
+
+<p>"You perceive, Mrs. Jones," said Mr. Dodcomb, "these robbers that ride
+over the distant mountains are not the real men; but both man and horse
+is nothing more than a flat thin piece of wood painted and cut out."</p>
+
+<p>On Peter remarking that there was certainly a look of life or reality in
+the near leg of each rider as it was thrown over the saddle, Mr. Dodcomb
+explained that each of these equestrian figures was carried by a man
+concealed behind, and that one arm of the man was thrust through an
+aperture at the top of the painted saddle; the arm that hung over so as
+to personate a leg, being dressed in a Turkish trowser, with a boot
+drawn on the hand.</p>
+
+<p>"Do you mean," said Peter, "that these men run along the ridge, each
+carrying a horse under his arm?"</p>
+
+<p>"Exactly so," replied Dodcomb, "the horse and rider of painted board
+being so arranged as to hide the carrier."</p>
+
+<p>"Well&mdash;I never did hear anything so queer," said Mrs. Jones, "I wonder
+how they can keep their countenances. But, there are so many queer
+things about play-acting. Dear me! what a pug-nose that cobbler has! Let
+me look at the bill and see who he is&mdash;why I saw the same man in the
+play, and his nose was long and straight."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! when he wants a snub nose," replied Miss Flimbrey, "he ties up the
+end with a single horse-hair fastened round his forehead, and the horse
+hair is too fine to be seen by the audience."</p>
+
+<p>During the scene in which Morgiana destroys the thieves, one at a time,
+by pouring a few drops of the magic liquid into the jars in which they
+are hidden, Mrs. Jones found out of her own accord that the jars were
+only flat pieces of painted board; but Mrs. Dodcomb made her observe
+that as each of the dying bandits uttered distinctly his own separate
+groan, the sound was in reality produced from the orchestra, by he of
+the bass viol giving his bow a hard scrub across the instrument.</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Mrs. Jones on her way home, "now that my eyes are opened, I
+must say there is a great deal of deception in plays."</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure there is," replied Peter, "and that we knew all along, or
+might have known if we had thought about it; but people that go to the
+theatre only once a year are quite willing to take things as they see
+them; and they have pleasure enough in the play itself and in what
+passes before their eyes, without wondering or caring about the
+contrivances behind the scenes. I never supposed their finery to be
+real, or their handsome looks either; but that was none of our business,
+as long as they appeared well to us&mdash;I said nothing to <i>you</i>, for I know
+if you were once put on the scent, you would be the whole time trying to
+find out their shams and trickeries."</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, while talking over the play in Peter's shop, Mr. Dodcomb
+kindly volunteered to procure for him and Mrs. Jones, bones or orders
+from the managers or chief performers, that would insure a gratuitous
+admission. Peter, much as he liked plays, demurred awhile about availing
+himself of this neighbourly offer, but the urgency of his wife prevailed
+on him to consent; and a day or two after, Mr. Dodcomb put into his hand
+two circular pieces of lettered ivory, which on giving them to the
+doorkeeper admitted Mr. and Mrs. Jones to the house for that evening;
+and thus, for the first time in their lives, they found themselves at
+the theatre twice in one week.</p>
+
+<p>In this manner they went again and again; and a visit to the theatre
+soon ceased to be an event. It was no longer eagerly anticipated, and
+minutely remembered. The sight of one play almost effaced the
+recollection of another. The edge of novelty was fast wearing off, and
+the sense of enjoyment becoming blunted in proportion. Weariness crept
+upon them with satiety, and they sometimes even went home before the
+concluding scene of the farce, and at last they did not even stay to see
+the first. Often they caught themselves nodding shamefully during the
+most moral and instructive dialogues of sentimental comedy, and they
+actually slept a duett through the four first acts of the Gamester, in
+which, however, they were accompanied by a large portion of the
+audience.</p>
+
+<p>Their friends the Dodcombs escorted them one afternoon all through the
+interior of the theatre, so that they obtained a full comprehension of
+the whole paraphernalia, with all its illusions and realities; and of
+this knowledge Mrs. Jones made ample use in her comments at night during
+the performance.</p>
+
+<p>As Peter's enjoyment of the drama grew less, he became more fastidious,
+particularly as to the ways and means that were employed to produce
+effect. He now saw the ridicule of the armies of the rival roses being
+represented by half a dozen men, who when they belonged to King Richard
+were distinguished by white stockings, but clapped on red ones when, in
+the next scene, they personated the forces of Richmond. The theatrical
+vision of our hero being cleared and refined, he ceased to perceive a
+moving forest when the progress of Birnam Wood to Dunsinane was
+represented by six or seven men in plaid kilts, each holding up before
+his face, fan-wise, a little bunch of withered pine twigs. He now
+discovered that the proper place for the ghost of Banquo was a seat at
+the table of his murderer, in the midst of the company, and not on a
+modern parlour chair, set conspicuously by itself near one of the stage
+doors. He also perceived that in Antony's oration over Cæsar, the Roman
+populace was illy represented by one boyish-looking, smooth-faced young
+man (plebeians must have been strangely scarce) who at the words, "Good
+friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up to sudden mutiny"&mdash;always
+made sundry futile attempts to look mutinous.<a name="FNanchor_76_76" id="FNanchor_76_76"></a><a href="#Footnote_76_76" class="fnanchor">[76]</a></p>
+
+<p>To conclude&mdash;in the course of that season and the next, Peter Jones and
+his wife by dint of bones and Dodcombs, became so familiar with
+theatricals that they ceased entirely to enjoy them; and it finally
+became a sort of task to go, and a greater task to sit through the play.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Jones thought that the old actors had all fallen off, and that the
+new ones were not so good as the old ones; but her more sagacious
+husband laid the fault to the right cause, which was, "that plays were
+now a drug to them."</p>
+
+<p>The Dodcombs removed to New York, and the Joneses gave up without regret
+the facilities of free admission to the theatre. After a lapse of two
+years, they determined to resume their old and long-tested custom of
+seeing one single play at the close of the season, and on the
+anniversary of their wedding. But the charm was broken, the illusion was
+destroyed; the keenness of their relish was palled by satiety, and could
+revive no more.</p>
+
+<p>In a less humble sphere of life, and in circumstances of far greater
+importance than the play-going of Peter Jones, how often is the
+long-cherished enjoyment of a temperate pleasure destroyed for ever by a
+short period of over-indulgence!</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="THE_OLD_FARM-HOUSE" id="THE_OLD_FARM-HOUSE"></a>THE OLD FARM-HOUSE.</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"Her charm around, the enchantress Memory throws."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Rogers.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>Edward Lindsay had recently returned from Europe, where a long series of
+years passed in the successful prosecution of a lucrative mercantile
+business, had gained for him an independence that in his own country
+would be considered wealth. Continuing in heart and soul an American, it
+was only in the land of his birth, that he could resolve to settle
+himself, and enjoy the fruits of well-directed enterprise, and almost
+uninterrupted good fortune.</p>
+
+<p>Early impressions are lasting; and among the images that frequently
+recurred to the memory of our hero, were those of a certain old
+farm-house in the interior of Pennsylvania, and its kind and
+simple-hearted inhabitants. The farmer, whose name was Abraham Hilliard,
+had been in the practice of occasionally bringing to Philadelphia a
+wagon-load of excellent marketing, and stopping with his team at the
+doors of several genteel families, his unfailing customers. It was thus
+that Mr. and Mrs. Lindsay obtained a knowledge of him, which eventually
+induced them to place in his house, as a boarder, their only surviving
+child Edward: that during the summer season, the boy, whose constitution
+was naturally delicate, might have a chance of acquiring confirmed
+health and hardihood, united with habits of self-dependence; it being
+clearly understood by all parties, that young Lindsay was to be treated,
+in every respect, like the farmer's own children. The experiment
+succeeded: and it was at Oakland Farm that Edward Lindsay's summers were
+chiefly spent from the age of eight to eighteen, at which time he was
+sent to Bordeaux, and placed in the counting-house of his maternal
+uncle. And twice when Philadelphia was visited by the malignant fever
+which in former years spread such terror through the city, and whose
+ravages were only checked by the return of cold weather, the anxious
+parents of our hero made him stay in the country till the winter had
+fairly set in.</p>
+
+<p>During his long residence in Europe, Edward Lindsay was so unfortunate
+as to lose both father and mother, and, therefore, his arrival in his
+native town was accompanied by many painful feelings. The bustle of the
+city, and the company into which the hospitality of his friends
+endeavoured to draw him, were not in accordance with his present state
+of mind, and he imagined that nothing would be more soothing to him than
+a visit to the country, and particularly to the place where so much of
+his boyhood had been passed. While his mother lived, she had frequently
+sent him tidings of his old friends at Oakland Farm, none of whom were
+letter writers; but since her death, they seemed to be lost sight of,
+and it was now many years since Edward had heard anything of them.</p>
+
+<p>Oakland Farm was not on a public road, and it was some miles remote from
+the route of any public conveyance. As the season was the close of
+spring, and the weather delightful, Lindsay determined to go thither on
+a fine horse that he had recently purchased; taking with him only a
+small valise, it being his intention to remain there but a few days.</p>
+
+<p>He set out in the afternoon, and passed the night at a tavern about ten
+miles from the city, formerly known as the Black Bear, but now dignified
+with the title of the Pennsylvania Hotel, expressed in immense gilt
+letters on a blue board above the door. Lindsay felt something like
+regret at the ejectment of his old acquaintance Bruin, who, proclaiming
+"Entertainment for Man and Horse," had swung so many years on a lofty
+sign-post under the shade of a great buttonwood tree, now cut down to
+make room for four slender Lombardy poplars, which, though out of favour
+in the city, had become fashionable in the country.</p>
+
+<p>We will pass over many other changes which our hero observed about the
+new-modelled inn, and accompany him as he pursued his way along the road
+which had been so familiar to him in his early youth, and which, though
+it retained many of its original features, had partaken greatly of the
+all-pervading spirit of improvement. The hills were still there. The
+beautiful creek, which in England would have been termed a river,
+meandered everywhere just as before, wide, clear, and deep; but its
+rude log bridges had now given place to substantial structures of
+masonry and wood-work, and he missed several well-known tracts of
+forest-land, of which the very stumps had long since been dislodged.</p>
+
+<p>His eye, for years accustomed to the small farms and miniature
+enclosures of Europe, now dwelt with delight on immense fields of grain
+or clover, each of them covering a whole hill, and frequently of such
+extent that a single glance could not take in their limits. He saw vast
+orchards that seemed to contain a thousand trees, now white with
+blossoms that, scattered by the slightest breeze, fell around them like
+showers of scented snow. He missed, it is true, the hawthorn hedges of
+England; those beautiful walls of verdure, whose only fault is that
+their impervious foliage shuts out from view the fields they enclose;
+while the open fences of America allow the stranger to regale his eye,
+and satisfy his curiosity with a free prospect of the country through
+which he is travelling.</p>
+
+<p>Oakland Farm, as we have said, lay some miles from the great highway,
+and Lindsay was glad to find with how much ease he recollected the
+turnings and windings of the by-roads. It even gave him pleasure to
+recognise a glen at the bottom of a ravine thickly shaded with crooked
+and moss-grown trees, where half a century ago a woman had been guilty
+of infanticide, and whose subsequent execution at the county town is
+talked of still; it being apparently as well remembered as an event of
+yesterday. The dogwood and the wild grape vine still canopied the fatal
+spot, for the thicket had never been cleared away, nor the ground
+cultivated. A little beyond, the road lay through a dark piece of woods
+that countrywomen, returning late from the store, were afraid to ride
+through after night-fall; as their horses always started and trembled
+and laid back their ears at the appearance of a mysterious white colt,
+which was frequently seen gamboling among the trees, and which no
+sensible people believed to be a real or living colt, as one horse is
+never frightened at the sight of another. Shortly after, our traveller
+stopped for a few moments to gaze at the transformation of a building on
+the verge of a creek. He had remembered it as a large old house
+chequered with bricks alternately blackish and reddish, and having dark
+red window-shutters with holes cut in them to admit the light; some of
+the apertures being in the form of hearts, others in the shape of
+crescents. There had been a red porch, and a red front door which for
+years had the inconvenient property of bursting open in the dead of
+night; at which time, a noise was always heard as of the hoofs of a calf
+trotting in the dark, about the rooms up stairs. This calf was finally
+spoken to by a very courageous stranger, who inquired its name. The calf
+made not a word of answer, but from that night was heard no more. This
+house, being now painted yellow, and the red shutters removed, had been
+altered into an establishment for carding and spinning wool, as was
+evident by surrounding indications, and by the noise of the machinery,
+which could be heard plainly as far as the road. Lindsay began to fear
+that he should never again see Polly Nichols, a tall, gaunt,
+hard-featured spinning girl, whose untiring strength and immoveable
+countenance, as she ran all day at the "big wheel," had often amazed
+him, and whom Mrs. Hilliard considered as the princess of wool-spinners.
+His conscience reproached him with having one day, while she was at
+dinner, mischievously stolen the wheel-finger of the said Polly Nichols,
+and hidden it in the dough trough, thereby occasioning a long search to
+the industrious damsel, and the loss of an hour's spinning to Mrs.
+Hilliard.</p>
+
+<p>He next came to the old well-known meeting-house, embosomed in large
+elms of aboriginal growth. He saw it as in former days, with its long
+range of stalls for the horses of the congregation, and its square
+horse-blocks at the gate with steps ascending on all their four sides,
+to which the country beaux gallantly led up the steeds of the country
+belles. Just beyond the meeting-house, he looked in vain for a
+well-known little brook, distinguished of old as "Blue Woman's Run," and
+which had formerly crossed the road, murmuring over its bed of pebbles.
+It had derived this cognomen from the singular apparition of a woman in
+a blue gown, with a pail of water on her head, which had on several
+Sundays boldly appeared even in the brightness of the noon-day sun, and
+was seen walking fearlessly among the "meeting folks," and their horses,
+as they stopped to let them drink at the brook; coming no one knew from
+whence, and going no one knew where; but appearing and disappearing in
+the midst of them. But the streamlet was no longer there, diverted
+perhaps to some other channel, and the hollow of its bed was filled up
+and made level with the road.</p>
+
+<p>About two miles further, our hero looked out for a waste field at some
+distance from the road, and distinguished by an antique persimmon tree
+of unusual size. This field he had always known of a wild and desolate
+aspect, bristled with the tall stalks of the mullein. Here, according to
+tradition, had once lived a family of free negroes, probably runaways
+from the south. They had lost their children by an epidemic, buried them
+at the foot of the persimmon tree, and soon after quitted the
+neighbourhood. All vestiges of their hut had vanished long before Edward
+Lindsay had known the place, but the graves of the children might have
+been traced under the grass and weeds. The deserted field had the
+reputation of being haunted, because whoever had the temerity to cross
+it, even in broad daylight, never failed, that is if they had faith, to
+see the faces of two little black boys looking out from behind the tree,
+and laughing merrily. But on approaching the tree no black boys were
+there.</p>
+
+<p>There is considerable variety in American ghosts. In Europe these
+phantoms are nearly all of the same stamp: either tall white females
+that glide by moonlight among the ruined cloisters of old abbeys; or
+pale knights, in dark armour, that wander, at midnight, about the
+turrets and corridors of feudal castles. In our country, apparitions go
+as little by rule as their living prototypes; and are certainly very
+prosaic both in looks and ways.</p>
+
+<p>The old persimmon tree was still there; but the field had been
+cultivated, and was now in red clover, and Lindsay knew that mind had
+marched over it.</p>
+
+<p>He now came to a well-remembered place, the low one-story school-house
+under the shade of a great birch tree, whose twigs had been of essential
+service in the hands of Master Whackaboy, and whose smooth and
+paper-like bark was fashionable in the seminary for writing-pieces. The
+door and windows were open, and Lindsay expected as formerly, to hear
+the master say to his scholars, at the sound of horses' feet&mdash;"Read
+out&mdash;read out&mdash;strangers are going by&mdash;;" which order had always been
+succeeded by a chorus of readers as loud and inharmonious as what
+children call a Dutch Concert. As Lindsay passed the school-house, he
+could not forbear stopping a moment to look in; and instead of Bumpus
+Whackaboy in his round jacket, he saw a young gentleman in a frock coat,
+seated at the master's desk, with an aspect of great satisfaction, while
+a lad stood before him frowning and stamping desperately, and reciting
+Collins's Ode on the Passions.</p>
+
+<p>Our traveller now perceived by certain well-remembered landmarks, that
+he was approaching the mill in whose scales he had frequently been
+weighed: a ceremony never omitted at the close of his annual visit to
+Oakland, that he might go home rejoicing in the number of pounds he had
+gained during his sojourn in the salubrious air and homely abundance of
+the farm. When he came to the place, he found three mills; and he was,
+for a while, puzzled to recollect which of them was his old
+acquaintance. On the other side of the road were now a tavern, a store,
+and a blacksmith's shop, with half a dozen dwelling-houses. "This, I
+suppose, is an incipient city," thought Lindsay&mdash;and so it was, as he
+afterwards found: the name being Candyville, in consequence, perhaps, of
+the people of the neighbourhood having left off tobacco and taken to
+mint-stick, for which, and other <i>bonbons</i> of a similar character, the
+demand was so great that the storekeeper often found it necessary to
+take a journey to the metropolis chiefly for the purpose of bringing out
+a fresh supply.</p>
+
+<p>At length our hero came to a hill beyond which he recollected that a
+turn in the road would present to his view the house of Abraham
+Hilliard, as it stood on the very edge of the farm. It was a lovely
+afternoon. The sunbeams were dancing merrily on the creek, whose shining
+waters beautifully inverted its green banks, overshadowed with laurel
+bushes now in full bloom and covered with large clusters of delicate
+pink flowers.</p>
+
+<p>He saw the top of the enormous oak that stood in front of the house, and
+which had been spared for its size and beauty, when the ground was first
+redeemed from the primeval forest by the grandfather of the present
+proprietor.</p>
+
+<p>Lindsay turned into the lane. What was his amazement when he saw not, as
+he expected, the well-known farm-house and its appurtenances!&mdash;It was no
+longer there. The dilapidated ruins of the chimney alone were standing,
+and round them lay a heap of rubbish. He stopped his horse and gazed
+long and sadly, on finding all his pleasant anticipations turned at once
+to disappointment. Finally he dismounted, and securing his bridle to a
+large nail which yet remained in the trunk of the old tree, having been
+placed there for that purpose, he proceeded to take a nearer view of
+what had once been the Oakland Farm-House.</p>
+
+<p>There were indications of the last fire that had ever gladdened the
+hearth, the charred remains of an immense backlog, now half hidden
+beneath a luxuriant growth of the dusky and ragged-leaved Jamestown
+weed. In a corner of the hearth grew a sumach that bid fair in a short
+time to overtop all that was left of the chimney. These corners had once
+been furnished with benches on which the children used to sit and amuse
+themselves with stories and riddles, in the cold autumnal evenings, when
+fires are doubly cheerful from being the first of the season.</p>
+
+<p>Of the long porch in which they had so often played by moonlight,
+nothing now remained but a few broken and decaying boards with grass and
+plantain-weeds growing among them; and some relics of the rough stone
+steps that had ascended to it, now displaced and fallen aside by the
+caving in of the earth behind.</p>
+
+<p>The well that had supplied the family with cold water for drinking, had
+lost its cover&mdash;the sweep had fallen down, and the bucket and chain were
+gone. The dark cool cellar was laid open to the light of day, and was
+now a deep square pit, overgrown with thistles and toad-flax.</p>
+
+<p>From the cracks of the old clay oven that had belonged to the chimney
+(and which was now half hidden in pokeberry plants), issued tufts of
+chick-weed; and when Lindsay looked into the place which he had so often
+seen filled with pies and rice-puddings, the glare of bright eyes and a
+rustling noise denoted that some wild animal had made its lair in the
+cavity. Suddenly a large gray fox sprung out of the oven-mouth, and ran
+fearfully past him into the thicket. Lindsay thought in a moment of the
+often-quoted lines of Ossian.</p>
+
+<p>At the foot of the little eminence on which the house was situated,
+there had formerly been what its inhabitants called the <i>harbour</i>
+(probably a corruption of arbour), a shed rudely constructed of poles
+interwoven with branches, and covered with a luxuriant gourd-vine. Here
+the milk-pans and pails were washed, and much of the "slopping-work" of
+the family done in the summer. A piece of rock formed the back-wall of a
+fire-place in which an immense iron pot had always hung. A slight
+water-gate opened from this place on a branch of the creek, over which a
+broad thick board had been laid as a bridge, and a short distance below
+there was a miniature cascade or fall, at which Edward, in his
+childhood, had erected a small wooden tilt-hammer of his own making; and
+the strokes of this tilt-hammer could be heard, to his great delight, as
+far as the house, particularly in the stillness of night, when the sound
+was doubly audible.</p>
+
+<p>The cauldron had now disappeared, leaving no trace but the blackened
+stone behind it; the remains of the water-gate were lying far up on the
+bank; the board had fallen into the water; the rude trellis was broken
+down; and masses of the gourd-vine, which had sprung from the scattered
+seeds, were running about in wild disorder wherever they could find
+anything to climb upon.</p>
+
+<p>Lindsay turned to the spot "where once the garden smiled," and found it
+a wilderness of tall and tangled weeds, interspersed with three or four
+degenerate hollyhocks, and a few other flowers that had sowed themselves
+and dwindled into insignificance. And in the division appropriated to
+culinary purposes, were some straggling vegetables that had returned to
+a state worse than indigenous&mdash;with half a dozen rambling bushes that
+had long since ceased to bear fruit.</p>
+
+<p>Lindsay had gazed on the gigantic remains of the Roman Coliseum, on "the
+castled crag of Drachenfels," and on the ivy-mantled arches of Tintern,
+but they awakened no sensation that could compare with the melancholy
+feeling that oppressed him as he explored the humble ruins of this
+simple farm-house, where every association came home to his heart,
+reminding him not of what he had read, but of what he had seen, and
+known, and felt, and enjoyed.</p>
+
+<p>As he stood with folded arms contemplating the images of desolation
+before him, his attention was diverted by the sound of footsteps, and,
+on looking round, he perceived an old negro coming down the road, with a
+basket in one hand, and in the other a jug corked with a corn-cob. The
+negro pulled off his battered wool-hat, and making a bow and a scrape,
+said: "Sarvant, masser&mdash;" and Lindsay, on returning his bow, recognised
+the unusual breadth of nose and width of mouth that had distinguished a
+free black, well known in the neighbourhood by the name of Pharaoh, and
+in whom the lapse of time had made no other alteration than that of
+bleaching his wool, which was now quite white.</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Pharaoh&mdash;my old fellow!" exclaimed Lindsay, "is this really
+yourself?"</p>
+
+<p>"Can't say, masser," replied Pharaoh. "All people's much the same. Best
+not be too personal. But I b'lieve I'm he."</p>
+
+<p>"Have you no recollection of Edward Lindsay?" inquired our hero.</p>
+
+<p>"Lawful heart, masser!" exclaimed the negro. "I do b'lieve you're little
+Neddy, what used to come from town and stay at old Abram Hilliard's of
+summers, and what still kept wisiting there, by times, till you goed
+over sea."</p>
+
+<p>"I am that identical Neddy," replied Lindsay, holding out his hand to
+the old negro, who evinced his delight by a series of loud laughs.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes&mdash;yes," pursued Pharaoh, "now I look sharper at you, masser, I see
+plain you're 'xactly he. You've jist a same nose, and a same eyes, and a
+same mouth, what you had when you tumbled down the well, and fall'd out
+the chestnut tree, and when you was peck'd hard by the big turkey-cock,
+and butted by the old ram."</p>
+
+<p>"Truly," said Lindsay, "you seem to have forgotten none of my juvenile
+disasters."</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure not," replied Pharaoh, "I 'member every one of them, and a
+heap more, only I don't want to be personal."</p>
+
+<p>"And now," said Lindsay, "as we have so successfully identified each
+other, let me know, at once, what has happened to my good friends the
+Hilliards, who I thought were fixed here for life. Why do I see their
+house a heap of ruins? Have the family been reduced to poverty?"</p>
+
+<p>"Lawful heart, no," exclaimed the negro: "Masser Neddy been away so long
+in foreign parts, he forget how when people here in 'Merica give up
+their old houses, it's a'most always acause they've got new ones. Now
+old Abram Hilliard he got richer and richer every minute&mdash;though I guess
+he was pretty rich when you know'd him, only he never let on. And so he
+build him fine stone house beyont his piece of oak-woods, and there he
+live this blessed day.&mdash;And we goes there quite another road.&mdash;And so he
+gove this old frame to old Pharaoh; and so I had the whole house carted
+off, all that was good of it, and put it up on the road-side, just
+beyont here, in place of my old tumble-down cabin what I used to live
+in, that I've altered into a pig-pen. So now me and Binkey am quite
+comfabull."</p>
+
+<p>"Show me the way," said Lindsay, "to the new residence of Mr. Hilliard.
+I have come from Philadelphia on purpose to visit the family."</p>
+
+<p>"Bless your heart, masser, for that," said the old negro, as he held the
+stirrup for Lindsay to mount; and walking by his side, he proceeded with
+the usual garrulity of the African race, to relate many particulars of
+the Hilliards and their transit.</p>
+
+<p>"Of course, Masser Neddy," said Pharaoh, "you 'member old Abram's two
+boys Isaac and Jacob, what you used to play with. You know Isaac mostly
+whipped you when you fout with him. Well, when they growed up, they
+thought they'd help'd their father long enough, and as they wanted right
+bad to go west, the old man gove 'em money to buy back land. So each
+took him horse&mdash;Isaac took Mike, and Jacob took Morgan, and they started
+west, and went to a place away back&mdash;away back&mdash;seven hundred thousand
+miles beyont Pitchburg. And they're like to get mighty rich; and word's
+come as Jacob's neighbours is going to set him up for congress, and I
+shouldn't be the least 'prized if he's presidump. You 'member, Masser
+Neddy, Jacob was always the tonguiest of the two boys."</p>
+
+<p>"And where are Mr. Hilliard's daughters?" asked Lindsay.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, as to the two oldest," replied Pharaoh, "Kitty married Billy
+Pleasants, as keeps the store over at Candyville, and Betsey made a
+great match with a man what has a terrible big farm over on Siskahanna.
+And old Abram, after he got into him new house, sent him two youngest to
+the new school up at Wonderville, where they teaches the gals all sorts
+of wit and larning."</p>
+
+<p>"And how are your own wife and children, Pharaoh?" inquired Lindsay; "I
+remember them very well."</p>
+
+<p>"Bless your heart for that, masser!" replied the negro; "why Rose is
+hired at Abram Hilliard's&mdash;you know they brungt her up. And Cato lives
+out in Philadelphy&mdash;I wonders masser did not see him. And as for old
+Binkey, she holds her own pretty well. You know, masser, Binkey was
+always a great hand at quiltings, and weddings, and buryings, and such
+like frolics, and used to be sent for, high and low, to help cook at
+them times. But now she's a getting old,&mdash;being most a thousand,&mdash;and
+her birthday mostly comes on the forty-second of Feberwary&mdash;and so she
+stays at home, and makes rusk and gingerbread and molasses beer. This is
+molasses I have in the jemmy-john; I've jist come from the store. So she
+sells cakes and beer&mdash;that's the reason we lives on the road-side&mdash;and I
+works about. We used to have a sign that Sammy Spokes the wheelwright
+painted for us, for he was then the only man in these parts that had
+paints. There was two ginger-cakes on it, and one rusk, and a coal-black
+bottle with the beer spouting up high, and falling into a tumbler
+without ever spilling a drap. We were desperate pleased with the sign,
+for folks said it looked so nateral, and Sammy Spokes made us a present
+of it, and would not take it out in cakes and beer, as we wanted him,
+and that shewed him to be very much of a gemplan."</p>
+
+<p>"As no doubt he is," remarked Lindsay; "I find, since my return to
+America, that gentlemen are 'as plenty as blackberries.'"</p>
+
+<p>"You say very true, masser," rejoined the negro; "we are all gemplans
+now-a-days, and has plenty of blackberries. Well, as I was saying, we
+liked the sign a heap. But after Nelly Hilliard as was&mdash;we calls her
+Miss Ellen now&mdash;quit Wonderville school, where she learnt everything on
+the face of the yearth, she thought she would persecute painting at
+home, for she had a turn that way and wanted to keep her hand in. So she
+set to, and painted a new sign, and took it all out of her own head; and
+gove it to old Binkey and axplaned it to us. There's a thing on it that
+Miss Ellen calls a urn or wase&mdash;<i>that</i> stands for beer&mdash;and then there's
+a sugarcane growing out of it&mdash;<i>that</i> stands for molasses. And then
+there's a thick string of green leaves, with roots twisted amongst
+'em&mdash;<i>that</i> answers for ginger, for she told us that ginger grows like
+any other widgable, and has stalks and leaves, but the root is what we
+uses. Yet, somehow, folks doesn't seem to understand this sign as well
+as the old one. A great many thinks the wase be an old sugar-dish with a
+bit of a corn-stalk sticking out of it, and some passley and hossreddish
+plastered on the outside, and say they should never guess cakes and beer
+by it."</p>
+
+<p>"I should suppose not," said Lindsay.</p>
+
+<p>"But, Masser Neddy," pursued the old negro, "all this time, we have been
+calling Abram Hilliard 'Abram,' instead of saying squire. Only think of
+old Abram; he has been made a squire this good while, and marries
+people. After he move into him new house, he begun to get high, and took
+to putting on a clean shirt and shaving every day, which Rose says was a
+pretty tough job with him at first; but he parsewered. And he's apt to
+have fresh meat whenever it's to be got, and he won't eat stale pies:
+and so they have to do small bakings every day, instead of big ones
+twice a week. And sometimes he even go so far as to have geese took out
+of the flock, and killed and roasted, instead of saving 'em all for
+feathers. And he says that now he's clear of the world, he <i>will</i> live
+as he likes, and have everything he wants, and be quite comfabull. And
+he made his old woman leave off wearing short gownds, and put on long
+gownds all the time, and quit calling him daddy, which Rose says went
+very hard with her for a while. The gals being young, were broke of it
+easy enough; and now they says pappy."</p>
+
+<p>"Pshaw!" ejaculated Lindsay, whose regret at the general change which
+seemed to have come over the Hilliard family now amounted nearly to
+vexation.</p>
+
+<p>"Now, Masser Neddy," continued Pharaoh, "we've got to the new
+house&mdash;there it stands, right afore you. An't you 'prised at it? I
+always am whenever I sees it. So please a jump off, and I'll take your
+hoss to the stable, and put him up, and tell the people at the barn that
+Masser Neddy's come; and you can go into the house and speak for
+you'mself."</p>
+
+<p>Lindsay, at parting, put a dollar into the hand of the old negro. "What
+for this, Masser Neddy?" asked Pharaoh, trying to look very
+disinterested.</p>
+
+<p>"Do whatever you please with it," answered Lindsay.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, masser," replied the negro, "I never likes to hurt a gemplan's
+feelings by 'fusing him. So I'll keep it, just to 'blige you. But, I
+'spect, to be sure, Masser Neddy'll step in some day at negor-man's
+cabin, and see old Binkey, and take part of him dollar out in cakes and
+beer. I'll let masser know when Binkey has a fresh baking."</p>
+
+<p>Pharaoh then led off the horse, and Lindsay stood for a few moments to
+take a survey of the new residence of his old friends. It was a broad,
+substantial two-story stone house. There was a front garden, where large
+snow-ball trees</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Threw up their silver globes, light as the foamy surf,"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>and where the conical clusters of the lilac, and the little May roses,
+were bursting into fragrance and beauty, and uniting their odours with
+those of the tall white lily, and the lowly but delicious pink. Behind
+the house ascended a woodland hill, whose trees at this season exhibited
+every shade of green, in tints as various as the diversified browns of
+autumn.</p>
+
+<p>Lindsay found the front door unfastened, and opening it without
+ceremony, he entered a wide hall furnished with a long settee, a large
+table, a hat-stand, a hanging lamp, a map of the United States, and one
+of the world. There was a large parlour on each side of the hall, and
+Lindsay looked into both, the doors being open. One was carpeted, and
+seemed to be fitted up for winter, the other had a matted floor, and was
+evidently the summer sitting-room. The furniture in both, though by no
+means showy, was excellent of its kind and extremely neat; and in its
+form and arrangement convenience seemed to be the chief consideration.
+Lindsay thought he had never seen more pleasant-looking rooms. In the
+carpeted parlour, on the hearth of the Franklin stove, sat a blue china
+jar filled with magnolia flowers, whose spicy perfume was tempered by
+the outer air that came through the venetian blinds which were lowered
+to exclude the sunbeams. One recess was occupied by a mahogany
+book-case, and there was a side-board in the other. The chimney-place of
+the summer parlour was concealed by a drapery of ingeniously cut paper,
+and the various and beautiful flowers that adorned the mantel-piece had
+evidently been cultivated with care. Shelves of books hung in the
+recesses, and in both rooms were sofas and rocking-chairs.</p>
+
+<p>"Is it possible," thought Lindsay, "that this can be the habitation of
+Abraham Hilliard?" And he ran over in his mind the humble aspect of
+their sitting-room in the old farm-house, with its home-made carpet of
+strips of listing; its tall-backed rush chairs; its walnut table; its
+corner cupboard; its hanging shelves suspended from the beams that
+crossed the ceiling, and holding miscellaneous articles of every
+description.</p>
+
+<p>Having satisfied his curiosity by looking into the parlours, he
+proceeded through the hall to the back door, and there he found, in a
+porch canopied with honeysuckle, a woman busily engaged in picking the
+stems from a basket of early strawberries, as she transferred the fruit
+to a large bowl. Time had made so little change in her features, that,
+though much improved in her costume, he easily guessed her to be his old
+hostess Mrs. Hilliard. "Aunt Susan!" he exclaimed; for by that title he
+had been accustomed to address her in his boyhood. The old lady started
+up, and hastily snatched off her strawberry-stained apron.</p>
+
+<p>"Have you no recollection of Edward Lindsay?" continued our hero,
+heartily shaking her hand.</p>
+
+<p>She surveyed him from head to foot, till his identity dawned upon her,
+and then she ejaculated&mdash;"It is&mdash;it must be&mdash;though you are a gentleman,
+you <i>must</i> be little Neddy&mdash;there&mdash;there, sit down&mdash;I'll be back in a
+moment."</p>
+
+<p>She went into the house, and returned almost immediately, bringing with
+her a small coquelicot waiter, with cakes and wine, which she pressed
+Lindsay to partake of. He smiled as he recollected that one of the
+customs of Oakland Farm was to oblige every stranger to eat and drink
+immediately on his arrival. And while he was discussing a cake and a
+glass of wine, the good dame heaped a saucer with strawberries, carried
+it away for a few minutes, and then brought it back inundated with cream
+and sugar. This was also presented to Lindsay, recommending that he
+should eat another cake with the strawberries, and take another glass of
+wine after them.</p>
+
+<p>On Edward's inquiring for her husband, Mrs. Hilliard replied that he was
+somewhere about the farm, and that the girls were drinking tea with some
+neighbours a few miles off; but she said she would send the carriage for
+them immediately, that they might be home early in the evening.</p>
+
+<p>In a short time Abraham Hilliard came in, having seen Pharaoh at the
+barn, who had informed him of the arrival of "Master Neddy." The meeting
+afforded equal gratification to both parties. The old farmer looked as
+if quite accustomed to a clean shirt and to shaving every day; and
+Lindsay was glad to find that his manner of expressing himself had
+improved with his circumstances. Aunt Susan, however, had not, in this
+respect, kept pace with her husband, remaining, to use her own
+expression&mdash;"just the same old two and sixpence." Women who have not in
+early life enjoyed opportunities of cultivating their minds are rarely
+able at a late period to acquire much conversational polish.&mdash;With men
+the case is different.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Hilliard now left her husband to entertain their guest, and, "on
+hospitable thoughts intent," withdrew to superintend the setting of a
+tea-table abounding in cakes and sweetmeats; the strawberry bowl and a
+pitcher of cream occupying the centre. This repast was laid out in the
+wide hall, and while engaged in arranging it, Mrs. Hilliard joined
+occasionally in the conversation which her husband and Lindsay were
+pursuing in her hearing, as they sat in the porch.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Edward," proceeded Mr. Hilliard, "you see a great alteration in
+things at the farm: and I conclude you are glad to find us in a better
+way than when you left us."</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly," replied Lindsay.</p>
+
+<p>"Now," said the penetrating old farmer, "that 'certainly' did not come
+from your heart.&mdash;Tell me the truth&mdash;you miss something, don't you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Frankly, then," replied Lindsay, "I miss everything&mdash;I own myself so
+selfish as to feel some disappointment at the entire overthrow of all
+the images which during my long absence had been present to my mind's
+eye, in connexion with my remembrances of Oakland Farm. Thinking of the
+old farm house and its inhabitants, precisely as I had left them, and
+believing that time had passed over them without causing any essential
+change, I must say that I cannot, just at first, bring myself to be glad
+that it is otherwise. The happiness that seemed to dwell with the old
+house and the old-fashioned ways of its people, had been vividly
+impressed upon my feelings. And I fear&mdash;forgive me for saying so&mdash;that
+your family cannot have added much to their felicity by acquiring ideas
+and adopting habits to which they so long were strangers."</p>
+
+<p>"There you are mistaken, my dear boy," answered the farmer. "I
+acknowledge that if, in removing to a larger house, and altering our way
+of living, we had in any one instance sacrificed comfort to show, or
+convenience to ostentation&mdash;which, unfortunately, has been the error of
+some of our neighbours&mdash;we should, indeed, have enjoyed far less
+happiness than heretofore. But we have not done so. We have made no
+attempts at mimicking what in the city is called style; and I have
+forbidden my daughters to mention the word fashion in my presence."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes&mdash;yes," said Mrs. Hilliard, "I hope we have been wiser than the
+Newman family over at Poplar Plains. As soon as they got a little up in
+the world, they built a shell of a house that looks as if it was made of
+white pasteboard; and figured it all over with carved work inside and
+out; and stuck posts and pillars all about it with nothing of
+consequence to hold up; and furnished the rooms with all sorts of
+useless trumpery."</p>
+
+<p>"Softly&mdash;softly&mdash;wife!" interrupted old Abraham&mdash;and turning to our
+hero, he proceeded&mdash;"well, as I was telling you, Edward, I endeavour to
+enjoy what I have worked so hard to acquire, and to enjoy it in a manner
+that really improves our condition, and renders it in every respect
+better. You know, that in former times, though I had very little leisure
+to read, I liked to take up a book whenever I had a few moments to
+spare, if I was not too tired with my work; and when I went to town with
+marketing, I always bought a book to bring home with me. Also, I took a
+weekly paper. As soon as I could afford it, I brought home more than one
+book, and took a daily paper. I gave my children the benefit of the best
+schooling that could be procured without sending them to town for the
+purpose; but at the same time, I was averse to their learning any showy
+and useless accomplishments."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," rejoined Mrs. Hilliard, "we were certainly wiser than the
+Newmans, who sent their girls to a French school in Philadelphia, and
+had them taught music, both guitar and piano. And the Newman girls mix
+up their talk with all sorts of French words that sound very ugly to me.
+Instead of 'good night' they say <i>bone swear</i>;<a name="FNanchor_77_77" id="FNanchor_77_77"></a><a href="#Footnote_77_77" class="fnanchor">[77]</a> and a 'trifle' they
+call a <i>bagtau</i>;<a name="FNanchor_78_78" id="FNanchor_78_78"></a><a href="#Footnote_78_78" class="fnanchor">[78]</a> and they are always talking about having a
+<i>Gennessee Squaw</i>;<a name="FNanchor_79_79" id="FNanchor_79_79"></a><a href="#Footnote_79_79" class="fnanchor">[79]</a> though what they mean by that I cannot imagine;
+for, I am sure I never saw any such thing in this part of the country.
+And the tunes they play on the piano seem to me like no tunes at all,
+but just a sort of scrambling up and down, that nobody can make either
+head or tail of. And when they sing to the guitar, it sounds to me just
+like moaning one minute, and screaming the next, with a little tinkling
+between whiles."</p>
+
+<p>"Wife&mdash;wife," interrupted Abraham, "you are too severe on the poor
+girls."</p>
+
+<p>"Well&mdash;well," proceeded Mrs. Hilliard, "I'll say nothing more, only
+this: that the airs they take on themselves make them the talk of the
+whole country&mdash;And then they've given up all sorts of work. The mother
+spends most of her time in taking naps, to make up, I suppose, for
+having had to rise early all the former part of her life. The girls sit
+about all day in stiff silk frocks, squeezed so tight in them that they
+can hardly move. Or they go round paying morning visits, interrupting
+people in the busy part of the day. And they invite company to their
+house, and give them no tea; and say they're having a <i>swearey</i>.<a name="FNanchor_80_80" id="FNanchor_80_80"></a><a href="#Footnote_80_80" class="fnanchor">[80]</a> To
+be sure it's a shame for me to say so, but it's well known that they
+never have a good thing on their table now, but pretend it's genteel to
+live on bits and morsels that have neither taste nor substance. And no
+doubt that's the reason the whole family have grown so thin and yellow,
+and are always complaining of something they call dyspepsy."</p>
+
+<p>"<i>They</i> have certainly changed for the worse," remarked Lindsay. "I
+remember the Newmans very well&mdash;a happy, homely family living in a long,
+low, red frame house, and having everything about them plain and
+plentiful."</p>
+
+<p>"So had we in our former dwelling," said Mr. Hilliard, "yet I think we
+are living still better now."</p>
+
+<p>"I have many pleasant recollections of the old house," said Lindsay.</p>
+
+<p>"For you," observed the farmer, "our old house and the manner in which
+we then lived, owed most of their charms to novelty, and to the
+circumstance that children are seldom fastidious. I doubt much, if you
+had found everything in <i>statu quo</i>, and the old house and its
+inhabitants just as you left them, whether you could have been induced
+to make us as long a visit as I hope you will now."</p>
+
+<p>"My husband," said Mrs. Hilliard, "is different from most men of his
+age. Instead of dwelling all the while upon old times, he stands up for
+the times we live in, and says everything now is better than it used to
+be. And he's brought me to agree with him pretty much&mdash;I never was an
+idle woman, and I keep myself busy enough still, but I do think it is
+pleasanter to keep hired people for the hard work than to have to help
+with it myself, as you know I used to. Though I never complained about
+it, still I cannot say, now I look back, that there was any great
+pleasure in helping on washing-days and ironing-days, or in making soft
+soap, and baking great batches of bread and pies&mdash;to be sure, my soft
+soap was admired all over the country, and my bread was always light,
+and my pie-crust never tough. Neither was there much delight in seeing
+my two eldest girls paddling to the barn-yard every morning and evening,
+through all weathers, to milk the cows; or setting them at heavy
+churnings, and other hard work. And then at harvest-time, and at
+killing-time, and when we were getting the marketing ready for husband
+to take to town in the wagon, we were on our feet the whole blessed day.
+To be sure, they were used to it, but I often felt sorry for Abraham and
+the boys, when they came home from the field in a warm evening, so tired
+with work they could hardly speak, and were glad to wash themselves, and
+get their supper, and go to bed at dark. And the girls and I were always
+glad enough, too, to get our rest as soon as we had put away the milk
+and washed the supper things; knowing we should have to be up before the
+stars were gone, to sweep the house and do the milking, and get the
+breakfast, that the men might be off early to work."</p>
+
+<p>"I remember all this very well," said Lindsay.</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure you do," pursued Mrs. Hilliard. "Then don't you think it's
+pleasant for us now not to be overworked during the day, so that in the
+evening, instead of going to bed, we can sit round the table in a nice
+parlour, and sew and knit; or read, for them that likes it. Husband and
+the girls always did take pleasure in reading&mdash;and, for my part, now
+I've time, I'm beginning to like a book myself. Last winter, I read a
+good deal in the second volume of the Spectator. In short, I have not
+the least notion of grieving after our way of living at the old house."</p>
+
+<p>"Nor I neither," added Abraham; "and I really find it much more
+agreeable to superintend my farm, than to be obliged to labour on it
+myself."</p>
+
+<p>"And now let us proceed with our tea," said Mrs. Hilliard; "and, Neddy,
+if you do not eat hearty of what you see before you, I shall think you
+are fretting after the mush and milk, and sowins, and pie and cheese,
+that we use to have on our old supper table, and which I do not believe
+you could eat now if they were before you. Come, you must not mind my
+speaking out so plainly. You know I always was a right-down sort of
+woman, and am so still."</p>
+
+<p>Edward smiled, and pressed her hand kindly, acknowledging that all she
+had said was justified by truth and reason.</p>
+
+<p>The carriage&mdash;they kept a very plain but a very capacious one&mdash;brought
+home the girls shortly after candle-light. Lindsay ran out to assist
+them in alighting, and was glad to find that on hearing his name they
+retained a perfect recollection of him, though they were in their
+earliest childhood at the time of his departure for Europe. When they
+came into the light, he found them both very pretty. Their skins had not
+been tanned by exposure to the sun and wind, nor their shoulders
+stooped, nor their hands reddened by hard work; as had been the case
+with their two elder sisters. They were dressed in white frocks, blue
+shawls, and straw bonnets with blue ribbons; neatly, and in good taste.</p>
+
+<p>The evening passed pleasantly, and Lindsay soon discovered that the
+daughters of his host were very charming girls. Ellen, perhaps, had a
+little tinge of vanity, but Lucy was entirely free from it. Diffidence
+prevented her from talking much, but she listened understandingly, and
+when she did speak, it was with animation and intelligence. Lindsay felt
+that he should not have liked her so well had she looked, and dressed,
+and talked as he remembered her elder sisters.</p>
+
+<p>When he retired for the night, his bed and room were so well furnished,
+and looked so inviting, that he could not regret the little low
+apartment with no chimney and only one window, that he had occupied in
+the old farm-house; and he slept quite as soundly under a white
+counterpane as he had formerly done under a patch-work quilt.</p>
+
+<p>We have no space to enter more minutely into the details of our hero's
+visit, nor to relate by what process he speedily became a convert to the
+fact that even among country-people the march of improvement adds
+greatly to their comfort and happiness; provided always, that they do
+not mistake the road, and diverge into the path of folly and pretension.</p>
+
+<p>Suffice it to say, that he protracted his stay to a week, during which
+he broke the girls of the habit of saying "pappy," substituting the more
+sensible and affectionate epithet of "father." When Pharaoh announced
+the proper time, he made a visit to the refectory of old Binkey, whom he
+afterwards desired the Candyville storekeeper to supply at his charge,
+with materials for her cakes and beer, <i>ad libitum</i>, during the
+remainder of her life.</p>
+
+<p>The visit of Edward Lindsay to Oakland was in the course of the summer
+so frequently repeated, that no one was much surprised when, early in
+October, he conducted Lucy Hilliard to Philadelphia as his bride:
+acknowledging to himself that he could never have made her so, had she
+and her family continued exactly as he had known them at the <span class="smcap">OLD
+FARM-HOUSE</span>.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="THAT_GENTLEMAN" id="THAT_GENTLEMAN"></a>THAT GENTLEMAN:</h2>
+
+<h3>OR,</h3>
+
+<h2>PENCILLINGS ON SHIP-BOARD.</h2>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Yon sun that sets upon the sea<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">We follow in his flight."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Byron.</span><br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<p>"And now, dear Caroline, tell us some particulars of your passage home,"
+said Mrs. Esdale to her sister, as they quitted the tea-table on the
+evening of Mr. and Mrs. Fenton's arrival from a visit to Europe.</p>
+
+<p>"Our passage home," replied Mrs. Fenton, "was moderately short, and
+generally pleasant. We had a good ship, a good captain, splendid
+accommodations, and an excellent table, and were not crowded with too
+many passengers."</p>
+
+<p>"Yet, let us hear something more circumstantial," said Mrs. Esdale.</p>
+
+<p>"Dear Henrietta," replied her sister, "have I not often told you how
+difficult it is to relate anything amusingly or interestingly when you
+are expressly called upon to do so; when you are expected to sit up in
+form, and furnish a regular narrative, with a beginning, a middle, and
+an end."</p>
+
+<p>"But indeed," rejoined Mrs. Esdale, "we have anticipated much pleasure
+from hearing your account of the voyage. Come,&mdash;let us take our seats in
+the front parlour, and leave your husband and mine to their discussion
+of the political prospects of both hemispheres. The girls and myself
+would much rather listen to your last impressions of life on
+ship-board."</p>
+
+<p>"Do, dear aunt," said both the daughters of Mrs. Esdale, two fine girls
+of seventeen and fifteen&mdash;and taking their seats at the sofa-table, they
+urged Mrs Fenton to commence.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, then," said Mrs. Fenton, "to begin in the manner of the fairy
+tales&mdash;once upon a time there lived in the city of New York, a merchant
+whose name was Edward Fenton&mdash;and he had a wife named Caroline Fenton.
+And notwithstanding that they had a town-house and a country-house, and
+a coach to ride in, and fine clothes, and fine furniture, and plenty of
+good things to eat and to drink, they grew tired of staying at home and
+being comfortable. So they sailed away in a ship, and never stopped till
+they got to England. And there they saw the king and queen, with gold
+crowns on their heads, and sceptres in their hands&mdash;(by-the-bye it was
+lucky that we arrived in time for the coronation)&mdash;and they heard the
+king cough, and the queen sneeze: and they saw lords with ribands and
+stars, and ladies with plumes and diamonds. They travelled and
+travelled, and often came to great castles that looked like giants'
+houses: and they went all over England and Wales, and Ireland and
+Scotland. Then they returned to London, and saw more sights; and then
+they were satisfied to come back to America, where they expect to live
+happily all the rest of their lives."</p>
+
+<p>"Now, aunt, you are laughing at us," said Juliet Esdale&mdash;"your letters
+from Europe have somewhat taken off the edge of our curiosity as to your
+adventures there: and it is just now our especial desire to hear
+something of your voyage home."</p>
+
+<p>"In truth," replied Mrs. Fenton, "I must explain, that on this, the
+first evening of my return, I feel too happy, and too much excited, to
+talk systematically on any subject whatever; much less to arrange my
+ideas into the form of a history. To-morrow I shall be engaged all day
+at my own house: for I must preside at the awakening of numerous
+articles of furniture that have been indulged during our absence with a
+long slumber; some being covered up in cases, and some shut up in
+closets, or disrespectfully imprisoned in the attics. But I will come
+over in the evening; and, if we are not interrupted by visiters, I will
+read you some memorandums that I made on the passage. I kept no regular
+journal, but I wrote a little now and then, chiefly for my amusement,
+and to diversify my usual occupations of reading, sewing, and walking
+the deck. Therefore excuse me to-night, and let me have my humour, for
+I feel exactly in the vein to talk 'an infinite deal of nothing.'"</p>
+
+<p>"Aunt Caroline," said Clara, "you know that, talk as you will, we always
+like to hear you. But we shall long for to-morrow evening."</p>
+
+<p>"Do not, however, expect a finished picture of a sea-voyage," said Mrs.
+Fenton, "I can only promise you a few slight outlines, filled up with a
+half tint, and without lights or shadows; like the things that the
+Chinese sometimes paint on their tea-chests."</p>
+
+<p>On the following evening, the gentlemen having gone to a public meeting,
+and measures being taken for the exclusion of visitors, Mrs. Esdale and
+her daughters seated themselves at the table with their work, and Mrs.
+Fenton produced her manuscript book, and read as follows: having first
+reminded her auditors that her husband and herself, instead of embarking
+at London, had gone by land to Portsmouth, and from thence crossed over
+to the Isle of Wight, where they took apartments at the principal hotel
+in the little town of Cowes, at which place the ship was to touch on her
+way down the British channel.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>Having amply availed ourselves of the opportunity (afforded by a three
+days' sojourn) of exploring the beauties of the Isle of Wight, we felt
+some impatience to find ourselves fairly afloat, and actually on our
+passage "o'er the glad waters of the dark blue sea." On the fourth
+afternoon, we walked down to the beach, and strolled amid shells and
+sea-weed, along the level sands at the foot of a range of those chalky
+cliffs that characterize the southern coast of England. It was a lovely
+day. A breeze from the west was ruffling the crests of the green
+transparent waves, and wafting a few light clouds across the effulgence
+of the declining sun, whose beams danced radiantly on the surface of the
+water, gilding the black and red sails of the fishing-boats, and then
+withdrawing, at intervals, and leaving the sea in shade.</p>
+
+<p>"Should this wind continue," said Mr. Fenton, "we may be detained here a
+week, and have full leisure to clamber again among the ruins of
+Carisbrook Castle, and to gaze at the cloven chalk-rocks of Shankline
+Chine, and the other wonders of this pleasant little island."</p>
+
+<p>We then approached an old disabled sailor, who was smoking his pipe,
+seated on a dismantled cannon that lay prostrate on the sands, its iron
+mouth choked up with the sea-weed that the tide had washed into it; and
+on entering into conversation with him, we found that he was an
+out-pensioner of Greenwich hospital, and that for the last ten years he
+had passed most of his time about Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight.</p>
+
+<p>"Have you ever known a ship come down from London with such a wind as
+this?" inquired Mr. Fenton.</p>
+
+<p>"No," replied the sailor.&mdash;"After she doubles Beachy Head, this wind
+would be right in her teeth."</p>
+
+<p>"Then," said Mr. Fenton, turning to me&mdash;"till it changes, we may give up
+all hope of seeing our gallant vessel."</p>
+
+<p>"What ship are you looking for?" asked the sailor.</p>
+
+<p>"The Washington."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! an American ship&mdash;ay, <i>she'll</i> come down. <i>They</i> can make their way
+with any sort of wind."<a name="FNanchor_81_81" id="FNanchor_81_81"></a><a href="#Footnote_81_81" class="fnanchor">[81]</a></p>
+
+<p>He had scarcely spoken, when the flag of our country appeared beyond the
+point, its bright stars half obscured by the ample folds of the white
+and crimson stripes that, blown backward by the adverse breeze, were
+waving across them. In a moment the snowy sails of the Washington came
+full into view, shaded with purple by the setting sun.</p>
+
+<p>"There she is!" exclaimed my husband. "There she comes&mdash;is not an
+American ship one of the most beautiful objects created by the hand of
+man? Well, indeed, do they merit the admiration that is so frankly
+accorded to them by every nation of the earth."</p>
+
+<p>My husband, in his enthusiasm, shook the hand of the old sailor, and
+slipped some money into it. We remained on the beach looking at the ship
+till</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"&mdash;&mdash;o'er her bow the rustling cable rung,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The sails were furl'd; and anchoring round she swung."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>A boat was then lowered from her stern, and the captain came off in it.
+He walked with us to the hotel, and informed us that he should leave
+Cowes early the following day. We soon completed the preparations for
+our final departure, and before eight o'clock next morning we had taken
+our last step on British ground, and were installed in our new abode on
+the world of waters. Several of the passengers had come down in the
+ship from London; others, like ourselves, had preferred commencing their
+voyage from the Isle of Wight; and some, as we understood, were to join
+us at Plymouth.</p>
+
+<p>We sailed immediately. The breeze freshened, and that night and the next
+day, there was much general discomfort from sea-sickness; but,
+fortunately for us both, I was very slightly affected by that
+distressing malady, and Mr. Fenton not at all.</p>
+
+<p>On the third day, we were enabled to lay our course with a fair wind and
+a clear sky: the coast of Cornwall looking like a succession of low
+white clouds ranged along the edge of the northern horizon. Towards
+evening we passed the Lizard, to see land no more till we should descry
+it on the other side of the Atlantic. As Mr. Fenton and myself leaned
+over the taffrail, and saw the last point of England fade dimly from our
+view, we thought with regret of the shore we were leaving behind us, and
+of much that we had seen, and known, and enjoyed in that country of
+which all that remained to our lingering gaze was a dark spot so distant
+and so small as to be scarcely perceptible. Soon we could discern it no
+longer: and nothing of Europe was now left to us but the indelible
+recollections that it has impressed upon our minds. We turned towards
+the region of the descending sun&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"To where his setting splendours burn<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Upon the western sea-maid's urn,"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>and we vainly endeavoured to direct all our thoughts and feelings
+towards our home beyond the ocean&mdash;our beloved American home.</p>
+
+<p>On that night, as on many others, when our ship was careering through
+the sea, with her yards squared, and her sails all trimmed to a fresh
+and favouring breeze, while we sat on a sofa in the lesser cabin, and
+looked up through the open skylight at the stars that seemed flying over
+our heads, we talked of the land we had so recently quitted. We talked
+of her people, who though differing from ours in a thousand minute
+particulars, are still essentially the same. Our laws, our institutions,
+our manners, and our customs are derived from theirs: we are benefited
+by the same arts, we are enlightened by the same sciences. Their noble
+and copious language is fortunately ours&mdash;their Shakspeare also belongs
+to us; and we rejoice that we can possess ourselves of his "thoughts
+that breathe, and words that burn," in all their original freshness and
+splendour, unobscured by the mist of translation. Though the ocean
+divides our dwelling-places: though the sword and the cannon-shot have
+sundered the bonds that once united us to her dominion: though the
+misrepresentations of travelling adventurers have done much to foster
+mutual prejudices, and to embitter mutual jealousies, still we share the
+pride of our parent in the glorious beings she can number among the
+children of her island home, for</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Yet lives the blood of England in our veins."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>On the fourth day of our departure from the Isle of Wight, we found
+ourselves several hundred miles from land, and consigned to the
+solitudes of that ocean-desert, "dark-heaving-boundless&mdash;endless&mdash;and
+sublime"&mdash;whose travellers find no path before them, and leave no track
+behind. But the wind was favourable, the sky was bright, the passengers
+had recovered their health and spirits, and for the first time were all
+able to present themselves at the dinner-table; and there was really
+what might be termed a "goodly company."</p>
+
+<p>It is no longer the custom in American packet ships for ladies to
+persevere in what is called a sea-dress: that is, a sort of dishabille
+prepared expressly for the voyage. Those who are not well enough to
+devote some little time and attention to their personal appearance,
+rarely come to the general table, but take their meals in their own
+apartment. The gentlemen, also, pay as much respect to their toilet as
+when on shore.</p>
+
+<p>The <i>coup d'&oelig;il</i> of the dinner-table very much resembles that of a
+fashionable hotel. All the appurtenances of the repast are in handsome
+style. The eatables are many of them such as, even on shore, would be
+considered delicacies, and they are never deficient in abundance and
+variety. Whatever may be the state of the weather, or the motion of the
+ship, the steward and the cook are unfailing in their duty; constantly
+fulfilling their arduous functions with the same care and regularity.
+The breakfast-table is always covered with a variety of relishes, and
+warm cakes. At noon there is a luncheon of pickled oysters, cold ham,
+tongue, &amp;c. The dinner consists of fowls, ducks, geese, turkeys, fresh
+pork or mutton; for every ship is well supplied with live poultry, pigs
+and sheep. During the first week of the voyage there is generally fresh
+beef on the table, it being brought on board from the last place at
+which the vessel has touched: and it is kept on deck wrapped closely in
+a sail-cloth, and attached to one of the masts, the salt atmosphere
+preserving it. Every day at the dessert there are delicious pies and
+puddings, followed by almonds, raisins, oranges, &amp;c.; and the tea-table
+is profusely set out with rich cakes and sweetmeats. For the sick there
+is always an ample store of sago, arrow-root, pearl-barley, tamarinds,
+&amp;c. Many persons have an opportunity, during their passage across the
+Atlantic, of living more luxuriously than they have ever done in their
+lives, or perhaps ever will again. Our passengers were not too numerous.
+The lesser cabin was appropriated to three other ladies and myself. It
+formed our drawing-room; the gentlemen being admitted only as visiters.
+One of the ladies was Mrs. Calcott, an amiable and intelligent woman,
+who was returning with her husband from a long residence in England.
+Another was Miss Harriet Audley, a very pretty and very lively young
+lady from Virginia, who had been visiting a married sister in London,
+and was now on her way home under the care of the captain, expecting to
+meet her father in New York. We were much amused during the voyage with
+the coquetry of our fair Virginian, as she aimed her arrows at nearly
+all the single gentlemen in turn; and with her frankness in openly
+talking of her designs, and animadverting on their good or ill success.
+The gentlemen, with the usual vanity of their sex, always believed Miss
+Audley's attacks on their hearts to be made in earnest, and that she was
+deeply smitten with each of them in succession; notwithstanding that the
+smile in her eye was far more frequent than the blush on her cheek; and
+notwithstanding that rumour had asserted the existence of a certain
+cavalier in the neighbourhood of Richmond, whose constancy it was
+supposed she would eventually reward with her hand, as he might be
+considered, in every sense of the term, an excellent match.</p>
+
+<p>Our fourth female passenger was Mrs. Cummings, a plump, rosy-faced old
+lady of remarkably limited ideas, who had literally passed her whole
+life in the city of London. Having been recently left a widow, she had
+broken up housekeeping, and was now on her way to join a son established
+in New York, who had very kindly sent for her to come over and live with
+him. The rest of the world was almost a sealed book to her, but she
+talked a great deal of the Minories, the Poultry, the Old Jewry,
+Cheapside, Long Acre, Bishopsgate Within, and Bishopsgate Without, and
+other streets and places with, appellations equally expressive.</p>
+
+<p>The majority of the male passengers were pleasant and companionable&mdash;and
+we thought we had seen them all in the course of the first three
+days&mdash;but on the fourth, we heard the captain say to one of the waiters,
+"Juba, ask that gentleman if I shall have the pleasure of taking wine
+with him." My eyes now involuntarily followed the direction of Juba's
+movements, feeling some curiosity to know who "that gentleman" was, as I
+now recollected having frequently heard the epithet within the last few
+days. For instance, when almost every one was confined by sea-sickness
+to their state-rooms, I had seen the captain despatch a servant to
+inquire of that gentleman if he would have anything sent to him from the
+table. Also, I had heard Hamilton, the steward, call out,&mdash;"There, boys,
+don't you hear that gentleman ring his bell&mdash;why don't you run
+spontaneously&mdash;jump, one of you, to number eleventeen." I was puzzled
+for a moment to divine which state-room bore the designation of
+eleventeen, but concluded it to be one of the many unmeaning terms that
+characterize the phraseology of our coloured people. Once or twice I
+wondered who that gentleman could be; but something else happened
+immediately to divert my attention.</p>
+
+<p>Now, when I heard Captain Santlow propose taking wine with him, I
+concluded that, of course, that gentleman must be visible in <i>propriâ
+personâ</i>, and, casting my eyes towards the lower end of the table, I
+perceived a genteel-looking man whom I had not seen before. He was
+apparently of no particular age, and there was nothing in his face that
+could lead any one to guess at his country. He might have been English,
+Scotch, Irish, or American; but he had none of the characteristic marks
+of either nation. He filled his glass, and bowing his head to Captain
+Santlow, who congratulated him on his recovery, he swallowed his wine in
+silence. There was an animated conversation going on near the head of
+the table, between Miss Audley and two of her beaux, and we thought no
+more of him.</p>
+
+<p>At the close of the dessert, we happened to know that he had quitted the
+table and gone on deck, by one of the waiters coming down and requesting
+Mr. Overslaugh (who was sitting a-tilt, while discussing his walnuts,
+with his chair balanced on one leg, and his head leaning against the
+wainscot) to let him pass for a moment, while he went into No.
+eleventeen for that gentleman's overcoat. I now found that the servants
+had converted No. 13 into eleventeen. By-the-bye, that gentleman had a
+state-room all to himself, sometimes occupying the upper and sometimes
+the under berth.</p>
+
+<p>"Captain Santlow," said Mr. Fenton, "allow me to ask you the name of
+that gentleman."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! I don't know"&mdash;replied the captain, trying to suppress a smile&mdash;"at
+least I have forgotten it&mdash;some English name; for he is an
+Englishman&mdash;he came on board at Plymouth, and his indisposition
+commenced immediately. Mrs. Cummings, shall I have the pleasure of
+peeling an orange for you?"</p>
+
+<p>I now recollected a little incident which had set me laughing soon after
+we left Plymouth, and when we were beating down the coast of Devonshire.
+I had been trying to write at the table in the Ladies' Cabin, but it was
+one of those days when</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Our paper, pen and ink, and we<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Roll up and down our ships at sea."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>And all I could do was to take refuge in my berth, and endeavour to
+read, leaving the door open for more air. My attention, however, was
+continually withdrawn from my book by the sound of things that were
+dislodged from their places, sliding or falling, and frequently
+suffering destruction; though sometimes miraculously escaping unhurt.</p>
+
+<p>While I was watching the progress of two pitchers that had been tossed
+out of the washing-stand, and after deluging the floor with water, had
+met in the Ladies' Cabin, and were rolling amicably side by side,
+without happening to break each other, I saw a barrel of flour start
+from the steward's pantry, and running across the dining-room, stop at a
+gentleman that lay extended in a lower berth with his room door open,
+and pour out its contents upon him, completely enveloping him in a fog
+of meal. I heard the steward, who was busily engaged in mopping up the
+water that had flowed from the pitchers, call out, "Run, boys, run, that
+gentleman's smothering up in flour&mdash;go take the barrel off him&mdash;jump, I
+tell you!"</p>
+
+<p>How that gentleman acted while hidden in the cloud of flour, I could not
+perceive, and immediately the closing of the folding doors shut out the
+scene.</p>
+
+<p>For a few days after he appeared among us, there was some speculation
+with regard to this nameless stranger, whose taciturnity seemed his
+chief characteristic. One morning while we were looking at the gambols
+of a shoal of porpoises that were tumbling through the waves and
+sometimes leaping out of them, my husband made some remark on the clumsy
+antics of this unsightly fish, addressing himself, for the first time,
+to the unknown Englishman, who happened to be standing near him. That
+gentleman smiled affably, but made no reply. Mr. Fenton pursued the
+subject&mdash;and that gentleman smiled still more affably, and walked away.</p>
+
+<p>Nevertheless, he was neither deaf nor dumb, nor melancholy, but had only
+"a great talent for silence," and as is usually the case with persons
+whose genius lies that way, he was soon left entirely to himself, no one
+thinking it worth while to take the trouble of extracting words from
+him. In truth, he was so impracticable, and at the same time so
+evidently insignificant, and so totally uninteresting, that his
+fellow-passengers tacitly conveyed him to Coventry; and in Coventry he
+seemed perfectly satisfied to dwell. Once or twice Captain Santlow was
+asked again if he recollected the name of that gentleman; but he always
+replied with a sort of smile, "I cannot say I do&mdash;not exactly, at
+least&mdash;but I'll look at my manifest and see"&mdash;and he never failed to
+turn the conversation to something else.</p>
+
+<p>The only person that persisted in occasionally talking to that
+gentleman, was old Mrs. Cummings; and she confided to him her perpetual
+alarms at "the perils of the sea," considering him a good hearer, as he
+never made any reply, and was always disengaged, and sitting and
+standing about, apparently at leisure while the other gentlemen were
+occupied in reading, writing, playing chess, walking the deck, &amp;c.</p>
+
+<p>Whenever the ship was struck by a heavy sea, and after quivering with
+the shock, remained motionless for a moment before she recovered herself
+and rolled the other way, poor Mrs. Cummings supposed that we had run
+against a rock, and could not be convinced that rocks were not dispersed
+every where about the open ocean. And as that gentleman never attempted
+to undeceive her on this or any other subject, but merely listened with
+a placid smile, she believed that he always thought precisely as she
+did. She not unfrequently discussed to him, in an under tone, the
+obstinacy and incivility of the captain, who she averred, with truth,
+had never in any one instance had the politeness to stop the ship, often
+as she had requested, nay implored him to do so even when she was
+suffering with sea-sickness, and actually tossed out of her berth by the
+violence of the storm, though she was holding on with both hands.</p>
+
+<p>One day, while we were all three sitting in the round-house (that very
+pleasant little saloon on the upper deck, at the head of the
+cabin-staircase), my attention was diverted from my book by hearing Mrs.
+Cummings say to that gentleman, "Pray, sir, can you tell me what is the
+matter with that poor man's head? I mean the man that has to stand
+always at the wheel there, holding it fast and turning it. I hear the
+captain call out to him every now and then (and in a very rough voice
+too, sometimes), 'How is your head?' and 'How is your head now?' I
+cannot understand what the man says in answer, so I suppose he speaks
+American; but the captain often tells him 'to keep it steady.' And once
+I heard the captain call out 'Port&mdash;port,' which I was very glad of,
+concluding that the poor fellow had nearly given out, and he was
+ordering a glass of port wine to revive him. Do you think, sir, that the
+poor man at the wheel has a constant headache like my friend Mrs.
+Dawlish of Leadenhall street, or that he has hurt his head somehow, by
+falling out of the sails, or tumbling down the ropeladders&mdash;(there
+now&mdash;we've struck a rock!&mdash;mercy on us&mdash;what a life we lead! I wish I
+was on Ludgate Hill.) Talking of hurts, I have not escaped them myself,
+for I've had my falls; and yet the captain is so rude as to turn a deaf
+ear, and keeps sailing on all the same, even when the breath is nearly
+knocked out of me, and though I've offered several times to pay him for
+stopping, but he only laughs at me. By-the-bye, when I go back again to
+dear old England, and I'm sorry enough that I ever left it (as Mr.
+Stackhouse, the great corn-chandler in Whitechapel, told me I certainly
+should be), I'll see and take my passage with a captain that has more
+feeling for the ladies. As for this one, he never lets the ship rest a
+minute, but he keeps forcing her on day and night. I doubt whether
+she'll last the voyage out, with all this wear and tear&mdash;and then if she
+<i>should</i> give in, what's to become of us all? If he would only let her
+stand still while we are at table, that we might eat our dinners in
+peace!&mdash;though it's seldom I'm well enough to eat anything to speak
+of&mdash;I often make my whole dinner of the leg and wing of a goose, and a
+slice or two of plum-pudding; but there's no comfort in eating, when we
+are one minute thrown forward with our heads bowing down to the very
+table-cloth, and the next minute flung back with them knocking against
+the wall."</p>
+
+<p>"There was the other day at breakfast you know, we had all the cabin
+windows shut up at eight o'clock in the morning, which they called
+putting in the dead-lights&mdash;(I cannot see why shutters should be called
+lights)&mdash;and they put the lid on the skylight, and made it so dark that
+we had to breakfast with lamps. There must have been some strange
+mismanagement, or we need not have been put to all that inconvenience;
+and then when the ship almost fell over, they let a great flood of sea
+come pouring down among us, sweeping the plates off the table, and
+washing the very cups out of our hands, and filling our mouths with salt
+water, and ruining our dresses. I wonder what my friend Mrs. Danks, of
+Crutched Friars, would say if she had all this to go through&mdash;she that
+is so afraid of the water, she won't go over London Bridge for fear it
+should break down with her, and therefore visits nobody that lives in
+the Borough&mdash;there now&mdash;a rock again! I wish I was in St. Paul's Church
+Yard! Dear me!&mdash;what will become of us?"</p>
+
+<p>"Upon my word I can't tell," said that gentleman, as he rose and walked
+out on deck.</p>
+
+<p>I then endeavoured to set the old lady right, by explaining to her that
+the business of the man at the wheel was to steer the vessel, and that
+he was not always the same person, the helmsman being changed at regular
+periods. I also made her understand that the captain only meant to ask
+in what direction was the head of the ship&mdash;and that "port&mdash;port,"
+signified that he should put up the helm to the larboard or left side.</p>
+
+<p>I could not forbear repeating to Captain Santlow the ludicrous mistake
+of Mrs. Cummings, and her unfounded sympathy for the man at the wheel.
+He laughed, and said it reminded him of a story he had heard concerning
+an old Irish woman, a steerage passenger, that early in the morning
+after a stormy night, was found by the mate, cautiously creeping along
+the deck and looking round at every step, with a bottle of whiskey
+half-concealed under her apron. On the mate asking her what she was
+going to do with the whiskey, she replied, "I'm looking for that cratur
+Bill Lay, that ye were all calling upon the whole night long, and not
+giving him a minute to rest himself. I lay in my bed and I heard ye
+tramping and shouting over head!&mdash;'twas nothing but Bill Lay<a name="FNanchor_82_82" id="FNanchor_82_82"></a><a href="#Footnote_82_82" class="fnanchor">[82]</a> here,
+and Bill Lay there, and Bill Lay this, and Bill Lay that&mdash;and a weary
+time he's had of it&mdash;for it was yourselves that could do nothing without
+him, great shame to ye. And I thought I'd try and find him out, the
+sowl, and bring him a drop of comfort, for it's himself that nades it."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Cummings's compassion for the helmsman was changed into a somewhat
+different feeling a few days after. The captain and Mr. Fenton were
+sitting near the wheel earnestly engaged in a game of chess. The wind
+had been directly ahead for the last twenty-four hours, and several of
+the passengers were pacing the deck, and looking alternately at the
+sails and the dog-vane&mdash;suddenly there was an exclamation from one of
+them, of "Captain&mdash;captain&mdash;the wind has changed&mdash;it has just gone
+about!" Captain Santlow started up, and perceived that the little flag
+was apparently blowing in another direction; but on looking at the
+compass, he discovered the truth&mdash;it was now found that the steersman,
+who happened to understand chess, was so interested with the game which
+was playing immediately before him, that he had for a moment forgotten
+his duty, and inadvertently allowed the head of the ship to fall off
+half a dozen points from the wind. The error was immediately rectified;
+and Captain Santlow (who never on any occasion lost his temper) said
+coolly to the helmsman, "For this, sir, your grog shall be stopped."</p>
+
+<p>This little incident afforded an additional excitement to the ever-ready
+fears of Mrs. Cummings, who now took it into her head that if (as she
+phrased it) the wheel was turned the wrong way, it would overset the
+ship. Upon finding that the delinquent was an American, she opined that
+there could be no safety in a vessel where the sailors understood chess.
+And whenever we had a fresh breeze (such as she always persisted in
+calling a violent storm) she was very importunate with the captain not
+to allow the chess-man to take the wheel.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" said Mrs. Cummings, "I am sure there is no such thing in his
+majesty's ships, as sailors knowing chess or any of those hard things
+that are enough to set one crazy to think of. In my own dear country,
+people are saving of their wits; but you Americans always know more of
+everything than you ought to. I don't wonder so few of you look plump
+and ruddy. You all wear yourselves out with head-work. Your eyes are not
+half so big as ours, for they are fairly sunk in your heads with
+thinking and contriving. To be sure, at our house in the Minories we
+always kept a pack of cards in the parlour closet. But we never played
+any but very easy games, for it was not our way to make a toil of
+pleasure. Mercy on me!&mdash;what a rock!&mdash;I wish I was at the Back of St.
+Clements&mdash;How I have seen the Potheridge family in Throgmorton street,
+ponder and study over a game of whist as if their lives depended on
+every card. I had to play whist whenever I drank tea there, for they
+were never satisfied unless they were at it every night; and I hated it,
+because I always happened to get old Miss Nancy for a partner, and she
+was so sharp and so cross, and was continually finding fault with me for
+something she called reneaging. Whenever I gave out that I was one by
+honours, she always said it was no such thing; and she downright
+scolded, when after she had played an ace I played a king; or when she
+had trumped first and I made all sure by trumping too. Now what I say is
+this&mdash;a trick can't be too well taken. But I'm not for whist&mdash;give me a
+good easy game where you can't go wrong, such as I've been used to all
+my life; though, no doubt when I get to America, I shall find my son
+Jacky playing chess and whist and despising Beggar my neighbour."</p>
+
+<p>In less than a fortnight after we left the British Channel, we were off
+the Banks of Newfoundland; and, as is frequently the case in their
+vicinity, we met with cold foggy weather. It cleared a little about
+seven in the morning, and we then discovered no less than three
+ice-bergs to leeward. One of them, whose distance from us was perhaps a
+mile, appeared higher than the mainmast head, and as the top shot up
+into a tall column, it looked like a vast rock with a light-house on its
+pinnacle. As the cold and watery sunbeams gleamed fitfully upon it, it
+exhibited in some places the rainbow tints of a prism&mdash;other parts were
+of a dazzling white, while its sharp angular projections seemed like
+masses of diamonds glittering upon snow.</p>
+
+<p>The fog soon became so dense, that in looking over the side of the ship
+we could not discern the sea. Fortunately, it was so calm that we
+scarcely moved, or the danger of driving on the ice-bergs would have
+been terrific. We had now no other means of ascertaining our distance
+from them, but by trying the temperature of the water with a
+thermometer.</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon, the fog gathered still more thickly round us, and
+dripped from the rigging, so that the sailors were continually swabbing
+the deck. I had gone with Mr. Fenton to the round-house, and looked a
+while from its windows on the comfortless scene without. The only
+persons then on the main-deck were the captain and the first mate. They
+were wrapped in their watch-coats, their hair and whiskers dripping with
+the fog-dew. Most of the passengers went to bed at an early hour, and
+soon all was awfully still; Mrs. Cummings being really too much
+frightened to talk, only that she sometimes wished herself in
+Shoreditch, and sometimes in Houndsditch. It was a night of real danger.
+The captain remained on deck till morning, and several of the gentlemen
+bore him company, being too anxious to stay below.</p>
+
+<p>About day-break, a heavy shower of rain dispersed the fog&mdash;"the
+conscious vessel waked as from a trance"&mdash;a breeze sprung up that
+carried us out of danger from the ice-bergs, which were soon diminished
+to three specks on the horizon, and the sun rose bright and cheerfully.</p>
+
+<p>Towards noon, the ladies recollected that none of them had seen that
+gentleman during the last twenty-four hours, and some apprehension was
+expressed lest he should have walked overboard in the fog. No one could
+give any account of him, or remember his last appearance; and Miss
+Audley professed much regret that now, in all probability, we should
+never be able to ascertain his name, as, most likely, he had "died and
+made no sign." To our shames be it spoken, not one of us could cry a
+tear at his possible fate. The captain had turned into his berth, and
+was reposing himself after the fatigue of last night; so we could make
+no inquiry of him on the subject of our missing fellow-passenger.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Cummings called the steward, and asked him how long it was since he
+had seen anything of that gentleman. "I really can't tell, madam,"
+replied Hamilton; "I can't pretend to charge my memory with such things.
+But I conclude he must have been seen yesterday&mdash;at least I rather
+expect he was."</p>
+
+<p>The waiter Juba was now appealed to: "I believe, madam," said Juba&mdash;"I
+remember something of handing that gentleman the bread-basket yesterday
+at dinner&mdash;but I would not be qualified as to whether the thing took
+place or not, my mind being a good deal engaged at the time."</p>
+
+<p>Solomon, the third waiter, disclaimed all positive knowledge of this or
+any other fact, but sagely remarked, "that it was very likely that
+gentleman had been about all yesterday, as usual; yet still it was just
+as likely he might not; and there was only one thing certain, which
+was, that if he was not nowhere, he must, of course, be somewhere."</p>
+
+<p>"I have a misgiving," said Mrs. Cummings, "that he will never be found
+again."</p>
+
+<p>"I'll tell you what I can do, madam," exclaimed the steward, looking as
+if suddenly struck with a bright thought&mdash;"I can examine into No.
+eleventeen, and see if I can perceive him there." And softly opening the
+door of the state-room in question, he stepped back, and said with a
+triumphant flourish of his hand&mdash;"There he is, ladies, there he is in
+the upper berth, fast asleep in his double-cashmere dressing-gown. I
+opinionate that he was one of the gentlemen that stayed on deck all
+night, because they were afraid to go to sleep on account of the
+icebergers.&mdash;Of course, nobody noticed him&mdash;but there he is <i>now</i>, safe
+enough."</p>
+
+<p>Instantly we proceeded <i>en masse</i> towards No. eleventeen, to convince
+ourselves: and there indeed we saw that gentleman lying asleep in his
+double cashmere dressing-gown. He opened his eyes, and seemed surprised,
+as well he might, at seeing all the ladies and all the servants ranged
+before the door of his room, and gazing in at him: and then we all stole
+off, looking foolish enough.</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Mrs. Cummings, "he is not dead, however,&mdash;so we have yet a
+chance of knowing his name from himself, if we choose to ask him. But
+I'm determined I'll make the captain tell it me, as soon as he gets up.
+It's all nonsense, this making a secret of a man's name."</p>
+
+<p>"I suspect," said Mr. Fenton, who had just then entered the cabin, "we
+shall find it</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">&mdash;&mdash;'a name unpronouncea<i>ble</i>,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Which nobody can speak and nobody can spell.'"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>"I never," observed Mrs. Cummings, "knew but one name that could neither
+be spoke nor spelt&mdash;and that was the great general's, that was so often
+in the papers at the time people were talking about the Poles."</p>
+
+<p>"Sczrynecki?" said Mr. Fenton.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! I don't know how <i>you</i> call him," replied Mrs. Cummings; "but Mr.
+Upshaw of Great Knight Rider street, said it was 'Screw him sky high.'
+And Dr. Mangleman of Cateaton street (who was always to me a very
+disagreeable person, because he always talked of disagreeable things),
+said it was 'Squeeze neck and eyes out.' A very unpleasant person was
+Dr. Mangleman. His talk was enough to make well people sick, and sick
+people sicker&mdash;I'm glad he's not on board o' ship with us. He told us
+one day at Mrs. Winceby's dinner-table, when some of us were eating
+calf's head, and some roast pig, about his dissecting a man that was
+hanged, and how he took his knife and&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"I really believe," said I, wishing to be spared the story, "that we
+have actually struck a rock this time."</p>
+
+<p>"There now," exclaimed Mrs. Cummings, "you see I am right, after all. If
+it is not a rock, it is one of those great hills of ice that has turned
+about and is coming right after us&mdash;Mercy on us! I wish I was in Middle
+Row, Holborn! Let us go on deck, and see."</p>
+
+<p>We went on deck, and saw a whale, which was spouting at a distance.
+While looking at it, we were joined by Captain Santlow, and the
+conversation turning entirely on whales, that gentleman and his name
+were again forgotten.</p>
+
+<p>Among the numerous steerage passengers was a young man whose profession
+was that of a methodist preacher. Having succeeded in making some
+religious impressions on the majority of his companions, he one Sunday
+obtained their consent to his performing divine service that evening in
+the steerage: and respectfully intimated that he would be highly
+gratified by the attendance of any of the cabin passengers that would
+condescend to honour him so far. Accordingly, after tea, we all
+descended to the steerage at early candle-light, and found everything
+prepared for the occasion. A barrel, its head covered with a piece of
+sail-cloth, served as a desk, lighted by two yellowish dip candles
+placed in empty porter bottles. But as there was considerable motion, it
+was found that the bottles would not rest in their stations; therefore,
+they were held by two boys. The chests and boxes nearest to the desk,
+were the seats allotted to the ladies and gentlemen: and the steerage
+people ranged themselves behind.</p>
+
+<p>A hymn was sung to a popular tune. The prayer and sermon were delivered
+in simple but impressive language; for the preacher, though a poor and
+illiterate man, was not deficient either in sense or feeling, and was
+evidently imbued with the sincerest piety. There was something solemn
+and affecting in the aspect of the whole scene, with all its rude
+arrangement; and also in the idea of the lonely and insulated situation
+of our little community, with "one wide water all around us." And when
+the preacher, in his homely but fervent language, returned thanks for
+our hitherto prosperous voyage, and prayed for our speedy and safe
+arrival at our destined port, tears stood in the eyes of many of his
+auditors. I thought, when it was over, how frequently such scenes must
+have occurred between the decks of the May-flower, during the long and
+tempestuous passage of that pilgrim band who finally</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i6">"moored their bark<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On the wild New England shore,"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>and how often</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Amid the storm they sung,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And the stars heard, and the sea&mdash;"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>when the wise and pious Brewster lifted his voice in exhortation and
+prayer, and the virtuous Carver, and the gallant Standish, bowed their
+heads in devotion before him.</p>
+
+<p>Another of the steerage passengers was a lieutenant in the British army,
+a man about forty years old, of excellent education, polished manners,
+and a fine military deportment. He was accompanied by his family, and
+they excited much sympathy among the ladies and gentlemen of the cabin.
+He had a wife, a handsome, modest, and intelligent looking woman, and
+five very pretty children, three boys and two girls. Being reduced to
+half-pay, seeing no chance of promotion, and weary of living on "hope
+deferred that maketh the heart sick," Lieutenant Lynford had resolved to
+emigrate, and settle on a grant of land accorded to him in Canada in
+consequence of his having been in service there during our last war. He
+believed that the new world would offer better prospects to his
+children, and that he could there support his family at less expense
+than in Europe. Unable to afford the cost of their passage in the cabin,
+he was under the painful necessity of bringing them over in the
+steerage, amidst all its unimaginable and revolting inconveniences.</p>
+
+<p>It was impossible to regard this unfortunate and misplaced family
+without emotions of deep interest and sincere commiseration; they were
+so evidently out of their proper sphere, and it must have been so
+painful to the feelings of a gentleman and lady to live in almost
+immediate contact with the coarse and vulgar tenants of that crowded and
+comfortless part of the vessel.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Fenton, and others of the gentlemen, took great pleasure in
+conversing with Lieutenant Lynford; though, according to rule, the poor
+officer was not permitted, as a steerage passenger, to come aft the
+mainmast. Therefore, their conversations had to take place at the
+extreme limits of the boundary line, which the lieutenant was scrupulous
+in never overstepping.</p>
+
+<p>His wife, a lady both in appearance and manner, was seldom seen on deck,
+except when her husband prevailed on her to come up with him to look at
+something that made a spectacle, or an event, in the monotony of our
+usual sea-view. We understood that they had surrounded the narrow space
+allotted to their beds with a sort of partition, made by suspending a
+screen of quilts and blankets, so as to interpose a slight barrier
+between themselves and the disgusting scenes, and frequently disgusting
+people with whom it was their hard fate to be associated during the
+voyage; and whose jealousy and ill-will would have been immediately
+excited by any attempt on the part of the captain or the cabin
+passengers, to alleviate the discomforts to which the unfortunate
+Lynfords were subjected.</p>
+
+<p>The regulation that no light shall be allowed in the steerage, except on
+some extraordinary occasion (and which originates in the danger of the
+ship being carelessly set on fire), must have been an almost intolerable
+grievance to Lieutenant Lynford, and his wife and children. I often
+thought of them while we were spending our evenings so agreeably in
+various amusements and occupations round the cabin tables, brightly
+illuminated by the elegant lamps that were suspended from the ceiling. I
+felt how long and how dismally <i>their</i> evenings must have passed,
+capable as they were in mind, in taste, and in education, of the same
+enjoyments as ourselves; and therefore feeling with double intensity the
+severe pressure of their hard and unmerited condition.</p>
+
+<p>After crossing the Banks we seemed to feel ourselves on American ground,
+or rather on American sea. As our interest increased on approaching the
+land of our destination, that gentleman was proportionably overlooked
+and forgotten. He "kept the even tenor of his way," and we had become
+scarcely conscious that he was still among us: till one day, when there
+was rather a hard gale, and the waves were running high, we were
+startled, as we surrounded the luncheon table, by a tremendous noise on
+the cabin staircase, and the sudden bursting open of the door at its
+foot. We all looked up, and saw that gentleman falling down stairs, with
+both arms extended, as he held in one hand a tall cane stool, and in
+the other the captain's barometer, which had hung just within the upper
+door; he having involuntarily caught hold of both these articles with a
+view of saving himself. "While his head, as he tumbled, went nicketty
+nock," his countenance, for once, assumed a new expression, and the
+change from its usual unvarying sameness was so striking, that, combined
+with his ludicrous attitude, it set us all to laughing. The waiters ran
+forward and assisted him to rise; and it was then found that the stool
+and the barometer had been the greatest sufferers; one having lost a
+leg, and the other being so shattered that the stair-carpet was covered
+with globules of quicksilver. However, he retired to his state-room, and
+whether or not he was seen again before next morning, I cannot
+positively undertake to say.</p>
+
+<p>On the edge of the Gulf Stream, we had a day of entire calm, when "there
+was not a breath the blue wave to curl." A thin veil of haziness
+somewhat softened the fires of the American sun (as it was now called by
+the European passengers), and we passed the whole day on deck, in a
+delightful state of idle enjoyment; gazing on the inhabitants of the
+deep, that, like ourselves, seemed to be taking a holiday. Dolphins,
+horse-mackerel, and porpoises were sporting round the vessel, and the
+flying-fish, "with brine still dropping from its wings," was darting up
+into the sun-light; while flocks of petrels, their black plumage tinged
+with flame-colour, seemed to rest on the surface of the water; and the
+nautilus, "the native pilot of his little bark," glided gayly along the
+dimpling mirror that reflected his tiny oars and gauzy sail. We fished
+up large clusters of sea-weed, among which were some beautiful specimens
+of a delicate purple colour, which, when viewed through a microscope,
+glittered like silver, and were covered with little shell-fish so minute
+as to be invisible to the naked eye.</p>
+
+<p>It was a lovely day. The lieutenant and his family were all on deck, and
+looked happy. That gentleman looked as usual. Towards evening, a breeze
+sprung up directly fair, and filled the sails, which all day had been
+clinging idly to the masts; and before midnight we were wafted along at
+the rate of nine knots an hour, "while round the waves phosphoric
+brightness broke," the ship seeming, as she cleaved the foam, to draw
+after her in her wake a long train of stars.</p>
+
+<p>Next day, we continued to proceed rapidly, with a fair wind, which we
+knew would soon bring us to the end of our voyage. The ladies' cabin was
+now littered with trunks and boxes, brought from the baggage-room that
+we might select from them such articles as we thought we should require
+when we went on shore.</p>
+
+<p>But we were soon attracted to the deck, to see the always interesting
+experiment of sounding with the deep-sea lead. To our great joy, it came
+up (though from almost immeasurable depth) with a little sand adhering
+to the cake of tallow at the bottom of the plummet. The breeze was
+increasing, and Mr. Overslaugh, whose pretensions to nautical knowledge
+were considered very shallow by his fellow amateurs, remarked to my
+husband: "If this wind holds, I should not wonder if we are aground in
+less than two hour."</p>
+
+<p>Before Mr. Fenton could reply, Mrs. Cummings exclaimed: "Aground, did
+you say!"&mdash;And she scuttled away with greater alacrity than we had ever
+seen her evince on any former occasion. Some time after, on entering the
+ladies' cabin, I found that the old dame, with her usual misconstruction
+of sea-phrases, had rejoicingly dressed herself in a very showy suit
+prepared for her first landing in America, and was now in the act of
+buttoning at the ankles a pair of frilled leggings to "go aground in,"
+as she informed me.</p>
+
+<p>I explained to her her mistake, at which she was wofully disappointed,
+and proportionately alarmed, ejaculating&mdash;"Oh! if I was only back
+again&mdash;anywhere at all&mdash;even in the very out-scouts of London&mdash;rather
+than stay another night in this dreadful ship!&mdash;To think, that after all
+my sufferings at sea, I may be blown headforemost ashore, and drowned on
+dry land at last!"</p>
+
+<p>However, I succeeded in calming her terrors; and seeing her engaged in
+taking off her finery to resume the black silk she had worn during the
+voyage, I left Mrs. Cummings, and returned to my husband. The wind,
+though still fair, had decreased towards the close of the day, and was
+now mild and balmy. When I saw the white wings of a flight of curlews
+glancing against the bright crimson glories of the sunset sky, I could
+not help saying, "those birds will reach their nests at twilight, and
+their nests are in America."</p>
+
+<p>We remained on deck the whole evening, believing it probably the last we
+should spend together; and the close companionship of four weeks in the
+very circumscribed limits of a ship, had made us seem like one family.</p>
+
+<p>We talked of the morrow, and I forgot that that gentleman was among us,
+till I saw him leave the deck to retire for the night. The thought then
+struck me, that another day, and we should cease perhaps to remember his
+existence.</p>
+
+<p>I laid my head on my pillow with the understanding that land would be
+discovered before morning, and I found it impossible to sleep. Mr.
+Fenton went on deck about midnight, and remained there till dawn. What
+American, when returning to his native country, and almost in view of
+its shores, is not reminded of that night, when Columbus stood on the
+prow of the Santa Maria, and watched in breathless silence with his
+impatient companions, for the first glimpse of the long wished-for
+land&mdash;that memorable night, which gave a new impulse to the world
+already known, and to that which was about to be discovered!</p>
+
+<p>Near one o'clock, I heard a voice announcing the light on the highlands
+of Neversink, and in a short time all the gentlemen were on deck. At
+day-break Mr. Fenton came to ask me if I would rise, and see the morning
+dawn upon our own country. We had taken a pilot on board at two o'clock,
+had a fine fair breeze to carry us into the bay of New York, and there
+was every probability of our being on shore in a few hours. When I
+reached the deck, tears came into my eyes as I leaned on my husband's
+arm, and saw the light of Sandy Hook shining brilliantly in the dimness
+of the closing night, and emulating the morning star as it sparkled
+above the rosy streak that was brightening in the eastern horizon. We
+gazed till the rising sun sent up his first rays from behind the
+kindling and empurpled ocean, and our native shore lay clear and
+distinct before us.</p>
+
+<p>Soon after sunrise we were visited by a news-boat, when there was an
+exchange of papers, and much to inquire and much to tell.</p>
+
+<p>We were going rapidly through the Narrows, when the bell rung for
+breakfast, which Captain Santlow had ordered at an early hour, as we had
+all been up before daylight. Chancing to look towards his accustomed
+seat, I missed that gentleman, and inquired after him of the
+captain.&mdash;"Oh!" he replied, "that gentleman went on shore in the
+news-boat; did you not see him depart? He bowed all round, before he
+went down the side."</p>
+
+<p>"No," was the general reply; "we did not see him go." In truth, we had
+all been too much interested in hearing, reading, and talking of the
+news brought by the boat.</p>
+
+<p>"Then he is gone for ever," exclaimed Mrs. Cummings&mdash;"and we shall never
+know his name."</p>
+
+<p>"Come, Captain Santlow," said Mr. Fenton, "try to recollect it.&mdash;'Let it
+not,' as Grumio says, 'die in oblivion, while we return to our graves
+inexperienced in it.'"</p>
+
+<p>Captain Santlow smiled, and remained silent. "Now, captain," said Miss
+Audley, "I will not quit the ship till you tell me that gentleman's
+name.&mdash;I cannot hold out a greater threat to you, as I know you have had
+a weary time of it since I have been under your charge. Come, I set not
+my foot on shore till I know the name of that gentleman, and also why
+you cannot refrain from smiling whenever you are asked about it."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, then," replied Captain Santlow, "though his name is a very pretty
+one when you get it said, there is a little awkwardness in speaking it.
+So I thought I would save myself and my passengers the trouble. And
+partly for that reason, and partly to tease you all, I have withheld it
+from your knowledge during the voyage. But I can assure you he is a
+baronet."</p>
+
+<p>"A baronet!" cried Miss Audley; "I wish I had known that before, I
+should certainly have made a dead set at him. A baronet would have been
+far better worth the trouble of a flirtation, than you, Mr. Williams, or
+you, Mr. Sutton, or you, Mr. Belfield, or any of the other gentlemen
+that I have been amusing myself with during the voyage."</p>
+
+<p>"A baronet!" exclaimed Mrs. Cummings; "well, really&mdash;and have I been
+four weeks in the same ship with a baronet&mdash;and sitting at the same
+table with him,&mdash;and often talking to him face to face?&mdash;I wonder what
+Mrs. Thimbleby of Threadneedle street would say if she knew that I am
+now acquainted with a baronet!"</p>
+
+<p>"But what is his name, captain?" said Mr. Fenton; "still you do not tell
+us."</p>
+
+<p>"His name," answered the captain, "is Sir St. John St. Leger."</p>
+
+<p>"Sir St. John St. Leger!" was repeated by each of the company.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," resumed Captain Santlow&mdash;"and you see how difficult it is to say
+it smoothly. There is more sibilation in it than in any name I
+know.&mdash;Was I not right in keeping it from you till the voyage was over,
+and thus sparing you the trouble of articulating it, and myself the
+annoyance of hearing it? See, here it is in writing."</p>
+
+<p>The captain took his manifest out of his pocket-book, and showed us the
+words, "Sir St. John St. Leger, of Sevenoaks, Kent."</p>
+
+<p>"Pho!" said Mrs. Cummings. "Where's the trouble in speaking that name,
+if you only knew the right way&mdash;I have heard it a hundred times&mdash;and
+even seen it in the newspapers. This must be the very gentleman that my
+cousin George's wife is always talking about. She has a brother that
+lives near his estate, a topping apothecary. Why, 'tis easy enough to
+say his name, if you say it as we do in England."</p>
+
+<p>"And how is that?" asked the captain; "what can you make of Sir St. John
+St. Leger?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why, Sir Singeon Sillinger, to be sure," replied Mrs. Cummings; "I am
+confident he would have answered to that name. Sir Singeon Sillinger of
+Sunnock&mdash;cousin George's wife's brother lives close by Sunnock in a
+yellow house with a red door."</p>
+
+<p>"And have I," said the captain, laughing, "so carefully kept his name to
+myself, during the whole passage, for fear we should have had to call
+him Sir St. John St. Leger, when all the while we might have said Sir
+Singeon Sillinger?"</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure you might," replied Mrs. Cummings, looking proud of the
+opportunity of displaying her superior knowledge of something. "With all
+your striving after sense you Americans are a very ignorant people,
+particularly of the right way of speaking English. Since I have been on
+board, I have heard you all say the oddest things&mdash;though I thought
+there would be no use in trying to set you right. The other day there
+was Mr. Williams talking of the church of St. Mary le bon&mdash;instead of
+saying Marrow bone. Then Mr. Belfield says, Lord Cholmondeley, instead
+of Lord Chumley, and Col. Sinclair, instead of Col. Sinkler; and Mr.
+Sutton says Lady Beauchamp, instead of Lady Beachum; and you all say
+Birmingham, instead of Brummagem. The truth is, you know nothing about
+English names. Now that name, Trollope, that you all sneer at so much,
+and think so very low, why Trollope is quite genteel in England, and so
+is Hussey. The Trollopes and Husseys belong to great families. But I
+have no doubt of finding many things that are very elegant in England,
+counted quite vulgar in America, owing to the ignorance of your people.
+For my part, I was particularly brought up to despise all manner of
+ignorance."</p>
+
+<p>In a short time a steamboat came alongside into which we removed
+ourselves, accompanied by the captain and the letter bags; and we
+proceeded up to the city, where Mr. Fenton and myself were met on the
+wharf, I need not tell how, and by whom.</p>
+
+<p>Captain Santlow informed us during our little trip in the boat, that
+soon after breakfast, the steward had brought him a letter which he had
+just found on the pillow in that gentleman's birth. It was directed to
+Lieutenant Lynford. The captain immediately went forward and presented
+it to him, and the poor officer was so overcome after opening it, that
+he could not forbear making known to Captain Santlow that it contained a
+draft for five hundred dollars on a house in New York, and a few lines
+signed St. John St. Leger, requesting Lieutenant Lynford to oblige the
+writer by making use of that sum to assist in settling his family in
+Canada.</p>
+
+<p>We were now all warm in our praise of that gentleman's generosity. And
+Mrs. Cummings recollected that she had heard from her cousin George's
+wife that her brother of Sunnock often said that, though he never spoke
+if he could help it, nobody did kinder things in his own quiet way than
+Sir Singeon Sillinger.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="THE_SERENADES" id="THE_SERENADES"></a>THE SERENADES.</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"Sleep you, or wake you, lady bright?"&mdash;<span class="smcap">Lewis.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>"And now tell me the reason of your giving us the slip on Tuesday
+night," said Charles Cavender to Frederick Merrill, as they came out of
+court together, and walked into the shade of the beautiful double row of
+linden trees that interlace their branches in front of the Philadelphia
+State House, perfuming the atmosphere of early summer with the fragrance
+of their delicate yellow blossoms.</p>
+
+<p>"To tell you the truth," replied Merrill, "I never had much fancy for
+these regular serenading parties. And as, on Tuesday night, I had a
+presentiment that the course of ours was not going to run smoothly, and
+as I found it impossible to play with such a second as Dick
+Doubletongue, I resigned my flute to Walton, and went home for my
+guitar, being very much in the notion of taking a ramble on my own
+account, and giving a little unpretending music to several pretty girls
+of my own acquaintance."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah! that guitar!" exclaimed Cavender: "Since you first heard Segura, no
+Spaniard can be more completely fascinated with the instrument. And, to
+do Segura justice, he has made an excellent guitar player of you, and
+cultivated your voice with great success."</p>
+
+<p>"But how did you proceed after I left you?" asked Merrill.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! very well!" replied Cavender; "only that infernal piano, that Harry
+Fingerley insisted on being brought along with us, was pretty
+considerable of a bore."</p>
+
+<p>"So I thought," responded Merrill; "to me there appeared something too
+absurd in conveying through the streets at night so cumbrous an
+instrument&mdash;carrying it on a hand-barrow, like porters."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," observed Cavender, "there were, however, enough of us to relieve
+each other every square. By-the-bye, I suspect that your true reason for
+deserting was to avoid taking your turn in carrying the piano."</p>
+
+<p>"You are not far wrong," replied Merrill, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>"It was a ridiculous business," resumed Cavender. "As Fingerley cannot
+touch an instrument without his notes, and always chooses to show off in
+difficult pieces, a lantern was brought along, which one of us was
+obliged to hold for him whenever he played. Unluckily, a music stool had
+been forgotten, and poor Harry, who, you know, is one of the tallest
+striplings in town, was obliged to play kneeling: and he wore the knees
+of his pantaloons threadbare, in getting through a long concerto of
+Beethoven's, before Miss Flickwire's door."</p>
+
+<p>"To what place did you go after I left you?" inquired Merrill.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! to serenade that saucy flirt, Miss Lawless, Frank Hazeldon's flame.
+We ranged ourselves in front of the house, set down the piano and its
+elegant supporter, the hand-barrow, upon the pavement, and all struck up
+the Band March, with our eyes turned upwards, expecting that we should
+see the shutters gently open, and the pretty faces of Lucy Lawless and
+her two sisters slyly peeping down at us. But we looked in vain. No
+shutters opened, and no faces peeped."</p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps," said Merrill, "the family were all out of town?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, no," replied Cavender; "a bright light shone through the fan-glass
+over the door, which opened at last, just as we had concluded the Band
+March, and out came Bogle, followed by two or three other waiters of
+rather a more decided colour, who stood a little aloof. 'Gentlemen,'
+said Bogle, 'Miss Lawless desires her respects and compliments to you
+all, and wishes me to inquire if there is one Mr. Hazeldon among
+you?'&mdash;'Yes; I am Mr. Hazeldon,' said Frank, stepping out.&mdash;'Then,'
+resumed Bogle, with his usual flourish of hand, 'Miss Lawless presents
+her further respects and compliments, and requests me to make you
+acquainted that she has a party to-night, and as Frank Johnson was
+pre-engaged, and could not come, she desires you will play a few
+cotillions for the company to dance&mdash;and if there are any more
+gentlemen-fiddlers present, she will thank them to play too.'</p>
+
+<p>"There was a general burst of mingled indignation and laughter. Some of
+the serenaders advanced to put Bogle into the gutter, but he very
+naturally resisted, justly declaring that he ought not to be punished
+for obeying the lady's orders, and delivering the message
+systematically, as he termed it.</p>
+
+<p>"The windows of the front parlour were now thrown open, and Miss Lawless
+with her sisters appeared at them, dressed in lace and flowers. Both
+parlours were lighted up with chandeliers, and filled with company.</p>
+
+<p>"'Mr. Hazeldon,' said Miss Lawless, 'you and your friends have come
+precisely at the right time. Nothing could be more apropos than your
+arrival. We were all engaged with the ice-creams and jellies while you
+were playing the Band March (which, to do you justice, you performed
+very respectably), or we should have sent Bogle out to you before. Pray,
+Mr. Hazeldon, give us "Love was once a little boy;"&mdash;it makes an
+excellent cotillion&mdash;and we shall then be able to decide between the
+merits of your band and that of Mr. Francis Johnson.'&mdash;'But we are all
+gentlemen, madam,' said the simple Bob Midgely, 'and this is a
+serenade.'&mdash;'The more convenient,' replied Miss Lawless, who is really a
+very handsome girl; 'a serenade may thus be made to answer a double
+purpose&mdash;killing two birds with one stone, in proverbial parlance.'</p>
+
+<p>"Poor Frank Hazeldon was so much annoyed as to be incapable of reply,
+being also vexed and mortified at having no invitation to his
+lady-love's party.</p>
+
+<p>"But I went forward, and said to Miss Lawless, that if she and her
+friends would come out, and perform their cotillions on the pavement, we
+would have much pleasure in playing for them. To this she replied, that
+she now perceived we had no tambourine with us, and that a dance without
+that enlivening instrument must always be a very spiritless affair.
+Therefore she would excuse, for the present, the services of Mr.
+Hazeldon and his musical friends.</p>
+
+<p>"She then closed the window, and we bowed and moved off; resolved that
+for the future we would take care to avoid the awkward <i>contre-tems</i> of
+serenading a lady when she is in the act of having a party. Frank
+Hazeldon loudly protested against the insolence of his dulcinea, 'who,'
+said he, 'would not dare to say and do such things, only that she knows
+herself to be (as she certainly is), the most beautiful creature on the
+face of the earth.' However, he averred that he had done with Miss
+Lawless entirely, and would scrupulously avoid all further acquaintance
+with her, now that she had not only affronted himself, but his friends.
+We advised him to consider it not so deeply."</p>
+
+<p>"He seems to have taken your advice," observed Merrill; "for there he
+is, just turning the corner of Sixth street with her&mdash;she laughing at
+him as usual, and he, as usual, thankful to be laughed at by her. But
+where else did you go?"</p>
+
+<p>"We went to two other places," replied Cavender; "where nothing
+particular happened, except that at one of them the ladies threw flowers
+down to us. Afterwards, Dick Doubletongue proposed our going into Market
+street to serenade two very pretty girls, the daughters of a wealthy
+tradesman, who, being an old-fashioned man, persevered in the
+convenience of living in the same house in which he kept his store.
+Unluckily, it was the night before market-day. We began with 'Life let
+us cherish,' which Dick assured us was a special favourite with the
+young ladies&mdash;and our music soon aroused the market-people, some of whom
+were sleeping in their carts that stood in the street, others, wrapped
+in coverlets, were bivouacking on the stalls in the market-house, to be
+ready on the spot for early morning. They started up, jumped down,
+gathered around us, and exclaimed&mdash;'Well, did ever!'&mdash;'Now, that's what
+I call music!'&mdash;'There, Polly, there's the right sort of fiddling for
+you!'&mdash;'Well, this beats <i>me</i>!'&mdash;'Law, Suz!&mdash;how they do play it
+up!'&mdash;and other equally gratifying expressions. And one woman called out
+to her husband&mdash;'Here, daddy, take up the baby, and bring him out of the
+cart, and let him hear some music-playing, now he has a chance.' So the
+baby was brought, and daddy held him close up to the flute-players, and
+the baby cried, as all babies should do when they are taken up in the
+night to hear music.</p>
+
+<p>"To crown all, the concert was joined by a dozen calves, who awoke from
+their uneasy slumbers in the carts, and began bleating in chorus; and by
+the crowing of various fowls, and the quacking of various ducks that
+were tied by the legs in pairs, and lying under the stalls. Every moment
+fresh market-carts came jolting and rattling over the stones, and we
+would have gone away at the conclusion of 'Life let us cherish,' only
+that Dick begged us to remain till we saw some indications of the
+ladies being awake and listening to us&mdash;a circumstance always gratifying
+to serenaders. While we were in full performance of 'The Goddess Diana,'
+we saw a light in a room up stairs, a window was opened, and there
+appeared at it two young ladies, who had evidently taken the trouble to
+arrange their hair, and attire themselves very becomingly in pink gowns
+and white collars, for the purpose of doing honour to the musicians and
+themselves. After this, we could do no less than play another of their
+favourites. When it was finished, we bowed up to the window, and they
+curtsied down to us, and the market-women approved, saying&mdash;'Law, now,
+if that a'n't pretty!&mdash;all making their manners to one another!&mdash;well,
+if we a'n't in luck to-night!'"</p>
+
+<p>"The combination of noises that accompanied your Market street
+serenade," observed Merrill, "reminds me of a ridiculous incident that
+occurred one night, when I and my flute were out with Tom Clearnote and
+Sam Startlem; Clearnote having his Kent bugle, and Startlem making his
+first public essay on the trombone, which he had taken a fancy to learn.
+We went to a house in Chestnut street, where there were three charming
+girls, who we soon saw had all properly disposed themselves for
+listening at the windows. We commenced with the March in Masaniello.
+Unfortunately, Sam Startlem, from having a cold, or some other cause,
+and being but a novice on the trombone, found it impossible to fill the
+instrument, or to produce any sound but a sort of hollow croak, that
+went exactly like 'Fire! fire!'&mdash;the cry which so often frights our town
+from its propriety.</p>
+
+<p>"Just then the watchman was passing with a dog that always followed him,
+and that had a habit of howling whenever he heard the alarm of fire. On
+meeting the strange sounds, half guttural, half nasal, from Startlem's
+trombone, he very naturally mistook them for the announcement of a
+conflagration, and set up his customary yell.<a name="FNanchor_83_83" id="FNanchor_83_83"></a><a href="#Footnote_83_83" class="fnanchor">[83]</a> In a few minutes, the
+boys issued from all quarters, according to their practice, by day and
+by night whenever there is anything to be seen or heard that promises a
+mob. The supposed cry of fire was reiterated through the street; and
+spread all round. Presently two or three engines came scampering along,
+bells ringing, trumpets braying, torches flaring, and men shouting&mdash;all
+running they knew not whither; for as yet the bell of the State House
+had not tolled out its unerring signal.</p>
+
+<p>"In the general confusion, we thought it best to cease playing, and
+quietly decamp, being ashamed (for the honour of our musicians) to
+inform the firemen of the real cause of the mistake; so we gladly stole
+out of the crowd, and turned into a private street.&mdash;But excuse me for
+interrupting you.&mdash;Finish your narrative."</p>
+
+<p>"There is little more to be said," resumed Cavender. "By the time we had
+afforded sufficient amusement to the market-people, the moon had long
+since set, and the stars begun to fade. So we all put up our
+instruments, and wearily sought our dwelling-places;&mdash;Harry Fingerley
+wisely hiring relays of black men to carry home the piano.</p>
+
+<p>"But we have been talking long enough under these trees," continued
+Cavender; "let us walk up Chestnut street together, and tell me what
+befell yourself while serenading according to the fashion of Old
+Castile. Of course, you went first to Miss Osbrook?"</p>
+
+<p>"I did," replied Merrill, smiling, and colouring a little; "and I played
+and sung for her, in my very best style, several of my very best songs.
+And I was rewarded by obtaining a glimpse of a graceful white figure at
+the window, as she half unclosed it, and seeing a white hand (half
+hidden by a ruffle) resting gently on one of the bars of the Venetian
+shutter&mdash;and as the moon was then shining brightly down, I knew that my
+divine Emily also saw <i>me</i>.</p>
+
+<p>"From thence I went to the residence of a blooming Quaker girl, who, I
+understood from a mutual friend, had expressed a great wish for a
+serenade. She came to the window, and was soon joined by an old nurse,
+who, I found by their conversation, had been kindly awakened by the
+considerate Rebecca, and invited by her to come to the front room and
+listen to the music; on which the half-dozing matron made no comment,
+but that 'sometimes the tune went away up, and sometimes it went right
+down.'</p>
+
+<p>"Having commenced with 'The Soldier's Bride,' I was somewhat surprised
+at the martial propensities of the fair Quakeress, who in a loud whisper
+to her companion, first wished that Frederick Merrill (for she had at
+once recognised me) would play and sing 'The Soldier's Tear,' and then
+'The Soldier's Gratitude.' When I had accomplished both these songs, I
+heard her tell the old woman, that she was sure 'The Battle of Prague'
+would go well on the guitar. This performance, however, I did not think
+proper to undertake, and I thereupon prepared to withdraw, to the
+audible regret of the lovely Rebecca.</p>
+
+<p>"As I directed my steps homeward, I happened to pass the house of a
+young lady whose family and mine have long been somewhat acquainted, and
+who has acquired (I will not say how deservedly) a most unfortunate
+<i>sobriquet</i>. At a fancy ball, last winter, she appeared in the character
+of Sterne's Maria, dressed in a white jacket and petticoat, with vine
+leaves in her hair, and a flageolet suspended by a green riband over one
+shoulder. Her mother, a very silly and illiterate woman, announced her
+as 'Strange Maria'&mdash;absurdly introducing her by that title, and saying
+repeatedly through the evening to gentlemen as well as to ladies&mdash;'Have
+you seen my daughter yet?&mdash;Have you seen Strange Maria?&mdash;There she is,
+sitting in that corner, leaning her head upon her hand&mdash;it is a part of
+her character to sit so&mdash;and when she is tired, she gets up and dances.
+She appears to-night as Strange Maria, and it suits exactly, as her name
+is really Maria. Her aunt, Mrs. Fondlesheep, chose the character for her
+out of some book, and Madame Gaubert made the jacket.'</p>
+
+<p>"From that night, the poor girl has gone unconsciously by this foolish
+nickname. And, unfortunately, she is almost as much of a simpleton as
+her mother, though she was educated at a great boarding-school, and said
+a great many long lessons.</p>
+
+<p>"I took my seat on the marble carriage-step in front of the house, and
+the moon having declined, I played and sung 'Look out upon the stars, my
+love.' Soon after I commenced, I saw a window in the second story thrown
+open, and the literal Maria doing exactly as she was bid, in earnestly
+surveying the stars&mdash;turning her head about that she might take a view
+of them in every direction.</p>
+
+<p>"I then began the beautiful serenading song of 'Lilla, come down to me,'
+with no other motive than that of hearing myself sing it. At the
+conclusion of the air, the front door softly opened, and Strange Maria
+appeared at it, dressed in a black silk frock, with a bonnet and shawl,
+and carrying a bundle under her arm.</p>
+
+<p>"She looked mysterious, and beckoned to me. I approached her, somewhat
+surprised. She put the bundle into my hands, and laying her finger on
+her lips, whispered&mdash;'All's safe&mdash;we can get off now&mdash;I have just had
+time to put up a change of clothes, and you must carry them for me.'</p>
+
+<p>"'My dear Miss Maria,' said I, 'what is it you mean? Excuse me for
+saying that I do not exactly comprehend you.'</p>
+
+<p>"'Now, don't pretend to be so stupid,' was the damsel's reply; 'did you
+not invite me in the song to come down and run away with you? You sung
+it so plain that I heard every word. There could not be a better
+opportunity, for ma's in the country, and there is never any danger of
+waking pa.'</p>
+
+<p>"'Really, Miss Maria,' said I, 'allow me to say that you have totally
+misunderstood me.'</p>
+
+<p>"'No such thing,' persisted the young lady. 'Did I not hear you over and
+over again say, "Lilla, come down to me?" Though I never was allowed to
+see a play or read a novel, I am not such a fool that I cannot
+understand when people want to run away with me. By Lilla you of course
+meant me, just as much as if you had said Maria.'</p>
+
+<p>"'On my honour,' I expostulated, 'you are entirely mistaken. Only permit
+me to explain'&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"'Nonsense,' interrupted the lady; 'the song was plain enough. And so I
+got ready, and stole down stairs as quickly as possible. Alderman
+Pickwick always sits up late at night, and rises before day to write for
+the newspapers. He lives just round the corner, and never objects to
+marry any couple that comes to him. So let's be off.'</p>
+
+<p>"'I entreat you,' said I, 'to listen to me for one moment.'</p>
+
+<p>"'Did you bring a ring with you?' continued the fair eloper, whose
+present volubility surprised me no less than her pertinacity, having
+hitherto considered her as one of the numerous young ladies that are
+never expected to talk.</p>
+
+<p>"'A ring!' I repeated; 'you must pardon me, but I really had no such
+thought.'</p>
+
+<p>"'How careless!' exclaimed Maria. 'Don't you know that plain rings are
+the only sort used at weddings? I wish I had pulled one off the window
+curtain before I came down. I dare say, Squire Pickwick would never
+notice whether it was brass or gold.'</p>
+
+<p>"'There is no need of troubling yourself about a ring,' said I.</p>
+
+<p>"'True,' replied she, 'Quakers get married without, and why should not
+we? But come, we must not stand parleying here. You can't think, Mr.
+Merrill, how glad I am that you came for me before any one else. I would
+much rather run away with you, than with Mr. Simpson, or Mr. Tomlins, or
+Mr. Carter. Pa' says if ever he does let me marry, he'll choose for me
+himself, and I have no doubt he'll choose some ugly fright. Fathers are
+such bad judges of people.'</p>
+
+<p>"'Miss Maria,' said I, 'you mistake me entirely, and this error must be
+rectified at once. I must positively undeceive you.'</p>
+
+<p>"At that moment, the door half opened&mdash;a hand was put out, and seizing
+the arm of Maria, drew her forcibly inside. The door was then shut, and
+double locked; and I heard her receding voice, loudly exclaiming&mdash;'Oh!
+pa'&mdash;now, indeed, pa'&mdash;who'd have thought, pa', that you were listening
+all the time!'</p>
+
+<p>"I stood motionless with joy and surprise at this opportune release&mdash;and
+I recollected that once during our scene on the door-step, I had thought
+I heard footsteps in the entry.</p>
+
+<p>"Presently the father put his head out of his own window and said to
+me&mdash;'Young man, you may go, I have locked her up.'&mdash;I took him at his
+word and departed, not a little pleased at having been extricated in so
+summary a way from the dilemma in which the absurdity of Strange Maria
+had involved me."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>About a week after this conversation, Cavender inquired of his friend,
+who was visiting him at his office, if he had again been out solus on a
+serenading excursion.</p>
+
+<p>"No," replied Merrill, "I have had enough of that nonsense. There is no
+better cure for folly, and particularly for romantic folly, than a good
+burlesque; and I find I have been parodied most ridiculously by that
+prince of fools, old Pharaby, the bachelor in an auburn wig and corsets,
+that lives next door to Miss Osbrook. This said Pharaby assumes a
+penchant for my opposite neighbour, the rich and handsome young widow,
+Mrs. Westwyn. Taking a hint from my serenading Emily Osbrook, but far
+outdoing me, he has every night since presented himself under the
+windows of the fair widow, and tinkled a guitar&mdash;which instrument he
+professes to have learned during a three months' consulship in one of
+the Spanish West India Islands. He plays Spanish, but sings Italian; and
+with a voice and manner to make Paggi tear his hair, and Pucci drop down
+dead.</p>
+
+<p>"Mrs. Westwyn, whom I escorted home last evening from a visit to Miss
+Osbrook, was congratulating herself on the appearance of rain; as it
+would of course prevent her from being disturbed that night by her usual
+serenader, the regularity of whose musical visitations had become, she
+said, absolutely intolerable.</p>
+
+<p>"About twelve o'clock, however, I heard the customary noise in front of
+Mrs. Westwyn's house, notwithstanding that the rain had set in, and was
+falling very fast. I looked out, and beheld the persevering inamorato
+standing upright beneath the shelter of an umbrella held over his head
+by a black man, and twitching the strings of his guitar to the air of
+'Dalla gioja.' I was glad when the persecuted widow, losing all
+patience, raised her sash, and in a peremptory tone, commanded him to
+depart and trouble her no more; threatening, if he ever again repeated
+the offence, to have him taken into custody by the watchman. Poor
+Pharaby was struck aghast; and being too much disconcerted to offer an
+apology, he stood motionless for a few moments, and then replacing his
+guitar in its case, and tucking it under his arm, he stole off round the
+corner, his servant following close behind with the umbrella. From that
+moment I abjured serenades."</p>
+
+<p>"What! all sorts?" inquired Cavender.</p>
+
+<p>"All," replied Merrill&mdash;"both gregarious and solitary. The truth is, I
+this morning obtained the consent of the loveliest of women to make me
+the happiest of men, this day three months; and therefore I have
+something else to think of than strumming guitars or blowing flutes
+about the streets at night."</p>
+
+<p>"I congratulate you, most sincerely," said Cavender, shaking hands with
+his friend; "Miss Osbrook is certainly, as the phrase is, possessed of
+every qualification to render the marriage state happy. And though I and
+my other associates in harmony have not so good an excuse for leaving
+off our musical rambles, yet I believe we shall, at least, give them up
+till next summer&mdash;and perhaps, by that time, we may have devised some
+other means of obtaining the good graces of the ladies."</p>
+
+<p>"But apropos to music," continued Cavender; "if I can obtain my sister's
+permission, I will show you a letter she received some time since from a
+young friend of hers with whom she is engaged in a whimsical
+correspondence under fictitious names, somewhat in imitation of the
+ladies of the last century. Both girls have been reading the Spectator,
+and have consequently taken a fancy to the Addisonian plan of
+occasionally throwing their ideas into the form of dreams or visions;
+addressing each other as Ariella Shadow and Ombrelina Vapour."</p>
+
+<p>Cavender then withdrew to his sister's parlour, and in a few minutes
+returned with the letter, which he put into Merrill's hand, telling him
+to read it while he finished looking over some deeds that had been left
+with him for examination.</p>
+
+<p>Merrill opened the letter, and perused its contents, which we will
+present to our readers under the title of</p>
+
+
+<p class="center">A DREAM OF SONGS.</p>
+
+
+<blockquote><p><span class="smcap">My Dear Ombrelina</span>,</p>
+
+<p>Last evening, on my return from Melania Medley's musical party,
+where nothing was played or sung that had been out more than two or
+three weeks, I could not but reflect on the fate that attends even
+the most meritorious compositions of the sons of song: honoured for
+awhile with a short-lived popularity, and then allowed to float
+down the stream of time unnoticed and forgotten&mdash;or only remembered
+as things too entirely <i>passé</i> to be listened to by "<i>ears
+polite</i>"&mdash;or even mentioned in their presence. It is true that as
+soon as a song becomes popular it ceases to be fashionable; but is
+not its popularity an evidence of its merit, or at least of its
+possessing melody and originality, and of its sounds being such as
+to give pleasure to the general ear? Who ever heard a dull and
+insipid tune played or sung in the streets, or whistled by the
+boys?</p>
+
+<p>Falling asleep with these notions in my head, they suggested a
+dream in which I imagined myself visited by impersonations of
+almost innumerable songs, many of which had been "pretty fellows in
+their day," but have now given place to others whose chief
+characteristic is that of having no character at all.</p>
+
+<p>The following outline may give you, dear Ombrelina, a slight idea
+of my vision, making due allowance for the confusion, incoherence,
+and absurdity that are always found in those pictures that
+imagination, when loosened from the control of reason, presents to
+the mind's eye of the slumberer.</p>
+
+<p>"I dreamt that I dwelt in marble halls," being mistress of a
+handsome and spacious mansion in a fine romantic country, whose
+hills and woodlands sloped down towards the ocean. I seemed to be
+duly prepared for the reception of a numerous party of visiters,
+whom I recognised intuitively, as soon as I saw them, for the
+heroes and heroines of certain well-known songs&mdash;also being
+familiar with the characters of many of them from my intimate
+acquaintance with Aunt Balladina's old music-books.</p>
+
+<p>The earliest of my guests were some much-esteemed friends,
+descendants of the "Scots wha hae wi' Wallace bled"&mdash;they wore "The
+Tartan Plaidie" and "The White Cockade"&mdash;and they looked as if they
+had all been "Over the Water to Charlie." I felt particularly
+honoured by the presence of that gallant chieftain, "Kinloch of
+Kinloch," who, for the express purpose of making me a visit, had
+relinquished for a time his grouse-shooting excursions "O'er the
+moor among the heather"&mdash;had given up his musings on "The banks and
+braes o' Bonnie Doon," and bade for awhile "Adieu, a heartwarm fond
+adieu" to "The Birks of Aberfeldy."</p>
+
+<p>Next arrived the ancient laird "Logie o' Buchan;" and then "Auld
+Robin Gray" came tottering along supported by his pensive daughter
+Alice, and by "Duncan Gray," his laughter-loving son, well known
+among the lasses as "The Braw Wooer." The Gray family took their
+seats at "The Ingle Side," where old "John Anderson" and his wife
+had already established themselves close together in two
+arm-chairs. "Logie o' Buchan" joined them; but his habits being
+somewhat taciturn, it was not till they talked of "Auld lang syne"
+that he was induced to mingle in the conversation&mdash;yet the ice once
+broken, he was as merry in his reminiscences as either of his
+companions.</p>
+
+<p>Robin Gray reminded the laird of Buchan of his elopement with that
+extreme blonde the "Lassie wi' the lint-white locks," who, when
+only "Within a mile of Edinburgh," had given him the slip and ran
+off with "Jockey to the Fair." The laird retaliated by laughing at
+Robin for having been one of the six-and-thirty suitors of that
+ugliest of heiresses, "Tibby Fouller o' the Glen." John Anderson
+was made to recollect his having been deserted in his youth by the
+beautiful but mercenary "Katrine Ogie," who afterwards became
+"Roy's wife of Aldivalloch," and in taking the carle and leaving
+her Johnnie, furnished another illustration of the fallacy of the
+remark, "Oh! say not woman's heart is bought."</p>
+
+<p>These old stories were at first very amusing, but they continued so
+long and with so many episodes and digressions, that we at length
+discovered "We were a' noddin." Finally they were interrupted by
+the arrival of "Bonnie Jean," "The Lass of Patie's Mill," "Bessie
+Bell and Mary Gray," and other "Flowers o' the Forest," who were
+following that gay deceiver "Robin Adair," himself a verification
+of the well-known fact that "Though love is warm awhile, soon it
+grows cold."</p>
+
+<p>Robin Adair, whose mind, after all, seems to have run chiefly on
+balls and plays (a visit to Paris having quite spoiled him for the
+society of "The Braes of Balquither"), had first made love to the
+unfortunate "Highland Mary," and then gayly and heartlessly quitted
+her with that useless piece of advice which nobody ever took, "Sigh
+not for love." Next he paid his devoirs to "Jessie the flower o'
+Dumblane," as he met her one morning "Comin' thro' the rye." And he
+had subsequently entered into a flirtation with "Dumbarton's bonny
+Belle"&mdash;a young lady whose literary and scientific achievements had
+lately procured for her the unique title of "The Blue Bell of
+Scotland." But it was whispered in the most authentic circles that
+she had recently frightened him away by asking him that puzzling
+question "Why does azure deck the sky?"</p>
+
+<p>Yet, however the follies and inconstancies of Robin Adair might
+have rendered him a favourite with the ladies (who often tapped him
+with their fans, saying, "Fly away pretty moth"), he did not seem
+to be held in equal esteem by his manly compatriots. On his
+presuming to clap "Young Lochinvar" on the shoulder, and accost him
+as "Friend of my soul," that high-spirited chieftain immediately
+proceeded to "Draw the sword o' Scotland," with a view of
+chastising his familiarity. But "Swift as the flash," Robin eluded
+the blow, and danced out of the room singing "I'd be a Butterfly."</p>
+
+<p>At the desire of several of the ladies, I accompanied them to the
+veranda to look at the prospect of the beautiful surrounding
+country, and our attention was soon arrested by notes of distant
+music.</p>
+
+<p>"What airy sounds!" was our unanimous exclamation; and we almost
+fancied that they must have proceeded from the "Harp of the winds,"
+till presently we heard the tramp of horses, and beheld a numerous
+company descending by its circuitous path the hill that rose in
+front of the house. As "I saw them on their winding way," I had no
+difficulty in recognising each individual of the troop.</p>
+
+<p>Foremost came "The Baron of Mowbray" mounted on his "Arab Steed,"
+and accompanied by a "Captive Knight" whom he had rescued from a
+Saracen prison, and I soon discovered that it was "Dunois the young
+and brave." Dunois was followed by his accomplished but wilful
+page, "The Minstrel Boy," who, having broken his harp in a fit of
+spite, was obliged to substitute an inferior instrument, and to
+strike "The Light Guitar," which he retained as "The Legacy" of a
+"Gallant Troubadour" who had fallen beside him in battle, and of
+whose untimely fate he had sent notice to his "Isabelle" by a
+"Carrier Pigeon."</p>
+
+<p>Behind the youthful minstrel strode a "Happy Tawny Moor" performing
+powerfully on "The Tartar Drum."</p>
+
+<p>"The Young Son of Chivalry" brought with him a beautiful damsel
+whom he had found in a "Bower of Roses by Bendameer's Stream"&mdash;and
+whose eyes, resembling those of "The Light Gazelle," identified her
+as "Araby's Daughter." "Rich and rare were the gems she wore;" and
+she had testified her readiness to "Fly to the Desert" with her
+bravo Dunois; to glide with him "Thro' icy valleys," in the wilds
+of Siberia; or to accompany him even across "The sea&mdash;the sea&mdash;the
+open sea." No music would have sounded so sweetly in her ear as
+"The Bridemaid's Chorus," and she would willingly have given all
+her pearls and diamonds in exchange for "The plain gold ring."</p>
+
+<p>Next came a gentleman in naval uniform, whom I gladly recognised as
+my former acquaintance, "The Post Captain;" for the last time "We
+met&mdash;'twas in a crowd"&mdash;and I had not an opportunity of saying more
+than a few words to him. He was not in his usual spirits, having
+lately been jilted by the beautiful but "Faithless Emma," who knew
+not how to value "The Manly Heart" that had so long been devoted to
+her. He was accompanied by a "Smart Young Midshipman," and followed
+at a respectful distance by some hardy-looking "Tars of Columbia,"
+who, whether exposed to the storms of "The Bay of Biscay," or
+sailing before the wind with "A wet sheet and a flowing sea," or
+engaged in contest with "The Mariners of England," are always ready
+to venture life and limb in the cause of "America, Commerce, and
+Freedom."</p>
+
+<p>After them came a motley group whose homes were to be found in
+every part of the world, and amongst whom even "The Gipsies' Wild
+Chant" was heard at intervals. Looking as if he had just issued
+from "The vale of Ovoca," and wrapping around him a damp overcoat,
+threadbare wherever it was whole, came an "Exile of Erin," who
+proved to be the famous serenading robber, "Ned of the Hills." Near
+him was another outlaw, "Allen-a-Dale," who, being something of an
+exquisite (notwithstanding his deficiency in ploughland and
+firewood) looked with hauteur on "The wayworn Traveller." The
+Hibernian freebooter was not, it is true, as well supported as when
+"Proudly and wide his standard flew;" having found by recent
+experience that it is not always safe to go a-robbing with flying
+colours: but he was not without his followers (what Irishman is?)
+and he and they returned with interest the contemptuous glances of
+the English brigand.</p>
+
+<p>There were representatives of every nation and of every period in
+which the voice of music has been heard. Some were serious and some
+were gay&mdash;some were dignified, and others very much the
+contrary&mdash;some had always moved in the first circle, and some were
+in the people's line. I saw a "Bavarian Broom Girl" endeavouring to
+persuade "Mynheer Van Clam" to waltz with her round the hill: but
+finding it impossible to induce in him a rotatory motion, and that
+his steps never could be made to describe a circle, she wisely gave
+him up for a "Merry Swiss Boy," who whirled round with her to her
+heart's content, though his sister would not dance, but was
+perpetually wailing "Oh! take me back to Switzerland." There was
+also the disdainful "Polly Hopkins" sailing round her ill-used but
+persevering lover, "Tommy Tompkins." Among others came the foolish
+"Maid of Lodi," ambling on her poney; the deplorable "Galley
+Slave;" the moaning "Beggar Girl;" and several others with whose
+company I could well have dispensed.</p>
+
+<p>The sound of voices now came from the sea, and we saw several boats
+approaching the shore&mdash;"Faintly as tolls the evening chime," we
+distinguished the Canadian rowers. Next came the fellow-fishermen
+of Masaniello chanting their Barcarole; and next we recognised the
+swiftly-gliding and "Bonnie Boat" of a party of musical Caledonians
+on their return from a fruitless attempt to wake the "Maid of
+Lorn." I looked in vain for my sensible and excellent friend, "The
+Pilot," whom I was afterwards informed by his daughter, "Black-eyed
+Susan," had gone to the assistance of an endangered vessel, whose
+"Minute Gun at Sea" he had heard the night before.</p>
+
+<p>I went down with the other ladies to the portico to receive the
+company that was every moment arriving, and I found the avenue that
+led to it already filled. Among the Hibernians, we saw a wandering
+musician who had "Come o'er the sea" to pursue his profession.
+However, he succeeded but badly; after several attempts, finding it
+impossible even to "Remember the glories of Brian the Brave." The
+truth is, he was confused and disconcerted by discovering, when too
+late, that the harp he had in haste brought with him, was the
+identical one which had hung so long on Tara's walls that its soul
+of music was undoubtedly fled; all the strings being broken. This
+<i>contre-tems</i> excited the sneers of the English part of his
+audience, but I besought them to "Blame not the bard," whose
+countrymen I saw were beginning to kindle in his behalf, and
+knowing that "Avenging and bright are the swift swords of Erin," I
+made peace by ordering refreshments to be brought out, and sending
+round among them the "Crooskeen Lawn."</p>
+
+<p>Again the sound of distant music floated on the air from "Over the
+hills and far away." At first, we thought that "The Campbells were
+coming" (none of that noble and warlike clan having accompanied the
+numerous "Sons of the Clyde" that had already arrived), and the
+male part of our company were preparing to "Hurrah for the Bonnets
+of Blue." But as the sounds approached, they were easily
+distinguished for the ever-charming and exhilarating notes of "The
+Hunters' Chorus," that splendid triumph of musical genius. We soon
+saw the bold yagers of the Hartz forest descending the path that
+led round the hill, their rifles in their hands, their oak-sprigs
+in their hats, and looking as much at home as if they were still in
+their "Father-land."</p>
+
+<p>I welcomed the whole company, though well aware that among them all
+there was "Nobody coming to marry me;" and, as "Twilight dews were
+falling fast," I invited them into the house, which fortunately was
+large enough to accommodate them. The evening was spent in much
+hilarity. "Merrily every bosom boundeth," and "Away with
+melancholy," was the general feeling. A toast was suggested in
+compliment to their hostess; but unwilling that they should "Drink
+to me only," I proposed "A health to all good lasses," and it went
+round with enthusiasm.</p>
+
+<p>Our festivity met with a little interruption from "The Maid of
+Marlivale," who, while taking one of her usual moonlight rambles,
+had been frightened by something that she supposed to be "The Erl
+King," and she rushed in among us, in a state of terror which we
+had some difficulty in appeasing.</p>
+
+<p>After supper, at which "Jim Crow" was chief waiter (till his
+antics obliged me to dismiss him from the room), music and dancing
+continued till a late hour. At length "I knew by the smoke" that
+the lamps were about to expire, and I was not sorry when the party
+from Scotland broke up the company by taking leave with "Gude
+night, and joy be wi' you a'"&mdash;and in a short time "All the blue
+bonnets were over the border." I must tell you in confidence, my
+dear Ombrelina, that "A chieftain to the highlands bound" presented
+me "The last rose of summer," and was very importunate with me to
+become the companion of his journey and the lady of his castle; but
+I had no inclination to intrust my happiness to a stranger, and to
+bid "My native land, good night."</p>
+
+<p>Hitherto, whenever, "I've wandered in dreams," it has generally
+been my unlucky fate to lose all distinct recollection of them
+before "The morn unbars the gates of light." This once I have been
+more fortunate. But still, my dear Ombrelina, I think it safest to
+intrust to your care this slight memorandum of my singular vision.
+And should you lose it, and I forget it, we have still the
+consolation that "'Tis but fancy's sketch."</p>
+
+<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Ariella Shadow.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+<p>"In truth," said Merrill, folding up the letter, after making various
+comments upon it, "on the subject of music, this young lady seems quite
+<i>au naturel</i>. I fear for her success in society."</p>
+
+<p>"Then," observed Cavender, "you must exert your influence in inducing
+her to change or suppress her opinion on this topic, and perhaps on some
+others in which she may be equally at variance with <i>les gens comme il
+faut</i>."</p>
+
+<p>"My influence?" replied Merrill. "Is it possible that I know the lady?"</p>
+
+<p>"You know her so well," answered Cavender, "that I wonder you are
+unacquainted with her autograph; but I suppose your courtship has been
+altogether verbal."</p>
+
+<p>"Emily Osbrook!" exclaimed Merrill. "Is she, indeed, the author of this
+letter? It is singular enough that I have never yet happened to see her
+handwriting; and once seen, I could not have forgotten it. But I can
+assure you that she has sufficient knowledge of the art to be fully
+capable of appreciating its difficulties and understanding its beauties,
+and of warmly admiring whatever of our fashionable music is really good;
+that is, when the sound is not only a combination of beautiful tones,
+but also an echo to the sense. We have often lamented that so many fine
+composers have deigned to furnish charming airs for common-place or
+nonsensical poetry, and that some of the most exquisite effusions of our
+poets are degraded by an association with tasteless and insipid music.
+But when music that is truly excellent is 'married to immortal verse,'
+and when the words are equal to the air, who does not perceive that the
+hearers listen with two-fold enjoyment?"</p>
+
+<p>"Two-fold!" exclaimed Cavender.&mdash;"The pleasure of listening to
+delightful notes, with delightful words, uttered with taste and feeling
+by an accomplished and intellectual singer, is one of the most perfect
+that can fall to the lot of beings who are unable to hear the music of
+the spheres and the songs of Paradise."</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="SOCIABLE_VISITING" id="SOCIABLE_VISITING"></a>SOCIABLE VISITING.</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"Shadows, clouds, and darkness rest upon it."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Addison.</span></p></blockquote>
+
+<p>After a residence of several years at their country-house in the
+vicinity of Philadelphia, circumstances induced Mr. Heathcote to
+establish himself again in the city. This removal gave great
+satisfaction to his family, particularly to his wife and to his two
+elder children, Harriet and Albert, as they all had very good reasons
+for preferring a decided town-life to the numerous conveniences of
+ruralizing at a villa both in winter and summer. They were called on in
+due time by all their former city friends; most of whom, indeed, had
+sedulously kept up their acquaintance with the Heathcote family by
+frequent visits to them during their long sojourn in the country.</p>
+
+<p>By all these friends, the Heathcotes were invited to tea in form,
+sometimes to large parties, sometimes to small parties, and sometimes to
+meet only the family circle. And Mrs. Heathcote had made a return for
+these civilities by giving an evening party, which included the whole
+range of her friends and acquaintances, while her husband got rid of his
+similar obligations by a series of dinners.</p>
+
+<p>These duties being over, and the family settled quietly down into
+every-day life, the invitations for particular times became less
+frequent; gradually subsiding into pressing entreaties from their
+friends to waive all formality, and to come sociably and take tea with
+them whenever they felt an inclination, without waiting for the ceremony
+of being regularly asked. These intimations were at once declined by
+Mrs. Heathcote, who declared herself "no visitor," her large family (for
+she had eight children) giving her always sufficient occupation at
+home. Such excuses, however, were not admitted from Harriet, who was
+handsome, lively, and intelligent, and much liked by all who knew her.
+She was fond of society, and had no objection to visiting in all its
+branches. Her days were generally passed in constant and rational
+employment, and though her evenings were pleasant enough at home, still
+she liked variety, and thought it would be very agreeable to visit her
+friends occasionally on the terms proposed; and she anticipated much
+quiet enjoyment at these extemporaneous tea-drinkings. We must premise
+that the sociable visits performed by our heroine did not, in reality,
+all follow each other consecutively, though, for the sake of brevity, it
+is expedient for us to relate them in that manner. Between some of them
+were long intervals, during which she, of course, received occasional
+invitations in regular form; and a due proportion of her evenings was
+spent in places of public amusement. Our present design is merely to
+give a sketch of the events which ensued when Harriet Heathcote, taking
+her friends at their word, availed herself of their earnest entreaties
+to visit them <i>sociably</i>: that is, without being either invited or
+expected.</p>
+
+<p>In compliance with the oft-repeated request of her old acquaintances,
+the two Miss Drakelows, to spend a long afternoon with them, coming
+early and bringing her sewing, our heroine set out on this visit at four
+o'clock, taking her work-basket in her hand. The Miss Drakelows, indeed,
+had urged her to come immediately after dinner, that they might have the
+longer enjoyment of her company; and Harriet, for her part, liked them
+so well (for they were very agreeable girls), that she had no
+apprehension of finding the visit tedious.</p>
+
+<p>On arriving at the house, the servant who opened the door informed her
+that both the young ladies were out. Harriet, much disappointed, was
+turning to go home again, when their mother, old Mrs. Drakelow, appeared
+at the door of the front parlour, and hastening forward, seized her by
+both hands, and insisted on her coming in, saying that Ellen and Fanny
+had only gone out shopping with Mrs. Eastwood (their married sister),
+and that she was in momentary expectation of their return. Harriet found
+it so difficult to resist the entreaties of the old lady, who was always
+delighted to see visiters, that she yielded and accompanied her into the
+parlour.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, my dear Miss Harriet," said Mrs. Drakelow, "I am really very glad
+that you have come, at last, just as we wished you, without any
+ceremony. I always think a visit the more agreeable for being
+unexpected. Do take off your cloak. My daughters will be at home in a
+few minutes, and I dare say they will bring Mrs. Eastwood with them, and
+then we will make her stay to tea. We shall have a charming evening."</p>
+
+<p>Miss Heathcote took out her work, and Mrs. Drakelow resumed her
+knitting, and endeavoured to entertain her guest by enumerating those
+among her own acquaintances that persisted in using knitting-sheaths,
+and those that could knit just as well without them by holding the
+needles in a different manner. She also discussed the relative merits of
+ribbed welts and rolled welts, and gave due honour to certain
+expeditious ladies that could knit a pair of large stockings in three
+days; and higher glory still to several that had been known to perform
+that exploit in <i>two</i> days.</p>
+
+<p>In truth, the old lady was one of those dull wearisome people, that are
+only tolerated because they are good and respectable. She had no
+reading; no observation, except of trifles not worth observing; no
+memory, but of things not worth remembering, and her ideas, which were
+very limited in number, had all her life flowed in the same channel.
+Still, Mrs. Drakelow thought herself a very sensible woman, and believed
+that her conversation could not be otherwise than agreeable; and
+therefore, whenever she had an opportunity, she talked almost
+incessantly. It is true, that when her daughters were present, she was
+content to be comparatively silent, as she regarded them with great
+deference, and listened to them always with habitual admiration.</p>
+
+<p>Evening came, and the young ladies did not return; though Mrs. Drakelow
+was still expecting them every moment. Finally, she concluded that Mrs.
+Eastwood had prevailed on them to go home and take tea with her. "So
+much the better for me," said Mrs. Drakelow, "for now, my dear Miss
+Harriet, I shall have you all to myself." She then ordered tea to be
+brought immediately, and Harriet saw nothing in prospect but a long,
+tedious evening with the prosing old lady; and she knew that it would be
+at least nine o'clock, or perhaps ten, before her brother came to see
+her home.</p>
+
+<p>The evening, as she anticipated, was indeed tedious. Mrs. Drakelow took
+upon herself "the whole expense of the conversation," talked of cheap
+shops and dear shops, and specified the prices that had been given for
+almost every article of dress that had been purchased by her daughters
+or herself during the last year. She told a long story of a piece of
+linen which her friend Mrs. Willett had bought for her husband, and
+which went to pieces before it was made up, splitting down in streaks
+during the process of stroking the gathers. She told the rent that was
+given by all her acquaintances that lived in rented houses, and the
+precise price paid by those that had purchased their dwellings. She
+described minutely the particulars of several long illnesses that had
+taken place among her relations and friends; and the exact number of
+persons that attended their funerals when they died, as on those
+occasions she said she made it a rule always to count the company. She
+mentioned several circumstances which proved to demonstration, that the
+weather was usually cold in winter and warm in summer; and she gave a
+circumstantial history of her four last cats, with suitable episodes of
+rats and mice.</p>
+
+<p>The old lady's garrulity was so incessant, her tone so monotonous, and
+her narratives so totally devoid of either point or interest, that Miss
+Heathcote caught herself several times on the verge of falling asleep.
+She frequently stole anxious glances at the time-piece, and when it was
+nine o'clock she roused herself by the excitement of hoping every moment
+for the arrival of Albert.</p>
+
+<p>At length she heard the agreeable sound of the door-bell, but it was
+only a shoemaker's boy that had brought home a pair of new shoes for
+Mrs. Drakelow, who tried them on, and talked about them for half an
+hour, telling various stories of tight shoes and loose shoes, long shoes
+and short shoes. Finally, Albert Heathcote made his welcome appearance,
+and Harriet joyfully prepared for her departure; though the old lady
+entreated her "to sit awhile longer, and not to take away her brother so
+soon."</p>
+
+<p>"You cannot imagine," said Mrs. Drakelow, "how disappointed the girls
+will feel, at happening to be from home on this afternoon above all
+others. If they had had the most distant idea of a visit from you
+to-day, they would, I am sure, have either deferred their shopping, or
+made it as short as possible. But do not be discouraged, my dear Miss
+Harriet," continued the good old lady, "I hope you will very soon favour
+us with another sociable visit. I really do not know when I have passed
+so pleasant an evening. It has seemed to me not more than half an hour
+since tea."</p>
+
+<p>About a fortnight afterwards, Miss Heathcote went to take tea, sociably,
+with her friend Mrs. Rushbrook, who had been married about eighteen
+months, and whom she had known intimately for many years. This time, she
+went quite late, and was glad to be informed that Mrs. Rushbrook was at
+home. She was shown into the parlour, where she waited till long after
+the lamp was lighted, in momentary expectation of the appearance of her
+friend, who had sent down word that she would be with her in a few
+minutes. Occasionally, whenever the nursery door was opened, Harriet
+heard violent screams of the baby.</p>
+
+<p>At length Mrs. Rushbrook came down, apologized to Miss Heathcote for
+making her wait, and said that poor little George was very unwell, and
+had been fretful and feverish all day; and that he had just been got to
+sleep with much difficulty, having cried incessantly for more than an
+hour. Harriet now regretted having chosen this day for her visit (the
+baby being so much indisposed), and she offered to conclude it
+immediately, only requesting that the servant-man might see her home, as
+it had long been quite dark. But Mrs. Rushbrook would not listen to
+Harriet's proposal of going away so soon, and insisted on her staying to
+tea as she had intended; saying that she had no doubt the baby would be
+much better when he awoke. At her pressing instances, Miss Heathcote
+concluded to remain. In a short time Mr. Rushbrook came home, and his
+wife detailed to him all the particulars of the baby's illness. Harriet,
+who was accustomed to children, saw that in all probability the
+complaint would be attended with no serious consequences. But young
+married people are very naturally prone to take alarm at the slightest
+ailment of their first child: a feeling which no one should censure,
+however far it may be carried, as it originates in the best affections
+of the human heart.</p>
+
+<p>Though Mr. and Mrs. Rushbrook tried to entertain their visitor, and to
+listen to her when she talked, Harriet could not but perceive that their
+minds were all the time with the infant up-stairs; and they frequently
+called each other out of the room to consult about him.</p>
+
+<p>After tea, the baby awoke and renewed its screams, and Mr. Rushbrook
+determined to go himself for the doctor, who had already been brought
+thither three times that day. Finding that it was a physician who lived
+in her immediate neighbourhood, Harriet wisely concluded to shorten her
+unlucky visit by availing herself of Mr. Rushbrook's protection to her
+own door. Mrs. Rushbrook took leave of our heroine with much civility,
+but with very evident satisfaction, and said to her at parting, "To
+tell you the truth, my dear Harriet, if I had known that you designed me
+the pleasure of a visit this evening, I would have candidly requested
+you to defer it till another time, as poor little George has been unwell
+since early in the morning."</p>
+
+<p>Harriet's next sociable visit was to the two Miss Brandons, who had
+always appeared to her as very charming girls, and remarkable for their
+affectionate manner towards each other. Being left in affluent
+circumstances at the decease of their father (the mother died while they
+were children), Letitia and Charlotte Brandon lived together in a very
+genteel establishment, under the protection of an unmarried brother, who
+was just now absent on business in the West. Harriet had always imagined
+them in possession of an unusual portion of happiness, for they were
+young, handsome, rich, at their own disposal, with no one to control
+them, and, as she supposed, nothing to trouble them. She did not know,
+or rather she did not believe (for she had heard some whispers of the
+fact), that in reality the Miss Brandons lived half their time at open
+war; both having tempers that were very irritable, and also very
+implacable, for it is not true that the more easily anger is excited,
+the sooner it subsides. It so happened, however, that Miss Heathcote had
+only seen these young ladies during their occasional fits of
+good-humour, when they were at peace with each other, and with all the
+world; and at such times no women could possibly be more amiable.</p>
+
+<p>On the morning before Harriet Heathcote's visit, a violent quarrel had
+taken place between the two sisters, and therefore they were not on
+speaking terms, nor likely to be so in less than a fortnight; that being
+the period they generally required to smooth down their angry passions,
+before they could find it in their hearts to resume the usual routine of
+even common civility. There was this difference in the two ladies:
+Charlotte was the most passionate, Letitia the most rancorous.</p>
+
+<p>When Harriet arrived, she found the Miss Brandons alone in the back
+parlour, sitting at opposite sides of the fire, with each a book.
+Charlotte, who was just the age of Harriet, looked pleased at the sight
+of a visiter, whose company she thought would be preferable to the
+alternative of passing the evening with her sister in utter silence; and
+she had some faint hope that the presence of Miss Heathcote might
+perhaps induce Letitia to make some little exertion to conceal her
+ill-humour. And therefore Charlotte expressed great pleasure when she
+found that Harriet had come to spend the evening with them. But Letitia,
+after a very cold salutation, immediately rose and left the room, with
+an air that showed plainly she did not intend to consider Miss Heathcote
+as in part her visiter, but exclusively as her sister Charlotte's.</p>
+
+<p>Charlotte followed Letitia with her eyes, and looked very angry, but
+after a few moments, she smothered her resentment so far as to attempt a
+sort of apology, saying, "she believed her sister had the headache." She
+then commenced a conversation with Harriet, who endeavoured to keep it
+up with her usual vivacity; but was disconcerted to find that Charlotte
+was too uncomfortable, and her mind evidently too much abstracted,
+either to listen attentively, or to take the least interest in anything
+she said.</p>
+
+<p>In a short time the table was set, and Charlotte desired the servant to
+go up-stairs and ask Miss Letitia if she was coming down to tea, or if
+she should send her some. The man departed, and was gone a long while.
+When he returned&mdash;"Is Miss Letitia coming down to tea?" asked Charlotte
+anxiously; "Miss Letitia don't say," replied the man. Charlotte bit her
+lip in vexation, and then with something that resembled a sigh, invited
+Harriet to take her seat at the table, and began to pour out. When tea
+was about half over, Letitia made her appearance, walking with great
+dignity, and looking very cross. She sat down in silence, opposite to
+Harriet. "Sister," said Charlotte, in a voice of half-suppressed anger,
+"shall I give you black tea or green? you know you sometimes take one
+and sometimes the other." "I'll help myself," replied Letitia, in a
+voice of chilling coldness. And taking up one of the tea-pots she
+proceeded to do so. As soon as she put the cup to her lips, she set it
+down again with apparent disgust, saying&mdash;"This tea is not fit to
+drink." Charlotte, making a visible effort to restrain herself, placed
+the other tea-pot within her sister's reach; Letitia poured out a few
+drops by way of trial, tasted it, then pushed it away with still greater
+disgust than before, and threw herself back in her chair, casting a look
+of indignation at Charlotte, and murmuring,&mdash;"'Tis always so when I do
+not preside at the tea-table myself."</p>
+
+<p>Charlotte sat swelling with anger, afraid to trust herself to speak,
+while Harriet, affecting not to notice what was passing, made an attempt
+to talk on some indifferent subject, and addressed to Letitia a few
+words which she did not answer, and handed her some waffles which she
+would not take. Never had Harriet been present at so uncomfortable a
+repast, and heartily did she wish herself at home, regretting much that
+she had happened to pay a visit during this state of hostilities.</p>
+
+<p>After the failure of both sorts of tea, Letitia sat in silent
+indignation till the table was cleared, leaning back in her chair,
+eating nothing, but crumbling a piece of bread to atoms, and
+pertinaciously averting her head both from Charlotte and Harriet.</p>
+
+<p>When tea was over, Harriet hoped that Letitia would retire to her own
+room, but on the contrary the lady was perversely bent on staying in the
+parlour. Charlotte and Harriet placed themselves at the sofa-table with
+their sewing, and Letitia desired the servant-man to bring her one of
+the new table-cloths that had been sent home that morning. Then making
+him light a lamp that stood in the corner of the mantel-piece, she
+seated herself under it on a low chair, and commenced silently and
+sedulously the task of ravelling or fringing the ends of the
+table-cloth, while Charlotte looked at her from time to time with
+ill-suppressed resentment. Now and then, Harriet, in the hope of
+conciliating Letitia into something like common civility, addressed a
+few words to her in as pleasant a manner as possible, but Letitia
+replied only by a cold monosyllable, and finally made no answer at all.
+Charlotte was too angry at her sister to be able to sustain anything
+that could be called a conversation with Miss Heathcote, and Harriet,
+rather than say nothing, began to describe a very entertaining new novel
+that had lately appeared, relating with great vivacity some of its most
+amusing scenes. But she soon found that Charlotte was too much out of
+humour with her sister to be able to give much attention to the
+narrative, and that her replies and comments were <i>distrait</i> and
+<i>mal-à-propos</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Letitia sat coldly fringing the table-cloth, and showing no sort of
+emotion, except that she threw the ravellings into the fire with rather
+more energy than was necessary, and occasionally jogged the foot that
+rested on a cushion before her; and she resolutely refused to partake of
+the refreshments that were brought in after tea.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Heathcote sat in momentary dread of an explosion, as she saw that
+the angry glances of Charlotte towards the lady fringing the
+table-cloth, were becoming more frequent and more vivid, that her colour
+was heightening, and the tremor of her voice increasing. Our heroine was
+heartily glad of the arrival of her brother about nine o'clock, an hour
+earlier than she expected him. He explained, in a few words, that being
+desirous of returning to the theatre to see a favourite after-piece, he
+had thought it best to come for his sister as soon as the play was over,
+rather than keep her waiting for him till near eleven, before which time
+it was not probable that the whole entertainment would be finished.
+Charlotte, who was evidently impatient for an outbreak, saw Miss
+Heathcote depart with visible satisfaction, and Letitia merely bowed her
+head to the adieu of our heroine, who, vexed at herself for having
+volunteered her visit on this ill-omened day, felt it a relief to quit
+the presence of these unamiable sisters, and "leave them alone in their
+glory."</p>
+
+<p>The black girl that had brought down her hood and cloak, ran forward to
+open the street door, and said in a low voice to Harriet, "I suppose,
+miss, you did not know before you came, that our ladies had a high
+quarrel this morning, and are affronted, and don't speak. But I dare say
+they will come to, in the course of a few weeks, and then I hope you'll
+pay us another visit, for company's <i>scace</i>."</p>
+
+<p>When Harriet equipped herself to pass a <i>sociable</i> evening with the
+Urlingford family, who were among the most agreeable of her friends, she
+could not possibly anticipate any <i>contre-tems</i> that would mar the
+pleasure of the visit. She arrived about dusk, and was somewhat
+surprised to find the whole family already at their tea. Mrs. Urlingford
+and the young ladies received her very cordially, but looked a little
+disconcerted, and Harriet apologized for interrupting them at table, by
+saying, that she thought their tea-hour was not till seven o'clock.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Urlingford replied, that seven o'clock <i>was</i> their usual hour for
+tea, but on that evening they had it much earlier than usual, that it
+might be over before the arrival of some of their musical friends, who
+were coming to practise with her daughters.</p>
+
+<p>"Really, my dear Harriet," pursued Mrs. Urlingford, "I am rejoiced that
+you happened to fix on this evening for favouring us with an
+unceremonious visit. Though I know that you always decline playing and
+singing in company, and that you persist in saying you have very little
+knowledge of music, yet I think too highly of your taste and feeling not
+to be convinced of your fondness for that delightful art, and I am
+certain you will be much gratified by what you will hear to-night,
+though this is only a private practising; indeed a mere rehearsal. Next
+week we will have a general music-party, the first of a series which we
+have arranged to take place at intervals of a fortnight, and to which we
+intend ourselves the pleasure of sending invitations to you and all our
+other friends. This, of to-night, is, I repeat, nothing more than a
+rehearsal, and we expect only a few professional musicians, whose
+assistance we have secured for our regular musical soirées. I am very
+glad, indeed, my dear Harriet, that you chance to be with us this
+evening. As I said, we have tea earlier than usual, that the music may
+begin the sooner, and at ten o'clock we will have coffee and other
+refreshments handed round."</p>
+
+<p>By this time, the table was newly set, fresh tea was made, and some
+additional nice things were produced. Harriet, who was very sorry for
+having caused any unnecessary trouble, sat down to her tea, which she
+despatched in all possible haste, as she knew that Mrs. Urlingford must
+be impatient to have the table cleared away, previous to the arrival of
+the musicians, who were now momentarily expected. Just as Harriet was
+finishing, there came in a German that played on the violon-cello, and
+was always very early. On being asked if he had taken tea, he replied in
+the affirmative, but that he would have no objection to a little more.
+Accordingly he sat down and made a long and hearty meal, to the evident
+annoyance of the family, and still more to that of Harriet Heathcote,
+who knew that the table would long since have been removed, had it not
+been detained on her account. There was nothing now to be done, but to
+close the folding-doors, and shut in the German till he had completed
+his repast, as others of the company were fast arriving. And though
+Harriet had been told that this was merely a private practising, she
+soon found herself in the midst of something that very much resembled a
+large party; so many persons having been invited exclusive of the
+regular performers. She understood, however, that nobody had been asked
+to this rehearsal, who had not a decided taste for music.</p>
+
+<p>Our heroine, for her part, had no extraordinary talent for that
+difficult and elegant accomplishment; and, after taking lessons for
+about a year, it was considered best that she should give it up, as her
+voice was of no great compass, and there was little probability of her
+reaching any proficiency, as an instrumental musician, that would
+compensate for an undue expense of time, money, and application.
+Therefore, Harriet had never advanced beyond simple ballads, which she
+played and sang agreeably and correctly enough, but which she only
+attempted when her audience consisted exclusively of her own family; and
+none of her brothers and sisters had as yet shown any taste for that
+sort of music which is commonly called scientific.</p>
+
+<p>The Urlingfords, on the contrary, could all sing and play; the girls on
+the harp, piano, and guitar; and the boys on the flute, and violin. They
+all had voices of great power, and sung nothing but Italian.</p>
+
+<p>The evening was passed in the performance of pieces that exhibited much
+science, and much difficulty of execution: such pieces, in short, as Dr.
+Johnson wished were "impossible." Being totally at variance with the
+simplicity of Harriet's taste, she found them very uninteresting, and
+inconceivably fatiguing, and after a while she had great difficulty in
+keeping herself awake. Of course, not a word was uttered during the
+performance, and the concertos, potpourris, arias, and cavatinas
+succeeded each other so rapidly that there was no interval in which to
+snatch a few moments of conversation. It is true the purport of the
+meeting was music, and music alone.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Heathcote almost envied a young lady, who, having learnt all her
+music in Europe, had come home with an enthusiasm for feats of voice and
+finger, that on all these occasions transported her into the third
+heaven. She sat with her neck stretched forward, and her hands
+out-spread, her lips half open, her eyes sometimes raised as in ecstasy,
+and sometimes closed in overpowering bliss. But Harriet's envy of such
+exquisite sensations was a little checked, when she observed Miss Denham
+stealing a sly glance all round, to see who was looking at her, and
+admiring her enthusiasm. And then Harriet could not help thinking how
+very painful it must be (when only done for effect) to keep up such an
+air and attitude of admiration during a whole long evening.</p>
+
+<p>Our heroine was also much entertained in the early part of the
+performance, particularly during a grand concerto, by observing the
+musician who officiated as leader, and was a foreigner of great skill in
+his profession. In him there was certainly no affectation. To have the
+piece performed in the most perfect manner, was "the settled purpose of
+his soul." All the energies of his mind and body were absorbed in this
+one object, and he seemed as if the whole happiness of his future life,
+nay, his existence itself, depended on its success. The piece was
+proceeding in its full tide of glory, and the leader was waving his bow
+with more pride and satisfaction than a monarch ever felt in wielding
+his sceptre, or a triumphant warrior in brandishing his sword. Suddenly
+he gave "a look of horror and a sudden start," and turning instantly
+round, his eyes glared fiercely over the whole circle of performers in
+search of the culprit who had been guilty of a false note; an error
+which would scarcely have been noticed by any of the company, had it not
+been made so conspicuous by the shock it had given to the chief
+musician. The criminal, however, was only discovered by his
+injudiciously "hiding his diminished head." Better for him to have been
+"a fine, gay, bold-faced villain."</p>
+
+<p>Harriet could not help remarking that though the company all applauded
+every song that was sung, and every piece that was played, and that at
+the conclusion of each, the words "charming," "exquisite," "divine,"
+were murmured round the room, still almost every one looked tired, many
+were evidently suppressing their inclination to yawn&mdash;some took
+opportunities of looking privately at their watches; and Mr. Urlingford
+and another old gentleman slept a duet together in a corner. The
+entrance of the coffee, &amp;c., produced a wonderful revival, and restored
+animation to eyes that seemed ready to close in slumber. The company all
+started from the listless postures into which they had unconsciously
+thrown themselves, and every one sat up straight. As soon as she had
+drunk a cup of the refreshing beverage, Miss Heathcote was glad to avail
+herself of her brother's arrival and take her leave; Mrs. Urlingford,
+congratulating her again on having been so fortunate as to drop in
+exactly on that evening, and telling her that she should certainly
+expect her at all her musical parties throughout the season.</p>
+
+<p>And Harriet might perhaps have gone to the first one, had she not been
+so unluckily present at the rehearsal.</p>
+
+<p>On the next uninvited visit of our heroine, she found her friends, the
+three Miss Celbridges, sitting in the parlour with their mother, by no
+other light than that of the fire, and all looking extremely dejected.
+On inquiring if they were well, they answered in the affirmative. Her
+next question was to ask when they had heard from Baltimore, in which
+place some of their nearest relations were settled. The reply was, that
+they had received letters that morning, and that their friends were in
+good health. "Well, girls," said Harriet, gayly, "you see I have taken
+you at your word, and have come to pass the evening with you <i>sans
+ceremonie</i>."</p>
+
+<p>The Miss Celbridges exchanged looks with their mother, who cast down her
+eyes and said nothing; and one of the young ladies silently assisted
+Harriet in taking off her walking habiliments. There was an air of
+general constraint, and our heroine began to fear that her visit was not
+quite acceptable. "Is it possible," thought she, "that I could
+unconsciously have given any offence at our last meeting?" But she
+recollected immediately, that the Miss Celbridges had then taken leave
+of her with the most unequivocal evidences of cordiality, and had
+earnestly insisted on her coming to drink tea with them, as often as she
+felt a desire, assuring her that they should always be delighted to see
+her "in a sociable way."</p>
+
+<p>The young ladies made an effort at conversation, but it was visibly an
+effort. The minds of the Miss Celbridges were all palpably engrossed
+with something quite foreign to the topic of discussion, and Harriet was
+too much surprised, and too much embarrassed to talk with her usual
+fluency.</p>
+
+<p>At length Mr. Celbridge entered the room, and after slightly saluting
+Miss Heathcote, asked why the lamp was not lighted. It was done&mdash;and
+Harriet then perceived by the redness of their eyes, that the mother and
+daughters had all been in tears. Mr. Celbridge looked also very
+melancholy, and seating himself beside his wife, he entered into a low
+and earnest conversation with her. Mrs. Celbridge held her handkerchief
+to her face, and Harriet could no longer refrain from inquiring if the
+family had been visited by any unexpected misfortune. There was a pause,
+during which the daughters evidently struggled to command their
+feelings, and Mr. Celbridge, after a few moments' hesitation, replied in
+a tremulous voice: "Perhaps, Miss Heathcote, you know not that to-day I
+have become a bankrupt; that the unexpected failure of a house for which
+I had endorsed to a large amount, has deprived me of the earnings of
+twenty years, and reduced me to indigence."</p>
+
+<p>Harriet was much shocked, and expressed her entire ignorance of the
+fact. "We supposed," said Mrs. Celbridge, "that it must have been known
+universally&mdash;and such reports always spread with too much rapidity."
+"Surely," replied Harriet, taking the hand of Mrs. Celbridge, "you
+cannot seriously believe that it was known to <i>me</i>. The slightest
+intimation of this unfortunate event, would certainly have deterred me
+from interrupting you with my presence at a time when the company of a
+visitor must be so painfully irksome to the whole family."</p>
+
+<p>She then rose, and said that if Mr. Celbridge would have the kindness to
+accompany her to her own door, she would immediately go home. "I will
+not dissemble, my dear Miss Heathcote," replied Mrs. Celbridge, "and
+urge you to remain, when it must be evident to you that none of us are
+in a state to make your visit agreeable to you, or indeed to derive
+pleasure from it ourselves. After the first shock is over, we shall be
+able, I hope, to look on our reverse of fortune with something like
+composure. And when we are settled in the humble habitation to which we
+must soon remove, we shall be glad indeed to have our evenings
+occasionally enlivened by the society of one whom we have always been so
+happy to class among our friends."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Celbridge escorted Harriet to her own residence, which was only at a
+short distance. She there found that her brother, having just heard of
+the failure, and knowing that she intended spending the evening at Mr.
+Celbridge's, had sent her from his office a note to prevent her going,
+but it had not arrived till after her departure.</p>
+
+<p>Among Miss Heathcote's acquaintances was Mrs. Accleton, a very young
+lady recently married, who on receiving her bridal-visits, had given out
+that she intended to live economically, and not to indulge in any
+unnecessary expense. She emphatically proclaimed her resolution never to
+give a party; but she did not even insinuate that she would never go to
+a party herself. She also declared that it did not comport with her
+plans (young girls when just married are apt to talk much of their
+plans) to have any regularly invited company; but that it would always
+afford her the greatest possible pleasure to see her friends <i>sociably</i>,
+if they would come and take tea with her, whenever it was convenient to
+themselves, and without waiting for her to appoint any particular time.
+"My husband and I," said Mrs. Accleton, "intend spending all our
+evenings at home, so there is no risk of ever finding us out. We are too
+happy in each other to seek for amusement abroad; and we find by
+experience that nothing the world can offer is equal to our own domestic
+felicity, varied occasionally by the delightful surprise of an
+unceremonious visit from an intimate friend."</p>
+
+<p>It was not till after the most urgent entreaties, often reiterated, that
+Harriet Heathcote undertook one of these visits to Mrs. Accleton. After
+ringing at the street-door till her patience was nearly exhausted, it
+was opened by a sulky-looking white girl, who performed the office of
+porteress with a very ill grace, hiding herself behind it because she
+was not in full dress; and to Harriet's inquiry if Mrs. Accleton was at
+home, murmuring in a most repulsive tone that "she believed she was."</p>
+
+<p>Our heroine was kept waiting a considerable time in a cold and
+comfortless, though richly-furnished parlour, where the splendid
+coal-grate exhibited no evidences of fire, but a mass of cinders
+blackening at the bottom. At length Mrs. Accleton made her appearance,
+fresh from the toilet, and apologized by saying, that expecting no one
+that afternoon, she had ever since dinner been sitting up stairs in her
+wrapper. "About twelve o'clock," said she, "I always, when the weather
+is fine, dress myself and have the front-parlour fire made up, in case
+of morning-visiters. But after dinner, I usually put on a wrapper, and
+establish myself in the dining-room for the remainder of the day. My
+husband and I have got into the habit of spending all our evenings
+there. It is a charmingly comfortable little room, and we think it
+scarcely worth while to keep up the parlour-fire just for our two
+selves. However, I will have it replenished immediately. Excuse me for
+one moment." She then left the room, and shortly returning, resumed her
+discourse.</p>
+
+<p>"I determined," said she, "from the hour I first thought of
+housekeeping, that it should be my plan to have none but white servants.
+They are less wasteful than the blacks; less extravagant in their
+cooking; are satisfied to sit by smaller fires; and have fewer visiters.
+The chief difficulty with them is, that there are so many things they
+are unwilling to do. Yesterday my cook left me quite suddenly, and
+to-day a little girl about fourteen, whom I hired last week as a waiter,
+was taken away by her mother; and I have just now been trying to
+persuade Sally, the chambermaid, to bring in the coal-scuttle and make
+up the fire. But she has a great objection to doing anything in presence
+of strangers, and I am rather afraid she will not come. And I do not
+much wonder at it, for Sally is a girl of a very respectable family. She
+has nothing of the servant about her."</p>
+
+<p>"So much the worse," thought Harriet, "if she is obliged to get her
+living in that capacity."</p>
+
+<p>After a long uncomfortable pause, during which there were no signs of
+Sally, Mrs. Accleton involuntarily put her hand to the bell, but
+recollecting herself, withdrew it again without pressing the spring.
+"There would be no use," said she, "in ringing the bell, for Sally never
+takes the least notice of it. She is principled against it, and says she
+will not be rung about the house like a negro. I have to indulge her in
+this laudable feeling of self-respect, for in everything that is
+essential she is a most valuable girl, and irons my dresses beautifully,
+and does up my collars and pelerines to admiration."</p>
+
+<p>So saying, Mrs. Accleton again left the parlour to have another
+expostulation with Sally, who finally vouchsafed to bring in the
+coal-scuttle, and flinging a few fresh coals on the top of the dying
+embers (from which all power of ignition had too visibly fled), put up
+the blower, and hurried out of the room. But the blower awakened no
+flame, and not a sound was heard to issue from behind its blank and
+dreary expanse. "I am afraid the fire is too far gone to be revived
+without a regular clearing out of the grate," said Mrs. Accleton, "and I
+doubt the possibility of prevailing on Sally to go through all that.
+Anthracite has certainly its disadvantages. Perhaps we had better
+adjourn to the dining-room, where there has been a good fire the whole
+day. If I had only known that you intended me the pleasure of this
+visit! However, I have no doubt you will find it very comfortable up
+stairs."</p>
+
+<p>To the dining-room they accordingly went. It was a little narrow
+apartment over the kitchen, with a low ceiling and small windows looking
+out on the dead wall of the next house, and furnished in the plainest
+and most economical manner. There was a little soap-stone grate that
+held about three quarts of coal, which, however, <i>was</i> burning; a small
+round table that answered for every purpose; half a dozen
+wooden-bottomed cane-coloured chairs; and a small settee to match,
+covered with a calico cushion, and calculated to hold but two people.
+"This is just the size for my husband and myself," said Mrs. Accleton,
+as she placed herself on the settee. "We had it made on purpose. Will
+you take a seat on it, Miss Harriet, or would you prefer a chair? I
+expect Mr. Accleton home in a few minutes." Harriet preferred a chair.</p>
+
+<p>The conversation now turned on housekeeping, and the <i>nouvelle mariée</i>
+gave a circumstantial detail of her various plans, and expressed some
+surprise that, notwithstanding the excellence of her system, she found
+so much difficulty in getting servants to fall into it. "I have the most
+trouble with my cooks," pursued Mrs. Accleton. "I have had six
+different women in that capacity, though I have only been married two
+months. And I am sure Mr. Accleton and myself are by no means hard to
+please. We live in the plainest way possible, and a very little is
+sufficient for our table. Our meat is simply boiled or roasted, and
+often we have nothing more than a beefsteak. We never have any sort of
+dessert, considering all such things as extremely unwholesome." "What is
+the reason," thought Harriet, "that so many young ladies, when they are
+first married, discover immediately that desserts are unwholesome;
+particularly if prepared and eaten in their own houses?"</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Accleton made frequent trips back and forward to the kitchen, and
+Harriet understood that tea was in agitation. Finally, Sally, looking
+very much out of humour, came and asked for the keys; and unlocking a
+dwarf side-board that stood in one of the recesses, she got out the
+common tea-equipage and placed it on the table. "You see, Miss Harriet,
+we treat you quite <i>en famille</i>," said Mrs. Accleton. "We make no
+stranger of you. After tea, the parlour will doubtless be warm, and we
+will go down thither." Harriet wondered if the anthracite was expected
+to repent of its obstinacy, and take to burning of its own accord.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Accleton now came home, and his wife, after running to kiss him,
+exclaimed: "Oh! my dear, I am glad you are come! You can now entertain
+Miss Heathcote while I go down and pay some attention to the tea, for
+Sally protests that she was not hired to cook, and, if the truth must be
+told, she is very busy ironing, and does not like to be taken off. This
+is our regular ironing-day, and one of my rules is never, on any
+consideration, to have it put off or passed over. Method is the soul of
+housekeeping."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Accleton was naturally taciturn, but he made a prodigious effort to
+entertain Harriet, and talked to her of the tariff.</p>
+
+<p>It was near eight o'clock before Sally condescended to bring up the tea
+and its accompaniments, which were a plate containing four slices of the
+thinnest possible bread and butter, another with two slices of pale
+toast, and a third with two shapeless whitish cakes, of what composition
+it was difficult to tell, but similar to those that are called
+flap-jacks in Boston, slap-jacks in New York, and buckwheat cakes in
+Philadelphia.<a name="FNanchor_84_84" id="FNanchor_84_84"></a><a href="#Footnote_84_84" class="fnanchor">[84]</a> In the centre was a deep dish with a dozen small
+stewed oysters floating in an ocean of liquor, as tasteless and insipid
+as dish-water. The tea also was tasteless, and for two reasons&mdash;first,
+that the Chinese herb had been apportioned in a very small quantity; and
+secondly, that the kettle had not "come to a boil."</p>
+
+<p>"We give you tea in a very plain style," said Mrs. Accleton to Harriet;
+"you see we make no stranger of you, and that we treat you just as we do
+ourselves. We know that simple food is always the most wholesome, and
+when our friends are so kind as to visit us, we have no desire to make
+them sick by covering our table with dainties. It is one of my rules
+never to have a sweetcake or sweetmeat in the house. They are not only a
+foolish expense, but decidedly prejudicial to health."</p>
+
+<p>The hot cakes being soon despatched, there was considerable waiting for
+another supply. Mr. and Mrs. Accleton were at somewhat of a nonplus as
+to the most feasible means of procuring the attendance of Sally.
+"Perhaps she will come if we knock on the floor," said Mrs. Accleton;
+"she <i>has</i> done so sometimes." Mr. Accleton stamped on the floor, but
+Sally came not. Harriet could not imagine why Sally's pride should be
+less hurt by coming to a knock on the floor than to a ring of the bell;
+but there is no accounting for tastes. Mr. Accleton stamped again, and
+much more loudly than before. "Now you have spoiled all," said his wife,
+fretfully; "Sally will never come now. She will be justly offended at
+your stamping for her in that violent way. I much question if we see her
+face again to-night."</p>
+
+<p>At last, after much canvassing, it was decided that Mr. Accleton should
+go to the head of the stairs and venture to call Sally; his wife
+enjoining him not to call too loudly, and to let his tone and manner be
+as mild as possible. This delicate business was successfully
+accomplished. Sally at last appeared with two more hot cakes, and Mrs.
+Accleton respectfully intimated to her that she wished her to return in
+a few minutes to clear away the table.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Accleton, who was a meek man, being sent down by his wife to
+reconnoitre the parlour fire, came back and reported that it was "dead
+out." "How very unlucky," said Mrs. Accleton, "that Miss Heathcote
+should happen to come just on this evening! Unlucky for herself, I mean,
+for we must always be delighted to see her. However, I am so fond of
+this snug little room, that for my own part I have no desire ever to sit
+in any other. My husband and I have passed so many pleasant hours in
+it."</p>
+
+<p>The ladies now resumed their sewing; Mrs. Accleton talked of her plans,
+and her economy, and Sally; and Mr. Accleton pored over the newspaper as
+if he was learning it all by heart, even to the advertisements; while
+his wife, who had taken occasion to remark that the price of oil had
+risen considerably, managed two or three times to give the screw of the
+astral lamp a twist to the left, which so much diminished the light that
+Harriet could scarcely see to thread her needle.</p>
+
+<p>About an hour after tea, Mrs. Accleton called her husband to the other
+end of the room, and a half-whispered consultation took place between
+them, which ended in the disappearance of the gentleman. In a short time
+he returned, and there was another consultation, in the course of which
+Harriet could not avoid distinguishing the words&mdash;"Sally refuses to quit
+her clear-starching." "Well, dear, cannot I ask you just to do them
+yourself?" "Oh, no! indeed, it is quite out of the question; I would
+willingly oblige you in anything else." "But, dear, only think how often
+you have done this very thing when a boy." "But I am not a boy now."
+"Oh, but dear, you really must. There is no one else to do it. Come now,
+only a few, just a very few." There was a little more persuasion; the
+lady seemed to prevail, and the gentleman quitted the room. A short time
+after, there was heard a sound of cracking nuts, which Mrs. Accleton,
+consciously colouring, endeavoured to drown by talking as fast and as
+loudly as possible.</p>
+
+<p>We have said that Mr. Accleton was a meek man. Having finished his
+business down-stairs, he came back looking red and foolish; and after
+awhile Sally appeared with great displeasure in her countenance, and in
+her hands a waiter containing a plate of shellbarks, a pitcher of water,
+and some glasses. Mr. Accleton belonged to the temperance society, and
+therefore, as his wife said, was principled against having in his house,
+either wine, or any other sort of liquor.</p>
+
+<p>The arrival of Albert Heathcote put an end to this comfortless visit;
+and Mrs. Accleton on taking leave of Harriet, repeated, for the
+twentieth time, her regret at not having had any previous intimation of
+it.</p>
+
+<p>Our heroine could not but wonder why marriage should so soon have have
+made a change for the worse, in the lady with whom she had been passing
+the evening, and whom she had known when Miss Maiden, as a lively,
+pleasant, agreeable girl, not remarkable for much mind, but in every
+other respect the reverse of what she was now. Harriet had yet to learn
+that marriage, particularly when it takes place at a very early age, and
+before the judgment of the lady has had time to ripen by intercourse
+with the world, frequently produces a sad alteration in her habits and
+ideas. As soon as she is emancipated from the control of her parents,
+and when "her market is made," and a partner secured for life, all her
+latent faults and foibles are too prone to show themselves without
+disguise, and she is likewise in much danger of acquiring new ones.
+Presuming upon her importance as a married lady, and also upon the
+indulgence with which husbands generally regard all the sayings and
+doings of their wives in the <i>early</i> days of matrimony, woman, as well
+as man, is indeed too apt to "play fantastic tricks when dressed in a
+little brief authority."</p>
+
+<p>Next day, Harriet was surprised by a morning visit from Mrs. Accleton,
+who came in looking much discomposed, and, after the first salutations,
+said in a tone of some bitterness, "I have met with a great misfortune,
+Miss Heathcote. I have lost that most valuable servant, Sally. The poor
+girl's pride was so deeply wounded at being obliged to bring in the
+waiter before company (and as her family is so respectable, she of
+course has a certain degree of proper pride), that she gave me notice
+this morning of the utter impossibility of her remaining in the house
+another day. I tried in vain to pacify her, and I assured her that your
+coming to tea was entirely accidental, and that such a thing might never
+happen again. All I could urge had no effect on her, and she persisted
+in saying that she never could stay in any place after her feelings had
+been hurt, and that she had concluded to live at home for the future,
+and take in sewing. So she quitted me at once, leaving me without a
+creature in the house, and I have been obliged to borrow mamma's Kitty
+for the present. And I have nearly fatigued myself to death by walking
+almost to Schuylkill to inquire the character of a cook that I heard of
+yesterday. As to a chambermaid, I never expect to find one that will
+replace poor Sally. She was so perfectly clean, and she clear-starched,
+and plaited, and ironed so beautifully; and when I went to a party, she
+could arrange my hair as well as a French barber, which was certainly a
+great saving to me. Undoubtedly, Miss Heathcote, your company is always
+pleasant, and we certainly spent a delightful evening, but if I had had
+the least intimation that you intended me the honour of a visit
+yesterday, I should have taken the liberty of requesting you to defer it
+till I had provided myself with a cook and a waiter. Poor Sally&mdash;and to
+think, too, that she had been ironing all day!"</p>
+
+<p>Harriet was much vexed, and attempted an apology for her ill-timed
+visit. She finally succeeded in somewhat mollifying the lady by
+presenting her with some cake and wine as a refreshment after her
+fatigue, and Mrs. Accleton departed in rather a better humour, but still
+the burthen of her song was, "of course, Miss Heathcote, your visits
+must be always welcome&mdash;but it is certainly a sad thing to lose poor
+Sally."</p>
+
+<p>Our heroine's next attempt at a sociable visit was to her friend Amanda
+Milbourne, the eldest daughter of a large family. As soon as Harriet
+made her entrance, the children, with all of whom she was a great
+favourite, gathered round, and informed her with delighted faces, that
+their father and mother were going to take them to the play. Harriet
+feared that again her visit had been ill-timed, and offered to return
+home. "On the contrary," said Mrs. Milbourne, "nothing can be more
+fortunate, at least for Amanda, who has declined accompanying us to the
+theatre, as her eyes are again out of order, and she is afraid of the
+lights. Therefore she will be extremely happy to have you spend the
+evening with her." "It is asking too much of Harriet's kindness," said
+Amanda, "to expect her to pass a dull evening alone with me; I fear I
+shall not be able to entertain her as I would wish. The place that was
+taken for me at the theatre will be vacant, and I am sure it would give
+you all great pleasure if Harriet would accept of it, and accompany you
+thither." This invitation was eagerly urged by Mr. and Mrs. Milbourne,
+and loudly reiterated by all the children, but Harriet had been at the
+theatre the preceding evening, the performances of to-night were exactly
+the same, and she was one of those that think "nothing so tedious as a
+twice-seen play," that is, if all the parts are filled precisely as
+before.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Milbourne then again felicitated Amanda on being so fortunate as to
+have Miss Heathcote to pass the evening with her. "To say the truth,"
+said the good mother, "I could scarcely reconcile myself to the idea of
+your staying at home, particularly as your eyes will not allow you to
+read or to sew this evening, and you could have no resource but the
+piano." Then turning to Harriet, she continued, "When her eyes are
+well, it may be truly remarked of Amanda, that she is one of those
+fortunate persons 'who are never less alone than when alone;' she often
+says so herself."</p>
+
+<p>Accordingly Harriet was prevailed on to go through with her visit. And
+as soon as tea was over, all the Milbourne family (with the exception of
+Amanda) departed for the theatre.</p>
+
+<p>Harriet produced her bead work, and endeavoured to be as amusing as
+possible, but her friend seemed silent, abstracted, and not in the vein
+for conversation, complaining at times of the pain in her eyes, which,
+however, looked as well as usual. Just after the departure of the
+family, Amanda stole softly to the front-door and put up the dead-latch,
+so that it could be opened from without. After that, she resumed her
+seat in the parlour, and appeared to be anxiously listening for
+something. The sound of footsteps was soon heard at the door, and
+presently a handsome young gentleman walked in without having rung the
+bell, and as he entered the parlour, stopped short, and looked
+disconcerted at finding a stranger there. Amanda blushed deeply, but
+rose and introduced him as Captain Sedbury of the army. Harriet then
+recollected having heard a vague report of an officer being very much in
+love with Miss Milbourne, and that her parents discountenanced his
+addresses, unwilling that the most beautiful and most accomplished of
+their daughters should marry a man who had no fortune but his
+commission.</p>
+
+<p>The fact was, that Captain Sedbury, after an absence of several months
+at his station, had only arrived in town that morning, and finding means
+to notify his mistress of his return, it had been arranged between them
+that he should visit her in the evening, during the absence of the
+family, and for this purpose Amanda had excused herself from going to
+the theatre. He took his seat beside Amanda, who contrived to give him
+her hand behind the backs of their chairs, and attempted some general
+conversation, catching, at times, an opportunity of saying in a low
+voice a few words to the lady of his love, whose inclination was
+evidently to talk to him only.</p>
+
+<p>Harriet Heathcote now found herself in a very awkward situation. On this
+occasion she was palpably what the French call <i>Madame de Trop</i>, a
+character which is irksome beyond all endurance to the lady herself, if
+she is a person of proper consideration for the convenience of others.
+Though conscious that they were wishing her at least in Alabama, she
+felt much sympathy for the lovers, as she had a favoured inamorato of
+her own, who was now on his return from Canton. She talked, and their
+replies were tardy and <i>distrait</i>; she looked at them, and they were
+gazing at each other, and several times she found them earnestly engaged
+in a whisper. She felt as if on thorns, and became so nervous that she
+actually got the headache. The dullness of Mrs. Drakelow, the sick baby
+of Mrs. Rushbrook, the feuds of the Miss Brandons, the failure of Mr.
+Celbridge, the music-practising of the Urlingfords, the maid Sally of
+the Accletons, had none of them at the time caused our heroine so much
+annoyance as she felt on this evening, from the idea that she was so
+inconveniently interrupting the stolen interview of two affianced
+lovers. At last she became too nervous to endure it any longer, and
+putting away her bead work, she expressed a desire to go home, pleading
+her headache as an excuse. Captain Sedbury started up with alacrity, and
+offered immediately to attend her. But Amanda, whose eyes had at first
+sparkled with delight, suddenly changed countenance, and begged Harriet
+to stay, saying, "You expect your brother, do you not?"</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly," replied Harriet, "but as the distance is short, I hope it
+will be no great encroachment on Captain Sedbury's time. And then," she
+added with a smile, "he will of course return hither and finish his
+visit, after he has deposited me at my own door."</p>
+
+<p>Amanda still hesitated. She recollected an instance of a friend of hers
+having lost her lover in consequence of his escorting home a pretty girl
+that made a "deadset" at him. And she was afraid to trust Captain
+Sedbury with so handsome a young lady as Miss Heathcote. Fortunately,
+however, Harriet removed this perplexity as soon as she guessed the
+cause. "Suppose," said she to Amanda, "that you were to accompany us
+yourself. It is a fine moonlight night, and I have no doubt the walk
+will do you good, as you say you have not been out for several days."</p>
+
+<p>To this proposal Amanda joyfully assented, and in a moment her face was
+radiant with smiles. She ran up stairs for her walking equipments, and
+was down so quickly that Harriet had not much chance of throwing out any
+allurements in her absence, even if she had been so disposed. The
+captain gave an arm to each of the ladies, and in a short time the
+lovers bade Miss Heathcote good night at the door of her father's
+mansion.</p>
+
+<p>Harriet now comprehended why her friend Amanda "was never less alone
+than when alone."</p>
+
+<p>Three weeks afterwards, when Miss Milbourne and Captain Sedbury had
+effected a runaway marriage, and the parents had forgiven them according
+to custom, Amanda and her husband made themselves and Harriet very merry
+by good-humouredly telling her how much her accidental visit had
+incommoded them, and how glad they were to get rid of her.</p>
+
+<p>We have only to relate one more instance of Harriet Heathcote's sociable
+visits. This was to her friends the Tanfields, a very charming family,
+consisting of a widow and her two daughters, whom she was certain of
+finding at home, because they were in deep mourning, and did not go out
+of an evening.</p>
+
+<p>Harriet had been detained by a visiter, and it was nearly dark when she
+reached Mrs. Tanfield's door, and was told by the coloured man who
+opened it, that all his ladies had set out that morning for New York,
+having heard that young Mr. Tanfield (who lived in that city) was
+dangerously ill. Harriet was sorry that her friends should have received
+such painful intelligence, and for a few moments could think of nothing
+else, for she knew young Tanfield to be one of the best of sons and
+brothers. Her next consideration was how to get home, as there was no
+possibility of staying at Mrs. Tanfield's. Her residence was at a
+considerable distance, and "the gloomy night was gathering fast." She
+thought for a moment of asking Peters, the black man, to accompany her;
+but from the loud chattering and giggling that came up from the kitchen,
+(which seemed to be lighted with unusual brightness), and from having
+noticed, as she approached the house, that innumerable coloured people
+were trooping down the area-steps, she rightly concluded that Mrs.
+Tanfield's servants had taken advantage of her absence to give a party,
+and that "high life below stairs" was at that moment performing.</p>
+
+<p>Fearing that if she requested Peters to escort her, he would comply very
+ungraciously, or perhaps excuse himself, rather than be taken away from
+his company, Miss Heathcote concluded on essaying to walk home by
+herself, for the first time in her life, after lamplight. As she turned
+from the door, (which Peters immediately closed) she lingered awhile on
+the step, looking out upon the increasing gloom, and afraid to venture
+into it. However, as there seemed no alternative, she summoned all her
+courage, and set off at a brisk pace. Her intention was to walk quietly
+along without showing the slightest apprehension, but she involuntarily
+shrunk aside whenever she met any of the other sex. On suddenly
+encountering a row of young men, arm in arm, with each a segar in his
+mouth, she came to a full stop, and actually shook with terror. They all
+looked at her a moment, and then made way for her to pass, and she felt
+as if she could have plunged into the wall to avoid touching them.</p>
+
+<p>Presently our heroine met three sailors reeling along, evidently
+intoxicated, and singing loudly. She kept as close as possible to the
+curbstone, expecting nothing else than to be rudely accosted by them,
+but they were too intent upon their song to notice her; though one of
+them staggered against her, and pushed her off the pavement, so as
+almost to throw her into the street.</p>
+
+<p>Her way home lay directly in front of the Walnut Street Theatre, which
+she felt it impossible to pass, as the people were just crowding in. And
+she now blessed the plan of the city which enabled her to avoid this
+inconvenience by "going round a square." The change of route took her
+into a street comparatively silent and retired, and now her greatest
+fear was of being seized and robbed. She would have given the world to
+have met any gentleman of her acquaintance, determining, if she did so,
+to request his protection home. At last she perceived one approaching,
+whose appearance she thought was familiar to her, and as they came
+within the light of a lamp, she found it to be Mr. Morland, an intimate
+friend of her brother's. He looked at her with a scrutinizing glance, as
+if he half-recognised her features under the shade of her hood. Poor
+Harriet now felt ashamed and mortified that Mr. Morland should see her
+alone and unprotected, walking in the street after dark. She had not
+courage to utter a word, but, drawing her hood more closely over her
+face, she glided hastily past him, and walked rapidly on. She had no
+sooner turned the corner of the street, than she regretted having obeyed
+the impulse of the moment, lamenting her want of presence of mind, and
+reflecting how much better it would have been for her to have stopped
+Mr. Morland, and candidly explained to him her embarrassing situation.
+But it was now too late.</p>
+
+<p>Presently there was a cry of fire, and the State House bell tolled out
+north-east, which was exactly the contrary direction from Mr.
+Heathcote's residence. Immediately an engine came thundering along the
+street, accompanied by a hose, and followed by several others, and
+Harriet found herself in the midst of the crowd and uproar, while the
+light of the torches carried by the firemen glared full upon her. But
+what had at first struck her with terror, she now perceived to be rather
+an advantage than otherwise, for no one noticed her in the general
+confusion, and it set every one to running the same way. She found, as
+she approached her father's dwelling, that there was no longer any
+danger of her being molested by man or boy, all being gone to the fire,
+and the streets nearly deserted. Anxious to get home at all hazards, she
+commenced running as fast as she could, and never stopped till she found
+herself at her own door.</p>
+
+<p>The family were amazed and alarmed when they saw Harriet run into the
+parlour, pale, trembling, and almost breathless, and looking half dead
+as she threw herself on the sofa, unable to speak; and she did not
+recover from her agitation, till she had relieved the hurry of her
+spirits by a flood of tears.</p>
+
+<p>It was some minutes before Harriet was sufficiently composed to begin an
+explanation of the events of the evening.</p>
+
+<p>"It is true," said she, "that I have not been actually molested or
+insulted, and I believe, after all, that in our orderly city there is
+little real danger to be apprehended by females of respectable
+appearance, when reduced to the sad necessity of walking alone in the
+evening. But still the mere supposition, the bare possibility of being
+thus exposed to the rudeness of the vulgar and unfeeling, will for ever
+prevent me from again subjecting myself to so intolerable a situation. I
+know not what could induce me again to go through all I have suffered
+since I left Mrs. Tanfield's door.&mdash;And this will be my last attempt at
+sociable visiting."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>We submit it to the opinion of our fair readers, whether, in nine cases
+out of ten, the visits of ladies do not "go off the better," if
+anticipated by some previous intimation. We believe that our position
+will be borne out by the experience both of the visiters and the
+visited. Our heroine, as we have seen, did not only, on most of these
+occasions, subject herself to much disappointment and annoyance, but she
+was likewise the cause of considerable inconvenience to her
+entertainers; and we can say with truth, that the little incidents we
+have selected "to point our moral and adorn our tale," are all sketched
+from life and reality.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="COUNTRY_LODGINGS" id="COUNTRY_LODGINGS"></a>COUNTRY LODGINGS.</h2>
+
+<blockquote><p>"Chacun a son gout."&mdash;<i>French Proverb.</i></p></blockquote>
+
+
+<p>It has often been a subject of surprise to me, that so many even of
+those highly-gifted people who are fortunate enough to possess both
+sorts of sense (common and uncommon), show, nevertheless, on some
+occasions, a strange disinclination to be guided by the self-evident
+truth, that in all cases where the evil preponderates over the good, it
+is better to reject the whole than to endure a large portion of certain
+evil for the sake of a little sprinkling of probable good. I can think
+of nothing, just now, that will more aptly illustrate my position, than
+the practice so prevalent in the summer-months of quitting a commodious
+and comfortable home, in this most beautiful and convenient of cities,
+for the purpose of what is called boarding out of town; and wilfully
+encountering an assemblage of almost all "the ills that flesh is heir
+to," in the vain hope of finding superior coolness in those
+establishments that go under the denomination of country lodgings, and
+are sometimes to be met with in insulated locations, but generally in
+the unpaved and dusty streets of the villages and hamlets that are
+scattered about the vicinity of Philadelphia.</p>
+
+<p>These places are adopted as substitutes for the springs or the
+sea-shore; and it is also not unusual for persons who have already
+accomplished the fashionable tour, to think it expedient to board out of
+town for the remainder of the summer, or till they are frightened home
+by the autumnal epidemics.</p>
+
+<p>I have more than once been prevailed on to try this experiment, in the
+universal search after coolness which occupies so much of the attention
+of my fellow-citizens from June to September, and the result has been
+uniformly the same: a conviction that a mere residence beyond the
+limits of the city is not an infallible remedy for all the <i>désagrémens</i>
+of summer; that (to say nothing of other discomforts) it is possible to
+feel the heat more in a small house out of the town than in a large one
+in it.</p>
+
+<p>The last time I was induced to make a trial of the delights of country
+lodgings, I had been told of a very genteel lady (the widow of an
+Englishman, said to have been highly connected in his own country), who
+had taken a charming house at a short distance from the city, with the
+intention of accommodating boarders for the summer; and I finally
+allowed myself to be prevailed on to become an inmate of her
+establishment, as I had just returned from the north, and found the
+weather still very warm.</p>
+
+<p>Two of my friends, a lady and gentleman, accompanied me when I went to
+engage my apartment. The ride was a very short one, and we soon arrived
+at a white frame house with green window-shutters, and also a green gate
+which opened into a little front garden with one gravel walk, two grass
+plats, and four Lombardy poplar trees, which, though excluded in the
+city, still keep their ground in out-of-town places.</p>
+
+<p>There was no knocker, but, after hammering and shaking the door for near
+five minutes, it was at last opened by a barefooted bound-girl, who hid
+herself behind it as if ashamed to be seen. She wore a ragged light
+calico frock, through the slits of which appeared at intervals a black
+stuff petticoat: the body was only kept together with pins, and partly
+concealed by a dirty cape of coarse white muslin; one lock of her long
+yellow hair was stuck up by the wreck of a horn comb, and the remaining
+tresses hung about her shoulders. When we inquired if Mrs. Netherby was
+at home, the girl scratched her head, and stared as if stupified by the
+question, and on its being repeated, she replied that "she would go and
+look," and then left us standing at the door. A coloured servant would
+have opened the parlour, ushered us in, and with smiles and curtsies
+requested us to be seated. However, we took the liberty of entering
+without invitation: and the room being perfectly dark, we also used the
+freedom of opening the shutters.</p>
+
+<p>The floor was covered with a mat which fitted nowhere, and showed
+evidence of long service. Whatever air might have been introduced
+through the fire-place, was effectually excluded by a thick
+chimney-board, covered with a square of wall-paper representing King
+George IV. visiting his cameleopard. I afterwards found that Mrs.
+Netherby was very proud of her husband's English origin. The
+mantel-piece was higher than our heads, and therefore the mirror that
+adorned it was too elevated to be of any use. This lofty shelf was also
+decorated with two pasteboard baskets, edged with gilt paper, and
+painted with bunches of calico-looking flowers, two fire-screens ditto,
+and two card-racks in the shape of harps with loose and crooked strings
+of gold thread. In the centre of the room stood an old-fashioned round
+tea-table, the feet black with age, and the top covered with one of
+those coarse unbleached cloths of figured linen that always look like
+dirty white. The curiosities of the centre-table consisted of a tumbler
+of marigolds: a dead souvenir which had been a living one in 1826: a
+scrap work-box stuck all over with figures of men, women, and children,
+which had been most wickedly cut out of engravings and deprived of their
+backgrounds for this purpose: an album with wishy-washy drawings and
+sickening verses: a china writing-apparatus, destitute alike of ink,
+sand, and wafers: and a card of the British consul, which, I afterwards
+learnt, had once been left by him for Mr. Netherby.</p>
+
+<p>The walls were ornamented with enormous heads drawn in black crayon, and
+hung up in narrow gilt frames with bows of faded gauze riband. One head
+was inscribed Innocence, and had a crooked mouth; a second was
+Beneficence, with a crooked nose; and a third was Contemplation, with a
+prodigious swelling on one of her cheeks; and the fourth was Veneration,
+turning up two eyes of unequal size. The flesh of one of these heads
+looked like china, and another like satin; the third had the effect of
+velvet, and the fourth resembled plush.</p>
+
+<p>All these things savoured of much unfounded pretension; but we did not
+then know that they were chiefly the work of Mrs. Netherby herself, who,
+as we learned in the sequel, had been blest with a boarding-school
+education, and was, according to her own opinion, a person of great
+taste and high polish.</p>
+
+<p>It was a long time before the lady made her appearance, as we had
+arrived in the midst of the siesta in which it was the custom of every
+member of the establishment (servants included) to indulge themselves
+during the greatest part of the afternoon, with the exception of the
+bound-girl, who was left up to "mind the house." Mrs. Netherby was a
+tall, thin, sharp-faced woman, with an immense cap, that stood out all
+round, and encircled her head like a halo, and was embellished with an
+enormous quantity of yellowish gauze riband that seemed to incorporate
+with her huge yellow curls: fair hair being much affected by ladies who
+have survived all other fairness. She received us with abundance of
+smiles, and a profusion of flat compliments, uttered in a voice of
+affected softness; and on making known my business, I was conducted
+up-stairs to see a room which she said would suit me exactly. Mrs.
+Netherby was what is called "a sweet woman."</p>
+
+<p>The room was small, but looked tolerably well, and though I was not much
+prepossessed in favour of either the house or the lady, I was unwilling
+that my friends should think me too fastidious, and it was soon arranged
+that I should take possession the following day.</p>
+
+<p>Next afternoon I arrived at my new quarters; and tea being ready soon
+after, I was introduced to the other boarders, as they came down from
+their respective apartments. The table was set in a place dignified with
+the title of "the dining-room," but which was in reality a sort of
+anti-kitchen, and located between the acknowledged kitchen and the
+parlour. It still retained vestiges of a dresser, part of which was
+entire, in the shape of the broad lower-shelf and the under-closets.
+This was painted red, and Mrs. Netherby called it the side-board. The
+room was narrow, the ceiling was low, the sunbeams had shone full upon
+the windows the whole afternoon, and the heat was extreme. A mulatto man
+waited on the tea-table, with his coat out at elbows, and a marvellous
+dirty apron, not thinking it worth his while to wear good clothes in the
+country. And while he was tolerably attentive to every one else, he made
+a point of disregarding or disobeying every order given to him by Mrs.
+Netherby: knowing that for so trifling a cause as disrespect to herself,
+she would not dare to dismiss him at the risk of getting no one in his
+place; it being always understood that servants confer a great favour on
+their employers when they condescend to go with them into the country.
+Behind Mrs. Netherby's chair stood the long-haired bound girl (called
+Anna by her mistress, and Nance by Bingham the waiter), waving a green
+poplar branch by way of fly-brush, and awkwardly flirting it in every
+one's face.</p>
+
+<p>The aspect of the tea-table was not inviting. Everything was in the
+smallest possible quantity that decency would allow. There was a plate
+of rye-bread, and a plate of wheat, and a basket of crackers: another
+plate with half a dozen paltry cakes that looked as if they had been
+bought under the old Court House: some morsels of dried beef on two
+little tea-cup plates, and a small glass dish of that preparation of
+curds, which in vulgar language is called smearcase, but whose <i>nom de
+guerre</i> is cottage-cheese, at least that was the appellation given it by
+our hostess. The tea was so weak that it was difficult to discover
+whether it was black or green; but, finding it undrinkable, I requested
+a glass of milk: and when Bingham brought me one, Mrs. Netherby said
+with a smile, "See what it is to live in the country!" Though, after
+all, we were not out of sight of Christ Church steeple.</p>
+
+<p>The company consisted of a lady with three very bad children; another
+with a very insipid daughter, about eighteen or twenty, who, like her
+mother, seemed utterly incapable of conversation; and a fat Mrs.
+Pownsey, who talked an infinite deal of nothing, and soon took occasion
+to let me know that she had a very handsome house in the city. The
+gentlemen belonging to these ladies never came out till after tea, and
+returned to town early in the morning.</p>
+
+<p>Towards sunset, I proposed taking a walk with the young lady, but she
+declined on account of the dew, and we returned to the parlour, where
+there was no light during the whole evening, as Mrs. Netherby declared
+that she thought nothing was more pleasant than to sit in a dark room in
+the summer. And when we caught a momentary glimpse from the candles that
+were carried past the door as the people went up and down stairs, we had
+the pleasure of finding that innumerable cockroaches were running over
+the floor and probably over our feet; these detestable insects having
+also a fancy for darkness.</p>
+
+<p>The youngest of the mothers went up stairs to assist her maid in the
+arduous task of putting the children to bed, a business that occupied
+the whole evening; though the eldest boy stoutly refused to go at all,
+and stretching himself on the settee, he slept there till ten o'clock,
+when his father carried him off kicking and screaming.</p>
+
+<p>The gentlemen talked altogether of trade and bank business. Some
+neighbours came in, and nearly fell over us in the dark. Finding the
+parlour (which had but one door) most insupportably warm, I took my seat
+in the entry, a narrow passage which Mrs. Netherby called the hall.
+Thither I was followed by Mrs. Pownsey, a lady of the Malaprop school,
+who had been talking to me all the evening of her daughters, Mary
+Margaret and Sarah Susan, they being now on a visit to an aunt in
+Connecticut. These young ladies had been educated, as their mother
+informed me, entirely by herself, on a plan of her own: and, as she
+assured me, with complete success; for Sarah Susan, the youngest, though
+only ten years old, was already regarded as quite a phinnominy
+(phenomenon), and as to Mary Margaret, she was an absolute prodigal.</p>
+
+<p>"I teach them everything myself," said she, "except their French, and
+music, and drawing, in all which they take lessons from the first
+masters. And Mr. Bullhead, an English gentleman, comes twice a week to
+attend to their reading and writing and arithmetic, and the grammar of
+geography. They never have a moment to themselves, but are kept busy
+from morning till night. You know that idleness is the root of all
+evil."</p>
+
+<p>"It is certainly the root of <i>much</i> evil," I replied; "but you know the
+old adage, which will apply equally to both sexes&mdash;'All work and no play
+makes Jack a dull boy.'"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! they often play," resumed Mrs. Pownsey. "In the evening, after they
+have learned their lessons, they have games of history, and botany, and
+mathematics, and all such instructive diversions. I allow them no other
+plays. Their minds certainly are well stored with all the arts and
+science. At the same time, as I wish them to acquire a sufficient idea
+of what is going on in the world, I permit them every day to read over
+the Marianne List in our New York paper, the Chimerical Advertiser, that
+they may have a proper knowledge of ships: and also Mr. Walsh's Experts
+in his Gazette; though I believe he does not write these little moral
+things himself, but hires Mr. Addison, and Mr. Bacon, and Mr. Locke, and
+other such gentlemen for the purpose. The Daily Chronicle I never allow
+them to touch, for there is almost always a story in every paper, and
+none of these stories are warranted to be true, and reading falsehoods
+will learn them to tell fibs."</p>
+
+<p>I was much amused with this process of reasoning, though I had more than
+once heard such logic on the subject of fictitious narratives.</p>
+
+<p>"But, surely, Mrs. Pownsey," said I, "you do not interdict all works of
+imagination? Do you never permit your daughters to read for amusement?"</p>
+
+<p>"Never," replied this wisest of mothers; "amusement is the high-road to
+vice. Indeed, with all their numerous studies, they have little or no
+time for reading anything. And when they have, I watch well that they
+shall read only books of instruction, such as Mr. Bullhead chooses for
+them. They are now at Rowland's Ancient History (I am told he is not the
+same Rowland that makes the Maccassar oil), and they have already got
+through seven volumes. Their Aunt Watson (who, between ourselves, is
+rather a weak-minded woman) is shocked at the children reading that
+book, and says it is filled with crimes and horrors. But so is all the
+Ancient History that ever I heard of, and of course it is proper that
+little girls should know these things. They will get a great deal more
+benefit from Rowland than from reading Miss Edgeworth's story-books,
+that sister Watson is always recommending."</p>
+
+<p>"Have they ever read the history of their own country?" said I.</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose you mean the History of America," replied Mrs. Pownsey. "Oh!
+that is of no consequence at all, and Mr. Bullhead says it is never read
+in England. After they have got through Rowland, they are going to begin
+Sully's Memoirs. I know Mr. Sully very well; and when they have read it,
+I will make the girls tell me his whole history; he painted my portrait,
+and a most delightful man he is, only rather obstinate; for with all I
+could say, I could not prevail on him to rub out the white spots that he
+foolishly put in the black part of my eyes. And he also persisted in
+making one side of my nose darker than the other. It is strange that in
+these things painters will always take their own course in spite of us,
+as if we that pay for the pictures have not a right to direct them as we
+please. But the artist people are all alike. My friend, Mrs. Oakface,
+tells me she had just the same trouble with Mr. Neagle; in that respect
+he's quite as bad as Mr. Sully."</p>
+
+<p>She paused a moment to take breath, and then proceeded in continuation
+of the subject. "Now we talk of pictures, you have no idea what
+beautiful things my daughters can paint. The very first quarter they
+each produced two pieces to frame. And Mary Margaret is such a capital
+judge of these things, that whenever she is looking at a new souvenir,
+her first thought is to see who did the pictures, that she may know
+which to praise and which not. There are a great many artists now, but I
+remember the time when almost all the pictures were done by Mr. Sculp
+and Mr. Pinx. And then as to music! I wish you could hear my daughters.
+Their execution is wonderful. They can play crotchets quite as well as
+quivers; and they sing sollos, and dooets, and tryos, and quartetties
+equal to the Musical Fund. I long for the time when they are old enough
+to come out. I will go with them everywhere myself; I am determined to
+be their perpetual shabberoon."</p>
+
+<p>So much for the lady that educated her daughters herself.</p>
+
+<p>And still, when the mother is capable and judicious, I know no system of
+education that is likely to be attended with more complete success than
+that which keeps the child under the immediate superintendence of those
+who are naturally the most interested in her improvement and welfare;
+and which removes her from the contagion of bad example, and the danger
+of forming improper or unprofitable acquaintances. Some of the finest
+female minds I have ever known received all their cultivation at home.
+But much, indeed, are those children to be commiserated, whose education
+has been undertaken by a vain and ignorant parent.</p>
+
+<p>About nine o'clock, Mrs. Netherby had begun to talk of the lateness of
+the hour, giving hints that it was time to think of retiring for the
+night, and calling Bingham to shut up the house: which order he did not
+see proper to obey till half-past ten. I then (after much delay and
+difficulty in obtaining a bed-candle) adjourned to my own apartment, the
+evening having appeared to me of almost interminable length, as is
+generally the case with evenings that are passed without light.</p>
+
+<p>The night was warm, and after removing the chimney-board, I left the
+sash of my window open: though I had been cautioned not to do so, and
+told that in the country the night air was always unwholesome. But I
+remembered Dr. Franklin's essay on the art of sleeping well. It was long
+before I closed my eyes, as the heat was intense, and my bed very
+uncomfortable. The bolster and pillow were nearly flat for want of
+sufficient feathers, and the sheets of thick muslin were neither long
+enough nor wide enough. At "the witching time of night," I was suddenly
+awakened by a most terrible shrieking and bouncing in my room, and
+evidently close upon me. I started up in a fright, and soon ascertained
+the presence of two huge cats, who, having commenced a duel on the
+trellis of an old blighted grape-vine that unfortunately ran under the
+back windows, had sprung in at the open sash, and were finishing the
+fight on my bed, biting and scratching each other in a style that an old
+backwoodsman would have recognised as the true rough and tumble.</p>
+
+<p>With great difficulty I succeeded in expelling my fiendish visiters,
+and to prevent their return, there was nothing to be done but to close
+the sash. There were no shutters, and the only screen was a scanty
+muslin curtain, divided down the middle with so wide a gap that it was
+impossible to close it effectually. The air being now excluded, the heat
+was so intolerable as to prevent me from sleeping, and the cats remained
+on the trellis, looking in at the window with their glaring eyes,
+yelling and scratching at the glass, and trying to get in after some
+mice that were beginning to course about the floor.</p>
+
+<p>The heat, the cats and the mice, kept me awake till near morning; and I
+fell asleep about daylight, when I dreamed that a large cat stood at my
+bed-side, and slowly and gradually swelling to the size of a tiger,
+darted its long claws into my throat. Of course, I again woke in a
+fright, and regretted my own large room in the city, where there was no
+trellis under my windows, and where the sashes were made to slide down
+at the top.</p>
+
+<p>I rose early with the intention of taking a walk, as was my custom when
+in town, but the grass was covered with dew, and the road was ankle-deep
+in dust. So I contented myself with making a few circuits round the
+garden, where I saw four altheas, one rose-tree, and two currant-bushes,
+with a few common flowers on each side of a grass-grown gravel walk;
+neither the landlord nor the tenant being willing to incur any further
+expense by improving the domain. The grape-vine and trellis had been
+erected by a former occupant, a Frenchman, who had golden visions of
+wine-making.</p>
+
+<p>At breakfast, we were regaled with muddy water, miscalled coffee; a
+small dish of doubtful eggs; and another of sliced cucumbers, very
+yellow and swimming in sweetish vinegar; also two plates containing
+round white lumps of heavy half-baked dough, dignified by the title of
+Maryland biscuit; and one of dry toast, the crumb left nearly white, and
+the crust burnt to a coal.</p>
+
+<p>After breakfast, there came walking into the room a tame white pigeon,
+which Mrs. Netherby told us was a turtle-dove. "Dear sweet Phebe," she
+exclaimed, taking up the bird and fondling it, "has it come for its
+breakfast; well, then, kiss its own mistress, and it shall have some
+nice soft bread."</p>
+
+<p>The pigeon was then handed round to be admired (it was really a pretty
+one), and Mrs. Netherby told us a long story of its coming to the house
+in the early part of the summer with its mate, who was soon after
+killed by lightning in consequence of sitting on the roof close by the
+conductor during a thunderstorm, and she was very eloquent and
+sentimental in describing the manner in which Phebe had mourned for her
+deceased companion, declaring that the widowed <i>dove</i> often reminded her
+of herself after she had lost poor dear Mr. Netherby.</p>
+
+<p>Our hostess then crumbled some bread on the floor, and placed near it a
+saucer of water, and she rose greatly in my estimation when I observed
+the fixed look of delight with which she gazed on the pet-bird, and her
+evident fondness as she caressed it, and carried it out of the room,
+after it had finished its repast. "Notwithstanding her parsimony and her
+pretension," thought I, "Mrs. Netherby has certainly a good heart."</p>
+
+<p>I went to my own room, and could easily have beguiled the morning with
+my usual occupations, but that I was much incommoded by the intense heat
+of my little apartment, whose thin walls were completely penetrated by
+the sun. Also, I was greatly annoyed by the noise of the children in the
+next room and on the staircase. It was not the joyous exhilaration of
+play, or the shouts and laughter of good-humoured romping (all that I
+could easily have borne); but I heard only an incessant quarrelling,
+fighting, and screaming, which was generally made worse by the
+interference of the mother whenever she attempted to silence it.</p>
+
+<p>Shortly before dinner, the bound-girl came up and went the rounds of all
+the chambers to collect the tumblers from the washing-stands, which
+tumblers were made to perform double duty by figuring also on the
+dining-table. This would have been no great inconvenience, only that no
+one remembered to bring them back again, and the glasses were not
+restored to our rooms till after repeated applications.</p>
+
+<p>The dinner consisted of very salt fried ham; and a pair of skeleton
+chickens, with a small black-looking leg of mutton; and a few
+half-drained vegetables, set about on little plates with a puddle of
+greasy water in the bottom of each. However, as we were in the country,
+there was a pitcher of milk for those that chose to drink milk at
+dinner. For the dessert we had half a dozen tasteless custards, the tops
+burnt, and the cups half-full of whey, a plate of hard green pears,
+another of hard green apples, and a small whitish watermelon.</p>
+
+<p>"What a fine thing it is to be in the country," said Mrs. Netherby,
+"and have such abundance of delicious fruit! I can purchase every
+variety from my next neighbour."</p>
+
+<p>The truth is, that even where there is really an inclination to furnish
+a good table, there is generally much difficulty and inconvenience in
+procuring the requisite articles at any country place that is not
+absolutely a farm, and where the arrangements are not on an extensive
+scale. Mrs. Netherby, however, made no apology for any deficiency, but
+always went on with smiling composure, praising everything on the table,
+and wondering how people could think of remaining in the city when they
+might pass the summer in the country. As the gentlemen ate their meals
+in town (a proof of their wisdom), ours were very irregular as to time;
+Mrs. Netherby supposing that it could make no difference to ladies, or
+to any persons who had not business that required punctual attention.</p>
+
+<p>Two days after my arrival, the dust having been laid by a shower, Mrs.
+Pownsey and myself set out to walk on the road, in the latter part of
+the afternoon. When we came home, I found that the washing-stand had
+been removed from my room, and the basin and pitcher placed in the
+corner on a little triangular shelf that had formerly held a flower-pot.
+The mirror was also gone, and I found as a substitute a little
+half-dollar Dutch glass in a narrow red frame. The two best chairs were
+also missing, one chair only being left, and that a broken one; and a
+heavy patch-work quilt had taken the place of the white dimity
+bed-cover. I learnt that these articles had been abstracted to furnish a
+chamber that was as yet disengaged, and which they were to decorate by
+way of enticing a new-comer. Next morning, after my room had been put in
+order, I perceived that the mattrass had been exchanged for a
+feather-bed, and on inquiring the reason of Mrs. Netherby she told me,
+with much sweetness, that it had been taken for two southern ladies that
+were expected in the afternoon, and who, being southern, could not
+possibly sleep on anything but a mattrass, and that she was sorry to
+cause me any inconvenience, but it would be a great disadvantage to
+<i>her</i> if they declined coming.</p>
+
+<p>In short, almost every day something disappeared from my room to assist
+in fitting up apartments for strangers; the same articles being
+afterwards transferred to others that were still unoccupied. But what
+else was to be done, when Mrs. Netherby mildly represented the
+impossibility of getting things at a short notice from town?</p>
+
+<p>My time passed very monotonously. The stock of books I had brought with
+me was too soon exhausted, and I had no sewing of sufficient importance
+to interest my attention. The nonsense of Mrs. Pownsey became very
+tiresome, and the other ladies were mere automatons. The children were
+taken sick (as children generally are at country lodgings), and fretted
+and cried all the time. I longed for the society of my friends in the
+city, and for the unceremonious visits that are so pleasant in summer
+evenings.</p>
+
+<p>After a trial of two weeks, during which I vainly hoped that custom
+would reconcile me to much that had annoyed me at first, I determined to
+return to Philadelphia; in the full persuasion that this would be my
+last essay at boarding out of town.</p>
+
+<p>On the day before my departure, we were all attracted to the
+front-garden, to see a company of city volunteers, who were marching to
+a certain field where they were to practise shooting at a target. While
+we were lingering to catch the last glimpse of them as long as they
+remained in sight, the cook came to Mrs. Netherby (who was affectedly
+smelling the leaves of a dusty geranium), and informed her that though
+she had collected all the cold meat in the house, there was still not
+enough to fill the pie that was to be a part of the dinner.<a name="FNanchor_85_85" id="FNanchor_85_85"></a><a href="#Footnote_85_85" class="fnanchor">[85]</a> "Oh!
+then," replied Mrs. Netherby, with perfect sang-froid, and in her usual
+soft voice, "put Phebe on the top of it&mdash;put Phebe on the top." "Do you
+mean," said the cook, "that I am to kill the pigeon to help out with?"
+"Certainly," rejoined Mrs. Netherby, "put Phebe in the pie."</p>
+
+<p>There was a general exclamation from all present, except from the
+automaton young lady and her mamma; and the children who were looking
+out of the front windows were loud in lamentations for the poor pigeon,
+who, in truth, had constituted their only innocent amusement. For my
+part, I could not forbear openly expressing my surprise that Mrs.
+Netherby should think for a moment of devoting her pet pigeon to such a
+purpose, and I earnestly deprecated its impending fate.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Netherby reddened, and forgetting her usual mildness, her eyes
+assumed a very cat-like expression as she replied to me in a loud sharp
+voice. "Upon my word, miss, this is very strange. Really, you astonish
+me. This is something quite new. I am not at all accustomed to having
+the ladies of my family to meddle in my private affairs. Really, miss,
+it is excessively odd that you should presume to dictate to me about
+the disposal of my own property. I have some exquisite veal-cutlets and
+some delicious calves-feet, but the pie is wanted for a centre dish. I
+am always, as you know, particular in giving my table a handsome
+set-out."</p>
+
+<p>In vain we protested our willingness to dine without the centre dish,
+rather than the pigeon, whom we regarded in the light of an intimate
+acquaintance, should be killed to furnish it, all declaring that nothing
+could induce us to taste a mouthful of poor Phebe. Mrs. Netherby,
+obstinately bent on carrying her point (as is generally the case with
+women who profess an extra portion of sweetness), heard us unmoved, only
+replying, "Certainly, miss, you cannot deny that the bird is mine, and
+that I have a right to do as I please with my own property. Phillis, put
+Phebe in the pie!"</p>
+
+<p>The cook grinned, and stood irresolute; when suddenly Bingham the waiter
+stepped up with Phebe in his hands, and calling to a black boy of his
+acquaintance, who lived in the neighbourhood, and was passing at the
+moment: "Here, Harrison," said he, "are you going to town?" "Yes,"
+replied the boy, "I am going there of an errand." "Then take this here
+pigeon with you," said Bingham, "and give it as a gift from me to your
+sister Louisa. You need not tell her to take good care of it. I know
+she'll affection it for my sake. There, take it, and run." So saying, he
+handed the pigeon over the fence to the boy, who ran off with it
+immediately, and Bingham coolly returned to the kitchen, whistling as he
+went.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, if I ever saw the like!" exclaimed Mrs. Netherby. "But Bingham
+will always have his way; he's really a strange fellow." Then, looking
+foolish and subdued, she walked into the house. I could not help
+laughing, and was glad that the life of the poor pigeon had been saved
+on any terms, though sorry to find that Mrs. Netherby, after all, had
+not the redeeming quality I ascribed to her.</p>
+
+<p>To conclude,&mdash;I have no doubt that summer establishments may be found
+which are in many respects more agreeable than the one I have attempted
+to describe. But it has not been my good fortune, or that of my friends
+who have adopted this plan of getting through the warm weather, to meet
+with any country lodgings (of course, I have no reference to decided
+farm-houses), in which the comparison was not decidedly in favour of the
+superior advantages of remaining in a commodious mansion in the city,
+surrounded with the comforts of home, and "with all the appliances, and
+means to boot," which only a large town can furnish.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CONSTANCE_ALLERTON" id="CONSTANCE_ALLERTON"></a>CONSTANCE ALLERTON;</h2>
+
+<h3>OR,</h3>
+
+<h2>THE MOURNING SUITS.</h2>
+
+<blockquote>
+<p>"But I have that within which passeth show."&mdash;<span class="smcap">Shakspeare.</span></p>
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>Mr. Allerton, a merchant of Philadelphia, had for some years been doing
+business to considerable advantage, when a sudden check was put to his
+prosperity by the unexpected failure of a house for which he had
+endorsed to a very large amount. There was no alternative but to
+surrender everything to his creditors; and this he did literally and
+conscientiously. He brought down his mind to his circumstances; and as,
+at that juncture, the precarious state of the times did not authorize
+any hope of success if he recommenced business (as he might have done)
+upon borrowed capital, he gladly availed himself of a vacant clerkship
+in one of the principal banks of the city.</p>
+
+<p>His salary, however, would have been scarcely adequate to the support of
+his family, had he not added something to his little stipend by
+employing his leisure hours in keeping the books of a merchant. He
+removed with his wife and children to a small house in a remote part of
+the city; and they would, with all his exertions, have been obliged to
+live in the constant exercise of the most painful economy, had it not
+been for the aid they derived from his sister Constance Allerton. Since
+the death of her parents, this young lady had resided at New Bedford
+with her maternal aunt, Mrs. Ilford, a quakeress, who left her a legacy
+of ten thousand dollars.</p>
+
+<p>After the demise of her aunt, Miss Allerton took lodgings at a private
+house in New Bedford; but on hearing of her brother's misfortunes, she
+wrote to know if it would be agreeable to him and to his family for her
+to remove to Philadelphia, and to live with them&mdash;supposing that the sum
+she would pay for her accommodation might, in their present
+difficulties, prove a welcome addition to their income. This proposal
+was joyfully acceded to, as Constance was much beloved by every member
+of her brother's family, and had kept up a continual intercourse with
+them by frequent letters, and by an annual visit of a few weeks to
+Philadelphia.</p>
+
+<p>At this period, Constance Allerton had just completed her twenty-third
+year. She had a beautiful face, a fine graceful figure, and a highly
+cultivated mind. With warm feelings and deep sensibility, she possessed
+much energy of character&mdash;a qualification which, when called forth by
+circumstances, is often found to be as useful in a woman as in a man.
+Affectionate, generous, and totally devoid of all selfish
+considerations, Constance had nothing so much at heart as the comfort
+and happiness of her brother's family; and to become an inmate of their
+house was as gratifying to her as it was to them. She furnished her own
+apartment, and shared it with little Louisa, the youngest of her three
+nieces, a lovely child about ten years old. She insisted on paying the
+quarter bills of her nephew Frederic Allerton, and volunteered to
+complete the education of his sisters, who were delighted to receive
+their daily lessons from an instructress so kind, so sensible, and so
+competent. Exclusive of these arrangements, she bestowed on them many
+little presents, which were always well-timed and judiciously selected;
+though, to enable her to purchase these gifts, she was obliged, with her
+limited income of six hundred dollars, to deny herself many
+gratifications, and, indeed, conveniences, to which she had hitherto
+been accustomed, and the want of which she now passed over with a
+cheerfulness and delicacy which was duly appreciated by the objects of
+her kindness.</p>
+
+<p>In this manner the family had been living about a twelvemonth, when Mr.
+Allerton was suddenly attacked by a violent and dangerous illness, which
+was soon accompanied by delirium; and in a few days it brought him to
+the brink of the grave.</p>
+
+<p>His disease baffled the skill of an excellent physician; and the
+unremitting cares of his wife and sister could only effect a slight
+alleviation of his sufferings. He expired on the fifth day, without
+recovering his senses, and totally unconscious of the presence of the
+heart-struck mourners that were weeping round his bed.</p>
+
+<p>When Mr. Allerton's last breath had departed, his wife was conveyed from
+the room in a fainting-fit. Constance endeavoured to repress her own
+feelings, till she had rendered the necessary assistance to Mrs.
+Allerton, and till she had somewhat calmed the agony of the children.
+She then retired to her own apartment, and gave vent to a burst of
+grief, such as can only be felt by those in whose minds and hearts there
+is a union of sense and sensibility. With the weak and frivolous, sorrow
+is rarely either acute or lasting.</p>
+
+<p>The immortal soul of Mr. Allerton had departed from its earthly
+tenement, and it was now necessary to think of the painful details that
+belonged to the disposal of his inanimate corpse. As soon as Constance
+could command sufficient courage to allow her mind to dwell on this
+subject, she went down to send a servant for Mr. Denman (an old friend
+of the family), whom she knew Mrs. Allerton would wish to take charge of
+the funeral. At the foot of the stairs, she met the physician, who, by
+her pale cheeks, and by the tears that streamed from her eyes at sight
+of him, saw that all was over. He pressed her hand in sympathy; and,
+perceiving that she was unable to answer his questions, he bowed and
+left the house.</p>
+
+<p>In a short time, Mr. Denman arrived; and Mrs. Allerton declaring herself
+incompetent to the task, Constance saw the gentleman, and requested him
+to make every necessary arrangement for a plain but respectable funeral.</p>
+
+<p>At such times, how every little circumstance seems to add a new pang to
+the agonized feelings of the bereaved family! The closing of the
+window-shutters, the arrival of the woman whose gloomy business it is to
+prepare the corpse for interment, the undertaker coming to take measure
+for the coffin, the removal of the bedding on which the deceased has
+expired, the gliding step, the half-whispered directions&mdash;all these sad
+indications that death is in the house, fail not, however quietly and
+carefully managed, to reach the ears and hearts of the afflicted
+relatives, assisted by the intuitive knowledge of what is so well
+understood to be passing at these melancholy moments.</p>
+
+<p>In the evening, after Louisa had cried herself to sleep, Constance
+repaired to the apartment of her sister-in-law, whom, about an hour
+before, she had left exhausted and passive. Mrs. Allerton was extended
+on the bed, pale and silent; her daughters, Isabella and Helen, were in
+tears beside her; and Frederick had retired to his room.</p>
+
+<p>In the fauteuil, near the head of the bed, sat Mrs. Bladen, who, in the
+days of their prosperity, had been the next door neighbour of the
+Allerton family, and who still continued to favour them with frequent
+visits. She was one of those busy people who seem almost to verify the
+justly-censured maxim of Rochefoucault, that "in the misfortunes of our
+best friends, there is always something which is pleasing to us."</p>
+
+<p>True it was that Mrs. Bladen, being a woman of great leisure, and of a
+disposition extremely officious, devoted most of her time and attention
+to the concerns of others; and any circumstances that prevented her
+associates from acting immediately for themselves, of course threw open
+a wider field for her interference.</p>
+
+<p>"And now, my dear friends," said Mrs. Bladen, squeezing Mrs. Allerton's
+hand, and looking at Constance, who seated herself in an opposite chair,
+"as the funeral is to take place on Thursday, you know there is no time
+to be lost. What have you fixed on respecting your mourning? I will
+cheerfully attend to it for you, and bespeak everything necessary."</p>
+
+<p>At the words "funeral" and "mourning," tears gushed again from the eyes
+of the distressed family; and neither Mrs. Allerton nor Constance could
+command themselves sufficiently to reply.</p>
+
+<p>"Come, my dear creatures," continued Mrs. Bladen, "you must really make
+an effort to compose yourselves. Just try to be calm for a few minutes,
+till we have settled this business. Tell me what I shall order for you.
+However, there is but one rule on these occasions&mdash;crape and bombazine,
+and everything of the best. Nothing, you know, is more disreputable than
+mean mourning."</p>
+
+<p>"I fear, then," replied Mrs. Allerton, "that our mourning attire must be
+mean enough. The situation in which we are left will not allow us to go
+to any unnecessary expense in that, or in anything else. We had but
+little to live upon&mdash;we could lay by nothing. We have nothing
+beforehand: we did not&mdash;we could not apprehend that this dreadful event
+was so near. And you know that his salary&mdash;that Mr. Allerton's
+salary&mdash;of course, expires with him."</p>
+
+<p>"So I suppose, my dear friend," answered Mrs. Bladen; "but you know you
+<i>must</i> have mourning; and as the funeral takes place so soon, there will
+be little enough time to order it and have it made."</p>
+
+<p>"We will borrow dresses to wear at the&mdash;to wear on Thursday," said Mrs.
+Allerton.</p>
+
+<p>"And of whom will you borrow?"</p>
+
+<p>"I do not know. I have not yet thought."</p>
+
+<p>"The Liscom family are in black," observed Isabella; "no doubt they
+would lend us dresses."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! none of their things will fit you at all," exclaimed Mrs. Bladen.
+"None of the Liscoms have the least resemblance to any of you, either in
+height or figure. You would look perfectly ridiculous in <i>their</i>
+things."</p>
+
+<p>"Then there are Mrs. Patterson and her daughters," said Helen.</p>
+
+<p>"The Pattersons," replied Mrs. Bladen, "are just going to leave off
+black; and nothing that <i>they</i> have looks either new or fresh. You know
+how soon black becomes rusty. You certainly would feel very much
+mortified if you had to make a shabby appearance at Mr. Allerton's
+funeral. Besides, nobody now wears borrowed mourning&mdash;it can always be
+detected in a moment. No&mdash;with a little exertion&mdash;and I repeat that I am
+willing to do all in my power&mdash;there is time enough to provide the whole
+family with genteel and proper mourning suits. And as you <i>must</i> get
+them at last, it is certainly much better to have them at first, so as
+to appear handsomely at the funeral."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh!" exclaimed Mrs. Allerton, sighing, "at such a time, what
+consequence can we possibly attach to our external appearance? How can
+we for a moment think of it?"</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure, my dear friend," said Mrs. Bladen, kissing her, "you have
+had a very severe loss&mdash;very severe, indeed. It is really quite
+irreparable; and I can sincerely sympathize in your feelings. Certainly
+everybody ought to feel on these occasions; but you know it is
+impossible to devote every moment between this and the funeral to tears
+and sobs. One cannot be crying all the time&mdash;nobody ever does. And, as
+to the mourning, that is of course indispensable, and a thing that
+<i>must</i> be."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Allerton wept bitterly. "Indeed, indeed!" said she, "I cannot
+discuss it now."</p>
+
+<p>"And if it is not settled to-night," resumed Mrs. Bladen, "there will
+be hardly time to-morrow to talk it over, and get the things, and send
+to the mantua-maker's and milliner's. You had better get it off your
+mind at once. Suppose you leave it entirely to me. I attended to all the
+mourning for the Liscoms, and the Weldons, and the Nortons. It is a
+business I am quite used to. I pique myself on being rather clever at
+it."</p>
+
+<p>"I will, then, trust to your judgment," replied Mrs. Allerton, anxious
+to get rid of the subject, and of the light frivolous prattle of her
+<i>soi-disant</i> dear friend. "Be kind enough to undertake it, and procure
+for us whatever you think suitable&mdash;only let it not be too expensive."</p>
+
+<p>"As to that," answered Mrs. Bladen, "crape is crape, and bombazine is
+bombazine; and as everybody likes to have these articles of good
+quality, nothing otherwise is now imported for mourning. With regard to
+Frederick's black suit, Mr. Watson will send to take his measure, and
+there will be no further difficulty about it. Let me see&mdash;there must be
+bombazine for five dresses: that is, for yourself, three daughters, and
+Miss Allerton."</p>
+
+<p>"Not for me," said Constance, taking her handkerchief from her eyes. "I
+shall not get a bombazine."</p>
+
+<p>"My dear creature!" cried Mrs. Bladen; "not get a bombazine! You
+astonish me! What else can you possibly have? Black gingham or black
+chintz is only fit for wrappers; and black silk is no mourning at all."</p>
+
+<p>"I shall wear no mourning," replied Constance, with a deep sigh.</p>
+
+<p>"Not wear mourning!" ejaculated Mrs. Bladen. "What, no mourning at all!
+Not wear mourning for your own brother! Now you do indeed surprise me."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Allerton and her daughters were also surprised; and they withdrew
+their handkerchiefs from their eyes, and gazed on Constance, as if
+scarcely believing that they had understood her rightly.</p>
+
+<p>"I have considered it well," resumed Miss Allerton; "and I have come to
+a conclusion to make no change in my dress. In short, to wear no
+mourning, even for my brother&mdash;well as I have loved him, and deeply as I
+feel his loss."</p>
+
+<p>"This is very strange," said Mrs. Allerton.</p>
+
+<p>"Excuse me, Miss Constance," said Mrs. Bladen, "but have you no respect
+for his memory? He was certainly an excellent man."</p>
+
+<p>"Respect for his memory!" exclaimed Constance, bursting into tears.
+"Yes! I indeed respect his memory! And were he still living, there is
+nothing on earth I would not cheerfully do for him, if I thought it
+would contribute to his happiness or comfort. But he is now in a land
+where all the forms and ceremonies of this world are of no avail; and
+where everything that speaks to the senses only, must appear like the
+mimic trappings of a theatre. With him, all is now awful reality. To the
+decaying inhabitant of the narrow and gloomy grave, or to the
+disembodied spirit that has ascended to its Father in heaven, of what
+consequence is the colour that distinguishes the dress of those whose
+mourning is deep in the heart? What to him is the livery that fashion
+has assigned to grief, when he knows how intense is the feeling itself,
+in the sorrowing bosoms of the family that loved him so well?"</p>
+
+<p>"All this is very true," remarked Mrs. Bladen; "but still, custom is
+everything, or fashion, as you are pleased to call it. You know you are
+not a Quaker; and therefore I do not see how you can possibly venture to
+go without mourning on such an occasion as this. Surely, you would not
+set the usages of the world at defiance?"</p>
+
+<p>"I would not," replied Constance, "in things of minor importance; but on
+this subject I believe I can be firm."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course," said Mrs. Bladen, "you will not go to the funeral without
+mourning."</p>
+
+<p>"I cannot go to the funeral at all," answered Constance.</p>
+
+<p>"Not go to the funeral!" exclaimed Mrs. Allerton. "Dear Constance, you
+amaze me!"</p>
+
+<p>"I hope," observed Mrs. Bladen, looking very serious, "there can be no
+reason to doubt Miss Allerton's affection for her brother?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! no! no! no!" cried the two girls indignantly. "If you had only
+seen," said Isabella, "how she nursed my dear father in his illness&mdash;how
+she was with him day and night."</p>
+
+<p>"And how much she always loved him," said Helen.</p>
+
+<p>"My dear kind sister," said Mrs. Allerton, taking the hand of Constance,
+"I hope I shall never again see you distressed by such an intimation."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Bladen reddened, looked down, and attentively examined the
+embroidered corners of her pocket handkerchief. There was a silence of a
+few moments, till Constance, making an effort to speak with composure,
+proceeded to explain herself.</p>
+
+<p>"My brother," said she, "has finished his mortal existence. No human
+power, no human love, can aid him or soothe him now; and we will
+endeavour to submit with resignation to the will of Omnipotence. I
+hope&mdash;I trust we shall be able to do so; but the shock is yet too
+recent, and we cannot at once subdue the feelings of nature. It is
+dreadful to see the lifeless remains of one we have long and dearly
+loved, removed from our sight for ever, and consigned to the darkness
+and loneliness of the grave. For my part, on this sad occasion I feel an
+utter repugnance to the idea of becoming an object of curiosity to the
+spectators that gaze from the windows, and to the vulgar and noisy crowd
+that assembles about a burying-ground when an interment is to take
+place. I cannot expose my tears, my deep affliction, to the comments of
+the multitude; and I cannot have my feelings outraged by perhaps
+overhearing their coarse remarks. I may be too fastidious&mdash;I may be
+wrong; but to be present at the funeral of my brother is an effort I
+cannot resolve to make. And, moreover&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Here her voice for a few moments became inarticulate, and her sister and
+nieces sobbed audibly.</p>
+
+<p>"And then," she continued, "I cannot stand beside that open grave&mdash;I
+cannot see the coffin let down into it, and the earth thrown upon the
+lid till it is covered up for ever. I cannot&mdash;indeed I cannot. In the
+seclusion of my own apartment I shall, of course, know that all this is
+going on, and I shall suffer most acutely; but there will be no
+strangers to witness my sufferings. It is a dreadful custom, that of
+females attending the funerals of their nearest relatives. I wish it
+were abolished throughout our country, as it is in many parts of
+Europe."</p>
+
+<p>"But you know," said Mrs. Bladen, "that it is almost universal in
+Philadelphia; and, 'when we are in Rome we must do as Rome does.'
+Besides which, it is certainly our duty always to see our friends and
+relatives laid in the grave."</p>
+
+<p>"Not when we are assured," replied Constance, "that the melancholy
+office can be properly performed without our presence or assistance.
+Duty requires of us no sacrifice by which neither the living nor the
+dead can be benefited. But I have said enough; and I cannot be present
+at my brother's funeral."</p>
+
+<p>She then rose and left the room, unable any longer to sustain a
+conversation so painful to her.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, I am really astonished!" exclaimed Mrs. Bladen. "Not wear
+mourning for her brother! Not go to his funeral! However, I suppose she
+thinks she has a right to do as she pleases. But, she may depend on it,
+people will talk."</p>
+
+<p>Just then a servant came to inform Mrs. Bladen that her husband was
+waiting for her in the parlour.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, my dear Mrs. Allerton," said she, as she rose to depart, "we have
+not yet settled about the mourning. Of course, you are not going to
+adopt Miss Constance's strange whim of wearing none at all."</p>
+
+<p>"What she has said on the subject appears to me very just," replied Mrs.
+Allerton.</p>
+
+<p>"Aunt Constance is always right," remarked one of the girls.</p>
+
+<p>"As to Miss Allerton," resumed Mrs. Bladen, "she is well known to be
+independent in every sense of the word; and therefore she may do as she
+pleases&mdash;though she may rest assured that people will talk."</p>
+
+<p>"What people?" asked Mrs. Allerton.</p>
+
+<p>"Everybody&mdash;all the world."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Allerton thought how very circumscribed was the world in which she
+and her family had lived since the date of their fallen fortunes.</p>
+
+<p>"It is well known," pursued Mrs. Bladen, "that Miss Constance is able to
+wear mourning if she chooses it. But you may rely on it, Mrs. Allerton,
+that if you and your children do not appear in black, people will be
+ill-natured enough to say that it is because you cannot afford it.
+Excuse my plainness."</p>
+
+<p>"They will say rightly, then," replied Mrs. Allerton, with a sigh. "We
+certainly cannot afford it."</p>
+
+<p>"How you talk!" said Mrs. Bladen. "Afford it or not, everybody has to
+wear mourning, and everybody does, from the highest down to the lowest.
+Even my washerwoman put all her family (that is herself and her six
+children) into black when her husband died; notwithstanding that he was
+no great loss&mdash;for he was an idle, drunken Irishman, and beat them all
+round every day of his life. And my cook, a coloured woman, whose
+grandfather died in the almshouse a few weeks ago, has as handsome a
+suit of mourning as any lady need desire to wear."</p>
+
+<p>"May I request," said Mrs. Allerton, "that you will spare me on this
+subject to-night? Indeed I can neither think nor talk about it."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, then," replied Mrs. Bladen, kissing her, "I will hope to find you
+better in the morning. I shall be with you immediately after breakfast."</p>
+
+<p>She then took her leave; and Constance, who had been weeping over the
+corpse of Mr. Allerton, now returned to the apartment of her
+sister-in-law.</p>
+
+<p>Released from the importunities of Mrs. Bladen, our heroine now mildly
+and sensibly reasoned with the family on the great inconvenience, and,
+as she believed, the unnecessary expense of furnishing themselves with
+suits of mourning in their present circumstances. The season was late in
+the autumn, and they had recently supplied themselves with their winter
+outfit, all of which would now be rendered useless if black must be
+substituted. Her arguments had so much effect that Mrs. Allerton, with
+the concurrence of her daughters, very nearly promised to give up all
+intention of making a general change in their dress. But they found it
+harder than they had supposed, to free themselves from the trammels of
+custom.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Allerton and Constance passed a sleepless night, and the children
+"awoke to weep" at an early hour in the morning. They all met in tears
+at the breakfast table. Little was eaten, and the table was scarcely
+cleared, when Mrs. Bladen came in, followed by two shop boys, one
+carrying two rolls of bombazine, and the other two boxes of Italian
+crape. Constance had just left the room.</p>
+
+<p>After the first salutations were over, Mrs. Bladen informed Mrs.
+Allerton that she had breakfasted an hour earlier than usual, that she
+might allow herself more time to go out, and transact the business of
+the morning.</p>
+
+<p>"My dear friend," said she, "Mrs. Doubleprice has sent you, at my
+request, two pieces of bombazine, that you may choose for yourself.&mdash;One
+is more of a jet black than the other&mdash;but I think the blue black rather
+the finest. However, they are both of superb quality, and this season
+jet black is rather the most fashionable. I have been to Miss Facings,
+the mantua-maker, who is famous for mourning. Bombazines, when made up
+by her, have an air and a style about them, such as you will never see
+if done by any one else. There is nothing more difficult than to make up
+mourning as it ought to be.&mdash;I have appointed Miss Facings to meet me
+here&mdash;I wonder she has not arrived&mdash;she can tell you how much is
+necessary for the four dresses. If Miss Allerton finally concludes to be
+like other people and put on black, I suppose she will attend to it
+herself. These very sensible young ladies are beyond my comprehension."</p>
+
+<p>"I am sure," said Helen, "no one is more easy to understand, than my
+dear Aunt Constance."</p>
+
+<p>"And here," continued Mrs. Bladen, "is the double-width crape for the
+veils. As it is of very superior quality, you had best have it to trim
+the dresses, and for the neck handkerchiefs, and to border the black
+cloth shawls that you will have to get."</p>
+
+<p>We must remark to our readers, that at the period of our story, it was
+customary to trim mourning dresses with a very broad fold of crape,
+reaching nearly from the feet to the knees.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Allerton on hearing the prices of the crape and bombazine, declared
+them too expensive.</p>
+
+<p>"But only look at the quality," persisted Mrs. Bladen, "and you know the
+best things are always the cheapest in the end&mdash;and, as I told you,
+nobody now wears economical mourning."</p>
+
+<p>"We had best wear none of any description," said Mrs. Allerton.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" cried Mrs. Bladen, "I see that Miss Constance has been trying
+again to make a convert of you. Yet, as you are not Quakers, I know not
+how you will be able to show your faces in the world, if you do not put
+on black. Excuse me, but innovations on established customs ought only
+to be attempted by people of note&mdash;by persons so far up in society that
+they may feel at liberty to do any out-of-the-way thing with impunity."</p>
+
+<p>"I wish, indeed," said Mrs. Allerton, "that some of those influential
+persons would be so public-spirited as to set the example of dispensing
+with all customs that bear hard on people in narrow circumstances."</p>
+
+<p>The mantua-maker now made her appearance, and Mrs. Bladen exclaimed,
+"Oh! Miss Facings, we have been waiting for you to tell us exactly how
+much of everything we are to get."</p>
+
+<p>A long and earnest discussion now took place between Mrs. Bladen and the
+dressmaker, respecting the quality and quantity of the bombazine and
+crape.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Facings having calculated the number of yards, Mrs. Bladen inquired
+if there was no yard-measure in the house. One was produced, and the
+measuring commenced forthwith; Mrs. Allerton having no longer energy to
+offer any further opposition. She sat with her handkerchief to her face,
+and her daughters wept also. Sirs. Bladen stepped up to her, and
+whispered, "You are aware that it will not be necessary to pay the bills
+immediately."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" returned Mrs. Allerton, "I know not when they can be paid. But we
+will strain every nerve to do it as soon as possible. I cannot bear the
+idea of remaining in debt for this mourning."</p>
+
+<p>Their business being accomplished, the shop-boys departed, and Miss
+Facings made her preparations for cutting out the dresses, taking an
+opportunity of assuring the weeping girls that nothing was more becoming
+to the figure than black bombazine, and that everybody looked their best
+in a new suit of mourning.</p>
+
+<p>At this juncture, Constance returned to the room, and was extremely
+sorry to find that the fear of singularity, and the officious
+perseverance of Mrs. Bladen, had superseded the better sense of her
+sister-in-law. But as the evil was now past remedy, our heroine,
+according to her usual practice, refrained from any further
+animadversions on the subject.</p>
+
+<p>Little Louisa was now brought in to be fitted: and when her frock was
+cut out, Constance offered to make it herself, on hearing Miss Facings
+declare that she would be obliged to keep her girls up all night to
+complete the dresses by the appointed time, as they had already more
+work in the house than they could possibly accomplish.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Allerton expressed great unwillingness to allowing her
+sister-in-law to take the trouble of making Louisa's dress. But
+Constance whispered to her that she had always found occupation to be
+one of the best medicines for an afflicted mind, and that it would in
+some degree prevent her thoughts from dwelling incessantly on the same
+melancholy subject. Taking Louisa with her, she retired to her own
+apartment, and the frock was completed by next day: though the
+overflowing eyes of poor Constance frequently obliged her to lay down
+her sewing. In reality, her chief motive in proposing to make the dress,
+was to save the expense of having it done by the mantua-maker.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Facings took Mrs. Allerton's gown home with her, saying she would
+send one of her girls for the two others; and Mrs. Bladen then began to
+plan the bonnets and shawls. She went off to a fashionable milliner, and
+engaged a mourning bonnet and four mourning caps for Mrs. Allerton, and
+a bonnet for each of her daughters. And she was going back and forwards
+nearly all day with specimens of black cloth for the shawls, black
+stockings, black gloves, &amp;c.</p>
+
+<p>The girls, at their aunt's suggestion, hemmed the crape veils, and on
+the following morning, she assisted them in making and trimming the
+shawls. Still, Constance was well convinced that the expense of the
+mourning (including the suit bespoken for Frederick) would be greater
+than they could possibly afford. The cost of the funeral she intended to
+defray from her own funds, and she took occasion to request Mr. Denman
+to have nothing about it that should be unnecessarily expensive.</p>
+
+<p>The hour arrived when the sorrowing family of Mr. Allerton were to be
+parted for ever from all that remained of the husband, the father, and
+the brother. They had taken the last look of his fixed and lifeless
+features, they had imprinted the last kiss on his cold and pallid lips;
+and from the chamber of death, they had to adjourn to the incongruous
+task of attiring themselves in their mourning habits to appear at his
+funeral. How bitterly they wept as their friends assisted them in
+putting on their new dresses; and when they tied on their bonnets and
+their long veils, to follow to his grave the object of their fondest
+affection!</p>
+
+<p>Constance, with an almost breaking heart, sat in her chamber, and little
+Louisa hung crying on her shoulder, declaring that she could not see her
+dear father buried. But Mrs. Bladen came in, protesting that all the
+children <i>must</i> be present, and that people would <i>talk</i> if even the
+youngest child was to stay away. Mrs. Bladen then put on Louisa's
+mourning dress almost by force. When this was done, the little girl
+threw her arms round the neck of her aunt and kissed her, saying with a
+burst of tears, "When I see you again, my dear dear father will be
+covered up in his grave." Mrs. Bladen then led, or rather dragged the
+child to the room in which the family were assembled.</p>
+
+<p>Constance threw herself on her bed in a paroxysm of grief. She heard the
+slow tread of the company as they came in, and she fancied that she
+could distinguish the sound of the lid as it was laid on the coffin, and
+the fastening of the screws that closed it for ever. She knew when it
+was carried down stairs, and she listened in sympathetic agony to the
+sobs of the family as they descended after it. She heard the shutting of
+the hearse-door, and the gloomy vehicle slowly rolling off to give
+place to the carriages of the mourners. She started up, and casting her
+eyes towards an opening in the window-curtain, she saw Mr. Denman
+supporting to the first coach the tottering steps of her half-fainting
+sister-in-law. She looked no longer, but sunk back on the bed and hid
+her face on the pillow. By all that she suffered when indulging her
+grief alone and in the retirement of her chamber, she felt how dreadful
+it would have been to her, had she accompanied the corpse of her brother
+to its final resting-place.</p>
+
+<p>In about an hour the family returned, pale, exhausted, and worn out with
+the intensity of their feelings at the grave. And they could well have
+dispensed with the company of Mrs. Bladen, who came home and passed the
+evening with them; as she foolishly said that people in affliction ought
+not to be left to themselves.</p>
+
+<p>After some days the violence of their grief settled into melancholy
+sadness: they ceased to speak of him whom they had loved and lost, and
+they felt as if they could never talk of him again.</p>
+
+<p>The unfortunate family of Mr. Allerton now began to consider what they
+should do for their support. Constance was willing to share with them
+her little income even to the last farthing, but it was too small to
+enable them all to live on it with comfort. Great indeed are the
+sufferings, the unacknowledged and unimagined sufferings of that class
+who "cannot dig, and to beg are ashamed"&mdash;whose children have been
+nursed in the lap of affluence, and who "every night have slept with
+soft content about their heads"&mdash;who still retain a vivid recollection
+of happier times, and who still feel that they themselves are the same,
+though all is changed around them.</p>
+
+<p>Such was the condition of the Allerton family. "The world was all before
+them where to choose," and so low were now their finances, that it was
+necessary they should think and act promptly, and decide at once upon
+some plan for their subsistence. Constance proposed a school, but the
+house they now occupied was in too remote a place to expect any success.
+A lady had already attempted establishing a seminary in the immediate
+neighbourhood, but it had proved an entire failure. Mrs. Allerton
+thought that in a better part of the town, and in a larger house, they
+might have a fair chance of encouragement. But they were now destitute
+of the means of defraying the expense of a removal, and of purchasing
+such articles of furniture as would be indispensably necessary in a more
+commodious dwelling; particularly if fitted up as a school.</p>
+
+<p>Frederick Allerton, who was twelve years old, had just completed his
+last quarter at the excellent academy in which he had been a pupil from
+early childhood, and it was now found necessary, after paying the bill,
+to take him away; as the present situation of the family did not seem to
+warrant them in continuing him there any longer. He was, however, very
+forward in all his acquirements, having an excellent capacity, and being
+extremely diligent. Still it was hard that so promising a boy should be
+obliged to stop short, when in a fair way of becoming an extraordinary
+proficient in the principal branches appertaining to what is considered
+an excellent education. Fortunately, however, a place was obtained for
+him in a highly respectable book-store.</p>
+
+<p>There was now a general retrenchment in the expenditures of the Allerton
+family. One of their servants was discharged, as they could no longer
+afford to keep two&mdash;and they were obliged to endure many privations
+which were but ill compensated by the idea that they were wearing very
+genteel mourning. Again, as they had begun with black, it was necessary
+to go through with it. They could not wear their bombazines continually,
+and as black ginghams and chintzes are always spoiled by washing, it was
+thought better that their common dresses should be of Canton crape, an
+article that, though very durable, is at first of no trifling cost.</p>
+
+<p>In the mean time, their only resource seemed to be that of literally
+supporting themselves by the work of their hands. Constance undertook
+the painful task of going round among their acquaintances, and
+announcing their readiness to undertake any sort of needle-work that was
+offered to them. Nobody had any work to put out just then. Some promised
+not to forget them when they had. Others said they were already suited
+with seamstresses. At this time the Ladies' Depository was not in
+existence; that excellent establishment, where the feelings of the
+industrious indigent who have seen better days are so delicately spared
+by the secrecy with which its operations are conducted.</p>
+
+<p>At length a piece of linen was sent to the Allerton family for the
+purpose of being made up by them into shirts. And so great was their joy
+at the prospect of getting a little money, that it almost absorbed the
+painful feelings with which for the first time they employed their
+needles in really working for their living.</p>
+
+<p>They all sewed assiduously, little Louisa doing the easiest parts. The
+linen was soon made up, and they then obtained another piece, and
+afterwards some muslin work. Constance, who was one of the most
+indefatigable of women, found time occasionally to copy music, and
+correct proof-sheets, and to do many other things by which she was able
+to add a little more to the general fund. For a short time, her not
+appearing in black excited much conversation among the acquaintances of
+the family: but these discussions soon subsided, and after a while
+nothing more was said or thought on the subject.</p>
+
+<p>But to pay for the mourning of Mrs. Allerton and her children was a
+necessity that pressed heavily on them all, and they dreaded the sound
+of the door-bell, lest it should be followed by the presentation of the
+bills. The bills came, and were found to be considerably larger than was
+anticipated. Yet they were paid in the course of the winter, though with
+much difficulty, and at the expense of much comfort. The unfortunate
+Allertons rose early and sat up late, kept scanty fires and a very
+humble table, and rarely went out of the house, except to church, or to
+take a little air and exercise at the close of the afternoon.</p>
+
+<p>Most of their friends dropped off, and the few that seemed disposed to
+continue their acquaintance with people whose extreme indigence was no
+secret, were so thoughtless as to make their visits in the morning, a
+time which is never convenient to families that cannot afford to be
+idle. Mrs. Bladen, who, though frivolous and inconsiderate, was really a
+good-natured woman, came frequently to see them; and another of their
+visiters was Mrs. Craycroft, whose chief incentive was curiosity to see
+how the Allertons were going on, and a love of dictation which induced
+her frequently to favour them with what she considered salutary counsel.
+Mrs. Craycroft was a hard, cold, heartless woman, who by dint of the
+closest economy had helped her husband to amass a large fortune, and
+they now had every sort of luxury at their command. The Craycrofts as
+well as the Bladens had formerly been neighbours of Mr. and Mrs.
+Allerton.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Bladen and Mrs. Craycroft happened to meet one morning in Mrs.
+Allerton's little sitting-room. Mrs. Craycroft came in last, and Mrs.
+Bladen, after stopping for a few minutes, pursued her discourse with her
+usual volubility. It was on the subject of Mrs. Allerton and her
+daughter getting new pelisses, or coats as they are more commonly called
+in Philadelphia.</p>
+
+<p>"I can assure you," said she, "now that the weather has become so cold,
+people talk about your going to church in those three-cornered
+cloth-shawls, which you know are only single, and were merely intended
+for autumn and spring. They did very well when you first got them (for
+the weather was then mild), but the season is now too far advanced to
+wear shawls of any sort. You know everybody gets their new coats by
+Christmas, and it is now after New-Year's."</p>
+
+<p>"We would be very glad to have coats," replied Mrs. Allerton, "but they
+are too expensive."</p>
+
+<p>"Not so very," answered Mrs. Bladen. "To be sure, fine black cloth or
+cassimere is the most fashionable for mourning coats. But many very
+genteel people wear black levantine or black mode trimmed with crape.
+Handsome silk coats would scarcely cost above twenty or twenty-five
+dollars apiece."</p>
+
+<p>"We cannot afford them," said Mrs. Allerton. "We must only refrain from
+going out when the weather is very cold. I acknowledge that our shawls
+are not sufficiently warm."</p>
+
+<p>"Did you not all get new olive-coloured silk coats, just before Mr.
+Allerton died?" inquired Mrs. Craycroft.</p>
+
+<p>The abrupt mention of a name which they had long since found it almost
+impossible to utter, brought tears into the eyes of the whole family.
+There was a general silence, and Mrs. Bladen rose to depart, saying, "I
+would recommend to you to get the coats as soon as possible, or the
+winter will be over without them. And I can assure you as a friend, that
+people do make their remarks. I am going into Second street; shall I
+look among the best stores for some black levantine? or would you rather
+have mode? But I had best bring you patterns of both: and shall I call
+on Miss Facings and bespeak her to make the coats for you?"</p>
+
+<p>"We thank you much," replied Mrs. Allerton, "but we will not give you
+the trouble either to look for the silk, or to engage the mantua-maker.
+We must for this winter dispense with new coats."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Bladen then took her leave, saying, "Well, do as you please, but
+people think it very strange that you should be still wearing your
+shawls, now that the cold weather has set in."</p>
+
+<p>Constance was glad that Mrs. Bladen had not in this instance carried
+her point. But she grieved to think that her sister and nieces could not
+have the comfort of wearing their coats because the olive-colour did not
+comport with their mourning bonnets. For herself, having made no attempt
+at mourning, Constance had no scruple as to appearing in hers.</p>
+
+<p>When Mrs. Bladen was gone, Mrs. Craycroft spoke again, and said, "I
+wonder how people can be so inconsiderate! But Mrs. Bladen never could
+see things in their proper light. She ought to be ashamed of giving you
+such advice. Now, I would recommend to you to have your olive silk coats
+ripped apart, and dyed black, and then you can make them up again
+yourselves. You know that if you were not in mourning, you might wear
+them as they are; but as you have begun with black, I suppose it would
+never do to be seen in coloured things also."</p>
+
+<p>"I believe," replied Mrs. Allerton, "there is generally much trouble in
+getting articles dyed&mdash;at least in this city, and that they are
+frequently spoiled in the process."</p>
+
+<p>"Your informants," said Mrs. Craycroft, "must have been peculiarly
+unlucky in their dyers. I can recommend you to Mr. Copperas, who does
+things beautifully, so that they look quite as good as new. He dyes for
+Mrs. Narrowskirt and for Mrs. Dingy. I advise you by all means to send
+your coats to him. And no doubt you have many other things, now lying by
+as useless, that would be serviceable if dyed black."</p>
+
+<p>"I believe I will take your advice," answered Mrs. Allerton.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Craycroft then proceeded: "Situated as you are, Mrs. Allerton, I
+need not say how much it behooves you to economize in everything you
+possibly can; now for instance, I would suggest to you all to drink rye
+coffee. And then as to tea, if you <i>must</i> have tea of an evening, I know
+a place where you can get it as low as half a dollar a pound&mdash;to be sure
+it is only Hyson Skin. In <i>your</i> family a pound of tea ought to go a
+great way, for now, of course, you do not make it strong. And then, I
+would advise you all to accustom yourselves to brown sugar in your tea;
+it is nothing when you are used to it. Of course you always take it in
+your coffee. And there is a baker not far off, that makes large loaves
+of rye and Indian mixed. You will find it much cheaper than wheat. Of
+course you are not so extravagant as to eat fresh bread. And as to
+butter, if you cannot dispense with it altogether, I would suggest that
+you should use the potted butter from the grocery stores. Some of it is
+excellent. I suppose that of course you have entirely given up all
+kinds of desserts, but if you should wish for anything of the kind on
+Sundays, or after a cold dinner, you will find plain boiled rice
+sweetened with a very little molasses, almost as good as a pudding. No
+doubt the children will like it quite as well. You know, I suppose, that
+if you defer going to market till near twelve o'clock you will always
+get things much cheaper than if you go in the early part of the day; as
+towards noon the market people are impatient to get home, and in their
+hurry to be off, will sell for almost nothing whatever they may chance
+to have left. In buying wood, let me recommend to you always to get it
+as green as possible. To be sure green wood does not always make so good
+a fire as that which is dry, neither does it kindle so well; but then
+the slower it burns the longer it lasts, and it is therefore the
+cheapest. And always get gum back-logs, for they scarcely burn at all. I
+see you still keep your black woman Lucy. Now you will find it much
+better to dismiss her, and take a bound girl about twelve or thirteen.
+Then you know you would have no wages to pay, and your daughters, of
+course, would not mind helping her with the work."</p>
+
+<p>During this harangue, the colour came into Mrs. Allerton's face, and she
+was about to answer in a manner that showed how acutely she was wounded
+by the unfeeling impertinence of the speaker: but glancing at Constance
+she saw something in her countenance that resembled a smile, and
+perceived that she seemed rather amused than angry. Therefore Mrs.
+Allerton suppressed her resentment, and made no reply.</p>
+
+<p>When Mrs. Craycroft had departed, the mother and daughters warmly
+deprecated her rudeness and insolence; but Constance, being by nature
+very susceptible of the ridiculous, was much more inclined to laugh, and
+succeeded in inducing her sister and the girls to regard it in the same
+light that she did.</p>
+
+<p>"After all," said Mrs. Allerton, "I think we will take Mrs. Craycroft's
+advice about the dyeing. The olive coats may thus be turned to very good
+account, and so may several other things of which we cannot now make use
+because of their colour. It is true, that we can ill afford even the
+expense of dyeing them; but still we are really very much in want of
+such coats as we may wear in mourning."</p>
+
+<p>Next day, the olive pelisses, which were very pretty and extremely well
+made, were carefully ripped apart, and the silk was conveyed to the
+dyer's, together with a small scarlet Canton crape shawl of Mrs.
+Allerton's, which she thought would be convenient in cold weather to
+wear over her shoulders when at home. The <i>materiel</i> of the dismembered
+coats was rolled up in as small a compass as possible, wrapped in
+papers, and carried one afternoon by Isabella and Helen. Mr. Copperas
+informed them that he only dyed on Thursdays, and as this was Friday
+afternoon, they had come a day too late to have the things done that
+week. Therefore the articles could not be put into the dye before next
+Thursday, and then it would be another week before they could be
+dressed. Dressing, in the dyer's phraseology, means stiffening and
+ironing; and very frequently ironing only.</p>
+
+<p>This delay was extremely inconvenient, as Mrs. Allerton and her
+daughters were absolutely very much in need of the coats; yet there was
+no remedy but patience. At the appointed time, two of the girls went to
+bring home the silk, but were told by a small-featured, mild-spoken
+Quaker woman, employed to attend the customers, that "the things were
+dyed but not yet dressed."</p>
+
+<p>"Will they be finished by to-morrow afternoon?" asked Isabella.</p>
+
+<p>"I rather think they will not."</p>
+
+<p>"By Saturday, then?"</p>
+
+<p>"It's likely they will."</p>
+
+<p>On Saturday, the girls went again. Still the articles, though dyed, were
+not yet dressed: but they were promised for Tuesday&mdash;if nothing happened
+to prevent.</p>
+
+<p>Every few days, for near a fortnight, some of the Allerton family
+repaired to the dyer's (and it was a very long walk) but without any
+success&mdash;the things, though always dyed, were never dressed. And when
+they expressed their disappointment, the Quaker woman regularly told
+them: "Thee knows I did not say positive&mdash;we should never be too certain
+of anything."</p>
+
+<p>Finally, the silk was acknowledged to be dressed, and it was produced
+and paid for; but the crape shawl was missing. A search was made for it,
+but in vain; still the woman assured them that it could not be lost, as
+nothing ever <i>was</i> lost in James Copperas's house, adding: "I partly
+promise thee, that if I live, I will find it for thee by to-morrow."</p>
+
+<p>Next day, when she had done sewing, little Louisa went again for the
+shawl. The woman now confessed that she had not been able to find it,
+and said to Louisa: "I think, child, I would not advise thee to trouble
+thyself to come after it again. It seems a pity to wear out thy shoes
+too much. One should not be too certain of anything in this life, and
+therefore I am not free to say that thy shawl is lost; but it seems to
+me likely that it will never be found."</p>
+
+<p>"My mother will be sorry," said Louisa, "for she really wants the shawl,
+and will regret to lose it."</p>
+
+<p>The little girl then turned to depart, and had reached the front door
+when the woman called her back, saying: "But thee'll pay for the
+dyeing?"<a name="FNanchor_86_86" id="FNanchor_86_86"></a><a href="#Footnote_86_86" class="fnanchor">[86]</a></p>
+
+<p>"What!" exclaimed Louisa, "after you have lost the shawl?"</p>
+
+<p>"But I can assure thee it <i>was</i> dyed," replied the woman. "It actually
+<i>was</i> dyed, I can speak positive to that, and we cannot afford to lose
+the dyeing."</p>
+
+<p>Louisa, child as she was, had acuteness enough to perceive the intended
+imposition, and, without making an answer, she slipped out of the door:
+though the woman caught her by the skirt, and attempted to stop her,
+repeating: "But we can't afford to lose the dyeing."</p>
+
+<p>Louisa, however, disengaged herself from her grasp, and ran down the
+street, for some distance, as fast as possible&mdash;afraid to look back lest
+the Quaker woman should be coming after her for the money she had
+brought to pay for the shawl, and which she took care to hold tightly in
+her hand.</p>
+
+<p>In attempting to make up the coats, it was found impossible to put the
+different pieces together to the same advantage as before. Also, the
+silk did not look well, being dyed of a dull brownish black, and
+stiffened to the consistence of paper. The skirts and sleeves had shrunk
+much in dyeing, and the pieces that composed the bodies had been
+ravelled, frayed, and pulled so crooked in dressing, that they had lost
+nearly all shape. It was impossible to make up the deficiencies by
+matching the silk with new, as none was to be found that bore sufficient
+resemblance to it. "Ah!" thought Constance, "how well these coats looked
+when in their original state! The shade of olive was so beautiful, the
+silk so soft and glossy, and they fitted so perfectly well."</p>
+
+<p>When put together under all these disadvantages, the coats looked so
+badly that the girls were at first unwilling to wear them, except in
+extreme cold weather&mdash;particularly as in coming out of church they
+overheard whispers among the ladies in the crowd, of "That's a dyed
+silk"&mdash;"Any one may see that those coats have been dyed."</p>
+
+<p>They trimmed them with crape, in hopes of making them look better; but
+the crape wore out almost immediately, and in fact it had to be taken
+off before the final close of the cold weather.</p>
+
+<p>Spring came at last, and the Allerton family, having struggled through a
+melancholy and comfortless winter, had taken a larger house in a better
+part of the town, and made arrangements for commencing their school, in
+which Constance was to be chief instructress. Isabella and Helen, whose
+ages were sixteen and fourteen, were to assist in teaching some
+branches, but to continue receiving lessons in others. Louisa was to be
+one of the pupils.</p>
+
+<p>About a fortnight before their intended removal to their new residence,
+one afternoon when none of the family were at home, except Constance,
+she was surprised by the visit of a friend from New Bedford, a young
+gentleman who had been absent three years on a whaling voyage, in a ship
+in which he had the chief interest, his father being owner of several
+vessels in that line.</p>
+
+<p>Edmund Lessingham was an admirer of ladies generally: but during his
+long voyage he found by his thinking incessantly of Constance, and not
+at all of any other female, that he was undoubtedly in love with her; a
+fact which he had not suspected till the last point of Massachusetts
+faded from his view. He resolved to improve his intimacy with our
+heroine, should he find her still at liberty, on his return to New
+Bedford; and if he perceived a probability of success, to make her at
+once an offer of his hand. When Lessingham came home, he was much
+disappointed to hear that Constance Allerton had been living for more
+than a twelvemonth in Philadelphia. However, he lost no time in coming
+on to see her.</p>
+
+<p>When he was shown into the parlour, she was sitting with her head bent
+over her work. She started up on being accosted by his well-remembered
+voice. Not having heard of the death of her brother, and not seeing her
+in mourning, Edmund Lessingham was at a loss to account for the tears
+that filled her eyes, and for the emotion that suffocated her voice when
+she attempted to reply to his warm expressions of delight at seeing her
+again. He perceived that she was thinner and paler than when he had last
+seen her, and he feared that all was not right. She signed to him to sit
+down, and was endeavouring to compose herself, when Mrs. Craycroft was
+shown into the room. That lady stared with surprise at seeing a very
+handsome young gentleman with Constance, who hastily wiped her eyes and
+introduced Mr. Lessingham.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Craycroft took a seat, and producing two or three morning caps from
+her reticule, she said in her usual loud voice, "Miss Allerton, I have
+brought these caps for you to alter&mdash;I wish you to do them immediately,
+that they may be washed next week. I find the borders rather too broad,
+and the headpieces too large (though to be sure I did cut them out
+myself), so I want you to rip them apart, and make the headpieces
+smaller, and the borders narrower, and then whip them and sew them on
+again. I was out the other day when you sent home my husband's shirts
+with the bill, but when you have done the caps I will pay you for all
+together. What will you charge for making a dozen aprons of bird's eye
+diaper for my little Anna? You must not ask much, for I want them quite
+plain&mdash;mere bibs&mdash;they are always the best for babies. Unless you will
+do them very cheap, I may as well make them myself."</p>
+
+<p>The face of Lessingham became scarlet, and, starting from his chair, he
+traversed the room in manifest perturbation; sympathizing with what he
+supposed to be the confusion and mortification of Constance, and
+regretting that the sex of Mrs. Craycroft prevented him from knocking
+her down.</p>
+
+<p>Constance, however, rallied, replying with apparent composure to Mrs.
+Craycroft on the points in question, and calmly settling the bargain for
+the bird's-eye aprons&mdash;she knew that it is only in the eyes of the
+vulgar-minded and the foolish that a woman is degraded by exerting her
+ingenuity or her talents as a means of support.</p>
+
+<p>"Well," said Mrs. Craycroft, "you may send for the aprons to-morrow, and
+I wish you to hurry with them as fast as you can&mdash;when I give out work,
+I never like it to be kept long on hand. I will pay you for the other
+things when the aprons are done."</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Craycroft then took her leave, and Constance turned to the window
+to conceal from Lessingham the tears that in spite of her self-command
+were now stealing down her cheeks.</p>
+
+<p>Lessingham hastily went up to her, and taking her hand, he said, with
+much feeling: "Dear Constance&mdash;Miss Allerton I mean&mdash;what has happened
+during my absence? Why do I see you thus? But I fear that I distress you
+by inquiring. I perceive that you are not happy&mdash;that you have suffered
+much, and that your circumstances are changed. Can I do nothing to
+console you or to improve your situation? Let me at once have a right to
+do so&mdash;let me persuade you to unite your fate with mine, and put an end,
+I hope for ever, to these unmerited, these intolerable humiliations."</p>
+
+<p>"No, Mr. Lessingham," said Constance, deeply affected, "I will not take
+advantage of the generous impulse that has led you thus suddenly to make
+an offer, which, perhaps, in a calmer moment, and on cooler
+consideration, you may think of with regret."</p>
+
+<p>"Regret!" exclaimed Lessingham, pressing her hand between both of his,
+and surveying her with a look of the fondest admiration, "dearest
+Constance, how little you know your own value&mdash;how little you suppose
+that during our long separation&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Here he was interrupted in his impassioned address by the entrance of
+Mrs. Allerton and her daughters. Constance hastily withdrew her hand and
+presented him as Mr. Lessingham, a friend of hers from New Bedford.</p>
+
+<p>Being much agitated, she in a few minutes retired to compose herself in
+her own apartment. The girls soon after withdrew, and Lessingham,
+frankly informing Mrs. Allerton that he was much and seriously
+interested in her sister-in-law, begged to know some particulars of her
+present condition.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Allerton, who felt it impossible to regard Mr. Lessingham as a
+stranger, gave him a brief outline of the circumstances of Constance's
+residence with them, and spoke of her as the guardian-angel of the
+family. "She is not only," said her sister-in-law, "one of the most
+amiable and affectionate, but also one of the most sensible and
+judicious of women. Never, never have we in any instance acted contrary
+to her advice, without eventually finding cause to regret that we did
+so." And Mrs. Allerton could not forbear casting her eyes over her
+mourning dress.</p>
+
+<p>Lessingham, though the praises of Constance were music in his ears, had
+tact enough to take his leave, fearing that his visit was interfering
+with the tea-hour of the family.</p>
+
+<p>Next morning, the weather was so mild as to enable them to sit up stairs
+with their sewing; for latterly, the state of their fuel had not allowed
+them to keep fire except in the parlour and kitchen. Lessingham called
+and inquired for Constance. She came down, and saw him alone. He
+renewed, in explicit terms, the offer he had so abruptly made her on
+the preceding afternoon. Constance, whose heart had been with Lessingham
+during the whole of his long absence, had a severe struggle before she
+could bring herself to insist on their union being postponed for at
+least two years: during which time she wished, for the sake of the
+family, to remain with them, and get the school firmly established; her
+nieces, meanwhile, completing their education, and acquiring, under her
+guidance, a proficiency in the routine of teaching.</p>
+
+<p>"But surely," said Lessingham, "you understand that I wish you to make
+over to your sister-in-law the whole of your aunt Ilford's legacy? You
+shall bring me nothing but your invaluable self."</p>
+
+<p>Though grateful for the generosity and disinterestedness of her lover,
+Constance knew that the interest of her ten thousand dollars was, of
+course, not sufficient to support Mrs. Allerton and her children without
+some other source of income; and she was convinced that they would never
+consent to become pensioners on Lessingham's bounty, kind and liberal as
+he was. She therefore adhered to her determination of remaining with her
+sister and nieces till she had seen them fairly afloat, and till she
+could leave them in a prosperous condition. And Lessingham was obliged
+to yield to her conviction that she was acting rightly, and to consent
+that the completion of his happiness should accordingly be deferred for
+two years.</p>
+
+<p>He remained in Philadelphia till he had seen the Allerton family
+established in their new habitation, and he managed with much delicacy
+to aid them in the expenses of fitting it up.</p>
+
+<p>The school was commenced with a much larger number of pupils than had
+been anticipated. It increased rapidly under the judicious
+superintendence of Constance: and in the course of two years she had
+rendered Isabella and Helen so capable of filling her place, that all
+the parents were perfectly satisfied to continue their children with
+them. At the end of that time, Lessingham (who, in the interval, had
+made frequent visits to Philadelphia) came to claim the promised hand of
+his Constance. They were married&mdash;she having first transferred the whole
+of her little property to her brother's widow.</p>
+
+<p>At the earnest desire of Lessingham, Mrs. Allerton consented that Louisa
+should live in future with her beloved aunt Constance; and consequently
+the little girl accompanied them to New Bedford.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Allerton and her family went on and prospered&mdash;her son was
+everything that a parent could wish&mdash;her children all married
+advantageously&mdash;and happily she has not yet had occasion to put in
+practice her resolution of never again wearing mourning: though
+principle, and not necessity, is the motive which will henceforward
+deter her from complying with that custom.</p>
+
+
+<h3>THE END.</h3>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Thick sour milk.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> The author takes this occasion to remark, that the
+illustrious artist to whom so many of his countrymen erroneously give
+the title of Sir Benjamin West, never in reality had the compliment of
+knighthood conferred on him. He lived and died <i>Mr.</i> West, as is well
+known to all who have any acquaintance with pictures and painters.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> A celebrated coloured waiter in Philadelphia.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> The French pronunciation of Richard.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> The old papa, and the old mamma.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> The young Sammy.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_7" id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> Old Court.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_8" id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> Bluntness, roughness.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_9" id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> Customs of polite society.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_10" id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> A person of strong mind, superior mind.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_11" id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> Perfectly destroyed, plunged into an abyss of despair.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_12_12" id="Footnote_12_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_12"><span class="label">[12]</span></a> My friend, my dear.</p></div>
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_13_13" id="Footnote_13_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_13_13"><span class="label">[13]</span></a> A little blunt&mdash;a little rough. It is his character.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_14_14" id="Footnote_14_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_14_14"><span class="label">[14]</span></a> "Ah! pine-apples&mdash;my dear&mdash;(to her
+husband)&mdash;mamma&mdash;papa&mdash;see&mdash;see&mdash;pine-apples!"</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_15_15" id="Footnote_15_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_15_15"><span class="label">[15]</span></a> Ah! what a scene&mdash;a real tragedy!</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_16_16" id="Footnote_16_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_16_16"><span class="label">[16]</span></a> My beloved Alphonse.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_17_17" id="Footnote_17_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_17_17"><span class="label">[17]</span></a> Much obliged to you.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_18_18" id="Footnote_18_18"></a><a href="#FNanchor_18_18"><span class="label">[18]</span></a> Mamma, you do not eat with a good appetite. Ah! I
+understand&mdash;you wish for some cream with your pine-apple.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_19_19" id="Footnote_19_19"></a><a href="#FNanchor_19_19"><span class="label">[19]</span></a> Absolutely frightful.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_20_20" id="Footnote_20_20"></a><a href="#FNanchor_20_20"><span class="label">[20]</span></a> Juice.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_21_21" id="Footnote_21_21"></a><a href="#FNanchor_21_21"><span class="label">[21]</span></a> My dear papa, you have not finished already?</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_22_22" id="Footnote_22_22"></a><a href="#FNanchor_22_22"><span class="label">[22]</span></a> Is it possible?</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_23_23" id="Footnote_23_23"></a><a href="#FNanchor_23_23"><span class="label">[23]</span></a> Old mamma.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_24_24" id="Footnote_24_24"></a><a href="#FNanchor_24_24"><span class="label">[24]</span></a> Old papa.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_25_25" id="Footnote_25_25"></a><a href="#FNanchor_25_25"><span class="label">[25]</span></a> Eh! my dear, this little collation comes very seasonably,
+as our breakfast was nothing but a bad salad.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_26_26" id="Footnote_26_26"></a><a href="#FNanchor_26_26"><span class="label">[26]</span></a> What horror! What abomination! It is really too much!</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_27_27" id="Footnote_27_27"></a><a href="#FNanchor_27_27"><span class="label">[27]</span></a> Goodness of heart.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_28_28" id="Footnote_28_28"></a><a href="#FNanchor_28_28"><span class="label">[28]</span></a> The mild Sammy&mdash;the gentle Sammy.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_29_29" id="Footnote_29_29"></a><a href="#FNanchor_29_29"><span class="label">[29]</span></a> The vulgar French think that the English term for all
+sorts of roasted meat is <i>rosbif</i>&mdash;thus <i>rosbif de mouton&mdash;rosbif de
+porc</i>. Potatoes plainly boiled, with the skins on, are called, in
+France, <i>pommes de terre au naturel</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_30_30" id="Footnote_30_30"></a><a href="#FNanchor_30_30"><span class="label">[30]</span></a> Speak French.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_31_31" id="Footnote_31_31"></a><a href="#FNanchor_31_31"><span class="label">[31]</span></a> Yes, sir.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_32_32" id="Footnote_32_32"></a><a href="#FNanchor_32_32"><span class="label">[32]</span></a> My pretty Annette.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_33_33" id="Footnote_33_33"></a><a href="#FNanchor_33_33"><span class="label">[33]</span></a> My dear.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_34_34" id="Footnote_34_34"></a><a href="#FNanchor_34_34"><span class="label">[34]</span></a> I am delighted at it.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_35_35" id="Footnote_35_35"></a><a href="#FNanchor_35_35"><span class="label">[35]</span></a> Now, my dear, let us begin&mdash;let us begin immediately.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_36_36" id="Footnote_36_36"></a><a href="#FNanchor_36_36"><span class="label">[36]</span></a> My dear child.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_37_37" id="Footnote_37_37"></a><a href="#FNanchor_37_37"><span class="label">[37]</span></a> Perfectly well.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_38_38" id="Footnote_38_38"></a><a href="#FNanchor_38_38"><span class="label">[38]</span></a> Properly.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_39_39" id="Footnote_39_39"></a><a href="#FNanchor_39_39"><span class="label">[39]</span></a> I am in despair.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_40_40" id="Footnote_40_40"></a><a href="#FNanchor_40_40"><span class="label">[40]</span></a> "I am thrown in an abyss of grief," is perhaps nearest the
+meaning of this very French expression.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_41_41" id="Footnote_41_41"></a><a href="#FNanchor_41_41"><span class="label">[41]</span></a> Bad person&mdash;bad child.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_42_42" id="Footnote_42_42"></a><a href="#FNanchor_42_42"><span class="label">[42]</span></a> But come, let us try again.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_43_43" id="Footnote_43_43"></a><a href="#FNanchor_43_43"><span class="label">[43]</span></a> Oh! what a pity!</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_44_44" id="Footnote_44_44"></a><a href="#FNanchor_44_44"><span class="label">[44]</span></a> But no matter&mdash;let them alone.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_45_45" id="Footnote_45_45"></a><a href="#FNanchor_45_45"><span class="label">[45]</span></a> Like an angel.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_46_46" id="Footnote_46_46"></a><a href="#FNanchor_46_46"><span class="label">[46]</span></a> Ah! what roguery&mdash;the little jade! What an instance of
+imposture and wickedness!</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_47_47" id="Footnote_47_47"></a><a href="#FNanchor_47_47"><span class="label">[47]</span></a> I am frozen with horror!&mdash;I tremble!&mdash;I shiver!</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_48_48" id="Footnote_48_48"></a><a href="#FNanchor_48_48"><span class="label">[48]</span></a> A little supper.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_49_49" id="Footnote_49_49"></a><a href="#FNanchor_49_49"><span class="label">[49]</span></a> The gentle Sammy and the lovely Fanchette.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_50_50" id="Footnote_50_50"></a><a href="#FNanchor_50_50"><span class="label">[50]</span></a> <i>Soupe à la jambe de bois&mdash;musettes de mouton&mdash;lapins en
+lorgnettes&mdash;poulardes en bas de soie&mdash;pommes de terre en chemise.</i> See
+Ude, &amp;c.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_51_51" id="Footnote_51_51"></a><a href="#FNanchor_51_51"><span class="label">[51]</span></a> Easy chair.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_52_52" id="Footnote_52_52"></a><a href="#FNanchor_52_52"><span class="label">[52]</span></a> My lovely Lulu, my darling Mimi, and my little angel
+Gogo.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_53_53" id="Footnote_53_53"></a><a href="#FNanchor_53_53"><span class="label">[53]</span></a> Her beloved niece, Miss Robertine.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_54_54" id="Footnote_54_54"></a><a href="#FNanchor_54_54"><span class="label">[54]</span></a> Hair-dressers.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_55_55" id="Footnote_55_55"></a><a href="#FNanchor_55_55"><span class="label">[55]</span></a> Sugar and water.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_56_56" id="Footnote_56_56"></a><a href="#FNanchor_56_56"><span class="label">[56]</span></a> No matter.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_57_57" id="Footnote_57_57"></a><a href="#FNanchor_57_57"><span class="label">[57]</span></a> Farce, in French cookery, signifies chopped meat, fish,
+poultry, well seasoned and mixed with other ingredients.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_58_58" id="Footnote_58_58"></a><a href="#FNanchor_58_58"><span class="label">[58]</span></a> Perfect love.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_59_59" id="Footnote_59_59"></a><a href="#FNanchor_59_59"><span class="label">[59]</span></a> Ah! how touching are these sublime sentiments!</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_60_60" id="Footnote_60_60"></a><a href="#FNanchor_60_60"><span class="label">[60]</span></a> My dear friend, permit me to weep a little for the sad
+fate of innocence and virtue&mdash;unfortunate Paul&mdash;hapless Virginia.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_61_61" id="Footnote_61_61"></a><a href="#FNanchor_61_61"><span class="label">[61]</span></a> Old Philip.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_62_62" id="Footnote_62_62"></a><a href="#FNanchor_62_62"><span class="label">[62]</span></a> Let us always speak French.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_63_63" id="Footnote_63_63"></a><a href="#FNanchor_63_63"><span class="label">[63]</span></a> Yes, I know it.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_64_64" id="Footnote_64_64"></a><a href="#FNanchor_64_64"><span class="label">[64]</span></a> Yes, perfidious man&mdash;traitor&mdash;almost rascal&mdash;tremble. I
+know you&mdash;tremble, tremble. I tell you&mdash;I&mdash;it is I that am speaking to
+you.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_65_65" id="Footnote_65_65"></a><a href="#FNanchor_65_65"><span class="label">[65]</span></a> Idiot&mdash;he does not understand French.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_66_66" id="Footnote_66_66"></a><a href="#FNanchor_66_66"><span class="label">[66]</span></a> Plebeian as you are.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_67_67" id="Footnote_67_67"></a><a href="#FNanchor_67_67"><span class="label">[67]</span></a> Knave.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_68_68" id="Footnote_68_68"></a><a href="#FNanchor_68_68"><span class="label">[68]</span></a> Ah! how difficult it is to stifle my emotions! No matter,
+I must make a great effort.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_69_69" id="Footnote_69_69"></a><a href="#FNanchor_69_69"><span class="label">[69]</span></a> Listen.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_70_70" id="Footnote_70_70"></a><a href="#FNanchor_70_70"><span class="label">[70]</span></a> Ah! villain&mdash;monster&mdash;ogre.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_71_71" id="Footnote_71_71"></a><a href="#FNanchor_71_71"><span class="label">[71]</span></a> Afterwards General Worth.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_72_72" id="Footnote_72_72"></a><a href="#FNanchor_72_72"><span class="label">[72]</span></a> Miss Julianna Bater, an old Moravian lady, from Bethlehem,
+Pennsylvania, who was well known in Philadelphia, many years since, as a
+teacher of embroidery.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_73_73" id="Footnote_73_73"></a><a href="#FNanchor_73_73"><span class="label">[73]</span></a> <i>Estafette</i>, we believe, is the proper term, but the
+military couriers of that period were always called <i>videttes</i> by the
+citizens.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_74_74" id="Footnote_74_74"></a><a href="#FNanchor_74_74"><span class="label">[74]</span></a> Hare.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_75_75" id="Footnote_75_75"></a><a href="#FNanchor_75_75"><span class="label">[75]</span></a> In those days, white muslin dresses were worn both in
+winter and summer.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_76_76" id="Footnote_76_76"></a><a href="#FNanchor_76_76"><span class="label">[76]</span></a> All these things the author has seen.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_77_77" id="Footnote_77_77"></a><a href="#FNanchor_77_77"><span class="label">[77]</span></a> Bonsoir.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_78_78" id="Footnote_78_78"></a><a href="#FNanchor_78_78"><span class="label">[78]</span></a> Bagatelle.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_79_79" id="Footnote_79_79"></a><a href="#FNanchor_79_79"><span class="label">[79]</span></a> Je ne sais quoi.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_80_80" id="Footnote_80_80"></a><a href="#FNanchor_80_80"><span class="label">[80]</span></a> Soirée.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_81_81" id="Footnote_81_81"></a><a href="#FNanchor_81_81"><span class="label">[81]</span></a> This implied compliment to our vessels and seamen was
+really made by a British sailor, in a similar conversation with an
+American gentleman.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_82_82" id="Footnote_82_82"></a><a href="#FNanchor_82_82"><span class="label">[82]</span></a> Belay&mdash;a sea-term, signifying to secure or make fast a
+rope.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_83_83" id="Footnote_83_83"></a><a href="#FNanchor_83_83"><span class="label">[83]</span></a> Fact.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_84_84" id="Footnote_84_84"></a><a href="#FNanchor_84_84"><span class="label">[84]</span></a> Query? Which epithet is the most elegant, flap or slap? We
+rather think "the flaps have it."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_85_85" id="Footnote_85_85"></a><a href="#FNanchor_85_85"><span class="label">[85]</span></a> Fact.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_86_86" id="Footnote_86_86"></a><a href="#FNanchor_86_86"><span class="label">[86]</span></a> Fact.</p></div>
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diff --git a/37573.txt b/37573.txt
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+++ b/37573.txt
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Pencil Sketches, by Eliza Leslie
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Pencil Sketches
+       or, Outlines of Character and Manners
+
+Author: Eliza Leslie
+
+Release Date: September 30, 2011 [EBook #37573]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PENCIL SKETCHES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Julia Miller, Mary Meehan and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                             PENCIL SKETCHES:
+
+                                   OR,
+
+                    OUTLINES OF CHARACTER AND MANNERS.
+
+                             BY MISS LESLIE.
+
+    INCLUDING "MRS. WASHINGTON POTTS," AND "MR. SMITH," WITH OTHER STORIES.
+
+
+                "So runs the world away."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+    PHILADELPHIA:
+    A. HART, LATE CAREY & HART,
+    126 CHESTNUT STREET.
+    1852.
+
+    Entered, according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1852, by
+    A. HART, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United
+    States, in and for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.
+
+    E. B. M
+    EARS, STEREOTYPER. T. K. & P. G. COLLINS, PRINTERS.
+
+
+
+
+ADVERTISEMENT.
+
+
+The work from which the following is a selection, has been long out of
+print; and many inquiries have been made concerning it. Since its first
+appearance, a new generation of young people has grown up; and they may,
+perhaps, find amusement and improvement in pictures of domestic life,
+that were recognised as such by their mothers.
+
+The present volume will probably be succeeded by another, containing the
+remainder of the original Pencil Sketches, with additional stories.
+
+
+    ELIZA LESLIE.
+
+    UNITED STATES HOTEL,
+    Philadelphia, March 25th, 1852.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+
+MRS. WASHINGTON POTTS                                        13
+
+MR. SMITH                                                    50
+
+UNCLE PHILIP                                                 82
+
+THE ALBUM                                                   131
+
+THE SET OF CHINA                                            147
+
+LAURA LOVEL                                                 157
+
+JOHN W. ROBERTSON; A TALE OF A CENT                         197
+
+THE LADIES' BALL                                            217
+
+THE RED BOX; OR, SCENES AT THE GENERAL WAYNE                240
+
+THE OFFICERS; A STORY OF THE LAST WAR WITH ENGLAND          266
+
+PETER JONES; A SKETCH FROM LIFE                             297
+
+THE OLD FARM-HOUSE                                          314
+
+THAT GENTLEMAN; OR, PENCILLINGS ON SHIP-BOARD               333
+
+THE SERENADES                                               358
+
+SOCIABLE VISITING                                           376
+
+COUNTRY LODGINGS                                            402
+
+CONSTANCE ALLERTON; OR, THE MOURNING SUITS                  415
+
+
+
+
+MRS. WASHINGTON POTTS.
+
+     "The course of _parties_ never does run smooth."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Bromley Cheston, an officer in the United States navy, had just returned
+from a three years' cruise in the Mediterranean. His ship came into New
+York; and after he had spent a week with a sister that was married in
+Boston, he could not resist his inclination to pay a visit to his
+maternal aunt, who had resided since her widowhood at one of the small
+towns on the banks of the Delaware.
+
+The husband of Mrs. Marsden had not lived long enough to make his
+fortune, and it was his last injunction that she should retire with her
+daughter to the country, or at least to a country town. He feared that
+if she remained in Philadelphia she would have too many temptations to
+exercise her taste for unnecessary expense: and that, in consequence,
+the very moderate income, which was all he was able to leave her, would
+soon be found insufficient to supply her with comforts.
+
+We will not venture to say that duty to his aunt Marsden was the young
+lieutenant's only incentive to this visit: as she had a beautiful
+daughter about eighteen, for whom, since her earliest childhood, Bromley
+Cheston had felt something a little more vivid than the usual degree of
+regard that boys think sufficient for their cousins. His family had
+formerly lived in Philadelphia, and till he went into the navy Bromley
+and Albina were in habits of daily intercourse. Afterwards, on returning
+from sea, he always, as soon as he set his foot on American ground,
+began to devise means of seeing his pretty cousin, however short the
+time and however great the distance. And it was in meditation on
+Albina's beauty and sprightliness that he had often "while sailing on
+the midnight deep," beguiled the long hours of the watch, and thus
+rendered more tolerable that dreariest part of a seaman's duty.
+
+On arriving at the village, Lieutenant Cheston immediately established
+his quarters at the hotel, fearing that to become an inmate of his
+aunt's house might cause her some inconvenience. Though he had performed
+the whole journey in a steamboat, he could not refrain from changing his
+waistcoat, brushing his coat sleeves, brushing his hat, brushing his
+hair, and altering the tie of his cravat. Though he had "never told his
+love," it cannot be said that concealment had "preyed on his damask
+cheek;" the only change in that damask having been effected by the sun
+and wind of the ocean.
+
+Mrs. Marsden lived in a small modest-looking white house, with a green
+door and green venetian shutters. In early summer the porch was canopied
+and perfumed with honeysuckle, and the windows with roses. In front was
+a flower-garden, redolent of sweetness and beauty; behind was a
+well-stored _potager_, and a flourishing little orchard. The windows
+were amply shaded by the light and graceful foliage of some beautiful
+locust trees.
+
+"What a lovely spot!" exclaimed Cheston--and
+innocence--modesty--candour--contentment--peace--simple
+pleasures--intellectual enjoyments--and various other delightful ideas
+chased each other rapidly through his mind.
+
+When he knocked at the door, it was opened by a black girl named Drusa,
+who had been brought up in the family, and whose delight on seeing him
+was so great that she could scarcely find it in her heart to tell him
+that "the ladies were both out, or at least partly out." Cheston,
+however, more than suspected that they were wholly at home, for he saw
+his aunt peeping over the bannisters, and had a glimpse of his cousin
+flitting into the back parlour; and besides, the whole domicile was
+evidently in some great commotion, strongly resembling that horror of
+all men, a house-cleaning. The carpets had been removed, and the hall
+was filled with the parlour-chairs: half of them being turned bottom
+upwards on the others, with looking-glasses and pictures leaning against
+them; and he knew that, on such occasions, the ladies of a family in
+middle life are never among the missing.
+
+"Go and give Lieutenant Cheston's compliments to your ladies," said he,
+"and let them know that he is waiting to see them."
+
+Mrs. Marsden now ran down stairs in a wrapper and morning cap, and gave
+her nephew a very cordial reception. "Our house is just now in such
+confusion," said she, "that I have no place to invite you to sit down
+in, except the back porch."--And there they accordingly took their
+seats.
+
+"Do not suppose," continued Mrs. Marsden, "that we are cleaning house:
+but we are going to have a party to-night, and therefore you are most
+fortunate in your arrival, for I think I can promise you a very pleasant
+evening. We have sent invitations to all the most genteel families
+within seven miles, and I can assure you there was a great deal of
+trouble in getting the notes conveyed. We have also asked a number of
+strangers from the city, who happen to be boarding in the village; we
+called on them for that purpose. If all that are invited were to come,
+we should have a complete squeeze; but unluckily we have received an
+unusual number of regrets, and some have as yet returned no answers at
+all. However, we are sure of Mrs. Washington Potts."
+
+"I see," said Cheston, "you are having your parlours papered."--"Yes,"
+replied Mrs. Marsden, "we could not possibly have a party with that
+old-fashioned paper on the walls, and we sent to the city a week ago for
+a man to come and bring with him some of the newest patterns, but he
+never made his appearance till last night after we had entirely given
+him up, and after we had had the rooms put in complete order in other
+respects. But he says, as the parlours are very small, he can easily put
+on the new paper before evening, so we thought it better to take up the
+carpets, and take down the curtains, and undo all that we did yesterday,
+rather than the walls should look old-fashioned. I _did_ intend having
+them painted, which would of course be much better, only that there was
+no time to get _that_ done before the party; so we must defer the
+painting now for three or four years, till this new paper has grown
+old."
+
+"But where is Albina?" asked Cheston.
+
+"The truth is," answered Mrs. Marsden, "she is very busy making cakes;
+as in this place we can buy none that are fit for a party. Luckily
+Albina is very clever at all such things, having been a pupil of Mrs.
+Goodfellow. But there is certainly a great deal of trouble in getting up
+a party in the country."
+
+Just then the black girl, Drusa, made her appearance, and said to Mrs.
+Marsden, "I've been for that there bean you call wanilla, and Mr. Brown
+says he never heard of such a thing."
+
+"A man that keeps so large a store has no right to be so ignorant,"
+remarked Mrs. Marsden. "Then, Drusa, we must flavour the ice-cream with
+lemon."
+
+"There a'n't no more lemons to be had," said the girl, "and we've just
+barely enough for the lemonade."
+
+"Then some of the lemons must be taken for the ice-cream," replied Mrs.
+Marsden, "and we must make out the lemonade with cream of tartar."
+
+"I forgot to tell you," said Drusa, "that Mrs. Jones says she can't
+spare no more cream, upon no account."
+
+"How vexatious!" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden. "I wish we had two cows of our
+own--one is not sufficient when we are about giving a party. Drusa, we
+must make out the ice-cream by thickening some milk with eggs."
+
+"Eggs are scace," replied the girl, "Miss Albinar uses up so many for
+the cakes."
+
+"She must spare some eggs from the cakes," said Mrs. Marsden, "and make
+out the cakes by adding a little pearl-ash. Go directly and tell her
+so."
+
+Cheston, though by no means _au fait_ to the mysteries of confectionary,
+could not help smiling at all this making out--"Really," said his aunt,
+"these things are very annoying. And as this party is given to Mrs.
+Washington Potts, it is extremely desirable that nothing should fail.
+There is no such thing now as having company, unless we can receive and
+entertain them in a certain style."
+
+"I perfectly remember," said Cheston, "the last party at which I was
+present in your house. I was then a midshipman, and it was just before I
+sailed on my first cruise in the Pacific. I spent a delightful evening."
+
+"Yes, I recollect that night," replied Mrs. Marsden. "In those days it
+was not necessary for us to support a certain style, and parties were
+then very simple things, except among people of the first rank. It was
+thought sufficient to have two or three baskets of substantial cakes at
+tea, some almonds, raisins, apples, and oranges, handed round
+afterwards, with wine and cordial, and then a large-sized pound-cake at
+the last. The company assembled at seven o'clock, and generally walked;
+for the ladies' dresses were only plain white muslin. We invited but as
+many as could be accommodated with seats. The young people played at
+forfeits, and sung English and Scotch songs, and at the close of the
+evening danced to the piano. How Mrs. Washington Potts would be shocked
+if she was to find herself at one of those obsolete parties!"
+
+"The calf-jelly won't be clear," said the black girl, again making her
+appearance. "Aunt Katy has strained it five times over through the
+flannen-bag."
+
+"Go then and tell her to strain it five-and-twenty times," said Mrs.
+Marsden angrily--"It must and shall be clear. Nothing is more vulgar
+than clouded jelly; Mrs. Washington Potts will not touch it unless it is
+transparent as amber."
+
+"What, Nong tong paw again!" said Cheston. "Now do tell me who is Mrs.
+Washington Potts?"
+
+"Is it possible you have not heard of her?" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden.
+
+"Indeed I have not," replied Cheston. "You forget that for several years
+I have been cruising on classic ground, and I can assure you that the
+name of Mrs. Washington Potts has not yet reached the shores of the
+Mediterranean."
+
+"She is wife to a gentleman that has made a fortune in New Orleans,"
+pursued Mrs. Marsden. "They came last winter to live in Philadelphia,
+having first visited London and Paris. During the warm weather they took
+lodgings in this village, and we have become quite intimate. So we have
+concluded to give them a party, previous to their return to
+Philadelphia, which is to take place immediately. She is a charming
+woman, though she certainly makes strange mistakes in talking. You have
+no idea how sociable she is, at least since she returned our call;
+which, to be sure, was not till the end of a week; and Albina and I had
+sat up in full dress to receive her for no less than five days: that is,
+from twelve o'clock till three. At last she came, and it would have
+surprised you to see how affably she behaved to us."
+
+"Not at all," said Cheston, "I should not have expected that she would
+have treated you rudely."
+
+"She really," continued Mrs. Marsden, "grew quite intimate before her
+visit was over, and took our hands at parting. And as she went out
+through the garden, she stopped to admire Albina's moss-roses: so we
+could do no less than give her all that were blown. From that day she
+has always sent to us when she wants flowers."
+
+"No doubt of it," said Cheston.
+
+"You cannot imagine," pursued Mrs. Marsden, "on what a familiar footing
+we are. She has a high opinion of Albina's taste, and often gets her to
+make up caps and do other little things for her. When any of her
+children are sick, she never sends anywhere else for currant jelly or
+preserves. Albina makes gingerbread for them every Saturday. During the
+holidays she frequently sent her three boys to spend the day with us.
+There is the very place in the railing where Randolph broke out a stick
+to whip Jefferson with, because Jefferson had thrown in his face a hot
+baked apple which the mischievous little rogue had stolen out of Katy's
+oven."
+
+In the mean time Albina had taken off the brown holland bib apron which
+she had worn all day in the kitchen, and telling the cook to watch
+carefully the plum-cake that was baking, she hastened to her room by a
+back staircase, and proceeded to take the pins out of her hair; for
+where is the young lady that on any emergency whatever, would appear
+before a young gentleman with her hair pinned up? Though, just now, the
+opening out of her curls was a considerable inconvenience to Albina, as
+she had bestowed much time and pains on putting them up for the evening.
+
+Finally she came down in "prime array;" and Cheston, who had left her a
+school-girl, found her now grown to womanhood, and more beautiful than
+ever. Still he could not forbear reproving her for treating him so much
+as a stranger, and not coming to him at once in her morning-dress.
+
+"Mrs. Washington Potts," said Albina, "is of opinion that a young lady
+should never be seen in dishabille by a gentleman."
+
+Cheston now found it very difficult to hear the name of Mrs. Potts with
+patience.--"Albina," thought he, "is bewitched as well as her mother."
+
+He spoke of his cruise in the Mediterranean; and Albina told him that
+she had seen a beautiful view of the bay of Naples in a souvenir
+belonging to Mrs. Washington Potts.
+
+"I have brought with me some sketches of Mediterranean scenery," pursued
+Cheston. "You know I draw a little. I promise myself great pleasure in
+showing and explaining them to you."
+
+"Oh! do send them this afternoon," exclaimed Albina. "They will be the
+very things for the centre-table. I dare say the Montagues will
+recognise some of the places they have seen in Italy, for they have
+travelled all over the south of Europe."
+
+"And who are the Montagues?" inquired Cheston.
+
+"They are a very elegant English family," answered Mrs. Marsden,
+"cousins in some way to several noblemen."
+
+"Perhaps so," said Cheston.
+
+"Albina met with them at the lodgings of Mrs. Washington Potts," pursued
+Mrs. Marsden, "where they have been staying a week for the benefit of
+country air; and so she enclosed her card, and sent them invitations to
+her party. They have as yet returned no answer; but that is no proof
+they will not come, for perhaps it may be the newest fashion in England
+not to answer notes."
+
+"You know the English are a very peculiar people," remarked Albina.
+
+"And what other lions have you provided?" said Cheston.
+
+"Oh! no others except a poet," replied Albina. "Have you never heard of
+Bewley Garvin Gandy?"
+
+"Never!" answered Cheston. "Is that all one man?"
+
+"Nonsense," replied Albina; "you know that poets generally have three
+names. B. G, G. was formerly Mr. Gandy's signature when he wrote only
+for the newspapers, but now since he has come out in the magazines, and
+annuals, and published his great poem of the World of Sorrow, he gives
+his name at full length. He has tried law, physic, and divinity, and has
+resigned all for the Muses. He is a great favourite of Mrs. Washington
+Potts."
+
+"And now, Albina," said Cheston, "as I know you can have but little
+leisure to-day, I will only detain you while you indulge me with 'Auld
+lang syne'--I see the piano has been moved out into the porch."
+
+"Yes," said Mrs. Marsden, "on account of the parlour papering."
+
+"Oh! Bromley Cheston," exclaimed Albina, "do not ask me to play any of
+those antediluvian Scotch songs. Mrs. Washington Potts cannot tolerate
+anything but Italian."
+
+Cheston, who had no taste for Italian, immediately took his hat, and
+apologizing for the length of his stay, was going away with the thought
+that Albina had much deteriorated in growing up.
+
+"We shall see you this evening without the ceremony of a further
+invitation?" said Albina.
+
+"Of course," replied Cheston.
+
+"I quite long to introduce you to Mrs. Washington Potts," said Mrs.
+Marsden.
+
+"What simpletons these women are!" thought Cheston, as he hastily turned
+to depart.
+
+"The big plum-cake's burnt to a coal," said Drusa, putting her head out
+of the kitchen door.
+
+Both the ladies were off in an instant to the scene of disaster. And
+Cheston returned to his hotel, thinking of Mrs. Potts (whom he had made
+up his mind to dislike), of the old adage that "evil communication
+corrupts good manners," and of the almost irresistible contagion of
+folly and vanity. "I am disappointed in Albina," said he; "in future I
+will regard her only as my mother's niece, and more than a cousin she
+shall never be to me."
+
+Albina having assisted Mrs. Marsden in lamenting over the burnt cake,
+took off her silk frock, again pinned up her hair, and joined
+assiduously in preparing another plum-cake to replace the first one. A
+fatality seemed to attend nearly all the confections, as is often the
+case when particular importance is attached to their success. The jelly
+obstinately refused to clarify, and the blanc-mange was equally
+unwilling to congeal. The maccaroons having run in baking, had neither
+shape nor feature, the kisses declined rising, and the sponge-cake
+contradicted its name. Some of the things succeeded, but most were
+complete failures: probably because (as old Katy insisted) "there was a
+spell upon them." In a city these disasters could easily have been
+remedied (even at the eleventh hour) by sending to a confectioner's
+shop, but in the country there is no alternative. Some of these
+mischances might perhaps have been attributed to the volunteered
+assistance of a mantua-maker that had been sent for from the city to
+make new dresses for the occasion, and who on this busy day, being "one
+of the best creatures in the world," had declared her willingness to
+turn her hand to anything.
+
+It was late in the afternoon before the papering was over, and then
+great indeed was the bustle in clearing away the litter, cleaning the
+floors, putting down the carpets, and replacing the furniture. In the
+midst of the confusion, and while the ladies were earnestly engaged in
+fixing the ornaments, Drusa came in to say that Dixon, the waiter that
+had been hired for the evening, had just arrived, and falling to work
+immediately he had poured all the blanc-mange down the sink, mistaking
+it for bonnyclabber.[1] This intelligence was almost too much to bear,
+and Mrs. Marsden could scarcely speak for vexation.
+
+[Footnote 1: Thick sour milk.]
+
+"Drusa," said Albina, "you are a raven that has done nothing all day but
+croak of disaster. Away, and show your face no more, let what will
+happen."
+
+Drusa departed, but in a few minutes she again put in her head at the
+parlour door and said, "Ma'am, may I jist speak one time more?"
+
+"What now?" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden.
+
+"Oh! there's nothing else spiled or flung down the sink, jist now," said
+Drusa, "but something's at hand a heap worse than all. Missus's old Aunt
+Quimby has jist landed from the boat, and is coming up the road with
+baggage enough to last all summer."
+
+"Aunt Quimby!" exclaimed Albina; "this indeed caps the climax!"
+
+"Was there ever anything more provoking!" said Mrs. Marsden. "When I
+lived in town she annoyed me sufficiently by coming every week to spend
+a day with me, and now she does not spend days but _weeks_. I would go
+to Alabama to get rid of her."
+
+"And then," said Albina, "she would come and spend _months_ with us.
+However, to do her justice, she is a very respectable woman."
+
+"All bores are respectable people," replied Mrs. Marsden; "if they were
+otherwise, it would not be in their power to bore us, for we could cut
+them and cast them off at once. How very unlucky! What will Mrs.
+Washington Potts think of her--and the Montagues too, if they _should_
+come? Still we must not affront her, as you know she is rich."
+
+"What can her riches signify to us?" said Albina; "she has a married
+daughter."
+
+"True," replied Mrs. Marsden, "but you know riches should always command
+a certain degree of respect, and there are such things as legacies."
+
+"After all, according to the common saying, 'tis an ill wind that blows
+no good;' the parlours having been freshly papered, we can easily
+persuade Aunt Quimby that they are too damp for her to sit in, and so we
+can make her stay up stairs all the evening."
+
+At this moment the old lady's voice was heard at the door, discharging
+the porter who had brought her baggage on his wheelbarrow; and the next
+minute she was in the front parlour. Mrs. Marsden and Albina were
+properly astonished, and, properly delighted at seeing her; but each,
+after a pause of recollection, suddenly seized the old lady by the arms
+and conveyed her into the entry, exclaiming, "Oh! Aunt Quimby! Aunt
+Quimby! this is no place for you."
+
+"What's the meaning of all this?" cried Mrs. Quimby; "why won't you let
+me stay in the parlour?"
+
+"You'll get your death," answered Mrs. Marsden, "you'll get the
+rheumatism. Both parlours have been newly papered to-day, and the walls
+are quite wet."
+
+"That's a bad thing," said Mrs. Quimby, "a very bad thing. I wish you
+had put off your papering till next spring. Who'd have thought of your
+doing it this day of all days?"
+
+"Oh! Aunt Quimby," said Albina, "why did you not let us know that you
+were coming?"
+
+"Why, I wanted to give you an agreeable surprise," replied the old lady.
+"But tell me why the rooms are so decked out, with flowers hanging about
+the looking-glasses and lamps, and why the candles are dressed with cut
+paper, or something that looks like it?"
+
+"We are going to have a party to-night," said Albina.
+
+"A party! I'm glad of it. Then I'm come just in the nick of time."
+
+"I thought you had long since given up parties," said Mrs. Marsden,
+turning pale.
+
+"No, indeed--why should I--I always go when I am asked--to be sure I
+can't make much figure at parties now, being in my seventy-fifth year.
+But Mrs. Howks and Mrs. Himes, and several others of my old friends,
+always invite me to their daughters' parties, along with Mary; and I
+like to sit there and look about me, and see people's new ways. Mary had
+a party herself last winter, and it went off very well, only that both
+the children came out that night with the measles; and one of the lamps
+leaked, and the oil ran all over the side-board and streamed down on the
+carpet; and, it being the first time we ever had ice-cream in the house,
+Peter, the stupid black boy, not only brought saucers to eat it in, but
+cups and saucers both."
+
+The old lady was now hurried up stairs, and she showed much
+dissatisfaction on being told that as the damp parlours would certainly
+give her her death, there was no alternative but for her to remain all
+the evening in the chamber allotted to her. This chamber (the best
+furnished in the house) was also to be 'the ladies' room,' and Albina
+somewhat consoled Mrs. Quimby by telling her that as the ladies would
+come up there to take off their hoods and arrange their hair, she would
+have an opportunity of seeing them all before they went down stairs. And
+Mrs. Marsden promised to give orders that a portion of all the
+refreshments should be carried up to her, and that Miss Matson, the
+mantua-maker, should sit with her a great part of the evening.
+
+It was now time for Albina and her mother to commence dressing, but Mrs.
+Marsden went down stairs again with 'more last words' to the servants,
+and Albina to make some change in the arrangement of the centre-table.
+
+She was in a loose gown, her curls were pinned up, and to keep them
+close and safe, she had tied over her head an old gauze handkerchief.
+While bending over the centre-table, and marking with rose-leaves some
+of the most beautiful of Mrs. Hemans' poems, and opening two or three
+souvenirs at their finest plates, a knock was suddenly heard at the
+door, which proved to be the baker with the second plum-cake, it having
+been consigned to _his_ oven. Albina desired him to bring it to her, and
+putting it on the silver waiter, she determined to divide it herself
+into slices, being afraid to trust that business to any one else, lest
+it should be awkwardly cut, or broken to pieces; it being quite warm.
+
+The baker went out, leaving the front door open, and Albina, intent on
+her task of cutting the cake, did not look up till she heard the sound
+of footsteps in the parlour; and then what was her dismay on perceiving
+Mr. and Mrs. Montague and their daughter.
+
+Albina's first impulse was to run away, but she saw that it was now too
+late; and, pale with confusion and vexation, she tried to summon
+sufficient self-command to enable her to pass off this _contre-tems_
+with something like address.
+
+It was not yet dusk, the sun being scarcely down, and of all the persons
+invited to the party, it was natural to suppose that the English family
+would have come the latest.
+
+Mr. Montague was a long-bodied short-legged man, with round gray eyes,
+that looked as if they had been put on the outside of his face, the
+sockets having no apparent concavity: a sort of eye that is rarely seen
+in an American. He had a long nose and a large heavy mouth with
+projecting under-teeth, and altogether an unusual quantity of face;
+which face was bordered round with whiskers, that began at his eyes and
+met under his chin, and resembled in texture the coarse wiry fur of a
+black bear. He kept his hat under his arm, and his whole dress seemed as
+if modelled from one of the caricature prints of a London dandy.
+
+Mrs. Montague (evidently some years older than her husband) was a
+gigantic woman, with features that looked as if seen through a
+magnifying glass. She wore heavy piles of yellowish curls, and a crimson
+velvet tocque. Her daughter was a tall hard-faced girl of seventeen,
+meant for a child by her parents, but not meaning herself as such. She
+was dressed in a white muslin frock and trowsers, and had a mass of
+black hair curling on her neck and shoulders.
+
+They all fixed their large eyes directly upon Albina, and it was no
+wonder that she quailed beneath their glance, or rather their stare,
+particularly when Mrs. Montague surveyed her through her eye-glass. Mr.
+Montague spoke first. "Your note did not specify the hour--Miss--Miss
+Martin," said he, "and as you Americans are early people, we thought we
+were complying with the simplicity of republican manners by coming
+before dark. We suppose that in general you adhere to the primitive
+maxim of 'early to bed and early to rise.' I forget the remainder of the
+rhyme, but _you_ know it undoubtedly."
+
+Albina at that moment wished for the presence of Bromley Cheston. She
+saw from the significant looks that passed between the Montagues, that
+the unseasonable earliness of this visit did not arise from their
+ignorance of the customs of American society, but from premeditated
+impertinence. And she regretted still more having invited them, when Mr.
+Montague with impudent familiarity walked up to the cake (which she had
+nicely cut into slices without altering its form) and took one of them
+out.--"Miss Martin," said he, "your cake looks so inviting that I cannot
+refrain from helping myself to a piece. Mrs. Montague, give me leave to
+present one to you. Miss Montague, will you try a slice?"
+
+They sat down on the sofa, each with a piece of cake, and Albina saw
+that they could scarcely refrain from laughing openly, not only at her
+dishabille, but at her disconcerted countenance.
+
+Just at this moment, Drusa appeared at the door, and called out, "Miss
+Albinar, the presarved squinches are all working. Missus found 'em so
+when she opened the jar." Albina could bear no more, but hastily
+darting out of the room, she ran up stairs almost crying with vexation.
+
+Old Mrs. Quimby was loud in her invectives against Mr. Montague for
+spoiling the symmetry of the cake, and helping himself and his family so
+unceremoniously. "You may rely upon it," said she, "a man that will do
+such a thing in a strange house is no gentleman."
+
+"On the contrary," observed Mrs. Marsden, "I have no doubt that in
+England these free and easy proceedings are high ton. Albina, have not
+you read some such things in Vivian Grey?"
+
+"I do not believe," said Mrs. Quimby, "that if this Englishman was in
+his own country, he would dare to go and take other people's cake
+without leave or license. But he thinks any sort of behaviour good
+enough for the Yankees, as they call us."
+
+"I care not for the cake," said Albina, "although the pieces must now be
+put into baskets; I only think of the Montagues walking in without
+knocking, and catching me in complete dishabille: after I had kept poor
+Bromley Cheston waiting half an hour this morning rather than he should
+see me in my pink gingham gown and with my hair in pins."
+
+"As sure as sixpence," remarked Mrs. Quimby, "this last shame has come
+upon you as a punishment for your pride to your own cousin."
+
+Mrs. Marsden having gone into the adjoining room to dress, Albina
+remained in this, and placed herself before the glass for the same
+purpose. "Heigho!" said she, "how pale and jaded I look! What a
+fatiguing day I have had! I have been on my feet since five o'clock this
+morning, and I feel now more fit to go to bed than to add to my
+weariness by the task of dressing, and then playing the agreeable for
+four or five hours. I begin to think that parties (at least such parties
+as are now in vogue) should only be given by persons who have large
+houses, large purses, conveniences of every description, and servants
+enough to do all that is necessary."
+
+"Albina is talking quite sensibly," said Aunt Quimby to Mrs. Marsden,
+who came in to see if her daughter required her assistance in dressing.
+
+"Pho!" said Mrs. Marsden, "think of the eclat of giving a party to Mrs.
+Washington Potts, and of having the Montagues among the guests! We shall
+find the advantage of it when we visit the city again."
+
+"Albina," said Aunt Quimby, "now we are about dressing, just quit for a
+few moments and help me on with my long stays and my new black silk
+gown, and let me have the glass awhile; I am going to wear my lace cap
+with the white satin riband. This dark calico gown and plain muslin cap
+won't do at all to sit here in, before all the ladies that are coming
+up."
+
+"Oh! no matter," replied Albina, who was unwilling to relinquish the
+glass or to occupy any of her time by assisting her aunt in dressing
+(which was always a troublesome and tedious business with the old lady);
+and her mother had now gone down to be ready for the reception of the
+company, and to pay her compliments to the Montagues. "Oh! no matter,"
+said Albina, "your present dress looks perfectly well; and the ladies
+will be too much engaged with themselves and their own dresses, to
+remark anything else. No one will observe whether your gown is calico or
+silk, and whether your cap is muslin or lace. Elderly ladies are always
+privileged to wear what is most convenient to them."
+
+Albina put on the new dress that the mantua-maker had made for her. When
+she tried it on the preceding evening Miss Matson declared that "it
+fitted like wax." She now found that it was scarcely possible to get it
+on at all, and that one side of the forebody was larger than the other.
+Miss Matson was called up, and by dint of the pulling, stretching, and
+smoothing well known to mantua-makers, and still more by means of her
+pertinacious assurances that the dress had no fault whatever, Albina was
+obliged to acknowledge that she _could_ wear it, and the redundancy of
+the large side was pinned down and pinned over. In sticking in her comb
+she broke it in half, and it was long before she could arrange her hair
+to her satisfaction without it. Before she had completed her toilette,
+several of the ladies arrived and came into the room; and Albina was
+obliged to snatch up her paraphernalia, and make her escape into the
+next apartment.
+
+At last she was dressed--she went down stairs. The company arrived fast,
+and the party began.
+
+Bromley Cheston had come early to assist in doing the honours, and as he
+led Albina to a seat, he saw that, in spite of her smiles, she looked
+weary and out of spirits; and he pitied her. "After all," thought he,
+"there is much that is interesting about Albina Marsden."
+
+The party was _very_ select, consisting of the elite of the village and
+its neighbourhood; but still, as is often the case, those whose presence
+was most desirable had sent excuses, and those who were not wanted had
+taken care to come. And Miss Boreham (a young lady who, having nothing
+else to recommend her, had been invited solely on account of the usual
+elegance of her attire, and whose dress was expected to add prodigiously
+to the effect of the rooms), came most unaccountably in an old faded
+frock of last year's fashion, with her hair quite plain, and tucked
+behind her ears with two side-combs. Could she have had a suspicion of
+the reason for which she was generally invited, and have therefore
+perversely determined on a reaction?
+
+The Montagues sat together in a corner, putting up their eye-glasses at
+every one that entered the room, and criticising the company in loud
+whispers to each other; poor Mrs. Marsden endeavouring to catch
+opportunities of paying her court to them.
+
+About nine o'clock, appeared an immense cap of blond lace, gauze riband,
+and flowers; and under the cap was Mrs. Washington Potts, a little,
+thin, trifling-looking woman with a whitish freckled face, small sharp
+features, and flaxen hair. She leaned on the arm of Mr. Washington
+Potts, who was nothing in company or anywhere else; and she led by the
+hand a little boy in a suit of scarlet, braided and frogged with blue: a
+pale rat-looking child, whose name she pronounced Laughy-yet, meaning La
+Fayette; and who being the youngest scion of the house of Potts, always
+went to parties with his mother, because he would not stay at home.
+
+Bromley Cheston, on being introduced to Mrs. Washington Potts, was
+surprised at the insignificance of her figure and face. He had imagined
+her tall in stature, large in feature, loud in voice, and in short the
+very counterpart to Mrs. Montague. He found her, however, as he had
+supposed, replete with vanity, pride, ignorance, and folly: to which she
+added a sickening affectation of sweetness and amiability, and a flimsy
+pretension to extraordinary powers of conversation, founded on a
+confused assemblage of incorrect and superficial ideas, which she
+mistook for a general knowledge of everything in the world.
+
+Mrs. Potts was delighted with the handsome face and figure, and the very
+genteel appearance of the young lieutenant, and she bestowed upon him a
+large portion of her talk.
+
+"I hear, sir," said she, "you have been in the Mediterranean Sea. A
+sweet pretty place, is it not?"
+
+"Its shores," replied Cheston, "are certainly very beautiful."
+
+"Yes, I should admire its chalky cliffs vastly," resumed Mrs. Potts;
+"they are quite poetical, you know. Pray, sir, which do you prefer,
+Byron or Bonaparte? I dote upon Byron; and considering what sweet verses
+he wrote, 'tis a pity he was a corsair, and a vampyre pirate, and all
+such horrid things. As for Bonaparte, I never could endure him after I
+found that he had cut off poor old King George's head. Now, when we talk
+of great men, my husband is altogether for Washington. I laugh, and tell
+Mr. Potts it's because he and Washington are namesakes. How do you like
+La Fayette?"--(pronouncing the name a la canaille).
+
+"The man, or the name?" inquired Cheston.
+
+"Oh! both to be sure. You see we have called our youngest blossom after
+him. Come here, La Fayette, stand forward, my dear; hold up your head,
+and make a bow to the gentleman."
+
+"I won't," screamed La Fayette. "I'll never make a bow when you tell
+me."
+
+"Something of the spirit of his ancestors," said Mrs. Potts, affectedly
+smiling to Cheston, and patting the urchin on the head.
+
+"His ancestors!" thought Cheston. "Who could they possibly have been?"
+
+"Perhaps the dear fellow may be a little, a very little spoiled,"
+pursued Mrs. Potts. "But to make a comparison in the marine line (quite
+in your way, you know), it is as natural for a mother's heart to turn to
+her youngest darling, as it is for the needle to point out the
+longitude. Now we talk of longitude, have you read Cooper's last novel,
+by the author of the Spy? It's a sweet book--Cooper is one of my pets. I
+saw him in dear, delightful Paris. Are you musical, Mr. Cheston?--But of
+course you are. Our whole aristocracy is musical now. How do you like
+Paganini? You must have heard him in Europe. It's a very expensive thing
+to hear Paganini.--Poor man! he is quite ghastly with his own playing.
+Well, as you have been in the Mediterranean, which do you prefer, the
+Greeks or the Poles?"
+
+"The Poles, decidedly," answered Cheston, "from what I have heard of
+_them_, and seen of the Greeks."
+
+"Well, for my part," resumed Mrs. Potts, "I confess I like the Greeks,
+as I have always been rather classical. They are so Grecian. Think of
+their beautiful statues and paintings by Rubens and Reynolds. Are you
+fond of paintings? At my house in the city, I can show you some very
+fine ones."
+
+"By what artists?" asked Cheston.
+
+"Oh! by my daughter Harriet. She did them at drawing-school with
+theorems. They are beautiful flower-pieces, all framed and hung up; they
+are almost worthy of Sir Benjamin West."[2]
+
+[Footnote 2: The author takes this occasion to remark, that the
+illustrious artist to whom so many of his countrymen erroneously give
+the title of Sir Benjamin West, never in reality had the compliment of
+knighthood conferred on him. He lived and died _Mr._ West, as is well
+known to all who have any acquaintance with pictures and painters.]
+
+In this manner Mrs. Potts ran on till the entrance of tea, and Cheston
+took that opportunity of escaping from her; while she imagined him
+deeply imbued with admiration of her fluency, vivacity, and variety of
+information. But in reality, he was thinking of the strange depravity of
+taste that is sometimes found even in intelligent minds; for in no other
+way could he account for Albina's predilection for Mrs. Washington
+Potts. "And yet," thought he, "is a young and inexperienced girl more
+blameable for her blindness in friendship (or what she imagines to be
+friendship), than an acute, sensible, talented man for his blindness in
+love? The master-spirits of the earth have almost proverbially married
+women of weak intellect, and almost as proverbially the children of such
+marriages resemble the mother rather than the father. A just punishment
+for choosing so absurdly. Albina, I must know you better."
+
+The party went on, much as parties generally do where there are four or
+five guests that are supposed to rank all the others. The patricians
+evidently despised the plebeians, and the plebeians were offended at
+being despised; for in no American assemblage is any real inferiority of
+rank ever felt or acknowledged. There was a general dullness, and a
+general restraint. Little was done, and little was said. La Fayette
+wandered about in everybody's way; having been kept wide awake all the
+evening by two cups of strong coffee, which his mother allowed him to
+take because he would have them.
+
+There was always a group round the centre-table, listlessly turning
+over the souvenirs, albums, &c., and picking at the flowers; and La
+Fayette ate plum-cake over Cheston's beautiful drawings.
+
+Albina played an Italian song extremely well, but the Montagues
+exchanged glances at her music; and Mrs. Potts, to follow suit, hid her
+face behind her fan and simpered; though in truth she did not in reality
+know Italian from French, or a semibreve from a semiquaver. All this was
+a great annoyance to Cheston. At Albina's request, he led Miss Montague
+to the piano. She ran her fingers over the instrument as if to try it;
+gave a shudder, and declared it most shockingly out of tune, and then
+rose in horror from the music stool. This much surprised Mrs. Marsden,
+as a musician had been brought from the city only the day before for the
+express purpose of tuning this very instrument.
+
+"No," whispered Miss Montague, as she resumed her seat beside her
+mother, "I will not condescend to play before people who are incapable
+of understanding my style."
+
+At this juncture (to the great consternation of Mrs. Marsden and her
+daughter) who should make her appearance but Aunt Quimby in the calico
+gown which Albina now regretted having persuaded her to keep on. The old
+lady was wrapped in a small shawl and two large ones, and her head was
+secured from cold by a black silk handkerchief tied over her cap and
+under her chin. She smiled and nodded all round to the company, and
+said--"How do you do, good people; I hope you are all enjoying
+yourselves. I thought I _must_ come down and have a peep at you. For
+after I had seen all the ladies take off their hoods, and had my tea, I
+found it pretty dull work sitting up stairs with the mantua-maker, who
+had no more manners than to fall asleep while I was talking."
+
+Mrs. Marsden, much discomfited, led Aunt Quimby to a chair between two
+matrons who were among "the unavoidably invited," and whose pretensions
+to refinement were not very palpable. But the old lady had no idea of
+remaining stationary all the evening between Mrs. Johnson and Mrs.
+Jackson. She wisely thought "she could see more of the party," if she
+frequently changed her place, and being of what is called a sociable
+disposition, she never hesitated to talk to any one that was near her,
+however high or however low.
+
+"Dear mother," said Albina in an under-voice, "what can be the reason
+that every one, in tasting the ice-cream, immediately sets it aside as
+if it was not fit to eat? I am sure there is everything in it that ought
+to be."
+
+"And something more than ought to be," replied Mrs. Marsden, after
+trying a spoonful--"the salt that was laid round the freezer has got
+into the cream (I suppose by Dixon's carelessness), and it is _not_ fit
+to eat."
+
+"And now," said Albina, starting, "I will show you a far worse
+mortification than the failure of the ice-cream. Only look--there sits
+Aunt Quimby between Mr. Montague and Mrs. Washington Potts."
+
+"How in the world did she get there?" exclaimed Mrs. Marsden. "I dare
+say she walked up, and asked them to make room for her between them.
+There is nothing now to be done but to pass her off as well as we can,
+and to make the best of her. I will manage to get as near as possible,
+that I may hear what she is talking about, and take an opportunity of
+persuading her away."
+
+As Mrs. Marsden approached within hearing distance, Mr. Montague was
+leaning across Aunt Quimby, and giving Mrs. Potts an account of
+something that had been said or done during a splendid entertainment at
+Devonshire House.--"Just at that moment," said he, "I was lounging into
+the room with Lady Augusta Fitzhenry on my arm (unquestionably the
+finest woman in England), and Mrs. Montague was a few steps in advance,
+leaning on my friend the Marquis of Elvington."
+
+"Pray, sir," said Mrs. Quimby, "as you are from England, do you know
+anything of Betsey Dempsey's husband?"
+
+"I have not the honour of being acquainted with that person," replied
+Mr. Montague, after a withering stare.
+
+"Well, that's strange," pursued Aunt Quimby, "considering that he has
+been living in London at least eighteen years--or perhaps it is only
+seventeen. And yet I think it must be near eighteen, if not quite. Maybe
+seventeen and a half. Well it's best to be on the safe side, so I'll say
+seventeen. Betsey Dempsey's mother was an old school-mate of mine. Her
+father kept the Black Horse tavern. She was the only acquaintance I ever
+had that married an Englishman. He was a grocer, and in very good
+business; but he never liked America, and was always finding fault with
+it, and so he went home, and was to send for Betsey. But he never sent
+for her at all; and for a very good reason; which was that he had
+another wife in England, as most of them have--no disparagement to you,
+sir."
+
+Mrs. Marsden now came up, and informed Mrs. Potts in a whisper, that the
+good old lady beside her, was a distant relation or rather connexion of
+_Mr._ Marsden's, and that, though a little primitive in appearance and
+manner, she had considerable property in bank-stock. To Mrs. Marsden's
+proposal that she should exchange her seat for a very pleasant one in
+the other room next to her old friend, Mrs. Willis, Aunt Quimby replied
+nothing but "Thank you, I'm doing very well here."
+
+Mrs. and Miss Montague, apparently heeding no one else, had talked
+nearly the whole evening to each other, but loudly enough to be heard by
+all around them. The young lady, though dressed as a child, talked like
+a woman, and she and her mother were now engaged in an argument whether
+the flirtation of the Duke of Risingham with Lady Georgiana Melbury
+would end seriously or not.
+
+"To my certain knowledge," said Miss Montague, "his Grace has never yet
+declared himself to Lady Georgiana, or to any one else."
+
+"I'll lay you two to one," said Mrs. Montague, "that he is married to
+her before we return to England."
+
+"No," replied the daughter, "like all others of his sex he delights in
+keeping the ladies in suspense."
+
+"What you say, miss, is very true," said Aunt Quimby, leaning in her
+turn across Mr. Montague, "and, considering how young you are, you talk
+very sensibly. Men certainly have a way of keeping women in suspense,
+and an unwillingness to answer questions, even when we ask them. There's
+my son-in-law, Billy Fairfowl, that I live with. He married my daughter
+Mary, eleven years ago the 23d of last April. He's as good a man as ever
+breathed, and an excellent provider too. He always goes to market
+himself; and sometimes I can't help blaming him a little for his
+extravagance. But his greatest fault is his being so unsatisfactory. As
+far back as last March, as I was sitting at my knitting in the little
+front parlour with the door open (for it was quite warm weather for the
+time of the year), Billy Fairfowl came home, carrying in his hand a good
+sized shad; and I called out to him to ask what he gave for it, for it
+was the very beginning of the shad season; but he made not a word of
+answer; he just passed on, and left the shad in the kitchen, and then
+went to his store. At dinner we had the fish, and a very nice one it
+was; and I asked him again how much he gave for it, but he still
+avoided answering, and began to talk of something else; so I thought I'd
+let it rest awhile. A week or two after, I again asked him; so then he
+actually said he had forgotten all about it. And to this day I don't
+know the price of that shad."
+
+The Montagues looked at each other--almost laughed aloud, and drew back
+their chairs as far from Aunt Quimby as possible. So also did Mrs.
+Potts. Mrs. Marsden came up in an agony of vexation, and reminded her
+aunt in a low voice of the risk of renewing her rheumatism by staying so
+long between the damp, newly-papered walls. The old lady answered
+aloud--"Oh! you need not fear, I am well wrapped up on purpose. And
+indeed, considering that the parlours were only papered to-day, I think
+the walls have dried wonderfully (putting her hand on the paper)--I am
+sure nobody could find out the damp if they were not told."
+
+"What!" exclaimed the Montagues; "only papered to-day--(starting up and
+testifying all that prudent fear of taking cold, so characteristic of
+the English). How barbarous to inveigle us into such a place!"
+
+"I thought I felt strangely chilly all the evening," said Mrs. Potts,
+whose fan had scarcely been at rest five minutes.
+
+The Montagues proposed going away immediately, and Mrs. Potts declared
+she was _most_ apprehensive for poor little La Fayette. Mrs. Marsden,
+who could not endure the idea of their departing till all the
+refreshments had been handed round (the best being yet to come), took
+great pains to persuade them that there was no real cause of alarm, as
+she had had large fires all the afternoon. They held a whispered
+consultation, in which they agreed to stay for the oysters and chicken
+salad, and Mrs. Marsden went out to send them their shawls, with one for
+La Fayette.
+
+By this time the secret of the newly-papered walls had spread round both
+rooms; the conversation now turned entirely on colds and rheumatisms;
+there was much shivering and considerable coughing, and the demand for
+shawls increased. However, nobody actually went home in consequence.
+
+"Papa," said Miss Montague, "let us all take French leave as soon as the
+oysters and chicken salad have gone round."
+
+Albina now came up to Aunt Quimby (gladly perceiving that the old lady
+looked tired), and proposed that she should return to her chamber,
+assuring her that the waiters should be punctually sent up to her--"I do
+not feel quite ready to go yet," replied Mrs. Quimby. "I am very well
+here. But you need not mind _me_. Go back to your company, and talk a
+little to those three poor girls in the yellow frocks that nobody has
+spoken to yet, except Bromley Cheston. When I am ready to go I shall
+take French leave, as these English people call it."
+
+But Aunt Quimby's idea of French leave was very different from the usual
+acceptation of the term; for having always heard that the French were a
+very polite people, she concluded that their manner of taking leave must
+be particularly respectful and ceremonious. Therefore, having paid her
+parting compliments to Mrs. Potts and the Montagues, she walked all
+round the room, curtsying to every body and shaking hands, and telling
+them she had come to take French leave. To put an end to this ridiculous
+scene, Bromley Cheston (who had been on assiduous duty all the evening)
+now came forward, and, taking the old lady's arm in his, offered to
+escort her up stairs. Aunt Quimby was much flattered by this unexpected
+civility from the finest-looking young man in the room, and she
+smilingly departed with him, complimenting him on his politeness, and
+assuring him that he was a real gentleman; trying also to make out the
+degree of relationship that existed between them.
+
+"So much for Buckingham!" said Cheston, as he ran down stairs after
+depositing the old lady at the door of her room. "Fools of all ranks and
+of all ages are to me equally intolerable. I never can marry into such a
+family."
+
+The party went on.
+
+"In the name of heaven, Mrs. Potts," said Mrs. Montague, "what induces
+you to patronize these people?"
+
+"Why they are the only tolerable persons in the neighbourhood," answered
+Mrs. Potts, "and very kind and obliging in their way. I really think
+Albina a very sweet girl, very sweet indeed: and Mrs. Marsden is rather
+amiable too, quite amiable. And they are so grateful for any little
+notice I take of them, that it is really quite affecting. Poor things!
+how much trouble they have given themselves in getting up this party.
+They look as if they had had a hard day's work; and I have no doubt they
+will be obliged, in consequence, to pinch them for months to come; for I
+can assure you their means are very small--very small indeed. As to this
+intolerable old aunt, I never saw her before; and as there is something
+rather genteel about Mrs. Marsden and her daughter--rather so at least
+about Albina--I did not suppose they had any such relations belonging to
+them. I think, in future I must confine myself entirely to the
+aristocracy."
+
+"We deliberated to the last moment," said Mrs. Montague, "whether we
+should come. But as Mr. Montague is going to write his tour when we
+return to England, he thinks it expedient to make some sacrifices, for
+the sake of seeing the varieties of American society."
+
+"Oh! these people are not in society!" exclaimed Mrs. Potts eagerly. "I
+can assure you these Marsdens have not the slightest pretensions to
+society. Oh! no--I beg you not to suppose that Mrs. Marsden and her
+daughter are at all in society!"
+
+This conversation was overheard by Bromley Cheston, and it gave him more
+pain than he was willing to acknowledge, even to himself.
+
+At length all the refreshments had gone their rounds, and the Montagues
+had taken real French leave; but Mrs. Washington Potts preferred a
+conspicuous departure, and therefore made her adieux with a view of
+producing great effect. This was the signal for the company to break up,
+and Mrs. Marsden gladly smiled them out; while Albina could have said
+with Gray's Prophetess--
+
+    "Now my weary lips I close,
+    Leave me, leave me to repose."
+
+But, according to Mrs. Marsden, the worst of all was the poet, the
+professedly eccentric Bewley Garvin Gandy, author of the World of
+Sorrow, Elegy on a Broken Heart, Lines on a Suppressed Sigh, Sonnet to a
+Hidden Tear, Stanzas to Faded Hopes, &c. &c., and who was just now
+engaged in a tale called "The Bewildered," and an Ode to the Waning
+Moon, which set him to wandering about the country, and "kept him out
+o'nights." The poet, not being a man of this world, did not make his
+appearance at the party till the moment of the bustle occasioned by the
+exit of Mrs. Washington Potts. He then darted suddenly into the room,
+and looked wild.
+
+We will not insinuate that he bore any resemblance to Sandy Clark. He
+certainly wore no chapeau, and his coat was not in the least a la
+militaire, for it was a dusky brown frock. His collar was open, in the
+fashion attributed to Byron, and much affected by scribblers who are
+incapable of imitating the noble bard in anything but his follies. His
+hair looked as if he had just been tearing it, and his eyes seemed "in
+a fine frenzy rolling." He was on his return from one of his moonlight
+rambles on the banks of the river, and his pantaloons and coat-skirt
+showed evident marks of having been deep among the cat-tails and
+splatter-docks that grew in the mud on its margin.
+
+Being a man that took no note of time, he wandered into Mrs. Marsden's
+house between eleven and twelve o'clock, and remained an hour after the
+company had gone; reclining at full length on a sofa, and discussing
+Barry Cornwall and Percy Bysshe Shelley, L. E. L. and Mrs. Cornwall
+Baron Wilson. After which he gradually became classical, and poured into
+the sleepy ears of Mrs. Marsden and Albina a parallel between Tibullus
+and Propertius, a dissertation on Alcaeus, and another on Menander.
+
+Bromley Cheston, who had been escorting home two sets of young ladies
+that lived "far as the poles asunder," passed Mrs. Marsden's house on
+returning to his hotel, and seeing the lights still gleaming, he went in
+to see what was the matter, and kindly relieved his aunt and cousin by
+reminding the poet of the lateness of the hour, and "fairly carrying him
+off."
+
+Aunt Quimby had long since been asleep. But before Mrs. Marsden and
+Albina could forget themselves in "tired nature's sweet restorer," they
+lay awake for an hour, discussing the fatigues and vexations of the day,
+and the mortifications of the evening. "After all," said Albina, "this
+party has cost us five times as much as it is worth, both in trouble and
+expense, and I really cannot tell what pleasure we have derived from
+it."
+
+"No one expects pleasure at their own party," replied Mrs. Marsden. "But
+you may depend on it, this little compliment to Mrs. Washington Potts
+will prove highly advantageous to us hereafter. And then it is
+_something_ to be the only family in the neighbourhood that could
+presume to do such a thing."
+
+Next morning, Bromley Cheston received a letter which required his
+immediate presence in New York on business of importance. When he went
+to take leave of his aunt and cousin, he found them busily engaged in
+clearing away and putting in order; a task which is nearly equal to that
+of making the preparations for a party. They looked pale and
+spiritless, and Mrs. Washington Potts had just sent her three boys to
+spend the day with them.
+
+When Cheston took Albina's hand at parting, he felt it tremble, and her
+eyes looked as if they were filling with tears. "After all," thought he,
+"she is a charming girl, and has both sense and sensibility."
+
+"I am very nervous to-day," said Albina, "the party has been too much
+for me; and I have in prospect for to-morrow the pain of taking leave of
+Mrs. Washington Potts, who returns with all her family to Philadelphia."
+
+"Strange infatuation!" thought Cheston, as he dropped Albina's hand, and
+made his parting bow. "I must see more of this girl, before I can
+resolve to trust my happiness to her keeping; I cannot share her heart
+with Mrs. Washington Potts. When I return from New York, I will talk to
+her seriously about that ridiculous woman, and I will also remonstrate
+with her mother on the folly of straining every nerve in the pursuit of
+what she calls a certain style."
+
+In the afternoon, Mrs. Potts did Albina the honour to send for her to
+assist in the preparations for to-morrow's removal to town; and in the
+evening, the three boys were all taken home sick, in consequence of
+having laid violent hands on the fragments of the feast: which fragments
+they had continued during the day to devour almost without intermission.
+Also Randolph had thrown Jefferson down stairs, and raised two green
+bumps on his forehead, and Jefferson had pinched La Fayette's fingers in
+the door till the blood came; not to mention various minor squabbles and
+hurts.
+
+At parting, Mrs. Potts went so far as to kiss Albina, and made her
+promise to let her know immediately, whenever she or her mother came to
+the city.
+
+In about two weeks, Aunt Quimby finished her visitation: and the day
+after her departure, Mrs. Marsden and Albina went to town to make their
+purchases for the season, and also with a view towards a party, which
+they knew Mrs. Potts had in contemplation. This time they did not, as
+usual, stay with their relations, but they took lodgings at a
+fashionable boarding-house, where they could receive their "great
+woman," _comme il faut_.
+
+On the morning after their arrival, Mrs. Marsden and her daughter, in
+their most costly dresses, went to visit Mrs. Potts, that she might be
+apprised of their arrival; and they found her in a spacious house,
+expensively and ostentatiously furnished.
+
+After they had waited till even _their_ patience was nearly exhausted,
+Mrs. Potts came down stairs to them, but there was evidently a great
+abatement in her affability. She seemed uneasy, looked frequently
+towards the door, got up several times and went to the window, and
+appeared fidgety when the bell rung. At last there came in two very
+flaunting ladies, whom Mrs. Potts received as if she considered them
+people of consequence. They were not introduced to the Marsdens, who,
+after the entrance of these new visitors, sat awhile in the pitiable
+situation of ciphers, and then took their leave. "Strange," said Mrs.
+Marsden, "that she did not say a word of her party."
+
+Three days after their visit, Mrs. Washington Potts left cards for Mrs.
+and Miss Marsden, without inquiring if they were at home. And they heard
+from report that her party was fixed for the week after next, and that
+it was expected to be very splendid, as it was to introduce her
+daughter, who had just quitted boarding-school. The Marsdens had seen
+this young lady, who had spent the August holidays with her parents. She
+was as silly as her mother, and as dull as her father, in the eyes of
+all who were not blindly determined to think her otherwise, or who did
+not consider it particularly expedient to uphold every one of the name
+of Potts.
+
+At length they heard that the invitations were going out for Mrs.
+Potts's party, and that though very large, it was not to be general;
+which meant that only one or two of the members were to be selected from
+each family with whom Mrs. Potts thought proper to acknowledge an
+acquaintance. From this moment Mrs. Marsden, who at the best of times
+had never really been treated with much respect by Mrs. Potts, gave up
+all hope of an invitation for herself; but she counted certainly on one
+for Albina, and every ring at the door was expected to bring it. There
+were many rings, but no invitation; and poor Albina and her mother took
+turns in watching at the window.
+
+At last Bogle[3] was seen to come up the steps with a handful of notes;
+and Albina, regardless of all rule, ran to the front-door herself. They
+were cards for a party, but not Mrs. Potts's, and were intended for two
+other ladies that lodged in the house.
+
+[Footnote 3: A celebrated coloured waiter in Philadelphia.]
+
+Every time that Albina went out and came home, she inquired anxiously
+of all the servants if no note had been left for her. Still there was
+none. And her mother still insisted that the note _must_ have come, but
+had been mislaid afterwards, or that Bogle had lost it in the street.
+
+Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday passed over, and still no
+invitation. Mrs. Marsden talked much of the carelessness of servants,
+and had no doubt of the habitual negligence of Messrs. Bogle, Shepherd,
+and other "fashionable party-men." Albina was almost sick with "hope
+deferred." At last, when she came home on Monday morning from Second
+street, her mother met her at the door with a delighted face, and showed
+her the long-desired note, which had just been brought by Mrs. Potts's
+own man. The party was to take place in two days: and so great was now
+Albina's happiness, that she scarcely felt the fatigue of searching the
+shops for articles of attire that were very elegant, and yet not _too_
+expensive; and shopping with a limited purse is certainly no trifling
+exercise both of mind and body; so also is the task of going round among
+fashionable mantua-makers, in the hope of coaxing one of them to
+undertake a dress at a short notice.
+
+Next morning, Mrs. Potts sent for Albina immediately after breakfast,
+and told her that as she knew her to be very clever at all sorts of
+things, she wanted her to stay that day and assist in the preparations
+for the next. Mrs. Potts, like many other people who live in showy
+houses and dress extravagantly, was very economical in servants. She
+gave such low wages, that none would come to her who could get places
+anywhere else, and she kept them on such limited allowance that none
+would stay with her who were worth having.
+
+Fools are seldom consistent in their expenditure. They generally (to use
+a homely expression) strain at gnats and swallow camels.
+
+About noon, Albina having occasion to consult Mrs. Potts concerning
+something that was to be done, found her in the front parlour with Mrs.
+and Miss Montague. After Albina had left the room, Mrs. Montague said to
+Mrs. Potts--"Is not that the girl who lives with her mother at the place
+on the river, I forget what you call it--I mean the niece of the aunt?"
+
+"That is Albina Marsden," replied Mrs. Potts.
+
+"Yes," pursued Mrs. Montague, "the people that made so great an exertion
+to give you a sort of party, and honoured Mr. and Miss Montague and
+myself with invitations."
+
+"She's not to be here to-morrow night, I hope!" exclaimed Miss Montague.
+
+"Really," replied Mrs. Potts, "I could do no less than ask her. The poor
+thing did her very best to be civil to us all last summer."
+
+"Oh!" said Mrs. Montague, "in the country one is willing sometimes to
+take up with such company as we should be very sorry to acknowledge in
+town. You assured me that your party to-morrow night would be extremely
+_recherche_. And as it is so early in the season you know that it is
+necessary to be more particular now than at the close of the campaign,
+when every one is tired of parties, and unwilling to get new evening
+dresses lest they should be out of fashion before they are wanted again.
+Excuse me, I speak only from what I have heard of American customs."
+
+"I am always particular about my parties," said Mrs. Potts.
+
+"A word in your ear," continued Mrs. Montague. "Is it not impolitic, or
+rather are you not afraid to bring forward so beautiful a girl as this
+Miss Martin on the very night of your own daughter's _debut_?"
+
+Mrs. Potts looked alarmed for a moment, and then recovering herself
+said--"I have no fear of Miss Harriet Angelina Potts being thrown in the
+shade by a little country girl like this. Albina Marsden is pretty
+enough, to be sure--at least, rather pretty--but then there is a certain
+style--a certain air which she of course--in short, a certain style--"
+
+"As to what you call a certain style," said Mrs. Montague, "I do not
+know exactly what you mean. If it signifies the air and manner of a
+lady, this Miss Martin has as much of it as any other American girl. To
+me they are all nearly alike. I cannot distinguish those minute shades
+of difference that you all make such a point of. In my unpractised eyes
+the daughters of your mechanics and shopkeepers look as well and behave
+as well as the daughters of your lawyers and doctors, for I find your
+nobility is chiefly made up of these two professions, with the addition
+of a few merchants; and you call every one a merchant that does not sell
+his commodities by the single yard or the single quart."
+
+"Mamma," whispered Miss Montague, "if that girl is to be here, I don't
+wish to come. I can't endure her."
+
+"Take my advice," continued Mrs. Montague to Mrs. Potts, "and put off
+this Miss Martin. If she was not so strikingly handsome, she might pass
+unnoticed in the crowd. But her beauty will attract general
+observation, and you will be obliged to tell exactly who she is, where
+you picked her up, and to give or to hear an account of her family and
+all her connexions; and from the specimen we have had in the old aunt, I
+doubt if they will bear a very minute scrutiny. So if she _is_ invited,
+endeavour to uninvite her."
+
+"I am sure I would willingly do that," replied Mrs. Potts, "but I can
+really think of no excuse."
+
+"Oh! send her a note to-morrow," answered Mrs. Montague, carelessly, and
+rising to depart, "anything or nothing, so that you only signify to her
+that she is not to come."
+
+All day Mrs. Potts was revolving in her mind the most feasible means of
+preventing Albina from appearing at her party; and her conscience smote
+her when she saw the unsuspecting girl so indefatigable in assisting
+with the preparations. Before Albina went home, Mrs. Potts had come to
+the conclusion to follow Mrs. Montague's advice, but she shrunk from the
+task of telling her so in person. She determined to send her next
+morning a concise note, politely requesting her not to come; and she
+intended afterwards to call on her and apologize, on the plea of her
+party being by no means general, but still so large that every inch of
+room was an object of importance; also that the selection consisted
+entirely of persons well known to each other and accustomed to meet in
+company, and that there was every reason to fear that her gentle and
+modest friend Albina would have been unable to enjoy herself among so
+many strangers, &c., &c. Those excuses, she knew, were very flimsy, but
+she trusted to Albina's good nature, and she thought she could smooth
+off all by inviting both her and her mother to a sociable tea.
+
+Next morning, Mrs. Potts, who was on no occasion very ready with her
+pen, considering that she professed to be _au fait_ to everything,
+employed near an hour in manufacturing the following note to Albina.
+
+"Mrs. Washington Potts' compliments to Miss Marsden, and she regrets
+being under the necessity of dispensing with Miss M.'s company, to join
+the social circle at her mansion-house this evening. Mrs. W. P. will
+explain hereafter, hoping Mrs. and Miss M. are both well. Mr. W. P.
+requests his respects to both ladies, as well as Miss Potts, and their
+favourite little La Fayette desires his best love."
+
+This billet arrived while Albina had gone to her mantua-maker, to have
+her new dress fitted on for the last time. Her mother opened the note
+and read it; a liberty which no parent should take with the
+correspondence of a grown-up daughter. Mrs. Marsden was shocked at its
+contents, and at a loss to guess the motive of so strange an
+interdiction. At first her only emotion was resentment against Mrs.
+Potts. Then she thought of the disappointment and mortification of poor
+Albina, whom she pictured to herself passing a forlorn evening at home,
+perhaps crying in her own room. Next, she recollected the elegant new
+dress in which Albina would have looked so beautifully, and which would
+now be useless.
+
+"Oh!" soliloquized Mrs. Marsden, "what a pity this unaccountable note
+was not dropped and lost in the street. But then, of course some one
+would have found and read it, and that would have been worse than all.
+How could Mrs. Potts be guilty of such abominable rudeness, as to desire
+poor Albina not to come, after she had been invited? But great people
+think they may do anything. I wish the note had fallen into the fire
+before it came to my hands; then Albina would have known nothing of it;
+she would have gone to the party, looking more charmingly than ever she
+did in her life; and she would be seen there, and admired, and make new
+acquaintances, and Mrs. Potts could do no otherwise than behave to her
+politely in her own house. Nobody would know of this vile billet (which
+perhaps after all is only a joke), and Mrs. Potts would suppose, that of
+course Albina had not received it; besides, I have no doubt that Mrs.
+Potts will send for her to-morrow, and make a satisfactory explanation.
+But then, to-night; if Albina could but get there to-night. What harm
+can possible arrive from my not showing her the note till to-morrow? Why
+should the dear girl be deprived of all the pleasure she anticipated
+this evening? And even if she expected no enjoyment whatever, still how
+great will be the advantage of having her seen at Mrs. Washington
+Potts's select party; it will at once get her on in the world. Of course
+Mrs. Potts will conclude that the note had miscarried, and will treat
+her as if it had never been sent. I am really most strongly tempted to
+suppress it, and let Albina go."
+
+The more Mrs. Marsden thought of this project, the less objectionable it
+appeared to her. When she saw Albina come home, delighted with her new
+dress, which fitted her exactly, and when she heard her impatiently
+wishing that evening was come, this weak and ill-judging mother could
+not resolve (as she afterwards said) to dash all her pleasant
+anticipations to the ground, and demolish her castles in the air. "My
+daughter shall be happy to-night," thought she, "whatever may be the
+event of to-morrow." She hastily concealed the note, and kept her
+resolution of not mentioning it to Albina.
+
+Evening came, and Albina's beautiful hair was arranged and decorated by
+a fashionable French barber. She was dressed, and she looked charmingly.
+
+Albina knew that Mrs. Potts had sent an invitation to the United States
+Hotel for Lieutenant Cheston, who was daily expected, but had not yet
+returned from New York, and she regretted much that she could not go to
+the party under his escort. She knew no one else of the company, and she
+had no alternative but to send for a carriage, and proceeded thither by
+herself, after her mother had despatched repeated messages to the hotel
+to know if Mr. Cheston had yet arrived, for he was certainly expected
+back that evening.
+
+As Albina drove to the house, she felt all the terrors of diffidence
+coming upon her, and already repented that she had ventured on this
+enterprise alone. On arriving, she did not go into the ladies' room, but
+gave her hood and cloak at once to a servant, and tremulously requested
+another attendant to inform Mr. Potts that a lady wished to see him. Mr.
+Potts accordingly came out into the hall, and looked surprised at
+finding Albina there, for he had heard his wife and daughter talking of
+the note of interdiction. But concluding, as he often did, that it was
+in vain for him to try to comprehend the proceedings of women, he
+thought it best to say nothing.
+
+On Albina requesting him to accompany her on her entrance, he gave her
+his arm in silence, and with a very perplexed face escorted her into the
+principal room. As he led her up to his wife, his countenance gradually
+changed from perplexity to something like fright. Albina paid her
+compliments to Mrs. Potts, who received her with evident amazement, and
+without replying. Mrs. Montague, who sat next to the lady of the
+mansion, opened still wider her immense eyes, and then, "to make
+assurance doubly sure," applied her opera-glass. Miss Montague first
+stared and then laughed.
+
+Albina, much disconcerted, turned to look for a seat, Mr. Potts having
+withdrawn his arm. As she retired to the only vacant chair, she heard a
+half whisper running along the line of ladies, and though she could not
+distinguish the words so as to make any connected sense of them, she
+felt that they alluded to her.
+
+"Can I believe my eyes?" said Mrs. Potts.
+
+"The assurance of American girls is astonishing," said Mrs. Montague.
+
+"She was forbidden to come," said Miss Montague to a young lady beside
+her. "Mrs. Potts herself forbade her to come."
+
+"She was actually prohibited," resumed Mrs. Montague, leaning over to
+Mrs. Jones.
+
+"I sent her myself a note of prohibition," said Mrs. Potts, leaning over
+to Mrs. Smith. "I had serious objections to having her here."
+
+"I never saw such downright impudence," pursued Mrs. Montague. "This I
+suppose is one of the consequences of the liberty, and freedom and
+independence that you Americans are always talking about. I must tell
+Mr. Montague, for really this is too good to lose."
+
+And beckoning her husband to come to her--"My dear," said she, "put down
+in your memorandum-book, that when American married ladies invite young
+ladies to parties, they on second thoughts forbid them to come, and that
+the said American young ladies boldly persist in coming in spite of the
+forbiddance."
+
+And she then related to him the whole affair, at full length, and with
+numerous embellishments, looking all the time at poor Albina.
+
+The story was soon circulated round the room in whispers and murmurs,
+and no one had candour or kindness to suggest the possibility of Miss
+Marsden's having never received the note.
+
+Albina soon perceived herself to be an object of remark and
+animadversion, and she was sadly at a loss to divine the cause. The two
+ladies that were nearest to her, rose up and left their seats, while two
+others edged their chairs farther off. She knew no one, she was
+introduced to no one, but she saw that every one was looking at her as
+she sat by herself, alone, conspicuous, and abashed. Tea was waiting for
+a lady that came always last, and the whole company seemed to have
+leisure to gaze on poor Albina, and to whisper about her.
+
+Her situation now became intolerable. She felt that there was nothing
+left for her but to go home. Unluckily she had ordered the carriage at
+eleven o'clock. At last she resolved on making a great effort, and on
+plea of a violent headache (a plea which by this time was literally
+true) to ask Mrs. Potts if she would allow a servant to bring a coach
+for her.
+
+After several attempts, she rose for this purpose; but she saw at the
+same moment that all eyes were turned upon her. She tremblingly, and
+with downcast looks, advanced till she got into the middle of the room,
+and then all her courage deserted her at once, when she heard some one
+say, "I wonder what she is going to do next."
+
+She stopped suddenly, and stood motionless, and she saw Miss Potts
+giggle, and heard her say to a school-girl near her, "I suppose she is
+going to speak a speech." She turned very pale, and felt as if she could
+gladly sink into the floor, when suddenly some one took her hand, and
+the voice of Bromley Cheston said to her, "Albina--Miss Marsden--I will
+conduct you wherever you wish to go"--and then, lowering his tone, he
+asked her, "Why this agitation--what has happened to distress you?"
+
+Cheston had just arrived from New York, having been detained on the way
+by an accident that happened to one of the boats, and finding that Mrs.
+Marsden was in town, and had that day sent several messages for him, he
+repaired immediately to her lodgings. He had intended declining the
+invitation of Mrs. Potts, but when he found that Albina had gone
+thither, he hastily changed his dress and went to the party. When he
+entered, what was his amazement to see her standing alone in the centre
+of the room, and the company whispering and gazing at her.
+
+Albina, on hearing the voice of a friend, the voice of Bromley Cheston,
+was completely overcome, and she covered her face and burst into tears.
+"Albina," said Cheston, "I will not now ask an explanation; I see that,
+whatever may have happened, you had best go home."
+
+"Oh! most gladly, most thankfully," she exclaimed, in a voice almost
+inarticulate with sobs.
+
+Cheston drew her arm within his, and bowing to Mrs. Potts, he led Albina
+out of the apartment, and conducted her to the staircase, whence she
+went to the ladies' room to compose herself a little, and prepare for
+her departure.
+
+Cheston then sent one servant for a carriage, and another to tell Mr.
+Potts that he desired to speak with him in the hall. Potts came out with
+a pale, frightened face, and said--"Indeed, sir--indeed, I had nothing
+to do with it; ask the women. It was all them entirely. It was the
+women that laughed at Miss Albina, and whispered about her."
+
+"For what?" demanded the lieutenant. "I insist on knowing for what
+cause."
+
+"Why, sir," replied Potts, "she came here to my wife's party, after Mrs.
+Potts had sent a note desiring her to stay away; which was certainly an
+odd thing for a young lady to do."
+
+"There is some mistake," exclaimed Cheston; "I'll stake my life that she
+never saw the note. And now, for what reason did Mrs. Potts write such a
+note? How did she dare--"
+
+"Oh!" replied Potts, stammering and hesitating, "women will have their
+notions; men are not half so particular about their company. Somehow,
+after Mrs. Potts had invited Miss Albina, she thought, on farther
+consideration, that poor Miss Albina was not quite genteel enough for
+her party. You know all the women now make a great point of being
+genteel. But, indeed, sir (observing the storm that was gathering on
+Cheston's brow), indeed, sir--_I_ was not in the least to blame. It was
+altogether the fault of my wife."
+
+The indignation of the lieutenant was so highly excited, that nothing
+could have checked it but the recollection that Potts was in his own
+house. At this moment, Albina came down stairs, and Cheston took her
+hand and said to her: "Albina, did you receive a note from Mrs. Potts
+interdicting your presence at the party?"--"Oh! no, indeed!" exclaimed
+Albina, amazed at the question. "Surely she did not send me such a
+note."--"Yes she did, though," said Potts, quickly.--"Is it, then,
+necessary for me to say," said Albina, indignantly, "that, under those
+circumstances, nothing could have induced me to enter this house, now or
+ever! I saw or heard nothing of this note. And is this the reason that I
+have been treated so rudely--so cruelly--"
+
+Upon this, Mr. Potts made his escape, and Cheston, having put Albina
+into the carriage, desired the coachman to wait a few moments. He then
+returned to the drawing-room and approached Mrs. Potts, who was standing
+with half the company collected round her, and explaining with great
+volubility the whole history of Albina Marsden. On the appearance of
+Cheston, she stopped short, and all her auditors looked foolish.
+
+The young officer advanced into the centre of the circle, and, first
+addressing Mrs. Potts, he said to her--"In justice to Miss Marsden, I
+have returned, madam, to inform you that your note of interdiction, with
+which you have so kindly made all the company acquainted, was till this
+moment unknown to that young lady. But, even had she come wilfully, and
+in the full knowledge of your prohibition, no circumstances whatever
+could justify the rudeness with which I find she has been treated. I
+have now only to say that, if any gentleman presumes, either here or
+hereafter, to cast a reflection on the conduct of Miss Albina Marsden,
+in this or in any other instance, he must answer to me for the
+consequences. And if I find that any lady has invidiously misrepresented
+this occurrence, I shall insist on an atonement from her husband, her
+brother, or her admirer."
+
+He then bowed and departed, and the company looked still more foolish.
+
+"This lesson," thought Cheston, "will have the salutary effect of curing
+Albina of her predominant follies. She is a lovely girl, after all, and
+when withdrawn from the influence of her mother, will make a charming
+woman and an excellent wife."
+
+Before the carriage stopped at the residence of Mrs. Marsden, Cheston
+had made Albina an offer of his heart and hand, and the offer was not
+refused.
+
+Mrs. Marsden was scarcely surprised at the earliness of Albina's return
+from the party, for she had a secret misgiving that all was not right,
+that the suppression of the note would not eventuate well, and she
+bitterly regretted having done it. When her daughter related to her the
+story of the evening, Mrs. Marsden was overwhelmed with compunction;
+and, though Cheston was present, she could not refrain from
+acknowledging at once her culpability, for it certainly deserved no
+softer name. Cheston and Albina were shocked at this disclosure; but, in
+compassion to Mrs. Marsden, they forbore to add to her distress by a
+single comment. Cheston shortly after took his leave, saying to Albina
+as he departed, "I hope you are done for ever with Mrs. Washington
+Potts."
+
+Next morning, Cheston seriously but kindly expostulated with Albina and
+her mother on the folly and absurdity of sacrificing their comfort,
+their time, their money, and, indeed, their self-respect, to the paltry
+distinction of being capriciously noticed by a few vain, silly,
+heartless people, inferior to themselves in everything but in wealth and
+in a slight tincture of soi-disant fashion; and who, after all, only
+took them on or threw them off as it suited their own convenience.
+
+"What you say is very true, Bromley," replied Mrs. Marsden. "I begin to
+view these things in their proper light, and as Albina remarks, we ought
+to profit by this last lesson. To tell the exact truth, I have heard
+since I came to town that Mrs. Washington Potts is, after all, by no
+means in the first circle, and it is whispered that she and her husband
+are both of very low origin."
+
+"No matter for her circle or her origin," said Cheston, "in our country
+the only acknowledged distinction should be that which is denoted by
+superiority of mind and manners."
+
+Next day Lieutenant Cheston escorted Mrs. Marsden and Albina back to
+their own home--and a week afterwards he was sent unexpectedly on a
+cruise in the West Indies.
+
+He returned in the spring, and found Mrs. Marsden more rational than he
+had ever known her, and Albina highly improved by a judicious course of
+reading which he had marked out for her, and still more by her intimacy
+with a truly genteel, highly talented, and very amiable family from the
+eastward, who had recently bought a house in the village, and in whose
+society she often wondered at the infatuation which had led her to fancy
+such a woman as Mrs. Washington Potts, with whom, of course, she never
+had any farther communication.
+
+A recent and very large bequest to Bromley Cheston from a distant
+relation, made it no longer necessary that the young lieutenant should
+wait for promotion before he married Albina; and accordingly their union
+took place immediately on his return.
+
+Before the Montagues left Philadelphia to prosecute their journey to the
+south, there arrived an acquaintance of theirs from England, who
+injudiciously "told the secrets of his prison-house," and made known in
+whispers "not loud but deep," that Mr. Dudley Montague, of Normancourt
+Park, Hants, (alias Mr. John Wilkins, of Lamb's Conduit Street,
+Clerkenwell), had long been well-known in London as a reporter for a
+newspaper; that he had recently married a widow, the ci-devant governess
+of a Somers Town Boarding-school, who had drawn her ideas of fashionable
+life from the columns of the Morning Post, and who famished her pupils
+so much to her own profit that she had been able to retire on a sort of
+fortune. With the assistance of this fund, she and her daughter (the
+young lady was in reality the offspring of her mother's first marriage)
+had accompanied Mr. Wilkins across the Atlantic: all three assuming the
+lordly name of Montague, as one well calculated to strike the
+republicans with proper awe. The truth was, that for a suitable
+consideration proffered by a tory publisher, the _soi-disant_ Mr.
+Montague had undertaken to add another octavo to the numerous volumes of
+gross misrepresentation and real ignorance that profess to contain an
+impartial account of the United States of America.
+
+
+
+
+MR. SMITH.
+
+
+Those of my readers who recollect the story of Mrs. Washington Potts,
+may not be sorry to learn that in less than two years after the marriage
+of Bromley Cheston and Albina, Mrs. Marsden was united to a southern
+planter of great wealth and respectability, with whom she had become
+acquainted during a summer excursion to Newport. Mrs. Selbourne (that
+being her new name) was now, as her letters denoted, completely in her
+element, presiding over a large establishment, mistress of twelve
+house-servants, and almost continually engaged in doing the honours of a
+spacious mansion to a round of company, or in complying with similar
+invitations from the leading people of a populous neighbourhood, or in
+reciprocating visits with the most fashionable inhabitants of the
+nearest city. Her only regret was that Mrs. Washington Potts could not
+"be there to see." But then as a set-off, Mrs. Selbourne rejoiced in the
+happy reflection, that a distance of several hundred miles placed a
+great gulf between herself and Aunt Quimby, from whose Vandal incursions
+she now felt a delightful sense of security. She was not, however, like
+most of her compatriots, a warm advocate for the universal diffusion of
+railroads; neither did she assent very cordially to the common remarks
+about this great invention, annihilating both time and space, and
+bringing "the north and the south, and the east and the west" into the
+same neighbourhood.
+
+Bromley Cheston, having succeeded to a handsome inheritance by the
+demise of an opulent relative, in addition to his house in Philadelphia,
+purchased as a summer residence that of his mother-in-law on the banks
+of the Delaware, greatly enlarging and improving it, and adding to its
+little domain some meadow and woodland; also a beautiful piece of
+ground which he converted into a green lawn sloping down towards the
+river, and bounded on one side by a shady road that led to a convenient
+landing-place.
+
+The happiness of Albina and her husband (who in the regular course of
+promotion became Captain Cheston) was much increased by the society of
+Bromley's sister Myrtilla, a beautiful, sprightly, and intelligent girl,
+whom they invited to live with them after the death of her maternal
+grandmother, an eastern lady, with whom she had resided since the loss
+of her parents, and who had left her a little fortune of thirty thousand
+dollars.
+
+Their winters were passed in Philadelphia, where Albina found herself
+quite at home in a circle far superior to that of Mrs. Washington Potts,
+who was one of the first to visit Mrs. Cheston on her marriage. This
+visit was of course received with civility, but returned by merely
+leaving a card at the door. No notice whatever was taken of Mrs. Potts's
+second call; neither was she ever invited to the house.
+
+When Cheston was not at sea, little was wanting to complete the perfect
+felicity of the family. It is true they were not entirely exempt from
+the occasional annoyances and petty vexations, inseparable from even the
+happiest state of human life; but these were only transient shadows,
+that, on passing away, generally served as topics of amusement, and
+caused them to wonder how trifles, diverting in the recollection, could
+have really so troubled them at the time of occurrence. Such, for
+instance, were the frequent visitations of Mrs. Quimby, who told them
+(after they had enlarged their villa, and bought a carriage and a
+tilbury), "Really, good people, now that things are all so genteel, and
+pleasant, and full-handed, I think I shall be apt to favour you with my
+company the greatest part of every summer. There's no danger of Billy
+Fairfowl and Mary being jealous. They always let me go and come just as
+I please; and if I was to stay away ten years, I do not believe they'd
+be the least affronted."
+
+As the old lady had intimated, her visits, instead of being "few and far
+between," were many and close together. It is said you may get used to
+anything, and therefore the Chestons _did not_ sell off their property
+and fly the country on account of Aunt Quimby. Luckily she never brought
+with her any of the Fairfowl family, her son-in-law having sufficient
+tact to avoid on principle all visiting intercourse with people who
+were beyond his sphere: for, though certain of being kindly treated by
+the Chestons themselves, he apprehended that he and his would probably
+be looked down upon by persons whom they might chance to meet there.
+Mrs. Quimby, for her part, was totally obtuse to all sense of these
+distinctions.
+
+One Monday evening, on his return from town, Captain Cheston brought his
+wife and sister invitations to a projected picnic party, among the
+managers of which were two of his intimate friends. The company was to
+consist chiefly of ladies and gentlemen from the city. Their design was
+to assemble on the following Thursday, at some pleasant retreat on the
+banks of the Delaware, and to recreate themselves with an unceremonious
+_fete champetre_. "I invited them," continued the captain, "to make use
+of my grounds for the purpose. We can find an excellent place for them
+in the woods by the river side. Delham and Lonsgrave will be here
+to-morrow, to reconnoitre the capabilities of the place."
+
+The ladies were delighted with the prospect of the picnic party; more
+especially on finding that most of the company were known to them.
+
+"It will be charming," said Albina, "to have them near us, and to be
+able to supply them with many conveniences from our own house. You may
+be assured, dear Bromley, that I shall liberally do my part towards
+contributing to the picnickery. You know that our culinary preparations
+never go wrong now that I have more experience, good servants, and above
+all plenty to do with."
+
+"How fortunate," said Myrtilla Cheston, "that Mrs. Quimby left us this
+morning. This last visit has been so long that I think she will scarcely
+favour us with another in less than two or three weeks. I hope she will
+not hear that the picnic is to be on our place."
+
+"There is no danger," replied Cheston; "Aunt Quimby cannot possibly know
+any of the persons concerned in it. And besides, I met her to-day in the
+street, and she told me that she was going to set out on Wednesday for
+Baltimore, to visit Billy Fairfowl's sister, Mrs. Bagnell: 'Also,' said
+she, 'it will take me from this time to that to pack my things, as I
+never before went so far from home, and I dare say, I shall stay in
+Baltimore all the rest of the fall; I don't believe when the Bagnells
+once have me with them, they'll let me come away much this side of
+winter.'"
+
+"I sincerely hope they will not!" exclaimed Albina; "I am so glad that
+Nancy Fairfowl has married a Baltimorean. I trust they will make their
+house so pleasant to Aunt Quimby, that she will transfer her favour from
+us to them. You know she often tells us that Nancy and herself are as
+like as two peas, both in looks and ways; and from her account, Johnny
+Bagnell must be a third pea, exactly resembling both of them."
+
+"And yet," observed Cheston, "people whose minds are of the same
+calibre, do not always assimilate as well as might be supposed. When
+_too_ nearly alike, and too close to each other, they frequently rub
+together so as to grate exceedingly."
+
+We will pass over the intervening days by saying, that the preparations
+for the picnic party were duly and successfully made: the arrangement of
+the ground being undertaken by Captain Cheston, and Lieutenants Delham
+and Lonsgrave, and completed with the taste, neatness, and judicious
+arrangement, which always distinguishes such things when done by
+officers, whether of army or navy.
+
+The appointed Thursday arrived. It was a lovely day, early in September:
+the air being of that delightful and exhilarating temperature, that
+converts the mere sense of existence into pleasure. The heats of summer
+were over, and the sky had assumed its mildest tint of blue. All was
+calm and cool, and lovely, and the country seemed sleeping in luxurious
+repose. The grass, refreshed by the August rains, looked green as that
+of the "emerald isle;" and the forest trees had not yet begun to wear
+the brilliant colours of autumn, excepting here and there a maple whose
+foliage was already crimsoned. The orchards were loaded with fruit,
+glowing in ripeness; and the buckwheat fields, white with blossoms,
+perfumed the air with their honeyed fragrance. The rich flowers of the
+season were in full bloom. Birds of beautiful plumage still lingered in
+the woods, and were warbling their farewell notes previous to their
+return to a more southern latitude. The morning sunbeams danced and
+glittered on the blue waters of the broad and brimming Delaware, as the
+mirrored surface reflected its green and fertile banks with their
+flowery meadows, embowering groves, and modestly elegant villas.
+
+The ground allotted to the party was an open space in the woodlands,
+which ran along an elevated ridge, looking directly down on the noble
+river that from its far-off source in the Catskill mountains, first
+dividing Pennsylvania from New York and then from New Jersey, carries
+its tributary stream the distance of three hundred miles, till it widens
+into the dim and lonely bay whose last waves are blended with the
+dark-rolling Atlantic. Old trees of irregular and fantastic forms,
+leaning far over the water, grew on the extreme edge of this bank; and
+from its steep and crumbling side protruded their wildly twisted roots,
+fringed with long fibres that had been washed bare by the tide which
+daily overflowed the broad strip of gray sand, that margined the river.
+Part of an old fence, that had been broken down and carried away by the
+incursions of a spring freshet, still remained, at intervals, along the
+verge of the bank; and his ladies had prevailed on Captain Cheston not
+to repair it, as in its ruinous state it looked far more picturesque
+than if new and in good order. In clearing this part of the forest many
+of the largest and finest trees had been left standing, and beneath
+their shade seats were now dispersed for the company. In another part of
+the opening, a long table had been set under a sort of marquee,
+constructed of colours brought from the Navy Yard, and gracefully
+suspended to the wide-spreading branches of some noble oaks: the stars
+and stripes of the most brilliant flag in the world, blending in
+picturesque elegance with the green and clustering foliage. At a little
+distance, under a group of trees, whose original forms were hidden
+beneath impervious masses of the forest grape-vine, was placed a
+side-table for the reception of the provisions, as they were unpacked
+from the baskets; and a clear shady brook which wandered near, rippling
+over a bed of pebbles on its way down to the river, afforded an
+unlimited supply of "water clear as diamond spark," and made an
+excellent refrigerator for the wine bottles.
+
+Most of the company were to go up in the early boat: purposing to return
+in the evening by the railroad. Others, who preferred making their own
+time, were to come in carriages. As soon as the bell of the steamboat
+gave notice of her approach, Captain Cheston, with his wife and sister,
+accompanied by Lieutenants Delham and Lonsgrave, went down to the
+landing-place to receive the first division of the picnic party, which
+was chiefly of young people, all with smiling countenances, and looking
+as if they anticipated a very pleasant little fete. The Chestons were
+prepared to say with Seged of Ethiopia, "This day shall be a day of
+happiness"--but as the last of the gay procession stepped from the
+landing-board, Aunt Quimby brought up the rear.
+
+"Oh! Bromley," said Mrs. Cheston, in a low voice, to her husband, "there
+is our most _mal-a-propos_ of aunts--I thought she was a hundred miles
+off. This is really too bad--what shall we do with her? On this day,
+too, of all days--"
+
+"We can do nothing, but endeavour, as usual, to make the best of her,"
+replied the captain; "but where did she pick up that common-looking man,
+whom she seems to be hauling along with her?"
+
+Mrs. Quimby now came up, and after the first greeting, Albina and
+Myrtilla endeavoured to withdraw from her the attention of the rest of
+the company, whom they conducted for the present to the house; but she
+seized upon the captain, to whom she introduced her companion by the
+appellation of Mr. Smith. The stranger looked embarrassed, and seemed as
+if he could scarcely presume to take the offered hand of Captain
+Cheston, and muttered something about trespassing on hospitality, but
+Aunt Quimby interrupted him with--"Oh! nonsense, now, Mr. Smith--where's
+the use of being so shame-faced, and making apologies for what can't be
+helped? I dare say my nephew and niece wonder quite as much at seeing
+_me_ here, supposing that I'm safe and sound at Nancy Bagnell's, in
+Baltimore. But are you sure my baggage is all on the barrow? Just step
+back, and see if the big blue bandbox is safe, and the little yellow
+one; I should not wonder if the porter tosses them off, or crushes in
+the lids. All men seem to have a spite at bandboxes."
+
+Mr. Smith meekly obeyed: and Aunt Quimby, taking the arm of Cheston,
+walked with him towards the house.
+
+"Tell me who this gentleman is," said Captain Cheston. "He cannot belong
+to any of the Smiths of 'Market, Arch, Race, and Vine, Chestnut, Walnut,
+Spruce, and Pine.'"
+
+"No," replied Mrs. Quimby, "nor to the Smiths of the cross-streets
+neither--nor to those up in the Northern Liberties, nor them down in
+Southwark. If you mean that he is not a Philadelphia man, you've hit the
+nail on the head--but that's no reason there shouldn't be Smiths enough
+all over the world. However, the short and the long of it is this--I was
+to have started for Baltimore yesterday morning, bright and early, with
+Mr. and Mrs. Neverwait--but the shoemaker had not sent home my
+over-shoes, and the dyer had not finished my gray Canton crape shawl,
+that he was doing a cinnamon brown, and the milliner disappointed me in
+new-lining my bonnet; so I could not possibly go, you know, and the
+Neverwaits went without me. Well, the things _were_ brought home last
+night, which was like coming a day after the fair. But as I was all
+packed up, I was bent upon going, somehow or other, this morning. So I
+made Billy Fairfowl take me down to the wharf, bag and baggage, to see
+if he could find anybody he knew to take charge of me to Baltimore. And
+there, as good luck would have it, we met with Mr. Smith, who has been
+several times in Billy's store, and bought domestics of him, and got
+acquainted with him; so that Billy, finding this poor Mr. Smith was a
+stranger, and a man that took no airs, and that did not set up for great
+things, got very sociable with him, and even invited him to tea. Now,
+when we met him on the wharf, Mr. Smith was quite a windfall for us, and
+he agreed to escort me to Baltimore, as of course he must, when he was
+asked. So, then, Billy being in a hurry to go to market for breakfast
+(before all the pick of the butter was gone), just bade me good-bye, and
+left me on the wharf, seeing what good hands I was in. Now, poor Mr.
+Smith being a stranger, and, of course, not so well used to steamboats
+as our own people, took me into the wrong one; for the New York and
+Baltimore boats were laying side by side, and seemed both mixed
+together, so that it was hard telling which was which, the crowd hiding
+everything from us. And after we got on board, I was so busy talking,
+and he a listening, and looking at the people, that we never found out
+our mistake till we were half-way up the river, instead of being
+half-way down it. And then I heard the ladies all round talking of a nic
+or a pic (or both I believe they called it), that they said was to be
+held on Captain Cheston's grounds. So, then, I pricked up my ears, and
+found that it was even so; and I told them that Captain Cheston was a
+near relation of mine, for his wife was own daughter to Mrs. Marsden
+that was, whose first husband was my sister Nelly's own son; and all
+about your marrying Albina, and what a handsome place you have, and how
+Mr. Smith and I had got into the wrong boat, and were getting carried
+off, being taken up the river instead of down."
+
+"And what did the company say to all this?" inquired Cheston.
+
+"Why, I don't exactly remember, but they must have said something; for I
+know those that were nearest stopped their own talk when I began. And,
+after awhile, I went across to the other side of the boat, where Mr.
+Smith was leaning over the railing, and looking at the foam flying from
+the wheels, (as if it was something new), and I pulled his sleeve, and
+told him we were quite in luck to-day, for we should be at a party
+without intending it. And he made a sort of humming and hawing about
+intruding himself (as he called it) without an invitation. But I told
+him to leave all that to me--I'd engage to pass him through. And he
+talked something of betaking himself to the nearest hotel after we
+landed, and waiting for the next boat down the river. However, I would
+not listen to that; and I made him understand that any how there could
+be no Baltimore to-day, as it was quite too late to get there now by any
+contrivance at all; and that we could go down with the other company
+this evening by the railroad, and take a fresh start to-morrow morning.
+Still he seemed to hold back; and I told him that as to our going to the
+party, all things had turned up as if it _was_ to be, and I should think
+it a sin to fling such good luck aside, when it was just ready to drop
+into our mouths, and that he might never have another chance of being in
+such genteel company as long as he lived. This last hint seemed to do
+the business, for he gave a sort of a pleased smile, and made no more
+objection. And then I put him in mind that the people that owned the
+ground were my own niece and nephew, who were always crazy to see me,
+and have me with them; and I could answer for it they'd be just as glad
+to see any of my acquaintance--and as to the eatables, I was sure _his_
+being there would not make a cent's worth of difference, for I was
+certain there'd be plenty, and oceans of plenty, and I told him only to
+go and look at the baskets of victuals that were going up in the boat;
+besides all that, I knew the Chestons would provide well, for they were
+never backward with anything."
+
+She now stopped to take breath, and Cheston inquired if her son-in-law
+knew nothing more of Mr. Smith than from merely seeing him in his store.
+
+"Oh! yes; did not I tell you we had him to tea? You need not mention it
+to anybody--but (if the truth must be told) Mr. Smith is an Englishman.
+The poor man can't help that, you know: and I'm sure I should never have
+guessed it, for he neither looks English nor talks English. He is not a
+bit like that impudent Mr. Montague, who took slices out of Albina's big
+plum-cake hours before the company came, at that great party she gave
+for Mrs. Washington Potts."
+
+"Pshaw!" said Cheston.
+
+"Yes, you may well pshaw at it. But after all, for my own part, I must
+say I enjoyed myself very much that evening. I had a great deal of
+pleasant talk. I was sorry, afterwards, that I did not stay down stairs
+to the last, to see if all the company took French leave like me. If
+they did, it must have been quite a pretty sight to see them go. By the
+bye (now I talk of French leave) did you hear that the Washington
+Pottses have broke all to pieces and gone off to France to live upon the
+money that he made over to his wife to keep it from his creditors?"
+
+"But, Mr. Smith--" resumed Cheston.
+
+"Why, Bromley, what makes you so fidgety? Billy Fairfowl (though I say
+it that shouldn't say it) is not the man to ask people to tea unless he
+is sure they are pretty decent sort of folks. So he went first to the
+British Consul, and inquired about Mr. Smith, and described his look and
+dress just as he would a runaway 'prentice. And the Consul knew exactly
+who he meant, and told him he would answer for Mr. Smith's being a man
+of good character, and perfectly honest and respectable. And that, you
+know, is quite as much as need be said of anybody. So, then, we had him
+to tea, quite in a plain way; but he seemed very easily satisfied, and
+though there were huckleberries, and cucumbers, and dough-nuts, he did
+not eat a thing but bread and butter, and not much of that, and took no
+sugar in his tea, and only drank two cups. And Billy talked to him the
+whole evening about our factories, and our coal and iron: and he
+listened quite attentively, and seemed to understand very well, though
+he did not say much; and he kept awake all the time, which was very
+clever of him, and more than Billy is used to. He seems like a
+good-hearted man, for he saved little Jane from pulling the tea-waiter
+down upon her head, as she was coming out from under the table; and he
+ran and picked up Johnny, when he fell over the rockers of the big
+chair, and wiped the blood off his nose with his own clean handkerchief.
+I dare say he's a good soul; but he is very humble-minded, and seems so
+afraid of saying wrong that he hardly says anything. Here he comes,
+trudging along beside the porter; and I see he has got all the baggage
+safe, even the brown paper parcel and the calico bag. That's his own
+trunk, under all the rest."
+
+Mr. Smith now came up, and inquired of Captain Cheston for the nearest
+inn, that he might remain there till a boat passed down for
+Philadelphia. "Why, Mr. Smith," interrupted Aunt Quimby, "where's the
+sense of being so backward? We ought to be thankful for our good luck
+in getting here on the very day of the picnic, even though we _did_ come
+by mistake. And now you _are_ here, it's all nonsense for you to run
+away, and go and mope by yourself at a country tavern. I suppose you are
+afraid you're not welcome; but I'll answer for you as well as myself."
+
+Civility to the stranger required that Captain Cheston should second
+Mrs. Quimby; and he did so in terms so polite that Mr. Smith was
+induced, with much diffidence, to remain.
+
+"Poor man!" said Aunt Quimby, in a low voice, to the captain, "between
+ourselves, it's plain enough that he is not much used to being among
+great people, and he's afraid of feeling like a fish out of water. He
+must have a very poor opinion of himself, for even at Billy Fairfowl's
+he did not seem quite at home; though we all tried to encourage him, and
+I told him myself, as soon as we sat down to the tea-table, to make just
+as free as if he was in his own house."
+
+Arrived at the mansion of the Chestons, Mrs. Quimby at first objected to
+changing her dress, which was a very rusty black silk, with a bonnet to
+match; declaring that she was sure nothing was expected of people who
+were on their travels, and that she saw no use in taking the trouble to
+unpack her baggage. She was, however, overruled by the representations
+of Albina, who offered to both unpack and re-pack for her. Accordingly
+she equipped herself in what she called her second-best suit. The gown
+was a thick rustling silk, of a very reddish brown, with a new inside
+kerchief of blue-tinted book muslin that had never been washed. Over her
+shoulders she pinned her Canton-crape shawl, whose brown tinge was
+entirely at variance with the shade of her gown. On her head was a stiff
+hard cap, trimmed with satin ribbon, of a still different brown colour,
+the ends of the bows sticking out horizontally, and scolloped into
+numerous points. She would not wear her best bonnet, lest it should be
+injured; and fortunately her worst was so small that she found, if she
+put it on, it would crush her second-best cap. She carried in one hand a
+stiff-starched handkerchief of imitation-cambric, which she considered
+too good to unfold; and with the other she held over her head a faded
+green parasol.
+
+Thus equipped, the old lady set out with Captain and Mrs. Cheston for
+the scene of the picnic; the rest of the party being a little in advance
+of them. They saw Mr. Smith strolling about the lawn, and Mrs. Quimby
+called to him to come and give his arm to her niece, saying, "There,
+Albina, take him under your wing, and try to make him sociable, while I
+walk on with your husband. Bromley, how well you look in your
+navy-regimentals. I declare I'm more and more in luck. It is not
+everybody that can have an officer always ready and willing to 'squire
+them"--And the old lady (like many young ladies) unconsciously put on a
+different face and a different walk, while escorted by a gentleman in
+uniform.
+
+"Bromley," continued Aunt Quimby, "I heard some of the picnic ladies in
+the boat saying that those which are to ride up are to bring a lion with
+them. This made me open my eyes, and put me all in quiver; so I could
+not help speaking out, and saying--I should make a real right down
+objection to his being let loose among the company, even if he was ever
+so tame. Then they laughed, and one of them said that a lion meant a
+great man; and asked me if I had never heard the term before. I answered
+that may be I had, but it must have slipped my memory; and that I
+thought it a great shame to speak of Christian people as if they were
+wild beasts."
+
+"And who is this great man?" inquired Cheston.
+
+"Oh! he's a foreigner from beyond sea, and he is coming with some of the
+ladies in their own carriage--Baron Somebody"--
+
+"Baron Von Klingenberg," said Cheston, "I have heard of him."
+
+"That's the very name. It seems he is just come from Germany, and has
+taken rooms at one of the tip-top hotels, where he has a table all to
+himself. I wonder how any man can bear to eat his victuals sitting up
+all alone, with not a soul to speak a word with. I think I should die if
+I had no body to talk to. Well--they said that this Baron is a person of
+very high _tone_, which I suppose means that he has a very loud
+voice--and from what I could gather, it's fashionable for the young
+ladies to fall in love with him, and they think it an honour to get a
+bow from him in Chesnut street, and they take him all about with them.
+And they say he has in his own country a castle that stands on banks of
+rind, which seems a strange foundation. Dear me--now we've got to the
+picnic place--how gay and pretty everything looks, and what heaps of
+victuals there must be in all those baskets, and oceans of drinkables in
+all those bottles and demijohns. Mercy on me--I pity the
+dish-washers--when will they get through all the dirty plates! And I
+declare! how beautiful the flags look! fixed up over the table just
+like bed-curtains--I am glad you have plenty of chairs here, besides the
+benches.--And only see!--if here a'n't cakes and lemonade coming round."
+
+The old lady took her seat under one of the large trees, and entered
+unhesitatingly into whatever conversation was within her hearing;
+frequently calling away the Chestons to ask them questions or address to
+them remarks. The company generally divided into groups; some sat, some
+walked, some talked; and some, retreating farther into the woods, amused
+themselves and each other with singing, or playing forfeits. There was,
+as is usual in Philadelphia assemblages, a very large proportion of
+handsome young ladies; and all were dressed in that consistent,
+tasteful, and decorous manner which distinguishes the fair damsels of
+the city of Penn.
+
+In a short time Mrs. Quimby missed her protegee, and looking round for
+him she exclaimed--"Oh! if there is not Mr. Smith a sitting on a rail,
+just back of me, all the time. Do come down off the fence, Mr. Smith.
+You'll find a much pleasanter seat on this low stump behind me, than to
+stay perched up there. Myrtilla Cheston, my dear, come here--I want to
+speak to you."
+
+Miss Cheston had the amiability to approach promptly and cheerfully:
+though called away from an animated conversation with two officers of
+the navy, two of the army, and three young lawyers, who had all formed a
+semicircle round four of the most attractive belles: herself being the
+cynosure.
+
+"Myrtilla," said Aunt Quimby, in rather a low voice, "do take some
+account of this poor forlorn man that's sitting behind me. He's so very
+backward, and thinks himself such a mere nobody, that I dare say he
+feels bad enough at being here without an invitation, and all among
+strangers too--though I've told him over and over that he need not have
+the least fear of being welcome. There now--there's a good girl--go and
+spirit him up a little. You know you are at home here on your brother's
+own ground."
+
+"I scarcely know how to talk to an Englishman," replied Myrtilla, in a
+very low voice.
+
+"Why, can't you ask him, if he ever in his life saw so wide a river, and
+if he ever in his life saw such big trees, and if he don't think our sun
+a great deal brighter than his, and if he ever smelt buckwheat before?"
+
+Myrtilla turned towards Mr. Smith (and perceiving from his
+ill-suppressed smile that he had heard Mrs. Quimby's instructions) like
+Olivia in the play, she humoured the jest by literally following them,
+making a curtsy to the gentleman, and saying, "Mr. Smith, did you ever
+in your life see so wide a river? did you ever in your life see such big
+trees? don't you think our sun a great deal brighter than yours? and did
+you ever smell buckwheat before?"
+
+"I have not had that happiness," replied Mr. Smith with a simpering
+laugh, as he rose from the old stump, and, forgetting that it was not a
+chair, tried to hand it to Myrtilla. She bowed in acknowledgment, placed
+herself on the seat--and for awhile endeavoured to entertain Mr. Smith,
+as he stood leaning (not picturesquely) against a portion of the broken
+fence.
+
+In the mean time Mrs. Quimby continued to call on the attention of those
+around her. To some the old lady was a source of amusement, to others of
+disgust and annoyance. By this time they all understood who she was, and
+how she happened to be there. Fixing her eyes on a very dignified and
+fashionable looking young lady, whom she had heard addressed as Miss
+Lybrand, and (who with several others) was sitting nearly opposite,
+"Pray, Miss," said Aunt Quimby, "was your grandfather's name Moses?"
+
+"It was," replied the young lady.
+
+"Oh! then you must be a granddaughter of old Moses Lybrand, who kept a
+livery stable up in Race street; and his son Aaron always used to drive
+the best carriage, after the old man was past doing it himself. Is your
+father's name Aaron?"
+
+"No, madam," said Miss Lybrand--looking very red--"My father's name is
+Richard."
+
+"Richard--he must have been one of the second wife's children. Oh! I
+remember seeing him about when he was a little boy. He had a curly head,
+and on week days generally wore a gray jacket and corduroy trowsers; but
+he had a nice bottle-green suit for Sunday. Yes, yes--they went to our
+church, and sat up in the gallery. And he was your father, was he? Then
+Aaron must have been your own uncle. He was a very careful driver for a
+young man. He learnt of his father. I remember just after we were first
+married, Mr. Quimby hiring Moses Lybrand's best carriage to take me and
+my bridesmaids and groomsmen on a trip to Germantown. It was a yellow
+coachee with red curtains, and held us all very well with close packing.
+In those days people like us took their wedding rides to Germantown and
+Frankford and Darby, and ordered a dinner at a tavern with custards and
+whips, and came home in the evening. And the high-flyers, when _they_
+got married, went as far as Chester or Dunks's Ferry. They did not then
+start off from the church door and scour the roads all the way to
+Niagara just because they were brides and grooms; as if that was any
+reason for flying their homes directly. But pray what has become of your
+uncle Aaron?"
+
+"I do not know," said the young lady, looking much displeased; "I never
+heard of him."
+
+"But did not you tell me your grandfather's name was Moses?"
+
+"There may have been other Moses Lybrands."
+
+"Was not he a short pockmarked man, that walked a little lame, with
+something of a cast in his right eye: or, I won't be positive, may be it
+was in the left?"
+
+"I am very sure papa's father was no such looking person," replied Miss
+Lybrand, "but I never saw him--he died before I was born--"
+
+"Poor old man," resumed Mrs. Quimby, "if I remember right, Moses became
+childish many years before his death."
+
+Miss Lybrand then rose hastily, and proposed to her immediate companions
+a walk farther into the woods; and Myrtilla, leaving the vicinity of Mr.
+Smith, came forward and joined them: her friends making a private signal
+to her not to invite the aforesaid gentleman to accompany them.
+
+Aunt Quimby saw them depart, and looking round said--"Why, Mr.
+Smith--have the girls given you the slip? But to be sure, they meant you
+to follow them!"
+
+Mr. Smith signified that he had not courage to do so without an
+invitation, and that he feared he had already been tiring Miss Cheston.
+
+"Pho, pho," said Mrs. Quimby, "you are quite too humble. Pluck up a
+little spirit, and run after the girls."
+
+"I believe," replied he, "I cannot take such a liberty."
+
+"Then I'll call Captain Cheston to introduce you to some more gentlemen.
+Here--Bromley--"
+
+"No--no," said Mr. Smith, stopping her apprehensively; "I would rather
+not intrude any farther upon his kindness."
+
+"I declare you are the shame-facedest man I ever saw in my life. Well,
+then, you can walk about, and look at the trees and bushes. There's a
+fine large buttonwood, and there's a sassafras; or you can go to the
+edge of the bank and look at the river and watch how the tide goes down
+and leaves the splatter-docks standing in the mud. See how thick they
+are at low water--I wonder if you couldn't count them. And may be
+you'll see a wood-shallop pass along, or may be a coal-barge. And who
+knows but a sturgeon may jump out of the water, and turn head over heels
+and back again--it's quite a handsome sight!"
+
+Good Mr. Smith did as he was bidden, and walked about and looked at
+things, and probably counted the splatter-docks, and perhaps saw a fish
+jump.
+
+"It's all bashfulness--nothing in the world but bashfulness," pursued
+Mrs. Quimby; "that's the only reason Mr. Smith don't talk."
+
+"For my part," said a very elegant looking girl, "I am perfectly willing
+to impute the taciturnity of Mr. Smith (and that of all other silent
+people) to modesty. But yet I must say, that as far as I have had
+opportunities of observing, most men above the age of twenty have
+sufficient courage to talk, if they know what to say. When the head is
+well furnished with ideas, the tongue cannot habitually refrain from
+giving them utterance."
+
+"That's a very good observation," said Mrs. Quimby, "and suits _me_
+exactly. But as to Mr. Smith, I do believe it's all bashfulness with
+him. Between ourselves (though the British consul warrants him
+respectable) I doubt whether he was ever in such genteel society before;
+and may be he thinks it his duty to listen and not to talk, poor man.
+But then he ought to know, that in our country he need not be afraid of
+nobody: and that here all people are equal, and one is as good as
+another."
+
+"Not exactly," said the young lady, "we have in America, as in Europe,
+numerous gradations of mind, manners, and character. Politically we are
+equal, as far as regards the rights of citizens and the protection of
+the laws; and also we have no privileged orders. But individually it is
+difficult for the refined and the vulgar, the learned and the ignorant,
+the virtuous and the vicious to associate familiarly and
+indiscriminately, even in a republic."
+
+The old lady looked mystified for a few moments, and then proceeded--"As
+you say, people's different. We can't be hail fellow well met, with Tom,
+Dick, and Harry--but for my part I think myself as good as anybody!"
+
+No one contradicted this opinion, and just then a gentleman came up and
+said to the young lady--"Miss Atwood, allow me to present you with a
+sprig of the last wild roses of the season. I found a few still
+lingering on a bush in a shady lane just above."
+
+    "'I bid their blossoms in my bonnet wave,'"
+
+said Miss Atwood--inserting them amid one of the riband bows.
+
+"Atwood--Atwood," said Aunt Quimby, "I know the name very well. Is not
+your father Charles Atwood, who used to keep a large wholesale store in
+Front street?"
+
+"I have the happiness of being that gentleman's daughter," replied the
+young lady.
+
+"And you live up Chestnut now, don't you--among the fashionables?"
+
+"My father's house _is_ up Chestnut street."
+
+"Your mother was a Ross, wasn't she?"
+
+"Her maiden name _was_ Ross."
+
+"I thought so," proceeded Mrs. Quimby; "I remember your father very
+well. He was the son of Tommy Atwood, who kept an ironmonger's shop down
+Second street by the New Market. Your grandfather was a very obliging
+man, rather fat. I have often been in his store, when we lived down that
+way. I remember once of buying a waffle-iron of him, and when I tried it
+and found it did not make a pretty pattern on the waffles, I took it
+back to him to change it: but having no other pattern, he returned me
+the money as soon as I asked him. And another time, he had the kitchen
+tongs mended for me without charging a cent, when I put him in mind that
+I had bought them there; which was certainly very genteel of him. And no
+wonder he made a fortune; as all people do that are obliging to their
+customers, and properly thankful to them. Your grandfather had a
+brother, Jemmy Atwood, who kept a china shop up Third street. He was
+your great-uncle, and he married Sally Dickison, whose father, old Adam
+Dickison, was in the shoemaking line, and died rich. I have heard Mr.
+Quimby tell all about them. He knew all the family quite well, and he
+once had a sort of notion of Sally Dickison himself, before he got
+acquainted with me. Old Adam Dickison was a very good man, but he and
+his wife were rather too fond of family names. He called one of his
+daughters Sarah, after his mother, and another Sarah, after his wife;
+for he said 'there couldn't be too many Sally Dickisons.' But they found
+afterwards they could not get along without tacking Ann to one of the
+Sarahs, and Jane to the other. Then they had a little girl whom they
+called Debby, after some aunt Deborah. But little Debby died, and next
+they had a boy; yet rather than the name should be lost, they christened
+him Debbius. I wish I could remember whether Debbius was called after
+the little Debby or the big one. Sometimes I think it was one and
+sometimes t'other--I dare say Miss Atwood, you can tell, as you belong
+to the family?"
+
+"I am glad that I can set this question at rest," replied Miss Atwood,
+smiling heroically; "I have heard the circumstance mentioned when my
+father has spoken of his great-uncle Jemmy, the chinaman, and of the
+shoemaker's family into which uncle Jemmy married, and in which were the
+two Sallys. Debbius was called equally after his sister and his aunt."
+
+Then turning to the very handsome and _distingue_-looking young
+gentleman who had brought her the flowers, and who had seemed much
+amused at the foregoing dialogue, Miss Atwood took his hand, and said to
+Aunt Quimby: "Let me present to you a grandson of that very Debbius, Mr.
+Edward Symmington, my sort of cousin; and son of Mr. Symmington, the
+lawyer, who chanced to marry Debbius's daughter."
+
+Young Symmington laughed, and, after telling Miss Atwood that she did
+everything with a good grace, he proposed that they should join some of
+their friends who were amusing themselves further up in the woods. Miss
+Atwood took his arm, and, bowing to Mrs. Quimby, they departed.
+
+"That's a very pleasant young lady," said she; "I am glad I've got
+acquainted with her. She's very much like her grandfather, the
+ironmonger; her nose is the very image of old Benny's."
+
+Fearing that _their_ turn might come next, all the young people now
+dispersed from the vicinity of Aunt Quimby, who, accosting a housewifely
+lady that had volunteered to superintend the arrangements of the table,
+proposed going with her to see the baskets unpacked.
+
+The remainder of the morning passed pleasantly away; and about noon,
+Myrtilla Cheston and her companions, returning from their ramble, gave
+notice that the carriages from town were approaching. Shortly after,
+there appeared at the entrance of the wood, several vehicles filled with
+ladies and gentlemen, who had preferred this mode of conveyance to
+coming up in the early boat. Most of the company went to meet them,
+being curious to see exactly who alighted.
+
+When the last carriage drew up, there was a buzz all round: "There is
+the Baron! there is the Baron Von Klingenberg; as usual, with Mrs. Blake
+Bentley and her daughters!"
+
+After the new arrivals had been conducted by the Chestons to the house,
+and adjusted their dresses, they were shown into what was considered the
+drawing-room part of the woods, and accommodated with seats. But it was
+very evident that Mrs. Blake Bentley's party were desirous of keeping
+chiefly to themselves, talking very loudly to each other, and seemingly
+resolved to attract the attention of every one round.
+
+"Bromley," said Mrs. Quimby, having called Captain Cheston to her, "is
+that a baron?"
+
+"That is the Baron Von Klingenberg."
+
+"Well, between ourselves, he's about as ugly a man as ever I laid my
+eyes on. At least, he looks so at that distance; a clumsy fellow, with
+high shoulders and a round back, and his face all over hair, and as
+bandy as he can be, besides; and he's not a bit young, neither."
+
+"Barons never seem to me young," said Miss Turretville, a young lady of
+the romantic school, "but Counts always do."
+
+"I declare even Mr. Smith is better looking," pursued Aunt Quimby,
+fixing her eyes on the baron; "don't you think so, Miss?"
+
+"I think nothing about him," replied the fair Turretville.
+
+"Mr. Smith," said Myrtilla, "perhaps is not actually ugly, and, if
+properly dressed, might look tolerably; but he is too meek and too weak.
+I wasted much time in trying to entertain him, as I sat under the tree;
+but he only looked down and simpered, and scarcely ventured a word in
+reply. One thing is certain, I shall take no further account of him."
+
+"Now, Myrtilla, it's a shame, to set your face against the poor man in
+this way. I dare say he is very good."
+
+"That is always said of stupid people."
+
+"No doubt it would brighten him wonderfully, if you were to dance with
+him when the ball begins."
+
+"Dance!" said Myrtilla, "dance with _him_. Do you suppose he knows
+either a step or a figure? No, no! I shall take care never to exhibit
+myself as Mr. Smith's partner, and I beg of you, Aunt Quimby, on no
+account to hint such a thing to him. Besides, I am already engaged three
+sets deep," and she ran away, on seeing that Mr. Smith was approaching.
+
+"Well, Mr. Smith," said the old lady, "have you been looking at the
+shows of the place? And now the greatest show of all has arrived--the
+Baron of Clinkanbeg. Have you seen him?"
+
+"I believe I have," replied Mr. Smith.
+
+"You wander about like a lost sheep, Mr. Smith," said Aunt Quimby,
+protectingly, "and look as if you had not a word to throw at a dog; so
+sit down and talk to _me_. There's a dead log for you. And now you
+shan't stir another step till dinner-time." Mr. Smith seated himself on
+the dead log, and Mrs. Quimby proceeded: "I wish, though, we could find
+places a little nearer to the baron and his ladies, and hear them talk.
+Till to-day, I never heard a nobleman speak in my life, having had no
+chance. But, after all, I dare say they have voices much like other
+people. Did you ever happen to hear any of them talk, when you lived in
+England?"
+
+"Once or twice, I believe," said Mr. Smith.
+
+"Of course--excuse me, Mr. Smith--but, of course, they didn't speak to
+_you_?"
+
+"If I recollect rightly, they chanced to have occasion to do so."
+
+"On business, I suppose. Do noblemen go to shops themselves and buy
+their own things? Mr. Smith, just please to tell me what line you are
+in."
+
+Mr. Smith looked very red, and cast down his eyes. "I am in the tin
+line," said he, after a pause.
+
+"The tin line! Well, never mind; though, to be sure, I did not expect
+you were a tinner. Perhaps you do a little also in the japan way?"
+
+"No," replied Mr. Smith, magnanimously, "I deal in nothing but tin,
+plain tin!"
+
+"Well, if you think of opening a shop in Philadelphia, I am pretty sure
+Billy Fairfowl will give you his custom; and I'll try to get Mrs.
+Pattypan and Mrs. Kettleworth to buy all their tins of you."
+
+Mr. Smith bowed his head in thankfulness.
+
+"One thing I'm sure of," continued Aunt Quimby, "you'll never be the
+least above your business. And, I dare say, after you get used to our
+American ways, and a little more acquainted with our people, you'll be
+able to take courage and hold up your head, and look about quite pert."
+
+Poor Mr. Smith covered his face with his hands and shook his head, as if
+repelling the possibility of his ever looking pert.
+
+The Baron Von Klingenberg and his party were all on chairs, and formed
+an impervious group. Mrs. Blake Bentley sat on one side of him, her
+eldest daughter on the other, the second and third Miss Bentleys
+directly in front, and the fourth, a young lady of eighteen, who
+affected infantine simplicity and passed for a child, seated herself
+innocently on the grass at the baron's feet. Mrs. Bentley was what some
+call a fine-looking woman, being rather on a large scale, with fierce
+black eyes, a somewhat acquiline nose, a set of very white teeth (from
+the last new dentist), very red cheeks, and a profusion of dark
+ringlets. Her dress, and that of her daughters, was always of the most
+costly description, their whole costume being made and arranged in an
+ultra fashionable manner. Around the Bentley party was a circle of
+listeners, and admirers, and enviers; and behind that circle was another
+and another. Into the outworks of the last, Aunt Quimby pushed her way,
+leading, or rather pulling, the helpless Mr. Smith along with her.
+
+The Baron Von Klingenberg (to do him justice) spoke our language with
+great facility, his foreign accent being so slight that many thought
+they could not perceive it at all. Looking over the heads of the ladies
+immediately around him, he levelled his opera-glass at all who were
+within his view, occasionally inquiring about them of Mrs. Blake
+Bentley, who also could not see without her glass. She told him the
+names of those whom she considered the most fashionable, adding,
+confidentially, a disparaging remark upon each. Of a large proportion of
+the company, she affected, however, to know nothing, replying to the
+baron's questions with: "Oh! I really cannot tell you. They are people
+whom one does not know--very respectable, no doubt; but not the sort of
+persons one meets in society. You must be aware that on these occasions
+the company is always more or less mixed, for which reason I generally
+bring my own party along with me."
+
+"This assemblage," said the baron, "somewhat reminds me of the annual
+_fetes_ I give to my serfs in the park that surrounds my castle, at the
+cataract of the Rhine."
+
+Miss Turretville had just come up, leaning on the arm of Myrtilla
+Cheston. "Let us try to get nearer to the baron," said she; "he is
+talking about castles. Oh! I am so glad that I have been introduced to
+him. I met him the other evening at Mrs. De Mingle's select party, and
+he took my fan out of my hand and fanned himself with it. There is
+certainly an elegant ease about European gentlemen that our Americans
+can never acquire."
+
+"Where is the ease and elegance of Mr. Smith?" thought Myrtilla, as she
+looked over at that forlorn individual shrinking behind Aunt Quimby.
+
+"As I was saying," pursued the baron, lolling back in his chair and
+applying to his nose Mrs. Bentley's magnificent essence-bottle, "when I
+give these _fetes_ to my serfs, I regale them with Westphalia hams from
+my own hunting-grounds, and with hock from my own vineyards."
+
+"Dear me! ham and hock!" ejaculated Mrs. Quimby.
+
+"Baron," said Miss Turretville, "I suppose you have visited the Hartz
+mountains?"
+
+"My castle stands on one of them."
+
+"Charming! Then you have seen the Brocken?"
+
+"It is directly in front of my ramparts."
+
+"How delightful! Do you never imagine that on a stormy night you hear
+the witches riding through the air, to hold their revels on the Brocken?
+Are there still brigands in the Black Forest?"
+
+"Troops of them. The Black Forest is just back of my own woods. The
+robbers were once so audacious as to attack my castle, and we had a
+bloody fight. But we at length succeeded in taking all that were left
+alive."
+
+"What a pity! Was their captain anything like Charles de Moor?"
+
+"Just such a man."
+
+"Baron," observed Myrtilla, a little mischievously, "the situation of
+your castle must be _unique_; in the midst of the Hartz mountains, at
+the falls of the Rhine, with the Brocken in front, and the Black Forest
+behind."
+
+"You doat on the place, don't you?" asked Miss Turretville. "Do you live
+there always?"
+
+"No; only in the hunting season. I am equally at home in all the
+capitals of the continent. I might, perhaps, be chiefly at my native
+place, Vienna, only my friend, the emperor, is never happy but when I am
+with him; and his devotion to me is rather overwhelming. The truth is,
+one gets surfeited with courts, and kings, and princes; so I thought it
+would be quite refreshing to take a trip to America, having great
+curiosity to see what sort of a place it is. I recollect, at the last
+court ball, the emperor was teazing me to waltz with his cousin, the
+Archduchess of Hesse Hoblingen, who, he feared, would be offended if I
+neglected her. But her serene highness dances as if she had a
+cannon-ball chained to each foot, and so I got off by flatly telling my
+friend the emperor that if women chose to go to balls in velvet and
+ermine, and with coronets on their heads, they might get princes or some
+such people to dance with them; as for my part, it was rather
+excruciating to whirl about with persons in heavy royal robes!"
+
+"Is it possible!" exclaimed Miss Turretville, "did you venture to talk
+so to an emperor? Of course before next day you were loaded with chains
+and immured in a dungeon; from which I suppose you escaped by a
+subterranean passage."
+
+"Not at all; my old crony the emperor knows his man; so he only laughed
+and slapped me on the shoulder, and I took his arm, and we sauntered off
+together to the other end of the grand saloon. I think I was in my
+hussar uniform; I recollect that evening I broke my quizzing glass, and
+had to borrow the Princess of Saxe Blinkenberg's."
+
+"Was it very elegant--set round with diamonds?" asked Miss Matilda
+Bentley, putting up to her face a hand on which glittered a valuable
+brilliant.
+
+"Quite likely it was, but I never look at diamonds; one gets so tired of
+them. I have not worn any of mine these seven years; I often joke with
+my friend Prince Esterhazy about his diamond coat, that he _will_
+persist in wearing on great occasions. Its glitter really incommodes my
+eyes when he happens to be near me, as he generally is. Whenever he
+moves you may track him by the gems that drop from it, and you may hear
+him far off by their continual tinkling as they fall."
+
+"Only listen to that, Mr. Smith," said Aunt Quimby aside to her
+protegee, "I do not believe there is such a man in the world as that
+Hester Hazy with his diamond coat, that he's telling all this rigmarole
+about. It sounds like one of Mother Bunch's tales."
+
+"I rather think there is such a man," said Mr. Smith.
+
+"Nonsense, Mr. Smith, why you're a greater goose than I supposed!"
+
+Mr. Smith assented by a meek bow.
+
+Dinner was now announced. The gentlemen conducted the ladies, and Aunt
+Quimby led Mr. Smith; but she could not prevail on him to take a seat
+beside her, near the head of the table, and directly opposite to the
+Baron and his party. He humbly insisted on finding a place for himself
+very low down, and seemed glad to get into the neighbourhood of Captain
+Cheston, who presided at the foot.
+
+The Blake Bentley party all levelled their glasses at Aunt Quimby; but
+the old lady stood fire amazingly well, being busily engaged in
+preparing her silk gown against the chance of injury from any possible
+accident, tucking a napkin into her belt, pinning a pocket handkerchief
+across the body of her dress, turning up her cuffs, and tying back the
+strings of her cap to save the ribbon from grease-spots.
+
+The dinner was profuse, excellent, and handsomely arranged: and for a
+while most of the company were too earnestly occupied in satisfying
+their appetites to engage much in conversation. Aunt Quimby sent a
+waiter to Captain Cheston to desire him to take care of poor Mr. Smith:
+which message the waiter thought it unnecessary to deliver.
+
+Mrs. Blake Bentley and her daughter Matilda sat one on each side of the
+Baron, and showed rather more assiduity in helping him than is customary
+from ladies to gentlemen. Also their solicitude in anticipating his
+wants was a work of super-erogation, for the Baron could evidently take
+excellent care of himself, and was unremitting in his applications to
+every one round him for everything within their reach, and loud and
+incessant in his calls to the waiters for clean plates and clean
+glasses.
+
+When the dessert was set on, and the flow of soul was succeeding to the
+feast which, whether of reason or not, had been duly honoured, Mrs.
+Quimby found leisure to look round, and resume her colloquy.
+
+"I believe, madam, your name is Bentley," said she to the lofty looking
+personage directly opposite.
+
+"I am Mrs. Blake Bentley," was the reply, with an imperious stare that
+was intended to frown down all further attempts at conversation. But
+Aunt Quimby did not comprehend repulsion, and had never been silenced in
+her life--so she proceeded--
+
+"I remember your husband very well. He was a son of old Benny Bentley up
+Second street, that used to keep the sign of the Adam and Eve, but
+afterwards changed it to the Liberty Tree. His wife was a Blake--that
+was the way your husband came by his name. Her father was an
+upholsterer, and she worked at the trade before she was married. She
+made two bolsters and three pillows for me at different times; though
+I'm not quite sure it was not two pillows and three bolsters. He had a
+brother, Billy Blake, that was a painter: so he must have been your
+husband's uncle."
+
+"Excuse me," said Mrs. Blake Bentley, "I don't understand what you are
+talking about. But I'm very sure there were never any artist people in
+the family."
+
+"Oh! Billy Blake was a painter and glazier both," resumed Mrs. Quimby;
+"I remember him as well as if he was my own brother. We always sent for
+him to mend our broken windows. I can see him now--coming with his glass
+box and his putty. Poor fellow, he was employed to put a new coat of
+paint on Christ Church steeple, which we thought would be a good job for
+him: but the scaffold gave way and he fell down and broke his leg. We
+lived right opposite, and saw him tumble. It's a mercy he wasn't killed
+right out. He was carried home on a hand-barrow. I remember the
+afternoon as well as if it were yesterday. We had a pot-pie for dinner
+that day; and I happened to have on a new calico gown, a green ground
+with a yellow sprig in it. I have some of the pieces now in patch-work."
+
+Mrs. Blake Bentley gave Mrs. Quimby a look of unqualified disdain, and
+then turning to the baron, whispered him to say something that might
+stop the mouth of that abominable old woman. And by way of beginning she
+observed aloud, "Baron, what very fine plums these are!"
+
+"Yes," said the baron, helping himself to them profusely, "and apropos
+to plums--one day when I happened to be dining with the king of Prussia,
+there were some very fine peaches at table (we were sitting, you know,
+trifling, over the dessert), and the king said to me, 'Klingenberg, my
+dear fellow, let's try which of us can first break that large
+looking-glass by shooting a peach-stone at it.'"
+
+"Dear me! what a king!" interrupted Mrs. Quimby, "and now I look at you
+again, sir (there, just now, with your head turned to the light),
+there's something in your face that puts me in mind of Jacob Stimbel,
+our Dutch young man that used to live with us and help to do the work.
+Mr. Quimby bought him at the wharf out of a redemptioner ship. He was to
+serve us three years: but before his time was up be ran away (as they
+often do) and went to Lancaster, and set up his old trade of a
+carpenter, and married a bricklayer's daughter, and got rich and built
+houses, and had three or four sons--I think I heard that one of them
+turned out a pretty bad fellow. I can see Jake Stimbel now, carrying the
+market-basket after me, or scrubbing the pavement. Whenever I look at
+you I think of him; may be he was some relation of yours, as you both
+came from Germany?"
+
+"A relation of mine, madam!" said the Baron.
+
+"There now--there's Jake Stimbel to the life. He had just that way of
+stretching up his eyes and drawing down his mouth when he did not know
+what to say, which was usually the case after he stayed on errands."
+
+The baron contracted his brows, and bit in his lips.
+
+"Fix your face as you will," continued Mrs. Quimby, "you are as like him
+as you can look. I am sure I ought to remember Jacob Stimbel, for I had
+all the trouble of teaching him to do his work, besides learning him to
+talk American; and as soon as he had learnt, he cleared himself off, as
+I told you, and ran away from us."
+
+The baron now turned to Matilda Bentley, and endeavoured to engage her
+attention by an earnest conversation in an under tone; and Mrs. Bentley
+looked daggers at Aunt Quimby, who said in a low voice to a lady that
+sat next to her, "What a pity Mrs. Bentley has such a violent way with
+her eyes. She'd be a handsome woman if it was not for that."
+
+Then resuming her former tone, the impenetrable old lady continued,
+"Some of these Dutch people that came over German redemptioners, and
+were sold out of ships, have made great fortunes." And then turning to a
+lady who sat on the other side, she proceeded to enumerate various
+wealthy and respectable German families whose grandfathers and
+grandmothers had been sold out of ships. Bromley Cheston, perceiving
+that several of the company were wincing under this infliction, proposed
+a song from one of the young officers whom he knew to be an accomplished
+vocalist. This song was succeeded by several others, and during the
+singing the Blake Bentley party gradually slipped away from the table.
+
+After dinner the company withdrew and dispersed themselves among the
+trees, while the servants, &c., were dining. Mrs. Cheston vainly did her
+utmost to prevail on Aunt Quimby to go to the house and take a _siesta_.
+"What for?" said Mrs. Quimby, "why should I go to sleep when I ain't a
+bit sleepy. I never was wider awake in my life. No, no--these parties
+don't come every day; and I'll make the most of this now I have had the
+good luck to be at it. But, bless me! now I think of it, I have not laid
+eyes on Mr. Smith these two hours--I hope he is not lost. When did he
+leave the table? Who saw him go? He's not used to being in the woods,
+poor man!"
+
+The sound of the tambourine now denoted the approach of the musicians,
+and the company adjourned to the dancing ground, which was a wide
+opening in the woods shaded all round with fine trees, under which
+benches had been placed. For the orchestra a little wooden gallery had
+been erected about eight feet from the ground, running round the trunk
+and amid the spreading boughs of an immense hickory.
+
+The dancers had just taken their places for the first set, when they
+were startled by the shrieks of a woman, which seemed to ascend from the
+river-beach below. The gentlemen and many of the ladies ran to the edge
+of the bank to ascertain the cause, and Aunt Quimby, looking down among
+the first, exclaimed, "Oh! mercy! if there isn't Mr. Smith a collaring
+the baron, and Miss Matilda a screaming for dear life!"
+
+"The baron collaring Mr. Smith, you mean," said Myrtilla, approaching
+the bank.
+
+"No, no--I mean as I say. Why who'd think it was in Mr. Smith to do such
+a thing! Oh! see, only look how he shakes him. And now he gives him a
+kick, only think of doing all that to a baron! but I dare say he
+deserves it. He looks more like Jake Stimbel than ever."
+
+Captain Cheston sprung down the bank (most of the other gentlemen
+running after him), and immediately reaching the scene of action rescued
+the foreigner, who seemed too frightened to oppose any effectual
+resistance to his assailant.
+
+"Mr. Smith," said Captain Cheston, "what is the meaning of this
+outrage,--and in the presence of a lady, too!"
+
+"The lady must excuse me," replied Mr. Smith, "for it is in her behalf I
+have thus forgotten myself so far as to chastise on the spot a
+contemptible villain. Let us convey Miss Bentley up the bank, for she
+seems greatly agitated, and I will then explain to the gentlemen the
+extraordinary scene they have just witnessed."
+
+"Only hear Mr. Smith, how he's talking out!" exclaimed Aunt Quimby. "And
+there's the baron-fellow putting up his coat collar and sneaking off
+round the corner of the bank. I'm so glad he's turned out a scamp!"
+
+Having reached the top of the bank, Matilda Bentley, who had nearly
+fainted, was laid on a bench and consigned to the care of her mother and
+sisters. A flood of tears came to her relief, and while she was
+indulging in them, Mrs. Bentley joined the group who were assembled
+round Mr. Smith and listening to his narrative.
+
+Mr. Smith explained that he knew this _soi-disant_ Baron Von Klingenberg
+to be an impostor and a swindler. That he had, some years since, under
+another name, made his appearance in Paris, as an American gentleman of
+German origin, and large fortune; but soon gambled away all his money.
+That he afterwards, under different appellations, visited the principal
+cities of the continent, but always left behind the reputation of a
+swindler. That he had seen him last in London, in the capacity of valet
+to the real Baron Von Klingenberg, who, intending a visit to the United
+States, had hired him as being a native of America, and familiar with
+the country and its customs. But an unforeseen circumstance having
+induced that gentleman to relinquish this transatlantic voyage, his
+American valet robbed him of a large sum of money and some valuable
+jewels, stole also the letters of introduction which had been obtained
+by the real Baron, and with them had evidently been enabled to pass
+himself for his master. To this explanation, Mr. Smith added that while
+wandering among the trees on the edge of the bank, he had seen the
+impostor on the beach below, endeavouring to persuade Miss Bentley to an
+elopement with him; proposing that they should repair immediately to a
+place in the neighbourhood, where the railroad cars stopped on their way
+to New York, and from thence proceed to that city, adding,--"You know
+there is no overtaking a railroad car, so all pursuit of us will be in
+vain; besides, when once married all will be safe, as you are of age and
+mistress of your own fortune." "Finding," continued Mr. Smith, "that he
+was likely to succeed in persuading Miss Bentley to accompany him, I
+could no longer restrain my indignation, which prompted me to rush down
+the bank and adopt summary measures in rescuing the young lady from the
+hands of so infamous a scoundrel, whom nothing but my unwillingness to
+disturb the company prevented me from exposing as soon as I saw him."
+
+"Don't believe him," screamed Mrs. Blake Bentley; "Mr. Smith indeed! Who
+is to take _his_ word? Who knows what Mr. Smith is?"
+
+"I do," said a voice from the crowd; and there stepped forward a
+gentlemen, who had arrived in a chaise with a friend about half an hour
+before. "I had the pleasure of knowing him intimately in England, when I
+was minister to the court of St. James's."
+
+"May be you bought your tins at his shop," said Aunt Quimby.
+
+The ex-ambassador in a low voice exchanged a few words with Mr. Smith;
+and then taking his hand, presented him as the Earl of Huntingford,
+adding, "The only tin he deals in is that produced by his extensive
+mines in Cornwall."
+
+The whole company were amazed into a silence of some moments: after
+which there was a general buzz of favourable remark; Captain Cheston
+shook hands with him, and all the gentlemen pressed forward to be more
+particularly introduced to Lord Huntingford.
+
+"Dear me!" said Aunt Quimby; "to think that I should have been so
+sociable with a lord--and a real one too--and to think how he drank tea
+at Billy Fairfowl's in the back parlour, and ate bread and butter just
+like any other man--and how he saved Jane, and picked up Johnny--I
+suppose I must not speak to you now, Mr. Smith, for I don't know how to
+begin calling you my lord. And you don't seem like the same man, now
+that you can look and talk like other people: and (excuse my saying so)
+even your dress looks genteeler."
+
+"Call me still Mr. Smith, if you choose," replied Lord Huntingford; and,
+turning to Captain Cheston, he continued--"Under that name I have had
+opportunities of obtaining much knowledge of your _unique_ and
+interesting country:--knowledge that will be useful to me all the
+remainder of my life, and that I could not so well have acquired in my
+real character."
+
+He then explained, that being tired of travelling in Europe, and having
+an earnest desire to see America thoroughly, and more particularly to
+become acquainted with the state of society among the middle classes
+(always the truest samples of national character), he had, on taking his
+passage in one of the Liverpool packets, given his name as Smith, and
+put on the appearance of a man in very common life, resolving to
+preserve his incognito as long as he could. His object being to observe
+and to listen, and fearing that if he talked much he might inadvertently
+betray himself, he endeavoured to acquire a habit of taciturnity. As is
+frequently the case, he rather overdid his assumed character: and was
+much amused at perceiving himself rated somewhat below mediocrity, and
+regarded as poor Mr. Smith.
+
+"But where is that Baron fellow?" said Mrs. Quimby; "I dare say he has
+sneaked off and taken the railroad himself, while we were all busy about
+Lord Smith."
+
+"He has--he has!" sobbed Miss Bentley; who in spite of her grief and
+mortification, had joined the group that surrounded the English
+nobleman; "and he has run away with my beautiful diamond ring."
+
+"Did he steal it from your finger?" asked Aunt Quimby, eagerly; "because
+if he did, you can send a constable after him."
+
+"I shall do no such thing," replied Matilda, tartly; then turning to her
+mother she added, "It was when we first went to walk by the river side.
+He took my hand and kissed it, and proposed exchanging rings--and so I
+let him have it--and he said he did not happen to have any ring of his
+own about him, but he would give me a magnificent one that had been
+presented to him by some emperor or king."
+
+"Now I think of it," exclaimed Mrs. Bentley, "he never gave me back my
+gold essence-bottle with the emerald stopper."
+
+"Now I remember," said Miss Turretville, "he did not return me the
+beautiful fan he took out of my hand the other evening at Mrs. De
+Mingle's. And I doubt also if he restored her diamond opera glass to the
+Princess of Saxe Blinkinberg."
+
+"The Princess of Saxe Fiddlestick!" exclaimed Aunt Quimby; "do you
+suppose he ever really had anything to do with such people? Between
+ourselves, I thought it was all fudge the whole time he was trying to
+make us believe he was hand and glove with women that had crowns on
+their heads, and men with diamond coats, and kings that shot peach
+stones. The more he talked, the more he looked like Jacob Stimbel--I'm
+not apt to forget people, so it would be strange if I did not remember
+our Jake; and I never saw a greater likeness."
+
+"Well, for my part," said Miss Turretville, candidly, "I really _did_
+think he had serfs, and a castle with ramparts, and I did believe in the
+banditti, and the captain just like Charles De Moor. And I grieved, as I
+often do, that here, in America, we had no such things."
+
+"Pity we should!" remarked Aunt Quimby.
+
+To be brief: the Bentleys, after what had passed, thought it best to
+order their carriage and return to the city: and on their ride home
+there was much recrimination between the lady and her eldest daughter;
+Matilda declaring, that she would never have thought of encouraging the
+addresses of such an ugly fellow as the baron, had not her mother first
+put it into her head. And as to the projected elopement, she felt very
+certain of being forgiven for that as soon as she came out a baroness.
+
+After the departure of the Bentleys, and when the excitement, caused by
+the events immediately preceding it, had somewhat subsided, it was
+proposed that the dancing should be resumed, and Lord Huntingford opened
+the ball with Mrs. Cheston, and proved that he could dance, and talk,
+and look extremely well. As soon as she was disengaged, he solicited
+Myrtilla's hand for the nest set, and she smilingly assented to his
+request. Before they began, Aunt Quimby took an opportunity of saying to
+her: "Well, Myrtilla; after all you are going to exhibit yourself, as
+you call it, with Mr. Smith."
+
+"Oh! Aunt Quimby, you must not remember anything that was said about him
+while he was incog--"
+
+"Yes, and now he's out of cog it's thought quite an honour to get a word
+or a look from him. Well--well--whether as poor simple Mr. Smith, or a
+great lord that owns whole tin mines, he'll always find _me_ exactly the
+same; now I've got over the first flurry of his being found out."
+
+"I have no doubt of that, Aunt Quimby," replied Myrtilla, giving her
+hand to Lord Huntingford, who just then came up to lead her to the
+dance.
+
+The afternoon passed rapidly away, with infinite enjoyment to the whole
+company; all of whom seemed to feel relieved by the absence of the Blake
+Bentley party. Aunt Quimby was very assiduous in volunteering to
+introduce ladies to Lord Smith, as she called him, and chaperoned him
+more than ever.
+
+The Chestons, perfectly aware that if Mrs. Quimby returned to
+Philadelphia, and proceeded to Baltimore under the escort of Mr. Smith,
+she would publish all along the road that he was a lord, and perhaps
+convert into annoyance the amusement he seemed to find in her entire
+want of tact, persuaded her to defer the Baltimore journey and pass a
+few days with them; promising to provide her with an escort there, in
+the person of an old gentleman of their neighbourhood, who was going to
+the south early next week; and whom they knew to be one of the mildest
+men in the world, and never incommoded by anything.
+
+When the fete was over, Lord Huntingford returned to the city with his
+friend, the ex-minister. At parting, he warmly expressed his delight at
+having had an opportunity of becoming acquainted with Captain Cheston
+and his ladies; and Aunt Quimby exclaimed, "It's all owing to me--if it
+had not been for me you might never have known them; I always had the
+character of bringing good luck to people: so it's no wonder I'm so
+welcome everywhere."
+
+On Captain Cheston's next visit to Philadelphia, he gathered that the
+fictitious Baron Von Klingenberg was really the reprobate son of Jacob
+Stimbel of Lancaster, and had been recognised as such by a gentleman
+from that place. That he had many years before gone to seek his fortune
+in Europe, with the wreck of some property left him by his father; where
+(as Lord Huntingford had stated) he had last been seen in London in the
+capacity of a valet to a German nobleman; and that now he had departed
+for the west, with the design, as was supposed, of gambling his way to
+New Orleans. Nothing could exceed the delight of Aunt Quimby on finding
+her impression of him so well corroborated.
+
+The old lady went to Baltimore, and found herself so happy with her dear
+crony Mrs. Bagnell, that she concluded to take up her permanent
+residence with her on the same terms on which she lived at her
+son-in-law Billy Fairfowl's, whose large family of children had, to say
+the truth, latterly caused her some inconvenience by their number and
+their noise; particularly as one of the girls was growing up so like her
+grandmother, as to out-talk her. Aunt Quimby's removal from Philadelphia
+to Baltimore was, of course, a sensible relief to the Chestons.
+
+Lord Huntingford (relinquishing the name and character of Mr. Smith)
+devoted two years to making the tour of the United States, including a
+visit to Canada; justly believing that he could not in less time
+accomplish his object of becoming _well_ acquainted with the country and
+the people. On his return through the Atlantic cities, he met with
+Captain Cheston at Norfolk, where he had just brought in his ship from a
+cruise in the Pacific. Both gentlemen were glad to renew their
+acquaintance; and they travelled together to Philadelphia, where they
+found Mrs. Cheston and Myrtilla waiting to meet the captain.
+
+Lord Huntingford became a constant visitor at the house of the Chestons.
+He found Myrtilla improved in beauty, and as he thought in everything
+else, and he felt that in all his travels through Europe and America,
+he had met with no woman so well calculated to insure his happiness in
+married life. The sister of Captain Cheston was too good a republican to
+marry a foreigner and a nobleman, merely on account of his rank and
+title: but Lord Huntingford, as a man of sense, feeling, and unblemished
+morality, was one of the best specimens of his class, and after an
+intimate acquaintance of two months, she consented to become his
+countess. They were married a few days before their departure for
+England, where Captain and Mrs. Cheston promised to make them a visit
+the ensuing spring.
+
+Emily Atwood and Mr. Symmington were bridesmaid and groomsman, and were
+themselves united the following month. Miss Turretville made a very
+advantageous match, and has settled down into a rational woman and a
+first-rate housewife. The Miss Bentleys are all single yet; but their
+mother is married to an Italian singer, who is dissipating her property
+as fast as he can, and treating her ill all the time.
+
+While in Philadelphia, Lord Huntingford did not forget to visit
+occasionally his early acquaintance, Mr. William Fairfowl (who always
+received him as if he was still Mr. Smith), and on leaving the city he
+presented an elegant little souvenir to Mrs. Fairfowl, and one to each
+of her daughters.
+
+At Lord Huntingford's desire, Mrs. Quimby was invited from Baltimore to
+be present at his wedding (though the company was small and select), and
+she did honour to the occasion by wearing an entirely new gown and cap,
+telling the cost of them to every person in the room, but declaring she
+did not grudge it in the least; and assuming to herself the entire
+credit of the match, which she averred never would have taken place if
+she had not happened to come up the river, instead of going down.
+
+The events connected with the picnic day, had certainly one singular
+effect on Aunt Quimby, who from that time protested that she always
+thought of a nobleman whenever she heard the name of Smith.
+
+Could all our readers give in their experience of the numerous Smiths
+they must have known and heard of, would not many be found who, though
+bearing that trite appellation, were noblemen of nature's own making?
+
+
+
+
+UNCLE PHILIP.
+
+     "Out spake that ancient mariner."--COLERIDGE.
+
+
+We will not be particular in designating the exact site of the
+flourishing village of Corinth; neither would we advise any of our
+readers to take the trouble of seeking it on the map. It is sufficient
+to tell them that they may consider it located on one of the banks of
+the Hudson, somewhere above the city of New York, and somewhere below
+that of Albany; and that, more than twenty years ago, the Clavering
+family occupied one of the best houses at its southern extremity.
+
+Mrs. Clavering was the widow of a storekeeper, who had always, by
+courtesy, been called a merchant, according to a prevailing custom in
+the provincial towns of America. Her husband had left her in affluent
+circumstances, and to each of her five children he had bequeathed a
+sufficient portion to furnish, when they came of age, an outfit for the
+girls and a beginning for the boys. Added to this, they had considerable
+expectations from an uncle of their mother's, a retired sea-captain, and
+a confirmed old bachelor, who had long been in the practice of paying
+the family an annual visit on returning from his India voyages. He had
+become so much attached to the children, that when he quitted the sea
+(which was soon after the death of Mr. Clavering) he had, at the request
+of his niece, removed to Corinth, and taken up his residence in her
+family.
+
+Though so far from his beloved element, the ocean, Captain Kentledge
+managed to pass his time very contentedly, taking occasional trips down
+the river to New York (particularly when a new ship was to be launched),
+and performing, every summer, an excursion to the eastward: keeping
+closely along the coast, and visiting in turn every maritime town and
+village from Newport to Portland; never omitting to diverge off to
+Nantucket, which was his native place, and from whence, when a boy, he
+had taken his first voyage in a whale ship.
+
+Uncle Philip (for so Captain Kentledge was familiarly called by Mrs.
+Clavering and her children) was a square-built man, with a broad
+weather-beaten face, and features the reverse of classical. His head was
+entirely bald, with the exception of two rough side-locks, and a long
+thin gray tress of hair, gathered into a queue, and secured with black
+ribbon. Uncle Philip was very tenacious of his queue.
+
+Like most seamen when on shore, he was singularly neat in his dress. He
+wore, all the year round, a huge blue coat, immense blue trowsers, and a
+white waistcoat of ample dimensions, the whole suit being decorated with
+gold buttons; for, as he observed, he had, in the course of his life,
+worn enough of brass buttons to be heartily tired of them: gilt ones he
+hated, because they were shams; and gold he could very well afford, and
+therefore it was his pleasure to have them. His cravat was a large black
+silk handkerchief, tied in front, with a spreading bow and long ends.
+His shirt frill was particularly conspicuous and amazingly broad, and it
+was fastened with a large oval-shaped brooch, containing under its glass
+a handsome hair-coloured device of Hope leaning on an anchor. He never
+wore boots, but always white stockings and well-blacked long-quartered
+shoes. His hat had both a wide crown and a wide brim. Every part of his
+dress was good in quality and large in quantity, denoting that he was
+above economizing in the material.
+
+Though "every inch a sailor," it must not be supposed that Captain
+Kentledge was in the constant habit of interlarding his conversation
+with sea-terms; a practice which, if it ever actually prevailed to the
+extent that has been represented in fictitious delineations of "the sons
+of the wild and warring wave," has long since been discontinued in real
+life, by all nautical men who have any pretensions to the title of
+gentlemen. A sea-captain, whose only phraseology was that of the
+forecastle, and who could talk of nothing without reference to the
+technical terms of his profession, would now be considered as obsolete a
+character "as the Lieutenant Bowlings and Commodore Trunnions of the
+last century."
+
+Next to the children of his niece, the object most beloved by Uncle
+Philip was an enormous Newfoundland dog, the companion of his last
+voyages, and his constant attendant on land and on water, in doors and
+out of doors. In the faces of Neptune and his master there was an
+obvious resemblance, which a physiognomist would have deduced from the
+similarity of their characters; and it was remarked by one of the wags
+of the village that the two animals walked exactly alike, and held out
+their paws to strangers precisely in the same manner.
+
+Mrs. Clavering, as is generally the case with mothers of the present
+day, when they consider themselves very genteel, intended one of her
+sons for the profession of physic, and the other for that of law. But in
+the mean time, Uncle Philip had so deeply imbued Sam, the eldest, with a
+predilection for the sea, that the boy's sole ambition was to unite
+himself to that hardy race, "whose march is o'er the mountain-waves,
+whose home is on the deep." And Dick, whom his mother designed for a
+lawyer, intended himself for a carpenter: his genius pointing decidedly
+to hand-work rather than to head-work. It was Uncle Philip's opinion
+that boys should never be controlled in the choice of a profession. Yet
+he found it difficult to convince Mrs. Clavering that there was little
+chance of one of her sons filling a professor's chair at a medical
+college, or of the other arriving at the rank of chief justice; but that
+as the laws of nature and the decrees of fate were not to be reversed,
+Dick would very probably build the ships that Sam would navigate.
+
+About three months before the period at which our story commences, Uncle
+Philip had set out on his usual summer excursion, and had taken with him
+not only Neptune, but Sam also, leaving Dick very much engaged in making
+a new kitchen-table with a drawer at each end. After the travellers had
+gone as far as the State of Maine, and were supposed to be on their
+return, Mrs. Clavering was surprised to receive a letter from Uncle
+Philip, dated "Off Cape Cod, lat. 42, lon. 60, wind N.N.E." The
+following were the words of this epistle:--
+
+     "DEAR NIECE KITTY CLAVERING: I take this opportunity of informing
+     you, by a fishing-boat that is just going into the harbour, that
+     being on Long Wharf, Boston, yesterday at 7 A. M., and finding
+     there the schooner Winthrop about to sail for Cuba, and the
+     schooner being commanded by a son of my old ship-mate, Ben
+     Binnacle, and thinking it quite time that Sam should begin to see
+     the world (as he was fifteen the first of last April), and that so
+     good an opportunity should not be lost, I concluded to let him have
+     a taste of the sea by giving him a run down to the West Indies. Sam
+     was naturally very glad, and so was Neptune; and Sam being under my
+     care, I, of course, felt in duty bound to go along with him. The
+     schooner Winthrop is as fine a sea-boat as ever swam, and young Ben
+     Binnacle is as clever a fellow as his father. We are very well off
+     for hands, the crew being young Ben's brother and three of his
+     cousins (all from Marblehead, and all part owners), besides Sam and
+     myself, and Neptune, and black Bob, the cabin-boy. So you have
+     nothing to fear. And even if we should have a long passage, there
+     is no danger of our starving, for most of the cargo is pork and
+     onions, and the rest is turkeys, potatoes, flour, butter, and
+     cheese.
+
+     "You may calculate on finding Sam greatly improved by the voyage.
+     Going to sea will cure him of all his awkward tricks, as you call
+     them, and give him an opportunity of showing what he really is. He
+     went out of Boston harbour perched on the end of the foresail boom,
+     and was at the mainmast head before we had cleared the light-house.
+     To-morrow I shall teach him to take an observation. Young Ben
+     Binnacle has an excellent quadrant that was his father's. We shall
+     be back in a few weeks, and bring you pine-apples and parrots.
+     Shall write from Havana, if I have time.
+
+     "Till then, yours,
+
+     "PHILIP KENTLEDGE.
+
+     "P. S. Neptune is very happy at finding himself at sea again. Give
+     our love to Dick and the girls.
+
+     "N. B. We took care to have our trunk brought on board before we
+     got under way. Though we have a stiff breeze, Sam is not yet
+     sea-sick, having set his face against it.
+
+     "2d P. S. Don't take advantage of my absence to put the girls in
+     corsets, as you did when I was away last summer.
+
+     "2d N. B. Remember to send old Tom Tarpaulin his weekly allowance
+     of tobacco all the time I am gone. You know I promised, when I
+     first found him at Corinth, to keep him in tobacco as long as he
+     lived; and if you forget to furnish it punctually, the poor fellow
+     will be obliged to take his own money to buy it with."
+
+This elopement, as Mrs. Clavering called it, caused at first great
+consternation in the family, but she soon consoled herself with the idea
+that 'twas well it was no worse, for if Uncle Philip had found a vessel
+going to China, commanded by an old ship-mate, or a ship-mate's son, he
+would scarcely have hesitated to have acted as he had done in this
+instance. The two younger girls grieved that in all probability Sam had
+gone without gingerbread, which, they had heard, was a preventive to
+sea-sickness; but Fanny, the elder, remarked that it was more probable
+he had his pockets full, as, from Uncle Philip's account, he continued
+perfectly well. "Whatever Uncle Philip may say," observed Fanny, very
+judiciously, "Sam must, of course, have known that gingerbread is a more
+certain remedy for sea-sickness than merely setting one's face against
+it." Dick's chief regret was, that not knowing beforehand of their trip
+to the West Indies, he had lost the opportunity of sending by them for
+some mahogany.
+
+In about four weeks, the Clavering family was set at ease by a letter
+from Sam himself, dated Havana. It detailed at full length the delights
+of the voyage, and the various qualifications of black Bob, the
+cabin-boy, and it was finished by two postscripts from Uncle Philip; one
+celebrating the rapid progress of Sam in nautical knowledge, and another
+stating that they should return in the schooner Winthrop.
+
+They did return--Uncle Philip bringing with him, among other West India
+productions, a barrel of pine-apples for Mrs. Clavering, and three
+parrots, one for each of his young nieces; to all of whom he observed
+the strictest impartiality in distributing his favours. Also, a large
+box for Dick, filled with numerous specimens of tropical woods.
+
+It was evening when they arrived at Corinth, and they walked up directly
+from the steamboat wharf to Mrs. Clavering's house; leaving their
+baggage to follow in a cart. Intending to give the family a pleasant
+surprise, they stole cautiously in at the gate, and walked on the grass
+to avoid making a noise with their shoes on the gravel. As usual at this
+hour, a light shone through the Venetian shutters of the
+parlour-windows. But our voyagers listened in vain for the well-known
+sounds of noisy mirth excited by the enjoyment of various little games
+and plays in which it was usual for the children to pass the interval
+between tea and bed-time; a laudable custom, instituted by Uncle Philip
+soon after he became one of the family.
+
+"I hope all may be right," whispered the old captain, as he ascended
+the steps of the front porch, "I don't hear the least sound."
+
+They sat down the three parrot-cages, which they had carried themselves
+from the wharf, and then went up to the windows and reconnoitered
+through the shutters. They saw the whole family seated round the table,
+busily employed with books and writing materials, and all perfectly
+silent. Uncle Philip now hastily threw open the front door, and,
+followed by Sam, made his appearance in the parlour, exclaiming--
+
+"Why, what is all this? Not hearing any noise as we came along, we
+concluded there must be sickness, or death in the house."
+
+"We are not dead yet," said Dick, starting up, "though we are learning
+French."
+
+In an instant the books were abandoned, the table nearly overset in
+getting from behind it, and the whole group hung round the voyagers,
+delighted at their return, and overwhelming them with questions and
+caresses. In a moment there came prancing into the room the dog Neptune,
+who had remained behind to guard the baggage-cart, which had now arrived
+at the front gate. The faithful animal was literally received with open
+arms by all the children, and when he had nearly demolished little Anne
+by the roughness of his gambols, she only exclaimed--"Oh! never
+mind--never mind. I am so glad to have Neptune back again, that I don't
+care, if he _does_ tear my new pink frock all to tatters."
+
+Mrs. Clavering made a faint attempt at reproaching Uncle Philip for thus
+stealing a march and carrying off her son, but the old captain turned it
+all into a subject of merriment, and pointed out to her Sam's ruddy
+looks and improved height; and his good fortune in having a brown skin,
+which, on being exposed to the air and sun of the ocean, only deepened
+its manly tint, instead of being disfigured by freckles. On Mrs.
+Clavering remarking that her poor boy had learnt the true balancing gait
+of a sailor, the uncle and nephew exchanged glances of congratulation;
+and Sam, in the course of the evening, took frequent occasions to get up
+and walk across the room, by way of displaying this new accomplishment.
+
+As Mrs. Clavering understood that her uncle and son had not yet had
+their supper, she quitted the room "on hospitable thoughts intent,"
+while the children were listening with breathless interest to a minute
+detail of the voyage; Sam leaning over the back of his uncle's great
+chair, into which Fanny had squeezed herself beside the old gentleman,
+who held Jane on one knee and Anne on the other; and Dick making a seat
+of the dog Neptune, who lay at his master's feet.
+
+"Who are those people talking in the porch?" asked little Anne,
+interrupting her uncle to listen to the strange sounds that issued from
+without.
+
+"Oh! they are the parrots," said Sam, laughing, "I wonder they should
+have been forgotten so long."
+
+"Parrots!" exclaimed all the children at once, and in a moment every one
+of the young people were out in the porch, and the cages were carried
+into the parlour. The parrots were duly admired, and made to go through
+all their phrases, of which (being very smart parrots) they had learnt
+an infinite variety, and Uncle Philip told the girls to draw lots for
+the first choice of these new pets. Dick supplying for that purpose
+little sticks of unequal lengths. After this the box of tropical woods
+was opened, and Dick's happiness became too great for utterance.
+
+Supper was now brought in, and placed by Mrs. Clavering's order on a
+little table in the corner, it not being worth while, as she said, to
+remove the books and writing apparatus from the centre-table, as the
+lessons must be shortly resumed.
+
+"What lessons are these," said Uncle Philip, "on which you seem so
+intent? Before I went away there was no lesson-learning of evenings.
+Have Mr. Fulmer and Miss Hickman adopted a new plan? I think, children,
+I have heard you say that your lessons were very short, and that you
+always learned them in school, which was one reason, why I approved of
+Mr. Fulmer for the boys, and Miss Hickman for the girls. I never could
+bear the idea of poor children being forced to spend their play-time in
+learning lessons. The school hours are long enough in all conscience."
+
+"Oh--we don't go to Miss Hickman now," exclaimed the girls:--"And I
+don't go any longer to Mr. Fulmer," cried Dick, with something like a
+sigh.
+
+"And where do you go, then?" inquired Uncle Philip.
+
+"We go to Monsieur and Madame Franchimeau's French Study," replied Dick.
+"He teaches the boys, and she the girls--and our lessons are so long
+that it takes us the whole evening to learn them, and write our
+exercises. We are kept in school from eight in the morning till three in
+the afternoon. And then at four we go back again, and stay till dusk,
+trying to read and talk French with Monsieur and Madame Ravigote, the
+father and mother of Madame Franchimeau."
+
+"What's all this?" said Uncle Philip, laying down his knife and fork.
+
+Mrs. Clavering, after silencing Dick with a significant look, proceeded
+to explain--
+
+"Why, uncle," said she, "you must know that immediately after you left
+us, there came to Corinth a very elegant French family, and their
+purpose was to establish an Institute, or Study, as they now call it, in
+which, according to the last new system of education, everything is to
+be learnt in French. Mrs. Apesley, Mrs. Nedging, Mrs. Pinxton, Mrs.
+Slimbridge and myself, with others of the leading ladies of Corinth, had
+long wished for such an opportunity of having our children properly
+instructed, and we all determined to avail ourselves of it. We called
+immediately on the French ladies, who are very superior women, and we
+resolved at once to bring them into fashion by showing them every
+possible attention. We understood, also, that before Monsieur
+Franchimeau and his family came to Corinth, they had been on the other
+side of the river, and had visited Tusculum with a view of locating
+themselves in that village. But these polished and talented strangers
+were not in the least appreciated by the Tusculans, who are certainly a
+coarse and vulgar people; and therefore it became the duty of us
+Corinthians to prove to them our superiority in gentility and
+refinement."
+
+"I thought as much," said Uncle Philip; "I knew it would come out this
+way. So the Corinthians are learning French out of spite to the
+Tusculans. And I suppose, when these Monsieurs and Madames have done
+making fools of the people of this village, they will move higher up the
+river, and monkeyfy all before them between this and Albany. For, of
+course, the Hyde Parkers will learn French to spite the New Paltzers,
+and the Hudsonians to spite the Athenians, and the Kinderhookers to
+spite the--"
+
+"Now, uncle, do hush," said Mrs. Clavering, interrupting him; "how can
+you make a jest of a thing from which we expect to derive so much
+benefit?"
+
+"I am not jesting at all," replied Uncle Philip; "I fear it is a thing
+too serious to laugh at. But why do you say _we_? I hope, Kitty
+Clavering, _you_ are not making a fool of yourself, and turning
+school-girl again?"
+
+"I certainly do take lessons in French," replied Mrs. Clavering. "Mrs.
+Apesley, Mrs. Nedging, Mrs. Pinxton, Mrs. Slimbridge and myself, have
+formed a class for that purpose."
+
+"Mrs. Apesley has eleven children," said Uncle Philip.
+
+"Yes," replied Mrs. Clavering, "but the youngest is more than two years
+old. And Mrs. Nedging has only three."
+
+"True," observed the uncle; "one of them is an idiot boy that can
+neither hear, speak, nor use any of his limbs; the others are a couple
+of twin babies, that were only two months old when I went away."
+
+"But they are remarkably good babies," answered Mrs. Clavering, "and can
+bear very well to have their mother out of their sight."
+
+"And Mrs. Pinxton," said Uncle Philip, "has, ever since the death of her
+husband, presided over a large hotel, which, if properly attended to,
+ought to furnish her with employment for eighteen hours out of the
+twenty-four."
+
+"Oh! but she has an excellent barkeeper," replied Mrs. Clavering, "and
+she has lately got a cook from New York, to whom she gives thirty
+dollars a month, and she has promoted her head-chambermaid to the rank
+of housekeeper. Mrs. Pinxton herself is no longer to be seen going
+through the house as she formerly did. You would not suppose that there
+was any mistress belonging to the establishment."
+
+"So much the worse," said Uncle Philip, "both for the mistress and the
+establishment. Well, and let me ask, if Mrs. Slimbridge's husband has
+recovered his health during my absence?"
+
+"Oh! no, he is worse than ever," replied Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"And still," resumed Uncle Philip, "with an invalid husband, who
+requires her constant care and attention, Mrs. Slimbridge can find it in
+her heart to neglect him, and waste her time in taking lessons that she
+may learn to read French (though I am told their books are all about
+nothing), and to talk French, though I cannot for my life see who she is
+to talk to."
+
+"There is no telling what advantage she may not derive from it in future
+life," remarked Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"I can tell her one thing," said Uncle Philip, "when poor Slimbridge
+dies, her French will never help her to a second husband. No man ever
+married a woman because she had learnt French."
+
+"Indeed, uncle," replied Mrs. Clavering, "your prejudices against
+everything foreign are so strong, that it is in vain for me to oppose
+them. To-night, at least, I shall not say another word on the subject."
+
+"Well, well, Kitty," said Uncle Philip, shaking her kindly by the hand,
+"we'll talk no more about it to-night, and perhaps, as you say, I ought
+to have more patience with foreigners, seeing that, as no man can choose
+his own birth-place, it is not to be expected that everybody can be born
+in America. And those that are not, are certainly objects of pity rather
+than of blame."
+
+"Very right, uncle," exclaimed Sam; "I am sure I pity all that are not
+Americans of the United States, particularly since I have been among the
+West Indian Spaniards."
+
+"Now, Kitty Clavering," said Uncle Philip, triumphantly, "you perceive
+the advantages of seeing the world: who says that Sam has not profited
+by his voyage?"
+
+The family separated for the night; and next morning Sam laughed at Dick
+for repeating his French verbs in his sleep. "No wonder," replied Dick,
+"if you knew how many verbs I have to learn every day, and how much
+difficulty I have in getting them by heart, when I am all the time
+thinking of other things, you would not be surprised at my dreaming of
+them; as people are apt to do of whatever is their greatest affliction."
+
+At breakfast, the conversation of the preceding evening was renewed, by
+Mrs. Clavering observing with much complacency,
+
+"Monsieur Franchimeau will be very happy to find that I have a new
+scholar for him."
+
+"Indeed!" said Uncle Philip; "and who else have you been pressing into
+the service?"
+
+"My son Sam, certainly," replied Mrs. Clavering. "I promised him to Mr.
+Franchimeau, and he of course has been expecting to have him immediately
+on his return from the West Indies. Undoubtedly, Sam must be allowed the
+same advantages as his brother and sisters. Not to give him an equal
+opportunity of learning French would be unjust in the extreme."
+
+"Dear mother," replied Sam, "I am quite willing to put up with that much
+injustice."
+
+"Right, my boy," exclaimed Uncle Philip; "and when you have learnt
+everything else, it will then be quite time enough to begin French."
+
+"You misunderstand entirely," said Mrs. Clavering. "The children _are_
+learning everything else. But Mr. Franchimeau goes upon the new system,
+and teaches the whole in French and out of French books. His pupils, and
+those of Madame Franchimeau, learn history, geography, astronomy,
+botany, chemistry, mathematics, logic, criticism, composition, geology,
+mineralogy, conchology, and phrenology."
+
+"Mercy on their poor heads," exclaimed Uncle Philip, interrupting her:
+"They'll every one grow up idiots. All the sense they have will be
+crushed out of them, by this unnatural business of overloading their
+minds with five times as much as they can bear. And the whole of this is
+to be learned in a foreign tongue too. Well, what next? Are they also
+taught Latin and Greek in French? And now I speak of those two
+languages--that have caused so many aching heads and aching hearts to
+poor boys that never had the least occasion to turn them to any
+account--suppose that all the lectures at the Medical Colleges were
+delivered in Latin or Greek. How much, do you think, would the students
+profit by them? Pretty doctors we should have, if they learnt their
+business in that way. No, no; the branches you have mentioned are all
+hard enough in themselves, particularly that last ology about the bumps
+on people's heads. To get a thorough knowledge of any one of these arts
+or sciences, or whatever you call them, is work enough for a man's
+lifetime; and now the whole of them together are to be forced upon the
+weak understandings of poor innocent children, and in a foreign
+language, to boot. Shame on you--shame on you, Kitty Clavering!"
+
+"Uncle Philip," said Mrs. Clavering, smiling at his vehemence, for on
+such occasions she had always found it more prudent to smile than to
+frown, "you may say what you will now, but I foresee that you will
+finally become a convert to my views of this subject. I intend to make
+French the general language of the family, and in a short time you will
+soon catch it yourself. Why, though I cannot say much for his
+proficiency in his lessons, even Ric_har_[4] has picked up without
+intending it, a number of French phrases, that he pronounces quite well
+when I make him go over them with me."
+
+[Footnote 4: The French pronunciation of Richard.]
+
+"Ric_har_!" cried Uncle Philip, "and pray who is he? Who is Richar?"
+
+"That's me, uncle," said Dick.
+
+"So you have Frenchified Dick's name, have you!" said the old
+gentleman, "but I'm determined you shall not Frenchify Sam's."
+
+"No," observed Sam, "I'll not be Frenchified."
+
+"And pray, young ladies," resumed the uncle, "Fanny, Jenny, and Anny,
+have you too been put into French?"
+
+"Yes, uncle," replied Jane, "we are now Fanchette, Jeanette, and
+Annette."
+
+"So much the worse," said Uncle Philip. "Listen to me, when I tell you,
+that all this Frenchifying will come to no good; and I foresee that you
+may be sorry for it when it is too late. Of what use will it be to any
+of you? I have often heard that all French books worth reading are
+immediately done into English. And I never met with a French person
+worth knowing that had not learned to talk English."
+
+"Now, uncle," said Mrs. Clavering, "you are going quite too far. If our
+knowledge of French should not come into use while in our own country,
+who knows but some time or other we may all go to France."
+
+"I for one," replied Uncle Philip, "_I_ know that you will not; at
+least, you shall never go to France with my consent. No American woman
+goes to France, without coming home the worse for it in some way or
+other. There were the two Miss Facebys, who came up here last spring,
+fresh from a six months' foolery in Paris. I can see them now, ambling
+along in their short petticoats, with their hands clasped on their belt
+buckles, their mouths half open like idiots, and their eyes turned
+upwards like dying calves."
+
+Here Uncle Philip set the whole family to laughing, by starting from his
+chair and imitating the walk and manner of the Miss Facebys.
+
+"There," said he, resuming his seat, "I know that's exactly like them.
+Then did not they pretend to have nearly forgotten their own language,
+affecting to speak English imperfectly. And what was the end of them?
+One ran away with a dancing-master's mate, and the other got privately
+married to a fiddler."
+
+"But you must allow," said Mrs. Clavering, "that the Miss Facebys
+improved greatly in manner by their visit to France."
+
+"I know not what you call _manner_" replied Uncle Philip, "but I'm sure
+in _manners_ they did not. Manner and manners, I find, are very
+different things. And I was told by a gentleman, who had lived many
+years in France, that the Miss Facebys looked and behaved like French
+chambermaids, but not like French ladies. For my part, I am no judge of
+French women; but this I know, that American girls had better be like
+themselves, and not copy any foreign women whatever. And let them take
+care not to unfit themselves for American husbands. If they do, they'll
+lose more than they'll gain."
+
+"Well, Uncle Philip," said Mrs. Clavering, "I see it will take time to
+make a convert of you."
+
+"Don't depend on that," replied the old gentleman. "I, that for sixty
+years have stood out against all foreigners, particularly the French, am
+not likely to be taken in by them now."
+
+"We shall see," resumed Mrs. Clavering. "But are you really serious in
+prohibiting Sam from becoming a pupil of Mr. Franchimeau?"
+
+"Serious, to be sure I am," replied Uncle Philip. "Of what use can it be
+to him, if he follows the sea, as of course he will?"
+
+"Of great use," answered Mrs. Clavering, "if he should be in the French
+trade."
+
+"I look forward to his being in the India trade," said Uncle Philip,
+proudly.
+
+"But suppose, uncle," said Fanny, "he should happen to have French
+sailors on board his ship?"
+
+"French sailors! French!" exclaimed Uncle Philip; "for what purpose
+should he ship a Frenchman as a sailor? Why, I was once all over a
+French frigate that came into New York, and she was a pretty thing
+enough to look at outside. But when you got on board and went between
+decks, I never saw so dirty a ship. However, I won't go too far--I won't
+say that all French frigates are like this one, or all French sailors
+like those. Besides, this was many years ago, and, perhaps, they've
+improved since."
+
+"No doubt of it," said Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"Well," pursued Uncle Philip, "I only tell you what I saw."
+
+"But, not knowing their language, you must have misunderstood a great
+deal that you saw," observed Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"The first-lieutenant spoke English," said Uncle Philip, "and he showed
+me the ship; and, to do him justice, he was a very clever fellow, for
+all he was a Frenchman. There must certainly be _some_ good ones among
+them. Yes, yes--I have not a word to say against that first-lieutenant.
+But I wish you had seen the men that we found between decks. Some were
+tinkling on a sort of guitars, and some were tooting on a kind of
+flutes, and some were scraping on wretched fiddles. Some had little
+paint-boxes, and were drawing watch-papers, with loves and doves on
+them; some were sipping lemonade, and some were eating sugar-candy; and
+one (whom I suspected to have been originally a barber), was combing and
+curling a lapdog. It was really sickening to see sailors making such
+fools of themselves. By the bye, I did not see a tolerable dog about the
+ship. There was no fine Newfoundlander like my gallant Neptune (come
+here, old fellow), but there were half a dozen short-legged,
+long-bodied, red-eyed, tangle-haired wretches, meant for poodles, but
+not even half so good. And some of the men were petting huge cats, and
+some were feeding little birds in cages."
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Clavering, "I see no harm in all this--only an
+evidence that the general refinement of the French nation pervades all
+ranks of society. Is it not better to eat sugar-candy than to chew
+tobacco, and to sip lemonade than to drink grog?"
+
+"And then," continued Uncle Philip, "to hear the names by which the
+fellows were calling each other, for their tongues were all going the
+whole time as fast as they could chatter. There were Lindor and Isidore,
+and Adolphe and Emile. I don't believe there was a Jack or a Tom in the
+whole ship. I was so diverted with their names, that I made the
+first-lieutenant repeat them to me, and I wrote them down in my
+pocket-book. A very gentlemanly man was that first-lieutenant. But as to
+the sailors--why, there was one fellow sprawling on a gun (I suppose I
+should say reclining), and talking to himself about his amiable Pauline,
+which, I suppose, is the French for Poll. When we went into the
+gun-room, there was the gunner sitting on a chest, and reading some
+love-verses of his own writing, addressed to his belle Celestine, which,
+doubtless, is the French for Sall. Think of a sailor pretending to have
+a belle for his sweetheart! The first-lieutenant told me that the gunner
+was the best poet in the ship. I must say, I think very well of that
+first-lieutenant. There were half a dozen boys crowding round the gunner
+(or forming a group, as, I suppose, you would call it), and looking up
+to his face with admiration; and one great fool was kneeling behind him,
+and holding over his head a wreath of some sort of green leaves,
+waiting to crown him when he had done reading his verses."
+
+"Well," observed Mrs. Clavering, "I have no doubt the whole scene had a
+very pretty effect."
+
+"Pshaw," said Uncle Philip. "When I came on deck again, there was the
+boatswain's mate, who was also the ship's dancing-master (for a
+Frenchman can turn his hand to anything, provided it's foolery), and he
+was giving a lesson to two dozen dirty fellows with bare feet and red
+woollen caps, and taking them by their huge tarry hands, and bidding
+them _chassez_ here, and _balancez_ there, and _promenade_ here, and
+_pirouette_ there. I was too angry to laugh, when I saw sailors making
+such baboons of themselves."
+
+"Now," remarked Mrs. Clavering, "it is an established fact, that without
+some knowledge of dancing, no one can move well, or have a graceful air
+and carriage. Why, then, should not sailors be allowed an opportunity of
+cultivating the graces as well as other people? Why should they be
+debarred from everything that savours of refinement?"
+
+"I am glad," said Uncle Philip, laughing, "that it never fell to my lot
+to go to sea with a crew of refined sailors. I think, I should have
+tried hard to whack their refinement out of them. Why the French
+first-lieutenant (who was certainly a very clever fellow), told me that,
+during the cruise, five or six seamen had nearly died of their
+sensibility, as he called it; having jumped overboard, because they
+could not bear the separation from their sweethearts."
+
+"Poor fellows," said Fanny, "and were they drowned?"
+
+"I asked that," replied Uncle Philip, "hoping that they were; but,
+unluckily for the service, they were all provided with sworn friends,
+who jumped heroically into the sea, and fished the lubbers out. And, no
+doubt, the whole scene had a very pretty effect."
+
+"How can you make a jest of such things?" said Mrs. Clavering,
+reproachfully.
+
+"Why, I am only repeating your own words," answered the old gentleman.
+"But, to speak seriously, this shows that French ships ought always to
+be furnished with Newfoundland dogs to send in after the lovers, and
+spare their friends the trouble of getting a wet jacket for them:--Come
+here, old Nep. Up, my fine fellow, up," patting the dog's head, while
+the enormous animal rested his fore-paws on his master's shoulders.
+
+Mrs. Clavering now reminded the children that it was considerably past
+their hour for going to school, but with one accord they petitioned for
+a holiday, as it was the first day of Uncle Philip's and Sam's return.
+
+"You know the penalty," said Mrs. Clavering; "you know that if you stay
+away from school, you will be put down to the bottom of the class."
+
+The children all declared their willingness to submit to this punishment
+rather than go to school that day.
+
+"Now, Kitty Clavering," said Uncle Philip, "you see plainly that their
+hearts are not in the French: and that it is all forced work with them.
+So I shall be regularly displeased, if you send the children to school
+to-day. They shall go with me to the cabin, and we will all spend the
+morning there."
+
+The cabin was a small wooden edifice planned by Uncle Philip, and
+erected by his own hands with the assistance of Sam and Dick. It stood
+on the verge of the river, where the bank took the form of a little cape
+or headland, which Uncle Philip called Point Lookout. On an eminence
+immediately above, was the house of Mrs. Clavering, from the front
+garden of which a green slope, planted with fruit-trees, descended
+gradually to the water's edge.
+
+The building (into which you went down by a flight of wooden steps
+inserted in the face of the hill), was as much as possible like the
+cabin of a ship. The ceiling was low, with a skylight near the centre,
+and the floor was not exactly level, there being a very visible slant to
+one side. At the back of this cabin was an imitation of transoms, above
+which was a row of small windows of four panes each, and when these
+windows were open, they were fastened up by brass hooks to the beams
+that supported the roof. In the middle of the room was a flag-staff,
+which went up through the centre of a table, and perforated the ceiling
+like the mizen-mast of a ship, and rose to a great height above the
+roof. From the top of this staff an American ensign, on Sundays and
+holidays, displayed its stars and stripes to the breeze. There was a
+range of lockers all round the room, containing in their recesses an
+infinite variety of marine curiosities that Uncle Philip had collected
+during his voyages, and also some very amusing specimens of Chinese
+patience and ingenuity. The walls were hung with charts, and ornamented
+with four coloured drawings that Captain Kentledge showed as the
+likenesses of four favourite ships, all of which he, had at different
+times commanded. These drawings were made by a young man that had
+sailed with him as mate; and to unpractised eyes all the four ships
+looked exactly alike; but Uncle Philip always took care to explain that
+the Columbia was sharpest at the bows, and the American roundest at the
+stern; that the United States had the tallest masts, and the Union the
+longest yards.
+
+An important appendage to the furniture of this singular room was a
+hanging-shelf, containing Captain Kentledge's library; and the books
+were the six octavo volumes of Cook's Voyages, and also the voyages of
+Scoresby, Ross and Parry, the Arabian Nights, Dibdin's Songs, Robinson
+Crusoe, and Cooper's Pilot, Red Rover, and Water Witch.
+
+This cabin was the stronghold of Uncle Philip, and the place where, with
+Sam and Neptune, he spent all his happiest hours. For here he could
+smoke his segars in peace, and chew his tobacco without being obliged to
+watch an opportunity of slipping it privately into his mouth. But as
+Mrs. Clavering had particularly desired that he would not initiate Sam
+into the use of "the Indian weed," he had promised to refrain from
+instructing him in this branch of a sailor's education; and being "an
+honourable man," Uncle Philip had faithfully kept his word.
+
+Dick (acknowledging that during his uncle's absence he had used the
+cabin as a workshop, and that it was now ankle-deep in chips and
+shavings), ran on before with a broom to sweep the litter into a corner.
+The whole group proceeded thither from the breakfast table, Uncle Philip
+wishing he had three hands that he might give one to each of the little
+girls; but as that was not the case, they drew lots to decide which
+should be contented to hold by the skirt of his coat, and the lot fell
+upon Fanny; the old gentleman leading Jane and Anne, while Sam and
+Neptune brought up the rear.
+
+Arrived at the cabin, Uncle Philip placed himself in his arm-chair; the
+girls sat round him sewing for their dolls; Sam took his slate and drew
+upon it all the different parts of the schooner Winthrop, of which (from
+his brother's description) Dick commenced making a minature model in
+wood; and Neptune mounted one of the transoms and looked out of the
+window.
+
+Things were going on very pleasantly, and Uncle Philip was in the midst
+of narrating the particulars of a violent storm they had encountered in
+the gulf of Florida, when Dick, casting his eyes towards the glass
+door, exclaimed, "the French are coming, the French are coming!"
+
+Uncle Philip testified much dissatisfaction at the intrusion of these
+unwelcome visitors, and Dick again fell to work with the broom. In a few
+minutes Mrs. Clavering entered the cabin, bringing with her Monsieur and
+Madame Franchimeau, and the _vieux_ papa, and _vieille_ mama,[5]
+Monsieur and Madame Ravigote.
+
+[Footnote 5: The old papa, and the old mamma.]
+
+Mr. Franchimeau was a clumsy, ill-made man, fierce-eyed,
+black-whiskered, and looking as if he might sit for the picture of
+"Abaellino the Great Bandit." Madame Franchimeau was a large woman, with
+large features, and a figure that was very bad in dishabille, and very
+good in full dress. Her father and mother were remnants of the _ancien
+regime_, but the costume of the _vieux_ papa was not at all in the style
+of Blissett's Frenchman. His clothes were like those of other people,
+and instead of a powdered toupee and pigeon-wing side-curls, with a
+black silk bag behind, he wore a reddish scratch-wig that almost came
+down to his eyebrows. Why do very old men, when they wear wigs,
+generally prefer red ones? Madame Ravigote was a little withered,
+witch-like woman, with a skin resembling brown leather, which was set
+off by four scanty flaxen ringlets.
+
+Soon after breakfast, Mrs. Clavering had sent a message to "the French
+Study," implying the arrival of Captain Kentledge, and the consequent
+holiday of the children; and the Gauls had concluded it expedient to
+dismiss their school at twelve o'clock, and hasten to pay their
+compliments to the rich old uncle, of whom they had heard much since
+their residence at Corinth.
+
+When they were presented to Captain Kentledge, he was not at all
+prepossessed in favor of their appearance, and would have been much
+inclined to receive them coldly; but as he was now called upon to appear
+in the character of their host, he remembered the courtesy due to them
+as his guests, and he managed to do the honors of his cabin in a very
+commendable manner, considering that he said to himself, "for my own
+sake, I cannot be otherwise than civil to them; but I despise them,
+notwithstanding."
+
+There was much chattering that amounted to nothing; and much admiration
+of the cabin, by which, instead of pleasing Uncle Philip, they only
+incurred his farther contempt, by admiring always in the wrong place,
+and evincing an ignorance of ships that he thought unpardonable in
+people that had crossed the Atlantic. On Sam being introduced to them,
+there were many overstrained compliments on his beauty, and what they
+called his _air distingue_. Monsieur Franchimeau thought that _le jeune
+Sammi_[6] greatly resembled Mr. Irvine Voshintone, whom he had seen in
+Paris; but Monsieur Ravigote thought him more like the portrait of Sir
+Valter Scotch. Madame Franchimeau likened him to the head of the Apollo
+Belvidere, and Madame Ravigote to the Duke of Berry. But all agreed that
+he had a general resemblance to La Fayette, with a slight touch of Dr.
+Franklin. However these various similitudes might be intended as
+compliments, they afforded no gratification to Uncle Philip, whose
+secret opinion was, that if Sam looked like anybody, it was undoubtedly
+Paul Jones. And during this examination, Sam was not a little
+disconcerted at being seized by the shoulders and twirled round, and
+taken sometimes by the forehead and sometimes by the chin, that his face
+might be brought into the best light for discovering all its affinities.
+
+[Footnote 6: The young Sammy.]
+
+There was then an attempt at general conversation, the chief part of
+which was borne by the ladies, or rather by Madame Franchimeau, who
+thought in her duty to atone for the dogged taciturnity of her husband.
+Monsieur Franchimeau, unlike the generality of his countrymen, neither
+smiled, bowed, nor complimented. Having a great contempt for the manners
+of the _vieille cour_[7] and particularly for those of his
+father-in-law; he piqued himself on his _brusquerie_,[8] and his almost
+total disregard of _les bienseances_,[9] and set up _un esprit
+fort_:[10] but he took care to talk as little as possible, lest his
+claims to that character should be suspected.
+
+[Footnote 7: Old Court.]
+
+[Footnote 8: Bluntness, roughness.]
+
+[Footnote 9: Customs of polite society.]
+
+[Footnote 10: A person of strong mind, superior mind.]
+
+Uncle Philip, though he scorned to acknowledge it, was not in reality
+destitute of all comprehension of the French language, having picked up
+some little acquaintance with it from having, in the course of his
+wanderings, been at places where nothing else was spoken; and though
+determined on being displeased, he was amused, in spite of himself, at
+some of the tirades of Madame Franchimeau. Understanding that Monsieur
+Philippe (as much to his annoyance she called him) had just returned
+from the West Indies, she began to talk of Cape Francois, and the
+insurrection of the blacks, in which, she said, she had lost her first
+husband, Monsieur Mascaron. "By this terrible blow," said she, "I was
+_parfaitement abime_,[11] and I refused all consolation till it was my
+felicity to inspire Monsieur Franchimeau with sentiments the most
+profound. But my heart will for ever preserve a tender recollection of
+my well-beloved Alphonse. Ah! my Alphonse--his manners were adorable.
+However, my regards are great for _mon ami_[12] Monsieur Franchimeau. It
+is true, he is _un pen brusque--c'est son caractere_.[13] But his heart
+is of a goodness that is really inconceivable. He performs the most
+charming actions, and with a generosity that is heroic. _Ah! mon
+ami_--you hear me speak of you--but permit me the sad consolation of
+shedding yet a few tears for my respectable Alphonse."
+
+[Footnote 11: Perfectly destroyed, plunged into an abyss of despair.]
+
+[Footnote 12: My friend, my dear].
+
+[Footnote 13: A little blunt--a little rough. It is his character.]
+
+Madame Franchimeau then entered into an animated detail of the death of
+her first husband, who was killed before her eyes by the negroes; and
+she dwelt upon every horrid particular, till she had worked herself into
+a passion of tears. Just then, Fanny Clavering (who had for that purpose
+been sent up to the house by her mother) arrived with a servant carrying
+a waiter of pine-apples, sugar and Madeira.
+
+Madame Franchimeau stopped in the midst of her tears, and exclaimed--"_Ah!
+des ananas--mon ami (to her husband)--maman--papa--voyez--voyez--des
+ananas._[14] Ah! my poorest Alphonse, great was his love for these--what
+you call them--apple de pine. He was just paring his apple de pine, when
+the detestable negroes rushed in and overset the table. _Ah! quel
+scene--une veritable tragedie!_[15] _Pardonnez_, Madame Colavering, I
+prefer a slice from the largest part of the fruit.--Ah! my amiable
+Alphonse--his blood flew all over my robe, which was of spotted Japan
+muslin. I wore that day a long sash of a broad ribbon of the colour of
+Aurore, fringed at both of its ends. When I was running away, he grasped
+it so hard that it came untied, and I left it in his hand.--May I beg
+the favour of some more sugar?--_Mon ami_, you always prefer the
+pine-apple bathed in Champagne."
+
+[Footnote 14: "Ah! pine-apples--my dear--(to her
+husband)--mamma--papa--see--see--pine-apples!"]
+
+[Footnote 15: Ah! what a scene--a real tragedy!]
+
+"Yes," replied Franchimeau, "it does me no good, unless each slice is
+soaked in some wine of fine quality." But Mrs. Clavering acknowledging
+that she had no Champagne in the house, Franchimeau gruffly replied,
+that "he supposed Madeira might do."
+
+Madame then continued her story and her pine-apple. "_Ah! mon bien-aime
+Alphonse_,"[16] said she, "he had fourteen wounds--I will take another
+slice, if you please, Madame Colavering. There--there--a little more
+sugar. _Bien oblige_[17]--a little more still. _Maman, vous ne mangez
+pas de bon appetit. Ah! je comprens--vous voulez de la creme avec votre
+anana._[18]--Madame Colavering, will you do mamma the favour to have
+some cream brought for her? and I shall not refuse some for myself.
+Ah! _mon Alphonse_--the object of my first grand passion! He
+exhibited in dying some contortions that were hideous--_absolument
+effroyable_[19]--they are always present before my eyes--Madame
+Colavering, I would prefer those two under slices; they are the best
+penetrated with the sugar, and also well steeped in the _jus_."[20]
+
+[Footnote 16: My beloved Alphonse.]
+
+[Footnote 17: Much obliged to you.]
+
+[Footnote 18: Mamma, you do not eat with a good appetite. Ah! I
+understand--you wish for some cream with your pine-apple.]
+
+[Footnote 19: Absolutely frightful.]
+
+[Footnote 20: Juice.]
+
+The cream was procured, and the two Madames did it ample justice.
+Presently the youngest of the French ladies opened her eyes very wide,
+and exclaimed to her father, "_Mon cher papa, vous n' avez pas deja
+fini?_"[21] "My good friend, Madame Colavering, you know, of course,
+that my papa cannot eat much fruit, unless it is accompanied by some
+_biscuit_--for instance, the cake you call sponge."
+
+[Footnote 21: My dear papa, you have not finished already?]
+
+"I was not aware of that," replied Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"_Est-il possible?_"[22] exclaimed the whole French family, looking at
+each other.
+
+[Footnote 22: Is it possible?]
+
+Mrs. Clavering then recollecting that there was some sponge-cake in the
+house, sent one of the children for it, and when it was brought, their
+French visiters all ate heartily of it; and she heard the _vieille
+maman_[23] saying to the _vieux papa_,[24] "_Eh, mon ami, ce petit
+collation vient fort a-propos, comme notre dejeuner etait seulement un
+mauvais salade._"[25]
+
+[Footnote 23: Old mamma.]
+
+[Footnote 24: Old papa.]
+
+[Footnote 25: Eh! my dear, this little collation comes very seasonably,
+as our breakfast was nothing but a bad salad.]
+
+The collation over, Mrs. Clavering, by way of giving her guests an
+opportunity of saying something that would please Uncle Philip, patted
+old Neptune on the head, and asked them if they had ever seen a finer
+dog?
+
+"I will show you a finer," replied Madame Franchimeau; "see, I have
+brought with me my interesting _Bijou_"--and she called in an ugly
+little pug that had been scrambling about the cabin door ever since
+their arrival, and whose only qualification was that of painfully
+sitting up on his hind legs, and shaking his fore-paws in the fashion
+that is called begging. His mistress, with much importunity, prevailed
+on him to perform this elegant feat, and she then rewarded him with a
+saucer-full of cream, sugar, and sponge-cake. He was waspish and
+snappish, and snarled at Jane Clavering when she attempted to play with
+him; upon which Neptune, with one blow of his huge forefoot, brought the
+pug to the ground, and then stood motionless, looking up in Uncle
+Philip's face, with his paw on the neck of the sprawling animal, who
+kicked and yelped most piteously. This interference of the old
+Newfoundlander gave great offence to the French family, who all
+exclaimed, "_Quelle horreur! Quelle abomination! En effet c'est
+trop!_"[26]
+
+[Footnote 26: What horror! What abomination! It is really too much!]
+
+Uncle Philip could not help laughing; but Sam called off Neptune from
+Bijou, and set the fallen pug on his legs again, for which compassionate
+act he was complimented by the French ladies on his _bonte de
+coeur_,[27] and honoured at parting, with the title of _le doux
+Sammi_.[28]
+
+[Footnote 27: Goodness of heart.]
+
+[Footnote 28: The mild Sammy--the gentle Sammy.]
+
+"I'll never return this visit," said Uncle Philip, after the French
+guests had taken their leave.
+
+"Oh! but you _must_," replied Mrs. Clavering; "it was intended expressly
+for you--you _must_ return it, in common civility."
+
+"But," persisted Uncle Philip, "I wish them to understand that I don't
+intend to treat them with common civility. A pack of selfish,
+ridiculous, impudent fools. No, no. I am not so prejudiced as to believe
+that all French people are as bad as these--many of them, no doubt, if
+we could only find where they are, may be quite as clever as the first
+lieutenant of that frigate; but, to their shame be it spoken, the best
+of them seldom visit America, and our country is overrun with ignorant,
+vulgar impostors, who, unable to get their bread at home, come here full
+of lies and pretensions, and to them and their quackery must our
+children be intrusted, in the hope of acquiring a smattering of French
+jabber, and at the risk of losing everything else."
+
+"Don't you think Uncle Philip always talks best when he's in a passion?"
+observed Dick to Sam.
+
+After Mrs. Clavering had returned to the house, Dick informed his uncle
+that, a few days before, she had made a dinner for the whole French
+family; and Captain Kentledge congratulated himself and Sam on their not
+arriving sooner from their voyage. Dick had privately told his brother
+that the behaviour of the guests, on this occasion, had not given much
+satisfaction. Mrs. Clavering, it seems, had hired, to dress the dinner,
+a mulatto woman that professed great knowledge of French cookery, having
+lived at one of the best hotels in New York. But Monsieur Franchimeau
+had sneered at all the French dishes as soon as he tasted them, and
+pretended not to know their names, or for what they were intended;
+Monsieur Ravigote had shrugged and sighed, and the ladies had declined
+touching them at all, dining entirely on what (as Dick expressed it)
+they called roast beef de mutton and natural potatoes.[29]
+
+[Footnote 29: The vulgar French think that the English term for all
+sorts of roasted meat is _rosbif_--thus _rosbif de mouton--rosbif de
+porc_. Potatoes plainly boiled, with the skins on, are called, in
+France, _pommes de terre au naturel_.]
+
+It was not only his regard for the children that made Mrs. Clavering's
+French mania a source of great annoyance to Uncle Philip, but he soon
+found that much of the domestic comfort of the family was destroyed by
+this unaccountable freak, as he considered it. Mrs. Clavering was not
+young enough to be a very apt scholar, and so much of her time was
+occupied by learning her very long lessons, and writing her very long
+exercises, that her household duties were neglected in consequence. As
+in a provincial town it is difficult to obtain servants who can go on
+well without considerable attention from the mistress, the house was not
+kept in as nice order as formerly; the meals were at irregular hours,
+and no longer well prepared; the children's comfort was forgotten,
+their pleasures were not thought of, and the little girls grieved that
+no sweetmeats were to be made that season; their mother telling them
+that she had now no time to attend to such things. The children's
+story-books were taken from them, because they were now to read nothing
+but Telemaque; they were stopped short in the midst of their talk, and
+told to _parlez Francais_.[30] Even the parrots heard so much of it
+that, in a short time, they prated nothing but French.
+
+[Footnote 30: Speak French.]
+
+Uncle Philip had put his positive veto on Sam's going to French school,
+and he insisted that little Anne had become pale and thin since she had
+been a pupil of the Franchimeaus. Mrs. Clavering, to pacify him,
+consented to withdraw the child from school; but only on condition that
+she was every day to receive a lesson at home, from old Mr. Ravigote.
+
+Anne Clavering was but five years old. As yet, no taste for French "had
+dawned upon her soul," and very little for English; her mind being
+constantly occupied with her doll, and other playthings. Monsieur
+Ravigote, with all the excitability of his nation, was, in the main, a
+very good-natured man, and was really anxious for the improvement of his
+pupil. But all was in vain. Little Anne never knew her lessons, and had
+as yet acquired no other French phrase than "_Oui, Monsieur_."[31]
+
+[Footnote 31: Yes, sir.]
+
+Every morning, Mr. Ravigote came with a face dressed in smiles, and
+earnest hope that his pupil was going that day to give him what he
+called "one grand satisfaction;" but the result was always the same.
+
+One morning, as Uncle Philip sat reading the newspaper, and holding
+little Anne on his knee while she dressed her doll, Mr. Ravigote came
+in, bowing and smiling as usual, and after saluting Captain Kentledge,
+he said to the little child: "Well, my dear little friend, _ma gentille
+Annette_,[32] I see by the look of your countenance that I shall have
+one grand satisfaction with you this day. Application is painted on your
+visage, and docility also. Is there not, _ma chere_?"[33]
+
+[Footnote 32: My pretty Annette.]
+
+[Footnote 33: My dear.]
+
+"_Oui, Monsieur_," replied the little Anne.
+
+"_J'en suis ravi._[34] Now, _ma chere, commencons--commencons tout de
+suite_."[35]
+
+[Footnote 34: I am delighted at it.]
+
+[Footnote 35: Now, my dear, let us begin--let us begin immediately.]
+
+Little Anne slowly descended from her uncle's knee, carefully put away
+her doll and folded up her doll's clothes, and then made a tedious
+search for her book.
+
+"_Eh! bien, commencons_," said Mr. Ravigote, "you move without any
+rapidity."
+
+"_Oui, Monsieur_," responded little Anne, who, after she had taken her
+seat in a low chair beside Mr. Ravigote, was a long time getting into a
+comfortable position, and at last settled herself to her satisfaction by
+crossing her feet, leaning back as far as she could go, and hooking one
+finger in her coral necklace, that she might pull at it all the time.
+
+"_Eh! bien, ma chere_; we will first have the lessons without the book,"
+said Mr. Ravigote, commencing with the vocabulary. "Tell me the names of
+all the months of the year--for instance, January."
+
+"_Janvier_," answered the pupil, promptly.
+
+"Ah! very well, very well, indeed, _ma chere_--for once, you know the
+first word of your lesson. Ah! to-day I have, indeed, great hope of you.
+Come, now, February?"
+
+"_Fevrier_," said little Anne.
+
+"Excellent! excellent! you know the second word too--and now, then,
+March?"
+
+"Marsh."
+
+"Ah! no, no--but I am old; perhaps I did not rightly hear. Repeat, _ma
+chere enfant_,[36] repeat."
+
+[Footnote 36: My dear child.]
+
+"Marsh," cried little Anne in a very loud voice.
+
+"Ah! you are wrong; but I will pardon you--you have said two words
+right. _Mars, ma chere, Mars_ is the French for March the month. Come
+now, April."
+
+"Aprile."
+
+"Aprile! there is no such word as Aprile--_Avril_. And now tell me, what
+is May?"
+
+"_Mai._"
+
+"Excellent! excellent! capital! _magnifique!_ you said that word
+_parfaitement bien_.[37] Now let us proceed--June."
+
+[Footnote 37: Perfectly well.]
+
+"Juney."
+
+"Ah! no, no--_Juin, ma chere, Juin_--but I will excuse you. Now, tell me
+July."
+
+Little Anne could make no answer.
+
+"Ah! I fear--I begin to fear you. Are you not growing bad?"
+
+"_Oui, Monsieur_," said little Anne.
+
+"Come then; I will tell you this once--_Juillet_ is the French for July.
+Now, tell me what is August?"
+
+"Augoost!"
+
+"Augoost! Augoost! there is no such a word. Why, you are very bad,
+indeed--_Aout, Aout, Aout_."
+
+The manner in which Mr. Ravigote vociferated this rather uncouth word,
+roused Uncle Philip from his newspaper and his rocking-chair, and
+mistaking it for a howl of pain, he started up and exclaimed, "Hallo!"
+Mr. Ravigote turned round in amazement, and Uncle Philip continued,
+"Hey, what's the matter? Has anything hurt you? I thought I heard a
+howl."
+
+"Dear uncle," said little Anne, "Mr. Ravigote is not howling; he is only
+saying August in French."
+
+Uncle Philip bit his lip and resumed his paper. Mr. Ravigote proceeded,
+"September?" and his pupil repeated in a breath, as if she was afraid to
+stop an instant lest she should forget--
+
+"Septembre, Octobre, Novembre, Decembre."
+
+"Ah! very well; very well, indeed," exclaimed Mr. Ravigote; "you have
+said these four words _comme il faut_;[38] but it must be confessed they
+are not much difficult."
+
+[Footnote 38: Properly].
+
+He then proceeded with the remainder of her vocabulary lesson; but in
+vain--not another word did she say that had the least affinity to the
+right one. "Ah!" said he, "_je suis au desespoir_;[39] I much expected
+of you this day, but you have overtumbled all my hopes. _Je suis
+abime._"[40]
+
+[Footnote 39: I am in despair.]
+
+[Footnote 40: "I am thrown in an abyss of grief," is perhaps nearest the
+meaning of this very French expression.]
+
+"_Oui, Monsieur_, said little Anne.
+
+"You are one _mauvais sujet_,"[41] pursued the teacher, beginning to
+lose his patience; "punishment is all that you merit. _Mais allons,
+essayons encore._"[42]
+
+[Footnote 41: Bad person--bad child.]
+
+[Footnote 42: But come, let us try again.]
+
+Just at that moment the string of little Anne's beads (at which she had
+been pulling during the whole lesson) broke suddenly in two, and the
+beads began to shower down, a few into her lap, but most of them on the
+floor.
+
+"_Oh! quel dommage!_"[43] exclaimed Mr. Ravigote; "_Mais n'importe,
+laissez-les_,[44] and continue your lesson."
+
+[Footnote 43: Oh! what a pity!]
+
+[Footnote 44: But no matter--let them alone.]
+
+But poor Mr. Ravigote found it impossible to make the little girl pay
+the slightest attention to him while her beads were scattered on the
+floor; and his only alternative was to stoop down and help her to pick
+them up. Uncle Philip raised his eyes from the paper, and said, "Never
+mind the beads, my dear; finish the lesson, and I will buy you a new
+coral necklace to-morrow, and a much prettier one than that."
+
+Little Anne instantly rose from the floor, and whisking into her chair,
+prepared to resume her lesson with alacrity.
+
+"_Eh! bien_," said the teacher, "now we will start off again, and read
+the inside of a book. Come, here is the fable of the fox and the grapes.
+These are the fables that we read during the _ancien regime_; there are
+none so good now."
+
+Mr. Ravigote then proceeded to read with her, translating as he went on,
+and making her repeat after him--"A fox of Normandy, (some say of
+Gascony,) &c., &c. Now, my dear, you must try this day and make a copy
+of the nasal sounds as you hear them from me. It is in these sounds that
+you are always the very worst. The nasal sounds are the soul and the
+life of French speaking."
+
+The teacher bent over the book, and little Anne followed his
+pronunciation more closely than she had ever done before: he exclaiming
+at every sentence, "Very well--very well, indeed, my dear. To-day you
+have the nasal sounds, _comme une ange_."[45]
+
+[Footnote 45: Like an angel.]
+
+But on turning round to pat her head, he perceived that _gentille
+Annette_ was holding her nose between her thumb and finger, and that it
+was in this way only she had managed to give him satisfaction with the
+nasal sounds. He started back aghast, exclaiming--
+
+"_Ah! quelle friponnerie! la petite coquine! Voici un grand acte de
+fourberie et de mechancete!_[46] So young and so depraved--ah! I fear, I
+much fear, she will grow up a rogue-a cheat--perhaps a thief. _Je suis
+glace d'horreur! Je tremble! Je frissonne!_"[47]
+
+[Footnote 46: Ah! what roguery--the little jade! What an instance of
+imposture and wickedness!]
+
+[Footnote 47: I am frozen with horror!--I tremble!--I shiver!]
+
+"I'll tell you what," said Uncle Philip, laying down his newspaper, "you
+need neither tremble nor frisson, nor get yourself into any horror about
+it. The child's only a girl of five years old, and I've no notion that
+the little tricks, that all children are apt to play at times, are
+proofs of natural wickedness, or signs that they will grow up bad men
+and women. But to cut the matter short, the girl is too little to learn
+French. She is not old enough either to understand it, or to remember
+it, and you see it's impossible for her to give her mind to it. So from
+this time, I say, she shall learn no more French till she is grown up,
+and desires it herself. (_Little Anne gave a skip half way to the
+ceiling._) You shall be paid for her quarter all the same, and I'll pay
+you myself on the spot. So you need never come again."
+
+Mr. Ravigote was now from head to foot all one smile; and bowing with
+his hands on his heart, he, at Uncle Philip's desire, mentioned the sum
+due for a quarter's attempt at instruction. Uncle Philip immediately
+took the money out of his pocket-book, saying, "There,--there is a
+dollar over; but you may keep it yourself: I want no change. I suppose
+my niece, Kitty Clavering, will not be pleased at my sending you off;
+but she will have to get over it, for I'll see that child tormented no
+longer."
+
+Mr. Ravigote thought in his own mind, that the torment had been much
+greater to him than to the child; but he was so full of gratitude, that
+he magnanimously offered to take the blame on himself, and represent to
+Mrs. Clavering that it was his own proposal to give up Mademoiselle
+Annette, as her organ of French was not yet developed.
+
+"No, no," said Uncle Philip, "I am always fair and above-board. I want
+nobody to shift the blame from my shoulders to their own. Whatever I do,
+I'll stand by manfully. I only hope that you'll never again attempt to
+teach French to babies."
+
+Mr. Ravigote took leave with many thanks, and on turning to bid his
+adieu to the little girl, he found that she had already vanished from
+the parlour, and was riding about the green on the back of old Neptune.
+
+When Uncle Philip told Mrs. Clavering of his dismissal of Mr. Ravigote,
+she was so deeply vexed, that she thought it most prudent to say
+nothing, lest she should be induced to say too much.
+
+A few days after this event, Madame Franchimeau sent an invitation,
+written in French, for Mrs. Clavering, and "Monsieur Philippe" to pass
+the evening at her house, and partake of a _petit souper_,[48] bringing
+with them _le doux Sammi_, and _la belle Fanchette_.[49] This supper
+was to celebrate the birthday of her niece, Mademoiselle Robertine, who
+had just arrived from New York, and was to spend a few weeks at Corinth.
+
+[Footnote 48: A little supper.]
+
+[Footnote 49: The gentle Sammy and the lovely Fanchette.]
+
+Uncle Philip had never yet been prevailed on to enter the French house,
+as he called it; and on this occasion he stoutly declared off, saying
+that he had no desire to see any more of their foolery, and that he
+hated the thoughts of a French supper. "My friend, Tom Logbook," said
+he, "who commands the packet Louis Quatorze, and understands French,
+told me of a supper to which he was invited the first time he was at
+Havre, and of the dishes he was expected to eat, and I shall take care
+never to put myself in the way of such ridiculous trash. Why, he told me
+there was wooden-leg soup, and bagpipes of mutton, and rabbits in
+spectacles, and pullets in silk stockings, and potatoes in shirts.[50]
+Answer me now, are such things fit for Christians to eat?"
+
+[Footnote 50: _Soupe a la jambe de bois--musettes de mouton--lapins en
+lorgnettes--poulardes en bas de soie--pommes de terre en chemise._ See
+Ude, &c.]
+
+For a long time Mrs. Clavering tried in vain to prevail on Uncle Philip
+to accept of the invitation. At last Dick suggested a new persuasive.
+"Mother," said he, "I have no doubt Uncle Philip would go to the French
+supper, if you will let us all have a holiday from school for a week."
+
+"That's a good thought, Dick," exclaimed the old gentleman. "Yes, I
+think I would. Well, on these terms I will go, and eat trash. I suppose
+I shall live through it. But remember now, this is the first and last
+and only time I will ever enter a French house."
+
+After tea, the party set out for Monsieur Franchimeau's, and were
+ushered into the front parlour, which was fitted up in a manner that
+exhibited a strange _melange_ of slovenliness and pretension. There was
+neither carpet nor matting, and the floor was by no means in the nicest
+order; but there were three very large looking-glasses, the plates being
+all more or less cracked, and the frames sadly tarnished. The chairs
+were of two different sorts, and of very ungenteel appearance; but there
+was a kind of Grecian sofa, or lounge, with a gilt frame much defaced,
+and a red damask cover much soiled; and, in the centre of the room,
+stood a _fauteuil_[51] covered with blue moreen, the hair poking out in
+tufts through the slits. The windows were decorated with showy curtains
+of coarse pink muslin and marvellously coarse white muslin; the drapery
+suspended from two gilt arrows, one of which had lost its point, and the
+other had parted with its feather. The hearth was filled with rubbish,
+such as old pens, curl-papers, and bits of rag; but the mantel-piece was
+adorned with vases of artificial flowers under glass bells, and two
+elegant chocolate cups of French china.
+
+[Footnote 51: Easy chair.]
+
+The walls were hung with a dozen bad lithographic prints, tastefully
+suspended by bows of gauze ribbon. Among these specimens of the worst
+style of the modern French school, was a Cupid and Psyche, with a
+background that was the most prominent part of the picture, every leaf
+of every tree on the distant mountains being distinctly defined and
+smoothly finished. The clouds seemed unwilling to stay behind the hills,
+but had come so boldly forward and looked so like masses of stone, that
+there was much apparent danger of their falling on the heads of the
+lovers and crushing them to atoms. Psyche was an immensely tall, narrow
+woman, of a certain age, and remarkably strong features; and Cupid was a
+slender young man, of nineteen or twenty, about seven feet high, with
+long tresses descending to his waist.
+
+Another print represented a huge muscular woman, with large coarse
+features distorted into the stare and grin of a maniac, an enormous lyre
+in her hand, a cloud of hair flying in one direction, and a volume of
+drapery exhibiting its streaky folds in another; while she is running to
+the edge of a precipice, as if pursued by a mad bull, and plunging
+forward with one foot in the air, and her arms extended above her head.
+This was Sappho on the rock of Leucate. These two prints Mr. Franchimeau
+(who professed connoisseurship, and always talked when pictures were the
+subject--that is, French pictures) pointed out to his visiters as
+magnificent emanations of the Fine Arts. "The coarse arts, rather,"
+murmured Uncle Philip.
+
+The guests were received with much suavity by the French ladies and the
+_vieux_ papa; and Capt. Kentledge was introduced by Madame Franchimeau
+to three little black-haired girls, with surprisingly yellow faces, who
+were designated by the mother as "_mon aimable Lulu, ma mignonne Mimi,
+and ma petite ange Gogo_."[52] Uncle Philip wondered what were the real
+names of these children.
+
+[Footnote 52: My lovely Lulu, my darling Mimi, and my little angel
+Gogo.]
+
+After this, Madame Franchimeau left the room for a moment, and returned,
+leading in a very pretty young girl, whom she introduced as her _tres
+chere niece, Mademoiselle Robertine_,[53] orphan daughter of a brother
+of her respectable Alphonse.
+
+[Footnote 53: Her beloved niece, Miss Robertine.]
+
+Robertine had a neat French figure, a handsome French face, and a
+profusion of hair arranged precisely in the newest style of the wax
+figures that decorate the windows of the most fashionable
+_coiffeurs_.[54] She was dressed in a thin white muslin, with a short
+black silk apron, embroidered at the corners with flowers in colours.
+Mr. Franchimeau resigned to her his chair beside Uncle Philip, to whom
+(while her aunt and the Ravigotes were chattering and shrugging to Mrs.
+Clavering) she addressed herself with considerable fluency and in good
+English. People who have known but little of the world, and of the best
+tone of society, are apt, on being introduced to new acquaintances, to
+talk to them at once of their profession, or in reference to it; and
+Robertine questioned Uncle Philip about his ships and his voyages, and
+took occasion to tell him that she had always admired the character of a
+sailor, and still more that of a captain; that she thought the brown
+tinge given by the sea air a great improvement to a fine manly
+countenance; that fair-complexioned people were her utter aversion, and
+that a gentleman was never in his best looks till he had attained the
+age of forty, or, indeed, of forty-five.
+
+[Footnote 54: Hair-dressers.]
+
+"Then I am long past the age of good looks," said Uncle Philip, "for I
+was sixty-two the sixth of last June."
+
+"Is it possible!" exclaimed Robertine. "I had no idea that Captain
+Kentledge could have been more than forty-three or forty-four at the
+utmost. But gentlemen who have good health and amiable dispositions,
+never seem to grow old. I have known some who were absolutely charming
+even at seventy."
+
+"Pshaw!" said Uncle Philip, half aside.
+
+Robertine, who had been tutored by her aunt Franchimeau, ran on with a
+tirade of compliments and innuendos, so glaring as to defeat their own
+purpose. Sam, who sat opposite, and was a shrewd lad, saw in a moment
+her design, and could not forbear at times casting significant looks
+towards his uncle. The old captain perfectly comprehended the meaning of
+those looks, and perceived that Mademoiselle Robertine was spreading
+her net for him. Determining not to be caught, he received all her
+smiles with a contracted brow; replied only in monosyllables; and, as
+she proceeded, shut his teeth firmly together, closed his lips tightly,
+pressed his clenched hands against the sides of his chair, and sat bolt
+upright; resolved on answering her no more.
+
+About nine o'clock, the door of the back parlour was thrown open by the
+little mulatto girl, and Madame Franchimeau was seen seated at the head
+of the supper-table. Mr. Franchimeau led in Mrs. Clavering; Mr. Ravigote
+took Fanny; Madame Ravigote gave her hand to Sam, and Robertine, of
+course, fell to the lot of Uncle Philip, who touched with a very ill
+grace the fingers that she smilingly extended to him.
+
+In the centre of the supper-table was a salad decorated with roses, and
+surrounded by four candles. The chief dish contained _blanquettes_ of
+veal; and the other viands were a _fricandeau_ of calves' ears; a
+_puree_ of pigs' tails; a _ragout_ of sheep's feet, and another of
+chickens' pinions interspersed with claws; there was a dish of turnips
+with mustard, another of cabbage with cheese, a bread omelet, a plate of
+poached eggs, a plate of sugar-plums, and a dish of hashed fish, which
+Madame Franchimeau called a _farce_.
+
+As soon as they were seated, Robertine took a rose from the salad, and
+with a look of considerable sentiment, presented it to Uncle Philip, who
+received it with a silent frown, and took an opportunity of dropping it
+on the floor, when Sam slyly set his foot on it and crushed it flat. The
+young lady then mixed a glass of _eau sucre_[55] for the old gentleman,
+saying very sweet things all the time; but the beverage was as little to
+his taste as the Hebe that prepared it.
+
+[Footnote 55: Sugar and water.]
+
+The French children were all at table, and the youngest girl looking
+somewhat unwell, and leaving her food on her plate, caused Mrs.
+Clavering to make a remark on her want of appetite.
+
+"_N'importe_,"[56] said Madame Franchimeau; "she is not affamished; she
+did eat very hearty at her tea; she had shesnoot for her tea."
+
+[Footnote 56: No matter.]
+
+"Chestnuts!" exclaimed Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"Oh, yes; we have them at times. _N'importe_, my little Gogo; cease your
+supper, you will have the better appetite for your breakfast. You shall
+have an apple for your breakfast--a large, big apple. Monsieur Philippe,
+permit me to help you to some of this fish; you will find it a most
+excellent _farce_:[57] I have preserved it from corruption by a process
+of vinegar and salt, and some charcoal. Madame Colavering, I will show
+you that mode of restoring fish when it begins to putrefy: a great
+chemist taught it to my assassined Alphonse."
+
+[Footnote 57: Farce, in French cookery, signifies chopped meat, fish,
+poultry, well seasoned and mixed with other ingredients.]
+
+Uncle Philip pushed away his plate with unequivocal signs of disgust,
+and moved back his chair, determined not to taste another mouthful while
+he stayed in the house. Suspicious of everything, he even declined
+Robertine's solicitations to take a glass of _liqueur_ which she poured
+out for him, and which she assured him was genuine _parfait amour_.[58]
+During supper, she had talked to him, in a low voice, of the great
+superiority of the American nation when compared with the French; and
+regretted the frivolity and _inconsequence_ of the French character; but
+assured him that when French ladies had the honour of marrying American
+gentlemen, they always lost that inconsequence, and acquired much depth
+and force.
+
+[Footnote 58: Perfect love.]
+
+After supper, Mr. Franchimeau, who, notwithstanding his taciturnity and
+_brusquerie_, was what Uncle Philip called a Jack of all trades, sat
+down to an old out-of-tune piano, that stood in one of the recesses of
+the back parlour, and played an insipid air of "Paul at the Tomb of
+Virginia," singing with a hoarse stentorian voice half-a-dozen
+namby-pamby stanzas, lengthening out or contracting some of the words,
+and mispronouncing others to suit the measure and the rhyme. This song,
+however, seemed to produce great effect on the French part of his
+audience, who sighed, started, and exclaimed--"_Ah! quels sont touchans,
+ces sentimens sublimes!_"[59]
+
+[Footnote 59: Ah! how touching are these sublime sentiments!]
+
+"_Ma chere amie_," continued Madame Franchimeau, pressing the hand of
+Mrs. Clavering, "_permettez que je pleure un peu le triste destin de
+l'innocence et de la vertu--infortune Paul--malheureuse Virginie_;"[60]
+and she really seemed to shed tears.
+
+[Footnote 60: My dear friend, permit me to weep a little for the sad
+fate of innocence and virtue--unfortunate Paul--hapless Virginia.]
+
+Uncle Philip could no longer restrain himself, but he started from his
+chair and paced the room in evident discomposure at the folly and
+affectation that surrounded him; his contempt for all men that played on
+pianos being much heightened by the absurd appearance of the huge
+black-whiskered, shock-headed Monsieur Franchimeau, with his long
+frock-coat hanging down all over the music-stool. Robertine declined
+playing, alleging that she had none of her own music with her; and she
+privately told Uncle Philip that she had lost all relish for French
+songs, and that she was very desirous of learning some of the national
+airs of America--for instance, the Tars of Columbia. But still Uncle
+Philip's heart was iron-bound, and he deigned no other reply than, "I
+don't believe they'll suit you."
+
+A dance was then proposed by Madame Ravigote, and Robertine, "nothing
+daunted," challenged Uncle Philip to lead off with her; but, completely
+out of patience, he turned on his heel, and walked away without
+vouchsafing an answer. Robertine then applied to Sam, but with no better
+success, for as yet he had not learned that accomplishment, and she was
+finally obliged to dance with old Mr. Ravigote, while Madame Franchimeau
+took out her mother; Fanny danced with the lovely Lulu, and Mimi and
+Gogo with each other; Mr. Franchimeau playing cotillions for them.
+
+Uncle Philip thought in his own mind that the dancing was the best part
+of the evening's entertainment, and old Madame Ravigote was certainly
+the best of the dancers; though none of the family were deficient in a
+talent which seems indigenous to the whole French nation.
+
+The cotillions were succeeded by cream of tartar lemonade, and a plate
+of sugar-plums enfolded in French mottoes, from which Robertine selected
+the most amatory, and presented them to Uncle Philip, who regularly made
+a point of giving them all back to her in silence, determined not to
+retain a single one, lest she might suppose he acknowledged the
+application.
+
+The old gentleman was very tired of the visit, and glad enough when Mrs.
+Clavering proposed departing. And all the way home his infatuated niece
+talked to him in raptures of the elegance of French people, and the vast
+difference between them and the Americans.
+
+"There is, indeed, a difference," said Uncle Philip, too much fatigued
+to argue the point that night.
+
+Next morning, after they had adjourned to the cabin, Sam addressed the
+old gentleman with, "Well, Uncle Philip, I wish you joy of the conquest
+you made last evening of the pretty French girl, Miss Robertine."
+
+"A conquest of _her_," replied Uncle Philip, indignantly; "the report of
+my dollars has made the conquest. I am not yet old enough to be taken in
+by such barefaced manoeuvring. No, no; I am not yet in my dotage; and
+I heartily despise a young girl that is willing to sell herself to a man
+old enough to be her father."
+
+"I am glad you do," observed Sam; "I have often heard my mother say that
+such matches never fail to turn out badly, and to make both husband and
+wife miserable. We all think she talks very sensibly on this subject."
+
+"No doubt," said Uncle Philip.
+
+"I really wonder," pursued Sam, "that a Frenchwoman should venture to
+make love to _you_."
+
+"Love!" exclaimed Uncle Philip; "I tell you, there's no love in the
+case. I am not such a fool as to believe that a pretty young girl could
+fall in love with an old fellow like _me_. No, no; all she wants is,
+that I should die as soon as possible and leave her a rich widow: but
+she will find her mistake; she shall see that all her sweet looks and
+sweet speeches will have no effect on me but to make me hate her. She
+might as well attempt to soften marble by dropping honey on it."
+
+"You'll be not only marble, but granite, also, won't you, Uncle Philip?"
+said Sam.
+
+"That I will, my boy," said the old gentleman; "and now let's talk of
+something else."
+
+After this, no persuasion could induce Uncle Philip to repeat his visit
+to the Franchimeaus; and when any of that family came to Mrs.
+Clavering's he always left the room in a few minutes, particularly if
+they were accompanied by Robertine. In short, he now almost lived in his
+cabin, laying strict injunctions on Mrs. Clavering not to bring thither
+any of the French.
+
+One morning, while he was busy there with Sam, Dick, and Neptune, the
+boys, happening to look out, saw Robertine listlessly rambling on the
+bank of the river, and entirely alone. There was every appearance of a
+shower coming up. "I suppose," said Dick, "Miss Robertine intends going
+to our house; and if she does not make haste, she will be caught in the
+rain. There, now, she is looking up at the clouds. See, see--she is
+coming this way as fast as she can."
+
+"Confound her impudence!" said Uncle Philip; "is she going to ferret me
+out of my cabin? Sam, shut that door."
+
+"Shall I place the great chest against it?" said Sam.
+
+"Pho--no," replied the old gentleman. "With all her assurance, she'll
+scarcely venture to break in by force. I would not for a thousand
+dollars that she should get a footing here."
+
+Presently a knock was heard at the door.
+
+"There she is," said Dick.
+
+"Let us take no notice," said Sam.
+
+"After all," said Uncle Philip, "she's a woman; and a woman must not be
+exposed to the rain, when a man can give her a shelter. We must let her
+in; nothing else can be done with her."
+
+Upon this, Sam opened the door; and Robertine, with many apologies for
+her intrusion, expressed her fear of being caught in the rain, and
+begged permission to wait there till the shower was over.
+
+"I was quite lost in a reverie," said she, "as I wandered on the shore
+of the river. Retired walks are now best suited to my feelings. When the
+heart has received a deep impression, nothing is more delicious than to
+sigh in secret."
+
+"Fudge!" muttered Uncle Philip between his teeth.
+
+"Uncle Philip says fudge," whispered Dick to Sam.
+
+"I'm glad of it," whispered Sam to Dick.
+
+Uncle Philip handed Robertine a chair, and she received this
+common-place civility with as much evident delight as if he had
+proffered her "the plain gold ring."
+
+"Sam," said the old gentleman, "run to the house as fast as you can, and
+bring an umbrella, and then see Miss Robertine home."
+
+"That I will, uncle," said Sam, with alacrity.
+
+Robertine then began to admire the drawings on the wall, and
+said--"Apparently, these are all ships that Captain Kentledge has taken
+in battle?"
+
+"No," replied Uncle Philip, "I never took any ship in battle; I always
+belonged to the merchant service."
+
+Robertine was now at fault; but soon recovering herself, she
+continued--"No doubt if you _had_ been in battle, you _would_ have taken
+ships; for victory always crowns the brave, and my opinion is, that all
+Americans are brave of course; particularly if they are gentlemen of the
+sea."
+
+"And have plenty of cash," Uncle Philip could not avoid saying.
+
+Robertine coloured to the eyes; and Uncle Philip checked himself, seeing
+that he had been too severe upon her. "I must not forget that she is a
+woman," thought he; "while she stays, I will try to be civil to her."
+
+But Robertine was too thoroughly resolved on carrying her point to be
+easily daunted; and, in half a minute, she said with a smile--"I see
+that Captain Kentledge will always have his jest. Wit is one of the
+attributes of his profession."
+
+Her admiration of the ships not having produced much effect, Robertine
+next betook herself to admiring the dog Neptune, who was lying at his
+master's feet, and she gracefully knelt beside him and patted his head,
+saying--"What a magnificent animal! The most splendid dog I ever saw!
+What a grand and imposing figure! How sensible and expressive is his
+face!"
+
+Dick found it difficult to suppress an involuntary giggle, for it struck
+him that Robertine must have heard the remark which was very current
+through the village, of Neptune's face having a great resemblance to
+Uncle Philip's own.
+
+Where is the man that, being "the fortunate possessor of a Newfoundland
+dog," can hear his praises without emotion? Uncle Philip's ice began to
+thaw. All the blandishments that Robertine had lavished on himself,
+caused no other effect than disgust; but the moment she appeared to like
+his dog, his granite heart began to soften, and he felt a disposition to
+like _her_ in return. He cast a glance towards Robertine as she caressed
+old Neptune, and he thought her so pretty that the glance was succeeded
+by a gaze. He put out his hand to raise her from her kneeling attitude,
+and actually placed a chair for her beside his own. Robertine thought
+herself in Paradise, for she saw that her last arrow had struck the
+mark. Uncle Philip's stubborn tongue was now completely loosened, and he
+entered into an eloquent detail of the numerous excellencies of the
+noble animal, and related a story of his life having been saved by
+Neptune during a shipwreck.
+
+To all this did Robertine "most seriously incline." She listened with
+breathless interest, was startled, terrified, anxious, delighted, and
+always in the right place; and when the story was finished, she
+pronounced Newfoundland dogs the best of all created animals, and
+Neptune the best of all Newfoundland dogs.
+
+Just then Sam arrived with the umbrella.
+
+"Sam," said Uncle Philip, "you may give _me_ the umbrella; I will see
+Miss Robertine home myself. But I think she had better wait till the
+rain is over."
+
+This last proposal Robertine thought it most prudent to decline, fearing
+that if she stayed till the rain ceased, Uncle Philip might no longer
+think it necessary to escort her home. Accordingly the old gentleman
+gave her his arm, and walked off with her under the umbrella. As soon as
+they were gone, Sam and Dick laughed out, and compared notes.
+
+In the afternoon, after spending a considerable time at his toilet,
+Uncle Philip, without saying anything to the family, told one of the
+servants that he should not drink tea at home, and sallied off in the
+direction of Franchimeau's. He did not return till ten o'clock, and then
+went straight to bed without entering the sitting-room. The truth was,
+that when he conveyed Robertine home in the morning, he could not resist
+her invitation into the house; and he sat there long enough for Madame
+Ravigote (who, in frightful _dishabille_, was darning stockings in the
+parlour) to see that things wore a promising aspect. The old lady went
+to the school-room door, and called out Madame Franchimeau to inform her
+of the favourable change in the state of affairs: and it was decided
+that _le vieux Philippe_[61] (as they called him behind the scenes, for
+none of them, except Robertine, could say Kentledge), should be invited
+to tea, that the young lady might have an immediate opportunity of
+following up the success of the morning.
+
+[Footnote 61: Old Philip.]
+
+Next morning, about eleven o'clock, Uncle Philip disappeared again, and
+was seen no more till dinner-time. When he came in, he took his seat at
+the table without saying a word, and there was something unusually queer
+in his look, and embarrassed in all his motions; and the children
+thought that he did not seem at all like himself. Little Anne, who sat
+always at his right hand, leaned back in her chair and looked behind
+him, and then suddenly exclaimed--"Why, Uncle Philip has had his queue
+cut off!"
+
+There was a general movement of surprise. Uncle Philip reddened,
+hesitated, and at last said, in a confused manner, "that he had for a
+long time thought his queue rather troublesome, and that he had recently
+been told that it made him look ten years older than he really was; and,
+therefore, he had stopped at the barber's, on his way home, and got rid
+of it."
+
+Mrs. Clavering had never admired the queue; but she thought the loss of
+it, just at this juncture, looked particularly ominous.
+
+In the afternoon she received a visit from her friend, Mrs. Slimbridge,
+who was scarcely seated when she commenced with--"Well, Mrs. Clavering,
+I understand you are shortly to have a new aunt, and I have come to
+congratulate you on the joyful occasion."
+
+"A new aunt?" said Mrs. Clavering; "I am really at a loss to understand
+your meaning!" looking, however, as if she understood it perfectly.
+
+"Why, certainly," replied Mrs. Slimbridge, "it can be no news to _you_
+that Captain Kentledge is going to be married to Madame Franchimeau's
+niece, Mademoiselle Robertine. He was seen, yesterday morning, walking
+with her under the same umbrella!"
+
+"Well, and what of that?" interrupted Mrs. Clavering, fretfully; "does a
+gentleman never hold an umbrella over a lady's head unless he intends to
+marry her?"
+
+"Oh, as yet they do," replied Mrs. Slimbridge, "but I know not how much
+longer even that piece of civility will be continued--gentlemen are now
+so much afraid of committing themselves. But seriously, his seeing her
+home in the rain is not the most important part of the story. He drank
+tea at Franchimeau's last evening, and paid a long visit at the house
+this morning; and Emilie, their mulatto girl, told Mrs. Pinxton's Mary,
+and my Phillis had it direct from _her_, that she overheard Miss
+Robertine, persuading Captain Kentledge to have his queue cut off. The
+good gentleman, it seems, held out for a long time, but at last
+consented to lose it. However, I do not vouch for the truth of that part
+of the statement. Old seafaring men are so partial to their hair, and it
+is a point on which they are so obstinate, that I scarcely think Miss
+Robertine would have ventured so far."
+
+"Some young girls have boldness enough for anything," said Mrs.
+Clavering, with a toss of her head, and knowing in her own mind that the
+queue was really off.
+
+"Well," continued Mrs. Slimbridge, "the story is all over town that it
+is quite a settled thing; and, as I said, I have hastened to
+congratulate you."
+
+"Congratulate me! For what?" said Mrs. Clavering; with much asperity.
+
+"Why," returned Mrs. Slimbridge, "you know these French people are your
+bosom friends, and of course you must rejoice in the prospect of a
+nearer connexion with them. To be sure, it would be rather more
+gratifying if Miss Robertine was in a somewhat higher walk of life. You
+know it is whispered, that she is only a mantua-maker's girl, and that
+the dear friend whom Madame Franchimeau talks about, as having adopted
+her beloved Robertine (though she takes care never to mention the name
+of that dear friend), is in reality no other than the celebrated Madame
+Gigot, in whose dressmaking establishment Mademoiselle is hired to
+work."
+
+"Horrible!" was Mrs. Clavering's involuntary exclamation; but recovering
+herself, she continued--"But I can assure you, Mrs. Slimbridge, that I
+am perfectly convinced there is not a word of truth in the whole story.
+Captain Kentledge has certainly his peculiarities, but he is a man of
+too much sense to marry a young wife; and besides, his regard for my
+children is so great, that I am convinced it is his firm intention to
+live single for their sakes, that he may leave them the whole of his
+property. He thinks too much of the family to allow his money to go out
+of it."
+
+"All that may be," answered Mrs. Slimbridge; "but when an old man falls
+in love with a young girl, his regard for his own relations generally
+melts away like snow before the fire. I think you had better speak to
+Captain Kentledge on the subject. I advise you, as a friend, to do so,
+unless you conclude that opposition may only render him the more
+determined. Certainly one would not like to lose so much money out of
+the family, without making a little struggle to retain it. However, I
+must now take my leave. As a friend, I advise you to speak to Captain
+Kentledge."
+
+"I can assure you," replied Mrs. Clavering, as she accompanied her guest
+to the door, "this silly report gives me not the slightest uneasiness,
+as it is too absurd to merit one serious thought. I shall dismiss it
+from my mind with silent contempt. To mention it to Captain Kentledge
+would be really too ridiculous."
+
+As soon as she had got rid of her visitor, Mrs. Clavering hastily threw
+on her calash, and repaired at a brisk pace to Uncle Philip's cabin. She
+found him at his desk, busily employed in writing out for Robertine the
+words of "America, Commerce, and Freedom." She made a pretext for
+sending away Sam, and told Uncle Philip that she wished some private
+conversation with him. The old gentleman coloured, laid down his pen,
+and began to sit very uneasy on his chair, guessing what was to come.
+
+Mrs. Clavering then, without further hesitation, acquainted him with all
+she had heard, and asked him if it could possibly be true that he had
+any intention of marrying Robertine.
+
+"I don't know but I shall," said Uncle Philip.
+
+"You really shock me!" exclaimed Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"What is there so shocking," replied the old gentleman, "in my liking a
+pretty girl--ay, and in making her my wife, too, if I think proper? But
+that's as it may be--I have not yet made her the offer."
+
+Mrs. Clavering breathed again. "Really, Uncle Philip," said she, "I
+thought you had more sense, and knew more of the world. Can you not see
+at once that all she wants is your money? It is impossible she could
+have any other inducement."
+
+"I thank you for your compliment," said Uncle Philip, pulling up his
+shirt collar and taking a glance at the looking-glass.
+
+"Is the man an absolute fool?" thought Mrs. Clavering: "what can have
+got into him?" Then raising her voice, she exclaimed--"Is this, then,
+the end of all your aversion to the French?"
+
+"Then you should not have put the French in my way," said Uncle Philip:
+"it is all your own fault; and if I _should_ play the fool, you have
+nobody to thank but yourself. Why did you make me go to that supper?"
+
+"Why, indeed!" replied Mrs. Clavering, with a sigh: "but knowing how
+much you dislike foreigners and all their ways, such an idea as your
+falling in love with a French girl never for a moment entered my mind.
+But I can tell you one thing that will effectually put all thoughts of
+Miss Robertine out of your head."
+
+"What is that?" said Uncle Philip, starting and changing colour.
+
+"When I tell you that she is a mantua-maker," pursued Mrs. Clavering,
+"and in the employ of Madame Gigot of New York, you, of course, can
+never again think of her as a wife."
+
+"And why not?" said Uncle Philip, recovering himself--"why should not a
+mantua-maker be thought of as a wife? If that's all you have to say
+against her, it only makes me like her the better. I honour the girl for
+engaging in a business that procures her a decent living, and prevents
+her from being burdensome to her friends. Don't you know that a man can
+always raise his wife to his own level? It is only a woman that sinks by
+marrying beneath her; as I used to tell you when you fell in love with
+the players, the first winter you spent in New York."
+
+"I deny the players--I deny them altogether," said Mrs. Clavering, with
+much warmth: "all I admired was their spangled jackets and their caps
+and feathers, and I had some curiosity to see how they looked off the
+stage, and therefore was always glad when I met any of them in the
+street."
+
+"Well, well," replied Uncle Philip, "let the players pass; I was only
+joking."
+
+"And even if it were true," resumed Mrs. Clavering, "that I had
+particularly admired one or two of the most distinguished performers, I
+was then but a mere child, and there is a great difference between
+playing the fool at sixteen and at sixty."
+
+"I don't see the folly," said Uncle Philip, "of marrying a pretty young
+girl, who is so devotedly attached to me that she cannot possibly help
+showing it continually."
+
+"Robertine attached to _you_!" retorted Mrs. Clavering. "And can you
+really believe such an absurdity?"
+
+"I thank you again for the compliment," replied Uncle Philip: "but I
+know that such things _have been_, strange as they may appear to you. I
+believe I have all my life undervalued myself; and this young lady has
+opened my eyes."
+
+"Blinded them, rather," said Mrs. Clavering. "But for your own sake, let
+me advise you to give up this girl. No marriage, where there is so great
+a disparity of years, ever did or could, or ever will or can, turn out
+well--and so you will find to your sorrow."
+
+"I rather think I shall try the experiment," said Uncle Philip. "If I am
+convinced that Miss Robertine has really a sincere regard for me, I
+shall certainly make her Mrs. Kentledge--so I must tell you candidly
+that you need not say another word to me on the subject."
+
+He resumed his writing, and Mrs. Clavering, after pausing a few moments,
+saw the inutility of urging anything further, and walked slowly and
+sadly back to the house. The children's quarters at school had nearly
+expired, and she delighted them all with the information that, finding
+they had not made as much progress in French as she had expected, and
+having reason to believe that the plan of learning everything through
+the medium of that language was not a good one, she had determined that
+after this week they should quit Monsieur and Madame Franchimeau, and
+return to Mr. Fulmer and Miss Hickman. She ceased visiting the French
+family, who, conscious that they would now be unwelcome guests, did not
+approach Mrs. Clavering's house. But Uncle Philip regularly spent every
+evening with Robertine; and Mrs. Clavering did not presume openly to
+oppose what she now perceived to be his fixed intention; but she
+indulged herself in frequent innuendoes against everything French, which
+the old gentleman was ashamed to controvert, knowing how very recently
+he had been in the practice of annoying his niece by the vehement
+expression of his own prejudices against that singular people; and he
+could not help acknowledging to himself that though he liked Robertine,
+all the rest of her family were still fools. That the Franchimeaus and
+Ravigotes were ridiculous, vulgar pretenders, Mrs. Clavering was no
+longer slow in discovering; but she was so unjust as to consider them
+fair specimens of their nation, and to turn the tables so completely as
+to aver that nothing French was endurable. She even silenced the parrots
+whenever they said, "_Parlons toujours Francois_."[62]
+
+[Footnote 62: Let us always speak French.]
+
+One morning Uncle Philip was surprised in his cabin by the sudden
+appearance of a very tall, very slender young Frenchman, dressed in the
+extreme of dandyism; his long, thin face was of deadly whiteness, but
+his cheeks were tinted with rouge; he had large black eyes, and eyebrows
+arched up to a point; his immense whiskers were reddish, and met under
+his chin; but his hair was black, and arranged with great skill and care
+according to the latest fashion, and filling the apartment with the
+perfume of attar of roses.
+
+Immediately on entering, he strode up to Uncle Philip, and extending a
+hand whose fingers were decorated with half a dozen showy rings,
+presented to him a highly-scented rose-coloured card, which announced
+him as "Monsieur Achille Simagree de Lantiponne, of Paris."
+
+"Well, sir," said Uncle Philip, "and I am Captain Philip Kentledge, once
+of Salem, Massachusetts, and now of Corinth, New York."
+
+"_Oui, je le sais_,"[63] replied the Frenchman, in a loud shrill
+voice, and with a frown that was meant to be terrific. "_Oui,
+perfide--traitre--presque scelerat--tremblez! Je vous connois--tremblez,
+tremblez, je vous dit! Moi, c'est moi qui vous parle!_"[64]
+
+[Footnote 63: Yes, I know it.]
+
+[Footnote 64: Yes, perfidious man--traitor--almost rascal--tremble. I
+know you--tremble, tremble. I tell you--I--it is I that am speaking to
+you.]
+
+"What's all this for?" said Uncle Philip, looking amazed.
+
+"_Imbecil_," muttered Monsieur de Lantiponne; "_il ne comprend pas le
+Francais._[65] _Eh, bien_; I will, then, address you (_roturier comme
+vous etes_[66]) in perfect English, and very cool. How did you dare to
+have the temerity to rob from me the young miss, my _fiancee_, very soon
+my bride. Next month I should have conducted her up to the front of the
+altar. I had just taken four apartments in the Broadway--two for the
+exercise of my profession of artist in hair, and merchant of perfumes
+and all good smells; and two up the staircase, where Mademoiselle
+Robertine would pursue her dresses and her bonnets. United together, we
+should have made a large fortune. My father was a part of the noblesse
+of France, but we lost all our nobleness by the revolution. 'Virtue,
+though unfortunate, is always respectable;' that sentiment was inscribed
+above the door of my mamma's shop in the Palais Royal."
+
+[Footnote 65: Idiot--he does not understand French.]
+
+[Footnote 66: Plebeian as you are.]
+
+"Well," said Uncle Philip, "and what next?"
+
+"What next, _coquin_?"[67] continued the Frenchman, grinding his teeth.
+"Listen and die. Yesterday, I received from her this letter, enfolding a
+ring of my hair which once I had plaited for her. Now, I will overwhelm
+you with shame and repentance by reading to you this fatal letter,
+translating it into perfect English. _Ah! comme il est difficile
+d'etouffer mes emotions! N'importe, il faut un grand effort._"[68]
+
+[Footnote 67: Knave.]
+
+[Footnote 68: Ah! how difficult it is to stifle my emotions! No matter,
+I must make a great effort.]
+
+"Take a chair," said Uncle Philip, who was curious to know how all this
+would end; "when people are in great trouble, they had better be
+seated."
+
+"_Ecoutez_,"[69] said Lantiponne; "hear this lettre." He then commenced
+the epistle, first reading audibly a sentence in French, and then
+construing it into English:--
+
+[Footnote 69: Listen.]
+
+     CORINTH,----.
+
+     MY EVER DEAR FRIEND:
+
+     Destiny has decreed the separation of two hearts that should have
+     been disunited by death alone, and has brought me acquainted with
+     an old man who, since the moment of our introduction, has never
+     ceased to persecute me with the language of love. In vain did I fly
+     from him--for ever did he present himself before me with the most
+     audacious perseverance. My aunt (and what affectionate niece can
+     possibly disobey the commands of her father's sister-in-law?) has
+     ordered me to accept him; and I must now, like a mournful dove, be
+     sacrificed on the altar of Plutus. His name is Captain Kentledge,
+     but we generally call him Old Philip--sometimes the Triton, and
+     sometimes Sinbad, for he is a sailor, and very rich. He is a
+     stranger both to elegance and sentiment; of an exterior perfectly
+     revolting; and his manners are distinguished by a species of
+     brutality. It is impossible for me to regard him without horror.
+     But duty is the first consideration of a niece, and, though the
+     detestable Philip knows that my heart is devoted to my amiable
+     Achille, he takes a savage pleasure in urging me to name the day of
+     our marriage. Compassionate me, my ever dear Lantiponne. I know it
+     will be long before the wounds of our faithful hearts are
+     cicatrized.
+
+     I return you the little ring (so simple and so touching) that you
+     made me of your hair. But I will keep for ever the gold
+     essence-bottle and the silver toothpick, as emblems of your
+     tenderness. I shall often bathe them with my tears.
+
+     Adieu, my dear friend--my long-beloved Lantiponne. As Philip
+     Kentledge is very bald, I shall, when we are married, compel him to
+     wear a wig, and I will take care that he buys it of you. Likewise,
+     we shall get all our perfumery at your shop.
+
+     The inconsolable
+
+     ROBERTINE.
+
+     There are moments when my affliction is so great, that I think
+     seriously of charcoal. If you find it impossible to survive the
+     loss of your Robertine, that is the mode of death which you will
+     undoubtedly select, as being most generally approved in Paris. For
+     my own part, reason has triumphed, and I think it more heroic to
+     live and to suffer.
+
+Uncle Philip listened to this letter with all the indignation it was
+calculated to excite. But Sam and Dick were so diverted that they could
+not refrain from laughing all the time; and towards the conclusion, the
+old gentleman caught the contagion, and laughed also.
+
+"_Ah! scelerat--monstre--ogre!_"[70] exclaimed Lantiponne--"do you make
+your amusement of my sorrows? Render me, on this spot, the satisfaction
+due to a gentleman. It is for that I am come. Behold--here I offer you
+two pistoles--make your selection. Choose one this moment, or you die."
+
+[Footnote 70: Ah! villain--monster--ogre.]
+
+"Sam," said Uncle Philip, "hand me that stick."
+
+"Which one, uncle?" exclaimed Sam--"the hickory or the maple?"
+
+"The hickory," replied Uncle Philip.
+
+And as soon as he got it into his hand, he advanced towards the
+Frenchman, who drew back, but still extended the pistols, saying--"I
+will shoot off both--instantly I will present fire!"
+
+"Present fire if you dare," said Uncle Philip, brandishing his stick.
+
+Monsieur Simagree de Lantiponne lowered his pistols and walked backward
+towards the door, which was suddenly thrown open from without, so as
+nearly to push him down, and Robertine entered, followed by Madame
+Franchimeau. At the sight of Lantiponne, both ladies exclaimed--"_Ah!
+perfide! traitre!_" and a scene of violent recrimination took place in
+French--Madame Franchimeau declaring that she had never influenced her
+niece to give up her first lover for "Monsieur Philippe," but that the
+whole plan had originated with Robertine herself. Lantiponne, in
+deprecating the inconstancy of his mistress, complained bitterly of the
+useless expense he had incurred in hiring four rooms, when two would
+have sufficed, had he known in time that she intended to jilt him.
+Robertine reproached him with his dishonourable conduct in betraying her
+confidence and showing her letter to the very person who, above all
+others, ought not to have seen it; and she deeply regretted having been
+from home with her aunt and uncle when Lantiponne came to their house
+immediately on his arrival at Corinth, and before he had sought an
+interview with Captain Kentledge. He had seen only the old Ravigotes,
+who were so impolitic as to give him a direction to Uncle Philip's
+cabin, as soon as he inquired where his rival was to be found.
+
+The altercation was so loud and so violent, that Uncle Philip finally
+demanded silence in the startling and authoritative tone to which he had
+accustomed himself when issuing his orders on ship-board; putting his
+hands before his mouth and hallooing through them as substitutes for a
+speaking trumpet. He was not so ungallant as to say that in reality the
+lady had made the first advances, but he addressed his audience in the
+following words:--
+
+"I tell you what, my friends, here's a great noise to little purpose,
+and much shrugging, and stamping, and flourishing of hands, that might
+as well be let alone. As for me, take notice, that I am quite out of the
+question, and after this day I'll have nothing more to do with any of
+you. I'm thankful to this young fellow for having opened my eyes; though
+I can't approve of his showing me his sweetheart's letter. He has saved
+me from the greatest act of folly an old man can commit, that of
+marrying a young girl. I shall take care not to make a jackass of myself
+another time."
+
+Sam and Dick exchanged looks of congratulation.
+
+"Now," continued Uncle Philip, "if, after all this, the young barber-man
+is still willing to take the girl, I know not what better either of them
+can do than to get married off-hand. I shall not feel quite satisfied
+till I have seen the ceremony myself, so let it take place immediately.
+I happen to have a hundred dollar bill in my pocket-book, so I'll give
+it to them for a wedding present. Come, I'm waiting for an answer."
+
+Madame Franchimeau and the young couple all hesitated.
+
+"Uncle," whispered Sam, "they have just been quarrelling violently--how
+can you expect them to get over it so soon, and be married directly?"
+
+"Pho!" replied Uncle Philip, "an't they French?"
+
+There was a pause of some moments. At last Robertine put on her best
+smile, and said in French to Lantiponne--"My estimable friend, pardon
+the errors of a young and simple heart, which has never for a moment
+ceased to love you."
+
+"What candour!" exclaimed Lantiponne--"what adorable frankness! Charming
+Robertine!"--kissing her hand--"more dear to me than ever."
+
+The aunt, though much displeased at Robertine for missing Uncle Philip,
+thought it best that the affair should go off with as good a grace as
+possible, and she exclaimed, while she wiped tears of vexation from her
+eyes--"How sweet to witness this reunion!"
+
+"Boys," said Uncle Philip, "which of you will run for Squire Van
+Tackemfast? To prevent all future risks, we'll have the marriage here on
+the spot, and Miss Robertine shall return to New York to-day as
+Madame"--he had to consult the young Frenchman's card--"as Madame
+Achille Simagree de Lantiponne."
+
+Both boys instantly set off for the magistrate, but as Sam ran fastest,
+Dick gave up the chase, and turned to the house, where he startled his
+mother by exclaiming--"Make haste--make haste down to the cabin--there's
+to be marrying there directly."
+
+"Shocking!" cried Mrs. Clavering, throwing away her sewing. "Is Uncle
+Philip really going to play the madman? Can there be no way of saving
+him?"
+
+"He _is_ saved," replied Dick; "he has just been saved by a French
+barber, Miss Robertine's old sweetheart; and so Uncle Philip is going to
+have them married out of the way, as soon as possible. I suppose he is
+determined that Miss Robertine shall not have the least chance of making
+another dead set at him. Sam is gone for Squire Van Tackemfast."
+
+"But the cabin is no place for a wedding," said Mrs. Clavering.
+
+"Why," replied Dick, "Uncle Philip seems determined not to quit the
+cabin till all danger is over. Dear mother, make haste, or Miss
+Robertine may yet win him back again."
+
+Mrs. Clavering hastily changed her cap, and ordered a servant to follow
+with cake and wine; and on their way to the cabin Dick gave her an
+account of all that had passed. In a few minutes Sam arrived,
+accompanied by Squire Van Tackemfast, with whom Captain Kentledge
+exchanged a few explanatory words. There was no time for any further
+preparation. Uncle Philip instantly put the hand of Robertine into that
+of her lover. The young couple stood up before the magistrate, who
+merely uttered a few words, but which were sufficient in law to unite
+them for ever--"In the name of the commonwealth, I pronounce you man and
+wife." This was the whole of the ceremony; the magistrate writing a
+certificate, which was duly signed by all present.
+
+"Now," said Uncle Philip, looking at his watch and addressing
+Lantiponne, "the steamboat will soon be along, and if you are going down
+to the city to-day, you will have little enough time to make your
+preparations."
+
+The bride and groom curtsied and bowed gracefully, and departed with
+Madame Franchimeau, whose last words were--"What a surprise for Monsieur
+Franchimeau, and also for papa and mamma and my little darlings!"
+
+When they were all fairly off, Mrs. Clavering felt as if relieved from
+the weight of a mountain; and she could not quit the cabin till she had
+had a long discussion with Uncle Philip on the recent events.
+
+In about an hour, the steamboat passed along, going close in shore to
+get all the advantage of the tide; and Robertine, who stood on the deck
+leaning on her husband's arm, smiled and waved her handkerchief to Uncle
+Philip.
+
+To conclude--it was not long before the old gentleman prevailed on Mrs.
+Clavering and her family to remove with him to a house of his own at
+Salem, a plan which had been in agitation for the last year; and in due
+time the boys commenced their apprenticeships, Sam to the captain of an
+Indiaman, and Dick to a shipbuilder. Both succeeded well; and have since
+become eminent in their respective professions.
+
+Uncle Philip looks not much older than when he first allowed himself to
+be smitten with Miss Robertine; but he has never since fallen into a
+similar snare. He has made his will, and divided his whole property
+between Mrs. Clavering and her children, with the exception of some
+legacies to old sailors.
+
+The Simagree de Lantiponnes have a large establishment in Broadway.
+
+The Franchimeaus and their system soon got out of favour at Corinth, and
+they have ever since been going the rounds of new villages.
+
+
+
+
+THE ALBUM.
+
+     "Tis not in mortals to command success."--ADDISON.
+
+
+"Ungallant!--unmilitary!" exclaimed the beautiful Orinda Melbourne, to
+her yet unprofessed lover, Lieutenant Sunderland, as in the decline of a
+summer afternoon they sat near an open window in the northwest parlour
+of Mr. Cozzens's house at West Point, where as yet there was no hotel.
+"And do you steadily persist in refusing to write in my album? Really,
+you deserve to be dismissed the service for unofficer-like conduct."
+
+"I have forsworn albums," replied Sunderland, "and for at least a dozen
+reasons. In the first place, the gods have not made me poetical."
+
+"Ah!" interrupted Miss Melbourne, "you remind me of the well-known story
+of the mayor of a French provincial town, who informed the king that the
+worthy burgesses had fifteen reasons for not doing themselves the honour
+of firing a salute on his majesty's arrival: the first reason being that
+they had no cannon."
+
+"A case in point," remarked Sunderland.
+
+"Well," resumed Orinda, "I do not expect you to surpass the glories of
+Byron and Moore."
+
+"Nothing is more contemptible than _mediocre_ poetry," observed
+Sunderland; "the magazines and souvenirs have surfeited the world with
+it."
+
+"I do not require you to be even _mediocre_," persisted the young lady.
+"Give me something ludicrously bad, and I shall prize it almost as
+highly as if it were seriously good. I need not remind you of the
+hackneyed remarks, that extremes meet, and that there is but one step
+from the sublime to the ridiculous. Look at this Ode to West Point,
+written in my album by a very obliging cadet, a room-mate of my
+brother's. It is a perfect gem. How I admire these lines--
+
+    'The steamboat up the river shoots,
+    While Willis on his bugle toots.'"
+
+"Wo to the man," said Sunderland, "who subjects his poetical reputation
+to the ordeal of a lady's album, where all, whether gifted or ungifted,
+are expected to do their best."
+
+"You are mistaken," replied Orinda; "that expectation has long since
+gone by. We have found, by experience, that either from negligence or
+perverseness, gentlemen are very apt to write their worst in our
+albums."
+
+"I do not wonder at it," said Sunderland. "However, I must retrieve my
+character as a knight of chivalry. Appoint me any other task, and I will
+pledge myself to perform your bidding. Let your request 'take any shape
+but that, and my firm nerves shall never tremble.'"
+
+"But why this inveterate horror of albums?" asked Orinda. "Have you had
+any experience in them?"
+
+"I have, to my sorrow," replied Sunderland. "With me, I am convinced,
+'the course of albums never will run smooth.' For instance, I once, by
+means of an album, lost the lady of my love (I presume not to say the
+love of my lady.)"
+
+Orinda looked up and looked down, and "a change came o'er the spirit of
+her face:" which change was not unnoticed by her yet undeclared admirer,
+whose acquaintance with Miss Melbourne commenced on a former visit she
+had made to West Point, to see her brother, who was one of the cadets of
+the Military Academy.
+
+Orinda Melbourne was now in her twenty-first year, at her own disposal
+(having lost both her parents), and mistress of considerable property, a
+great part of which had been left to her by an aunt. She resided in the
+city of New York, with Mr. and Mrs. Ledbury, two old and intimate
+friends of her family, and they had accompanied her to West Point. She
+was universally considered a very charming girl, and by none more so
+than by Lieutenant Sunderland. But hearing that Miss Melbourne had
+declined the addresses of several very unexceptionable gentlemen, our
+hero was trying to delay an explicit avowal of his sentiments, till he
+should discover some reason to hope that the disclosure would be
+favourably received.
+
+Like most other men, on similar occasions, he gave a favourable
+interpretation to the emotion involuntarily evinced by the young lady,
+on hearing him allude to his former flame.
+
+There was a pause of a few moments, till Orinda rallied, and said with
+affected carelessness, "You may as well tell me the whole story, as we
+seem to have nothing better to talk of."
+
+"Well, then," proceeded Sunderland, "during one of my visits to the
+city, I met with a very pretty young lady from Brooklyn. Her name is of
+course unmentionable; but I soon found myself, for the first time in my
+life, a little in love--"
+
+"I suspect it was not merely a little," remarked Orinda, with a
+penetrating glance; "it is said, that in love the first fit is always
+the strongest."
+
+"No, no!" exclaimed Sunderland; "I deny the truth of that opinion. It is
+a popular fallacy--I know it is," fixing his eyes on Orinda.
+
+At that minute, the young officer would have given a year's pay to be
+certain whether the glow that heightened Miss Melbourne's complexion,
+was a _bona fide_ blush, or only the reflection of the declining
+sunbeams, as they streamed from under a dark cloud that was hovering
+over the western hills. However, after a few moments' consideration, he
+again interpreted favourably.
+
+"Proceed, Mr. Sunderland," said Orinda in rather a tremulous voice;
+"tell me all the particulars."
+
+"Of the album I will," replied he. "Well, then--this young lady was one
+of the belles of Brooklyn, and certainly very handsome."
+
+"Of what colour were her eyes and hair?" inquired Orinda.
+
+"Light--both very light."
+
+Orinda, who was a brunette, caught herself on the point of saying, that
+she had rarely seen much expression in the countenance of a blonde; but
+she checked the remark, and Sunderland proceeded.
+
+"The lady in question had a splendidly bound album, which she produced
+and talked about on all occasions, and seemed to regard with so much
+pride and admiration, that if a lover could possibly have been jealous
+of a book, I was, at times, very near becoming so. It was half filled
+with amatory verses by juvenile rhymesters, and with tasteless insipid
+drawings in water colours, by boarding-school misses: which drawings my
+Dulcinea persisted in calling paintings. She also persisted in urging me
+to write 'a piece of poetry' in her album, and I persevered in declaring
+my utter inability: as my few attempts at versification had hitherto
+proved entire failures. At last, I reluctantly consented, recollecting
+to have heard of sudden fits of inspiration, and of miraculous gifts of
+poetical genius, with which even milkmaids and cobblers have been
+unexpectedly visited. So taking the album with me, I retired to the
+solitude of my apartment at the City Hall, concluding with Macbeth that
+when a thing is to be well done, 'tis well to do it quickly. Here I
+manfully made my preparations 'to saddle Pegasus and ride up
+Parnassus'--but in vain. With me the winged steed of Apollo was as
+obstinate as a Spanish mule on the Sierra Morena. Not an inch would he
+stir. There was not even the slightest flutter in his pinions; and the
+mountain of the Muses looked to me as inaccessible as--as what shall I
+say--"
+
+"I will help you to a simile," replied Orinda; "as inaccessible as the
+sublime and stupendous precipice to which you West Pointers have given
+the elegant and appropriate title of Butter Hill."
+
+"Exactly," responded Sunderland. "Parnassus looked like Butter Hill.
+Well, then--to be brief (as every man says when he suspects himself to
+be tedious), I sat up till one o'clock, vainly endeavouring to
+manufacture something that might stand for poetry. But I had no rhymes
+for my ideas, and no ideas for my rhymes. I found it impossible to make
+both go together. I at last determined to write my verses in prose till
+I had arranged the sense, and afterwards to put them into measure and
+rhyme. I tried every sort of measure from six feet to ten, and I essayed
+consecutive rhymes and alternate rhymes, but all was in vain. I found
+that I must either sacrifice the sense to the sound, or the sound to the
+sense. At length, I thought of the Bouts Rimees of the French. So I
+wrote down, near the right hand edge of my paper, a whole column of
+familiar rhymes, such as mine, thine, tears, fears, light, bright, &c.
+And now I congratulated myself on having accomplished one-half of my
+task, supposing that I should find it comparatively easy to do the
+filling up. But all was to no purpose. I could effect nothing that I
+thought even tolerable, and I was too proud to write badly and be
+laughed at. However, I must acknowledge that, could I have been certain
+that my 'piece of poetry' would be seen only by the fair damsel herself,
+I might easily have screwed my courage to the sticking place; for
+greatly as I was smitten with the beauty of my little nymph, I had a
+secret misgiving that she had never sacrificed to Minerva."
+
+Our hero paused a moment to admire the radiance of the smile that now
+lighted up the countenance of Orinda.
+
+"In short," continued he, "I sat up till 'night's candles were burnt
+out,' both literally and metaphorically, and I then retired in despair
+to my pillow, from whence I did not rise till ten o'clock in the
+morning.
+
+"That evening I carried back the album to my fair one; but she still
+refused to let me off, and insisted that I should take it with me to
+West Point, to which place I was to return next day. I did so, hoping to
+catch some inspiration from the mountain air, and the mountain scenery.
+I ought to have recollected that few of the poets on record, either
+lived among mountains, or wrote while visiting them. The sons of song
+are too often fated to set up their household gods, and strike their
+lyres, in dark narrow streets and dismal alleys.
+
+"As soon as the steamboat had cleared the city, I took out my
+pocket-book and pencil, and prepared for the onset. I now regarded the
+ever-beautiful scenery of the magnificent Hudson with a new interest. I
+thought the Palisades would do something for me; but my imagination
+remained as sterile and as impenetrable as their eternal rocks. The
+broad expanse of the Tappan Sea lay like a resplendent mirror around me,
+but it reflected no image that I could transfer to my tablets. We came
+into the Highlands, but the old Dundeberg rumbled nothing in my fancy's
+ears, Anthony's Nose looked coldly down upon me, and the Sugar Loaf
+suggested no idea of sweetness. We proceeded along, but Buttermilk Falls
+reminded me not of the fountain of Helicon, and Bull Hill and Breakneck
+Hill seemed too rugged ever to be smoothed into verse.
+
+"That afternoon I went up to Fort Putnam, for the hundred and twentieth
+time in my life. I walked round the dismantled ramparts; I looked into
+their damp and gloomy cells. I thought (as is the duty of every one that
+visits these martial ruins) on the 'pride, pomp, and circumstance of
+glorious war.' But they inspired nothing that I could turn to account in
+my lady's album; nothing that could serve to introduce the compliment
+always expected in the last stanza. And, in truth, this compliment was
+the chief stumbling-block after all. 'But for these vile compliments, I
+might myself have been an album-poet.'"
+
+"Is it then so difficult to compliment a lady?" inquired Orinda.
+
+"Not in plain prose," replied Sunderland, "and when the lady is a little
+_a l'imbecile_, nothing in the world is more easy. But even in prose, to
+compliment a sensible woman as she deserves, and without danger of
+offending her modesty, requires both tact and talent."
+
+"Which I suppose is the reason," said Orinda, "that sensible women
+obtain so few compliments from your sex, and fools so many."
+
+"True," replied Sunderland. "But such compliments as we wish to offer to
+elegant and intellectual females, are as orient pearls compared to
+French beads."
+
+Orinda cast down her beautiful eyes under the expressive glance of her
+admirer. She felt that she was now receiving a pearl.
+
+"But to proceed," continued Sunderland. "I came down from the fort no
+better poet than I went up, and I had recourse again to the solitude of
+my own room. Grown desperate, and determined to get the album off my
+mind and have it over, an idea struck me which I almost blush to
+mention. Promise not to look at me, and I will amaze you with my
+candour."
+
+Orinda pretended to hold her fan before her eyes.
+
+"Are you sure you are not peeping between the stems of the feathers?"
+said Sunderland. "Well, then, now for my confession; but listen to it
+'more in sorrow than in anger,' and remember that the album alone was
+the cause of my desperation and my dishonour. Some Mephistopheles
+whispered in my ear to look among the older poets for something but
+little known, and transfer it as mine to a page in the fatal book. I
+would not, of course, venture on Scott or Moore or Byron; for though I
+doubted whether my lady-love was better versed in _them_ than in the
+bards of Queen Anne's reign, yet I thought that perhaps some of the
+readers of her album might be acquainted with the last and best of the
+minstrels. But on looking over a volume of Pope, I found his 'Song by a
+Person of Quality.'"
+
+"I recollect it," said Orinda; "it is a satire on the amateur
+love-verses of that period,--such as were generally produced by
+fashionable inamoratoes. In these stanzas the author has purposely
+avoided every approach to sense or connexion, but has assembled together
+a medley of smooth and euphonous sounds. And could you risk such verses
+with your Dulcinea?"
+
+"Yes," replied Sunderland; "with _her_ I knew that I was perfectly safe,
+and that she would pronounce them sweet and delightful. And in short,
+that they would exactly suit the calibre of her understanding."
+
+"Yet still," said Orinda, "with such an opinion of her mental
+qualifications, you professed to love this young lady--or rather you
+really loved her--no doubt you did."
+
+"No, no," replied Sunderland, eagerly; "it was only a passing whim--only
+a boyish fancy--such as a man may feel a dozen times before he is
+five-and-twenty, and before he is seriously in love. I should have told
+you that at this period I had not yet arrived at years of discretion."
+
+"I should have guessed it without your telling," said Orinda,
+mischievously.
+
+The young officer smiled, and proceeded.
+
+"I now saw my way clear. So I made a new pen, placed Pope on my desk,
+and sitting down to the album with a lightened spirit, I began with the
+first stanza of his poem:
+
+    'Fluttering spread thy purple pinions,
+      Gentle Cupid, o'er my heart--
+    I a slave in thy dominions,
+      Nature must give way to art.'
+
+And I then added the second and sixth verses, substituting the name of
+my fair one for that of Aurelia."
+
+"What would I not give to know that name!" thought Orinda. "But, in
+those verses," she remarked to Sunderland, "if I recollect aright, there
+is no direct compliment to the lady's beauty."
+
+"But there is a very great one by implication," answered the lieutenant.
+"For instance, the line--'Hear me pay my dying vows.'--What more could I
+profess than to die for love of her! And a lady that is died for, must
+of course be superlatively charming. In short, I finished the verses,
+and I must say they were very handsomely transcribed. Now, do not laugh.
+Is it not more excusable to take some pride in writing a good hand, than
+to boast of scribbling a bad one? I have known persons who seemed
+absolutely to plume themselves on the illegibility of their scrawls;
+because, unfortunately, so many men of genius have indulged in a most
+shameful style of chirography.
+
+"Well, I viewed my performance with much satisfaction, and then
+proceeded to look attentively through the album (I had as yet but
+glanced over it), to see if any one excelled me in calligraphy. What was
+my horror, when I found among a multitude of Lines to Zephyrs and
+Dew-drops, and Stanzas to Rose-buds and Violets, the identical verses
+that I had just copied from Pope! Some other poor fellow, equally hard
+pressed, had been beforehand with me, and committed the very same theft;
+which, in his case, appeared to me enormous. I pronounced it 'flat
+burglary,' and could have consigned him to the penitentiary 'for the
+whole term of his natural life.' To be compelled to commit a robbery is
+bad enough, but to be anticipated in the very same robbery, and to find
+that you have burdened your conscience, and jeoparded your self-respect
+for nothing, is worse still."
+
+"There was one way," observed Orinda, "in which you could have
+extricated yourself from the dilemma. You might have cut out the leaf,
+and written something else on another."
+
+"That was the very thing I finally determined on doing," replied
+Sunderland. "So after a pause of deep distress, I took my penknife, and
+did cut out the leaf: resolving that for my next 'writing-piece,' I
+would go as far back as the poets of Elizabeth's time. While pleasing
+myself with the idea that all was now safe, I perceived, in moving the
+book, that another leaf was working its way out; and I found, to my
+great consternation, that I had cut too deeply, and that I had loosened
+a page on which was faintly drawn in a lady's hand a faint Cupid
+shooting at a faint heart, encircled with a wreath of faint flowers. I
+recollected that my 'fair one with locks of gold,' had pointed out to me
+this performance as 'the sweetest thing in her album.'"
+
+"By-the-bye," remarked Orinda, "when you found so much difficulty in
+composing verses, why did you not substitute a drawing?"
+
+"Oh!" replied the lieutenant, "though I am at no loss in military
+drawing, and can finish my bastions, and counterscarps, and ravelins,
+with all due neatness, yet my miscellaneous sketches are very much in
+the style of scene-painting, and totally unfit to be classed with the
+smooth, delicate, half-tinted prettinesses that are peculiar to ladies'
+albums."
+
+"Now," said Orinda, "I am going to see how you will bear a compliment.
+I know that your drawings are bold and spirited, and such as the artists
+consider very excellent for an amateur, and therefore I will excuse you
+from writing verses in my album, on condition that you make me a sketch,
+in your own way, of my favourite view of Fort Putnam--I mean that fine
+scene of the west side which bursts suddenly upon you when going thither
+by the back road that leads through the woods. How sublime is the
+effect, when you stand at the foot of the dark gray precipice, feathered
+as it is with masses of beautiful foliage, and when you look up to its
+lofty summit, where the living rock seems to blend itself with the
+dilapidated ramparts of the mountain fortress!"
+
+"To attempt such a sketch for Miss Melbourne," replied Sunderland, with
+much animation, "I shall consider both a pleasure and an honour. But
+Loves and Doves, and Roses and Posies, are entirely out of my line, or
+rather out of the line of my pencil. Now, where was I? I believe I was
+telling of my confusion when I found that I had inadvertently cut out
+the young lady's pet Cupid."
+
+"But did it not strike you," said Orinda, "that the easiest course,
+after all, was to go to your demoiselle, and make a candid confession of
+the whole? which she would undoubtedly have regarded in no other light
+than as a subject of amusement, and have been too much diverted to feel
+any displeasure."
+
+"Ah! you must not judge of every one by yourself," replied Sunderland.
+"I thought for a moment of doing what you now suggest, but after a
+little consideration, I more than suspected that my candour would be
+thrown away upon the perverse little damsel that owned the album, and
+that any attempt to take a ludicrous view of the business would
+mortally offend her. All young ladies are not like Miss Orinda
+Melbourne"--(bowing as he spoke).
+
+Orinda turned her head towards the window, and fixed her eyes intently
+on the top of the Crow's Nest. This time the suffusion on her cheeks was
+not in the least doubtful.
+
+"Well, then," continued Sunderland, "that I might remedy the disaster as
+far as possible, I procured some fine paste, and was proceeding to
+cement the leaf to its predecessor, when, in my agitation, a drop of the
+paste fell on the Cupid's face. In trying to absorb it with the corner
+of a clean handkerchief, I 'spread the ruin widely round,' and smeared
+off his wings, which unfortunately grew out of the back of his neck: a
+very pardonable mistake, as the fair artist had probably never seen a
+live Cupid. I was now nearly frantic, and I enacted sundry ravings 'too
+tedious to mention.' The first use I made of my returning senses was to
+employ a distinguished artist (then on a visit to West Point) to execute
+on another leaf, another Cupid, with bow and arrow, heart and roses, &c.
+He made a beautiful little thing, a design of his own, which alone was
+worth a thousand album drawings of the usual sort. I was now quite
+reconciled to the disaster, which had given me an opportunity of
+presenting the young lady with a precious specimen of taste and genius.
+As soon as it was finished, I obtained leave of absence for a few days,
+went down to the city, and, album in hand, repaired to my Brooklyn
+beauty. I knew that, with her, there would be no use in telling the
+whole truth, and nothing but the truth; and I acknowledge, with shame,
+that I suppressed the fact of my copying Pope's verses. I merely said
+that, not being quite satisfied with my poetry, I had cut out the leaf;
+and I then went on to relate the remainder exactly as it happened. As I
+proceeded, I observed her brows beginning to contract, and her lips
+beginning to pout. 'Well, sir,' said she, with her eyes flashing (for I
+now found that even blue eyes could flash), 'I think you have been
+taking great liberties with my album: cutting and clipping it, and
+smearing it with paste, and spoiling my best Cupid, and then getting a
+man to put another picture into it, without asking my leave.'
+
+"Much disconcerted, I made many apologies, all of which she received
+with a very ill grace. I ventured to point out to her the superiority of
+the drawing that had been made by the artist.
+
+"'I see no beauty in it,' she exclaimed; 'the shading is not half so
+much blended as Miss Cottonwool's, and it does not look half so soft.'"
+
+"I have observed," said Orinda, "that persons who in reality know but
+little of the art, always dwell greatly on what they call softness."
+
+"I endeavoured to reconcile her to the drawing," continued Sunderland;
+"but she persisted in saying that it was nothing to compare to Miss
+Cottonwool's, which she alleged was of one delicate tint throughout,
+while this was very light in some places and very dark in others, and
+that she could actually see distinctly where most of the touches were
+put on, 'when in paintings that are really handsome,' said she, 'all the
+shading is blended together, and looks soft.'
+
+"To conclude, she would not forgive me; and, in sober truth, I must
+acknowledge that the petulance and silliness she evinced on this
+occasion, took away much of my desire to be restored to favour. Next
+day, I met her walking on the Battery, in high flirtation with an old
+West Indian planter, who espoused her in the course of a fortnight, and
+carried her to Antigua."
+
+Orinda now gave an involuntary and almost audible sigh; feeling a
+sensation of relief on hearing that her rival by anticipation was
+married and gone, and entirely _hors de combat_.
+
+Mr. and Mrs. Ledbury, who had been taking a long walk, now came in; and
+shortly after, the bell rang for tea. And when Orinda took the offered
+arm of Sunderland (as he conducted her to the table), she felt a
+presentiment that, before many days, the important question would be
+asked and answered.
+
+The evening on which our story commences, was that of the 3d of July,
+1825, and tea was scarcely over at the Mess House when an orderly
+sergeant came round with a notice for the officers to assemble in
+uniform at the dock, to receive General La Fayette, who was expected in
+half an hour.
+
+The guest of the nation had visited the Military Academy soon after his
+arrival in America. He had there been introduced to Cadet Huger, the son
+of that gallant Carolinian who, in conjunction with the generous and
+enterprising Bollman, had so nearly succeeded in the hazardous attempt
+of delivering him from the dungeons of Olmutz.
+
+La Fayette was now on his return from his memorable tour throughout the
+United States. Major Worth,[71] who was in command at West Point during
+the temporary absence of Colonel Thayer, happened to be at Newburgh when
+the steamboat arrived there, in which La Fayette was proceeding down the
+river from Albany to New York; and he invited the General to stop at
+West Point, and remain till the next boat. The invitation was promptly
+accepted, and Major Worth instantly despatched a messenger with the
+intelligence; wishing to give the residents of the post an opportunity
+of making such preparations for the reception of their distinguished
+visiter as the shortness of the time would allow.
+
+[Footnote 71: Afterwards General Worth.]
+
+The officers hastily put on their full dress uniform, and repaired to
+the wharf, or dock, as it was called. The band (at that time the finest
+in America) was already there. The ladies assembled on the high bank
+that overlooks the river, and from thence witnessed the arrival of La
+Fayette.
+
+On the heights above the landing-place, and near the spot where the
+hotel has been since erected, appeared an officer, and a detachment of
+soldiers, waiting, with a lighted match, to commence the salute; for
+which purpose several pieces of artillery had been conveyed thither.
+
+The twilight of a summer evening was accelerated by a vast and heavy
+cloud, portentous of a thunderstorm. It had overspread the west, and
+loured upon the river, on whose yet unruffled waters the giant shadows
+of the mountains were casting a still deeper gloom. Beyond Polipel's
+Island was seen the coming steamboat, looking like an immense star upon
+a level with the horizon. There was a solemn silence all around, which
+was soon broken by the sound of the paddles, that were heard when the
+boat was as far off as Washington's Valley: and, in a few minutes, her
+dense shower of sparks and her wreath of red smoke were vividly defined
+upon the darkening sky.
+
+The boat was soon at the wharf; and, at the moment that La Fayette
+stepped on shore, the officers took off their hats, the band struck up
+Hail Columbia, and, amid the twilight gloom and the darkness of the
+impending thundercloud, it was chiefly by the flashes of the guns from
+the heights that the scene was distinctly visible. The lightning of
+heaven quivered also on the water; and the mountain echoes repeated the
+low rolling of the distant thunder in unison with the loud roar of the
+cannon.
+
+The general, accompanied by his son, and by his secretary, Levasseur,
+walked slowly up the hill, leaning on the arm of Major Worth, preceded
+by the band playing La Fayette's March, and followed by the officers and
+professors of the Institution. When they had ascended to the plain, they
+found the houses lighted up, and the camp of the cadets illuminated
+also. They proceeded to the Mess House, and as soon as they had entered,
+the musicians ranged themselves under the elms in front, and commenced
+Yankee Doodle; the quickstep to which La Fayette, at the head of his
+American division, had marched to the attack at the siege of Yorktown.
+
+While the General was partaking of some refreshment, the officers and
+professors returned for the ladies, all of whom were desirous of an
+introduction to him. Many children were also brought and presented to
+the far-famed European, who had so importantly assisted in obtaining
+for them and for their fathers, the glorious immunities of independence.
+
+The star has now set which shone so auspiciously for our country at that
+disastrous period of our revolutionary struggle--
+
+    "When hope was sinking in dismay,
+    And gloom obscured Columbia's day."
+
+Mouldering into dust is that honoured hand which was clasped with such
+deep emotion by the assembled sons and daughters of the nation in whose
+cause it had first unsheathed the sword of liberty. And soon will that
+noble and generous heart, so replete with truth and benevolence, be
+reduced to "a clod of the valley." Yet, may we not hope that from the
+world of eternity, of which his immortal spirit is now an inhabitant, he
+looks down with equal interest on the land of his nativity, and on the
+land of his adoption: that country so bound to him by ties of
+everlasting gratitude; that country where all were his friends, as he
+was the friend of all.
+
+Tears suffused the beautiful eyes of Orinda Melbourne, when, introduced
+by her lover, she took the offered hand of La Fayette, and her voice
+trembled as she replied to the compliment of the patriot of both
+hemispheres. Sunderland remarked to the son of the illustrious veteran,
+that it gave him much pleasure to see that the General's long and
+fatiguing journey had by no means impaired his healthful appearance, but
+that, on the contrary, he now looked better than he had done on his
+first arrival in America. "Ah!" replied Colonel La Fayette, "how could
+my father suffer from fatigue, when every day was a day of happiness!"
+
+After Orinda had resigned her place to another lady, she said to
+Sunderland, who stood at the back of her chair--"What would I not give
+for La Fayette's autograph in my album!"
+
+"Still harping on the album," said Sunderland, smiling.
+
+"Excuse me this once," replied Orinda. "I begin to think as you do with
+respect to albums, but if nothing else can be alleged in their favour,
+they may, at least, be safe and convenient depositories for mementoes of
+those whose names are their history. All I presume to wish or to hope
+from La Fayette, is simply his signature. But I have not courage myself
+to ask such a favour. Will you convey my request to him?"
+
+"Willingly," answered Sunderland. "But he will grant that request still
+more readily if it comes from your own lips. Let us wait awhile, and I
+will see that you have an opportunity."
+
+In a short time, nearly all the company had departed, except those that
+were inmates of the house. The gentlemen having taken home the ladies,
+returned for the purpose of remaining with La Fayette till the boat came
+along in which he was to proceed to the city.
+
+Orinda took her album; her admirer conducted her to the General, and
+with much confusion she proffered her request; Sunderland brought him a
+standish, and he wrote the name "La Fayette" in the centre of a blank
+page, which our heroine presented to him: it having on each side other
+blank leaves that Orinda determined should never be filled up. Highly
+gratified at becoming the possessor of so valued a signature, she could
+scarcely refrain, in her enthusiasm, from pressing the leaf to her lips,
+when she soon after retired with Mrs. Ledbury.
+
+The officers remained with General La Fayette till the arrival of the
+boat, which came not till near twelve o'clock. They then accompanied him
+to the wharf, and took their final leave. The thunderstorm had gone
+round without discharging its fury on West Point, and everything had
+turned out propitiously for the General's visit; which was perhaps the
+more pleasant for having been so little expected.
+
+The following day was the Fourth of July, and the next was the one fixed
+on by Mr. and Mrs. Ledbury for returning to New York. That morning, at
+the breakfast-table, the number of guests was increased by the presence
+of a Mr. Jenkins, who had come from the city in the same boat with Miss
+Melbourne and her friends, and after passing a few days at West Point,
+had gone up the river to visit some relations at Poughkeepsie, from
+whence he had just returned. Mr. Jenkins was a shallow, conceited,
+over-dressed young man, and, moreover, extremely ugly, though of this
+misfortune he was not in the least aware. He was of a family whose
+wealth had not made them genteel. He professed great politeness to the
+ladies, that is, if they had beauty and money; yet he always declared
+that he would marry nothing under a hundred thousand dollars. But he was
+good-natured; and that, and his utter insignificance, got him along
+tolerably well, for no one ever thought it worth while to be offended at
+his folly and self-sufficiency.
+
+After breakfast, Mrs. Ledbury asked Orinda if she had prevailed on Mr.
+Sunderland to write an article in her album, adding--"I heard you urging
+him to that effect the other day, as I passed the front parlour."
+
+"I found him inexorable, as to writing," replied Orinda.
+
+"Well, really," said Mr. Jenkins, "I don't know how a gentleman can
+reconcile himself to refuse anything a lady asks. And he an officer too!
+For my part, I always hold it my bounden duty to oblige the ladies, and
+never on any account to treat them with _hauteur_, as the French call
+it. To be sure, I am not a marrying man--that is, I do not marry under a
+hundred thousand--but still, that is no reason why I should not be
+always polite and agreeable. _Apropos_, as the French say--_apropos_,
+Miss Melbourne, you know _I_ offered the other day to write something
+for you in your album, and I will do it with all the pleasure in life. I
+am very partial to albums, and quite _au-fait_ to them, to use a French
+term."
+
+"We return to the city this afternoon," said Orinda. "You will scarcely
+have time to add anything to the treasures of _my_ album."
+
+"Oh! it won't take me long," replied Jenkins; "short and sweet is _my_
+motto. There will be quite time enough. You see I have already finished
+my breakfast. I am not the least of a _gourmand_, to borrow a word from
+the French."
+
+Orinda had really some curiosity to see a specimen of Jenkins's poetry:
+supposing that, like the poor cadet's, it might be amusingly bad.
+Therefore, having sent for her album, she put it hastily into Jenkins's
+hand: for at that moment Lieutenant Sunderland, who had, as usual,
+breakfasted at the mess-table with his brother officers, came in to
+invite her to walk with him to Gee's Point. Orinda assented, and
+immediately put on her bonnet, saying to her lover as she left the
+house--
+
+"You know this is one of my favourite walks--I like that fine mass of
+bare granite running far out into the river, and the beautiful view from
+its extreme point. And then the road, by which we descend to it, is so
+charmingly picturesque, with its deep ravine on one side, filled with
+trees and flowering shrubs, and the dark and lofty cliff that towers up
+on the other, where the thick vine wanders in festoons, and the branches
+of the wild rose throw their long streamers down the rock, whose utmost
+heights are crowned with still-lingering remnants of the grass-grown
+ruins of Fort Clinton."
+
+But we question if, on this eventful morning, the beauties of Gee's
+Point were duly appreciated by our heroine, for long before they had
+reached it, her lover had made an explicit avowal of his feelings and
+his hopes, and had obtained from her the promise of her hand: which
+promise was faithfully fulfilled on that day two months.
+
+In the afternoon, Lieutenant Sunderland accompanied Miss Melbourne and
+her friends on their return to the city. Previous to her departure,
+Orinda did not forgot to remind Mr. Jenkins of her album, now doubly
+valuable to her as containing the name of La Fayette, written by his own
+hand.
+
+Jenkins begged a thousand pardons, alleging that the arrival of a friend
+from New York, had prevented him from writing in it, as he had intended.
+"And of course," said he, "I could not put off my friend, as he is one
+of the _elite_ of the city, to describe him in French. However, there is
+time enough yet. Short and sweet, you know"--
+
+"The boat is in sight," said Sunderland.
+
+"Oh! no matter," answered Jenkins. "I can do it in a minute, and I will
+send it down to the boat after you. Miss Melbourne shall have it before
+she quits the wharf. I would on no consideration be guilty of
+disappointing a lady."
+
+And taking with him the album, he went directly to his room.
+
+"You had best go down to the dock," said the cadet, young Melbourne, who
+had come to see his sister off. "There is no time to be lost. I will
+take care that the album reaches you in safety, should you be obliged to
+go without it."
+
+They proceeded towards the river, but they had scarcely got as far as
+Mrs. Thomson's, when a waiter came running after them with the book,
+saying--"Mr. Jenkins's compliments to Miss Melbourne, and all is right."
+
+"Really," said Sunderland, "that silly fellow must have a machine for
+making verses, to have turned out anything like poetry in so short a
+time."
+
+They were scarcely seated on the deck of the steamboat, when Orinda
+opened her album to look for the inspirations of Jenkins's Muse. She
+found no verses. But on the very page consecrated by the hand of La
+Fayette, and immediately under the autograph of the hero, was written,
+in an awkward school-boy character, the name of Jeremiah Jenkins.
+
+
+
+
+THE SET OF CHINA.
+
+     "How thrive the beauties of the graphic art?"--PETER PINDAR.
+
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said Mrs. Atmore, as she entered a certain
+drawing-school, at that time the most fashionable in Philadelphia, "I
+have brought you a new pupil, my daughter, Miss Marianne Atmore. Have
+you a vacancy?"
+
+"Why, I can't say that I have," replied Mr. Gummage; "I never have
+vacancies."
+
+"I am very sorry to hear it," said Mrs. Atmore; and Miss Marianne, a
+tall, handsome girl of fifteen, looked disappointed.
+
+"But perhaps I _could_ strain a point, and find a place for her,"
+resumed Mr. Gummage, who knew very well that he never had the smallest
+idea of limiting the number of his pupils, and that if twenty more were
+to apply, he would take them every one, however full his school might
+be.
+
+"Do, pray, Mr. Gummage," said Mrs. Atmore; "do try and make an exertion
+to admit my daughter; I shall regard it as a particular favour."
+
+"Well, I believe she may come," replied Gummage: "I suppose I can take
+her. Has she any turn for drawing?"
+
+"I don't know," answered Mrs. Atmore; "she has never tried."
+
+"So much the better," said Gummage; "I like girls that have never tried;
+they are much more manageable than those that have been scratching and
+daubing at home all their lives."
+
+Mr. Gummage was no gentleman, either in appearance or manner. But he
+passed for a genius among those who knew nothing of that ill-understood
+race. He had a hooked nose that turned to the right, and a crooked mouth
+that turned to the left--his face being very much out of drawing,--and
+he had two round eyes that in colour and expression resembled two
+hazel-nuts. His lips were "pea-green and blue," from the habit of
+putting the brushes into his mouth when they were overcharged with
+colour. He took snuff illimitably, and generally carried half a dozen
+handkerchiefs, some of which, however, were to wrap his dinner in, as he
+conveyed it from market in his capacious pockets; others, as he said,
+were "to wipe the girl's saucers."
+
+His usual costume was an old dusty brown coat, corduroy pantaloons, and
+a waistcoat that had once been red, boots that had once been black, and
+a low crowned rusty hat--which was never off his head, even in the
+presence of the ladies--and a bandanna cravat. The vulgarity of his
+habits, and the rudeness of his deportment, all passed off under the
+title of eccentricity. At the period when he flourished--it was long
+before the time of Sully--the _beau ideal_ of an artist, at least among
+the multitude, was an ugly, ill-mannered, dirty fellow, that painted an
+inch thick in divers gaudy colours, equally irreconcileable to nature
+and art. And the chief attractions of a drawing master--for Mr. Gummage
+was nothing more--lay in doing almost everything himself, and producing
+for his pupils, in their first quarter, pictures (so called) that were
+pronounced "fit to frame."
+
+"Well, madam," said Mr. Gummage, "what do you wish your daughter to
+learn? figures, flowers, or landscapes?"
+
+"Oh! all three," replied Mrs. Atmore. "We have been furnishing our new
+house, and I told Mr. Atmore that he need not get any pictures for the
+front parlour, as I would much prefer having them all painted by
+Marianne. She has been four quarters with Miss Julia,[72] and has worked
+Friendship and Innocence, which cost, altogether, upwards of a hundred
+dollars. Do you know the piece, Mr. Gummage? There is a tomb with a
+weeping willow, and two ladies with long hair, one dressed in pink, the
+other in blue, holding a wreath between them over the top of the urn.
+The ladies are Friendship. Then on the right hand of the piece is a
+cottage, and an oak, and a little girl dressed in yellow, sitting on a
+green bank, and putting a wreath round the neck of a lamb. Nothing can
+be more natural than the lamb's wool. It is done entirely in French
+knots. The child and the lamb are Innocence."
+
+[Footnote 72: Miss Julianna Bater, an old Moravian lady, from Bethlehem,
+Pennsylvania, who was well known in Philadelphia, many years since, as a
+teacher of embroidery.]
+
+"Ay, ay," said Gummage, "I know the piece well enough--I've drawn them
+by dozens."
+
+"Well," continued Mrs. Atmore, "this satin piece hangs over the front
+parlour mantel. It is much prettier and better done than the one Miss
+Longstitch worked, of Charlotte at the tomb of Werter, though she _did_
+sew silver spangles all over Charlotte's lilac gown, and used chenille,
+at a fi'-penny-bit a needleful, for all the banks and the large tree.
+Now, as the mantel-piece is provided for, I wish a landscape for each of
+the recesses, and a figure-piece to hang on each side of the large
+looking-glass, with flower-pieces under them, all by Marianne. Can she
+do all these in one quarter?"
+
+"No, that she can't," replied Gummage; "it will take her two quarters'
+hard work, and may be three, to get through the whole of them."
+
+"Well, I won't stand about a quarter more or less," said Mrs. Atmore;
+"but what I wish Marianne to do most particularly, and, indeed, the
+chief reason why I send her to drawing-school just now, is a pattern for
+a set of china that we are going to have made in Canton. I was told the
+other day by a New York lady (who was quite tired of the queer,
+unmeaning things which are generally put on India ware), that she had
+sent a pattern for a tea-set, drawn by her daughter, and that every
+article came out with the identical device beautifully done on the
+china, all in the proper colours. She said it was talked of all over New
+York, and that people who had never been at the house before, came to
+look at and admire it. No doubt it was a great feather in her daughter's
+cap."
+
+"Possibly, madam," said Gummage.
+
+"And now," resumed Mrs. Atmore, "since I heard this, I have thought of
+nothing else than having the same thing done in my family; only I shall
+send for a dinner set, and a very long one, too. Mr. Atmore tells me
+that the Voltaire, one of Stephen Girard's ships, sails for Canton early
+next month, and he is well acquainted with the captain, who will attend
+to the order for the china. I suppose in the course of a fortnight
+Marianne will have learnt drawing enough to enable her to do the
+pattern?"
+
+"Oh! yes, madam--quite enough," replied Gummage, suppressing a laugh.
+
+"Very well," said Mrs. Atmore. "And now, Mr. Gummage, let me look at
+some of your models."
+
+"Figures, flowers, or landscapes?" asked the artist.
+
+"Oh! some of each," replied the lady.
+
+Mr. Gummage had so many pupils--both boys and girls--and so many
+classes, and gave lessons besides, at so many boarding-schools, that he
+had no leisure time for receiving applications, and as he kept his
+domicile incog. he saw all his visitors at his school-room. Foreseeing a
+long examination of the prints, he took from a hanging shelf several of
+his numerous portfolios, and having placed them on a table before Mrs.
+Atmore and her daughter, he proceeded to go round and direct his present
+class of young ladies, who were all sitting at the drawing-desks in
+their bonnets and shawls, because the apartment afforded no
+accommodation for these habiliments if laid aside. Each young lady was
+leaning over a straining-frame, on which was pasted a sheet of
+drawing-paper, and each seemed engaged in attempting to copy one of the
+coloured engravings that were fastened by a slip of cleft cane to the
+cord of twine that ran along the wall. The benches were dusty, the floor
+dirty and slopped with spilt water; and the windows, for want of
+washing, looked more like horn than glass. The school-room and teacher
+were all in keeping. Yet for many years Mr. Gummage was so much in
+fashion that no other drawing-masters had the least chance of success.
+Those who recollect the original, will not think his portrait
+overcharged.
+
+We left Mr. Gummage going round his class for the purpose of giving a
+glance, and saying a few words to each.
+
+"Miss Jones, lay down the lid of your paint-box. No rulers shall be used
+in my school, as I have often told you."
+
+"But, Mr. Gummage, only look at the walls of my castle; they are all
+leaning to one side; both the turrets stand crooked, and the doors and
+windows slant every way."
+
+"No matter, it's my rule that nobody shall use a rule. Miss Miller, have
+you rubbed the blue and bistre I told you?"
+
+"Yes, sir; I've been at it all the afternoon; here it is."
+
+"Why, that's not half enough."
+
+"Mr. Gummage, I've rubbed, and rubbed, till my arm aches to the
+shoulder, and my face is all in a glow."
+
+"Then take off your bonnet, and cool yourself. I tell you there's not
+half enough. Why, my boys rub blue and bistre till their faces run of a
+stream. I make them take off their coats to it."
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said one young lady, "you promised to put in my sky
+to-day."
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said another, "I've been waiting for my distances these
+two weeks. How can I go any farther till you have done them for me?"
+
+"Finish the fore-ground to-day. It is time enough for the distances:
+I'll put them in on Friday."
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said another, "my river has been expecting you since last
+Wednesday."
+
+"Why, you have not put in the boat yet. Do the boat to-day, and the
+fisherman on the shore. But look at your bridge! Every arch is of a
+different size--some big, and some little."
+
+"Well, Mr. Gummage, it is your own fault--you should let me use
+compasses. I have a pair in my box--do, pray, let me use them."
+
+"No, I won't. My plan is that you shall all draw entirely by the eye."
+
+"That is the reason we make everything so crooked."
+
+"I see nothing more crooked than yourselves," replied the polite
+drawing-master.
+
+"Mr. Gummage," said another young lady, raising her eyes from a novel
+that she had brought with her, "I have done nothing at my piece for at
+least a fortnight. I have been all the time waiting for you to put in my
+large tree."
+
+"Hush this moment with your babbling, every soul of you," said the
+teacher, in an under tone: "don't you see there are strangers here? What
+an unreasonable pack of fools you are! Can I do everybody's piece at
+once? Learn to have patience, one and all of you, and wait till your
+turn comes."
+
+Some of the girls tossed their heads and pouted, and some laughed, and
+some quitted their desks and amused themselves by looking out at the
+windows. But the instructor turned his back on them, and walked off
+towards the table at which Mrs. Atmore and her daughter were seated with
+the portfolios, both making incessant exclamations of "How
+beautiful!--how elegant!--how sweet!"
+
+"Oh! here are Romeo and Juliet in the tomb scene!" cried Marianne.
+"Look, mamma, is it not lovely?--the very play in which we saw Cooper
+and Mrs. Merry. Oh! do let me paint Romeo and Juliet for the dinner set!
+But stop--here's the Shepherdess of the Alps! how magnificent! I think I
+would rather do that for the china. And here's Mary Queen of Scots; I
+remember her ever since I read history. And here are Telemachus and
+Minerva, just as I translated about them in my Telemaque exercises. Oh!
+let me do them for the dinner set--sha'n't I. Mr. Gummage?"
+
+"I don't see any figure-pieces in which the colours are bright enough,"
+remarked Mrs. Atmore.
+
+"As to that," observed Gummage--who knew that the burthen of the drawing
+would eventually fall on him, and who never liked to do figures--"I
+don't believe that any of these figure pieces would look well if reduced
+so small as to go on china plates."
+
+"Well,--here are some very fine landscapes," pursued Mrs. Atmore;
+"Here's the Cascade of Tivoli--and here's a view in Jamaica--and here's
+Glastonbury Abbey."
+
+"Oh! I dote on abbeys," cried Marianne, "for the sake of Amanda
+Fitzalan."
+
+"Your papa will not approve of your doing this," observed Mrs. Atmore:
+"you know, he says that abbeys are nothing but old tumble-down
+churches."
+
+"If I may not do an abbey, let me do a castle," said Marianne; "there's
+Conway Castle by moonlight--how natural the moon looks!"
+
+"As to castles," replied Mrs. Atmore, "you know your papa says they are
+no better than old jails. He hates both abbeys and castles."
+
+"Well, here is a noble country seat," said Marianne--"'Chiswick House.'"
+
+"Your papa has no patience with country seats," rejoined Mrs. Atmore.
+"He says that when people have made their money, they had better stay in
+town to enjoy it; where they can be convenient to the market, and the
+stores, and the post-office, and the coffee-house. He likes a good
+comfortable three story brick mansion, in a central part of the city,
+with marble steps, iron railings, and green venetian shutters."
+
+"To cut the matter short," said Mr. Gummage, "the best thing for the
+china is a flower piece--a basket, or a wreath--or something of that
+sort. You can have a good cipher in the centre, and the colours may be
+as bright as you please. India ware is generally painted with one colour
+only; but the Chinese are submissive animals, and will do just as they
+are bid. It may cost something more to have a variety of colours; but I
+suppose you will not mind that."
+
+"Oh! no--no," exclaimed Mrs. Atmore, "I shall not care for the price; I
+have set my mind on having this china the wonder of all Philadelphia."
+
+Our readers will understand, that at this period nearly all the
+porcelain used in America was of Chinese manufacture; very little of
+that elegant article having been, as yet, imported from France.
+
+A wreath was selected from the portfolio that contained the engravings
+and drawings of flowers. It was decided that Marianne should first
+execute it the full size of the model (which was as large as nature),
+that she might immediately have a piece to frame; and that she was
+afterwards to make a smaller copy of it, as a border for all the
+articles of the china set; the middle to be ornamented with the letter
+A, in gold, surrounded by the rays of a golden star. Sprigs and tendrils
+of the flowers were to branch down from the border, so as nearly to
+reach the gilding in the middle. The large wreath that was intended to
+frame, was to bear in its centre the initials of Marianne Atmore, being
+the letters M. A., painted in shell gold.
+
+"And so," said Mr. Gummage, "having a piece to frame, and a pattern for
+your china, you'll kill two birds with one stone."
+
+On the following Monday, the young lady came to take her first lesson,
+followed by a mulatto boy, carrying a little black morocco trunk, that
+contained a four row box of Reeves' colours, with an assortment of
+camel's hair pencils, half a dozen white saucers, a water cup, a lead
+pencil, and a piece of India rubber. Mr. Gummage immediately supplied
+her with two bristle brushes, and sundry little shallow earthern cups,
+each containing a modicum of some sort of body colour, masticot, flake
+white, &c., prepared by himself, and charged at a quarter-dollar apiece,
+and which he told her she would want when she came to do landscapes and
+figures.
+
+Mr. Gummage's style was, to put in the sky, water, and distances with
+opaque paints, and the most prominent objects with transparent colours.
+This was probably the reason that his foregrounds seemed always to be
+sunk in his backgrounds. The model was scarcely considered as a guide,
+for he continually told his pupils that they must try to excel it; and
+he helped them to do so by making all his skies deep red fire at the
+bottom, and dark blue smoke at the top; and exactly reversing the
+colours on the water, by putting red at the top, and blue at the bottom.
+The distant mountains were lilac and white, and the near rocks buff
+colour shaded with purple. The castles and abbeys were usually gamboge.
+The trees were dabbed and dotted in with a large bristle brush, so that
+the foliage looked like a green fog. The foam of the cascades resembled
+a concourse of wigs, scuffling together and knocking the powder out of
+each other, the spray being always fizzed on with one of the aforesaid
+bristle brushes. All the dark shadows in every part of the picture were
+done with a mixture of Prussian blue and bistre, and of these two
+colours there was consequently a vast consumption in Mr. Gummage's
+school. At the period of our story, many of the best houses in
+Philadelphia were decorated with these landscapes. But for the honour of
+my townspeople, I must say that the taste for such productions is now
+entirely obsolete. We may look forward to the time, which we trust is
+not far distant, when the elements of drawing will be taught in every
+school, and considered as indispensable to education as a knowledge of
+writing. It has long been our belief that _any_ child may, with proper
+instruction, be made to draw, as easily as any child may be made to
+write. We are rejoiced to find that so distinguished an artist as
+Rembrandt Peale has avowed the same opinion, in giving to the world his
+invaluable little work on Graphics: in which he has clearly demonstrated
+the affinity between drawing and writing, and admirably exemplified the
+leading principles of both.
+
+Marianne's first attempt at the great wreath was awkward enough. After
+she had spent five or six afternoons at the outline, and made it
+triangular rather than circular, and found it impossible to get in the
+sweet pea, and the convolvulus, and lost and bewildered herself among
+the multitude of leaves that formed the cup of the rose, Mr. Gummage
+snatched the pencil from her hand, rubbed out the whole, and then drew
+it himself. It must be confessed that his forte lay in flowers, and he
+was extremely clever at them; "but," as he expressed it, "his scholars
+chiefly ran upon landscapes."
+
+After he had sketched the wreath, he directed Marianne to rub the
+colours for her flowers, while he put in Miss Smithson's rocks.
+
+When Marianne had covered all her saucers with colours, and wasted ten
+times as much as was necessary, she was eager to commence painting, as
+she called it; and in trying to wash the rose with lake, she daubed it
+on of crimson thickness. When Mr. Gummage saw it, he gave her a severe
+reprimand for meddling with her own piece. It was with great difficulty
+that the superabundant colour was removed; and he charged her to let the
+flowers alone till he was ready to wash them for her. He worked a little
+at the piece every day, forbidding Marianne to touch it: and she
+remained idle while he was putting in skies, mountains, &c., for the
+other young ladies.
+
+At length the wreath was finished--Mr. Gummage having only sketched it,
+and washed it, and given it the last touches. It was put into a splendid
+frame, and shown as Miss Marianne Atmore's first attempt at painting;
+and everybody exclaimed, "What an excellent teacher Mr. Gummage must be!
+How fast he brings on his pupils!"
+
+In the mean time, she undertook at home to make the small copy that was
+to go to China. But she was now "at a dead lock," and found it utterly
+impossible to advance a step without Mr. Gummage. It was then thought
+best that she should do it at school--meaning that Mr. Gummage should do
+it for her, while she looked out of the window.
+
+The whole was at last satisfactorily accomplished, even to the gilt star
+with the A in the centre. It was taken home and compared with the larger
+wreath, and found still prettier, and shown as Marianne's, to the envy
+of all mothers whose daughters could not furnish models for china. It
+was finally given in charge to the captain of the Voltaire, with
+injunctions to order a dinner-set exactly according to the pattern--and
+to prevent the possibility of a mistake, a written direction accompanied
+it.
+
+The ship sailed--and Marianne continued three quarters at Mr. Gummage's
+school, where she nominally effected another flower piece, and also
+perpetrated Kemble in Rolla, Edwin and Angelina, the Falls of the Rhine,
+and the Falls of Niagara; all of which were duly framed, and hung in
+their appointed places.
+
+During the year that followed the departure of the ship Voltaire, great
+impatience for her return was manifested by the ladies of the Atmore
+family--anxious to see how the china would look, and frequently hoping
+that the colours would be bright enough, and none of the flowers
+omitted--that the gilding would be rich, and everything inserted in its
+proper place, exactly according to the pattern. Mrs. Atmore's only
+regret was, that she had not sent for a tea-set also; not that she was
+in want of one, but then it would be so much better to have a dinner-set
+and a tea-set precisely alike, and Marianne's beautiful wreath on all.
+
+"Why, my dear," said Mr. Atmore, "how often have I heard you say that
+you would never have another _tea_-set from Canton, because the Chinese
+persist in making the principal articles of such old-fashioned, awkward
+shapes. For my part, I always disliked the tall coffee pots, with their
+straight spouts, looking like light-houses with bowsprits to them; and
+the short, clumsy tea-pots, with their twisted handles, and lids that
+always fall off."
+
+"To be sure," said Mrs. Atmore, "I have been looking forward to the
+time, when we can get a French tea-set upon tolerable terms. But in the
+mean while, I should be very glad to have cups and saucers with
+Marianne's beautiful wreath, and of course, when we use this china on
+the table we shall always bring forward our silver pots."
+
+Spring returned, and there was much watching of the vanes, and great joy
+when they pointed easterly, and the ship-news now became the most
+interesting column of the papers. A vessel that had sailed from New York
+for Canton, on the same day the Voltaire departed for Philadelphia, had
+already got in; therefore the Voltaire might be hourly expected. At
+length she was reported below; and at this period the river Delaware
+suffered much, in comparison with the river Hudson, owing to the
+tediousness of its navigation from the capes to the city.
+
+At last the Voltaire cast anchor at the foot of Market street, and our
+ladies could scarcely refrain from walking down to the wharf to see the
+ship that held the box, that held the china. But invitations were
+immediately sent out for a long projected dinner-party, which Mrs.
+Atmore had persuaded her husband to defer till they could exhibit the
+beautiful new porcelain.
+
+The box was landed, and conveyed to the house. The whole family were
+present at the opening, which was performed in the dining-room by Mr.
+Atmore himself,--all the servants peeping in at the door. As soon as a
+part of the lid was split off, and a handful of straw removed, a pile of
+plates appeared, all separately wrapped in India paper. Each of the
+family snatched up a plate and hastily tore off the covering. There were
+the flowers glowing in beautiful colours, and the gold star and the gold
+A, admirably executed. But under the gold star, on every plate, dish,
+and tureen, were the words, "THIS IN THE MIDDLE!"--being the direction
+which the literal and exact Chinese had minutely copied from a crooked
+line that Mr. Atmore had hastily scrawled on the pattern with a very bad
+pen, and of course without the slightest thought of its being inserted
+_verbatim_ beneath the central ornament.
+
+Mr. Atmore laughed--Mrs. Atmore cried--the servants giggled aloud--and
+Marianne cried first, and laughed afterwards.
+
+The only good that resulted was, that it gave occasion to Mr. Atmore to
+relate the story to his guests whenever he had a dinner-party.
+
+
+
+
+LAURA LOVEL.
+
+     "The world is still deceived with ornament."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Laura Lovel was the eldest surviving daughter of a clergyman settled in
+a retired and beautiful village at the western extremity of the state of
+Massachusetts. Between Laura and her two youngest sisters, three other
+children had died. Being so much their senior, it was in her power to
+assist her father materially in the instruction of Ella and Rosa; as
+after his family had become small, Mr. Lovel thought it best that the
+two little girls should receive all their education at home, and never
+were children that conferred more credit on their teachers. Mrs. Lovel
+was a plain, good woman, of excellent practical sense, a notable
+seamstress, and a first-rate housewife. Few families were more perfectly
+happy, notwithstanding that the limited income of Mr. Lovel (though
+sufficient for comfort) left them little or nothing for superfluities.
+
+They had a very neat house standing in the centre of a flourishing
+garden, in which utility had been the first consideration, though
+blended as far as possible with beauty. The stone fence looked like a
+hedge of nasturtians. The pillars supporting the rustic piazza that
+surrounded the house, were the rough trunks of small trees, with a
+sufficient portion of the chief branches remaining, to afford
+resting-places for the luxuriant masses of scarlet beans that ran over
+them; furnishing, when the blossoms were off, and the green pods full
+grown, an excellent vegetable-dish for the table. The house was shaded
+with fruit-trees exclusively; and the garden shrubs were all raspberry,
+currant, and gooseberry, and the flowers were chiefly those that had
+medicinal properties, or could be turned to culinary purposes--with the
+exception of some that were cultivated purposely for the bees. A meadow
+which pastured two cows and a horse, completed the little domain.
+
+About the time that Laura Lovel had finished her seventeenth year, there
+came to the village of Rosebrook an old friend of her father's, whom he
+had long since lost sight of. They had received their early education at
+the same school, they had met again at college, and had some years after
+performed together a voyage to India; Mr. Brantley as supercargo, Mr.
+Lovel as a missionary. Mr. Brantley had been very successful in
+business, and was now a merchant of wealth and respectability, with a
+handsome establishment in Boston. Mr. Lovel had settled down as pastor
+of the principal church in his native village.
+
+The object of Mr. Brantley's present visit to Rosebrook, was to inquire
+personally into the state of some property he still retained there. Mr.
+Lovel would not allow his old friend to remain at the tavern, but
+insisted that _his_ house should be his abiding place; and they had much
+pleasure in comparing their reminiscences of former times. As their
+chief conversation was on topics common to both, Mr. Lovel did not
+perceive that, except upon mercantile subjects, Mr. Brantley had
+acquired few new ideas since they had last met, and that his reading was
+confined exclusively to the newspapers. But he saw that in quiet
+good-nature, and easiness of disposition, his old friend was still the
+same as in early life.
+
+Mr. Brantley was so pleased with every member of the Lovel family, and
+liked his visit so much, that he was induced to prolong it two days
+beyond his first intention; and he expressed an earnest desire to take
+Laura home with him, to pass a few weeks with his wife and daughter.
+This proposal, however, was declined, with sincere acknowledgments for
+its kindness; Mr. Lovel's delicacy making him unwilling to send his
+daughter, as a guest, to a lady who as yet was ignorant of her
+existence, and Laura sharing in her father's scruples.
+
+Mr. Brantley took his leave: and three months afterwards he paid a
+second visit to Rosebrook, for the purpose of selling his property in
+that neighbourhood. He brought with him a short but very polite letter
+from his wife to Mr. and Mrs. Lovel, renewing the invitation for Laura,
+and pressing it in a manner that could scarcely be withstood. Mr. Lovel
+began to waver; Mrs. Lovel thought it was time that Laura should see a
+little of the world, and Laura's speaking looks told how much pleasure
+she anticipated from the excursion. The two little girls, though their
+eyes filled at the idea of being separated from their beloved sister,
+most magnanimously joined in entreating permission for her to go, as
+they saw that she wished it. Finally, Mr. Lovel consented; and Laura
+seemed to tread on air while making her preparations for the journey.
+
+That evening, at the hour of family worship, her father laid his hand on
+Laura's head, and uttered a fervent prayer for the preservation of her
+health and happiness during her absence from the paternal roof. Mrs.
+Lovel and all her daughters were deeply affected, and Mr. Brantley
+looked very much inclined to participate in their emotion.
+
+Early next morning Mr. Brantley's chaise was at the door, and Laura took
+leave of the family with almost as many tears and kisses as if she had
+been going to cross the Atlantic. Little Ella, who was about eight years
+old, presented her, at parting, with a very ingenious needle-book of her
+own making, and Rosa, who was just seven, gave her as a keepsake an
+equally clever pincushion. She promised to bring them new books, and
+other little presents from Boston, a place in which they supposed
+everything that the world produced, could be obtained without
+difficulty.
+
+Finally, the last farewell was uttered, the last kiss was given, and
+Laura Lovel took her seat in the chaise beside Mr. Brantley, who drove
+off at a rapid pace; and in a few moments a turn in the road hid from
+her view the house of her father, and the affectionate group that still
+lingered at its gate, to catch the latest glimpse of the vehicle that
+was bearing away from them the daughter and the sister.
+
+As they proceeded on their journey, Laura's spirits gradually revived,
+and she soon became interested or delighted with everything she beheld;
+for she had a quick perception, with a mind of much intelligence and
+depth of observation.
+
+The second day of their journey had nearly closed, before the spires of
+the Boston churches, and the majestic dome of the State House, met the
+intense gaze of our heroine. Thousands of lights soon twinkled over the
+city of the three hills, and the long vistas of lamps that illuminated
+the bridges, seemed to the unpractised eyes of Laura Lovel to realize
+the glories of the Arabian Nights. "Oh!" she involuntarily exclaimed,
+"if my dear little sisters could only be with me now!"
+
+As they entered by the western avenue, and as Mr. Brantley's residence
+was situated in the eastern part of the city, Laura had an opportunity
+of seeing as she passed a vast number of lofty, spacious, and
+noble-looking dwelling-houses, in the erection of which the patrician
+families of Boston have perhaps surpassed all the other aristocracies of
+the Union; for, sternly republican as are our laws and institutions, it
+cannot be denied that in private life every section of our commonwealth
+has its aristocracy.
+
+At length they stopped at Mr. Brantley's door, and Laura had a very
+polite reception from the lady of the mansion, an indolent,
+good-natured, insipid woman, the chief business of whose life was dress
+and company. Mr. Brantley had purchased a large and handsome house in
+the western part of the town, to which the family were to remove in the
+course of the autumn, and it was Mrs. Brantley's intention, when they
+were settled in their new and elegant establishment, to get into a
+higher circle, and to have weekly _soirees_. To make her parties the
+more attractive, she was desirous of engaging some very pretty young
+lady (a stranger with a new face) to pass the winter with her. She had
+but one child, a pert, forward girl, about fourteen, thin, pale, and
+seeming "as if she suffered a great deal in order to look pretty." She
+sat, stood, and moved, as if in constant pain from the tightness of her
+corsets, the smallness of her sleeve-holes, and the narrowness of her
+shoes. Her hair, having been kept long during the whole period of her
+childhood, was exhausted with incessant tying, brushing, and curling,
+and she was already obliged to make artificial additions to it. It was
+at this time a mountain of bows, plaits, and puffs; and her costume was
+in every respect that of a woman of twenty. She was extremely anxious to
+"come out," as it is called, but her father insisted on her staying in,
+till she had finished her education; and her mother had been told that
+it was very impolitic to allow young ladies to "appear in society" at
+too early an age, as they were always supposed to be older than they
+really were, and therefore would be the sooner considered _passe_.
+
+After tea, Mrs. Brantley reclined herself idly in one of the
+rocking-chairs, Mr. Brantley retired to the back parlour to read
+undisturbed the evening papers, and Augusta took up some bead-work,
+while Laura looked over the Souvenirs with which the centre-table was
+strewed.
+
+"How happy you must be, Miss Brantley," said Laura, "to have it in your
+power to read so many new books!"
+
+"As to reading," replied Augusta, "I never have any time to spare for
+that purpose; what with my music, and my dancing, and my lessons in
+French conversation, and my worsted-work, and my bead-work; then I have
+every day to go out shopping, for I always _will_ choose everything for
+myself. Mamma has not the least idea of my taste; at least, she never
+remembers it. And then there is always some business with the
+mantua-makers and milliners. And I have so many morning visits to pay
+with mamma--and in the afternoon I am generally so tired that I can do
+nothing but put on a wrapper, and throw myself on the bed, and sleep
+till it is time to dress for evening."
+
+"Oh!" thought Laura Lovel, "how differently do we pass our time at
+Rosebrook!--Is not this a beautiful engraving?" she continued, holding
+one of the open Souvenirs towards Augusta.
+
+"Yes--pretty enough," replied Augusta, scarcely turning her head to look
+at it.--"Mamma, do not you think I had better have my green pelerine cut
+in points rather than in scollops?"
+
+"I think," replied Mrs. Brantley, "that scollops are the prettiest."
+
+"Really, mamma," said Augusta, petulantly, "it is very peculiar in you
+to say so, when you ought to know that scollops have had their day, and
+that points have come round again."
+
+"Very well, then, my love," replied Mrs. Brantley, indolently, "consult
+your own taste."
+
+"That I always do," said Augusta, half aside to Laura, who, addressing
+herself to Mrs. Brantley, made some inquiry about the last new novel.
+
+"I cannot say that I have read it," answered Mrs. Brantley; "at least, I
+don't know that I have. Augusta, my love, do you recollect if you have
+heard me say anything about the last new book--the--a--the--what is it
+you call it, Miss Lovel?"
+
+"La! mamma," said Augusta, "I should as soon expect you to write a book
+as to read one."
+
+There was a pause for a minute or two. Augusta then leaning back towards
+her mother, exclaimed, "Upon second thoughts, I think I will have the
+green pelerine scolloped, and the blue one pointed. But the points
+shall be squared at the ends--on that I am determined."
+
+Laura now took up a volume of the juvenile annual, entitled the Pearl,
+and said to Augusta, "You have most probably a complete set of the
+Pearl."
+
+"After all, mamma," pursued Augusta, "butterfly bows are much prettier
+than shell-bows. What were you saying just now, Miss Lovel, about my
+having a set of pearls?--you may well ask;"--looking spitefully towards
+the back-parlour, in which her father was sitting. "Papa holds out that
+he will not give me a set till I am eighteen; and as to gold chains, and
+corals, and cornelians, I am sick of them, and I won't wear them at all;
+so you see me without any ornaments whatever, which you must think very
+peculiar."
+
+Laura had tact enough to perceive that any further attempt at a
+conversation on books would be unavailing; and she made some inquiry
+about the annual exhibition of pictures at the Athenaeum.
+
+"I believe it is a very good one," replied Mrs. Brantley. "We stopped
+there one day on our way to dine with some friends out of town. But as
+the carriage was waiting, and the horses were impatient, we only stayed
+a few minutes, just long enough to walk round."
+
+"Oh! yes, mamma," cried Augusta; "and don't you recollect we saw Miss
+Darford there in a new dress of lavender-coloured grenadine, though
+grenadines have been over these hundred years. And there was pretty Mrs.
+Lenham, as the gentlemen call her, in a puce-coloured italianet, though
+italianets have been out for ages. And don't you remember Miss Grover's
+canary-coloured reps bonnet, that looked as if it had been made in the
+ark. The idea of any one wearing reps! a thing that has not been seen
+since the flood! Only think of reps!"
+
+Laura Lovel wondered what _reps_ could possibly be. "Now I talk of
+bonnets," pursued Augusta; "pray, mamma, did you tell Miss Pipingcord
+that I would have my Tuscan Leghorn trimmed with the lilac and green
+riband, instead of the blue and yellow?"
+
+"Indeed," replied Mrs. Brantley, "I found your cousin Mary so extremely
+ill this afternoon when I went to see her, and my sister so very uneasy
+on her account, that I absolutely forgot to call at the milliner's, as I
+had promised you."
+
+"Was there ever anything so vexatious!" exclaimed Augusta, throwing
+down her bead-work. "Really, mamma, there is no trusting you at all. You
+never remember to do anything you are desired." And flying to the bell,
+she rang it with violence.
+
+"I could think of nothing but poor Mary's danger," said Mrs. Brantley,
+"and the twenty-five leeches that I saw on her forehead."
+
+"Dreadful!" ejaculated Augusta. "But you might have supposed that the
+leeches would do her good, as, of course, they will. Here, William,"
+addressing the servant-man that had just entered, "run as if you were
+running for your life to Miss Pipingcord, the milliner, and tell her
+upon no account whatever to trim Miss Brantley's Tuscan Leghorn with the
+blue and yellow riband that was decided on yesterday. Tell her I have
+changed my mind, and resolved upon the lilac and green. Fly as if you
+had not another moment to live, or Miss Pipingcord will have already
+trimmed the bonnet with the blue and yellow."
+
+"And then," said Mrs. Brantley, "go to Mrs. Ashmore's, and inquire how
+Miss Mary is this evening."
+
+"Why, mamma," exclaimed Augusta, "aunt Ashmore lives so far from Miss
+Pipingcord's, that it will be ten or eleven o'clock before William gets
+back, and I shall be all that time on thorns to know if she has not
+already disfigured my bonnet with the vile blue and yellow."
+
+"Yesterday," said Mrs. Brantley, "you admired that very riband
+extremely."
+
+"So I did," replied Augusta, "but I have been thinking about it since,
+and, as I tell you, I have changed my mind. And now that I have set my
+heart upon the lilac and green, I absolutely detest the blue and
+yellow."
+
+"But I am really very anxious to know how Mary is to-night," said Mrs.
+Brantley.
+
+"Oh!" replied Augusta, "I dare say the leeches have relieved her. And if
+they have not, no doubt Dr. Warren will order twenty-five more--or
+something else that will answer the purpose. She is in very good
+hands--I am certain that in the morning we shall hear she is
+considerably better. At all events, I _will not_ wear the hateful blue
+and yellow riband.--William, what are you standing for?"
+
+The man turned to leave the room, but Mrs. Brantley called him back.
+"William," said she, "tell one of the women to go to Mrs. Ashmore's and
+inquire how Miss Mary is."
+
+"Eliza and Matilda are both out," said William, "and Louisa is crying
+with the toothache, and steaming her face over hot yerbs. I guess she
+won't be willing to walk so far in the night-air, just out of the
+steam."
+
+"William," exclaimed Augusta, stamping with her foot, "don't stand here
+talking, but go at once; there's not a moment to lose. Tell Miss
+Pipingcord if she _has_ put on that horrid riband, she must take it off
+again, and charge it in the bill, if she pretends she can't afford to
+lose it, as I dare say she will; and tell her to be sure and send the
+bonnet home early in the morning--I am dying to see it."
+
+To all this, Laura Lovel had sat listening in amazement, and could
+scarcely conceive the possibility of the mind of so young a girl being
+totally absorbed in things that concerned nothing but external
+appearance. She had yet to learn that a passion for dress, when
+thoroughly excited in the female bosom, and carried to excess, has a
+direct tendency to cloud the understanding, injure the temper, and
+harden the heart.
+
+Till the return of William, Augusta seemed indeed to be on thorns. At
+last he came, and brought with him the bonnet, trimmed with the blue and
+yellow. Augusta snatched it out of the bandbox, and stood speechless
+with passion, and William thus delivered his message from the
+milliner:--
+
+"Miss Pippincod sends word that she had riband'd the bonnet afore I come
+for it--she says she has used up all her laylock green for another
+lady's bonnet, as chose it this very afternoon; and she guesses you
+won't stand no chance of finding no more of it, if you sarch Boston
+through; and she says she shew you all her ribands yesterday, and you
+chose the yellow blue yourself, and she han't got no more ribands as
+you'd be likely to like. Them's her very words."
+
+"How I hate milliners!" exclaimed Augusta; and ringing for the maid that
+always assisted her in undressing, she flounced out of the room and went
+to bed.
+
+"Miss Lovel," said Mrs. Brantley, smiling, "you must excuse dear
+Augusta. She is extremely sensitive about everything, and that is the
+reason she is apt to give way to these little fits of irritation."
+
+Laura retired to her room, grieving to think how unamiable a young girl
+might be made, by the indulgence of an inordinate passion for dress.
+
+Augusta's cousin Mary did not die.
+
+The following day was to have been devoted to shopping, and to making
+some additions to the simple wardrobe of Laura Lovel, for which purpose
+her father had given her as much money as he could possibly spare. But
+it rained till late in the afternoon, and Mrs. Brantley's coach was out
+of order, and the Brantleys (like many other families that kept
+carriages of their own) could not conceive the possibility of _hiring_ a
+similar vehicle upon any exigency whatever.
+
+It is true that the present case was in reality no exigency at all; but
+Mrs. Brantley and her daughter seemed to consider it as such, from the
+one watching the clouds all day as she sat at the window, in her
+rocking-chair, and the other wandering about like a troubled spirit,
+fretting all the time, and complaining of the weather. Laura got through
+the hours very well, between reading Souvenirs (almost the only books in
+the house) and writing a long letter to inform her family of her safe
+arrival, and to describe her journey. Towards evening, a coach was heard
+to stop at the door, and there was a violent ringing, followed by a loud
+sharp voice in the entry, inquiring for Mrs. Brantley, who started from
+her rocking-chair, as Augusta exclaimed, "Miss Frampton!--I know 'tis
+Miss Frampton!" The young lady rushed into the hall, while her mother
+advanced a few steps, and Mr. Brantley threw down his paper, and
+hastened into the front-parlour with a look that expressed anything but
+satisfaction.
+
+There was no time for comment or preparation. The sound was heard of
+baggage depositing, and in a few moments Augusta returned to the
+parlour, hanging lovingly on the arm of a lady in a very handsome
+travelling dress, who flew to Mrs. Brantley and kissed her familiarly,
+and then shook hands with her husband, and was introduced by him to our
+heroine.
+
+Miss Frampton was a fashionable-looking woman, of no particular age. Her
+figure was good, but her features were the contrary, and the expression
+of her eye was strikingly bad. She had no relations, but she talked
+incessantly of her _friends_--for so she called every person whom she
+knew by sight, provided always that they were _presentable_ people. She
+had some property, on the income of which she lived, exercising close
+economy in everything but dress. Sometimes she boarded out, and
+sometimes she billeted herself on one or other of these said friends,
+having no scruples of delicacy to deter her from eagerly availing
+herself of the slightest hint that might be construed into the semblance
+of an invitation. In short, she was assiduous in trying to get
+acquainted with everybody from whom anything was to be gained,
+flattering them to their faces, though she abused them behind their
+backs. Still, strange to tell, she had succeeded in forcing her way into
+the outworks of what is called society. She dressed well, professed to
+know everybody, and to go everywhere, was _au fait_ of all the gossip of
+the day, and could always furnish ample food for the too prevailing
+appetite for scandal. Therefore, though every one disliked Miss
+Frampton, still every one tolerated her; and though a notorious
+calumniator, she excited so much fear, that it was generally thought
+safer to keep up some slight intercourse with her, than to affront her
+by throwing her off entirely.
+
+Philadelphia was her usual place of residence; but she had met the
+Brantley family at the Saratoga Springs, had managed to accompany them
+to New York on their way home, had boarded at Bunker's during the week
+they stayed at that house, had assisted them in their shopping
+expeditions, and professed a violent regard for Augusta, who professed
+the same for her. Mrs. Brantley's slight intimation "that she should be
+glad to see her if ever she came to Boston," Miss Frampton had now taken
+advantage of, on pretext of benefiting by change of air. Conscious of
+her faded looks, but still hoping to pass for a young woman, she
+pretended always to be in precarious health, though of this there was
+seldom any proof positive.
+
+On being introduced to Laura Lovel, as to a young lady on a visit to the
+family, Miss Frampton, who at once considered her an interloper,
+surveyed our heroine from head to foot, with something like a sneer, and
+exchanged significant glances with Augusta.
+
+As soon as Miss Frampton had taken her seat, "My dear Mrs. Brantley,"
+said she, "how delighted I am to see you! And my sweet Augusta, too! Why
+she has grown a perfect sylph!"
+
+After hearing this, Augusta could not keep her seat five minutes
+together, but was gliding and flitting about all the remainder of the
+evening, and hovering round Miss Frampton's chair.
+
+Miss Frampton continued, "Yes, my dear Mrs. Brantley, my health has, as
+usual, been extremely delicate. My friends have been seriously alarmed
+for me, and all my physicians have been quite miserable on my account.
+Dr. Dengue has been seen driving through the streets like a madman, in
+his haste to get to me. Poor man!--you must have heard the report of
+his suffering Mrs. Smith's baby to die with the croup, from neglecting
+to visit it, which, if true, was certainly in very bad taste. However,
+Dr. Dengue is one of my oldest friends, and a most charming man."
+
+"But, as I was saying, my health still continued delicate,
+and excitement was unanimously recommended by the medical
+gentlemen--excitement and ice-cream. And as soon as this was known in
+society, it is incredible how many parties were made for me, and how
+many excursions were planned on my account. I had carriages at my door
+day and night. My friends were absolutely dragging me from each other's
+arms. Finally they all suggested entire change of air, and total change
+of scene. So I consented to tear myself awhile from my beloved
+Philadelphia, and pay you my promised visit in Boston."
+
+"We are much obliged to you," said Mrs. Brantley. "And really," pursued
+Miss Frampton, "I had so many engagements on my hands, that I had fixed
+five different days for starting, and disappointed five different
+escorts. My receiving-room was like a levee every morning at visiting
+hours, with young gentlemen of fashion, coming to press their services,
+as is always the case when it is reported in Philadelphia that Miss
+Frampton has a disposition to travel. A whole procession of my friends
+accompanied me to the steamboat, and I believe I had more than a dozen
+elegant smelling-bottles presented to me--as it is universally known how
+much I always suffer during a journey, being deadly sick on the water,
+and in a constant state of nervous agitation while riding."
+
+"And who did you come with at last?" asked Mrs. Brantley.
+
+"Oh! with my friends the Twamberleys, of your city," replied Miss
+Frampton. "The whole family had been at Washington, and as soon as I
+heard they were in Philadelphia on their return home, I sent to
+inquire--that is, or rather, I mean, _they_ sent to inquire as soon as
+they came to town, and heard that I intended visiting Boston--they sent
+to inquire if I would make them happy by joining their party."
+
+"Well," observed Mr. Brantley, "I cannot imagine how you got along with
+all the Twamberleys. Mr. Twamberley, besides being a clumsy, fat man,
+upwards of seventy years old, and lame with the gout, and nearly quite
+deaf, and having cataracts coming on both eyes, is always obliged to
+travel with his silly young wife, and the eight children of her first
+husband, and I should think he had enough to do in taking care of
+himself and them. I wonder you did not prefer availing yourself of the
+politeness of some of the single gentlemen you mentioned."
+
+"Oh!" replied Miss Frampton, "any of them would have been too happy, as
+they politely expressed it, to have had the pleasure of waiting on me to
+Boston. Indeed, I knew not how to make a selection, being unwilling to
+offend any of them by a preference. And then again, it is always in
+better taste for young ladies to travel, and, indeed, to go everywhere,
+under the wing of a married woman. I dote upon chaperones; and by coming
+with this family, I had Mrs. Twamberley to matronize me. I have just
+parted with them all at their own door, where they were set down."
+
+Mr. Brantley smiled when he thought of Mrs. Twamberley (who had been
+married to her first husband at fifteen, and was still a blooming
+girlish looking woman) matronizing the faded Miss Frampton, so evidently
+by many years her senior.
+
+Laura Lovel, though new to the world, had sufficient good sense and
+penetration to perceive almost immediately, that Miss Frampton was a
+woman of much vanity and pretension, and that she was in the habit of
+talking with great exaggeration; and in a short time she more than
+suspected that many of her assertions were arrant falsehoods--a fact
+that was well known to all those numerous persons that Miss Frampton
+called her _friends_.
+
+Tea was now brought in, and Miss Frampton took occasion to relate in
+what manner she had discovered that the famous silver urn of that
+charming family, the Sam Kettlethorps, was, in reality, only
+plated--that her particular favourites, the Joe Sowerbys, showed such
+bad taste at their great terrapin supper, as to have green hock-glasses
+for the champagne; and that those delightful people, the Bob Skutterbys,
+the first time they attempted the new style of heaters at a venison
+dinner, had them filled with spirits of turpentine, instead of spirits
+of wine.
+
+Next morning, Miss Frampton did not appear at the breakfast-table, but
+had her first meal carried into her room, and Augusta breakfasted with
+her. Between them Laura Lovel was discussed at full length, and their
+conclusion was, that she had not a single good feature--that her
+complexion was nothing, her figure nothing, and her dress worse than
+nothing.
+
+"I don't suppose," said Augusta, "that her father has given her much
+money to bring to town with her."
+
+"To be sure he has not," replied Miss Frampton, "if he is only a poor
+country clergyman. I think it was in very bad taste for him to let her
+come at all."
+
+"Well," said Augusta, "we must take her a shopping this morning, and try
+to get her fitted out, so as to make a decent appearance at Nahant, as
+we are going thither in a few days."
+
+"Then I have come just in the right time," said Miss Frampton. "Nahant
+is the very place I wish to visit--my sweet friend Mrs. Dick Pewsey has
+given me such an account of it. She says there is considerable style
+there. She passed a week at Nahant when she came to Boston last summer."
+
+"Oh! I remember her," cried Augusta. "She was a mountain of blonde
+lace."
+
+"Yes," observed Miss Frampton, "and not an inch of that blonde has yet
+been paid for, or ever will be; I know it from good authority."
+
+They went shopping, and Augusta took them to the most fashionable store
+in Washington street, where Laura was surprised and confused at the
+sight of the various beautiful articles shown to them. Even their names
+perplexed her. She knew very well what gros de Naples was (or gro de
+nap, as it is commonly called), but she was at a loss to distinguish
+gros de Berlin, gros de Suisse, gros des Indes, and all the other gros.
+Augusta, however, was au fait of the whole, and talked and flitted, and
+glided; producing, as she supposed, great effect among the young
+salesmen at the counters. Miss Frampton examined everything with a
+scrutinizing eye, undervalued them all, and took frequent occasions to
+say that they were far inferior to similar articles in Philadelphia.
+
+At length, a very light-coloured figured silk, with a very new name, was
+selected for Laura. The price appeared to her extremely high, and when
+she heard the number of yards that were considered necessary, she
+faintly asked "if less would not do." Miss Frampton sneered, and Augusta
+laughed out, saying, "Don't you see that the silk is very narrow, and
+that it has a wrong side and a right side, and that the flowers have a
+top and a bottom? So as it cannot be turned every way, a larger quantity
+will be required."
+
+"Had I not better choose a plain silk," said Laura, "one that is wider,
+and that _can_ be turned any way?"
+
+"Oh! plain silks are so common," replied Augusta; "though, for a change,
+they are well enough. I have four. But this will be best for Nahant. We
+always dress to go there; and, of course, we expect all of our party to
+do the same."
+
+"But really this silk is so expensive," whispered Laura.
+
+"Let the dress be cut off," said Miss Frampton, in a peremptory tone. "I
+am tired of so much hesitation. Tis in very bad taste."
+
+The dress _was_ cut off, and Laura, on calculating the amount, found
+that it would make a sad inroad on her little modicum. Being told that
+she must have also a new printed muslin, one was chosen for her with a
+beautiful sky blue for the predominant colour, and Laura found that this
+also was a very costly dress. She was next informed that she could not
+be presentable without a French pelerine of embroidered muslin.
+
+Pelerines in great variety were then produced, and Laura found, to her
+dismay, that the prices were from ten to twenty-five dollars. She
+declined taking one, and Miss Frampton and Augusta exchanged looks which
+said, as plainly as looks could speak, "I suppose she has not money
+enough."
+
+Laura coloured--hesitated--at last false pride got the better of her
+scruples. The salesman commended the beauty of the pelerines;
+particularly of one tied up in the front, and ornamented on the
+shoulders, with bows of blue riband--and our heroine yielded, and took
+it at fifteen dollars; those at ten dollars being voted by Miss Frampton
+"absolutely mean."
+
+After this, Laura was induced to supply herself with silk stockings and
+white kid gloves, "of a new style," and was also persuaded to give five
+dollars for a small scarf, also of a new style. And when all these
+purchases were made, she found that three quarters of a dollar were all
+that remained in her purse. Augusta also bought several new articles;
+but Miss Frampton got nothing. However, she insisted afterwards on going
+into every fancy store in Washington street--not to buy, but "to see
+what they had": and gave much trouble in causing the salesmen needlessly
+to display their goods to her, and some offence by making invidious
+comparisons between their merchandise and that of Philadelphia. By the
+time all this shopping was over, the clock of the Old South had struck
+two, and it was found expedient to postpone till next day the intended
+visit to the milliner and mantua-maker, Miss Frampton and Augusta
+declaring that, of afternoons, they were never fit for anything but to
+throw themselves on the bed and go to sleep. Laura Lovel, fatigued both
+in body and mind, and feeling much dissatisfied with herself, was glad
+of a respite from the pursuit of finery, though it was only till next
+morning; and she was almost "at her wit's end" to know in what way she
+was to pay for having her dress made--much less for the fashionable new
+bonnet which her companions insisted on her getting--Augusta giving more
+than hints, that if she went with the family to Nahant, they should
+expect her "to look like other people;" and Miss Frampton signifying in
+loud whispers, that "those who were unable to make an appearance, had
+always better stay at home."
+
+In the evening there were some visitors, none of whom were very
+entertaining or agreeable, though all the ladies were excessively
+dressed. Laura was reminded of the homely proverb, "Birds of a feather
+flock together." The chief entertainment was listening to Augusta's
+music, who considered herself to play and sing with wonderful execution.
+But to the unpractised ears and eyes of our heroine, it seemed nothing
+more than an alternate succession of high shrieks and low murmurs,
+accompanied by various contortions of the face, sundry bowings and
+wavings of the body, great elevation of the shoulders and squaring of
+the elbows, and incessant quivering of the fingers, and throwing back of
+the hands. Miss Frampton talked all the while in a low voice to a lady
+that sat next to her, and turned round at intervals to assure Augusta
+that her singing was divine, and that she reminded her of Madame Feron.
+
+Augusta had just finished a very great song, and was turning over her
+music-books in search of another, when a slight ring was heard at the
+street door, and as William opened it, a weak, hesitating voice inquired
+for Miss Laura Lovel, adding, "I hope to be excused. I know I ought not
+to make so free; but I heard this afternoon that Miss Laura, eldest
+daughter of the Reverend Edward Lovel of Rosebrook, Massachusetts, is
+now in this house, and I have walked five miles into town, for the
+purpose of seeing the young lady. However, I ought not to consider the
+walk as anything, and it was improper in me to speak of it at all. The
+young lady is an old friend of mine, if I may be so bold as to say so."
+
+"There's company in the parlour," said William, in a tone not over
+respectful; "very particular company."
+
+"I won't meddle with any of the company," proceeded the voice. "I am
+very careful never to make myself disagreeable. But I just wish (if I am
+not taking too great a liberty) to see Miss Laura Lovel."
+
+"Shall I call her out," said William.
+
+"I would not for the world give her the trouble," replied the stranger.
+"It is certainly my place to go to the young lady, and not hers to come
+to me. I always try to be polite. I hope you don't find me unpleasant."
+
+"Miss Lovel," said Miss Frampton, sneeringly, "this must certainly be
+_your_ beau."
+
+The parlour-door being open, the whole of the preceding dialogue had
+been heard by the company, and Miss Frampton, from the place in which
+she sat, had a view of the stranger, as he stood in the entry.
+
+William, then, with an unsuppressed grin, ushered into the room a
+little, thin, weak-looking man, who had a whitish face, and dead light
+hair, cut straight across his forehead. His dress was scrupulously neat,
+but very unfashionable. He wore a full suit of yellowish brown cloth,
+with all the gloss on. His legs were covered with smooth cotton
+stockings, and he had little silver knee-buckles. His shirt collar and
+cravat were stiff and blue, the latter being tied in front with very
+long ends, and in his hand he held a blue bandanna handkerchief,
+carefully folded up. His whole deportment was stiff and awkward.
+
+On entering the room, he bowed very low with a peculiar jerk of the
+head, and his whole appearance and manner denoted the very acme of
+humility. The company regarded him with amazement, and Miss Frampton
+began to whisper, keeping her eye fixed on him all the time. Laura
+started from her chair, hastened to him, and holding out her hand,
+addressed him by the name of Pyam Dodge. He took the proffered hand,
+after a moment of hesitation, and said, "I hope I am properly sensible
+of your kindness, Miss Laura Lovel, in allowing me to take your hand,
+now that you are grown. Many a time have I led you to my school, when I
+boarded at your respected father's, who I trust is well. But now I would
+not, on any account, be too familiar."
+
+(Laura pointed to a chair.)
+
+"But which is the mistress of the house? I know perfectly well that it
+is proper for me to pay my respects to her, before I take the liberty of
+sitting down under her roof. If I may presume to say that I understand
+anything thoroughly, it is certainly good manners. In my school, manners
+were always perfectly well taught--my own manners, I learned chiefly
+from my revered uncle, Deacon Ironskirt, formerly of Wicketiquock, but
+now of Popsquash."
+
+Laura then introduced Pyam Dodge to the lady of the house, who received
+him civilly, and then to Mr. Brantley, who, perceiving that the poor
+schoolmaster was what is called a character, found his curiosity excited
+to know what he would do next.
+
+This ceremony over, Pyam Dodge bowed round to each of the company
+separately. Laura saw at once that he was an object of ridicule; and his
+entire want of tact, and his pitiable simplicity, had never before
+struck her so forcibly. She was glad when, at last, he took a seat
+beside her, and, in a low voice, she endeavoured to engage him in a
+conversation that should prevent him from talking to any one else. She
+found that he was master of a district school about five miles from
+Boston, and that he was perfectly contented--for more than that he had
+never aspired to be.
+
+But vain were the efforts of our heroine to keep Pyam Dodge to herself,
+and to prevent him from manifesting his peculiarities to the rest of the
+company. Perceiving that Augusta had turned round on her music-stool to
+listen and to look at him, the schoolmaster rose on his feet, and bowing
+first to the young lady, and then to her mother, he said: "Madam, I am
+afraid that I have disturbed the child while striking on her
+pyano-forty. I would on no account cause any interruption--for that
+might be making myself disagreeable. On the contrary, it would give me
+satisfaction for the child to continue her exercise, and I shall esteem
+it a privilege to hear how she plays her music. I have taught singing
+myself."
+
+Augusta then, by desire of her mother, commenced a new bravura, which
+ran somehow thus:--
+
+Oh! drop a tear, a tender tear--oh! drop a tear, a tender, tender tear.
+Oh! drop, oh! drop, oh! dro-o-op a te-en-der te-e-ear--a tender tear--a
+tear for me--a tear for me; a tender tear for me.
+
+When I, when I, when I-I-I am wand'ring, wand'ring, wand'ring, wand'ring
+far, far from thee--fa-a-ar, far, far, far from thee--from thee.
+
+For sadness in--for sadness in, my heart, my heart shall reign--shall
+re-e-e-ign--my hee-e-art--for sa-a-adness in my heart shall reign--shall
+reign.
+
+Until--until--unti-i-il we fondly, fondly meet again, we fondly meet,
+we fo-o-ondly me-e-et--until we fondly, fondly, fondly meet--meet, meet,
+meet again--we meet again.
+
+This song (in which the silliness of the words was increased tenfold by
+the incessant repetition of them), after various alternations of high
+and low, fast and slow, finished in thunder, Augusta striking the
+concluding notes with an energy that made the piano tremble.
+
+When the bravura was over, Pyam Dodge, who had stood listening in
+amazement, looked at Mrs. Brantley, and said: "Madam, your child must
+doubtless sing that song very well when she gets the right tune."
+
+"The right tune!" interrupted Augusta, indignantly.
+
+"The right tune!" echoed Mrs. Brantley and Miss Frampton.
+
+"Yes," said Pyam Dodge, solemnly--"and the right words also. For what I
+have just heard is, of course, neither the regular tune nor the proper
+words, as they seem to go every how--therefore I conclude that all this
+wandering and confusion was caused by the presence of strangers: myself,
+in all probability, being the greatest stranger, if I may be so bold as
+to say so. This is doubtless the reason why she mixed up the words at
+random, and repeated the same so often, and why her actions at the
+pyano-forty are so strange. I trust that at other times she plays and
+sings so as to give the proper sense."
+
+Augusta violently shut down the lid of the piano, and gave her father a
+look that implied: "Won't you turn him out of the house?" But Mr.
+Brantley was much diverted, and laughed audibly.
+
+Pyam Dodge surveyed himself from head to foot, ascertained that his
+knee-buckles were fast, and his cravat not untied, and, finding all his
+clothes in complete order, he said, looking round to the company: "I
+hope there is nothing ridiculous about me. It is my endeavour to appear
+as well as possible; but the race is not always to the swift, nor the
+battle to the strong."
+
+"Upon my word," said Miss Frampton, leaning across the centre-table to
+Mrs. Brantley, "your _protegee_ seems to have a strange taste in her
+acquaintances. However, that is always the case with people who have
+never been in society, as my friend Mrs. Tom Spradlington justly
+remarks."
+
+A waiter with refreshments was now brought in, and handed round to the
+company. When it came to Pyam Dodge, he rose on his feet, and thanked
+the man for handing it to him; then, taking the smallest possible
+quantity of each of the different articles, he put all on the same
+plate, and, unfolding his blue bandanna, he spread it carefully and
+smoothly over his knees, and commenced eating with the smallest possible
+mouthfuls, praising everything as he tasted it. The wine being offered
+to him, he respectfully declined it, signifying that he belonged to the
+Temperance Society. But he afterwards took a glass of lemonade, on being
+assured that it was not punch, and again rising on his feet, he drank
+the health of each of the company separately, and not knowing their
+names, he designated them as the lady in the blue gown, the lady in the
+white gown, the gentleman in the black coat, &c.
+
+This ceremony over, Pyam Dodge took out an old-fashioned silver watch,
+of a shape almost globular, and looking at the hour, he made many
+apologies for going away so soon, having five miles to walk, and
+requested that his departure might not break up the company. He then
+bowed all round again--told Laura he would thank her for her hand,
+which, on her giving him, he shook high and awkwardly, walked backwards
+to the door and ran against it, trusted he had made himself agreeable,
+and at last departed.
+
+The front-door had scarcely closed after him, when a general laugh took
+place, which even Laura could scarcely refrain from joining in.
+
+"Upon my word, Miss Lovel," said Augusta, "this friend of yours is the
+most peculiar person I ever beheld."
+
+"I never saw a man in worse taste," remarked Miss Frampton.
+
+In a moment another ring was heard at the door, and on its being opened,
+Pyam Dodge again made his appearance in the parlour, to beg pardon of
+the lady of the house, for not having returned thanks for his
+entertainment, and also to the _young_ lady for her music, which, he
+said, "was doubtless well meant." He then repeated his bows and
+withdrew.
+
+"What an intolerable fool!" exclaimed Augusta.
+
+"Indeed," replied Laura Lovel, "he is, after all, not deficient in
+understanding, though his total want of tact, and his entire ignorance
+of the customs of the world, give an absurdity to his manner, which I
+confess it is difficult to witness without a smile. I have heard my
+father say that Pyam Dodge is one of the best classical scholars he ever
+knew, and he is certainly a man of good feelings, and of irreproachable
+character."
+
+"I never knew a bore that was not," remarked Miss Frampton.
+
+There was again a ring at the door, and again Pyam Dodge was ushered in.
+His business now was to inform Miss Laura Lovel, that if she did not see
+him every day during her residence in Boston, she must not impute the
+infrequency of his visits to any disrespect on his part, but rather to
+his close confinement to the duties of his school--besides which, his
+leisure time was much occupied in studying Arabic; but he hoped to make
+his arrangements, so as to be able to come to town and spend at least
+three evenings with her every week.
+
+At this intimation there were such evident tokens of disapproval, on the
+part of the Brantley family and Miss Frampton, and of embarrassment on
+that of Laura, that poor Pyam Dodge, obtuse as he was to the things of
+this world, saw that the announcement of his visits was not perfectly
+well received. He looked amazed at this discovery, but bowed lower than
+ever, hoped he was not disgusting, and again retreated.
+
+Once more was heard at the door the faint ring that announced the
+schoolmaster. "Assuredly," observed a gentleman present, "this must be
+the original Return Strong."
+
+This time, however, poor Pyam Dodge did not venture into the parlour,
+but was heard meekly to inquire of the servant, if he had not dropped
+his handkerchief in the hall. The handkerchief was picked up, and he
+finally departed, humbly hoping "that the gentleman attending the door,
+had not found him troublesome." The moment he was gone, the gentleman
+that attended the door was heard audibly to put down the dead-latch.
+
+Next day Augusta Brantley gave a standing order to the servants, that
+whenever Miss Lovel's schoolmaster came, he was to be told that the
+whole family were out of town.
+
+In the morning, Laura was conveyed by Augusta and Miss Frampton to the
+mantua-maker's, and Miss Boxpleat demurred a long time about undertaking
+the two dresses, and longer still about finishing them that week, in
+consequence of the vast quantity of work she had now on hand. Finally
+she consented, assuring Laura Lovel that she only did so to oblige Miss
+Brantley.
+
+Laura then asked what would be her charge for making the dresses. Miss
+Boxpleat reddened, and vouchsafed no reply; Miss Frampton laughed out,
+and Augusta twitched Laura's sleeve, who wondered what _faux pas_ she
+had committed, till she learned in a whisper, that it was an affront to
+the dressmaker to attempt to bargain with her beforehand, and our
+heroine, much disconcerted, passively allowed herself to be fitted for
+the dresses.
+
+Laura had a very pretty bonnet of the finest and whitest split straw,
+modestly trimmed with white lutestring riband; but her companions told
+her that there was no existing without a dress-hat, and she was
+accordingly carried to Miss Pipingcord's. Here they found that all the
+handsomest articles of this description were already engaged, but they
+made her bespeak one of a very expensive silk, trimmed with flowers and
+gauze riband, and when she objected to the front, as exposing her whole
+face to the summer sun, she was told that of course she must have a
+blonde gauze veil. "We will stop at Whitaker's," said Augusta, "and see
+his assortment, and you can make the purchase at once." Laura knew that
+she could not, and steadily persisted in her refusal, saying that she
+must depend on her parasol for screening her face.
+
+Several other superfluities were pressed upon our poor heroine, as they
+proceeded along Washington street; Augusta really thinking it
+indispensable that Laura should be fashionably and expensively dressed,
+and Miss Frampton feeling a malignant pleasure in observing how much
+these importunities confused and distressed her.
+
+Laura sat down to dinner with an aching head, and no appetite, and
+afterwards retired to her room, and endeavoured to allay her uneasiness
+with a book.
+
+"So," said Miss Frampton to Mrs. Brantley, "this is the girl that dear
+Augusta tells me you think of inviting to pass the winter with you."
+
+"Why, is she not very pretty?" replied Mrs. Brantley.
+
+"Not in my eye," answered Miss Frampton. "Wait but two years, till my
+sweet Augusta is old enough and tall enough to come out, and you will
+have no occasion to invite beauties, for the purpose of drawing company
+to your house--for, of course, I cannot but understand the motive; and
+pray, how can the father of this girl enable her to make a proper
+appearance? When she has got through the two new dresses that we had so
+much difficulty in persuading her to venture upon, is she to return to
+her black marcelline?--You certainly do not intend to wrong your own
+child by going to the expense of dressing out this parson's daughter
+yourself. And, after all, these green young girls do not draw company
+half so well as ladies a few years older--decided women of ton, who are
+familiar with the whole routine of society, and have the veritable _air
+distingue_. One of that description would do more for your soirees, next
+winter, than twenty of these village beauties."
+
+Next day our heroine's new bonnet came home, accompanied by a bill of
+twelve dollars. She had supposed that the price would not exceed seven
+or eight. She had not the money, and her embarrassment was increased by
+Miss Frampton's examining the bill, and reminding her that there was a
+receipt to it. Laura's confusion was so palpable, that Mrs. Brantley
+felt some compassion for her, and said to the milliner's girl, "The
+young lady will call at Miss Pipingcord's, and pay for her hat." And the
+girl departed, first asking to have the bill returned to her, as it was
+receipted.
+
+When our heroine and her companions were out next morning, they passed
+by the milliner's, and Laura instinctively turned away her head. "You
+can now call at Miss Pipingcord's and pay her bill," said Miss Frampton.
+"It is here that she lives--don't you see her name on the door?"
+
+"I have not the money about me," said Laura, in a faltering voice--"I
+have left my purse at home." This was her first attempt at a subterfuge,
+and conscience-struck, she could not say another word during the walk.
+
+On the last day of the week, her dresses were sent home, with a bill of
+eleven dollars for making the two, not including what are called the
+trimmings, all of which were charged at about four times their real
+cost. Laura was more confounded than ever. Neither Mrs. Brantley nor
+Augusta happened to be present, but Miss Frampton was, and understood it
+all. "Can't you tell the girl you will call and settle Miss Boxpleat's
+bill?" said she. "Don't look so confused"--adding in a somewhat lower
+voice, "she will suspect you have no money to pay with--really, your
+behaviour is in very bad taste."
+
+Laura's lip quivered, and her cheek grew pale. Miss Frampton could
+scarcely help laughing, to see her so new to the world, and at last
+deigned to relieve her by telling Miss Boxpleat's girl that Miss Lovel
+would call and settle the bill.
+
+The girl was scarcely out of the room, when poor Laura, unable to
+restrain herself another moment, hid her face against one of the
+cushions of the ottoman, and burst into tears. The flinty heart of Miss
+Frampton underwent a momentary softening. She looked awhile in silence
+at Laura, and then said to her, "Why, you seem to take this very much to
+heart."
+
+"No wonder," replied Laura, sobbing--"I have expended all my money; all
+that my father gave me at my departure from home. At least I have only
+the merest trifle left; and how am I to pay either the milliner's bill,
+or the mantua-maker's?"
+
+Miss Frampton deliberated for a few moments, walked to the window, and
+stood there awhile--then approached the still weeping Laura, and said to
+her, "What would you say if a friend was to come forward to relieve you
+from this embarrassment?"
+
+"I have no friend," replied Laura, in a half-choked voice--"at least
+none here. Oh! how I wish that I had never left home!"
+
+Miss Frampton paused again, and finally offered Laura the loan of
+twenty-five dollars, till she could get money from her father. "I know
+not," said Laura, "how I can ask my father so soon for any more money. I
+am convinced that he gave me all he could possibly spare. I have done
+very wrong in allowing myself to incur expenses which I am unable to
+meet. I can never forgive myself. Oh! how miserable I am!" And she again
+covered her face and cried bitterly.
+
+Miss Frampton hesitated--but she had heard Mr. Brantley speak of Mr.
+Lovel as a man of the strictest integrity, and she was certain that he
+would strain every nerve, and redouble the economy of his family
+expenditure, rather than allow his daughter to remain long under
+pecuniary obligations to a stranger. She felt that she ran no risk in
+taking from her pocket-book notes to the amount of twenty-five dollars,
+and putting them into the hands of Laura, who had thought at one time of
+applying to Mr. Brantley for the loan of a sufficient sum to help her
+out of her present difficulties, but was deterred by a feeling of
+invincible repugnance to taxing any farther the kindness of her host,
+conceiving herself already under sufficient obligations to him as his
+guest, and a partaker of his hospitality. However, had she known more of
+the world and had a greater insight into the varieties of the human
+character, she would have infinitely preferred throwing herself on the
+generosity of Mr. Brantley, to becoming the debtor of Miss Frampton. As
+it was, she gratefully accepted the proffered kindness of that lady,
+feeling it a respite. Drying her tears, she immediately equipped herself
+for walking, hastened both to the milliner and the mantua-maker, and
+paying their bills, she returned home with a lightened heart.
+
+Laura Lovel had already begun to find her visit to the Brantley family
+less agreeable than she had anticipated. They had nothing in common with
+herself; their conversation was neither edifying nor entertaining. They
+had few books, except the Annuals; and though she passed the Circulating
+Libraries with longing eyes, she did not consider that she was
+sufficiently in funds to avail herself of their contents. No
+opportunities were offered her of seeing any of the shows of the city,
+and of those that casually fell in her way, she found her companions
+generally more ignorant than herself. They did not conceive that a
+stranger could be amused or interested with things that, having always
+been within their own reach, had failed to awaken in _them_ the
+slightest curiosity. Mr. Brantley was infinitely the best of the family;
+but he was immersed in business all day, and in the newspapers all the
+evening. Mrs. Brantley was nothing, and Augusta's petulance and
+heartlessness, and Miss Frampton's impertinence (which somewhat
+increased after she lent the money to Laura), were equally annoying. The
+visitors of the family were nearly of the same stamp as its members.
+
+Laura, however, had looked forward with much anticipated pleasure to the
+long-talked-of visit to the sea-shore; and in the mean time her chief
+enjoyment was derived from the afternoon rides that were occasionally
+taken in Mr. Brantley's carriage, and which gave our heroine an
+opportunity of seeing something of the beautiful environs of Boston.
+
+Miss Frampton's fits of kindness were always very transient, and Laura's
+deep mortification at having been necessitated to accept a favour from
+such a woman, was rendered still more poignant by unavoidably
+overhearing (as she was dressing at her toilet-table that stood between
+two open windows) the following dialogue; the speakers being two of Mrs.
+Brantley's servant girls that were ironing in the kitchen porch, and who
+in talking to each other of the young ladies, always dropped the title
+of Miss:
+
+"Matilda," said one of them, "don't you hear Laura's bell? Didn't she
+tell you arter dinner, that she would ring for you arter a while, to
+come up stairs and hook the back of her dress."
+
+"Yes," replied Matilda--"I hear it as plain as you do, Eliza; but I
+guess I shan't go till it suits me. I'm quite beat out with running up
+stairs from morning to night to wait on that there Philadelphy woman, as
+she takes such high airs. Who but she indeed! Any how, I'm not a going
+to hurry. I shall just act as if I did not hear no bell at all--for as
+to this here Laura, I guess she an't much. Augusta told me this morning,
+when she got me to fix her hair, that Miss Frampton told her that Laura
+axed and begged her, amost on her bare knees, to lend her some money to
+pay for her frocks and bunnet."
+
+"Why, how could she act so!" exclaimed Eliza.
+
+"Because," resumed Matilda, "her people sent her here without a copper
+in her pocket. So I guess they're a pretty shabby set, after all."
+
+"I was judging as much," said Eliza, "by her not taking no airs, and
+always acting so polite to everybody."
+
+"Well now," observed Matilda, "Mr. Scourbrass, the gentleman as lives
+with old Madam Montgomery, at the big house, in Bowdin Square, and helps
+to do her work, always stands out that very great people of the rale
+sort, act much better, and an't so apt to take airs as them what are
+upstarts."
+
+"Doctors differ," sagely remarked Eliza. "However, as you say, I don't
+believe this here Laura _is_ much; and I'm thinking how she'll get along
+at Nahant. Miss Lathersoap, the lady as washes her clothes, told me,
+among other things, that Laura's pocket-handkerchers are all quite
+plain--not a worked or a laced one among them. Now our Augusta would
+scorn to carry a plain handkercher, and so would her mother."
+
+"I've taken notice of Laura's handkerchers myself," said Matilda, "and I
+don't see why we young ladies as lives out, and does people's work to
+oblige them, should be expected to run at the beck and call of any
+strangers they may choose to take into the house; let alone when they're
+not no great things."
+
+Laura retreated from the open windows, that she might hear no more of a
+conversation so painful to her. She would at once have written to her
+father, told him all, and begged him, if he possibly could, to send her
+money enough to repay Miss Frampton, but she had found, by a letter
+received the day before, that he had gone on some business to the
+interior of Maine, and would not be home in less than a fortnight.
+
+Next day was the one finally appointed for their removal to Nahant, and
+our heroine felt her spirits revive at the idea of beholding, for the
+first time in her life, "the sea, the sea, the open sea." They went in
+Mr. Brantley's carriage, and Laura understood that she _might_ ride in
+her black silk dress and her straw bonnet.
+
+They crossed at the Winnisimmet Ferry, rode through Chelsea, and soon
+arrived at the flourishing town of Lynn, where every man was making
+shoes, and every woman binding them. The last sunbeams were glowing in
+the west, when they came to the beautiful Long Beach that connects the
+rocks of Lynn with those of Nahant, the sand being so firm and smooth
+that the shadow of every object is reflected in it downwards. The tide
+was so high that they drove along the verge of the surf, the horses'
+feet splashing through the water, and trampling on the shells and
+sea-weed left by the retiring waves. Cattle, as they went home, were
+cooling themselves by wading breast high in the breakers; and the little
+sand-birds were sporting on the crests of the billows, sometimes flying
+low, and dipping into the water the white edges of their wings, and
+sometimes seeming, with their slender feet, to walk on the surface of
+the foam. Beyond the everlasting breakers rolled the unbounded ocean,
+the haze of evening coming fast upon it, and the full moon rising broad
+and red through the misty veil of the eastern horizon.
+
+Laura Lovel felt as if she could have viewed this scene for ever, and at
+times she could not refrain from audibly expressing her delight. The
+other ladies were deeply engaged in listening to Miss Frampton's account
+of a ball and supper given by her intimate friend, that lovely woman,
+Mrs. Ben Derrydown, the evening before Mr. Ben Derrydown's last failure,
+and which ball and supper exceeded in splendour anything she had ever
+witnessed, except the wedding-party of her sweet love, Mrs. Nick
+Rearsby, whose furniture was seized by the sheriff a few months after;
+and the birth-night concert at the coming out of her darling pet, Kate
+Bolderhurst, who ran away next morning with her music-master.
+
+Our party now arrived at the Nahant Hotel, which was full of visitors,
+with some of whom the Brantleys were acquainted. After tea, when the
+company adjourned to the lower drawing-rooms, the extraordinary beauty
+of Laura Lovel drew the majority of the gentlemen to that side of the
+apartment on which the Brantley family were seated. Many introductions
+took place, and Mrs. Brantley felt in paradise at seeing that _her_
+party had attracted the greatest number of beaux. Miss Frampton
+generally made a point of answering everything that was addressed to
+Laura; and Augusta glided, and flitted, and chattered much impertinent
+nonsense to the gentlemen on the outskirts of the group, that were
+waiting for an opportunity of saying something to Miss Lovel.
+
+Our heroine was much confused at finding herself an object of such
+general attention, and was also overwhelmed by the officious volubility
+of Miss Frampton, though none of it was addressed to _her_. Mrs.
+Maitland, a lady as unlike Mrs. Brantley as possible, was seated on the
+other side of Laura Lovel, and was at once prepossessed in her favour,
+not only from the beauty of her features, but from the intelligence of
+her countenance. Desirous of being better acquainted, and seeing that
+Laura's present position was anything but pleasant to her, Mrs. Maitland
+proposed that they should take a turn in the veranda that runs round the
+second story of the hotel. To this suggestion Laura gladly assented--for
+she felt at once that Mrs. Maitland was just the sort of woman she would
+like to know. There was a refinement and dignity in her appearance and
+manner that showed her to be "every inch a lady;" but that dignity was
+tempered with a frankness and courtesy that put every one around her
+immediately at their ease. Though now in the autumn of life, her figure
+was still good--her features still handsome, but they derived their
+chief charm from the sensible and benevolent expression of her fine open
+countenance. Her attire was admirably suited to her face and person; but
+she was not over-dressed, and she was evidently one of those fortunate
+women who, without bestowing much time and attention upon it, are _au
+fait_ of all that constitutes a correct and tasteful costume.
+
+Mrs. Maitland took Laura's arm within hers, and telling Mrs. Brantley
+that she was going to carry off Miss Lovel for half an hour, she made a
+sign to a fine-looking young man on the other side of the room, and
+introduced him as her son, Mr. Aubrey Maitland. He conducted the two
+ladies up stairs to the veranda, and in a few minutes our heroine felt
+as if she had been acquainted with the Maitlands for years. No longer
+kept down and oppressed by the night-mare influence of fools, her spirit
+expanded, and breathed once more. She expressed, without hesitation,
+her delight at the scene that presented itself before her--for she felt
+that she was understood.
+
+The moon, now "high in heaven," threw a solemn light on the trembling
+expanse of the ocean, and glittered on the spray that foamed and
+murmured for ever round the rocks that environed the little peninsula,
+their deep recesses slumbering in shade, while their crags and points
+came out in silver brightness. Around lay the numerous islands that are
+scattered over Boston harbour, and far apart glowed the fires of two
+light-houses, like immense stars beaming on the verge of the horizon;
+one of them, a revolving light, alternately shining out and
+disappearing. As a contrast to the still repose that reigned around, was
+the billiard-room (resembling a little Grecian temple), on a promontory
+that overlooked the sea--the lamps that shone through its windows,
+mingling with the moon-beams, and the rolling sound of the
+billiard-balls uniting with the murmur of the eternal waters.
+
+Mrs. Maitland listened with corresponding interest to the animated and
+original comments of her new friend, whose young and enthusiastic
+imagination had never been more vividly excited; and she drew her out,
+till Laura suddenly stopped, blushing with the fear that she had been
+saying too much. Before they returned to the drawing-room, Aubrey was
+decidedly and deeply in love.
+
+When Laura retired to her apartment, she left the window open, that she
+might from her pillow look out upon the moonlight sea, and be fanned by
+the cool night breeze that gently rippled its waters; and when she was
+at last lulled to repose by the monotonous dashing of the surf against
+the rocks beneath her casement, she had a dream of the peninsula of
+Nahant--not as it now is, covered with new and tasteful buildings, and a
+favourite resort of the fashion and opulence of Boston, but as it must
+have looked two centuries ago, when the seals made their homes among its
+caverned rocks, and when the only human habitations were the rude huts
+of the Indian fishers, and the only boats their canoes of bark and
+skins.
+
+When she awoke from her dream, she saw the morning-star sparkling high
+in the east, and casting on the dark surface of the sea a line of light
+which seemed to mimic that of the moon, long since gone down beyond the
+opposite horizon. Laura rose at the earliest glimpse of dawn to watch
+the approaches of the coming day. A hazy vapour had spread itself over
+the water, and through its gauzy veil she first beheld the red rim of
+the rising sun, seeming to emerge from its ocean bed. As the sun
+ascended, the mist slowly rolled away, and "the light of morning smiled
+upon the wave," and tinted the white sails of a little fleet of
+outward-bound fishing-boats.
+
+At the breakfast table the majority of the company consisted of ladies
+only: most of the gentlemen (including Aubrey Maitland) having gone in
+the early steamboat to attend to their business in the city. After
+breakfast, Laura proposed a walk, and Augusta and Miss Frampton, not
+knowing what else to do with themselves, consented to accompany her. A
+certain Miss Blunsdon (who, being an heiress, and of a patrician family,
+conceived herself privileged to do as she pleased, and therefore made it
+her pleasure to be a hoyden and a slattern), volunteered to pioneer
+them, boasting of her intimate knowledge of every nook and corner of the
+neighbourhood. Our heroine, by particular desire of Augusta and Miss
+Frampton, had arrayed herself that morning in her new French muslin,
+with what they called its proper accompaniments.
+
+Miss Blunsdon conducted the party to that singular cleft in the rocks,
+known by the name of the Swallow's Cave, in consequence of its having
+been formerly the resort of those birds, whose nests covered its walls.
+Miss Frampton stopped as soon as they came in sight of it, declaring
+that it was in bad taste for ladies to scramble about such rugged
+places, and Augusta agreeing that a fancy for wet, slippery rocks was
+certainly very peculiar. So the two friends sat down on the most level
+spot they could find, while Miss Blunsdon insisted on Laura's following
+her to the utmost extent of the cave, and our heroine's desire to
+explore this wild and picturesque recess made her forgetful of the
+probable consequences to her dress.
+
+Miss Blunsdon and Laura descended into the cleft, which, as they
+proceeded, became so narrow as almost to close above their heads; its
+lofty and irregular walls seeming to lose themselves in the blue sky.
+The passage at the bottom was in some places scarcely wide enough to
+allow them to squeeze through it. The tide was low, yet still the
+stepping-stones, loosely imbedded in the sand and sea-weed, were nearly
+covered with water. But Laura followed her guide to the utmost extent of
+the passage, till they looked out again upon the sea.
+
+When they rejoined their companions--"Oh! look at your new French
+muslin," exclaimed Augusta to Laura. "It is draggled half way up to your
+knees, and the salt water has already taken the colour out of it--and
+your pelerine is split down the back--and your shoes are half off your
+feet, and your stockings are all over wet sand. How very peculiar you
+look!"
+
+Laura was now extremely sorry to find her dress so much injured, and
+Miss Frampton comforted her by the assurance that it would never again
+be fit to be seen. They returned to the hotel, where they found Mrs.
+Maitland reading on one of the sofas in the upper hall. Laura was
+hastily running up stairs, but Augusta called out--"Mrs. Maitland, do
+look at Miss Lovel--did you ever see such a figure? She has demolished
+her new dress, scrambling through the Swallow's Cave with Miss
+Blunsdon." And she ran into the ladies' drawing-room to repeat the story
+at full length, while Laura retired to her room to try some means of
+remedying her disasters, and to regret that she had not been permitted
+to bring with her to Nahant some of her gingham morning dresses. The
+French muslin, however, was incurable; its blue, though very beautiful,
+being of that peculiar cast which always fades into a dull white when
+wet with water.
+
+Miss Frampton remained a while in the hall: and taking her seat beside
+Mrs. Maitland, said to her in a low confidential voice--"Have you not
+observed, Mrs. Maitland, that when people, who are nobody, attempt
+dress, they always overdo it. Only think of a country clergyman's
+daughter coming to breakfast in so expensive a French muslin, and then
+going out in it to clamber about the rocks, and paddle among the wet
+sea-weed. Now you will see what a show she will make at dinner in a
+dress, the cost of which would keep her whole family in comfortable
+calico gowns for two years. I was with her when she did her shopping,
+and though, as a friend, I could not forbear entreating her to get
+things that were suitable to her circumstances and to her station in
+life, she turned a deaf ear to everything I said (which was certainly in
+very bad taste), and she would buy nothing but the most expensive and
+useless frippery. I suppose she expects to catch the beaux by it. But
+when they find out who she is, I rather think they will only nibble at
+the bait--Heavens! what a wife she will make! And then such a want of
+self-respect, and even of common integrity. Of course you will not
+mention it--for I would on no consideration that it should go any
+farther--but between ourselves. I was actually obliged to lend her money
+to pay her bills."
+
+Mrs. Maitland, thoroughly disgusted with her companion, and disbelieving
+the whole of her gratuitous communication, rose from the sofa and
+departed without vouchsafing a reply.
+
+At dinner, Laura Lovel appeared in her new silk, and really looked
+beautifully. Miss Frampton, observing that our heroine attracted the
+attention of several gentlemen who had just arrived from the city, took
+an opportunity, while she was receiving a plate of chowder from one of
+the waiters, to spill part of it on Laura's dress.
+
+"I beg your pardon, Miss Lovel," said she; "when I took the soup I did
+not perceive that you and your new silk were beside me."
+
+Laura began to wipe her dress with her pocket-handkerchief. "Now don't
+look so disconcerted," pursued Miss Frampton, in a loud whisper. "It is
+in very bad taste to appear annoyed when an accident happens to your
+dress. People in society always pass off such things, as of no
+consequence whatever. I have apologized for spilling the soup, and what
+more can I do?"
+
+Poor Laura was not in _society_, and she knew that to _her_ the accident
+_was_ of consequence. However, she rallied, and tried to appear as if
+she thought no more of the mischance that had spoiled the handsomest and
+most expensive dress she had ever possessed. After dinner she tried to
+remove the immense grease-spot by every application within her reach,
+but had no success.
+
+When she returned to the drawing-room, she was invited to join a party
+that was going to visit the Spouting Horn, as it is generally
+denominated. She had heard this remarkable place much talked of since
+her arrival at Nahant, and she certainly felt a great desire to see it.
+Mrs. Maitland had letters to write, and Mrs. Brantley and Miss Frampton
+were engaged in their siesta; but Augusta was eager for the walk, as she
+found that several gentlemen were going, among them Aubrey Maitland, who
+had just arrived in the afternoon boat. His eyes sparkled at the sight
+of our heroine, and offering her his arm, they proceeded with the rest
+of the party to the Spouting Horn. This is a deep cavity at the bottom
+of a steep ledge of rocks, and the waves, as they rush successively into
+it with the tide, are immediately thrown out again by the action of a
+current of air which comes through a small opening at the back of the
+recess, the spray falling round like that of a cascade or fountain. The
+tide and wind were both high, and Laura was told that the Spouting Horn
+would be seen to great advantage.
+
+Aubrey Maitland conducted her carefully down the least rugged declivity
+of the rock, and gave her his hand to assist her in springing from point
+to point. They at length descended to the bottom of the crag. Laura was
+bending forward with eager curiosity, and looking steadfastly into the
+wave-worn cavern, much interested in the explosions of foaming water,
+which was sometimes greater and sometimes less. Suddenly a blast of wind
+twisted her light dress-bonnet completely round, and broke the sewing of
+one of the strings, and the bonnet was directly whirled before her into
+the cavity of the rock, and the next moment thrown back again amidst a
+shower of sea-froth. Laura cried out involuntarily, and Aubrey sprung
+forward, and snatched it out of the water.
+
+"I fear," said he, "Miss Level, your bonnet is irreparably injured." "It
+is, indeed," replied Laura; and remembering Miss Frampton's lecture, she
+tried to say that the destruction of her bonnet was of no consequence,
+but unaccustomed to falsehood, the words died away on her lips.
+
+The ladies now gathered round our heroine, who held in her hand the
+dripping wreck of the once elegant bonnet; and they gave it as their
+unanimous opinion, that nothing could possibly be done to restore it to
+any form that would make it wearable. Laura then tied her scarf over her
+head, and Aubrey Maitland thought she looked prettier than ever.
+
+Late in the evening, Mr. Brantley arrived from town in his chaise,
+bringing from the post-office a letter for Laura Lovel, from her little
+sisters, or rather two letters written on the same sheet. They ran
+thus:--
+
+     "ROSEBROOK, August 9th, 18--.
+
+     "DEAREST SISTER:--We hope you are having a great deal of pleasure
+     in Boston. How many novels you must be reading--I wish I was grown
+     up as you are--I am eight years old, and I have never yet read a
+     novel. We miss you all the time. There is still a chair placed for
+     you at table, and Rosa and I take turns in sitting next to it. But
+     we can no longer hear your pleasant talk with our dear father. You
+     know Rosa and I always listened so attentively that we frequently
+     forgot to eat our dinners. I see advertised a large new book of
+     Fairy Tales. How much you will have to tell us when you come home.
+     Since you were so kind as to promise to bring me a book, I think,
+     upon second thought, I would rather have the Tales of the Castle
+     than Miss Edgeworth's Moral Tales.
+
+     "Dear mother now has to make all the pies and puddings herself. We
+     miss you every way. The Children's Friend must be a charming
+     book--so must the Friend of Youth.
+
+     "Yesterday we had a pair of fowls killed for dinner. Of course they
+     were not Rosa's chickens, nor mine--they were only Billy and Bobby.
+     But still, Rosa and I cried very much, as they were fowls that we
+     were acquainted with. Dear father reasoned with us about it for a
+     long time; but still, though the fowls were made into a pie, we
+     could eat nothing but the crust. I think I should like very much to
+     read the Robins, and also Keeper's Travels in Search of his Master.
+
+     "I hope, dear Laura, you will be able to remember everything you
+     have seen and heard in Boston, that you may have the more to tell
+     us when you come home. I think, after all, there is no book I would
+     prefer to the Arabian Nights--no doubt the Tales of the Genii are
+     also excellent. Dear Laura, how I long to see you again. Paul and
+     Virginia must be very delightful.
+
+     "Yours affectionately,
+
+     "ELLA LOVEL."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+     "DEAR SISTER LAURA--I cried for a long time after you left us, but
+     at last I wiped my eyes, and played with Ponto, and was happy. I
+     have concluded not to want the canary-bird I asked you to get for
+     me, as I think it best to be satisfied by hearing the birds sing on
+     the trees, in the garden, and in the woods. Last night I heard a
+     screech-owl--I would rather have a young fig-tree in a tub--or
+     else, a great quantity of new flower-seeds. If you do not get
+     either the fig-tree or the flower-seeds, I should like a blue cat,
+     such as I have read of: you know those cats are not sky-blue, but
+     only a bluish gray. If a blue cat is not to be had, I should be
+     glad of a pair of white English rabbits; and yet, I think I would
+     quite as willingly have a pair of doves. I never saw a real dove;
+     but if doves are scarce, or cost too much, I shall be satisfied
+     with a pair of fan-tailed pigeons, if they are quite white, and
+     their tails fan very much. If you had a great deal of money to
+     spare, I should like a kid or a fawn, but I know that is
+     impossible; so I will not think of it. Perhaps, when I grow up, I
+     may be a president's wife; if so, I will buy an elephant.
+
+     "Your affectionate sister,
+
+     "ROSA LOVEL."
+
+     "I send kisses to all the people in Boston that love you."
+
+How gladly would Laura, had it been in her power, have made every
+purchase mentioned in the letters of the two innocent little girls! And
+her heart swelled and her eyes overflowed, when she thought how happy
+she might have made them at a small part of the expense she had been
+persuaded to lavish on the finery that had given her so little pleasure,
+and that was now nearly all spoiled.
+
+Next day was Sunday; and they went to church and heard Mr. Taylor, the
+celebrated mariner clergyman, with whose deep pathos and simple good
+sense Laura was much interested, while she was at the same time amused
+with his originality and quaintness.
+
+On returning to the hotel, they found that the morning boat had arrived,
+and on looking up at the veranda, the first object Laura saw there was
+Pyam Dodge, standing stiffly with his hands on the railing.
+
+"Miss Lovel," said Augusta, "there's your friend, the schoolmaster."
+
+"Mercy upon us," screamed Miss Frampton, "has that horrid fellow come
+after you? Really, Miss Lovel, it was in very bad taste to invite him to
+Nahant."
+
+"I did not invite him," replied Laura, colouring; "I know not how he
+discovered that I was here."
+
+"The only way, then," said Miss Frampton, "is to cut him dead, and then
+perhaps he'll clear off."
+
+"Pho," said Augusta, "do you suppose he can understand cutting? why he
+won't know whether he's cut or not."
+
+"May I ask who this person is?" said Aubrey Maitland, in a low voice, to
+Laura. "Is there any stain or any suspicion attached to him?"
+
+"Oh! no, indeed," replied Laura, earnestly. And, in a few words, as they
+ascended the stairs, she gave him an outline of the schoolmaster and his
+character.
+
+"Then do not cut him at all," said Aubrey. "Let me take the liberty of
+suggesting to you how to receive him." They had now come out into the
+veranda, and Maitland immediately led Laura up to Pyam Dodge, who bowed
+profoundly on being introduced to him, and then turned to our heroine,
+asked permission to shake hands with her, hoped his company would be
+found agreeable, and signified that he had been unable to learn where
+she was from Mr. Brantley's servants; but that the evening before, a
+gentleman of Boston had told him that Mr. Brantley and all the family
+were at Nahant. Therefore, he had come thither to-day purposely to see
+her, and to inform her that the summer vacation having commenced, he was
+going to pay a visit to his old friends at Rosebrook, and would be very
+thankful if she would honour him with a letter or message to her family.
+
+All this was said with much bowing, and prosing, and apologizing. When
+it was finished, Maitland invited Pyam Dodge to take a turn round the
+veranda with Miss Lovel and himself, and the poor schoolmaster expressed
+the most profound gratitude. When they were going to dinner, Aubrey
+introduced him to Mrs. Maitland, placed him next to himself at table,
+and engaged him in a conversation on the Greek classics, in which Pyam
+Dodge, finding himself precisely in his element, forgot his humility,
+and being less embarrassed, was therefore less awkward and absurd than
+usual.
+
+Laura Lovel had thought Aubrey Maitland the handsomest and most elegant
+young man she had ever seen. She now thought him the most amiable.
+
+In the afternoon, there was a mirage, in which the far-off rocks in the
+vicinity of Marblehead appeared almost in the immediate neighbourhood of
+Nahant, coming out in full relief, their forms and colours well-defined,
+and their height and breadth seemingly much increased. While all the
+company were assembled to look at this singular optical phenomenon
+(Aubrey Maitland being earnestly engaged in explaining it to our
+heroine), Miss Frampton whispered to Laura that she wished particularly
+to speak with her, and accordingly drew her away to another part of the
+veranda.
+
+Laura turned pale, for she had a presentiment of what was coming. Miss
+Frampton then told her, that presuming she had heard from home, she
+concluded that it would, of course, be convenient to return the trifle
+she had lent her; adding, that she wished to give a small commission to
+a lady that was going to town the next morning.
+
+Poor Laura knew not what to say. She changed colour, trembled with
+nervous agitation, and at last faltered out that, in consequence of
+knowing her father was from home, she had not yet written to him on the
+subject, but that she would do so immediately, and hoped Miss Frampton
+would not find it very inconvenient to wait a few days.
+
+"Why, really, I don't know how I can," replied Miss Frampton; "I want a
+shawl exactly like Mrs. Horton's. She tells me they are only to be had
+at one store in Boston, and that when she got hers the other day, there
+were only two left. They are really quite a new style, strange as it is
+to see anything in Boston that is not quite old-fashioned in
+Philadelphia. The money I lent you is precisely the sum for this
+purpose. Of course, I am in no want of a shawl--thank Heaven, I have
+more than I know what to do with--but, as I told you, these are quite a
+new style--"
+
+"Oh! how gladly would I pay you, if I could!" exclaimed Laura, covering
+her face with her hands. "What would I give at this moment for
+twenty-five dollars!"
+
+"I hope I am not inconvenient," said the voice of Pyam Dodge, close at
+Laura's back; "but I have been looking for Miss Laura Lovel, that I may
+take my leave, and return to town in the next boat."
+
+Miss Frampton tossed her head and walked away, to tell Mrs. Horton,
+confidentially, that Miss Lovel had borrowed twenty-five dollars of her
+to buy finery; but not to add that she had just been asking her for
+payment.
+
+"If I may venture to use such freedom," pursued Pyam Dodge, "I think,
+Miss Laura Lovel, I overheard you just now grieving that you could not
+pay some money. Now, my good child (if you will forgive me for calling
+you so), why should you be at any loss for money, when I have just
+received my quarter's salary, and when I have more about me than I know
+what to do with? I heard you mention twenty-five dollars--here it is
+(taking some notes out of an enormous pocket-book), and if you want any
+more, as I hope you do--"
+
+"Oh! no, indeed--no," interrupted Laura. "I cannot take it; I would not
+on any consideration."
+
+"I know too well," continued Pyam Dodge, "I am not worthy to offer it,
+and I hope I am not making myself disagreeable. But if, Miss Laura
+Lovel, you would only have the goodness to accept it, you may be sure I
+will never ask you for it as long as I live. I would even take a
+book-oath not to do so."
+
+Laura steadily refused the proffered kindness of the poor schoolmaster,
+and begged Pyam Dodge to mention the subject to her no more. She told
+him that all she now wished was to go home, and that she would write by
+him to her family, begging that her father would come for her (as he had
+promised at parting) and take her back to Rosebrook, as soon as he
+could. She quitted Pyam Dodge, who was evidently much mortified, and
+retired to write her letter, which she gave to him as soon as it was
+finished, finding him in the hall taking a ceremonious leave of the
+Maitlands. He departed, and Laura's spirits were gradually revived
+during the evening by the gratifying attentions and agreeable
+conversation of Mrs. Maitland and her son.
+
+When our heroine retired for the night, she found on her table a letter
+in a singularly uncouth hand, if hand it could be called, where every
+word was differently written. It enclosed two ten dollar notes and a
+five, and was conceived in the following words:
+
+"This is to inform Miss Laura, eldest daughter of the Reverend Edward
+Lovel, of Rosebrook, Massachusetts, that an unknown friend of hers,
+whose name it will be impossible for her to guess (and therefore to make
+the attempt will doubtless be entire loss of time, and time is always
+precious), having accidentally heard (though by what means is a profound
+secret) that she, at this present time, is in some little difficulty for
+want of a small sum of money, he, therefore, this unknown friend, offers
+to her acceptance the before-mentioned sum, hoping that she will find
+nothing disgusting in his using so great a liberty."
+
+"Oh! poor Pyam Dodge!" exclaimed Laura, "why did you take the trouble to
+disguise and disfigure your excellent handwriting?" And she felt, after
+all, what a relief it was to transfer her debt from Miss Frampton to the
+good schoolmaster. Reluctant to have any further personal discussion on
+this painful subject, she enclosed the notes in a short billet to Miss
+Frampton, and sent it immediately to that lady's apartment. She then
+went to bed, comparatively happy, slept soundly, and dreamed of Aubrey
+Maitland.
+
+About the end of the week, Laura Lovel was delighted to see her father
+arrive with Mr. Brantley. As soon as they were alone, she threw herself
+into his arms, and with a flood of tears explained to him the
+particulars of all that passed since she left home, and deeply lamented
+that she had allowed herself to be drawn into expenses beyond her means
+of defraying, and which her father could ill afford to supply, to say
+nothing of the pain and mortification they had occasioned to herself.
+
+"My beloved child," said Mr. Lovel, "I have been much to blame for
+intrusting you at an age so early and inexperienced, and with no
+knowledge of a town-life and its habits, to the guidance and example of
+a family of whom I knew nothing, except that they were reputable and
+opulent."
+
+Mr. Lovel then gave his daughter the agreeable intelligence that the
+tract of land which was the object of his visit to Maine, and which had
+been left him in his youth by an old aunt, and was then considered of
+little or no account, had greatly increased in value by a new and
+flourishing town having sprung up in its immediate vicinity. This tract
+he had recently been able to sell for ten thousand dollars, and the
+interest of that sum would now make a most acceptable addition to his
+little income.
+
+He also informed her that Pyam Dodge was then at the village of
+Rosebrook, where he was "visiting round," as he called it, and that the
+good schoolmaster had faithfully kept the secret of the twenty-five
+dollars which he had pressed upon Laura, and which Mr. Lovel had now
+heard, for the first time, from herself.
+
+While this conversation was going on between the father and daughter,
+Mrs. Maitland and her son were engaged in discussing the beauty and the
+apparent merits of our heroine. "I should like extremely," said Mrs.
+Maitland, "to invite Miss Lovel to pass the winter with me. But, you
+know, we live much in the world, and I fear the limited state of her
+father's finances could not allow her to appear as she would wish. Yet,
+perhaps, I might manage to assist her in that respect, without wounding
+her delicacy. I think with regret of so fair a flower being 'born to
+blush unseen, and waste its sweetness on the desert air.'"
+
+"There is one way," said Aubrey Maitland, smiling and colouring, "by
+which we might have Miss Lovel to spend next winter in Boston, without
+any danger of offending her delicacy, or subjecting her to embarrassment
+on account of her personal expenses--a way which would enable her to
+appear as she deserves, and to move in a sphere that she is so well
+calculated to adorn, though not as _Miss Lovel_."
+
+"I cannot but understand you, Aubrey," replied Mrs. Maitland, who had
+always been not only the mother, but the sympathizing and confidential
+friend of her son--"yet be not too precipitate. Know more of this young
+lady, before you go so far that you cannot in honour recede."
+
+"I know her sufficiently," said Aubrey, with animation. "She is to be
+understood at once, and though I flatter myself that I may have already
+excited some interest in her heart, yet I have no reason to suppose
+that she entertains for me such feelings as would induce her at this
+time to accept my offer. She is extremely anxious to get home; she may
+have left a lover there. But let me be once assured that her affections
+are disengaged, and that she is really inclined to bestow them on me,
+and a declaration shall immediately follow the discovery. A man who,
+after being convinced of the regard of the woman he loves, can trifle
+with her feelings, and hesitate about securing her hand, does not
+deserve to obtain her."
+
+Laura had few preparations to make for her departure, which took place
+the next morning, Aubrey Maitland and Mr. Brantley accompanying her and
+her father to town, in the early boat. Mrs. Maitland took leave of her
+affectionately, Mrs. Brantley smilingly, Augusta coldly, and Miss
+Frampton not at all.
+
+Mr. Lovel and his daughter passed that day in Boston, staying at a
+hotel. Laura showed her father the children's letter. All the books that
+Ella mentioned were purchased for her, and quite a little menagerie of
+animals was procured for Rosa.
+
+They arrived safely at Rosebrook. And when Mr. Lovel was invoking a
+blessing on their evening repast, he referred to the return of his
+daughter, and to his happiness on seeing her once more in her accustomed
+seat at table, in a manner that drew tears into the eyes of every member
+of the family.
+
+Pyam Dodge was there, only waiting for Laura's arrival, to set out next
+morning on a visit to his relations in Vermont. With his usual want of
+tact, and his usual kindness of heart, he made so many objections to
+receiving the money with which he had accommodated our heroine, that Mr.
+Lovel was obliged to slip it privately into his trunk before his
+departure.
+
+In a few days, Aubrey Maitland came to Rosebrook and established himself
+at the principal inn, from whence he visited Laura the evening of his
+arrival. Next day he came both morning and evening. On the third day he
+paid her three visits, and after that it was not worth while to count
+them.
+
+The marriage of Aubrey and Laura took place at the close of the autumn,
+and they immediately went into the possession of an elegant residence of
+their own, adjoining the mansion of the elder Mrs. Maitland. They are
+now living in as much happiness as can fall to the lot of human beings.
+
+Before the Nahant season was over, Miss Frampton had quarrelled with or
+offended nearly every lady at the hotel, and Mr. Brantley privately
+insisted that his wife should not invite her to pass the winter with
+them. However, she protracted her stay as long as she possibly could,
+with any appearance of decency, and then returned to Philadelphia, under
+the escort of one of Mr. Brantley's clerks. After she came home, her
+visit to Boston afforded her a new subject of conversation, in which the
+predominant features were general ridicule of the Yankees (as she called
+them), circumstantial slanders of the family to whose hospitality she
+had been indebted for more than three months, and particular abuse of
+"that little wretch Augusta."
+
+
+
+
+JOHN W. ROBERTSON.
+
+A TALE OF A CENT.
+
+     "Some there be that shadows kiss."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Selina Mansel was only sixteen when she took charge of her father's
+house, and he delegated to her the arduous task of doing as she pleased:
+provided always that she duly attended to his chief injunction, never to
+allow herself to incur a debt, however trifling, and to purchase nothing
+that she could not pay for on the spot. To the observance of this rule,
+which he had laid down for himself in early life, Mr. Mansel attributed
+all his success in business, and his ability to retire at the age of
+fifty with a handsome competence.
+
+Since the death of his wife, Mr. Mansel's sister had presided over his
+family, and had taken much interest in instructing Selina in what she
+justly termed the most useful part of a woman's education. Such was Miss
+Eleanor Mansel's devotion to her brother and his daughter, that she had
+hesitated for twelve years about returning an intelligible answer to the
+love-letters which she received quarterly from Mr. Waitstill Wonderly, a
+gentleman whose dwelling-place was in the far, far east. Every two years
+this paragon of patience came in person: his home being at a distance of
+several hundred miles, and his habits by no means so itinerant as those
+of the generality of his countrymen.
+
+On his sixth avatar, Miss Mansel consented to reward with her hand the
+constancy of her inamorato; as Selina had, within the last twelvemonth,
+made up two pieces of linen for her father, prepared the annual quantity
+of pickles and preserves, and superintended two house-cleanings, all
+herself--thus giving proof positive that she was fully competent to
+succeed her aunt Eleanor as mistress of the establishment.
+
+Selina Mansel was a very good and a very pretty girl. Though living in a
+large and flourishing provincial town, which we shall denominate
+Somerford, she had been brought up in comparative retirement, and had
+scarcely yet begun to go into company, as it is called. Her
+understanding was naturally excellent; but she was timid, sensitive,
+easily disconcerted, and likely to appear to considerable disadvantage
+in any situation that was the least embarrassing.
+
+About two months after the departure of Mr. and Mrs. Wonderly, the whole
+borough of Somerford was thrown into commotion by the unexpected arrival
+of an old townsman, who had made his fortune in New Orleans. This person
+was called in his youth Jack Robinson. After twenty years of successful
+adventure, he now returned as John W. Robertson, Esq., and concluded to
+astonish for a while the natives of his own birth-place, and perhaps
+pass the summer among them. Therefore, he took two of the best
+apartments in the chief hotel; and having grown very tired of old
+bachelorship, and entertaining a great predilection for all the
+productions of his native town, he determined to select a wife from
+among the belles of Somerford.
+
+Now Mr. Robertson was a man in whose face and figure the most amiable
+portrait-painter could have found nothing to commend. He was not what is
+called a fine-looking man, for though sufficiently tall, he was gaunt
+and ill-proportioned. He was not a handsome man, for every feature was
+ugly; and his complexion, as well as his hair, was all of one
+ash-colour; though his eyes were much lighter than his skin. He was
+fully aware of his deficiency in beauty; but it was some consolation to
+him that he had been a very pretty baby, as he frequently took occasion
+to mention. With all this, he was extremely ambitious of marrying a
+beautiful woman, and resolutely determined that she should "love him for
+himself alone." Though in the habit of talking ostentatiously of his
+wealth, yet he sometimes considered this wealth as a sort of thorn in
+his path to matrimony; for he could not avoid the intrusion of a very
+uncomfortable surmise, that were he still poor Jack Robinson, he would
+undoubtedly be "cut dead" by the same ladies who were now assiduously
+angling for a word or a look from John W. Robertson, Esq. It is true
+that, being habitually cautious, he proceeded warily, and dispensed his
+notice to the ladies with much economy, finding that, in the words of
+charity advertisements, "the smallest donations were thankfully
+received."
+
+Having once read a novel, and it being one in which the heroine blushes
+all through the book, he concluded that confusion and suffusion were
+infallible signs of love, and that whenever the bloom on a lady's cheeks
+deepens at the sight of a gentleman, there can be no doubt of the
+sincerity and disinterestedness of her regard, and that she certainly
+loves him for himself alone. Adopting this theory, Mr. Robertson
+determined not to owe his success to any adventitious circumstances; and
+he accordingly disdained that attention to his toilet usually observed
+by gentlemen in the Coelebs line. Therefore, as the season was summer,
+he walked about all the morning in a long loose gown of broad-striped
+gingham, buckskin shoes, and an enormous Leghorn hat, the brim turned up
+behind and down before. In the afternoon, his flying joseph was
+exchanged for a round jacket of sea-grass: and in the evening he
+generally appeared in a seersucker coat. But he was invited everywhere.
+
+The mothers flattered him, and the daughters smiled on him, yet still he
+saw no blushes. He looked in vain for the "sweet confusion, rosy
+terror," which he supposed to be always evinced by a young lady in the
+presence of the man of her heart. The young ladies that _he_ met with,
+had all their wits about them; and if on seeing him they covered their
+faces, it was only to giggle behind their fans. Instead of shrinking
+modestly back at his approach, they followed him everywhere; and he has
+more than once been seen perambulating the main street of Somerford at
+the head of half a dozen young ladies, like a locomotive engine drawing
+a train of cars.
+
+With the exception of two professed novel-readers who treated our hero
+with ill-concealed contempt, because they could find in him no
+resemblance to Lord St. Orville or to Thaddeus of Warsaw, Selina Mansel
+was almost the only lady in Somerford that took Mr. Robertson quietly.
+The truth was, she never thought of him at all: and it was this evident
+indifference, so strikingly contrasted with the unremitting solicitude
+of her companions, that first attracted his attention towards Selina,
+rather than her superiority in beauty or accomplishments; for Miss
+Madderlake had redder cheeks, Miss Tightscrew a smaller waist, Miss
+Deathscream sung louder, and Miss Twirlfoot danced higher.
+
+Selina Mansel was the youngest of the Somerford belles, and had scarcely
+yet come out. It never entered her mind that a man of Mr. Robertson's
+age could think of marrying a girl of sixteen. How little she knew of
+old bachelors!
+
+Having always heard herself termed "the child," by her father and her
+aunt, she still retained the habit of considering herself as such; and
+strange to tell, the idea of a lover had not yet found its way into her
+head or her heart. Accordingly, on meeting Mr. Robertson for the first
+time (it was at a small party), she thought she passed the evening
+pleasantly enough in sitting between two matrons, and hearing from them
+the praises of her aunt Wonderly's notability--accompanied by numerous
+suggestions of improvements in confectionery, and in the management of
+servants; these hints being kindly intended for her benefit as a young
+housekeeper.
+
+Mr. Robertson, who proceeded cautiously in everything, after gazing at
+Selina across the room, satisfied himself that she was very handsome and
+very unaffected, and requested an introduction to her from the gentleman
+of the house, adding--"But not just now--any time in the course of the
+evening. You know, when ladies are in question, it is very impolitic in
+gentlemen to show too much eagerness."
+
+The introduction eventually took place, and Mr. Robertson talked of the
+weather, then of the westerly winds, which he informed Selina were
+favourable to vessels going out to Europe, but dead ahead to those that
+were coming home. He then commenced a long story about the very
+profitable voyage of one of his ships, but told it in language
+unintelligible to any but a merchant.
+
+Selina grew very tired, and having tried to listen quite as long as she
+thought due to civility, she renewed her conversation with one of the
+ladies that sat beside her, and Mr. Robertson, in some vexation, turned
+away and carried his dullness to the other end of the room, where pretty
+Miss Holdhimfast sat, the image of delighted attention, her eyes smiling
+with pleasure, and her lips parted in intense interest, while he talked
+to her of assorted cargoes, bills of lading, and customhouse bonds. At
+times, he looked round, over his shoulder, to see if Selina evinced any
+discomposure at his quitting her--but he perceived no signs of it.
+
+Mr. Mansel having renewed his acquaintance with Mr. Robertson, our hero
+called next morning to pay a visit to the father of Selina, though his
+chief motive was the expectation of seeing the young lady, who since the
+preceding evening had occupied as much of his mind and thoughts as a
+thorough-going business man ever devotes to a woman.
+
+Selina was in the parlour, and sat quietly at her sewing, not perceiving
+that, though Mr. Robertson talked to her father all the time about the
+Bank of the United States, he looked almost continually at her. On
+hearing the clock strike, she rose, put up her work, and repaired to her
+own room--recollecting that it was her day for writing to Mrs. Wonderly,
+and that the mail would close in two hours, which Selina had always
+found the shortest possible time for filling a large sheet of paper
+closely written--such being the missive that she despatched every week
+to her beloved aunt.
+
+Mr. Robertson, after prolonging his visit to an unreasonable period,
+departed in no very good humour at Selina's not returning to the
+parlour: for though he saw through the designs of the other ladies, he
+was somewhat piqued that our young and handsome heroine should have no
+design at all.
+
+In the afternoon Selina went out on a shopping expedition. Mr. Robertson
+happened to overtake her, and she looked so very pretty, and tripped
+along so lightly and gracefully, that he could not refrain from joining
+her, instead of making his bow and passing on, as had been his first
+intention.
+
+In the course of conversation, Selina was informed by Mr. Robertson
+(who, though no longer in business, still made the price-current his
+daily study) that, by the last advices from New York, tallow was calm,
+and hides were drooping--that pots were lively, and that pearls were
+looking up; and that there was a better feeling towards mackerel.
+
+He accompanied Selina to the principal fancy-store, and when the young
+lady had completed her purchases, and had been persuaded by Mr.
+Stretchlace to take several additional articles, she found, on examining
+her purse, that she had nearly exhausted its contents, and that even
+with putting all her small change together, she still wanted one cent.
+Mr. Stretchlace assured her that he considered a cent as of no
+consequence; but Selina, who had been brought up in the strictest ideas
+of integrity, replied that, as she had agreed to pay as much for the
+article as he had asked her, she could not allow him to lose a single
+farthing. Mr. Stretchlace smiled, and reminded her that she could easily
+stop in and give him the cent, at any time when she happened to be
+passing his store. Selina, recollecting her father's rule of never going
+in debt to a shopkeeper, even to the most trifling amount, proposed
+leaving a pair of gloves (her last purchase) till she came again. Mr.
+Robertson, to put an end to the difficulty, took a cent from his purse,
+and requested permission to lend it to Miss Mansel. Selina coloured, but
+after some hesitation accepted the loan, resolving to repay it
+immediately. Having this intention on her mind, she was rather glad when
+she found that Mr. Robertson intended walking home with her, as it would
+give her an opportunity of liquidating the debt--and he entertained her
+on the way with the history of a transaction in uplands, and another in
+sea-islands.
+
+They arrived at Mr. Mansel's door, and her companion was taking his
+leave, when Selina, thinking only of the cent, asked him if he would not
+come in. Of course, she had no motive but to induce him to wait till she
+had procured the little coin in question. He found the invitation too
+flattering to be resisted, and smirkingly followed her into the front
+parlour. Selina was disappointed at not finding her father there.
+Desiring Mr. Robertson to excuse her for a moment, she went to her own
+room in quest of some change--but found nothing less than a five dollar
+note.
+
+A young lady of more experience and more self-possession, would, at
+once, have thought of extricating herself from the dilemma by applying
+to one of the servants for the loan of a cent; but at this time no such
+idea entered Selina's head. Therefore, calling Ovid, her black man, she
+despatched him with the note to get changed, and then returned herself
+to the parlour.
+
+Taking her seat near the centre-table, Selina endeavoured to engage her
+guest in conversation, lest he should go away without his money. But,
+too little accustomed to the world and its contingencies to feel at all
+at her ease on this occasion, not having courage to mention the cent,
+and afraid every moment that Mr. Robertson would rise to take his leave,
+she became more and more embarrassed, sat uneasily on her chair, kept
+her eyes on the floor, except when she stole glances at her visiter to
+see if he showed any symptoms of departure, and looked frequently
+towards the door, hoping the arrival of Ovid.
+
+Unconscious of what she was doing, our heroine took a camellia japonica
+from a vase that stood on the table, and having smelled it a dozen
+times (though it is a flower that has no perfume) she began to pick it
+to pieces. Mr. Robertson stopped frequently in the midst of a long story
+about a speculation in sperm oil, his attention being continually
+engaged by the evident perturbation of the young lady. But when he saw
+her picking to pieces the camellia which she had pressed to her nose and
+to her lips, he was taken with a sudden access of gallantry, and
+stalking up to her, and awkwardly stretching out his hand at arm's
+length, he said, in a voice intended to be very sweet--"Miss Mansel,
+will you favour me with that flower?"
+
+Selina, not thinking of what she did, hastily dropped the camellia into
+his out-spread palm, and ran to meet her servant Ovid, whom she saw at
+that moment coming into the house. She stopped him in the hall, and
+eagerly held out her hand, while Ovid slowly and carefully counted into
+it, one by one, ten half dollars, telling her that he had been nearly
+all over town with the note, as "change is always _scace_ of an
+afternoon."
+
+"How vexatious!" said Selina, in a low voice--"You have brought me no
+cents. It was particularly a cent that I wanted--a cent above all
+things. Did I not tell you so?--I am sure I thought I did."
+
+Ovid persisted in declaring that she had merely desired him to get the
+note changed, and that he thought "nobody needn't wish for better change
+than all big silver,"--but feeling in his pocket, he said "he believed,
+if Miss Selina would let him, he could lend her a cent." However, after
+searching all his pockets, he found only a quarter of a dollar. "But,"
+added he, "I can go in the kitchen and ax if the women hav'n't got no
+coppers. Ah! Miss Selina--your departed aunt always kept her pocket
+full."
+
+Selina then desired him to go immediately and inquire for a cent among
+the women. She then returned to the parlour, and Mr. Robertson, having
+nothing more to say, rose to take his leave. During her absence from the
+room, he had torn off the back of a letter, folded in it the
+half-demolished camellia japonica, and deposited it in his waistcoat
+pocket.
+
+Selina begged him to stay a few minutes longer, and she went into the
+kitchen to inquire in person about the cent.
+
+"Apparently," thought Robertson, "she finds it hard to part with me. And
+certainly she _has_ seemed confused and agitated, during the whole of my
+visit."
+
+On making her inquiry among the denizens of the kitchen, Selina found
+that none of the women had any probable coppers, excepting Violet, the
+black cook, who was fat and lame, and who intended, as soon as she had
+done making some cakes for tea, to ascend to her attic, and search for
+one among her hoards.
+
+"La! Miss Selina," said Violet, "what can put you in such a pheeze about
+a cent?"
+
+"I have borrowed a cent of Mr. Robertson," replied Selina, "and I wish
+to return it immediately."
+
+"Well, now, if ever!" exclaimed Violet; "why, if that's all, I count it
+the same as nothing, and samer. To be sure he is too much of a gentleman
+to take a cent from a lady. Why, what's a cent?"
+
+"I hope," replied Selina, "that he is too much of a gentleman to
+_refuse_ to take it."
+
+"I lay you what you please," resumed Violet, "that if you go to offer
+him that cent, you'll 'front him out of the house. Why, when any of us
+borrows a copper of Ovid, we never thinks of paying him."
+
+"True enough," said Ovid, half aside; "and that's the reason I most
+always take care never to have no coppers about me."
+
+Selina now heard her father's voice in the parlour; and glad that he had
+come home, she hastened to obtain from him the much-desired coin. She
+found him earnestly engaged in discussing the Bank of the United States
+to Mr. Robertson, who was on the verge of departure. She went softly
+behind her father, and in a low voice asked him for a cent; but he was
+talking so busily that he did not hear her. She repeated the request.
+"Presently--presently," said Mr. Mansel, "another time will do as well."
+Mr. Robertson then made his parting bow to Selina, who, disconcerted at
+being baffled in all her attempts to get rid of her little debt,
+coloured excessively, and could not make an articulate reply to his
+"Good afternoon, Miss Mansel."
+
+When her father returned from escorting his guest to the door, he
+recollected her request, and said--"What were you asking me, Selina? I
+think I heard you say something about money. But never interrupt me when
+I am talking of the bank."
+
+Selina then made her explanation.
+
+"You know," replied Mr. Mansel, "that I have always told you to avoid a
+debt as you would a sin; and I have also cautioned you never to allow
+yourself to be without all the varieties of small change."
+
+He then gave her a handful of this convenient article, including half a
+dozen cents, saying, "There, now, do not forget to pay Mr. Robertson the
+first time you see him."
+
+"Certainly, I will not forget it," replied Selina; "for, trifle as it
+is, I shall not feel at peace while it remains on my mind."
+
+On the following afternoon Selina went out with her father to take a
+ride on horseback; and when they returned they found on the centre table
+the card of John W. Robertson. "Another _contre-tems_," cried Selina.
+"He has been here again, and I have not seen him to pay him the cent!"
+
+"Send it to him by Ovid," said Mr. Mansel.
+
+"_Send_ such a trifle to a gentleman!" exclaimed Selina.
+
+"Certainly," replied her father. "Even in the smallest trifles, it is
+best to be correct and punctual. You know I have always told you so."
+
+Selina left the room for the purpose of despatching Ovid with the cent,
+but Ovid had gone out on some affairs of his own, and when she returned
+to the parlour she found two young ladies there, whose visit was not
+over till nearly dusk. By that time Ovid was engaged in setting the
+tea-table; a business from which nothing could ever withdraw him till
+all its details were slowly and minutely accomplished.
+
+"It will be time enough after tea," said Selina, who, like most young
+housekeepers, was somewhat in awe of her servants. When tea was over
+both in parlour and kitchen (and by the members of the lower house that
+business was never accomplished without a long session), Ovid was
+despatched to the hotel with "Miss Mansel's compliments to Mr.
+Robertson, and the cent that she had borrowed of him." It was long
+before Ovid came back, and he then brought word that Mr. Robertson was
+out, but that he had left the cent with Mr. Muddler, the barkeeper.
+
+"Of course," said Selina, "the barkeeper will give it to Mr. Robertson
+as soon as he returns."
+
+"I have my doubts," replied Ovid.
+
+"Why?" asked Selina; "why should you suppose otherwise?"
+
+"Because," answered Ovid, "Mr. Muddler is a very doubty sort of man.
+That is, he's always to be doubted of. I lived at the hotel once, and I
+know all about him. He don't mind trifles, and he never remembers
+nothing. I guess Mr. Robertson won't be apt to get the cent: for afore I
+left the bar, I saw Muddler give it away in change to a man that came
+for a glass of punch. And I'm sure that Muddler won't never think no
+more about it. I could be as good as qualified that he won't."
+
+"How very provoking!" cried Selina.
+
+"You should have sealed it up in a piece of paper, and directed it to
+Mr. Robertson," said her father, raising his eyes from the newspaper in
+which he had been absorbed for the last hour. "Whatever is to be done at
+all, should always be done thoroughly."
+
+"Yes, miss," said Ovid, "you know that's what your departed aunt always
+told you: partikaly when you were stoning reasons for plum-cake."
+
+Selina was now at a complete loss what course to pursue. The cent was in
+itself a trifle; but there had been so much difficulty about it, that it
+seemed to have swelled into an object of importance: and from this time
+her repugnance to speaking of it to Mr. Robertson, or to any one else,
+became almost insurmountable.
+
+On the following morning, her father told her that he had met Mr.
+Robertson at the Post Office, and had been told by him that he should do
+himself the pleasure of making a morning call. "Therefore, Selina, I
+shall leave you to entertain him," said Mr. Mansel, "for I have made an
+appointment with Mr. Thinwall this morning, to go with him to look at a
+block of houses he is anxious to sell me."
+
+Selina repaired to her room to get her sewing: and taking a cent from
+her purse, she laid it in her work-basket and went down stairs to be
+ready for the visit of Mr. Robertson. While waiting for him, she
+happened to look at the cent, and perceived that it was one of the very
+earliest coinage, the date being 1793. She had heard these cents
+described, but had never before seen one. The head of Liberty was
+characterized by the lawless freedom of her hair, the flakes of which
+were all flying wildly back from her forehead and cheek, and seemed to
+be blowing away in a strong north-wester; and she carried over her
+shoulder a staff surmounted with a cap. On the reverse, there was
+(instead of the olive wreath) a circular chain, whose links signified
+the union of the States. Our heroine was making a collection of curious
+coins, and she was so strongly tempted by the opportunity of adding this
+to the number, that she determined on keeping it for that purpose. She
+was just rising to go up stairs and get another as a substitute, when
+Mr. Robertson entered the parlour.
+
+Selina was glad to see him, hoping that this visit would make a final
+settlement of the eternal cent. But she was also struck with the idea
+that it would be very awkward to ask him if the barkeeper had given him
+the one she had transmitted to him the evening before. She feared that
+the gentleman might reply in the affirmative, even if he had not really
+received it, and she felt a persuasion that it had entirely escaped the
+memory of Mr. Muddler. Not having sufficient self-possession to help her
+out of the difficulty, she hastily slipped the old cent back into her
+work-basket, and looked confused and foolish, and answered incoherently
+to Mr. Robertson's salutation. He saw her embarrassment, and augured
+favourably from it: but he cautiously determined not to allow himself to
+proceed too rapidly.
+
+He commenced the conversation by informing her that sugars had declined
+a shade, but that coffee was active, and cotton firm; and he then prosed
+off into a long mercantile story, of which Selina heard and understood
+nothing: her ideas, when in presence of Mr. Robertson, being now unable
+to take any other form than that of a piece of copper.
+
+Longing to go for another cent, and regretting that she had not brought
+down her purse, she sat uneasy and disconcerted: the delighted Robertson
+pausing in the midst of his tierces of rice, seroons of indigo, carboys
+of tar, and quintals of codfish, to look at the heightened colour of her
+cheek, and to give it the interpretation he most desired.
+
+Selina had never thought him so tiresome. Just then came in Miss
+Peepabout and Miss Doublesight, who, having seen Mr. Robertson through
+the window, had a curiosity to ascertain what he was saying and doing at
+Mr. Mansel's. These two ladies were our hero's peculiar aversion, as
+they had both presumed to lay siege to him, notwithstanding that they
+were neither young nor handsome. Therefore, he rose immediately and took
+his leave: though Selina, in the hope of still finding an opportunity to
+discharge her debt, said to him, anxiously: "Do not go yet, Mr.
+Robertson." This request nearly elevated the lover to paradise, but not
+wishing to spoil her by too much compliance, he persevered in departing.
+
+That evening Selina met him at a party given by Mrs. Vincent, one of the
+leading ladies of Somerford. Thinking of this possibility, and the idea
+of Mr. Robertson and a cent having now become synonymous, our heroine
+tied a bright new one in the corner of her pocket-handkerchief,
+determined to go fully prepared for an opportunity of presenting it to
+him. When, on arriving at Mrs. Vincent's house, she was shown to the
+ladies' room, Selina discovered that the cent had vanished, having
+slipped out from its fastening; and after an ineffectual search on the
+floor and on the staircase, she concluded that she must have dropped it
+in the street. The night was very fine, and Mrs. Vincent's residence was
+so near her father's, that Selina had walked thither, and Mr. Mansel
+(who had no relish for parties), after conducting her into the principal
+room, and paying his compliments to the hostess, had slipped off, and
+returned home to seek a quiet game of backgammon with his next-door
+neighbour, telling his daughter that he would come for her at eleven
+o'clock.
+
+Our heroine was dressed with much taste, and looked unusually well. Mr.
+Robertson's inclination would have led him to attach himself to Selina
+for the whole evening; but convinced of the depth and sincerity of her
+regard (as he perceived that she now never saw him without blushing), he
+deemed it politic to hold back, and not allow himself to be considered
+too cheap a conquest. Therefore, after making his bow, and informing her
+that soap was heavy, but that raisins were animated, and that there was
+a good feeling towards Havana cigars, he withdrew to the opposite side
+of the room.
+
+But though he divided his tediousness pretty equally among the other
+ladies, he could not prevent his eyes from wandering almost incessantly
+towards Selina, particularly when he perceived a remarkably handsome
+young man, Henry Wynslade, engaged in a very lively conversation with
+her. Mr. Wynslade, who had recently returned from India, lodged, for the
+present, at the hotel in which Robertson had located himself;
+consequently, our hero had some acquaintance with him.
+
+Mrs. Vincent having taken away Wynslade to introduce him to her niece,
+Mr. Robertson immediately strode across the room, and presented himself
+in front of Selina. To do him justice, he had entirely forgotten the
+cent: and he meant not the most distant allusion to it, when, at the end
+of a long narrative about a very close and fortunate bargain he had once
+made in rough turpentine, he introduced the well-known adages of "a
+penny saved is a penny got," and "take care of the pence and the pounds
+will take care of themselves."
+
+"Pence and cents are nearly the same," thought the conscious Selina. She
+had on her plate some of the little printed rhymes that, being
+accompanied by bonbons, and enveloped in coloured paper, go under the
+denomination of secrets or mottoes. These delectable distichs were most
+probably the leisure effusions of the poet kept by Mr. and Mrs.
+Packwood, of razor-strop celebrity, and from their ludicrous silliness
+frequently cause much diversion among the younger part of the company.
+
+In her confusion on hearing Mr. Robertson talk of pence, Selina began to
+distribute her mottoes among the ladies in her vicinity, and, without
+looking at it, she unthinkingly presented one to her admirer, as he
+stood stiff before her. A moment after he was led away by Mr. Vincent,
+to be introduced to a stranger: and in a short time the company
+adjourned to the supper-room.
+
+The ladies were all seated, and the gentlemen were standing round, and
+Selina was not aware of her proximity to Mr. Robertson till she
+overheard him say to young Wynslade--"A most extraordinary circumstance
+has happened to me this evening."
+
+"What is it?" cried Wynslade.
+
+"I have received a declaration."
+
+"A declaration! Of what?"
+
+"I have indeed," pursued Robertson, "a declaration of love. To be sure,
+I have been somewhat prepared for it. When a lady blushes, and shows
+evident signs of confusion, whenever she meets a gentleman, there is
+good reason to believe that her heart is really touched. Is there not?"
+
+"I suppose so," said Wynslade, smiling.
+
+"You conclude then that the lady must love him for himself, and not for
+his property?" inquired Robertson.
+
+"Ladies who are influenced only by mercenary considerations," replied
+Wynslade, "seldom feel much embarrassment in the presence of any
+gentleman."
+
+"There is no forcing a blush--is there?" asked Robertson.
+
+"I should think not," answered Wynslade, wondering to what all this
+would tend.
+
+"To tell you a secret," resumed Robertson, "I have proof positive that I
+have made a serious impression on a very beautiful young lady. You need
+not smile, Mr. Wynslade, for I can show you something that was presented
+to me the other day by herself, after first pressing it repeatedly to
+her lips."
+
+He then took out of his waistcoat pocket the paper that contained the
+remnant of the camellia japonica, adding, "I can assure you that this
+flower was given me by the prettiest girl in the room."
+
+The eyes of Wynslade were involuntarily directed to Selina.
+
+"You are right," resumed Robertson. "That is the very lady, Miss Selina
+Mansel."
+
+"Can it be possible!" exclaimed Wynslade. "Is this the lady that blushes
+at you? Did _she_ give you the flower?"
+
+"Yes, she did," replied Robertson. "A true bill, I assure you. The
+flower was her gift, and she has just presented me with a piece of
+poetry that is still more pointed. And yet, between ourselves, I think
+it strange that so young a lady should not have had patience to wait for
+a declaration on my part. I wonder that she should be the first to break
+the ice. However, I suppose it is only a stronger evidence of her
+partiality."
+
+"And what are you going to do?" asked Wynslade.
+
+"Oh! I shall take her," answered Robertson. "At least I think I shall.
+To be sure, I have been so short a time in Somerford, that I have
+scarcely yet had an opportunity of ascertaining the state of the market.
+But, besides her being an only child, with a father that is likely to
+come down handsomely, she is very young and very pretty, and will in
+every respect suit me exactly. However, I shall proceed with due
+circumspection. It is bad policy to be too alert on these occasions. It
+will be most prudent to keep her in suspense awhile."
+
+"Insufferable coxcomb!" thought Wynslade. However, he checked his
+contempt and indignation so far as to say with tolerable calmness--"Mr.
+Robertson, there must be certainly some mistake. Before I went to India,
+I knew something of Miss Mansel and her family, and I reproach myself
+for not having sought to renew my acquaintance with them immediately on
+my return. She was a mere child when I last saw her before my departure.
+Still, I know from the manner in which she has been brought up, that it
+is utterly impossible she should have given you any real cause to
+suspect her of a partiality, which, after all, you seem incapable of
+appreciating."
+
+"Suspect!" exclaimed Robertson, warmly; "suspect, indeed! Blushes and
+confusion you acknowledge to be certain signs. And then there is the
+flower--and then--"
+
+"Where is the piece of poetry you talked of?" said Wynslade.
+
+"Here," replied Robertson, showing him the motto--"here it is--read--and
+confess it to be proof positive."
+
+Wynslade took the slip, and read on it--
+
+    "To gain a look of your sweet face,
+    I'd walk three times round the market-place."
+
+"Ridiculous!" he exclaimed, as he returned the couplet to Robertson, the
+course of his ideas changing in a moment. The whole affair now appeared
+to him in so ludicrous a light that he erroneously imagined Selina to
+have been all the time diverting herself at Mr. Robertson's expense. He
+looked towards her with a smile of intelligence, and was surprised to
+find that she had set down her almost untasted ice-cream, and was
+changing colour, from red to pale, evidently overwhelmed with confusion.
+
+"There," said Robertson, looking significantly from Selina to Wynslade,
+"I told you so--only see her cheeks. No doubt she has overheard all we
+have been saying."
+
+Selina had, indeed, overheard the whole; for notwithstanding the talking
+of the ladies who were near her, her attention had been the whole time
+riveted to the conversation that was going on between Robertson and
+Wynslade. Her first impulse was to quit her seat, to go at once to
+Robertson, and to explain to him his mistake. But she felt the
+difficulty of making such an effort in a room full of company, and to
+the youthful simplicity of her mind that difficulty was enhanced by the
+want of a cent to put into his hand at the same time.
+
+Still, she was so extremely discomfited, that every moment seemed to her
+an age till she could have an opportunity of undeceiving him. She sat
+pale and silent till Robertson stepped up and informed her that she
+seemed quite below par; and Wynslade, who followed him, observed that
+"Miss Mansel was probably incommoded by the heat of the room."
+
+"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed, scarcely conscious of what she was saying; "it
+is, indeed, too warm--and here is such a crowd--and I am so fatigued--I
+wish it were eleven o'clock--I wish my father was here to take me home."
+
+Both gentlemen at once volunteered their services; but Selina, struck
+with the idea that during their walk she should have a full opportunity
+of making her explanation to Mr. Robertson, immediately started up, and
+said she would avail herself of _his_ offer. Robertson now cast a
+triumphant glance at Wynslade, who returned it with a look of disgust,
+and walked away, saying to himself, "What an incomprehensible being is
+woman!--I begin to despise the whole sex!"
+
+Selina then took leave of her hostess, and in a few minutes found
+herself on her way home with Mr. Robertson.
+
+"Mr. Robertson," said she, in a hurried voice, "I have something
+particular to say to you."
+
+"Now it is coming," thought Robertson; "but I will take care not to meet
+her half way." Then speaking aloud--"It is a fine moonlight evening,"
+said he: "that is probably what you are going to observe."
+
+"You are under a serious mistake," continued Selina.
+
+"I believe not," pursued Robertson, looking up. "The sky is quite clear,
+and the moon is at the full."
+
+"Nonsense!" exclaimed Selina.
+
+"I am fond of moonlight," persisted Robertson; "and I am extremely
+flattered at your giving me an opportunity of enjoying it with you."
+Here he stopped short, fearing that he had said too much.
+
+"My only motive," said Selina, "for accepting your offer of escorting me
+home, was that I might have an opportunity of explaining to you." Here
+she paused.
+
+"Take your time, Miss Selina," said Robertson, trying to soften his
+voice. "I do not wish you to hurry yourself. I can wait very well for
+the explanation till to-morrow."
+
+"No, you shall not," said Selina; "I must make it at once, for I shall
+be unable to sleep to-night till I have relieved my mind from it."
+
+"Surely," thought Robertson to himself, "young ladies now-a-days are
+remarkably forward." "Well, then, Miss Mansel," speaking aloud, "proceed
+at once to the point. I am all attention."
+
+Selina still hesitated--"Really," said she, "I know not how to express
+myself."
+
+"No doubt of it," he replied; "young ladies, I suppose, are not
+accustomed to being very explicit on these occasions. However, I can
+understand--'A word to the wise,' you know: but the truth is, for my own
+part, I have not quite made up my mind. You are sensible that our
+acquaintance is of very recent date: a wife is not a bill to be accepted
+at sight You know the proverb--'Marry in haste and repent at leisure.'
+However, I think you may draw on me at sixty days. And now that I have
+acknowledged the receipt of your addresses"----
+
+Selina interrupted him with vehemence--"Mr. Robertson, what are you
+talking about? You are certainly not in your senses. You are mistaken, I
+tell you--it is no such thing."
+
+"Come, Miss Mansel," said Robertson, "do not fly from your offer: it is
+too late for what they call coquetry--actions speak louder than words.
+If I must be plain, why so much embarrassment whenever we meet? To say
+nothing of the flower you gave me--and that little verse, which speaks
+volumes"----
+
+"Speaks nonsense!" cried Selina: "Is it possible you can be so absurd as
+to suppose"----Then bursting into tears of vexation, she exclaimed--"Oh
+that I had a cent!"
+
+"A cent!" said Robertson, much surprised. "Is it possible you are crying
+for a cent?"
+
+"Yes, I am," answered Selina; "just now, that is all I want on earth!"
+
+"Well, then," said Robertson, taking one out of his pocket, "you shall
+cry for it no longer: here's one for you."
+
+"This won't do--this won't do!" sobbed Selina.
+
+"Why, I am sure it is a good cent," said Robertson, "just like any
+other."
+
+"No," cried Selina, "your giving me another cent only makes things
+worse."
+
+By this time they were in sight of Mr. Mansel's door, and Selina
+perceived something on the pavement glittering in the moonlight. "Ah!"
+she exclaimed, taking it up, "this must be the very cent I dropped on my
+way to Mrs. Vincent's. I know it by its being quite a new one. How glad
+I am to find it!"
+
+"Well," said Robertson, "I have heard of ladies taking cents to church;
+but I never knew before that they had any occasion for them at
+tea-parties. And, by-the-bye (as I have often told my friend Pennychink
+the vestryman), that practice of handing a money-box round the church in
+service-time, is one of the meanest things I know, and I wonder how any
+man that is a gentleman can bring himself to do it."
+
+"And now, Mr. Robertson," said Selina, hastily wiping her eyes, "have
+you forgotten that I borrowed a cent of you the other day at Mr.
+Stretchlace's store?"
+
+"I _had_ forgotten it," answered Robertson; "but I recollect it now."
+
+"That cent was never returned to you," said Selina.
+
+"It was not," replied Robertson, looking surprised.
+
+"There it is," continued our heroine, as she gave it to him. "Now that I
+see it in your hand, I have courage to explain all. My father and my
+aunt have taught me to dread contracting even the smallest debt.
+Therefore, I could not feel at ease till I had repaid your cent. Several
+untoward circumstances have since prevented my giving it to you, though
+I can assure you, that whenever we met it was seldom absent from my
+mind. This was the real cause of the embarrassment or confusion you talk
+of. When I gave you the flower, and afterwards that foolish motto, I was
+thinking so much of the unlucky cent as to be scarcely conscious of what
+I was doing. Believe me when I repeat to you that this is the whole
+truth of what you have so strangely misinterpreted."
+
+"Is it possible!" exclaimed Robertson: "and was there nothing in it but
+a paltry bit of copper, when I thought all the time that I had at last
+met with a young lady who loved me for myself, and not for my
+bank-stock, and my real estate, and my railroad shares!"
+
+"For neither, I can assure you," said Selina, gayly; "but I shall be
+very glad to hear that yourself, and your bank-stock, and your real
+estate, and your railroad shares, have become the property of a lady of
+better taste than myself."
+
+They had been for some time on the steps of Mr. Mansel's door, and
+before he rung the bell, Robertson said to Selina: "Well, however, you
+know I did not actually come to a proposal?"
+
+"Not exactly," replied Selina, smiling.
+
+"Therefore, you will not tell everybody that you refused me?"
+
+"I will not, indeed," answered Selina. "And now, then, allow me to bid
+you adieu in the words of the song--'Good night--all's well!'"
+
+She then tripped into the parlour, where she found her father just
+preparing to come for her; and having made him very merry with her
+account of the events of the evening, she went to bed with a light
+heart.
+
+Mr. Robertson returned sullenly to his hotel, as much chagrined as a man
+of his obtuse feelings could possibly be. And he was the more vexed at
+losing Selina, as he conceived that a woman who could give herself so
+much uneasiness on account of a cent, would consequently make a good
+wife. The more he thought of this, the better he liked her: and next
+morning, when Henry Wynslade inquired of him the progress of wooing,
+Robertson not having invention enough to gloss over the truth, told him
+the facts as they really were, and asked his companion's opinion of the
+possibility of yet obtaining Miss Mansel.
+
+"Try again by all means," said Wynslade, who was curious to see how this
+business would end. "There is no knowing what may be the effect of a
+direct proposal--the ladies never like us the better for proceeding
+slowly and cautiously: so now for a point-blank shot."
+
+"It shall be conveyed in a letter, then," replied Robertson; "I have
+always found it best, in matters of business, to put down everything in
+black and white."
+
+"Do it at once, then," said Wynslade: "I have some thoughts of Miss
+Mansel myself, and perhaps I may cut you out."
+
+"I doubt that," replied Robertson; "you are but commencing business, and
+_my_ fortune is already made."
+
+"I thought," observed Wynslade, "you would marry only on condition of
+being loved for yourself alone."
+
+"I have given up that hope," answered Robertson, with a sort of sigh:
+"however, I was certainly a very pretty baby. I fear I must now be
+content to take a wife on the usual terms."
+
+"Be quick, then, with your proposal," said Wynslade, "for I am impatient
+to make mine."
+
+Wynslade then departed, and Robertson placed himself at his desk, and in
+a short time despatched to our heroine the following epistle, taking
+care to keep a copy of it:
+
+     "MISS SELINA MANSEL:--Your statement last night was duly attended
+     to; but further consideration may give another turn to the
+     business. The following terms are the best I think proper to offer:
+
+     "One Town House--1 Country House--4 Servants--2 Horses--1
+     Carriage--1 Chaise--1 Set of Jewels--1 New Dress per Month--4
+     Bonnets per Ann.--1 Tea-party on your Birthday--Ditto on mine--1
+     Dinner-party on each anniversary of our Wedding-day, till further
+     orders--2 Plays per Season--and half an Opera.
+
+     "If you are not satisfied with the T. H. and the C. H. you may take
+     1 trip per summer to the Springs or the Sea-shore. If the Parties
+     on the B.D.'s and the W. D. are not deemed sufficient, you may have
+     sundry others.
+
+     "On your part I only stipulate for a dish of rice always at dinner,
+     black tea, 6 cigars per day, to be smoked by me without remark from
+     you--newspapers, chess, and sundries. Your politics to be always
+     the same as mine. No gentlemen under fifty to be received, except
+     at parties. No musician to be allowed to enter the house; nor any
+     young doctor.
+
+     "If you conclude to close with these conditions, let me have advice
+     of it as soon as convenient, that I may wait upon you without loss
+     of time.
+
+     "Your most obt. servt.
+
+     "JOHN W. ROBERTSON.
+
+     "N.B. It may be well to mention, that with respect to furniture, I
+     cannot allow a piano, considering them as nuisances. Shall not
+     object to any reasonable number of sofas and
+     rocking-chairs.--Astral lamps at discretion.--Beg to call your
+     attention to the allowance of gowns and bonnets.--Consider it
+     remarkably liberal.--With respect to dress, sundries of course."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+To this letter half an hour brought a concise answer, containing a civil
+but decided refusal, which Mr. Robertson, though quite crest-fallen,
+could not forbear showing to Wynslade, telling him that he now withdrew
+from the market. On the following morning our hero left Somerford on a
+tour to Canada.
+
+Wynslade immediately laid siege to Selina Mansel, and being young,
+handsome, intelligent, and very much in love, he found little difficulty
+in obtaining her heart and hand.
+
+After their marriage the young couple continued to live with Mr. Mansel,
+who since the affair of Robertson has taken especial care that Selina
+shall always be well supplied with cents, frequently procuring her from
+the bank five dollars' worth at a time.
+
+John W. Robertson finally established himself in one of the large
+Atlantic cities; and in process of time his vanity recovered from the
+shock that had been given it by Miss Mansel. He has lately married a
+young widow, who being dependent with her five children on the bounty of
+her sister's husband, in whose house she lived with all her family, had
+address enough to persuade him that she loved him for himself alone.
+
+
+
+
+THE LADIES' BALL.
+
+    "Then, thrilling to the harp's gay sound,
+      So sweetly rung each vaulted wall,
+    And echoed light the dancer's bound,
+      As mirth and music cheer'd the hall."--SCOTT.
+
+
+The gentlemen who were considered as the _elite_ of a certain city that
+shall be nameless, had been for some years in the practice of giving,
+about Christmas, a splendid ball to the ladies of the same circle. But
+at the period from which we date the commencement of our story,
+Christmas was fast approaching, and there had, as yet, been no
+intimation of the usual practical compliment.
+
+Conjecture was busy among the ladies as to the cause of this
+extraordinary defection; but it was most generally attributed to the
+palpable fact that the attention of the gentlemen had been recently
+directed to a very different channel. In short, the beaux were now
+taking vast strides in the march of intellect, pioneered by certain
+newly popular lecturers in various departments of science. The pursuit
+of knowledge, both useful and useless, had become the order of the day.
+Profound were the researches into those mysteries of nature that in this
+world can never be elucidated: and long and elaborate were the
+dissertations on points that, when established, would not be worth a
+farthing.
+
+The "beaux turned savans," had formed themselves into an association to
+which they had given a polysyllabic name of Greek etymology, and beyond
+the power of female tongue to pronounce, or of female hand to write; but
+a very young girl designated it as the Fee-faw-fum Society. They hired a
+spare room in one of the public buildings, and assembled there "in
+close divan" on stated nights when there were no evening lectures:
+several of the ologists holding forth to their classes of afternoons.
+
+One seemingly indispensable instructor brought up the rear of the host
+of lecturers, and this was a professor of mnemonics: that is, a
+gentleman who gave lessons in memory, pledging himself to furnish the
+minds of his pupils with a regular set of springs, which as soon as
+touched would instantly unlock the treasures of knowledge that were laid
+up in "the storehouse of the brain:" the springs being acted upon by
+certain sheets of engraved and coloured hieroglyphics, some of which
+were numerical figures, others represented trees and houses, and cats
+and dogs, much in the style of what children call primer pictures. Some
+of our readers may, perhaps, recollect this professor, who made the
+circuit of the Union a few years since.
+
+There seemed but two objections to this system, one being that the
+hieroglyphics and their key were harder to remember than the things they
+were to remind you of: the other, that they were frequently to be
+understood by contraries, like the Hetman in Count Benyowsky, whose
+characteristic phraseology is--"When I say the garret, I mean the
+cellar--when I tell you to go up, I mean you to come down."
+
+The professor of mnemonics was very unpopular with the ladies, who
+asserted, that he had done the gentlemen more harm than good, by so
+puzzling their already overcharged heads, that he, in many instances,
+destroyed what little memory they had once possessed. This was
+particularly the case with regard to Mr. Slowman, who having, at length,
+proposed in form to Miss Tremor, and the lady, in her agitation, being
+unable at the moment to give him an intelligible answer, he had never
+remembered to press his suit any further.
+
+One thing was certain, that since the gentlemen had been taking lessons
+in memory, they seemed totally to have forgotten the annual ball.
+
+Yet, as the time drew near, there could be no doubt of its frequently
+entering their minds, from their steadily avoiding all reference to the
+subject. There was evidently a tacit understanding among them, that it
+was inexpedient to mention the ball. But the ice was at last broken by
+Gordon Fitzsimmons, as they were all standing round the fire, and
+adjusting their cloaks and surtouts, at the close of one of their
+society meetings.
+
+"Is it not time," said he, "that we should begin to prepare for the
+Christmas ball?"
+
+There was a silence--at last, one of the young gentlemen spoke, and
+replied--"that he had long since come to a conclusion that dancing was a
+very foolish thing, and that there was something extremely ridiculous in
+seeing a room-full of men and women jumping about to the sound of a
+fiddle. In short, he regarded it as an amusement derogatory to the
+dignity of human nature."
+
+He was interrupted in the midst of his philippic by Fitzsimmons, who
+advised him to "consider it not so deeply." Now, Fitzsimmons was himself
+an excellent dancer, very popular as a partner, conscious of looking
+well in a ball-room, and therefore a warm advocate for "the poetry of
+motion."
+
+Another of the young philosophers observed, "that he saw neither good
+nor harm in dancing, considered merely as an exercise: but that he was
+now busily engaged in writing a treatise on the Milky Way, the precise
+nature of which he had undoubtedly discovered, and therefore he had no
+leisure to attend to the ball or the ladies."
+
+A second, who was originally from Norridgewock, in the state of Maine,
+protested that almost every moment of his time was now occupied in
+lithographing his drawings for the Flora Norridgewockiana, a work that
+would constitute an important accession to the science of botany, and
+which he was shortly going to publish.
+
+A third declared frankly, that instead of subscribing to the ball, he
+should devote all his spare cash to a much more rational purpose, that
+of purchasing a set of geological specimens from the Himalaya Mountains.
+A fifth, with equal candour, announced a similar intention with regard
+to a box of beetles lately arrived from Van Diemen's Land.
+
+A sixth was deeply and unremittingly employed in composing a history of
+the Muskogee Indians, in which work he would prove to demonstration that
+they were of Russian origin, as their name denotes: Muskogee being
+evidently a corruption of Muscovite; just as the Tuscaroras are
+undoubtedly of Italian descent, the founders of their tribe having, of
+course, come over from Tuscany.
+
+And a seventh (who did things on a large scale) could not possibly give
+his attention to a ball or anything else, till he had finished a work
+which would convince the world that the whole Atlantic Ocean was once
+land, and that the whole American continent was once water.
+
+To be brief, the number of young men who were in favour of the ball was
+so very limited, that it seemed impossible to get one up in a manner
+approaching to the style of former years. And the gentlemen, feeling a
+sort of consciousness that they were not exactly in their duty, became
+more remiss than ever in visiting the ladies.
+
+It was now the week before Christmas: the ladies, being in hourly
+expectation of receiving their cards, had already begun to prepare; and
+flowers, feathers, ribands, and laces were in great activity. Still no
+invitations came. It was now conjectured that the ball was, for some
+extraordinary reason, to be deferred till New Year's. But what this
+reason was, the ladies (being all in a state of pique) had too much
+pride to inquire.
+
+The gentlemen begun to feel a little ashamed; and Gordon Fitzsimmons had
+nearly prevailed on them to agree to a New Year's ball, when Apesley
+Sappington (who had recently returned from England in a coat by Stultz,
+and boots by Hoby) threw a damp on the whole business, by averring that,
+with the exception of Miss Lucinda Mandeville, who was certainly a
+splendid woman with a splendid fortune, there was not a lady in the
+whole circle worth favouring with a ball ticket. At least so they
+appeared to him, after seeing Lady Caroline Percy, and Lady Augusta
+Howard, and Lady Georgiana Beauclerck. Mr. Sappington did not explain
+that his only view of these fair blossoms of nobility had been
+circumscribed to such glimpses as he could catch of them while he stood
+in the street among a crowd assembled in front of Devonshire House, to
+gaze on the company through the windows, which in London are always open
+on gala nights. He assured his friends that all the ladies of the
+American aristocracy had a sort of _parvenue_ air, and looked as if they
+had passed their lives east of Temple Bar; and that he knew not a single
+one of them that would be presentable at Almack's: always excepting Miss
+Lucinda Mandeville.
+
+The gentlemen _savans_ knew Apesley Sappington to be a coxcomb, and in
+their own minds did not believe him; but still they thought it scarcely
+worth while to allow their favourite pursuits to be interrupted for the
+sake of giving a ball to ladies that _might_ be unpresentable at
+Almack's, and that _possibly_ looked like _parvenues_ from the east side
+of Temple Bar.
+
+The belles, though much disappointed at the failure of the expected
+fete, proudly determined not to advert to the subject by the remotest
+hint in presence of the beaux; carefully avoiding even to mention the
+word cotillion when a gentleman was by. One young lady left off wishing
+that Taglioni would come to America, the name of that celebrated
+_artiste_ being synonymous with dancing; and another checked herself
+when about to inquire of her sister if she had seen a missing ball of
+silk, because the word ball was not to be uttered before one of the male
+sex.
+
+Things were in this uncomfortable state, when Miss Lucinda Mandeville,
+the belle _par excellence_, gave a turn to them which we shall relate,
+after presenting our readers with a sketch of the lady herself.
+
+Miss Mandeville was very beautiful, very accomplished, and very rich,
+and had just completed her twenty-second year. Her parents being dead,
+she presided over an elegant mansion in the most fashionable part of the
+city, having invited an excellent old lady, a distant relation of the
+family, to reside with her. Mrs. Danforth, however, was but nominally
+the companion of Miss Mandeville, being so entirely absorbed in books
+that it was difficult to get her out of the library.
+
+The hand of Miss Mandeville had been sought openly by one-half the
+gentlemen that boasted the honour of her acquaintance, and it had been
+hinted at by the other half, with the exception of Gordon Fitzsimmons, a
+young attorney of highly promising talents, whose ambition would have
+led him to look forward to the probability of arriving at the summit of
+his profession, but whose rise was, as yet, somewhat impeded by several
+very singular notions: such, for instance, as that a lawyer should never
+plead against his conscience, and never undertake what he knows to be
+the wrong side of a cause.
+
+Another of his peculiarities was a strange idea that no gentleman should
+ever condescend to be under pecuniary obligations to his
+wife--ergo--that a man who has nothing himself, should never marry a
+woman that has anything. This last consideration had induced Mr.
+Fitzsimmons to undertake the Herculean task of steeling his heart, and
+setting his face against the attractions of Miss Mandeville, with all
+her advantages of mind and person. Notwithstanding, therefore, that her
+conversation was always delightful to him, he rarely visited her, except
+when invited with other company.
+
+Lucinda Mandeville, who, since the age of sixteen, had been surrounded
+by admirers, and accustomed to all the adulation that is generally
+lavished on a beauty and an heiress, was surprised at the apparent
+coldness of Gordon Fitzsimmons, than whom she had never met with a young
+man more congenial to her taste. His manifest indifference continually
+attracted her attention, and, after awhile, she began to suspect that it
+was no indifference at all, and that something else lurked beneath it.
+What that was, the sagacity of her sex soon enabled her to discover.
+
+Fitzsimmons never urged Lucinda to play, never handed her to the piano,
+never placed her harp for her, never turned over the leaves of her music
+book; but she always perceived that though he affected to mingle with
+the groups that stood round as listeners, he uniformly took a position
+from whence he could see her to advantage all the time. When she
+happened to glance towards him, which, it must be confessed, she did
+much oftener than she intended (particularly when she came to the finest
+passage of her song), she never failed to find his eyes fixed on her
+face with a gaze of involuntary admiration, that, when they met, was
+instantly changed to an averted look of indifference.
+
+Though he was scrupulous in dancing with her once only in the course of
+the evening, she could not but perceive that, during this set, his
+countenance, in spite of himself, lighted up with even more than its
+usual animation. And if she accidentally turned her head, she saw that
+his eyes were following her every motion: as well indeed they might, for
+she danced with the lightness of a sylph, and the elegance of a lady.
+
+Notwithstanding his own acknowledged taste for everything connected with
+the fine arts, Fitzsimmons never asked to see Miss Mandeville's
+drawings. But she observed that after she had been showing them to
+others, and he supposed her attention to be elsewhere engaged, he failed
+not to take them up, and gaze on them as if he found it difficult to lay
+them down again.
+
+In conversation, he never risked a compliment to Miss Mandeville, but
+often dissented with her opinion, and frequently rallied her.--Yet when
+she was talking to any one else, he always contrived to be within
+hearing; and frequently, when engaged himself in conversing with others,
+he involuntarily stopped short to listen to what Lucinda was saying.
+
+Miss Mandeville had read much, and seen much, and had had much love
+made to her: but her heart had never, till now, been touched even
+slightly. That Fitzsimmons admired her, she could not possibly doubt:
+and that he loved her, she would have been equally certain, only that he
+continued all the time in excellent health and spirits; that, so far
+from sitting "like patience on a monument," he seldom sat anywhere; that
+when he smiled (which he did very often) it was evidently not at grief;
+and that the concealment he affected, was assuredly not feeding on his
+cheek, which, so far from turning "green and yellow," had lost nothing
+of its "natural ruby."
+
+Neither was our heroine at all likely to die for love. Though there
+seemed no prospect of his coming to a proposal, and though she was
+sometimes assured by the youngest and prettiest of her female friends,
+that they knew from authentic sources that Mr. Fitzsimmons had
+magnanimously declared against marrying a woman of fortune; yet other
+ladies, who were neither young nor handsome, and had no hope of Mr.
+Fitzsimmons for themselves, were so kind as to convince Miss Mandeville
+that he admired her even at "the very top of admiration." And these
+generous and disinterested ladies were usually, after such agreeable
+communications, invited by Miss Mandeville to pass the evening with her.
+
+Also--our heroine chanced one day to overhear a conversation between
+Dora, her own maid, and another mulatto girl; in which Dora averred to
+her companion that she had heard from no less authority than Squire
+Fitzsimmons's man Cato, "who always wore a blue coat, be the colour what
+it may, that the squire was dead in love with Miss Lucinda, as might be
+seen from many invisible _symptoms_, and that both Dora and Cato had a
+certain _foregiving_ that it would turn out a match at last, for all
+that the lady had the money on her side, which, to be sure, was rather
+unnatural; and that the wedding might be looked for _momently_, any
+minute."
+
+In the course of the next quarter of an hour, Miss Lucinda called Dora
+into her dressing-room, and presented her with a little Thibet shawl,
+which she had worn but once. Dora grinned understandingly: and from that
+time she contrived to be overheard so frequently in similar
+conversations, that much of the effect was diminished.
+
+To resume the thread of our narrative--Lucinda being one morning on a
+visit to her friend Miss Delwin, the latter adverted to the failure of
+the annual dancing party.
+
+"What would the beaux say," exclaimed Lucinda, struck with a sudden
+idea, "if the belles were to give a ball to _them_, by way of hinting
+our sense of their extraordinary remissness? Let us convince them that,
+according to the luminous and incontrovertible aphorism of the renowned
+Sam Patch, 'some things may be done as well as others.'"
+
+"Excellent," replied Miss Delwin; "the thought is well worth pursuing.
+Let us try what we can make of it."
+
+The two young ladies then proceeded to an animated discussion of the
+subject, and the more they talked of it, the better they liked it. They
+very soon moulded the idea into regular form: and, as there was no time
+to be lost, they set out to call on several of their friends, and
+mention it to them.
+
+The idea, novel as it seemed, was seized on with avidity by all to whom
+it was suggested, and a secret conclave was held on the following
+morning at Miss Mandeville's house, where the ladies debated with closed
+doors, while the plan was organized and the particulars arranged: our
+heroine proposing much that she thought would "point the moral and adorn
+the tale."
+
+Next day, notes of invitation to a ball given by the ladies, were sent
+round to the gentlemen; all of whom were surprised, and many mortified,
+for they at once saw the motive, and understood the implied reproof.
+Some protested that they should never have courage to go, and talked of
+declining the invitation. But the majority decided on accepting it,
+justly concluding that it was best to carry the thing off with a good
+grace; and having, besides, much curiosity to see how the ladies would
+_conduct_, if we may be pardoned a Yankeeism.
+
+Fitzsimmons declared that the delinquent beaux were rightly punished by
+this palpable hit of the belles. And he congratulated himself on having
+always voted in favour of the ball being given as formerly: secretly
+hoping that Miss Mandeville knew that _he_ had not been one of the
+backsliders. We are tolerably sure that she _did_ know it.
+
+Eventually the invitations were all accepted, and the preparations went
+secretly but rapidly on, under the superintendence of Miss Mandeville
+and Miss Delwin. In the mean time, the gentlemen, knowing that they all
+looked conscious and foolish, avoided the ladies, and kept themselves as
+much out of their sight as possible; with the exception of Gordon
+Fitzsimmons, he being the only one that felt freedom to "wear his beaver
+up."
+
+At length the eventful evening arrived. It had been specified in the
+notes that the ladies were to meet the gentlemen at the ball-room, which
+was a public one engaged for the occasion. Accordingly, the beaux found
+all the belles there before them: the givers of the _fete_ having gone
+in their own conveyances, an hour in advance of the time appointed for
+their guests.
+
+The six ladies that officiated as managers (and were all distinguished
+by a loop of blue riband drawn through their belts) met the gentlemen at
+the door as they entered the ball-room, and taking their hands,
+conducted them to their seats with much mock civility. The gentlemen,
+though greatly ashamed, tried in vain to look grave.
+
+The room was illuminated with astral lamps, whose silver rays shone out
+from clusters of blue and purple flowers, and with crystal chandeliers,
+whose pendent drops sparkled amid festoons of roses. The walls were
+painted of a pale and beautiful cream colour. Curtains of the richest
+crimson, relieved by their masses of shadow the brilliant lightness of
+the other decorations: their deep silken fringes reflected in the
+mirrors, whose polished surfaces were partially hidden by folds of their
+graceful drapery. The orchestra represented a splendid oriental tent;
+and the musicians were habited in uniform Turkish dresses, their white
+turbans strikingly contrasting their black faces.
+
+At the opposite end of the room was an excellent transparency, executed
+by an artist from a sketch by Miss Mandeville. It depicted a medley of
+scenery and figures, but so skilfully and tastefully arranged as to have
+a very fine effect when viewed as a whole. There was a Virginian lady
+assisting her cavalier to mount his horse--a Spanish damsel under the
+lattice of her lover, serenading him with a guitar--a Swiss _paysanne_
+supporting the steps of a chamois hunter as he timidly clambered up a
+rock--four Hindoo women carrying a Bramin in a palanquin--an English
+girl rowing a sailor in a boat--and many other anomalies of a similar
+description. Beneath the picture was a scroll fancifully ornamented, and
+containing the words "_Le monde renverse_."
+
+That nothing might be wanting to the effect of the ball, the ladies had
+made a point of appearing this evening in dresses unusually splendid and
+_recherche_. The elegant form of Lucinda Mandeville was attired in a
+rich purple satin, bordered with gold embroidery, and trimmed round the
+neck with blond lace. Long full sleeves of the same material threw
+their transparent shade over her beautiful arms, and were confined at
+intervals with bands of pearls clasped with amethysts. A chain of pearls
+was arranged above the curls of her dark and glossy hair, crossing at
+the back of her head, and meeting in front, where it terminated in a
+splendid amethyst aigrette. Three short white feathers, tastefully
+disposed at intervals, completed the coiffure, which was peculiarly
+becoming to the noble and resplendent style of beauty that distinguished
+our heroine; though to a little slight woman with light hair and eyes,
+it would have been exactly the contrary.
+
+"Did you ever see so princess-like a figure as Miss Mandeville?" said
+young Rainsford to Gordon Fitzsimmons, "or features more finely
+chiselled?"
+
+"I have never seen a princess," replied Fitzsimmons, "but from what I
+have heard, few of them look in reality as a princess should. Neither, I
+think, does the word _chiselled_ apply exactly to features, formed by a
+hand beside whose noble and beautiful creations the finest _chef
+d'oeuvres_ of sculpture are as nothing. I like not to hear of the
+human face being _well cut_ or _finely chiselled_: though these
+expressions have long been sanctioned by the currency of fashion. Why
+borrow from art a term, or terms, that so imperfectly defines the beauty
+of nature? When we look at a living face, with features more lovely than
+the imagination of an artist has ever conceived, or at a complexion
+blooming with health, and eyes sparkling with intelligence, why should
+our delight and our admiration be disturbed, by admitting any idea
+connected with a block of marble and the instruments that form it into
+shape?"
+
+"But you must allow," said Rainsford, "that Miss Mandeville has a fine
+classic head."
+
+"I acknowledge," said Fitzsimmons, "the graceful contour of the heads
+called classic. On this side of the Atlantic we have few opportunities
+of judging of antique sculpture, except from casts and engravings. But
+as to the faces of the nymphs and goddesses of Grecian art, I must
+venture to confess that they do not exactly comport with my ideas of
+female loveliness. Not to speak of their almost unvarying sameness (an
+evidence, I think, that they are not modelled from life, for nature
+never repeats herself), their chief characteristics are a cold
+regularity of outline, and an insipid straightness of nose and forehead,
+such as in a living countenance would be found detrimental to all
+expression. I know I am talking heresy: but I cannot divest myself of
+the persuasion, that a face with precisely the features that we are
+accustomed to admire in antique statuary, would, if clothed in flesh and
+blood, be scarcely considered beautiful."
+
+"Perhaps so," said Rainsford; "but you surely consider Miss Mandeville
+beautiful?"
+
+"The beauty of Lucinda Mandeville," replied Fitzsimmons, "is not that of
+a Grecian statue. It is the beauty of an elegant American lady, uniting
+all the best points of her countrywomen. Her figure is symmetry itself,
+and there is an ease, a grace, a dignity in her movements, which I have
+never seen surpassed. Her features are lovely in their form and charming
+in their expression, particularly her fine black eyes: and her
+complexion is unrivalled both in its bloom and its delicacy."
+
+"What a pity that Lucinda does not hear all this!" remarked Miss Delwin,
+who happened to be near Fitzsimmons and his friend.
+
+Fitzsimmons coloured, fearing that he had spoken with too much warmth:
+and, bowing to Miss Delwin, he took the arm of Rainsford, and went to
+another part of the room.
+
+Miss Delwin, however, lost no time in finding Lucinda, and repeated the
+whole, verbatim, to her highly gratified friend, who tried to look
+indifferent, but blushed and smiled all the time she was listening: and
+who, from this moment, felt a sensible accession to her usual excellent
+spirits.
+
+"Ladies," said Miss Delwin, "choose your partners for a cotillion."
+
+For a few moments the ladies hesitated, and held back at the idea of so
+novel a beginning to the ball: and Fitzsimmons, much amused, made a sign
+to his friends not to advance. Miss Mandeville came forward with a smile
+on her lips, and a blush on her cheeks. The heart of Fitzsimmons beat
+quick; but she passed him, and curtsying to young Colesberry, who was
+just from college, and extremely diffident, she requested the honour of
+his hand, and led him, with as much composure as she could assume, to a
+cotillion that was forming in the centre of the room; he shrinking and
+apologizing all the while. And Miss Delwin engaged Fitzsimmons.
+
+In a short time, all the ladies had provided themselves with partners.
+At first, from the singularity of their mutual situation, both beaux and
+belles felt themselves under considerable embarrassment, but gradually
+this awkwardness wore away, and an example being set by the master
+spirits of the assembly, there was much pleasantry on either side; all
+being determined to humour the jest, and sustain it throughout with as
+good a grace as possible.
+
+When the cotillions were forming for the second set, nearly a dozen
+young ladies found themselves simultaneously approaching Gordon
+Fitzsimmons, each with the design of engaging him as a partner. And this
+_empressement_ was not surprising, as he was decidedly the handsomest
+and most elegant man in the room.
+
+"Well, ladies," said Fitzsimmons, as they almost surrounded him, "you
+must decide among yourselves which of you is to take me out. All I can
+do is to stand still and be passive. But I positively interdict any
+quarrelling about me."
+
+"We have heard," said Miss Atherley, "of men dying of love, dying of
+grief, and dying from fear of death. We are now trying if it is not
+possible to make them die of vanity."
+
+"True," replied Fitzsimmons, "we may say with Harry the Fifth at
+Agincourt--'He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,'"--"'Will
+stand a-tiptoe when this day is named,'"--added Miss Atherley, finishing
+the quotation.
+
+Fitzsimmons did not reply; for his attention was at that moment engaged
+by seeing Miss Manderville leading out Apesley Sappington, and
+apparently much diverted with his absurdities.
+
+"Ladies," said Miss Atherley, looking round to her companions, "let us
+try a fair chance of Mr. Fitzsimmons--suppose we draw lots for him."
+
+"Do--by all means," exclaimed Fitzsimmons. "Set me up at a raffle."
+
+"No," replied Miss Atherley, "we cannot conveniently raffle for you, as
+we have no dice at hand. Another way will do as well."
+
+She then plucked from her bouquet some green rose-leaves, and half
+concealing them between her fingers, she offered the stems to each of
+her companions in turn, saying--"Whoever draws the largest rose-leaf may
+claim the honour of Mr. Fitzsimmons's hand for the next set."
+
+The lots were drawn, and the largest rose-leaf remained with Miss
+Atherley (who was a young lady of much beauty and vivacity), and whom
+her friends laughingly accused of foul play in contriving to hold it
+back, in which opinion Fitzsimmons assured them that he perfectly
+coincided. But Miss Atherley, however, led him triumphantly to the
+cotillion which, fortunately for his partner, did not happen to be the
+one in which Lucinda Mandeville was engaged.
+
+At the conclusion of each set, the ladies conducted the gentlemen to
+their seats, assisted them to the refreshments that were handed round,
+and stood by and fanned them. Most of the gentlemen took all this very
+well, but others were much disconcerted: particularly a grave
+knight-errant-looking Spaniard, who (having but lately arrived, and
+understanding the language but imperfectly) conceived that it was the
+custom in America for ladies to give balls to gentlemen, and to wait on
+them during the evening. In this error he was mischievously allowed to
+continue: but so much was his gallantry shocked, that he could not
+forbear dropping on his knees to receive the attentions that were
+assiduously proffered to him: bowing gratefully on the fair hands that
+presented him with a glass of orgeat or a plate of ice-cream.--And he
+was so overcome with the honour, and so deeply penetrated with a sense
+of his own unworthiness, when Lucinda Mandeville invited him to dance
+with her, that she almost expected to see him perform kotou, and knock
+his head nine times against the floor.
+
+Among others of the company was Colonel Kingswood, a very agreeable
+bachelor, long past the meridian of life, but not quite old enough to
+marry a young girl, his mind, as yet, showing no symptoms of dotage. His
+fortune was not sufficient to make him an object of speculation, and
+though courteous to all, his attentions were addressed exclusively to
+none. He was much liked by his young friends of both sexes, all of them
+feeling perfectly at ease in his society. Though he rarely danced, he
+was very fond of balls, and had participated in the vexation of Gordon
+Fitzsimmons when the beaux had declined giving their Christmas fete to
+the belles.
+
+In an interval between the sets, Lucinda suggested to a group of her
+fair companions, the propriety of asking Colonel Kingswood to dance; a
+compliment that he had not as yet received during the evening. "You
+know," said she, "the Colonel sometimes dances, and now that the ladies
+have assumed the privilege of choosing their partners, courtesy requires
+that none of the gentlemen should be neglected."
+
+But each declined asking Colonel Kingswood, on the plea that they had
+other partners in view.
+
+"For my part," said Miss Ormond, frankly, "I am just going to ask Mr.
+Wyndham. This is, perhaps, the only chance I shall ever have of dancing
+with him, as I am quite certain he will never ask _me_."
+
+"But, my dear Lucinda," said Miss Elgrove, "why not invite Colonel
+Kingswood yourself? There he is, talking to Mr. Fitzsimmons, near the
+central window. It is not magnanimous to propose to others what you are
+unwilling to do in _propria persona_."
+
+Lucinda had, in reality, but one objection to proposing herself as a
+partner to Colonel Kingswood, and that was, his being just then engaged
+in conversation with Gordon Fitzsimmons, whom she felt a sort of
+conscious reluctance to approach. However, she paused a moment, and then
+summoned courage to join the two gentlemen and proffer her request to
+the Colonel, even though Fitzsimmons was close at hand.
+
+"My dear Miss Mandeville," said Colonel Kingswood, "I confess that I
+have not courage to avail myself of your very tempting proposal. As my
+fighting days are now over, I cannot stand the shot of the jealous eyes
+that will be directed at me from every part of the ball-room."
+
+"I have seen you dance," remarked Lucinda, evading the application of
+his compliment.
+
+"True," replied the Colonel, "but you might have observed that I never
+take out the _young_ ladies--always being so considerate as to leave
+them to the young gentlemen. I carry my disinterestedness so far as
+invariably to select partners that are _ni jeune, ni jolie_:
+notwithstanding the remarks I frequently hear about well-matched pairs,
+&c."
+
+"I am to understand, then," said Lucinda, "that you are mortifying me by
+a refusal."
+
+"Come, now, be honest," returned Colonel Kingswood, "and change the word
+'mortify' into _gratify_. But do not turn away. It is customary, you
+know, when a man is drawn for the militia and is unwilling to serve, to
+allow him to choose a substitute. Here then is mine. Advance, Mr.
+Fitzsimmons, and with such a partner I shall expect to see you 'rise
+from the ground like feather'd Mercury.'"
+
+Fitzsimmons came forward with sparkling eyes and a heightened colour,
+and offered his hand to Lucinda, whose face was suffused even to the
+temples. There were a few moments of mutual confusion, and neither party
+uttered a word till they had reached the cotillion. The music commenced
+as soon as they had taken their places, and Lucinda being desired by her
+opposite lady to lead, there was no immediate conversation.
+
+Our heroine called up all her pride, all her self-command, and all her
+native buoyancy of spirits; Fitzsimmons did the same, and they managed
+in the intervals of the dance to talk with so much vivacity, that each
+was convinced that their secret was still preserved from the other.
+
+When the set was over, they returned to the place in which they had left
+Colonel Kingswood, who received them with a smile.
+
+"Well, Miss Mandeville," said he, "what pretty things have you been
+saying to your partner?"
+
+"Ask Mr. Fitzsimmons," replied Lucinda.
+
+"Not a single compliment could I extract from her," said Fitzsimmons;
+"she had not even the grace to imply her gratitude for doing me the
+honour of dancing with me, or rather, for my doing her the honour. Ah!
+that is it--is it not? I forgot the present mode of expression. It is so
+difficult for one night only to get out of the old phraseology. But she
+certainly expressed no gratitude."
+
+"I owed you none," replied Lucinda; "for, like Malvolio, you have had
+greatness thrust upon you. You know you are only Colonel Kingswood's
+substitute."
+
+"Well," resumed Fitzsimmons, "have I not done my best to make 'the
+substitute shine brightly as the king?'"
+
+"Recollect that the king is now by," said Colonel Kingswood. "But, Miss
+Mandeville, you must go through your part. Consider that to-night is the
+only opportunity the gentlemen may ever have of hearing how adroitly the
+ladies can flatter them."
+
+"It is not in the bond," replied Lucinda.
+
+"What is not?"
+
+"That the ladies should flatter the gentlemen."
+
+"Excuse me," said Colonel Kingswood; "the ladies having voluntarily
+taken the responsibility, the gentlemen must insist on their going
+regularly through the whole ball with all its accompaniments, including
+compliments, flattery, and flirtation, and a seasoning of genuine
+courtship, of which last article there is always more or less at every
+large party. And as it appears that Miss Mandeville has not faithfully
+done her part during the dance, she must make amends by doing it now."
+
+"On the latter subject," said Fitzsimmons, "Miss Mandeville can need no
+prompting. Her own experience must have made her familiar with courtship
+in all its varieties."
+
+"Of course,"--resumed the Colonel.--"So, Miss Mandeville, you can be at
+no loss in what manner to begin."
+
+"And am I to stand here and be courted?" said Fitzsimmons.
+
+"Now do not be frightened," observed the Colonel, "and do not look round
+as if you were meditating an escape. I will stand by and see how you
+acquit yourself in this new and delightful situation. Come, Miss
+Mandeville, begin."
+
+"What sort of courtship will you have?" said Lucinda, who could not
+avoid laughing. "The sentimental, the prudential, or the downright?"
+
+"The downright, by all means," cried the Colonel. "No, no," said
+Fitzsimmons; "let me hear the others first. The downright would be too
+overwhelming without a previous preparation."
+
+Lucinda affected to hide her face with a feather that had fallen from
+her head during the dance, and which she still held in her hand, and she
+uttered hesitatingly and with downcast eyes--
+
+"If I could hope to be pardoned for my temerity in thus presuming to
+address one whose manifest perfections so preponderate in the scale,
+when weighed against my own demerits--"
+
+"Oh! stop, stop!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons; "this will never do!"
+
+"Why, it is just the way a poor young fellow courted me last summer,"
+replied Lucinda. "Come, let me go on. Conscious as I am that I might as
+well 'love a bright and particular star, and think to wed it--'"
+
+"You will never succeed in that strain," said Fitzsimmons, laughing.
+"You must try another."
+
+"Well, then," continued Lucinda, changing her tone, "here is the
+prudential mode. Mr. Gordon Fitzsimmons, thinking it probable (though I
+speak advisedly) that you may have no objection to change your
+condition, and believing (though perhaps I may be mistaken) that we are
+tolerably well suited to each other--I being my own mistress, and you
+being your own master--perceiving no great disparity of age, or
+incompatibility of temper--"
+
+"I like not this mode either," interrupted Fitzsimmons; "it is worse
+than the other."
+
+"Do you think so?" resumed Lucinda. "It is just the way a rich old
+fellow courted me last winter."
+
+"Nothing is more likely," said Fitzsimmons. "But neither of these modes
+will succeed with me."
+
+"Then," observed the Colonel, "there is nothing left but the plain
+downright."
+
+"Mr. Fitzsimmons, will you marry me?" said Lucinda.
+
+"With all my heart and soul," replied Fitzsimmons, taking her hand.
+
+"Oh! you forget yourself," exclaimed Lucinda, struggling to withdraw it.
+"You are not half so good a comedian as I am. You should look down, and
+play with your guard-chain; and then look up, and tell me you are
+perfectly happy in your single state--that marriage is a lottery--that
+our acquaintance has been too slight for either of us to form a correct
+opinion of the other. In short, you should say _no_."
+
+"By heavens!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons, kissing her beautiful hand; "I
+cannot say no--even in jest."
+
+Lucinda's first sensation was involuntary delight. But in a moment she
+was startled by the conviction that she had unthinkingly gone too far.
+The native delicacy of woman thrilled every nerve in her frame, and her
+cheeks varied alternately from red to pale. Shocked at the length to
+which she had inadvertently carried a dialogue begun in _badinage_, and
+confused, mortified, and distressed at its result, she forcibly
+disengaged her hand from that of Fitzsimmons, and turning to a lady and
+gentleman that she saw passing, she said she would accompany them to the
+other end of the room. Arrived there, she seated herself in the midst of
+a group that were warmly engaged in discussing the comparative merits of
+Spanish dances and Polish dances: and she endeavoured to collect her
+scattered thoughts, and compose the flutter of her spirits. But it was
+in vain--the more she reflected on the little scene that had just taken
+place, the more she regretted it.
+
+"What must Fitzsimmons think of me?" was her predominant idea. "His
+gallantry as a gentleman prompted his reply, but still how sadly I must
+have sunk in his opinion! That I should have allowed myself to be drawn
+into such a conversation! That I should have carried a foolish jest so
+far! But I will punish myself severely. I will expiate my folly by
+avoiding all farther intercourse with Gordon Fitzsimmons; and from this
+night we must become strangers to each other."
+
+The change in Lucinda's countenance and manner was now so obvious that
+several of her friends asked her if she was ill. To these questions she
+answered in the negative: but her cheeks grew paler, and the tears
+sprang to her eyes.
+
+Miss Delwin now approached, and said to her in a low voice--"My dear
+Lucinda, I perceive that you are suffering under some _contre-tems_; but
+such things, you know, are always incidental to balls, and all other
+assemblages where every one expects unqualified delight. We should be
+prepared for these contingencies, and when they do occur, the only
+alternative is to try to pass them over as well as we can, by making an
+effort to rally our spirits so as to get through the remainder of the
+evening with apparent composure, or else to plead indisposition and go
+home. Which course will you take?"
+
+"Oh! how gladly would I retire!" exclaimed Lucinda, scarcely able to
+restrain her tears. "But were I to do so, there are persons who might
+put strange constructions--or rather the company might be induced to
+make invidious remarks--"
+
+"By no means," interrupted Miss Delwin. "A lady may at any time be
+overcome with the heat and fatigue of a ball-room--nothing is more
+common."
+
+"But," said Lucinda, "were I to leave the company--were I to appear as
+if unable to stay--were I to evince so much emotion--he would, indeed,
+suppose me in earnest."
+
+"He!" cried Miss Delwin, looking surprised. "Of whom are you speaking,
+dear Lucinda? Who is it that would suppose you in earnest?"
+
+"No matter," replied Lucinda, "I spoke inadvertently; I forgot myself; I
+knew not what I was saying."
+
+"Dearest Lucinda," exclaimed Miss Delwin, "I am extremely sorry to find
+you so discomposed. What can have happened? At a more convenient time,
+may I hope that you will tell me?"
+
+"Oh! no, no," replied Lucinda, "it is impossible. I cannot speak of it
+even to you. Ask me no further. I am distressed, humiliated, shocked at
+myself (and she covered her face with her hands). But I cannot talk
+about it, now or ever."
+
+"Lucinda, my dear Lucinda," said Miss Delwin, "your agitation will be
+observed."
+
+"Then I must endeavour to suppress it," replied Lucinda, starting up. "I
+_must_ stay till this unfortunate ball is over; my going home would seem
+too pointed."
+
+"Let me then intreat you, my dear girl," said Miss Delwin, "to exert
+yourself to appear as usual. Come, take my arm, and we will go and talk
+nonsense to Apesley Sappington."
+
+Lucinda did make an effort to resume her usual vivacity. But it was
+evidently forced. She relapsed continually: and she resembled an actress
+that is one moment playing with her wonted spirit, and the next moment
+forgetting her part.
+
+"So," said Colonel Kingswood to Fitzsimmons, after Lucinda had left them
+together, "I am to infer that you are are really in love with Miss
+Mandeville?"
+
+"Ardently--passionately--and I long to tell her so in earnest," replied
+Fitzsimmons; and he took up the feather that Lucinda in her agitation
+had dropped from her hand.
+
+"Of course, then, you will make your proposal to-morrow morning," said
+the colonel.
+
+"No," replied Fitzsimmons, concealing the feather within the breast of
+his coat. "I cannot so wound her delicacy. I see that she is
+disconcerted at the little scene into which we inadvertently drew her,
+and alarmed at the idea that perhaps she allowed herself to go too far.
+I respect her feelings, and I will spare them. But to me she has long
+been the most charming woman in existence."
+
+"What, then," inquired the colonel, "has retarded the disclosure of your
+secret, if secret it may be called?"
+
+"Her superiority in point of fortune," replied Fitzsimmons. "You know
+the small amount of property left me by my father, and that in my
+profession I am as yet but a beginner; though I must own that my
+prospects of success are highly encouraging. To say nothing of my
+repugnance to reversing the usual order of the married state, and
+drawing the chief part of our expenditure from the money of my wife, how
+could I expect to convince her that my motives in seeking her hand were
+otherwise than mercenary?"
+
+"Are they?" said Colonel Kingswood, with a half smile.
+
+"No, on my soul they are not," replied Fitzsimmons, earnestly. "Were our
+situations reversed, I would, without a moment's hesitation, lay all
+that I possessed at her feet, and think myself the most honoured, the
+most fortunate of men if I could obtain a gem whose intrinsic value
+requires not the aid of a gold setting."
+
+"Do you suppose, then," said Colonel Kingswood, "that a lovely and
+elegant woman like Miss Lucinda Mandeville can have so humble an opinion
+of herself as to suppose that she owes all her admirers to her wealth,
+and that there is nothing attractive about her but her bank-stock and
+her houses?"
+
+"Since I first knew Miss Mandeville," replied Fitzsimmons, "I have
+secretly cherished the hope of being one day worthy of her acceptance.
+And this hope has incited me to be doubly assiduous in my profession,
+with the view of ultimately acquiring both wealth and distinction. And
+when I have made a name, as well as a fortune, I shall have no scruples
+in offering myself to her acceptance."
+
+"And before all this is accomplished," observed the colonel, "some lucky
+fellow, with a ready-made fortune, and a ready-made name, or, more
+probably, some bold adventurer with neither, may fearlessly step in and
+carry off the prize."
+
+"There is madness in the thought!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons, putting his
+hand to his forehead.
+
+"Did it never strike you before?" inquired the colonel.
+
+"It has, it has," cried Fitzsimmons; "a thousand times has it passed
+like a dark cloud over the sunshine of my hopes."
+
+"Take my advice," said the colonel, "and address Miss Mandeville at
+once."
+
+"Fool that I was!" exclaimed Fitzsimmons, "how could I be so utterly
+absurd--so devoid of all tact, as to reply to her unguarded _badinage_
+in a tone of reality! No wonder she looked so disconcerted, so shocked.
+At this moment, how she must hate me!"
+
+"I am not so sure of that," observed the colonel; "but take my advice,
+and let the _etourderie_ of this evening be repaired by the opening it
+affords you of disclosing your real feelings to the object of your
+love."
+
+"I cannot," replied Fitzsimmons, "I cannot, after what has passed, run
+the risk of giving farther offence to her delicacy."
+
+"Her delicacy," remarked the colonel, "may be more deeply offended by
+your delaying the disclosure. But we must separate for the present. If
+Miss Mandeville sees us talking together so earnestly, she may justly
+suppose herself the object of discussion."
+
+The two gentlemen parted; and Fitzsimmons, feeling it impossible to
+speak to Lucinda again that evening, and having no inclination to talk
+to any one else, withdrew from the ball, and passed two hours in
+traversing his own room.
+
+After the departure of her lover, Lucinda felt more at her ease;
+particularly as Colonel Kingswood was so considerate as to avoid
+approaching her. During the remainder of the evening, she exerted
+herself with such success as to recall a portion of her natural
+sprightliness, and of the habitual self-command that she had acquired
+from living in the world of fashion.
+
+Supper was announced. The ladies, persisting in their assumed
+characters, conducted the gentlemen to the table, where the profusion
+and variety of the delicacies that composed the feast, could only be
+equalled by the taste and elegance with which they were decorated and
+arranged. The belles filled the plates of the beaux, and poured out the
+wine for them; and many pretty things were said about ambrosia and
+nectar.
+
+At the conclusion of the banquet, the band in the orchestra, on a signal
+from some of the gentlemen, struck up the symphony to a favourite air
+that chiefly owes its popularity to the words with which Moore has
+introduced it into his melodies; and "To ladies' eyes a round, boys,"
+was sung in concert by all the best male voices in the room. The song
+went off with much eclat, and made a pleasant conclusion to the evening.
+
+After the belles had curtsied out the beaux, and retired to the
+cloak-room to equip themselves for their departure, they found the
+gentlemen all waiting to see them to their carriages, and assist in
+escorting them home: declaring that as the play was over, and the
+curtain dropped, they must be allowed to resume their real characters.
+
+When Lucinda Mandeville arrived at her own house, and found herself
+alone in her dressing-room, all the smothered emotions of the evening
+burst forth without restraint, and leaning her head on the arm of the
+sofa, she indulged in a long fit of tears before she proceeded to take
+off her ornaments. But when she went to her psyche for that purpose, she
+could not help feeling that hers was not a face and figure to be seen
+with indifference, and that in all probability the unguarded warmth with
+which Fitzsimmons had replied to her mock courtship, was only the
+genuine ebullition of a sincere and ardent passion.
+
+It was long before she could compose herself to sleep, and her dreams
+were entirely of the ball and of Fitzsimmons. When she arose next
+morning, she determined to remain all day up stairs, and to see no
+visiters; rejoicing that the fatigue of the preceding evening would
+probably keep most of her friends at home.
+
+About noon, Gordon Fitzsimmons, who had counted the moments till then,
+sent up his card with a pencilled request to see Miss Mandeville.
+Terrified, agitated, and feeling as if she never again could raise her
+eyes to his face, or open her lips in his presence, Lucinda's first
+thought was to reply that she was indisposed, but she checked herself
+from sending him such a message, first, because it was not exactly the
+truth, and secondly, lest he should suppose that the cause of her
+illness might have some reference to himself. She therefore desired the
+servant simply to tell Mr. Fitzsimmons that Miss Mandeville could
+receive no visiters that day.
+
+But Fitzsimmons was not now to be put off. He had been shown into one of
+the parlours, and going to the writing-case on the centre-table, he took
+a sheet of paper, and addressed to her an epistle expressing in the most
+ardent terms his admiration and his love, and concluding with the hope
+that she would grant him an interview. There was not, of course, the
+slightest allusion to the events of the preceding evening. The letter
+was conceived with as much delicacy as warmth, and highly elevated the
+writer in the opinion of the reader. Still, she hesitated whether to see
+him or not. Her heart said yes--but her pride said no. And at length she
+most heroically determined to send him a written refusal, not only of
+the interview but of himself, that in case he should have dared to
+presume that the unfortunate scene at the ball could possibly have meant
+anything more than a jest, so preposterous an idea might be banished
+from his mind for ever.
+
+In this spirit she commenced several replies to his letter, but found it
+impossible to indite them in such terms as to satisfy herself; and,
+after wasting half a dozen sheets of paper with unsuccessful beginnings,
+she committed them all to the fire. Finally, she concluded that she
+could explain herself more effectually in a personal interview, whatever
+embarrassment the sight of him might occasion her. But not being able at
+this time to summon courage to meet him face to face, she sent down a
+note of three lines, informing Mr. Fitzsimmons that she would see him in
+the evening at seven o'clock.
+
+Several of Lucinda's friends called to talk about the ball, but she
+excused herself from seeing them, and passed the remainder of the day up
+stairs, in one long thought of Fitzsimmons, and in dwelling on the
+painful idea that the avowal of his sentiments had, in all probability,
+been elicited by her indiscretion of the preceding evening. "But," said
+she to herself, "I will steadily persist in declining his addresses; I
+will positively refuse him, for unless I do so, I never can recover my
+own self-respect. I will make this sacrifice to delicacy, and even then
+I shall never cease to regret my folly in having allowed myself to be
+carried so far in the thoughtless levity of the moment."
+
+Being thus firmly resolved on dismissing her admirer, it is not to be
+supposed that Lucinda could attach the smallest consequence to looking
+well that evening, during what she considered their final interview.
+Therefore we must, of course, attribute to accident the length of time
+she spent in considering which she should wear of two new silk dresses;
+one being of the colour denominated _ashes of roses_--the other of the
+tint designated as _monkey's sighs_. Though ashes of roses seemed
+emblematic of an extinguished flame, yet monkey's sighs bore more direct
+reference to a rejected lover, which, perhaps, was the reason that she
+finally decided on it. There was likewise a considerable demur about a
+canezou and a pelerine, but eventually the latter carried the day. And
+it was long, also, before she could determine on the most becoming style
+of arranging her hair, wavering between plaits and braids. At last the
+braids had it.
+
+Mr. Fitzsimmons was announced a quarter before seven, his watch being
+undoubtedly too fast. Lucinda came down in ill-concealed perturbation,
+repeating to herself, as she descended the stairs, "Yes--my rejection of
+him shall be positive--and my adherence to it firm and inexorable."
+
+Whether it was so we will not presume to say, but this much is
+certain--that in a month from that time the delinquent gentlemen made
+the _amende honorable_ by giving the ladies a most splendid ball, at
+which the _ci-devant_ Miss Mandeville and Mr. Gordon Fitzsimmons made
+their first appearance in public as bride and bridegroom, to the great
+delight of Colonel Kingswood.
+
+
+
+
+THE RED BOX,
+
+OR,
+
+SCENES AT THE GENERAL WAYNE.
+
+A TALE.
+
+    ----"Just of the same piece
+    Is every flatterer's spirit."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+In one of the most beautiful counties of Pennsylvania, and in the
+immediate vicinity of the Susquehanna, stood an old fashioned country
+tavern, known by the designation of the General Wayne. Of its landlord
+and his family, and of some little incidents that took place within its
+precincts about forty years ago, it is our purpose to relate a few
+particulars.
+
+The proprietor of the house and of the fine farm that surrounded it, was
+by birth a New-Englander; and having served in Washington's army during
+the whole of the revolutionary war, he was still distinguished by the
+title of Colonel Brigham. When, on the return of peace, he resumed his
+original occupation of farming, he concluded to settle on the genial
+soil of Pennsylvania, and removed thither with his wife, their little
+daughter, and an adopted child named Oliver, a fine boy whom they
+boasted of loving equally with their own Fanny; that he was equally
+indulged admitted not of a doubt.
+
+As Oliver advanced to manhood he took the chief charge of the farm, and
+Mrs. Brigham with great difficulty prevailed on her husband to set up an
+inn; partly to give himself more occupation, and partly because his
+boundless hospitality in entertaining gratuitously all strangers that
+came into the neighbourhood, had become rather too much of a tax.
+
+Accordingly, a range of stalls for horses was erected at a short
+distance from the house, which was beautified with a new porch, running
+all along the front, and furnished with green benches. A village artist
+(who was not only a painter, but a glazier also) was employed to
+contrive a sign, which it was expected would surpass all that had ever
+been seen in the country; it being neither Buck nor Fox, neither Black
+Horse, Green Tree, Conestoga Wagon, or any of those every-day things.
+
+The painter's ideas were committed to board in the shape of the
+landlord's old commander, General Anthony Wayne. This effigy was
+evidently designed for that of a human being, but the artist had begun
+the upper part on so large a scale, that there was little or no room for
+the body and limbs; the gallant general looking as if crushed down by
+the weight of his hat and head. He stood upon a narrow strip of
+verdigris green, with his two heels together, and his toes wonderfully
+turned out. The facings of his coat, and all his under-clothes, were of
+gold. He wielded in one hand an enormous sword--the other held out a
+pistol in the act of going off--and he leaned on a cannon from whence
+issued a flash of scarlet fire, and a cloud of sky-blue smoke.
+
+It is true, that when the sign came home, the colonel made many
+objections to it, declaring that gold breeches had never been worn in
+the continental army, and that no man ever stood still leaning on a gun
+at the moment it was discharged--neither did he think it by any means a
+good likeness of General Wayne. But Mrs. Brigham reminded her husband
+that there was no use in telling all this to everybody, and that it
+might suit some people's ideas of General Wayne--adding, that she never
+saw a sign that _was_ a good likeness, except Timothy Grimshaw's White
+Lion, which looked exactly like Timothy himself.
+
+Oliver averred that the artist was certainly a liberal man, and had
+given them the full worth of their money, for beside the gilding, there
+was more paint on it than on any sign he had ever seen.
+
+Their neighbour, Tempy Walters, was, however, of opinion that they had
+been greatly overcharged, for that a man had painted her brother's
+cellar-door (which was considerably larger than this sign) for half the
+money. "To be sure," added Tempy, "there was no gold on the
+cellar-door--but it must have taken twice the paint."
+
+To be brief, the colonel dismissed the case by paying the artist rather
+more than he asked--telling him, also, that he should be glad to see him
+at his house whenever he chose to come, and that his visits should not
+cost him a cent.
+
+There never, perhaps, was a less profitable tavern than the General
+Wayne. The people of the neighbourhood were amazingly sober, and Mrs.
+Brigham allowed no tipplers to lounge about the bar-room or porch. The
+charges were so moderate as scarcely to cover the actual cost of the
+good things which were so profusely lavished on the table, and the
+family could not relinquish the habit of treating their guests as
+visiters and friends. Colonel Brigham always found some reason why such
+and such articles were not worth considering at all, and why such and
+such people could not afford to pay as well as he could afford to give
+them food and shelter. On soldiers, of course, he bestowed gratuitous
+entertainment, and was never more delighted than when he saw them
+coming. Pedlers and tinmen always took it--and emigrants on their way to
+the back settlements were invariably told to keep their money to help
+pay for their land.
+
+But though tavern-keeping did not realize the anticipations of Mrs.
+Brigham in operating as a check on the hospitality of her husband,
+still, as she said, it kept him about the house, and prevented him from
+heating and fatiguing himself in the fields, and from interfering with
+Oliver in the management of the farm--Oliver always doing best when left
+to himself. It must be understood that this youth, though virtually a
+dependant on the bounty of the Brighams, evinced as free and determined
+a spirit as if he had been literally "monarch of all he surveyed." He
+was active, industrious, frank to a fault, brave and generous; and would
+have fought at any moment in defence of any member of the family; or,
+indeed, for any member of any other family, if he conceived them to have
+been injured.
+
+Between Oliver and Fanny Brigham there was as yet no demonstration of
+any particular attachment. They had been brought up so much like brother
+and sister that they seemed not to know when to begin to fall in love.
+Fanny coquetted with the smart young men in the neighbourhood, and
+Oliver flirted with the pretty girls; not seeming to perceive that Fanny
+was the prettiest of all. The old people, however, had it very much at
+heart for a match to take place between the young people, as the best
+preventive to Oliver "going west" (a thing he sometimes talked of, in
+common with the generality of young farmers), and therefore they watched
+closely, and were always fancying that they detected symptoms of real
+_bona fide_ love. If the young people quarrelled, it was better so than
+that they should feel nothing for each other but mutual indifference. If
+they appeared indifferent, it was supposed that Fanny was modestly
+veiling her genuine feelings, and that Oliver was disguising his to try
+the strength of hers. If they talked and laughed together, they were
+animated by each other's society. If they were silent, they had the
+matter under serious consideration. If Fanny received with complaisance
+the civilities of a rural beau, and if Oliver devoted his attention to a
+rural belle, it was only to excite each other's jealousy. On one thing,
+however, the old people were agreed--which was, that it was best not to
+hurry matters. In this they judged from their own experience; for Mrs.
+Brigham had lost her first lover (a man that had come to see her every
+Wednesday and Saturday for five years and a half) because her father
+prematurely asked him what his intentions were. And Colonel Brigham had
+been refused no less than nine times, in consequence of "popping the
+question" at his first interview--a way he had when he was young.
+
+So equal, however, was their love for the two children (as they still
+continued to call them), so anxious were they to keep Oliver always with
+them, and so impossible did it seem to them to think of any other young
+man as a son-in-law, that they would have sacrificed much to bring about
+so desirable a conclusion. But we have been loitering too long on the
+brink of our story, and it is time we were fairly afloat.
+
+One clear, mild autumnal evening, Colonel Brigham (who for himself never
+liked benches) was occupying a few chairs in his front porch, and
+reading several newspapers; looking occasionally towards a cider-press
+under a large tree, round which lay a mountain of apples that a horse
+and a black boy were engaged in grinding. The colonel was habited in
+striped homespun trousers, a dark brown waistcoat with silver buttons,
+and no coat--but he took great pride in always wearing a clean shirt of
+fine country-made linen. As relics of his former military capacity, he
+persisted in a three-cocked hat and a black stock. He had joined the
+army in the meridian of life, and he was now a large, stout, handsome
+old man, with a clear blue eye, and silver gray hair curling on each
+side of a broad high forehead. Suddenly a stage that passed the house
+twice a week, stopped before the door. The only passengers in it were an
+old gentleman who occupied the back seat, and four young ones that sat
+on the two others, all with their faces towards him.
+
+"Can we be accommodated at this inn for a few days?" said the elder
+stranger, looking out at the side. Colonel Brigham replied in the
+affirmative, adding that just then there were no guests in the house.
+"So much the better," said the old gentleman; "I like the appearance of
+this part of the country, and may as well be here for a little while as
+any where else." And making a sign to the young ones, they all four
+scrambled out of the stage with such eagerness as nearly to fall over
+each other--and every one took a part in assisting him down the steps,
+two holding him by the hands, and two by the elbows. But as soon as his
+feet touched the ground, he shook them all off as if scattering them to
+the four winds. He was a small slender old man, but of a florid
+complexion, and showed no indication of infirm health, but the excessive
+care that he took of himself--being enveloped in a great coat, over it a
+fur tippet round his neck, and his hat was tied down with a silk
+handkerchief.
+
+"Sir, you are welcome to the General Wayne," said Colonel Brigham,
+"though I cannot say much for the sign. That was not the way brave
+Anthony looked at Stony Point. May I ask the favour of your name?"
+
+The stranger looked at first as if unaccustomed to this question, and
+unwilling to answer it. However, after a pause, he deigned to designate
+himself as Mr. Culpepper, and slightly mentioned the four young men as
+his nephews, the Mr. Lambleys. There was a family likeness throughout
+the brothers. They were all tall and slender--all had the same
+fawn-coloured hair, the same cheeks of a dull pink, the same smiling
+mouths habitually turned up at the corners, and faces that looked as if
+all expression had been subdued out of them, except that their
+greenish-gray eyes had the earnest intent look, that is generally found
+in those of dumb people.
+
+Mr. Culpepper was conducted into a parlour, where (though the evening
+was far from cold) he expressed his satisfaction at finding a fire. He
+deposited on the broad mantel-piece a small red morocco box which he had
+carried under his arm, and while his nephews (who had all been to see
+the baggage deposited) were engaged in disrobing him of his extra
+habiliments, he addressed himself to Colonel Brigham, whom he seemed to
+regard with particular complaisance.
+
+"Well, landlord," said he; "you are, perhaps, surprised at my stopping
+here?"
+
+"Not at all," said the colonel.
+
+"The truth is," pursued Mr. Culpepper, "I am travelling for my health,
+and therefore I am taking cross-roads, and stopping at out of the way
+places. For there is no health to be got by staying in cities, and
+putting up at crowded hotels, and accepting invitations to
+dinner-parties and tea-parties, or in doing anything else that is called
+fashionable."
+
+"Give me your hand, sir," said Colonel Brigham; "you are a man after my
+own heart!"
+
+The four Mr. Lambleys stared at the landlord's temerity, and opened
+their eyes still wider when they saw it taken perfectly well, and that
+their uncle actually shook hands with the innkeeper. This emboldened
+them to murmur something in chorus about their all disliking fashion.
+
+"And pray," said old Culpepper, "why should you do that? 'Tis just as
+natural for young people to like folly, as it is for old people to be
+tired of it. And I am certain you have never seen so much of fashion as
+to be surfeited with it already."
+
+The nephews respectfully assented.
+
+It had already come to the knowledge of Mrs. Brigham (who was busily
+occupied up stairs in filling with new feathers some pillow-ticks which
+Fanny was making) that a party of distinguished strangers had arrived.
+"Fanny, Fanny," she exclaimed, opening the door of the adjoining room,
+in which Fanny was seated at her sewing, "there are great people below
+stairs. Get fixed in a moment, and go down and speak to them. I am glad
+your father has had sense enough to take them into the front parlour."
+
+"But, mother," replied Fanny, "I saw them from the window when they got
+out of the stage. They are all men people, and I know I shall be
+ashamed, as they are quite strange to me, and I suppose are very great
+gentlemen. Won't it suit better for you to go?"
+
+"Don't you see how the feathers are all over me?" said Mrs. Brigham: "it
+will take me an hour to get them well picked off, and myself washed and
+dressed. Get fixed at once, and go down and let the strangers see that
+the women of the house have proper manners. If you think you'll feel
+better with something in your hands, make some milk punch, and take it
+in to them."
+
+Fanny's habitual neatness precluded any real necessity for an alteration
+in her dress--but still she thought it expedient to put on a new glossy
+blue gingham gown, and a clean muslin collar with a nicely plaited frill
+round it. This dress would have been very well, but that Fanny, in her
+desire to appear to great advantage, added a long sash of red and green
+plaid riband, and a large white satin bow deposited in the curve of her
+comb. Then, having turned herself round three or four times before the
+glass, to ascertain the effect, she descended the stairs, and in the
+entry met Oliver, who had just come in at the front door, and had seen
+from the barn-yard the arrival of the guests.
+
+"Fanny," said Oliver, "why have you put on that great white top-knot? It
+makes you look like one of the cockatoos in the Philadelphia Museum. Let
+me take it off."
+
+"Oh! Oliver, Oliver!" exclaimed Fanny, putting her hands to her head,
+"how you have spoiled my hair!"
+
+"And this long sash streaming out at one side," pursued Oliver, "how
+ridiculous it looks!" And he dexterously twitched it off, saying,
+"There, take these fly-traps up stairs--they only disfigure you. I
+thought so the other day when you wore them at Mary Shortstitch's sewing
+frolic. You are much better without them."
+
+"But I am _not_," said Fanny, angrily snatching them from his hand;
+"look how you've crumpled them up! Instead of finding fault with me for
+wishing to look respectfully to the strangers, you had best go and make
+yourself fit to be seen."
+
+"I always am fit to be seen," replied Oliver, "and you know very well
+that I always do put myself in order as soon as I have done my work. But
+as for dressing up in any remarkable finery on account of four or five
+strange men, it is not in my line to do so. If, indeed, there were some
+smart girls along, it would be a different thing: but it is not my way
+to show too much respect to any man."
+
+"I believe you, indeed," remarked Fanny.
+
+"Well, well," said Oliver, "your hair is pretty enough of itself--and
+you fix it so nicely that it wants no top-knot to set it off; and this
+party-coloured sash only spoils the look of your waist. I hate to see
+you make a fool of yourself."
+
+Fanny tossed her head in affected disdain, but she smiled as she ran up
+stairs to put away the offending ribands. She found her mother leaning
+down over the banisters, and looking very happy at Oliver's desire that
+Fanny should not make a fool of herself.
+
+Fanny, having prepared the milk-punch in the best possible manner,
+filled half a dozen tumblers with it, grating a profusion of nutmeg over
+each, and then arranged them on a small waiter. When she entered the
+parlour with it, Mr. Culpepper, who called himself a confirmed invalid,
+was engaged in giving her father a particular description of all his
+ailments; and the four nephews were listening with an air of intense
+interest, as if it was the first they had heard of them.
+
+"This is my daughter, Fanny," said Colonel Brigham, and Mr. Culpepper
+stopped short in his narrative, and his nephews all turned their eyes to
+look at her. When she handed the milk-punch the old gentleman declined
+it, alleging that the state of his health did not permit him to taste
+any sort of liquor. His nephews were going to follow his example, till
+he said to them peremptorily--
+
+"Take it--there is nothing the matter with any of you. If there is, say
+so."
+
+The Mr. Lambleys all rose to receive their tumblers, their uncle having
+made them a sign to that purpose, and Fanny thought herself treated with
+great respect, and curtsied, blushingly, to every one as he set down his
+glass.
+
+"From such a Hebe it is difficult to refuse nectar," said the old
+gentleman, gallantly.
+
+"A Hebe, indeed!" echoed the nephews.
+
+The uncle frowned at them, and they all looked foolish--even more so
+than usual.
+
+"Now, Fanny, my dear," said her father, "you may go out, and send in
+Oliver."
+
+"Mother," said Fanny, as she joined Mrs. Brigham in the pantry, "I like
+these strangers quite well. They were very polite indeed--but they
+called me _Phebe_--I wonder why?"
+
+When Oliver made his appearance, Colonel Brigham introduced him as "a
+boy he had raised, and who was just the same as a son to him." Mr.
+Culpepper surveyed Oliver from head to foot, saying, "Upon my word--a
+fine-looking youth! Straight--athletic--brown and ruddy--dark hair and
+eyes--some meaning in his face. See, young men--there's a pattern for
+you."
+
+The four Mr. Lambleys exchanged looks, and tried in vain to conceal
+their inclination to laugh.
+
+"Behave yourselves," said the uncle, in a stern voice.
+
+The nephews behaved.
+
+The supper table was now set, and Mr. Culpepper had become so gracious
+with his landlord, as to propose that he and his nephews should eat with
+the family during their stay. "That is what my guests always do," said
+Colonel Brigham; "and then we can see that all is right, and that they
+are well served."
+
+When supper came in, Mr. Culpepper declined leaving the fire-side; and
+having previously had some cocoa brought from one of his travelling
+boxes, and prepared according to his own directions, he commenced his
+repast on a small round table or stand, that was placed beside him,
+declaring that his evening meal never consisted of anything more than a
+little cocoa, sago, or arrow-root.
+
+But after taking a survey of the variety of nice-looking things that
+were profusely spread on the supper-table, the old gentleman so far
+broke through his rule, as to say he would try a cup of tea and a rusk.
+When Mrs. Brigham had poured it out, the four nephews, who at their
+uncle's sign manual had just taken their seats at the table, all started
+up at once to hand him his cup, though there was a black boy in
+attendance. The business was finally adjusted by one of the Mr. Lambleys
+taking the tea-cup, one the cream-jug, one the sugar-dish, and one the
+plate of rusk; and he of the cup was kept going all the time, first to
+have more water put into it, then more tea, then more water, and then
+more tea again. The invalid next concluded to try a cup of coffee, to
+counteract, as he said, any bad effects that might arise from the tea;
+and he ventured, also, on some well-buttered buckwheat cake and honey.
+He was afterwards emboldened to attempt some stewed chicken and milk
+toast, and finally finished with preserved peaches and cream.
+
+All these articles were carried to him by his nephews, jumping up and
+running with an _empressement_, that excited the amazement of Mrs.
+Brigham, the pity of Fanny, the smiles of her father, and the
+indignation of Oliver.
+
+The females retired with the supper equipage; and finding that Colonel
+Brigham had served in the war of independence, Mr. Culpepper engaged him
+in recounting some reminiscences of those eventful times; for the
+veteran had seen and known much that was well worth hearing.
+
+The Mr. Lambleys, unaccustomed to feel or to affect an interest in
+anything that was not said or done by their uncle, looked very weary,
+and at last became palpably sleepy. They all sat in full view, and
+within reach of old Culpepper, who, whenever he perceived them to nod,
+or to show any other indication of drowsiness, poked at them with his
+cane, so as effectually to rouse them for a time, causing them to start
+forward, and set their faces to a smile, stretching up their eyes to
+keep them wide open.
+
+At last the colonel, who was much amused by the absurdity of the scene,
+came to a full pause. "Go on," said Culpepper, "never mind their
+nodding. I'll see that they do not go to sleep."
+
+The colonel, out of compassion to the young men, shortened his story as
+much as possible, and finally, on Mrs. Brigham sending in the black boy
+with bed-candles, Mr. Culpepper looked at his watch, and rose from his
+chair. The nephews were all on their feet in a moment. One tied the old
+man's fur tippet round his neck, to prevent his taking cold in ascending
+the staircase, another put on his hat for him, and the two others
+contended for the happiness of carrying his cloak. "What are you about?"
+said Mr. Culpepper; "do not you see my greatcoat there on the chair?
+Take that, one of you."
+
+He bade good night, and the procession began to move, headed by Peter,
+the black boy, lighting them up stairs.
+
+As soon as they were entirely out of hearing, Colonel Brigham, who had
+with difficulty restrained himself, broke out into a laugh, but Oliver
+traversed the room indignantly.
+
+"I have no patience," said he, "with such fellows. To think that
+full-grown men--men that have hands to work and get their own living,
+should humble themselves to the dust, and submit to be treated as
+lacqueys by an old uncle (or, indeed, by anybody), merely because he
+happens to be rich, and they expect to get his money when he sees proper
+to die, which may not be these twenty years, for it is plain that
+nothing ails him. 'I'd rather be a dog and bay the moon,' as I once
+heard an actor say in the Philadelphia play-house. Now I talk of
+Philadelphia; I have engaged all our next barley to Wortley & Hopkins.
+They pay better than Maltman & Co. But these Lambleys, Sheepleys
+rather--I saw them from the barn, handing the old fellow out of the
+stage. I almost expected to see them lift his feet for him; I was glad
+he scattered them all as soon as he had got down the steps. I dare say
+if he rides on horseback, they all four run beside him and hold him on
+his horse. Now I talk of horses, I've concluded to keep the two bay
+colts, and raise them myself. Tom Martingale shall not have them for the
+price he offers. To see how these chaps fetch and carry, and rise up and
+sit down, just at that old fellow's beck. It would be harder work for me
+than following the plough from sunrise to sunset, were I obliged to do
+so. Now I talk of ploughing; I bought another yoke of oxen yesterday,
+and hired a Dutchman. I shall put the five-acre field in corn. That old
+villain! you may see by his eye that he is despising them all the time.
+Why should not he? ninnies as they are. I wonder where they all came
+from? I do not believe they are Americans."
+
+"And yet," said Colonel Brigham, "they do not speak like Englishmen, and
+I am sure they are neither Scotch nor Irish."
+
+"I hear them all pacing about up stairs in the old fellow's room," said
+Oliver; "think of four men putting one man to bed, or of any one man
+allowing four to do it. But 'their souls are subdued to what they work
+in,' as I heard another play-actor say. By-the-bye, the old rogue has
+forgotten his red box, and left it on the mantel-piece. I wonder what is
+in it?"
+
+"Maybe it is full of gold money," said Mrs. Brigham, who had just
+entered the room with Fanny; the daughter proceeding to put back the
+chairs, while the mother swept up the hearth.
+
+"Bank notes rather," said Oliver.
+
+"Jewels, I think," said Fanny.
+
+"Deeds of property, perhaps," said the colonel.
+
+"Well, well," said Mrs. Brigham, "'tis time for all good people to be in
+bed, so we'll let the strangers and their box rest till to-morrow."
+
+"I think," observed the colonel, "the box had best be carried up to
+them. Take it, Oliver."
+
+"I just heard the young men leave their uncle's room to go to their
+own," said Mrs. Brigham. "May be it won't do to disturb him, now he's in
+bed."
+
+"Then let it be taken to the young men," returned the colonel. "Where
+have you put them?"
+
+"I told Peter to show them all to the four-bedded room, at the other end
+of the house," answered Mrs. Brigham, "as they seemed to be alike in
+everything. I supposed they always prefer sleeping in the same place.
+All the four beds have exactly the same blue and white coverlets."
+
+"Well," said Oliver, "I'll take them the box as I pass their room on the
+way to my own. But I must go first to the stable, and see how Sorrel's
+foot is; I cannot be satisfied if I do not look at it once more
+to-night."
+
+The other members of the family now retired to their apartments, and
+Oliver took a lantern and went to the stable, to inspect again the state
+of the disabled horse.
+
+When the four Lambleys waited on their uncle out of the parlour, they
+all perceived that the old gentleman had for the first time forgotten to
+take the red morocco box with him, and they all exchanged glances to
+this effect, being used to each other's signs. After they had gone
+through the tedious process of seeing him to bed, and carefully folding
+up his numerous garments, they held a consultation in their own room;
+and, accustomed to acting in concert, they concluded that as soon as the
+house was quiet, they would all go down stairs together and bring up the
+red box. Fortunately for them, they knew Mr. Culpepper to be a sound
+sleeper (notwithstanding his constant assertions to the contrary), and
+that he always went to sleep as soon as he was in bed.
+
+When they came into the parlour, where all was now dark and silent, they
+set their candle on the table, and taking down the red box, one of them
+said, "At last we have an opportunity of satisfying ourselves."
+
+"Tis the first time," said another, "that the box has ever been out of
+the old villain's possession. How strange that he should not have missed
+it! He must have had something in his head more than usual to-night."
+
+"He even forgot to take his lozenges before he went to bed," said the
+third.
+
+"James," said the fourth, "did you slip the little key out of his under
+waistcoat pocket, as I signed to you to do while you were folding it
+up?"
+
+"To be sure I did," replied James, "here it is," (dangling it by the red
+ribbon that was tied to it). "But do _you_ open the box, George, for I
+am afraid."
+
+"Give me the key, then," said George, "for we have no time to lose."
+
+"What a lucky chance!" said Richard Lambley.
+
+"Now," said William, "we shall learn what we have been longing to
+discover for the last five years."
+
+The key was turned, and the box opened. A folded parchment lay within
+it, tied round with red tape. Each of the brothers simultaneously put
+out a hand to grasp it.
+
+"One at a time," said the elder, taking it out and opening it; "just as
+we suspected. It is the old fellow's will, regularly drawn up, signed
+and witnessed."
+
+They looked over each other's shoulders in intense anxiety, while the
+eldest of the brothers, in a low voice, ran over the contents of the
+parchment. There was a unanimous exclamation of surprise that amounted
+almost to horror, when, after the usual preamble, they came to some
+explicit words by which the testator devoted the whole of his property
+to the endowment of a hospital for idiots. They had proceeded thus far,
+when they were startled by the entrance of Oliver, who saw in a moment
+in what manner they were all engaged. They hastily folded up the will,
+and replaced it in the box, of which they directly turned the key,
+looking very much disconcerted.
+
+"I was coming," said Oliver, setting down his lantern, "to get that box
+and take it to you, that you might keep it safe for your uncle till
+morning. I have been detained at the stable longer than I expected,
+doing something for a lame horse."
+
+There was a whispering among the Lambleys.
+
+"Very well," said one of them to Oliver, "the box can stand on the
+mantel-piece till morning, and then when my uncle comes down he can get
+it for himself. He must not be disturbed with it to-night; and no doubt
+it will be safe enough here."
+
+The truth was, they were all justly impressed with the persuasion, that
+if Mr. Culpepper knew the box to have been all night in their room, he
+would believe, as a thing of course, that they had opened it by some
+means, and examined its contents. Servility and integrity rarely go
+together.
+
+They whispered again, and each advanced towards Oliver, holding out a
+dollar.
+
+"What is this for?" said Oliver, drawing back.
+
+"We do not wish you," said one of the Lambleys, "to mention to any one
+that you found us examining this box."
+
+"Why should I mention it?" replied Oliver; "do you suppose I tell
+everything I see and hear? But what is that money for?"
+
+"For you," said the Lambleys.
+
+"What am I to do for it?"
+
+"Keep our secret."
+
+Oliver started back, coloured to his temples, contracted his brows, and
+clenching his hands, said, "I think I could beat you all four. I am sure
+of it. I could knock every one of you down, and keep you there, one
+after another. And I will; too, if you don't put up that money this
+instant."
+
+The Lambleys quickly returned the dollars to their pockets, murmuring an
+apology; and Oliver paced the room in great agitation, saying, "I'll go
+west. I'll go to the backest of the back woods; nobody there will
+affront me with money."
+
+The Lambleys hastily replaced the red box on the mantel-piece, and
+taking an opportunity when Oliver, as he walked up and down, was at the
+far end of the room, with his back to them, they all stole past him, and
+glided up stairs, to talk over the discovery of the night.
+
+Having no longer the same motive for submitting to the iron rule of
+their uncle, they were eager to be emancipated from his tyranny, and
+they spent several hours in canvassing the manner in which this was to
+be effected. They had not candour enough to acknowledge that they had
+inspected the will, nor courage enough to break out into open rebellion;
+still, knowing what they now did, they feared that it would be
+impossible for them to persevere in their usual assiduities to Mr.
+Culpepper, for whom they could find no term that seemed sufficiently
+opprobrious.
+
+Habit is second nature. The morning found them, as usual, in their
+uncle's room to assist at his toilet, with all their accustomed
+submission. The one that had purloined the key of the red box, took care
+to contrive an opportunity of slipping it unperceived into the pocket,
+as he unfolded and handed Mr. Culpepper his under waistcoat.
+
+After he was shaved and dressed, and ready to go down stairs, the old
+gentleman suddenly missed the red box, and exclaimed, "Why, where is my
+box? What has gone with it? Who has taken it?"
+
+The nephews had all turned their faces to the windows, and were
+steadfastly engaged in observing the pigeons that were walking about the
+roof of the porch.
+
+"Where's my red box, I say?" vociferated the old man. "Go and see if I
+left it down stairs last night. A thing impossible, though.
+No--stay--I'll not trust one of you. I'll go down myself."
+
+He then actually _ran_ down stairs, and on entering the parlour where
+the breakfast table was already set, and the family all assembled, he
+espied the red box standing quietly on the mantel-piece.
+
+"Ah!" he ejaculated, "there it is. I feared I had lost it." And he felt
+in his waistcoat pocket to ascertain if the key was safe.
+
+To Mrs. Brigham's inquiry, of "how he had rested," Mr. Culpepper replied
+in a melancholy tone, that he had not slept a wink the whole night. On
+her asking if anything had disturbed him, he replied, "Nothing whatever;
+nothing but the usual restlessness of ill health." And he seemed almost
+offended, when she suggested the possibility of being asleep without
+knowing it.
+
+Though he assured the family, when he sat down, that he had not the
+slightest appetite, the bowl of sago which had been prepared by his
+orders was soon pushed aside, and his breakfast became the counterpart
+of his supper the night before.
+
+In taking their seats, the Lambleys, instead of their customary amicable
+contention, as to which of them should sit next their uncle, now, in the
+awkwardness of their embarrassment, all got to the other side of the
+table, and ranged themselves opposite to him in a row. Mr. Culpepper
+looked surprised, and invited Fanny and Oliver to place themselves
+beside him.
+
+The four young men were very irregular and inconsistent in their
+behaviour. As often as their uncle signified any of his numerous wants,
+their habitual sycophancy caused them to start forward to wait on him;
+but their recent disappointment with regard to the disposal of his
+wealth, and their secret consciousness of the illicit means they had
+made use of to discover the tenor of his will, rendered them unable to
+watch his countenance, and anticipate his demands by keeping their eyes
+on his face as heretofore.
+
+Their uncle saw that they were all in a strange way, and that something
+unusual was possessing them, and frequently in the midst of his talk
+with Colonel Brigham, he stopped to look at them and wonder. Something
+having reminded him of a certain ridiculous anecdote, he related it to
+the great amusement of the Brighams, who heard it for the first time.
+Mr. Culpepper, on looking over at his nephews, perceived that instead of
+laughing in concert (as they always did at this his favourite joke),
+they all appeared _distrait_, and as if they had not paid the slightest
+attention to it. He bent forward across the table, and fixing his keen
+eyes upon them, said, with a scrutinizing look, and in an under tone,
+"you have been reading my will."
+
+The poor Lambleys all laid down their knives and forks, turned pale, and
+nearly fell back in their chairs.
+
+"Don't expose yourselves farther," whispered Culpepper, leaning across
+to them, "I know you all;" and then turning to Colonel Brigham, he with
+much _sang froid_ pursued the conversation.
+
+Oliver (who alone of the family understood what was passing) began to
+feel much compassion for the poor young men. The scene became very
+painful to him, and finding that his aversion to the uncle was
+increasing almost beyond concealment, he hastily finished his coffee,
+and quitted the room.
+
+When breakfast was over, and they were all leaving the table, old
+Culpepper said aside to his nephews: "In founding a hospital for idiots,
+I still give you an opportunity of benefiting by my bounty."
+
+They reddened, and were about to quit the parlour, when their uncle,
+taking a chair himself, said to them: "Sit down, all of you." They
+mechanically obeyed, looking as if they were about to receive sentence
+of death. Fanny began to feel frightened, and glided out of the room;
+her mother having just followed the departure of the breakfast things.
+Colonel Brigham rose also to go, when Mr. Culpepper stopped him, saying:
+"Remain, my good friend. Stay and hear my explanation of some things
+that must have excited your curiosity."
+
+He then took down the red box. The nephews looked at each other, and a
+sort of whisper ran along the line, which ended in their all jumping up
+together, and bolting out at the door.
+
+Mr. Culpepper gazed after them awhile, and then turned towards Colonel
+Brigham, with a sardonic laugh on his face. "Well, well," said he, "they
+are right. It is refreshing to see them for once acting naturally. It
+was, perhaps, expecting too much, even of them, to suppose they would
+sit still and listen to all I was likely to say, for they know me well.
+Yet, if they had not read my will, they would not have dared to quit the
+room when I ordered them to remain."
+
+He then proceeded to relate that he was a native of Quebec, where, in
+early life, he had long been engaged in a very profitable commercial
+business, and had been left a widower at the age of forty. A few years
+afterwards, he married again. His second wife was a lady of large
+fortune, which she made over to him, on condition that he should take
+her family name of Culpepper. The Mr. Lambleys were the nephews of his
+wife, being the children of her younger sister. On the death of their
+parents, he was induced by her to give them a home in his house.
+
+The four Lambleys had very little property of their own, their father
+having dissipated nearly all that he had acquired by his marriage. They
+had been educated for professions, in which it was soon found that they
+had neither the ability nor the perseverance to succeed; their whole
+souls seeming concentrated to one point, that of gaining the favour of
+their uncle (who lost his second wife a few years after their marriage),
+and with this object they vied with each other in a course of
+unremitting and untiring servilities, foolishly supposing it the only
+way to accomplish their aim of eventually becoming his heirs.
+
+All that they gained beyond the payment of their current expenses, was
+Mr. Culpepper's unqualified contempt. He made a secret resolution to
+revenge himself on their duplicity, and to disappoint their mercenary
+views by playing them a trick at the last, and he had a will drawn up,
+in which he devised his whole property to the establishment of a
+hospital. This will he always carried about with him in the red morocco
+box.
+
+He had come to the United States on a tour for the benefit of his
+health, and also to satisfy himself as to the truth of all he had heard
+respecting the unparalleled improvement of the country since it had
+thrown off the yoke which his fellow-subjects of Canada were still
+satisfied to wear.
+
+"And now," continued Mr. Culpepper to his landlord, "you have not seen
+all that is in the red box. I know not by what presentiment I am
+impelled; but, short as our acquaintance has been, I cannot resist an
+unaccountable inclination to speak more openly of my private affairs to
+you, Colonel Brigham, than to any person I have ever met with. I feel
+persuaded that I shall find no cause to regret having done so. It is a
+long time since I have had any one near me to whom I could talk
+confidentially." And he added, with a sigh: "I fear that I may say with
+Shakspeare's Richard, 'there is no creature loves me.'"
+
+Mr. Culpepper then opened the red box, and took out from beneath the
+will and several other documents that lay under it, a folded paper,
+which he held in his hand for some moments in silence. He then gave it
+to Colonel Brigham, saying, "Do you open it; I cannot. It is more than
+twenty years since I have seen it."
+
+The Colonel unfolded the paper. It contained a small miniature of a
+beautiful young lady, in a rich but old-fashioned dress of blue satin,
+with lace cuffs and stomacher, her hair being drest very high, and
+ornamented with a string of pearls, arranged in festoons. Colonel
+Brigham looked at the miniature, and exclaimed in a voice of
+astonishment: "This is the likeness of Oliver's mother!"
+
+"Oliver's mother!" ejaculated Mr. Culpepper, in equal amazement;
+"Oliver--what, the young man that lives with you--that you call your
+adopted son? This is the miniature of my daughter, Elizabeth Osborne."
+
+"Then," replied the Colonel, "your daughter was Oliver's mother."
+
+"Where is she?" exclaimed Culpepper, wildly. "Is she alive, after
+all?--When I heard of her death I believed it.--Do you know where she
+is?"
+
+"She is dead," said Colonel Brigham, passing his hand over his eyes.--"I
+saw her die;--I was at her funeral.--I can bring you proof enough that
+this is the likeness of Oliver's mother.--Shall I tell my wife of this
+discovery?"
+
+"You may tell it to your whole family," answered Mr. Culpepper, throwing
+himself back in his chair.--"You are all concerned in it.--Why, indeed,
+should it be a secret?"
+
+Colonel Brigham left the room, and shortly after returned, conducting
+his wife, who was much flurried, and carried an enormously large
+pocket-book, worked in queen-stitch with coloured crewels. She was
+followed by Fanny, looking very pale, and bringing with her some sewing,
+by way of "having something in her hands." They found Mr. Culpepper with
+his face covered, and evidently in great agitation.
+
+"See," said Mrs. Brigham, sitting down before him, and untying the red
+worsted strings of the pocket-book, "here's the very fellow to that
+likeness." She then took out an exact copy of the miniature. There were
+also some letters that had passed between the father and mother of
+Oliver, previous to their marriage.
+
+"I keep these things in my best pocket-book," continued Mrs. Brigham;
+"husband gave them into my keeping, and when Oliver is twenty-one (which
+will not be till next spring), they are all to go to him."
+
+Mr. Culpepper gazed awhile at the miniature, and then turned over the
+letters with a trembling hand. "I see," said he, "that there is no flaw
+in the evidence. This is, indeed, a copy of my daughter's miniature.
+These letters I have no desire to read, for, of course, they refer to
+the plot that was in train for deceiving me. And they thought they had
+well succeeded. But their punishment soon came, in a life of privation
+and suffering, and in an early death to both. May such be the end of all
+stolen marriages!--Still, she was my daughter; my only child.--So much
+the worse; she should not have left me for a stranger."
+
+It was painful and revolting to the kind-hearted Brighams to witness the
+conflict between the vindictive spirit of this unamiable old man, and
+the tardy rekindling of his parental feelings. In a few moments he made
+an effort to speak with connexion and composure, and related the
+following particulars. After the unsuccessful attack on Quebec, by the
+gallant and ill-fated Montgomery, a young American officer, who had been
+severely wounded in the conflict, was brought into the city, and
+received the most kind and careful attendance from the family of a
+gentleman who had once been intimately acquainted with his father. The
+family who thus extended their hospitality to a suffering enemy, were
+the next-door neighbours of Mr. Culpepper, whose name was then Osborne.
+Captain Dalzel was a handsome and accomplished young man, and his case
+excited much interest among the ladies of Quebec, and in none more than
+in Miss Osborne, who, from her intimacy in the house at which he was
+staying, had frequent opportunities of seeing him during his long
+convalescence. A mutual attachment was the consequence, and it was kept
+a profound secret from her father, who had in view for her a marriage
+with a Canadian gentleman of wealth and consequence.
+
+When Captain Dalzel was about to return home on being exchanged, he
+prevailed on Miss Osborne to consent to a secret marriage. Mr. Culpepper
+acknowledged that on discovering it he literally turned his daughter out
+of doors, and sent back unopened a letter which she wrote to him from
+Montreal. From that time he never suffered her name to be mentioned in
+his presence; and he was almost tempted to consign to the flames a
+miniature of her, that had been painted for him by an English artist,
+then resident in Quebec. But a revulsion of feeling so far prevailed, as
+to prevent him from thus destroying the resemblance of his only child;
+and he put away the miniature with a firm resolution never to look at it
+again. Five years afterwards he heard accidentally of Captain Dalzel's
+having fallen in battle, and that Elizabeth had survived him but a few
+days.
+
+"And how did you feel when you heard this?" asked Colonel Brigham.
+
+"Feel," replied Culpepper, fiercely; "I felt that she deserved her fate,
+for having deceived her father, and taken a rebel for her husband, and
+an enemy's country for her dwelling-place."
+
+Fanny shuddered at the bitter and implacable tone in which these words
+were uttered, and the Brighams were convinced that, with such a parent,
+Miss Osborne's home could at no time have been a happy one.
+
+"But," continued old Culpepper, after a pause, "I will confess, that
+since I have been in your country, I have felt some 'compunctious
+visitings;' and I had determined not to leave the States without making
+some inquiry as to my daughter having left children."
+
+"She had only Oliver," replied Colonel Brigham.
+
+"The boy's features have no resemblance to those of his mother," said
+Culpepper; "still there is something in his look that at once
+prepossessed me in his favour. But tell me all that you know about his
+parents?"
+
+The colonel's narrative implied, that he had been well acquainted with
+Captain Dalzel, who was of the Virginia line, and who was mortally
+wounded at Yorktown, where he died two days after the surrender;
+consigning to the care of Colonel Brigham a miniature of his wife, which
+he said was procured before his marriage from an artist whom he had
+induced to copy privately one that he was painting for the young lady's
+father.
+
+The war being now considered as ended by the capture of Cornwallis and
+his army, Colonel Brigham repaired to Philadelphia, where her husband
+had informed him that Mrs. Dalzel was living in retired lodgings. He
+found that the melancholy news of Captain Dalzel's fate had already
+reached her; and it had caused the rupture of a blood-vessel, which was
+hurrying her immediately to the grave. She was unable to speak, but she
+pointed to her child (then about four years old), who was sobbing at her
+pillow. The colonel, deeply moved, assured her that he would carry the
+boy home with him to his wife, and that while either of them lived, he
+should never want a parent. A gleam of joy lighted up the languid eyes
+of Mrs. Dalzel, and they closed to open in this world no more.
+
+The anguish evinced by Mr. Culpepper at this part of the narrative, was
+such as to draw tears from Mrs. Brigham and Fanny. The colonel dwelt no
+further on the death of Mrs. Dalzel, but concluded his story in as few
+words as possible, saying that he carried the child home with him; that
+his wife received him gladly; and that not one of the relations of
+Captain Dalzel (and he had none that were of near affinity) ever came
+forward to dispute with him the charge of the boy. Captain Dalzel, he
+knew, had possessed no other fortune than his commission.
+
+When Colonel Brigham had finished his tale,----
+
+"Well," said Mr. Culpepper, making a strong effort to recover his
+composure, "perhaps I treated my daughter too severely, in continuing to
+cherish so deep a resentment against her. But why did she provoke me to
+it? However, the past can never be recalled. I must endeavour to make
+her son behave better to me. Where is Oliver? Let me see him
+immediately."
+
+He had scarcely spoken when Oliver entered the porch, accompanied by the
+four Lambleys, whom he had met strolling about lonely and uncomfortable,
+and he kindly offered to show them round the farm, not knowing what
+better he could do for them. They had just completed their tour; and
+though it was a beautiful farm, and in fine order, the Lambleys had
+walked over it without observing anything, being all the time engaged in
+inveighing bitterly to Oliver against their uncle. Oliver regarded them
+as so many Sinbads ridden by the Old Man of the Sea, and advised them to
+throw him off forthwith.
+
+"Come in, Oliver," said Colonel Brigham; "you are wanted here."
+
+Oliver entered the parlour, and the Lambleys remained in the porch and
+looked in at the windows, curious to know what was going on.
+
+"Come in, all of you," said Mr. Culpepper.
+
+They mechanically obeyed his summons, and entered the parlour.
+
+Mr. Culpepper then took Oliver by the hand, and said to him in a voice
+tremulous with emotion, "Young man, in me you behold your grandfather."
+
+Oliver changed colour, and started back, and Mr. Culpepper was deeply
+chagrined to see that this announcement gave him anything but pleasure.
+The story was briefly explained to him, and Mr. Culpepper added, "From
+this moment you may consider yourself as belonging to me. I like
+you--and I will leave my money to you rather than to found a hospital."
+
+"You had better leave it to these poor fellows, that have been trying
+for it so long," said Oliver, bluntly.
+
+The nephews all regarded him with amazement.
+
+"Hear me, Oliver," said Mr. Culpepper; "It is not merely because you are
+my grandson, and as such my legal heir--unless I choose to dispose of my
+property otherwise--but I took a fancy to you the moment I saw you, when
+I could not know that you were of my own blood. As to those fellows, I
+have had enough of them, and no doubt they have had enough of me. I have
+towed them about with me already too long. It is time I should cut the
+rope, and turn them adrift. No doubt they will do better when left to
+shift for themselves."
+
+The Lambleys exhibited visible signs of consternation.
+
+"Oliver," continued Mr. Culpepper, "prepare to accompany me to Canada.
+There you shall live with me as my acknowledged heir, taking the name of
+Culpepper, and no longer feeling yourself a destitute orphan."
+
+"I never have felt myself a destitute orphan," said Oliver, looking
+gratefully at Colonel and Mrs. Brigham, both of whom looked as if they
+could clasp him in their arms.
+
+"I promise you every reasonable enjoyment that wealth can bestow,"
+pursued Mr. Culpepper.
+
+"I have all sorts of reasonable enjoyments already," answered Oliver. "A
+fine farm to take care of; a capital gun; four excellent dogs; and such
+horses as are not to be found within fifty miles; fine fishing in the
+Susquehanna; plenty of newspapers to read, and some books too; frolics
+to go to, all through the neighbourhood; and now and then a visit to the
+city, where I take care to see all the shows."
+
+"Nonsense," said Mr. Culpepper; "what is all this compared to an
+introduction to the best society of Quebec?"
+
+"And what better than all this is done by the best society of Quebec?"
+inquired Oliver.
+
+Mr. Culpepper did not answer this question; but continued: "There is
+another consideration of still more consequence: As my grandson and
+heir, I can insure you an opportunity of marrying a lady of family and
+fortune."
+
+"I would rather marry Fanny," said Oliver.
+
+At this spontaneous and unequivocal announcement, Colonel and Mrs.
+Brigham each caught one of Oliver's hands, unable to conceal their joy.
+A flush passed over Fanny's face, and she half rose up, and then sat
+down again. At last she said, with sparkling eyes, and a curl of her
+lip, "How do you know that Fanny will have you?" And she pursued her
+work with such eagerness, that she forgot to replenish her needle, and
+went on sewing without a thread.
+
+There was a silence a few moments, and then Mr. Culpepper proceeded: "In
+short, Oliver, you must go with me to Canada, and settle there for
+life."
+
+"First listen to me," said Oliver, "for I am going to make a speech, and
+I intend to abide by it.--As to your being my grandfather, that is a
+thing I cannot help. You must not expect me to be taken with a sudden
+affection for you, and to feel dutiful all at once, when I never saw you
+in my life till yesterday. Maybe it might come after awhile; but that is
+quite a matter of doubt, as I fear we should never suit each other at
+all. Neither will I ever consent to go and live in Canada, and be under
+the rule of a king. My father died in trying to get free from one. I
+like my own country, and I like the way of living I am used to; and I
+like the good friends that have brought me up. And if Fanny won't have
+me, I dare say I can find somebody that will."
+
+The Brighams looked reproachfully at their daughter, who held down her
+head and gave her sewing such a flirt, that it fell from her hand on the
+floor and the Lambleys picked it up.
+
+"Another thing," proceeded Oliver to Mr. Culpepper, "this is your will,
+is it not?" (putting his hand on it as it lay beside the red box). "Now
+tell me if there are any legacies in it?"
+
+"Not one;" replied Mr. Culpepper, "the whole is left to endow a hospital
+for idiots. I knew nobody that deserved a legacy."
+
+"So much the worse," said Oliver, "it looks as if you had no friends.
+You had better make another will."
+
+"I intend to do so," replied Culpepper.
+
+"Then," said Oliver, "this is of no use; and the sooner there is an end
+of it the better;"--and he threw it into the fire, where it was
+instantly consumed.
+
+The Lambleys were so frightened at this outrageous act (for so it
+appeared to them), that they all tried to get out of the room. Mrs.
+Brigham spread her hands with a sort of scream; her husband could not
+help laughing; Fanny again dropped her work, and nobody picked it up.
+Mr. Culpepper frowned awfully; but he was the first to speak, and said,
+"Young man, how have you dared to do this?"
+
+"I can dare twice as much," replied Oliver;--"I have shot a bear face to
+face. One hard winter there were several found in the woods not ten
+miles off. Suppose, Mr. Culpepper, you were to die suddenly (as you
+possibly may in a fit or something), before you get your new will made!
+This would then be considered the right one, and your money after all
+would go to that idiot hospital."
+
+"You are the most original youth I have ever met with," said Culpepper;
+"I know not how it is; but the more you oppose me, the better I like
+you."
+
+The nephews looked astonished.
+
+"Still," observed Oliver, "it would never do for us to live together.
+For myself, I neither like opposing nor submitting; never having been
+used to either."
+
+"It is not possible," said Culpepper, "that you mean seriously to refuse
+my offer of protection and fortune?"
+
+"As to protection," replied Oliver; "I can protect myself. And as to
+fortune, I dare say I can make one for myself. And as to that other
+thing, the wife, I shall try to get one of my own sort--Fanny, or
+somebody else. And as to the name of Culpepper, I'll never take it."
+
+"And will you really not go with me to Canada?"
+
+"No! positively I will not. I believe, though, I ought to thank you for
+your offers, which I now do. No doubt they were well meant. But here I
+intend to stay, with the excellent people that took me when nobody else
+would, and that have brought me up as their own child. I know how sorry
+they would be were I to leave them, and yet they have had the
+forbearance not to say one word to persuade me to stay. So it is my firm
+determination to live and die with them."
+
+He then shook hands with each of the old Brighams, who were deeply
+affected, and threw their arms round him. Fanny, completely overcome,
+entirely off her guard, flew to Oliver, hid her face on his shoulder,
+and burst into tears. He kissed her cheek, saying, "Now, Fanny, I hope
+we understand each other;"--and Colonel Brigham put his daughter's hand
+into Oliver's.
+
+"So then," said Mr. Culpepper, "I have found a grandson but to lose him.
+Well, I deserve it."
+
+The nephews looked as if they thought so too.
+
+"What shall I do now?" continued the old man dolorously.
+
+"Take your nephews into favour again," said Oliver.
+
+"They never were in favour," replied the uncle.
+
+"At all events treat them like men."
+
+"It is their own fault. Why do they not behave as such?"
+
+The old gentleman walked about in much perturbation. At last he said to
+the Lambleys, "Young men, as you took a most nefarious method of
+discovering my intentions towards you, and as I never had a doubt
+respecting the real motive of all your obsequiousness to me, there is no
+use in attempting any farther disguise on either side. When masks are
+only of gauze, it is not worth while to wear them. Try then if you can
+be natural for a little while, till I see what can be done with you. You
+will find it best in the end. And now, I think, we will go away as soon
+as possible. The longer I stay here, the more difficult I shall find it
+to leave Oliver."
+
+To be brief.--Mr. Culpepper and his nephews departed in about an hour,
+in a vehicle belonging to the General Wayne, and which was to carry them
+to the nearest village from whence they could proceed to New York.
+
+At parting, Mr. Culpepper held out his hand and said, "Oliver, for once
+call me grandfather."
+
+Oliver pressed his hand, and said, "Grandfather, we part friends." The
+old gentleman held his handkerchief to his eyes, as he turned from the
+door, and his nephews looked nohow.
+
+In about a month, Oliver received a parcel from Mr. Culpepper,
+containing the little red morocco box, in which was a letter and some
+papers. The letter was dated from New York. The old gentleman informed
+his grandson, that he had been so fortunate as to engage the affections
+and obtain the hand of a very beautiful young lady of that city (the
+youngest of eight sisters, and just entering her seventeenth year), who
+had convinced him, that she married only from the sincerest love.
+Finding no farther occasion for his nephews, he had established them
+all in business in New York, where no doubt they would do better than in
+Canada. He sent Oliver certificates for bank stock to a considerable
+amount, and requested him, whenever he wanted more money for the
+enlargement or improvement of the farm, to apply to him without scruple.
+
+This letter arrived on the day of Oliver's marriage with Fanny; on which
+day the sign of the General Wayne was taken down, and the tavern became
+once more a farm-house only; Mrs. Brigham having been much troubled by
+the interruptions she sustained from customers, during her immense
+preparations for the wedding, and determining that on the great occasion
+itself, she would not be "put out" by the arrival of any guest, except
+those that were invited.
+
+Colonel Brigham, never having approved of the sign, was not sorry to see
+it removed; and Mrs. Brigham, thinking it a pity to have it wasted, made
+it do duty in the largest bedchamber as a chimney-board.
+
+In a few years the Colonel found sufficient employment for most of his
+time in playing with Fanny's children, and such was his "green old age,"
+that when upwards of seventy, he was still able to take the
+superintendence of the farm, while Oliver was absent at the seat of the
+state government, making energetic speeches in the capacity of an
+assembly-man.
+
+
+
+
+THE OFFICERS:
+
+A STORY OF THE LAST WAR WITH ENGLAND.
+
+    ----"All furnished, all in arms,
+    All plumed like estridges."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Sophia Clements had just arrived in Philadelphia on a visit to her
+sister, Mrs. Darnel, the widow of a merchant who had left his family in
+very affluent circumstances. The children were a son now settled in
+business at Canton, two very pretty daughters who had recently quitted
+school, and a boy just entering his twelfth year.
+
+Miss Clements, who (being the child of a second marriage) was twenty
+years younger than Mrs. Darnel, had resided since the death of her
+parents with an unmarried brother in New York, where her beauty and her
+mental accomplishments had gained her many admirers, none of whom,
+however, had been able to make any impression on her heart.
+
+Sophia Clements was but few years older than her gay and giddy nieces,
+who kindly offered to pass her off as their cousin, declaring that she
+was quite too young to be called aunt. But secure in the consciousness
+of real youth, she preferred being addressed by the title that properly
+belonged to her.
+
+This visit of Sophia Clements was in the last year of the second contest
+between England and America; and she found the heads of her two nieces
+filled chiefly with the war, and particularly with the officers. They
+had an infinity to tell her of "the stirring times" that had prevailed
+in Philadelphia, and were still prevailing. And she found it difficult
+to convince them that there was quite as much drumming and fifing in
+New York, and rather more danger; as that city, from its vicinity to the
+ocean, was much easier of access to the enemy.
+
+The boy Robert was, of course, not behind his sisters in enthusiasm for
+the "pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious war," and they were
+indebted to him for much soldier-news that they would not otherwise have
+had the felicity of knowing--his time, between school hours, being
+chiefly spent in collecting it.
+
+On the morning after Miss Clements's arrival, she and her nieces were
+sitting at their muslin work,--an occupation at that time very customary
+with the ladies, as no foreign articles of cotton embroidery were then
+to be purchased. There was much military talk, and frequent running to
+the window by the two girls, to look out at a passing recruiting party
+with their drum, and fife, and colours, and to admire the gallant
+bearing of the sergeant that walked in front with his drawn sword; for
+recruiting sergeants always have
+
+    "A swashing and a martial outside."
+
+"Certainly," said Harriet Darnel, "it is right and proper to wish for
+peace; but still, to say the truth, war-time is a very amusing time.
+Everything will seem so flat when it is over."
+
+"I fear, indeed," replied Miss Clements, smiling, "that you will find
+some difficulty in returning to the 'dull pursuits of civil life.'"
+
+"Aunt Sophy," said Caroline, "I wish you had been here in the summer,
+when we were all digging at the fortifications that were thrown up in
+the neighbourhood of the city, to defend it in case of an attack by
+land. Each citizen gave a day's work, and worked with his own hands.
+They went in bodies, according to their trades and professions, marching
+out at early dawn with their digging implements. They were always
+preceded by a band of music, playing Hail Columbia or Washington's
+March, and they returned at dusk in the same manner. We regularly took
+care to see them whenever they passed by."
+
+"The first morning," said Harriet, "they came along so very early that
+none of us were up till the sound of the music wakened us; and being in
+our night-clothes, we could only peep at them through the half-closed
+shutters; but afterwards, we took care to be always up and dressed in
+time, so that we could throw open the windows and lean out, and gaze
+after them till they were out of sight. You cannot think how affecting
+it was. Our eyes were often filled with tears as we looked at them--even
+though they were not soldiers, but merely our own people, and had no
+uniform."
+
+"All instances of patriotism, or of self-devotion for the general good,
+are undoubtedly affecting," observed Sophia.
+
+"Every trade went in its turn," pursued Harriet, "and every man of every
+trade, masters and journeymen--none stayed behind. One day we saw the
+butchers go, another day the bakers; also the carpenters and
+bricklayers, then the shoemakers and the tailors, the curriers and the
+saddlers, and the blacksmiths. Often two or three trades went together.
+There were the type-founders, and the printers, and the book-binders.
+The merchants also assisted, and the lawyers, and the clergymen of every
+denomination. Most of the Irishmen went twice--first, according to their
+respective trades, and again as Irishmen only, when they marched out
+playing 'St. Patrick's Day in the Morning.' The negroes had their day,
+also; and we heard them laughing and talking long before we saw them.
+Only imagine the giggling and chattering of several hundred negroes!"
+
+"Mr. and Mrs. Linley took us out in their carriage to see the
+fortifications," resumed Caroline. "It was the lawyers' day; and there
+were some of the principal gentlemen of the city, in straw hats and
+round jackets, and some in their waistcoats only, with their
+shirt-sleeves rolled up, digging with pickaxes and spades, and wheeling
+barrows full of sods. It was delightful to look at them."
+
+"There's a drum and fife again!" exclaimed Harriet. "See, see, Aunt
+Sophy, do look out; here's another recruiting party--and they have
+picked up four men, who have actually joined them in the street. How
+glad I am!"
+
+"Do come and look, aunt," said Caroline; "it is not the same party that
+passed a little while ago. I know it by the sergeant, who has darker
+hair and eyes than the other. This is Lieutenant Bunting's recruiting
+party. He has handbills on all the corners, headed: 'List, list--oh,
+list!'"
+
+"Aunt Sophy," said Harriet, as they resumed their seats, "you cannot
+imagine what a lively summer we have had!"
+
+"I can easily imagine," replied Sophia, "that you almost lived out of
+the window."
+
+"How could we do otherwise," answered Harriet, "when there was so much
+to look at, particularly during the alarm? Alarms are certainly very
+exciting."
+
+"Undoubtedly," observed Sophia; "but what was the alarm?"
+
+"Oh! there has been one long alarm all summer; and it is still going on,
+or our volunteers would not stay so long at Camp Dupont. But there, it
+seems, they may have to remain till winter drives the British away from
+the Capes."
+
+"I conclude," said Miss Clements, "the alarm _par excellence_ was when
+the enemy sailed up the Chesapeake to attack Baltimore, and there was an
+apprehension of their crossing over to Philadelphia."
+
+"The very time," answered Harriet. "We had a troop of horse
+reconnoitering on the Chesapeake. Their camp was at Mount Bull, near
+Elkton. They were all gentlemen, and they acted in turn as videttes. One
+of them arrived here every evening with despatches for General
+Bloomfield concerning the movements of the enemy--and they still come.
+You know last evening, soon after your arrival, one of the times that I
+ran to the window was to see the vidette[73] galloping along the street,
+looking so superbly in his light-horseman's uniform, with his pistols in
+his holsters, and his horse's feet striking fire from the stones."
+
+[Footnote 73: _Estafette_, we believe, is the proper term, but the
+military couriers of that period were always called _videttes_ by the
+citizens.]
+
+"Once," said Caroline, "we heard a galloping in the middle of the night,
+and therefore we all got up and looked out. In a few minutes the streets
+were full of men who had risen and dressed themselves, and gone out to
+get the news. I was sorry that, being women, we could not do the same.
+But we sent Bob--you don't know how useful we find Bob. He is versed in
+all sorts of soldiers and officers, and every kind of uniform, and the
+right way of wearing it. He taught us to distinguish a captain from a
+lieutenant, and an infantry from an artillery officer,--silver for
+infantry, and gold for artillery,--and then there is the staff uniform
+besides, and the dragoons, and the rifle officers, and the engineers. Of
+course, I mean the regular army. As to volunteers and militia, we knew
+them long ago."
+
+"But you are forgetting the vidette that galloped through the street at
+midnight," said Sophia.
+
+"True, aunt; but when one has so much to tell, it is difficult to avoid
+digressions. Well, then--this vidette brought news of the attack on
+Baltimore; and, by daylight, there was as much confusion and hustle in
+the town, as if we had expected the enemy before breakfast."
+
+"We saw all the volunteers march off," said Harriet, taking up the
+narrative. "They started immediately to intercept the British on their
+way to Philadelphia,--for we were sure they would make an attempt to
+come. We had seen from our windows, these volunteers drilling for weeks
+before, in the State House Yard. It is delightful to have a house in
+such a situation. My favourite company was the Washington Guards, but
+Caroline preferred the State Fencibles. I liked the close round jackets
+of the Guards, and their black belts, and their tall black feathers
+tipped with red. There was something novel and out of the common way in
+their uniform."
+
+"No matter," said Caroline, "the dress of the State Fencibles was far
+more manly and becoming. They wore coatees, and white belts, and little
+white pompons tipped with red; pompons stand the wind and weather much
+better than tall feathers. And then the State Fencibles were all such
+genteel, respectable men."
+
+"So were the Washington Guards," retorted Harriet, "and younger
+besides."
+
+"No, no," replied Caroline, "it was their short, boyish-looking jackets
+that gave them that appearance."
+
+"Well, well," resumed Harriet, "I must say that all the volunteer
+companies looked their very best the day they marched off in full
+expectation of a battle. I liked them every one. Even the blankets that
+were folded under their knapsacks were becoming to them. We saw some of
+the most fashionable gentlemen of the city shoulder their muskets and go
+off as guards to the baggage-wagons, laughing as if they considered it
+an excellent joke."
+
+"To think," said Caroline, "of the hardships they have to suffer in
+camp! After the worst of the alarm had subsided, many of the volunteers
+obtained leave of absence for a day or two, and came up to the city to
+visit their families, and attend a little to business. We always knew
+them in a moment by their sunburnt faces. They told all about it, and
+certainly their sufferings have been dreadful, for gentlemen. Standing
+guard at night, and in all weather,--sleeping in tents, without any
+bedsteads, and with no seats but their trunks,--cooking their own
+dinners, and washing their own dishes,--and, above all, having to eat
+their own awful cooking!"
+
+"But you forget the country volunteers," said Harriet, "that came
+pouring in from all parts of Pennsylvania. We saw them every one as they
+passed through the city on their way down to Camp Dupont. And really we
+liked _them_ also. Most of the country companies wore rifle-dresses of
+coloured cotton, trimmed with fringe; for instance, some had blue with
+red fringe, others green with yellow fringe; some brown with blue
+fringe. One company was dressed entirely in yellow, spotted with black.
+They looked like great two-legged leopards. We were very desirous of
+discovering who an old gray-haired man was that rode at the head. He was
+a fine-looking old fellow, and his dress and his horse were of the same
+entire gray. I shall never forget that man."
+
+"I shall never forget anything connected with the alarm," resumed
+Caroline. "There was a notice published in all the papers, and stuck up
+at every corner, telling what was to be done in case the enemy were
+actually approaching the city. Three guns were to be fired from the Navy
+Yard as a signal for the inhabitants to prepare for immediate danger.
+You can't think how anxiously we listened for those three guns."
+
+"I can readily believe it," said Miss Clements.
+
+"We knew some families," continued Caroline, "that, in anticipation of
+the worst, went and engaged lodgings in out-of-the-way places, thirty or
+forty miles from town, that they might have retreats secured; and they
+packed up their plate and other valuable articles, for removal at a
+short notice. We begged of mamma to let us stay through everything, as
+we might never have another opportunity of being in a town that was
+taken by the enemy; and as no gentleman belonging to us was in any way
+engaged in the war, we thought the British would not molest _us_. To say
+the truth, mamma took the whole alarm very coolly, and always said she
+had no apprehensions for Philadelphia."
+
+"Maria Milden was at Washington," observed Harriet, "when the British
+burnt the President's House and the Capitol, and she told us all about
+it, for she was so fortunate as to see the whole. Nobody seems to think
+they will burn the State House, if they come to Philadelphia. But I
+do--don't you, aunt Sophia? What a grand sight it would be, and how fast
+the State-House bell would ring for its own fire!"
+
+"We can only hope that they will always be prevented from reaching the
+city at all," replied Miss Clements.
+
+"But don't I hear a trumpet?" exclaimed Caroline; and the girls were
+again at the window.
+
+"Oh! that is the troop of United States dragoons that Bob admires so
+much," cried Harriet. "They have recruited a hundred men here in the
+city. I suppose they are on their way to the lines. Look, look, aunt
+Sophy,--now, you must acknowledge this to be a fine sight."
+
+"It is," said Sophia.
+
+"Only see," continued Harriet, "how the long tresses of white horse-hair
+on their helmets are waving in the wind; and see how gallantly they hold
+their sabres; and look at the captain as he rides at their head,--only
+see his moustaches. I hope that captain will not be killed."
+
+"But I shall be sorry if he is not wounded," said Caroline. "Wounded
+officers are always so much admired. You know, Harriet, we saw one last
+winter with his arm in a sling, and a black patch on his forehead. How
+sweetly he looked!"
+
+"Nay," said Harriet, "I cannot assent to that; for he was one of the
+ugliest men I ever saw, both face and figure, and all the wounding in
+the world would not have made him handsome."
+
+"Well, interesting then,"--persisted Caroline;--"you must own that he
+looked interesting, and that's everything."
+
+"May I ask," said Miss Clements, "if you are acquainted with any
+officers?"
+
+"Oh, yes," replied Harriet, "we meet with them sometimes at houses where
+we visit. How very unlucky it is that brother Francis happens to be
+living in Canton, just at this time of all others! If he were with us,
+we could go more into company, and his friends would visit at our
+house--and of course he would know a great many officers. But mamma is
+so very particular, and so very apprehensive about us, and she cannot
+herself be persuaded to go to any public places. I wish Bob were grown
+up."
+
+"We were very desirous," said Caroline, "of being among the young ladies
+who joined in presenting a standard, last October, to a regiment of
+infantry that was raised chiefly in the city, but mamma would not permit
+us. However, we saw the ceremony from a window. The young ladies who
+gave the standard were all dressed alike in white muslin frocks and long
+white kid gloves, with their hair plain and without ornament--they
+looked sweetly. The regiment had marched into town for the purpose,--for
+they were encamped near Darby. The young ladies with the flag stood on
+the steps of a house in Chestnut street, and the officers were ranged in
+front. She that held the standard delivered a short address on the
+occasion, and the ensign who received it knelt on one knee, and replied
+very handsomely to her speech. Then the drums rolled, and the band
+struck up, and the colours waved, and the officers all saluted the
+ladies."
+
+"In what way?" asked Sophia.
+
+"Oh, with their swords. A military salute is superb--Bob showed us all
+the motions. Look now, aunt Sophia, I'll do it with the fly-brush.
+That's exactly the way."
+
+"I have always considered a military salute extremely graceful," said
+Miss Clements.
+
+"But we have still more to tell about this regiment," continued
+Caroline. "You must know we spent a most delightful day in their
+camp--actually in their camp!"
+
+"And how did you happen to arrive at that pitch of felicity?" asked
+Sophia.
+
+"Oh!" replied Caroline, "we are, most fortunately for us, acquainted
+with the family of an officer belonging to this district, and they
+invited us to join them on a visit to the camp. Our friends had made
+arrangements for having a sort of picnic dinner there, and baskets of
+cold provisions were accordingly conveyed in the carriages. The weather
+was charming, for it was the Indian summer, and everything conspired to
+be so delightful. First we saw a review: how elegantly the officers
+looked galloping along the line,--and then the manoeuvres of the
+soldiers were superb,--they seemed to move by magic. When the review was
+over, the officers were all invited to share our dinner. As they always
+went to Darby (which was close by) for their meals, they had no
+conveniences for dining in camp; and the contrivances that were resorted
+to for the accommodation of our party caused us much amusement. The
+flies of two or three tents were put together so as to make a sort of
+pavilion for us. Some boards were brought, and laid upon barrels, so as
+to form a table; and for table-cloths we had sheets supplied by the
+colonel. We sat on benches of rough boards, similar to those that formed
+the table. Plates, and knives and forks, were borrowed for us of the
+soldiers. We happened to have no salt with us,--some, therefore, was
+procured from the men's pork-barrels, and we made paper salt-cellars to
+put it in. But the effect of our table was superb, all the gentlemen
+being in full uniform--such a range of epaulets and sashes! Their
+swords and chapeaux, which they had thrown under a tree, formed such a
+picturesque heap! The music was playing for us all the time, and we were
+waited upon by orderlies--think of having your plate taken by a soldier
+in uniform! Wine-glasses being scarce among us, when a gentleman invited
+a lady to take wine with him, she drank first, and gave him her glass,
+and he drank out of it--and so many pretty things were said on the
+occasion. After dinner the colonel took us to his tent, which was
+distinguished from the others by being larger, and having a flag flying
+in front, and what they called a picket fence round it. Then we were
+conducted all through the camp, each lady leaning on the arm of an
+officer: we almost thought ourselves in Paradise. For weeks we could
+scarcely bear to speak to a citizen--Mr. Wilson and Mr. Thomson seemed
+quite sickening."
+
+"What nonsense you are talking!" said Mrs. Darnel, who, unperceived by
+her daughters, had entered the room but a few moments before, and seated
+herself on the sofa with her sewing. "When you are old enough to think
+of marrying (the two girls smiled and exchanged glances), you may
+consider yourselves very fortunate if any such respectable young men as
+the two you have mentioned so disdainfully, should deem you worthy of
+their choice."
+
+"I have no fancy for respectable young men," said Harriet, in a low
+voice.
+
+"I hope you will live to change your opinion," pursued Mrs. Darnel. "I
+cannot be all the time checking and reproving; but my consolation is
+that when the war is over, you will both come to your senses,--and while
+it lasts the officers have, fortunately, something else to think of than
+courtship and marriage; and are seldom long enough in one place to
+undertake anything more than a mere flirtation."
+
+"For my part," said Miss Clements, "nothing could induce me to marry an
+officer. Even in time of peace to have no settled home; and to be
+transferred continually from place to place, not knowing at what moment
+the order for removal may arrive; and certainly in time of war my
+anxiety for my husband's safety would be so great as entirely to destroy
+my happiness."
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Darnel, "I wish, for a thousand reasons, that this war
+was over. Setting aside all more important considerations, the
+inconvenience it causes in our domestic concerns is too incessant to be
+trifling. We are not yet prepared to live comfortably without the aid
+of foreign importations. The price of everything has risen enormously."
+
+"That is very true, mamma," observed Harriet; "only think of having to
+give two dollars a yard for slight Florence silk; such silk as before
+the war _we_ would not have worn at all--but now we are glad to get
+anything,--and two dollars a pair for cotton stockings; cambric muslin a
+dollar and a half a yard--a dollar for a paper of pins--twenty-five
+cents for a cotton ball!"
+
+"And groceries!" resumed Mrs. Darnel; "sugar a dollar a pound--lemons
+half a dollar a piece!"
+
+"I must say," said Caroline, "I am very tired of cream of tartar
+lemonade. I find it wherever I go."
+
+"Well, all this is bad enough," said Harriet; "but somehow it does not
+make us the least unhappy, and certainly we are anything but dull."
+
+"And then it is so pleasant," remarked Caroline, "every now and then to
+hear the bells ringing, and to find that it is for a victory; and it is
+so glorious to be taking ship after ship from the British. Bob says he
+envied the New Yorkers the day the frigate United States brought in the
+Macedonian."
+
+"I own," said Miss Clements, "that the excitement of that day, can never
+be forgotten by those that felt it. It had been ascertained the evening
+before that these ships were off Sandy Hook, but in the morning there
+was a heavy fog which, it was feared, would prevent their coming up to
+the city. Nevertheless, thousands of people were assembled at daylight
+on the Battery. At last a sunbeam shone out, the fog cleared off with
+almost unprecedented rapidity, and there lay the two frigates at anchor,
+side by side--the Macedonian with the American colours flying above the
+British ensign. So loud were the acclamations of the spectators, that
+they were heard half over the city, and they ceased not, till both
+vessels commenced firing a salute."
+
+The conversation was finally interrupted by the arrival of some female
+visitors, who joined Mrs. Darnel in lamenting the inconveniences of the
+times. One fearing that if the present state of things continued, she
+would soon be obliged to dress her children in domestic gingham, and the
+other producing from her reticule a pattern for a white linen glove,
+which she had just borrowed with a view of making some for herself; kid
+gloves being now so scarce that they were rarely to be had at any
+price.
+
+A few evenings afterwards, our young ladies were invited to join a party
+to a ball; where Mr. Wilson and Mr. Thomson were treated with
+considerable indifference by the Miss Darnels; but being very
+persevering young men, they consoled themselves with the hope that _le
+bon temps viendra_. About the middle of the evening, the girls espied at
+a distance, among the crowd of gentlemen near the door, the glitter of a
+pair of silver epaulets.
+
+"There's a field-officer, Aunt Sophia," said Harriet: "he wears two
+epaulets, and is therefore either a major or a colonel. So I am
+determined to dance with him."
+
+"If you can," added Caroline.
+
+"How will you accomplish this enterprise?" asked Sophia.
+
+"Oh!" replied Harriet, "I saw him talking to Mr. Wilson, who, I suppose,
+has got acquainted with him somehow. So I'll first dance with poor
+Wilson, just to put him into a good humour, and I'll make him introduce
+this field-officer to me."
+
+All this was accomplished. She _did_ dance with Mr. Wilson--he _was_ put
+into a good humour; and when, half-laughing, half-blushing, she
+requested that he would contrive for her an introduction to the
+field-officer, he smiled, and, somewhat to her surprise, said at once,
+"Your wish shall be gratified," adding, "he fought bravely at
+Tippecanoe, and was rewarded with a commission in the regular service."
+
+Mr. Wilson then left her, and in a few minutes returned with the
+gentleman in question, whom he introduced as Major Steifenbiegen. The
+major was of German extraction (as his name denoted), and came
+originally from one of the back counties of Pennsylvania.
+
+When Harriet Darnel had a near view of him, she found that the
+field-officer, though a tall, stout man, was not distinguished by any
+elegance of figure, and that his features, though by no means ugly, were
+heavy and inexpressive, and his movements very much like those of a
+wooden image set in motion by springs. However, he was in full uniform,
+and had two epaulets, and wore the U. S. button.
+
+On being introduced by young Wilson to Harriet and her companions, the
+major bowed almost to the floor, as he gravely requested the honour of
+Miss Darnel's hand for the next set,--which he told her he was happy to
+say was a country-dance. On her assenting, he expressed his gratitude in
+slow and measured terms, and in a manner that showed he had been
+studying his speech during his progress across the ball-room.
+
+"Madam," said he, "will you have the goodness to accept my most obliged
+thanks for the two honours you are doing me; first, in desiring the
+acquaintance of so unworthy an object, and secondly, madam, in agreeing
+to dance with me? I have never been so much favoured by so fine a young
+lady."
+
+Harriet looked reproachfully at Mr. Wilson for having betrayed to Major
+Steifenbiegen her wish for the introduction; but Wilson afterwards took
+an opportunity of making her understand that she had nothing to fear;
+the field-officer being entirely guiltless of the sin of vanity--as far,
+at least, as regarded the ladies.
+
+In a few minutes a fair-haired, slovenly, but rather a handsome young
+man, in a citizen's old brown surtout, with an epaulet on his left
+shoulder, came up to Major Steifenbiegen, and slapping him on the back,
+said, "Well, here I am, just from Washington. I've got a
+commission,--you see, I've mounted my epaulet,--and the tailor is making
+my uniform. Who's that pretty girl you're going to dance with?" he
+added, in a loud whisper.
+
+"Miss Darnel," replied the major, drawing him aside, and speaking in a
+tone quite different from that in which he thought proper to address the
+ladies.
+
+"Is that her sister beside her--the one that's dressed exactly the
+same?"
+
+"I presume so."
+
+"You know it is--she's the prettiest of the two. So introduce me, and I
+declare I'll take her out."
+
+"I don't see how you can dance in that long surtout," observed the
+major.
+
+"Just as well as you can in those long jack-boots."
+
+"But I'm in full uniform," said the major, "and your dress is neither
+one thing nor t'other."
+
+"No matter for that," replied the youth, "I'm old Virginia, and am above
+caring about my dress. Haven't I my epaulet on my shoulder, to let
+everybody know I'm an officer?--and that's enough. Show me the girl that
+wouldn't be willing, any minute, to 'pack up her tatters and follow the
+drum.'"
+
+Major Steifenbiegen then introduced to the ladies Lieutenant Tinsley,
+who requested Miss Caroline Darnel's hand for the next dance. Caroline,
+consoling herself with the idea that _her_ officer, though in an old
+brown surtout and dingy Jefferson shoes, was younger and handsomer than
+Harriet's major, allowed him, as he expressed it, to carry her to the
+dance,--which, he did by tucking her hand under his arm, and walking
+very fast; informing her, at the same time, that he was old Virginia.
+
+Major Steifenbiegen respectfully took the tips of Harriet's fingers,
+saying, "Madam, I am highly obligated to you for allowing me the
+privilege of leading you by the hand to the dance: I consider it a third
+honour."
+
+"Then you are three by honours," said Tinsley.
+
+Miss Clements, who was too much fatigued by six sets of cotillions to
+undertake the "never-ending, still-beginning country-dance," remained in
+her seat, talking to her last partner, and regarding at a distance the
+proceedings of her two nieces and their military beaux.
+
+It is well known that during the war of 1812, commissions were sometimes
+bestowed upon citizens who proved excellent soldiers, but whose
+opportunities of acquiring the polish of gentlemen had been rather
+circumscribed. There were really a few such officers as Major
+Steifenbiegen and Lieutenant Tinsley.
+
+The Miss Darnels and their partners took their places near the top of
+the country-dance. While it was forming, each of the gentlemen
+endeavoured to entertain his lady according to his own way--the major by
+slowly hammering out a series of dull and awkward compliments, and the
+lieutenant by a profusion of idle talk that Caroline laughed at without
+knowing why; seasoned as it was with local words and phrases, and with
+boastings about that section of the Union which had the honour of being
+his birth-place.
+
+"Madam," said the major, "I think it is the duty of an officer--the
+bounden duty--to make himself agreeable, that is, to be perpetually
+polite, and so forth. I mean we are to be always agreeable to the
+ladies, because the ladies are always agreeable to us. Perhaps, madam, I
+don't speak loud enough. Madam, don't you think it is the duty of an
+officer to be polite and agreeable to the ladies?"
+
+"Certainly," answered Harriet, "of an officer and of all gentlemen."
+
+"Very true, madam," persisted the major, "your sentiments are quite
+correct. All gentlemen should be polite to the fair sex, but officers
+particularly. Not that I would presume to hint that they ought to be so
+out of gratitude, or that ladies are apt to like officers--I have not
+that vanity, madam--we are not a vain people--that is, we officers. But
+perhaps, madam, my conversation does not amuse you."
+
+"Oh! yes it does," replied Harriet, archly.
+
+"Well, madam, if it doesn't, just mention it to me, and I'll willingly
+stop,--the honour of dancing with so fine a young lady is sufficient
+happiness."
+
+"Well, Miss," said young Tinsley to Caroline, "you have but a stran_n_ge
+sort of dancing here to the north. I can't make out much with your
+cotillions. Before one has time to learn the figure by heart they're
+over; and as to your sash_a_y and balanj_a_y, I don't know which is
+which: I'm not good at any of your French capers--I'm old Virginia. Give
+me one of our own up-country reels--'Fire in the mountains,' or 'Possum
+up the gum tree,'--I could show you the figure in a minute, with
+ourselves and two chears."
+
+The dance had now commenced; and Major Steifenbiegen showed some signs
+of trepidation, saying to Miss Darnel, "Madam, will you allow me, if I
+may be so bold, to tax your goodness farther by depending entirely on
+your kind instructions as to the manoeuvres of the dance. I cannot
+say, madam, that I ever was a dancing character--some people are not.
+It's a study that I have but lately taken up. But with so fine a young
+lady for a teacher, I hope to acquit myself properly. I have been
+informed that Rome was not built in a day. Please, madam, to tell me
+what I am to do first."
+
+"Observe the gentleman above you," replied Harriet, "and you will see in
+a moment."
+
+The major did observe, but could not "catch the idea." The music was
+Fisher's Hornpipe, at that time very popular as a country-dance, and
+Major Steifenbiegen was at length made to understand that he was first
+to go down by himself, outside of the line of gentlemen, and without his
+partner, who was to go down on the inside. He set off on his lonely
+expedition with rather a _triste_ countenance. To give himself a wide
+field, he struck out so far into the vacant part of the room, that a
+stranger, entering at the moment, would have supposed that, for some
+misdemeanor, he had been expelled from the dance, and was performing a
+solitary _pas seul_ by way of penance. His face brightened, however,
+when a gentleman, observing that he took no "note of time," kindly
+recalled him to his place in the vicinity of Miss Darnel. But his
+perplexities were now increased. In crossing hands, he went every way
+but the right one, and the confusion he caused, and his formal
+apologies, were as annoying to his partner,--who tried in vain to
+rectify his mistakes,--as they were diverting to the other ladies. He
+ducked his head, and raised his shoulders every time he made a dive at
+their hands, lifting his feet high, like the Irishman that "rose upon
+sugan, and sunk upon gad."
+
+Harriet could almost have cried with vexation; but the worst was still
+to come, and she prepared for the crowning misery of going down the
+middle with Major Steifenbiegen. He no longer touched merely the ends of
+her fingers, but he grasped both her hands hard, as if to secure her
+protection, and holding them high above her head, he blundered down the
+dance, running against one person, stumbling over another, and looking
+like a frightened fool, while his uniform made him doubly conspicuous.
+The smiles of the company were irrepressible, and those at a distance
+laughed outright.
+
+When they came to the bottom, Harriet, who was completely out of
+patience, declared herself fatigued, and insisted on sitting down; and
+the major, saying that it was his duty to comply with every request of
+so fine a young lady, led her to Miss Clements, who, though pained at
+her niece's evident mortification, had been an amused spectator of the
+dance. The major then took his station beside Harriet, fanning her
+awkwardly, and desiring permission to entertain her till the next set.
+She hinted that it would probably be more agreeable to him to join some
+of his friends on the other side of the room; but he told her that he
+could not be so ungrateful for the numerous honours she had done him, as
+to prefer any society to hers.
+
+In the mean time, Caroline Darnel had fared but little better with
+Lieutenant Tinsley; and she was glad to recollect, for the honour of the
+army, that he was only an officer of yesterday, and also to hope (as was
+the truth) that he was by no means a fair sample of the sons of
+Virginia. He danced badly and ridiculously, though certainly not from
+embarrassment, romped and scampered, and was entirely regardless of _les
+bienseances_.
+
+When they had got to the bottom of the set, and had paused to take
+breath, the lieutenant began to describe to Caroline an opossum
+hunt--then told her how inferior was the rabbit of Pennsylvania to the
+"old yar"[74] of Virginia; and descanted on the excellence of their
+corn-bread, bacon, and barbecued chickens. He acknowledged, however,
+that "where he was raised, the whole neighbourhood counted on having the
+ague every spring and fall."
+
+[Footnote 74: Hare.]
+
+"Then why do they stay there?" inquired Caroline. "I wonder that any
+people, who are able to leave it, should persist in living in such a
+place."
+
+"Oh! you don't know us at all," replied Tinsley. "We are so used to the
+ague, that when it quits us, we feel as if we were parting with an old
+friend. As for me, I fit against it for a while, and then gave up;
+finding that all the remedies, except mint-juleps, were worse than the
+disease. I used to sit upon the _stars_ and shake, wrapped in my big
+overcoat, with my hat on, and the capes drawn over my head--I'm old
+Virginia."
+
+Like her sister, Caroline now expressed a desire to quit the dance and
+sit down, to which her partner assented; and, after conveying her to her
+party, and telling her: "There, now, you can say you have danced with an
+officer," he wheeled off, adding: "I'll go and get a _cigyar_, and take
+a stroll round the _squarr_ with it. There's so much noise here that I
+can't do my think."
+
+The major looked astonished at Tinsley's immediate abandonment of a lady
+so young and so pretty, and, by way of contrast, was more obsequious
+than ever to Harriet, reiterating the request which he had made her as
+they quitted the dance, to honour him with her hand for the next set;
+telling her that now, having had some practice, he hoped, with her
+instructions, to acquit himself better than in the last. Harriet parried
+his importunities as adroitly as she could; determined to avoid any
+farther exhibition with him, and yet unwilling to sit still, according
+to the usual ball-room penalty for refusing the invitation of a
+proffered partner.
+
+Both the girls had been thoroughly ashamed of their epauletted beaux,
+and had often, during the dance, looked with wistful eyes towards
+Messrs. Wilson and Thomson, who were very genteel young men, and very
+good dancers, and whose partners--two beautiful girls--seemed very happy
+with them.
+
+The major, seeing that other gentlemen were doing so, now departed in
+quest of lemonade for the ladies; and, taking advantage of his absence,
+Harriet exclaimed: "Oh, Aunt Sophy, Aunt Sophy! tell me what to do--I
+cannot dance again with that intolerable man, neither do I wish to be
+compelled to sit still in consequence of refusing him. I have paid
+dearly for his two epaulets."
+
+"My fool had but one," said Caroline, "and a citizen's coat beside,
+therefore my bargain was far worse than yours. I have some hope,
+however, that he has no notion of asking me again, and if he has, that
+he will not get back from his tour round the _squarr_ before the next
+set begins. I wish his cigar was the size of one of those candles, that
+he might be the longer getting through with it! Oh! that some one would
+ask me immediately!"
+
+"I am sure I wish the same," said Harriet.
+
+At that moment, they were gladdened by the approach of Mr. Harford, a
+very ugly little man, whose dancing and deportment were sufficiently
+_comme il faut_, and no more. And when he requested Caroline's hand for
+the next set, both the girls, in their eagerness, started forward, and
+replied: "With pleasure."
+
+Mr. Harford, not appearing to perceive that her sister had also accepted
+the invitation, bowed his thanks to Caroline, who introduced him to Miss
+Clements. Harriet, recollecting herself, blushed and drew back; while
+Sophia, to cover her niece's confusion, entered into conversation with
+the gentleman.
+
+Presently, Major Steifenbiegen came up with three or four glasses of
+lemonade on a waiter, and a plate piled high with cakes; all of which he
+pressed on the ladies with most urgent perseverance, evidently desirous
+that they should drain the last drop of the lemonade, and finish the
+last morsel of the cakes.
+
+As soon as they had partaken of these refreshments, Mr. Harford led
+Caroline to a cotillion that was arranging. While talking to him she
+felt some one twitch her sleeve, and turning round she beheld Lieutenant
+Tinsley.
+
+"So, miss," said he, "you have given me the slip. Well, I have not been
+gone long. My cigyar was not good, so I chuck'd it away in short order;
+and I came back, and have been looking all about; but seeing nobody
+prettier, I concluded I might as well take you out for this dance also.
+However, there's not much harm done, as I suppose you'll have no
+objection to dance with me next time; and I'll try to get up a Virginia
+reel."
+
+Caroline, much vexed, replied, "I believe I shall dance no more after
+this set."
+
+"What! tired already!" exclaimed Tinsley; "it's easy to see you are not
+old Virginia."
+
+"I hope so," said Caroline, petulantly.
+
+"Why, that's rather a quare answer," resumed Tinsley, after pondering a
+moment till he had comprehended the innuendo; "but I suppose ladies must
+be allowed to say what they please. Good evening, miss."
+
+And he doggedly walked off, murmuring, "After all, these Philadelphia
+girls are not worth a copper."
+
+When Caroline turned round again, she was delighted to perceive the
+glitter of his epaulet amidst a group of young men that were leaving the
+room; and the music now striking up, she cheerfully led off with good,
+ugly Mr. Harford, who had risen highly in her estimation as contrasted
+with Lieutenant Tinsley.
+
+Meanwhile, Harriet remained in her seat beside her aunt; the major
+standing before them, prosing and complimenting, and setting forth his
+humble opinion of himself; in which opinion the two ladies, in their
+hearts, most cordially joined him. Miss Clements, who had much tact,
+drew him off from her niece, by engaging him in a dialogue exactly
+suited to his character and capacity; while, unperceived by the major,
+Mr. Thomson stepped up, and, after the interchange of a few words, led
+off Harriet to a cotillion, saying, "Depend upon it, he is not
+sufficiently _au fait_ of the etiquette of a ball room to take offence
+at your dancing with me, after having been asked by him."
+
+"But, if he _should_ resent it----"
+
+"Then I shall know how to answer him. But rely upon it, there is nothing
+to fear."
+
+It was not till the Chace was danced, and the major, happening to turn
+his head in following the eyes of Miss Clements, saw Harriet gayly
+flying round the cotillion with Mr. Thomson, that he missed her for the
+first time,--having taken it for granted that she would dance with him.
+He started, and exclaimed--"Well, I certainly am the most faulty of
+men--the most condemnable--the most unpardonable officer in the army--to
+be guilty of such neglect--such rudeness--and to so fine a young lady. I
+ought never to presume to show myself in the best classes of society.
+Madam, may I hope that you will stand my friend--that you will help me
+to gain my pardon?"
+
+"For what?" asked Miss Clements.
+
+"For inviting that handsome young lady to favour me again with her hand,
+and then to neglect observing when the dance was about to begin, so that
+she was obliged to accept the offer of another gentleman. He, no doubt,
+stepped up just in time to save her from sitting still, which, I am
+told, is remarkably disagreeable to young ladies. Madam, I mean no
+reflection on you--I am incapable of any reflection on you--but (if I
+may be so bold as to say so) it was _your_ fine, sensible conversation
+that drew me from my duty."
+
+The set being now over, Major Steifenbiegen advanced to meet Mr. Thomson
+and Miss Darnel, and he accosted the former with--"Sir, give me your
+hand. Sir, you are a gentleman, and I am much obligated to you for
+sparing this young lady the mortification of not dancing with me."
+
+("You may leave out the 'not,'" murmured Harriet to herself.)
+
+"Of not enjoying the dance to which I had invited her, and of saving her
+from sitting still for want of a partner--all owing to my unofficer-like
+conduct in neglecting to claim her hand. I begin to perceive that I want
+some more practice in ball behaviour. I thank you again for your humane
+kindness to the young lady, which, I hope, will turn aside her anger
+from me."
+
+"Oh, yes!" said Harriet, almost afraid to speak lest she should laugh.
+
+"Will you favour me with your name, sir?" pursued the major.
+
+Mr. Thomson gave it, much amused at the turn that things had taken. The
+major, after admiring the name, said he should always remember it with
+esteem, and regretted that his having to set out for Plattsburgh early
+on the following morning would, for the present, prevent their farther
+acquaintance. He then made sundry other acknowledgments to Harriet for
+all the honours she had done him that evening, including her forgiveness
+of his "letting her dance without him,"--bowed to Caroline, who had just
+approached with Mr. Harford; and, going up to Miss Clements, he thanked
+her for her conversation, and finally took his departure. The girls did
+not laugh till he was entirely out of the room, though Harriet remarked
+that he walked edgeways, which she had not observed when he was first
+brought up to her; her fancy being then excited, and her perception
+blinded by the glitter of his two epaulets.
+
+"Well, Miss Darnel," said Mr. Wilson, who had just joined them, "how do
+you like your field-officer?"
+
+"Need you ask me?" replied Harriet. "In future I shall hate the sight of
+two silver epaulets."
+
+"And I of one gold one," added Caroline.
+
+"I will not trust you," said Mr. Thomson, with a smile.
+
+"We shall see," said Mr. Wilson.
+
+"Well, young ladies," observed Miss Clements, "you may at least deduce
+one moral from the events of the evening. You find that it _is_ possible
+for officers to be extremely annoying, and to deport themselves in a
+manner that you would consider intolerable in citizens."
+
+"It is intolerable in _them_, aunt," replied Harriet, "particularly when
+they are stiff and ungainly in all their movements, and dance
+shockingly."
+
+"And if they are conceited, and prating, and ungenteel," added Caroline.
+
+"Awkward in their expressions, and dull in their ideas," pursued
+Harriet.
+
+"Talking ridiculously and behaving worse," continued Caroline.
+
+"Come, come," said Sophia Clements, "candour must compel us to
+acknowledge that these two gentlemen are anything but fair specimens of
+their profession, which I am very sure can boast a large majority of
+intelligent, polished, and accomplished men."
+
+"Be that as it may," replied Harriet, "I confess that my delight in the
+show and parade of war, and my admiration of officers, has received a
+severe shock to-night. 'My thoughts, I must confess, are turned on
+peace.'"
+
+"I fear these pacific feelings are too sudden to be lasting," remarked
+Miss Clements, "and in a day or two we shall find that 'your voice is
+still for war.'"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The following morning the young ladies did more sewing than on any day
+for the last two years, sitting all the time in the back parlour. In the
+afternoon, Harriet read Coelebs aloud to her mother and aunt, and
+Caroline went out to do some shopping. When she came home, she told of
+her having stopped in at Mrs. Raymond's, and of her finding the family
+just going to tea with an officer as their guest. "They pressed me
+urgently," said she, "to sit down and take tea with them, and to remain
+and spend the evening; but I steadily excused myself, notwithstanding
+the officer."
+
+"Good girl!" said Sophia.
+
+"To be sure," added Caroline, "he was only in a citizen's dress."
+
+"Ah!" said Mrs. Darnel, "that materially alters the case. Had he been in
+uniform, I am sure your steadiness would have given way."
+
+In less than two days all their anti-military resolutions were overset,
+and the young ladies were again on the _qui vive_, in consequence of the
+promulgation of an order for the return of the volunteers from Camp
+Dupont, as, the winter having set in, the enemy had retired from the
+vicinity of the Delaware and Chesapeake. The breaking up of this
+encampment was an event of much interest to the inhabitants of
+Philadelphia, as there were few of them that had not a near relative, or
+an intimate friend among those citizen-soldiers.
+
+On the morning that they marched home all business was suspended; the
+pavements and door-steps were crowded with spectators, and the windows
+filled with ladies, eager to recognise among the returning volunteers
+their brothers, sons, husbands, or lovers,--who, on their side, cast
+many upward glances towards the fair groups that were gazing on them.
+
+The British General Riall, who had been taken prisoner at the battle of
+Niagara, chanced to be at a house on the road-side when this gallant
+band went by, on their way to Philadelphia. It is said that he remarked
+to an American gentleman near him, "You should never go to war with
+us--the terms are too unequal. Men like these are too valuable to be
+thrown away in battle with such as compose _our_ armies, which are
+formed from the overflowings of a superabundant population; while here I
+see not a man that you can spare."
+
+And he was essentially right.
+
+The volunteers entered the city by the central bridge, and came down
+Market street. All were in high spirits, and glad to return once more to
+their homes and families. But unfortunate were those who on that day
+formed the rear-guard, it being their inglorious lot to come in late in
+the afternoon, after the spectators had withdrawn, convoying, with
+"toilsome march, the long array" of baggage-wagons, which they had been
+all day forcing through the heavy roads of an early winter, cold, weary,
+and dispirited, with no music to cheer them, no acclamations to greet
+them. No doubt, however, their chagrin was soon dispelled, and their
+enjoyment proportionately great, when at last they reached their own
+domestic hearths, and met the joyous faces and happy hearts assembled
+round them.
+
+A few days after the return of the volunteers, Mrs. Darnel received a
+letter from an old friend of hers, Mrs. Forrester, a lady of large
+fortune, residing in Boston, containing the information that her son,
+Colonel Forrester, would shortly proceed to Philadelphia from the Canada
+frontier, and that she would accompany him, taking the opportunity of
+making her a long-promised visit. Mrs. Darnel replied immediately,
+expressive of the pleasure it would afford her to meet again one of the
+most intimate companions of her youth, and to have both Mrs. Forrester
+and the colonel staying at her house.
+
+The same post brought a letter to Sophia from Mr. Clements, her brother,
+in New York, who, after telling her of his having heard that Colonel
+Forrester would shortly be in Philadelphia, jestingly proposed her
+attempting the conquest of his heart, as he was not only a gallant
+officer, but a man of high character and noble appearance. Sophia showed
+this letter to no one, but she read it twice over,--the first time with
+a smile, the second time with a blush. She had heard much of Colonel
+Forrester, of whom "report spoke goldenly;" and several times in New
+York she had seen him in public, but had never chanced to meet him,
+except once at a very large party, when accident had prevented his
+introduction to her.
+
+Harriet and Caroline were almost wild with delight at the prospect of an
+intimate acquaintance with this accomplished warrior; but their joy was
+somewhat damped by the arrival of a second letter from Mrs. Forrester,
+in which she designated the exact time when she might be expected at the
+house of her friend, but said that her son, having some business that
+would detain him several weeks in Philadelphia, would not trespass on
+the hospitality of Mrs. Darnel, but had made arrangements for staying at
+a hotel.
+
+"He is perfectly right," said Sophia. "I concluded, of course, that he
+would do so. Few gentlemen, when in a city, like to stay at private
+houses, if they can be accommodated elsewhere."
+
+"At all events," said Harriet, "his mother will be with us, and he
+_must_ come every day to pay his duty to her."
+
+"That's some comfort," pursued Caroline; "and, no doubt, we shall see a
+great deal of him, one way or another."
+
+Sophia Clements, though scarcely conscious of it herself, felt a secret
+desire of appearing to advantage in the eyes of Colonel Forrester. Her
+two nieces felt the same desire, except that they made it no secret.
+They had worked up their imaginations to the persuasion that Colonel
+Forrester was the finest man in the army, and therefore the finest in
+the world, and they anticipated the delight of his being their frequent
+guest during the stay of his mother; of his morning visits, and his
+evening visits; of having him at dinner and at tea; of planning
+excursions with him to show Mrs. Forrester the lions of the city and its
+vicinity, when, of course, he would be their escort. They imagined him
+walking in Chestnut street with them, and sitting in the same box at the
+theatre. Be it remembered, that during the war, officers in the regular
+service were seldom seen out of uniform, and even when habited as
+citizens they were always distinguished by that "gallant badge, the dear
+cockade." Perhaps, also, Colonel Forrester and his mother might
+accompany them to a ball, and they would then have the glory of dancing
+with an officer so elegant as entirely to efface their mortification at
+their former military partners. We need not say that Messrs. Wilson and
+Thomson were again at a discount.
+
+The girls were taken with an immediate want of various new articles of
+dress, and had their attention been less engaged by the activity of
+their preparations for "looking their very best," the time that
+intervened between the receipt of Mrs. Forrester's last letter and that
+appointed for their arrival, would have seemed of length immeasurable.
+
+At last came the eve of the day on which these all-important strangers
+were expected. As they quitted the tea-table, one of the young ladies
+remarked:--
+
+"By this time to-morrow, we shall have seen Col. Forrester and his
+mother."
+
+"As to the mother," observed Mrs. Darnel, "I am very sure that were it
+not for the son, the expectation of _her_ visit would excite but little
+interest in either of you--though, as you have often heard me say, she
+is a very agreeable and highly intelligent woman."
+
+"We can easily perceive it from her letters," said Sophia.
+
+Mrs. Darnel, complaining of the headache, retired for the night very
+early in the evening, desiring that she might not be disturbed. Sophia
+took some needle-work, and each of the girls tried a book, but were too
+restless and unsettled to read, and they alternately walked about the
+room or extended themselves on the sofas. It was a dark, stormy
+night--the windows rattled, and the pattering of the rain against the
+glass was plainly heard through the inside shutters.
+
+"I wish to-morrow evening were come," said Harriet, "and that the
+introduction was over, and we were all seated round the tea-table."
+
+"For my part," said Caroline, "I have a presentiment that everything
+will go on well. We will all do _notre possible_ to look our very best;
+mamma will take care that the rooms and the table shall be arranged in
+admirable style--and if you and I can only manage to talk and behave
+just as we ought, there is nothing to fear."
+
+"I hope, indeed, that Colonel Forrester will like us," rejoined Harriet,
+"and be induced to continue his visits when he again comes to
+Philadelphia."
+
+"Much depends on the first impression," remarked Miss Clements.
+
+"Now let us just imagine over the arrival of Colonel and Mrs.
+Forrester," said Harriet.--"The lamps lighted, and the fires burning
+brightly in both rooms. In the back parlour, the tea-table set out with
+the French china and the chased plate;--mamma sitting in an arm-chair
+with her feet on one of the embroidered footstools, dressed in her
+queen's-gray lutestring, and one of her Brussels lace caps--I suppose
+the one trimmed with white riband. Aunt Sophia in her myrtle-green
+levantine, seated at the marble table in the front parlour, holding in
+her hand an elegant book--for instance, her beautiful copy of the
+Pleasures of Hope. Caroline and I will wear our new scarlet Canton
+crapes with the satin trimming, and our coral ornaments."
+
+"No, no," rejoined Caroline; "we resemble each other so much that, if we
+are dressed alike, Colonel Forrester will find too great a sameness in
+us. Do you wear your scarlet crape, and I will put on my white muslin
+with the six narrow flounces headed with insertion.[75] I have reserved
+it clean on purpose; and I think Aunt Sophia had best wear her last new
+coat dress, with the lace trimming. It is so becoming to her with a pink
+silk handkerchief tied under the collar."
+
+[Footnote 75: In those days, white muslin dresses were worn both in
+winter and summer.]
+
+"Well," said Harriet, "I will be seated at the table also, not reading,
+but working a pair of cambric cuffs; my mother-of-pearl work-box before
+me."
+
+"And I," resumed Caroline, "will be found at the piano, turning over the
+leaves of a new music-book. Every one looks their best on a music-stool;
+it shows the figure to advantage, and the dress falls in such graceful
+folds."
+
+"My hair shall be _a la Grecque_," said Harriet.
+
+"And mine in the Vandyke style," said Caroline.
+
+"But," asked Sophia, "are the strangers on entering the room to find us
+all sitting up in form, and arranged for effect, like actresses waiting
+for the bell to ring and the curtain to rise? How can you pretend that
+you were not the least aware of their approach till they were actually
+in the room, when you know very well that you will be impatiently
+listening to the sound of every carriage till you hear theirs stop at
+the door. Never, certainly, will a visiter come _less_ unexpectedly than
+Colonel Forrester."
+
+"But you know, aunt," replied Caroline, "how much depends on a first
+impression."
+
+"Well," resumed Harriet, "I have thought of another way. As soon as they
+enter the front parlour let us all advance through the folding doors to
+meet them,--mamma leading the van with Aunt Sophy, Caroline and I arm in
+arm behind."
+
+"No," said Caroline, "let us not be close together, so that the same
+glance can take in both."
+
+"Then," rejoined Harriet, "I will be a few steps in advance of you. You,
+as the youngest, should be timid, and should hold back a little; while
+I, as the eldest, should have more self-possession. Variety is
+advisable."
+
+"But I cannot be timid all the time," said Caroline; "that will require
+too great an effort."
+
+"We must not laugh and talk too much at first," observed Harriet; "but
+all we say must be both sprightly and sensible. However, we shall have
+the whole day to-morrow to make our final arrangements; and I think I am
+still in favour of the sitting reception."
+
+"Whether he has a sitting or a standing reception," said Caroline, "let
+the colonel have as striking a _coup d'oeil_ as possible."
+
+Their brother Robert had gone to the theatre by invitation of a family
+with whose sons he was intimate; and Sophia Clements, who was desirous
+of finishing a highly interesting book, and who was not in the least
+addicted to sleepiness, volunteered to sit up for him.
+
+"I think," said she, "as the hour is too late, and the night too stormy
+to expect any visiters, I will go and exchange my dress for a wrapper; I
+can then be perfectly at my ease while sitting up for Robert. I will
+first ring for Peter to move one of the sofas to the side of the fire,
+and to place the reading-lamp upon the table before it."
+
+She did so; and in a short time she came down in a loose double wrapper,
+and with her curls pinned up.
+
+"Really, Aunt Sophy," said Harriet, "that is an excellent idea.
+Caroline, let us pin our hair here in the parlour before the
+mantel-glass; that will be better still--our own toilet table is far
+from the fire."
+
+"True," replied Caroline, "and you are always so long at the
+dressing-glass that it is an age before I can get to it,--but here, if
+there were even four of us, we could all stand in a row and arrange our
+hair together before this long mirror."
+
+They sent up for their combs and brushes, their boxes of hair pins, and
+their flannel dressing-gowns, and placed candles on the mantel-piece,
+preparing for what they called "clear comfort;" while Sophia reclined on
+the sofa by the fire, deeply engaged with Miss Owenson's new novel. The
+girls, having poured some cologne-water into a glass, wetted out all
+their ringlets with it, preparatory to the grand curling that was to be
+undertaken for the morrow, and which was not to be opened out during the
+day.
+
+Harriet had just taken out her comb and untied her long hair behind, to
+rehearse its arrangement for the ensuing evening, when a ring was heard
+at the street-door.
+
+"That's Bob," said Caroline. "He is very early from the theatre; I
+wonder he should come home without staying for the farce."
+
+Presently their black man, with a grin of high delight, threw open the
+parlour-door, and ushered in an elegant-looking officer, who, having
+left his cloak in the hall, appeared before them in full uniform,--and
+they saw at a glance that it could be no one but Colonel Forrester.
+
+Words cannot describe the consternation and surprise of the young
+ladies. Sophia dropped her book, and started on her feet; Harriet
+throwing down her comb so that it broke in pieces on the hearth,
+retreated to a chair that stood behind the sofa with such precipitation
+as nearly to overset the table and the reading-lamp; and Caroline,
+scattering her hair-pins over the carpet, knew not where she was, till
+she found herself on a footstool in one of the recesses. Alas! for the
+_coup d'oeil_ and the first impression! Instead of heads _a la
+Grecque_, or in the Vandyke fashion, their whole _chevelure_ was
+disordered, and their side-locks straightened into long strings, and
+clinging, wet and ungraceful, to their cheeks. Instead of scarlet crape
+frocks trimmed with satin, or white muslin with six flounces, their
+figures were enveloped in flannel dressing-gowns. All question of the
+sitting reception, or the standing reception was now at an end; for
+Harriet was hiding unsuccessfully behind the sofa, and Caroline
+crouching on a footstool in the corner, trying to conceal a large rent
+which in her hurry she had given to her flannel gown. Resolutions never
+again to make their toilet in the parlour, regret that they had not
+thought of flying into the adjoining room and shutting the folding-doors
+after them, and wonder at the colonel's premature appearance, all passed
+through their minds with the rapidity of lightning.
+
+Sophia, after a moment's hesitation, rallied from her confusion; and her
+natural good sense and ease of manner came to her aid, as she curtsied
+to the stranger and pointed to a seat. Colonel Forrester, who saw at
+once that he had come at an unlucky season, after introducing himself,
+and saying he presumed he was addressing Miss Clements, proceeded
+immediately to explain the reason of his being a day in advance of the
+appointed time. He stated that his mother, on account of the dangerous
+illness of an intimate and valued friend, had been obliged to postpone
+her visit to Philadelphia; and that in consequence of an order from the
+war-office, which required his immediate presence at Washington, he had
+been obliged to leave Boston a day sooner than he intended, and to
+travel with all the rapidity that the public conveyances would admit. He
+had arrived about eight o'clock at the Mansion House Hotel, where a
+dinner was given that evening to a distinguished naval commander.
+Colonel Forrester had immediately been waited upon by a deputation from
+the dinner-table, with a pressing invitation to join the company; and
+this (though he did not then allude to it) was the reason of his being
+in full uniform. Compelled to pursue his journey very early in the
+morning, he had taken the opportunity, as soon as he could get away from
+the table, of paying his compliments to the ladies, and bringing with
+him a letter to Miss Clements from her brother, whom he had seen in
+passing through New York, and one from his mother for Mrs. Darnel.
+
+Grievously chagrined and mortified as the girls were, they listened
+admiringly to the clear and handsome manner in which the colonel made
+his explanation, and they more than ever regretted that all their
+castles in the air were demolished, and that after this unlucky visit he
+would probably have no desire to see them again, when he came to
+Philadelphia on his return from Washington.
+
+Sophia, who saw at once that she had to deal with a man of tact and
+consideration, felt that an apology for the disorder in which he had
+found them was to him totally unnecessary, being persuaded that he
+already comprehended all she could have said in the way of excuse; and,
+with true civility, she forbore to make any allusion which might remind
+him that his unexpected visit had caused them discomfiture or annoyance.
+Kindred spirits soon understand each other.
+
+The girls were amazed to see their aunt so cool and so much at her ease,
+when her beautiful hair was pinned up, and her beautiful form disfigured
+by a large wrapper. But the colonel had penetration enough to perceive
+that under all these disadvantages she was an elegant woman.
+
+Harriet and Caroline, though longing to join in the conversation, made
+signs to Sophia not to introduce them to the colonel, as they could not
+endure the idea of his attention being distinctly attracted towards
+them; and they perceived that in the fear of adding to their
+embarrassment he seemed to avoid noticing their presence. But they
+contrived to exchange signals of approbation at his wearing the staff
+uniform, with its golden-looking bullet buttons, and its shining star on
+each extremity of the coat skirts.
+
+Colonel Forrester now began to admire a picture that hung over the
+piano, and Sophia took a candle and conducted him to it, that while his
+back was towards them, the girls might have an opportunity of rising and
+slipping out of the room. Of this lucky chance they instantly and with
+much adroitness availed themselves, ran up stairs, and in a shorter time
+than they had ever before changed their dresses, they came back with
+frocks on,--not, however, the scarlet crape, and the six-flounced
+muslin,--and with their hair nicely but simply arranged, by parting it
+on their foreheads in front, and turning it in a band round their combs
+behind. Sophia introduced them to the colonel, and they were now able to
+speak; but were still too much discomposed by their recent fright to be
+very fluent, or much at their ease.
+
+In the mean time, their brother Robert had come home from the theatre;
+and the boy's eyes sparkled, when, on Miss Clements presenting her
+nephew, the colonel shook hands with him.
+
+Colonel Forrester began to find it difficult to depart, and he was
+easily induced to stay and partake of the little collation that was on
+the table waiting the return of Robert; and the ease and grace with
+which Sophia did the honours of their _petit souper_ completely charmed
+him.
+
+In conversation, Colonel Forrester was certainly "both sprightly and
+sensible." He had read much, seen much, and was peculiarly happy in his
+mode of expressing himself. Time flew as if
+
+    "----birds of paradise had lent
+    Their plumage to his wings,"
+
+and when the colonel took out his watch and discovered the lateness of
+the hour, the ladies _looked_ their surprise, and his was denoted by a
+very handsome compliment to them. He then concluded his visit by
+requesting permission to resume their acquaintance on his return from
+Washington.
+
+As soon as he had finally departed, and Robert had locked the door after
+him, the girls broke out into a rhapsody of admiration, mingled with
+regret at the state in which he had surprised them, and the entire
+failure of their first impression, which they feared had not been
+retrieved by their second appearance in an improved style.
+
+"Well," said Bob, "yours may have been a failure, but I am sure that was
+not the case with Aunt Sophia. It is plain enough that the colonel's
+impression of _her_ turned out very well indeed, notwithstanding that
+she kept on her wrapper, and had her hair pinned up all the time. Aunt
+Sophy is a person that a man may fall in love with in any dress; that
+is, a man who has as much sense as herself."
+
+"As I am going to be a midshipman," continued Robert, "there is one
+thing I particularly like in Colonel Forrester, which is, that he is not
+in the least jealous of the navy. How handsomely he spoke of the
+sea-officers!"
+
+"A man of sense and feeling," observed Sophia, "is rarely susceptible of
+so mean a vice as jealousy."
+
+"How animated he looked," pursued the boy, "when he spoke of Midshipman
+Hamilton arriving at Washington with the news of the capture of the
+Macedonian, and going in his travelling dress to Mrs. Madison's ball, in
+search of his father the secretary of the navy, to show his despatches
+to him, and the flag of the British frigate to the President, carrying
+it with him for the purpose. No wonder the dancing ceased, and the
+ladies cried."
+
+"Did you observe him," said Harriet, "when he talked of Captain
+Crowninshield going to Halifax to bring home the body of poor Lawrence,
+in a vessel of his own, manned entirely by twelve sea-captains, who
+volunteered for the purpose?"
+
+"And did not you like him," said Caroline, "when he was speaking of
+Perry removing in his boat from the Lawrence to the Niagara, in the
+thickest of the battle, and carrying his flag on his arm? And when he
+praised the gallant seamanship of Captain Morris, when he took advantage
+of a tremendous tempest to sail out of the Chesapeake, where he had been
+so long blockaded by the enemy, passing fearlessly through the midst of
+the British squadron, not one of them daring, on account of the storm,
+to follow him to sea and fight him."
+
+"The eloquence of the colonel seems to have inspired you all," said
+Sophia.
+
+"Aunt Sophy," remarked Caroline, "at supper to-night, did you feel as
+firm in your resolution of never marrying an officer, as you were at the
+tea-table?"
+
+"Colonel Forrester is not the only agreeable man I have met with,"
+replied Miss Clements, evading the question. "It has been my good
+fortune to know many gentlemen that were handsome and intelligent."
+
+"Well," said Robert, "one thing is plain enough to me, that Colonel
+Forrester is exactly suited to Aunt Sophy, and he knows it himself."
+
+"And now, Bob," said Sophia, blushing, "light your candle, and go to
+bed."
+
+"Bob is right," observed Harriet, after he had gone; "I saw in a moment
+that such a man as Colonel Forrester would never fancy _me_."
+
+"Nor me," said Caroline.
+
+Sophia kissed her nieces with more kindness than usual as they bade her
+good-night. And, they, retired to bed impatient for the arrival of
+morning, that they might give their mother all the particulars of
+Colonel Forrester's visit.
+
+In a fortnight, he returned from Washington, and this time he made his
+first visit in the morning, and saw all the ladies to the best
+advantage. His admiration of Sophia admitted not of a doubt. Being
+employed for the remainder of the winter on some military duty in
+Philadelphia, he went for a few days to Boston and brought his mother
+(whose friend had recovered from her illness), to fulfil her expected
+visit. The girls found Mrs. Forrester a charming woman, and, fortunately
+for them, very indulgent to the follies of young people. The colonel
+introduced to them various officers that were passing through the city,
+so that they really _did_ walk in Chestnut street with gentlemen in
+uniform, and sat in boxes with them at the theatre.
+
+Before the winter was over, Sophia Clements had promised to become Mrs.
+Forrester as soon as the war was at an end. This fortunate event took
+place sooner than was expected, the treaty having been made, though it
+did not arrive, previous to the victory of New Orleans. The colonel
+immediately claimed the hand of the lady, and the wedding and its
+preparations, by engaging the attention of Harriet and Caroline, enabled
+them to conform to the return of peace with more philosophy than was
+expected. The streets no longer resounded with drums and fifes. Most of
+the volunteer corps disbanded themselves--the army was reduced, and the
+officers left off wearing their uniforms, except when at their posts.
+The military ardour of the young ladies rapidly subsided--citizens were
+again at par--and Harriet and Caroline began to look with complacence on
+their old admirers. Messrs. Wilson and Thomson were once more in
+favour--and, seeing the coast clear, they, in process of time, ventured
+to propose, and were thankfully accepted.
+
+
+
+
+PETER JONES.
+
+A SKETCH FROM LIFE.
+
+     "Let the players be cared for."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+In the early part of the present century, there lived in one of the long
+streets in the south-eastern section of Philadelphia, a tailor, whom we
+shall introduce to our readers by the name of Peter Jones. His
+old-fashioned residence, which (strange to say) is yet standing, was not
+then put out of countenance by the modern-built structures that have
+since been run up on each side of it. There were, it is true, three or
+four new houses nearly opposite, all of them tenanted by genteel
+families--but Peter's side of the way (at least for the length of a
+square), was yet untouched by the hand of improvement, his own domicile
+being the largest and best in the row, and moreover of three stories--an
+advantage not possessed by the others. It had a square-topped door
+lighted by three small square panes--the parlour window (there was but
+one) being glazed to match, also with small glass and heavy wood work.
+The blue-painted wooden door-step was furnished with a very convenient
+seat, denominated the porch, and sheltered above by a moss-grown
+pent-house. The whole front of the mansion was shaded by an enormous
+buttonwood tree, that looked as if it had been spared from the primeval
+forest by the axe of a companion of William Penn. The house, indeed,
+might have been the country seat of one of the early colonists. Under
+this tree stood a pump of excellent water.
+
+Adjoining to the house was a little low blue frame, fronting also the
+street--and no ground speculator could pass it without sighing to think
+that so valuable a lot should be thus wasted. But Peter Jones owned both
+house and shop--his circumstances were comfortable, his tastes and
+ideas the reverse of elegant, and he had sense enough to perceive that
+in attempting a superior style of life he should be out of his element,
+and therefore less happy. Assisted at times by a journeyman, he
+continued to work at his trade because he was used to it, and that he
+might still have the enjoyment of making clothes for three or four
+veterans of the revolution; and also for two old judges, who had been in
+Congress in those sensible times when that well-chosen body acted more
+and talked less. All these sexagenarians, having been enamoured of Peter
+Jones's cut when he was the Watson of his day, still retained their
+predilection for it; liking also to feel at ease in their own clothes,
+and not to wear garments that seemed as if borrowed from "the sons of
+little men." These gentlemen of the old school never passed without
+stopping at the shop window to chat a few words with Peter; sometimes
+stepping in, and taking a seat on his green Windsor chair--himself
+always occupying the shop-board, whether he was at work or not.
+
+Our hero, though a tailor, was a tall, stout, ruddy, well-looking old
+man, having a fine capacious forehead, thinly shaded with gray hair,
+which was tied behind in a queue, and a clear, lively blue eye. He had
+acquired something of a martial air while assisting in the war of
+Independence, by making regimental coats--and no doubt this assistance
+was of considerable importance to the cause, it being then supposed that
+all men, even Americans, fight better, and endure hardships longer, when
+dressed in uniform.
+
+Peter Jones was a very popular man among his neighbours, being frank,
+good-natured, and clever in all manner of things. As soon as the new
+houses opposite were occupied, he made acquaintance with their
+inhabitants, who all regarded him as what is called a character; and he
+never abused the degree of familiarity to which they admitted him. He
+was considered a sort of walking directory--but when applied to, by a
+new settler, for the "whereabout" of a carpenter who might be wanted for
+a job, his usual answer was--"I believe I will bring over my saw and
+plane, and do it myself"--also, if a lock-smith or bell-hanger was
+inquired for, Peter Jones generally came himself, and repaired the lock
+or re-fixed the bell; just as skilfully as if he had been "to the manner
+born."
+
+He took several of the opposite gardens under his special protection,
+and supplied them with seeds and roots from his own stock. He was as
+proud of their morning-glories, queen margarets, johny-jump-ups,
+daffydowndillies (for so in primitive parlance he called all these
+beautiful flowers), as if they had been produced in his own rather
+extensive ground, which was always in fine order, and to see which he
+often invited his neighbouring fellow-citizens. In flower season, he was
+rarely seen without a sprig or two in one of the button-holes of his
+lengthy waistcoat, for in warm weather he seldom wore a coat except on
+Sundays and on the Fourth of July, when he appeared in a well-kept,
+fresh-looking garment of bottle-green with large yellow buttons, a very
+long body, and a broad, short skirt.
+
+His wife, Martha, was a plump, notable, quiet, pleasant-faced woman,
+aged about fifty-five, but very old-fashioned in looks and ideas. During
+the morning, when she assisted her servant girl, Mrs. Jones wore a
+calico short gown, a stuff petticoat, and a check-apron, with a close
+muslin cap--in the afternoon her costume was a calico long gown, a white
+linen apron, and a thinner muslin cap with brown ribbon; and on Sundays
+a silk gown, a clear muslin apron, and a still thinner and much larger
+cap trimmed with gray ribbon. Everything about them had an air of homely
+comfort, and they lived plainly and substantially. Peter brought home
+every morning on his arm an amply-filled market basket; but on Sundays
+their girl was always seen, before church time, carrying to the baker's
+a waiter containing a large dish that held a piece of meat mounted on a
+trivet with abundance of potatoes around and beneath, and also a huge
+pudding in a tin pan.
+
+Peter Jones, who proportioned all his expenses so as to keep an even
+balance, allowed himself and his wife to go once in the season to the
+theatre, and that was on the anniversary of their wedding, an event of
+which he informed his neighbours he had never found cause to repent.
+This custom had been commenced the first year of their marriage, and
+continued ever since; and as their plays were few and far between, they
+enjoyed them with all the zest of novices in the amusement. To them
+every actor was good, and every play was excellent; the last being
+generally considered the best. They were not sufficiently familiar with
+the drama to be fastidious in their taste; and happily for them, they
+were entirely ignorant of both the theory and practice of criticism. To
+them a visit to the theatre was a great event; and on the preceding
+afternoon the neighbours always observed symptoms of restlessness in
+Peter, and a manifest disinclination to settle himself to anything.
+Before going to bed, he regularly, on the eve of this important day,
+went round to the theatre to look at the bills that are displayed in the
+vestibule a night in advance; being too impatient to wait for the
+announcement in the morning papers. When the play-day actually came, he
+shut up his shop at noon, and they had an earlier and better dinner than
+usual. About three, Peter appeared in full dress with a ruffled shirt
+and white cravat, wandering up and down the pavement, going in and out
+at the front-door, singing, whistling, throwing up his stick and
+catching it, stopping every one he knew, to have a talk with them on
+theatricals, and trying every device to while away the intervening
+hours. At four, the tea-table was set, that they might get over the
+repast in good time, and, as Mrs. Jones said, "have it off their minds."
+
+The play-day was late in the spring, and near the close of the season;
+and while the sun was yet far above the horizon, Mr. and Mrs. Jones
+issued from their door, and walked off, arm-in-arm, with that peculiar
+gait that people always adopt when going to the theatre: he swinging his
+clouded cane with its ivory top and buckskin tassel, and she fanning
+herself already with a huge green fan with black sticks; and ambling
+along in her best shoes and stockings, and her annual silk gown, which,
+on this occasion, she always put on new.
+
+As they went but once a year, they determined on doing the thing
+respectably, and on having the best possible view of the stage;
+therefore they always took seats in an upper front box. Arriving so
+early, they had ample time to witness the gradual filling of the house,
+and to conjecture who was coming whenever a box door was thrown open. To
+be sure, Peter had frequent recourse to his thick, heavy, but unerring
+silver watch, and when he found that it still wanted three quarters of
+an hour of the time for the curtain to rise, his wife sagely remarked to
+him that it was better to be even two hours too early than two minutes
+too late; and that they might as well get over the time in sitting in
+the play-house as in sitting at home. Their faces always brightened
+exceedingly when the musicians first began to emerge from the subterrany
+below, and took their places in the orchestra. Mrs. Jones pitied
+extremely those that were seated with their backs to the stage, and
+amusing herself with counting the fiddles, and observing how gradually
+they diminished in size from the bass viol down; till her husband
+explained to her that they diminished up rather than down, the smallest
+fiddle being held by the boss or foreman of the band. Great was their
+joy (and particularly that of Peter), when the increasing loudness of
+the instruments proclaimed that the overture was about to finish; when
+glimpses of feet appearing below the green curtain, denoted that the
+actors were taking their places on the stage, when the welcome tingle of
+the long-wished-for bell turned their eyes exultingly to the upward
+glide of the barrier that had so long interposed between them and
+felicity.
+
+Many a listless and fastidious gentleman, having satiated himself with
+the theatre by the nightly use of a season ticket (that certain
+destroyer of all relish for dramatic amusements), might have envied in
+our plain and simple-minded mechanic the freshness of sensation, the
+unswerving interest, and the unqualified pleasure with which he regarded
+the wonders of the histrionic world.
+
+To watch Peter Jones at his annual play was as amusing as to look at the
+performance itself (and sometimes much more so), such was his earnest
+attention, and his vivid enjoyment of the whole; as testified by the
+glee of his laugh, the heartiness of his applause, and the energy with
+which he joined in an encore. If it chanced to be a tragedy, he consoled
+his wife in what she called the "forepart of her tears," by reminding
+her that it was only a play; but as the pathos of the scene increased,
+he always caught himself first wiping his eyes with the back of his
+hand; then blowing his nose, trumpetwise, with his clean bandanna
+pocket-handkerchief; and then calling himself a fool for crying. Like
+Addison's trunk-maker, he frequently led the clap; and on Peter Jones's
+night there was certainly more applause than usual. The kindness of his
+heart, however, would never allow him to join in a hiss, assuring those
+about him that the actors and the play-writers always did their best,
+and that if they failed it was their misfortune, and not their fault.
+
+That all the old observances of the theatre might be duly observed, he
+failed not to produce between the play and farce an ample supply of what
+children denominate "goodies," as a regale for Mrs. Jones and himself;
+also presenting them all round to every one within his reach; and if
+there were any little boys and girls in the vicinity, he always produced
+a double quantity.
+
+It is unnecessary to say that Mr. and Mrs. Jones always stayed to the
+extreme last; not quitting their seats till the curtain had descended to
+the very floor, and shut from their view, for another year, the bows
+and curtsies of the actors at the final of the _finale_ in the
+concluding scene of the after-piece. Then our happy old couple walked
+leisurely home, and had a supper of cold meat and pickles, and roasted
+potatoes; and talked of the play over the supper-table; and also over
+the breakfast-table next morning; and also to all their acquaintances
+for a month or two afterwards.
+
+In those days, when Peter Jones found the enjoyment of one play
+sufficient to last him a twelvemonth, the Philadelphia theatre was in
+its "high and palmy state." There was an excellent stock company, with a
+continual succession of new pieces, or judicious revivals of old ones of
+standard worth. The starring system, as it is called, did not then
+prevail. The performers, having permanent engagements, were satisfied to
+do their duty towards an audience with whose tastes they were familiar.
+Each actor could play an infinite number of parts--each singer could
+sing an infinity of songs--and all considered it a portion of their
+business to learn new characters, or new music.
+
+Having seen Mr. Bluster in Hamlet, Pierre, and Romeo, we were not
+expected, after a short interval, to crowd again to the theatre to
+applaud Mr. Fluster in Romeo, Pierre, and Hamlet. Having laughed
+sufficiently at Mr. Skipabout in Young Rapid, Bob Handy, and Rover, we
+were not then required, in the lapse of a few weeks, to laugh likewise
+at Mr. Tripabout in Rover, Bob Handy, and Young Rapid. Also, if we had
+been properly enraptured with Madam Dagolini Dobson in Rosina and
+Rosetta, we were not compelled, almost immediately, to re-prepare our
+_bravos_ and _bravissimas_ for Madame Jomellini Jobson in Rosetta and
+Rosina.
+
+The list of acting plays was not then reduced to about five comedies,
+and six tragedies; served out night after night, not in the alternate
+variety of one of each sort successively, but with a course of tragedy
+for a hero of the buskin, and a course of comedy for the fortunate man
+that was able to personate a lively _gentleman_. Neither were the lovers
+of vocal harmony obliged to content themselves with the perpetual
+repetition of four musical pieces, regularly produced, "when certain
+stars shot madly from their spheres" in the brilliant and _recherche_
+opera-houses of Europe (where princes and kings pay for a song in
+diamonds), to waste their glories on yankees, buckeyes, and tuckahoes,
+whose only idea of pay is in the inelegant form of things called
+dollars.
+
+It is true that in those days the machinery and decorations of the
+Philadelphia stage, and the costume of the actors, were far inferior to
+the _materiel_ of the present time; but there was always a regular
+company of sterling excellence, the pieces were various and well
+selected, and the audience was satisfied.
+
+Years had passed on, and Peter and Martha Jones were still "keeping the
+even tenor of their way," and enjoying the anniversary play with all
+their might, when a house on the other side of the street was taken by a
+respectable hair-dresser, whose window soon exhibited all the emblems of
+his profession, arranged with peculiar taste, and among them an unusual
+assortment of wigs for both sexes.
+
+Now, if Mrs. Jones had a failing (and who is perfect), it was in
+indulging a sort of anti-barber prejudice, very unaccountable,
+certainly--but so are most prejudices. This induced her rather to
+discourage all demonstrations of her husband's usual disposition to make
+acquaintance with the new neighbours, whom she set down in her own mind
+as "queer people"--a very comprehensive term. To be sure, Mr. Dodcomb's
+looks and deportment differed not materially from those of any other
+hair-dresser; but Peter Jones could not help agreeing that the
+appearance of his family were much at variance with the imputed virtues
+of the numerous beautifying specifics that were set forth in his shop.
+For instance, notwithstanding the infallibility of his lotions and
+emollients, and creams and pastes, the face and neck of Mrs. Dodcomb
+obstinately persisted in remaining wrinkled, yellow, speckled, and
+spotty. And in spite of Macassar oil, and bear's oil, and other certain
+promoters of luxuriant, soft, and glossy tresses, her locks continued
+scanty, stringy, stiff, and disorderly. By-the-bye, though there were
+"plenty more in the shop," she always wore a comb whose teeth were "few
+and far between."
+
+Though Mr. Dodcomb professed to cut hair in a style of unrivalled
+elegance, the hair of his children was sheared to the quick, their heads
+looking nearly as bald as if shaved with a razor; and this phrenological
+display was rather unbecoming to the juvenile Dodcombs, as their ears
+were singularly prominent and donkey-like. Then as to skin, the faces of
+the boys were sadly freckled, and those of the girls surprisingly coarse
+and rough.
+
+Mrs. Jones came to a conclusion that their new neighbour must be a
+remarkably close man, and unwilling to waste any of his stock in trade
+upon his own family; and Peter thought it would be more politic in Mr.
+Dodcomb to use his wife and children as pattern cards, exhibiting on
+their heads and faces the success of his commodities; which Mrs. Jones
+unamiably suspected to be all trash and trickery, and far inferior to
+plain soap and water.
+
+Things were in this state when election day came; and on the following
+morning Mr. Dodcomb came over to look at Mr. Jones's newspaper, and see
+the returns of the city and county; complaining that ever since he had
+lived in the neighbourhood, his own paper had been shamefully purloined
+from the handle of the door so early as before the shop was open. To
+steal a newspaper appeared to honest Peter the very climax of felony,
+for, as he said, it was stealing a man's sense and knowledge; and, being
+himself the earliest riser in the neighbourhood, he volunteered to watch
+for the offender. This he did by rising with the first blush of dawn,
+and promenading the pavement, stick in hand. It was not long before he
+discovered the abstractor in the person of an ever-briefless lawyerling,
+belonging to the only family in the neighbourhood who professed
+aristocracy, and discountenanced Peter Jones. And our indignant old hero
+saw "the young gentleman of rank" issue scarcely half dressed from his
+own door, pounce rapidly upon the newspaper, and carry it off. "Stop
+thief!--stop thief!" was loudly vociferated by Peter, who, brandishing
+his stick, made directly across the street, and the astonished culprit
+immediately dropped the paper, and took refuge in his own patrician
+mansion.
+
+As soon as the Dodcomb house was opened, Peter Jones went over with the
+trophy of his success. Mr. Dodcomb was profuse of thanks, making some
+remarkably handsome speeches on the occasion, and Peter went home and
+assured his wife that, though a barber, their new neighbour was a very
+clever man and well worth knowing. Mrs. Jones immediately saw things in
+their proper light, did not perceive that the Dodcombs were at all
+queerer than other people, concluded that they had a right to look as
+they pleased, and imputed their indifference to hair and cosmetics to
+the probability that they were surfeited with the sight of both; as
+confectioners never eat cakes, and shoemakers' families are said to go
+barefoot.
+
+The same evening, Mrs. Jones accompanied her husband to make a
+neighbourly visit to the Dodcombs, whom, to their great surprise, they
+found to be extremely _au-fait_ of the theatre; Mr. Dodcomb being barber
+to that establishment, and his sister-in-law, Miss Sarah Ann Flimbrey,
+one of the dressmakers.
+
+The progress of the intimacy between the Jones and Dodcomb families now
+increased rapidly, making prodigious strides every day. By the next
+week, which was the beginning of January, they had made up a party to go
+together to the theatre on New Year's night; Peter Jones having been
+actually and wonderfully over-persuaded to break through his
+time-honoured custom of going but once a twelvemonth. The Dodcombs had
+an irregular way of seeing the plays from between the scenes, from the
+flies over the stage, and from all other inconvenient and uncomfortable
+places where they could slip in "by virtue of their office;" but on New
+Year's night they always went in form, taking a front box up stairs,
+that their children might have an uninterrupted view of the whole show;
+Mr. Dodcomb on that evening employing a deputy to arrange the heads of
+the performers.
+
+Early on New Year's morning, Peter Jones put into the hands of his
+neighbour two dollars, to pay for the tickets of himself and wife; and
+during the remainder of the day (which, fortunately for him, was at this
+season a very short one) he had his usual difficulty in getting through
+the time.
+
+It was in vain that the Joneses were dressed at an early hour and had
+their usual early tea. The Dodcombs (to whom the theatre was no novelty)
+did not hurry with _their_ preparations, and on Peter going over to see
+if they were ready, he found them all in their usual dishabille, and
+their maid just beginning to set the tea-table. That people (under any
+circumstances) could be so dilatory with a play in prospect, presented
+to the mind of the astonished Peter a new view of the varieties of the
+human species. But as all things must have an end, so at last had the
+tea-drinking of the Dodcombs; and luckily their toilets did not occupy
+much time, for they only put themselves in full dress from their waist
+upward; to the great surprise of Mrs. Jones, who was somewhat
+scandalized at their oldish shoes and dirtyish stockings.
+
+To the utter dismay of the Joneses, the curtain, for the first time in
+their lives, was up when they arrived; and to this misfortune the
+Dodcombs did not seem to attach the least consequence, assuring them
+that in losing the first scene of a play they lost nothing.
+
+The five children were ranged in front, each of the three girls wearing
+a rose-bud on one side of her closely trimmed head, which rose-bud, as
+Mrs. Jones afterwards averred to her husband, must have been stuck there
+and held in its place by some hocus pocus, which no one but a play-house
+barber could contrive or execute. During the progress of the play, which
+was a melo-drama of what is called "thrilling interest," Peter Jones,
+who always himself paid the most exemplary attention to the scene before
+him, was annoyed to find that his wife was continually drawn in to talk,
+by the example of Mrs. Dodcomb and Miss Flimbrey, one of whom sat on
+each side of her, and who both kept up a running fire of questions,
+answers, and remarks during the whole of the performance--plays, as they
+said, being mere drugs to them.
+
+"How do you like that scarlet and gold dress?" said Mrs. Dodcomb.
+
+"Oh! it's beautiful!" replied Mrs. Jones, "and he's a beautiful man that
+wears it! What handsome legs he has?--and what a white neck for a
+man!--and such fine curly hair--"
+
+"You would not say so," said Mrs. Dodcomb, "if you were to see him in
+daylight without his paint, and without his chestnut wig (they have all
+sorts of wigs, even flax, tow, and yarn). His natural face and hair are
+both of the same clay-colour. As to his neck, it's nothing when it is
+not coated all over with whitening--and then his stage legs are always
+padded."
+
+"Mr. Jones, you are a judge of those things--what do you suppose that
+man's dress is made of?" asked Mr. Dodcomb.
+
+"Scarlet cloth and gold lace."
+
+"Fudge! it's only red flannel, trimmed with copper binding."
+
+"I'm sorry to hear that," observed Mrs. Jones--and during the remainder
+of the piece she designated him as "the man in the flannel jacket."
+
+"That's a pretty hat of his sweetheart's," she remarked, "that gauze hat
+with the long white feathers--how light and airy it looks!"
+
+Miss Flimbrey now giggled. "I made it myself, this morning," said she,
+"it's only thin catgut, with nothing at all outside--but at a distance,
+it certainly may be taken for transparent gauze."
+
+From this time Mrs. Jones distinguished the actress as "the woman with
+the catgut hat."
+
+The hero of the piece appeared in a new and magnificent dress, which was
+very much applauded, as new and showy dresses frequently are. It was a
+purple velvet, decorated profusely with gold ornaments, somewhat
+resembling rows of very large buttons; each button being raised or
+relieved in the centre, and having a flat rim round the edge. They went
+up all the seams of the back, and down the front of the jacket, and
+round the cuffs; and, being very bright and very close together, the
+effect was rich and unique. Also, one of them fastened the plume and
+looped up the hat, and two others glittered in the rosettes of the
+shoes.
+
+"Oh! how grand!--how very grand!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones. "This dress
+beats all the others!"
+
+"Upon my word, that trimming is fine," said Peter.
+
+"Ain't they big gold buttons, put very close together?" asked his wife.
+
+"Why, no," replied Peter. "They ain't buttons at all--not one of them.
+Surely I ought to know buttons, when they _are_ buttons. I can't make
+out these things exactly. But they're handsome, however."
+
+Mr. Dodcomb now began to laugh. "I'll tell you," said he, "the history
+of these new-fashioned ornaments. It was a bright idea of the actor's
+own when he was planning his new dress. He went to one of the great
+hardware stores in Market Street, and bought I don't know how many gross
+of those shining covers that are put over the screw-holes of bedsteads
+to hide the screws, and that are fastened on by a small thing at the top
+of each, like a loop, having a hole for a little screw, to fix them
+tight in their places. And these holes in the loops were just convenient
+for the needle to go through when they were sewed on to the dress. So
+you see what a good show they make now."
+
+"Of all contrivances!" exclaimed Peter. "To think that bed-screw covers
+should trim so well!"
+
+"Wonders will never cease!" ejaculated Mrs. Jones. And whenever the
+actor reappeared, she jogged her husband, and reminded him that "here
+came the man all over bed-screws."
+
+"What beautiful lace cuffs and collars all those gentlemen have, that
+are gallanting the ladies to the feast!" said Mrs. Jones.
+
+"Cut paper, my dear--only cut paper," replied Mrs. Dodcomb. "Sally
+Flimbrey cuts them out herself--don't you, Sally?"
+
+Miss Flimbrey (who was not proud), nodded in the affirmative--"You would
+never guess," said she, "my dear Mrs. Jones, what odd contrivances they
+have--did you observe the milk-maid's pail in the cottage scene?"
+
+"Yes--it was full to the brim of fine frothy new milk--I should like to
+have taken a drink of it."
+
+"You would have found it pretty hard to swallow, for it was only cotton
+wadding," said Miss Flimbrey.
+
+"Well now! if ever I heard the beat of that!" interjected Mrs. Jones.
+
+"How do you like the thunder and lightning?" said Mr. Dodcomb to Mr.
+Jones.
+
+"It's fine," replied Peter, "and very natural."
+
+"I'll tell you what it is," replied Dodcomb, "the lightning is made by
+sprinkling a handful of powdered rosin into a ladle heated over a pan of
+charcoal. A man stands between the scenes and does it whenever a flash
+is wanted. The thunder is produced by a pair of cannon balls joined
+across a bar to which is fixed a long wooden handle like the tongue of a
+child's basket wagon, and by this the balls are pushed and hauled about
+the floor behind the back scene."
+
+"Astonishing!" exclaimed Mr. Jones. "But the rattling of the
+rain--_that_ sounds just as if it was real."
+
+"The rain!" answered Mr. Dodcomb. "Oh, the rain is done by a tall wooden
+case, something on the plan of a great hour glass, lined with tin and
+filled half full with small shot, which when the case is set on end,
+dribbles gradually down and rattles as it falls."
+
+"Dear me," ejaculated Mrs. Jones, "what a wonderful thing is knowledge
+of the stage! I never _shall_ see a thunder-gust again (at the
+play-house, I mean) without thinking all the time of rosin and ladles,
+and cannon balls with long handles, and the dribbling of shot."
+
+"Then for snow," pursued Mr. Dodcomb, "they snip up white paper into
+shreds, and carry it up to the flies or beams and rafters above the
+stage, and scatter it down by handfuls."
+
+"You don't say so!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones--
+
+"Well--now the storm is over," said Mrs. Dodcomb, "and here is a castle
+scene by moonlight."
+
+"And a very pretty moon it is," observed Mrs. Jones, "all solemn and
+natural."
+
+"Not very solemn to me," said Mr. Dodcomb, "as I know it to be a bit of
+oiled linen let into a round hole in the back scene, with a candle put
+behind it."
+
+"Wonders will never cease!" ejaculated Mrs. Jones. "And there's an owl
+sitting up in that old tumble-down tower--how natural he blinks!"
+
+"Yes," said Mr. Dodcomb, "his eyes are two doors, with a string to each;
+and a man climbs up behind, and keeps jerking the doors open and letting
+them shut again--that's the way to make an owl blink. But here comes the
+bleeding ghost, that wanders about the ruins by moonlight."
+
+The children all drew back a little, and looked somewhat frightened; it
+happening to be the first ghost they had ever seen.
+
+"Dear me!" said Mrs. Jones, drawing her shawl closely round her, "what
+an awful sight a ghost is, even when we know it's only a play-actor!
+This one seem to have no regular clothes, but only those white fly-away
+things--how deadly pale it is--and just look at the blood, how it keeps
+streaming down all the time from that great gash in the breast!"
+
+"As to the paleness," explained Miss Flimbrey, "it's only that the face
+is powdered thick all over with flour; and as to what looks to you like
+blood, it's nothing but red ribbon, gathered a little full at the top
+where the wound is, and the ends left long to flow down the white
+drapery."
+
+"Why this beats all the rest!" exclaimed Mrs. Jones, "Well--I never
+_shall_ see a bloody ghost again without thinking of meal and red
+ribbon."
+
+Previous to the last act of the melo-drama, a man belonging to the
+theatre came and called Mr. Dodcomb out of the box to ask him if he
+would be so obliging as to go on the stage for a senator in the trial
+scene, one of the big boys that usually assisted in making out this
+august assemblage having unexpectedly run away and gone to sea. Mr.
+Dodcomb (who was not entirely unused to lending himself to similar
+emergencies) kindly consented; and, after returning to whisper the
+circumstance to his wife, he slipped out unobserved by the rest of the
+party. When the drop-curtain again rose, eight or ten senators, with
+venerable white wigs, were seen sitting in a sort of pews, and wearing
+pink robes and ermine capes; which ermine, according to Miss Flimbury,
+was only white paper spotted over with large regular splotches of ink at
+equal distances.
+
+Presently, on recognising their beloved parent among the conscript
+fathers, the Dodcomb children became rather too audible in expressing
+their delight, exclaiming: "Oh! there's pappy. Only see pappy on the
+stage. Don't pappy look funny?"
+
+The pit-people looked up, and the box-people looked round, and Mrs.
+Dodcomb tried to silence the children by threats of making them go home.
+Peter Jones quieted them directly by stopping their mouths with cakes
+from his well-stored pocket; thus anticipating the treat he had provided
+for them as a regale between the play and after-piece.
+
+The scene over, Mr. Dodcomb speedily got rid of his senatorial costume,
+and returned to the box in _propria persona_, where he was loudly
+greeted by his children, each insisting on being "the one that first
+found out their pappy among the men in wigs and gowns."
+
+"Well if ever!" exclaimed Mr. Jones. "There's no knowing what good's
+before us! Little did we expect when we came here to-night, that we
+should be sitting here in the same box with anybody that ever acted on
+the stage. I am so glad."
+
+The after-piece was the Forty Thieves, which Peter and Mrs. Jones had
+never seen before, and which had extraordinary charms for the old man,
+who in his youth had been well versed in the Arabian Tales. Giving
+himself up, as he always did, to the illusion of the scene, he could
+well have dispensed with the explanations of the Dodcombs, who began by
+informing Mrs. Jones that the fairy Ardanelle, though in her
+shell-formed car she seemed to glide through the water, was in reality
+pulled along by concealed men with concealed ropes.
+
+When the equestrian robbers appeared one by one galloping across the
+distant mountains, and Mrs. Jones had carefully counted them all to
+ascertain that there was the full complement of exactly forty, Miss
+Flimbrey laughed, and assured her that in reality there were only three,
+one mounted on a black, one on a bay, and one on a white horse, but they
+passed round and appeared again, till the precise number was
+accomplished. "And the same thing," said she, "is always done when an
+army marches across the stage, so that a few soldiers are made to seem
+like a great many."
+
+"You perceive, Mrs. Jones," said Mr. Dodcomb, "these robbers that ride
+over the distant mountains are not the real men; but both man and horse
+is nothing more than a flat thin piece of wood painted and cut out."
+
+On Peter remarking that there was certainly a look of life or reality in
+the near leg of each rider as it was thrown over the saddle, Mr. Dodcomb
+explained that each of these equestrian figures was carried by a man
+concealed behind, and that one arm of the man was thrust through an
+aperture at the top of the painted saddle; the arm that hung over so as
+to personate a leg, being dressed in a Turkish trowser, with a boot
+drawn on the hand.
+
+"Do you mean," said Peter, "that these men run along the ridge, each
+carrying a horse under his arm?"
+
+"Exactly so," replied Dodcomb, "the horse and rider of painted board
+being so arranged as to hide the carrier."
+
+"Well--I never did hear anything so queer," said Mrs. Jones, "I wonder
+how they can keep their countenances. But, there are so many queer
+things about play-acting. Dear me! what a pug-nose that cobbler has! Let
+me look at the bill and see who he is--why I saw the same man in the
+play, and his nose was long and straight."
+
+"Oh! when he wants a snub nose," replied Miss Flimbrey, "he ties up the
+end with a single horse-hair fastened round his forehead, and the horse
+hair is too fine to be seen by the audience."
+
+During the scene in which Morgiana destroys the thieves, one at a time,
+by pouring a few drops of the magic liquid into the jars in which they
+are hidden, Mrs. Jones found out of her own accord that the jars were
+only flat pieces of painted board; but Mrs. Dodcomb made her observe
+that as each of the dying bandits uttered distinctly his own separate
+groan, the sound was in reality produced from the orchestra, by he of
+the bass viol giving his bow a hard scrub across the instrument.
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Jones on her way home, "now that my eyes are opened, I
+must say there is a great deal of deception in plays."
+
+"To be sure there is," replied Peter, "and that we knew all along, or
+might have known if we had thought about it; but people that go to the
+theatre only once a year are quite willing to take things as they see
+them; and they have pleasure enough in the play itself and in what
+passes before their eyes, without wondering or caring about the
+contrivances behind the scenes. I never supposed their finery to be
+real, or their handsome looks either; but that was none of our business,
+as long as they appeared well to us--I said nothing to _you_, for I know
+if you were once put on the scent, you would be the whole time trying to
+find out their shams and trickeries."
+
+Next morning, while talking over the play in Peter's shop, Mr. Dodcomb
+kindly volunteered to procure for him and Mrs. Jones, bones or orders
+from the managers or chief performers, that would insure a gratuitous
+admission. Peter, much as he liked plays, demurred awhile about availing
+himself of this neighbourly offer, but the urgency of his wife prevailed
+on him to consent; and a day or two after, Mr. Dodcomb put into his hand
+two circular pieces of lettered ivory, which on giving them to the
+doorkeeper admitted Mr. and Mrs. Jones to the house for that evening;
+and thus, for the first time in their lives, they found themselves at
+the theatre twice in one week.
+
+In this manner they went again and again; and a visit to the theatre
+soon ceased to be an event. It was no longer eagerly anticipated, and
+minutely remembered. The sight of one play almost effaced the
+recollection of another. The edge of novelty was fast wearing off, and
+the sense of enjoyment becoming blunted in proportion. Weariness crept
+upon them with satiety, and they sometimes even went home before the
+concluding scene of the farce, and at last they did not even stay to see
+the first. Often they caught themselves nodding shamefully during the
+most moral and instructive dialogues of sentimental comedy, and they
+actually slept a duett through the four first acts of the Gamester, in
+which, however, they were accompanied by a large portion of the
+audience.
+
+Their friends the Dodcombs escorted them one afternoon all through the
+interior of the theatre, so that they obtained a full comprehension of
+the whole paraphernalia, with all its illusions and realities; and of
+this knowledge Mrs. Jones made ample use in her comments at night during
+the performance.
+
+As Peter's enjoyment of the drama grew less, he became more fastidious,
+particularly as to the ways and means that were employed to produce
+effect. He now saw the ridicule of the armies of the rival roses being
+represented by half a dozen men, who when they belonged to King Richard
+were distinguished by white stockings, but clapped on red ones when, in
+the next scene, they personated the forces of Richmond. The theatrical
+vision of our hero being cleared and refined, he ceased to perceive a
+moving forest when the progress of Birnam Wood to Dunsinane was
+represented by six or seven men in plaid kilts, each holding up before
+his face, fan-wise, a little bunch of withered pine twigs. He now
+discovered that the proper place for the ghost of Banquo was a seat at
+the table of his murderer, in the midst of the company, and not on a
+modern parlour chair, set conspicuously by itself near one of the stage
+doors. He also perceived that in Antony's oration over Caesar, the Roman
+populace was illy represented by one boyish-looking, smooth-faced young
+man (plebeians must have been strangely scarce) who at the words, "Good
+friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up to sudden mutiny"--always
+made sundry futile attempts to look mutinous.[76]
+
+[Footnote 76: All these things the author has seen.]
+
+To conclude--in the course of that season and the next, Peter Jones and
+his wife by dint of bones and Dodcombs, became so familiar with
+theatricals that they ceased entirely to enjoy them; and it finally
+became a sort of task to go, and a greater task to sit through the play.
+
+Mrs. Jones thought that the old actors had all fallen off, and that the
+new ones were not so good as the old ones; but her more sagacious
+husband laid the fault to the right cause, which was, "that plays were
+now a drug to them."
+
+The Dodcombs removed to New York, and the Joneses gave up without regret
+the facilities of free admission to the theatre. After a lapse of two
+years, they determined to resume their old and long-tested custom of
+seeing one single play at the close of the season, and on the
+anniversary of their wedding. But the charm was broken, the illusion was
+destroyed; the keenness of their relish was palled by satiety, and could
+revive no more.
+
+In a less humble sphere of life, and in circumstances of far greater
+importance than the play-going of Peter Jones, how often is the
+long-cherished enjoyment of a temperate pleasure destroyed for ever by a
+short period of over-indulgence!
+
+
+
+
+THE OLD FARM-HOUSE.
+
+     "Her charm around, the enchantress Memory throws."--ROGERS.
+
+
+Edward Lindsay had recently returned from Europe, where a long series of
+years passed in the successful prosecution of a lucrative mercantile
+business, had gained for him an independence that in his own country
+would be considered wealth. Continuing in heart and soul an American, it
+was only in the land of his birth, that he could resolve to settle
+himself, and enjoy the fruits of well-directed enterprise, and almost
+uninterrupted good fortune.
+
+Early impressions are lasting; and among the images that frequently
+recurred to the memory of our hero, were those of a certain old
+farm-house in the interior of Pennsylvania, and its kind and
+simple-hearted inhabitants. The farmer, whose name was Abraham Hilliard,
+had been in the practice of occasionally bringing to Philadelphia a
+wagon-load of excellent marketing, and stopping with his team at the
+doors of several genteel families, his unfailing customers. It was thus
+that Mr. and Mrs. Lindsay obtained a knowledge of him, which eventually
+induced them to place in his house, as a boarder, their only surviving
+child Edward: that during the summer season, the boy, whose constitution
+was naturally delicate, might have a chance of acquiring confirmed
+health and hardihood, united with habits of self-dependence; it being
+clearly understood by all parties, that young Lindsay was to be treated,
+in every respect, like the farmer's own children. The experiment
+succeeded: and it was at Oakland Farm that Edward Lindsay's summers were
+chiefly spent from the age of eight to eighteen, at which time he was
+sent to Bordeaux, and placed in the counting-house of his maternal
+uncle. And twice when Philadelphia was visited by the malignant fever
+which in former years spread such terror through the city, and whose
+ravages were only checked by the return of cold weather, the anxious
+parents of our hero made him stay in the country till the winter had
+fairly set in.
+
+During his long residence in Europe, Edward Lindsay was so unfortunate
+as to lose both father and mother, and, therefore, his arrival in his
+native town was accompanied by many painful feelings. The bustle of the
+city, and the company into which the hospitality of his friends
+endeavoured to draw him, were not in accordance with his present state
+of mind, and he imagined that nothing would be more soothing to him than
+a visit to the country, and particularly to the place where so much of
+his boyhood had been passed. While his mother lived, she had frequently
+sent him tidings of his old friends at Oakland Farm, none of whom were
+letter writers; but since her death, they seemed to be lost sight of,
+and it was now many years since Edward had heard anything of them.
+
+Oakland Farm was not on a public road, and it was some miles remote from
+the route of any public conveyance. As the season was the close of
+spring, and the weather delightful, Lindsay determined to go thither on
+a fine horse that he had recently purchased; taking with him only a
+small valise, it being his intention to remain there but a few days.
+
+He set out in the afternoon, and passed the night at a tavern about ten
+miles from the city, formerly known as the Black Bear, but now dignified
+with the title of the Pennsylvania Hotel, expressed in immense gilt
+letters on a blue board above the door. Lindsay felt something like
+regret at the ejectment of his old acquaintance Bruin, who, proclaiming
+"Entertainment for Man and Horse," had swung so many years on a lofty
+sign-post under the shade of a great buttonwood tree, now cut down to
+make room for four slender Lombardy poplars, which, though out of favour
+in the city, had become fashionable in the country.
+
+We will pass over many other changes which our hero observed about the
+new-modelled inn, and accompany him as he pursued his way along the road
+which had been so familiar to him in his early youth, and which, though
+it retained many of its original features, had partaken greatly of the
+all-pervading spirit of improvement. The hills were still there. The
+beautiful creek, which in England would have been termed a river,
+meandered everywhere just as before, wide, clear, and deep; but its
+rude log bridges had now given place to substantial structures of
+masonry and wood-work, and he missed several well-known tracts of
+forest-land, of which the very stumps had long since been dislodged.
+
+His eye, for years accustomed to the small farms and miniature
+enclosures of Europe, now dwelt with delight on immense fields of grain
+or clover, each of them covering a whole hill, and frequently of such
+extent that a single glance could not take in their limits. He saw vast
+orchards that seemed to contain a thousand trees, now white with
+blossoms that, scattered by the slightest breeze, fell around them like
+showers of scented snow. He missed, it is true, the hawthorn hedges of
+England; those beautiful walls of verdure, whose only fault is that
+their impervious foliage shuts out from view the fields they enclose;
+while the open fences of America allow the stranger to regale his eye,
+and satisfy his curiosity with a free prospect of the country through
+which he is travelling.
+
+Oakland Farm, as we have said, lay some miles from the great highway,
+and Lindsay was glad to find with how much ease he recollected the
+turnings and windings of the by-roads. It even gave him pleasure to
+recognise a glen at the bottom of a ravine thickly shaded with crooked
+and moss-grown trees, where half a century ago a woman had been guilty
+of infanticide, and whose subsequent execution at the county town is
+talked of still; it being apparently as well remembered as an event of
+yesterday. The dogwood and the wild grape vine still canopied the fatal
+spot, for the thicket had never been cleared away, nor the ground
+cultivated. A little beyond, the road lay through a dark piece of woods
+that countrywomen, returning late from the store, were afraid to ride
+through after night-fall; as their horses always started and trembled
+and laid back their ears at the appearance of a mysterious white colt,
+which was frequently seen gamboling among the trees, and which no
+sensible people believed to be a real or living colt, as one horse is
+never frightened at the sight of another. Shortly after, our traveller
+stopped for a few moments to gaze at the transformation of a building on
+the verge of a creek. He had remembered it as a large old house
+chequered with bricks alternately blackish and reddish, and having dark
+red window-shutters with holes cut in them to admit the light; some of
+the apertures being in the form of hearts, others in the shape of
+crescents. There had been a red porch, and a red front door which for
+years had the inconvenient property of bursting open in the dead of
+night; at which time, a noise was always heard as of the hoofs of a calf
+trotting in the dark, about the rooms up stairs. This calf was finally
+spoken to by a very courageous stranger, who inquired its name. The calf
+made not a word of answer, but from that night was heard no more. This
+house, being now painted yellow, and the red shutters removed, had been
+altered into an establishment for carding and spinning wool, as was
+evident by surrounding indications, and by the noise of the machinery,
+which could be heard plainly as far as the road. Lindsay began to fear
+that he should never again see Polly Nichols, a tall, gaunt,
+hard-featured spinning girl, whose untiring strength and immoveable
+countenance, as she ran all day at the "big wheel," had often amazed
+him, and whom Mrs. Hilliard considered as the princess of wool-spinners.
+His conscience reproached him with having one day, while she was at
+dinner, mischievously stolen the wheel-finger of the said Polly Nichols,
+and hidden it in the dough trough, thereby occasioning a long search to
+the industrious damsel, and the loss of an hour's spinning to Mrs.
+Hilliard.
+
+He next came to the old well-known meeting-house, embosomed in large
+elms of aboriginal growth. He saw it as in former days, with its long
+range of stalls for the horses of the congregation, and its square
+horse-blocks at the gate with steps ascending on all their four sides,
+to which the country beaux gallantly led up the steeds of the country
+belles. Just beyond the meeting-house, he looked in vain for a
+well-known little brook, distinguished of old as "Blue Woman's Run," and
+which had formerly crossed the road, murmuring over its bed of pebbles.
+It had derived this cognomen from the singular apparition of a woman in
+a blue gown, with a pail of water on her head, which had on several
+Sundays boldly appeared even in the brightness of the noon-day sun, and
+was seen walking fearlessly among the "meeting folks," and their horses,
+as they stopped to let them drink at the brook; coming no one knew from
+whence, and going no one knew where; but appearing and disappearing in
+the midst of them. But the streamlet was no longer there, diverted
+perhaps to some other channel, and the hollow of its bed was filled up
+and made level with the road.
+
+About two miles further, our hero looked out for a waste field at some
+distance from the road, and distinguished by an antique persimmon tree
+of unusual size. This field he had always known of a wild and desolate
+aspect, bristled with the tall stalks of the mullein. Here, according to
+tradition, had once lived a family of free negroes, probably runaways
+from the south. They had lost their children by an epidemic, buried them
+at the foot of the persimmon tree, and soon after quitted the
+neighbourhood. All vestiges of their hut had vanished long before Edward
+Lindsay had known the place, but the graves of the children might have
+been traced under the grass and weeds. The deserted field had the
+reputation of being haunted, because whoever had the temerity to cross
+it, even in broad daylight, never failed, that is if they had faith, to
+see the faces of two little black boys looking out from behind the tree,
+and laughing merrily. But on approaching the tree no black boys were
+there.
+
+There is considerable variety in American ghosts. In Europe these
+phantoms are nearly all of the same stamp: either tall white females
+that glide by moonlight among the ruined cloisters of old abbeys; or
+pale knights, in dark armour, that wander, at midnight, about the
+turrets and corridors of feudal castles. In our country, apparitions go
+as little by rule as their living prototypes; and are certainly very
+prosaic both in looks and ways.
+
+The old persimmon tree was still there; but the field had been
+cultivated, and was now in red clover, and Lindsay knew that mind had
+marched over it.
+
+He now came to a well-remembered place, the low one-story school-house
+under the shade of a great birch tree, whose twigs had been of essential
+service in the hands of Master Whackaboy, and whose smooth and
+paper-like bark was fashionable in the seminary for writing-pieces. The
+door and windows were open, and Lindsay expected as formerly, to hear
+the master say to his scholars, at the sound of horses' feet--"Read
+out--read out--strangers are going by--;" which order had always been
+succeeded by a chorus of readers as loud and inharmonious as what
+children call a Dutch Concert. As Lindsay passed the school-house, he
+could not forbear stopping a moment to look in; and instead of Bumpus
+Whackaboy in his round jacket, he saw a young gentleman in a frock coat,
+seated at the master's desk, with an aspect of great satisfaction, while
+a lad stood before him frowning and stamping desperately, and reciting
+Collins's Ode on the Passions.
+
+Our traveller now perceived by certain well-remembered landmarks, that
+he was approaching the mill in whose scales he had frequently been
+weighed: a ceremony never omitted at the close of his annual visit to
+Oakland, that he might go home rejoicing in the number of pounds he had
+gained during his sojourn in the salubrious air and homely abundance of
+the farm. When he came to the place, he found three mills; and he was,
+for a while, puzzled to recollect which of them was his old
+acquaintance. On the other side of the road were now a tavern, a store,
+and a blacksmith's shop, with half a dozen dwelling-houses. "This, I
+suppose, is an incipient city," thought Lindsay--and so it was, as he
+afterwards found: the name being Candyville, in consequence, perhaps, of
+the people of the neighbourhood having left off tobacco and taken to
+mint-stick, for which, and other _bonbons_ of a similar character, the
+demand was so great that the storekeeper often found it necessary to
+take a journey to the metropolis chiefly for the purpose of bringing out
+a fresh supply.
+
+At length our hero came to a hill beyond which he recollected that a
+turn in the road would present to his view the house of Abraham
+Hilliard, as it stood on the very edge of the farm. It was a lovely
+afternoon. The sunbeams were dancing merrily on the creek, whose shining
+waters beautifully inverted its green banks, overshadowed with laurel
+bushes now in full bloom and covered with large clusters of delicate
+pink flowers.
+
+He saw the top of the enormous oak that stood in front of the house, and
+which had been spared for its size and beauty, when the ground was first
+redeemed from the primeval forest by the grandfather of the present
+proprietor.
+
+Lindsay turned into the lane. What was his amazement when he saw not, as
+he expected, the well-known farm-house and its appurtenances!--It was no
+longer there. The dilapidated ruins of the chimney alone were standing,
+and round them lay a heap of rubbish. He stopped his horse and gazed
+long and sadly, on finding all his pleasant anticipations turned at once
+to disappointment. Finally he dismounted, and securing his bridle to a
+large nail which yet remained in the trunk of the old tree, having been
+placed there for that purpose, he proceeded to take a nearer view of
+what had once been the Oakland Farm-House.
+
+There were indications of the last fire that had ever gladdened the
+hearth, the charred remains of an immense backlog, now half hidden
+beneath a luxuriant growth of the dusky and ragged-leaved Jamestown
+weed. In a corner of the hearth grew a sumach that bid fair in a short
+time to overtop all that was left of the chimney. These corners had once
+been furnished with benches on which the children used to sit and amuse
+themselves with stories and riddles, in the cold autumnal evenings, when
+fires are doubly cheerful from being the first of the season.
+
+Of the long porch in which they had so often played by moonlight,
+nothing now remained but a few broken and decaying boards with grass and
+plantain-weeds growing among them; and some relics of the rough stone
+steps that had ascended to it, now displaced and fallen aside by the
+caving in of the earth behind.
+
+The well that had supplied the family with cold water for drinking, had
+lost its cover--the sweep had fallen down, and the bucket and chain were
+gone. The dark cool cellar was laid open to the light of day, and was
+now a deep square pit, overgrown with thistles and toad-flax.
+
+From the cracks of the old clay oven that had belonged to the chimney
+(and which was now half hidden in pokeberry plants), issued tufts of
+chick-weed; and when Lindsay looked into the place which he had so often
+seen filled with pies and rice-puddings, the glare of bright eyes and a
+rustling noise denoted that some wild animal had made its lair in the
+cavity. Suddenly a large gray fox sprung out of the oven-mouth, and ran
+fearfully past him into the thicket. Lindsay thought in a moment of the
+often-quoted lines of Ossian.
+
+At the foot of the little eminence on which the house was situated,
+there had formerly been what its inhabitants called the _harbour_
+(probably a corruption of arbour), a shed rudely constructed of poles
+interwoven with branches, and covered with a luxuriant gourd-vine. Here
+the milk-pans and pails were washed, and much of the "slopping-work" of
+the family done in the summer. A piece of rock formed the back-wall of a
+fire-place in which an immense iron pot had always hung. A slight
+water-gate opened from this place on a branch of the creek, over which a
+broad thick board had been laid as a bridge, and a short distance below
+there was a miniature cascade or fall, at which Edward, in his
+childhood, had erected a small wooden tilt-hammer of his own making; and
+the strokes of this tilt-hammer could be heard, to his great delight, as
+far as the house, particularly in the stillness of night, when the sound
+was doubly audible.
+
+The cauldron had now disappeared, leaving no trace but the blackened
+stone behind it; the remains of the water-gate were lying far up on the
+bank; the board had fallen into the water; the rude trellis was broken
+down; and masses of the gourd-vine, which had sprung from the scattered
+seeds, were running about in wild disorder wherever they could find
+anything to climb upon.
+
+Lindsay turned to the spot "where once the garden smiled," and found it
+a wilderness of tall and tangled weeds, interspersed with three or four
+degenerate hollyhocks, and a few other flowers that had sowed themselves
+and dwindled into insignificance. And in the division appropriated to
+culinary purposes, were some straggling vegetables that had returned to
+a state worse than indigenous--with half a dozen rambling bushes that
+had long since ceased to bear fruit.
+
+Lindsay had gazed on the gigantic remains of the Roman Coliseum, on "the
+castled crag of Drachenfels," and on the ivy-mantled arches of Tintern,
+but they awakened no sensation that could compare with the melancholy
+feeling that oppressed him as he explored the humble ruins of this
+simple farm-house, where every association came home to his heart,
+reminding him not of what he had read, but of what he had seen, and
+known, and felt, and enjoyed.
+
+As he stood with folded arms contemplating the images of desolation
+before him, his attention was diverted by the sound of footsteps, and,
+on looking round, he perceived an old negro coming down the road, with a
+basket in one hand, and in the other a jug corked with a corn-cob. The
+negro pulled off his battered wool-hat, and making a bow and a scrape,
+said: "Sarvant, masser--" and Lindsay, on returning his bow, recognised
+the unusual breadth of nose and width of mouth that had distinguished a
+free black, well known in the neighbourhood by the name of Pharaoh, and
+in whom the lapse of time had made no other alteration than that of
+bleaching his wool, which was now quite white.
+
+"Why, Pharaoh--my old fellow!" exclaimed Lindsay, "is this really
+yourself?"
+
+"Can't say, masser," replied Pharaoh. "All people's much the same. Best
+not be too personal. But I b'lieve I'm he."
+
+"Have you no recollection of Edward Lindsay?" inquired our hero.
+
+"Lawful heart, masser!" exclaimed the negro. "I do b'lieve you're little
+Neddy, what used to come from town and stay at old Abram Hilliard's of
+summers, and what still kept wisiting there, by times, till you goed
+over sea."
+
+"I am that identical Neddy," replied Lindsay, holding out his hand to
+the old negro, who evinced his delight by a series of loud laughs.
+
+"Yes--yes," pursued Pharaoh, "now I look sharper at you, masser, I see
+plain you're 'xactly he. You've jist a same nose, and a same eyes, and a
+same mouth, what you had when you tumbled down the well, and fall'd out
+the chestnut tree, and when you was peck'd hard by the big turkey-cock,
+and butted by the old ram."
+
+"Truly," said Lindsay, "you seem to have forgotten none of my juvenile
+disasters."
+
+"To be sure not," replied Pharaoh, "I 'member every one of them, and a
+heap more, only I don't want to be personal."
+
+"And now," said Lindsay, "as we have so successfully identified each
+other, let me know, at once, what has happened to my good friends the
+Hilliards, who I thought were fixed here for life. Why do I see their
+house a heap of ruins? Have the family been reduced to poverty?"
+
+"Lawful heart, no," exclaimed the negro: "Masser Neddy been away so long
+in foreign parts, he forget how when people here in 'Merica give up
+their old houses, it's a'most always acause they've got new ones. Now
+old Abram Hilliard he got richer and richer every minute--though I guess
+he was pretty rich when you know'd him, only he never let on. And so he
+build him fine stone house beyont his piece of oak-woods, and there he
+live this blessed day.--And we goes there quite another road.--And so he
+gove this old frame to old Pharaoh; and so I had the whole house carted
+off, all that was good of it, and put it up on the road-side, just
+beyont here, in place of my old tumble-down cabin what I used to live
+in, that I've altered into a pig-pen. So now me and Binkey am quite
+comfabull."
+
+"Show me the way," said Lindsay, "to the new residence of Mr. Hilliard.
+I have come from Philadelphia on purpose to visit the family."
+
+"Bless your heart, masser, for that," said the old negro, as he held the
+stirrup for Lindsay to mount; and walking by his side, he proceeded with
+the usual garrulity of the African race, to relate many particulars of
+the Hilliards and their transit.
+
+"Of course, Masser Neddy," said Pharaoh, "you 'member old Abram's two
+boys Isaac and Jacob, what you used to play with. You know Isaac mostly
+whipped you when you fout with him. Well, when they growed up, they
+thought they'd help'd their father long enough, and as they wanted right
+bad to go west, the old man gove 'em money to buy back land. So each
+took him horse--Isaac took Mike, and Jacob took Morgan, and they started
+west, and went to a place away back--away back--seven hundred thousand
+miles beyont Pitchburg. And they're like to get mighty rich; and word's
+come as Jacob's neighbours is going to set him up for congress, and I
+shouldn't be the least 'prized if he's presidump. You 'member, Masser
+Neddy, Jacob was always the tonguiest of the two boys."
+
+"And where are Mr. Hilliard's daughters?" asked Lindsay.
+
+"Oh, as to the two oldest," replied Pharaoh, "Kitty married Billy
+Pleasants, as keeps the store over at Candyville, and Betsey made a
+great match with a man what has a terrible big farm over on Siskahanna.
+And old Abram, after he got into him new house, sent him two youngest to
+the new school up at Wonderville, where they teaches the gals all sorts
+of wit and larning."
+
+"And how are your own wife and children, Pharaoh?" inquired Lindsay; "I
+remember them very well."
+
+"Bless your heart for that, masser!" replied the negro; "why Rose is
+hired at Abram Hilliard's--you know they brungt her up. And Cato lives
+out in Philadelphy--I wonders masser did not see him. And as for old
+Binkey, she holds her own pretty well. You know, masser, Binkey was
+always a great hand at quiltings, and weddings, and buryings, and such
+like frolics, and used to be sent for, high and low, to help cook at
+them times. But now she's a getting old,--being most a thousand,--and
+her birthday mostly comes on the forty-second of Feberwary--and so she
+stays at home, and makes rusk and gingerbread and molasses beer. This is
+molasses I have in the jemmy-john; I've jist come from the store. So she
+sells cakes and beer--that's the reason we lives on the road-side--and I
+works about. We used to have a sign that Sammy Spokes the wheelwright
+painted for us, for he was then the only man in these parts that had
+paints. There was two ginger-cakes on it, and one rusk, and a coal-black
+bottle with the beer spouting up high, and falling into a tumbler
+without ever spilling a drap. We were desperate pleased with the sign,
+for folks said it looked so nateral, and Sammy Spokes made us a present
+of it, and would not take it out in cakes and beer, as we wanted him,
+and that shewed him to be very much of a gemplan."
+
+"As no doubt he is," remarked Lindsay; "I find, since my return to
+America, that gentlemen are 'as plenty as blackberries.'"
+
+"You say very true, masser," rejoined the negro; "we are all gemplans
+now-a-days, and has plenty of blackberries. Well, as I was saying, we
+liked the sign a heap. But after Nelly Hilliard as was--we calls her
+Miss Ellen now--quit Wonderville school, where she learnt everything on
+the face of the yearth, she thought she would persecute painting at
+home, for she had a turn that way and wanted to keep her hand in. So she
+set to, and painted a new sign, and took it all out of her own head; and
+gove it to old Binkey and axplaned it to us. There's a thing on it that
+Miss Ellen calls a urn or wase--_that_ stands for beer--and then there's
+a sugarcane growing out of it--_that_ stands for molasses. And then
+there's a thick string of green leaves, with roots twisted amongst
+'em--_that_ answers for ginger, for she told us that ginger grows like
+any other widgable, and has stalks and leaves, but the root is what we
+uses. Yet, somehow, folks doesn't seem to understand this sign as well
+as the old one. A great many thinks the wase be an old sugar-dish with a
+bit of a corn-stalk sticking out of it, and some passley and hossreddish
+plastered on the outside, and say they should never guess cakes and beer
+by it."
+
+"I should suppose not," said Lindsay.
+
+"But, Masser Neddy," pursued the old negro, "all this time, we have been
+calling Abram Hilliard 'Abram,' instead of saying squire. Only think of
+old Abram; he has been made a squire this good while, and marries
+people. After he move into him new house, he begun to get high, and took
+to putting on a clean shirt and shaving every day, which Rose says was a
+pretty tough job with him at first; but he parsewered. And he's apt to
+have fresh meat whenever it's to be got, and he won't eat stale pies:
+and so they have to do small bakings every day, instead of big ones
+twice a week. And sometimes he even go so far as to have geese took out
+of the flock, and killed and roasted, instead of saving 'em all for
+feathers. And he says that now he's clear of the world, he _will_ live
+as he likes, and have everything he wants, and be quite comfabull. And
+he made his old woman leave off wearing short gownds, and put on long
+gownds all the time, and quit calling him daddy, which Rose says went
+very hard with her for a while. The gals being young, were broke of it
+easy enough; and now they says pappy."
+
+"Pshaw!" ejaculated Lindsay, whose regret at the general change which
+seemed to have come over the Hilliard family now amounted nearly to
+vexation.
+
+"Now, Masser Neddy," continued Pharaoh, "we've got to the new
+house--there it stands, right afore you. An't you 'prised at it? I
+always am whenever I sees it. So please a jump off, and I'll take your
+hoss to the stable, and put him up, and tell the people at the barn that
+Masser Neddy's come; and you can go into the house and speak for
+you'mself."
+
+Lindsay, at parting, put a dollar into the hand of the old negro. "What
+for this, Masser Neddy?" asked Pharaoh, trying to look very
+disinterested.
+
+"Do whatever you please with it," answered Lindsay.
+
+"Well, masser," replied the negro, "I never likes to hurt a gemplan's
+feelings by 'fusing him. So I'll keep it, just to 'blige you. But, I
+'spect, to be sure, Masser Neddy'll step in some day at negor-man's
+cabin, and see old Binkey, and take part of him dollar out in cakes and
+beer. I'll let masser know when Binkey has a fresh baking."
+
+Pharaoh then led off the horse, and Lindsay stood for a few moments to
+take a survey of the new residence of his old friends. It was a broad,
+substantial two-story stone house. There was a front garden, where large
+snow-ball trees
+
+    "Threw up their silver globes, light as the foamy surf,"
+
+and where the conical clusters of the lilac, and the little May roses,
+were bursting into fragrance and beauty, and uniting their odours with
+those of the tall white lily, and the lowly but delicious pink. Behind
+the house ascended a woodland hill, whose trees at this season exhibited
+every shade of green, in tints as various as the diversified browns of
+autumn.
+
+Lindsay found the front door unfastened, and opening it without
+ceremony, he entered a wide hall furnished with a long settee, a large
+table, a hat-stand, a hanging lamp, a map of the United States, and one
+of the world. There was a large parlour on each side of the hall, and
+Lindsay looked into both, the doors being open. One was carpeted, and
+seemed to be fitted up for winter, the other had a matted floor, and was
+evidently the summer sitting-room. The furniture in both, though by no
+means showy, was excellent of its kind and extremely neat; and in its
+form and arrangement convenience seemed to be the chief consideration.
+Lindsay thought he had never seen more pleasant-looking rooms. In the
+carpeted parlour, on the hearth of the Franklin stove, sat a blue china
+jar filled with magnolia flowers, whose spicy perfume was tempered by
+the outer air that came through the venetian blinds which were lowered
+to exclude the sunbeams. One recess was occupied by a mahogany
+book-case, and there was a side-board in the other. The chimney-place of
+the summer parlour was concealed by a drapery of ingeniously cut paper,
+and the various and beautiful flowers that adorned the mantel-piece had
+evidently been cultivated with care. Shelves of books hung in the
+recesses, and in both rooms were sofas and rocking-chairs.
+
+"Is it possible," thought Lindsay, "that this can be the habitation of
+Abraham Hilliard?" And he ran over in his mind the humble aspect of
+their sitting-room in the old farm-house, with its home-made carpet of
+strips of listing; its tall-backed rush chairs; its walnut table; its
+corner cupboard; its hanging shelves suspended from the beams that
+crossed the ceiling, and holding miscellaneous articles of every
+description.
+
+Having satisfied his curiosity by looking into the parlours, he
+proceeded through the hall to the back door, and there he found, in a
+porch canopied with honeysuckle, a woman busily engaged in picking the
+stems from a basket of early strawberries, as she transferred the fruit
+to a large bowl. Time had made so little change in her features, that,
+though much improved in her costume, he easily guessed her to be his old
+hostess Mrs. Hilliard. "Aunt Susan!" he exclaimed; for by that title he
+had been accustomed to address her in his boyhood. The old lady started
+up, and hastily snatched off her strawberry-stained apron.
+
+"Have you no recollection of Edward Lindsay?" continued our hero,
+heartily shaking her hand.
+
+She surveyed him from head to foot, till his identity dawned upon her,
+and then she ejaculated--"It is--it must be--though you are a gentleman,
+you _must_ be little Neddy--there--there, sit down--I'll be back in a
+moment."
+
+She went into the house, and returned almost immediately, bringing with
+her a small coquelicot waiter, with cakes and wine, which she pressed
+Lindsay to partake of. He smiled as he recollected that one of the
+customs of Oakland Farm was to oblige every stranger to eat and drink
+immediately on his arrival. And while he was discussing a cake and a
+glass of wine, the good dame heaped a saucer with strawberries, carried
+it away for a few minutes, and then brought it back inundated with cream
+and sugar. This was also presented to Lindsay, recommending that he
+should eat another cake with the strawberries, and take another glass of
+wine after them.
+
+On Edward's inquiring for her husband, Mrs. Hilliard replied that he was
+somewhere about the farm, and that the girls were drinking tea with some
+neighbours a few miles off; but she said she would send the carriage for
+them immediately, that they might be home early in the evening.
+
+In a short time Abraham Hilliard came in, having seen Pharaoh at the
+barn, who had informed him of the arrival of "Master Neddy." The meeting
+afforded equal gratification to both parties. The old farmer looked as
+if quite accustomed to a clean shirt and to shaving every day; and
+Lindsay was glad to find that his manner of expressing himself had
+improved with his circumstances. Aunt Susan, however, had not, in this
+respect, kept pace with her husband, remaining, to use her own
+expression--"just the same old two and sixpence." Women who have not in
+early life enjoyed opportunities of cultivating their minds are rarely
+able at a late period to acquire much conversational polish.--With men
+the case is different.
+
+Mrs. Hilliard now left her husband to entertain their guest, and, "on
+hospitable thoughts intent," withdrew to superintend the setting of a
+tea-table abounding in cakes and sweetmeats; the strawberry bowl and a
+pitcher of cream occupying the centre. This repast was laid out in the
+wide hall, and while engaged in arranging it, Mrs. Hilliard joined
+occasionally in the conversation which her husband and Lindsay were
+pursuing in her hearing, as they sat in the porch.
+
+"Well, Edward," proceeded Mr. Hilliard, "you see a great alteration in
+things at the farm: and I conclude you are glad to find us in a better
+way than when you left us."
+
+"Certainly," replied Lindsay.
+
+"Now," said the penetrating old farmer, "that 'certainly' did not come
+from your heart.--Tell me the truth--you miss something, don't you?"
+
+"Frankly, then," replied Lindsay, "I miss everything--I own myself so
+selfish as to feel some disappointment at the entire overthrow of all
+the images which during my long absence had been present to my mind's
+eye, in connexion with my remembrances of Oakland Farm. Thinking of the
+old farm house and its inhabitants, precisely as I had left them, and
+believing that time had passed over them without causing any essential
+change, I must say that I cannot, just at first, bring myself to be glad
+that it is otherwise. The happiness that seemed to dwell with the old
+house and the old-fashioned ways of its people, had been vividly
+impressed upon my feelings. And I fear--forgive me for saying so--that
+your family cannot have added much to their felicity by acquiring ideas
+and adopting habits to which they so long were strangers."
+
+"There you are mistaken, my dear boy," answered the farmer. "I
+acknowledge that if, in removing to a larger house, and altering our way
+of living, we had in any one instance sacrificed comfort to show, or
+convenience to ostentation--which, unfortunately, has been the error of
+some of our neighbours--we should, indeed, have enjoyed far less
+happiness than heretofore. But we have not done so. We have made no
+attempts at mimicking what in the city is called style; and I have
+forbidden my daughters to mention the word fashion in my presence."
+
+"Yes--yes," said Mrs. Hilliard, "I hope we have been wiser than the
+Newman family over at Poplar Plains. As soon as they got a little up in
+the world, they built a shell of a house that looks as if it was made of
+white pasteboard; and figured it all over with carved work inside and
+out; and stuck posts and pillars all about it with nothing of
+consequence to hold up; and furnished the rooms with all sorts of
+useless trumpery."
+
+"Softly--softly--wife!" interrupted old Abraham--and turning to our
+hero, he proceeded--"well, as I was telling you, Edward, I endeavour to
+enjoy what I have worked so hard to acquire, and to enjoy it in a manner
+that really improves our condition, and renders it in every respect
+better. You know, that in former times, though I had very little leisure
+to read, I liked to take up a book whenever I had a few moments to
+spare, if I was not too tired with my work; and when I went to town with
+marketing, I always bought a book to bring home with me. Also, I took a
+weekly paper. As soon as I could afford it, I brought home more than one
+book, and took a daily paper. I gave my children the benefit of the best
+schooling that could be procured without sending them to town for the
+purpose; but at the same time, I was averse to their learning any showy
+and useless accomplishments."
+
+"Well," rejoined Mrs. Hilliard, "we were certainly wiser than the
+Newmans, who sent their girls to a French school in Philadelphia, and
+had them taught music, both guitar and piano. And the Newman girls mix
+up their talk with all sorts of French words that sound very ugly to me.
+Instead of 'good night' they say _bone swear_;[77] and a 'trifle' they
+call a _bagtau_;[78] and they are always talking about having a
+_Gennessee Squaw_;[79] though what they mean by that I cannot imagine;
+for, I am sure I never saw any such thing in this part of the country.
+And the tunes they play on the piano seem to me like no tunes at all,
+but just a sort of scrambling up and down, that nobody can make either
+head or tail of. And when they sing to the guitar, it sounds to me just
+like moaning one minute, and screaming the next, with a little tinkling
+between whiles."
+
+[Footnote 77: Bonsoir.]
+
+[Footnote 78: Bagatelle.]
+
+[Footnote 79: Je ne sais quoi.]
+
+"Wife--wife," interrupted Abraham, "you are too severe on the poor
+girls."
+
+"Well--well," proceeded Mrs. Hilliard, "I'll say nothing more, only
+this: that the airs they take on themselves make them the talk of the
+whole country--And then they've given up all sorts of work. The mother
+spends most of her time in taking naps, to make up, I suppose, for
+having had to rise early all the former part of her life. The girls sit
+about all day in stiff silk frocks, squeezed so tight in them that they
+can hardly move. Or they go round paying morning visits, interrupting
+people in the busy part of the day. And they invite company to their
+house, and give them no tea; and say they're having a _swearey_.[80] To
+be sure it's a shame for me to say so, but it's well known that they
+never have a good thing on their table now, but pretend it's genteel to
+live on bits and morsels that have neither taste nor substance. And no
+doubt that's the reason the whole family have grown so thin and yellow,
+and are always complaining of something they call dyspepsy."
+
+[Footnote 80: Soiree.]
+
+"_They_ have certainly changed for the worse," remarked Lindsay. "I
+remember the Newmans very well--a happy, homely family living in a long,
+low, red frame house, and having everything about them plain and
+plentiful."
+
+"So had we in our former dwelling," said Mr. Hilliard, "yet I think we
+are living still better now."
+
+"I have many pleasant recollections of the old house," said Lindsay.
+
+"For you," observed the farmer, "our old house and the manner in which
+we then lived, owed most of their charms to novelty, and to the
+circumstance that children are seldom fastidious. I doubt much, if you
+had found everything in _statu quo_, and the old house and its
+inhabitants just as you left them, whether you could have been induced
+to make us as long a visit as I hope you will now."
+
+"My husband," said Mrs. Hilliard, "is different from most men of his
+age. Instead of dwelling all the while upon old times, he stands up for
+the times we live in, and says everything now is better than it used to
+be. And he's brought me to agree with him pretty much--I never was an
+idle woman, and I keep myself busy enough still, but I do think it is
+pleasanter to keep hired people for the hard work than to have to help
+with it myself, as you know I used to. Though I never complained about
+it, still I cannot say, now I look back, that there was any great
+pleasure in helping on washing-days and ironing-days, or in making soft
+soap, and baking great batches of bread and pies--to be sure, my soft
+soap was admired all over the country, and my bread was always light,
+and my pie-crust never tough. Neither was there much delight in seeing
+my two eldest girls paddling to the barn-yard every morning and evening,
+through all weathers, to milk the cows; or setting them at heavy
+churnings, and other hard work. And then at harvest-time, and at
+killing-time, and when we were getting the marketing ready for husband
+to take to town in the wagon, we were on our feet the whole blessed day.
+To be sure, they were used to it, but I often felt sorry for Abraham and
+the boys, when they came home from the field in a warm evening, so tired
+with work they could hardly speak, and were glad to wash themselves, and
+get their supper, and go to bed at dark. And the girls and I were always
+glad enough, too, to get our rest as soon as we had put away the milk
+and washed the supper things; knowing we should have to be up before the
+stars were gone, to sweep the house and do the milking, and get the
+breakfast, that the men might be off early to work."
+
+"I remember all this very well," said Lindsay.
+
+"To be sure you do," pursued Mrs. Hilliard. "Then don't you think it's
+pleasant for us now not to be overworked during the day, so that in the
+evening, instead of going to bed, we can sit round the table in a nice
+parlour, and sew and knit; or read, for them that likes it. Husband and
+the girls always did take pleasure in reading--and, for my part, now
+I've time, I'm beginning to like a book myself. Last winter, I read a
+good deal in the second volume of the Spectator. In short, I have not
+the least notion of grieving after our way of living at the old house."
+
+"Nor I neither," added Abraham; "and I really find it much more
+agreeable to superintend my farm, than to be obliged to labour on it
+myself."
+
+"And now let us proceed with our tea," said Mrs. Hilliard; "and, Neddy,
+if you do not eat hearty of what you see before you, I shall think you
+are fretting after the mush and milk, and sowins, and pie and cheese,
+that we use to have on our old supper table, and which I do not believe
+you could eat now if they were before you. Come, you must not mind my
+speaking out so plainly. You know I always was a right-down sort of
+woman, and am so still."
+
+Edward smiled, and pressed her hand kindly, acknowledging that all she
+had said was justified by truth and reason.
+
+The carriage--they kept a very plain but a very capacious one--brought
+home the girls shortly after candle-light. Lindsay ran out to assist
+them in alighting, and was glad to find that on hearing his name they
+retained a perfect recollection of him, though they were in their
+earliest childhood at the time of his departure for Europe. When they
+came into the light, he found them both very pretty. Their skins had not
+been tanned by exposure to the sun and wind, nor their shoulders
+stooped, nor their hands reddened by hard work; as had been the case
+with their two elder sisters. They were dressed in white frocks, blue
+shawls, and straw bonnets with blue ribbons; neatly, and in good taste.
+
+The evening passed pleasantly, and Lindsay soon discovered that the
+daughters of his host were very charming girls. Ellen, perhaps, had a
+little tinge of vanity, but Lucy was entirely free from it. Diffidence
+prevented her from talking much, but she listened understandingly, and
+when she did speak, it was with animation and intelligence. Lindsay felt
+that he should not have liked her so well had she looked, and dressed,
+and talked as he remembered her elder sisters.
+
+When he retired for the night, his bed and room were so well furnished,
+and looked so inviting, that he could not regret the little low
+apartment with no chimney and only one window, that he had occupied in
+the old farm-house; and he slept quite as soundly under a white
+counterpane as he had formerly done under a patch-work quilt.
+
+We have no space to enter more minutely into the details of our hero's
+visit, nor to relate by what process he speedily became a convert to the
+fact that even among country-people the march of improvement adds
+greatly to their comfort and happiness; provided always, that they do
+not mistake the road, and diverge into the path of folly and pretension.
+
+Suffice it to say, that he protracted his stay to a week, during which
+he broke the girls of the habit of saying "pappy," substituting the more
+sensible and affectionate epithet of "father." When Pharaoh announced
+the proper time, he made a visit to the refectory of old Binkey, whom he
+afterwards desired the Candyville storekeeper to supply at his charge,
+with materials for her cakes and beer, _ad libitum_, during the
+remainder of her life.
+
+The visit of Edward Lindsay to Oakland was in the course of the summer
+so frequently repeated, that no one was much surprised when, early in
+October, he conducted Lucy Hilliard to Philadelphia as his bride:
+acknowledging to himself that he could never have made her so, had she
+and her family continued exactly as he had known them at the OLD
+FARM-HOUSE.
+
+
+
+
+THAT GENTLEMAN:
+
+OR,
+
+PENCILLINGS ON SHIP-BOARD.
+
+    "Yon sun that sets upon the sea
+    We follow in his flight."--BYRON.
+
+
+"And now, dear Caroline, tell us some particulars of your passage home,"
+said Mrs. Esdale to her sister, as they quitted the tea-table on the
+evening of Mr. and Mrs. Fenton's arrival from a visit to Europe.
+
+"Our passage home," replied Mrs. Fenton, "was moderately short, and
+generally pleasant. We had a good ship, a good captain, splendid
+accommodations, and an excellent table, and were not crowded with too
+many passengers."
+
+"Yet, let us hear something more circumstantial," said Mrs. Esdale.
+
+"Dear Henrietta," replied her sister, "have I not often told you how
+difficult it is to relate anything amusingly or interestingly when you
+are expressly called upon to do so; when you are expected to sit up in
+form, and furnish a regular narrative, with a beginning, a middle, and
+an end."
+
+"But indeed," rejoined Mrs. Esdale, "we have anticipated much pleasure
+from hearing your account of the voyage. Come,--let us take our seats in
+the front parlour, and leave your husband and mine to their discussion
+of the political prospects of both hemispheres. The girls and myself
+would much rather listen to your last impressions of life on
+ship-board."
+
+"Do, dear aunt," said both the daughters of Mrs. Esdale, two fine girls
+of seventeen and fifteen--and taking their seats at the sofa-table, they
+urged Mrs Fenton to commence.
+
+"Well, then," said Mrs. Fenton, "to begin in the manner of the fairy
+tales--once upon a time there lived in the city of New York, a merchant
+whose name was Edward Fenton--and he had a wife named Caroline Fenton.
+And notwithstanding that they had a town-house and a country-house, and
+a coach to ride in, and fine clothes, and fine furniture, and plenty of
+good things to eat and to drink, they grew tired of staying at home and
+being comfortable. So they sailed away in a ship, and never stopped till
+they got to England. And there they saw the king and queen, with gold
+crowns on their heads, and sceptres in their hands--(by-the-bye it was
+lucky that we arrived in time for the coronation)--and they heard the
+king cough, and the queen sneeze: and they saw lords with ribands and
+stars, and ladies with plumes and diamonds. They travelled and
+travelled, and often came to great castles that looked like giants'
+houses: and they went all over England and Wales, and Ireland and
+Scotland. Then they returned to London, and saw more sights; and then
+they were satisfied to come back to America, where they expect to live
+happily all the rest of their lives."
+
+"Now, aunt, you are laughing at us," said Juliet Esdale--"your letters
+from Europe have somewhat taken off the edge of our curiosity as to your
+adventures there: and it is just now our especial desire to hear
+something of your voyage home."
+
+"In truth," replied Mrs. Fenton, "I must explain, that on this, the
+first evening of my return, I feel too happy, and too much excited, to
+talk systematically on any subject whatever; much less to arrange my
+ideas into the form of a history. To-morrow I shall be engaged all day
+at my own house: for I must preside at the awakening of numerous
+articles of furniture that have been indulged during our absence with a
+long slumber; some being covered up in cases, and some shut up in
+closets, or disrespectfully imprisoned in the attics. But I will come
+over in the evening; and, if we are not interrupted by visiters, I will
+read you some memorandums that I made on the passage. I kept no regular
+journal, but I wrote a little now and then, chiefly for my amusement,
+and to diversify my usual occupations of reading, sewing, and walking
+the deck. Therefore excuse me to-night, and let me have my humour, for
+I feel exactly in the vein to talk 'an infinite deal of nothing.'"
+
+"Aunt Caroline," said Clara, "you know that, talk as you will, we always
+like to hear you. But we shall long for to-morrow evening."
+
+"Do not, however, expect a finished picture of a sea-voyage," said Mrs.
+Fenton, "I can only promise you a few slight outlines, filled up with a
+half tint, and without lights or shadows; like the things that the
+Chinese sometimes paint on their tea-chests."
+
+On the following evening, the gentlemen having gone to a public meeting,
+and measures being taken for the exclusion of visitors, Mrs. Esdale and
+her daughters seated themselves at the table with their work, and Mrs.
+Fenton produced her manuscript book, and read as follows: having first
+reminded her auditors that her husband and herself, instead of embarking
+at London, had gone by land to Portsmouth, and from thence crossed over
+to the Isle of Wight, where they took apartments at the principal hotel
+in the little town of Cowes, at which place the ship was to touch on her
+way down the British channel.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Having amply availed ourselves of the opportunity (afforded by a three
+days' sojourn) of exploring the beauties of the Isle of Wight, we felt
+some impatience to find ourselves fairly afloat, and actually on our
+passage "o'er the glad waters of the dark blue sea." On the fourth
+afternoon, we walked down to the beach, and strolled amid shells and
+sea-weed, along the level sands at the foot of a range of those chalky
+cliffs that characterize the southern coast of England. It was a lovely
+day. A breeze from the west was ruffling the crests of the green
+transparent waves, and wafting a few light clouds across the effulgence
+of the declining sun, whose beams danced radiantly on the surface of the
+water, gilding the black and red sails of the fishing-boats, and then
+withdrawing, at intervals, and leaving the sea in shade.
+
+"Should this wind continue," said Mr. Fenton, "we may be detained here a
+week, and have full leisure to clamber again among the ruins of
+Carisbrook Castle, and to gaze at the cloven chalk-rocks of Shankline
+Chine, and the other wonders of this pleasant little island."
+
+We then approached an old disabled sailor, who was smoking his pipe,
+seated on a dismantled cannon that lay prostrate on the sands, its iron
+mouth choked up with the sea-weed that the tide had washed into it; and
+on entering into conversation with him, we found that he was an
+out-pensioner of Greenwich hospital, and that for the last ten years he
+had passed most of his time about Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight.
+
+"Have you ever known a ship come down from London with such a wind as
+this?" inquired Mr. Fenton.
+
+"No," replied the sailor.--"After she doubles Beachy Head, this wind
+would be right in her teeth."
+
+"Then," said Mr. Fenton, turning to me--"till it changes, we may give up
+all hope of seeing our gallant vessel."
+
+"What ship are you looking for?" asked the sailor.
+
+"The Washington."
+
+"Oh! an American ship--ay, _she'll_ come down. _They_ can make their way
+with any sort of wind."[81]
+
+[Footnote 81: This implied compliment to our vessels and seamen was
+really made by a British sailor, in a similar conversation with an
+American gentleman.]
+
+He had scarcely spoken, when the flag of our country appeared beyond the
+point, its bright stars half obscured by the ample folds of the white
+and crimson stripes that, blown backward by the adverse breeze, were
+waving across them. In a moment the snowy sails of the Washington came
+full into view, shaded with purple by the setting sun.
+
+"There she is!" exclaimed my husband. "There she comes--is not an
+American ship one of the most beautiful objects created by the hand of
+man? Well, indeed, do they merit the admiration that is so frankly
+accorded to them by every nation of the earth."
+
+My husband, in his enthusiasm, shook the hand of the old sailor, and
+slipped some money into it. We remained on the beach looking at the ship
+till
+
+    "----o'er her bow the rustling cable rung,
+    The sails were furl'd; and anchoring round she swung."
+
+A boat was then lowered from her stern, and the captain came off in it.
+He walked with us to the hotel, and informed us that he should leave
+Cowes early the following day. We soon completed the preparations for
+our final departure, and before eight o'clock next morning we had taken
+our last step on British ground, and were installed in our new abode on
+the world of waters. Several of the passengers had come down in the
+ship from London; others, like ourselves, had preferred commencing their
+voyage from the Isle of Wight; and some, as we understood, were to join
+us at Plymouth.
+
+We sailed immediately. The breeze freshened, and that night and the next
+day, there was much general discomfort from sea-sickness; but,
+fortunately for us both, I was very slightly affected by that
+distressing malady, and Mr. Fenton not at all.
+
+On the third day, we were enabled to lay our course with a fair wind and
+a clear sky: the coast of Cornwall looking like a succession of low
+white clouds ranged along the edge of the northern horizon. Towards
+evening we passed the Lizard, to see land no more till we should descry
+it on the other side of the Atlantic. As Mr. Fenton and myself leaned
+over the taffrail, and saw the last point of England fade dimly from our
+view, we thought with regret of the shore we were leaving behind us, and
+of much that we had seen, and known, and enjoyed in that country of
+which all that remained to our lingering gaze was a dark spot so distant
+and so small as to be scarcely perceptible. Soon we could discern it no
+longer: and nothing of Europe was now left to us but the indelible
+recollections that it has impressed upon our minds. We turned towards
+the region of the descending sun--
+
+    "To where his setting splendours burn
+    Upon the western sea-maid's urn,"
+
+and we vainly endeavoured to direct all our thoughts and feelings
+towards our home beyond the ocean--our beloved American home.
+
+On that night, as on many others, when our ship was careering through
+the sea, with her yards squared, and her sails all trimmed to a fresh
+and favouring breeze, while we sat on a sofa in the lesser cabin, and
+looked up through the open skylight at the stars that seemed flying over
+our heads, we talked of the land we had so recently quitted. We talked
+of her people, who though differing from ours in a thousand minute
+particulars, are still essentially the same. Our laws, our institutions,
+our manners, and our customs are derived from theirs: we are benefited
+by the same arts, we are enlightened by the same sciences. Their noble
+and copious language is fortunately ours--their Shakspeare also belongs
+to us; and we rejoice that we can possess ourselves of his "thoughts
+that breathe, and words that burn," in all their original freshness and
+splendour, unobscured by the mist of translation. Though the ocean
+divides our dwelling-places: though the sword and the cannon-shot have
+sundered the bonds that once united us to her dominion: though the
+misrepresentations of travelling adventurers have done much to foster
+mutual prejudices, and to embitter mutual jealousies, still we share the
+pride of our parent in the glorious beings she can number among the
+children of her island home, for
+
+    "Yet lives the blood of England in our veins."
+
+On the fourth day of our departure from the Isle of Wight, we found
+ourselves several hundred miles from land, and consigned to the
+solitudes of that ocean-desert, "dark-heaving-boundless--endless--and
+sublime"--whose travellers find no path before them, and leave no track
+behind. But the wind was favourable, the sky was bright, the passengers
+had recovered their health and spirits, and for the first time were all
+able to present themselves at the dinner-table; and there was really
+what might be termed a "goodly company."
+
+It is no longer the custom in American packet ships for ladies to
+persevere in what is called a sea-dress: that is, a sort of dishabille
+prepared expressly for the voyage. Those who are not well enough to
+devote some little time and attention to their personal appearance,
+rarely come to the general table, but take their meals in their own
+apartment. The gentlemen, also, pay as much respect to their toilet as
+when on shore.
+
+The _coup d'oeil_ of the dinner-table very much resembles that of a
+fashionable hotel. All the appurtenances of the repast are in handsome
+style. The eatables are many of them such as, even on shore, would be
+considered delicacies, and they are never deficient in abundance and
+variety. Whatever may be the state of the weather, or the motion of the
+ship, the steward and the cook are unfailing in their duty; constantly
+fulfilling their arduous functions with the same care and regularity.
+The breakfast-table is always covered with a variety of relishes, and
+warm cakes. At noon there is a luncheon of pickled oysters, cold ham,
+tongue, &c. The dinner consists of fowls, ducks, geese, turkeys, fresh
+pork or mutton; for every ship is well supplied with live poultry, pigs
+and sheep. During the first week of the voyage there is generally fresh
+beef on the table, it being brought on board from the last place at
+which the vessel has touched: and it is kept on deck wrapped closely in
+a sail-cloth, and attached to one of the masts, the salt atmosphere
+preserving it. Every day at the dessert there are delicious pies and
+puddings, followed by almonds, raisins, oranges, &c.; and the tea-table
+is profusely set out with rich cakes and sweetmeats. For the sick there
+is always an ample store of sago, arrow-root, pearl-barley, tamarinds,
+&c. Many persons have an opportunity, during their passage across the
+Atlantic, of living more luxuriously than they have ever done in their
+lives, or perhaps ever will again. Our passengers were not too numerous.
+The lesser cabin was appropriated to three other ladies and myself. It
+formed our drawing-room; the gentlemen being admitted only as visiters.
+One of the ladies was Mrs. Calcott, an amiable and intelligent woman,
+who was returning with her husband from a long residence in England.
+Another was Miss Harriet Audley, a very pretty and very lively young
+lady from Virginia, who had been visiting a married sister in London,
+and was now on her way home under the care of the captain, expecting to
+meet her father in New York. We were much amused during the voyage with
+the coquetry of our fair Virginian, as she aimed her arrows at nearly
+all the single gentlemen in turn; and with her frankness in openly
+talking of her designs, and animadverting on their good or ill success.
+The gentlemen, with the usual vanity of their sex, always believed Miss
+Audley's attacks on their hearts to be made in earnest, and that she was
+deeply smitten with each of them in succession; notwithstanding that the
+smile in her eye was far more frequent than the blush on her cheek; and
+notwithstanding that rumour had asserted the existence of a certain
+cavalier in the neighbourhood of Richmond, whose constancy it was
+supposed she would eventually reward with her hand, as he might be
+considered, in every sense of the term, an excellent match.
+
+Our fourth female passenger was Mrs. Cummings, a plump, rosy-faced old
+lady of remarkably limited ideas, who had literally passed her whole
+life in the city of London. Having been recently left a widow, she had
+broken up housekeeping, and was now on her way to join a son established
+in New York, who had very kindly sent for her to come over and live with
+him. The rest of the world was almost a sealed book to her, but she
+talked a great deal of the Minories, the Poultry, the Old Jewry,
+Cheapside, Long Acre, Bishopsgate Within, and Bishopsgate Without, and
+other streets and places with, appellations equally expressive.
+
+The majority of the male passengers were pleasant and companionable--and
+we thought we had seen them all in the course of the first three
+days--but on the fourth, we heard the captain say to one of the waiters,
+"Juba, ask that gentleman if I shall have the pleasure of taking wine
+with him." My eyes now involuntarily followed the direction of Juba's
+movements, feeling some curiosity to know who "that gentleman" was, as I
+now recollected having frequently heard the epithet within the last few
+days. For instance, when almost every one was confined by sea-sickness
+to their state-rooms, I had seen the captain despatch a servant to
+inquire of that gentleman if he would have anything sent to him from the
+table. Also, I had heard Hamilton, the steward, call out,--"There, boys,
+don't you hear that gentleman ring his bell--why don't you run
+spontaneously--jump, one of you, to number eleventeen." I was puzzled
+for a moment to divine which state-room bore the designation of
+eleventeen, but concluded it to be one of the many unmeaning terms that
+characterize the phraseology of our coloured people. Once or twice I
+wondered who that gentleman could be; but something else happened
+immediately to divert my attention.
+
+Now, when I heard Captain Santlow propose taking wine with him, I
+concluded that, of course, that gentleman must be visible in _propria
+persona_, and, casting my eyes towards the lower end of the table, I
+perceived a genteel-looking man whom I had not seen before. He was
+apparently of no particular age, and there was nothing in his face that
+could lead any one to guess at his country. He might have been English,
+Scotch, Irish, or American; but he had none of the characteristic marks
+of either nation. He filled his glass, and bowing his head to Captain
+Santlow, who congratulated him on his recovery, he swallowed his wine in
+silence. There was an animated conversation going on near the head of
+the table, between Miss Audley and two of her beaux, and we thought no
+more of him.
+
+At the close of the dessert, we happened to know that he had quitted the
+table and gone on deck, by one of the waiters coming down and requesting
+Mr. Overslaugh (who was sitting a-tilt, while discussing his walnuts,
+with his chair balanced on one leg, and his head leaning against the
+wainscot) to let him pass for a moment, while he went into No.
+eleventeen for that gentleman's overcoat. I now found that the servants
+had converted No. 13 into eleventeen. By-the-bye, that gentleman had a
+state-room all to himself, sometimes occupying the upper and sometimes
+the under berth.
+
+"Captain Santlow," said Mr. Fenton, "allow me to ask you the name of
+that gentleman."
+
+"Oh! I don't know"--replied the captain, trying to suppress a smile--"at
+least I have forgotten it--some English name; for he is an
+Englishman--he came on board at Plymouth, and his indisposition
+commenced immediately. Mrs. Cummings, shall I have the pleasure of
+peeling an orange for you?"
+
+I now recollected a little incident which had set me laughing soon after
+we left Plymouth, and when we were beating down the coast of Devonshire.
+I had been trying to write at the table in the Ladies' Cabin, but it was
+one of those days when
+
+    "Our paper, pen and ink, and we
+    Roll up and down our ships at sea."
+
+And all I could do was to take refuge in my berth, and endeavour to
+read, leaving the door open for more air. My attention, however, was
+continually withdrawn from my book by the sound of things that were
+dislodged from their places, sliding or falling, and frequently
+suffering destruction; though sometimes miraculously escaping unhurt.
+
+While I was watching the progress of two pitchers that had been tossed
+out of the washing-stand, and after deluging the floor with water, had
+met in the Ladies' Cabin, and were rolling amicably side by side,
+without happening to break each other, I saw a barrel of flour start
+from the steward's pantry, and running across the dining-room, stop at a
+gentleman that lay extended in a lower berth with his room door open,
+and pour out its contents upon him, completely enveloping him in a fog
+of meal. I heard the steward, who was busily engaged in mopping up the
+water that had flowed from the pitchers, call out, "Run, boys, run, that
+gentleman's smothering up in flour--go take the barrel off him--jump, I
+tell you!"
+
+How that gentleman acted while hidden in the cloud of flour, I could not
+perceive, and immediately the closing of the folding doors shut out the
+scene.
+
+For a few days after he appeared among us, there was some speculation
+with regard to this nameless stranger, whose taciturnity seemed his
+chief characteristic. One morning while we were looking at the gambols
+of a shoal of porpoises that were tumbling through the waves and
+sometimes leaping out of them, my husband made some remark on the clumsy
+antics of this unsightly fish, addressing himself, for the first time,
+to the unknown Englishman, who happened to be standing near him. That
+gentleman smiled affably, but made no reply. Mr. Fenton pursued the
+subject--and that gentleman smiled still more affably, and walked away.
+
+Nevertheless, he was neither deaf nor dumb, nor melancholy, but had only
+"a great talent for silence," and as is usually the case with persons
+whose genius lies that way, he was soon left entirely to himself, no one
+thinking it worth while to take the trouble of extracting words from
+him. In truth, he was so impracticable, and at the same time so
+evidently insignificant, and so totally uninteresting, that his
+fellow-passengers tacitly conveyed him to Coventry; and in Coventry he
+seemed perfectly satisfied to dwell. Once or twice Captain Santlow was
+asked again if he recollected the name of that gentleman; but he always
+replied with a sort of smile, "I cannot say I do--not exactly, at
+least--but I'll look at my manifest and see"--and he never failed to
+turn the conversation to something else.
+
+The only person that persisted in occasionally talking to that
+gentleman, was old Mrs. Cummings; and she confided to him her perpetual
+alarms at "the perils of the sea," considering him a good hearer, as he
+never made any reply, and was always disengaged, and sitting and
+standing about, apparently at leisure while the other gentlemen were
+occupied in reading, writing, playing chess, walking the deck, &c.
+
+Whenever the ship was struck by a heavy sea, and after quivering with
+the shock, remained motionless for a moment before she recovered herself
+and rolled the other way, poor Mrs. Cummings supposed that we had run
+against a rock, and could not be convinced that rocks were not dispersed
+every where about the open ocean. And as that gentleman never attempted
+to undeceive her on this or any other subject, but merely listened with
+a placid smile, she believed that he always thought precisely as she
+did. She not unfrequently discussed to him, in an under tone, the
+obstinacy and incivility of the captain, who she averred, with truth,
+had never in any one instance had the politeness to stop the ship, often
+as she had requested, nay implored him to do so even when she was
+suffering with sea-sickness, and actually tossed out of her berth by the
+violence of the storm, though she was holding on with both hands.
+
+One day, while we were all three sitting in the round-house (that very
+pleasant little saloon on the upper deck, at the head of the
+cabin-staircase), my attention was diverted from my book by hearing Mrs.
+Cummings say to that gentleman, "Pray, sir, can you tell me what is the
+matter with that poor man's head? I mean the man that has to stand
+always at the wheel there, holding it fast and turning it. I hear the
+captain call out to him every now and then (and in a very rough voice
+too, sometimes), 'How is your head?' and 'How is your head now?' I
+cannot understand what the man says in answer, so I suppose he speaks
+American; but the captain often tells him 'to keep it steady.' And once
+I heard the captain call out 'Port--port,' which I was very glad of,
+concluding that the poor fellow had nearly given out, and he was
+ordering a glass of port wine to revive him. Do you think, sir, that the
+poor man at the wheel has a constant headache like my friend Mrs.
+Dawlish of Leadenhall street, or that he has hurt his head somehow, by
+falling out of the sails, or tumbling down the ropeladders--(there
+now--we've struck a rock!--mercy on us--what a life we lead! I wish I
+was on Ludgate Hill.) Talking of hurts, I have not escaped them myself,
+for I've had my falls; and yet the captain is so rude as to turn a deaf
+ear, and keeps sailing on all the same, even when the breath is nearly
+knocked out of me, and though I've offered several times to pay him for
+stopping, but he only laughs at me. By-the-bye, when I go back again to
+dear old England, and I'm sorry enough that I ever left it (as Mr.
+Stackhouse, the great corn-chandler in Whitechapel, told me I certainly
+should be), I'll see and take my passage with a captain that has more
+feeling for the ladies. As for this one, he never lets the ship rest a
+minute, but he keeps forcing her on day and night. I doubt whether
+she'll last the voyage out, with all this wear and tear--and then if she
+_should_ give in, what's to become of us all? If he would only let her
+stand still while we are at table, that we might eat our dinners in
+peace!--though it's seldom I'm well enough to eat anything to speak
+of--I often make my whole dinner of the leg and wing of a goose, and a
+slice or two of plum-pudding; but there's no comfort in eating, when we
+are one minute thrown forward with our heads bowing down to the very
+table-cloth, and the next minute flung back with them knocking against
+the wall."
+
+"There was the other day at breakfast you know, we had all the cabin
+windows shut up at eight o'clock in the morning, which they called
+putting in the dead-lights--(I cannot see why shutters should be called
+lights)--and they put the lid on the skylight, and made it so dark that
+we had to breakfast with lamps. There must have been some strange
+mismanagement, or we need not have been put to all that inconvenience;
+and then when the ship almost fell over, they let a great flood of sea
+come pouring down among us, sweeping the plates off the table, and
+washing the very cups out of our hands, and filling our mouths with salt
+water, and ruining our dresses. I wonder what my friend Mrs. Danks, of
+Crutched Friars, would say if she had all this to go through--she that
+is so afraid of the water, she won't go over London Bridge for fear it
+should break down with her, and therefore visits nobody that lives in
+the Borough--there now--a rock again! I wish I was in St. Paul's Church
+Yard! Dear me!--what will become of us?"
+
+"Upon my word I can't tell," said that gentleman, as he rose and walked
+out on deck.
+
+I then endeavoured to set the old lady right, by explaining to her that
+the business of the man at the wheel was to steer the vessel, and that
+he was not always the same person, the helmsman being changed at regular
+periods. I also made her understand that the captain only meant to ask
+in what direction was the head of the ship--and that "port--port,"
+signified that he should put up the helm to the larboard or left side.
+
+I could not forbear repeating to Captain Santlow the ludicrous mistake
+of Mrs. Cummings, and her unfounded sympathy for the man at the wheel.
+He laughed, and said it reminded him of a story he had heard concerning
+an old Irish woman, a steerage passenger, that early in the morning
+after a stormy night, was found by the mate, cautiously creeping along
+the deck and looking round at every step, with a bottle of whiskey
+half-concealed under her apron. On the mate asking her what she was
+going to do with the whiskey, she replied, "I'm looking for that cratur
+Bill Lay, that ye were all calling upon the whole night long, and not
+giving him a minute to rest himself. I lay in my bed and I heard ye
+tramping and shouting over head!--'twas nothing but Bill Lay[82] here,
+and Bill Lay there, and Bill Lay this, and Bill Lay that--and a weary
+time he's had of it--for it was yourselves that could do nothing without
+him, great shame to ye. And I thought I'd try and find him out, the
+sowl, and bring him a drop of comfort, for it's himself that nades it."
+
+[Footnote 82: Belay--a sea-term, signifying to secure or make fast a
+rope.]
+
+Mrs. Cummings's compassion for the helmsman was changed into a somewhat
+different feeling a few days after. The captain and Mr. Fenton were
+sitting near the wheel earnestly engaged in a game of chess. The wind
+had been directly ahead for the last twenty-four hours, and several of
+the passengers were pacing the deck, and looking alternately at the
+sails and the dog-vane--suddenly there was an exclamation from one of
+them, of "Captain--captain--the wind has changed--it has just gone
+about!" Captain Santlow started up, and perceived that the little flag
+was apparently blowing in another direction; but on looking at the
+compass, he discovered the truth--it was now found that the steersman,
+who happened to understand chess, was so interested with the game which
+was playing immediately before him, that he had for a moment forgotten
+his duty, and inadvertently allowed the head of the ship to fall off
+half a dozen points from the wind. The error was immediately rectified;
+and Captain Santlow (who never on any occasion lost his temper) said
+coolly to the helmsman, "For this, sir, your grog shall be stopped."
+
+This little incident afforded an additional excitement to the ever-ready
+fears of Mrs. Cummings, who now took it into her head that if (as she
+phrased it) the wheel was turned the wrong way, it would overset the
+ship. Upon finding that the delinquent was an American, she opined that
+there could be no safety in a vessel where the sailors understood chess.
+And whenever we had a fresh breeze (such as she always persisted in
+calling a violent storm) she was very importunate with the captain not
+to allow the chess-man to take the wheel.
+
+"Ah!" said Mrs. Cummings, "I am sure there is no such thing in his
+majesty's ships, as sailors knowing chess or any of those hard things
+that are enough to set one crazy to think of. In my own dear country,
+people are saving of their wits; but you Americans always know more of
+everything than you ought to. I don't wonder so few of you look plump
+and ruddy. You all wear yourselves out with head-work. Your eyes are not
+half so big as ours, for they are fairly sunk in your heads with
+thinking and contriving. To be sure, at our house in the Minories we
+always kept a pack of cards in the parlour closet. But we never played
+any but very easy games, for it was not our way to make a toil of
+pleasure. Mercy on me!--what a rock!--I wish I was at the Back of St.
+Clements--How I have seen the Potheridge family in Throgmorton street,
+ponder and study over a game of whist as if their lives depended on
+every card. I had to play whist whenever I drank tea there, for they
+were never satisfied unless they were at it every night; and I hated it,
+because I always happened to get old Miss Nancy for a partner, and she
+was so sharp and so cross, and was continually finding fault with me for
+something she called reneaging. Whenever I gave out that I was one by
+honours, she always said it was no such thing; and she downright
+scolded, when after she had played an ace I played a king; or when she
+had trumped first and I made all sure by trumping too. Now what I say is
+this--a trick can't be too well taken. But I'm not for whist--give me a
+good easy game where you can't go wrong, such as I've been used to all
+my life; though, no doubt when I get to America, I shall find my son
+Jacky playing chess and whist and despising Beggar my neighbour."
+
+In less than a fortnight after we left the British Channel, we were off
+the Banks of Newfoundland; and, as is frequently the case in their
+vicinity, we met with cold foggy weather. It cleared a little about
+seven in the morning, and we then discovered no less than three
+ice-bergs to leeward. One of them, whose distance from us was perhaps a
+mile, appeared higher than the mainmast head, and as the top shot up
+into a tall column, it looked like a vast rock with a light-house on its
+pinnacle. As the cold and watery sunbeams gleamed fitfully upon it, it
+exhibited in some places the rainbow tints of a prism--other parts were
+of a dazzling white, while its sharp angular projections seemed like
+masses of diamonds glittering upon snow.
+
+The fog soon became so dense, that in looking over the side of the ship
+we could not discern the sea. Fortunately, it was so calm that we
+scarcely moved, or the danger of driving on the ice-bergs would have
+been terrific. We had now no other means of ascertaining our distance
+from them, but by trying the temperature of the water with a
+thermometer.
+
+In the afternoon, the fog gathered still more thickly round us, and
+dripped from the rigging, so that the sailors were continually swabbing
+the deck. I had gone with Mr. Fenton to the round-house, and looked a
+while from its windows on the comfortless scene without. The only
+persons then on the main-deck were the captain and the first mate. They
+were wrapped in their watch-coats, their hair and whiskers dripping with
+the fog-dew. Most of the passengers went to bed at an early hour, and
+soon all was awfully still; Mrs. Cummings being really too much
+frightened to talk, only that she sometimes wished herself in
+Shoreditch, and sometimes in Houndsditch. It was a night of real danger.
+The captain remained on deck till morning, and several of the gentlemen
+bore him company, being too anxious to stay below.
+
+About day-break, a heavy shower of rain dispersed the fog--"the
+conscious vessel waked as from a trance"--a breeze sprung up that
+carried us out of danger from the ice-bergs, which were soon diminished
+to three specks on the horizon, and the sun rose bright and cheerfully.
+
+Towards noon, the ladies recollected that none of them had seen that
+gentleman during the last twenty-four hours, and some apprehension was
+expressed lest he should have walked overboard in the fog. No one could
+give any account of him, or remember his last appearance; and Miss
+Audley professed much regret that now, in all probability, we should
+never be able to ascertain his name, as, most likely, he had "died and
+made no sign." To our shames be it spoken, not one of us could cry a
+tear at his possible fate. The captain had turned into his berth, and
+was reposing himself after the fatigue of last night; so we could make
+no inquiry of him on the subject of our missing fellow-passenger.
+
+Mrs. Cummings called the steward, and asked him how long it was since he
+had seen anything of that gentleman. "I really can't tell, madam,"
+replied Hamilton; "I can't pretend to charge my memory with such things.
+But I conclude he must have been seen yesterday--at least I rather
+expect he was."
+
+The waiter Juba was now appealed to: "I believe, madam," said Juba--"I
+remember something of handing that gentleman the bread-basket yesterday
+at dinner--but I would not be qualified as to whether the thing took
+place or not, my mind being a good deal engaged at the time."
+
+Solomon, the third waiter, disclaimed all positive knowledge of this or
+any other fact, but sagely remarked, "that it was very likely that
+gentleman had been about all yesterday, as usual; yet still it was just
+as likely he might not; and there was only one thing certain, which
+was, that if he was not nowhere, he must, of course, be somewhere."
+
+"I have a misgiving," said Mrs. Cummings, "that he will never be found
+again."
+
+"I'll tell you what I can do, madam," exclaimed the steward, looking as
+if suddenly struck with a bright thought--"I can examine into No.
+eleventeen, and see if I can perceive him there." And softly opening the
+door of the state-room in question, he stepped back, and said with a
+triumphant flourish of his hand--"There he is, ladies, there he is in
+the upper berth, fast asleep in his double-cashmere dressing-gown. I
+opinionate that he was one of the gentlemen that stayed on deck all
+night, because they were afraid to go to sleep on account of the
+icebergers.--Of course, nobody noticed him--but there he is _now_, safe
+enough."
+
+Instantly we proceeded _en masse_ towards No. eleventeen, to convince
+ourselves: and there indeed we saw that gentleman lying asleep in his
+double cashmere dressing-gown. He opened his eyes, and seemed surprised,
+as well he might, at seeing all the ladies and all the servants ranged
+before the door of his room, and gazing in at him: and then we all stole
+off, looking foolish enough.
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Cummings, "he is not dead, however,--so we have yet a
+chance of knowing his name from himself, if we choose to ask him. But
+I'm determined I'll make the captain tell it me, as soon as he gets up.
+It's all nonsense, this making a secret of a man's name."
+
+"I suspect," said Mr. Fenton, who had just then entered the cabin, "we
+shall find it
+
+    ----'a name unpronouncea_ble_,
+    Which nobody can speak and nobody can spell.'"
+
+"I never," observed Mrs. Cummings, "knew but one name that could neither
+be spoke nor spelt--and that was the great general's, that was so often
+in the papers at the time people were talking about the Poles."
+
+"Sczrynecki?" said Mr. Fenton.
+
+"Oh! I don't know how _you_ call him," replied Mrs. Cummings; "but Mr.
+Upshaw of Great Knight Rider street, said it was 'Screw him sky high.'
+And Dr. Mangleman of Cateaton street (who was always to me a very
+disagreeable person, because he always talked of disagreeable things),
+said it was 'Squeeze neck and eyes out.' A very unpleasant person was
+Dr. Mangleman. His talk was enough to make well people sick, and sick
+people sicker--I'm glad he's not on board o' ship with us. He told us
+one day at Mrs. Winceby's dinner-table, when some of us were eating
+calf's head, and some roast pig, about his dissecting a man that was
+hanged, and how he took his knife and--"
+
+"I really believe," said I, wishing to be spared the story, "that we
+have actually struck a rock this time."
+
+"There now," exclaimed Mrs. Cummings, "you see I am right, after all. If
+it is not a rock, it is one of those great hills of ice that has turned
+about and is coming right after us--Mercy on us! I wish I was in Middle
+Row, Holborn! Let us go on deck, and see."
+
+We went on deck, and saw a whale, which was spouting at a distance.
+While looking at it, we were joined by Captain Santlow, and the
+conversation turning entirely on whales, that gentleman and his name
+were again forgotten.
+
+Among the numerous steerage passengers was a young man whose profession
+was that of a methodist preacher. Having succeeded in making some
+religious impressions on the majority of his companions, he one Sunday
+obtained their consent to his performing divine service that evening in
+the steerage: and respectfully intimated that he would be highly
+gratified by the attendance of any of the cabin passengers that would
+condescend to honour him so far. Accordingly, after tea, we all
+descended to the steerage at early candle-light, and found everything
+prepared for the occasion. A barrel, its head covered with a piece of
+sail-cloth, served as a desk, lighted by two yellowish dip candles
+placed in empty porter bottles. But as there was considerable motion, it
+was found that the bottles would not rest in their stations; therefore,
+they were held by two boys. The chests and boxes nearest to the desk,
+were the seats allotted to the ladies and gentlemen: and the steerage
+people ranged themselves behind.
+
+A hymn was sung to a popular tune. The prayer and sermon were delivered
+in simple but impressive language; for the preacher, though a poor and
+illiterate man, was not deficient either in sense or feeling, and was
+evidently imbued with the sincerest piety. There was something solemn
+and affecting in the aspect of the whole scene, with all its rude
+arrangement; and also in the idea of the lonely and insulated situation
+of our little community, with "one wide water all around us." And when
+the preacher, in his homely but fervent language, returned thanks for
+our hitherto prosperous voyage, and prayed for our speedy and safe
+arrival at our destined port, tears stood in the eyes of many of his
+auditors. I thought, when it was over, how frequently such scenes must
+have occurred between the decks of the May-flower, during the long and
+tempestuous passage of that pilgrim band who finally
+
+          "moored their bark
+    On the wild New England shore,"
+
+and how often
+
+    "Amid the storm they sung,
+      And the stars heard, and the sea--"
+
+when the wise and pious Brewster lifted his voice in exhortation and
+prayer, and the virtuous Carver, and the gallant Standish, bowed their
+heads in devotion before him.
+
+Another of the steerage passengers was a lieutenant in the British army,
+a man about forty years old, of excellent education, polished manners,
+and a fine military deportment. He was accompanied by his family, and
+they excited much sympathy among the ladies and gentlemen of the cabin.
+He had a wife, a handsome, modest, and intelligent looking woman, and
+five very pretty children, three boys and two girls. Being reduced to
+half-pay, seeing no chance of promotion, and weary of living on "hope
+deferred that maketh the heart sick," Lieutenant Lynford had resolved to
+emigrate, and settle on a grant of land accorded to him in Canada in
+consequence of his having been in service there during our last war. He
+believed that the new world would offer better prospects to his
+children, and that he could there support his family at less expense
+than in Europe. Unable to afford the cost of their passage in the cabin,
+he was under the painful necessity of bringing them over in the
+steerage, amidst all its unimaginable and revolting inconveniences.
+
+It was impossible to regard this unfortunate and misplaced family
+without emotions of deep interest and sincere commiseration; they were
+so evidently out of their proper sphere, and it must have been so
+painful to the feelings of a gentleman and lady to live in almost
+immediate contact with the coarse and vulgar tenants of that crowded and
+comfortless part of the vessel.
+
+Mr. Fenton, and others of the gentlemen, took great pleasure in
+conversing with Lieutenant Lynford; though, according to rule, the poor
+officer was not permitted, as a steerage passenger, to come aft the
+mainmast. Therefore, their conversations had to take place at the
+extreme limits of the boundary line, which the lieutenant was scrupulous
+in never overstepping.
+
+His wife, a lady both in appearance and manner, was seldom seen on deck,
+except when her husband prevailed on her to come up with him to look at
+something that made a spectacle, or an event, in the monotony of our
+usual sea-view. We understood that they had surrounded the narrow space
+allotted to their beds with a sort of partition, made by suspending a
+screen of quilts and blankets, so as to interpose a slight barrier
+between themselves and the disgusting scenes, and frequently disgusting
+people with whom it was their hard fate to be associated during the
+voyage; and whose jealousy and ill-will would have been immediately
+excited by any attempt on the part of the captain or the cabin
+passengers, to alleviate the discomforts to which the unfortunate
+Lynfords were subjected.
+
+The regulation that no light shall be allowed in the steerage, except on
+some extraordinary occasion (and which originates in the danger of the
+ship being carelessly set on fire), must have been an almost intolerable
+grievance to Lieutenant Lynford, and his wife and children. I often
+thought of them while we were spending our evenings so agreeably in
+various amusements and occupations round the cabin tables, brightly
+illuminated by the elegant lamps that were suspended from the ceiling. I
+felt how long and how dismally _their_ evenings must have passed,
+capable as they were in mind, in taste, and in education, of the same
+enjoyments as ourselves; and therefore feeling with double intensity the
+severe pressure of their hard and unmerited condition.
+
+After crossing the Banks we seemed to feel ourselves on American ground,
+or rather on American sea. As our interest increased on approaching the
+land of our destination, that gentleman was proportionably overlooked
+and forgotten. He "kept the even tenor of his way," and we had become
+scarcely conscious that he was still among us: till one day, when there
+was rather a hard gale, and the waves were running high, we were
+startled, as we surrounded the luncheon table, by a tremendous noise on
+the cabin staircase, and the sudden bursting open of the door at its
+foot. We all looked up, and saw that gentleman falling down stairs, with
+both arms extended, as he held in one hand a tall cane stool, and in
+the other the captain's barometer, which had hung just within the upper
+door; he having involuntarily caught hold of both these articles with a
+view of saving himself. "While his head, as he tumbled, went nicketty
+nock," his countenance, for once, assumed a new expression, and the
+change from its usual unvarying sameness was so striking, that, combined
+with his ludicrous attitude, it set us all to laughing. The waiters ran
+forward and assisted him to rise; and it was then found that the stool
+and the barometer had been the greatest sufferers; one having lost a
+leg, and the other being so shattered that the stair-carpet was covered
+with globules of quicksilver. However, he retired to his state-room, and
+whether or not he was seen again before next morning, I cannot
+positively undertake to say.
+
+On the edge of the Gulf Stream, we had a day of entire calm, when "there
+was not a breath the blue wave to curl." A thin veil of haziness
+somewhat softened the fires of the American sun (as it was now called by
+the European passengers), and we passed the whole day on deck, in a
+delightful state of idle enjoyment; gazing on the inhabitants of the
+deep, that, like ourselves, seemed to be taking a holiday. Dolphins,
+horse-mackerel, and porpoises were sporting round the vessel, and the
+flying-fish, "with brine still dropping from its wings," was darting up
+into the sun-light; while flocks of petrels, their black plumage tinged
+with flame-colour, seemed to rest on the surface of the water; and the
+nautilus, "the native pilot of his little bark," glided gayly along the
+dimpling mirror that reflected his tiny oars and gauzy sail. We fished
+up large clusters of sea-weed, among which were some beautiful specimens
+of a delicate purple colour, which, when viewed through a microscope,
+glittered like silver, and were covered with little shell-fish so minute
+as to be invisible to the naked eye.
+
+It was a lovely day. The lieutenant and his family were all on deck, and
+looked happy. That gentleman looked as usual. Towards evening, a breeze
+sprung up directly fair, and filled the sails, which all day had been
+clinging idly to the masts; and before midnight we were wafted along at
+the rate of nine knots an hour, "while round the waves phosphoric
+brightness broke," the ship seeming, as she cleaved the foam, to draw
+after her in her wake a long train of stars.
+
+Next day, we continued to proceed rapidly, with a fair wind, which we
+knew would soon bring us to the end of our voyage. The ladies' cabin was
+now littered with trunks and boxes, brought from the baggage-room that
+we might select from them such articles as we thought we should require
+when we went on shore.
+
+But we were soon attracted to the deck, to see the always interesting
+experiment of sounding with the deep-sea lead. To our great joy, it came
+up (though from almost immeasurable depth) with a little sand adhering
+to the cake of tallow at the bottom of the plummet. The breeze was
+increasing, and Mr. Overslaugh, whose pretensions to nautical knowledge
+were considered very shallow by his fellow amateurs, remarked to my
+husband: "If this wind holds, I should not wonder if we are aground in
+less than two hour."
+
+Before Mr. Fenton could reply, Mrs. Cummings exclaimed: "Aground, did
+you say!"--And she scuttled away with greater alacrity than we had ever
+seen her evince on any former occasion. Some time after, on entering the
+ladies' cabin, I found that the old dame, with her usual misconstruction
+of sea-phrases, had rejoicingly dressed herself in a very showy suit
+prepared for her first landing in America, and was now in the act of
+buttoning at the ankles a pair of frilled leggings to "go aground in,"
+as she informed me.
+
+I explained to her her mistake, at which she was wofully disappointed,
+and proportionately alarmed, ejaculating--"Oh! if I was only back
+again--anywhere at all--even in the very out-scouts of London--rather
+than stay another night in this dreadful ship!--To think, that after all
+my sufferings at sea, I may be blown headforemost ashore, and drowned on
+dry land at last!"
+
+However, I succeeded in calming her terrors; and seeing her engaged in
+taking off her finery to resume the black silk she had worn during the
+voyage, I left Mrs. Cummings, and returned to my husband. The wind,
+though still fair, had decreased towards the close of the day, and was
+now mild and balmy. When I saw the white wings of a flight of curlews
+glancing against the bright crimson glories of the sunset sky, I could
+not help saying, "those birds will reach their nests at twilight, and
+their nests are in America."
+
+We remained on deck the whole evening, believing it probably the last we
+should spend together; and the close companionship of four weeks in the
+very circumscribed limits of a ship, had made us seem like one family.
+
+We talked of the morrow, and I forgot that that gentleman was among us,
+till I saw him leave the deck to retire for the night. The thought then
+struck me, that another day, and we should cease perhaps to remember his
+existence.
+
+I laid my head on my pillow with the understanding that land would be
+discovered before morning, and I found it impossible to sleep. Mr.
+Fenton went on deck about midnight, and remained there till dawn. What
+American, when returning to his native country, and almost in view of
+its shores, is not reminded of that night, when Columbus stood on the
+prow of the Santa Maria, and watched in breathless silence with his
+impatient companions, for the first glimpse of the long wished-for
+land--that memorable night, which gave a new impulse to the world
+already known, and to that which was about to be discovered!
+
+Near one o'clock, I heard a voice announcing the light on the highlands
+of Neversink, and in a short time all the gentlemen were on deck. At
+day-break Mr. Fenton came to ask me if I would rise, and see the morning
+dawn upon our own country. We had taken a pilot on board at two o'clock,
+had a fine fair breeze to carry us into the bay of New York, and there
+was every probability of our being on shore in a few hours. When I
+reached the deck, tears came into my eyes as I leaned on my husband's
+arm, and saw the light of Sandy Hook shining brilliantly in the dimness
+of the closing night, and emulating the morning star as it sparkled
+above the rosy streak that was brightening in the eastern horizon. We
+gazed till the rising sun sent up his first rays from behind the
+kindling and empurpled ocean, and our native shore lay clear and
+distinct before us.
+
+Soon after sunrise we were visited by a news-boat, when there was an
+exchange of papers, and much to inquire and much to tell.
+
+We were going rapidly through the Narrows, when the bell rung for
+breakfast, which Captain Santlow had ordered at an early hour, as we had
+all been up before daylight. Chancing to look towards his accustomed
+seat, I missed that gentleman, and inquired after him of the
+captain.--"Oh!" he replied, "that gentleman went on shore in the
+news-boat; did you not see him depart? He bowed all round, before he
+went down the side."
+
+"No," was the general reply; "we did not see him go." In truth, we had
+all been too much interested in hearing, reading, and talking of the
+news brought by the boat.
+
+"Then he is gone for ever," exclaimed Mrs. Cummings--"and we shall never
+know his name."
+
+"Come, Captain Santlow," said Mr. Fenton, "try to recollect it.--'Let it
+not,' as Grumio says, 'die in oblivion, while we return to our graves
+inexperienced in it.'"
+
+Captain Santlow smiled, and remained silent. "Now, captain," said Miss
+Audley, "I will not quit the ship till you tell me that gentleman's
+name.--I cannot hold out a greater threat to you, as I know you have had
+a weary time of it since I have been under your charge. Come, I set not
+my foot on shore till I know the name of that gentleman, and also why
+you cannot refrain from smiling whenever you are asked about it."
+
+"Well, then," replied Captain Santlow, "though his name is a very pretty
+one when you get it said, there is a little awkwardness in speaking it.
+So I thought I would save myself and my passengers the trouble. And
+partly for that reason, and partly to tease you all, I have withheld it
+from your knowledge during the voyage. But I can assure you he is a
+baronet."
+
+"A baronet!" cried Miss Audley; "I wish I had known that before, I
+should certainly have made a dead set at him. A baronet would have been
+far better worth the trouble of a flirtation, than you, Mr. Williams, or
+you, Mr. Sutton, or you, Mr. Belfield, or any of the other gentlemen
+that I have been amusing myself with during the voyage."
+
+"A baronet!" exclaimed Mrs. Cummings; "well, really--and have I been
+four weeks in the same ship with a baronet--and sitting at the same
+table with him,--and often talking to him face to face?--I wonder what
+Mrs. Thimbleby of Threadneedle street would say if she knew that I am
+now acquainted with a baronet!"
+
+"But what is his name, captain?" said Mr. Fenton; "still you do not tell
+us."
+
+"His name," answered the captain, "is Sir St. John St. Leger."
+
+"Sir St. John St. Leger!" was repeated by each of the company.
+
+"Yes," resumed Captain Santlow--"and you see how difficult it is to say
+it smoothly. There is more sibilation in it than in any name I
+know.--Was I not right in keeping it from you till the voyage was over,
+and thus sparing you the trouble of articulating it, and myself the
+annoyance of hearing it? See, here it is in writing."
+
+The captain took his manifest out of his pocket-book, and showed us the
+words, "Sir St. John St. Leger, of Sevenoaks, Kent."
+
+"Pho!" said Mrs. Cummings. "Where's the trouble in speaking that name,
+if you only knew the right way--I have heard it a hundred times--and
+even seen it in the newspapers. This must be the very gentleman that my
+cousin George's wife is always talking about. She has a brother that
+lives near his estate, a topping apothecary. Why, 'tis easy enough to
+say his name, if you say it as we do in England."
+
+"And how is that?" asked the captain; "what can you make of Sir St. John
+St. Leger?"
+
+"Why, Sir Singeon Sillinger, to be sure," replied Mrs. Cummings; "I am
+confident he would have answered to that name. Sir Singeon Sillinger of
+Sunnock--cousin George's wife's brother lives close by Sunnock in a
+yellow house with a red door."
+
+"And have I," said the captain, laughing, "so carefully kept his name to
+myself, during the whole passage, for fear we should have had to call
+him Sir St. John St. Leger, when all the while we might have said Sir
+Singeon Sillinger?"
+
+"To be sure you might," replied Mrs. Cummings, looking proud of the
+opportunity of displaying her superior knowledge of something. "With all
+your striving after sense you Americans are a very ignorant people,
+particularly of the right way of speaking English. Since I have been on
+board, I have heard you all say the oddest things--though I thought
+there would be no use in trying to set you right. The other day there
+was Mr. Williams talking of the church of St. Mary le bon--instead of
+saying Marrow bone. Then Mr. Belfield says, Lord Cholmondeley, instead
+of Lord Chumley, and Col. Sinclair, instead of Col. Sinkler; and Mr.
+Sutton says Lady Beauchamp, instead of Lady Beachum; and you all say
+Birmingham, instead of Brummagem. The truth is, you know nothing about
+English names. Now that name, Trollope, that you all sneer at so much,
+and think so very low, why Trollope is quite genteel in England, and so
+is Hussey. The Trollopes and Husseys belong to great families. But I
+have no doubt of finding many things that are very elegant in England,
+counted quite vulgar in America, owing to the ignorance of your people.
+For my part, I was particularly brought up to despise all manner of
+ignorance."
+
+In a short time a steamboat came alongside into which we removed
+ourselves, accompanied by the captain and the letter bags; and we
+proceeded up to the city, where Mr. Fenton and myself were met on the
+wharf, I need not tell how, and by whom.
+
+Captain Santlow informed us during our little trip in the boat, that
+soon after breakfast, the steward had brought him a letter which he had
+just found on the pillow in that gentleman's birth. It was directed to
+Lieutenant Lynford. The captain immediately went forward and presented
+it to him, and the poor officer was so overcome after opening it, that
+he could not forbear making known to Captain Santlow that it contained a
+draft for five hundred dollars on a house in New York, and a few lines
+signed St. John St. Leger, requesting Lieutenant Lynford to oblige the
+writer by making use of that sum to assist in settling his family in
+Canada.
+
+We were now all warm in our praise of that gentleman's generosity. And
+Mrs. Cummings recollected that she had heard from her cousin George's
+wife that her brother of Sunnock often said that, though he never spoke
+if he could help it, nobody did kinder things in his own quiet way than
+Sir Singeon Sillinger.
+
+
+
+
+THE SERENADES.
+
+     "Sleep you, or wake you, lady bright?"--LEWIS.
+
+
+"And now tell me the reason of your giving us the slip on Tuesday
+night," said Charles Cavender to Frederick Merrill, as they came out of
+court together, and walked into the shade of the beautiful double row of
+linden trees that interlace their branches in front of the Philadelphia
+State House, perfuming the atmosphere of early summer with the fragrance
+of their delicate yellow blossoms.
+
+"To tell you the truth," replied Merrill, "I never had much fancy for
+these regular serenading parties. And as, on Tuesday night, I had a
+presentiment that the course of ours was not going to run smoothly, and
+as I found it impossible to play with such a second as Dick
+Doubletongue, I resigned my flute to Walton, and went home for my
+guitar, being very much in the notion of taking a ramble on my own
+account, and giving a little unpretending music to several pretty girls
+of my own acquaintance."
+
+"Ah! that guitar!" exclaimed Cavender: "Since you first heard Segura, no
+Spaniard can be more completely fascinated with the instrument. And, to
+do Segura justice, he has made an excellent guitar player of you, and
+cultivated your voice with great success."
+
+"But how did you proceed after I left you?" asked Merrill.
+
+"Oh! very well!" replied Cavender; "only that infernal piano, that Harry
+Fingerley insisted on being brought along with us, was pretty
+considerable of a bore."
+
+"So I thought," responded Merrill; "to me there appeared something too
+absurd in conveying through the streets at night so cumbrous an
+instrument--carrying it on a hand-barrow, like porters."
+
+"Well," observed Cavender, "there were, however, enough of us to relieve
+each other every square. By-the-bye, I suspect that your true reason for
+deserting was to avoid taking your turn in carrying the piano."
+
+"You are not far wrong," replied Merrill, smiling.
+
+"It was a ridiculous business," resumed Cavender. "As Fingerley cannot
+touch an instrument without his notes, and always chooses to show off in
+difficult pieces, a lantern was brought along, which one of us was
+obliged to hold for him whenever he played. Unluckily, a music stool had
+been forgotten, and poor Harry, who, you know, is one of the tallest
+striplings in town, was obliged to play kneeling: and he wore the knees
+of his pantaloons threadbare, in getting through a long concerto of
+Beethoven's, before Miss Flickwire's door."
+
+"To what place did you go after I left you?" inquired Merrill.
+
+"Oh! to serenade that saucy flirt, Miss Lawless, Frank Hazeldon's flame.
+We ranged ourselves in front of the house, set down the piano and its
+elegant supporter, the hand-barrow, upon the pavement, and all struck up
+the Band March, with our eyes turned upwards, expecting that we should
+see the shutters gently open, and the pretty faces of Lucy Lawless and
+her two sisters slyly peeping down at us. But we looked in vain. No
+shutters opened, and no faces peeped."
+
+"Perhaps," said Merrill, "the family were all out of town?"
+
+"No, no," replied Cavender; "a bright light shone through the fan-glass
+over the door, which opened at last, just as we had concluded the Band
+March, and out came Bogle, followed by two or three other waiters of
+rather a more decided colour, who stood a little aloof. 'Gentlemen,'
+said Bogle, 'Miss Lawless desires her respects and compliments to you
+all, and wishes me to inquire if there is one Mr. Hazeldon among
+you?'--'Yes; I am Mr. Hazeldon,' said Frank, stepping out.--'Then,'
+resumed Bogle, with his usual flourish of hand, 'Miss Lawless presents
+her further respects and compliments, and requests me to make you
+acquainted that she has a party to-night, and as Frank Johnson was
+pre-engaged, and could not come, she desires you will play a few
+cotillions for the company to dance--and if there are any more
+gentlemen-fiddlers present, she will thank them to play too.'
+
+"There was a general burst of mingled indignation and laughter. Some of
+the serenaders advanced to put Bogle into the gutter, but he very
+naturally resisted, justly declaring that he ought not to be punished
+for obeying the lady's orders, and delivering the message
+systematically, as he termed it.
+
+"The windows of the front parlour were now thrown open, and Miss Lawless
+with her sisters appeared at them, dressed in lace and flowers. Both
+parlours were lighted up with chandeliers, and filled with company.
+
+"'Mr. Hazeldon,' said Miss Lawless, 'you and your friends have come
+precisely at the right time. Nothing could be more apropos than your
+arrival. We were all engaged with the ice-creams and jellies while you
+were playing the Band March (which, to do you justice, you performed
+very respectably), or we should have sent Bogle out to you before. Pray,
+Mr. Hazeldon, give us "Love was once a little boy;"--it makes an
+excellent cotillion--and we shall then be able to decide between the
+merits of your band and that of Mr. Francis Johnson.'--'But we are all
+gentlemen, madam,' said the simple Bob Midgely, 'and this is a
+serenade.'--'The more convenient,' replied Miss Lawless, who is really a
+very handsome girl; 'a serenade may thus be made to answer a double
+purpose--killing two birds with one stone, in proverbial parlance.'
+
+"Poor Frank Hazeldon was so much annoyed as to be incapable of reply,
+being also vexed and mortified at having no invitation to his
+lady-love's party.
+
+"But I went forward, and said to Miss Lawless, that if she and her
+friends would come out, and perform their cotillions on the pavement, we
+would have much pleasure in playing for them. To this she replied, that
+she now perceived we had no tambourine with us, and that a dance without
+that enlivening instrument must always be a very spiritless affair.
+Therefore she would excuse, for the present, the services of Mr.
+Hazeldon and his musical friends.
+
+"She then closed the window, and we bowed and moved off; resolved that
+for the future we would take care to avoid the awkward _contre-tems_ of
+serenading a lady when she is in the act of having a party. Frank
+Hazeldon loudly protested against the insolence of his dulcinea, 'who,'
+said he, 'would not dare to say and do such things, only that she knows
+herself to be (as she certainly is), the most beautiful creature on the
+face of the earth.' However, he averred that he had done with Miss
+Lawless entirely, and would scrupulously avoid all further acquaintance
+with her, now that she had not only affronted himself, but his friends.
+We advised him to consider it not so deeply."
+
+"He seems to have taken your advice," observed Merrill; "for there he
+is, just turning the corner of Sixth street with her--she laughing at
+him as usual, and he, as usual, thankful to be laughed at by her. But
+where else did you go?"
+
+"We went to two other places," replied Cavender; "where nothing
+particular happened, except that at one of them the ladies threw flowers
+down to us. Afterwards, Dick Doubletongue proposed our going into Market
+street to serenade two very pretty girls, the daughters of a wealthy
+tradesman, who, being an old-fashioned man, persevered in the
+convenience of living in the same house in which he kept his store.
+Unluckily, it was the night before market-day. We began with 'Life let
+us cherish,' which Dick assured us was a special favourite with the
+young ladies--and our music soon aroused the market-people, some of whom
+were sleeping in their carts that stood in the street, others, wrapped
+in coverlets, were bivouacking on the stalls in the market-house, to be
+ready on the spot for early morning. They started up, jumped down,
+gathered around us, and exclaimed--'Well, did ever!'--'Now, that's what
+I call music!'--'There, Polly, there's the right sort of fiddling for
+you!'--'Well, this beats _me_!'--'Law, Suz!--how they do play it
+up!'--and other equally gratifying expressions. And one woman called out
+to her husband--'Here, daddy, take up the baby, and bring him out of the
+cart, and let him hear some music-playing, now he has a chance.' So the
+baby was brought, and daddy held him close up to the flute-players, and
+the baby cried, as all babies should do when they are taken up in the
+night to hear music.
+
+"To crown all, the concert was joined by a dozen calves, who awoke from
+their uneasy slumbers in the carts, and began bleating in chorus; and by
+the crowing of various fowls, and the quacking of various ducks that
+were tied by the legs in pairs, and lying under the stalls. Every moment
+fresh market-carts came jolting and rattling over the stones, and we
+would have gone away at the conclusion of 'Life let us cherish,' only
+that Dick begged us to remain till we saw some indications of the
+ladies being awake and listening to us--a circumstance always gratifying
+to serenaders. While we were in full performance of 'The Goddess Diana,'
+we saw a light in a room up stairs, a window was opened, and there
+appeared at it two young ladies, who had evidently taken the trouble to
+arrange their hair, and attire themselves very becomingly in pink gowns
+and white collars, for the purpose of doing honour to the musicians and
+themselves. After this, we could do no less than play another of their
+favourites. When it was finished, we bowed up to the window, and they
+curtsied down to us, and the market-women approved, saying--'Law, now,
+if that a'n't pretty!--all making their manners to one another!--well,
+if we a'n't in luck to-night!'"
+
+"The combination of noises that accompanied your Market street
+serenade," observed Merrill, "reminds me of a ridiculous incident that
+occurred one night, when I and my flute were out with Tom Clearnote and
+Sam Startlem; Clearnote having his Kent bugle, and Startlem making his
+first public essay on the trombone, which he had taken a fancy to learn.
+We went to a house in Chestnut street, where there were three charming
+girls, who we soon saw had all properly disposed themselves for
+listening at the windows. We commenced with the March in Masaniello.
+Unfortunately, Sam Startlem, from having a cold, or some other cause,
+and being but a novice on the trombone, found it impossible to fill the
+instrument, or to produce any sound but a sort of hollow croak, that
+went exactly like 'Fire! fire!'--the cry which so often frights our town
+from its propriety.
+
+"Just then the watchman was passing with a dog that always followed him,
+and that had a habit of howling whenever he heard the alarm of fire. On
+meeting the strange sounds, half guttural, half nasal, from Startlem's
+trombone, he very naturally mistook them for the announcement of a
+conflagration, and set up his customary yell.[83] In a few minutes, the
+boys issued from all quarters, according to their practice, by day and
+by night whenever there is anything to be seen or heard that promises a
+mob. The supposed cry of fire was reiterated through the street; and
+spread all round. Presently two or three engines came scampering along,
+bells ringing, trumpets braying, torches flaring, and men shouting--all
+running they knew not whither; for as yet the bell of the State House
+had not tolled out its unerring signal.
+
+[Footnote 83: Fact.]
+
+"In the general confusion, we thought it best to cease playing, and
+quietly decamp, being ashamed (for the honour of our musicians) to
+inform the firemen of the real cause of the mistake; so we gladly stole
+out of the crowd, and turned into a private street.--But excuse me for
+interrupting you.--Finish your narrative."
+
+"There is little more to be said," resumed Cavender. "By the time we had
+afforded sufficient amusement to the market-people, the moon had long
+since set, and the stars begun to fade. So we all put up our
+instruments, and wearily sought our dwelling-places;--Harry Fingerley
+wisely hiring relays of black men to carry home the piano.
+
+"But we have been talking long enough under these trees," continued
+Cavender; "let us walk up Chestnut street together, and tell me what
+befell yourself while serenading according to the fashion of Old
+Castile. Of course, you went first to Miss Osbrook?"
+
+"I did," replied Merrill, smiling, and colouring a little; "and I played
+and sung for her, in my very best style, several of my very best songs.
+And I was rewarded by obtaining a glimpse of a graceful white figure at
+the window, as she half unclosed it, and seeing a white hand (half
+hidden by a ruffle) resting gently on one of the bars of the Venetian
+shutter--and as the moon was then shining brightly down, I knew that my
+divine Emily also saw _me_.
+
+"From thence I went to the residence of a blooming Quaker girl, who, I
+understood from a mutual friend, had expressed a great wish for a
+serenade. She came to the window, and was soon joined by an old nurse,
+who, I found by their conversation, had been kindly awakened by the
+considerate Rebecca, and invited by her to come to the front room and
+listen to the music; on which the half-dozing matron made no comment,
+but that 'sometimes the tune went away up, and sometimes it went right
+down.'
+
+"Having commenced with 'The Soldier's Bride,' I was somewhat surprised
+at the martial propensities of the fair Quakeress, who in a loud whisper
+to her companion, first wished that Frederick Merrill (for she had at
+once recognised me) would play and sing 'The Soldier's Tear,' and then
+'The Soldier's Gratitude.' When I had accomplished both these songs, I
+heard her tell the old woman, that she was sure 'The Battle of Prague'
+would go well on the guitar. This performance, however, I did not think
+proper to undertake, and I thereupon prepared to withdraw, to the
+audible regret of the lovely Rebecca.
+
+"As I directed my steps homeward, I happened to pass the house of a
+young lady whose family and mine have long been somewhat acquainted, and
+who has acquired (I will not say how deservedly) a most unfortunate
+_sobriquet_. At a fancy ball, last winter, she appeared in the character
+of Sterne's Maria, dressed in a white jacket and petticoat, with vine
+leaves in her hair, and a flageolet suspended by a green riband over one
+shoulder. Her mother, a very silly and illiterate woman, announced her
+as 'Strange Maria'--absurdly introducing her by that title, and saying
+repeatedly through the evening to gentlemen as well as to ladies--'Have
+you seen my daughter yet?--Have you seen Strange Maria?--There she is,
+sitting in that corner, leaning her head upon her hand--it is a part of
+her character to sit so--and when she is tired, she gets up and dances.
+She appears to-night as Strange Maria, and it suits exactly, as her name
+is really Maria. Her aunt, Mrs. Fondlesheep, chose the character for her
+out of some book, and Madame Gaubert made the jacket.'
+
+"From that night, the poor girl has gone unconsciously by this foolish
+nickname. And, unfortunately, she is almost as much of a simpleton as
+her mother, though she was educated at a great boarding-school, and said
+a great many long lessons.
+
+"I took my seat on the marble carriage-step in front of the house, and
+the moon having declined, I played and sung 'Look out upon the stars, my
+love.' Soon after I commenced, I saw a window in the second story thrown
+open, and the literal Maria doing exactly as she was bid, in earnestly
+surveying the stars--turning her head about that she might take a view
+of them in every direction.
+
+"I then began the beautiful serenading song of 'Lilla, come down to me,'
+with no other motive than that of hearing myself sing it. At the
+conclusion of the air, the front door softly opened, and Strange Maria
+appeared at it, dressed in a black silk frock, with a bonnet and shawl,
+and carrying a bundle under her arm.
+
+"She looked mysterious, and beckoned to me. I approached her, somewhat
+surprised. She put the bundle into my hands, and laying her finger on
+her lips, whispered--'All's safe--we can get off now--I have just had
+time to put up a change of clothes, and you must carry them for me.'
+
+"'My dear Miss Maria,' said I, 'what is it you mean? Excuse me for
+saying that I do not exactly comprehend you.'
+
+"'Now, don't pretend to be so stupid,' was the damsel's reply; 'did you
+not invite me in the song to come down and run away with you? You sung
+it so plain that I heard every word. There could not be a better
+opportunity, for ma's in the country, and there is never any danger of
+waking pa.'
+
+"'Really, Miss Maria,' said I, 'allow me to say that you have totally
+misunderstood me.'
+
+"'No such thing,' persisted the young lady. 'Did I not hear you over and
+over again say, "Lilla, come down to me?" Though I never was allowed to
+see a play or read a novel, I am not such a fool that I cannot
+understand when people want to run away with me. By Lilla you of course
+meant me, just as much as if you had said Maria.'
+
+"'On my honour,' I expostulated, 'you are entirely mistaken. Only permit
+me to explain'--
+
+"'Nonsense,' interrupted the lady; 'the song was plain enough. And so I
+got ready, and stole down stairs as quickly as possible. Alderman
+Pickwick always sits up late at night, and rises before day to write for
+the newspapers. He lives just round the corner, and never objects to
+marry any couple that comes to him. So let's be off.'
+
+"'I entreat you,' said I, 'to listen to me for one moment.'
+
+"'Did you bring a ring with you?' continued the fair eloper, whose
+present volubility surprised me no less than her pertinacity, having
+hitherto considered her as one of the numerous young ladies that are
+never expected to talk.
+
+"'A ring!' I repeated; 'you must pardon me, but I really had no such
+thought.'
+
+"'How careless!' exclaimed Maria. 'Don't you know that plain rings are
+the only sort used at weddings? I wish I had pulled one off the window
+curtain before I came down. I dare say, Squire Pickwick would never
+notice whether it was brass or gold.'
+
+"'There is no need of troubling yourself about a ring,' said I.
+
+"'True,' replied she, 'Quakers get married without, and why should not
+we? But come, we must not stand parleying here. You can't think, Mr.
+Merrill, how glad I am that you came for me before any one else. I would
+much rather run away with you, than with Mr. Simpson, or Mr. Tomlins, or
+Mr. Carter. Pa' says if ever he does let me marry, he'll choose for me
+himself, and I have no doubt he'll choose some ugly fright. Fathers are
+such bad judges of people.'
+
+"'Miss Maria,' said I, 'you mistake me entirely, and this error must be
+rectified at once. I must positively undeceive you.'
+
+"At that moment, the door half opened--a hand was put out, and seizing
+the arm of Maria, drew her forcibly inside. The door was then shut, and
+double locked; and I heard her receding voice, loudly exclaiming--'Oh!
+pa'--now, indeed, pa'--who'd have thought, pa', that you were listening
+all the time!'
+
+"I stood motionless with joy and surprise at this opportune release--and
+I recollected that once during our scene on the door-step, I had thought
+I heard footsteps in the entry.
+
+"Presently the father put his head out of his own window and said to
+me--'Young man, you may go, I have locked her up.'--I took him at his
+word and departed, not a little pleased at having been extricated in so
+summary a way from the dilemma in which the absurdity of Strange Maria
+had involved me."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+About a week after this conversation, Cavender inquired of his friend,
+who was visiting him at his office, if he had again been out solus on a
+serenading excursion.
+
+"No," replied Merrill, "I have had enough of that nonsense. There is no
+better cure for folly, and particularly for romantic folly, than a good
+burlesque; and I find I have been parodied most ridiculously by that
+prince of fools, old Pharaby, the bachelor in an auburn wig and corsets,
+that lives next door to Miss Osbrook. This said Pharaby assumes a
+penchant for my opposite neighbour, the rich and handsome young widow,
+Mrs. Westwyn. Taking a hint from my serenading Emily Osbrook, but far
+outdoing me, he has every night since presented himself under the
+windows of the fair widow, and tinkled a guitar--which instrument he
+professes to have learned during a three months' consulship in one of
+the Spanish West India Islands. He plays Spanish, but sings Italian; and
+with a voice and manner to make Paggi tear his hair, and Pucci drop down
+dead.
+
+"Mrs. Westwyn, whom I escorted home last evening from a visit to Miss
+Osbrook, was congratulating herself on the appearance of rain; as it
+would of course prevent her from being disturbed that night by her usual
+serenader, the regularity of whose musical visitations had become, she
+said, absolutely intolerable.
+
+"About twelve o'clock, however, I heard the customary noise in front of
+Mrs. Westwyn's house, notwithstanding that the rain had set in, and was
+falling very fast. I looked out, and beheld the persevering inamorato
+standing upright beneath the shelter of an umbrella held over his head
+by a black man, and twitching the strings of his guitar to the air of
+'Dalla gioja.' I was glad when the persecuted widow, losing all
+patience, raised her sash, and in a peremptory tone, commanded him to
+depart and trouble her no more; threatening, if he ever again repeated
+the offence, to have him taken into custody by the watchman. Poor
+Pharaby was struck aghast; and being too much disconcerted to offer an
+apology, he stood motionless for a few moments, and then replacing his
+guitar in its case, and tucking it under his arm, he stole off round the
+corner, his servant following close behind with the umbrella. From that
+moment I abjured serenades."
+
+"What! all sorts?" inquired Cavender.
+
+"All," replied Merrill--"both gregarious and solitary. The truth is, I
+this morning obtained the consent of the loveliest of women to make me
+the happiest of men, this day three months; and therefore I have
+something else to think of than strumming guitars or blowing flutes
+about the streets at night."
+
+"I congratulate you, most sincerely," said Cavender, shaking hands with
+his friend; "Miss Osbrook is certainly, as the phrase is, possessed of
+every qualification to render the marriage state happy. And though I and
+my other associates in harmony have not so good an excuse for leaving
+off our musical rambles, yet I believe we shall, at least, give them up
+till next summer--and perhaps, by that time, we may have devised some
+other means of obtaining the good graces of the ladies."
+
+"But apropos to music," continued Cavender; "if I can obtain my sister's
+permission, I will show you a letter she received some time since from a
+young friend of hers with whom she is engaged in a whimsical
+correspondence under fictitious names, somewhat in imitation of the
+ladies of the last century. Both girls have been reading the Spectator,
+and have consequently taken a fancy to the Addisonian plan of
+occasionally throwing their ideas into the form of dreams or visions;
+addressing each other as Ariella Shadow and Ombrelina Vapour."
+
+Cavender then withdrew to his sister's parlour, and in a few minutes
+returned with the letter, which he put into Merrill's hand, telling him
+to read it while he finished looking over some deeds that had been left
+with him for examination.
+
+Merrill opened the letter, and perused its contents, which we will
+present to our readers under the title of
+
+
+A DREAM OF SONGS.
+
+
+     MY DEAR OMBRELINA,
+
+     Last evening, on my return from Melania Medley's musical party,
+     where nothing was played or sung that had been out more than two or
+     three weeks, I could not but reflect on the fate that attends even
+     the most meritorious compositions of the sons of song: honoured for
+     awhile with a short-lived popularity, and then allowed to float
+     down the stream of time unnoticed and forgotten--or only remembered
+     as things too entirely _passe_ to be listened to by "_ears
+     polite_"--or even mentioned in their presence. It is true that as
+     soon as a song becomes popular it ceases to be fashionable; but is
+     not its popularity an evidence of its merit, or at least of its
+     possessing melody and originality, and of its sounds being such as
+     to give pleasure to the general ear? Who ever heard a dull and
+     insipid tune played or sung in the streets, or whistled by the
+     boys?
+
+     Falling asleep with these notions in my head, they suggested a
+     dream in which I imagined myself visited by impersonations of
+     almost innumerable songs, many of which had been "pretty fellows in
+     their day," but have now given place to others whose chief
+     characteristic is that of having no character at all.
+
+     The following outline may give you, dear Ombrelina, a slight idea
+     of my vision, making due allowance for the confusion, incoherence,
+     and absurdity that are always found in those pictures that
+     imagination, when loosened from the control of reason, presents to
+     the mind's eye of the slumberer.
+
+     "I dreamt that I dwelt in marble halls," being mistress of a
+     handsome and spacious mansion in a fine romantic country, whose
+     hills and woodlands sloped down towards the ocean. I seemed to be
+     duly prepared for the reception of a numerous party of visiters,
+     whom I recognised intuitively, as soon as I saw them, for the
+     heroes and heroines of certain well-known songs--also being
+     familiar with the characters of many of them from my intimate
+     acquaintance with Aunt Balladina's old music-books.
+
+     The earliest of my guests were some much-esteemed friends,
+     descendants of the "Scots wha hae wi' Wallace bled"--they wore "The
+     Tartan Plaidie" and "The White Cockade"--and they looked as if they
+     had all been "Over the Water to Charlie." I felt particularly
+     honoured by the presence of that gallant chieftain, "Kinloch of
+     Kinloch," who, for the express purpose of making me a visit, had
+     relinquished for a time his grouse-shooting excursions "O'er the
+     moor among the heather"--had given up his musings on "The banks and
+     braes o' Bonnie Doon," and bade for awhile "Adieu, a heartwarm fond
+     adieu" to "The Birks of Aberfeldy."
+
+     Next arrived the ancient laird "Logie o' Buchan;" and then "Auld
+     Robin Gray" came tottering along supported by his pensive daughter
+     Alice, and by "Duncan Gray," his laughter-loving son, well known
+     among the lasses as "The Braw Wooer." The Gray family took their
+     seats at "The Ingle Side," where old "John Anderson" and his wife
+     had already established themselves close together in two
+     arm-chairs. "Logie o' Buchan" joined them; but his habits being
+     somewhat taciturn, it was not till they talked of "Auld lang syne"
+     that he was induced to mingle in the conversation--yet the ice once
+     broken, he was as merry in his reminiscences as either of his
+     companions.
+
+     Robin Gray reminded the laird of Buchan of his elopement with that
+     extreme blonde the "Lassie wi' the lint-white locks," who, when
+     only "Within a mile of Edinburgh," had given him the slip and ran
+     off with "Jockey to the Fair." The laird retaliated by laughing at
+     Robin for having been one of the six-and-thirty suitors of that
+     ugliest of heiresses, "Tibby Fouller o' the Glen." John Anderson
+     was made to recollect his having been deserted in his youth by the
+     beautiful but mercenary "Katrine Ogie," who afterwards became
+     "Roy's wife of Aldivalloch," and in taking the carle and leaving
+     her Johnnie, furnished another illustration of the fallacy of the
+     remark, "Oh! say not woman's heart is bought."
+
+     These old stories were at first very amusing, but they continued so
+     long and with so many episodes and digressions, that we at length
+     discovered "We were a' noddin." Finally they were interrupted by
+     the arrival of "Bonnie Jean," "The Lass of Patie's Mill," "Bessie
+     Bell and Mary Gray," and other "Flowers o' the Forest," who were
+     following that gay deceiver "Robin Adair," himself a verification
+     of the well-known fact that "Though love is warm awhile, soon it
+     grows cold."
+
+     Robin Adair, whose mind, after all, seems to have run chiefly on
+     balls and plays (a visit to Paris having quite spoiled him for the
+     society of "The Braes of Balquither"), had first made love to the
+     unfortunate "Highland Mary," and then gayly and heartlessly quitted
+     her with that useless piece of advice which nobody ever took, "Sigh
+     not for love." Next he paid his devoirs to "Jessie the flower o'
+     Dumblane," as he met her one morning "Comin' thro' the rye." And he
+     had subsequently entered into a flirtation with "Dumbarton's bonny
+     Belle"--a young lady whose literary and scientific achievements had
+     lately procured for her the unique title of "The Blue Bell of
+     Scotland." But it was whispered in the most authentic circles that
+     she had recently frightened him away by asking him that puzzling
+     question "Why does azure deck the sky?"
+
+     Yet, however the follies and inconstancies of Robin Adair might
+     have rendered him a favourite with the ladies (who often tapped him
+     with their fans, saying, "Fly away pretty moth"), he did not seem
+     to be held in equal esteem by his manly compatriots. On his
+     presuming to clap "Young Lochinvar" on the shoulder, and accost him
+     as "Friend of my soul," that high-spirited chieftain immediately
+     proceeded to "Draw the sword o' Scotland," with a view of
+     chastising his familiarity. But "Swift as the flash," Robin eluded
+     the blow, and danced out of the room singing "I'd be a Butterfly."
+
+     At the desire of several of the ladies, I accompanied them to the
+     veranda to look at the prospect of the beautiful surrounding
+     country, and our attention was soon arrested by notes of distant
+     music.
+
+     "What airy sounds!" was our unanimous exclamation; and we almost
+     fancied that they must have proceeded from the "Harp of the winds,"
+     till presently we heard the tramp of horses, and beheld a numerous
+     company descending by its circuitous path the hill that rose in
+     front of the house. As "I saw them on their winding way," I had no
+     difficulty in recognising each individual of the troop.
+
+     Foremost came "The Baron of Mowbray" mounted on his "Arab Steed,"
+     and accompanied by a "Captive Knight" whom he had rescued from a
+     Saracen prison, and I soon discovered that it was "Dunois the young
+     and brave." Dunois was followed by his accomplished but wilful
+     page, "The Minstrel Boy," who, having broken his harp in a fit of
+     spite, was obliged to substitute an inferior instrument, and to
+     strike "The Light Guitar," which he retained as "The Legacy" of a
+     "Gallant Troubadour" who had fallen beside him in battle, and of
+     whose untimely fate he had sent notice to his "Isabelle" by a
+     "Carrier Pigeon."
+
+     Behind the youthful minstrel strode a "Happy Tawny Moor" performing
+     powerfully on "The Tartar Drum."
+
+     "The Young Son of Chivalry" brought with him a beautiful damsel
+     whom he had found in a "Bower of Roses by Bendameer's Stream"--and
+     whose eyes, resembling those of "The Light Gazelle," identified her
+     as "Araby's Daughter." "Rich and rare were the gems she wore;" and
+     she had testified her readiness to "Fly to the Desert" with her
+     bravo Dunois; to glide with him "Thro' icy valleys," in the wilds
+     of Siberia; or to accompany him even across "The sea--the sea--the
+     open sea." No music would have sounded so sweetly in her ear as
+     "The Bridemaid's Chorus," and she would willingly have given all
+     her pearls and diamonds in exchange for "The plain gold ring."
+
+     Next came a gentleman in naval uniform, whom I gladly recognised as
+     my former acquaintance, "The Post Captain;" for the last time "We
+     met--'twas in a crowd"--and I had not an opportunity of saying more
+     than a few words to him. He was not in his usual spirits, having
+     lately been jilted by the beautiful but "Faithless Emma," who knew
+     not how to value "The Manly Heart" that had so long been devoted to
+     her. He was accompanied by a "Smart Young Midshipman," and followed
+     at a respectful distance by some hardy-looking "Tars of Columbia,"
+     who, whether exposed to the storms of "The Bay of Biscay," or
+     sailing before the wind with "A wet sheet and a flowing sea," or
+     engaged in contest with "The Mariners of England," are always ready
+     to venture life and limb in the cause of "America, Commerce, and
+     Freedom."
+
+     After them came a motley group whose homes were to be found in
+     every part of the world, and amongst whom even "The Gipsies' Wild
+     Chant" was heard at intervals. Looking as if he had just issued
+     from "The vale of Ovoca," and wrapping around him a damp overcoat,
+     threadbare wherever it was whole, came an "Exile of Erin," who
+     proved to be the famous serenading robber, "Ned of the Hills." Near
+     him was another outlaw, "Allen-a-Dale," who, being something of an
+     exquisite (notwithstanding his deficiency in ploughland and
+     firewood) looked with hauteur on "The wayworn Traveller." The
+     Hibernian freebooter was not, it is true, as well supported as when
+     "Proudly and wide his standard flew;" having found by recent
+     experience that it is not always safe to go a-robbing with flying
+     colours: but he was not without his followers (what Irishman is?)
+     and he and they returned with interest the contemptuous glances of
+     the English brigand.
+
+     There were representatives of every nation and of every period in
+     which the voice of music has been heard. Some were serious and some
+     were gay--some were dignified, and others very much the
+     contrary--some had always moved in the first circle, and some were
+     in the people's line. I saw a "Bavarian Broom Girl" endeavouring to
+     persuade "Mynheer Van Clam" to waltz with her round the hill: but
+     finding it impossible to induce in him a rotatory motion, and that
+     his steps never could be made to describe a circle, she wisely gave
+     him up for a "Merry Swiss Boy," who whirled round with her to her
+     heart's content, though his sister would not dance, but was
+     perpetually wailing "Oh! take me back to Switzerland." There was
+     also the disdainful "Polly Hopkins" sailing round her ill-used but
+     persevering lover, "Tommy Tompkins." Among others came the foolish
+     "Maid of Lodi," ambling on her poney; the deplorable "Galley
+     Slave;" the moaning "Beggar Girl;" and several others with whose
+     company I could well have dispensed.
+
+     The sound of voices now came from the sea, and we saw several boats
+     approaching the shore--"Faintly as tolls the evening chime," we
+     distinguished the Canadian rowers. Next came the fellow-fishermen
+     of Masaniello chanting their Barcarole; and next we recognised the
+     swiftly-gliding and "Bonnie Boat" of a party of musical Caledonians
+     on their return from a fruitless attempt to wake the "Maid of
+     Lorn." I looked in vain for my sensible and excellent friend, "The
+     Pilot," whom I was afterwards informed by his daughter, "Black-eyed
+     Susan," had gone to the assistance of an endangered vessel, whose
+     "Minute Gun at Sea" he had heard the night before.
+
+     I went down with the other ladies to the portico to receive the
+     company that was every moment arriving, and I found the avenue that
+     led to it already filled. Among the Hibernians, we saw a wandering
+     musician who had "Come o'er the sea" to pursue his profession.
+     However, he succeeded but badly; after several attempts, finding it
+     impossible even to "Remember the glories of Brian the Brave." The
+     truth is, he was confused and disconcerted by discovering, when too
+     late, that the harp he had in haste brought with him, was the
+     identical one which had hung so long on Tara's walls that its soul
+     of music was undoubtedly fled; all the strings being broken. This
+     _contre-tems_ excited the sneers of the English part of his
+     audience, but I besought them to "Blame not the bard," whose
+     countrymen I saw were beginning to kindle in his behalf, and
+     knowing that "Avenging and bright are the swift swords of Erin," I
+     made peace by ordering refreshments to be brought out, and sending
+     round among them the "Crooskeen Lawn."
+
+     Again the sound of distant music floated on the air from "Over the
+     hills and far away." At first, we thought that "The Campbells were
+     coming" (none of that noble and warlike clan having accompanied the
+     numerous "Sons of the Clyde" that had already arrived), and the
+     male part of our company were preparing to "Hurrah for the Bonnets
+     of Blue." But as the sounds approached, they were easily
+     distinguished for the ever-charming and exhilarating notes of "The
+     Hunters' Chorus," that splendid triumph of musical genius. We soon
+     saw the bold yagers of the Hartz forest descending the path that
+     led round the hill, their rifles in their hands, their oak-sprigs
+     in their hats, and looking as much at home as if they were still in
+     their "Father-land."
+
+     I welcomed the whole company, though well aware that among them all
+     there was "Nobody coming to marry me;" and, as "Twilight dews were
+     falling fast," I invited them into the house, which fortunately was
+     large enough to accommodate them. The evening was spent in much
+     hilarity. "Merrily every bosom boundeth," and "Away with
+     melancholy," was the general feeling. A toast was suggested in
+     compliment to their hostess; but unwilling that they should "Drink
+     to me only," I proposed "A health to all good lasses," and it went
+     round with enthusiasm.
+
+     Our festivity met with a little interruption from "The Maid of
+     Marlivale," who, while taking one of her usual moonlight rambles,
+     had been frightened by something that she supposed to be "The Erl
+     King," and she rushed in among us, in a state of terror which we
+     had some difficulty in appeasing.
+
+     After supper, at which "Jim Crow" was chief waiter (till his
+     antics obliged me to dismiss him from the room), music and dancing
+     continued till a late hour. At length "I knew by the smoke" that
+     the lamps were about to expire, and I was not sorry when the party
+     from Scotland broke up the company by taking leave with "Gude
+     night, and joy be wi' you a'"--and in a short time "All the blue
+     bonnets were over the border." I must tell you in confidence, my
+     dear Ombrelina, that "A chieftain to the highlands bound" presented
+     me "The last rose of summer," and was very importunate with me to
+     become the companion of his journey and the lady of his castle; but
+     I had no inclination to intrust my happiness to a stranger, and to
+     bid "My native land, good night."
+
+     Hitherto, whenever, "I've wandered in dreams," it has generally
+     been my unlucky fate to lose all distinct recollection of them
+     before "The morn unbars the gates of light." This once I have been
+     more fortunate. But still, my dear Ombrelina, I think it safest to
+     intrust to your care this slight memorandum of my singular vision.
+     And should you lose it, and I forget it, we have still the
+     consolation that "'Tis but fancy's sketch."
+
+     ARIELLA SHADOW.
+
+"In truth," said Merrill, folding up the letter, after making various
+comments upon it, "on the subject of music, this young lady seems quite
+_au naturel_. I fear for her success in society."
+
+"Then," observed Cavender, "you must exert your influence in inducing
+her to change or suppress her opinion on this topic, and perhaps on some
+others in which she may be equally at variance with _les gens comme il
+faut_."
+
+"My influence?" replied Merrill. "Is it possible that I know the lady?"
+
+"You know her so well," answered Cavender, "that I wonder you are
+unacquainted with her autograph; but I suppose your courtship has been
+altogether verbal."
+
+"Emily Osbrook!" exclaimed Merrill. "Is she, indeed, the author of this
+letter? It is singular enough that I have never yet happened to see her
+handwriting; and once seen, I could not have forgotten it. But I can
+assure you that she has sufficient knowledge of the art to be fully
+capable of appreciating its difficulties and understanding its beauties,
+and of warmly admiring whatever of our fashionable music is really good;
+that is, when the sound is not only a combination of beautiful tones,
+but also an echo to the sense. We have often lamented that so many fine
+composers have deigned to furnish charming airs for common-place or
+nonsensical poetry, and that some of the most exquisite effusions of our
+poets are degraded by an association with tasteless and insipid music.
+But when music that is truly excellent is 'married to immortal verse,'
+and when the words are equal to the air, who does not perceive that the
+hearers listen with two-fold enjoyment?"
+
+"Two-fold!" exclaimed Cavender.--"The pleasure of listening to
+delightful notes, with delightful words, uttered with taste and feeling
+by an accomplished and intellectual singer, is one of the most perfect
+that can fall to the lot of beings who are unable to hear the music of
+the spheres and the songs of Paradise."
+
+
+
+
+SOCIABLE VISITING.
+
+     "Shadows, clouds, and darkness rest upon it."--ADDISON.
+
+
+After a residence of several years at their country-house in the
+vicinity of Philadelphia, circumstances induced Mr. Heathcote to
+establish himself again in the city. This removal gave great
+satisfaction to his family, particularly to his wife and to his two
+elder children, Harriet and Albert, as they all had very good reasons
+for preferring a decided town-life to the numerous conveniences of
+ruralizing at a villa both in winter and summer. They were called on in
+due time by all their former city friends; most of whom, indeed, had
+sedulously kept up their acquaintance with the Heathcote family by
+frequent visits to them during their long sojourn in the country.
+
+By all these friends, the Heathcotes were invited to tea in form,
+sometimes to large parties, sometimes to small parties, and sometimes to
+meet only the family circle. And Mrs. Heathcote had made a return for
+these civilities by giving an evening party, which included the whole
+range of her friends and acquaintances, while her husband got rid of his
+similar obligations by a series of dinners.
+
+These duties being over, and the family settled quietly down into
+every-day life, the invitations for particular times became less
+frequent; gradually subsiding into pressing entreaties from their
+friends to waive all formality, and to come sociably and take tea with
+them whenever they felt an inclination, without waiting for the ceremony
+of being regularly asked. These intimations were at once declined by
+Mrs. Heathcote, who declared herself "no visitor," her large family (for
+she had eight children) giving her always sufficient occupation at
+home. Such excuses, however, were not admitted from Harriet, who was
+handsome, lively, and intelligent, and much liked by all who knew her.
+She was fond of society, and had no objection to visiting in all its
+branches. Her days were generally passed in constant and rational
+employment, and though her evenings were pleasant enough at home, still
+she liked variety, and thought it would be very agreeable to visit her
+friends occasionally on the terms proposed; and she anticipated much
+quiet enjoyment at these extemporaneous tea-drinkings. We must premise
+that the sociable visits performed by our heroine did not, in reality,
+all follow each other consecutively, though, for the sake of brevity, it
+is expedient for us to relate them in that manner. Between some of them
+were long intervals, during which she, of course, received occasional
+invitations in regular form; and a due proportion of her evenings was
+spent in places of public amusement. Our present design is merely to
+give a sketch of the events which ensued when Harriet Heathcote, taking
+her friends at their word, availed herself of their earnest entreaties
+to visit them _sociably_: that is, without being either invited or
+expected.
+
+In compliance with the oft-repeated request of her old acquaintances,
+the two Miss Drakelows, to spend a long afternoon with them, coming
+early and bringing her sewing, our heroine set out on this visit at four
+o'clock, taking her work-basket in her hand. The Miss Drakelows, indeed,
+had urged her to come immediately after dinner, that they might have the
+longer enjoyment of her company; and Harriet, for her part, liked them
+so well (for they were very agreeable girls), that she had no
+apprehension of finding the visit tedious.
+
+On arriving at the house, the servant who opened the door informed her
+that both the young ladies were out. Harriet, much disappointed, was
+turning to go home again, when their mother, old Mrs. Drakelow, appeared
+at the door of the front parlour, and hastening forward, seized her by
+both hands, and insisted on her coming in, saying that Ellen and Fanny
+had only gone out shopping with Mrs. Eastwood (their married sister),
+and that she was in momentary expectation of their return. Harriet found
+it so difficult to resist the entreaties of the old lady, who was always
+delighted to see visiters, that she yielded and accompanied her into the
+parlour.
+
+"Well, my dear Miss Harriet," said Mrs. Drakelow, "I am really very glad
+that you have come, at last, just as we wished you, without any
+ceremony. I always think a visit the more agreeable for being
+unexpected. Do take off your cloak. My daughters will be at home in a
+few minutes, and I dare say they will bring Mrs. Eastwood with them, and
+then we will make her stay to tea. We shall have a charming evening."
+
+Miss Heathcote took out her work, and Mrs. Drakelow resumed her
+knitting, and endeavoured to entertain her guest by enumerating those
+among her own acquaintances that persisted in using knitting-sheaths,
+and those that could knit just as well without them by holding the
+needles in a different manner. She also discussed the relative merits of
+ribbed welts and rolled welts, and gave due honour to certain
+expeditious ladies that could knit a pair of large stockings in three
+days; and higher glory still to several that had been known to perform
+that exploit in _two_ days.
+
+In truth, the old lady was one of those dull wearisome people, that are
+only tolerated because they are good and respectable. She had no
+reading; no observation, except of trifles not worth observing; no
+memory, but of things not worth remembering, and her ideas, which were
+very limited in number, had all her life flowed in the same channel.
+Still, Mrs. Drakelow thought herself a very sensible woman, and believed
+that her conversation could not be otherwise than agreeable; and
+therefore, whenever she had an opportunity, she talked almost
+incessantly. It is true, that when her daughters were present, she was
+content to be comparatively silent, as she regarded them with great
+deference, and listened to them always with habitual admiration.
+
+Evening came, and the young ladies did not return; though Mrs. Drakelow
+was still expecting them every moment. Finally, she concluded that Mrs.
+Eastwood had prevailed on them to go home and take tea with her. "So
+much the better for me," said Mrs. Drakelow, "for now, my dear Miss
+Harriet, I shall have you all to myself." She then ordered tea to be
+brought immediately, and Harriet saw nothing in prospect but a long,
+tedious evening with the prosing old lady; and she knew that it would be
+at least nine o'clock, or perhaps ten, before her brother came to see
+her home.
+
+The evening, as she anticipated, was indeed tedious. Mrs. Drakelow took
+upon herself "the whole expense of the conversation," talked of cheap
+shops and dear shops, and specified the prices that had been given for
+almost every article of dress that had been purchased by her daughters
+or herself during the last year. She told a long story of a piece of
+linen which her friend Mrs. Willett had bought for her husband, and
+which went to pieces before it was made up, splitting down in streaks
+during the process of stroking the gathers. She told the rent that was
+given by all her acquaintances that lived in rented houses, and the
+precise price paid by those that had purchased their dwellings. She
+described minutely the particulars of several long illnesses that had
+taken place among her relations and friends; and the exact number of
+persons that attended their funerals when they died, as on those
+occasions she said she made it a rule always to count the company. She
+mentioned several circumstances which proved to demonstration, that the
+weather was usually cold in winter and warm in summer; and she gave a
+circumstantial history of her four last cats, with suitable episodes of
+rats and mice.
+
+The old lady's garrulity was so incessant, her tone so monotonous, and
+her narratives so totally devoid of either point or interest, that Miss
+Heathcote caught herself several times on the verge of falling asleep.
+She frequently stole anxious glances at the time-piece, and when it was
+nine o'clock she roused herself by the excitement of hoping every moment
+for the arrival of Albert.
+
+At length she heard the agreeable sound of the door-bell, but it was
+only a shoemaker's boy that had brought home a pair of new shoes for
+Mrs. Drakelow, who tried them on, and talked about them for half an
+hour, telling various stories of tight shoes and loose shoes, long shoes
+and short shoes. Finally, Albert Heathcote made his welcome appearance,
+and Harriet joyfully prepared for her departure; though the old lady
+entreated her "to sit awhile longer, and not to take away her brother so
+soon."
+
+"You cannot imagine," said Mrs. Drakelow, "how disappointed the girls
+will feel, at happening to be from home on this afternoon above all
+others. If they had had the most distant idea of a visit from you
+to-day, they would, I am sure, have either deferred their shopping, or
+made it as short as possible. But do not be discouraged, my dear Miss
+Harriet," continued the good old lady, "I hope you will very soon favour
+us with another sociable visit. I really do not know when I have passed
+so pleasant an evening. It has seemed to me not more than half an hour
+since tea."
+
+About a fortnight afterwards, Miss Heathcote went to take tea, sociably,
+with her friend Mrs. Rushbrook, who had been married about eighteen
+months, and whom she had known intimately for many years. This time, she
+went quite late, and was glad to be informed that Mrs. Rushbrook was at
+home. She was shown into the parlour, where she waited till long after
+the lamp was lighted, in momentary expectation of the appearance of her
+friend, who had sent down word that she would be with her in a few
+minutes. Occasionally, whenever the nursery door was opened, Harriet
+heard violent screams of the baby.
+
+At length Mrs. Rushbrook came down, apologized to Miss Heathcote for
+making her wait, and said that poor little George was very unwell, and
+had been fretful and feverish all day; and that he had just been got to
+sleep with much difficulty, having cried incessantly for more than an
+hour. Harriet now regretted having chosen this day for her visit (the
+baby being so much indisposed), and she offered to conclude it
+immediately, only requesting that the servant-man might see her home, as
+it had long been quite dark. But Mrs. Rushbrook would not listen to
+Harriet's proposal of going away so soon, and insisted on her staying to
+tea as she had intended; saying that she had no doubt the baby would be
+much better when he awoke. At her pressing instances, Miss Heathcote
+concluded to remain. In a short time Mr. Rushbrook came home, and his
+wife detailed to him all the particulars of the baby's illness. Harriet,
+who was accustomed to children, saw that in all probability the
+complaint would be attended with no serious consequences. But young
+married people are very naturally prone to take alarm at the slightest
+ailment of their first child: a feeling which no one should censure,
+however far it may be carried, as it originates in the best affections
+of the human heart.
+
+Though Mr. and Mrs. Rushbrook tried to entertain their visitor, and to
+listen to her when she talked, Harriet could not but perceive that their
+minds were all the time with the infant up-stairs; and they frequently
+called each other out of the room to consult about him.
+
+After tea, the baby awoke and renewed its screams, and Mr. Rushbrook
+determined to go himself for the doctor, who had already been brought
+thither three times that day. Finding that it was a physician who lived
+in her immediate neighbourhood, Harriet wisely concluded to shorten her
+unlucky visit by availing herself of Mr. Rushbrook's protection to her
+own door. Mrs. Rushbrook took leave of our heroine with much civility,
+but with very evident satisfaction, and said to her at parting, "To
+tell you the truth, my dear Harriet, if I had known that you designed me
+the pleasure of a visit this evening, I would have candidly requested
+you to defer it till another time, as poor little George has been unwell
+since early in the morning."
+
+Harriet's next sociable visit was to the two Miss Brandons, who had
+always appeared to her as very charming girls, and remarkable for their
+affectionate manner towards each other. Being left in affluent
+circumstances at the decease of their father (the mother died while they
+were children), Letitia and Charlotte Brandon lived together in a very
+genteel establishment, under the protection of an unmarried brother, who
+was just now absent on business in the West. Harriet had always imagined
+them in possession of an unusual portion of happiness, for they were
+young, handsome, rich, at their own disposal, with no one to control
+them, and, as she supposed, nothing to trouble them. She did not know,
+or rather she did not believe (for she had heard some whispers of the
+fact), that in reality the Miss Brandons lived half their time at open
+war; both having tempers that were very irritable, and also very
+implacable, for it is not true that the more easily anger is excited,
+the sooner it subsides. It so happened, however, that Miss Heathcote had
+only seen these young ladies during their occasional fits of
+good-humour, when they were at peace with each other, and with all the
+world; and at such times no women could possibly be more amiable.
+
+On the morning before Harriet Heathcote's visit, a violent quarrel had
+taken place between the two sisters, and therefore they were not on
+speaking terms, nor likely to be so in less than a fortnight; that being
+the period they generally required to smooth down their angry passions,
+before they could find it in their hearts to resume the usual routine of
+even common civility. There was this difference in the two ladies:
+Charlotte was the most passionate, Letitia the most rancorous.
+
+When Harriet arrived, she found the Miss Brandons alone in the back
+parlour, sitting at opposite sides of the fire, with each a book.
+Charlotte, who was just the age of Harriet, looked pleased at the sight
+of a visiter, whose company she thought would be preferable to the
+alternative of passing the evening with her sister in utter silence; and
+she had some faint hope that the presence of Miss Heathcote might
+perhaps induce Letitia to make some little exertion to conceal her
+ill-humour. And therefore Charlotte expressed great pleasure when she
+found that Harriet had come to spend the evening with them. But Letitia,
+after a very cold salutation, immediately rose and left the room, with
+an air that showed plainly she did not intend to consider Miss Heathcote
+as in part her visiter, but exclusively as her sister Charlotte's.
+
+Charlotte followed Letitia with her eyes, and looked very angry, but
+after a few moments, she smothered her resentment so far as to attempt a
+sort of apology, saying, "she believed her sister had the headache." She
+then commenced a conversation with Harriet, who endeavoured to keep it
+up with her usual vivacity; but was disconcerted to find that Charlotte
+was too uncomfortable, and her mind evidently too much abstracted,
+either to listen attentively, or to take the least interest in anything
+she said.
+
+In a short time the table was set, and Charlotte desired the servant to
+go up-stairs and ask Miss Letitia if she was coming down to tea, or if
+she should send her some. The man departed, and was gone a long while.
+When he returned--"Is Miss Letitia coming down to tea?" asked Charlotte
+anxiously; "Miss Letitia don't say," replied the man. Charlotte bit her
+lip in vexation, and then with something that resembled a sigh, invited
+Harriet to take her seat at the table, and began to pour out. When tea
+was about half over, Letitia made her appearance, walking with great
+dignity, and looking very cross. She sat down in silence, opposite to
+Harriet. "Sister," said Charlotte, in a voice of half-suppressed anger,
+"shall I give you black tea or green? you know you sometimes take one
+and sometimes the other." "I'll help myself," replied Letitia, in a
+voice of chilling coldness. And taking up one of the tea-pots she
+proceeded to do so. As soon as she put the cup to her lips, she set it
+down again with apparent disgust, saying--"This tea is not fit to
+drink." Charlotte, making a visible effort to restrain herself, placed
+the other tea-pot within her sister's reach; Letitia poured out a few
+drops by way of trial, tasted it, then pushed it away with still greater
+disgust than before, and threw herself back in her chair, casting a look
+of indignation at Charlotte, and murmuring,--"'Tis always so when I do
+not preside at the tea-table myself."
+
+Charlotte sat swelling with anger, afraid to trust herself to speak,
+while Harriet, affecting not to notice what was passing, made an attempt
+to talk on some indifferent subject, and addressed to Letitia a few
+words which she did not answer, and handed her some waffles which she
+would not take. Never had Harriet been present at so uncomfortable a
+repast, and heartily did she wish herself at home, regretting much that
+she had happened to pay a visit during this state of hostilities.
+
+After the failure of both sorts of tea, Letitia sat in silent
+indignation till the table was cleared, leaning back in her chair,
+eating nothing, but crumbling a piece of bread to atoms, and
+pertinaciously averting her head both from Charlotte and Harriet.
+
+When tea was over, Harriet hoped that Letitia would retire to her own
+room, but on the contrary the lady was perversely bent on staying in the
+parlour. Charlotte and Harriet placed themselves at the sofa-table with
+their sewing, and Letitia desired the servant-man to bring her one of
+the new table-cloths that had been sent home that morning. Then making
+him light a lamp that stood in the corner of the mantel-piece, she
+seated herself under it on a low chair, and commenced silently and
+sedulously the task of ravelling or fringing the ends of the
+table-cloth, while Charlotte looked at her from time to time with
+ill-suppressed resentment. Now and then, Harriet, in the hope of
+conciliating Letitia into something like common civility, addressed a
+few words to her in as pleasant a manner as possible, but Letitia
+replied only by a cold monosyllable, and finally made no answer at all.
+Charlotte was too angry at her sister to be able to sustain anything
+that could be called a conversation with Miss Heathcote, and Harriet,
+rather than say nothing, began to describe a very entertaining new novel
+that had lately appeared, relating with great vivacity some of its most
+amusing scenes. But she soon found that Charlotte was too much out of
+humour with her sister to be able to give much attention to the
+narrative, and that her replies and comments were _distrait_ and
+_mal-a-propos_.
+
+Letitia sat coldly fringing the table-cloth, and showing no sort of
+emotion, except that she threw the ravellings into the fire with rather
+more energy than was necessary, and occasionally jogged the foot that
+rested on a cushion before her; and she resolutely refused to partake of
+the refreshments that were brought in after tea.
+
+Miss Heathcote sat in momentary dread of an explosion, as she saw that
+the angry glances of Charlotte towards the lady fringing the
+table-cloth, were becoming more frequent and more vivid, that her colour
+was heightening, and the tremor of her voice increasing. Our heroine was
+heartily glad of the arrival of her brother about nine o'clock, an hour
+earlier than she expected him. He explained, in a few words, that being
+desirous of returning to the theatre to see a favourite after-piece, he
+had thought it best to come for his sister as soon as the play was over,
+rather than keep her waiting for him till near eleven, before which time
+it was not probable that the whole entertainment would be finished.
+Charlotte, who was evidently impatient for an outbreak, saw Miss
+Heathcote depart with visible satisfaction, and Letitia merely bowed her
+head to the adieu of our heroine, who, vexed at herself for having
+volunteered her visit on this ill-omened day, felt it a relief to quit
+the presence of these unamiable sisters, and "leave them alone in their
+glory."
+
+The black girl that had brought down her hood and cloak, ran forward to
+open the street door, and said in a low voice to Harriet, "I suppose,
+miss, you did not know before you came, that our ladies had a high
+quarrel this morning, and are affronted, and don't speak. But I dare say
+they will come to, in the course of a few weeks, and then I hope you'll
+pay us another visit, for company's _scace_."
+
+When Harriet equipped herself to pass a _sociable_ evening with the
+Urlingford family, who were among the most agreeable of her friends, she
+could not possibly anticipate any _contre-tems_ that would mar the
+pleasure of the visit. She arrived about dusk, and was somewhat
+surprised to find the whole family already at their tea. Mrs. Urlingford
+and the young ladies received her very cordially, but looked a little
+disconcerted, and Harriet apologized for interrupting them at table, by
+saying, that she thought their tea-hour was not till seven o'clock.
+
+Mrs. Urlingford replied, that seven o'clock _was_ their usual hour for
+tea, but on that evening they had it much earlier than usual, that it
+might be over before the arrival of some of their musical friends, who
+were coming to practise with her daughters.
+
+"Really, my dear Harriet," pursued Mrs. Urlingford, "I am rejoiced that
+you happened to fix on this evening for favouring us with an
+unceremonious visit. Though I know that you always decline playing and
+singing in company, and that you persist in saying you have very little
+knowledge of music, yet I think too highly of your taste and feeling not
+to be convinced of your fondness for that delightful art, and I am
+certain you will be much gratified by what you will hear to-night,
+though this is only a private practising; indeed a mere rehearsal. Next
+week we will have a general music-party, the first of a series which we
+have arranged to take place at intervals of a fortnight, and to which we
+intend ourselves the pleasure of sending invitations to you and all our
+other friends. This, of to-night, is, I repeat, nothing more than a
+rehearsal, and we expect only a few professional musicians, whose
+assistance we have secured for our regular musical soirees. I am very
+glad, indeed, my dear Harriet, that you chance to be with us this
+evening. As I said, we have tea earlier than usual, that the music may
+begin the sooner, and at ten o'clock we will have coffee and other
+refreshments handed round."
+
+By this time, the table was newly set, fresh tea was made, and some
+additional nice things were produced. Harriet, who was very sorry for
+having caused any unnecessary trouble, sat down to her tea, which she
+despatched in all possible haste, as she knew that Mrs. Urlingford must
+be impatient to have the table cleared away, previous to the arrival of
+the musicians, who were now momentarily expected. Just as Harriet was
+finishing, there came in a German that played on the violon-cello, and
+was always very early. On being asked if he had taken tea, he replied in
+the affirmative, but that he would have no objection to a little more.
+Accordingly he sat down and made a long and hearty meal, to the evident
+annoyance of the family, and still more to that of Harriet Heathcote,
+who knew that the table would long since have been removed, had it not
+been detained on her account. There was nothing now to be done, but to
+close the folding-doors, and shut in the German till he had completed
+his repast, as others of the company were fast arriving. And though
+Harriet had been told that this was merely a private practising, she
+soon found herself in the midst of something that very much resembled a
+large party; so many persons having been invited exclusive of the
+regular performers. She understood, however, that nobody had been asked
+to this rehearsal, who had not a decided taste for music.
+
+Our heroine, for her part, had no extraordinary talent for that
+difficult and elegant accomplishment; and, after taking lessons for
+about a year, it was considered best that she should give it up, as her
+voice was of no great compass, and there was little probability of her
+reaching any proficiency, as an instrumental musician, that would
+compensate for an undue expense of time, money, and application.
+Therefore, Harriet had never advanced beyond simple ballads, which she
+played and sang agreeably and correctly enough, but which she only
+attempted when her audience consisted exclusively of her own family; and
+none of her brothers and sisters had as yet shown any taste for that
+sort of music which is commonly called scientific.
+
+The Urlingfords, on the contrary, could all sing and play; the girls on
+the harp, piano, and guitar; and the boys on the flute, and violin. They
+all had voices of great power, and sung nothing but Italian.
+
+The evening was passed in the performance of pieces that exhibited much
+science, and much difficulty of execution: such pieces, in short, as Dr.
+Johnson wished were "impossible." Being totally at variance with the
+simplicity of Harriet's taste, she found them very uninteresting, and
+inconceivably fatiguing, and after a while she had great difficulty in
+keeping herself awake. Of course, not a word was uttered during the
+performance, and the concertos, potpourris, arias, and cavatinas
+succeeded each other so rapidly that there was no interval in which to
+snatch a few moments of conversation. It is true the purport of the
+meeting was music, and music alone.
+
+Miss Heathcote almost envied a young lady, who, having learnt all her
+music in Europe, had come home with an enthusiasm for feats of voice and
+finger, that on all these occasions transported her into the third
+heaven. She sat with her neck stretched forward, and her hands
+out-spread, her lips half open, her eyes sometimes raised as in ecstasy,
+and sometimes closed in overpowering bliss. But Harriet's envy of such
+exquisite sensations was a little checked, when she observed Miss Denham
+stealing a sly glance all round, to see who was looking at her, and
+admiring her enthusiasm. And then Harriet could not help thinking how
+very painful it must be (when only done for effect) to keep up such an
+air and attitude of admiration during a whole long evening.
+
+Our heroine was also much entertained in the early part of the
+performance, particularly during a grand concerto, by observing the
+musician who officiated as leader, and was a foreigner of great skill in
+his profession. In him there was certainly no affectation. To have the
+piece performed in the most perfect manner, was "the settled purpose of
+his soul." All the energies of his mind and body were absorbed in this
+one object, and he seemed as if the whole happiness of his future life,
+nay, his existence itself, depended on its success. The piece was
+proceeding in its full tide of glory, and the leader was waving his bow
+with more pride and satisfaction than a monarch ever felt in wielding
+his sceptre, or a triumphant warrior in brandishing his sword. Suddenly
+he gave "a look of horror and a sudden start," and turning instantly
+round, his eyes glared fiercely over the whole circle of performers in
+search of the culprit who had been guilty of a false note; an error
+which would scarcely have been noticed by any of the company, had it not
+been made so conspicuous by the shock it had given to the chief
+musician. The criminal, however, was only discovered by his
+injudiciously "hiding his diminished head." Better for him to have been
+"a fine, gay, bold-faced villain."
+
+Harriet could not help remarking that though the company all applauded
+every song that was sung, and every piece that was played, and that at
+the conclusion of each, the words "charming," "exquisite," "divine,"
+were murmured round the room, still almost every one looked tired, many
+were evidently suppressing their inclination to yawn--some took
+opportunities of looking privately at their watches; and Mr. Urlingford
+and another old gentleman slept a duet together in a corner. The
+entrance of the coffee, &c., produced a wonderful revival, and restored
+animation to eyes that seemed ready to close in slumber. The company all
+started from the listless postures into which they had unconsciously
+thrown themselves, and every one sat up straight. As soon as she had
+drunk a cup of the refreshing beverage, Miss Heathcote was glad to avail
+herself of her brother's arrival and take her leave; Mrs. Urlingford,
+congratulating her again on having been so fortunate as to drop in
+exactly on that evening, and telling her that she should certainly
+expect her at all her musical parties throughout the season.
+
+And Harriet might perhaps have gone to the first one, had she not been
+so unluckily present at the rehearsal.
+
+On the next uninvited visit of our heroine, she found her friends, the
+three Miss Celbridges, sitting in the parlour with their mother, by no
+other light than that of the fire, and all looking extremely dejected.
+On inquiring if they were well, they answered in the affirmative. Her
+next question was to ask when they had heard from Baltimore, in which
+place some of their nearest relations were settled. The reply was, that
+they had received letters that morning, and that their friends were in
+good health. "Well, girls," said Harriet, gayly, "you see I have taken
+you at your word, and have come to pass the evening with you _sans
+ceremonie_."
+
+The Miss Celbridges exchanged looks with their mother, who cast down her
+eyes and said nothing; and one of the young ladies silently assisted
+Harriet in taking off her walking habiliments. There was an air of
+general constraint, and our heroine began to fear that her visit was not
+quite acceptable. "Is it possible," thought she, "that I could
+unconsciously have given any offence at our last meeting?" But she
+recollected immediately, that the Miss Celbridges had then taken leave
+of her with the most unequivocal evidences of cordiality, and had
+earnestly insisted on her coming to drink tea with them, as often as she
+felt a desire, assuring her that they should always be delighted to see
+her "in a sociable way."
+
+The young ladies made an effort at conversation, but it was visibly an
+effort. The minds of the Miss Celbridges were all palpably engrossed
+with something quite foreign to the topic of discussion, and Harriet was
+too much surprised, and too much embarrassed to talk with her usual
+fluency.
+
+At length Mr. Celbridge entered the room, and after slightly saluting
+Miss Heathcote, asked why the lamp was not lighted. It was done--and
+Harriet then perceived by the redness of their eyes, that the mother and
+daughters had all been in tears. Mr. Celbridge looked also very
+melancholy, and seating himself beside his wife, he entered into a low
+and earnest conversation with her. Mrs. Celbridge held her handkerchief
+to her face, and Harriet could no longer refrain from inquiring if the
+family had been visited by any unexpected misfortune. There was a pause,
+during which the daughters evidently struggled to command their
+feelings, and Mr. Celbridge, after a few moments' hesitation, replied in
+a tremulous voice: "Perhaps, Miss Heathcote, you know not that to-day I
+have become a bankrupt; that the unexpected failure of a house for which
+I had endorsed to a large amount, has deprived me of the earnings of
+twenty years, and reduced me to indigence."
+
+Harriet was much shocked, and expressed her entire ignorance of the
+fact. "We supposed," said Mrs. Celbridge, "that it must have been known
+universally--and such reports always spread with too much rapidity."
+"Surely," replied Harriet, taking the hand of Mrs. Celbridge, "you
+cannot seriously believe that it was known to _me_. The slightest
+intimation of this unfortunate event, would certainly have deterred me
+from interrupting you with my presence at a time when the company of a
+visitor must be so painfully irksome to the whole family."
+
+She then rose, and said that if Mr. Celbridge would have the kindness to
+accompany her to her own door, she would immediately go home. "I will
+not dissemble, my dear Miss Heathcote," replied Mrs. Celbridge, "and
+urge you to remain, when it must be evident to you that none of us are
+in a state to make your visit agreeable to you, or indeed to derive
+pleasure from it ourselves. After the first shock is over, we shall be
+able, I hope, to look on our reverse of fortune with something like
+composure. And when we are settled in the humble habitation to which we
+must soon remove, we shall be glad indeed to have our evenings
+occasionally enlivened by the society of one whom we have always been so
+happy to class among our friends."
+
+Mr. Celbridge escorted Harriet to her own residence, which was only at a
+short distance. She there found that her brother, having just heard of
+the failure, and knowing that she intended spending the evening at Mr.
+Celbridge's, had sent her from his office a note to prevent her going,
+but it had not arrived till after her departure.
+
+Among Miss Heathcote's acquaintances was Mrs. Accleton, a very young
+lady recently married, who on receiving her bridal-visits, had given out
+that she intended to live economically, and not to indulge in any
+unnecessary expense. She emphatically proclaimed her resolution never to
+give a party; but she did not even insinuate that she would never go to
+a party herself. She also declared that it did not comport with her
+plans (young girls when just married are apt to talk much of their
+plans) to have any regularly invited company; but that it would always
+afford her the greatest possible pleasure to see her friends _sociably_,
+if they would come and take tea with her, whenever it was convenient to
+themselves, and without waiting for her to appoint any particular time.
+"My husband and I," said Mrs. Accleton, "intend spending all our
+evenings at home, so there is no risk of ever finding us out. We are too
+happy in each other to seek for amusement abroad; and we find by
+experience that nothing the world can offer is equal to our own domestic
+felicity, varied occasionally by the delightful surprise of an
+unceremonious visit from an intimate friend."
+
+It was not till after the most urgent entreaties, often reiterated, that
+Harriet Heathcote undertook one of these visits to Mrs. Accleton. After
+ringing at the street-door till her patience was nearly exhausted, it
+was opened by a sulky-looking white girl, who performed the office of
+porteress with a very ill grace, hiding herself behind it because she
+was not in full dress; and to Harriet's inquiry if Mrs. Accleton was at
+home, murmuring in a most repulsive tone that "she believed she was."
+
+Our heroine was kept waiting a considerable time in a cold and
+comfortless, though richly-furnished parlour, where the splendid
+coal-grate exhibited no evidences of fire, but a mass of cinders
+blackening at the bottom. At length Mrs. Accleton made her appearance,
+fresh from the toilet, and apologized by saying, that expecting no one
+that afternoon, she had ever since dinner been sitting up stairs in her
+wrapper. "About twelve o'clock," said she, "I always, when the weather
+is fine, dress myself and have the front-parlour fire made up, in case
+of morning-visiters. But after dinner, I usually put on a wrapper, and
+establish myself in the dining-room for the remainder of the day. My
+husband and I have got into the habit of spending all our evenings
+there. It is a charmingly comfortable little room, and we think it
+scarcely worth while to keep up the parlour-fire just for our two
+selves. However, I will have it replenished immediately. Excuse me for
+one moment." She then left the room, and shortly returning, resumed her
+discourse.
+
+"I determined," said she, "from the hour I first thought of
+housekeeping, that it should be my plan to have none but white servants.
+They are less wasteful than the blacks; less extravagant in their
+cooking; are satisfied to sit by smaller fires; and have fewer visiters.
+The chief difficulty with them is, that there are so many things they
+are unwilling to do. Yesterday my cook left me quite suddenly, and
+to-day a little girl about fourteen, whom I hired last week as a waiter,
+was taken away by her mother; and I have just now been trying to
+persuade Sally, the chambermaid, to bring in the coal-scuttle and make
+up the fire. But she has a great objection to doing anything in presence
+of strangers, and I am rather afraid she will not come. And I do not
+much wonder at it, for Sally is a girl of a very respectable family. She
+has nothing of the servant about her."
+
+"So much the worse," thought Harriet, "if she is obliged to get her
+living in that capacity."
+
+After a long uncomfortable pause, during which there were no signs of
+Sally, Mrs. Accleton involuntarily put her hand to the bell, but
+recollecting herself, withdrew it again without pressing the spring.
+"There would be no use," said she, "in ringing the bell, for Sally never
+takes the least notice of it. She is principled against it, and says she
+will not be rung about the house like a negro. I have to indulge her in
+this laudable feeling of self-respect, for in everything that is
+essential she is a most valuable girl, and irons my dresses beautifully,
+and does up my collars and pelerines to admiration."
+
+So saying, Mrs. Accleton again left the parlour to have another
+expostulation with Sally, who finally vouchsafed to bring in the
+coal-scuttle, and flinging a few fresh coals on the top of the dying
+embers (from which all power of ignition had too visibly fled), put up
+the blower, and hurried out of the room. But the blower awakened no
+flame, and not a sound was heard to issue from behind its blank and
+dreary expanse. "I am afraid the fire is too far gone to be revived
+without a regular clearing out of the grate," said Mrs. Accleton, "and I
+doubt the possibility of prevailing on Sally to go through all that.
+Anthracite has certainly its disadvantages. Perhaps we had better
+adjourn to the dining-room, where there has been a good fire the whole
+day. If I had only known that you intended me the pleasure of this
+visit! However, I have no doubt you will find it very comfortable up
+stairs."
+
+To the dining-room they accordingly went. It was a little narrow
+apartment over the kitchen, with a low ceiling and small windows looking
+out on the dead wall of the next house, and furnished in the plainest
+and most economical manner. There was a little soap-stone grate that
+held about three quarts of coal, which, however, _was_ burning; a small
+round table that answered for every purpose; half a dozen
+wooden-bottomed cane-coloured chairs; and a small settee to match,
+covered with a calico cushion, and calculated to hold but two people.
+"This is just the size for my husband and myself," said Mrs. Accleton,
+as she placed herself on the settee. "We had it made on purpose. Will
+you take a seat on it, Miss Harriet, or would you prefer a chair? I
+expect Mr. Accleton home in a few minutes." Harriet preferred a chair.
+
+The conversation now turned on housekeeping, and the _nouvelle mariee_
+gave a circumstantial detail of her various plans, and expressed some
+surprise that, notwithstanding the excellence of her system, she found
+so much difficulty in getting servants to fall into it. "I have the most
+trouble with my cooks," pursued Mrs. Accleton. "I have had six
+different women in that capacity, though I have only been married two
+months. And I am sure Mr. Accleton and myself are by no means hard to
+please. We live in the plainest way possible, and a very little is
+sufficient for our table. Our meat is simply boiled or roasted, and
+often we have nothing more than a beefsteak. We never have any sort of
+dessert, considering all such things as extremely unwholesome." "What is
+the reason," thought Harriet, "that so many young ladies, when they are
+first married, discover immediately that desserts are unwholesome;
+particularly if prepared and eaten in their own houses?"
+
+Mrs. Accleton made frequent trips back and forward to the kitchen, and
+Harriet understood that tea was in agitation. Finally, Sally, looking
+very much out of humour, came and asked for the keys; and unlocking a
+dwarf side-board that stood in one of the recesses, she got out the
+common tea-equipage and placed it on the table. "You see, Miss Harriet,
+we treat you quite _en famille_," said Mrs. Accleton. "We make no
+stranger of you. After tea, the parlour will doubtless be warm, and we
+will go down thither." Harriet wondered if the anthracite was expected
+to repent of its obstinacy, and take to burning of its own accord.
+
+Mr. Accleton now came home, and his wife, after running to kiss him,
+exclaimed: "Oh! my dear, I am glad you are come! You can now entertain
+Miss Heathcote while I go down and pay some attention to the tea, for
+Sally protests that she was not hired to cook, and, if the truth must be
+told, she is very busy ironing, and does not like to be taken off. This
+is our regular ironing-day, and one of my rules is never, on any
+consideration, to have it put off or passed over. Method is the soul of
+housekeeping."
+
+Mr. Accleton was naturally taciturn, but he made a prodigious effort to
+entertain Harriet, and talked to her of the tariff.
+
+It was near eight o'clock before Sally condescended to bring up the tea
+and its accompaniments, which were a plate containing four slices of the
+thinnest possible bread and butter, another with two slices of pale
+toast, and a third with two shapeless whitish cakes, of what composition
+it was difficult to tell, but similar to those that are called
+flap-jacks in Boston, slap-jacks in New York, and buckwheat cakes in
+Philadelphia.[84] In the centre was a deep dish with a dozen small
+stewed oysters floating in an ocean of liquor, as tasteless and insipid
+as dish-water. The tea also was tasteless, and for two reasons--first,
+that the Chinese herb had been apportioned in a very small quantity; and
+secondly, that the kettle had not "come to a boil."
+
+[Footnote 84: Query? Which epithet is the most elegant, flap or slap? We
+rather think "the flaps have it."]
+
+"We give you tea in a very plain style," said Mrs. Accleton to Harriet;
+"you see we make no stranger of you, and that we treat you just as we do
+ourselves. We know that simple food is always the most wholesome, and
+when our friends are so kind as to visit us, we have no desire to make
+them sick by covering our table with dainties. It is one of my rules
+never to have a sweetcake or sweetmeat in the house. They are not only a
+foolish expense, but decidedly prejudicial to health."
+
+The hot cakes being soon despatched, there was considerable waiting for
+another supply. Mr. and Mrs. Accleton were at somewhat of a nonplus as
+to the most feasible means of procuring the attendance of Sally.
+"Perhaps she will come if we knock on the floor," said Mrs. Accleton;
+"she _has_ done so sometimes." Mr. Accleton stamped on the floor, but
+Sally came not. Harriet could not imagine why Sally's pride should be
+less hurt by coming to a knock on the floor than to a ring of the bell;
+but there is no accounting for tastes. Mr. Accleton stamped again, and
+much more loudly than before. "Now you have spoiled all," said his wife,
+fretfully; "Sally will never come now. She will be justly offended at
+your stamping for her in that violent way. I much question if we see her
+face again to-night."
+
+At last, after much canvassing, it was decided that Mr. Accleton should
+go to the head of the stairs and venture to call Sally; his wife
+enjoining him not to call too loudly, and to let his tone and manner be
+as mild as possible. This delicate business was successfully
+accomplished. Sally at last appeared with two more hot cakes, and Mrs.
+Accleton respectfully intimated to her that she wished her to return in
+a few minutes to clear away the table.
+
+Mr. Accleton, who was a meek man, being sent down by his wife to
+reconnoitre the parlour fire, came back and reported that it was "dead
+out." "How very unlucky," said Mrs. Accleton, "that Miss Heathcote
+should happen to come just on this evening! Unlucky for herself, I mean,
+for we must always be delighted to see her. However, I am so fond of
+this snug little room, that for my own part I have no desire ever to sit
+in any other. My husband and I have passed so many pleasant hours in
+it."
+
+The ladies now resumed their sewing; Mrs. Accleton talked of her plans,
+and her economy, and Sally; and Mr. Accleton pored over the newspaper as
+if he was learning it all by heart, even to the advertisements; while
+his wife, who had taken occasion to remark that the price of oil had
+risen considerably, managed two or three times to give the screw of the
+astral lamp a twist to the left, which so much diminished the light that
+Harriet could scarcely see to thread her needle.
+
+About an hour after tea, Mrs. Accleton called her husband to the other
+end of the room, and a half-whispered consultation took place between
+them, which ended in the disappearance of the gentleman. In a short time
+he returned, and there was another consultation, in the course of which
+Harriet could not avoid distinguishing the words--"Sally refuses to quit
+her clear-starching." "Well, dear, cannot I ask you just to do them
+yourself?" "Oh, no! indeed, it is quite out of the question; I would
+willingly oblige you in anything else." "But, dear, only think how often
+you have done this very thing when a boy." "But I am not a boy now."
+"Oh, but dear, you really must. There is no one else to do it. Come now,
+only a few, just a very few." There was a little more persuasion; the
+lady seemed to prevail, and the gentleman quitted the room. A short time
+after, there was heard a sound of cracking nuts, which Mrs. Accleton,
+consciously colouring, endeavoured to drown by talking as fast and as
+loudly as possible.
+
+We have said that Mr. Accleton was a meek man. Having finished his
+business down-stairs, he came back looking red and foolish; and after
+awhile Sally appeared with great displeasure in her countenance, and in
+her hands a waiter containing a plate of shellbarks, a pitcher of water,
+and some glasses. Mr. Accleton belonged to the temperance society, and
+therefore, as his wife said, was principled against having in his house,
+either wine, or any other sort of liquor.
+
+The arrival of Albert Heathcote put an end to this comfortless visit;
+and Mrs. Accleton on taking leave of Harriet, repeated, for the
+twentieth time, her regret at not having had any previous intimation of
+it.
+
+Our heroine could not but wonder why marriage should so soon have have
+made a change for the worse, in the lady with whom she had been passing
+the evening, and whom she had known when Miss Maiden, as a lively,
+pleasant, agreeable girl, not remarkable for much mind, but in every
+other respect the reverse of what she was now. Harriet had yet to learn
+that marriage, particularly when it takes place at a very early age, and
+before the judgment of the lady has had time to ripen by intercourse
+with the world, frequently produces a sad alteration in her habits and
+ideas. As soon as she is emancipated from the control of her parents,
+and when "her market is made," and a partner secured for life, all her
+latent faults and foibles are too prone to show themselves without
+disguise, and she is likewise in much danger of acquiring new ones.
+Presuming upon her importance as a married lady, and also upon the
+indulgence with which husbands generally regard all the sayings and
+doings of their wives in the _early_ days of matrimony, woman, as well
+as man, is indeed too apt to "play fantastic tricks when dressed in a
+little brief authority."
+
+Next day, Harriet was surprised by a morning visit from Mrs. Accleton,
+who came in looking much discomposed, and, after the first salutations,
+said in a tone of some bitterness, "I have met with a great misfortune,
+Miss Heathcote. I have lost that most valuable servant, Sally. The poor
+girl's pride was so deeply wounded at being obliged to bring in the
+waiter before company (and as her family is so respectable, she of
+course has a certain degree of proper pride), that she gave me notice
+this morning of the utter impossibility of her remaining in the house
+another day. I tried in vain to pacify her, and I assured her that your
+coming to tea was entirely accidental, and that such a thing might never
+happen again. All I could urge had no effect on her, and she persisted
+in saying that she never could stay in any place after her feelings had
+been hurt, and that she had concluded to live at home for the future,
+and take in sewing. So she quitted me at once, leaving me without a
+creature in the house, and I have been obliged to borrow mamma's Kitty
+for the present. And I have nearly fatigued myself to death by walking
+almost to Schuylkill to inquire the character of a cook that I heard of
+yesterday. As to a chambermaid, I never expect to find one that will
+replace poor Sally. She was so perfectly clean, and she clear-starched,
+and plaited, and ironed so beautifully; and when I went to a party, she
+could arrange my hair as well as a French barber, which was certainly a
+great saving to me. Undoubtedly, Miss Heathcote, your company is always
+pleasant, and we certainly spent a delightful evening, but if I had had
+the least intimation that you intended me the honour of a visit
+yesterday, I should have taken the liberty of requesting you to defer it
+till I had provided myself with a cook and a waiter. Poor Sally--and to
+think, too, that she had been ironing all day!"
+
+Harriet was much vexed, and attempted an apology for her ill-timed
+visit. She finally succeeded in somewhat mollifying the lady by
+presenting her with some cake and wine as a refreshment after her
+fatigue, and Mrs. Accleton departed in rather a better humour, but still
+the burthen of her song was, "of course, Miss Heathcote, your visits
+must be always welcome--but it is certainly a sad thing to lose poor
+Sally."
+
+Our heroine's next attempt at a sociable visit was to her friend Amanda
+Milbourne, the eldest daughter of a large family. As soon as Harriet
+made her entrance, the children, with all of whom she was a great
+favourite, gathered round, and informed her with delighted faces, that
+their father and mother were going to take them to the play. Harriet
+feared that again her visit had been ill-timed, and offered to return
+home. "On the contrary," said Mrs. Milbourne, "nothing can be more
+fortunate, at least for Amanda, who has declined accompanying us to the
+theatre, as her eyes are again out of order, and she is afraid of the
+lights. Therefore she will be extremely happy to have you spend the
+evening with her." "It is asking too much of Harriet's kindness," said
+Amanda, "to expect her to pass a dull evening alone with me; I fear I
+shall not be able to entertain her as I would wish. The place that was
+taken for me at the theatre will be vacant, and I am sure it would give
+you all great pleasure if Harriet would accept of it, and accompany you
+thither." This invitation was eagerly urged by Mr. and Mrs. Milbourne,
+and loudly reiterated by all the children, but Harriet had been at the
+theatre the preceding evening, the performances of to-night were exactly
+the same, and she was one of those that think "nothing so tedious as a
+twice-seen play," that is, if all the parts are filled precisely as
+before.
+
+Mrs. Milbourne then again felicitated Amanda on being so fortunate as to
+have Miss Heathcote to pass the evening with her. "To say the truth,"
+said the good mother, "I could scarcely reconcile myself to the idea of
+your staying at home, particularly as your eyes will not allow you to
+read or to sew this evening, and you could have no resource but the
+piano." Then turning to Harriet, she continued, "When her eyes are
+well, it may be truly remarked of Amanda, that she is one of those
+fortunate persons 'who are never less alone than when alone;' she often
+says so herself."
+
+Accordingly Harriet was prevailed on to go through with her visit. And
+as soon as tea was over, all the Milbourne family (with the exception of
+Amanda) departed for the theatre.
+
+Harriet produced her bead work, and endeavoured to be as amusing as
+possible, but her friend seemed silent, abstracted, and not in the vein
+for conversation, complaining at times of the pain in her eyes, which,
+however, looked as well as usual. Just after the departure of the
+family, Amanda stole softly to the front-door and put up the dead-latch,
+so that it could be opened from without. After that, she resumed her
+seat in the parlour, and appeared to be anxiously listening for
+something. The sound of footsteps was soon heard at the door, and
+presently a handsome young gentleman walked in without having rung the
+bell, and as he entered the parlour, stopped short, and looked
+disconcerted at finding a stranger there. Amanda blushed deeply, but
+rose and introduced him as Captain Sedbury of the army. Harriet then
+recollected having heard a vague report of an officer being very much in
+love with Miss Milbourne, and that her parents discountenanced his
+addresses, unwilling that the most beautiful and most accomplished of
+their daughters should marry a man who had no fortune but his
+commission.
+
+The fact was, that Captain Sedbury, after an absence of several months
+at his station, had only arrived in town that morning, and finding means
+to notify his mistress of his return, it had been arranged between them
+that he should visit her in the evening, during the absence of the
+family, and for this purpose Amanda had excused herself from going to
+the theatre. He took his seat beside Amanda, who contrived to give him
+her hand behind the backs of their chairs, and attempted some general
+conversation, catching, at times, an opportunity of saying in a low
+voice a few words to the lady of his love, whose inclination was
+evidently to talk to him only.
+
+Harriet Heathcote now found herself in a very awkward situation. On this
+occasion she was palpably what the French call _Madame de Trop_, a
+character which is irksome beyond all endurance to the lady herself, if
+she is a person of proper consideration for the convenience of others.
+Though conscious that they were wishing her at least in Alabama, she
+felt much sympathy for the lovers, as she had a favoured inamorato of
+her own, who was now on his return from Canton. She talked, and their
+replies were tardy and _distrait_; she looked at them, and they were
+gazing at each other, and several times she found them earnestly engaged
+in a whisper. She felt as if on thorns, and became so nervous that she
+actually got the headache. The dullness of Mrs. Drakelow, the sick baby
+of Mrs. Rushbrook, the feuds of the Miss Brandons, the failure of Mr.
+Celbridge, the music-practising of the Urlingfords, the maid Sally of
+the Accletons, had none of them at the time caused our heroine so much
+annoyance as she felt on this evening, from the idea that she was so
+inconveniently interrupting the stolen interview of two affianced
+lovers. At last she became too nervous to endure it any longer, and
+putting away her bead work, she expressed a desire to go home, pleading
+her headache as an excuse. Captain Sedbury started up with alacrity, and
+offered immediately to attend her. But Amanda, whose eyes had at first
+sparkled with delight, suddenly changed countenance, and begged Harriet
+to stay, saying, "You expect your brother, do you not?"
+
+"Certainly," replied Harriet, "but as the distance is short, I hope it
+will be no great encroachment on Captain Sedbury's time. And then," she
+added with a smile, "he will of course return hither and finish his
+visit, after he has deposited me at my own door."
+
+Amanda still hesitated. She recollected an instance of a friend of hers
+having lost her lover in consequence of his escorting home a pretty girl
+that made a "deadset" at him. And she was afraid to trust Captain
+Sedbury with so handsome a young lady as Miss Heathcote. Fortunately,
+however, Harriet removed this perplexity as soon as she guessed the
+cause. "Suppose," said she to Amanda, "that you were to accompany us
+yourself. It is a fine moonlight night, and I have no doubt the walk
+will do you good, as you say you have not been out for several days."
+
+To this proposal Amanda joyfully assented, and in a moment her face was
+radiant with smiles. She ran up stairs for her walking equipments, and
+was down so quickly that Harriet had not much chance of throwing out any
+allurements in her absence, even if she had been so disposed. The
+captain gave an arm to each of the ladies, and in a short time the
+lovers bade Miss Heathcote good night at the door of her father's
+mansion.
+
+Harriet now comprehended why her friend Amanda "was never less alone
+than when alone."
+
+Three weeks afterwards, when Miss Milbourne and Captain Sedbury had
+effected a runaway marriage, and the parents had forgiven them according
+to custom, Amanda and her husband made themselves and Harriet very merry
+by good-humouredly telling her how much her accidental visit had
+incommoded them, and how glad they were to get rid of her.
+
+We have only to relate one more instance of Harriet Heathcote's sociable
+visits. This was to her friends the Tanfields, a very charming family,
+consisting of a widow and her two daughters, whom she was certain of
+finding at home, because they were in deep mourning, and did not go out
+of an evening.
+
+Harriet had been detained by a visiter, and it was nearly dark when she
+reached Mrs. Tanfield's door, and was told by the coloured man who
+opened it, that all his ladies had set out that morning for New York,
+having heard that young Mr. Tanfield (who lived in that city) was
+dangerously ill. Harriet was sorry that her friends should have received
+such painful intelligence, and for a few moments could think of nothing
+else, for she knew young Tanfield to be one of the best of sons and
+brothers. Her next consideration was how to get home, as there was no
+possibility of staying at Mrs. Tanfield's. Her residence was at a
+considerable distance, and "the gloomy night was gathering fast." She
+thought for a moment of asking Peters, the black man, to accompany her;
+but from the loud chattering and giggling that came up from the kitchen,
+(which seemed to be lighted with unusual brightness), and from having
+noticed, as she approached the house, that innumerable coloured people
+were trooping down the area-steps, she rightly concluded that Mrs.
+Tanfield's servants had taken advantage of her absence to give a party,
+and that "high life below stairs" was at that moment performing.
+
+Fearing that if she requested Peters to escort her, he would comply very
+ungraciously, or perhaps excuse himself, rather than be taken away from
+his company, Miss Heathcote concluded on essaying to walk home by
+herself, for the first time in her life, after lamplight. As she turned
+from the door, (which Peters immediately closed) she lingered awhile on
+the step, looking out upon the increasing gloom, and afraid to venture
+into it. However, as there seemed no alternative, she summoned all her
+courage, and set off at a brisk pace. Her intention was to walk quietly
+along without showing the slightest apprehension, but she involuntarily
+shrunk aside whenever she met any of the other sex. On suddenly
+encountering a row of young men, arm in arm, with each a segar in his
+mouth, she came to a full stop, and actually shook with terror. They all
+looked at her a moment, and then made way for her to pass, and she felt
+as if she could have plunged into the wall to avoid touching them.
+
+Presently our heroine met three sailors reeling along, evidently
+intoxicated, and singing loudly. She kept as close as possible to the
+curbstone, expecting nothing else than to be rudely accosted by them,
+but they were too intent upon their song to notice her; though one of
+them staggered against her, and pushed her off the pavement, so as
+almost to throw her into the street.
+
+Her way home lay directly in front of the Walnut Street Theatre, which
+she felt it impossible to pass, as the people were just crowding in. And
+she now blessed the plan of the city which enabled her to avoid this
+inconvenience by "going round a square." The change of route took her
+into a street comparatively silent and retired, and now her greatest
+fear was of being seized and robbed. She would have given the world to
+have met any gentleman of her acquaintance, determining, if she did so,
+to request his protection home. At last she perceived one approaching,
+whose appearance she thought was familiar to her, and as they came
+within the light of a lamp, she found it to be Mr. Morland, an intimate
+friend of her brother's. He looked at her with a scrutinizing glance, as
+if he half-recognised her features under the shade of her hood. Poor
+Harriet now felt ashamed and mortified that Mr. Morland should see her
+alone and unprotected, walking in the street after dark. She had not
+courage to utter a word, but, drawing her hood more closely over her
+face, she glided hastily past him, and walked rapidly on. She had no
+sooner turned the corner of the street, than she regretted having obeyed
+the impulse of the moment, lamenting her want of presence of mind, and
+reflecting how much better it would have been for her to have stopped
+Mr. Morland, and candidly explained to him her embarrassing situation.
+But it was now too late.
+
+Presently there was a cry of fire, and the State House bell tolled out
+north-east, which was exactly the contrary direction from Mr.
+Heathcote's residence. Immediately an engine came thundering along the
+street, accompanied by a hose, and followed by several others, and
+Harriet found herself in the midst of the crowd and uproar, while the
+light of the torches carried by the firemen glared full upon her. But
+what had at first struck her with terror, she now perceived to be rather
+an advantage than otherwise, for no one noticed her in the general
+confusion, and it set every one to running the same way. She found, as
+she approached her father's dwelling, that there was no longer any
+danger of her being molested by man or boy, all being gone to the fire,
+and the streets nearly deserted. Anxious to get home at all hazards, she
+commenced running as fast as she could, and never stopped till she found
+herself at her own door.
+
+The family were amazed and alarmed when they saw Harriet run into the
+parlour, pale, trembling, and almost breathless, and looking half dead
+as she threw herself on the sofa, unable to speak; and she did not
+recover from her agitation, till she had relieved the hurry of her
+spirits by a flood of tears.
+
+It was some minutes before Harriet was sufficiently composed to begin an
+explanation of the events of the evening.
+
+"It is true," said she, "that I have not been actually molested or
+insulted, and I believe, after all, that in our orderly city there is
+little real danger to be apprehended by females of respectable
+appearance, when reduced to the sad necessity of walking alone in the
+evening. But still the mere supposition, the bare possibility of being
+thus exposed to the rudeness of the vulgar and unfeeling, will for ever
+prevent me from again subjecting myself to so intolerable a situation. I
+know not what could induce me again to go through all I have suffered
+since I left Mrs. Tanfield's door.--And this will be my last attempt at
+sociable visiting."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+We submit it to the opinion of our fair readers, whether, in nine cases
+out of ten, the visits of ladies do not "go off the better," if
+anticipated by some previous intimation. We believe that our position
+will be borne out by the experience both of the visiters and the
+visited. Our heroine, as we have seen, did not only, on most of these
+occasions, subject herself to much disappointment and annoyance, but she
+was likewise the cause of considerable inconvenience to her
+entertainers; and we can say with truth, that the little incidents we
+have selected "to point our moral and adorn our tale," are all sketched
+from life and reality.
+
+
+
+
+COUNTRY LODGINGS.
+
+     "Chacun a son gout."--_French Proverb._
+
+
+It has often been a subject of surprise to me, that so many even of
+those highly-gifted people who are fortunate enough to possess both
+sorts of sense (common and uncommon), show, nevertheless, on some
+occasions, a strange disinclination to be guided by the self-evident
+truth, that in all cases where the evil preponderates over the good, it
+is better to reject the whole than to endure a large portion of certain
+evil for the sake of a little sprinkling of probable good. I can think
+of nothing, just now, that will more aptly illustrate my position, than
+the practice so prevalent in the summer-months of quitting a commodious
+and comfortable home, in this most beautiful and convenient of cities,
+for the purpose of what is called boarding out of town; and wilfully
+encountering an assemblage of almost all "the ills that flesh is heir
+to," in the vain hope of finding superior coolness in those
+establishments that go under the denomination of country lodgings, and
+are sometimes to be met with in insulated locations, but generally in
+the unpaved and dusty streets of the villages and hamlets that are
+scattered about the vicinity of Philadelphia.
+
+These places are adopted as substitutes for the springs or the
+sea-shore; and it is also not unusual for persons who have already
+accomplished the fashionable tour, to think it expedient to board out of
+town for the remainder of the summer, or till they are frightened home
+by the autumnal epidemics.
+
+I have more than once been prevailed on to try this experiment, in the
+universal search after coolness which occupies so much of the attention
+of my fellow-citizens from June to September, and the result has been
+uniformly the same: a conviction that a mere residence beyond the
+limits of the city is not an infallible remedy for all the _desagremens_
+of summer; that (to say nothing of other discomforts) it is possible to
+feel the heat more in a small house out of the town than in a large one
+in it.
+
+The last time I was induced to make a trial of the delights of country
+lodgings, I had been told of a very genteel lady (the widow of an
+Englishman, said to have been highly connected in his own country), who
+had taken a charming house at a short distance from the city, with the
+intention of accommodating boarders for the summer; and I finally
+allowed myself to be prevailed on to become an inmate of her
+establishment, as I had just returned from the north, and found the
+weather still very warm.
+
+Two of my friends, a lady and gentleman, accompanied me when I went to
+engage my apartment. The ride was a very short one, and we soon arrived
+at a white frame house with green window-shutters, and also a green gate
+which opened into a little front garden with one gravel walk, two grass
+plats, and four Lombardy poplar trees, which, though excluded in the
+city, still keep their ground in out-of-town places.
+
+There was no knocker, but, after hammering and shaking the door for near
+five minutes, it was at last opened by a barefooted bound-girl, who hid
+herself behind it as if ashamed to be seen. She wore a ragged light
+calico frock, through the slits of which appeared at intervals a black
+stuff petticoat: the body was only kept together with pins, and partly
+concealed by a dirty cape of coarse white muslin; one lock of her long
+yellow hair was stuck up by the wreck of a horn comb, and the remaining
+tresses hung about her shoulders. When we inquired if Mrs. Netherby was
+at home, the girl scratched her head, and stared as if stupified by the
+question, and on its being repeated, she replied that "she would go and
+look," and then left us standing at the door. A coloured servant would
+have opened the parlour, ushered us in, and with smiles and curtsies
+requested us to be seated. However, we took the liberty of entering
+without invitation: and the room being perfectly dark, we also used the
+freedom of opening the shutters.
+
+The floor was covered with a mat which fitted nowhere, and showed
+evidence of long service. Whatever air might have been introduced
+through the fire-place, was effectually excluded by a thick
+chimney-board, covered with a square of wall-paper representing King
+George IV. visiting his cameleopard. I afterwards found that Mrs.
+Netherby was very proud of her husband's English origin. The
+mantel-piece was higher than our heads, and therefore the mirror that
+adorned it was too elevated to be of any use. This lofty shelf was also
+decorated with two pasteboard baskets, edged with gilt paper, and
+painted with bunches of calico-looking flowers, two fire-screens ditto,
+and two card-racks in the shape of harps with loose and crooked strings
+of gold thread. In the centre of the room stood an old-fashioned round
+tea-table, the feet black with age, and the top covered with one of
+those coarse unbleached cloths of figured linen that always look like
+dirty white. The curiosities of the centre-table consisted of a tumbler
+of marigolds: a dead souvenir which had been a living one in 1826: a
+scrap work-box stuck all over with figures of men, women, and children,
+which had been most wickedly cut out of engravings and deprived of their
+backgrounds for this purpose: an album with wishy-washy drawings and
+sickening verses: a china writing-apparatus, destitute alike of ink,
+sand, and wafers: and a card of the British consul, which, I afterwards
+learnt, had once been left by him for Mr. Netherby.
+
+The walls were ornamented with enormous heads drawn in black crayon, and
+hung up in narrow gilt frames with bows of faded gauze riband. One head
+was inscribed Innocence, and had a crooked mouth; a second was
+Beneficence, with a crooked nose; and a third was Contemplation, with a
+prodigious swelling on one of her cheeks; and the fourth was Veneration,
+turning up two eyes of unequal size. The flesh of one of these heads
+looked like china, and another like satin; the third had the effect of
+velvet, and the fourth resembled plush.
+
+All these things savoured of much unfounded pretension; but we did not
+then know that they were chiefly the work of Mrs. Netherby herself, who,
+as we learned in the sequel, had been blest with a boarding-school
+education, and was, according to her own opinion, a person of great
+taste and high polish.
+
+It was a long time before the lady made her appearance, as we had
+arrived in the midst of the siesta in which it was the custom of every
+member of the establishment (servants included) to indulge themselves
+during the greatest part of the afternoon, with the exception of the
+bound-girl, who was left up to "mind the house." Mrs. Netherby was a
+tall, thin, sharp-faced woman, with an immense cap, that stood out all
+round, and encircled her head like a halo, and was embellished with an
+enormous quantity of yellowish gauze riband that seemed to incorporate
+with her huge yellow curls: fair hair being much affected by ladies who
+have survived all other fairness. She received us with abundance of
+smiles, and a profusion of flat compliments, uttered in a voice of
+affected softness; and on making known my business, I was conducted
+up-stairs to see a room which she said would suit me exactly. Mrs.
+Netherby was what is called "a sweet woman."
+
+The room was small, but looked tolerably well, and though I was not much
+prepossessed in favour of either the house or the lady, I was unwilling
+that my friends should think me too fastidious, and it was soon arranged
+that I should take possession the following day.
+
+Next afternoon I arrived at my new quarters; and tea being ready soon
+after, I was introduced to the other boarders, as they came down from
+their respective apartments. The table was set in a place dignified with
+the title of "the dining-room," but which was in reality a sort of
+anti-kitchen, and located between the acknowledged kitchen and the
+parlour. It still retained vestiges of a dresser, part of which was
+entire, in the shape of the broad lower-shelf and the under-closets.
+This was painted red, and Mrs. Netherby called it the side-board. The
+room was narrow, the ceiling was low, the sunbeams had shone full upon
+the windows the whole afternoon, and the heat was extreme. A mulatto man
+waited on the tea-table, with his coat out at elbows, and a marvellous
+dirty apron, not thinking it worth his while to wear good clothes in the
+country. And while he was tolerably attentive to every one else, he made
+a point of disregarding or disobeying every order given to him by Mrs.
+Netherby: knowing that for so trifling a cause as disrespect to herself,
+she would not dare to dismiss him at the risk of getting no one in his
+place; it being always understood that servants confer a great favour on
+their employers when they condescend to go with them into the country.
+Behind Mrs. Netherby's chair stood the long-haired bound girl (called
+Anna by her mistress, and Nance by Bingham the waiter), waving a green
+poplar branch by way of fly-brush, and awkwardly flirting it in every
+one's face.
+
+The aspect of the tea-table was not inviting. Everything was in the
+smallest possible quantity that decency would allow. There was a plate
+of rye-bread, and a plate of wheat, and a basket of crackers: another
+plate with half a dozen paltry cakes that looked as if they had been
+bought under the old Court House: some morsels of dried beef on two
+little tea-cup plates, and a small glass dish of that preparation of
+curds, which in vulgar language is called smearcase, but whose _nom de
+guerre_ is cottage-cheese, at least that was the appellation given it by
+our hostess. The tea was so weak that it was difficult to discover
+whether it was black or green; but, finding it undrinkable, I requested
+a glass of milk: and when Bingham brought me one, Mrs. Netherby said
+with a smile, "See what it is to live in the country!" Though, after
+all, we were not out of sight of Christ Church steeple.
+
+The company consisted of a lady with three very bad children; another
+with a very insipid daughter, about eighteen or twenty, who, like her
+mother, seemed utterly incapable of conversation; and a fat Mrs.
+Pownsey, who talked an infinite deal of nothing, and soon took occasion
+to let me know that she had a very handsome house in the city. The
+gentlemen belonging to these ladies never came out till after tea, and
+returned to town early in the morning.
+
+Towards sunset, I proposed taking a walk with the young lady, but she
+declined on account of the dew, and we returned to the parlour, where
+there was no light during the whole evening, as Mrs. Netherby declared
+that she thought nothing was more pleasant than to sit in a dark room in
+the summer. And when we caught a momentary glimpse from the candles that
+were carried past the door as the people went up and down stairs, we had
+the pleasure of finding that innumerable cockroaches were running over
+the floor and probably over our feet; these detestable insects having
+also a fancy for darkness.
+
+The youngest of the mothers went up stairs to assist her maid in the
+arduous task of putting the children to bed, a business that occupied
+the whole evening; though the eldest boy stoutly refused to go at all,
+and stretching himself on the settee, he slept there till ten o'clock,
+when his father carried him off kicking and screaming.
+
+The gentlemen talked altogether of trade and bank business. Some
+neighbours came in, and nearly fell over us in the dark. Finding the
+parlour (which had but one door) most insupportably warm, I took my seat
+in the entry, a narrow passage which Mrs. Netherby called the hall.
+Thither I was followed by Mrs. Pownsey, a lady of the Malaprop school,
+who had been talking to me all the evening of her daughters, Mary
+Margaret and Sarah Susan, they being now on a visit to an aunt in
+Connecticut. These young ladies had been educated, as their mother
+informed me, entirely by herself, on a plan of her own: and, as she
+assured me, with complete success; for Sarah Susan, the youngest, though
+only ten years old, was already regarded as quite a phinnominy
+(phenomenon), and as to Mary Margaret, she was an absolute prodigal.
+
+"I teach them everything myself," said she, "except their French, and
+music, and drawing, in all which they take lessons from the first
+masters. And Mr. Bullhead, an English gentleman, comes twice a week to
+attend to their reading and writing and arithmetic, and the grammar of
+geography. They never have a moment to themselves, but are kept busy
+from morning till night. You know that idleness is the root of all
+evil."
+
+"It is certainly the root of _much_ evil," I replied; "but you know the
+old adage, which will apply equally to both sexes--'All work and no play
+makes Jack a dull boy.'"
+
+"Oh! they often play," resumed Mrs. Pownsey. "In the evening, after they
+have learned their lessons, they have games of history, and botany, and
+mathematics, and all such instructive diversions. I allow them no other
+plays. Their minds certainly are well stored with all the arts and
+science. At the same time, as I wish them to acquire a sufficient idea
+of what is going on in the world, I permit them every day to read over
+the Marianne List in our New York paper, the Chimerical Advertiser, that
+they may have a proper knowledge of ships: and also Mr. Walsh's Experts
+in his Gazette; though I believe he does not write these little moral
+things himself, but hires Mr. Addison, and Mr. Bacon, and Mr. Locke, and
+other such gentlemen for the purpose. The Daily Chronicle I never allow
+them to touch, for there is almost always a story in every paper, and
+none of these stories are warranted to be true, and reading falsehoods
+will learn them to tell fibs."
+
+I was much amused with this process of reasoning, though I had more than
+once heard such logic on the subject of fictitious narratives.
+
+"But, surely, Mrs. Pownsey," said I, "you do not interdict all works of
+imagination? Do you never permit your daughters to read for amusement?"
+
+"Never," replied this wisest of mothers; "amusement is the high-road to
+vice. Indeed, with all their numerous studies, they have little or no
+time for reading anything. And when they have, I watch well that they
+shall read only books of instruction, such as Mr. Bullhead chooses for
+them. They are now at Rowland's Ancient History (I am told he is not the
+same Rowland that makes the Maccassar oil), and they have already got
+through seven volumes. Their Aunt Watson (who, between ourselves, is
+rather a weak-minded woman) is shocked at the children reading that
+book, and says it is filled with crimes and horrors. But so is all the
+Ancient History that ever I heard of, and of course it is proper that
+little girls should know these things. They will get a great deal more
+benefit from Rowland than from reading Miss Edgeworth's story-books,
+that sister Watson is always recommending."
+
+"Have they ever read the history of their own country?" said I.
+
+"I suppose you mean the History of America," replied Mrs. Pownsey. "Oh!
+that is of no consequence at all, and Mr. Bullhead says it is never read
+in England. After they have got through Rowland, they are going to begin
+Sully's Memoirs. I know Mr. Sully very well; and when they have read it,
+I will make the girls tell me his whole history; he painted my portrait,
+and a most delightful man he is, only rather obstinate; for with all I
+could say, I could not prevail on him to rub out the white spots that he
+foolishly put in the black part of my eyes. And he also persisted in
+making one side of my nose darker than the other. It is strange that in
+these things painters will always take their own course in spite of us,
+as if we that pay for the pictures have not a right to direct them as we
+please. But the artist people are all alike. My friend, Mrs. Oakface,
+tells me she had just the same trouble with Mr. Neagle; in that respect
+he's quite as bad as Mr. Sully."
+
+She paused a moment to take breath, and then proceeded in continuation
+of the subject. "Now we talk of pictures, you have no idea what
+beautiful things my daughters can paint. The very first quarter they
+each produced two pieces to frame. And Mary Margaret is such a capital
+judge of these things, that whenever she is looking at a new souvenir,
+her first thought is to see who did the pictures, that she may know
+which to praise and which not. There are a great many artists now, but I
+remember the time when almost all the pictures were done by Mr. Sculp
+and Mr. Pinx. And then as to music! I wish you could hear my daughters.
+Their execution is wonderful. They can play crotchets quite as well as
+quivers; and they sing sollos, and dooets, and tryos, and quartetties
+equal to the Musical Fund. I long for the time when they are old enough
+to come out. I will go with them everywhere myself; I am determined to
+be their perpetual shabberoon."
+
+So much for the lady that educated her daughters herself.
+
+And still, when the mother is capable and judicious, I know no system of
+education that is likely to be attended with more complete success than
+that which keeps the child under the immediate superintendence of those
+who are naturally the most interested in her improvement and welfare;
+and which removes her from the contagion of bad example, and the danger
+of forming improper or unprofitable acquaintances. Some of the finest
+female minds I have ever known received all their cultivation at home.
+But much, indeed, are those children to be commiserated, whose education
+has been undertaken by a vain and ignorant parent.
+
+About nine o'clock, Mrs. Netherby had begun to talk of the lateness of
+the hour, giving hints that it was time to think of retiring for the
+night, and calling Bingham to shut up the house: which order he did not
+see proper to obey till half-past ten. I then (after much delay and
+difficulty in obtaining a bed-candle) adjourned to my own apartment, the
+evening having appeared to me of almost interminable length, as is
+generally the case with evenings that are passed without light.
+
+The night was warm, and after removing the chimney-board, I left the
+sash of my window open: though I had been cautioned not to do so, and
+told that in the country the night air was always unwholesome. But I
+remembered Dr. Franklin's essay on the art of sleeping well. It was long
+before I closed my eyes, as the heat was intense, and my bed very
+uncomfortable. The bolster and pillow were nearly flat for want of
+sufficient feathers, and the sheets of thick muslin were neither long
+enough nor wide enough. At "the witching time of night," I was suddenly
+awakened by a most terrible shrieking and bouncing in my room, and
+evidently close upon me. I started up in a fright, and soon ascertained
+the presence of two huge cats, who, having commenced a duel on the
+trellis of an old blighted grape-vine that unfortunately ran under the
+back windows, had sprung in at the open sash, and were finishing the
+fight on my bed, biting and scratching each other in a style that an old
+backwoodsman would have recognised as the true rough and tumble.
+
+With great difficulty I succeeded in expelling my fiendish visiters,
+and to prevent their return, there was nothing to be done but to close
+the sash. There were no shutters, and the only screen was a scanty
+muslin curtain, divided down the middle with so wide a gap that it was
+impossible to close it effectually. The air being now excluded, the heat
+was so intolerable as to prevent me from sleeping, and the cats remained
+on the trellis, looking in at the window with their glaring eyes,
+yelling and scratching at the glass, and trying to get in after some
+mice that were beginning to course about the floor.
+
+The heat, the cats and the mice, kept me awake till near morning; and I
+fell asleep about daylight, when I dreamed that a large cat stood at my
+bed-side, and slowly and gradually swelling to the size of a tiger,
+darted its long claws into my throat. Of course, I again woke in a
+fright, and regretted my own large room in the city, where there was no
+trellis under my windows, and where the sashes were made to slide down
+at the top.
+
+I rose early with the intention of taking a walk, as was my custom when
+in town, but the grass was covered with dew, and the road was ankle-deep
+in dust. So I contented myself with making a few circuits round the
+garden, where I saw four altheas, one rose-tree, and two currant-bushes,
+with a few common flowers on each side of a grass-grown gravel walk;
+neither the landlord nor the tenant being willing to incur any further
+expense by improving the domain. The grape-vine and trellis had been
+erected by a former occupant, a Frenchman, who had golden visions of
+wine-making.
+
+At breakfast, we were regaled with muddy water, miscalled coffee; a
+small dish of doubtful eggs; and another of sliced cucumbers, very
+yellow and swimming in sweetish vinegar; also two plates containing
+round white lumps of heavy half-baked dough, dignified by the title of
+Maryland biscuit; and one of dry toast, the crumb left nearly white, and
+the crust burnt to a coal.
+
+After breakfast, there came walking into the room a tame white pigeon,
+which Mrs. Netherby told us was a turtle-dove. "Dear sweet Phebe," she
+exclaimed, taking up the bird and fondling it, "has it come for its
+breakfast; well, then, kiss its own mistress, and it shall have some
+nice soft bread."
+
+The pigeon was then handed round to be admired (it was really a pretty
+one), and Mrs. Netherby told us a long story of its coming to the house
+in the early part of the summer with its mate, who was soon after
+killed by lightning in consequence of sitting on the roof close by the
+conductor during a thunderstorm, and she was very eloquent and
+sentimental in describing the manner in which Phebe had mourned for her
+deceased companion, declaring that the widowed _dove_ often reminded her
+of herself after she had lost poor dear Mr. Netherby.
+
+Our hostess then crumbled some bread on the floor, and placed near it a
+saucer of water, and she rose greatly in my estimation when I observed
+the fixed look of delight with which she gazed on the pet-bird, and her
+evident fondness as she caressed it, and carried it out of the room,
+after it had finished its repast. "Notwithstanding her parsimony and her
+pretension," thought I, "Mrs. Netherby has certainly a good heart."
+
+I went to my own room, and could easily have beguiled the morning with
+my usual occupations, but that I was much incommoded by the intense heat
+of my little apartment, whose thin walls were completely penetrated by
+the sun. Also, I was greatly annoyed by the noise of the children in the
+next room and on the staircase. It was not the joyous exhilaration of
+play, or the shouts and laughter of good-humoured romping (all that I
+could easily have borne); but I heard only an incessant quarrelling,
+fighting, and screaming, which was generally made worse by the
+interference of the mother whenever she attempted to silence it.
+
+Shortly before dinner, the bound-girl came up and went the rounds of all
+the chambers to collect the tumblers from the washing-stands, which
+tumblers were made to perform double duty by figuring also on the
+dining-table. This would have been no great inconvenience, only that no
+one remembered to bring them back again, and the glasses were not
+restored to our rooms till after repeated applications.
+
+The dinner consisted of very salt fried ham; and a pair of skeleton
+chickens, with a small black-looking leg of mutton; and a few
+half-drained vegetables, set about on little plates with a puddle of
+greasy water in the bottom of each. However, as we were in the country,
+there was a pitcher of milk for those that chose to drink milk at
+dinner. For the dessert we had half a dozen tasteless custards, the tops
+burnt, and the cups half-full of whey, a plate of hard green pears,
+another of hard green apples, and a small whitish watermelon.
+
+"What a fine thing it is to be in the country," said Mrs. Netherby,
+"and have such abundance of delicious fruit! I can purchase every
+variety from my next neighbour."
+
+The truth is, that even where there is really an inclination to furnish
+a good table, there is generally much difficulty and inconvenience in
+procuring the requisite articles at any country place that is not
+absolutely a farm, and where the arrangements are not on an extensive
+scale. Mrs. Netherby, however, made no apology for any deficiency, but
+always went on with smiling composure, praising everything on the table,
+and wondering how people could think of remaining in the city when they
+might pass the summer in the country. As the gentlemen ate their meals
+in town (a proof of their wisdom), ours were very irregular as to time;
+Mrs. Netherby supposing that it could make no difference to ladies, or
+to any persons who had not business that required punctual attention.
+
+Two days after my arrival, the dust having been laid by a shower, Mrs.
+Pownsey and myself set out to walk on the road, in the latter part of
+the afternoon. When we came home, I found that the washing-stand had
+been removed from my room, and the basin and pitcher placed in the
+corner on a little triangular shelf that had formerly held a flower-pot.
+The mirror was also gone, and I found as a substitute a little
+half-dollar Dutch glass in a narrow red frame. The two best chairs were
+also missing, one chair only being left, and that a broken one; and a
+heavy patch-work quilt had taken the place of the white dimity
+bed-cover. I learnt that these articles had been abstracted to furnish a
+chamber that was as yet disengaged, and which they were to decorate by
+way of enticing a new-comer. Next morning, after my room had been put in
+order, I perceived that the mattrass had been exchanged for a
+feather-bed, and on inquiring the reason of Mrs. Netherby she told me,
+with much sweetness, that it had been taken for two southern ladies that
+were expected in the afternoon, and who, being southern, could not
+possibly sleep on anything but a mattrass, and that she was sorry to
+cause me any inconvenience, but it would be a great disadvantage to
+_her_ if they declined coming.
+
+In short, almost every day something disappeared from my room to assist
+in fitting up apartments for strangers; the same articles being
+afterwards transferred to others that were still unoccupied. But what
+else was to be done, when Mrs. Netherby mildly represented the
+impossibility of getting things at a short notice from town?
+
+My time passed very monotonously. The stock of books I had brought with
+me was too soon exhausted, and I had no sewing of sufficient importance
+to interest my attention. The nonsense of Mrs. Pownsey became very
+tiresome, and the other ladies were mere automatons. The children were
+taken sick (as children generally are at country lodgings), and fretted
+and cried all the time. I longed for the society of my friends in the
+city, and for the unceremonious visits that are so pleasant in summer
+evenings.
+
+After a trial of two weeks, during which I vainly hoped that custom
+would reconcile me to much that had annoyed me at first, I determined to
+return to Philadelphia; in the full persuasion that this would be my
+last essay at boarding out of town.
+
+On the day before my departure, we were all attracted to the
+front-garden, to see a company of city volunteers, who were marching to
+a certain field where they were to practise shooting at a target. While
+we were lingering to catch the last glimpse of them as long as they
+remained in sight, the cook came to Mrs. Netherby (who was affectedly
+smelling the leaves of a dusty geranium), and informed her that though
+she had collected all the cold meat in the house, there was still not
+enough to fill the pie that was to be a part of the dinner.[85] "Oh!
+then," replied Mrs. Netherby, with perfect sang-froid, and in her usual
+soft voice, "put Phebe on the top of it--put Phebe on the top." "Do you
+mean," said the cook, "that I am to kill the pigeon to help out with?"
+"Certainly," rejoined Mrs. Netherby, "put Phebe in the pie."
+
+[Footnote 85: Fact.]
+
+There was a general exclamation from all present, except from the
+automaton young lady and her mamma; and the children who were looking
+out of the front windows were loud in lamentations for the poor pigeon,
+who, in truth, had constituted their only innocent amusement. For my
+part, I could not forbear openly expressing my surprise that Mrs.
+Netherby should think for a moment of devoting her pet pigeon to such a
+purpose, and I earnestly deprecated its impending fate.
+
+Mrs. Netherby reddened, and forgetting her usual mildness, her eyes
+assumed a very cat-like expression as she replied to me in a loud sharp
+voice. "Upon my word, miss, this is very strange. Really, you astonish
+me. This is something quite new. I am not at all accustomed to having
+the ladies of my family to meddle in my private affairs. Really, miss,
+it is excessively odd that you should presume to dictate to me about
+the disposal of my own property. I have some exquisite veal-cutlets and
+some delicious calves-feet, but the pie is wanted for a centre dish. I
+am always, as you know, particular in giving my table a handsome
+set-out."
+
+In vain we protested our willingness to dine without the centre dish,
+rather than the pigeon, whom we regarded in the light of an intimate
+acquaintance, should be killed to furnish it, all declaring that nothing
+could induce us to taste a mouthful of poor Phebe. Mrs. Netherby,
+obstinately bent on carrying her point (as is generally the case with
+women who profess an extra portion of sweetness), heard us unmoved, only
+replying, "Certainly, miss, you cannot deny that the bird is mine, and
+that I have a right to do as I please with my own property. Phillis, put
+Phebe in the pie!"
+
+The cook grinned, and stood irresolute; when suddenly Bingham the waiter
+stepped up with Phebe in his hands, and calling to a black boy of his
+acquaintance, who lived in the neighbourhood, and was passing at the
+moment: "Here, Harrison," said he, "are you going to town?" "Yes,"
+replied the boy, "I am going there of an errand." "Then take this here
+pigeon with you," said Bingham, "and give it as a gift from me to your
+sister Louisa. You need not tell her to take good care of it. I know
+she'll affection it for my sake. There, take it, and run." So saying, he
+handed the pigeon over the fence to the boy, who ran off with it
+immediately, and Bingham coolly returned to the kitchen, whistling as he
+went.
+
+"Well, if I ever saw the like!" exclaimed Mrs. Netherby. "But Bingham
+will always have his way; he's really a strange fellow." Then, looking
+foolish and subdued, she walked into the house. I could not help
+laughing, and was glad that the life of the poor pigeon had been saved
+on any terms, though sorry to find that Mrs. Netherby, after all, had
+not the redeeming quality I ascribed to her.
+
+To conclude,--I have no doubt that summer establishments may be found
+which are in many respects more agreeable than the one I have attempted
+to describe. But it has not been my good fortune, or that of my friends
+who have adopted this plan of getting through the warm weather, to meet
+with any country lodgings (of course, I have no reference to decided
+farm-houses), in which the comparison was not decidedly in favour of the
+superior advantages of remaining in a commodious mansion in the city,
+surrounded with the comforts of home, and "with all the appliances, and
+means to boot," which only a large town can furnish.
+
+
+
+
+CONSTANCE ALLERTON;
+
+OR,
+
+THE MOURNING SUITS.
+
+     "But I have that within which passeth show."--SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+Mr. Allerton, a merchant of Philadelphia, had for some years been doing
+business to considerable advantage, when a sudden check was put to his
+prosperity by the unexpected failure of a house for which he had
+endorsed to a very large amount. There was no alternative but to
+surrender everything to his creditors; and this he did literally and
+conscientiously. He brought down his mind to his circumstances; and as,
+at that juncture, the precarious state of the times did not authorize
+any hope of success if he recommenced business (as he might have done)
+upon borrowed capital, he gladly availed himself of a vacant clerkship
+in one of the principal banks of the city.
+
+His salary, however, would have been scarcely adequate to the support of
+his family, had he not added something to his little stipend by
+employing his leisure hours in keeping the books of a merchant. He
+removed with his wife and children to a small house in a remote part of
+the city; and they would, with all his exertions, have been obliged to
+live in the constant exercise of the most painful economy, had it not
+been for the aid they derived from his sister Constance Allerton. Since
+the death of her parents, this young lady had resided at New Bedford
+with her maternal aunt, Mrs. Ilford, a quakeress, who left her a legacy
+of ten thousand dollars.
+
+After the demise of her aunt, Miss Allerton took lodgings at a private
+house in New Bedford; but on hearing of her brother's misfortunes, she
+wrote to know if it would be agreeable to him and to his family for her
+to remove to Philadelphia, and to live with them--supposing that the sum
+she would pay for her accommodation might, in their present
+difficulties, prove a welcome addition to their income. This proposal
+was joyfully acceded to, as Constance was much beloved by every member
+of her brother's family, and had kept up a continual intercourse with
+them by frequent letters, and by an annual visit of a few weeks to
+Philadelphia.
+
+At this period, Constance Allerton had just completed her twenty-third
+year. She had a beautiful face, a fine graceful figure, and a highly
+cultivated mind. With warm feelings and deep sensibility, she possessed
+much energy of character--a qualification which, when called forth by
+circumstances, is often found to be as useful in a woman as in a man.
+Affectionate, generous, and totally devoid of all selfish
+considerations, Constance had nothing so much at heart as the comfort
+and happiness of her brother's family; and to become an inmate of their
+house was as gratifying to her as it was to them. She furnished her own
+apartment, and shared it with little Louisa, the youngest of her three
+nieces, a lovely child about ten years old. She insisted on paying the
+quarter bills of her nephew Frederic Allerton, and volunteered to
+complete the education of his sisters, who were delighted to receive
+their daily lessons from an instructress so kind, so sensible, and so
+competent. Exclusive of these arrangements, she bestowed on them many
+little presents, which were always well-timed and judiciously selected;
+though, to enable her to purchase these gifts, she was obliged, with her
+limited income of six hundred dollars, to deny herself many
+gratifications, and, indeed, conveniences, to which she had hitherto
+been accustomed, and the want of which she now passed over with a
+cheerfulness and delicacy which was duly appreciated by the objects of
+her kindness.
+
+In this manner the family had been living about a twelvemonth, when Mr.
+Allerton was suddenly attacked by a violent and dangerous illness, which
+was soon accompanied by delirium; and in a few days it brought him to
+the brink of the grave.
+
+His disease baffled the skill of an excellent physician; and the
+unremitting cares of his wife and sister could only effect a slight
+alleviation of his sufferings. He expired on the fifth day, without
+recovering his senses, and totally unconscious of the presence of the
+heart-struck mourners that were weeping round his bed.
+
+When Mr. Allerton's last breath had departed, his wife was conveyed from
+the room in a fainting-fit. Constance endeavoured to repress her own
+feelings, till she had rendered the necessary assistance to Mrs.
+Allerton, and till she had somewhat calmed the agony of the children.
+She then retired to her own apartment, and gave vent to a burst of
+grief, such as can only be felt by those in whose minds and hearts there
+is a union of sense and sensibility. With the weak and frivolous, sorrow
+is rarely either acute or lasting.
+
+The immortal soul of Mr. Allerton had departed from its earthly
+tenement, and it was now necessary to think of the painful details that
+belonged to the disposal of his inanimate corpse. As soon as Constance
+could command sufficient courage to allow her mind to dwell on this
+subject, she went down to send a servant for Mr. Denman (an old friend
+of the family), whom she knew Mrs. Allerton would wish to take charge of
+the funeral. At the foot of the stairs, she met the physician, who, by
+her pale cheeks, and by the tears that streamed from her eyes at sight
+of him, saw that all was over. He pressed her hand in sympathy; and,
+perceiving that she was unable to answer his questions, he bowed and
+left the house.
+
+In a short time, Mr. Denman arrived; and Mrs. Allerton declaring herself
+incompetent to the task, Constance saw the gentleman, and requested him
+to make every necessary arrangement for a plain but respectable funeral.
+
+At such times, how every little circumstance seems to add a new pang to
+the agonized feelings of the bereaved family! The closing of the
+window-shutters, the arrival of the woman whose gloomy business it is to
+prepare the corpse for interment, the undertaker coming to take measure
+for the coffin, the removal of the bedding on which the deceased has
+expired, the gliding step, the half-whispered directions--all these sad
+indications that death is in the house, fail not, however quietly and
+carefully managed, to reach the ears and hearts of the afflicted
+relatives, assisted by the intuitive knowledge of what is so well
+understood to be passing at these melancholy moments.
+
+In the evening, after Louisa had cried herself to sleep, Constance
+repaired to the apartment of her sister-in-law, whom, about an hour
+before, she had left exhausted and passive. Mrs. Allerton was extended
+on the bed, pale and silent; her daughters, Isabella and Helen, were in
+tears beside her; and Frederick had retired to his room.
+
+In the fauteuil, near the head of the bed, sat Mrs. Bladen, who, in the
+days of their prosperity, had been the next door neighbour of the
+Allerton family, and who still continued to favour them with frequent
+visits. She was one of those busy people who seem almost to verify the
+justly-censured maxim of Rochefoucault, that "in the misfortunes of our
+best friends, there is always something which is pleasing to us."
+
+True it was that Mrs. Bladen, being a woman of great leisure, and of a
+disposition extremely officious, devoted most of her time and attention
+to the concerns of others; and any circumstances that prevented her
+associates from acting immediately for themselves, of course threw open
+a wider field for her interference.
+
+"And now, my dear friends," said Mrs. Bladen, squeezing Mrs. Allerton's
+hand, and looking at Constance, who seated herself in an opposite chair,
+"as the funeral is to take place on Thursday, you know there is no time
+to be lost. What have you fixed on respecting your mourning? I will
+cheerfully attend to it for you, and bespeak everything necessary."
+
+At the words "funeral" and "mourning," tears gushed again from the eyes
+of the distressed family; and neither Mrs. Allerton nor Constance could
+command themselves sufficiently to reply.
+
+"Come, my dear creatures," continued Mrs. Bladen, "you must really make
+an effort to compose yourselves. Just try to be calm for a few minutes,
+till we have settled this business. Tell me what I shall order for you.
+However, there is but one rule on these occasions--crape and bombazine,
+and everything of the best. Nothing, you know, is more disreputable than
+mean mourning."
+
+"I fear, then," replied Mrs. Allerton, "that our mourning attire must be
+mean enough. The situation in which we are left will not allow us to go
+to any unnecessary expense in that, or in anything else. We had but
+little to live upon--we could lay by nothing. We have nothing
+beforehand: we did not--we could not apprehend that this dreadful event
+was so near. And you know that his salary--that Mr. Allerton's
+salary--of course, expires with him."
+
+"So I suppose, my dear friend," answered Mrs. Bladen; "but you know you
+_must_ have mourning; and as the funeral takes place so soon, there will
+be little enough time to order it and have it made."
+
+"We will borrow dresses to wear at the--to wear on Thursday," said Mrs.
+Allerton.
+
+"And of whom will you borrow?"
+
+"I do not know. I have not yet thought."
+
+"The Liscom family are in black," observed Isabella; "no doubt they
+would lend us dresses."
+
+"Oh! none of their things will fit you at all," exclaimed Mrs. Bladen.
+"None of the Liscoms have the least resemblance to any of you, either in
+height or figure. You would look perfectly ridiculous in _their_
+things."
+
+"Then there are Mrs. Patterson and her daughters," said Helen.
+
+"The Pattersons," replied Mrs. Bladen, "are just going to leave off
+black; and nothing that _they_ have looks either new or fresh. You know
+how soon black becomes rusty. You certainly would feel very much
+mortified if you had to make a shabby appearance at Mr. Allerton's
+funeral. Besides, nobody now wears borrowed mourning--it can always be
+detected in a moment. No--with a little exertion--and I repeat that I am
+willing to do all in my power--there is time enough to provide the whole
+family with genteel and proper mourning suits. And as you _must_ get
+them at last, it is certainly much better to have them at first, so as
+to appear handsomely at the funeral."
+
+"Oh!" exclaimed Mrs. Allerton, sighing, "at such a time, what
+consequence can we possibly attach to our external appearance? How can
+we for a moment think of it?"
+
+"To be sure, my dear friend," said Mrs. Bladen, kissing her, "you have
+had a very severe loss--very severe, indeed. It is really quite
+irreparable; and I can sincerely sympathize in your feelings. Certainly
+everybody ought to feel on these occasions; but you know it is
+impossible to devote every moment between this and the funeral to tears
+and sobs. One cannot be crying all the time--nobody ever does. And, as
+to the mourning, that is of course indispensable, and a thing that
+_must_ be."
+
+Mrs. Allerton wept bitterly. "Indeed, indeed!" said she, "I cannot
+discuss it now."
+
+"And if it is not settled to-night," resumed Mrs. Bladen, "there will
+be hardly time to-morrow to talk it over, and get the things, and send
+to the mantua-maker's and milliner's. You had better get it off your
+mind at once. Suppose you leave it entirely to me. I attended to all the
+mourning for the Liscoms, and the Weldons, and the Nortons. It is a
+business I am quite used to. I pique myself on being rather clever at
+it."
+
+"I will, then, trust to your judgment," replied Mrs. Allerton, anxious
+to get rid of the subject, and of the light frivolous prattle of her
+_soi-disant_ dear friend. "Be kind enough to undertake it, and procure
+for us whatever you think suitable--only let it not be too expensive."
+
+"As to that," answered Mrs. Bladen, "crape is crape, and bombazine is
+bombazine; and as everybody likes to have these articles of good
+quality, nothing otherwise is now imported for mourning. With regard to
+Frederick's black suit, Mr. Watson will send to take his measure, and
+there will be no further difficulty about it. Let me see--there must be
+bombazine for five dresses: that is, for yourself, three daughters, and
+Miss Allerton."
+
+"Not for me," said Constance, taking her handkerchief from her eyes. "I
+shall not get a bombazine."
+
+"My dear creature!" cried Mrs. Bladen; "not get a bombazine! You
+astonish me! What else can you possibly have? Black gingham or black
+chintz is only fit for wrappers; and black silk is no mourning at all."
+
+"I shall wear no mourning," replied Constance, with a deep sigh.
+
+"Not wear mourning!" ejaculated Mrs. Bladen. "What, no mourning at all!
+Not wear mourning for your own brother! Now you do indeed surprise me."
+
+Mrs. Allerton and her daughters were also surprised; and they withdrew
+their handkerchiefs from their eyes, and gazed on Constance, as if
+scarcely believing that they had understood her rightly.
+
+"I have considered it well," resumed Miss Allerton; "and I have come to
+a conclusion to make no change in my dress. In short, to wear no
+mourning, even for my brother--well as I have loved him, and deeply as I
+feel his loss."
+
+"This is very strange," said Mrs. Allerton.
+
+"Excuse me, Miss Constance," said Mrs. Bladen, "but have you no respect
+for his memory? He was certainly an excellent man."
+
+"Respect for his memory!" exclaimed Constance, bursting into tears.
+"Yes! I indeed respect his memory! And were he still living, there is
+nothing on earth I would not cheerfully do for him, if I thought it
+would contribute to his happiness or comfort. But he is now in a land
+where all the forms and ceremonies of this world are of no avail; and
+where everything that speaks to the senses only, must appear like the
+mimic trappings of a theatre. With him, all is now awful reality. To the
+decaying inhabitant of the narrow and gloomy grave, or to the
+disembodied spirit that has ascended to its Father in heaven, of what
+consequence is the colour that distinguishes the dress of those whose
+mourning is deep in the heart? What to him is the livery that fashion
+has assigned to grief, when he knows how intense is the feeling itself,
+in the sorrowing bosoms of the family that loved him so well?"
+
+"All this is very true," remarked Mrs. Bladen; "but still, custom is
+everything, or fashion, as you are pleased to call it. You know you are
+not a Quaker; and therefore I do not see how you can possibly venture to
+go without mourning on such an occasion as this. Surely, you would not
+set the usages of the world at defiance?"
+
+"I would not," replied Constance, "in things of minor importance; but on
+this subject I believe I can be firm."
+
+"Of course," said Mrs. Bladen, "you will not go to the funeral without
+mourning."
+
+"I cannot go to the funeral at all," answered Constance.
+
+"Not go to the funeral!" exclaimed Mrs. Allerton. "Dear Constance, you
+amaze me!"
+
+"I hope," observed Mrs. Bladen, looking very serious, "there can be no
+reason to doubt Miss Allerton's affection for her brother?"
+
+"Oh! no! no! no!" cried the two girls indignantly. "If you had only
+seen," said Isabella, "how she nursed my dear father in his illness--how
+she was with him day and night."
+
+"And how much she always loved him," said Helen.
+
+"My dear kind sister," said Mrs. Allerton, taking the hand of Constance,
+"I hope I shall never again see you distressed by such an intimation."
+
+Mrs. Bladen reddened, looked down, and attentively examined the
+embroidered corners of her pocket handkerchief. There was a silence of a
+few moments, till Constance, making an effort to speak with composure,
+proceeded to explain herself.
+
+"My brother," said she, "has finished his mortal existence. No human
+power, no human love, can aid him or soothe him now; and we will
+endeavour to submit with resignation to the will of Omnipotence. I
+hope--I trust we shall be able to do so; but the shock is yet too
+recent, and we cannot at once subdue the feelings of nature. It is
+dreadful to see the lifeless remains of one we have long and dearly
+loved, removed from our sight for ever, and consigned to the darkness
+and loneliness of the grave. For my part, on this sad occasion I feel an
+utter repugnance to the idea of becoming an object of curiosity to the
+spectators that gaze from the windows, and to the vulgar and noisy crowd
+that assembles about a burying-ground when an interment is to take
+place. I cannot expose my tears, my deep affliction, to the comments of
+the multitude; and I cannot have my feelings outraged by perhaps
+overhearing their coarse remarks. I may be too fastidious--I may be
+wrong; but to be present at the funeral of my brother is an effort I
+cannot resolve to make. And, moreover--"
+
+Here her voice for a few moments became inarticulate, and her sister and
+nieces sobbed audibly.
+
+"And then," she continued, "I cannot stand beside that open grave--I
+cannot see the coffin let down into it, and the earth thrown upon the
+lid till it is covered up for ever. I cannot--indeed I cannot. In the
+seclusion of my own apartment I shall, of course, know that all this is
+going on, and I shall suffer most acutely; but there will be no
+strangers to witness my sufferings. It is a dreadful custom, that of
+females attending the funerals of their nearest relatives. I wish it
+were abolished throughout our country, as it is in many parts of
+Europe."
+
+"But you know," said Mrs. Bladen, "that it is almost universal in
+Philadelphia; and, 'when we are in Rome we must do as Rome does.'
+Besides which, it is certainly our duty always to see our friends and
+relatives laid in the grave."
+
+"Not when we are assured," replied Constance, "that the melancholy
+office can be properly performed without our presence or assistance.
+Duty requires of us no sacrifice by which neither the living nor the
+dead can be benefited. But I have said enough; and I cannot be present
+at my brother's funeral."
+
+She then rose and left the room, unable any longer to sustain a
+conversation so painful to her.
+
+"Well, I am really astonished!" exclaimed Mrs. Bladen. "Not wear
+mourning for her brother! Not go to his funeral! However, I suppose she
+thinks she has a right to do as she pleases. But, she may depend on it,
+people will talk."
+
+Just then a servant came to inform Mrs. Bladen that her husband was
+waiting for her in the parlour.
+
+"Well, my dear Mrs. Allerton," said she, as she rose to depart, "we have
+not yet settled about the mourning. Of course, you are not going to
+adopt Miss Constance's strange whim of wearing none at all."
+
+"What she has said on the subject appears to me very just," replied Mrs.
+Allerton.
+
+"Aunt Constance is always right," remarked one of the girls.
+
+"As to Miss Allerton," resumed Mrs. Bladen, "she is well known to be
+independent in every sense of the word; and therefore she may do as she
+pleases--though she may rest assured that people will talk."
+
+"What people?" asked Mrs. Allerton.
+
+"Everybody--all the world."
+
+Mrs. Allerton thought how very circumscribed was the world in which she
+and her family had lived since the date of their fallen fortunes.
+
+"It is well known," pursued Mrs. Bladen, "that Miss Constance is able to
+wear mourning if she chooses it. But you may rely on it, Mrs. Allerton,
+that if you and your children do not appear in black, people will be
+ill-natured enough to say that it is because you cannot afford it.
+Excuse my plainness."
+
+"They will say rightly, then," replied Mrs. Allerton, with a sigh. "We
+certainly cannot afford it."
+
+"How you talk!" said Mrs. Bladen. "Afford it or not, everybody has to
+wear mourning, and everybody does, from the highest down to the lowest.
+Even my washerwoman put all her family (that is herself and her six
+children) into black when her husband died; notwithstanding that he was
+no great loss--for he was an idle, drunken Irishman, and beat them all
+round every day of his life. And my cook, a coloured woman, whose
+grandfather died in the almshouse a few weeks ago, has as handsome a
+suit of mourning as any lady need desire to wear."
+
+"May I request," said Mrs. Allerton, "that you will spare me on this
+subject to-night? Indeed I can neither think nor talk about it."
+
+"Well, then," replied Mrs. Bladen, kissing her, "I will hope to find you
+better in the morning. I shall be with you immediately after breakfast."
+
+She then took her leave; and Constance, who had been weeping over the
+corpse of Mr. Allerton, now returned to the apartment of her
+sister-in-law.
+
+Released from the importunities of Mrs. Bladen, our heroine now mildly
+and sensibly reasoned with the family on the great inconvenience, and,
+as she believed, the unnecessary expense of furnishing themselves with
+suits of mourning in their present circumstances. The season was late in
+the autumn, and they had recently supplied themselves with their winter
+outfit, all of which would now be rendered useless if black must be
+substituted. Her arguments had so much effect that Mrs. Allerton, with
+the concurrence of her daughters, very nearly promised to give up all
+intention of making a general change in their dress. But they found it
+harder than they had supposed, to free themselves from the trammels of
+custom.
+
+Mrs. Allerton and Constance passed a sleepless night, and the children
+"awoke to weep" at an early hour in the morning. They all met in tears
+at the breakfast table. Little was eaten, and the table was scarcely
+cleared, when Mrs. Bladen came in, followed by two shop boys, one
+carrying two rolls of bombazine, and the other two boxes of Italian
+crape. Constance had just left the room.
+
+After the first salutations were over, Mrs. Bladen informed Mrs.
+Allerton that she had breakfasted an hour earlier than usual, that she
+might allow herself more time to go out, and transact the business of
+the morning.
+
+"My dear friend," said she, "Mrs. Doubleprice has sent you, at my
+request, two pieces of bombazine, that you may choose for yourself.--One
+is more of a jet black than the other--but I think the blue black rather
+the finest. However, they are both of superb quality, and this season
+jet black is rather the most fashionable. I have been to Miss Facings,
+the mantua-maker, who is famous for mourning. Bombazines, when made up
+by her, have an air and a style about them, such as you will never see
+if done by any one else. There is nothing more difficult than to make up
+mourning as it ought to be.--I have appointed Miss Facings to meet me
+here--I wonder she has not arrived--she can tell you how much is
+necessary for the four dresses. If Miss Allerton finally concludes to be
+like other people and put on black, I suppose she will attend to it
+herself. These very sensible young ladies are beyond my comprehension."
+
+"I am sure," said Helen, "no one is more easy to understand, than my
+dear Aunt Constance."
+
+"And here," continued Mrs. Bladen, "is the double-width crape for the
+veils. As it is of very superior quality, you had best have it to trim
+the dresses, and for the neck handkerchiefs, and to border the black
+cloth shawls that you will have to get."
+
+We must remark to our readers, that at the period of our story, it was
+customary to trim mourning dresses with a very broad fold of crape,
+reaching nearly from the feet to the knees.
+
+Mrs. Allerton on hearing the prices of the crape and bombazine, declared
+them too expensive.
+
+"But only look at the quality," persisted Mrs. Bladen, "and you know the
+best things are always the cheapest in the end--and, as I told you,
+nobody now wears economical mourning."
+
+"We had best wear none of any description," said Mrs. Allerton.
+
+"Ah!" cried Mrs. Bladen, "I see that Miss Constance has been trying
+again to make a convert of you. Yet, as you are not Quakers, I know not
+how you will be able to show your faces in the world, if you do not put
+on black. Excuse me, but innovations on established customs ought only
+to be attempted by people of note--by persons so far up in society that
+they may feel at liberty to do any out-of-the-way thing with impunity."
+
+"I wish, indeed," said Mrs. Allerton, "that some of those influential
+persons would be so public-spirited as to set the example of dispensing
+with all customs that bear hard on people in narrow circumstances."
+
+The mantua-maker now made her appearance, and Mrs. Bladen exclaimed,
+"Oh! Miss Facings, we have been waiting for you to tell us exactly how
+much of everything we are to get."
+
+A long and earnest discussion now took place between Mrs. Bladen and the
+dressmaker, respecting the quality and quantity of the bombazine and
+crape.
+
+Miss Facings having calculated the number of yards, Mrs. Bladen inquired
+if there was no yard-measure in the house. One was produced, and the
+measuring commenced forthwith; Mrs. Allerton having no longer energy to
+offer any further opposition. She sat with her handkerchief to her face,
+and her daughters wept also. Sirs. Bladen stepped up to her, and
+whispered, "You are aware that it will not be necessary to pay the bills
+immediately."
+
+"Ah!" returned Mrs. Allerton, "I know not when they can be paid. But we
+will strain every nerve to do it as soon as possible. I cannot bear the
+idea of remaining in debt for this mourning."
+
+Their business being accomplished, the shop-boys departed, and Miss
+Facings made her preparations for cutting out the dresses, taking an
+opportunity of assuring the weeping girls that nothing was more becoming
+to the figure than black bombazine, and that everybody looked their best
+in a new suit of mourning.
+
+At this juncture, Constance returned to the room, and was extremely
+sorry to find that the fear of singularity, and the officious
+perseverance of Mrs. Bladen, had superseded the better sense of her
+sister-in-law. But as the evil was now past remedy, our heroine,
+according to her usual practice, refrained from any further
+animadversions on the subject.
+
+Little Louisa was now brought in to be fitted: and when her frock was
+cut out, Constance offered to make it herself, on hearing Miss Facings
+declare that she would be obliged to keep her girls up all night to
+complete the dresses by the appointed time, as they had already more
+work in the house than they could possibly accomplish.
+
+Mrs. Allerton expressed great unwillingness to allowing her
+sister-in-law to take the trouble of making Louisa's dress. But
+Constance whispered to her that she had always found occupation to be
+one of the best medicines for an afflicted mind, and that it would in
+some degree prevent her thoughts from dwelling incessantly on the same
+melancholy subject. Taking Louisa with her, she retired to her own
+apartment, and the frock was completed by next day: though the
+overflowing eyes of poor Constance frequently obliged her to lay down
+her sewing. In reality, her chief motive in proposing to make the dress,
+was to save the expense of having it done by the mantua-maker.
+
+Miss Facings took Mrs. Allerton's gown home with her, saying she would
+send one of her girls for the two others; and Mrs. Bladen then began to
+plan the bonnets and shawls. She went off to a fashionable milliner, and
+engaged a mourning bonnet and four mourning caps for Mrs. Allerton, and
+a bonnet for each of her daughters. And she was going back and forwards
+nearly all day with specimens of black cloth for the shawls, black
+stockings, black gloves, &c.
+
+The girls, at their aunt's suggestion, hemmed the crape veils, and on
+the following morning, she assisted them in making and trimming the
+shawls. Still, Constance was well convinced that the expense of the
+mourning (including the suit bespoken for Frederick) would be greater
+than they could possibly afford. The cost of the funeral she intended to
+defray from her own funds, and she took occasion to request Mr. Denman
+to have nothing about it that should be unnecessarily expensive.
+
+The hour arrived when the sorrowing family of Mr. Allerton were to be
+parted for ever from all that remained of the husband, the father, and
+the brother. They had taken the last look of his fixed and lifeless
+features, they had imprinted the last kiss on his cold and pallid lips;
+and from the chamber of death, they had to adjourn to the incongruous
+task of attiring themselves in their mourning habits to appear at his
+funeral. How bitterly they wept as their friends assisted them in
+putting on their new dresses; and when they tied on their bonnets and
+their long veils, to follow to his grave the object of their fondest
+affection!
+
+Constance, with an almost breaking heart, sat in her chamber, and little
+Louisa hung crying on her shoulder, declaring that she could not see her
+dear father buried. But Mrs. Bladen came in, protesting that all the
+children _must_ be present, and that people would _talk_ if even the
+youngest child was to stay away. Mrs. Bladen then put on Louisa's
+mourning dress almost by force. When this was done, the little girl
+threw her arms round the neck of her aunt and kissed her, saying with a
+burst of tears, "When I see you again, my dear dear father will be
+covered up in his grave." Mrs. Bladen then led, or rather dragged the
+child to the room in which the family were assembled.
+
+Constance threw herself on her bed in a paroxysm of grief. She heard the
+slow tread of the company as they came in, and she fancied that she
+could distinguish the sound of the lid as it was laid on the coffin, and
+the fastening of the screws that closed it for ever. She knew when it
+was carried down stairs, and she listened in sympathetic agony to the
+sobs of the family as they descended after it. She heard the shutting of
+the hearse-door, and the gloomy vehicle slowly rolling off to give
+place to the carriages of the mourners. She started up, and casting her
+eyes towards an opening in the window-curtain, she saw Mr. Denman
+supporting to the first coach the tottering steps of her half-fainting
+sister-in-law. She looked no longer, but sunk back on the bed and hid
+her face on the pillow. By all that she suffered when indulging her
+grief alone and in the retirement of her chamber, she felt how dreadful
+it would have been to her, had she accompanied the corpse of her brother
+to its final resting-place.
+
+In about an hour the family returned, pale, exhausted, and worn out with
+the intensity of their feelings at the grave. And they could well have
+dispensed with the company of Mrs. Bladen, who came home and passed the
+evening with them; as she foolishly said that people in affliction ought
+not to be left to themselves.
+
+After some days the violence of their grief settled into melancholy
+sadness: they ceased to speak of him whom they had loved and lost, and
+they felt as if they could never talk of him again.
+
+The unfortunate family of Mr. Allerton now began to consider what they
+should do for their support. Constance was willing to share with them
+her little income even to the last farthing, but it was too small to
+enable them all to live on it with comfort. Great indeed are the
+sufferings, the unacknowledged and unimagined sufferings of that class
+who "cannot dig, and to beg are ashamed"--whose children have been
+nursed in the lap of affluence, and who "every night have slept with
+soft content about their heads"--who still retain a vivid recollection
+of happier times, and who still feel that they themselves are the same,
+though all is changed around them.
+
+Such was the condition of the Allerton family. "The world was all before
+them where to choose," and so low were now their finances, that it was
+necessary they should think and act promptly, and decide at once upon
+some plan for their subsistence. Constance proposed a school, but the
+house they now occupied was in too remote a place to expect any success.
+A lady had already attempted establishing a seminary in the immediate
+neighbourhood, but it had proved an entire failure. Mrs. Allerton
+thought that in a better part of the town, and in a larger house, they
+might have a fair chance of encouragement. But they were now destitute
+of the means of defraying the expense of a removal, and of purchasing
+such articles of furniture as would be indispensably necessary in a more
+commodious dwelling; particularly if fitted up as a school.
+
+Frederick Allerton, who was twelve years old, had just completed his
+last quarter at the excellent academy in which he had been a pupil from
+early childhood, and it was now found necessary, after paying the bill,
+to take him away; as the present situation of the family did not seem to
+warrant them in continuing him there any longer. He was, however, very
+forward in all his acquirements, having an excellent capacity, and being
+extremely diligent. Still it was hard that so promising a boy should be
+obliged to stop short, when in a fair way of becoming an extraordinary
+proficient in the principal branches appertaining to what is considered
+an excellent education. Fortunately, however, a place was obtained for
+him in a highly respectable book-store.
+
+There was now a general retrenchment in the expenditures of the Allerton
+family. One of their servants was discharged, as they could no longer
+afford to keep two--and they were obliged to endure many privations
+which were but ill compensated by the idea that they were wearing very
+genteel mourning. Again, as they had begun with black, it was necessary
+to go through with it. They could not wear their bombazines continually,
+and as black ginghams and chintzes are always spoiled by washing, it was
+thought better that their common dresses should be of Canton crape, an
+article that, though very durable, is at first of no trifling cost.
+
+In the mean time, their only resource seemed to be that of literally
+supporting themselves by the work of their hands. Constance undertook
+the painful task of going round among their acquaintances, and
+announcing their readiness to undertake any sort of needle-work that was
+offered to them. Nobody had any work to put out just then. Some promised
+not to forget them when they had. Others said they were already suited
+with seamstresses. At this time the Ladies' Depository was not in
+existence; that excellent establishment, where the feelings of the
+industrious indigent who have seen better days are so delicately spared
+by the secrecy with which its operations are conducted.
+
+At length a piece of linen was sent to the Allerton family for the
+purpose of being made up by them into shirts. And so great was their joy
+at the prospect of getting a little money, that it almost absorbed the
+painful feelings with which for the first time they employed their
+needles in really working for their living.
+
+They all sewed assiduously, little Louisa doing the easiest parts. The
+linen was soon made up, and they then obtained another piece, and
+afterwards some muslin work. Constance, who was one of the most
+indefatigable of women, found time occasionally to copy music, and
+correct proof-sheets, and to do many other things by which she was able
+to add a little more to the general fund. For a short time, her not
+appearing in black excited much conversation among the acquaintances of
+the family: but these discussions soon subsided, and after a while
+nothing more was said or thought on the subject.
+
+But to pay for the mourning of Mrs. Allerton and her children was a
+necessity that pressed heavily on them all, and they dreaded the sound
+of the door-bell, lest it should be followed by the presentation of the
+bills. The bills came, and were found to be considerably larger than was
+anticipated. Yet they were paid in the course of the winter, though with
+much difficulty, and at the expense of much comfort. The unfortunate
+Allertons rose early and sat up late, kept scanty fires and a very
+humble table, and rarely went out of the house, except to church, or to
+take a little air and exercise at the close of the afternoon.
+
+Most of their friends dropped off, and the few that seemed disposed to
+continue their acquaintance with people whose extreme indigence was no
+secret, were so thoughtless as to make their visits in the morning, a
+time which is never convenient to families that cannot afford to be
+idle. Mrs. Bladen, who, though frivolous and inconsiderate, was really a
+good-natured woman, came frequently to see them; and another of their
+visiters was Mrs. Craycroft, whose chief incentive was curiosity to see
+how the Allertons were going on, and a love of dictation which induced
+her frequently to favour them with what she considered salutary counsel.
+Mrs. Craycroft was a hard, cold, heartless woman, who by dint of the
+closest economy had helped her husband to amass a large fortune, and
+they now had every sort of luxury at their command. The Craycrofts as
+well as the Bladens had formerly been neighbours of Mr. and Mrs.
+Allerton.
+
+Mrs. Bladen and Mrs. Craycroft happened to meet one morning in Mrs.
+Allerton's little sitting-room. Mrs. Craycroft came in last, and Mrs.
+Bladen, after stopping for a few minutes, pursued her discourse with her
+usual volubility. It was on the subject of Mrs. Allerton and her
+daughter getting new pelisses, or coats as they are more commonly called
+in Philadelphia.
+
+"I can assure you," said she, "now that the weather has become so cold,
+people talk about your going to church in those three-cornered
+cloth-shawls, which you know are only single, and were merely intended
+for autumn and spring. They did very well when you first got them (for
+the weather was then mild), but the season is now too far advanced to
+wear shawls of any sort. You know everybody gets their new coats by
+Christmas, and it is now after New-Year's."
+
+"We would be very glad to have coats," replied Mrs. Allerton, "but they
+are too expensive."
+
+"Not so very," answered Mrs. Bladen. "To be sure, fine black cloth or
+cassimere is the most fashionable for mourning coats. But many very
+genteel people wear black levantine or black mode trimmed with crape.
+Handsome silk coats would scarcely cost above twenty or twenty-five
+dollars apiece."
+
+"We cannot afford them," said Mrs. Allerton. "We must only refrain from
+going out when the weather is very cold. I acknowledge that our shawls
+are not sufficiently warm."
+
+"Did you not all get new olive-coloured silk coats, just before Mr.
+Allerton died?" inquired Mrs. Craycroft.
+
+The abrupt mention of a name which they had long since found it almost
+impossible to utter, brought tears into the eyes of the whole family.
+There was a general silence, and Mrs. Bladen rose to depart, saying, "I
+would recommend to you to get the coats as soon as possible, or the
+winter will be over without them. And I can assure you as a friend, that
+people do make their remarks. I am going into Second street; shall I
+look among the best stores for some black levantine? or would you rather
+have mode? But I had best bring you patterns of both: and shall I call
+on Miss Facings and bespeak her to make the coats for you?"
+
+"We thank you much," replied Mrs. Allerton, "but we will not give you
+the trouble either to look for the silk, or to engage the mantua-maker.
+We must for this winter dispense with new coats."
+
+Mrs. Bladen then took her leave, saying, "Well, do as you please, but
+people think it very strange that you should be still wearing your
+shawls, now that the cold weather has set in."
+
+Constance was glad that Mrs. Bladen had not in this instance carried
+her point. But she grieved to think that her sister and nieces could not
+have the comfort of wearing their coats because the olive-colour did not
+comport with their mourning bonnets. For herself, having made no attempt
+at mourning, Constance had no scruple as to appearing in hers.
+
+When Mrs. Bladen was gone, Mrs. Craycroft spoke again, and said, "I
+wonder how people can be so inconsiderate! But Mrs. Bladen never could
+see things in their proper light. She ought to be ashamed of giving you
+such advice. Now, I would recommend to you to have your olive silk coats
+ripped apart, and dyed black, and then you can make them up again
+yourselves. You know that if you were not in mourning, you might wear
+them as they are; but as you have begun with black, I suppose it would
+never do to be seen in coloured things also."
+
+"I believe," replied Mrs. Allerton, "there is generally much trouble in
+getting articles dyed--at least in this city, and that they are
+frequently spoiled in the process."
+
+"Your informants," said Mrs. Craycroft, "must have been peculiarly
+unlucky in their dyers. I can recommend you to Mr. Copperas, who does
+things beautifully, so that they look quite as good as new. He dyes for
+Mrs. Narrowskirt and for Mrs. Dingy. I advise you by all means to send
+your coats to him. And no doubt you have many other things, now lying by
+as useless, that would be serviceable if dyed black."
+
+"I believe I will take your advice," answered Mrs. Allerton.
+
+Mrs. Craycroft then proceeded: "Situated as you are, Mrs. Allerton, I
+need not say how much it behooves you to economize in everything you
+possibly can; now for instance, I would suggest to you all to drink rye
+coffee. And then as to tea, if you _must_ have tea of an evening, I know
+a place where you can get it as low as half a dollar a pound--to be sure
+it is only Hyson Skin. In _your_ family a pound of tea ought to go a
+great way, for now, of course, you do not make it strong. And then, I
+would advise you all to accustom yourselves to brown sugar in your tea;
+it is nothing when you are used to it. Of course you always take it in
+your coffee. And there is a baker not far off, that makes large loaves
+of rye and Indian mixed. You will find it much cheaper than wheat. Of
+course you are not so extravagant as to eat fresh bread. And as to
+butter, if you cannot dispense with it altogether, I would suggest that
+you should use the potted butter from the grocery stores. Some of it is
+excellent. I suppose that of course you have entirely given up all
+kinds of desserts, but if you should wish for anything of the kind on
+Sundays, or after a cold dinner, you will find plain boiled rice
+sweetened with a very little molasses, almost as good as a pudding. No
+doubt the children will like it quite as well. You know, I suppose, that
+if you defer going to market till near twelve o'clock you will always
+get things much cheaper than if you go in the early part of the day; as
+towards noon the market people are impatient to get home, and in their
+hurry to be off, will sell for almost nothing whatever they may chance
+to have left. In buying wood, let me recommend to you always to get it
+as green as possible. To be sure green wood does not always make so good
+a fire as that which is dry, neither does it kindle so well; but then
+the slower it burns the longer it lasts, and it is therefore the
+cheapest. And always get gum back-logs, for they scarcely burn at all. I
+see you still keep your black woman Lucy. Now you will find it much
+better to dismiss her, and take a bound girl about twelve or thirteen.
+Then you know you would have no wages to pay, and your daughters, of
+course, would not mind helping her with the work."
+
+During this harangue, the colour came into Mrs. Allerton's face, and she
+was about to answer in a manner that showed how acutely she was wounded
+by the unfeeling impertinence of the speaker: but glancing at Constance
+she saw something in her countenance that resembled a smile, and
+perceived that she seemed rather amused than angry. Therefore Mrs.
+Allerton suppressed her resentment, and made no reply.
+
+When Mrs. Craycroft had departed, the mother and daughters warmly
+deprecated her rudeness and insolence; but Constance, being by nature
+very susceptible of the ridiculous, was much more inclined to laugh, and
+succeeded in inducing her sister and the girls to regard it in the same
+light that she did.
+
+"After all," said Mrs. Allerton, "I think we will take Mrs. Craycroft's
+advice about the dyeing. The olive coats may thus be turned to very good
+account, and so may several other things of which we cannot now make use
+because of their colour. It is true, that we can ill afford even the
+expense of dyeing them; but still we are really very much in want of
+such coats as we may wear in mourning."
+
+Next day, the olive pelisses, which were very pretty and extremely well
+made, were carefully ripped apart, and the silk was conveyed to the
+dyer's, together with a small scarlet Canton crape shawl of Mrs.
+Allerton's, which she thought would be convenient in cold weather to
+wear over her shoulders when at home. The _materiel_ of the dismembered
+coats was rolled up in as small a compass as possible, wrapped in
+papers, and carried one afternoon by Isabella and Helen. Mr. Copperas
+informed them that he only dyed on Thursdays, and as this was Friday
+afternoon, they had come a day too late to have the things done that
+week. Therefore the articles could not be put into the dye before next
+Thursday, and then it would be another week before they could be
+dressed. Dressing, in the dyer's phraseology, means stiffening and
+ironing; and very frequently ironing only.
+
+This delay was extremely inconvenient, as Mrs. Allerton and her
+daughters were absolutely very much in need of the coats; yet there was
+no remedy but patience. At the appointed time, two of the girls went to
+bring home the silk, but were told by a small-featured, mild-spoken
+Quaker woman, employed to attend the customers, that "the things were
+dyed but not yet dressed."
+
+"Will they be finished by to-morrow afternoon?" asked Isabella.
+
+"I rather think they will not."
+
+"By Saturday, then?"
+
+"It's likely they will."
+
+On Saturday, the girls went again. Still the articles, though dyed, were
+not yet dressed: but they were promised for Tuesday--if nothing happened
+to prevent.
+
+Every few days, for near a fortnight, some of the Allerton family
+repaired to the dyer's (and it was a very long walk) but without any
+success--the things, though always dyed, were never dressed. And when
+they expressed their disappointment, the Quaker woman regularly told
+them: "Thee knows I did not say positive--we should never be too certain
+of anything."
+
+Finally, the silk was acknowledged to be dressed, and it was produced
+and paid for; but the crape shawl was missing. A search was made for it,
+but in vain; still the woman assured them that it could not be lost, as
+nothing ever _was_ lost in James Copperas's house, adding: "I partly
+promise thee, that if I live, I will find it for thee by to-morrow."
+
+Next day, when she had done sewing, little Louisa went again for the
+shawl. The woman now confessed that she had not been able to find it,
+and said to Louisa: "I think, child, I would not advise thee to trouble
+thyself to come after it again. It seems a pity to wear out thy shoes
+too much. One should not be too certain of anything in this life, and
+therefore I am not free to say that thy shawl is lost; but it seems to
+me likely that it will never be found."
+
+"My mother will be sorry," said Louisa, "for she really wants the shawl,
+and will regret to lose it."
+
+The little girl then turned to depart, and had reached the front door
+when the woman called her back, saying: "But thee'll pay for the
+dyeing?"[86]
+
+[Footnote 86: Fact.]
+
+"What!" exclaimed Louisa, "after you have lost the shawl?"
+
+"But I can assure thee it _was_ dyed," replied the woman. "It actually
+_was_ dyed, I can speak positive to that, and we cannot afford to lose
+the dyeing."
+
+Louisa, child as she was, had acuteness enough to perceive the intended
+imposition, and, without making an answer, she slipped out of the door:
+though the woman caught her by the skirt, and attempted to stop her,
+repeating: "But we can't afford to lose the dyeing."
+
+Louisa, however, disengaged herself from her grasp, and ran down the
+street, for some distance, as fast as possible--afraid to look back lest
+the Quaker woman should be coming after her for the money she had
+brought to pay for the shawl, and which she took care to hold tightly in
+her hand.
+
+In attempting to make up the coats, it was found impossible to put the
+different pieces together to the same advantage as before. Also, the
+silk did not look well, being dyed of a dull brownish black, and
+stiffened to the consistence of paper. The skirts and sleeves had shrunk
+much in dyeing, and the pieces that composed the bodies had been
+ravelled, frayed, and pulled so crooked in dressing, that they had lost
+nearly all shape. It was impossible to make up the deficiencies by
+matching the silk with new, as none was to be found that bore sufficient
+resemblance to it. "Ah!" thought Constance, "how well these coats looked
+when in their original state! The shade of olive was so beautiful, the
+silk so soft and glossy, and they fitted so perfectly well."
+
+When put together under all these disadvantages, the coats looked so
+badly that the girls were at first unwilling to wear them, except in
+extreme cold weather--particularly as in coming out of church they
+overheard whispers among the ladies in the crowd, of "That's a dyed
+silk"--"Any one may see that those coats have been dyed."
+
+They trimmed them with crape, in hopes of making them look better; but
+the crape wore out almost immediately, and in fact it had to be taken
+off before the final close of the cold weather.
+
+Spring came at last, and the Allerton family, having struggled through a
+melancholy and comfortless winter, had taken a larger house in a better
+part of the town, and made arrangements for commencing their school, in
+which Constance was to be chief instructress. Isabella and Helen, whose
+ages were sixteen and fourteen, were to assist in teaching some
+branches, but to continue receiving lessons in others. Louisa was to be
+one of the pupils.
+
+About a fortnight before their intended removal to their new residence,
+one afternoon when none of the family were at home, except Constance,
+she was surprised by the visit of a friend from New Bedford, a young
+gentleman who had been absent three years on a whaling voyage, in a ship
+in which he had the chief interest, his father being owner of several
+vessels in that line.
+
+Edmund Lessingham was an admirer of ladies generally: but during his
+long voyage he found by his thinking incessantly of Constance, and not
+at all of any other female, that he was undoubtedly in love with her; a
+fact which he had not suspected till the last point of Massachusetts
+faded from his view. He resolved to improve his intimacy with our
+heroine, should he find her still at liberty, on his return to New
+Bedford; and if he perceived a probability of success, to make her at
+once an offer of his hand. When Lessingham came home, he was much
+disappointed to hear that Constance Allerton had been living for more
+than a twelvemonth in Philadelphia. However, he lost no time in coming
+on to see her.
+
+When he was shown into the parlour, she was sitting with her head bent
+over her work. She started up on being accosted by his well-remembered
+voice. Not having heard of the death of her brother, and not seeing her
+in mourning, Edmund Lessingham was at a loss to account for the tears
+that filled her eyes, and for the emotion that suffocated her voice when
+she attempted to reply to his warm expressions of delight at seeing her
+again. He perceived that she was thinner and paler than when he had last
+seen her, and he feared that all was not right. She signed to him to sit
+down, and was endeavouring to compose herself, when Mrs. Craycroft was
+shown into the room. That lady stared with surprise at seeing a very
+handsome young gentleman with Constance, who hastily wiped her eyes and
+introduced Mr. Lessingham.
+
+Mrs. Craycroft took a seat, and producing two or three morning caps from
+her reticule, she said in her usual loud voice, "Miss Allerton, I have
+brought these caps for you to alter--I wish you to do them immediately,
+that they may be washed next week. I find the borders rather too broad,
+and the headpieces too large (though to be sure I did cut them out
+myself), so I want you to rip them apart, and make the headpieces
+smaller, and the borders narrower, and then whip them and sew them on
+again. I was out the other day when you sent home my husband's shirts
+with the bill, but when you have done the caps I will pay you for all
+together. What will you charge for making a dozen aprons of bird's eye
+diaper for my little Anna? You must not ask much, for I want them quite
+plain--mere bibs--they are always the best for babies. Unless you will
+do them very cheap, I may as well make them myself."
+
+The face of Lessingham became scarlet, and, starting from his chair, he
+traversed the room in manifest perturbation; sympathizing with what he
+supposed to be the confusion and mortification of Constance, and
+regretting that the sex of Mrs. Craycroft prevented him from knocking
+her down.
+
+Constance, however, rallied, replying with apparent composure to Mrs.
+Craycroft on the points in question, and calmly settling the bargain for
+the bird's-eye aprons--she knew that it is only in the eyes of the
+vulgar-minded and the foolish that a woman is degraded by exerting her
+ingenuity or her talents as a means of support.
+
+"Well," said Mrs. Craycroft, "you may send for the aprons to-morrow, and
+I wish you to hurry with them as fast as you can--when I give out work,
+I never like it to be kept long on hand. I will pay you for the other
+things when the aprons are done."
+
+Mrs. Craycroft then took her leave, and Constance turned to the window
+to conceal from Lessingham the tears that in spite of her self-command
+were now stealing down her cheeks.
+
+Lessingham hastily went up to her, and taking her hand, he said, with
+much feeling: "Dear Constance--Miss Allerton I mean--what has happened
+during my absence? Why do I see you thus? But I fear that I distress you
+by inquiring. I perceive that you are not happy--that you have suffered
+much, and that your circumstances are changed. Can I do nothing to
+console you or to improve your situation? Let me at once have a right to
+do so--let me persuade you to unite your fate with mine, and put an end,
+I hope for ever, to these unmerited, these intolerable humiliations."
+
+"No, Mr. Lessingham," said Constance, deeply affected, "I will not take
+advantage of the generous impulse that has led you thus suddenly to make
+an offer, which, perhaps, in a calmer moment, and on cooler
+consideration, you may think of with regret."
+
+"Regret!" exclaimed Lessingham, pressing her hand between both of his,
+and surveying her with a look of the fondest admiration, "dearest
+Constance, how little you know your own value--how little you suppose
+that during our long separation--"
+
+Here he was interrupted in his impassioned address by the entrance of
+Mrs. Allerton and her daughters. Constance hastily withdrew her hand and
+presented him as Mr. Lessingham, a friend of hers from New Bedford.
+
+Being much agitated, she in a few minutes retired to compose herself in
+her own apartment. The girls soon after withdrew, and Lessingham,
+frankly informing Mrs. Allerton that he was much and seriously
+interested in her sister-in-law, begged to know some particulars of her
+present condition.
+
+Mrs. Allerton, who felt it impossible to regard Mr. Lessingham as a
+stranger, gave him a brief outline of the circumstances of Constance's
+residence with them, and spoke of her as the guardian-angel of the
+family. "She is not only," said her sister-in-law, "one of the most
+amiable and affectionate, but also one of the most sensible and
+judicious of women. Never, never have we in any instance acted contrary
+to her advice, without eventually finding cause to regret that we did
+so." And Mrs. Allerton could not forbear casting her eyes over her
+mourning dress.
+
+Lessingham, though the praises of Constance were music in his ears, had
+tact enough to take his leave, fearing that his visit was interfering
+with the tea-hour of the family.
+
+Next morning, the weather was so mild as to enable them to sit up stairs
+with their sewing; for latterly, the state of their fuel had not allowed
+them to keep fire except in the parlour and kitchen. Lessingham called
+and inquired for Constance. She came down, and saw him alone. He
+renewed, in explicit terms, the offer he had so abruptly made her on
+the preceding afternoon. Constance, whose heart had been with Lessingham
+during the whole of his long absence, had a severe struggle before she
+could bring herself to insist on their union being postponed for at
+least two years: during which time she wished, for the sake of the
+family, to remain with them, and get the school firmly established; her
+nieces, meanwhile, completing their education, and acquiring, under her
+guidance, a proficiency in the routine of teaching.
+
+"But surely," said Lessingham, "you understand that I wish you to make
+over to your sister-in-law the whole of your aunt Ilford's legacy? You
+shall bring me nothing but your invaluable self."
+
+Though grateful for the generosity and disinterestedness of her lover,
+Constance knew that the interest of her ten thousand dollars was, of
+course, not sufficient to support Mrs. Allerton and her children without
+some other source of income; and she was convinced that they would never
+consent to become pensioners on Lessingham's bounty, kind and liberal as
+he was. She therefore adhered to her determination of remaining with her
+sister and nieces till she had seen them fairly afloat, and till she
+could leave them in a prosperous condition. And Lessingham was obliged
+to yield to her conviction that she was acting rightly, and to consent
+that the completion of his happiness should accordingly be deferred for
+two years.
+
+He remained in Philadelphia till he had seen the Allerton family
+established in their new habitation, and he managed with much delicacy
+to aid them in the expenses of fitting it up.
+
+The school was commenced with a much larger number of pupils than had
+been anticipated. It increased rapidly under the judicious
+superintendence of Constance: and in the course of two years she had
+rendered Isabella and Helen so capable of filling her place, that all
+the parents were perfectly satisfied to continue their children with
+them. At the end of that time, Lessingham (who, in the interval, had
+made frequent visits to Philadelphia) came to claim the promised hand of
+his Constance. They were married--she having first transferred the whole
+of her little property to her brother's widow.
+
+At the earnest desire of Lessingham, Mrs. Allerton consented that Louisa
+should live in future with her beloved aunt Constance; and consequently
+the little girl accompanied them to New Bedford.
+
+Mrs. Allerton and her family went on and prospered--her son was
+everything that a parent could wish--her children all married
+advantageously--and happily she has not yet had occasion to put in
+practice her resolution of never again wearing mourning: though
+principle, and not necessity, is the motive which will henceforward
+deter her from complying with that custom.
+
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Pencil Sketches, by Eliza Leslie
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