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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/37356-8.txt b/37356-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..884f5c4 --- /dev/null +++ b/37356-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,912 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Sex-Love, by Edward Carpenter + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Sex-Love + And its Place in a Free Society + +Author: Edward Carpenter + +Release Date: March 16, 2013 [EBook #37356] +Last Updated: Marh 23, 2019 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEX-LOVE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + +SEX-LOVE, + +AND ITS PLACE IN A FREE SOCIETY: (SECOND EDITION) + +BY EDWARD CARPENTER. + +PRICE FOURPENCE. + +MANCHESTER: + +The Labour Press Society Limited, Printers and Publishers + +1894. + + +SEX-LOVE + +The subject of Sex is most difficult to deal with, not only on account +of a certain prudery as well as a natural reticence on the subject, but +doubtless also because the passion itself being so tremendously strong +and occupying such a large part of human thought--and words being so +scanty and inadequate on the subject--everything that _is_ said is +liable to be misunderstood; the most violent inferences are made, and +equivocations surmised, from the simplest remarks; qualified admissions +of liberty are interpreted into recommendations of unbridled licence; +and generally the perspective of literary expression is turned upside +down by the effect of the unfamiliarity of the topic on the reader's +mind. + +There is indeed a vast deal of fetishism in the current treatment of +Sex; and the subject is dealt with as though it lay quite out of line +with any other need or faculty of human nature. Nor can one altogether +be surprised at this when one perceives of what vast import Sex is in +the scheme of things, and how deeply it it has been associated since the +earliest times not only with man's personal impulses but even with his +religious sentiments and ceremonials. + +Next to hunger this is doubtless the most primitive and imperative of +our needs. But in modern civilised life Sex enters probably even more +into _consciousness_ than hunger. For the hunger-needs of the human race +are in the later societies fairly well satisfied, but the sex-desires +are strongly restrained, both by law and custom, from satisfaction--and +so assert themselves all the more in thought. + +To find the place of these desires, their utterance, their control, +their personal import, their social import, is a tremendous problem to +every youth and girl, man and woman. + +There are a few of both sexes, doubtless, who hardly feel the +passion--who have never been "in love," and who experience no strong +sexual appetite--but these are rare. Practically the passion is a +matter of universal experience; and speaking broadly and generally we +may say it is a matter on which it is quite desirable that every adult +at some time or other _should_ have experience--actual and physical, +as well as emotional. There may be exceptions; but, as said, +the sex-instinct lies so deep and is so universal, that for the +understanding of life--of one's own life, of that of others, and of +human nature in general--as well as for the proper development of one's +own capacities, such experience is almost indispensable. + +And here in passing I would say that in the social life of the future +this need will surely be recognised, and not only will young people +be deliberately prepared and instructed for the fulfilment of Sex +when their time comes, but (while there will be no stigma attaching to +voluntary celibacy) the state of enforced celibacy in which vast numbers +of women live to-day will be looked upon as a national wrong, almost as +grievous as that of prostitution--of which latter evil indeed it is in +some degree the counterpart or necessary accompaniment. + +Of course Nature (personifying under this term the more unconscious, +even though human, instincts and forces) takes pretty good care in her +own way that most people should have sexual experience. She has her +own purposes to work out, which in a sense have nothing to do with +the individual--her racial purposes. But she acts in the rough, +with tremendous sweep and power, and with little adjustment to or +consideration for the later developed and more conscious and intelligent +ideals of humanity. The youth, deeply infected with the sex-passion, +suddenly finds himself in the presence of Titanic forces--the Titanic +but sub-conscious forces of his own nature. "In love" he feels a +superhuman strength--and rightly so, for he identifies himself with +cosmic energies and entities, powers that are preparing the future of +the race, and whose operations extend over vast regions of space and +millennial lapses of time. He sees into the abysmal deeps of his own +being, and trembles with a kind of awe at the disclosure. And what he +feels concerning himself he feels similarly concerning the one who has +inspired his passion. The glances of the two lovers penetrate far beyond +the surface, ages down into each other, waking a myriad antenatal +dreams. + +For the moment he lets himself go, rejoicing in the sense of limitless +power beneath him--borne onwards like a man down rapids, too intoxicated +with the glory of motion to think of whither he is going; then the +next moment he discovers that he is being hurried into impossible +situations--situations which his own moral conscience, as well as the +moral conscience of Society, embodied in law and custom, will not admit. +He finds perhaps that the satisfaction of his imperious impulse is, to +all appearances, inconsistent with the welfare of her he loves. His own +passion arises before him as a kind of rude giant which he or the race +to which he belongs may, Frankenstein-like, have created ages back, but +which he now has to dominate or be dominated by; and there declares +itself in him the fiercest conflict--that between his far-back Titanic +instinctive and sub-conscious nature, and his later developed, more +especially human and moral self. + +While the glory of Sex pervades and suffuses all Nature; while the +flowers are rayed and starred out towards the sun in the very ecstasy of +generation; while the nostrils of the animals dilate, and their forms +become instinct, under the passion, with a proud and fiery beauty; +while even the human lover is transformed, and in the great splendors +of the mountains and the sky perceives something to which he had not the +key before--yet it is curious that just here, in Man, we find the magic +wand of Nature suddenly broken, and doubt and conflict and division +entering in, where a kind of unconscious harmony had first prevailed. + +Heine I think says somewhere that the man who loves unsuccessfully knows +himself to be a god. It is not perhaps till the great current of sexual +love is checked and brought into conflict with the other parts of his +being that the whole nature of the man, sexual and moral, under the +tremendous stress rises into consciousness and reveals in fire its +god-like quality. This is the work of the artificer who makes immortal +souls--who out of the natural love evolves even a more perfect love. "In +tutti gli amanti," says Giordano Bruno, "é questo fabro vulcano" ("in +all lovers is this Olympian blacksmith present"). + +It is the subject of this conflict, or at least differentiation, between +the sexual and the more purely moral and social instincts in man which +interests us here. It is clear, I think, that if sex is to be treated +rationally, that is, neither superstitiously on the one hand nor +licentiously on the other, we must be willing to admit that both the +satisfaction of the passion and the non-satisfaction of it are desirable +and beautiful. They both have their results, and man has to reap the +fruits which belong to both experiences. May we not say that there is +probably some sort of transmutation of essences continually effected and +effectible in the human frame? Lust and Love--the _Aphrodite Pandemos_ +and the _Aphrodite Ouranios_--are subtly interchangeable. Perhaps the +corporeal amatory instinct and the ethereal human yearning for personal +union are really and in essence one thing, with diverse forms of +manifestation. However that may be, it is pretty evident that there is +some deep relationship between them. It is a matter of common experience +that the unrestrained outlet of merely physical desire leaves the +nature drained of its higher love-forces; while on the other hand if the +physical satisfaction be denied the body becomes surcharged with waves +of emotion--sometimes to an unhealthy and dangerous degree. Yet at times +this emotional love may, by reason of its expression being checked or +restricted, transform itself into the all-penetrating subtle influence of +spiritual love. + +Marcus Aurelius quotes a saying of Heraclitus to the effect that the +death of earth is to become water (liquefaction), and the death of water +is to become air (evaporation), and the death of air is to become +fire (combustion). So in the human body are there sensual, emotional, +spiritual, and other elements of which it may be said that their death +on one plane means their transformation and new birth on other planes. + +It will readily be seen that I am not arguing that the lower or more +physical manifestations of love should be killed out in order to force +the growth of the more spiritual and enduring forms--because Nature in +her slow evolutions does not generally countenance such high and mighty +methods; but am merely trying to indicate that there are grounds for +believing in the transmutability of the various forms of the passion, +and grounds for thinking that the sacrifice of a lower phase may +sometimes be the only condition on which a higher and more durable phase +can be attained; and that therefore Restraint (which is absolutely +necessary at times) _has_ its compensation. + +Any one who has once realised how glorious a thing Love is in its +essence, and how indestructible, will hardly need to call anything that +leads to it a sacrifice; and he is indeed a master of life who accepting +the grosser desires as they come to his body, and not refusing them, +knows how to transform them at will into the most rare and fragrant +flowers of human emotion. + +Until these subjects are openly put before children and young people +with some degree of intelligent and sympathetic handling, it can +scarcely be expected that anything but the utmost confusion, in mind +and in morals, should reign in matters of Sex. That we should leave our +children to pick up their information about the most sacred, the most +profound and vital, of all human functions, from the mere gutter, and +learn to know it first from the lips of ignorance and vice, seems almost +incredible, and certainly indicates the deeply-rooted unbelief and +uncleanness of our own thoughts. Yet a child at the age of puberty, with +the unfolding of its far-down emotional and sexual nature, is eminently +capable of the most sensitive, affectional, and serene appreciation +of what Sex means (generally more so, as things are to-day, than +its worldling parent or guardian); and can absorb the teaching, if +sympathetically given, without any shock or disturbance to its sense of +shame--that sense which is so natural and valuable a safeguard of early +youth. + +To teach the child first, quite openly, its physical relation to its own +mother, its long indwelling in her body, and the deep and sacred bond of +tenderness between mother and child in consequence; then, after a time, +to explain the work of fatherhood, and how the love of the parents for +each other was the cause of its own (the child's) existence: these +things are easy and natural--at least they are so to the young mind--and +excite in it no surprise, or sense of unfitness, but only gratitude +and a kind of tender wonderment.* Then, later on, as the special sexual +needs and desires develop, to instruct the girl or boy in the further +details of the matter, and the care and right conduct of her or his own +sexual nature; on the meaning and the dangers of solitary indulgence--if +this habit has been contracted; on the need of self-control and +the presence of affection in all relations with others, and (without +asceticism) on the possibility of deflecting physical desire to some +degree into affectional and emotional channels, and the great gain so +resulting: all these are things which an ordinary youth of either sex +will easily understand and appreciate, and which may be of priceless +value, saving such an one from years of struggle in foul morasses, and +waste of precious life-strength. Finally, with the maturity of +the moral nature, the supremacy of the pure human relation should be +taught--not the extinguishment of desire, but the attainment of the real +kernel of it, its dedication to the well-being of another--the evolution +of the _human_ element in love, balancing the natural--till at last the +snatching of an unglad pleasure, regardless of the other from whom it +is snatched, or the surrender of one's body to another, for any reason +except that of love, become things impossible. + + *See Appendix. + +Between lovers then a kind of hardy temperance is much to be +recommended--for all reasons, but especially because it lifts +their satisfaction and delight in each other out of the region of +ephemeralities (which too soon turn to dull indifference and satiety) +into the region of more lasting things--one step nearer at any rate to +the Eternal Kingdom. How intoxicating indeed, how penetrating--like a +most precious wine--is that love which is the sexual transformed by the +magic of the will into the emotional and spiritual! And what a loss +on the merest grounds of prudence and the economy of pleasure is its +unbridled waste along physical channels! So nothing is so much to be +dreaded between lovers as just this--the vulgarisation of love--and this +is the rock upon which marriage so often splits. + +There is a kind of illusion about physical desire similar to that which +a child suffers from when, seeing a beautiful flower, it instantly +snatches the same, and destroys in a few moments the form and fragrance +which attracted it. He only gets the full glory who holds himself back a +little, and truly possesses who is willing if need be not to possess. + +On the other hand it must not be pretended that the physical passions +are by their nature abhorrent, or anything but admirable and desirable +in their place. Any attempt to absolutely disown or despite them, +carried out over long periods either by individuals Or bodies of +people, only ends in the _thinning out_ of the human nature--by the very +consequent stinting of the supply of its growth-material, and is liable +to stultify itself in time by leading to reactionary excesses. It must +never be forgotten that the physical basis throughout life is of the +first importance, and supplies the nutrition and food-stuff without +which the higher powers cannot exist or at least manifest themselves. +Intimacies founded on intellectual and moral affinities alone are seldom +very deep and lasting; if the physical or sexual basis is quite absent, +the acquaintanceship is liable to die away again like an ill-rooted +plant. In many cases (especially of women) the nature is never really +understood or disclosed till the sex-feeling is touched--however +lightly. Besides it must be remembered that in order for a perfect +intimacy between two people their bodies must by the nature of the case +be free to each other. The sexual and bodily intimacy may not be the +object for which they come together; but if it is denied, its denial +will bar any real sense of repose and affiance, and make the relation +restless, vague, tentative and unsatisfied. + +In these lights it will be seen that what we call asceticism and what we +call libertinism are two sides practically of the same shield. So +long as the tendency towards mere pleasure-indulgence is strong and +uncontrolled, so long will the instinct towards asceticism assert +itself--and rightly, else we might speedily find ourselves in headlong +Phaethonian career. Asceticism is in its place (as the word would +indicate) as an _exercise_; but let it not be looked upon as an end in +itself, for that is a mistake of the same kind as going to the opposite +extreme. Certainly if the welfare and happiness of the beloved one were +always really the main purpose in our minds we should have plenty of +occasion for self-control, and an artificial asceticism would not be +needed. We look for a time doubtless when the hostility between these +two parts of man's unperfected nature will be merged in the perfect +love; but at present and until this happens their conflict is certainly +one of the most pregnant things in all our experience; and must not by +any means be blinked or evaded, but boldly faced. It is in itself almost +a sexual act. The mortal nature through it is, so to speak, torn asunder; +and through the rent so made in his mortality does it sometimes happen +that a new and immortal man is born. + +The Sex-act affords the type of all pleasures. The dissatisfaction which +at times follows on it is the same as follows on all pleasure which is +_sought_, and which does not come unsought. The dissatisfaction is not +in the nature of pleasure itself but in the nature of _seeking_. In +consciously surrendering oneself to the pursuit of things external, the +"I" (since it really has everything and needs nothing) deceives itself, +goes out from its true home, tears itself asunder, and admits a gap or +rent in its own being. This is what is meant by _sin_--the separation +or sundering (German _Sünde_) of one's being--and all the pain that +goes therewith. It all consists in _seeking_ those external things and +pleasures; not (a thousand times be it said) in those external things +or pleasures themselves. They are all fair and gracious enough; their +place is to stand round the throne and offer their homage--rank behind +rank in their multitudes--if so be we will accept it. But for us to go +out of ourselves to run after _them_, to allow ourselves to be divided +and rent in twain by _their_ attraction, that is an inversion of the +order of heaven; and in so doing does sin and all suffering enter in. + +Of all pleasures the sexual tempts most strongly to this desertion of +one's true self, and stands as the type of Maya and the world-illusion; +yet the beauty of the loved one and the delight of corporeal union all +turn to dust and ashes if bought at the price of disunion and disloyalty +in the higher spheres--disloyalty even to the person whose mortal love +is sought. The higher and more durable part of man, whirled along in +the rapids and whirlpools of desire, experiences tortures the moment it +comes to recognise that It is something other than physical. Then comes +the struggle to regain its lost Paradise, and the frightful effort +of co-ordination between the two natures, by which the centre of +consciousness is gradually transferred from the fugitive to the more +permanent part, and the mortal and changeable is assigned its due place +in the outer chambers and forecourts of the temple. + +Pleasure should come as the natural (and indeed inevitable) +accompaniment of life, believed in with a kind of free faith, but never +sought as the object of life. It is in the inversion of this order that +the uncleanness of the senses arises. Sex to-day throughout the domains +of civilisation is thoroughly unclean. + +Everywhere it is slimed over with the thought of pleasure. Not for +joy, not for mere delight in and excess of life, not for pride in the +generation of children, not for a symbol and expression of deepest +soul-union, does it exist--but for pleasure. Hence we disown it in our +thoughts, and cover it up with false shame and unbelief--knowing well +that to seek a social act for a private pleasure is a falsehood. The +body itself is kept religiously covered, smothered away from the rush of +the great purifying life of Nature, infected with dirt and disease, and +a subject for prurient thought and exaggerated lust such as in its naked +state it would never provoke. The skin becomes sickly and corrupt, and +of a dead leaden white hue, which strangely enough is supposed to be +more beautiful than the rich rose-brown, delicately shaded into lighter +tints in the less exposed parts, which it would wear if tanned by +daily welcome of sun and wind. Sexual embraces themselves are seldom +sanctified by the glories of Nature, in whose presence alone, under +the burning sun or the high canopy of the stars and surrounded by the +fragrant atmosphere, their meaning can be fully understood: but take +place in stuffy dens of dirty upholstery and are associated with all +unbeautiful things. + +Even literature, which might have been expected to preserve some decent +expression on this topic, reflects all too clearly by its silence or by +its pruriency the prevailing spirit of unbelief; and in order to find +any sane faithful strong and calm words on the subject, one has to wade +right back through the marshes and bogs of civilised scribbledom, and +toil eastward across its arid wastes to the very dawn-hymns of the Aryan +races. + +In one of the Upanishads of the Vedic sacred books (the Brihadaranyaka +Upanishad) there is a very beautiful passage in which instruction is +given to the man who desires a noble son as to the prayers which he +shall offer to the gods on the occasion of congress with his wife. In +primitive simple and serene language it directs him how "when he has +placed his virile member in the body of his wife and joined his mouth to +her mouth" he should pray to the various forms of deity who preside over +the operations of nature: to Vishnu to prepare the womb of the future +mother, to Prajapati to watch over the influx of the semen, and to the +other gods to nourish the foetus, etc. Nothing could be (I am judging +from the only translation I have met with, a Latin one) more composed, +serene, simple and religious in feeling, and well might it be if such +instructions were preserved and followed, even down to the present day; +yet such is the degradation we have come to that actually Max Müller in +his translations of the Sacred Books of the East appears to have been +unable to persuade himself to render this and a few other quite similar +passages into English, but gives them in the original Sanskrit! One +might have thought that as Professor in the University of Oxford, +presumedly _sans peur et sans reproche_, and professedly engaged in +making a translation of these books for students, it was his duty and it +might have been his delight to make intelligible just such passages as +these, which give the pure and pious sentiment of the early world in so +perfect a form; unless indeed he thought the sentiment impure and +impious--in which case we have indeed a measure of the degradation of +the public opinion which must have swayed his mind. As to the only +German translation of the Upanishad which I can find, it baulks at the +same passages in the same feeble way--repeating _nicht zu wiedergeben, +nicht zu wiedergeben_, over and over again, till at last one can but +conclude that the translator is right, and that the simplicity and +sacredness of the feeling is in this our time indeed "not to be +reproduced." + +Our public opinion, our literature, our customs, our laws, are saturated +with the notion of the uncleanness of Sex, and are so making the +conditions of its cleanness more and more difficult. Our children, as +said, have to pick up their intelligence on the subject in the gutter. +Little boys bathing on the outskirts of our towns are hunted down by +idiotic policemen, apparently infuriated by the sight of the naked body, +even of childhood. Lately in one of our northern towns, the boys and men +bathing in a public pool set apart by the corporation for the purpose, +were--though forced to wear some kind of covering--kept till nine +o'clock at night before they were allowed to go into the water--lest in +the full daylight Mrs. Grundy should behold any portion of their bodies! +and as for women and girls their disabilities in the matter are most +serious. + +Till this dirty and dismal sentiment with regard to the human body is +removed there can be little hope of anything like a free and gracious +public life. With the regeneration of our social ideas the whole +conception of Sex as a thing covert and to be ashamed of, marketable and +unclean, will have to be regenerated. That inestimable freedom and pride +which is the basis of all true manhood and womanhood will have to enter +into this most intimate relation to preserve it frank and pure--pure +from the damnable commercialism which buys and sells all human things, +and from the religious hypocrisy which covers and conceals; and a +healthy delight in and cultivation of the body and all its natural +functions and a determination to keep them pure and beautiful, open and +sane and free, will have to become a recognised part of national life. + +Possibly, and indeed probably, as the sentiment of common life and +common interest grows, and the capacity for true companionship increases +with the decrease of self-regarding anxiety, the importance of the +mere sex-act will dwindle till it comes to be regarded as only one very +specialised factor in the full total of human love. There is no doubt +that with the full realisation of affectional union the need of actual +bodily congress loses some of its urgency; and it is not difficult +to see in our present-day social life that the want of the former is +(according to the law of transmutation) one marked cause of the violence +and extravagance of the lower passions. But however things may change +with the further evolution of man, there is no doubt that first of all +the sex-relation must be divested of the sentiment of uncleanness which +surrounds it, and rehabilitated again with a sense almost of religious +consecration; and this means, as I have said, a free people, proud in +the mastery and the divinity of their own lives, and in the beauty and +openness of their own bodies. + +Sex is the allegory of Love in the physical world. It is from this +fact that it derives its immense power. The aim of Love is +non-differentiation--absolute union of being; but absolute union can only +be found at the centre of existence. Therefore whoever has truly found +another has found not only that other, and with that other himself, but +has found also a third--who dwells at the centre and holds the plastic +material of the universe in the palm of his hand, and is a creator of +sensible forms. + +Similarly the aim of sex is union and non-differentiation--but on +the physical plane,--and in the moment when this union is accomplished +creation takes place, and the generation (in the plastic material of the +sex-elements) of sensible forms. + +In the animal and lower human world--and wherever the creature is +incapable of realising the perfect love (which is indeed able to +transform it into a god)--Nature in the purely physical instincts does +the next best thing, that is, she effects a corporeal union and so +generates another creature who by the very process of his generation +shall be one step nearer to the universal soul and the realisation of +the desired end. Nevertheless the moment the other love and all that +goes with it is realised the natural sexual love has to fall into +a secondary place--the lover must stand on his feet and not on his +head--or else the most dire confusions ensue, and torments _ćonian_. + +Taking all together I think it may fairly be said that the prime object +of Sex is _union_, the physical union as the allegory and expression of +the real union, and that generation is a secondary object or result of +this union. If we go to the lowest material expressions of Sex--as among +the protozoic cells--we find that they, the cells, unite together, two +into one; and that, as a result of the nutrition that ensues, this joint +cell after a time (but not always) breaks up by fission into a number of +progeny cells; or if on the other hand we go to the very highest +expression of Sex, in the sentiment of Love, we find the latter takes +the form chiefly and before all else of a desire for union, and only in +lesser degree of a desire for race-propagation. + +I mention this because it probably makes a good deal of difference in +our estimate of Sex whether the one function or the other is considered +primary. There is perhaps a slight tendency among medical and other +authorities to overlook the question of the important physical actions +and reactions, and even corporeal modifications, which may ensue upon +sexual intercourse between two people, and to fix their attention +too exclusively upon their child-bearing function; but in truth it is +probable, I think, from various considerations, that the spermatozoa +pass through the tissues and affect the general body of the female, as +well as that the male absorbs minutest cells _from_ the female; and +that generally, even without the actual Sex-act, there is an interchange +of vital and etherial elements--so that there is a kind of generation +taking place _in each other_, as well as that more specialised +generation which consists in the propagation of the race. + +At the last and taking it as a whole one has the same difficulty in +dealing with the subject of Love which meets one at every turn in +modern life--the monstrous separation of one part of our nature +from another--the way in which--no doubt in the necessary course of +evolution--we have cut ourselves in twain as it were, and assigned +"right" and "wrong," heaven and hell, spiritual and material, and other +violent distinctions, to the separate portions. We have eaten of the +Tree of Knowledge of good and evil with a vengeance! The Lord has indeed +driven us out of Paradise into the domain of that "fabro vulcano" who +with tremendous hammer-strokes must _hammer the knowledge of good and +evil out of us again_. I feel that I owe an apology to the beautiful god +for daring even for a moment to think of dissecting him soul from body, +and for speaking as if these artificial distinctions were in any wise +eternal. Will the man or woman, or race of men and women, never come, +to whom love in its various manifestations shall be from the beginning a +perfect whole, pure and natural, free and standing sanely on its feet? + +APPENDIX. + +"I analysed a flower, I pointed out to her the beauty of colouring, the +gracefulness of shape, the tender shades, the difference between the +parts composing the flowers. Gradually, I told her what these parts were +called. I showed her the pollen, which clung like a beautiful golden +powder to her little rosy fingers. I showed her through the microscope +that this beautiful powder was composed of an infinite number of small +grains. I made her examine the pistil more closely, and I showed her, at +the end of the tube, the ovary, which I called a 'little house full of +very tiny children.' I showed her the pollen glued to the pistil, and I +told her, that when the pollen of one flower, carried away by the wind, +or by the insects, fell on the pistil of another flower, the small +grains died, and a tiny drop of moisture passed through the tube and +entered into the little house where the very tiny children dwelt; that +these tiny children were like small eggs, that in each small egg there +was an almost invisible opening, through which a little of the small +drop passed; that when this drop of pollen mixed with some other +wonderful power in the ovary, that both joined together to give life, +and the eggs developed and became grains or fruit. I have shown her +flowers which had only a pistil and others which had only stamens. I +said to her, smiling, that the pistils were like little mothers, and the +stamens like little fathers of the fruit.... + +"Thus I sowed in this innocent heart and searching mind the seeds of that +delicate science, which degenerates into obscenity, if the mother, +through false shame, leaves the instruction of her child to its +schoolfellows. Let my little girl ask me, if she likes, the much dreaded +question; I will only have to remind her of the botany lessons, simply +adding, the same thing happens to human beings, with this difference, +that what is done unconsciously by the plants, is done consciously by +us; that in a properly arranged society one only unites one's self to +the person one loves.'"--(Translated from "La Revendication des Droits +Féminins," _Shafts_, April 1894, p. 237.) + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Sex-Love, by Edward Carpenter + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEX-LOVE *** + +***** This file should be named 37356-8.txt or 37356-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/3/5/37356/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Sex-Love + And its Place in a Free Society + +Author: Edward Carpenter + +Release Date: March 16, 2013 [EBook #37356] +Last Updated: Marh 23, 2019 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEX-LOVE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + +</pre> + + <div style="height: 8em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + SEX-LOVE, + </h1> + <h3> + AND ITS PLACE IN A FREE SOCIETY: (SECOND EDITION) + </h3> + <h2> + BY EDWARD CARPENTER. + </h2> + <h5> + PRICE FOURPENCE. + </h5> + <h4> + MANCHESTER: + </h4> + <h5> + The Labour Press Society Limited, Printers and Publishers + </h5> + <h3> + 1894. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h1> + SEX-LOVE + </h1> + <p> + The subject of Sex is most difficult to deal with, not only on account of + a certain prudery as well as a natural reticence on the subject, but + doubtless also because the passion itself being so tremendously strong and + occupying such a large part of human thought—and words being so + scanty and inadequate on the subject—everything that <i>is</i> said + is liable to be misunderstood; the most violent inferences are made, and + equivocations surmised, from the simplest remarks; qualified admissions of + liberty are interpreted into recommendations of unbridled licence; and + generally the perspective of literary expression is turned upside down by + the effect of the unfamiliarity of the topic on the reader's mind. + </p> + <p> + There is indeed a vast deal of fetishism in the current treatment of Sex; + and the subject is dealt with as though it lay quite out of line with any + other need or faculty of human nature. Nor can one altogether be surprised + at this when one perceives of what vast import Sex is in the scheme of + things, and how deeply it it has been associated since the earliest times + not only with man's personal impulses but even with his religious + sentiments and ceremonials. + </p> + <p> + Next to hunger this is doubtless the most primitive and imperative of our + needs. But in modern civilised life Sex enters probably even more into <i>consciousness</i> + than hunger. For the hunger-needs of the human race are in the later + societies fairly well satisfied, but the sex-desires are strongly + restrained, both by law and custom, from satisfaction—and so assert + themselves all the more in thought. + </p> + <p> + To find the place of these desires, their utterance, their control, their + personal import, their social import, is a tremendous problem to every + youth and girl, man and woman. + </p> + <p> + There are a few of both sexes, doubtless, who hardly feel the passion—who + have never been "in love," and who experience no strong sexual appetite—but + these are rare. Practically the passion is a matter of universal + experience; and speaking broadly and generally we may say it is a matter + on which it is quite desirable that every adult at some time or other <i>should</i> + have experience—actual and physical, as well as emotional. There may + be exceptions; but, as said, the sex-instinct lies so deep and is so + universal, that for the understanding of life—of one's own life, of + that of others, and of human nature in general—as well as for the + proper development of one's own capacities, such experience is almost + indispensable. + </p> + <p> + And here in passing I would say that in the social life of the future this + need will surely be recognised, and not only will young people be + deliberately prepared and instructed for the fulfilment of Sex when their + time comes, but (while there will be no stigma attaching to voluntary + celibacy) the state of enforced celibacy in which vast numbers of women + live to-day will be looked upon as a national wrong, almost as grievous as + that of prostitution—of which latter evil indeed it is in some + degree the counterpart or necessary accompaniment. + </p> + <p> + Of course Nature (personifying under this term the more unconscious, even + though human, instincts and forces) takes pretty good care in her own way + that most people should have sexual experience. She has her own purposes + to work out, which in a sense have nothing to do with the individual—her + racial purposes. But she acts in the rough, with tremendous sweep and + power, and with little adjustment to or consideration for the later + developed and more conscious and intelligent ideals of humanity. The + youth, deeply infected with the sex-passion, suddenly finds himself in the + presence of Titanic forces—the Titanic but sub-conscious forces of + his own nature. "In love" he feels a superhuman strength—and rightly + so, for he identifies himself with cosmic energies and entities, powers + that are preparing the future of the race, and whose operations extend + over vast regions of space and millennial lapses of time. He sees into the + abysmal deeps of his own being, and trembles with a kind of awe at the + disclosure. And what he feels concerning himself he feels similarly + concerning the one who has inspired his passion. The glances of the two + lovers penetrate far beyond the surface, ages down into each other, waking + a myriad antenatal dreams. + </p> + <p> + For the moment he lets himself go, rejoicing in the sense of limitless + power beneath him—borne onwards like a man down rapids, too + intoxicated with the glory of motion to think of whither he is going; then + the next moment he discovers that he is being hurried into impossible + situations—situations which his own moral conscience, as well as the + moral conscience of Society, embodied in law and custom, will not admit. + He finds perhaps that the satisfaction of his imperious impulse is, to all + appearances, inconsistent with the welfare of her he loves. His own + passion arises before him as a kind of rude giant which he or the race to + which he belongs may, Frankenstein-like, have created ages back, but which + he now has to dominate or be dominated by; and there declares itself in + him the fiercest conflict—that between his far-back Titanic + instinctive and sub-conscious nature, and his later developed, more + especially human and moral self. + </p> + <p> + While the glory of Sex pervades and suffuses all Nature; while the flowers + are rayed and starred out towards the sun in the very ecstasy of + generation; while the nostrils of the animals dilate, and their forms + become instinct, under the passion, with a proud and fiery beauty; while + even the human lover is transformed, and in the great splendors of the + mountains and the sky perceives something to which he had not the key + before—yet it is curious that just here, in Man, we find the magic + wand of Nature suddenly broken, and doubt and conflict and division + entering in, where a kind of unconscious harmony had first prevailed. + </p> + <p> + Heine I think says somewhere that the man who loves unsuccessfully knows + himself to be a god. It is not perhaps till the great current of sexual + love is checked and brought into conflict with the other parts of his + being that the whole nature of the man, sexual and moral, under the + tremendous stress rises into consciousness and reveals in fire its + god-like quality. This is the work of the artificer who makes immortal + souls—who out of the natural love evolves even a more perfect love. + "In tutti gli amanti," says Giordano Bruno, "é questo fabro vulcano" ("in + all lovers is this Olympian blacksmith present"). + </p> + <p> + It is the subject of this conflict, or at least differentiation, between + the sexual and the more purely moral and social instincts in man which + interests us here. It is clear, I think, that if sex is to be treated + rationally, that is, neither superstitiously on the one hand nor + licentiously on the other, we must be willing to admit that both the + satisfaction of the passion and the non-satisfaction of it are desirable + and beautiful. They both have their results, and man has to reap the + fruits which belong to both experiences. May we not say that there is + probably some sort of transmutation of essences continually effected and + effectible in the human frame? Lust and Love—the <i>Aphrodite + Pandemos</i> and the <i>Aphrodite Ouranios</i>—are subtly + interchangeable. Perhaps the corporeal amatory instinct and the ethereal + human yearning for personal union are really and in essence one thing, + with diverse forms of manifestation. However that may be, it is pretty + evident that there is some deep relationship between them. It is a matter + of common experience that the unrestrained outlet of merely physical + desire leaves the nature drained of its higher love-forces; while on the + other hand if the physical satisfaction be denied the body becomes + surcharged with waves of emotion—sometimes to an unhealthy and + dangerous degree. Yet at times this emotional love may, by reason of its + expression being checked or restricted, transform itself into the + all-penetrating subtle influence of spiritual love. + </p> + <p> + Marcus Aurelius quotes a saying of Heraclitus to the effect that the death + of earth is to become water (liquefaction), and the death of water is to + become air (evaporation), and the death of air is to become fire + (combustion). So in the human body are there sensual, emotional, + spiritual, and other elements of which it may be said that their death on + one plane means their transformation and new birth on other planes. + </p> + <p> + It will readily be seen that I am not arguing that the lower or more + physical manifestations of love should be killed out in order to force the + growth of the more spiritual and enduring forms—because Nature in + her slow evolutions does not generally countenance such high and mighty + methods; but am merely trying to indicate that there are grounds for + believing in the transmutability of the various forms of the passion, and + grounds for thinking that the sacrifice of a lower phase may sometimes be + the only condition on which a higher and more durable phase can be + attained; and that therefore Restraint (which is absolutely necessary at + times) <i>has</i> its compensation. + </p> + <p> + Any one who has once realised how glorious a thing Love is in its essence, + and how indestructible, will hardly need to call anything that leads to it + a sacrifice; and he is indeed a master of life who accepting the grosser + desires as they come to his body, and not refusing them, knows how to + transform them at will into the most rare and fragrant flowers of human + emotion. + </p> + <p> + Until these subjects are openly put before children and young people with + some degree of intelligent and sympathetic handling, it can scarcely be + expected that anything but the utmost confusion, in mind and in morals, + should reign in matters of Sex. That we should leave our children to pick + up their information about the most sacred, the most profound and vital, + of all human functions, from the mere gutter, and learn to know it first + from the lips of ignorance and vice, seems almost incredible, and + certainly indicates the deeply-rooted unbelief and uncleanness of our own + thoughts. Yet a child at the age of puberty, with the unfolding of its + far-down emotional and sexual nature, is eminently capable of the most + sensitive, affectional, and serene appreciation of what Sex means + (generally more so, as things are to-day, than its worldling parent or + guardian); and can absorb the teaching, if sympathetically given, without + any shock or disturbance to its sense of shame—that sense which is + so natural and valuable a safeguard of early youth. + </p> + <p> + To teach the child first, quite openly, its physical relation to its own + mother, its long indwelling in her body, and the deep and sacred bond of + tenderness between mother and child in consequence; then, after a time, to + explain the work of fatherhood, and how the love of the parents for each + other was the cause of its own (the child's) existence: these things are + easy and natural—at least they are so to the young mind—and + excite in it no surprise, or sense of unfitness, but only gratitude and a + kind of tender wonderment.* Then, later on, as the special sexual needs + and desires develop, to instruct the girl or boy in the further details of + the matter, and the care and right conduct of her or his own sexual + nature; on the meaning and the dangers of solitary indulgence—if + this habit has been contracted; on the need of self-control and the + presence of affection in all relations with others, and (without + asceticism) on the possibility of deflecting physical desire to some + degree into affectional and emotional channels, and the great gain so + resulting: all these are things which an ordinary youth of either sex will + easily understand and appreciate, and which may be of priceless value, + saving such an one from years of struggle in foul morasses, and waste of + precious life-strength. Finally, with the maturity of the moral nature, + the supremacy of the pure human relation should be taught—not the + extinguishment of desire, but the attainment of the real kernel of it, its + dedication to the well-being of another—the evolution of the <i>human</i> + element in love, balancing the natural—till at last the snatching of + an unglad pleasure, regardless of the other from whom it is snatched, or + the surrender of one's body to another, for any reason except that of + love, become things impossible. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + *See Appendix. +</pre> + <p> + Between lovers then a kind of hardy temperance is much to be recommended—for + all reasons, but especially because it lifts their satisfaction and + delight in each other out of the region of ephemeralities (which too soon + turn to dull indifference and satiety) into the region of more lasting + things—one step nearer at any rate to the Eternal Kingdom. How + intoxicating indeed, how penetrating—like a most precious wine—is + that love which is the sexual transformed by the magic of the will into + the emotional and spiritual! And what a loss on the merest grounds of + prudence and the economy of pleasure is its unbridled waste along physical + channels! So nothing is so much to be dreaded between lovers as just this—the + vulgarisation of love—and this is the rock upon which marriage so + often splits. + </p> + <p> + There is a kind of illusion about physical desire similar to that which a + child suffers from when, seeing a beautiful flower, it instantly snatches + the same, and destroys in a few moments the form and fragrance which + attracted it. He only gets the full glory who holds himself back a little, + and truly possesses who is willing if need be not to possess. + </p> + <p> + On the other hand it must not be pretended that the physical passions are + by their nature abhorrent, or anything but admirable and desirable in + their place. Any attempt to absolutely disown or despite them, carried out + over long periods either by individuals Or bodies of people, only ends in + the <i>thinning out</i> of the human nature—by the very consequent + stinting of the supply of its growth-material, and is liable to stultify + itself in time by leading to reactionary excesses. It must never be + forgotten that the physical basis throughout life is of the first + importance, and supplies the nutrition and food-stuff without which the + higher powers cannot exist or at least manifest themselves. Intimacies + founded on intellectual and moral affinities alone are seldom very deep + and lasting; if the physical or sexual basis is quite absent, the + acquaintanceship is liable to die away again like an ill-rooted plant. In + many cases (especially of women) the nature is never really understood or + disclosed till the sex-feeling is touched—however lightly. Besides + it must be remembered that in order for a perfect intimacy between two + people their bodies must by the nature of the case be free to each other. + The sexual and bodily intimacy may not be the object for which they come + together; but if it is denied, its denial will bar any real sense of + repose and affiance, and make the relation restless, vague, tentative and + unsatisfied. + </p> + <p> + In these lights it will be seen that what we call asceticism and what we + call libertinism are two sides practically of the same shield. So long as + the tendency towards mere pleasure-indulgence is strong and uncontrolled, + so long will the instinct towards asceticism assert itself—and + rightly, else we might speedily find ourselves in headlong Phaethonian + career. Asceticism is in its place (as the word would indicate) as an <i>exercise</i>; + but let it not be looked upon as an end in itself, for that is a mistake + of the same kind as going to the opposite extreme. Certainly if the + welfare and happiness of the beloved one were always really the main + purpose in our minds we should have plenty of occasion for self-control, + and an artificial asceticism would not be needed. We look for a time + doubtless when the hostility between these two parts of man's unperfected + nature will be merged in the perfect love; but at present and until this + happens their conflict is certainly one of the most pregnant things in all + our experience; and must not by any means be blinked or evaded, but boldly + faced. It is in itself almost a sexual act. The mortal nature through it + is, so to speak, torn asunder; and through the rent so made in his + mortality does it sometimes happen that a new and immortal man is born. + </p> + <p> + The Sex-act affords the type of all pleasures. The dissatisfaction which + at times follows on it is the same as follows on all pleasure which is <i>sought</i>, + and which does not come unsought. The dissatisfaction is not in the nature + of pleasure itself but in the nature of <i>seeking</i>. In consciously + surrendering oneself to the pursuit of things external, the "I" (since it + really has everything and needs nothing) deceives itself, goes out from + its true home, tears itself asunder, and admits a gap or rent in its own + being. This is what is meant by <i>sin</i>—the separation or + sundering (German <i>Sünde</i>) of one's being—and all the pain that + goes therewith. It all consists in <i>seeking</i> those external things + and pleasures; not (a thousand times be it said) in those external things + or pleasures themselves. They are all fair and gracious enough; their + place is to stand round the throne and offer their homage—rank + behind rank in their multitudes—if so be we will accept it. But for + us to go out of ourselves to run after <i>them</i>, to allow ourselves to + be divided and rent in twain by <i>their</i> attraction, that is an + inversion of the order of heaven; and in so doing does sin and all + suffering enter in. + </p> + <p> + Of all pleasures the sexual tempts most strongly to this desertion of + one's true self, and stands as the type of Maya and the world-illusion; + yet the beauty of the loved one and the delight of corporeal union all + turn to dust and ashes if bought at the price of disunion and disloyalty + in the higher spheres—disloyalty even to the person whose mortal + love is sought. The higher and more durable part of man, whirled along in + the rapids and whirlpools of desire, experiences tortures the moment it + comes to recognise that It is something other than physical. Then comes + the struggle to regain its lost Paradise, and the frightful effort of + co-ordination between the two natures, by which the centre of + consciousness is gradually transferred from the fugitive to the more + permanent part, and the mortal and changeable is assigned its due place in + the outer chambers and forecourts of the temple. + </p> + <p> + Pleasure should come as the natural (and indeed inevitable) accompaniment + of life, believed in with a kind of free faith, but never sought as the + object of life. It is in the inversion of this order that the uncleanness + of the senses arises. Sex to-day throughout the domains of civilisation is + thoroughly unclean. + </p> + <p> + Everywhere it is slimed over with the thought of pleasure. Not for joy, + not for mere delight in and excess of life, not for pride in the + generation of children, not for a symbol and expression of deepest + soul-union, does it exist—but for pleasure. Hence we disown it in + our thoughts, and cover it up with false shame and unbelief—knowing + well that to seek a social act for a private pleasure is a falsehood. The + body itself is kept religiously covered, smothered away from the rush of + the great purifying life of Nature, infected with dirt and disease, and a + subject for prurient thought and exaggerated lust such as in its naked + state it would never provoke. The skin becomes sickly and corrupt, and of + a dead leaden white hue, which strangely enough is supposed to be more + beautiful than the rich rose-brown, delicately shaded into lighter tints + in the less exposed parts, which it would wear if tanned by daily welcome + of sun and wind. Sexual embraces themselves are seldom sanctified by the + glories of Nature, in whose presence alone, under the burning sun or the + high canopy of the stars and surrounded by the fragrant atmosphere, their + meaning can be fully understood: but take place in stuffy dens of dirty + upholstery and are associated with all unbeautiful things. + </p> + <p> + Even literature, which might have been expected to preserve some decent + expression on this topic, reflects all too clearly by its silence or by + its pruriency the prevailing spirit of unbelief; and in order to find any + sane faithful strong and calm words on the subject, one has to wade right + back through the marshes and bogs of civilised scribbledom, and toil + eastward across its arid wastes to the very dawn-hymns of the Aryan races. + </p> + <p> + In one of the Upanishads of the Vedic sacred books (the Brihadaranyaka + Upanishad) there is a very beautiful passage in which instruction is given + to the man who desires a noble son as to the prayers which he shall offer + to the gods on the occasion of congress with his wife. In primitive simple + and serene language it directs him how "when he has placed his virile + member in the body of his wife and joined his mouth to her mouth" he + should pray to the various forms of deity who preside over the operations + of nature: to Vishnu to prepare the womb of the future mother, to + Prajapati to watch over the influx of the semen, and to the other gods to + nourish the foetus, etc. Nothing could be (I am judging from the only + translation I have met with, a Latin one) more composed, serene, simple + and religious in feeling, and well might it be if such instructions were + preserved and followed, even down to the present day; yet such is the + degradation we have come to that actually Max Müller in his translations + of the Sacred Books of the East appears to have been unable to persuade + himself to render this and a few other quite similar passages into + English, but gives them in the original Sanskrit! One might have thought + that as Professor in the University of Oxford, presumedly <i>sans peur et + sans reproche</i>, and professedly engaged in making a translation of + these books for students, it was his duty and it might have been his + delight to make intelligible just such passages as these, which give the + pure and pious sentiment of the early world in so perfect a form; unless + indeed he thought the sentiment impure and impious—in which case we + have indeed a measure of the degradation of the public opinion which must + have swayed his mind. As to the only German translation of the Upanishad + which I can find, it baulks at the same passages in the same feeble way—repeating + <i>nicht zu wiedergeben, nicht zu wiedergeben</i>, over and over again, + till at last one can but conclude that the translator is right, and that + the simplicity and sacredness of the feeling is in this our time indeed + "not to be reproduced." + </p> + <p> + Our public opinion, our literature, our customs, our laws, are saturated + with the notion of the uncleanness of Sex, and are so making the + conditions of its cleanness more and more difficult. Our children, as + said, have to pick up their intelligence on the subject in the gutter. + Little boys bathing on the outskirts of our towns are hunted down by + idiotic policemen, apparently infuriated by the sight of the naked body, + even of childhood. Lately in one of our northern towns, the boys and men + bathing in a public pool set apart by the corporation for the purpose, + were—though forced to wear some kind of covering—kept till + nine o'clock at night before they were allowed to go into the water—lest + in the full daylight Mrs. Grundy should behold any portion of their + bodies! and as for women and girls their disabilities in the matter are + most serious. + </p> + <p> + Till this dirty and dismal sentiment with regard to the human body is + removed there can be little hope of anything like a free and gracious + public life. With the regeneration of our social ideas the whole + conception of Sex as a thing covert and to be ashamed of, marketable and + unclean, will have to be regenerated. That inestimable freedom and pride + which is the basis of all true manhood and womanhood will have to enter + into this most intimate relation to preserve it frank and pure—pure + from the damnable commercialism which buys and sells all human things, and + from the religious hypocrisy which covers and conceals; and a healthy + delight in and cultivation of the body and all its natural functions and a + determination to keep them pure and beautiful, open and sane and free, + will have to become a recognised part of national life. + </p> + <p> + Possibly, and indeed probably, as the sentiment of common life and common + interest grows, and the capacity for true companionship increases with the + decrease of self-regarding anxiety, the importance of the mere sex-act + will dwindle till it comes to be regarded as only one very specialised + factor in the full total of human love. There is no doubt that with the + full realisation of affectional union the need of actual bodily congress + loses some of its urgency; and it is not difficult to see in our + present-day social life that the want of the former is (according to the + law of transmutation) one marked cause of the violence and extravagance of + the lower passions. But however things may change with the further + evolution of man, there is no doubt that first of all the sex-relation + must be divested of the sentiment of uncleanness which surrounds it, and + rehabilitated again with a sense almost of religious consecration; and + this means, as I have said, a free people, proud in the mastery and the + divinity of their own lives, and in the beauty and openness of their own + bodies. + </p> + <p> + Sex is the allegory of Love in the physical world. It is from this fact + that it derives its immense power. The aim of Love is non-differentiation—absolute + union of being; but absolute union can only be found at the centre of + existence. Therefore whoever has truly found another has found not only + that other, and with that other himself, but has found also a third—who + dwells at the centre and holds the plastic material of the universe in the + palm of his hand, and is a creator of sensible forms. + </p> + <p> + Similarly the aim of sex is union and non-differentiation—but on the + physical plane,—and in the moment when this union is accomplished + creation takes place, and the generation (in the plastic material of the + sex-elements) of sensible forms. + </p> + <p> + In the animal and lower human world—and wherever the creature is + incapable of realising the perfect love (which is indeed able to transform + it into a god)—Nature in the purely physical instincts does the next + best thing, that is, she effects a corporeal union and so generates + another creature who by the very process of his generation shall be one + step nearer to the universal soul and the realisation of the desired end. + Nevertheless the moment the other love and all that goes with it is + realised the natural sexual love has to fall into a secondary place—the + lover must stand on his feet and not on his head—or else the most + dire confusions ensue, and torments <i>ćonian</i>. + </p> + <p> + Taking all together I think it may fairly be said that the prime object of + Sex is <i>union</i>, the physical union as the allegory and expression of + the real union, and that generation is a secondary object or result of + this union. If we go to the lowest material expressions of Sex—as + among the protozoic cells—we find that they, the cells, unite + together, two into one; and that, as a result of the nutrition that + ensues, this joint cell after a time (but not always) breaks up by fission + into a number of progeny cells; or if on the other hand we go to the very + highest expression of Sex, in the sentiment of Love, we find the latter + takes the form chiefly and before all else of a desire for union, and only + in lesser degree of a desire for race-propagation. + </p> + <p> + I mention this because it probably makes a good deal of difference in our + estimate of Sex whether the one function or the other is considered + primary. There is perhaps a slight tendency among medical and other + authorities to overlook the question of the important physical actions and + reactions, and even corporeal modifications, which may ensue upon sexual + intercourse between two people, and to fix their attention too exclusively + upon their child-bearing function; but in truth it is probable, I think, + from various considerations, that the spermatozoa pass through the tissues + and affect the general body of the female, as well as that the male + absorbs minutest cells <i>from</i> the female; and that generally, even + without the actual Sex-act, there is an interchange of vital and etherial + elements—so that there is a kind of generation taking place <i>in + each other</i>, as well as that more specialised generation which consists + in the propagation of the race. + </p> + <p> + At the last and taking it as a whole one has the same difficulty in + dealing with the subject of Love which meets one at every turn in modern + life—the monstrous separation of one part of our nature from another—the + way in which—no doubt in the necessary course of evolution—we + have cut ourselves in twain as it were, and assigned "right" and "wrong," + heaven and hell, spiritual and material, and other violent distinctions, + to the separate portions. We have eaten of the Tree of Knowledge of good + and evil with a vengeance! The Lord has indeed driven us out of Paradise + into the domain of that "fabro vulcano" who with tremendous hammer-strokes + must <i>hammer the knowledge of good and evil out of us again</i>. I feel + that I owe an apology to the beautiful god for daring even for a moment to + think of dissecting him soul from body, and for speaking as if these + artificial distinctions were in any wise eternal. Will the man or woman, + or race of men and women, never come, to whom love in its various + manifestations shall be from the beginning a perfect whole, pure and + natural, free and standing sanely on its feet? + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + APPENDIX. + </h2> + <p> + "I analysed a flower, I pointed out to her the beauty of colouring, the + gracefulness of shape, the tender shades, the difference between the parts + composing the flowers. Gradually, I told her what these parts were called. + I showed her the pollen, which clung like a beautiful golden powder to her + little rosy fingers. I showed her through the microscope that this + beautiful powder was composed of an infinite number of small grains. I + made her examine the pistil more closely, and I showed her, at the end of + the tube, the ovary, which I called a 'little house full of very tiny + children.' I showed her the pollen glued to the pistil, and I told her, + that when the pollen of one flower, carried away by the wind, or by the + insects, fell on the pistil of another flower, the small grains died, and + a tiny drop of moisture passed through the tube and entered into the + little house where the very tiny children dwelt; that these tiny children + were like small eggs, that in each small egg there was an almost invisible + opening, through which a little of the small drop passed; that when this + drop of pollen mixed with some other wonderful power in the ovary, that + both joined together to give life, and the eggs developed and became + grains or fruit. I have shown her flowers which had only a pistil and + others which had only stamens. I said to her, smiling, that the pistils + were like little mothers, and the stamens like little fathers of the + fruit.... + </p> + <p> + "Thus I sowed in this innocent heart and searching mind the seeds of that + delicate science, which degenerates into obscenity, if the mother, through + false shame, leaves the instruction of her child to its schoolfellows. Let + my little girl ask me, if she likes, the much dreaded question; I will + only have to remind her of the botany lessons, simply adding, the same + thing happens to human beings, with this difference, that what is done + unconsciously by the plants, is done consciously by us; that in a properly + arranged society one only unites one's self to the person one loves.'"—(Translated + from "La Revendication des Droits Féminins," <i>Shafts</i>, April 1894, p. + 237.) + </p> + <div style="height: 6em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> +<pre> + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Sex-Love, by Edward Carpenter + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEX-LOVE *** + +***** This file should be named 37356-h.htm or 37356-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/3/5/37356/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Sex = Love + And its Place in a Free Society + +Author: Edward Carpenter + +Release Date: March 16, 2013 [EBook #37356] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEX = LOVE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + + +SEX = LOVE, + +AND ITS PLACE IN A FREE SOCIETY: (SECOND EDITION) + +By Edward Carpenter. + +Price Fourpence. + +Manchester: + +The Labour Press Society Limited, Printers and Publishers + +1894. + + TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: There are several pages missing from + this small book. A serious search was made both online and + in print without another copy found. It seemed worthwhile to + transcribe the book in spite of the missing pages as this is + a startling essay for its date. If any reader should ever + come across an intact print or online copy, kindly inform + Project Gutenberg. DW + + + +SEX = LOVE + +The subject of Sex is most difficult to deal with, not only on account +of a certain prudery as well as a natural reticence on the subject, but +doubtless also because the passion itself being so tremendously strong +and occupying such a large part of human thought--and words being so +scanty and inadequate on the subject--everything that _is_ said is +liable to be misunderstood; the most violent inferences are made, and +equivocations surmised, from the simplest remarks; qualified admissions +of liberty are interpreted into recommendations of unbridled licence; +and generally the perspective of literary expression is turned upside +down by the effect of the unfamiliarity of the topic on the reader's +mind. + +There is indeed a vast deal of fetishism in the current treatment of +Sex; and the subject is dealt with as though it lay quite out of line +with any other need or faculty of human nature. Nor can one altogether +be surprised at this when one perceives of what vast import Sex is in +the scheme of things, and how deeply it it has been associated since the +earliest times not only with man's personal impulses but even with his +religious sentiments and ceremonials. + +Next to hunger this is doubtless the most primitive and imperative of +our needs. But in modern civilised life Sex enters probably even more +into _consciousness_ than hunger. For the hunger-needs of the human race +are in the later societies fairly well satisfied, but the sex-desires +are strongly restrained, both by law and custom, from satisfaction--and +so assert themselves all the more in thought. + +To find the place of these desires, their utterance, their control, +their personal import, their social import, is a tremendous problem to +every youth and girl, man and woman. + +There are a few of both sexes, doubtless, who hardly feel the +passion--who have never been "in love," and who experience no strong +sexual appetite--but these are rare. Practically the passion is a +matter of universal experience; and speaking broadly and generally we +may say it is a matter on which it is quite desirable that every adult +at some time or other _should_ have experience--actual and physical, as +well as emotional. There may be exceptions; but, as said, the +sex-instinct lies so deep and is so universal, that for the +understanding of life--of one's own life, of that of others, and of +human nature in general--as well as for the proper development of one's +own capacities, such experience is almost indispensable. + +While the glory of Sex pervades and suffuses all Nature; while the +flowers are rayed and starred out towards the sun in the very ecstasy of +generation; while the nostrils of the animals dilate, and their forms +become instinct, under the passion, with a proud and fiery beauty; +while even the human lover is transformed, and in the great splendors of +the mountains and the sky perceives something to which he had not the +key before--yet it is curious that just here, in Man, we find the magic +wand of Nature suddenly broken, and doubt and conflict and division +entering in, where a kind of unconscious harmony had erst prevailed. + +Heine I think says somewhere that the man who loves unsuccessfully knows +himself to be a god. It is not perhaps till the great current of sexual +love is checked and brought into conflict with the other parts of his +being that the whole nature of the man, sexual and moral, under the +tremendous stress rises into consciousness and reveals in fire its +god-like quality. This is the work of the artificer who makes immortal +souls--who out of the natural love evolves even a more perfect love. "In +tutti gli amanti," says Giordano Bruno, "e questo fabro vulcano" ("in +all lovers is this Olympian blacksmith present"). + +To teach the child first, quite openly, its physical relation to its own +mother, its long indwelling in her body, and the deep and sacred bond of +tenderness between mother and child in consequence; then, after a time, +to explain the work of fatherhood, and how the love of the parents for +each other was the cause of its own (the child's) existence: these +things are easy and natural--at least they are so to the young mind--and +excite in it no surprise, or sense of unfitness, but only gratitude and +a kind of tender wonderment. Then, later on, as the special sexual +needs and desires develop, to instruct the girl or boy in the further +details of the matter, and the care and right conduct of her or his own +sexual nature; on the meaning and the dangers of solitary indulgence--if +this habit has been contracted; on the need of self-control and the +presence of affection in all relations with others, and (without +asceticism) on the possibility of deflecting physical desire to some +degree into affectional and emotional channels, and the great gain so +resulting: all these are things which an ordinary youth of either sex +will easily understand and appreciate, and which may be of priceless +value, saving such an one from years of struggle in foul morasses, and +waste of precious life-strength. Finally, with the maturity of *See +Appendix. + +The moral nature, the supremacy of the pure human relation should be +taught--not the extinguishment of desire, but the attainment of the real +kernel of it, its dedication to the well-being of another--the evolution +of the _human_ element in love, balancing the natural--till at last the +snatching of an unglad pleasure, regardless of the other from whom it is +snatched, or the surrender of one's body to another, for any reason +except that of love, become things impossible. + +Between lovers then a kind of hardy temperance is much to be +recommended--for all reasons, but especially because it lifts their +satisfaction and delight in each other out of the region of +ephemeralities (which too soon turn to dull indifference and satiety) +into the region of more lasting things--one step nearer at any rate to +the Eternal Kingdom. How intoxicating indeed, how penetrating--like a +most precious wine--is that love which is the sexual transformed by the +magic of the will into the emotional and spiritual! And what a loss on +the merest grounds of prudence and the economy of pleasure is its +unbridled waste along physical channels! So nothing is so much to be +dreaded between lovers as just this--the vulgarisation of love--and this +is the rock upon which marriage so often splits. + +There is a kind of illusion about physical desire similar to that which +a child suffers from when, seeing a beautiful flower, it instantly +snatches the same, and destroys in a few moments the form and fragrance +which attracted it. He only gets the full glory who holds himself back a +little, and truly possesses who is willing if need be not to possess. + +On the other hand it must not be pretended that the physical passions +are by their nature abhorrent, or anything but admirable and desirable +in their place. Any attempt to absolutely disown or despite them, +carried out over long periods either by individuals or bodies of people, +only ends in the _thinning out_ of the human nature--by the very +consequent stinting of the supply of its growth-material, and is liable +to stultify itself in time by leading to reactionary excesses. It must +never be forgotten that the physical basis throughout life is of the +first importance, and supplies the nutrition and food-stuff without +which the higher powers cannot exist or at least manifest themselves. +Intimacies founded on intellectual and moral affinities alone are seldom +very deep and lasting; if the physical or sexual basis is quite absent, +the acquaintanceship is liable to die away again like an ill-rooted +plant. In many cases (especially of women) the nature is never really +understood or disclosed till the sex-feeling is touched--however +lightly. Besides it must be remembered that in order for a perfect +intimacy between two people their bodies must by the nature of the case +be free to each other. The sexual and bodily intimacy may not be the +object for which they come together; but if it is denied, its denial +will bar any real sense of repose and affiance, and make the relation +restless, vague, tentative and unsatisfied. + +In these lights it will be seen that what we call asceticism and what we +call libertinism are two sides practically of the same shield. So +long as the tendency towards mere pleasure-indulgence is strong and +uncontrolled, so long will the instinct towards asceticism assert +itself--and rightly, else we might speedily find ourselves in headlong +Phaethonian career. Asceticism is in its place (as the word would +indicate) as an _exercise_; but let it not be looked upon as an end in +itself, for that is a mistake of the same kind as going to the opposite +extreme. Certainly if the welfare and happiness of the beloved one were +always really the main purpose in our minds we should have plenty of +occasion for self-control, and an artificial asceticism would not be +needed. We look for a time doubtless when the hostility between these +two parts of man's unperfected nature will be merged in the perfect +love; but at present and until this happens their conflict is certainly +one of the most pregnant things in all our experience; and must not by +any means be blinked or evaded, but boldly faced. It is in itself almost +a sexual act. The mortal nature through it is, so to speak, torn +asunder; and through the rent so made in his mortality does it sometimes +happen that a new and immortal man is born. + +The Sex-act affords the type of all pleasures. The dissatisfaction which +at times follows on it is the same as follows on all pleasure which is +_sought,_ and which does not come unsought. The dissatisfaction is not +in the nature of pleasure itself but in the nature of _seeking_. In +consciously surrendering oneself to the pursuit of things external, the +"I" (since it really has everything and needs nothing) deceives itself, +goes out from its true home, tears itself asunder, and admits a gap or +rent in its own being. This is what is meant by _sin_--the separation or +sundering (German _Suende_) of one's being--and all the pain that goes +therewith. It all consists in _seeking_ those external things and +pleasures; not (a thousand times be it said) in those external things or +pleasures themselves. They are all fair and gracious enough; their +place is to stand round the throne and offer their homage--rank behind +rank in their multitudes--if so be we will accept it. But for us to go +out of ourselves to run after _them_, to allow ourselves to be divided +and rent in twain by _their_ attraction, that is an inversion of the +order of heaven; and in so doing does sin and all suffering enter in. + +Of all pleasures the sexual tempts most strongly to this desertion of +one's true self, and stands as the type of Maya and the world-illusion; +yet the beauty of the loved one and the delight of corporeal union all +turn to dust and ashes if bought at the price of disunion and disloyalty +in the higher spheres--disloyalty even to the person whose mortal love +is sought. The higher and more durable part of man, whirled along in the +rapids and whirlpools of desire, experiences tortures the moment it +comes to recognise that. It is something other than physical. Then comes +the struggle to regain its lost Paradise, and the frightful effort of +co-ordination between the two natures, by which the centre of +consciousness is gradually transferred from the fugitive to the more +permanent part, and the mortal and changeable is assigned its due place +in the outer chambers and forecourts of the temple. + +Pleasure should come as the natural (and indeed inevitable) +accompaniment of life, believed in with a kind of free faith, but never +sought as the object of life. It is in the inversion of this order that +the uncleanness of the senses arises. Sex to-day throughout the domains +of civilisation is thoroughly unclean, in the gutter. Little boys +bathing on the outskirts of our towns are hunted down by idiotic +policemen, apparently infuriated by the sight of the naked body, even of +childhood. Lately in one of our northern towns, the boys and men bathing +in a public pool set apart by the corporation for the purpose, +were--though forced to wear some kind of covering--kept till nine +o'clock at night before they were allowed to go into the water--lest in +the full daylight Mrs. Grundy should behold any portion of their bodies +! and as for women and girls their disabilities in the matter are most +serious. + +Till this dirty and dismal sentiment with regard to the human body is +removed there can be little hope of anything like a free and gracious +public life. With the regeneration of our social ideas the whole +conception of Sex as a thing covert and to be ashamed of, marketable and +unclean, will have to be regenerated. That inestimable freedom and pride +which is the basis of all true manhood and womanhood will have to enter +into this most intimate relation to preserve it frank and pure--pure +from the damnable commercialism which buys and sells all human things, +and from the religious hypocrisy which covers and conceals; and a +healthy delight in and cultivation of the body and all its natural +functions and a determination to keep them pure and beautiful, open and +sane and free, will have to become a recognised part of national life. + +Possibly, and indeed probably, as the sentiment of common life and +common interest grows, and the capacity for true companionship increases +with the decrease of self-regarding anxiety, the importance of the +mere sex-act will dwindle till it comes to be regarded as only one very +specialised factor in the full total of human love. There is no doubt +that with the full realisation of affectional union the need of actual +bodily congress loses some of its urgency; and it is not difficult +to see in our present-day social life that the want of the former is +(according to the law of transmutation) one marked cause of the violence +and extravagance of the lower passions. But however things may change +with the further evolution of man, there is no doubt that first of all +the sex-relation must be divested of the sentiment of uncleanness which +surrounds it, and rehabilitated again with a sense almost of religious +consecration; and this means, as I have said, a free people, proud in +the mastery and the divinity of their own lives, and in the beauty and +openness of their own bodies. + +Sex is the allegory of Love in the physical world. It is from this +fact that it derives its immense power. The aim of Love is +non-differentiation--absolute union of being; but absolute union can +only be found at the centre of existence. Therefore whoever has truly +found another has found not only that other, and with that other +himself, but has found also a third--who dwells at the centre and holds +the plastic material of the universe in the palm of his hand, and is a +creator of sensible forms. + +Similarly the aim of sex is union and non-differentiation--but on the +physical plane,--and in the moment when this union is accomplished +creation takes place, and the generation (in the plastic material of the +sex-elements) of sensible forms. + +In the animal and lower human world--and wherever the creature is +incapable of realising the perfect love (which is indeed able to +transform it into a god)--Nature in the purely physical instincts does +the next best thing, that is, she effects a corporeal union and so +generates another creature who by the very process of his generation +shall be one step nearer to the universal soul and the realisation of +the desired end. Nevertheless the moment the other love and all that +goes with it is realised the natural sexual love has to fall into a +secondary place--the lover must stand on his feet and not on his +head--or else the most dire confusions ensue, and torments aeonian. + +Taking all together I think it may fairly be said that the prime object +of Sex is _union_, the physical union as the allegory and expression of +the real union, and that generation is a secondary object or result of +this union. If we go to the lowest material expressions of Sex--as among +the protozoic cells--we find that they, the cells, unite together, two +into one; and that, as a result of the nutrition that ensues, this +joint cell after a time (but not always) breaks up by fission into a +number of progeny cells; or if on the other hand we go to the very +highest expression of Sex, in the sentiment of Love, we find the latter +takes the form chiefly and before all else of a desire for union, and +only in lesser degree of a desire for race-propagation. + +I mention this because it probably makes a good deal of difference in +our estimate of Sex whether the one function or the other is considered +primary. There is perhaps a slight tendency among medical and other +authorities to overlook the question of the important physical actions +and reactions, and even corporeal modifications, which may ensue upon +sexual intercourse between two people, and to fix their attention too +exclusively upon their child-bearing function; but in truth it is +probable, I think, from various considerations, that the spermatozoa +pass through the tissues and affect the general body of the female, as +well as that the male absorbs minutest cells _from_ the female; and that +generally, even without the actual Sex-act, there is an interchange of +vital and etherial elements--so that there is a kind of generation +taking place _in each other_, as well as that more specialised +generation which consists in the propagation of the race. + +At the last and taking it as a whole one has the same difficulty in +dealing with the subject of Love which meets one at every turn in modern +life--the monstrous separation of one part of our nature from another-- +the way in which--no doubt in the necessary course of evolution--we have +cut ourselves in twain as it were, and assigned "right" and "wrong," +heaven and hell, spiritual and material, and other violent distinctions, +to the separate portions. We have eaten of the Tree of Knowledge of good +and evil with a vengeance! The Lord has indeed driven us out of Paradise +into the domain of that "fabro vulcano" who with tremendous hammer- +strokes must _hammer the knowledge of good and evil out of us again_. I +feel that I owe an apology to the beautiful god for daring even for a +moment to think of dissecting him soul from body, and for speaking as if +these artificial distinctions were in any wise eternal. Will the man or +woman, or race of men and women, never come, to whom love in its various +manifestations shall be from the beginning a perfect whole, pure and +natural, free and standing sanely on its feet? + + + + +APPENDIX. + +"I analysed a flower, I pointed out to her the beauty of colouring, the +gracefulness of shape, the tender shades, the difference between the +parts composing the flowers. Gradually, I told her what these parts were +called. I showed her the pollen, which clung like a beautiful golden +powder to her little rosy fingers. I showed her through the microscope +that this beautiful powder was composed of an infinite number of small +grains. I made her examine the pistil more closely, and I showed her, at +the end of the tube, the ovary, which I called a 'little house full of +very tiny children.' I showed her the pollen glued to the pistil, and I +told her, that when the pollen of one flower, carried away by the wind, +or by the insects, fell on the pistil of another flower, the small +grains died, and a tiny drop of moisture passed through the tube and +entered into the little house where the very tiny children dwelt; that +these tiny children were like small eggs, that in each small egg there +was an almost invisible opening, through which a little of the small +drop passed; that when this drop of pollen mixed with some other +wonderful power in the ovary, that both joined together to give life, +and the eggs developed and became grains or fruit. I have shown her +flowers which had only a pistil and others which had only stamens. I +said to her, smiling, that the pistils were like little mothers, and the +stamens like little fathers of the fruit...... Thus I sowed in this +innocent heart and searching mind the seeds of that delicate science, +which degenerates into obscenity, if the mother, through false shame, +leaves the instruction of her child to its schoolfellows. Let my little +girl ask me, if she likes, the much dreaded question; I will only have +to remind her of the botany lessons, simply adding, the same thing +happens to human beings, with this difference, that what is done +unconsciously by the plants, is done consciously by us; that in a +properly arranged society one only unites one's self to the person one +loves.'"--(Translated from "La Revendication des Droits Feminins,O +Shafts, April 1894, p. 237.) + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Sex = Love, by Edward Carpenter + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEX = LOVE *** + +***** This file should be named 37356.txt or 37356.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/3/5/37356/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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