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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/37331-8.txt b/37331-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b295985 --- /dev/null +++ b/37331-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5415 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Notes of a Camp-Follower on the Western +Front, by E. W. Hornung + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Notes of a Camp-Follower on the Western Front + +Author: E. W. Hornung + +Release Date: September 7, 2011 [EBook #37331] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOTES OF A CAMP-FOLLOWER ON *** + + + + +Produced by Suzanne Shell, Steven desJardins, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net +(This file was produced from images generously made +available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +NOTES OF A CAMP-FOLLOWER ON THE WESTERN FRONT + +BY E. W. HORNUNG + +LONDON +CONSTABLE & COMPANY, LTD. +1919 + + + + + To + THE KINDEST MAN + IN THE BOOK + + + + +CONTENTS + PAGE + AN ARK IN THE MUD 11 + UNDER WAY 11 + A HANDFUL OF MEN 20 + SUNDAY ON BOARD 29 + + CHRISTMAS UP THE LINE 39 + UNDER FIRE 39 + CASUALTIES 45 + AN INTERRUPTED LUNCH 53 + CHRISTMAS DAY 57 + THE BABES IN THE TRENCHES 71 + + DETAILS 79 + ORDERLY MEN 79 + THE JOCKS 89 + GUNNERS 102 + THE GUARDS 110 + + A BOY'S GRAVE 121 + + THE REST HUT 141 + FRESH GROUND 141 + OPENING DAY 152 + THE HUT IN BEING 160 + WRITERS AND READERS 170 + WAR AND THE MAN 182 + + 'WE FALL TO RISE' 193 + BEFORE THE STORM 193 + ANOTHER OPENING DAY 201 + THE END OF A BEGINNING 210 + THE ROAD BACK 221 + IN THE DAY OF BATTLE 228 + OTHER OLD FELLOWS 238 + THE REST CAMP--AND AFTER 247 + + + + +AN ARK IN THE MUD + +(_December, 1917._) + + +UNDER WAY + +'There's our hut!' said the young hut-leader, pointing through iron +palings at a couple of toy Noah's Arks built large. 'No--that's the +_nth_ Division's cinema. The Y.M.C.A. is the one beyond.' + +The enclosure behind the palings had been a parade-ground in piping +times; and British squads, from the pink French barracks outside the +gates, still drilled there between banks of sterilised rubbish and +lagoons of unmedicated mud. The place was to become familiar to me under +many aspects. I have known it more than presentable in a clean suit of +snow, and really picturesque with a sharp moon cocked upon some towering +trees, as yet strangely intact. It was at its best, perhaps, as a +nocturne pricked out by a swarm of electric torches, going and coming +along the duck-boards in a grand chain of sparks and flashes. But its +true colours were the wet browns and drabs of that first glimpse in the +December dusk, with the Ark hull down in the mud, and the cinema a +sister ship across her bows. + +The hut-leader ushered me on board with the courtesy of a young +commander inducting an elderly new mate; the difference was that I had +all the ropes to learn, with the possible exception of one he had +already shown me on our way from the local headquarters of the Y.M.C.A. +The battered town was full of English soldiers, to whom indeed it owed +its continued existence on the right side of the Line. In the gathering +twilight, and the deeper shade of beetling ruins, most of them saluted +either my leader's British warm, or my own voluminous trench-coat (with +fleece lining), on the supposition of officers within. Left to myself, I +should have done the wrong thing every time. It is expressly out of +order for a camp-follower to give or take salutes. Yet what is he to do, +when he gets a beauty from one whose boots he is unfit to black? My +leader had been showing me, with a pleasant nod and a genial civilian +gesture, easier to emulate than to acquire. + +In the hut he left me to my own investigations while he was seeing to +his lamps. The round stove in the centre showed a rosy chimney through +the gloom, like a mast in a ship's saloon; and in the two half-lights +the place looked scrupulously swept and garnished for our guests, a +number of whom were already waiting outside for us to open. The trestle +tables, with nothing on them but a dusky polish, might have been +mathematically spaced, each with a pair of forms in perfect parallels, +and nothing else but a piano and an under-sized billiard-table on all +the tidy floor. The usual display of bunting, cheap but cheerful, hung +as banners from the joists, a garish vista from platform to counter. +Behind the counter were the shelves of shimmering goods, biscuits and +candles in open cases on the floor, and as many exits as a scene in a +farce. One door led into our room: an oblong cabin with camp beds for +self and leader, tables covered with American cloth, dust, toilet +requisites, more dust, candle-grease and tea-things, and a stove of its +own in roseate blast like the one down the hut. + +The crew of two orderlies lived along a little passage in their kitchen, +and were now at their tea on packing-cases by the boiler fire. They were +both like Esau hairy men, with very little of the soldier left about +them. Their unlovely beds were the principal pieces of kitchen +furniture. In the kitchen, too, for obscure reasons not for me to +investigate, were the washing arrangements for all hands, and any face +or neck that felt inclined. I had heard a whisper of Officers' Baths in +the vicinity; it came to mind like the tinkle of a brook at these +discoveries. + +At 4.30 the unkempt couple staggered in with the first urn, and I took +my post at the tap. One of them shuffled down the hut to open up; our +young skipper stuck a carriage candle in its grease on the edge of the +counter, over his till, saying he was as short of paraffin as of change; +and into the half-lit gloom marched a horde of determined soldiers, and +so upon the counter and my urn in double file. 'Tea, please, sir!' 'Two +teas!' 'Coop o' tay, plase!' The accents were from every district I had +ever known, and were those of every class, including the one that has no +accent at all. They warmed the blood like a medley of patriotic airs, +and I commenced potman as it were to martial music. + +It was, perhaps, the least skilled labour to be had in France, but that +evening it was none too light. Every single customer began with tea: the +mugs flew through my hands as fast as I could fill them, until my end of +the counter swam in livid pools, and the tilted urn was down to a gentle +dribble. Now was the chance to look twice at the consumers of our +innocuous blend. One had a sheaf of wound-stripes on his sleeve; another +was fresh trench-mud from leathern jerkin (where my view of him began) +to the crown of his shrapnel helmet; many wore the bonnets of a famous +Scotch Division, all were in their habit as they fought; and there they +were waiting for their tea, a long perspective of patient faces, like +school-children at a treat. And here was I, fairly launched upon the +career which a facetious density has summed up as 'pouring out tea and +prayer in equal parts,' and prepared to continue with the first half of +the programme till further orders: the other was less in my line--but I +could have poured out a fairly fluent thanksgiving for the atmosphere of +youth and bravery, and most infectious vitality, which already filled +the hut. + +In the meantime there was much to be learnt from my seasoned neighbour +at the till, and to admire in his happy control of gentlemen on their +way up the Line. Should they want more matches than it suited him to +sell, then want must be their master; did some sly knave appear at the +top of the queue, without having worked his way up past my urn, then it +was: 'I saw you, Jock! Go round and come up in your turn!' Or was it a +man with no change, and was there hardly any in the till?--'Take two +steps to the rear, my friend, and when I have the change I'll serve +you!' When he had the change, the sparks might have flown with it +through his fingers; he was lightning calculator and conjuror in one, +knew the foul franc note of a dubious bank with less than half an eye, +and how to refuse it with equal firmness and good-humour. I hardly knew +whether to feel hurt or flattered at being perpetually 'Mr.' to this +natural martinet, my junior it is true by decades, but a leader I was +already proud to follow and obey. + +In the first lull he deserted me in order to make tea in our room, but +took his with the door open, shouting out the price of aught I had to +sell with an endearing verve, name and prefix included every time. It +made me feel more than ever like the mate of a ship, and anxious to earn +my certificate. + +Then I had _my_ tea--with the door shut--and already an aching back for +part of the fun. For already the whole thing was my idea of fun--the +picnic idea--an old weakness. Huts especially were always near my heart, +and our room in this one reminded me of bush huts adored for their +discomfort in my teens. Of the two I preferred the bush fireside, a +hearth like a powder-closet and blazing logs; but candles in their own +grease-spots were an improvement on the old slush-lamp of moleskin and +mutton-fat. The likeness reached its height in the two sheetless bunks, +but there it ended. Not a sound was a sound ever heard before. The +continual chink of money in the till outside; the movement of many +feet, trained not to shuffle; the constant coughing of men otherwise in +superhuman health; the crude tinkle of the piano at the far end of the +hut--the efficient pounding of the cinema piano--the screw-like throb of +their petrol engine--the periodical bringing-down of their packed house, +no doubt by the ubiquitous Mr. Chaplin! Those were the sounds to which +we took our tea in the state-room of the Ark. She might have been on a +pleasure-trip all the time. + +That first night I remember going back and diving into open cases of +candles, and counting out packets of cigarettes and biscuits, sticks of +chocolate, boxes of matches, and reaching down tinned salmon, sardines, +boot-laces, boot-polish, shaving-soap and tooth-paste, button-sticks, +'sticks of lead' (otherwise pencils), writing-pads, Nosegay Shag, Royal +Seal, or twist if we had it, and shouting for the prices as I went, +coping with the change by light of luck and nature, but doling out the +free stationery with a base lingering relief, until my back was a +hundred and all the silver of the allied realms one composite coin that +danced without jingling in the till. Gold stripes meant nothing to me +now; shrapnel helmets were as high above me as the stars; the only hero +was the man who didn't want change. Often in the early part I thought +the queue was coming to an end; it was always the sign for a fresh +influx; and when the National Anthem came thumping from the cinema, the +original Ark might have sunk under such a boarding-party of thirsty +tea-drinkers as we had still to receive. I noted that they called it tea +regardless of the contents of the urn, which changed first to coffee and +then to cocoa as the night wore on: tea was the generic term. + +At last the smarter and tarter of the two orderlies, he who compounded +the contents of the urns, sidled without ceremony to the commander's +elbow. + +'It wants a minute to the 'alf-hour, sir.' + +Gramophone alone could give the husky tone of chronic injury, palette +and brush the red eyes of resentment turned upon his kind beyond the +counter. Our leader consulted his wrist-watch with a brisk gesture. + +'I'll serve the next six men,' he ultimated, and the seventh man knocked +at his heart in vain. Green curtains closed the counter in the wistful +faces of the rest; if I can see them still, it is the heavenly music of +those curtain-rings that I hear! The mind's eye peeps through once more, +and spies the last gobblers at the splashed tables littered with mugs +and empty tins; the last dawdlers on a floor ankle-deep in the envelopes +of twopenny and half-franc packets of biscuits; and a little man +broom-in-hand at the open door, spoiling to sweep all the lot into +outer darkness. + +In the kitchen, while both orderlies fell straight to work upon this +Augean scene, our versatile leader, as little daunted by the hour, gave +further expression to his personality in an omelette worthy of the +country, and in lashings of Suchard cocoa made with a master hand. I +remember with much gratitude that he also made my yawning bed, and that +we turned in early to the tune of rain: + + A fusillade upon the roof, + A tattoo on the pane. + +Only the pane was canvas, and the fusillade accompanied by some local +music from the guns outside the town. + + +A HANDFUL OF MEN + +As 'the true love-story commences at the altar,' so the real work of a +hut only begins at the counter. You may turn out to be the disguised +prince of salesmen, and yet fail to deliver the goods that really +matter. I am not thinking of 'goody' goods at all, but of the worker's +personality such as it may be. It is not more essential for an actor to +'get across the footlights' than it is for the Y.M.C.A. counter-jumper +to start by clearing that obstacle, and mixing with the men for all he +can show himself to be worth. + +The Ark was such a busy canteen that all this is easier said than it was +done. Every morning we were kept at it as continuously from eleven to +one as ever we were from four-thirty to eight-thirty. Those were our +business hours; and though it was never quite such fierce shopping in +the forenoon, it was then that the leader would go off in quest of fresh +supplies and I was apt to be left in charge. This happened my very first +morning. Shall I ever forget the intimidating multitude of Army boots +seen under the door before we opened! And there was another of the early +days, when the Somersets stormed our parapet in full fighting +paraphernalia, with only me to stand up to them. Not much chance of +foregathering then; but never an hour, seldom a single transaction +within the hour, but brought me from the other side some quaint remark, +some adorable display of patience, courtesy, or homely fun. The change +difficulty was chronic, and mutually most exasperating; it was over that +stile the men were always helping each other or helping me, with never a +trace of the irritation I felt myself. They were the most delightful +customers one could wish to serve. But that made it the more tantalising +to have but a word with them on business. My young chief was once more +my better here; he had only to be behind the counter to 'get across' as +much as he liked, and in as few words. But I required a slack half-hour +when I could take my pipe down the hut and seek out some solitary, or +make overtures to the man at the piano. + +It was generally the man's chum who responded in the first instance; for +every Ĉneas in the new legions has his staunch Achates, who collects the +praise as for the firm, adding his own mite in a beaming whisper. 'He +has his own choir in Edinburgh,' said one Jock of another who was +playing and singing the Scottish songs with urgent power. The piano is +the surest touchstone in a hut. It brings out the man of talent--but +also the bore who hammers with one thick-skinned finger--but also the +prevailing lenience that puts up with the bore. I _have_ been entreated +to keep my piano locked and the key in the till; and once on the counter +I found an anonymous notice, with a line requesting me to affix it to +the instrument without delay: 'If you do play, do play--If you don't +play, don't!' But a pianist of any pretensions has a crowd round him in +a minute; and a splendid little audience it always is. The set concert, +as I heard it, was not a patch on these unpremeditated recitals. + +One night the hut was full of Riflemen, one of whom was strumming away +to his own contentment, but with only the usual trusty chum for +audience. I brought my pipe to the other side of the piano, and the +performer got up and talked across to me for nearly an hour. He was a +dark little garrulous fellow of no distinction, and he talked best with +his eyes upon the keyboard, but the chum's broad grin of eager +admiration never ceased to ply between us. The little Rifleman had borne +a charmed life indeed, especially on Passchendaele Ridge, the scene of +his latest misadventures. He was as idiomatic as Ortheris in his +generation, but I only remember: 'I looked a fair Bairnsfather, not +'alf!' He was the nearest approach to a 'Bairnsfather' I ever +encountered in the flesh, but the compliment to the draughtsman is no +smaller for that. A third Rifleman, less demonstratively uncritical than +the chum, joined the party; and at the end I ventured to ask all three +in turn what they had been doing before the war. + +'I,' said the little man, 'was a house-painter at Crewe.' + +'And I,' said the grinning chum, 'was conductor of a 28 motor-'bus. I +expect we've often dropped you at the Y.M.C.A. in Tottenham Court Road, +sir.' + +'And you?'--I turned to the last comer--'if it isn't a rude question?' + +'Oh, I,' said he, with the pride that would conceal itself, 'I'm in the +building line. But I operate a bioscope at night!' + +The historic present put his attitude in a nutshell. He might have been +operating that bioscope the night before, be due back the next, and just +having a look at things in France on his night off. His expert eye was +not perceptibly impressed with the spectacle of war as he was seeing it +off the films; but the house-painter seemed to be making the most of his +long holiday from house-painting, and my old friend the conductor did +not sigh in my hearing for his 28. + +I took the party back with me to the counter, where they honoured me by +partaking of cocoa and biscuits as my guests. It was all there was to +do for three such hardy and mature philosophers; and I never saw or +heard of them again, long as their cap-badge set me looking for one or +other of their pleasant faces underneath. It was always rather sad when +we had made friends with a man who never came near us again. In times of +heavy fighting it was no wonder, but in the winter it seemed in the +nature of a black mark against the hut. + +There were two other Riflemen who were in that night, and hit me harder +in a softer spot. They were both tragically young, one of them a pretty +boy in a muffler that might have been knitted by any mother in the land. +They were not enjoying their war, these two, but they smiled none the +less as they let it out; they had come in of their own free will, as +soon as ever their tender years allowed, and survived all the carnage of +the Somme and of Passchendaele. They could afford to smile; but they had +also outlived their romantic notions of a war, and were too young to +bear it willingly in any other spirit. They had honest shudders for the +horrors they had seen, and they frankly loathed going back into the mud +or ice of the December trenches. + +'Every time,' said the pretty boy, as they took cocoa with me, 'it seems +worse.' + +'But for the Y.M.C.A.,' said the other, with simple feeling, 'I believe +I should have gone mad.' + +That was something to hear. But what was there to say to such a pair? +One had been a clerk in Huddersfield; the other, a shade less gentle, +but, to equalise the appeal, an only child, foreman of some works in +Derbyshire. Indubitably they were both wishing themselves back in their +old situations; but equally without a doubt they were both still proud +of the act of sacrifice which had brought them to this. The last was the +frame of mind to recall by hook or crook. One can be proud of such boys, +even if their spirit is not all it was, and so perhaps make them prouder +of themselves; the hard case is the man who waited for compulsion, who +has no old embers of loyalty or enterprise to coax into a modest flame. +This type takes a lot of waking up, and yet, like other heavy sleepers, +once awake may do as well as any. + +At the foot of our hut, beyond piano, billiard-table, and platform (only +the case the billiard-table had come in), was the Quiet Room in which +the men were entitled to read and write without interruption. One of +those first nights I peeped in there with my pipe, at a moment of +fourfold psychology. + +In one corner two men were engaged in some form of violent prayer or +intercession; not on their knees, but seated side by side. One, and he +much the younger of the two, appeared to be wrestling for the other's +soul, to be at all but physical grips with some concrete devil of his +inner vision; at any rate he was making a noise that entirely destroyed +the character of our Quiet Room. But the other occupants, so far from +complaining, seemed equally wrapped up in their own affairs, and +oblivious to the pother. The third man was writing a tremendous letter, +at great speed, face and hands and flying pencil strongly lighted by a +candle-end almost under his nose, more shame for our poor lamplight! The +fourth and last of the party, a good-looking Guardsman with a puzzled +frown, poising the pencil of an unready scribe, at once invoked my aid +in another form of literary enterprise. He was making his will in his +field pocket-book; could I tell him how to spell the pretty name of one +of his little daughters? Would I mind looking it all over, and seeing if +it would do? + +'Going up the Line for the first time on Tuesday,' he explained, 'and +it's as well to be prepared.' + +He was perfectly calm about it. He had thought of everything; his wife, +I remember, was to have 'the float and the two horses, to do the best +she can with'; but the little girls were specifically remembered, and +the identity of each clinched by their surname after the one that took +more spelling. A dairyman, I imagined from his mild phlegmatic face; +but it seemed he was the village butcher somewhere in Leicestershire. +His date of enrolment bespoke either the conscript or the eleventh-hour +volunteer, and his sad air made me decide which in my own mind. He had +obviously no stomach for the trenches, but on the other hand he showed +no fear. It was the kind of passive courage I longed to fan into +enthusiasm, but knew I never could. I am glad I had not the impertinence +to try. Two or three weeks later, I found myself serving a delightfully +gay and jaunty Guardsman, in whom I suddenly recognised my friend. + +'Come back all right, then?' I could only say. + +'Rather!' said he, with schoolboy gusto. He was another being; the +trenches themselves had wrought the change. I would not put a V.C. past +that butcher if he is still alive, or past any other tardy patriot for +that matter. Patriotism is a ray of inner light, and may never even come +to a glow of carnal courage; on the other hand, it is the greatest +mistake to impute cowardice to the shirker. Selfishness is oftener the +restraining power, insensibility oftener still. After all, even in the +officer class, it was not everybody who could see that personal +considerations ceased to exist on the day war broke out. This busy +butcher had been a fine man all the time, and not unnaturally taken up +with the price of sheep, the tricks of the weather, the wife and the +little girls. May the float and the two horses yet be his to drive more +furiously than of old! + +A few nights later still, and the pretty ex-clerk was smiling through +his collar of soft muffler across the counter. He, too, had made his +tour without disaster, or as much discomfort as he feared, and so had +his chum the whilom foreman. These reunions were always a delight to me, +sometimes a profound reassurance and relief. But those first three jolly +Riflemen had vanished from my ken, and I wish I knew their fate. + + +SUNDAY ON BOARD + +I see from my diary it was on a Sunday night I found that memorable +quartette so diversely employed in our Quiet Room. So, after all, there +had been something to lead up to the most singular feature of the scene. +Sunday is Sunday in a Y.M.C.A. hut, and in ours it was no more a day of +rest than it is in any regular place of worship; for that is exactly +what we were privileged to provide for a very famous Division whose +headquarters were then in our immediate neighbourhood. + +Overnight the orderlies would work late arranging the chairs +church-fashion, moving the billiard-table, and preparing the platform +for a succession of morning services. These might begin with a +celebration of the Holy Communion at nine, to be followed by a C. of E. +parade service at ten and one for mixed Nonconformists, or possibly for +Presbyterians only, at eleven; the order might be reversed, and the +opening celebration was not inevitable; but the preparations were the +same for all denominations and all degrees of ceremonial. + +In a secular sense the hut was closed all morning. But in our private +precincts those Sabbaths were not so easy to observe. The free forenoon +was too good a chance to count the week's takings, amounting in a busy +canteen like ours to several thousand francs; this took even a quick +hand all his time, what with the small foul notes that first defied the +naked eye, and then fell to shreds between the fingers; and often have I +watched my gay young leader, his confidence ruffled by an alien frown, +slaving like a miser between a cross-fire of stentorian hymns. For the +cinema, ever our rival, was in similar request between the same hours; +and we were lucky if the selfsame hymn, in different keys and stages, +did not smite simultaneously upon either ear. + +On a Sunday afternoon we opened at four instead of half-past, and drove +a profane trade as merrily as in the week until the hut service at +six-thirty. During service the counter was closed; and after service, in +our hut, we drew a firm line at tea and biscuits for what was left of +the working night. + +Neither of ourselves being ordained of any denomination, we as a rule +requisitioned one of the many ministers among the Y.M.C.A. workers in +our district to preach the sermon and offer up the prayers: almost +invariably he was the shepherd of some Nonconformist fold at home, and a +speaker born or made. But the men themselves set matters going, +congregating at the platform end and singing hymns--their favourite +hymns--not many of them mine--for a good half-hour before the pastor was +due to appear. Of course, only a proportion of those present joined in; +but it was a surprising proportion; and the uncritical forbearance of +those who did not take part used to impress me quite as much as the +unflinching fervour of those who did. But then it is not too soon to say +that in all my months in an Army area I never once saw or heard +Religion, in any shape or form, flouted by look or word. + +The hymns were always started by the same man, a spectacled N.C.O. in a +Red Cross unit, with a personality worthy of his stripes. I think he +must have been a street preacher before the war; at any rate he used to +get leave to hold a service of his own on Tuesday evenings, and I have +listened to his sermon more than once. Indeed, it was impossible not to +listen, every rasping word of the uncompromising harangue being more +than audible at our end of the hut, no matter what we were doing. The +man had an astounding flow of spiritual invective, at due distance the +very drum-fire of withering anathema, but sorry stuff of a familiar +order at close range. It was impossible not to respect this red-hot +gospeller, who knew neither fear nor doubt, nor the base art of mincing +words; and he had a strong following among the men, who seemed to enjoy +his onslaughts, whether they took them to heart or not. But I liked him +better on a Sunday evening, when his fiery spirit was content to 'warm +the stage' for some meek minister by a preliminary service of right +hearty song. + +But those ministers were wonders in their way; not a man of them so meek +upon the platform, nor one but had the knack of fluent, pointed, and +courageous speech. They spoke without notes, from the break of the +platform, like tight-sleeved conjurors; and they spoke from their hearts +to many that beat the faster for their words. In that congregation there +were no loath members; only those who liked need sit and listen; the +rest were free to follow their own devices, within certain necessary +limitations. The counter, to be sure, had those green curtains drawn +across it for the nonce. But all at that end of the hut were welcome as +ever to their game of draughts, their cigarettes and newspapers, even +their murmur of conversation. It generally happened, however, that the +murmur died away as the preacher warmed to his work, and the bulk of the +address was followed in attentive silence by all present. I used to +think this a greater than any pulpit triumph ever won; and when it was +all over, and the closing hymn had been sung with redoubled fervour, a +knot of friendly faces would waylay the minister on his passage up the +hut. + +And yet how much of his success was due to the sensitive response of +these simple-hearted, uncomplaining travellers in the valley of Death! +No work of man is easier to criticise than a sermon, no sort of +criticism cheaper or maybe in poorer taste; and yet I have felt, with +all envy of their gift and their sincerity, that even these powerful +preachers were, many of them, missing their great opportunity, missing +the obvious point. Morality was too much their watchword, Sin the too +frequent burden of their eloquence. It is not as sinners that we should +view the men who are fighting for us in the great war against +international sin. They are soldiers of Christ if ever such drew sword; +then let them contemplate the love of Christ, and its human reflex in +their own heroic hearts, not the cleft in the hoof of all who walk this +earth! That, and the grateful love we also bear them, who cannot fight +ourselves, seem to me the gist of war-time Christianity: that, and the +immortality of the soul they may be rendering up at any moment for our +sake and for His. + +It is hateful to think of these great men in the light of their little +sins. What thistledown to weigh against their noble sacrifice! Yet +there are those who expatiate on soldiers' sins as though the same men +had never committed any in their unregenerate civil state, before +putting hand to the redemption of the world; who would charge every +frailty to the war's account, as if vice had not flourished, to common +knowledge and the despair of generations, in idyllic villages untouched +by any previous war, and run like a poisoned vein through all the +culture of our towns. The point is not that the worst has still to be +eradicated out of poor human nature, but that the best as we know it now +is better than the best we dared to dream in happier days. + +Such little sins as they denounce, and ask to be forgiven in the +sinner's name! Bad language, for one; as if the low thoughtless word +should seriously belittle the high deliberate deed! The decencies of +language let us by all manner of means observe, but as decencies, not as +virtues without which a man shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Taste +is the bed-rock of this matter, and what is harmless at one's own +fireside might well empty a public hall and put the police in +possession. To stigmatise mere coarseness of speech as a first-class sin +is to defeat an admirable end by the unwitting importation of a false +yet not unnatural glamour. + +The thing does matter, because the modern soldier is less 'full of +strange oaths' than of certain _façons de parler_ which must not be +suffered to pass into the currency of the village ale-house after the +war. They are base coin, very; but still the primary offence is against +manners, not morals; and public opinion, not pulpit admonition, is the +thing to put it down. + +In a Y.M.C.A. hut the wise worker will not hear very much more than he +is meant to hear; but there are times when only a coward or a fool would +hold his own tongue, and that is when an ounce of tact is worth a ton of +virtue. It is well to consider every minute what the men are going +through, how entirely the refining influence of their womankind has +passed out of their lives, and how noticeably far from impropriety are +the thoughts that clothe themselves in this grotesque and hateful habit +of speech. + +Let me close a tender topic with the last word thereon, as spoken by a +Canadian from Vimy Ridge, who came into my hut (months later, when I had +one of my own) but slightly sober, yet more so than his friends, with +whom remonstrance became imperative. + +'I say! I say!' one had to call down from the counter. 'The language is +getting pretty thick down there!' + +'Beg pardon, sir. Very sorry,' said my least inebriated friend, at once; +then, after a moment's thought--'But the shells is pretty thick where we +come from!' + +It was a better answer than he knew. + + + + +CHRISTMAS UP THE LINE + +(1917) + + +UNDER FIRE + +Soon the shy wintry sun was wearing a veil of frosted silver. The eye of +the moon was on us early in the afternoon, ever a little wider open and +a degree colder in its stare. All one day our mud rang like an anvil to +the tramp of rubicund customers in greatcoats and gloves; and the next +day they came and went like figures on the film next-door, silent and +outstanding upon a field of dazzling snow. + +But behind the counter we had no such seasonable sights to cheer us; +behind the counter, mugs washed overnight needed wrenching off their +shelf, and three waistcoats were none too many. In our room, for all the +stove that reddened like a schoolgirl, and all the stoking that we did +last thing at night, no amount of sweaters, blankets, and miscellaneous +wraps was excessive provision against the early morning. By dawn, which +leant like lead against our canvas windows, and poked sticks of icy +light through a dozen holes and crannies, the only unfrozen water in +the hut was in the kitchen boiler and in my own hot-water bottle. I made +no bones about this trusty friend; it hung all day on a conspicuous +nail; and it did not prevent me from being the first up in the morning, +any more than modesty shall deter me from trumpeting the fact. One of us +had to get up to lay the stove and light the fire, and it was my chance +of drawing approximately even with my brisk commander. No competing with +his invidious energy once he had taken the deck; but here was a march I +could count on stealing while he slept the sleep of the young. Often I +was about before the orderlies, and have seen the two rogues lying on +their backs in the dim light of their kitchen, side by side like huge +dirty children. As for me, blackened and bent double by my exertions, +swaddled in fleece lining and other scratch accoutrements, no doubt I +looked the lion grotesque of the party; but, by the time the wood +crackled and the chimney drew, I too had my inner glow. + +So we reached the shortest day; then came a break, and for me the +Christmas outing of a lifetime. + +The Y.M.C.A. in that sector had just started an outpost of free cheer in +the support line. It was a new departure for the winter only, a kind of +cocoa-kitchen in the trenches, and we were all very eager to take our +turn as cooks. The post was being manned by relays of the workers in our +area, one at a time and for a week apiece; but at Christmas there were +to be substantial additions to the nightly offering. It was the obvious +thing to suggest that extra help would be required, and to volunteer for +the special duty. But one may jump at such a chance and yet feel a +sneaking thrill of morbid apprehension, and yet again enjoy the whole +thing the more for that very feeling. Such was my case as I lit the fire +on the morning of the 21st of December, foolishly wondering whether I +should ever light it again. By all accounts our pitch up the Line was +none too sheltered in any sense, and the severity of the weather was not +the least intimidating prospect. But for forty mortal months I would +have given my right eye to see trench life with my left; and I was still +prepared to strike that bargain and think it cheap. + +The man already on the spot was coming down to take me back with him: we +met at our headquarters over the mid-day meal, by which time my romantic +experience had begun. I had walked the ruined streets in a shrapnel +helmet, endeavouring to look as though it belonged to me, and had worn a +gas-mask long enough to hope I might never have to do so for dear life. +The other man had been wearing his in a gas-alarm up the Line; he had +also been missed by a sniper, coming down the trench that morning; and +had much to say about a man who had not been missed, but had lain, +awaiting burial, all the day before on the spot where we were to spend +our Christmas ... It was three o'clock and incipient twilight when we +made a start. + +Our little headquarters Ford 'bus took us the first three miles, over +the snow of a very famous battle-field, not a whole year old in history, +to the mouth of a valley planted with our guns. Alighting here we made +as short work of that valley as appearances permitted, each with a +shifty eye for the next shell-hole in case of need; there were plenty of +them, including some extremely late models, but it was not our lot to +see the collection enlarged. Neither had our own batteries anything to +say over our heads; and presently the trenches received us in fair +order, if somewhat over-heated. I speak for myself and that infernal +fleece lining, which I had buttoned back into its proper place. It alone +precluded an indecent haste. + +But in the trenches we could certainly afford to go slower, and I for +one was not sorry. It was too wonderful to be in them in the flesh. They +were almost just what I had always pictured them; a little narrower, +perhaps; and the unbroken chain of duck-boards was a feature not +definitely foreseen; and the printed sign-boards had not the expected +air of a joke, might rather have been put up by order of the London +County Council. But the extreme narrowness was a surprise, and indeed +would have taken my breath away had I met my match in some places. An +ordinary gaunt warrior caused me to lean hard against my side of the +trench, and to apologise rather freely as he squeezed past; a file of +them in leather jerkins, with snow on their toe-caps and a twinkle under +their steel hat-brims, almost tempted me to take a short cut over the +top. I wondered would I have got very far, or dropped straight back into +the endless open grave of the communication trench. + +Seen from afar, as I knew of old, that was exactly what the trenches +looked like; but from the inside they appeared more solid and rather +deeper than any grave dug for the dead. The whole thing put me more in +mind of primitive ship-building--the great ribs leaning outwards--flat +timbers in between--and over all sand-bags and sometimes wire-work with +the precise effect of bulwarks and hammock-netting. Even the mouths of +dug-outs were not unlike port-holes flush with the deck; and many a +piquant glimpse we caught in passing, bits of faces lit by +cigarette-ends and half-sentences or snatches of sardonic song; then +the trench would twist round a corner into solitude, as a country road +shakes off a hamlet, and on we trudged through the thickening dusk. +Once, where the sand-bags were lower than I had noticed, I thought some +very small bird had chirped behind my head, until the other man turned +his and smiled. + +'Hear that?' he said. 'That was a bullet! It's just about where they +sniped at _me_ this morning.' + +I shortened my stick, and crept the rest of the way like the oldest +inhabitant of those trenches, as perhaps I was. + + +CASUALTIES + +It was nearly dark when our journey ended at one of those sunken roads +which make a name for themselves on all battle-fields, and duly +complicate the Western Front. Sometimes they cut the trench as a level +crossing does a street, and then it is not a bad rule to cross as though +a train were coming. Sometimes it is the trench that intersects the +sunken road; this happened here. We squeezed through a gap in the +sand-bags, a gap exactly like a stile in a stone fence, and from our +feet the bleak road rose with a wild effect into the wintry sunset. + +It was a road of some breadth, but all crinkled and misshapen in its +soiled bandage of frozen snow. Palpable shell-holes met a touchy eye for +them on every side; one, as clean-cut as our present footprints, +literally adjoined a little low sand-bagged shelter, of much the same +dimensions as a blackfellow's gunyah in the bush. This inviting +habitation served as annex to a small enough hut at least three times +its size; the two cowered end to end against the sunken roadside, each +roof a bit of bank-top in more than camouflage, with real grass doing +its best to grow in real sods. + +'No,' said the other man, 'only the second half of the hut's our hut. +This first half's a gum-boot store. The sand-bagged hutch at the end of +all things is where we sleep.' + +The three floors were sunk considerably below the level of the road, and +a sunken track of duck-boards outside the semi-detached huts was like +the bottom of a baby trench. We looked into our end; it was colder and +darker than the open air, but cubes of packing-case and a capacious +boiler took stark shape in the gloom. + +'I should think we might almost start our fire,' said the other man. 'We +daren't by daylight, on account of the smoke; we should have a shell on +us in no time. As it is, we only get waifs and strays from their +machine-guns; but one took the rim off a man's helmet, as neat as you +could do it with a pair of shears, only last night out here on these +duck-boards.' + +Yet those duck-boards outside the hut were the next best cover to the +hut itself; accordingly the men greatly preferred waiting about in the +open road, which the said machine-guns could spray at pleasure on the +chance of laying British dust. So I gathered from the other man: so I +very soon saw for myself. Night had fallen, and at last we had lighted +our boiler fire, with the help of a raw-boned orderly supplied by the +battalion of Jocks then holding the front line. And the boiler fire had +retaliated by smoking all three of us out of the hut. + +This was an initial fiasco of each night I was there; to it I owe sights +that I can still see as plain as the paper under my pen, and bits of +dialogue and crashes of orchestral gun-fire, maddeningly impossible to +reproduce. Are there no gramophone records of such things? If not, I +make a present of the idea to those whom it officially concerns. They +are as badly needed as any films, and might be more easily obtained. + +The frosty moon was now nearly full, and a grey-mauve sky, wearing just +the one transcendent jewel of light, as brilliant in its way as the +dense blue of equatorial noon. Upon this noble slate the group of armed +men, waiting about in the road above the duck-boards, was drawn in +shining outline; silvered rifles slung across coppery leathern +shoulders; earthenware mugs turned to silver goblets in their hands, and +each tilted helmet itself a little fallen moon. A burst of gun-fire, and +not a helmet turned; the rat-tat-tat of a machine-gun, but no shining +shoulder twinkled with the tiniest shrug. And yet the devil's orchestra +might have been tuning up at their feet, under the very stage they trod +with culpable unconcern. + +Two melodramatic little situations (as they seemed to me, but not to +them) came about for our immediate benefit, and in appropriately quick +succession as I remember them. A wounded Jock figured in each; neither +was a serious case; the first one too light, it was feared, to score at +all. The man did just come limping along our duck-boards, but only very +slightly, though I rather think a comrade's arm played a fifth-wheel +part in the proceedings. It was only a boot that had been sliced across +the instep. A shoemaker's knife could not have made a cleaner job so +far; but 'a bit graze on ma fut' was all the sufferer himself could +claim, amid a murmur of sympathy that seemed exaggerated, ill as it +became a civilian even to think so. + +The other casualty was a palpable hit in the fore-arm. First aid had +been applied, including an empty sand-bag as top bandage, before the +wounded man appeared with his escort in the moonlight; but now there was +a perverse shortage of that very commiseration which had been lavished +upon the man with the wounded boot. This was a real wound, 'a Blighty +one' and its own reward: the man who could time matters to so cynical a +nicety with regard to Christmas, and then only 'get it in the arrum,' +which notoriously means a long time rather than a bad one, was obviously +not a man to be pitied. He was a person to be plied with the driest +brand of North British persiflage. Signs of grim envy did not spoil the +joke, for there were those of as grim a magnanimity behind it all; and +the pale lad himself, taking their nonsense in the best of part, yet +shyly, as though they had a right to complain, and he only wished they +could all have been wounded and sent home together, was their match in +simple subtlety and hidden kindness. And between them all they were +better worth seeing and hearing than the moonlight and the guns. + +It is easy to make too much of a trifle that was not one to me, but in a +sense my first casualty, almost a poignant experience. But there are no +trifles in the trenches in the dead of winter; there is not enough +happening; everything that does happen is magnified accordingly; and the +one man hit on a quiet day is a greater celebrity than the last survivor +of his platoon in the day of big things. The one man gets an audience, +and the audience has time to think twice about him. + +In the same way nothing casts a heavier gloom than an isolated death in +action, such as the one which had occurred here only the previous day. +All ranks were still talking about the man who had lain unburied where +his comrades were now laughing in the moonlight; detail upon detail I +heard before the night was out, and all had the pathos of the isolated +case, the vividness of a portrait as against a group. The man had been a +Lewis gunner, and he had died flushed with the crowning success of his +career. That was the consoling detail: in his last week on earth, in +full view of friend and foe, he had brought off the kind of shot a whole +battalion boasts about. His bird still lay on No-Man's Land, a jumble of +wire and mangled planes; not the sight to sober a successful sportsman, +and him further elated by the promise of special and immediate leave. No +time for a lad of his mettle to weary of well-doing; and he knew of a +sniper worth adding to his bag. The sniper, however, would seem to have +known of him, and in the ensuing duel took special care of himself. Not +so the swollen-hearted sportsman who was going on leave and meant +earning it. Many shots had been exchanged without result; at last, +unable to bear it any longer, our poor man had leapt upon the parapet, +only to drop back like a stone, shot dead not by the other duellist but +by a second sniper posted elsewhere for the purpose. And this tragically +ordinary tragedy was all the talk that night over the mugs. Grim +snatches linger. One quite sorrowful chum regretted the other's braces, +buried with him and of all things the most useless in a grave, and he +himself in need of a new pair. It did seem as though he might have +taken them off the body, and with the flown spirit's hearty sanction. + +They did not say where they had buried him, but our sunken roadside was +not without its own wooden cross of older standing. It was the tiniest +and flimsiest I ever saw, and yet it had stood through other days, when +the road was in other hands; those other hands must have put it up. 'An +Unknown British Hero of the R.F.A.' was all the legend they had left to +endure with this ironical tenacity. + +About midnight we came to an end of our water, supplied each morning by +a working-party detailed for the job: with more water we might have done +worse than keep open all night and kill the bitter day with sleep. As it +was, we were soon creeping through a man-hole curtained by a frozen +blanket into the corrugated core of the sand-bagged gunyah. It was as +much as elbow-high down the middle of the span; the beds were side by +side, so close together that we had to get in by the foot; and only for +a wager would I have attempted to undress in the space remaining. + +But not for any money on such a night! A particularly feeble oil-stove, +but all we had to warm the hut by day, had been doing what it could for +us here at the eleventh hour; but all it had done was to stud the roof +with beads of moisture and draw the damp out of the blankets. We got +between them in everything except our boots; even trench-coats were not +discarded, nor fleece linings any longer to be despised. The other man +was soon asleep. But I had provided myself with appropriate reading, and +for some time burnt a candle to old James Grant and _The Romance of +War_. + +There are those who delight in declaring there is no romance in this +war; there was enough for me that night. Not many inches from my side +the nearest shell had burst, not many days ago by some miracle without +blowing in a sand-bag; not many inches from my head, and perhaps no +deeper in the earth, lay the skull of our 'unknown hero of the R.F.A.' I +for one did not sleep the worse for his honoured company, or for our +common lullaby the guns. + + +AN INTERRUPTED LUNCH + +But there was another side to our life up the line, thanks to the regal +hospitality of Battalion Headquarters. Thither we were bidden to all +meals, and there we presented ourselves with feverish punctuality at +least three times a day. + +It was only about a minute's walk along the trench, past more dug-outs +lit by cigarette-ends, past a trench store-cupboard quietly labelled +BOMBS, and a sentry in a sand-bagged _cul-de-sac_. The door at which we +knocked was no more imposing than our own, the sanctuary within no +roomier, but like the deck-house of a well-appointed yacht after a +tramp's forecastle. Art-green walls and fixed settees, a narrow table +all spotless napery and sparkling glass, forks and spoons as brilliant +as a wedding-present, all these were there or I have dreamt them. I +would even swear to flowers on the table, if it were a case of swearing +one way or other. But what they gave us to eat, with two exceptions, I +cannot in the least remember; it was immaterial in that atmosphere and +company, though I recall the other man's bated breathings on the point. +My two exceptions were porridge at breakfast and scones at tea; both +were as authentic as the mess-waiter's speech; and it would not have +surprised me if the porridge had been followed by trout from the burn, +so much was that part of the Line just then a part of Scotland. + +It was a genial atmosphere in more ways than one. Always on coming in +one's spectacles turned to ground-glass and one's out-door harness to +melting lead. The heat came up an open stairway from the bowels of the +earth, as did the chimney which I painfully mistook for a hand-rail the +first night, when the Colonel was kind enough to take me down below. It +was the first deep dug-out I had seen in working order, and it seemed to +me deliciously safe and snug; the officers' berths in fascinating tiers, +again as on shipboard, all but the Colonel's own, by itself at one end. +It made me very jealous, yet rather proud, when I thought of our +freezing lair upon the sunken road. + +Then, before we went, he took me up to an O.P. on top of all. I think we +climbed up to it out of the _cul-de-sac_, and I know I cowered behind a +chunk of parapet; but what I remember best is the zig-zag labyrinth in +the foreground, that unending open grave with upturned earth complete, +yet quiet as any that ever was filled in; and then the wide sweep of +moonlit snow, enemy country nearly all, but at the moment still and +peaceful as an arctic floe. Our own trenches the only solid signs of +war, like the properties in front of a panorama; not a shot or a sound +to give the rest more substance than a painted back-cloth. It was one of +those dead pauses that occur on all but the noisiest nights, and make +the whole war nowhere more unreal than on the battle-field. + +But when the very next day was at its quietest we had just the opposite +experience. We were sitting at luncheon in this friendly mess, and the +guns might have been a thousand miles away until they struck up all at +once, like a musical-box in the middle of a tune. Their guns, this time; +but you would not have thought it from the faces round the table. One or +two exchanged glances; a lifted eyebrow was answered by a smile; but the +conversation went on just the same until the officer nearest the door +withdrew detachedly. New subject no longer avoidable, but treated with +becoming levity. Not a bombardment, just a Strafe, we gathered; it might +have been with blank shell, had we not heard them bursting. Exit another +officer; enter man from below. Something like telegram in his hand: +retaliation requested by front line. 'Put it through to Brigade.' +Further retirements from board; less noise for moment. New sound: enemy +'plane over us, seeing what they've done. New row next door: our +machine-guns on enemy 'plane! New note in distance: retaliation to +esteemed order.... Other man and I alone at table, dying to go out and +see fun, but obviously not our place. And then in a minute it is all +over, not quite as quickly as it began, but getting on that way. Strafe +stopped: 'plane buzzing away again: machine-guns giving it up as a bad +job: cheery return of Belisarii, in the order of their going, Colonel +last and cheeriest of all. + +'Had my hair parted by a whizz-bang,' says he, 'up in that O.P. we were +in last night.' + +And, as he replenished a modest cup, the curtain might have fallen on +the only line I remember in the whole impromptu piece, which could not +have played quicker as a music-hall sketch, or held a packed audience +more entranced than the two civilian supers who had the luck to be on +the stage. + +But we had to pay for our entertainment; for although it turned out to +have been an absolutely bloodless Strafe, yet a portion of our parapet +had been blown in, which made it inexpedient for us to go round the +front line that afternoon, as previously arranged by our indulgent +hosts. In the evening they were going into reserve, and another famous +Regiment coming to 'take over.' The new-comers, however, were just as +good to us in their turn; and the new Colonel so kind as to take me +round himself on Christmas morning. + + +CHRISTMAS DAY + +The tiny hut is an abode of darkness made visible by a single candle, +mounted in its own grease in the worst available position for giving +light, lest the opening of the door cast the faintest beam into the +sunken road outside. On the shelf flush with the door glimmer parental +urns with a large family of condensed-milk tins, opened and unopened, +full and empty; packing-cases in similar stages litter the duck-board +flooring, or pile it wall-high in the background; trench-coats, +gas-masks, haversacks and helmets hang from nails or repose on a ledge +of the inner wall, which is sunken roadside naked and unashamed. Two +weary figures cower over the boiler fire; they are the other man and yet +another who has come up for the night. A third person, who may look more +like me than I feel like him, hovers behind them, smoking and peering at +his watch. It is the last few minutes of Christmas Eve, and for a long +hour there has been little or nothing doing. Earlier in the evening, +from seven or so onwards, there seemed no end to the queue of armed men, +calling for their mug of cocoa and their packet of biscuits, either +singly, each for himself, or with dixies and sand-bags to be filled for +comrades on duty in the trenches. + +The quiet has been broken only by the sibilant song of the boiler, by +desultory conversation and bursts of gunfire as spasmodic and +inconsequent. Often a machine-gun has beaten a brief but furious tattoo +on the doors of darkness; but now come clogged and ponderous +footfalls--mud to mud on the duck-boards leading from the communication +trench--and a chit is handed in from the outer moonlight. + + '24--12--17. + + 'To Y.M.C.A. Canteen, + '---- Avenue. + + 'DEAR SIRS,--I will be much obliged if you will supply + the bearer with hot cocoa (sufficient for 90 men) + which I understand you are good enough to issue to + units in this line. The party are taking 2 hot-food + containers for the purpose. + + 'Thanking you in anticipation, + 'I am, yours faithfully, + '(Illegible), + 'O/C B Co., + '1/8 (Undesirable).' + +Torpid trio are busy men once more. Not enough cocoa ready-made for +ninety; fresh brew under way in fewer seconds than it takes to state +the fact. Third person already anchored beside open packing-case, +enormous sand-bag gaping between his knees, little sealed packets flying +through his hands from box to bag in twins and triplets. By now it is +Christmas morning; cakes and cigarettes are forthwith added to statutory +biscuits, and a sack is what is wanted. Third person makes shift with +second sand-bag, which having filled, he leaves his colleagues working +like benevolent fiends in the steam of fragrant cauldrons, and joins the +group outside among the shell-holes. + +They are consuming interim dividends of the nightly fare, as they stand +about in steely silhouette against the shrouded moonlight. The scene is +not quite so picturesque as it was last night, when no star of heaven +could live in the light of the frosty moon and every helmet was a +shining halo; to-night the only twinkle to be seen is under a helmet's +rim. + +'Merry Christmas, sir, an' many of 'em,' says a Tyneside voice, getting +in the first shot of a severe bombardment. The third person retaliates +with appropriate spirit; the interchange could not have been franker or +heartier in the days of actual peace on earth and apparent good-will +among men. But here they both are for a little space this Christmas +morning. Cannon may drum it in with thunderous irony, and some +corner-man behind a machine-gun oblige with what sounds exactly like a +solo on the bones, but here in the midst of those familiar alarms the +Spirit of Christmas is abroad on the battle-field. He may be frightened +away--or become a casualty--at any moment. One lucky flourish with the +bones, one more addition to these sharp-edged shell-holes, and how many +of the party would have a groan left in him? One of them groans in +spirit as he thinks, never so vividly, of countless groups as full of +gay vitality as this one, blown out of existence in a blinding flash. +But his hardy friends are above such morbid imaginings; the cold appears +to be their only trouble, and of it they make light enough as they stamp +their feet. Some are sea-booted in sand-bags, and what with their +jerkins and low, round helmets, look more like a watch in oilskins and +sou'-westers than a party of Infantry. + +'We nevaw died o' wintaw yet,' says the Tynesider. 'It takes a lot to +kill an old soljaw.' But he owns he was a shipyard hand before the war; +and not one of them was in the Army. + +All hope it is the last Christmas of the war, but the Tyneside +prognostication of 'anothaw ten yeaws' is received with perfect +equanimity. There is general agreement, too, when the same oracle +dismisses the latest peace offer as 'blooff.' But it must be confessed +that articulate ardour is slightly damped until somebody starts a +subject a great deal nearer home. + +'Who'd have thought that we should live to see a Y.M. in the support +line!' + +Flattering echoes from entire group. + +'Do you remember that chap who kept us all awake in barracks, talking of +it?' + +'I nevaw believed him. I thought it was a myth, sir. And nothing to pay +an' all! It must be costing the Y.M. a canny bit o' money, sir?' + +The third person--who has been hovering on the verge of the inveterate +first--only commits himself to the statement that he helped to give away +785 cups of cocoa and packets of biscuits the night before. Rapid +calculations ensue. 'Why, that must be nearly ten pounds a night, sir?' + +'Something like that.' + +'Heaw that, Corporal! An' now it's cigarettes an' cakes an' all!' + +But the containers are ready, lids screwed down upon their steaming +contents. Strong arms hoist them upon stronger backs; the plethoric +sand-bags are shouldered with still less ado, and off go the party into +the slate-coloured night, off through the communication trenches into +the firing-line they are to hold for England until the twelve hundred +and thirty-ninth daybreak of the war. + +Peering after them with wistful glasses, the third person relapses +altogether into the first. Take away the odd two hundred, and for a +thousand days and nights my heart has been where their muffled feet will +be treading in another minute. Yes; a round thousand must be almost the +exact length of days since I first came out here in the spirit, and to +stay. But never till this year did I seriously dream of following in the +flesh, or till this moment feel the front line like a ball at my feet. +Even the day before yesterday the arrangement was not so definite as it +is to-day; it was not the Colonel himself who was to have taken us round +by special favour and appointment. Yet how easily, had the Strafe +happened half-an-hour later than it did, might we not have come in for +it, perhaps at the very place where the parapet was blown down! It would +have been a wonderful experience, especially as there were no +casualties. Will anything of the kind happen to-day? I have a feeling +that something may; but then I have had that feeling every sentient +moment up the Line. And nothing that can come can come amiss; that is +another of my feelings here, if not the strongest of them all. This +Christmas morning it rings almost like a carol in the heart, almost like +a peal of Christmas bells--jangled indeed by the heart's own bitter +flaws, and yet piercing sweet as Life itself. + +But for all my elderly civilian excitement, before a risk too tiny to +enter a young fighting head at all, sleep does not fail me on a new +couch of my own construction. The sand-bagged lair was none too dry in +the late hard frost; in the unseasonable thaw that seems to be setting +in, it is no place for crabbed age. Youth is welcome to the two beds +with the water now standing on their indiarubber sheets, and youth seems +quite honestly to prefer them; so I make mine on the biscuit-boxes in +the shed, turn my toes to the still glowing coke in the boiler fire, +press my soles to the hot-water bottle which has distinguished itself by +freezing during the day, and huddle down as usual in all the indoor and +outdoor garments I have with me, under my share of the blankets, which I +have been drying assiduously every evening. _The Romance of War_ +performs its nightly unromantic office ... and I have had many a worse +night upon a spring-mattress. + +Colonel finished breakfast when I reach the mess; ready for me by the +time I have had mine. We glove and muffle ourselves, adjust gas-masks +'at the ready,' and sally forth on his common round and my high +adventure, tapping the still slippery duck-boards with our sticks. + +A colourless morning, neither freezing nor thawing; visibility probably +low, luminosity certainly mediocre; in fact, typical Christmas weather +of the modern realistic school, as against the Christmas Number weather +of the last ten days. Yet it is the Christmas Number atmosphere that +haunts me as an aura the more tenacious for its utter absence on all +sides: the sprig of holly in the cake, the presents on the table, the +joys of parent and child--never more at one--and blinding visions in +both capacities, down to that last war-time Christmas dinner at the +Carlton ... such are the sights that await me after all in the +front-line trench! I have dreamt of it for years, yet now that I am here +it is of the dead years I dream, or of this Christmas morning anywhere +but where it is one's beatitude to be spending it. + +Not that I fail to see a good deal of what is before my eyes at last; +but never for many yards is the trench that we are in the only one I +seem to see, and a comparison between the two is irresistible. Perhaps +the width and solidity of this trench would impress me less if it were +not all so different from Belgium as I all but knew it in 1915; the +machine-gunners at their posts in the deep bays, like shepherds +sheltering behind a wall, yet somehow able to see through the wall, +would stand out less if the fire-step also were manned in the old way. +But now trenches are held more by machinery and by fewer men, at any +rate, in daytime; and at night men evidently do not sleep so near their +work as then they did; at least, I look in vain for dug-outs in this +sector of the front line. And I still look in vain for trouble, though +all the time I feel all sorts of possibilities impending: a strange +mixture of curiosity and dread it is--ardent curiosity, and quite +pleasurable dread--that weaves itself into the warp of all inward and +outward impressions whatsoever: can it be peculiar to self-ridden +civilians, or are there really brave men like the Colonel in front of me +(with a bar to his D.S.O.) who have undergone similar sensations at +their baptism of fire? + +It is not exactly mine; nothing comes anything like so near me as that +sniper's bullet on the way up the other day; but little black bursts do +keep occurring high overhead, where one of our airmen is playing peep +among the clouds. The fragments must be falling somewhere in the +neighbourhood; and a more alarming kind of shell has just burst on the +high ground between our parados and the support line. Not very close--I +must have been listening to something else--but the Colonel points out +the smoking place with his stick and his quiet smile. His smile is part +of him, very quiet and contained, full of easy-going power, and a +kindness incapable of condescension. He might be my country-house host +pointing out the excellence of his crop, but his touch is lighter and I +am not expected to admire. He is, of all soldiers I ever met, just the +one I would choose to be alongside if I had to be hit. I don't believe +his face would alter very much, and I should be dying not to alter it +more than I could help. + +But, in spite of all interior preparation, it is not to be. He has given +me a glimpse of No-Man's Land, not through a periscope but in a piece of +ordinary looking-glass; we are nearing the damaged place where his +presence is required and mine emphatically is not. Not that he says +anything of the sort, but I see it in his kindly smile as he hands me +over to his runner for safe-conduct to the place from whence I came. +Still as much disappointed as relieved, as though a definite excitement +had been denied to me, I turned and went with equal reluctance and +alacrity. + +'The bravest officer in the British Army!' was the runner's testimony to +our friend. I have heard the honest words before, but this +hero-worshipper had chapter and verse for his creed: 'Six times he has +been wounded in this war, and never yet gone back to Blighty for a +wound!' + +I had not noticed the six gold stripes--if any--but it is not everybody +who wears his full allowance. And if ever I met a man who cared less +than most brave men about all such things, I believe I said good-bye to +him last Christmas Day. + +We were to meet again in the evening; in the meantime I was to have my +Christmas dinner with the other Colonel and his merry men, now in +reserve. I found them in an ex-Hun dug-out, more like a forecastle than +the other headquarters; everything underground, and the bunks ranged +round the board; but there was the same sheen on the table-cloth, the +same glitter of glass and plate, the same good cheer and a turkey worthy +of the day, and a ham worthy of the turkey, and a plum-pudding worthy of +them both. It is not for the guest of a mess to say grace in public; but +Christmas dinner in the trenches is a case apart. As the school tag +might have had it, _non cuivis civi talia contingunt_. + +There were crackers, too, I suddenly remember, and the old idiotic paper +caps and mottoes, and Christmas cards wherever one went. In the new +legions there is nearly always some cunning hand to supply the unit with +a topical Christmas card: one of our two Battalions had a beauty, and +even the Y.M.C.A. made bold to circulate an artistic apotheosis of our +quarters on the sunken road. But those are not the Christmas cards I +still preserve; my ill-gotten souvenirs are typewritten scraps on +typewriting-paper, unillustrated, but all the more to the point: 'Best +wishes for Xmas and Good Luck in 1918, from the Brigadier and Staff, +--th Infantry Brigade.'--'Christmas Greetings and All Good Luck from +--th Infantry Brigade Headquarters.'--'Christmas Greetings and Good Luck +from ----th Divisional Artillery.' I must say this kind appealed to me, +though I sent away a good many of the more ambitious variety. In neither +was there any conventional nonsense about a 'happy' or even a 'merry' +Christmas; and that, in view of the well-known perversity of the Comic +Spirit, may have been one reason why so much merriment accrued. Nor did +the contrast between unswerving ceremonial and a sardonic simplicity, as +shown in this matter of the Christmas cards, begin or end there; for +while I had followed crystal and fine table-linen into reserve for my +Christmas dinner, the hospitable board behind the front line was now +spread with newspapers, and we drank both our whisky-and-soda and our +coffee out of the same enamelled cup. + +The Colonel who had taken me into the front line after breakfast was not +at dinner that night; for all his wounds he had gone down with common +influenza, and I was desolated. It was my last chance of thanking him, +as the other man and I were leaving in the early morning. All day I had +been thinking of all that I had seen, and of all I had but foreseen, +though so vividly that I felt more and more as though I had actually had +some definite escape; besides, the things I had heard about him after +we parted made me covet the honour of shaking hands once more with so +very brave a man. I had my wish. In the middle of dinner a servant +emerged from below to say: 'The Colonel would like to see the Y.M.C.A. +officer before he went.' + +I can see him still, as I found him, hot and coughing on the bunk in the +corner by itself. 'I thought you would be interested to hear,' said he, +'that the very minute you left me this morning a rum-jar burst on the +parados just behind me. You know how I wear my helmet, with the strap +behind? It blew it off.' + +So my escape had been fairly definite after all, and the thing I was so +ready for had really happened 'the very minute' my back was turned! But +that, unhappily, is not the whole coincidence. Five months later it was +written of 'this good and gallant leader' that 'while inspecting his +battalion in the trenches he was struck by a fragment of shell from a +trench mortar (i.e. a rum-jar) and killed instantaneously.' My +parenthesis; the rest from _The Times_ notice, which also bears out the +story of the six wounds, except that they were seven, and four of them +earned ('with an immediate award of the D.S.O.') on a single occasion. +There is more in the notice that I should like to quote, more still that +I could say even on the strength of that one morning's work; but who am +I to praise so grand a man? I only know that I shall never see another +Christmas without seeing that front-line trench, and a quiet, dark man +in the pride and prime of perfect soldierhood, self-saddled with an old +camp-follower who felt as a child beside him. + + +THE BABES IN THE TRENCHES + +In the morning we made our tracks in virgin snow. It had fallen heavily +in the night, and was still falling as we turned into the trench. So was +a light shower of shell; but it blew over; and now our good luck seemed +almost certain to attend us to our journey's end. + +The snow thinned off as we plodded on our way. But it had altered and +improved the trenches out of knowledge, lying thick along the top on +either hand and often half-way down the side, so that we seemed like +Gullivers striding between two chains of Lilliputian Alps. It was +nevertheless hard going in our valley, where the duck-boards were snowed +under for long stretches without a break, and warmer work in my fleece +lining than I had known it yet. My gas-mask was like a real mill-stone +round the neck; and though the other man had possessed himself of part +of my impedimenta, that only made me feel my age the more acutely. +Almost a great age I felt that morning; for nights on packing-cases in a +low temperature, and an early start on biscuits and condensed-milk +prepared with cold water, after short commons of sleep, are the kind of +combination that will find a man out. I was not indeed complaining, but +neither was I as observant as I might have been. I had been over this +part of the ground by myself the day before, on the way to my Christmas +dinner. It did look rather different in the snow, but that was to be +expected, and the other man knew the way well. So I understood, and he +emphatically affirmed the supposition on such provocation as I from time +to time felt justified in giving the voluntary bearer of my pack. It was +only when we came to some suspiciously unfamiliar landmark, something +important (but I honestly forget what) in a bay by itself, that I +asserted myself sufficiently to call a halt. + +'We never passed _that_ before!' + +'Oh, yes, we did. I'm sure we did. I think I remember it.' + +That ought not to have satisfied me; but you cannot openly discredit a +man who insists on carrying your pack. I was too fatigued to take it +from him, and not competent to take the lead. On he led me, perspiring +my misgivings at every pore; but under a tangled bridge of barbed wire I +made a firmer stand. + +'Anyhow, you don't remember _this_!' I asserted point-blank. + +'No. I can't say I do.' + +'Then how do you account for it?' + +'It must have been put up in the night.' + +I cannot remember by what further resource of casuistry that young man +induced me to follow him another yard; yet so it was, and all the shame +be mine. He himself was the next to falter and stand still in his +tracks, and finally to face me with a question whose effrontery I can +still admire: + +'What would you do if we met a Hun? Put your hands up?' + +We were, in fact, once more impinging upon the firing line, and by a +trench at the time, apparently, not much in use. I know it seemed long +hours since we had encountered a soul; but then it might have been for +the best part of another hour that my guilty guide now left me in order +to ascertain the worst, and I do not seriously suppose it was very many +minutes. I remember cooling off against the side of the trench, and +hearing absolutely nothing all the time. That I still think remarkable. +It was not snowing; the sun shone; visibility must have been better than +for two whole days; and yet nothing was happening. I might have been +waiting in some Highland glen, or in a quarry in the wilds of Dartmoor. +I think that particular silence was as impressive, as intimidating, as +the very heaviest firing that I heard in all my four months at the +front. + +No harm came of our misadventure; it was possibly less egregious than it +sounds. A wrong turning in the snow had taken us perhaps a mile out of +our way; but a trench mile is a terribly long one, and I know how much I +should like to add for the state of the duck-boards on this occasion, +and how much more for that of a lame old duck who thought they were +never, never coming to an end! The valley of the guns was nothing after +them, though the guns were active at the time, an anti-aircraft battery +taking an academic interest in a humming speck on high. Beyond the +valley ran the road, and beyond the road the river, where we were to +have caught a boat. Of course we had just succeeded in missing it. A +homeward-bound lorry picked us up at last. And we were in plenty of time +for the plain mid-day meal at our humble headquarters in the town. But +by then I was done to the world and dead to shame. I suppose I have led +too soft a life, taking very little exercise for its own sake, though +occasionally going to the other extreme from an ulterior motive. So I +have been deservedly tired once or twice in my time; but I didn't know +what it was to be done up before last Boxing Day. + +The short mile down to the hut that afternoon was the longest and worst +of all. Stiffness was setting in, and the snow so deep in the ruinous +streets; but every yard of the way I looked forward to my sheetless +bed; and few things in life have disappointed me so little. The fire was +out, it seemed, and was worth lighting first. There was a sensuous joy +about that last purely voluntary effort and delay. I even think I waited +to let my old hot-water bottle share in the triumphal entry between +blankets that were at least dry, plentiful, and soft as a feather-bed +after the lids of those packing-cases up the Line! + +And it was our Christmas concert in the hut that evening: the copious +entertainment disturbed without spoiling my rest, rather bringing it +home to every aching inch of me as the heavenly thing it was. Song and +laughter travelled up the hut, and filtered through to me refined and +rarefied by far more than the little distance. Somebody came in and made +tea. It was better than being ill. I lay there till nine next morning; +then went down to the Officers' Baths, and came out feeling younger than +at any period of actual but insensate youth. + + + + +DETAILS + +(_January-February, 1918_) + + +ORDERLY MEN + +He who loves a good novel will find himself in clover in a Y.M.C.A. hut +at the front. Not that he will have much time to read one there, except +as I read my night-cap _The Romance of War_; but a better book of the +same name will never stop writing itself out before his eyes, a book all +dialogue and illustrations, yet chock-full of marvellous characters, +drawn to a man without a word of commentary or analysis. To a man, +advisedly, since it will be a novel without a heroine; on the other +hand, all the men and boys will be heroes, at any rate to the kind of +reader I have in mind. Something will depend on him; he will have to +apply himself, as much as to any other kind of reading. He must have +eyes to see, brains to translate, a heart to love or pity or admire. He +must have the power to penetrate under other skins, to tremble for them +more than for his own, to glow and sweat with them, to shiver in shoes +he is not fit to wear. Many can go as far for people who never existed +outside some author's brain; these are they on whom the most stupendous +of unwritten romances is least likely to be lost. It lies open to all +who care to take their stand behind a hut counter in a forward area in +France. + +The character to be seen there, and to be loved at sight! The adventures +to be heard at first-hand, and sometimes even shared! The fun, the +pathos, the underlying horror, but the grandeur lying deeper yet, all to +be encountered together at any minute of any working hour! The Romance +of War it is, but not only the romance; and talking of my sedative, with +all affection for an author who once kept me only too wide awake, it was +not of him that I thought by day behind my counter. It was of Dickens. +It was of Hugo. It was of Reade, who might have done the best battle in +British fiction (and did one of the very best sea-fights), of Scott and +Stevenson and the one or two living fathers of families who will die as +hard as theirs. Their children were always coming to life before our +eyes, especially the Dickens progeny. Sapper Pinch was a friend of mine, +with one or two near relations in the R.A.M.C. There were several +Private Tapleys, and not one of them a bore; on the contrary, they were +worth their weight in gold. And there was an older man whose real name +was obviously Sikes, though the worst thing we knew about him was that +he smoked an ounce of Nosegay every day he was down, and never said +please or thank-you. Once, when we had not seen him for sixteen days, he +knew there was something else he wanted but could not remember what. +'Nosegays!' I could tell him, and planked a packet on the counter. It +was the one time I saw him smile. + +But it was not only business hours that brought forth these immortals; +two of the best were always with us in the superbly contrasted persons +of our two orderlies. The slower and clumsier of the pair was by rights +an Oxfordshire shepherd; in the Army, even under necessity's sternest +law, he was matter in the wrong place altogether. Oxfordshire may not be +actually a part of Wessex, but there is one part of Oxfordshire as +remote as the scene of any of the Wessex Novels, and that was our +Strephon's native place. He might have been the real and original +Gabriel Oak--as Mr. Hardy found him, not as we fortunately know the +bucolic hero of _Far from the Madding Crowd_. + +Our Gabriel was the simplest bumpkin ever seen or heard off the London +stage. He it was who, in his early days in France, had heavily inquired: +'Who be this 'ere Fritz they be arl tarkin' about?' Thus did he +habitually conjugate the verb _to be_; but all his locutions and most +of his manners and customs, his puzzled head-scratchings, his audible +self-communings, his crass sagacity and his simple cunning, were +pastoral conventions of quite time-honoured theatricality. His very +walk, for all his drills, was the ponderous waddle of the stage rustic. +But on his own showing he had (like another Tommy) 'proved one too many +for his teachers' at an early stage of his military education. Not all +their precept and profanity, not all his pristine ardour as a volunteer, +had sufficed to put poor Gabriel on terms of adequate familiarity with +his rifle. + +'I couldn' make nothin' of it, sir,' he would say with rueful candour. +'So they couldn' make nothin' o' me.' + +His simplicity was a joy, though he was sometimes simple to a fault. One +morning I caught him draining our tea-pot as a loving-cup: matted head +thrown back, brawny elbows lifted, and the spout engulfed in his honest +maw: a perfect silhouette, not to be destroyed by a sound, much less a +word of protest, even had we not been devoted to our gentle savage. But +one of us did surreptitiously attend to the spout before tea-time. And +once before my eyes his ready lips sucked the condensed-milk off our +tin-opener before plunging it into a tin of potted meat. He had a +moustache of obsolete luxuriance, I remember with a shudder in this +connection; but the last time I saw him the moustache was not. + +'You see, sir,' explained Gabriel, regretfully, 'I had a cold, an' it +arl ...' + +I hope my muscles were still under due control. To know our Gabriel was +to perish rather than hurt his feelings; for he had the softest heart of +his own, and in Oxfordshire a wife and children to share its affections +with his ewes and lambs. 'An' I think a lot on 'em, too, sir,' said +Gabriel, when he showed me the full family group (self in uniform) done +on his last 'leaf.' Really a sweet simpleton, even when (as I was nearly +forgetting) he announced a brand-new Brigadier-General, who had honoured +me with a visit, as 'A gen'leman to see you, sir!' + +The only man of us who had the heart to tell the angelic Gabriel off was +his brother orderly, a respectable and patriotic Huish, if such a +combination can be conceived. Our Mr. Huish was the gentleman who always +said it wanted five minutes to the 'alf-hour when it wanted at least +ten, and too often sped the last of our lingering guests with insult +into outer darkness. Like his prototype he was a fiery little Londoner, +with a hacking cough and a husky voice ever rising to a shout in his +dealings with bovine Gabriel. There was nothing of the beasts of the +field about our Huish; he was the terrier type, and more than true to it +in his fidelity to his temporary masters. At us he never snarled. His +special province was the boiler stove; he was generally blacked up to +the red rims of his eyes, like a seaside minstrel, and might have been +collecting money in his banjo as we saw him first of a dim morning. But +the instrument was only our frying-pan carried at arm's length, and our +approval of an unconscionable lot of rashers all the recognition he +required. 'W'en I 'as plenty I likes to give plenty,' was his +disreputable watchword in these matters. I am afraid he was not supposed +to cook for us at all. + +Huish was always bustling, or at least shambling with alacrity; whereas +Gabriel went about his lightest business with ponderous deliberation and +puzzled frown. Both were men of forty who had done the right thing early +in the war; they had nothing else in common except the inglorious job +which they owed to their respective infirmities. Huish, after many +rejections on the score of his, had yet contrived to land in khaki at Le +Havre on the last day of the first battle of Ypres; and though he had +never been nearer the fighting than he was with us, no one who knew his +story or himself could have grudged him his 1914 ribbon. His canine +delight, on learning that he was just entitled to it, was a thing to +see and to enter into. + +Let us hope Gabriel did; he was not very charitable about Huish behind +his back. It was Gabriel's boast that he had 'never been in the 'ands of +the police,' and his shame to inform us that Huish had. But the sun has +its spots, and the overwhelming superiority of Huish in munitions of +altercation was perhaps some excuse. Daily we caught his rising voice +and Gabriel's rumbling monotone; what it was about we never knew; but +Huish had all the nerves in the kitchen, and the shepherd must have been +a heavyweight on them at times. Their language, however, as we heard it +under mutual provocation, was either a considerable compliment to the +Y.M.C.A. or an exclusive credit to themselves. Gabriel was duly +archangelic in this regard; the other's only freedom a habit of calling +a thing an 'ell of a thing, and on occasion an Elizabethan +expressiveness, entirely inoffensive in his mouth. + +I wanted their photographs to take with me when I left, and had +prevailed upon them to get taken together at my expense. The result lies +before me as I write. Both are washed, brushed up, shaven and uniformed +out of daily knowledge. Huish stands keenly at attention, as smart as he +could make himself; it is not his fault that the sleeves of his new +tunic come down nearly to his finger-tips. On his right shoulder rests +the forgiving paw of Gabriel; a perceptibly sardonic accentuation of the +crow's-feet round his eyes may perhaps be attributed to this prompting +of the shepherd's heart or the photographer's _finesse_. But the pose +was a consummation; it was in the course of a preliminary transaction +that their excessive gratification obliged me to disclaim benevolence. + +'I shall want some of the copies for myself, you know,' I had warned +them both. + +'Quite right, sir!' cried Huish, heartily. 'It's like a man with a dog +an' a bitch--'e must 'ave 'is pick o' the pups!' + +Huish could take the counter at a pinch, but it was neither his business +nor his pleasure; and our gentle shepherd found French coinage as dark a +mystery as the British rifle. But we were very often assisted by an +unpaid volunteer, another great character in his way. We never knew his +name, and to me at least he was a new type. A Hull lad, eighteen years +old, private in a Labour Battalion employed near the town, he must have +had work enough by day and night to satisfy even one of his strength and +build, which were those of a little gorilla. And yet never a free +evening had this boy but he must spend it behind our counter, slaving +like the best of us for sheer love. But it was the work _he_ loved; he +was a little shop-keeper born and bred; his heart was in the till at +home; that was what brought him hot-foot to ours; and his passionate +delight in the mere routine of retail trade was the new thing to me in +human boyhood. + +At first I had wondered, the hobby seemed so unnatural: at first I even +kept an eye on him and on the till. Our leader had gone on leave before +the New Year; nobody seemed to know how far he had encouraged the boy, +or the origin of his anomalous footing in the hut; and we were taking a +cool thousand francs a day. But our young volunteer bore microscopic +scrutiny, but repaid it all. His was not only a labour of love +unashamed, but the joyous exercise of a gift, the triumphant display of +an inherent power. He beat the best of us behind a counter. It was his +element, not ours for all the will and skill in the world; he was a fish +among swimmers, a professional among amateurs, and the greatest +disciplinarian of us all. The home till may have been behind a bar in +the worst part of Hull, long practice in prompt refusal have given him +his short way with old soldiers opening negotiations out of their turn. +It was a good way, however, as cheery as it was firm. I can hear it now: + +'Naw, yer dawn't, Jock! Get away back an' coom oop in't queue like +oother people!' + +It was never resented. Though not even one of us, but the youngest and +lowliest of themselves, that urchin by his own virtue exercised the +authority of a truculent N.C.O. with the whole military machine behind +him. I never heard a murmur against him, or witnessed the least +reluctance to obey his ruling. And with equal impunity he addressed all +alike as 'Jock.' + +But that, though one of his many and quaint idiosyncrasies, was perhaps +the covert compliment that took the edge off all the rest. + +And it brings me to the Jocks themselves, who deserve a place apart from +Y.M.C.A. orderlies and the best of boys in a Labour Battalion. + + +THE JOCKS + +First a word about this generic term of 'Jock.' I use it advisedly, yet +not without a qualm. It is not for a civilian to drop into military +familiarities on the strength of a winter with the Expeditionary Force; +but this sobriquet has spread beyond all Army areas; like 'Tommy,' but +with a difference worth considering, it has passed into the language of +the man still left in the street. If not, it will; for you have only to +see him at his job in the war, doing it in a way and a spirit all his +own, and a Jock is a Jock to you ever after. As the cricketer said about +the yorker, what else can you call him? + +The first time the word slipped off my tongue, except behind their +backs, and I found I had called a superb young Seaforth Highlander +'Jock' to his noble face, I stood abashed before him. It sounded an +unpardonable liberty; apologise I must, and did. + +'It's a name I am proud to be called by,' said he quite simply. I never +committed the apology again. + +It was not as though one had called an English soldier 'Tommy' to his +face; the Jock's answer brought that home to me, and with something like +a shock--not because 'Jock' was evidently rather more than a term of +endearment, but because 'Tommy' suddenly seemed rather less. Each +carried its own nuance, its quite separate implication, and somehow the +later term took higher ground. I wondered how much later it was. Did it +begin in South Africa? There were no Jocks in _Barrack-Room Ballads_; +but there was 'Tommy,' the poem; and between those immortal lines I read +my explanation. It was from them I had learnt, long years before either +war, that it was actually possible for purblind peace-lovers to look +down upon the British soldier, under the name those lines dinned in. The +Jocks had not been christened in those dead days; that was their luck; +that was the difference. _Their_ name belonged to the spacious times +which have given the fighting-man the place of honour in all true +hearts. + +Hard on Tommy! As for the Jocks, they have earned their good name if men +ever did; but I am to speak of them only as I saw them across a Y.M.C.A. +counter, demanding 'twust' without waste of syllables, or +'wrichting-pads,' or 'caun'les'; huge men with little voices, little men +with enormous muscles; men of whalebone with the quaint, stiff gait +engendered by the kilt, looking as though their upper halves were in +strait waistcoats, simply because the rest of them goes so free; figures +of droll imperturbability, of bold and handsome _sang-froid_, hunting +in couples among the ruins for any fun or trouble that might be going. +'As if the town belonged to them!' said one who loved the sight of them; +but I always thought the distinctive thing about the Jock was his air of +belonging to the town, ruined or otherwise, or to the bleak stretch of +war-eaten countryside where one had the good fortune to encounter him. +His matter-of-fact stolidity, his dry scorn of discomfort, the soul +above hardship looking out of his keen yet dreamy eyes, the tight smile +on his proud, uncomplaining lips--to meet all these in a trench was to +feel the trench transformed to some indestructible stone alley of the +Old Town. These men might have been born and bred in dug-outs, and +played all their lives in No-Man's Land, as town children play about a +street and revel in its dangers. + +I am proud to remember that they held the part of the line I was in at +Christmas. I saw them do everything but fight, and that I had no wish to +see as a spectator; but everybody knows how they set about it, the enemy +best of all. I have seen them, however, pretty soon after a raid: it was +like talking to a man who had just made a hundred at Lord's: our hut was +the Pavilion. I never saw them with their blood up, and to see them +merely under fire is to see them just themselves--not even abnormally +normal like less steady souls. + +Said a Black Watchman in the hearing of a friend of mine, as he mended a +parapet under heavy fire, in the worst days of '15: 'I wish they'd stop +their bloody sniping--_and let me get on with my work_!' + +The Jock all over! So a busy man swears at a wasp; the Jock at war is +just a busy man until something happens to put a stop to his business. +In the meantime he is not complaining; he is not asking you when this +dreadful war will finish; he is not telling you it can never be finished +by fighting. He went to the war as a bridegroom to his bride, and he has +the sense and virtue to make the best of his bargain till death or peace +doth them part. He may sigh for his release like other poor devils; his +pride will not let him sigh audibly; and as for 'getting out of it,' +divorce itself is not more alien to his stern spirit. It is true that he +has the business in his blood: not the Covenanters only but the +followers of Montrose and Claverhouse were Jocks before him. It is also +true that even he is not always at concert pitch; but his nerves do not +relax or snap in damp or cold, as may the nerves of a race less inured +through the centuries to hardship and the incidence of war. In bitter +fighting there is nothing to choose between the various branches of the +parent oak. The same sound sap runs through them all. But in bitter +weather on the Western Front give me a hutful of Jocks! If only Dr. +Johnson could have been with us in the Y.M.C.A. from last December to +the day of big things! It would have spoilt the standing joke of his +life. + +In the jaunty bonnet that cast no shadow on the bronzed face underneath, +with the warm tints of their tartans between neat tunic and +weather-beaten knees, their mere presence lit up the scene; and to +scrape acquaintance with one at random was nearly always to tap a +character worthy of the outer man. There are those who insist that the +discipline of the Army destroys individuality; it may seem so in the +transition stage of training, but the nearer the firing-line the less I +found it to be the case. I knew a Canadian missioner, turned Coldstream +Guardsman, who was very strong and picturesque upon the point. + +'Out here,' said he, 'a man goes naked; he can't hide what he really is; +he can't camouflage himself.' + +The Jock does not try. In the life school of the war he stands stripped, +but never poses; sometimes rugged and unrefined; often massive and +majestic in body and mind; always statuesque in his simplicity, always +the least self-conscious of Britons. Two of his strongest point are his +education and his religion, but he makes no parade of either, because +both are in his blood. His education is as old as the least humorous of +the Johnsonian jibes, as old as the Dominie and the taws: a union that +bred no 'brittle intellectuals,' but hard-headed men who have helped the +war as much by their steadfast outlook as by their zest and prowess in +the field. As for their religion, it is the still deeper strain, mingled +as of old with the fighting spirit of this noble race. It is most +obvious in the theological students, even the full-fledged ministers, to +be found in the ranks of the Jocks to-day; but I have seen it in rougher +types who know nothing of their own sleeping fires, who are puzzled +themselves by the blaze of joy they feel in battle and will speak of it +with characteristic frankness and simplicity. + +'The pleasure it gives ye! The pleasure it gives ye!' said one who had +been breathing wonders about their ding-dong, hand-to-hand +bomb-and-bayonet work. 'This warr,' he went on to declare, 'will do more +for Christianity than ever was done in the wurruld before.' + +This also he reiterated, and then added surprisingly: + +'Mine ye, I'm no' a Christian mysel'; but this warr will do more for +Christianity than ever was done in the wurruld before.' + +The personal disclaimer was repeated in its turn, in order to remove any +possible impression that the speaker was any better than he ought to be. +At least I thought that was the explanation; none was offered or indeed +invited, for there were other men waiting at the counter; and we never +met again, though he promised to come back next night. That boy meant +something, though he did not mean me to know how much. He came from +Glasgow, talked and laughed like Harry Lauder, and did both together all +the time. His conversation made one think. It would be worth recording +for its cheery, confidential plunge into deep waters; nobody but a Jock +would have taken the first header. + +Yet, out of France, the Scottish have a reputation for reserve! Is it +that in their thoroughgoing way they strip starker than any, where all +go as naked as my Canadian friend declared? + +They are said to be (God bless them!) our most ferocious fighters. I +should be sorry to argue the point with a patriotic Australian; but my +money is on the Jock as the most affectionate comrade. It is a touching +thing to hear any soldier on a friend who has fought and fallen at his +side; but the poetry that is in him makes it wonderful to hear a Jock; +you get the swirl of the pipes in his voice, the bubble of a Highland +burn in his brown eyes. So tender and yet so terrible! So human and so +justly humorous in their grief! + +'He was the best wee Sergeant ever a mon had,' one of them said to me, +the night after a costly raid. We have no English word to compare with +that loving diminutive; 'little' comes no nearer it than 'Tommy' comes +near 'Jock.' One even doubts whether there are any 'wee' Sergeants who +do not themselves make use of the word. + +I could tell many a moving tale as it was told to me, in an accent that +I never adored before. On second thoughts it is the very thing I cannot +do and will not attempt. But here is a letter that has long been in my +possession; a part of it has been in print before, in a Harrow +publication, for it is all about a Harrow boy of great distinction; but +this is the whole letter. It makes without effort a number of the points +I have been labouring; it throws a golden light on the relations between +officers and men in a famous Highland Regiment; but its unique merit +lies in the fact that it was _not_ written for the boy's people to read. +It is a Jock's letter to a Jock, about their officer:-- + + 'FRANCE, + 1. 9. 15. + + DEAR TOMMY,-- + + Just a note to let you know that I am still alive and + kicking. Things are much the same as when you left + here. We have had one good kick up since you were + wounded, that was on the 9th of May. We lost little + Lieut. ----, the best man that ever toed the line. You + know what like he was; the arguments you and him used + to have about politics. He always said you should have + been Prime Minister. None of the rest of them ever + mixed themselves with us the same as he done; he was a + credit to the regiment and to the father and mother + that reared him; and Tommy the boys that are left of + the platoon hopes that you will write to his father + and mother and let them know how his men loved him, + you can do it better than any of us. I enclose you a + cutting out of a paper about his death. He died at the + head of his platoon like the toff he was, and, Tommy, + I never was very religious but I think little ---- is + in Heaven. He knew that it was a forlorn hope before + we were half way, but he never flinched. He was not + got for a week or two after the battle. Well, dear + chum, I got your parcel and am very thankful for it. I + will be getting a furlough in a week or two and I will + likely come and see you, not half. All the boys that + you knew are asking kindly for you. We are getting + thinned out by degrees. There are 11 of us left of + the platoon that you know--some dead, some down the + line. But Tommy we miss you for your arguments, and + the old fiddle was left at Parides, nobody to play it; + but still we are full of life. I expect you will read + some of these days of something big. I may tell you + the Boches will get hell for leather before they are + many days older. We have the men now and the material + and we won't forget to lay it on. Old Bendy is major + now, he gave us a lecture a while ago and he had a + word to say about you and wee Hughes and Martin, that + was the night that you went to locate the mortar and + came in with the machine gun. He says the three of you + were a credit to the regiment. I just wish you were + back to keep up the fun, but your wife and bairns will + like to keep you now. Well, Tommy, see and write to + ----'s father and let him know how his men liked him, + it will perhaps soften the blow. No more now, but I + remain your ever loving chum and well wisher, SANDY. + + 'Good night and God bless you. + + 'P.S.--Lochie Rob, J. Small, Philip Clyne, Duncan + Morris, Headly, wee Mac, Ginger Wilson, Macrae and + Dean Swift are killed. There are just three of us left + in the section now, that is, Gordon, Black, and + Martin, the rest drafted. + + 'Write soon.' + +Thomas himself is not quite so simple. He is not writing as man to man, +but to an intermediary who will show every word to 'little -----'s' +family. He is not speaking just for himself, but for his old platoon, +and added to this responsibility is the manly duty of keeping up his own +repute, both as one who 'should have been Prime Minister' and as one who +'can do it better than any of us.' Thomas is somewhere or other in +hospital, but for all his hurts there are passages of his that come from +squared elbows and a very sturdy pen: + + 'He was young so far as years were concerned, but he + was old in wisdom. He never asked one of us to do that + which he would not do himself. He shared our hardships + and our joys. He was in fact one of ourselves as far + as comradeship and brotherly love was concerned. We + never knew who he was till we saw his death in the + Press, but this we did know, that he was Lieut. -----, + a gentleman and a soldier every inch, _and mind you + the average Tommy is not too long in getting the size + of his officer_, and it is not every day that one like + ----- joins the Army.... + + He was liked by his fellow-officers, but he was loved, + honoured and respected by his men, and you know, Sir, + that _I am not guilty of paying tributes to anyone + where they are not deserved_....' + +I love Thomas for the two italicised asides. It was not he who +underlined them; but they declare his politics as unmistakably as +Sandy's bit about those arguments with their officer. For 'little ----' +was the son of one of Scotland's noblest and most ancient houses; but +Thomas is careful to explain that they never knew that until the papers +told them, and we have internal evidence that Sandy never gave it a +thought. He lays no stress on the fact that 'none of the rest of them +ever mixed themselves with us the same as he done': the gem of both +tributes, when you come to think of it. + +I think of it the more because I knew this young Harrovian a little in +his brilliant boyhood (Head of the School and Captain of the Football +Eleven), but chiefly because I happen to have seen his grave. It is on +the outskirts of a village that was still pretty and wooded in early +'17, though the church was in a bad way even then. Now there can be +little left; but I hope against hope that some of the wooden crosses +which so impressed me are still intact. For there as ever among his men, +I think even alongside 'wee Mac' and the others named in that pathetic +postscript, lies 'little ----', truly 'mixing himself with them' to the +last. + +In the same row, under mound and cross as neat as any, lay 'an unknown +German soldier'; and for his sake, perhaps, if all have not been blown +to the four winds, the present occupiers[1] will do what can be done to +protect and preserve the resting-place of 'little ----' and his Jocks. + +[Footnote 1: July, 1918.] + + +GUNNERS + +Next to the Jocks, I used to find the Gunners the cheeriest souls about +a hut. Nor do I believe that mine was a chance experience; for the +constant privilege of inflicting damage on the Hun must be, despite a +very full share of his counter-attentions, a perpetual source of +satisfaction. A Gunner is oftener up and doing, far seldomer merely +suffering, than any other being under arms. The Infantry have so much to +grin and bear, so very much that would be unbearable without a grin, +that it is no wonder if the heroic symbol of their agony be less in +evidence upon ordinary occasions. Cheeriness with them has its own awful +connotation: they are almost automatically at their best when things are +at their worst; but the gunner is always enjoying the joke of making +things unpleasant for the other side. He is the bowler who is nearly +certain of a good match. + +He used to turn up at our hut at all hours, sometimes in a Balaclava +helmet that reminded one of other winter sports, often with his +extremities frozen by long hours in the saddle or on his limber, but +never wearied by much marching and never in any but the best of +spirits. He was always an interesting man, who knew the Line as a +strolling player knows the Road, but neither knew nor cared where he was +to give the next performance. I associate him with a ruddy visage and a +hearty manner that brought a breeze in from the outer world, as a good +stage sailor brings one from the wings. + +One great point about the Gunners is that you can see them at their job. +I had seen them at it on a former brief visit to the front, and even had +a foretaste of their quality of humour, which is by no means so heavy as +a civilian wag might apprehend. The scene was the tight-rope road +between Albert and Bapaume, then stretched across a chasm of +inconceivable devastation, and only three-parts in our hands; in fact we +were industriously shelling Bapaume and its environs when a car from the +Visitors' Château dumped two of us, attended by a red-tabbed chaperon, +in the very middle of our guns. + +Not even in later days do I remember such a row as they were making. +Shells are as bad, but I imagine one does not hear a great many quite so +loud and live to write about it. Drum-fire must be worse at both ends; +but I have heard only distant drum-fire, and on the spot it must have +this advantage, that its continuity precludes surprise. But a series of +shattering surprises was the essence of our experience before Bapaume. +The guns were all over the place, and fiendishly camouflaged. I was +prepared for all sorts of cunning and picturesque screens and +emplacements, and indeed had looked for them. I was not prepared for +absolutely invisible cannon of enormous calibre that seemed to loose off +over our shoulders or through our legs the moment our backs were turned. + +If you happened to be looking round you were all right. You saw the +flash, and your eye forewarned your ear in the fraction of a second +before the bang, besides reassuring you as to the actual distance +between you and the blazing gun; but whenever possible it took a mean +advantage, and had me ducking as though somebody had shouted 'Heads!' I +say 'me,' not before it was time; for I can only speak with honesty for +myself. By flattering chance I was pretending to enjoy this experience +in good company indeed; but the great man might have been tramping his +own moor, and doing the shooting himself, for all the times I saw his +eyelids flicker or his massive shoulders wince. He made no more of a +howitzer that jovially thundered and lightened in our path, over our +very heads, than of the brace of sixty-pounders whose peculiarly +ear-destroying duet 'scratched the brain's coat of curd' as we stood +only too close behind them. They might have been a brace of Irish +Members for all their intimidatory effect on my illustrious companion. + +But the fun came when we adjourned to the Battery Commander's dug-out, +and somebody suggested that the Forward Observing Officer would feel +deeply honoured by a word on the telephone from so high an Officer of +State. All urbanity, the O.S. took down the receiver, and was heard +introducing himself to the F.O.O. by his official designation, as though +high office alone could excuse such a liberty. The receiver cackled like +a young machine-gun, and the O.S. beamed dryly on the O.C. + +'He wants to know who the devil I _really_ am!' he reported with due +zest. + +Hastily the spectacled young Major vouched for the other speaker. The +receiver changed hands once more. The Forward Observing Officer was +evidently as good as his style and title. + +'He says--"in that case"--I'd better look him up!' twinkled the O.S. 'Is +there time? He says he's quite close to the sugar factory.' + +The sugar factory was unmistakable, not as a flagrant sugar factory but +as the only fragment of a building left standing within the sky-line. It +proved a snare. Our F.O.O. was unknown there; if he had ever been at the +ex-factory, he had kept himself to himself and gone without leaving an +address; and though we sought him high and low among the shell-holes, +under the belching muzzles of our guns, it was not intended by +Providence (nor yet peradventure by himself) that we should track that +light artillery comedian to his place of concealment. + +Still, one can get at a gunner (in the above sense only) quicker than at +any other class of acquaintance in the Line. + +It is, after all, a very small war in the same sense as it is said to be +a small world; and in our ruined town I was always running into some +soldier whom I had known of old in leather or prunella. I have had the +pleasure of serving an old servant as an impressive N.C.O., of welcoming +others of all ranks on both sides of the counter. Thus it was that one +day I had a car lent me to go pretty well where I liked, subject to the +approval of a young Staff Officer, my escort. I thought of a Gunner +friend hidden away somewhere in those parts. He was an Old Boy of my old +school. So, as it happened, was the High Commander to whom the car +belonged; so, by an extraordinary chance, was the young Staff Officer. +The oldest of them, of course, long years after my time; but an All +Uppingham Day for me, if ever I had one! I only wish we could have +claimed the hero of the day as well. + +The car took us to within a couple of miles of my friend, who was not +above another mile from No-Man's Land. It was a fairly lively sector at +the best of times, which was about the time I was there. The enemy had +shown unseasonable activity only the night before, and we met some of +the casualties coming down a light railway, up which we walked the last +part of the way. Two or three khaki figures pushing a truck laden with a +third figure--supine, blanketed, and very still: that was the picture we +passed several times in the thin February sunlight. One man looked as +dead as the livid landscape; one had a bloody head and a smile that +stuck; one was walking, supported by a Red Cross man, coughing weakly as +he went. Round about our destination were a number of shell-sockets, +very sharp and clean, all made in the night. + +It was quite the deepest dug-out I was ever in, but I was not sorry when +I had found my eyes in the twilight of its single candle. Warm, down +there; a petrol engine throbbing incomprehensibly behind a curtain at +the foot of the flight; a ventilating shaft at the inner end; hardly any +more room than in an Uppingham study. How we talked about the old place, +three school generations of us, sitting two on a bed until I broke down +the Major's! The Major might have been bored before that--he who alone +had not been there. But even my ponderous performance did not disturb a +serene forbearance, a show of more than courteous interest, which +encouraged us to persist in that interminable gossip about masters (with +imitations!) so maddening to the uninitiated. At length the petrol +engine stopped; I doubt if we did, though steak and onions now arrived. +May I never savour their crude smell again without remembering that time +and place; the oftener the better, if there be those present who do not +know about the Major. + +His second-in-command, my Uppingham friend, told me as he saw us along +the light railway on our way back. In 1914 the Major had been a +Nonconformist Minister. Never mind the Denomination, or the part of +Great Britain: because the Call sounded faint there, and his flock were +slow to answer, the shepherd showed the way, himself enlisting in the +ranks: because he was what he was, and came whence he came, here and +thus had I found him in 1918, commanding a battery on the Somme, at the +age--but that would be a tale out of school. A legion might be made up +of the men whose real ages are nobody's business till the war is over; +then they might be formed into a real Old Guard of Honour, and +_splendidissime mendax_ might be their motto. + +I do not say the Major would qualify. I have forgotten exactly what it +was I heard upon the point. But I am not going to forget something that +reached me later from another source altogether, namely the lips of a +sometime N.C.O. of the Battery. + +'There was not,' he asserted, 'better discipline in any battery in +France. But not a man of us ever heard the Major swear.' + +It was a great friend of mine that I had gone forth to see: a cricketer +whose only sin was the century that kept him out of the pavilion: a man +without an enemy but the one he turned out to fight at forty. Yet the +man I am gladdest to have seen that day on the Somme is not my friend, +but my friend's friend and Major.... And to think that he opened his +kindly fire upon me by saying absurd things about the only book of mine +which has very many friends; and that I let him, God forgive me, instead +of bowing down before the gorgeous man! + + +THE GUARDS + +The Jocks started me thinking in units, the Gunners set me off on the +chance meetings of this little war, and between them they have taken me +rather far afield from my Noah's Ark in the mud. But I am not going back +just yet, though the ground is getting dangerous. I am only too well +aware of that. It is presumptuous to praise the living; and I for one +would rather stab a man in the back than pat him on it; but may I humbly +hope that I do neither in these notes? The bristling risks shall not +deter me from speaking of marvellous men as I found them, nor yet from +expressing as best I may the homage they inspired. I can only leave out +their names, and the names of the places where we met, and trust that my +precautions are not themselves taken in vain. But there is no veiling +whole units, or at least no avoiding some little rift within the veil. +And when the unit is the Guards--but even the Guards were not all in one +place last winter. + +Enough that at one time there were Guardsmen to be seen about the +purlieus of that 'battered caravanserai' which the war found an antique +city of sedate distinction, and is like to leave yet another scrap-heap. +The Guards were in the picture there, if not so much so as the Jocks; +for in kilt and bonnet the Jocks on active service are more like Jocks +than the Guards are like Guardsmen; nevertheless, and wherever they +wander, the Guards are quite platitudinously unlike any other troops on +earth. + +Memorable was the night they first swarmed into my first hut. +'Debouched,' I daresay, would be the more becoming word; but at any rate +they duly marched upon the counter, in close order at that, and (as the +correspondents have it) 'as though they had been on parade.' Few of them +had anything less than a five-franc note; all required change; soon +there was not a coin in the till. I wish the patronesses of Grand +Clearance Sales could have seen how the Guards behaved that night. Not +one of them showed impatience; not one of them was inconsiderate, much +less impolite; the sanctity of the queue could not have been more +scrupulously observed had our Labour boy been there to see to nothing +else. He was not there, and I sighed for him when there was time to +sigh; for it was easily the hardest night's work I had in France. But +the Guards did their best to help us; they were always buying more than +they wanted, 'to make it even money'; continually prepared to present +the Y.M.C.A. with the change we could not give them. Never was a body +of men in better case--calmer, more immaculate, better-set-up, more +dignified and splendid to behold. They might have walked across from +Wellington Barracks; they were actually fresh from what I have heard +them call 'the Cambrai do.' + +There was a bitterly cold night a little later on; it was also later in +the night. My young chief was already a breathing pillar of blankets. I +was still cowering over a reddish stove, thinking of the old hot-water +bottle which was even then preparing a place for my swaddled feet: from +outer darkness came the peculiar crunch of heavy boots--many pairs of +them--rhythmically planting themselves in many inches of frozen snow. I +went out and interviewed a Guards' Corporal with eighteen eager, silent +file behind him, all off a leave train and shelterless for the night, +unless we took them in. I pointed out that we had no accommodation +except benches and trestle-tables, and the bare boards of the hut, where +the stove had long been black and the clean mugs were freezing to their +shelf. + +'We shall be very satisfied,' replied the Corporal, 'to have a roof over +us.' + +I can hear him now: the precise note of his appreciation, candid yet not +oppressive: the dignified, unembittered tone of a man too proud to make +much of a minor misfortune of war. Yet for fighting-men just back from +Christmas leave, howsoever it may have come about, what a welcome! I +never felt a greater brute than lying warm in my bed, within a yard of +the stove that still blushed for me, and listening to those silent men +taking off their accoutrements with as little noise as possible, +preparing for a miserable night without a murmur. Later in the winter, +it was said that men were coming back from leave disgruntled and +depressed. My answer was this story of the Corporal and the eighteen +freezing file. But they were Guardsmen nearly all. + +Not the least interesting of individual Guardsmen was one who across our +counter nicely and politely declared himself an anarchist. It was the +slack hour towards closing-time, before the National Anthem at the +cinema prepared us for the final influx, and I am glad I happened to be +free to have that chat. It was most instructive. My Guardsman, who was +accompanied by the inevitable Achates, was not a temporary soldier; both +were fine, seasoned men of twelve or thirteen years' service, who had +been through all the war, with such breaks as their tale of wounds had +necessitated. The anarchist did all the talking, beginning (most +attractively to me) about cricket. He was a keen watcher of the game, an +old habitué of Burton Court and intense admirer of certain +distinguished performers for the Household Brigade. 'A great man!' was +his concise encomium for more than one. How the anarchy came in I have +forgotten. It was decked in dark sayings of a rather homely cut, +concerning the real war to follow present preliminaries; but I thought +the real warrior was himself rather in the dark as to what it was all to +be about. At any rate he failed to enlighten me, as perhaps I failed to +enlighten him on the common acceptation of the term 'anarchy.' Reassure +me he did, however, by several parenthetical observations, which seemed +to fall from the inveterate soldier rather than the _soi-disant_ +revolutionary. + +'But of course we shall see this war through first,' he kept +interrupting himself to impress on me. 'Nothing will be done till we +have beaten Germany.' + +On balance I was no wiser about the anarchist point of view, but all the +richer for this peep into a Guardsman's mind. It was like a good +sanitary cubicle filled with second-hand gimcrackery, but still the same +good cubicle, still in essentials exactly like a few thousand more. The +meretricious jumble was kept within rigid bounds of discipline and good +manners, and not as a temporary measure either; for I was solemnly +assured that the 'real war,' when it came, would be a bloodless one. +Let us hope other incendiaries will adopt my friend's somewhat difficult +ideal of an ordered anarchy! As for his manners, I can only say I have +heard views with which I was in full personal agreement made more +offensive by a dogmatic advocate than were these monstrous but quite +amiable nebulosities. If anarchy is to come, I know which anarchist I +want to 'ride in the whirlwind and direct the storm'; he will spare +Burton Court, I do believe; and even catch himself saluting, with true +Guards' _élan_, the 'great men' who are still permitted to hit out of +it. + +Tradition in the Guards, you conjecture, means more than machine-guns, +more than artillery support; it is half the battle they are always +pulling out of the fire. It may be other things as well. I heard a +delightful story about one Battalion--but I heard it from a +fellow-tradesmen whose business it is (or was, before the war) to say +more than his prayers. The libel, for it is too good to be true, was +that one of the senior Battalions, having given a dinner in some Flemish +town early in the war, did a certain amount of inadvertent damage to +municipal property during the subsequent proceedings. One in authority +wrote to apologise to the _maire_, enclosing the wherewithal for +reparation: whereupon the _maire_ presented himself in high glee, +brandishing an equally handsome apology for the same thing done in the +same place by the same Regiment in--1711! + +One royal night I had myself as the guest of a Company in another of +their Battalions. The camp was about half-way between our hut and the +front line, near the road and in mud enough to make me feel at home. But +whereas we weltered in a town-locked pool, this was in the open sea; not +a tree or a chink of masonry in sight; just a herd of 'elephants' or +Nissen huts, linked up by a network of duck-boards like ladders floating +in the mud. Mud! It was more like clotted cocoa to a mind debauched by +such tipple, and the great split tubes of huts like a small armada +turned turtle in the filth. + +The outer tube I think was steel--duly corrugated--but wooden inner +tubes made the mess-hut and the one I shared with my host voluptuously +snug and weather-proof. It was the wildest and wettest night of all the +winter, but not a drop or a draught came in anywhere, and I am afraid I +thought with selfish satisfaction of the many perforations in our own +thin-skinned hut. An open fire was another treat to me; and I remember +being much intrigued by a buttery-hatch in the background. It reminded +me of the third act of _The Admirable Crichton_. + +There were only four of us at dinner, or five including a parrot who +hopped about saying things I have forgotten. All the other three were +temporary Guardsmen; that I knew; but to me they seemed the lineal +descendants of the bear-skinned and whiskered heroes in old volumes of +_Punch_. I suppose they were colder in their Balaclava huts, but I +warrant the other atmosphere was much the same. We should not have had +Wagner on a gramophone before Sebastopol; but they would have given me +Veuve Cliquot, or whatever the very best may have been in those days; +and if I had committed the solecism of asking for more bread, having +consumed my statutory ration, the mess-waiter of 1855 would have put me +right in the same solicitous undertone that spared my blushes in 1918. +The perfect blend of luxury and discipline would have been as +captivating then as now and ever, and the kindness of my hosts a thing +to write about in fear and trembling, no matter how gratefully. + +But there would have been no duck-boards to follow through wind and rain +to my host's warm hut, and I should not be looking back upon as snug a +winter's night as one could wish to spend. How we lay talking while the +storm frittered its fury upon the elephant's tough hide! Once more it +was talk of schooldays, but not of mine; it was all about Eton this +time, and nearly all about a boy there who had been most dear to us +both. He was now out here in his grave; but which of them was not? Of +the group that I knew best before the war, only he whom I was with +to-night! I lay awake listening to his even breathing, and prayed that +he at least might survive the holocaust yet to come. + + + + +A BOY'S GRAVE + +(_February, 1918_) + + +Somewhere in Flanders there was a ruined _estaminet_, with an early +trench running round it, that I longed to see for the sake of a grave in +a farm-yard not far behind. The grave itself was known to be +obliterated. Though dug very deep by men who loved the boy they laid +there at dead of night, and though the Sergeant (who loved him most) +could say what a strong cross they had placed over it, the grave was so +situated, and the whole position so continuously under fire, that +official registration was never possible, nor any further reassurance to +be had. The boy's Division went out of the Line, and at length went back +into another sector; but more than one officer who knew his people, and +one brave friend who had only heard of them, searched the spot without +avail. For two years it was so near the enemy and so heavily shelled +that the fear became a moral certainty that everything had been swept +away; then the boy's father chanced to meet his Army Commander; and +that great human soldier ordered the investigation that bore out every +dread. Nothing remained to mark the grave. And yet I longed to see the +place; the tide of battle had at last receded; at least I might see what +was left of the trench where the boy had fallen, and have something to +tell his mother on my return. So I had set my heart, originally, on +working for the Y.M.C.A. in Flanders. Had I been given my way about +that, very little that I have now to tell could possibly have happened. + +It was ordained, however, that I should go to France, and a long way +down the Line, an impossible journey from my secret goal. To be honest, +I had a voice in this myself, and even readily acquiesced in the +arrangement; for there were sound reasons for taking the first opening +that offered; and on reflection I saw myself the unsoundness of my first +position. After all, I was not going out for secret or for private ends; +and even in Flanders, what means or what authority should I have had for +hunting among graves, marked or unmarked? What guide could I have hoped +to get to show me all I wished to see, and what could I have seen or +done without a guide? Already the new plan spelt a providential +exclusion from a sphere of futile mortification and divided desires: to +France I went, and with an easy mind. And in France the first people I +saw, in my first hut, as customers across the counter, were the boy's +old Division! + +I suppose the odds against that must have been fairly long. Of all the +Divisions in the B.E.F. only three were plying between our town and the +Line; and of those three that Division was one. It was, moreover, the +one that we saw most of in the Ark. Theirs were the pink barracks just +outside our gates; it was their cinema that lay across our bows in the +mud; their motley Battalions that could make the hut a Babel of all the +dialects in Great Britain. The boy's Brigade was up the Line when I +arrived; in a few days it came down, and under the familiar regimental +cap-badge how eagerly I sought the faces that looked old enough to have +three years' service! They are the veterans of this war; but few, it +seemed, were left. Did I discover one, he had not been in B Company. I +grew ashamed of questioning. It was not before the Brigade had been up +the Line for another sixteen days, and come back again, that a little +hard-bitten man aroused fresh hopes and passed all tests. He had not +only been in the Regiment at the time, but in B Company; not only in B +Company, but in the boy's Platoon; there when he fell; one of the burial +party! + +We had a long talk in the inner room. It appeared there were two other +survivors of the old Platoon; the Sergeant, as I knew to my sorrow, had +died Company Sergeant-Major at Passchendaele. Of the other two, one in +particular, now a bandsman but in 1915 a stretcher-bearer, could tell me +everything: he should come and see me himself. He never did come, and I +saw no more of the little man who promised to send him. Once again they +all went up the Line, and by the time that tour was over I had deserted +the hut near their barracks. The little man called there and left a +message; it was to say he was going on leave for three weeks, and the +Battalion were going away to rest. When they all got back, he would +bring the bandsman to see me without fail. + +It is a long story; but then Coincidence (or what we will) was +stretching a very long arm. Coincidence (at least in the literal sense) +was indeed stretching out both arms: one of them was busy all this time +at distant Ypres. An unknown friend there, remotely connected with the +boy's people, thought he had discovered the boy's grave. He had written +home to say so; the news was sent out to me, and we got into +correspondence. He had searched the shell-blasted farm-yard where the +burial was known to have taken place, and he had discovered--evidence. +Some of this evidence he eventually sent me: a cheap French or Flemish +watch, red with the rust and mould of a soldier's grave: just the watch +that a boy would buy at the nearest town for his immediate needs. Now, +at the time of his death, this boy's watch was being mended in London; +therefore, the one now in my hands was good evidence as far as it went. +A boot-strap had been found as well, and something else that tallied +terribly; on the strength of all this testimony, and of an instinctive +certainty in the mind of our unknown friend, a new cross already marked +the site of these discoveries. He wanted me to see the place for myself, +and as soon as possible, in case the enemy should make his expected +thrust in that quarter. Nor could I have gone too soon for my own +satisfaction. Grave or no grave (for I could not quite share his +sanguine conviction), I longed to grasp the hand of a man who had done +so much for people he had never met: and to see all there was to see +with my own eyes. + +But it is not so easy to travel sixty miles up or down the Line. It is a +question of permits, which take some getting, and of facilities which +very properly do not exist. Military railways are not for the transport +of civilian camp-followers on private business; moreover, they do go +slow when there is no military occasion for much speed; and I had my +work, when all was said. But my luck (if you like) was in again. The +first old friend that I had met in France was a friend in a higher place +than I may say. Already he had shown himself my friend indeed; now, in +my need---- But here the coincidences multiply, and must be kept +distinct. + +On the very morning I heard from Ypres--with the watch and the +invitation--I was due to visit this old friend in another part +altogether. He sent his car for me, the splendid man. I showed him my +letter from Ypres. + +'You will have to go,' he said. + +'But how?' + +'In my car.' + +'Sixty miles!' + +(It was much more from where he was.) + +'You can have it for two days.' + +I could not thank him; nor can I here. How can a man speak for the +mother of an only child, whose grave he was to see with her eyes as well +as with his own, so that one day he might tell her all? Without a car, +in fine, the thing was impossible. There are no thanks for actions such +as this: none that words do not belittle. A day was fixed, ten days +ahead; this gave me time to write to the boy's mother, and gave her time +to send direct to Ypres all the bulbs and plants that she could get, to +make her child's bed as gay that spring as he himself had been all the +days they were together. + +And yet--and yet--_was_ it his grave that had been found? _Was_ the +evidence as good as it seemed? I was going all the way to Ypres on the +strength of that local evidence only. If I could but have taken one or +other of those two men who were there when it happened in 1915! But one +of them was away on leave, his three weeks not nearly up; the other, the +bandsman who knew most of all, might or might not be with the Battalion; +but the Battalion itself was still away. I found that out for certain on +the morning of the day before I was to start. They were still resting +many kilometres back. I had no means of getting to them, even if I had +had the right sort of desire; but the fact was that everything had come +about so beautifully without one move of mine, that I was quite +consciously content to drift in the current of an unfathomable +influence. + +That afternoon there came to my hut, for no particular reason that he +ever told me, a man I had not met before. He was the Senior Chaplain of +the boy's Division. We made friends, by what steps I cannot remember, +but I must have told him where I was going next day. He was interested. +I told him the whole thing. He said: 'But surely there must be somebody +in the Battalion that you could take with you, to identify the place?' I +told him there was such a man, a bandsman, but the Battalion was away +resting and I was not sure but that the man himself was on leave. Said +the Chaplain: 'I can find out. I know where they are. I can get them on +the telephone. If you don't hear from me again, go round their way in +the morning when you get the car. It's ten kilometres in the wrong +direction, but it may be worth your while.' + +Worth my while! I did not hear from him again; not a word all that +anxious evening to spoil the prospect he had opened up; and in the +morning came the car, a powerful limousine, mine for the next two days! +My pass from the A.P.M. was for Ypres only, but I did not think of that. +In less than an hour we had found those rest-billets among ploughed +fields at peace in the spring sunshine; and at the right regimental +headquarters, a young Corporal ready waiting in his field overcoat. It +_was_ the bandsman: he who had been nearest to the boy at the very last, +to whose special care his dear body had been committed. The living man +who had most to tell me! + +And the first thing he told me showed what a mercy it was to have him +with me; but at the moment it came as a shock. I had shown him the +watch; he had shaken his head. No watch had been buried with the boy; of +that the Corporal was unshakably certain; and he was the man to know, +the man whose duty it had been to make sure at the time. Away went our +strongest piece of evidence! Then I told him about the boot-strap, +always a doubtful item in my own mind; and the Corporal swept it aside +at once. The boy had not worn boots with straps; he had worn ordinary +laced boots and puttees; exactly as I had been thinking at the back of +my mind. He had not been out many weeks, and I knew every noble inch of +him that went away. So, after all, it was not his grave that had been +found! That would have been a grievous blow but for the transcending +thought--it was not his grave that had been disturbed! And we might +never have known but for this young soldier at my side who was saying +quite confidently that he could show me where the grave really was! One +of--at most--three living men who could! + +Who had brought him to my side--at the last moment--the very man I +wanted--the one man needful? + +To be sure, the Senior Chaplain of their Division; but why should the +Senior Chaplain, a man I never saw before, have come to my hut in the +nick of time to do me this service, so definitely desired? Why should I +myself have come to the very place in France where the Division was +waiting for me--the one place where I had also an old friend with a car +to lend me when the time came? Why had I not gone to Belgium (to be near +the boy) as I at first intended? And why, at that very time, should a +complete stranger have been making entirely independent efforts to find +the grave in Belgium that I yearned to see? + +'Chance' is no answer, unless the word be held to cover an organic +tissue of chances, each in turn closely related to some other chance, +all component parts of a chance whole! And what sensation novelist would +build a plot on such foundations and hope to make his tale convincing? +Not I, at my worst; and there were more of these chances still to come, +albeit none that mattered as did those already recounted. + +Nor is there very much left to tell that bears telling here. In Ypres I +did not find my great unknown friend; he had warned me, when it was too +late to alter plans, that he might be called home on a private matter; +and this had happened. But he had told me I should find his 'trusty +Sergeant,' who had taken part in the investigations, ready to help me in +every way; and so, indeed, I did. The man was, among other things, an +enthusiastic amateur gardener; he had known exactly what to do with the +bulbs and plants, which he had unpacked on their arrival and was keeping +nice and moist for next morning. But this was not the first thing we +had to talk about. The first thing was to impress upon the Sergeant the +importance of not letting my witness know that a new cross had been put +up, and so to ensure absolutely independent identification of the spot. +He gave me his promise, and I know he kept it. + +Next morning, under a leaden February sky, the three of us drove north +in the car, accompanied by a second Sergeant with digging tools, in case +the bandsman located the grave elsewhere and I was bent upon some proof. +At the time I did not know why he was with us; later, the quiet little +fact above spoke volumes for the good faith of the party. It was +completed by a young Catholic Padre from Ypres, so that the only office +which the boy had lacked at the hands of his dear men might now be +fulfilled. + +I am following the course we took upon a military map given to the boy's +father by one of the many officers who had befriended him in his +trouble; and I had been prepared for the thickening cluster of +shell-holes further on by more than one aeroplane photograph sent from +Army Headquarters. O that all whom this war has robbed of their hearts' +delight could know, as this father knows, how the huge heart of the Army +is with them in their sorrow! There was the Army Commander, who had +done what he could for a man he met but once by chance; it was not much +that even he could do, but how more than readily it had been done! And +now here in the car, itself a tangible sign of infinite compassion, were +these N.C.O.'s and this young priest, with their grave faces and their +kind eyes! One's heart went out to them. It seemed all wrong to be +taking men, who any day might be in theirs, to see a soldier's grave in +cold blood. So we fell to discussing the sky, the mud, and such +landmarks as remained, quite simply and naturally, as the boy himself +would have wished. + +'Plains that the moonlight turns to sea,' the boy had quoted in +describing the plain we were crossing now; but it had become a broken +plain since his time; covered with elephant huts and pill-boxes, scored +by light railways; the roads on which no man might live in those days, +themselves alive with traffic in these, with lorries and men and all the +abundant activities of a host behind a host. The car stopped one or two +hundred yards from our destination, towards which we threaded our way +over duck-boards, through and past these mushroom habitations, till we +came to the green open space which was all that remained of the farm. +Not a stone or a brick to be seen; not even a heap of bricks, or a +charred beam, or the empty socket of pillar or post; only the two +gate-posts themselves, looking like the stumps of trees. But what better +than a gateway to give a man his bearings? It led the bandsman straight +to a regular file of such stumps, which really had been trees: and in +his path stood a white cross, new and sturdy, at which I had been +looking all the time: at which he stopped without looking twice, still +studying the ground and the bits of landmarks that survived. It was the +place. + +It was the boy's grave; and the discoverer's--nay, the +diviner's--instinct stood vindicated as wonderfully as his evidence had +been discredited. Almost adjoining it was a great shell-hole full of +water; but it was not our grave that the shell had rifled. Our grave had +been dug too deep. It was as though the boy himself had said: 'It's my +grave all right--but I don't want you to go thinking those were my +things! All that was me or mine is just as they left it.' + +So we took off our helmets and stood listening to the young priest +reading the last office, in Latin first and then in English. And many of +the beautiful sentences were punctuated by loud reports, which I took +for our guns if I thought of them at all; for as yet I had heard hardly +anything else down south; but after the service I saw little black +balloons appearing by magic in mid-air, expanding into dingy cloudlets, +and presently dissolving shred by shred. It was enemy shrapnel all the +time. + +Then the two Sergeants prepared the ground with gentle skill; and we +knelt and put in the narcissus bulbs, the primroses and pinks, the phlox +and the saxifrage, that the boy's mother had sent him; and a baby +rose-tree from an old friend who loved him, in the corner of England +that he loved best; it must be climbing up his cross, if it has lived to +climb at all. + +The clouds had broken before the service ended with the sprinkling of +Holy Water; and now between the shell-bursts, while we were yet busy +planting, came strains of distant music, as thin and faint and valiant +as the February sunshine. It was one of our British bands, perhaps at +practice in some safe fold of the famous battle-field, more likely +assisting at some ceremonial further away than I imagined; for they +seemed to be playing very beautifully; and when they finished with 'Auld +Lang Syne' they could not have hung more pathetically upon the closing +bars if they had been playing at our graveside, for the boy who always +loved a band. + +Then there was his trench to see; but it was full of water where it had +not fallen in, and was not like a trench any more. And the _estaminet_ +at the cross-roads, that cruelly warm corner whence he passed into +peace, it too had vanished from the earth. But the gentle slope that had +been No-Man's Land was much as he must have seen it in anxious summer +dawns, and under the stars that twinkled on so many of his breathless +adventures in the early bombing days, when he pelted Germans in their +own trench with his own hand, and thought it all 'a jaunt'; thought it +'just like throwing in from cover'; declared it 'as safe as going up to +a man's front door-bell--pulling it--and running off again!' + +Well, this was where he had played those safe games; and true enough, it +was not by them he met his death, but standing-to down there under +shell-fire, on a summer's morning after his own heart, with eyes like +the summer sky turned towards the same line of trees my eyes were +beholding now, his last thought for his men. I could almost hear his +eager question: + +'Is everybody all right?' + +They were the boy's last words. + +Did I enter into the spirit of all that last chapter of his dear life +the better for being on the scene, and watching shrapnel burst over it +even as he had watched it a thousand times? I cannot say I did. I doubt +if I could have entered into it more than I always had ... we were such +friends. But how _he_ must be entering into the whole spirit of my whole +pilgrimage! It was like so much of his old life and mine. Always he knew +that he had only to call and I would come to him, at school or wherever +he was; many a time I had jumped into a car and gone, though he never +did call me in his life. _Had he now?_ ... There was my friend's car +waiting, as it might have been once more in the lane opposite 'the old +grey Chapel behind the trees.' ... And here were we passengers, a party +from the four winds, all brought together by different agencies for the +same simple end. Who had brought us? Who had prompted or inspired those +directly responsible for our being there? It was not, you perceive, a +case of one god from a machine, but of three at the very least. Who had +so beautifully arranged the whole difficult thing? + +Even to that band! But for 'Auld Lang Syne' one might not take it +seriously for a moment; but remembering those searching strains, and the +pathos put into them, the early hour, the wild place, the bursting +shrapnel, who can help the flash of fancy? Not one who will never forget +the boy's gay, winning knack of getting bands to play what he wanted; +this was just the tune he would have called, that we might all join +hands and not forget him, yet remember cheerily for his sake! + +But it all _had_ been as he would have had it if he could: not one +little thing like that, but the whole big thing he _must_ have wanted: +all granted to him or his without their mortal volition at any stage. +Chances or accidents, by the chapter, if you will! No man on earth can +prove the contrary; and yet there are few, perhaps, who have lost their +all in this war, and who would not thank God for such a string of +happenings. But one does not thank God for a chain of chances. And if +any link was of His forging, why not the whole chain, as two thankful +people dare to think? + + + + +THE REST HUT + +(_February-March, 1918_) + + +FRESH GROUND + +It was not my inspiration to run one of our huts entirely as a library +for the troops. I was merely the fortunate person chosen to conduct the +experiment. In most of the huts there was already some small supply of +books for circulation, and at our headquarters in the town a dusty +congestion of several hundred volumes which nobody had found time to +take in hand. The idea was to concentrate these scattered units, to +obtain standard reinforcements from London and the base, indent for all +the popular papers and magazines, and go into action as a Free Library +at the Front. It was at first proposed to do without any kind of a +canteen; but I was all against driving a keen reader elsewhere for his +tea, and held out for light refreshments after four and cigarettes all +the time. On this and many other points I was given my way in a fashion +that would have fired anybody to make the venture a success. + +The hut placed at my disposal was a very good one in the middle of the +town, indeed within the palisade of the once magnificent Town Hall. That +grandiose pile had been knocked into mountains of rubbish, with the mere +stump of its dizzy belfry still towering over all as the Matterhorn of +the range. These ruins formed one side of a square like a mouthful of +bad teeth, all hollow stumps or clean extractions; our upstart hut was +the only whole building of any sort within sight. It had a better saloon +than my last land-ship; on the other hand, it was infested with rats +from the surrounding wrecks. They would lope across the floor under +one's nose, or dangle their tails from the beams overhead, and I slept +with a big stick handy. + +Relays of peace-time carpenters, borrowed from their units for a day or +two each, fell upon all the benches and table-tops they required, and +turned them into five long tiers of book-shelves behind the counter. In +the meantime our own Special Artist was busy on a new and noble scheme +of decoration, and two or three of us up to our midriffs in the first +thousand books. They were a motley herd: the sweepings of unknown +benefactors' libraries, the leavings of officers and men, cunning shafts +from the devout of all denominations, and the first draft of cheap +masterpieces from the base. Classification was beyond me, even if time +had been no object: how could one classify 'The Sol of Germany,' 'A +Yorkstireman Alroad,' 'The Livinz Waze,' 'From Workhouse to Westminster: +Life-Story of With Gooks, M.P.' (four copies), or even the books these +titles stood for in the typewritten catalogue that arrived (from Paris) +too late to entertain us? All authors in alphabetical order seemed the +simplest principle; and in practice even that arrangement ran away with +days. + +Then each volume had to be labelled (over the publishers' imprint on the +binding) and the labels filled in with the letter and number of each in +one's least illegible hand; and this took more days, though the rough +draft of the catalogue emerged simultaneously; and the merit of the +plan, if any, was that the catalogue order eventually coincided with +that of the actual books on the shelves. The drawback was that books +kept dropping in or turning up too late for insertion in their proper +places. I could think of no better way out of this difficulty than by +resorting to a large Z class, or dump, for late-comers. This met the +case though far from satisfying my instincts for the rigour of a game. +Another time (this coming winter, for instance, when I hope to have it +all to do again) I shall be delighted to adopt some more approved method +of dealing with a growing library; last spring one had to do the best +one could by the light of nature. Nevertheless, there was not much amiss +(except the handwriting) with the clean copy (in carbon duplicate) of a +catalogue which ran to a good many thousand words, and kept two of us +out of bed till several successive midnights; for by this time I had a +staunch confederate who took the whole thing as seriously as I did, and +perhaps even found it as good fun. + +We had hoped to open--it was really very like producing a play--early in +February, but a variety of vicissitudes delayed the event until the +twentieth of the month. As the day approached we had many visitors, who +had heard of our effort and were prepared to spread our fame; time was +well lost in showing them round, and I confess I enjoyed the job. They +had to begin by admiring the scraper. It was perhaps the worst scraper +in Europe--I ached for a week from sinking its two uprights into harder +chalk with a heavier pick-axe than I thought existed--but it was +symbolical. It meant that you could leave the mud of war outside our +hut; but I am afraid the first thing to be seen inside was inconsistent +with this symbol. It was the complete _Daily Mail_ sketch-map of the +Western Front, the different sheets joined together and mounted on the +locked door opposite the one in use. The feature of this feature was +that the Line was pegged out from top to bottom with the best red-tape +procurable in the town. It toned delightfully with the art-green of the +sketch-map. + +In the ordinary Y.M.C.A. nobody would have seen it! In winter, at any +rate, it is dusk at high noon in the ordinary hut, which is lighted only +by canvas windows under the eaves. In our hut, however, we had a pair of +fine skylights, expressly cut to save our readers' eyes, and glazed with +some shimmering white stuff which seemed to increase the light, like a +fall of snow, instead of slightly diluting it like the best of glass. +The side windows glistened with the same material, so that a dull day +seemed to clear up as you entered. Between the skylights stood four +trestle tables under one covering of American cloth, whereon the day's +papers, magazines and weeklies, were to be displayed club-fashion; the +writing tables, likewise in American cloth, were arranged under the side +windows; and at an even distance from either end of the fourfold reading +table were the two stoves. One stove is the ordinary hut-allowance. + +Round each stove ran a ring of canvas and wicker arm-chairs, in which a +tired man might read himself to sleep, and between the chairs stood +little round tables for his tea and biscuits when he woke. They were +garden tables painted for the part, with spidery black legs and bright +vermilion tops, and on each a nice new ash-tray (of the least possible +intrinsic value, I admit) in further imitation of the club smoking-room. +That was the atmosphere I wanted for the body of the hut. + +At the platform end we were ready for anything, from itinerant lecturers +to the most local preacher, and from hymns to comic songs; the best +piano in the area was equal to any strain; and a somewhat portentous +rostrum, though not knocked together for me, was just my height, while +the American cloth in which we found it was a dead match for our +extensive importations of that fabric. It was at this end of the hut +that our Special Artist and Decorator had excelled himself. All down the +sides were his frieze of flags, his dado of red and white cotton in +alternate stripes, and his own extraordinarily effective chalk drawings +on sheets of brown paper between the windows. But for the angle under +the roof, over the platform, he had reserved his masterpiece. One day, +while we were still busy with the books, our handy man of genius had +stood for an hour or two on a ladder; and descending, left behind him a +complete allegorical cartoon of Literature, including many life-size +figures in flowing robes busy with the primitive tools of one's trade. +I am not an art critic, like my friend the war correspondent, who +ruthlessly detected faults in drawing, instead of applauding all we had +to show him; to me, the pride of our walls was at least a remarkable +_tour de force_. The Official Photographer was to have come at a later +date to witness if I exaggerate. He left it too long. He may have +another chance this winter. 'Literature' has been preserved. + +These private views too often started at the counter, because visitors +had a way of entering through my room; but to see the library as I do +think it deserved seeing, one had to turn one's back upon all I have +described, and with a proper piety bear down upon the books. In their +five long shelves, each edged and backed with the warm red cotton of the +dado, and broken only by my door behind the counter, those thirty yards +of good and bad reading were wholly good to see, on our opening day +especially, before the first borrower had made the first gap in their +serried ranks. There indeed stood they at attention, their labels at the +same unwavering height as so many pairs of puttees (except the few I had +not affixed myself); and I felt that I, too, had turned a mob into an +army. + +Immediately over the top row, on a scroll expertly lettered by our +Special Illuminator (another of our talented band), its own new motto, +from Thomas à Kempis, ran right across the hut: + +_Without Labour there is no Rest; nor without Fighting can the Victory +be Won._ + +I really think I was as pleased with that, on the morning I thought of +it in bed (having just decided to call the hut The Rest Hut), as +Thackeray is said to have been when he danced about his bedroom +crying--'"Vanity Fair"! "Vanity Fair"! "Vanity Fair"!' But I only once +heard a remark upon our motto from the men. 'Well, that's logic anyhow!' +said one when he had read it out across the counter. I could have wished +for no better comment from a soldier. + +Higher still, in the angle of the roof at this end, the flags of the +Allies enfolded the Sign of the Rest Hut, which was an adaptation of the +Red Triangle. I was having a slightly more elaborate version compressed +into a rubber stamp for all literary matter connected with the hut. + +The rubber stamp did not arrive in time for the opening; nor had there +been time to stick our few rules into more than a few of the books. But +I had a paste-pot and a pile of these labels ready on the counter. And +since we _are_ going into details, one may as well swing for the whole +sheep:-- + + THE REST HUT LIBRARY + (=Y.M.C.A.=) + + _This book may be taken out on a deposit of =1 franc.= + which will be returned when the book is brought back._ + + _Books cannot be exchanged more than once daily, and + no Reader is entitled to more than one volume at a + time._ + + _A book may be kept as long as required: but in each + other's interests Readers are begged to return all + books as soon as they conveniently can, and in as good + order as possible._ + +Frankly, we flattered ourselves on dispensing with time-limit and fine; +and in practice I can commend that revolutionary plan to other amateur +librarians. Obviously you are much less likely to get a book back at all +if you want more money with it. You shall hear in what circumstances +many of ours were to come back, and at what touching trouble to men of +whom one can hardly bear to think to-day. + +But all the books were not for circulation; a Poetry and Reference Shelf +bestrode my end of the counter. Duplicate Poets were to be allowed out +like novels; but they were not expected to have many followers. A more +outstanding feature, perhaps the apple of the librarian's glasses was +the New Book Table, just in front of the counter at the same end. I +thought a tableful of really new books would be tremendously attractive +to the real readers, that their mere appearance might convey a certain +element of morale. So one long day I had spent upon fifteen begging +letters to fifteen different publishers--not the same begging letter +either, for some of them I knew and some knew me not wisely but too +well. On the whole the fifteen played up, and the New Book Table was +well and truly spread for the inaugural feast. The novelties were to +grace it for a fortnight before going into the catalogue; and we started +with quite a brave display. There were travels and biographies, new +novels and books of verse, all spick-and-span in their presentation +wrappers; and we arranged them most artistically on a gaudy table-cloth +that cost thirty francs; with a large cardboard mug (by our Illuminator) +warning other mugs off the course. And I think that really is the last +of our preparations, unless I mention the receptacles for waste-paper, +which proved quite unable to compete against the floor. + +They were, I daresay, the most fatuously faddy and elaborate +preparations ever made for a library which might be blown sky-high at +any moment by a shell. I had not forgotten that none too remote +contingency. But it was the last thing I wanted any man to remember +from the moment he crossed our threshold. We were just about five miles +from the Germans, and I had gone to work exactly as I should in the +peaceful heart of England. But that was just where I wanted a man to +think himself--until he stepped back into the War. + + +OPENING DAY + +It really _was_ rather like a first night; but there was this +intimidating difference, that whereas the worst play in the world draws +at least one good house, we were by no means certain of that measure of +success. Our venture had been announced, most kindly, in Divisional +Orders, as well as verbally at the Y.M. Cinema; but still we knew it was +not everybody who believed in us, and that 'a wash-out' had been +predicted with some confidence. Even those in authority, who had most +handsomely given me my head, were some of them inclined to shake theirs +over the result. It was therefore an exciting moment when we opened at +two o'clock on the appointed afternoon. There was more occasion for +excitement when I had to lock the door for the last time some weeks +later; and the two disappointments are not to be compared; but my +private cup has seldom filled more suddenly than when I unlocked it with +my own hand--and beheld not one solitary man in sight! 'A wash-out' was +not the word. It was my Niagara. + +At least it looked like it; but after one bad quarter of an hour it +turned into a steady trickle of repentant warriors. If the two of us +had been holding a redoubt against the enemy, I am not sure that we +should have been more delighted to see them than we were. In half an +hour the big reading table was surrounded by solemn faces; each of the +two stoves had its full circle in the easy chairs; the New Book Table +had been discovered, was being thronged, and the best piano in the area +yielding real music to the touch of a real pianist. The Rest Hut had +started on its short but happy voyage. + +Those there were who came demanding candles and boot-polish, and who +fled before our softest answers; and there were seekers after billiards +who had to be directed elsewhere for their game. I had tipped too many +cues at the last hut, and stopped too many games for the further +performance of that worse than thankless task, to have the essential +quality of the Rest Hut subverted by a billiard-table. The readers, +writers, musicians, and above all the weary men, of an Army Corps were +the fish for my rod; and we had not been open an hour before I was +enjoying good sport, tempered by early misgiving about my flies. + +The first book that I connect with a specific inquiry was one that I had +certainly failed to order. It was 'anything of Walter de la Mare's'; and +I felt a Philistine for having nothing, but a fool for supposing for a +moment that I had pitched my hut within the boundaries of Philistia. +There might have been a conspiracy to undeceive me on the point without +delay. The Poetry Shelf (despite deficiencies so promptly proven) +received attention from the start. I forget if it was Mr. de la Mare's +admirer who presently took out _The Golden Treasury_, of which we +mercifully had several copies; it was certainly a Jock. I showed him the +Shelf, and could have wrung his hand for the tone in which he murmured +'Keats!' It was reverential, awe-stricken and just right. Clearly _his_ +Dominie had not abused the taws. + +In the meantime I had taken a deposit on three prose volumes. These were +they, these the first three authors to cross my counter: + +1. George Meredith: _The Ordeal of Richard Feverel_. + +2. Robert Louis Stevenson: _Across the Plains_. + +3. Hilaire Belloc: _Mr. Clutterbuck's Election_. + +As I say, it seemed like a conspiracy--but I swear I was not one of the +conspirators! They were--my benefactor already--the pianist, and his +friends; three young privates in the R.A.M.C., all afterwards great +friends of mine. Of course, this form was too good to be true of the +mass; and the particular Field Ambulance to which they belonged was an +unusually brainy unit, as I came to know it through many other +representatives; but I shall always be grateful to that musical young +Meredithian for the start he gave me, and may this mite of +acknowledgment meet his spectacles. + +On the same opening page of my first day-book, to be sure, a less +rarefied level is reached by some comparatively pedestrian stuff, +including a work of Mr. Charles Garvice and no fewer than two wastrels +'of my own composure' (as the village organist had it); but my place +(though gratifying) was obviously due to an ulterior curiosity; and +among the twenty-three books in all that went out that afternoon, there +was a further burst of four that went far to restore the higher +standard: they were _Lorna Doone_, _My Novel_, _Nicholas Nickleby_ and +_Oliver Twist_. The two first fell to Jocks; the Blackmore masterpiece +was read forthwith from cover to cover in the trenches, and that Jock +came down by special permission for something else as good! + +A happy afternoon, and of still happier omen! But I was going to need +more 'good stuff'; that was the first hard fact to be faced. I had not +reckoned with those eager intellectuals, the young stretcher-bearers who +had borne a lantern for the nonce. They were going to bring their +friends, and did; and were I to tabulate the books these youths took out +between them, in the busy month to come, it would be pronounced, I +think, as good a little library as a modern young man, with a +sociological bias and a considered outlook, could wish to form. And then +there were all the books we hadn't got for them! But these missing +friends did more, perhaps, to make friends for the Rest Hut than such as +were there to close the subject; for one might be able to suggest +something else instead; and the man might have read that already, but +his face might lighten at the recollection, and across the counter on +our four elbows the pair of us forge that absent book into the first +link of friendship. + +But any one can gossip about the books he loves, and with a soldier at +the front any fool could talk on any topic. So I had it both ways, as +one seldom does, according to the saying. It may be that the men who +found their pleasure in the Rest Hut were by nature responsive and +enthusiastic, and not merely sensitised and refined by the generous +fires of constant camaraderie and unselfish suffering. I am speaking of +them now only as I found them across that narrow counter, while I +deliberately pasted my label of rules inside the cover, and deliberately +dabbed my rubber-stamp down on the fly-leaf opposite. I have seen clean +into a noble heart between these delaying rites and a meticulous entry +in my day-book. It was pain to me when three or four were waiting their +turn, and a certain despatch became imperative; it always meant a +corresponding period without any work or any friend-making across the +counter. + +At the short end, beyond the flap (never lowered in the Rest Hut), my +friend and mate dispensed the cigarettes and biscuits, and tea made with +devoted care by a wrinkled Frenchwoman worth all the Y.M.C.A. orderlies +I ever saw, not excepting the two stalwarts at the Ark. The Rest Hut +orderly was a smart soldier of the old type, a clever carpenter, and a +good cook with large ideas about breakfast. He lived out, did not give +us his whole time, and early struck me as a man of mystery; but he was a +quick and willing worker who did his part by us. The jewel of the hut's +company was my mate. I can only describe him as an Australian Jock, and +of the first water on both sides. Twice or thrice rejected in Australia, +he had come home to try again and yet again with no better luck; so here +he was, with his fine heart and his dry cough, as near the firing-line +as he could get 'for the duration.' I may lose a friend for having said +so much, yet I have to add that he had taken the whole burden of the +till and its attendant accounts (a hut-leader's business) off the +shoulders of inexperience. Friends who predicted the worst of me in +this connection, and are surprised to see me still outside a defaulter's +cell, will please accept the only explanation. + +It was a musical tea that opening afternoon, for another of our talented +troupe brought the pick of his orchestra from the Association Cinema in +the main street hard by; and for an hour it was like the Carlton, with a +difference. I wonder what the Carlton could charge for that difference, +even at this stage of the war! + +Altogether I thought myself the luckiest civilian alive that February +afternoon; but my bed of roses had its crumpled leaf. On the fine great +cardboard programme for the week (next the map: our Illuminator again), +with its cunning slots for moveable amusements, besides that of the +Cinema Orchestra there was something about Prayers. That was where I was +coming in--on the wrong side of the counter--and as the night advanced +it blew a gale inside me. Five minutes before the time, I mounted the +platform and made known the worst; and ever afterwards finished the +evening by pursuing the same plan, so that all who wished could +withdraw, losing only the last five minutes, and no man (I promised +them) have anything unpalatable thrust down his throat. I am not sure +that it was the most courageous method of procedure; but it was mine, +and the men knew where they were. I used to read a few verses, a Vailima +Prayer and but one or two more: some men went out, but there was the +satisfaction of feeling that those who stayed were in the mood for +Prayers. + +After the first week or ten days, a third worker came to help us; and he +being a minister, I persuaded him to relieve me of this nightly duty, +though with a sigh that was not all relief. I always loved reading to +the men, but Prayers are shy work for an old layman, and soldiers (if I +know them) care less for the deathless composition of a Saint than for +the unpremeditated outpouring of the man before their eyes. The minister +used to give them all that, perched on a chair in their midst; and he +kept a much fuller hut than I at my rostrum of American cloth. + + +THE HUT IN BEING + +I had thought of finishing my account of our opening day with the +impressions of a Corporal in the A.S.C., as recorded in his diary that +very night. But though the extract reached me in a most delightful way, +and though decency would have disqualified the flattering estimate of +'the Superintendent' (as 'a man of cheery temperament'), on examination +none of it quite fits in. As description it covers, though with the +fleeter pen of youth, ground on which I have already loitered: enough +that it was all 'a big surprise' to him: 'a "home from home"' already to +one soldier of a literary turn, and likely in his opinion to prove a joy +to 'some of the lonely hearts of the lads in khaki.' _Q.E.F._ + +And though it was weeks and months before the Corporal's testimony came +to hand, it felt from the beginning as though we really had 'done it.' I +say 'it felt,' because there was something in those few thousand cubic +feet of air that one could neither see nor hear; something atmospheric, +and yet far transcending any atmosphere, whether of the smoking-room or +library or what-not, that we had thought to create; for it was something +the men had brought with them, nothing that we had ready. Just as they +say on the stage that it is the audience who do half the acting, so it +was the soldiers who fought half our little battle--and the winning +half. + +Each of those first days the hut seemed fuller than the day before; more +men came early and stayed late; more were to be counted napping round +the stoves (as in my rosiest visions) at the same time; more and more +books were taken out; and better books, because it was the +better-educated men who came flocking in, the intellectual pick of an +Army Corps who made our hut their club. If ever a dream came true, if +ever a reality excelled an ideal, it was in the wonderful success of our +little effort. Little enough, in all conscience; a bubble in the tide of +travail; but it is only in little that these delightful flukes come off, +and the bubble was soon enough to burst. + +In the meantime there were elements of imperfection even in our Rest +Hut: one or two things, and on both sides of the counter, to pique a +passion for the impeccable. + +To begin with the books, we really had _not_ enough Good Stuff. Not +nearly! Nor am I thinking only, nor yet chiefly, of Good Stuff in the +shape of narrative fiction. It is true that we had not Merediths enough, +nor a supply of Wessex Novels in any way equal to the demand among my +Red Cross friends (who read infernally fast) and others of the elect; +nor did the two complete Kipling sets, ordered long before the library +was opened, ever look like coming. These authors we had only in odd +volumes, and few were the nights they spent upon their shelves. But a +novel-reader is a novel-reader, one can generally find him something; my +difficulty was in coping with another type altogether--the real +bookworm--who is far more particular about his food. Anything but novels +for this gentleman as I knew him at the front; and he was often the last +person one would have suspected of his particular tastes, sometimes a +very young gentleman indeed. There was one such, a rugged lad with a +strong Lancashire or Yorkshire accent, whom I thought I should never +suit. Lamb, Emerson, Ruskin and Carlyle, he demanded in turn as glibly +as Woodbines or Gold Flakes; but either I had them not, or they were +out. Macaulay's Essays happened to be in. 'The literary ones?' said the +boy, suspiciously, to my suggestion. 'I don't want the political!' I +remember he took a _Golden Treasury_ in the end; as already noted, I had +several copies, and needed every one. + +Then I found that I required a better selection of technical works of +all sorts. Engineers, especially, want engineering books and journals; +it is a rest to the fighting man to pursue his peace-time interests or +studies at the front. Nothing, one can well imagine, takes him out of +khaki quicker; and that is what his books are for, nor will he shut them +a worse soldier. Of devotional works, as I may have hinted, we opened +with a fair number; this was increased later by a strong consignment +from Tottenham Court Road. But it was impossible to be too strong on +that side--with a Division of Jocks in the sector! + +'It's the only subject that interests me,' said a tight-lipped Scottish +Rifleman, quite simply, on the third day. He was not a man I would have +surrendered to with much confidence on a dark night, but he had brought +back a book called _The Fact of Christ_, and he wanted something else in +the same category. Just then there was nothing; but with imbecile +temerity I did say we had a number of 'religious novels' by a lady of +great eminence. 'I'm no a believer in _her_,' was his only reply. I can +still see his grim ghost of a smile. Himmel help the Hun who sees it +first! + +The young man vanished for his sixteen days, and in his absence came the +bale of theology from Tottenham Court Road. + +'Now I've got something for you,' said I when I saw his keen face again; +and lifted off its shelf Dr. Norman Macleod's most weighty tome. I +cannot check the Parisian typist who rendered the title _Caraid nan +Gaidherl_; the subject, however, was the only one that interested the +Scottish Rifleman, and I took the tongue for his very own. My mistake! + +'But that'll be in Gaelic,' said he, without opening the book. 'I have +never studied Gaelic, though a Highlander born. Now, had it been +Hebrew,' and he really smiled, 'I micht have managed!' + +I saw he might; for obviously he had been a theological student when he +felt it incumbent upon him (especially as such) to play a Jock's part in +the Holy War. I saw, too, that his smile was shy and gentle in its +depths, only grim on top. I think, after all, he would have given his +last cigarette to a prisoner of anything like his own manhood. + +But there was one worse failure than any deficiency on our shelves, and +that, alas! was my own poor dear New Book Table. I had not looked after +it as I ought, and neither had my friend and fellow-worker; in my +eagerness to keep our respective departments ideally distinct, this +fancy one had fallen between two stools. Several of the new books were +missing before we actually missed one; then we took nightly stock, and +with mortifying results. At last it could go on no longer, and the new +books were replaced by old bound volumes of magazines, more difficult +to deport. But I was determined to have it out with the hut; and I chose +the next Sunday evening service, in the course of which I made it a rule +to have my say about things in general, for the delicate duty. + +I didn't a bit like doing it, as I held my regular readers above +suspicion, and they formed the bulk of the little congregation; and that +night I was in any case more nervous than I meant them to see, as for +once I had decided to tackle the 'sermon' myself. It was the first +evening of Summer Time; lamplight was unnecessary; and the splendid men +sitting at ease in the arm-chairs, which they had drawn up to the +platform end, or at the tables or on the floor, made a great picture in +the soft warm dusk. One candle glimmered at the piano, and one on that +egregious rostrum, as I stood up behind it and trembled in my boots. + +I told them the New Book Table had ceased to exist as such; that I had +prostrated myself before fifteen of my natural enemies, in order to +spread that table to their liking; but that there had been so many +desertions from my crack corps that we were obliged to disband it. Not +quite so pat as all that, but in some such words (and to my profound +relief) I managed to get a laugh, which enabled me to say I thought it +hard luck on the ninety-and-nine just persons that the hundredth man +should borrow books without going through the preliminary formalities. +But I added that if they came across any of the deserters, and would +induce them to return to their unit, I should be greatly obliged. They +were jolly enough to clap before I launched into my discourse, and it +was what their rum ration must have been to them. I wish as much could +be done for poor deacons before going over _their_ top. + +But the point is that at least one deserter did return next day; and +what touched me more, the little gifts of books, which they had taken to +bringing me for the library, increased and multiplied from that night. +Nor must I forget the humorist (not one of my high-brows) who +button-holed me on my way back to the counter:-- + +'Beg yer pardon, Mr. 'Ornung, but that pinchin' them new books--wasn't a +Raffles trick, was it?' + +But if we failed where I had thought we were doing something extra +clever, we met with great success in a less deliberate innovation for +which I can claim but little credit. + +In our quiet hut there was no need for the usual Quiet Room; but there +it was, at the platform end, as much use as in the heart of the Great +Sahara. I had thought of turning it into a little informal sort of +lecture-room, for readings and other entertainments which might not be +to everybody's taste. But I had no time to organise or run a side-show; +neither of us had a spare moment in the beginning. Though we never +opened in the morning, except to officers who cared to come in as +friends, there was plenty to do behind the scenes--parcels of new books +to unpack and acknowledge, supplementary catalogues to prepare--all +manner of preparations and improvements that took the two of us all our +time. Then my second mate, the minister, fell from Heaven--for he was +just our man. + +He had made a hobby of the literary evening in his Border parish; had +come out armed with a number of vivacious appreciations of his favourite +authors, the very thing for our Quiet Room. I handed it over to him +forthwith, and we embarked together upon a series of Quiet Room +Evenings, which I do believe were a joy to all concerned. At any rate we +always had an audience of forty or fifty enthusiasts, who took part in +the closing discussion, and in time might have been encouraged to put up +a better lecture than either of us. The minister, however, was very +good; and what he had cut out, in his unselfish pursuit of brevity, I +could sometimes put into a more ponderous performance at the end. It was +a greater chance than any that one got on Sunday evening; for though I +promise them there was never any previous idea of improving the +occasion, yet it was impossible to sit, pipe in mouth, chatting about +some great writer to that roomful of thinking, fighting men, and not to +touch great issues unawares. Life and death--wine and women--I almost +shudder to think what subjects were upon us before we knew where we +were! But a great, big, heavenly heart beat back at me, the composite +heart of fifty noblemen on easy terms with Death; and if they heard +anything worth remembering, it came from themselves as much as though +they had written the things down and handed them up to me to read out. I +have known an audience of young schoolboys as kindlingly responsive to a +man who loved them; but here were grown soldiers on the battle's brink; +and their high company, and their dear attention, what a pride and +privilege were they! + +If only it had been earlier in the season, not the very hush before the +hurricane! There were so many lives and works that we were going to +thresh out together--Francis Thompson's, for one. He had crept into our +evening with Edgar Allan Poe. I had promised them a long evening with +Francis; the stretcher-bearers, especially, were looking forward to it +as much as I was; but I had to send for the books, and they were not in +time. + +And on the last of these Quiet Room Evenings, a young lad in a Line +regiment had stayed behind and said: + +'May we have a lecture on Sir John Ruskin, sir?' + +I said of course they might--but I was not competent to deliver it +myself. His books were on the way, however, for there had been more than +one inquiry for them. They also arrived too late. + +I had never seen the boy before, nor did I again. I may this winter. He +shall have his 'lecture on Sir John Ruskin'--if I have to get it up +myself! + + +WRITERS AND READERS + +For my own ends I kept a kind of librarian's ledger, in which was +entered, under the author's name, every book that ever went out, +together with its successive dates of departure and return. This +amateurish scheme may not have been worth the labour it entailed, in +spare moments at the counter or last thing at night, after a turn-over +of perhaps a hundred volumes, many of which needed new labels before +retiring to the shelf. But I was never sorry I had let myself in for it. +Theoretically, one had only to look up a book in this ledger to tell +whether it was in or out; but in practice my reward was not then, but is +now, when I can see at a glance who really were our popular authors, and +which books of theirs were never without a partner, and which proved +wall-flowers. + +Statistics, however, are notoriously bad witnesses; and some of mine +would not stand cross-examination. Thus, take him for all in all, the +author of _The First Hundred Thousand_ may add the blue ribbon of the +Rest Hut to his collection; but then, we had practically all his books, +and some of them four or five deep. Nor was the one that had more +outings than anything of anybody's on our shelves on that account the +most popular; it may even have been the author's nearest approach to a +bad penny. On the other hand, our four copies of _The First Hundred +Thousand_ were out almost as long as we were open, and all four 'failed +to return.' As for its sequel, our only copy eloped with its first +partner: had all our authors been Ian Hays there would have been no +carrying on the library after the first hundred thousand seconds. + +The run on these two books was the more noteworthy in view of the +fighting reader's distaste for 'shop.' It was the flattering exception +to a very human rule; for I find, taking a good many days at random, +that while all but thirteen of every hundred issues were novels, less +than three of the thirteen were books about the war. Some forty-nine +readers out of fifty wanted something that would take them out of khaki, +and nearly nine out of ten pinned their faith to fiction. + +How many preferred a really good novel is another and a more invidious +matter; but nothing was more refreshing than the way the older masters +held their own. Dickens was in constant demand, especially among the +older men; and they really read him, judging by the days the immortal +works stayed out. Again, it was worth noting that here in France _A +Tale of Two Cities_ had twice as many readers as _Pickwick_, which came +next in order of popularity. Thackeray was not fully represented, but we +had all his best and they were always out. Of the Brontës we had next to +nothing, of Reade and Trollope far too little; but _It is Never too Late +to Mend_ enchanted a Sapper, a Machine Gunner, and a Red Cross man in +turn, while _Orley Farm_ would have headed our first day's list had it +been there in time. George Eliot was never without readers, but Miss +Braddon had more, and _The Woman in White_ only one! After Dickens, +however, the most popular Victorian was the first Lord Lytton. + +I confess it rejoiced my heart to hand out the protagonists of a +belittled age at least as freely as their 'opposite numbers' of the +present century. But I had my surprises. Scott (Sir Walter!) was a firm +wall-flower for the first fortnight; probably the Jocks knew him off by +heart; and, of course, the same thing may apply to their unnatural +neglect of the so-called Kaleyard School of other days. There was, at +any rate, nothing clannish about their reading. It was a Jock who took +_The Unspeakable Scot_ for its only airing; and more than three-fourths +of my Stevensonians were Sassenachs. But one could still conjure with +the name of Stevenson, as with many another made in his time. Mr. +Kipling's soldiers are adored by legions created in their image. Sir H. +Rider Haggard was never on the Rest House shelf. Messrs. Holmes and +Watson were the most flourishing of old firms, and Gerard the only +Brigadier taken seriously at my counter. Ruritania, too, got back some +of its own trippers from the Five Towns; for though you would have +thought there was adventure enough in the air we breathed, there was +more realism, and it was against the realism we all reacted. Mr. +Bennett, to be sure, did not occupy nearly enough space in our +capricious catalogue; neither, for that matter, did Mr. Weyman, Mr. +Galsworthy, Mr. Vachell, nor yet Miss Marie Corelli or Sir Thomas Hall +Caine. The fault was not mine, I can assure them. + +Mr. H. G. Wells, on the other hand, utilised a better chance by tying +with the author of _Arsène Lupin_, and just beating Mr. Phillips +Oppenheim, for a place it would be unprofitable to compute. Even they +could not live the pace of Mr. Charles Garvice, who in his turn +succumbed to the lady styled the Baroness Horsy by her fondest slaves; +to these two and to Miss Ethel Dell, among others I have or have not +presumed to mention, I could wish no greater joy than my job at that +counter when their books were coming in, and 'another by the same +author, if you've got one,' being urgently demanded in their place. The +most enthusiastic letter ever written for an autograph could not touch +the eager tone, the live eye, the parted lips of those unconscious +tributes. It is not the look you see in Mudie's as you wait your turn; +but I have seen it in small boys chasing pirates with 'Ballantyne the +Brave,' and in one old lady who fell in love every Sunday of her dear +life with the hero of _The Family Herald Supplement_. It was even better +worth seeing in a soldier with _Just a Girl_ in his ruthless hand, and +_The One Girl in the World_ trembling on a reverential tongue. The man +might have been performing prodigies of dreadful valour up the Line, but +his soul had been on leave with a lady in marble halls. + +There were two young Privates in the A.S.C. who bolted their Garvice at +about two days to the book; and two trim Corporals of the Rifle Brigade +who made as short work of the other magicians. This type of reader +always hunted in couples, sharing the most sympathetic of all the +passions, if not the books themselves, which would double the rate of +consumption. They were the hard drinkers at my bar; but the hardest of +all was a lean young Jock, who smiled as hungrily as Cassius, and +arrived punctually at six every evening to change his book. He looked +delicate, and was, I think, like other regular attendants, on light +duty in the town; in any case he took his bottle of fiction a day +without fail, and once, when it was raining, drained it under my nose +and wanted another. I refused to serve him. Unlike the other topers, he +was a sardonic critic. One night he banged the counter with a book in my +own old line, and the invidious comment: + +'He can do what _you_ no can!' + +I said I was sure, but inquired the special point of superiority. + +'He can kill his mon as often as he likes,' said McCassius, grimly, 'and +bring him to life again. Fufty times he has killed yon mon--fufty +times!' + +They were very nice to me about my books--but very honest! There was a +certain stretcher-bearer, a homely old fellow with a horse-shoe +moustache and mild brown eyes; not from the high-brow unit, but perhaps +a greater reader than any of them; and one of those who eschewed the +novel. _Scenes of Clerical Life_ (on top of Lenotre's _Incidents of the +French Revolution_, and our two little volumes of _Elia_) had been his +only dissipation until, our friendship ripening, he weighed me with his +tranquil eyes and asked for _Raffles_. I seemed to detect a streak of +filial piety in the departure, and gave him as fair warning as I could; +but only the book itself could put him off. He returned it without a +word to temper his forgiving smile, and took out _The Golden Treasury_ +as a restorative. Poetry he loved with all his gentle soul; but when, at +a later stage, he asked if I thought he could 'learn to write poetry,' +the wounds of vanity were at least anointed. + +He used to take down Mr. David Somervell's capital _Companion to the +Golden Treasury_ from the Poetry Shelf; and it was delightful to watch +his bent head wagging between text and note, a black-rimmed forefinger +creeping down either page, and his back as round as it could possibly +have been before the war. He told me he was a Northamptonshire shoemaker +by trade; and though you would trust him not to scamp a sole or bump a +stretcher, there was nothing to show that the war meant more to him than +his last, or life more than a chance of reading--the shadow lengthening +in the sunshine that he found in books. Once I said how I envied him all +that he had read; very gently--even for him--he answered that he owed it +all to his mother, who had taught him when he was so high, and would be +eighty-one come Tuesday. The man himself was only forty; but he was one +of those guileless creatures who make one unconsciously look up to them +as elders as well as betters. And at the front, where the old are so +gloriously young, and the young so pathetically old, nothing is easier +than to forget one's own age: often enough mine was brought home to me +with a salutary shock. + +'When I was up the Line,' said one of my friends, bubbling over with a +compliment, 'a chap said to me, "You know that old--that--that _elderly_ +man who runs the Rest Hut? He's the author of _Raffles_!"' + +Disastrous refinement! And the fellow grinned as though he had not +turned what might have been a term of friendship into one of pure +opprobrium. Elderly! One would as lief be labelled Virtuous or Discreet. + +Another of my poetry lovers did really write it--but not his own--there +was too much of a twinkle in _his_ brown eyes! They were twinkling +tremendously when I saw them first, fixed upon the Poetry Shelf, and the +tightest upper lip in the hut seemed to be keeping down a cheer. No +sooner had we spoken than he was saying he kept his own anthology in his +field pocket-book--and could I remember the third verse of 'Out of the +night that covers me'? Happily I could; and so made friends with a man +after my heart of hearts. + +In the first place, he spoke the adorable accent of my native heath or +thereabouts; and the things he said were as good as the way he said +them. Sense and sensibility, fun and feeling, candour and reserve, all +were there in perfect partnership, and his twinkling eyes lit each in +turn. Before the war he had been a postal telegraphist, and 'there +wasn't a greater pacifist alive'; now he was an R.E. signaller attached +to the Guards, and as for pacifism--the twinkle sharpened to a glitter +and his upper lip disappeared. + +Yet another man of forty, he had joined up early, and assigned any +credit to his wife--'good lass!' He was splendid about her and their +cheery life together; there was a happy marriage, if you like! 'Ever a +rover,' as he said romantically (but with the twinkle), he might be in a +post-office, but his heart was not; and it seemed the couple were one +spirit. Every summer they had taken their holiday tramping the moors, +their poets in their pack: 'when we were tired we would sit down and +read aloud.' No wonder the Poetry Shelf made him twinkle! There were two +cheery children, 'shaping' as you would expect; their dad borrowed my +_If_ to copy out for the small boy's birthday, as well as in his field +anthology. + +Loyalty to one's own, when so impassioned, is by way of draining the +plain man's stock: perfect home lives are not so common that the +ordinary middle-aged ratepayer makes haste to give up one for the wars. +But the anthologist had not been 'wrapped up' like the rest of us. His +loyalties did not even end at his country. That first afternoon, I +remember, he told me he had been 'a bit of a Theosophist.' + +'Aren't you one now?' + +'No; but I still have a warm corner in my heart for them.' + +I thought that very finely said of a creed outlived. Give me a warm +corner for an old love, be it man, woman, or sect! + +Daily he dropped in to read and chat; not to take out a book until his +turn came for the Line. It was just when the German push seemed imminent +to many, was indeed widely expected at a date when my friend would still +be at his dangerous post. He knew well what it might mean at any moment; +and I think he said, 'The wireless man must be the last to budge,' with +the smile he kept for the things he meant; but for once his eyes were +not doing their part. 'Well, thank God I've _had_ it!' he said of his +happy past as we locked hands. 'And nothing can take it away from you,' +I had the nerve to say; for these may be the comforts of one's own +heart, but it seems an insolence to offer them to a younger man with a +harder grip on life. Happily we understood each other. 'And many happy +chats had we,' he had written on the back of the photograph he left me. +He had also written his wife's address. _David Copperfield_ went with +him when we parted. I wondered if I should ever see either of them +again. + +Sure enough, on the predicted night, came the roll of drum-fire, as like +thunder as a noise can be; but it was our drum-fire, as it happened, and +down came my friend next day to tell me all about it. No-Man's Land had +been 'boiling like cocoa' under our shells; he was full of the set-back +administered to Jerry, of the fun of underground wireless and the genius +of Charles Dickens. I sent him back with _Joseph Vance_, and we talked +of nothing else at our next meeting. It was our last; but I treasure a +letter (telling of 'the ruined city of our friendship,' among other +things), and a field-card of more recent date; and have every hope that +the writer is still lighting up underground danger-posts with his wise +twinkle, and still adding to his field anthology. + +Yet another hard reader was a Coldstream Guardsman, a much younger man, +and one of the handsomest in the hut. He, too, if you will believe me, +had brown eyes--a thing that could not happen to three successive +characters in a novel--but of another order altogether. If they had +never killed a lady in their time, their molten glow belied them. This +young man liked a classic author of full flavour. _Tom Jones_ was +probably his favourite novel, but we had it not. De Maupassant would +have enchanted him--but not the coarse translations on vile paper--or +Rousseau's or Cellini's open secrets. As it was he had to put up with +Anatole France, and oddments of Swift and Wilde; nor do I forget his +justifiable disgust on discovering too late that our _Gulliver_ was a +nursery version. He was a delightful companion across the counter: +subtle, understanding, soft-spoken, in himself a romantic figure, yet +engagingly vulnerable to romance. + +'I'm feeling sentimental, Mr. Hornung. I want a love-story,' he sighed +one afternoon. I reminded him that he would also want Good Stuff, and +succeeded in meeting all his needs with _Ships that Pass in the Night_. + +Next day we had our Quiet Room Evening with Tom Hood; and that was the +time I strayed upon delicate ground by way of 'The Bridge of Sighs,' +from poem to subject before I knew where I was. The men took it +beautifully, and touched my heart by impulsively applauding the very +things I should have feared to say to them upon reflection. As for our +Coldstreamer, he came straight up to the counter and took out Jeremy +Taylor's _Holy Living and Dying_! + + +WAR AND THE MAN + +Not a day but some winning thing was said or done by one or other of +them. A man whom I hardly knew had been changing his book when he heard +me talking about green envelopes. + +'Do you want a green envelope?' he asked point-blank. + +'As a matter of fact, I do.' + +'Then I'll see if I can't get you one.' + +Now, the point about the 'green envelope' is the printed declaration on +the outside, that the contents 'refer to nothing but private and family +matters'; this being signed by the sender, your letter is censorable +only at the base, and will not be read by anybody with whom you are in +daily contact. There is, I believe, a weekly issue of one of these +envelopes per man. This I only remembered as the generous soul was +turning away. + +'Don't you go giving me anything you want yourself!' I called after him. + +He just looked over his shoulder. 'Then it wouldn't be much of a gift, +would it?' was all he said; but I shall never give a copper to a +crossing-sweeper without trying to forget his words. + +That man was a driver in the R.H.A., and beyond the fact that he had +just been reading _The White Company_ I know nothing about him. They +cropped up under every cap-badge, these crisp, articulate, enlightening +men; they had shaken off their marching feet the dust of every walk in +civil life, and it was only here and there a tenacious speck caught the +eye. I _have_ heard a Southern in Jock's clothing work in a word about +the season-ticket and the 'silk hat' of his City days; but as a rule a +soldier no more thinks of trading upon his civilian past than a small +boy at a Public School dreams of bragging about his people. More than in +any community on earth, the man at the front has to depend upon his own +personality, absolutely without any extraneous aid whatsoever; and the +knowledge that he has to do so is a tremendous sharpener of +individuality. + +Yet your arrant individualist is the last to see it. I remember +recommending _The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft_ to a young man full +of brains and sensibility--one of that Field Ambulance to which, as we +saw it, the description applies in bulk. He came back enthusiastic, as I +knew he would, and we discussed the book. I quarrelled with the passage +in which Gissing rails at the weekly drill in his school playground: +'even after forty years' the memory brought on a 'tremor of passionate +misery.... The loss of individuality seemed to me sheer disgrace.' My +Red Cross friend applauded the sentiments that I deplored; himself as +individual as a man need be, he assured me that the Army _did_ crush the +individuality out of a man; and when, refraining from the _argumentum ad +hominem_, I called his attention to many others present who showed no +sign of such subdual, he said at any rate it happened to the weaker men. + +It may: and if a man has no personality of his own, will he be so much +the worse for the composite substitute to be acquired in the Army? +Better an efficient machine than a mere nonentity; but an efficient +machine may be many things besides, and, under the British system, +nearly always is. The truth is that discipline and restriction do not +'crush' the normal personality in the least. They compress it; and +compression is strength. They prevent a man from 'slopping over'; they +conserve his essence. They may not 'make a man' of one who is a man +already, but they do exalt and intensify the quality of manhood; they do +make a good man in that sense better, and a goodish man out of many a +one who has been accounted 'no good' all his life. + +Often when the hut was full of magnificent young life; bodies at their +very best, perfect instruments in perfect tune; minds inquisitive, +receptive, experienced beyond the dreams of pre-war philosophy, and +honest as minds must be on the brink of Beyond; often and often have I +looked down the hut and compared the splendid fellows I saw before me +with the peace-time types perceptibly represented by so many. Small +tradesmen, clerks, shop assistants, grooms and gardeners, labourers in +every overcrowded field, what they were losing in the softer influences +of life, that one might guess, but what they were gaining all the time, +in mind, body, and character, that one could see. It did not lessen the +heart-break of the thought that perhaps half would never see their homes +again; but it did console with the conviction that the half who survived +would be twice the men they ever would or could have been without the +war. Nay, they were twice their old selves already, if I am any judge of +a man who talks to me. I only know I never foregathered with a couple of +them without feeling that we were all three the harder and yet the +tenderer men for our humble sacrifices, our aching hearts and our +precarious lives. I never looked thoughtfully upon a body of these +younger brothers without thinking of the race to spring from loins so +tried in such a fire. Never--if only because it was the first comfort +that came to mind. + +But it was not the only one. Here before my eyes, day after day, were +scores of young men not only 'in the pink,' but in better 'form' than +perhaps they themselves suspected; not only intensely alive but +manifestly enjoying life, the corporate life of constant comradeship and +a common if sub-conscious excitement, to an extent impossible for them +to appreciate at the time. They put me in mind of a man I know who +volunteered for South Africa in his athletic youth, and has ever since +been celebrated among his friends for the remark of a lifetime. Somebody +had asked him how he liked the Army. 'The Army?' cried this young +patriot. '_Once a soldier, always a civilian!_' None the less, he was +one of those I met in France, a Major in the A.S.C., which he had joined +(under a false age) at the beginning of the war. And how many, now the +first to adopt his watchword, would not jump at the chance to emulate +his deed in another fifteen unadventurous years! + +Many, we are told, will anticipate the inconceivable by making their own +adventures, if not their own war on society, such are the brutalising +effects of war! In this proposition there is probably as much as a grain +of truth to a sandhill of imbecility; but we shall hear of that grain on +all sides; the soldier-criminal will be only too certain of a copious +press, the bombing burglar of his headline. The people we are not going +to hear about, and have no desire to recognise as such, are the rascals +reformed, the weak men strengthened, the prodigals born again in this +war, and at least less likely to die a second death-in-life. With all my +heart I believe that, with few exceptions, the only characters which +will have suffered by the war are those of such youngish men as have +managed to stand out of it to the end, and men of all ages and all +conditions who have failed throughout to put their personal +considerations in their pockets, and left it to other men and other +men's sons to die or bleed for them. I hope they are not more numerous +than the men who have been 'brutalised' by war. At all events there were +no successful shirkers about our huts in France; and that may have made +the atmosphere what it was. All might not have the heart for war; here +and there some sapient head might wag aloof; but at least all had their +lives and bodies in the cause, there were no safe skins, no cold +detachment, no complacent lookers-on. It was an atmosphere of manhood +the more potent for the plain fact that no man regarded himself as such +in any marked degree, or for one moment in the light of a hero. + +That is all I have to say about their heroism. It is an absolute, like +the beauty of Venus or the goodness of God. Daily and hourly they are +rising to heights that keep all the world always wondering--when, +indeed, it does not kill the power of wonderment. But their dead level, +the level on which I saw them every day, lies high enough for me. It is +not only what discipline has done for them, not only what the habit of +sacrifice has made of them, that appeals and must appeal to the older +man privileged to mix with soldiers at the front. It is also the +wonderful quality of his fellow-countrymen as revealed in these +tremendous years. That was there all the time, but it took the war to +show it up, it took the war to make us see it. I might have known that +rough poor lads were reading Ruskin and Carlyle, that a Northamptonshire +shoemaker was as likely as anybody else to be steeped in Charles Lamb, +or a telegraph-clerk and his wife to tramp the Yorkshire dales with +Wordsworth and Keats about their persons. Yet I, for one, more shame for +me! would never have imagined such men if the God of battles had not put +me to school in my Rest Hut for one short half-term. + +Neither could I have invented, at my best or worst, a young City clerk +who played the piano divinely by the hour together, or a very shy young +man, a chemist's assistant from the most unhallowed suburb, for whom I +had to order Beethoven and Chopin, Liszt and Brahms and Schumann, +because _he_ could play even better, but not from memory. Those two lads +were the joy of the hut, of hundreds who frequented it. And how much joy +had they given in their lodgings or behind the shop? Who had ever been +prouder of them than their comrades, or done so much to 'bring them +out'? Yet, need I say it? they both belonged to that clever, +intellectual, fascinating Field Ambulance to which the Rest Hut owed so +much; and I shouldn't wonder if they both agreed with that other nice +fellow, their thoroughly individual comrade who declared that 'the Army +crushes the individuality out of a man!' + + + + +'WE FALL TO RISE' + +(_March-April, 1918_) + + +BEFORE THE STORM + +That dramatic month would have been memorable for the weather if for +nothing else. Day after day 'the March sun felt like May,' if ever it +did; and though it dried no hawthorn-spray in the broken heart of our +little old town, and there was neither blade nor petal to watch +a-blowing and a-growing, yet Spring was in our nostrils and we savoured +it the more eagerly for all we knew it must bring forth. Then the +overshadowing ruins took on glorious hues in the keen sunlight, +especially towards evening; the outer grey so warm and soft, like a +mouse's fur; the inner lining, of aged brick, an even softer tone of its +own, neither red nor pink. Day after day a clean sky threw the jagged +peaks into violent relief, and high lights snowed their Matterhorn, +until a sidelong sunset picked the whole chain out with shadows like +falls of ink. It was a sin to spend those afternoons indoors, even in +the Rest Hut, where the two stoves stood idle for days on end, and all +the windows open. + +Then there were the still and starry nights. Then there were the +moonlight nights, not so still, but nothing very dreadful happening our +way. Our big local gun might have gone on tour; at least I seem to +remember many a night when it did not shake us in our beds, when indeed +there was little but the want of sheets and pillow-cases to remind us +that we were not in England, where after all one can hear more guns than +are noticed any longer, and an aeroplane at any hour of the twenty-four. +Many a night there was no more than that to remind us that we were only +just behind the Line. + +Sometimes, as the two of us sat last thing over a nice open fireplace +that had found its way into my room from one of the skeleton houses on +the opposite side of the square, one or other would fall to moralising +upon the past life of the place we had made so much our own. It was a +dutiful effort to remember that the Hôtel de Ville had not always been a +mangled pile, its palisaded courtyard once something other than the site +of a Y.M.C.A. hut. But the reflection failed to haunt us as it might +have done; the present and the living were too absorbing, to say nothing +of the imminent future; and as for the dead past, we had our own. And +yet we knew from guide-book and album what shining pools of parquet, +what ceilings heavily ornate, what monumental intricacies in wood and +stone, what crystal grandiosities, formed the huge rubbish-heaps between +the mouse-grey walls with the reddish lining: we knew, but it was no use +trying to care. The Hôtel de Ville had finished its course; the Rest Hut +was just getting into its stride. Another chunk off the stump of the +once delicate and dizzy belfry, what did it signify unless the chunk +came through our roof? That was our only anxiety in the matter, and we +debated whether such a chunk would fly so far, or fall straight down as +apparently the rest of the campanile had done before it. My chief mate, +however, wound up every debate with the reiterated conviction that there +would be no German push at all; they were 'not such fools' as to make +one. But for my part I never went to bed without wondering whether that +would be the last of our quiet nights, or a quiet night at all. And +deadly quiet they had grown; even the rats no longer disturbed us; every +one of them had departed, and for no adequate reason within our +knowledge. Even the sceptic of a mate had something trite but sinister +to say about 'a sinking ship.' ... + +One afternoon, two days before the date on which most people seemed to +expect things to happen, a harbinger arrived as I sat perched behind +the counter. We were not long open; most of the men present were +clustered round the newspaper table; you really could have heard some +pins drop. That was why, for a second or two, I did hear something I had +never heard before, and have no wish to hear again. It sounded exactly +like a miniature aeroplane approaching at phenomenal speed. I was just +beginning to wonder what it was when there followed the most +extraordinary crash. Not an explosion; not a breakage; but the loud flat +smack a dining-table might make if you hauled it up to a ceiling by its +castors and let it fall perfectly evenly upon a bare floor. It was the +roof, however, that had been hit. + +We went out to look, and one of the men picked up a fragment of shell, +only about three inches long and less than an inch wide. That was my +table-top. The jagged edge of it glittered as though incrusted with tiny +brilliants; but the fragment was quite cold, showing that it had +travelled far since the burst. 'One of our Archies,' said most of the +men; but the Rest Hut orderly, who wore a Gunner badge said laconically: +'Fritz--range-finding!' He was borne out by a High Commander who +honoured me with a visit some days later. I believe it was the first bit +of German stuff that had found its way into the middle of the town +since the previous November; and a very interesting and effective little +entry it made, in the quietest hour of one of those uncannily quiet +days, and in the precincts of what we flattered ourselves was the +quietest hut on any front. But the funny (and rather disappointing) +thing was that it had failed to leave so much as its mark upon our roof. +It must have skimmed the apex and glanced off the downward slope--convex +side down--as a stone glances off a pond. 'The little less,' and it +would have drilled the reverse slope like a piece of paper. I have often +thought of that cluster of forage caps, under the silky skylights, round +the central table; but what I shall always hear, plainer than the +terrific smack that left no mark, is that first little singing whirr as +of a dwarf propeller of gigantic power. I think that must be the most +sickening sound of all under heavy shell-fire in the open. + +Next day was the eve of the expected attack, which did not in point of +fact take place for another week and more; but how widespread was the +expectation we learnt for ourselves by our own small signs and portents. +A dozen francs were refunded on a dozen books whose borrowers were +afraid they would have no more time just then to read another; but when +it all blew over for that week, back they came with their deposits, and +out went more books than ever. The mate was jubilant. Of course there +had been no German attack; and never would be; they were not such fools! +Nor was he by any means alone in his opinion; many officers--but enough! +We were not, to be sure, by way of meeting many officers. And yet +Wednesday, March 20th, brought two to my room whose respective +deliverances are worth remembering in the light of subsequent events. + +One was the Gunner who had given me steak and onions on our All +Uppingham day in the dark depths of the earth. He was as cheery as if he +had been making another century in the Old Boys' Match, instead of +having just gone on with his heavies on a new pitch altogether. It was +going to suit him. He felt like getting wickets. And the Pavilion was +not a dug-out this time; it was an elephant, in which the Major and he +could put me up any night I liked. Why not that night? He had come in a +car; he could take me back with him. + +Why not, I sometimes wonder to this day! There were good, there were +even creditable, reasons; but, beyond the fact that I was now much +attached to my counter, I honestly forget what they were. I only know +that my hospitable friend's new wicket was one of the first to be +overrun by a field-grey mob; and though the Major and he are still +enjoying rude health on the right side of the Line, and it goes without +saying that they left the ground with becoming dignity, I am afraid I +should have been out of place in the procession. Exciting moments I must +have had, but I should have been sorry to play Anchises to my friend's +Ĉneas. And I was to have my little moments as it was. + +My other visitor was, curiously, another cricketer, whom I had first +seen bowling in the University match at Lord's. It is not his department +of the greater game; nor do I intend to compromise this officer by means +of any further clue; for he it was who informed me that the push was +really coming before morning. 'So they say,' he smiled, and we passed on +to matters of more immediate interest. Time enough to be interested in +the push when it did come; from all reports I was likely to find myself +in the stalls, and he of course would be on the stage. So that was that. +In the meantime I had a great fixture arranged and billed for the +Saturday evening. An old friend was coming over from the Press Château +to lecture in the Rest Hut, for the first time on any platform; there +were to be seats for all our other friends, officers and men, and some +supper in my room for half-a-dozen of us and the lecturer. It was of +this we talked, and probably of pre-war cricket, and my beloved men, +over the last quiet tea I was to have there. Books went out very freely +till we closed. _With Our Faces to the Light_, _Heroes and +Hero-Worship_, _The Supreme Test_, and _Our Life after Death_, were +among the last half-dozen titles! + + +ANOTHER OPENING DAY + +... It did not wake me up till four or five in the morning. Then I knew +it had begun. The row was incessant rather than tremendous; not nearer +than it had often been, when that big local gun was at home, but +indubitably different. Some supplementary sound followed most of the +reports, as the receding swish of a shattered breaker follows the first +crash. I guessed what it was, but I wanted to be sure. I wanted to ask +the mate, on the other side of the partition behind my head; but I +didn't want to wake him up on purpose. The only unnerved man I met in +France, one of our workers whose railway-carriage had been blown in by a +bomb on the last stage of his journey from the coast, had awakened the +man in the next bed for company's sake the night after. He was brave +enough to own it. _I_ wanted company, but I had not the hardihood to +sing out for it until I heard a movement through the partition. + +The mate, of course, did not believe it was the push; but he confessed +it sounded the sort of thing one would expect to hear if the Germans +were fools enough to make a push. It sounded like rather distant +thunder, with sporadic claps in the middle distance. I smoked a pipe +with my _Spectator_ before trying for some more sleep, and was just +dropping off when our orderly arrived with jaunty tread. + +'It's Fritz,' said he, with sardonic unconcern. 'You can hear the houses +coming down.' + +And there followed the tale of damage done so far. + +I am afraid we were both up with the wind, if not with the sun. But we +shaved without bloodshed; for it is remarkable how a shell-burst can +fail to jog your elbow, or to spill your tea, when you have been +educated up to that type of disturbance. We had grown so used to guns in +the night that the quiet nights were the uncanny ones; and even they +were generally punctuated first or last by a comfortable bang from the +local heavy; the 'All's Well!' of that night-watchman, which, if it woke +us up, only encouraged us to go to sleep again with an increased sense +of security. A shell-burst at a decent distance sounded much the same +for the first--and only startling--second. And all that morning, and +generally throughout the day, they kept their distance with quite +unexpected decency. + +But they did sing over our heads; they did keep the blue above us vocal +with their shrill, whining cries; it was astounding to look up into the +unruffled heavens and see no trace of their course. As one gazed, the +crash came in the streets a few hundred yards away; and often after the +crash, by an interval of seconds, a noise as of some huge cart shooting +its rubbish. Somebody said it was like a great lash whistling over us +and cracking amid the herd of living houses just beyond. It really was; +and what followed was the groan as yet another piece was taken out of +the palpitating town. + +Two things came home to us while the day was young. It was biggish stuff +that was coming in, at a longish range; and it was coming in on +business, not on pleasure. Its business was to feel for barracks, +batteries, and other sound investments for valuable munitions; not to +have a sporting flutter here, there, and everywhere; much less to +indulge in the sheer luxury of pestling a ruined area to powder. If or +when they made some ground, and brought up their field-guns, it would be +a different matter; then it might pay them to keep us skipping in all +parts of the town at once; but, for the present, we in our part were in +quite ignoble security--unless Fritz lost his strength! We had, however, +to remember that we were in a straight line between wicket and wicket; +nor did his singing deliveries give us much chance of forgetting the +fact. + +News was not long in reaching us from less fortunate localities. The +station was catching it; and we had a busy hut all but adjoining the +station. We looked upon our comrades at the Station Hut with mingled +envy and commiseration, when one or two of them dropped in to recount +their adventures and escapes. A short-pitched one had killed four +officers in the street in their direction. And it so happened that +business took me to the spot during the course of the morning. + +It would be idle to pretend it was an enjoyable expedition. A friend +went with me; we wore our shrapnel helmets, and everybody we met was +wearing his. That alone gave the streets an altered appearance; +otherwise everything wore its normal aspect; the March sun was more like +May than ever, the sky more innocently blue, the cool light hand of +spring softer and more caressing. On the way we met two chaplains of the +Guards, who gave us details of the tragedy; on its scene we saw clean +wounds on the stone facing of a house, the chipped places standing out +in the strong sunlight, but did not investigate too closely. Two of the +officers had been standing in the doorway, two crossing the open space +we skirted; two had been killed outright, and two were dying or dead of +their wounds. Shells whistled continuously as we walked, but not one +burst before our eyes. + +On my return the mate and I had a look at a dungeon under the Town Hall, +as a possible sleeping-place. It was part of an underground system for +which the town was famous. One could walk for miles, from chamber to +chamber, as one can crawl from cell to cell in the foundations of most +big houses. We had long talked of going to ground there, with all our +books, in the day of battle; and now we viewed provisional sites, though +only one of us allowed that the day had dawned. + +'This is not the push,' I was stoutly assured. 'This is only a feint, +man. They are not such fools ...' + +After lunch we opened to the bang and whistle of our own guns, for a +change. The sacred mid-day meal was never followed up by enemy gun-fire +in my hearing; the time-table obviously included a methodical siesta, +which it was our daily delight to spoil. Not that my Rest Hut crowd +betrayed much pleasure in the proceedings; for once, indeed, I could not +help thinking them rather a stolid lot. There they sat as usual under +the sunny skylights, dredging the day's news as though it were the one +uninteresting thing in the hut, or playing dominoes and draughts, like a +nurseryful of unnaturally good children. It is difficult to describe +their demeanour. To say that they looked as though nothing was +happening is to imply a studied unconcern; and there was certainly +nothing studied on their side of the counter; on ours, it seemed as if +the Rest Hut had only needed this external din to make it really +restful. + +'Our friend Jerry's a bit saucy this morning,' said the emissary of a +sick Sergeant who sent for a fresh Maurice Hewlett every day that week. +It was the first comment of the afternoon on the day's events. 'Our +friend Jerry' had risen from his siesta and was giving us whistle and +bang for our bang and whistle; and still every shot sounded plumb over +the hut. It was like the middle of a tennis-court during a hard rally; +but I never heard anybody suggest that either side might hit into the +net. + +Then, I remember, came a new-comer, a husky lad with a poisoned wrist. + +'Gimme one o' them books.' + +I had my formula in such cases. + +'Who is your favourite author?' + +'Don't know as I have one; gimme any good yarn.' + +'What's the best yarn you ever read?' + +'I don't often read one.' + +'The last you did read?' + +Lost in the mists. I set _The Hound of the Baskervilles_ on him, and +saw him well bitten by the book before the afternoon was out or the +bombardment by way of abating. There was no tea-interval on the other +side, that I remember; but we had ours as usual in my room, and it was +either that afternoon or the next that an eminent Oxford professor, out +on a lecturing tour, gave us his company. He was delightfully interested +in the library, and spent most of the afternoon behind the counter, +making out a list of books he talked of sending us, chatting with the +men, and endearing himself to us all. I daresay he was the oldest man +who had ever entered the hut; but I still see him perched on top of our +little home-made step-ladder, in overcoat and muffler and soft felt hat, +while the shells burst nearer, or at any rate made more noise, as the +day drew in. Book in hand, and a kindly, interested, quizzical smile +upon his face, the professor looked either as though he never heard one +of them, or as though he had heard little else all his life. He cheered +one more than the cheeriest soldier, for his was not the insensibility +of usage, but the selfless preoccupation of a lofty soul. + +Earlier in the week I had accepted an invitation to dine that evening +with a mess at the other end of the town. It was quite the wrong end for +dinner at such a time; it was the end where the German shells were +feeling about for things worth smashing. They kept skimming across the +streets as I found my way through the dusk, and ours came skimming back; +it was the tennis-court again, but this time one seemed to be crossing +it on gigantic stilts, head and shoulders above the chimney-pots. But +nothing happened. It was a seasoned mess, all padres and doctors, to the +best of my recollection; and they gave one a confidence more welcome +than all their conscious hospitality. I enjoy my evening immensely--as I +look back. + +There was a window at each end of the dinner-table. No sooner were we +seated than there occurred outside one of these windows about the +loudest explosion I ever heard. No chair was pushed back, and I am bound +to say that was the end of it; they said it was further off than I can +yet believe. They also seemed to think it was a bomb. There I trusted +they were right. Bombs cannot go on falling on or even about the same +place. But in fifteen minutes to the tick we had the same thing outside +the other window. This time the glass came tinkling down, and it was +thought worth while to inquire whether there were any casualties in the +kitchen. There were none: no doubt some chair _would_ have been pushed +back if the answer had been in the affirmative. + +And that was all, except a great deal of shell-talk, and comparison of +hair-breadth escapes, between my two hosts (both of whom had borne +charmed lives--but who has not, out there?) when the rest were gone, and +a shower of stuff in the soft soil of the garden as I was going myself. +Perhaps 'shower' is too strong a word; but one of the many things I can +still hear is the whizz and burial of at least one lethal fragment close +beside us in the dark. The kind pair insisted on walking back with me, +and were strong in their advice to me to seek a cellar for the night. +This being their own intention, and the idea that I found in the mind of +my mate on regaining the Rest Hut, he and I spent the next hour in +transferring our beds and bedding to the dungeon aforesaid, where I for +one slept all the better for the soothing croon of shells high overhead +in waking intervals. + +It was officially computed that over eight hundred large shells arrived +in our little town that day, the historic 21st March, 1918. + + +THE END OF A BEGINNING + +Two capital nights we passed in our ideal dungeon. It was deep yet dry, +miraculously free from rats, and so very heavily vaulted, so tucked away +under tons of débris, and yet so protected by the standing ruins, that +it was really difficult to imagine the projectile that could join the +party. There was, to be sure, a precipitous spiral staircase to the +upper air, but even it did not descend straight into our lair. Still, a +direct hit on the stairs would have been unpleasant; but one ran as much +risk of a direct hit by lightning in peace-time. It seems indecent to +gloat over a safety verging on the ignoble at such a time; but those two +nights it was hard to help it; and the dim morning light upon the warm +brick arches, bent like old shoulders under centuries of romance, added +an appeal not altogether to the shrinking flesh. + +The day between had been very like the first day. I thought the +bombardment a shade less violent; but worse news was always coming in. +Far fewer books were taken out, far fewer men had their afternoon to +themselves, but only too many were their tales of bloodshed, especially +on the outskirts of the town. They told them simply, stoically, even +with the smile that became men whose turn it might be next; but the +smile stopped short at the lips. Still worse hearing was the fall of +village after village in sectors all too near our own; and yet more +sinister rumours came from the far south. Our greatest anxieties were +naturally nearest home, and our chief comfort the unruffled faces of +such officers as passed our way. 'He seems to be meeting with some +success, too!' as one vouchsafed from his saddle, after an opening in +the style of the gentleman who was still demanding Hewletts for his +Sergeant. + +The second night we had a third cellarman, leader of one of the outlying +huts now being abandoned every day. Almost hourly our headquarters were +filling up with refugee workers flushed with their sad adventures; but +this young fellow had been through more than most; a man had been killed +in his hut, and he himself was in the last stages of exhaustion. He had +been fast asleep when we descended from the turmoil for our night of +peace; and fast asleep I left him in the morning, little thinking that +most of us had spent our last night in the neighbourhood. + +It was another of those brilliant days we shall remember every March +that we may live to see. The devil's choristers were still singing +through the blue above, still thundering their own applause in the +doomed quarter of the town. Yet to stand blinking in the keen sunlight, +snuffing the pure invigorating air, was to vote the whole thing weak and +unconvincing. The picturesque ruins were not real ruins. The noises were +not the noises of a real bombardment; they were too simple and too +innocuous, one had heard them better done upon the stage. It seemed +particularly impossible that anything could happen to me, for instance, +at the head of my cellar stairs, or to the very immaculate Jocks' Padre +picking his way towards me, over a mound of last year's ruins, to us as +old as any other hill. + +But it was that Padre who struck the sinister note at once. What were we +going to do? Do! His meaning was not clear to me; he made it clear +without delay. His Jocks--_our_ Jocks--the rocks of my military +faith!--had gone away back. Divisional Headquarters, at all events, had +shifted out of that; it was the same with the other Divisions in the +Corps, the Padre thought; and he took it we should all be ordered back +if we didn't go! A place with a ridge had been taken by the enemy, who +had only to get his field-guns up--and that was only a question of +hours--to make the town a great deal unhealthier than it was already. + +I was horrified. It was the one thing I had never contemplated, being +turned out of the little old town! After all, it had been an +unhealthier spot a year ago than it yet threatened to become again. A +year ago the very Line had curled through its narrow rim of suburbs; and +yet the troops had stuck to the town; there had been cellarage for all, +barricades in streets swept by machine-guns, and a Y.M.C.A. hut run by a +valiant veteran through thick and thin. One or two of us, at least, had +been prepared for the same thing over again, _plus_ our Rest Cave and +all our books at a safe depth underground. That prospect had thrilled +and fascinated; the one now foreshadowed seemed too black to come true. + +But at breakfast we had it officially from the mere boy (from a Public +School, however) in local charge of the lot of us. We had better get +packed; it would be safer; but he hoped, perhaps more heartily than any +of us, that the extremity in view would not arise. So we pulled out +kit-bags and suit-cases of which we had forgotten the sight--and my +jolly little room never looked itself again. No room does, once you +start packing the belongings that made it what it was; but I never hated +that hateful job so much in all my life. Nor did I ever do it +worse--which is saying even more. Two days and nights under continuous +shell-fire, even when it is only the music of those spheres that he +hears incessantly, does find a man out in one way or another. My way +was forgetfulness and, I fear, a certain irritability. There are some of +my most cherished little possessions that I shall never see again, and a +good friend or so with whom I fear I was a trifle gruff. I hope they +have forgiven me. But a shell-burst may be easier to bear than a +pointless question, especially when you are asking one or two yourself. + +At lunch-time the A.P.M. sent in for me. I found him outside in the sun, +with the D.A.A. and Q.M.G., I think it was--both of them very grave and +business-like in their shrapnel helmets, their gas-masks hooked up under +their chins. They, too, wanted to know what we proposed to do; they, +too, explained exactly why the town would presently become no place for +any of us. But it was not for me to speak for the other workers, who by +this time were most of them on the spot; we were all as sheep in the +absence of our Public School shepherd, who had gone off in the Ford to +seek instructions at Area Headquarters. Some of them, indeed, took the +opportunity of speaking for themselves; and who had a better right? It +may be only my impression that we all had a good deal to say at the same +time: I know I voiced my dream about the Rest Cave. The official faces +were not encouraging; indeed, they put their discouragement in words +open to an ominous construction. They did not say Janiculum was lost, +but they left us perhaps deservedly uneasy on the point. + +And it was all idiotically, if not shamefully, exasperating! Those heavy +shells still raining into the town; untold pain and damage ensuing every +minute; the town-crier with his bell even then upon his rounds, warning +civilians to evacuate; little parties of them already under way, here a +toothless old lady in her Sunday weeds, a dignified old gentleman +pushing a superannuated perambulator full of household gods, a prancing +terrier loving the sad excitement of it all; and a man old enough to +know better thinking only of his makeshift hut, hardly at all about +their lifelong homes compulsorily abandoned in their poor old age, yet +with a step so proud and so unfaltering! The perambulator, perhaps, was +now a nobler and a sadder treasure than any it contained. But just then +the hut was home and treasure-house to me; filled day by day with hearts +of gold and souls of iron; and now what would become of it and them! + +For the first time since the first day of all, nobody was there when we +opened; but presently a handful drifted in, as unconcerned as the +terrier in the road, but without a symptom of the dog's ingenuous +excitement. What was it to them if the day was big with all our fates! +It would not be their first big day; but it was not their day at all +just yet, whatever it might be to us. To them it was still a May day +come in March, the air was still charged with the fulness of life, and +the hut with all that they had found in it hitherto. It was only to us, +in our narrow, keen experience, that everything was spoilt, or spoiling +before our eyes. + +'It's too good a day to waste in war,' said one of them across an idle +counter. + +It was not his first utterance recorded in these notes; and there seemed +a touch of affectation about it. But he was one of the clever lot I +liked, and what I thought his self-consciousness only drew us closer; +for I defy you to live under shell-fire, for the first time, without +thinking of yourself, and what the next moment may mean to you--and what +the moment after--at the back of your mind. It is another thing when +your hands are full. But the peculiar traffic at our counter had +dwindled steadily during the bombardment. And it had lost even more in +character than in bulk. Impossible, at least for me, to keep up the +tacit pretence that a book was more important than a battle; it had +taken our visitor from Oxford (whom I suspect of an eager assent to the +proposition) to turn a really deaf ear to the song and crash of high +explosive. Mine was hardened, but it heard everything; my mind employed +itself on each report; and for the last two days the men and I had been +talking War. + +But to this young man I talked about his friends whom I might never see +again. He had brought back a bundle of their books, and in their names +he thanked me for my 'kindness' to them: as if it were all on one side! +As if they had not, all of them, done more for me than I for them! They +were doing things up to the end; bringing back their books, at their +plain inconvenience, on their way to the forefront of the fight; even +bringing me, to the eleventh hour, their little offerings of books, the +last tokens of their good-will. + +It was hard to tell them we were closing down, it might be only for a +day or two; harder still to say what one felt without striking an +unhelpful note; and I took no risks. We could only refuse their money +all the afternoon, entertain them as best we could, and pack them off +with a hand-grip and 'Good luck!' + +There was trouble, too, behind the scenes. Our dear old Madame was one +of those for whom the town-crier had rung a knell; by half-past three +she must be out of house, home, and native place. But it was not the +shipwreck of her simple life that brought the poor soul in tears to the +hut. All the world knows how the homely French take the personal +tragedies of war, with the national shrug and a dry eye for their share +of the national burden; and Madame was French to her finger-tips. She +was therefore an artist, who put her hand to nothing she was not minded +to finish as creditably as the good God would let her. Think, then, of +her innocent shame at having to deliver our week's laundry wringing wet +from the mangle! It was the last mortification; and all our +protestations were powerless to assuage the sting to her sensibilities. +As for her helpmate, our orderly, for all his capabilities he had never +replaced the two heroes of the other hut in my affections; and at this +juncture he had managed to get a little drunk. But from information +since received one can only wonder it did not happen oftener; for the +man had tragedy in his life, and his story would be the most dramatic in +these pages had I the heart to tell it. By us he had done more than his +duty, and for the hut almost as much as Madame herself. The last sight +of each was saddening, and yet a part of the closing scenes, as the pair +had been part of our lives. + +By half-past five the Y.M.C.A. men had their orders: all to evacuate +except four of the youngest or strongest, who might stay for the present +to help with the walking wounded. Only too naturally, the Rest Hut was +not represented among the chosen. But permission was given us to remain +open another hour; and there were perhaps a dozen readers under the +still sunny skylights to the end. It went hardest of all to tell them +they would have to go. Two or three looked up from the papers to ask in +dismay about their lecture. I had forgotten there was to have been a +lecture; but here were these children waiting to take their places for +the promised treat, and more came later. Nothing all day had illustrated +quite so graphically the difference between their point of view and +ours; to them bursting shells, falling houses, and emptying town were +all in the day's work. They had to carry on just the same; it was more +than distasteful to be obliged to point out that we could not. The +lecturer, I said, if he was still alive, would be in the thick of things +by this time. That went home; he is the man they all read, the man who +has sung the praises of the private soldier with an understanding +enthusiasm unsurpassed by any war correspondent in any war. A week +earlier the hut would have been full to bursting; it shall burst if they +like one night this winter--all being better than that Saturday in +March--and a war still on! + +A regular patron of our Quiet Room Evenings, an oldish man with a fine +scorn stamped upon his hard-bitten face, said one or two things I +valued the more as coming from him, though I doubt if we had exchanged a +dozen words before. I shook his hand, and all their hands, as they went +out. They were pleased with us for having kept open a day longer than +any of the other huts. I hope I said the other huts had been closed by +order; but I only remember wanting to say a great deal more, and +thinking better of it. After all, we had understood each other in that +hut to a degree beyond the need of heavy speeches. + + +THE ROAD BACK + +There was a strange lull in the firing, and no meal-time to account for +it, as I carried the baggage over piecemeal to our headquarters off the +opposite end of the little square. The mate was doubtless busy relieving +me of my final responsibilities in the matter of stores or accounts; at +any rate I remember those two or three halting journeys with his light +and my heavy kit. The sun was setting in a slight haze, as though the +air were full of gold-dust. The shadows of the crippled houses lay at +full length in the square. The big guns were strangely still; their +field-guns were taking them a good long time to mount upon the captured +ridge. I made my final trip, turned in under the arch at headquarters, +where the little Ford 'bus was waiting for the last of us, and +incidentally for my last and lightest load. I had not put it in when +those infernal field-guns got going. + +I do not know what happened in other parts of the town. It seems +unlikely that they opened fire on our part in particular, but as I stood +talking in a glass passage there came a whirlwind whizz over the low +roofs, a crack and a cloud in the adjoining courtyard, and, as I turned +back under the arch, another whizz and another bang in the street I had +just quitted. So I would have sworn in perfect faith; and for several +minutes the street was full of acrid smoke, to bear me out. But it seems +the second burst was _in_ the next house, or in the next but one. All I +can say is that both occurred within about fifteen paces of the spot +where I stood as safe as the house that covered me. And yet the soldiers +tell you they prefer shell-fire in the open! With great respect, I shall +stick up for the devil I know. + +But what has interested me ever since is the hopelessness of expecting +two persons to give anything like the same account of a violent +experience which has taken them both equally by surprise. Nor is it +necessary to go gadding about the front in order to test this particular +proposition; try any couple who have been in the same motor accident. It +must be done at once, before they have time to compare notes; indeed, +they should be kept apart like suspect witnesses in a court. Suspicion +will be amply vindicated in nine cases out of ten; for the impression of +any accident upon any mind depends on the state of that mind at the +time, on the impressions already there, and on its imaginative quality +at any time. Hence the totally different versions of the same event +from three or four equally truthful persons. A boy I had known all his +life was killed just before I went out: three honest witnesses gave +three contradictory descriptions of the tragedy. Two of the three were +all but eye-witnesses, and C. of E. chaplains at that! No wonder we +argued about our beggarly brace of shells. The chief mate (last to leave +the ship, by the way) heard three, and a fourth as we drove away in the +Ford. My powers of registration were only equal to the two described. + +It was good to be high and dry in the little 'bus, though it would have +been better with as much as the horn to blow to keep one's mind out of +mischief. Our driver was a fine man wearing the South African and 1914 +ribbons. Invalided out, he had wormed his way back to France in the +Y.M.C.A.; but it was a soldier's job he did again that night, and for +days and nights to follow. Once a shell burst in his path and smashed +the radiator; he plugged it up with wood and kept her going. It is +provoking to be obliged to add that I was not in the car at the time. + +Nor did I thoroughly enjoy every minute of the hours I spent in it that +Saturday night; there was far too much occasion both for pangs and +fears. Though we had kept open longer than any other hut, and everybody +else (who was going) had left the town before us, yet the rest had gone +on foot and it seemed a villainy to pass them plodding in the stream of +refugees outside the town. It is true they all boarded lorries at the +earliest opportunity, and actually reached our common haven before us; +but that did not make our performance less inglorious at the time. Nor +had we any extenuating adventures on the way. The road, we understood, +was being heavily shelled; unless the enemy slumbered and slept, it was +bound to be; but I for one saw nothing of it. The Ford hood reduced the +landscape to a few yards of moonlit track, and the Ford engine drowned +all other noises of the night. But there was the perpetual apprehension +of that which never once occurred. Wherever we stopped, it had been +occurring freely. One of our huts, some kilometres out, was ringed with +huge shell-holes; but none were added during the interminable time we +waited in the road, while business was being transacted with which three +of the four of us had nothing to do. I do not know which was greater, +the relief of getting under way again, or the shame of leaving the crew +of that hut to their fate. + +Yet we had but to forget our own miserable skins and sensibilities, to +remember we were only on-lookers, and be thankful to be there that +night in any capacity whatsoever. For the straight French road whereon +we travelled--the wrong way, for our sins!--was choked with strings of +lorries and motor-'buses full of reinforcements for the battle-line; +silent men, miles and miles of them, mostly invisible, load after load; +all embussed, not a single company to be seen upon the march. It was +weird, but it was gorgeous: the tranquil moon above, the tossing dust +below, and these tall landships, packed with fighting-men, looming +through by the hundred. This one, we kept saying, must be the last; but +scarcely were we abreast, grazing her side, craning to make out the men +behind her darkened ports, than another ship-load broke dimly through +the dust, to tower above us in its turn. + +Thousands and thousands of gallant hearts! Sometimes the men themselves +fretted the top of a familiar 'bus--of course in khaki like its +load--but for the most part they were out of sight inside. And--it may +have been the drowning thud of their great engines, the noisier racket +of our own--but not a human sound can I remember first or last. So they +passed, speeding to the rescue; so they passed, how many to their +reward! Louder than our throbbing engines, and louder than the guns they +deadened, the fighting blood of England sang that night through all +these arteries of France; and our own few drops danced with our tears, +hurt as it might to rush by upon the other side. + +What with one stoppage and another, and always going against the stream +of heavy traffic, the thirty or forty kilometres must have taken us +three or four hours; and there, as I was saying, were our poor +pedestrians in port before us. It dispelled anxiety, if it did no more. +But there was no end to our mean advantages; for the good easy men were +making their beds upon the bare boards of the local Y.M.C.A., where we +found them with the refugees from yet another group of forsaken huts, +some eighty souls in all. They assured us there were no beds to be had +in the place, that the Town Major had commandeered every mattress. But a +cunning and influential veteran whispered another story in my private +ear; and on the understanding that his surreptitious arrangements should +include the mate of the Rest Hut, we adjourned with our friend in need +to the best hotel in the town, whence after supper we were conducted to +a still better billet. Here were not only separate beds, with sheets on +them, but separate rooms with muslin curtains, marbled wash-stands, +clocks and mirrors. It was true we had been forced to leave our heavy +baggage at headquarters in our own poor town; and there had not been +room in my despatch-case for any raiment for the night. But that was +because I had refused to escape without my library records, whatever +else was left behind. And the extensive contact with cool linen could +not lessen the glow of virtue, on that solitary head, with which I +stretched myself out in comfort inconceivable fifteen hours before. + +The day, beginning with the shock received from the Scottish Padre at +the head of the dungeon stairs, had been packed with surprise, +disappointment, irritation, mortal apprehension and emotion more varied +than any day of mine had ever yet brought forth. But I was physically +tired out, and a great deal more stolid about it all that night than I +feel now, six months after the event. The silence, I remember, was the +only thing that troubled me, after those three days and nights of almost +incessant shell-fire. But it was a joyous trouble--while it lasted. +Hardly had I closed my eyes upon the moonlit muslin curtains, when I +woke with a start to that unaltered scene. The only difference was the +slightly irregular hum of an enemy aeroplane, and the noise of bombs +bursting all too near our perfect billet. + + +IN THE DAY OF BATTLE + +It was not my first acquaintance with the town, nor yet with the hotel +to which our billet was affiliated. I had been there on a book-raid in +better days. It was in that hotel I found the hero of the apopthegm: +'Once a soldier--always a civilian!' And now its dismal saloons were +overflowing with essential civilians who might have been soldiers all +their lives; only here and there could one detect a difference; all +seemed equally imbued with the traditional nonchalance of the British +officer in a tight place. But for their uniform, and their martial +carriage, they might have been a festive gathering of the Old Boys of +any Public School. + +After breakfast we others sallied forth. The sun was still prematurely +hot. The uninjured street was full not only of khaki, but of the +townsfolk of both sexes, a new element to us in any but rare glimpses. +Their Sunday faces betrayed no sign of special anxiety. The bells were +tinkling peacefully for mass as we crossed the little river flowing +close behind the backs of the houses, and climbed the grassy height on +which the citadel stands bastioned. A party of British soldiers was +camped in its chill shadow; many were washing at the stream below, +their bodies white as milk between their trousers and their sunburnt +necks. Some, I think, were actually bathing. They did not look like the +battered remnant of a grand Battalion. Yet that was what they were. + +We foregathered with one chip from the modern battle-axe: a Sergeant and +old soldier who had been through all the war and through South Africa. +The last three days beat all. There had never been anything to touch +them. Masses had melted before his eyes. There they were, as thick as +corn, one minute, and the next they lay in swathes, and the next again +the swathes were one continuous stack of dead. The illustration was the +Sergeant's, and I know the fine rolling countryside he got it from; but +it was not the burden of his yarn. This came in so often, with an effect +so variable, that I was puzzled, knowing the perverse levity of the +type. + +'No nation can stand it,' were the exact words more than once. 'No +nation that ever was, can go on standing it.' + +'Do you mean----?' + +But I saw he didn't! The whites of his eyes were like an inner ring of +brick-red skin, but it was their blue that flamed with sardonic humour. + +'I mean the Germans!' cried he. 'No nation on earth can go on standing +what they had to stand yesterday and the day before. It's not in human +nature to go on standing it. I don't say as we didn't get it too....' + +Nor could he, while telling us what the remnant in the tents and on the +river-bank represented; but all such information was imparted in the +tone of a man making an admission for the sake of argument or fair play. +If I remember, the Sergeant had two wound-stripes under his pile of +service chevrons. But he had borne more lives than a squad of cats. +'Each time I find I'm all right, I just shake 'ands with myself and +carry on.' We got him to shake hands with us, and so parted with a +diamond in human form. + +Along the road below came the rag-time of a mediocre band; we hurried +down and stood in a gateway to review a company of Australians marching +into the town. This string of jewels was still unscattered by the fight, +of the same high water as our south-country Sergeant, only different in +cut and polish, if not of set sarcastic purpose. They were marching in +their own way; no stride or swing about it; but a more subtle +jauntiness, a kind of mincing strut, perhaps not unconsciously sinister +and unconventional, an aggressive part of themselves. But what men! What +beetling chests, what muscle-swollen sleeves, what dark, pugnacious, +shaven faces! Here and there a pendulous moustache mourned the beard of +some bushman of the old school; but no such adventitious aids could +have improved upon the naked truculence of most of those mouths and +chins. In their supercilious confidence they reminded me of the early +Australian cricketers, of beardless Blackham, Boyles and Bonnors taking +the field to mow down the flower of English cricket, in the days when +those were our serious wars. How I had hated the type as a schoolboy +sitting open-mouthed and heart-broken at the Oval! How I had feared it +as a hobble-de-hoy in the bush itself! But, in the day of battle, could +there have been a better sight than this potential band of bush-rangers +and demon bowlers? Not to my glasses; nor one more bitter for the mate +of the Rest Hut, thrice rejected from those very ranks. + +We wandered idly in their wake; and the next sight that I remember, +though it may not have been that morning, was almost as cheering in its +very different way. It was the spectacle of a single German prisoner, +being marched through the streets by a single British soldier with fixed +bayonet. The prisoner was an N.C.O., and a fine defiant brute, marching +magnificently just to show us. But his was not the hate that conceals +hate; he was the incarnation of the ineffable hymn, with his +quick-firing eyes and the high angle of his powerful chin. Physically +our man could not compare with him. And that seemed symbolical, at a +moment when signs and symbols were in some request. + +Then there were the men one had met before. Congested as it was with +traffic to and from the fighting, this little town was even more a +rendezvous for old acquaintance than the one from which we had beaten +our compulsory retreat. I was always running into somebody I had known +of old or through his people. One glorious young man, who had been much +upon my mind, came into the restaurant where we were having lunch on the +Tuesday. His eyes were clear but strained, his ears loaded with yellow +dust that toned artistically with his skin and hair. He said he had had +his first sleep for five nights--under a railway arch. Before the war he +had been up at Cambridge, and a very eminent Blue; if I said what he had +it for, and what ribbon he was wearing now, I might as well break my +rule and name him outright. But there had been three big brothers, then; +now there was only this one left--and at one time not much of him. It +did my heart good to see him here--looking as if he had never known a +day's illness, or the pain of wounds or grief--looking a young god if +there was one in France that day. + +But it was not only for his own or for his family's sake that the mere +sight of this splendid fellow was such a joy. The things he stood for +were more precious than any life or group of lives. He stood for the +generation which has been wiped out almost to a boy, as I knew it; he +stood for his brothers, and for all our sons who made their sacrifice at +once; he stood for the English games, and for those who had seemed to +live for games, but who jumped into the King's uniform quicker than they +ever changed into flannels in their lives. 'It is the one good thing the +war has done--to give public-school fellows a chance--they are the one +class who are enjoying themselves in this war.' So wrote one whose early +innings was of the shortest; and though it was a boyish boast, and they +were not the only class by any means, I should like to know which other +was quite as valuable when the war, too, was in its infancy? In each and +every country, by one means or the other, the men were to be had: only +our Public Schools could have furnished off-hand an army of natural +officers, trained to lead, old in responsibility, and afraid of nothing +in the world but fear itself. There were very few of the first lot left +last March, and now there are many fewer. Of one particular Eton and +Harrow match, I believe it can be said that not half-a-dozen of the +twenty-two players are now alive. It was something to meet so noble a +survivor, still leading in battle as he had learnt to lead at school and +college, both on and off the field. + +Nor had one to hang about hotels and restaurants, or camps or the street +corners, to see men straight from the fight or just going in, and to +take fresh heart from theirs. The chief local Y.M.C.A. was full of both +kinds, one more appealing than the other. It was perhaps the least +conscious appeal ever made to human heart; for men are proud in the day +of battle, and they are also mighty busy with their own affairs. What +pocket stores they were laying in! What sanguine reserves of tobacco and +cigarettes! That was a heartening sign. But there were no foreboding +faces that I could see. It is one of the strong points of the inner +soldier that he never thinks it is his turn; but if shell or bullet 'has +his name on it,' it will 'see him off,' as he also puts it. Some call +this fatalism. I call it Faith. It is their plain way of bowing to the +Will of God. But the only bow I saw was over the long last letters many +were writing, as though the bugle was already blowing for them, as +though they well knew what it meant. There was no looking unmoved upon +those bent backs and hurrying hands. + +Nor were they the most poignant figures; it was the men who had been in +it that one could not keep one's eyes off. Those we had seen bathing in +the morning were nothing to them. They had a night's rest behind them; +these were brands still smoking from the fire. Dirty as dustmen, +red-eyed, and with the growth of all these days upon their haggard +faces, some sat at the tables, eating and drinking like men who had just +discovered their own emptiness; and many lay huddled on the floor, as on +the battle-field itself, filling the hut with its very atmosphere. To +step over them, and to sit with the men who had a mind to talk, was to +get into the red heart of the thing that was going on. + +Not that they had very much to tell; all were hazy as to what had +happened; but all agreed it was the worst thing they had been through +yet, and all bore out our Sunday morning friend, that it was worse for +the enemy than for anybody else. This unanimity was remarkable; +especially if you consider, first the military history of that last ten +days in March, and secondly the fact that none of these unwounded +stalwarts was there for a normal reason. Each stood for scores or +hundreds who had gone under in the fight, or been taken prisoner. Yet it +was worse for the enemy! Yet we were going to win! I cannot swear to the +statement in those words, but it was implicit in their every utterance, +and emphatic in the things they never said. For though I brought +biscuits to many, and sat while they steeped them in their mugs and +gulped them down, not a first syllable of complaint reached my ears. On +that I would take my stand in any witness-box. And a Y.M.C.A. man knows; +they trust us, and speak their minds. + +Often in the winter 'peace-time,' as hinted early in these notes, I have +seen men shudder at the prospect of the trenches, heard bitter murmurs +at the mud and misery, and have done my best to answer the natural cry: +'When is this dreadful war going to finish? It will never be finished by +fighting!' There was nothing of that sort to cope with now. In the +winter I have heard lamentations for the stray man killed by a sniper or +a stray shell. There was the case of the Lewis gunner who had earned his +special leave; there was 'the best wee sergeant,' and there were others. +But there was none of that now that men were falling by the thousand; +not from a single one of these ravenous, red-eyed survivors. You may say +it was their hunger, weariness, and consequent insensibility, the +acquiescence of the sleeper in the snow. But they were full of +confidence phlegmatic yet serene. They were on the winning side; there +was never a doubt of it on their lips or in their eyes; and with us they +had no reason to keep their doubts to themselves. They had voiced them +freely in the winter. But now they had no doubts to voice. + +I do not propound their perspicacity or postulate an instinct they did +not claim themselves. I merely state a fact from observation of these +handfuls of men in the first days of the great crisis. That was the way +they reacted against the greatest enemy success since the first month of +the war. It is the English way, and always has been. And they happen to +be busy finishing the old sequel as I write. + +Yet if you had seen their eyes! I remember as a little boy seeing Lady +Butler's 'Charge of the Light Brigade' at my first Academy. I am not +sure that I have looked upon the canvas since, but the wild-eyed central +figure, 'back from the mouth of Hell,' rises up before me after forty +years. There is, to be sure, only the most odious of comparisons between +his heroic stand and the posture of my friends, who were not posing for +a Victorian battle-piece, but bolting biscuits and spilling tea on a +Y.M.C.A. table in modern France. Nevertheless, some of them had those +eyes. + + +OTHER OLD FELLOWS + +It was pleasant one morning to hear a sudden voice at my elbow: 'How's +the Rest Hut?' and to find at least one of its regular frequenters still +whole and hearty, in the press outside this teeming Y.M.C.A. But a more +embarrassing encounter occurred the same day and on the same too public +spot. + +It began in the hut, with a couple of sad young Jocks, who were like to +be sad, as they might have said; but they only smiled in wry yet not +unhumorous resignation. Their story was that of thousands upon the +imperative stoppage of all leave. These two had started off on theirs, +and were going aboard at Boulogne when headed back to their Battalion, +which they had now to find. It chanced to be one of those to which I had +helped to minister in the sunken road at Christmas. They remembered the +Cocoa Man, as I had been called there, but in the morning they were not +demonstrative. + +About mid-day we met again, and as I say, in the surging crowd outside +the Y.M.C.A. This time the case was sadly altered; the hapless pair had +been consoling themselves at another spring, and were at the +warm-hearted stage. Nothing was now too good for the poor Cocoa Man, no +compliment too wildly hyperbolical. Falling with their unabated forces +upon both his hands, only stopping short of the actual neck, they +greeted him as 'a brave mon' in that concourse of braves, and proceeded +to embroider the charge with unconscionable detail. + +'Thairty-five yarrds from the Gairmans,' declared one, 'this ol' feller +was teemin' cocoa in the trenches. I'm tellin' ye! Lash C'rishmash--mind +ye--shnow an' ische! Thairty-five yarrds from the Gairmans--strike me +dead!' + +A vindictive Deity might well have taken him at his word, for dividing +the real distance by more than ten. But nothing came of it except a +murmur of general incredulity, obsequiously confirmed by the Cocoa Man, +and from the other Jock's wagging head a sentimental echo: 'Thish ol' +feller! Thish ol' feller!' he could only say for the pavement's benefit. + +'Why was _I_ there?' demanded the spokesman, with a rhetorical thump +upon his chest. 'Dis-_cip_-line--dis-_cip_-line--only reason _I_ was +there. But this ol' feller----' + +'Thish ol' _feller_!' screamed the other, in a paroxysm of affection; +and when I had eventually retrieved both hands I left them singing my +longevity in those terms, like a catch, and took my blushes to a safer +part of the town. + +'I've given them a bitty,' whispered one of our ministers, who had +assisted my escape, 'and told them to go away and get something to +_eat_.' + +And the sly carnal wisdom of the advice, no less than the charity which +made it practicable, left a good taste in the mouth. It was the kind of +thing I ventured to think we wanted in our workers. In any community of +sinners there is room for the saint who will help a man to get sober +sooner than scold him for getting drunk. + +Not that I saw above half-a-dozen tipsy men in all the huts that I was +ever in. They were to be seen, no doubt, but they did not come our way. +The soldier who seeks the Y.M. in his cups is not a hardened case. He is +the last person to be discouraged, as he will be the first to deplore +his imprudence in the morning. I have heard a splendid young New +Zealander speak of the lapse that had cost him his stripes as though +nobody had ever made so dire a fool of himself. That is the kind of +notion to scout even at the cost of a high line in these matters. It is +possible to make too much of the virtues that come easily to ourselves; +and to the average Y.M.C.A. man the cardinal virtues seemed very like +second nature. This is not covert irony, but a simple fact which, for +that matter, ought hardly to have been otherwise, since most of us were +ministers of one denomination or another. The minority were apt to +feel, but were not necessarily justified in feeling, that a more liberal +admixture of 'sinful laymen' might have put us, as a body, even more +intimately in touch with the men than we undoubtedly were. + +Chief, however, among the virtues of my comrades, I think any +unprejudiced observer would have placed that of Courage. There were now +no fewer than eighty of us, all leaves before the wind of war, blown +helter-skelter into this little town that must be nameless. We had come +off all sorts and sizes of trees, down to the most sensitive and +frailest; but from the first squall to the last we were permitted to +face, and throughout these days of precarious shelter, in many ways a +higher test, I never saw a man among us outwardly the worse for nerves. +And be it known that the small personal escapes and excitements recorded +in these notes, were as nothing to the full-size adventures of a great +many of our refugees. In outlying huts, cheek by jowl with the camps +they served, the shelling had been far heavier and more direct than the +officers of the Rest Hut had been privileged to undergo; the +responsibility had been much greater, and the means of escape not to be +compared with ours. Little home-made dug-outs, under the hut itself, had +been their nearest approach to our vaulted dungeon, a tattoo of shrapnel +their variety of shell-music. Whole walls had been blown in on them, +men killed and wounded under the riddled roof. Some had suffered even +more from a bodyguard of our own guns than from the enemy; one reverend +gentleman declared in writing that his 'hut reeled like a ship in a +great sea.' + +Another wrote: 'A wave of gas entered our domain and we had a season of +intense coughing and sneezing, also watering of eyes. Thinking it was +but a passing wave of gas from our own guns, we did not use our +respirators, but reaching up to a box of sweets I distributed them to my +comrades, and we lay sucking sweets to take away the taste.' (This was a +Baptist minister with a South African ribbon, and not the man to lie +long doing anything.) 'After breakfast I called upon the Artillery +Officers to offer my staff to make hot cocoa and supply biscuits during +the morning for the hard-worked gun-teams, an offer which he gratefully +accepted. I then made my way up to the dressing-station to see if the +Medical Officer required our services for the walking wounded. His reply +being in the affirmative, I took stock of the equipment we had on the +spot, then went back to bring up all necessary articles, also my +comrades. The small hut we have near the dressing-station for this work +was being so hotly shelled that the M.O. would not allow us to remain +there, so we worked outside the dressing-station door, a little more +sheltered, but still exposed to shell-fire. We comforted the wounded, +gave them hot tea and free cigarettes. A lull occurred during the +morning in our work, so Mr. ---- returned to make the cocoa for the +gun-teams, Mr. ---- remained to carry on at the dressing-station, and I +returned to clear the cash-boxes, fill my pockets with rescued +paper-money, prepared again for emergency.... We continued our work with +the wounded, and as the same increased in number, I then assisted in +bandaging the smaller wounds, having knowledge of that kind of work. +Later, the A.P.M. gave me his field-glasses and asked me to act as +observer and report to him every change in the progress of the battle of +the ridges. This was most interesting work, but meant constant exposure. +One of our aeroplanes sounded its hooter and dropped a message about 600 +yards away. On reporting it I was asked to cross over and see that the +message was delivered to the correct battery.' + +This was a man! But do not forget he was also a Baptist minister on a +four-months furlough at the front. 'Once a soldier!' he too may have +said after his first campaign, and clinched it by entering his ministry; +but here he was in his pious prime, excelling his lay youth in deeds of +gallantry, and covering our civilian heads with his reflected glory. No +wonder he 'heard from two sources that my work on that day received +mention in military dispatches.' Let us hope it did. 'If true,' he makes +haste to add, 'the work of my two colleagues is as much deserving.' But +who inspired them? Before they turned their backs, 'the advancing +Germans were only about 700 yards away. Securing some of our goods, we +decided to retire upon ---- for the night and return if possible the +next day.' The last six words italicise themselves. + +The party went out of the frying-pan into heavier fire further back: +'Soon after we had retired to rest the Germans commenced to bombard the +place with high velocity shells from long range.... A Lieutenant in our +hut went to the door, but reeled back immediately with a shattered arm. +A Corporal outside received a nasty wound in the shoulder. We set to +work bandaging the wounds of these men and making them comfortable while +others went to obtain a conveyance. There was no shelter, so after the +wounded were safely on their way to a C.C.S. we lay down in our +blankets, considering it as easy to be shelled in the warm as standing +in the cold'--more wine that needs no printer's bush. Later, he relieved +the leader of a very hot hut indeed, where he had for colleague 'one who +was calm in the hour of danger.' Here the congenial pair 'were able to +carry on for four days, when the order came for us to evacuate. We +distributed our stock of goods to the soldiers, then closed up. That +night we lay in our blankets counting the bursting shells around us at +three shells per minute.' On their arrival in our common port, naturally +not before, 'the effects of the gas at ---- began to make themselves +felt, and I was ordered by the Medical Officer to take a week's complete +rest.' One wonders if a rest was better earned in all those terrific +days. + +The document from which I have been quoting is only one of many placed +at my disposal. It is typical of them all, exceptional solely in the +telling simplicity of the narrator. The writer was not our only minister +who came through the fire pure gold; he was not even the only Baptist +minister. One there was, the gentlest of souls, whose heroic story I may +yet make shift to tell, though it deserves the hand of Mr. Service or of +'Woodbine Willie.' Such were the men I had the honour of working with +last winter, and of such their adventures as against the personal +experiences it was necessary to recount first or else not at all. I +confess they make my Rest Hut look a little too restful as I set them +down; for there we were wonderfully spared the tangible horrors of the +situation; but many of these others, as little used to bloodshed as +ourselves, had left a shambles behind them, and looked upon the things +that haunt a mind. + +And yet, as I began by saying, not a man of them showed shaken nerves, +or what mattered more to those of us who had seen less, a shaken faith. +Therein they were not only worthy of the men they had served so +devotedly to the end, but of the sublime tradition it was theirs to +uphold. It was a great matter that there should not have been one heart +among us so faint as to affect another, that we should have carried +ourselves at least outwardly as I think we did. But to some of us it +seemed a yet greater matter, in the days of anti-climax and reaction now +in store, that those to whom we were entitled to look for spiritual +support did not fail us in a single instance. + + +THE REST CAMP--AND AFTER + +Y.M.C.A. work was over for the time being in the fighting areas. +Hundreds of huts and mountains of stores had been abandoned or +destroyed. What was to be done with the six or seven dozen of us, now +thoroughly superfluous men (and as many more in other centres), was the +immediate problem. It was solved by the High Command putting at our +disposal an Army rest-camp on the coast. + +Thither we all started by rail on the evening of Tuesday, March 26th. +Ten minutes after our train left, the station was heavily bombed; +half-an-hour later we were lying low in a cutting, under a mercilessly +full moon, but perhaps in deeper shadow than we supposed, while a German +aeroplane scoured the sky for mischief. There was an Anti-Aircraft +Battery also concealed about the district; thanks to its activities, we +were at length able to proceed with less fear of molestation. But only +fitfully; the full moon saw to that. It was as light as noonday through +smoked glasses, and very soon our train was hiding in the next wood that +happened to intersect the line. + +Did we waste time talking about it, discussing our chances, or mildly +anathematising our last-straw luck? Not for many minutes; at least, not +in the bare truck round which some fifty of us squatted on our baggage. +We had begun the last stage of our exodus in a certain fashion; and in +that fashion we went on--and on. Before we were five minutes out, one of +them had struck up a hymn, and we had sung it with all our lungs and +hearts. Another and another followed; and in the stoppages, after a +human peep at the sky, and a silence broken by the beat of the +destroyer's engine, there was always some exalted voice to lead us yet +again, and a stentorian following every time. Though the tunes were +often strange to me, and to my mind no improvement on the ones I wanted, +the hymns themselves were the old hymns that take a man back to his old +home and his old school. Each was like a bottle charged with the essence +of some ancient scene. One savoured the scents of vanished rooms, heard +the sound of voices long past singing or long ago stilled; forgotten +influences, childish promptings, looks and thoughts and sayings, came +leaping out of the dead past into that dark truck hiding for dear life +in a wood. And of all the unreal situations I was ever in--or invented, +for that matter--this at last struck me as about the most unconvincing +and far-fetched. Yet at the same time, like all else that really +matters, it seemed the most natural thing in the world: as though the +whole history of mankind had not led up to the horrors and splendours of +this stupendous war more inevitably than our fifty life-lines converged +in that truck-load of brave, faithful, hymn-singing men. + +Then a hymn would end, and there would be sometimes as much as a minute +of natural talk and normal thinking. But it was like the lorries full of +fighting-men in the moonlit dust; always a new leader filled the breach; +and the officers of the Rest Hut had long been stolid listeners when we +stopped once more, not to hide, but at some station, and that weary pair +sneaked out into another truck. Here there were but other two before +them: a sardonic Anglican, and a young man enviably asleep under less +covering than would have soothed our thinner blood. Side by side we +cowered upon a packing-case, a Rest Hut blanket about our legs, and +discussed the secular situation over a pipe. Almost the last thing we +two had heard in the town was a whisper about the German cavalry; a +rumour so sensational that we were keeping it to ourselves; but it only +confirmed the mate in his prophetic conviction that the fools were just +cutting their own throats deeper with every mile they advanced. That was +_his_ hymn; not a stage of our flight had he failed to beguile with the +grim refrain; but in the truck I seem to recall a wilder dream of +getting into some dead man's uniform, if the other folly went much +further, and risking a firing-party for one blow at a Boche by fair or +foul. It was perhaps as well that we were going beyond the reach of any +such desperate temptations. + +The Rest Camp was on a chilly plateau at the mouth of the Somme: it +might have been the Murrambidgee for all the warfare within reach. A few +faint flashes claimed our wistful attention on a clear night, but I have +heard the guns better here in Sussex. On the other hand, it was a +military camp, laid out on scientific principles that appealed to the +camp-following spirit, and military discipline kept us on our acquired +mettle. I had not slept under canvas for thirty years, and rather +dreaded it, especially as the weather had turned cold and unsettled. A +tent in the rain had perhaps more terrors for many of us than a snug hut +under occasional shell-fire; but few if any were the worse for the +experience. Indeed, the chief drawback was an appetite out of all +proportion to available rations; but, though tempers were at times on +edge, and fists clenched in the bacon queue, on one of our few bacon +mornings, no grumbling disgraced the board. We reminded ourselves and +each other of the lads we had left to bear the brunt, and we started +our humdrum days with vociferous jocosity in the wash-house. + +Easter was upon us before we were fairly settled, or a tent pitched +large enough to hold us all; and it was 'in sundry places,' indeed, that +we mobilised as a congregation. One was the open shed in which we +shivered over meals, and one the camp shower-baths. But on Easter Day, +which was fine and bright, all adjourned to a neighbouring wood, then +breaking into bud and song; and sitting or leaning in a circle against +the trees, at the intersection of two green rides, we held our service +in Nature's sanctuary. In that ring of unmilitary men in khaki there +were few who had not been nearer violent death than ever in their lives +before, very few but were prepared to face it afresh at the first +chance, one at least who was soon to be killed behind his counter; and +presently a young man standing in our midst, an Anglican with a +Nonconformist gift of speech, brought the spring morning home to our +hearts, filled them with thankfulness for our lot and trust in the +issue, and pride of sacrifice, and love of Him Who showed the way, in a +sermon one would not have missed for the best they were getting in +London at that hour. It was not the only fine sermon we had in the Rest +Camp; and wonderful it was to hear the same simple note struck so often, +albeit from different angles of the Christian faith, and so seldom +forced. We must have had representatives of all the English-spoken +Churches, save and except the parent of them all; constantly an Anglican +and a Dissenter would officiate together, with many a piquant compromise +between their respective usages; but when it came to preaching, they +were like searchlights trained from divers quarters upon the same +central fact of Christianity. The separate beams might taper off into +the night, but high overhead they met and mingled in a single splendour. + +But there was one minister who took no part; he lay too sick in our +tent; and yet his mere record is the sermon I remember best. He was that +other Baptist already mentioned, a shy bachelor of fifty, the most +diffident and (one might have thought) least resolute of men. A lad he +loved had come out and been killed; the impulse took him to follow and +throw himself into the war in the only capacity open to his years. The +Y.M.C.A. is the refuge of those consciously or unconsciously in quest of +this anodyne. We had met at my first hut, where he had slaved many days +as an extra hand. Never was one of us so deferential towards the men; +never were they served with a more intense solicitude, or addressed +across the counter with so many marks of respect. 'Sir,' he never +failed to call them to their faces, or 'this gentleman' when invoking +expert intervention. That gentleman, being one, never smiled; but we +did, sometimes, in our room. Then one Sunday I persuaded him to preach. +It was a revelation. The hut had heard nothing simpler, manlier, +straighter from the shoulder; and the war, not just then the safest +subject, was finely and bravely treated, both in the sermon and the +final prayer. A fighting sermon and a fighting prayer, for all the +gentle piety that formed the greater part, and all the sensitive +mannerism which would never make us smile again. + +At that time our outpost in the support line, scene of my Christmas +outing, had been running a good many weeks; and its popularity as a +holiday resort was not imperceptibly upon the wane. Most of us had +tasted its fearful joys, and there were no offers for a second helping; +it was emphatically a thing to have done rather than the thing to do +again. It came to the Baptist's turn, and when his week was up there was +a genuine difficulty in relieving him, one or two on the rota having +fallen sick. Our young commandant went up to ask if he would mind doing +an extra day or two. Mind! It was his one desire; he was as happy as a +king--and he had quite transformed the place. The tiny hut was no longer +the pig-sty described in an earlier note; it was as neat and spotless +as an old maid's sanctum. The urns were like burnished silver. The fire +never smoked. The bed had been brought in from the unspeakable tunnel +under the sand-bags; it was as dry as a bone, and curtained off at its +own end of the cabin. All these improvements the Baptist had wrought +single-handed, besides fending and cooking for himself: no Battalion +Headquarters for him! An extra week was just what he had been longing +for; in point of fact, he stayed four weeks on end, as against my four +paltry days! + +Shells arrived in due course; death happened at the door; men grievously +wounded staggered in for first aid; the lengthening days kept him +fireless till evening; but the cocoa had never been so well made, or so +continuous the supply. Once a big shell burst within a yard of the +grassy roof, on the very edge of the high ground of which the roof was a +colourable extension. It brought down all the mugs and urns and +condensed-milk tins with a run; and that day we did see the Baptist at +our mid-day board. 'It shook me up a bitty,' he confessed with his shy +laugh; but back he went in the afternoon; and illness alone restored him +to us when the month was up. + +But the gem of his performance was an act of moral gallantry: and here +is needed the Rough Rhyme of a Padre or of a Red Cross Man. One cold +night a Sergeant-Major--Regimental, I do believe--honoured the cabin +with his presence, only to fire a burst of improper language at the +weather and the war. The Baptist, whom we may figure on the verge of +genuflexion before the august guest, lost not a moment in standing up to +him. + +'You can't talk like that here, sir!' he cried with stern simplicity. +'It's not allowed!' + +'Can't,' if you please, and 'not allowed'! You picture the audience +settling down to the dreadful drama, hear the cold shudders of the +callow, see the turkey-cock turning an appropriate purple. He very soon +showed what he could do; but it was no longer a spontaneous or such a +glib display. The rum that happened somehow to be in him seems to have +had something to do with this; but not, it may be, as much as the +Sergeant-Major pretended; and the torpor that rather suddenly supervened +I diagnose as the ready resource of an expert in camouflage. Better +gloriously drunk than ignominiously admonished by an unprintable hiatus +of a Y.M. Padre! + +So a party of muscular volunteers escorted the S.M. to his dug-out. But +the next day he returned alone, crisp-footed and square-jawed, +apparently to put the Baptist in his place for ever. Exactly what +followed, that gentle hero was not the man to relate. Again one +pictures Peeping Tommies exposing themselves on the sunken road to see +the fun, perhaps the murder; but what I really believe they might have +seen, before many minutes were up, was the spectacle of the two +protagonists upon their knees. + + * * * * * + +Stranger things have been happening, even on that sunken road of ours. +It was lost to us in those very days of the Army Rest Camp; it had not +been recovered when I was busy expatiating on its Christmas charms; its +recovery was one of the first loose stones in the avalanche of vast +events which has caught me up.... And now they say the war is over! To +have seen something of it all in the last dark hour--and nothing +since--is to find even more than the old war-time difficulty in +believing half one hears. One has too many fixed ideas and violent +impressions, not only of those four months, but of these four years: a +man has to clear his own entanglements before he can begin to advance +with such times. In the meantime the patter about Indemnities and +Demobilisation leaves him cold. Demobilisation will have to begin nearer +home than charity, in the armies of our thoughts; and some are not as +highly disciplined as others, some hearts too sore to enter as they +would into this Peace. + +For them there is still the Y.M.C.A. That little force of camp-followers +still holds the field, has nothing to say to any Armistice, may well +have started its most strenuous campaign. With the Armies of Occupation +its work will hardly be the romantic enterprise it was; with all the +danger, most of the glamour will have departed; but the deeper +attractions are the less adventitious, while the Rhine at any rate +should provide some piquant novelties in place of old excitements. The +grand fleet of huts will soon be anchored there--including, as I hope, +the new Rest Hut that was to have been tucked up close behind the Line. +Once more before each counter there will be the old press of matchless +manhood and humanity; neater and sprucer, I make no doubt, but otherwise +neither more nor less like conquering heroes than their old +unconquerable selves; and just once more, behind the counter, the chance +of a lifetime, but the last chance, for 'sinful laymen' of the milder +sort! + +Will it be taken? Are our courageous ministers to have the last field +practically to themselves, or will a few mere men of the world even now +step in, if only for the honour of the laity? They would if they knew +what the work is like and what it may be made, how free a hand is given +one, how generously one is met by all concerned, and the modicum of +spiritual equipment essential if only that modicum be sincere. Pre-war +notions about the Young Men's Christian Association still militate a +little against the Y.M.C.A. for all the halo of success attaching to +those capitals; but hear a soldier from the front upon the 'Y.M.' _tout +court_, and his affectionate abbreviation of an abbreviation will in +itself tell you something of the institution as it is to-day. It has +meant rather more to him than 'tea and prayer in equal parts'; yet that +conception still prevails in superior circles. Quite lately I heard a +dignitary of the Established Church speak with pain of a brilliant young +Oxford man of his acquaintance, who, rejected of the Army, must needs be +'giving out tea in some tent in France!' It seemed to him a truly +shocking waste of fine material; but if that young man was not giving +out a great deal more than creature comforts, and getting at least as +good as he gave, then it was a still more wanton waste of an opportunity +which the finest young man alive might have been proud to seize. + +The truth is, of course, that no man is too good for this job. He may be +a specialist, and more valuable to the community where he is than he +would be (to the community) in a Y.M.C.A. or a Church Army hut. He may +be a Cabinet Minister, a Bishop, or a Judge: that does not make him too +good to minister to the men who have borne the brunt of this war: it +only makes him too busy and perhaps too old. One must not even now be +extra liable to 'die of winter,' as the Tynesider said, nor yet too +dainty about bed and board. But the better the man, the better he will +do this work, the more he will bring to it, the more he will find in it; +the greater will be his tact, the greater his loving-kindness and +humility; the readier will he be to recognise many a better man than +himself in our noble rank-and-file--to learn all they have to teach him +in patience and naturalness, unselfishness and simplicity--and to +perceive the higher service involved in serving them, even across a +counter. + + To Him Who made the Heavens move and cease not in their motion-- + To Him Who leads the haltered tides twice a day round ocean-- + Let His name be magnified in all poor folks' devotion! + + Not for Prophecies or Powers, Visions, Gifts or Graces, + But the unrelenting hours that grind us in our places, + With the burden on our backs, the smile upon our faces. + + Not for any miracle of easy loaves and fishes, + But for work against our will and waiting 'gainst our wishes-- + Such as gathering up the crumbs and cleaning dirty dishes. + +It may or may not be that Mr. Kipling is thinking of the Y.M.C.A. I do +not know the title of his poem, or whether it has yet appeared +elsewhere, or another line of it. These lines I owe to his kindness, and +as usual they crystallise all that one was trying to say. But to some of +us the crumbs that fell were a feast of fine humanity, and great indeed +was his reward who gathered them. + + + +_Printed in Great Britain by _Butler and Tanner_, Frome and London._ + + + + +Transcriber's Note: The following typographical errors present in the +original edtion have been corrected. + +In "Under Way", =equal fimrness and good-humour= was changed to =equal +firmness and good-humour=. + +In "Christmas Day", =abroad on the battlefield= was changed to =abroad on +the battle-field=. + +In "The Babes in the Trenches", =The fire was out; it seemed= was changed +to =The fire was out, it seemed=. + +In "Orderly Men", a period was changed to a comma after =copies for +myself=. + +In "The Hut in Being", ='I don't want the political'!= was changed to ='I +don't want the political!'= + +In "War and the Man", =argumentum at hominem= was changed to =argumentum ad +hominem=. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Notes of a Camp-Follower on the +Western Front, by E. 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Hornung. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + p { margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr.wide { width: 65%; margin-top: 2em; margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; clear: both;} + hr.thin { width: 45%; margin-top: 1.25em; margin-bottom: 1.25em; + margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; clear: both;} + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + } /* page numbers */ + + .linenum {position: absolute; top: auto; left: 4%;} /* poetry number */ + .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%;} + .center {text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + .lowercase {text-transform: lowercase;} + .u {text-decoration: underline;} + .upright {font-style: normal;} + .bigtext {font-size: 120%;} + .smalltext {font-size: 80%;} + .caption {font-size: 90%; text-align: center; + margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%;} + + .tocchapter1 {text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; + padding-right: 3em;} + .tocchapter {text-align: left; vertical-align: bottom; + padding-top: 1em; padding-right: 3em;} + .tocsection {text-align: left; font-variant: small-caps; + padding-left: 2em; padding-right: 3em; vertical-align: bottom;} + .tocpage {text-align: right; vertical-align: bottom;} + .newchapter {margin-top: 4em;} + .date {text-align: center; margin-bottom: 1.5em;} + .theend {text-align: center; margin-top: 4em;} + .newsection {margin-top: 3em; margin-bottom: 1.25em;} + .sectionone {margin-top: 1.25em; margin-bottom: 1.25em;} + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + .figleft {float: left; clear: left; margin-left: 0; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: + 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .figright {float: right; clear: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} + .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + .footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + .fnanchor {vertical-align: super; font-size: .8em; text-decoration: none;} + + .poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; text-align: left;} + .poem br {display: none;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem span.i0q {display: block; margin-left: 0em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i0 {display: block; margin-left: 0.4em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 2.4em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem span.i4 {display: block; margin-left: 4.4em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Notes of a Camp-Follower on the Western +Front, by E. W. Hornung + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Notes of a Camp-Follower on the Western Front + +Author: E. W. Hornung + +Release Date: September 7, 2011 [EBook #37331] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOTES OF A CAMP-FOLLOWER ON *** + + + + +Produced by Suzanne Shell, Steven desJardins, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net +(This file was produced from images generously made +available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 377px;"> +<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="377" height="600" alt="NOTES OF A CAMP-FOLLOWER ON THE WESTERN FRONT BY E. W. HORNUNG" title="" /> +</div> + +<h1>NOTES<br /> +OF A CAMP-FOLLOWER<br /> +ON THE WESTERN<br /> +FRONT</h1> + +<p class="center">BY<br /> +<span class="bigtext">E. W. HORNUNG</span></p> + +<p class="center">LONDON<br /> +CONSTABLE & COMPANY, <span class="smcap">Ltd.</span><br /> +1919</p> + +<hr class="thin" /> + +<p class="center">To<br /> +THE KINDEST MAN<br /> +IN THE BOOK</p> + +<hr class="thin" /> + +<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS</h2> + +<table class="figcenter" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="Table of Contents"> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection smalltext"> </td> +<td class="tocpage smalltext">PAGE</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocchapter1">AN ARK IN THE MUD</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#AN_ARK_IN_THE_MUD">11</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Under Way</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#UNDER_WAY">11</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">A Handful of Men</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#A_HANDFUL_OF_MEN">20</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Sunday on Board</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#SUNDAY_ON_BOARD">29</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocchapter">CHRISTMAS UP THE LINE</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#CHRISTMAS_UP_THE_LINE">39</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Under Fire</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#UNDER_FIRE">39</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Casualties</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#CASUALTIES">45</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">An Interrupted Lunch</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#AN_INTERRUPTED_LUNCH">53</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Christmas Day</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#CHRISTMAS_DAY">57</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">The Babes in the Trenches</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#THE_BABES_IN_THE_TRENCHES">71</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocchapter">DETAILS</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#DETAILS">79</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Orderly Men</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#ORDERLY_MEN">79</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">The Jocks</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#THE_JOCKS">89</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Gunners</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#GUNNERS">102</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">The Guards</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#THE_GUARDS">110</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocchapter">A BOY'S GRAVE</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#A_BOYS_GRAVE">121</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocchapter">THE REST HUT</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#THE_REST_HUT">141</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Fresh Ground</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#FRESH_GROUND">141</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Opening Day</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#OPENING_DAY">152</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">The Hut in Being</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#THE_HUT_IN_BEING">160</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Writers and Readers</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#WRITERS_AND_READERS">170</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">War and the Man</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#WAR_AND_THE_MAN">182</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocchapter">'WE FALL TO RISE'</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#WE_FALL_TO_RISE">193</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Before the Storm</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#BEFORE_THE_STORM">193</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Another Opening Day</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#ANOTHER_OPENING_DAY">201</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">The End of a Beginning</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#THE_END_OF_A_BEGINNING">210</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">The Road Back</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#THE_ROAD_BACK">221</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">In the Day of Battle</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#IN_THE_DAY_OF_BATTLE">228</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">Other Old Fellows</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#OTHER_OLD_FELLOWS">238</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocsection">The Rest Camp—and After</td> +<td class="tocpage"><a href="#THE_REST_CAMP_AND_AFTER">247</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="AN_ARK_IN_THE_MUD" id="AN_ARK_IN_THE_MUD"></a>AN ARK IN THE MUD</h2> + +<p class="date">(<i>December, 1917.</i>)</p> + + +<h3 class="sectionone"><a name="UNDER_WAY" id="UNDER_WAY"></a>UNDER WAY</h3> + +<p>'There's our hut!' said the young hut-leader, pointing through iron +palings at a couple of toy Noah's Arks built large. 'No—that's the +<i>n</i><sup>th</sup> Division's cinema. The Y.M.C.A. is the one beyond.'</p> + +<p>The enclosure behind the palings had been a parade-ground in piping +times; and British squads, from the pink French barracks outside the +gates, still drilled there between banks of sterilised rubbish and +lagoons of unmedicated mud. The place was to become familiar to me under +many aspects. I have known it more than presentable in a clean suit of +snow, and really picturesque with a sharp moon cocked upon some towering +trees, as yet strangely intact. It was at its best, perhaps, as a +nocturne pricked out by a swarm of electric torches, going and coming +along the duck-boards in a grand chain of sparks and flashes. But its +true colours were the wet browns and drabs of that first glimpse<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span> in the +December dusk, with the Ark hull down in the mud, and the cinema a +sister ship across her bows.</p> + +<p>The hut-leader ushered me on board with the courtesy of a young +commander inducting an elderly new mate; the difference was that I had +all the ropes to learn, with the possible exception of one he had +already shown me on our way from the local headquarters of the Y.M.C.A. +The battered town was full of English soldiers, to whom indeed it owed +its continued existence on the right side of the Line. In the gathering +twilight, and the deeper shade of beetling ruins, most of them saluted +either my leader's British warm, or my own voluminous trench-coat (with +fleece lining), on the supposition of officers within. Left to myself, I +should have done the wrong thing every time. It is expressly out of +order for a camp-follower to give or take salutes. Yet what is he to do, +when he gets a beauty from one whose boots he is unfit to black? My +leader had been showing me, with a pleasant nod and a genial civilian +gesture, easier to emulate than to acquire.</p> + +<p>In the hut he left me to my own investigations while he was seeing to +his lamps. The round stove in the centre showed a rosy chimney through +the gloom, like a mast in a ship's saloon; and in the two half-lights +the place looked scrupu<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span>lously swept and garnished for our guests, a +number of whom were already waiting outside for us to open. The trestle +tables, with nothing on them but a dusky polish, might have been +mathematically spaced, each with a pair of forms in perfect parallels, +and nothing else but a piano and an under-sized billiard-table on all +the tidy floor. The usual display of bunting, cheap but cheerful, hung +as banners from the joists, a garish vista from platform to counter. +Behind the counter were the shelves of shimmering goods, biscuits and +candles in open cases on the floor, and as many exits as a scene in a +farce. One door led into our room: an oblong cabin with camp beds for +self and leader, tables covered with American cloth, dust, toilet +requisites, more dust, candle-grease and tea-things, and a stove of its +own in roseate blast like the one down the hut.</p> + +<p>The crew of two orderlies lived along a little passage in their kitchen, +and were now at their tea on packing-cases by the boiler fire. They were +both like Esau hairy men, with very little of the soldier left about +them. Their unlovely beds were the principal pieces of kitchen +furniture. In the kitchen, too, for obscure reasons not for me to +investigate, were the washing arrangements for all hands, and any face +or neck that felt inclined. I had heard a whisper of Officers'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span> Baths in +the vicinity; it came to mind like the tinkle of a brook at these +discoveries.</p> + +<p>At 4.30 the unkempt couple staggered in with the first urn, and I took +my post at the tap. One of them shuffled down the hut to open up; our +young skipper stuck a carriage candle in its grease on the edge of the +counter, over his till, saying he was as short of paraffin as of change; +and into the half-lit gloom marched a horde of determined soldiers, and +so upon the counter and my urn in double file. 'Tea, please, sir!' 'Two +teas!' 'Coop o' tay, plase!' The accents were from every district I had +ever known, and were those of every class, including the one that has no +accent at all. They warmed the blood like a medley of patriotic airs, +and I commenced potman as it were to martial music.</p> + +<p>It was, perhaps, the least skilled labour to be had in France, but that +evening it was none too light. Every single customer began with tea: the +mugs flew through my hands as fast as I could fill them, until my end of +the counter swam in livid pools, and the tilted urn was down to a gentle +dribble. Now was the chance to look twice at the consumers of our +innocuous blend. One had a sheaf of wound-stripes on his sleeve; another +was fresh trench-mud from leathern jerkin (where my view of him began) +to the crown of his shrapnel helmet; many wore<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span> the bonnets of a famous +Scotch Division, all were in their habit as they fought; and there they +were waiting for their tea, a long perspective of patient faces, like +school-children at a treat. And here was I, fairly launched upon the +career which a facetious density has summed up as 'pouring out tea and +prayer in equal parts,' and prepared to continue with the first half of +the programme till further orders: the other was less in my line—but I +could have poured out a fairly fluent thanksgiving for the atmosphere of +youth and bravery, and most infectious vitality, which already filled +the hut.</p> + +<p>In the meantime there was much to be learnt from my seasoned neighbour +at the till, and to admire in his happy control of gentlemen on their +way up the Line. Should they want more matches than it suited him to +sell, then want must be their master; did some sly knave appear at the +top of the queue, without having worked his way up past my urn, then it +was: 'I saw you, Jock! Go round and come up in your turn!' Or was it a +man with no change, and was there hardly any in the till?—'Take two +steps to the rear, my friend, and when I have the change I'll serve +you!' When he had the change, the sparks might have flown with it +through his fingers; he was lightning calculator and conjuror in one, +knew the foul<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span> franc note of a dubious bank with less than half an eye, +and how to refuse it with equal firmness and good-humour. I hardly knew +whether to feel hurt or flattered at being perpetually 'Mr.' to this +natural martinet, my junior it is true by decades, but a leader I was +already proud to follow and obey.</p> + +<p>In the first lull he deserted me in order to make tea in our room, but +took his with the door open, shouting out the price of aught I had to +sell with an endearing verve, name and prefix included every time. It +made me feel more than ever like the mate of a ship, and anxious to earn +my certificate.</p> + +<p>Then I had <i>my</i> tea—with the door shut—and already an aching back for +part of the fun. For already the whole thing was my idea of fun—the +picnic idea—an old weakness. Huts especially were always near my heart, +and our room in this one reminded me of bush huts adored for their +discomfort in my teens. Of the two I preferred the bush fireside, a +hearth like a powder-closet and blazing logs; but candles in their own +grease-spots were an improvement on the old slush-lamp of moleskin and +mutton-fat. The likeness reached its height in the two sheetless bunks, +but there it ended. Not a sound was a sound ever heard before. The +continual chink of money in the till outside; the movement of many<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span> +feet, trained not to shuffle; the constant coughing of men otherwise in +superhuman health; the crude tinkle of the piano at the far end of the +hut—the efficient pounding of the cinema piano—the screw-like throb of +their petrol engine—the periodical bringing-down of their packed house, +no doubt by the ubiquitous Mr. Chaplin! Those were the sounds to which +we took our tea in the state-room of the Ark. She might have been on a +pleasure-trip all the time.</p> + +<p>That first night I remember going back and diving into open cases of +candles, and counting out packets of cigarettes and biscuits, sticks of +chocolate, boxes of matches, and reaching down tinned salmon, sardines, +boot-laces, boot-polish, shaving-soap and tooth-paste, button-sticks, +'sticks of lead' (otherwise pencils), writing-pads, Nosegay Shag, Royal +Seal, or twist if we had it, and shouting for the prices as I went, +coping with the change by light of luck and nature, but doling out the +free stationery with a base lingering relief, until my back was a +hundred and all the silver of the allied realms one composite coin that +danced without jingling in the till. Gold stripes meant nothing to me +now; shrapnel helmets were as high above me as the stars; the only hero +was the man who didn't want change. Often in the early part I thought +the queue was coming to an end; it was always<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span> the sign for a fresh +influx; and when the National Anthem came thumping from the cinema, the +original Ark might have sunk under such a boarding-party of thirsty +tea-drinkers as we had still to receive. I noted that they called it tea +regardless of the contents of the urn, which changed first to coffee and +then to cocoa as the night wore on: tea was the generic term.</p> + +<p>At last the smarter and tarter of the two orderlies, he who compounded +the contents of the urns, sidled without ceremony to the commander's +elbow.</p> + +<p>'It wants a minute to the 'alf-hour, sir.'</p> + +<p>Gramophone alone could give the husky tone of chronic injury, palette +and brush the red eyes of resentment turned upon his kind beyond the +counter. Our leader consulted his wrist-watch with a brisk gesture.</p> + +<p>'I'll serve the next six men,' he ultimated, and the seventh man knocked +at his heart in vain. Green curtains closed the counter in the wistful +faces of the rest; if I can see them still, it is the heavenly music of +those curtain-rings that I hear! The mind's eye peeps through once more, +and spies the last gobblers at the splashed tables littered with mugs +and empty tins; the last dawdlers on a floor ankle-deep in the envelopes +of twopenny and half-franc packets of biscuits; and a little man +broom-in-hand at the open<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span> door, spoiling to sweep all the lot into +outer darkness.</p> + +<p>In the kitchen, while both orderlies fell straight to work upon this +Augean scene, our versatile leader, as little daunted by the hour, gave +further expression to his personality in an omelette worthy of the +country, and in lashings of Suchard cocoa made with a master hand. I +remember with much gratitude that he also made my yawning bed, and that +we turned in early to the tune of rain:</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">A fusillade upon the roof,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">A tattoo on the pane.<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Only the pane was canvas, and the fusillade accompanied by some local +music from the guns outside the town.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="A_HANDFUL_OF_MEN" id="A_HANDFUL_OF_MEN"></a>A HANDFUL OF MEN</h3> + +<p>As 'the true love-story commences at the altar,' so the real work of a +hut only begins at the counter. You may turn out to be the disguised +prince of salesmen, and yet fail to deliver the goods that really +matter. I am not thinking of 'goody' goods at all, but of the worker's +personality such as it may be. It is not more essential for an actor to +'get across the footlights' than it is for the Y.M.C.A. counter-jumper +to start by clearing that obstacle, and mixing with the men for all he +can show himself to be worth.</p> + +<p>The Ark was such a busy canteen that all this is easier said than it was +done. Every morning we were kept at it as continuously from eleven to +one as ever we were from four-thirty to eight-thirty. Those were our +business hours; and though it was never quite such fierce shopping in +the forenoon, it was then that the leader would go off in quest of fresh +supplies and I was apt to be left in charge. This happened my very first +morning. Shall I ever forget the intimidating multitude of Army boots +seen under the door before we opened! And there was another of the early +days, when the Somersets stormed our parapet in full fighting +paraphernalia, with only<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> me to stand up to them. Not much chance of +foregathering then; but never an hour, seldom a single transaction +within the hour, but brought me from the other side some quaint remark, +some adorable display of patience, courtesy, or homely fun. The change +difficulty was chronic, and mutually most exasperating; it was over that +stile the men were always helping each other or helping me, with never a +trace of the irritation I felt myself. They were the most delightful +customers one could wish to serve. But that made it the more tantalising +to have but a word with them on business. My young chief was once more +my better here; he had only to be behind the counter to 'get across' as +much as he liked, and in as few words. But I required a slack half-hour +when I could take my pipe down the hut and seek out some solitary, or +make overtures to the man at the piano.</p> + +<p>It was generally the man's chum who responded in the first instance; for +every Æneas in the new legions has his staunch Achates, who collects the +praise as for the firm, adding his own mite in a beaming whisper. 'He +has his own choir in Edinburgh,' said one Jock of another who was +playing and singing the Scottish songs with urgent power. The piano is +the surest touchstone in a hut. It brings out the man of talent—but +also the bore who hammers<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> with one thick-skinned finger—but also the +prevailing lenience that puts up with the bore. I <i>have</i> been entreated +to keep my piano locked and the key in the till; and once on the counter +I found an anonymous notice, with a line requesting me to affix it to +the instrument without delay: 'If you do play, do play—If you don't +play, don't!' But a pianist of any pretensions has a crowd round him in +a minute; and a splendid little audience it always is. The set concert, +as I heard it, was not a patch on these unpremeditated recitals.</p> + +<p>One night the hut was full of Riflemen, one of whom was strumming away +to his own contentment, but with only the usual trusty chum for +audience. I brought my pipe to the other side of the piano, and the +performer got up and talked across to me for nearly an hour. He was a +dark little garrulous fellow of no distinction, and he talked best with +his eyes upon the keyboard, but the chum's broad grin of eager +admiration never ceased to ply between us. The little Rifleman had borne +a charmed life indeed, especially on Passchendaele Ridge, the scene of +his latest misadventures. He was as idiomatic as Ortheris in his +generation, but I only remember: 'I looked a fair Bairnsfather, not +'alf!' He was the nearest approach to a 'Bairnsfather' I ever +encountered in the flesh, but the compli<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span>ment to the draughtsman is no +smaller for that. A third Rifleman, less demonstratively uncritical than +the chum, joined the party; and at the end I ventured to ask all three +in turn what they had been doing before the war.</p> + +<p>'I,' said the little man, 'was a house-painter at Crewe.'</p> + +<p>'And I,' said the grinning chum, 'was conductor of a 28 motor-'bus. I +expect we've often dropped you at the Y.M.C.A. in Tottenham Court Road, +sir.'</p> + +<p>'And you?'—I turned to the last comer—'if it isn't a rude question?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, I,' said he, with the pride that would conceal itself, 'I'm in the +building line. But I operate a bioscope at night!'</p> + +<p>The historic present put his attitude in a nutshell. He might have been +operating that bioscope the night before, be due back the next, and just +having a look at things in France on his night off. His expert eye was +not perceptibly impressed with the spectacle of war as he was seeing it +off the films; but the house-painter seemed to be making the most of his +long holiday from house-painting, and my old friend the conductor did +not sigh in my hearing for his 28.</p> + +<p>I took the party back with me to the counter, where they honoured me by +partaking of cocoa and biscuits as my guests. It was all there was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> to +do for three such hardy and mature philosophers; and I never saw or +heard of them again, long as their cap-badge set me looking for one or +other of their pleasant faces underneath. It was always rather sad when +we had made friends with a man who never came near us again. In times of +heavy fighting it was no wonder, but in the winter it seemed in the +nature of a black mark against the hut.</p> + +<p>There were two other Riflemen who were in that night, and hit me harder +in a softer spot. They were both tragically young, one of them a pretty +boy in a muffler that might have been knitted by any mother in the land. +They were not enjoying their war, these two, but they smiled none the +less as they let it out; they had come in of their own free will, as +soon as ever their tender years allowed, and survived all the carnage of +the Somme and of Passchendaele. They could afford to smile; but they had +also outlived their romantic notions of a war, and were too young to +bear it willingly in any other spirit. They had honest shudders for the +horrors they had seen, and they frankly loathed going back into the mud +or ice of the December trenches.</p> + +<p>'Every time,' said the pretty boy, as they took cocoa with me, 'it seems +worse.'</p> + +<p>'But for the Y.M.C.A.,' said the other, with simple feeling, 'I believe +I should have gone mad.'</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span>That was something to hear. But what was there to say to such a pair? +One had been a clerk in Huddersfield; the other, a shade less gentle, +but, to equalise the appeal, an only child, foreman of some works in +Derbyshire. Indubitably they were both wishing themselves back in their +old situations; but equally without a doubt they were both still proud +of the act of sacrifice which had brought them to this. The last was the +frame of mind to recall by hook or crook. One can be proud of such boys, +even if their spirit is not all it was, and so perhaps make them prouder +of themselves; the hard case is the man who waited for compulsion, who +has no old embers of loyalty or enterprise to coax into a modest flame. +This type takes a lot of waking up, and yet, like other heavy sleepers, +once awake may do as well as any.</p> + +<p>At the foot of our hut, beyond piano, billiard-table, and platform (only +the case the billiard-table had come in), was the Quiet Room in which +the men were entitled to read and write without interruption. One of +those first nights I peeped in there with my pipe, at a moment of +fourfold psychology.</p> + +<p>In one corner two men were engaged in some form of violent prayer or +intercession; not on their knees, but seated side by side. One, and he +much the younger of the two, appeared to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span> wrestling for the other's +soul, to be at all but physical grips with some concrete devil of his +inner vision; at any rate he was making a noise that entirely destroyed +the character of our Quiet Room. But the other occupants, so far from +complaining, seemed equally wrapped up in their own affairs, and +oblivious to the pother. The third man was writing a tremendous letter, +at great speed, face and hands and flying pencil strongly lighted by a +candle-end almost under his nose, more shame for our poor lamplight! The +fourth and last of the party, a good-looking Guardsman with a puzzled +frown, poising the pencil of an unready scribe, at once invoked my aid +in another form of literary enterprise. He was making his will in his +field pocket-book; could I tell him how to spell the pretty name of one +of his little daughters? Would I mind looking it all over, and seeing if +it would do?</p> + +<p>'Going up the Line for the first time on Tuesday,' he explained, 'and +it's as well to be prepared.'</p> + +<p>He was perfectly calm about it. He had thought of everything; his wife, +I remember, was to have 'the float and the two horses, to do the best +she can with'; but the little girls were specifically remembered, and +the identity of each clinched by their surname after the one that took +more spelling. A dairyman, I imagined<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span> from his mild phlegmatic face; +but it seemed he was the village butcher somewhere in Leicestershire. +His date of enrolment bespoke either the conscript or the eleventh-hour +volunteer, and his sad air made me decide which in my own mind. He had +obviously no stomach for the trenches, but on the other hand he showed +no fear. It was the kind of passive courage I longed to fan into +enthusiasm, but knew I never could. I am glad I had not the impertinence +to try. Two or three weeks later, I found myself serving a delightfully +gay and jaunty Guardsman, in whom I suddenly recognised my friend.</p> + +<p>'Come back all right, then?' I could only say.</p> + +<p>'Rather!' said he, with schoolboy gusto. He was another being; the +trenches themselves had wrought the change. I would not put a V.C. past +that butcher if he is still alive, or past any other tardy patriot for +that matter. Patriotism is a ray of inner light, and may never even come +to a glow of carnal courage; on the other hand, it is the greatest +mistake to impute cowardice to the shirker. Selfishness is oftener the +restraining power, insensibility oftener still. After all, even in the +officer class, it was not everybody who could see that personal +considerations ceased to exist on the day war broke out. This busy +butcher had been a fine man all the time, and not unnaturally taken up +with the price of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span> sheep, the tricks of the weather, the wife and the +little girls. May the float and the two horses yet be his to drive more +furiously than of old!</p> + +<p>A few nights later still, and the pretty ex-clerk was smiling through +his collar of soft muffler across the counter. He, too, had made his +tour without disaster, or as much discomfort as he feared, and so had +his chum the whilom foreman. These reunions were always a delight to me, +sometimes a profound reassurance and relief. But those first three jolly +Riflemen had vanished from my ken, and I wish I knew their fate.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="SUNDAY_ON_BOARD" id="SUNDAY_ON_BOARD"></a>SUNDAY ON BOARD</h3> + +<p>I see from my diary it was on a Sunday night I found that memorable +quartette so diversely employed in our Quiet Room. So, after all, there +had been something to lead up to the most singular feature of the scene. +Sunday is Sunday in a Y.M.C.A. hut, and in ours it was no more a day of +rest than it is in any regular place of worship; for that is exactly +what we were privileged to provide for a very famous Division whose +headquarters were then in our immediate neighbourhood.</p> + +<p>Overnight the orderlies would work late arranging the chairs +church-fashion, moving the billiard-table, and preparing the platform +for a succession of morning services. These might begin with a +celebration of the Holy Communion at nine, to be followed by a C. of E. +parade service at ten and one for mixed Nonconformists, or possibly for +Presbyterians only, at eleven; the order might be reversed, and the +opening celebration was not inevitable; but the preparations were the +same for all denominations and all degrees of ceremonial.</p> + +<p>In a secular sense the hut was closed all morn<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span>ing. But in our private +precincts those Sabbaths were not so easy to observe. The free forenoon +was too good a chance to count the week's takings, amounting in a busy +canteen like ours to several thousand francs; this took even a quick +hand all his time, what with the small foul notes that first defied the +naked eye, and then fell to shreds between the fingers; and often have I +watched my gay young leader, his confidence ruffled by an alien frown, +slaving like a miser between a cross-fire of stentorian hymns. For the +cinema, ever our rival, was in similar request between the same hours; +and we were lucky if the selfsame hymn, in different keys and stages, +did not smite simultaneously upon either ear.</p> + +<p>On a Sunday afternoon we opened at four instead of half-past, and drove +a profane trade as merrily as in the week until the hut service at +six-thirty. During service the counter was closed; and after service, in +our hut, we drew a firm line at tea and biscuits for what was left of +the working night.</p> + +<p>Neither of ourselves being ordained of any denomination, we as a rule +requisitioned one of the many ministers among the Y.M.C.A. workers in +our district to preach the sermon and offer up the prayers: almost +invariably he was the shepherd of some Nonconformist fold at home, and a +speaker born or made. But the men<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span> themselves set matters going, +congregating at the platform end and singing hymns—their favourite +hymns—not many of them mine—for a good half-hour before the pastor was +due to appear. Of course, only a proportion of those present joined in; +but it was a surprising proportion; and the uncritical forbearance of +those who did not take part used to impress me quite as much as the +unflinching fervour of those who did. But then it is not too soon to say +that in all my months in an Army area I never once saw or heard +Religion, in any shape or form, flouted by look or word.</p> + +<p>The hymns were always started by the same man, a spectacled N.C.O. in a +Red Cross unit, with a personality worthy of his stripes. I think he +must have been a street preacher before the war; at any rate he used to +get leave to hold a service of his own on Tuesday evenings, and I have +listened to his sermon more than once. Indeed, it was impossible not to +listen, every rasping word of the uncompromising harangue being more +than audible at our end of the hut, no matter what we were doing. The +man had an astounding flow of spiritual invective, at due distance the +very drum-fire of withering anathema, but sorry stuff of a familiar +order at close range. It was impossible not to respect this red-hot +gospeller, who knew neither fear<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span> nor doubt, nor the base art of mincing +words; and he had a strong following among the men, who seemed to enjoy +his onslaughts, whether they took them to heart or not. But I liked him +better on a Sunday evening, when his fiery spirit was content to 'warm +the stage' for some meek minister by a preliminary service of right +hearty song.</p> + +<p>But those ministers were wonders in their way; not a man of them so meek +upon the platform, nor one but had the knack of fluent, pointed, and +courageous speech. They spoke without notes, from the break of the +platform, like tight-sleeved conjurors; and they spoke from their hearts +to many that beat the faster for their words. In that congregation there +were no loath members; only those who liked need sit and listen; the +rest were free to follow their own devices, within certain necessary +limitations. The counter, to be sure, had those green curtains drawn +across it for the nonce. But all at that end of the hut were welcome as +ever to their game of draughts, their cigarettes and newspapers, even +their murmur of conversation. It generally happened, however, that the +murmur died away as the preacher warmed to his work, and the bulk of the +address was followed in attentive silence by all present. I used to +think this a greater than any pulpit triumph ever<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span> won; and when it was +all over, and the closing hymn had been sung with redoubled fervour, a +knot of friendly faces would waylay the minister on his passage up the +hut.</p> + +<p>And yet how much of his success was due to the sensitive response of +these simple-hearted, uncomplaining travellers in the valley of Death! +No work of man is easier to criticise than a sermon, no sort of +criticism cheaper or maybe in poorer taste; and yet I have felt, with +all envy of their gift and their sincerity, that even these powerful +preachers were, many of them, missing their great opportunity, missing +the obvious point. Morality was too much their watchword, Sin the too +frequent burden of their eloquence. It is not as sinners that we should +view the men who are fighting for us in the great war against +international sin. They are soldiers of Christ if ever such drew sword; +then let them contemplate the love of Christ, and its human reflex in +their own heroic hearts, not the cleft in the hoof of all who walk this +earth! That, and the grateful love we also bear them, who cannot fight +ourselves, seem to me the gist of war-time Christianity: that, and the +immortality of the soul they may be rendering up at any moment for our +sake and for His.</p> + +<p>It is hateful to think of these great men in the light of their little +sins. What thistledown<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span> to weigh against their noble sacrifice! Yet +there are those who expatiate on soldiers' sins as though the same men +had never committed any in their unregenerate civil state, before +putting hand to the redemption of the world; who would charge every +frailty to the war's account, as if vice had not flourished, to common +knowledge and the despair of generations, in idyllic villages untouched +by any previous war, and run like a poisoned vein through all the +culture of our towns. The point is not that the worst has still to be +eradicated out of poor human nature, but that the best as we know it now +is better than the best we dared to dream in happier days.</p> + +<p>Such little sins as they denounce, and ask to be forgiven in the +sinner's name! Bad language, for one; as if the low thoughtless word +should seriously belittle the high deliberate deed! The decencies of +language let us by all manner of means observe, but as decencies, not as +virtues without which a man shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Taste +is the bed-rock of this matter, and what is harmless at one's own +fireside might well empty a public hall and put the police in +possession. To stigmatise mere coarseness of speech as a first-class sin +is to defeat an admirable end by the unwitting importation of a false +yet not unnatural glamour.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span>The thing does matter, because the modern soldier is less 'full of +strange oaths' than of certain <i>façons de parler</i> which must not be +suffered to pass into the currency of the village ale-house after the +war. They are base coin, very; but still the primary offence is against +manners, not morals; and public opinion, not pulpit admonition, is the +thing to put it down.</p> + +<p>In a Y.M.C.A. hut the wise worker will not hear very much more than he +is meant to hear; but there are times when only a coward or a fool would +hold his own tongue, and that is when an ounce of tact is worth a ton of +virtue. It is well to consider every minute what the men are going +through, how entirely the refining influence of their womankind has +passed out of their lives, and how noticeably far from impropriety are +the thoughts that clothe themselves in this grotesque and hateful habit +of speech.</p> + +<p>Let me close a tender topic with the last word thereon, as spoken by a +Canadian from Vimy Ridge, who came into my hut (months later, when I had +one of my own) but slightly sober, yet more so than his friends, with +whom remonstrance became imperative.</p> + +<p>'I say! I say!' one had to call down from the counter. 'The language is +getting pretty thick down there!'</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span>'Beg pardon, sir. Very sorry,' said my least inebriated friend, at once; +then, after a moment's thought—'But the shells is pretty thick where we +come from!'</p> + +<p>It was a better answer than he knew.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p> + +<h2 class="newchapter"><a name="CHRISTMAS_UP_THE_LINE" id="CHRISTMAS_UP_THE_LINE"></a>CHRISTMAS UP THE LINE</h2> + +<p class="date">(1917)</p> + + +<h3 class="sectionone"><a name="UNDER_FIRE" id="UNDER_FIRE"></a>UNDER FIRE</h3> + +<p>Soon the shy wintry sun was wearing a veil of frosted silver. The eye of +the moon was on us early in the afternoon, ever a little wider open and +a degree colder in its stare. All one day our mud rang like an anvil to +the tramp of rubicund customers in greatcoats and gloves; and the next +day they came and went like figures on the film next-door, silent and +outstanding upon a field of dazzling snow.</p> + +<p>But behind the counter we had no such seasonable sights to cheer us; +behind the counter, mugs washed overnight needed wrenching off their +shelf, and three waistcoats were none too many. In our room, for all the +stove that reddened like a schoolgirl, and all the stoking that we did +last thing at night, no amount of sweaters, blankets, and miscellaneous +wraps was excessive provision against the early morning. By dawn, which +leant like lead against our canvas windows, and poked sticks of icy +light through<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span> a dozen holes and crannies, the only unfrozen water in +the hut was in the kitchen boiler and in my own hot-water bottle. I made +no bones about this trusty friend; it hung all day on a conspicuous +nail; and it did not prevent me from being the first up in the morning, +any more than modesty shall deter me from trumpeting the fact. One of us +had to get up to lay the stove and light the fire, and it was my chance +of drawing approximately even with my brisk commander. No competing with +his invidious energy once he had taken the deck; but here was a march I +could count on stealing while he slept the sleep of the young. Often I +was about before the orderlies, and have seen the two rogues lying on +their backs in the dim light of their kitchen, side by side like huge +dirty children. As for me, blackened and bent double by my exertions, +swaddled in fleece lining and other scratch accoutrements, no doubt I +looked the lion grotesque of the party; but, by the time the wood +crackled and the chimney drew, I too had my inner glow.</p> + +<p>So we reached the shortest day; then came a break, and for me the +Christmas outing of a lifetime.</p> + +<p>The Y.M.C.A. in that sector had just started an outpost of free cheer in +the support line. It was a new departure for the winter only, a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span> kind of +cocoa-kitchen in the trenches, and we were all very eager to take our +turn as cooks. The post was being manned by relays of the workers in our +area, one at a time and for a week apiece; but at Christmas there were +to be substantial additions to the nightly offering. It was the obvious +thing to suggest that extra help would be required, and to volunteer for +the special duty. But one may jump at such a chance and yet feel a +sneaking thrill of morbid apprehension, and yet again enjoy the whole +thing the more for that very feeling. Such was my case as I lit the fire +on the morning of the 21st of December, foolishly wondering whether I +should ever light it again. By all accounts our pitch up the Line was +none too sheltered in any sense, and the severity of the weather was not +the least intimidating prospect. But for forty mortal months I would +have given my right eye to see trench life with my left; and I was still +prepared to strike that bargain and think it cheap.</p> + +<p>The man already on the spot was coming down to take me back with him: we +met at our headquarters over the mid-day meal, by which time my romantic +experience had begun. I had walked the ruined streets in a shrapnel +helmet, endeavouring to look as though it belonged to me, and had worn a +gas-mask long enough to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span> hope I might never have to do so for dear life. +The other man had been wearing his in a gas-alarm up the Line; he had +also been missed by a sniper, coming down the trench that morning; and +had much to say about a man who had not been missed, but had lain, +awaiting burial, all the day before on the spot where we were to spend +our Christmas ... It was three o'clock and incipient twilight when we +made a start.</p> + +<p>Our little headquarters Ford 'bus took us the first three miles, over +the snow of a very famous battle-field, not a whole year old in history, +to the mouth of a valley planted with our guns. Alighting here we made +as short work of that valley as appearances permitted, each with a +shifty eye for the next shell-hole in case of need; there were plenty of +them, including some extremely late models, but it was not our lot to +see the collection enlarged. Neither had our own batteries anything to +say over our heads; and presently the trenches received us in fair +order, if somewhat over-heated. I speak for myself and that infernal +fleece lining, which I had buttoned back into its proper place. It alone +precluded an indecent haste.</p> + +<p>But in the trenches we could certainly afford to go slower, and I for +one was not sorry. It was too wonderful to be in them in the flesh. They +were almost just what I had always pic<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span>tured them; a little narrower, +perhaps; and the unbroken chain of duck-boards was a feature not +definitely foreseen; and the printed sign-boards had not the expected +air of a joke, might rather have been put up by order of the London +County Council. But the extreme narrowness was a surprise, and indeed +would have taken my breath away had I met my match in some places. An +ordinary gaunt warrior caused me to lean hard against my side of the +trench, and to apologise rather freely as he squeezed past; a file of +them in leather jerkins, with snow on their toe-caps and a twinkle under +their steel hat-brims, almost tempted me to take a short cut over the +top. I wondered would I have got very far, or dropped straight back into +the endless open grave of the communication trench.</p> + +<p>Seen from afar, as I knew of old, that was exactly what the trenches +looked like; but from the inside they appeared more solid and rather +deeper than any grave dug for the dead. The whole thing put me more in +mind of primitive ship-building—the great ribs leaning outwards—flat +timbers in between—and over all sand-bags and sometimes wire-work with +the precise effect of bulwarks and hammock-netting. Even the mouths of +dug-outs were not unlike port-holes flush with the deck; and many a +piquant glimpse we caught in passing, bits of faces lit by +cigarette-<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span>ends and half-sentences or snatches of sardonic song; then +the trench would twist round a corner into solitude, as a country road +shakes off a hamlet, and on we trudged through the thickening dusk. +Once, where the sand-bags were lower than I had noticed, I thought some +very small bird had chirped behind my head, until the other man turned +his and smiled.</p> + +<p>'Hear that?' he said. 'That was a bullet! It's just about where they +sniped at <i>me</i> this morning.'</p> + +<p>I shortened my stick, and crept the rest of the way like the oldest +inhabitant of those trenches, as perhaps I was.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="CASUALTIES" id="CASUALTIES"></a>CASUALTIES</h3> + +<p>It was nearly dark when our journey ended at one of those sunken roads +which make a name for themselves on all battle-fields, and duly +complicate the Western Front. Sometimes they cut the trench as a level +crossing does a street, and then it is not a bad rule to cross as though +a train were coming. Sometimes it is the trench that intersects the +sunken road; this happened here. We squeezed through a gap in the +sand-bags, a gap exactly like a stile in a stone fence, and from our +feet the bleak road rose with a wild effect into the wintry sunset.</p> + +<p>It was a road of some breadth, but all crinkled and misshapen in its +soiled bandage of frozen snow. Palpable shell-holes met a touchy eye for +them on every side; one, as clean-cut as our present footprints, +literally adjoined a little low sand-bagged shelter, of much the same +dimensions as a blackfellow's gunyah in the bush. This inviting +habitation served as annex to a small enough hut at least three times +its size; the two cowered end to end against the sunken roadside, each +roof a bit of bank-top in more than camou<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span>flage, with real grass doing +its best to grow in real sods.</p> + +<p>'No,' said the other man, 'only the second half of the hut's our hut. +This first half's a gum-boot store. The sand-bagged hutch at the end of +all things is where we sleep.'</p> + +<p>The three floors were sunk considerably below the level of the road, and +a sunken track of duck-boards outside the semi-detached huts was like +the bottom of a baby trench. We looked into our end; it was colder and +darker than the open air, but cubes of packing-case and a capacious +boiler took stark shape in the gloom.</p> + +<p>'I should think we might almost start our fire,' said the other man. 'We +daren't by daylight, on account of the smoke; we should have a shell on +us in no time. As it is, we only get waifs and strays from their +machine-guns; but one took the rim off a man's helmet, as neat as you +could do it with a pair of shears, only last night out here on these +duck-boards.'</p> + +<p>Yet those duck-boards outside the hut were the next best cover to the +hut itself; accordingly the men greatly preferred waiting about in the +open road, which the said machine-guns could spray at pleasure on the +chance of laying British dust. So I gathered from the other man: so I +very soon saw for myself. Night had fallen, and at last we had lighted +our boiler fire, with the help<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> of a raw-boned orderly supplied by the +battalion of Jocks then holding the front line. And the boiler fire had +retaliated by smoking all three of us out of the hut.</p> + +<p>This was an initial fiasco of each night I was there; to it I owe sights +that I can still see as plain as the paper under my pen, and bits of +dialogue and crashes of orchestral gun-fire, maddeningly impossible to +reproduce. Are there no gramophone records of such things? If not, I +make a present of the idea to those whom it officially concerns. They +are as badly needed as any films, and might be more easily obtained.</p> + +<p>The frosty moon was now nearly full, and a grey-mauve sky, wearing just +the one transcendent jewel of light, as brilliant in its way as the +dense blue of equatorial noon. Upon this noble slate the group of armed +men, waiting about in the road above the duck-boards, was drawn in +shining outline; silvered rifles slung across coppery leathern +shoulders; earthenware mugs turned to silver goblets in their hands, and +each tilted helmet itself a little fallen moon. A burst of gun-fire, and +not a helmet turned; the rat-tat-tat of a machine-gun, but no shining +shoulder twinkled with the tiniest shrug. And yet the devil's orchestra +might have been tuning up at their feet, under the very stage they trod +with culpable unconcern.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span>Two melodramatic little situations (as they seemed to me, but not to +them) came about for our immediate benefit, and in appropriately quick +succession as I remember them. A wounded Jock figured in each; neither +was a serious case; the first one too light, it was feared, to score at +all. The man did just come limping along our duck-boards, but only very +slightly, though I rather think a comrade's arm played a fifth-wheel +part in the proceedings. It was only a boot that had been sliced across +the instep. A shoemaker's knife could not have made a cleaner job so +far; but 'a bit graze on ma fut' was all the sufferer himself could +claim, amid a murmur of sympathy that seemed exaggerated, ill as it +became a civilian even to think so.</p> + +<p>The other casualty was a palpable hit in the fore-arm. First aid had +been applied, including an empty sand-bag as top bandage, before the +wounded man appeared with his escort in the moonlight; but now there was +a perverse shortage of that very commiseration which had been lavished +upon the man with the wounded boot. This was a real wound, 'a Blighty +one' and its own reward: the man who could time matters to so cynical a +nicety with regard to Christmas, and then only 'get it in the arrum,' +which notoriously means a long time rather than a bad one, was obviously +not a man to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span> pitied. He was a person to be plied with the driest +brand of North British persiflage. Signs of grim envy did not spoil the +joke, for there were those of as grim a magnanimity behind it all; and +the pale lad himself, taking their nonsense in the best of part, yet +shyly, as though they had a right to complain, and he only wished they +could all have been wounded and sent home together, was their match in +simple subtlety and hidden kindness. And between them all they were +better worth seeing and hearing than the moonlight and the guns.</p> + +<p>It is easy to make too much of a trifle that was not one to me, but in a +sense my first casualty, almost a poignant experience. But there are no +trifles in the trenches in the dead of winter; there is not enough +happening; everything that does happen is magnified accordingly; and the +one man hit on a quiet day is a greater celebrity than the last survivor +of his platoon in the day of big things. The one man gets an audience, +and the audience has time to think twice about him.</p> + +<p>In the same way nothing casts a heavier gloom than an isolated death in +action, such as the one which had occurred here only the previous day. +All ranks were still talking about the man who had lain unburied where +his comrades were now laughing in the moonlight; detail upon detail I +heard before the night was out, and all had the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span> pathos of the isolated +case, the vividness of a portrait as against a group. The man had been a +Lewis gunner, and he had died flushed with the crowning success of his +career. That was the consoling detail: in his last week on earth, in +full view of friend and foe, he had brought off the kind of shot a whole +battalion boasts about. His bird still lay on No-Man's Land, a jumble of +wire and mangled planes; not the sight to sober a successful sportsman, +and him further elated by the promise of special and immediate leave. No +time for a lad of his mettle to weary of well-doing; and he knew of a +sniper worth adding to his bag. The sniper, however, would seem to have +known of him, and in the ensuing duel took special care of himself. Not +so the swollen-hearted sportsman who was going on leave and meant +earning it. Many shots had been exchanged without result; at last, +unable to bear it any longer, our poor man had leapt upon the parapet, +only to drop back like a stone, shot dead not by the other duellist but +by a second sniper posted elsewhere for the purpose. And this tragically +ordinary tragedy was all the talk that night over the mugs. Grim +snatches linger. One quite sorrowful chum regretted the other's braces, +buried with him and of all things the most useless in a grave, and he +himself in need of a new pair. It did seem<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span> as though he might have +taken them off the body, and with the flown spirit's hearty sanction.</p> + +<p>They did not say where they had buried him, but our sunken roadside was +not without its own wooden cross of older standing. It was the tiniest +and flimsiest I ever saw, and yet it had stood through other days, when +the road was in other hands; those other hands must have put it up. 'An +Unknown British Hero of the R.F.A.' was all the legend they had left to +endure with this ironical tenacity.</p> + +<p>About midnight we came to an end of our water, supplied each morning by +a working-party detailed for the job: with more water we might have done +worse than keep open all night and kill the bitter day with sleep. As it +was, we were soon creeping through a man-hole curtained by a frozen +blanket into the corrugated core of the sand-bagged gunyah. It was as +much as elbow-high down the middle of the span; the beds were side by +side, so close together that we had to get in by the foot; and only for +a wager would I have attempted to undress in the space remaining.</p> + +<p>But not for any money on such a night! A particularly feeble oil-stove, +but all we had to warm the hut by day, had been doing what it could for +us here at the eleventh hour; but all it had done was to stud the roof +with beads of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span> moisture and draw the damp out of the blankets. We got +between them in everything except our boots; even trench-coats were not +discarded, nor fleece linings any longer to be despised. The other man +was soon asleep. But I had provided myself with appropriate reading, and +for some time burnt a candle to old James Grant and <i>The Romance of +War</i>.</p> + +<p>There are those who delight in declaring there is no romance in this +war; there was enough for me that night. Not many inches from my side +the nearest shell had burst, not many days ago by some miracle without +blowing in a sand-bag; not many inches from my head, and perhaps no +deeper in the earth, lay the skull of our 'unknown hero of the R.F.A.' I +for one did not sleep the worse for his honoured company, or for our +common lullaby the guns.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="AN_INTERRUPTED_LUNCH" id="AN_INTERRUPTED_LUNCH"></a>AN INTERRUPTED LUNCH</h3> + +<p>But there was another side to our life up the line, thanks to the regal +hospitality of Battalion Headquarters. Thither we were bidden to all +meals, and there we presented ourselves with feverish punctuality at +least three times a day.</p> + +<p>It was only about a minute's walk along the trench, past more dug-outs +lit by cigarette-ends, past a trench store-cupboard quietly labelled +BOMBS, and a sentry in a sand-bagged <i>cul-de-sac</i>. The door at which we +knocked was no more imposing than our own, the sanctuary within no +roomier, but like the deck-house of a well-appointed yacht after a +tramp's forecastle. Art-green walls and fixed settees, a narrow table +all spotless napery and sparkling glass, forks and spoons as brilliant +as a wedding-present, all these were there or I have dreamt them. I +would even swear to flowers on the table, if it were a case of swearing +one way or other. But what they gave us to eat, with two exceptions, I +cannot in the least remember; it was immaterial in that atmosphere and +company, though I recall the other man's bated breathings on the point. +My two exceptions were porridge at breakfast and scones at tea; both +were as authen<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span>tic as the mess-waiter's speech; and it would not have +surprised me if the porridge had been followed by trout from the burn, +so much was that part of the Line just then a part of Scotland.</p> + +<p>It was a genial atmosphere in more ways than one. Always on coming in +one's spectacles turned to ground-glass and one's out-door harness to +melting lead. The heat came up an open stairway from the bowels of the +earth, as did the chimney which I painfully mistook for a hand-rail the +first night, when the Colonel was kind enough to take me down below. It +was the first deep dug-out I had seen in working order, and it seemed to +me deliciously safe and snug; the officers' berths in fascinating tiers, +again as on shipboard, all but the Colonel's own, by itself at one end. +It made me very jealous, yet rather proud, when I thought of our +freezing lair upon the sunken road.</p> + +<p>Then, before we went, he took me up to an O.P. on top of all. I think we +climbed up to it out of the <i>cul-de-sac</i>, and I know I cowered behind a +chunk of parapet; but what I remember best is the zig-zag labyrinth in +the foreground, that unending open grave with upturned earth complete, +yet quiet as any that ever was filled in; and then the wide sweep of +moonlit snow, enemy country nearly all, but at the moment still and +peaceful as an arctic floe. Our own trenches<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span> the only solid signs of +war, like the properties in front of a panorama; not a shot or a sound +to give the rest more substance than a painted back-cloth. It was one of +those dead pauses that occur on all but the noisiest nights, and make +the whole war nowhere more unreal than on the battle-field.</p> + +<p>But when the very next day was at its quietest we had just the opposite +experience. We were sitting at luncheon in this friendly mess, and the +guns might have been a thousand miles away until they struck up all at +once, like a musical-box in the middle of a tune. Their guns, this time; +but you would not have thought it from the faces round the table. One or +two exchanged glances; a lifted eyebrow was answered by a smile; but the +conversation went on just the same until the officer nearest the door +withdrew detachedly. New subject no longer avoidable, but treated with +becoming levity. Not a bombardment, just a Strafe, we gathered; it might +have been with blank shell, had we not heard them bursting. Exit another +officer; enter man from below. Something like telegram in his hand: +retaliation requested by front line. 'Put it through to Brigade.' +Further retirements from board; less noise for moment. New sound: enemy +'plane over us, seeing what they've done. New row next door: our +machine-guns<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span> on enemy 'plane! New note in distance: retaliation to +esteemed order.... Other man and I alone at table, dying to go out and +see fun, but obviously not our place. And then in a minute it is all +over, not quite as quickly as it began, but getting on that way. Strafe +stopped: 'plane buzzing away again: machine-guns giving it up as a bad +job: cheery return of Belisarii, in the order of their going, Colonel +last and cheeriest of all.</p> + +<p>'Had my hair parted by a whizz-bang,' says he, 'up in that O.P. we were +in last night.'</p> + +<p>And, as he replenished a modest cup, the curtain might have fallen on +the only line I remember in the whole impromptu piece, which could not +have played quicker as a music-hall sketch, or held a packed audience +more entranced than the two civilian supers who had the luck to be on +the stage.</p> + +<p>But we had to pay for our entertainment; for although it turned out to +have been an absolutely bloodless Strafe, yet a portion of our parapet +had been blown in, which made it inexpedient for us to go round the +front line that afternoon, as previously arranged by our indulgent +hosts. In the evening they were going into reserve, and another famous +Regiment coming to 'take over.' The new-comers, however, were just as +good to us in their turn; and the new Colonel so kind as to take me +round himself on Christmas morning.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="CHRISTMAS_DAY" id="CHRISTMAS_DAY"></a>CHRISTMAS DAY</h3> + +<p>The tiny hut is an abode of darkness made visible by a single candle, +mounted in its own grease in the worst available position for giving +light, lest the opening of the door cast the faintest beam into the +sunken road outside. On the shelf flush with the door glimmer parental +urns with a large family of condensed-milk tins, opened and unopened, +full and empty; packing-cases in similar stages litter the duck-board +flooring, or pile it wall-high in the background; trench-coats, +gas-masks, haversacks and helmets hang from nails or repose on a ledge +of the inner wall, which is sunken roadside naked and unashamed. Two +weary figures cower over the boiler fire; they are the other man and yet +another who has come up for the night. A third person, who may look more +like me than I feel like him, hovers behind them, smoking and peering at +his watch. It is the last few minutes of Christmas Eve, and for a long +hour there has been little or nothing doing. Earlier in the evening, +from seven or so onwards, there seemed no end to the queue of armed men, +calling for their mug of cocoa and their packet of biscuits, either +singly, each for him<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span>self, or with dixies and sand-bags to be filled for +comrades on duty in the trenches.</p> + +<p>The quiet has been broken only by the sibilant song of the boiler, by +desultory conversation and bursts of gunfire as spasmodic and +inconsequent. Often a machine-gun has beaten a brief but furious tattoo +on the doors of darkness; but now come clogged and ponderous +footfalls—mud to mud on the duck-boards leading from the communication +trench—and a chit is handed in from the outer moonlight.</p> + +<blockquote><p style="text-align: right; padding-right: 2em;">'24—12—17.</p> + +<p style="padding-left: 2em; text-indent: -2em;">'To Y.M.C.A. Canteen,<br /> +'—— Avenue.</p> + +<p>'<span class="smcap">Dear Sirs</span>,—I will be much obliged if you will supply +the bearer with hot cocoa (sufficient for 90 men) +which I understand you are good enough to issue to +units in this line. The party are taking 2 hot-food +containers for the purpose.</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 30%; margin-bottom: 0em;">'Thanking you in anticipation,</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 30%; margin-bottom: 0em; margin-top: 0em; padding-left: 1em;">'I am, yours faithfully,</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 30%; margin-bottom: 0em; margin-top: 0em; padding-left: 4em;">'(Illegible),</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 30%; margin-bottom: 0em; margin-top: 0em; padding-left: 5em;">'O/C B Co.,</p> + +<p style="margin-left: 30%; margin-top: 0em; padding-left: 6em;">'1/8 (Undesirable).'</p></blockquote> + +<p>Torpid trio are busy men once more. Not enough cocoa ready-made for +ninety; fresh brew<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span> under way in fewer seconds than it takes to state +the fact. Third person already anchored beside open packing-case, +enormous sand-bag gaping between his knees, little sealed packets flying +through his hands from box to bag in twins and triplets. By now it is +Christmas morning; cakes and cigarettes are forthwith added to statutory +biscuits, and a sack is what is wanted. Third person makes shift with +second sand-bag, which having filled, he leaves his colleagues working +like benevolent fiends in the steam of fragrant cauldrons, and joins the +group outside among the shell-holes.</p> + +<p>They are consuming interim dividends of the nightly fare, as they stand +about in steely silhouette against the shrouded moonlight. The scene is +not quite so picturesque as it was last night, when no star of heaven +could live in the light of the frosty moon and every helmet was a +shining halo; to-night the only twinkle to be seen is under a helmet's +rim.</p> + +<p>'Merry Christmas, sir, an' many of 'em,' says a Tyneside voice, getting +in the first shot of a severe bombardment. The third person retaliates +with appropriate spirit; the interchange could not have been franker or +heartier in the days of actual peace on earth and apparent good-will +among men. But here they both are for a little space this Christmas +morning. Cannon may<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> drum it in with thunderous irony, and some +corner-man behind a machine-gun oblige with what sounds exactly like a +solo on the bones, but here in the midst of those familiar alarms the +Spirit of Christmas is abroad on the battle-field. He may be frightened +away—or become a casualty—at any moment. One lucky flourish with the +bones, one more addition to these sharp-edged shell-holes, and how many +of the party would have a groan left in him? One of them groans in +spirit as he thinks, never so vividly, of countless groups as full of +gay vitality as this one, blown out of existence in a blinding flash. +But his hardy friends are above such morbid imaginings; the cold appears +to be their only trouble, and of it they make light enough as they stamp +their feet. Some are sea-booted in sand-bags, and what with their +jerkins and low, round helmets, look more like a watch in oilskins and +sou'-westers than a party of Infantry.</p> + +<p>'We nevaw died o' wintaw yet,' says the Tynesider. 'It takes a lot to +kill an old soljaw.' But he owns he was a shipyard hand before the war; +and not one of them was in the Army.</p> + +<p>All hope it is the last Christmas of the war, but the Tyneside +prognostication of 'anothaw ten yeaws' is received with perfect +equanimity. There is general agreement, too, when the same oracle +dismisses the latest peace offer as 'blooff.'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span> But it must be confessed +that articulate ardour is slightly damped until somebody starts a +subject a great deal nearer home.</p> + +<p>'Who'd have thought that we should live to see a Y.M. in the support +line!'</p> + +<p>Flattering echoes from entire group.</p> + +<p>'Do you remember that chap who kept us all awake in barracks, talking of +it?'</p> + +<p>'I nevaw believed him. I thought it was a myth, sir. And nothing to pay +an' all! It must be costing the Y.M. a canny bit o' money, sir?'</p> + +<p>The third person—who has been hovering on the verge of the inveterate +first—only commits himself to the statement that he helped to give away +785 cups of cocoa and packets of biscuits the night before. Rapid +calculations ensue. 'Why, that must be nearly ten pounds a night, sir?'</p> + +<p>'Something like that.'</p> + +<p>'Heaw that, Corporal! An' now it's cigarettes an' cakes an' all!'</p> + +<p>But the containers are ready, lids screwed down upon their steaming +contents. Strong arms hoist them upon stronger backs; the plethoric +sand-bags are shouldered with still less ado, and off go the party into +the slate-coloured night, off through the communication trenches into +the firing-line they are to hold for England until the twelve hundred +and thirty-ninth daybreak of the war.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span>Peering after them with wistful glasses, the third person relapses +altogether into the first. Take away the odd two hundred, and for a +thousand days and nights my heart has been where their muffled feet will +be treading in another minute. Yes; a round thousand must be almost the +exact length of days since I first came out here in the spirit, and to +stay. But never till this year did I seriously dream of following in the +flesh, or till this moment feel the front line like a ball at my feet. +Even the day before yesterday the arrangement was not so definite as it +is to-day; it was not the Colonel himself who was to have taken us round +by special favour and appointment. Yet how easily, had the Strafe +happened half-an-hour later than it did, might we not have come in for +it, perhaps at the very place where the parapet was blown down! It would +have been a wonderful experience, especially as there were no +casualties. Will anything of the kind happen to-day? I have a feeling +that something may; but then I have had that feeling every sentient +moment up the Line. And nothing that can come can come amiss; that is +another of my feelings here, if not the strongest of them all. This +Christmas morning it rings almost like a carol in the heart, almost like +a peal of Christmas bells—jangled indeed by the heart's own bitter +flaws, and yet piercing sweet as Life itself.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span>But for all my elderly civilian excitement, before a risk too tiny to +enter a young fighting head at all, sleep does not fail me on a new +couch of my own construction. The sand-bagged lair was none too dry in +the late hard frost; in the unseasonable thaw that seems to be setting +in, it is no place for crabbed age. Youth is welcome to the two beds +with the water now standing on their indiarubber sheets, and youth seems +quite honestly to prefer them; so I make mine on the biscuit-boxes in +the shed, turn my toes to the still glowing coke in the boiler fire, +press my soles to the hot-water bottle which has distinguished itself by +freezing during the day, and huddle down as usual in all the indoor and +outdoor garments I have with me, under my share of the blankets, which I +have been drying assiduously every evening. <i>The Romance of War</i> +performs its nightly unromantic office ... and I have had many a worse +night upon a spring-mattress.</p> + +<p>Colonel finished breakfast when I reach the mess; ready for me by the +time I have had mine. We glove and muffle ourselves, adjust gas-masks +'at the ready,' and sally forth on his common round and my high +adventure, tapping the still slippery duck-boards with our sticks.</p> + +<p>A colourless morning, neither freezing nor thawing; visibility probably +low, luminosity certainly mediocre; in fact, typical Christmas<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span> weather +of the modern realistic school, as against the Christmas Number weather +of the last ten days. Yet it is the Christmas Number atmosphere that +haunts me as an aura the more tenacious for its utter absence on all +sides: the sprig of holly in the cake, the presents on the table, the +joys of parent and child—never more at one—and blinding visions in +both capacities, down to that last war-time Christmas dinner at the +Carlton ... such are the sights that await me after all in the +front-line trench! I have dreamt of it for years, yet now that I am here +it is of the dead years I dream, or of this Christmas morning anywhere +but where it is one's beatitude to be spending it.</p> + +<p>Not that I fail to see a good deal of what is before my eyes at last; +but never for many yards is the trench that we are in the only one I +seem to see, and a comparison between the two is irresistible. Perhaps +the width and solidity of this trench would impress me less if it were +not all so different from Belgium as I all but knew it in 1915; the +machine-gunners at their posts in the deep bays, like shepherds +sheltering behind a wall, yet somehow able to see through the wall, +would stand out less if the fire-step also were manned in the old way. +But now trenches are held more by machinery and by fewer men, at any +rate, in daytime; and at night men evi<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span>dently do not sleep so near their +work as then they did; at least, I look in vain for dug-outs in this +sector of the front line. And I still look in vain for trouble, though +all the time I feel all sorts of possibilities impending: a strange +mixture of curiosity and dread it is—ardent curiosity, and quite +pleasurable dread—that weaves itself into the warp of all inward and +outward impressions whatsoever: can it be peculiar to self-ridden +civilians, or are there really brave men like the Colonel in front of me +(with a bar to his D.S.O.) who have undergone similar sensations at +their baptism of fire?</p> + +<p>It is not exactly mine; nothing comes anything like so near me as that +sniper's bullet on the way up the other day; but little black bursts do +keep occurring high overhead, where one of our airmen is playing peep +among the clouds. The fragments must be falling somewhere in the +neighbourhood; and a more alarming kind of shell has just burst on the +high ground between our parados and the support line. Not very close—I +must have been listening to something else—but the Colonel points out +the smoking place with his stick and his quiet smile. His smile is part +of him, very quiet and contained, full of easy-going power, and a +kindness incapable of condescension. He might be my country-house host +pointing out the excellence of his crop,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span> but his touch is lighter and I +am not expected to admire. He is, of all soldiers I ever met, just the +one I would choose to be alongside if I had to be hit. I don't believe +his face would alter very much, and I should be dying not to alter it +more than I could help.</p> + +<p>But, in spite of all interior preparation, it is not to be. He has given +me a glimpse of No-Man's Land, not through a periscope but in a piece of +ordinary looking-glass; we are nearing the damaged place where his +presence is required and mine emphatically is not. Not that he says +anything of the sort, but I see it in his kindly smile as he hands me +over to his runner for safe-conduct to the place from whence I came. +Still as much disappointed as relieved, as though a definite excitement +had been denied to me, I turned and went with equal reluctance and +alacrity.</p> + +<p>'The bravest officer in the British Army!' was the runner's testimony to +our friend. I have heard the honest words before, but this +hero-worshipper had chapter and verse for his creed: 'Six times he has +been wounded in this war, and never yet gone back to Blighty for a +wound!'</p> + +<p>I had not noticed the six gold stripes—if any—but it is not everybody +who wears his full allowance. And if ever I met a man who cared less +than most brave men about all such things, I believe I said good-bye to +him last Christmas Day.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span>We were to meet again in the evening; in the meantime I was to have my +Christmas dinner with the other Colonel and his merry men, now in +reserve. I found them in an ex-Hun dug-out, more like a forecastle than +the other headquarters; everything underground, and the bunks ranged +round the board; but there was the same sheen on the table-cloth, the +same glitter of glass and plate, the same good cheer and a turkey worthy +of the day, and a ham worthy of the turkey, and a plum-pudding worthy of +them both. It is not for the guest of a mess to say grace in public; but +Christmas dinner in the trenches is a case apart. As the school tag +might have had it, <i>non cuivis civi talia contingunt</i>.</p> + +<p>There were crackers, too, I suddenly remember, and the old idiotic paper +caps and mottoes, and Christmas cards wherever one went. In the new +legions there is nearly always some cunning hand to supply the unit with +a topical Christmas card: one of our two Battalions had a beauty, and +even the Y.M.C.A. made bold to circulate an artistic apotheosis of our +quarters on the sunken road. But those are not the Christmas cards I +still preserve; my ill-gotten souvenirs are typewritten scraps on +typewriting-paper, unillustrated, but all the more to the point: 'Best +wishes for Xmas and Good Luck in 1918, from the Brigadier and Staff, +—th Infantry<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> Brigade.'—'Christmas Greetings and All Good Luck from +—th Infantry Brigade Headquarters.'—'Christmas Greetings and Good Luck +from ——th Divisional Artillery.' I must say this kind appealed to me, +though I sent away a good many of the more ambitious variety. In neither +was there any conventional nonsense about a 'happy' or even a 'merry' +Christmas; and that, in view of the well-known perversity of the Comic +Spirit, may have been one reason why so much merriment accrued. Nor did +the contrast between unswerving ceremonial and a sardonic simplicity, as +shown in this matter of the Christmas cards, begin or end there; for +while I had followed crystal and fine table-linen into reserve for my +Christmas dinner, the hospitable board behind the front line was now +spread with newspapers, and we drank both our whisky-and-soda and our +coffee out of the same enamelled cup.</p> + +<p>The Colonel who had taken me into the front line after breakfast was not +at dinner that night; for all his wounds he had gone down with common +influenza, and I was desolated. It was my last chance of thanking him, +as the other man and I were leaving in the early morning. All day I had +been thinking of all that I had seen, and of all I had but foreseen, +though so vividly that I felt more and more as though I had actually had +some definite escape; besides, the things I had heard<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span> about him after +we parted made me covet the honour of shaking hands once more with so +very brave a man. I had my wish. In the middle of dinner a servant +emerged from below to say: 'The Colonel would like to see the Y.M.C.A. +officer before he went.'</p> + +<p>I can see him still, as I found him, hot and coughing on the bunk in the +corner by itself. 'I thought you would be interested to hear,' said he, +'that the very minute you left me this morning a rum-jar burst on the +parados just behind me. You know how I wear my helmet, with the strap +behind? It blew it off.'</p> + +<p>So my escape had been fairly definite after all, and the thing I was so +ready for had really happened 'the very minute' my back was turned! But +that, unhappily, is not the whole coincidence. Five months later it was +written of 'this good and gallant leader' that 'while inspecting his +battalion in the trenches he was struck by a fragment of shell from a +trench mortar (i.e. a rum-jar) and killed instantaneously.' My +parenthesis; the rest from <i>The Times</i> notice, which also bears out the +story of the six wounds, except that they were seven, and four of them +earned ('with an immediate award of the D.S.O.') on a single occasion. +There is more in the notice that I should like to quote, more still that +I could say even on the strength of that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span> one morning's work; but who am +I to praise so grand a man? I only know that I shall never see another +Christmas without seeing that front-line trench, and a quiet, dark man +in the pride and prime of perfect soldierhood, self-saddled with an old +camp-follower who felt as a child beside him.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="THE_BABES_IN_THE_TRENCHES" id="THE_BABES_IN_THE_TRENCHES"></a>THE BABES IN THE TRENCHES</h3> + +<p>In the morning we made our tracks in virgin snow. It had fallen heavily +in the night, and was still falling as we turned into the trench. So was +a light shower of shell; but it blew over; and now our good luck seemed +almost certain to attend us to our journey's end.</p> + +<p>The snow thinned off as we plodded on our way. But it had altered and +improved the trenches out of knowledge, lying thick along the top on +either hand and often half-way down the side, so that we seemed like +Gullivers striding between two chains of Lilliputian Alps. It was +nevertheless hard going in our valley, where the duck-boards were snowed +under for long stretches without a break, and warmer work in my fleece +lining than I had known it yet. My gas-mask was like a real mill-stone +round the neck; and though the other man had possessed himself of part +of my impedimenta, that only made me feel my age the more acutely. +Almost a great age I felt that morning; for nights on packing-cases in a +low temperature, and an early start on biscuits and condensed-milk +prepared with cold water, after short commons of sleep, are the kind<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> of +combination that will find a man out. I was not indeed complaining, but +neither was I as observant as I might have been. I had been over this +part of the ground by myself the day before, on the way to my Christmas +dinner. It did look rather different in the snow, but that was to be +expected, and the other man knew the way well. So I understood, and he +emphatically affirmed the supposition on such provocation as I from time +to time felt justified in giving the voluntary bearer of my pack. It was +only when we came to some suspiciously unfamiliar landmark, something +important (but I honestly forget what) in a bay by itself, that I +asserted myself sufficiently to call a halt.</p> + +<p>'We never passed <i>that</i> before!'</p> + +<p>'Oh, yes, we did. I'm sure we did. I think I remember it.'</p> + +<p>That ought not to have satisfied me; but you cannot openly discredit a +man who insists on carrying your pack. I was too fatigued to take it +from him, and not competent to take the lead. On he led me, perspiring +my misgivings at every pore; but under a tangled bridge of barbed wire I +made a firmer stand.</p> + +<p>'Anyhow, you don't remember <i>this</i>!' I asserted point-blank.</p> + +<p>'No. I can't say I do.'</p> + +<p>'Then how do you account for it?'</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span>'It must have been put up in the night.'</p> + +<p>I cannot remember by what further resource of casuistry that young man +induced me to follow him another yard; yet so it was, and all the shame +be mine. He himself was the next to falter and stand still in his +tracks, and finally to face me with a question whose effrontery I can +still admire:</p> + +<p>'What would you do if we met a Hun? Put your hands up?'</p> + +<p>We were, in fact, once more impinging upon the firing line, and by a +trench at the time, apparently, not much in use. I know it seemed long +hours since we had encountered a soul; but then it might have been for +the best part of another hour that my guilty guide now left me in order +to ascertain the worst, and I do not seriously suppose it was very many +minutes. I remember cooling off against the side of the trench, and +hearing absolutely nothing all the time. That I still think remarkable. +It was not snowing; the sun shone; visibility must have been better than +for two whole days; and yet nothing was happening. I might have been +waiting in some Highland glen, or in a quarry in the wilds of Dartmoor. +I think that particular silence was as impressive, as intimidating, as +the very heaviest firing that I heard in all my four months at the +front.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span>No harm came of our misadventure; it was possibly less egregious than it +sounds. A wrong turning in the snow had taken us perhaps a mile out of +our way; but a trench mile is a terribly long one, and I know how much I +should like to add for the state of the duck-boards on this occasion, +and how much more for that of a lame old duck who thought they were +never, never coming to an end! The valley of the guns was nothing after +them, though the guns were active at the time, an anti-aircraft battery +taking an academic interest in a humming speck on high. Beyond the +valley ran the road, and beyond the road the river, where we were to +have caught a boat. Of course we had just succeeded in missing it. A +homeward-bound lorry picked us up at last. And we were in plenty of time +for the plain mid-day meal at our humble headquarters in the town. But +by then I was done to the world and dead to shame. I suppose I have led +too soft a life, taking very little exercise for its own sake, though +occasionally going to the other extreme from an ulterior motive. So I +have been deservedly tired once or twice in my time; but I didn't know +what it was to be done up before last Boxing Day.</p> + +<p>The short mile down to the hut that afternoon was the longest and worst +of all. Stiffness was setting in, and the snow so deep in the ruinous +streets; but every yard of the way I looked for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span>ward to my sheetless +bed; and few things in life have disappointed me so little. The fire was +out, it seemed, and was worth lighting first. There was a sensuous joy +about that last purely voluntary effort and delay. I even think I waited +to let my old hot-water bottle share in the triumphal entry between +blankets that were at least dry, plentiful, and soft as a feather-bed +after the lids of those packing-cases up the Line!</p> + +<p>And it was our Christmas concert in the hut that evening: the copious +entertainment disturbed without spoiling my rest, rather bringing it +home to every aching inch of me as the heavenly thing it was. Song and +laughter travelled up the hut, and filtered through to me refined and +rarefied by far more than the little distance. Somebody came in and made +tea. It was better than being ill. I lay there till nine next morning; +then went down to the Officers' Baths, and came out feeling younger than +at any period of actual but insensate youth.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span></p> + +<h2 class="newchapter"><a name="DETAILS" id="DETAILS"></a>DETAILS</h2> + +<p class="date">(<i>January-February, 1918</i>)</p> + +<h3 class="sectionone"><a name="ORDERLY_MEN" id="ORDERLY_MEN"></a>ORDERLY MEN</h3> + +<p>He who loves a good novel will find himself in clover in a Y.M.C.A. hut +at the front. Not that he will have much time to read one there, except +as I read my night-cap <i>The Romance of War</i>; but a better book of the +same name will never stop writing itself out before his eyes, a book all +dialogue and illustrations, yet chock-full of marvellous characters, +drawn to a man without a word of commentary or analysis. To a man, +advisedly, since it will be a novel without a heroine; on the other +hand, all the men and boys will be heroes, at any rate to the kind of +reader I have in mind. Something will depend on him; he will have to +apply himself, as much as to any other kind of reading. He must have +eyes to see, brains to translate, a heart to love or pity or admire. He +must have the power to penetrate under other skins, to tremble for them +more than for his own, to glow and sweat with them, to shiver in shoes +he is not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span> fit to wear. Many can go as far for people who never existed +outside some author's brain; these are they on whom the most stupendous +of unwritten romances is least likely to be lost. It lies open to all +who care to take their stand behind a hut counter in a forward area in +France.</p> + +<p>The character to be seen there, and to be loved at sight! The adventures +to be heard at first-hand, and sometimes even shared! The fun, the +pathos, the underlying horror, but the grandeur lying deeper yet, all to +be encountered together at any minute of any working hour! The Romance +of War it is, but not only the romance; and talking of my sedative, with +all affection for an author who once kept me only too wide awake, it was +not of him that I thought by day behind my counter. It was of Dickens. +It was of Hugo. It was of Reade, who might have done the best battle in +British fiction (and did one of the very best sea-fights), of Scott and +Stevenson and the one or two living fathers of families who will die as +hard as theirs. Their children were always coming to life before our +eyes, especially the Dickens progeny. Sapper Pinch was a friend of mine, +with one or two near relations in the R.A.M.C. There were several +Private Tapleys, and not one of them a bore; on the contrary, they were +worth their weight in gold. And there was an older man whose<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span> real name +was obviously Sikes, though the worst thing we knew about him was that +he smoked an ounce of Nosegay every day he was down, and never said +please or thank-you. Once, when we had not seen him for sixteen days, he +knew there was something else he wanted but could not remember what. +'Nosegays!' I could tell him, and planked a packet on the counter. It +was the one time I saw him smile.</p> + +<p>But it was not only business hours that brought forth these immortals; +two of the best were always with us in the superbly contrasted persons +of our two orderlies. The slower and clumsier of the pair was by rights +an Oxfordshire shepherd; in the Army, even under necessity's sternest +law, he was matter in the wrong place altogether. Oxfordshire may not be +actually a part of Wessex, but there is one part of Oxfordshire as +remote as the scene of any of the Wessex Novels, and that was our +Strephon's native place. He might have been the real and original +Gabriel Oak—as Mr. Hardy found him, not as we fortunately know the +bucolic hero of <i>Far from the Madding Crowd</i>.</p> + +<p>Our Gabriel was the simplest bumpkin ever seen or heard off the London +stage. He it was who, in his early days in France, had heavily inquired: +'Who be this 'ere Fritz they be arl tarkin' about?' Thus did he +habitually con<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span>jugate the verb <i>to be</i>; but all his locutions and most +of his manners and customs, his puzzled head-scratchings, his audible +self-communings, his crass sagacity and his simple cunning, were +pastoral conventions of quite time-honoured theatricality. His very +walk, for all his drills, was the ponderous waddle of the stage rustic. +But on his own showing he had (like another Tommy) 'proved one too many +for his teachers' at an early stage of his military education. Not all +their precept and profanity, not all his pristine ardour as a volunteer, +had sufficed to put poor Gabriel on terms of adequate familiarity with +his rifle.</p> + +<p>'I couldn' make nothin' of it, sir,' he would say with rueful candour. +'So they couldn' make nothin' o' me.'</p> + +<p>His simplicity was a joy, though he was sometimes simple to a fault. One +morning I caught him draining our tea-pot as a loving-cup: matted head +thrown back, brawny elbows lifted, and the spout engulfed in his honest +maw: a perfect silhouette, not to be destroyed by a sound, much less a +word of protest, even had we not been devoted to our gentle savage. But +one of us did surreptitiously attend to the spout before tea-time. And +once before my eyes his ready lips sucked the condensed-milk off our +tin-opener before plunging it into a tin of potted meat.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span> He had a +moustache of obsolete luxuriance, I remember with a shudder in this +connection; but the last time I saw him the moustache was not.</p> + +<p>'You see, sir,' explained Gabriel, regretfully, 'I had a cold, an' it +arl ...'</p> + +<p>I hope my muscles were still under due control. To know our Gabriel was +to perish rather than hurt his feelings; for he had the softest heart of +his own, and in Oxfordshire a wife and children to share its affections +with his ewes and lambs. 'An' I think a lot on 'em, too, sir,' said +Gabriel, when he showed me the full family group (self in uniform) done +on his last 'leaf.' Really a sweet simpleton, even when (as I was nearly +forgetting) he announced a brand-new Brigadier-General, who had honoured +me with a visit, as 'A gen'leman to see you, sir!'</p> + +<p>The only man of us who had the heart to tell the angelic Gabriel off was +his brother orderly, a respectable and patriotic Huish, if such a +combination can be conceived. Our Mr. Huish was the gentleman who always +said it wanted five minutes to the 'alf-hour when it wanted at least +ten, and too often sped the last of our lingering guests with insult +into outer darkness. Like his prototype he was a fiery little Londoner, +with a hacking cough and a husky voice ever rising to a shout in his +dealings with bovine Gabriel.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span> There was nothing of the beasts of the +field about our Huish; he was the terrier type, and more than true to it +in his fidelity to his temporary masters. At us he never snarled. His +special province was the boiler stove; he was generally blacked up to +the red rims of his eyes, like a seaside minstrel, and might have been +collecting money in his banjo as we saw him first of a dim morning. But +the instrument was only our frying-pan carried at arm's length, and our +approval of an unconscionable lot of rashers all the recognition he +required. 'W'en I 'as plenty I likes to give plenty,' was his +disreputable watchword in these matters. I am afraid he was not supposed +to cook for us at all.</p> + +<p>Huish was always bustling, or at least shambling with alacrity; whereas +Gabriel went about his lightest business with ponderous deliberation and +puzzled frown. Both were men of forty who had done the right thing early +in the war; they had nothing else in common except the inglorious job +which they owed to their respective infirmities. Huish, after many +rejections on the score of his, had yet contrived to land in khaki at Le +Havre on the last day of the first battle of Ypres; and though he had +never been nearer the fighting than he was with us, no one who knew his +story or himself could have grudged him his 1914 ribbon. His canine +delight, on learning that he was just<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span> entitled to it, was a thing to +see and to enter into.</p> + +<p>Let us hope Gabriel did; he was not very charitable about Huish behind +his back. It was Gabriel's boast that he had 'never been in the 'ands of +the police,' and his shame to inform us that Huish had. But the sun has +its spots, and the overwhelming superiority of Huish in munitions of +altercation was perhaps some excuse. Daily we caught his rising voice +and Gabriel's rumbling monotone; what it was about we never knew; but +Huish had all the nerves in the kitchen, and the shepherd must have been +a heavyweight on them at times. Their language, however, as we heard it +under mutual provocation, was either a considerable compliment to the +Y.M.C.A. or an exclusive credit to themselves. Gabriel was duly +archangelic in this regard; the other's only freedom a habit of calling +a thing an 'ell of a thing, and on occasion an Elizabethan +expressiveness, entirely inoffensive in his mouth.</p> + +<p>I wanted their photographs to take with me when I left, and had +prevailed upon them to get taken together at my expense. The result lies +before me as I write. Both are washed, brushed up, shaven and uniformed +out of daily knowledge. Huish stands keenly at attention, as smart as he +could make himself; it is not his fault that the sleeves of his new +tunic come down nearly to his finger-tips. On his right shoulder<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span> rests +the forgiving paw of Gabriel; a perceptibly sardonic accentuation of the +crow's-feet round his eyes may perhaps be attributed to this prompting +of the shepherd's heart or the photographer's <i>finesse</i>. But the pose +was a consummation; it was in the course of a preliminary transaction +that their excessive gratification obliged me to disclaim benevolence.</p> + +<p>'I shall want some of the copies for myself, you know,' I had warned +them both.</p> + +<p>'Quite right, sir!' cried Huish, heartily. 'It's like a man with a dog +an' a bitch—'e must 'ave 'is pick o' the pups!'</p> + +<p>Huish could take the counter at a pinch, but it was neither his business +nor his pleasure; and our gentle shepherd found French coinage as dark a +mystery as the British rifle. But we were very often assisted by an +unpaid volunteer, another great character in his way. We never knew his +name, and to me at least he was a new type. A Hull lad, eighteen years +old, private in a Labour Battalion employed near the town, he must have +had work enough by day and night to satisfy even one of his strength and +build, which were those of a little gorilla. And yet never a free +evening had this boy but he must spend it behind our counter, slaving +like the best of us for sheer love. But it was the work <i>he</i> loved; he +was a little shop-keeper born and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span> bred; his heart was in the till at +home; that was what brought him hot-foot to ours; and his passionate +delight in the mere routine of retail trade was the new thing to me in +human boyhood.</p> + +<p>At first I had wondered, the hobby seemed so unnatural: at first I even +kept an eye on him and on the till. Our leader had gone on leave before +the New Year; nobody seemed to know how far he had encouraged the boy, +or the origin of his anomalous footing in the hut; and we were taking a +cool thousand francs a day. But our young volunteer bore microscopic +scrutiny, but repaid it all. His was not only a labour of love +unashamed, but the joyous exercise of a gift, the triumphant display of +an inherent power. He beat the best of us behind a counter. It was his +element, not ours for all the will and skill in the world; he was a fish +among swimmers, a professional among amateurs, and the greatest +disciplinarian of us all. The home till may have been behind a bar in +the worst part of Hull, long practice in prompt refusal have given him +his short way with old soldiers opening negotiations out of their turn. +It was a good way, however, as cheery as it was firm. I can hear it now:</p> + +<p>'Naw, yer dawn't, Jock! Get away back an' coom oop in't queue like +oother people!'</p> + +<p>It was never resented. Though not even one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span> of us, but the youngest and +lowliest of themselves, that urchin by his own virtue exercised the +authority of a truculent N.C.O. with the whole military machine behind +him. I never heard a murmur against him, or witnessed the least +reluctance to obey his ruling. And with equal impunity he addressed all +alike as 'Jock.'</p> + +<p>But that, though one of his many and quaint idiosyncrasies, was perhaps +the covert compliment that took the edge off all the rest.</p> + +<p>And it brings me to the Jocks themselves, who deserve a place apart from +Y.M.C.A. orderlies and the best of boys in a Labour Battalion.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="THE_JOCKS" id="THE_JOCKS"></a>THE JOCKS</h3> + +<p>First a word about this generic term of 'Jock.' I use it advisedly, yet +not without a qualm. It is not for a civilian to drop into military +familiarities on the strength of a winter with the Expeditionary Force; +but this sobriquet has spread beyond all Army areas; like 'Tommy,' but +with a difference worth considering, it has passed into the language of +the man still left in the street. If not, it will; for you have only to +see him at his job in the war, doing it in a way and a spirit all his +own, and a Jock is a Jock to you ever after. As the cricketer said about +the yorker, what else can you call him?</p> + +<p>The first time the word slipped off my tongue, except behind their +backs, and I found I had called a superb young Seaforth Highlander +'Jock' to his noble face, I stood abashed before him. It sounded an +unpardonable liberty; apologise I must, and did.</p> + +<p>'It's a name I am proud to be called by,' said he quite simply. I never +committed the apology again.</p> + +<p>It was not as though one had called an English soldier 'Tommy' to his +face; the Jock's answer brought that home to me, and with something like +a shock—not because 'Jock' was evidently<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span> rather more than a term of +endearment, but because 'Tommy' suddenly seemed rather less. Each +carried its own nuance, its quite separate implication, and somehow the +later term took higher ground. I wondered how much later it was. Did it +begin in South Africa? There were no Jocks in <i>Barrack-Room Ballads</i>; +but there was 'Tommy,' the poem; and between those immortal lines I read +my explanation. It was from them I had learnt, long years before either +war, that it was actually possible for purblind peace-lovers to look +down upon the British soldier, under the name those lines dinned in. The +Jocks had not been christened in those dead days; that was their luck; +that was the difference. <i>Their</i> name belonged to the spacious times +which have given the fighting-man the place of honour in all true +hearts.</p> + +<p>Hard on Tommy! As for the Jocks, they have earned their good name if men +ever did; but I am to speak of them only as I saw them across a Y.M.C.A. +counter, demanding 'twust' without waste of syllables, or +'wrichting-pads,' or 'caun'les'; huge men with little voices, little men +with enormous muscles; men of whalebone with the quaint, stiff gait +engendered by the kilt, looking as though their upper halves were in +strait waistcoats, simply because the rest of them goes so free; figures +of droll imper<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span>turbability, of bold and handsome <i>sang-froid</i>, hunting +in couples among the ruins for any fun or trouble that might be going. +'As if the town belonged to them!' said one who loved the sight of them; +but I always thought the distinctive thing about the Jock was his air of +belonging to the town, ruined or otherwise, or to the bleak stretch of +war-eaten countryside where one had the good fortune to encounter him. +His matter-of-fact stolidity, his dry scorn of discomfort, the soul +above hardship looking out of his keen yet dreamy eyes, the tight smile +on his proud, uncomplaining lips—to meet all these in a trench was to +feel the trench transformed to some indestructible stone alley of the +Old Town. These men might have been born and bred in dug-outs, and +played all their lives in No-Man's Land, as town children play about a +street and revel in its dangers.</p> + +<p>I am proud to remember that they held the part of the line I was in at +Christmas. I saw them do everything but fight, and that I had no wish to +see as a spectator; but everybody knows how they set about it, the enemy +best of all. I have seen them, however, pretty soon after a raid: it was +like talking to a man who had just made a hundred at Lord's: our hut was +the Pavilion. I never saw them with their blood up, and to see them +merely under fire is to see them just<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span> themselves—not even abnormally +normal like less steady souls.</p> + +<p>Said a Black Watchman in the hearing of a friend of mine, as he mended a +parapet under heavy fire, in the worst days of '15: 'I wish they'd stop +their bloody sniping—<i>and let me get on with my work</i>!'</p> + +<p>The Jock all over! So a busy man swears at a wasp; the Jock at war is +just a busy man until something happens to put a stop to his business. +In the meantime he is not complaining; he is not asking you when this +dreadful war will finish; he is not telling you it can never be finished +by fighting. He went to the war as a bridegroom to his bride, and he has +the sense and virtue to make the best of his bargain till death or peace +doth them part. He may sigh for his release like other poor devils; his +pride will not let him sigh audibly; and as for 'getting out of it,' +divorce itself is not more alien to his stern spirit. It is true that he +has the business in his blood: not the Covenanters only but the +followers of Montrose and Claverhouse were Jocks before him. It is also +true that even he is not always at concert pitch; but his nerves do not +relax or snap in damp or cold, as may the nerves of a race less inured +through the centuries to hardship and the incidence of war. In bitter +fighting there is nothing to choose between the various<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span> branches of the +parent oak. The same sound sap runs through them all. But in bitter +weather on the Western Front give me a hutful of Jocks! If only Dr. +Johnson could have been with us in the Y.M.C.A. from last December to +the day of big things! It would have spoilt the standing joke of his +life.</p> + +<p>In the jaunty bonnet that cast no shadow on the bronzed face underneath, +with the warm tints of their tartans between neat tunic and +weather-beaten knees, their mere presence lit up the scene; and to +scrape acquaintance with one at random was nearly always to tap a +character worthy of the outer man. There are those who insist that the +discipline of the Army destroys individuality; it may seem so in the +transition stage of training, but the nearer the firing-line the less I +found it to be the case. I knew a Canadian missioner, turned Coldstream +Guardsman, who was very strong and picturesque upon the point.</p> + +<p>'Out here,' said he, 'a man goes naked; he can't hide what he really is; +he can't camouflage himself.'</p> + +<p>The Jock does not try. In the life school of the war he stands stripped, +but never poses; sometimes rugged and unrefined; often massive and +majestic in body and mind; always statuesque in his simplicity, always +the least self-conscious<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span> of Britons. Two of his strongest point are his +education and his religion, but he makes no parade of either, because +both are in his blood. His education is as old as the least humorous of +the Johnsonian jibes, as old as the Dominie and the taws: a union that +bred no 'brittle intellectuals,' but hard-headed men who have helped the +war as much by their steadfast outlook as by their zest and prowess in +the field. As for their religion, it is the still deeper strain, mingled +as of old with the fighting spirit of this noble race. It is most +obvious in the theological students, even the full-fledged ministers, to +be found in the ranks of the Jocks to-day; but I have seen it in rougher +types who know nothing of their own sleeping fires, who are puzzled +themselves by the blaze of joy they feel in battle and will speak of it +with characteristic frankness and simplicity.</p> + +<p>'The pleasure it gives ye! The pleasure it gives ye!' said one who had +been breathing wonders about their ding-dong, hand-to-hand +bomb-and-bayonet work. 'This warr,' he went on to declare, 'will do more +for Christianity than ever was done in the wurruld before.'</p> + +<p>This also he reiterated, and then added surprisingly:</p> + +<p>'Mine ye, I'm no' a Christian mysel'; but this warr will do more for +Christianity than ever was done in the wurruld before.'</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span>The personal disclaimer was repeated in its turn, in order to remove any +possible impression that the speaker was any better than he ought to be. +At least I thought that was the explanation; none was offered or indeed +invited, for there were other men waiting at the counter; and we never +met again, though he promised to come back next night. That boy meant +something, though he did not mean me to know how much. He came from +Glasgow, talked and laughed like Harry Lauder, and did both together all +the time. His conversation made one think. It would be worth recording +for its cheery, confidential plunge into deep waters; nobody but a Jock +would have taken the first header.</p> + +<p>Yet, out of France, the Scottish have a reputation for reserve! Is it +that in their thoroughgoing way they strip starker than any, where all +go as naked as my Canadian friend declared?</p> + +<p>They are said to be (God bless them!) our most ferocious fighters. I +should be sorry to argue the point with a patriotic Australian; but my +money is on the Jock as the most affectionate comrade. It is a touching +thing to hear any soldier on a friend who has fought and fallen at his +side; but the poetry that is in him makes it wonderful to hear a Jock; +you get the swirl of the pipes in his voice, the bubble of a Highland +burn in his brown eyes. So tender and yet so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span> terrible! So human and so +justly humorous in their grief!</p> + +<p>'He was the best wee Sergeant ever a mon had,' one of them said to me, +the night after a costly raid. We have no English word to compare with +that loving diminutive; 'little' comes no nearer it than 'Tommy' comes +near 'Jock.' One even doubts whether there are any 'wee' Sergeants who +do not themselves make use of the word.</p> + +<p>I could tell many a moving tale as it was told to me, in an accent that +I never adored before. On second thoughts it is the very thing I cannot +do and will not attempt. But here is a letter that has long been in my +possession; a part of it has been in print before, in a Harrow +publication, for it is all about a Harrow boy of great distinction; but +this is the whole letter. It makes without effort a number of the points +I have been labouring; it throws a golden light on the relations between +officers and men in a famous Highland Regiment; but its unique merit +lies in the fact that it was <i>not</i> written for the boy's people to read. +It is a Jock's letter to a Jock, about their officer:—</p> + +<blockquote><p style="text-align: right; padding-right: 5em; margin-bottom: 0em;">'<span class="smcap">France</span>,</p> + +<p style="text-align: right; padding-right: 2em; margin-top: 0em;">1. 9. 15.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Dear Tommy</span>,—</p> + +<p>Just a note to let you know that I am still alive and +kicking. Things are much the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span> same as when you left +here. We have had one good kick up since you were +wounded, that was on the 9th of May. We lost little +Lieut. ——, the best man that ever toed the line. You +know what like he was; the arguments you and him used +to have about politics. He always said you should have +been Prime Minister. None of the rest of them ever +mixed themselves with us the same as he done; he was a +credit to the regiment and to the father and mother +that reared him; and Tommy the boys that are left of +the platoon hopes that you will write to his father +and mother and let them know how his men loved him, +you can do it better than any of us. I enclose you a +cutting out of a paper about his death. He died at the +head of his platoon like the toff he was, and, Tommy, +I never was very religious but I think little —— is +in Heaven. He knew that it was a forlorn hope before +we were half way, but he never flinched. He was not +got for a week or two after the battle. Well, dear +chum, I got your parcel and am very thankful for it. I +will be getting a furlough in a week or two and I will +likely come and see you, not half. All the boys that +you knew are asking kindly for you. We are getting +thinned out by degrees. There are 11 of us left<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span> of +the platoon that you know—some dead, some down the +line. But Tommy we miss you for your arguments, and +the old fiddle was left at Parides, nobody to play it; +but still we are full of life. I expect you will read +some of these days of something big. I may tell you +the Boches will get hell for leather before they are +many days older. We have the men now and the material +and we won't forget to lay it on. Old Bendy is major +now, he gave us a lecture a while ago and he had a +word to say about you and wee Hughes and Martin, that +was the night that you went to locate the mortar and +came in with the machine gun. He says the three of you +were a credit to the regiment. I just wish you were +back to keep up the fun, but your wife and bairns will +like to keep you now. Well, Tommy, see and write to +——'s father and let him know how his men liked him, +it will perhaps soften the blow. No more now, but I +remain your ever loving chum and well wisher, <span class="smcap">Sandy</span>.</p> + +<p>'Good night and God bless you.</p> + +<p style="margin-top: 1.5em;">'P.S.—Lochie Rob, J. Small, Philip Clyne, Duncan +Morris, Headly, wee Mac, Ginger Wilson, Macrae and +Dean Swift are killed. There are just three of us left +in the section<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span> now, that is, Gordon, Black, and +Martin, the rest drafted.</p> + +<p style="text-align: right; padding-right: 5em;">'Write soon.'</p></blockquote> + +<p>Thomas himself is not quite so simple. He is not writing as man to man, +but to an intermediary who will show every word to 'little ——-'s' +family. He is not speaking just for himself, but for his old platoon, +and added to this responsibility is the manly duty of keeping up his own +repute, both as one who 'should have been Prime Minister' and as one who +'can do it better than any of us.' Thomas is somewhere or other in +hospital, but for all his hurts there are passages of his that come from +squared elbows and a very sturdy pen:</p> + +<blockquote><p>'He was young so far as years were concerned, but he +was old in wisdom. He never asked one of us to do that +which he would not do himself. He shared our hardships +and our joys. He was in fact one of ourselves as far +as comradeship and brotherly love was concerned. We +never knew who he was till we saw his death in the +Press, but this we did know, that he was Lieut. ——-, +a gentleman and a soldier every inch, <i>and mind you +the average Tommy is not too long in getting the size +of his officer</i>, and it is not every day that one like +——- joins the Army....</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span>He was liked by his fellow-officers, but he was loved, +honoured and respected by his men, and you know, Sir, +that <i>I am not guilty of paying tributes to anyone +where they are not deserved</i>....'</p></blockquote> + +<p>I love Thomas for the two italicised asides. It was not he who +underlined them; but they declare his politics as unmistakably as +Sandy's bit about those arguments with their officer. For 'little ——' +was the son of one of Scotland's noblest and most ancient houses; but +Thomas is careful to explain that they never knew that until the papers +told them, and we have internal evidence that Sandy never gave it a +thought. He lays no stress on the fact that 'none of the rest of them +ever mixed themselves with us the same as he done': the gem of both +tributes, when you come to think of it.</p> + +<p>I think of it the more because I knew this young Harrovian a little in +his brilliant boyhood (Head of the School and Captain of the Football +Eleven), but chiefly because I happen to have seen his grave. It is on +the outskirts of a village that was still pretty and wooded in early +'17, though the church was in a bad way even then. Now there can be +little left; but I hope against hope that some of the wooden crosses +which so impressed me are still intact. For there as ever among his men, +I think even alongside 'wee<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span> Mac' and the others named in that pathetic +postscript, lies 'little ——', truly 'mixing himself with them' to the +last.</p> + +<p>In the same row, under mound and cross as neat as any, lay 'an unknown +German soldier'; and for his sake, perhaps, if all have not been blown +to the four winds, the present occupiers<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> will do what can be done to +protect and preserve the resting-place of 'little ——' and his Jocks.</p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> July, 1918.</p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="GUNNERS" id="GUNNERS"></a>GUNNERS</h3> + +<p>Next to the Jocks, I used to find the Gunners the cheeriest souls about +a hut. Nor do I believe that mine was a chance experience; for the +constant privilege of inflicting damage on the Hun must be, despite a +very full share of his counter-attentions, a perpetual source of +satisfaction. A Gunner is oftener up and doing, far seldomer merely +suffering, than any other being under arms. The Infantry have so much to +grin and bear, so very much that would be unbearable without a grin, +that it is no wonder if the heroic symbol of their agony be less in +evidence upon ordinary occasions. Cheeriness with them has its own awful +connotation: they are almost automatically at their best when things are +at their worst; but the gunner is always enjoying the joke of making +things unpleasant for the other side. He is the bowler who is nearly +certain of a good match.</p> + +<p>He used to turn up at our hut at all hours, sometimes in a Balaclava +helmet that reminded one of other winter sports, often with his +extremities frozen by long hours in the saddle or on his limber, but +never wearied by much marching and never in any but the best of +spirits.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span> He was always an interesting man, who knew the Line as a +strolling player knows the Road, but neither knew nor cared where he was +to give the next performance. I associate him with a ruddy visage and a +hearty manner that brought a breeze in from the outer world, as a good +stage sailor brings one from the wings.</p> + +<p>One great point about the Gunners is that you can see them at their job. +I had seen them at it on a former brief visit to the front, and even had +a foretaste of their quality of humour, which is by no means so heavy as +a civilian wag might apprehend. The scene was the tight-rope road +between Albert and Bapaume, then stretched across a chasm of +inconceivable devastation, and only three-parts in our hands; in fact we +were industriously shelling Bapaume and its environs when a car from the +Visitors' Château dumped two of us, attended by a red-tabbed chaperon, +in the very middle of our guns.</p> + +<p>Not even in later days do I remember such a row as they were making. +Shells are as bad, but I imagine one does not hear a great many quite so +loud and live to write about it. Drum-fire must be worse at both ends; +but I have heard only distant drum-fire, and on the spot it must have +this advantage, that its continuity precludes surprise. But a series of +shattering surprises was the essence of our experience before<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span> Bapaume. +The guns were all over the place, and fiendishly camouflaged. I was +prepared for all sorts of cunning and picturesque screens and +emplacements, and indeed had looked for them. I was not prepared for +absolutely invisible cannon of enormous calibre that seemed to loose off +over our shoulders or through our legs the moment our backs were turned.</p> + +<p>If you happened to be looking round you were all right. You saw the +flash, and your eye forewarned your ear in the fraction of a second +before the bang, besides reassuring you as to the actual distance +between you and the blazing gun; but whenever possible it took a mean +advantage, and had me ducking as though somebody had shouted 'Heads!' I +say 'me,' not before it was time; for I can only speak with honesty for +myself. By flattering chance I was pretending to enjoy this experience +in good company indeed; but the great man might have been tramping his +own moor, and doing the shooting himself, for all the times I saw his +eyelids flicker or his massive shoulders wince. He made no more of a +howitzer that jovially thundered and lightened in our path, over our +very heads, than of the brace of sixty-pounders whose peculiarly +ear-destroying duet 'scratched the brain's coat of curd' as we stood +only too close behind them. They might have been a brace of Irish +Members<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span> for all their intimidatory effect on my illustrious companion.</p> + +<p>But the fun came when we adjourned to the Battery Commander's dug-out, +and somebody suggested that the Forward Observing Officer would feel +deeply honoured by a word on the telephone from so high an Officer of +State. All urbanity, the O.S. took down the receiver, and was heard +introducing himself to the F.O.O. by his official designation, as though +high office alone could excuse such a liberty. The receiver cackled like +a young machine-gun, and the O.S. beamed dryly on the O.C.</p> + +<p>'He wants to know who the devil I <i>really</i> am!' he reported with due +zest.</p> + +<p>Hastily the spectacled young Major vouched for the other speaker. The +receiver changed hands once more. The Forward Observing Officer was +evidently as good as his style and title.</p> + +<p>'He says—"in that case"—I'd better look him up!' twinkled the O.S. 'Is +there time? He says he's quite close to the sugar factory.'</p> + +<p>The sugar factory was unmistakable, not as a flagrant sugar factory but +as the only fragment of a building left standing within the sky-line. It +proved a snare. Our F.O.O. was unknown there; if he had ever been at the +ex-factory, he had kept himself to himself and gone without<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span> leaving an +address; and though we sought him high and low among the shell-holes, +under the belching muzzles of our guns, it was not intended by +Providence (nor yet peradventure by himself) that we should track that +light artillery comedian to his place of concealment.</p> + +<p>Still, one can get at a gunner (in the above sense only) quicker than at +any other class of acquaintance in the Line.</p> + +<p>It is, after all, a very small war in the same sense as it is said to be +a small world; and in our ruined town I was always running into some +soldier whom I had known of old in leather or prunella. I have had the +pleasure of serving an old servant as an impressive N.C.O., of welcoming +others of all ranks on both sides of the counter. Thus it was that one +day I had a car lent me to go pretty well where I liked, subject to the +approval of a young Staff Officer, my escort. I thought of a Gunner +friend hidden away somewhere in those parts. He was an Old Boy of my old +school. So, as it happened, was the High Commander to whom the car +belonged; so, by an extraordinary chance, was the young Staff Officer. +The oldest of them, of course, long years after my time; but an All +Uppingham Day for me, if ever I had one! I only wish we could have +claimed the hero of the day as well.</p> + +<p>The car took us to within a couple of miles of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span> my friend, who was not +above another mile from No-Man's Land. It was a fairly lively sector at +the best of times, which was about the time I was there. The enemy had +shown unseasonable activity only the night before, and we met some of +the casualties coming down a light railway, up which we walked the last +part of the way. Two or three khaki figures pushing a truck laden with a +third figure—supine, blanketed, and very still: that was the picture we +passed several times in the thin February sunlight. One man looked as +dead as the livid landscape; one had a bloody head and a smile that +stuck; one was walking, supported by a Red Cross man, coughing weakly as +he went. Round about our destination were a number of shell-sockets, +very sharp and clean, all made in the night.</p> + +<p>It was quite the deepest dug-out I was ever in, but I was not sorry when +I had found my eyes in the twilight of its single candle. Warm, down +there; a petrol engine throbbing incomprehensibly behind a curtain at +the foot of the flight; a ventilating shaft at the inner end; hardly any +more room than in an Uppingham study. How we talked about the old place, +three school generations of us, sitting two on a bed until I broke down +the Major's! The Major might have been bored before that—he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span> who alone +had not been there. But even my ponderous performance did not disturb a +serene forbearance, a show of more than courteous interest, which +encouraged us to persist in that interminable gossip about masters (with +imitations!) so maddening to the uninitiated. At length the petrol +engine stopped; I doubt if we did, though steak and onions now arrived. +May I never savour their crude smell again without remembering that time +and place; the oftener the better, if there be those present who do not +know about the Major.</p> + +<p>His second-in-command, my Uppingham friend, told me as he saw us along +the light railway on our way back. In 1914 the Major had been a +Nonconformist Minister. Never mind the Denomination, or the part of +Great Britain: because the Call sounded faint there, and his flock were +slow to answer, the shepherd showed the way, himself enlisting in the +ranks: because he was what he was, and came whence he came, here and +thus had I found him in 1918, commanding a battery on the Somme, at the +age—but that would be a tale out of school. A legion might be made up +of the men whose real ages are nobody's business till the war is over; +then they might be formed into a real Old Guard of Honour, and +<i>splendidissime mendax</i> might be their motto.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span>I do not say the Major would qualify. I have forgotten exactly what it +was I heard upon the point. But I am not going to forget something that +reached me later from another source altogether, namely the lips of a +sometime N.C.O. of the Battery.</p> + +<p>'There was not,' he asserted, 'better discipline in any battery in +France. But not a man of us ever heard the Major swear.'</p> + +<p>It was a great friend of mine that I had gone forth to see: a cricketer +whose only sin was the century that kept him out of the pavilion: a man +without an enemy but the one he turned out to fight at forty. Yet the +man I am gladdest to have seen that day on the Somme is not my friend, +but my friend's friend and Major.... And to think that he opened his +kindly fire upon me by saying absurd things about the only book of mine +which has very many friends; and that I let him, God forgive me, instead +of bowing down before the gorgeous man!</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="THE_GUARDS" id="THE_GUARDS"></a>THE GUARDS</h3> + +<p>The Jocks started me thinking in units, the Gunners set me off on the +chance meetings of this little war, and between them they have taken me +rather far afield from my Noah's Ark in the mud. But I am not going back +just yet, though the ground is getting dangerous. I am only too well +aware of that. It is presumptuous to praise the living; and I for one +would rather stab a man in the back than pat him on it; but may I humbly +hope that I do neither in these notes? The bristling risks shall not +deter me from speaking of marvellous men as I found them, nor yet from +expressing as best I may the homage they inspired. I can only leave out +their names, and the names of the places where we met, and trust that my +precautions are not themselves taken in vain. But there is no veiling +whole units, or at least no avoiding some little rift within the veil. +And when the unit is the Guards—but even the Guards were not all in one +place last winter.</p> + +<p>Enough that at one time there were Guardsmen to be seen about the +purlieus of that 'battered caravanserai' which the war found an antique +city of sedate distinction, and is like to leave yet another scrap-heap. +The Guards were in the picture there,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span> if not so much so as the Jocks; +for in kilt and bonnet the Jocks on active service are more like Jocks +than the Guards are like Guardsmen; nevertheless, and wherever they +wander, the Guards are quite platitudinously unlike any other troops on +earth.</p> + +<p>Memorable was the night they first swarmed into my first hut. +'Debouched,' I daresay, would be the more becoming word; but at any rate +they duly marched upon the counter, in close order at that, and (as the +correspondents have it) 'as though they had been on parade.' Few of them +had anything less than a five-franc note; all required change; soon +there was not a coin in the till. I wish the patronesses of Grand +Clearance Sales could have seen how the Guards behaved that night. Not +one of them showed impatience; not one of them was inconsiderate, much +less impolite; the sanctity of the queue could not have been more +scrupulously observed had our Labour boy been there to see to nothing +else. He was not there, and I sighed for him when there was time to +sigh; for it was easily the hardest night's work I had in France. But +the Guards did their best to help us; they were always buying more than +they wanted, 'to make it even money'; continually prepared to present +the Y.M.C.A. with the change we could not give them. Never was a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span> body +of men in better case—calmer, more immaculate, better-set-up, more +dignified and splendid to behold. They might have walked across from +Wellington Barracks; they were actually fresh from what I have heard +them call 'the Cambrai do.'</p> + +<p>There was a bitterly cold night a little later on; it was also later in +the night. My young chief was already a breathing pillar of blankets. I +was still cowering over a reddish stove, thinking of the old hot-water +bottle which was even then preparing a place for my swaddled feet: from +outer darkness came the peculiar crunch of heavy boots—many pairs of +them—rhythmically planting themselves in many inches of frozen snow. I +went out and interviewed a Guards' Corporal with eighteen eager, silent +file behind him, all off a leave train and shelterless for the night, +unless we took them in. I pointed out that we had no accommodation +except benches and trestle-tables, and the bare boards of the hut, where +the stove had long been black and the clean mugs were freezing to their +shelf.</p> + +<p>'We shall be very satisfied,' replied the Corporal, 'to have a roof over +us.'</p> + +<p>I can hear him now: the precise note of his appreciation, candid yet not +oppressive: the dignified, unembittered tone of a man too proud to make +much of a minor misfortune of war.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span> Yet for fighting-men just back from +Christmas leave, howsoever it may have come about, what a welcome! I +never felt a greater brute than lying warm in my bed, within a yard of +the stove that still blushed for me, and listening to those silent men +taking off their accoutrements with as little noise as possible, +preparing for a miserable night without a murmur. Later in the winter, +it was said that men were coming back from leave disgruntled and +depressed. My answer was this story of the Corporal and the eighteen +freezing file. But they were Guardsmen nearly all.</p> + +<p>Not the least interesting of individual Guardsmen was one who across our +counter nicely and politely declared himself an anarchist. It was the +slack hour towards closing-time, before the National Anthem at the +cinema prepared us for the final influx, and I am glad I happened to be +free to have that chat. It was most instructive. My Guardsman, who was +accompanied by the inevitable Achates, was not a temporary soldier; both +were fine, seasoned men of twelve or thirteen years' service, who had +been through all the war, with such breaks as their tale of wounds had +necessitated. The anarchist did all the talking, beginning (most +attractively to me) about cricket. He was a keen watcher of the game, an +old habitué of Burton Court and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span> intense admirer of certain +distinguished performers for the Household Brigade. 'A great man!' was +his concise encomium for more than one. How the anarchy came in I have +forgotten. It was decked in dark sayings of a rather homely cut, +concerning the real war to follow present preliminaries; but I thought +the real warrior was himself rather in the dark as to what it was all to +be about. At any rate he failed to enlighten me, as perhaps I failed to +enlighten him on the common acceptation of the term 'anarchy.' Reassure +me he did, however, by several parenthetical observations, which seemed +to fall from the inveterate soldier rather than the <i>soi-disant</i> +revolutionary.</p> + +<p>'But of course we shall see this war through first,' he kept +interrupting himself to impress on me. 'Nothing will be done till we +have beaten Germany.'</p> + +<p>On balance I was no wiser about the anarchist point of view, but all the +richer for this peep into a Guardsman's mind. It was like a good +sanitary cubicle filled with second-hand gimcrackery, but still the same +good cubicle, still in essentials exactly like a few thousand more. The +meretricious jumble was kept within rigid bounds of discipline and good +manners, and not as a temporary measure either; for I was solemnly +assured that the 'real war,' when it came, would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span> be a bloodless one. +Let us hope other incendiaries will adopt my friend's somewhat difficult +ideal of an ordered anarchy! As for his manners, I can only say I have +heard views with which I was in full personal agreement made more +offensive by a dogmatic advocate than were these monstrous but quite +amiable nebulosities. If anarchy is to come, I know which anarchist I +want to 'ride in the whirlwind and direct the storm'; he will spare +Burton Court, I do believe; and even catch himself saluting, with true +Guards' <i>élan</i>, the 'great men' who are still permitted to hit out of +it.</p> + +<p>Tradition in the Guards, you conjecture, means more than machine-guns, +more than artillery support; it is half the battle they are always +pulling out of the fire. It may be other things as well. I heard a +delightful story about one Battalion—but I heard it from a +fellow-tradesmen whose business it is (or was, before the war) to say +more than his prayers. The libel, for it is too good to be true, was +that one of the senior Battalions, having given a dinner in some Flemish +town early in the war, did a certain amount of inadvertent damage to +municipal property during the subsequent proceedings. One in authority +wrote to apologise to the <i>maire</i>, enclosing the wherewithal for +reparation: whereupon the <i>maire</i> presented himself in high glee,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span> +brandishing an equally handsome apology for the same thing done in the +same place by the same Regiment in—1711!</p> + +<p>One royal night I had myself as the guest of a Company in another of +their Battalions. The camp was about half-way between our hut and the +front line, near the road and in mud enough to make me feel at home. But +whereas we weltered in a town-locked pool, this was in the open sea; not +a tree or a chink of masonry in sight; just a herd of 'elephants' or +Nissen huts, linked up by a network of duck-boards like ladders floating +in the mud. Mud! It was more like clotted cocoa to a mind debauched by +such tipple, and the great split tubes of huts like a small armada +turned turtle in the filth.</p> + +<p>The outer tube I think was steel—duly corrugated—but wooden inner +tubes made the mess-hut and the one I shared with my host voluptuously +snug and weather-proof. It was the wildest and wettest night of all the +winter, but not a drop or a draught came in anywhere, and I am afraid I +thought with selfish satisfaction of the many perforations in our own +thin-skinned hut. An open fire was another treat to me; and I remember +being much intrigued by a buttery-hatch in the background. It reminded +me of the third act of <i>The Admirable Crichton</i>.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span>There were only four of us at dinner, or five including a parrot who +hopped about saying things I have forgotten. All the other three were +temporary Guardsmen; that I knew; but to me they seemed the lineal +descendants of the bear-skinned and whiskered heroes in old volumes of +<i>Punch</i>. I suppose they were colder in their Balaclava huts, but I +warrant the other atmosphere was much the same. We should not have had +Wagner on a gramophone before Sebastopol; but they would have given me +Veuve Cliquot, or whatever the very best may have been in those days; +and if I had committed the solecism of asking for more bread, having +consumed my statutory ration, the mess-waiter of 1855 would have put me +right in the same solicitous undertone that spared my blushes in 1918. +The perfect blend of luxury and discipline would have been as +captivating then as now and ever, and the kindness of my hosts a thing +to write about in fear and trembling, no matter how gratefully.</p> + +<p>But there would have been no duck-boards to follow through wind and rain +to my host's warm hut, and I should not be looking back upon as snug a +winter's night as one could wish to spend. How we lay talking while the +storm frittered its fury upon the elephant's tough hide! Once more it +was talk of schooldays, but not of mine;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span> it was all about Eton this +time, and nearly all about a boy there who had been most dear to us +both. He was now out here in his grave; but which of them was not? Of +the group that I knew best before the war, only he whom I was with +to-night! I lay awake listening to his even breathing, and prayed that +he at least might survive the holocaust yet to come.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span></p><hr class="wide" /> + +<h2 class="newchapter"><a name="A_BOYS_GRAVE" id="A_BOYS_GRAVE"></a>A BOY'S GRAVE</h2> + +<p class="date">(<i>February, 1918</i>)</p> + + +<p>Somewhere in Flanders there was a ruined <i>estaminet</i>, with an early +trench running round it, that I longed to see for the sake of a grave in +a farm-yard not far behind. The grave itself was known to be +obliterated. Though dug very deep by men who loved the boy they laid +there at dead of night, and though the Sergeant (who loved him most) +could say what a strong cross they had placed over it, the grave was so +situated, and the whole position so continuously under fire, that +official registration was never possible, nor any further reassurance to +be had. The boy's Division went out of the Line, and at length went back +into another sector; but more than one officer who knew his people, and +one brave friend who had only heard of them, searched the spot without +avail. For two years it was so near the enemy and so heavily shelled +that the fear became a moral certainty that everything had been swept +away; then the boy's father chanced to meet his Army Com<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span>mander; and +that great human soldier ordered the investigation that bore out every +dread. Nothing remained to mark the grave. And yet I longed to see the +place; the tide of battle had at last receded; at least I might see what +was left of the trench where the boy had fallen, and have something to +tell his mother on my return. So I had set my heart, originally, on +working for the Y.M.C.A. in Flanders. Had I been given my way about +that, very little that I have now to tell could possibly have happened.</p> + +<p>It was ordained, however, that I should go to France, and a long way +down the Line, an impossible journey from my secret goal. To be honest, +I had a voice in this myself, and even readily acquiesced in the +arrangement; for there were sound reasons for taking the first opening +that offered; and on reflection I saw myself the unsoundness of my first +position. After all, I was not going out for secret or for private ends; +and even in Flanders, what means or what authority should I have had for +hunting among graves, marked or unmarked? What guide could I have hoped +to get to show me all I wished to see, and what could I have seen or +done without a guide? Already the new plan spelt a providential +exclusion from a sphere of futile mortification and divided desires: to +France I went, and with an easy mind. And in France the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span> first people I +saw, in my first hut, as customers across the counter, were the boy's +old Division!</p> + +<p>I suppose the odds against that must have been fairly long. Of all the +Divisions in the B.E.F. only three were plying between our town and the +Line; and of those three that Division was one. It was, moreover, the +one that we saw most of in the Ark. Theirs were the pink barracks just +outside our gates; it was their cinema that lay across our bows in the +mud; their motley Battalions that could make the hut a Babel of all the +dialects in Great Britain. The boy's Brigade was up the Line when I +arrived; in a few days it came down, and under the familiar regimental +cap-badge how eagerly I sought the faces that looked old enough to have +three years' service! They are the veterans of this war; but few, it +seemed, were left. Did I discover one, he had not been in B Company. I +grew ashamed of questioning. It was not before the Brigade had been up +the Line for another sixteen days, and come back again, that a little +hard-bitten man aroused fresh hopes and passed all tests. He had not +only been in the Regiment at the time, but in B Company; not only in B +Company, but in the boy's Platoon; there when he fell; one of the burial +party!</p> + +<p>We had a long talk in the inner room. It appeared there were two other +survivors of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span> old Platoon; the Sergeant, as I knew to my sorrow, had +died Company Sergeant-Major at Passchendaele. Of the other two, one in +particular, now a bandsman but in 1915 a stretcher-bearer, could tell me +everything: he should come and see me himself. He never did come, and I +saw no more of the little man who promised to send him. Once again they +all went up the Line, and by the time that tour was over I had deserted +the hut near their barracks. The little man called there and left a +message; it was to say he was going on leave for three weeks, and the +Battalion were going away to rest. When they all got back, he would +bring the bandsman to see me without fail.</p> + +<p>It is a long story; but then Coincidence (or what we will) was +stretching a very long arm. Coincidence (at least in the literal sense) +was indeed stretching out both arms: one of them was busy all this time +at distant Ypres. An unknown friend there, remotely connected with the +boy's people, thought he had discovered the boy's grave. He had written +home to say so; the news was sent out to me, and we got into +correspondence. He had searched the shell-blasted farm-yard where the +burial was known to have taken place, and he had discovered—evidence. +Some of this evidence he eventually sent me: a cheap French or Flemish +watch,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span> red with the rust and mould of a soldier's grave: just the watch +that a boy would buy at the nearest town for his immediate needs. Now, +at the time of his death, this boy's watch was being mended in London; +therefore, the one now in my hands was good evidence as far as it went. +A boot-strap had been found as well, and something else that tallied +terribly; on the strength of all this testimony, and of an instinctive +certainty in the mind of our unknown friend, a new cross already marked +the site of these discoveries. He wanted me to see the place for myself, +and as soon as possible, in case the enemy should make his expected +thrust in that quarter. Nor could I have gone too soon for my own +satisfaction. Grave or no grave (for I could not quite share his +sanguine conviction), I longed to grasp the hand of a man who had done +so much for people he had never met: and to see all there was to see +with my own eyes.</p> + +<p>But it is not so easy to travel sixty miles up or down the Line. It is a +question of permits, which take some getting, and of facilities which +very properly do not exist. Military railways are not for the transport +of civilian camp-followers on private business; moreover, they do go +slow when there is no military occasion for much speed; and I had my +work, when all was said. But my luck (if you like) was in again. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span> +first old friend that I had met in France was a friend in a higher place +than I may say. Already he had shown himself my friend indeed; now, in +my need—— But here the coincidences multiply, and must be kept +distinct.</p> + +<p>On the very morning I heard from Ypres—with the watch and the +invitation—I was due to visit this old friend in another part +altogether. He sent his car for me, the splendid man. I showed him my +letter from Ypres.</p> + +<p>'You will have to go,' he said.</p> + +<p>'But how?'</p> + +<p>'In my car.'</p> + +<p>'Sixty miles!'</p> + +<p>(It was much more from where he was.)</p> + +<p>'You can have it for two days.'</p> + +<p>I could not thank him; nor can I here. How can a man speak for the +mother of an only child, whose grave he was to see with her eyes as well +as with his own, so that one day he might tell her all? Without a car, +in fine, the thing was impossible. There are no thanks for actions such +as this: none that words do not belittle. A day was fixed, ten days +ahead; this gave me time to write to the boy's mother, and gave her time +to send direct to Ypres all the bulbs and plants that she could get, to +make her child's bed as gay that spring as he himself had been all the +days they were together.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span>And yet—and yet—<i>was</i> it his grave that had been found? <i>Was</i> the +evidence as good as it seemed? I was going all the way to Ypres on the +strength of that local evidence only. If I could but have taken one or +other of those two men who were there when it happened in 1915! But one +of them was away on leave, his three weeks not nearly up; the other, the +bandsman who knew most of all, might or might not be with the Battalion; +but the Battalion itself was still away. I found that out for certain on +the morning of the day before I was to start. They were still resting +many kilometres back. I had no means of getting to them, even if I had +had the right sort of desire; but the fact was that everything had come +about so beautifully without one move of mine, that I was quite +consciously content to drift in the current of an unfathomable +influence.</p> + +<p>That afternoon there came to my hut, for no particular reason that he +ever told me, a man I had not met before. He was the Senior Chaplain of +the boy's Division. We made friends, by what steps I cannot remember, +but I must have told him where I was going next day. He was interested. +I told him the whole thing. He said: 'But surely there must be somebody +in the Battalion that you could take with you, to identify the place?' I +told him there was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span> such a man, a bandsman, but the Battalion was away +resting and I was not sure but that the man himself was on leave. Said +the Chaplain: 'I can find out. I know where they are. I can get them on +the telephone. If you don't hear from me again, go round their way in +the morning when you get the car. It's ten kilometres in the wrong +direction, but it may be worth your while.'</p> + +<p>Worth my while! I did not hear from him again; not a word all that +anxious evening to spoil the prospect he had opened up; and in the +morning came the car, a powerful limousine, mine for the next two days! +My pass from the A.P.M. was for Ypres only, but I did not think of that. +In less than an hour we had found those rest-billets among ploughed +fields at peace in the spring sunshine; and at the right regimental +headquarters, a young Corporal ready waiting in his field overcoat. It +<i>was</i> the bandsman: he who had been nearest to the boy at the very last, +to whose special care his dear body had been committed. The living man +who had most to tell me!</p> + +<p>And the first thing he told me showed what a mercy it was to have him +with me; but at the moment it came as a shock. I had shown him the +watch; he had shaken his head. No watch had been buried with the boy; of +that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span> the Corporal was unshakably certain; and he was the man to know, +the man whose duty it had been to make sure at the time. Away went our +strongest piece of evidence! Then I told him about the boot-strap, +always a doubtful item in my own mind; and the Corporal swept it aside +at once. The boy had not worn boots with straps; he had worn ordinary +laced boots and puttees; exactly as I had been thinking at the back of +my mind. He had not been out many weeks, and I knew every noble inch of +him that went away. So, after all, it was not his grave that had been +found! That would have been a grievous blow but for the transcending +thought—it was not his grave that had been disturbed! And we might +never have known but for this young soldier at my side who was saying +quite confidently that he could show me where the grave really was! One +of—at most—three living men who could!</p> + +<p>Who had brought him to my side—at the last moment—the very man I +wanted—the one man needful?</p> + +<p>To be sure, the Senior Chaplain of their Division; but why should the +Senior Chaplain, a man I never saw before, have come to my hut in the +nick of time to do me this service, so definitely desired? Why should I +myself have come to the very place in France where the Division was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span> +waiting for me—the one place where I had also an old friend with a car +to lend me when the time came? Why had I not gone to Belgium (to be near +the boy) as I at first intended? And why, at that very time, should a +complete stranger have been making entirely independent efforts to find +the grave in Belgium that I yearned to see?</p> + +<p>'Chance' is no answer, unless the word be held to cover an organic +tissue of chances, each in turn closely related to some other chance, +all component parts of a chance whole! And what sensation novelist would +build a plot on such foundations and hope to make his tale convincing? +Not I, at my worst; and there were more of these chances still to come, +albeit none that mattered as did those already recounted.</p> + +<p>Nor is there very much left to tell that bears telling here. In Ypres I +did not find my great unknown friend; he had warned me, when it was too +late to alter plans, that he might be called home on a private matter; +and this had happened. But he had told me I should find his 'trusty +Sergeant,' who had taken part in the investigations, ready to help me in +every way; and so, indeed, I did. The man was, among other things, an +enthusiastic amateur gardener; he had known exactly what to do with the +bulbs and plants, which he had unpacked on their arrival and was keeping +nice and moist<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span> for next morning. But this was not the first thing we +had to talk about. The first thing was to impress upon the Sergeant the +importance of not letting my witness know that a new cross had been put +up, and so to ensure absolutely independent identification of the spot. +He gave me his promise, and I know he kept it.</p> + +<p>Next morning, under a leaden February sky, the three of us drove north +in the car, accompanied by a second Sergeant with digging tools, in case +the bandsman located the grave elsewhere and I was bent upon some proof. +At the time I did not know why he was with us; later, the quiet little +fact above spoke volumes for the good faith of the party. It was +completed by a young Catholic Padre from Ypres, so that the only office +which the boy had lacked at the hands of his dear men might now be +fulfilled.</p> + +<p>I am following the course we took upon a military map given to the boy's +father by one of the many officers who had befriended him in his +trouble; and I had been prepared for the thickening cluster of +shell-holes further on by more than one aeroplane photograph sent from +Army Headquarters. O that all whom this war has robbed of their hearts' +delight could know, as this father knows, how the huge heart of the Army +is with them in their sorrow! There was the Army Commander, who had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span> +done what he could for a man he met but once by chance; it was not much +that even he could do, but how more than readily it had been done! And +now here in the car, itself a tangible sign of infinite compassion, were +these N.C.O.'s and this young priest, with their grave faces and their +kind eyes! One's heart went out to them. It seemed all wrong to be +taking men, who any day might be in theirs, to see a soldier's grave in +cold blood. So we fell to discussing the sky, the mud, and such +landmarks as remained, quite simply and naturally, as the boy himself +would have wished.</p> + +<p>'Plains that the moonlight turns to sea,' the boy had quoted in +describing the plain we were crossing now; but it had become a broken +plain since his time; covered with elephant huts and pill-boxes, scored +by light railways; the roads on which no man might live in those days, +themselves alive with traffic in these, with lorries and men and all the +abundant activities of a host behind a host. The car stopped one or two +hundred yards from our destination, towards which we threaded our way +over duck-boards, through and past these mushroom habitations, till we +came to the green open space which was all that remained of the farm. +Not a stone or a brick to be seen; not even a heap of bricks, or a +charred beam, or the empty socket of pillar or<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span> post; only the two +gate-posts themselves, looking like the stumps of trees. But what better +than a gateway to give a man his bearings? It led the bandsman straight +to a regular file of such stumps, which really had been trees: and in +his path stood a white cross, new and sturdy, at which I had been +looking all the time: at which he stopped without looking twice, still +studying the ground and the bits of landmarks that survived. It was the +place.</p> + +<p>It was the boy's grave; and the discoverer's—nay, the +diviner's—instinct stood vindicated as wonderfully as his evidence had +been discredited. Almost adjoining it was a great shell-hole full of +water; but it was not our grave that the shell had rifled. Our grave had +been dug too deep. It was as though the boy himself had said: 'It's my +grave all right—but I don't want you to go thinking those were my +things! All that was me or mine is just as they left it.'</p> + +<p>So we took off our helmets and stood listening to the young priest +reading the last office, in Latin first and then in English. And many of +the beautiful sentences were punctuated by loud reports, which I took +for our guns if I thought of them at all; for as yet I had heard hardly +anything else down south; but after the service I saw little black +balloons appearing by<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span> magic in mid-air, expanding into dingy cloudlets, +and presently dissolving shred by shred. It was enemy shrapnel all the +time.</p> + +<p>Then the two Sergeants prepared the ground with gentle skill; and we +knelt and put in the narcissus bulbs, the primroses and pinks, the phlox +and the saxifrage, that the boy's mother had sent him; and a baby +rose-tree from an old friend who loved him, in the corner of England +that he loved best; it must be climbing up his cross, if it has lived to +climb at all.</p> + +<p>The clouds had broken before the service ended with the sprinkling of +Holy Water; and now between the shell-bursts, while we were yet busy +planting, came strains of distant music, as thin and faint and valiant +as the February sunshine. It was one of our British bands, perhaps at +practice in some safe fold of the famous battle-field, more likely +assisting at some ceremonial further away than I imagined; for they +seemed to be playing very beautifully; and when they finished with 'Auld +Lang Syne' they could not have hung more pathetically upon the closing +bars if they had been playing at our graveside, for the boy who always +loved a band.</p> + +<p>Then there was his trench to see; but it was full of water where it had +not fallen in, and was not like a trench any more. And the <i>estaminet</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span> +at the cross-roads, that cruelly warm corner whence he passed into +peace, it too had vanished from the earth. But the gentle slope that had +been No-Man's Land was much as he must have seen it in anxious summer +dawns, and under the stars that twinkled on so many of his breathless +adventures in the early bombing days, when he pelted Germans in their +own trench with his own hand, and thought it all 'a jaunt'; thought it +'just like throwing in from cover'; declared it 'as safe as going up to +a man's front door-bell—pulling it—and running off again!'</p> + +<p>Well, this was where he had played those safe games; and true enough, it +was not by them he met his death, but standing-to down there under +shell-fire, on a summer's morning after his own heart, with eyes like +the summer sky turned towards the same line of trees my eyes were +beholding now, his last thought for his men. I could almost hear his +eager question:</p> + +<p>'Is everybody all right?'</p> + +<p>They were the boy's last words.</p> + +<p>Did I enter into the spirit of all that last chapter of his dear life +the better for being on the scene, and watching shrapnel burst over it +even as he had watched it a thousand times? I cannot say I did. I doubt +if I could have entered into it more than I always had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span> ... we were such +friends. But how <i>he</i> must be entering into the whole spirit of my whole +pilgrimage! It was like so much of his old life and mine. Always he knew +that he had only to call and I would come to him, at school or wherever +he was; many a time I had jumped into a car and gone, though he never +did call me in his life. <i>Had he now?</i> ... There was my friend's car +waiting, as it might have been once more in the lane opposite 'the old +grey Chapel behind the trees.' ... And here were we passengers, a party +from the four winds, all brought together by different agencies for the +same simple end. Who had brought us? Who had prompted or inspired those +directly responsible for our being there? It was not, you perceive, a +case of one god from a machine, but of three at the very least. Who had +so beautifully arranged the whole difficult thing?</p> + +<p>Even to that band! But for 'Auld Lang Syne' one might not take it +seriously for a moment; but remembering those searching strains, and the +pathos put into them, the early hour, the wild place, the bursting +shrapnel, who can help the flash of fancy? Not one who will never forget +the boy's gay, winning knack of getting bands to play what he wanted; +this was just the tune he would have called, that we<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span> might all join +hands and not forget him, yet remember cheerily for his sake!</p> + +<p>But it all <i>had</i> been as he would have had it if he could: not one +little thing like that, but the whole big thing he <i>must</i> have wanted: +all granted to him or his without their mortal volition at any stage. +Chances or accidents, by the chapter, if you will! No man on earth can +prove the contrary; and yet there are few, perhaps, who have lost their +all in this war, and who would not thank God for such a string of +happenings. But one does not thank God for a chain of chances. And if +any link was of His forging, why not the whole chain, as two thankful +people dare to think?</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span></p> + +<h2 class="newchapter"><a name="THE_REST_HUT" id="THE_REST_HUT"></a>THE REST HUT</h2> + +<p class="date">(<i>February-March, 1918</i>)</p> + + +<h3 class="sectionone"><a name="FRESH_GROUND" id="FRESH_GROUND"></a>FRESH GROUND</h3> + +<p>It was not my inspiration to run one of our huts entirely as a library +for the troops. I was merely the fortunate person chosen to conduct the +experiment. In most of the huts there was already some small supply of +books for circulation, and at our headquarters in the town a dusty +congestion of several hundred volumes which nobody had found time to +take in hand. The idea was to concentrate these scattered units, to +obtain standard reinforcements from London and the base, indent for all +the popular papers and magazines, and go into action as a Free Library +at the Front. It was at first proposed to do without any kind of a +canteen; but I was all against driving a keen reader elsewhere for his +tea, and held out for light refreshments after four and cigarettes all +the time. On this and many other points I was given my way in a fashion +that would have fired anybody to make the venture a success.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span>The hut placed at my disposal was a very good one in the middle of the +town, indeed within the palisade of the once magnificent Town Hall. That +grandiose pile had been knocked into mountains of rubbish, with the mere +stump of its dizzy belfry still towering over all as the Matterhorn of +the range. These ruins formed one side of a square like a mouthful of +bad teeth, all hollow stumps or clean extractions; our upstart hut was +the only whole building of any sort within sight. It had a better saloon +than my last land-ship; on the other hand, it was infested with rats +from the surrounding wrecks. They would lope across the floor under +one's nose, or dangle their tails from the beams overhead, and I slept +with a big stick handy.</p> + +<p>Relays of peace-time carpenters, borrowed from their units for a day or +two each, fell upon all the benches and table-tops they required, and +turned them into five long tiers of book-shelves behind the counter. In +the meantime our own Special Artist was busy on a new and noble scheme +of decoration, and two or three of us up to our midriffs in the first +thousand books. They were a motley herd: the sweepings of unknown +benefactors' libraries, the leavings of officers and men, cunning shafts +from the devout of all denominations, and the first draft of cheap +masterpieces from the base. Classifi<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span>cation was beyond me, even if time +had been no object: how could one classify 'The Sol of Germany,' 'A +Yorkstireman Alroad,' 'The Livinz Waze,' 'From Workhouse to Westminster: +Life-Story of With Gooks, M.P.' (four copies), or even the books these +titles stood for in the typewritten catalogue that arrived (from Paris) +too late to entertain us? All authors in alphabetical order seemed the +simplest principle; and in practice even that arrangement ran away with +days.</p> + +<p>Then each volume had to be labelled (over the publishers' imprint on the +binding) and the labels filled in with the letter and number of each in +one's least illegible hand; and this took more days, though the rough +draft of the catalogue emerged simultaneously; and the merit of the +plan, if any, was that the catalogue order eventually coincided with +that of the actual books on the shelves. The drawback was that books +kept dropping in or turning up too late for insertion in their proper +places. I could think of no better way out of this difficulty than by +resorting to a large Z class, or dump, for late-comers. This met the +case though far from satisfying my instincts for the rigour of a game. +Another time (this coming winter, for instance, when I hope to have it +all to do again) I shall be delighted to adopt some more approved method +of dealing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span> with a growing library; last spring one had to do the best +one could by the light of nature. Nevertheless, there was not much amiss +(except the handwriting) with the clean copy (in carbon duplicate) of a +catalogue which ran to a good many thousand words, and kept two of us +out of bed till several successive midnights; for by this time I had a +staunch confederate who took the whole thing as seriously as I did, and +perhaps even found it as good fun.</p> + +<p>We had hoped to open—it was really very like producing a play—early in +February, but a variety of vicissitudes delayed the event until the +twentieth of the month. As the day approached we had many visitors, who +had heard of our effort and were prepared to spread our fame; time was +well lost in showing them round, and I confess I enjoyed the job. They +had to begin by admiring the scraper. It was perhaps the worst scraper +in Europe—I ached for a week from sinking its two uprights into harder +chalk with a heavier pick-axe than I thought existed—but it was +symbolical. It meant that you could leave the mud of war outside our +hut; but I am afraid the first thing to be seen inside was inconsistent +with this symbol. It was the complete <i>Daily Mail</i> sketch-map of the +Western Front, the different sheets joined together and mounted on the +locked door<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span> opposite the one in use. The feature of this feature was +that the Line was pegged out from top to bottom with the best red-tape +procurable in the town. It toned delightfully with the art-green of the +sketch-map.</p> + +<p>In the ordinary Y.M.C.A. nobody would have seen it! In winter, at any +rate, it is dusk at high noon in the ordinary hut, which is lighted only +by canvas windows under the eaves. In our hut, however, we had a pair of +fine skylights, expressly cut to save our readers' eyes, and glazed with +some shimmering white stuff which seemed to increase the light, like a +fall of snow, instead of slightly diluting it like the best of glass. +The side windows glistened with the same material, so that a dull day +seemed to clear up as you entered. Between the skylights stood four +trestle tables under one covering of American cloth, whereon the day's +papers, magazines and weeklies, were to be displayed club-fashion; the +writing tables, likewise in American cloth, were arranged under the side +windows; and at an even distance from either end of the fourfold reading +table were the two stoves. One stove is the ordinary hut-allowance.</p> + +<p>Round each stove ran a ring of canvas and wicker arm-chairs, in which a +tired man might read himself to sleep, and between the chairs stood +little round tables for his tea and biscuits<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span> when he woke. They were +garden tables painted for the part, with spidery black legs and bright +vermilion tops, and on each a nice new ash-tray (of the least possible +intrinsic value, I admit) in further imitation of the club smoking-room. +That was the atmosphere I wanted for the body of the hut.</p> + +<p>At the platform end we were ready for anything, from itinerant lecturers +to the most local preacher, and from hymns to comic songs; the best +piano in the area was equal to any strain; and a somewhat portentous +rostrum, though not knocked together for me, was just my height, while +the American cloth in which we found it was a dead match for our +extensive importations of that fabric. It was at this end of the hut +that our Special Artist and Decorator had excelled himself. All down the +sides were his frieze of flags, his dado of red and white cotton in +alternate stripes, and his own extraordinarily effective chalk drawings +on sheets of brown paper between the windows. But for the angle under +the roof, over the platform, he had reserved his masterpiece. One day, +while we were still busy with the books, our handy man of genius had +stood for an hour or two on a ladder; and descending, left behind him a +complete allegorical cartoon of Literature, including many life-size +figures in flowing robes busy with the primitive<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span> tools of one's trade. +I am not an art critic, like my friend the war correspondent, who +ruthlessly detected faults in drawing, instead of applauding all we had +to show him; to me, the pride of our walls was at least a remarkable +<i>tour de force</i>. The Official Photographer was to have come at a later +date to witness if I exaggerate. He left it too long. He may have +another chance this winter. 'Literature' has been preserved.</p> + +<p>These private views too often started at the counter, because visitors +had a way of entering through my room; but to see the library as I do +think it deserved seeing, one had to turn one's back upon all I have +described, and with a proper piety bear down upon the books. In their +five long shelves, each edged and backed with the warm red cotton of the +dado, and broken only by my door behind the counter, those thirty yards +of good and bad reading were wholly good to see, on our opening day +especially, before the first borrower had made the first gap in their +serried ranks. There indeed stood they at attention, their labels at the +same unwavering height as so many pairs of puttees (except the few I had +not affixed myself); and I felt that I, too, had turned a mob into an +army.</p> + +<p>Immediately over the top row, on a scroll expertly lettered by our +Special Illuminator<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span> (another of our talented band), its own new motto, +from Thomas à Kempis, ran right across the hut:</p> + +<p><i>Without Labour there is no Rest; nor without Fighting can the Victory +be Won.</i></p> + +<p>I really think I was as pleased with that, on the morning I thought of +it in bed (having just decided to call the hut The Rest Hut), as +Thackeray is said to have been when he danced about his bedroom +crying—'"Vanity Fair"! "Vanity Fair"! "Vanity Fair"!' But I only once +heard a remark upon our motto from the men. 'Well, that's logic anyhow!' +said one when he had read it out across the counter. I could have wished +for no better comment from a soldier.</p> + +<p>Higher still, in the angle of the roof at this end, the flags of the +Allies enfolded the Sign of the Rest Hut, which was an adaptation of the +Red Triangle. I was having a slightly more elaborate version compressed +into a rubber stamp for all literary matter connected with the hut.</p> + +<p>The rubber stamp did not arrive in time for the opening; nor had there +been time to stick our few rules into more than a few of the books. But +I had a paste-pot and a pile of these labels ready on the counter. And +since we <i>are</i> going into details, one may as well swing for the whole +sheep:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span>—</p> + +<blockquote><p class="center">THE REST HUT LIBRARY<br /> +(<b>Y.M.C.A.</b>)</p> + +<p><i>This book may be taken out on a deposit of <b class="upright">1 franc.</b> +which will be returned when the book is brought back.</i></p> + +<p><i>Books cannot be exchanged more than once daily, and +no Reader is entitled to more than one volume at a +time.</i></p> + +<p><i>A book may be kept as long as required: but in each +other's interests Readers are begged to return all +books as soon as they conveniently can, and in as good +order as possible.</i></p></blockquote> + +<p>Frankly, we flattered ourselves on dispensing with time-limit and fine; +and in practice I can commend that revolutionary plan to other amateur +librarians. Obviously you are much less likely to get a book back at all +if you want more money with it. You shall hear in what circumstances +many of ours were to come back, and at what touching trouble to men of +whom one can hardly bear to think to-day.</p> + +<p>But all the books were not for circulation; a Poetry and Reference Shelf +bestrode my end of the counter. Duplicate Poets were to be allowed out +like novels; but they were not expected to have many followers. A more +outstanding feature, perhaps the apple of the librarian's glasses<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span> was +the New Book Table, just in front of the counter at the same end. I +thought a tableful of really new books would be tremendously attractive +to the real readers, that their mere appearance might convey a certain +element of morale. So one long day I had spent upon fifteen begging +letters to fifteen different publishers—not the same begging letter +either, for some of them I knew and some knew me not wisely but too +well. On the whole the fifteen played up, and the New Book Table was +well and truly spread for the inaugural feast. The novelties were to +grace it for a fortnight before going into the catalogue; and we started +with quite a brave display. There were travels and biographies, new +novels and books of verse, all spick-and-span in their presentation +wrappers; and we arranged them most artistically on a gaudy table-cloth +that cost thirty francs; with a large cardboard mug (by our Illuminator) +warning other mugs off the course. And I think that really is the last +of our preparations, unless I mention the receptacles for waste-paper, +which proved quite unable to compete against the floor.</p> + +<p>They were, I daresay, the most fatuously faddy and elaborate +preparations ever made for a library which might be blown sky-high at +any moment by a shell. I had not forgotten that none too remote +contingency. But it was the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span> last thing I wanted any man to remember +from the moment he crossed our threshold. We were just about five miles +from the Germans, and I had gone to work exactly as I should in the +peaceful heart of England. But that was just where I wanted a man to +think himself—until he stepped back into the War.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="OPENING_DAY" id="OPENING_DAY"></a>OPENING DAY</h3> + +<p>It really <i>was</i> rather like a first night; but there was this +intimidating difference, that whereas the worst play in the world draws +at least one good house, we were by no means certain of that measure of +success. Our venture had been announced, most kindly, in Divisional +Orders, as well as verbally at the Y.M. Cinema; but still we knew it was +not everybody who believed in us, and that 'a wash-out' had been +predicted with some confidence. Even those in authority, who had most +handsomely given me my head, were some of them inclined to shake theirs +over the result. It was therefore an exciting moment when we opened at +two o'clock on the appointed afternoon. There was more occasion for +excitement when I had to lock the door for the last time some weeks +later; and the two disappointments are not to be compared; but my +private cup has seldom filled more suddenly than when I unlocked it with +my own hand—and beheld not one solitary man in sight! 'A wash-out' was +not the word. It was my Niagara.</p> + +<p>At least it looked like it; but after one bad quarter of an hour it +turned into a steady trickle of repentant warriors. If the two of us +had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span> been holding a redoubt against the enemy, I am not sure that we +should have been more delighted to see them than we were. In half an +hour the big reading table was surrounded by solemn faces; each of the +two stoves had its full circle in the easy chairs; the New Book Table +had been discovered, was being thronged, and the best piano in the area +yielding real music to the touch of a real pianist. The Rest Hut had +started on its short but happy voyage.</p> + +<p>Those there were who came demanding candles and boot-polish, and who +fled before our softest answers; and there were seekers after billiards +who had to be directed elsewhere for their game. I had tipped too many +cues at the last hut, and stopped too many games for the further +performance of that worse than thankless task, to have the essential +quality of the Rest Hut subverted by a billiard-table. The readers, +writers, musicians, and above all the weary men, of an Army Corps were +the fish for my rod; and we had not been open an hour before I was +enjoying good sport, tempered by early misgiving about my flies.</p> + +<p>The first book that I connect with a specific inquiry was one that I had +certainly failed to order. It was 'anything of Walter de la Mare's'; and +I felt a Philistine for having nothing, but a fool for supposing for a +moment that I had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span> pitched my hut within the boundaries of Philistia. +There might have been a conspiracy to undeceive me on the point without +delay. The Poetry Shelf (despite deficiencies so promptly proven) +received attention from the start. I forget if it was Mr. de la Mare's +admirer who presently took out <i>The Golden Treasury</i>, of which we +mercifully had several copies; it was certainly a Jock. I showed him the +Shelf, and could have wrung his hand for the tone in which he murmured +'Keats!' It was reverential, awe-stricken and just right. Clearly <i>his</i> +Dominie had not abused the taws.</p> + +<p>In the meantime I had taken a deposit on three prose volumes. These were +they, these the first three authors to cross my counter:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"> +<p>1. George Meredith: <i>The Ordeal of Richard Feverel</i>.</p> + +<p>2. Robert Louis Stevenson: <i>Across the Plains</i>.</p> + +<p>3. Hilaire Belloc: <i>Mr. Clutterbuck's Election</i>.</p> +</div> + +<p>As I say, it seemed like a conspiracy—but I swear I was not one of the +conspirators! They were—my benefactor already—the pianist, and his +friends; three young privates in the R.A.M.C., all afterwards great +friends of mine. Of course, this form was too good to be true of the +mass; and the particular Field Ambulance to which they belonged was an +unusually brainy unit, as I came to know it through many other +repre<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span>sentatives; but I shall always be grateful to that musical young +Meredithian for the start he gave me, and may this mite of +acknowledgment meet his spectacles.</p> + +<p>On the same opening page of my first day-book, to be sure, a less +rarefied level is reached by some comparatively pedestrian stuff, +including a work of Mr. Charles Garvice and no fewer than two wastrels +'of my own composure' (as the village organist had it); but my place +(though gratifying) was obviously due to an ulterior curiosity; and +among the twenty-three books in all that went out that afternoon, there +was a further burst of four that went far to restore the higher +standard: they were <i>Lorna Doone</i>, <i>My Novel</i>, <i>Nicholas Nickleby</i> and +<i>Oliver Twist</i>. The two first fell to Jocks; the Blackmore masterpiece +was read forthwith from cover to cover in the trenches, and that Jock +came down by special permission for something else as good!</p> + +<p>A happy afternoon, and of still happier omen! But I was going to need +more 'good stuff'; that was the first hard fact to be faced. I had not +reckoned with those eager intellectuals, the young stretcher-bearers who +had borne a lantern for the nonce. They were going to bring their +friends, and did; and were I to tabulate the books these youths took out +between<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span> them, in the busy month to come, it would be pronounced, I +think, as good a little library as a modern young man, with a +sociological bias and a considered outlook, could wish to form. And then +there were all the books we hadn't got for them! But these missing +friends did more, perhaps, to make friends for the Rest Hut than such as +were there to close the subject; for one might be able to suggest +something else instead; and the man might have read that already, but +his face might lighten at the recollection, and across the counter on +our four elbows the pair of us forge that absent book into the first +link of friendship.</p> + +<p>But any one can gossip about the books he loves, and with a soldier at +the front any fool could talk on any topic. So I had it both ways, as +one seldom does, according to the saying. It may be that the men who +found their pleasure in the Rest Hut were by nature responsive and +enthusiastic, and not merely sensitised and refined by the generous +fires of constant camaraderie and unselfish suffering. I am speaking of +them now only as I found them across that narrow counter, while I +deliberately pasted my label of rules inside the cover, and deliberately +dabbed my rubber-stamp down on the fly-leaf opposite. I have seen clean +into a noble heart between these delaying rites and a meticulous<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span> entry +in my day-book. It was pain to me when three or four were waiting their +turn, and a certain despatch became imperative; it always meant a +corresponding period without any work or any friend-making across the +counter.</p> + +<p>At the short end, beyond the flap (never lowered in the Rest Hut), my +friend and mate dispensed the cigarettes and biscuits, and tea made with +devoted care by a wrinkled Frenchwoman worth all the Y.M.C.A. orderlies +I ever saw, not excepting the two stalwarts at the Ark. The Rest Hut +orderly was a smart soldier of the old type, a clever carpenter, and a +good cook with large ideas about breakfast. He lived out, did not give +us his whole time, and early struck me as a man of mystery; but he was a +quick and willing worker who did his part by us. The jewel of the hut's +company was my mate. I can only describe him as an Australian Jock, and +of the first water on both sides. Twice or thrice rejected in Australia, +he had come home to try again and yet again with no better luck; so here +he was, with his fine heart and his dry cough, as near the firing-line +as he could get 'for the duration.' I may lose a friend for having said +so much, yet I have to add that he had taken the whole burden of the +till and its attendant accounts (a hut-leader's business) off the +shoulders of inexperience.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span> Friends who predicted the worst of me in +this connection, and are surprised to see me still outside a defaulter's +cell, will please accept the only explanation.</p> + +<p>It was a musical tea that opening afternoon, for another of our talented +troupe brought the pick of his orchestra from the Association Cinema in +the main street hard by; and for an hour it was like the Carlton, with a +difference. I wonder what the Carlton could charge for that difference, +even at this stage of the war!</p> + +<p>Altogether I thought myself the luckiest civilian alive that February +afternoon; but my bed of roses had its crumpled leaf. On the fine great +cardboard programme for the week (next the map: our Illuminator again), +with its cunning slots for moveable amusements, besides that of the +Cinema Orchestra there was something about Prayers. That was where I was +coming in—on the wrong side of the counter—and as the night advanced +it blew a gale inside me. Five minutes before the time, I mounted the +platform and made known the worst; and ever afterwards finished the +evening by pursuing the same plan, so that all who wished could +withdraw, losing only the last five minutes, and no man (I promised +them) have anything unpalatable thrust down his throat. I am not sure +that it was the most courageous method of procedure;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span> but it was mine, +and the men knew where they were. I used to read a few verses, a Vailima +Prayer and but one or two more: some men went out, but there was the +satisfaction of feeling that those who stayed were in the mood for +Prayers.</p> + +<p>After the first week or ten days, a third worker came to help us; and he +being a minister, I persuaded him to relieve me of this nightly duty, +though with a sigh that was not all relief. I always loved reading to +the men, but Prayers are shy work for an old layman, and soldiers (if I +know them) care less for the deathless composition of a Saint than for +the unpremeditated outpouring of the man before their eyes. The minister +used to give them all that, perched on a chair in their midst; and he +kept a much fuller hut than I at my rostrum of American cloth.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="THE_HUT_IN_BEING" id="THE_HUT_IN_BEING"></a>THE HUT IN BEING</h3> + +<p>I had thought of finishing my account of our opening day with the +impressions of a Corporal in the A.S.C., as recorded in his diary that +very night. But though the extract reached me in a most delightful way, +and though decency would have disqualified the flattering estimate of +'the Superintendent' (as 'a man of cheery temperament'), on examination +none of it quite fits in. As description it covers, though with the +fleeter pen of youth, ground on which I have already loitered: enough +that it was all 'a big surprise' to him: 'a "home from home"' already to +one soldier of a literary turn, and likely in his opinion to prove a joy +to 'some of the lonely hearts of the lads in khaki.' <i>Q.E.F.</i></p> + +<p>And though it was weeks and months before the Corporal's testimony came +to hand, it felt from the beginning as though we really had 'done it.' I +say 'it felt,' because there was something in those few thousand cubic +feet of air that one could neither see nor hear; something atmospheric, +and yet far transcending any atmosphere, whether of the smoking-room or +library or what-not, that we had thought to create; for it was something +the men had brought with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span> them, nothing that we had ready. Just as they +say on the stage that it is the audience who do half the acting, so it +was the soldiers who fought half our little battle—and the winning +half.</p> + +<p>Each of those first days the hut seemed fuller than the day before; more +men came early and stayed late; more were to be counted napping round +the stoves (as in my rosiest visions) at the same time; more and more +books were taken out; and better books, because it was the +better-educated men who came flocking in, the intellectual pick of an +Army Corps who made our hut their club. If ever a dream came true, if +ever a reality excelled an ideal, it was in the wonderful success of our +little effort. Little enough, in all conscience; a bubble in the tide of +travail; but it is only in little that these delightful flukes come off, +and the bubble was soon enough to burst.</p> + +<p>In the meantime there were elements of imperfection even in our Rest +Hut: one or two things, and on both sides of the counter, to pique a +passion for the impeccable.</p> + +<p>To begin with the books, we really had <i>not</i> enough Good Stuff. Not +nearly! Nor am I thinking only, nor yet chiefly, of Good Stuff in the +shape of narrative fiction. It is true that we had not Merediths enough, +nor a supply of Wessex Novels in any way equal to the demand among my +Red Cross friends (who read infer<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span>nally fast) and others of the elect; +nor did the two complete Kipling sets, ordered long before the library +was opened, ever look like coming. These authors we had only in odd +volumes, and few were the nights they spent upon their shelves. But a +novel-reader is a novel-reader, one can generally find him something; my +difficulty was in coping with another type altogether—the real +bookworm—who is far more particular about his food. Anything but novels +for this gentleman as I knew him at the front; and he was often the last +person one would have suspected of his particular tastes, sometimes a +very young gentleman indeed. There was one such, a rugged lad with a +strong Lancashire or Yorkshire accent, whom I thought I should never +suit. Lamb, Emerson, Ruskin and Carlyle, he demanded in turn as glibly +as Woodbines or Gold Flakes; but either I had them not, or they were +out. Macaulay's Essays happened to be in. 'The literary ones?' said the +boy, suspiciously, to my suggestion. 'I don't want the political!' I +remember he took a <i>Golden Treasury</i> in the end; as already noted, I had +several copies, and needed every one.</p> + +<p>Then I found that I required a better selection of technical works of +all sorts. Engineers, especially, want engineering books and journals; +it is a rest to the fighting man to pursue his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span> peace-time interests or +studies at the front. Nothing, one can well imagine, takes him out of +khaki quicker; and that is what his books are for, nor will he shut them +a worse soldier. Of devotional works, as I may have hinted, we opened +with a fair number; this was increased later by a strong consignment +from Tottenham Court Road. But it was impossible to be too strong on +that side—with a Division of Jocks in the sector!</p> + +<p>'It's the only subject that interests me,' said a tight-lipped Scottish +Rifleman, quite simply, on the third day. He was not a man I would have +surrendered to with much confidence on a dark night, but he had brought +back a book called <i>The Fact of Christ</i>, and he wanted something else in +the same category. Just then there was nothing; but with imbecile +temerity I did say we had a number of 'religious novels' by a lady of +great eminence. 'I'm no a believer in <i>her</i>,' was his only reply. I can +still see his grim ghost of a smile. Himmel help the Hun who sees it +first!</p> + +<p>The young man vanished for his sixteen days, and in his absence came the +bale of theology from Tottenham Court Road.</p> + +<p>'Now I've got something for you,' said I when I saw his keen face again; +and lifted off its shelf Dr. Norman Macleod's most weighty tome. I +cannot check the Parisian typist who<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span> rendered the title <i>Caraid nan +Gaidherl</i>; the subject, however, was the only one that interested the +Scottish Rifleman, and I took the tongue for his very own. My mistake!</p> + +<p>'But that'll be in Gaelic,' said he, without opening the book. 'I have +never studied Gaelic, though a Highlander born. Now, had it been +Hebrew,' and he really smiled, 'I micht have managed!'</p> + +<p>I saw he might; for obviously he had been a theological student when he +felt it incumbent upon him (especially as such) to play a Jock's part in +the Holy War. I saw, too, that his smile was shy and gentle in its +depths, only grim on top. I think, after all, he would have given his +last cigarette to a prisoner of anything like his own manhood.</p> + +<p>But there was one worse failure than any deficiency on our shelves, and +that, alas! was my own poor dear New Book Table. I had not looked after +it as I ought, and neither had my friend and fellow-worker; in my +eagerness to keep our respective departments ideally distinct, this +fancy one had fallen between two stools. Several of the new books were +missing before we actually missed one; then we took nightly stock, and +with mortifying results. At last it could go on no longer, and the new +books were replaced by old bound volumes of magazines,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span> more difficult +to deport. But I was determined to have it out with the hut; and I chose +the next Sunday evening service, in the course of which I made it a rule +to have my say about things in general, for the delicate duty.</p> + +<p>I didn't a bit like doing it, as I held my regular readers above +suspicion, and they formed the bulk of the little congregation; and that +night I was in any case more nervous than I meant them to see, as for +once I had decided to tackle the 'sermon' myself. It was the first +evening of Summer Time; lamplight was unnecessary; and the splendid men +sitting at ease in the arm-chairs, which they had drawn up to the +platform end, or at the tables or on the floor, made a great picture in +the soft warm dusk. One candle glimmered at the piano, and one on that +egregious rostrum, as I stood up behind it and trembled in my boots.</p> + +<p>I told them the New Book Table had ceased to exist as such; that I had +prostrated myself before fifteen of my natural enemies, in order to +spread that table to their liking; but that there had been so many +desertions from my crack corps that we were obliged to disband it. Not +quite so pat as all that, but in some such words (and to my profound +relief) I managed to get a laugh, which enabled me to say I thought it +hard luck on the ninety-and-nine just persons<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span> that the hundredth man +should borrow books without going through the preliminary formalities. +But I added that if they came across any of the deserters, and would +induce them to return to their unit, I should be greatly obliged. They +were jolly enough to clap before I launched into my discourse, and it +was what their rum ration must have been to them. I wish as much could +be done for poor deacons before going over <i>their</i> top.</p> + +<p>But the point is that at least one deserter did return next day; and +what touched me more, the little gifts of books, which they had taken to +bringing me for the library, increased and multiplied from that night. +Nor must I forget the humorist (not one of my high-brows) who +button-holed me on my way back to the counter:—</p> + +<p>'Beg yer pardon, Mr. 'Ornung, but that pinchin' them new books—wasn't a +Raffles trick, was it?'</p> + +<p>But if we failed where I had thought we were doing something extra +clever, we met with great success in a less deliberate innovation for +which I can claim but little credit.</p> + +<p>In our quiet hut there was no need for the usual Quiet Room; but there +it was, at the platform end, as much use as in the heart of the Great +Sahara. I had thought of turning it into a little informal sort of +lecture-room, for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span> readings and other entertainments which might not be +to everybody's taste. But I had no time to organise or run a side-show; +neither of us had a spare moment in the beginning. Though we never +opened in the morning, except to officers who cared to come in as +friends, there was plenty to do behind the scenes—parcels of new books +to unpack and acknowledge, supplementary catalogues to prepare—all +manner of preparations and improvements that took the two of us all our +time. Then my second mate, the minister, fell from Heaven—for he was +just our man.</p> + +<p>He had made a hobby of the literary evening in his Border parish; had +come out armed with a number of vivacious appreciations of his favourite +authors, the very thing for our Quiet Room. I handed it over to him +forthwith, and we embarked together upon a series of Quiet Room +Evenings, which I do believe were a joy to all concerned. At any rate we +always had an audience of forty or fifty enthusiasts, who took part in +the closing discussion, and in time might have been encouraged to put up +a better lecture than either of us. The minister, however, was very +good; and what he had cut out, in his unselfish pursuit of brevity, I +could sometimes put into a more ponderous performance at the end. It was +a greater chance than any that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span> one got on Sunday evening; for though I +promise them there was never any previous idea of improving the +occasion, yet it was impossible to sit, pipe in mouth, chatting about +some great writer to that roomful of thinking, fighting men, and not to +touch great issues unawares. Life and death—wine and women—I almost +shudder to think what subjects were upon us before we knew where we +were! But a great, big, heavenly heart beat back at me, the composite +heart of fifty noblemen on easy terms with Death; and if they heard +anything worth remembering, it came from themselves as much as though +they had written the things down and handed them up to me to read out. I +have known an audience of young schoolboys as kindlingly responsive to a +man who loved them; but here were grown soldiers on the battle's brink; +and their high company, and their dear attention, what a pride and +privilege were they!</p> + +<p>If only it had been earlier in the season, not the very hush before the +hurricane! There were so many lives and works that we were going to +thresh out together—Francis Thompson's, for one. He had crept into our +evening with Edgar Allan Poe. I had promised them a long evening with +Francis; the stretcher-bearers, especially, were looking forward to it +as much as I was; but I had to send for the books, and they were not in +time.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span>And on the last of these Quiet Room Evenings, a young lad in a Line +regiment had stayed behind and said:</p> + +<p>'May we have a lecture on Sir John Ruskin, sir?'</p> + +<p>I said of course they might—but I was not competent to deliver it +myself. His books were on the way, however, for there had been more than +one inquiry for them. They also arrived too late.</p> + +<p>I had never seen the boy before, nor did I again. I may this winter. He +shall have his 'lecture on Sir John Ruskin'—if I have to get it up +myself!</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="WRITERS_AND_READERS" id="WRITERS_AND_READERS"></a>WRITERS AND READERS</h3> + +<p>For my own ends I kept a kind of librarian's ledger, in which was +entered, under the author's name, every book that ever went out, +together with its successive dates of departure and return. This +amateurish scheme may not have been worth the labour it entailed, in +spare moments at the counter or last thing at night, after a turn-over +of perhaps a hundred volumes, many of which needed new labels before +retiring to the shelf. But I was never sorry I had let myself in for it. +Theoretically, one had only to look up a book in this ledger to tell +whether it was in or out; but in practice my reward was not then, but is +now, when I can see at a glance who really were our popular authors, and +which books of theirs were never without a partner, and which proved +wall-flowers.</p> + +<p>Statistics, however, are notoriously bad witnesses; and some of mine +would not stand cross-examination. Thus, take him for all in all, the +author of <i>The First Hundred Thousand</i> may add the blue ribbon of the +Rest Hut to his collection; but then, we had practically all his books, +and some of them four or five deep. Nor was the one that had more +outings than anything of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span> anybody's on our shelves on that account the +most popular; it may even have been the author's nearest approach to a +bad penny. On the other hand, our four copies of <i>The First Hundred +Thousand</i> were out almost as long as we were open, and all four 'failed +to return.' As for its sequel, our only copy eloped with its first +partner: had all our authors been Ian Hays there would have been no +carrying on the library after the first hundred thousand seconds.</p> + +<p>The run on these two books was the more noteworthy in view of the +fighting reader's distaste for 'shop.' It was the flattering exception +to a very human rule; for I find, taking a good many days at random, +that while all but thirteen of every hundred issues were novels, less +than three of the thirteen were books about the war. Some forty-nine +readers out of fifty wanted something that would take them out of khaki, +and nearly nine out of ten pinned their faith to fiction.</p> + +<p>How many preferred a really good novel is another and a more invidious +matter; but nothing was more refreshing than the way the older masters +held their own. Dickens was in constant demand, especially among the +older men; and they really read him, judging by the days the immortal +works stayed out. Again, it was worth noting that here in France <i>A +Tale<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span> of Two Cities</i> had twice as many readers as <i>Pickwick</i>, which came +next in order of popularity. Thackeray was not fully represented, but we +had all his best and they were always out. Of the Brontës we had next to +nothing, of Reade and Trollope far too little; but <i>It is Never too Late +to Mend</i> enchanted a Sapper, a Machine Gunner, and a Red Cross man in +turn, while <i>Orley Farm</i> would have headed our first day's list had it +been there in time. George Eliot was never without readers, but Miss +Braddon had more, and <i>The Woman in White</i> only one! After Dickens, +however, the most popular Victorian was the first Lord Lytton.</p> + +<p>I confess it rejoiced my heart to hand out the protagonists of a +belittled age at least as freely as their 'opposite numbers' of the +present century. But I had my surprises. Scott (Sir Walter!) was a firm +wall-flower for the first fortnight; probably the Jocks knew him off by +heart; and, of course, the same thing may apply to their unnatural +neglect of the so-called Kaleyard School of other days. There was, at +any rate, nothing clannish about their reading. It was a Jock who took +<i>The Unspeakable Scot</i> for its only airing; and more than three-fourths +of my Stevensonians were Sassenachs. But one could still conjure with +the name of Stevenson, as with many another made in his time. Mr.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span> +Kipling's soldiers are adored by legions created in their image. Sir H. +Rider Haggard was never on the Rest House shelf. Messrs. Holmes and +Watson were the most flourishing of old firms, and Gerard the only +Brigadier taken seriously at my counter. Ruritania, too, got back some +of its own trippers from the Five Towns; for though you would have +thought there was adventure enough in the air we breathed, there was +more realism, and it was against the realism we all reacted. Mr. +Bennett, to be sure, did not occupy nearly enough space in our +capricious catalogue; neither, for that matter, did Mr. Weyman, Mr. +Galsworthy, Mr. Vachell, nor yet Miss Marie Corelli or Sir Thomas Hall +Caine. The fault was not mine, I can assure them.</p> + +<p>Mr. H. G. Wells, on the other hand, utilised a better chance by tying +with the author of <i>Arsène Lupin</i>, and just beating Mr. Phillips +Oppenheim, for a place it would be unprofitable to compute. Even they +could not live the pace of Mr. Charles Garvice, who in his turn +succumbed to the lady styled the Baroness Horsy by her fondest slaves; +to these two and to Miss Ethel Dell, among others I have or have not +presumed to mention, I could wish no greater joy than my job at that +counter when their books were coming in, and 'another by the same +author, if you've got one,' being urgently<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span> demanded in their place. The +most enthusiastic letter ever written for an autograph could not touch +the eager tone, the live eye, the parted lips of those unconscious +tributes. It is not the look you see in Mudie's as you wait your turn; +but I have seen it in small boys chasing pirates with 'Ballantyne the +Brave,' and in one old lady who fell in love every Sunday of her dear +life with the hero of <i>The Family Herald Supplement</i>. It was even better +worth seeing in a soldier with <i>Just a Girl</i> in his ruthless hand, and +<i>The One Girl in the World</i> trembling on a reverential tongue. The man +might have been performing prodigies of dreadful valour up the Line, but +his soul had been on leave with a lady in marble halls.</p> + +<p>There were two young Privates in the A.S.C. who bolted their Garvice at +about two days to the book; and two trim Corporals of the Rifle Brigade +who made as short work of the other magicians. This type of reader +always hunted in couples, sharing the most sympathetic of all the +passions, if not the books themselves, which would double the rate of +consumption. They were the hard drinkers at my bar; but the hardest of +all was a lean young Jock, who smiled as hungrily as Cassius, and +arrived punctually at six every evening to change his book. He looked +delicate, and was, I think, like other<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span> regular attendants, on light +duty in the town; in any case he took his bottle of fiction a day +without fail, and once, when it was raining, drained it under my nose +and wanted another. I refused to serve him. Unlike the other topers, he +was a sardonic critic. One night he banged the counter with a book in my +own old line, and the invidious comment:</p> + +<p>'He can do what <i>you</i> no can!'</p> + +<p>I said I was sure, but inquired the special point of superiority.</p> + +<p>'He can kill his mon as often as he likes,' said McCassius, grimly, 'and +bring him to life again. Fufty times he has killed yon mon—fufty +times!'</p> + +<p>They were very nice to me about my books—but very honest! There was a +certain stretcher-bearer, a homely old fellow with a horse-shoe +moustache and mild brown eyes; not from the high-brow unit, but perhaps +a greater reader than any of them; and one of those who eschewed the +novel. <i>Scenes of Clerical Life</i> (on top of Lenotre's <i>Incidents of the +French Revolution</i>, and our two little volumes of <i>Elia</i>) had been his +only dissipation until, our friendship ripening, he weighed me with his +tranquil eyes and asked for <i>Raffles</i>. I seemed to detect a streak of +filial piety in the departure, and gave him as fair warning as I could; +but only the book itself could put him off. He returned it without a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span> +word to temper his forgiving smile, and took out <i>The Golden Treasury</i> +as a restorative. Poetry he loved with all his gentle soul; but when, at +a later stage, he asked if I thought he could 'learn to write poetry,' +the wounds of vanity were at least anointed.</p> + +<p>He used to take down Mr. David Somervell's capital <i>Companion to the +Golden Treasury</i> from the Poetry Shelf; and it was delightful to watch +his bent head wagging between text and note, a black-rimmed forefinger +creeping down either page, and his back as round as it could possibly +have been before the war. He told me he was a Northamptonshire shoemaker +by trade; and though you would trust him not to scamp a sole or bump a +stretcher, there was nothing to show that the war meant more to him than +his last, or life more than a chance of reading—the shadow lengthening +in the sunshine that he found in books. Once I said how I envied him all +that he had read; very gently—even for him—he answered that he owed it +all to his mother, who had taught him when he was so high, and would be +eighty-one come Tuesday. The man himself was only forty; but he was one +of those guileless creatures who make one unconsciously look up to them +as elders as well as betters. And at the front, where the old are so +gloriously young, and the young so pathetically old, nothing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span> is easier +than to forget one's own age: often enough mine was brought home to me +with a salutary shock.</p> + +<p>'When I was up the Line,' said one of my friends, bubbling over with a +compliment, 'a chap said to me, "You know that old—that—that <i>elderly</i> +man who runs the Rest Hut? He's the author of <i>Raffles</i>!"'</p> + +<p>Disastrous refinement! And the fellow grinned as though he had not +turned what might have been a term of friendship into one of pure +opprobrium. Elderly! One would as lief be labelled Virtuous or Discreet.</p> + +<p>Another of my poetry lovers did really write it—but not his own—there +was too much of a twinkle in <i>his</i> brown eyes! They were twinkling +tremendously when I saw them first, fixed upon the Poetry Shelf, and the +tightest upper lip in the hut seemed to be keeping down a cheer. No +sooner had we spoken than he was saying he kept his own anthology in his +field pocket-book—and could I remember the third verse of 'Out of the +night that covers me'? Happily I could; and so made friends with a man +after my heart of hearts.</p> + +<p>In the first place, he spoke the adorable accent of my native heath or +thereabouts; and the things he said were as good as the way he said +them. Sense and sensibility, fun and feeling,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span> candour and reserve, all +were there in perfect partnership, and his twinkling eyes lit each in +turn. Before the war he had been a postal telegraphist, and 'there +wasn't a greater pacifist alive'; now he was an R.E. signaller attached +to the Guards, and as for pacifism—the twinkle sharpened to a glitter +and his upper lip disappeared.</p> + +<p>Yet another man of forty, he had joined up early, and assigned any +credit to his wife—'good lass!' He was splendid about her and their +cheery life together; there was a happy marriage, if you like! 'Ever a +rover,' as he said romantically (but with the twinkle), he might be in a +post-office, but his heart was not; and it seemed the couple were one +spirit. Every summer they had taken their holiday tramping the moors, +their poets in their pack: 'when we were tired we would sit down and +read aloud.' No wonder the Poetry Shelf made him twinkle! There were two +cheery children, 'shaping' as you would expect; their dad borrowed my +<i>If</i> to copy out for the small boy's birthday, as well as in his field +anthology.</p> + +<p>Loyalty to one's own, when so impassioned, is by way of draining the +plain man's stock: perfect home lives are not so common that the +ordinary middle-aged ratepayer makes haste to give up one for the wars. +But the anthologist<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span> had not been 'wrapped up' like the rest of us. His +loyalties did not even end at his country. That first afternoon, I +remember, he told me he had been 'a bit of a Theosophist.'</p> + +<p>'Aren't you one now?'</p> + +<p>'No; but I still have a warm corner in my heart for them.'</p> + +<p>I thought that very finely said of a creed outlived. Give me a warm +corner for an old love, be it man, woman, or sect!</p> + +<p>Daily he dropped in to read and chat; not to take out a book until his +turn came for the Line. It was just when the German push seemed imminent +to many, was indeed widely expected at a date when my friend would still +be at his dangerous post. He knew well what it might mean at any moment; +and I think he said, 'The wireless man must be the last to budge,' with +the smile he kept for the things he meant; but for once his eyes were +not doing their part. 'Well, thank God I've <i>had</i> it!' he said of his +happy past as we locked hands. 'And nothing can take it away from you,' +I had the nerve to say; for these may be the comforts of one's own +heart, but it seems an insolence to offer them to a younger man with a +harder grip on life. Happily we understood each other. 'And many happy +chats had we,' he had written on the back of the photograph he left me. +He<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span> had also written his wife's address. <i>David Copperfield</i> went with +him when we parted. I wondered if I should ever see either of them +again.</p> + +<p>Sure enough, on the predicted night, came the roll of drum-fire, as like +thunder as a noise can be; but it was our drum-fire, as it happened, and +down came my friend next day to tell me all about it. No-Man's Land had +been 'boiling like cocoa' under our shells; he was full of the set-back +administered to Jerry, of the fun of underground wireless and the genius +of Charles Dickens. I sent him back with <i>Joseph Vance</i>, and we talked +of nothing else at our next meeting. It was our last; but I treasure a +letter (telling of 'the ruined city of our friendship,' among other +things), and a field-card of more recent date; and have every hope that +the writer is still lighting up underground danger-posts with his wise +twinkle, and still adding to his field anthology.</p> + +<p>Yet another hard reader was a Coldstream Guardsman, a much younger man, +and one of the handsomest in the hut. He, too, if you will believe me, +had brown eyes—a thing that could not happen to three successive +characters in a novel—but of another order altogether. If they had +never killed a lady in their time, their molten glow belied them. This +young man liked a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span> classic author of full flavour. <i>Tom Jones</i> was +probably his favourite novel, but we had it not. De Maupassant would +have enchanted him—but not the coarse translations on vile paper—or +Rousseau's or Cellini's open secrets. As it was he had to put up with +Anatole France, and oddments of Swift and Wilde; nor do I forget his +justifiable disgust on discovering too late that our <i>Gulliver</i> was a +nursery version. He was a delightful companion across the counter: +subtle, understanding, soft-spoken, in himself a romantic figure, yet +engagingly vulnerable to romance.</p> + +<p>'I'm feeling sentimental, Mr. Hornung. I want a love-story,' he sighed +one afternoon. I reminded him that he would also want Good Stuff, and +succeeded in meeting all his needs with <i>Ships that Pass in the Night</i>.</p> + +<p>Next day we had our Quiet Room Evening with Tom Hood; and that was the +time I strayed upon delicate ground by way of 'The Bridge of Sighs,' +from poem to subject before I knew where I was. The men took it +beautifully, and touched my heart by impulsively applauding the very +things I should have feared to say to them upon reflection. As for our +Coldstreamer, he came straight up to the counter and took out Jeremy +Taylor's <i>Holy Living and Dying</i>!</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="WAR_AND_THE_MAN" id="WAR_AND_THE_MAN"></a>WAR AND THE MAN</h3> + +<p>Not a day but some winning thing was said or done by one or other of +them. A man whom I hardly knew had been changing his book when he heard +me talking about green envelopes.</p> + +<p>'Do you want a green envelope?' he asked point-blank.</p> + +<p>'As a matter of fact, I do.'</p> + +<p>'Then I'll see if I can't get you one.'</p> + +<p>Now, the point about the 'green envelope' is the printed declaration on +the outside, that the contents 'refer to nothing but private and family +matters'; this being signed by the sender, your letter is censorable +only at the base, and will not be read by anybody with whom you are in +daily contact. There is, I believe, a weekly issue of one of these +envelopes per man. This I only remembered as the generous soul was +turning away.</p> + +<p>'Don't you go giving me anything you want yourself!' I called after him.</p> + +<p>He just looked over his shoulder. 'Then it wouldn't be much of a gift, +would it?' was all he said; but I shall never give a copper to a +crossing-sweeper without trying to forget his words.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span>That man was a driver in the R.H.A., and beyond the fact that he had +just been reading <i>The White Company</i> I know nothing about him. They +cropped up under every cap-badge, these crisp, articulate, enlightening +men; they had shaken off their marching feet the dust of every walk in +civil life, and it was only here and there a tenacious speck caught the +eye. I <i>have</i> heard a Southern in Jock's clothing work in a word about +the season-ticket and the 'silk hat' of his City days; but as a rule a +soldier no more thinks of trading upon his civilian past than a small +boy at a Public School dreams of bragging about his people. More than in +any community on earth, the man at the front has to depend upon his own +personality, absolutely without any extraneous aid whatsoever; and the +knowledge that he has to do so is a tremendous sharpener of +individuality.</p> + +<p>Yet your arrant individualist is the last to see it. I remember +recommending <i>The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft</i> to a young man full +of brains and sensibility—one of that Field Ambulance to which, as we +saw it, the description applies in bulk. He came back enthusiastic, as I +knew he would, and we discussed the book. I quarrelled with the passage +in which Gissing rails at the weekly drill in his school playground: +'even after forty years' the memory brought on<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span> a 'tremor of passionate +misery.... The loss of individuality seemed to me sheer disgrace.' My +Red Cross friend applauded the sentiments that I deplored; himself as +individual as a man need be, he assured me that the Army <i>did</i> crush the +individuality out of a man; and when, refraining from the <i>argumentum ad +hominem</i>, I called his attention to many others present who showed no +sign of such subdual, he said at any rate it happened to the weaker men.</p> + +<p>It may: and if a man has no personality of his own, will he be so much +the worse for the composite substitute to be acquired in the Army? +Better an efficient machine than a mere nonentity; but an efficient +machine may be many things besides, and, under the British system, +nearly always is. The truth is that discipline and restriction do not +'crush' the normal personality in the least. They compress it; and +compression is strength. They prevent a man from 'slopping over'; they +conserve his essence. They may not 'make a man' of one who is a man +already, but they do exalt and intensify the quality of manhood; they do +make a good man in that sense better, and a goodish man out of many a +one who has been accounted 'no good' all his life.</p> + +<p>Often when the hut was full of magnificent young life; bodies at their +very best, perfect<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span> instruments in perfect tune; minds inquisitive, +receptive, experienced beyond the dreams of pre-war philosophy, and +honest as minds must be on the brink of Beyond; often and often have I +looked down the hut and compared the splendid fellows I saw before me +with the peace-time types perceptibly represented by so many. Small +tradesmen, clerks, shop assistants, grooms and gardeners, labourers in +every overcrowded field, what they were losing in the softer influences +of life, that one might guess, but what they were gaining all the time, +in mind, body, and character, that one could see. It did not lessen the +heart-break of the thought that perhaps half would never see their homes +again; but it did console with the conviction that the half who survived +would be twice the men they ever would or could have been without the +war. Nay, they were twice their old selves already, if I am any judge of +a man who talks to me. I only know I never foregathered with a couple of +them without feeling that we were all three the harder and yet the +tenderer men for our humble sacrifices, our aching hearts and our +precarious lives. I never looked thoughtfully upon a body of these +younger brothers without thinking of the race to spring from loins so +tried in such a fire. Never—if only because it was the first comfort +that came to mind.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span>But it was not the only one. Here before my eyes, day after day, were +scores of young men not only 'in the pink,' but in better 'form' than +perhaps they themselves suspected; not only intensely alive but +manifestly enjoying life, the corporate life of constant comradeship and +a common if sub-conscious excitement, to an extent impossible for them +to appreciate at the time. They put me in mind of a man I know who +volunteered for South Africa in his athletic youth, and has ever since +been celebrated among his friends for the remark of a lifetime. Somebody +had asked him how he liked the Army. 'The Army?' cried this young +patriot. '<i>Once a soldier, always a civilian!</i>' None the less, he was +one of those I met in France, a Major in the A.S.C., which he had joined +(under a false age) at the beginning of the war. And how many, now the +first to adopt his watchword, would not jump at the chance to emulate +his deed in another fifteen unadventurous years!</p> + +<p>Many, we are told, will anticipate the inconceivable by making their own +adventures, if not their own war on society, such are the brutalising +effects of war! In this proposition there is probably as much as a grain +of truth to a sandhill of imbecility; but we shall hear of that grain on +all sides; the soldier-criminal will be only<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span> too certain of a copious +press, the bombing burglar of his headline. The people we are not going +to hear about, and have no desire to recognise as such, are the rascals +reformed, the weak men strengthened, the prodigals born again in this +war, and at least less likely to die a second death-in-life. With all my +heart I believe that, with few exceptions, the only characters which +will have suffered by the war are those of such youngish men as have +managed to stand out of it to the end, and men of all ages and all +conditions who have failed throughout to put their personal +considerations in their pockets, and left it to other men and other +men's sons to die or bleed for them. I hope they are not more numerous +than the men who have been 'brutalised' by war. At all events there were +no successful shirkers about our huts in France; and that may have made +the atmosphere what it was. All might not have the heart for war; here +and there some sapient head might wag aloof; but at least all had their +lives and bodies in the cause, there were no safe skins, no cold +detachment, no complacent lookers-on. It was an atmosphere of manhood +the more potent for the plain fact that no man regarded himself as such +in any marked degree, or for one moment in the light of a hero.</p> + +<p>That is all I have to say about their heroism.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span> It is an absolute, like +the beauty of Venus or the goodness of God. Daily and hourly they are +rising to heights that keep all the world always wondering—when, +indeed, it does not kill the power of wonderment. But their dead level, +the level on which I saw them every day, lies high enough for me. It is +not only what discipline has done for them, not only what the habit of +sacrifice has made of them, that appeals and must appeal to the older +man privileged to mix with soldiers at the front. It is also the +wonderful quality of his fellow-countrymen as revealed in these +tremendous years. That was there all the time, but it took the war to +show it up, it took the war to make us see it. I might have known that +rough poor lads were reading Ruskin and Carlyle, that a Northamptonshire +shoemaker was as likely as anybody else to be steeped in Charles Lamb, +or a telegraph-clerk and his wife to tramp the Yorkshire dales with +Wordsworth and Keats about their persons. Yet I, for one, more shame for +me! would never have imagined such men if the God of battles had not put +me to school in my Rest Hut for one short half-term.</p> + +<p>Neither could I have invented, at my best or worst, a young City clerk +who played the piano divinely by the hour together, or a very shy young +man, a chemist's assistant from the most<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span> unhallowed suburb, for whom I +had to order Beethoven and Chopin, Liszt and Brahms and Schumann, +because <i>he</i> could play even better, but not from memory. Those two lads +were the joy of the hut, of hundreds who frequented it. And how much joy +had they given in their lodgings or behind the shop? Who had ever been +prouder of them than their comrades, or done so much to 'bring them +out'? Yet, need I say it? they both belonged to that clever, +intellectual, fascinating Field Ambulance to which the Rest Hut owed so +much; and I shouldn't wonder if they both agreed with that other nice +fellow, their thoroughly individual comrade who declared that 'the Army +crushes the individuality out of a man!'</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span></p> + +<h2 class="newchapter"><a name="WE_FALL_TO_RISE" id="WE_FALL_TO_RISE"></a>'WE FALL TO RISE'</h2> + +<p class="date">(<i>March-April, 1918</i>)</p> + + +<h3 class="sectionone"><a name="BEFORE_THE_STORM" id="BEFORE_THE_STORM"></a>BEFORE THE STORM</h3> + +<p>That dramatic month would have been memorable for the weather if for +nothing else. Day after day 'the March sun felt like May,' if ever it +did; and though it dried no hawthorn-spray in the broken heart of our +little old town, and there was neither blade nor petal to watch +a-blowing and a-growing, yet Spring was in our nostrils and we savoured +it the more eagerly for all we knew it must bring forth. Then the +overshadowing ruins took on glorious hues in the keen sunlight, +especially towards evening; the outer grey so warm and soft, like a +mouse's fur; the inner lining, of aged brick, an even softer tone of its +own, neither red nor pink. Day after day a clean sky threw the jagged +peaks into violent relief, and high lights snowed their Matterhorn, +until a sidelong sunset picked the whole chain out with shadows like +falls of ink. It was a sin to spend those afternoons indoors, even in +the Rest Hut, where the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span> two stoves stood idle for days on end, and all +the windows open.</p> + +<p>Then there were the still and starry nights. Then there were the +moonlight nights, not so still, but nothing very dreadful happening our +way. Our big local gun might have gone on tour; at least I seem to +remember many a night when it did not shake us in our beds, when indeed +there was little but the want of sheets and pillow-cases to remind us +that we were not in England, where after all one can hear more guns than +are noticed any longer, and an aeroplane at any hour of the twenty-four. +Many a night there was no more than that to remind us that we were only +just behind the Line.</p> + +<p>Sometimes, as the two of us sat last thing over a nice open fireplace +that had found its way into my room from one of the skeleton houses on +the opposite side of the square, one or other would fall to moralising +upon the past life of the place we had made so much our own. It was a +dutiful effort to remember that the Hôtel de Ville had not always been a +mangled pile, its palisaded courtyard once something other than the site +of a Y.M.C.A. hut. But the reflection failed to haunt us as it might +have done; the present and the living were too absorbing, to say nothing +of the imminent future; and as for the dead past, we had our own. And +yet we<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span> knew from guide-book and album what shining pools of parquet, +what ceilings heavily ornate, what monumental intricacies in wood and +stone, what crystal grandiosities, formed the huge rubbish-heaps between +the mouse-grey walls with the reddish lining: we knew, but it was no use +trying to care. The Hôtel de Ville had finished its course; the Rest Hut +was just getting into its stride. Another chunk off the stump of the +once delicate and dizzy belfry, what did it signify unless the chunk +came through our roof? That was our only anxiety in the matter, and we +debated whether such a chunk would fly so far, or fall straight down as +apparently the rest of the campanile had done before it. My chief mate, +however, wound up every debate with the reiterated conviction that there +would be no German push at all; they were 'not such fools' as to make +one. But for my part I never went to bed without wondering whether that +would be the last of our quiet nights, or a quiet night at all. And +deadly quiet they had grown; even the rats no longer disturbed us; every +one of them had departed, and for no adequate reason within our +knowledge. Even the sceptic of a mate had something trite but sinister +to say about 'a sinking ship.' ...</p> + +<p>One afternoon, two days before the date on which most people seemed to +expect things to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span> happen, a harbinger arrived as I sat perched behind +the counter. We were not long open; most of the men present were +clustered round the newspaper table; you really could have heard some +pins drop. That was why, for a second or two, I did hear something I had +never heard before, and have no wish to hear again. It sounded exactly +like a miniature aeroplane approaching at phenomenal speed. I was just +beginning to wonder what it was when there followed the most +extraordinary crash. Not an explosion; not a breakage; but the loud flat +smack a dining-table might make if you hauled it up to a ceiling by its +castors and let it fall perfectly evenly upon a bare floor. It was the +roof, however, that had been hit.</p> + +<p>We went out to look, and one of the men picked up a fragment of shell, +only about three inches long and less than an inch wide. That was my +table-top. The jagged edge of it glittered as though incrusted with tiny +brilliants; but the fragment was quite cold, showing that it had +travelled far since the burst. 'One of our Archies,' said most of the +men; but the Rest Hut orderly, who wore a Gunner badge said laconically: +'Fritz—range-finding!' He was borne out by a High Commander who +honoured me with a visit some days later. I believe it was the first bit +of German stuff that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span> had found its way into the middle of the town +since the previous November; and a very interesting and effective little +entry it made, in the quietest hour of one of those uncannily quiet +days, and in the precincts of what we flattered ourselves was the +quietest hut on any front. But the funny (and rather disappointing) +thing was that it had failed to leave so much as its mark upon our roof. +It must have skimmed the apex and glanced off the downward slope—convex +side down—as a stone glances off a pond. 'The little less,' and it +would have drilled the reverse slope like a piece of paper. I have often +thought of that cluster of forage caps, under the silky skylights, round +the central table; but what I shall always hear, plainer than the +terrific smack that left no mark, is that first little singing whirr as +of a dwarf propeller of gigantic power. I think that must be the most +sickening sound of all under heavy shell-fire in the open.</p> + +<p>Next day was the eve of the expected attack, which did not in point of +fact take place for another week and more; but how widespread was the +expectation we learnt for ourselves by our own small signs and portents. +A dozen francs were refunded on a dozen books whose borrowers were +afraid they would have no more time just then to read another; but when +it all blew over for that week, back they came with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span> their deposits, and +out went more books than ever. The mate was jubilant. Of course there +had been no German attack; and never would be; they were not such fools! +Nor was he by any means alone in his opinion; many officers—but enough! +We were not, to be sure, by way of meeting many officers. And yet +Wednesday, March 20th, brought two to my room whose respective +deliverances are worth remembering in the light of subsequent events.</p> + +<p>One was the Gunner who had given me steak and onions on our All +Uppingham day in the dark depths of the earth. He was as cheery as if he +had been making another century in the Old Boys' Match, instead of +having just gone on with his heavies on a new pitch altogether. It was +going to suit him. He felt like getting wickets. And the Pavilion was +not a dug-out this time; it was an elephant, in which the Major and he +could put me up any night I liked. Why not that night? He had come in a +car; he could take me back with him.</p> + +<p>Why not, I sometimes wonder to this day! There were good, there were +even creditable, reasons; but, beyond the fact that I was now much +attached to my counter, I honestly forget what they were. I only know +that my hospitable friend's new wicket was one of the first to be +overrun by a field-grey mob; and though<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span> the Major and he are still +enjoying rude health on the right side of the Line, and it goes without +saying that they left the ground with becoming dignity, I am afraid I +should have been out of place in the procession. Exciting moments I must +have had, but I should have been sorry to play Anchises to my friend's +Æneas. And I was to have my little moments as it was.</p> + +<p>My other visitor was, curiously, another cricketer, whom I had first +seen bowling in the University match at Lord's. It is not his department +of the greater game; nor do I intend to compromise this officer by means +of any further clue; for he it was who informed me that the push was +really coming before morning. 'So they say,' he smiled, and we passed on +to matters of more immediate interest. Time enough to be interested in +the push when it did come; from all reports I was likely to find myself +in the stalls, and he of course would be on the stage. So that was that. +In the meantime I had a great fixture arranged and billed for the +Saturday evening. An old friend was coming over from the Press Château +to lecture in the Rest Hut, for the first time on any platform; there +were to be seats for all our other friends, officers and men, and some +supper in my room for half-a-dozen of us and the lecturer. It was of +this we talked, and probably of pre-war cricket, and my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span> beloved men, +over the last quiet tea I was to have there. Books went out very freely +till we closed. <i>With Our Faces to the Light</i>, <i>Heroes and +Hero-Worship</i>, <i>The Supreme Test</i>, and <i>Our Life after Death</i>, were +among the last half-dozen titles!</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="ANOTHER_OPENING_DAY" id="ANOTHER_OPENING_DAY"></a>ANOTHER OPENING DAY</h3> + +<p>... It did not wake me up till four or five in the morning. Then I knew +it had begun. The row was incessant rather than tremendous; not nearer +than it had often been, when that big local gun was at home, but +indubitably different. Some supplementary sound followed most of the +reports, as the receding swish of a shattered breaker follows the first +crash. I guessed what it was, but I wanted to be sure. I wanted to ask +the mate, on the other side of the partition behind my head; but I +didn't want to wake him up on purpose. The only unnerved man I met in +France, one of our workers whose railway-carriage had been blown in by a +bomb on the last stage of his journey from the coast, had awakened the +man in the next bed for company's sake the night after. He was brave +enough to own it. <i>I</i> wanted company, but I had not the hardihood to +sing out for it until I heard a movement through the partition.</p> + +<p>The mate, of course, did not believe it was the push; but he confessed +it sounded the sort of thing one would expect to hear if the Germans +were fools enough to make a push. It sounded<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span> like rather distant +thunder, with sporadic claps in the middle distance. I smoked a pipe +with my <i>Spectator</i> before trying for some more sleep, and was just +dropping off when our orderly arrived with jaunty tread.</p> + +<p>'It's Fritz,' said he, with sardonic unconcern. 'You can hear the houses +coming down.'</p> + +<p>And there followed the tale of damage done so far.</p> + +<p>I am afraid we were both up with the wind, if not with the sun. But we +shaved without bloodshed; for it is remarkable how a shell-burst can +fail to jog your elbow, or to spill your tea, when you have been +educated up to that type of disturbance. We had grown so used to guns in +the night that the quiet nights were the uncanny ones; and even they +were generally punctuated first or last by a comfortable bang from the +local heavy; the 'All's Well!' of that night-watchman, which, if it woke +us up, only encouraged us to go to sleep again with an increased sense +of security. A shell-burst at a decent distance sounded much the same +for the first—and only startling—second. And all that morning, and +generally throughout the day, they kept their distance with quite +unexpected decency.</p> + +<p>But they did sing over our heads; they did keep the blue above us vocal +with their shrill,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span> whining cries; it was astounding to look up into the +unruffled heavens and see no trace of their course. As one gazed, the +crash came in the streets a few hundred yards away; and often after the +crash, by an interval of seconds, a noise as of some huge cart shooting +its rubbish. Somebody said it was like a great lash whistling over us +and cracking amid the herd of living houses just beyond. It really was; +and what followed was the groan as yet another piece was taken out of +the palpitating town.</p> + +<p>Two things came home to us while the day was young. It was biggish stuff +that was coming in, at a longish range; and it was coming in on +business, not on pleasure. Its business was to feel for barracks, +batteries, and other sound investments for valuable munitions; not to +have a sporting flutter here, there, and everywhere; much less to +indulge in the sheer luxury of pestling a ruined area to powder. If or +when they made some ground, and brought up their field-guns, it would be +a different matter; then it might pay them to keep us skipping in all +parts of the town at once; but, for the present, we in our part were in +quite ignoble security—unless Fritz lost his strength! We had, however, +to remember that we were in a straight line between wicket and wicket; +nor did his singing deliveries give us much chance of forgetting the +fact.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span>News was not long in reaching us from less fortunate localities. The +station was catching it; and we had a busy hut all but adjoining the +station. We looked upon our comrades at the Station Hut with mingled +envy and commiseration, when one or two of them dropped in to recount +their adventures and escapes. A short-pitched one had killed four +officers in the street in their direction. And it so happened that +business took me to the spot during the course of the morning.</p> + +<p>It would be idle to pretend it was an enjoyable expedition. A friend +went with me; we wore our shrapnel helmets, and everybody we met was +wearing his. That alone gave the streets an altered appearance; +otherwise everything wore its normal aspect; the March sun was more like +May than ever, the sky more innocently blue, the cool light hand of +spring softer and more caressing. On the way we met two chaplains of the +Guards, who gave us details of the tragedy; on its scene we saw clean +wounds on the stone facing of a house, the chipped places standing out +in the strong sunlight, but did not investigate too closely. Two of the +officers had been standing in the doorway, two crossing the open space +we skirted; two had been killed outright, and two were dying or dead of +their wounds. Shells whistled continuously as we<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span> walked, but not one +burst before our eyes.</p> + +<p>On my return the mate and I had a look at a dungeon under the Town Hall, +as a possible sleeping-place. It was part of an underground system for +which the town was famous. One could walk for miles, from chamber to +chamber, as one can crawl from cell to cell in the foundations of most +big houses. We had long talked of going to ground there, with all our +books, in the day of battle; and now we viewed provisional sites, though +only one of us allowed that the day had dawned.</p> + +<p>'This is not the push,' I was stoutly assured. 'This is only a feint, +man. They are not such fools ...'</p> + +<p>After lunch we opened to the bang and whistle of our own guns, for a +change. The sacred mid-day meal was never followed up by enemy gun-fire +in my hearing; the time-table obviously included a methodical siesta, +which it was our daily delight to spoil. Not that my Rest Hut crowd +betrayed much pleasure in the proceedings; for once, indeed, I could not +help thinking them rather a stolid lot. There they sat as usual under +the sunny skylights, dredging the day's news as though it were the one +uninteresting thing in the hut, or playing dominoes and draughts, like a +nurseryful of unnaturally good children. It is difficult to describe +their demeanour. To<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span> say that they looked as though nothing was +happening is to imply a studied unconcern; and there was certainly +nothing studied on their side of the counter; on ours, it seemed as if +the Rest Hut had only needed this external din to make it really +restful.</p> + +<p>'Our friend Jerry's a bit saucy this morning,' said the emissary of a +sick Sergeant who sent for a fresh Maurice Hewlett every day that week. +It was the first comment of the afternoon on the day's events. 'Our +friend Jerry' had risen from his siesta and was giving us whistle and +bang for our bang and whistle; and still every shot sounded plumb over +the hut. It was like the middle of a tennis-court during a hard rally; +but I never heard anybody suggest that either side might hit into the +net.</p> + +<p>Then, I remember, came a new-comer, a husky lad with a poisoned wrist.</p> + +<p>'Gimme one o' them books.'</p> + +<p>I had my formula in such cases.</p> + +<p>'Who is your favourite author?'</p> + +<p>'Don't know as I have one; gimme any good yarn.'</p> + +<p>'What's the best yarn you ever read?'</p> + +<p>'I don't often read one.'</p> + +<p>'The last you did read?'</p> + +<p>Lost in the mists. I set <i>The Hound of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span> Baskervilles</i> on him, and +saw him well bitten by the book before the afternoon was out or the +bombardment by way of abating. There was no tea-interval on the other +side, that I remember; but we had ours as usual in my room, and it was +either that afternoon or the next that an eminent Oxford professor, out +on a lecturing tour, gave us his company. He was delightfully interested +in the library, and spent most of the afternoon behind the counter, +making out a list of books he talked of sending us, chatting with the +men, and endearing himself to us all. I daresay he was the oldest man +who had ever entered the hut; but I still see him perched on top of our +little home-made step-ladder, in overcoat and muffler and soft felt hat, +while the shells burst nearer, or at any rate made more noise, as the +day drew in. Book in hand, and a kindly, interested, quizzical smile +upon his face, the professor looked either as though he never heard one +of them, or as though he had heard little else all his life. He cheered +one more than the cheeriest soldier, for his was not the insensibility +of usage, but the selfless preoccupation of a lofty soul.</p> + +<p>Earlier in the week I had accepted an invitation to dine that evening +with a mess at the other end of the town. It was quite the wrong end for +dinner at such a time; it was the end<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span> where the German shells were +feeling about for things worth smashing. They kept skimming across the +streets as I found my way through the dusk, and ours came skimming back; +it was the tennis-court again, but this time one seemed to be crossing +it on gigantic stilts, head and shoulders above the chimney-pots. But +nothing happened. It was a seasoned mess, all padres and doctors, to the +best of my recollection; and they gave one a confidence more welcome +than all their conscious hospitality. I enjoy my evening immensely—as I +look back.</p> + +<p>There was a window at each end of the dinner-table. No sooner were we +seated than there occurred outside one of these windows about the +loudest explosion I ever heard. No chair was pushed back, and I am bound +to say that was the end of it; they said it was further off than I can +yet believe. They also seemed to think it was a bomb. There I trusted +they were right. Bombs cannot go on falling on or even about the same +place. But in fifteen minutes to the tick we had the same thing outside +the other window. This time the glass came tinkling down, and it was +thought worth while to inquire whether there were any casualties in the +kitchen. There were none: no doubt some chair <i>would</i> have been pushed +back if the answer had been in the affirmative.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span>And that was all, except a great deal of shell-talk, and comparison of +hair-breadth escapes, between my two hosts (both of whom had borne +charmed lives—but who has not, out there?) when the rest were gone, and +a shower of stuff in the soft soil of the garden as I was going myself. +Perhaps 'shower' is too strong a word; but one of the many things I can +still hear is the whizz and burial of at least one lethal fragment close +beside us in the dark. The kind pair insisted on walking back with me, +and were strong in their advice to me to seek a cellar for the night. +This being their own intention, and the idea that I found in the mind of +my mate on regaining the Rest Hut, he and I spent the next hour in +transferring our beds and bedding to the dungeon aforesaid, where I for +one slept all the better for the soothing croon of shells high overhead +in waking intervals.</p> + +<p>It was officially computed that over eight hundred large shells arrived +in our little town that day, the historic 21st March, 1918.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="THE_END_OF_A_BEGINNING" id="THE_END_OF_A_BEGINNING"></a>THE END OF A BEGINNING</h3> + +<p>Two capital nights we passed in our ideal dungeon. It was deep yet dry, +miraculously free from rats, and so very heavily vaulted, so tucked away +under tons of débris, and yet so protected by the standing ruins, that +it was really difficult to imagine the projectile that could join the +party. There was, to be sure, a precipitous spiral staircase to the +upper air, but even it did not descend straight into our lair. Still, a +direct hit on the stairs would have been unpleasant; but one ran as much +risk of a direct hit by lightning in peace-time. It seems indecent to +gloat over a safety verging on the ignoble at such a time; but those two +nights it was hard to help it; and the dim morning light upon the warm +brick arches, bent like old shoulders under centuries of romance, added +an appeal not altogether to the shrinking flesh.</p> + +<p>The day between had been very like the first day. I thought the +bombardment a shade less violent; but worse news was always coming in. +Far fewer books were taken out, far fewer men had their afternoon to +themselves, but only too many were their tales of bloodshed, especially +on the outskirts of the town. They told them<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span> simply, stoically, even +with the smile that became men whose turn it might be next; but the +smile stopped short at the lips. Still worse hearing was the fall of +village after village in sectors all too near our own; and yet more +sinister rumours came from the far south. Our greatest anxieties were +naturally nearest home, and our chief comfort the unruffled faces of +such officers as passed our way. 'He seems to be meeting with some +success, too!' as one vouchsafed from his saddle, after an opening in +the style of the gentleman who was still demanding Hewletts for his +Sergeant.</p> + +<p>The second night we had a third cellarman, leader of one of the outlying +huts now being abandoned every day. Almost hourly our headquarters were +filling up with refugee workers flushed with their sad adventures; but +this young fellow had been through more than most; a man had been killed +in his hut, and he himself was in the last stages of exhaustion. He had +been fast asleep when we descended from the turmoil for our night of +peace; and fast asleep I left him in the morning, little thinking that +most of us had spent our last night in the neighbourhood.</p> + +<p>It was another of those brilliant days we shall remember every March +that we may live to see. The devil's choristers were still singing +through the blue above, still thundering their own applause<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span> in the +doomed quarter of the town. Yet to stand blinking in the keen sunlight, +snuffing the pure invigorating air, was to vote the whole thing weak and +unconvincing. The picturesque ruins were not real ruins. The noises were +not the noises of a real bombardment; they were too simple and too +innocuous, one had heard them better done upon the stage. It seemed +particularly impossible that anything could happen to me, for instance, +at the head of my cellar stairs, or to the very immaculate Jocks' Padre +picking his way towards me, over a mound of last year's ruins, to us as +old as any other hill.</p> + +<p>But it was that Padre who struck the sinister note at once. What were we +going to do? Do! His meaning was not clear to me; he made it clear +without delay. His Jocks—<i>our</i> Jocks—the rocks of my military +faith!—had gone away back. Divisional Headquarters, at all events, had +shifted out of that; it was the same with the other Divisions in the +Corps, the Padre thought; and he took it we should all be ordered back +if we didn't go! A place with a ridge had been taken by the enemy, who +had only to get his field-guns up—and that was only a question of +hours—to make the town a great deal unhealthier than it was already.</p> + +<p>I was horrified. It was the one thing I had never contemplated, being +turned out of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span> little old town! After all, it had been an +unhealthier spot a year ago than it yet threatened to become again. A +year ago the very Line had curled through its narrow rim of suburbs; and +yet the troops had stuck to the town; there had been cellarage for all, +barricades in streets swept by machine-guns, and a Y.M.C.A. hut run by a +valiant veteran through thick and thin. One or two of us, at least, had +been prepared for the same thing over again, <i>plus</i> our Rest Cave and +all our books at a safe depth underground. That prospect had thrilled +and fascinated; the one now foreshadowed seemed too black to come true.</p> + +<p>But at breakfast we had it officially from the mere boy (from a Public +School, however) in local charge of the lot of us. We had better get +packed; it would be safer; but he hoped, perhaps more heartily than any +of us, that the extremity in view would not arise. So we pulled out +kit-bags and suit-cases of which we had forgotten the sight—and my +jolly little room never looked itself again. No room does, once you +start packing the belongings that made it what it was; but I never hated +that hateful job so much in all my life. Nor did I ever do it +worse—which is saying even more. Two days and nights under continuous +shell-fire, even when it is only the music of those spheres that he +hears<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span> incessantly, does find a man out in one way or another. My way +was forgetfulness and, I fear, a certain irritability. There are some of +my most cherished little possessions that I shall never see again, and a +good friend or so with whom I fear I was a trifle gruff. I hope they +have forgiven me. But a shell-burst may be easier to bear than a +pointless question, especially when you are asking one or two yourself.</p> + +<p>At lunch-time the A.P.M. sent in for me. I found him outside in the sun, +with the D.A.A. and Q.M.G., I think it was—both of them very grave and +business-like in their shrapnel helmets, their gas-masks hooked up under +their chins. They, too, wanted to know what we proposed to do; they, +too, explained exactly why the town would presently become no place for +any of us. But it was not for me to speak for the other workers, who by +this time were most of them on the spot; we were all as sheep in the +absence of our Public School shepherd, who had gone off in the Ford to +seek instructions at Area Headquarters. Some of them, indeed, took the +opportunity of speaking for themselves; and who had a better right? It +may be only my impression that we all had a good deal to say at the same +time: I know I voiced my dream about the Rest Cave. The official faces +were not encouraging; indeed, they put their dis<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span>couragement in words +open to an ominous construction. They did not say Janiculum was lost, +but they left us perhaps deservedly uneasy on the point.</p> + +<p>And it was all idiotically, if not shamefully, exasperating! Those heavy +shells still raining into the town; untold pain and damage ensuing every +minute; the town-crier with his bell even then upon his rounds, warning +civilians to evacuate; little parties of them already under way, here a +toothless old lady in her Sunday weeds, a dignified old gentleman +pushing a superannuated perambulator full of household gods, a prancing +terrier loving the sad excitement of it all; and a man old enough to +know better thinking only of his makeshift hut, hardly at all about +their lifelong homes compulsorily abandoned in their poor old age, yet +with a step so proud and so unfaltering! The perambulator, perhaps, was +now a nobler and a sadder treasure than any it contained. But just then +the hut was home and treasure-house to me; filled day by day with hearts +of gold and souls of iron; and now what would become of it and them!</p> + +<p>For the first time since the first day of all, nobody was there when we +opened; but presently a handful drifted in, as unconcerned as the +terrier in the road, but without a symptom of the dog's ingenuous +excitement. What was it to them if<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span> the day was big with all our fates! +It would not be their first big day; but it was not their day at all +just yet, whatever it might be to us. To them it was still a May day +come in March, the air was still charged with the fulness of life, and +the hut with all that they had found in it hitherto. It was only to us, +in our narrow, keen experience, that everything was spoilt, or spoiling +before our eyes.</p> + +<p>'It's too good a day to waste in war,' said one of them across an idle +counter.</p> + +<p>It was not his first utterance recorded in these notes; and there seemed +a touch of affectation about it. But he was one of the clever lot I +liked, and what I thought his self-consciousness only drew us closer; +for I defy you to live under shell-fire, for the first time, without +thinking of yourself, and what the next moment may mean to you—and what +the moment after—at the back of your mind. It is another thing when +your hands are full. But the peculiar traffic at our counter had +dwindled steadily during the bombardment. And it had lost even more in +character than in bulk. Impossible, at least for me, to keep up the +tacit pretence that a book was more important than a battle; it had +taken our visitor from Oxford (whom I suspect of an eager assent to the +proposition) to turn a really deaf ear to the song and crash of high +explosive.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span> Mine was hardened, but it heard everything; my mind employed +itself on each report; and for the last two days the men and I had been +talking War.</p> + +<p>But to this young man I talked about his friends whom I might never see +again. He had brought back a bundle of their books, and in their names +he thanked me for my 'kindness' to them: as if it were all on one side! +As if they had not, all of them, done more for me than I for them! They +were doing things up to the end; bringing back their books, at their +plain inconvenience, on their way to the forefront of the fight; even +bringing me, to the eleventh hour, their little offerings of books, the +last tokens of their good-will.</p> + +<p>It was hard to tell them we were closing down, it might be only for a +day or two; harder still to say what one felt without striking an +unhelpful note; and I took no risks. We could only refuse their money +all the afternoon, entertain them as best we could, and pack them off +with a hand-grip and 'Good luck!'</p> + +<p>There was trouble, too, behind the scenes. Our dear old Madame was one +of those for whom the town-crier had rung a knell; by half-past three +she must be out of house, home, and native place. But it was not the +shipwreck of her simple life that brought the poor soul in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span> tears to the +hut. All the world knows how the homely French take the personal +tragedies of war, with the national shrug and a dry eye for their share +of the national burden; and Madame was French to her finger-tips. She +was therefore an artist, who put her hand to nothing she was not minded +to finish as creditably as the good God would let her. Think, then, of +her innocent shame at having to deliver our week's laundry wringing wet +from the mangle! It was the last mortification; and all our +protestations were powerless to assuage the sting to her sensibilities. +As for her helpmate, our orderly, for all his capabilities he had never +replaced the two heroes of the other hut in my affections; and at this +juncture he had managed to get a little drunk. But from information +since received one can only wonder it did not happen oftener; for the +man had tragedy in his life, and his story would be the most dramatic in +these pages had I the heart to tell it. By us he had done more than his +duty, and for the hut almost as much as Madame herself. The last sight +of each was saddening, and yet a part of the closing scenes, as the pair +had been part of our lives.</p> + +<p>By half-past five the Y.M.C.A. men had their orders: all to evacuate +except four of the youngest or strongest, who might stay for the present +to help with the walking wounded. Only too<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span> naturally, the Rest Hut was +not represented among the chosen. But permission was given us to remain +open another hour; and there were perhaps a dozen readers under the +still sunny skylights to the end. It went hardest of all to tell them +they would have to go. Two or three looked up from the papers to ask in +dismay about their lecture. I had forgotten there was to have been a +lecture; but here were these children waiting to take their places for +the promised treat, and more came later. Nothing all day had illustrated +quite so graphically the difference between their point of view and +ours; to them bursting shells, falling houses, and emptying town were +all in the day's work. They had to carry on just the same; it was more +than distasteful to be obliged to point out that we could not. The +lecturer, I said, if he was still alive, would be in the thick of things +by this time. That went home; he is the man they all read, the man who +has sung the praises of the private soldier with an understanding +enthusiasm unsurpassed by any war correspondent in any war. A week +earlier the hut would have been full to bursting; it shall burst if they +like one night this winter—all being better than that Saturday in +March—and a war still on!</p> + +<p>A regular patron of our Quiet Room Evenings, an oldish man with a fine +scorn stamped upon<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span> his hard-bitten face, said one or two things I +valued the more as coming from him, though I doubt if we had exchanged a +dozen words before. I shook his hand, and all their hands, as they went +out. They were pleased with us for having kept open a day longer than +any of the other huts. I hope I said the other huts had been closed by +order; but I only remember wanting to say a great deal more, and +thinking better of it. After all, we had understood each other in that +hut to a degree beyond the need of heavy speeches.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="THE_ROAD_BACK" id="THE_ROAD_BACK"></a>THE ROAD BACK</h3> + +<p>There was a strange lull in the firing, and no meal-time to account for +it, as I carried the baggage over piecemeal to our headquarters off the +opposite end of the little square. The mate was doubtless busy relieving +me of my final responsibilities in the matter of stores or accounts; at +any rate I remember those two or three halting journeys with his light +and my heavy kit. The sun was setting in a slight haze, as though the +air were full of gold-dust. The shadows of the crippled houses lay at +full length in the square. The big guns were strangely still; their +field-guns were taking them a good long time to mount upon the captured +ridge. I made my final trip, turned in under the arch at headquarters, +where the little Ford 'bus was waiting for the last of us, and +incidentally for my last and lightest load. I had not put it in when +those infernal field-guns got going.</p> + +<p>I do not know what happened in other parts of the town. It seems +unlikely that they opened fire on our part in particular, but as I stood +talking in a glass passage there came a whirlwind whizz over the low +roofs, a crack and a cloud in the adjoining courtyard, and, as I turned<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span> +back under the arch, another whizz and another bang in the street I had +just quitted. So I would have sworn in perfect faith; and for several +minutes the street was full of acrid smoke, to bear me out. But it seems +the second burst was <i>in</i> the next house, or in the next but one. All I +can say is that both occurred within about fifteen paces of the spot +where I stood as safe as the house that covered me. And yet the soldiers +tell you they prefer shell-fire in the open! With great respect, I shall +stick up for the devil I know.</p> + +<p>But what has interested me ever since is the hopelessness of expecting +two persons to give anything like the same account of a violent +experience which has taken them both equally by surprise. Nor is it +necessary to go gadding about the front in order to test this particular +proposition; try any couple who have been in the same motor accident. It +must be done at once, before they have time to compare notes; indeed, +they should be kept apart like suspect witnesses in a court. Suspicion +will be amply vindicated in nine cases out of ten; for the impression of +any accident upon any mind depends on the state of that mind at the +time, on the impressions already there, and on its imaginative quality +at any time. Hence the totally different versions of the same event +from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span> three or four equally truthful persons. A boy I had known all his +life was killed just before I went out: three honest witnesses gave +three contradictory descriptions of the tragedy. Two of the three were +all but eye-witnesses, and C. of E. chaplains at that! No wonder we +argued about our beggarly brace of shells. The chief mate (last to leave +the ship, by the way) heard three, and a fourth as we drove away in the +Ford. My powers of registration were only equal to the two described.</p> + +<p>It was good to be high and dry in the little 'bus, though it would have +been better with as much as the horn to blow to keep one's mind out of +mischief. Our driver was a fine man wearing the South African and 1914 +ribbons. Invalided out, he had wormed his way back to France in the +Y.M.C.A.; but it was a soldier's job he did again that night, and for +days and nights to follow. Once a shell burst in his path and smashed +the radiator; he plugged it up with wood and kept her going. It is +provoking to be obliged to add that I was not in the car at the time.</p> + +<p>Nor did I thoroughly enjoy every minute of the hours I spent in it that +Saturday night; there was far too much occasion both for pangs and +fears. Though we had kept open longer than any other hut, and everybody +else (who was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span> going) had left the town before us, yet the rest had gone +on foot and it seemed a villainy to pass them plodding in the stream of +refugees outside the town. It is true they all boarded lorries at the +earliest opportunity, and actually reached our common haven before us; +but that did not make our performance less inglorious at the time. Nor +had we any extenuating adventures on the way. The road, we understood, +was being heavily shelled; unless the enemy slumbered and slept, it was +bound to be; but I for one saw nothing of it. The Ford hood reduced the +landscape to a few yards of moonlit track, and the Ford engine drowned +all other noises of the night. But there was the perpetual apprehension +of that which never once occurred. Wherever we stopped, it had been +occurring freely. One of our huts, some kilometres out, was ringed with +huge shell-holes; but none were added during the interminable time we +waited in the road, while business was being transacted with which three +of the four of us had nothing to do. I do not know which was greater, +the relief of getting under way again, or the shame of leaving the crew +of that hut to their fate.</p> + +<p>Yet we had but to forget our own miserable skins and sensibilities, to +remember we were only on-lookers, and be thankful to be there that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span> +night in any capacity whatsoever. For the straight French road whereon +we travelled—the wrong way, for our sins!—was choked with strings of +lorries and motor-'buses full of reinforcements for the battle-line; +silent men, miles and miles of them, mostly invisible, load after load; +all embussed, not a single company to be seen upon the march. It was +weird, but it was gorgeous: the tranquil moon above, the tossing dust +below, and these tall landships, packed with fighting-men, looming +through by the hundred. This one, we kept saying, must be the last; but +scarcely were we abreast, grazing her side, craning to make out the men +behind her darkened ports, than another ship-load broke dimly through +the dust, to tower above us in its turn.</p> + +<p>Thousands and thousands of gallant hearts! Sometimes the men themselves +fretted the top of a familiar 'bus—of course in khaki like its +load—but for the most part they were out of sight inside. And—it may +have been the drowning thud of their great engines, the noisier racket +of our own—but not a human sound can I remember first or last. So they +passed, speeding to the rescue; so they passed, how many to their +reward! Louder than our throbbing engines, and louder than the guns they +deadened, the fighting blood of England sang that night<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span> through all +these arteries of France; and our own few drops danced with our tears, +hurt as it might to rush by upon the other side.</p> + +<p>What with one stoppage and another, and always going against the stream +of heavy traffic, the thirty or forty kilometres must have taken us +three or four hours; and there, as I was saying, were our poor +pedestrians in port before us. It dispelled anxiety, if it did no more. +But there was no end to our mean advantages; for the good easy men were +making their beds upon the bare boards of the local Y.M.C.A., where we +found them with the refugees from yet another group of forsaken huts, +some eighty souls in all. They assured us there were no beds to be had +in the place, that the Town Major had commandeered every mattress. But a +cunning and influential veteran whispered another story in my private +ear; and on the understanding that his surreptitious arrangements should +include the mate of the Rest Hut, we adjourned with our friend in need +to the best hotel in the town, whence after supper we were conducted to +a still better billet. Here were not only separate beds, with sheets on +them, but separate rooms with muslin curtains, marbled wash-stands, +clocks and mirrors. It was true we had been forced to leave our heavy +baggage at headquarters in our own poor town; and there had not been<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span> +room in my despatch-case for any raiment for the night. But that was +because I had refused to escape without my library records, whatever +else was left behind. And the extensive contact with cool linen could +not lessen the glow of virtue, on that solitary head, with which I +stretched myself out in comfort inconceivable fifteen hours before.</p> + +<p>The day, beginning with the shock received from the Scottish Padre at +the head of the dungeon stairs, had been packed with surprise, +disappointment, irritation, mortal apprehension and emotion more varied +than any day of mine had ever yet brought forth. But I was physically +tired out, and a great deal more stolid about it all that night than I +feel now, six months after the event. The silence, I remember, was the +only thing that troubled me, after those three days and nights of almost +incessant shell-fire. But it was a joyous trouble—while it lasted. +Hardly had I closed my eyes upon the moonlit muslin curtains, when I +woke with a start to that unaltered scene. The only difference was the +slightly irregular hum of an enemy aeroplane, and the noise of bombs +bursting all too near our perfect billet.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="IN_THE_DAY_OF_BATTLE" id="IN_THE_DAY_OF_BATTLE"></a>IN THE DAY OF BATTLE</h3> + +<p>It was not my first acquaintance with the town, nor yet with the hotel +to which our billet was affiliated. I had been there on a book-raid in +better days. It was in that hotel I found the hero of the apopthegm: +'Once a soldier—always a civilian!' And now its dismal saloons were +overflowing with essential civilians who might have been soldiers all +their lives; only here and there could one detect a difference; all +seemed equally imbued with the traditional nonchalance of the British +officer in a tight place. But for their uniform, and their martial +carriage, they might have been a festive gathering of the Old Boys of +any Public School.</p> + +<p>After breakfast we others sallied forth. The sun was still prematurely +hot. The uninjured street was full not only of khaki, but of the +townsfolk of both sexes, a new element to us in any but rare glimpses. +Their Sunday faces betrayed no sign of special anxiety. The bells were +tinkling peacefully for mass as we crossed the little river flowing +close behind the backs of the houses, and climbed the grassy height on +which the citadel stands bastioned. A party of British soldiers was +camped in its chill shadow; many were washing at the stream below, +their<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span> bodies white as milk between their trousers and their sunburnt +necks. Some, I think, were actually bathing. They did not look like the +battered remnant of a grand Battalion. Yet that was what they were.</p> + +<p>We foregathered with one chip from the modern battle-axe: a Sergeant and +old soldier who had been through all the war and through South Africa. +The last three days beat all. There had never been anything to touch +them. Masses had melted before his eyes. There they were, as thick as +corn, one minute, and the next they lay in swathes, and the next again +the swathes were one continuous stack of dead. The illustration was the +Sergeant's, and I know the fine rolling countryside he got it from; but +it was not the burden of his yarn. This came in so often, with an effect +so variable, that I was puzzled, knowing the perverse levity of the +type.</p> + +<p>'No nation can stand it,' were the exact words more than once. 'No +nation that ever was, can go on standing it.'</p> + +<p>'Do you mean——?'</p> + +<p>But I saw he didn't! The whites of his eyes were like an inner ring of +brick-red skin, but it was their blue that flamed with sardonic humour.</p> + +<p>'I mean the Germans!' cried he. 'No nation on earth can go on standing +what they had to stand yesterday and the day before. It's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span> not in human +nature to go on standing it. I don't say as we didn't get it too....'</p> + +<p>Nor could he, while telling us what the remnant in the tents and on the +river-bank represented; but all such information was imparted in the +tone of a man making an admission for the sake of argument or fair play. +If I remember, the Sergeant had two wound-stripes under his pile of +service chevrons. But he had borne more lives than a squad of cats. +'Each time I find I'm all right, I just shake 'ands with myself and +carry on.' We got him to shake hands with us, and so parted with a +diamond in human form.</p> + +<p>Along the road below came the rag-time of a mediocre band; we hurried +down and stood in a gateway to review a company of Australians marching +into the town. This string of jewels was still unscattered by the fight, +of the same high water as our south-country Sergeant, only different in +cut and polish, if not of set sarcastic purpose. They were marching in +their own way; no stride or swing about it; but a more subtle +jauntiness, a kind of mincing strut, perhaps not unconsciously sinister +and unconventional, an aggressive part of themselves. But what men! What +beetling chests, what muscle-swollen sleeves, what dark, pugnacious, +shaven faces! Here and there a pendulous moustache mourned the beard of +some bushman of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</a></span> old school; but no such adventitious aids could +have improved upon the naked truculence of most of those mouths and +chins. In their supercilious confidence they reminded me of the early +Australian cricketers, of beardless Blackham, Boyles and Bonnors taking +the field to mow down the flower of English cricket, in the days when +those were our serious wars. How I had hated the type as a schoolboy +sitting open-mouthed and heart-broken at the Oval! How I had feared it +as a hobble-de-hoy in the bush itself! But, in the day of battle, could +there have been a better sight than this potential band of bush-rangers +and demon bowlers? Not to my glasses; nor one more bitter for the mate +of the Rest Hut, thrice rejected from those very ranks.</p> + +<p>We wandered idly in their wake; and the next sight that I remember, +though it may not have been that morning, was almost as cheering in its +very different way. It was the spectacle of a single German prisoner, +being marched through the streets by a single British soldier with fixed +bayonet. The prisoner was an N.C.O., and a fine defiant brute, marching +magnificently just to show us. But his was not the hate that conceals +hate; he was the incarnation of the ineffable hymn, with his +quick-firing eyes and the high angle of his powerful chin. Physically +our man could not compare with him. And<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</a></span> that seemed symbolical, at a +moment when signs and symbols were in some request.</p> + +<p>Then there were the men one had met before. Congested as it was with +traffic to and from the fighting, this little town was even more a +rendezvous for old acquaintance than the one from which we had beaten +our compulsory retreat. I was always running into somebody I had known +of old or through his people. One glorious young man, who had been much +upon my mind, came into the restaurant where we were having lunch on the +Tuesday. His eyes were clear but strained, his ears loaded with yellow +dust that toned artistically with his skin and hair. He said he had had +his first sleep for five nights—under a railway arch. Before the war he +had been up at Cambridge, and a very eminent Blue; if I said what he had +it for, and what ribbon he was wearing now, I might as well break my +rule and name him outright. But there had been three big brothers, then; +now there was only this one left—and at one time not much of him. It +did my heart good to see him here—looking as if he had never known a +day's illness, or the pain of wounds or grief—looking a young god if +there was one in France that day.</p> + +<p>But it was not only for his own or for his family's sake that the mere +sight of this splendid fellow was such a joy. The things he stood for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span> +were more precious than any life or group of lives. He stood for the +generation which has been wiped out almost to a boy, as I knew it; he +stood for his brothers, and for all our sons who made their sacrifice at +once; he stood for the English games, and for those who had seemed to +live for games, but who jumped into the King's uniform quicker than they +ever changed into flannels in their lives. 'It is the one good thing the +war has done—to give public-school fellows a chance—they are the one +class who are enjoying themselves in this war.' So wrote one whose early +innings was of the shortest; and though it was a boyish boast, and they +were not the only class by any means, I should like to know which other +was quite as valuable when the war, too, was in its infancy? In each and +every country, by one means or the other, the men were to be had: only +our Public Schools could have furnished off-hand an army of natural +officers, trained to lead, old in responsibility, and afraid of nothing +in the world but fear itself. There were very few of the first lot left +last March, and now there are many fewer. Of one particular Eton and +Harrow match, I believe it can be said that not half-a-dozen of the +twenty-two players are now alive. It was something to meet so noble a +survivor, still leading in battle as he had learnt to lead at school and +college, both on and off the field.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span>Nor had one to hang about hotels and restaurants, or camps or the street +corners, to see men straight from the fight or just going in, and to +take fresh heart from theirs. The chief local Y.M.C.A. was full of both +kinds, one more appealing than the other. It was perhaps the least +conscious appeal ever made to human heart; for men are proud in the day +of battle, and they are also mighty busy with their own affairs. What +pocket stores they were laying in! What sanguine reserves of tobacco and +cigarettes! That was a heartening sign. But there were no foreboding +faces that I could see. It is one of the strong points of the inner +soldier that he never thinks it is his turn; but if shell or bullet 'has +his name on it,' it will 'see him off,' as he also puts it. Some call +this fatalism. I call it Faith. It is their plain way of bowing to the +Will of God. But the only bow I saw was over the long last letters many +were writing, as though the bugle was already blowing for them, as +though they well knew what it meant. There was no looking unmoved upon +those bent backs and hurrying hands.</p> + +<p>Nor were they the most poignant figures; it was the men who had been in +it that one could not keep one's eyes off. Those we had seen bathing in +the morning were nothing to them. They had a night's rest behind them; +these were brands<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span> still smoking from the fire. Dirty as dustmen, +red-eyed, and with the growth of all these days upon their haggard +faces, some sat at the tables, eating and drinking like men who had just +discovered their own emptiness; and many lay huddled on the floor, as on +the battle-field itself, filling the hut with its very atmosphere. To +step over them, and to sit with the men who had a mind to talk, was to +get into the red heart of the thing that was going on.</p> + +<p>Not that they had very much to tell; all were hazy as to what had +happened; but all agreed it was the worst thing they had been through +yet, and all bore out our Sunday morning friend, that it was worse for +the enemy than for anybody else. This unanimity was remarkable; +especially if you consider, first the military history of that last ten +days in March, and secondly the fact that none of these unwounded +stalwarts was there for a normal reason. Each stood for scores or +hundreds who had gone under in the fight, or been taken prisoner. Yet it +was worse for the enemy! Yet we were going to win! I cannot swear to the +statement in those words, but it was implicit in their every utterance, +and emphatic in the things they never said. For though I brought +biscuits to many, and sat while they steeped them in their mugs and +gulped them down, not a first syllable of complaint reached<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span> my ears. On +that I would take my stand in any witness-box. And a Y.M.C.A. man knows; +they trust us, and speak their minds.</p> + +<p>Often in the winter 'peace-time,' as hinted early in these notes, I have +seen men shudder at the prospect of the trenches, heard bitter murmurs +at the mud and misery, and have done my best to answer the natural cry: +'When is this dreadful war going to finish? It will never be finished by +fighting!' There was nothing of that sort to cope with now. In the +winter I have heard lamentations for the stray man killed by a sniper or +a stray shell. There was the case of the Lewis gunner who had earned his +special leave; there was 'the best wee sergeant,' and there were others. +But there was none of that now that men were falling by the thousand; +not from a single one of these ravenous, red-eyed survivors. You may say +it was their hunger, weariness, and consequent insensibility, the +acquiescence of the sleeper in the snow. But they were full of +confidence phlegmatic yet serene. They were on the winning side; there +was never a doubt of it on their lips or in their eyes; and with us they +had no reason to keep their doubts to themselves. They had voiced them +freely in the winter. But now they had no doubts to voice.</p> + +<p>I do not propound their perspicacity or<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span> postulate an instinct they did +not claim themselves. I merely state a fact from observation of these +handfuls of men in the first days of the great crisis. That was the way +they reacted against the greatest enemy success since the first month of +the war. It is the English way, and always has been. And they happen to +be busy finishing the old sequel as I write.</p> + +<p>Yet if you had seen their eyes! I remember as a little boy seeing Lady +Butler's 'Charge of the Light Brigade' at my first Academy. I am not +sure that I have looked upon the canvas since, but the wild-eyed central +figure, 'back from the mouth of Hell,' rises up before me after forty +years. There is, to be sure, only the most odious of comparisons between +his heroic stand and the posture of my friends, who were not posing for +a Victorian battle-piece, but bolting biscuits and spilling tea on a +Y.M.C.A. table in modern France. Nevertheless, some of them had those +eyes.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="OTHER_OLD_FELLOWS" id="OTHER_OLD_FELLOWS"></a>OTHER OLD FELLOWS</h3> + +<p>It was pleasant one morning to hear a sudden voice at my elbow: 'How's +the Rest Hut?' and to find at least one of its regular frequenters still +whole and hearty, in the press outside this teeming Y.M.C.A. But a more +embarrassing encounter occurred the same day and on the same too public +spot.</p> + +<p>It began in the hut, with a couple of sad young Jocks, who were like to +be sad, as they might have said; but they only smiled in wry yet not +unhumorous resignation. Their story was that of thousands upon the +imperative stoppage of all leave. These two had started off on theirs, +and were going aboard at Boulogne when headed back to their Battalion, +which they had now to find. It chanced to be one of those to which I had +helped to minister in the sunken road at Christmas. They remembered the +Cocoa Man, as I had been called there, but in the morning they were not +demonstrative.</p> + +<p>About mid-day we met again, and as I say, in the surging crowd outside +the Y.M.C.A. This time the case was sadly altered; the hapless pair had +been consoling themselves at another spring, and were at the +warm-hearted stage.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span> Nothing was now too good for the poor Cocoa Man, no +compliment too wildly hyperbolical. Falling with their unabated forces +upon both his hands, only stopping short of the actual neck, they +greeted him as 'a brave mon' in that concourse of braves, and proceeded +to embroider the charge with unconscionable detail.</p> + +<p>'Thairty-five yarrds from the Gairmans,' declared one, 'this ol' feller +was teemin' cocoa in the trenches. I'm tellin' ye! Lash C'rishmash—mind +ye—shnow an' ische! Thairty-five yarrds from the Gairmans—strike me +dead!'</p> + +<p>A vindictive Deity might well have taken him at his word, for dividing +the real distance by more than ten. But nothing came of it except a +murmur of general incredulity, obsequiously confirmed by the Cocoa Man, +and from the other Jock's wagging head a sentimental echo: 'Thish ol' +feller! Thish ol' feller!' he could only say for the pavement's benefit.</p> + +<p>'Why was <i>I</i> there?' demanded the spokesman, with a rhetorical thump +upon his chest. 'Dis-<i>cip</i>-line—dis-<i>cip</i>-line—only reason <i>I</i> was +there. But this ol' feller——'</p> + +<p>'Thish ol' <i>feller</i>!' screamed the other, in a paroxysm of affection; +and when I had eventually retrieved both hands I left them singing my +longevity in those terms, like a catch, and took my blushes to a safer +part of the town.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span>'I've given them a bitty,' whispered one of our ministers, who had +assisted my escape, 'and told them to go away and get something to +<i>eat</i>.'</p> + +<p>And the sly carnal wisdom of the advice, no less than the charity which +made it practicable, left a good taste in the mouth. It was the kind of +thing I ventured to think we wanted in our workers. In any community of +sinners there is room for the saint who will help a man to get sober +sooner than scold him for getting drunk.</p> + +<p>Not that I saw above half-a-dozen tipsy men in all the huts that I was +ever in. They were to be seen, no doubt, but they did not come our way. +The soldier who seeks the Y.M. in his cups is not a hardened case. He is +the last person to be discouraged, as he will be the first to deplore +his imprudence in the morning. I have heard a splendid young New +Zealander speak of the lapse that had cost him his stripes as though +nobody had ever made so dire a fool of himself. That is the kind of +notion to scout even at the cost of a high line in these matters. It is +possible to make too much of the virtues that come easily to ourselves; +and to the average Y.M.C.A. man the cardinal virtues seemed very like +second nature. This is not covert irony, but a simple fact which, for +that matter, ought hardly to have been otherwise, since most of us were +ministers of one denomination or another. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span> minority were apt to +feel, but were not necessarily justified in feeling, that a more liberal +admixture of 'sinful laymen' might have put us, as a body, even more +intimately in touch with the men than we undoubtedly were.</p> + +<p>Chief, however, among the virtues of my comrades, I think any +unprejudiced observer would have placed that of Courage. There were now +no fewer than eighty of us, all leaves before the wind of war, blown +helter-skelter into this little town that must be nameless. We had come +off all sorts and sizes of trees, down to the most sensitive and +frailest; but from the first squall to the last we were permitted to +face, and throughout these days of precarious shelter, in many ways a +higher test, I never saw a man among us outwardly the worse for nerves. +And be it known that the small personal escapes and excitements recorded +in these notes, were as nothing to the full-size adventures of a great +many of our refugees. In outlying huts, cheek by jowl with the camps +they served, the shelling had been far heavier and more direct than the +officers of the Rest Hut had been privileged to undergo; the +responsibility had been much greater, and the means of escape not to be +compared with ours. Little home-made dug-outs, under the hut itself, had +been their nearest approach to our vaulted dungeon, a tattoo of shrapnel +their variety of shell-<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span>music. Whole walls had been blown in on them, +men killed and wounded under the riddled roof. Some had suffered even +more from a bodyguard of our own guns than from the enemy; one reverend +gentleman declared in writing that his 'hut reeled like a ship in a +great sea.'</p> + +<p>Another wrote: 'A wave of gas entered our domain and we had a season of +intense coughing and sneezing, also watering of eyes. Thinking it was +but a passing wave of gas from our own guns, we did not use our +respirators, but reaching up to a box of sweets I distributed them to my +comrades, and we lay sucking sweets to take away the taste.' (This was a +Baptist minister with a South African ribbon, and not the man to lie +long doing anything.) 'After breakfast I called upon the Artillery +Officers to offer my staff to make hot cocoa and supply biscuits during +the morning for the hard-worked gun-teams, an offer which he gratefully +accepted. I then made my way up to the dressing-station to see if the +Medical Officer required our services for the walking wounded. His reply +being in the affirmative, I took stock of the equipment we had on the +spot, then went back to bring up all necessary articles, also my +comrades. The small hut we have near the dressing-station for this work +was being so hotly shelled that the M.O. would not allow us to remain +there, so we worked<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span> outside the dressing-station door, a little more +sheltered, but still exposed to shell-fire. We comforted the wounded, +gave them hot tea and free cigarettes. A lull occurred during the +morning in our work, so Mr. —— returned to make the cocoa for the +gun-teams, Mr. —— remained to carry on at the dressing-station, and I +returned to clear the cash-boxes, fill my pockets with rescued +paper-money, prepared again for emergency.... We continued our work with +the wounded, and as the same increased in number, I then assisted in +bandaging the smaller wounds, having knowledge of that kind of work. +Later, the A.P.M. gave me his field-glasses and asked me to act as +observer and report to him every change in the progress of the battle of +the ridges. This was most interesting work, but meant constant exposure. +One of our aeroplanes sounded its hooter and dropped a message about 600 +yards away. On reporting it I was asked to cross over and see that the +message was delivered to the correct battery.'</p> + +<p>This was a man! But do not forget he was also a Baptist minister on a +four-months furlough at the front. 'Once a soldier!' he too may have +said after his first campaign, and clinched it by entering his ministry; +but here he was in his pious prime, excelling his lay youth in deeds of +gallantry, and covering our civilian heads with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span> his reflected glory. No +wonder he 'heard from two sources that my work on that day received +mention in military dispatches.' Let us hope it did. 'If true,' he makes +haste to add, 'the work of my two colleagues is as much deserving.' But +who inspired them? Before they turned their backs, 'the advancing +Germans were only about 700 yards away. Securing some of our goods, we +decided to retire upon —— for the night and return if possible the +next day.' The last six words italicise themselves.</p> + +<p>The party went out of the frying-pan into heavier fire further back: +'Soon after we had retired to rest the Germans commenced to bombard the +place with high velocity shells from long range.... A Lieutenant in our +hut went to the door, but reeled back immediately with a shattered arm. +A Corporal outside received a nasty wound in the shoulder. We set to +work bandaging the wounds of these men and making them comfortable while +others went to obtain a conveyance. There was no shelter, so after the +wounded were safely on their way to a C.C.S. we lay down in our +blankets, considering it as easy to be shelled in the warm as standing +in the cold'—more wine that needs no printer's bush. Later, he relieved +the leader of a very hot hut indeed, where he had for colleague 'one who +was calm in the hour of danger.' Here<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span> the congenial pair 'were able to +carry on for four days, when the order came for us to evacuate. We +distributed our stock of goods to the soldiers, then closed up. That +night we lay in our blankets counting the bursting shells around us at +three shells per minute.' On their arrival in our common port, naturally +not before, 'the effects of the gas at —— began to make themselves +felt, and I was ordered by the Medical Officer to take a week's complete +rest.' One wonders if a rest was better earned in all those terrific +days.</p> + +<p>The document from which I have been quoting is only one of many placed +at my disposal. It is typical of them all, exceptional solely in the +telling simplicity of the narrator. The writer was not our only minister +who came through the fire pure gold; he was not even the only Baptist +minister. One there was, the gentlest of souls, whose heroic story I may +yet make shift to tell, though it deserves the hand of Mr. Service or of +'Woodbine Willie.' Such were the men I had the honour of working with +last winter, and of such their adventures as against the personal +experiences it was necessary to recount first or else not at all. I +confess they make my Rest Hut look a little too restful as I set them +down; for there we were wonderfully spared the tangible horrors of the +situation; but many of these others, as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span> little used to bloodshed as +ourselves, had left a shambles behind them, and looked upon the things +that haunt a mind.</p> + +<p>And yet, as I began by saying, not a man of them showed shaken nerves, +or what mattered more to those of us who had seen less, a shaken faith. +Therein they were not only worthy of the men they had served so +devotedly to the end, but of the sublime tradition it was theirs to +uphold. It was a great matter that there should not have been one heart +among us so faint as to affect another, that we should have carried +ourselves at least outwardly as I think we did. But to some of us it +seemed a yet greater matter, in the days of anti-climax and reaction now +in store, that those to whom we were entitled to look for spiritual +support did not fail us in a single instance.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span></p> + + +<h3 class="newsection"><a name="THE_REST_CAMP_AND_AFTER" id="THE_REST_CAMP_AND_AFTER"></a>THE REST CAMP—AND AFTER</h3> + +<p>Y.M.C.A. work was over for the time being in the fighting areas. +Hundreds of huts and mountains of stores had been abandoned or +destroyed. What was to be done with the six or seven dozen of us, now +thoroughly superfluous men (and as many more in other centres), was the +immediate problem. It was solved by the High Command putting at our +disposal an Army rest-camp on the coast.</p> + +<p>Thither we all started by rail on the evening of Tuesday, March 26th. +Ten minutes after our train left, the station was heavily bombed; +half-an-hour later we were lying low in a cutting, under a mercilessly +full moon, but perhaps in deeper shadow than we supposed, while a German +aeroplane scoured the sky for mischief. There was an Anti-Aircraft +Battery also concealed about the district; thanks to its activities, we +were at length able to proceed with less fear of molestation. But only +fitfully; the full moon saw to that. It was as light as noonday through +smoked glasses, and very soon our train was hiding in the next wood that +happened to intersect the line.</p> + +<p>Did we waste time talking about it, discussing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span> our chances, or mildly +anathematising our last-straw luck? Not for many minutes; at least, not +in the bare truck round which some fifty of us squatted on our baggage. +We had begun the last stage of our exodus in a certain fashion; and in +that fashion we went on—and on. Before we were five minutes out, one of +them had struck up a hymn, and we had sung it with all our lungs and +hearts. Another and another followed; and in the stoppages, after a +human peep at the sky, and a silence broken by the beat of the +destroyer's engine, there was always some exalted voice to lead us yet +again, and a stentorian following every time. Though the tunes were +often strange to me, and to my mind no improvement on the ones I wanted, +the hymns themselves were the old hymns that take a man back to his old +home and his old school. Each was like a bottle charged with the essence +of some ancient scene. One savoured the scents of vanished rooms, heard +the sound of voices long past singing or long ago stilled; forgotten +influences, childish promptings, looks and thoughts and sayings, came +leaping out of the dead past into that dark truck hiding for dear life +in a wood. And of all the unreal situations I was ever in—or invented, +for that matter—this at last struck me as about the most unconvincing +and far-fetched. Yet at the same time, like all else that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span> really +matters, it seemed the most natural thing in the world: as though the +whole history of mankind had not led up to the horrors and splendours of +this stupendous war more inevitably than our fifty life-lines converged +in that truck-load of brave, faithful, hymn-singing men.</p> + +<p>Then a hymn would end, and there would be sometimes as much as a minute +of natural talk and normal thinking. But it was like the lorries full of +fighting-men in the moonlit dust; always a new leader filled the breach; +and the officers of the Rest Hut had long been stolid listeners when we +stopped once more, not to hide, but at some station, and that weary pair +sneaked out into another truck. Here there were but other two before +them: a sardonic Anglican, and a young man enviably asleep under less +covering than would have soothed our thinner blood. Side by side we +cowered upon a packing-case, a Rest Hut blanket about our legs, and +discussed the secular situation over a pipe. Almost the last thing we +two had heard in the town was a whisper about the German cavalry; a +rumour so sensational that we were keeping it to ourselves; but it only +confirmed the mate in his prophetic conviction that the fools were just +cutting their own throats deeper with every mile they advanced. That was +<i>his</i> hymn; not a stage of our flight had he failed to beguile<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span> with the +grim refrain; but in the truck I seem to recall a wilder dream of +getting into some dead man's uniform, if the other folly went much +further, and risking a firing-party for one blow at a Boche by fair or +foul. It was perhaps as well that we were going beyond the reach of any +such desperate temptations.</p> + +<p>The Rest Camp was on a chilly plateau at the mouth of the Somme: it +might have been the Murrambidgee for all the warfare within reach. A few +faint flashes claimed our wistful attention on a clear night, but I have +heard the guns better here in Sussex. On the other hand, it was a +military camp, laid out on scientific principles that appealed to the +camp-following spirit, and military discipline kept us on our acquired +mettle. I had not slept under canvas for thirty years, and rather +dreaded it, especially as the weather had turned cold and unsettled. A +tent in the rain had perhaps more terrors for many of us than a snug hut +under occasional shell-fire; but few if any were the worse for the +experience. Indeed, the chief drawback was an appetite out of all +proportion to available rations; but, though tempers were at times on +edge, and fists clenched in the bacon queue, on one of our few bacon +mornings, no grumbling disgraced the board. We reminded ourselves and +each other of the lads we had left to bear<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span> the brunt, and we started +our humdrum days with vociferous jocosity in the wash-house.</p> + +<p>Easter was upon us before we were fairly settled, or a tent pitched +large enough to hold us all; and it was 'in sundry places,' indeed, that +we mobilised as a congregation. One was the open shed in which we +shivered over meals, and one the camp shower-baths. But on Easter Day, +which was fine and bright, all adjourned to a neighbouring wood, then +breaking into bud and song; and sitting or leaning in a circle against +the trees, at the intersection of two green rides, we held our service +in Nature's sanctuary. In that ring of unmilitary men in khaki there +were few who had not been nearer violent death than ever in their lives +before, very few but were prepared to face it afresh at the first +chance, one at least who was soon to be killed behind his counter; and +presently a young man standing in our midst, an Anglican with a +Nonconformist gift of speech, brought the spring morning home to our +hearts, filled them with thankfulness for our lot and trust in the +issue, and pride of sacrifice, and love of Him Who showed the way, in a +sermon one would not have missed for the best they were getting in +London at that hour. It was not the only fine sermon we had in the Rest +Camp; and wonderful it was to hear the same simple note struck so often, +albeit from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span> different angles of the Christian faith, and so seldom +forced. We must have had representatives of all the English-spoken +Churches, save and except the parent of them all; constantly an Anglican +and a Dissenter would officiate together, with many a piquant compromise +between their respective usages; but when it came to preaching, they +were like searchlights trained from divers quarters upon the same +central fact of Christianity. The separate beams might taper off into +the night, but high overhead they met and mingled in a single splendour.</p> + +<p>But there was one minister who took no part; he lay too sick in our +tent; and yet his mere record is the sermon I remember best. He was that +other Baptist already mentioned, a shy bachelor of fifty, the most +diffident and (one might have thought) least resolute of men. A lad he +loved had come out and been killed; the impulse took him to follow and +throw himself into the war in the only capacity open to his years. The +Y.M.C.A. is the refuge of those consciously or unconsciously in quest of +this anodyne. We had met at my first hut, where he had slaved many days +as an extra hand. Never was one of us so deferential towards the men; +never were they served with a more intense solicitude, or addressed +across the counter with so many marks of respect. 'Sir,' he never +failed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span> to call them to their faces, or 'this gentleman' when invoking +expert intervention. That gentleman, being one, never smiled; but we +did, sometimes, in our room. Then one Sunday I persuaded him to preach. +It was a revelation. The hut had heard nothing simpler, manlier, +straighter from the shoulder; and the war, not just then the safest +subject, was finely and bravely treated, both in the sermon and the +final prayer. A fighting sermon and a fighting prayer, for all the +gentle piety that formed the greater part, and all the sensitive +mannerism which would never make us smile again.</p> + +<p>At that time our outpost in the support line, scene of my Christmas +outing, had been running a good many weeks; and its popularity as a +holiday resort was not imperceptibly upon the wane. Most of us had +tasted its fearful joys, and there were no offers for a second helping; +it was emphatically a thing to have done rather than the thing to do +again. It came to the Baptist's turn, and when his week was up there was +a genuine difficulty in relieving him, one or two on the rota having +fallen sick. Our young commandant went up to ask if he would mind doing +an extra day or two. Mind! It was his one desire; he was as happy as a +king—and he had quite transformed the place. The tiny hut was no longer +the pig-sty described in an<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span> earlier note; it was as neat and spotless +as an old maid's sanctum. The urns were like burnished silver. The fire +never smoked. The bed had been brought in from the unspeakable tunnel +under the sand-bags; it was as dry as a bone, and curtained off at its +own end of the cabin. All these improvements the Baptist had wrought +single-handed, besides fending and cooking for himself: no Battalion +Headquarters for him! An extra week was just what he had been longing +for; in point of fact, he stayed four weeks on end, as against my four +paltry days!</p> + +<p>Shells arrived in due course; death happened at the door; men grievously +wounded staggered in for first aid; the lengthening days kept him +fireless till evening; but the cocoa had never been so well made, or so +continuous the supply. Once a big shell burst within a yard of the +grassy roof, on the very edge of the high ground of which the roof was a +colourable extension. It brought down all the mugs and urns and +condensed-milk tins with a run; and that day we did see the Baptist at +our mid-day board. 'It shook me up a bitty,' he confessed with his shy +laugh; but back he went in the afternoon; and illness alone restored him +to us when the month was up.</p> + +<p>But the gem of his performance was an act of moral gallantry: and here +is needed the Rough Rhyme of a Padre or of a Red Cross<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span> Man. One cold +night a Sergeant-Major—Regimental, I do believe—honoured the cabin +with his presence, only to fire a burst of improper language at the +weather and the war. The Baptist, whom we may figure on the verge of +genuflexion before the august guest, lost not a moment in standing up to +him.</p> + +<p>'You can't talk like that here, sir!' he cried with stern simplicity. +'It's not allowed!'</p> + +<p>'Can't,' if you please, and 'not allowed'! You picture the audience +settling down to the dreadful drama, hear the cold shudders of the +callow, see the turkey-cock turning an appropriate purple. He very soon +showed what he could do; but it was no longer a spontaneous or such a +glib display. The rum that happened somehow to be in him seems to have +had something to do with this; but not, it may be, as much as the +Sergeant-Major pretended; and the torpor that rather suddenly supervened +I diagnose as the ready resource of an expert in camouflage. Better +gloriously drunk than ignominiously admonished by an unprintable hiatus +of a Y.M. Padre!</p> + +<p>So a party of muscular volunteers escorted the S.M. to his dug-out. But +the next day he returned alone, crisp-footed and square-jawed, +apparently to put the Baptist in his place for ever. Exactly what +followed, that gentle hero<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span> was not the man to relate. Again one +pictures Peeping Tommies exposing themselves on the sunken road to see +the fun, perhaps the murder; but what I really believe they might have +seen, before many minutes were up, was the spectacle of the two +protagonists upon their knees.</p> + +<hr class="thin" /> + +<p>Stranger things have been happening, even on that sunken road of ours. +It was lost to us in those very days of the Army Rest Camp; it had not +been recovered when I was busy expatiating on its Christmas charms; its +recovery was one of the first loose stones in the avalanche of vast +events which has caught me up.... And now they say the war is over! To +have seen something of it all in the last dark hour—and nothing +since—is to find even more than the old war-time difficulty in +believing half one hears. One has too many fixed ideas and violent +impressions, not only of those four months, but of these four years: a +man has to clear his own entanglements before he can begin to advance +with such times. In the meantime the patter about Indemnities and +Demobilisation leaves him cold. Demobilisation will have to begin nearer +home than charity, in the armies of our thoughts; and some are not as +highly disciplined as others, some hearts too sore to enter as they +would into this Peace.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</a></span>For them there is still the Y.M.C.A. That little force of camp-followers +still holds the field, has nothing to say to any Armistice, may well +have started its most strenuous campaign. With the Armies of Occupation +its work will hardly be the romantic enterprise it was; with all the +danger, most of the glamour will have departed; but the deeper +attractions are the less adventitious, while the Rhine at any rate +should provide some piquant novelties in place of old excitements. The +grand fleet of huts will soon be anchored there—including, as I hope, +the new Rest Hut that was to have been tucked up close behind the Line. +Once more before each counter there will be the old press of matchless +manhood and humanity; neater and sprucer, I make no doubt, but otherwise +neither more nor less like conquering heroes than their old +unconquerable selves; and just once more, behind the counter, the chance +of a lifetime, but the last chance, for 'sinful laymen' of the milder +sort!</p> + +<p>Will it be taken? Are our courageous ministers to have the last field +practically to themselves, or will a few mere men of the world even now +step in, if only for the honour of the laity? They would if they knew +what the work is like and what it may be made, how free a hand is given +one, how generously one is met by all<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</a></span> concerned, and the modicum of +spiritual equipment essential if only that modicum be sincere. Pre-war +notions about the Young Men's Christian Association still militate a +little against the Y.M.C.A. for all the halo of success attaching to +those capitals; but hear a soldier from the front upon the 'Y.M.' <i>tout +court</i>, and his affectionate abbreviation of an abbreviation will in +itself tell you something of the institution as it is to-day. It has +meant rather more to him than 'tea and prayer in equal parts'; yet that +conception still prevails in superior circles. Quite lately I heard a +dignitary of the Established Church speak with pain of a brilliant young +Oxford man of his acquaintance, who, rejected of the Army, must needs be +'giving out tea in some tent in France!' It seemed to him a truly +shocking waste of fine material; but if that young man was not giving +out a great deal more than creature comforts, and getting at least as +good as he gave, then it was a still more wanton waste of an opportunity +which the finest young man alive might have been proud to seize.</p> + +<p>The truth is, of course, that no man is too good for this job. He may be +a specialist, and more valuable to the community where he is than he +would be (to the community) in a Y.M.C.A. or a Church Army hut. He may +be a Cabinet Minister, a Bishop, or a Judge: that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</a></span> does not make him too +good to minister to the men who have borne the brunt of this war: it +only makes him too busy and perhaps too old. One must not even now be +extra liable to 'die of winter,' as the Tynesider said, nor yet too +dainty about bed and board. But the better the man, the better he will +do this work, the more he will bring to it, the more he will find in it; +the greater will be his tact, the greater his loving-kindness and +humility; the readier will he be to recognise many a better man than +himself in our noble rank-and-file—to learn all they have to teach him +in patience and naturalness, unselfishness and simplicity—and to +perceive the higher service involved in serving them, even across a +counter.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">To Him Who made the Heavens move and cease not in their motion—<br /></span> +<span class="i0">To Him Who leads the haltered tides twice a day round ocean—<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Let His name be magnified in all poor folks' devotion!<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">Not for Prophecies or Powers, Visions, Gifts or Graces,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">But the unrelenting hours that grind us in our places,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">With the burden on our backs, the smile upon our faces.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">Not for any miracle of easy loaves and fishes,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">But for work against our will and waiting 'gainst our wishes—<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Such as gathering up the crumbs and cleaning dirty dishes.<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>It may or may not be that Mr. Kipling is thinking of the Y.M.C.A. I do +not know the title of his poem, or whether it has yet appeared<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</a></span> +elsewhere, or another line of it. These lines I owe to his kindness, and +as usual they crystallise all that one was trying to say. But to some of +us the crumbs that fell were a feast of fine humanity, and great indeed +was his reward who gathered them.</p> + + + +<p class="theend"><i>Printed in Great Britain by <em class="upright">Butler and Tanner</em>, Frome and London</i>.</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<blockquote><p>Transcriber's Note: The following typographical errors present in the +original edtion have been corrected.</p> + +<p>In "Under Way", <b>equal fimrness and good-humour</b> was changed to <b>equal +firmness and good-humour</b>.</p> + +<p>In "Christmas Day", <b>abroad on the battlefield</b> was changed to <b>abroad on +the battle-field</b>.</p> + +<p>In "The Babes in the Trenches", <b>The fire was out; it seemed</b> was changed +to <b>The fire was out, it seemed</b>.</p> + +<p>In "Orderly Men", a period was changed to a comma after <b>copies for +myself</b>.</p> + +<p>In "The Hut in Being", <b>'I don't want the political'!</b> was changed to <b>'I +don't want the political!'</b></p> + +<p>In "War and the Man", <b>argumentum at hominem</b> was changed to <b>argumentum ad +hominem</b>.</p></blockquote> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Notes of a Camp-Follower on the +Western Front, by E. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Notes of a Camp-Follower on the Western Front + +Author: E. W. Hornung + +Release Date: September 7, 2011 [EBook #37331] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOTES OF A CAMP-FOLLOWER ON *** + + + + +Produced by Suzanne Shell, Steven desJardins, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net +(This file was produced from images generously made +available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +NOTES OF A CAMP-FOLLOWER ON THE WESTERN FRONT + +BY E. W. HORNUNG + +LONDON +CONSTABLE & COMPANY, LTD. +1919 + + + + + To + THE KINDEST MAN + IN THE BOOK + + + + +CONTENTS + PAGE + AN ARK IN THE MUD 11 + UNDER WAY 11 + A HANDFUL OF MEN 20 + SUNDAY ON BOARD 29 + + CHRISTMAS UP THE LINE 39 + UNDER FIRE 39 + CASUALTIES 45 + AN INTERRUPTED LUNCH 53 + CHRISTMAS DAY 57 + THE BABES IN THE TRENCHES 71 + + DETAILS 79 + ORDERLY MEN 79 + THE JOCKS 89 + GUNNERS 102 + THE GUARDS 110 + + A BOY'S GRAVE 121 + + THE REST HUT 141 + FRESH GROUND 141 + OPENING DAY 152 + THE HUT IN BEING 160 + WRITERS AND READERS 170 + WAR AND THE MAN 182 + + 'WE FALL TO RISE' 193 + BEFORE THE STORM 193 + ANOTHER OPENING DAY 201 + THE END OF A BEGINNING 210 + THE ROAD BACK 221 + IN THE DAY OF BATTLE 228 + OTHER OLD FELLOWS 238 + THE REST CAMP--AND AFTER 247 + + + + +AN ARK IN THE MUD + +(_December, 1917._) + + +UNDER WAY + +'There's our hut!' said the young hut-leader, pointing through iron +palings at a couple of toy Noah's Arks built large. 'No--that's the +_nth_ Division's cinema. The Y.M.C.A. is the one beyond.' + +The enclosure behind the palings had been a parade-ground in piping +times; and British squads, from the pink French barracks outside the +gates, still drilled there between banks of sterilised rubbish and +lagoons of unmedicated mud. The place was to become familiar to me under +many aspects. I have known it more than presentable in a clean suit of +snow, and really picturesque with a sharp moon cocked upon some towering +trees, as yet strangely intact. It was at its best, perhaps, as a +nocturne pricked out by a swarm of electric torches, going and coming +along the duck-boards in a grand chain of sparks and flashes. But its +true colours were the wet browns and drabs of that first glimpse in the +December dusk, with the Ark hull down in the mud, and the cinema a +sister ship across her bows. + +The hut-leader ushered me on board with the courtesy of a young +commander inducting an elderly new mate; the difference was that I had +all the ropes to learn, with the possible exception of one he had +already shown me on our way from the local headquarters of the Y.M.C.A. +The battered town was full of English soldiers, to whom indeed it owed +its continued existence on the right side of the Line. In the gathering +twilight, and the deeper shade of beetling ruins, most of them saluted +either my leader's British warm, or my own voluminous trench-coat (with +fleece lining), on the supposition of officers within. Left to myself, I +should have done the wrong thing every time. It is expressly out of +order for a camp-follower to give or take salutes. Yet what is he to do, +when he gets a beauty from one whose boots he is unfit to black? My +leader had been showing me, with a pleasant nod and a genial civilian +gesture, easier to emulate than to acquire. + +In the hut he left me to my own investigations while he was seeing to +his lamps. The round stove in the centre showed a rosy chimney through +the gloom, like a mast in a ship's saloon; and in the two half-lights +the place looked scrupulously swept and garnished for our guests, a +number of whom were already waiting outside for us to open. The trestle +tables, with nothing on them but a dusky polish, might have been +mathematically spaced, each with a pair of forms in perfect parallels, +and nothing else but a piano and an under-sized billiard-table on all +the tidy floor. The usual display of bunting, cheap but cheerful, hung +as banners from the joists, a garish vista from platform to counter. +Behind the counter were the shelves of shimmering goods, biscuits and +candles in open cases on the floor, and as many exits as a scene in a +farce. One door led into our room: an oblong cabin with camp beds for +self and leader, tables covered with American cloth, dust, toilet +requisites, more dust, candle-grease and tea-things, and a stove of its +own in roseate blast like the one down the hut. + +The crew of two orderlies lived along a little passage in their kitchen, +and were now at their tea on packing-cases by the boiler fire. They were +both like Esau hairy men, with very little of the soldier left about +them. Their unlovely beds were the principal pieces of kitchen +furniture. In the kitchen, too, for obscure reasons not for me to +investigate, were the washing arrangements for all hands, and any face +or neck that felt inclined. I had heard a whisper of Officers' Baths in +the vicinity; it came to mind like the tinkle of a brook at these +discoveries. + +At 4.30 the unkempt couple staggered in with the first urn, and I took +my post at the tap. One of them shuffled down the hut to open up; our +young skipper stuck a carriage candle in its grease on the edge of the +counter, over his till, saying he was as short of paraffin as of change; +and into the half-lit gloom marched a horde of determined soldiers, and +so upon the counter and my urn in double file. 'Tea, please, sir!' 'Two +teas!' 'Coop o' tay, plase!' The accents were from every district I had +ever known, and were those of every class, including the one that has no +accent at all. They warmed the blood like a medley of patriotic airs, +and I commenced potman as it were to martial music. + +It was, perhaps, the least skilled labour to be had in France, but that +evening it was none too light. Every single customer began with tea: the +mugs flew through my hands as fast as I could fill them, until my end of +the counter swam in livid pools, and the tilted urn was down to a gentle +dribble. Now was the chance to look twice at the consumers of our +innocuous blend. One had a sheaf of wound-stripes on his sleeve; another +was fresh trench-mud from leathern jerkin (where my view of him began) +to the crown of his shrapnel helmet; many wore the bonnets of a famous +Scotch Division, all were in their habit as they fought; and there they +were waiting for their tea, a long perspective of patient faces, like +school-children at a treat. And here was I, fairly launched upon the +career which a facetious density has summed up as 'pouring out tea and +prayer in equal parts,' and prepared to continue with the first half of +the programme till further orders: the other was less in my line--but I +could have poured out a fairly fluent thanksgiving for the atmosphere of +youth and bravery, and most infectious vitality, which already filled +the hut. + +In the meantime there was much to be learnt from my seasoned neighbour +at the till, and to admire in his happy control of gentlemen on their +way up the Line. Should they want more matches than it suited him to +sell, then want must be their master; did some sly knave appear at the +top of the queue, without having worked his way up past my urn, then it +was: 'I saw you, Jock! Go round and come up in your turn!' Or was it a +man with no change, and was there hardly any in the till?--'Take two +steps to the rear, my friend, and when I have the change I'll serve +you!' When he had the change, the sparks might have flown with it +through his fingers; he was lightning calculator and conjuror in one, +knew the foul franc note of a dubious bank with less than half an eye, +and how to refuse it with equal firmness and good-humour. I hardly knew +whether to feel hurt or flattered at being perpetually 'Mr.' to this +natural martinet, my junior it is true by decades, but a leader I was +already proud to follow and obey. + +In the first lull he deserted me in order to make tea in our room, but +took his with the door open, shouting out the price of aught I had to +sell with an endearing verve, name and prefix included every time. It +made me feel more than ever like the mate of a ship, and anxious to earn +my certificate. + +Then I had _my_ tea--with the door shut--and already an aching back for +part of the fun. For already the whole thing was my idea of fun--the +picnic idea--an old weakness. Huts especially were always near my heart, +and our room in this one reminded me of bush huts adored for their +discomfort in my teens. Of the two I preferred the bush fireside, a +hearth like a powder-closet and blazing logs; but candles in their own +grease-spots were an improvement on the old slush-lamp of moleskin and +mutton-fat. The likeness reached its height in the two sheetless bunks, +but there it ended. Not a sound was a sound ever heard before. The +continual chink of money in the till outside; the movement of many +feet, trained not to shuffle; the constant coughing of men otherwise in +superhuman health; the crude tinkle of the piano at the far end of the +hut--the efficient pounding of the cinema piano--the screw-like throb of +their petrol engine--the periodical bringing-down of their packed house, +no doubt by the ubiquitous Mr. Chaplin! Those were the sounds to which +we took our tea in the state-room of the Ark. She might have been on a +pleasure-trip all the time. + +That first night I remember going back and diving into open cases of +candles, and counting out packets of cigarettes and biscuits, sticks of +chocolate, boxes of matches, and reaching down tinned salmon, sardines, +boot-laces, boot-polish, shaving-soap and tooth-paste, button-sticks, +'sticks of lead' (otherwise pencils), writing-pads, Nosegay Shag, Royal +Seal, or twist if we had it, and shouting for the prices as I went, +coping with the change by light of luck and nature, but doling out the +free stationery with a base lingering relief, until my back was a +hundred and all the silver of the allied realms one composite coin that +danced without jingling in the till. Gold stripes meant nothing to me +now; shrapnel helmets were as high above me as the stars; the only hero +was the man who didn't want change. Often in the early part I thought +the queue was coming to an end; it was always the sign for a fresh +influx; and when the National Anthem came thumping from the cinema, the +original Ark might have sunk under such a boarding-party of thirsty +tea-drinkers as we had still to receive. I noted that they called it tea +regardless of the contents of the urn, which changed first to coffee and +then to cocoa as the night wore on: tea was the generic term. + +At last the smarter and tarter of the two orderlies, he who compounded +the contents of the urns, sidled without ceremony to the commander's +elbow. + +'It wants a minute to the 'alf-hour, sir.' + +Gramophone alone could give the husky tone of chronic injury, palette +and brush the red eyes of resentment turned upon his kind beyond the +counter. Our leader consulted his wrist-watch with a brisk gesture. + +'I'll serve the next six men,' he ultimated, and the seventh man knocked +at his heart in vain. Green curtains closed the counter in the wistful +faces of the rest; if I can see them still, it is the heavenly music of +those curtain-rings that I hear! The mind's eye peeps through once more, +and spies the last gobblers at the splashed tables littered with mugs +and empty tins; the last dawdlers on a floor ankle-deep in the envelopes +of twopenny and half-franc packets of biscuits; and a little man +broom-in-hand at the open door, spoiling to sweep all the lot into +outer darkness. + +In the kitchen, while both orderlies fell straight to work upon this +Augean scene, our versatile leader, as little daunted by the hour, gave +further expression to his personality in an omelette worthy of the +country, and in lashings of Suchard cocoa made with a master hand. I +remember with much gratitude that he also made my yawning bed, and that +we turned in early to the tune of rain: + + A fusillade upon the roof, + A tattoo on the pane. + +Only the pane was canvas, and the fusillade accompanied by some local +music from the guns outside the town. + + +A HANDFUL OF MEN + +As 'the true love-story commences at the altar,' so the real work of a +hut only begins at the counter. You may turn out to be the disguised +prince of salesmen, and yet fail to deliver the goods that really +matter. I am not thinking of 'goody' goods at all, but of the worker's +personality such as it may be. It is not more essential for an actor to +'get across the footlights' than it is for the Y.M.C.A. counter-jumper +to start by clearing that obstacle, and mixing with the men for all he +can show himself to be worth. + +The Ark was such a busy canteen that all this is easier said than it was +done. Every morning we were kept at it as continuously from eleven to +one as ever we were from four-thirty to eight-thirty. Those were our +business hours; and though it was never quite such fierce shopping in +the forenoon, it was then that the leader would go off in quest of fresh +supplies and I was apt to be left in charge. This happened my very first +morning. Shall I ever forget the intimidating multitude of Army boots +seen under the door before we opened! And there was another of the early +days, when the Somersets stormed our parapet in full fighting +paraphernalia, with only me to stand up to them. Not much chance of +foregathering then; but never an hour, seldom a single transaction +within the hour, but brought me from the other side some quaint remark, +some adorable display of patience, courtesy, or homely fun. The change +difficulty was chronic, and mutually most exasperating; it was over that +stile the men were always helping each other or helping me, with never a +trace of the irritation I felt myself. They were the most delightful +customers one could wish to serve. But that made it the more tantalising +to have but a word with them on business. My young chief was once more +my better here; he had only to be behind the counter to 'get across' as +much as he liked, and in as few words. But I required a slack half-hour +when I could take my pipe down the hut and seek out some solitary, or +make overtures to the man at the piano. + +It was generally the man's chum who responded in the first instance; for +every AEneas in the new legions has his staunch Achates, who collects the +praise as for the firm, adding his own mite in a beaming whisper. 'He +has his own choir in Edinburgh,' said one Jock of another who was +playing and singing the Scottish songs with urgent power. The piano is +the surest touchstone in a hut. It brings out the man of talent--but +also the bore who hammers with one thick-skinned finger--but also the +prevailing lenience that puts up with the bore. I _have_ been entreated +to keep my piano locked and the key in the till; and once on the counter +I found an anonymous notice, with a line requesting me to affix it to +the instrument without delay: 'If you do play, do play--If you don't +play, don't!' But a pianist of any pretensions has a crowd round him in +a minute; and a splendid little audience it always is. The set concert, +as I heard it, was not a patch on these unpremeditated recitals. + +One night the hut was full of Riflemen, one of whom was strumming away +to his own contentment, but with only the usual trusty chum for +audience. I brought my pipe to the other side of the piano, and the +performer got up and talked across to me for nearly an hour. He was a +dark little garrulous fellow of no distinction, and he talked best with +his eyes upon the keyboard, but the chum's broad grin of eager +admiration never ceased to ply between us. The little Rifleman had borne +a charmed life indeed, especially on Passchendaele Ridge, the scene of +his latest misadventures. He was as idiomatic as Ortheris in his +generation, but I only remember: 'I looked a fair Bairnsfather, not +'alf!' He was the nearest approach to a 'Bairnsfather' I ever +encountered in the flesh, but the compliment to the draughtsman is no +smaller for that. A third Rifleman, less demonstratively uncritical than +the chum, joined the party; and at the end I ventured to ask all three +in turn what they had been doing before the war. + +'I,' said the little man, 'was a house-painter at Crewe.' + +'And I,' said the grinning chum, 'was conductor of a 28 motor-'bus. I +expect we've often dropped you at the Y.M.C.A. in Tottenham Court Road, +sir.' + +'And you?'--I turned to the last comer--'if it isn't a rude question?' + +'Oh, I,' said he, with the pride that would conceal itself, 'I'm in the +building line. But I operate a bioscope at night!' + +The historic present put his attitude in a nutshell. He might have been +operating that bioscope the night before, be due back the next, and just +having a look at things in France on his night off. His expert eye was +not perceptibly impressed with the spectacle of war as he was seeing it +off the films; but the house-painter seemed to be making the most of his +long holiday from house-painting, and my old friend the conductor did +not sigh in my hearing for his 28. + +I took the party back with me to the counter, where they honoured me by +partaking of cocoa and biscuits as my guests. It was all there was to +do for three such hardy and mature philosophers; and I never saw or +heard of them again, long as their cap-badge set me looking for one or +other of their pleasant faces underneath. It was always rather sad when +we had made friends with a man who never came near us again. In times of +heavy fighting it was no wonder, but in the winter it seemed in the +nature of a black mark against the hut. + +There were two other Riflemen who were in that night, and hit me harder +in a softer spot. They were both tragically young, one of them a pretty +boy in a muffler that might have been knitted by any mother in the land. +They were not enjoying their war, these two, but they smiled none the +less as they let it out; they had come in of their own free will, as +soon as ever their tender years allowed, and survived all the carnage of +the Somme and of Passchendaele. They could afford to smile; but they had +also outlived their romantic notions of a war, and were too young to +bear it willingly in any other spirit. They had honest shudders for the +horrors they had seen, and they frankly loathed going back into the mud +or ice of the December trenches. + +'Every time,' said the pretty boy, as they took cocoa with me, 'it seems +worse.' + +'But for the Y.M.C.A.,' said the other, with simple feeling, 'I believe +I should have gone mad.' + +That was something to hear. But what was there to say to such a pair? +One had been a clerk in Huddersfield; the other, a shade less gentle, +but, to equalise the appeal, an only child, foreman of some works in +Derbyshire. Indubitably they were both wishing themselves back in their +old situations; but equally without a doubt they were both still proud +of the act of sacrifice which had brought them to this. The last was the +frame of mind to recall by hook or crook. One can be proud of such boys, +even if their spirit is not all it was, and so perhaps make them prouder +of themselves; the hard case is the man who waited for compulsion, who +has no old embers of loyalty or enterprise to coax into a modest flame. +This type takes a lot of waking up, and yet, like other heavy sleepers, +once awake may do as well as any. + +At the foot of our hut, beyond piano, billiard-table, and platform (only +the case the billiard-table had come in), was the Quiet Room in which +the men were entitled to read and write without interruption. One of +those first nights I peeped in there with my pipe, at a moment of +fourfold psychology. + +In one corner two men were engaged in some form of violent prayer or +intercession; not on their knees, but seated side by side. One, and he +much the younger of the two, appeared to be wrestling for the other's +soul, to be at all but physical grips with some concrete devil of his +inner vision; at any rate he was making a noise that entirely destroyed +the character of our Quiet Room. But the other occupants, so far from +complaining, seemed equally wrapped up in their own affairs, and +oblivious to the pother. The third man was writing a tremendous letter, +at great speed, face and hands and flying pencil strongly lighted by a +candle-end almost under his nose, more shame for our poor lamplight! The +fourth and last of the party, a good-looking Guardsman with a puzzled +frown, poising the pencil of an unready scribe, at once invoked my aid +in another form of literary enterprise. He was making his will in his +field pocket-book; could I tell him how to spell the pretty name of one +of his little daughters? Would I mind looking it all over, and seeing if +it would do? + +'Going up the Line for the first time on Tuesday,' he explained, 'and +it's as well to be prepared.' + +He was perfectly calm about it. He had thought of everything; his wife, +I remember, was to have 'the float and the two horses, to do the best +she can with'; but the little girls were specifically remembered, and +the identity of each clinched by their surname after the one that took +more spelling. A dairyman, I imagined from his mild phlegmatic face; +but it seemed he was the village butcher somewhere in Leicestershire. +His date of enrolment bespoke either the conscript or the eleventh-hour +volunteer, and his sad air made me decide which in my own mind. He had +obviously no stomach for the trenches, but on the other hand he showed +no fear. It was the kind of passive courage I longed to fan into +enthusiasm, but knew I never could. I am glad I had not the impertinence +to try. Two or three weeks later, I found myself serving a delightfully +gay and jaunty Guardsman, in whom I suddenly recognised my friend. + +'Come back all right, then?' I could only say. + +'Rather!' said he, with schoolboy gusto. He was another being; the +trenches themselves had wrought the change. I would not put a V.C. past +that butcher if he is still alive, or past any other tardy patriot for +that matter. Patriotism is a ray of inner light, and may never even come +to a glow of carnal courage; on the other hand, it is the greatest +mistake to impute cowardice to the shirker. Selfishness is oftener the +restraining power, insensibility oftener still. After all, even in the +officer class, it was not everybody who could see that personal +considerations ceased to exist on the day war broke out. This busy +butcher had been a fine man all the time, and not unnaturally taken up +with the price of sheep, the tricks of the weather, the wife and the +little girls. May the float and the two horses yet be his to drive more +furiously than of old! + +A few nights later still, and the pretty ex-clerk was smiling through +his collar of soft muffler across the counter. He, too, had made his +tour without disaster, or as much discomfort as he feared, and so had +his chum the whilom foreman. These reunions were always a delight to me, +sometimes a profound reassurance and relief. But those first three jolly +Riflemen had vanished from my ken, and I wish I knew their fate. + + +SUNDAY ON BOARD + +I see from my diary it was on a Sunday night I found that memorable +quartette so diversely employed in our Quiet Room. So, after all, there +had been something to lead up to the most singular feature of the scene. +Sunday is Sunday in a Y.M.C.A. hut, and in ours it was no more a day of +rest than it is in any regular place of worship; for that is exactly +what we were privileged to provide for a very famous Division whose +headquarters were then in our immediate neighbourhood. + +Overnight the orderlies would work late arranging the chairs +church-fashion, moving the billiard-table, and preparing the platform +for a succession of morning services. These might begin with a +celebration of the Holy Communion at nine, to be followed by a C. of E. +parade service at ten and one for mixed Nonconformists, or possibly for +Presbyterians only, at eleven; the order might be reversed, and the +opening celebration was not inevitable; but the preparations were the +same for all denominations and all degrees of ceremonial. + +In a secular sense the hut was closed all morning. But in our private +precincts those Sabbaths were not so easy to observe. The free forenoon +was too good a chance to count the week's takings, amounting in a busy +canteen like ours to several thousand francs; this took even a quick +hand all his time, what with the small foul notes that first defied the +naked eye, and then fell to shreds between the fingers; and often have I +watched my gay young leader, his confidence ruffled by an alien frown, +slaving like a miser between a cross-fire of stentorian hymns. For the +cinema, ever our rival, was in similar request between the same hours; +and we were lucky if the selfsame hymn, in different keys and stages, +did not smite simultaneously upon either ear. + +On a Sunday afternoon we opened at four instead of half-past, and drove +a profane trade as merrily as in the week until the hut service at +six-thirty. During service the counter was closed; and after service, in +our hut, we drew a firm line at tea and biscuits for what was left of +the working night. + +Neither of ourselves being ordained of any denomination, we as a rule +requisitioned one of the many ministers among the Y.M.C.A. workers in +our district to preach the sermon and offer up the prayers: almost +invariably he was the shepherd of some Nonconformist fold at home, and a +speaker born or made. But the men themselves set matters going, +congregating at the platform end and singing hymns--their favourite +hymns--not many of them mine--for a good half-hour before the pastor was +due to appear. Of course, only a proportion of those present joined in; +but it was a surprising proportion; and the uncritical forbearance of +those who did not take part used to impress me quite as much as the +unflinching fervour of those who did. But then it is not too soon to say +that in all my months in an Army area I never once saw or heard +Religion, in any shape or form, flouted by look or word. + +The hymns were always started by the same man, a spectacled N.C.O. in a +Red Cross unit, with a personality worthy of his stripes. I think he +must have been a street preacher before the war; at any rate he used to +get leave to hold a service of his own on Tuesday evenings, and I have +listened to his sermon more than once. Indeed, it was impossible not to +listen, every rasping word of the uncompromising harangue being more +than audible at our end of the hut, no matter what we were doing. The +man had an astounding flow of spiritual invective, at due distance the +very drum-fire of withering anathema, but sorry stuff of a familiar +order at close range. It was impossible not to respect this red-hot +gospeller, who knew neither fear nor doubt, nor the base art of mincing +words; and he had a strong following among the men, who seemed to enjoy +his onslaughts, whether they took them to heart or not. But I liked him +better on a Sunday evening, when his fiery spirit was content to 'warm +the stage' for some meek minister by a preliminary service of right +hearty song. + +But those ministers were wonders in their way; not a man of them so meek +upon the platform, nor one but had the knack of fluent, pointed, and +courageous speech. They spoke without notes, from the break of the +platform, like tight-sleeved conjurors; and they spoke from their hearts +to many that beat the faster for their words. In that congregation there +were no loath members; only those who liked need sit and listen; the +rest were free to follow their own devices, within certain necessary +limitations. The counter, to be sure, had those green curtains drawn +across it for the nonce. But all at that end of the hut were welcome as +ever to their game of draughts, their cigarettes and newspapers, even +their murmur of conversation. It generally happened, however, that the +murmur died away as the preacher warmed to his work, and the bulk of the +address was followed in attentive silence by all present. I used to +think this a greater than any pulpit triumph ever won; and when it was +all over, and the closing hymn had been sung with redoubled fervour, a +knot of friendly faces would waylay the minister on his passage up the +hut. + +And yet how much of his success was due to the sensitive response of +these simple-hearted, uncomplaining travellers in the valley of Death! +No work of man is easier to criticise than a sermon, no sort of +criticism cheaper or maybe in poorer taste; and yet I have felt, with +all envy of their gift and their sincerity, that even these powerful +preachers were, many of them, missing their great opportunity, missing +the obvious point. Morality was too much their watchword, Sin the too +frequent burden of their eloquence. It is not as sinners that we should +view the men who are fighting for us in the great war against +international sin. They are soldiers of Christ if ever such drew sword; +then let them contemplate the love of Christ, and its human reflex in +their own heroic hearts, not the cleft in the hoof of all who walk this +earth! That, and the grateful love we also bear them, who cannot fight +ourselves, seem to me the gist of war-time Christianity: that, and the +immortality of the soul they may be rendering up at any moment for our +sake and for His. + +It is hateful to think of these great men in the light of their little +sins. What thistledown to weigh against their noble sacrifice! Yet +there are those who expatiate on soldiers' sins as though the same men +had never committed any in their unregenerate civil state, before +putting hand to the redemption of the world; who would charge every +frailty to the war's account, as if vice had not flourished, to common +knowledge and the despair of generations, in idyllic villages untouched +by any previous war, and run like a poisoned vein through all the +culture of our towns. The point is not that the worst has still to be +eradicated out of poor human nature, but that the best as we know it now +is better than the best we dared to dream in happier days. + +Such little sins as they denounce, and ask to be forgiven in the +sinner's name! Bad language, for one; as if the low thoughtless word +should seriously belittle the high deliberate deed! The decencies of +language let us by all manner of means observe, but as decencies, not as +virtues without which a man shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Taste +is the bed-rock of this matter, and what is harmless at one's own +fireside might well empty a public hall and put the police in +possession. To stigmatise mere coarseness of speech as a first-class sin +is to defeat an admirable end by the unwitting importation of a false +yet not unnatural glamour. + +The thing does matter, because the modern soldier is less 'full of +strange oaths' than of certain _facons de parler_ which must not be +suffered to pass into the currency of the village ale-house after the +war. They are base coin, very; but still the primary offence is against +manners, not morals; and public opinion, not pulpit admonition, is the +thing to put it down. + +In a Y.M.C.A. hut the wise worker will not hear very much more than he +is meant to hear; but there are times when only a coward or a fool would +hold his own tongue, and that is when an ounce of tact is worth a ton of +virtue. It is well to consider every minute what the men are going +through, how entirely the refining influence of their womankind has +passed out of their lives, and how noticeably far from impropriety are +the thoughts that clothe themselves in this grotesque and hateful habit +of speech. + +Let me close a tender topic with the last word thereon, as spoken by a +Canadian from Vimy Ridge, who came into my hut (months later, when I had +one of my own) but slightly sober, yet more so than his friends, with +whom remonstrance became imperative. + +'I say! I say!' one had to call down from the counter. 'The language is +getting pretty thick down there!' + +'Beg pardon, sir. Very sorry,' said my least inebriated friend, at once; +then, after a moment's thought--'But the shells is pretty thick where we +come from!' + +It was a better answer than he knew. + + + + +CHRISTMAS UP THE LINE + +(1917) + + +UNDER FIRE + +Soon the shy wintry sun was wearing a veil of frosted silver. The eye of +the moon was on us early in the afternoon, ever a little wider open and +a degree colder in its stare. All one day our mud rang like an anvil to +the tramp of rubicund customers in greatcoats and gloves; and the next +day they came and went like figures on the film next-door, silent and +outstanding upon a field of dazzling snow. + +But behind the counter we had no such seasonable sights to cheer us; +behind the counter, mugs washed overnight needed wrenching off their +shelf, and three waistcoats were none too many. In our room, for all the +stove that reddened like a schoolgirl, and all the stoking that we did +last thing at night, no amount of sweaters, blankets, and miscellaneous +wraps was excessive provision against the early morning. By dawn, which +leant like lead against our canvas windows, and poked sticks of icy +light through a dozen holes and crannies, the only unfrozen water in +the hut was in the kitchen boiler and in my own hot-water bottle. I made +no bones about this trusty friend; it hung all day on a conspicuous +nail; and it did not prevent me from being the first up in the morning, +any more than modesty shall deter me from trumpeting the fact. One of us +had to get up to lay the stove and light the fire, and it was my chance +of drawing approximately even with my brisk commander. No competing with +his invidious energy once he had taken the deck; but here was a march I +could count on stealing while he slept the sleep of the young. Often I +was about before the orderlies, and have seen the two rogues lying on +their backs in the dim light of their kitchen, side by side like huge +dirty children. As for me, blackened and bent double by my exertions, +swaddled in fleece lining and other scratch accoutrements, no doubt I +looked the lion grotesque of the party; but, by the time the wood +crackled and the chimney drew, I too had my inner glow. + +So we reached the shortest day; then came a break, and for me the +Christmas outing of a lifetime. + +The Y.M.C.A. in that sector had just started an outpost of free cheer in +the support line. It was a new departure for the winter only, a kind of +cocoa-kitchen in the trenches, and we were all very eager to take our +turn as cooks. The post was being manned by relays of the workers in our +area, one at a time and for a week apiece; but at Christmas there were +to be substantial additions to the nightly offering. It was the obvious +thing to suggest that extra help would be required, and to volunteer for +the special duty. But one may jump at such a chance and yet feel a +sneaking thrill of morbid apprehension, and yet again enjoy the whole +thing the more for that very feeling. Such was my case as I lit the fire +on the morning of the 21st of December, foolishly wondering whether I +should ever light it again. By all accounts our pitch up the Line was +none too sheltered in any sense, and the severity of the weather was not +the least intimidating prospect. But for forty mortal months I would +have given my right eye to see trench life with my left; and I was still +prepared to strike that bargain and think it cheap. + +The man already on the spot was coming down to take me back with him: we +met at our headquarters over the mid-day meal, by which time my romantic +experience had begun. I had walked the ruined streets in a shrapnel +helmet, endeavouring to look as though it belonged to me, and had worn a +gas-mask long enough to hope I might never have to do so for dear life. +The other man had been wearing his in a gas-alarm up the Line; he had +also been missed by a sniper, coming down the trench that morning; and +had much to say about a man who had not been missed, but had lain, +awaiting burial, all the day before on the spot where we were to spend +our Christmas ... It was three o'clock and incipient twilight when we +made a start. + +Our little headquarters Ford 'bus took us the first three miles, over +the snow of a very famous battle-field, not a whole year old in history, +to the mouth of a valley planted with our guns. Alighting here we made +as short work of that valley as appearances permitted, each with a +shifty eye for the next shell-hole in case of need; there were plenty of +them, including some extremely late models, but it was not our lot to +see the collection enlarged. Neither had our own batteries anything to +say over our heads; and presently the trenches received us in fair +order, if somewhat over-heated. I speak for myself and that infernal +fleece lining, which I had buttoned back into its proper place. It alone +precluded an indecent haste. + +But in the trenches we could certainly afford to go slower, and I for +one was not sorry. It was too wonderful to be in them in the flesh. They +were almost just what I had always pictured them; a little narrower, +perhaps; and the unbroken chain of duck-boards was a feature not +definitely foreseen; and the printed sign-boards had not the expected +air of a joke, might rather have been put up by order of the London +County Council. But the extreme narrowness was a surprise, and indeed +would have taken my breath away had I met my match in some places. An +ordinary gaunt warrior caused me to lean hard against my side of the +trench, and to apologise rather freely as he squeezed past; a file of +them in leather jerkins, with snow on their toe-caps and a twinkle under +their steel hat-brims, almost tempted me to take a short cut over the +top. I wondered would I have got very far, or dropped straight back into +the endless open grave of the communication trench. + +Seen from afar, as I knew of old, that was exactly what the trenches +looked like; but from the inside they appeared more solid and rather +deeper than any grave dug for the dead. The whole thing put me more in +mind of primitive ship-building--the great ribs leaning outwards--flat +timbers in between--and over all sand-bags and sometimes wire-work with +the precise effect of bulwarks and hammock-netting. Even the mouths of +dug-outs were not unlike port-holes flush with the deck; and many a +piquant glimpse we caught in passing, bits of faces lit by +cigarette-ends and half-sentences or snatches of sardonic song; then +the trench would twist round a corner into solitude, as a country road +shakes off a hamlet, and on we trudged through the thickening dusk. +Once, where the sand-bags were lower than I had noticed, I thought some +very small bird had chirped behind my head, until the other man turned +his and smiled. + +'Hear that?' he said. 'That was a bullet! It's just about where they +sniped at _me_ this morning.' + +I shortened my stick, and crept the rest of the way like the oldest +inhabitant of those trenches, as perhaps I was. + + +CASUALTIES + +It was nearly dark when our journey ended at one of those sunken roads +which make a name for themselves on all battle-fields, and duly +complicate the Western Front. Sometimes they cut the trench as a level +crossing does a street, and then it is not a bad rule to cross as though +a train were coming. Sometimes it is the trench that intersects the +sunken road; this happened here. We squeezed through a gap in the +sand-bags, a gap exactly like a stile in a stone fence, and from our +feet the bleak road rose with a wild effect into the wintry sunset. + +It was a road of some breadth, but all crinkled and misshapen in its +soiled bandage of frozen snow. Palpable shell-holes met a touchy eye for +them on every side; one, as clean-cut as our present footprints, +literally adjoined a little low sand-bagged shelter, of much the same +dimensions as a blackfellow's gunyah in the bush. This inviting +habitation served as annex to a small enough hut at least three times +its size; the two cowered end to end against the sunken roadside, each +roof a bit of bank-top in more than camouflage, with real grass doing +its best to grow in real sods. + +'No,' said the other man, 'only the second half of the hut's our hut. +This first half's a gum-boot store. The sand-bagged hutch at the end of +all things is where we sleep.' + +The three floors were sunk considerably below the level of the road, and +a sunken track of duck-boards outside the semi-detached huts was like +the bottom of a baby trench. We looked into our end; it was colder and +darker than the open air, but cubes of packing-case and a capacious +boiler took stark shape in the gloom. + +'I should think we might almost start our fire,' said the other man. 'We +daren't by daylight, on account of the smoke; we should have a shell on +us in no time. As it is, we only get waifs and strays from their +machine-guns; but one took the rim off a man's helmet, as neat as you +could do it with a pair of shears, only last night out here on these +duck-boards.' + +Yet those duck-boards outside the hut were the next best cover to the +hut itself; accordingly the men greatly preferred waiting about in the +open road, which the said machine-guns could spray at pleasure on the +chance of laying British dust. So I gathered from the other man: so I +very soon saw for myself. Night had fallen, and at last we had lighted +our boiler fire, with the help of a raw-boned orderly supplied by the +battalion of Jocks then holding the front line. And the boiler fire had +retaliated by smoking all three of us out of the hut. + +This was an initial fiasco of each night I was there; to it I owe sights +that I can still see as plain as the paper under my pen, and bits of +dialogue and crashes of orchestral gun-fire, maddeningly impossible to +reproduce. Are there no gramophone records of such things? If not, I +make a present of the idea to those whom it officially concerns. They +are as badly needed as any films, and might be more easily obtained. + +The frosty moon was now nearly full, and a grey-mauve sky, wearing just +the one transcendent jewel of light, as brilliant in its way as the +dense blue of equatorial noon. Upon this noble slate the group of armed +men, waiting about in the road above the duck-boards, was drawn in +shining outline; silvered rifles slung across coppery leathern +shoulders; earthenware mugs turned to silver goblets in their hands, and +each tilted helmet itself a little fallen moon. A burst of gun-fire, and +not a helmet turned; the rat-tat-tat of a machine-gun, but no shining +shoulder twinkled with the tiniest shrug. And yet the devil's orchestra +might have been tuning up at their feet, under the very stage they trod +with culpable unconcern. + +Two melodramatic little situations (as they seemed to me, but not to +them) came about for our immediate benefit, and in appropriately quick +succession as I remember them. A wounded Jock figured in each; neither +was a serious case; the first one too light, it was feared, to score at +all. The man did just come limping along our duck-boards, but only very +slightly, though I rather think a comrade's arm played a fifth-wheel +part in the proceedings. It was only a boot that had been sliced across +the instep. A shoemaker's knife could not have made a cleaner job so +far; but 'a bit graze on ma fut' was all the sufferer himself could +claim, amid a murmur of sympathy that seemed exaggerated, ill as it +became a civilian even to think so. + +The other casualty was a palpable hit in the fore-arm. First aid had +been applied, including an empty sand-bag as top bandage, before the +wounded man appeared with his escort in the moonlight; but now there was +a perverse shortage of that very commiseration which had been lavished +upon the man with the wounded boot. This was a real wound, 'a Blighty +one' and its own reward: the man who could time matters to so cynical a +nicety with regard to Christmas, and then only 'get it in the arrum,' +which notoriously means a long time rather than a bad one, was obviously +not a man to be pitied. He was a person to be plied with the driest +brand of North British persiflage. Signs of grim envy did not spoil the +joke, for there were those of as grim a magnanimity behind it all; and +the pale lad himself, taking their nonsense in the best of part, yet +shyly, as though they had a right to complain, and he only wished they +could all have been wounded and sent home together, was their match in +simple subtlety and hidden kindness. And between them all they were +better worth seeing and hearing than the moonlight and the guns. + +It is easy to make too much of a trifle that was not one to me, but in a +sense my first casualty, almost a poignant experience. But there are no +trifles in the trenches in the dead of winter; there is not enough +happening; everything that does happen is magnified accordingly; and the +one man hit on a quiet day is a greater celebrity than the last survivor +of his platoon in the day of big things. The one man gets an audience, +and the audience has time to think twice about him. + +In the same way nothing casts a heavier gloom than an isolated death in +action, such as the one which had occurred here only the previous day. +All ranks were still talking about the man who had lain unburied where +his comrades were now laughing in the moonlight; detail upon detail I +heard before the night was out, and all had the pathos of the isolated +case, the vividness of a portrait as against a group. The man had been a +Lewis gunner, and he had died flushed with the crowning success of his +career. That was the consoling detail: in his last week on earth, in +full view of friend and foe, he had brought off the kind of shot a whole +battalion boasts about. His bird still lay on No-Man's Land, a jumble of +wire and mangled planes; not the sight to sober a successful sportsman, +and him further elated by the promise of special and immediate leave. No +time for a lad of his mettle to weary of well-doing; and he knew of a +sniper worth adding to his bag. The sniper, however, would seem to have +known of him, and in the ensuing duel took special care of himself. Not +so the swollen-hearted sportsman who was going on leave and meant +earning it. Many shots had been exchanged without result; at last, +unable to bear it any longer, our poor man had leapt upon the parapet, +only to drop back like a stone, shot dead not by the other duellist but +by a second sniper posted elsewhere for the purpose. And this tragically +ordinary tragedy was all the talk that night over the mugs. Grim +snatches linger. One quite sorrowful chum regretted the other's braces, +buried with him and of all things the most useless in a grave, and he +himself in need of a new pair. It did seem as though he might have +taken them off the body, and with the flown spirit's hearty sanction. + +They did not say where they had buried him, but our sunken roadside was +not without its own wooden cross of older standing. It was the tiniest +and flimsiest I ever saw, and yet it had stood through other days, when +the road was in other hands; those other hands must have put it up. 'An +Unknown British Hero of the R.F.A.' was all the legend they had left to +endure with this ironical tenacity. + +About midnight we came to an end of our water, supplied each morning by +a working-party detailed for the job: with more water we might have done +worse than keep open all night and kill the bitter day with sleep. As it +was, we were soon creeping through a man-hole curtained by a frozen +blanket into the corrugated core of the sand-bagged gunyah. It was as +much as elbow-high down the middle of the span; the beds were side by +side, so close together that we had to get in by the foot; and only for +a wager would I have attempted to undress in the space remaining. + +But not for any money on such a night! A particularly feeble oil-stove, +but all we had to warm the hut by day, had been doing what it could for +us here at the eleventh hour; but all it had done was to stud the roof +with beads of moisture and draw the damp out of the blankets. We got +between them in everything except our boots; even trench-coats were not +discarded, nor fleece linings any longer to be despised. The other man +was soon asleep. But I had provided myself with appropriate reading, and +for some time burnt a candle to old James Grant and _The Romance of +War_. + +There are those who delight in declaring there is no romance in this +war; there was enough for me that night. Not many inches from my side +the nearest shell had burst, not many days ago by some miracle without +blowing in a sand-bag; not many inches from my head, and perhaps no +deeper in the earth, lay the skull of our 'unknown hero of the R.F.A.' I +for one did not sleep the worse for his honoured company, or for our +common lullaby the guns. + + +AN INTERRUPTED LUNCH + +But there was another side to our life up the line, thanks to the regal +hospitality of Battalion Headquarters. Thither we were bidden to all +meals, and there we presented ourselves with feverish punctuality at +least three times a day. + +It was only about a minute's walk along the trench, past more dug-outs +lit by cigarette-ends, past a trench store-cupboard quietly labelled +BOMBS, and a sentry in a sand-bagged _cul-de-sac_. The door at which we +knocked was no more imposing than our own, the sanctuary within no +roomier, but like the deck-house of a well-appointed yacht after a +tramp's forecastle. Art-green walls and fixed settees, a narrow table +all spotless napery and sparkling glass, forks and spoons as brilliant +as a wedding-present, all these were there or I have dreamt them. I +would even swear to flowers on the table, if it were a case of swearing +one way or other. But what they gave us to eat, with two exceptions, I +cannot in the least remember; it was immaterial in that atmosphere and +company, though I recall the other man's bated breathings on the point. +My two exceptions were porridge at breakfast and scones at tea; both +were as authentic as the mess-waiter's speech; and it would not have +surprised me if the porridge had been followed by trout from the burn, +so much was that part of the Line just then a part of Scotland. + +It was a genial atmosphere in more ways than one. Always on coming in +one's spectacles turned to ground-glass and one's out-door harness to +melting lead. The heat came up an open stairway from the bowels of the +earth, as did the chimney which I painfully mistook for a hand-rail the +first night, when the Colonel was kind enough to take me down below. It +was the first deep dug-out I had seen in working order, and it seemed to +me deliciously safe and snug; the officers' berths in fascinating tiers, +again as on shipboard, all but the Colonel's own, by itself at one end. +It made me very jealous, yet rather proud, when I thought of our +freezing lair upon the sunken road. + +Then, before we went, he took me up to an O.P. on top of all. I think we +climbed up to it out of the _cul-de-sac_, and I know I cowered behind a +chunk of parapet; but what I remember best is the zig-zag labyrinth in +the foreground, that unending open grave with upturned earth complete, +yet quiet as any that ever was filled in; and then the wide sweep of +moonlit snow, enemy country nearly all, but at the moment still and +peaceful as an arctic floe. Our own trenches the only solid signs of +war, like the properties in front of a panorama; not a shot or a sound +to give the rest more substance than a painted back-cloth. It was one of +those dead pauses that occur on all but the noisiest nights, and make +the whole war nowhere more unreal than on the battle-field. + +But when the very next day was at its quietest we had just the opposite +experience. We were sitting at luncheon in this friendly mess, and the +guns might have been a thousand miles away until they struck up all at +once, like a musical-box in the middle of a tune. Their guns, this time; +but you would not have thought it from the faces round the table. One or +two exchanged glances; a lifted eyebrow was answered by a smile; but the +conversation went on just the same until the officer nearest the door +withdrew detachedly. New subject no longer avoidable, but treated with +becoming levity. Not a bombardment, just a Strafe, we gathered; it might +have been with blank shell, had we not heard them bursting. Exit another +officer; enter man from below. Something like telegram in his hand: +retaliation requested by front line. 'Put it through to Brigade.' +Further retirements from board; less noise for moment. New sound: enemy +'plane over us, seeing what they've done. New row next door: our +machine-guns on enemy 'plane! New note in distance: retaliation to +esteemed order.... Other man and I alone at table, dying to go out and +see fun, but obviously not our place. And then in a minute it is all +over, not quite as quickly as it began, but getting on that way. Strafe +stopped: 'plane buzzing away again: machine-guns giving it up as a bad +job: cheery return of Belisarii, in the order of their going, Colonel +last and cheeriest of all. + +'Had my hair parted by a whizz-bang,' says he, 'up in that O.P. we were +in last night.' + +And, as he replenished a modest cup, the curtain might have fallen on +the only line I remember in the whole impromptu piece, which could not +have played quicker as a music-hall sketch, or held a packed audience +more entranced than the two civilian supers who had the luck to be on +the stage. + +But we had to pay for our entertainment; for although it turned out to +have been an absolutely bloodless Strafe, yet a portion of our parapet +had been blown in, which made it inexpedient for us to go round the +front line that afternoon, as previously arranged by our indulgent +hosts. In the evening they were going into reserve, and another famous +Regiment coming to 'take over.' The new-comers, however, were just as +good to us in their turn; and the new Colonel so kind as to take me +round himself on Christmas morning. + + +CHRISTMAS DAY + +The tiny hut is an abode of darkness made visible by a single candle, +mounted in its own grease in the worst available position for giving +light, lest the opening of the door cast the faintest beam into the +sunken road outside. On the shelf flush with the door glimmer parental +urns with a large family of condensed-milk tins, opened and unopened, +full and empty; packing-cases in similar stages litter the duck-board +flooring, or pile it wall-high in the background; trench-coats, +gas-masks, haversacks and helmets hang from nails or repose on a ledge +of the inner wall, which is sunken roadside naked and unashamed. Two +weary figures cower over the boiler fire; they are the other man and yet +another who has come up for the night. A third person, who may look more +like me than I feel like him, hovers behind them, smoking and peering at +his watch. It is the last few minutes of Christmas Eve, and for a long +hour there has been little or nothing doing. Earlier in the evening, +from seven or so onwards, there seemed no end to the queue of armed men, +calling for their mug of cocoa and their packet of biscuits, either +singly, each for himself, or with dixies and sand-bags to be filled for +comrades on duty in the trenches. + +The quiet has been broken only by the sibilant song of the boiler, by +desultory conversation and bursts of gunfire as spasmodic and +inconsequent. Often a machine-gun has beaten a brief but furious tattoo +on the doors of darkness; but now come clogged and ponderous +footfalls--mud to mud on the duck-boards leading from the communication +trench--and a chit is handed in from the outer moonlight. + + '24--12--17. + + 'To Y.M.C.A. Canteen, + '---- Avenue. + + 'DEAR SIRS,--I will be much obliged if you will supply + the bearer with hot cocoa (sufficient for 90 men) + which I understand you are good enough to issue to + units in this line. The party are taking 2 hot-food + containers for the purpose. + + 'Thanking you in anticipation, + 'I am, yours faithfully, + '(Illegible), + 'O/C B Co., + '1/8 (Undesirable).' + +Torpid trio are busy men once more. Not enough cocoa ready-made for +ninety; fresh brew under way in fewer seconds than it takes to state +the fact. Third person already anchored beside open packing-case, +enormous sand-bag gaping between his knees, little sealed packets flying +through his hands from box to bag in twins and triplets. By now it is +Christmas morning; cakes and cigarettes are forthwith added to statutory +biscuits, and a sack is what is wanted. Third person makes shift with +second sand-bag, which having filled, he leaves his colleagues working +like benevolent fiends in the steam of fragrant cauldrons, and joins the +group outside among the shell-holes. + +They are consuming interim dividends of the nightly fare, as they stand +about in steely silhouette against the shrouded moonlight. The scene is +not quite so picturesque as it was last night, when no star of heaven +could live in the light of the frosty moon and every helmet was a +shining halo; to-night the only twinkle to be seen is under a helmet's +rim. + +'Merry Christmas, sir, an' many of 'em,' says a Tyneside voice, getting +in the first shot of a severe bombardment. The third person retaliates +with appropriate spirit; the interchange could not have been franker or +heartier in the days of actual peace on earth and apparent good-will +among men. But here they both are for a little space this Christmas +morning. Cannon may drum it in with thunderous irony, and some +corner-man behind a machine-gun oblige with what sounds exactly like a +solo on the bones, but here in the midst of those familiar alarms the +Spirit of Christmas is abroad on the battle-field. He may be frightened +away--or become a casualty--at any moment. One lucky flourish with the +bones, one more addition to these sharp-edged shell-holes, and how many +of the party would have a groan left in him? One of them groans in +spirit as he thinks, never so vividly, of countless groups as full of +gay vitality as this one, blown out of existence in a blinding flash. +But his hardy friends are above such morbid imaginings; the cold appears +to be their only trouble, and of it they make light enough as they stamp +their feet. Some are sea-booted in sand-bags, and what with their +jerkins and low, round helmets, look more like a watch in oilskins and +sou'-westers than a party of Infantry. + +'We nevaw died o' wintaw yet,' says the Tynesider. 'It takes a lot to +kill an old soljaw.' But he owns he was a shipyard hand before the war; +and not one of them was in the Army. + +All hope it is the last Christmas of the war, but the Tyneside +prognostication of 'anothaw ten yeaws' is received with perfect +equanimity. There is general agreement, too, when the same oracle +dismisses the latest peace offer as 'blooff.' But it must be confessed +that articulate ardour is slightly damped until somebody starts a +subject a great deal nearer home. + +'Who'd have thought that we should live to see a Y.M. in the support +line!' + +Flattering echoes from entire group. + +'Do you remember that chap who kept us all awake in barracks, talking of +it?' + +'I nevaw believed him. I thought it was a myth, sir. And nothing to pay +an' all! It must be costing the Y.M. a canny bit o' money, sir?' + +The third person--who has been hovering on the verge of the inveterate +first--only commits himself to the statement that he helped to give away +785 cups of cocoa and packets of biscuits the night before. Rapid +calculations ensue. 'Why, that must be nearly ten pounds a night, sir?' + +'Something like that.' + +'Heaw that, Corporal! An' now it's cigarettes an' cakes an' all!' + +But the containers are ready, lids screwed down upon their steaming +contents. Strong arms hoist them upon stronger backs; the plethoric +sand-bags are shouldered with still less ado, and off go the party into +the slate-coloured night, off through the communication trenches into +the firing-line they are to hold for England until the twelve hundred +and thirty-ninth daybreak of the war. + +Peering after them with wistful glasses, the third person relapses +altogether into the first. Take away the odd two hundred, and for a +thousand days and nights my heart has been where their muffled feet will +be treading in another minute. Yes; a round thousand must be almost the +exact length of days since I first came out here in the spirit, and to +stay. But never till this year did I seriously dream of following in the +flesh, or till this moment feel the front line like a ball at my feet. +Even the day before yesterday the arrangement was not so definite as it +is to-day; it was not the Colonel himself who was to have taken us round +by special favour and appointment. Yet how easily, had the Strafe +happened half-an-hour later than it did, might we not have come in for +it, perhaps at the very place where the parapet was blown down! It would +have been a wonderful experience, especially as there were no +casualties. Will anything of the kind happen to-day? I have a feeling +that something may; but then I have had that feeling every sentient +moment up the Line. And nothing that can come can come amiss; that is +another of my feelings here, if not the strongest of them all. This +Christmas morning it rings almost like a carol in the heart, almost like +a peal of Christmas bells--jangled indeed by the heart's own bitter +flaws, and yet piercing sweet as Life itself. + +But for all my elderly civilian excitement, before a risk too tiny to +enter a young fighting head at all, sleep does not fail me on a new +couch of my own construction. The sand-bagged lair was none too dry in +the late hard frost; in the unseasonable thaw that seems to be setting +in, it is no place for crabbed age. Youth is welcome to the two beds +with the water now standing on their indiarubber sheets, and youth seems +quite honestly to prefer them; so I make mine on the biscuit-boxes in +the shed, turn my toes to the still glowing coke in the boiler fire, +press my soles to the hot-water bottle which has distinguished itself by +freezing during the day, and huddle down as usual in all the indoor and +outdoor garments I have with me, under my share of the blankets, which I +have been drying assiduously every evening. _The Romance of War_ +performs its nightly unromantic office ... and I have had many a worse +night upon a spring-mattress. + +Colonel finished breakfast when I reach the mess; ready for me by the +time I have had mine. We glove and muffle ourselves, adjust gas-masks +'at the ready,' and sally forth on his common round and my high +adventure, tapping the still slippery duck-boards with our sticks. + +A colourless morning, neither freezing nor thawing; visibility probably +low, luminosity certainly mediocre; in fact, typical Christmas weather +of the modern realistic school, as against the Christmas Number weather +of the last ten days. Yet it is the Christmas Number atmosphere that +haunts me as an aura the more tenacious for its utter absence on all +sides: the sprig of holly in the cake, the presents on the table, the +joys of parent and child--never more at one--and blinding visions in +both capacities, down to that last war-time Christmas dinner at the +Carlton ... such are the sights that await me after all in the +front-line trench! I have dreamt of it for years, yet now that I am here +it is of the dead years I dream, or of this Christmas morning anywhere +but where it is one's beatitude to be spending it. + +Not that I fail to see a good deal of what is before my eyes at last; +but never for many yards is the trench that we are in the only one I +seem to see, and a comparison between the two is irresistible. Perhaps +the width and solidity of this trench would impress me less if it were +not all so different from Belgium as I all but knew it in 1915; the +machine-gunners at their posts in the deep bays, like shepherds +sheltering behind a wall, yet somehow able to see through the wall, +would stand out less if the fire-step also were manned in the old way. +But now trenches are held more by machinery and by fewer men, at any +rate, in daytime; and at night men evidently do not sleep so near their +work as then they did; at least, I look in vain for dug-outs in this +sector of the front line. And I still look in vain for trouble, though +all the time I feel all sorts of possibilities impending: a strange +mixture of curiosity and dread it is--ardent curiosity, and quite +pleasurable dread--that weaves itself into the warp of all inward and +outward impressions whatsoever: can it be peculiar to self-ridden +civilians, or are there really brave men like the Colonel in front of me +(with a bar to his D.S.O.) who have undergone similar sensations at +their baptism of fire? + +It is not exactly mine; nothing comes anything like so near me as that +sniper's bullet on the way up the other day; but little black bursts do +keep occurring high overhead, where one of our airmen is playing peep +among the clouds. The fragments must be falling somewhere in the +neighbourhood; and a more alarming kind of shell has just burst on the +high ground between our parados and the support line. Not very close--I +must have been listening to something else--but the Colonel points out +the smoking place with his stick and his quiet smile. His smile is part +of him, very quiet and contained, full of easy-going power, and a +kindness incapable of condescension. He might be my country-house host +pointing out the excellence of his crop, but his touch is lighter and I +am not expected to admire. He is, of all soldiers I ever met, just the +one I would choose to be alongside if I had to be hit. I don't believe +his face would alter very much, and I should be dying not to alter it +more than I could help. + +But, in spite of all interior preparation, it is not to be. He has given +me a glimpse of No-Man's Land, not through a periscope but in a piece of +ordinary looking-glass; we are nearing the damaged place where his +presence is required and mine emphatically is not. Not that he says +anything of the sort, but I see it in his kindly smile as he hands me +over to his runner for safe-conduct to the place from whence I came. +Still as much disappointed as relieved, as though a definite excitement +had been denied to me, I turned and went with equal reluctance and +alacrity. + +'The bravest officer in the British Army!' was the runner's testimony to +our friend. I have heard the honest words before, but this +hero-worshipper had chapter and verse for his creed: 'Six times he has +been wounded in this war, and never yet gone back to Blighty for a +wound!' + +I had not noticed the six gold stripes--if any--but it is not everybody +who wears his full allowance. And if ever I met a man who cared less +than most brave men about all such things, I believe I said good-bye to +him last Christmas Day. + +We were to meet again in the evening; in the meantime I was to have my +Christmas dinner with the other Colonel and his merry men, now in +reserve. I found them in an ex-Hun dug-out, more like a forecastle than +the other headquarters; everything underground, and the bunks ranged +round the board; but there was the same sheen on the table-cloth, the +same glitter of glass and plate, the same good cheer and a turkey worthy +of the day, and a ham worthy of the turkey, and a plum-pudding worthy of +them both. It is not for the guest of a mess to say grace in public; but +Christmas dinner in the trenches is a case apart. As the school tag +might have had it, _non cuivis civi talia contingunt_. + +There were crackers, too, I suddenly remember, and the old idiotic paper +caps and mottoes, and Christmas cards wherever one went. In the new +legions there is nearly always some cunning hand to supply the unit with +a topical Christmas card: one of our two Battalions had a beauty, and +even the Y.M.C.A. made bold to circulate an artistic apotheosis of our +quarters on the sunken road. But those are not the Christmas cards I +still preserve; my ill-gotten souvenirs are typewritten scraps on +typewriting-paper, unillustrated, but all the more to the point: 'Best +wishes for Xmas and Good Luck in 1918, from the Brigadier and Staff, +--th Infantry Brigade.'--'Christmas Greetings and All Good Luck from +--th Infantry Brigade Headquarters.'--'Christmas Greetings and Good Luck +from ----th Divisional Artillery.' I must say this kind appealed to me, +though I sent away a good many of the more ambitious variety. In neither +was there any conventional nonsense about a 'happy' or even a 'merry' +Christmas; and that, in view of the well-known perversity of the Comic +Spirit, may have been one reason why so much merriment accrued. Nor did +the contrast between unswerving ceremonial and a sardonic simplicity, as +shown in this matter of the Christmas cards, begin or end there; for +while I had followed crystal and fine table-linen into reserve for my +Christmas dinner, the hospitable board behind the front line was now +spread with newspapers, and we drank both our whisky-and-soda and our +coffee out of the same enamelled cup. + +The Colonel who had taken me into the front line after breakfast was not +at dinner that night; for all his wounds he had gone down with common +influenza, and I was desolated. It was my last chance of thanking him, +as the other man and I were leaving in the early morning. All day I had +been thinking of all that I had seen, and of all I had but foreseen, +though so vividly that I felt more and more as though I had actually had +some definite escape; besides, the things I had heard about him after +we parted made me covet the honour of shaking hands once more with so +very brave a man. I had my wish. In the middle of dinner a servant +emerged from below to say: 'The Colonel would like to see the Y.M.C.A. +officer before he went.' + +I can see him still, as I found him, hot and coughing on the bunk in the +corner by itself. 'I thought you would be interested to hear,' said he, +'that the very minute you left me this morning a rum-jar burst on the +parados just behind me. You know how I wear my helmet, with the strap +behind? It blew it off.' + +So my escape had been fairly definite after all, and the thing I was so +ready for had really happened 'the very minute' my back was turned! But +that, unhappily, is not the whole coincidence. Five months later it was +written of 'this good and gallant leader' that 'while inspecting his +battalion in the trenches he was struck by a fragment of shell from a +trench mortar (i.e. a rum-jar) and killed instantaneously.' My +parenthesis; the rest from _The Times_ notice, which also bears out the +story of the six wounds, except that they were seven, and four of them +earned ('with an immediate award of the D.S.O.') on a single occasion. +There is more in the notice that I should like to quote, more still that +I could say even on the strength of that one morning's work; but who am +I to praise so grand a man? I only know that I shall never see another +Christmas without seeing that front-line trench, and a quiet, dark man +in the pride and prime of perfect soldierhood, self-saddled with an old +camp-follower who felt as a child beside him. + + +THE BABES IN THE TRENCHES + +In the morning we made our tracks in virgin snow. It had fallen heavily +in the night, and was still falling as we turned into the trench. So was +a light shower of shell; but it blew over; and now our good luck seemed +almost certain to attend us to our journey's end. + +The snow thinned off as we plodded on our way. But it had altered and +improved the trenches out of knowledge, lying thick along the top on +either hand and often half-way down the side, so that we seemed like +Gullivers striding between two chains of Lilliputian Alps. It was +nevertheless hard going in our valley, where the duck-boards were snowed +under for long stretches without a break, and warmer work in my fleece +lining than I had known it yet. My gas-mask was like a real mill-stone +round the neck; and though the other man had possessed himself of part +of my impedimenta, that only made me feel my age the more acutely. +Almost a great age I felt that morning; for nights on packing-cases in a +low temperature, and an early start on biscuits and condensed-milk +prepared with cold water, after short commons of sleep, are the kind of +combination that will find a man out. I was not indeed complaining, but +neither was I as observant as I might have been. I had been over this +part of the ground by myself the day before, on the way to my Christmas +dinner. It did look rather different in the snow, but that was to be +expected, and the other man knew the way well. So I understood, and he +emphatically affirmed the supposition on such provocation as I from time +to time felt justified in giving the voluntary bearer of my pack. It was +only when we came to some suspiciously unfamiliar landmark, something +important (but I honestly forget what) in a bay by itself, that I +asserted myself sufficiently to call a halt. + +'We never passed _that_ before!' + +'Oh, yes, we did. I'm sure we did. I think I remember it.' + +That ought not to have satisfied me; but you cannot openly discredit a +man who insists on carrying your pack. I was too fatigued to take it +from him, and not competent to take the lead. On he led me, perspiring +my misgivings at every pore; but under a tangled bridge of barbed wire I +made a firmer stand. + +'Anyhow, you don't remember _this_!' I asserted point-blank. + +'No. I can't say I do.' + +'Then how do you account for it?' + +'It must have been put up in the night.' + +I cannot remember by what further resource of casuistry that young man +induced me to follow him another yard; yet so it was, and all the shame +be mine. He himself was the next to falter and stand still in his +tracks, and finally to face me with a question whose effrontery I can +still admire: + +'What would you do if we met a Hun? Put your hands up?' + +We were, in fact, once more impinging upon the firing line, and by a +trench at the time, apparently, not much in use. I know it seemed long +hours since we had encountered a soul; but then it might have been for +the best part of another hour that my guilty guide now left me in order +to ascertain the worst, and I do not seriously suppose it was very many +minutes. I remember cooling off against the side of the trench, and +hearing absolutely nothing all the time. That I still think remarkable. +It was not snowing; the sun shone; visibility must have been better than +for two whole days; and yet nothing was happening. I might have been +waiting in some Highland glen, or in a quarry in the wilds of Dartmoor. +I think that particular silence was as impressive, as intimidating, as +the very heaviest firing that I heard in all my four months at the +front. + +No harm came of our misadventure; it was possibly less egregious than it +sounds. A wrong turning in the snow had taken us perhaps a mile out of +our way; but a trench mile is a terribly long one, and I know how much I +should like to add for the state of the duck-boards on this occasion, +and how much more for that of a lame old duck who thought they were +never, never coming to an end! The valley of the guns was nothing after +them, though the guns were active at the time, an anti-aircraft battery +taking an academic interest in a humming speck on high. Beyond the +valley ran the road, and beyond the road the river, where we were to +have caught a boat. Of course we had just succeeded in missing it. A +homeward-bound lorry picked us up at last. And we were in plenty of time +for the plain mid-day meal at our humble headquarters in the town. But +by then I was done to the world and dead to shame. I suppose I have led +too soft a life, taking very little exercise for its own sake, though +occasionally going to the other extreme from an ulterior motive. So I +have been deservedly tired once or twice in my time; but I didn't know +what it was to be done up before last Boxing Day. + +The short mile down to the hut that afternoon was the longest and worst +of all. Stiffness was setting in, and the snow so deep in the ruinous +streets; but every yard of the way I looked forward to my sheetless +bed; and few things in life have disappointed me so little. The fire was +out, it seemed, and was worth lighting first. There was a sensuous joy +about that last purely voluntary effort and delay. I even think I waited +to let my old hot-water bottle share in the triumphal entry between +blankets that were at least dry, plentiful, and soft as a feather-bed +after the lids of those packing-cases up the Line! + +And it was our Christmas concert in the hut that evening: the copious +entertainment disturbed without spoiling my rest, rather bringing it +home to every aching inch of me as the heavenly thing it was. Song and +laughter travelled up the hut, and filtered through to me refined and +rarefied by far more than the little distance. Somebody came in and made +tea. It was better than being ill. I lay there till nine next morning; +then went down to the Officers' Baths, and came out feeling younger than +at any period of actual but insensate youth. + + + + +DETAILS + +(_January-February, 1918_) + + +ORDERLY MEN + +He who loves a good novel will find himself in clover in a Y.M.C.A. hut +at the front. Not that he will have much time to read one there, except +as I read my night-cap _The Romance of War_; but a better book of the +same name will never stop writing itself out before his eyes, a book all +dialogue and illustrations, yet chock-full of marvellous characters, +drawn to a man without a word of commentary or analysis. To a man, +advisedly, since it will be a novel without a heroine; on the other +hand, all the men and boys will be heroes, at any rate to the kind of +reader I have in mind. Something will depend on him; he will have to +apply himself, as much as to any other kind of reading. He must have +eyes to see, brains to translate, a heart to love or pity or admire. He +must have the power to penetrate under other skins, to tremble for them +more than for his own, to glow and sweat with them, to shiver in shoes +he is not fit to wear. Many can go as far for people who never existed +outside some author's brain; these are they on whom the most stupendous +of unwritten romances is least likely to be lost. It lies open to all +who care to take their stand behind a hut counter in a forward area in +France. + +The character to be seen there, and to be loved at sight! The adventures +to be heard at first-hand, and sometimes even shared! The fun, the +pathos, the underlying horror, but the grandeur lying deeper yet, all to +be encountered together at any minute of any working hour! The Romance +of War it is, but not only the romance; and talking of my sedative, with +all affection for an author who once kept me only too wide awake, it was +not of him that I thought by day behind my counter. It was of Dickens. +It was of Hugo. It was of Reade, who might have done the best battle in +British fiction (and did one of the very best sea-fights), of Scott and +Stevenson and the one or two living fathers of families who will die as +hard as theirs. Their children were always coming to life before our +eyes, especially the Dickens progeny. Sapper Pinch was a friend of mine, +with one or two near relations in the R.A.M.C. There were several +Private Tapleys, and not one of them a bore; on the contrary, they were +worth their weight in gold. And there was an older man whose real name +was obviously Sikes, though the worst thing we knew about him was that +he smoked an ounce of Nosegay every day he was down, and never said +please or thank-you. Once, when we had not seen him for sixteen days, he +knew there was something else he wanted but could not remember what. +'Nosegays!' I could tell him, and planked a packet on the counter. It +was the one time I saw him smile. + +But it was not only business hours that brought forth these immortals; +two of the best were always with us in the superbly contrasted persons +of our two orderlies. The slower and clumsier of the pair was by rights +an Oxfordshire shepherd; in the Army, even under necessity's sternest +law, he was matter in the wrong place altogether. Oxfordshire may not be +actually a part of Wessex, but there is one part of Oxfordshire as +remote as the scene of any of the Wessex Novels, and that was our +Strephon's native place. He might have been the real and original +Gabriel Oak--as Mr. Hardy found him, not as we fortunately know the +bucolic hero of _Far from the Madding Crowd_. + +Our Gabriel was the simplest bumpkin ever seen or heard off the London +stage. He it was who, in his early days in France, had heavily inquired: +'Who be this 'ere Fritz they be arl tarkin' about?' Thus did he +habitually conjugate the verb _to be_; but all his locutions and most +of his manners and customs, his puzzled head-scratchings, his audible +self-communings, his crass sagacity and his simple cunning, were +pastoral conventions of quite time-honoured theatricality. His very +walk, for all his drills, was the ponderous waddle of the stage rustic. +But on his own showing he had (like another Tommy) 'proved one too many +for his teachers' at an early stage of his military education. Not all +their precept and profanity, not all his pristine ardour as a volunteer, +had sufficed to put poor Gabriel on terms of adequate familiarity with +his rifle. + +'I couldn' make nothin' of it, sir,' he would say with rueful candour. +'So they couldn' make nothin' o' me.' + +His simplicity was a joy, though he was sometimes simple to a fault. One +morning I caught him draining our tea-pot as a loving-cup: matted head +thrown back, brawny elbows lifted, and the spout engulfed in his honest +maw: a perfect silhouette, not to be destroyed by a sound, much less a +word of protest, even had we not been devoted to our gentle savage. But +one of us did surreptitiously attend to the spout before tea-time. And +once before my eyes his ready lips sucked the condensed-milk off our +tin-opener before plunging it into a tin of potted meat. He had a +moustache of obsolete luxuriance, I remember with a shudder in this +connection; but the last time I saw him the moustache was not. + +'You see, sir,' explained Gabriel, regretfully, 'I had a cold, an' it +arl ...' + +I hope my muscles were still under due control. To know our Gabriel was +to perish rather than hurt his feelings; for he had the softest heart of +his own, and in Oxfordshire a wife and children to share its affections +with his ewes and lambs. 'An' I think a lot on 'em, too, sir,' said +Gabriel, when he showed me the full family group (self in uniform) done +on his last 'leaf.' Really a sweet simpleton, even when (as I was nearly +forgetting) he announced a brand-new Brigadier-General, who had honoured +me with a visit, as 'A gen'leman to see you, sir!' + +The only man of us who had the heart to tell the angelic Gabriel off was +his brother orderly, a respectable and patriotic Huish, if such a +combination can be conceived. Our Mr. Huish was the gentleman who always +said it wanted five minutes to the 'alf-hour when it wanted at least +ten, and too often sped the last of our lingering guests with insult +into outer darkness. Like his prototype he was a fiery little Londoner, +with a hacking cough and a husky voice ever rising to a shout in his +dealings with bovine Gabriel. There was nothing of the beasts of the +field about our Huish; he was the terrier type, and more than true to it +in his fidelity to his temporary masters. At us he never snarled. His +special province was the boiler stove; he was generally blacked up to +the red rims of his eyes, like a seaside minstrel, and might have been +collecting money in his banjo as we saw him first of a dim morning. But +the instrument was only our frying-pan carried at arm's length, and our +approval of an unconscionable lot of rashers all the recognition he +required. 'W'en I 'as plenty I likes to give plenty,' was his +disreputable watchword in these matters. I am afraid he was not supposed +to cook for us at all. + +Huish was always bustling, or at least shambling with alacrity; whereas +Gabriel went about his lightest business with ponderous deliberation and +puzzled frown. Both were men of forty who had done the right thing early +in the war; they had nothing else in common except the inglorious job +which they owed to their respective infirmities. Huish, after many +rejections on the score of his, had yet contrived to land in khaki at Le +Havre on the last day of the first battle of Ypres; and though he had +never been nearer the fighting than he was with us, no one who knew his +story or himself could have grudged him his 1914 ribbon. His canine +delight, on learning that he was just entitled to it, was a thing to +see and to enter into. + +Let us hope Gabriel did; he was not very charitable about Huish behind +his back. It was Gabriel's boast that he had 'never been in the 'ands of +the police,' and his shame to inform us that Huish had. But the sun has +its spots, and the overwhelming superiority of Huish in munitions of +altercation was perhaps some excuse. Daily we caught his rising voice +and Gabriel's rumbling monotone; what it was about we never knew; but +Huish had all the nerves in the kitchen, and the shepherd must have been +a heavyweight on them at times. Their language, however, as we heard it +under mutual provocation, was either a considerable compliment to the +Y.M.C.A. or an exclusive credit to themselves. Gabriel was duly +archangelic in this regard; the other's only freedom a habit of calling +a thing an 'ell of a thing, and on occasion an Elizabethan +expressiveness, entirely inoffensive in his mouth. + +I wanted their photographs to take with me when I left, and had +prevailed upon them to get taken together at my expense. The result lies +before me as I write. Both are washed, brushed up, shaven and uniformed +out of daily knowledge. Huish stands keenly at attention, as smart as he +could make himself; it is not his fault that the sleeves of his new +tunic come down nearly to his finger-tips. On his right shoulder rests +the forgiving paw of Gabriel; a perceptibly sardonic accentuation of the +crow's-feet round his eyes may perhaps be attributed to this prompting +of the shepherd's heart or the photographer's _finesse_. But the pose +was a consummation; it was in the course of a preliminary transaction +that their excessive gratification obliged me to disclaim benevolence. + +'I shall want some of the copies for myself, you know,' I had warned +them both. + +'Quite right, sir!' cried Huish, heartily. 'It's like a man with a dog +an' a bitch--'e must 'ave 'is pick o' the pups!' + +Huish could take the counter at a pinch, but it was neither his business +nor his pleasure; and our gentle shepherd found French coinage as dark a +mystery as the British rifle. But we were very often assisted by an +unpaid volunteer, another great character in his way. We never knew his +name, and to me at least he was a new type. A Hull lad, eighteen years +old, private in a Labour Battalion employed near the town, he must have +had work enough by day and night to satisfy even one of his strength and +build, which were those of a little gorilla. And yet never a free +evening had this boy but he must spend it behind our counter, slaving +like the best of us for sheer love. But it was the work _he_ loved; he +was a little shop-keeper born and bred; his heart was in the till at +home; that was what brought him hot-foot to ours; and his passionate +delight in the mere routine of retail trade was the new thing to me in +human boyhood. + +At first I had wondered, the hobby seemed so unnatural: at first I even +kept an eye on him and on the till. Our leader had gone on leave before +the New Year; nobody seemed to know how far he had encouraged the boy, +or the origin of his anomalous footing in the hut; and we were taking a +cool thousand francs a day. But our young volunteer bore microscopic +scrutiny, but repaid it all. His was not only a labour of love +unashamed, but the joyous exercise of a gift, the triumphant display of +an inherent power. He beat the best of us behind a counter. It was his +element, not ours for all the will and skill in the world; he was a fish +among swimmers, a professional among amateurs, and the greatest +disciplinarian of us all. The home till may have been behind a bar in +the worst part of Hull, long practice in prompt refusal have given him +his short way with old soldiers opening negotiations out of their turn. +It was a good way, however, as cheery as it was firm. I can hear it now: + +'Naw, yer dawn't, Jock! Get away back an' coom oop in't queue like +oother people!' + +It was never resented. Though not even one of us, but the youngest and +lowliest of themselves, that urchin by his own virtue exercised the +authority of a truculent N.C.O. with the whole military machine behind +him. I never heard a murmur against him, or witnessed the least +reluctance to obey his ruling. And with equal impunity he addressed all +alike as 'Jock.' + +But that, though one of his many and quaint idiosyncrasies, was perhaps +the covert compliment that took the edge off all the rest. + +And it brings me to the Jocks themselves, who deserve a place apart from +Y.M.C.A. orderlies and the best of boys in a Labour Battalion. + + +THE JOCKS + +First a word about this generic term of 'Jock.' I use it advisedly, yet +not without a qualm. It is not for a civilian to drop into military +familiarities on the strength of a winter with the Expeditionary Force; +but this sobriquet has spread beyond all Army areas; like 'Tommy,' but +with a difference worth considering, it has passed into the language of +the man still left in the street. If not, it will; for you have only to +see him at his job in the war, doing it in a way and a spirit all his +own, and a Jock is a Jock to you ever after. As the cricketer said about +the yorker, what else can you call him? + +The first time the word slipped off my tongue, except behind their +backs, and I found I had called a superb young Seaforth Highlander +'Jock' to his noble face, I stood abashed before him. It sounded an +unpardonable liberty; apologise I must, and did. + +'It's a name I am proud to be called by,' said he quite simply. I never +committed the apology again. + +It was not as though one had called an English soldier 'Tommy' to his +face; the Jock's answer brought that home to me, and with something like +a shock--not because 'Jock' was evidently rather more than a term of +endearment, but because 'Tommy' suddenly seemed rather less. Each +carried its own nuance, its quite separate implication, and somehow the +later term took higher ground. I wondered how much later it was. Did it +begin in South Africa? There were no Jocks in _Barrack-Room Ballads_; +but there was 'Tommy,' the poem; and between those immortal lines I read +my explanation. It was from them I had learnt, long years before either +war, that it was actually possible for purblind peace-lovers to look +down upon the British soldier, under the name those lines dinned in. The +Jocks had not been christened in those dead days; that was their luck; +that was the difference. _Their_ name belonged to the spacious times +which have given the fighting-man the place of honour in all true +hearts. + +Hard on Tommy! As for the Jocks, they have earned their good name if men +ever did; but I am to speak of them only as I saw them across a Y.M.C.A. +counter, demanding 'twust' without waste of syllables, or +'wrichting-pads,' or 'caun'les'; huge men with little voices, little men +with enormous muscles; men of whalebone with the quaint, stiff gait +engendered by the kilt, looking as though their upper halves were in +strait waistcoats, simply because the rest of them goes so free; figures +of droll imperturbability, of bold and handsome _sang-froid_, hunting +in couples among the ruins for any fun or trouble that might be going. +'As if the town belonged to them!' said one who loved the sight of them; +but I always thought the distinctive thing about the Jock was his air of +belonging to the town, ruined or otherwise, or to the bleak stretch of +war-eaten countryside where one had the good fortune to encounter him. +His matter-of-fact stolidity, his dry scorn of discomfort, the soul +above hardship looking out of his keen yet dreamy eyes, the tight smile +on his proud, uncomplaining lips--to meet all these in a trench was to +feel the trench transformed to some indestructible stone alley of the +Old Town. These men might have been born and bred in dug-outs, and +played all their lives in No-Man's Land, as town children play about a +street and revel in its dangers. + +I am proud to remember that they held the part of the line I was in at +Christmas. I saw them do everything but fight, and that I had no wish to +see as a spectator; but everybody knows how they set about it, the enemy +best of all. I have seen them, however, pretty soon after a raid: it was +like talking to a man who had just made a hundred at Lord's: our hut was +the Pavilion. I never saw them with their blood up, and to see them +merely under fire is to see them just themselves--not even abnormally +normal like less steady souls. + +Said a Black Watchman in the hearing of a friend of mine, as he mended a +parapet under heavy fire, in the worst days of '15: 'I wish they'd stop +their bloody sniping--_and let me get on with my work_!' + +The Jock all over! So a busy man swears at a wasp; the Jock at war is +just a busy man until something happens to put a stop to his business. +In the meantime he is not complaining; he is not asking you when this +dreadful war will finish; he is not telling you it can never be finished +by fighting. He went to the war as a bridegroom to his bride, and he has +the sense and virtue to make the best of his bargain till death or peace +doth them part. He may sigh for his release like other poor devils; his +pride will not let him sigh audibly; and as for 'getting out of it,' +divorce itself is not more alien to his stern spirit. It is true that he +has the business in his blood: not the Covenanters only but the +followers of Montrose and Claverhouse were Jocks before him. It is also +true that even he is not always at concert pitch; but his nerves do not +relax or snap in damp or cold, as may the nerves of a race less inured +through the centuries to hardship and the incidence of war. In bitter +fighting there is nothing to choose between the various branches of the +parent oak. The same sound sap runs through them all. But in bitter +weather on the Western Front give me a hutful of Jocks! If only Dr. +Johnson could have been with us in the Y.M.C.A. from last December to +the day of big things! It would have spoilt the standing joke of his +life. + +In the jaunty bonnet that cast no shadow on the bronzed face underneath, +with the warm tints of their tartans between neat tunic and +weather-beaten knees, their mere presence lit up the scene; and to +scrape acquaintance with one at random was nearly always to tap a +character worthy of the outer man. There are those who insist that the +discipline of the Army destroys individuality; it may seem so in the +transition stage of training, but the nearer the firing-line the less I +found it to be the case. I knew a Canadian missioner, turned Coldstream +Guardsman, who was very strong and picturesque upon the point. + +'Out here,' said he, 'a man goes naked; he can't hide what he really is; +he can't camouflage himself.' + +The Jock does not try. In the life school of the war he stands stripped, +but never poses; sometimes rugged and unrefined; often massive and +majestic in body and mind; always statuesque in his simplicity, always +the least self-conscious of Britons. Two of his strongest point are his +education and his religion, but he makes no parade of either, because +both are in his blood. His education is as old as the least humorous of +the Johnsonian jibes, as old as the Dominie and the taws: a union that +bred no 'brittle intellectuals,' but hard-headed men who have helped the +war as much by their steadfast outlook as by their zest and prowess in +the field. As for their religion, it is the still deeper strain, mingled +as of old with the fighting spirit of this noble race. It is most +obvious in the theological students, even the full-fledged ministers, to +be found in the ranks of the Jocks to-day; but I have seen it in rougher +types who know nothing of their own sleeping fires, who are puzzled +themselves by the blaze of joy they feel in battle and will speak of it +with characteristic frankness and simplicity. + +'The pleasure it gives ye! The pleasure it gives ye!' said one who had +been breathing wonders about their ding-dong, hand-to-hand +bomb-and-bayonet work. 'This warr,' he went on to declare, 'will do more +for Christianity than ever was done in the wurruld before.' + +This also he reiterated, and then added surprisingly: + +'Mine ye, I'm no' a Christian mysel'; but this warr will do more for +Christianity than ever was done in the wurruld before.' + +The personal disclaimer was repeated in its turn, in order to remove any +possible impression that the speaker was any better than he ought to be. +At least I thought that was the explanation; none was offered or indeed +invited, for there were other men waiting at the counter; and we never +met again, though he promised to come back next night. That boy meant +something, though he did not mean me to know how much. He came from +Glasgow, talked and laughed like Harry Lauder, and did both together all +the time. His conversation made one think. It would be worth recording +for its cheery, confidential plunge into deep waters; nobody but a Jock +would have taken the first header. + +Yet, out of France, the Scottish have a reputation for reserve! Is it +that in their thoroughgoing way they strip starker than any, where all +go as naked as my Canadian friend declared? + +They are said to be (God bless them!) our most ferocious fighters. I +should be sorry to argue the point with a patriotic Australian; but my +money is on the Jock as the most affectionate comrade. It is a touching +thing to hear any soldier on a friend who has fought and fallen at his +side; but the poetry that is in him makes it wonderful to hear a Jock; +you get the swirl of the pipes in his voice, the bubble of a Highland +burn in his brown eyes. So tender and yet so terrible! So human and so +justly humorous in their grief! + +'He was the best wee Sergeant ever a mon had,' one of them said to me, +the night after a costly raid. We have no English word to compare with +that loving diminutive; 'little' comes no nearer it than 'Tommy' comes +near 'Jock.' One even doubts whether there are any 'wee' Sergeants who +do not themselves make use of the word. + +I could tell many a moving tale as it was told to me, in an accent that +I never adored before. On second thoughts it is the very thing I cannot +do and will not attempt. But here is a letter that has long been in my +possession; a part of it has been in print before, in a Harrow +publication, for it is all about a Harrow boy of great distinction; but +this is the whole letter. It makes without effort a number of the points +I have been labouring; it throws a golden light on the relations between +officers and men in a famous Highland Regiment; but its unique merit +lies in the fact that it was _not_ written for the boy's people to read. +It is a Jock's letter to a Jock, about their officer:-- + + 'FRANCE, + 1. 9. 15. + + DEAR TOMMY,-- + + Just a note to let you know that I am still alive and + kicking. Things are much the same as when you left + here. We have had one good kick up since you were + wounded, that was on the 9th of May. We lost little + Lieut. ----, the best man that ever toed the line. You + know what like he was; the arguments you and him used + to have about politics. He always said you should have + been Prime Minister. None of the rest of them ever + mixed themselves with us the same as he done; he was a + credit to the regiment and to the father and mother + that reared him; and Tommy the boys that are left of + the platoon hopes that you will write to his father + and mother and let them know how his men loved him, + you can do it better than any of us. I enclose you a + cutting out of a paper about his death. He died at the + head of his platoon like the toff he was, and, Tommy, + I never was very religious but I think little ---- is + in Heaven. He knew that it was a forlorn hope before + we were half way, but he never flinched. He was not + got for a week or two after the battle. Well, dear + chum, I got your parcel and am very thankful for it. I + will be getting a furlough in a week or two and I will + likely come and see you, not half. All the boys that + you knew are asking kindly for you. We are getting + thinned out by degrees. There are 11 of us left of + the platoon that you know--some dead, some down the + line. But Tommy we miss you for your arguments, and + the old fiddle was left at Parides, nobody to play it; + but still we are full of life. I expect you will read + some of these days of something big. I may tell you + the Boches will get hell for leather before they are + many days older. We have the men now and the material + and we won't forget to lay it on. Old Bendy is major + now, he gave us a lecture a while ago and he had a + word to say about you and wee Hughes and Martin, that + was the night that you went to locate the mortar and + came in with the machine gun. He says the three of you + were a credit to the regiment. I just wish you were + back to keep up the fun, but your wife and bairns will + like to keep you now. Well, Tommy, see and write to + ----'s father and let him know how his men liked him, + it will perhaps soften the blow. No more now, but I + remain your ever loving chum and well wisher, SANDY. + + 'Good night and God bless you. + + 'P.S.--Lochie Rob, J. Small, Philip Clyne, Duncan + Morris, Headly, wee Mac, Ginger Wilson, Macrae and + Dean Swift are killed. There are just three of us left + in the section now, that is, Gordon, Black, and + Martin, the rest drafted. + + 'Write soon.' + +Thomas himself is not quite so simple. He is not writing as man to man, +but to an intermediary who will show every word to 'little -----'s' +family. He is not speaking just for himself, but for his old platoon, +and added to this responsibility is the manly duty of keeping up his own +repute, both as one who 'should have been Prime Minister' and as one who +'can do it better than any of us.' Thomas is somewhere or other in +hospital, but for all his hurts there are passages of his that come from +squared elbows and a very sturdy pen: + + 'He was young so far as years were concerned, but he + was old in wisdom. He never asked one of us to do that + which he would not do himself. He shared our hardships + and our joys. He was in fact one of ourselves as far + as comradeship and brotherly love was concerned. We + never knew who he was till we saw his death in the + Press, but this we did know, that he was Lieut. -----, + a gentleman and a soldier every inch, _and mind you + the average Tommy is not too long in getting the size + of his officer_, and it is not every day that one like + ----- joins the Army.... + + He was liked by his fellow-officers, but he was loved, + honoured and respected by his men, and you know, Sir, + that _I am not guilty of paying tributes to anyone + where they are not deserved_....' + +I love Thomas for the two italicised asides. It was not he who +underlined them; but they declare his politics as unmistakably as +Sandy's bit about those arguments with their officer. For 'little ----' +was the son of one of Scotland's noblest and most ancient houses; but +Thomas is careful to explain that they never knew that until the papers +told them, and we have internal evidence that Sandy never gave it a +thought. He lays no stress on the fact that 'none of the rest of them +ever mixed themselves with us the same as he done': the gem of both +tributes, when you come to think of it. + +I think of it the more because I knew this young Harrovian a little in +his brilliant boyhood (Head of the School and Captain of the Football +Eleven), but chiefly because I happen to have seen his grave. It is on +the outskirts of a village that was still pretty and wooded in early +'17, though the church was in a bad way even then. Now there can be +little left; but I hope against hope that some of the wooden crosses +which so impressed me are still intact. For there as ever among his men, +I think even alongside 'wee Mac' and the others named in that pathetic +postscript, lies 'little ----', truly 'mixing himself with them' to the +last. + +In the same row, under mound and cross as neat as any, lay 'an unknown +German soldier'; and for his sake, perhaps, if all have not been blown +to the four winds, the present occupiers[1] will do what can be done to +protect and preserve the resting-place of 'little ----' and his Jocks. + +[Footnote 1: July, 1918.] + + +GUNNERS + +Next to the Jocks, I used to find the Gunners the cheeriest souls about +a hut. Nor do I believe that mine was a chance experience; for the +constant privilege of inflicting damage on the Hun must be, despite a +very full share of his counter-attentions, a perpetual source of +satisfaction. A Gunner is oftener up and doing, far seldomer merely +suffering, than any other being under arms. The Infantry have so much to +grin and bear, so very much that would be unbearable without a grin, +that it is no wonder if the heroic symbol of their agony be less in +evidence upon ordinary occasions. Cheeriness with them has its own awful +connotation: they are almost automatically at their best when things are +at their worst; but the gunner is always enjoying the joke of making +things unpleasant for the other side. He is the bowler who is nearly +certain of a good match. + +He used to turn up at our hut at all hours, sometimes in a Balaclava +helmet that reminded one of other winter sports, often with his +extremities frozen by long hours in the saddle or on his limber, but +never wearied by much marching and never in any but the best of +spirits. He was always an interesting man, who knew the Line as a +strolling player knows the Road, but neither knew nor cared where he was +to give the next performance. I associate him with a ruddy visage and a +hearty manner that brought a breeze in from the outer world, as a good +stage sailor brings one from the wings. + +One great point about the Gunners is that you can see them at their job. +I had seen them at it on a former brief visit to the front, and even had +a foretaste of their quality of humour, which is by no means so heavy as +a civilian wag might apprehend. The scene was the tight-rope road +between Albert and Bapaume, then stretched across a chasm of +inconceivable devastation, and only three-parts in our hands; in fact we +were industriously shelling Bapaume and its environs when a car from the +Visitors' Chateau dumped two of us, attended by a red-tabbed chaperon, +in the very middle of our guns. + +Not even in later days do I remember such a row as they were making. +Shells are as bad, but I imagine one does not hear a great many quite so +loud and live to write about it. Drum-fire must be worse at both ends; +but I have heard only distant drum-fire, and on the spot it must have +this advantage, that its continuity precludes surprise. But a series of +shattering surprises was the essence of our experience before Bapaume. +The guns were all over the place, and fiendishly camouflaged. I was +prepared for all sorts of cunning and picturesque screens and +emplacements, and indeed had looked for them. I was not prepared for +absolutely invisible cannon of enormous calibre that seemed to loose off +over our shoulders or through our legs the moment our backs were turned. + +If you happened to be looking round you were all right. You saw the +flash, and your eye forewarned your ear in the fraction of a second +before the bang, besides reassuring you as to the actual distance +between you and the blazing gun; but whenever possible it took a mean +advantage, and had me ducking as though somebody had shouted 'Heads!' I +say 'me,' not before it was time; for I can only speak with honesty for +myself. By flattering chance I was pretending to enjoy this experience +in good company indeed; but the great man might have been tramping his +own moor, and doing the shooting himself, for all the times I saw his +eyelids flicker or his massive shoulders wince. He made no more of a +howitzer that jovially thundered and lightened in our path, over our +very heads, than of the brace of sixty-pounders whose peculiarly +ear-destroying duet 'scratched the brain's coat of curd' as we stood +only too close behind them. They might have been a brace of Irish +Members for all their intimidatory effect on my illustrious companion. + +But the fun came when we adjourned to the Battery Commander's dug-out, +and somebody suggested that the Forward Observing Officer would feel +deeply honoured by a word on the telephone from so high an Officer of +State. All urbanity, the O.S. took down the receiver, and was heard +introducing himself to the F.O.O. by his official designation, as though +high office alone could excuse such a liberty. The receiver cackled like +a young machine-gun, and the O.S. beamed dryly on the O.C. + +'He wants to know who the devil I _really_ am!' he reported with due +zest. + +Hastily the spectacled young Major vouched for the other speaker. The +receiver changed hands once more. The Forward Observing Officer was +evidently as good as his style and title. + +'He says--"in that case"--I'd better look him up!' twinkled the O.S. 'Is +there time? He says he's quite close to the sugar factory.' + +The sugar factory was unmistakable, not as a flagrant sugar factory but +as the only fragment of a building left standing within the sky-line. It +proved a snare. Our F.O.O. was unknown there; if he had ever been at the +ex-factory, he had kept himself to himself and gone without leaving an +address; and though we sought him high and low among the shell-holes, +under the belching muzzles of our guns, it was not intended by +Providence (nor yet peradventure by himself) that we should track that +light artillery comedian to his place of concealment. + +Still, one can get at a gunner (in the above sense only) quicker than at +any other class of acquaintance in the Line. + +It is, after all, a very small war in the same sense as it is said to be +a small world; and in our ruined town I was always running into some +soldier whom I had known of old in leather or prunella. I have had the +pleasure of serving an old servant as an impressive N.C.O., of welcoming +others of all ranks on both sides of the counter. Thus it was that one +day I had a car lent me to go pretty well where I liked, subject to the +approval of a young Staff Officer, my escort. I thought of a Gunner +friend hidden away somewhere in those parts. He was an Old Boy of my old +school. So, as it happened, was the High Commander to whom the car +belonged; so, by an extraordinary chance, was the young Staff Officer. +The oldest of them, of course, long years after my time; but an All +Uppingham Day for me, if ever I had one! I only wish we could have +claimed the hero of the day as well. + +The car took us to within a couple of miles of my friend, who was not +above another mile from No-Man's Land. It was a fairly lively sector at +the best of times, which was about the time I was there. The enemy had +shown unseasonable activity only the night before, and we met some of +the casualties coming down a light railway, up which we walked the last +part of the way. Two or three khaki figures pushing a truck laden with a +third figure--supine, blanketed, and very still: that was the picture we +passed several times in the thin February sunlight. One man looked as +dead as the livid landscape; one had a bloody head and a smile that +stuck; one was walking, supported by a Red Cross man, coughing weakly as +he went. Round about our destination were a number of shell-sockets, +very sharp and clean, all made in the night. + +It was quite the deepest dug-out I was ever in, but I was not sorry when +I had found my eyes in the twilight of its single candle. Warm, down +there; a petrol engine throbbing incomprehensibly behind a curtain at +the foot of the flight; a ventilating shaft at the inner end; hardly any +more room than in an Uppingham study. How we talked about the old place, +three school generations of us, sitting two on a bed until I broke down +the Major's! The Major might have been bored before that--he who alone +had not been there. But even my ponderous performance did not disturb a +serene forbearance, a show of more than courteous interest, which +encouraged us to persist in that interminable gossip about masters (with +imitations!) so maddening to the uninitiated. At length the petrol +engine stopped; I doubt if we did, though steak and onions now arrived. +May I never savour their crude smell again without remembering that time +and place; the oftener the better, if there be those present who do not +know about the Major. + +His second-in-command, my Uppingham friend, told me as he saw us along +the light railway on our way back. In 1914 the Major had been a +Nonconformist Minister. Never mind the Denomination, or the part of +Great Britain: because the Call sounded faint there, and his flock were +slow to answer, the shepherd showed the way, himself enlisting in the +ranks: because he was what he was, and came whence he came, here and +thus had I found him in 1918, commanding a battery on the Somme, at the +age--but that would be a tale out of school. A legion might be made up +of the men whose real ages are nobody's business till the war is over; +then they might be formed into a real Old Guard of Honour, and +_splendidissime mendax_ might be their motto. + +I do not say the Major would qualify. I have forgotten exactly what it +was I heard upon the point. But I am not going to forget something that +reached me later from another source altogether, namely the lips of a +sometime N.C.O. of the Battery. + +'There was not,' he asserted, 'better discipline in any battery in +France. But not a man of us ever heard the Major swear.' + +It was a great friend of mine that I had gone forth to see: a cricketer +whose only sin was the century that kept him out of the pavilion: a man +without an enemy but the one he turned out to fight at forty. Yet the +man I am gladdest to have seen that day on the Somme is not my friend, +but my friend's friend and Major.... And to think that he opened his +kindly fire upon me by saying absurd things about the only book of mine +which has very many friends; and that I let him, God forgive me, instead +of bowing down before the gorgeous man! + + +THE GUARDS + +The Jocks started me thinking in units, the Gunners set me off on the +chance meetings of this little war, and between them they have taken me +rather far afield from my Noah's Ark in the mud. But I am not going back +just yet, though the ground is getting dangerous. I am only too well +aware of that. It is presumptuous to praise the living; and I for one +would rather stab a man in the back than pat him on it; but may I humbly +hope that I do neither in these notes? The bristling risks shall not +deter me from speaking of marvellous men as I found them, nor yet from +expressing as best I may the homage they inspired. I can only leave out +their names, and the names of the places where we met, and trust that my +precautions are not themselves taken in vain. But there is no veiling +whole units, or at least no avoiding some little rift within the veil. +And when the unit is the Guards--but even the Guards were not all in one +place last winter. + +Enough that at one time there were Guardsmen to be seen about the +purlieus of that 'battered caravanserai' which the war found an antique +city of sedate distinction, and is like to leave yet another scrap-heap. +The Guards were in the picture there, if not so much so as the Jocks; +for in kilt and bonnet the Jocks on active service are more like Jocks +than the Guards are like Guardsmen; nevertheless, and wherever they +wander, the Guards are quite platitudinously unlike any other troops on +earth. + +Memorable was the night they first swarmed into my first hut. +'Debouched,' I daresay, would be the more becoming word; but at any rate +they duly marched upon the counter, in close order at that, and (as the +correspondents have it) 'as though they had been on parade.' Few of them +had anything less than a five-franc note; all required change; soon +there was not a coin in the till. I wish the patronesses of Grand +Clearance Sales could have seen how the Guards behaved that night. Not +one of them showed impatience; not one of them was inconsiderate, much +less impolite; the sanctity of the queue could not have been more +scrupulously observed had our Labour boy been there to see to nothing +else. He was not there, and I sighed for him when there was time to +sigh; for it was easily the hardest night's work I had in France. But +the Guards did their best to help us; they were always buying more than +they wanted, 'to make it even money'; continually prepared to present +the Y.M.C.A. with the change we could not give them. Never was a body +of men in better case--calmer, more immaculate, better-set-up, more +dignified and splendid to behold. They might have walked across from +Wellington Barracks; they were actually fresh from what I have heard +them call 'the Cambrai do.' + +There was a bitterly cold night a little later on; it was also later in +the night. My young chief was already a breathing pillar of blankets. I +was still cowering over a reddish stove, thinking of the old hot-water +bottle which was even then preparing a place for my swaddled feet: from +outer darkness came the peculiar crunch of heavy boots--many pairs of +them--rhythmically planting themselves in many inches of frozen snow. I +went out and interviewed a Guards' Corporal with eighteen eager, silent +file behind him, all off a leave train and shelterless for the night, +unless we took them in. I pointed out that we had no accommodation +except benches and trestle-tables, and the bare boards of the hut, where +the stove had long been black and the clean mugs were freezing to their +shelf. + +'We shall be very satisfied,' replied the Corporal, 'to have a roof over +us.' + +I can hear him now: the precise note of his appreciation, candid yet not +oppressive: the dignified, unembittered tone of a man too proud to make +much of a minor misfortune of war. Yet for fighting-men just back from +Christmas leave, howsoever it may have come about, what a welcome! I +never felt a greater brute than lying warm in my bed, within a yard of +the stove that still blushed for me, and listening to those silent men +taking off their accoutrements with as little noise as possible, +preparing for a miserable night without a murmur. Later in the winter, +it was said that men were coming back from leave disgruntled and +depressed. My answer was this story of the Corporal and the eighteen +freezing file. But they were Guardsmen nearly all. + +Not the least interesting of individual Guardsmen was one who across our +counter nicely and politely declared himself an anarchist. It was the +slack hour towards closing-time, before the National Anthem at the +cinema prepared us for the final influx, and I am glad I happened to be +free to have that chat. It was most instructive. My Guardsman, who was +accompanied by the inevitable Achates, was not a temporary soldier; both +were fine, seasoned men of twelve or thirteen years' service, who had +been through all the war, with such breaks as their tale of wounds had +necessitated. The anarchist did all the talking, beginning (most +attractively to me) about cricket. He was a keen watcher of the game, an +old habitue of Burton Court and intense admirer of certain +distinguished performers for the Household Brigade. 'A great man!' was +his concise encomium for more than one. How the anarchy came in I have +forgotten. It was decked in dark sayings of a rather homely cut, +concerning the real war to follow present preliminaries; but I thought +the real warrior was himself rather in the dark as to what it was all to +be about. At any rate he failed to enlighten me, as perhaps I failed to +enlighten him on the common acceptation of the term 'anarchy.' Reassure +me he did, however, by several parenthetical observations, which seemed +to fall from the inveterate soldier rather than the _soi-disant_ +revolutionary. + +'But of course we shall see this war through first,' he kept +interrupting himself to impress on me. 'Nothing will be done till we +have beaten Germany.' + +On balance I was no wiser about the anarchist point of view, but all the +richer for this peep into a Guardsman's mind. It was like a good +sanitary cubicle filled with second-hand gimcrackery, but still the same +good cubicle, still in essentials exactly like a few thousand more. The +meretricious jumble was kept within rigid bounds of discipline and good +manners, and not as a temporary measure either; for I was solemnly +assured that the 'real war,' when it came, would be a bloodless one. +Let us hope other incendiaries will adopt my friend's somewhat difficult +ideal of an ordered anarchy! As for his manners, I can only say I have +heard views with which I was in full personal agreement made more +offensive by a dogmatic advocate than were these monstrous but quite +amiable nebulosities. If anarchy is to come, I know which anarchist I +want to 'ride in the whirlwind and direct the storm'; he will spare +Burton Court, I do believe; and even catch himself saluting, with true +Guards' _elan_, the 'great men' who are still permitted to hit out of +it. + +Tradition in the Guards, you conjecture, means more than machine-guns, +more than artillery support; it is half the battle they are always +pulling out of the fire. It may be other things as well. I heard a +delightful story about one Battalion--but I heard it from a +fellow-tradesmen whose business it is (or was, before the war) to say +more than his prayers. The libel, for it is too good to be true, was +that one of the senior Battalions, having given a dinner in some Flemish +town early in the war, did a certain amount of inadvertent damage to +municipal property during the subsequent proceedings. One in authority +wrote to apologise to the _maire_, enclosing the wherewithal for +reparation: whereupon the _maire_ presented himself in high glee, +brandishing an equally handsome apology for the same thing done in the +same place by the same Regiment in--1711! + +One royal night I had myself as the guest of a Company in another of +their Battalions. The camp was about half-way between our hut and the +front line, near the road and in mud enough to make me feel at home. But +whereas we weltered in a town-locked pool, this was in the open sea; not +a tree or a chink of masonry in sight; just a herd of 'elephants' or +Nissen huts, linked up by a network of duck-boards like ladders floating +in the mud. Mud! It was more like clotted cocoa to a mind debauched by +such tipple, and the great split tubes of huts like a small armada +turned turtle in the filth. + +The outer tube I think was steel--duly corrugated--but wooden inner +tubes made the mess-hut and the one I shared with my host voluptuously +snug and weather-proof. It was the wildest and wettest night of all the +winter, but not a drop or a draught came in anywhere, and I am afraid I +thought with selfish satisfaction of the many perforations in our own +thin-skinned hut. An open fire was another treat to me; and I remember +being much intrigued by a buttery-hatch in the background. It reminded +me of the third act of _The Admirable Crichton_. + +There were only four of us at dinner, or five including a parrot who +hopped about saying things I have forgotten. All the other three were +temporary Guardsmen; that I knew; but to me they seemed the lineal +descendants of the bear-skinned and whiskered heroes in old volumes of +_Punch_. I suppose they were colder in their Balaclava huts, but I +warrant the other atmosphere was much the same. We should not have had +Wagner on a gramophone before Sebastopol; but they would have given me +Veuve Cliquot, or whatever the very best may have been in those days; +and if I had committed the solecism of asking for more bread, having +consumed my statutory ration, the mess-waiter of 1855 would have put me +right in the same solicitous undertone that spared my blushes in 1918. +The perfect blend of luxury and discipline would have been as +captivating then as now and ever, and the kindness of my hosts a thing +to write about in fear and trembling, no matter how gratefully. + +But there would have been no duck-boards to follow through wind and rain +to my host's warm hut, and I should not be looking back upon as snug a +winter's night as one could wish to spend. How we lay talking while the +storm frittered its fury upon the elephant's tough hide! Once more it +was talk of schooldays, but not of mine; it was all about Eton this +time, and nearly all about a boy there who had been most dear to us +both. He was now out here in his grave; but which of them was not? Of +the group that I knew best before the war, only he whom I was with +to-night! I lay awake listening to his even breathing, and prayed that +he at least might survive the holocaust yet to come. + + + + +A BOY'S GRAVE + +(_February, 1918_) + + +Somewhere in Flanders there was a ruined _estaminet_, with an early +trench running round it, that I longed to see for the sake of a grave in +a farm-yard not far behind. The grave itself was known to be +obliterated. Though dug very deep by men who loved the boy they laid +there at dead of night, and though the Sergeant (who loved him most) +could say what a strong cross they had placed over it, the grave was so +situated, and the whole position so continuously under fire, that +official registration was never possible, nor any further reassurance to +be had. The boy's Division went out of the Line, and at length went back +into another sector; but more than one officer who knew his people, and +one brave friend who had only heard of them, searched the spot without +avail. For two years it was so near the enemy and so heavily shelled +that the fear became a moral certainty that everything had been swept +away; then the boy's father chanced to meet his Army Commander; and +that great human soldier ordered the investigation that bore out every +dread. Nothing remained to mark the grave. And yet I longed to see the +place; the tide of battle had at last receded; at least I might see what +was left of the trench where the boy had fallen, and have something to +tell his mother on my return. So I had set my heart, originally, on +working for the Y.M.C.A. in Flanders. Had I been given my way about +that, very little that I have now to tell could possibly have happened. + +It was ordained, however, that I should go to France, and a long way +down the Line, an impossible journey from my secret goal. To be honest, +I had a voice in this myself, and even readily acquiesced in the +arrangement; for there were sound reasons for taking the first opening +that offered; and on reflection I saw myself the unsoundness of my first +position. After all, I was not going out for secret or for private ends; +and even in Flanders, what means or what authority should I have had for +hunting among graves, marked or unmarked? What guide could I have hoped +to get to show me all I wished to see, and what could I have seen or +done without a guide? Already the new plan spelt a providential +exclusion from a sphere of futile mortification and divided desires: to +France I went, and with an easy mind. And in France the first people I +saw, in my first hut, as customers across the counter, were the boy's +old Division! + +I suppose the odds against that must have been fairly long. Of all the +Divisions in the B.E.F. only three were plying between our town and the +Line; and of those three that Division was one. It was, moreover, the +one that we saw most of in the Ark. Theirs were the pink barracks just +outside our gates; it was their cinema that lay across our bows in the +mud; their motley Battalions that could make the hut a Babel of all the +dialects in Great Britain. The boy's Brigade was up the Line when I +arrived; in a few days it came down, and under the familiar regimental +cap-badge how eagerly I sought the faces that looked old enough to have +three years' service! They are the veterans of this war; but few, it +seemed, were left. Did I discover one, he had not been in B Company. I +grew ashamed of questioning. It was not before the Brigade had been up +the Line for another sixteen days, and come back again, that a little +hard-bitten man aroused fresh hopes and passed all tests. He had not +only been in the Regiment at the time, but in B Company; not only in B +Company, but in the boy's Platoon; there when he fell; one of the burial +party! + +We had a long talk in the inner room. It appeared there were two other +survivors of the old Platoon; the Sergeant, as I knew to my sorrow, had +died Company Sergeant-Major at Passchendaele. Of the other two, one in +particular, now a bandsman but in 1915 a stretcher-bearer, could tell me +everything: he should come and see me himself. He never did come, and I +saw no more of the little man who promised to send him. Once again they +all went up the Line, and by the time that tour was over I had deserted +the hut near their barracks. The little man called there and left a +message; it was to say he was going on leave for three weeks, and the +Battalion were going away to rest. When they all got back, he would +bring the bandsman to see me without fail. + +It is a long story; but then Coincidence (or what we will) was +stretching a very long arm. Coincidence (at least in the literal sense) +was indeed stretching out both arms: one of them was busy all this time +at distant Ypres. An unknown friend there, remotely connected with the +boy's people, thought he had discovered the boy's grave. He had written +home to say so; the news was sent out to me, and we got into +correspondence. He had searched the shell-blasted farm-yard where the +burial was known to have taken place, and he had discovered--evidence. +Some of this evidence he eventually sent me: a cheap French or Flemish +watch, red with the rust and mould of a soldier's grave: just the watch +that a boy would buy at the nearest town for his immediate needs. Now, +at the time of his death, this boy's watch was being mended in London; +therefore, the one now in my hands was good evidence as far as it went. +A boot-strap had been found as well, and something else that tallied +terribly; on the strength of all this testimony, and of an instinctive +certainty in the mind of our unknown friend, a new cross already marked +the site of these discoveries. He wanted me to see the place for myself, +and as soon as possible, in case the enemy should make his expected +thrust in that quarter. Nor could I have gone too soon for my own +satisfaction. Grave or no grave (for I could not quite share his +sanguine conviction), I longed to grasp the hand of a man who had done +so much for people he had never met: and to see all there was to see +with my own eyes. + +But it is not so easy to travel sixty miles up or down the Line. It is a +question of permits, which take some getting, and of facilities which +very properly do not exist. Military railways are not for the transport +of civilian camp-followers on private business; moreover, they do go +slow when there is no military occasion for much speed; and I had my +work, when all was said. But my luck (if you like) was in again. The +first old friend that I had met in France was a friend in a higher place +than I may say. Already he had shown himself my friend indeed; now, in +my need---- But here the coincidences multiply, and must be kept +distinct. + +On the very morning I heard from Ypres--with the watch and the +invitation--I was due to visit this old friend in another part +altogether. He sent his car for me, the splendid man. I showed him my +letter from Ypres. + +'You will have to go,' he said. + +'But how?' + +'In my car.' + +'Sixty miles!' + +(It was much more from where he was.) + +'You can have it for two days.' + +I could not thank him; nor can I here. How can a man speak for the +mother of an only child, whose grave he was to see with her eyes as well +as with his own, so that one day he might tell her all? Without a car, +in fine, the thing was impossible. There are no thanks for actions such +as this: none that words do not belittle. A day was fixed, ten days +ahead; this gave me time to write to the boy's mother, and gave her time +to send direct to Ypres all the bulbs and plants that she could get, to +make her child's bed as gay that spring as he himself had been all the +days they were together. + +And yet--and yet--_was_ it his grave that had been found? _Was_ the +evidence as good as it seemed? I was going all the way to Ypres on the +strength of that local evidence only. If I could but have taken one or +other of those two men who were there when it happened in 1915! But one +of them was away on leave, his three weeks not nearly up; the other, the +bandsman who knew most of all, might or might not be with the Battalion; +but the Battalion itself was still away. I found that out for certain on +the morning of the day before I was to start. They were still resting +many kilometres back. I had no means of getting to them, even if I had +had the right sort of desire; but the fact was that everything had come +about so beautifully without one move of mine, that I was quite +consciously content to drift in the current of an unfathomable +influence. + +That afternoon there came to my hut, for no particular reason that he +ever told me, a man I had not met before. He was the Senior Chaplain of +the boy's Division. We made friends, by what steps I cannot remember, +but I must have told him where I was going next day. He was interested. +I told him the whole thing. He said: 'But surely there must be somebody +in the Battalion that you could take with you, to identify the place?' I +told him there was such a man, a bandsman, but the Battalion was away +resting and I was not sure but that the man himself was on leave. Said +the Chaplain: 'I can find out. I know where they are. I can get them on +the telephone. If you don't hear from me again, go round their way in +the morning when you get the car. It's ten kilometres in the wrong +direction, but it may be worth your while.' + +Worth my while! I did not hear from him again; not a word all that +anxious evening to spoil the prospect he had opened up; and in the +morning came the car, a powerful limousine, mine for the next two days! +My pass from the A.P.M. was for Ypres only, but I did not think of that. +In less than an hour we had found those rest-billets among ploughed +fields at peace in the spring sunshine; and at the right regimental +headquarters, a young Corporal ready waiting in his field overcoat. It +_was_ the bandsman: he who had been nearest to the boy at the very last, +to whose special care his dear body had been committed. The living man +who had most to tell me! + +And the first thing he told me showed what a mercy it was to have him +with me; but at the moment it came as a shock. I had shown him the +watch; he had shaken his head. No watch had been buried with the boy; of +that the Corporal was unshakably certain; and he was the man to know, +the man whose duty it had been to make sure at the time. Away went our +strongest piece of evidence! Then I told him about the boot-strap, +always a doubtful item in my own mind; and the Corporal swept it aside +at once. The boy had not worn boots with straps; he had worn ordinary +laced boots and puttees; exactly as I had been thinking at the back of +my mind. He had not been out many weeks, and I knew every noble inch of +him that went away. So, after all, it was not his grave that had been +found! That would have been a grievous blow but for the transcending +thought--it was not his grave that had been disturbed! And we might +never have known but for this young soldier at my side who was saying +quite confidently that he could show me where the grave really was! One +of--at most--three living men who could! + +Who had brought him to my side--at the last moment--the very man I +wanted--the one man needful? + +To be sure, the Senior Chaplain of their Division; but why should the +Senior Chaplain, a man I never saw before, have come to my hut in the +nick of time to do me this service, so definitely desired? Why should I +myself have come to the very place in France where the Division was +waiting for me--the one place where I had also an old friend with a car +to lend me when the time came? Why had I not gone to Belgium (to be near +the boy) as I at first intended? And why, at that very time, should a +complete stranger have been making entirely independent efforts to find +the grave in Belgium that I yearned to see? + +'Chance' is no answer, unless the word be held to cover an organic +tissue of chances, each in turn closely related to some other chance, +all component parts of a chance whole! And what sensation novelist would +build a plot on such foundations and hope to make his tale convincing? +Not I, at my worst; and there were more of these chances still to come, +albeit none that mattered as did those already recounted. + +Nor is there very much left to tell that bears telling here. In Ypres I +did not find my great unknown friend; he had warned me, when it was too +late to alter plans, that he might be called home on a private matter; +and this had happened. But he had told me I should find his 'trusty +Sergeant,' who had taken part in the investigations, ready to help me in +every way; and so, indeed, I did. The man was, among other things, an +enthusiastic amateur gardener; he had known exactly what to do with the +bulbs and plants, which he had unpacked on their arrival and was keeping +nice and moist for next morning. But this was not the first thing we +had to talk about. The first thing was to impress upon the Sergeant the +importance of not letting my witness know that a new cross had been put +up, and so to ensure absolutely independent identification of the spot. +He gave me his promise, and I know he kept it. + +Next morning, under a leaden February sky, the three of us drove north +in the car, accompanied by a second Sergeant with digging tools, in case +the bandsman located the grave elsewhere and I was bent upon some proof. +At the time I did not know why he was with us; later, the quiet little +fact above spoke volumes for the good faith of the party. It was +completed by a young Catholic Padre from Ypres, so that the only office +which the boy had lacked at the hands of his dear men might now be +fulfilled. + +I am following the course we took upon a military map given to the boy's +father by one of the many officers who had befriended him in his +trouble; and I had been prepared for the thickening cluster of +shell-holes further on by more than one aeroplane photograph sent from +Army Headquarters. O that all whom this war has robbed of their hearts' +delight could know, as this father knows, how the huge heart of the Army +is with them in their sorrow! There was the Army Commander, who had +done what he could for a man he met but once by chance; it was not much +that even he could do, but how more than readily it had been done! And +now here in the car, itself a tangible sign of infinite compassion, were +these N.C.O.'s and this young priest, with their grave faces and their +kind eyes! One's heart went out to them. It seemed all wrong to be +taking men, who any day might be in theirs, to see a soldier's grave in +cold blood. So we fell to discussing the sky, the mud, and such +landmarks as remained, quite simply and naturally, as the boy himself +would have wished. + +'Plains that the moonlight turns to sea,' the boy had quoted in +describing the plain we were crossing now; but it had become a broken +plain since his time; covered with elephant huts and pill-boxes, scored +by light railways; the roads on which no man might live in those days, +themselves alive with traffic in these, with lorries and men and all the +abundant activities of a host behind a host. The car stopped one or two +hundred yards from our destination, towards which we threaded our way +over duck-boards, through and past these mushroom habitations, till we +came to the green open space which was all that remained of the farm. +Not a stone or a brick to be seen; not even a heap of bricks, or a +charred beam, or the empty socket of pillar or post; only the two +gate-posts themselves, looking like the stumps of trees. But what better +than a gateway to give a man his bearings? It led the bandsman straight +to a regular file of such stumps, which really had been trees: and in +his path stood a white cross, new and sturdy, at which I had been +looking all the time: at which he stopped without looking twice, still +studying the ground and the bits of landmarks that survived. It was the +place. + +It was the boy's grave; and the discoverer's--nay, the +diviner's--instinct stood vindicated as wonderfully as his evidence had +been discredited. Almost adjoining it was a great shell-hole full of +water; but it was not our grave that the shell had rifled. Our grave had +been dug too deep. It was as though the boy himself had said: 'It's my +grave all right--but I don't want you to go thinking those were my +things! All that was me or mine is just as they left it.' + +So we took off our helmets and stood listening to the young priest +reading the last office, in Latin first and then in English. And many of +the beautiful sentences were punctuated by loud reports, which I took +for our guns if I thought of them at all; for as yet I had heard hardly +anything else down south; but after the service I saw little black +balloons appearing by magic in mid-air, expanding into dingy cloudlets, +and presently dissolving shred by shred. It was enemy shrapnel all the +time. + +Then the two Sergeants prepared the ground with gentle skill; and we +knelt and put in the narcissus bulbs, the primroses and pinks, the phlox +and the saxifrage, that the boy's mother had sent him; and a baby +rose-tree from an old friend who loved him, in the corner of England +that he loved best; it must be climbing up his cross, if it has lived to +climb at all. + +The clouds had broken before the service ended with the sprinkling of +Holy Water; and now between the shell-bursts, while we were yet busy +planting, came strains of distant music, as thin and faint and valiant +as the February sunshine. It was one of our British bands, perhaps at +practice in some safe fold of the famous battle-field, more likely +assisting at some ceremonial further away than I imagined; for they +seemed to be playing very beautifully; and when they finished with 'Auld +Lang Syne' they could not have hung more pathetically upon the closing +bars if they had been playing at our graveside, for the boy who always +loved a band. + +Then there was his trench to see; but it was full of water where it had +not fallen in, and was not like a trench any more. And the _estaminet_ +at the cross-roads, that cruelly warm corner whence he passed into +peace, it too had vanished from the earth. But the gentle slope that had +been No-Man's Land was much as he must have seen it in anxious summer +dawns, and under the stars that twinkled on so many of his breathless +adventures in the early bombing days, when he pelted Germans in their +own trench with his own hand, and thought it all 'a jaunt'; thought it +'just like throwing in from cover'; declared it 'as safe as going up to +a man's front door-bell--pulling it--and running off again!' + +Well, this was where he had played those safe games; and true enough, it +was not by them he met his death, but standing-to down there under +shell-fire, on a summer's morning after his own heart, with eyes like +the summer sky turned towards the same line of trees my eyes were +beholding now, his last thought for his men. I could almost hear his +eager question: + +'Is everybody all right?' + +They were the boy's last words. + +Did I enter into the spirit of all that last chapter of his dear life +the better for being on the scene, and watching shrapnel burst over it +even as he had watched it a thousand times? I cannot say I did. I doubt +if I could have entered into it more than I always had ... we were such +friends. But how _he_ must be entering into the whole spirit of my whole +pilgrimage! It was like so much of his old life and mine. Always he knew +that he had only to call and I would come to him, at school or wherever +he was; many a time I had jumped into a car and gone, though he never +did call me in his life. _Had he now?_ ... There was my friend's car +waiting, as it might have been once more in the lane opposite 'the old +grey Chapel behind the trees.' ... And here were we passengers, a party +from the four winds, all brought together by different agencies for the +same simple end. Who had brought us? Who had prompted or inspired those +directly responsible for our being there? It was not, you perceive, a +case of one god from a machine, but of three at the very least. Who had +so beautifully arranged the whole difficult thing? + +Even to that band! But for 'Auld Lang Syne' one might not take it +seriously for a moment; but remembering those searching strains, and the +pathos put into them, the early hour, the wild place, the bursting +shrapnel, who can help the flash of fancy? Not one who will never forget +the boy's gay, winning knack of getting bands to play what he wanted; +this was just the tune he would have called, that we might all join +hands and not forget him, yet remember cheerily for his sake! + +But it all _had_ been as he would have had it if he could: not one +little thing like that, but the whole big thing he _must_ have wanted: +all granted to him or his without their mortal volition at any stage. +Chances or accidents, by the chapter, if you will! No man on earth can +prove the contrary; and yet there are few, perhaps, who have lost their +all in this war, and who would not thank God for such a string of +happenings. But one does not thank God for a chain of chances. And if +any link was of His forging, why not the whole chain, as two thankful +people dare to think? + + + + +THE REST HUT + +(_February-March, 1918_) + + +FRESH GROUND + +It was not my inspiration to run one of our huts entirely as a library +for the troops. I was merely the fortunate person chosen to conduct the +experiment. In most of the huts there was already some small supply of +books for circulation, and at our headquarters in the town a dusty +congestion of several hundred volumes which nobody had found time to +take in hand. The idea was to concentrate these scattered units, to +obtain standard reinforcements from London and the base, indent for all +the popular papers and magazines, and go into action as a Free Library +at the Front. It was at first proposed to do without any kind of a +canteen; but I was all against driving a keen reader elsewhere for his +tea, and held out for light refreshments after four and cigarettes all +the time. On this and many other points I was given my way in a fashion +that would have fired anybody to make the venture a success. + +The hut placed at my disposal was a very good one in the middle of the +town, indeed within the palisade of the once magnificent Town Hall. That +grandiose pile had been knocked into mountains of rubbish, with the mere +stump of its dizzy belfry still towering over all as the Matterhorn of +the range. These ruins formed one side of a square like a mouthful of +bad teeth, all hollow stumps or clean extractions; our upstart hut was +the only whole building of any sort within sight. It had a better saloon +than my last land-ship; on the other hand, it was infested with rats +from the surrounding wrecks. They would lope across the floor under +one's nose, or dangle their tails from the beams overhead, and I slept +with a big stick handy. + +Relays of peace-time carpenters, borrowed from their units for a day or +two each, fell upon all the benches and table-tops they required, and +turned them into five long tiers of book-shelves behind the counter. In +the meantime our own Special Artist was busy on a new and noble scheme +of decoration, and two or three of us up to our midriffs in the first +thousand books. They were a motley herd: the sweepings of unknown +benefactors' libraries, the leavings of officers and men, cunning shafts +from the devout of all denominations, and the first draft of cheap +masterpieces from the base. Classification was beyond me, even if time +had been no object: how could one classify 'The Sol of Germany,' 'A +Yorkstireman Alroad,' 'The Livinz Waze,' 'From Workhouse to Westminster: +Life-Story of With Gooks, M.P.' (four copies), or even the books these +titles stood for in the typewritten catalogue that arrived (from Paris) +too late to entertain us? All authors in alphabetical order seemed the +simplest principle; and in practice even that arrangement ran away with +days. + +Then each volume had to be labelled (over the publishers' imprint on the +binding) and the labels filled in with the letter and number of each in +one's least illegible hand; and this took more days, though the rough +draft of the catalogue emerged simultaneously; and the merit of the +plan, if any, was that the catalogue order eventually coincided with +that of the actual books on the shelves. The drawback was that books +kept dropping in or turning up too late for insertion in their proper +places. I could think of no better way out of this difficulty than by +resorting to a large Z class, or dump, for late-comers. This met the +case though far from satisfying my instincts for the rigour of a game. +Another time (this coming winter, for instance, when I hope to have it +all to do again) I shall be delighted to adopt some more approved method +of dealing with a growing library; last spring one had to do the best +one could by the light of nature. Nevertheless, there was not much amiss +(except the handwriting) with the clean copy (in carbon duplicate) of a +catalogue which ran to a good many thousand words, and kept two of us +out of bed till several successive midnights; for by this time I had a +staunch confederate who took the whole thing as seriously as I did, and +perhaps even found it as good fun. + +We had hoped to open--it was really very like producing a play--early in +February, but a variety of vicissitudes delayed the event until the +twentieth of the month. As the day approached we had many visitors, who +had heard of our effort and were prepared to spread our fame; time was +well lost in showing them round, and I confess I enjoyed the job. They +had to begin by admiring the scraper. It was perhaps the worst scraper +in Europe--I ached for a week from sinking its two uprights into harder +chalk with a heavier pick-axe than I thought existed--but it was +symbolical. It meant that you could leave the mud of war outside our +hut; but I am afraid the first thing to be seen inside was inconsistent +with this symbol. It was the complete _Daily Mail_ sketch-map of the +Western Front, the different sheets joined together and mounted on the +locked door opposite the one in use. The feature of this feature was +that the Line was pegged out from top to bottom with the best red-tape +procurable in the town. It toned delightfully with the art-green of the +sketch-map. + +In the ordinary Y.M.C.A. nobody would have seen it! In winter, at any +rate, it is dusk at high noon in the ordinary hut, which is lighted only +by canvas windows under the eaves. In our hut, however, we had a pair of +fine skylights, expressly cut to save our readers' eyes, and glazed with +some shimmering white stuff which seemed to increase the light, like a +fall of snow, instead of slightly diluting it like the best of glass. +The side windows glistened with the same material, so that a dull day +seemed to clear up as you entered. Between the skylights stood four +trestle tables under one covering of American cloth, whereon the day's +papers, magazines and weeklies, were to be displayed club-fashion; the +writing tables, likewise in American cloth, were arranged under the side +windows; and at an even distance from either end of the fourfold reading +table were the two stoves. One stove is the ordinary hut-allowance. + +Round each stove ran a ring of canvas and wicker arm-chairs, in which a +tired man might read himself to sleep, and between the chairs stood +little round tables for his tea and biscuits when he woke. They were +garden tables painted for the part, with spidery black legs and bright +vermilion tops, and on each a nice new ash-tray (of the least possible +intrinsic value, I admit) in further imitation of the club smoking-room. +That was the atmosphere I wanted for the body of the hut. + +At the platform end we were ready for anything, from itinerant lecturers +to the most local preacher, and from hymns to comic songs; the best +piano in the area was equal to any strain; and a somewhat portentous +rostrum, though not knocked together for me, was just my height, while +the American cloth in which we found it was a dead match for our +extensive importations of that fabric. It was at this end of the hut +that our Special Artist and Decorator had excelled himself. All down the +sides were his frieze of flags, his dado of red and white cotton in +alternate stripes, and his own extraordinarily effective chalk drawings +on sheets of brown paper between the windows. But for the angle under +the roof, over the platform, he had reserved his masterpiece. One day, +while we were still busy with the books, our handy man of genius had +stood for an hour or two on a ladder; and descending, left behind him a +complete allegorical cartoon of Literature, including many life-size +figures in flowing robes busy with the primitive tools of one's trade. +I am not an art critic, like my friend the war correspondent, who +ruthlessly detected faults in drawing, instead of applauding all we had +to show him; to me, the pride of our walls was at least a remarkable +_tour de force_. The Official Photographer was to have come at a later +date to witness if I exaggerate. He left it too long. He may have +another chance this winter. 'Literature' has been preserved. + +These private views too often started at the counter, because visitors +had a way of entering through my room; but to see the library as I do +think it deserved seeing, one had to turn one's back upon all I have +described, and with a proper piety bear down upon the books. In their +five long shelves, each edged and backed with the warm red cotton of the +dado, and broken only by my door behind the counter, those thirty yards +of good and bad reading were wholly good to see, on our opening day +especially, before the first borrower had made the first gap in their +serried ranks. There indeed stood they at attention, their labels at the +same unwavering height as so many pairs of puttees (except the few I had +not affixed myself); and I felt that I, too, had turned a mob into an +army. + +Immediately over the top row, on a scroll expertly lettered by our +Special Illuminator (another of our talented band), its own new motto, +from Thomas a Kempis, ran right across the hut: + +_Without Labour there is no Rest; nor without Fighting can the Victory +be Won._ + +I really think I was as pleased with that, on the morning I thought of +it in bed (having just decided to call the hut The Rest Hut), as +Thackeray is said to have been when he danced about his bedroom +crying--'"Vanity Fair"! "Vanity Fair"! "Vanity Fair"!' But I only once +heard a remark upon our motto from the men. 'Well, that's logic anyhow!' +said one when he had read it out across the counter. I could have wished +for no better comment from a soldier. + +Higher still, in the angle of the roof at this end, the flags of the +Allies enfolded the Sign of the Rest Hut, which was an adaptation of the +Red Triangle. I was having a slightly more elaborate version compressed +into a rubber stamp for all literary matter connected with the hut. + +The rubber stamp did not arrive in time for the opening; nor had there +been time to stick our few rules into more than a few of the books. But +I had a paste-pot and a pile of these labels ready on the counter. And +since we _are_ going into details, one may as well swing for the whole +sheep:-- + + THE REST HUT LIBRARY + (=Y.M.C.A.=) + + _This book may be taken out on a deposit of =1 franc.= + which will be returned when the book is brought back._ + + _Books cannot be exchanged more than once daily, and + no Reader is entitled to more than one volume at a + time._ + + _A book may be kept as long as required: but in each + other's interests Readers are begged to return all + books as soon as they conveniently can, and in as good + order as possible._ + +Frankly, we flattered ourselves on dispensing with time-limit and fine; +and in practice I can commend that revolutionary plan to other amateur +librarians. Obviously you are much less likely to get a book back at all +if you want more money with it. You shall hear in what circumstances +many of ours were to come back, and at what touching trouble to men of +whom one can hardly bear to think to-day. + +But all the books were not for circulation; a Poetry and Reference Shelf +bestrode my end of the counter. Duplicate Poets were to be allowed out +like novels; but they were not expected to have many followers. A more +outstanding feature, perhaps the apple of the librarian's glasses was +the New Book Table, just in front of the counter at the same end. I +thought a tableful of really new books would be tremendously attractive +to the real readers, that their mere appearance might convey a certain +element of morale. So one long day I had spent upon fifteen begging +letters to fifteen different publishers--not the same begging letter +either, for some of them I knew and some knew me not wisely but too +well. On the whole the fifteen played up, and the New Book Table was +well and truly spread for the inaugural feast. The novelties were to +grace it for a fortnight before going into the catalogue; and we started +with quite a brave display. There were travels and biographies, new +novels and books of verse, all spick-and-span in their presentation +wrappers; and we arranged them most artistically on a gaudy table-cloth +that cost thirty francs; with a large cardboard mug (by our Illuminator) +warning other mugs off the course. And I think that really is the last +of our preparations, unless I mention the receptacles for waste-paper, +which proved quite unable to compete against the floor. + +They were, I daresay, the most fatuously faddy and elaborate +preparations ever made for a library which might be blown sky-high at +any moment by a shell. I had not forgotten that none too remote +contingency. But it was the last thing I wanted any man to remember +from the moment he crossed our threshold. We were just about five miles +from the Germans, and I had gone to work exactly as I should in the +peaceful heart of England. But that was just where I wanted a man to +think himself--until he stepped back into the War. + + +OPENING DAY + +It really _was_ rather like a first night; but there was this +intimidating difference, that whereas the worst play in the world draws +at least one good house, we were by no means certain of that measure of +success. Our venture had been announced, most kindly, in Divisional +Orders, as well as verbally at the Y.M. Cinema; but still we knew it was +not everybody who believed in us, and that 'a wash-out' had been +predicted with some confidence. Even those in authority, who had most +handsomely given me my head, were some of them inclined to shake theirs +over the result. It was therefore an exciting moment when we opened at +two o'clock on the appointed afternoon. There was more occasion for +excitement when I had to lock the door for the last time some weeks +later; and the two disappointments are not to be compared; but my +private cup has seldom filled more suddenly than when I unlocked it with +my own hand--and beheld not one solitary man in sight! 'A wash-out' was +not the word. It was my Niagara. + +At least it looked like it; but after one bad quarter of an hour it +turned into a steady trickle of repentant warriors. If the two of us +had been holding a redoubt against the enemy, I am not sure that we +should have been more delighted to see them than we were. In half an +hour the big reading table was surrounded by solemn faces; each of the +two stoves had its full circle in the easy chairs; the New Book Table +had been discovered, was being thronged, and the best piano in the area +yielding real music to the touch of a real pianist. The Rest Hut had +started on its short but happy voyage. + +Those there were who came demanding candles and boot-polish, and who +fled before our softest answers; and there were seekers after billiards +who had to be directed elsewhere for their game. I had tipped too many +cues at the last hut, and stopped too many games for the further +performance of that worse than thankless task, to have the essential +quality of the Rest Hut subverted by a billiard-table. The readers, +writers, musicians, and above all the weary men, of an Army Corps were +the fish for my rod; and we had not been open an hour before I was +enjoying good sport, tempered by early misgiving about my flies. + +The first book that I connect with a specific inquiry was one that I had +certainly failed to order. It was 'anything of Walter de la Mare's'; and +I felt a Philistine for having nothing, but a fool for supposing for a +moment that I had pitched my hut within the boundaries of Philistia. +There might have been a conspiracy to undeceive me on the point without +delay. The Poetry Shelf (despite deficiencies so promptly proven) +received attention from the start. I forget if it was Mr. de la Mare's +admirer who presently took out _The Golden Treasury_, of which we +mercifully had several copies; it was certainly a Jock. I showed him the +Shelf, and could have wrung his hand for the tone in which he murmured +'Keats!' It was reverential, awe-stricken and just right. Clearly _his_ +Dominie had not abused the taws. + +In the meantime I had taken a deposit on three prose volumes. These were +they, these the first three authors to cross my counter: + +1. George Meredith: _The Ordeal of Richard Feverel_. + +2. Robert Louis Stevenson: _Across the Plains_. + +3. Hilaire Belloc: _Mr. Clutterbuck's Election_. + +As I say, it seemed like a conspiracy--but I swear I was not one of the +conspirators! They were--my benefactor already--the pianist, and his +friends; three young privates in the R.A.M.C., all afterwards great +friends of mine. Of course, this form was too good to be true of the +mass; and the particular Field Ambulance to which they belonged was an +unusually brainy unit, as I came to know it through many other +representatives; but I shall always be grateful to that musical young +Meredithian for the start he gave me, and may this mite of +acknowledgment meet his spectacles. + +On the same opening page of my first day-book, to be sure, a less +rarefied level is reached by some comparatively pedestrian stuff, +including a work of Mr. Charles Garvice and no fewer than two wastrels +'of my own composure' (as the village organist had it); but my place +(though gratifying) was obviously due to an ulterior curiosity; and +among the twenty-three books in all that went out that afternoon, there +was a further burst of four that went far to restore the higher +standard: they were _Lorna Doone_, _My Novel_, _Nicholas Nickleby_ and +_Oliver Twist_. The two first fell to Jocks; the Blackmore masterpiece +was read forthwith from cover to cover in the trenches, and that Jock +came down by special permission for something else as good! + +A happy afternoon, and of still happier omen! But I was going to need +more 'good stuff'; that was the first hard fact to be faced. I had not +reckoned with those eager intellectuals, the young stretcher-bearers who +had borne a lantern for the nonce. They were going to bring their +friends, and did; and were I to tabulate the books these youths took out +between them, in the busy month to come, it would be pronounced, I +think, as good a little library as a modern young man, with a +sociological bias and a considered outlook, could wish to form. And then +there were all the books we hadn't got for them! But these missing +friends did more, perhaps, to make friends for the Rest Hut than such as +were there to close the subject; for one might be able to suggest +something else instead; and the man might have read that already, but +his face might lighten at the recollection, and across the counter on +our four elbows the pair of us forge that absent book into the first +link of friendship. + +But any one can gossip about the books he loves, and with a soldier at +the front any fool could talk on any topic. So I had it both ways, as +one seldom does, according to the saying. It may be that the men who +found their pleasure in the Rest Hut were by nature responsive and +enthusiastic, and not merely sensitised and refined by the generous +fires of constant camaraderie and unselfish suffering. I am speaking of +them now only as I found them across that narrow counter, while I +deliberately pasted my label of rules inside the cover, and deliberately +dabbed my rubber-stamp down on the fly-leaf opposite. I have seen clean +into a noble heart between these delaying rites and a meticulous entry +in my day-book. It was pain to me when three or four were waiting their +turn, and a certain despatch became imperative; it always meant a +corresponding period without any work or any friend-making across the +counter. + +At the short end, beyond the flap (never lowered in the Rest Hut), my +friend and mate dispensed the cigarettes and biscuits, and tea made with +devoted care by a wrinkled Frenchwoman worth all the Y.M.C.A. orderlies +I ever saw, not excepting the two stalwarts at the Ark. The Rest Hut +orderly was a smart soldier of the old type, a clever carpenter, and a +good cook with large ideas about breakfast. He lived out, did not give +us his whole time, and early struck me as a man of mystery; but he was a +quick and willing worker who did his part by us. The jewel of the hut's +company was my mate. I can only describe him as an Australian Jock, and +of the first water on both sides. Twice or thrice rejected in Australia, +he had come home to try again and yet again with no better luck; so here +he was, with his fine heart and his dry cough, as near the firing-line +as he could get 'for the duration.' I may lose a friend for having said +so much, yet I have to add that he had taken the whole burden of the +till and its attendant accounts (a hut-leader's business) off the +shoulders of inexperience. Friends who predicted the worst of me in +this connection, and are surprised to see me still outside a defaulter's +cell, will please accept the only explanation. + +It was a musical tea that opening afternoon, for another of our talented +troupe brought the pick of his orchestra from the Association Cinema in +the main street hard by; and for an hour it was like the Carlton, with a +difference. I wonder what the Carlton could charge for that difference, +even at this stage of the war! + +Altogether I thought myself the luckiest civilian alive that February +afternoon; but my bed of roses had its crumpled leaf. On the fine great +cardboard programme for the week (next the map: our Illuminator again), +with its cunning slots for moveable amusements, besides that of the +Cinema Orchestra there was something about Prayers. That was where I was +coming in--on the wrong side of the counter--and as the night advanced +it blew a gale inside me. Five minutes before the time, I mounted the +platform and made known the worst; and ever afterwards finished the +evening by pursuing the same plan, so that all who wished could +withdraw, losing only the last five minutes, and no man (I promised +them) have anything unpalatable thrust down his throat. I am not sure +that it was the most courageous method of procedure; but it was mine, +and the men knew where they were. I used to read a few verses, a Vailima +Prayer and but one or two more: some men went out, but there was the +satisfaction of feeling that those who stayed were in the mood for +Prayers. + +After the first week or ten days, a third worker came to help us; and he +being a minister, I persuaded him to relieve me of this nightly duty, +though with a sigh that was not all relief. I always loved reading to +the men, but Prayers are shy work for an old layman, and soldiers (if I +know them) care less for the deathless composition of a Saint than for +the unpremeditated outpouring of the man before their eyes. The minister +used to give them all that, perched on a chair in their midst; and he +kept a much fuller hut than I at my rostrum of American cloth. + + +THE HUT IN BEING + +I had thought of finishing my account of our opening day with the +impressions of a Corporal in the A.S.C., as recorded in his diary that +very night. But though the extract reached me in a most delightful way, +and though decency would have disqualified the flattering estimate of +'the Superintendent' (as 'a man of cheery temperament'), on examination +none of it quite fits in. As description it covers, though with the +fleeter pen of youth, ground on which I have already loitered: enough +that it was all 'a big surprise' to him: 'a "home from home"' already to +one soldier of a literary turn, and likely in his opinion to prove a joy +to 'some of the lonely hearts of the lads in khaki.' _Q.E.F._ + +And though it was weeks and months before the Corporal's testimony came +to hand, it felt from the beginning as though we really had 'done it.' I +say 'it felt,' because there was something in those few thousand cubic +feet of air that one could neither see nor hear; something atmospheric, +and yet far transcending any atmosphere, whether of the smoking-room or +library or what-not, that we had thought to create; for it was something +the men had brought with them, nothing that we had ready. Just as they +say on the stage that it is the audience who do half the acting, so it +was the soldiers who fought half our little battle--and the winning +half. + +Each of those first days the hut seemed fuller than the day before; more +men came early and stayed late; more were to be counted napping round +the stoves (as in my rosiest visions) at the same time; more and more +books were taken out; and better books, because it was the +better-educated men who came flocking in, the intellectual pick of an +Army Corps who made our hut their club. If ever a dream came true, if +ever a reality excelled an ideal, it was in the wonderful success of our +little effort. Little enough, in all conscience; a bubble in the tide of +travail; but it is only in little that these delightful flukes come off, +and the bubble was soon enough to burst. + +In the meantime there were elements of imperfection even in our Rest +Hut: one or two things, and on both sides of the counter, to pique a +passion for the impeccable. + +To begin with the books, we really had _not_ enough Good Stuff. Not +nearly! Nor am I thinking only, nor yet chiefly, of Good Stuff in the +shape of narrative fiction. It is true that we had not Merediths enough, +nor a supply of Wessex Novels in any way equal to the demand among my +Red Cross friends (who read infernally fast) and others of the elect; +nor did the two complete Kipling sets, ordered long before the library +was opened, ever look like coming. These authors we had only in odd +volumes, and few were the nights they spent upon their shelves. But a +novel-reader is a novel-reader, one can generally find him something; my +difficulty was in coping with another type altogether--the real +bookworm--who is far more particular about his food. Anything but novels +for this gentleman as I knew him at the front; and he was often the last +person one would have suspected of his particular tastes, sometimes a +very young gentleman indeed. There was one such, a rugged lad with a +strong Lancashire or Yorkshire accent, whom I thought I should never +suit. Lamb, Emerson, Ruskin and Carlyle, he demanded in turn as glibly +as Woodbines or Gold Flakes; but either I had them not, or they were +out. Macaulay's Essays happened to be in. 'The literary ones?' said the +boy, suspiciously, to my suggestion. 'I don't want the political!' I +remember he took a _Golden Treasury_ in the end; as already noted, I had +several copies, and needed every one. + +Then I found that I required a better selection of technical works of +all sorts. Engineers, especially, want engineering books and journals; +it is a rest to the fighting man to pursue his peace-time interests or +studies at the front. Nothing, one can well imagine, takes him out of +khaki quicker; and that is what his books are for, nor will he shut them +a worse soldier. Of devotional works, as I may have hinted, we opened +with a fair number; this was increased later by a strong consignment +from Tottenham Court Road. But it was impossible to be too strong on +that side--with a Division of Jocks in the sector! + +'It's the only subject that interests me,' said a tight-lipped Scottish +Rifleman, quite simply, on the third day. He was not a man I would have +surrendered to with much confidence on a dark night, but he had brought +back a book called _The Fact of Christ_, and he wanted something else in +the same category. Just then there was nothing; but with imbecile +temerity I did say we had a number of 'religious novels' by a lady of +great eminence. 'I'm no a believer in _her_,' was his only reply. I can +still see his grim ghost of a smile. Himmel help the Hun who sees it +first! + +The young man vanished for his sixteen days, and in his absence came the +bale of theology from Tottenham Court Road. + +'Now I've got something for you,' said I when I saw his keen face again; +and lifted off its shelf Dr. Norman Macleod's most weighty tome. I +cannot check the Parisian typist who rendered the title _Caraid nan +Gaidherl_; the subject, however, was the only one that interested the +Scottish Rifleman, and I took the tongue for his very own. My mistake! + +'But that'll be in Gaelic,' said he, without opening the book. 'I have +never studied Gaelic, though a Highlander born. Now, had it been +Hebrew,' and he really smiled, 'I micht have managed!' + +I saw he might; for obviously he had been a theological student when he +felt it incumbent upon him (especially as such) to play a Jock's part in +the Holy War. I saw, too, that his smile was shy and gentle in its +depths, only grim on top. I think, after all, he would have given his +last cigarette to a prisoner of anything like his own manhood. + +But there was one worse failure than any deficiency on our shelves, and +that, alas! was my own poor dear New Book Table. I had not looked after +it as I ought, and neither had my friend and fellow-worker; in my +eagerness to keep our respective departments ideally distinct, this +fancy one had fallen between two stools. Several of the new books were +missing before we actually missed one; then we took nightly stock, and +with mortifying results. At last it could go on no longer, and the new +books were replaced by old bound volumes of magazines, more difficult +to deport. But I was determined to have it out with the hut; and I chose +the next Sunday evening service, in the course of which I made it a rule +to have my say about things in general, for the delicate duty. + +I didn't a bit like doing it, as I held my regular readers above +suspicion, and they formed the bulk of the little congregation; and that +night I was in any case more nervous than I meant them to see, as for +once I had decided to tackle the 'sermon' myself. It was the first +evening of Summer Time; lamplight was unnecessary; and the splendid men +sitting at ease in the arm-chairs, which they had drawn up to the +platform end, or at the tables or on the floor, made a great picture in +the soft warm dusk. One candle glimmered at the piano, and one on that +egregious rostrum, as I stood up behind it and trembled in my boots. + +I told them the New Book Table had ceased to exist as such; that I had +prostrated myself before fifteen of my natural enemies, in order to +spread that table to their liking; but that there had been so many +desertions from my crack corps that we were obliged to disband it. Not +quite so pat as all that, but in some such words (and to my profound +relief) I managed to get a laugh, which enabled me to say I thought it +hard luck on the ninety-and-nine just persons that the hundredth man +should borrow books without going through the preliminary formalities. +But I added that if they came across any of the deserters, and would +induce them to return to their unit, I should be greatly obliged. They +were jolly enough to clap before I launched into my discourse, and it +was what their rum ration must have been to them. I wish as much could +be done for poor deacons before going over _their_ top. + +But the point is that at least one deserter did return next day; and +what touched me more, the little gifts of books, which they had taken to +bringing me for the library, increased and multiplied from that night. +Nor must I forget the humorist (not one of my high-brows) who +button-holed me on my way back to the counter:-- + +'Beg yer pardon, Mr. 'Ornung, but that pinchin' them new books--wasn't a +Raffles trick, was it?' + +But if we failed where I had thought we were doing something extra +clever, we met with great success in a less deliberate innovation for +which I can claim but little credit. + +In our quiet hut there was no need for the usual Quiet Room; but there +it was, at the platform end, as much use as in the heart of the Great +Sahara. I had thought of turning it into a little informal sort of +lecture-room, for readings and other entertainments which might not be +to everybody's taste. But I had no time to organise or run a side-show; +neither of us had a spare moment in the beginning. Though we never +opened in the morning, except to officers who cared to come in as +friends, there was plenty to do behind the scenes--parcels of new books +to unpack and acknowledge, supplementary catalogues to prepare--all +manner of preparations and improvements that took the two of us all our +time. Then my second mate, the minister, fell from Heaven--for he was +just our man. + +He had made a hobby of the literary evening in his Border parish; had +come out armed with a number of vivacious appreciations of his favourite +authors, the very thing for our Quiet Room. I handed it over to him +forthwith, and we embarked together upon a series of Quiet Room +Evenings, which I do believe were a joy to all concerned. At any rate we +always had an audience of forty or fifty enthusiasts, who took part in +the closing discussion, and in time might have been encouraged to put up +a better lecture than either of us. The minister, however, was very +good; and what he had cut out, in his unselfish pursuit of brevity, I +could sometimes put into a more ponderous performance at the end. It was +a greater chance than any that one got on Sunday evening; for though I +promise them there was never any previous idea of improving the +occasion, yet it was impossible to sit, pipe in mouth, chatting about +some great writer to that roomful of thinking, fighting men, and not to +touch great issues unawares. Life and death--wine and women--I almost +shudder to think what subjects were upon us before we knew where we +were! But a great, big, heavenly heart beat back at me, the composite +heart of fifty noblemen on easy terms with Death; and if they heard +anything worth remembering, it came from themselves as much as though +they had written the things down and handed them up to me to read out. I +have known an audience of young schoolboys as kindlingly responsive to a +man who loved them; but here were grown soldiers on the battle's brink; +and their high company, and their dear attention, what a pride and +privilege were they! + +If only it had been earlier in the season, not the very hush before the +hurricane! There were so many lives and works that we were going to +thresh out together--Francis Thompson's, for one. He had crept into our +evening with Edgar Allan Poe. I had promised them a long evening with +Francis; the stretcher-bearers, especially, were looking forward to it +as much as I was; but I had to send for the books, and they were not in +time. + +And on the last of these Quiet Room Evenings, a young lad in a Line +regiment had stayed behind and said: + +'May we have a lecture on Sir John Ruskin, sir?' + +I said of course they might--but I was not competent to deliver it +myself. His books were on the way, however, for there had been more than +one inquiry for them. They also arrived too late. + +I had never seen the boy before, nor did I again. I may this winter. He +shall have his 'lecture on Sir John Ruskin'--if I have to get it up +myself! + + +WRITERS AND READERS + +For my own ends I kept a kind of librarian's ledger, in which was +entered, under the author's name, every book that ever went out, +together with its successive dates of departure and return. This +amateurish scheme may not have been worth the labour it entailed, in +spare moments at the counter or last thing at night, after a turn-over +of perhaps a hundred volumes, many of which needed new labels before +retiring to the shelf. But I was never sorry I had let myself in for it. +Theoretically, one had only to look up a book in this ledger to tell +whether it was in or out; but in practice my reward was not then, but is +now, when I can see at a glance who really were our popular authors, and +which books of theirs were never without a partner, and which proved +wall-flowers. + +Statistics, however, are notoriously bad witnesses; and some of mine +would not stand cross-examination. Thus, take him for all in all, the +author of _The First Hundred Thousand_ may add the blue ribbon of the +Rest Hut to his collection; but then, we had practically all his books, +and some of them four or five deep. Nor was the one that had more +outings than anything of anybody's on our shelves on that account the +most popular; it may even have been the author's nearest approach to a +bad penny. On the other hand, our four copies of _The First Hundred +Thousand_ were out almost as long as we were open, and all four 'failed +to return.' As for its sequel, our only copy eloped with its first +partner: had all our authors been Ian Hays there would have been no +carrying on the library after the first hundred thousand seconds. + +The run on these two books was the more noteworthy in view of the +fighting reader's distaste for 'shop.' It was the flattering exception +to a very human rule; for I find, taking a good many days at random, +that while all but thirteen of every hundred issues were novels, less +than three of the thirteen were books about the war. Some forty-nine +readers out of fifty wanted something that would take them out of khaki, +and nearly nine out of ten pinned their faith to fiction. + +How many preferred a really good novel is another and a more invidious +matter; but nothing was more refreshing than the way the older masters +held their own. Dickens was in constant demand, especially among the +older men; and they really read him, judging by the days the immortal +works stayed out. Again, it was worth noting that here in France _A +Tale of Two Cities_ had twice as many readers as _Pickwick_, which came +next in order of popularity. Thackeray was not fully represented, but we +had all his best and they were always out. Of the Brontes we had next to +nothing, of Reade and Trollope far too little; but _It is Never too Late +to Mend_ enchanted a Sapper, a Machine Gunner, and a Red Cross man in +turn, while _Orley Farm_ would have headed our first day's list had it +been there in time. George Eliot was never without readers, but Miss +Braddon had more, and _The Woman in White_ only one! After Dickens, +however, the most popular Victorian was the first Lord Lytton. + +I confess it rejoiced my heart to hand out the protagonists of a +belittled age at least as freely as their 'opposite numbers' of the +present century. But I had my surprises. Scott (Sir Walter!) was a firm +wall-flower for the first fortnight; probably the Jocks knew him off by +heart; and, of course, the same thing may apply to their unnatural +neglect of the so-called Kaleyard School of other days. There was, at +any rate, nothing clannish about their reading. It was a Jock who took +_The Unspeakable Scot_ for its only airing; and more than three-fourths +of my Stevensonians were Sassenachs. But one could still conjure with +the name of Stevenson, as with many another made in his time. Mr. +Kipling's soldiers are adored by legions created in their image. Sir H. +Rider Haggard was never on the Rest House shelf. Messrs. Holmes and +Watson were the most flourishing of old firms, and Gerard the only +Brigadier taken seriously at my counter. Ruritania, too, got back some +of its own trippers from the Five Towns; for though you would have +thought there was adventure enough in the air we breathed, there was +more realism, and it was against the realism we all reacted. Mr. +Bennett, to be sure, did not occupy nearly enough space in our +capricious catalogue; neither, for that matter, did Mr. Weyman, Mr. +Galsworthy, Mr. Vachell, nor yet Miss Marie Corelli or Sir Thomas Hall +Caine. The fault was not mine, I can assure them. + +Mr. H. G. Wells, on the other hand, utilised a better chance by tying +with the author of _Arsene Lupin_, and just beating Mr. Phillips +Oppenheim, for a place it would be unprofitable to compute. Even they +could not live the pace of Mr. Charles Garvice, who in his turn +succumbed to the lady styled the Baroness Horsy by her fondest slaves; +to these two and to Miss Ethel Dell, among others I have or have not +presumed to mention, I could wish no greater joy than my job at that +counter when their books were coming in, and 'another by the same +author, if you've got one,' being urgently demanded in their place. The +most enthusiastic letter ever written for an autograph could not touch +the eager tone, the live eye, the parted lips of those unconscious +tributes. It is not the look you see in Mudie's as you wait your turn; +but I have seen it in small boys chasing pirates with 'Ballantyne the +Brave,' and in one old lady who fell in love every Sunday of her dear +life with the hero of _The Family Herald Supplement_. It was even better +worth seeing in a soldier with _Just a Girl_ in his ruthless hand, and +_The One Girl in the World_ trembling on a reverential tongue. The man +might have been performing prodigies of dreadful valour up the Line, but +his soul had been on leave with a lady in marble halls. + +There were two young Privates in the A.S.C. who bolted their Garvice at +about two days to the book; and two trim Corporals of the Rifle Brigade +who made as short work of the other magicians. This type of reader +always hunted in couples, sharing the most sympathetic of all the +passions, if not the books themselves, which would double the rate of +consumption. They were the hard drinkers at my bar; but the hardest of +all was a lean young Jock, who smiled as hungrily as Cassius, and +arrived punctually at six every evening to change his book. He looked +delicate, and was, I think, like other regular attendants, on light +duty in the town; in any case he took his bottle of fiction a day +without fail, and once, when it was raining, drained it under my nose +and wanted another. I refused to serve him. Unlike the other topers, he +was a sardonic critic. One night he banged the counter with a book in my +own old line, and the invidious comment: + +'He can do what _you_ no can!' + +I said I was sure, but inquired the special point of superiority. + +'He can kill his mon as often as he likes,' said McCassius, grimly, 'and +bring him to life again. Fufty times he has killed yon mon--fufty +times!' + +They were very nice to me about my books--but very honest! There was a +certain stretcher-bearer, a homely old fellow with a horse-shoe +moustache and mild brown eyes; not from the high-brow unit, but perhaps +a greater reader than any of them; and one of those who eschewed the +novel. _Scenes of Clerical Life_ (on top of Lenotre's _Incidents of the +French Revolution_, and our two little volumes of _Elia_) had been his +only dissipation until, our friendship ripening, he weighed me with his +tranquil eyes and asked for _Raffles_. I seemed to detect a streak of +filial piety in the departure, and gave him as fair warning as I could; +but only the book itself could put him off. He returned it without a +word to temper his forgiving smile, and took out _The Golden Treasury_ +as a restorative. Poetry he loved with all his gentle soul; but when, at +a later stage, he asked if I thought he could 'learn to write poetry,' +the wounds of vanity were at least anointed. + +He used to take down Mr. David Somervell's capital _Companion to the +Golden Treasury_ from the Poetry Shelf; and it was delightful to watch +his bent head wagging between text and note, a black-rimmed forefinger +creeping down either page, and his back as round as it could possibly +have been before the war. He told me he was a Northamptonshire shoemaker +by trade; and though you would trust him not to scamp a sole or bump a +stretcher, there was nothing to show that the war meant more to him than +his last, or life more than a chance of reading--the shadow lengthening +in the sunshine that he found in books. Once I said how I envied him all +that he had read; very gently--even for him--he answered that he owed it +all to his mother, who had taught him when he was so high, and would be +eighty-one come Tuesday. The man himself was only forty; but he was one +of those guileless creatures who make one unconsciously look up to them +as elders as well as betters. And at the front, where the old are so +gloriously young, and the young so pathetically old, nothing is easier +than to forget one's own age: often enough mine was brought home to me +with a salutary shock. + +'When I was up the Line,' said one of my friends, bubbling over with a +compliment, 'a chap said to me, "You know that old--that--that _elderly_ +man who runs the Rest Hut? He's the author of _Raffles_!"' + +Disastrous refinement! And the fellow grinned as though he had not +turned what might have been a term of friendship into one of pure +opprobrium. Elderly! One would as lief be labelled Virtuous or Discreet. + +Another of my poetry lovers did really write it--but not his own--there +was too much of a twinkle in _his_ brown eyes! They were twinkling +tremendously when I saw them first, fixed upon the Poetry Shelf, and the +tightest upper lip in the hut seemed to be keeping down a cheer. No +sooner had we spoken than he was saying he kept his own anthology in his +field pocket-book--and could I remember the third verse of 'Out of the +night that covers me'? Happily I could; and so made friends with a man +after my heart of hearts. + +In the first place, he spoke the adorable accent of my native heath or +thereabouts; and the things he said were as good as the way he said +them. Sense and sensibility, fun and feeling, candour and reserve, all +were there in perfect partnership, and his twinkling eyes lit each in +turn. Before the war he had been a postal telegraphist, and 'there +wasn't a greater pacifist alive'; now he was an R.E. signaller attached +to the Guards, and as for pacifism--the twinkle sharpened to a glitter +and his upper lip disappeared. + +Yet another man of forty, he had joined up early, and assigned any +credit to his wife--'good lass!' He was splendid about her and their +cheery life together; there was a happy marriage, if you like! 'Ever a +rover,' as he said romantically (but with the twinkle), he might be in a +post-office, but his heart was not; and it seemed the couple were one +spirit. Every summer they had taken their holiday tramping the moors, +their poets in their pack: 'when we were tired we would sit down and +read aloud.' No wonder the Poetry Shelf made him twinkle! There were two +cheery children, 'shaping' as you would expect; their dad borrowed my +_If_ to copy out for the small boy's birthday, as well as in his field +anthology. + +Loyalty to one's own, when so impassioned, is by way of draining the +plain man's stock: perfect home lives are not so common that the +ordinary middle-aged ratepayer makes haste to give up one for the wars. +But the anthologist had not been 'wrapped up' like the rest of us. His +loyalties did not even end at his country. That first afternoon, I +remember, he told me he had been 'a bit of a Theosophist.' + +'Aren't you one now?' + +'No; but I still have a warm corner in my heart for them.' + +I thought that very finely said of a creed outlived. Give me a warm +corner for an old love, be it man, woman, or sect! + +Daily he dropped in to read and chat; not to take out a book until his +turn came for the Line. It was just when the German push seemed imminent +to many, was indeed widely expected at a date when my friend would still +be at his dangerous post. He knew well what it might mean at any moment; +and I think he said, 'The wireless man must be the last to budge,' with +the smile he kept for the things he meant; but for once his eyes were +not doing their part. 'Well, thank God I've _had_ it!' he said of his +happy past as we locked hands. 'And nothing can take it away from you,' +I had the nerve to say; for these may be the comforts of one's own +heart, but it seems an insolence to offer them to a younger man with a +harder grip on life. Happily we understood each other. 'And many happy +chats had we,' he had written on the back of the photograph he left me. +He had also written his wife's address. _David Copperfield_ went with +him when we parted. I wondered if I should ever see either of them +again. + +Sure enough, on the predicted night, came the roll of drum-fire, as like +thunder as a noise can be; but it was our drum-fire, as it happened, and +down came my friend next day to tell me all about it. No-Man's Land had +been 'boiling like cocoa' under our shells; he was full of the set-back +administered to Jerry, of the fun of underground wireless and the genius +of Charles Dickens. I sent him back with _Joseph Vance_, and we talked +of nothing else at our next meeting. It was our last; but I treasure a +letter (telling of 'the ruined city of our friendship,' among other +things), and a field-card of more recent date; and have every hope that +the writer is still lighting up underground danger-posts with his wise +twinkle, and still adding to his field anthology. + +Yet another hard reader was a Coldstream Guardsman, a much younger man, +and one of the handsomest in the hut. He, too, if you will believe me, +had brown eyes--a thing that could not happen to three successive +characters in a novel--but of another order altogether. If they had +never killed a lady in their time, their molten glow belied them. This +young man liked a classic author of full flavour. _Tom Jones_ was +probably his favourite novel, but we had it not. De Maupassant would +have enchanted him--but not the coarse translations on vile paper--or +Rousseau's or Cellini's open secrets. As it was he had to put up with +Anatole France, and oddments of Swift and Wilde; nor do I forget his +justifiable disgust on discovering too late that our _Gulliver_ was a +nursery version. He was a delightful companion across the counter: +subtle, understanding, soft-spoken, in himself a romantic figure, yet +engagingly vulnerable to romance. + +'I'm feeling sentimental, Mr. Hornung. I want a love-story,' he sighed +one afternoon. I reminded him that he would also want Good Stuff, and +succeeded in meeting all his needs with _Ships that Pass in the Night_. + +Next day we had our Quiet Room Evening with Tom Hood; and that was the +time I strayed upon delicate ground by way of 'The Bridge of Sighs,' +from poem to subject before I knew where I was. The men took it +beautifully, and touched my heart by impulsively applauding the very +things I should have feared to say to them upon reflection. As for our +Coldstreamer, he came straight up to the counter and took out Jeremy +Taylor's _Holy Living and Dying_! + + +WAR AND THE MAN + +Not a day but some winning thing was said or done by one or other of +them. A man whom I hardly knew had been changing his book when he heard +me talking about green envelopes. + +'Do you want a green envelope?' he asked point-blank. + +'As a matter of fact, I do.' + +'Then I'll see if I can't get you one.' + +Now, the point about the 'green envelope' is the printed declaration on +the outside, that the contents 'refer to nothing but private and family +matters'; this being signed by the sender, your letter is censorable +only at the base, and will not be read by anybody with whom you are in +daily contact. There is, I believe, a weekly issue of one of these +envelopes per man. This I only remembered as the generous soul was +turning away. + +'Don't you go giving me anything you want yourself!' I called after him. + +He just looked over his shoulder. 'Then it wouldn't be much of a gift, +would it?' was all he said; but I shall never give a copper to a +crossing-sweeper without trying to forget his words. + +That man was a driver in the R.H.A., and beyond the fact that he had +just been reading _The White Company_ I know nothing about him. They +cropped up under every cap-badge, these crisp, articulate, enlightening +men; they had shaken off their marching feet the dust of every walk in +civil life, and it was only here and there a tenacious speck caught the +eye. I _have_ heard a Southern in Jock's clothing work in a word about +the season-ticket and the 'silk hat' of his City days; but as a rule a +soldier no more thinks of trading upon his civilian past than a small +boy at a Public School dreams of bragging about his people. More than in +any community on earth, the man at the front has to depend upon his own +personality, absolutely without any extraneous aid whatsoever; and the +knowledge that he has to do so is a tremendous sharpener of +individuality. + +Yet your arrant individualist is the last to see it. I remember +recommending _The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft_ to a young man full +of brains and sensibility--one of that Field Ambulance to which, as we +saw it, the description applies in bulk. He came back enthusiastic, as I +knew he would, and we discussed the book. I quarrelled with the passage +in which Gissing rails at the weekly drill in his school playground: +'even after forty years' the memory brought on a 'tremor of passionate +misery.... The loss of individuality seemed to me sheer disgrace.' My +Red Cross friend applauded the sentiments that I deplored; himself as +individual as a man need be, he assured me that the Army _did_ crush the +individuality out of a man; and when, refraining from the _argumentum ad +hominem_, I called his attention to many others present who showed no +sign of such subdual, he said at any rate it happened to the weaker men. + +It may: and if a man has no personality of his own, will he be so much +the worse for the composite substitute to be acquired in the Army? +Better an efficient machine than a mere nonentity; but an efficient +machine may be many things besides, and, under the British system, +nearly always is. The truth is that discipline and restriction do not +'crush' the normal personality in the least. They compress it; and +compression is strength. They prevent a man from 'slopping over'; they +conserve his essence. They may not 'make a man' of one who is a man +already, but they do exalt and intensify the quality of manhood; they do +make a good man in that sense better, and a goodish man out of many a +one who has been accounted 'no good' all his life. + +Often when the hut was full of magnificent young life; bodies at their +very best, perfect instruments in perfect tune; minds inquisitive, +receptive, experienced beyond the dreams of pre-war philosophy, and +honest as minds must be on the brink of Beyond; often and often have I +looked down the hut and compared the splendid fellows I saw before me +with the peace-time types perceptibly represented by so many. Small +tradesmen, clerks, shop assistants, grooms and gardeners, labourers in +every overcrowded field, what they were losing in the softer influences +of life, that one might guess, but what they were gaining all the time, +in mind, body, and character, that one could see. It did not lessen the +heart-break of the thought that perhaps half would never see their homes +again; but it did console with the conviction that the half who survived +would be twice the men they ever would or could have been without the +war. Nay, they were twice their old selves already, if I am any judge of +a man who talks to me. I only know I never foregathered with a couple of +them without feeling that we were all three the harder and yet the +tenderer men for our humble sacrifices, our aching hearts and our +precarious lives. I never looked thoughtfully upon a body of these +younger brothers without thinking of the race to spring from loins so +tried in such a fire. Never--if only because it was the first comfort +that came to mind. + +But it was not the only one. Here before my eyes, day after day, were +scores of young men not only 'in the pink,' but in better 'form' than +perhaps they themselves suspected; not only intensely alive but +manifestly enjoying life, the corporate life of constant comradeship and +a common if sub-conscious excitement, to an extent impossible for them +to appreciate at the time. They put me in mind of a man I know who +volunteered for South Africa in his athletic youth, and has ever since +been celebrated among his friends for the remark of a lifetime. Somebody +had asked him how he liked the Army. 'The Army?' cried this young +patriot. '_Once a soldier, always a civilian!_' None the less, he was +one of those I met in France, a Major in the A.S.C., which he had joined +(under a false age) at the beginning of the war. And how many, now the +first to adopt his watchword, would not jump at the chance to emulate +his deed in another fifteen unadventurous years! + +Many, we are told, will anticipate the inconceivable by making their own +adventures, if not their own war on society, such are the brutalising +effects of war! In this proposition there is probably as much as a grain +of truth to a sandhill of imbecility; but we shall hear of that grain on +all sides; the soldier-criminal will be only too certain of a copious +press, the bombing burglar of his headline. The people we are not going +to hear about, and have no desire to recognise as such, are the rascals +reformed, the weak men strengthened, the prodigals born again in this +war, and at least less likely to die a second death-in-life. With all my +heart I believe that, with few exceptions, the only characters which +will have suffered by the war are those of such youngish men as have +managed to stand out of it to the end, and men of all ages and all +conditions who have failed throughout to put their personal +considerations in their pockets, and left it to other men and other +men's sons to die or bleed for them. I hope they are not more numerous +than the men who have been 'brutalised' by war. At all events there were +no successful shirkers about our huts in France; and that may have made +the atmosphere what it was. All might not have the heart for war; here +and there some sapient head might wag aloof; but at least all had their +lives and bodies in the cause, there were no safe skins, no cold +detachment, no complacent lookers-on. It was an atmosphere of manhood +the more potent for the plain fact that no man regarded himself as such +in any marked degree, or for one moment in the light of a hero. + +That is all I have to say about their heroism. It is an absolute, like +the beauty of Venus or the goodness of God. Daily and hourly they are +rising to heights that keep all the world always wondering--when, +indeed, it does not kill the power of wonderment. But their dead level, +the level on which I saw them every day, lies high enough for me. It is +not only what discipline has done for them, not only what the habit of +sacrifice has made of them, that appeals and must appeal to the older +man privileged to mix with soldiers at the front. It is also the +wonderful quality of his fellow-countrymen as revealed in these +tremendous years. That was there all the time, but it took the war to +show it up, it took the war to make us see it. I might have known that +rough poor lads were reading Ruskin and Carlyle, that a Northamptonshire +shoemaker was as likely as anybody else to be steeped in Charles Lamb, +or a telegraph-clerk and his wife to tramp the Yorkshire dales with +Wordsworth and Keats about their persons. Yet I, for one, more shame for +me! would never have imagined such men if the God of battles had not put +me to school in my Rest Hut for one short half-term. + +Neither could I have invented, at my best or worst, a young City clerk +who played the piano divinely by the hour together, or a very shy young +man, a chemist's assistant from the most unhallowed suburb, for whom I +had to order Beethoven and Chopin, Liszt and Brahms and Schumann, +because _he_ could play even better, but not from memory. Those two lads +were the joy of the hut, of hundreds who frequented it. And how much joy +had they given in their lodgings or behind the shop? Who had ever been +prouder of them than their comrades, or done so much to 'bring them +out'? Yet, need I say it? they both belonged to that clever, +intellectual, fascinating Field Ambulance to which the Rest Hut owed so +much; and I shouldn't wonder if they both agreed with that other nice +fellow, their thoroughly individual comrade who declared that 'the Army +crushes the individuality out of a man!' + + + + +'WE FALL TO RISE' + +(_March-April, 1918_) + + +BEFORE THE STORM + +That dramatic month would have been memorable for the weather if for +nothing else. Day after day 'the March sun felt like May,' if ever it +did; and though it dried no hawthorn-spray in the broken heart of our +little old town, and there was neither blade nor petal to watch +a-blowing and a-growing, yet Spring was in our nostrils and we savoured +it the more eagerly for all we knew it must bring forth. Then the +overshadowing ruins took on glorious hues in the keen sunlight, +especially towards evening; the outer grey so warm and soft, like a +mouse's fur; the inner lining, of aged brick, an even softer tone of its +own, neither red nor pink. Day after day a clean sky threw the jagged +peaks into violent relief, and high lights snowed their Matterhorn, +until a sidelong sunset picked the whole chain out with shadows like +falls of ink. It was a sin to spend those afternoons indoors, even in +the Rest Hut, where the two stoves stood idle for days on end, and all +the windows open. + +Then there were the still and starry nights. Then there were the +moonlight nights, not so still, but nothing very dreadful happening our +way. Our big local gun might have gone on tour; at least I seem to +remember many a night when it did not shake us in our beds, when indeed +there was little but the want of sheets and pillow-cases to remind us +that we were not in England, where after all one can hear more guns than +are noticed any longer, and an aeroplane at any hour of the twenty-four. +Many a night there was no more than that to remind us that we were only +just behind the Line. + +Sometimes, as the two of us sat last thing over a nice open fireplace +that had found its way into my room from one of the skeleton houses on +the opposite side of the square, one or other would fall to moralising +upon the past life of the place we had made so much our own. It was a +dutiful effort to remember that the Hotel de Ville had not always been a +mangled pile, its palisaded courtyard once something other than the site +of a Y.M.C.A. hut. But the reflection failed to haunt us as it might +have done; the present and the living were too absorbing, to say nothing +of the imminent future; and as for the dead past, we had our own. And +yet we knew from guide-book and album what shining pools of parquet, +what ceilings heavily ornate, what monumental intricacies in wood and +stone, what crystal grandiosities, formed the huge rubbish-heaps between +the mouse-grey walls with the reddish lining: we knew, but it was no use +trying to care. The Hotel de Ville had finished its course; the Rest Hut +was just getting into its stride. Another chunk off the stump of the +once delicate and dizzy belfry, what did it signify unless the chunk +came through our roof? That was our only anxiety in the matter, and we +debated whether such a chunk would fly so far, or fall straight down as +apparently the rest of the campanile had done before it. My chief mate, +however, wound up every debate with the reiterated conviction that there +would be no German push at all; they were 'not such fools' as to make +one. But for my part I never went to bed without wondering whether that +would be the last of our quiet nights, or a quiet night at all. And +deadly quiet they had grown; even the rats no longer disturbed us; every +one of them had departed, and for no adequate reason within our +knowledge. Even the sceptic of a mate had something trite but sinister +to say about 'a sinking ship.' ... + +One afternoon, two days before the date on which most people seemed to +expect things to happen, a harbinger arrived as I sat perched behind +the counter. We were not long open; most of the men present were +clustered round the newspaper table; you really could have heard some +pins drop. That was why, for a second or two, I did hear something I had +never heard before, and have no wish to hear again. It sounded exactly +like a miniature aeroplane approaching at phenomenal speed. I was just +beginning to wonder what it was when there followed the most +extraordinary crash. Not an explosion; not a breakage; but the loud flat +smack a dining-table might make if you hauled it up to a ceiling by its +castors and let it fall perfectly evenly upon a bare floor. It was the +roof, however, that had been hit. + +We went out to look, and one of the men picked up a fragment of shell, +only about three inches long and less than an inch wide. That was my +table-top. The jagged edge of it glittered as though incrusted with tiny +brilliants; but the fragment was quite cold, showing that it had +travelled far since the burst. 'One of our Archies,' said most of the +men; but the Rest Hut orderly, who wore a Gunner badge said laconically: +'Fritz--range-finding!' He was borne out by a High Commander who +honoured me with a visit some days later. I believe it was the first bit +of German stuff that had found its way into the middle of the town +since the previous November; and a very interesting and effective little +entry it made, in the quietest hour of one of those uncannily quiet +days, and in the precincts of what we flattered ourselves was the +quietest hut on any front. But the funny (and rather disappointing) +thing was that it had failed to leave so much as its mark upon our roof. +It must have skimmed the apex and glanced off the downward slope--convex +side down--as a stone glances off a pond. 'The little less,' and it +would have drilled the reverse slope like a piece of paper. I have often +thought of that cluster of forage caps, under the silky skylights, round +the central table; but what I shall always hear, plainer than the +terrific smack that left no mark, is that first little singing whirr as +of a dwarf propeller of gigantic power. I think that must be the most +sickening sound of all under heavy shell-fire in the open. + +Next day was the eve of the expected attack, which did not in point of +fact take place for another week and more; but how widespread was the +expectation we learnt for ourselves by our own small signs and portents. +A dozen francs were refunded on a dozen books whose borrowers were +afraid they would have no more time just then to read another; but when +it all blew over for that week, back they came with their deposits, and +out went more books than ever. The mate was jubilant. Of course there +had been no German attack; and never would be; they were not such fools! +Nor was he by any means alone in his opinion; many officers--but enough! +We were not, to be sure, by way of meeting many officers. And yet +Wednesday, March 20th, brought two to my room whose respective +deliverances are worth remembering in the light of subsequent events. + +One was the Gunner who had given me steak and onions on our All +Uppingham day in the dark depths of the earth. He was as cheery as if he +had been making another century in the Old Boys' Match, instead of +having just gone on with his heavies on a new pitch altogether. It was +going to suit him. He felt like getting wickets. And the Pavilion was +not a dug-out this time; it was an elephant, in which the Major and he +could put me up any night I liked. Why not that night? He had come in a +car; he could take me back with him. + +Why not, I sometimes wonder to this day! There were good, there were +even creditable, reasons; but, beyond the fact that I was now much +attached to my counter, I honestly forget what they were. I only know +that my hospitable friend's new wicket was one of the first to be +overrun by a field-grey mob; and though the Major and he are still +enjoying rude health on the right side of the Line, and it goes without +saying that they left the ground with becoming dignity, I am afraid I +should have been out of place in the procession. Exciting moments I must +have had, but I should have been sorry to play Anchises to my friend's +AEneas. And I was to have my little moments as it was. + +My other visitor was, curiously, another cricketer, whom I had first +seen bowling in the University match at Lord's. It is not his department +of the greater game; nor do I intend to compromise this officer by means +of any further clue; for he it was who informed me that the push was +really coming before morning. 'So they say,' he smiled, and we passed on +to matters of more immediate interest. Time enough to be interested in +the push when it did come; from all reports I was likely to find myself +in the stalls, and he of course would be on the stage. So that was that. +In the meantime I had a great fixture arranged and billed for the +Saturday evening. An old friend was coming over from the Press Chateau +to lecture in the Rest Hut, for the first time on any platform; there +were to be seats for all our other friends, officers and men, and some +supper in my room for half-a-dozen of us and the lecturer. It was of +this we talked, and probably of pre-war cricket, and my beloved men, +over the last quiet tea I was to have there. Books went out very freely +till we closed. _With Our Faces to the Light_, _Heroes and +Hero-Worship_, _The Supreme Test_, and _Our Life after Death_, were +among the last half-dozen titles! + + +ANOTHER OPENING DAY + +... It did not wake me up till four or five in the morning. Then I knew +it had begun. The row was incessant rather than tremendous; not nearer +than it had often been, when that big local gun was at home, but +indubitably different. Some supplementary sound followed most of the +reports, as the receding swish of a shattered breaker follows the first +crash. I guessed what it was, but I wanted to be sure. I wanted to ask +the mate, on the other side of the partition behind my head; but I +didn't want to wake him up on purpose. The only unnerved man I met in +France, one of our workers whose railway-carriage had been blown in by a +bomb on the last stage of his journey from the coast, had awakened the +man in the next bed for company's sake the night after. He was brave +enough to own it. _I_ wanted company, but I had not the hardihood to +sing out for it until I heard a movement through the partition. + +The mate, of course, did not believe it was the push; but he confessed +it sounded the sort of thing one would expect to hear if the Germans +were fools enough to make a push. It sounded like rather distant +thunder, with sporadic claps in the middle distance. I smoked a pipe +with my _Spectator_ before trying for some more sleep, and was just +dropping off when our orderly arrived with jaunty tread. + +'It's Fritz,' said he, with sardonic unconcern. 'You can hear the houses +coming down.' + +And there followed the tale of damage done so far. + +I am afraid we were both up with the wind, if not with the sun. But we +shaved without bloodshed; for it is remarkable how a shell-burst can +fail to jog your elbow, or to spill your tea, when you have been +educated up to that type of disturbance. We had grown so used to guns in +the night that the quiet nights were the uncanny ones; and even they +were generally punctuated first or last by a comfortable bang from the +local heavy; the 'All's Well!' of that night-watchman, which, if it woke +us up, only encouraged us to go to sleep again with an increased sense +of security. A shell-burst at a decent distance sounded much the same +for the first--and only startling--second. And all that morning, and +generally throughout the day, they kept their distance with quite +unexpected decency. + +But they did sing over our heads; they did keep the blue above us vocal +with their shrill, whining cries; it was astounding to look up into the +unruffled heavens and see no trace of their course. As one gazed, the +crash came in the streets a few hundred yards away; and often after the +crash, by an interval of seconds, a noise as of some huge cart shooting +its rubbish. Somebody said it was like a great lash whistling over us +and cracking amid the herd of living houses just beyond. It really was; +and what followed was the groan as yet another piece was taken out of +the palpitating town. + +Two things came home to us while the day was young. It was biggish stuff +that was coming in, at a longish range; and it was coming in on +business, not on pleasure. Its business was to feel for barracks, +batteries, and other sound investments for valuable munitions; not to +have a sporting flutter here, there, and everywhere; much less to +indulge in the sheer luxury of pestling a ruined area to powder. If or +when they made some ground, and brought up their field-guns, it would be +a different matter; then it might pay them to keep us skipping in all +parts of the town at once; but, for the present, we in our part were in +quite ignoble security--unless Fritz lost his strength! We had, however, +to remember that we were in a straight line between wicket and wicket; +nor did his singing deliveries give us much chance of forgetting the +fact. + +News was not long in reaching us from less fortunate localities. The +station was catching it; and we had a busy hut all but adjoining the +station. We looked upon our comrades at the Station Hut with mingled +envy and commiseration, when one or two of them dropped in to recount +their adventures and escapes. A short-pitched one had killed four +officers in the street in their direction. And it so happened that +business took me to the spot during the course of the morning. + +It would be idle to pretend it was an enjoyable expedition. A friend +went with me; we wore our shrapnel helmets, and everybody we met was +wearing his. That alone gave the streets an altered appearance; +otherwise everything wore its normal aspect; the March sun was more like +May than ever, the sky more innocently blue, the cool light hand of +spring softer and more caressing. On the way we met two chaplains of the +Guards, who gave us details of the tragedy; on its scene we saw clean +wounds on the stone facing of a house, the chipped places standing out +in the strong sunlight, but did not investigate too closely. Two of the +officers had been standing in the doorway, two crossing the open space +we skirted; two had been killed outright, and two were dying or dead of +their wounds. Shells whistled continuously as we walked, but not one +burst before our eyes. + +On my return the mate and I had a look at a dungeon under the Town Hall, +as a possible sleeping-place. It was part of an underground system for +which the town was famous. One could walk for miles, from chamber to +chamber, as one can crawl from cell to cell in the foundations of most +big houses. We had long talked of going to ground there, with all our +books, in the day of battle; and now we viewed provisional sites, though +only one of us allowed that the day had dawned. + +'This is not the push,' I was stoutly assured. 'This is only a feint, +man. They are not such fools ...' + +After lunch we opened to the bang and whistle of our own guns, for a +change. The sacred mid-day meal was never followed up by enemy gun-fire +in my hearing; the time-table obviously included a methodical siesta, +which it was our daily delight to spoil. Not that my Rest Hut crowd +betrayed much pleasure in the proceedings; for once, indeed, I could not +help thinking them rather a stolid lot. There they sat as usual under +the sunny skylights, dredging the day's news as though it were the one +uninteresting thing in the hut, or playing dominoes and draughts, like a +nurseryful of unnaturally good children. It is difficult to describe +their demeanour. To say that they looked as though nothing was +happening is to imply a studied unconcern; and there was certainly +nothing studied on their side of the counter; on ours, it seemed as if +the Rest Hut had only needed this external din to make it really +restful. + +'Our friend Jerry's a bit saucy this morning,' said the emissary of a +sick Sergeant who sent for a fresh Maurice Hewlett every day that week. +It was the first comment of the afternoon on the day's events. 'Our +friend Jerry' had risen from his siesta and was giving us whistle and +bang for our bang and whistle; and still every shot sounded plumb over +the hut. It was like the middle of a tennis-court during a hard rally; +but I never heard anybody suggest that either side might hit into the +net. + +Then, I remember, came a new-comer, a husky lad with a poisoned wrist. + +'Gimme one o' them books.' + +I had my formula in such cases. + +'Who is your favourite author?' + +'Don't know as I have one; gimme any good yarn.' + +'What's the best yarn you ever read?' + +'I don't often read one.' + +'The last you did read?' + +Lost in the mists. I set _The Hound of the Baskervilles_ on him, and +saw him well bitten by the book before the afternoon was out or the +bombardment by way of abating. There was no tea-interval on the other +side, that I remember; but we had ours as usual in my room, and it was +either that afternoon or the next that an eminent Oxford professor, out +on a lecturing tour, gave us his company. He was delightfully interested +in the library, and spent most of the afternoon behind the counter, +making out a list of books he talked of sending us, chatting with the +men, and endearing himself to us all. I daresay he was the oldest man +who had ever entered the hut; but I still see him perched on top of our +little home-made step-ladder, in overcoat and muffler and soft felt hat, +while the shells burst nearer, or at any rate made more noise, as the +day drew in. Book in hand, and a kindly, interested, quizzical smile +upon his face, the professor looked either as though he never heard one +of them, or as though he had heard little else all his life. He cheered +one more than the cheeriest soldier, for his was not the insensibility +of usage, but the selfless preoccupation of a lofty soul. + +Earlier in the week I had accepted an invitation to dine that evening +with a mess at the other end of the town. It was quite the wrong end for +dinner at such a time; it was the end where the German shells were +feeling about for things worth smashing. They kept skimming across the +streets as I found my way through the dusk, and ours came skimming back; +it was the tennis-court again, but this time one seemed to be crossing +it on gigantic stilts, head and shoulders above the chimney-pots. But +nothing happened. It was a seasoned mess, all padres and doctors, to the +best of my recollection; and they gave one a confidence more welcome +than all their conscious hospitality. I enjoy my evening immensely--as I +look back. + +There was a window at each end of the dinner-table. No sooner were we +seated than there occurred outside one of these windows about the +loudest explosion I ever heard. No chair was pushed back, and I am bound +to say that was the end of it; they said it was further off than I can +yet believe. They also seemed to think it was a bomb. There I trusted +they were right. Bombs cannot go on falling on or even about the same +place. But in fifteen minutes to the tick we had the same thing outside +the other window. This time the glass came tinkling down, and it was +thought worth while to inquire whether there were any casualties in the +kitchen. There were none: no doubt some chair _would_ have been pushed +back if the answer had been in the affirmative. + +And that was all, except a great deal of shell-talk, and comparison of +hair-breadth escapes, between my two hosts (both of whom had borne +charmed lives--but who has not, out there?) when the rest were gone, and +a shower of stuff in the soft soil of the garden as I was going myself. +Perhaps 'shower' is too strong a word; but one of the many things I can +still hear is the whizz and burial of at least one lethal fragment close +beside us in the dark. The kind pair insisted on walking back with me, +and were strong in their advice to me to seek a cellar for the night. +This being their own intention, and the idea that I found in the mind of +my mate on regaining the Rest Hut, he and I spent the next hour in +transferring our beds and bedding to the dungeon aforesaid, where I for +one slept all the better for the soothing croon of shells high overhead +in waking intervals. + +It was officially computed that over eight hundred large shells arrived +in our little town that day, the historic 21st March, 1918. + + +THE END OF A BEGINNING + +Two capital nights we passed in our ideal dungeon. It was deep yet dry, +miraculously free from rats, and so very heavily vaulted, so tucked away +under tons of debris, and yet so protected by the standing ruins, that +it was really difficult to imagine the projectile that could join the +party. There was, to be sure, a precipitous spiral staircase to the +upper air, but even it did not descend straight into our lair. Still, a +direct hit on the stairs would have been unpleasant; but one ran as much +risk of a direct hit by lightning in peace-time. It seems indecent to +gloat over a safety verging on the ignoble at such a time; but those two +nights it was hard to help it; and the dim morning light upon the warm +brick arches, bent like old shoulders under centuries of romance, added +an appeal not altogether to the shrinking flesh. + +The day between had been very like the first day. I thought the +bombardment a shade less violent; but worse news was always coming in. +Far fewer books were taken out, far fewer men had their afternoon to +themselves, but only too many were their tales of bloodshed, especially +on the outskirts of the town. They told them simply, stoically, even +with the smile that became men whose turn it might be next; but the +smile stopped short at the lips. Still worse hearing was the fall of +village after village in sectors all too near our own; and yet more +sinister rumours came from the far south. Our greatest anxieties were +naturally nearest home, and our chief comfort the unruffled faces of +such officers as passed our way. 'He seems to be meeting with some +success, too!' as one vouchsafed from his saddle, after an opening in +the style of the gentleman who was still demanding Hewletts for his +Sergeant. + +The second night we had a third cellarman, leader of one of the outlying +huts now being abandoned every day. Almost hourly our headquarters were +filling up with refugee workers flushed with their sad adventures; but +this young fellow had been through more than most; a man had been killed +in his hut, and he himself was in the last stages of exhaustion. He had +been fast asleep when we descended from the turmoil for our night of +peace; and fast asleep I left him in the morning, little thinking that +most of us had spent our last night in the neighbourhood. + +It was another of those brilliant days we shall remember every March +that we may live to see. The devil's choristers were still singing +through the blue above, still thundering their own applause in the +doomed quarter of the town. Yet to stand blinking in the keen sunlight, +snuffing the pure invigorating air, was to vote the whole thing weak and +unconvincing. The picturesque ruins were not real ruins. The noises were +not the noises of a real bombardment; they were too simple and too +innocuous, one had heard them better done upon the stage. It seemed +particularly impossible that anything could happen to me, for instance, +at the head of my cellar stairs, or to the very immaculate Jocks' Padre +picking his way towards me, over a mound of last year's ruins, to us as +old as any other hill. + +But it was that Padre who struck the sinister note at once. What were we +going to do? Do! His meaning was not clear to me; he made it clear +without delay. His Jocks--_our_ Jocks--the rocks of my military +faith!--had gone away back. Divisional Headquarters, at all events, had +shifted out of that; it was the same with the other Divisions in the +Corps, the Padre thought; and he took it we should all be ordered back +if we didn't go! A place with a ridge had been taken by the enemy, who +had only to get his field-guns up--and that was only a question of +hours--to make the town a great deal unhealthier than it was already. + +I was horrified. It was the one thing I had never contemplated, being +turned out of the little old town! After all, it had been an +unhealthier spot a year ago than it yet threatened to become again. A +year ago the very Line had curled through its narrow rim of suburbs; and +yet the troops had stuck to the town; there had been cellarage for all, +barricades in streets swept by machine-guns, and a Y.M.C.A. hut run by a +valiant veteran through thick and thin. One or two of us, at least, had +been prepared for the same thing over again, _plus_ our Rest Cave and +all our books at a safe depth underground. That prospect had thrilled +and fascinated; the one now foreshadowed seemed too black to come true. + +But at breakfast we had it officially from the mere boy (from a Public +School, however) in local charge of the lot of us. We had better get +packed; it would be safer; but he hoped, perhaps more heartily than any +of us, that the extremity in view would not arise. So we pulled out +kit-bags and suit-cases of which we had forgotten the sight--and my +jolly little room never looked itself again. No room does, once you +start packing the belongings that made it what it was; but I never hated +that hateful job so much in all my life. Nor did I ever do it +worse--which is saying even more. Two days and nights under continuous +shell-fire, even when it is only the music of those spheres that he +hears incessantly, does find a man out in one way or another. My way +was forgetfulness and, I fear, a certain irritability. There are some of +my most cherished little possessions that I shall never see again, and a +good friend or so with whom I fear I was a trifle gruff. I hope they +have forgiven me. But a shell-burst may be easier to bear than a +pointless question, especially when you are asking one or two yourself. + +At lunch-time the A.P.M. sent in for me. I found him outside in the sun, +with the D.A.A. and Q.M.G., I think it was--both of them very grave and +business-like in their shrapnel helmets, their gas-masks hooked up under +their chins. They, too, wanted to know what we proposed to do; they, +too, explained exactly why the town would presently become no place for +any of us. But it was not for me to speak for the other workers, who by +this time were most of them on the spot; we were all as sheep in the +absence of our Public School shepherd, who had gone off in the Ford to +seek instructions at Area Headquarters. Some of them, indeed, took the +opportunity of speaking for themselves; and who had a better right? It +may be only my impression that we all had a good deal to say at the same +time: I know I voiced my dream about the Rest Cave. The official faces +were not encouraging; indeed, they put their discouragement in words +open to an ominous construction. They did not say Janiculum was lost, +but they left us perhaps deservedly uneasy on the point. + +And it was all idiotically, if not shamefully, exasperating! Those heavy +shells still raining into the town; untold pain and damage ensuing every +minute; the town-crier with his bell even then upon his rounds, warning +civilians to evacuate; little parties of them already under way, here a +toothless old lady in her Sunday weeds, a dignified old gentleman +pushing a superannuated perambulator full of household gods, a prancing +terrier loving the sad excitement of it all; and a man old enough to +know better thinking only of his makeshift hut, hardly at all about +their lifelong homes compulsorily abandoned in their poor old age, yet +with a step so proud and so unfaltering! The perambulator, perhaps, was +now a nobler and a sadder treasure than any it contained. But just then +the hut was home and treasure-house to me; filled day by day with hearts +of gold and souls of iron; and now what would become of it and them! + +For the first time since the first day of all, nobody was there when we +opened; but presently a handful drifted in, as unconcerned as the +terrier in the road, but without a symptom of the dog's ingenuous +excitement. What was it to them if the day was big with all our fates! +It would not be their first big day; but it was not their day at all +just yet, whatever it might be to us. To them it was still a May day +come in March, the air was still charged with the fulness of life, and +the hut with all that they had found in it hitherto. It was only to us, +in our narrow, keen experience, that everything was spoilt, or spoiling +before our eyes. + +'It's too good a day to waste in war,' said one of them across an idle +counter. + +It was not his first utterance recorded in these notes; and there seemed +a touch of affectation about it. But he was one of the clever lot I +liked, and what I thought his self-consciousness only drew us closer; +for I defy you to live under shell-fire, for the first time, without +thinking of yourself, and what the next moment may mean to you--and what +the moment after--at the back of your mind. It is another thing when +your hands are full. But the peculiar traffic at our counter had +dwindled steadily during the bombardment. And it had lost even more in +character than in bulk. Impossible, at least for me, to keep up the +tacit pretence that a book was more important than a battle; it had +taken our visitor from Oxford (whom I suspect of an eager assent to the +proposition) to turn a really deaf ear to the song and crash of high +explosive. Mine was hardened, but it heard everything; my mind employed +itself on each report; and for the last two days the men and I had been +talking War. + +But to this young man I talked about his friends whom I might never see +again. He had brought back a bundle of their books, and in their names +he thanked me for my 'kindness' to them: as if it were all on one side! +As if they had not, all of them, done more for me than I for them! They +were doing things up to the end; bringing back their books, at their +plain inconvenience, on their way to the forefront of the fight; even +bringing me, to the eleventh hour, their little offerings of books, the +last tokens of their good-will. + +It was hard to tell them we were closing down, it might be only for a +day or two; harder still to say what one felt without striking an +unhelpful note; and I took no risks. We could only refuse their money +all the afternoon, entertain them as best we could, and pack them off +with a hand-grip and 'Good luck!' + +There was trouble, too, behind the scenes. Our dear old Madame was one +of those for whom the town-crier had rung a knell; by half-past three +she must be out of house, home, and native place. But it was not the +shipwreck of her simple life that brought the poor soul in tears to the +hut. All the world knows how the homely French take the personal +tragedies of war, with the national shrug and a dry eye for their share +of the national burden; and Madame was French to her finger-tips. She +was therefore an artist, who put her hand to nothing she was not minded +to finish as creditably as the good God would let her. Think, then, of +her innocent shame at having to deliver our week's laundry wringing wet +from the mangle! It was the last mortification; and all our +protestations were powerless to assuage the sting to her sensibilities. +As for her helpmate, our orderly, for all his capabilities he had never +replaced the two heroes of the other hut in my affections; and at this +juncture he had managed to get a little drunk. But from information +since received one can only wonder it did not happen oftener; for the +man had tragedy in his life, and his story would be the most dramatic in +these pages had I the heart to tell it. By us he had done more than his +duty, and for the hut almost as much as Madame herself. The last sight +of each was saddening, and yet a part of the closing scenes, as the pair +had been part of our lives. + +By half-past five the Y.M.C.A. men had their orders: all to evacuate +except four of the youngest or strongest, who might stay for the present +to help with the walking wounded. Only too naturally, the Rest Hut was +not represented among the chosen. But permission was given us to remain +open another hour; and there were perhaps a dozen readers under the +still sunny skylights to the end. It went hardest of all to tell them +they would have to go. Two or three looked up from the papers to ask in +dismay about their lecture. I had forgotten there was to have been a +lecture; but here were these children waiting to take their places for +the promised treat, and more came later. Nothing all day had illustrated +quite so graphically the difference between their point of view and +ours; to them bursting shells, falling houses, and emptying town were +all in the day's work. They had to carry on just the same; it was more +than distasteful to be obliged to point out that we could not. The +lecturer, I said, if he was still alive, would be in the thick of things +by this time. That went home; he is the man they all read, the man who +has sung the praises of the private soldier with an understanding +enthusiasm unsurpassed by any war correspondent in any war. A week +earlier the hut would have been full to bursting; it shall burst if they +like one night this winter--all being better than that Saturday in +March--and a war still on! + +A regular patron of our Quiet Room Evenings, an oldish man with a fine +scorn stamped upon his hard-bitten face, said one or two things I +valued the more as coming from him, though I doubt if we had exchanged a +dozen words before. I shook his hand, and all their hands, as they went +out. They were pleased with us for having kept open a day longer than +any of the other huts. I hope I said the other huts had been closed by +order; but I only remember wanting to say a great deal more, and +thinking better of it. After all, we had understood each other in that +hut to a degree beyond the need of heavy speeches. + + +THE ROAD BACK + +There was a strange lull in the firing, and no meal-time to account for +it, as I carried the baggage over piecemeal to our headquarters off the +opposite end of the little square. The mate was doubtless busy relieving +me of my final responsibilities in the matter of stores or accounts; at +any rate I remember those two or three halting journeys with his light +and my heavy kit. The sun was setting in a slight haze, as though the +air were full of gold-dust. The shadows of the crippled houses lay at +full length in the square. The big guns were strangely still; their +field-guns were taking them a good long time to mount upon the captured +ridge. I made my final trip, turned in under the arch at headquarters, +where the little Ford 'bus was waiting for the last of us, and +incidentally for my last and lightest load. I had not put it in when +those infernal field-guns got going. + +I do not know what happened in other parts of the town. It seems +unlikely that they opened fire on our part in particular, but as I stood +talking in a glass passage there came a whirlwind whizz over the low +roofs, a crack and a cloud in the adjoining courtyard, and, as I turned +back under the arch, another whizz and another bang in the street I had +just quitted. So I would have sworn in perfect faith; and for several +minutes the street was full of acrid smoke, to bear me out. But it seems +the second burst was _in_ the next house, or in the next but one. All I +can say is that both occurred within about fifteen paces of the spot +where I stood as safe as the house that covered me. And yet the soldiers +tell you they prefer shell-fire in the open! With great respect, I shall +stick up for the devil I know. + +But what has interested me ever since is the hopelessness of expecting +two persons to give anything like the same account of a violent +experience which has taken them both equally by surprise. Nor is it +necessary to go gadding about the front in order to test this particular +proposition; try any couple who have been in the same motor accident. It +must be done at once, before they have time to compare notes; indeed, +they should be kept apart like suspect witnesses in a court. Suspicion +will be amply vindicated in nine cases out of ten; for the impression of +any accident upon any mind depends on the state of that mind at the +time, on the impressions already there, and on its imaginative quality +at any time. Hence the totally different versions of the same event +from three or four equally truthful persons. A boy I had known all his +life was killed just before I went out: three honest witnesses gave +three contradictory descriptions of the tragedy. Two of the three were +all but eye-witnesses, and C. of E. chaplains at that! No wonder we +argued about our beggarly brace of shells. The chief mate (last to leave +the ship, by the way) heard three, and a fourth as we drove away in the +Ford. My powers of registration were only equal to the two described. + +It was good to be high and dry in the little 'bus, though it would have +been better with as much as the horn to blow to keep one's mind out of +mischief. Our driver was a fine man wearing the South African and 1914 +ribbons. Invalided out, he had wormed his way back to France in the +Y.M.C.A.; but it was a soldier's job he did again that night, and for +days and nights to follow. Once a shell burst in his path and smashed +the radiator; he plugged it up with wood and kept her going. It is +provoking to be obliged to add that I was not in the car at the time. + +Nor did I thoroughly enjoy every minute of the hours I spent in it that +Saturday night; there was far too much occasion both for pangs and +fears. Though we had kept open longer than any other hut, and everybody +else (who was going) had left the town before us, yet the rest had gone +on foot and it seemed a villainy to pass them plodding in the stream of +refugees outside the town. It is true they all boarded lorries at the +earliest opportunity, and actually reached our common haven before us; +but that did not make our performance less inglorious at the time. Nor +had we any extenuating adventures on the way. The road, we understood, +was being heavily shelled; unless the enemy slumbered and slept, it was +bound to be; but I for one saw nothing of it. The Ford hood reduced the +landscape to a few yards of moonlit track, and the Ford engine drowned +all other noises of the night. But there was the perpetual apprehension +of that which never once occurred. Wherever we stopped, it had been +occurring freely. One of our huts, some kilometres out, was ringed with +huge shell-holes; but none were added during the interminable time we +waited in the road, while business was being transacted with which three +of the four of us had nothing to do. I do not know which was greater, +the relief of getting under way again, or the shame of leaving the crew +of that hut to their fate. + +Yet we had but to forget our own miserable skins and sensibilities, to +remember we were only on-lookers, and be thankful to be there that +night in any capacity whatsoever. For the straight French road whereon +we travelled--the wrong way, for our sins!--was choked with strings of +lorries and motor-'buses full of reinforcements for the battle-line; +silent men, miles and miles of them, mostly invisible, load after load; +all embussed, not a single company to be seen upon the march. It was +weird, but it was gorgeous: the tranquil moon above, the tossing dust +below, and these tall landships, packed with fighting-men, looming +through by the hundred. This one, we kept saying, must be the last; but +scarcely were we abreast, grazing her side, craning to make out the men +behind her darkened ports, than another ship-load broke dimly through +the dust, to tower above us in its turn. + +Thousands and thousands of gallant hearts! Sometimes the men themselves +fretted the top of a familiar 'bus--of course in khaki like its +load--but for the most part they were out of sight inside. And--it may +have been the drowning thud of their great engines, the noisier racket +of our own--but not a human sound can I remember first or last. So they +passed, speeding to the rescue; so they passed, how many to their +reward! Louder than our throbbing engines, and louder than the guns they +deadened, the fighting blood of England sang that night through all +these arteries of France; and our own few drops danced with our tears, +hurt as it might to rush by upon the other side. + +What with one stoppage and another, and always going against the stream +of heavy traffic, the thirty or forty kilometres must have taken us +three or four hours; and there, as I was saying, were our poor +pedestrians in port before us. It dispelled anxiety, if it did no more. +But there was no end to our mean advantages; for the good easy men were +making their beds upon the bare boards of the local Y.M.C.A., where we +found them with the refugees from yet another group of forsaken huts, +some eighty souls in all. They assured us there were no beds to be had +in the place, that the Town Major had commandeered every mattress. But a +cunning and influential veteran whispered another story in my private +ear; and on the understanding that his surreptitious arrangements should +include the mate of the Rest Hut, we adjourned with our friend in need +to the best hotel in the town, whence after supper we were conducted to +a still better billet. Here were not only separate beds, with sheets on +them, but separate rooms with muslin curtains, marbled wash-stands, +clocks and mirrors. It was true we had been forced to leave our heavy +baggage at headquarters in our own poor town; and there had not been +room in my despatch-case for any raiment for the night. But that was +because I had refused to escape without my library records, whatever +else was left behind. And the extensive contact with cool linen could +not lessen the glow of virtue, on that solitary head, with which I +stretched myself out in comfort inconceivable fifteen hours before. + +The day, beginning with the shock received from the Scottish Padre at +the head of the dungeon stairs, had been packed with surprise, +disappointment, irritation, mortal apprehension and emotion more varied +than any day of mine had ever yet brought forth. But I was physically +tired out, and a great deal more stolid about it all that night than I +feel now, six months after the event. The silence, I remember, was the +only thing that troubled me, after those three days and nights of almost +incessant shell-fire. But it was a joyous trouble--while it lasted. +Hardly had I closed my eyes upon the moonlit muslin curtains, when I +woke with a start to that unaltered scene. The only difference was the +slightly irregular hum of an enemy aeroplane, and the noise of bombs +bursting all too near our perfect billet. + + +IN THE DAY OF BATTLE + +It was not my first acquaintance with the town, nor yet with the hotel +to which our billet was affiliated. I had been there on a book-raid in +better days. It was in that hotel I found the hero of the apopthegm: +'Once a soldier--always a civilian!' And now its dismal saloons were +overflowing with essential civilians who might have been soldiers all +their lives; only here and there could one detect a difference; all +seemed equally imbued with the traditional nonchalance of the British +officer in a tight place. But for their uniform, and their martial +carriage, they might have been a festive gathering of the Old Boys of +any Public School. + +After breakfast we others sallied forth. The sun was still prematurely +hot. The uninjured street was full not only of khaki, but of the +townsfolk of both sexes, a new element to us in any but rare glimpses. +Their Sunday faces betrayed no sign of special anxiety. The bells were +tinkling peacefully for mass as we crossed the little river flowing +close behind the backs of the houses, and climbed the grassy height on +which the citadel stands bastioned. A party of British soldiers was +camped in its chill shadow; many were washing at the stream below, +their bodies white as milk between their trousers and their sunburnt +necks. Some, I think, were actually bathing. They did not look like the +battered remnant of a grand Battalion. Yet that was what they were. + +We foregathered with one chip from the modern battle-axe: a Sergeant and +old soldier who had been through all the war and through South Africa. +The last three days beat all. There had never been anything to touch +them. Masses had melted before his eyes. There they were, as thick as +corn, one minute, and the next they lay in swathes, and the next again +the swathes were one continuous stack of dead. The illustration was the +Sergeant's, and I know the fine rolling countryside he got it from; but +it was not the burden of his yarn. This came in so often, with an effect +so variable, that I was puzzled, knowing the perverse levity of the +type. + +'No nation can stand it,' were the exact words more than once. 'No +nation that ever was, can go on standing it.' + +'Do you mean----?' + +But I saw he didn't! The whites of his eyes were like an inner ring of +brick-red skin, but it was their blue that flamed with sardonic humour. + +'I mean the Germans!' cried he. 'No nation on earth can go on standing +what they had to stand yesterday and the day before. It's not in human +nature to go on standing it. I don't say as we didn't get it too....' + +Nor could he, while telling us what the remnant in the tents and on the +river-bank represented; but all such information was imparted in the +tone of a man making an admission for the sake of argument or fair play. +If I remember, the Sergeant had two wound-stripes under his pile of +service chevrons. But he had borne more lives than a squad of cats. +'Each time I find I'm all right, I just shake 'ands with myself and +carry on.' We got him to shake hands with us, and so parted with a +diamond in human form. + +Along the road below came the rag-time of a mediocre band; we hurried +down and stood in a gateway to review a company of Australians marching +into the town. This string of jewels was still unscattered by the fight, +of the same high water as our south-country Sergeant, only different in +cut and polish, if not of set sarcastic purpose. They were marching in +their own way; no stride or swing about it; but a more subtle +jauntiness, a kind of mincing strut, perhaps not unconsciously sinister +and unconventional, an aggressive part of themselves. But what men! What +beetling chests, what muscle-swollen sleeves, what dark, pugnacious, +shaven faces! Here and there a pendulous moustache mourned the beard of +some bushman of the old school; but no such adventitious aids could +have improved upon the naked truculence of most of those mouths and +chins. In their supercilious confidence they reminded me of the early +Australian cricketers, of beardless Blackham, Boyles and Bonnors taking +the field to mow down the flower of English cricket, in the days when +those were our serious wars. How I had hated the type as a schoolboy +sitting open-mouthed and heart-broken at the Oval! How I had feared it +as a hobble-de-hoy in the bush itself! But, in the day of battle, could +there have been a better sight than this potential band of bush-rangers +and demon bowlers? Not to my glasses; nor one more bitter for the mate +of the Rest Hut, thrice rejected from those very ranks. + +We wandered idly in their wake; and the next sight that I remember, +though it may not have been that morning, was almost as cheering in its +very different way. It was the spectacle of a single German prisoner, +being marched through the streets by a single British soldier with fixed +bayonet. The prisoner was an N.C.O., and a fine defiant brute, marching +magnificently just to show us. But his was not the hate that conceals +hate; he was the incarnation of the ineffable hymn, with his +quick-firing eyes and the high angle of his powerful chin. Physically +our man could not compare with him. And that seemed symbolical, at a +moment when signs and symbols were in some request. + +Then there were the men one had met before. Congested as it was with +traffic to and from the fighting, this little town was even more a +rendezvous for old acquaintance than the one from which we had beaten +our compulsory retreat. I was always running into somebody I had known +of old or through his people. One glorious young man, who had been much +upon my mind, came into the restaurant where we were having lunch on the +Tuesday. His eyes were clear but strained, his ears loaded with yellow +dust that toned artistically with his skin and hair. He said he had had +his first sleep for five nights--under a railway arch. Before the war he +had been up at Cambridge, and a very eminent Blue; if I said what he had +it for, and what ribbon he was wearing now, I might as well break my +rule and name him outright. But there had been three big brothers, then; +now there was only this one left--and at one time not much of him. It +did my heart good to see him here--looking as if he had never known a +day's illness, or the pain of wounds or grief--looking a young god if +there was one in France that day. + +But it was not only for his own or for his family's sake that the mere +sight of this splendid fellow was such a joy. The things he stood for +were more precious than any life or group of lives. He stood for the +generation which has been wiped out almost to a boy, as I knew it; he +stood for his brothers, and for all our sons who made their sacrifice at +once; he stood for the English games, and for those who had seemed to +live for games, but who jumped into the King's uniform quicker than they +ever changed into flannels in their lives. 'It is the one good thing the +war has done--to give public-school fellows a chance--they are the one +class who are enjoying themselves in this war.' So wrote one whose early +innings was of the shortest; and though it was a boyish boast, and they +were not the only class by any means, I should like to know which other +was quite as valuable when the war, too, was in its infancy? In each and +every country, by one means or the other, the men were to be had: only +our Public Schools could have furnished off-hand an army of natural +officers, trained to lead, old in responsibility, and afraid of nothing +in the world but fear itself. There were very few of the first lot left +last March, and now there are many fewer. Of one particular Eton and +Harrow match, I believe it can be said that not half-a-dozen of the +twenty-two players are now alive. It was something to meet so noble a +survivor, still leading in battle as he had learnt to lead at school and +college, both on and off the field. + +Nor had one to hang about hotels and restaurants, or camps or the street +corners, to see men straight from the fight or just going in, and to +take fresh heart from theirs. The chief local Y.M.C.A. was full of both +kinds, one more appealing than the other. It was perhaps the least +conscious appeal ever made to human heart; for men are proud in the day +of battle, and they are also mighty busy with their own affairs. What +pocket stores they were laying in! What sanguine reserves of tobacco and +cigarettes! That was a heartening sign. But there were no foreboding +faces that I could see. It is one of the strong points of the inner +soldier that he never thinks it is his turn; but if shell or bullet 'has +his name on it,' it will 'see him off,' as he also puts it. Some call +this fatalism. I call it Faith. It is their plain way of bowing to the +Will of God. But the only bow I saw was over the long last letters many +were writing, as though the bugle was already blowing for them, as +though they well knew what it meant. There was no looking unmoved upon +those bent backs and hurrying hands. + +Nor were they the most poignant figures; it was the men who had been in +it that one could not keep one's eyes off. Those we had seen bathing in +the morning were nothing to them. They had a night's rest behind them; +these were brands still smoking from the fire. Dirty as dustmen, +red-eyed, and with the growth of all these days upon their haggard +faces, some sat at the tables, eating and drinking like men who had just +discovered their own emptiness; and many lay huddled on the floor, as on +the battle-field itself, filling the hut with its very atmosphere. To +step over them, and to sit with the men who had a mind to talk, was to +get into the red heart of the thing that was going on. + +Not that they had very much to tell; all were hazy as to what had +happened; but all agreed it was the worst thing they had been through +yet, and all bore out our Sunday morning friend, that it was worse for +the enemy than for anybody else. This unanimity was remarkable; +especially if you consider, first the military history of that last ten +days in March, and secondly the fact that none of these unwounded +stalwarts was there for a normal reason. Each stood for scores or +hundreds who had gone under in the fight, or been taken prisoner. Yet it +was worse for the enemy! Yet we were going to win! I cannot swear to the +statement in those words, but it was implicit in their every utterance, +and emphatic in the things they never said. For though I brought +biscuits to many, and sat while they steeped them in their mugs and +gulped them down, not a first syllable of complaint reached my ears. On +that I would take my stand in any witness-box. And a Y.M.C.A. man knows; +they trust us, and speak their minds. + +Often in the winter 'peace-time,' as hinted early in these notes, I have +seen men shudder at the prospect of the trenches, heard bitter murmurs +at the mud and misery, and have done my best to answer the natural cry: +'When is this dreadful war going to finish? It will never be finished by +fighting!' There was nothing of that sort to cope with now. In the +winter I have heard lamentations for the stray man killed by a sniper or +a stray shell. There was the case of the Lewis gunner who had earned his +special leave; there was 'the best wee sergeant,' and there were others. +But there was none of that now that men were falling by the thousand; +not from a single one of these ravenous, red-eyed survivors. You may say +it was their hunger, weariness, and consequent insensibility, the +acquiescence of the sleeper in the snow. But they were full of +confidence phlegmatic yet serene. They were on the winning side; there +was never a doubt of it on their lips or in their eyes; and with us they +had no reason to keep their doubts to themselves. They had voiced them +freely in the winter. But now they had no doubts to voice. + +I do not propound their perspicacity or postulate an instinct they did +not claim themselves. I merely state a fact from observation of these +handfuls of men in the first days of the great crisis. That was the way +they reacted against the greatest enemy success since the first month of +the war. It is the English way, and always has been. And they happen to +be busy finishing the old sequel as I write. + +Yet if you had seen their eyes! I remember as a little boy seeing Lady +Butler's 'Charge of the Light Brigade' at my first Academy. I am not +sure that I have looked upon the canvas since, but the wild-eyed central +figure, 'back from the mouth of Hell,' rises up before me after forty +years. There is, to be sure, only the most odious of comparisons between +his heroic stand and the posture of my friends, who were not posing for +a Victorian battle-piece, but bolting biscuits and spilling tea on a +Y.M.C.A. table in modern France. Nevertheless, some of them had those +eyes. + + +OTHER OLD FELLOWS + +It was pleasant one morning to hear a sudden voice at my elbow: 'How's +the Rest Hut?' and to find at least one of its regular frequenters still +whole and hearty, in the press outside this teeming Y.M.C.A. But a more +embarrassing encounter occurred the same day and on the same too public +spot. + +It began in the hut, with a couple of sad young Jocks, who were like to +be sad, as they might have said; but they only smiled in wry yet not +unhumorous resignation. Their story was that of thousands upon the +imperative stoppage of all leave. These two had started off on theirs, +and were going aboard at Boulogne when headed back to their Battalion, +which they had now to find. It chanced to be one of those to which I had +helped to minister in the sunken road at Christmas. They remembered the +Cocoa Man, as I had been called there, but in the morning they were not +demonstrative. + +About mid-day we met again, and as I say, in the surging crowd outside +the Y.M.C.A. This time the case was sadly altered; the hapless pair had +been consoling themselves at another spring, and were at the +warm-hearted stage. Nothing was now too good for the poor Cocoa Man, no +compliment too wildly hyperbolical. Falling with their unabated forces +upon both his hands, only stopping short of the actual neck, they +greeted him as 'a brave mon' in that concourse of braves, and proceeded +to embroider the charge with unconscionable detail. + +'Thairty-five yarrds from the Gairmans,' declared one, 'this ol' feller +was teemin' cocoa in the trenches. I'm tellin' ye! Lash C'rishmash--mind +ye--shnow an' ische! Thairty-five yarrds from the Gairmans--strike me +dead!' + +A vindictive Deity might well have taken him at his word, for dividing +the real distance by more than ten. But nothing came of it except a +murmur of general incredulity, obsequiously confirmed by the Cocoa Man, +and from the other Jock's wagging head a sentimental echo: 'Thish ol' +feller! Thish ol' feller!' he could only say for the pavement's benefit. + +'Why was _I_ there?' demanded the spokesman, with a rhetorical thump +upon his chest. 'Dis-_cip_-line--dis-_cip_-line--only reason _I_ was +there. But this ol' feller----' + +'Thish ol' _feller_!' screamed the other, in a paroxysm of affection; +and when I had eventually retrieved both hands I left them singing my +longevity in those terms, like a catch, and took my blushes to a safer +part of the town. + +'I've given them a bitty,' whispered one of our ministers, who had +assisted my escape, 'and told them to go away and get something to +_eat_.' + +And the sly carnal wisdom of the advice, no less than the charity which +made it practicable, left a good taste in the mouth. It was the kind of +thing I ventured to think we wanted in our workers. In any community of +sinners there is room for the saint who will help a man to get sober +sooner than scold him for getting drunk. + +Not that I saw above half-a-dozen tipsy men in all the huts that I was +ever in. They were to be seen, no doubt, but they did not come our way. +The soldier who seeks the Y.M. in his cups is not a hardened case. He is +the last person to be discouraged, as he will be the first to deplore +his imprudence in the morning. I have heard a splendid young New +Zealander speak of the lapse that had cost him his stripes as though +nobody had ever made so dire a fool of himself. That is the kind of +notion to scout even at the cost of a high line in these matters. It is +possible to make too much of the virtues that come easily to ourselves; +and to the average Y.M.C.A. man the cardinal virtues seemed very like +second nature. This is not covert irony, but a simple fact which, for +that matter, ought hardly to have been otherwise, since most of us were +ministers of one denomination or another. The minority were apt to +feel, but were not necessarily justified in feeling, that a more liberal +admixture of 'sinful laymen' might have put us, as a body, even more +intimately in touch with the men than we undoubtedly were. + +Chief, however, among the virtues of my comrades, I think any +unprejudiced observer would have placed that of Courage. There were now +no fewer than eighty of us, all leaves before the wind of war, blown +helter-skelter into this little town that must be nameless. We had come +off all sorts and sizes of trees, down to the most sensitive and +frailest; but from the first squall to the last we were permitted to +face, and throughout these days of precarious shelter, in many ways a +higher test, I never saw a man among us outwardly the worse for nerves. +And be it known that the small personal escapes and excitements recorded +in these notes, were as nothing to the full-size adventures of a great +many of our refugees. In outlying huts, cheek by jowl with the camps +they served, the shelling had been far heavier and more direct than the +officers of the Rest Hut had been privileged to undergo; the +responsibility had been much greater, and the means of escape not to be +compared with ours. Little home-made dug-outs, under the hut itself, had +been their nearest approach to our vaulted dungeon, a tattoo of shrapnel +their variety of shell-music. Whole walls had been blown in on them, +men killed and wounded under the riddled roof. Some had suffered even +more from a bodyguard of our own guns than from the enemy; one reverend +gentleman declared in writing that his 'hut reeled like a ship in a +great sea.' + +Another wrote: 'A wave of gas entered our domain and we had a season of +intense coughing and sneezing, also watering of eyes. Thinking it was +but a passing wave of gas from our own guns, we did not use our +respirators, but reaching up to a box of sweets I distributed them to my +comrades, and we lay sucking sweets to take away the taste.' (This was a +Baptist minister with a South African ribbon, and not the man to lie +long doing anything.) 'After breakfast I called upon the Artillery +Officers to offer my staff to make hot cocoa and supply biscuits during +the morning for the hard-worked gun-teams, an offer which he gratefully +accepted. I then made my way up to the dressing-station to see if the +Medical Officer required our services for the walking wounded. His reply +being in the affirmative, I took stock of the equipment we had on the +spot, then went back to bring up all necessary articles, also my +comrades. The small hut we have near the dressing-station for this work +was being so hotly shelled that the M.O. would not allow us to remain +there, so we worked outside the dressing-station door, a little more +sheltered, but still exposed to shell-fire. We comforted the wounded, +gave them hot tea and free cigarettes. A lull occurred during the +morning in our work, so Mr. ---- returned to make the cocoa for the +gun-teams, Mr. ---- remained to carry on at the dressing-station, and I +returned to clear the cash-boxes, fill my pockets with rescued +paper-money, prepared again for emergency.... We continued our work with +the wounded, and as the same increased in number, I then assisted in +bandaging the smaller wounds, having knowledge of that kind of work. +Later, the A.P.M. gave me his field-glasses and asked me to act as +observer and report to him every change in the progress of the battle of +the ridges. This was most interesting work, but meant constant exposure. +One of our aeroplanes sounded its hooter and dropped a message about 600 +yards away. On reporting it I was asked to cross over and see that the +message was delivered to the correct battery.' + +This was a man! But do not forget he was also a Baptist minister on a +four-months furlough at the front. 'Once a soldier!' he too may have +said after his first campaign, and clinched it by entering his ministry; +but here he was in his pious prime, excelling his lay youth in deeds of +gallantry, and covering our civilian heads with his reflected glory. No +wonder he 'heard from two sources that my work on that day received +mention in military dispatches.' Let us hope it did. 'If true,' he makes +haste to add, 'the work of my two colleagues is as much deserving.' But +who inspired them? Before they turned their backs, 'the advancing +Germans were only about 700 yards away. Securing some of our goods, we +decided to retire upon ---- for the night and return if possible the +next day.' The last six words italicise themselves. + +The party went out of the frying-pan into heavier fire further back: +'Soon after we had retired to rest the Germans commenced to bombard the +place with high velocity shells from long range.... A Lieutenant in our +hut went to the door, but reeled back immediately with a shattered arm. +A Corporal outside received a nasty wound in the shoulder. We set to +work bandaging the wounds of these men and making them comfortable while +others went to obtain a conveyance. There was no shelter, so after the +wounded were safely on their way to a C.C.S. we lay down in our +blankets, considering it as easy to be shelled in the warm as standing +in the cold'--more wine that needs no printer's bush. Later, he relieved +the leader of a very hot hut indeed, where he had for colleague 'one who +was calm in the hour of danger.' Here the congenial pair 'were able to +carry on for four days, when the order came for us to evacuate. We +distributed our stock of goods to the soldiers, then closed up. That +night we lay in our blankets counting the bursting shells around us at +three shells per minute.' On their arrival in our common port, naturally +not before, 'the effects of the gas at ---- began to make themselves +felt, and I was ordered by the Medical Officer to take a week's complete +rest.' One wonders if a rest was better earned in all those terrific +days. + +The document from which I have been quoting is only one of many placed +at my disposal. It is typical of them all, exceptional solely in the +telling simplicity of the narrator. The writer was not our only minister +who came through the fire pure gold; he was not even the only Baptist +minister. One there was, the gentlest of souls, whose heroic story I may +yet make shift to tell, though it deserves the hand of Mr. Service or of +'Woodbine Willie.' Such were the men I had the honour of working with +last winter, and of such their adventures as against the personal +experiences it was necessary to recount first or else not at all. I +confess they make my Rest Hut look a little too restful as I set them +down; for there we were wonderfully spared the tangible horrors of the +situation; but many of these others, as little used to bloodshed as +ourselves, had left a shambles behind them, and looked upon the things +that haunt a mind. + +And yet, as I began by saying, not a man of them showed shaken nerves, +or what mattered more to those of us who had seen less, a shaken faith. +Therein they were not only worthy of the men they had served so +devotedly to the end, but of the sublime tradition it was theirs to +uphold. It was a great matter that there should not have been one heart +among us so faint as to affect another, that we should have carried +ourselves at least outwardly as I think we did. But to some of us it +seemed a yet greater matter, in the days of anti-climax and reaction now +in store, that those to whom we were entitled to look for spiritual +support did not fail us in a single instance. + + +THE REST CAMP--AND AFTER + +Y.M.C.A. work was over for the time being in the fighting areas. +Hundreds of huts and mountains of stores had been abandoned or +destroyed. What was to be done with the six or seven dozen of us, now +thoroughly superfluous men (and as many more in other centres), was the +immediate problem. It was solved by the High Command putting at our +disposal an Army rest-camp on the coast. + +Thither we all started by rail on the evening of Tuesday, March 26th. +Ten minutes after our train left, the station was heavily bombed; +half-an-hour later we were lying low in a cutting, under a mercilessly +full moon, but perhaps in deeper shadow than we supposed, while a German +aeroplane scoured the sky for mischief. There was an Anti-Aircraft +Battery also concealed about the district; thanks to its activities, we +were at length able to proceed with less fear of molestation. But only +fitfully; the full moon saw to that. It was as light as noonday through +smoked glasses, and very soon our train was hiding in the next wood that +happened to intersect the line. + +Did we waste time talking about it, discussing our chances, or mildly +anathematising our last-straw luck? Not for many minutes; at least, not +in the bare truck round which some fifty of us squatted on our baggage. +We had begun the last stage of our exodus in a certain fashion; and in +that fashion we went on--and on. Before we were five minutes out, one of +them had struck up a hymn, and we had sung it with all our lungs and +hearts. Another and another followed; and in the stoppages, after a +human peep at the sky, and a silence broken by the beat of the +destroyer's engine, there was always some exalted voice to lead us yet +again, and a stentorian following every time. Though the tunes were +often strange to me, and to my mind no improvement on the ones I wanted, +the hymns themselves were the old hymns that take a man back to his old +home and his old school. Each was like a bottle charged with the essence +of some ancient scene. One savoured the scents of vanished rooms, heard +the sound of voices long past singing or long ago stilled; forgotten +influences, childish promptings, looks and thoughts and sayings, came +leaping out of the dead past into that dark truck hiding for dear life +in a wood. And of all the unreal situations I was ever in--or invented, +for that matter--this at last struck me as about the most unconvincing +and far-fetched. Yet at the same time, like all else that really +matters, it seemed the most natural thing in the world: as though the +whole history of mankind had not led up to the horrors and splendours of +this stupendous war more inevitably than our fifty life-lines converged +in that truck-load of brave, faithful, hymn-singing men. + +Then a hymn would end, and there would be sometimes as much as a minute +of natural talk and normal thinking. But it was like the lorries full of +fighting-men in the moonlit dust; always a new leader filled the breach; +and the officers of the Rest Hut had long been stolid listeners when we +stopped once more, not to hide, but at some station, and that weary pair +sneaked out into another truck. Here there were but other two before +them: a sardonic Anglican, and a young man enviably asleep under less +covering than would have soothed our thinner blood. Side by side we +cowered upon a packing-case, a Rest Hut blanket about our legs, and +discussed the secular situation over a pipe. Almost the last thing we +two had heard in the town was a whisper about the German cavalry; a +rumour so sensational that we were keeping it to ourselves; but it only +confirmed the mate in his prophetic conviction that the fools were just +cutting their own throats deeper with every mile they advanced. That was +_his_ hymn; not a stage of our flight had he failed to beguile with the +grim refrain; but in the truck I seem to recall a wilder dream of +getting into some dead man's uniform, if the other folly went much +further, and risking a firing-party for one blow at a Boche by fair or +foul. It was perhaps as well that we were going beyond the reach of any +such desperate temptations. + +The Rest Camp was on a chilly plateau at the mouth of the Somme: it +might have been the Murrambidgee for all the warfare within reach. A few +faint flashes claimed our wistful attention on a clear night, but I have +heard the guns better here in Sussex. On the other hand, it was a +military camp, laid out on scientific principles that appealed to the +camp-following spirit, and military discipline kept us on our acquired +mettle. I had not slept under canvas for thirty years, and rather +dreaded it, especially as the weather had turned cold and unsettled. A +tent in the rain had perhaps more terrors for many of us than a snug hut +under occasional shell-fire; but few if any were the worse for the +experience. Indeed, the chief drawback was an appetite out of all +proportion to available rations; but, though tempers were at times on +edge, and fists clenched in the bacon queue, on one of our few bacon +mornings, no grumbling disgraced the board. We reminded ourselves and +each other of the lads we had left to bear the brunt, and we started +our humdrum days with vociferous jocosity in the wash-house. + +Easter was upon us before we were fairly settled, or a tent pitched +large enough to hold us all; and it was 'in sundry places,' indeed, that +we mobilised as a congregation. One was the open shed in which we +shivered over meals, and one the camp shower-baths. But on Easter Day, +which was fine and bright, all adjourned to a neighbouring wood, then +breaking into bud and song; and sitting or leaning in a circle against +the trees, at the intersection of two green rides, we held our service +in Nature's sanctuary. In that ring of unmilitary men in khaki there +were few who had not been nearer violent death than ever in their lives +before, very few but were prepared to face it afresh at the first +chance, one at least who was soon to be killed behind his counter; and +presently a young man standing in our midst, an Anglican with a +Nonconformist gift of speech, brought the spring morning home to our +hearts, filled them with thankfulness for our lot and trust in the +issue, and pride of sacrifice, and love of Him Who showed the way, in a +sermon one would not have missed for the best they were getting in +London at that hour. It was not the only fine sermon we had in the Rest +Camp; and wonderful it was to hear the same simple note struck so often, +albeit from different angles of the Christian faith, and so seldom +forced. We must have had representatives of all the English-spoken +Churches, save and except the parent of them all; constantly an Anglican +and a Dissenter would officiate together, with many a piquant compromise +between their respective usages; but when it came to preaching, they +were like searchlights trained from divers quarters upon the same +central fact of Christianity. The separate beams might taper off into +the night, but high overhead they met and mingled in a single splendour. + +But there was one minister who took no part; he lay too sick in our +tent; and yet his mere record is the sermon I remember best. He was that +other Baptist already mentioned, a shy bachelor of fifty, the most +diffident and (one might have thought) least resolute of men. A lad he +loved had come out and been killed; the impulse took him to follow and +throw himself into the war in the only capacity open to his years. The +Y.M.C.A. is the refuge of those consciously or unconsciously in quest of +this anodyne. We had met at my first hut, where he had slaved many days +as an extra hand. Never was one of us so deferential towards the men; +never were they served with a more intense solicitude, or addressed +across the counter with so many marks of respect. 'Sir,' he never +failed to call them to their faces, or 'this gentleman' when invoking +expert intervention. That gentleman, being one, never smiled; but we +did, sometimes, in our room. Then one Sunday I persuaded him to preach. +It was a revelation. The hut had heard nothing simpler, manlier, +straighter from the shoulder; and the war, not just then the safest +subject, was finely and bravely treated, both in the sermon and the +final prayer. A fighting sermon and a fighting prayer, for all the +gentle piety that formed the greater part, and all the sensitive +mannerism which would never make us smile again. + +At that time our outpost in the support line, scene of my Christmas +outing, had been running a good many weeks; and its popularity as a +holiday resort was not imperceptibly upon the wane. Most of us had +tasted its fearful joys, and there were no offers for a second helping; +it was emphatically a thing to have done rather than the thing to do +again. It came to the Baptist's turn, and when his week was up there was +a genuine difficulty in relieving him, one or two on the rota having +fallen sick. Our young commandant went up to ask if he would mind doing +an extra day or two. Mind! It was his one desire; he was as happy as a +king--and he had quite transformed the place. The tiny hut was no longer +the pig-sty described in an earlier note; it was as neat and spotless +as an old maid's sanctum. The urns were like burnished silver. The fire +never smoked. The bed had been brought in from the unspeakable tunnel +under the sand-bags; it was as dry as a bone, and curtained off at its +own end of the cabin. All these improvements the Baptist had wrought +single-handed, besides fending and cooking for himself: no Battalion +Headquarters for him! An extra week was just what he had been longing +for; in point of fact, he stayed four weeks on end, as against my four +paltry days! + +Shells arrived in due course; death happened at the door; men grievously +wounded staggered in for first aid; the lengthening days kept him +fireless till evening; but the cocoa had never been so well made, or so +continuous the supply. Once a big shell burst within a yard of the +grassy roof, on the very edge of the high ground of which the roof was a +colourable extension. It brought down all the mugs and urns and +condensed-milk tins with a run; and that day we did see the Baptist at +our mid-day board. 'It shook me up a bitty,' he confessed with his shy +laugh; but back he went in the afternoon; and illness alone restored him +to us when the month was up. + +But the gem of his performance was an act of moral gallantry: and here +is needed the Rough Rhyme of a Padre or of a Red Cross Man. One cold +night a Sergeant-Major--Regimental, I do believe--honoured the cabin +with his presence, only to fire a burst of improper language at the +weather and the war. The Baptist, whom we may figure on the verge of +genuflexion before the august guest, lost not a moment in standing up to +him. + +'You can't talk like that here, sir!' he cried with stern simplicity. +'It's not allowed!' + +'Can't,' if you please, and 'not allowed'! You picture the audience +settling down to the dreadful drama, hear the cold shudders of the +callow, see the turkey-cock turning an appropriate purple. He very soon +showed what he could do; but it was no longer a spontaneous or such a +glib display. The rum that happened somehow to be in him seems to have +had something to do with this; but not, it may be, as much as the +Sergeant-Major pretended; and the torpor that rather suddenly supervened +I diagnose as the ready resource of an expert in camouflage. Better +gloriously drunk than ignominiously admonished by an unprintable hiatus +of a Y.M. Padre! + +So a party of muscular volunteers escorted the S.M. to his dug-out. But +the next day he returned alone, crisp-footed and square-jawed, +apparently to put the Baptist in his place for ever. Exactly what +followed, that gentle hero was not the man to relate. Again one +pictures Peeping Tommies exposing themselves on the sunken road to see +the fun, perhaps the murder; but what I really believe they might have +seen, before many minutes were up, was the spectacle of the two +protagonists upon their knees. + + * * * * * + +Stranger things have been happening, even on that sunken road of ours. +It was lost to us in those very days of the Army Rest Camp; it had not +been recovered when I was busy expatiating on its Christmas charms; its +recovery was one of the first loose stones in the avalanche of vast +events which has caught me up.... And now they say the war is over! To +have seen something of it all in the last dark hour--and nothing +since--is to find even more than the old war-time difficulty in +believing half one hears. One has too many fixed ideas and violent +impressions, not only of those four months, but of these four years: a +man has to clear his own entanglements before he can begin to advance +with such times. In the meantime the patter about Indemnities and +Demobilisation leaves him cold. Demobilisation will have to begin nearer +home than charity, in the armies of our thoughts; and some are not as +highly disciplined as others, some hearts too sore to enter as they +would into this Peace. + +For them there is still the Y.M.C.A. That little force of camp-followers +still holds the field, has nothing to say to any Armistice, may well +have started its most strenuous campaign. With the Armies of Occupation +its work will hardly be the romantic enterprise it was; with all the +danger, most of the glamour will have departed; but the deeper +attractions are the less adventitious, while the Rhine at any rate +should provide some piquant novelties in place of old excitements. The +grand fleet of huts will soon be anchored there--including, as I hope, +the new Rest Hut that was to have been tucked up close behind the Line. +Once more before each counter there will be the old press of matchless +manhood and humanity; neater and sprucer, I make no doubt, but otherwise +neither more nor less like conquering heroes than their old +unconquerable selves; and just once more, behind the counter, the chance +of a lifetime, but the last chance, for 'sinful laymen' of the milder +sort! + +Will it be taken? Are our courageous ministers to have the last field +practically to themselves, or will a few mere men of the world even now +step in, if only for the honour of the laity? They would if they knew +what the work is like and what it may be made, how free a hand is given +one, how generously one is met by all concerned, and the modicum of +spiritual equipment essential if only that modicum be sincere. Pre-war +notions about the Young Men's Christian Association still militate a +little against the Y.M.C.A. for all the halo of success attaching to +those capitals; but hear a soldier from the front upon the 'Y.M.' _tout +court_, and his affectionate abbreviation of an abbreviation will in +itself tell you something of the institution as it is to-day. It has +meant rather more to him than 'tea and prayer in equal parts'; yet that +conception still prevails in superior circles. Quite lately I heard a +dignitary of the Established Church speak with pain of a brilliant young +Oxford man of his acquaintance, who, rejected of the Army, must needs be +'giving out tea in some tent in France!' It seemed to him a truly +shocking waste of fine material; but if that young man was not giving +out a great deal more than creature comforts, and getting at least as +good as he gave, then it was a still more wanton waste of an opportunity +which the finest young man alive might have been proud to seize. + +The truth is, of course, that no man is too good for this job. He may be +a specialist, and more valuable to the community where he is than he +would be (to the community) in a Y.M.C.A. or a Church Army hut. He may +be a Cabinet Minister, a Bishop, or a Judge: that does not make him too +good to minister to the men who have borne the brunt of this war: it +only makes him too busy and perhaps too old. One must not even now be +extra liable to 'die of winter,' as the Tynesider said, nor yet too +dainty about bed and board. But the better the man, the better he will +do this work, the more he will bring to it, the more he will find in it; +the greater will be his tact, the greater his loving-kindness and +humility; the readier will he be to recognise many a better man than +himself in our noble rank-and-file--to learn all they have to teach him +in patience and naturalness, unselfishness and simplicity--and to +perceive the higher service involved in serving them, even across a +counter. + + To Him Who made the Heavens move and cease not in their motion-- + To Him Who leads the haltered tides twice a day round ocean-- + Let His name be magnified in all poor folks' devotion! + + Not for Prophecies or Powers, Visions, Gifts or Graces, + But the unrelenting hours that grind us in our places, + With the burden on our backs, the smile upon our faces. + + Not for any miracle of easy loaves and fishes, + But for work against our will and waiting 'gainst our wishes-- + Such as gathering up the crumbs and cleaning dirty dishes. + +It may or may not be that Mr. Kipling is thinking of the Y.M.C.A. I do +not know the title of his poem, or whether it has yet appeared +elsewhere, or another line of it. These lines I owe to his kindness, and +as usual they crystallise all that one was trying to say. But to some of +us the crumbs that fell were a feast of fine humanity, and great indeed +was his reward who gathered them. + + + +_Printed in Great Britain by _Butler and Tanner_, Frome and London._ + + + + +Transcriber's Note: The following typographical errors present in the +original edtion have been corrected. + +In "Under Way", =equal fimrness and good-humour= was changed to =equal +firmness and good-humour=. + +In "Christmas Day", =abroad on the battlefield= was changed to =abroad on +the battle-field=. + +In "The Babes in the Trenches", =The fire was out; it seemed= was changed +to =The fire was out, it seemed=. + +In "Orderly Men", a period was changed to a comma after =copies for +myself=. + +In "The Hut in Being", ='I don't want the political'!= was changed to ='I +don't want the political!'= + +In "War and the Man", =argumentum at hominem= was changed to =argumentum ad +hominem=. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Notes of a Camp-Follower on the +Western Front, by E. 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