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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/36621-8.txt b/36621-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0fb1376 --- /dev/null +++ b/36621-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3141 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Inkle and Yarico, by George Colman + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Inkle and Yarico + An opera, in three acts + +Author: George Colman + +Commentator: Mrs. Inchbald + +Release Date: July 5, 2011 [EBook #36621] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INKLE AND YARICO *** + + + + +Produced by Steven desJardins, David Garcia and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +[Illustration: INKLE AND YARICO + INKLE--BY HEAVENS! A WOMAN! + ACT I. SCENE III. + PAINTED BY HOWARD. PUBLISHD BY LONGMAN & CO. ENGRAVD BY HEATH.] + + + + + + +INKLE AND YARICO; AN OPERA, IN THREE ACTS; + + AS PERFORMED AT THE THEATRES ROYAL + COVENT GARDEN, AND HAYMARKET. + +BY + +GEORGE COLMAN, THE YOUNGER; + + PRINTED, UNDER THE AUTHORITY OF THE MANAGERS, + FROM THE PROMPT BOOK. + + +WITH REMARKS BY MRS. INCHBALD. + + LONDON: + PRINTED FOR LONGMAN, HURST, REES, AND ORME, PATERNOSTER ROW. + + + T. Davison, Whitefriars, + London. + + + + +REMARKS. + + +This is a drama, which might remove from Mr. Wilberforce his aversion +to theatrical exhibitions, and convince him, that the teaching of moral +duty is not confined to particular spots of ground; for, in those +places, of all others, the doctrine is most effectually inculcated, +where exhortation is the most required--the resorts of the gay, the +idle, and the dissipated. + +This opera was written, when the author was very young; and, should +he live to be very old, he will have reason to be proud of it to his +latest day--for it is one of those plays which is independent of time, +of place, or of circumstance, for its value. It was popular before the +subject of the abolition of the slave trade was popular. It has the +peculiar honour of preceding that great question. It was the bright +forerunner of alleviation to the hardships of slavery. + +The trivial faults of this opera are--too much play on words (as it is +called) by Trudge; and some classical allusions by other characters, +in whose education such knowledge could not be an ingredient. + +A fault more important, is--that the scene at the commencement of the +opera, instead of Africa, is placed in America. It would undoubtedly +have been a quick passage, to have crossed a fourth part of the +western globe, during the interval between the first and second acts; +still, as the hero and heroine of the drama were compelled to go to +sea--imagination, with but little more exertion, might have given them +a fair wind as well from the coast whence slaves are _really_ brought, +as from a shore where no such traffic is held[1]. + +As an opera, Inkle and Yarico has the singular merit not to be +protected, though aided, by the power of music: the characters are so +forcibly drawn, that even those performers who sing, and study that +art alone, can render every part effectual: and singers and actors of +future times, like those of the past, and of the present, will find +every character exactly suited to their talents. + +This opera has been performed in every London theatre, and in every +theatre of the kingdom, with the same degree of splendid success. It +would have been wonderful had its reception been otherwise; for the +subject is a most interesting one, and in the treatment of it, the +author has shewn taste, judgment--virtue. + +[Footnote 1: No doubt the author would have ingenuity to argue away +this objection--but that, which requires argument for its support in a +dramatic work, is a subject for complaint. As slaves are imported from +Africa, and never from America, the audience, in the two last acts of +this play, feel as if they had been in the wrong quarter of the globe +during the first act. Inkle could certainly steal a native from +America, and sell her in Barbadoes, but this is not so consonant with +that nice imitation of the order of things as to rank above criticism.] + + + + +PERSONS REPRESENTED. + + +COVENT GARDEN. + + INKLE _Mr. Johnstone._ + SIR CHRISTOPHER CURRY _Mr. Quick._ + CAMPLEY _Mr. Davies._ + MEDIUM _Mr. Wewitzer._ + TRUDGE _Mr. Edwin._ + MATE _Mr. Darley._ + + YARICO _Mrs. Billington._ + NARCISSA _Mrs. Mountain._ + WOWSKI _Mrs. Martyr._ + PATTY _Mrs. Rock._ + + +HAYMARKET. + + INKLE _Mr. Bannister, jun._ + SIR CHRISTOPHER CURRY _Mr. Parsons._ + MEDIUM _Mr. Baddeley._ + CAMPLEY _Mr. Davies._ + TRUDGE _Mr. Edwin._ + MATE _Mr. Meadows._ + + YARICO _Mrs. Kemble._ + NARCISSA _Mrs. Bannister._ + WOWSKI _Miss George._ + PATTY _Mrs. Forster._ + + +_SCENE,--First on the Main of America: Afterwards in Barbadoes._ + + + + +INKLE AND YARICO. + + * * * * * + + + + +ACT THE FIRST. + + +SCENE I. + + _An American Forest._ + +_Medium._ [_Without._] Hilli ho! ho! + +_Trudge._ [_Without._] Hip! hollo! ho!--Hip!---- + +_Enter MEDIUM and TRUDGE._ + +_Med._ Pshaw! it's only wasting time and breath. Bawling won't persuade +him to budge a bit faster, and, whatever weight it may have in _some_ +places, bawling, it seems, don't go for argument here. Plague on't! we +are now in the wilds of America. + +_Trudge._ Hip, hillio--ho--hi!---- + +_Med._ Hold your tongue, you blockhead, or---- + +_Trudge._ Lord! sir, if my master makes no more haste, we shall all be +put to sword by the knives of the natives. I'm told they take off heads +like hats, and hang 'em on pegs, in their parlours. Mercy on us! My +head aches with the very thoughts of it. Hollo! Mr. Inkle! master; +hollo! + +_Med._ [_Stops his mouth._] Head aches! Zounds, so does mine, with your +confounded bawling. It's enough to bring all the natives about us; and +we shall be stripped and plundered in a minute. + +_Trudge._ Aye; stripping is the first thing that would happen to us; +for they seem to be woefully off for a wardrobe. I myself saw three, at +a distance, with less clothes than I have, when I get out of bed: all +dancing about in black buff; just like Adam in mourning. + +_Med._ This is to have to do with a schemer! a fellow who risks his +life, for a chance of advancing his interest.--Always advantage in +view! Trying, here, to make discoveries, that may promote his profit in +England. Another Botany Bay scheme, mayhap. Nothing else could induce +him to quit our foraging party, from the ship; when he knows every +inhabitant here is not only as black as a pepper-corn, but as hot into +the bargain--and _I_, like a fool, to follow him! and then to let him +loiter behind.--Why, nephew;--Why, Inkle.--[_Calling._] + +_Trudge._ Why, Inkle----Well! only to see the difference of men! he'd +have thought it very hard, now, if I had let him call so often after +me. Ah! I wish he was calling after me now, in the old jog-trot way, +again. What a fool was I to leave London for foreign parts!----That +ever I should leave Threadneedle-street, to thread an American forest, +where a man's as soon lost as a needle in a bottle of hay! + +_Med._ Patience, Trudge! Patience! If we once recover the ship---- + +_Trudge._ Lord, sir, I shall never recover what I have lost in coming +abroad. When my master and I were in London, I had such a mortal snug +birth of it! Why, I was _factotum_. + +_Med._ Factotum to a young merchant is no such sinecure, neither. + +_Trudge._ But then the honour of it. Think of that, sir; to be clerk as +well as _own man_. Only consider. You find very few city clerks made +out of a man, now-a-days. To be king of the counting-house, as well +as lord of the bed-chamber. Ah! if I had him but now in the little +dressing-room behind the office; tying his hair, with a bit of red +tape, as usual. + +_Med._ Yes, or writing an invoice in lampblack, and shining his shoes +with an ink-bottle, _as usual_, you blundering blockhead! + +_Trudge._ Oh, if I was but brushing the accounts or casting up the +coats! mercy on us! what's that? + +_Med._ That! What? + +_Trudge._ Didn't you hear a noise? + +_Med._ Y--es--but--hush! Oh, heavens be praised! here he is at last. + +_Enter INKLE._ + +Now, nephew! + +_Inkle._ So, Mr. Medium. + +_Med._ Zounds, one would think, by your confounded composure, that you +were walking in St. James's Park, instead of an American forest: and +that all the beasts were nothing but good company. The hollow trees, +here, sentry boxes, and the lions in 'em, soldiers; the jackalls, +courtiers; the crocodiles, fine women; and the baboons, beaus. What the +plague made you loiter so long? + +_Inkle._ Reflection. + +_Med._ So I should think; reflection generally comes lagging behind. +What, scheming, I suppose; never quiet. At it again, eh? What a happy +trader is your father, to have so prudent a son for a partner! Why, you +are the carefullest Co. in the whole city. Never losing sight of the +main chance; and that's the reason, perhaps, you lost sight of us, +here, on the main of America. + +_Inkle._ Right, Mr. Medium. Arithmetic, I own, has been the means of +our parting at present. + +_Trudge._ Ha! A sum in division, I reckon. + + [_Aside._ + +_Med._ And pray, if I may be so bold, what mighty +scheme has just tempted you to employ your head, +when you ought to make use of your heels? + +_Inkle._ My heels! Here's pretty doctrine! Do you think I travel merely +for motion? What, would you have a man of business come abroad, scamper +extravagantly here and there and every where, then return home, and +have nothing to tell, but that he has _been_ here and there and every +where? 'Sdeath, sir, would you have me travel like a lord? + +_Med._ No, the Lord forbid! + +_Inkle._ Travelling, uncle, was always intended for improvement; and +improvement is an advantage; and advantage is profit, and profit is +gain. Which in the travelling translation of a trader, means, that you +should gain every advantage of improving your profit. I have been +comparing the land, here, with that of our own country. + +_Med._ And you find it like a good deal of the land of our own +country----cursedly encumbered with black legs, I take it. + +_Inkle._ And calculating how much it might be made to produce by the +acre. + +_Med._ You were? + +_Inkle._ Yes; I was proceeding algebraically upon the subject. + +_Med._ Indeed! + +_Inkle._ And just about extracting the square root. + +_Med._ Hum! + +_Inkle._ I was thinking too, if so many natives could be caught, how +much they might fetch at the West Indian markets. + +_Med._ Now let me ask you a question, or two, young cannibal catcher, +if you please. + +_Inkle._ Well. + +_Med._ Ar'n't we bound for Barbadoes; partly to trade, but chiefly to +carry home the daughter of the governor, Sir Christopher Curry, who has +till now been under your father's care, in Threadneedle-street, for +polite English education? + +_Inkle._ Granted. + +_Med._ And isn't it determined, between the old folks, that you are to +marry Narcissa, as soon as we get there? + +_Inkle._ A fixed thing. + +_Med._ Then what the devil do you do here, hunting old hairy negroes, +when you ought to be obliging a fine girl in the ship? Algebra, too! +You'll have other things to think of when you are married, I promise +you. A plodding fellow's head, in the hands of a young wife, like a +boy's slate, after school, soon gets all its arithmetic wiped off: and +then it appears in its true simple state: dark, empty, and bound in +wood, Master Inkle. + +_Inkle._ Not in a match of this kind. Why, it's a table of interest +from beginning to end, old Medium. + +_Med._ Well, well, this is no time to talk. Who knows but, instead of +sailing to a wedding, we may get cut up, here, for a wedding dinner: +tossed up for a dingy duke, perhaps, or stewed down for a black +baronet, or eat raw by an inky commoner? + +_Inkle._ Why sure you ar'n't afraid? + +_Med._ Who, I afraid? Ha! ha! ha! No, not I! What the deuce should I +be afraid of? Thank Heaven I have a clear conscience, and need not be +afraid of any thing. A scoundrel might not be quite so easy on such +an occasion; but it's the part of an honest man not to behave like a +scoundrel: I never behaved like a scoundrel--for which reason I am an +honest man, you know. But come--I hate to boast of my good qualities. + +_Inkle._ Slow and sure, my good, virtuous Mr. Medium! Our companions +can be but half a mile before us: and, if we do but double their steps, +we shall overtake 'em at one mile's end, by all the powers of arithmetic. + +_Med._ Oh curse your arithmetic! + + [_Exeunt._ + + +SCENE II. + + _Another part of the Forest.--A ship at anchor in the bay at + a small distance.--Mouth of a cave._ + +_Enter SAILORS and MATE, as returning from foraging._ + +_Mate._ Come, come, bear a hand, my lads. Tho'f the bay is just under +our bowsprits, it will take a damned deal of tripping to come at +it--there's hardly any steering clear of the rocks here. But do we +muster all hands? All right, think ye? + +_1st. Sail._ All to a man----besides yourself, and a monkey----the +three land lubbers, that edged away in the morning, goes for nothing, +you know--they're all dead, may-hap, by this. + +_Mate._ Dead! you be--Why they're friends of the captain; and if not +brought safe aboard to-night, you may all chance to have a salt eel for +your supper--that's all--Moreover the young plodding spark, he with the +grave, foul weather face, there, is to man the tight little frigate, +Miss Narcissa--what d'ye call her? that is bound with us for Barbadoes. +Rot'em for not keeping under weigh, I say! But come, let's see if a +song will bring 'em too. Let's have a full chorus to the good merchant +ship, the Achilles, that's wrote by our captain. + + +SONG. + + _The Achilles, though christen'd, good ship, 'tis surmis'd,_ + _From that old man of war, great Achilles, so priz'd,_ + _Was he, like our vessel, pray fairly baptiz'd?_ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + + _Poets sung_ that _Achilles--if, now, they've an itch_ + _To sing_ this, _future ages may know which is which;_ + _And that one rode in Greece--and the other in pitch._ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + + _What tho' but a merchant ship--sure our supplies:_ + _Now your men of war's gain in a lottery lies,_ + _And how blank they all look, when they can't get a prize!_ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + + _What are all their fine names? when no rhino's behind,_ + _The Intrepid, and Lion, look sheepish you'll find;_ + _Whilst, alas! the poor Ćolus can't raise the wind!_ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + + _Then the Thunderer's dumb; out of tune the Orpheus;_ + _The Ceres has nothing at all to produce;_ + _And the Eagle I warrant you, looks like a goose._ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + +_1st. Sail._ Avast! look a-head there. Here they come, chased by a +fleet of black devils. + +_Midsh._ And the devil a _fire_ have I to give them. We han't a grain +of powder left. What must we do, lads? + +_2d. Sail._ Do? Sheer off to be sure. + +_Midsh._ [_Reluctantly._] Well, if I must, I must. [_Going to the other +side, and holloing to INKLE, &c._] Yoho, lubbers! Crowd all the sail +you can, d'ye mind me! + + [_Exeunt_ SAILORS. + +_Enter MEDIUM, running across the stage, as pursued by the Blacks._ + +_Med._ Nephew! Trudge! run--scamper! Scour--fly! Zounds, what harm did +I ever do to be hunted to death by a pack of bloodhounds? Why nephew! +Oh, confound your long sums in arithmetic! I'll take care of myself; +and if we must have any arithmetic, dot and carry one for my money. + + [_Runs off._ + +_Enter INKLE and TRUDGE, hastily._ + +_Trudge._ Oh! that ever I was born, to leave pen, ink, and powder for +this! + +_Inkle._ Trudge, how far are the sailors before us? + +_Trudge._ I'll run and see, sir, directly. + +_Inkle._ Blockhead, come here. The savages are close upon us; we shall +scarce be able to recover our party. Get behind this tuft of trees with +me; they'll pass us, and we may then recover our ship with safety. + +_Trudge._ [_Going behind._] Oh! Threadneedle-street, Thread-- + +_Inkle._ Peace. + +_Trudge._ [_Hiding._]--Needle-street. [_They hide behind trees. Natives +cross. After a long pause, INKLE looks from the trees._] + +_Inkle._ Trudge. + +_Trudge._ Sir. [_In a whisper._] + +_Inkle._ Are they all gone by? + +_Trudge._ Won't you look and see? + +_Inkle._ [_Looking round._] So all is safe at last. [_Coming forward._] +Nothing like policy in these cases; but you'd have run on, like a booby! +A tree, I fancy, you'll find, in future, the best resource in a hot +pursuit. + +_Trudge._ Oh, charming! It's a retreat for a king, sir: Mr. Medium, +however, has not got up in it; your uncle, sir, _has run on like a +booby_; and has got up with our party by this time, I take it; who are +now most likely at the shore. But what are we to do next, sir? + +_Inkle._ Reconnoitre a little, and then proceed. + +_Trudge._ Then pray, sir, proceed to reconnoitre; for the sooner the +better. + +_Inkle._ Then look out, d'ye hear, and tell me if you discover any +danger. + +_Trudge._ Y----Ye--s--Yes. + +_Inkle._ Well, is the coast clear? + +_Trudge._ Eh! Oh lord!--Clear! [_Rubbing his eyes._] Oh dear! oh dear! +the coast will soon be clear enough now, I promise you----The ship is +under sail, sir! + +_Inkle._ Confusion! my property carried off in the vessel. + +_Trudge._ All, all, sir, except me. + +_Inkle._ They may report me dead, perhaps, and dispose of my property +at the next island. [_The vessel appears under sail._] + +_Trudge._ Ah! there they go. [_A gun fired._]----That will be the last +report we shall ever hear from 'em I'm afraid.--That's as much as to +say, Good bye to ye. And here we are left--two fine, full-grown babes +in the wood! + +_Inkle._ What an ill-timed accident! Just too, when my speedy union +with Narcissa, at Barbadoes, would so much advance my interests.--Ah, +my Narcissa, I never shall forget thy last adieu.--Something must be +hit upon, and speedily; but what resource? [_Thinking._] + +_Trudge._ The old one--a tree, sir.--'Tis all we have for it now. What +would I give, now, to be perched upon a high stool, with our brown +desk squeezed into the pit of my stomach--scribbling away an old +parchment!----But all my red ink will be spilt by an old black pin of +a negro. + + +SONG. + +[Last Valentine's Day.] + + _A voyage over seas had not entered my head,_ + _Had I known but on which side to butter my bread,_ + _Heigho! sure I--for hunger must die!_ + _I've sail'd like a booby; come here in a squall,_ + _Where, alas! there's no bread to be butter'd at all!_ + _Oho! I'm a terrible booby!_ + _Oh, what a sad booby am I!_ + + _In London, what gay chop-house signs in the street!_ + _But the only sign here is of nothing to eat._ + _Heigho! that I----for hunger should die!_ + _My mutton's all lost; I'm a poor starving elf!_ + _And for all the world like a lost mutton myself._ + _Oho! I shall die a lost mutton!_ + _Oh! what a lost mutton am I!_ + + _For a neat slice of beef, I could roar like a bull;_ + _And my stomach's so empty, my heart is quite full._ + _Heigho! that I--for hunger should die!_ + _But, grave without meat, I must here meet my grave,_ + _For my bacon, I fancy, I never shall save._ + _Oho! I shall ne'er save my bacon!_ + _I can't save my bacon, not I!_ + + +_Trudge._ Hum! I was thinking----I was thinking, sir--if so many +natives could be caught, how much they might fetch at the West India +markets! + +_Inkle._ Scoundrel! is this a time to jest? + +_Trudge._ No, faith, sir! Hunger is too sharp to be jested with. As for +me, I shall starve for want of food. Now you may meet a luckier fate: +you are able to extract the square root, sir; and that's the very best +provision you can find here to live upon. But I! [_Noise at a distance._] +Mercy on us! here they come again. + +_Inkle._ Confusion! Deserted on one side, and pressed on the other, +which way shall I turn?--This cavern may prove a safe retreat to us for +the present. I'll enter, cost what it will. + +_Trudge._ Oh Lord! no, don't, don't----We shall pay too dear for our +lodging, depend on't. + +_Inkle._ This is no time for debating. You are at the mouth of it: lead +the way, Trudge. + +_Trudge._ What! go in before your honour! I know my place better, I +assure you--I might walk into more mouths than one, perhaps. [_Aside._] + +_Inkle._ Coward! then follow me. [_Noise again._] + +_Trudge._ I must, sir; I must! Ah, Trudge, Trudge! what a damned hole +are you getting into! + + [_Exeunt into a Cavern._ + + +SCENE III. + + _A cave, decorated with skins of wild beasts, feathers, &c. In the + middle of the scene, a rude kind of curtain, by way of door to an + inner apartment._ + +_Enter INKLE and TRUDGE, as from the mouth of the cavern._ + +_Inkle._ So far, at least, we have proceeded with safety. Ha! no bad +specimen of savage elegance. These ornaments would be worth something +in England.--We have little to fear here, I hope: this cave rather +bears the pleasing face of a profitable adventure. + +_Trudge._ Very likely, sir! But for a pleasing face, it has the +cursed'st ugly month I ever saw in my life. Now do, sir, make off as +fast as you can. If we once get clear of the natives' houses, we have +little to fear from the lions and leopards: for by the appearance of +their parlours, they seem to have killed all the wild beast in the +country. Now pray, do, my good master, take my advice, and run away. + +_Inkle._ Rascal! Talk again of going out, and I'll flea you alive. + +_Trudge._ That's just what I expect for coming in.--All that enter here +appear to have had their skins stript over their ears; and ours will be +kept for curiosities--We shall stand here, stuffed, for a couple of +white wonders. + +_Inkle._ This curtain seems to lead to another apartment: I'll draw it. + +_Trudge._ No, no, no, don't; don't. We may be called to account for +disturbing the company: you may get a curtain-lecture, perhaps, sir. + +_Inkle._ Peace, booby, and stand on your guard. + +_Trudge._ Oh! what will become of us! Some grim, seven foot fellow +ready to scalp us. + +_Inkle._ By heaven! a woman. + + [_As the curtain draws, YARICO and WOWSKI discovered asleep._ + +_Trudge._ A woman! [_Aside._]--[_Loud._] But let him come on; I'm +ready--dam'me, I don't fear facing the devil himself--Faith it is a +woman--fast asleep too. + +_Inkle._ And beautiful as an angel! + +_Trudge._ And egad! there seems to be a nice, little plump bit in the +corner; only she's an angel of rather a darker sort. + +_Inkle._ Hush! keep back--she wakes. [_YARICO comes forward--INKLE and +TRUDGE retire to opposite sides of the scene._] + + +SONG.--YARICO. + + _When the chace of day is done,_ + _And the shaggy lion's skin,_ + _Which for us, our warriors win,_ + _Decks our cells at set of sun;_ + _Worn with toil, with slap opprest,_ + _I press my mossy bed, and sink to rest._ + + _Then, once more, I see our train,_ + _With all our chase renew'd again:_ + _Once more 'tis day,_ + _Once more our prey_ + _Gnashes his angry teeth, and foams in vain._ + _Again, in sullen haste, he flies,_ + _Ta'en in the toil, again he lies,_ + _Again he roars--and, in my slumbers, dies._ + + +_INKLE and TRUDGE come forward._ + +_Inkle._ Our language! + +_Trudge._ Zounds, she has thrown me into a cold sweat. + +_Yar._ Hark! I heard a noise! Wowski, awake! whence can it proceed? [_She +awakes WOWSKI, and they both come forward--YARICO towards INKLE_; _WOWSKI +towards TRUDGE._] + +_Yar._ Ah! what form is this?----are you a man? + +_Inkle._ True flesh and blood, my charming heathen, I promise you. + +_Yar._ What harmony in his voice! What a shape! How fair his skin +too----[_Gazing._] + +_Trudge._ This must be a lady of quality, by her staring. + +_Yar._ Say, stranger, whence come you? + +_Inkle._ From a far distant island; driven on this coast by distress, +and deserted by my companions. + +_Yar._ And do you know the danger that surrounds you here? Our woods +are filled with beasts of prey--my countrymen too----(yet, I think they +cou'd'nt find the heart)--might kill you.----It would be a pity if you +fell in their way----I think I should weep if you came to any harm. + +_Trudge._ O ho! It's time, I see, to begin making interest with the +chamber maid. [_Takes WOWSKI apart._] + +_Inkle._ How wild and beautiful! sure there is magic in her shape, and +she has rivetted me to the place. But where shall I look for safety? +let me fly and avoid my death. + +_Yar._ Oh! no--don't depart.----But I will try to preserve you; and if +you are killed, Yarico must die too! Yet, 'tis I alone can save you; +your death is certain, without my assistance; and, indeed, indeed you +shall not want it. + +_Inkle._ My kind Yarico! what means, then, must be used for my safety? + +_Yar._ My cave must conceal you: none enter it, since my father was +slain in battle. I will bring you food by day, then lead you to our +unfrequented groves by moonlight, to listen to the nightingale. If you +should sleep, I'll watch you, and awake you when there's danger. + +_Inkle._ Generous maid! Then, to you will I owe my life; and whilst it +lasts, nothing shall part us. + +_Yar._ And shan't it, shan't it indeed? + +_Inkle._ No, my Yarico! For when an opportunity offers to return to my +country, you shall be my companion. + +_Yar._ What! cross the seas! + +_Inkle._ Yes, Help me to discover a vessel, and you shall enjoy +wonders. You shall be decked in silks, my brave maid, and have a house +drawn with horses to carry you. + +_Yar._ Nay, do not laugh at me--but is it so? + +_Inkle._ It is indeed! + +_Yar._ Oh wonder! I wish my countrywomen could see me----But won't your +warriors kill us? + +_Inkle._ No, our only danger on land is here. + +_Yar._ Then let us retire further into the cave. Come--your safety is +in my keeping. + +_Inkle._ I follow you--Yet, can you run some risk in following me? + + +DUETT. + +[O say, Bonny Lass.] + + Inkle. _O say, simple maid, have you form'd any notion_ + _Of all the rude dangers in crossing the ocean?_ + _When winds whistle shrilly, ah! won't they remind you,_ + _To sigh with regret, for the grot left behind you?_ + + Yar. _Ah! no, I could follow, and sail the world over,_ + _Nor think of my grot, when I look at my lover;_ + _The winds, which blow round us, your arms for my pillow,_ + _Will lull us to sleep, whilst we're rocked by each billow._ + + Both. _O say then my true love, we never will sunder,_ + _Nor shrink from the tempest, nor dread the big thunder:_ + _Whilst constant, we'll laugh at all changes of weather,_ + _And journey all over the world both together._ + + [Exeunt; as retiring further into the cave. + +_Manent TRUDGE and WOWSKI._ + +_Trudge._ Why, you speak English as well as I, my little Wowski. + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ Iss! and you learnt it from a strange man, that tumbled from +a big boat, many moons ago, you say? + +_Wows._ Iss--Teach me--teach good many. + +_Trudge._ Then, what the devil made them so surprized at seeing us! was +he like me? [_Wowski shakes her head._] Not so smart a body, mayhap. +Was his face, now, round and comely, and--eh! [_Stroking his chin._] +Was it like mine? + +_Wows._ Like dead leaf--brown and shrivel. + +_Trudge._ Oh, oh, an old shipwrecked sailor, I warrant. With white and +grey hair, eh, my pretty beauty spot? + +_Wows._ Iss; all white. When night come, he put it in pocket. + +_Trudge._ Oh! wore a wig. But the old boy taught you something more +than English, I believe. + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ The devil he did! What was it? + +_Wows._ Teach me put dry grass, red hot, in hollow white stick. + +_Trudge._ Aye, what was that for? + +_Wows._ Put in my mouth--go poff, poff! + +_Trudge._ Zounds! did he teach you to smoke? + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ And what became of him at last? What did your countrymen do +for the poor fellow? + +_Wows._ Eat him one day--Our chief kill him. + +_Trudge._ Mercy on us! what damned stomachs, to swallow a tough old +tar! Ah, poor Trudge! your killing comes next. + +_Wows._ No, no--not you--no--[_Running to him anxiously._] + +_Trudge._ No? why what shall I do, if I get in their paws? + +_Wows._ I fight for you! + +_Trudge._ Will you? Ecod she's a brave good-natured wench! she'll be +worth a hundred of your English wives.--Whenever they fight on their +husband's account, it's _with_ him instead of _for_ him, I fancy. But +how the plague am I to live here? + +_Wows._ I feed you--bring you kid. + + +SONG.--WOWSKI. + +[One day, I heard Mary say.] + + _White man, never go away----_ + _Tell me why need you?_ + _Stay, with your Wowski, stay:_ + _Wowski will feed you._ + _Cold moons are now coming in;_ + _Ah, don't go grieve me!_ + _I'll wrap you in leopard's skin:_ + _White man, don't leave me._ + + _And when all the sky is blue,_ + _Sun makes warm weather,_ + _I'll catch you a cockatoo,_ + _Dress you in feather._ + _When cold comes, or when 'tis hot,_ + _Ah, don't go grieve me!_ + _Poor Wowski will be forgot--_ + _White man, don't leave me!_ + + +_Trudge._ Zounds! leopard's skin for winter wear, and feathers for a +summer's suit! Ha, ha! I shall look like a walking hammer-cloth, at +Christmas, and an upright shuttlecock, in the dog days. And for all +this, if my master and I find our way to England, you shall be part of +our travelling equipage; and, when I get there, I'll give you a couple +of snug rooms, on a first floor, and visit you every evening, as soon +as I come from the counting-house. Do you like it? + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ Damme, what a flashy fellow I shall seem in the city! I'll +get her a _white_ boy to bring up the tea-kettle. Then I'll teach you +to write and dress hair. + +_Wows._ You great man in your country? + +_Trudge._ Oh yes, a very great man. I'm head clerk of the counting-house, +and first valet-de-chambre of the dressing-room. I pounce parchments, +powder hair, black shoes, ink paper, shave beards, and mend pens. But +hold! I had forgot one material point--you ar'n't married, I hope? + +_Wows._ No: you be my chum-chum! + +_Trudge._ So I will. It's best, however, to be sure of her being +single; for Indian husbands are not quite so complaisant as English +ones, and the vulgar dogs might think of looking a little after their +spouses. But you have had a lover or two in your time; eh, Wowski? + +_Wows._ Oh, iss--great many--I tell you. + + +DUETT. + + Wows. _Wampum, Swampum, Yanko, Lanko, Nanko, Pownatowski,_ + _Black men--plenty--twenty--fight for me,_ + _White man, woo you true?_ + + Trudge. _Who?_ + + Wows. _You._ + + Trudge. _Yes, pretty little Wowski!_ + + Wows. _Then I leave all, and follow thee._ + + Trudge. _Oh then turn about, my little tawny tight one!_ + _Don't you like me?_ + + Wows. _Iss, you're like the snow!_ + _If you slight one----_ + + Trudge. _Never, not for any white one;_ + _You are beautiful as any sloe._ + + Wows. _Wars, jars, scars, can't expose ye,_ + _In our grot----_ + + Trudge. _So snug and cosey!_ + + Wows. _Flowers, neatly_ + _Pick'd, shall sweetly_ + _Make your bed._ + + Trudge. _Coying, toying,_ + _With a rosy_ + _Posey,_ + _When I'm dosey,_ + _Bear-skin nightcaps too shall warm my head._ + + Both. _Bearskin nightcaps, &c. &c._ + + + + +ACT THE SECOND. + + +SCENE I. + + _The Quay at Barbadoes, with an Inn upon it. People employed in + unlading vessels, carrying bales of goods, &c._ + +_Enter several PLANTERS._ + +_1st Plant._ I saw her this morning, gentlemen, you may depend on't. My +telescope never fails me. I popp'd upon her as I was taking a peep from +my balcony. A brave tight ship, I tell you, bearing down directly for +Barbadoes here. + +_2d Plant._ Ods, my life! rare news! We have not had a vessel arrive in +our harbour these six weeks. + +_3d Plant._ And the last brought only Madam Narcissa, our Governor's +daughter, from England; with a parcel of lazy, idle, white folks about +her. Such cargoes will never do for our trade, neighbour. + +_2d Plant._ No, no; we want slaves. A terrible dearth of 'em in Barbadoes, +lately! But your dingy passengers for my money. Give me a vessel like a +collier, where all the lading tumbles out as black as my hat. But are you +sure, now, you ar'n't mistaken? [_To 1st Planter._] + +_1st Plant._ Mistaken! 'sbud, do you doubt my glass? I can discover a +gull by it six leagues off: I could see every thing as plain as if I +was on board. + +_2d Plant._ Indeed! and what were her colours? + +_1st Plant._ Um! why English----or Dutch----or French----I don't +exactly remember. + +_2d Plant._ What were the sailors aboard? + +_1st Plant._ Eh! why they were English too----or Dutch----or +French----I can't perfectly recollect. + +_2d Plant._ Your glass, neighbour, is a little like a glass too much: +it makes you forget every thing you ought to remember. [_Cry without_, +"A sail, a sail!"] + +_1st Plant._ Egad, but I'm right though. Now, gentlemen! + +_All._ Aye, aye; the devil take the hindmost. + + [_Exeunt hastily._ + +_Enter NARCISSA and PATTY._ + + +SONG. + + _Freshly now the breeze is blowing,_ + _As yon ship at anchor rides;_ + _Sullen waves, incessant flowing,_ + _Rudely dash against the sides._ + _So my heart, its course impéded,_ + _Beats in my perturbed breast;_ + _Doubts, like waves by waves succeeded,_ + _Rise, and still deny it rest._ + + +_Patty._ Well, ma'am, as I was saying---- + +_Nar._ Well, say no more of what you were saying--Sure, Patty, you +forget where you are; a little caution will be necessary now, I think. + +_Patty._ Lord, madam, how is it possible to help talking? We are in +Barbadoes here, to be sure--but then, ma'am, one may let out a little +in a private morning's walk by ourselves. + +_Nar._ Nay, it's the same thing with you in doors. + +_Patty._ I never blab, ma'am, never, as I hope for a gown. + +_Nar._ And your never blabbing, as you call it, depends chiefly on that +hope, I believe. + +_Patty._ I have told the story of our voyage, indeed, to old Guzzle, +the butler. + +_Nar._ And thus you lead him to imagine I am but little inclined to the +match. + +_Patty._ Lord, ma'am, how could that be? Why I never said a word about +Captain Campley. + +_Nar._ Hush! hush! for heaven's sake. + +_Patty._ Aye! there it is now. But if our voyage from England was so +pleasant, it wasn't owing to Mr. Inkle, I'm certain. He didn't play the +fiddle in our cabin, and dance on the deck, and come languishing with a +glass of warm water in his hand, when we were sea-sick. Ah, ma'am, that +water warm'd your heart, I'm confident. Mr. Inkle! No, no; Captain +Cam---- + +_Nar._ There is no end to this! Remember, Patty, keep your secrecy, or +you entirely lose my favour. + +_Patty._ Never fear me, ma'am. But if somebody I know is not acquainted +with the Governor, there's such a thing as dancing at balls, and +squeezing hands when you lead up, and squeezing them again when you +cast down. I'm as close as a patch box. Mum's the word, ma'am, I +promise you. + + [_Exit._ + +_Nar._ How awkward is my present situation! Promised to one, who, +perhaps, may never again be heard of; and who, I am sure, if he ever +appears to claim me, will do it merely on the score of interest--pressed +too by another, who has already, I fear, too much interest in my +heart--what can I do? What plan can I follow? + +_Enter CAMPLEY._ + +_Camp._ Follow my advice, Narcissa, by all means. Enlist with me under +the best banners in the world. General Hymen for my money! little +Cupid's his drummer: he has been beating a round rub-a-dub on our +hearts, and we have only to obey the word of command, fall into the +ranks of matrimony, and march through life together. + +_Nar._ Then consider our situation. + +_Camp._ That has been duly considered. In short, the case stands +exactly thus--your intended spouse is all for money; I am all for love. +He is a rich rogue; I am rather a poor honest fellow. He would pocket +your fortune; I will take you without a fortune in your pocket. + +_Nar._ Oh! I am sensible of the favour, most gallant Captain Campley; +and my father, no doubt, will be very much obliged to you. + +_Camp._ Aye, there's the devil of it! Sir Christopher Curry's confounded +good character knocks me up at once. Yet I am not acquainted with him +neither; not known to him even by sight; being here only as a private +gentleman, on a visit to my old relation, out of regimentals, and so +forth; and not introduced to the Governor, as other officers of the +place. But then, the report of his hospitality--his odd, blunt, whimsical +friendship--his whole behaviour-- + +_Nar._ All stare you in the face; eh, Campley? + +_Camp._ They do, till they put me out of countenance. + +_Nar._ What signifies talking to _me_, when you have such opposition +from others? Why hover about the city, instead of boldly attacking the +guard? Wheel about, captain! face the enemy! March! Charge! Rout +'em!--Drive 'em before you, and then-- + +_Camp._ And then-- + +_Nar._ Lud ha' mercy on the poor city! + +_Enter PATTY, hastily._ + +_Patty._ Oh lud, ma'am, I'm frightened out of my wits! sure as I'm +alive, ma'am, Mr. Inkle is not dead; I saw his man, ma'am, just now, +coming ashore in a boat, with other passengers, from the vessel that's +come to the island. + + [_Exit._ + +_Nar._ Then one way or other I must determine.--[_To CAMPLEY._] Look'ye, +Mr. Campley, something has happened which makes me wave ceremonies.--If +you mean to apply to my father, remember, that delays are dangerous. + +_Camp._ Indeed! + +_Nar._ I mayn't be always in the same mind, you know. [_Smiling._] + + [_Exit._ + +_Camp._ Nay, then--Gad, I'm almost afraid too--but living in this state +of doubt is torment. I'll e'en put a good face on the matter; cock my +hat; make my bow; and try to reason the Governor into compliance. Faint +heart never won a fair lady. + + +SONG. + + _Why should I vain fears discover,_ + _Prove a dying, sighing swain?_ + _Why turn shilly-shally lover,_ + _Only to prolong my pain?_ + + _When we woo the dear enslaver,_ + _Boldly ask, and she will grant;_ + _How should we obtain a favour,_ + _But by telling what we want?_ + + +_Enter TRUDGE and WOWSKI, (as from the ship), with a dirty runner to one +of the inns._ + +_Run._ This way, sir; if you will let me recommend---- + +_Trudge._ Come along, Wows! Take care of your furs, and your feathers, +my girl! + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ That's right.--Somebody might steal 'em, perhaps. + +_Wows._ Steal!--What that? + +_Trudge._ Oh Lord! see what one loses by not being born in a christian +country. + +_Run._ If you would, sir, but mention to your master, the house that +belongs to my master; the best accommodations on the quay.-- + +_Trudge._ What's your sign, my lad? + +_Run._ The Crown, sir.--Here it is. + +_Trudge._ Well, get us a room for half an hour, and we'll come: and +harkee! let it be light and airy, d'ye hear? My master has been used to +your open apartments lately. + +_Run._ Depend on it.--Much obliged to you, sir. + + [_Exit._ + +_Wows._ Who be that fine man? He great prince? + +_Trudge._ A prince--Ha! ha!----No, not quite a prince--but he belongs +to the Crown. But how do you like this, Wows? Isn't it fine? + +_Wows._ Wonder! + +_Trudge._ Fine men, eh? + +_Wows._ Iss! all white; like you. + +_Trudge._ Yes, all the fine men are like me. As different from your +people as powder and ink, or paper and blacking. + +_Wows._ And fine lady--Face like snow. + +_Trudge._ What! the fine lady's complexions? Oh, yes, exactly; for too +much heat very often dissolves 'em! Then their dress, too. + +_Wows._ Your countrymen dress so? + +_Trudge._ Better, better a great deal. Why, a young flashy Englishman +will sometimes carry a whole fortune on his back. But did you mind the +women? All here--and there; [_Pointing before and behind._] they have it +all from us in England.--And then the fine things they carry on their +heads, Wowski. + +_Wows._ Iss. One lady carry good fish----so fine, she call every body +to look at her. + +_Trudge._ Pshaw! an old woman bawling flounders. But the fine girls we +meet, here, on the quay--so round and so plump! + +_Wows._ You not love me now? + +_Trudge._ Not love you! Zounds, have not I given you proofs? + +_Wows._ Iss. Great many: but now you get here, you forget poor Wowski! + +_Trudge._ Not I. I'll stick to you like wax. + +_Wows._ Ah! I fear! What make you love me now? + +_Trudge._ Gratitude, to be sure. + +_Wows._ What that? + +_Trudge._ Ha! this it is, now, to live without education. The poor dull +devils of her country are all in the practice of gratitude, without +finding out what it means; while we can tell the meaning of it, with +little or no practice at all.--Lord, Lord, what a fine advantage +christian learning is! Hark'ee, Wows! + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ Now we've accomplished our landing, I'll accomplish you. You +remember the instructions I gave you on the voyage? + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ Let's see now--What are you to do, when I introduce you to +the nobility, gentry, and others--of my acquaintance? + +_Wows._ Make believe sit down; then get up. + +_Trudge._ Let me see you do it. [_She makes a low courtesy._] Very +well! and how are you to recommend yourself, when you have nothing to +say, amongst all our great friends? + +_Wows._ Grin--show my teeth. + +_Trudge._ Right! they'll think you've lived with people of fashion. But +suppose you meet an old shabby friend in misfortune, that you don't +wish to be seen speak to--what would you do? + +_Wows._ Look blind--not see him. + +_Trudge._ Why would you do that? + +_Wows._ 'Cause I can't see good friend in distress. + +_Trudge._ That's a good girl! and I wish every body could boast of so +kind a motive for such cursed cruel behaviour.--Lord! how some of your +flashy bankers' clerks have _cut_ me in Threadneedle street.--But come, +though we have got among fine folks, here, in an English settlement, I +won't be ashamed of my old acquaintance: yet, for my own part, I should +not be sorry, now, to see my old friend with a new face.--Odsbobs! I +see Mr. Inkle--Go in, Wows; call for what you like best. + +_Wows._ Then I call for you--ah! I fear I not see you often now. But +you come soon---- + + +SONG. + + _Remember when we walked alone,_ + _And heard, so gruff, the lion growl:_ + _And when the moon so bright it shone,_ + _We saw the wolf look up and howl;_ + _I led you well, safe to our cell,_ + _While tremblingly,_ + _You said to me,_ + _--And kiss'd so sweet--dear Wowski tell,_ + _How could I live without ye?_ + + _But now you come across the sea,_ + _And tell me here no monsters roar;_ + _You'll walk alone, and leave poor me,_ + _When wolves, to fright you, howl no more._ + _But ah! think well on our old cell,_ + _Where tremblingly,_ + _You kiss'd poor me--_ + _Perhaps you'll say--dear Wowski tell,_ + _How can I live without ye?_ + + + [_Exit WOWSKI._ + +_Trudge._ Who have we here? + +_Enter FIRST PLANTER._ + +_Plant._ Hark'ee, young man! Is that young Indian of yours going to our +market? + +_Trudge._ Not she--she never went to market in all her life. + +_Plant._ I mean, is she for our sale of slaves? Our black fair? + +_Trudge._ A black fair, ha! ha! ha! You hold it on a brown green, I +suppose. + +_Plant._ She's your slave, I take it? + +_Trudge._ Yes; and I'm her humble servant, I take it. + +_Plant._ Aye, aye, natural enough at sea.--But at how much do you value +her? + +_Trudge._ Just as much as she has saved me--My own life. + +_Plant._ Pshaw! you mean to sell her? + +_Trudge._ [_Staring._] Zounds! what a devil of a fellow! Sell Wows!--my +poor, dear, dingy, wife! + +_Plant._ Come, come, I've heard your story from the ship.--Don't let's +haggle; I'll bid as fair as any trader amongst us. But no tricks upon +travellers, young man, to raise your price.----Your wife, indeed! Why +she's no christian! + +_Trudge._ No; but I am; so I shall do as I'd be done by: and, if you +were a good one yourself, you'd know, that fellow-feeling for a poor +body, who wants your help, is the noblest mark of our religion.--I +wou'dn't be articled clerk to such a fellow for the world. + +_Plant._ Hey-day! the booby's in love with her! Why, sure, friend, you +would not live here with a black? + +_Trudge._ Plague on't; there it is. I shall be laughed out of my +honesty, here.--But you may be jogging, friend; I may feel a little +queer, perhaps, at showing her face--but, dam me, if ever I do any +thing to make me asham'd of showing my own. + +_Plant._ Why, I tell you, her very complexion---- + +_Trudge._ Rot her complexion--I'll tell you what, Mr. _Fair-trader_, if +your head and heart were to change places, I've a notion you'd be as +black in the face as an ink-bottle. + +_Plant._ Pshaw! the fellow's a fool--a rude rascal--he ought to be sent +back to the savages again. He's not fit to live among us christians. + + [_Exit PLANTER._ + +_Trudge._ Oh, here comes my master, at last. + +_Enter INKLE, and a second PLANTER._ + +_Inkle._ Nay, sir, I understand your customs well; your Indian markets +are not unknown to me. + +_2d Plant._ And, as you seem to understand business, I need not tell +you, that dispatch is the soul of it. Her name you say is-- + +_Inkle._ Yarico: but urge this no more, I beg you; I must not listen +to it: for, to speak freely, her anxious care of me demands, that +here,--though here it may seem strange--I should avow my love for her. + +_Plant._ Lord help you for a merchant!--It's the first time I ever +heard a trader talk of love; except, indeed, the love of trade, and the +love of the _Sweet Molly_, my ship. + +_Inkle._ Then, sir, you cannot feel my situation. + +_Plant._ Oh yes, I can! we have a hundred such cases just after a +voyage; but they never last long on land. It's amazing how constant +a young man is in a ship! But, in two words, will you dispose of her, +or no? + +_Inkle._ In two words, then, meet me here at noon, and we'll speak +further on this subject: and lest you think I trifle with your +business, hear why I wish this pause. Chance threw me, on my passage to +your island, among a savage people. Deserted,--defenceless,--cut off +from companions,--my life at stake--to this young creature I owe my +preservation;--she found me, like a dying bough, torn from its kindred +branches; which, as it drooped, she moistened with her tears. + +_Plant._ Nay, nay, talk like a man of this world. + +_Inkle._ Your patience.--And yet your interruption goes to my present +feelings; for on our sail to this your island--the thoughts of time +mispent--doubt--fears--for call it what you will--have much perplexed +me; and as your spires arose, reflections still rose with them; for +here, sir, lie my interests, great connexions, and other weighty +matters--which now I need not mention---- + +_Plant._ But which her presence here will mar. + +_Inkle._ Even so--And yet the gratitude I owe her-- + +_Plant._ Pshaw! So because she preserved your life, your gratitude is +to make you give up all you have to live upon. + +_Inkle._ Why, in that light indeed--This never struck me yet, I'll +think on't. + +_Plant._ Aye, aye, do so--Why, what return can the wench wish more than +taking her from a wild, idle, savage people, and providing for her, +here, with reputable hard work, in a genteel, polished, tender, +christian country? + +_Inkle._ Well, sir, at noon---- + +_Plant._ I'll meet you--but remember, young gentleman, you must get her +off your hands--you must, indeed.--I shall have her a bargain, I see +that--your servant!--Zounds, how late it is--but never be put out of +your way for a woman--I must run--my wife will play the devil with me +for keeping breakfast. + + [_Exit._ + +_Inkle._ Trudge. + +_Trudge._ Sir! + +_Inkle._ Have you provided a proper apartment? + +_Trudge._ Yes, sir, at the Crown here; a neat, spruce room they tell +me. You have not seen such a convenient lodging this good while, I +believe. + +_Inkle._ Are there no better inns in the town? + +_Trudge._ Um----Why there is the Lion, I hear, and the Bear, and the +Boar--but we saw them at the door of all our late lodgings, and found +but bad accommodations within, sir. + +_Inkle._ Well, run to the end of the quay, and conduct Yarico hither. +The road is straight before you: you can't miss it. + +_Trudge._ Very well, sir. What a fine thing it is to turn one's back on +a master, without running into a wolf's belly! One can follow one's +nose on a message here, and be sure it won't be bit off by the way. + + [_Exit._ + +_Inkle._ Let me reflect a little. Part with her!--My interest, honour, +engagements to Narcissa, all demand it. My father's precepts too--I can +remember, when I was a boy, what pains he took to mould me.--School'd +me from morn to night--and still the burden of his song was--Prudence! +Prudence! Thomas, and you'll rise. His maxims rooted in my heart, and +as I grew--_they_ grew; till I was reckoned, among our friends, a +steady, sober, solid, good young man; and all the neighbours call'd +me _the prudent Mr. Thomas_. And shall I now, at once, kick down the +character which I have raised so warily?--Part with her--sell her!--The +thought once struck me in our cabin, as she lay sleeping by me; but, in +her slumbers, she passed her arm around me, murmured a blessing on my +name, and broke my meditations. + +_Enter YARICO and TRUDGE._ + +_Yar._ My love! + +_Trudge._ I have been showing her all the wigs and bales of goods we +met on the quay, sir. + +_Yar._ Oh! I have feasted my eyes on wonders. + +_Trudge._ And I'll go feast on a slice of beef, in the inn, here. + + [_Exit._ + +_Yar._ My mind has been so busy, that I almost forgot even you. I wish +you had stayed with me--You would have seen such sights! + +_Inkle._ Those sights have become familiar to me, Yarico. + +_Yar._ And yet I wish they were not--You might partake my pleasures--but +now again, methinks, I will not wish so--for, with too much gazing, you +might neglect poor _Yarico_. + +_Inkle._ Nay, nay, my care is still for you. + +_Yar._ I am sure it is: and if I thought it was not, I would tell you +tales about our poor old grot--bid you remember our palm-tree near the +brook, where in the shade you often stretched yourself, while I would +take your head upon my lap, and sing my love to sleep. I know you'll +love me then. + + +SONG. + + _Our grotto was the sweetest place!_ + _The bending boughs, with fragrance blowing,_ + _Would check the brook's impetuous pace,_ + _Which murmur'd to be stopp'd from flowing._ + _'Twas there we met, and gaz'd our fill:_ + _Ah! think on this, and love me still._ + + _'Twas then my bosom first knew fear,_ + _--Fear to an Indian maid a stranger--_ + _The war-song, arrows, hatchet, spear,_ + _All warn'd me of my lover's danger._ + _For him did cares my bosom fill:--_ + _Ah! think on this, and love me still._ + + _For him, by day, with care conceal'd,_ + _To search for food I climb'd the mountain;_ + _And when the night no form reveal'd,_ + _Jocund we sought the bubbling fountain._ + _Then, then would joy my bosom fill;_ + _Ah! think on this and love me still._ + + [_Exeunt._ + + +SCENE II. + + _An Apartment in the House of SIR CHRISTOPHER CURRY._ + +_Enter SIR CHRISTOPHER and MEDIUM._ + +_Sir Chr._ I tell you, old Medium, you are all wrong. Plague on your +doubts! Inkle _shall_ have my Narcissa. Poor fellow! I dare say he's +finely chagrined at this temporary parting--Eat up with the blue +devils, I warrant. + +_Med._ Eat up by the black devils, I warrant; for I left him in hellish +hungry company. + +_Sir Chr._ Pshaw! he'll arrive with the next vessel, depend +on't--besides, have not I had this in view ever since they were +children? I must and will have it so, I tell you. Is not it, as it +were, a marriage made above? They _shall_ meet, I'm positive. + +_Med._ Shall they? Then they must meet where the marriage was made; for +hang me, if I think it will ever happen below. + +_Sir Chr._ Ha!--and if that is the case--hang me, if I think you'll +ever be at the celebration of it. + +_Med._ Yet, let me tell you, Sir Christopher Curry, my character is as +unsullied as a sheet of white paper. + +_Sir Chr._ Well said, old fool's-cap! and it's as mere a blank as a +sheet of white paper. You are honest, old Medium, by comparison, just +as a fellow sentenced to transportation is happier than his companion +condemned to the gallows--Very worthy, because you are no rogue; tender +hearted, because you never go to fires and executions; and an affectionate +father and husband, because you never pinch your children, or kick your +wife out of bed. + +_Med._ And that, as the world goes, is more than every man can say for +himself. Yet, since you force me to speak my positive qualities--but, +no matter,--you remember me in London; didn't I, as member of the +Humane Society, bring a man out of the New River, who, it was +afterwards found, had done me an injury? + +_Sir Chr._ And, dam'me, if I would not kick any man into the New River +that had done me an injury. There's the difference of our honesty. +Oons! if you want to be an honest fellow, act from the impulse of +nature. Why, you have no more gall than a pigeon. + +_Med._ And you have as much gall as a turkey cock, and are as hot into +the bargain--You're always so hasty; among the hodge-podge of your +foibles, passion is always predominant. + +_Sir Chr._ So much the better.----Foibles, quotha? foibles are foils +that give additional lustre to the gems of virtue. You have not so many +foils as I, perhaps. + +_Med._ And, what's more, I don't want 'em, Sir Christopher, I thank you. + +_Sir Chr._ Very true; for the devil a gem have you to set off with 'em. + +_Med._ Well, well; I never mention errors; that, I flatter myself, is +no disagreeable quality.--It don't become me to say you are hot. + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sblood! but it does become you: it becomes every man, +especially an Englishman, to speak the dictates of his heart. + +_Enter SERVANT._ + +_Serv._ An English vessel, sir, just arrived in the harbour. + +_Sir Chr._ A vessel! Od's my life!----Now for the news--If it is but as +I hope--Any dispatches? + +_Serv._ This letter, sir, brought by a sailor from the quay. + + [_Exit._ + +_Sir Chr._ [_Opening the letter_] Huzza! here it is. He's safe--safe +and sound at Barbadoes. [Reading]---- + + _Sir, + My master, Mr. Inkle, is just arrived in your harbour_, + +Here, read, read! old Medium-- + +_Med._ [Reading.] Um'-- + + _Your harbour;--we were taken up by an English vessel, on the + 14th ult^{o}. He only waits till I have puffed his hair, to pay + his respects to you, and Miss Narcissa: In the mean time, he has + ordered me to brush up this letter for your honour, from_ + + _Your humble Servant, to command_, + TIMOTHY TRUDGE. + + +_Sir Chr._ Hey day! Here's a style! the voyage has jumbled the fellow's +brains out of their places; the water has made his head turn round. But +no matter; mine turns round, too. I'll go and prepare Narcissa directly; +they shall be married slap-dash, as soon as he comes from the quay. From +Neptune to Hymen: from the hammock to the bridal bed--Ha! old boy! + +_Med._ Well, well; don't flurry yourself--you're so hot! + +_Sir Chr._ Hot! blood, ar'n't I in the West Indies? Ar'n't I governor +of Barbadoes? He shall have her as soon as he sets his foot on shore. +"But, plague on't, he's so slow."--She shall rise to him like Venus out +of the sea. His hair puffed? He ought to have been puffing, here, out +of breath, by this time. + +_Med._ Very true; but Venus's husband is always supposed to be lame, +you know, Sir Christopher. + +_Sir Chr._ Well, now do, my good fellow, run down to the shore, and see +what detains him. + + [_Hurrying him off._ + +_Med._ Well, well; I will, I will. + + [_Exit._ + +_Sir Chr._ In the mean time I'll get ready Narcissa, and all shall be +concluded in a second. My heart's set upon it.--Poor fellow! after all +his rumbles, and tumbles, and jumbles, and fits of despair--I shall be +rejoiced to see him. I have not seen him since he was that high.--But, +zounds! he's so tardy! + +_Enter SERVANT._ + +_Serv._ A strange gentleman, sir, come from the quay, desires to see you. + +_Sir Chr._ From the quay? Od's my life!----'Tis he--'Tis Inkle! Show +him up directly. + + [_Exit Servant._ + +The rogue is expeditious after all.--I'm so happy. + +_Enter CAMPLEY._ + +My dear fellow! [_Shakes hands._] I'm rejoiced to see you. Welcome; +welcome here, with all my soul! + +_Camp._ This reception, Sir Christopher, is beyond my warmest +wishes--Unknown to you---- + +_Sir Chr._ Aye, aye; we shall be better acquainted by and by. Well, and +how, eh! tell me!--But old Medium and I have talked over your affair a +hundred times a day, ever since Narcissa arrived. + +_Camp._ You surprise me! Are you then really acquainted with the whole +affair? + +_Sir Chr._ Every tittle. + +_Camp._ And, can you, sir, pardon what is past?-- + +_Sir Chr._ Pooh! how could you help it? + +_Camp._ Very true--sailing in the same ship--and--But when you consider +the past state of my mind----the black prospect before me.-- + +_Sir Chr._ Ha! ha! Black enough, I dare say. + +_Camp._ The difficulty I have felt in bringing myself face to face to you. + +_Sir Chr._ That I am convinced of--but I knew you would come the first +opportunity. + +_Camp._ Very true: yet the distance between the Governor of Barbadoes +and myself. [_Bowing._] + +_Sir Chr._ Yes--a devilish way asunder. + +_Camp._ Granted, sir: which has distressed me with the cruellest doubts +as to our meeting. + +_Sir Chr._ It was a toss up. + +_Camp._ The old gentleman seems devilish kind.--Now to soften him. +[_Aside._] Perhaps, sir, in your younger days, you may have been in the +same situation yourself. + +_Sir Chr._ Who? I! 'sblood! no, never in my life. + +_Camp._ I wish you had, with all my soul, Sir Christopher. + +_Sir Chr._ Upon my soul, Sir, I am very much obliged to you. [_Bowing._] + +_Camp._ As what I now mention might have greater weight with you. + +_Sir Chr._ Pooh! pr'ythee! I tell you I pitied you from the bottom of +my heart. + +_Camp._ Indeed! if, with your leave, I may still venture to mention +Miss Narcissa-- + +_Sir Chr._ An impatient, sensible young dog! like me to a hair! Set +your heart at rest, my boy. She's yours; yours before to-morrow morning. + +_Camp._ Amazement! I can scarce believe my senses. + +_Sir Chr._ Zounds! you ought to be out of your senses: but dispatch--make +short work of it, ever while you live, my boy. Here she is. + +_Enter NARCISSA and PATTY._ + +Here girl: here's your swain. + + [_To NAR._ + +_Camp._ I just parted with my Narcissa, on the quay, sir. + +_Sir Chr._ Did you! Ah, sly dog----had a meeting before you came to the +old gentleman.--But here--Take him, and make much of him--and, for fear +of further separations, you shall e'en be tacked together directly. +What say you, girl? + +_Camp._ Will my Narcissa consent to my happiness? + +_Nar._ I always obey my father's commands, with pleasure, sir. + +_Sir Chr._ Od! I'm so happy, I hardly know which way to turn; but we'll +have the carriage directly; drive down to the quay; trundle old Spintext +into church, and hey for matrimony! + +_Camp._ With all my heart, Sir Christopher; the sooner the better. + + +SIR CHRISTOPHER, CAMPLEY, NARCISSA, PATTY. + + Sir Chr. _Your Colinettes, and Arriettes,_ + _Your Damons of the grove,_ + _Who like fallals, and pastorals,_ + _Waste years in love;_ + _But modern folks know better jokes,_ + _And, courting once begun,_ + _To church they hop at once--and pop--_ + _Egad, all's done!_ + + All. _In life we prance a country dance,_ + _Where every couple stands;_ + _Their partners set--a while curvet--_ + _But soon join hands._ + + Nar. _When at our feet, so trim and neat,_ + _The powder'd lover sues,_ + _He vows he dies, the lady sighs,_ + _But can't refuse._ + _Ah! how can she unmov'd e'er see_ + _Her swain his death incur?_ + _If once the squire is seen expire,_ + _He lives with her._ + + All. _In life, &c. &c._ + + Patty. _When John and Bet are fairly met,_ + _John boldly tries his luck;_ + _He steals a buss, without more fuss,_ + _The bargain's struck._ + _Whilst things below are going so,_ + _Is Betty pray to blame?_ + _Who knows up stairs, her mistress fares_ + _Just, just the same._ + + All. _In life we prance, &c. &c._ + + [Exeunt. + + + + +ACT THE THIRD. + + +SCENE I. + + _The Quay._ + +_Enter PATTY._ + +_Patty._ Mercy on us! what a walk I have had of it! Well, matters go on +swimmingly at the Governor's--The old gentleman has ordered the carriage, +and the young couple will be whisked here, to church, in a quarter of an +hour. My business is to prevent young sobersides, young Inkle, from +appearing, to interrupt the ceremony.--Ha! here's the Crown, where I +hear he is housed: So now to find Trudge, and trump up a story, in the +true style of a chambermaid. [_Goes into the house._] [_PATTY within._] +I tell you it don't signify, and I will come up. [_TRUDGE within._] But +it does signify, and you can't come up. + +_Re-enter PATTY with TRUDGE._ + +_Patty._ You had better say at once, I shan't. + +_Trudge._ Well then, you shan't. + +_Patty._ Savage! Pretty behaviour you have picked up amongst the +Hottypots! Your London civility, like London itself, will soon be lost +in smoke, Mr. Trudge: and the politeness you have studied so long in +Threadneedle-street, blotted out by the blacks you have been living +with. + +_Trudge._ No such thing; I practised my politeness all the while I was +in the woods. Our very lodging taught me good manners; for I could +never bring myself to go into it without bowing. + +_Patty._ Don't tell me! A mighty civil reception you give a body, +truly, after a six weeks parting. + +_Trudge._ Gad, you're right; I am a little out here, to be sure. +[_Kisses her._] Well, how do you do? + +_Patty._ Pshaw, fellow! I want none of your kisses. + +_Trudge._ Oh! very well--I'll take it again. [_Offers to kiss her._] + +_Patty._ Be quiet. I want to see Mr. Inkle: I have a message to him +from Miss Narcissa. I shall get a sight of him, now, I believe. + +_Trudge._ May be not. He's a little busy at present. + +_Patty._ Busy--ha! Plodding! What he's at his multiplication table again? + +_Trudge._ Very likely; so it would be a pity to interrupt him, you know. + +_Patty._ Certainly; and the whole of my business was to prevent his +hurrying himself--Tell him, we shan't be ready to receive him, at the +Governor's, till to-morrow, d'ye hear? + +_Trudge._ No? + +_Patty._ No. Things are not prepared. The place isn't in order; and the +servants have not had proper notice of the arrival. Sir Christopher +intends Mr. Inkle, you know, for his son-in-law, and must receive him +in public form, (which can't be till to-morrow morning) for the honour +of his governorship: why the whole island will ring of it. + +_Trudge._ The devil it will! + +_Patty._ Yes; they've talked of nothing but my mistress's beauty and +fortune for these six weeks. Then he'll be introduced to the bride, you +know. + +_Trudge._ O, my poor master! + +_Patty._ Then a breakfast; then a procession; then--if nothing happens +to prevent it, he'll get into church, and be married in a crack. + +_Trudge._ Then he'll get into a damn'd scrape, in a crack. + +_Patty._ Hey-day! a scrape! How! + +_Trudge._ Nothing, nothing----It must out----Patty! + +_Patty._ Well! + +_Trudge._ Can you keep a secret? + +_Patty._ Try me. + +_Trudge._ Then [_Whispering._] My master keeps a girl. + +_Patty._ Oh, monstrous! another woman? + +_Trudge._ As sure as one and one make two. + +_Patty._ [_Aside._] Rare news for my mistress!--Why I can hardly believe +it: the grave, sly, steady, sober Mr. Inkle, do such a thing! + +_Trudge._ Pooh! it's always your sly, sober fellows, that go the most +after the girls. + +_Patty._ Well; I should sooner suspect _you_. + +_Trudge._ Me? Oh Lord! he! he!--Do you think any smart, tight, little, +black-eyed wench, would be struck with my figure? [_Conceitedly._] + +_Patty._ Pshaw! never mind your figure. Tell me how it happened? + +_Trudge._ You shall hear: when the ship left us ashore, my master +turned as pale as a sheet of paper. It isn't every body that's blest +with courage, Patty. + +_Patty._ True. + +_Trudge._ However, I bid him cheer up; told him, to stick to my elbow: +took the lead, and began our march. + +_Patty._ Well? + +_Trudge._ We hadn't gone far, when a damn'd one-eyed black boar, that +grinned like a devil, came down the hill in jog trot! My Master melted +as fast as a pot of pomatum! + +_Patty._ Mercy on us! + +_Trudge._ But what does I do, but whips out my desk knife, that I used +to cut the quills with at home; met the monster, and slit up his throat +like a pen--The boar bled like a pig. + +_Patty._ Lord! Trudge, what a great traveller you are! + +_Trudge._ Yes; I remember we fed on the flitch for a week. + +_Patty._ Well, well; but the lady. + +_Trudge._ The lady! Oh, true. By and by we came to a cave--a large +hollow room, under ground, like a warehouse in the Adelphi.--Well; +there we were half an hour, before I could get him to go in; there's no +accounting for fear, you know. At last, in we went, to a place hung round +with skins, as it might be a furrier's shop, and there was a fine lady, +snoring on a bow and arrows. + +_Patty._ What, all alone? + +_Trudge._ Eh!--No--no.--Hum--She had a young lion, by way of a lap-dog. + +_Patty._ Gemini; what did you do? + +_Trudge._ Gave her a jog, and she opened her eyes--she struck my master +immediately. + +_Patty._ Mercy on us! with what? + +_Trudge._ With her beauty, you ninny, to be sure: and they soon brought +matters to bear. The wolves witnessed the contract--I gave her away--The +crows croaked amen; and we had board and lodging for nothing. + +_Patty._ And this is she he has brought to Barbadoes? + +_Trudge._ The same. + +_Patty._ Well; and tell me, Trudge;--she's pretty, you say--Is she fair +or brown? or---- + +_Trudge._ Um! she's a good comely copper. + +_Patty._ How! a tawny? + +_Trudge._ Yes, quite dark; but very elegant; like a Wedgwood tea-pot. + +_Patty._ Oh! the monster! the filthy fellow! Live with a black-a-moor! + +_Trudge._ Why, there's no great harm in't, I hope? + +_Patty._ Faugh! I wou'dn't let him kiss me for the world: he'd make my +face all smutty. + +_Trudge._ Zounds! you are mighty nice all of a sudden; but I'd have you +to know, Madam Patty, that Black-a-moor ladies, as you call 'em, are +some of the very few whose complexions never rub off! 'Sbud, if they +did, Wows and I should have changed faces by this time--But mum; not a +word for your life. + +_Patty._ Not I! except to the Governor and family. [_Aside._] But I +must run--and, remember, Trudge, if your master has made a mistake +here, he has himself to thank for his pains. + + [_Exit PATTY._ + +_Trudge._ Pshaw! these girls are so plaguy proud of their white and +red! but I won't be shamed out of Wows, that's flat.-- + +_Enter WOWSKI._ + +Ah! Wows, I'm going to leave you. + +_Wows._ For what you leave me? + +_Trudge._ Master says I must. + +_Wows._ Ah, but you say in your country, women know best; and I say you +not leave me. + +_Trudge._ Master, to be sure, while we were in the forest, taught +Yarico to read, with his pencil and pocket-book. What then? Wows comes +on fine and fast in her lessons. A little awkward at first, to be +sure--Ha! ha!--She's so used to feed with her hands, that I can't get +her to eat her victuals, in a genteel, christian way, for the soul of +me; when she has stuck a morsel on her fork, she don't know how to +guide it, but pops up her knuckles to her mouth, and the meat goes up +to her ear. But, no matter--After all the fine, flashy London girls, +Wowski's the wench for my money. + + +SONG. + + _A clerk I was in London gay,_ + _Jemmy linkum feedle,_ + _And went in boots to see the play,_ + _Merry fiddlem tweedle._ + _I march'd the lobby, twirled my stick,_ + _Diddle, daddle, deedle;_ + _The girls all cry'd, "He's quite the kick."_ + _Oh, Jemmy linkum feedle._ + + _Hey! for America I sail,_ + _Yankee doodle, deedle;_ + _The sailor-boys cry'd, "Smoke his tail!"_ + _Jemmy linkum feedle._ + _On English belles I turned my back,_ + _Diddle, daddle, deedle;_ + _And got a foreign fair quite black,_ + _O twaddle, twaddle, tweedle!_ + + _Your London girls, with roguish trip,_ + _Wheedle, wheedle, wheedle,_ + _May boast their pouting under lip,_ + _Fiddle, faddle, feedle._ + _My Wows would beat a hundred such,_ + _Diddle, daddle, deedle,_ + _Whose upper lip pouts twice as much,_ + _O, pretty double wheedle!_ + + _Rings I'll buy to deck her toes;_ + _Jemmy linkum feedle;_ + _A feather fine shall grace her nose,_ + _Waving siddle seedle._ + _With jealousy I ne'er shall burst;_ + _Who'd steal my bone of bone-a?_ + _A white Othello, I can trust_ + _A dingy Desdemona._ + + [Exeunt. + + +SCENE II. + + _A Room in the Crown._ + +[_Enter INKLE._] + +_Inkle._ I know not what to think--I have given her distant hints of +parting; but still, so strong her confidence in my affection, she +prattles on without regarding me. Poor Yarico! I must not--cannot quit +her. When I would speak, her look, her mere simplicity disarms me; I dare +not wound such innocence. Simplicity is like a smiling babe, which, to +the ruffian that would murder it, stretching its little naked, helpless +arms, pleads, speechless, its own cause. And yet, Narcissa's family-- + +_Enter TRUDGE._ + +_Trudge._ There he is; like a beau bespeaking a coat--doubting which +colour to choose--Sir-- + +_Inkle._ What now? + +_Trudge._ Nothing unexpected, sir:--I hope you won't be angry; but I am +come to give you joy, sir! + +_Inkle._ Joy!----of what? + +_Trudge._ A wife, sir! a white one.--I know it will vex you, but Miss +Narcissa means to make you happy, to-morrow morning. + +_Inkle._ To-morrow! + +_Trudge._ Yes, sir; and as I have been out of employ, in both my +capacities, lately, after I have dressed your hair, I may draw up the +marriage articles. + +_Inkle._ Whence comes your intelligence, sir? + +_Trudge._ Patty told me all that has passed in the Governor's family, +on the quay, sir. Women, you know, can never keep a secret. You'll be +introduced in form, with the whole island to witness it. + +_Inkle._ So public, too!----Unlucky! + +_Trudge._ There will be nothing but rejoicings, in compliment to the +wedding, she tells me; all noise and uproar! Married people like it, +they say. + +_Inkle._ Strange! that I should be so blind to my interest, as to be +the only person this distresses. + +_Trudge._ They are talking of nothing else but the match, it seems. + +_Inkle._ Confusion! How can I, in honour, retract? + +_Trudge._ And the bride's merits---- + +_Inkle._ True!--A fund of merits!--I would not--but from necessity--a +case so nice as this--I--would not wish to retract. + +_Trudge._ Then they call her so handsome. + +_Inkle._ Very true! so handsome! the whole world would laugh at me; +they'd call it folly to retract. + +_Trudge._ And then they say so much of her fortune. + +_Inkle._ O death! it would be _madness_ to retract. Surely, my +faculties have slept, and this long parting from my Narcissa has +blunted my sense of her accomplishments. 'Tis this alone makes me so +weak and wavering. I'll see her immediately. [_Going._] + +_Trudge._ Stay, stay, sir; I am desired to tell you, the Governor won't +open his gates to us till to-morrow morning. + +_Inkle._ Well, be it so; it will give me time, at all events, to put my +affairs in train. + +_Trudge._ Yes; it's a short respite before execution; and if your +honour was to go and comfort poor Madam Yarico---- + +_Inkle._ Damnation! Scoundrel, how dare you offer your advice?--I dread +to think of her! + +_Trudge._ I've done, sir, I've done--But I know I should blubber over +Wows all night, if I thought of parting with her in the morning. + +_Inkle._ Insolence! begone, sir! + +_Trudge._ Lord, sir, I only---- + +_Inkle._ Get down stairs, sir, directly. + +_Trudge._ [_Going out._] Ah! you may well put your hand to your head; +and a bad head it must be, to forget that Madam Yarico prevented her +countrymen from peeling off the upper part of it. [_Aside._] + + [_Exit._ + +_Inkle._ 'Sdeath, what am I about? How have I slumbered! Is it I?--I--who, +in London, laughed at the younkers of the town--and, when I saw their +chariots, with some fine, tempting girl, perked in the corner, come +shopping to the city, would cry--Ah!--there sits ruin--there flies the +Green-horn's money! then wondered with myself how men could trifle time +on women; or, indeed, think of any women without fortunes. And now, +forsooth, it rests with _me_ to turn romantic puppy, and give up all +for love.--Give up!--Oh, monstrous folly!--thirty thousand pounds! + +TRUDGE. [_Peeping in at the door._] + +_Trudge._ May I come in, sir? + +_Inkle._ What does the booby want? + +_Trudge._ Sir, your uncle wants to see _you_. + +_Inkle._ Mr. Medium! show him up directly. + + [_Exit TRUDGE._ + +He must not know of this. To-morrow! I wish this marriage were more +distant, that I might break it to her by degrees: she'd take my purpose +better, were it less suddenly delivered. + +_Enter MEDIUM._ + +_Med._ Ah! here he is! Give me your hand, nephew! welcome, welcome to +Barbadoes, with all my heart. + +_Inkle._ I am glad to meet you here, uncle! + +_Med._ That you are, that you are, I'm sure. Lord! Lord! when we parted +last, how I wished we were in a room together, if it were but the black +hole! I have not been able to sleep o'nights for thinking of you. I've +laid awake, and fancied I saw you sleeping your last, with your head in +the lion's mouth, for a night-cap! and I've never seen a bear brought +over to dance about the street, but I thought you might be bobbing up +and down in its belly. + +_Inkle._ I am very much obliged to you. + +_Med._ Aye, aye, I am happy enough to find you safe and sound, I promise +you. But, you have a fine prospect before you now, young man. I am come +to take you with me to Sir Christopher, who is impatient to see you. + +_Inkle._ To-morrow, I hear, he expects me. + +_Med._ To-morrow! directly--this moment--in half a second.--I left him +standing on tip-toe, as he calls it, to embrace you; and he's standing +on tiptoe now in the great parlour, and there he'll stand till you come +to him. + +_Inkle._ Is he so hasty? + +_Med._ Hasty! he's all pepper--and wonders you are not with him, before +it's possible to get at him. Hasty, indeed! Why, he vows you shall have +his daughter this very night. + +_Inkle._ What a situation! + +_Med._ Why, it's hardly fair just after a voyage. But come, bustle, +bustle, he'll think you neglect him. He's rare and touchy, I can tell +you; and if he once takes it into his head that you show the least +slight to his daughter, it would knock up all your schemes in a minute. + +_Inkle._ Confusion! If he should hear of Yarico! [_Aside._] + +_Med._ But at present you are all and all with him; he has been telling +me his intentions these six weeks; you'll be a fine warm husband, I +promise you. + +_Inkle._ This cursed connexion! [_Aside._] + +_Med._ It is not for me, though, to tell you how to play your cards; +you are a prudent young man, and can make calculations in a wood. + +_Inkle._ Fool! fool! fool! [_Aside._] + +_Med._ Why, what the devil is the matter with you? + +_Inkle._ It must be done effectually, or all is lost; mere parting +would not conceal it. [_Aside._] + +_Med._ Ah! now he's got to his damn'd square root again, I suppose, and +Old Nick would not move him.--Why, nephew! + +_Inkle._ The planter that I spoke with cannot be arrived--but time is +precious--the first I meet--common prudence now demands it. I'm fixed, +I'll part with her. [_Aside._] + + [_Exit._ + +_Med._ Damn me, but he's mad! The woods have turned the poor boy's +brains; he's scalped, and gone crazy! Hoho! Inkle! Nephew! Gad, I'll +spoil your arithmetic, I warrant me. + + [_Exit._ + + +SCENE III. + + _The Quay._ + +_Enter SIR CHRISTOPHER CURRY._ + +_Sir Chr._ Ods, my life! I can scarce contain my happiness. I have left +them safe in church, in the middle of the ceremony. I ought to have +given Narcissa away, they told me; but I capered about so much for joy, +that Old Spintext advised me to go and cool my heels on the quay, till +it was all over. Ods I'm so happy; and they shall see, now, what an old +fellow can do at a wedding. + +_Enter INKLE._ + +_Inkle._ Now for dispatch! Hark'ee, old gentleman! [_To the Governor._] + +_Sir Chr._ Well, young gentleman? + +_Inkle._ If I mistake not, I know your business here. + +_Sir Chr._ 'Egad, I believe half the island knows it, by this time. + +_Inkle._ Then to the point--I have a female, whom I wish to part with. + +_Sir Chr._ Very likely; it's a common case, now a-days, with many a man. + +_Inkle._ If you could satisfy me you would use her mildly, and treat +her with more kindness than is usual--for I can tell you she's of no +common stamp--perhaps we might agree. + +_Sir Chr._ Oho! a slave! Faith, now I think on't, my daughter may want +an attendant or two extraordinary; and as you say she's a delicate +girl, above the common run, and none of your thick-lipped, flat-nosed, +squabby, dumpling dowdies, I don't much care if-- + +_Inkle._ And for her treatment-- + +_Sir Chr._ Look ye, young man; I love to be plain: I shall treat her +a good deal better than you would, I fancy; for though I witness this +custom every day, I can't help thinking the only excuse for buying our +fellow creatures, is to rescue them from the hands of those who are +unfeeling enough to bring them to market. + +_Inkle._ Fair words, old gentleman; an Englishman won't put up an affront. + +_Sir Chr._ An Englishman! more shame for you! Let Englishmen blush at +such practices. Men, who so fully feel the blessings of liberty, are +doubly cruel in depriving the helpless of their freedom. + +_Inkle._ Let me assure you, sir, it is not my occupation; but for a +private reason--an instant pressing necessity---- + +_Sir Chr._ Well, well, I have a pressing necessity too; I can't stand +to talk now; I expect company here presently; but if you'll ask for me +to-morrow, at the Castle-- + +_Inkle._ The Castle! + +_Sir Chr._ Aye, sir, the Castle; the Governor's Castle; known all over +Barbadoes. + +_Inkle._ 'Sdeath this man must be on the Governor's establishment: +his steward, perhaps, and sent after me, while Sir Christopher is +impatiently waiting for me. I've gone too far; my secret may be +known--As 'tis, I'll win this fellow to my interest. [_To him._]--One +word more, sir: my business must be done immediately; and as you seem +acquainted at the Castle, if you should see me there--and there I mean +to sleep to-night---- + +_Sir Chr._ The devil you do! + +_Inkle._ Your finger on your lips; and never breathe a syllable of this +transaction. + +_Sir Chr._ No! Why not? + +_Inkle._ Because, for reasons, which, perhaps, you'll know to-morrow, I +might be injured with the Governor, whose most particular friend I am. + +_Sir Chr._ So! here's a particular friend of mine, coming to sleep +at my house, that I never saw in my life. I'll sound this fellow. +[_Aside._] I fancy, young gentleman, as you are such a bosom friend of +the Governor's, you can hardly do any thing to alter your situation +with him? + +_Inkle._ Oh! pardon me; but you'll find that hereafter--besides, you, +doubtless, know his character? + +_Sir Chr._ Oh, as well as I do my own. But let's understand one +another. You may trust me, now you've gone so far. You are acquainted +with his character, no doubt, to a hair? + +_Inkle._ I am--I see we shall understand each other. You know him too, +I see, as well as I.--A very touchy, testy, hot old fellow. + +_Sir Chr._ Here's a scoundrel! I hot and touchy! Zounds! I can hardly +contain my passion!--But I won't discover myself. I'll see the bottom +of this----[_To him._] Well now, as we seem to have come to a tolerable +explanation--let's proceed to business--Bring me the woman. + +_Inkle._ No; there you must excuse me. I rather would avoid seeing her +more; and wish it to be settled without my seeming interference. My +presence might distress her--You conceive me? + +_Sir Chr._ Zounds! what an unfeeling rascal!--The poor girl's in love +with him, I suppose. No, no, fair and open. My dealing is with you and +you only: I see her now, or I declare off. + +_Inkle._ Well then, you must be satisfied: yonder's my servant--ha--a +thought has struck me. Come here, sir. + +_Enter TRUDGE._ + +I'll write my purpose, and send it her by him--It's lucky that I taught +her to decypher characters; my labour now is paid. [_Takes out his +pocket book, and writes._]--This is somewhat less abrupt; 'twill soften +matters. [_To himself._] Give this to Yarico; then bring her hither +with you. + +_Trudge._ I shall, sir. [_Going._] + +_Inkle._ Stay; come back. This soft fool, if uninstructed, may add to her +distress. When she has read this paper, seem to make light of it; tell +her it is a thing of course, done purely for her good. I here inform her +that I must part with her. D'ye understand your lesson? + +_Trudge._ Pa--part with Ma--madam Ya-ri-co! + +_Inkle._ Why does the blockhead stammer!--I have my reasons. No +muttering--And let me tell you, sir, if your rare bargain were gone +too, 'twould be the better: she may babble our story of the forest, and +spoil my fortune. + +_Trudge._ I'm sorry for it, sir; I have lived with you along while; +I've half a year's wages too, due the 25th ult. for dressing your hair, +and scribbling your parchments; but take my scribbling; take my +frizzing; take my wages; and I, and Wows, will take ourselves off +together--she saved my life, and rot me, if any thing but death shall +part us. + +_Inkle._ Impertinent! Go, and deliver your message. + +_Trudge._ I'm gone, sir. Lord, Lord! I never carried a letter with such +ill will in all my born days. + + [_Exit._ + +_Sir Chr._ Well--shall I see the girl? + +_Inkle._ She'll be here presently. One thing I had forgot: when she is +yours, I need not caution you, after the hints I've given, to keep her +from the Castle. If Sir Christopher should see her, 'twould lead, you +know, to a discovery of what I wish concealed. + +_Sir Chr._ Depend upon _me_--Sir Christopher will know no more of our +meeting, than he does at this moment. + +_Inkle._ Your secrecy shall not be unrewarded; I'll recommend you, +particularly, to his good graces. + +_Sir Chr._ Thank ye, thank ye; but I'm pretty much in his good graces, +as it is; I don't know anybody he has a greater respect for.---- + +_Re-enter TRUDGE._ + +_Inkle._ Now, sir, have you performed your message? + +_Trudge._ Yes, I gave her the letter. + +_Inkle._ And where is Yarico? did she say she'd come? didn't you do as +you were ordered? didn't you speak to her? + +_Trudge._ I cou'dn't, sir, I cou'dn't--I intended to say what you bid +me--but I felt such a pain in my throat, I cou'dn't speak a word, for +the soul of me; and so, sir, I fell a crying. + +_Inkle._ Blockhead! + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sblood, but he's a very honest blockhead. Tell me, my good +fellow--what said the wench? + +_Trudge._ Nothing at all, sir. She sat down with her two hands clasped +on her knees, and looked so pitifully in my face, I could not stand it. +Oh, here she comes. I'll go and find Wows: if I must be melancholy, she +shall keep me company. + + [_Exit._ + +_Sir Chr._ Ods my life, as comely a wench as ever I saw! + +_Enter YARICO, who looks for some time in INKLE's face, bursts into +tears, and falls on his neck._ + +_Inkle._ In tears! nay, Yarico! why this? + +_Yar._ Oh do not--do not leave me! + +_Inkle._ Why, simple girl! I'm labouring for your good. My interest, +here, is nothing: I can do nothing from myself, you are ignorant of our +country's customs. I must give way to men more powerful, who will not +have me with you. But see, my Yarico, ever anxious for your welfare, +I've found a kind, good person who will protect you. + +_Yar._ Ah! why not you protect me! + +_Inkle._ I have no means--how can I? + +_Yarico._ Just as I sheltered you. Take me to yonder mountain, where I +see no smoke from tall, high houses, filled with your cruel countrymen. +None of your princes, there, will come to take me from you. And should +they stray that way, we'll find a lurking place, just like my own poor +cave; where many a day I sat beside you, and blessed the chance that +brought you to it--that I might save your life. + +_Sir Chr._ His life! Zounds! my blood boils at the scoundrel's +ingratitude! + +_Yar._ Come, come, let's go. I always feared these cities. Let's fly +and seek the woods; and there we'll wander hand in hand together. No +cares shall vex us then--We'll let the day glide by in idleness; and +you shall sit in the shade, and watch the sun-beam playing on the +brook, while I sing the song that pleases you. No cares, love, but for +food--and we'll live cheerily I warrant--In the fresh, early morning, +you shall hunt down our game, and I will pick you berries--and then, at +night I'll trim our bed of leaves, and lie me down in peace--Oh! we +shall be so happy!---- + +_Inkle._ Hear me, Yarico. My countrymen and yours differ as much +in minds as in complexions. We were not born to live in woods and +caves----to seek subsistence by pursuing beasts----We christians, +girl, hunt money; a thing unknown to you--But, here, 'tis money which +brings us ease, plenty, command, power, every thing; and, of course, +happiness. You are the bar to my attaining this; therefore 'tis +necessary for my good----and which, I think, you value---- + +_Yar._ You know I do; so much, that it would break my heart to leave +you. + +_Inkle._ But we must part; if you are seen with me, I shall lose all. + +_Yar._ I gave up all for you--my friends--my country: all that was dear +to me: and still grown dearer since you sheltered there.--All, all, was +left for you--and were it now to do again--again I'd cross the seas, and +follow you, all the world over. + +_Inkle._ We idle time; sir, she is yours. See you obey this gentleman; +'twill be the better for you. [_Going._] + +_Yar._ O barbarous! [_Holding him._] Do not, do not abandon me! + +_Inkle._ No more. + +_Yar._ Stay but a little. I shan't live long to be a burden to you: +your cruelty has cut me to the heart. Protect me but a little--or I'll +obey this man, and undergo all hardships for your good; stay but to +witness 'em.--I soon shall sink with grief; tarry till then, and hear +me bless your name when I am dying; and beg you now and then, when I am +gone, to heave a sigh for your poor Yarico. + +_Inkle._ I dare not listen. You, sir, I hope, will take good care of +her. [_Going._] + +_Sir Chr._ Care of her!--that I will--I'll cherish her like my own +daughter; and pour balm into the heart of a poor, innocent girl, that +has been wounded by the artifices of a scoundrel. + +_Inkle._ Hah! 'Sdeath, sir, how dare you!-- + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sdeath, sir, how dare you look an honest man in the face? + +_Inkle._ Sir, you shall feel-- + +_Sir Chr._ Feel!--It's more than ever you did, I believe. Mean, sordid +wretch! dead to all sense of honour, gratitude, or humanity--I never +heard of such barbarity! I have a son-in-law, who has been left in +the same situation; but, if I thought him capable of such cruelty, +dam'me if I would not turn him to sea, with a peck-loaf, in a cockle +shell--Come, come, cheer up, my girl! You shan't want a friend to +protect you, I warrant you.--[_Taking YARICO by the hand._] + +_Inkle._ Insolence! The Governor shall hear of this insult. + +_Sir Chr._ The Governor! liar! cheat! rogue! impostor! breaking all +ties you ought to keep, and pretending to those you have no right to. +The Governor never had such a fellow in the whole catalogue of his +acquaintance--the Governor disowns you--the Governor disclaims you--the +Governor abhors you; and to your utter confusion, here stands the +Governor to tell you so. Here stands old Curry, who never talked to a +rogue without telling him what he thought of him. + +_Inkle._ Sir Christopher!--Lost and undone! + +_Med._ [_Without._] Holo! Young Multiplication! Zounds! I have been +peeping in every cranny of the house. Why, young Rule of Three! +[_Enters from the inn._] Oh, here you are at last--Ah, Sir Christopher! +What are you there! too impatient to wait at home. But here's one that +will make you easy, I fancy. [_Clapping INKLE on the shoulder._] + +_Sir Chr._ How came you to know him? + +_Med._ Ha! ha! Well, that's curious enough too. So you have been +talking here, without finding out each other. + +_Sir Chr._ No, no; I have found him out with a vengeance. + +_Med._ Not you. Why this is the dear boy. It's my nephew; that is, your +son-in-law, that is to be. It's Inkle! + +_Sir Chr._ It's a lie; and you're a purblind old booby,--and this dear +boy is a damn'd scoundrel. + +_Med._ Hey-day! what's the meaning of this? One was mad before, and he +has bit the other, I suppose. + +_Sir Chr._ But here comes the dear boy--the true boy--the jolly boy, +piping hot from church, with my daughter. + +_Enter CAMPLEY, NARCISSA, and PATTY._ + +_Med._ Campley! + +_Sir Chr._ Who? Campley?--It's no such thing. + +_Camp._ That's my name, indeed, Sir Christopher. + +_Sir Chr._ The devil it is! And how came you, sir, to impose upon me, +and assume the name of Inkle? A name which every man of honesty ought +to be ashamed of. + +_Camp._ I never did, sir.--Since I sailed from England with your +daughter, my affection has daily increased: and when I came to explain +myself to you, by a number of concurring circumstances, which I am now +partly acquainted with, you mistook me for that gentleman. Yet had I +even then been aware of your mistake, I must confess, the regard for my +own happiness would have tempted me to let you remain undeceived. + +_Sir Chr._ And did you, Narcissa, join in-- + +_Nar._ How could I, my dear sir, disobey you? + +_Patty._ Lord your honour, what young lady could refuse a captain? + +_Camp._ I am a soldier, Sir Christopher. Love and war is the soldier's +motto; though my income is trifling to your _intended_ son-in-law's, +still the chance of war has enabled me to support the object of my love +above indigence. Her fortune, Sir Christopher, I do not consider myself +by any means entitled to. + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sblood! but you must though. Give me your hand, my young +Mars, and bless you both together!--Thank you, thank you for cheating +an old fellow into giving his daughter to a lad of spirit, when he was +going to throw her away upon one, in whose breast the mean passion of +avarice smothers the smallest spark of affection or humanity. + +_Nar._ I have this moment heard a story of a transaction in the forest, +which I own would have rendered compliance with your former commands +very disagreeable. + +_Patty._ Yes, sir, I told my mistress he had brought over a Hottypot +gentlewoman. + +_Sir Chr._ Yes, but he would have left her for you; [_To Narcissa._] +and you for his interest; and sold you, perhaps, as he has this poor +girl to me, as a requital for preserving his life. + +_Nar._ How! + +_Enter TRUDGE and WOWSKI._ + +_Trudge._ Come along, Wows! take a long last leave of your poor mistress: +throw your pretty, ebony arms about her neck. + +_Wows._ No, no;--she not go; you not leave poor Wowski. [_Throwing her +arms about YARICO._] + +_Sir Chr._ Poor girl! A companion, I take it! + +_Trudge._ A thing of my own, sir. I cou'dn't help following my master's +example in the woods----_Like master, like man_, sir. + +_Sir Chr._ But you would not sell her, and be hang'd to you, you dog, +would you? + +_Trudge._ Hang me, like a dog, if I would, sir. + +_Sir Chr._ So say I to every fellow that breaks an obligation due to +the feelings of a man. But, old Medium, what have you to say for your +hopeful nephew? + +_Med._ I never speak ill of my friends, Sir Christopher. + +_Sir Chr._ Pshaw! + +_Inkle._ Then let me speak: hear me defend a conduct---- + +_Sir Chr._ Defend! Zounds! plead guilty at once--it's the only hope +left of obtaining mercy. + +_Inkle._ Suppose, old gentleman, you had a son? + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sblood! then I'd make him an honest fellow; and teach him, +that the feeling heart never knows greater pride than when it's employed +in giving succour to the unfortunate. I'd teach him to be his father's +own son to a hair. + +_Inkle._ Even so my father tutored me: from my infancy, bending my +tender mind, like a young sapling, to his will--Interest was the grand +prop round which he twined my pliant green affections: taught me in +childhood to repeat old sayings--all tending to his own fixed principles, +and the first sentence that I ever lisped, was--_Charity begins at home._ + +_Sir Chr._ I shall never like a proverb again, as long as I live. + +_Inkle._ As I grew up, he'd prove--and by example--were I in want, I +might e'en starve, for what the world cared for their neighbours; why +then should I care for the world? Men now lived for themselves. These +were his doctrines: then, sir, what would you say, should I, in spite +of habit, precept, education, fly in my father's face, and spurn his +councils? + +_Sir Chr._ Say! why, that you were a damn'd honest, undutiful fellow. O +curse such principles! Principles, which destroy all confidence between +man and man--Principles which none but a rogue could instil, and none +but a rogue could imbibe.--Principles---- + +_Inkle._ Which I renounce. + +_Sir Chr._ Eh! + +_Inkle._ Renounce entirely. Ill-founded precept too long has steeled +my breast--but still 'tis vulnerable--this trial was too much--Nature, +'gainst habit combating within me, has penetrated to my heart; a heart, +I own, long callous to the feelings of sensibility; but now it bleeds--and +bleeds for my poor Yarico. Oh, let me clasp her to it, while 'tis glowing, +and mingle tears of love and penitence. [_Embracing her._] + +_Trudge._ [_Capering about._] Wows, give me a kiss! [_WOWSKI goes to +TRUDGE._] + +_Yar._ And shall we--shall we be happy? + +_Inkle._ Aye; ever, ever, Yarico. + +_Yar._ I knew we should--and yet I feared--but shall I still watch over +you? Oh! love, you surely gave your Yarico such pain, only to make her +feel this happiness the greater. + +_Wows._ [_Going to YARICO._] Oh Wowski so happy!--and yet I think I not +glad neither. + +_Trudge._ Eh, Wows! How!--why not! + +_Wows._ 'Cause I can't help cry---- + +_Sir Chr._ Then, if that's the case--curse me, if I think I'm very glad +either. What the plague's the matter with my eyes?--Young man, your +hand--I am now proud and happy to shake it. + +_Med._ Well, Sir Christopher, what do you say to my hopeful nephew now? + +_Sir Chr._ Say! Why, confound the fellow, I say, that is ungenerous +enough to remember the bad action of a man who has virtue left in his +heart to repent it--As for you, my good fellow, [_To TRUDGE._] I must, +with your master's permission, employ you myself. + +_Trudge._ O rare!--Bless your honour!--Wows! you'll be lady, you jade, +to a governor's factotum. + +_Wows._ Iss--I Lady Jactotum. + +_Sir Chr._ And now, my young folks, we'll drive home, and celebrate the +wedding. Od's my life! I long to be shaking a foot at the fiddles, and +I shall dance ten times the lighter, for reforming an Inkle, while I +have it in my power to reward the innocence of a Yarico. + + +FINALE. + +[La Belle Catharine.] + +CAMPLEY. + + _Come, let us dance and sing,_ + _While all Barbadoes bells shall ring:_ + _Love scrapes the fiddle string,_ + _And Venus plays the lute;_ + _Hymen gay, foots away,_ + _Happy at our wedding-day,_ + _Cocks his chin, and figures in,_ + _To tabor, fife, and flute._ + +CHORUS. + + _Come then dance and sing,_ + _While all Barbadoes bells shall ring, &c._ + +NARCISSA. + + _Since thus each anxious care_ + _Is vanished into empty air,_ + _Ah! how can I forbear_ + _To join the jocund dance?_ + _To and fro, couples go,_ + _On the light fantastic toe,_ + _White with glee, merrily,_ + _The rosy hours advance._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +YARICO. + + _When first the swelling sea_ + _Hither bore my love and me,_ + _What then my fate would be,_ + _Little did I think----_ + _Doomed to know care and woe,_ + _Happy still is Yarico;_ + _Since her love will constant prove,_ + _And nobly scorns to shrink._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +WOWSKI. + + _Whilst all around, rejoice,_ + _Pipe and tabor raise the voice,_ + _It can't be Wowski's choice,_ + _Whilst Trudge's to be dumb._ + _No, no, dey blithe and gay,_ + _Shall like massy, missy play._ + _Dance and sing, hey ding, ding,_ + _Strike fiddle and beat drum._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +TRUDGE. + + _'Sbobs! now, I'm fix'd for life,_ + _My fortune's fair, tho' black's my wife,_ + _Who fears domestic strife--_ + _Who cares now a souse!_ + _Merry cheer my dingy dear_ + _Shall find with her Factotum heve;_ + _Night and day, I'll frisk and play_ + _About the house with Wows._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +INKLE. + + _Love's convert here behold,_ + _Banish'd now my thirst of gold,_ + _Bless'd in these arms to fold_ + _My gentle Yarico._ + _Hence all care, doubt, and fear,_ + _Love and joy each want shall cheer,_ + _Happy night, pure delight,_ + _Shall make our bosoms glow._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +PATTY. + + _Let Patty say a word----_ + _A chambermaid may sure be heard----_ + _Sure men are grown absurd,_ + _Thus taking black for white;_ + _To hug and kiss a dingy miss,_ + _Will hardly suit an age like this,_ + _Unless, here, some friends appear,_ + _Who like this wedding night._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + + +THE END. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Inkle and Yarico, by George Colman + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INKLE AND YARICO *** + +***** This file should be named 36621-8.txt or 36621-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/6/2/36621/ + +Produced by Steven desJardins, David Garcia and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Inkle and Yarico + An opera, in three acts + +Author: George Colman + +Commentator: Mrs. Inchbald + +Release Date: July 5, 2011 [EBook #36621] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INKLE AND YARICO *** + + + + +Produced by Steven desJardins, David Garcia and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div style="height: 6em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<div class="figure"> +<a href="images/inkle-f.jpg"><img src="images/inkle-s.jpg" width="500" height="745" +alt="INKLE AND YARICO + INKLE--BY HEAVENS! A WOMAN! + ACT I. SCENE III. + PAINTED BY HOWARD. PUBLISHD BY LONGMAN & CO. ENGRAVD BY HEATH." /></a> +<br /> +INKLE AND YARICO<br /> + INKLE—BY HEAVENS! A WOMAN!<br /> + ACT I. SCENE III.<br /> +<small> + PAINTED BY HOWARD. PUBLISHD BY LONGMAN & CO. ENGRAVD BY HEATH. +</small> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page1" name="page1"></a>[1]</span></p> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h1> + <big>INKLE AND YARICO;</big><br /> AN OPERA,<br /> <small>IN THREE ACTS;</small> +</h1> + +<p class="center"> +<small> +AS PERFORMED AT THE THEATRES ROYAL<br /> +</small> +<big> +COVENT GARDEN, AND HAYMARKET. +</big> +</p> + +<p class="center"> +<small>BY</small><br /> +<big> +<span class="sc">GEORGE COLMAN, the younger;</span> +</big> +</p> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<p class="center"> +<small> +PRINTED, UNDER THE AUTHORITY OF THE MANAGERS, +<br /> +FROM THE PROMPT BOOK. +</small> +</p> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<p class="center"> +<small>WITH REMARKS</small><br />BY MRS. INCHBALD. +</p> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> + +<p class="center"> +LONDON: +<br /> +<small>PRINTED FOR LONGMAN, HURST, REES, AND ORME,<br /> PATERNOSTER ROW.</small> +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page2" name="page2"></a>[2]</span></p> + +<div style="height: 2em;"><br /><br /></div> +<p class="center"> +T. Davison, Whitefriars, +<br /> +London. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page3" name="page3"></a>[3]</span></p> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h2> + REMARKS. +</h2> +<p> +This is a drama, which might remove from Mr. Wilberforce his aversion +to theatrical exhibitions, and convince him, that the teaching of moral +duty is not confined to particular spots of ground; for, in those +places, of all others, the doctrine is most effectually inculcated, +where exhortation is the most required—the resorts of the gay, the +idle, and the dissipated. +</p> +<p> +This opera was written, when the author was very young; and, should +he live to be very old, he will have reason to be proud of it to his +latest day—for it is one of those plays which is independent of time, +of place, or of circumstance, for its value. It was popular before the +subject of the abolition of the slave trade was popular. It has the +peculiar honour of preceding that great question. It was the bright +forerunner of alleviation to the hardships of slavery. +</p> +<p> +The trivial faults of this opera are—too much play on words (as it is +called) by Trudge; and some classical + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page4" name="page4"></a>[4]</span> + + allusions by other characters, +in whose education such knowledge could not be an ingredient. +</p> +<p> +A fault more important, is—that the scene at the commencement of the +opera, instead of Africa, is placed in America. It would undoubtedly +have been a quick passage, to have crossed a fourth part of the +western globe, during the interval between the first and second acts; +still, as the hero and heroine of the drama were compelled to go to +sea—imagination, with but little more exertion, might have given them +a fair wind as well from the coast whence slaves are <i>really</i> brought, +as from a shore where no such traffic is held<a href="#note-1" name="noteref-1"><small> 1</small></a>. +</p> +<p> +As an opera, Inkle and Yarico has the singular merit not to be +protected, though aided, by the power of music: the characters are so +forcibly drawn, that even those performers who sing, and study that +art alone, can render every part effectual: and singers and actors of +future times, like those of the past, and of the present, will find +every character exactly suited to their talents. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page5" name="page5"></a>[5]</span></p> + +<p> +This opera has been performed in every London theatre, and in every +theatre of the kingdom, with the same degree of splendid success. It +would have been wonderful had its reception been otherwise; for the +subject is a most interesting one, and in the treatment of it, the +author has shewn taste, judgment—virtue. +</p> + +<p class="foot"> +<a name="note-1"><!--Note--></a> +1 (<a href="#noteref-1"><small>return</small></a>)<br /> +No doubt the author would have ingenuity to argue away +this objection—but that, which requires argument for its support in a +dramatic work, is a subject for complaint. As slaves are imported from +Africa, and never from America, the audience, in the two last acts of +this play, feel as if they had been in the wrong quarter of the globe +during the first act. Inkle could certainly steal a native from +America, and sell her in Barbadoes, but this is not so consonant with +that nice imitation of the order of things as to rank above criticism. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page6" name="page6"></a>[6]</span></p> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h2> + PERSONS REPRESENTED. +</h2> + + +<table summary="Persons Represented"> + +<tr><td colspan="2"><p class="center"><br />COVENT GARDEN.</p></td></tr> + +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Inkle</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Johnstone.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Sir Christopher Curry</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Quick.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Campley</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Davies.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Medium</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Wewitzer.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Trudge</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Edwin.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Mate</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Darley.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="3"> +</td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Yarico</span> </td><td><i>Mrs. Billington.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Narcissa</span> </td><td><i>Mrs. Mountain.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Wowski</span> </td><td><i>Mrs. Martyr.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Patty</span> </td><td><i>Mrs. Rock.</i> </td></tr> + +<tr><td colspan="2"><p class="center"><br />HAYMARKET.</p></td></tr> + +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Inkle</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Bannister, jun.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Sir Christopher Curry</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Parsons.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Medium</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Baddeley.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Campley</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Davies.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Trudge</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Edwin.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Mate</span> </td><td><i>Mr. Meadows.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td colspan="3"> +</td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Yarico</span> </td><td><i>Mrs. Kemble.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Narcissa</span> </td><td><i>Mrs. Bannister.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Wowski</span> </td><td><i>Miss George.</i> </td></tr> +<tr><td> <span class="sc">Patty</span> </td><td><i>Mrs. Forster.</i> </td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="scene"> +<i>SCENE,—First on the Main of America: Afterwards in Barbadoes.</i> +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page7" name="page7"></a>[7]</span></p> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<p class="center"> +<b><big>INKLE AND YARICO.</big></b> +</p> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h2> + ACT THE FIRST. +</h2> +<h3> +SCENE I. +</h3> + +<p class="scene"> + <i>An American Forest.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Medium.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Without.</i>]</span> Hilli ho! ho! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Without.</i>]</span> Hip! hollo! ho!—Hip!—— +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Medium</span> and <span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Pshaw! it's only wasting time and breath. Bawling won't persuade +him to budge a bit faster, and, whatever weight it may have in <i>some</i> +places, bawling, it seems, don't go for argument here. Plague on't! we +are now in the wilds of America. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Hip, hillio—ho—hi!—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Hold your tongue, you blockhead, or—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Lord! sir, if my master makes no more haste, we shall all be +put to sword by the knives of the natives. I'm told they take off heads +like hats, and hang 'em on pegs, in their parlours. Mercy on us! My +head aches with the very thoughts of it. Hollo! Mr. Inkle! master; +hollo! +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Stops his mouth.</i>]</span> Head aches! Zounds, so does mine, with your +confounded bawling. It's enough to bring all the natives about us; and +we shall be stripped and plundered in a minute. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page8" name="page8"></a>[8]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Aye; stripping is the first thing that would happen to us; +for they seem to be woefully off for a wardrobe. I myself saw three, at +a distance, with less clothes than I have, when I get out of bed: all +dancing about in black buff; just like Adam in mourning. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> This is to have to do with a schemer! a fellow who risks his +life, for a chance of advancing his interest.—Always advantage in +view! Trying, here, to make discoveries, that may promote his profit in +England. Another Botany Bay scheme, mayhap. Nothing else could induce +him to quit our foraging party, from the ship; when he knows every +inhabitant here is not only as black as a pepper-corn, but as hot into +the bargain—and <i>I</i>, like a fool, to follow him! and then to let him +loiter behind.—Why, nephew;—Why, Inkle.—<span class="dir-i">[<i>Calling.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Why, Inkle——Well! only to see the difference of men! he'd +have thought it very hard, now, if I had let him call so often after +me. Ah! I wish he was calling after me now, in the old jog-trot way, +again. What a fool was I to leave London for foreign parts!——That +ever I should leave Threadneedle-street, to thread an American forest, +where a man's as soon lost as a needle in a bottle of hay! +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Patience, Trudge! Patience! If we once recover the ship—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Lord, sir, I shall never recover what I have lost in coming +abroad. When my master and I were in London, I had such a mortal snug +birth of it! Why, I was <i>factotum</i>. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Factotum to a young merchant is no such sinecure, neither. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> But then the honour of it. Think of that, sir; to be clerk as +well as <i>own man</i>. Only consider. You find very few city clerks made +out of a man, now-a-days. To be king of the counting-house, as well as +lord of the bed-chamber. Ah! if I had him + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page9" name="page9"></a>[9]</span> + + but now in the little +dressing-room behind the office; tying his hair, with a bit of red +tape, as usual. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Yes, or writing an invoice in lampblack, and shining his shoes +with an ink-bottle, <i>as usual</i>, you blundering blockhead! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh, if I was but brushing the accounts or casting up the +coats! mercy on us! what's that? +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> That! What? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Didn't you hear a noise? +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Y—es—but—hush! Oh, heavens be praised! here he is at last. +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Inkle</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +Now, nephew! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> So, Mr. Medium. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Zounds, one would think, by your confounded composure, that you +were walking in St. James's Park, instead of an American forest: and +that all the beasts were nothing but good company. The hollow trees, +here, sentry boxes, and the lions in 'em, soldiers; the jackalls, +courtiers; the crocodiles, fine women; and the baboons, beaus. What the +plague made you loiter so long? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Reflection. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> So I should think; reflection generally comes lagging behind. +What, scheming, I suppose; never quiet. At it again, eh? What a happy +trader is your father, to have so prudent a son for a partner! Why, you +are the carefullest Co. in the whole city. Never losing sight of the +main chance; and that's the reason, perhaps, you lost sight of us, +here, on the main of America. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Right, Mr. Medium. Arithmetic, I own, has been the means of +our parting at present. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Ha! A sum in division, I reckon. +</p> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Aside.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Med.</i> And pray, if I may be so bold, what mighty +scheme has just tempted you to employ your head, +when you ought to make use of your heels? +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page10" name="page10"></a>[10]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> My heels! Here's pretty doctrine! Do you think I travel merely +for motion? What, would you have a man of business come abroad, scamper +extravagantly here and there and every where, then return home, and +have nothing to tell, but that he has <i>been</i> here and there and every +where? 'Sdeath, sir, would you have me travel like a lord? +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> No, the Lord forbid! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Travelling, uncle, was always intended for improvement; and +improvement is an advantage; and advantage is profit, and profit is +gain. Which in the travelling translation of a trader, means, that you +should gain every advantage of improving your profit. I have been +comparing the land, here, with that of our own country. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> And you find it like a good deal of the land of our own +country——cursedly encumbered with black legs, I take it. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> And calculating how much it might be made to produce by the +acre. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> You were? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Yes; I was proceeding algebraically upon the subject. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Indeed! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> And just about extracting the square root. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Hum! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> I was thinking too, if so many natives could be caught, how +much they might fetch at the West Indian markets. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Now let me ask you a question, or two, young cannibal catcher, +if you please. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Well. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Ar'n't we bound for Barbadoes; partly to trade, but chiefly to +carry home the daughter of the governor, Sir Christopher Curry, who has +till now been under your father's care, in Threadneedle-street, for +polite English education? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Granted. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page11" name="page11"></a>[11]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Med.</i> And isn't it determined, between the old folks, that you are to +marry Narcissa, as soon as we get there? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> A fixed thing. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Then what the devil do you do here, hunting old hairy negroes, +when you ought to be obliging a fine girl in the ship? Algebra, too! +You'll have other things to think of when you are married, I promise +you. A plodding fellow's head, in the hands of a young wife, like a +boy's slate, after school, soon gets all its arithmetic wiped off: and +then it appears in its true simple state: dark, empty, and bound in +wood, Master Inkle. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Not in a match of this kind. Why, it's a table of interest +from beginning to end, old Medium. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Well, well, this is no time to talk. Who knows but, instead of +sailing to a wedding, we may get cut up, here, for a wedding dinner: +tossed up for a dingy duke, perhaps, or stewed down for a black +baronet, or eat raw by an inky commoner? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Why sure you ar'n't afraid? +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Who, I afraid? Ha! ha! ha! No, not I! What the deuce should I +be afraid of? Thank Heaven I have a clear conscience, and need not be +afraid of any thing. A scoundrel might not be quite so easy on such +an occasion; but it's the part of an honest man not to behave like a +scoundrel: I never behaved like a scoundrel—for which reason I am an +honest man, you know. But come—I hate to boast of my good qualities. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Slow and sure, my good, virtuous Mr. Medium! Our companions +can be but half a mile before us: and, if we do but double their steps, +we shall overtake 'em at one mile's end, by all the powers of arithmetic. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Oh curse your arithmetic! +</p> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exeunt.</i> +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page12" name="page12"></a>[12]</span></p> + +<h3> +SCENE II. +</h3> +<p class="scene"> + <i>Another part of the Forest.—A ship at anchor in the bay at + a small distance.—Mouth of a cave.</i> +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Sailors</span> and <span class="sc">Mate</span>, as returning from foraging.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Mate.</i> Come, come, bear a hand, my lads. Tho'f the bay is just under +our bowsprits, it will take a damned deal of tripping to come at +it—there's hardly any steering clear of the rocks here. But do we +muster all hands? All right, think ye? +</p> +<p> +<i>1st. Sail.</i> All to a man——besides yourself, and a monkey——the +three land lubbers, that edged away in the morning, goes for nothing, +you know—they're all dead, may-hap, by this. +</p> +<p> +<i>Mate.</i> Dead! you be—Why they're friends of the captain; and if not +brought safe aboard to-night, you may all chance to have a salt eel for +your supper—that's all—Moreover the young plodding spark, he with the +grave, foul weather face, there, is to man the tight little frigate, +Miss Narcissa—what d'ye call her? that is bound with us for Barbadoes. +Rot'em for not keeping under weigh, I say! But come, let's see if a +song will bring 'em too. Let's have a full chorus to the good merchant +ship, the Achilles, that's wrote by our captain. +</p> + +<h3> +SONG. +</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>The Achilles, though christen'd, good ship, 'tis surmis'd,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>From that old man of war, great Achilles, so priz'd,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Was he, like our vessel, pray fairly baptiz'd?</i></p> +<p class="i40"> <i>Ti tol lol, &c.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>Poets sung</i> that <i>Achilles—if, now, they've an itch</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>To sing</i> this, <i>future ages may know which is which;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And that one rode in Greece—and the other in pitch.</i></p> +<p class="i40"> <i>Ti tol lol, &c.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page13" name="page13"></a>[13]</span></p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>What tho' but a merchant ship—sure our supplies:</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Now your men of war's gain in a lottery lies,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And how blank they all look, when they can't get a prize!</i></p> +<p class="i40"> <i>Ti tol lol, &c.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>What are all their fine names? when no rhino's behind,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>The Intrepid, and Lion, look sheepish you'll find;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Whilst, alas! the poor Ćolus can't raise the wind!</i></p> +<p class="i40"> <i>Ti tol lol, &c.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>Then the Thunderer's dumb; out of tune the Orpheus;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>The Ceres has nothing at all to produce;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And the Eagle I warrant you, looks like a goose.</i></p> +<p class="i40"> <i>Ti tol lol, &c.</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p> +<i>1st. Sail.</i> Avast! look a-head there. Here they come, chased by a +fleet of black devils. +</p> +<p> +<i>Midsh.</i> And the devil a <i>fire</i> have I to give them. We han't a grain +of powder left. What must we do, lads? +</p> +<p> +<i>2d. Sail.</i> Do? Sheer off to be sure. +</p> +<p> +<i>Midsh.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Reluctantly.</i>]</span> Well, if I must, I must. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Going to the other +side, and holloing to <span class="sc">Inkle</span>, &c.</i>]</span> Yoho, lubbers! Crowd all +the sail you can, d'ye mind me! +</p> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exeunt</i> <span class="sc">Sailors</span>. +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Medium</span>, running across the stage, as pursued by the Blacks.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Nephew! Trudge! run—scamper! Scour—fly! Zounds, what harm did +I ever do to be hunted to death by a pack of bloodhounds? Why nephew! +Oh, confound your long sums in arithmetic! I'll take care of myself; +and if we must have any arithmetic, dot and carry one for my money. +</p> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Runs off.</i> +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Inkle</span> and <span class="sc">Trudge</span>, hastily.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh! that ever I was born, to leave pen, ink, and powder for +this! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Trudge, how far are the sailors before us? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> I'll run and see, sir, directly. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page14" name="page14"></a>[14]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Blockhead, come here. The savages are close upon us; we shall +scarce be able to recover our party. Get behind this tuft of trees with +me; they'll pass us, and we may then recover our ship with safety. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Going behind.</i>]</span> Oh! Threadneedle-street, Thread— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Peace. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Hiding.</i>]</span>—Needle-street. <span class="dir-i">[<i>They hide behind trees. Natives +cross. After a long pause, <span class="sc">Inkle</span> looks from the trees.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Trudge. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Sir. <span class="dir-i">[<i>In a whisper.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Are they all gone by? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Won't you look and see? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Looking round.</i>]</span> So all is safe at last. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Coming forward.</i>]</span> +Nothing like policy in these cases; but you'd have run on, like a booby! +A tree, I fancy, you'll find, in future, the best resource in a hot +pursuit. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh, charming! It's a retreat for a king, sir: Mr. Medium, +however, has not got up in it; your uncle, sir, <i>has run on like a +booby</i>; and has got up with our party by this time, I take it; who are +now most likely at the shore. But what are we to do next, sir? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Reconnoitre a little, and then proceed. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Then pray, sir, proceed to reconnoitre; for the sooner the +better. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Then look out, d'ye hear, and tell me if you discover any +danger. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Y——Ye—s—Yes. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Well, is the coast clear? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Eh! Oh lord!—Clear! <span class="dir-i">[<i>Rubbing his eyes.</i>]</span> Oh dear! oh dear! +the coast will soon be clear enough now, I promise you——The ship is +under sail, sir! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Confusion! my property carried off in the vessel. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page15" name="page15"></a>[15]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> All, all, sir, except me. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> They may report me dead, perhaps, and dispose of my property +at the next island. <span class="dir-i">[<i>The vessel appears under sail.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Ah! there they go. <span class="dir-i">[<i>A gun fired.</i>]</span>——That will be the last +report we shall ever hear from 'em I'm afraid.—That's as much as to +say, Good bye to ye. And here we are left—two fine, full-grown babes +in the wood! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> What an ill-timed accident! Just too, when my speedy union +with Narcissa, at Barbadoes, would so much advance my interests.—Ah, +my Narcissa, I never shall forget thy last adieu.—Something must be +hit upon, and speedily; but what resource? <span class="dir-i">[<i>Thinking.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> The old one—a tree, sir.—'Tis all we have for it now. What +would I give, now, to be perched upon a high stool, with our brown +desk squeezed into the pit of my stomach—scribbling away an old +parchment!——But all my red ink will be spilt by an old black pin of +a negro. +</p> + +<h3> +SONG. +</h3> +<p class="center"> +[Last Valentine's Day.] +</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>A voyage over seas had not entered my head,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Had I known but on which side to butter my bread,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Heigho! sure I—for hunger must die!</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>I've sail'd like a booby; come here in a squall,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Where, alas! there's no bread to be butter'd at all!</i></p> +<p class="i8"> <i>Oho! I'm a terrible booby!</i></p> +<p class="i8"> <i>Oh, what a sad booby am I!</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>In London, what gay chop-house signs in the street!</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>But the only sign here is of nothing to eat.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Heigho! that I——for hunger should die!</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>My mutton's all lost; I'm a poor starving elf!</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And for all the world like a lost mutton myself.</i></p> +<p class="i8"> <i>Oho! I shall die a lost mutton!</i></p> +<p class="i8"> <i>Oh! what a lost mutton am I!</i></p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page16" name="page16"></a>[16]</span></p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>For a neat slice of beef, I could roar like a bull;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And my stomach's so empty, my heart is quite full.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Heigho! that I—for hunger should die!</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>But, grave without meat, I must here meet my grave,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>For my bacon, I fancy, I never shall save.</i></p> +<p class="i8"> <i>Oho! I shall ne'er save my bacon!</i></p> +<p class="i8"> <i>I can't save my bacon, not I!</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Hum! I was thinking——I was thinking, sir—if so many +natives could be caught, how much they might fetch at the West India +markets! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Scoundrel! is this a time to jest? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> No, faith, sir! Hunger is too sharp to be jested with. As for +me, I shall starve for want of food. Now you may meet a luckier fate: +you are able to extract the square root, sir; and that's the very best +provision you can find here to live upon. But I! <span class="dir-i">[<i>Noise at a distance.</i>]</span> +Mercy on us! here they come again. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Confusion! Deserted on one side, and pressed on the other, +which way shall I turn?—This cavern may prove a safe retreat to us for +the present. I'll enter, cost what it will. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh Lord! no, don't, don't——We shall pay too dear for our +lodging, depend on't. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> This is no time for debating. You are at the mouth of it: lead +the way, Trudge. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> What! go in before your honour! I know my place better, I +assure you—I might walk into more mouths than one, perhaps. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Coward! then follow me. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Noise again.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> I must, sir; I must! Ah, Trudge, Trudge! what a damned hole +are you getting into! +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exeunt into a Cavern.</i> +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page17" name="page17"></a>[17]</span></p> + +<h3> +SCENE III. +</h3> +<p class="scene"> + <i>A cave, decorated with skins of wild beasts, feathers, &c. In the + middle of the scene, a rude kind of curtain, by way of door to an + inner apartment.</i> +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Inkle</span> and <span class="sc">Trudge</span>, as from the mouth of the cavern.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> So far, at least, we have proceeded with safety. Ha! no bad +specimen of savage elegance. These ornaments would be worth something +in England.—We have little to fear here, I hope: this cave rather +bears the pleasing face of a profitable adventure. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Very likely, sir! But for a pleasing face, it has the +cursed'st ugly month I ever saw in my life. Now do, sir, make off as +fast as you can. If we once get clear of the natives' houses, we have +little to fear from the lions and leopards: for by the appearance of +their parlours, they seem to have killed all the wild beast in the +country. Now pray, do, my good master, take my advice, and run away. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Rascal! Talk again of going out, and I'll flea you alive. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> That's just what I expect for coming in.—All that enter here +appear to have had their skins stript over their ears; and ours will be +kept for curiosities—We shall stand here, stuffed, for a couple of +white wonders. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> This curtain seems to lead to another apartment: I'll draw it. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> No, no, no, don't; don't. We may be called to account for +disturbing the company: you may get a curtain-lecture, perhaps, sir. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Peace, booby, and stand on your guard. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh! what will become of us! Some grim, seven foot fellow +ready to scalp us. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> By heaven! a woman. +</p> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>As the curtain draws, <span class="sc">Yarico</span> and <span class="sc">Wowski</span> discovered asleep.</i> +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page18" name="page18"></a>[18]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> A woman! <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span>—<span class="dir-i">[<i>Loud.</i>]</span> But let him come on; I'm +ready—dam'me, I don't fear facing the devil himself—Faith it is a +woman—fast asleep too. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> And beautiful as an angel! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> And egad! there seems to be a nice, little plump bit in the +corner; only she's an angel of rather a darker sort. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Hush! keep back—she wakes. <span class="dir-i">[<i><span class="sc">Yarico</span> comes +forward—<span class="sc">Inkle</span> and <span class="sc">Trudge</span> retire to opposite sides of +the scene.</i>]</span> +</p> + +<h3> +SONG.—YARICO. +</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>When the chace of day is done,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And the shaggy lion's skin,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Which for us, our warriors win,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Decks our cells at set of sun;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Worn with toil, with slap opprest,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>I press my mossy bed, and sink to rest.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>Then, once more, I see our train,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>With all our chase renew'd again:</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Once more 'tis day,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Once more our prey</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Gnashes his angry teeth, and foams in vain.</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Again, in sullen haste, he flies,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Ta'en in the toil, again he lies,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Again he roars—and, in my slumbers, dies.</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i><span class="sc">Inkle</span> and <span class="sc">Trudge</span> come forward.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Our language! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Zounds, she has thrown me into a cold sweat. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Hark! I heard a noise! Wowski, awake! whence can it proceed? +<span class="dir-i">[<i>She awakes <span class="sc">Wowski</span>, and they both come forward—<span class="sc">Yarico</span> towards +<span class="sc">Inkle</span>; <span class="sc">Wowski</span> towards <span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Ah! what form is this?——are you a man? +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page19" name="page19"></a>[19]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> True flesh and blood, my charming heathen, I promise you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> What harmony in his voice! What a shape! How fair his skin +too——<span class="dir-i">[<i>Gazing.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> This must be a lady of quality, by her staring. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Say, stranger, whence come you? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> From a far distant island; driven on this coast by distress, +and deserted by my companions. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> And do you know the danger that surrounds you here? Our woods +are filled with beasts of prey—my countrymen too——(yet, I think they +cou'd'nt find the heart)—might kill you.——It would be a pity if you +fell in their way——I think I should weep if you came to any harm. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> O ho! It's time, I see, to begin making interest with the +chamber maid. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Takes <span class="sc">Wowski</span> apart.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> How wild and beautiful! sure there is magic in her shape, and +she has rivetted me to the place. But where shall I look for safety? +let me fly and avoid my death. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Oh! no—don't depart.——But I will try to preserve you; and if +you are killed, Yarico must die too! Yet, 'tis I alone can save you; +your death is certain, without my assistance; and, indeed, indeed you +shall not want it. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> My kind Yarico! what means, then, must be used for my safety? +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> My cave must conceal you: none enter it, since my father was +slain in battle. I will bring you food by day, then lead you to our +unfrequented groves by moonlight, to listen to the nightingale. If you +should sleep, I'll watch you, and awake you when there's danger. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Generous maid! Then, to you will I owe my life; and whilst it +lasts, nothing shall part us. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> And shan't it, shan't it indeed? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> No, my Yarico! For when an opportunity + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page20" name="page20"></a>[20]</span> + + offers to return to my +country, you shall be my companion. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> What! cross the seas! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Yes, Help me to discover a vessel, and you shall enjoy +wonders. You shall be decked in silks, my brave maid, and have a house +drawn with horses to carry you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Nay, do not laugh at me—but is it so? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> It is indeed! +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Oh wonder! I wish my countrywomen could see me——But won't your +warriors kill us? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> No, our only danger on land is here. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Then let us retire further into the cave. Come—your safety is +in my keeping. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> I follow you—Yet, can you run some risk in following me? +</p> + +<h3> +DUETT. +</h3> +<p class="center"> +[O say, Bonny Lass.] +</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Inkle. <i>O say, simple maid, have you form'd any notion</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>Of all the rude dangers in crossing the ocean?</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>When winds whistle shrilly, ah! won't they remind you,</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>To sigh with regret, for the grot left behind you?</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Yar. <i>Ah! no, I could follow, and sail the world over,</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>Nor think of my grot, when I look at my lover;</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>The winds, which blow round us, your arms for my pillow,</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>Will lull us to sleep, whilst we're rocked by each billow.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Both. <i>O say then my true love, we never will sunder,</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>Nor shrink from the tempest, nor dread the big thunder:</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>Whilst constant, we'll laugh at all changes of weather,</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>And journey all over the world both together.</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[Exeunt; as retiring further into the cave. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page21" name="page21"></a>[21]</span></p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Manent <span class="sc">Trudge</span> and <span class="sc">Wowski</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Why, you speak English as well as I, my little Wowski. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Iss! and you learnt it from a strange man, that tumbled from +a big boat, many moons ago, you say? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss—Teach me—teach good many. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Then, what the devil made them so surprized at seeing us! was +he like me? <span class="dir-i">[<i>Wowski shakes her head.</i>]</span> Not so smart a body, mayhap. +Was his face, now, round and comely, and—eh! <span class="dir-i">[<i>Stroking his chin.</i>]</span> +Was it like mine? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Like dead leaf—brown and shrivel. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh, oh, an old shipwrecked sailor, I warrant. With white and +grey hair, eh, my pretty beauty spot? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss; all white. When night come, he put it in pocket. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh! wore a wig. But the old boy taught you something more +than English, I believe. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> The devil he did! What was it? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Teach me put dry grass, red hot, in hollow white stick. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Aye, what was that for? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Put in my mouth—go poff, poff! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Zounds! did he teach you to smoke? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> And what became of him at last? What did your countrymen do +for the poor fellow? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Eat him one day—Our chief kill him. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Mercy on us! what damned stomachs, to swallow a tough old +tar! Ah, poor Trudge! your killing comes next. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> No, no—not you—no—<span class="dir-i">[<i>Running to him anxiously.</i>]</span> +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page22" name="page22"></a>[22]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> No? why what shall I do, if I get in their paws? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> I fight for you! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Will you? Ecod she's a brave good-natured wench! she'll be +worth a hundred of your English wives.—Whenever they fight on their +husband's account, it's <i>with</i> him instead of <i>for</i> him, I fancy. But +how the plague am I to live here? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> I feed you—bring you kid. +</p> + +<h3> +SONG.—WOWSKI. +</h3> +<p class="center"> +[One day, I heard Mary say.] +</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>White man, never go away——</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Tell me why need you?</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Stay, with your Wowski, stay:</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Wowski will feed you.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Cold moons are now coming in;</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Ah, don't go grieve me!</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>I'll wrap you in leopard's skin:</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>White man, don't leave me.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>And when all the sky is blue,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Sun makes warm weather,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>I'll catch you a cockatoo,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Dress you in feather.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>When cold comes, or when 'tis hot,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Ah, don't go grieve me!</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Poor Wowski will be forgot—</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>White man, don't leave me!</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Zounds! leopard's skin for winter wear, and feathers for a +summer's suit! Ha, ha! I shall look like a walking hammer-cloth, at +Christmas, and an upright shuttlecock, in the dog days. And for all +this, if my master and I find our way to England, you shall be part of +our travelling equipage; and, when I get there, I'll give you a couple +of snug rooms, on a + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page23" name="page23"></a>[23]</span> + + first floor, and visit you every evening, as soon +as I come from the counting-house. Do you like it? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Damme, what a flashy fellow I shall seem in the city! I'll +get her a <i>white</i> boy to bring up the tea-kettle. Then I'll teach you +to write and dress hair. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> You great man in your country? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh yes, a very great man. I'm head clerk of the counting-house, +and first valet-de-chambre of the dressing-room. I pounce parchments, +powder hair, black shoes, ink paper, shave beards, and mend pens. But +hold! I had forgot one material point—you ar'n't married, I hope? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> No: you be my chum-chum! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> So I will. It's best, however, to be sure of her being +single; for Indian husbands are not quite so complaisant as English +ones, and the vulgar dogs might think of looking a little after their +spouses. But you have had a lover or two in your time; eh, Wowski? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Oh, iss—great many—I tell you. +</p> + +<h3> +DUETT. +</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> + +<p class="i2"> Wows. <i>Wampum, Swampum, Yanko, Lanko, Nanko, Pownatowski,</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>Black men—plenty—twenty—fight for me,</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>White man, woo you true?</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Trudge. <i>Who?</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Wows. <i style="padding-left:3em;">You.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Trudge. <i style="padding-left:5em;">Yes, pretty little Wowski!</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Wows. <i>Then I leave all, and follow thee.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Trudge. <i>Oh then turn about, my little tawny tight one!</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>Don't you like me?</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Wows. <i>Iss, you're like the snow!</i></p> +<p class="i24"> <i>If you slight one——</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Trudge. <i>Never, not for any white one;</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>You are beautiful as any sloe.</i></p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page24" name="page24"></a>[24]</span></p> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Wows. <i>Wars, jars, scars, can't expose ye,</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>In our grot——</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Trudge. <i style="padding-left:9em;">So snug and cosey!</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Wows. <i>Flowers, neatly</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>Pick'd, shall sweetly</i></p> +<p class="i34"> <i>Make your bed.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Trudge. <i>Coying, toying,</i></p> +<p class="i24"> <i>With a rosy</i></p> +<p class="i34"> <i>Posey,</i></p> +<p class="i40"> <i>When I'm dosey,</i></p> +<p class="i10"> <i>Bear-skin nightcaps too shall warm my head.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Both. <i>Bearskin nightcaps, &c. &c.</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h2> + ACT THE SECOND. +</h2> +<h3> +SCENE I. +</h3> +<p class="scene"> + <i>The Quay at Barbadoes, with an Inn upon it. People employed in + unlading vessels, carrying bales of goods, &c.</i> +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter several <span class="sc">Planters</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>1st Plant.</i> I saw her this morning, gentlemen, you may depend on't. My +telescope never fails me. I popp'd upon her as I was taking a peep from +my balcony. A brave tight ship, I tell you, bearing down directly for +Barbadoes here. +</p> +<p> +<i>2d Plant.</i> Ods, my life! rare news! We have not had a vessel arrive in +our harbour these six weeks. +</p> +<p> +<i>3d Plant.</i> And the last brought only Madam Narcissa, our Governor's +daughter, from England; with a parcel of lazy, idle, white folks about +her. Such cargoes will never do for our trade, neighbour. +</p> +<p> +<i>2d Plant.</i> No, no; we want slaves. A terrible + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page25" name="page25"></a>[25]</span> + + dearth of 'em in Barbadoes, +lately! But your dingy passengers for my money. Give me a vessel like a +collier, where all the lading tumbles out as black as my hat. But are you +sure, now, you ar'n't mistaken? <span class="dir-i">[<i>To 1st Planter.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>1st Plant.</i> Mistaken! 'sbud, do you doubt my glass? I can discover a +gull by it six leagues off: I could see every thing as plain as if I +was on board. +</p> +<p> +<i>2d Plant.</i> Indeed! and what were her colours? +</p> +<p> +<i>1st Plant.</i> Um! why English——or Dutch——or French——I don't +exactly remember. +</p> +<p> +<i>2d Plant.</i> What were the sailors aboard? +</p> +<p> +<i>1st Plant.</i> Eh! why they were English too——or Dutch——or +French——I can't perfectly recollect. +</p> +<p> +<i>2d Plant.</i> Your glass, neighbour, is a little like a glass too much: +it makes you forget every thing you ought to remember. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Cry without</i>, +"A sail, a sail!"]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>1st Plant.</i> Egad, but I'm right though. Now, gentlemen! +</p> +<p> +<i>All.</i> Aye, aye; the devil take the hindmost. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exeunt hastily.</i> +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Narcissa</span> and <span class="sc">Patty</span>.</i> +</p> + +<h3> +SONG. +</h3> +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>Freshly now the breeze is blowing,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>As yon ship at anchor rides;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Sullen waves, incessant flowing,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Rudely dash against the sides.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>So my heart, its course impéded,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Beats in my perturbed breast;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Doubts, like waves by waves succeeded,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Rise, and still deny it rest.</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Well, ma'am, as I was saying—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> Well, say no more of what you were saying—Sure, Patty, you +forget where you are; a little caution will be necessary now, I think. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page26" name="page26"></a>[26]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Lord, madam, how is it possible to help talking? We are in +Barbadoes here, to be sure—but then, ma'am, one may let out a little +in a private morning's walk by ourselves. +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> Nay, it's the same thing with you in doors. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> I never blab, ma'am, never, as I hope for a gown. +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> And your never blabbing, as you call it, depends chiefly on that +hope, I believe. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> I have told the story of our voyage, indeed, to old Guzzle, +the butler. +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> And thus you lead him to imagine I am but little inclined to the +match. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Lord, ma'am, how could that be? Why I never said a word about +Captain Campley. +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> Hush! hush! for heaven's sake. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Aye! there it is now. But if our voyage from England was so +pleasant, it wasn't owing to Mr. Inkle, I'm certain. He didn't play the +fiddle in our cabin, and dance on the deck, and come languishing with a +glass of warm water in his hand, when we were sea-sick. Ah, ma'am, that +water warm'd your heart, I'm confident. Mr. Inkle! No, no; Captain +Cam—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> There is no end to this! Remember, Patty, keep your secrecy, or +you entirely lose my favour. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Never fear me, ma'am. But if somebody I know is not acquainted +with the Governor, there's such a thing as dancing at balls, and +squeezing hands when you lead up, and squeezing them again when you +cast down. I'm as close as a patch box. Mum's the word, ma'am, I +promise you. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> How awkward is my present situation! Promised to one, who, +perhaps, may never again be heard of; and who, I am sure, if he ever +appears to claim me, will do it merely on the score of interest—pressed +too by another, who has already, I fear, too much + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page27" name="page27"></a>[27]</span> + + interest in my +heart—what can I do? What plan can I follow? +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Campley</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Follow my advice, Narcissa, by all means. Enlist with me under +the best banners in the world. General Hymen for my money! little +Cupid's his drummer: he has been beating a round rub-a-dub on our +hearts, and we have only to obey the word of command, fall into the +ranks of matrimony, and march through life together. +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> Then consider our situation. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> That has been duly considered. In short, the case stands +exactly thus—your intended spouse is all for money; I am all for love. +He is a rich rogue; I am rather a poor honest fellow. He would pocket +your fortune; I will take you without a fortune in your pocket. +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> Oh! I am sensible of the favour, most gallant Captain Campley; +and my father, no doubt, will be very much obliged to you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Aye, there's the devil of it! Sir Christopher Curry's confounded +good character knocks me up at once. Yet I am not acquainted with him +neither; not known to him even by sight; being here only as a private +gentleman, on a visit to my old relation, out of regimentals, and so +forth; and not introduced to the Governor, as other officers of the +place. But then, the report of his hospitality—his odd, blunt, whimsical +friendship—his whole behaviour— +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> All stare you in the face; eh, Campley? +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> They do, till they put me out of countenance. +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> What signifies talking to <i>me</i>, when you have such opposition +from others? Why hover about the city, instead of boldly attacking the +guard? Wheel about, captain! face the enemy! March! Charge! Rout +'em!—Drive 'em before you, and then— +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page28" name="page28"></a>[28]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> And then— +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> Lud ha' mercy on the poor city! +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Patty</span>, hastily.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Oh lud, ma'am, I'm frightened out of my wits! sure as I'm +alive, ma'am, Mr. Inkle is not dead; I saw his man, ma'am, just now, +coming ashore in a boat, with other passengers, from the vessel that's +come to the island. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> Then one way or other I must determine.—<span class="dir-i">[<i>To <span class="sc">Campley</span>.</i>]</span> Look'ye, +Mr. Campley, something has happened which makes me wave ceremonies.—If +you mean to apply to my father, remember, that delays are dangerous. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Indeed! +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> I mayn't be always in the same mind, you know. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Smiling.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Nay, then—Gad, I'm almost afraid too—but living in this state +of doubt is torment. I'll e'en put a good face on the matter; cock my +hat; make my bow; and try to reason the Governor into compliance. Faint +heart never won a fair lady. +</p> + +<h3> +SONG. +</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>Why should I vain fears discover,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Prove a dying, sighing swain?</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Why turn shilly-shally lover,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Only to prolong my pain?</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>When we woo the dear enslaver,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Boldly ask, and she will grant;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>How should we obtain a favour,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>But by telling what we want?</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Trudge</span> and <span class="sc">Wowski</span>, (as from the ship), with a +dirty runner to one of the inns.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Run.</i> This way, sir; if you will let me recommend—— +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page29" name="page29"></a>[29]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Come along, Wows! Take care of your furs, and your feathers, +my girl! +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> That's right.—Somebody might steal 'em, perhaps. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Steal!—What that? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh Lord! see what one loses by not being born in a christian +country. +</p> +<p> +<i>Run.</i> If you would, sir, but mention to your master, the house that +belongs to my master; the best accommodations on the quay.— +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> What's your sign, my lad? +</p> +<p> +<i>Run.</i> The Crown, sir.—Here it is. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Well, get us a room for half an hour, and we'll come: and +harkee! let it be light and airy, d'ye hear? My master has been used to +your open apartments lately. +</p> +<p> +<i>Run.</i> Depend on it.—Much obliged to you, sir. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Who be that fine man? He great prince? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> A prince—Ha! ha!——No, not quite a prince—but he belongs +to the Crown. But how do you like this, Wows? Isn't it fine? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Wonder! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Fine men, eh? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss! all white; like you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Yes, all the fine men are like me. As different from your +people as powder and ink, or paper and blacking. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> And fine lady—Face like snow. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> What! the fine lady's complexions? Oh, yes, exactly; for too +much heat very often dissolves 'em! Then their dress, too. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Your countrymen dress so? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Better, better a great deal. Why, a young flashy Englishman +will sometimes carry a whole fortune on his back. But did you mind the +women? + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page30" name="page30"></a>[30]</span> + + All here—and there; <span class="dir-i">[<i>Pointing before and behind.</i>]</span> they have it +all from us in England.—And then the fine things they carry on their +heads, Wowski. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss. One lady carry good fish——so fine, she call every body +to look at her. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Pshaw! an old woman bawling flounders. But the fine girls we +meet, here, on the quay—so round and so plump! +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> You not love me now? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Not love you! Zounds, have not I given you proofs? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss. Great many: but now you get here, you forget poor Wowski! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Not I. I'll stick to you like wax. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Ah! I fear! What make you love me now? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Gratitude, to be sure. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> What that? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Ha! this it is, now, to live without education. The poor dull +devils of her country are all in the practice of gratitude, without +finding out what it means; while we can tell the meaning of it, with +little or no practice at all.—Lord, Lord, what a fine advantage +christian learning is! Hark'ee, Wows! +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Now we've accomplished our landing, I'll accomplish you. You +remember the instructions I gave you on the voyage? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Let's see now—What are you to do, when I introduce you to +the nobility, gentry, and others—of my acquaintance? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Make believe sit down; then get up. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Let me see you do it. <span class="dir-i">[<i>She makes a low courtesy.</i>]</span> Very +well! and how are you to recommend yourself, when you have nothing to +say, amongst all our great friends? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Grin—show my teeth. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page31" name="page31"></a>[31]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Right! they'll think you've lived with people of fashion. But +suppose you meet an old shabby friend in misfortune, that you don't +wish to be seen speak to—what would you do? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Look blind—not see him. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Why would you do that? +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> 'Cause I can't see good friend in distress. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> That's a good girl! and I wish every body could boast of so +kind a motive for such cursed cruel behaviour.—Lord! how some of your +flashy bankers' clerks have <i>cut</i> me in Threadneedle street.—But come, +though we have got among fine folks, here, in an English settlement, I +won't be ashamed of my old acquaintance: yet, for my own part, I should +not be sorry, now, to see my old friend with a new face.—Odsbobs! I +see Mr. Inkle—Go in, Wows; call for what you like best. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Then I call for you—ah! I fear I not see you often now. But +you come soon—— +</p> + +<h3> +SONG. +</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>Remember when we walked alone,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>And heard, so gruff, the lion growl:</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And when the moon so bright it shone,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>We saw the wolf look up and howl;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>I led you well, safe to our cell,</i></p> +<p class="i18"> <i>While tremblingly,</i></p> +<p class="i18"> <i>You said to me,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>—And kiss'd so sweet—dear Wowski tell,</i></p> +<p class="i18"> <i>How could I live without ye?</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>But now you come across the sea,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>And tell me here no monsters roar;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>You'll walk alone, and leave poor me,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>When wolves, to fright you, howl no more.</i></p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page32" name="page32"></a>[32]</span></p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>But ah! think well on our old cell,</i></p> +<p class="i18"> <i>Where tremblingly,</i></p> +<p class="i18"> <i>You kiss'd poor me—</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Perhaps you'll say—dear Wowski tell,</i></p> +<p class="i18"> <i>How can I live without ye?</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit <span class="sc">Wowski</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Who have we here? +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">First Planter</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Hark'ee, young man! Is that young Indian of yours going to our +market? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Not she—she never went to market in all her life. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> I mean, is she for our sale of slaves? Our black fair? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> A black fair, ha! ha! ha! You hold it on a brown green, I +suppose. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> She's your slave, I take it? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Yes; and I'm her humble servant, I take it. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Aye, aye, natural enough at sea.—But at how much do you value +her? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Just as much as she has saved me—My own life. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Pshaw! you mean to sell her? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Staring.</i>]</span> Zounds! what a devil of a fellow! Sell Wows!—my +poor, dear, dingy, wife! +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Come, come, I've heard your story from the ship.—Don't let's +haggle; I'll bid as fair as any trader amongst us. But no tricks upon +travellers, young man, to raise your price.——Your wife, indeed! Why +she's no christian! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> No; but I am; so I shall do as I'd be done by: and, if you +were a good one yourself, you'd know, that fellow-feeling for a poor +body, who wants your help, is the noblest mark of our religion.—I + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page33" name="page33"></a>[33]</span> + + wou'dn't be articled clerk to such a fellow for the world. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Hey-day! the booby's in love with her! Why, sure, friend, you +would not live here with a black? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Plague on't; there it is. I shall be laughed out of my +honesty, here.—But you may be jogging, friend; I may feel a little +queer, perhaps, at showing her face—but, dam me, if ever I do any +thing to make me asham'd of showing my own. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Why, I tell you, her very complexion—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Rot her complexion—I'll tell you what, Mr. <i>Fair-trader</i>, if +your head and heart were to change places, I've a notion you'd be as +black in the face as an ink-bottle. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Pshaw! the fellow's a fool—a rude rascal—he ought to be sent +back to the savages again. He's not fit to live among us christians. +</p> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit <span class="sc">Planter</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh, here comes my master, at last. +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Inkle</span>, and a second <span class="sc">Planter</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Nay, sir, I understand your customs well; your Indian markets +are not unknown to me. +</p> +<p> +<i>2d Plant.</i> And, as you seem to understand business, I need not tell +you, that dispatch is the soul of it. Her name you say is— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Yarico: but urge this no more, I beg you; I must not listen +to it: for, to speak freely, her anxious care of me demands, that +here,—though here it may seem strange—I should avow my love for her. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Lord help you for a merchant!—It's the first time I ever +heard a trader talk of love; except, indeed, the love of trade, and the +love of the <i>Sweet Molly</i>, my ship. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Then, sir, you cannot feel my situation. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Oh yes, I can! we have a hundred such cases just after a +voyage; but they never last long on + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page34" name="page34"></a>[34]</span> + + land. It's amazing how constant +a young man is in a ship! But, in two words, will you dispose of her, +or no? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> In two words, then, meet me here at noon, and we'll speak +further on this subject: and lest you think I trifle with your +business, hear why I wish this pause. Chance threw me, on my passage to +your island, among a savage people. Deserted,—defenceless,—cut off +from companions,—my life at stake—to this young creature I owe my +preservation;—she found me, like a dying bough, torn from its kindred +branches; which, as it drooped, she moistened with her tears. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Nay, nay, talk like a man of this world. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Your patience.—And yet your interruption goes to my present +feelings; for on our sail to this your island—the thoughts of time +mispent—doubt—fears—for call it what you will—have much perplexed +me; and as your spires arose, reflections still rose with them; for +here, sir, lie my interests, great connexions, and other weighty +matters—which now I need not mention—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> But which her presence here will mar. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Even so—And yet the gratitude I owe her— +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Pshaw! So because she preserved your life, your gratitude is +to make you give up all you have to live upon. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Why, in that light indeed—This never struck me yet, I'll +think on't. +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> Aye, aye, do so—Why, what return can the wench wish more than +taking her from a wild, idle, savage people, and providing for her, +here, with reputable hard work, in a genteel, polished, tender, +christian country? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Well, sir, at noon—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Plant.</i> I'll meet you—but remember, young gentleman, you must get her +off your hands—you must, indeed.—I shall have her a bargain, I see +that—your + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page35" name="page35"></a>[35]</span> + + servant!—Zounds, how late it is—but never be put out of +your way for a woman—I must run—my wife will play the devil with me +for keeping breakfast. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Trudge. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Sir! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Have you provided a proper apartment? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Yes, sir, at the Crown here; a neat, spruce room they tell +me. You have not seen such a convenient lodging this good while, I +believe. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Are there no better inns in the town? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Um——Why there is the Lion, I hear, and the Bear, and the +Boar—but we saw them at the door of all our late lodgings, and found +but bad accommodations within, sir. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Well, run to the end of the quay, and conduct Yarico hither. +The road is straight before you: you can't miss it. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Very well, sir. What a fine thing it is to turn one's back on +a master, without running into a wolf's belly! One can follow one's +nose on a message here, and be sure it won't be bit off by the way. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Let me reflect a little. Part with her!—My interest, honour, +engagements to Narcissa, all demand it. My father's precepts too—I can +remember, when I was a boy, what pains he took to mould me.—School'd +me from morn to night—and still the burden of his song was—Prudence! +Prudence! Thomas, and you'll rise. His maxims rooted in my heart, and +as I grew—<i>they</i> grew; till I was reckoned, among our friends, a +steady, sober, solid, good young man; and all the neighbours call'd +me <i>the prudent Mr. Thomas</i>. And shall I now, at once, kick down the +character which I have raised so warily?—Part with her—sell her!—The +thought once struck me in our cabin, as she lay sleeping by me; but, in +her slumbers, she passed her arm around me, murmured a blessing on my +name, and broke my meditations. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page36" name="page36"></a>[36]</span></p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Yarico</span> and <span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> My love! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> I have been showing her all the wigs and bales of goods we +met on the quay, sir. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Oh! I have feasted my eyes on wonders. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> And I'll go feast on a slice of beef, in the inn, here. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> + [<i>Exit.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> My mind has been so busy, that I almost forgot even you. I wish +you had stayed with me—You would have seen such sights! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Those sights have become familiar to me, Yarico. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> And yet I wish they were not—You might partake my pleasures—but +now again, methinks, I will not wish so—for, with too much gazing, you +might neglect poor <i>Yarico</i>. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Nay, nay, my care is still for you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> I am sure it is: and if I thought it was not, I would tell you +tales about our poor old grot—bid you remember our palm-tree near the +brook, where in the shade you often stretched yourself, while I would +take your head upon my lap, and sing my love to sleep. I know you'll +love me then. +</p> + +<h3> +SONG. +</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>Our grotto was the sweetest place!</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>The bending boughs, with fragrance blowing,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Would check the brook's impetuous pace,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Which murmur'd to be stopp'd from flowing.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>'Twas there we met, and gaz'd our fill:</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Ah! think on this, and love me still.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>'Twas then my bosom first knew fear,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>—Fear to an Indian maid a stranger—</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>The war-song, arrows, hatchet, spear,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>All warn'd me of my lover's danger.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>For him did cares my bosom fill:—</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Ah! think on this, and love me still.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page37" name="page37"></a>[37]</span></p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>For him, by day, with care conceal'd,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>To search for food I climb'd the mountain;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And when the night no form reveal'd,</i></p> +<p class="i4"> <i>Jocund we sought the bubbling fountain.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Then, then would joy my bosom fill;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Ah! think on this and love me still.</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exeunt.</i> +</p> + +<h3> +SCENE II. +</h3> +<p class="scene"> + <i>An Apartment in the House of <span class="sc">Sir Christopher Curry</span>.</i> +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Sir Christopher</span> and <span class="sc">Medium</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> I tell you, old Medium, you are all wrong. Plague on your +doubts! Inkle <i>shall</i> have my Narcissa. Poor fellow! I dare say he's +finely chagrined at this temporary parting—Eat up with the blue +devils, I warrant. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Eat up by the black devils, I warrant; for I left him in hellish +hungry company. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Pshaw! he'll arrive with the next vessel, depend +on't—besides, have not I had this in view ever since they were +children? I must and will have it so, I tell you. Is not it, as it +were, a marriage made above? They <i>shall</i> meet, I'm positive. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Shall they? Then they must meet where the marriage was made; for +hang me, if I think it will ever happen below. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Ha!—and if that is the case—hang me, if I think you'll +ever be at the celebration of it. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Yet, let me tell you, Sir Christopher Curry, my character is as +unsullied as a sheet of white paper. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Well said, old fool's-cap! and it's as mere a blank as a +sheet of white paper. You are honest, + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page38" name="page38"></a>[38]</span> + + old Medium, by comparison, just +as a fellow sentenced to transportation is happier than his companion +condemned to the gallows—Very worthy, because you are no rogue; tender +hearted, because you never go to fires and executions; and an affectionate +father and husband, because you never pinch your children, or kick your +wife out of bed. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> And that, as the world goes, is more than every man can say for +himself. Yet, since you force me to speak my positive qualities—but, +no matter,—you remember me in London; didn't I, as member of the +Humane Society, bring a man out of the New River, who, it was +afterwards found, had done me an injury? +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> And, dam'me, if I would not kick any man into the New River +that had done me an injury. There's the difference of our honesty. +Oons! if you want to be an honest fellow, act from the impulse of +nature. Why, you have no more gall than a pigeon. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> And you have as much gall as a turkey cock, and are as hot into +the bargain—You're always so hasty; among the hodge-podge of your +foibles, passion is always predominant. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> So much the better.——Foibles, quotha? foibles are foils +that give additional lustre to the gems of virtue. You have not so many +foils as I, perhaps. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> And, what's more, I don't want 'em, Sir Christopher, I thank you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Very true; for the devil a gem have you to set off with 'em. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Well, well; I never mention errors; that, I flatter myself, is +no disagreeable quality.—It don't become me to say you are hot. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> 'Sblood! but it does become you: it becomes every man, +especially an Englishman, to speak the dictates of his heart. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page39" name="page39"></a>[39]</span></p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Servant</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Serv.</i> An English vessel, sir, just arrived in the harbour. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> A vessel! Od's my life!——Now for the news—If it is but as +I hope—Any dispatches? +</p> +<p> +<i>Serv.</i> This letter, sir, brought by a sailor from the quay. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Opening the letter</i>]</span> Huzza! here it is. He's safe—safe +and sound at Barbadoes. <span class="dir-i">[Reading]</span>—— +</p> +<p class="quote"> + <i>Sir,<br /> + My master, Mr. Inkle, is just arrived in your harbour</i>, +</p> +<p> +Here, read, read! old Medium— +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> <span class="dir-i">[Reading.]</span> Um'— +</p> +<p class="quote"> + <i>Your harbour;—we were taken up by an English vessel, on the + 14th ult<sup>o</sup>. He only waits till I have puffed his hair, to pay + his respects to you, and Miss Narcissa: In the mean time, he has + ordered me to brush up this letter for your honour, from</i> +</p> +<p class="quote"> + <i>Your humble Servant, to command</i>,<br /> + <span class="sc">Timothy Trudge.</span> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Hey day! Here's a style! the voyage has jumbled the fellow's +brains out of their places; the water has made his head turn round. But +no matter; mine turns round, too. I'll go and prepare Narcissa directly; +they shall be married slap-dash, as soon as he comes from the quay. From +Neptune to Hymen: from the hammock to the bridal bed—Ha! old boy! +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Well, well; don't flurry yourself—you're so hot! +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Hot! blood, ar'n't I in the West Indies? Ar'n't I governor +of Barbadoes? He shall have her as soon as he sets his foot on shore. +"But, plague on't, he's so slow."—She shall rise to him like Venus out +of the sea. His hair puffed? He ought to have been puffing, here, out +of breath, by this time. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page40" name="page40"></a>[40]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Very true; but Venus's husband is always supposed to be lame, +you know, Sir Christopher. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Well, now do, my good fellow, run down to the shore, and see +what detains him. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Hurrying him off.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Well, well; I will, I will. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> In the mean time I'll get ready Narcissa, and all shall be +concluded in a second. My heart's set upon it.—Poor fellow! after all +his rumbles, and tumbles, and jumbles, and fits of despair—I shall be +rejoiced to see him. I have not seen him since he was that high.—But, +zounds! he's so tardy! +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Servant</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Serv.</i> A strange gentleman, sir, come from the quay, desires to see you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> From the quay? Od's my life!——'Tis he—'Tis Inkle! Show +him up directly. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit Servant.</i> +</p> +<p> +The rogue is expeditious after all.—I'm so happy. +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Campley</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +My dear fellow! <span class="dir-i">[<i>Shakes hands.</i>]</span> I'm rejoiced to see you. Welcome; +welcome here, with all my soul! +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> This reception, Sir Christopher, is beyond my warmest +wishes—Unknown to you—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Aye, aye; we shall be better acquainted by and by. Well, and +how, eh! tell me!—But old Medium and I have talked over your affair a +hundred times a day, ever since Narcissa arrived. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> You surprise me! Are you then really acquainted with the whole +affair? +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Every tittle. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> And, can you, sir, pardon what is past?— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Pooh! how could you help it? +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page41" name="page41"></a>[41]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Very true—sailing in the same ship—and—But when you consider +the past state of my mind——the black prospect before me.— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Ha! ha! Black enough, I dare say. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> The difficulty I have felt in bringing myself face to face to you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> That I am convinced of—but I knew you would come the first +opportunity. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Very true: yet the distance between the Governor of Barbadoes +and myself. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Bowing.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Yes—a devilish way asunder. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Granted, sir: which has distressed me with the cruellest doubts +as to our meeting. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> It was a toss up. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> The old gentleman seems devilish kind.—Now to soften him. +<span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> Perhaps, sir, in your younger days, you may have been in the +same situation yourself. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Who? I! 'sblood! no, never in my life. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> I wish you had, with all my soul, Sir Christopher. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Upon my soul, Sir, I am very much obliged to you. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Bowing.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> As what I now mention might have greater weight with you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Pooh! pr'ythee! I tell you I pitied you from the bottom of +my heart. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Indeed! if, with your leave, I may still venture to mention +Miss Narcissa— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> An impatient, sensible young dog! like me to a hair! Set +your heart at rest, my boy. She's yours; yours before to-morrow morning. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Amazement! I can scarce believe my senses. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Zounds! you ought to be out of your senses: but dispatch—make +short work of it, ever while you live, my boy. Here she is. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page42" name="page42"></a>[42]</span></p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Narcissa</span> and <span class="sc">Patty</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +Here girl: here's your swain. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>To <span class="sc">Nar.</span></i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> I just parted with my Narcissa, on the quay, sir. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Did you! Ah, sly dog——had a meeting before you came to the +old gentleman.—But here—Take him, and make much of him—and, for fear +of further separations, you shall e'en be tacked together directly. +What say you, girl? +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> Will my Narcissa consent to my happiness? +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> I always obey my father's commands, with pleasure, sir. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Od! I'm so happy, I hardly know which way to turn; but we'll +have the carriage directly; drive down to the quay; trundle old Spintext +into church, and hey for matrimony! +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> With all my heart, Sir Christopher; the sooner the better. +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<span class="sc">Sir Christopher, Campley, Narcissa, Patty.</span> +</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Sir Chr. <i>Your Colinettes, and Arriettes,</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>Your Damons of the grove,</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>Who like fallals, and pastorals,</i></p> +<p class="i24"> <i>Waste years in love;</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>But modern folks know better jokes,</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>And, courting once begun,</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>To church they hop at once—and pop—</i></p> +<p class="i24"> <i>Egad, all's done!</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> All. <i>In life we prance a country dance,</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>Where every couple stands;</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>Their partners set—a while curvet—</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>But soon join hands.</i></p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page43" name="page43"></a>[43]</span></p> + +<p class="i2"> Nar. <i>When at our feet, so trim and neat,</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>The powder'd lover sues,</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>He vows he dies, the lady sighs,</i></p> +<p class="i24"> <i>But can't refuse.</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>Ah! how can she unmov'd e'er see</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>Her swain his death incur?</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>If once the squire is seen expire,</i></p> +<p class="i24"> <i>He lives with her.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> All. <i>In life, &c. &c.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> Patty. <i>When John and Bet are fairly met,</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>John boldly tries his luck;</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>He steals a buss, without more fuss,</i></p> +<p class="i24"> <i>The bargain's struck.</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>Whilst things below are going so,</i></p> +<p class="i14"> <i>Is Betty pray to blame?</i></p> +<p class="i12"> <i>Who knows up stairs, her mistress fares</i></p> +<p class="i24"> <i>Just, just the same.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> All. <i>In life we prance, &c. &c.</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[Exeunt. +</p> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + +<h2> + ACT THE THIRD. +</h2> +<h3> +SCENE I. +</h3> +<p class="scene"> + <i>The Quay.</i> +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Patty</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Mercy on us! what a walk I have had of it! Well, matters go on +swimmingly at the Governor's—The old gentleman has ordered the carriage, +and the young couple will be whisked here, to church, + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page44" name="page44"></a>[44]</span> + + in a quarter of an +hour. My business is to prevent young sobersides, young Inkle, from +appearing, to interrupt the ceremony.—Ha! here's the Crown, where I +hear he is housed: So now to find Trudge, and trump up a story, in the +true style of a chambermaid. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Goes into the house.</i>]</span> <span class="dir-i">[<i><span class="sc">Patty</span> +within.</i>]</span> I tell you it don't signify, and I will come up. <span class="dir-i">[<i><span class="sc">Trudge</span> +within.</i>]</span> But it does signify, and you can't come up. +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Re-enter <span class="sc">Patty</span> with <span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> You had better say at once, I shan't. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Well then, you shan't. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Savage! Pretty behaviour you have picked up amongst the +Hottypots! Your London civility, like London itself, will soon be lost +in smoke, Mr. Trudge: and the politeness you have studied so long in +Threadneedle-street, blotted out by the blacks you have been living +with. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> No such thing; I practised my politeness all the while I was +in the woods. Our very lodging taught me good manners; for I could +never bring myself to go into it without bowing. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Don't tell me! A mighty civil reception you give a body, +truly, after a six weeks parting. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Gad, you're right; I am a little out here, to be sure. +<span class="dir-i">[<i>Kisses her.</i>]</span> Well, how do you do? +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Pshaw, fellow! I want none of your kisses. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Oh! very well—I'll take it again. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Offers to kiss her.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Be quiet. I want to see Mr. Inkle: I have a message to him +from Miss Narcissa. I shall get a sight of him, now, I believe. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> May be not. He's a little busy at present. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page45" name="page45"></a>[45]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Busy—ha! Plodding! What he's at his multiplication table again? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Very likely; so it would be a pity to interrupt him, you know. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Certainly; and the whole of my business was to prevent his +hurrying himself—Tell him, we shan't be ready to receive him, at the +Governor's, till to-morrow, d'ye hear? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> No? +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> No. Things are not prepared. The place isn't in order; and the +servants have not had proper notice of the arrival. Sir Christopher +intends Mr. Inkle, you know, for his son-in-law, and must receive him +in public form, (which can't be till to-morrow morning) for the honour +of his governorship: why the whole island will ring of it. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> The devil it will! +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Yes; they've talked of nothing but my mistress's beauty and +fortune for these six weeks. Then he'll be introduced to the bride, you +know. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> O, my poor master! +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Then a breakfast; then a procession; then—if nothing happens +to prevent it, he'll get into church, and be married in a crack. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Then he'll get into a damn'd scrape, in a crack. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Hey-day! a scrape! How! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Nothing, nothing——It must out——Patty! +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Well! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Can you keep a secret? +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Try me. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Then <span class="dir-i">[<i>Whispering.</i>]</span> My master keeps a girl. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Oh, monstrous! another woman? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> As sure as one and one make two. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> Rare news for my mistress!—Why + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page46" name="page46"></a>[46]</span> + + I can hardly believe +it: the grave, sly, steady, sober Mr. Inkle, do such a thing! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Pooh! it's always your sly, sober fellows, that go the most +after the girls. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Well; I should sooner suspect <i>you</i>. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Me? Oh Lord! he! he!—Do you think any smart, tight, little, +black-eyed wench, would be struck with my figure? <span class="dir-i">[<i>Conceitedly.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Pshaw! never mind your figure. Tell me how it happened? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> You shall hear: when the ship left us ashore, my master +turned as pale as a sheet of paper. It isn't every body that's blest +with courage, Patty. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> True. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> However, I bid him cheer up; told him, to stick to my elbow: +took the lead, and began our march. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Well? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> We hadn't gone far, when a damn'd one-eyed black boar, that +grinned like a devil, came down the hill in jog trot! My Master melted +as fast as a pot of pomatum! +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Mercy on us! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> But what does I do, but whips out my desk knife, that I used +to cut the quills with at home; met the monster, and slit up his throat +like a pen—The boar bled like a pig. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Lord! Trudge, what a great traveller you are! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Yes; I remember we fed on the flitch for a week. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Well, well; but the lady. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> The lady! Oh, true. By and by we came to a cave—a large +hollow room, under ground, like a warehouse in the Adelphi.—Well; +there we were half an hour, before I could get him to go in; there's no +accounting for fear, you know. At + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page47" name="page47"></a>[47]</span> + + last, in we went, to a place hung round +with skins, as it might be a furrier's shop, and there was a fine lady, +snoring on a bow and arrows. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> What, all alone? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Eh!—No—no.—Hum—She had a young lion, by way of a lap-dog. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Gemini; what did you do? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Gave her a jog, and she opened her eyes—she struck my master +immediately. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Mercy on us! with what? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> With her beauty, you ninny, to be sure: and they soon brought +matters to bear. The wolves witnessed the contract—I gave her away—The +crows croaked amen; and we had board and lodging for nothing. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> And this is she he has brought to Barbadoes? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> The same. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Well; and tell me, Trudge;—she's pretty, you say—Is she fair +or brown? or—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Um! she's a good comely copper. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> How! a tawny? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Yes, quite dark; but very elegant; like a Wedgwood tea-pot. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Oh! the monster! the filthy fellow! Live with a black-a-moor! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Why, there's no great harm in't, I hope? +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Faugh! I wou'dn't let him kiss me for the world: he'd make my +face all smutty. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Zounds! you are mighty nice all of a sudden; but I'd have you +to know, Madam Patty, that Black-a-moor ladies, as you call 'em, are +some of the very few whose complexions never rub off! 'Sbud, if they +did, Wows and I should have changed faces by this time—But mum; not a +word for your life. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page48" name="page48"></a>[48]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Not I! except to the Governor and family. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> But I +must run—and, remember, Trudge, if your master has made a mistake +here, he has himself to thank for his pains. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit <span class="sc">Patty</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Pshaw! these girls are so plaguy proud of their white and +red! but I won't be shamed out of Wows, that's flat.— +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Wowski</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +Ah! Wows, I'm going to leave you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> For what you leave me? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Master says I must. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Ah, but you say in your country, women know best; and I say you +not leave me. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Master, to be sure, while we were in the forest, taught +Yarico to read, with his pencil and pocket-book. What then? Wows comes +on fine and fast in her lessons. A little awkward at first, to be +sure—Ha! ha!—She's so used to feed with her hands, that I can't get +her to eat her victuals, in a genteel, christian way, for the soul of +me; when she has stuck a morsel on her fork, she don't know how to +guide it, but pops up her knuckles to her mouth, and the meat goes up +to her ear. But, no matter—After all the fine, flashy London girls, +Wowski's the wench for my money. +</p> + +<h3> +SONG. +</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>A clerk I was in London gay,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Jemmy linkum feedle,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And went in boots to see the play,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Merry fiddlem tweedle.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>I march'd the lobby, twirled my stick,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Diddle, daddle, deedle;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>The girls all cry'd, "He's quite the kick."</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Oh, Jemmy linkum feedle.</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page49" name="page49"></a>[49]</span></p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>Hey! for America I sail,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Yankee doodle, deedle;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>The sailor-boys cry'd, "Smoke his tail!"</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Jemmy linkum feedle.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>On English belles I turned my back,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Diddle, daddle, deedle;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>And got a foreign fair quite black,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>O twaddle, twaddle, tweedle!</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>Your London girls, with roguish trip,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Wheedle, wheedle, wheedle,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>May boast their pouting under lip,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Fiddle, faddle, feedle.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>My Wows would beat a hundred such,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Diddle, daddle, deedle,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Whose upper lip pouts twice as much,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>O, pretty double wheedle!</i></p> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"> <i>Rings I'll buy to deck her toes;</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Jemmy linkum feedle;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>A feather fine shall grace her nose,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Waving siddle seedle.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>With jealousy I ne'er shall burst;</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Who'd steal my bone of bone-a?</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>A white Othello, I can trust</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>A dingy Desdemona.</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<p class="dir-r"> +[Exeunt. +</p> + +<h3> +SCENE II. +</h3> +<p class="scene"> + <i>A Room in the Crown.</i> +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +[<i>Enter <span class="sc">Inkle</span>.</i>] +</p> + +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> I know not what to think—I have given her distant hints of +parting; but still, so strong her confidence in my affection, she +prattles on without + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page50" name="page50"></a>[50]</span> + + regarding me. Poor Yarico! I must not—cannot quit +her. When I would speak, her look, her mere simplicity disarms me; I dare +not wound such innocence. Simplicity is like a smiling babe, which, to +the ruffian that would murder it, stretching its little naked, helpless +arms, pleads, speechless, its own cause. And yet, Narcissa's family— +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> There he is; like a beau bespeaking a coat—doubting which +colour to choose—Sir— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> What now? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Nothing unexpected, sir:—I hope you won't be angry; but I am +come to give you joy, sir! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Joy!——of what? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> A wife, sir! a white one.—I know it will vex you, but Miss +Narcissa means to make you happy, to-morrow morning. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> To-morrow! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Yes, sir; and as I have been out of employ, in both my +capacities, lately, after I have dressed your hair, I may draw up the +marriage articles. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Whence comes your intelligence, sir? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Patty told me all that has passed in the Governor's family, +on the quay, sir. Women, you know, can never keep a secret. You'll be +introduced in form, with the whole island to witness it. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> So public, too!——Unlucky! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> There will be nothing but rejoicings, in compliment to the +wedding, she tells me; all noise and uproar! Married people like it, +they say. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Strange! that I should be so blind to my interest, as to be +the only person this distresses. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page51" name="page51"></a>[51]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> They are talking of nothing else but the match, it seems. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Confusion! How can I, in honour, retract? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> And the bride's merits—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> True!—A fund of merits!—I would not—but from necessity—a +case so nice as this—I—would not wish to retract. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Then they call her so handsome. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Very true! so handsome! the whole world would laugh at me; +they'd call it folly to retract. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> And then they say so much of her fortune. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> O death! it would be <i>madness</i> to retract. Surely, my +faculties have slept, and this long parting from my Narcissa has +blunted my sense of her accomplishments. 'Tis this alone makes me so +weak and wavering. I'll see her immediately. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Going.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Stay, stay, sir; I am desired to tell you, the Governor won't +open his gates to us till to-morrow morning. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Well, be it so; it will give me time, at all events, to put my +affairs in train. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Yes; it's a short respite before execution; and if your +honour was to go and comfort poor Madam Yarico—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Damnation! Scoundrel, how dare you offer your advice?—I dread +to think of her! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> I've done, sir, I've done—But I know I should blubber over +Wows all night, if I thought of parting with her in the morning. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Insolence! begone, sir! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Lord, sir, I only—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Get down stairs, sir, directly. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Going out.</i>]</span> Ah! you may well put your + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page52" name="page52"></a>[52]</span> + + hand to your head; +and a bad head it must be, to forget that Madam Yarico prevented her +countrymen from peeling off the upper part of it. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> 'Sdeath, what am I about? How have I slumbered! Is it I?—I—who, +in London, laughed at the younkers of the town—and, when I saw their +chariots, with some fine, tempting girl, perked in the corner, come +shopping to the city, would cry—Ah!—there sits ruin—there flies the +Green-horn's money! then wondered with myself how men could trifle time +on women; or, indeed, think of any women without fortunes. And now, +forsooth, it rests with <i>me</i> to turn romantic puppy, and give up all +for love.—Give up!—Oh, monstrous folly!—thirty thousand pounds! +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<span class="sc">Trudge.</span> [<i>Peeping in at the door.</i>] +</p> + +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> May I come in, sir? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> What does the booby want? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Sir, your uncle wants to see <i>you</i>. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Mr. Medium! show him up directly. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit <span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +He must not know of this. To-morrow! I wish this marriage were more +distant, that I might break it to her by degrees: she'd take my purpose +better, were it less suddenly delivered. +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Medium</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Ah! here he is! Give me your hand, nephew! welcome, welcome to +Barbadoes, with all my heart. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> I am glad to meet you here, uncle! +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> That you are, that you are, I'm sure. Lord! Lord! when we parted +last, how I wished we were in + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page53" name="page53"></a>[53]</span> + + a room together, if it were but the black +hole! I have not been able to sleep o'nights for thinking of you. I've +laid awake, and fancied I saw you sleeping your last, with your head in +the lion's mouth, for a night-cap! and I've never seen a bear brought +over to dance about the street, but I thought you might be bobbing up +and down in its belly. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> I am very much obliged to you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Aye, aye, I am happy enough to find you safe and sound, I promise +you. But, you have a fine prospect before you now, young man. I am come +to take you with me to Sir Christopher, who is impatient to see you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> To-morrow, I hear, he expects me. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> To-morrow! directly—this moment—in half a second.—I left him +standing on tip-toe, as he calls it, to embrace you; and he's standing +on tiptoe now in the great parlour, and there he'll stand till you come +to him. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Is he so hasty? +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Hasty! he's all pepper—and wonders you are not with him, before +it's possible to get at him. Hasty, indeed! Why, he vows you shall have +his daughter this very night. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> What a situation! +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Why, it's hardly fair just after a voyage. But come, bustle, +bustle, he'll think you neglect him. He's rare and touchy, I can tell +you; and if he once takes it into his head that you show the least +slight to his daughter, it would knock up all your schemes in a minute. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Confusion! If he should hear of Yarico! <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> But at present you are all and all with him; he has been telling +me his intentions these six weeks; you'll be a fine warm husband, I +promise you. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page54" name="page54"></a>[54]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> This cursed connexion! <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> It is not for me, though, to tell you how to play your cards; +you are a prudent young man, and can make calculations in a wood. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Fool! fool! fool! <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Why, what the devil is the matter with you? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> It must be done effectually, or all is lost; mere parting +would not conceal it. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Ah! now he's got to his damn'd square root again, I suppose, and +Old Nick would not move him.—Why, nephew! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> The planter that I spoke with cannot be arrived—but time is +precious—the first I meet—common prudence now demands it. I'm fixed, +I'll part with her. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Damn me, but he's mad! The woods have turned the poor boy's +brains; he's scalped, and gone crazy! Hoho! Inkle! Nephew! Gad, I'll +spoil your arithmetic, I warrant me. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> + +<h3> +SCENE III. +</h3> +<p class="scene"> + <i>The Quay.</i> +</p> +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Sir Christopher Curry</span>.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Ods, my life! I can scarce contain my happiness. I have left +them safe in church, in the middle of the ceremony. I ought to have +given Narcissa away, they told me; but I capered about so much for joy, +that Old Spintext advised me to go and cool my heels on the quay, till +it was all over. Ods + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page55" name="page55"></a>[55]</span> + + I'm so happy; and they shall see, now, what an old +fellow can do at a wedding. +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Inkle</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Now for dispatch! Hark'ee, old gentleman! <span class="dir-i">[<i>To the Governor.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Well, young gentleman? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> If I mistake not, I know your business here. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> 'Egad, I believe half the island knows it, by this time. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Then to the point—I have a female, whom I wish to part with. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Very likely; it's a common case, now a-days, with many a man. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> If you could satisfy me you would use her mildly, and treat +her with more kindness than is usual—for I can tell you she's of no +common stamp—perhaps we might agree. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Oho! a slave! Faith, now I think on't, my daughter may want +an attendant or two extraordinary; and as you say she's a delicate +girl, above the common run, and none of your thick-lipped, flat-nosed, +squabby, dumpling dowdies, I don't much care if— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> And for her treatment— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Look ye, young man; I love to be plain: I shall treat her +a good deal better than you would, I fancy; for though I witness this +custom every day, I can't help thinking the only excuse for buying our +fellow creatures, is to rescue them from the hands of those who are +unfeeling enough to bring them to market. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Fair words, old gentleman; an Englishman won't put up an affront. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> An Englishman! more shame for you! + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page56" name="page56"></a>[56]</span> + + Let Englishmen blush at +such practices. Men, who so fully feel the blessings of liberty, are +doubly cruel in depriving the helpless of their freedom. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Let me assure you, sir, it is not my occupation; but for a +private reason—an instant pressing necessity—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Well, well, I have a pressing necessity too; I can't stand +to talk now; I expect company here presently; but if you'll ask for me +to-morrow, at the Castle— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> The Castle! +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Aye, sir, the Castle; the Governor's Castle; known all over +Barbadoes. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> 'Sdeath this man must be on the Governor's establishment: +his steward, perhaps, and sent after me, while Sir Christopher is +impatiently waiting for me. I've gone too far; my secret may be +known—As 'tis, I'll win this fellow to my interest. <span class="dir-i">[<i>To him.</i>]</span>—One +word more, sir: my business must be done immediately; and as you seem +acquainted at the Castle, if you should see me there—and there I mean +to sleep to-night—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> The devil you do! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Your finger on your lips; and never breathe a syllable of this +transaction. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> No! Why not? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Because, for reasons, which, perhaps, you'll know to-morrow, I +might be injured with the Governor, whose most particular friend I am. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> So! here's a particular friend of mine, coming to sleep +at my house, that I never saw in my life. I'll sound this fellow. +<span class="dir-i">[<i>Aside.</i>]</span> I fancy, young gentleman, as you are such a bosom friend of +the Governor's, you can hardly do any thing to alter your situation +with him? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Oh! pardon me; but you'll find that + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page57" name="page57"></a>[57]</span> + + hereafter—besides, you, +doubtless, know his character? +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Oh, as well as I do my own. But let's understand one +another. You may trust me, now you've gone so far. You are acquainted +with his character, no doubt, to a hair? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> I am—I see we shall understand each other. You know him too, +I see, as well as I.—A very touchy, testy, hot old fellow. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Here's a scoundrel! I hot and touchy! Zounds! I can hardly +contain my passion!—But I won't discover myself. I'll see the bottom +of this——<span class="dir-i">[<i>To him.</i>]</span> Well now, as we seem to have come to a tolerable +explanation—let's proceed to business—Bring me the woman. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> No; there you must excuse me. I rather would avoid seeing her +more; and wish it to be settled without my seeming interference. My +presence might distress her—You conceive me? +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Zounds! what an unfeeling rascal!—The poor girl's in love +with him, I suppose. No, no, fair and open. My dealing is with you and +you only: I see her now, or I declare off. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Well then, you must be satisfied: yonder's my servant—ha—a +thought has struck me. Come here, sir. +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +I'll write my purpose, and send it her by him—It's lucky that I taught +her to decypher characters; my labour now is paid. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Takes out his +pocket book, and writes.</i>]</span>—This is somewhat less abrupt; 'twill soften +matters. <span class="dir-i">[<i>To himself.</i>]</span> Give this to Yarico; then bring her hither +with you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> I shall, sir. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Going.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Stay; come back. This soft fool, if uninstructed, + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page58" name="page58"></a>[58]</span> + + may add to her +distress. When she has read this paper, seem to make light of it; tell +her it is a thing of course, done purely for her good. I here inform her +that I must part with her. D'ye understand your lesson? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Pa—part with Ma—madam Ya-ri-co! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Why does the blockhead stammer!—I have my reasons. No +muttering—And let me tell you, sir, if your rare bargain were gone +too, 'twould be the better: she may babble our story of the forest, and +spoil my fortune. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> I'm sorry for it, sir; I have lived with you along while; +I've half a year's wages too, due the 25th ult. for dressing your hair, +and scribbling your parchments; but take my scribbling; take my +frizzing; take my wages; and I, and Wows, will take ourselves off +together—she saved my life, and rot me, if any thing but death shall +part us. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Impertinent! Go, and deliver your message. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> I'm gone, sir. Lord, Lord! I never carried a letter with such +ill will in all my born days. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Well—shall I see the girl? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> She'll be here presently. One thing I had forgot: when she is +yours, I need not caution you, after the hints I've given, to keep her +from the Castle. If Sir Christopher should see her, 'twould lead, you +know, to a discovery of what I wish concealed. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Depend upon <i>me</i>—Sir Christopher will know no more of our +meeting, than he does at this moment. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Your secrecy shall not be unrewarded; I'll recommend you, +particularly, to his good graces. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Thank ye, thank ye; but I'm pretty much in his good graces, +as it is; I don't know anybody he has a greater respect for.—— +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page59" name="page59"></a>[59]</span></p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Re-enter <span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Now, sir, have you performed your message? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Yes, I gave her the letter. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> And where is Yarico? did she say she'd come? didn't you do as +you were ordered? didn't you speak to her? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> I cou'dn't, sir, I cou'dn't—I intended to say what you bid +me—but I felt such a pain in my throat, I cou'dn't speak a word, for +the soul of me; and so, sir, I fell a crying. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Blockhead! +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> 'Sblood, but he's a very honest blockhead. Tell me, my good +fellow—what said the wench? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Nothing at all, sir. She sat down with her two hands clasped +on her knees, and looked so pitifully in my face, I could not stand it. +Oh, here she comes. I'll go and find Wows: if I must be melancholy, she +shall keep me company. +</p> +<p class="dir-r"> +[<i>Exit.</i> +</p> + +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Ods my life, as comely a wench as ever I saw! +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Yarico</span>, who looks for some time in <span class="sc">Inkle</span>'s +face, bursts into tears, and falls on his neck.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> In tears! nay, Yarico! why this? +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Oh do not—do not leave me! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Why, simple girl! I'm labouring for your good. My interest, +here, is nothing: I can do nothing from myself, you are ignorant of our +country's customs. I must give way to men more powerful, who will not +have me with you. But see, my Yarico, ever anxious for your welfare, +I've found a kind, good person who will protect you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Ah! why not you protect me! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> I have no means—how can I? +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page60" name="page60"></a>[60]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Yarico.</i> Just as I sheltered you. Take me to yonder mountain, where I +see no smoke from tall, high houses, filled with your cruel countrymen. +None of your princes, there, will come to take me from you. And should +they stray that way, we'll find a lurking place, just like my own poor +cave; where many a day I sat beside you, and blessed the chance that +brought you to it—that I might save your life. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> His life! Zounds! my blood boils at the scoundrel's +ingratitude! +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Come, come, let's go. I always feared these cities. Let's fly +and seek the woods; and there we'll wander hand in hand together. No +cares shall vex us then—We'll let the day glide by in idleness; and +you shall sit in the shade, and watch the sun-beam playing on the +brook, while I sing the song that pleases you. No cares, love, but for +food—and we'll live cheerily I warrant—In the fresh, early morning, +you shall hunt down our game, and I will pick you berries—and then, at +night I'll trim our bed of leaves, and lie me down in peace—Oh! we +shall be so happy!—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Hear me, Yarico. My countrymen and yours differ as much +in minds as in complexions. We were not born to live in woods and +caves——to seek subsistence by pursuing beasts——We christians, +girl, hunt money; a thing unknown to you—But, here, 'tis money which +brings us ease, plenty, command, power, every thing; and, of course, +happiness. You are the bar to my attaining this; therefore 'tis +necessary for my good——and which, I think, you value—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> You know I do; so much, that it would break my heart to leave +you. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> But we must part; if you are seen with me, I shall lose all. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> I gave up all for you—my friends—my country: + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page61" name="page61"></a>[61]</span> + + all that was dear +to me: and still grown dearer since you sheltered there.—All, all, was +left for you—and were it now to do again—again I'd cross the seas, and +follow you, all the world over. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> We idle time; sir, she is yours. See you obey this gentleman; +'twill be the better for you. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Going.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> O barbarous! <span class="dir-i">[<i>Holding him.</i>]</span> Do not, do not abandon me! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> No more. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> Stay but a little. I shan't live long to be a burden to you: +your cruelty has cut me to the heart. Protect me but a little—or I'll +obey this man, and undergo all hardships for your good; stay but to +witness 'em.—I soon shall sink with grief; tarry till then, and hear +me bless your name when I am dying; and beg you now and then, when I am +gone, to heave a sigh for your poor Yarico. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> I dare not listen. You, sir, I hope, will take good care of +her. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Going.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Care of her!—that I will—I'll cherish her like my own +daughter; and pour balm into the heart of a poor, innocent girl, that +has been wounded by the artifices of a scoundrel. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Hah! 'Sdeath, sir, how dare you!— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> 'Sdeath, sir, how dare you look an honest man in the face? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Sir, you shall feel— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Feel!—It's more than ever you did, I believe. Mean, sordid +wretch! dead to all sense of honour, gratitude, or humanity—I never +heard of such barbarity! I have a son-in-law, who has been left in +the same situation; but, if I thought him capable of such cruelty, +dam'me if I would not turn him to sea, with a peck-loaf, in a cockle +shell—Come, come, cheer up, my girl! You shan't want a friend to +protect + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page62" name="page62"></a>[62]</span> + + you, I warrant you.—<span class="dir-i">[<i>Taking <span class="sc">Yarico</span> by the hand.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Insolence! The Governor shall hear of this insult. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> The Governor! liar! cheat! rogue! impostor! breaking all +ties you ought to keep, and pretending to those you have no right to. +The Governor never had such a fellow in the whole catalogue of his +acquaintance—the Governor disowns you—the Governor disclaims you—the +Governor abhors you; and to your utter confusion, here stands the +Governor to tell you so. Here stands old Curry, who never talked to a +rogue without telling him what he thought of him. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Sir Christopher!—Lost and undone! +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Without.</i>]</span> Holo! Young Multiplication! Zounds! I have been +peeping in every cranny of the house. Why, young Rule of Three! +<span class="dir-i">[<i>Enters from the inn.</i>]</span> Oh, here you are at last—Ah, Sir Christopher! +What are you there! too impatient to wait at home. But here's one that +will make you easy, I fancy. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Clapping <span class="sc">Inkle</span> on the shoulder.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> How came you to know him? +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Ha! ha! Well, that's curious enough too. So you have been +talking here, without finding out each other. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> No, no; I have found him out with a vengeance. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Not you. Why this is the dear boy. It's my nephew; that is, your +son-in-law, that is to be. It's Inkle! +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> It's a lie; and you're a purblind old booby,—and this dear +boy is a damn'd scoundrel. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Hey-day! what's the meaning of this? One was mad before, and he +has bit the other, I suppose. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> But here comes the dear boy—the true + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page63" name="page63"></a>[63]</span> + + boy—the jolly boy, +piping hot from church, with my daughter. +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Campley</span>, <span class="sc">Narcissa</span>, and <span class="sc">Patty</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Campley! +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Who? Campley?—It's no such thing. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> That's my name, indeed, Sir Christopher. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> The devil it is! And how came you, sir, to impose upon me, +and assume the name of Inkle? A name which every man of honesty ought +to be ashamed of. +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> I never did, sir.—Since I sailed from England with your +daughter, my affection has daily increased: and when I came to explain +myself to you, by a number of concurring circumstances, which I am now +partly acquainted with, you mistook me for that gentleman. Yet had I +even then been aware of your mistake, I must confess, the regard for my +own happiness would have tempted me to let you remain undeceived. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> And did you, Narcissa, join in— +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> How could I, my dear sir, disobey you? +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Lord your honour, what young lady could refuse a captain? +</p> +<p> +<i>Camp.</i> I am a soldier, Sir Christopher. Love and war is the soldier's +motto; though my income is trifling to your <i>intended</i> son-in-law's, +still the chance of war has enabled me to support the object of my love +above indigence. Her fortune, Sir Christopher, I do not consider myself +by any means entitled to. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> 'Sblood! but you must though. Give me your hand, my young +Mars, and bless you both together!—Thank you, thank you for cheating +an old fellow into giving his daughter to a lad of spirit, when he was +going to throw her away upon one, in + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page64" name="page64"></a>[64]</span> + + whose breast the mean passion of +avarice smothers the smallest spark of affection or humanity. +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> I have this moment heard a story of a transaction in the forest, +which I own would have rendered compliance with your former commands +very disagreeable. +</p> +<p> +<i>Patty.</i> Yes, sir, I told my mistress he had brought over a Hottypot +gentlewoman. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Yes, but he would have left her for you; <span class="dir-i">[<i>To Narcissa.</i>]</span> +and you for his interest; and sold you, perhaps, as he has this poor +girl to me, as a requital for preserving his life. +</p> +<p> +<i>Nar.</i> How! +</p> + +<p class="dir-c"> +<i>Enter <span class="sc">Trudge</span> and <span class="sc">Wowski</span>.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Come along, Wows! take a long last leave of your poor mistress: +throw your pretty, ebony arms about her neck. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> No, no;—she not go; you not leave poor Wowski. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Throwing her +arms about <span class="sc">Yarico</span>.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Poor girl! A companion, I take it! +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> A thing of my own, sir. I cou'dn't help following my master's +example in the woods——<i>Like master, like man</i>, sir. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> But you would not sell her, and be hang'd to you, you dog, +would you? +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Hang me, like a dog, if I would, sir. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> So say I to every fellow that breaks an obligation due to +the feelings of a man. But, old Medium, what have you to say for your +hopeful nephew? +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> I never speak ill of my friends, Sir Christopher. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Pshaw! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Then let me speak: hear me defend a conduct—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Defend! Zounds! plead guilty at once—it's the only hope +left of obtaining mercy. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page65" name="page65"></a>[65]</span></p> + +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Suppose, old gentleman, you had a son? +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> 'Sblood! then I'd make him an honest fellow; and teach him, +that the feeling heart never knows greater pride than when it's employed +in giving succour to the unfortunate. I'd teach him to be his father's +own son to a hair. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Even so my father tutored me: from my infancy, bending my +tender mind, like a young sapling, to his will—Interest was the grand +prop round which he twined my pliant green affections: taught me in +childhood to repeat old sayings—all tending to his own fixed principles, +and the first sentence that I ever lisped, was—<i>Charity begins at home.</i> +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> I shall never like a proverb again, as long as I live. +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> As I grew up, he'd prove—and by example—were I in want, I +might e'en starve, for what the world cared for their neighbours; why +then should I care for the world? Men now lived for themselves. These +were his doctrines: then, sir, what would you say, should I, in spite +of habit, precept, education, fly in my father's face, and spurn his +councils? +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Say! why, that you were a damn'd honest, undutiful fellow. O +curse such principles! Principles, which destroy all confidence between +man and man—Principles which none but a rogue could instil, and none +but a rogue could imbibe.—Principles—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Which I renounce. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Eh! +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Renounce entirely. Ill-founded precept too long has steeled +my breast—but still 'tis vulnerable—this trial was too much—Nature, +'gainst habit combating within me, has penetrated to my heart; a heart, +I own, long callous to the feelings of sensibility; but now it bleeds—and +bleeds for my poor Yarico. Oh, let me clasp her to it, while 'tis glowing, +and + +<span class="pagenum"><a id="page66" name="page66"></a>[66]</span> + + mingle tears of love and penitence. <span class="dir-i">[<i>Embracing her.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Capering about.</i>]</span> Wows, give me a kiss! <span class="dir-i">[<i><span class="sc">Wowski</span> goes to +<span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i>]</span> +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> And shall we—shall we be happy? +</p> +<p> +<i>Inkle.</i> Aye; ever, ever, Yarico. +</p> +<p> +<i>Yar.</i> I knew we should—and yet I feared—but shall I still watch over +you? Oh! love, you surely gave your Yarico such pain, only to make her +feel this happiness the greater. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> <span class="dir-i">[<i>Going to <span class="sc">Yarico</span>.</i>]</span> Oh Wowski so happy!—and yet I +think I not glad neither. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> Eh, Wows! How!—why not! +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> 'Cause I can't help cry—— +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Then, if that's the case—curse me, if I think I'm very glad +either. What the plague's the matter with my eyes?—Young man, your +hand—I am now proud and happy to shake it. +</p> +<p> +<i>Med.</i> Well, Sir Christopher, what do you say to my hopeful nephew now? +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> Say! Why, confound the fellow, I say, that is ungenerous +enough to remember the bad action of a man who has virtue left in his +heart to repent it—As for you, my good fellow, <span class="dir-i">[<i>To <span class="sc">Trudge</span>.</i>]</span> +I must, with your master's permission, employ you myself. +</p> +<p> +<i>Trudge.</i> O rare!—Bless your honour!—Wows! you'll be lady, you jade, +to a governor's factotum. +</p> +<p> +<i>Wows.</i> Iss—I Lady Jactotum. +</p> +<p> +<i>Sir Chr.</i> And now, my young folks, we'll drive home, and celebrate the +wedding. Od's my life! I long to be shaking a foot at the fiddles, and +I shall dance ten times the lighter, for reforming an Inkle, while I +have it in my power to reward the innocence of a Yarico. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page67" name="page67"></a>[67]</span></p> + +<h3> +FINALE. +</h3> + +<p class="center"> +[La Belle Catharine.] +</p> + +<div class="poem"> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="center"> +CAMPLEY. +</p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>Come, let us dance and sing,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>While all Barbadoes bells shall ring:</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Love scrapes the fiddle string,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>And Venus plays the lute;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Hymen gay, foots away,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Happy at our wedding-day,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Cocks his chin, and figures in,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>To tabor, fife, and flute.</i></p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="center"> +CHORUS. +</p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>Come then dance and sing,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>While all Barbadoes bells shall ring, &c.</i></p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="center"> +NARCISSA. +</p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>Since thus each anxious care</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Is vanished into empty air,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Ah! how can I forbear</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>To join the jocund dance?</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>To and fro, couples go,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>On the light fantastic toe,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>White with glee, merrily,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>The rosy hours advance.</i></p> +<p class="i8"> Chorus. <i>Come then, &c.</i></p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="center"> +YARICO. +</p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>When first the swelling sea</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Hither bore my love and me,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>What then my fate would be,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Little did I think——</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Doomed to know care and woe,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Happy still is Yarico;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Since her love will constant prove,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>And nobly scorns to shrink.</i></p> +<p class="i8"> Chorus. <i>Come then, &c.</i></p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page68" name="page68"></a>[68]</span></p> + +<p class="center"> +WOWSKI. +</p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>Whilst all around, rejoice,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Pipe and tabor raise the voice,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>It can't be Wowski's choice,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Whilst Trudge's to be dumb.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>No, no, dey blithe and gay,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Shall like massy, missy play.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Dance and sing, hey ding, ding,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Strike fiddle and beat drum.</i></p> +<p class="i8"> Chorus. <i>Come then, &c.</i></p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="center"> +TRUDGE. +</p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>'Sbobs! now, I'm fix'd for life,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>My fortune's fair, tho' black's my wife,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Who fears domestic strife—</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Who cares now a souse!</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Merry cheer my dingy dear</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Shall find with her Factotum heve;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Night and day, I'll frisk and play</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>About the house with Wows.</i></p> +<p class="i8"> Chorus. <i>Come then, &c.</i></p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="center"> +INKLE. +</p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>Love's convert here behold,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Banish'd now my thirst of gold,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Bless'd in these arms to fold</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>My gentle Yarico.</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Hence all care, doubt, and fear,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Love and joy each want shall cheer,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Happy night, pure delight,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Shall make our bosoms glow.</i></p> +<p class="i8"> Chorus. <i>Come then, &c.</i></p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page69" name="page69"></a>[69]</span></p> + +<p class="center"> +PATTY. +</p> + +<p class="i2"> <i>Let Patty say a word——</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>A chambermaid may sure be heard——</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Sure men are grown absurd,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Thus taking black for white;</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>To hug and kiss a dingy miss,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Will hardly suit an age like this,</i></p> +<p class="i2"> <i>Unless, here, some friends appear,</i></p> +<p class="i6"> <i>Who like this wedding night.</i></p> +<p class="i8"> Chorus. <i>Come then, &c.</i></p> +</div> +</div> + +<h3> +THE END. +</h3> + +<div style="height: 6em;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Inkle and Yarico, by George Colman + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INKLE AND YARICO *** + +***** This file should be named 36621-h.htm or 36621-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/6/2/36621/ + +Produced by Steven desJardins, David Garcia and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Inkle and Yarico + An opera, in three acts + +Author: George Colman + +Commentator: Mrs. Inchbald + +Release Date: July 5, 2011 [EBook #36621] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INKLE AND YARICO *** + + + + +Produced by Steven desJardins, David Garcia and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +[Illustration: INKLE AND YARICO + INKLE--BY HEAVENS! A WOMAN! + ACT I. SCENE III. + PAINTED BY HOWARD. PUBLISHD BY LONGMAN & CO. ENGRAVD BY HEATH.] + + + + + + +INKLE AND YARICO; AN OPERA, IN THREE ACTS; + + AS PERFORMED AT THE THEATRES ROYAL + COVENT GARDEN, AND HAYMARKET. + +BY + +GEORGE COLMAN, THE YOUNGER; + + PRINTED, UNDER THE AUTHORITY OF THE MANAGERS, + FROM THE PROMPT BOOK. + + +WITH REMARKS BY MRS. INCHBALD. + + LONDON: + PRINTED FOR LONGMAN, HURST, REES, AND ORME, PATERNOSTER ROW. + + + T. Davison, Whitefriars, + London. + + + + +REMARKS. + + +This is a drama, which might remove from Mr. Wilberforce his aversion +to theatrical exhibitions, and convince him, that the teaching of moral +duty is not confined to particular spots of ground; for, in those +places, of all others, the doctrine is most effectually inculcated, +where exhortation is the most required--the resorts of the gay, the +idle, and the dissipated. + +This opera was written, when the author was very young; and, should +he live to be very old, he will have reason to be proud of it to his +latest day--for it is one of those plays which is independent of time, +of place, or of circumstance, for its value. It was popular before the +subject of the abolition of the slave trade was popular. It has the +peculiar honour of preceding that great question. It was the bright +forerunner of alleviation to the hardships of slavery. + +The trivial faults of this opera are--too much play on words (as it is +called) by Trudge; and some classical allusions by other characters, +in whose education such knowledge could not be an ingredient. + +A fault more important, is--that the scene at the commencement of the +opera, instead of Africa, is placed in America. It would undoubtedly +have been a quick passage, to have crossed a fourth part of the +western globe, during the interval between the first and second acts; +still, as the hero and heroine of the drama were compelled to go to +sea--imagination, with but little more exertion, might have given them +a fair wind as well from the coast whence slaves are _really_ brought, +as from a shore where no such traffic is held[1]. + +As an opera, Inkle and Yarico has the singular merit not to be +protected, though aided, by the power of music: the characters are so +forcibly drawn, that even those performers who sing, and study that +art alone, can render every part effectual: and singers and actors of +future times, like those of the past, and of the present, will find +every character exactly suited to their talents. + +This opera has been performed in every London theatre, and in every +theatre of the kingdom, with the same degree of splendid success. It +would have been wonderful had its reception been otherwise; for the +subject is a most interesting one, and in the treatment of it, the +author has shewn taste, judgment--virtue. + +[Footnote 1: No doubt the author would have ingenuity to argue away +this objection--but that, which requires argument for its support in a +dramatic work, is a subject for complaint. As slaves are imported from +Africa, and never from America, the audience, in the two last acts of +this play, feel as if they had been in the wrong quarter of the globe +during the first act. Inkle could certainly steal a native from +America, and sell her in Barbadoes, but this is not so consonant with +that nice imitation of the order of things as to rank above criticism.] + + + + +PERSONS REPRESENTED. + + +COVENT GARDEN. + + INKLE _Mr. Johnstone._ + SIR CHRISTOPHER CURRY _Mr. Quick._ + CAMPLEY _Mr. Davies._ + MEDIUM _Mr. Wewitzer._ + TRUDGE _Mr. Edwin._ + MATE _Mr. Darley._ + + YARICO _Mrs. Billington._ + NARCISSA _Mrs. Mountain._ + WOWSKI _Mrs. Martyr._ + PATTY _Mrs. Rock._ + + +HAYMARKET. + + INKLE _Mr. Bannister, jun._ + SIR CHRISTOPHER CURRY _Mr. Parsons._ + MEDIUM _Mr. Baddeley._ + CAMPLEY _Mr. Davies._ + TRUDGE _Mr. Edwin._ + MATE _Mr. Meadows._ + + YARICO _Mrs. Kemble._ + NARCISSA _Mrs. Bannister._ + WOWSKI _Miss George._ + PATTY _Mrs. Forster._ + + +_SCENE,--First on the Main of America: Afterwards in Barbadoes._ + + + + +INKLE AND YARICO. + + * * * * * + + + + +ACT THE FIRST. + + +SCENE I. + + _An American Forest._ + +_Medium._ [_Without._] Hilli ho! ho! + +_Trudge._ [_Without._] Hip! hollo! ho!--Hip!---- + +_Enter MEDIUM and TRUDGE._ + +_Med._ Pshaw! it's only wasting time and breath. Bawling won't persuade +him to budge a bit faster, and, whatever weight it may have in _some_ +places, bawling, it seems, don't go for argument here. Plague on't! we +are now in the wilds of America. + +_Trudge._ Hip, hillio--ho--hi!---- + +_Med._ Hold your tongue, you blockhead, or---- + +_Trudge._ Lord! sir, if my master makes no more haste, we shall all be +put to sword by the knives of the natives. I'm told they take off heads +like hats, and hang 'em on pegs, in their parlours. Mercy on us! My +head aches with the very thoughts of it. Hollo! Mr. Inkle! master; +hollo! + +_Med._ [_Stops his mouth._] Head aches! Zounds, so does mine, with your +confounded bawling. It's enough to bring all the natives about us; and +we shall be stripped and plundered in a minute. + +_Trudge._ Aye; stripping is the first thing that would happen to us; +for they seem to be woefully off for a wardrobe. I myself saw three, at +a distance, with less clothes than I have, when I get out of bed: all +dancing about in black buff; just like Adam in mourning. + +_Med._ This is to have to do with a schemer! a fellow who risks his +life, for a chance of advancing his interest.--Always advantage in +view! Trying, here, to make discoveries, that may promote his profit in +England. Another Botany Bay scheme, mayhap. Nothing else could induce +him to quit our foraging party, from the ship; when he knows every +inhabitant here is not only as black as a pepper-corn, but as hot into +the bargain--and _I_, like a fool, to follow him! and then to let him +loiter behind.--Why, nephew;--Why, Inkle.--[_Calling._] + +_Trudge._ Why, Inkle----Well! only to see the difference of men! he'd +have thought it very hard, now, if I had let him call so often after +me. Ah! I wish he was calling after me now, in the old jog-trot way, +again. What a fool was I to leave London for foreign parts!----That +ever I should leave Threadneedle-street, to thread an American forest, +where a man's as soon lost as a needle in a bottle of hay! + +_Med._ Patience, Trudge! Patience! If we once recover the ship---- + +_Trudge._ Lord, sir, I shall never recover what I have lost in coming +abroad. When my master and I were in London, I had such a mortal snug +birth of it! Why, I was _factotum_. + +_Med._ Factotum to a young merchant is no such sinecure, neither. + +_Trudge._ But then the honour of it. Think of that, sir; to be clerk as +well as _own man_. Only consider. You find very few city clerks made +out of a man, now-a-days. To be king of the counting-house, as well +as lord of the bed-chamber. Ah! if I had him but now in the little +dressing-room behind the office; tying his hair, with a bit of red +tape, as usual. + +_Med._ Yes, or writing an invoice in lampblack, and shining his shoes +with an ink-bottle, _as usual_, you blundering blockhead! + +_Trudge._ Oh, if I was but brushing the accounts or casting up the +coats! mercy on us! what's that? + +_Med._ That! What? + +_Trudge._ Didn't you hear a noise? + +_Med._ Y--es--but--hush! Oh, heavens be praised! here he is at last. + +_Enter INKLE._ + +Now, nephew! + +_Inkle._ So, Mr. Medium. + +_Med._ Zounds, one would think, by your confounded composure, that you +were walking in St. James's Park, instead of an American forest: and +that all the beasts were nothing but good company. The hollow trees, +here, sentry boxes, and the lions in 'em, soldiers; the jackalls, +courtiers; the crocodiles, fine women; and the baboons, beaus. What the +plague made you loiter so long? + +_Inkle._ Reflection. + +_Med._ So I should think; reflection generally comes lagging behind. +What, scheming, I suppose; never quiet. At it again, eh? What a happy +trader is your father, to have so prudent a son for a partner! Why, you +are the carefullest Co. in the whole city. Never losing sight of the +main chance; and that's the reason, perhaps, you lost sight of us, +here, on the main of America. + +_Inkle._ Right, Mr. Medium. Arithmetic, I own, has been the means of +our parting at present. + +_Trudge._ Ha! A sum in division, I reckon. + + [_Aside._ + +_Med._ And pray, if I may be so bold, what mighty +scheme has just tempted you to employ your head, +when you ought to make use of your heels? + +_Inkle._ My heels! Here's pretty doctrine! Do you think I travel merely +for motion? What, would you have a man of business come abroad, scamper +extravagantly here and there and every where, then return home, and +have nothing to tell, but that he has _been_ here and there and every +where? 'Sdeath, sir, would you have me travel like a lord? + +_Med._ No, the Lord forbid! + +_Inkle._ Travelling, uncle, was always intended for improvement; and +improvement is an advantage; and advantage is profit, and profit is +gain. Which in the travelling translation of a trader, means, that you +should gain every advantage of improving your profit. I have been +comparing the land, here, with that of our own country. + +_Med._ And you find it like a good deal of the land of our own +country----cursedly encumbered with black legs, I take it. + +_Inkle._ And calculating how much it might be made to produce by the +acre. + +_Med._ You were? + +_Inkle._ Yes; I was proceeding algebraically upon the subject. + +_Med._ Indeed! + +_Inkle._ And just about extracting the square root. + +_Med._ Hum! + +_Inkle._ I was thinking too, if so many natives could be caught, how +much they might fetch at the West Indian markets. + +_Med._ Now let me ask you a question, or two, young cannibal catcher, +if you please. + +_Inkle._ Well. + +_Med._ Ar'n't we bound for Barbadoes; partly to trade, but chiefly to +carry home the daughter of the governor, Sir Christopher Curry, who has +till now been under your father's care, in Threadneedle-street, for +polite English education? + +_Inkle._ Granted. + +_Med._ And isn't it determined, between the old folks, that you are to +marry Narcissa, as soon as we get there? + +_Inkle._ A fixed thing. + +_Med._ Then what the devil do you do here, hunting old hairy negroes, +when you ought to be obliging a fine girl in the ship? Algebra, too! +You'll have other things to think of when you are married, I promise +you. A plodding fellow's head, in the hands of a young wife, like a +boy's slate, after school, soon gets all its arithmetic wiped off: and +then it appears in its true simple state: dark, empty, and bound in +wood, Master Inkle. + +_Inkle._ Not in a match of this kind. Why, it's a table of interest +from beginning to end, old Medium. + +_Med._ Well, well, this is no time to talk. Who knows but, instead of +sailing to a wedding, we may get cut up, here, for a wedding dinner: +tossed up for a dingy duke, perhaps, or stewed down for a black +baronet, or eat raw by an inky commoner? + +_Inkle._ Why sure you ar'n't afraid? + +_Med._ Who, I afraid? Ha! ha! ha! No, not I! What the deuce should I +be afraid of? Thank Heaven I have a clear conscience, and need not be +afraid of any thing. A scoundrel might not be quite so easy on such +an occasion; but it's the part of an honest man not to behave like a +scoundrel: I never behaved like a scoundrel--for which reason I am an +honest man, you know. But come--I hate to boast of my good qualities. + +_Inkle._ Slow and sure, my good, virtuous Mr. Medium! Our companions +can be but half a mile before us: and, if we do but double their steps, +we shall overtake 'em at one mile's end, by all the powers of arithmetic. + +_Med._ Oh curse your arithmetic! + + [_Exeunt._ + + +SCENE II. + + _Another part of the Forest.--A ship at anchor in the bay at + a small distance.--Mouth of a cave._ + +_Enter SAILORS and MATE, as returning from foraging._ + +_Mate._ Come, come, bear a hand, my lads. Tho'f the bay is just under +our bowsprits, it will take a damned deal of tripping to come at +it--there's hardly any steering clear of the rocks here. But do we +muster all hands? All right, think ye? + +_1st. Sail._ All to a man----besides yourself, and a monkey----the +three land lubbers, that edged away in the morning, goes for nothing, +you know--they're all dead, may-hap, by this. + +_Mate._ Dead! you be--Why they're friends of the captain; and if not +brought safe aboard to-night, you may all chance to have a salt eel for +your supper--that's all--Moreover the young plodding spark, he with the +grave, foul weather face, there, is to man the tight little frigate, +Miss Narcissa--what d'ye call her? that is bound with us for Barbadoes. +Rot'em for not keeping under weigh, I say! But come, let's see if a +song will bring 'em too. Let's have a full chorus to the good merchant +ship, the Achilles, that's wrote by our captain. + + +SONG. + + _The Achilles, though christen'd, good ship, 'tis surmis'd,_ + _From that old man of war, great Achilles, so priz'd,_ + _Was he, like our vessel, pray fairly baptiz'd?_ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + + _Poets sung_ that _Achilles--if, now, they've an itch_ + _To sing_ this, _future ages may know which is which;_ + _And that one rode in Greece--and the other in pitch._ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + + _What tho' but a merchant ship--sure our supplies:_ + _Now your men of war's gain in a lottery lies,_ + _And how blank they all look, when they can't get a prize!_ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + + _What are all their fine names? when no rhino's behind,_ + _The Intrepid, and Lion, look sheepish you'll find;_ + _Whilst, alas! the poor AEolus can't raise the wind!_ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + + _Then the Thunderer's dumb; out of tune the Orpheus;_ + _The Ceres has nothing at all to produce;_ + _And the Eagle I warrant you, looks like a goose._ + _Ti tol lol, &c._ + +_1st. Sail._ Avast! look a-head there. Here they come, chased by a +fleet of black devils. + +_Midsh._ And the devil a _fire_ have I to give them. We han't a grain +of powder left. What must we do, lads? + +_2d. Sail._ Do? Sheer off to be sure. + +_Midsh._ [_Reluctantly._] Well, if I must, I must. [_Going to the other +side, and holloing to INKLE, &c._] Yoho, lubbers! Crowd all the sail +you can, d'ye mind me! + + [_Exeunt_ SAILORS. + +_Enter MEDIUM, running across the stage, as pursued by the Blacks._ + +_Med._ Nephew! Trudge! run--scamper! Scour--fly! Zounds, what harm did +I ever do to be hunted to death by a pack of bloodhounds? Why nephew! +Oh, confound your long sums in arithmetic! I'll take care of myself; +and if we must have any arithmetic, dot and carry one for my money. + + [_Runs off._ + +_Enter INKLE and TRUDGE, hastily._ + +_Trudge._ Oh! that ever I was born, to leave pen, ink, and powder for +this! + +_Inkle._ Trudge, how far are the sailors before us? + +_Trudge._ I'll run and see, sir, directly. + +_Inkle._ Blockhead, come here. The savages are close upon us; we shall +scarce be able to recover our party. Get behind this tuft of trees with +me; they'll pass us, and we may then recover our ship with safety. + +_Trudge._ [_Going behind._] Oh! Threadneedle-street, Thread-- + +_Inkle._ Peace. + +_Trudge._ [_Hiding._]--Needle-street. [_They hide behind trees. Natives +cross. After a long pause, INKLE looks from the trees._] + +_Inkle._ Trudge. + +_Trudge._ Sir. [_In a whisper._] + +_Inkle._ Are they all gone by? + +_Trudge._ Won't you look and see? + +_Inkle._ [_Looking round._] So all is safe at last. [_Coming forward._] +Nothing like policy in these cases; but you'd have run on, like a booby! +A tree, I fancy, you'll find, in future, the best resource in a hot +pursuit. + +_Trudge._ Oh, charming! It's a retreat for a king, sir: Mr. Medium, +however, has not got up in it; your uncle, sir, _has run on like a +booby_; and has got up with our party by this time, I take it; who are +now most likely at the shore. But what are we to do next, sir? + +_Inkle._ Reconnoitre a little, and then proceed. + +_Trudge._ Then pray, sir, proceed to reconnoitre; for the sooner the +better. + +_Inkle._ Then look out, d'ye hear, and tell me if you discover any +danger. + +_Trudge._ Y----Ye--s--Yes. + +_Inkle._ Well, is the coast clear? + +_Trudge._ Eh! Oh lord!--Clear! [_Rubbing his eyes._] Oh dear! oh dear! +the coast will soon be clear enough now, I promise you----The ship is +under sail, sir! + +_Inkle._ Confusion! my property carried off in the vessel. + +_Trudge._ All, all, sir, except me. + +_Inkle._ They may report me dead, perhaps, and dispose of my property +at the next island. [_The vessel appears under sail._] + +_Trudge._ Ah! there they go. [_A gun fired._]----That will be the last +report we shall ever hear from 'em I'm afraid.--That's as much as to +say, Good bye to ye. And here we are left--two fine, full-grown babes +in the wood! + +_Inkle._ What an ill-timed accident! Just too, when my speedy union +with Narcissa, at Barbadoes, would so much advance my interests.--Ah, +my Narcissa, I never shall forget thy last adieu.--Something must be +hit upon, and speedily; but what resource? [_Thinking._] + +_Trudge._ The old one--a tree, sir.--'Tis all we have for it now. What +would I give, now, to be perched upon a high stool, with our brown +desk squeezed into the pit of my stomach--scribbling away an old +parchment!----But all my red ink will be spilt by an old black pin of +a negro. + + +SONG. + +[Last Valentine's Day.] + + _A voyage over seas had not entered my head,_ + _Had I known but on which side to butter my bread,_ + _Heigho! sure I--for hunger must die!_ + _I've sail'd like a booby; come here in a squall,_ + _Where, alas! there's no bread to be butter'd at all!_ + _Oho! I'm a terrible booby!_ + _Oh, what a sad booby am I!_ + + _In London, what gay chop-house signs in the street!_ + _But the only sign here is of nothing to eat._ + _Heigho! that I----for hunger should die!_ + _My mutton's all lost; I'm a poor starving elf!_ + _And for all the world like a lost mutton myself._ + _Oho! I shall die a lost mutton!_ + _Oh! what a lost mutton am I!_ + + _For a neat slice of beef, I could roar like a bull;_ + _And my stomach's so empty, my heart is quite full._ + _Heigho! that I--for hunger should die!_ + _But, grave without meat, I must here meet my grave,_ + _For my bacon, I fancy, I never shall save._ + _Oho! I shall ne'er save my bacon!_ + _I can't save my bacon, not I!_ + + +_Trudge._ Hum! I was thinking----I was thinking, sir--if so many +natives could be caught, how much they might fetch at the West India +markets! + +_Inkle._ Scoundrel! is this a time to jest? + +_Trudge._ No, faith, sir! Hunger is too sharp to be jested with. As for +me, I shall starve for want of food. Now you may meet a luckier fate: +you are able to extract the square root, sir; and that's the very best +provision you can find here to live upon. But I! [_Noise at a distance._] +Mercy on us! here they come again. + +_Inkle._ Confusion! Deserted on one side, and pressed on the other, +which way shall I turn?--This cavern may prove a safe retreat to us for +the present. I'll enter, cost what it will. + +_Trudge._ Oh Lord! no, don't, don't----We shall pay too dear for our +lodging, depend on't. + +_Inkle._ This is no time for debating. You are at the mouth of it: lead +the way, Trudge. + +_Trudge._ What! go in before your honour! I know my place better, I +assure you--I might walk into more mouths than one, perhaps. [_Aside._] + +_Inkle._ Coward! then follow me. [_Noise again._] + +_Trudge._ I must, sir; I must! Ah, Trudge, Trudge! what a damned hole +are you getting into! + + [_Exeunt into a Cavern._ + + +SCENE III. + + _A cave, decorated with skins of wild beasts, feathers, &c. In the + middle of the scene, a rude kind of curtain, by way of door to an + inner apartment._ + +_Enter INKLE and TRUDGE, as from the mouth of the cavern._ + +_Inkle._ So far, at least, we have proceeded with safety. Ha! no bad +specimen of savage elegance. These ornaments would be worth something +in England.--We have little to fear here, I hope: this cave rather +bears the pleasing face of a profitable adventure. + +_Trudge._ Very likely, sir! But for a pleasing face, it has the +cursed'st ugly month I ever saw in my life. Now do, sir, make off as +fast as you can. If we once get clear of the natives' houses, we have +little to fear from the lions and leopards: for by the appearance of +their parlours, they seem to have killed all the wild beast in the +country. Now pray, do, my good master, take my advice, and run away. + +_Inkle._ Rascal! Talk again of going out, and I'll flea you alive. + +_Trudge._ That's just what I expect for coming in.--All that enter here +appear to have had their skins stript over their ears; and ours will be +kept for curiosities--We shall stand here, stuffed, for a couple of +white wonders. + +_Inkle._ This curtain seems to lead to another apartment: I'll draw it. + +_Trudge._ No, no, no, don't; don't. We may be called to account for +disturbing the company: you may get a curtain-lecture, perhaps, sir. + +_Inkle._ Peace, booby, and stand on your guard. + +_Trudge._ Oh! what will become of us! Some grim, seven foot fellow +ready to scalp us. + +_Inkle._ By heaven! a woman. + + [_As the curtain draws, YARICO and WOWSKI discovered asleep._ + +_Trudge._ A woman! [_Aside._]--[_Loud._] But let him come on; I'm +ready--dam'me, I don't fear facing the devil himself--Faith it is a +woman--fast asleep too. + +_Inkle._ And beautiful as an angel! + +_Trudge._ And egad! there seems to be a nice, little plump bit in the +corner; only she's an angel of rather a darker sort. + +_Inkle._ Hush! keep back--she wakes. [_YARICO comes forward--INKLE and +TRUDGE retire to opposite sides of the scene._] + + +SONG.--YARICO. + + _When the chace of day is done,_ + _And the shaggy lion's skin,_ + _Which for us, our warriors win,_ + _Decks our cells at set of sun;_ + _Worn with toil, with slap opprest,_ + _I press my mossy bed, and sink to rest._ + + _Then, once more, I see our train,_ + _With all our chase renew'd again:_ + _Once more 'tis day,_ + _Once more our prey_ + _Gnashes his angry teeth, and foams in vain._ + _Again, in sullen haste, he flies,_ + _Ta'en in the toil, again he lies,_ + _Again he roars--and, in my slumbers, dies._ + + +_INKLE and TRUDGE come forward._ + +_Inkle._ Our language! + +_Trudge._ Zounds, she has thrown me into a cold sweat. + +_Yar._ Hark! I heard a noise! Wowski, awake! whence can it proceed? [_She +awakes WOWSKI, and they both come forward--YARICO towards INKLE_; _WOWSKI +towards TRUDGE._] + +_Yar._ Ah! what form is this?----are you a man? + +_Inkle._ True flesh and blood, my charming heathen, I promise you. + +_Yar._ What harmony in his voice! What a shape! How fair his skin +too----[_Gazing._] + +_Trudge._ This must be a lady of quality, by her staring. + +_Yar._ Say, stranger, whence come you? + +_Inkle._ From a far distant island; driven on this coast by distress, +and deserted by my companions. + +_Yar._ And do you know the danger that surrounds you here? Our woods +are filled with beasts of prey--my countrymen too----(yet, I think they +cou'd'nt find the heart)--might kill you.----It would be a pity if you +fell in their way----I think I should weep if you came to any harm. + +_Trudge._ O ho! It's time, I see, to begin making interest with the +chamber maid. [_Takes WOWSKI apart._] + +_Inkle._ How wild and beautiful! sure there is magic in her shape, and +she has rivetted me to the place. But where shall I look for safety? +let me fly and avoid my death. + +_Yar._ Oh! no--don't depart.----But I will try to preserve you; and if +you are killed, Yarico must die too! Yet, 'tis I alone can save you; +your death is certain, without my assistance; and, indeed, indeed you +shall not want it. + +_Inkle._ My kind Yarico! what means, then, must be used for my safety? + +_Yar._ My cave must conceal you: none enter it, since my father was +slain in battle. I will bring you food by day, then lead you to our +unfrequented groves by moonlight, to listen to the nightingale. If you +should sleep, I'll watch you, and awake you when there's danger. + +_Inkle._ Generous maid! Then, to you will I owe my life; and whilst it +lasts, nothing shall part us. + +_Yar._ And shan't it, shan't it indeed? + +_Inkle._ No, my Yarico! For when an opportunity offers to return to my +country, you shall be my companion. + +_Yar._ What! cross the seas! + +_Inkle._ Yes, Help me to discover a vessel, and you shall enjoy +wonders. You shall be decked in silks, my brave maid, and have a house +drawn with horses to carry you. + +_Yar._ Nay, do not laugh at me--but is it so? + +_Inkle._ It is indeed! + +_Yar._ Oh wonder! I wish my countrywomen could see me----But won't your +warriors kill us? + +_Inkle._ No, our only danger on land is here. + +_Yar._ Then let us retire further into the cave. Come--your safety is +in my keeping. + +_Inkle._ I follow you--Yet, can you run some risk in following me? + + +DUETT. + +[O say, Bonny Lass.] + + Inkle. _O say, simple maid, have you form'd any notion_ + _Of all the rude dangers in crossing the ocean?_ + _When winds whistle shrilly, ah! won't they remind you,_ + _To sigh with regret, for the grot left behind you?_ + + Yar. _Ah! no, I could follow, and sail the world over,_ + _Nor think of my grot, when I look at my lover;_ + _The winds, which blow round us, your arms for my pillow,_ + _Will lull us to sleep, whilst we're rocked by each billow._ + + Both. _O say then my true love, we never will sunder,_ + _Nor shrink from the tempest, nor dread the big thunder:_ + _Whilst constant, we'll laugh at all changes of weather,_ + _And journey all over the world both together._ + + [Exeunt; as retiring further into the cave. + +_Manent TRUDGE and WOWSKI._ + +_Trudge._ Why, you speak English as well as I, my little Wowski. + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ Iss! and you learnt it from a strange man, that tumbled from +a big boat, many moons ago, you say? + +_Wows._ Iss--Teach me--teach good many. + +_Trudge._ Then, what the devil made them so surprized at seeing us! was +he like me? [_Wowski shakes her head._] Not so smart a body, mayhap. +Was his face, now, round and comely, and--eh! [_Stroking his chin._] +Was it like mine? + +_Wows._ Like dead leaf--brown and shrivel. + +_Trudge._ Oh, oh, an old shipwrecked sailor, I warrant. With white and +grey hair, eh, my pretty beauty spot? + +_Wows._ Iss; all white. When night come, he put it in pocket. + +_Trudge._ Oh! wore a wig. But the old boy taught you something more +than English, I believe. + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ The devil he did! What was it? + +_Wows._ Teach me put dry grass, red hot, in hollow white stick. + +_Trudge._ Aye, what was that for? + +_Wows._ Put in my mouth--go poff, poff! + +_Trudge._ Zounds! did he teach you to smoke? + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ And what became of him at last? What did your countrymen do +for the poor fellow? + +_Wows._ Eat him one day--Our chief kill him. + +_Trudge._ Mercy on us! what damned stomachs, to swallow a tough old +tar! Ah, poor Trudge! your killing comes next. + +_Wows._ No, no--not you--no--[_Running to him anxiously._] + +_Trudge._ No? why what shall I do, if I get in their paws? + +_Wows._ I fight for you! + +_Trudge._ Will you? Ecod she's a brave good-natured wench! she'll be +worth a hundred of your English wives.--Whenever they fight on their +husband's account, it's _with_ him instead of _for_ him, I fancy. But +how the plague am I to live here? + +_Wows._ I feed you--bring you kid. + + +SONG.--WOWSKI. + +[One day, I heard Mary say.] + + _White man, never go away----_ + _Tell me why need you?_ + _Stay, with your Wowski, stay:_ + _Wowski will feed you._ + _Cold moons are now coming in;_ + _Ah, don't go grieve me!_ + _I'll wrap you in leopard's skin:_ + _White man, don't leave me._ + + _And when all the sky is blue,_ + _Sun makes warm weather,_ + _I'll catch you a cockatoo,_ + _Dress you in feather._ + _When cold comes, or when 'tis hot,_ + _Ah, don't go grieve me!_ + _Poor Wowski will be forgot--_ + _White man, don't leave me!_ + + +_Trudge._ Zounds! leopard's skin for winter wear, and feathers for a +summer's suit! Ha, ha! I shall look like a walking hammer-cloth, at +Christmas, and an upright shuttlecock, in the dog days. And for all +this, if my master and I find our way to England, you shall be part of +our travelling equipage; and, when I get there, I'll give you a couple +of snug rooms, on a first floor, and visit you every evening, as soon +as I come from the counting-house. Do you like it? + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ Damme, what a flashy fellow I shall seem in the city! I'll +get her a _white_ boy to bring up the tea-kettle. Then I'll teach you +to write and dress hair. + +_Wows._ You great man in your country? + +_Trudge._ Oh yes, a very great man. I'm head clerk of the counting-house, +and first valet-de-chambre of the dressing-room. I pounce parchments, +powder hair, black shoes, ink paper, shave beards, and mend pens. But +hold! I had forgot one material point--you ar'n't married, I hope? + +_Wows._ No: you be my chum-chum! + +_Trudge._ So I will. It's best, however, to be sure of her being +single; for Indian husbands are not quite so complaisant as English +ones, and the vulgar dogs might think of looking a little after their +spouses. But you have had a lover or two in your time; eh, Wowski? + +_Wows._ Oh, iss--great many--I tell you. + + +DUETT. + + Wows. _Wampum, Swampum, Yanko, Lanko, Nanko, Pownatowski,_ + _Black men--plenty--twenty--fight for me,_ + _White man, woo you true?_ + + Trudge. _Who?_ + + Wows. _You._ + + Trudge. _Yes, pretty little Wowski!_ + + Wows. _Then I leave all, and follow thee._ + + Trudge. _Oh then turn about, my little tawny tight one!_ + _Don't you like me?_ + + Wows. _Iss, you're like the snow!_ + _If you slight one----_ + + Trudge. _Never, not for any white one;_ + _You are beautiful as any sloe._ + + Wows. _Wars, jars, scars, can't expose ye,_ + _In our grot----_ + + Trudge. _So snug and cosey!_ + + Wows. _Flowers, neatly_ + _Pick'd, shall sweetly_ + _Make your bed._ + + Trudge. _Coying, toying,_ + _With a rosy_ + _Posey,_ + _When I'm dosey,_ + _Bear-skin nightcaps too shall warm my head._ + + Both. _Bearskin nightcaps, &c. &c._ + + + + +ACT THE SECOND. + + +SCENE I. + + _The Quay at Barbadoes, with an Inn upon it. People employed in + unlading vessels, carrying bales of goods, &c._ + +_Enter several PLANTERS._ + +_1st Plant._ I saw her this morning, gentlemen, you may depend on't. My +telescope never fails me. I popp'd upon her as I was taking a peep from +my balcony. A brave tight ship, I tell you, bearing down directly for +Barbadoes here. + +_2d Plant._ Ods, my life! rare news! We have not had a vessel arrive in +our harbour these six weeks. + +_3d Plant._ And the last brought only Madam Narcissa, our Governor's +daughter, from England; with a parcel of lazy, idle, white folks about +her. Such cargoes will never do for our trade, neighbour. + +_2d Plant._ No, no; we want slaves. A terrible dearth of 'em in Barbadoes, +lately! But your dingy passengers for my money. Give me a vessel like a +collier, where all the lading tumbles out as black as my hat. But are you +sure, now, you ar'n't mistaken? [_To 1st Planter._] + +_1st Plant._ Mistaken! 'sbud, do you doubt my glass? I can discover a +gull by it six leagues off: I could see every thing as plain as if I +was on board. + +_2d Plant._ Indeed! and what were her colours? + +_1st Plant._ Um! why English----or Dutch----or French----I don't +exactly remember. + +_2d Plant._ What were the sailors aboard? + +_1st Plant._ Eh! why they were English too----or Dutch----or +French----I can't perfectly recollect. + +_2d Plant._ Your glass, neighbour, is a little like a glass too much: +it makes you forget every thing you ought to remember. [_Cry without_, +"A sail, a sail!"] + +_1st Plant._ Egad, but I'm right though. Now, gentlemen! + +_All._ Aye, aye; the devil take the hindmost. + + [_Exeunt hastily._ + +_Enter NARCISSA and PATTY._ + + +SONG. + + _Freshly now the breeze is blowing,_ + _As yon ship at anchor rides;_ + _Sullen waves, incessant flowing,_ + _Rudely dash against the sides._ + _So my heart, its course impeded,_ + _Beats in my perturbed breast;_ + _Doubts, like waves by waves succeeded,_ + _Rise, and still deny it rest._ + + +_Patty._ Well, ma'am, as I was saying---- + +_Nar._ Well, say no more of what you were saying--Sure, Patty, you +forget where you are; a little caution will be necessary now, I think. + +_Patty._ Lord, madam, how is it possible to help talking? We are in +Barbadoes here, to be sure--but then, ma'am, one may let out a little +in a private morning's walk by ourselves. + +_Nar._ Nay, it's the same thing with you in doors. + +_Patty._ I never blab, ma'am, never, as I hope for a gown. + +_Nar._ And your never blabbing, as you call it, depends chiefly on that +hope, I believe. + +_Patty._ I have told the story of our voyage, indeed, to old Guzzle, +the butler. + +_Nar._ And thus you lead him to imagine I am but little inclined to the +match. + +_Patty._ Lord, ma'am, how could that be? Why I never said a word about +Captain Campley. + +_Nar._ Hush! hush! for heaven's sake. + +_Patty._ Aye! there it is now. But if our voyage from England was so +pleasant, it wasn't owing to Mr. Inkle, I'm certain. He didn't play the +fiddle in our cabin, and dance on the deck, and come languishing with a +glass of warm water in his hand, when we were sea-sick. Ah, ma'am, that +water warm'd your heart, I'm confident. Mr. Inkle! No, no; Captain +Cam---- + +_Nar._ There is no end to this! Remember, Patty, keep your secrecy, or +you entirely lose my favour. + +_Patty._ Never fear me, ma'am. But if somebody I know is not acquainted +with the Governor, there's such a thing as dancing at balls, and +squeezing hands when you lead up, and squeezing them again when you +cast down. I'm as close as a patch box. Mum's the word, ma'am, I +promise you. + + [_Exit._ + +_Nar._ How awkward is my present situation! Promised to one, who, +perhaps, may never again be heard of; and who, I am sure, if he ever +appears to claim me, will do it merely on the score of interest--pressed +too by another, who has already, I fear, too much interest in my +heart--what can I do? What plan can I follow? + +_Enter CAMPLEY._ + +_Camp._ Follow my advice, Narcissa, by all means. Enlist with me under +the best banners in the world. General Hymen for my money! little +Cupid's his drummer: he has been beating a round rub-a-dub on our +hearts, and we have only to obey the word of command, fall into the +ranks of matrimony, and march through life together. + +_Nar._ Then consider our situation. + +_Camp._ That has been duly considered. In short, the case stands +exactly thus--your intended spouse is all for money; I am all for love. +He is a rich rogue; I am rather a poor honest fellow. He would pocket +your fortune; I will take you without a fortune in your pocket. + +_Nar._ Oh! I am sensible of the favour, most gallant Captain Campley; +and my father, no doubt, will be very much obliged to you. + +_Camp._ Aye, there's the devil of it! Sir Christopher Curry's confounded +good character knocks me up at once. Yet I am not acquainted with him +neither; not known to him even by sight; being here only as a private +gentleman, on a visit to my old relation, out of regimentals, and so +forth; and not introduced to the Governor, as other officers of the +place. But then, the report of his hospitality--his odd, blunt, whimsical +friendship--his whole behaviour-- + +_Nar._ All stare you in the face; eh, Campley? + +_Camp._ They do, till they put me out of countenance. + +_Nar._ What signifies talking to _me_, when you have such opposition +from others? Why hover about the city, instead of boldly attacking the +guard? Wheel about, captain! face the enemy! March! Charge! Rout +'em!--Drive 'em before you, and then-- + +_Camp._ And then-- + +_Nar._ Lud ha' mercy on the poor city! + +_Enter PATTY, hastily._ + +_Patty._ Oh lud, ma'am, I'm frightened out of my wits! sure as I'm +alive, ma'am, Mr. Inkle is not dead; I saw his man, ma'am, just now, +coming ashore in a boat, with other passengers, from the vessel that's +come to the island. + + [_Exit._ + +_Nar._ Then one way or other I must determine.--[_To CAMPLEY._] Look'ye, +Mr. Campley, something has happened which makes me wave ceremonies.--If +you mean to apply to my father, remember, that delays are dangerous. + +_Camp._ Indeed! + +_Nar._ I mayn't be always in the same mind, you know. [_Smiling._] + + [_Exit._ + +_Camp._ Nay, then--Gad, I'm almost afraid too--but living in this state +of doubt is torment. I'll e'en put a good face on the matter; cock my +hat; make my bow; and try to reason the Governor into compliance. Faint +heart never won a fair lady. + + +SONG. + + _Why should I vain fears discover,_ + _Prove a dying, sighing swain?_ + _Why turn shilly-shally lover,_ + _Only to prolong my pain?_ + + _When we woo the dear enslaver,_ + _Boldly ask, and she will grant;_ + _How should we obtain a favour,_ + _But by telling what we want?_ + + +_Enter TRUDGE and WOWSKI, (as from the ship), with a dirty runner to one +of the inns._ + +_Run._ This way, sir; if you will let me recommend---- + +_Trudge._ Come along, Wows! Take care of your furs, and your feathers, +my girl! + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ That's right.--Somebody might steal 'em, perhaps. + +_Wows._ Steal!--What that? + +_Trudge._ Oh Lord! see what one loses by not being born in a christian +country. + +_Run._ If you would, sir, but mention to your master, the house that +belongs to my master; the best accommodations on the quay.-- + +_Trudge._ What's your sign, my lad? + +_Run._ The Crown, sir.--Here it is. + +_Trudge._ Well, get us a room for half an hour, and we'll come: and +harkee! let it be light and airy, d'ye hear? My master has been used to +your open apartments lately. + +_Run._ Depend on it.--Much obliged to you, sir. + + [_Exit._ + +_Wows._ Who be that fine man? He great prince? + +_Trudge._ A prince--Ha! ha!----No, not quite a prince--but he belongs +to the Crown. But how do you like this, Wows? Isn't it fine? + +_Wows._ Wonder! + +_Trudge._ Fine men, eh? + +_Wows._ Iss! all white; like you. + +_Trudge._ Yes, all the fine men are like me. As different from your +people as powder and ink, or paper and blacking. + +_Wows._ And fine lady--Face like snow. + +_Trudge._ What! the fine lady's complexions? Oh, yes, exactly; for too +much heat very often dissolves 'em! Then their dress, too. + +_Wows._ Your countrymen dress so? + +_Trudge._ Better, better a great deal. Why, a young flashy Englishman +will sometimes carry a whole fortune on his back. But did you mind the +women? All here--and there; [_Pointing before and behind._] they have it +all from us in England.--And then the fine things they carry on their +heads, Wowski. + +_Wows._ Iss. One lady carry good fish----so fine, she call every body +to look at her. + +_Trudge._ Pshaw! an old woman bawling flounders. But the fine girls we +meet, here, on the quay--so round and so plump! + +_Wows._ You not love me now? + +_Trudge._ Not love you! Zounds, have not I given you proofs? + +_Wows._ Iss. Great many: but now you get here, you forget poor Wowski! + +_Trudge._ Not I. I'll stick to you like wax. + +_Wows._ Ah! I fear! What make you love me now? + +_Trudge._ Gratitude, to be sure. + +_Wows._ What that? + +_Trudge._ Ha! this it is, now, to live without education. The poor dull +devils of her country are all in the practice of gratitude, without +finding out what it means; while we can tell the meaning of it, with +little or no practice at all.--Lord, Lord, what a fine advantage +christian learning is! Hark'ee, Wows! + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ Now we've accomplished our landing, I'll accomplish you. You +remember the instructions I gave you on the voyage? + +_Wows._ Iss. + +_Trudge._ Let's see now--What are you to do, when I introduce you to +the nobility, gentry, and others--of my acquaintance? + +_Wows._ Make believe sit down; then get up. + +_Trudge._ Let me see you do it. [_She makes a low courtesy._] Very +well! and how are you to recommend yourself, when you have nothing to +say, amongst all our great friends? + +_Wows._ Grin--show my teeth. + +_Trudge._ Right! they'll think you've lived with people of fashion. But +suppose you meet an old shabby friend in misfortune, that you don't +wish to be seen speak to--what would you do? + +_Wows._ Look blind--not see him. + +_Trudge._ Why would you do that? + +_Wows._ 'Cause I can't see good friend in distress. + +_Trudge._ That's a good girl! and I wish every body could boast of so +kind a motive for such cursed cruel behaviour.--Lord! how some of your +flashy bankers' clerks have _cut_ me in Threadneedle street.--But come, +though we have got among fine folks, here, in an English settlement, I +won't be ashamed of my old acquaintance: yet, for my own part, I should +not be sorry, now, to see my old friend with a new face.--Odsbobs! I +see Mr. Inkle--Go in, Wows; call for what you like best. + +_Wows._ Then I call for you--ah! I fear I not see you often now. But +you come soon---- + + +SONG. + + _Remember when we walked alone,_ + _And heard, so gruff, the lion growl:_ + _And when the moon so bright it shone,_ + _We saw the wolf look up and howl;_ + _I led you well, safe to our cell,_ + _While tremblingly,_ + _You said to me,_ + _--And kiss'd so sweet--dear Wowski tell,_ + _How could I live without ye?_ + + _But now you come across the sea,_ + _And tell me here no monsters roar;_ + _You'll walk alone, and leave poor me,_ + _When wolves, to fright you, howl no more._ + _But ah! think well on our old cell,_ + _Where tremblingly,_ + _You kiss'd poor me--_ + _Perhaps you'll say--dear Wowski tell,_ + _How can I live without ye?_ + + + [_Exit WOWSKI._ + +_Trudge._ Who have we here? + +_Enter FIRST PLANTER._ + +_Plant._ Hark'ee, young man! Is that young Indian of yours going to our +market? + +_Trudge._ Not she--she never went to market in all her life. + +_Plant._ I mean, is she for our sale of slaves? Our black fair? + +_Trudge._ A black fair, ha! ha! ha! You hold it on a brown green, I +suppose. + +_Plant._ She's your slave, I take it? + +_Trudge._ Yes; and I'm her humble servant, I take it. + +_Plant._ Aye, aye, natural enough at sea.--But at how much do you value +her? + +_Trudge._ Just as much as she has saved me--My own life. + +_Plant._ Pshaw! you mean to sell her? + +_Trudge._ [_Staring._] Zounds! what a devil of a fellow! Sell Wows!--my +poor, dear, dingy, wife! + +_Plant._ Come, come, I've heard your story from the ship.--Don't let's +haggle; I'll bid as fair as any trader amongst us. But no tricks upon +travellers, young man, to raise your price.----Your wife, indeed! Why +she's no christian! + +_Trudge._ No; but I am; so I shall do as I'd be done by: and, if you +were a good one yourself, you'd know, that fellow-feeling for a poor +body, who wants your help, is the noblest mark of our religion.--I +wou'dn't be articled clerk to such a fellow for the world. + +_Plant._ Hey-day! the booby's in love with her! Why, sure, friend, you +would not live here with a black? + +_Trudge._ Plague on't; there it is. I shall be laughed out of my +honesty, here.--But you may be jogging, friend; I may feel a little +queer, perhaps, at showing her face--but, dam me, if ever I do any +thing to make me asham'd of showing my own. + +_Plant._ Why, I tell you, her very complexion---- + +_Trudge._ Rot her complexion--I'll tell you what, Mr. _Fair-trader_, if +your head and heart were to change places, I've a notion you'd be as +black in the face as an ink-bottle. + +_Plant._ Pshaw! the fellow's a fool--a rude rascal--he ought to be sent +back to the savages again. He's not fit to live among us christians. + + [_Exit PLANTER._ + +_Trudge._ Oh, here comes my master, at last. + +_Enter INKLE, and a second PLANTER._ + +_Inkle._ Nay, sir, I understand your customs well; your Indian markets +are not unknown to me. + +_2d Plant._ And, as you seem to understand business, I need not tell +you, that dispatch is the soul of it. Her name you say is-- + +_Inkle._ Yarico: but urge this no more, I beg you; I must not listen +to it: for, to speak freely, her anxious care of me demands, that +here,--though here it may seem strange--I should avow my love for her. + +_Plant._ Lord help you for a merchant!--It's the first time I ever +heard a trader talk of love; except, indeed, the love of trade, and the +love of the _Sweet Molly_, my ship. + +_Inkle._ Then, sir, you cannot feel my situation. + +_Plant._ Oh yes, I can! we have a hundred such cases just after a +voyage; but they never last long on land. It's amazing how constant +a young man is in a ship! But, in two words, will you dispose of her, +or no? + +_Inkle._ In two words, then, meet me here at noon, and we'll speak +further on this subject: and lest you think I trifle with your +business, hear why I wish this pause. Chance threw me, on my passage to +your island, among a savage people. Deserted,--defenceless,--cut off +from companions,--my life at stake--to this young creature I owe my +preservation;--she found me, like a dying bough, torn from its kindred +branches; which, as it drooped, she moistened with her tears. + +_Plant._ Nay, nay, talk like a man of this world. + +_Inkle._ Your patience.--And yet your interruption goes to my present +feelings; for on our sail to this your island--the thoughts of time +mispent--doubt--fears--for call it what you will--have much perplexed +me; and as your spires arose, reflections still rose with them; for +here, sir, lie my interests, great connexions, and other weighty +matters--which now I need not mention---- + +_Plant._ But which her presence here will mar. + +_Inkle._ Even so--And yet the gratitude I owe her-- + +_Plant._ Pshaw! So because she preserved your life, your gratitude is +to make you give up all you have to live upon. + +_Inkle._ Why, in that light indeed--This never struck me yet, I'll +think on't. + +_Plant._ Aye, aye, do so--Why, what return can the wench wish more than +taking her from a wild, idle, savage people, and providing for her, +here, with reputable hard work, in a genteel, polished, tender, +christian country? + +_Inkle._ Well, sir, at noon---- + +_Plant._ I'll meet you--but remember, young gentleman, you must get her +off your hands--you must, indeed.--I shall have her a bargain, I see +that--your servant!--Zounds, how late it is--but never be put out of +your way for a woman--I must run--my wife will play the devil with me +for keeping breakfast. + + [_Exit._ + +_Inkle._ Trudge. + +_Trudge._ Sir! + +_Inkle._ Have you provided a proper apartment? + +_Trudge._ Yes, sir, at the Crown here; a neat, spruce room they tell +me. You have not seen such a convenient lodging this good while, I +believe. + +_Inkle._ Are there no better inns in the town? + +_Trudge._ Um----Why there is the Lion, I hear, and the Bear, and the +Boar--but we saw them at the door of all our late lodgings, and found +but bad accommodations within, sir. + +_Inkle._ Well, run to the end of the quay, and conduct Yarico hither. +The road is straight before you: you can't miss it. + +_Trudge._ Very well, sir. What a fine thing it is to turn one's back on +a master, without running into a wolf's belly! One can follow one's +nose on a message here, and be sure it won't be bit off by the way. + + [_Exit._ + +_Inkle._ Let me reflect a little. Part with her!--My interest, honour, +engagements to Narcissa, all demand it. My father's precepts too--I can +remember, when I was a boy, what pains he took to mould me.--School'd +me from morn to night--and still the burden of his song was--Prudence! +Prudence! Thomas, and you'll rise. His maxims rooted in my heart, and +as I grew--_they_ grew; till I was reckoned, among our friends, a +steady, sober, solid, good young man; and all the neighbours call'd +me _the prudent Mr. Thomas_. And shall I now, at once, kick down the +character which I have raised so warily?--Part with her--sell her!--The +thought once struck me in our cabin, as she lay sleeping by me; but, in +her slumbers, she passed her arm around me, murmured a blessing on my +name, and broke my meditations. + +_Enter YARICO and TRUDGE._ + +_Yar._ My love! + +_Trudge._ I have been showing her all the wigs and bales of goods we +met on the quay, sir. + +_Yar._ Oh! I have feasted my eyes on wonders. + +_Trudge._ And I'll go feast on a slice of beef, in the inn, here. + + [_Exit._ + +_Yar._ My mind has been so busy, that I almost forgot even you. I wish +you had stayed with me--You would have seen such sights! + +_Inkle._ Those sights have become familiar to me, Yarico. + +_Yar._ And yet I wish they were not--You might partake my pleasures--but +now again, methinks, I will not wish so--for, with too much gazing, you +might neglect poor _Yarico_. + +_Inkle._ Nay, nay, my care is still for you. + +_Yar._ I am sure it is: and if I thought it was not, I would tell you +tales about our poor old grot--bid you remember our palm-tree near the +brook, where in the shade you often stretched yourself, while I would +take your head upon my lap, and sing my love to sleep. I know you'll +love me then. + + +SONG. + + _Our grotto was the sweetest place!_ + _The bending boughs, with fragrance blowing,_ + _Would check the brook's impetuous pace,_ + _Which murmur'd to be stopp'd from flowing._ + _'Twas there we met, and gaz'd our fill:_ + _Ah! think on this, and love me still._ + + _'Twas then my bosom first knew fear,_ + _--Fear to an Indian maid a stranger--_ + _The war-song, arrows, hatchet, spear,_ + _All warn'd me of my lover's danger._ + _For him did cares my bosom fill:--_ + _Ah! think on this, and love me still._ + + _For him, by day, with care conceal'd,_ + _To search for food I climb'd the mountain;_ + _And when the night no form reveal'd,_ + _Jocund we sought the bubbling fountain._ + _Then, then would joy my bosom fill;_ + _Ah! think on this and love me still._ + + [_Exeunt._ + + +SCENE II. + + _An Apartment in the House of SIR CHRISTOPHER CURRY._ + +_Enter SIR CHRISTOPHER and MEDIUM._ + +_Sir Chr._ I tell you, old Medium, you are all wrong. Plague on your +doubts! Inkle _shall_ have my Narcissa. Poor fellow! I dare say he's +finely chagrined at this temporary parting--Eat up with the blue +devils, I warrant. + +_Med._ Eat up by the black devils, I warrant; for I left him in hellish +hungry company. + +_Sir Chr._ Pshaw! he'll arrive with the next vessel, depend +on't--besides, have not I had this in view ever since they were +children? I must and will have it so, I tell you. Is not it, as it +were, a marriage made above? They _shall_ meet, I'm positive. + +_Med._ Shall they? Then they must meet where the marriage was made; for +hang me, if I think it will ever happen below. + +_Sir Chr._ Ha!--and if that is the case--hang me, if I think you'll +ever be at the celebration of it. + +_Med._ Yet, let me tell you, Sir Christopher Curry, my character is as +unsullied as a sheet of white paper. + +_Sir Chr._ Well said, old fool's-cap! and it's as mere a blank as a +sheet of white paper. You are honest, old Medium, by comparison, just +as a fellow sentenced to transportation is happier than his companion +condemned to the gallows--Very worthy, because you are no rogue; tender +hearted, because you never go to fires and executions; and an affectionate +father and husband, because you never pinch your children, or kick your +wife out of bed. + +_Med._ And that, as the world goes, is more than every man can say for +himself. Yet, since you force me to speak my positive qualities--but, +no matter,--you remember me in London; didn't I, as member of the +Humane Society, bring a man out of the New River, who, it was +afterwards found, had done me an injury? + +_Sir Chr._ And, dam'me, if I would not kick any man into the New River +that had done me an injury. There's the difference of our honesty. +Oons! if you want to be an honest fellow, act from the impulse of +nature. Why, you have no more gall than a pigeon. + +_Med._ And you have as much gall as a turkey cock, and are as hot into +the bargain--You're always so hasty; among the hodge-podge of your +foibles, passion is always predominant. + +_Sir Chr._ So much the better.----Foibles, quotha? foibles are foils +that give additional lustre to the gems of virtue. You have not so many +foils as I, perhaps. + +_Med._ And, what's more, I don't want 'em, Sir Christopher, I thank you. + +_Sir Chr._ Very true; for the devil a gem have you to set off with 'em. + +_Med._ Well, well; I never mention errors; that, I flatter myself, is +no disagreeable quality.--It don't become me to say you are hot. + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sblood! but it does become you: it becomes every man, +especially an Englishman, to speak the dictates of his heart. + +_Enter SERVANT._ + +_Serv._ An English vessel, sir, just arrived in the harbour. + +_Sir Chr._ A vessel! Od's my life!----Now for the news--If it is but as +I hope--Any dispatches? + +_Serv._ This letter, sir, brought by a sailor from the quay. + + [_Exit._ + +_Sir Chr._ [_Opening the letter_] Huzza! here it is. He's safe--safe +and sound at Barbadoes. [Reading]---- + + _Sir, + My master, Mr. Inkle, is just arrived in your harbour_, + +Here, read, read! old Medium-- + +_Med._ [Reading.] Um'-- + + _Your harbour;--we were taken up by an English vessel, on the + 14th ult^{o}. He only waits till I have puffed his hair, to pay + his respects to you, and Miss Narcissa: In the mean time, he has + ordered me to brush up this letter for your honour, from_ + + _Your humble Servant, to command_, + TIMOTHY TRUDGE. + + +_Sir Chr._ Hey day! Here's a style! the voyage has jumbled the fellow's +brains out of their places; the water has made his head turn round. But +no matter; mine turns round, too. I'll go and prepare Narcissa directly; +they shall be married slap-dash, as soon as he comes from the quay. From +Neptune to Hymen: from the hammock to the bridal bed--Ha! old boy! + +_Med._ Well, well; don't flurry yourself--you're so hot! + +_Sir Chr._ Hot! blood, ar'n't I in the West Indies? Ar'n't I governor +of Barbadoes? He shall have her as soon as he sets his foot on shore. +"But, plague on't, he's so slow."--She shall rise to him like Venus out +of the sea. His hair puffed? He ought to have been puffing, here, out +of breath, by this time. + +_Med._ Very true; but Venus's husband is always supposed to be lame, +you know, Sir Christopher. + +_Sir Chr._ Well, now do, my good fellow, run down to the shore, and see +what detains him. + + [_Hurrying him off._ + +_Med._ Well, well; I will, I will. + + [_Exit._ + +_Sir Chr._ In the mean time I'll get ready Narcissa, and all shall be +concluded in a second. My heart's set upon it.--Poor fellow! after all +his rumbles, and tumbles, and jumbles, and fits of despair--I shall be +rejoiced to see him. I have not seen him since he was that high.--But, +zounds! he's so tardy! + +_Enter SERVANT._ + +_Serv._ A strange gentleman, sir, come from the quay, desires to see you. + +_Sir Chr._ From the quay? Od's my life!----'Tis he--'Tis Inkle! Show +him up directly. + + [_Exit Servant._ + +The rogue is expeditious after all.--I'm so happy. + +_Enter CAMPLEY._ + +My dear fellow! [_Shakes hands._] I'm rejoiced to see you. Welcome; +welcome here, with all my soul! + +_Camp._ This reception, Sir Christopher, is beyond my warmest +wishes--Unknown to you---- + +_Sir Chr._ Aye, aye; we shall be better acquainted by and by. Well, and +how, eh! tell me!--But old Medium and I have talked over your affair a +hundred times a day, ever since Narcissa arrived. + +_Camp._ You surprise me! Are you then really acquainted with the whole +affair? + +_Sir Chr._ Every tittle. + +_Camp._ And, can you, sir, pardon what is past?-- + +_Sir Chr._ Pooh! how could you help it? + +_Camp._ Very true--sailing in the same ship--and--But when you consider +the past state of my mind----the black prospect before me.-- + +_Sir Chr._ Ha! ha! Black enough, I dare say. + +_Camp._ The difficulty I have felt in bringing myself face to face to you. + +_Sir Chr._ That I am convinced of--but I knew you would come the first +opportunity. + +_Camp._ Very true: yet the distance between the Governor of Barbadoes +and myself. [_Bowing._] + +_Sir Chr._ Yes--a devilish way asunder. + +_Camp._ Granted, sir: which has distressed me with the cruellest doubts +as to our meeting. + +_Sir Chr._ It was a toss up. + +_Camp._ The old gentleman seems devilish kind.--Now to soften him. +[_Aside._] Perhaps, sir, in your younger days, you may have been in the +same situation yourself. + +_Sir Chr._ Who? I! 'sblood! no, never in my life. + +_Camp._ I wish you had, with all my soul, Sir Christopher. + +_Sir Chr._ Upon my soul, Sir, I am very much obliged to you. [_Bowing._] + +_Camp._ As what I now mention might have greater weight with you. + +_Sir Chr._ Pooh! pr'ythee! I tell you I pitied you from the bottom of +my heart. + +_Camp._ Indeed! if, with your leave, I may still venture to mention +Miss Narcissa-- + +_Sir Chr._ An impatient, sensible young dog! like me to a hair! Set +your heart at rest, my boy. She's yours; yours before to-morrow morning. + +_Camp._ Amazement! I can scarce believe my senses. + +_Sir Chr._ Zounds! you ought to be out of your senses: but dispatch--make +short work of it, ever while you live, my boy. Here she is. + +_Enter NARCISSA and PATTY._ + +Here girl: here's your swain. + + [_To NAR._ + +_Camp._ I just parted with my Narcissa, on the quay, sir. + +_Sir Chr._ Did you! Ah, sly dog----had a meeting before you came to the +old gentleman.--But here--Take him, and make much of him--and, for fear +of further separations, you shall e'en be tacked together directly. +What say you, girl? + +_Camp._ Will my Narcissa consent to my happiness? + +_Nar._ I always obey my father's commands, with pleasure, sir. + +_Sir Chr._ Od! I'm so happy, I hardly know which way to turn; but we'll +have the carriage directly; drive down to the quay; trundle old Spintext +into church, and hey for matrimony! + +_Camp._ With all my heart, Sir Christopher; the sooner the better. + + +SIR CHRISTOPHER, CAMPLEY, NARCISSA, PATTY. + + Sir Chr. _Your Colinettes, and Arriettes,_ + _Your Damons of the grove,_ + _Who like fallals, and pastorals,_ + _Waste years in love;_ + _But modern folks know better jokes,_ + _And, courting once begun,_ + _To church they hop at once--and pop--_ + _Egad, all's done!_ + + All. _In life we prance a country dance,_ + _Where every couple stands;_ + _Their partners set--a while curvet--_ + _But soon join hands._ + + Nar. _When at our feet, so trim and neat,_ + _The powder'd lover sues,_ + _He vows he dies, the lady sighs,_ + _But can't refuse._ + _Ah! how can she unmov'd e'er see_ + _Her swain his death incur?_ + _If once the squire is seen expire,_ + _He lives with her._ + + All. _In life, &c. &c._ + + Patty. _When John and Bet are fairly met,_ + _John boldly tries his luck;_ + _He steals a buss, without more fuss,_ + _The bargain's struck._ + _Whilst things below are going so,_ + _Is Betty pray to blame?_ + _Who knows up stairs, her mistress fares_ + _Just, just the same._ + + All. _In life we prance, &c. &c._ + + [Exeunt. + + + + +ACT THE THIRD. + + +SCENE I. + + _The Quay._ + +_Enter PATTY._ + +_Patty._ Mercy on us! what a walk I have had of it! Well, matters go on +swimmingly at the Governor's--The old gentleman has ordered the carriage, +and the young couple will be whisked here, to church, in a quarter of an +hour. My business is to prevent young sobersides, young Inkle, from +appearing, to interrupt the ceremony.--Ha! here's the Crown, where I +hear he is housed: So now to find Trudge, and trump up a story, in the +true style of a chambermaid. [_Goes into the house._] [_PATTY within._] +I tell you it don't signify, and I will come up. [_TRUDGE within._] But +it does signify, and you can't come up. + +_Re-enter PATTY with TRUDGE._ + +_Patty._ You had better say at once, I shan't. + +_Trudge._ Well then, you shan't. + +_Patty._ Savage! Pretty behaviour you have picked up amongst the +Hottypots! Your London civility, like London itself, will soon be lost +in smoke, Mr. Trudge: and the politeness you have studied so long in +Threadneedle-street, blotted out by the blacks you have been living +with. + +_Trudge._ No such thing; I practised my politeness all the while I was +in the woods. Our very lodging taught me good manners; for I could +never bring myself to go into it without bowing. + +_Patty._ Don't tell me! A mighty civil reception you give a body, +truly, after a six weeks parting. + +_Trudge._ Gad, you're right; I am a little out here, to be sure. +[_Kisses her._] Well, how do you do? + +_Patty._ Pshaw, fellow! I want none of your kisses. + +_Trudge._ Oh! very well--I'll take it again. [_Offers to kiss her._] + +_Patty._ Be quiet. I want to see Mr. Inkle: I have a message to him +from Miss Narcissa. I shall get a sight of him, now, I believe. + +_Trudge._ May be not. He's a little busy at present. + +_Patty._ Busy--ha! Plodding! What he's at his multiplication table again? + +_Trudge._ Very likely; so it would be a pity to interrupt him, you know. + +_Patty._ Certainly; and the whole of my business was to prevent his +hurrying himself--Tell him, we shan't be ready to receive him, at the +Governor's, till to-morrow, d'ye hear? + +_Trudge._ No? + +_Patty._ No. Things are not prepared. The place isn't in order; and the +servants have not had proper notice of the arrival. Sir Christopher +intends Mr. Inkle, you know, for his son-in-law, and must receive him +in public form, (which can't be till to-morrow morning) for the honour +of his governorship: why the whole island will ring of it. + +_Trudge._ The devil it will! + +_Patty._ Yes; they've talked of nothing but my mistress's beauty and +fortune for these six weeks. Then he'll be introduced to the bride, you +know. + +_Trudge._ O, my poor master! + +_Patty._ Then a breakfast; then a procession; then--if nothing happens +to prevent it, he'll get into church, and be married in a crack. + +_Trudge._ Then he'll get into a damn'd scrape, in a crack. + +_Patty._ Hey-day! a scrape! How! + +_Trudge._ Nothing, nothing----It must out----Patty! + +_Patty._ Well! + +_Trudge._ Can you keep a secret? + +_Patty._ Try me. + +_Trudge._ Then [_Whispering._] My master keeps a girl. + +_Patty._ Oh, monstrous! another woman? + +_Trudge._ As sure as one and one make two. + +_Patty._ [_Aside._] Rare news for my mistress!--Why I can hardly believe +it: the grave, sly, steady, sober Mr. Inkle, do such a thing! + +_Trudge._ Pooh! it's always your sly, sober fellows, that go the most +after the girls. + +_Patty._ Well; I should sooner suspect _you_. + +_Trudge._ Me? Oh Lord! he! he!--Do you think any smart, tight, little, +black-eyed wench, would be struck with my figure? [_Conceitedly._] + +_Patty._ Pshaw! never mind your figure. Tell me how it happened? + +_Trudge._ You shall hear: when the ship left us ashore, my master +turned as pale as a sheet of paper. It isn't every body that's blest +with courage, Patty. + +_Patty._ True. + +_Trudge._ However, I bid him cheer up; told him, to stick to my elbow: +took the lead, and began our march. + +_Patty._ Well? + +_Trudge._ We hadn't gone far, when a damn'd one-eyed black boar, that +grinned like a devil, came down the hill in jog trot! My Master melted +as fast as a pot of pomatum! + +_Patty._ Mercy on us! + +_Trudge._ But what does I do, but whips out my desk knife, that I used +to cut the quills with at home; met the monster, and slit up his throat +like a pen--The boar bled like a pig. + +_Patty._ Lord! Trudge, what a great traveller you are! + +_Trudge._ Yes; I remember we fed on the flitch for a week. + +_Patty._ Well, well; but the lady. + +_Trudge._ The lady! Oh, true. By and by we came to a cave--a large +hollow room, under ground, like a warehouse in the Adelphi.--Well; +there we were half an hour, before I could get him to go in; there's no +accounting for fear, you know. At last, in we went, to a place hung round +with skins, as it might be a furrier's shop, and there was a fine lady, +snoring on a bow and arrows. + +_Patty._ What, all alone? + +_Trudge._ Eh!--No--no.--Hum--She had a young lion, by way of a lap-dog. + +_Patty._ Gemini; what did you do? + +_Trudge._ Gave her a jog, and she opened her eyes--she struck my master +immediately. + +_Patty._ Mercy on us! with what? + +_Trudge._ With her beauty, you ninny, to be sure: and they soon brought +matters to bear. The wolves witnessed the contract--I gave her away--The +crows croaked amen; and we had board and lodging for nothing. + +_Patty._ And this is she he has brought to Barbadoes? + +_Trudge._ The same. + +_Patty._ Well; and tell me, Trudge;--she's pretty, you say--Is she fair +or brown? or---- + +_Trudge._ Um! she's a good comely copper. + +_Patty._ How! a tawny? + +_Trudge._ Yes, quite dark; but very elegant; like a Wedgwood tea-pot. + +_Patty._ Oh! the monster! the filthy fellow! Live with a black-a-moor! + +_Trudge._ Why, there's no great harm in't, I hope? + +_Patty._ Faugh! I wou'dn't let him kiss me for the world: he'd make my +face all smutty. + +_Trudge._ Zounds! you are mighty nice all of a sudden; but I'd have you +to know, Madam Patty, that Black-a-moor ladies, as you call 'em, are +some of the very few whose complexions never rub off! 'Sbud, if they +did, Wows and I should have changed faces by this time--But mum; not a +word for your life. + +_Patty._ Not I! except to the Governor and family. [_Aside._] But I +must run--and, remember, Trudge, if your master has made a mistake +here, he has himself to thank for his pains. + + [_Exit PATTY._ + +_Trudge._ Pshaw! these girls are so plaguy proud of their white and +red! but I won't be shamed out of Wows, that's flat.-- + +_Enter WOWSKI._ + +Ah! Wows, I'm going to leave you. + +_Wows._ For what you leave me? + +_Trudge._ Master says I must. + +_Wows._ Ah, but you say in your country, women know best; and I say you +not leave me. + +_Trudge._ Master, to be sure, while we were in the forest, taught +Yarico to read, with his pencil and pocket-book. What then? Wows comes +on fine and fast in her lessons. A little awkward at first, to be +sure--Ha! ha!--She's so used to feed with her hands, that I can't get +her to eat her victuals, in a genteel, christian way, for the soul of +me; when she has stuck a morsel on her fork, she don't know how to +guide it, but pops up her knuckles to her mouth, and the meat goes up +to her ear. But, no matter--After all the fine, flashy London girls, +Wowski's the wench for my money. + + +SONG. + + _A clerk I was in London gay,_ + _Jemmy linkum feedle,_ + _And went in boots to see the play,_ + _Merry fiddlem tweedle._ + _I march'd the lobby, twirled my stick,_ + _Diddle, daddle, deedle;_ + _The girls all cry'd, "He's quite the kick."_ + _Oh, Jemmy linkum feedle._ + + _Hey! for America I sail,_ + _Yankee doodle, deedle;_ + _The sailor-boys cry'd, "Smoke his tail!"_ + _Jemmy linkum feedle._ + _On English belles I turned my back,_ + _Diddle, daddle, deedle;_ + _And got a foreign fair quite black,_ + _O twaddle, twaddle, tweedle!_ + + _Your London girls, with roguish trip,_ + _Wheedle, wheedle, wheedle,_ + _May boast their pouting under lip,_ + _Fiddle, faddle, feedle._ + _My Wows would beat a hundred such,_ + _Diddle, daddle, deedle,_ + _Whose upper lip pouts twice as much,_ + _O, pretty double wheedle!_ + + _Rings I'll buy to deck her toes;_ + _Jemmy linkum feedle;_ + _A feather fine shall grace her nose,_ + _Waving siddle seedle._ + _With jealousy I ne'er shall burst;_ + _Who'd steal my bone of bone-a?_ + _A white Othello, I can trust_ + _A dingy Desdemona._ + + [Exeunt. + + +SCENE II. + + _A Room in the Crown._ + +[_Enter INKLE._] + +_Inkle._ I know not what to think--I have given her distant hints of +parting; but still, so strong her confidence in my affection, she +prattles on without regarding me. Poor Yarico! I must not--cannot quit +her. When I would speak, her look, her mere simplicity disarms me; I dare +not wound such innocence. Simplicity is like a smiling babe, which, to +the ruffian that would murder it, stretching its little naked, helpless +arms, pleads, speechless, its own cause. And yet, Narcissa's family-- + +_Enter TRUDGE._ + +_Trudge._ There he is; like a beau bespeaking a coat--doubting which +colour to choose--Sir-- + +_Inkle._ What now? + +_Trudge._ Nothing unexpected, sir:--I hope you won't be angry; but I am +come to give you joy, sir! + +_Inkle._ Joy!----of what? + +_Trudge._ A wife, sir! a white one.--I know it will vex you, but Miss +Narcissa means to make you happy, to-morrow morning. + +_Inkle._ To-morrow! + +_Trudge._ Yes, sir; and as I have been out of employ, in both my +capacities, lately, after I have dressed your hair, I may draw up the +marriage articles. + +_Inkle._ Whence comes your intelligence, sir? + +_Trudge._ Patty told me all that has passed in the Governor's family, +on the quay, sir. Women, you know, can never keep a secret. You'll be +introduced in form, with the whole island to witness it. + +_Inkle._ So public, too!----Unlucky! + +_Trudge._ There will be nothing but rejoicings, in compliment to the +wedding, she tells me; all noise and uproar! Married people like it, +they say. + +_Inkle._ Strange! that I should be so blind to my interest, as to be +the only person this distresses. + +_Trudge._ They are talking of nothing else but the match, it seems. + +_Inkle._ Confusion! How can I, in honour, retract? + +_Trudge._ And the bride's merits---- + +_Inkle._ True!--A fund of merits!--I would not--but from necessity--a +case so nice as this--I--would not wish to retract. + +_Trudge._ Then they call her so handsome. + +_Inkle._ Very true! so handsome! the whole world would laugh at me; +they'd call it folly to retract. + +_Trudge._ And then they say so much of her fortune. + +_Inkle._ O death! it would be _madness_ to retract. Surely, my +faculties have slept, and this long parting from my Narcissa has +blunted my sense of her accomplishments. 'Tis this alone makes me so +weak and wavering. I'll see her immediately. [_Going._] + +_Trudge._ Stay, stay, sir; I am desired to tell you, the Governor won't +open his gates to us till to-morrow morning. + +_Inkle._ Well, be it so; it will give me time, at all events, to put my +affairs in train. + +_Trudge._ Yes; it's a short respite before execution; and if your +honour was to go and comfort poor Madam Yarico---- + +_Inkle._ Damnation! Scoundrel, how dare you offer your advice?--I dread +to think of her! + +_Trudge._ I've done, sir, I've done--But I know I should blubber over +Wows all night, if I thought of parting with her in the morning. + +_Inkle._ Insolence! begone, sir! + +_Trudge._ Lord, sir, I only---- + +_Inkle._ Get down stairs, sir, directly. + +_Trudge._ [_Going out._] Ah! you may well put your hand to your head; +and a bad head it must be, to forget that Madam Yarico prevented her +countrymen from peeling off the upper part of it. [_Aside._] + + [_Exit._ + +_Inkle._ 'Sdeath, what am I about? How have I slumbered! Is it I?--I--who, +in London, laughed at the younkers of the town--and, when I saw their +chariots, with some fine, tempting girl, perked in the corner, come +shopping to the city, would cry--Ah!--there sits ruin--there flies the +Green-horn's money! then wondered with myself how men could trifle time +on women; or, indeed, think of any women without fortunes. And now, +forsooth, it rests with _me_ to turn romantic puppy, and give up all +for love.--Give up!--Oh, monstrous folly!--thirty thousand pounds! + +TRUDGE. [_Peeping in at the door._] + +_Trudge._ May I come in, sir? + +_Inkle._ What does the booby want? + +_Trudge._ Sir, your uncle wants to see _you_. + +_Inkle._ Mr. Medium! show him up directly. + + [_Exit TRUDGE._ + +He must not know of this. To-morrow! I wish this marriage were more +distant, that I might break it to her by degrees: she'd take my purpose +better, were it less suddenly delivered. + +_Enter MEDIUM._ + +_Med._ Ah! here he is! Give me your hand, nephew! welcome, welcome to +Barbadoes, with all my heart. + +_Inkle._ I am glad to meet you here, uncle! + +_Med._ That you are, that you are, I'm sure. Lord! Lord! when we parted +last, how I wished we were in a room together, if it were but the black +hole! I have not been able to sleep o'nights for thinking of you. I've +laid awake, and fancied I saw you sleeping your last, with your head in +the lion's mouth, for a night-cap! and I've never seen a bear brought +over to dance about the street, but I thought you might be bobbing up +and down in its belly. + +_Inkle._ I am very much obliged to you. + +_Med._ Aye, aye, I am happy enough to find you safe and sound, I promise +you. But, you have a fine prospect before you now, young man. I am come +to take you with me to Sir Christopher, who is impatient to see you. + +_Inkle._ To-morrow, I hear, he expects me. + +_Med._ To-morrow! directly--this moment--in half a second.--I left him +standing on tip-toe, as he calls it, to embrace you; and he's standing +on tiptoe now in the great parlour, and there he'll stand till you come +to him. + +_Inkle._ Is he so hasty? + +_Med._ Hasty! he's all pepper--and wonders you are not with him, before +it's possible to get at him. Hasty, indeed! Why, he vows you shall have +his daughter this very night. + +_Inkle._ What a situation! + +_Med._ Why, it's hardly fair just after a voyage. But come, bustle, +bustle, he'll think you neglect him. He's rare and touchy, I can tell +you; and if he once takes it into his head that you show the least +slight to his daughter, it would knock up all your schemes in a minute. + +_Inkle._ Confusion! If he should hear of Yarico! [_Aside._] + +_Med._ But at present you are all and all with him; he has been telling +me his intentions these six weeks; you'll be a fine warm husband, I +promise you. + +_Inkle._ This cursed connexion! [_Aside._] + +_Med._ It is not for me, though, to tell you how to play your cards; +you are a prudent young man, and can make calculations in a wood. + +_Inkle._ Fool! fool! fool! [_Aside._] + +_Med._ Why, what the devil is the matter with you? + +_Inkle._ It must be done effectually, or all is lost; mere parting +would not conceal it. [_Aside._] + +_Med._ Ah! now he's got to his damn'd square root again, I suppose, and +Old Nick would not move him.--Why, nephew! + +_Inkle._ The planter that I spoke with cannot be arrived--but time is +precious--the first I meet--common prudence now demands it. I'm fixed, +I'll part with her. [_Aside._] + + [_Exit._ + +_Med._ Damn me, but he's mad! The woods have turned the poor boy's +brains; he's scalped, and gone crazy! Hoho! Inkle! Nephew! Gad, I'll +spoil your arithmetic, I warrant me. + + [_Exit._ + + +SCENE III. + + _The Quay._ + +_Enter SIR CHRISTOPHER CURRY._ + +_Sir Chr._ Ods, my life! I can scarce contain my happiness. I have left +them safe in church, in the middle of the ceremony. I ought to have +given Narcissa away, they told me; but I capered about so much for joy, +that Old Spintext advised me to go and cool my heels on the quay, till +it was all over. Ods I'm so happy; and they shall see, now, what an old +fellow can do at a wedding. + +_Enter INKLE._ + +_Inkle._ Now for dispatch! Hark'ee, old gentleman! [_To the Governor._] + +_Sir Chr._ Well, young gentleman? + +_Inkle._ If I mistake not, I know your business here. + +_Sir Chr._ 'Egad, I believe half the island knows it, by this time. + +_Inkle._ Then to the point--I have a female, whom I wish to part with. + +_Sir Chr._ Very likely; it's a common case, now a-days, with many a man. + +_Inkle._ If you could satisfy me you would use her mildly, and treat +her with more kindness than is usual--for I can tell you she's of no +common stamp--perhaps we might agree. + +_Sir Chr._ Oho! a slave! Faith, now I think on't, my daughter may want +an attendant or two extraordinary; and as you say she's a delicate +girl, above the common run, and none of your thick-lipped, flat-nosed, +squabby, dumpling dowdies, I don't much care if-- + +_Inkle._ And for her treatment-- + +_Sir Chr._ Look ye, young man; I love to be plain: I shall treat her +a good deal better than you would, I fancy; for though I witness this +custom every day, I can't help thinking the only excuse for buying our +fellow creatures, is to rescue them from the hands of those who are +unfeeling enough to bring them to market. + +_Inkle._ Fair words, old gentleman; an Englishman won't put up an affront. + +_Sir Chr._ An Englishman! more shame for you! Let Englishmen blush at +such practices. Men, who so fully feel the blessings of liberty, are +doubly cruel in depriving the helpless of their freedom. + +_Inkle._ Let me assure you, sir, it is not my occupation; but for a +private reason--an instant pressing necessity---- + +_Sir Chr._ Well, well, I have a pressing necessity too; I can't stand +to talk now; I expect company here presently; but if you'll ask for me +to-morrow, at the Castle-- + +_Inkle._ The Castle! + +_Sir Chr._ Aye, sir, the Castle; the Governor's Castle; known all over +Barbadoes. + +_Inkle._ 'Sdeath this man must be on the Governor's establishment: +his steward, perhaps, and sent after me, while Sir Christopher is +impatiently waiting for me. I've gone too far; my secret may be +known--As 'tis, I'll win this fellow to my interest. [_To him._]--One +word more, sir: my business must be done immediately; and as you seem +acquainted at the Castle, if you should see me there--and there I mean +to sleep to-night---- + +_Sir Chr._ The devil you do! + +_Inkle._ Your finger on your lips; and never breathe a syllable of this +transaction. + +_Sir Chr._ No! Why not? + +_Inkle._ Because, for reasons, which, perhaps, you'll know to-morrow, I +might be injured with the Governor, whose most particular friend I am. + +_Sir Chr._ So! here's a particular friend of mine, coming to sleep +at my house, that I never saw in my life. I'll sound this fellow. +[_Aside._] I fancy, young gentleman, as you are such a bosom friend of +the Governor's, you can hardly do any thing to alter your situation +with him? + +_Inkle._ Oh! pardon me; but you'll find that hereafter--besides, you, +doubtless, know his character? + +_Sir Chr._ Oh, as well as I do my own. But let's understand one +another. You may trust me, now you've gone so far. You are acquainted +with his character, no doubt, to a hair? + +_Inkle._ I am--I see we shall understand each other. You know him too, +I see, as well as I.--A very touchy, testy, hot old fellow. + +_Sir Chr._ Here's a scoundrel! I hot and touchy! Zounds! I can hardly +contain my passion!--But I won't discover myself. I'll see the bottom +of this----[_To him._] Well now, as we seem to have come to a tolerable +explanation--let's proceed to business--Bring me the woman. + +_Inkle._ No; there you must excuse me. I rather would avoid seeing her +more; and wish it to be settled without my seeming interference. My +presence might distress her--You conceive me? + +_Sir Chr._ Zounds! what an unfeeling rascal!--The poor girl's in love +with him, I suppose. No, no, fair and open. My dealing is with you and +you only: I see her now, or I declare off. + +_Inkle._ Well then, you must be satisfied: yonder's my servant--ha--a +thought has struck me. Come here, sir. + +_Enter TRUDGE._ + +I'll write my purpose, and send it her by him--It's lucky that I taught +her to decypher characters; my labour now is paid. [_Takes out his +pocket book, and writes._]--This is somewhat less abrupt; 'twill soften +matters. [_To himself._] Give this to Yarico; then bring her hither +with you. + +_Trudge._ I shall, sir. [_Going._] + +_Inkle._ Stay; come back. This soft fool, if uninstructed, may add to her +distress. When she has read this paper, seem to make light of it; tell +her it is a thing of course, done purely for her good. I here inform her +that I must part with her. D'ye understand your lesson? + +_Trudge._ Pa--part with Ma--madam Ya-ri-co! + +_Inkle._ Why does the blockhead stammer!--I have my reasons. No +muttering--And let me tell you, sir, if your rare bargain were gone +too, 'twould be the better: she may babble our story of the forest, and +spoil my fortune. + +_Trudge._ I'm sorry for it, sir; I have lived with you along while; +I've half a year's wages too, due the 25th ult. for dressing your hair, +and scribbling your parchments; but take my scribbling; take my +frizzing; take my wages; and I, and Wows, will take ourselves off +together--she saved my life, and rot me, if any thing but death shall +part us. + +_Inkle._ Impertinent! Go, and deliver your message. + +_Trudge._ I'm gone, sir. Lord, Lord! I never carried a letter with such +ill will in all my born days. + + [_Exit._ + +_Sir Chr._ Well--shall I see the girl? + +_Inkle._ She'll be here presently. One thing I had forgot: when she is +yours, I need not caution you, after the hints I've given, to keep her +from the Castle. If Sir Christopher should see her, 'twould lead, you +know, to a discovery of what I wish concealed. + +_Sir Chr._ Depend upon _me_--Sir Christopher will know no more of our +meeting, than he does at this moment. + +_Inkle._ Your secrecy shall not be unrewarded; I'll recommend you, +particularly, to his good graces. + +_Sir Chr._ Thank ye, thank ye; but I'm pretty much in his good graces, +as it is; I don't know anybody he has a greater respect for.---- + +_Re-enter TRUDGE._ + +_Inkle._ Now, sir, have you performed your message? + +_Trudge._ Yes, I gave her the letter. + +_Inkle._ And where is Yarico? did she say she'd come? didn't you do as +you were ordered? didn't you speak to her? + +_Trudge._ I cou'dn't, sir, I cou'dn't--I intended to say what you bid +me--but I felt such a pain in my throat, I cou'dn't speak a word, for +the soul of me; and so, sir, I fell a crying. + +_Inkle._ Blockhead! + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sblood, but he's a very honest blockhead. Tell me, my good +fellow--what said the wench? + +_Trudge._ Nothing at all, sir. She sat down with her two hands clasped +on her knees, and looked so pitifully in my face, I could not stand it. +Oh, here she comes. I'll go and find Wows: if I must be melancholy, she +shall keep me company. + + [_Exit._ + +_Sir Chr._ Ods my life, as comely a wench as ever I saw! + +_Enter YARICO, who looks for some time in INKLE's face, bursts into +tears, and falls on his neck._ + +_Inkle._ In tears! nay, Yarico! why this? + +_Yar._ Oh do not--do not leave me! + +_Inkle._ Why, simple girl! I'm labouring for your good. My interest, +here, is nothing: I can do nothing from myself, you are ignorant of our +country's customs. I must give way to men more powerful, who will not +have me with you. But see, my Yarico, ever anxious for your welfare, +I've found a kind, good person who will protect you. + +_Yar._ Ah! why not you protect me! + +_Inkle._ I have no means--how can I? + +_Yarico._ Just as I sheltered you. Take me to yonder mountain, where I +see no smoke from tall, high houses, filled with your cruel countrymen. +None of your princes, there, will come to take me from you. And should +they stray that way, we'll find a lurking place, just like my own poor +cave; where many a day I sat beside you, and blessed the chance that +brought you to it--that I might save your life. + +_Sir Chr._ His life! Zounds! my blood boils at the scoundrel's +ingratitude! + +_Yar._ Come, come, let's go. I always feared these cities. Let's fly +and seek the woods; and there we'll wander hand in hand together. No +cares shall vex us then--We'll let the day glide by in idleness; and +you shall sit in the shade, and watch the sun-beam playing on the +brook, while I sing the song that pleases you. No cares, love, but for +food--and we'll live cheerily I warrant--In the fresh, early morning, +you shall hunt down our game, and I will pick you berries--and then, at +night I'll trim our bed of leaves, and lie me down in peace--Oh! we +shall be so happy!---- + +_Inkle._ Hear me, Yarico. My countrymen and yours differ as much +in minds as in complexions. We were not born to live in woods and +caves----to seek subsistence by pursuing beasts----We christians, +girl, hunt money; a thing unknown to you--But, here, 'tis money which +brings us ease, plenty, command, power, every thing; and, of course, +happiness. You are the bar to my attaining this; therefore 'tis +necessary for my good----and which, I think, you value---- + +_Yar._ You know I do; so much, that it would break my heart to leave +you. + +_Inkle._ But we must part; if you are seen with me, I shall lose all. + +_Yar._ I gave up all for you--my friends--my country: all that was dear +to me: and still grown dearer since you sheltered there.--All, all, was +left for you--and were it now to do again--again I'd cross the seas, and +follow you, all the world over. + +_Inkle._ We idle time; sir, she is yours. See you obey this gentleman; +'twill be the better for you. [_Going._] + +_Yar._ O barbarous! [_Holding him._] Do not, do not abandon me! + +_Inkle._ No more. + +_Yar._ Stay but a little. I shan't live long to be a burden to you: +your cruelty has cut me to the heart. Protect me but a little--or I'll +obey this man, and undergo all hardships for your good; stay but to +witness 'em.--I soon shall sink with grief; tarry till then, and hear +me bless your name when I am dying; and beg you now and then, when I am +gone, to heave a sigh for your poor Yarico. + +_Inkle._ I dare not listen. You, sir, I hope, will take good care of +her. [_Going._] + +_Sir Chr._ Care of her!--that I will--I'll cherish her like my own +daughter; and pour balm into the heart of a poor, innocent girl, that +has been wounded by the artifices of a scoundrel. + +_Inkle._ Hah! 'Sdeath, sir, how dare you!-- + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sdeath, sir, how dare you look an honest man in the face? + +_Inkle._ Sir, you shall feel-- + +_Sir Chr._ Feel!--It's more than ever you did, I believe. Mean, sordid +wretch! dead to all sense of honour, gratitude, or humanity--I never +heard of such barbarity! I have a son-in-law, who has been left in +the same situation; but, if I thought him capable of such cruelty, +dam'me if I would not turn him to sea, with a peck-loaf, in a cockle +shell--Come, come, cheer up, my girl! You shan't want a friend to +protect you, I warrant you.--[_Taking YARICO by the hand._] + +_Inkle._ Insolence! The Governor shall hear of this insult. + +_Sir Chr._ The Governor! liar! cheat! rogue! impostor! breaking all +ties you ought to keep, and pretending to those you have no right to. +The Governor never had such a fellow in the whole catalogue of his +acquaintance--the Governor disowns you--the Governor disclaims you--the +Governor abhors you; and to your utter confusion, here stands the +Governor to tell you so. Here stands old Curry, who never talked to a +rogue without telling him what he thought of him. + +_Inkle._ Sir Christopher!--Lost and undone! + +_Med._ [_Without._] Holo! Young Multiplication! Zounds! I have been +peeping in every cranny of the house. Why, young Rule of Three! +[_Enters from the inn._] Oh, here you are at last--Ah, Sir Christopher! +What are you there! too impatient to wait at home. But here's one that +will make you easy, I fancy. [_Clapping INKLE on the shoulder._] + +_Sir Chr._ How came you to know him? + +_Med._ Ha! ha! Well, that's curious enough too. So you have been +talking here, without finding out each other. + +_Sir Chr._ No, no; I have found him out with a vengeance. + +_Med._ Not you. Why this is the dear boy. It's my nephew; that is, your +son-in-law, that is to be. It's Inkle! + +_Sir Chr._ It's a lie; and you're a purblind old booby,--and this dear +boy is a damn'd scoundrel. + +_Med._ Hey-day! what's the meaning of this? One was mad before, and he +has bit the other, I suppose. + +_Sir Chr._ But here comes the dear boy--the true boy--the jolly boy, +piping hot from church, with my daughter. + +_Enter CAMPLEY, NARCISSA, and PATTY._ + +_Med._ Campley! + +_Sir Chr._ Who? Campley?--It's no such thing. + +_Camp._ That's my name, indeed, Sir Christopher. + +_Sir Chr._ The devil it is! And how came you, sir, to impose upon me, +and assume the name of Inkle? A name which every man of honesty ought +to be ashamed of. + +_Camp._ I never did, sir.--Since I sailed from England with your +daughter, my affection has daily increased: and when I came to explain +myself to you, by a number of concurring circumstances, which I am now +partly acquainted with, you mistook me for that gentleman. Yet had I +even then been aware of your mistake, I must confess, the regard for my +own happiness would have tempted me to let you remain undeceived. + +_Sir Chr._ And did you, Narcissa, join in-- + +_Nar._ How could I, my dear sir, disobey you? + +_Patty._ Lord your honour, what young lady could refuse a captain? + +_Camp._ I am a soldier, Sir Christopher. Love and war is the soldier's +motto; though my income is trifling to your _intended_ son-in-law's, +still the chance of war has enabled me to support the object of my love +above indigence. Her fortune, Sir Christopher, I do not consider myself +by any means entitled to. + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sblood! but you must though. Give me your hand, my young +Mars, and bless you both together!--Thank you, thank you for cheating +an old fellow into giving his daughter to a lad of spirit, when he was +going to throw her away upon one, in whose breast the mean passion of +avarice smothers the smallest spark of affection or humanity. + +_Nar._ I have this moment heard a story of a transaction in the forest, +which I own would have rendered compliance with your former commands +very disagreeable. + +_Patty._ Yes, sir, I told my mistress he had brought over a Hottypot +gentlewoman. + +_Sir Chr._ Yes, but he would have left her for you; [_To Narcissa._] +and you for his interest; and sold you, perhaps, as he has this poor +girl to me, as a requital for preserving his life. + +_Nar._ How! + +_Enter TRUDGE and WOWSKI._ + +_Trudge._ Come along, Wows! take a long last leave of your poor mistress: +throw your pretty, ebony arms about her neck. + +_Wows._ No, no;--she not go; you not leave poor Wowski. [_Throwing her +arms about YARICO._] + +_Sir Chr._ Poor girl! A companion, I take it! + +_Trudge._ A thing of my own, sir. I cou'dn't help following my master's +example in the woods----_Like master, like man_, sir. + +_Sir Chr._ But you would not sell her, and be hang'd to you, you dog, +would you? + +_Trudge._ Hang me, like a dog, if I would, sir. + +_Sir Chr._ So say I to every fellow that breaks an obligation due to +the feelings of a man. But, old Medium, what have you to say for your +hopeful nephew? + +_Med._ I never speak ill of my friends, Sir Christopher. + +_Sir Chr._ Pshaw! + +_Inkle._ Then let me speak: hear me defend a conduct---- + +_Sir Chr._ Defend! Zounds! plead guilty at once--it's the only hope +left of obtaining mercy. + +_Inkle._ Suppose, old gentleman, you had a son? + +_Sir Chr._ 'Sblood! then I'd make him an honest fellow; and teach him, +that the feeling heart never knows greater pride than when it's employed +in giving succour to the unfortunate. I'd teach him to be his father's +own son to a hair. + +_Inkle._ Even so my father tutored me: from my infancy, bending my +tender mind, like a young sapling, to his will--Interest was the grand +prop round which he twined my pliant green affections: taught me in +childhood to repeat old sayings--all tending to his own fixed principles, +and the first sentence that I ever lisped, was--_Charity begins at home._ + +_Sir Chr._ I shall never like a proverb again, as long as I live. + +_Inkle._ As I grew up, he'd prove--and by example--were I in want, I +might e'en starve, for what the world cared for their neighbours; why +then should I care for the world? Men now lived for themselves. These +were his doctrines: then, sir, what would you say, should I, in spite +of habit, precept, education, fly in my father's face, and spurn his +councils? + +_Sir Chr._ Say! why, that you were a damn'd honest, undutiful fellow. O +curse such principles! Principles, which destroy all confidence between +man and man--Principles which none but a rogue could instil, and none +but a rogue could imbibe.--Principles---- + +_Inkle._ Which I renounce. + +_Sir Chr._ Eh! + +_Inkle._ Renounce entirely. Ill-founded precept too long has steeled +my breast--but still 'tis vulnerable--this trial was too much--Nature, +'gainst habit combating within me, has penetrated to my heart; a heart, +I own, long callous to the feelings of sensibility; but now it bleeds--and +bleeds for my poor Yarico. Oh, let me clasp her to it, while 'tis glowing, +and mingle tears of love and penitence. [_Embracing her._] + +_Trudge._ [_Capering about._] Wows, give me a kiss! [_WOWSKI goes to +TRUDGE._] + +_Yar._ And shall we--shall we be happy? + +_Inkle._ Aye; ever, ever, Yarico. + +_Yar._ I knew we should--and yet I feared--but shall I still watch over +you? Oh! love, you surely gave your Yarico such pain, only to make her +feel this happiness the greater. + +_Wows._ [_Going to YARICO._] Oh Wowski so happy!--and yet I think I not +glad neither. + +_Trudge._ Eh, Wows! How!--why not! + +_Wows._ 'Cause I can't help cry---- + +_Sir Chr._ Then, if that's the case--curse me, if I think I'm very glad +either. What the plague's the matter with my eyes?--Young man, your +hand--I am now proud and happy to shake it. + +_Med._ Well, Sir Christopher, what do you say to my hopeful nephew now? + +_Sir Chr._ Say! Why, confound the fellow, I say, that is ungenerous +enough to remember the bad action of a man who has virtue left in his +heart to repent it--As for you, my good fellow, [_To TRUDGE._] I must, +with your master's permission, employ you myself. + +_Trudge._ O rare!--Bless your honour!--Wows! you'll be lady, you jade, +to a governor's factotum. + +_Wows._ Iss--I Lady Jactotum. + +_Sir Chr._ And now, my young folks, we'll drive home, and celebrate the +wedding. Od's my life! I long to be shaking a foot at the fiddles, and +I shall dance ten times the lighter, for reforming an Inkle, while I +have it in my power to reward the innocence of a Yarico. + + +FINALE. + +[La Belle Catharine.] + +CAMPLEY. + + _Come, let us dance and sing,_ + _While all Barbadoes bells shall ring:_ + _Love scrapes the fiddle string,_ + _And Venus plays the lute;_ + _Hymen gay, foots away,_ + _Happy at our wedding-day,_ + _Cocks his chin, and figures in,_ + _To tabor, fife, and flute._ + +CHORUS. + + _Come then dance and sing,_ + _While all Barbadoes bells shall ring, &c._ + +NARCISSA. + + _Since thus each anxious care_ + _Is vanished into empty air,_ + _Ah! how can I forbear_ + _To join the jocund dance?_ + _To and fro, couples go,_ + _On the light fantastic toe,_ + _White with glee, merrily,_ + _The rosy hours advance._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +YARICO. + + _When first the swelling sea_ + _Hither bore my love and me,_ + _What then my fate would be,_ + _Little did I think----_ + _Doomed to know care and woe,_ + _Happy still is Yarico;_ + _Since her love will constant prove,_ + _And nobly scorns to shrink._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +WOWSKI. + + _Whilst all around, rejoice,_ + _Pipe and tabor raise the voice,_ + _It can't be Wowski's choice,_ + _Whilst Trudge's to be dumb._ + _No, no, dey blithe and gay,_ + _Shall like massy, missy play._ + _Dance and sing, hey ding, ding,_ + _Strike fiddle and beat drum._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +TRUDGE. + + _'Sbobs! now, I'm fix'd for life,_ + _My fortune's fair, tho' black's my wife,_ + _Who fears domestic strife--_ + _Who cares now a souse!_ + _Merry cheer my dingy dear_ + _Shall find with her Factotum heve;_ + _Night and day, I'll frisk and play_ + _About the house with Wows._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +INKLE. + + _Love's convert here behold,_ + _Banish'd now my thirst of gold,_ + _Bless'd in these arms to fold_ + _My gentle Yarico._ + _Hence all care, doubt, and fear,_ + _Love and joy each want shall cheer,_ + _Happy night, pure delight,_ + _Shall make our bosoms glow._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + +PATTY. + + _Let Patty say a word----_ + _A chambermaid may sure be heard----_ + _Sure men are grown absurd,_ + _Thus taking black for white;_ + _To hug and kiss a dingy miss,_ + _Will hardly suit an age like this,_ + _Unless, here, some friends appear,_ + _Who like this wedding night._ + Chorus. _Come then, &c._ + + +THE END. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Inkle and Yarico, by George Colman + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INKLE AND YARICO *** + +***** This file should be named 36621.txt or 36621.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/6/2/36621/ + +Produced by Steven desJardins, David Garcia and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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