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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/36158.txt b/36158.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a6c32f5 --- /dev/null +++ b/36158.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11734 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Daisy Burns (Volume 2), by Julia Kavanagh + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Daisy Burns (Volume 2) + + +Author: Julia Kavanagh + + + +Release Date: May 18, 2011 [eBook #36158] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DAISY BURNS (VOLUME 2)*** + + +Julia Kavanagh (1824-1877), Daisy Burns (1853), volume 2, Tauchnitz +edition + + +Produced by Daniel FROMONT + + + +COLLECTION + + + +OF + + + +BRITISH AUTHORS. + + + +VOL. CCLXIV. + + + +DAISY BURNS BY JULIA KAVANAGH. + + + +IN TWO VOLUMES. + + + +VOL. II. + + + + + +TAUCHNITZ EDITION + + + + + +By the same Author, + + + + + +NATHALIE 2 vols. + + +GRACE LEE 2 vols. + + +RACHEL GRAY 1 vol. + + +ADELE 2 vols. + + +A SUMMER AND WINTER IN THE TOW SICILES 2 vols. + + +SEVEN YEARS AND OTHER TALES 2 vols. + + +FRENCH WOMEN OF LETTERS 1 vol. + + +ENGLISH WOMEN OF LETTERS 1 vol. + + +QUEEN MAB 2 vols. + + +BEATRICE 2 vols. + + +SYBIL'S SECOND LOVE + + +DORA 2 vols. + + +SILVIA 2 vols. + + +BESSIE 2 vols. + + +JOHN DORRIEN 2 vols. + + + + +DAISY BURNS; + + + +A TALE + + + + + +BY + + + + +JULIA KAVANAGH, + + + +AUTHOR OF "NATHALIE." + + + + + + +_COPYRIGHT EDITION_. + + + +IN TWO VOLUMES. + + + +VOL. II. + + + + +LEIPZIG + + +BERNHARDT TAUCHNITZ + + +1853. + + + + + +JULIA KAVANAGH + + + +DAISY BURNS. + + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +It has chanced that for a week or more this narrative has been laid +aside. This evening I thought I would resume it, and, before doing so, I +looked back on what I had written. + +Alas, how long it takes us to forget the angry and evil feelings of our +childhood! How I traced, in this record of the past, a lingering +animosity against the enemy of my youth, which years, it seems, had +failed to efface from my heart! How sad and humbling a lesson has this +been to me, of passion warping judgment and holy charity forgotten! + +I have represented Miriam without one redeeming trait, and conscience +tells me that she was not thus. I now remember many touches of human +feeling and human kindness, which, I feel it remorsefully, need not have +been omitted, when all that was evil was so faithfully registered. + +She had many high qualities. In worldly affairs she was generous and +disinterested. Her word was inviolable; she gave it rarely, and never +broke it. She was devoted to her blind old nurse, and patient with her +infirm aunt. Her temper was calm and enduring; she had in her something +of the spirit which makes martyrs, and could have borne persecution with +unshaken fortitude. She never spoke of religion, and I doubt if she had +any religious feeling; but she was charitable to the poor; she had +sympathy for their misery and compassion too for bodily suffering: I +remember that once, when I cut my hand rather severely, she showed a +concern which even I felt to be sincere. Had I been wholly in her power, +and provoked her to the utmost, I knew she would neither have ill-used me +herself, nor allowed me to be neglected by others. Her hatred was +pitiless; yet in one sense it was not mean, for it disdained to inflict +useless pangs. She had an object in tormenting me, but to do so gave her +no pleasure. I know that had I not been so tenacious of the affection of +Cornelius, so obstinate and proud, she would never have sought my ruin; +but she was not one to brook the rivalry or opposition even of a child; I +chose to place myself in her path, and she treated me as an obstacle to +be removed, or, if that failed, to be conquered, and, if needful, +crushed. + +She was one of those outwardly calm persons whose real nature can never +be known, unless when drawn forth by something or some one. I do not +think that one action to be concealed had marked her life until we met. +We were antagonistic principles, and, from our conflict, the worst points +of each were displayed. But for her Cornelius would never have suspected +my jealous nature; but for that jealousy he would never have known the +real character of his betrothed. Even Kate, though she had never liked +her, was, as I afterwards learned, taken by surprise, and declared, +"Cornelius had had a most fortunate escape from marrying such a cruel, +treacherous woman." Was Miriam such? I do not think so. True, she had +little principle, and was not stopped by falsehood when she held it +necessary: but she was never cruel, never treacherous without a purpose. +She might have been good but for one mistaken idea--that good and evil +are indifferent in themselves; and great but for one sin--self-idolatry. + +She lacked that centre of all hearts--God. He who made us, made us so +that in Him alone we shall find peace. We may make idols of honour, duty, +love, art; of human ideas and human beings; but even this is not to fall +utterly. The sense of honour and duty are His gifts; He gave us hearts to +love with, souls to know the beautiful, minds to conceive, feelings to +spend and bestow. So long therefore as its action is outward, even our +grossest idolatry will be pervaded with the sanctity of adoration and the +majesty of God. But self-worship is the sin of Satan: we were never meant +to be our own centre, our own hope, our own aim and divinity; there never +has been a drearier prison than that which can be to itself a human +heart; the other circles of hell are broad and free, compared to this +narrowest of dungeons--self locked in self. + +It was this that, whilst outwardly she seemed so calm and cool, made +Miriam internally so restless and unquiet. There was a healthy serenity +in the ardour of Cornelius; but hers was agitated like an ever-troubled +sea. She sought not in love its divine oblivion of self, but, on the +contrary, a consciousness of existence, rendered more intense by the very +tumult of passion. + +To love, for her, was not to be merged in some other being, but to absorb +that other being in herself. All I know of her first lover was, that he +was a captain in the navy, and that he perished with his ship four or +five years before she met Cornelius. Her affection may have been +outwardly devoted, but must have been selfish at heart. To have lovud +again would have been no crime; but to wish to do so showed that the man +had been nothing in comparison with the feeling. + +Even thus with her sister. Whilst she existed, Miriam seemed wrapped in +her; once the young girl was in her grave, her name was never mentioned; +everything that could recall her was studiously set aside as too painful; +a new object, a new passion were eagerly grasped at; she had been, and +she was no more. To those who love truly, there may be separation, but +there is no death: their heart, like a hospitable lord, keeps sacred for +ever the place of the guests he has once received and cherished. With +Miriam it was not thus. Once the being in whom she had delighted could no +longer minister to her delight, it ceased to occupy her. I never saw her +after her parting from Cornelius, yet I can scarcely think that he, to +win whose exclusive affection she had done so much, gave her one sad +thought; she had not loved, but he had, and to him she left all the +sorrow. + +How did he bear it? This was a question neither his sister nor I could +have answered. He had gone out on the night of the discovery, sent forth +by that impulse which in great grief urges us to seek spots no eye can +haunt, and the calm silence, so soothing to the troubled senses and +wounded heart, of our mother nature. He came in the next morning, looking +worn and weary, like one who had wandered far, vainly seeking peace. His +sister looked at him sadly, and said, in her gentlest tones-- + +"It is hard. Cornelius." + +He looked up in her face and replied calmly, "It is, Kate; but there is +no sorrow that cannot be crushed and conquered." + +Pride, stung at having been so deceived, made him shun sympathy, and +forbade him to complain. He struggled against his bitter grief in manful +spirit. He quietly called me up one morning to the studio, there to +resume the sittings for the Stolen Child; in the course of the same week +he procured two Gipsy sitters, and gave to work his whole mind, heart, +and energies. Yet there were moments when his hand flagged, when his look +became drearily vacant, when it was plain that not even all the might of +will could compel attention any longer. There were other signs too which +I heeded. + +A mile down the lane rose a homely little house of God, consecrated to +the worship of that faith which, like their country, was only the more +dear to Cornelius and Kate for the insults daily heaped upon it. There, +Sunday after Sunday, with a brief interruption, I had for three years sat +and knelt by the side of Cornelius, and taken a childish pleasure in +reading from the same book. But now--and I was quick to notice it--though +his hand still held the volume, his eyes no longer perused the page with +mine; in his abstracted face I read a worship far more intense, inward, +and sorrowful than the quiet attention of old times. Once, as we walked +home together, he asked me what the sermon had been about. + +But nothing endures in this world. The grief of Cornelius was not of a +nature to be brooded over for ever: we never knew exactly when he +recovered his inward serenity, but that he recovered it, an event which +occurred in the course of the winter proved beyond doubt. + +One afternoon, when both Kate and her brother were out, Mr. Smalley +called. He had obtained a living somewhere in the North, and was come to +bid us adieu. He expressed much regret that his friend and Miss O'Reilly +should not be at home, and inquired after them with his usual benignant +gentleness. + +"They are both quite well; and are you too quite well, Mr. Smalley?" I +asked, for as he sat before me, his slender frame slightly bent, I could +not but be struck with the pallor and thinness of his face. + +"I am very well indeed," he replied with a smile, "and in a very happy-- +though not, I hope, too elated--frame of mind, which is natural enough +considering my recent good fortune. Rugby--have you ever heard of Rugby, +my dear?" + +"No, Sir, I don't think I have." + +"Well, it is rather odd, but really nobody seems to hare heard of Rugby, +and Trim will have it that it is an imaginary place altogether; but I +tell him this is a point on which I must differ from him, as I have +actually seen Rugby Well, Rugby, as I was saying, is an extremely +picturesque village, almost too picturesque, rising on the brow of a +steep hill, with an old church and very quaint parsonage; then there's a +splendid torrent, that inundates the place twice a year, but the people +are used to it and don't mind it, so it makes no difference, you know." + +"But is it not rather unpleasant, Sir?" + +"Well, perhaps it is," quietly replied Morton Smalley; then added with a +sigh, "but life has greater trials; every one has his or her trial, my +dear." + +"Yes," I answered, "Miss O'Reilly can't let her house; it is such a pity, +is it not?" + +"Have her tenants left?" asked Mr. Smalley, a little troubled. + +"Miss Russell has given notice; the bill is up, did you not see it?" + +"I did not look," he replied in a low tone; then he again said-- + +"Has Miss Russell left?" + +"Her furniture is still there; but she is always at Hastings." + +There was a pause; but Mr. Smalley made an effort and asked-- + +"Is her niece with her?" + +"I don't know, Sir." + +"Don't you?" + +"Oh no! we don't know anything more about Miss Miriam, since she is not +to marry Cornelius." + +Mr. Smalley turned pale and red, and pale again; but he never put a +question to me. He constrained himself to talk of the weather, of what a +fine day it was (the rain was drizzling), of how happy it made him to +hear Cornelius was so successful (we had never said a word about his +success); then he left off at once, rose and bade me good-bye, to my +infinite relief, for I was conscious of having committed an indiscretion, +and not the first either. + +Within the course of the same month, as we sat at breakfast, Kate, who +was reading the newspaper, suddenly uttered an exclamation which she as +hastily checked. Cornelius took the paper from her hand, glanced over it, +and read aloud very calmly-- + +"On the twelfth instant, at St. George's, Hanover Square, the Rev. Morton +Smalley, of Rugby, to Miriam Russell, eldest daughter of the late Thomas +Russell, Esq., of Southwell, Norfolk." + +"Smalley deserved a better wife," said Cornelius; and he handed back the +paper to Kate, without betraying the least sign of emotion. It was thus +we learned how utterly dead Miriam was in his heart. + +What sort of a wife did she make to Morton Smalley, in his wild northern +home? I know not, no more than I know what, unless the thirst of +agitation and change, could induce a spirit so feverish and unquiet to +unite itself to that pure and calm nature. Did she find peace in his +devoted love, and in fulfilling the duties that fall to the lot of a +clergyman's wife? Perhaps she did, and perhaps too he drew forth whatever +her nature held of good and true. A year after her marriage she died in +giving birth to a child, who still lives, and whom her father persists in +calling the image of his dear departed saint, though his eyes alone can +trace in her the faintest resemblance to her dead mother. + +I was not with Cornelius when this event occurred, and how he felt on +learning the death of the woman with whom he had thought to spend his +life, is more than I have ever known. + +Cornelius had, as I said, recovered his serenity, but he was not what he +once had been. A boyish lightness of temper had deserted him--his early +faith was shaken, and he looked on life a sadder and a wiser man. To his +sister he was the same as before; to me far kinder. He loved me all the +more for having been to him the cause of so much trouble: a less generous +mind and heart could not have forgiven me the mistakes into which I had +made him fall, and the disadvantageous position in which I had placed +him; both rendered me more dear to Cornelius. The only allusion he made +to the past, was to say to me one wintry evening, as, the lessons over, +we sat together by the fire-side-- + +"I think you are happy now, Daisy." + +"Yes, Cornelius," I replied, a little moved, "very happy." + +"That's right," he said, and rose. + +"You are going out," observed Kate, anxiously. + +"Yes; shall be in at nine." + +"Come back by the Grove." + +"Why so?" + +"The lanes are not safe." + +He laughed, said there was no fear, and left us. I saw him go with a +sinking heart. The road by which he meant to return was lonely and had +witnessed several recent cases of highway robbery. The evening passed +quietly; but nine struck and Cornelius came not back. I gave Kate a +terrified look. + +"Nonsense!" she said indignantly, "how dare you think of such a thing? Go +to bed directly." + +In vain I begged hard to be allowed to sit up until his return; she said +she would have no more such looks, and again bade me go to bed. I felt +too wretched to scruple at disobeying her. I left the parlour indeed, but +instead of going up-stairs to my room, I softly stole out of the house, +crossed the garden, and unlocking the back-door I left it ajar, and +stepped out to look in the direction along which Cornelius was to come. +The night was dark; a keen wind swept down the lonely lane; I drew the +skirt of my frock over my head and crouched within the shelter of the +neighbouring hedge. There, with my ear bent to catch every sound, I +remained for what seemed an age. Once my heart leaped as I heard a +distant tread, and fell again when it drew nearer, and I was conscious of +a stranger, who, unaware of my presence, passed by me whistling +carelessly. + +Dismal visions of Cornelius lying bleeding and inanimate in some dreary +spot, haunted me until I felt nearly wild with terror and grief; but at +once a sudden joy pervaded my being; I heard his quick, light step coming +up the lane--I was sure it was he; he was safe--the dark vision fled like +an evil spirit put to flight by a good angel. I could have laughed for +gladness, I felt so happy. Joy however did not make me forget my +disobedience and its probable consequences; I thought to slip in and go +up to my room unperceived, but to my dismay I found that the door had +closed on me--I was shut out. There was no remedy for it; so I waited +until Cornelius came up and rang, then I made a slight noise in the +hedge. + +"What's that?" he asked sharply. + +"Don't be afraid, Cornelius," I replied in a low voice, "it is only me." + +"Daisy! What brings you here, child?" + +"I felt so miserable at your not returning that I came out here to watch +for you. The door shut, so I could not get in when I heard you--don't let +Kate scold me, Cornelius." + +Before he could reply, the door was opened by Kate herself, a proof that +she was not without secret uneasiness. In her haste she had brought no +light. + +"Is that you?" she said quickly. + +"Of course it is, Kate." + +"Thank God! I was so uneasy; and there's that foolish Midge, whom I sent +to bed an hour ago, and who, I am sure, is still lying awake, listening, +poor child! I felt angry with her for being so nervous, and I am as bad +myself." + +She closed the door as she spoke. I had slipped in unperceived, and I +might have escaped detection, for Cornelius did not seem inclined to +betray me, when, as we were going up the steps leading to the porch, +Deborah suddenly appeared bringing a light; she stared at me as I slunk +behind Cornelius; Kate turned round, saw me, and uttered an exclamation +of astonishment. + +"It is very wrong of her," hastily said Cornelius, "but you must forgive +her, Kate. I found her outside the door waiting for me. I suppose she had +worked herself into a terror of my being waylaid and assassinated, and +scarcely knew what she was about." + +"Ah!" replied Kate, and she said no more. + +We entered the parlour. Cornelius sat down, made me sit down by him, and +chafed my cold hands in his. He chid me rather severely, forbade me ever +to do such a thing again, said he was very angry, and ended by taking me +in his arms and kissing me. Kate had never uttered one word of reproof, +but she looked unusually grave. As I sat by her brother, indulged and +caressed, spite of my foolish disobedience, I had an unpleasant +consciousness of her look being fastened on us both, and shunned it by +keeping mine pertinaciously fixed on the kind face which, as if to efface +all memory of the past, now seemed unable to look down at me with anger +or displeasure. + +"Cornelius!" at length said Kate. + +"Well!" he replied, looking from me to her. + +"Do you remember the story of Goethe's Mignon?" + +Cornelius reddened, turned pale, reddened again, and looked both +irritated and ashamed. + +"What about it, Kate?" he asked at length. + +"Nothing." she quietly replied, "only I think of it now and then." + +Cornelius did not reply; but he slowly turned towards me, and as I sat by +his side, my two hands clasped on his shoulder and my head resting on +them, I saw him give me a look so troubled and so strange, that I could +not help asking-- + +"What is it, Cornelius?" + +"Nothing," he replied hastily, "but don't you think you had better go to +bed?" + +"Well then, good-night, Cornelius;" I attempted to bend his face to mine; +he looked annoyed, and averted it impatiently. + +"I knew you were vexed with me for having waited for you outside," I +observed, feeling ready to cry; "I am sure of it now; that is why you +won't kiss me." + +Cornelius bit his lip, and, giving my forehead an impatient kiss, said, +shortly-- + +"There, child, are you satisfied?" + +"Well, but am I not to kiss you?" I asked in the same tearful tone. + +"Please yourself," he replied, resignedly allowing me to embrace him. + +"I am sure you are still vexed with me," I said, lingering over the +caress as children will, "you speak so sharply, and look so cross." He +smiled; his brow smoothed; he looked from me to his sister. + +"Oh! Kate," he said, "she is such a mere child," and with a sudden return +of kindness he again made me sit down by him. + +"Indeed, I am not such a child!" I said, rather piqued, "and you need not +make me out such a little girl either, Cornelius, for you are only ten +years older than I am." + +"Only ten years! Why, my dear, the Roman Lustrum consisted of five years, +and the Greek Olympiad of four. So that, if I were a grave Roman, I +should twice have offered solemn sacrifices to the Gods, or if I were a +sprightly young Greek I should twice, and a little bit over, have +distinguished myself in the Olympic Games by chariot-driving, racing, +leaping, throwing, wrestling, boxing, and other gentlemanly pastimes,-- +and all this, Midge, whilst you were still in your cradle! Why, you are a +mere baby to me." + +"Papa was ten years older than Mamma," I persisted: "was she a mere baby +to him?" + +"My dear, she was grown up." + +"Well then, when I am grown up I shall not be a mere baby to you!" I +replied triumphantly. + +"You obstinate little thing!" observed Kate, who had listened with +evident impatience; "don't you see this is a very different matter? you +are as good as the adopted child of Cornelius." + +"Precisely," he hastened to observe, "and as I mean to be very paternal, +I expressly desire you to be very filial." + +"You want to make quite a little girl of me!" I said ruefully. + +"Did your father do so?" + +"Well, but he was my real father, and you are not, and could not be." + +Kate declared there never had been such an obstinate child in all +Ireland. Cornelius looked very grave, and said, as I did not value the +privilege of being his adopted daughter, he should not press the point. I +protested so warmly against this reproach, that he at length looked +convinced, said it was all right, and again bade me good-night. I +demurred, he insisted. + +"Ah!" I said reproachfully, "you are not as fond of me as Papa was?" + +"Why so, child?" + +"If I had asked him to stay up awhile, he would not have said 'No:' he +would have said, 'Yes, Margaret, my dear, it is only ten; you may stay up +another quarter of an hour.'" + +"Well then, stay," replied Cornelius, unable to repress a smile, "but you +will make a nice exacting daughter." + +"A spoiled one," said Kate. + +"Let her," he replied; then laying his hand on my head, he kindly added, +"Kate, this child is the only boast and good deed of my life. She makes +me feel venerable and paternal, and, like a good Papa, I'll work hard to +give her a marriage portion some day." + +"I don't want to marry," I observed pettishly; "I don't want to leave +you, Cornelius." + +"Nonsense!" drily said Kate, "you'd do like your Mamma, run away, if one +attempted to keep you." + +I denied it indignantly; she insisted. I was beginning to utter a most +vehement protest against the mere idea of ever forsaking Cornelius, when +he interfered, and informed me that his paternal pride and feelings would +be wounded to the quick at the idea of my remaining an old maid. He +appealed to my sense of filial duty; I generously sacrificed myself, but +not without making some preliminary conditions. + +"He must be an Irishman," I said. + +"Ah!" observed Cornelius, stroking his chin, "he must be an Irishman!" + +"Yes, and an artist." + +Cornelius looked uncomfortable, but he merely echoed-- + +"An artist!" + +"Yes, and his name must be Cornelius." + +Cornelius looked disconcerted. + +"Nonsense!" sharply said Kate, "what are you talking of? an Irishman--an +artist--name Cornelius? nonsense!" + +"Then I won't have him at all," I replied, rather provoked: "I did not +want him, Kate, and you know it too. I want to stay with Cornelius." + +"Mrs. O'Reilly may have a word or two to say to that," very quietly +observed Kate. + +I felt Cornelius start like one who receives the sting of a sudden pain, +but he did not contradict his sister. Mrs. O'Reilly! the mere name was +hateful to me. I did not reply; Kate continued-- + +"You look quite charmed at the idea of your Papa marrying." + +"No girl ever liked a stepmother yet," I answered, reddening. + +"Then you will be an exception, I am sure," very gravely said Cornelius. + +I was not at all sure of that; but I did not dare to say so. He saw very +well that I was anything but cured of my old jealousy; and though I +believe nothing was then further from his thoughts than marriage, he +insisted on this point, to warn me, I suppose, of the necessity of self- +subjection. + +"You must be the governess of the children," he said. + +"Yes, of course she must," decisively said Kate. + +I turned on her triumphantly: + +"Then don't you see," I said, "that if I am the governess I shall always +stay with him?" + +Cornelius looked both annoyed and amused. + +"There is a wonderful degree of obstinacy in that child," he observed; +"she always comes back to her idea of staying with me." + +"Because there is nothing she likes half so well," I said, looking up +into his face. + +"Ah! Mignon! Mignon!" sighed Kate. + +"Who is Mignon?" I asked, struck with the name which I heard for the +second time. + +"It is more than a quarter past ten," was the reply Miss O'Reilly gave +me. + +I looked at Cornelius, but he showed no wish to detain me; so I submitted +and left them. + +From that day there was a very marked change in his manner towards me. He +was as kind, but by no means so familiar, as he once had been. He was +always calling me his little daughter, yet I no sooner availed myself of +this imaginary relationship to claim more freedom and tenderness, than he +seemed bent on repelling me by the most pertinacious coldness. He +received my caresses with chilling indifference, often with an annoyance +he could not conceal; he seldom returned them, and when he did so, it was +not with the friendliness and warmth to which he had accustomed me for +years. When I felt this, and became dispirited and unhappy, Cornelius +looked distressed, and, in his anxiety to restore me to cheerfulness, +returned to his free and kind manner, in which he persevered until some +remark of his sister, or some action of mine too fond and endearing, +again rendered him cool and guarded. + +I could not imagine then the reason of all this. I could not imagine why, +when I showed Cornelius how much I loved him, he looked so wretched; I +could not understand why, when Kate once said to him, in her most ominous +tones, "Cornelius, that child won't always be a child," he started up and +began to walk up and down the room like one distracted. Still less could +I make out how, when he seemed more attached to me than ever he had been, +more anxious for my welfare, more bent on improving me by every means in +his power, he was so provokingly cool and reserved. + +At length I could stand it no longer. + +"You don't like me," I once said to him, a little angrily,--"you know you +don't; you never kiss me now--you know you never do." And I began to cry. + +Cornelius looked almost ludicrously perplexed. He hit his lip; his +upraised eyes sought the ceiling; he tapped his foot; he sighed +profoundly, then hung down his head, and looked melancholy. + +"I wish you would always remain a little girl of thirteen or so," he said +ruefully, "it would be a great deal more convenient and comfortable." + +I was piqued with the wish, and checked my tears to inform Cornelius I +hoped I should not remain a little girl; indeed I was sure of it, and +that though he did not care about me at all, he should not prevent me +from caring about him. He smiled, but not cheerfully; then he made an +effort, and said,-- + +"Never mind, Daisy, you shall be happy, let it cost what it may; only +don't tell Kate." + +"What must I not tell her, Cornelius?" + +"Never mind; but don't tell her." + +"But, Cornelius, I must know in order not to tell." + +"You are very inquisitive," was his short answer. + +I did not know what to make of him. He looked as oddly as he spoke, and I +had not the faintest idea of the generous sacrifice he resolutely +contemplated, at an age when most men are dead to all, save the +gratification of their own vehement passions. + +Since then I have understood both what Cornelius feared and what he +intended to do. I have admired his generosity and wondered at his +rashness in forgetting what was not merely likely to happen, but what +really did happen; namely, that he was to love again. + +This imprudent resolve had however the result of giving him momentary +peace, and, perhaps because its realization was still so distant, of +banishing from his mind all thought of the future. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +Of course Cornelius had gone on painting all this time. He finished his +Stolen Child, painted two other smaller and more simple pictures, and he +sent in the three to the Academy. + +"1 don't see why you should always send your pictures to the Academy," +said Kate; "I don't think it is fair to the other Exhibitions." + +Cornelius confessed that the argument had its weight. + +"But then you see, Kitty," he added, "I cannot do less; they behaved so +well to me last year about that trashy Happy Time: it really was a poor +thing, and yet see how well they hung it--they did not think much of it, +but they saw that it promised something for the future. Yes, they really +behaved very well--so well that though I am certain they will reject the +two minor pictures and only take in the Stolen Child, I feel I cannot do +less than give them the chance of the three." + +"You are too generous," sighed Kate; "you will never get on in the world +with those disinterested notions, my poor brother--never; besides, I put +it to your sense of justice, now, is it fair to the other Exhibitions?" + +Cornelius said perhaps it was not, but added that he really could not do +less, and persisted in his original intention. I remember, when the +pictures were sent off, that he said to me,-- + +"My little girl, let this be a lesson to you! Always do that which you +feel to be right, even though you should be a loser by it: depend upon +it, it is much better to feel generous than mean." + +But when was generosity appreciated in this world? The Hanging Committee +accepted the two inferior pictures and rejected the Stolen Child. +Cornelius was stung to the quick. + +"If they had rejected the three pictures," he said, "I really could have +borne it; I should have attributed it to want of room, or found some +excuse for them. But to go and take the two inferior paintings, and +reject the good one; to let it be thought--as it will be thought--by +public and critics, that this is all the progress I have made since last +year, it really is not fair." + +"Not fair!" sarcastically replied Miss O'Reilly; "not fair, Cornelius! It +is all of a piece with their behaviour to you from the beginning. I +always thought you had an enemy there, Cornelius." + +"But the Happy Time was accepted, Kate." + +"Of course it was, just as the two little things have been accepted, to +delude you and the public also with a show of impartiality of which you +at least, Cornelius, are not the dupe, I trust. It is all jealousy, mean +jealousy." + +"It at least looks like it," replied Cornelius, sighing profoundly. + +"Hanging Committee, indeed!" pursued Kate, whom never before had I seen +so bitter and so ironical, "they deserve their name! Oh yes, hanging! Are +their own pictures well hung? Oh dear no!--not at all--so impartial-- +very! Suppose they were hung instead of their pictures--in a row--not to +hurt them, they are not worth it--but just to let us have a look at +them!" + +In short, Miss O'Reilly was in a great rage; and if ever this unfortunate +and much-abused body got it, it was on this day, for having rejected "The +Stolen Child" of Cornelius O'Reilly, Esq. + +The two accepted pictures fetched ten pounds a-piece; the Stolen Child +was sold to a picture-dealer for forty pounds. + +"Go," indignantly said Cornelius to his favourite picture as they +parted,--"go, you are nothing now, but he who painted you will give you a +name yet!" + +Four years had now elapsed since Cornelius had set forth on the conquest +of Art with all the ardent courage of youth; and Art, alas! was still +unconquered, and the triumph of victory was still a thing to come. He had +anticipated difficulties, sharp and brief contests, but not this +disheartening slowness, this powerlessness to emerge from the long night +of obscurity. It irritated his impatient temper even more than the +rejection of his picture. He did not complain, for there was nothing +resembling querulousness in his nature; but he brooded over his +disappointment, and resentfully too, as appeared from what he once said +to me-- + +"If they think they'll prevent me from painting pictures, they'll find +themselves wonderfully deceived!" + +I am not sure that "they" meant the Hanging Committee; I rather think it +represented that vague enemy at whom disappointed ambition grasps so +tenaciously. Whatever it signified, Cornelius kept his word: he painted, +and harder than ever; but fortune was ungracious. Two charming cottage +scenes which he sent in on the following year were accepted, it is true, +but did little or nothing for his fame. One critic said "they were really +very nicely painted;" another "advised Mr. O'Reilly not to be quite so +slovenly;" a third found out that as in one of the cottages there was a +fiddle, it was a gross plagiarism of Wilkie's "Blind Fiddler," artfully +disguised indeed by the fiddle not being played upon, and of course none +of the characters listening to its music, but not the less evident to +lynx-eyed criticism; a fourth declared that Mr. O'Reilly was a promising +young artist, who, in a dozen years or so, could not fail to hold a very +respectable place in Art; and a fifth--one of those venal characters who +disgrace every profession--sent in his card and terms. Kate wanted her +brother to give him a cutting reply; he said there was nothing more +cutting than silence, and lit his cigar with Mr. --'s edifying letter.* +[* A fact.] + +"He does not complain," said Kate to me, "but I can see in his face +there's something brewing." + +I thought so too, and resolved to find it out. It was some time before I +succeeded; but I did succeed, and one day, when Kate said with a sigh-- + +"I wish I knew what's the matter with that boy!" + +I composedly replied-- + +"Cornelius wants to go to Rome." + +"Nonsense!" she said, jumping in her chair, "what has put that into your +head? Did he tell you?" + +"No; but I am sure of it." + +I spoke confidently; she affected to doubt me; but the same evening +proved the truth of my conjecture. It was not in Miss O'Reilly's nature +to turn round a thing, so, as we were all throe walking in the garden, +enjoying the cool [air], she suddenly confronted her brother, and said +bluntly-- + +"Cornelius, is it true that you want to go to Rome?" + +He reddened, looked astonished, and never answered. + +"Then it is true," she exclaimed with a sigh. + +"Yes, Kate, it is, but how do you know it?" + +"Midge told me." + +"Daisy!" he turned round and gave me a piercing look. "Why, I never +hinted anything of the sort to her." + +"No, but she found it out; and what do you want to go to Rome for, +Cornelius?" + +"To study, Kate. I have been too homely, too simple, and that is why I am +slighted; I should like to go, to study, to try the historic style: but +where is the use to talk of all this?" + +He sighed profoundly. + +"The historic style," cried Miss O'Reilly, kindling; "Cornelius, you have +hit the true thing at last: depend upon it you have. Of course you have +been too humble! give them something bold and dashing, and let us see +what they'll say to that! Go to Rome, Cornelius, go to Rome." + +"The means, Kate, the means!" + +"Bless the boy! As if I had not money." + +"Oh! Kate! you have done more than enough for me as it is," he replied, +crimsoning; "it makes my blood boil to think that I shall soon be twenty- +five--" + +"Nonsense!" she interrupted hastily, "will you go to Rome, study the +great masters, see all that painting has achieved of most glorious, +become a great painter yourself--or stay at home and plod on?" + +His varying countenance told how strong was the temptation: his look lit, +his colour came and went like that of a girl. + +"Yes or no?" decisively said Kate. + +"Well, then,--yes," he replied desperately; "I know it is mean, but I +cannot help it, the thought of it has for weeks kept me awake at night, +and haunted me day after day." + +"And you never told me," reproachfully interrupted his sister, "and never +would if Midge had not found it out!" + +He eluded the reproach by asking me how I had found it out. I could not +satisfy him; instinct had guided me more than knowledge; the word Rome, +uttered with stifled sigh; an impatient declaration that there was +nothing to be done here; a long lingering over old engravings of which +the originals were in Italy, were the signs which, often repeated and +united to my intimate acquaintance with every change of his face, had +showed me the secret thought of his heart. + +"You must go at once," resolutely said Kate; "can you be ready next +week?" + +"I could be ready to-morrow," replied Cornelius, with eyes that lit. + +There was a pang which he saw not on his sister's face; my heart fell to +see how eager he was to go from us. Unconscious of this he continued-- + +"The sooner I go the better, is it not, Kate? for then, you know, I shall +return the sooner, too." + +"Very true," she sighed; and his departure was fixed for the following +week. + +He was in a fever for the whole of that week. For the first time, he was +going to taste liberty: he was young, ardent, restless by nature, quiet +by force of circumstances; no wonder the prospect enchanted him. I was in +one sense happy to see him happy, but I felt acutely that he was going +away from us. He was gay and cheerful, I did not want to sadden him with +the sight of a grief I could not help feeling, and I shunned rather than +sought his company. Thus, two days before the day fixed for his +departure, instead of remaining with him and Kate in the back parlour +where they sat talking by the open window, I went out into the garden to +indulge in a good fit of crying. In the stillness of the evening I could +hear every word of their discourse. Either they did not know this or they +forgot it, for after dwelling enthusiastically on his prospects, +Cornelius added suddenly-- + +"How unwell Daisy looks!" + + "She is fretting about you. The poor child is fonder of you than ever, +Cornelius." + + "Do you think so?" he earnestly replied. + +"Of course I do. She frets, tries to hide it, and cannot; and you know, +Cornelius, it is only beauty looks lovely in tears." + + "She is not a beauty, but she has fine eyes." + +"Spite of which you cannot call her pretty, Cornelius." + +He sighed and did not contradict it. + +"I know you did not think so," continued Kate. + +"Oh! Kate!" he interrupted with another sigh, "why, any one can see the +poor child is only getting plainer as she grows up!" + +"Never mind," cheerfully said Kate. + +"But she may mind, and she will mind too. If the women slight and the men +neglect her, how can she but mind it?" + +"The plain have a happiness of their own," quietly replied Kate. "God +looks kindly on them and they learn to despise the rude harshness of the +world." With this she began talking to Cornelius of his journey. + +I was then near fifteen. I remember myself well,--a thin, slim girl, +awkward, miserably shy and nervous, with sunken eyes, a face more sallow +than ever, and hair scarcely darker in hue than when Miriam Russell had +aptly called it straw-coloured. I knew my own disadvantages quiet well, I +was accustomed to them, and though I quailed a little when I heard +Cornelius and Kate thus settle the delicate question of my looks, it was +only for awhile. It is true that the taunts of Miriam had formerly +exasperated me, because it was by her beauty that she had conquered and +replaced me in the heart of Cornelius; but with her power vanished the +sting of my plainness. The little emotion I felt was over when Cornelius +stepped out into the garden to indulge in a cigar. + +On seeing me, he looked much disconcerted. I daresay he thought I must be +cut to the quick by what I had heard; for though he did not allude to it, +he sat down on the wooden bench, made me sit by him, and was so unusually +kind that I could not help being a little amused. I allowed myself to be +petted for awhile, then I looked up at him and said, smiling-- + +"As if I minded it, Cornelius! As if I did not know that though I should +grow ever so plain, you would still like me! As if I could think it would +make any difference to you!" + +He muttered, "Oh! of course not!" I continued-- + +"Kate says you are handsome, and I dare say you are; but if you had lost +one eye, or had a great ugly scar across your face, or were disfigured in +some dreadful way, it would make no difference to me, Cornelius." + +He smiled, without replying: I resumed-- + +"Therefore, Cornelius, that does not trouble me much, but something else +which Kate said does trouble me." + +I paused, and looked at him; he seemed a little disturbed. + +"What are you talking of, child?" he said; "what do you mean?" + +"Kate said I was fonder of you than ever, Cornelius; it is true, very +true, I love you more as I grow up, because I know your goodness better; +but then something which you might conclude from that, Cornelius, is not +true." + +I looked up at him very earnestly. + +"Child!" he said, astonished; "what are you talking and thinking of?" + +"I am thinking, Cornelius, of a thing I have thought of for a year and +more. I often wanted to tell you, but I never dared; I should like to +tell you now, Cornelius, only I don't know how." + +Cornelius looked perplexed. + +"I would gladly help you," he observed, "if I only knew what it was +about." + +I could not help reddening. + +"Suppose," he said hastily, "you write it to me when I am in Italy--eh, +Daisy?" + +"I would rather say it than write it, Cornelius." + +"Then say it, child." + +"Well, then, Cornelius," I replied, a little desperately, "I will never +be jealous of you again--there!" + +"There!" he echoed, smiling, "is that the mighty secret?" + +"Yes, Cornelius, that is it," I replied, with a beating heart. + +"My good little girl," he said kindly, "I am glad you have such good +resolves; but I must set you right. You talk of not being jealous any +more, as you would talk of taking off a dress and never putting it on +again." + +"And should I, Cornelius, if it were old and worn out?" + +"But is this one worn out?" + +"I hope so. I think so." + +"I hope so too." + +But I could see he did not think it. I was anxious to convince him, and +resumed-- + +"Cornelius, do you remember how insolent I was when papa lived?--how rude +I showed myself to you when you came to see him?--how over-bearing to the +servants?" + +"You were a spoiled child, certainly; but you have got over that." + +"I think I have, Cornelius. When I came here, I was rude to Deborah, who +was good enough to bear with it for a long time; but one day Kate heard +me, and she told me she thought it very mean and ungenerous to be rude to +servants. She said she would not enjoin on me to apologize to Deborah; +but she hoped that, for my own sake, I would do so. The next day I went +down into the kitchen, and asked Deborah to forgive me." + +"How did you like that?" asked Cornelius giving me a curious look. + +"Not at all. It mortified me so much I could scarcely do it; but I was +never rude to Deborah again." + +"How is it I never heard of this story before?" + +"I begged of Kate not to tell you. I could not bear that you should think +me ungenerous and mean." + +"And the moral of all that, Daisy?" + +"That it is very mean to be jealous, Cornelius; very mean and ungenerous; +and that I hope never to be so again. Do you still think I shall?" I +added, glancing up at his face. + +"I think," he replied, looking down into mine, "that there is a strange +spark of austere ambition in you, strange in one so young: and that what +it will lead to is more than I can tell." + +"Cornelius, I don't feel ambitious; but I long to be good, and I hope God +will help me." + +"If that is not ambitious, I don't know anything about it," replied +Cornelius; "but it is a very fine ambition, Daisy; and I am glad you have +it; ay, and I respect you for it, too!" + +I looked up at him, to make sure he did not speak in jest; but he seemed +quite grave and in earnest. I felt much relieved; this matter had lain on +my heart a year and more, yet I never could have spoken to him, had he +not been going away. The passionate wish of making him give me a little +more of his regard and esteem had, alone, loosened my tongue, that wish +was now more than gratified by his words. + +"Oh! Cornelius," I exclaimed, "how good of you not to laugh at me!" + +"Poor child, did you expect I should?" + +"I feared it." + +He was gently reproving me for the fear, when Kate beckoned him in, and +held a whispered conversation with him in the passage. Some mystery +seemed afloat. I felt uneasy. When I bade Cornelius good-night that +evening, he kissed me with a lingering tenderness that troubled me. Was +not this, perhaps, a parting embrace? I fancied I detected unusual +sadness in his gaze, and heard him suppress a sigh. + +I said nothing; but I resolved not to sleep that night, sooner than run +the risk of losing the adieu of Cornelius. Soon after I had retired to my +room, I heard him and his sister come up too. It was scarcely ten; this +unusually early hour confirmed me in my suspicion. I sat up in the dark. +I heard twelve,--then one,--then two; and my power of keeping vigil +failed me. Sleep is a pitiless tyrant in youth. I felt my eyes +involuntarily closing. I took a resolve that was not without some +meaning. I softly stole out of my room, sat down on the mat at the door +of Cornelius, and, secure that he could not leave without my knowledge, I +soon fell fast asleep. What might have been foreseen, happened: +Cornelius, on leaving his room, stumbled over me. I woke; he stooped and +picked me up, with a mingled exclamation of wonder and dismay. + +"Daisy!" he cried, "are you hurt? What brought you here?" + +"I wanted to bid you good-bye. I guessed you were going." + +His room door stood half-open, and so did the window beyond it; the +morning stirred the white muslin curtains, and early dawn was blushing in +the grey sky. Cornelius drew me to that dim light, and gazed at me +silently. + +"How long have you been there?" he asked. + +"Since two; I felt too sleepy to sit up in my own room, and I was so +afraid you might go whilst I slept." + +"Since two--and it is four! You foolish child! If I wanted to go quietly, +it was only to spare your little heart some grief, and your poor eyes +some tears." + +"Cornelius, I shall not cry now. I shall wait until you are gone for +that." + +Attracted by the sound of our voices, Kate now opened her room door. + +"Daisy?" she exclaimed. + +"Yes," replied her brother, "Daisy, who has been sleeping at my door like +a faithful watcher. Oh! Kate, you'll take care of her whilst I am away?" + +"Yes, yes, of course; but don't stand losing your time there. Come down." + +We went downstairs. Cornelius took a hasty meal; then a cab stopped at +the door; his luggage was removed to it, and he stood ready to depart. +His sister was to go with him to the station. They thought it better for +me to stay behind, and I submitted. I kept my word--I did not cry--I went +through the parting courageously. Cornelius seemed much moved. He took me +in his arms, and repeatedly he embraced me, repeatedly he pressed me to +his heart. He exhorted me to persevere in my studies, to be good and +dutiful to Kate. Then he promised to write to me, called me his child, +his dear adopted daughter, gave me another kiss, put me away, and +departed. I saw him go, I heard the cab rolling down the street, not +without sorrow, but without bitterness. To be separated from him was +hard, no doubt, but to part with the consciousness of so much affection +on his side, with the prospect of a happy re-union, with the conviction +that his absence was to open to him a career of fortune and renown, was +not a thing that could not be borne. I wept heartily, but I was not +unhappy. + +In two hours Kate returned; she entered the parlour, sat down, took off +her bonnet, and began to cry. + +"Well," she said, "he has his wish--he is gone--and how glad, how eager +he was to go! Poor boy, he has had a dull, imprisoned life, and liberty +is sweet. Besides, it is in their nature; they like to rove, every one of +them; they like to rove, and once they are off, mother, sister, or wife +may wait." + +She cried again, but there never was a more firm, more cheerful nature. +She soon checked her tears, to say, with a sigh,-- + +"Now Midge, you must help me, for there is a wonderful deal to do. Well, +child, don't open your eyes. I forgot I had not told you--we are going to +leave." + +"To leave!" + +"Yes, my child, we must. I had money by me, to be sure; but not enough, +and I was not going to let Cornelius travel otherwise than as an Irish +gentleman, so I borrowed at interest. He will want for nothing, that is +one comfort; but we must pinch, Daisy, and to begin I have let the house +furnished to a single gentleman, who comes in next Saturday. He has +agreed to keep Deborah, who is now too expensive a servant for me. That +is why we must leave." + +"Very well," I said, resolutely; "we shall take a little room somewhere, +and I'll be your housemaid, Kate." + +She smiled, and kissed me. + +"Nonsense, child, we are not driven to that yet. You know your father +left some property,--very little, it is true, but you will find it safe +when you grow up. The house in which he died was his, and is yours now; +it has not proved a very valuable possession, for nobody will live in it +on account of its being so lone and bleak. Leigh is a cheap place, and +you and I, Daisy, are going to Rock Cottage after to-morrow." + +"To live in it, Kate?" + +"Yes, to live in it. There is nothing to keep me here, once he is gone. I +did not tell him this, as you may imagine, so there is no time to lose in +packing up. That was what I meant by saying you should help me." + +With the courage of a true heart, she rose at once and set to work. I +aided her willingly; we made such good despatch, that three days after +the departure of Cornelius we had left the Grove and reached Leigh. Miss +Murray, with whom Cornelius and Kate had always kept up an occasional +correspondence, had, through the medium of Abby, kindly provided our +future home with the first necessaries of beds, chairs, and tables; the +rest, Kate said, would come in time. + +The village through which we passed looked the same quiet place I had +left it five years before. Few changes had occurred; the only strangeness +was that men and women whose faces I had not forgotten, stared at us, and +knew me not. + +"How very odd!" I said to Kate, "I am sure that was Mr. Jenning, who +keeps the dancing academy. He ought to know me, ought he not, Kate? I was +one of his pupils. Papa said I should know how to dance, for that it gave +a graceful carriage. I believe he used to dance himself when he was quite +a young man, but I never saw him. Do you feel uuwell, Kate?" + +She made a sign of denial. I continued-- + +"Do you see that path, Kate? Well, it leads to my grandfather's house. I +wonder if he still lives in it with Mrs. Marks and my cousin Edith! I +will show you to-morrow the place where I felt tired, and Cornelius +carried me to Ryde. Why, Kate, we need not go on; this is Rock Cottage; I +forgot you did not know it." + +"Yes, there it stood, the same isolated white-washed, low-roofed dwelling +in its lone garden. My tears rushed forth as I saw again the home where I +had been reared, and where my father had died. Kate opened the door, but +as she crossed the threshold she turned deadly pale, and sank rather than +sat in the nearest chair. + +"Kate!" I cried, quite alarmed, "what is the matter with you?" + +I passed my arm around her neck; she gave me a most sorrowful look, then +laid her head on my shoulder, and cried as if her heart would break. + +"Oh, Kate!" I said, much distressed, "he has promised to be back in two +years, and indeed he will keep his word." + +She did not seem to heed me. + +"It was here," she murmured, "yes, it was here he died." + +This time I looked at her silent and astonished. + +"Oh, Daisy!" she cried, clasping her hands and looking up too, "is it +possible that you neither know nor guess that I was to have been your +father's wife, and that you ought to have been my child?" + +Her passionate tone went through my very heart. + +"You, Kate!" I said; "you!" + +"Yes," she replied, weeping more slowly; "it was to have been--it was +not--he died here alone, I was far away." + +Miss O'Reilly made me feel very strangely. I had never known my mother. I +drew closer to her, and after a while I said-- + +"Why did you not marry him?" + +"He was poor, and I had the child to rear; I could not bear to bring two +burdens upon him; it was pride, he thought it was mistrust, and married +another; I had no right to complain, nor did I; but it was then I took to +being so fond of the boy, just I suppose because he had cost me so dear." + +"But why did you not marry Papa after Mamma died?" I inquired. + +"He never asked me, child," and she bowed her head with sad and humble +resignation; "I thought he would, and I should have been glad to have had +him, but perhaps he could not quite forgive my having once preferred my +little brother to my grown-up lover; perhaps he thought me altered, and +no longer the pretty girl he had courted: whatever it was, he did not ask +me; and yet how good and friendly it was of him to help me as he did to +rear the boy for whom I had given him up! I sometimes think he liked me +in his heart, for Cornelius has often told me how my name was the last he +uttered; and I cannot help fancying he meant I was to have the care of +you. Oh! Midge, Midge," she added, looking me in the face very wistfully, +"I have loved you very dearly, because you were his child, but I have +often remembered that you ought also to have been mine." + +"If you had been Papa's wife, I mean his first wife," I said very +earnestly, "I should have been the niece of Cornelius, should I not, +Kate?" + +"You would have been my child." + +"And his niece too, Kate." + +"Do not be always thinking of Cornelius, Daisy." + +"Oh! Kate, Uncle Cornelius has such a pleasant sound!" + +She caressed me sadly; then we rose, went over the house together, and +finally surveyed the garden. All trace of man's art had vanished from the +spot, on which nature had bestowed a beauty and wild grace its culture +had never known. The hedge of gorse now enclosed but a green wilderness +of high waving grass, weeds, and wild flowers. Other flowers there were +none, and the tender shrubs uncared for, had perished, blighted by the +keen sea-breeze; the pine trees alone still stood and looked the same as +I had left them, over their changed domain. For awhile we looked down +from the stone steps where Cornelius had found me lying so desolate, then +Kate descended, and said to me-- + +"Daisy, we will not change much. We will spoil as little as we can the +freshness of the place. I like that green grass, those weeds that hide +the brown earth so well, those long trailing creepers and wild flowers. +We will just clear the path, add a few of the plants we like, give the +whole a look of home, and leave what is beautiful as we found it." + +"Kate," I exclaimed, hastening down to the pine-trees, "here is the sea. +You have not yet had a good view of it, do come and look. Do you remember +how I got up on the table in the studio to get a sight of it? Oh! is it +not a grand thing?" + +She smiled at my enthusiasm, and sat down on the wooden bench, which +still stood in its old place. My heart swelled as I remembered that there +I had received my father's embrace, but I would not sadden her by +recalling it; I shaded my eyes with my hand to hide my tears, and whilst +they flowed I looked long and silently on that eternal ocean on which, +for nearly five years, I had not gazed. + +It still rolled its heavy waters with majestic calmness; they now looked +dark as molten lead, a white line of surf marking where they broke on the +beach. The day had been grey and cloudy, and the sun was setting veiled +and without splendour. For awhile the heavy clouds resting on the low, +sea-bound horizon, still wore a reddish tint, like the smouldering ashes +of a spent fire. Like them too they suddenly grew pale. Light mists, +advancing from the sea, shrouded the coast below, distinctness faded away +from every object, and the penetrating chillness of evening began to +spread upon the air. Kate rose; we went in; as we ascended the steps she +turned hack, she looked on the wild garden, on the pine-trees whose dark +and spreading branches now moved to the evening breeze with a low +rustling sound, at that broad sky crossed by swift clouds and hanging +over the sea, and with a sigh she said-- + +"It was just like him, to come and live here,--he always liked wild +places." + +We entered the house, there to spend a quiet subdued evening, talking of +him who had scarcely left us, and to whose return I already looked +forward. + +In a week we were settled at Rock Cottage. A little black-eyed girl, +answering to the name of Jane, was our only servant. We led a humble, yet +happy, homely life, to which the thought of the absent one lent something +of the charm we once had found in his presence. + +Household matters occupied Kate, and the garden was her relaxation. It is +a spot which, ever since the days of Eve, has, in one sense, been the +paradise of woman. The curse of banishment that fell on both her and Adam +touched her more nearly. After his fall Eden itself could no more have +been the limit of his hopes and desires, but Eve, if allowed to do so, +could have lingered in the happy place for ever. Her daughters still love +what she loved, and wherever they dwell, in wild or in the city, there +too are the flowers which Eve first tended in happy Eden. + +I shared the tasks and the pleasures of Kate, but whereas the absence of +Cornelius, though deeply felt, had changed little or nothing in her +habits or external life, it opened to me a new existence. Hitherto my +life and my feelings had slept in the shadow of the life and feelings of +Cornelius. He influenced me completely, when least seeking to do so. I +loved his sister, but she had not that power over me, and when I was +parted from my friend, I seemed to have remained alone and to fall back +perforce on myself. + +But when one evil, one teaching fail, God sends the needful. He now gave +me nature in those aspects, both sublime and beautiful, which she wore +around the home of my childhood. From winds and waves, from aspects of +sea and winning shore, from green solitudes and spots of wild beauty, 1 +learned, though all unconsciously, pure and daily lessons. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +I know not whether my native air did me good, or whether, had I even +remained in the Grove, a crisis in my health would have taken place, but +I know that to Kate's great joy I grew so strong and well, that she +declared the change all but miraculous. I felt an altered being. My love +of silence and repose vanished; I now rejoiced in motion and out-door +exercise with all the unquiet delight of youth, and thirsted, with ever +new longing, for air and liberty. + +Scarce passed a day but I went down the path that led from our garden to +the sands, and I wandered away along the rock-bound coast. This part of +the country was both safe and retired; few met or noticed me in my +solitary haunts, and I feared harm from none. It was often dusk when I +returned to the white cottage, whose light burned like a solitary star on +the heights above. I loved these lonely wanderings. I loved that barrier +of steep and fantastic rock which ran along the coast, and fenced it in +from the outer world; that long line of winding shore, fading in faint +mists, until it rested, like a low cloud, on the distant horizon; that +sea, whose waves broke at my feet, and yet seemed to extend beyond the +power of mortal ken to follow, whilst the hollow sky, bent down from +above and enclosing all, gave a sense of limit in the very midst of +infinite. + +Leigh does not by any means belong to the most romantic and picturesque +part of the western coast; but on whatever shore the sea-waves break, +there always is a great and dreary beauty. To sit on a lonely rock, to +watch the fishing boats as they slowly sailed along the coast, or the +ships on their distant track, to feel the solemn vastness of all around +me, to note the rapid and almost infinite changes of light ever passing +over rock, sea, and sky, to listen to the sounds which varied from the +loudest roar of the swelling tide breaking at my feet, down to its lowest +receding murmur, but that never ceased to echo, rise, and die away +amongst those lonely cliffs, was to me a delight beyond all else. + +There were pleasant walks about Leigh, but I soon wearied of them, and +ever returned to my barren and much-loved coast. There I learned to know +the sea under all her aspects. I saw her in sunshine, spreading +peacefully beneath cloudless heavens, like them, an image of serenity and +repose, and idly speeding on the light crafts that pursued their way with +indolent and careless grace. I saw her in storm, darkness brooding over +her heaving waters, her vast, white-crested billows rearing like angry +serpents against the lowering sky, her hovering flocks of pale sea-birds +rising and sinking to every motion of the waves like evil spirits +rejoicing in the tempest, whilst some bold ship, with mainmast broken, +with torn sails fluttering like banners on a battle day, sped past amidst +the turmoil of wind and wave, riding the waters with a triumphant power +that banished fear, and made you feel she would yet reach the port, and +weather many another storm. I also found in the ocean other aspects less +definite, but to me not less impressive,--the desolate and the bleak, +when the wide waters of a dull green hue rolled sluggishly along or +heavily beat the sandy beach, whilst fleecy clouds slowly passed over a +misty sky where grey melted into paler grey, giving that sense of vague +and melancholy infinite which can only be felt on the wild northern +shores. + +I delighted in this wild and lonely life, and seldom felt the utter +solitude of my daily haunts. Sometimes indeed, when I chanced to meet in +the sand the mark of my own footprints, which no other steps had crossed +since I had passed there, which the wind alone would efface or the tide +wash away, a sense of sudden sadness came over me. It seemed as if a +friend, whom I never could meet or overtake, had made and left that track +for me to see. I felt vaguely that she who had passed there was not quite +the same who passed now. Only a few days perhaps had gone by: but of +those few days, unseen and unfelt as they speed on, is made up not only +the sum, but also the ceaseless change of this our earthly life. + +Dearly as I have loved solitude, I hold it no unmixed good. Woe to the +communion with nature that is only a brooding over self, and not a +mingling of the soul with the Almighty Creator of all we behold; that +seeks in her loveliness none save the images of voluptuous indulgence, +and leaves by unread her purer teaching! Rightly even in innocent things +have we been warned to guard our senses and our hearts. For this I hold +ye dangerous, ye sheltered valleys, with quiet rivers gliding through, +with green woods and lovely paths leading we know not where, with +peaceful dwellings embosomed in the shade, and looking like so many +abodes of love and happiness. What though we know that the golden age was +all a fable and pastoral bliss the dream of poets, that innocence and +peace dwell not here, though here passion and satiety can penetrate as +surely as in the crowded city? Yet who, on beholding you, has not for a +moment wished to live and die on your quiet bosom? Who has not felt that +the thoughts you waken melt and subdue the heart, and haunt it vaguely +for many a day, and enervate it with longing dreams and desires that +savour too much of earth. + +Not these the feelings which thou awakenest, thou austere sea,--austere +in thy very beauty, in thy calmest and most unruffled moods. More true +and honest are thy promises, which thou at least keepest faithfully,--the +long, arduous strife against wind and storm, the tardy return of +weatherbeaten mariners,--ay, and often too the wreck,--the wreck which +may appal the weak, but never yet dismayed a brave heart;--these are the +hopes thou holdest forth--these the promises which life, whom thou +imagest, will fulfil, until her waves, calm or troubled, rough or smooth, +lead us into that mysterious sea which man has named Eternity. + +Our home existence was as quiet and secluded as my outward life. On +settling at Leigh, Miss O'Reilly had come to a resolve which she thus +imparted to me one evening:--"Daisy, you were too young when you left +Leigh to know that because it is a small place it must have the +inconvenience of all small places, in which life is a round of back- +biting, quarrelling, envying, scandal, and gossip. Now we can't help +being backbitten or talked about, but we can help doing it to others: the +way, child, is to keep to ourselves and to see no one. We shall be hated, +as a matter of course; thought proud, or still worse in England, poor. +Never mind, child, those are not the things one cannot endure." + +"Papa was thought proud," I said. + +"And so he was, child; he had a mind above the paltriness of such a place +as this,--of course he had: he never would have been a popular man +anywhere, never. Well, as I was saying, child, we must bear with being +thought proud and poor, for we shall make no acquaintances. A decent, +civil intercourse we must certainly keep up with Miss Murray--she won't +trouble us much, poor thing!--but beyond this we do not go. Now, you must +not misunderstand me. I do not mean to keep you locked up, and if you can +get acquainted with pleasant young people, I do not object. There is a +dancing academy, it seems, and since your father wished you to learn how +to dance, you must learn it, of course. If you meet there sensible girls +whom you would like to see, see them here in liberty; but as to visiting +their mammas, or being visited by them, I decline the honour." + +Thus it was settled. We lived in our retired way; we were thought proud +and poor; we saw Miss Murray every now and then in her own house, for to +come near us was an exertion not to be thought of; I went to the academy, +and learned how to dance, but I found all the young ladies so little to +my taste, that with not one of them did I form an intimate acquaintance, +and two years passed away in this quiet, monotonous life, varied by the +letters of Cornelius. + +Only a few were addressed to "his dear adopted child," but they were so +kind, they breathed an affection so true, an interest so heartfelt, that +to this day, and spite of all that has passed since then, I cannot look +over them without emotion. In all his letters, Cornelius spoke of course +of his art and his prospects. He was enchanted with Rome, and ardent with +hope; but he did not think it worth while to send home anything before +his return. He thought he might just as well wait until he was coming +back, and take the public by storm. Miss O'Reilly thought so too, and we +accordingly expected her brother in the spring of the second year +following his departure. A somewhat enigmatic letter, in which he +expressed his great wish of seeing us both again, confirmed this +impression. + +"Depend upon it, Daisy," said Miss O'Reilly to me, "he means to take us, +like the public, by surprise." + +The mere thought took away my breath. + +"Oh, Kate!" I exclaimed, laying down my work, "if he were to enter the +room now, what should I do?" + +"I am sure I don't know," replied Kate, looking up from her letter, "you +look wild enough for anything. Go and take a walk, child, and calm +yourself down with the fresh seabreeze. We are in March, I don't expect +him for a fortnight or three weeks yet. Go out, I say; he must find you +fresh and healthy." + +"You don't think he will come whilst I am out, Kate?" + +"Bless the child! no; I tell you not to expect him for three weeks." + +I sighed; three weeks seemed an age, and, spite of her assurances, I had +a nervous apprehension that Cornelius would arrive precisely whilst I was +away; yet I yielded to her behest of going out. I wanted to see William +Murray, and tell him the happy tidings; so I just put on my bonnet and +cloak, and hastened down to the sands. It was a mild afternoon; the sky +was clear, earth was silent, the cliffs rose grey and lonely, the flat +beach was yet wet with the retreating tide that had left many a wide +shallow pool behind, the far sea lay calm and still, and over sky, earth, +cliffs, beach and sea, the setting sun shed a pale, golden glow. I walked +fast, looking out for William, whom I at length saw coming towards me. +And this reminds me I have neglected to mention how my acquaintance with +him was renewed, after so long an interruption. + +We had not parted very good friends. He had called me "a sulky little +monkey," and if I had not retaliated, I had nevertheless internally +considered him a young bear then and ever since. When, shortly after our +return to Leigh, I met him at his aunt's house, William, who was nearly +two years my senior, was in all the charming roughness of his sex in the +teens. He had not yet got over being left to petticoat government, as he +termed the rule of his gentle aunt, and accordingly vented the +indignation of his injured manliness on her female friends. On seeing us +enter the room in which Miss Murray sat in her usual shady state, her +amiable nephew thrust his hands into his pockets, and began whistling +with all his might. Miss O'Reilly took no notice of this, but in the +course of conversation she quietly observed to Miss Murray-- + +"What a fine boy your nephew is, Ma'am?" + +"Ah! if he were only a good boy!" sighed Miss Murray. + +William was then turned seventeen; but he looked about fourteen; the +observation of Kate was therefore doubly insulting. I know not whether it +was to show his resentment, that at tea he shuffled and kicked his feet +under the table to such a degree, that his aunt, laying down her cup, +solemnly inquired, "If he intended to break her heart, as he was ruining +her furniture and endangering the shins of her guests?" To which delicate +question, the only reply William deigned to give was a scowl over his +tea-cup, and a sarcastic intimation at the close of the meal, that "tea +was the greatest slop and most womanish stuff _he_ had ever tasted." + +"Milk and water is decidedly more wholesome for children," mischievously +said Kate. + +William turned scarlet, stabbed her with a look, rose and left the room, +slamming the door after him. Miss Murray produced her handkerchief, and +looked pitiful. + +"I appeal to you, Ma'am, is not mine a dreadful, a lamentable case! That +boy, Ma'am, is the misery of my life; twice he has run away, and has had +to be pursued and caught; each time offering the most desperate +resistance." + +"He is but a boy," good-humouredly observed Kate, "he will grow out of +all this." + +Miss Murray however, for a reason very different from that of Rachel, +would not be comforted, and lamented the length of the holidays. Kate +herself changed her opinion when she discovered on the following morning +the manner in which the shoes of William had used her light grey silk. +She called him a little wretch; and, in her indignation, wondered what +could tempt his aunt to have him pursued and brought back, when by +absconding he had offered her so easy a method of getting rid of him +altogether. I almost concurred in this opinion, and altogether looked +upon William as a sort of young Christian savage. + +So far as I could see, the gracious youth did not trouble his aunt much +with his company. I seldom or ever went down to the sands without meeting +him with his dog 'Dash,' a shaggy-coated creature, as rough-looking as +his master, who went whistling past me with superb indifference. I had +met them thus one day, the youth climbing the cliffs, and the dog +bounding on before him, and now and then turning round to utter a short +joyous bark at his master, when, on returning homewards, I saw them again +under altered circumstances. William sat on a rock at the base of the +cliff, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands, and at his feet +Dash lay dead. He had fallen from above, and been killed at once; his +young master looked at him silently, and, as I approached, dashed away a +furtive tear. I stood, unwilling to go on without having expressed +sympathy or attempted consolation, and not knowing how to do either, I +knelt on the sands and, caressing the poor dead dog, I hesitatingly +observed-- + +"He was a very good dog, was he not?" + +"There never was a better," replied William in a subdued voice. + +"He seemed very clever." + +"I could make him do anything. He'd dash in the roughest sea at a look, +and if I only said 'Dash!' he'd look into my face, prick his ears, and be +ready to fly off. Poor old Dash! he'll never do the bidding of his master +again." + +And he stooped over him to hide his tears. + +"Was he old?" I asked. + +"Just turned five; the prime age, you know; at four they are too young, +and at six they are aging: five is the age for a dog. That was why he was +such a beauty; see what a coat he had, what a deep broad chest, and such +a back! I'll take a bet with any one, you can hear that dog's bark for +miles along the coast; that is to say, one could have heard it, for +Dash's barking is all ended and over now." + +Thus poor William sat lamenting over his lost favourite, recording his +virtues and some of his many exploits, when I said-- + +"I suppose you will bury him in Miss Murray's garden?" + +"No, that I shan't," he replied indignantly, "he shall be buried where he +fell, as they bury soldiers after battle." + +So saying, he drew forth his knife, and began digging a deep and narrow +grave at the base of the sea-washed cliff; he lined it softly with his +handkerchief, saying as he did so-- + +"Won't Abby have a precious hunt for it?" + +Then he took Dash, gave him a last caress, gently laid him in his grave, +covered him over with sand and earth, and marked the spot with a fragment +of rock, on which he carved the day of the month and year. + +"Won't you put his name?" I asked. + +"No. Dash answered and obeyed no one but me; his name is nothing to any +one else, and I don't want to know it." + +We walked on. As a projecting rock was going to hide the spot from our +view, William turned round to give it one last glance, then he looked at +me wishfully, and said, "I had him from a pup, and I taught him all his +tricks." + +From that day William and I were friends. We met to talk of Dash at +first, and afterwards of other things, for even the best of dogs must +expect to be forgotten. William generously forgave me my sex, and +confided to me his troubles. His aunt, it seems, kindly intended him as a +present to the Church, but William vowed no mortal power should induce +him to turn a parson, and boldly declared for the sea, in a midshipman's +berth, against which his aunt, whose ideas of nautical life were summed +up in grog and biscuit, entered a solemn protest. + +As we very seldom visited Miss Murray, and as she never visited us, I +only saw William when I met him out, and that was often, for we loved the +same solitary haunts and wild scenes. In parting we told one another what +places we were to visit on the morrow, and William no more knew he had +asked me for a meeting, than I knew I had granted him one. We followed +the retreating tide to gather shells and sea-weeds, or ran hand in hand +along the sands, laughing, because the keen breeze took away our breath, +and the waves came dashing to our feet, covering us with spray. We +climbed together the steepest cliffs for the mere love of danger, and +risked our necks, ten times for one, by running down the same perilous +path. When we felt tired, we sat down on some rock to rest, and William, +drawing forth from his pocket 'The Dangers of the Deep,' made me low- +spirited with dismal stories of lost or shipwrecked mariners. Friendships +grow rapidly in youth, and by the close of William's holidays we were as +free and intimate as if we had been in familiar intercourse for years. + +I had told Miss O'Reilly of Dash's death and burial, and was beginning to +state that William Murray was not quite so bad as he had appeared on our +first interview, when she interrupted me with-- + +"Nonsense, child, the boy may have liked his dog; but what about it?" + +Later, when I imparted to her the grievances of my friend, she treated +them in the same careless, slighting way. + +"Pooh! pooh!" she said, "does the little fellow think he knows his own +mind? A midshipman! why the first breeze would whip him off the deck. +He'll do a great deal better in the pulpit, so far as physical strength +goes, but what sort of a preacher he will make is more than I can tell." + +I was too much mortified by her tone and manner to renew the subject; but +at the same time, and with the spirit of opposition of my years, I liked +William all the better for being rather persecuted. Indeed, the aversion +Kate had taken to my friend proved somewhat unfortunate, for, without +intending any mystery, I forbore to mention his name to her; consequently +she knew little or nothing of an intimacy which I have reason to believe +she would have opposed from many motives, and to which her opposition +would in the beginning have been a sufficient bar. + +In spite of the ridicule with which Miss O'Reilly treated his pretensions +to the sea, William Murray conquered his aunt's opposition, and, in the +course of the ensuing spring, went forth on his first voyage. He remained +a year away, and came back about a week before we received the letter +which led us to expect the return of Cornelius. Our joy on seeing one +another again was great; absence had not cooled our friendship; not a day +passed but we met on the sands, and took long walks down the coast. I +thought nothing of this until Miss O'Reilly said to me-- + +"William Murray is come back." + +"Yes, I know," I replied, feeling that I turned crimson. + +"And how do you know?" she asked, giving me an attentive look. + +"I met him on the sands." + +She did not ask me why I had not mentioned it to her sooner, but said +quietly-- + +"That boy has grown very much." + +The word "boy" relieved me greatly. Since William was only a boy, there +could be no sort of harm or indiscretion in being so much with him, nor +was there either any absolute necessity to mention the matter to Miss +O'Reilly. So when, to quiet my anticipations, she sent me out for a walk, +I did not inform her that one of my motives for complying with her +request was to impart the tidings to William Murray. As I saw him +advancing towards me, I eagerly ran to meet him. + +"Oh, William," I cried joyfully, "I am so glad, so happy." + +"Then Mr. O'Reilly is come back?" he said, stopping short to look at me. + +"No; but he is coming soon, quite soon. Is it not delightful?" + +"Indeed it is," he replied cordially; "tell me all about it, Daisy." + +We sat down on a ledge of rock facing the sea, and I told him all there +was to tell. He heard me with a pleased smile on his kind, handsome face, +which he kept turned towards mine, as he sat there in a listening +attitude. William was then between eighteen and nineteen. He was slight +in figure, but above the middle height, and of a spirited bearing. His +complexion, once too fair, had become embrowned by constant exposure, and +spite of his light hair and blue eyes he looked sufficiently manly; his +midshipman's attire became him well, and the consciousness of having +entered active life had freed his manner from much of its ungracious +roughness. Of these changes I was conscious, but other change I saw not: +William was to me what he had been since we had become friends--frank, +ingenuous, and boyish in his kindness. I had often spoken to him of +Cornelius, and I now closed my brief recital with the remark-- + +"Oh, William! I am so happy that I scarcely know what to do with myself." + +He looked at me silently, began tracing figures in the sand with a +slender wand which he held, then suddenly looked up again, and said, very +earnestly-- + +"He is quite like a father to you, Daisy." + +"More than a father," I replied, ardently, "for a father is bound to do +for his child what, of his own free-will, Cornelius did for me. And then +so kind! always giving me new playthings, or books, or things I liked." + +"And you were quite like a daughter to him." + +"I was, and am. Look, here is his last letter, beginning with 'my dear +child,' and signed, 'your old friend, Cornelius;' but I have another at +home, in which he actually calls me 'his dear, adopted daughter.' I am +quite proud of it, for he is to be very celebrated, you know, and it is a +great honour." + +William again traced figures in the sand, but he did not speak. + +"Well," I said, bending down to look at him, "what are you thinking of?" + +"That I should like you to be proud of being my friend," he replied, with +an earnest look. + +"I am proud of it, so you have your wish." + +"Yes, but I should like you to have cause, and also, Daisy, I should like +to do something to please you. I wish I could." + +"And so do I," 1 answered, laughing, "for you would bring him back at +once." + +"Indeed I would: in the first place, because your heart is set upon it; +in the second, because I very much wish to know Mr. O'Reilly. I like him +for your sake, and all he has done for you; and then, from what you tell +me, I am sure he is a thoroughly good man." + +I could not help laying my hand on the arm of William, and replying +earnestly-- + +"Indeed, William, he is a good man, and when you see and know him, you +will find that you were not mistaken, though good is not, I dare say, the +word most people would apply to Cornelius O'Reilly." + +William took this as a compliment to his penetration, and was rather +gratified. The sun had set, grey evening was closing in; we rose, and +walking together along the silent beach, we talked of Cornelius, and laid +down plans of pleasant excursions up the coast, and far down the inland +valleys, to be undertaken after his return. But, to our mutual +mortification, William's leave of absence expired, nay the Academy +opened, and Cornelius came not back to take us and the public by +surprise. In her indignation, Miss O'Reilly declared that there could be +but one interpretation given to such extraordinary conduct--"Cornelius +has got entangled." + +"How so, Kate?" I asked. + +"Why, he is either married or going to be married to some Italian lady; +that is it." + +"Do you think so?" I asked quietly. + +"Bless the child, how coolly she takes it!" exclaimed Kate, half angrily. + +"I have no right to take it otherwise, Kate; besides, provided Cornelius +comes back to us, what matter?" + +"What matter! suppose he has been married all this time, and has a family +about him!" + +"I don't think Cornelius would marry as if he were ashamed of himself," I +replied, rather indignantly; "then how can he have a family in two years? +and even if he had--" + +"Nonsense, child!" interrupted Kate, impatiently, "I don't speak of it as +a fact, and there you go, coolly dissecting every hasty word I utter, as +if I were giving evidence before judge and jury!" + +"Well, Kate, all I mean to say is this--if Cornelius has a wife and +children, where is the harm, provided he does not settle in Italy?" + +Miss O'Reilly was of a very different opinion, and, as she seemed +inclined to be vexed with me for disagreeing with her, I dropped the +subject and proposed a walk. She shortly replied that with an Italian +sister-in-law in prospect she did not feel disposed for walking; but +that, as the matter did not touch me, I was quite right in not taking it +to heart. I did not answer; I did not wish to add to her annoyance by +letting her see how bitter was my disappointment at the prolonged absence +of Cornelius, and the voluntary obscurity under which he lingered. + +The thought kept me awake in bed beyond my usual hour; but at length I +slept. I awoke with a sudden start, I myself knew not why; I thought I +had heard something in my sleep, what I could not tell. I sat up and +listened; yes, there was a sound of voices below in the parlour. I rose +and opened my door softly. One of the voices was that of Kate: the +other--unheard for two years, but not forgotten?-was that so well known +and so dear, of her brother. I did not give myself time for joy; I +dressed hurriedly and slipped down. The parlour door stood ajar; I looked +in; he sat by Kate, bending over her and embracing her with a fondness +which, as I felt, a little jealously, she had not called me down to +share. He sat with his back turned to me, and saw me not; the floor was +carpeted, my step was always light; I stood by his side ere he was +conscious of my presence. I wished to speak, but the words died unuttered +on my lips; I remained standing there, mute, motionless, and trembling +from head to foot. + +"Daisy!" he exclaimed, starting up. His arms were around me--I was +gathered to his heart. + +"Well!" he said, "what is the matter with you? You do not even give me a +kiss. Have I grown strange?" + +I did not answer; a singular feeling was coming over me; a mist fell on +my eyes; the room seemed, with all it contained, to swim before my sight, +then suddenly vanished in utter darkness. I had fainted for the first +time in my life. + +When I recovered I was lying on the sofa. Cornelius was bending over me, +and helping his sister, armed with a formidable bottle, to rub my face +and hands with vinegar. + +"I am so glad," I cried, starting up. + +"Why, there, she is all alive again!" exclaimed Miss O'Reilly. + +"I am so glad," I continued, joyfully, "I thought I had dreamt it." + +I sat up, and twining my arms around the neck of Cornelius, I kissed him, +whilst my tears flowed fast. He sat down by me, and anxiously asked how I +felt. + +"Why, very well," I replied, laughing, in the gladness of my heart. + +"Ay, ay," said Kate, smiling, "we may cork up the bottle, and lock it up, +may we not, Daisy?" + +"Are you sure you are quite well?" urged Cornelius; "you fainted, you +know." + +"Did I?" I had scarcely heeded the remark. Seated by him, with my arm +locked in his, his hand clasping mine, I looked at him eagerly, +delighting every sense with the consciousness of his dear presence. He +asked me if the room did not feel too close, if I did not want air, and I +could give him no answer, so charmed was I to listen to his voice again. + +"Let her alone," said Kate, gaily; "she is well enough now; she fainted +because she was glad to see you, and she got well at once for the same +reason precisely. All she wants is to look at your face." + +He turned it towards me; it was as kind and handsome as ever, not in the +least altered. I could not take my eyes from it, and in the overflowing +joy of my heart I exclaimed-- + +"Oh, Kate! Kate! I shall be too happy now, shall I not?" + +"You see the poor child is as mad as ever," said Kate. + +"I hope she has been a good girl in my absence," he observed, rather +gravely. + +"Of course she has." + +"Learnt her lessons well?" + +"Bless the boy!" exclaimed Kate, "does he think she is still a little +girl? Don't you find her altered?" + +"Oh yes, she has grown." + +"Grown! grown!" impatiently said his sister, "of course she has! do you +not think she has improved?" + +"She seems much stronger." + +Miss O'Reilly looked disappointed. Cornelius questioned me concerning my +studies; I answered to his satisfaction; he stroked my hair and called me +a good child. + +"It is very odd you will persist in calling Daisy a child," drily said +Miss O'Reilly. + +"Well, am I not his child?" I asked. + +"Nonsense!" she replied, looking provoked. + +"Indeed, I am his adopted daughter," I said eagerly. + +"I never yet heard that a man of twenty-six or so had a daughter near +seventeen," was her ironical reply. + +Cornelius smiled; but I warmly vindicated our relationship. + +"I am very glad he is so young," I observed. "Most girls have old +fathers; mine is not old; he will live the longer." + +Cornelius laughed; his sister said "Pish!" and Jane, by bringing in the +supper-tray, closed the conversation. Indeed our discourse was of the +most desultory kind. Although Cornelius protested that he was not in the +least fatigued, having rested in London before coming to us, Kate would +not hear of our sitting up. She made me leave him just as I was beginning +to talk to him of his painting. To comfort me she confidently informed me +as we went upstairs, that a large wooden case in the back parlour +contained his pictures; to this intelligence she added, with a +significant look-- + +"He has not got entangled after all." + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +We were not prepared for the sudden return of Cornelius; his room was +neither aired nor ready; Miss O'Reilly accordingly gave him up her own +apartment, and slept with me. She complained of my restlessness; well she +might! tossed on a sea of unquiet joy, I scarcely slept. I woke and rose +early. The morning was bright and gay, and my little room overflowed with +sunshine. + +"Now, Daisy," said Kate, in a tone of remonstrance, "you need not be in +such a hurry: he is not awake yet, child!" + +I was opening the window as she spoke. I drew back quickly, for it looked +on the garden; I was but half-dressed, and, though I saw no one, the +fresh breeze brought me the scent of a cigar. My heart leaped with joy, +and something seemed to say within me, "Yes, yes, he is come back." + +"Not awake!" I exclaimed aloud, "why he is already in the garden! Oh! +Kate, do help me to fasten on my dress." + +"Not that dingy, everyday grey thing!" decisively said Miss O'Reilly, "he +hates dull colours." + +She went to my drawers, and drew forth a light blue muslin. + +"But it has short sleeves!" I observed, a little uneasily, "and it looks +so dressy!" + +"Never mind the short sleeves or the dressiness either--the chief thing +is, not to annoy him with an ugly colour he cannot endure." + +I yielded against my own wish and judgment; partly to gratify her, and +still more to lose no time. I gained nothing by the ready compliance. +Miss O'Reilly dressed me as she had never dressed me before; she +suggested or rejected improvements with unusual and irritating +fastidiousness. Now a snow-white habit-shirt "would look so nice, or if +my hair were braided, instead of being in plain bands, it would become me +so much better." + +I could not help crying. + +"Oh, Kate, if you would only let me go! What will Cornelius care about +all this?" + +"But I care," replied Miss O'Reilly. "I thought Cornelius would find you +so much improved; but all he noticed was that you had grown." + +"Because that is all!" I said, laughing. + +"It is not. But last night you were pale and wild-looking; besides, you +had that ugly grey thing on; but now, Midge, let me tell you there is a +difference." + +She was holding me out at arm's length, with a satisfied look and smile. + +"There!" she said, dropping my hand, and releasing me, "you may go now." + +I waited for no second bidding. I ran down the stairs, then up the gravel +path that led to the pine-trees. The scent of the cigar had not deceived +me: he stood leaning against the trunk of the farthest pine, looking at +the fresh sparkling sea that spread beneath, and went far away to meet a +white line of horizon arched over by a sky of brightest blue. He turned +round as I reached him all out of breath, and welcomed me with a smile. I +stood by him, looking at him with the delighted eyes with which we gaze +at those we love. He laid his hand on my shoulder, and looked at me too, +silently at first, then all at once he said-- + +"God bless your pleasant face!" and stooping, kissed my brow. + +My heart beat a little; I could not help being glad. There was nothing in +me beyond what there is in every girl from fifteen to twenty; but then +this is the golden age of woman, when the youthful grace of the outlines +makes the gazer forget their irregularity, and seeing the cheek so fresh +and clear, he asks not whether it be dark or fair--when he is charmed by +the sense of a being who has not dwelt on earth too long, and gives +pleasant welcome to this late arrived guest. + +Our first greeting over, Cornelius and I sat down on the wooden bench. +The wind came from the west. It blew fresh in our faces, and bowed over +us the pine-trees and their rustling branches, through which the slanting +rays of the sun behind came warm and pleasant. Our glance rested on a +sweep of winding shore, half veiled in light sparkling mists; on that sea +which looked so serene, and yet seemed so living and so free in its very +repose. Our ear was greeted by the low dash of waves on the beach below, +by the murmurs of a breeze that died away far inland amongst low hills +and lonely places, and looking up at one another with a smile, we both +said what a lovely morning it was. I passed my arm within that of +Cornelius, and clasping both my hands over it, I looked up into his face +and began a series of questions. + +"Tell me all about your pictures and your painting." + +A light cloud passed over his brow, as he replied-- + +"Never mind about the pictures just now, Daisy." + +"Well, then," I said, though a little disappointed, "tell me all about +Italy." + +"All about it--there's a modest request!" + +"Well, then, tell me something. Are the Italian women so handsome?" + +"Some are, some are not." + +His tone and manner were abstracted. I could not but notice that he was +surveying me from head to foot. + +"What else?" I asked, a little impatiently. + +"What else?" he echoed, still looking at me. + +"Yes, what else?" + +"Nothing else; save that I am thinking of something else just now." + +"I knew you would notice it," I exclaimed, feeling myself reddening; "I +told Kate so." + +"Indeed?" + +"Yes; it was her doing, not mine. She said you hated grey, and made me +put on this blue muslin, though it looks so gay for the morning." + +"Well," replied Cornelius, with a smile, "blue is as charming a colour as +grey is cold and dull to the eye. But to tell you the truth, I was not +thinking about your dress." + +"Ah!" I said, rather abashed. + +"No,--I was thinking of the change two years have wrought, and wondering +I never noticed it last night. The other one was a pale, sickly little +thing, a poor wee Daisy, coming up weak and stunted on the outskirts of +the town; this one is fresh and fair as any wild flower that grows. Why, +where did she, once so wan and sallow, get that clear, rosy freshness? +What kind fairy has changed the pale yellow hair I still remember, into +those heavy tresses of rich brown, tinged with gold--a hue both exquisite +and rare, which I shall assuredly transfer to my next picture. As for the +eyes, she could not improve them,--so she left them what they still are-- +the finest I have ever seen." + +I opened them a little on hearing him speak so. He quietly took out my +comb; my hair rolled down in waves below my waist; he surveyed it +admiringly, with a glance in which blended the fondness of a father for +his pet child and the ever-observant eye of the artist. + +"A pretty little effect, so," he added, "especially with your startled +look, reminding one of Cervantes' Dorothea." + +"So she does!" said Miss O'Reilly, coming up from behind. + +She kissed her brother, and looking at me as I rose to do up my hair, "It +is like her father's," she added with a subdued sigh, "but not quite so +bright." + +"Why did you never write to me that Daisy was so much improved?" asked +Cornelius, perhaps to divert her thoughts. + +"Because I knew you had eyes of your own to find it out," answered his +sister smiling. "And now don't sit looking at the girl, as if she were a +beauty; she has grown tall and has good health, that is all." + +"All! is not that a great deal?" + +"Of course it is; but I came to tell you breakfast is waiting, and not to +talk about Daisy's looks." + +We went in to breakfast; I sat opposite Cornelius and could scarcely take +my eyes off his face; he could not help smiling now and then, but Miss +O'Reilly chose to be in a pet about it. + +"Don't be foolish, Midge! I wish, Cornelius, you would mind what I say, +instead of paying so much attention to that silly girl. When do you mean +to have that case opened?" + +"In a day or two." + +"Nonsense! you don't think I am going to wait a day or two to see your +pictures? After breakfast you mean?" + +She carried the point as usual, and after breakfast it accordingly was. +As Cornelius drew back the last covering which stood between us and his +picture, I felt my heart beat with expectation; as for Kate, from the +moment it became visible, she was lost in wonder and admiration. The +picture, though not very large, was an elaborate historical performance; +it represented the death of Mary Stuart, with mourning ladies-in-waiting, +knights, pages, executioner and all. + +"How beautiful, how very beautiful!" exclaimed Kate with tears in her +eyes; "what a subject, and how you treated it! But what a pity, what a +mortal pity it was not finished in time for the academy, Cornelius!" + +There was a pause, he stooped and brushed away some dust from Mary +Stuart's face, but never answered. His sister resumed-- + +"Who is that dark-looking fellow in front?" + +"The Earl of Salisbury." + +"Ah! I remember, I knew he could not be good; it is in his face, I assure +you. And who is that girl in the corner?" + +"A looker-on." + +"I knew it!" triumphantly exclaimed Miss O'Reilly, "I knew it by her +unconcerned air. Cornelius, there is wonderful character in it all." + +He did not reply: he was untying the strings of a large portfolio, and +looking over the sketches and drawings it contained. His sister called +him to her side with an air of concern. "Was he sure Mary Stuart had a +velvet robe on? She hoped it was not a mistake. Critics are such harpies, +you know," she added with a sigh, "they would pounce on a mistake +directly." + +He laid his hand on her shoulder, and, with a kind smile, looked down at +her upraised face. + +"Make your mind easy, Kate; Mary Stuart died in a velvet robe, which, +poor thing, she kept for solemn occasions." + +Miss O'Reilly's face brightened. + +"Indeed I am glad to hear it; the imitation is perfect; real velvet could +not have more depth and softness. How much pains you must have taken with +it!" + +"Yes, it gave me some trouble." + +"But how sorry I am, the other pictures are sold!" + +"It could not be helped! I wanted the money." + +"Yes, but it has kept you in the shade all this time. What a pity Mary +Stuart was not finished for this year's Academy!" + +She looked at him so earnestly that he reddened. + +"Cornelius," she continued rather seriously, "why was it not finished for +this year's Academy?" + +Jane spared him the trouble of answering, by looking in, and conveying +the intimation that more luggage had come, and that there was a bill of +one pound ten and elevenpence halfpenny to pay. + +"I wish they may get it!" hotly said Miss O'Reilly; "it is perfectly +shameful; let me manage them, Cornelius, only just come to see whether +they have not changed your luggage for that of some one else. My opinion +is," she added, raising her voice, "that people who charge one pound ten +shillings and elevenpence halfpenny for carriage are capable of +anything." + +He smiled; they went out together, closed the door, and left me alone +with Mary Stuart and my bitter disappointment. I could not understand it; +it was strange, incredible, and yet it was so, I looked and did not +admire. I could have cried with vexation to feel that this stately Mary +Stuart did not touch me; that her sorrowful beauty, the grief of her +weeping women, the insolent scorn of the English nobles, the +impassiveness of the headsman, the commonplace pity of the lookers-on, +actually left me cold and unmoved. And yet thus it was, and the longer I +looked, the worse it grew; so I gave it up in despair, and turned to the +portfolio. + +Sketch after sketch I turned over with a pleasure that gradually grew +into delight. All Italy, in her sunshine and beauty, seemed to pass +before me. Here a dark-eyed girl danced the Tarantella; there swarthy +boys with eager faces played at the morra; beggars held out their hand +for alms with the look and mien of princes; and village women, of a +beauty as calm and pure as that of the image above them, knelt and prayed +before the shrine of some lowly Madonna. Nor was I less charmed by the +glimpses of landscape and out-door life. I felt the warmth of that blue +sky which looked as if the very heavens were opening; the sunshine on the +steps of the white church dazzled me with its brightness; there were +depths of coolness in the dark shade of those old trees beneath which the +women sat reposing; there was life and dewy freshness in the waters of +the stone fountain by which the children played. Charmed and absorbed, I +never heard Cornelius enter, and knew not he was by me until he said in a +careless tone behind me-- + +"Oh! you are looking at these odds and ends." + +"I like them so much," I replied, carefully abstaining from looking +towards Mary Stuart. + +"Do you?" + +"Indeed I do; they are beautiful, and then they remind me of our +Gallery--you remember our Gallery, Cornelius?" + +"Yes, I think I remember something of the kind,--you were an odd little +girl, Daisy." + +"I wish you would explain these sketches to me." + +He sat down by me; leaned one arm on the back of my chair, and, with the +hand that was free, turned over the sketches, giving a few words of brief +but graphic explanation to each. He allowed me to admire them, but made +no comment of his own. At length the pleasant task was ended; Cornelius +rose and put away the portfolio; I was thinking with inward self- +gratulation that he had forgotten all about the picture, when to my +dismay he said very quietly-- + +"Daisy, you have not told me what you think of my Mary Stuart." + +"Have I not?" + +"No, indeed. Whilst Kate was here you looked at it, but never opened your +lips; when I came back, I found you sitting with your back to it, intent +over these sketches, mere foolish trifles, Daisy, with which I relaxed my +mind from graver labours; so pray forget them, look at Mary Stuart, and +give me, without flattery of course, your candid opinion." + +Here was a predicament! I came out with-- + +"A picture of yours cannot but be good, Cornelius." + +"Thank you, Daisy, but that is stating a fact, not giving me your +opinion." + +"I dare not give an opinion." + +"Very modest; but you know whether you like a thing or not; _ergo_, do +you or do you not like Mary Stuart?" + +Oh for a good genius to suggest some reply that might please him and not +violate truth! All I could find was a foolish "Of course not," which +prolonged, but did not elude the difficulty. + +"Do you like it or not?" he repeated. + +I did not reply. + +"A plain yes or no, Daisy." + +"Well, then,--no," I exclaimed, desperately. + +Cornelius whistled. + +"She is grown up," he said; "not like my picture! decidedly she is grown +up! Why, the other one would have admired any daub I painted!" + +Tears of vexation rose to my eyes; he stooped, and smiled in my face. + +"Why should you be annoyed when I am not?" he asked, very kindly. + +"I am mortified at my bad taste, Cornelius." + +"Then since you are conscious of bad taste, why don't you like Mary +Stuart?" + +"I can't help it; I am afraid I have no feeling, for when I look at Mary +Stuart I feel as if I did not care whether they put her to death or not." + +"How hard-hearted you must be! but go on; what else?" + +"Nothing else, Cornelius, save that I fear I don't care about Mary Stuart +at all." + +I looked at him rather shyly; he was laughing. + +"You are as odd a girl as you were an odd child," he said, with his look +bent on my face; "why, Daisy, that is just my case; I did not care about +Mary Stuart whilst I painted her, and, poor thing! I don't care much +about her now." + +"Don't you, Cornelius?" I asked, astonished. + +"No, history may be a fine, grand thing, but give me lowly beings and +quiet feelings. Oh! Daisy, I wonder now that disappointed ambition ever +made me bend the knee to the false goddess, success, who moreover always +leaves me in the lurch; but our life is made up of mistakes; we stumble +at every step, and the last thing we learn is to be true to ourselves." + +"Were your other pictures like this, Cornelius?" + +"Oh, Daisy, they were such charming things." he replied, sighing; "but +Count Morsikoff wanted them, I wanted his rubles; but, never mind, I +shall repeat them, and show Kate that my journey to Italy has not been +quite lost." + +"Why did you let her admire Mary Stuart?" + +"How could I undeceive her? I had brought the unfortunate thing as a +proof of my industry, not to encumber the walls of the Academy, or for +her to admire; but when she looked at it with tears of admiration, what +was I to do?" + +"To show her the sketches." + +"She won't care about them, Daisy." + +"Try her." + +I opened the door, and called her in eagerly. But the event proved the +correctness of her brother's conjecture. Miss O'Reilly thought the +sketches very pretty things, but she hoped Cornelius had not lost too +much time with them. It would be such a pity, considering how admirably +fitted he was for historical compositions. He winced, but did not +contradict. She proceeded-- + +"I have been thinking of such a series of subjects: what do you say to +the battle of Clontarf, or to Bannockburn? something to make one feel as +if that grand lyric of Burns were being sung in the distance." + +Cornelius stroked his chin and looked puzzled. + +She resumed: "Perhaps you would like a subject more pathetic,--The +Children in the Tower, eh, Cornelius?" + +"I have been thinking of something more domestic." + +Kate's face expressed the deepest disappointment. + +"History is a grand thing, Cornelius." + +"And Home is lovely." + +She said he knew best, but that he would never surpass Mary Stuart. + +Cornelius did not reply, and put away the portfolio with a smile at me. +Then we all three went out into the garden, where we lingered until the +noon-day heat sent us in: that is to say, Kate and I, for Cornelius, +accustomed to an Italian sun, remained out, walking up and down the +gravel path, and every now and then making long pauses of rest by the +back parlour window, near which we sat sewing. Once Kate, called away by +some domestic concern, left us; he stood on the side facing me, his elbow +resting on the low window; he looked long, then smiled. + +"Well!" I said. + +"Well," he replied, "it would make a pretty picture; you sitting there +sewing by the window, with the cool shady back-ground of the room, a +glimpse of the bright sunny garden beyond." + +"And you standing there looking in, leaning on the window-sill, and the +warm sunshine upon you, Cornelius." + +"Yes," said the pleasant voice of Kate, now coming in, "that would +complete the picture." Then she suddenly added, "Cornelius, are you not +tired?" + +"Not at all; I rested in London, you know." + +"Go and take a walk then." + +"What for, Kate?" + +"Go out sketching." + +"I feel very comfortable here." + +"Go, I tell you; Daisy will show you the way; she knows Leigh by heart, +and, for England, it is pretty enough." + +Cornelius looked at me and I looked at Kate. She smoothed my hair and +answered the look: "No, child, I can't go; bless you, my hands are full +of domestic concerns, so make haste and get ready. Stay, I shall go with +you." + +She accompanied me to my room, opened my drawers and drew forth a white +muslin frock. + +"Put that on," she said; "do not open your eyes, but do as I bid you." + +"If we walk in the grass--" I began. + +"You will soil it,--what matter?" + +"But why put it on? it is my best." + +"Bless the child! don't you see that I tell you to put it on because it +is your best, or rather because you look best in it? Don't be dull, +Midge, I want Cornelius to like you and your looks too." + +There was no resisting an argument so plainly stated. Still when Kate +went down on some mysterious errand into the kitchen, and I hastened to +the parlour with my scarf on my arm and my bonnet in my hand, in order +not to keep Cornelius waiting, I was under a nervous apprehension that he +would think me very vain and fond of dress. He did look at me, and very +fixedly too. I exclaimed, deprecatingly-- + +"I knew you would think it odd to go and put on a white dress for a walk +in the country, but Kate would have it so." + +He laughed, and gave me an amused look. + +"What a strange girl you are, Daisy! I never noticed your dress. I was +studying the effect of that bright sunlight on your hair, and thinking +how it made it look more rich and deep than the hues Titian loved to +paint." + +It was my turn to laugh. + +"How like an artist, to be always thinking of effects!" + +"Now don't stand giggling and chatting there," said Miss O'Reilly, +appearing with an ample provision of sandwiches neatly packed up, "but go +out whilst the day is still pleasant. Cornelius, take these; you are to +stay out the whole day. Daisy, why don't you take his arm? you are tall +enough for that now." + +He held out his arm for me with a smile, and as I took it and looked up +into his face, I felt a proud and happy girl. The time had been when the +hand of Cornelius was as much as I could claim, and I longed in vain for +the present privilege and honour. + +We left Rock Cottage by the garden gate. As we walked arm in arm down the +path that led to the beach, I saw Miss O'Reilly stand on the door-step, +and, shading her eyes with her hand, look after us, until the winding of +the path concealed us from her sight. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +We went down to the beach. A deep line of shade still extended at the +foot of the cliffs; the sky had not a cloud; the sea lay calm beneath; it +looked one of Nature's happy days. I said so to Cornelius, adding, in the +fulness of my joy, "How kind of Kate to tell you to take me!" + +"Yes," he replied, wilfully misunderstanding me, "she always was a good +sister." + +"Now, Cornelius, you know very well she did it to please me." + +He smiled without looking at me. + +"One to please you, Daisy, and a great deal more to please me. You will +ascertain it thus: state that D is to C in K's estimation, what 1 is to +_x_ in figures: then multiply by C (that's me) and divide by D (that's +you), and you will know all about it." + +"I don't want to multiply by you and to divide by myself, to know why +Kate told you to take me." + +"She's as obstinate as the other one," said Cornelius, stopping short to +look at me. + +I replied, "Is she?" and we went on, until a promontory of steep rock +barred our passage. + +"We must cross that," I said. + +"Humph! Can you manage it, Daisy?" + +"Can you, Cornelius?" + +He told me I was very saucy. I laughed and ran up the rocks so fast, he +could scarcely overtake me. When we reached the highest peak, we stood +still, and thence looked down on a wild narrow spot below, shut in +between cliff and wave. Long ridges of sharp rocks, stretching out far +into the sea, and impassable when the tide was full, enclosed it on +either side. The cliffs at the back stood steep and perpendicular within +a few yards of the breaking surf, but the strata of earth that ran +through them in slant and undulating lines, gave them a distant and +receding aspect, which, like the glamour of enchantment, vanished with a +closer view; then they suddenly rose on the eye, near, stern, and +threatening. Undermined by the high spring tides, rocks had fallen from +above, and now lay thickly strewn about the beach, as if tossed there by +the sea in angry or sportive mood. From the deep gap thus made in the +cliff descended a narrow stream, which spread on a flat advancing ledge +of rock, fell again a wide and clear stream of sparkling water, into a +basin which itself had made, and thence glided away with a low splash and +faint murmur, through worn-out old stones green with slime, until it lost +itself for ever in the great rush of the wide waters. + +We descended silently; when we stood within the enclosed space, Cornelius +said-- + +"Of all wild and barren spots this is the gem." + +"It is sterile, Cornelius, and that is its beauty." + +It was indeed a desolate place. Shell-fish in serried ranks, and weeds in +dark and slippery masses, clung to the sea-washed rocks. A few crabs and +shrimps had remained captive in the shallow pools of water, where they +waited the returning tide. Long algae, all wet and tangled, and light +feathery sprigs, delicate enough to be wreathed in the green hair of pale +mermaids, were strewn on the beach, but other tokens of life and +vegetation there were none. The sea breeze, which moaned along that wall +of rock and cliff, fanned and stirred not one blade of yellowish grass on +its way. Here ceased the freshness and verdure of earth; here began a +nature other than that of the poets, yet not without its own beauty, +contrasts, and harmonies. + +"It is grand, but wonderfully dreary," said Cornelius, "let us go back, +Daisy." + +"Not yet. Do you see that hollow nook perched up there between earth and +sky, close by the fountain?" + +"Well, what about it?" + +"There is a very fine prospect from it." + +"How do you know?" + +"I often go there." + +"You!" he exclaimed, with an astonished look that amused me, "and pray +how do you get there?" + +"Look!" + +I sprang up a steep path in the rock; every step of it was familiar to +me; I had reached the hollow, and was laughing down at Cornelius, before +he recovered from his amazement. He followed me lightly, but chid me all +the way. + +"What could tempt you to do such a mad thing and to come to such an eyrie +as this?" he asked as he stood by me in the wide hollow and under the +broad shelter of an overhanging rock. + +"Look at that glorious prospect, Cornelius," I replied, sitting down and +making him sit down by me. + +I remember well both the day and the spot. The blue sky, the sea of a +blue still more deep, the yellow beach, the brown wall of rock, gave back +the same ardent glow; the place seemed enchanted into the quietness of +noon, save when some solitary raven suddenly left a cleft in the rock +and, descending with a swoop, hovered a black speck over the beach in +search of prey. We sat pleasantly within reach of the cool spray of the +spring; a breeze from above brought us the sweet scent of unseen fields +of gorse in bloom; below us the sea boiled in white and angry surf +amongst the rocks, and thence spread away in seemingly unbroken +smoothness, until it met and mingled with the distant horizon. + +"What do you think of my eyrie, Cornelius?" I said, after a long pause. + +"So you come here often?" was his reply. + +"Yes, very often." + +"What can attract you to such a wild spot?" + +"Its wildness." + +He looked me in the face and smiled. I resumed-- + +"I was born by the sea, Cornelius, and I love it, ay, very dearly; this +barren spot seems pleasanter to me than any sunny landscape. I could +listen for hours to the wind sweeping down the coast and the dash of the +heaving waves. Could not you?" + +"No," he answered, frankly, "sea-side is to me the grand historic style +of nature. I like the calm, homely woodlands and quiet valleys." + +"Yes, but you are going to sketch that little fall of water?" + +"Am I?" + +"For what else did I bring you to see it? Let me go down first, and take +my hand." + +I held it out to him; he tossed it back to me with a laugh. + +"Do you imagine I want it?" he asked, looking piqued; "I have gone +sketching in mountain-passes where there were paths more steep than in +any English Leigh, let me tell you." + +He insisted on preceding me. It amazed me to see how he kept looking +back, looking to my steps. He reached the bottom first, and stood still +to receive me. Spite of his remonstrative "Daisy!" I ran down the rest of +the way. I paused on reaching the last ledge, and standing a little above +him, I uttered a triumphant "There!" then lightly stepped down to where +he stood. + +"Yes," he replied admiringly, "I see: your head is steady, your foot as +light and sure as that of any mountain maid. Ah! if I had but had you for +a companion, when I was sketching alone in the Alps!" + +"Will you have me now, and though these are not the Alps, sketch." + +He sat down on one of the fallen rocks, opened his sketch-book, and began +to draw the little fountain and the stern crags around. I sat by him to +watch his progress; he made little; he was ever looking round at me, and +breaking off into speech that had nothing to do with sketching. + +"How old are you?" he once asked. + +"Seventeen; ten years younger than you are." + +He resumed his task, but his pencil was soon idle again; his eyes once +more sought my face. + +"Am I too near?" said I, "shall I sit behind?" + +"No, indeed." + +"What are you thinking of?" + +"I am thinking that it is getting very hot." + +His look sought the downs above. I said, I knew green nooks such as he +would like. So we wound our way up the heights, and were soon in the open +country. The scenery around Leigh was soft, woodland, pastoral, and no +more. Yet Cornelius seemed to like those green slopes, fertile fields, +and wide pastures; those shallow valleys, white homesteads, and fragrant +orchards looking down from above, with now and then, in the open space +between the dark outskirt of low woodland, and the golden green of sunlit +scope opposite, a glimpse of azure hills melting soft and indistinct on +the far horizon. But though he confessed it was very pretty, he found +nothing to sketch. + +"Let me take you to an old ruin further on," I said, zealously, "it is so +picturesque!" + +"How much further on, Daisy?" + +"Only three or four miles." + +"A mere trifle! but suppose we stay here?" + +We stood in a hollow, sheltered by a few stunted trees. + +"There is nothing to sketch here," I said. + +"So much the better; I want rest." + +"Then I know of a better resting-place close by." + +He submitted to my guidance, and I led him into an open plain, exposed to +all the heat of a burning sun. + +"Why, Daisy," said Cornelius, looking round, "what made you come here? +There is not a hedge: no, not so much as a poor little bush. Let us go +back." + +I pointed to a group of trees, partly hidden by a rising of the ground. + +"It is there," I said. + +He gave a look of regret to the shady hollow we were leaving behind us, +and followed me over the scorching plain. At length the group of trees +was reached. I entered it first; then, as he followed, I turned round and +looked to enjoy his surprise, for we now stood on the grassy banks of the +clear little stream which passed through Leigh; trees flung their shadow +above; waters flowed beneath; silence and freshness filled the whole +place. + +"Well!" I said triumphantly. + +"Well," he replied, "it is a pleasant place, that is true enough." + +And he threw himself down on the grass with evident delight. It was a +pleasant place. Many a day has passed since I beheld it; yet if I but +close my eyes with my hand over them, I seem to see it again as I saw it +then on that summer noon, when I went out walking with Cornelius. + +It had the first charm which such a spot need have--perfect solitude. You +might sit or linger for hours, unheeded and undisturbed in that green +nook, shut in between the dark mass of trees which separated it from the +open country, and the stream on which their heavy shadow ever fell. +Beyond extended a wide and ancient park, a wild-looking desert of dark +heath and high green fern, with sombre groups of trees that seemed the +vanguards of aged forests, and paths deepening down like Alpine dells and +ravines. I took off my bonnet and scarf, and fastening them to the +bending branch of an old, hoary willow, I sat down by Cornelius. The +sandwiches were produced, and done full justice to; but when the repast +was over, Cornelius exclaimed-- + +"Kate might as well have given us a stone or osier bottle of some sort. +We have nothing to drink." + +"Nothing! why there is a whole river." + +"Water!" he replied with a slight grimace; "but how are we to get at even +that?" + +I did not answer, but clasping the trunk of the willow with one arm, I +bent over the stream to dip my other hand into it. With a start of alarm +Cornelius held me back. + +"That river, as you call it, is deep and swift, Daisy. How can you be so +imprudent?" + +"There is no danger where there is no fear. Unless that willow-tree +breaks I am safe." + +He persisted however in holding me fast with his arm passed around me, as +I stooped again, and brought forth my hand full of water, as clear and +sparkling as crystal. + +"Look!" I said, "and tell me if you ever saw such water, even in Italy?" + +"The true test lies in the taste." + +He raised my hand to his lips, drank the little it contained, then said +with a smile-- + +"Rather a shallow cup, Daisy." + +"Well, but did you ever taste such water?" + +"Never--it is as exquisite--" + +"I told you so." + +"As exquisite as water can be, which is not saying much." + +Necessity however compelled him to have more of it; he brought it up +himself, for he positively refused to let me try again. Our meal being +now fairly over, I wanted him to indulge in a siesta, a habit which he +acknowledged having taken during the hot noons of Italy; but he would +not. + +"I do not feel in the least inclined for it, Daisy; pleasant though it +may be to sleep away here an hour or two, I fancy it must be more +pleasant still to lie awake and dream." + +It was indeed the very place for day-dreams. It lay in a gentle curve of +the stream, and far as the eye might look it could see above nothing but +the overhanging branches of old and majestic trees, with sudden glimpses +of bright blue sky, and below the same trees and sky ever imaged again in +glassy depths. The reflection was so distinct and vivid that the water +almost seemed to flow between two forest solitudes, one above the other +beneath the wave, but both beautiful, wild, and lonely, and yielding the +same delightful sense of coolness which shade and water always give. + +In the park beyond the sun shone with burning heat, and even the blue sky +had caught a golden glow; but here the breeze was pleasantly chill, the +trees sheltered us from its strength, and left us all its vivifying +freshness. It came every now and then, sending through my veins a thrill +of vague delight, for earth has many sounds and murmuring voices which +are to me a part of her beauty, and it woke them every one. The rustling +of leaves in the trees above blended with the faint ripple of the flowing +waters below; birds broke forth into snatches of song, or flew away with +flapping of wings; then there were strange undefined sounds of short +twittering, low monotonous hum, and sudden splash mingling into nothing +continuous, ever interrupted and ever renewed, faint, indistinct, but +soft and soothing as a dream. + +And as I sat at the foot of the old willow, half bending forward and +looking at the stream which flowed almost beneath me, so steep was the +bank, and so near the edge did I sit, I felt as if its scarcely audible +murmur, as if its scarcely visible flow, were slowly wrapping me in a +dream of bliss. I was steeped in happiness; it was sweet, it was +delightful to know that Cornelius was come back, that he was sitting +there by me. I did not look at him; there was no need. Besides, strangely +enough, it seemed more pleasant by far to feel his presence in my heart, +than to gaze on him for hours with my eyes. He had been two long years +away--severed by the sea, by Alps, by strange skies, strange lands, +strange languages, and now, if I wished, I had but to put forth my hand +to touch him as he sat by me beneath the same shade, gazing on the same +clear brook. How he felt I know not; but I know that gradually my reverie +deepened, until at length external objects seemed to fade away, and I +remained sitting there gazing at the dark water, and fully conscious but +of two things--the presence of Cornelius, and the low gliding of the +stream. Happy day!--happy moments! I felt as if I could have sat there, +even as the waters flowed--for ever. + +The sound of a tramp, swift and light, on the heath of the park, made me +look up; a herd of deer, with heads erect and startled looks, were +floating past like a vision. They vanished down a beaten track leading to +some favourite haunt. I looked at Cornelius, and smiled; but he had +heard, he had seen nothing. He sat by me on the grassy bank, half-leaning +on one elbow; his brow rested on the palm of his hand; his dark and heavy +hair partly shaded his face. I followed the direction of his glance; it +was fixed on the stream, not with abstracted or dreamy gaze, but as if +beholding something there that charmed attention irresistibly. I looked +down rather curiously, and saw nothing, save my own face reflected in the +placid wave, and seeming, Oread-like to bend forth from a background of +dark foliage. He detected my change of attitude, for he looked up +immediately. I laughed, and said-- + +"I know what you were doing, Cornelius." + +He did not answer. + +"You were studying 'effects' again." + +"Precisely," he replied, smiling; "effects of light and shadow." + +"Are you always studying effects, Cornelius?" + +"Whenever I can get them. To look is the delight, ay, the very life, of +an artist." + +The words awoke within me a train of thoughts that made my heart beat and +my blood flow with a warmer glow. I could not keep silent. I looked up +and said-- + +"Oh! Cornelius, what a great painter you will yet be! How much fame and +honour await you! Well, why do you smile so?" I added, somewhat annoyed: +"is it not true?" + +"Because, as you speak, your cheeks flush, and your eyes kindle. You look +like a young sybil just now, Daisy." + +"A sybil in white muslin!" I replied, laughing in his face; but +remembering how disrespectful this was, I became suddenly grave again. He +seemed anything but offended, and listened like one whose ear has caught +a pleasant sound. + +"Do you know," he said, "I think this is the first time I ever heard you +laugh outright. I remember your smile, but not your laugh. Oh, Daisy, are +you sure you are the same? When I hear your voice, I think of my pale, +sickly child. When I look, I am perplexed to see a tall, slender girl-- +fair as a lily, fresh as a rose, demure as a young Quakeress, yet who +looks kindly at me, like an old acquaintance. Speak!--say something that +will throw a sort of bridge from the past to the present." + +"The only bridge I can give you is, that you have been two years away; +that I am now always well, instead of being always ill; and that, as I +began at the wrong end, by being dull as a child, I now mean to make up +for the lost time by being as merry and as mad as I can." + +"How old are you?" + +"You have already asked me. Subtract ten years from your own age and you +will know." + +"What is ten years?" + +"A mere trifle, like the walk awhile ago." + +"Then in another year you will be eighteen." + +"And you twenty-eight." + +"You are very tenacious of that ten years' difference," he said a little +impatiently. "What is age--any one's age? I don't care about yours; all I +care about," he said smiling, "is to find you so changed from what you +were." + +"In one or two things I certainly am changed, as you will perceive, if +you close your eyes and promise not to look." + +"Why so?" + +I would not tell him, so he complied, looking rather curious. I rose so +softly that he could not hear me; the stream was neither wide nor deep; +besides at this spot it suddenly grew narrower; I lightly sprang over; as +I alighted safely I said-- + +"You may look now." + +He turned pale on seeing me on the other bank. + +"Daisy," he cried, "how could you do such a thing!" + +"Could you not do it, Cornelius? it really is not so difficult. Try." + +He refused, and said he was very angry. I laughed. + +"No, Cornelius," I said, "I see in your face you are only surprised. I +mean to astonish you still more; you said you had never heard me laugh, I +am at least certain that you never heard me sing. Pray open your ears, +for I mean to sing you a song." + +I sat down in the high ferns, so high that they almost hid me, and I sang +him the song of her who loved the lad at the sign of the Blue Bell. He +heard me, his chin in his hand, his look on my face; seeing me so +fearless, his own uneasiness had vanished. + +"Well!" I said. + +"Well," he replied, smiling, "it is as wild and sweet a ditty and as +pleasant a voice as one need wish to hear on a summer noon. Sing me +something else." + +"No, it is your turn now." + +He lay down at the foot of the willow, and in his clear rich voice, he +sang me that pleasant song of Burns--it had always been a favourite of +his--of which the burden is 'Bonnie lassie, will ye go to the birks of +Aberfeldy?' + +I listened, thinking how delightful it was to hear that voice again. When +its last tones had died away, I thanked him, and said-- + +"This is not Aberfeldy, but we have the birks." + +"And the bonnie lassie too." + +"To be sure; but will you just move a bit?" + +"Why so?" + +"I want to get back again, and the spot where you are lying is the only +convenient one." + +"Thank you for the information. I was wondering what sort of punishment I +could devise for you: it is now settled; you shall stay there." + +"And be taken up for trespassing?" + +"Why not?" + +"Or for poaching?" + +"Why not?" + +At length he relented, but said I was to sing him another song; then +another, and so on, until I had sung him every song and ballad I knew. +The intervals of rest were filled up with talking, laughing, and jesting +at one another across the stream. I had never felt so merry, seldom so +happy; yet once I could not help observing remorsefully-- + +"And Kate, who is alone at home, and thinks you are so busy sketching!" + +"Why did she make me take you with me?" + +"Do I prevent you from sketching, Cornelius?" + +"Of course you do; but for you I should have travelled for miles, and +come home at night groaning beneath the load of crags, lonely fountains, +cottages, farm-houses, snug little woods, ruins, etc. Instead of which, +here I am lying on my back, looking up at trees and sky, and losing all +my precious time in listening to 'Auld Robin Gray,' 'The Exile of Erin,' +'Charlie, you're my darling,' and I know not what else. Oh, Daisy, Daisy! +are you not ashamed of yourself?--sing me another song." + +"Indeed, Cornelius, I do not know another." + +"Then I must have mercy on you." + +He moved away, but kept a keen, watchful look fastened on me. There was +however no need to fear. In a second I was by his side. He chid me for +form's sake, then smiled, stroked my hair, and passing his arm around me, +said-- + +"The other one could not have done as much, could she, Daisy?" + +"What other one, Cornelius?" + +"The one I carried in my arms from Leigh to Ryde." + +"No, Cornelius, she could not, and that was why Providence sent her so +kind a friend." + +I forget his answer, but I remember that we sat again on the grassy banks +and lingered there until the little brook shone red and burning in the +light of the broad round sun that slowly sank down behind us, filling +with fiery glow the space between earth and sky. + +Oh! surely it was a lovely thought in the worshippers of southern lands, +to link an act of prayer with the close of day and the setting of the +sun. If ever there was an hour for thanksgiving, praise, and adoration, +it was this. When should we, poor travellers towards the dark goal of +time, find fitter moment to pause, take breath after the journeying of +another day, and give a look back to the past, a hope to the future, an +aspiration to heaven? At that moment meet, to part almost as soon as met, +the splendour and beauty of the day and the soothing solemnity of eve. We +can give thanks at once for the gladness that is going, and for the +silent rest of coming night. It is the very time for intense and brief +worship; for aspiration purer than prayer; for the _Sursum corda_. I did +raise my heart in that hour. Was the word too earthly? I know not; God +who gave us hearts that love so warmly alone can tell; but as I sat there +by Cornelius, my head, in attitude familiar of old, resting on his +shoulder, I thanked Him who had given him to me, for the gift, and +blessed Him who had sent him back for the return. + +At length we rose, and left the spot where half a day had passed in +enjoyment so pure. We followed a green path where we met, and soon +outstripped a friendly couple whom we left, slowly lingering in the cool +shadow of the winding lane. They looked like lovers, or a newly married +pair--young, happy, oblivious of time, and heeding not the passing of +hours. Cornelius gave them a stealthy look, and repressed a half smile. I +smiled without disguise, for in the gladness of my heart I thought--"the +lady may be fair, and the lover may be devoted, but she cannot be more +happy than I am now--to feel within mine the arm of Cornelius; and sure +am I, that he whom she seems to like so well, is not half so good, ay, +nor half so handsome, as he who reared me." + +And thus, arm-in-arm, we walked on through landscape scenes that would +have gladdened the genial heart of Rubens. The warmth of the setting sun, +the rich verdure of the undulating plains, the herds of fair cattle +grazing by the green banks and full waters of a calm river, made one feel +as if gazing on a land of untroubled peace and untold abundance. + +But, oh! how glorious o'er the sea, was the hour thus beautiful on land. +We reached the extremity of the downs as the sun began to dip in the +broad ocean. Blue, green, purple, and burning gold glanced through every +wave; the receding coast slowly vanished through glittering mists; the +masts of distant ships rose on the golden horizon like the turreted +castle of some enchanted region. As we descended a winding path that +gently led to the beach, the sun set and the glorious pageantry suddenly +vanished. The first pale stars glittered from the depths of the grey sky; +the sea looked of a darker and colder blue, and returned to her +fathomless bed with a faint murmur; a chill breeze rose, swept along the +coast, then died away again; on all things silence set, and the high arch +of heaven rose deep and solemn over the plain of the receding sea. Oh! +brief life of ours, how beautiful is thy dwelling-place! How deeply did I +then feel in my heart, the presence of that Great Spirit which broods +over and hallows all it has given to the eye of man to scan! + +We silently walked homeward along the beach, now grey, quiet, and lonely. +A low, large moon hung over the silent downs, from which even the +melancholy cry of the plover had died away. Everything seemed subdued to +repose, and even in the low rush of the breaking waves, as they rose and +fell ever again on the shore, there was a murmur inexpressibly soft and +soothing to the ear. We did not speak until we reached the foot of the +cliff on which Rock Cottage rose. A light burned in one of the windows +and spoke of pleasant welcome. Cornelius looked up and said-- + +"It is a wild-looking place, quite an eagle's nest, and yet there is a +strange sense of home about it." + +We went up the path, and found the little wooden gate unlocked as usual. +Miss O'Reilly came out to meet us, with a shawl thrown over her head. She +seized on her brother; I slipped away to my room. When I came down again, +in the grey dress after all, I found Kate presiding over a tea-table +covered with provisions sufficient for a whole legion of famished +travellers, and Cornelius laughing at the extent of her preparations. +When the meal was over she took up his sketch-book. + +"Oh, Kate!" I cried, "don't look--it is such a shame--he would not sketch +at all; he began the little fountain and did not even finish it. Is it +not too bad?" + +She sat with the open sketch-book on her lap, but looking at us with a +pleased, happy smile. + +"Yes," she said at length, "it is a shame--but he will do better to- +morrow." + +"Must we go out again to-morrow, Kate?" I asked, a little hesitatingly. + +"To be sure you must--that is, if you both liked it to-day well enough to +wish to begin again." + +I sat by him--he looked down--I looked up, and we exchanged a conscious +smile. + +"Yes," he said, laying his hand on my head; "I think we both found it a +pleasant day." + +"Delightful, Cornelius, delightful!" I exclaimed, with a warmth that made +Kate smile, brought a transient glow to his brow, and won me a tacit and +quiet pressure of the hand that was free. I only spoke as I felt. +Pleasant days I had known before and was to know again, but none in +which, oblivious of the past and heedless of the future, I surrendered +myself so freely to the charm of the present time. I laid it all to the +return of Cornelius. I had yet to learn from experience that this +singleness of enjoyment, this simplicity in receiving happiness, belong +almost exclusively to the pleasant season of youth, and--pity that it +should be so--only to its first fresh untroubled hours, before the coming +of grief or the wakening of passion. + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + + +How pleasant is the privilege, so little valued, because it is so common, +of living in one home with those we love. Life has few things more true +or more deep, and holds forth no promises more delightful. To sleep +beneath the shelter of the same roof, to meet morn, noon and evening at +the same board, to converse familiarly by the same fireside, to share the +same sorrows and pleasures, is the ideal of those who love, whatever name +their affection may take. The imagination of lovers themselves--and yet +what can they not imagine?--has never gone beyond this. After all the +trials, temptations and griefs, which may have beset their path, the +magic hope of their future is still: one home. + +Of one part of this happiness, we may be fully conscious, but another we +seldom feel, unless after long separation; even as we know that life is +sweet, yet rarely pause and stand still to enjoy its sweetness, so though +we are well aware of the happiness of union, we sometimes forget to be +happy. Too often do we accept the presence of those we love best, as we +receive sunshine and our daily bread; wants of our nature fulfilled. + +I rejoiced in the return of Cornelius with an eager delight I never +strove to hide, and which he seemed to share. To hear his step, his +voice, his laughter about the house; to meet him daily, and out or within +to be constantly near him, was now my happy fate. Twice Miss O'Reilly +accompanied us in our long daily walks; but the rest of the time she +found some excuse to stay within, and we went out alone. That we should +do so, gave her a degree of satisfaction I could not quite make out; but +which I could not help perceiving. As I sat alone sewing one morning in +the back parlour, Cornelius came, and leaning on the back of my chair, +said: + +"Where shall we go to-day?" + +"Indeed, Cornelius," I replied, gravely, "I cannot always be going out +with you, and leaving Kate alone." + +"Kate is very fond of solitude," was his calm answer. + +"Yes, but she might think it selfish." + +The entrance of Kate interrupted the remark. + +"The morning is getting very hot," she said, looking at her brother. + +"Yes," he carelessly answered, "therefore I shall go out before the heat +of the day." + +"Quite right." + +"I shall even go now." + +"Of course, but what else?" + +"What else?" + +"Yes; do you not take Daisy with you?" + +"If you can spare her." + +"Of course I can," replied Kate, whose clouded face immediately +brightened, "child, why are you not ready?" + +What could I do but comply, and again go out walking with Cornelius? I +resolved, however, that it should not be so on the following day. I +declined accompanying him, giving him my reason, to which he submitted +with a silent smile. I even managed to send him off without the knowledge +of his sister. He had not long been gone when she came up from the +kitchen where she had been engaged. She gave a rapid look round the room, +and said hastily: + +"Where is Cornelius?" + +"He is gone out sketching, Kate," I replied without looking up from my +work. + +"Why did not you go with him?" + +I did not answer. + +"Did he not ask you?" + +"I did not like to leave you." + +"Did he ask you?" + +"Yes, he did." + +"Do you know where he is?" + +"He said he would go down the beach." + +"Well, then, put on your bonnet and be off." + +I remonstrated, but she was peremptory. I felt the kindness hidden +beneath her imperative ways, and, as I rose and passed by her, I could +not help giving her a kiss, and saying: + +"How good you are, Kate." + +"And how foolish you and he are," she replied, smiling, "not to make the +most of this good time." + +"Why, Kate, we have a whole summer before us, and with it I trust, plenty +of fine weather." + +She told me not to stand dallying there; in a few minutes I was ready, +and running down the path that led to the sands. To my surprise, I found +Cornelius quietly sitting on a rock at the base of a cliff, and smoking a +cigar. He rose on seeing me, came to meet me, and as he took my arm, +said: + +"How long you were." + +"Did you expect me?" + +"Of course I did." + +"But you could not know Kate would send me?" + +"But I could guess it." + +"And if she had not sent me, Cornelius?" + +"I should have gone to fetch you." + +"Then it seems it is quite a settled matter that I must go out with you +every day?" + +Cornelius stopped short, and looking at me, said earnestly: + +"Do you object, Daisy?" + +"Ah," I replied, with a remorseful sigh, "you know very well I only like +it too much." + +He smiled, and we walked on. There were woods about Leigh, and I took him +to one, where we lingered, until its glades and avenues, instead of a +golden light pouring in from above through the green foliage, were lit up +from beneath by the long, red streaks, of a low, setting sun. As I write, +there rises before me a vision of a mossy dell, low sunk down and +overshadowed by three wide-spreading oaks, beneath which Cornelius and I +sat during the still and burning hours of noon. There was little +sketching, yet what we said and of what we conversed I know not now. But +memory will sometimes keep the aspects of outward nature, when that which +impressed them on the mind has faded away and is lost for ever. I had +often seen that wood before, but on no day do I seem to have felt so much +the calm of its silence, the freshness of its deep shadow, the sweetness +of its many murmurs, ever rising from unknown depths, and dying away +again as mysteriously as they had awakened. Never do I seem to have +breathed in with so much delight, that wild forest fragrance sweeter than +the perfumes of any garden. + +Thus passed not merely that day, but many other days, of which I remember +still less. There is always something vague and dreamy in the memory of +happiness. Seen from afar, that time is like a sunny landscape, beheld +through light and warmth. Dazzled and enchanted, you scarcely know what +the passing hour was like, and scarcely remember afterwards what it has +been; all that remains is a warm, golden hue cast over all things, and +such to me was then in the present, and is in memory, the presence of +Cornelius. + +At the end of a delightful fortnight, I wakened to the consciousness +that, though Cornelius went out sketching daily, he sketched very little; +and that the two rainy days we had been obliged to spend at home, had +been devoted to the task of teaching me Italian, and to nothing else. The +little back parlour had been destined, by Kate, to be her brother's +studio; but though Mary Stuart stood there, with her face turned to the +wall, there came no intimation of a successor to this hapless lady. +"Decidedly," I thought, "things cannot go on so." Accordingly, the +morning, when, after breakfast, Cornelius stepped up to me, and said: + +"Where is it to be to-day?" + +I put on a grave face, and replied: + +"I must stay at home to-day, Cornelius. I cannot leave everything to +Kate, you know." + +"Very true," answered he, submissively. + +"Therefore, whilst you are out sketching, I shall just sit here in the +window, with work-box and work-basket, and make up for lost time." + +Before I knew what be was about, the chair was in the window, and near it +stood the work-box and work-basket. I felt a little confused at his +civility, for which I was, however, going to thank him, when I saw him +draw a chair near mine. + +"Are you not going out?" I asked. + +"No," he quietly replied, and sat down by me. I worked in perfect +silence. He sat, with his elbow resting on the back of my chair, and his +eyes following the motion of my darning-needle, handing me my scissors +when I wanted them, and picking up my thimble, which fell once or twice. +I thought he would get tired of this, but he did not. At length, unable +to keep in, I looked up, and said: + +"Do you not feel dull, Cornelius?" + +"Not at all," he replied, smiling. "I had no idea that to watch the +darning of stockings was so entertaining." + +As to entertain Cornelius was, by no means, my object, I quietly put by +my work, and went up to my room. I had not been there half an hour, when +I heard a low tap at my door. I guessed from whom it came, and did not +answer it any more than the cough, and the low "Daisy!" which followed. +He waited a while, then went down. In a few minutes, Kate entered my +room. + +"Child," she said, "what keeps you here? Cornelius has just found his way +to the kitchen, to inform me that you had vanished, and that he felt +morally certain you were unwell." + +"I am quite well," I replied, gravely; "but, as you see, particularly +engaged in airing my things, for fear of the moths." + +"Make haste, then, for he is fidgeting in the front parlour." + +"Indeed," I thought, "he may fidget. I am not going to make him lose all +his time." + +Instead, therefore, of joining him, when my task was done, I quietly +slipped down to the garden; but I had scarcely sat down on the bench +beneath the pine trees, when Cornelius came, and settled himself by me. I +seemed intent on my crochet; but, as this produced no effect, I rose, and +composedly observed the sun was very hot. + +"Burning!" replied Cornelius, rising too. + +We went in. The front parlour faced the east, and was as warm as the +garden; the back parlour, on the contrary, looked cool and shady. +Cornelius quietly brought in my work-basket and work-box, placed a chair +for me by the open window, another chair for himself, near mine, then +closed the door, and smiled at me. + +"Yes," I thought, as I sat down, "I am caught; but, since you have such a +relish for my company, you shall even hear a bit of my mind." + +I sat darning my stockings, and meditating how to bring this about, when +Cornelius observed, with a touch of impatience: + +"Am I to see only your side face to-day?" + +"Do you object to my side face?" I gravely asked. + +"Oh, no!" he hastily replied. "It is a very charming profile; and I was +thinking, just now, how well it would look on a medal or ancient coin." + +"And why not on a modern coin, as well as on an ancient one?" + +"With the legend, Daisy Regina, &c," he answered, smiling. + +"Do you mean to imply I could not grace a throne, and bear a sceptre?" + +"Heaven forbid; but I wonder what History would say of Queen Daisy!" + +I looked up to answer calmly: + +"History would despatch her with a few more &cs., Cornelius; such as: +'The most obscure of our long line of sovereigns, &c. Instead of +emulating the Elizabeths and the Catherines, &c. Although with the +intellectual mediocrity of her sex, &c. Her reign was nevertheless +illustrated by a certain Irish artist, &c, &c.'" + +"The Irish artist respectfully kisses her Majesty's hand," said +Cornelius, raising my hand to his lips with mock homage; "he ventures to +hope that, spite of the distance of rank, something like friendship +existed between him and Queen Daisy." + +He still held my hand in his; encouraged by the friendly kindness of the +clasp, I replied: + +"So much friendship that, on one propitious occasion, Queen Daisy +ventured to remind her friend that time was passing fast, and his fame +yet to win." + +Cornelius dropped my hand, and asked, gravely: + +"Does History say how this advice was received?" + +"History is silent," I replied, with a beating heart. "How do you think +it ended, Cornelius?" + +"I think," he replied, smiling as our looks met, "that most artists would +have civilly requested her Majesty to mind the affairs of the State. +Painters are a touchy race, better accustomed to royal favour than to +royal advice. The brush of Titian was picked up by Charles V.; Holbein +found the English Bluebeard gentle; Leonardo da Vinci died in the arms of +Francis I.; and, I suppose the artist we now allude to must have been +spoiled by favours still more high, for I have heard that on this +occasion he had the presumption to request of her Majesty--" + +"To mind the affairs of the State," I interrupted, again taking up my +stocking. + +"Nay," he replied, gently taking it from me, "to leave by those important +cares, and idle away a day with him, was the request, says History." + +"Oh!" I exclaimed, with a sigh of relief, "I am so glad you are not +offended, Cornelius!" + +"Then you thought I was; and that explains why you looked at me with a +sorrowful audacity that seemed to say: 'Be angry if you like. I have said +the truth, nothing but the truth, and by that I stand fast.'" + +"Yes, Cornelius, that is just what I felt; but I am very glad that you +are not offended for all that." + +"Then if you are so glad," he answered smiling, "how did you come to risk +it?" + +"Because I am not quite a child now," I replied earnestly. "Oh! +Cornelius, do you not understand that I can love you better than your +good pleasure, and your honour better than you?" + +"And do you not understand," he answered, bending over me a warm and +animated face, "that I cannot be offended to see the child's blind +affection make room for the heart, mind and feelings of the woman; and +call that look in the eyes, and that flush on the cheek?" + +"I meant to be very quiet," I replied, deprecatingly; "and if I reddened +as I spoke, it was because my heart was in it, Cornelius, as it is in +everything that concerns you; and I could not help it." + +"Who wants you to help it?" he asked with mingled tenderness and +impatience in his accent, "or to be quiet either. Quiet affection is +nonsense: there is but one way of loving or of doing anything, and that +is, as much as one can, Daisy." + +He uttered not a word to which something within me did not echo and +reply. To this day, I do not understand placid affection, even though it +should take the calmest name. Like him I hold that there is but one true +way of loving any one, or anything, with one's whole heart. + +"As much as one can," I echoed, passing my arm within his; "that's how +you are going to set at painting, is it not?" + +My upraised face looked into his; he did not reply. + +"You know," I continued, "you said you could paint over again Count +Morsikoff's pictures." + +"And so I will, but not just yet." + +"Cornelius, do you no longer like painting?" + +"No longer like it! I like it but too well; and as I know its power over +me, I delay placing myself under a spell, even you, Daisy, might not be +able to break." + +"As if I should wish to break it! When do you begin, Cornelius?" + +"What a hurry you are in!" + +"I am in a hurry to see you famous." + +He smoothed my hair with a flattered smile. + +"Will you begin to-morrow?" I persisted. + +"No." + +"After to-morrow?" + +"No." + +"Next week?" + +"No." + +"But, Cornelius, when will you begin?" I inquired, rather disappointed. + +"Now." + +"Now!" I exclaimed, delighted. + +"Why did you not tell me sooner that you wished for it?" he asked, +reproachfully. "I thought you liked the walks, and put off talking of +work from day to day." + +I had a confused impression at the time, that there was something odd in +this speech, but in my joy at having succeeded, I forgot it. + +"It is quite early yet," I said, "you can begin at once. Which shall it +be, Cornelius, the women praying, or the children by the fountain?" + +"Neither one nor the other for the present," he replied, "that is to say +I hope not. I have thought of another subject to begin with." + +"What is it, Cornelius?" I asked, much interested. + +"I saw a young girl once," he said in a thoughtful tone, like one who +looks back into memory, "and she brought to my mind's eye a full and +charming picture. She sat within the meditative shadow of an ill-lit +room, reading by an open window--well, why do you look at me so?" + +"I only think that I was sewing that day--you know, not reading; +therefore you cannot mean me." + +"Logically concluded. To resume: the room was gloomy, but the open window +gave a sense of space, and admitted the light, high and serene, of a pale +evening sky. The book lay open on the lap of her who read, one hand +rested upon its pages; the other supported her cheek; the eyes were rapt +and thoughtful; the silent lips met and closed with a charming and +austere grace; the attitude was meditative, even down to the garment's +quiet and gathered folds. The slender figure told of early youth, but +there was the calmness of an immortal spirit on the brow, and something +beyond time in the bearing and the mien. I remembered the Greek's +meditating muse, and Corregio's divine Magdalen reading in the +wilderness, and I thought though Pagan times be gone and art may have +lost her early faith, she still can tell the story of earnest spirits +that live and move within the shadow of our own homes, yet ever seem to +dwell serene in their own heights. That is the subject, Daisy, and there +is a speech for you." + +"Is that all, Cornelius?" + +"All. It will stand in the catalogue, as 'A Young Girl Reading,' and +many, unable to see more in it, will give a brief look and pass on. If a +few linger near, even though they scarcely know why; if to them it +embodies thought, meditation, or some such thing, I am satisfied. Daisy. +Well, what do you think of it?" + +"Nothing for the present; I am thinking whether Jane will do." + +"What for?" he asked promptly. + +"To sit for you. She is very pretty, you know." + +"And she looks very meditative, with her bright black eyes ever open, and +her cherry lips ever parted." + +"I wish you had seen Miss Lindley. She is tall, graceful, and dresses +with so much taste. Then she has a pale olive face, and looks very lady- +like." + +"And a lady-like Meditation--who dresses well too--would be the very +thing." + +"But Cornelius," I said, rather perplexed, "how will you manage? I can do +for the figure pretty well, I dare say, but the face?" + +He gave me an odd look, and answered: + +"Yes, there is a puzzle." + +"How thoughtless of you." + +"Very." + +"Then how will you manage?" + +"Really," he said, turning round to confront me, "is it possible you do +not guess whose face I want, Daisy?" + +"Mine!" I exclaimed, much astonished. + +"Yes, yours," he replied, taking my hand in his. "I once saw you +reading--" + +"Sewing, Cornelius." + +"No [!] reading--do you think I never looked at you but that one time?-- +and I liked it, for I saw it would make a very charming picture. The +attitude is one in which you often fall unconsciously--simple, true, and +graceful. I like it. I like, too, the exquisite colour of your hair, and +the meditative light of your gray eyes. Dark eyes may be for passion; +blue, for love and sweetness; gray, less beautiful, perhaps, but also +less earthly, are for meditation and spiritual thought." + +"And the meaning of hazel eyes?" I said, looking up at his. + +"Sincerity," he replied, biting his nether lip to repress a smile. "If, +for instance, a person with hazel eyes ever tells you 'you are truly +pretty, Daisy, though you do not seem to know it,' believe that person, +Daisy." + +"I shall see about that when the time comes. In the meanwhile, I wish you +would begin." + +He called me a little tyrant, but it was a tyranny he liked, for he +yielded to it with an ardour and alacrity that betrayed him. He placed me +in the attitude he wanted--sitting by the window, with a book on my lap-- +and began at once. I saw he was quite in his element again; and when, +after a long sitting, we both rested, I said to him, a little +reproachfully: + +"You like it more than ever, Cornelius. I see it in your face." + +"It does not annoy you?" he asked, giving me an uneasy look. + +"Annoy me, Cornelius! Have you forgotten Daisy?" + +"Ah! but she was a sickly child: and for the merry young girl to be shut +up--" + +"She does not mind being shut up the whole day long, provided it be with +Cornelius." + +"Who, when once he is at his easel, has scarcely a word or a look to give +her." + +"She does not want him to give her words or looks. She wants him to paint +a fine picture, than which, she thinks, there is nothing finer; and to +become a great painter, than which, she believes, there is nothing +greater." + +"Indeed, then, there is not," he replied, laughing and reddening, and his +brown eyes kindling with sudden, though lingering light. "Oh, Daisy!" he +added, after a pause, laying his two hands on my shoulders, and looking +down at me intently, "what a fine, generous little creature you are!" + +"Because I do not mind sitting," I replied, smiling. "You forget. +Cornelius, I always liked it. Let us return to it, and surprise Kate." + +Miss O'Reilly was certainly surprised when she came up--much more +surprised than pleased--to see the historic style put aside; but when her +brother gently informed her that Mary Stuart was not quite a masterpiece, +she waxed wroth, indignantly said he would never do better, and only +hoped he would do as well. Cornelius heard her quietly, and smiled at me +with the security of conscious power. + +As he went on with his "Young Girl Reading," I was struck with the +wonderful progress he had made--it more than fulfilled the promise of the +Italian sketches. I expressed my admiration without reserve, and I could +not but see in his face, how much it gratified him. The time that +followed was, indeed, a happy time, as happy as the past, with much that +the past had never known. Cornelius looked engrossed and delighted. He +worked either with the impassioned ardour of a lover, or with a lingering +tenderness as significant. He dwelt _con amore_, over certain bits, or +stood back and looked at the whole fondly, through half-shut eyes, +drinking in, with evident delight, that sweet intoxication which lies in +the contemplation of our own work, when we can behold in it the +fulfilment of some cherished idea. But, at the end of a fortnight, there +came a change. He looked gloomy, misanthropic, and painted with the air +of an angry lover, who has fallen out with his mistress. Ardour had +become scorn--tenderness was changed into sullen languor. I guessed that +one of his old desponding fits was on him, and, at length, I spoke. It +was on a day when, spite of all his efforts, I could see that he scarcely +worked. I left my place, and went up to him. For a while, I looked at the +picture; then said: + +"How it progresses." + +"Wonderfully." + +"I wish you would not be ironical, Cornelius." + +"I wish you would not, Daisy." + +"I only say what I think: that it progresses." + +Cornelius laughed, but by no means cheerfully. + +"I know you long for me to praise it," I observed, quietly. + +"Indeed, I do not," he interrupted. + +"Yes, you do: it would give you so good an opportunity of abusing it." + +"Do you kindly mean to spare me the trouble?" + +"No; for then you would defend it against all my criticisms. I know very +well how you rate your picture, Cornelius." + +"Do you?" + +"Yes; I do. You know it will make your reputation; that it will be +praised and admired; but it fails in something on which you have set your +heart, and, though it may do for the world, it will not do for Cornelius +O'Reilly, his own severest judge, public and critic." + +"Oh, you witch!" he replied, unable to repress a smile. + +"Do you not like it better now?" I asked, thinking the cloud was +beginning to break. + +"No, Daisy. It is the old story; something within me to which, do what I +will, I cannot give birth; it is this torments me, Daisy, it is this." + +"And let it be this," I replied gravely; "let it be this, Cornelius, you +will be better than your pictures: if you were not, if you could give all +to art, would art be any longer worth living for? Where would be the +mystery, the desire, the hope, the charm, to lure you on for ever. I dare +say painting resembles life; and that to feel I am better than my +pictures, is like the pleasure of feeling 'I am better than my destiny.'" + +"And what do you know about that pleasure?" asked Cornelius. + +"I have felt it," was my involuntary reply. "Well, why not?" I added, +reddening beneath his look, "do you think that because I am a girl, I +have had no ambition, no dreams of my own, no longing for a little bit of +the heroic? We all have, Cornelius, only we don't confess it, for fear of +being laughed at." + +He looked attentively at me and smiled. + +"What were your dreams about, Daisy?" + +"Not worth your losing time in listening to them, Cornelius--time, that +leads to fame!" + +The smile vanished from his face. + +"Not for me," he replied, with a clouded brow. + +"Why not?" + +"Because I have no genius." + +"No genius?" + +"No," he said impatiently, "not a bit." + +"Do you mean to say, Cornelius, that you will never be one of the +celebrated artists of whom I have read so much?" + +"Never!" he replied, with a dreary seriousness that proved him, for the +moment at least, to be quite in earnest. + +"Cornelius," I said, decisively, "I am not going to put up with that, you +know; fame is not a thing to be laid aside in that fashion." + +"Fame! what is fame?" + +"A poor aim, but a glorious reward." + +"Empty, Daisy, empty. I do not care one pin for fame." + +"Sour grapes," was the prompt reply which escaped me. + +"Thank you, Daisy," he answered, reddening. + +I felt rather disturbed. He resumed: + +"Sour grapes! The illustration is kind and civil. Sour grapes!" + +"They must be very sour," I ventured to observe, in a low tone, "for you +seem unable to digest them, Cornelius." + +"I beg your pardon," he said, very gravely, "I do not care for celebrity, +and do not want to be famous." + +"But I do," I warmly answered, "you were asking a while ago about my day- +dreams: I will tell you one, a favourite one, of which the fulfilment +lies with you:--I am out somewhere; for of course we shall not always +live in this quiet way, and I overhear Mrs. H-- asking Mrs. G--, in an +audible whisper: 'Who is that commonplace-looking girl in white?' +'Something or other to the celebrated artist, Cornelius O'Reilly.' Mrs. +H-- looks at me with sudden veneration, whilst I give her a compassionate +glance, implying 'Who ever heard of Mr. H--?'" + +"You saucy girl," said Cornelius, passing his arm around me, but looking +down at me, with anything but a displeased face. + +"I am not saucy; I am very humble. I am proud by temper, and yet I cannot +fancy that if I were to go and earn my bread, it would have a sweeter +taste than that you have earned for me so long. I am ambitious, and +instead of winning fame for myself, here am I suing you to do it for me!" + +"And shall it not be won for you?" he asked, fondly smoothing my hair, +"that and anything else you wish for, my darling." + +"Then, don't you see," I replied, triumphantly, "that you have got +genius?" + +"Oh! Daisy," he said sorrowfully, "what brought up that unlucky word? +Look at that figure, cold, lifeless thing, it tells its own story." + +I lost all patience. I felt my face flush, and turning round on +Cornelius, I put by at once all the filial reverence of years. + +"Cornelius!" I exclaimed, indignantly, "you are as capricious as a +spoiled child. How can a man of your age indulge in such whims?" + +"I am not so old as to have my age thrown in my face!" he replied, +looking piqued. "I am only a few years beyond legal infancy." + +"You ought to be ages beyond thinking and speaking as you do. If you have +no faith in yourself, why do you paint at all? If I were a man, I would +rather be a shoemaker or a tailor, than an artist without faith." + +"On my word," said Cornelius, looking very angry, "you do speak +strongly." + +"Because _I_ have faith in you," I replied, passing my arm around his +neck, and looking into his averted face. "Call the picture bad, but do +not say you have no genius. It cuts me to the heart, indeed it does. +Besides, I cannot believe it. I never look at your face, but I seem to +see the word 'Genius' written there." + +And, as I spoke, I laid my lips on a brow where eyes less prejudiced than +mine might have read the same story. A sudden and burning glow overspread +the features of Cornelius; he looked another way, and bit his lips, as if +seeking for calmness, as striving to curb down that impatient fever of +the blood which, in good or in evil, it is always a sort of pain to +betray. I half drew back, thinking him vexed again, but he detained me; +and turning towards me a flushed and troubled face, he said with a forced +laugh: + +"Your head has been turned by reading those Lives of the Painters, and +you want to turn mine too. To satisfy you, I should be the first painter +in England." + +"In England!" I echoed; "in Christendom, Sir." + +"Rather high-flown, Daisy. Besides that it sounds like a reminiscence of +the seven champions." + +"High-flown! Ambition is a bird of high feather, Cornelius. I would scorn +to aim at the second place when there is the first to win." + +"Oh! you witch!" he said again, "how well you know me!" + +"What has become of the evil spirit that possessed you?" I asked, +smiling. + +"Gone to the winds for the present," he answered gaily. + +"Well then work." + +"Not yet. Let us rest awhile." + +He sat down on a low couch by the open window, and made me sit down by +him. Since his return, I had not seen his face wear so free and happy a +look, as it then wore. His brilliant and deep-set hazel eyes shone +beneath the dark arch of the brow, with unusual light, and rested on me +with a triumphant tenderness that perplexed me; a warmer glow tinged his +cheek, embrowned by a southern sun. There lurked both joy and exultation +in the half smile that trembled on his lips: like his sister, he had a +very beautiful and fascinating smile; and, as I now gazed at him. I could +not help smiling, too, for I thought I had never seen him look half so +handsome. In the freak of the moment, I told him so. + +"Do you know, Mr. O'Reilly?" I said, taking hold of his curved chin, and +looking up at him laughing. "Do you know that you are very good-looking?" + +He half threw back his head, as if in scorn of the compliment; but when I +added, "I suppose all great artists are so!" he smiled down at me; and if +his smile was somewhat conscious, it was still more fond and tender. + +"You like me, Daisy; don't you?" he said, bending over me a flushed and +happy face. + +I laughed, and he laughed, too, with the security of the knowledge. + +"Oh! you may laugh," he said with sparkling eyes; "I know you do. I know +it, but I have not deserved it," he added, remorsefully. "Oh! when I +think how cold, and how careless I have been; and how you might serve me +out now!" + +"How so, Cornelius?" + +He smiled, and smoothed my hair without replying. + +"Why it is you who might serve me out," I said. + +"Is it?" + +"Of course, for it is I who have all to gain or lose." + +"Are you afraid?" + +"No." + +He repressed a smile, gave me a curious look, and said I was an odd girl. + +"And won't the other girls be jealous of me, Cornelius?" I asked, +proudly. + +"Jealous! What for?" + +"Because you are immortalizing me in a picture." + +"What else?" + +"Because you like me." + +"What else?" + +"Because I am to be always with you." + +"And how do you know you are to be always with me?" he asked with a +mischievous look; "answer me that." + +I did not at first; he laughed. + +"Well," I said, piqued, "am I not to be always with you? Was it not +agreed before you went to Italy? Am I not to be the governess?" + +"The governess!" he echoed, astonished. + +It was some time before I could make him remember what had passed between +us. If I had not been positive, he would have denied it altogether. + +"How can you think of such nonsense?" he asked, impatiently; "the +governess of what?" + +"Of the children; and please not to call them _what_." + +"_Them!_ Will you be pleased to remember that I am a poor artist." + +"Sceptic! Providence will send for every child a new picture to paint." + +"Providence is very kind. I hope her liberality will know some limits." + +"The first must be Cornelius or Kate, second ditto, third--" + +"Daisy!" + +"There must be a third to be called after the mother, and the fourth +after one of her friends; the fifth--" + +"Daisy!" indignantly asked Cornelius: "do you mean to make a patriarch of +me?" + +"Patriarch or not, there must be a fifth--mine, whom you will call Daisy, +in memory of the other Daisy you brought home, wrapped in your cloak." + +Cornelius turned round to look at me smiling: + +"So you were piqued," he said, "and brought up the governess to punish +me!" + +"Piqued!" I echoed, laughing in his face, "what about?" + +He looked a little disconcerted. I thought him vexed, and apologized at +once for my want of respect. + +"Respect!" he replied seeming half astonished, half displeased, "what do +I want with respect--your respect?" And he gave me a glance of mingled +incredulity and uneasiness. + +"Cornelius, you said before you went to Italy--" + +"What about the foolish things, I may have said years ago." he +interrupted impatiently; "Surely," he added, looking down at me +reproachfully, "surely, we have both outgrown that time." + +"I hope I have not outgrown my respect for you, Cornelius," I replied +rather gravely. + +"Again!" he said with subdued irritation; "why don't, you ask to call me +'Papa?'" + +"I would if I thought you would say yes, Cornelius." + +"No, you would not," he answered reddening and looking vexed; "you know +you would not. You know all this is mere childish talk." + +"Put me to the test!" I said laughing. + +"I dare you to do it." he replied hastily. "Take warning, and, if +troubled with filial feelings, look out for some other paternal parent. +C. O. R., Esq., is not the man." + +"When Louisa Scheppler asked the good Pastor Oberlin--he consented." + +Cornelius looked at me uneasily and tried to smile. + +"I know you are only jesting," he observed; "I know it, of course. But +yet, Daisy, I would rather you did not." + +"Is the idea of a daughter so formidable?" I asked. + +"A daughter! Oh, Daisy!" exclaimed Cornelius a little desperately, "this +is too childish! The next thing will be, that you will get out of the +teens altogether, and go back to the little girl of ten whom I found here +seven years ago." + +"And you don't want me to do that?" I said amused at the idea. + +He looked at me expressively. + +"Oh, no!" he murmured, "oh, no! Surely, you know yourself how charming +you have grown." + +I smiled incredulously. I knew I was improved, but thought it was his +affection which transformed a little freshness and colour into so +comprehensive a word as charming. + +"I wonder you will never believe me," he said, looking half annoyed. "I +wonder, what is your real opinion of yourself. I do not mean that +conventional opinion of one's own inferiority, or at the best mediocrity +which, under penalty of being hunted out from decent society, every +civilized individual is bound to profess, but that honest opinion of our +merits and defects, by which we judge ourselves in our own hearts. Do you +mind answering that question?" + +"No, it is not worth minding." + +"Then answer it." + +"You must question me categorically. I have not a ready-made certificate +of my good or bad points, to deliver on such short notice." + +"What do you think of Daisy morally?" + +"A good sort of girl; has received honest principles; devoutly believes +she will never do anything very shocking." + +"What of her intellectually?" + +"Sensible, not brilliant." + +"What of her person?" + +"Like her mind--plain; but, thank Heaven, has the use of her limbs and +senses." + +"And this common-place character is your real opinion of yourself!" +exclaimed Cornelius almost indignantly. + +"My real opinion; but it is scarcely civil to tell me to my face that I +am common-place." + +"I never said so. That is not my opinion of you, Daisy." + +"Ah!" I said a little embarrassed, for it was plain he meant to favour me +with that opinion. + +"No," he continued very earnestly, "I do not think you that pale, every- +day girl you described. I think you more than good, for you are high- +minded; I think you more than sensible, for you are original. You may as +well laugh out at once," he added in a piqued tone, "for to crown all, +Daisy, I think you pretty, ay, and very pretty." + +"Oh, Cornelius!" I replied endeavouring to look melancholy; "if you had +not made that unlucky addition, I could have believed in the rest--but +now!" + +"Daisy, beauty is manifold: the greatest fool can discover the beauty of +a perfectly beautiful woman." + +"Whereas it requires a peculiar talent to find out the invisible sort of +beauty. Judicious remark!" + +"Allow me to return to the point. My meaning is, that to be able to see +and feel none save the self-demonstrative sort of beauty, is common- +place." + +"The other course is decidedly more original; is that the point, +Cornelius?" + +"The point," he replied, fairly provoked, "is, that such as you are, +pretty or plain, _I_ find you charming." + +"Well, then," I said, amused at his persistency, "glamour has fallen on +your eyes, and you see me through it." + +"What if I do?" he answered, in a tone that, like his look, suddenly +softened; "will that sort of magic vex you? What is there so pleasant in +this world as the face of one we love; and if your face has that +pleasantness for me; if the glamour, as you call it, of affection has +fallen on my eyes and heart, why should you mind?" + +Oh! not indifferent, even in the purest affection, are these things. I +glanced up into his face; and as it told me how thoroughly he meant all +he said, I blushed; then ashamed of blushing, I hung down my head. He +stooped to look at me. + +"Perverse girl," he said, chidingly, "don't you see it was useless to try +to frighten and torment me? But you have provoked me. Shall I tell you +why I find you so very, very charming?" + +I looked up at him, and, passing my arms around his neck, I smiled as I +replied: + +"Cornelius, it is because as a father you have reared me; because as a +father you love me. What wonder, then, that a father should see some sort +of beauty in his daughter's face?" + +Cornelius looked thunder-struck; then recovering, he gave me an +incredulous glance, and attempted a smile, which vanished as he met my +astonished look. A burning glow overspread his features: it was not the +light blush of boy or girl, called up by idle words, but the ardent fire +of a manly heart's deep and passionate emotions. He untwined my arm from +around his neck; he rose: his brown eyes lit--his lips trembled. At first +he seemed unable to speak; at length he said: + +"You cannot mean it, Daisy--you cannot mean it." + +"Why not, Cornelius?" I asked, amazed at his manner. + +"Do you mean to say that I love you as my daughter or child?" + +"Yes, Cornelius." + +"Do you mean to say that you love me as your father?" + +"Yes, Cornelius." + +His voice rose and rang with each question; mine sank with every reply. +He darted at me a look of the keenest reproach. + +"Never," he exclaimed, with a fire and vehemence that startled me, "never +have I loved you, or shall I love you so; never for a second in the past; +never for a second in the future; never, Daisy, never!" And turning from +me, he paced the room with hasty steps, a flushed brow, and angry look. +At length he stopped before me; for, being somewhat calmer, the fire of +his look seemed more earnest and concentrated, the accents of his voice +more measured and deep. He said: + +"Confess you have been jesting." + +"No, Cornelius, I spoke as I thought." + +"And you thought that I liked you, as a father likes his child; I defy +you to prove it! Since I returned from Italy, have I not done all I could +to show you that your esteem, approbation, praise, and love were dearer +to me than language could express? Have I not, through all our old +familiarity, say, have I not mingled reserve and respect with all my +tenderness? Have I not acknowledged the woman in you, and that in a +hundred ways? The love of a father? I defy you to prove it, Daisy!" + +He again paced the room with angry steps. I followed him, and laying my +hand on his arm, I said earnestly-- + +"Cornelius, you should not be angry with me. Have you forgotten that, +before you went to Italy, you called me your adopted child? that in your +letters you addressed me thus? That on the very evening of your return, +when Kate seemed vexed about it, you were not displeased, though you are +so angry now?" + +Cornelius turned a little pale. + +"I had forgotten it," he said bitterly, "but you forget nothing--nothing; +years pass, and words spoken in the heedlessness of ignorance and the +presumptuousness of youth, still live in your pitiless memory." + +"Cornelius," I said, gently, "is it a sin to remember the truth?" + +"The truth!" he echoed, indignantly, "do not call that the truth. I may +have said it, been fool enough to have believed it, but true it has never +been. Never, I tell you, never have I felt for you one spark of the +affection a father feels for his child, never. Do not think, dream, or +imagine such a thing. I deny it in every way in which man can deny. I +would, were it in my power, efface from your mind every such remembrance +of a past, beyond which we both should look." + +I began to feel startled. What did Cornelius mean? Why did he object so +pertinaciously to a matter like this? I looked up at him and said +earnestly-- + +"Cornelius, I do not understand at all why you are so vexed. Pray tell +me." + +He looked down at me very fixedly. Every trace of ungentle passion had +passed away from his features, and there was a strange, undefined +tenderness in his gaze, as he said in a low tone-- + +"If I have been vexed. Daisy, it is to find out a mistake--a great +mistake of mine." + +"What mistake, Cornelius?" + +"Do you really want to know, Daisy?" + +"Yes," I said, almost desperately, "I want to know." + +There was a pause. He still stood by me, looking down in my face. + +"Do not look so pale, and above all so frightened," he said, gently; +"there is no need. How you tremble!" he added, taking my hand in both +his, and speaking very sadly, "Oh, Daisy! Daisy!" And he turned his look +away with a strange expression of disappointment and pain, of shame and +mortification. + +I hung down my head; I did not dare to look at him, to withdraw my hand, +to move. I stood mutely expecting--what I knew not exactly; but I seemed +to feel that it must be some shock, dreadful, because violent, that would +perforce turn the current of my destiny, and compel it to flow through +regions, where of itself, my will would never have led we. Vain fear; +unfounded alarm. Cornelius turned to me, and said very calmly-- + +"The mistake into which I fell, was to think that we understood one +another tacitly, Daisy. I do not love you now because I have reared you, +but on your own merits, for the sake of that which you have become. And +thus I thought that you too liked me, with a higher feeling than +gratitude. In short, as I like you myself--as a very dear friend." + +He spoke simply and naturally. I breathed freely. + +"Oh! how good, how generous you are!" I exclaimed, moved to the heart by +so much delicacy of affection. "You want to raise me to an equality with +you. God bless you, Cornelius." + +I pressed his two hands in mine, with much emotion. + +"Are you happy?" he asked, looking down at me. + +"So very happy!" I replied, with a joyous smile. + +"I am glad of it," he said, trying to smile too. + +"Shall we resume the sitting?" I asked. + +"Not to-day. 1 am in no mood to work; I think I shall go out for a walk." + +I felt somewhat surprised that Cornelius did not ask me to join him; and +so was Kate, when she learned from me--she had been in her room all this +time--that he was gone out alone. + +"Why did you not go with him?" she asked, frowning slightly. + +"He did not ask me, Kate." + +"You have not quarrelled?" + +"Oh, no! we are very good friends." + +The cloud passed away from her brow. She kissed me and said "Of course +you are." + +Cornelius did not come in until late in the evening; he had walked miles, +and was so tired that he could scarcely speak. + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + + +I awoke the next morning with a severe headache; I rose and came down as +usual, thinking to hide it; scarcely, however, had I entered the front +parlour, when Cornelius asked what ailed me. "Only a headache," I +replied, carelessly; but he seemed filled with concern. He made me return +to my room where I slept for a few hours, but without feeling any better; +I then again went down to the parlour and lay on the sofa. Cornelius, who +according to his sister had gone up to listen at my door every ten +minutes--sat by me holding my hand. + +"How feverish she is!" he said to Kate. + +"There is twice as much fever in your blood as in that of Daisy," +decisively replied Miss O'Reilly. + +"Don't be alarmed, Cornelius," I said quietly, "I do not feel as if I +should realize the prediction of Dr. Mixton just yet." + +"Don't talk of that madman," exclaimed Cornelius, with a troubled face, +"he was mad; only fit for Bedlam." + +"It came into my head by chance, and, as one thought leads to another, I +thought, if I were going to die, I should ask two things of Cornelius. +That if he married and had daughters, he should call one of them Daisy. +Thus there would ever be something in his home to remind him of me; also +to bury me here at Leigh--" + +"Daisy, Daisy!" almost angrily interrupted Cornelius, "what do you mean? +I am not going to marry and have daughters; and to think of you as pale +and inanimate with the cold earth above you, is a sickening thought." + +He looked quite pale. I saw there was a deep and secret fear at his +heart, and indeed he showed it sufficiently; for as the day advanced and +my headache still continued to trouble me, he insisted, spite of my +entreaties and those of Kate, on going himself for a physician who +resided several miles off. I was touched to the heart by this proof of a +love so vigilant. + +"How kind he is," I said to Kate. + +"Kind! why surely child, you can see that he doats on you! Is he not +making a fool of himself, just because your head aches? Would he not go +distracted if anything were to happen to you? Oh, Midge! Midge!" she +added, with a half-stifled sigh, "don't you see you are the apple of his +eye?" + +As the heat of the day subsided, I felt suddenly better. The fresh sea- +breeze could only do me good, so I went and sat on the bench at the end +of the garden, there to watch for the return of Cornelius whose road home +lay along the wide sweep of beach beneath me. For a long time I watched +in vain; at length I perceived a man's form slowly descending the cliffs; +I hastened in for my bonnet and scarf, and merely saying to Kate: + +"I see him coming," as I passed the parlour door, I was gone before she +could open her lips to object. When I reached the sands, I looked in vain +for Cornelius. I walked on, thinking he had seen me coming and stood +concealed in a cleft of the rocks, but my look searched every one of +their dark recesses, and nowhere could discover a token of his presence. +It was late, though the singular clearness of the air which prevails by +the sea-side, gave more light than belonged to the hour. I resolved to go +no further, but to give one more look and return. I climbed up a heap of +fallen rocks, and slowly began to scan the whole coast; it looked silent +and lonely in the pale light of a rising moon. I was preparing to descend +from my post of observation, when I started to perceive a shadow near +mine. I looked up and saw William Murray. + +"William!" I exclaimed, delighted, "William Murray! Oh, how glad I am to +see you again." + +He did not speak, but he took and held both my hands in his, and pressed +them warmly, looking down at me with a happy, smiling face. + +"God bless you!" he said, "God bless you, Daisy! I thought I should never +see you again." + +"Why so, William?" I asked, sitting down on a rock and making him sit +down by me. + +He hesitated as he replied: + +"Don't you know?" + +"O, William, what is it? You make my heart beat." + +"Why we have been wrecked in the Mediterranean. I am sorry to tell you so +abruptly; I thought you knew." + +He was safe before me; but we feel even the past perils of those we love. +I felt myself turning faint and pale. William seemed much moved; he +assured me that the danger had not been so very great, though in the hour +of peril he had indeed thought of me as of one he should see no more. + +"Oh, William!" I said, looking up, and allowing him again to take my +hands in his, "will you not leave that perilous life, and that dangerous +sea?" + +"I cannot, Daisy; why I am only here for two days; I shall not see much +of you before I am off again." + +"For long?" + +"A year," he replied, sighing. + +"How long have you been back?" + +"Two hours." + +"Why did you not come to me at once?" + +"Why did I wander up and down here, but to get a sight of you?" + +"Then it was you I took for Cornelius. You know he is come back. Oh, +William! you must call on us and see him. How much you will like him!" + +"And how fond you are of him, Daisy, said William, in a low tone. + +"Why, of course, I am; and he deserves it." + +"Ay, that he does," he warmly replied. "You know, Daisy, I always said he +was a good man." + +"He is a good man, for he does good actions, and never seems to know it. +He is a great man--for he has genius, which is a great gift; and," I +added, with a smile, "he is a handsome man, too, William." + +"There are some very fine men amongst those Irish," gravely replied +William; "and they wear well too. There's our captain--Captain MacMahon-- +who is upwards of fifty, but the most splendid fellow I ever saw--six +foot six: then such shoulders and such lungs. He does not roar like +Johnstone, or scream like Philipps; but he just opens his mouth, and lets +his voice out as it were. Then his fists--you should see his fists, +Daisy!" + +I was much amused, and replied: + +"I fear Cornelius is not quite equal to Captain MacMahon, yet I think you +will like him, William." + +"This is the second time you say so." + +"Because I know it--just as I know that he will be delighted with you." + +William gave me a look, half shy, half pleased, and muttered something +that sounded very like: + +"Did _I_ care for him?" + +"No," I replied, amused at the question, "not at all. How can I care for +a friend who leaves me to go and get wrecked?" + +"Not at all, Daisy," he echoed; "not at all." + +He stooped, and looked very eagerly into my face. I drew back with a +laugh that was checked by a voice observing behind me: + +"Daisy, what are you doing here at this hour?" + +I turned round--it was Cornelius. The moonlight fell full on his pale and +angry face. I rose, without answering; 1 felt--and, no doubt, I looked-- +like a culprit. He gave me a glance in which sadness and severity +blended: then, as it taking pity on my confusion, he silently held out +his arm to me. As I took it, I attempted a justification, and said: + +"I took William for you, Cornelius, and came out to meet you. He is Miss +Murray's nephew, you know, and I had not seen him for months. Did you +come for me from home? I am sorry--very sorry, Cornelius." + +I sought his look, but vainly; it was fastened on William, who had risen, +and now stood before us. Cornelius eyed him from head to foot, with a +keen and scrutinising gaze, which the young man returned. Neither spoke-- +there was an evident want of cordiality in the silent glances they +exchanged. I began to feel uncomfortable; my sense of uneasiness +increased when Cornelius turned towards me, and said coldly: + +"I am sorry to hurry you away, Daisy, but Kate is very anxious." + +And without taking the least notice of William, or seeming to think that +I could have another word to say to him, he made me turn homewards. I +felt so disconcerted at his displeasure, that I neither opened my lips, +nor attempted to resist; but, when we had walked on together for a few +minute, I gathered courage to say: + +"I must go back to bid him good evening, Cornelius." + +I disengaged my arm from his, and lightly ran back to the spot where we +had left William, and where he still stood looking after us with folded +arms. + +"Good night, William," I said, holding out my hand. + +He did not take it, but replied in a tone overflowing with reproach: + +"Why did you deceive me, Daisy?" + +"Deceive you, William!" + +"Why did you pretend to care for me when you are so wrapped up in +another, that, from the moment he comes up, you have neither speech nor +look for me?" + +"I have left him to come and bid you good night, and by way of thanks, +you accuse me of deceiving you. How, and about what?" + +"What do you call speaking of him as if he were your grandfather, when I +don't believe he is a bit older than I am?" + +"He is twenty-seven. But what about his age?" + +"I don't care about his age, nor about his looks either," replied +William, with a scornful laugh. "You may think him handsome if you like-- +I do not." + +I felt offended, and replied, shortly: + +"I never told you Cornelius was old. It was you chose to compare an +elegant young man, of twenty-seven, to a coarse sea-captain of fifty, not +I. I might add that your remarks are very childish, but I do not want to +speak unkindly. Good night, William. I trust that when I come here to- +morrow morning, I shall find you in a better temper." + +I turned away; he followed me. + +"Will you really come?" he asked, submissively. + +I replied, + +"Yes," and hastened away to join Cornelius, who was coming to meet me +with a face so overcast, that I saw I was again at fault. + +"I am so sorry to have brought you back!" I said, forestalling +accusation. "I thought you would go on." + +Cornelius stopped short--we were once more walking homewards--to give me +an amazed look, and say in a half indignant tone: + +"Go on, and leave you alone at this hour with a strange young man!" + +"He is not strange," I replied, feeling the blush he could not see; "I +have known him since we were both children; and Kate can tell you he is +only a boy." + +"A boy scarcely younger than I am," pointedly replied Cornelius. + +I thought it odd that both he and William should come to conclusions so +similar with regard to their respective ages, but I did not venture to +reply. Not another word was spoken until we reached the foot of the cliff +on which rose our home; then, from the garden above was heard the anxious +voice of Kate, exclaiming: + +"Have you found her, Cornelius?" + +"Yes," he replied, "she is quite safe." + +I was dismayed at this proof of the uneasiness I had made them feel. Kate +received me very sharply. "I am astonished at you," she said, "to choose +the very moment when you are troubled with a headache, and Cornelius is +gone for the physician, to run down to the sands!" + +"You know, Kate, I was better; besides I thought I saw him coming, and +went to meet him; but it proved to be William Murray." + +"The young bear--what brought him back?" + +"He has been wrecked." + +"Nonsense! wrecked! he has been spinning a yarn to you, Daisy." + +"I never yet knew William to tell an untruth," I replied, a little +indignantly. + +"Truth or not, were you to make us anxious just to listen to the stories +of that boy. Cornelius has come back from Italy with banditti notions; +and he would have it that some ill-looking fellows, whom he met as he was +going, had lingered on the beach until dusk to waylay you. So off he ran +like a madman. Look at him. See how pale he is still!" + +Cornelius, who had lingered behind, entered the parlour as his sister +spoke; my heart smote me to see that he was deadly pale. He sat down by +the table, leaned his elbow upon it, and rested his brow on the palm of +his hand, so that his face was shaded from the light. + +"Cornelius, what ails you?" asked Kate. + +"I am tired," he answered, without looking up. + +"Dr. Reeves was out, so I went for Dr. Simpson." + +"Why that is three miles further off." + +"Just so, that is what tired me. He too was out." + +Kate gave me a reproachful look; but indeed there was no need; my +conscience troubled me sorely for the heedlessness which had added +unnecessary fatigue and alarm to that his ardent affection had already +caused him to undergo for my sake. I longed to make some atonement; to +offer some explanation; but he gave me no opportunity; he left early, and +it was only by his not coming down again, that we knew he had left us for +the evening. + +In appointing to meet William on the sands the following morning, I had +not reflected how difficult it would be for me to do so. I turned the +subject over and over, and at length resolved to speak to Cornelius. He +behaved to me at breakfast as if nothing had occurred; and when we both +entered the little studio as usual, his face, though more serious than in +the presence of Kate, expressed nothing like displeasure. In whose +kindness and indulgence could I confide, if not in his? I hoped he would +open the conversation, but, as he did not, I resolved to speak. I went up +to his chair, and leaning upon it, said in a low tone: + +"Cornelius." + +"Well, Daisy," he replied, looking round. + +"May I say something to you? But pray," I quickly added, "pray, do not be +vexed; promise that you will not." + +"Daisy!" exclaimed Cornelius, giving me a troubled look. + +"Well, then, promise nothing. I will trust to your indulgence. I can bear +that you should reprove me, but I could not bear to deceive you." + +He took my hand in his, and, bending on me a look so keen that I began to +feel disconcerted, he said slowly: + +"What do you mean?" + +I did not answer. + +"What do you mean?" he said, his voice rising. + +"Well then!" I exclaimed a little desperately, "I mean that I have made +an appointment with William, and that I want your permission to keep it." + +Cornelius dropped my hand, and looked petrified. + +"You have made an appointment with that young man!" he said at length. + +"Yes, Cornelius." + +"And you come and tell it to me." + +"Oh, Cornelius, would you have me keep it a secret?" + +"But to tell it to _me_." + +"To whom else should I tell it?" + +"But to ask _me_ to let you keep it." + +"Of whom else should I ask it?" + +He seemed unable to reply. He looked at me; but no words passed his +trembling lips. I began to feel hurt and dismayed at the manner in which +he received my confidence. At length, he said, with forced calmness:-- + +"This is some mistake of mine; I have misunderstood you, Daisy. You +cannot have meant to say that you had appointed a meeting with the young +man I saw with you last night." + +"That was my meaning, Cornelius," I replied, firmly. + +"You confirm it," he replied, turning pale; "and I, who, after a night of +tormenting thought, came down this morning, not knowing how to question +you. Oh, Daisy!" + +There was agitation in his look and in his voice. + +"Cornelius," I said, with some emotion, "if I have made an appointment +with William, where is the harm? It is not the first time I have done +so." + +"Not the first time!" + +"No, nor the second, nor the third. We have been attached since Kate +brought me to Leigh; and before William went to sea, there scarcely +passed a day but we met somewhere." + +"And I have been away two years!" said Cornelius, in a low tone. "Not a +day but you met somewhere!" + +"Yes, on the downs, or on the beach, where you found me last night, and +where I had promised to meet him this morning." + +Cornelius turned on me with flashing eyes. + +"Unhappy child!" he exclaimed, "what do you mean by telling me all this? +What have you been doing in my absence? What sort of a watch has Kate +kept over the young girl I left to her care? What sense of honour has he +who took so shameless an advantage of your ignorance, but who shall +account to me for it yet?" + +He rose; his brow was stern; his face was pale. Half wild with terror, I +threw my arms around his neck, and detained him. + +"It was my fault!" I exclaimed, eagerly; "all my fault--resent it upon +me." + +"And what can I do to you?" answered Cornelius, looking down at me with +strange anger and tenderness in his gaze; "what can I do to you?" + +"Hear me," I entreated, weeping. + +He sat down again, subdued at once by the sight of my tears, and said he +would listen patiently. + +"William," I began. + +"Why speak of him?" he interrupted, with a clouded brow. + +"You have accused him; I must justify him, or bear my share of the +blame." + +"Blame!" sorrowfully echoed Cornelius; "why should I blame you? I was +away, and Kate was negligent, and another was there; it was natural, very +natural." + +Encouraged by the gentleness of his tone, I stooped, and pressing my lips +to his cheek, I said, in my most persuasive accents:-- + +"May I keep my appointment, Cornelius?" + +He turned upon me a flushed and troubled face. + +"I have heard of strange, tormenting things," he said, between his set +teeth; "but I vow I never heard of anything to equal this. My God!" he +added, pressing me to him with strange and sudden passion, "what can you +want with that young man?" + +His look felt like fire; I bowed my face before its wrath. When I spoke, +it was to say, in a faltering tone:-- + +"Cornelius, you are angry again; yet all I want is not to make William +wait." + +"But what do you want with him?--What can you want with him?" desperately +asked Cornelius. + +"He was so unreasonable; he said I did not care for him; and indeed, +Cornelius, that was a great mistake of his. All I want is to speak to him +a few minutes, and make him hear sense." + +"Oh, Daisy!" exclaimed Cornelius, with ill repressed anger, "is it +possible you do not understand that it is not becoming for a young girl +to go and meet a young man in a lonely place?" + +"Then forbid me to go!" I exclaimed, eagerly; "forbid me, that I may +assure William if I broke my word to him, it was to obey you." + +Cornelius turned very pale; he rose, and said, in a moved and broken +tone:-- + +"I am no tyrant. I do not forbid you to go. I claim no control over your +feelings or actions. Go, and stay at your pleasure." + +Without giving me another look, he turned to his easel. I sat down in the +attitude of the young girl reading; but, though every now and then I +stole up a look from the open book on mv lap, I never could catch his +eye. I felt this keenly; for if there was a thing which Cornelius had of +late done more than another, it was to look into my face; and, oh! how +kindly he ever looked! At length, I could bear it no longer. I rose, and +went up to where he stood painting. He never even glanced around. The +calm expostulation with which I had thought to address him, faded from my +memory. With involuntary emotion, I sank down at his feet, and, seizing +his hand, I exclaimed, with something like passion:-- + +"Blame me! but look at me, Cornelius; say what you will, but look at me." + +"Are you mad?" he cried reddening indignantly and forcibly raising me +from the ground. "What do you, what can you mean by kneeling to me? Oh, +Daisy!" he added with keen reproach, "I would rather you had struck me +than you had done that." + +I stood by him silent and ashamed. + +"To kneel to me!" he resumed, as if he could not get over it. "For man to +kneel to woman may be folly, but at least it is the voluntary submission +of strength; but for woman to kneel to man--what is it--save the painful +submission of weakness. If you have any regard for me, if you care for +me, never do that again." + +I promised I would not, then added: + +"Have you forgiven me, Cornelius?" + +"What have I to forgive?" + +"You know--I do not." + +He looked around as I still stood by him in the attitude of an unforgiven +child, and he sighed. + +"You wish for an explanation," he said in a troubled tone, "so do I, and +yet I dread it." + +"Cornelius, I will do all I can not to annoy you. Question me and I will +answer you in all the sincerity of my heart. If I have done wrong, it is +by mistake, and indeed William too. We are both very young and ignorant, +Cornelius?" + +"Both! What is that young man to you that his name cannot be severed from +yours?" + +"He is my friend, Cornelius." + +"Why did you never mention his name since my return?" + +"It must have been because I was so much more absorbed in thinking of +what concerned you, than of what concerned myself. I could not otherwise +have failed mentioning the name of William, the only companion and friend +I have had during your absence." + +"The only one, Daisy?" + +"Yes, Cornelius." + +"I suppose you were a good deal together?" + +"Yes, a great deal." + +"Here or at Miss Murray's?" + +"Neither at one nor at the other," I answered smiling. "We seldom went to +Miss Murray's, and as Kate did not like William, nor he her, he never +came here. I met him on the sands." + +"How did you spend your time?" + +"We played together." + +"Played!" + +"Yes, you know we were both quite young then; but as we grew older we +left off playing." + +"And what did you do then?" he asked uneasily. + +"We walked on the beach, climbed up the cliffs, ran down again, sat when +we felt tired and talked." + +"Of what?" + +"Of the sea; of anything." + +There was a pause, then Cornelius said: + +"He is your friend, you say." + +"Yes, Cornelius; and though often rude to others, he is ever kind and +gentle to me; he likes me, you know." + +"Do you like him?" + +"Very much." + +He laid his hand on my head, and bent down on me a glance that seemed as +if it longed to read my very heart. + +"You like him?" he said in a low tone. + +"Yes, Cornelius, I like him." + +More he did not ask; more I did not dare to say, much as I longed to +tell; I only ventured to observe: + +"Do you not want to ask me anything else, Cornelius?" + +"Nothing else," he replied with a sharp glance that made mine sink down +abashed; "but I have a piece of advice to give you: appoint no more +meetings with your friend. I do not mean that there was harm in those +accidental interviews, in which of course there never passed anything but +what you have told." + +"Oh no, never." + +"But discretion is needed by a young girl." + +"Have I been indiscreet?" + +"A little; but do not think I make much of it. It is a mere childish +matter." + +"You do not think anything else?" + +"Nothing else," he said, with a look that again disconcerted me, "I have +indeed advised--" + +"Oh! speak not of advice," I interrupted eagerly. "You know that my +pleasure is to please you, that I do my own will when I do yours, +Cornelius." + +"You believe that," he replied, "but can I, Daisy?" + +"Put me to the test then!" + +We stood side by side. He passed his arm around me, and drew me towards +him. + +"You bid me put you to the test," he said. + +"Yes," I replied, but my heart beat fast. + +"There was a time," he resumed with a look of jealous reproach, "when I +was, I will not say the only friend you had, but the only friend you +thought of or cared for." + +I felt a sharp and sudden pang of pain, but I said nothing. + +"Well!" he impatiently exclaimed. + +"May I not write to him?" I replied, feeling that my colour came and went +beneath his gaze. + +He did not reply. It was plain he would have an entire sacrifice or none. +He clasped me so close, that I was obliged to rest my head on his +shoulder. As he bent over me, my look met his, and from the gaze I seemed +to drink in all the strange and dangerous sweetness of sacrifice. + +"Well!" he said again. + +"Yes," I answered, "all--anything you like, Cornelius." + +I trembled--for my blood rushed to my heart with something like pain and +gladness blending in its rapid flow; but he only saw the tears which +covered my face, and he exclaimed, with reproachful tenderness: + +"You weep because I ask you to give up a childish past, which, childish +as it is, I would give anything to annihilate. Oh! Daisy, Daisy!" + +At once I checked my tears. He saw the effort, and, stooping, he pressed +a long and lingering kiss on my brow. + +"Oh! my darling!" he said, ardently, "do not regret it so much. If I will +share your friendship with none, is it not because I mean to take on +myself the exclusive care of your happiness? Trust in me--in that feeling +be a child again. Alas! I sometimes fear that the calmness and serenity +of childhood are not merely in your years, but also in your nature. Oh! +if, without adding one day to your existence--one dark page to your +experience--I could change this!" + +I tried to smile, but I could not--I felt languid and wretched. My heart +ached at what I had done--at William, given up so utterly, with scarcely +a cause assigned. I wondered if Cornelius, knowing all, would have +exacted the same sacrifice. Once or twice I tried to bring the discourse +round to the point I wished; but he shunned this so carefully, that at +length my eyes opened: Cornelius wished to know nothing. From that moment +I was silent and resigned. + +If endearing language, and every proof of an ardent affection, could have +consoled me, I need not have grieved: but even sitting by Cornelius--- +even listening to him--I was haunted by the image of William vainly +waiting for me at the old meeting-place. I heard his voice reproachfully +exclaiming--now, alas! with how much truth--"You have deceived me!" + +In the course of the day, we received an invitation to take tea with Miss +Murray, in honour of her nephew's return. I said I could not go, and +Kate, with a smile, replied she would sacrifice herself, and allow +Cornelius to remain and keep me company. We spent a quiet evening +together. My head again ached slightly; I was glad of the pretence to lie +on the sofa with closed eyes. Cornelius sat by me, holding my hand in +his, and thus his sister found us on her return. She looked at us with a +pleased face, and said it was well to be a spoiled child like me. + +"By the bye," she carelessly added, "William Murray is as great a bear as +ever. He had been out all day, and looked, when he came in, as if he +longed to knock me down." + +I think I replied, "Indeed." I know that soon after this I went up to my +room, there to learn what new pangs can give to grief, and what new +bitterness to tears--the sense of an affection betrayed. + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + + +I sat to Cornelius as usual on the following day, but not a word did we +exchange concerning what had passed. In the course of the afternoon he +said he no longer wanted me; I left him, glad of a little solitude and +liberty. He joined me in the garden as dusk was falling. He found me +sitting on the bench studying Tasso. He asked me if we should not read +together. I assented, but twice my tears fell on the page: he closed the +book, and said sadly: + +"Daisy, you need not weep; I release you from your promise." + +I started slightly: he continued: + +"I did not think your feelings were so deeply engaged, or I should never +have put you to such a test. Come, do not weep; your time for tears is +past; see your friend as much as you like, and let your pale, unhappy +face reproach me no more that, unable to render you happy myself, I would +not let another do it." + +I could bear no more; every word he uttered pierced mo with a sharper +pang. I hid my face in my hand and exclaimed: + +"Cornelius, you are too good; I do not deserve this; I have seen William; +he has but just left me." + +I looked up, he turned rather pale; but never spoke one word. + +"You are angry with me," I said. + +"Angry with you!" he repeated, smiling sadly, but so kindly, that, +impelled by the same sense of refuge which I had so often felt in my +childish troubles, I threw my arms around his neck, and exclaimed in a +voice broken by tears: + +"Oh, Cornelius, I am so wretched." + +"I am not angry, indeed I am not," he replied, sighing deeply. + +"Oh! it is not that, Cornelius; William is again gone away, and if you +knew all--Oh, what shall I do!" + +I cried bitterly on his shoulder. He half rose as if to put me away; but +he sat down again with fixed brow and compressed lips. + +"What shall you do?" he echoed, "what others have done--you shall bear +it." + +I looked up, amazed at the stern bitterness of his tone, at the cold and +inexorable meaning of his face, which had turned of a sallow paleness. + +"But Cornelius," I exclaimed, much hurt, "I like him--" + +"I don't believe it," he interrupted, biting his lip. "It is a dream--a +fancy--the dream of a girl, of a mere child; all girls think they are in +love; you have done like the rest." + +I felt a burning blush overspread my face; my look sank beneath his; the +hand which he had taken and still held, trembled in his; he dropped it +and said: + +"And is this the end of it all, Daisy? and do you really like that rough +sailor, a mere boy too? Oh, Daisy!" + +I conquered my scruples and my shame. + +"Cornelius." I said, looking up at him, "I must speak to you openly once +for all. I wanted to do so yesterday; you would not hear me then; pray +hear me now." + +"Why so?" he replied, with evident pain, "I know enough, more than +enough." + +"You do not know all." + +"Then I can guess." + +"No, I do not think you can." + +"Well then, speak, Daisy, and do not linger." + +"William, as I told you, has not long left me; he came to bid me good- +bye, and also--but I must begin from the beginning." + +"What else was it that he came for?" asked Cornelius. + +"Let me first tell you the rest." + +"Never mind the rest. What else did he call for?" + +"I must go on my own way. I want you to judge of my conduct, as well as +to know the issue. Do you remember yesterday all I told you concerning my +acquaintance with William?" + +"Every word." + +"You are sure you have forgotten nothing?" + +"Daisy," he exclaimed vehemently, "will you never tell me what he came +for?" + +His look, his tone, commanded a reply. + +"To ask me whether I would not promise to marry him some day," I replied +in a low tone. + +There was a pause, during which I could hear the beating of my own heart. + +"Well," at length said Cornelius, "did you give him that promise?" + +"Guess!" I answered, and that he might not read the truth in my face, I +averted it from his gaze. + +"Guess!" he echoed, with a groan, "imprudent girl, I guess but too +easily. Oh, Daisy! how could you pledge yourself, how could you promise +that which may be the misery of your whole life." + +"Cornelius, I did not promise." + +"But you love him!" he exclaimed with a sort of despair, "and love is +surer than vows." + +In the reply which I then should have made, there was no cause for shame, +yet my eyes sought the ground, my face burned, and I hesitated and +paused. When I at length looked up, dreading to meet the glance of +Cornelius, I perceived that his eyes were riveted on William Murray, who +had come up the steep path unheard, and now stood leaning on the low +wooden gate, looking at us sadly and gravely. I was the first to break +the awkward pause that followed. + +"I thought you were gone. William," I said, rising, and taking a step +towards him. + +"I could not make up my mind to it," he replied, giving me a look of half +reproach. "I could not go without bidding you once more good-bye." + +He held out his hand to me; I gave him mine across the gate. He took it, +and keeping it clasped in his, he turned to Cornelius, and said with +repressed emotion: + +"I don't know why I should be ashamed of it--I am not ashamed of it--Mr. +O'Reilly, I love her with my whole heart. I don't think there is another +girl like her; at least I am very sure there is not another one for me. I +think she likes me; but, hard as I begged, she would promise me nothing-- +she could not she said without your knowledge or consent; I said I wanted +nobody's knowledge or consent, to like her. We parted rather angrily; but +I thought better of it, and came back to speak to you, since she wished +it. And look! even here in your presence, she takes her hand from me, +lest you should not like it." + +I did, indeed, withdraw my hand from his, as he spoke, partly because +from friendship William had gone to love, partly because I had met the +look of Cornelius, which disturbed me. + +"Mr. O'Reilly," said William, looking at him very fixedly, "do you +object?" + +"No," coldly answered Cornelius. + +William opened the gate, and stepped in with a triumphant look. + +"Do you hear that, Daisy?" he exclaimed. + +"Do not misunderstand me," quietly said Cornelius. "I do not object; but +if Daisy wishes for my advice, I certainly advise her not to enter at +seventeen into an engagement destined to last her whole life. The human +heart changes; it will often loathe the very object of its former wishes, +and often, too, learn to long too late for that which it once dreaded as +utter misery." + +"_I_ shall not change!" exclaimed William, giving him an impatient look: +"but of course if you advise Daisy against promises, there will be none. +I need none to bind me to her; and if she will only promise to try and +like me--" + +"And why should she?" sharply interrupted Cornelius; "what have you done +for her to deserve such a promise? What proof has she that you will +always deserve it, even as much as you do now?" + +"I'll tell you what, Mr. O'Reilly," said William, with sparkling eyes, +"my opinion is, that though you make a fair show, like most of your +countrymen, it is all a humbug, and that you want to keep Daisy for +yourself!" + +Cornelius laughed scornfully, as if disdaining to resent the petulant +jealousy of a boy; but I saw his colour rise, and his brow knit slightly. +I hastened to interfere; I stepped up to William; I looked up in his +face; I took his hands in mine, and pressed them to my heart. + +"William," I said sadly, "why did you come back? I wish I had spoken more +plainly: I love you, but not, indeed, as you mean; I love you as my +friend, as a brother, but not otherwise." + +"Not otherwise!" he said, seeking aw look; "that is hard, Daisy, not +otherwise." + +I turned my head away. + +"And yet we have been such good friends!" + +"And are still, William." + +"Then be my best friend." + +"Gladly." + +"Well! what is to marry but to be best friends? Do I not like you more +than any other creature? Would I not know you among a thousand? Have I a +thought I would not tell you? Not one. And, indeed, I think you, too, +like me more than you think now." + +"No, William, I do not." + +"Do not be in such a hurry to reply," he answered, with a wishful look; +"it may take you longer to find out, than it did me." + +In his earnestness he had forgotten all about the presence of Cornelius. +His importunity wrung the truth from me. + +"William," I said, "this cannot be; I might promise to try to like you as +you wish; but I could not keep that promise. There is a power and a charm +that binds me to home, a tie that links me to Cornelius and to Kate, and +which I cannot break even for your sake. Believe me, whilst I remain with +them, I can love you very dearly; but if I were with you I should be too +home-sick and too heart-sick to think of you, William. If we went out +together, I know that even with my arm within yours, or your hand in +mine, my eyes would ever be seeking out for them, my feet leading me to +their dwelling. I like you, William, I like you dearly, but I cannot give +you my whole heart." + +William gave me one look; the tears rushed in his eyes; he dropped my +hands. + +"God bless you, Daisy," he said, and turned away. The gate closed on him; +he slowly descended the path. I did not call him back, but sitting down +on the bench, I hid my face in my hands and wept bitterly. I felt and +felt truly that we had parted to meet no more; that my faithful companion +and friend was lost to me, and the pleasant tie of my childhood and youth +broken for ever. + +For awhile Cornelius let me weep; then he did his best to soothe and +console me. The very sound of his voice brought comfort to my heart; my +tears lost their bitterness, at length they ceased to flow, and I could +hear and speak with calmness. + +"And so," said Cornelius, bending over me, his right hand clasping mine, +his left resting on the back of the bench behind me, "and so it was only +friendship after all which you felt for William Murray." + +"You seem surprised, Cornelius." + +"There was every appearance and every chance against it." + +"I don't grant the chance." + +"Because you have lived an isolated life, and know not that the first +thing a youth and maiden, situated as you and William were, think of, is +to get engaged as fast as they can." + +"Was that what you thought yesterday, Cornelius?" + +"Why did you not undeceive me?" + +"Why did you not ask?" + +"I did not like to put the question." + +"Nor I to speak unquestioned. I had never dreamed that William, with whom +I was so free, so friendly, with whom I played, picked up shells, and ran +about, could think of such a thing. How could you, Cornelius?" + +"Why not? he was your friend, and a fine young man, too." + +"Yes," I replied, "and as good-looking as a very fair man can be. But his +looks have nothing to do with what I mean, Cornelius." + +"What is it you mean?" + +"That he is a mere boy; Kate always called him a boy, and I always +thought him one. You do not think I could have been so free with a young +man. Indeed, no, Cornelius. And then he is a sailor!" + +"Do you object to that?" + +"Most decidedly." + +"Why, what would you like, Daisy?" + +"I don't know; but I know what I do not like, and a Lord Admiral himself +would not tempt me." + +"I had no idea you had so many good reasons for rejecting him," said +Cornelius, smiling; "he is fair, a boy, and a sailor--have you anything +else?" + +"Yes, Cornelius," I replied, looking up into his face, "I have known him +too long--almost as long as you." + +"Indeed!" he said, abstractedly, "is old acquaintance so great a sin in +your opinion, Daisy?" + +"Not a sin, Cornelius; but I have liked William like a brother, and I +cannot like him otherwise." + +"Daisy, it seems to me that an old and known friend is in general much +preferable to the stranger." + +"That is a good reason, Cornelius, and I am talking of a feeling. Mine is +so strong that, much as I like William, I feel a sort of relief in +thinking we shall not meet in haste." + +"Oh! Daisy," sadly said Cornelius, "do you impute that poor boy's +affection for you, as a crime to him." + +"Heaven forbid; but can I help feeling that the charm of our friendship +is gone? He liked me one way, I liked him another; after that, what can +there be between us? Could I again be free with him? I could not; and to +be cold and constrained when I was once so trusting and so frank, would +be worse than utter separation. I would rather never see him more, than +feel my friendship for him breaking miserably away, Cornelius." + +I spoke as I felt, with a warmth and earnestness that again made my eyes +overflow. Cornelius heard me with an attentive look, then placing his +hand on my arm, said, quietly-- + +"Oh, Daisy, what a lesson!" + +"A lesson, Cornelius?" + +"Yes, a lesson, which I, for one, shall not forget. If ever I find myself +circumstanced as was your friend, Daisy, I shall have the wisdom not to +cast away friendship before I am sure of love." + +"Cornelius," I said, earnestly, "do you blame me?" + +"No, no," he quickly replied. + +"Because if you thought I should--" + +"No," he interrupted; "not at all. Oh, Daisy! do you not see I am too +selfish to wish to make a present of you to the first boy or man who +chooses to take a fancy to you?" + +"And I hope I know better than to leave you and Kate," I replied, +confidently. "Oh, Cornelius!" I added, with sudden emotion, "how can +daughters leave their father's house for that of a stranger?" + +He was bending over me with the look and attitude which, even more than +act or speech, imply the fond and caressing mood; but, on hearing this, +he reddened, drew back, and said, in a short, vexed tone:-- + +"Don't be filial, Daisy." + +"Don't be alarmed," I replied, smiling, "I have not forgotten that you +called me your friend the other day, and I am going to avail myself of +the privilege." + +"Are you?" he answered, pacified at once. + +"Yes, I am going to be very bold." + +He smiled. + +"To ask a great favour." + +He looked delighted and inquisitive. + +"You know," I continued, in my most persuasive accents, and passing my +arm within his, "you know it is settled that I am always to remain with +you and Kate; but--" + +"But," he echoed. + +"But is it settled that you are to remain with us?" + +"Why not?" he replied, looking astonished. + +"You spoke of Spain the other evening. What should you want to go to +Spain for? I think it would be a great loss of time; besides--" + +"Besides, Daisy?" he repeated, smoothing my hair. + +"Besides, I want you to remain with us." + +"For how long, Daisy?" + +"For ever." + +I said it, smiling, for I dreamt not he would consent. + +"For ever," he repeated, with quiet assent. + +I looked at him with breathless joy. He smiled. + +"Ask me for something else," he said. + +"I dare not," I replied, drawing in a long breath, "lest you should take +back the first gift to punish my presumption." + +"Your presumption! Oh, Daisy!" + +I gave him a quick look; as our eyes met, I read in his the dangerous and +intoxicating knowledge, that he who for seven years had been my master, +now voluntarily abdicated that throne of authority where two so seldom +sit in peace, and was calling me to something more than equality. My +heart beat, my face flushed; I looked at him proudly. + +"And so," I said, a little agitatedly, "I am really to be your friend. +How good!--how kind! But I am not to obey you now?" I asked, breaking +off. + +"Don't name the word," he replied, impatiently. + +"How odd!" I observed, both startled and amused. "How odd that I, who +used to feel so much afraid of you, when you used to chide, punish, turn +out of the room--" + +"I fear," interrupted Cornelius, looking uneasy, "I was rather rude +then." + +"You were not always civil. You once called me a little monkey. Another +time--" + +"Pray don't!" he hastily observed, looking annoyed and disconcerted. +"Tell me rather what I am to give you. Are there not shops at Ryde?" + +"As if I should fancy anything out of a shop." + +"And what is there that does not come out of a shop?" + +"What a question for an artist!" + +"Have I anything you would really fancy?" eagerly inquired Cornelius. + +"Would you give me your picture, if I were to ask you for it?" + +"Would you ask me for it?" + +"No, for I want you to sell it." + +"And will you not always want me to sell my pictures?" + +"And is there nothing you will not sell?" + +I alluded to his Italian drawings, from which Cornelius had often +declared nothing should induce him to part. He understood me, for he +smiled; but eluded the subject by asking if we should not go in. I +assented. We entered the house, and spent, as usual, a quiet evening. + +When I woke the next morning, the first object that met my eyes was the +portfolio of Italian drawings, lying on the table by me. Never had I been +so quick in dressing as I was then. I hastened downstairs to the parlour. +Cornelius sat reading the newspaper by the table. I went up to him, and +standing behind him, gently took it from his hand. + +"Why so?" he said, demurring. + +"Oh! you know. But I cannot thank you. All I can say is. I shall never +forget that what you would not have given for money, when you wanted +money, you gave to me for pure love and friendship. I shall never forget, +Cornelius, when you are a rich man and a great man, that when you were +but a poor, obscure artist, you gave me all a poor, obscure artist has to +give." + +He did not reply. I stood behind him, with my two hands leaning on the +back of his chair. He took them, and gently clasped them around his neck. +I stooped, and touching with my lips his bold and handsome brow, I could +not help saying: + +"Oh, my friend! shall I ever have another friend like you?" + +"Indeed, I hope not," he replied, laughing: and in the glass opposite us, +I saw Kate smiling, as she stood looking on in the half gloom of the open +door. + +The heart of youth is light. I liked William. I was sorry for him, but I +did not let my remembrance of him press on me too sadly. Had I wished it, +it would scarcely have been in my power to be unhappy, when I saw and +felt that he who was dearest to me of God's creatures, now loved me as +blindly and as devotedly as ever I had loved him. + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + + +At the end of a fortnight, Kate spoke of returning to our old home in the +Grove, which had been vacant for some time. She resolved to go first with +Jane and set all to rights, and to leave Cornelius and me to the care of +a deaf and half-blind old dame. It was no use, she said, to bring us in +the mess. When all was ready, she would write to us; and, as the +furniture was not particularly valuable, we could just lock up Rock +Cottage, and thus the labours of Cornelius need not be interrupted. He +was then working hard at his Young Girl Reading, and entered quite into +the spirit of this arrangement. + +When Kate had been gone above ten days, she wrote to say we might leave +whenever we pleased. I felt delighted, but noticed, with concern, that +the prospect of our return affected Cornelius very differently. For +several days he looked pale and unwell, yet there appeared about him no +sign of physical ailment. He seemed in a strange state of restlessness +and fever, and wandered about the house like an uneasy spirit. Two or +three times he took long lonely walks, from which he came in so worn and +languid-looking, that I once asked uneasily: + +"What ails you, Cornelius?" + +"Nothing. How flushed you look. Is anything the matter with you?" + +"I have been stooping packing up--that is all." + +I returned to the task. He moved away, then came back several times, as +if to address me, but never spoke. At tea time, I noticed, with concern, +that he touched nothing. I said I was sure he was ill. He denied it; but +when our aged servant bad removed the tray, he came and sat by me, made +me put by my work, and, taking my two hands in his, began looking at my +face with a strange troubled gaze--like one who beholds things in a +dream--far and dim. + +"What is it?" I asked, a little uneasily. + +"How pale you look!" was his only reply. + +"I feel tired. Sewing there after tea, my eyes seemed to close +involuntarily." + +"They are closing now. You need sleep, poor child. Go up to your room." + +"Have you nothing to say to me?" + +"It will do to-morrow. Go! a long night's rest will do you so much good. +Sleep well and long." + +I said it was too early yet, but even as I spoke, a heaviness not to be +conquered by will, pressed down my eyelids. He urged the point and I +yielded. How soon I slept that night; how long, deep and peaceful were my +slumbers! how light and happy I felt when the morning sun awoke me, and +opening my window, I drank in with delight the air still cool with the +dews of night. I came down in a happy mood, and ran out to join Cornelius +in the garden. He stood by the pine tree, smoking and looking at the sea +in a fit of abstraction so deep, that he never heard me, until I passed +my arm within his, and said: + +"How are you to-day?" + +"Quite well, child." + +"Then let us have a good, long walk," I said eagerly. "Let us visit once +more our old haunts, and take a few green images to smoky London. Shall +we?" + +"As you please, Daisy." + +"I do please. I have a pastoral longing for breezy freshness, lanes, +dells, and streams flowing in the shade. So let as go in to breakfast." + +He yielded, but with little sympathy for my impatience, he lingered at +the meal for an hour and more. When I sought to hurry him, he invariably +replied: + +"There is time enough." + +I went up to dress; when I came down again, I found him in the garden, +walking up and down the path. I joined him, and said "I was quite ready." + +"Are you?" he quietly answered and continued his walk. + +I followed him, impatient at his dilatoriness; but he seemed in no haste, +for as he might have spoken on any other morning, he said: + +"I like this garden, Daisy. Spite of the sea air, flowers seem to thrive +here. I never saw a finer rose than this. Take it." + +He gathered it, and gave it to me as he spoke. I murmured a little. This +rose was to have been the pride of the bouquet I meant to take to Kate. + +"There are plenty left," he replied, gathering a few more; then, looking +at his watch, carelessly said: + +"It was time to go." + +I asked if we should take the path that led to the beach. + +"Why not go by Leigh, you were wishing for green fields!" + +"True; besides we can come back by the sands." + +He did not reply. I took his arm; we traversed the house, and went down +the steep path, which had seen some of our first walks in the pleasant +lanes and meadows of Leigh. + +"Only think," I observed after a while, "I have brought the flowers you +gave me. They will be quite withered by the time we are home again." + +Cornelius stopped abruptly, and held me back. + +"Mind that stone," he said, "you might have hurt yourself. Why did you +not look before you?" + +"Because I feel as if I trod on air," I replied gaily, "and when one +feels so, it seems quite ridiculous to trouble one's self with stones, +&c. I don't know when I have been in a mood so light and happy. I feel as +if this green lane need have no end or turning, and this pleasant day no +sunset." + +He did not answer. My flights of fancy won no response from his graver +mood; the dazzling brightness of the deep blue sky, the green freshness +of the fields, seemed lost upon him, lost the charm and sweetness of the +day. But even his unusual seriousness could not subdue the buoyancy and +life which I felt rising within me. My blood flowed, as it only flows in +youth or in spring, light, warm and rapid, making of every sensation a +brief delight, of every aspect and change of nature an exquisite +enjoyment, tempered with that under-current of subtle pain which runs +through over-wrought emotions, and subdues at their very highest pitch +the sweetest and purest joys of mortal sense. I walked on, like one in a +dream, scarcely heeding where we went. At length Cornelius stopped, and +said: + +"Shall we not rest here awhile?" + +We stood in that green and lonely nook, by the banks of the quiet stream +where we had once lingered through the hours of a summer noon. It so +chanced that though we had since then often passed by the spot, we had +never made it our resting-place. The thought of once more spending here +an hour or two was pleasant. I took off my bonnet and suspended it from +the branches of the willow; I sat again beneath it; Cornelius +unconsciously took the very attitude in which I remembered him--half +reclining on the bank, with his brow resting on the palm of his hand. The +same bending trees above, with their glimpses of blue sky; the same clear +stream flowing on, with its silent world below, and its green wilderness +beyond; the same murmur of low and broken sounds around us; the same +sweet sense of freshness and solitude made past weeks seem like one +unbroken summer day. I felt that sitting there, I could forget how +quickly pass on hours, how rapid is the course of time. + +"Daisy!" suddenly said Cornelius, looking up, "how is it you do not ask +me what I had to tell you last night?" + +"I had forgotten all about it," I answered, smiling, "What is it, +Cornelius?" + +He did not reply at once, but again taking my hands in his, he looked at +me so sadly, that my heart sank within me. + +"Cornelius," I exclaimed, "you have not news--of--Kate?" + +"No," he quickly replied, "I have sad news for you, my poor child; but +Kate is well." + +"What is it then? What is it, Cornelius? Has she lost her money? Is the +house burned down? What is it?" + +"Nothing like this, Daisy; you would never guess--1 must tell you. God +alone knows how hard I find it. Daisy, we are going to part." + +My arms fell down powerless; I did not speak; I did not weep; I was +stunned with the blow. An expression full of trouble and remorse passed +over his face. + +"What have I done?" he exclaimed in an agitated tone, "I wished to spare +you until the last moment. Oh! Daisy, for God's sake do not look so." + +I felt, and I dare say I looked, almost inanimate. He took me in his arms +and bending over me, eagerly begged me to forgive him. + +"It was to spare you, my darling," he said, "I was going to tell you last +night, but I thought I would let you sleep in peace, and I kept the weary +secret to myself, as I have done these three days." + +I heard him drearily. It was true then, an actual, dread reality. I +summoned strength to ask-- + +"Why must we part, Cornelius?" + +"Why?" he echoed sadly. + +"You must not go, I will not let you," I exclaimed passionately, "or if +you go, you must take me with you. I have money of my own; I will be no +cost to you, but I will not leave you." + +He wanted to speak; I laid my hand on his lips. + +"I tell you that you must either stay at home or take me with you," I +said wilfully, "I too want to see Spain." + +"Daisy, I am not going to Spain." + +"Where then? To Italy? What for? Who have you left there that is so very +dear? Oh! I see! I see! Go, Cornelius, go." And I disengaged myself with +wounded pride from the embrace he could find it in his heart to bestow, +with that heart full--as I thought in the jealousy of the moment--of +another. + +"That's right, Daisy!" he replied bitterly, "that's right! Make me feel +to the end the fever and torment of the last two months." + +"Are you or are you not going away to marry?" I said, confronting him. + +"Marry!" he echoed in an impatient and irritated tone, "Marry! I don't +think of it." + +A load was raised from my heart. I breathed. I again. His marriage was +the only evil to which I could see no remedy. + +By the fright it had given me, I perceived how much I had dreaded it; but +a vague instinct forbade me to show him this. I quickly changed the +subject. + +"Take me with you," I said entreatingly, "I will give you no trouble." + +"Trouble! Oh, that indeed I were going away and you with me," he half +groaned. "Blessed would be that trouble; too sweet, too delightful the +task of bearing you away, alone with me, to some far land." + +"Cornelius," I said, "tell me all at once. Since you are not going away-- +what is it?" + +"I suppose," he answered after a brief pause, "you know, though you have +never alluded to it, that this park before us is your grandfather's; that +the house of which we can discern the roof through this grove of elm and +beech, is Thornton House. I am taking you there now." + +"But I shall go back to Rock Cottage with you?" I exclaimed eagerly. "I +shall go to London with you, and live there in the house of Kate. Shall I +not?" + +He did not answer; but he half averted his troubled face; his gaze +shunned mine. + +"Cornelius," I said, clinging to him, "I will not go and live with Mr. +Thornton, I will not. I don't love him, and I love you and Kate as my +life. He treated me unkindly, and you took me and reared me. Unless you +turn me out of your home, I will not leave it for his." + +I spoke with passion and vehemence; holding fast to him, as if to brave +the power that would seek to divide us. + +"Do not speak so wildly," he replied in a soothing tone; "God knows I +wish not to compel you--you are free. Daisy." + +"Then I stay with you and Kate," I cried throwing my arms around his +neck. + +"Will you?" he said with a wistful look, and pressing me to his heart for +a moment; but the next he put me away with a deep sigh, and added: + +"No, Daisy, you cannot, and would not if you could. Do not interrupt me: +I have much to say, and I must go far back. You know how your parents +married?" + +"Secretly, I believe." + +"Yes: one evening your mother, then a girl of your age, left her father's +house; she never came back, and died, soon after your birth, a +disobedient, unforgiven child." + +I was sitting by Cornelius with my hand in his, and my head resting on +his shoulder. + +"He is not my father," I thought, "yet never could I forsake him thus." + +He continued: + +"This you know, but I scarcely think you know how bitterly your father +repented this act of his youth. He often spoke of it to me. 'Cornelius, +never rob a man of his child,' he said, 'it is a great sin.' He was +right, Daisy; it is a great sin; I felt it then; I feel it far more now; +for though you are not my child, I have reared you, and I know that +affection is jealous; that to resign a daughter to a stranger, must +always be bitter, but that to have her actually stolen from you; to be +robbed of the pleasant thing which has for years been your delight and +pride, to feel that it is gone beyond recall, the property of another, I +know that this is too sharp a pang for speech, almost for thought. I have +thought of such a thing; I have thought that another man might step in +between you and me, that he might rob me, whilst I looked on powerless +and deserted. My God!" he suddenly added, pressing me closer to him, his +eyes kindling, his lips trembling, "I have also thought that if it were +not for your sake, there was nothing I would not have the heart to do to +that man." + +"You have thought that?" I said, reproachfully, "as if such a thing could +ever happen, Cornelius." + +"If I speak so," he replied, "it is to show you what may be the feelings +of the wronged father, and when he is a high-minded man like your father, +of him by whom he had been wronged. It was the knowledge of this that +made me take you to Mr. Thornton. Oh, how could I be so blind as to call +in a stranger to share with me the exclusive and precious privilege +Heaven had bestowed, but which I knew not then how to prize! You know, +Daisy, that when you were at Mrs. Gray's, I wrote to Mr. Thornton, to +obtain back again the boon my folly had forfeited; he cared little for +you; he knew you were fretting to return; he consented, but on a +condition, to the fulfilment of which I pledged my word--that word, +Daisy, which it is death to a man's honour to break--that, whenever he +wished it, you were his to claim. He was abroad then, but he returned +about a week ago, and his first act has been to write and remind me of my +promise." + +"You pledged yourself for me, Cornelius?" I said dismayed. + +"Oh! Daisy, forgive me. I acted as I thought your father would have +wished me to act; besides, I could not have had you otherwise." + +"And Mr. Thornton actually wants me!" I exclaimed desperately. + +"Yes," sadly replied Cornelius. + +"But I do not want him; I will not have him, or his wealth, Cornelius." + +"He offers you no wealth, my poor child. Every one knows that his +extravagance has made him poor; the estate is mortgaged and entailed; his +personal property is small; he has little to give, nothing to bequeath. +He is still, as when you knew him, wrapped up in his books." + +"Then what does he want me for, Cornelius?" + +"To be the charm of his home, and the delight of his heart and eyes," +replied Cornelius, in a voice full of love, fondness, and sorrow. "To be +to him all that you have been, and never more can be to me. I knew not +how to value you formerly; and now that you have become all I could +imagine, I am not allowed to possess you in peace! Scarcely have I +recovered from the dread of seeing you throw yourself away on a mere boy, +scarcely do I deem myself secure, when peril comes from the quarter +whence I least feared it, and I am despoiled of my heart's best +treasure." + +"If you liked me," I said, in a low tone, "you would not, because you +could not give me up." + +"If I liked you!" began Cornelius, but he said no more. + +"Yes, if you liked me!" I exclaimed in all the passion of my woe; "if you +liked me, Cornelius, you would feel what I feel--that such a separation +is like death. Tell me that your art requires your absence, I can bear +it; tell me that you are too poor to keep me, that I must go, and earn my +bread amongst strangers, and I shall bear that, too; for I shall look to +a happy future, and a blessed reunion. But this--this, Cornelius, my very +heart shrinks from it. I feel that you are to follow one path; and that, +though my very being clings to you and Kate, I must tread in another, and +see you both for ever receding from before my aching eyes. I am not yet +eighteen, Cornelius, and I am so happy! I cannot afford to waste my +youth, and throw away my happiness; and if you cared for me, would you +not feel so, too?" + +I spoke with involuntary reproach. + +"Oh, Daisy!" he exclaimed so scornfully that I immediately repented, "you +think me indifferent, because, not to add to your grief, I am silent on +mine. You speak of your sorrow; you do not ask yourself what will be to +me the cost of this separation. How shall I return alone to the home we +left together this morning? What shall I say to Kate--to Kate who reared +you--when she asks me for her child'? Why here am I actually giving up to +a total stranger, the very thing I most long to keep; here am I taking +you from my home, and leading you to the home of another; here am I +placing you in the very circumstances that are likely to make me lose you +for ever. You are young, Daisy, very young. You will be flattered, +caressed, seduced out of old affections, almost unconsciously; and I +shall not be there to guard my rights. I know that absence, time, the +world will conspire to efface me from your heart; I know it, and yet I +accept this." + +"But why so?" I asked; "why so?" + +"Because," he replied, with a fixed look, and compressed lips, "because +to keep even you, Daisy, with the sense of my own engrossing selfishness, +violated honour and trust betrayed upon me, would be gall and wormwood to +my soul." + +"But it is not you who keep me, Cornelius, if it is I who insist on +remaining; if I disobey you, brave your authority, say you had no right +to pledge yourself for me, and that, whether you like it or not, I will +stay with Kate, what can you do then?" + +His colour came and went; he turned upon me a strange, troubled look; his +lip quivered; he took my hand in his, and almost crushed it, then dropped +it as if it were fire. + +"Tempt me not," he said, in a low tone, turning away his look as he +spoke. "Tempt me not, for God's sake. I am but flesh and blood--I cannot +always answer for myself. There are bounds to self-denial, and limits to +self-subjection." + +I did not answer, but I passed my arm around his neck, and I laid my head +on his shoulder. + +"Daisy, Daisy, my child!" he exclaimed, "do you know what you are doing? +Do you know what it is you want to make me do?" + +I did not reply; but I wept and sobbed freely. He looked at me one +moment, turned away, looked again, and turned away no more. He pressed me +to his heart--he bent over me--he hushed my grief--he kissed away my +tears. + +"Be it so," he said, desperately. "I have resisted your dangerous +tenderness, I cannot resist your grief. Yes, I will break my word to the +living, my duty to the dead. I will let it be said of Cornelius O'Reilly, +to gratify his own desires he betrayed his trust--he meanly deceived the +ignorant affection of the child he had reared. Let those alone dare judge +me who, like me, have been tempted." + +"Then you do keep me!" I exclaimed, laughing and crying for joy. + +"Oh! yes, I do keep you," he replied, bending on me a look that seemed as +if he would attract and gather my whole being into his--a look that, +through all my blindness, startled me: but, as it lasted--for a moment +only. "Yes, I keep you, Daisy Burns. You have asked to remain with me, +and you shall. I will bind you to my home and to me by bonds neither you +nor others shall dare to break. Again I say, let those alone who have +passed through this fiery trial, and conquered, dare to judge me." + +I wondered at the repressed vehemence of his tone--at the defiance of his +look--at the mingled trouble and scorn which I read in his countenance, +usually so pleasant and good-humoured. I wondered, for I felt not thus, +as if striving against my own wishes, and arguing with some hidden enemy. +With my head still reclining on his shoulder, my hand in his, my mind, +heart, and whole being conscious that we were not to be severed--I felt +steeped in peace and serene happiness. My eyelids, heavy with recent +tears, could almost have closed in slumber, so deep were now the calm and +repose that had followed this storm of grief. + +Therefore I wondered--I could not but wonder--that if he, too, felt +happy, there should be in his look and mien so few of the tokens of joy-- +for, surely, joy never wore that flushed aspect and troubled glance. It +shocked me to see that the meaning of his face was both guilty and +resolute--that he looked like one who does a wrong thing, who knows it, +but who will do that thing, come what will. He detected my uneasy look, +and said, quickly: + +"Never mind, Daisy; I take on myself the deed and the sin. I care not for +the world's opinion--I care not for its esteem." + +"The world, Cornelius! Why what can it say?" + +"Accuse me of selfishness. But I say it again: I care not." + +I laughed. He gave me a look of pain. + +"Do not laugh so," he said; "do not. I never yet heard that light, +girlish laugh of yours, but it presaged some new irritating torment. What +are you going to say now?" + +I saw his temper was chafed. I answered, soothingly: + +"What can I say, Cornelius, save that only your sensitive conscience +could imagine the accusation of selfishness? Those who think you selfish +must be crazed. Why here am I to keep, a girl of seventeen, with little +or no money, and you not a rich man yet! Why any other man would think me +a bore--a burden--and be glad enough to get rid of me. But you are so +disinterested, so generous, that you cannot see that." + +I felt more than I saw the change which these words wrought on Cornelius. +It was not that his look turned away; it was not that the arm which +encircled me, released its hold; but it was as if a cold shadow suddenly +stepped in between us: the life and warmth departed from his clasp; the +light and meaning of his look retreated inwardly, to depths where mine +could not follow. + +"You think me disinterested and generous," he said at length. "Do you +mean that I do not care about you?" + +"No, Cornelius, I know better; but your affection is disinterested. Oh! +my friend, my more than father, though you could not be my father, how +often have I felt that other girls might well be jealous of me, if they +but knew, as I know, what it is to have a friend, who is not bound to you +by the ties of blood, yet in whom you can trust utterly; on whom you can +rely without fear--as I do with you, Cornelius." + +"Do not," he replied, half pushing me away, and averting his face, "do +not, Daisy. I dare not trust myself more than I would trust any other +man; and, if I were you, I would not trust the man who could break his +word--even for my sake." + +The words startled me; they woke a chord which, do what I would, I could +not lull to sleep or silence. His look and tone as he said, "if I were +you, I would not trust the man who could break his word--even for my +sake," told me that the sting of his broken word and tarnished honour had +already entered, and would never again leave his soul. Then I saw and +felt my selfishness in not redeeming his pledge, in dragging him down +from that just pride which he took in his unblemished life. I saw, I felt +it all, and there rose within me one of those agonizing struggles without +which we should not know the power of life; which are the new and bitter +birth of our being. + +Kate and Cornelius O'Reilly had the deep religious feeling of their race. +They made not religion the subject of frequent speech, but they bore its +love in their hearts; above all, dear and sacred in their home, was held +the name of their Redeemer and their God. His spirit, the spirit of self- +denial and sacrifice, appeared in their lives, obscured by human weakness +no doubt, but a living spirit still. How much had Kate done for her +brother! How much had that brother done for me! What had I ever done for +either? Nothing, nothing. And now that the hour was come, the hour of +self-renonciation, I refused to bear my burden: I cast it on Cornelius. I +knew how sacred he held a promise; how galling it would be for him to +feel within himself the consciousness of violated truth. I knew it, and +with this knowledge came the dread conviction that I was not free; that +duty, honour, love, all enjoined the same fatal sacrifice. + +I said nothing; but Cornelius could feel me, for I felt myself, trembling +from head to foot; there were dews on my brow, and a death-like chill had +seized my heart; for a moment the inward struggle, "I cannot leave +him,"--"thou must," seemed like what we imagine of the spirit torn from +the flesh; as bitter and as brief. I submitted silently; but Cornelius +required not speech to know it. For a moment he turned pale; for a moment +his lips parted, as if to detain me; but he checked the impulse, and said +not a word. + +I could not weep now; my grief was too bitter. I knew I was turning away +from the warmth of my life, to enter a barren, sunless region; and I +already felt upon me its desolateness and its gloom. The sacrifice was +made; but in no humble, no resigned spirit. My whole being revolted +against it with mute and powerless resentment. A captive in the subtle +net of fate, I felt as if I could have struggled, even unto death, +against those slender bonds which I did not dare to break. Cornelius +watched me silently, and read on my face what was passing within me. + +"Daisy," he said, in a low, sad tone, "remember we are not men or women +until our hearts are mastered, until our passions--ay, the best and +purest--lie subdued." + +The words subdued my resentful mood to a sorrow more tender and holy. My +burden was heavy, but was it more than I could bear? Daughter of the +cross, should I dare to repine? I yielded; I tasted the bitter joy which +those who bravely drain the cup of sacrifice find in its dregs--a strange +sort of sweetness, to be felt, not described, and, alas! not to be +envied. + +"Cornelius!" I replied, and my faltering voice grew more firm as I +uttered his name--"Cornelius, I am willing. Your word shall be redeemed!" + +I was going to rise, but lightly resting his hand on my shoulder, he +detained me. He stooped, and laid his lips on my brow. He did not say so, +but I knew that this was his farewell kiss--the seal set on the love, +care, and tenderness of years. The embrace lasted a moment only; the next +he had risen. I rose too; I tied my bonnet-strings; he helped me to wrap +my scarf around me: mechanically I picked up the flowers he had given me; +then silently took his arm, and left the spot where I had decided my +destiny. + + + +CHAPTER X. + + + +To reach Thornton House, we had to follow the windings of the stream for +some time; cross a one-arched bridge that spanned it, then enter the +solitary path that led to the old lodge and iron gate. We had not far to +go, but my heart seemed to sink with every step I took; as I perceived +the dark trees of the park rising before us, a sudden faintness seized +me. I stopped short, and laying my head on the shoulder of Cornelius, I +said: + +"Let me cry before you give me up, Cornelius; let me cry--or my heart +will break." + +"I give you up!" he echoed, his eyes kindling, "no mortal man shall make +me do that, Daisy. I shall redeem my word by taking you to your +grandfather; but from the moment I leave Thornton House, my mind shall +have but one thought, my will but one aim: to get you back." + +Struck with his defiant tone, I raised my head, and checking my tears, +drew back to see him better. He met my look firmly. + +"It is fair play," he said, "so long as you are mine, I will not break my +pledge by breathing a word to keep or secure you--even with you for the +stakes, I would scorn to cheat--but once he fancies you his, I say you +are mine, to win if I can. He may guard you as jealously as ever a Turk +his Sultana--I shall still outwit and defy him--cost me what it will-- +come what may--I will have you back again." + +A slight frown knit his brow; his brown eyes were bent on me, with a look +both ardent and resolute; there was will and confidence in the smile +which curled his lip, and power and daring in his mien. + +"Cornelius," I said a little startled, "how will you do it?" + +"Leave that to me, Daisy." + +"Then, if this is no parting after all," I observed rather perplexed, +"why were you so grieved, and why have you let me grieve, Cornelius?" + +His face fell. He sighed profoundly. + +"Why?" he said, "why? because, alas! my own will cannot do all. Oh, +Daisy! I dread you. I dread you deeply! What avails it to me that I may +prevail against others, when with a word you can render me powerless?" + +He gave me a look of mingled anxiety and doubt. I wanted him to explain +himself; but he would not go beyond saying that on me it all depended; an +assertion which he repeated with a sigh. I believed him, and passed from +grief to sudden gladness. + +"Then consider it settled," I said laughing joyously. "I am not leaving +you, Cornelius. I am going on a week's visit or so to my good grandpapa. +Tell Johnstone to send me only the little black trunk, but to put my work +in it. I want to have it ready for Kate." + +We were standing in the path. Cornelius looked down, with a fond yet +troubled smile, into my upraised face. + +"Go on!" he observed, "it sounds too delightful to be true. It is but a +dream which the first rude touch of reality will dispel; and yet I like +to delude myself and listen; go on!" + +I did go on, laughing at his credulity. + +"You must write to Kate," I observed, "and tell her that you are waiting +for me. I shall not keep you long; just a week for form's sake." + +"God grant it," he replied fervently; and we resumed our walk. + +We found Thornton House as gloomy and neglected as ever. The court was +overgrown with grass and weeds; the fountain was still a ruin; the ivy +grew thick and dark on the walls, and the yews and cypresses behind only +looked more sombre and melancholy for rising, as they did now, in the gay +sunlight. + +When Cornelius knocked at the door, I seemed to expect that the little +servant would again open and attempt to oppose our entrance; but, in her +stead, a tall, straight housemaid appeared in the gloomy aperture; and, +on hearing the name of Cornelius, showed us at once into the same room +where, seven years before, we had been ushered by her predecessor. And +there, too, surrounded by his books, his papers, maps, globes, stuffed +animals, insects, geological specimens, shells, and scientific +instruments, we found my grandfather, seated in his arm-chair and +unchanged, save for a few more wrinkles. + +Mr. Thornton received us with abrupt courtesy. When the preliminary +greetings had been exchanged, he gave me a sharp look, and startled me +with the remark addressed to Cornelius-- + +"They are not at all alike." + +Implying, I supposed, that my former and my present self were two +individuals. + +"Not at all," replied Cornelius, who had the faculty of entering at once +into the peculiarities of those with whom he conversed. + +"Of course you are sure it is the right one," suggested Mr. Thornton. + +"Quite sure." + +"She has grown," was the next observation of my grandfather; as if the +fact astonished him. + +Cornelius did not answer. My heart sank to see him rise; he laid his hand +on my arm, and said gravely-- + +"Sir, four years ago, I pledged my word that whenever you wished for this +young girl, you should have her. Here she is. I have kept my word." + +"And mean to keep it still?" hinted Mr. Thornton, darting a quick and +piercing look from me to him. + +Cornelius reddened, and replied shortly-- + +"It is kept, Sir." + +"And the future may shift for itself. Humph! Well, I suppose you are glad +enough to be rid of her! I remember you found her in the way four years +ago. So, fancying she would still be more inconvenient as she grew up, I +thought I would relieve you from her altogether." + +He spoke with ironical politeness. Cornelius gave him a defiant look-- +which Mr. Thornton received with evident amusement--then he turned to me, +glanced at me significantly, pressed my hand, bade me a quiet adieu, +bowed haughtily to my grandfather, and was gone. I felt confident that +this parting was but to lead to a pleasanter reunion, and yet life is so +uncertain--its unhappy chances so often outweigh the more fortunate, that +I grew sad, spite of all my confident hopes. + +"Humph!" said Mr. Thornton, looking at me from under his shaggy eyebrows. +"Don't you want to go up to your room?" he added, abruptly. + +"I should like it," I replied, not much pleased with his manner. + +He rang. A tall, straight housemaid appeared. + +"Marks!" said Mr. Thornton, briefly. + +"Please, Sir!" + +"Mrs. Marks, you fool! Well, why do you stare?" + +"I want to know what about Mrs. Marks, Sir." + +"Tell her to come, of course." + +The girl never moved. He asked, impatiently: + +"What are you waiting for, creature?" + +"Please, Sir, Mrs. Marks will not come." + +"She will not come!" + +"No, Sir; she has just had her luncheon. Mrs. Marks never stirs after her +luncheon." + +She spoke confidently. Mr. Thornton reclined back in his chair, uttered +an amazed "Ah!" but, recovering himself, he said, with great suavity: + +"Charlotte, be so good as to give my compliments to Mrs. Marks, and say +that I shall feel indebted to her if she will favour me with her company +for a few minutes, now," he added, with some stress. + +Charlotte shook her head sceptically; but she obeyed, and proved more +successful than she had anticipated, for, ere long, the door again +opened, and admitted Mrs. Marks. In dress and appearance, she looked +exactly the same as seven years before. + +"Mrs. Marks," said Mr. Thornton, with great politeness, "will you have +the kindness to show Miss Burns, my grand-daughter, to her room?" + +Mrs. Marks gave me a look of her cold, fishy eye, and said, "Yes, Sir," +in a tone of ice. + +I saw she remembered me with no pleasant feelings. I followed her out of +the study, determined that both she and my grandfather should learn I was +no longer a child. She took me to a room on the first floor, large, but +plainly furnished, and informed me "this was my apartment." + +"Thank you," I replied, quietly; "but it is too gloomy. I prefer the room +I had formerly." + +Mrs. Marks did not understand. Mrs. Marks was in a state of obliviousness +concerning all that had passed before this day. Mrs. Marks knew Miss +Burns, the grand-daughter of Mr. Thornton; of the obstinate little girl +whom she had called Burns, Mrs. Marks had no recollection, nor of +anything concerning her. Without heeding this, I described to her so +minutely the locality of my old apartment, that she could not feign +ignorance; but when, in answer to her objection that it was "quite +empty," I civilly requested her to cause the furniture around me to be +removed to it as soon as possible, Mrs. Marks looked figuratively knocked +down. I left her in that prostrate condition, to go down and speak to my +grandfather. + +I could not understand why he had so suddenly claimed me, and what he +wanted with me. He did not look as if he liked me a bit better than +formerly; certainly not as if inclined to make me "the charm of his home, +and the delight of his heart and eyes." "There is something in it," I +thought. "Cornelius may fancy that every body is as fond of me as he is, +and look for no other motive; but I am sure there is, and I must find it +out, if it were only to help him in his mysterious design." + +I knocked at the door of the study, and, receiving no answer, opened it +and looked in. My grandfather never raised his eyes from his book. +Unwilling to disturb him, I entered quietly, and, without speaking, sat +down by the window. It was a broad, arched casement, partly veiled with +ivy hanging down from above, and facing a magnificent avenue of beech +trees that stretched far on into the park. They communicated some of +their solemn gloom to the apartment; and the contrast of that green +woodland aspect with the dusty tomes and air of venerable learning +within; of that solitary look out, and of the quiet, white-headed figure +bending so intently over its open volume, struck me. "There is a pretty +picture for Cornelius," I thought. "I must bear every detail of it in my +mind's eye to tell him when we meet." The contrast recalled me to the +object of my presence in my grandfather's apartment. I coughed gently; +Mr. Thornton started, looked up, and said, "Ah!" with evident +astonishment. I looked at him quietly. + +"Well!" he ejaculated. + +"Yes," I replied. + +"Yes what?" he asked, impatiently. + +I thought I might have asked, "Well what?" with as much reason; but I +merely said: + +"Yes, Sir, I am here." + +"What for?" + +"To speak to you, if you please." + +"What about?" + +"Is there any lady in the house besides myself?" + +"No." + +"Is there to be?" + +"No." + +"Am I to keep house?" + +"Mrs. Marks is my housekeeper." + +"Then what am I to do?" + +"Nothing." + +This was not encouraging; but I persisted. + +"Then there is nothing for me to do?" + +"Nothing." + +"Are you quite sure?" I asked, earnestly. + +He gave me a surprised look. I continued: + +"Are you quite sure I cannot be of any use to you, Sir?" + +"Of none," was his somewhat contemptuous reply. + +"Well then," I rejoined, with great alacrity, "as I am not to keep house, +not to do anything, don't you think, Sir, you had better send me back to +Mr. and Miss O'Reilly? You know," I added, impressively, "that I must be +of some expense to you here, whereas with them, I should cost you nothing +at all; and, though it was very kind of you to think of me, I assure you +they did not find me in the way." + +My grandfather drew in a long breath, and, folding his arms, looked at me +from head to foot. + +"So you are not an hour here, and you already want to be off," he said. + +"But since you don't want me--" I remonstrated. + +"I beg your pardon--I do want you," he replied, with ironical politeness; +"and the proof I do want you, is, that I have taken the trouble of +procuring you, and that I mean to keep you." + +He spoke as if I were a piece of furniture. I felt very indignant, and +reddening, asked: + +"May I know, Sir, what you want me for?" + +"No," was the laconic and decisive reply. + +"Am I to stay here whether I like or not?" + +"Precisely." + +"I shall appeal to Mr. O'Reilly," I exclaimed indignantly. + +"The law does not recognise Mr. O'Reilly," composedly answered Mr. +Thornton; "he is nothing to you, not even your guardian. I am your +grandfather; and the law," he added, giving me an emphatic look, +"recognizes me and my power until you are of age." + +He seemed to think this sufficient, and again bent over his book. His +last words had sunk on my heart like lead. Was it true? could it be true? +Did the law give so much power to Mr. Thornton? and, provided he did not +ill-use me, would it make me for four years the captive of his pleasure? +Could Cornelius really deliver me from this bondage, or, as I began to +fear, had he deceived himself, and deceived me? I repented having spoken +so openly to Mr. Thornton: and hoping to repair this error, and +conciliate him by a more submissive behaviour, I lingered in the study, +and took up one of the dusty old volumes scattered everywhere around me. +It was a Latin work, but an English treatise on mineralogy had been bound +up with it; and this I began reading, or rather I attempted to read. My +eyes ever kept wandering from the page down the avenue before me. From +its direction, I was sure it led to that quiet stream by which Cornelius +and I had sat that same day. In thought I leave the room, hurry down the +avenue; the stream is crossed. I follow silent lanes, and traverse lonely +fields; a quiet path brings me to Rock Cottage; the garden gate is open; +the door stands ajar; I look in; Cornelius is sitting with his back +turned to me; I utter his name; he looks round. + +The sound of the key turning in the lock, woke me from my happy dream. I +looked up; Mr. Thornton's chair was vacant; I ran to the door; it +resisted my efforts; my grandfather, forgetting, I suppose, my presence, +had locked me in. I looked for means of egress, and saw none but the +window. I remained patient for about a quarter of an hour; but perceiving +that Mr. Thornton did not return, and, from the fact of being shut in, +feeling of course the most eager desire to get out, I opened the window, +and stepping on the sill, prepared to jump down; it was higher from the +ground than I had expected; I looked and hesitated a little. + +"Allow me to assist you," said a very pleasant voice. + +I looked round, and saw standing by the window a handsome, gentlemanly +man of thirty-five or thereabouts. He had light brown hair, a delicate +moustache of the same hue, very fine blue eyes, and a classical profile. +As he stood before me, politely offering me his hand to assist my +descent, yet scarcely able to repress a smile at my predicament, I +fancied I recognized in him the "young Mr. Thornton" I had formerly +mistaken for Cornelius. I could not retreat; it would have looked foolish +to refuse; so I accepted his assistance, and, as I alighted, said +explanatorily: + +"My grandfather, I mean Mr. Thornton, had forgotten I was there, and +locked me in." + +"Miss Burns!" he said smiling, "I guessed as much." + +I gave him a look implying, "Who are you?" + +"Your cousin Edward Thornton," he answered bowing. + +"I thought so;" I replied gravely, "I remember letting you in by the +side-door." + +"And I have been so fortunate as to help to let you out through the +window." + +I laughed at the turn our discourse was taking. There was a well-bred +ease in his manner, sufficient of itself to banish all shyness. + +"My dilemma," he said quietly, "is very different from yours, Miss Burns; +I am in the same unfortunate position, in which you found me seven years +ago: I cannot get in. I have tried three doors--in vain." + +"Here is a fourth," I replied pointing to a low side-door. He knocked +against it with his cane, but received no reply. + +"Decidedly," gravely observed Edward Thornton, "the place is enchanted. +As old Spenser would say: + + 'There reigns a solemn silence over all; + Nor voice is heard--'" + + +Here he broke down in the quotation; I ventured to suggest the rest: + + "--nor wight is seen in bower or hall." + + +"Thank you," he said, with a gracious inclination of his handsome head. +"You like Spenser?" he added, resuming the task of tapping against the +door with the end of his elegant cane. + +"Yes," I answered, "and you?" + +He turned round to give me a surprised look of his fine blue eyes, but he +quietly replied: + +"Yes, I admire Spenser very much." + +He was at the door again, and this time he condescended to apply to it +the heel of a very handsome, aristocratic foot, when a thin, high voice +behind us observed: + +"This way, Edward; I have found means of entering, but I never saw a more +barbarous place, never." + +We both looked round; a lady of middle age, very slender, and attired in +pale blue bar?ge, a white lace cloak and a tulle bonnet, over which she +balanced a delicate white parasol, was advancing towards us with mincing +steps. I fancied I recognised Mrs. Brand, and I was not mistaken. + +"Have you found no one?" asked her brother. + +"I have found an idiotic house-maid, and an old goblin housekeeper, from +neither of whom could I extract anything, save that Mr. Thornton never so +much as hinted we were coming; but that, as our carriage entered the +avenue, he was seen to rush from the study, and vanish down the park. +Gracious, very!" + +"Characteristic," said Edward Thornton, smiling with languid grace. + +"My dear Edward," solemnly observed his sister, "are you aware that there +are no beds ready, or indeed, in existence, and that Marks--I believe +that is her name--declares there is not a pound of meat in the house." + +Edward Thornton's handsome face lengthened visibly. + +"Really," he said, "really!" + +"I do not mind it," continued Mrs. Brand; "but I am ashamed at the slur +cast on our national hospitality. It is one of those things which, if +related to me, I should have dismissed with the reply: 'Absurd--not +English--absurd!' I am now compelled to acknowledge it as a melancholy +fact, from which I cannot help drawing certain conclusions." + +"Perhaps Miss Burns can enlighten us concerning the domestic arrangements +of our eccentric relative," observed Mr. Thornton, turning to me. + +"I have not been two hours in the house," I replied, smiling. + +"Miss Burns!" exclaimed Mrs. Brand, with a start. "Really, Edward, I am +surprised you did not mention it sooner. You know how I have longed to +see our dear young cousin." + +She tripped up to me as she spoke, and gave my hand a fervent squeeze. +Then looking at me through a gold eye-glass: + +"My dear child," she said, "how well you look--not at all altered. Were I +not so short-sighted, I should have known you anywhere--would not you, +Edward?" + +"No," he replied, quietly; "I find Miss Burns much altered; and if I +recognised her, it was in spite of the change seven years have worked." + +"Ah! very true," sighed Mrs. Brand. "Years pass, and the world goes on +with all its vanities. My dear girl, have you really no idea of what we +are to do for beds and a dinner?" + +The moral sentiment had been uttered with slow abstraction, but the +question relating to the things of the flesh, came out quite briskly. + +I regretted that I could give Mrs. Brand no information, but repeated my +previous statement. + +"It is a _guet-apens_," she feelingly observed; "a most un-English, +uncivilised mode of proceeding--worse than primitive--quite savage. +Edward, what do you advise?" + +"Eggs." + +"Eggs!" + +"Yes, I have always laboured under the impression that eggs were the +resource of travellers in distress." + +"When they could get them, I suppose," rather sharply replied his sister. + +"Yes," he observed, gently tapping his foot with the extremity of his +cane. "I should say this was an indispensable condition." + +"I have sent Brooks to a place called Leigh," resumed Mrs. Brand, "but I +have no hopes; for Marks says that this not being market-day, there is no +chance of our getting anything." + +"Excepting visitors," said Mr. Thornton as a sound of carriage wheels was +heard in the neighbouring avenue. + +We stood near the wicket-door, which had so often been my post of +observation. A travelling-carriage was coming up the broad avenue. It +stopped before the house, and a lady alighted. Affection rendered Mrs. +Brand sharp-sighted, for without even using her eye-glass, she exclaimed: + +"Edith!" and biting her lip, looked uneasily at her brother. + +"Mrs. Langton!" he said raising his eye-brow, and smoothing his delicate +moustache, "why I think it is at least five years since I saw her +climbing the Jung-Frau with her gouty old husband. Is he not dead, +Bertha?" + +Bertha did not answer; she had hastened away to her friend. They met most +affectionately, and entered the house kissing. + +"This is quite a gathering of cousins," observed Edward Thornton smiling +with some irony, "I suppose you know Mrs. Langton?" + +"I remember her as Miss Grainger." + +He silently offered me his arm, I accepted it, and we entered Thornton +House. In an old wainscotted parlour, we found the two ladies in close +proximity and conversation. The beautiful Edith seemed to me more +beautiful than ever; her weeds became her charmingly, and when she rose, +and greeted me with a pleasant smile, I still thought her the loveliest +creature I had ever looked at. A faint blush mantled her cheek, as she +saw Mr. Thornton; he was polite and unmoved. + +The cloth was laid; Mrs. Brand mournfully observed that the dinner not +being more remarkable for quantity than for quality--it was the servants' +dinner, she said, but did not say how they were to manage--it would be as +prudent not to delay the meal. It consisted of cold beef, hot potatoes, +home-brewed ale and musty cheese. Mr. Edward Thornton had the good +breeding to look as unconscious of the sorry fare before him, as if he +had venison on his plate and claret in his glass. Mrs. Brand sighed and +lamented the whole time. Mrs. Langton would have been a woman after +Byron's own heart, for she scarcely touched a morsel, and indeed looked +much too lovely to eat or do anything but be beautiful, which she +certainly did to perfection. As soon as politeness permitted, she retired +to a deep bow-window that looked forth into the park; Mr. Thornton soon +made his way to her chair, and from where I sat by Mrs. Brand, I could +hear fragments of their conversation. He believed he had had the pleasure +of seeing her in Switzerland. Had he really seen her? she asked +carelessly; she thought one could see nothing but the mountains and +precipices in that picturesque country. Did she not like it? inquired Mr. +Thornton. Oh, yes; that was to say no; and yet she thought she rather +liked it, as much as one could like anything of course. Of course, +assented Mr. Thornton with some emphasis. She reddened, rose and came and +sat by Mrs. Brand, who immediately began kissing her; whilst her brother, +addressing me in his easy polite way, alluded to the beauty of the +evening, and proposed a walk over the grounds. My lips parted to decline, +but on second thought I consented. + +"As I was telling you, dear," said Mrs. Langton, but on seeing me take +the arm of my cousin, she hesitated slightly. + +"As you were telling me, dear," echoed Mrs. Brand, giving the hand of her +friend a gentle squeeze, and watching her brother and me with the corner +of her eye. + +"Yes, I was telling you," resumed Mrs. Langton. + +What she was telling her dear Bertha. I know not, for at that precise +moment, Mr. Thornton and I left the room. He was my cousin and old enough +to be my father; I did not think there could he any impropriety in +walking out with him, and, secure on this head, I allowed myself to be +entertained by his pleasant discourse, and watched for an opportunity of +introducing the questions I wished him to answer. That opportunity not +coming, I was obliged to enter on the subject somewhat abruptly. + +"What a beautiful, rosy cloud," thoughtfully observed my companion. + +"Mr. Thornton," I said very earnestly, "I am afraid you are going to +think me very impertinent." + +Mr. Thornton thus summoned from his cloud, looked as astonished as a man +of the world can look, but he promptly recovered, and of course protested +against anything of the sort. + +"Oh! but I mean it," I resumed; "and yet I cannot help it, you know; that +is what makes it so provoking." + +Mr. Thornton smiled, and felt convinced that I alarmed myself +unnecessarily. + +"No, I assure you I do not; and, to prove it, here it is. What sort of a +man is Mr. Thornton?" + +"A very learned man." + +"Ah! but I mean in temper." + +"Eccentric." + +"And wilful," I suggested. + +"He is very firm." + +"I remember hearing formerly that he was very litigious; is it true!" + +"Why yes," carelessly replied my cousin; "he generally has one or two +little law matters going on. He is tenacious of his rights, and never +allows them to be infringed. He would spend hundreds sooner than be +wronged of a shilling. How do you like this place?" + +I had not heeded where he was taking me; looking up I perceived that we +had reached a wild-looking part of the grounds, and stood by a quiet and +solitary well. Between the sombre and massive trees that shed their +solemn gloom over it, I caught a distant glimpse of the narrow stream by +which Cornelius and I had sat that same day, and of which the glancing +waters were now reddened by the setting sun. The well was built against a +rise of ground; it was rude, ancient, defaced by time, and partly veiled +by moss, and dark creeping plants; the water came out clear and bright +from beneath the gloom of its low arch, to fall into a stone basin, then +flow away hidden among the high ferns that grew around, and betrayed in +its course, only by its low murmur. + +"It is a wishing-well; will you try its virtues?" said my cousin, +pointing with a smile to the iron bowl, hanging from a rusty chain by the +low arch. + +"Did you ever put them to the test, Sir?" I asked, wishfully. + +"As a boy I did; and found the legend--a legend." + +"Then I fear it is useless for me to try," I replied, sighing. + +We turned away from the spot, walked a little longer, then went in. What +sort of an evening my three cousins spent together, I know not. I retired +early, and went up, sad and disheartened, to that room whence I now +feared it passed the power of Cornelius to deliver me. I sat down, and +looked around me; vivid images of the past rose with every glance. I went +to the window by which I had so often watched for his coming; and looking +down on the dark park below, I thought, with an aching heart, of the +lonely evening he was spending at Rock Cottage. My own heart was full. I +could not bear not to be with him; but every time, even in thought, I +imagined our reunion, the dread spectre of the law seemed to rise between +us. Cornelius, exposed to trouble, persecution, and loss on my account-- +it was not to be thought of. + +"I must try conciliation," I thought; "rough as he is, Mr. Thornton may +be smoothed down. If that will not do, I shall make myself so +disagreeable that he will be glad to get rid of me." And with a thought +and prayer for the absent one, I fell asleep at a late hour. + +Our breakfast was a great improvement on the dinner of the preceding day; +but this fact failed to conciliate Mrs. Brand, whom I found alone in the +parlour. Scarcely giving herself time to return my good-morning, she +said, eagerly: + +"My dear, would you believe it! They actually had ducks! yes, ducks!" she +repeated with indignant emphasis; "whilst _we_ dined on cold beef, _they_ +had ducks! Now, it is a mere trifle--a matter of no consequence; but it +nevertheless happens that _I_ am particularly fond of ducks." + +"Ducks!" I echoed, not exactly understanding her meaning. + +"Yes, my dear, _they_, Marks, the servants in short, had ducks for +_their_ dinner; I found it out this morning by the merest chance." + +Mrs. Langton here entered the room, looking as fresh and lovely as the +morning. She gave her dear Bertha a kiss, which the other returned, +saying breathlessly: + +"Edith, they had ducks, the cold beef was good enough for us; they had +ducks." + +Edith looked surprised, and, on hearing the story, smiled and said: "Ah!" +with charming grace, "and that she fancied she rather liked ducks, but +was not quite sure." She sat down in the deep embrasure of the window, +and looked out at the park with an abstraction that was not disturbed by +the sound of the opening door, and the appearance of Edward Thornton. He +informed us that Mr. Thornton was laid up with a rheumatic attack. + +"Distressing!" abstractedly said Mrs. Brand. "I suppose you know they had +ducks?" + +And as we sat down to breakfast, she recapitulated her wrongs. Mr. +Thornton heard her with perfect unconcern, and said "really," then spoke +to me of the beauty of the morning, and of Mr. Thornton's rheumatism. + +"You will be sorry to learn," he said, gently breaking the shell of an +egg, "that our excellent relative is completely laid up; I found him in +his study lying on a couch, unable to stir, and in acute pain." + +I was sorry in one sense, and glad in another; I had a vague hope that +pain might subdue my obdurate grandpapa, and as soon as breakfast was +over, I hastened to his study; wishing to take him by surprise, I +ventured to enter without knocking. The surprise was mine. Mr. Thornton, +whom I had expected to find groaning on his couch, was standing on the +top of a high flight of steps, reaching down heavy quartos. On hearing +the door open, he turned round sharply, and looked at me scowling. I +rather enjoyed his predicament and said quietly: + +"I am glad you are better, Sir." + +He growled an inaudible reply, and came down, hobbling and groaning with +every step he took, and darting mistrustful looks at me. I offered him +the aid of my shoulder, which he accepted, leaning on me as heavily as he +could. I helped him to return to his couch, then quietly sat down facing +him. He knew he was at my mercy, and did not tell me to go; but he +surlily rejected my proffered services; but I persisted. + +"I can look for any book for you, Sir," I said. + +"Look, then," was his ungracious reply. + +"What book is it, Sir?" + +"Begin with the first volume on the second shelf." + +I obeyed, and brought him a heavy tome, which he just looked at, then +threw away, briefly saying: + +"Another." + +Another I brought him, with the same result; a third, a fourth, and so on +throughout the whole shelf. + +"Are you not tired?" he asked with smooth irony. + +"Oh, no," I replied, smiling, "shall I begin another shelf?" + +"No, you need not," he answered, giving it up, "it is an old treatise on +mineralogy that has long been lost." + +I turned to the window; the book I had been reading on the preceding day +still lay there open; I silently handed it to my grandfather, who gave it +and then me a look of profound surprise, followed by a remarkable +smoothing down of mien and accent. + +"How did you find it?" he asked, looking at it with evident satisfaction. + +"By chance, Sir." + +"By chance! Oh! I have another thing missing. Ray's 'Chaos and Creation,' +perhaps you could find that too, eh?" + +He looked at me thoughtfully. Anxious to conciliate him, I replied, +eagerly: + +"Perhaps I might, Sir." + +"Humph! Can you write? I mean write a round hand, not the abominable +slant of most school-girls?" + +"Yes, Sir: my handwriting is remarkably round." + +"Transcribe this." + +He pushed towards me a sheet of hieroglyphics, which I turned over with a +dismay that made him chuckle. Unwilling to give him an advantage over me, +I sat down and at once entered on my task; the decyphering was the worst +part of the business; but after working hard for several hours, I +accomplished it to his satisfaction and to mine. 1 thought to rest; but +Mr. Thornton was differently inclined. + +"Can you read?" he asked, "I mean read as you talk, without drawl or +singing?" + +I replied I hoped I could. He said we should see, and handed me the +mineralogical treatise. For two hours I read without stopping. At length +he said that was enough. I felt quite faint and exhausted, and asked if I +could leave him. He assented, adding-- + +"Mind you keep a look-out for 'Chaos and Creation!'" + +I promised to do so, and left him much relieved. The day was hot; the air +of the close, dusty, old study felt stifling. I went out into the garden +at the back of the house, and sat down in the arbour. I had not been +there five minutes before I was joined by my cousin, Edward Thornton. He +was beginning to make himself very pleasant and agreeable, when Mrs. +Langton appeared stepping down daintily from beneath the porch, like a +lady in a picture. She had discarded her widow's cap; the warm sunlight +gave a brown tint to her jet black hair, and she looked fresh and fair as +the rose which she held in one hand, whilst the other slightly raised her +sweeping skirt. Mr. Thornton rose and resigned to her his place by me, +which she accepted with a gracious smile. He stood before us, talking in +his easy, agreeable way; I looked and listened, remembering that in this +very spot, seven years before, they had met and parted. They, too, +remembered it; for ere long I had the pleasure of finding that I was made +the medium of their well-bred sneers. + +Edward Thornton addressed the chief portion of his discourse to me, and +put several unimportant questions, each, more or less, arrows that +glanced at Mrs. Langton. + +"Is it not about seven years ago, that I saw you here?" he observed +carelessly. + +"Yes, Sir, exactly seven years." + +"It seems a long time, does it not?" he added, addressing Mrs. Langton, +as if to remind her that seven years had passed over her beauty. + +"Very!" she replied, smelling her rose, and looking like one for whom +time does not exist. + +"I remember you quite well," Edward continued, addressing me, "a small +fair child, with bright golden hair, which has now deepened into brown." + +"Do you?" I replied, amused by this little bit of fiction, to which Mrs. +Langton listened, smiling at the slight put on her glossy tresses, dark +as the raven's wing. + +"Oh! yes," he continued, "Bertha and I used to call you the little white +rose. Your name is Rose, is it not?" + +"No, my name is Daisy; that is to say, Margaret, but at home I am always +called Daisy." + +"The name of the sweetest wild flower," he replied, smiling; "there may +be less beauty about it," he continued, "than about the rose, but then it +has a grace and a freshness quite its own." + +The Rose looked scornful. Not relishing being thus made the instrument of +Mr. Edward Thornton's pique, I rose, and spite of his entreaties, left +the arbour. Common politeness would not allow him to desert Mrs. Langton; +how they got on together is more than I know. They were studiously polite +at dinner. + +When I went up to my room that same evening, I perceived that the little +black trunk had arrived. I opened it eagerly, but searched in vain for a +letter. A fact, however, struck me. It contained the portfolio of Italian +drawings placed there by another hand than mine. I turned them over with +a vague hope. I found nothing but a stray scrap of paper, which I took to +the light. It was one of those rude and hasty sketches with which artists +write down passing ideas: yet, imperfect as it was, I recognised at a +glance the well I had so recently seen and visited. A female figure, in +which I knew myself, sat by it with her hand shading her eyes, as if +watching for something or some one; the disk of the sun, half sunk behind +the far horizon and sending forth low spreading rays, indicated the close +of day. Evidently Cornelius knew this place and wished me to meet him +there at sunset. When? Most probably on the following day. My heart +leaped with joy at the thought of seeing him so soon, and with trust and +hope on perceiving how faithfully he kept his promise. + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + + +My first act the next morning was to go and see my grandfather. He +received me with a sufficiently cordial growl, and confident, I suppose, +of the good understanding between us, no longer kept up the pretence of +rheumatic pains in my presence. I again read and transcribed for several +hours, at the end of which Mr. Thornton was pleased to say--"I might be +off if I liked;" and reminded me not to forget "that Chaos and +Creation--" Wishing to sound him still further, I replied-- + +"Oh! no. I hope to find it before I go." + +"Eh?" he sharply said. + +"Before I go with Mr. O'Reilly," I resumed, "he means to stay another +week or ten days here." + +"Who said you were to go with him?" asked Mr. Thornton. + +"No one. But surely, Sir, you will not care to keep an insignificant girl +like me?" + +He did not answer; I continued. + +"It would be a great deal better to go with him, than to make him come +back and fetch me." + +"I'll tell you what," interrupted Mr. Thornton, knitting his black brows +and looking irate: "if that Irishman, who sent the little girl to school, +and who gives the young girl such queer looks, attempts to carry you off, +he'll rue it as long as he lives. I'll teach him," he added, +impressively, "the meaning of the word 'abduction.' See 9th of George +IV." + +"Abduction. Sir," I said, reddening, "means carrying off by force." + +"And the law construes fraud into force," coolly answered Mr. Thornton. +"See 9th of George IV." + +I was much perturbed by this threat. Mr. Thornton did not appear to see +or notice it, and dismissed me with another hint about "Chaos and +Creation." + +After dinner--our housekeeping was now much improved and, indeed, quite +stylish--Mr. Edward Thornton and Mrs. Langton vanished, and I remained +with Mrs. Brand, who entertained me, for some time, with the many virtues +of her brother. "A most excellent brother he had ever been to her; and +since he had come into the Wyndham property, she could say that Poplar +Lodge had been as much her home as his--a fact which proved there was +nothing like the ties of blood, for Mr. Brand, she was very sorry to say, +had not behaved at all delicately; and, satisfied with leaving her a few +paltry hundreds a-year, had actually bequeathed to his daughter that +delightful Holywell Lodge--a most exquisite place--to which he well knew +that she had a particular fancy, not because it was beautiful--she was +essentially a person of simple, unsophisticated tastes--but her heart was +bound to Holywell. She had spent her honeymoon there, and she was +astonished that had not proved a consideration with Mr. Brand." We sat by +the window. The trunks of the trees in the park shone warm and red with +the light of the setting sun. I wanted to be off, and said carelessly: + +"What a delightful walk Mrs. Langton and Mr. Thornton are now having!" + +Mrs. Brand started. + +"My dear," she said, quickly, "you do not mean--Edith is in her own room +surely." + +"I saw her and Mr. Thornton disappearing behind that clamp of trees." + +"Imprudent!" exclaimed Mrs. Brand, looking fidgetty. "She takes cold so +easy. I must really go after her." + +She rose, left the room, and hurried off, at once, in the direction I had +pointed out. I waited awhile, then slipped out. My way lay exactly +opposite to hers. I kept within the shelter of the trees. In a few +minutes, I had reached the well; but, to my dismay, I perceived standing +by it, and talking quietly together, the objects of Mrs. Brand's search. +They stood with their backs turned to me. I sank down, at once, in the +high ferns, which closed over me. I knelt stooping, and every now and +then cautiously raised my head to look. They lingered awhile longer, then +left. When they were out of sight, I sat up, shaking from my loosened +hair the dried fern and withered leaves with which it had got entangled. + +Startled by a low sound near me, I looked round quickly. A few paces from +me, the ferns began to move, then a man's arm divided them, and, in the +opening appeared the handsome and laughing face of Cornelius. He half sat +up, leaning on one elbow, and looked at me, smiling. + +"Are they gone?" he whispered. + +I gave a hasty glance around. The sun had nearly set. In its warm and +mellow glow, the park looked silent and lonely. Over all things already +brooded the stillness of evening. + +"It's all right," I said, jumping up. "Cornelius, you are tall, and could +be seen a good distance, so please to be quiet." + +"You don't mean to say that I am to remain here on my back?" he asked, +indignantly. + +"I mean that, if you get up, I shall take flight." + +He fumed and fretted, but I was obdurate. On his back I made him lie, and +there I kept him. When he became restless, I threatened to leave him. He +submitted, muttering, "Absurd--ridiculous!" and, turning away his flushed +and vexed face, he would not speak. I knelt down by him, and, smoothing +his hair, asked if he did not feel comfortable, and what more he wanted. +At first, I got no answer, but I stroked him into good humour, for, all +at once, he snatched my hand, and pressing it tenderly to his lips, +informed me he was a savage, and I an angel. I laughed, and said: + +"That explains what Mr. Thornton meant by your queer looks. I have always +heard that the eye of a savage has something quite peculiar." + +"Queer looks!" echoed Cornelius, reddening; "the queerness is in his +eyes, Daisy. But let him have his say. I have taken no vow; but I am +determined--" + +"Cornelius, if you will toss in that extraordinary fashion, I must go." + +He groaned, but became once more quiet. + +"Since you are so fidgetty," I said, "why did you not come to see me at +Thornton House?" + +"Why, Daisy," he replied, rolling a stray lock of my hair round his +finger, "because I am a burglar, and not a swindler. I may rob a man of +his jewel, but I will not cheat him out of it." + +"Abduction and 9th George IV," rushed into my head; but I carelessly +said:-- + +"So I am to be stolen property." + +He laughed, and did not contradict it. + +"But how will you manage?" I asked. + +"It is not settled yet?" he replied evasively; "but you shall know all +the next time we meet here." + +"Then why this meeting of to-day, Cornelius?--why this useless danger?" + +"Danger!--there is none for me; and if there were, I would meet and brave +it willingly for this sight of your face. Now do not look so like a shy +fawn, though it becomes you charmingly. It was quite pretty to watch you +hidden in the ferns. Every now and then you raised your fair head like a +young Nereid, then dipped it again into that green sea, where I now lie +flat like a dead fish; and yet, Daisy, how pleasant it is to be here with +you!" + +"How do you know this place?" + +"I sketched it years ago on one of my visits to your father; little +thinking then that the sulky little girl, who would not kiss me, would +one day break every tie for my sake." + +All doubt that I might not enter into his plans, or that I could refuse +to accompany him when the moment came, seemed as if by magic to have left +Cornelius. No longer did he, or perhaps could he, anticipate the chance +of a refusal. Yet, now, that I saw more clearly to what consequences his +scheme might lead, I felt I loved him far too much to consent. But he +spoke with so much confidence and hope, that I dreaded undeceiving him. I +could rule him in little things; but when his passions were roused--I had +tested it in the case of William Murray--he was my master. His vehement +feelings swayed me, as a strong wind bows weak reeds before its breath. +If, in the burst of anger and grief that would assuredly follow the +announcement of my resolve not to agree to his plans, Cornelius insisted +on making me accompany him at once, I knew my own weakness well enough to +guess that I could not remain behind. So kneeling by him, and looking +down somewhat sadly at his triumphant face, I said nothing, but indulged +him in his flights of fancy. + +The warm glow of day had not yet left earth; the moon had risen, but her +light was pale and indistinct, as it is in the first hours of evening; it +shone with a mild and grey radiance over that quiet spot, fell softly on +the trees that sheltered it, and just touched the stone arch of the well, +whose waters flowed with a low ripple, then spread away vaguely over the +wide park, dotted with dark clumps of trees. The evening was unusually +mild and balmy. I felt it both soothing and delightful to be alone with +Cornelius at this lonely hour, and in this solitary spot; but most +saddening to think we no longer owned the shelter of the same roof, and +were no longer to live within the holy circle of the same home. + +At length, I spoke of going. He detained me as long as he could, and +released me with a promise of meeting him there again two days hence. If +I could not come, a letter hidden under a stone that lay half buried in +the grass, was to tell him so. As we parted, he said, fondly:-- + +"A few days more, Daisy, and there shall be no more meetings, nor +partings either." + +I did not dare to reply, but turning abruptly from him, I ran away +through the high grass, without once looking behind. + +I had not to read or transcribe on the following day, the best part of +which I spent with Mrs. Brand. She spoke a good deal of Mr. Thornton, and +dropped mysterious hints, wholly lost on my ignorance; but she assured me +she was not at all offended with my reserve, which was quite _de bon +go?t_, and decidedly English. + +I was amused at the idea that I should be accused of reserve for not +understanding her sphinx-like mode of speech; I also thought that, for a +lady who seemed fond of everything English, a less frequent use of French +words, to which her own language offered equivalents, would have been +more consistent. But this was one of the little contradictions in which, +as I afterwards found, Mrs. Brand indulged. She was very national, but an +English dressmaker would have thrown her into fits; English manufactures +were irritating to her nerves, and English cooking would have been the +death of her. She also once informed me, that but for her dear Edward, +her health would compel her to reside on the Continent, in which case, +England would, I fear, have been deprived of Mrs. Brand altogether, and +the intercourse between them would have been limited to the transmission +and receipt of the English "paltry hundreds" which Mr. Brand had +bequeathed to his affectionate spouse. + +That Mrs. Brand was quite a martyr to sisterly affection, was indeed an +indubitable fact, for in the course of the morning, she observed to me: +"My dear, people may talk about plantations and negro slavery, and +factory girls; but I assure you, that the fashionable world is a wide +plantation, and that we, the slaves who work it, are worked to death. I +came here for a little peace, and behold, I received I know not how many +invitations yesterday, and I must pay I know not how many visits to-day. +Oh! my dear; if it were not for Edward, I would break my chains and fly." + +Borne up, however, by the thought of Edward, the slave of the world +managed to drag her chain pretty well, and that same afternoon was even +equal to the exertion of stepping into her carriage for the purpose of +going to work her plantation. Mrs. Langton accompanied her; Edward +Thornton remained at home. He had stretched his elegant person in an old- +fashioned arm-chair, where he read the newspaper, and looked as politely +_ennuy?_ as possible. I sat by the window, looking at the Italian +drawings of Cornelius. I had brought them down on the express wish of +Mrs. Brand, who, giving them a careless look, had said "how pretty," and +thought no more about them. When she left, however, she envied me with a +sigh my privilege of being able to stay at home, and congratulated me on +my indifference to worldly pleasures. As the door closed on her, Mr. +Edward Thornton laid down his newspaper, to say negligently: + +"And so, Miss Burns, you really don't care for the world! What a little +hermitess!" + +"Do you care about it, Sir?" + +"I? no; but I'm tired of it." + +I smiled and shook my head incredulously. I rather liked my cousin; but I +could not help thinking that his character of an old man of the world was +more put on than real. + +"You don't believe it?" he said. + +"No," was my frank reply. + +"Now, Miss Burns, what should I care for?" + +"Politics?" + +"I am sick of them. Standing for a certain borough, and being pelted with +eggs and apples, gave me a surfeit." + +"Pleasure?" + +"It is too hard work for me." + +"Money?" + +"I have got it, and therefore do not care for it." + +"Horses?" + +"Over years ago." + +"Years ago!" I thought, "and you have not come into the Wyndham property +more than a year, cousin. Travelling?" I suggested aloud. + +"Over too. Do you confess yourself mistaken, and acknowledge that I am +tired of the world?" + +"No, Sir!" + +"No!" + +"No; you read the newspaper." + +My cousin opened his fine blue eyes, and looked amused, and seemed to +expect more; but I looked at my drawings, and remained mute; he raised +his head from the back of the high arm-chair on which it was cushioned. I +took no notice of this; he coughed; I never looked up. He took his paper, +laid it down, took it up again, and at length feeling either piqued or +inquisitive, rose and came round to the back of my chair. I allowed him +to stand there, and look over my shoulder, as long as he pleased. + +"I wonder where Bertha got these!" he said at length in a tone of +surprise. + +"They are mine," I replied quietly, "Mr. O'Reilly gave them to me." + +"Are they by him?" + +I assented with some pride. My cousin looked astonished, and pronounced +the sketches masterly. He sat down by my side, and looked over the +contents of the portfolio; his remarks showed me that he was an excellent +judge. We looked slowly; and had not done, when Mrs. Brand and Mrs. +Langton returned from their laborious duties. + +"Have you seen these, Bertha?" said Edward Thornton to his sister. + +"Yes, lovely things," she replied, carelessly. + +"Have you?" he asked of Edith, who sat apart, gathered up in her own +loveliness, like a self-admiring rose. + +She answered in the negative, and taking up the portfolio, he seemed +inclined to show them to her; but his sister playfully interfered, told +him that as he had already seen them, it was not fair; that she was +passionately fond of drawings, and would look over these with her dear +Edith by whom she accordingly sat most pertinaciously until dinner-time. +Her brother remained by me, and talked of Cornelius, whom he emphatically +pronounced a man of genius. My ear opened to hear him speak so. + +"He is more than a man of genius," I replied with some emotion; "he is so +good. At least he has always been so to me; he adopted and reared me +quite as if I had been his own child, and that was very kind." + +Mr. Thornton smiled, and spoke of good deeds that brought their own +reward. I hinted that if I was a reward, it seemed hard he should be +deprived of me. He evidently thought this hard, too; and though he did +not say so, I saw he intended influencing Mr. Thornton in my favour. A +fact on which I did not place much hope, for I knew enough of my +grandfather to guess he was not easily governed. + +He kept me with him transcribing for several hours the next day; but he +never spoke until I was leaving the room, then he said very coolly: + +"You can do the rest after dinner, whilst I go on with that little +business to the wishing-well." + +My hand was on the door; I turned round to give him a terrified look. He +laughed as if he enjoyed my fright. I dare say I looked dismayed enough, +for as I left the study, I met my cousin entering, and he gave me an +astonished glance. I passed by him swiftly, and ran up to my room, there +to write a few words, with which I hastened down again. Not suspecting +that my grandfather would see me, or seeing me guess my intention, I went +down the beech-tree avenue; but I had not gone ten steps, when the arched +casement was thrown open, and Mr. Thornton appeared in the aperture, grim +and forbidding. + +"Miss Burns," he said, sternly, "will you come back, if you please. I +want you. Sir, I shall thank you not to interfere." + +The latter remark was addressed to my cousin, who, standing by him, +seemed to plead or urge something. He bowed stiffly and drew back, +looking offended. I obeyed the summons I had received, and returned to +the study, my eyes overflowing with indignant tears which pride could +scarcely restrain. Edward Thornton gave me a look of sympathy, and left +as I entered. Mr. Thornton eyed me severely. + +"You may as well give it up," he said, "for I won't allow it." + +I sank down on a chair without replying. He continued: + +"If you ever saw a moth singe its wings at a candle, you know the fate of +your friend. Every one knows that though I don't care a farthing for +game, I allow no poaching. We were three of us at the wishing-well the +other evening. Since he would brave me, why I shall just show him that I +have him so," he added expressively uniting his forefinger and thumb, +"and that no later than this evening." + +I gave him a beseeching look; he laughed; I began a supplication; he +interrupted with a stern: "I never retract." + +I steeled my heart, and took a desperate resolve. + +"Mr. Thornton," I said rising and going up to him, "I will submit to +anything, if you will but let Mr. O'Reilly alone. It is because he knows +I am so fond of him that he does all this." + +"That's not true, and you know it," roundly interrupted Mr. Thornton. +"It's because he is so fond of you that he can't take his eyes off of +you." + +"Well then, yes," I exclaimed, feeling that perfect sincerity was after +all the best policy. "It is because ho likes me. Has he not a right to be +fond of me, just as I of him and his sister? I love them both with my +whole heart; I long to be with them back again, and I hate being here-- +and yet I yield--I submit to anything you may exact; but, to the grief of +my loss, I entreat you do not add the torment of a persecution endured +for my sake. If you will but disregard this and any other attempt he may +make to see me, I will pass my word not to see him without your +permission. He has taught me that one's word is a sacred thing; if I give +mine I will keep it, though Grod alone knows how much it will cost me." + +My voice faltered and sank, for, as I thought of the pledge I was +offering, I felt scarcely able to speak, and yet I dreaded lest Mr. +Thornton should say no, and persist in seeking out Cornelius. He +cogitated for a while, then said abruptly: + +"To spare the time I cannot afford to lose, and for no other reason--I +consent; but mind: as you keep your word, I keep mine." + +I made no answer to this remark, but asked if I might not write to +Cornelius to tell him what had passed, and bid him the farewell I was not +to utter. He said yes. I wrote at once, and gave him the letter which he +promised to forward without delay. + +Until then, I had not felt my parting from Cornelius. His promise, my own +hopes, the light spirit of youth, had sustained me. But now that I was +pledged beyond recall, hope forsook me like a faithless friend in the +hour of need, and left me to taste in all its bitterness the misery of +absence and separation. + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + + +Years give us strength to suffer. I was no longer a weak and sickly +child. I grieved, but my sorrow was not more than I could bear. I was +young, and hope soon returned to me, and whispered that, after all, this +trial, though bitter, could not last for ever; that I might succeed in +conciliating my grandfather; and, should I fail in the attempt, that a +few more years would make me my own mistress. + +My cousin Edward sympathised with me, wondered what could be Mr. +Thornton's motives for such strange severity, and what sort of a heart he +had thus rudely to break the tender and filial tie which bound me to my +adopted father. I thought him very kind; and my only comfort was to look +with him over the sketches of Cornelius. + +Next to seeing him, it was pleasant to hear him spoken of. I seldom +uttered his name myself, but I could sit for hours, listening patiently, +just for the chance of its being mentioned now and then. This was the +charm which lay for me, in the presence of Edward Thornton, which made me +regret his absence and welcome his return. He seemed flattered by my +evident preference, his sister looked on approvingly, and Mrs. Langton +brushed past me haughty and disdainful. + +At the end of a week, Mr. Edward Thornton announced to me, one evening +that we chanced to be alone, his intention of leaving Thornton House +early the next day. He was going to London; he promised to call on +Cornelius and Kate, tell them he had seen me, and write to me how he had +found them. Then he rose, and bade me farewell. + +"When do you come back?" I asked, with a sigh. + +"I do not come back," he said, gently. + +"Oh! but what shall I do?" I exclaimed, dismayed at the prospect of +having no one to talk to me of Cornelius, and my eyes filled with +involuntary tears. + +Mr. Edward Thornton looked embarrassed and hinted that his sister +remained behind. I did not answer--a pause followed. Then my cousin hoped +that, if my grandfather permitted it, I would accompany Mrs. Brand when +she left Thornton House for Poplar Lodge. I knew the place well: it stood +within a comparatively short distance of the Grove. My heart beat, and my +face flushed, at the thought of catching a stray glimpse of Cornelius and +Kate. + +"Oh, I shall be so glad--so happy!" I exclaimed, eagerly. + +My cousin protested that the joy and happiness would be his; and, +respectfully kissing my hand, he bade me a tender adieu. On the very day +of his arrival in town, he called at the Grove, and, with a promptitude +that touched me, wrote to me, by the same day's post, that he had seen +Miss O'Reilly, who seemed quite well, and sent her love to me; but that +he had missed her brother. More he did not say, and with this much, I +had, perforce, to content myself. + +His absence made me feel very lonely. We were a strange household, and +led a strange life. My grandfather did not think it necessary to trouble +himself about his uninvited guests. He never sought our society, or +appeared at our table. Mrs. Marks tacitly resented our intrusion by +retiring to the stronghold of her high room, whence she occasionally +amused herself with ringing her alarum-bell, and now and then emerged to +make a descent upon Charlotte below. She saw that Mr. Thornton wanted for +nothing, and allowed us to shift as we liked. We went on very well. Mrs. +Brand's servant daily foraged for our support, and Mrs. Langton's French +maid, with Charlotte as a subordinate, condescended to cook us the +exquisite soups and ragouts of her country. Thus we lived most +luxuriously in that old wainscotted parlour, where there were scarcely +three chairs fit to sit upon. + +Mrs. Brand and Mrs. Langton did not feel the inconvenience; both before +and after the departure of Edward Thornton, they lived in a round of +visits and country gaieties. People, I believe, must not have known that +I existed, for I was never included in the invitations they received; and +the peculiar life my grandfather led, had so thoroughly estranged him +from his neighbours, that not one of them ever crossed the threshold of +his dwelling. What kept two such gay ladies in so gloomy an abode, was, +for some time, more than I could tell, or find out, spite of the +mysterious hints which Mrs. Brand dropped now and then. + +My cousin had been gone a week, when Mr. Thornton was suddenly called +away on business. He placed his study under my care, with the strict, +but, as it seemed to me, unnecessary prohibition of allowing any one to +enter this sacred place. He still employed me as reader and amanuensis, +and had left me plenty of manuscripts to transcribe. I sat writing by the +open window, when the sound of the opening door made me look up. I saw +Mrs. Brand. She came in with a mysterious air, and locked the door after +her. I rose, and with some embarrassment, informed her of my +grandfather's orders. + +"I am not at all astonished," she replied, calmly. + +"I am sorry to be the bearer of such a message," I said, with some +emphasis. + +"True," she sighed, sitting down as she spoke, and her eye wandering +keenly over the whole room. I reminded her that Mr. Thornton's orders +admitted of no exception. She shook her head, raised her handkerchief to +her eyes, withdrew it after a decent pause, and observed, mournfully:-- + +"Bound as I am to Mr. Thornton by the ties of blood--bound, I may say, by +the ties of affection--it is melancholy--My dear, is he to be long out?" + +"I don't know, ma'am; but he said--" + +"Yes, dear, I know. Bound by the ties of affection, it is melancholy even +to allude to the mysterious calamity which has befallen him. I have with +pleasure noticed your reserve." + +"Indeed, Ma'am, I am ignorant--" + +"Quite right, dear, quite proper. Of course you have noticed +peculiarities of thought, speech, and conduct. No one, indeed, has had so +good an opportunity as you have possessed; but you have discreetly +abstained from comment. You had heard of dungeons, chains, whips, strait- +waistcoats, and keepers; you did not know that there are places where the +afflicted are happier far than when allowed the indulgence of their own +wayward wills; indeed, where they are only restricted in one or two +trifling matters, for their own good of course." + +She sighed as she concluded. + +"Excuse me, Ma'am," I said, much astonished, "you mistake; I never +thought anything of the sort, and never for a moment connected the places +you mention with Mr. Thornton." + +"I see; you thought of keeping it quiet in the family; very amiable, but +impracticable." + +"No, Ma'am, I did not think of that either." + +"But, my dear, you must have noticed so many things; indeed you have had +rare opportunities, for instance, the change from amiability to +moroseness." + +"I don't think Mr. Thornton ever was amiable, Ma'am." + +"My dear! the most amiable of men." + +"Then not in my time, Ma'am." + +Mrs. Brand gave me a perplexed look, then observed-- + +"Do you really think, my dear, Mr. Thornton is of sound mind?" + +"I am sure of it." + +"My dear, you take a weight from my mind. Edith would have it that he did +such strange things when she was here--write such oddities. I wonder what +there is in those papers." + +She stretched forth her hand; I drew away the papers from her reach, and +said, quietly-- + +"There is nothing odd in these papers, Ma'am. They are merely about +mineralogy." + +"Mineralogy!" she exclaimed, eagerly, "my dear, if a lawyer were to see +them he might detect what you cannot of course perceive--the scientific +madness." + +"The what, Ma'am?" + +"'The scientific madness,' you deaf little fool," said the sarcastic +voice of my grandfather. + +Mrs. Brand jumped and I started. We looked round, he was nowhere in the +room. He laughed ironically; we turned round and saw his head rising +above the window-sill, on which his chin just rested. + +"So," he said, addressing his cousin, "you are kind enough to trouble +yourself about me in my absence. Eh!" + +Mrs. Brand, the first moment over, was too thorough a woman of the world +to allow herself to be disconcerted. + +"Yes, Mr. Thornton," she said, rising with sorrowful dignity, "your ill- +used relatives think of schemes for your benefit; they know their duty to +you, and though they should be misunderstood, they will persist in that +duty. Good-bye, my dear child, I leave you with regret to the fatal +consequences of your blindness." + +She walked out of the room as she spoke. The head of my grandfather sank +down and vanished, and in a few minutes his whole person appeared at the +door of the study; he stood there eyeing me from head to foot. + +"Why did you let her in?" he asked sternly. + +"I could not help it, Sir." + +"You should have turned her out." + +"Sir." + +"Turned her out. Are you getting deaf?" + +He seemed in a very bad temper, sat down with his hat on, and hunted for +something amongst the books and papers on his table, grumbling all the +time. A knock at the door disturbed him; he opened it himself. + +"Miss Burns is engaged," he said sharply, in reply to something, then re- +entered the room, slamming the door and muttering to himself. + +In a few minutes, there was a sound of carriage wheels rolling down the +avenue. + +"A happy riddance!" grumbled Mr. Thornton. "Will you soon have done that +transcribing?" + +"By dinner-time, Sir." + +He glanced over my shoulder at what I had done, signified his +approbation, and told me, as the others had taken themselves off, I might +stay and dine with him. Accordingly, in an hour's time, we had a frugal +and silent meal on an end of the table cleared away for that purpose. +When the repast was over, Mr. Thornton went to a cupboard, opened it, and +brought forth a bottle of old-looking wine, then laid it down and glanced +at me significantly. I shook my head, and said I never took wine. + +"Then you are a little fool," he replied good-humouredly, "for there is +nothing better; and this is glorious old port, too." + +He sat down, poured himself out a tumbler full, and, reclining back in +his deep arm-chair, began enjoying slowly the only indulgence he granted +to his solitary life. The genial influence of the generous vintage soon +became apparent. The sternness of his mouth relaxed; his brow smoothed +down; his piercing eyes softened into a sort of careless and jovial good- +humour; and when he laid down his glass, it was to thrust his hands in +his pockets, and chuckle to himself at the discomfiture of Mrs. Brand. + +"Scientific madness, eh--and wanted to hook you into it, and that little +bit of mineralogy, too--much the lawyers would have made of it! I am a +lucky man; every creature I have to do with tries to cheat or outwit me; +that Irish friend of yours, you--" + +"Excuse me, Sir," I interrupted, reddening; "cheating implies trust, and +you did not trust us. Mr. O'Reilly is the slave to his word. He kept his +to you; I had none to keep. You never asked him if he liked to give me +up; you never asked me if I liked being here. Do not wonder he did his +best to get me back, and I to get away." + +I spoke warmly; Mr. Thornton projected his nether lip, and shrugged his +shoulders impassionately. + +"You ridiculous little creature," he said, "why should I ask you if you +liked the medicine which I your physician knew to be good for you? Don't +you see that Irishman would have got tired of the young girl, as he once +did of the little girl, and sent her off somewhere? I spared him the +trouble." + +"Indeed," I replied indignantly, "he would not have got tired of me! If I +were his own child, Cornelius could not be fonder of me than he is." + +Mr. Thornton looked deep into me, and at first said nothing. + +"If you were his own child--eh!" he at length echoed. "Fudge!" + +"Fudge, Sir! And why should he not like me? He reared me, he taught me, +he watched by me when I was ill; he did everything for me. Why then +should he not like me?" + +I sat within a few paces of my grandfather; he stretched out bis arm, +placed his hand under my chin, raised my face so as to meet his bended +gaze, and again seemed to read me through. + +"Silly thing!" he said, a little contemptuously, and dropped his hand, +which I immediately caught, and imprisoned in both mine. + +"Oh, Sir!" I exclaimed, "I have kept my word; I will keep it still; but +pray let me go and see them--pray do. Where can the harm be in that? Oh! +pray, do let me!" + +In my eagerness, I could scarcely speak, and the words trembled on my +lips. + +"So," he said, "that is what you have been getting pale about, is it?-- +and fretting, eh?" + +I could not deny the imputation. He took his hand from me, frowned, and +looked displeased. + +"Margaret Burns," he observed, sharply, "you are a fool, and I am a still +greater fool not to let you rush on your fate. However, I am not going to +do it; so just make up your mind to stay here." + +With that he rose, took the paper for which he had come back, and left +me, bidding me not to forget that "Chaos and Creation." + +He did not come back for three days, which I spent alone in Thornton +House. It rained from morning until night, and I felt dull and miserable. +I passed the best part of my time in the study, reading; and there my +grandfather found me on his return. + +The afternoon was not far gone, and the weather seemed inclined to +improve. The rain had ceased; yellow streaks of sunlight pierced the gray +sky, and lit up the wet park. I sat by the window, through which streamed +in a doubtful light; a book lay on my lap unread, and with my two hands +clasped upon it, and my head low bent, I was absorbed in a waking dream, +when the sound of the opening door roused me. I looked up, and saw Mr. +Thornton, in his travelling dress, standing on the threshold, his two +hands resting on the head of his cane, his eyes attentively fixed upon +me. I said something about his return, and rose. He did not answer, but +came in slowly, and began taking off his great coat; then suddenly +pausing in the operation, he turned to me, and said abruptly: + +"What is it about?" + +"What, Sir?" I asked, astonished. + +"That you are crying for?" + +I hung down my head, and did not reply. + +"Has anything or any one annoyed you, whilst I was away?" he asked, in +the same short way. + +"No. Sir." + +"Then what are you crying for?" + +"Oh, Sir, you know!" 1 said, with involuntary emotion. + +"The old story, eh?" He walked up and down the room with his coat hanging +half off from one arm; then suddenly stopping before me, he said: "Since +you will be a fool, why be one and have your way. That friend of yours +has not yet left Leigh; if he will come here, and comply with a condition +that I shall exact, he may take you with him when and for as long as he +likes." + +I could scarcely believe my senses. I gazed incredulously at Mr. +Thornton, who told me not to be bewildered, but see about it. I needed no +second bidding, and ran out of the room at once. I met Charlotte on the +staircase. + +"Charlotte," I said, breathlessly, "can you take a letter for me to Leigh +immediately?" + +Before the girl could answer, Mrs. Marks, standing on the landing where I +had first seen her, chose to interfere. + +"Charlotte must get Mr Thornton's dinner ready," she said, majestically. + +"Very well," I replied more quietly; "Richard can do it." + +"Richard is out," she observed with evident satisfaction. + +"Then I can do it myself," I said impatiently. + +I ran up-stairs, got ready, and went off at once. It was only when I had +passed the lodge, that it occurred to me Mr. Thornton had not perhaps +intended me to be my own messenger; but it was too late to retreat; +besides I could not resist the temptation of seeing Cornelius again, so I +cast thought behind me, and went on. + +My heart beat fast as I reached Rock Cottage. The garden-gate stood ajar; +the door was open too; I entered and looked into both the parlours, then +passed on to the garden, hurried along the gravel path, and caught a +glimpse of him going down to the beach. I thought to call him back, but +changed my mind, and followed him silently. The path wound away to the +sands, sunk between sharp and rugged rocks. Down these, the gate and +garden left behind me, I ran lightly. I soon outstripped him, and stood +awaiting his approach on a point of rock that projected over the path. He +walked with folded arms and eyes bent on the earth. When he was within a +few paces of me, I dropped lightly down before him. If I had fallen from +the sky, he could scarcely have looked more astonished. He did not speak, +but took my hands in his, as if to make sure of my identity. + +"I am no spirit," I said, "but real flesh and blood." + +The blood rushed up to his brow. + +"You are come--come back to me after all!" he exclaimed ardently. "I knew +you would." And stooping, he pressed me to his heart with a passionate +fondness that made me forget all save the joy of seeing him again. I know +not what we said in that first moment. I felt one with him then, and his +words of endearment and gladness are irrevocably blended with mine in +memory. All I distinctly remember, is finding myself sitting with him in +the back-parlour of Rock Cottage, my two bands clasped on his shoulder, +my eyes raised up to his, and my ears drinking in with delight every word +that fell from his lips. He called me by every fond name he could think +of; blessed me over and over, and ended by saying eagerly: "Had we not +better go at once, my darling?" + +I started and woke from my dream. + +"Cornelius," I replied, hesitatingly, "I have not run away--I am come to +see you." + +He looked transfixed. + +"To see me!" he said at length; "and do you think I will let you leave +me? No, Daisy, you have placed in my way a temptation mortal man could +not resist. I tell you that I have you, and that I will keep you." + +He took my two hands in his. I tried to disengage them; but though his +grasp was so gentle I scarcely felt it, it held me completely captive. He +smiled at my useless efforts; then said with some reproach: + +"Oh, Daisy! the little girl whom I carried in my arms seven years ago, +was willing enough. I had not, even in jest, to hold her hands. She +clasped them around my neck lovingly and trustingly, laid her hand on my +shoulder, and had but one fear--lest I should leave her behind." + +He released me, and added, in his most fervent and beseeching accents: + +"Come with me, Daisy; come with me. If you ever cared for me, show it +now--come with me. Don't drive me to do something desperate--I tell you +that I will never leave Leigh without you. Come with me!" + +He had again clasped his arms around me, and held me within a circle more +potent than that of any magic spell. I laid my two hands on his +shoulders, and smiled up at him, as I replied: + +"I should have told you at once, but I was so glad, that I forgot it; and +you are so impatient that you won't hear me out. Mr. Thornton has changed +his mind--he says I may be with you and Kate again--all on a condition." + +"What condition?" he promptly asked. + +"I don't know--he will tell it to you himself, and you will agree to it-- +won't you, Cornelius?" + +"No," he replied, impatiently; "this is a snare. Besides, why submit to a +condition when I have you here without one? Oh, Daisy! now is the moment. +Fate, or rather Providence, has made us meet--we must not have the +madness to part again. I have missed one opportunity--I will not miss +another. Trust to me. Cast by all thought, all fear--look not behind or +before you. Come, Daisy, not to-morrow--not to-night--but now! Come with +me--come!" + +He rose, as if to lead me away that very moment; but he still held me +fast, and that clasp which the passion of the moment only rendered more +secure, his flushed face, eager looks, and feverish accents, all breathed +the most vehement and ardent entreaty. + +Subdued by his resolute tenderness, I yielded, but for a moment only; the +next, I rallied and resisted. I made a desperate effort, and, both bodily +and mentally, asserted my freedom. + +"No, no, Cornelius," I cried, agitatedly, "I cannot go with you. I, too, +have passed my word, and I must keep it--I must keep it; and you must not +ask or tempt me to break it--indeed, Cornelius, you must not." + +I spoke as I felt, with much distress. Cornelius calmed down at once, and +entreated me to be pacified. + +"I had forgotten your promise;" he said, "seeing you here, I had but one +thought [] to possess and secure that which I had lost. I will submit to +Mr. Thornton's conditions, and take you back to him this moment. What +more would you have?" + +In his earnestness, he again took my hand. My lips parted to thank him, +but the entrance of our old servant checked the words. She muttered +indistinctly, as was her wont, then kept the door open, and admitted--Mr. +Thornton. + +For a moment, he stood still on the threshold, and looked confounded. +Neither Cornelius nor I spoke. + +"So," he said at length, "I fancy I leave you safe at home writing a +letter, and give myself the trouble of coming here to have some private +talk with Mr. O'Reilly; and you are actually here before-hand with me." + +"I could find no one to send the letter by, Sir," I replied, quite +dismayed. "I am sorry if I have done wrong." + +"Wrong!" echoed Cornelius, looking displeased, and drawing me towards him +as he spoke. + +I saw his proud and hasty temper would ruin all; I hastened to interfere. + +"I have been speaking to Mr. O'Reilly," I said, quickly, "and he has +promised to abide by the conditions. You know, Cornelius, you have +promised," I added, turning towards him. + +He could not deny it, but reddened, and bit his lip. Mr. Thornton said +nothing, but sat down, and looked at us with a keen and attentive gaze, +which Cornelius did not seem to relish. + +"You wished to speak to me, Sir," he said, at length. + +"Yes, Sir," composedly answered my grandfather, "I came here for that +purpose, just as you came to me on the same errand seven years ago. Sir, +I am a plain man, and I shall speak plainly. I think it is a strange +thing that since you in some manner forced this young girl upon me, you +are ever doing all you can to get her back--ay, and a very strange +thing." + +He looked at him fixedly. Cornelius returned the gaze, and the question: + +"Is it a stranger thing, Sir, than that you, who accepted this young girl +so reluctantly, should since always show yourself so anxious to keep +her?" + +"Perhaps not," drily replied Mr. Thornton; "but I meant to be brief. What +I have to say is this: When I placed her with Mrs. Gray, I never +intended, Sir, that you should see her face again. I had my motives. The +physician having, however, pronounced her consumptive, I thought, if she +was to die, she might as well be humoured. But when I returned, a few +weeks ago, I learned that the little thing was alive and well; that you, +too, had returned from your travels, and had turned out a most vigilant +and attentive guardian; and it occurred to me that I might as well remind +you of your promise. For this, too, I had my motives. You redeemed your +word honourably, without taking advantage of your position or influence; +but it was the old story all over--no sooner was she out of your hands, +than you were half mad to have her back again. She, too, wanted to be +off; and, to show me what a tyrant I was, and what a victim I made of +her, she got thin and sallow with all her might. Sir, I give in; on the +condition I shall name presently--she may dispose of herself as she +thinks fit. But this time, as well as before, you owe me no thanks. It is +to gratify her I do it." + +"And this time, as before, it is to please her I submit to a condition," +haughtily replied Cornelius. + +I still stood by him and gave his arm a warning and entreating pressure. +My grandfather calmly resumed: + +"She is young, and much under your influence. I wish her to remain quite +free, and shall be satisfied if you will promise not to make a present of +her to any bosom friend of yours that might take a fancy to her, you +understand." + +"Yes, Sir, I understand." replied Cornelius, with subdued irritation, +"but I decline pledging myself for her." + +"I do not require it," said Mr. Thornton, a little ironically, "I care +not a rush on whom the silly thing bestows herself, but I like fair play, +and want her to give herself, and not to be given--or taken either. If +she runs away without your knowledge, depend upon it I shall not accuse +you. I ask you to pledge yourself for yourself--do you object?" + +"No, no," I replied eagerly for him, "Cornelius does not object. Bless +you, Mr. Thornton, _he_ does not want to give me away. Of course he does +not. You don't, Cornelius, do you?" I added, looking up in his face, and +passing my arm within his. + +My grandfather laughed sarcastically. Cornelius looked exasperated. He +seemed to be undergoing a sharp, inward struggle; at length he yielded. + +"For her sake, Sir," he said, addressing Mr. Thornton, "and hers alone, I +yield; I give you the promise you require. Allow me to add that you +either trust me a great deal too much, or far too little." + +He spoke with such defiant pride, that I looked half frightened at my +grandfather; but he only smiled and rose. I saw he was going, and left +Cornelius to bid him adieu. + +"Good-bye!" he said, roughly; yet when I passed my arm around his neck, +and, for the first time touched his cheek with my lips, he looked more +astonished than displeased; but he had so long broken with the charities +of life, that to return the embrace probably did not occur to him. All he +did was to look from me to Cornelius, and say, with a careless nod: + +"She's a pretty little thing," having delivered which opinion, he turned +away and left us. + +Scarcely had the door closed on him, when Cornelius broke out. + +"Oh, Daisy!" he exclaimed, "what have you made me do! And why must I, who +hate the mere thought of interference and subjection, thus hold you on +the good-will and pleasure of another." + +He paced the room with agitated steps. I saw his pride suffered, and +following him, I did my best to soothe him; at length I succeeded; he +stopped short before me, looked down at me with a smile, and said: + +"I almost forgive your perverse old grandfather everything, for the sake +of his last words. You are a pretty little thing--and better than you are +pretty," he added fondly. + +"Then mind you appreciate me," I replied. + +He said there was no fear that he should not. + +We left Leigh the next day, and Cornelius, according to the philosophic +injunction of Kate, locked up the house and brought the key in his +pocket. + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + + +Our journey was short and pleasant. Cornelius seemed quite gay again. In +order to surprise Kate, we stepped down from the cab at the end of the +lane, talking of that evening seven years before, when he had brought me +along the same path to the same dwelling. + +"Oh, Cornelius," I exclaimed, looking up at him, "was it not kind of Mr +Thornton to let me come back?" + +He looked down at me, and smiled as he replied: + +"I don't know that he meant it as any particular kindness to me; but that +he could do me none greater, I mean to show him yet." + +The lane was long; we walked slowly; the evening was one of early +autumn's most lovely ones, brown and mellow, our path was strewn with +fallen leaves, but the beauty of summer was still in the sky, and its +warmth in the glorious setting sun. As we approached the well-known door, +we saw Kate in her hair, standing on the threshold and talking to two +little Irish beggars, whom she was scolding and stuffing at the same +time. As she turned round, she saw us, and looked at us with incredulous +astonishment. I ran up to her, and threw my arm around her neck. + +"I am come back," I cried, "indeed I am." + +"I see and feel it; but is it for good?" + +"To be sure." + +She kissed me heartily, then pushed me away and said, "there was no +getting rid of that girl, but that she knew well enough Cornelius would +not come back without her," then she turned to the two petitioners, bade +them be off and never show their faces again, and ended by telling them +to call for some cold meat on Monday. This matter dispatched, she shut +the door and followed us in. As we passed through the garden, I saw with +surprise that it was no longer separated from its neighbour. + +"No," said Kate, with some pride, "it is now one garden and one dwelling, +Daisy. No more tenants, you know. I like room. Are you too tired to come +and see the changes I have made?" + +We both said "No," and Miss O'Reilly took us over the whole house at +once. It was much larger, and much improved; we had parlours to spare +now; drawing-rooms elegantly furnished, bed-rooms more than we needed; so +that, as Kate said, if any old friend came from Ireland--though she was +afraid they must be all dead, for they never came--or if those two good +friends of Cornelius, Schwab and Armari, should leave fair Italy for +smoky London, they could be accommodated easily. Thus talking carelessly, +Miss O'Reilly took us to the top of the house, where we found the old +dream of Cornelius fairly realised: several rooms thrown into one, with a +skylight. She laughed at his surprise; pushed him away, and told him to +keep his distance when he kissed her, then suddenly flung her arms around +his neck and embraced him ardently. + +We returned to our old life on the very next day, as if it had known no +interruption. I sat to Cornelius, who painted with renewed ardour; +towards dusk he took me out walking; when evening had fairly set in, he +gave me my Italian lesson, and when that was over, he sang and played or +read aloud. He never seemed to think of going out; one evening, when his +sister insisted on making him leave us, he returned at the end of ten +minutes. "He had not been able," he said, "to get beyond the end of the +grove. There was, after all, no place like home." + +"Domestic man!" observed Kate, smiling as he sat down by me on my sofa. + +Without seeming to hear her, he took up Shakespeare from the table, and +began reading aloud the most fervent and beautiful passages from Romeo +and Juliet. Then he suddenly closed the book and turning on me, asked how +I liked the story of the two Italian lovers. + +"Were they not a little crazy, Cornelius?" I replied; "but I suppose love +always makes people more or less ridiculous." + +On hearing this heretic sentiment, Cornelius looked orthodox and shocked. + +"Ridiculous!" he said, "who has put such ideas into your head?" He +glanced suspiciously at Kate who hastily observed: + +"I had nothing to do with it." + +"Do you think I could not find that out alone?" I asked, laughing. + +But Cornelius remained quite grave. Did I not know love was a most +exalted feeling? That angels loved in Heaven, and that poor mortals could +not do better than imitate them on earth? That love was the attribute of +the female mind, its charm and its power? On these high moral grounds, he +proceeded to give me an eloquent description of the universal passion. It +was pure, it was noble, tender and enduring; it was light and very +joyous; it had sweetness and great strength; it refined the mind; it +purified the heart; and, though seemingly so exclusive, it filled to +overflowing with the sense of universal charity. It was a chain of subtle +and mysterious sympathies. + +Here I rapidly passed my forefinger along his profile, and resting it on +the tip of his nose, I said gravely: + +"Kate! is it aquiline or Roman? Aquiline, I think." + +On feeling and hearing this piece of impertinence, Cornelius turned round +on me with such a start of vexation and wrath, that I jumped up, and ran +off to the chair of Kate. She only laughed at her brother's discomfiture. +He said nothing, but sat fuming alone on the sofa. + +"Serve you right," she said, "why will you explain love philosophically +to a girl of seventeen? Don't you see her hour is not come, and that if +it were, she would know more than you could tell her?" + +Cornelius sharply replied "that was not at all the question, but that +when he spoke, he thought he might be listened to." + +"I did listen to you," I said, "your last words were: 'a chain of subtle +and mysterious sympathies.'" + +He did not answer, but took up Shakespeare, and looked tragic over it. + +"He's vexed," I whispered audibly to Kate. "He looks like Othello, the +Moor of Venice. What shall I do? I am afraid of the sofa-pillow, if I go +near him! He looked a while ago as if he longed to throw it at me; just +because I said his nose was aquiline, and broke his chain of subtle and +mysterious sympathies." + +"Kate!" said Cornelius, looking up from his book, "can't you make that +girl hold her tongue?" + +Kate declined the office, and sent me back to him. He pretended to be +very angry, but when I deliberately took Shakespeare from him and shut +it, he smiled, smoothed my hair, and called me by two or three of the +fondest of the many fond and endearing names in Irish, English, and +Italian, which it was now his habit to bestow upon me, and thus our +little quarrels always ended. + +I was very happy; yet here as well as at Leigh, the restless spirit of +youth was stirring within me. Kate had suffered much, she liked repose; +Cornelius had travelled, home sufficed him. My sorrows had been few, and +Leigh was the extent of my peregrinations. Of home, of the daily comedies +and dramas, which can be enacted in a human dwelling, I knew something; +but of life, busy, active, outward life I knew less than most girls of my +age, and they--poor things--knew little enough. Kate seldom went beyond +her garden; when Cornelius took me out in the evening, it was for a quiet +walk in the lanes. I said nothing, but I never passed by the landing +window on my way to or from the studio, without stopping to look with a +secret longing at the cloud of smoke hanging above London. Cornelius +found me there on the afternoon which followed his Shakspearian reading, +and he said with some curiosity: + +"Daisy, what attraction is there in that prospect of brick and smoke?" + +"What part of London lies next to us?" I asked, instead of answering. + +"Oxford Street; you surely know Oxford Street?" + +"I remember having been there two or three times." + +"Two or three times! You do not mean to say you have never been in Oxford +Street more than two or three times!" + +"Indeed I do, Cornelius. I was ten when I came here, always weak and +sickly; then we went to Leigh, and we have been back about a fortnight. +It is not so wonderful, you see." + +Cornelius smiled, smoothed my hair, and said something about "violets in +the shade, and birds in their nests." + +"Yes, but birds leave their nests sometimes, don't they, Cornelius?" I +asked a little impatiently. + +"You want to go to town," he exclaimed, astonished. + +I smiled. + +"Oh!" he said, reproachfully, "have you really a wish, and will you not +give me the pleasure of gratifying it? Do tell me what you wish for, +Daisy--pray do." + +He spoke warmly, and looked eagerly into my face. + +"Well, then," I replied, "take me some day to Oxford Street. I know the +Pantheon is there, and I remember it as a sort of fairy-palace." + +"Some day!--to-day, Daisy--this very day. Though this is not the season, +there must be places worth seeing; museums, exhibitions--" + +"The streets with the shops, the people, and the great current of life +running through them, will entertain me far more than museums or made-up +exhibitions." + +"Why did you not say so sooner?" + +"Kate dislikes long walks." + +"But do I?--do I dislike long walks with you, Daisy, in town or country, +in lanes or in streets? Is there anything I like better than to please or +amuse you?" + +Without allowing me to thank him, he told me to make haste and get ready. +I obeyed, and within an hour, Cornelius and I were walking down Oxford +Street. + +London, according to a figurative mode of speech, was quite empty; that +is to say, a few all-important hundreds had taken flight, and left the +insignificant thousands behind, just to mind the place in their absence. +To me, after the long quietness of Leigh, it looked as gay and crowded as +a fair. At once I flew to the shops, like a moth to the light, and +Cornelius, with a good humour rare in his sex, not only stood patiently +whilst I admired, but kept a sharp look out for every milliner's and +linendraper's establishment, saying, eagerly:-- + +"There's another one, Daisy." + +But, after a while, I was dazzled with all I saw, deafened with the sound +of rolling carriages, bewildered with the unusual aspect of so many +people, and glad to take refuge in the Pantheon, with its flowers, its +birds, its statues, its pictures, its fanciful stalls, and its profusion +of those graceful knick-knacks which have ever been, and ever will be, +the delights of a truly feminine heart. + +We had entered this pretty place by Great Marlborough Street. Cornelius +began by buying me a beautiful, but most extravagant bouquet, which I had +been imprudent enough to admire, and did not like to refuse. As we +loitered about, I looked at one of the birds in the cages around the +little fountain, and praised its glowing plumage. + +"Have it," eagerly said Cornelius, and his purse was out directly. + +"No, indeed," I quickly replied, "I do not like birds in cages." + +"Well, then, have one of those squirrels." + +"I will have nothing alive. And I will not have a plant either," I added, +detecting the look he cast at the expensive flowers around us. I +compelled him to put back his purse; but as we went on, and inspected the +stalls, I bad to entreat add argue him out of buying me, first a vase of +magnificent wax flowers; then a _papier-mach?_ table, and thirdly, some +costly china. No sooner did my eye chance to light with pleasure on +anything, than he insisted on giving it to me. At length, I told him he +spoiled all my enjoyment. He asked, with a dissatisfied air, if I was too +proud to accept anything from him. I assured him I had no such feeling, +and that he might buy me something before we went home, if such was his +fancy. + +"What?" he asked, with a look of mistrust. + +"Anything you like; but for the present, pray let me look about." + +He yielded; but I wished afterwards I had let him have his own way; for +as we were leaving the Pantheon, with all its temptations, and I thought +all right, Cornelius suddenly took me into a shop, and before I could +remonstrate, he had bought me a light blue silk dress, as dear as it was +pretty. I left the place much mortified; he saw it, and laughed at me, +telling me to take this as a lesson, for that he would not be thwarted. + +We took a cab and rode home; yet it was dusk when we reached the Grove. A +light burned in the drawing-room window. We wondered what company Kate +was entertaining; and on going up-stairs, found her sitting with our old +friend, Mr. Smalley. We had not seen him since his marriage with Miriam +Russell. He was now a widower. He looked paler and thinner than formerly; +but as good and gentle as ever. He and Cornelius exchanged a greeting +friendly, though rather calm and reserved. With me, Mr. Smalley was more +open; but as he held my hand in his, he looked at me, and, smiling, +turned to Cornelius. + +"I should never have known in her the sickly child whom I still +remember," he said; "indeed, my friend, your adopted daughter has thriven +under your paternal care. Hush, darling!" + +He was addressing a child of two or three, who clung to him, casting shy +looks around the room, and seeming very ready to cry. To pacify her, he +sat down again, and took her on his knee. She nestled close to him, and +was hushed at once. Mr. Smalley made a little paternal apology. Darling +had insisted on coming with him, and as she would not stay with his +sister Mary, he had to take her with him wherever he went. + +"Those young creatures," he added, looking at Cornelius, "twine +themselves around our very heart-strings. I know what a truly paternal +heart yours is for your adopted daughter." + +"Ay, ay!" interrupted Cornelius, looking fidgetty, "how is Trim?" + +"He died a year ago," gravely replied Mr. Smalley. "Ah! my friend, my +heart smote me when I heard the tidings. I had always been harsh to Trim, +you know." + +"You harsh to any one!" said Cornelius, smiling. + +But Mr. Smalley assured him his nature was harsh; though, with the grace +of God, he had been able to subdue it a little. Darling, he might add, +had been the means of softening many an asperity. He kissed her kindly as +he spoke. She was a pale, fair-haired little creature, very like him, and +evidently indulged to excess. He was wrapped in her, and when of her own +accord, she left him to come to me, he felt so much astonished, that he +could speak of nothing else. In her two years' life, Darling had never +done such a thing before. Indeed her shyness, he plainly hinted, was +alone an insuperable obstacle to a second union. + +"Mr. Smalley," I said, "Darling has just agreed to stay with me, if you +will leave her." + +"You have bewitched her," he replied, giving me a grateful look; but he +confessed it would be a great weight off his mind; and with many thanks +and evident regret, he left me the treasure of his heart. + +Darling soon fell asleep in my arms. One of her little hands was clasped +around my neck, the other held mine; her fair head rested on my bosom, +and her calm, sleeping face lay upraised and unconscious with closed eyes +and parted lips. I stooped, and with some emotion, softly kissed the +child of my persecutor. Cornelius, who sat by me, whispered the two +concluding lines of Wordsworth's sonnet, with a slight modification: + + "How much is mixed and reconciled in thee, + Of mother's love, with maiden purity." + + +Then bending over me, he attempted to embrace Darling; but his beard woke +her; she screamed, kicked, burst into a new fit of crying every time he +attempted to sit near me, and said "her papa should take me to Rugby." + +"And be your mamma. No, indeed, Miss Smalley," replied Cornelius, tartly. +"She is mine, and I keep her." + +To teaze her, he passed his arm around me, and caressed me, upon which +Darling got into such a passion, that he asked impatiently "if I would +not put the sulky little thing to bed?" + +She succeeded on this and on subsequent occasions in keeping him at a +safe distance from me. At first her childish jealousy amused him, but as +she was in other respects a very endearing little thing, and engrossed me +like a new toy, Cornelius did not relish it at all. He looked especially +uncomfortable during Mr. Smalley's daily visits, and to my amusement, for +I know well enough what he was afraid of, he did not seem easy, until +both Darling and her papa were fairly gone. + +I always made my own dresses, and I made the blue silk one with great +care. It was finished one afternoon before dusk. I put it on in my room, +and came down to show it to Kate; she was not in the parlour. I felt +anxious to see how it fitted, and got up on a chair to look at myself in +the glass over the fire-place. At that very moment Cornelius entered. I +jumped down, rather ashamed at being caught. He came up to me, and +without saying a word, took a white rose from a vase of flowers, and put +it in my hair. I took another, and fastened it to the front of my dress. +Then he took my hand in his, and drawing a little back from me, he +smiled. I sighed, and asked: + +"What shall I do with it, Cornelius?" + +"Look pretty in it, as you do now." + +"But where shall I wear it?" + +"Here, of course." + +"It is only fit for a party. Why have we no party to go to?" + +"Because people don't ask us," was his frank reply. + +"I wish they would." + +"To be seen and admired by others besides Cornelius O'Reilly, you vain +little creature." + +"It is not for that; but I should like a party or so." + +"Well, when we get invited, I shall take you," he replied, with a smile +that provoked me. + +"Yes," I said, colouring, "but you know no one will ask us. We go +nowhere; we see no one, not even artists. I wish you would see artists." + +"I don't care about English artists," he replied, drily. + +"Well then, Irish." + +"Still less. The three kingdoms and the principality do not yield one +with whom I would care to spend an hour." + +"But I want to see artists." + +"And am I not an artist?" + +"Oh! I know you so well! What is your friend Armari like?" + +"A good-looking Italian," replied Cornelius, whistling carelessly, with +his hands in his pockets, "rather given to be in love with every woman he +sees." + +"And Mr. Schwab?" + +"A good-looking German, and a professed woman-hater." + +"I wish they would come." + +"But they won't," he said, with evident satisfaction. + +"You are glad of it!" I exclaimed a little indignantly. "You are glad +that I have no parties to go to; that I see no one." + +I turned away half angrily; he caught me back, ardently entreating me not +to be vexed with him; "He could not bear it," he said. Astonished and +mute, I looked up into his bending face. The time had been when I had +trembled before a look and a frown, and now a petulant speech of mine +distressed him thus. + +"Forgive me," he earnestly continued, "for not having forestalled your +wishes; but I cared so little for other society than yours, that I forgot +mine might not be to you so delightful and engrossing. A party, I cannot +command, but I shall take you to the play this very evening." + +I wanted to refuse, but he would hear of no objection, though I told him +plainly he had not the money to spare. + +"And if it is my pleasure to spend on you the little I have--what about +it, Daisy?" + +At length I yielded; and, on his request, went up to ask Kate to join us. +She refused peremptorily, and said she liked home best. As she helped me +to finish my toilet, she gave me sundry instructions concerning my +behaviour. I was to let Cornelius be civil to me, it was his turn now, +and if he picked up my glove, carried my shawl or put it on, I was to +take it as a matter of course. + +"Very well, Kate," I said, "but it is odd." + +"Why so!" + +"I don't know, but it is odd." + +We were entering the parlour where Cornelius stood waiting for me. I gave +him the shawl I had brought down on my arm. + +"You are to put that on me," I said, "for Kate says you are to be civil +to me; so I hope you will, and not disgrace me in the face of the whole +house by any want of proper attention due to the sex. I cannot go and +tell the people 'you need not wonder at his being so rude; it is all +because he knew me when I was a little girl.'" + +"Impertinent little thing," observed Kate, "I only told her not to be +civil to you." + +"Well, am I? I spoke as impertinently as I could. Did I not, Cornelius?" + +"Indeed you did," he replied, smiling, and helping me to pin my shawl on. +"Have you any more commands for me?" + +"Only just to hold my fan, my gloves, my scent-bottle, my handkerchief, +and to give me your arm." + +He managed to obey me; Kate smiled approvingly, and we entered the cab +which was waiting for us at the door. Cornelius took me to a house which +had not long been open, but where both performances and actors were said +to be good. We occupied the front seats of a centre box, and commanded a +full view of the stage and audience. I was young, unaccustomed to +pleasure, and easily amused. I felt interested in the play, and when the +second act was over, I turned to Cornelius and said-- + +"Do you think Lady Ada will marry her cousin?" + +"I suppose so," he replied, without looking at me. + +"Oh! Cornelius, I hope not; he is not the right one, you know." + +"Is he not?" + +"Oh! dear, no; what can you have been thinking of?" + +"That there never was a more insolent fellow than that man in the pit," +replied Cornelius, who looked much irritated, "for the whole of the last +act he has kept his opera-glass fully bent upon you." + +"Then his neck must ache by this." + +"How coolly you take it!" + +"What am I to do?" + +"Nothing, of course; but surely you will grant that sort of admiration is +very insolent." + +"How do I know it is admiration? He may be thinking 'poor girl, what a +pity she is so shockingly dressed, or has such a bad figure, or has not +better features!'" + +"Do you think a man loses a whole act to find out that a girl is plain?" +sceptically asked Cornelius. + +I did not answer. He very unreasonably construed this into being pleased +with being looked at. Wishing to get rid of the subject, I asked him to +change places with me; he accepted at once, and took my seat, whilst I +sat partly behind him. At first this produced nothing; the gentleman with +the opera-glass really seemed to enjoy the face of Cornelius quite as +much as mine. + +"He has not found it out yet," I said. But even as I spoke, the +individual I alluded to rose and left the pit. + +"Oh! he has found it out, has he?" ironically inquired Cornelius. + +The third act was beginning when the door of our box opened, and a +foreign-looking man, dark and handsome, entered. I felt sure it was +Armari, it was; but it also was the gentleman with the opera-glass, a +fact that gave rather an odd character to the greeting of Cornelius. + +Most foreigners are self-possessed. Signor Armari was pre-eminently so. +He looked at me as if he knew not the use of the opera-glass, which he +still held, and even had the assurance to offer it to me. I did not know +Italian sufficiently to understand the whole of his discourse; but it +seemed to me that its chief purport was an enthusiastic, intense +admiration of the golden hair, blue eyes, and dazzling complexions of +English ladies--a theme that, by no means, appeared to delight Cornelius. +Signor Armari remained with us until the play was over. We then parted +from him, and never once mentioned his name, until we reached the Grove. + +Kate was sitting up for us. She received us with a pleased smile, asked +how we had been entertained, and what the play was about. I told her as +well as I could, but, after the second act, my memory was rather at +fault. + +Cornelius said, pointedly: + +"You must not wonder if she does not remember it better. I was talking to +Armari." + +"What, your old friend Armari?" interrupted Kate. + +"Yes, he is in England." + +He spoke with a calmness that astonished her. + +"Are you not delighted to see him?" she asked. + +"I am very glad to see Armari," he replied, in a tone of ice. "I have +asked him to dine with us next Thursday. He has promised to bring +Schwab." + +"Schwab, too!--was he there?" + +"No; he was kept at home by a cold." + +"They shall have a good dinner," warmly said Kate. "Midge, is Armari as +handsome as Cornelius described him in his letters?" + +"He is good-looking," I replied, awkwardly. + +"Pleasant?" + +"Yes--I don't know--I think so." + +"Armari," gravely said Cornelius, "resembles the celebrated portraits of +Raffaelle. He is something more than good-looking--he is a delightful +companion, and something more than pleasant." + +"I am sure he is not the common-place fellow you made him out, Daisy," +observed Kate. + +"I did not make him out anything; I don't think about him at all," I +replied, half vexed. + +"Well, you need not colour up so," she said, looking surprised; "and you +need not look so glum about it, Cornelius. Tastes differ." + +Neither replied. Miss O'Reilly, whose whole thoughts were absorbed in +hospitality, did not notice this, but added, with a start: + +"How long are they to stay?" + +"Two or three weeks." + +"Then ask them to spend those two or three weeks here," she rejoined, +triumphantly. "I have bed-rooms to spare, you know." + +"Here--in the house?" exclaimed Cornelius. + +"Where else should I have bed-rooms?" + +"Thank you," was his short reply. + +"Does thank you, mean yes?" + +"No, indeed. What should they do here?" + +He seemed impatient and provoked. His sister asked if he would not feel +glad to have his friends near him? He replied "Certainly," but that they +came to see London, and not to coop themselves up in a suburb. Miss +O'Reilly said she would at least make the offer. Her brother looked quite +irritated. + +"Schwab will smoke you to death," he said. + +"As if I were not used to smoking." + +"My cigars are nothing to his Turkish pipe. Besides, he swears awfully." + +"In German," philosophically replied Kate. "Let him, Cornelius: I shall +not understand him; and it will only be the worse for his own soul, poor +heathenish fellow." + +"He is a confirmed woman-hater." + +"Unhappy man, not to know better!--but there is a comfort in it, too. I +shall not be afraid of his making love to Daisy." + +"He will eat you out of house and home." + +"I am astonished at such a mean, paltry objection," replied Miss +O'Reilly, waxing indignant. + +"Well, then," he said, impatiently, "take it for granted that I do not +want Schwab." + +"I suppose you could not ask Armari alone?" + +"No," was the prompt reply. "To tell you the truth, Kate, I want to work +hard, and their presence in the house would interfere with it." + +"Could you not say so at once, instead of abusing that unfortunate +Schwab? Well, your friends shall at least have a good dinner." + +Miss O'Reilly was learned in many a dainty dish, and had imparted to me +some of her art. Our united skill and efforts produced as luxurious a +little dinner for five as one need wish to see. The guests were punctual +to the very minute; there was no delay, no spoiling of dishes and chafing +of tempers, and all would have gone on admirably, but for an unlucky +circumstance. Kate and I did not speak Italian, and the friends of +Cornelius did not speak English; bad French was therefore the medium of +our conversation. Kate liked talking, and she sat with a provoked air +between her two guests whom I watched with silent amusement. With his +dark hair, his classical features, ivory throat, and collar turned down ? +la Byron, Signor Armari looked very interesting; but all his vivacity +seemed gone. He hung his handsome head with dismal grace, like a wounded +bird, smiled at the untouched food on his plate, and gave us looks that +seemed to say: "Eat away--eat away." + +The injunction was religiously obeyed by his friend Schwab. He belonged +to the handsome Germanic type, and was very like an illustrious +personage. He had an honest, hearty northern appetite, and marched into +the dishes, and tossed off the claret with a careless vigour that edified +Kate. It was pleasant to see him dispatch the choicest dainties of the +dessert without even a smile. When he came indeed to some tarts, in which +I think I may say I had distinguished myself, his countenance relaxed a +little; and when Cornelius informed him that they owed their existence to +me, Mr. Schwab looked at me with an uplifting of the eye-brow expressive +of wonder and admiration. + +I had expected a dull evening, and I spent a very pleasant one. The two +friends of Cornelius sang and played admirably, and treated us to the +most exquisite music I had ever heard. Both Kate and I were delighted, +and when they were gone, said how much we had been pleased. + +"I like that Schwab," observed Kate, "he is very good-looking, and not +the bear you made him out, Cornelius. He has a good appetite, but your +great eaters are the men after all. The little eaters are only half-and- +half sort of people; and then he sings so well, and so does Armari. How +handsome he is; but how melancholy he looks! Is he in love?" + +Cornelius looked on thorns, and replied: "he did not know." + +To our surprise and vexation, his friends came no more near us. He said +they found the distance too great, and spent his evenings with them. I +did not like that at all, and one evening spared no coaxing to keep him +at home. I passed my arms around his neck, and caressed him, and +entreated him to stay with me and Kate. He returned the caresses, called +me by every dear name he could think of, protested that he would much +rather stay than go, but left me all the same. I had taken the habit--it +is one easily taken--of being humoured. I now cried with vexation and +grief. Kate said nothing, but privately invited her brother's friends to +come and stay with us. They accepted. I shall never forget the face of +Cornelius, when she quietly informed him they were coming the next day. + +"Coming to stay?" he said looking at her incredulously. + +"Yes, coming to stay," she composedly replied, "you did not think I was +going to stand that much longer--such a mean way of receiving one's +friends. Why, what would be thought of us in Ireland, if it were known! +For shame, Cornelius, you look quite dismayed." + +So he did, and repeated the word "coming!" with ill-repressed irritation. + +"Yes, coming!" persisted Kate, "don't trouble yourself about them. I +shall so stuff Mr. Schwab's mouth, as to leave no room even for German +swearing, and I shall turn up Signor Armari into the drawing room where +he may sing Italian to Daisy. So there's a division of tasks." + +"Nice division, indeed," said Cornelius, seeming much provoked. "You +forget that I want Daisy." + +Our dwelling was honoured the following day by receiving the two +strangers. They had made some progress in English; and though Signor +Armari was still rather melancholy, we got on much better; but to my +annoyance and chagrin, I could scarcely see anything of him or his +friend. In the daytime, Cornelius kept me in his studio, which they never +entered but twice in my absence; in the evening he either went out with +them, or got me in a corner of the sofa, and sat most pertinaciously by +me. Once, however, he was late, and accordingly found me between his two +friends, hearing them through the universal verb, to love, which one +pronounced, "I loaf," and the other, "I loove." They laughed good- +humouredly at their own mistakes, and I laughed too; but Cornelius seemed +to think it no joke, and looked on with a face of tragic gloom. + +He took care this should happen no more. At the end of a fortnight our +guests left us. Cornelius saw them off, and came back with a pleased and +relieved aspect that did not escape his sister. I was sitting with her in +the parlour by the fire, for the cold weather was beginning. He sat down +by me, smoked a cigar with evident enjoyment, and declared those were the +two best fellows he had ever met with--Schwab especially. Something in my +face betrayed me; he took out his cigar, and hastily said: + +"What is it, Daisy?" + +"What is what, Cornelius?" + +"What did Armari do to annoy you?" + +"He did nothing." + +"Why do you look so odd, then?" + +I did not answer. + +"Why, you foolish fellow," said Kate, laughing, and not heeding my +entreating look, "it was Schwab, that best of good fellows." + +"Was he rude or bearish?" asked Cornelius, reddening. + +"Rude!" she replied, impatiently, "he was too civil!" + +"Schwab!" echoed Cornelius, in the tone of Caesar's 'Et tu Brute'-- +"Schwab, too!" + +"Cornelius," I said, a little indignantly, "it was Schwab alone, if you +please." + +He did not heed me; he was lost in his indignation and astonishment. + +"Schwab!" he said again--"Schwab, the woman-hater?" + +"There are no women-haters," observed his sister; "her tarts softened his +obdurate heart from the first day, and Cupid did the rest. Now you need +not look so desperately gloomy, Cornelius; he was not more civil than he +had a right to be; and when she let him see quietly she did not like it, +he, sensible man, thought there were girls as good and as pretty in +Germany, and did not break his heart about her. He kept his own counsel, +so did we; and but for me, you would be none the wiser." + +"Thank you," shortly said Cornelius, "but as I know this much, and as I +am sure there is more, perhaps you will be good enough to tell me all +about Armari now." + +"Ah! poor fellow," sighed Kate, "he is in a very bad way; I noticed he +could scarcely eat, and Schwab said he had not slept a wink since that +night at the play." + +"He will get over it," impatiently interrupted Cornelius. "I have known +him seven times in the same way." + +"Then he must lead rather an agitated life; but, as I was saying, or +rather, as Mr. Schwab told me, he has lost rest and appetite since that +night at the play, when he saw the beautiful Mrs. Gleaver in the box next +yours." + +She knew all about the opera-glass, and glanced mischievously at her +brother. He reddened, looked disconcerted, and exclaimed hastily: + +"I don't believe a bit of that." + +"Yes, you do," she replied quietly, "and now, Cornelius, mind my words: +that sort of thing is not in the girl's way, and will not be for a good +time yet; perhaps never, for she has a very flinty heart." + +"Don't I know it?" he replied composedly, "and was it not Christian +charity made me uneasy about poor Armari? I feared lest that brown, +golden hair of hers," he added, smoothing it as he spoke, "might prove +such a web as even his heart could not break. Lest her eyebrow, so dark +and fine, might be the very bow of Cupid. Lest--" + +"Spare us the rest," interrupted Kate, "it must be an arrow shot from the +eye at the very least. Don't you see, besides, the girl has sense enough +to laugh at it all; though I don't mean to say that if Signor Armari +loses his heart and gets it back again so easily, he might not have paid +her that little compliment. However, he did not, and it is as well, for +she does not chance to be one of those soft girls, who, poor things, must +be in love to exist; and her jealous grandpapa, who does not care about +her himself, and yet won't let another have her, is, if he but knew it, +perfectly safe." + +"Is he?" said Cornelius, throwing back his head in his old way. + +"Indeed he is," replied his sister, poking the fire in her old way, too; +"another piece of advice, Cornelius: don't make the girl vain by talking +and acting, as if she were the only decent-looking one in existence." + +"There grows but one flower in my garden," he said, looking at me with a +fond smile, "and so I fancy that every one casts on it a longing eye; as +if elsewhere there grew no flowers." + +His flower laid her head upon his shoulder, and looking up in his face, +laughed at him for his pains. + +"Laugh away!" he observed philosophically, "you have opened in the shade, +and you know nothing of the sun; but the sun, my little Daisy, will shine +on you yet." + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + + +I have often tried to remember how passed the autumn and winter--but in +vain. No striking events marked that time; and its subtle changes I was +then too heedless and too ignorant to note or understand. Two things I +have not forgotten. + +One is that, next to his painting of course, the chief thought of +Cornelius seemed to be to please and amuse me. He spent all his money in +taking me about, and literally covered me with his gifts. He had an +artist's eye for colour and effect, and was never tired of adorning me in +some new way more becoming than the last. When I remonstrated and accused +him of extravagance, he asked tenderly if he could spend the money better +than on his own darling? In short, the great study of his life seemed to +be to lavish on me, every proof of the most passionate fondness. + +I was and always had been so fond of him myself, that I wondered at +nothing, not even at his fits of jealousy; the heart that gives much is +not astonished at receiving much, I let myself be loved without caring +why or how. I knew he was devotedly fond of me; I feared no rival; I no +longer felt the sting of his indifference or the bitter pang of his +jealousy. I had nothing to stimulate my curiosity; nothing to desire or +to dread; nothing but to be as happy as the day was long. + +The other thing, I remember, is that I had in some measure seized on the +power it had pleased Cornelius to relinquish. My will was more powerful +over him, than his over me. I did not seek for it; but thus it was. It is +almost ever so in human affections: perfect equality between two seldom +exists; the sway yielded up by one is immediately and instinctively +assumed by the other. With the least exertion of his will, Cornelius +could again have converted me into a submissive and obedient child; but +to govern always requires a certain amount of indifference; and he seemed +to have lost both the power and the wish to rule. I should not have been +human if I had not taken some advantage of this. I loved him as dearly as +ever; but, secure of his fondness and affection, 1 did not, as once, make +his pleasure my sole law. I also remembered that we had a few +differences; mere trifles they then seemed to me, and Kate herself made +light of them. + +"Don't fidget," she invariably said to her brother; "she's but a child." + +"A child!" he once replied, with a sigh; "you should hear her +philosophize with me!" + +"Well, then, she's a philosophical child." + +"I don't know what she is," he answered, giving me a reproachful look. "I +sometimes think Providence sent her to me as a chastisement for my sins." + +"Poor sinner!" said Kate, smiling, "what a penance!" + +We were all three sitting in the parlour by the fireside. I pretended to +be much concerned, and hid my face in the sofa-pillow. Cornelius gently +entreated me not to take it so much to heart, assured me I was no +penance, but the joy of his life, and the light of his eyes; made me look +up, and saw me laughing at him again. + +"There," he said, biting his lip and looking provoked, "do you see her, +Kate?" + +"She is young and merry. Let her laugh." + +"But why will she not be serious? Why will she be so provokingly flighty +and slippery?" + +"Nonsense!" interrupted Kate. "Let her be what she likes now; she'll be +grave enough a few years hence." + +He sighed, and called me his perverse darling. I laughed again, and bade +him sing me an Irish song. He obeyed, and thus it ended. + +As I was not conscious of giving Cornelius any real cause of offence, I +made light of his vexation or annoyance, of which, indeed, as I have felt +since then, he showed me but that which he could not help betraying. Had +he been more tyrannical or exacting, my eyes might have opened; but he +could not bear to give me pain. He let me torment him to my heart's +content, also disdaining, it may be, to complain or lament. Once only he +lost all patience. It was towards the close of winter. Kate was out; we +sat alone in the parlour by the fireside. Cornelius had made me put down +my work, and sat by me, holding my two hands in one of his, smoothing my +hair with the other, and telling me--he had an eloquent tongue that knew +how to tell those things, neither too much in earnest, nor yet too much +in jest--of his fondness and affection. But I was not just then in the +endearing mood. I tried to disengage my hands, and not succeeding, I said +a little impatiently:-- + +"Pray don't!" + +He understood, or rather misunderstood me; for he drew away, reddening a +little, and looking more embarrassed than displeased, he observed:-- + +"Where is the harm, Daisy?" + +"The harm?" I echoed, astonished at the idea, for between him and me I +had never felt the shadow of a reserved thought; "why, of course, there +is no harm, since it is you," I added, giving one of his dark locks a +pull; "but it gives me the fidgets." + +Cornelius looked exasperated. + +"Thank you, Daisy," he said, with an indignant laugh, "thank you! I am no +one; but I give you the fidgets!" + +"Why, what have I done now?" I asked, amazed. "How is it, Cornelius, that +I so often offend you without even knowing why?" + +"And is not that the exasperating part of the business?" he exclaimed, a +little desperately. "If you cared a pin for me, you would know--you would +guess." + +"If I cared a pin for you!" I began; my tears checked the rest. + +He stopped in the act of rising, to look down at me with a strange +mixture of love and wrath. + +"I'll tell you what, Daisy," he said, and his voice trembled and his lips +quivered, "I'll tell you what, it is an odd thing to feel so much anger +against you and yet so much fondness. I feel as if I could do anything to +you, but I cannot bear to see you shed those few tears. Daisy, have the +charity not to weep." + +He again sat by me. I checked my tears. He wiped away those that still +lingered on my cheek. I looked up at him and asked, a little +triumphantly: + +"Cornelius, where was the use of your flying out so?" + +"You may well say so," he replied, rather bitterly. "Do you think I don't +know that if 1 were cool and careless, you would like me none the worse; +but what avails the knowledge, since I never can use it against you?" + +I laughed at the confession. + +"And so that is the end of it," he said, looking somewhat downcast, +"there seems to be on me a spell, that will never let me end as I begin. +Oh! Daisy; why do I like you so well? That is the heel of Achilles--the +only vulnerable point which, do what I will, renders me so powerless and +so weak." + +"Then you do like me, you see," I said, smoothing his hair, "spite of all +my faults!" + +"Yes, I do like you," he replied, returning the caress with a peculiar +look, "and yet, Daisy, I am getting rather wearied of this task of +Sisyphus, which I am ever doing, and which somehow or other is never +done." + +"It was the heel of Achilles a while back, and now it is the stone of +Sisyphus! What has put you into so mythological a mood?" + +Cornelius coloured, then turned pale, but did not answer. + +"Surely," I exclaimed, "you are not offended now about a few light words! +Oh. Cornelius," I added, much concerned, "I see matters will never be +right until you resume your authority, and I am again your obedient +child. If you had always allowed me to consider you as my dear adopted +father."-- + +I stopped short. He had not spoken; he had not moved; he still sat by me, +calm, silent and motionless, with his look fixed on the fire and his hand +in mine; but as I spoke, there passed something in his face, and even in +his eyes, that told me I was probing to the very quick, the wound my +careless hand had first inflicted. + +"Have I done wrong again?" I asked, dismayed. + +"Oh, no!" he replied, negligently; "it is only fair; I was once too +careless, too indifferent--the girl has avenged the child--that is all!" + +"I am sure I have said something you don't like," I observed, anxiously. + +Cornelius took me in his arms and kissed me. + +"My good little girl," he said, "you are the best little girl in this +world; and if you are only a little girl, you cannot help it--so keep +your little heart in peace--and God bless you." + +He spoke kindly, and rose, looking down at me with a sort of fondness and +pity which did not escape, and which half offended me. + +"But I am not a little girl, Cornelius," I replied, in a piqued tone. + +"Aren't you?" he said, taking hold of my chin with a smile and look that +were not free from irony. "I beg your pardon; I thought you were the +little girl that so long made a fool of Cornelius O'Reilly!" + +I gave him a surprised look; he laughed and took his hat; I followed him +to the door and detained him. + +"You are not angry with me!" I observed, uneasily. + +"Angry with you!" he said, "no, my pet. What should I be angry for?" + +"I don't know, Cornelius; but I am glad you are not angry." + +He laughed again, and looked down at me as I stood by him with my hand on +his arm, and my upraised face seeking his look; assured me kindly he was +not at all angry, and left me. From that evening I could not say that +Cornelius was less kind or seemed less fond of me, but I vaguely felt a +change in his manner; something lost and gone I could neither understand +nor recall. At first I was rather uneasy about it, then I attributed it +to his painting, with which he was wholly engrossed. "The Young Girl +Reading," had been finished for some time, and he was hard at work on his +two Italian pictures. Never did he seem to have loved painting better; +never to have given it more of his soul and heart. + +I went up to him one mild spring afternoon; I found him looking at his +three pictures, and so deeply engrossed that he never heard me until I +stood close by him. + +"Confess you were admiring them," I said, looking up at him smiling. + +He smiled too, but not at me. + +"Yes," he replied, quietly, "I see better than any one their merits and +their faults; but such as they are, they have given me moments of the +purest and most intense pleasure man can know." + +He spoke in a low abstracted tone, with a fixed and concentrated gaze. I +looked at him again, and found him thin and pale. + +"You have been working too hard," I said, "you do not look at all well." + +"Don't I?" he replied, carelessly. + +"No. Kate made me notice it yesterday, and said 'the boy is in love, I +think!' I said 'yes, and painting is the lady.' Confess, Cornelius, you +like it better than anything else in this world." + +"Yes. Daisy, I do." + +"Better than me?" + +"Are you a thing?" + +"You call me a nice little thing, sometimes." + +"And so you are," he answered, smiling. "What do you think of that +kneeling woman's attitude?" + +"Beautiful, like all you do, Cornelius." + +"It is beautiful, Daisy; and, alas! that I should say so, the only truly +good thing in the whole picture. Well, no matter; with all my short- +comings I am still--thank God for it!--a painter." + +"And what a triumph awaits you. Oh! Cornelius, how I long to see it!" + +He did not reply. Some imperfection in one of the figures had caught his +eye; he was endeavouring to remove it, and appeared lost and intent in +the task. I withdrew gently, and paused on the threshold of the door to +look at him. He stood before his easel, absorbed in his labour; the light +fell on his handsome profile and defined it clearly; his eyes, bent on +his canvas, looked as if they could behold nothing else; no breath seemed +to issue from his parted lips; he was enjoying in its fulness, the +delight and the charm which God has placed in the labour dear to the +artist's heart. + +In a few days more the pictures were finished and sent to the Academy. +Cornelius felt no fear. His confidence was justified, for he soon +learned, on good authority, that "The Young Girl Reading" and the two +Italian pieces were not rejected. He expressed neither surprise nor +pleasure. Indeed there was altogether about him an air of indifference +and _ennui_ that struck his sister. She went up to him as he stood +leaning against the mantelpiece, and laying her hand on her arm, she +asked a little anxiously-- + +"What's the matter, lad? That girl has not been provoking you again; +she's but a child, you know, and will grow wiser." + +"Of course she will," he replied, smoothing my hair, for I, too, stood by +him; "a year or two will make a great change, Kate." + +His sister smiled a little archly. + +Cornelius asked if I would not take a walk. I accepted, and we had a long +and pleasant stroll in the lanes, that already began to wear the light +and tender verdure of spring. + +I saw by Kate's face when we returned, that something had happened. At +length it came out. Mrs. Brand had called to see me. Mrs. Brand had +learned by the merest chance that I was no longer at Thornton House, and +was greatly grieved that I had not made the fact known to her sooner. Any +resentment against me, for refusing to enter into her scheme, with regard +to Mr. Thornton, did not seem to linger in her mind. She was all cousinly +love and affection, reminded me of the promise I had made to spend some +time at Poplar Lodge, and had parted from Miss O'Reilly with the avowed +intention of coming to fetch me the very next day. + +I looked at Cornelius, who smiled, and leaning on the back of my chair, +said kindly: + +"Why should you not have a little change and pleasure, my pet? You will +not stay there more than a week or two." + +"Yes, Cornelius, but it is the time of the Academy." + +"What matter!" he interrupted; "we know the pictures are all right, and +we have months to look at them together." + +I was very glad he took this view of the subject; for I wished to redeem +my promise to my cousin, whose kindness I could not quite forget; and yet +I would not for anything or any one have vexed Cornelius. Thus, +therefore, it was settled with the approbation of Kate, who added, +however, with a peculiar smile: + +"You let her go, Cornelius; but you'll be dreadful fidgetty until she +comes back." + +"Of course I shall," he replied, smiling rather oddly. + +I knew he loved me dearly. I looked up at him with some pride; he looked +down with an ardent fondness that went to my very heart. Unasked, I +promised not to remain more than a week away. + +In the course of the next day Mrs. Brand called for me. Cornelius had +gone out early, and had not come in. I told Kate to bid him adieu, and +tell him I should not remain beyond the week. She smiled. + +"A week, child!" she said; "be glad if he lets you remain three days +away." + +I laughed, kissed her, and entered the light and elegant open carriage in +which Mrs. Brand had condescendingly come to visit her obscure little +cousin. + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + + +There is a way of leaning back in an open carriage which only those +accustomed to its use can attain--a sort of well-bred indolence--of +riding over the world--of indifference to its concerns, which requires +long and constant practice. Mrs. Brand possessed that art in the highest +degree. Walking in the street, she would have seemed a thin, faded, +insignificant woman; but, reclining in her carriage, with her _ennuy?_ +air, her carelessness, and her impertinence, she was stamped with +aristocracy. + +We had soon reached Poplar Lodge. It stood about a mile from the Grove, +by the lanes, and twice that distance by the high road. I knew the place +well--it was small, but the most beautiful residence in the +neighbourhood. It stood in the centre of lovely pleasure-grounds--a white +and elegant abode, filled with all that could charm the fancy and attract +the eye. Pictures, statues, books, furniture, simple yet costly, were +there, without that profusion which mars the effect of the most beautiful +things. Mrs. Brand perceived my admiration, and led me from room to room +with careless ostentation. At length, we came to a small gallery, filled +with exquisite pictures. + +"There are not many," she said, negligently, "but they are good. All +modern, and almost all English. The blank spaces which you see will, I +dare say, be filled up from this year's Academy." + +My heart beat fast. I thought at once of Cornelius, and I saw his three +pictures already hung up in my cousin's gallery. + +"And so you like Poplar Lodge," observed Mrs. Brand, taking me back to +the drawing-room. "Well, it is a pretty place. And don't you think," she +added, sighing as she glanced around her, "that Edward's wife will be a +happy woman?" + +"I don't know, Ma'am; but I know she will have a lovely house, and +delightful chairs, too," I added, sinking down, as I spoke, into a most +luxurious arm-chair. + +"My dear, she will have what one who speaks from experience can assure +you is far above such worldly comforts--a devoted husband." + +Mrs. Brand's cambric handkerchief was drawn forth, unfolded, and raised +to her eyes in memory of the departed. + +"And Mrs. Langton and this place will suit one another so well," I said, +looking round the luxurious drawing-room. "I can fancy her wandering +about those grounds as lovely as a lady in a fairy tale, or passing from +one beautiful room to another, like a princess in her palace. She will be +the crowning piece of perfection of Mr. Thornton's dwelling." + +Mrs. Brand hastily removed her handkerchief, and assured me: + +"That was over--quite over; a most unfortunate affair. It had once been +her darling wish to see her friend and her brother united; but even she +had felt it was impossible. They had felt it themselves, and had agreed +to forget the past." + +I smiled at the idea of this hollow truce. + +"Besides," pensively continued Mrs. Brand, "I have strong reasons to +believe his affections are engaged elsewhere. I hear him coming in; you +will notice at once how pale and low-spirited Edward looks." + +The entrance of Edward prevented my reply. He started with astonishment +on seeing me, and greeted me with a mixture of embarrassment and tender +courtesy that surprised me a little. He asked after Mr. Thornton's +health. + +"I hope he is well," I replied, smiling; "but I am your neighbour now. Is +it not delightful?" + +I meant delightful to be again with my friends; to my amusement he smiled +and bowed. + +"Miss Burns has been admiring your pictures," said Mrs. Brand. + +Mr. Thornton was happy if anything at Poplar Lodge had afforded me +pleasure. + +"Anything!" I echoed, "why it is everything. From his appearance I could +not have believed the late Mr. Wyndham had such exquisite taste." + +Mrs. Brand laughed, and informed me the place was bare in Mr. Wyndham's +time. Mr. Thornton's modesty, alarmed at the indirect compliment he had +received, induced him to change the subject of discourse by showing me a +handsome collection of drawings. We were engaged in looking over them, +when Mrs. Langton, who was also on a visit to her dear Bertha, entered. + +"Those two are always so fond of drawings!" said Mrs. Brand, rising to +receive her. + +I looked up, and saw the beautiful Edith glancing at us across the table. +She had left by her weeds, and looked wonderfully lovely in a robe of +changing silk. She stood with her hand clasped in that of her friend, and +her beautiful arm partly left bare by her falling sleeve. Her face was +turned towards us; her dark hair, braided back from her fair brow, wound +in a diadem above it; her cheeks were flushed like roses; her blue eyes +were full of light and softness. "Mrs. Brand," I thought, "you may do +what you like, your Edith shall reign here yet." + +She graciously expressed her pleasure at seeing me again; and gently +sinking down on a divan, looked lovely, until we went down to dinner. + +I spent the next day, Saturday, shopping in town with Mrs. Brand, and +thought it rather hard work. Sunday I claimed and obtained to pass at the +Grove. I came upon Cornelius suddenly, as he sat in the back-parlour by +the open window; his elbow on the sill, his brow resting on the palm of +his hand. Before he knew of my presence, my arms were around his neck, +and my lips had touched his cheek. He started, then returned the embrace +with lingering tenderness; and Kate, who came in, laughed at us both, and +said one might think we had been years apart. + +It was foolish to be glad to see him again after so short a separation; I +knew it, but could not help it. He, too, seemed glad; I had never seen +him in better spirits; and seldom had I spent even with him, a pleasanter +day. With regret, I saw approach the hour that should take me back to +Poplar Lodge. Cornelius said he would accompany me by the lanes. They +looked very lovely on that mild spring evening, and we talked pleasantly +and happily as we walked along. At length we reached the end of a long +lane that brought us to a grated iron door--the back entrance of Poplar +Lodge. + +We stopped short; the place and the moment stand before me like a picture +still. + +The lane was lonely, and hushed rather than silent. The heavy clouds of +night were gathering slowly in the lower sky. In its serener heights, the +full moon had risen, and now looked down at us between two of the large +poplar trees that had given its name to my cousin's abode. I stood by +Cornelius, one arm passed in his, his other hand clasping mine. + +"When will you come back?" he asked, bending over me. + +"Next Saturday, I hope." + +"Not before?" + +"No, Cornelius, I could not, you know." + +"Can't you try?" + +"Indeed, Cornelius. I am afraid I cannot. You know I long to be back with +you and Kate." + +"Very well, then; Saturday let it be. And yet, Daisy, why not Friday?" + +"Cornelius, I assure you I think it would be taken amiss if I were to +leave on Friday." + +He submitted, gave me a quiet kiss, and rang the bell. A white figure +emerged from a neighbouring avenue, and Mrs. Langton, recognising me +through the iron grating, took down the key that always hung by the door, +and admitted me, smiling. I introduced Cornelius somewhat awkwardly. He +stood with the light of the moon full on his face and figure. I caught +Mrs. Langton giving him two or three rapid and curious looks, but she +only made a few civil and commonplace remarks. He answered in the same +strain, bowed, and left us. + +"And so, Miss Burns," softly observed Mrs. Langton, as she closed and +locked the gate, "that is your adopted father--as Mr. Edward Thornton +calls him, I believe." + +"Yes," I said, quietly, "Cornelius is, indeed, my adopted father; but he +does not like me to consider him so." + +"Indeed!" + +"Oh, no: he does me the honour to hold me as his friend." + +Mrs. Langton suppressed a rosy smile, and talked of the beauty of the +evening as we walked through the grounds to the Lodge. + +Mr. Thornton was out, and Mrs. Brand whispered confidentially that my +absence might be the cause. He came in, however, sufficiently early, and +as I sat apart rather silent, his sister felt sure I suffered from low +spirits, and gave him the duty of enlivening me. He smiled, bowed, and +settling himself in a comfortable arm-chair by me, entered on the task. +But I remained obstinately grave, until, from topic to topic, he came to +the Academy. + +My cousin gave me the tidings that it was to open in two days. He hoped I +would accompany Mrs. Brand. He knew my judgment was excellent, and felt +anxious to have my opinion of several pictures he had already secured, +and of others he intended purchasing. + +"Oh, I shall be so glad!" I exclaimed, with an eagerness that made him +smile. + +I reddened at the thought that my motive had been detected, and tried to +repair my blunder; but do what I would, I could not help betraying my +pleasure. I laughed, I talked, I was not the same. + +"Have I really succeeded so well?" whispered my cousin. + +The spirit of mischief is not easily repressed at seventeen. I looked up +at him, and answered saucily-- + +"Better than you think." + +Mr. Thornton laughed, and declared I was the most delightfully original +and _naive_ girl he had ever met with. + +It rained the whole of the following day, which we spent at Poplar Lodge, +to the great disgust of the slave of the world. But the next morning rose +lovely and serene. At an early hour we were at the doors of the Royal +Academy. I knew that the pictures of Cornelius were accepted; on that +head I therefore felt no uneasiness, yet my heart beat as we ascended the +steps of the National Gallery. A glance at the catalogue dispelled all +lingering fear. As my cousin placed it in my hands, he accompanied it +with a pencil case, and a whispered entreaty to mark the pictures I +approved. I looked up at him, smiling to think he had chosen a judge so +partial. We had no sooner entered the first room than Mrs. Brand was +overpowered with the heat. When she recovered, she thought she should go +and look at the miniatures with her dear Edith. She knew we did not like +the miniatures, and requested that we should go our own way. She and her +dear Edith would go their own way. We resisted this a little, but Mrs. +Brand was peremptory, and at length we yielded and parted from them. +Absorbed in the engrossing thought "Are they well hung?" I performed my +critical office very inaccurately; but having been so fortunate as to +single out two of the pictures Mr. Thornton had purchased, I escaped +detection, and received several warm compliments on my good taste. He was +informing me how much he relied upon it, when we suddenly came to the two +Italian pieces of Cornelius. + +"What do you think of these?" I said carelessly. + +"Poor, very poor," he replied, and passed on. + +I heard him mortified and mute; all my hopes dispelled at once by all +this sweeping censure. The pictures of Cornelius poor! Those two +beautiful Italian things, which would have filled so well the blank +spaces in the gallery! I was astonished and indignant at Mr. Thornton's +bad taste. He might mark his own pictures now, I would have nothing more +to do with him; he was evidently conceited, impertinent, insolent, and he +had neither heart nor soul, for he could not appreciate the beautiful. + +Unconscious of my feelings, my cousin went on criticising. + +"What are they all looking at?" he said, drawing near to where a crowd +had gathered around one of the lower paintings. + +"At some stupid picture or other," I replied, impatiently. "It is always +the stupid pictures that the people look at." + +He smiled at the petulant speech, and, spite of my evident indifference +made way for me through the crowd of gazers; but I turned away, I would +not look. With an ill-repressed smile of contempt, I listened to the +"exquisite," "beautiful," "a wonderful thing," which I heard around me. + +"Yes," I thought, scornfully, "much you know about it, I dare say." + +"I really think we must mark this one," whispered my cousin. "What do you +say?" + +I looked up ungraciously, but the book and pencil-case nearly dropped +from my hands as I recognized "The Young Girl Reading." + +"Don't you like it?" asked Mr. Thornton, smiling. + +Oh! yes, I liked it! and him whose genius had created it, and whose +master-hand had fashioned it; ay! and for his sake I liked even those who +gazed on it, in a fast increasing crowd; and as if I had never seen it +before, I looked with delighted eyes at the work of Cornelius. There was +something in the admiration it excited I could not mistake. It was +genuine and true. He was at length, after seven years of toil, known and +famous. Sudden repute must have something of a breathless joy, but it +cannot possess the sweetness of a slow-earned and long-coming fame. I +felt as if I could have looked for ever; but the crowd was pressing +eagerly behind us: my cousin led me away. + +"I see you will not mark it," he gaily said, taking the catalogue from +me. + +"Do you really like it?" I asked, stammering. + +"Do I like it? Why it is a wonderful picture! the most perfect union I +have ever seen of the real and ideal. It is not sold, is it?" + +I replied I thought not. He said he hoped not; that he should be quite +concerned to miss it; and he proceeded to pay the genius of Cornelius +very high and handsome compliments. I heard him with beating heart and +swimming eyes; I felt too happy; it was not more than I had expected ever +since the return of Cornelius from Italy; but for being anticipated, his +triumph was not to me less glorious and delightful. I could think of +nothing else; my eyes saw, but my mind could receive no impressions. +Whatever picture I looked at became "The Young Girl Reading" with the +crowd around her. + +Mr. Thornton thought the heat affected me, and proposed joining his +sister. We soon found her with Mrs. Langton. They looked dull and tired. +As we entered the carriage, Mrs. Brand asked, with her air of _ennui_, +how I liked the pictures, and if I had been amused. + +"More than amused," I replied, warmly. + +Mr. Thornton half smiled, and looked into the street; Mrs. Brand shut her +eyes, and reclined back with an air of satisfaction, and Mrs. Langton +flushed up like a rose. I looked at the three, and thought them odd +people. + +On the following evening, the slave of the world was to receive and +entertain her master; in other words, to give a party. I had virtuously +resolved not to be amused, and not to enjoy the pleasure I could not +share with Cornelius; but when the time came, I forgot all about it. It +was my first party, and what a party! The rooms were always beautiful, +and when lit up, looked splendid. Then this constant rolling of coming +and departing carriages; this pouring in of fashionable, well-dressed +people; their flow of easy speech, greetings and smiles, gave the whole +something so luxurious and seducing, that I felt enchanted. + +Mrs. Langton, who looked exquisitely lovely in white silk--I wore my blue +dress--kindly took me under her patronage. She was a world-known beauty, +and whenever she went out, drew crowds around her. We were soon +surrounded with adorers. All could not reach the divinity, and a few +condescended to offer up incense at my humbler shrine. Two young +Englishmen, rosy and bashful; a Dane as pale as Hamlet, and a Spaniard, +fell to my stare. We also had an occasional dropping of grave gentlemen +in spectacles, or dashing, military-looking men, whiskered and +mustachioed, with an apparition of fair ladies, duly attended, who smiled +and nodded at Mrs. Langton as they passed smelling bouquets or fanning +themselves, but who took care not to linger in such dangerous vicinity. + +I felt amused and entertained; but my real pleasure began with the +daucing. I was fond of it, and I had plenty of pleasant partners. As I +once came back to my seat, flushed as much with enjoyment as with the +exercise, Mrs. Langton, who would not discompose her beauty by dancing, +stooped over me, and gently whispered:-- + +"You little flirt, one would think you had received world incense all +your life. Look opposite," she added, in a still lower tone. I followed +the direction of her gaze, and saw in the embrasure of a door, standing +and looking at me, with sorrowful attention, Cornelius. + +"He has been there these two hours," said Mrs. Langton, smiling, "and you +never even saw him, which I hold very unkind to me; for, thinking you +would like to meet your friend, I asked a card from Bertha, and did not +mention the name to her, lest you should not enjoy the surprise. And here +am I actually obliged to tell you all about it." + +I know not what I said to her, I felt so disturbed. I knew that I had +surrendered myself rather freely to the pleasures of the evening, and he +had seen it all, I had never even perceived him. I looked at him across +the crowd that divided us. He caught my eye, and turned away abruptly. I +rose, and gliding swiftly through the guests, I tried to join him; but he +eluded me. I went from room to room, without being able to reach him. At +length, I lost sight of him altogether, and gave up my useless search. I +had reached the last room, a pretty little French sort of boudoir, +adorned with exquisite Dresden ornaments, and thence called "Dresden" by +Mrs. Brand. It was now quite solitary. I sat down, sad and dispirited, on +a low couch, and was immediately joined by Mr. Thornton, who had been +following me all the time, and gently rallied me on the chase I had led +him. He sat down by me, and informed me that he had been wanting to speak +to me the whole evening; but I had been so surrounded, that he had found +it quite impossible to get at me. I coloured violently: if he had noticed +it, what would Cornelius think? + +"I wanted to tell you," confidentially observed Edward Thornton, drawing +closer to me, "that I have secured 'The Young Girl Reading.' She is +mine," he added, with rather a long look of his fine blue eyes. + +"You have bought it," I exclaimed joyfully. + +"And paid for it," he answered smiling. + +"How delightful!" I said, "I mean that you have bought it," I added, +fearing I had exposed the poverty of Cornelius by the hasty remark. + +He smiled again, and passed his slender fingers in his brown hair. + +"Where will you hang it?" I asked eagerly. + +"In the long vacant place of honour, between my Wilkie and my Mulready." + +For these two great artists, Cornelius felt a warm and enthusiastic +admiration. I thought of his pride and triumph when I should tell him +this, and I glowed with a pleasure I cared not to conceal. + +"Mr. Thornton!" I exclaimed, turning on him flushed and joyous, "you have +made me as happy as any crowned queen." + +"Why have I not a crown to lay it at your feet?" he very gallantly +replied, taking my hand, and pressing it gently as he spoke. + +At that moment, through the door which Edward Thornton had left partly +open, I thought I caught sight of Cornelius for an instant; the next he +had disappeared in the crowd. I snatched my hand from my cousin, started +up, ran to the door, opened it wide, and looked eagerly; but Cornelius +had again vanished. I returned much disappointed to Mr. Thornton, who +seemed amazed at my precipitate flight. + +"I had seen Mr. O'Reilly," I said, apologetically. + +"Mr. O'Reilly! Ah, indeed." + +"Yes; and I wanted to speak to him. It was for that I came here, you +know." + +My cousin gave me a puzzled look, then suddenly recovering, said hastily: + +"Of course, it was. Mr. O'Reilly, as you say." + +"I am sure, you think it odd," I observed uneasily. + +He denied it with a guarded look. I thought it worse than odd, and my +eyes filled with involuntary tears. Mr. Thornton rose and sympathised +respectfully. + +"My dear Miss Burns," he whispered drawing nearer to me, "I am truly +grieved; but your kindness, your frank condescension, made me presume-- +indeed, I am grieved." + +I heard him with surprise. "Decidedly," I thought, "we are all wrong," +and aloud I observed gravely: + +"Mr. Thornton, is there not some mistake? I am talking of Mr. O'Reilly." + +"And so am I," he answered promptly. + +"And I should like to see if I could not find him." + +He offered me his arm with a polite start, and an air of tenderness and +homage that perplexed me; but though we went all over the rooms, +Cornelius was not to be found. As the guests began to thin and depart I +lost all hope, and releasing my cousin from duty, sat down in one of the +nearly deserted rooms. Mrs. Langton at once came up to me, and asked if I +had seen my friend. I replied that I had caught sight of him from the +little Dresden room, when I was there with Mr. Thornton. + +"In the Dresden room," she said, looking astonished; "and do you really, +a fair maiden of eighteen, venture to remain alone in a Dresden room? +alone with so gay and gallant a gentleman as Edward Thornton? Don't you +know, dear?" she added, edging her chair to mine, and lowering her voice; +"he is quite a naughty man! Did you never hear of him and Madame +Polidori, the singer--no?--nor of Mademoiselle Rosalie, nor of Madame?--" + +I stopped the list by gravely hoping she was mistaken. She assured me she +was not, and wanted to resume the subject, but it was one in which I took +neither pleasure nor interest; and I listened so coldly, that she +reddened, bit her lip, and left me. + +The guests were all gone. As she bade the last adieu, Mrs. Brand sank +down in a chair by the open window, and sighed to her brother: + +"Ah! Edward, as our own English Wordsworth so finely says: + + 'The world is too much with us--'" + +The rest of the sonnet was lost, I suppose, in the whisper that followed. +Mr. Thornton seemed to pay it but faint attention; his look was fixed +with intent admiration on Mrs. Langton, who stood by a table turning over +the leaves of an album with careless grace. + +"What a night!" resumed Mrs. Brand; "with that moon and that starry sky, +one might forget the world, the vain world for ever, Edward." + +Edward still looked at the beautiful Edith, and seemed inclined to make a +move in her direction, out of the reach of the moon and the starry sky. +But his sister looked at me, and whispered something. He bowed his head +in assent, and came up to me. He seemed for some mysterious reason to +think it incumbent on himself to be very kind and sympathetic, and to +speak to me in a tender and soothing tone. Wrapped up in thinking of +Cornelius, I paid his words but faint attention; but as my cousin stood +with his hand on the back of my chair, I saw Mrs. Langton look at us over +her shoulder in silent scorn. I looked at her, too, and as she stood +there in all her wonderful beauty, I marvelled jealousy could make her so +blind, as to lead her to fear for a moment a plain, humble girl like me. + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + + +Although I had not thought it necessary to mention to Mrs. Brand how soon +I meant to return to the Grove, she took complete possession of me for +the whole of the next day; but, the following morning, I prevented the +possibility of her doing so again, by starting out of Poplar Lodge before +she had opened her aristocratic eyes. I wanted to see Cornelius, and make +him explain his strange conduct. + +I went by the lane where we had parted. It was a very beautiful lane-- +green, secluded, and overshadowed by dark trees. It looked fresh and +pleasant on this May morning. The dew glittered on grass, tree and wild +flower; the thrush carolled gaily on the young boughs, and the robin red- +breast looked at me fearlessly with his bright black eye, as he stood +perched on the budding hawthorn hedge. A grievous disappointment waited +me at the end of my journey. The blinds were down--the house was closed +and silent. I rang, and received no reply. I went to the front, with the +same result. For an hour and more I wandered about the lanes; but every +time I came back, I found the house in the same state. At length, I +returned to Poplar Lodge, where my absence had not been perceived. + +Mrs. Brand's party had given her a headache. She lay on the drawing-room +sofa the whole day long, and would evidently consider it very barbarous +to be forsaken. I remained sitting by her until dusk, which brought Mrs. +Langton, and relieved me from my duty. I went out on the verandah for a +little fresh air. I had not been there long, when a rustling robe passed +through the open window. It was the beautiful Edith. + +"Are you not afraid of taking cold?" she asked aloud; then whispered, +"Say no." + +As "no" chanced to be the truth, I complied with Mrs. Langton's wish. + +"Oh! that exquisite old thorn!" she sighed; then added, in a low rapid +key: "I have been so angry. I heard such strange things about you and Mr. +Thornton. All the Dresden room." + +I laughed. + +"What are you two chatting about?" asked the voice of Mrs. Brand from +within. + +"I am only telling Miss Burns to mind Captain Craik," coolly replied Mrs. +Langton, "he was quite attentive the other night." + +"Really, Mrs. Langton," I observed impatiently, "you forget the gentleman +you allude to could be my father, and is, after all, a middle-aged man." + +"A middle-aged man!" echoed Mrs. Langton, looking confounded. "You are +hard to please, Miss Burns; a most elegant and accomplished gentleman--a +middle-aged man!" + +"If he were an angel, he is not the less near forty." + +"Still talking of Captain Craik," rather uneasily observed Mrs. Brand, +joining us, "Edith, dear, are you not afraid of the tooth-ache?" + +"No, Bertha, dear." + +"But I am for you. You must come in." + +Mrs. Brand slipped her arm within that of her friend, and made her re- +enter the drawing-room. But something or some one called her away, for in +a few minutes, Mrs. Langton was again by me. She came on me suddenly, +before I could efface the trace of recent tears. The evening was light +and clear. She looked at me and said: + +"I could have spared you this, Miss Burns. Mr. Thornton--" + +"Indeed, Ma'am," I interrupted, "I am not thinking of Mr. Thornton; but I +fear Mr. O'Reilly is vexed with me: that is the truth." + +I thought this would rid me of her tiresome jealousy, but it did not. + +"Poor child!" she said compassionately, "I see you know nothing. Perhaps +it is scarcely right to betray Bertha to you; but can I help also feeling +for you? Do you know the play of Shakespeare entitled 'Much Ado about +Nothing'?" + +"Yes, Ma'am, I know it." + +"Do you remember the ingenious manner in which two of the characters are +made to fall in love with one another? Benedick thinks Beatrice is dying +for him, and Beatrice thinks the same thing of him." + +"That was vanity, Ma'am, not love." + +"Ay, but vanity is a potent passion, and 'Much Ado about Nothing' is a +play still daily enacted on the scene of the world." + +I heard her with some impatience; I thought her discourse resembled the +play of which it treated. She saw plain speech alone would make me +comprehend her meaning. + +"Our dear Bertha," she sighed, "has quite a passion for match-making. For +instance, she will teaze me about Captain Craik, and says he is mad about +me. I don't mind it, provided she does not say the same thing to him." + +"Oh!" I replied, quite startled, "that would be too bad." + +"So it would; but I fear it. Captain Craik has been very peculiar of +late." + +I felt uncomfortable. It was not to end with Captain Craik we had +travelled over the slow ground of this ambiguous discourse. + +"Now do you know." resumed Mrs. Langton, "I cannot help fancying that +Bertha has been indulging in the same little pastime with you and her +brother." + +"Not with me," I said, eagerly; "she never even hinted it." + +"You are slow at taking hints," replied Mrs. Langton with a sceptical +smile. + +"But why should she think of me?" I asked, incredulously; "I am not a +beauty," I added, looking at her, "I have no wealth--no position. Why +should she wish to marry me to her brother?" + +"To make a good sister-in-law," answered Mrs. Langton, quietly. + +I felt there was something in that, and remained mute with consternation. + +"And do you think," she resumed, laughing softly, "he has been quite so +slow to take the hint? Why, child, you have scarcely said a word that he +has not modestly converted into a proof of your passion for him. Remember +how sympathising he was on the evening of the party; he thought: 'Poor +little thing! I must be kind. It is plain she is fretting herself away +for my sake.'" + +She spoke with evident conviction. I remembered words and looks, and I +grew hot and faint. + +"Oh, Mrs. Langton!" I exclaimed desperately, "what shall I do? how can I +undeceive him?" + +"Leave the house at once," she promptly replied. + +"Will it not be better to stay for another day or so, just to be cool +with him?" + +"He will think it shyness." + +"And despair if I run away. No, I must stay to undeceive him." + +"And to give him time to inform you in his civil, gentlemanly way, how +deeply he feels for you." + +"Then I can show him I don't want his sympathy." + +"He will think it pride or pique. Take my advice, Miss Burns. You are in +a false position. Retreat." + +She laid her hand on my arm and spoke impressively. But youth is rash; I +scorned the idea of flight. Besides I had no faith in her advice. With +the frank indignation of my years, I felt how meanly my candour and +inexperience had been imposed upon. "So, Mrs. Brand," I thought +resentfully, "you had me here, because you thought I might make a +manageable sister-in-law! Much obliged to you, Mrs. Brand; you will have +your dear Edith, yet. But to go and tell or imply to her brother that I +was in love with him, with a man who might be my father! + +"Besides, even if it had been true, how barbarous to betray me! And you, +too, Mrs. Langton," I thought, looking at her, "you too have not thought +it beneath your pride to deceive me: talking ill to me of the very man +you love--as much as you can love--accusing him of profligacy! Then, so +piqued because I said he was middle-aged!--and so kindly anxious to make +me look foolish by running away! Go! no indeed! It is very odd if I +cannot finesse a little in my turn, and, without committing myself, get +out of this spider's web into which, like a foolish fly, I have got +entangled; and it is very odd, too, if I cannot change the web a little, +before I spread out my wings and take my flight back to the home foolish +flies should never leave." + +I was thoroughly piqued, and walked restlessly from one end of the +verandah to the other. I set my wits to work; thought rapidly followed +thought; schemes were made and rejected with every second; at length, +both mentally and bodily, I stopped short. "I have it," I thought, +triumphantly; "I am not so dull but that I have noticed certain passages +between a fair lady and a certain gentleman; I have always thought they +would end by marrying; I am certain of it now. I shall act on that +belief; say something; no matter what; he likes my _naivete_--to prove to +my dear cousin that I consider Edith as good as Mrs. Edward Thornton. Let +him like it or not, I shall take his vexation as excellent sport, glide +out of it with a laugh, then beg pardon, apologize, and show him he may +marry the Queen of Sheba, for all it matters to Daisy Burns." + +I felt confident of success; and, elated with my scheme, I turned to Mrs. +Langton, and said, gaily:-- + +"I have such a good idea!--only I cannot tell you. But you shall see how +it will work." + +She bit her lip, and gave me a mistrustful look. + +"I have warned you," she said; "I warn you again; do not think yourself +equal to Bertha. If she chooses to convince her brother that you are in +love with him, I consider it out of the question that you can prevent +her." + +"I shall see that," I replied, indignantly. + +"Yes," said Mrs. Langton, "you will have that satisfaction." + +"Then what should I gain by running away?" I asked, a little tartly. "The +best thing I can do is to stay, look on, and learn how these matters are +managed." + +Mrs. Langton gave me another mistrustful look, and withdrew. I saw she +did not believe in my sincerity; perhaps she did not think it possible to +resist Edward Thornton, and repented having been so frank. Her thoughts +did not trouble me. The more I reflected on my scheme, the better I liked +it. I enjoyed, in advance, the manner in which my cousin would open his +fine blue eyes. I was not vexed with him; but I remembered the Dresden +room, and was determined he should be as fairly undeceived as ever he had +been deluded. Absorbed in these thoughts, I remained on the verandah, +looking at the beautiful garden and grounds beneath. A visitor came, was +received by Mrs. Langton, stayed awhile, left, and still I did not re- +enter the drawing-room, where Mrs. Brand and her friend now sat, working +and talking by lamp-light. At length, scarce knowing why, I began to pay +a vague attention to their discourse. + +"I think we are going to have a storm," said the soft voice of Mrs. +Langton; "it will clear the air, perhaps. Doctor Morton says the weather +has been so unhealthy; typhus so prevalent amongst the poor. He mentioned +the case of a labourer who has just died, leaving a widow and nine +children." + +"Very sad, indeed," composedly replied Mrs. Brand; "but then you know, my +dear, typhus is generally confined to the poor--which is a sort of +comfort." + +"It is not always the case," said Edith; "there have been several deaths +amongst tradespeople." + +"Ah! poor things, they have to deal with the poor, you see; but what I +mean is, that it seldom goes higher up; which is a great comfort, you +know; for what good would it do the poor that those above them should +die?" + +"None, of course. The doctor also mentioned another case--very sad too-- +such a fine young man, he had been told, an artist, I think; but he did +not know his name, who is lying ill--all but given up." + +"Really," said Mrs. Brand, "this gets quite alarming. Do you know +whereabouts that unfortunate young man lives?" + +Until then, I had listened to them as we listen to speech in which we +take no interest. I was young, full of health; the evening air felt +pleasant and fresh about me; and standing on that cool verandah above a +fragrant garden, I recked not of the fevered dwellings where the poor +perish, and of the sick chamber where even the rich man may be reached by +death; but when Mrs. Langton spoke of the young artist who lay given up, +I felt touched. When Mrs. Brand asked to know where he dwelt, I just +turned my head a little to catch the reply of the beautiful Edith. She +gave it carelessly. + +"In a place called the Grove, I believe; is it far off?" + +"Two miles away at least," complacently replied Mrs. Brand. + +I know not how I entered the room; but I know that the two ladies +screamed faintly, as they saw me stepping in, through the open window. + +"Miss Burns, is the house on fire?" exclaimed Mrs. Brand. + +"'T is he!" I said, with that dead calmness which many find in their woe. +"I know it is. We live in the Grove, and there is not another artist in +it." + +"I am not sure he is an artist," said Edith, rising. "I now think it was +an architect." + +"There is no architect in the Grove," I replied; "not one." + +"My dear," observed Mrs. Brand, soothingly taking my hand, "it is all a +mistake, depend upon it." + +I looked at her, and shook my head. + +"The house was close and silent; the blinds were drawn down. I know why +now--lest the contagion should reach me." + +Mrs. Brand dropped my hand rather hastily. + +"I shall send and inquire at once," she observed. "Pacify yourself, my +dear." + +She stretched out her hand to ring the bell. + +"You need not," I said, "I am going." + +"Oh! but you must not!" cried Mrs. Brand, "think of the danger." + +I laughed drearily in her face. + +"Of the contagion, my dear?" + +"Do not fear, I shall come back, Ma'am," I replied, turning to the door. +She followed me. + +"My dear, you must have the carriage." + +"I shall go by the lanes," I said impatiently. The carriage was, I knew, +the delay of at least an hour. + +"By the lanes, at this hour? I cannot allow it, Miss Burns." + +I turned round upon her. + +"But I will go," I said, and even in that moment, I wondered the woman +could be so blind as to think her will had the power to detain me. + +Without heeding her astounded look, I ran up to my room, took down my +cloth cloak, drew it around me, and drawing the hood over my head, I +hastened down stairs to the garden. As I passed underneath the verandah, +the voice of Mrs. Langton seemed to call me back, but the wind drowned +her words, and I ran fast along the avenue. I had soon reached the iron +gate; I took down the key, opened the door, and entered the lane. As 1 +turned my back on Poplar Lodge, I caught a last glimpse of it rising +against a dark sky, with a faint speck of light glimmering from the +drawing-room window. + +No other light shone on my path; the sun had set bright and glorious, the +evening had set in clear and serene; but a sudden eclipse had come; one +vast gloom shrouded sky and earth; I never saw summer night like this for +intense, for dreary darkness. I knew the way well; I walked straight on, +swiftly and without pause, meeting no obstacles, fearing none, like one +who passes through vacant space. + +Once I thought I heard a voice calling on me faintly in the distance +behind; but I heeded it not, I did not answer, I did not look round; I +went on as in a dream. Raised beyond the body by the passion of my grief, +I felt not the ground beneath my feet; all I felt was that the wind as it +swept by me with a low rushing sound, seemed to bear me on through that +sombre and melancholy night, as a spirit to its viewless home. At length, +the air became of a dead stillness; it was as if I had suddenly entered a +silent and sultry region in which there was no breathing and no life. I +stopped short; I looked round to see that I had not mistaken the way; a +streak of fiery lightning passed through the darkness of the sky; for a +moment I caught sight of an open space, in which I stood, and saw before +me two long lanes diverging from a half ruined gateway, and vanishing +into depths of gloom whence seemed to come forth the peal of far thunder +that died away in low faint echoes. + +I knew the spot well; I had not missed the right path; I was half way on +my journey. + +But as if this first flash had only been a signal, the brooding storm now +broke forth. Before it fled at once the silence and the gloom of the +hour. A low, wild murmur ran along the ground, then rose and lost itself +in the wide and desolate hollow of the night; trees tossed about their +dark boughs, and groaned lamentably like vexed spirits. As the sound of a +loosened flood came the rushing rain, the wind rose ever deepening in its +roar; and above all rolled the full thunder, louder than the deafening +voice of battle, whilst, cleft with many a swift and silent flash, the +dark sky opened like a sea of living fire, below which stretched a long, +low moving shore of livid clouds. + +I stood still and looked; not with fear--to love and fear for what we +love, is to be raised beyond all dread--but I felt dazzled with the +ceaseless lightning, and dizzy with the tumult of the tempest; the heavy +rain beat full in my face and blinded me; the strong gale rose against me +in all its might. I could not move on; I could not turn back, seek +shelter, or proceed; for a moment I yielded to the burst of the storm, +and let the elements wreak their fury on my bowed head. But a thought +stronger than even their power, more fearful than their wildest wrath, +was on me. I drew down my hood, wrapped my cloak closer around me, and +again went on drenched with the pouring rain, and often arrested, but +never driven back by the impetuous blast. + +The storm was violent and brief. Soon the wind fell; the rain grew less +heavy; the lightning less frequent and vivid; the thunder slowly +retreated; the sky cleared, and melted into soft clouds, behind which, +for the first time, shone the watery moon. She looked down on me with a +wan and troubled face, boding sorrow; her dim light filled the path I now +followed; on either side, like gloomy giants, rose the dark trees; the +rain had ceased, but as I passed swiftly beneath the dripping boughs, +they seemed shaken by an invisible hand to dash their chill dew-drops in +my face. The smell of the wet earth rose strong on the humid air; in the +ditch by me, I heard water flowing with a low, gurgling sound, and every +now and then I came across a shallow pool lit with a pale and trembling +moonbeam. + +The storm had not terrified me, but now my courage sank. This chill calm +after the fury of the tempest; this sound of water faintly flowing, +following on tumult so loud, seemed to me to speak of sorrow, death and +utter desolation. The nearer I drew to the end of my journey, the more my +heart failed me. As I turned down into the lane that led home, the +church-clock struck twelve; every stroke sounded like a funeral knell on +my ear; then a dog began to howl plaintively. I turned cold and sick--as +a child, I had heard that this was a token of death. Oh! with what slow +and weary steps, I drew near that door towards which I had hastened +through all the anger of the storm, and which my heart now dreaded to +reach. As I stood by it, my limbs trembled, my very flesh quivered, my +blood seemed to have ceased to flow, my heart to beat, cold dew-drops +gathered and stood on my brow, and something, an inward struggle, an +agony without a name rose to my lips, and made one gasp for breath, but +could not pass them. Twice I stretched out my hand to ring, and twice it +fell powerless. I sank down on my knees; I uttered a passionate prayer: I +asked--what will not the heart ask for?--for an impossible boon. "Even if +he is to die. Oh God, do not let him die; even though he shall be dead, +do not let him be dead!" + +I rose and rang. "Now," I thought, "I shall know it all at once in the +face of Kate or Jane, whichever it may be that opens to me." I nerved +myself to meet that look, as I heard a door opening within, then a step +on the wet gravel, and caught a glimmer of light through the chinks of +the door. I heard it unbarred and unbolted, then it opened partly; and +standing on the threshold with the light of the upraised lamp in his +face, I saw Cornelius. + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + + +I think I could endure years of trouble and toil for the joy of that +moment. My heart overflowed; I looked at Cornelius, then threw my arms +around his neck, and burst into tears. My hood fell back, and with it my +loosened hair. + +"Daisy!" he cried, for he had not recognized me till then. "Good God!" he +added with sudden terror, "has anything happened to you?" + +"Nothing, Cornelius; but I am too happy--too happy--that is all." + +He drew back a little; looked at my drenched garments and bare head, as +he closed the door, and led me in. + +"Daisy," he asked, anxiously, "what has brought you here at such an hour, +in such a plight?" + +"I thought you were ill, dying, Cornelius! I felt beside myself, and ran +home to you like a wild thing." + +We stood beneath the porch. Cornelius still held the lamp; its light fell +on his pale, troubled face. With the arm that was free he drew me towards +him, and looked down at me with mingled grief and tenderness. + +"Oh, Daisy!" he exclaimed, "whilst I sat within, sheltered and +unconscious, have you, indeed, been exposed to the fury of this pitiless +storm--and for my sake?" + +I shook back the hair from my face, and looking up into his, smiled. + +"Cornelius," I said, "if weary miles had divided us; if rivers had flowed +across the path; if I should have walked bare-footed over sharp stones, I +would have come to you to-night. I could not have kept away; I feel that +my very heart would have flown to you, as a bird to its nest." + +"For Heaven's sake, go up to your room at once," he observed, uneasily. +"Here is the light." + +I took it, and gaily ran up-stairs. I felt light with gladness--a new +life flowed in my veins, a new vigour beat with my heart. I blessed God +with every faculty of my being: as sincerely as if the miracle I had +asked for, had been accomplished. I had soon changed my things, and went +down very softly, not to waken Kate. The door of the back-parlour was +ajar, and there I found Cornelius, standing by a newly-kindled fire. As I +gently closed the door, I said, smiling: + +"I have made no noise. Kate never woke--how is she?" + +"She complains of a head-ache. The heat of the day, I suppose." + +"Yes," I replied, sitting down, taking his hand, and making him sit down +by me on a little couch which he had drawn before the fire. "Yes, every +one was out this morning, when I called and found the house shut up. Oh, +Cornelius! how I thought of that with terror and dismay, as I came along +the lanes." + +"The lanes!--you came by the lanes?" cried Cornelius, turning pale: +"alone along that desolate road, where a cry for aid never could be +heard! Daisy, how dare you do such a thing? How could they allow it?" + +"Cornelius, who would be out on such a night to harm me? As to daring, I +would have dared anything. Mrs. Brand remonstrated, and sent, I believe, +a servant after me; but I outstripped him easily. Terror lent me her +wings." + +"I thought you felt no fear?" + +"No fear of man, but a most sickening cowardly dread of fever. Oh, +Cornelius! if I had found you ill, or in danger of death, what should I +have done, what would have become of me?" + +The mere thought was a torment that again sent the freezing blood to my +heart. I shivered, and drew close to him. + +"There! you are quite pale again," said Cornelius, anxiously. "Oh, Daisy! +do you then love me so much--so very much?" + +I looked up, and smiled at the question. But his face was burning, and +expressed mingled pleasure, doubt, and pain. + +"Oh!" he continued, taking my hands in his, and speaking hesitatingly, +"what am I to think of the girl who forgets her friend?" + +"I knew you were vexed and angry about the party," I interrupted. "I saw +you." + +"And then, on the first false alarm, who returns to him so kindly, on a +stormy night, by a dreary way, fearless though alone." + +"Now, Cornelius, what have I done that a good sister, or friend, or +daughter, would not do?" + +Cornelius dropped my hands, and said, abruptly: "Do you not feel chill?" + +"Not with that fire. Do you know, Cornelius, now I am here again with you +and Kate, I don't see why I should go back to Poplar Lodge. Suppose you +ask me to stay. Well, what are you doing?" + +He had stood up, and was pouring out a glass of wine, which he handed to +me. + +"Take it," he said. + +"To please you, Cornelius: but I do not want it. The sight of your face +at the door was more reviving than wine to me." + +I just tasted the wine, and handed him the glass. He drank off its +contents. His hand, in touching mine, had felt feverish, and he looked +rather pale. + +"You are unwell," I said, uneasily. + +"Unwell!" he echoed, gaily. "I never felt better." + +He poured himself out another glass of wine, but I took it from him. + +"You must not!" I exclaimed, imperatively. "Oh, Cornelius! be careful," I +added, imploringly. + +He laughed at my uneasiness; but there was something dreary in the sound +of his laughter, which I did not like. + +"I tell you I am well--quite well," he persisted; "but I feel uneasy +about you, Daisy. How this night will fatigue you! I dare not tell you to +go to your room, lest it should be too chill; but will you try and sleep +here?" + +"On condition that, when I am asleep, you will go up, and take some rest +yourself." + +He promised to do so; and, to please him, I laid my head on the pillow of +the couch. He removed the lamp from my eyes, but in vain I closed them, +and tried to sleep. Every now and then I kept opening them again, and +talking in that excited way, which is the result of over-wrought emotion. + +"Cornelius," I said, "I am now quite resolved to stay with you. I should +feel too miserable to be even a day away. Always thinking about typhus, +you know." + +"Sleep, child," was his only reply. + +I tried; but awhile afterwards I was again talking. + +"And the Academy!" I said, "and 'The Young Girl Reading'! Are the other +pictures sold?" + +I half-rose on one elbow to look at Cornelius, who sat a little behind +me. Without answering, he made me lie down again, and laid his hand on my +eyes and brow. He possessed, perhaps, something of mesmeric power, for +unconsciously I fell asleep; but mine was not a deep or perfect slumber. +I was aware of a change that I could not understand or define. I felt, +however, some one bending over me, and a long and lingering kiss was +pressed on my brow. + +"It is Cornelius going up-stairs," I thought even in my sleep, but +without awakening. My next remembrance is that I looked up with sudden +terror, and that I found myself face to face with Kate, who sat by the +table weeping bitterly. I looked for Cornelius and saw him not. + +"Kate, Kate!" I cried, starting to my feet, "where is he? What has +happened?" + +She shook her head and never replied. + +I crossed the room and opened the door of the front parlour; it was empty +and in confusion; I ran to the front door, opened it, and looked down the +moonlit street. + +"Cornelius!" I cried, "Cornelius!" + +I paused and listened; all I heard was the sound of a carriage rolling +away in the distance. My voice died on my lips in broken accents; my arms +fell by my side powerless and dead. He was gone! gone without a word of +explanation or adieu. In this one circumstance I read a remote journey +and a long absence, and yet I would believe in neither. I re-entered the +parlour where Kate still sat in the same attitude. I went up to her. + +"So he is gone to Yorkshire to see Mr. Smalley?" I said agitatedly. + +"He is gone to Spain," she briefly answered. + +My heart fell. + +"To Spain! for a few months, I suppose?" + +"For years!" + +"I don't believe it!" I cried, angrily; "he could not, would not do such +a thing. You want to frighten me, Kate, but I don't believe you; no, I +don't." + +"You do; in your heart you do; in your heart you know it." + +I did know it; for I gave way to a burst of passion and grief, and spoke +to Kate as I never before had spoken. + +"Gone! gone to Spain, and for years! Kate! how dare you let him go and +not tell me?" + +She looked up at me; her eyes flashing through her tears. + +"And how dare you speak so to me, foolish girl? Is Cornelius anything so +near to you as he is to me? Did you rear him, sacrifice your youth to +him, and then find yourself cast aside and forsaken, as I am this day?" + +"He reared me," I cried, weeping passionately. "Claim him by all you have +sacrificed to him, my claim is all he has been to me! Oh! Kate, why did +he go?" + +"What right have you to know?" she asked, with a jealous bitterness that +exasperated me. + +"Every right," I replied, indignantly. "What have I done to be so +treated?" + +"What have you done? Why, you have done that I believe there is nothing +so dear to him as you are; that his last request was, that instead of +going with him, I should stay with you and wait your wakening; that his +last kiss was that which he gave you as you slept. If you want to know +more, here is a letter for you. Ask me not another question; I shall not +answer. I have no more to say, and I have enough of my own grief." + +She handed me a folded paper. I opened it and read:-- + +"Forgive me, Daisy, if I forsake you thus by stealth; but partings are +bitter things. I wished to spare you some pain, and myself a severe +though useless trial. I had promised to leave you and Kate no more; but +you must have noticed how restless my temper has been of late; indeed, +there is in my blood an unquiet fever which only liberty and a life of +wandering can appease. Good bye, Daisy, God bless you! May you be happy, +ay, even to the fullness of your heart's wishes." + +Kate need not have asked for my silence. I laid down her brother's letter +without a word, not a syllable could I have uttered then; I was hurt; +hurt to the very heart. Cornelius had forsaken me cruelly; he had done to +the girl what pity would never have let him do to the child; he had left +me in my sleep, without one word of adieu. + +I felt the shock and bitterness of this sudden separation, and more +bitterly still the desertion. How could I, after this, think that +Cornelius cared for me? He had liked me, amused himself with me, but I +had never been to him that living portion of the heart which we call a +friend. I could bear his absence, but that he should not care for me, +that he should have been trifling with me all along, I could not bear. I +paced the room up and down, vainly trying to keep in my sobs and tears. +As I passed by the table, a folded paper caught my attention, I seized it +eagerly with that vague hope which clings to everything. In this case it +was not deceived. + +"Oh! Kate, Kate!" I cried, throwing my arms around her neck in a +transport of joy too deep not to make me forget the few sharp words that +had passed between us. + +"Well, what is it?" she asked, amazed. + +"He'll come back; he'll come back; he has forgotten his passport. Oh! I +am so glad! so happy; he can't travel without it, you know. I defy him to +go to Spain now." + +I laughed and cried for joy. She sighed. + +"And if he does come back," she said, "it will be to go away again." + +"We shall see that," I replied indignantly. "I will not let him, Kate. He +has accustomed me to have my way of late, and in this I will have it." + +She shook her head incredulously; but I was confident and did not heed +her; a low rumbling sound down the street had attracted my attention. + +"There he is!" I cried joyfully; and with a beating heart I ran to the +street door. I opened it very softly, and keeping it ajar, I listened. +The sound had ceased, and for a moment all I heard was the voice of Kate +whispering in my ear-- + +"Daisy, if you let him go this time, I shall never forgive you. Do not +mind what I said; keep him; you can if you wish." + +I had not time to think on her words or ask her for their meaning; a +quick and well-known step was coming up the Grove--the garden gate +opened--no bell rang, but a hand tapped lightly at the parlour shutters. +I opened the door wide and Cornelius, for it was he, came up to me. + +"I have forgotten my passport," he said, in a low tone; "it is on the +table in the back-parlour. Is she still asleep?" + +Before I could reply, the moon, that had kept hid behind a dark cloud, +came forth bright and undimmed; her light fell on my face; I saw him +start. + +"Will you not come in, Cornelius?" I said quietly. But he stood there at +the door of his own home, mute and motionless as a statue. "Well then," I +continued, "I must go out to you; perhaps before you cross the seas +again, standing on the threshold of your dwelling, you will not refuse to +grant me what you did not think fit to give me within it--the luxury of a +last adieu--of a last embrace!" + +I stepped out to him as I spoke; but he made me re-enter the house, and +followed me in. + +"Daisy," he said, with a sigh, "I wished to leave whilst you were away, +and fate brought you back; I stole away whilst you were asleep, and I was +compelled to return and find you awake. I thought to spare us both some +pain. I cannot; be it so; you shall have your wish." + +His voice plainly said: "Your wish, and no more." + +"Very well," I replied, quietly; for though I was resolved he should not +go, I knew better than to startle him. + +We re-entered together the back parlour; Kate had left it; but the lamp +still burned on the table. Cornelius sat down by it; his face was pale, +watchful, determined. I saw he was fully on his guard, and prepared to +resist unflinchingly to the last. I was as determined to insist and +prevail. Oh! daily life, that art called tame and reproved as dull, how +is it that to me thou hast ever been so full of strange agitating dramas, +I sat down by Cornelius; I passed my arm within his, and looking up into +his face, I said: + +"When, a few hours ago, I felt so glad to see you safe, Cornelius, I knew +not I was looking my last for a long time." + +He did not answer; I continued: + +"Oh, if I had known we were going to part, how differently I should have +spent this evening! I would not have talked away so foolishly, but have +asked you so many questions--settled so many things! whereas now I have +only a few minutes, and can think of nothing save that you are going +away, Cornelius." + +He quailed, but only momentarily; if his lip trembled a little, his +unmoved look told of unconquerable resolve. + +"You, it seems," I resumed, "had nothing to say to me, Cornelius, or you +could not have wished to go away thus?" + +He drew forth his watch, and said, briefly: + +"I must go soon, Daisy." + +"Kate says you are to be years away--is it true?" + +His silence was equivalent to an assent. + +"Well then, give me the farewell of years," I said, passing my arms +around his neck, and compelling his face to look down at mine. + +He seemed a little troubled, and made a motion to rise. I detained him. + +"A little longer," I entreated; "I have thought of some things about +which I wish to question you." + +"Pray be quick, Daisy." + +"Why do you go to Spain?" + +"For change." + +"You are tired of us?" + +"I am tired of a quiet life." + +"Go to France, Cornelius." + +"Why so?" + +"It is nearer." + +"Daisy, I must really go now." + +"A little longer; I have something else to say." + +"What is it?" + +"I have forgotten; but give me time to remember." + +I laid my head on his shoulder as I spoke. + +"Daisy," he asked, "what have you to say?" + +I wept without answering; but saw his eye vainly looking over the table +in search of something. + +"I have it," I said aloud, "I have it, and I will not give it to you, +Cornelius, for you must not, no, you must not go." + +"I knew it," he resignedly exclaimed, "I knew it would come to this; and +yet," he added, looking down at me rather wistfully, "it is of no use, +Daisy; I must go, and I will go too." + +"No, Cornelius, you will not; you never could have the heart to do it. +Besides, why go?" + +"For change." + +"Change! what is change? If I were an artist I would make variety enough +in my own mind to be the charm of daily life; and whilst I painted +pictures, I would not care a pin for Spain or Italy. If I were an +ambitious spirit, I would not go just when my fame was beginning, when +glorious prospects were opening before me. If I were a brother, and had a +good sister, who loved me dearly, I would not forsake her. If I were a +kind-hearted man, and had adopted a poor little orphan girl, reared her, +indulged her, made her my friend, and promised not to leave her, I would +not break her heart by running away from her; but when she said to me: +'Stay, Cornelius!' I would just give her a kiss, and say: 'Yes, my pet, +by all means!'" + +But in vain. I looked up into his face; he did not kiss me; he did not +call me his pet; his lips never parted to say, "Yes, by all means!" His +head was sunk on his bosom; his arms were folded; his downcast look never +sought mine. I left my place by him to sit down at his feet and see him +better. I read sorrow on his face, great sorrow, but no change of +purpose. I took one of his hands in mine, and gazing at him through +gathering tears: + +"Cornelius," I said, "are you still going?" + +He did not reply. + +"Are you still going?" I asked, laying my head on his knee. + +He remained silent. + +"Are you still going?" I persisted, rising as I spoke, and pressing my +lips to his cheek. He never moved; he never answered. The blood rushed to +my heart with passionate force. I threw back rather than dropped his +hand; I stepped away from him with wounded and indignant pride. "Go +then!" I exclaimed, with angry tears, "go, here is your passport; take it +and with it take back your broken promise and friendship betrayed." + +"Betrayed!" he echoed, looking up. + +"Yes, betrayed; I do not retract the word. Want of confidence is treason +in friendship, and you have had no confidence in me--why in this house, +where as a child I had obeyed you, and could have obeyed you all my life, +why did you of your own accord raise me to an equality which was my boast +and my pride, when in your heart you meant to treat me as a child to be +cheated into a parting? You gave me an empty name; I will have the +reality or I will have nothing, Cornelius." + +I turned away from him as I spoke; he rose and followed me. + +"Daisy," he said, "what do you mean?" + +I looked round at him over my shoulder, and replied, reproachfully: + +"I mean that you do not care for me." + +"I do not care for you!" + +"No; you have secrets from me; William never had any secrets; he liked me +more than you do, Cornelius." + +An expression of so much pain passed across his face, that I repented at +once. + +"You cannot believe that?" he replied at length; "you would not say it if +you were not very angry with me, Daisy, and yet you know, oh! you know +well enough I cannot bear your anger." + +"Can't you bear it, Cornelius?" I answered turning round to face him, +"then don't go; for if you do, I shall be so angry--indeed, you can have +no idea of it!" + +"None, whilst you speak and look so very unlike anger. Oh, Daisy! which +is easier: to part from you in wrath or in peace?" + +"Why part at all? why go?" I replied passing my arm within his, and +looking up at his bending face in which I read signs of yielding. + +"Why remain?" + +"Because I wish it," I said, making him sit down. + +"Is that a reason?" + +"The best of all--for it will make you stay." + +He did not say yes; but then, he did not say no. + +"Stay! stay!" he repeated with an impatient sigh. "What for? You do not +want me." + +"Indeed, I do," I replied, triumphantly, "I want you much, very much, +just now." + +"What for?" + +"To advise me about Mr. Thornton." + +"Ah! what of him?" exclaimed Cornelius, with a sudden start. + +"Nothing," I replied, sorry to have said so much. + +He gave me a look beneath which I felt myself reddening. + +"He too!" he said, biting his lip and folding his arms like one amazed, +"he too! And I was going, actually going, actually leaving you to him." + +He laughed indignantly and rose; I eagerly caught hold of his arm. + +"Oh, I am not going," he exclaimed impetuously, throwing down his hat as +he spoke. "Catch me going now. No, Daisy," he added, resuming his place +by me, and laying his hand on my arm as he bent on me a fixed and +resolute look, "though I was fool enough to let him have the picture, he +shall not find it quite so easy to get the original." + +"Oh, Cornelius!" I exclaimed, feeling ready to cry with vexation and +shame, "that is not at all what I mean." + +"Another," he continued with ill-repressed irritation, "it is the +strangest thing, that young or old, boys in experience, or worn and +wearied with the world, they all want you." + +"Cornelius, how can you talk so! it is Mrs. Langton whom Mr. Thornton +likes." + +"Mrs. Langton!" + +"Yes, Mrs. Langton, the great beauty." + +"So much the better," he replied with a scornful and incredulous laugh, +"for he shall not have you, Daisy." + +"He does not want me," I said desperately; "but if he did, it would be +time lost. For I am sure I don't want him." + +"You do not like him!" observed Cornelius, calming down a little. + +"Very much as a cousin. Not at all, otherwise." + +"And you will not have him, will you, Daisy?" + +He spoke with lingering doubt and uneasiness. + +"I tell you I shall not have the chance," I replied impatiently. "Oh, +Cornelius! will you never leave off fancying that everybody is in love +with me?" + +I could not help laughing as I said it. + +"Yes, laugh," he said reproachfully, "laugh at me, because like the poor +man of the parable told by the Prophet to the sinful King, 'I have but +one little ewe lamb; I have nourished it up, it has eaten of my meat, +drank of my cup, lain in my bosom, and been unto me as a daughter.' Laugh +because I cannot help dreading lest the rich man's insolence should wrest +her from me!" + +"No, Cornelius, I shall laugh no more; but indeed you need not fear that +sort of thing at all. Neither for Mr. Thornton, nor for any other member +of his sex do I care, and when I say that," I added, reddening a little, +"you know what I mean." + +"Too well!" he replied, in a low, sad tone. "Good bye, Daisy. God bless +you!" + +I remained motionless with surprise and grief. He rose; Kate entered the +room. + +"Oh, Kate!" I cried desperately, "after all but promising to stay, he is +going. Speak to him, pray speak to him!" + +She shook her head and stood a little apart, looking on with quiet +attention. + +I silently placed myself before her brother, but he looked both sad and +determined. + +"You cannot have the heart to do it: you cannot!" I exclaimed, the tears +running down my face as I spoke; "you cannot!" + +"Daisy," he replied, in a tone of mingled pain and reproach, "where is +the use of all this? If I could stay, indeed I would; but though I love +you so much, that every tear you now shed seems a drop wrung from the +life blood of my heart, believe me when I declare that though you should +ask me to remain on your bended knees, I should still say no." + +"Then I shall try!" I exclaimed, despairingly; but before I could sink +down at his feet, he had caught hold of both my hands, and compelled me +to remain upright. Hope forsook me. + +"Cornelius," I said, weeping, "will you stay?" + +"No!" + +"Cornelius!" I exclaimed, more earnestly. "Will you stay?" + +This time he did not answer, but his half averted face showed me a +profile severe, resolute, and inexorable. + +"You cannot weary me," I said again; "will you stay?" + +He turned upon me pale with wrath. + +"Oh! blind girl--blind to the last!" he cried, his white lips trembling. +"You ask me to stay--to stay!" + +"Yes, Cornelius, again and again!" + +All patience seemed to forsake him. His eyes lit, his features quivered; +he grasped my hands in his with an angry force, of which he was himself +unconscious. + +"Come," he said, striving to be calm, "do not make me say that which I +should repent. Let us part as it is--do not insist--do not provoke me to +forget honour and truth." + +I could see that Cornelius was angry with me; that my obstinacy provoked +him beyond measure; but his wrath was the wrath of love; it could not +terrify me. I even felt and found in it a perilous pleasure, that made me +smile as I replied: + +"But I do insist, Cornelius." + +His lips parted, as if to utter some vehement reply; then he bit them +with angry force, and knit his brow like one who subdues and keeps down +some inward strife. Kate quietly stepped up to us. + +"The knot that will not be unravelled must be cut," she said. "He will +stay, Daisy, if you will be his wife." + +The words seemed sent, like a quivering arrow, through my very heart. +Cornelius looked confounded at his sister, who only smiled; then he +turned to me, flushed and ardent. As I stood before him, my hands still +grasped in his--his face still bent over mine, half upraised--his look, +overflowing with passion, reproach, love, anger, and tenderness, sank +deep into mine, with a meaning that overpowered me. And yet, as if spell- +bound by the strange and wonderful story thus, at once revealed to me, I +could not cease to hear it. Kate had not spoken--she still spoke in words +that echoed for ever. To speak myself, look away, return once more to the +daily life beyond which that moment stood isolated, were not things in my +power. I felt like one divided from Time by that immortal Present. + +"Oh, Daisy!" vehemently exclaimed Cornelius, "how you linger! 'No' should +have been uttered at once; 'yes' need not tarry so long. Speak--answer. +Must I stay or depart?" + +He spoke with the feverish impatience that will not brook delay. + +"Stay!" broke from me, I knew not why nor how; but with the word, my head +swam; my limbs failed me; there was a chair by me, I sank down upon it. +Cornelius turned very pale, dropped my hands, and walked away without a +word. Kate came to me. + +"Daisy," she said, taking my hand in her own, "what is it? Are you faint? +Have this," she added, handing me the glass of wine which, at once, her +brother had poured out. + +"No," I replied, "water." + +She gave me some. I drank it off, but it did not calm the fever which she +took for faintness. I clasped my brow between my hands, to compose and +concentrate thought; but my whole being--my mind, faculties, soul, body, +and heart, were in tumult and insurrection. I could hear, see, feel--know +nothing of that inward world of which I called myself mistress. I rose, +terrified at the sudden storm which had broken on my long peace. + +"Daisy, do not look so wild!" said Kate; and taking me in her arms, she +wanted to make me sit down again; but I broke from her. I passed by her +brother without giving him a look, ran up to my own room, and locked +myself in like one pursued. + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + + +A faint streak of grey was breaking in the east, through the low and +heavy clouds of night. I went up to the window, opened it, and kneeling +down by it, I looked at that still dark sky, and surrendered myself to +the swift current that was bearing me away. + + +There is a rapture in strong emotions that has subdued the strongest; a +perilous charm to which the wisest have yielded. What the storm is to our +senses--something that raises, appals and lifts up our very being by its +sublimity and terror--the strife of the passions is to the soul. They are +her elements, from whose conflicts and electric shocks she derives her +strength, her greatness, the knowledge that she is. And for this, though +they so often blight her fairest hopes, she loves them. + +It is hard, indeed, to be ever striving against those rebellious +servants--to feel torn asunder in the struggle; but sweeter is that +bitter contest than a long, lifeless peace. The danger lies not so much +in the chance of final subjection, as in that of learning to love the +strife too well. More perilous than the sweetest music is its tumult; +more endless than are all the delights of the senses, and far more +intoxicating is its infinite variety. The soul, in her most blissful +repose, has nothing to equal the burning charm of her delirium. + +My youth had been calm as an ice-bound sea, over which sweep breezes +sweet though chill, but that knows neither the storm nor the sunshine of +the ardent south. And now the storm had suddenly wakened, and from +northern winter, I passed to the glowing tropics. I thought not of love +or passion, of bliss or torment; I felt like one seized by foaming +rapids, and swept far beyond human ken, with the sound of the rushing +torrent ever in my ears. I yielded to a force that would not be resisted. + +"Let it," I thought, my heart beating with fearless delight; "I care not +whither it sends me; let the eddies cast me adrift--or bear me safely +on--I care not--this is to live!" + +I strove not against the current; I sought not to know where I was, until +of itself the stream flowed more calm, until its mighty voice died away +in faint murmurs, and I found myself floating safe in still waters. Then +I looked up, and like one who after sleeping on earth wakens in fairy- +land, I beheld with trembling joy the strange and wonderful country to +which I had been borne during the long slumber of a year. Cornelius loved +me! it was marvellous, incredible, but a great and glorious thing for all +that. He loved me! my heart swelled; my soul rose; I felt humble, exalted +and blest far beyond the power of speech to render. I had no definite +thought, no definite wish, but before me extended the future like an +endless summer day; beneath it spread life as an enchanted region which +Cornelius and I paced hand in hand, bending our steps towards that golden +west where burned a sun that should never set. + +"Yes, he loves me!" I repeated to myself as I remembered every token +unheeded till then. "And do I love him?" oh! how swift came the +irresistible reply: "with every power of my soul, with every impulse of +my being, with the blood that flows in my veins, with the heart that +beats in my bosom." The answer both startled and charmed me. I did not +understand it rightly yet, and like one suddenly taken captive, I looked +at my bonds and saw incredulously that the liberty of thought, heart and +feeling had departed for ever; that an influence as subtle as it was +penetrating had taken possession of my being. One moment I rebelled; but +after a brief struggle for freedom, I owned myself conquered; with +beating heart and burning brow lowly bent, I confessed my master. + +Filial reverence, sisterly love, friendship, what had become of ye then? +Like weak briars and brambles swept away by a swift stream, ye perished +at once on the path of passion. I wondered not that ye should be no more. +I only wondered ye had ever been: vain words by which I had long been +deluded. + +I looked back into my past. Since I had known him, I could not remember +the time when the thought of Cornelius had not been to me as the daily +bread of my heart. There had been familiarity in my deepest tenderness, +and lingering passion in my very freedom. I had felt intuitively that I +could not make my love for a man, young and not of my blood, too sacred +and too pure, and that love ever craving for a more perfect, more entire +union, had caught eagerly at these shadows of what it sought. I had said +to myself, to him, to all, that my affection was that of a child for its +father, of a sister for her brother, of a friend for her friend, because +it had not occurred to me that a closer tie might one day bind us; and +what I had said, I had believed most sincerely. + +I was very young and very innocent. Of love I had read little, and seen +less. So long as it came not to me in visible aspect; so long as I felt +not within myself some great change, I dreamt not of it. There is a love +that lies in the heart unconscious of itself, like a child asleep in its +cradle--and this I had never suspected. There is a love which grows with +onr years, until it becomes part of our being; which never agitates, +because it has no previous indifference, no remembrance of the time in +which it was not, against which to strive; which has purer and deeper +signs than the beating heart, the blushing cheek, the averted look--and +all this I knew not. Where there is no resistance, there can be no +struggle; but because there is no struggle shall any one dare to say-- +there is no victory? Reduce to logic the least logical of all passions, +and argue with a feeling that smiles at argument, and disdains to reply. + +Had I then loved Cornelius even as a child? loved him with that purer +part of affection which needs not to wait for the growth of years? God +alone knows. Love is a great mystery; it is easy to remember the time of +its discovery, but wise, indeed, are they who can tell the hour and +moment of its birth. + +I had the wisdom not to ask myself so useless a question. The past +vanished from my thoughts; it was all future now. I looked at the eastern +sky; it was reddening fast, and grew more bright and burning as I looked. +With the superstition of the heart, I watched the dawn of that day, as +that which opened my new existence, and for all of the past that it +revealed, and I had never seen; for all of the future that it promised, +and I had never hoped. I gave thanks to God. + +I know not how long I had been thus, when a tap at my door disturbed me. +I rose, opened, and saw Kate. She made me turn my face to the light, then +half smiled, and said: + +"Cornelius wants to speak to you; he is quite in a way. Pray come down." + +I followed her down stairs in silence. She opened the back parlour door, +closed it, and left me. I stood still; all the blood in my frame seemed +to have rushed to my beating heart. It was one thing to be alone with +Cornelius, my friend, and another to find myself thus suddenly brought to +the presence of Cornelius, my lover. + +He sat by the open window; beyond it rose the green garden trees tinged +with a rosy light, and above them spread the blushing sky. A fresh breeze +came in bearing soft sounds of rustling leaves and twittering songs of +wakening birds. He too had watched the dawning day; but there seemed to +have been at least as much sorrow as love in his vigil. He looked pale, +weary, and slowly turned around as I entered. He saw me standing at the +door, rose, and came up to me without speaking. I looked at him like one +in a dream. He took my passive hand in his, and gave me a troubled +glance, then suddenly he passed his other arm around me, looking down at +me with the saddest face. + +"And is it thus indeed, Daisy," he said, in a low tone, "you are pale as +death, but as silent; your hand lies in mine chill as ice, but not +withdrawn; you yield, mute and meek as a poor little victim to the arms +that clasp you! No tears! No words to rouse remorse or sting pride. +Nothing but entire sacrifice, and that silent submission." + +He spoke of paleness; his own face was like marble, his eyes overflowed, +his lips trembled, he stooped to press them on my brow. Involuntarily I +shunned the embrace. + +"Do not shrink," he observed, with evident pain, "I mean it as the last. +Yes! the last. I never intended putting you to such a trial. Never, +Daisy," he continued, giving me a wistful look, "anger at your blindness, +and the irresistible temptation of a sudden opportunity, did indeed make +me forget, in one moment, the dearly-bought patience of a year; passion, +roused to tyranny after her long subjection, and sick of restraint, did +indeed vow she would and should be gratified, no matter what the cost +might be; but I never meant it. You are young, generous, and devoted. +Months ago, if I had spoken, I know--and I knew it then--that I could +have had you for the asking. But I could not bear to have you thus. When +your grandfather placed so great a trust in my honour, and showed so +little faith in my generosity, I laughed at his blindness, for I thought +age had cooled his blood, and made him forget the language which is not +speech. But alas! I found that I who had taught you many things, could +not teach you this lesson. How could I? when what is held the easiest of +all, the letting you see what you were to me, I could never accomplish. +Do, say, act as I would, the sacredness of your affection ever stood +between us. I tried every art, and love has many, but when I spoke so +plainly, it seemed as if a very child must have understood me. You looked +or smiled with hopeless serenity. I vowed once that cost me what it +might, I would not speak until I had made you love me as truly, as +ardently as I loved you myself. I waited months, I might have waited +years. Well, no matter, it is over now. Be free, forget the trouble of an +hour in the peace of a life-time. Be happy, very happy, and yet, oh! how +happy, it seems to me, your friend could have made you, if you would but +have let him." + +He released and left me. Touched with his sorrow, I could not restrain my +tears. + +"Weep not for me," he said, with a sad smile; "I shall do. It is true +that when I came back from Italy, I secretly boasted that I had escaped +both the follies of youth and the dangers of passion. But though Fate, +which I braved abroad, has, like a traitor, lain in wait for me in my own +home, know, Daisy, that like a man, I can look her in the face, stern and +bitter as she wears it on this day, too long delayed, of our separation." + +"Then you do mean to go?" I exclaimed, troubled to the very heart. + +"Can you think I would stay?" he replied, vehemently. "Oh! Daisy, tempt +me not to call you cold and heartless, to say those things which a +lifetime vainly repents and never effaces. Is it because I have passed +through a year of the hardest self-subjection ever imposed on mortal; +through a year of looks restrained, words hushed, emotions repressed; a +year of fever and torment endured, that not a cloud might come over the +serenity of your peace--is it for this, Daisy, that you think my heart +and my blood so cold as to wish me to stay; as not to see that between +complete union or utter separation there can now be no medium?" + +His look sought mine with a troubled glance; there was fever in his +accent, and pain in the half smile with which he spoke. + +"But why go so soon?" I asked, in a low tone. + +"Why? Daisy, you ask why? Because endurance has reached her utmost +limits, and cannot pass them; because the rest is an abyss over which not +even a poor plank stretches; because the thing I have delayed months must +be done now or never: because, hard as is your absence, your constant +presence is something still harder to bear." + +He spoke with an ill-subdued irritation I knew not how to soothe. + +"Cornelius!" I said in my gentlest accents, "if you would but stay and be +calm." + +"Stay and be calm!" he replied impetuously, and pacing the room with +hasty steps, that ever came back to me; "why, I have been the calmest of +calm men! When, one after another, they attempted to woo and win under my +very eyes the only girl for whom I cared, she whom I looked on as my +future wife; as the secret betrothed of my heart: when, to add taunt to +taunt, as if I were not flesh and blood like them; as if I had not known +you more years than they had known you weeks; loved you, when they cared +not if you existed, they allowed me with insolent unconsciousness to +behold it all, did I not subdue the secret wrath which trembled in every +fibre of my being? What more would you have me do? Wait to see in the +possession and enjoyment of one more fortunate than the rest, that which +should have been my property and my joy; whilst I looked on, a robbed +father, a friend forsaken, a lover betrayed, and behold my child, +companion, friend and mistress the prize of a stranger!" + +"Do you think then," he added, stopping short, and speaking with calmer +and deeper indignation, "do you think then that I have severed you from +the lover of your youth, guarded you from my own friends, watched over +you as a miser over his gold, suspected every man who looked at you, +sickened at the thought, 'Is it now I am to be robbed?' breathed and +lived again at the reply, 'Not yet'--to stay and wait until some other +comes and reaps the fruit of all my vain watchfulness." + +His eyes flashed, and his lips trembled with jealous resentment. Borne +away by the force of his own feelings, he had spoken with a vehement +rapidity, that left him no room for pause, as they left me no room for +interruption. At length he ceased. I looked at him; he had spoken of his +patience with feverish anger, of his calmness with bitter indignation; +the passionate emotions had left their traces on his brow slightly +contracted, on his pale and agitated face, in his look that still burned +with ill-repressed fire; but there was sweetness in his reproaches, and a +secret pleasantness in his wrath. + +"Another," I said quietly, "and suppose there is no other. Suppose no one +cares for me." + +"No one!" he echoed, drawing nearer, and taking my hand in his, with a +sudden change of mood and accent, "No one, Daisy! Oh! you know there will +always be one. One who sat with you by a running stream for the whole of +a summer's noon, and at whom your face seemed to look from the clear +waters until it sank deep and for ever in his heart. One who waking or +sleeping, has loved you since that day, and for whom it is you, Daisy, +who care not." + +I said I did care for him. + +"But how, how?" he asked, with an impatient sigh, "you mean old +affection, habit, friendship, and I, you know well enough, mean none of +those things. I love you because do what I will, you attract me +irresistibly. If I had met you in the street by chance, I should have +said, 'this girl and none other I will have;' I would have followed you, +ascertained your dwelling, name and parentage, ay, and made you love me +too, Daisy, cold as you are now." + +"I am not cold, Cornelius." + +"Alas, no," he replied, a little passionately, "and there too is the +mischief. Oh! Daisy, be merciful! Give nothing if you cannot give all. Be +at once all ice, and torment me no more with the calm serenity which is +never coldness. Do you know how often you have made me burn to remind +you, that though I was no one to you, you might be some one to me; that +you have made me long for the sting of indifference and pride; for a +familiarity less tender, for a tenderness less dangerous? Do you know +that if your affection has been too calm for love, it has been very +ardent for mere friendship; that it has possessed the perilous charm of +passion and purity; passion which would be divine if it could but be +pure; purity which, if it were but ardent, would be irresistibly +alluring. You have tormented me almost beyond endurance, then when I gave +up hope, you have suddenly said and done the kindest things maiden ever +said or did. You have deserted me and returned to me, embraced me with +the careless confidence of a sister, spoken with the tenderness of a +mistress, and perplexed me beyond all mortal knowledge. But why do I +speak as if this were over? Daisy! you perplex me still. This very +evening have you not declared that you care for no other, then almost as +plainly said you cared not for me. Have you not heard me tell you how +warmly I love you, yet have you not asked me to stay here in this house +ever near you? Nay, though I speak now from the very fulness of my heart, +do you not stand, your hand in mine, listening to me with patient, quiet +grace? I dare not hope, I will not quite despair; I can do neither, for I +protest, Daisy, that you are still to me a riddle and a mystery, and that +whether you love him or love him not, is more than Cornelius O'Reilly can +tell." + +Cornelius had said all this without a pause of rest: he spoke with the +daring rapidity of passion which tarries not for words, but with many an +eloquent change of look, tone, and accent. I had heard him with throbbing +bosom and burning brow. For the first time I was addressed in the +language of love, and the voice that spoke was very dear to me. Answer I +could not. I stood before him, listening to tones that had ceased, but +that still echoed in my heart. When he confessed, however, that he did +not know whether or not I loved him, an involuntary smile stole over my +face, and this he was very quick to see; his look, keen and searching, +sought mine; his face, eager and flushed, was bent over me. + +"Look at me, Daisy," he said, quickly. + +I looked up, smiling still; for I thought to myself, "I love him, but he +shall not know it just yet." But as I looked, a change of feeling came +over my heart. I remembered the past, his long goodness, his patient, +devoted love, and I could not take my eyes away. + +"Well," he said, uneasily, "why do you look at me so strangely? My face +is not new to you, Daisy. You have had time to know it all these years." + +Ay, years had passed since our first meeting; and what had he not been to +me since then? My adopted father, my kind guardian, my secure protector, +my faithful friend, my devoted lover! As I thought of all this, and still +looked at him, his kind, handsome face grew dim through gathering tears. +"I will tell him all," I thought; "I will be ingenuous and good; tell him +how truly, how ardently I love him." The words rose to my lips, and died +away unuttered. Is the language in which woman utters such confessions +yet invented? Oh! love and pride, tyrants of her heart, how sharp was +your contest then in mine! He was bending over me with strange tormenting +anxiety in his face. I bowed my head away from his gaze. He half drew me +closer, half pushed me back; his hand sought, then rejected, mine. He saw +my eyes overflowing. + +"Oh, Daisy, Daisy!" he exclaimed, "what does this mean?" + +"Guess," was my involuntary reply. + +"Do not trifle with me," he said, in a tone of passionate entreaty--"do +not." + +"Trifle with you! Could I, Cornelius?" + +"Prove it then." + +He stooped and looked up; for a moment my lips touched his cheek, whilst +his lingered on my brow. Many a time before had Cornelius kissed me; but +this was the first embrace of a love, mutual, ardent, and yet, God knows +it, very pure--ay, far too religiously pure to trouble. And thus it was +all understood--all known--all told--without a word. + +When I felt that the unconscious dream of my whole life was fulfilled; +that I was everything to him who had so long been everything to me; when +I looked up into his face, met his look, in which the affection of the +tried friend, and the love of the lover, unequivocally blended, and knew +that no other human being--not even his sister--could claim and fill that +place where my heart had found its home, and that as I loved so was I +loved,--I also felt that I had conquered fate; that I triumphed over by- +gone sorrow, and could defy the might of time. I cried for joy, as I had +often cried for grief on that kind heart which had sheltered my forsaken +childhood and unprotected youth. + +"Tears!" he said, with a smile of reproach; and yet he knew well enough +they were not tears of sorrow. + +"They will be to me what the rain has been to the night, Cornelius; a +freshening dew." + +I went up to the open window; I leaned my brow on the cool iron bar; the +morning air came in pure, chill, and fragrant. I shivered slightly. +Cornelius, who had followed me, saw this, and wanted to close the window. + +"Do not," I said; "this cool, keen air is delightful. Then I like to +watch the rising of that sun that thought to see you far on your journey, +and that shall find you here. Besides, bow beautiful our little garden +looks!" + +"Then come out into it for awhile." + +He took my arm. I yielded. We went down into the garden and paced its +narrow gravel path without uttering a word. There came a slight shower; +we stepped under the old poplar trees; they yielded more than sufficient +shelter. The sun shone through the sparkling drops as they fell, and +whilst the fresh rain came down, the birds overhead sang sweetly under +the cover of young leafy boughs, as if their song could know no ending. +Yes, sweet and near though I knew it to be, it sounded to me as coming +from the depths of some dreamy forest far away. I do not think our garden +had ever looked so fresh, so pleasant, or been so fragrant as when that +shower ceased. The rain-clouds soft and grey, had melted into the vapoury +blue of upper air; the warm sunshine tempered the coolness of the breeze, +the green grass was white and heavy with the dew of night, and bright +with the rain of the morning; the wet gravel sparkled, the dark trunks of +the trees trickled slowly, the brown moss clung closer to the old sun- +dial, the fresh earth smelt sweet, stock, mignionette, wall-flower, +furze, and jessamine yielded their most fragrant odours. Rhododendrons +beaten down by the last night's storm trailed on the earth their gorgeous +masses, whilst sparkling fox-gloves, with a dew-drop to every flower, +still rose straight and tall. We were again walking on. Cornelius +suddenly stopped short, and for the first time spoke. + +"Daisy," he said, earnestly, "you are quite sure, are you not?" + +"Look at that flower," was my only reply. + +It was a crimson peony, heavy with rain. I bent it slightly; from the +delicate petals, from the heart which seemed untouched by a breath, there +poured forth a bright shower of liquid dew. + +"What about that flower, Daisy?" + +"It is a peony, Cornelius." + +"Let it." + +"Well, I don't think you can prevent it from being one. Peonies will be +peonies." + +"Who wants to interfere with their rights? and what have peonies to do +with our discourse, unless that you look very like one just now? Oh, +Daisy! are you sure you like me well enough to marry me?" + +"Don't think, if ever I do such a thing, it shall be for liking, +Cornelius." + +"What for, then?" + +"To prevent you from marrying any one else." + +He still looked uneasy, and yet he might have known that, though it is +sometimes very hard to know where love is, it is always wonderfully easy +to know where he is not. + +"What would you have?" I asked, a little impatiently. "Is it the love, +honour, and obey that troubles you? Well, I have loved you all my life, +or very nearly. I honour you more than living creature; as for obedience, +I could obey you all the day long, Cornelius." + +"Do you mean to turn out a Griseldis?" he said, uneasily. "What put such +ideas into your head?" + +"Remembrance of the time--" + +"I knew you would grow filial again," he interrupted, looking provoked, +"instead of answering my question, which was--" + +"Concerning your wife," I interrupted, in my turn; "what about her? She +ought to be a proud woman, and it will be her own fault if she is not +happy--ay, a very happy one." + +He stroked my hair, and smiled quite pleased. + +"I hope so," he said. "And yet you do not know what I mean to do for her, +Daisy. I will paint her pictures that shall beat all the sonnets Petrarch +ever sang to his Laura. I will win her fame and money: I will dress her +as fine as any queen, until my field-flower shall outshine every flower +of the garden. Above all, I will love her as knight of chivalry, or hero +of romance, never loved his lady." + +He spoke with jesting, yet very tender flattery. Love can take every +tone, and bend any language to its own meaning. + +I know not how long we lingered together in that garden. I was the first +to become conscious of time. + +"Where is Kate?" I asked. + +"Forgotten," replied her low voice. + +She stood beneath the ivied porch; her head a little inclined; one hand +supporting her cheek. She looked down at us with a smile happy, yet not +without sadness. + +"Don't think I envy you the pleasant time," she resumed more gaily; "I +like to see people enjoying themselves. When I meet couples in the lanes, +I either get out of the way, or, if I cannot do that, I give them +internally my benediction. 'Go on,' I think to myself, 'go on; you will +never be happier, nor, perhaps, better than you are now. Go on.'" + +"We want to go in," said Cornelius, as we ascended the steps. + +As I passed by her, Kate arrested me by laying her hand on my shoulder, +and saymg: + +"Look at that child! She has not slept all night, and there is not a rose +of the garden half so fresh. It's a nice thing to be young, Cornelius." + +She sighed a little, then led the way in to the front parlour, where +breakfast was waiting. + +"Already!" said Cornelius. + +"Yes, already," she replied, sitting down to pour out the tea: "whilst +you were in the clouds, the world has gone on just the same. Midge, why +don't you sit near him as usual? you are not ashamed of yourself, are +you?" + +Ashamed! Oh, no! There is no shame in happiness; and God alone knows how +happy I felt then sitting by him whom I loved, and facing her whom I +loved almost as well. I do not know how I looked, or Cornelius either; +for I did not look at him; but I know that Kate was radiant; that every +time her bright eyes rested on us, they sparkled like diamonds, and that +it touched me to the heart to read the generous, unselfish joy painted on +her handsome face. + +We were no sooner alone, than with her habit of continuing aloud whatever +secret train of thought she chanced to be engaged in, Miss O'Reilly said +to me in her most positive manner: + +"I am very glad of it." + +"Are you, Kate?" I replied, passing my arm around her neck and kissing +her. + +"Yes, you coaxing little thing; for he is devotedly fond of you, and I +believe you like him with your whole heart, though it took you so long to +find it out. What would you and he have done without me." + +"I don't know, Kate, but how came you to let him think of going?" + +"Ah! he quite deceived me in that matter; I never dreamt of it until it +was all settled. It was no use my telling him that if you only knew he +liked you, you would be glad to have him, as indeed any girl in her +senses would. He said you only liked him in a sisterly sort of way, and +would be off. I thought I would find out when he was gone, what sort of a +way it was, but I had not the trouble." + +I smiled. She gave me a wistful look and said: + +"Ah! you don't want to be his niece now, do you?" + +"No, indeed," I promptly answered. + +"And I don't wish it either," she replied with a stifled sigh, "time was +when I fretted and repined; when I wished I had been the wife of Edward +Burns, and that his child had been my child; but that is over. I am glad +now that my heart was denied that which it craved so eagerly; that my +youth was cold and lonely; that my sorrow which past, purchased him and +you a happiness which will I trust endure. Oh, Daisy! this is a good +world after all, and with a good God over it; don't you see how the grief +of one is made to work the bliss of another; how because your father and +I were severed, the two children we loved so dearly can be united?" + +"I see, Kate," I replied looking up into her face, "that Cornelius is +good; that I, too, am what is called a good girl, and yet that we are two +selfish creatures; that you alone are truly good and noble." + +She shook her head with humble denial. + +"I am an idolator for all that," she replied, her lips trembling +slightly, "and you are blind if you do not see it. When I lost my lover, +I set my heart on a child--for what are we to do with our hearts, if we +don't love with them?--and he has kept it, and if God, to chastise me, +were to take him from me to-morrow, I feel I should love him as much in +his grave as I do on earth. If it be a sin, I trust to His mercy to +forgive it. Sometimes, when my heart fails me, I cling to the +recollection of His humanity. He who felt so much tenderness for his dear +mother; who loved His brethren so truly; who cherished the beloved +disciple; who wept by the grave of Lazarus, will surely not be very +severe on a poor woman to whose whole life he thought fit to grant but +one delight and one happy love. Do you think he will, Daisy?" + +I was too much moved to reply. + +"Now, child," she said gaily, "don't cry, or Cornelius, whom I hear +coming down after you, will think I have been scolding my future sister- +in-law." + +"And would you not have the right to do so?" I asked, kissing her with +mingled tenderness and reverence. + +As she returned the embrace, Cornelius entered, and from the threshold of +the door, looked at us with a delighted smile. + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + + + +How Mrs. Langton explained her conduct towards me, is more than I know; +but it cannot have been to the dissatisfaction of Edward Thornton; for +within two or three weeks they were married. They went to Italy on a +matrimonial tour, and there they have resided ever since, leaving Mrs. +Brand in happy and undisturbed possession of Poplar Lodge. + +They thought not of us, and we thought not of them, nor of mortal +creature, save Kate. The present effaced the past, and absorbed the +future. Familiar affection may not have the romance and mystery of the +passion which has given one soul and one heart to beings hitherto +strangers; but it has a deeper tenderness and far more sacred purity. +Love now sat with us at board and hearth; something unknown lingered at +twilight-time in the shadow of the room, and morn and eve a charmed +presence haunted every garden-path and bower. + +Kate allowed us to dream away a few days, then suddenly startled us one +evening, by saying quietly: + +"Cornelius, when do you mean to write to Mr. Thornton?" + +Cornelius started, and turned a little pale; my work dropped from my +hands, and I sank back on my chair. Upon which he looked distracted, and +seemed ready to quarrel with Kate for having started such an unwelcome +subject. + +"Nonsense!" she said gaily, "don't you see it is all right." + +We looked at her, she smiled kindly. + +"You have written to him?" anxiously observed Cornelius. + +"I have seen him this very day. You need not open your eyes. What are +railroads and express trains for? Why should I not go via Thornton House, +and give a look to Rock Cottage; for I trust you do not mean to follow +the foolish cockney fashion of associating your honeymoon with hotels and +long bills. I shall never forget the impression I received, when Mr. +Foster said to his wife with whom he ran away: 'Don't you remember, dear, +how they cheated us at that Hotel des Etrangers?' 'Yes, dear,' she +replied, 'but you know they were twice as bad at the H?tel d'Angleterre.' +Poor things, it was ten years ago, but they had not forgotten it yet." + +"Kate," interrupted Cornelius, "what about Mr. Thornton." + +"Why nothing save that he seemed inclined to be merry, and said if he had +reflected there was a woman in the case, he could have foretold at once +what would become of the secret. Don't you see, you foolish fellow, that +he only meant this as a bit of humiliation and punishment for you. But +that if he did not want you to marry Daisy, he would not have allowed her +to be here. For my part I like him, and did not find him so very grim. He +showed me his books, instruments, and when I left, hoped he should see me +again." + +"That is more than he ever did for any one," I said astonished; "Kate, +you have made a conquest." + +She looked handsome enough for it, and so Cornelius told her. She laughed +at us, and bade us mind our own business. More she did not say then, but +it came out a few days later that Mr. Thornton had told her the sooner +Cornelius and I were married, the better he would be pleased. As this was +precisely the feeling of Cornelius and Kate, I yielded. + +We were married very quietly one sunny summer morning; then we bade Kate +adieu for a fortnight, which we were to spend in Rock Cottage. It was her +darling wish that we should go there, and we gratified her. + +I remember well how strangely I felt when we reached my old home, now +ours. It was not a year since I had left it, but it seemed ages. +Everywhere we found touching tokens of the recent presence of Kate, and +of her thoughtful tenderness. The sun was setting; we watched it from the +beach beneath the pine trees, and never--so at least it seemed to me, and +it cannot have been a fancy of mine, for Cornelius said so too--never had +the sun set more gloriously, or the sea looked more beautiful than on +this the eve of our marriage day. + +As in the visions of olden prophets, the cloudless heavens before us +seemed to open, revealing depths of blazing light with long golden rays +that, as they departed from the sun, grew paler until they faded into the +deep evening blue. From the cliff whence we looked down, we saw the heavy +billows of the sea rolling away towards the far horizon, and touched with +a changing light that seemed both alive and burning. + +The glowing heavens were still; the voice of the ocean was murmuring and +low; the land breeze was silent, and thus, looking at the two vast +solitudes of sea and sky, we forgot earth beneath and behind us, as we +sometimes forget life in the contemplation of eternity. I do not think I +ever felt existence less than I did then, though so near to him whom I +yet loved with every faculty of my being. But there is in true happiness +something sublime that raises the soul far beyond mortality. + +If I felt anything in that hour, it was that the glorious ideal world +which lay before us was not more lovely or more ideal than the new world +which I now entered; and where in this life and the next, I hoped to +dwell for ever with Cornelius. For to those who love purely, love is its +own world, its own solitude, its own new created Eden, green and pleasant +where they abide, a new born Adam and Eve, without the temptation and the +fall, their hearts filled with tenderness, their souls overflowing with +adoration. + +I know at least that sitting thus by Cornelius, my hand in his, my eyes +like his watching that broad, tranquil sun slowly going down to rest, I +had never felt more deeply religious, more conscious of God in my heart. +As the bright disk dipped in the long line of the cool looking sea, then +sank rapidly, and at length vanished beneath the deep wave; as dark +clouds advanced across the sky, and the beautiful vision was lost in the +purple shadows of coming night, I felt that the earthly sun might set, +but that within me dwelt the peace and loveliness of an eternal dawn. + +When the chill sea breeze began to sweep down the coast, Cornelius made +me rise. Through the green garden we walked back to the house. He stopped +before the stone steps and said: + +"It was here I found you lying eight years ago: do you remember, Daisy?" + +"Yes, Cornelius, I was very wretched, very lonely when you came and sat +down by me, took me in your arms, kissed me and consoled me." + +"God bless you for having remembered it so long!" + +"As if it were likely I should forget it! Cornelius, I do not think we +have ever sat on those stone steps since that day; let us do so now, and +talk of all that has happened since then." + +We did so. It was the pure twilight hour, when earth and all she bears +lie dark and sleeping beneath a vast clear sky, to which light seems to +have retreated. For awhile we talked, but of its own accord speech soon +sunk into silence. What we said I do not remember now; but I still +remember how solemnly beautiful was that eve; how the calm moon rose +behind the house and looked down at us from her lonely place above; how, +as the sky darkened, it grew thick with stars; how the pine-trees bowed +to the sea-breeze at the end of the garden; how the waves broke at the +foot of the cliff with a low dash, pleasant to the ears, and how as I sat +by Cornelius I felt I was no longer a poor orphan child, but a happy and +loved woman; no longer an object of pity and sorrow, but the proud +companion of his life, and the chosen wife of his heart. + + + +Home, realm of woman, pleasant shelter of her youth, gentle dominion +granted to her life, I can say that thou hast yielded me some of the +purest and deepest joys. + +Before leaving Leigh, we saw my grandfather, who received us kindly, and +bade Cornelius be fond of me. We have now been married three years. He +declares he is more in love with me than on the first day, and I believe +it. Kate says "nonsense!" but I know well enough she likes us to be so +fond of one another. She, too, is very happy; for though she agrees with +me that Cornelius has not yet obtained the position he deserves to have, +yet, as he is universally acknowledged to be a genuine artist, as his +pictures are prized, and sell well, she assures me that, spite of +professional jealousy, he will one day be held second to none. I tell her +I am sure of it. Cornelius laughs at us, and thinks the very same thing +in his heart, for he works harder, and, though he will not confess it, is +more eager and ambitious than ever. + +We are, as we have always been, a good deal together; for we have no +children to divert my attention. This is the only sore point with Kate. +It seems such a thing never happened before in the O'Reilly family, and +she cannot make it out. But Cornelius and I do not mind; we are young, +happy and leave the future to Providence. + +It was last year, when Cornelius went to Spain--for he did go after all, +but only for a few months, and I did not like to leave Kate, who seemed +to me rather unwell--that I began this narrative. I had just received a +letter from William Murray, who wrote to tell me that he was married and +happy. My past life seemed to rise before me; so, to recal it, and divert +my mind from dwelling too much on the absence of Cornelius, I one evening +wrote a few pages, to which, day after day, more were added. + +Oh my husband! my handsome, gifted husband! I love you much, very much, +more than I shall ever tell you, and far more than I have dared to write +even here; but if you should some day chance to see that which I never +meant to be seen, know, at least, that to your wife, there never was a +pleasanter task than thus to record the story of her long love for you, +as child, girl, and woman. + + + +THE END. + + + +PRINTING OFFICE OF THE PUBLISHER. + + + + +Typographical errors silently corrected: + + +Volume 1 + + +Chapter 5 : =you no lessons.= replaced by =you no lessons?= + +Chapter 11 : =in a lone tone= replaced by =in a low one= + +Chapter 11 : =was it not Mr. O'Reilly= replaced by =was it not, Mr. +O'Reilly= + +Chapter 13 : =Well, what is it?= replaced by ="Well, what is it?= + +Chapter 14 : =examined now.= replaced by =examined now?= + +Chapter 15 : =it I saw= replaced by =if I saw= + +Chapter 19 : =rocks at Leigh,= replaced by =rocks at Leigh,"= + + +Volume 2 + + +Chapter 1 : =hastily checked,= replaced by =hastily checked.= + +Chapter 2 : =knew me not."= replaced by =knew me not.= + +Chapter 6 : =I forget it= replaced by =I forgot it= + +Chapter 6 : =thing. I am satisfied= replaced by =thing, I am satisfied= + +Chapter 6 : =creature you are?= replaced by =creature you are!= + +Chapter 6 : =with that you know= replaced by =with that, you know= + +Chapter 6 : =answering that question.= replaced by =answering that +question?= + +Chapter 9 : =bouquet, I meant= replaced by =bouquet I meant= + +Chapter 9 : =recal= replaced by =recall= + +Chapter 10 : =There reigns= replaced by ='There reigns= + +Chapter 10 : =do you advise.= replaced by =do you advise?= + +Chapter 10 : =Yung-Frau= replaced by =Jung-Frau= + +Chapter 12 : =trumbler= replaced by =tumbler= + +Chapter 12 : =You don't Cornelius= replaced by =You don't, Cornelius= + +Chapter 12 : =next day, day Cornelius= replaced by =next day, and +Cornelius= + +Chapter 13 : =not an artists= replaced by =not an artist= + +Chapter 16 : =about Nothing?'"= replaced by =about Nothing'?"= + +Chapter 16 : =poor you see= replaced by =poor, you see= + +Chapter 17 : =Girl Reading!'= replaced by =Girl Reading'!= + +Chapter 18 : ="Ashamed= replaced by =Ashamed= + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DAISY BURNS (VOLUME 2)*** + + +******* This file should be named 36158.txt or 36158.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/6/1/5/36158 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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