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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/36156.txt b/36156.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b6379d1 --- /dev/null +++ b/36156.txt @@ -0,0 +1,16668 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Amy Herbert, by Elizabeth Sewell + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost +no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use +it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this +eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Amy Herbert + + +Author: Elizabeth Sewell + + + +Release Date: May 18, 2011 [eBook #36156] +Last Updated: December 21, 2017 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMY HERBERT*** + + +Elizabeth Sewell (1815-1906), Amy Herbert (1844), 1886 edition + + +Produced by Daniel FROMONT + + + + +AMY HERBERT + + + +BALLANTYNE, HANSON AND CO. EDINBURGH AND LONDON + + + +AMY HERBERT + + + +BY + + + +ELIZABETH M. SEWELL + + + +Why should we fear Youth's draught of joy, If pure, would sparkle less? +Why should the cup the sooner cloy Which God Hath deign'd to bless? + +CHRISTIAN YEAR. + + + + +NEW EDITION + + +LONDON + +LONGMANS, GREEN, AND CO. + +1886 + + + +AMY HERBERT. + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +In a remote picturesque village, on the borders of one of the few +remaining forests in England, was situated the home of Amy Herbert. It +was a lovely cottage, with a thatched roof and latticed windows, covered +with creepers and roses, and standing upon a smooth velvet lawn, which +gently sloped to the edge of a clear stream, that flowed sparkling along +at the bottom of the garden. A small but very beautiful pleasure-ground +divided it from the forest, which stretched far away behind for many +miles; whilst in the front it commanded a view over the village of +Emmerton, with its scattered dwellings and its gray church-tower, and +the distant country beyond. The interior of the cottage consisted of +a drawing-room, with windows opening upon the lawn, a small study, a +dining-room which looked out on the most retired part of the garden, and +several bedrooms; and it was here that Amy Herbert passed the earliest +and the happiest portion of her life: and though to some it might +have seemed that her pleasures could have been but few, as she had no +companions of her own age, not many servants to wait upon her, and no +money to expend on whatever might be the fancy of the moment, yet it may +be doubted whether any of those who have been brought up in the midst of +luxury, have ever spent so happy a childhood as hers. For Amy lived in +her quiet home, with the mother who to her was all in all; and when she +sat by her side at work, or read to her aloud, or walked with her, or +listened to her sweet voice as she sang her favourite songs, she had not +a wish for anything else that the world could give. In the summer, +Amy's mornings were employed in learning from her mother all that was +considered necessary for the education of a lady; for Mrs Herbert, +besides possessing a well-cultivated mind, understood both music and +drawing, and spared neither time nor trouble in endeavouring to give her +child a taste for the same pursuits. The afternoons were often spent in +an arbour, shut out from the view of every passer-by, where Amy read to +her mother the books which most interested her; and in the evening she +generally walked with her into the village, either to inquire after some +of their poor neighbours, or to pay a visit to the rectory, where the +affection with which she was received was always a source of enjoyment, +though there were no children to be her play-fellows. Occasionally, +also, Amy would persuade her mother to wander with her into the forest, +and there, leaving her seated on the trunk of some old tree, with her +book or her work, she would search amongst the thick underwood for wild +flowers or wood strawberries, and return to her, triumphantly laden, +as she said, with spoils: and when the falling dews and the gathering +twilight told that it was the hour of rest. Amy, kneeling in her +chamber, repeated her evening prayers, and, after receiving her mother's +last fond kiss and her fervent blessing, laid her head upon her pillow, +to dream of the joys of the past day, and the interests of the coming +morrow. + +The winter also brought its delights: the warm fire-side in the morning, +and the quick walk in the middle of the day, when the sun was shining +and the earth glittering with the frost, and the tales of days and +people long gone by, with which Mrs Herbert would amuse her little girl +in the dusky twilight; whilst in the evening came the bright lamp and +the hissing urn, to make them forget that there was anything like cold +or discomfort to be endured without. And so Amy's childhood passed +tranquilly on; not that it was entirely free from interruptions +and disappointments, or that she was always able to follow her own +inclinations; for there were gloomy days and causes of vexation, and +she had faults which, at times, interfered with her happiness; but +her annoyances were soon over, and whenever she gave way to any +evil feelings, either of ill temper, indolence, or carelessness, the +sorrowful expression of her mother's countenance, and the grave tone of +her voice, never failed to recall her quickly to a better mind. + +There were, besides, other pleasures to vary the regularity of Amy's +life; a drive in the rector's carriage to the neighbouring town, or an +invitation to drink tea at the parsonage, or, what she most delighted +in, a long walk with her mother, to wander over a large old house, which +was about two miles distant from the cottage, and situated on the same +side of the forest, though in a different direction from the village. +Emmerton Hall was indeed a most interesting place; the house--the work +of ages passed away--was of gray stone, deeply stained by exposure to +the severity of many a wintry storm. It was a large, irregular +building, with high gable ends, deep oriel windows, turrets with pointed +pinnacles, and heavy, clustering chimneys nearly hidden by masses of +the rich, dark ivy which covered a great proportion of the walls. The +principal front consisted of the original three-gabled house and two +projecting wings which had been added at a later period, and along its +whole length extended a broad gravel terrace, divided from the other +part of the grounds by a stone balustrade, and ornamented at regular +intervals with large Italian vases. From this terrace a flight of steps +at each end descended to the pleasure-garden, which was laid out in +green lawns, and shrubberies, and winding walks, and bounded by a clear +sheet of water flowing through the whole of the demesne. On the other +side of the water stretched a richly-wooded park that had once formed a +portion of the forest, whilst from the terrace might be seen beyond this +a wide expanse of lovely country,--corn-fields, meadows, villages, +and churches, blended together in the soft mists of the distance, and +terminated by the faint shadow which marked the outline of one of the +highest ranges of hills in all England. + +To the right of the house the ground rose abruptly in a hill of +considerable height, the sides of which had been partly formed into +smooth grassy terraces, and partly planted with beech, ash, elm, and oak +trees, and amongst these many walks were cut, ascending gradually to +the top, and opening at length upon a line of down, from whence might be +discovered a view so extensive as to reach even to the glittering waves +of the ocean. + +At the back and to the left of the mansion, the grounds were of great +extent, and still beyond them lay the park, carrying the eye into deep +hollows and sunny glades, till its furthest trees were lost amongst the +rich foliage of the adjacent forest. + +Such was the exterior of Emmerton Hall, and the interior suited well +with it in beauty. The oldest part of the building consisted, indeed, +of long, low chambers, wainscoted with dark oak, and giving an idea of +solemnity, if not of gloom; but the wings, which were of a later date, +contained spacious saloons, and large lofty drawing-rooms hung with +paintings, and rich in splendid though old-fashioned, furniture, that +would have done honour to the palace of the proudest noble in the land. +It was not amongst these, however, that Amy Herbert found her chief +enjoyment,--she cared little for the more modern additions; but her +great pleasure was to wander through the long passages, and explore the +dark rooms which had for years been disused, while the silent mansion +echoed with the gay sounds of her young voice, as she discovered +some hitherto unknown closet, or started back half amused, and half +frightened, at the grim visage of some valiant knight or ancient lady +which stared at her from the walls. + +There was a chapel, too, attached to the house; and great was Amy's +delight to look down from the private gallery that had been specially +reserved for the ladies of the family, upon the massive oaken seats +ranged on each side of the narrow aisle, and while the rays of the sun, +streaming through the painted glass of the east window, lighted up every +corner of the building with a rich, unearthly hue, to people them in her +own imagination with the servants and retainers, who, she had been told, +once occupied them daily. + +For the first few years of her life, Amy's visits to Emmerton Hall had +been those of unmixed happiness; but as she grew older, and learned +to feel more and more that no joy was complete unless her mother could +share it with her, she began to perceive that, however willingly Mrs +Herbert might grant her petition to visit the old house, and however +patiently she might wait whilst she satisfied all her childish +curiosity, yet, at their return home, there was always a look of sorrow +on her countenance, and sometimes even a tear glistening in her eye; and +the cause of this she was soon able to understand, for Emmerton had been +to Mrs Herbert all that the little cottage was to Amy. It had been the +scene of her earliest pleasures--the home of her childhood--the spot +where she had dwelt with parents, brothers, sisters, and friends, who +were now, some dead, some scattered in distant countries, and all so far +from her as to make her feel lonely and sad in the halls where once +she had known little but enjoyment. But it was not till Amy had nearly +reached her twelfth year that she became aware of the increasing extent +of the painful feelings excited in her mother's mind by these visits to +the Hall. During the first year of her marriage, Mrs Herbert had lived +at the cottage, but her family were still settled at Emmerton, and the +separation was merely nominal. After that time, the death of her father +and mother broke, in a great degree, the ties which had bound her to her +early home; for her brother, on whom the property devolved, had married +a lady, whose proud disposition suited but ill with Mrs Herbert's meek +spirit; and when, on the death of a relation, Mr Harrington became the +owner of a still finer estate in another county, Emmerton was almost +deserted. It was true he returned to it occasionally, but his visits +were less and less frequent; and, although the steward and housekeeper +were ordered to keep it in complete repair, it was only as a place for +show, and because his pride would not permit him to sell or let an old +family residence. + +All this was a great trial for Mrs Herbert, though, whilst Colonel +Herbert was with her, it was comparatively but little felt; but the +duties of his profession at last called him to a foreign land, and it +was then that she first knew the real loneliness of her situation, the +only alleviation being the society of her friends at the parsonage, and +the delight of receiving constant and cheerful letters from abroad. At +the period, however, just mentioned, when Amy was about twelve years of +age, the time appointed for Colonel Herbert's absence had expired; but +no news had been received from him for a considerable time. Post after +post arrived without letters from him. Friends came back from the +country to which he had been sent, but none brought intelligence of +him. Mrs Herbert's heart sank within her, the most sad forebodings took +possession of her mind, and even the company of Amy often served only +to increase her melancholy, as it reminded her more forcibly of the +probable failure of those visions of future happiness, in which she had +indulged when dwelling upon the prospect of her husband's return to his +native land, to spend the remainder of his days with her and with his +child. + +Continued anxiety at length seriously affected Mrs Herbert's health; and +even Amy, young as she was, became sensible of it, and learned to look +eagerly for the daily post, in hopes that it might bring some letter +which would make her mother smile again as she had been used to do, +while she seldom expressed a wish to go to Emmerton, since it only added +to Mrs Herbert's depression, by reminding her of the absence of her +relations as well as of that of her husband. Still Amy did not fully +enter into the causes of her mother's uneasiness; and when she stationed +herself at the white garden-gate every morning to watch for the old +postman, it was with a feeling of expectation very different from the +nervous eagerness with which Mrs Herbert longed for his arrival. + + +"Here he is, mamma!" she exclaimed, joyously, as she ran to the +drawing-room window one lovely summer morning, after having waited +unusually long at the gate. "Here he is! just turning the corner of the +lane. Do let me go and meet him; I shall bring the letters much quicker +than he will, and there must be one from papa to-day." + +Mrs Herbert half smiled as she kissed her child's forehead, and parted +her dark ringlets. "You may go, love," she said; and Amy waited to hear +no more. In a minute she was at the end of the lane, entreating the old +postman to give her the letters; but he was both deaf and obstinate, +and resolved that no one should have the honour of delivering them but +himself; and Amy, after repeatedly urging her request in vain, returned +disappointed to her mother. The delay had but increased Mrs Herbert's +painful anxiety; and when the man appeared with the letter--for there +was but one--she felt as if she had scarcely the power to take it from +him. + +"It is from papa, I am sure," said Amy; but Mrs Herbert shook her head, +and her face became very pale as she saw the deep black edge. With a +trembling hand she tore open the letter; and Amy, seeing that something +unusual was the matter, looked earnestly in her face while she read. +For a moment her mother's countenance wore the appearance of intense +anguish, but it was soon succeeded by an expression of comparative +relief; and when she had concluded, although she was grave and +melancholy, it was evident that the news had not been what she so much +dreaded. + +"Is it from papa?" asked Amy; "and is he quite well, and coming home +soon?" + +"It is from your uncle Harrington, my dear," said Mrs Herbert: "he gives +me no information about your papa, and he writes in great distress." + +"Why, why, mamma!" exclaimed Amy, eagerly; "does it make you unhappy +too?" + +"Yes," said Mrs Herbert; "I must always be sad when I know that your +uncle is in affliction. You have lost your cousin Edward, Amy; he has +died quite suddenly, and," but here Mrs Herbert paused, for her voice +failed her. Amy endeavoured to comfort her; but it was not in her power +to stop the course of her mother's grief, and for a few minutes she +gave way to it without restraint; and then rousing herself, she said, "I +ought to be thankful that I have been spared a still greater trial; for, +though I can feel bitterly for my poor brother, it would have been far +worse if I had known Edward well; and one thing, Amy, which will give +you pleasure in the midst of all this sorrow is, that your uncle tells +me he intends coming to Emmerton immediately; and he begs me to go +there, and give orders for everything being prepared for them." + +"To Emmerton, mamma!" exclaimed Amy, with delight, forgetting what had +given rise to this sudden plan. "Will they really come to Emmerton--my +uncle, and aunt, and all my cousins? Oh! you will look happy again, +then." + +"I will try to do so, at least," said Mrs Herbert; "for it is only +selfishness to destroy your happiness, my dear child, by anxiety, +which you cannot understand. But, indeed, you must not expect any great +enjoyment at first; for your uncle's letter speaks of himself and all +the family as being in the greatest distress." + +"Ah! but," said Amy, "when they come to Emmerton, they must be cheerful. +To be sure," she added, looking suddenly grave, "it is very sad to think +that Edward will not be with them; but then, mamma, I dare say he is +gone to heaven, so why should they be so very sorry?" + +"Should not you be very sorry to part from me, Amy, if I were to die? +and yet I trust that when it shall please God that I should do so. He +will take me to heaven." + +"Oh mamma! don't talk so," said Amy, her eyes filling with tears; "you +know I should be so miserable. I should die too." + +"No, my love," replied Mrs Herbert, "I hope you would not die; for you +may always be happy whether I am with you or not, when you have God to +watch over you; but I wished to show you that you must not expect +other people to be less sorrowful than you would be yourself in such a +situation. Your cousins will, of course, be unhappy when they first come +to Emmerton." + +"But when will it be?" asked Amy. + +"Not till the week after next," answered Mrs Herbert; "for the house +must be made ready for them." + +"Oh! such a long, long time!" sighed Amy. "There are five days to the +end of this week; and then will they come on the Monday week after?" + +"They have not fixed the day, my dear, so you will try and wait +patiently, I know," said Mrs Herbert; "and now you must get your lessons +and read by yourself this morning, for I wish to be alone in my own +room." + +This was not pleasant news to Amy, but she made no objection, and with +her book in her hand seated herself at the window. It was a harder +task to learn on that morning than she had ever before found it; for, +notwithstanding all her endeavours, some thoughts of Emmerton would +creep into her mind perpetually. First she fancied what rooms her +cousins would choose; then whether they would like the same that she +did; whether any of the old dark chambers would be used; and, above all, +whether her uncle would have prayers in the chapel every morning, and +fill it with his servants, so that she might really see it as she had +been told it used to be. + +The very loveliness of the day only served to increase her distraction +of mind. The sunlight was glancing on the turf, the butterflies were +settling continually on the flowers by the window, and the birds were +singing gaily amongst the trees; and delightful as all this really was, +it only made Amy feel the stronger wish to be at that moment running +over the lawns at Emmerton, or standing by the side of the lake, +watching the swans and the other water-fowl as they sailed proudly along +on the bosom of the calm water. + +"I shall never learn these tiresome lessons, mamma," she exclaimed, as +Mrs Herbert entered the room, after an absence of about a quarter of an +hour. + +"And why not, my love? why should it be more difficult now than at any +other time?" + +"Because I am so longing to be at Emmerton, mamma, and I cannot fix +my attention on them. Please let me leave off now, and I will learn a +double quantity to-morrow." + +"No, Amy; that is a great mistake. To-morrow will have enough to do in +its own occupations, without burdening it with those of to-day. Besides, +my dear, this is just the opportunity for learning to do in a little +way what will be required of you perpetually during your whole life--to +conquer your own inclinations; you will be infinitely the happier for it +afterwards." + +Amy looked as if she could not quite believe this, but she did not speak +in reply. + +"You will endeavour, I am sure, my dear child," continued Mrs Herbert, +"if it is only to please me; you know my greatest wish is to teach you +to do what is right, without thinking of what is pleasant; so make +one more effort, and turn your face from the window, that you may have +nothing to divide your thoughts, and then the lessons will soon be +learned." + +Mrs Herbert left the room; and Amy, obeying her directions, seated +herself with her back to the window, making a firm resolution in her +own mind that she would not look up from her book till her lessons were +ready; and when her mother reappeared, they were repeated without a +fault. Mrs Herbert's smile sufficiently repaid her for the exertion, and +with renewed pleasure she continued her usual morning occupations. + +"And now, mamma," she exclaimed, as she finished her reading, "I may +think about Emmerton. Will you tell me if you are really going there +this afternoon?" + +"We will set off immediately after dinner," replied Mrs Herbert; "and as +I cannot walk so far, I have sent to the parsonage to borrow Mr Walton's +carriage." + +"Shall you stay all the afternoon, mamma? and will you let me hear all +you say to Mrs Bridget and Stephen?" + +"I am afraid that will not interest you much, my dear," replied Mrs +Herbert, smiling; "but you deserve to have your wishes granted, to +reward you for your endeavours this morning. Was I not right in saying +that you would be far happier if you attended to your lessons first, and +thought of your amusements afterwards?" + +"Ah! mamma," said Amy, "you know you are always right, and I am always +wrong; but then it does not signify so much while you are with me to +teach me." + +Mrs Herbert sighed. "You must not look to me, my dear child: I cannot +keep you right. It is God alone who can do that, and He only knows how +long I may live to tell you what you ought to do. But do not look so +grave now, I did not mean to make you unhappy. You must get your bonnet +and take one turn with me in the shady walk, and by that time dinner +will be ready." + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +That afternoon was one of perfect enjoyment to Amy. The drive in the +rector's carriage was an unusual treat, and the road through the forest +had never before seemed so beautiful; the light danced amongst the +trees, and sparkled on the gay primroses and harebells, and the deep +blue violets, which peeped from amongst the thick underwood. The rich +moss which covered the trunks of the old oak trees, was of a hue so +bright as to be surpassed only by the vivid green of the young leaves, +which had reached their full beauty, undimmed as yet by the scorching +rays of the summer's sun; and when at length they reached the park gate +of Emmerton, and drove under the long rows of oak and chestnuts, and by +the side of the clear silver lake, Amy's delight was unbounded. Several +months had passed since she had last been there, and the beauty of the +place was now increased by the thought that she should soon be able to +visit it constantly, and might, perhaps, at times, spend days, and even +weeks there with her cousins. + +"Dear, dear mamma!" she exclaimed, as she jumped up in the carriage +to look at the lake, "do you think my uncle can be unhappy while he is +here?" + +"Why should he not be, my love?" asked Mrs Herbert. + +"Oh! because it is so beautiful, mamma," said Amy; "and it is all his +own, and he may go where he pleases, and do what he pleases, and you say +he has plenty of money: I am sure if I were he, I should have nothing to +wish for. If I lived at Emmerton, nothing could ever happen to vex me, +except," she added, looking grave, as she saw a tear in her mother's +eye, "except if anything were the matter with you: but here comes +Stephen down the avenue. I wonder what he will say when he hears that my +uncle is coming back?" + +The steward approached the carriage as Amy spoke; he was a tall, hearty +man, of about seventy, with a step as firm, and a back as unbent, as +if he had numbered thirty years less. His features were very strongly +marked, and expressive of great intelligence, and might even have been +called handsome, though his complexion was completely tanned by age, +and many years' exposure to the variations of the weather. There was a +bright, happy look in his clear, gray eye, and a smile about his mouth, +and yet a person who had watched him narrowly might have seen the trace +of care on his brow; but it seemed as if it had only recently been +acquired, as if joyousness were the natural inmate of his breast, and +melancholy only its occasional visitant: and so, indeed, it was. Stephen +Browning had entered the service of Mrs Herbert's father when quite a +lad, and had risen from being a mere stable-boy to the higher offices +of groom and coachman; he had been the instructor of the young ladies +of the family in horsemanship, and of the young gentlemen in all their +boyish sports, and considered himself--and was indeed considered by +many others--as the most important personage about Emmerton Hall, always +excepting Mr Harrington. + +During this period, his life had been a very happy one; and the pride +with which he watched the children as they grew up was scarcely inferior +to that of their parents. Even the death of old Mr Harrington did not in +any serious degree disturb his peace of mind, after the first shock was +over; for death, as he said, was the lot of all men, and 'twas no use +to grieve for him who was gone to happiness; and so Stephen consoled +himself for his loss, and still looked with delight upon the scenes he +had known from his childhood, and interested himself as much in the new +generation that had sprung up, as he had done in those who had long +been beyond his instruction. But a most bitter trial awaited him in the +removal of the family from Emmerton, and it was one for which he was +totally unprepared; the first intelligence was so astounding, that it +was some time before he could be induced to believe it; and when at last +the truth forced itself upon his mind, he sank into a state of listless +indifference, which was for a time in no slight degree alarming. He did, +however, recover from it; and at Mr Harrington's request consented +to remain at the Hall, and to take charge of it as steward; but his +occupations, his enjoyments, all seemed gone, and his only remaining +pleasure was to visit the cottage, and talk over the old days with Mrs +Herbert, and tell Amy stories of the feats of her uncles and aunts in +horsemanship, long before, as he said, she was ever thought of. For Mrs +Bridget, the housekeeper, who had only lived about twelve years in the +family, Stephen had an especial contempt. She was quite a new body, and +'twas no good talking to her; she could not remember the good old times +when the master was a young gentleman, and used to ride about the park +on his Shetland pony, and learn to play at cricket and leap-frog; and +then she dressed herself out smart, with gay ribands and silks, not +befitting the housekeeper of Emmerton Hall, who ought to keep to the +ancient fashion; and she would have young idle lads and lassies about +the place, which was never known in his days, when everything was kept +strict and in order; and, above all, she would never admit him and his +pipe into the house, but turned away when she saw it, as if she was too +fine a lady to bear what he knew she must have seen a hundred times in +her father's farm kitchen. Mrs Bridget, on her part, quite returned the +feeling; and though she acknowledged that Stephen might be very honest +and trustworthy, and she would not for the world say a word against any +one, yet she could not help hinting occasionally that he was growing +old, and would be better by his own fireside than attempting to give +directions which he could know nothing about; and certainly the air +with which she was accustomed to turn her back upon him, and tell him, +whenever he approached with his pipe, not to come near her with that +thing in his mouth, would have been quite sufficient to deter a less +adventurous person than Stephen from making a second attempt. + +The steward's loud exclamation of "Sure, 'tis young madam and little +miss!" was heard when he was still at some distance from the carriage, +and he turned immediately to the house with the quickest step which his +age and gouty foot would allow, that he might be ready to receive them. + +"Well, 'tis a strange sight, to be sure," he said, as he lifted Amy +from the carriage. "I thought Emmerton was never going to see any of +you again; and I have said to myself fifty times within the last month, +that, for certain, young madam couldn't have forgotten me, and my pretty +little miss, too, who used to be here so often." + +"Ah, but Stephen," said Amy, "poor mamma cannot walk so far as she did, +and you know we have only the rector's carriage; but why don't you come +to see us?" + +"The gout, the gout, Miss Amy, that's what keeps me; in the old days, I +could almost have run there and back in less than the hour, but 'tis all +changed--house, and garden, and servants, 'tis all alike--and little +it signifies what comes to me. But, madam," he added, turning to Mrs +Herbert, "you'll be for walking in and resting yourself, and Mrs Bridget +will attend upon you; she won't let me put foot within doors, if she can +help it, since I last threw some tobacco on her new gown, which was more +loss to me than to her, seeing 'twas all I had, and there was nobody to +send to get some more." + +"I want to talk to you first, Stephen, for a few minutes," said Mrs +Herbert. + +"Ah sure, ma'am," replied Stephen, "and 'twill do me good to listen; for +there's no one here to whom one can talk that will understand, seeing +they are all new,--all new;" and the old man's sigh almost amounted to a +groan. + +"I have had a letter from your master to-day, Stephen," said Mrs +Herbert, fearing to impart too suddenly the death of his young +favourite, Edward. + +"Have you, ma'am? and does he say he's well, and the young gentlemen and +ladies? 'tis the best I can hope to hear now." + +"He does not write in good spirits, Stephen; he has been suffering a +great deal lately." + +"Sure, ma'am, that's bad news; but what could any one expect but to be +ill, away from one's own place, and all the air that's natural to one?" + +"Your master has not been ill himself, Stephen; but one of his +children." + +"Not master Edward!" exclaimed the old man, taking alarm from Mrs +Herbert's countenance. No answer was given for a moment, and Stephen +turned to Amy for an explanation. "'Tis not master Edward; it can't be. +O Miss Amy! just speak." + +"I will tell you, Stephen," said Mrs Herbert, recovering her composure. +"It will grieve you very much; but it is indeed poor Edward, who was +taken ill about a week since, and is now, I trust, gone to a happier +world." + +The poor old steward's bronzed complexion became of an unnatural sallow +hue, and he leaned against the stone porch for support; but it seemed as +if the power of utterance were taken from him. + +"Run into the house and fetch a glass of water, Amy," said Mrs Herbert; +and Amy, in extreme alarm, flew to obey her mother's order. + +In a few moments she returned, followed by Mrs Bridget, a gaily-dressed, +sharp-visaged person of about forty, who forgot the last grievous +offence against her new gown when she heard Amy's frightened +exclamation, that dear old Stephen was so ill she thought he must be +dying. By this time, however, the colour had returned to his cheek, +and he was able to inquire more calmly the particulars of his young +favourite's illness. They were few, but very painful; for the disease, +which was inflammation of the lungs, brought on by a neglected cold, had +made most rapid progress, and he died about two days after he had first +been considered seriously ill. "But," said Mrs Herbert, after she had +answered the old man's various questions, "I have not told you yet, +Stephen, the only thing which I think is likely now to give you +pleasure: my brother talks of returning to Emmerton again to live." + +"To live, ma'am!" exclaimed Stephen, starting back; "but it can't be +true. When the carriage drove away from this very place, now ten years +ago, I said to myself they were gone for ever; and so it has proved. +'Tis but a false hope, ma'am. The master will change his mind when he +begins to forget his grief." + +"Ah, but Stephen," said Amy, taking his hand affectionately, "it is not +a false hope, though; for mamma heard all about it this morning, and +she has come now to tell you and Bridget to get the things in order, and +they are to be here the week after next. Think of that, Stephen. Won't +that make you happy?" + +"Poor master Edward! poor master Edward!" sighed the old steward; +"'twould have been a joyful day, indeed, if he had been coming too. To +have looked upon his young face again would have added ten years to my +life; but God's will be done!" + +"But, Stephen," said Amy, half disappointed, "you are not as much +pleased as I thought you would be." + +"Ah, little Miss," replied Stephen, as he patted her shoulder, "you are +too young to know anything about sorrow; but I shall be glad by and by, +when I can think that it is true." + +"Indeed, indeed, it is true," repeated Amy; "and mamma knows it." + +"Amy is right, Stephen," said Mrs Herbert. "My brother writes me word +that Wayland Court is now become so melancholy to him, that he cannot +bear to live there, and he intends being at Emmerton as soon as the +necessary arrangements can be made." + +"God be thanked for it!" exclaimed Stephen, clasping his hands together; +"and I shall go to my grave in peace, for the old times will be come +back again. But no, they won't, though," he added, whilst a bitter +recollection flashed upon his mind. "He will never be here again:" and +he brushed his hand across his eye to wipe away the tear which glistened +in it. + +Mrs Bridget, half annoyed that Mrs Herbert should have chosen to +communicate so important a piece of intelligence to Stephen rather than +to herself, now came forward, and in a formal manner, and with a voice +which told there was a storm within, said, "I suppose, madam, my master +and mistress will communicate with me before they arrive?" + +"I believe not, Bridget," replied Mrs Herbert; "they are in too much +distress to think about anything now; but they have left it all to me, +and I was wishing to ask you what would be wanting." + +"Nothing, ma'am," said Bridget, drawing up her head rather proudly, +"nothing at all. Though I say it that shouldn't say it, the house is +just in as perfect order now as it was when my master went away. But I +should like to know if my mistress would choose to have the coverings +taken off the furniture in the great drawing-room; and there have been +a few breakages in the bedrooms; and Stephen tells me there is a pane +of glass out of the conservatory; and the fringe of the curtains in the +saloon was torn yesterday by the girl who was here cleaning the rooms, I +scolded her well for it, and she is coming again to-morrow to mend it." + +"Well," said Mrs Herbert, stopping her, "all these things you can quite +well manage yourself, they are but trifles. You had better get all the +rooms in order, for I do not at all know which they will choose." + +"And the chapel, mamma," said Amy, "won't Bridget have the chapel +cleaned? When I was last in it, there was such a heap of dust on the old +monument near the door." + +Bridget looked annoyed. "The chapel is not my department, Miss Amy; +it was given in particular charge to Stephen's niece by Mrs Harrington +herself; but she is an idle trolloping girl, and always neglects. +Stephen," she added, turning to the old man, who appeared quite absorbed +in his own thoughts,--"Stephen, Miss Amy declares the chapel is dusty." + +The steward started up like a man awakened from a dream; and catching +only the meaning of the last word of the sentence, exclaimed--"Dusty! +and whose fault is that, pray?" + +"Whose, but that fine lady's your niece?" said Bridget, giving way to an +irritation of temper which she did not dare to exhibit to Mrs Herbert, +and delighted at having something to find fault with. "She is so busy +all day with her flounces and her furbelows, that she has no time to +think of her work." + +Stephen, now fully alive to everything, looked steadily at Mrs Bridget +as she said this; and then scanning her from head to foot with a half +contemptuous smile, muttered--"Not so very different from other people," +and walked away, though it was only a few paces, for his angry feelings +were very soon subdued. + +"I should like to go over the house, Bridget," said Mrs Herbert; "and +after that, perhaps, you will get us some tea; for the evening is so +fine we need not return home till late." + +"Dear mamma," said Amy, "may we have it in your own room? I should so +enjoy it! you know I like it better than any in the whole house." + +Mrs Herbert made no objection; for although there were many melancholy +ideas connected with this room, yet she felt like Amy, that to her it +had more charms than any other. + +It was in nearly the oldest part of the house, and had been occupied +by herself and her favourite sister from the time when she was about +fifteen, and was considered old enough to leave the schoolroom, and yet +too young to go into society. Her mother had fitted it up for them with +everything that could be required for their enjoyment; and here they had +been accustomed to spend their mornings together free from interruption, +for it was so far removed from the more modern buildings that even the +sounds of the visitors' carriages could scarcely reach them. The deep +oriel window looked out on the quietest and loveliest part of the +pleasure-ground; and a private door opening upon it, afforded them a +free and unobserved access to the garden; and many were the hours which +Mrs Herbert had spent with her sister Edith, reading together under +the shade of the large elm trees, with not a thought or wish beyond the +enjoyment of the present moment. + +The room was now deserted. The piano was still in its accustomed place, +but its rich, full tone had become wiry and harsh by time. The table was +still standing by the window, but its clear polish had a cold, repulsive +appearance. There were no books, no work, no flowers. The chairs were +ranged in regular order against the empty bookshelves; the gay colours +of the curtains and ottomans were faded; and, instead of the bright +smile and the merry laugh which had once greeted Mrs Herbert, there was +nothing now to tell of the companion of her childhood but the picture +which hung over the fire-place. + +But Mrs Herbert did not complain: she had early left a home of happiness +for one which was even more delightful to her; and her sister, who had +married likewise, was still in the possession of health and prosperity. +She had, therefore, much cause for thankfulness; and yet she never +entered this room and recollected the pleasures of her youth, without +a pang, which became the more painful when her husband's long-continued +absence gave her so great a cause of anxiety. + +Amy's associations with what had generally been called the oriel room +were of a more cheerful character. She had never known it different +from what it now was; and to her it only brought the remembrance of many +happy hours spent there with her mother, in their occasional visits to +Emmerton, and particularly of various incidents in Mrs Herbert's +early life, which were almost sure to be recalled by some object or +circumstance connected with it. With a secret hope that something of +this kind would complete the pleasures of the day, she now followed +her mother through the silent, deserted chambers, while directions were +given for everything which might render them more comfortable; but at +last, wearied with listening, she left Mrs Herbert's side, and wandered +by herself into the pleasure-ground, till she became so tired that she +was glad to find her way back to the oriel room, where Mrs Bridget, +whose great favourite she was (and it was the only point on which +Bridget and Stephen agreed), had prepared the tea, and spread the table +with fresh fruit and cakes. This was not, to Amy, at all an unpleasing +sight; and when Mrs Herbert came in, she felt quite inclined to begin +her evening meal; but they had scarcely seated themselves when Amy +started back, exclaiming, "Oh mamma! pray look there. Did you ever see +such a wretched little object?" + +Mrs Herbert turned to the window, and saw a miserable girl, with a pale, +haggard countenance and covered with rags, holding out her hand and +begging for charity. + +"Dear mamma! do give her something," said Amy; "she looks so dreadfully +hungry." + +"I will ask her a few questions first," replied Mrs Herbert, "and find +out where she comes from, and then we shall know what is best to be done +for her. I suppose she found her way into the pleasure-ground through +the back lane and the kitchen-garden." + +Mrs Herbert opened the window; and, beckoning to the girl to approach, +made several inquiries as to her parents, her home, and her present +necessities. She seemed sadly frightened; but answered without +hesitation, that her father, who was a common labourer, had lately died, +leaving a wife and six children, of whom she was the eldest. It was her +mother's wish to return to her parish, thinking she should be better +provided for there than amongst strangers. She had set out on the +journey; but, being taken very ill, she had been obliged to stop at a +village about a mile and a half distant, where she had spent all her +money, and now, being totally destitute, she had sent her child to beg +for some assistance. + +"What will you do for her, mamma?" whispered Amy. + +"I must know a little more about her before I decide," replied Mrs +Herbert. "Is there no one in the village," she added, speaking to the +girl, "who has helped your mother?" + +"The clergyman's lady has been very good to us, ma'am," was the reply; +"but the people of the house want mother to pay for the lodging, and she +has no money." + +"It is a sad case, if it be true," said Mrs Herbert; "but I will make +some inquiries to-morrow; and now you shall take home something for your +supper; and I will write to the lady who has been so kind to you, and, +if you have spoken the truth, she will give your mother something for +me." + +The girl curtsied, and seemed pleased and grateful; and Amy, whilst +her mother was writing a note, begged that she might take her round to +Bridget's room, and give her her supper before she returned home; and +when the girl had left the house with some bread and a bone of meat, Amy +went back to her own comfortable meal with a much higher sense of the +greatness of her daily blessings than she had had a quarter of an hour +before. + +The idea, however, of so much poverty and suffering in some degree +diminished her enjoyment, and she sat for a while thoughtful and silent. +At length, turning suddenly to Mrs Herbert, she exclaimed-- "Mamma, it +is very strange that some people are so poor and others so rich!" + +"It does seem so at first," replied Mrs Herbert; "and we can only +account for it by saying, that it is the will of God; that He alone +knows what is good for us all, and therefore He ordains different things +for different people; and though we consider poverty an evil, yet it +is often a very great good, and makes people think of Him and love Him, +when they would otherwise forget Him." + +"But there is such a great, great difference in people," said Amy; "that +poor woman has not a farthing, and my uncle Harrington has thousands +a-year, you have told me." + +"So he has," replied Mrs Herbert; "and yet, in a few years, they may +both, perhaps, be equally rich." + +"Oh mamma! how can that be possible?" exclaimed Amy. + +"It may be true to a certain extent, at this very moment, my dear. You +know what is meant by being an heir--having a right to certain property +or money, which is to be received at some future period. Now, it is more +than probable that your uncle with all his riches, and that poor woman +in the midst of her sufferings, have both the same expectations for the +future." + +"Not on earth, mamma!" observed Amy. + +"No, my love," replied Mrs Herbert; "but a person is not the less an +heir because he will not receive his inheritance until he is admitted to +heaven. I remember that I first learned to think upon this subject when +I was about two years younger than you are now." + +"Do tell me how, mamma!" exclaimed Amy, her eyes sparkling with delight: +"it must be one of your stories about the time when you were a little +girl." + +"It is not quite a story, Amy, and, at any rate, it is rather a grave +one; so, perhaps, we had better wait till you are quite in the humour." + +"Oh! but I am quite in the humour always, mamma; and I think I like +grave stories best. Will it be a long one?" + +"No," replied Mrs Herbert; "neither long nor amusing, and yet, perhaps, +it may interest you, as it may help to explain a subject on which you +have often heard me speak, and which it is very necessary you should +understand and think about. + +"The time I am going to tell you of was, as I mentioned just now, when +I was about ten years old and your uncle Harrington one-and-twenty. +Persons at that age are, you know, considered capable of taking care of +their property; and the day of their attaining it is very often marked +by great rejoicings, in the case of those who have the expectation of +a large inheritance. This was your uncle's situation, and great +preparations were made for several weeks before, that the event might be +properly celebrated. Invitations were sent to all our friends, who were +then very numerous, and many came from a distance to spend some +days with us. A dinner was to be given to the tenants and the school +children; there were to be fireworks let off from the terrace in the +evening, and a band of music was engaged for the occasion;--and all +this was to do honour to my brother. You may imagine how much I was +interested in it, and how very delightful I thought it must be to be in +his place. I do not think I ever longed for anything in my whole life +so much as I did for the arrival of this day. I could talk of nothing +else,--I could think of nothing else; and I am afraid I gave my +governess, Miss Harwood, very much trouble for a whole week, I was +so inattentive to my lessons. At length it came--the long-wished-for +twenty-ninth of June; and certainly it was as lovely a day as I could +possibly have desired. I remember waking very early, and jumping out +of my bed to look at the weather. The sky was of a deep rich blue, +with only a faint mist over the distance, foretelling the heat of the +noonday. From my window I could see far over the country, and everything +that I could distinctly view was my father's property. I called to my +sister Edith, and made her come to the window, to enjoy the perfect +beauty of the morning; and I can well recollect saying to her, with a +half-envious sigh, 'Should you not like to be Charles, and to think +that all this was to be your own?' Your aunt, Amy, was of a very sweet, +contented disposition, and she checked me for the wish, and said that +she was thankful for her brother's blessings, but she could hardly +desire them for herself,--she was afraid she should not make a good +use of them. We stood for some time together; but said very little, for +there was such a perfect stillness reigning around that it almost seemed +as if it would be wrong to break it. Presently, however, we heard +the sound of distant music; it came nearer and nearer, and we soon +recognised the sweet voices of the village children, who had been sent +to pay this first mark of respect to their young master. + +"I cannot describe how beautiful it sounded to me, though perhaps it +was only because I was in a state of such excitement, and so inclined +to find delight in everything; but I know that I listened to it with +breathless attention, and when I turned to look at Edith, there was a +tear in her eye, and I do not think that she, though so much calmer in +disposition, has ever forgotten, any more than myself, the tones of that +simple hymn." + +"But, mamma," interrupted Amy, "the children never sing so beautifully +now?" + +"I do not mean, my dear," replied Mrs Herbert, "that the music was +really so very much better than what I had usually heard, though I dare +say they had had a great deal of pains taken with them. But you will +find, as you grow older, that many things which are in themselves +common, will appear delightful to you if you are inclined to be +particularly happy; and so it was with me on that morning. Edith and +myself stayed so long at the window, even after the children's singing +was over, that we were only just dressed by the time the bell rang for +morning prayers, and when we entered the chapel, it was quite full. All +the servants of the family, with those of our numerous guests and a few +of my father's tenants, were ranged on the long oaken benches in the +aisle; the seats for the gentlemen were occupied by my father, my +brother, and their friends; and the ladies' gallery, in which we were, +was also crowded. I felt quite frightened when I went in, for many +of those present were strangers to me, having arrived late the night +before; but I took my place between Edith and Miss Harwood, and the +service began. It was read by my brother's tutor, a clergyman who +lived in the family; and when it was over, the party assembled in the +breakfast-room, but we were considered too young to join it, and we came +back to what was then the schoolroom--the very room in which we now are, +Amy--to be with Miss Harwood and the younger children till it should +be time for us to wait upon the poor people, who were to have a dinner +given them on the lawn, in front of the house. All that I could think of +was the grandeur of my brother's situation, and the pleasure of having +so many persons assembled to do honour to oneself. I could not fix my +attention to anything, but could only count the hours till two o'clock, +and run occasionally to the top of the great stair-case to look at what +was going on below, for preparations were making on a large scale +for the evening's entertainment; servants were constantly passing and +repassing, and I heard my brother's name repeated by almost every one. +At length Edith and I were told to go into the servants' hall, where +the school children were to meet, and to place them in order, that they +might walk regularly, two and two, to the ground where the dinner was +laid. This was to me most welcome news; for I was tired of being nearly +the only useless person in the midst of so much bustle, and we spent at +least a quarter of an hour endeavouring to make them understand which +were to go together, and how they were to behave, and distributing some +little coloured banners which we had amused ourselves with preparing for +the occasion; and when the great bell sounded, Edith and myself walked +before them to the ground. My father and his guests were assembled on +the terrace, and my brother stood by my father's side exactly in the +centre. The children and their parents, and the rest of the tenants, +were ranged at their several tables; and then, when the steward had +called for silence, they all rose, and my father spoke to them, in a +voice so clear that I think it must have been heard by every one. He +told them of the gratification it was to him to see them all before him, +and of the certainty he felt of their good-will towards him, with many +more expressions of the same kind; and then, taking my brother by the +hand, he led him forward to the edge of the terrace, and presented him +to them as his heir, and their future master, saying that he trusted he +would always prove himself their true friend; and that when he should +be laid in his grave, my brother might receive from them, and from their +children, the same marks of sincere attachment which they had always +shown to himself. + +"A general burst of applause followed this speech of my father's, and +the words 'Long live the young master!' were heard from every lip; even +the children joined in the cry; and when the excitement had a little +subsided, my brother also spoke. He was extremely frightened, and I +could not hear all that he said; but I was told afterwards that he +thanked them for their reception of him, and added that he hoped it +would be very long before he should be called on to act as their master; +but that, when that time should arrive, it would be his one earnest +endeavour to follow his father's footsteps. As he concluded, another +loud cheer was given by the tenants, and just as it was dying away I +heard a voice behind me say, in a deep, suppressed tone, 'May God in +heaven bless him! and may he one day be the possessor of a far richer +inheritance!' I was quite startled at the solemnity with which the words +were spoken, and I did not at the moment understand their meaning. They +seemed to be quite involuntary, and were certainly not intended to be +overheard; and I turned quickly to see who was near. I was standing +between the two tables, and on my right hand was a young man whose face +I did not at all recollect. He appeared about my brother's age; but +instead of Charles' healthy complexion and strong limbs, he looked +completely worn by disease. There was not the slightest tinge of colour +in his cheeks; his eyes were deep sunk in his head, and even his lips +were of an ashy paleness, and the hand by which he supported himself, +as he leant rather than stood against the table, was more like that of +a skeleton than of a living being; his clothes were neat and clean, +but showed marks of great poverty; and, in fact, I had seldom seen such +indications of extreme sickness and want." + +"Poor man!" exclaimed Amy; "was he really unhappy, mamma?" + +"No, my love," replied Mrs Herbert. "I was just going to tell you that, +notwithstanding all these symptoms of suffering, he looked perfectly +contented, and there was even a smile upon his face. I watched him as he +seated himself after the speeches were ended, and saw that he was quite +exhausted; he ate little or nothing; and, before the dinner was over, +he was obliged to leave the ground, assisted by an elderly woman, whom +I knew very well, and who was in very distressed circumstances. I could +not help thinking, as he slowly walked away, of the vast difference +there was between him and my brother in everything; and the same +question arose in my mind which you asked me just now, Amy, 'Why God +should make some people rich and others poor?' but there was no one near +me then to answer it. The remainder of the afternoon was spent by us +in setting the village children to play, and resting ourselves in the +schoolroom. And when the heat of the day began to lessen, and we knew +that the company were at dinner, Miss Harwood proposed that we should go +to the top of the hill at the side of the house, which was our favourite +walk, where we should probably see a magnificent sunset, and return in +time to be dressed for the drawing-room. + +"I was so restless, that it was a great relief to have some occupation +found for me, and I enjoyed the thought of the cool evening air after +the fatigue and sultriness of the morning; and I determined also that +I would, if I could manage it, get Miss Harwood alone, and ask her to +explain what had so puzzled me, and find out from her who the poor man +was who had left the table, for his face seemed constantly before me, +with its expression of great suffering, and yet of quiet happiness. +Edith and I set out together; but I soon left her with the others, +searching for wild flowers, and joined Miss Harwood. We easily +outstripped them, and reached the top of the hill long before they had +half filled their baskets. Miss Harwood always noticed any change in us, +and she asked me why I was so fond of getting away from the rest, and +whether I should not be much happier with them than with her. I had no +concealment from her any more than you have from me, Amy, and I told her +directly what I wanted to ask her, and how I had wondered to see that +poor man apparently so destitute when my brother had everything that the +world could give him. She gave me very much the same answer that I have +given you, that it was the will of God, and that He knew what was good +for us, and often sent us sufferings to teach us to think of Him; and +then she added that she knew the poor man well, and had been present +when he and my brother had both been declared heirs of a far richer +inheritance than any that my father had to bestow. I felt surprised; +and the exclamation I had heard in the morning, and which before I had +scarcely thought of, flashed upon my memory. I supposed Miss Harwood's +words must have some allusion to it, though I could not understand how; +and I eagerly asked why the poor man did not obtain any benefit from his +inheritance. 'He does obtain a great benefit from it at this moment,' +replied Miss Harwood, almost sadly; 'and I do not doubt that, in a very +short time, he will be admitted to possess at least a portion of it.' +You may imagine how desirous I was of having this mystery explained; but +when I looked at Miss Harwood, I saw that she was thinking of something +very serious, and a sudden notion of her meaning came into my mind. 'You +mean an inheritance in heaven?' I said, half doubting whether I might +not be wrong. A smile of pleasure passed across Miss Harwood's face as +she answered, 'Yes, Ellen, you are quite right; and I will tell you what +I meant when I said that he was made an heir of heaven. It is now many +years ago, I was staying at Emmerton, soon after your brother's birth, +and long before I thought of ever being a governess. On the day on which +he was baptized I went with your father, and several of his friends, +to the village church. I stood at the font with the godfathers and +his godmother (who, you know, are called sponsors), and I heard the +clergyman ask them some very solemn questions, which they were required +to answer in your brother's name. He then took him in his arms, +sprinkled him with water in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and +of the Holy Ghost, and marked on his forehead the sign of the cross; +and, giving him back to his nurse, he declared him to be one of that +society or set of persons who form what is called the Church, and to +whom God has promised His kingdom. From that moment,' continued Miss +Harwood, 'your brother was made a Christian and an heir of glory, such +as we cannot imagine; the sins of his original evil nature were forgiven +him, and a new spirit was implanted in him; and when I looked at him, as +he lay in his nurse's arms, I could not help thinking that it would be +happier for him if it were to please God to take him at once to Himself, +before he could by any sin of his own forfeit his innocence, and risk +the loss of his eternal inheritance. But,' she added, 'he was not the +only one who on that day received the promise of the kingdom of +heaven. Besides our own party, there stood by the font four of our poor +neighbours, some, indeed, of the poorest in the parish. One of them held +a sickly-looking infant, wrapped in a coarse kind of cloak; and when +Charles had been baptized, this child was given to the clergyman. The +same questions were asked, the same water was sprinkled upon him, the +same words were pronounced, the same sign was marked on his forehead, +and then he also was restored to his parents, a Christian, and an heir +of everlasting happiness. Notwithstanding the vast difference in their +outward circumstances, there was none in the eye of God; both had +received infinite blessings, both were engaged to keep the most solemn +promises.' + +"'Your brother, Ellen,' continued Miss Harwood, 'has grown up in the +midst of every earthly luxury, and has to-day been declared heir to a +splendid property: the other child was bred in poverty, and accustomed +to the severest privations. He was early obliged to leave his home, and +work for his livelihood amongst strangers; and now he has returned to +his mother, who is a widow, and nearly destitute, completely broken +in health, and with no prospect before him but that of a speedy death. +Which do you think is the more to be envied?' + +"I was silent, for I knew that I would far rather be my brother, the +possessor of health and riches, than a poor man in need of everything. +Do you think I was right, Amy?" + +"If the poor man went to heaven, mamma," said Amy, "I suppose he would +have everything there that he could desire." + +"Yes, my love," replied Mrs Herbert, "he would indeed; and yet, though I +knew this then as you do now, I could not easily forget all the respect +that I had seen shown to my brother that morning, and I did not like to +say anything that was not true. + +"Miss Harwood waited for a few moments, and then said, 'Look, Ellen, +at the park, and the woods beneath us, and the pretty little village +beyond--you know it is all your father's--is it not very lovely?' + +"'Yes!' I replied, surprised at the question. + +"'But now look farther,' said Miss Harwood; 'do you not see what a vast +extent of country there is on the other side, stretching away till it +reaches the sea? The owner of all that property would be a much greater +person than even your father.' + +"'Yes, indeed he would,' I said, as I turned in the direction to which +she pointed. + +"'But now, Ellen, look once more,' said Miss Harwood, 'over the sea into +the sky--look at that mass of brilliant purple and golden clouds, behind +which the sun is now sinking; do you not see, far away to the right, a +pale bright star?--it is the only one which has yet appeared; but in +a short time the whole firmament will be studded with millions and +millions like it. Each of those stars is, as you well know, a world; and +we may believe infinitely more perfect than ours. If it be a great thing +to be the child of one who owns so beautiful an estate as your father, +must it not be a far greater to be the child of Him who not merely owns, +but who created those glorious worlds?' + +"'But my brother,' I said, 'was made the child of God as well as that +poor man.' + +"'Yes,' replied Miss Harwood; 'and we may hope that when it shall be the +will of God that he should die, he also may inherit the blessing which +has been promised him, but his trial is yet to come: he may be tempted +to do wrong, and forget God, and he may, therefore, lose it; but that +poor man's trial will in all probability soon be over. I know that he +has endeavoured to keep the vow made for him at his baptism, and trusts +only to the merits of his Saviour for salvation, and therefore I have +but little fear for him; but I do feel for your brother, because I know +he is in the midst of great temptations.' + +"These words sounded very strangely to me,--it seemed as if Miss Harwood +were pitying Charles, instead of envying him, as I did; and I was going +to ask her some more questions, when Edith and my other sisters came +running towards us, telling us that they had gathered a most beautiful +nosegay, and wished now to return home. They began laughing at me +for running away from them; but they could not make me join in their +merriment, for I could only think of all that Miss Harwood had been +saying; and even when we reached the house, and were dressed for the +evening, I still remembered it. + +"The large saloon was lighted up when we entered, and there were a great +many people assembled, all gaily dressed, and walking up and down whilst +the band was playing. My brother was noticed by every one, and was +evidently considered the chief person, and I felt that I should have +been happy to be him; but then Miss Harwood's words recurred to my mind, +and I became thoughtful; for I knew that although he might be the heir +of earthly grandeur, yet that, if he were to do wrong, and lose the +promise of heaven, he must be miserable. We were not allowed to stay +very long, Amy, and therefore I cannot give you a great description of +the ball. I only remember how very tired I was when I went to bed, and +that my last thoughts were of my conversation with Miss Harwood, and of +my brother and the poor man." + +"Is that all, mamma?" said Amy. + +"Yes, my dear," replied Airs Herbert; "you know I told you it was not a +very interesting story." + +"I did not mean that, mamma," said Amy; "for I have liked it very much; +but I was thinking of the poor man. Did you never see him again?" + +"Only once," replied Mrs Herbert; "for he was too ill, after that +day, to leave his home. It was one afternoon when I had been with Miss +Harwood into the village; and, as we were returning, we passed his +cottage door; he was seated at it, supported by pillows, and looking +even worse than on the day of the fete. Miss Harwood had a basket of +fruit for him, and she stopped and talked to him for some little time. I +cannot tell you all that passed, Amy, for I did not entirely understand +it myself, and some of it was too solemn to be repeated again; but I +well remember the peaceful expression of the poor man's countenance, +and that he said he would not exchange his prospect of happiness for +anything earth could give; he also mentioned my brother, and seemed to +feel a great interest for him. But there was nothing like envy at what +appeared to me so much more desirable a lot: he looked, and indeed +he was, perfectly contented; and a few days after, I was told by Miss +Harwood that he was dead." + +"And what became of his mother?" asked Amy. + +"She is living still in the village, and in the same cottage; for +although it is almost a hovel, she cannot afford anything more +comfortable: and I hardly think she would change it if she could; for +she has often said to me, that it was there her husband and her +child died, and she should never love any place so well. But you have +frequently seen her, my dear; do you not remember the little thatched +cottage next the blacksmith's shop, and the old woman we often notice +spinning at the door?" + +"Oh yes," said Amy,--"old widow Watson; but she is very cheerful." + +"She has the same cause for cheerfulness that her son had," replied Mrs +Herbert. "But now, Amy, do you understand from my story why I said that +the mother of the poor little ragged girl we saw just now has probably +as great a prospect of future happiness as your uncle Harrington?" + +"Yes, mamma, if she has been baptized: but we are not sure of that." + +"We may hope that she has been," replied her mother; "but that which I +am most desirous you should think of, is not so much the case of that +poor child as your own. You can have no doubt of your baptism, and you +may therefore feel quite certain of having had a promise made to you; +and when you grow older, and begin to know what the troubles of life +really are, you will be able to appreciate the blessing of having +something to hope for and expect beyond the pleasures of the world." + +"Everybody who is grown up talks of having had a great deal of sorrow, +mamma," said Amy; "and so I suppose it is true: and sometimes I feel +quite frightened, and wish I could be always young; for I am very happy +now, and when my cousins come, I do not think I shall ever want anything +more." + +Mrs Herbert looked rather grave as she answered,--"I am afraid, my dear, +that your cousins arrival may make a great change in many of your ideas. +They have been brought up very differently from you, and you will see +them dressed in fine clothes, and with servants to wait on them, and +carriages to drive about in; and then, perhaps, you will become envious +and discontented." + +"Oh mamma!" exclaimed Amy, "how can you think so, when I shall have you +with me?" + +"I wish I could teach you, my love, how much better it is to be the +child of God than to be my child," replied Mrs Herbert. "I should have +no fears for you then; for you would not care for the grandeur and +riches which you will see your cousins possess, and you would always be +happy whether I were with you or not." + +"Mamma," said Amy, "you have often talked lately of my living without +you; but it makes me so very miserable to think of it, I wish you would +not mention it." + +"You must not give way to this kind of feeling, my dear child," answered +her mother; "for we must bear whatever God thinks fit to appoint. But I +cannot talk any more now: you shall go into the garden till the carriage +is ready, and leave me alone, for I am sadly tired." + +"I do not like to leave you," said Amy, "you look so pale and ill; and +you never used to do so. Oh, how I wish----," but here she stopped, +fearing lest the mention of her father's name might increase her +mother's grief. + +"You need not be afraid," replied Mrs Herbert, with a half smile, +though she well knew what was uppermost in her child's mind; "all that I +require is rest and quiet." + +Amy said no more, but placed a glass of water by her mother's side, and +left the room. + +When she was gone, Mrs Herbert closed her eyes, and seemed as if +endeavouring to sleep; but the working of her forehead, and the pressure +of her lips, showed that there was no repose of the mind. Solitude only +brought before her more clearly the image of her husband in a distant +land,--perhaps ill and unhappy, it might be dying; but it was necessary +for her own health, and for Amy's happiness, that she should struggle +against these sad forebodings; and although a few tears at first rolled +slowly down her cheek, and she felt that it was almost impossible to +prevent herself from giving way to her grief, she did at length succeed +in turning her mind to the consideration of the watchful providence and +mercy of God; and by the time Amy returned with the announcement that +the carriage was ready, she had quite regained her tranquillity. + +Stephen was at the door as they drove off, and bade them good-bye with +a happier look than was his wont; though, when Amy asked him if he were +not delighted at the thought of all the carriages and horses he should +soon see, he scarcely smiled as he answered, "Ah! yes, Miss Amy, 'twill +be very fine; but there will be no one now to ride the Shetland pony in +the park;" and he turned his head and walked quickly away. Mrs Bridget's +civilities, now that she knew how much depended on Mrs Herbert's good +opinion, were greater than usual; and many were the hopes she expressed +that everything had been satisfactory in the house, and that dear little +Miss Amy had liked the cake and strawberries. But Mrs Herbert was too +tired to listen long to her speeches, and expressed her approbation in +few words; and Amy, who liked Stephen a great deal better than Bridget, +declared that it was all quite delicious, and then ran after the old +steward to say good-bye once more. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +"There are only six days now, mamma," said Amy, as she sat at work by +her mother's side, about a week after their visit to Emmerton; "only six +days, and then my cousins will be come; but they seem dreadfully long; +and I have been thinking, too, that perhaps I shall not be liked; and if +so, you know all my pleasure will be at an end." + +"You had better not think anything about that, my dear," answered Mrs +Herbert; "it is nearly the certain way of preventing yourself from being +agreeable. If you are good-natured and sweet-tempered, there is very +little doubt of your being liked; but if you make any great efforts to +please, you will probably be led into saying and doing things that are +not quite natural, and you will at once become disagreeable; besides, +you may be tempted to act wrongly in order to suit your cousins' +inclinations. You know, Amy, we ought to try not to be liked, but to be +good." + +"But will you just tell me everything about my cousins, mamma, that I +may know what to expect? There will be Dora, and Margaret, and Frank, +and Rose; four of them. Now, what will Dora be like?" + +"I really can tell you very little," replied Mrs Herbert; "it is a long +time since I have seen any of them, and you have heard almost as much +as I have. Dora, I believe, has been brought forward a good deal, and +probably, therefore, considers herself older than she really is; she +must be more than fourteen, and I should think would not be so much your +companion as Margaret, who is a year younger. Frank you will not see a +great deal of, as he is at school the chief part of the year; though, +perhaps, now, the difference of his position in the family may make some +change in his fathers plans for him. Little Rose, who is not quite six, +is the pet of the whole house, and especially doated upon by her mother; +and this is nearly all the information I can give you." + +"And will the young lady I have so often heard you speak of come with +them, or will my aunt teach them as you do me?" + +"She will come with them, I have no doubt," replied Mrs Herbert; "for +although your aunt objects to a regular governess, and has educated your +cousins almost entirely herself, yet, lately, Miss Morton has assisted +her very much in their music and drawing." + +"Miss Morton is the daughter of a clergyman who lived very near +Wayland--is she not, mamma?" said Amy. + +"Yes," answered her mother. "He died suddenly, and his wife only +survived him about a month, and this poor girl was left quite unprovided +for. Some of her relations interested themselves for her, and placed her +at a very excellent school, where she had great advantages; and having +a superior talent for music and drawing, she made very rapid progress. +When she was nearly nineteen, she entered your uncle's family, and has +lived with them now for two years." + +"Will she be with them always?" asked Amy, "or will she have separate +rooms, as I have heard most governesses have?" + +"I believe she has been accustomed to have a sitting-room to herself," +said Mrs Herbert; "or, at least the schoolroom has been considered hers, +and she seldom joins the rest of the party." + +"Poor thing!" said Amy; "without any father or mother, it must be very +sad in the long winter evenings." + +Mrs Herbert thought the same, but she did not wish to express her +opinion; and Amy, having finished her work, was told to go and prepare +for a walk, her mother being glad to find an excuse for breaking off the +conversation, and so avoiding any further questions. + +The arrival of her brother's family was, indeed, a subject of anxious +consideration for Mrs Herbert. It must have a great influence on Amy's +mind, either for good or evil; and there was much reason to fear that +the evil would preponderate. Mr Harrington was a man of high honour +and extreme benevolence; but he was constitutionally indolent, and had +allowed his wife to gain so much influence over him, that the management +of everything was chiefly in her hands. It certainly might have been +entrusted to worse, for Mrs Harrington had good judgment, superior sense +in all worldly affairs, and a never-failing activity. Her establishment +was the best ordered, her dinners were the best dressed, her farm and +dairy were the best supplied of any in the county--all was in a style +of first-rate elegance, without any pretension or extravagance, but when +she attempted to apply her sense and her activity to the management of +her children, she failed essentially, for the one thing was wanting--she +had no real principle of religion. + +She had, it is true, taken care that they should be taught their +Catechism, almost as soon as they could speak; but she had never +endeavoured to explain to them its meaning; they had been accustomed +to repeat a hasty prayer every morning and evening, but they had never +learned how solemn a duty they were performing; and every Sunday they +had been in the habit of reading a chapter in the Bible, but it was +hurried through without the smallest thought, partly as a task, and +partly as a means of passing away the time. If it had not been for this +great deficiency, Mrs Harrington would have been well calculated for the +task of education; caring, however, only for accomplishments which +might make a show in the world, she considered the cultivation of her +children's minds a matter of secondary importance; and although she was +desirous they should be clever and well-read, that they might appear +to advantage in society, she thought very little of the effect their +studies might have upon their general character. + +From these circumstances, as might easily be supposed, Dora and Margaret +grew up with all their natural evil inclinations unchecked and the good +unimproved. Dora's temper, originally haughty, had become year by year +more overbearing, as she found that, from her father's rank and fortune, +and from being herself the eldest daughter of the family, she could +exact attention, not only from her brothers and sisters, but from +most of her playmates, and all the servants and dependents; and if +occasionally she excited her mother's displeasure, when a music lesson +had been particularly bad, or a drawing very carelessly executed, her +talents easily enabled her to regain that place in Mrs Harrington's +affection, which depended so much upon external superiority. And yet, +under good guidance, Dora Harrington might have become a very admirable +person. Her disposition was generous and candid, and her feelings were +warm and easily excited; but her pride and self-will had hitherto marred +every better quality. + +Margaret was very different: she was more inclined to be gentle and +yielding, but this rather from indolence than amiability; and her vanity +and selfishness rendered her, perhaps, even less agreeable than her +sister, when she became more intimately known. There was, indeed, +one peculiarity about her, which, on a first acquaintance, was very +winning--a great desire of gaining the love of others! and for this +purpose she would use the most affectionate expressions, and profess +the greatest interest in their happiness; but her young companions +soon found that she was seldom willing to make the sacrifice of her own +inclinations to theirs; and persons who were older, and could see deeper +into her character, discovered that her love of affection differed but +little from her love of admiration, as she only valued it because it +gained her attention; and the same vanity which made her delight in the +praises of her delicate complexion, and fair hair, and bright blue +eyes, made her also take pleasure in knowing that she was an object of +interest and regard to those around her. + +Such were probably to be Amy's companions for the next few years of her +life. Rose being too young to be considered of the number; and it was +well for Mrs Herbert's happiness that she was little aware of their +dispositions. Yet she had some fears as to the principle on which her +nieces had been educated; and she could not but be thankful that she +should, as she hoped, be at hand for at least some time to come, to +watch the effect of the intimacy upon Amy's mind, and to warn her +against any evil which might result from it; as she felt that, in the +event of her own death and her husband's prolonged absence, it would be +upon her brother's family alone that she could depend for friendship and +protection to her almost orphan child. + +Amy herself, with all the thoughtlessness of her age, looked forward to +nothing but enjoyment; and when the first rays of the sun shone through +her window, on the morning of the day that was to witness her meeting +with her cousins, and awakened her from her quiet sleep and her peaceful +dreams, it was only to give her the expectation of a yet brighter +reality. For the next hour she lay awake, imagining the grandeur of +Emmerton Hall in its best furniture, the delight of driving in her +uncle's carriage, and the probability that she might have beautiful +presents made her,--new books, or a watch, or a pony, or, what would be +still better, a pony-chaise for her mamma, now that she was unable to +walk far. She even went on to count up the books she should wish for, +and to settle the colour of the pony, not doubting that her uncle would +be willing to give her everything; for she had always been told he was +very kind; and a person who could live at Emmerton, she was sure, must +be able to purchase whatever he desired. + + +"Oh mamma, I am so happy!" was her first exclamation, as she seated +herself at the breakfast-table. "Do see what a beautiful day it is; and +I have been awake so long this morning, thinking over what we shall do +in the afternoon. I am sure you must be happy too." + +"Happy to see you so, my love," said Mrs Herbert, as she kissed her. + +"But why not happy in yourself, mamma; are you ill?" and she looked at +Mrs Herbert anxiously; then suddenly becoming grave, she said, "Dear +mamma, it was very wrong in me, but I did not think about poor Edward." + +"It was very natural, my dear, and you need not be distressed because +you cannot feel for him as I do, who knew him when he was a healthy, +merry child, the delight of every one." + +"Then there is no harm in being happy?" said Amy; "but I will try to be +so to myself, though I should like you to smile too; but, perhaps, you +will when you see them quite settled at Emmerton." + +"I hope every one will be reconciled to the loss in time," replied Mrs +Herbert; "and, perhaps, Amy, it will be a greater pleasure to me, by and +by, to know that your uncle is so near than it will be to you." + +"Oh mamma! how can that be? you know you are so much older; and you +always tell me that grown-up people do not enjoy things so much as +children." + +"But supposing, my dear, that your cousins' being at Emmerton should +make you envious and discontented with your own home, you would not be +happy then?" + +For a few moments Amy did not speak; a grave expression came over +her face; and, allowing her breakfast to remain untouched, she sat +apparently deep in thought. At last she said, "Mamma, people must be +very unhappy when they are envious." + +"Yes, indeed they must," replied Mrs Herbert; "for they are always +longing for things which God has not chosen to give them, and are +unthankful for those which they possess; besides, they often dislike the +persons whom they fancy more blessed than themselves." + +"And should you love me, mamma, if I were envious?" continued Amy, +looking intently at her mother as she spoke. + +"It would be a dreadful thing indeed, my love, which would prevent me +from loving you; but I should be very, very sorry to see you so." + +Again Amy was silent, and began eating her breakfast hastily; but it +seemed an effort, and Mrs Herbert presently saw that the tears were fast +rolling down her cheeks. + +"Amy, my dear child, what is the matter?" she exclaimed. + +Amy tried to answer, but her voice failed her; and rising from her seat +she hid her face on her mother's neck, and then said, in a low tone, +"Mamma, I know I have been envious." + +"If you have, my dear, you are, I am sure, very sorry for it now; and +you must not vex yourself too much when you discover you have a fault, +since you know that if you pray to God He will forgive you, and help you +to overcome it." + +"But, mamma," said Amy, "I did not think it was envy till just now. +It was the other evening when we came back from Emmerton, and I was +fancying how beautiful the house would be when it was all furnished, and +how I should like to live there; and then, when we got near home, I did +not like the cottage as much as I used to do, it appeared so small; and +I began to think I should be happier if I were one of my cousins, and +had a carriage, and horses, and servants. But, Oh mamma! it was very +wicked"--and here Amy's tears again fell fast--"for I forgot that I had +you." + +"The feeling was very natural," said Mrs Herbert, "though I will not +say it was right. I have often been afraid lest seeing your nearest +relations so much richer than yourself might make you uncomfortable; but +you know I told you before, that God sends to each of us some particular +trial or temptation, to prove whether we will love and serve Him, or +give way to our own evil inclinations; and this will probably be yours +through the greater part of your life. But when the feeling of envy +arises in your heart, will you, my darling Amy, pray to God to help you, +and teach you to remember that at your baptism you received the promise +of infinitely greater happiness and glory than any which this world can +give? And now you must finish your breakfast, or you will make yourself +quite ill and unfit for the day's pleasure; and, after our reading and +your morning lessons, we will have a very early dinner, so that we may +have time to call at Colworth parsonage before we go to Emmerton. Mrs +Saville has sent me word, that the story the poor girl told us the other +evening is quite true, and I should like to inquire how her mother is." + +Amy reseated herself at the breakfast-table; but she could not easily +recover her spirits, and during the whole morning there was a grave tone +in her voice, and a slight melancholy in her countenance, which only +disappeared when Mr Walton's carriage came to the door at two o'clock, +and she found herself actually on the road to Emmerton to receive her +cousins. The increased distance by Colworth was about two miles, and, at +another time, it would have added to her enjoyment to go by a new road; +but every moment's unnecessary delay now made her feel impatient, and +she was only quieted by her mamma's reminding her that her uncle could +not possibly arrive before half-past four or five o'clock, and therefore +it would be a pleasant way of spending the intervening time. "Besides," +said Mrs Herbert, "we must not forget others, Amy, because we are happy +ourselves; perhaps we may be of use to the poor woman." Amy sighed, and +wished she could be like her mother, and never forget what was right; +and the consciousness of one fault brought back the remembrance of +another, and with it the morning's conversation; and this again reminded +her of their last evening at Emmerton, and her mamma's story, till her +mind became so occupied that she forgot the novelty of the road, and +her impatience to be at the end of her journey; and when the carriage +stopped at the gate at Colworth, she was thinking of what Mrs Herbert +had said about her uncle Harrington, and the poor woman having the +same prospect for the future, and wondering whether they either of them +thought of it as her mamma seemed to do. + +Mrs Saville was almost a stranger to Amy; but her kind manner quickly +made her feel at ease, and she became much interested in the account +that was given of the poor woman's sufferings, and the dutiful affection +shown by her eldest girl. + +"Is it the one, mamma, whom we saw at Emmerton?" whispered Amy. + +"Yes," replied Mrs Saville, who had overheard the question; "she came +home that evening almost happy, notwithstanding her mother's poverty +and illness; for it had been the first time she had ever been obliged to +beg, and she had begun to despair of getting anything, when your mamma +was so good to her. I learned the whole story when she brought me the +note, and scolded her a little for not coming to me at once; but we +had done something for her before, and she did not like to ask again. I +cannot think," she continued, turning to Mrs Herbert, "what the children +will do; for the mother is rapidly sinking in a decline; and she tells +me they have no near relation, excepting a grandmother, who is old and +in want." + +"How far off is their parish?" asked Mrs Herbert. + +"About ten miles; it is impossible to think of their being moved now; +for the poor woman can scarcely live more than a few days longer; yet +the eldest girl seems to have no notion of her danger, and I dread the +consequences of telling her, she is so fond of her mother." + +"I should like to go to the cottage, if it is near," said Mrs Herbert; +"or, at least, I should be glad to see the girl; for I suppose her +mother had better not be disturbed." + +"It will be very easy, if you desire it," replied Mrs Saville; "for the +children are kept in a separate room. I should wish you to see the woman +herself, if she were equal to the sight of a stranger, for I am sure you +would be pleased with her contentment and resignation." + +"May I go too?" asked Amy, when Mrs Saville left the room. + +Mrs Herbert thought for a moment, and then replied, "You may, my dear, +if you are willing to assist in helping these poor people; I mean by +working for them, or doing anything else which may be in your power; +but it never does any one good to go and see people who are suffering, +merely from curiosity." + +"I think, mamma," said Amy, "I should be very willing to do something +for them, if you would tell me what it should be." + +"We must see them before we are able to decide," replied Mrs Herbert; +"but we shall soon know, for here is Mrs Saville ready for her walk." + +The cottage was but a short distance from the parsonage, and on the road +to Emmerton, and the carriage was ordered to meet them there, that Mrs +Herbert might be spared any unnecessary fatigue. Cottage it could not +well be called, for it was little more than a hovel, divided into two +parts; but it was the only one vacant in the neighbourhood, and the poor +woman had gladly availed herself of any shelter when she became so ill; +and though Mrs Saville's kindness had made it assume a more comfortable +appearance than it had done at first, it was still very destitute of +furniture, and, to Amy's eyes, looked the picture of wretchedness. +The eldest girl was attending to her mother, and the five younger ones +playing before the door. At the appearance of the strangers, they all +rushed into the house; but Mrs Saville was an old friend, and, at her +order, Amy's former acquaintance, Susan Reynolds, was called in. At +first, Amy thought she should scarcely have known her again,--she +was looking so much neater than when she had seen her that evening at +Emmerton; but she soon remembered her face, and the frightened manner +which she still retained. + +Mrs Herbert made many inquiries as to the state of the family,--who were +their relations, what they intended to do, and whether any of them had +ever been to school; and the girl showed by her answers that she had no +idea of her mother's danger. When she got well, she said, they should +all go home, and live with grandmother, and go to school. She had +learned to read and write herself; but the little ones never had, only +sometimes she had tried to teach them; but now her whole time was taken +up in nursing, and it was all she could do to keep them out of mischief, +and mend their clothes. + +Amy looked with a wondering eye upon the poor girl, as she gave this +account of herself, and thought how impossible it would be for her to +do as much; and yet there seemed to be but a slight difference in their +ages, and the advantages of health and strength were all on her side. +Mrs Herbert also remarked Susan's sickly countenance, and asked some +questions as to her general health, but she could get very little +information. Susan's care was entirely given to others, and she thought +but little of her own feelings. At times, she said, she was very tired, +and she did not sleep well at night; but then the baby often cried, and +she was anxious about her mother, and so it was very natural. Again +Amy felt surprised as she remembered her comfortable bed, and her quiet +sleep, and her mamma's watchfulness on the slightest appearance of +illness. + +"Does it not make you very unhappy," she asked, "to see your mother +suffer so much?" + +"Yes, Miss," replied the girl; "but then I think of the time when she +will get well." + +"But supposing she should never get well?" continued Amy. + +Poor Susan started, as if the idea had never entered her head before; +her eyes filled with tears; and, after a great struggle, she said, in a +broken voice: "Mother hopes to go to heaven." As she spoke, Mrs Herbert +looked at her child, and Amy knew what the look meant; for it reminded +her of the conversation at Emmerton, and she understood how true her +mamma's words on that evening had been; for her uncle Harrington, with +all his riches, could not expect a greater comfort than this for his +death-bed. Conscious, however, that she had been the cause of a great +deal of pain, her chief desire now was to make some amends; and, as they +were about to go away, she whispered to her mamma, "I should like so +much to do something for her." + +"I will ask what would be most useful," replied Mrs Herbert. "This young +lady," she added, turning to Susan, "wishes to make something which may +be of service to you. Should you like it to be a frock for yourself, or +for one of the children?" + +"For Bessy, ma'am, if you please," said Susan; "her frock is all in +rags, and it was quite old when she first had it." Bessy, who had run +into the road to avoid the strangers, was summoned, and her measure +properly taken; and Mrs Herbert, slipping a shilling into Susan's +hand, and telling her she should have the frock in a few days, left the +cottage, followed by Mrs Saville and Amy. Mrs Saville promised to send +word if any plan were proposed which could be a comfort to the poor +woman, or an assistance to her children; and then, wishing her good +morning, Mrs Herbert and Amy stepped into the carriage, and were once +more on the way to Emmerton. + +"My dear child," said Mrs Herbert, finding that Amy made no observation +on what had passed, "are you sorry that you went with me?" + +"Oh no! mamma," exclaimed Amy; "but I am sorry that I said anything to +Susan about her mother not getting well. I am afraid I made her very +miserable." + +"It was thoughtless, my dear," replied Mrs Herbert; "not but what it is +quite necessary that Susan should be prepared, but then it would have +been better for Mrs Saville to have broken it to her gently. These +things happen to us all, from our not remembering, when we talk to +people, to put ourselves in their situation. You would not have said it, +if you had called to mind what your own feelings would have been in a +similar case." + +"But, mamma, it is impossible to be always on the watch." + +"It is very difficult, but not impossible," said Mrs Herbert; "habit +will do wonders; and the earlier we begin thinking about other persons' +feelings, the more easy it will be to us to do so always; and I wish you +particularly to be careful now, my love, because you will probably be +thrown much more amongst strangers than you have been; and half the +quarrels and uncomfortable feelings that we witness in society, arise +from some little awkwardness or thoughtlessness in speech without any +offence being intended. Though you are so young, Amy, you may soon +learn, by a little observation, what things are likely to pain people, +and what are not." + +"But," said Amy, "I thought it was always necessary to speak the truth." + +"Yes," replied her mother, "it certainly is quite necessary whenever you +are called upon to do it; for instance, if you had been asked whether +you thought it likely that Mrs Reynolds would get well, it would have +been quite right in you to say, no, because you had heard so from Mrs +Saville; but there was no occasion for you to make the observation of +your own accord." + +"I think I know what you mean, mamma," said Amy; "but will you tell me +one thing more? Why did you say it would do me no good to see the poor +woman, if I did not mean to help her? I am sure, whether I could have +done anything or not, I should have been very sorry for her." + +"I should like to give a long answer to your question, my dear," +answered Mrs Herbert; "but here we are at the lodge gate, and there is +Stephen ready to welcome us, so we must leave it till another time." + +"How quickly we have come!" exclaimed Amy. "Do, mamma, let me get out, +and walk up to the house with Stephen; I want to hear what he says, and +whether he is as impatient as I am." + +But it was only the quick glance of the eye that betrayed Stephen's +impatience, as he turned to look up the road by which Mr Harrington's +carriage was expected to arrive. He seemed even little inclined for +conversation, though Amy did her best to draw him out, as she one moment +walked quietly by his side, then ran joyously before him, and then +suddenly stopped to ask him some questions about the preparations that +had been made. His dress, too, was different from what it usually had +been, excepting when he appeared at church on a Sunday; and Amy saw the +black crape round his hat, which told that he, like her mamma, could +not feel unmixed pleasure in the return of his master's family to their +former home. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +As they entered the house, Amy's quick eye soon discovered the changes +that had taken place since she was last there. A detachment of servants +and a large quantity of furniture had arrived three days before; and +Mrs Bridget was now in all her glory, putting the finishing stroke to +everything, moving tables and chairs to suit her own taste, carefully +effacing every symptom of dust, and ordering servants in all directions, +partly because she thought they might as well be actively employed, and +partly because she felt it was so grand to command tall men in livery. +Her smart silk gown seemed to Amy's ears to rustle more audibly than +ever as she met her in the hall, and there was a greater profusion +of frills and ribbons about her wide-spreading cap, and, above all, a +mixture of importance and bustle in her step, which, with the shrill +voice and up-turned nose and chin, showed that she felt herself, for +the time being, the superior of every one about her. Nevertheless, +she received Amy most graciously, told her that she had persuaded Mrs +Herbert to rest in the great drawing-room, and endeavoured to induce her +to do the same; but this was quite contrary to Amy's inclinations, and +the moment she could escape from Mrs Bridget's fine words, she ran off +to see that her mamma was comfortable, and the next minute her light +step was heard as she danced along the galleries exploring every room, +new and old, to see what alterations were made in them. This was not +quite according to Bridget's notions of propriety, and she muttered to +herself that it would not do by and by,--Miss Amy would soon find out +that the house was not hers; but her partiality got the better of +her dignity, and Amy continued the search, till, having satisfied her +curiosity, she stationed herself half way between the lodge and the +house to watch for the carriage. Every moment seemed now an age; but she +was not long kept in suspense; after about ten minutes, the rumbling of +wheels was distinctly heard, and almost immediately afterwards the gates +were thrown open, and a carriage and four drove rapidly down the avenue. +Amy's heart beat quickly; she stood for a few moments looking at it, +and then, half frightened as it came nearer and nearer, she ran at full +speed towards the house that she might be the first to give the joyful +intelligence to her mother. But Mrs Herbert's anxious ear had already +caught the sound, and she was standing on the steps when her child flew +to her almost breathless. Even in that moment of excitement, Amy could +not help noticing the deadly paleness of her mother's face; but there +was now no time for words, the carriage stopped at the door, and Mrs +Herbert making a great effort to command her feelings, with a firm voice +welcomed her brother and his family to Emmerton. Amy shrank behind +her mamma, with but one wish, to avoid being observed by the tall +grave-looking gentleman, whom she thought she never could call uncle; +and Mrs Herbert, considering only her brother's painful feelings, +suffered him to pass with but very few words. Mrs Harrington followed, +and Amy scarcely remarked what her aunt was like, her whole mind being +occupied with wondering whether the two fashionable-looking young +ladies, who remained in the carriage searching for their baskets and +books, could possibly be her own cousins. + +"Which is Dora, mamma?" she whispered. + +But Mrs Herbert moved forward, as her nieces ran up the steps, saying, +"Your mamma has left me to introduce myself, my dear girls. I can hardly +imagine you have any remembrance of your aunt Herbert and your cousin +Amy. I suppose I shall not be mistaken in calling you Dora," she added, +as she kissed the one who, from her height and general appearance, was +evidently the eldest. + +Amy's first curiosity was thus set at rest, but in its stead she was +seized with an overpowering feeling of shyness. Dora looked almost as +awful a person as her papa, whom she very much resembled. There was the +same high forehead, dark eye, rather large nose, and haughty curl of the +lip; and her height, which was unusual at her age, gave the idea of her +being at least two years older than she really was; and Amy turned to +Margaret in despair of finding anything like a companion; but Margaret +had a much younger face, and slighter figure, though she also was tall; +and if her dress and manner had been less like those of a grown-up +person, Amy might, perhaps, have felt more comfortable. + +"You are quite right, aunt," said Dora, in a sharp, loud voice, which +sounded disagreeably in Amy's ears, after the gentle tones to which she +had listened from her infancy; "I am Dora, and this is Margaret, and +there is little Rose behind." + +"I begin to think," said Mrs Herbert, "that, after all, Rose will be +Amy's best playfellow; we were neither of us quite prepared for anything +so tall and womanly, and Amy is such a tiny child, you will think her +more fit for the nursery than the school-room, I suspect." + +"Is this Amy?" said Dora, giving her first a patronising tap on the +shoulder, and then a hasty kiss; "I dare say we shall be very good +friends." And without another word she ran into the house. + +"I am sure we shall," said Margaret, in a more affectionate tone, and +Amy, who had been chilled by Dora's manner, returned her embrace most +cordially. + +"I must give little Rose a kiss before we go into the drawing-room," +said Mrs Herbert, "and perhaps, Margaret, you will introduce me to Miss +Morton." + +Margaret stared, as if she did not quite understand her aunt's meaning. +"Oh!" she said, "there is no occasion for that, we never do it with her; +but, to be sure," she continued, seeing that Mrs Herbert looked grave, +"if you like it. Simmons, help Miss Morton down." + +The footman moved forward a few steps, lifted little Rose from the +carriage, and then held out his hand to Miss Morton, who was seated by +the side of the lady's maid. + +"Which is Miss Morton?" asked Mrs Herbert, in a low voice, much puzzled +between two silk gowns, two silk bonnets, and two lace veils. + +"Well, that is amusing!" exclaimed Margaret, pertly, and bursting into +a short, conceited laugh. "Certainly Morris is the nicest-looking of the +two. Morris, my aunt did not know you and Emily Morton apart." + +Amy felt very uncomfortable at this speech, though she scarcely knew +why; and even Margaret, when the words were uttered, seemed conscious +they were wrong; for, with a heightened colour, and without waiting to +introduce Mrs Herbert, she seized Amy's hand, and turned quickly away. + +"Miss Morton will, I am sure, willingly pardon a mistake which only +distance could have caused," said Mrs Herbert, as she looked with +interest at the delicate features and sweet expression of the peculiarly +lady-like young girl, whose face had become like crimson on hearing +Margaret's thoughtless speech. "I ought to know you; for I well remember +seeing you some years ago, when I was staying with my brother at +Wayland Court; but you were then such a child, that I confess I find a +considerable alteration." + +The answer to this was given in a low, hurried tone, for Emily Morton +had lately been so little accustomed to civility, that it confused +her almost as much as neglect. She seemed only anxious to divert Mrs +Herbert's attention from herself to little Rose as soon as possible; and +whispering to the child to go with her aunt into the drawing-room, she +herself followed the lady's-maid in a different direction. Amy was by +this time rather more at her ease; and when Mrs Herbert entered, she +was standing by her uncle, and had found courage to say a few words. +Mrs Harrington was leaning back on the sofa, taking but slight notice of +anything; and Dora and Margaret were examining the furniture, and making +remarks which were far from pleasing to Amy's ears. The room was so +dark, and the windows were so deep, and the furniture was so very +old-fashioned, they were quite sure they never could be happy in such a +strange place; and after the first observations about the journey were +over, Amy began to feel still more uncomfortable; for she fancied that +her mamma wished her to be away, that she might talk to her uncle and +aunt, and yet her cousins showed no intention of leaving the room. At +last, surprised at her own boldness, she whispered to Dora, who was +standing next her, "Should you not like to see the house up-stairs?" + +Dora turned sharply round, and Amy could not quite understand the tone +of her voice, as she said, "I suppose you wish to do the honours." + +"Amy, my love," said Mrs Herbert, who had overheard the question and +answer, "you must recollect that your cousins are at home; they will go +up-stairs when they please." + +Poor Amy felt puzzled and vexed; she had meant no harm, and yet both +her mamma and Dora seemed annoyed. She did not, however, venture to say +anything further, and was quite relieved when Mr Harrington remarked +that it was a good notion, the girls had better go and choose their +rooms at once, and settle themselves a little; and by that time they +would be ready, perhaps, for their tea, as they had all dined on the +road quite early. + +Amy hung back, afraid of again doing something which her cousin might +not like; but Margaret called to her to follow them, and in a few +moments she had forgotten her discomfort in the pleasure of showing the +different apartments, and pointing out all their several advantages. But +Dora and Margaret were very difficult to please: one room was too small, +another too large; one looked out at the back, and another at the side; +one was too near the drawing-room, and another too far off. Still Amy +did not care; for she had determined in her own mind that they would +decide upon the bedroom oriel, which was just over the old schoolroom. + +"Well! this really does seem as if it would do," said Margaret, as they +entered. "Do look, Dora; it is the prettiest room in the whole house, +and has the prettiest view, too; and the dressing-room is so large and +nice." + +"I care very little which room I have," said Dora, who was looking grave +and unhappy. "The house is so sad and melancholy, it is all much the +same; we shall never be happy here." + +"Not happy!" said Amy. "Oh yes! by and by you will; it never seems +gloomy to me." + +"That is because you have always been accustomed to it," replied Dora. +"If you had seen Wayland Court, you would think nothing of this." + +"Dora is determined not to be happy," said Margaret; and then she added, +in a whisper to Amy, "She was so very fond of poor Edward." + +Dora evidently heard the words; for the tears rushed to her eyes, and +she bit her lip and began walking about examining the pictures; but the +painting which hung over the mantel-piece quite overcame all attempt at +composure. It was the picture of Mr Harrington's grandfather, taken when +a boy. He was represented riding in the park, on a spirited pony; and +both Dora and Margaret saw in a moment the likeness to their brother. It +was not natural for Dora to give way to any display of feeling; but she +had suffered very much during her brother's illness,--and this, with +her regret at leaving Wayland, the fatigue of the journey, and what she +considered to be the gloom of the house, entirely overpowered her; and +Amy, who had never been accustomed to the sight of any grief, except +her mamma's quiet tears, became frightened. Margaret, too, looked +astonished, but neither said nor did anything to assist or comfort her +sister; and Amy, having exhausted all the kind expressions she could +think of, at last remembered Mrs Herbert's infallible remedy of a glass +of water, which soon enabled Dora, in some degree, to recover herself. +At first she took but little notice of Amy, who stood by her side, +begging her to try and be happy; in fact, like many other proud persons, +she felt annoyed that she had given way so much before a mere child, +as she considered her cousin to be; but there was no withstanding the +winning tones of Amy's voice, and the perfect sincerity of her manner; +and when, at last, she became silent, and looked almost as unhappy as +herself, Dora's haughtiness was quite subdued, and she exclaimed, "I +must love you, Amy; for no one else would care whether I were miserable +or not." + +Amy was surprised at the idea of any person's seeing others suffer and +not feeling for them; but, rejoicing in the success of her efforts, she +now tried to divert Dora's attention, by talking of the conveniences of +the room, and the view from the window. It was, at length, quite decided +that they should occupy it, and the bell was forthwith rung to summon +Morris. But the summons was given in vain; no Morris appeared. Again and +again the rope was pulled, but no footsteps were heard in answer. Dora +became irritated and Margaret fretful; and, after a considerable delay, +Amy proposed that, as she knew the way to the housekeeper's room, she +should try and find out Morris, who was very probably there. The thought +of the strange servants was certainly alarming; but then her cousins +were in distress, and she could help them; and, overcoming her timidity, +she set off on what appeared to her quite an expedition. Boldly and +quickly she threaded her way through the dark, winding passages, every +turn of which had been familiar to her from her childhood. But when she +stopped at the head of the back staircase, and listened to the hubbub of +voices in the servants' hall, her first fears returned. Even Bridget's +shrill tones were drowned in the medley of sound, and Amy looked in +vain, in the hope of seeing her cross the passage. After a few moments, +however, she felt inclined to laugh at her own shyness, and ran quickly +down, determining to inquire for Morris of the first person she met. +The servants were rushing to and fro in every direction, in all the +important bustle of a first arrival, and one or two pushed by without +taking any notice of her; but Amy, having resolved not to be daunted, +still went on; and, as a door suddenly opened immediately at her side, +and a tall female servant (as she imagined), dressed in deep mourning, +entered the passage, she turned eagerly to her, pulled her gown, +and begged to know where Morris was to be found. To her extreme +consternation, her aunt's voice answered quickly and angrily--"Who is +this? Amy here! how very improper, amongst all the servants! Why did you +not ring the bell, child? Go away, this moment." + +Amy's first impulse was to obey as fast as possible; but she knew she +was doing no harm; and a few words, which her fright, however, made it +difficult to utter, soon explained to Mrs Harrington the cause of her +appearance there. Morris was instantly summoned, and Amy returned to her +cousins to recount her adventure. + +"You don't mean to say mamma saw you amongst all the servants?" +exclaimed Margaret. "Well! I would not have been you for something; it +is just the very thing she most objects to. I have heard her lecture by +the hour about it; we have never been allowed to go within a mile of the +kitchen; and even little Rose, though she is such a baby, is kept just +as strict." + +"Well, but," said Amy, "why did you let me go, if you knew my aunt would +object?" + +"Oh!" said Margaret, "you offered, and I thought mamma was safe in the +drawing-room." + +"And we wanted Morris," interrupted Dora, "I hate false excuses." + +Amy felt rather angry, and thought she should not have done the same by +them; but everything this evening was so very new and strange, that she +kept all her feelings to herself for the present, to be talked over with +her mamma when they got home. + +"But were you not very much frightened?" continued Margaret. "What did +you say when mamma spoke to you?" + +"I was frightened just at first," replied Amy; "but then I knew I was +not doing anything wrong, and so I did not really care." + +"Well, if you are not the boldest little thing I ever met with," said +Margaret; "even Dora would have cared, if she had been you." + +"It is no use to say any more," exclaimed Dora, in rather an irritated +voice, for she prided herself upon caring for nobody; "we must leave off +talking now, and proceed to work. I am resolved to have all my things +unpacked, and settled to-night; so I shall choose my drawers and +closets, and say where I will have them put, and then Morris may as well +begin." + +"But it is so late. Miss," said poor Morris, who was quite exhausted +with the packing of the previous night, and the fatigue of the long +day's journey; "and yours and Miss Margaret's things are mixed, many of +them." + +Dora coloured, and said angrily, "You forget yourself, Morris; I have +told you that I choose to have my boxes unpacked to-night." + +Amy longed to petition for a little mercy; but she was beginning to +learn not to interfere where she had no power, and Dora immediately +walked round the room to examine drawers and closets, and to give +directions, while Morris stood by, the picture of despairing fatigue. +Margaret was too indolent to give herself much trouble about the matter, +and Amy was rather astonished to see that Dora did not consult her in +the least. She chose the best of everything for herself; and when Morris +inquired what Miss Margaret wished to have done, the only answer she +could get was, that it did not signify; at any rate, to-morrow would be +quite soon enough to settle, for she was far too tired to think about it +now; and Morris, thankful for even a partial respite, asked for no more +orders, but hastened away to make the proper selection of trunks +and imperials. Dora and Margaret then arranged their dress and went +down-stairs to tea, followed by Amy, who felt alarmed as she thought +of encountering her aunt's eye after her misdemeanour. Mrs Harrington, +however, took but little notice of her; she had in some degree recovered +her energy, and was able to exert herself at the tea-table: and as +whatever she did always occupied her whole attention, she seemed to +be quite engrossed in cups and saucers, milk and cream; and Amy placed +herself at the farthest distance from her, taking care to have the urn +between them, and reserving a place at her side for her mamma, who was +standing at the window, talking in a low voice to Mr Harrington. But +when the labour of tea-making was over, Mrs Harrington was able to think +of other things, and her first inquiry was, what the girls thought +of their rooms, and why they had been obliged to send Amy into the +servants' hall. + +"I suppose there is no bell, mamma," said Dora; "for we rang a great +many times, but no one came." + +"Where was Miss Morton?" said Mrs Harrington; "she ought to have been +with you; it would not signify her going amongst the servants, but it +was highly improper for your cousin." + +"Emily Morton always thinks she has enough to do to take care of +herself," said Margaret; "she is not over-fond of helping any one." + +This struck Amy as very unjust; for Miss Morton had not been told where +they were, and, of course, was not to blame. She was not aware that it +was usual with Mrs Harrington to put upon Miss Morton everything that +went wrong; and that she was expected to be at hand to assist Dora and +Margaret on all occasions, no one considering for an instant whether the +expectation were reasonable or unreasonable. + +"But, mamma," said Dora, "I must tell you that Emily did not know we +were gone to our rooms, so we ought not to find fault with her." + +"But I do find fault with her, Dora," replied Mrs Harrington; "she +knows very well what is expected of her, and she ought to have inquired +whether she could be of any use to you." + +"But, mamma,"--persisted Dora. + +"I will not hear any buts, Dora; I must be the best judge of what Miss +Morton's duties are; you are not generally so apt to take her part." + +"Only I hate injustice," muttered Dora, in a sulky tone. + +"And I can't bear Emily Morton," whispered Margaret, who was sitting +next Amy. + +"Can't bear her!" exclaimed Amy. + +"Hush! hush!" said Margaret; "I don't want every one to hear." + +Amy would have repeated her exclamation in a lower voice, but Mrs +Herbert now approached the tea-table, and began asking questions of +her nieces, and trying as much as possible to make herself at home with +them. Dora's answers were rather pert, and Margaret's rather affected; +but neither Mr nor Mrs Harrington checked them in the least, and Amy +felt annoyed at hearing them speak to her mamma almost as familiarly as +if she had been of their own age. She herself sat perfectly silent, too +much in awe of her aunt's grave looks to venture an observation, and +quite amused with watching what passed, and remarking to herself upon +the magnificence of the silver tea-urn and its appendages, and the +profusion of things with which the table was covered, so different +from what she was accustomed to see at the cottage. She was not sorry, +however, when her mamma proposed ordering the carriage; for the novelty +of everything did not quite make up for the restraint she was under. She +was afraid not only of her uncle and aunt, but even of the footmen when +they came near, and she anxiously observed Dora and Margaret, thinking +she could not do wrong in imitating them. + +"We shall see you to-morrow at the cottage, I hope," said Mrs Herbert to +her brother, when the carriage was announced. + +Mrs Harrington answered for him in a short, ungracious manner--"I don't +know, indeed, there will be so much to arrange; perhaps the girls +may manage it; but Mr Harrington's time and mine will be completely +occupied." + +"I shall come and see you as soon as possible, you may be quite sure," +said Mr Harrington; "it is too great a pleasure to talk over everything +with you, for me not to seize all opportunities of doing so; though +perhaps to-morrow, as Charlotte says, I may be very busy." + +"Then we will expect the girls alone," replied Mrs Herbert. "Amy is +longing to do the honours of the cottage; and, if they come about one +o'clock, they can have their luncheon with us." + +Amy added her entreaties, and Margaret, with a great many kisses, +declared it would be the thing of all others she should most enjoy: +while Dora simply said, "Good night," and expressed no pleasure about +the matter. When Amy found herself alone with her mamma, her first wish +was to talk over all that had passed, but Mrs Herbert was looking very +pale and exhausted, and her child had lately learned to watch every +change in her countenance, and to understand in a moment when it was +necessary for her to be silent; she therefore said but little during +their drive home; and it was not till Mrs Herbert was seated in the +arm-chair in her own room, that Amy ventured to express her feelings. "I +may talk to you now, mamma," she said, "for there is no rumbling of the +carriage to worry you; but you did look so ill when we left Emmerton, +that I did not like to do it." + +"Yes, my dear," said Mrs Herbert, "it has been a very trying day; but +you shall ease your mind before you go to sleep, and tell me how you +like your cousins, and everything you have been doing, and saying, and +feeling." + +"The doing and saying will be easy enough," replied Amy; "but, dear +mamma, it was all so strange, I cannot tell at all what I have been +feeling; and then I cannot make up my mind about anything, and that +puzzles me. I always fancied I should be able to tell at once what I +liked and disliked; but all the way home I have been trying to find out +which of my cousins is the nicest; and one moment I think one thing, and +the next another. And then the house was so changed with the different +furniture, that it seemed quite like another place; only not quite +another either, more like what the cottage seems to me in my dreams; and +then I am so afraid of my aunt, and I think I made her angry--but I must +tell you about that presently. I was so frightened at the men-servants +too, there were such a number; and that one with the black hair, who +was not in livery, is so like Mr Saville of Colworth, that I thought at +first he was going to speak to me." + +Mrs Herbert smiled. "You have certainly contrived to get a curious +medley in your head, Amy; but you will never be able to talk over all +these things to-night, it is getting so late." + +"No, mamma," said Amy, "I feel as if there would be something to say if +I were to go on till to-morrow; but I should care for nothing else if I +could only make out which of my cousins I like best." + +"But," said Mrs Herbert, "it is hardly possible to settle such a +weighty matter, on so short an acquaintance; probably if you decided it +to-night, you would change again to-morrow. I dare say it will take some +time before you can know them sufficiently well, really to make up your +mind." + +"Well," sighed Amy, "I suppose I must leave it. I think, though, I like +Margaret, because she is affectionate; and Dora, because she seems to +speak just what she means; but I liked Margaret much better when we were +alone, than when she was talking to you, mamma; her voice and all seemed +quite different." + +"And what did you think of Rose?" asked Mrs Herbert. + +"Oh! I only saw her for a moment; she looked as if she must be a darling +little thing, she is so very pretty; but, mamma, I cannot understand +about Miss Morton. Is she a lady?" + +"Yes, my dear, certainly; she is the daughter of a clergyman." + +"But, then, where was she all the evening? She did not come in at +tea-time." + +"I believe she generally spends the evenings alone," replied Mrs +Herbert, "as I told you the other day." + +"It seems so strange," said Amy; "and Margaret told me she could not +bear her, so I suppose she must be very disagreeable." + +"You must not judge of people merely from what you hear, but from what +you see of them too," said Mrs Herbert; "so don't determine upon poor +Miss Morton's being disagreeable till you are more acquainted with her; +she seemed to me to be very gentle and ladylike." + +"I feel as if I never should be able to decide about any one now," +sighed Amy, "I am so very puzzled; and I am not quite sure whether I +have been happy to-night." + +"My dear child," said Mrs Herbert, "I must send you to bed, for I am +sure if you sit up thinking and talking any more you will be unfit for +everything to-morrow. I only wish you to tell me what you could have +done to make your aunt angry with you." + +Amy repeated the history of her adventure, but Mrs Herbert made no +observation upon it; and she was then sent to her room to prepare for +bed. + +"You will come back to me when you are ready to read," said Mrs Herbert. +And in about half an hour's time Amy reappeared with her Bible. + +"It seems so nice and quiet," she said, "to be able to sit down with you +quite alone, mamma, after seeing so many people; and I think I shall go +to sleep better when I have read my psalm as usual." + +"I hope you will always find it a blessing to read your Bible, my +dear; and I know myself that it is peculiarly so when we have been much +excited; there is something so calm and soothing in it." + +Amy read her psalm, and did not attempt to say anything more about +Emmerton, for she had always been taught that her last thoughts, before +she slept, should be of God and heaven rather than of the things of +earth; only, as Mrs Herbert bent over her, to give her the last kiss, +she said, "Mamma, may I tell you one thing which came into my head +to-night? You know I have read in the Bible, and have heard people talk +about the world, and that there are temptations in it, and that we ought +to avoid it; and I never could quite understand this, because it seemed +that I had no world, for you always do what is right, and there is no +evil in the trees and flowers; and one day you said that the world was +different to everybody, and that it meant the things which tempted us to +do wrong; and to-night, when I was saying my prayers, I recollected that +I had felt angry with my cousins, and that you had said, 'that perhaps +being with them would make me envious;' and then it came into my head, +that perhaps Emmerton will be my world--do you think it will?" + +"Most probably it may be," said Mrs Herbert. + +"But then, mamma, will it be right to go there?" + +"It is not right to shut ourselves up from our relations, and so +lose opportunities of learning good from them, or setting them a good +example," replied her mother. "If your cousins are better than yourself, +they will, I hope, be of great use to you; and if they are not, you may +try and benefit them. Your being envious and angry is your fault, not +theirs; and if you were never to see them again, you would still have +the same bad feelings in your mind. Renouncing the world does not mean +shutting ourselves up and never seeing any one, but it does mean trying +to avoid unnecessary occasions of temptation, as well as to overcome +sin; and you will avoid the world, not by keeping away from your +cousins, but by striving against evil feelings and actions when you +are with them, and not allowing yourself to envy them because they are +richer, and live in a larger house." + +"I should like to talk a great deal more, mamma," said Amy, "only I am +so sleepy." + +"We must have some more conversation to-morrow," said Mrs Herbert, +as she left the room. And in two minutes Amy had forgotten all her +difficulties and all her pleasures, in the deep, calm repose which few +but children can enjoy. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +The first impression on Amy's mind, after her introduction to her +cousins, on their arrival at Emmerton, was that of disappointment. The +long-looked-for event had come and passed, but it had not brought with +it the pleasure that had been anticipated. Her cousins were not at all +what she had expected to see; and she felt as if they were more like +strangers now than when she had only pictured them to herself such +as she desired. And yet it was so strange to her to be unhappy or +discontented, that she did not long dwell upon the things which had +annoyed her in them, but turned with pleasure to the hope that it was +her own fault they did not seem more kind and agreeable, and that when +she knew them better she should find them all she could wish. There +was great enjoyment, too, in talking over everything with her mamma at +breakfast, which she could easily do now that the fatigue and excitement +were gone; and so fully did Emmerton engross her thoughts that she +entirely forgot Susan Reynolds, and the promised frock, till Mrs Herbert +produced it, ready prepared, after the lessons were finished, and begged +her to do as much as she could before her cousins' arrival. + +"It will not be much, I am afraid, mamma," said Amy, "for it is getting +late, and they agreed to be here by one; but I must do more this +evening." + +"Yes," said Mrs Herbert, "I should be sorry if the poor child were +disappointed." + +"So should I too, mamma. Now I have seen her, I really do feel it will +be a pleasure to help her. And will you tell me, whilst I am working, +what you had not time to speak about yesterday? I mean, why it never +does people any good to go and see others suffer merely from curiosity." + +"It not only does them no good, but it does them harm," replied Mrs +Herbert, "and for this reason: God gives to almost every one, and +especially to young people, many kind, amiable feelings, as a sort of +treasure which they are carefully to keep. Now, these kind feelings, +as people grow older, gradually die away as they get accustomed to the +sight of suffering, and so at last they are likely to become cold and +hard-hearted; and there is only one sure way of preventing this,--by +doing kind actions whenever we are blessed with kind feelings. Perhaps +you would rather I should explain myself more clearly," added Mrs +Herbert, as Amy laid down her work, and looked thoughtfully in her +mother's face. "When you saw Susan Reynolds yesterday you had compassion +for her, and a great wish to help her: this was the good feeling given +you by God. But supposing you had thought that, after all, it was too +much trouble to work for her, you would soon have forgotten her, and the +next time you saw her you would probably have pitied her less, and the +next time less still; and if you had gone on so, you might have ended in +becoming perfectly cold and selfish. But by determining to do something, +you have kept up your interest; and you will find that your kind feeling +will continue and increase, not only for her, but for other persons you +may see in distress." + +"But, then, I have heard you say, mamma, that we ought not to follow our +feelings entirely." + +"No," replied Mrs Herbert; "because very often our feelings are wrong, +and therefore we must have some other rule to go by, or we shall +continually mistake our duties; but when they are right they are given +us by God to make those duties easy and pleasant; and if we do not +encourage them, we shall find when we grow old that it will be very +difficult, if not almost impossible, to do right, however we may wish +it." + +"Then, mamma, if we had always good feelings there would be no occasion +to do anything but just what we felt inclined; how very nice that would +be!" + +"There is but one way of getting these good feelings," said Mrs Herbert, +"and that is by doing what we know we ought, whether we like it or not; +and only one way of keeping them when we have got them, by taking +care always to act upon them; and if we begin when we are young, it +is astonishing how easy it will soon become. I know you like an +illustration, Amy, to make you remember things; so now I will give you +one, to teach you the difference between feelings and duty. Feelings are +like the horses which carry us quickly and easily along the road, only +sometimes they stumble, and sometimes they go wrong, and now and then +they will not move at all; but duty is like the coachman who guides +them, and spurs them up when they are too slow, and brings them back +when they go out of the way." + +"Thank you, mamma," said Amy, as she ran to the window at the sound of +approaching wheels; "I think I shall always remember now. And here come +my uncle's feelings down the lane,--beautiful gray ones; and there is +duty on the coach-box driving them." + +"Well," observed Mrs Herbert, smiling, "I hope duty will guide the +feelings properly round the corner, for it is a very awkward turn." + +Amy looked anxiously into the carriage as it drove up, and with great +delight saw that it contained only her two cousins, for her aunt's stern +look was sufficiently impressed upon her recollection to make the idea +of meeting her again disagreeable. "I am so glad you are come!" she +exclaimed to Margaret, who was the first to alight; "I have finished all +my lessons, and dinner will very soon be ready, and afterwards, if you +like, we can go all over the garden." + +"I should not think that would take very long," said Dora, casting a +contemptuous glance around. + +Amy, for a moment, felt almost ashamed, as if there were something +disgraceful in not having a large garden; but she did not make any +reply, and led her cousins into the house, with a secret dislike of +their seeing how different it was from Emmerton, and a dread lest Dora +should make some more observations. In her aunt's presence, however, +Dora was rather subdued, and did not venture to remark upon anything, +though Amy, who watched her carefully, noticed the inquisitive look she +gave to the furniture, as if she were determined to know exactly what +everything was made of; and when Mrs Herbert left them, her first +question was, "So this is your largest room, Amy, is it?" + +"Yes," said Amy; "and we have a dining-room and study besides." + +"And is that all?" added Margaret. + +"All but the bedrooms," replied Amy. + +"Well! how odd it must be to live in such a tiny house!" continued +Margaret. "I should get so tired of it. To have lived all one's life in +three rooms! Fancy, Dora, how strange it must be!" + +"But," said Amy, "it does very well for mamma and me. You know many poor +people have only one." + +"That may be all right for poor people; but _you_ are a lady--you are +our cousin." + +"Oh!" said Dora, "it does not signify when people are accustomed to it. +And now Amy will be able to come and see us at Emmerton; and she can +walk about the grounds; and sometimes, I daresay, mamma will let her +have a drive in the carriage, which will make a nice change." + +Amy was extremely inclined to say that she never wished to do anything +of the kind, for she remembered that only a week before she was able +to walk all over Emmerton, both in the house and the park, without any +person's permission being required but her mamma's. + +"You will like that very much, shan't you, dear?" said Margaret, giving +her a kiss. + +The kiss was not returned; but Amy coloured, and only replied, that she +did not want any change. + +"I declare you look quite offended," exclaimed Margaret; "doesn't she, +Dora? Well! I would not be so touchy for a great deal." + +"I don't wish to be offended, and I am sure I could not bear to be +touchy," said Amy, with tears in her eyes; "only I am very happy with +mamma." + +"Of course," said Margaret; "but then you need not be angry with us +merely because we wish to give you a little pleasure; besides, it is so +unkind. I thought you would be fond of us, instead of getting so cross +in a minute." + +This was rather more than poor Amy could bear, for she had never been +blamed unjustly in her life, and believed that she must be in the wrong +whenever any fault was found with her. She was conscious, too, of having +felt angry; and sorrow for this, added to a slight remaining irritation +against her cousins, made her tears flow fast. + +"How silly!" exclaimed Dora. "We never meant to vex you; you will get us +all into a scrape if you cry, for my aunt will be back in a moment." + +"No one gets into a scrape with mamma," said Amy; "but I am sure it +would be me she would blame now; and I am so sorry I was cross." + +"Never mind anything more about it," said Margaret; "just look natural +again, and then we shall not care." + +Amy did her best to look natural, but her mamma's quick eye soon +perceived on her return that there had been something amiss; however, +she asked no questions, knowing that she should hear everything when +they were alone; and both Dora and Margaret were considerably relieved +when they found themselves seated at the dining-table, with Amy looking +as bright and happy as usual. + +"You must make a good luncheon, my dears," said Mrs Herbert; "for I +suppose you dine very late." + +"Oh no!" replied Dora, "this will be our dinner; mamma always dislikes +our being late." + +"She says it makes us ill, and spoils our complexions," added Margaret, +casting, at the same time, a glance at her white neck in the glass which +hung opposite to her; "so we always dine about two with Emily Morton and +Rose in the schoolroom." + +"Is Miss Morton very strict?" asked Amy. + +"Strict!" answered Dora, with a toss of her head, "Who should she be +strict with? She is not our governess." + +"But then she teaches you some things," said Amy. + +"Oh yes, music and drawing; but that any one can do. I should just as +soon think of attending to Morris as to her." + +"Only," said Mrs Herbert, in a quiet, grave tone, "that she is older +than you are, and is a lady by birth and education." + +Dora pouted and bit her lip, but she did not dare to make any pert +reply, and only showed her displeasure by the sulky way in which she +answered her aunt's further questions. Margaret was more communicative; +and Amy soon became amused with her account of Wayland, and all they +had been accustomed to do: but there was no interest shown for her in +return, for Margaret seemed to find every subject dull which did not +immediately relate to herself. She appeared unwilling, also, to mention +Miss Morton again, though Amy wished more to hear of her than of any +other person or thing; and when, after the dinner was ended, Mrs Herbert +suggested they should go into the garden, she determined to ask them why +they disliked her. + +"Do let me know," she said to Margaret, as they seated themselves in +the arbour, after exploring the not very spacious domain, "why you don't +like Miss Morton. I told mamma, last night, that you said you could not +bear her." + +"How ill-natured!" exclaimed Margaret; "I declare I never will tell you +anything again. Unless you promise not to repeat to aunt Herbert what we +say, I can assure you we shall take special care not to talk to you." + +"Oh Margaret!" said Amy, looking very much distressed; "indeed I meant +no harm. But I cannot make such a promise; for I always do tell mamma +everything, and she is never angry." + +"That won't do," replied Margaret: "you must, or we shall not talk to +you." + +"But if there is no harm in what you say," asked Amy, "why must I not +repeat it?" + +"It is no use arguing," replied Margaret. "I never could bear the notion +that every word I said would be told over again; and therefore, if you +will not promise, I will not talk, that is all." And she threw herself +back, and began picking flowers to pieces. Then, alter a few moments' +pause, she turned to Dora, and said, "That was a very ill-natured trick +she played on papa's birthday,--was it not?" + +Dora nodded assent; and Margaret looked at Amy, hoping to excite her +curiosity, for she was longing above all things to find some excuse +for breaking her resolution. But Amy sat immovable, only appearing +thoughtful and unhappy. A second silence ensued, which was broken again +by Margaret, who exclaimed, in a pettish tone, that the sun was so hot +it was not to be borne; she wondered how any one could have built an +arbour in such a position. + +Dora, though screened by the projecting branch of a tree, immediately +took up the parasol at her side; and Margaret began lamenting that she +had left hers in the house. + +"Can't you spare me yours, Dora?" she said; "you never remembered you +had it till I complained of the heat." + +"You always leave everything behind you," was Dora's answer; "and I am +sure I shall be burnt as brown as a berry if I don't shade myself. You +had better go in and fetch your own parasol, and that will make you +recollect it another time." + +"I know who left their handkerchief behind them only this morning," +retorted Margaret; "and I know who sent Emily Morton all over the house +to look for it." + +"That was only once in a way," said Dora. And here a long bickering +dialogue was carried on between the sisters, at the commencement of +which Amy disappeared; and before it had been decided which possessed +most disagreeable qualities, a subject that was discussed with great +warmth and earnestness, Margaret found herself sheltered from the sun by +the intervention of a parasol. + +"Where did you get it?" she exclaimed to Amy: "you did not bring it with +you." + +"No," replied Amy; "I got it from the house just now." + +"And did you really go in on purpose! Well, that was very good-natured, +I must say; and now I do think, as a reward, I will tell you about Emily +Morton." + +"A reward to herself, not to you, Amy," said Dora; "she has been dying +to tell you all the time. I would have done it, only I knew it would +come out if you had patience to wait." + +"But," replied Amy, in rather a timid voice, "I hope you understand, +Margaret, that I cannot make any promise about mamma." + +"Why don't you hear what she has to say first," said Dora, "and then +talk about the promise afterwards?" + +"I would rather settle it first," answered Amy, firmly; "I should not +have any pleasure in knowing it if I thought Margaret were mistaken +about me." + +"Well I never mind now," said Margaret, "I am not going to speak +treason; and you are so good-natured, Amy, I am sure you will never +repeat anything to get us into a scrape." + +"Perhaps I am not good-natured," persisted Amy; "so pray don't tell me +unless you quite like it." + +"But I do quite like it, now; and I am sure you are good-natured, and +so you shall hear. I want to tell you what Emily Morton did last year on +papa's birthday, and then I know you will hate her as much as we do. We +have always had quite a _fete_ given then; for papa says it was begun +when he came of age, and he does not like to give it up." + +"Oh!" said Amy, "that must have been what mamma was telling me about the +other day; she gave me a long account of it." + +"And did not aunt Herbert think it very delightful?" asked Dora. "Papa +always speaks of it with such pleasure." + +"Yes," answered Amy; "she says it was one of the happiest days of her +life." + +"It must be very nice," continued Dora, "to have every one looking up to +one and envying one. I dare say aunt Herbert wished she had been papa." + +"She said she wished it then," replied Amy; "but I am sure she does not +now." + +"What!--not to have two great houses, and heaps of servants, and plenty +of money?" said Margaret. + +"But," replied Amy, "mamma, when she told me the story, said that we all +had the promise of much greater things given us at our baptism, and so +it did not signify." + +"What do you mean, Amy?" asked Dora, in a tone of extreme surprise. +"Great things promised us at our baptism! I never knew anything I had +either given or promised me then, excepting my name, and my old purple +Bible and Prayer-book." + +"Oh Dora!" exclaimed Amy, "pray do not talk so; I am sure it must be +very wrong; for mamma says that it has been the greatest thing in all my +life, and that if I do as I promised I would then, I shall be quite sure +of being happy when I die: and every year, on the day of my baptism, she +makes me read over the service, and talks to me about it." + +"Then it is very strange, that is all I can say," replied Dora, "I never +in my life before heard any one say that baptism was any good besides +giving a child a name." + +Amy looked still more shocked. "Oh! but Dora," she said, very gravely, +"indeed, it must be a great good; for you know when we were baptized, +God gave us His Holy Spirit, that we might be able to do our duty." + +"I don't understand what you mean, Amy," said Dora, hastily, "and I +don't think you understand yourself, so we will not talk any more about +it. Do, Margaret, go on about Emily Morton." + +"I will," said Margaret, "if you will not interrupt me so. It was +last year, Amy, on the day of the _fete;_ and two of my aunts, mamma's +sisters, and my uncle, Sir Henry Charlton, came to Wayland to keep it. +Uncle Henry knows a great deal about drawing, and he always likes to see +ours; and he had promised us a long time before, that if we could +show him six good drawings on papa's birthday, he would give us each a +beautiful picture done by one of the first artists in London. I worked +very hard at first, and then I got a little tired, but I made sure I +should be able to finish them in time; only, somehow or other, I was so +hurried at last, for we had some new dresses to be tried on, and there +were some songs to be practised, and there were a good many people +staying in the house, that I had only five finished. I was in a great +fright, and my only hope was that uncle Henry would not count them; +but, in the morning, after he had looked at Dora's, I watched him count +_them,_ and then I thought I had no chance; but when I came to show +mine, I found that by mistake one of Emily Morton's had got amongst +them, which made them just right, and she was not in the room, so I had +no fear of anything being said; and it was such a beauty I was sure my +uncle would be pleased. Well! he looked at them all, and said they were +very good, and was admiring Emily Morton's especially, when, to my great +horror, in she came, and he immediately called out to her to look at the +drawings with him. I could not imagine what to do; and at last I thought +perhaps she would be good-natured for once in her life, so I went to her +directly, and whispered all about it, and asked her to let it pass, or I +should lose my beautiful picture; and really, Amy, it was worth a great +deal of money; and, do you know, she actually declared she would not do +it. I know I looked miserable, and I never begged so hard for anything +in my life; and at last I was obliged to give it up, for uncle Henry +began to wonder what we were talking about, and so I ran out of the +room, and then it all came out. And there was such a great fuss; uncle +Henry preached me a sermon, and papa and mamma were so cross; in fact, I +never got into such a scrape in my life before, and all because of Emily +Morton. Now, shouldn't you hate her, Amy, if you were me?" + +Amy was silent. + +"Oh!" continued Margaret, "you could not be so unkind as to take her +part." + +"But," said Amy, "it seems as if she were right." + +"How can that be? I am sure no one can be right who is unkind." + +"No," said Amy, looking a little perplexed; "but then it would have been +deceit." + +"Deceit! what deceit?" asked Margaret; "she had nothing to do with it; +all I wanted was for her to hold her tongue." + +"But your uncle would have thought the drawing was yours, when it was +not." + +"And what harm would that have done? I will venture to say I could have +finished just as good a one if I had tried; it was only a sketch. No, +no, it was mere ill-nature--she wished for the picture herself." + +"I tell you what, Margaret," said Dora, "she did not wish any such +thing, because uncle Henry pressed her to have it, and she refused, and +made him put it by till this year, that you might try again." + +"I hate such hypocrites," said Margaret, "and she is so cold-hearted +too. I used to kiss her and love her when first she came, but she never +seemed to care a bit about it; and now I never go near her, if I can +help it." + +"I should not mind anything," said Dora, "if she did not put one down +so; but she has such a way of saying things are right, I can't bear +it--as if we did not know what was right as well as she does. I shall +teach her the difference between Miss Harrington and Miss Morton, I can +tell her, when I come out." + +"And then, people call her pretty," interrupted Margaret. "It makes me +so angry, sometimes, to hear them go on about her beautiful eyes, and +her black hair. She need have some beauty, for she spends quite enough +time in dressing herself, I know." + +Amy listened to these remarks in silent astonishment, and with an +increasing feeling of dislike to Miss Morton. Not that she agreed with +Margaret as to her unkindness in the affair of the picture, for her +strict sense of what was right and sincere told her, in a moment, that +she could not have acted otherwise; but it was impossible to hear so +much said against a perfect stranger, without thinking that there must +be some foundation for it, especially as Amy was accustomed to be very +particular herself in everything she said, and had not yet learned to +suspect her cousins of exaggeration. + +"How very sorry you must be," she exclaimed, at length, "that Miss +Morton ever came to you!" + +"Sorry!" repeated Margaret. "Yes, I think we are sorry; but one thing I +can tell you, Amy, she will not stay with us long. I resolved, directly +after that business of the picture, that I would never rest till I got +her out of the house; and Dora feels the same." + +"I beg your pardon," replied Dora; "I do not care enough about her; +as long as she keeps to her own room, and does not plague me with +constantly ringing in my ears that things are right, she may stay or +not, as she likes." + +"But," said Amy, "you cannot send her away; it must be your mamma." + +"What a simpleton you are!" exclaimed Margaret, laughing. "There are a +hundred ways of getting rid of a person you don't like; and I tell you +I should have done it long ago, if it had not been for Rose, who is +so fond of her, and such a pet of mamma's, that she is humoured in +everything. Why, how surprised you look, and frightened too." + +"Only," said Amy, "I thought that my aunt would do just as she pleased, +without asking any one." + +"I can't explain," said Margaret, "if you cannot understand; but you +will learn all about it when you have been a little at Emmerton with us; +and you will see, too, how she spoils Rose; she makes her so foolish, +that she cannot bear to go to any one else, except mamma, when she is in +the room." + +"Then Miss Morton must be very kind to her," said Amy. + +"Kind! Yes, to be sure, she is; she knows quite well that if it were not +for Rose, she would not stay long in our family." + +"And does she teach Rose entirely?" asked Amy. + +"Yes, now she does, though, I believe, mamma never intended it at first. +But there was so much to be done with us, that it was very inconvenient +having so young a child at the same time; and so Emily Morton offered to +take the charge of her, and she has gone on ever since. It is very odd +of mamma allowing it, when she dislikes governesses so; but I think it +would break Rose's heart if there were to be any alteration." + +"And what have you to do with her, then?" + +"Oh! we have regular music and drawing lessons twice a-week, and she +attends to us, at other times, besides; and then we breakfast, and dine, +and drink tea with her, and make her useful when we want her. She does +everything almost for Rose; but that is her own choice. But I daresay +you will know all about her ways soon; for when papa and mamma were +talking of coming to Emmerton, I heard them say it would be a great +advantage for you to learn of her; and I daresay they will arrange for +you to have music and drawing lessons with us. It will be so nice being +together often." + +And Margaret gave Amy a kiss, which was very heartily returned. Amy +looked at Dora, expecting something of the same kind from her; but Dora +was playing with her watch-chain, and appeared to be taking no notice. + +"I shall like being with you," replied Amy, "but I shall not like to +learn of Miss Morton. Mamma is so kind, I don't know what I should do if +any one were cross to me." + +"But is your mamma quite regular with you?" asked Margaret. + +"She used to be," said Amy; "but lately she has been very often ill--she +gets so unhappy about papa." + +"Oh!" observed Margaret, "I heard papa and mamma talking about her last +night, after you were gone, and they said----" + +"Hush, Margaret!" said Dora, turning suddenly round; "it does not +signify what they said. How can you be so thoughtless!" she added, in a +lower tone. + +Margaret was about to make an angry reply, but she was prevented by Amy, +who anxiously begged to be told everything. Again Margaret would have +spoken, but Dora a second time interposed; and at the same moment Mrs +Herbert appeared, and the conversation was interrupted. As they returned +to the house, however, Amy remarked that Dora contrived to speak a +few words to her sister alone; and, when she afterwards repeated her +entreaty, Margaret's reply was, that Dora and she thought it better not +to tell. This did not satisfy Amy; but she could not urge Margaret to +do anything she felt was wrong; and, after pondering in her own mind +for some minutes what Mrs Harrington could possibly have said, she, as +usual, quieted her uneasiness by determining to talk to her mamma in the +evening. + +"The carriage is waiting for you, my dears," said Mrs Herbert, as they +walked towards the house; "and, if you could find room in it for Amy and +me, I should like to go with you as far as the rectory; for Mrs Walton +has asked us to spend the evening with her, and I am always glad to be +saved a walk." + +Amy looked delighted, and ran up-stairs with great glee to get ready; +and Margaret followed, offering to help her. + +"Whom shall you see at the rectory?" she said, as Amy was expressing +her happiness in rather ecstatic terms. "Are there children of your own +age?" + +"No," replied Amy; "no one but Mr and Mrs Walton; they had one child, +but it died." + +"But what shall you do? It must be so dreadfully dull with only old +people." + +"Oh no! it is never dull,--they are so kind, and the place is so pretty; +and sometimes Mrs Walton tells me stories about what she did when she +was a little girl; or, if they talk about things I don't care for, +there is a beautiful large book of fairy tales, and I sit up in a little +window, away by myself, and fancy that all the things I read about +happened in the forest. I sometimes make out all the places just as if +they were real. You know one can fancy almost anything in a wood; there +are so many little winding walks and odd places, and there are some +green spots of turf, with large trees all round, which look just like +the fairies' homes. I have named them all after the stories, and when I +read I can see them quite plainly in my mind." + +"Well! that is a strange way of amusing yourself," exclaimed Margaret, +in a tone of astonishment; "though, to be sure, I can understand +the pleasure of reading a story, but then it must be about real +people,--lords and ladies, I like! I never cared in the least about +fairies and such unnatural things; and I quite wonder to see Rose so +pleased with a little book she has about them." + +Amy was in too great a hurry to reply, but dressed herself as quickly as +possible, and in a few minutes was ready for her visit. The old rector +was standing at the door as Mr Harrington's carriage drove up, and +looked rather alarmed at the sight of such an unexpected number of +visitors; but Mrs Herbert soon relieved his mind by introducing her +nieces to him; and, if Dora had not been occupied with the contrast +between the simplicity of the rectory and the grandeur of Emmerton, and +Margaret with ridiculing the curiously-cut coat, brown wig, and gold +shoe-buckles, which had been Mr Walton's constant style of dress for +the last forty years, both might have been pleased with the affectionate +interest expressed for them, and the many inquiries which were made for +every member of the family. As it was, Mrs Herbert was hurt at their +careless replies, and felt as angry as was possible for one so gentle, +when she heard Margaret's loud whisper to her sister, "Did you ever see +such a quiz?" + +Apparently Mr Walton did not observe this, for he still continued +entreating them to come in, and assuring them that Mrs Walton would +never forgive him if he allowed them to depart without her seeing them. +Dora, who was always an inch taller and several years older, in her own +estimation, whenever she found herself mistress of her father's handsome +carriage, drew herself up with a consequential air, and regretted that +it would not be in their power to stop, for they wished to be home by a +certain hour. + +"Is that really the case, my love?" said Mrs Herbert. "Could you not +spare one moment for Mrs Walton? She knew your mother when she was a +child, and she has been longing to see you." + +"I dare say mamma will call in a day or two," said Dora; "we really are +in a hurry now." + +"I will undertake to make your peace with your mamma," said Mrs Herbert. +"You would not be detained five minutes." + +"I really am sorry," persisted Dora, quite proud of the power of saying +"No" to persons older than herself; "but I am afraid we must go home." + +Mr Walton, who had been listening to the debate with a mixed expression +of amusement and regret in his countenance, now came forward, and, +laying his hand on Dora's arm, said, "My dear young lady, you are not +accustomed to have a will of your own, I can quite see, because you are +so glad to exercise it. Now, I never like to prevent young people from +pleasing themselves, so you shall follow your inclination, and go home; +but whenever this same inclination shall take another turn and bring +you to the rectory, I will promise you a sincere welcome for the sake of +your father and mother, and auld lang syne; and, now, good-bye." + +Dora felt abashed by the kindness with which this was said, as well +as by the reproof which she knew was intended; but she put on an +indifferent air, and, giving a hasty nod to Amy, and a few parting words +to her aunt, reassured her offended dignity by calling out "home," in +a loud voice, to the footman, who was standing at the door, and the +carriage drove off. For a moment a slight pang of envy crossed +Amy's mind, as her cousins' grandeur was contrasted with her own +insignificance; but it was soon forgotten when she found herself seated, +as usual, on a low stool by the side of Mrs Walton, who, with one hand +placed upon hers, and the other fondly smoothing her dark hair, heard +with real pleasure her description of all she had been doing since her +last visit; and, as Amy became more and more animated, the old rector +himself was attracted to the window, and for a few moments, while +watching the bright eyes and sweet smile of his young favourite, could +almost have imagined he was again listening to the voice of his own +child. Mrs Walton was several years younger than her husband, but +rheumatic attacks of a very painful kind had rendered her nearly +helpless, so that the difference between them appeared much less than +it really was. Age and infirmity had subdued her naturally quick, eager +disposition, into a calm and almost heavenly peace, without in the least +diminishing her interest in everything that was passing around her. Her +mind, like her dress, seemed to be totally different from that of the +everyday world; the dress--was fashioned according to the custom of +years gone by; the mind--of those which were to come; and few could +converse with her without feelings of respect, almost amounting to +awe, for her goodness, her patience, her meekness, her charity, +her abstraction from all earthly cares. Amy could not as yet fully +appreciate all her excellence, though she could understand it in some +degree. She had never heard Mrs Walton spoken of but with reverence; +and, perhaps, half the pleasure she felt in talking so freely to her +arose from the consciousness of being petted and loved by one to whom +persons so much older than herself agreed in looking up. There was +an additional reason for Amy's enjoyment on this evening; she had, +willingly and unknown to her mother, resolved to give up her favourite +volume of fairy tales, that she might go on with the frock for Susan +Reynolds; and even before the tea-things were brought in, she produced +her basket, and began working industriously; and from having thus denied +her own inclination in one instance, everything else appeared doubly +delightful. + +"Why, my little woman," said the rector, as he remarked her unusual +occupation, "what makes your fingers so busy to-night? I thought you +always studied the lives of the fairies whenever you came here." + +Mrs Herbert, who had been talking at the other end of the room, turned +to see what Amy was about; and her smile was quite a sufficient reward +for the sacrifice which had been made. "I did not think of reminding you +of your work, my darling," she said; "but you will not regret giving up +your pleasure for one evening for the sake of another." + +"And who is this other?" asked the rector. + +Mrs Herbert told the story; and spoke highly in praise of Susan, and her +attention to her mother. + +"She is in good hands," said Mr Walton, "I never knew either Mr or +Mrs Saville take up a case of the kind without managing to be of great +service; and whether the poor woman should live or die, you may depend +upon the children having found a friend for life." + +"And, my dear child," added Mrs Walton, "you will not forget you have a +second purse at Emmerton rectory if it should be needed." + +"I should be very ungrateful if I were to forget it," replied Mrs +Herbert, as she pressed the worn but delicate hand which was held out +to her; "though, now that my brother is at the Hall, I think my first +appeal must be to him." + +"I suspect I shall have a regular jubilee celebrated in the parish," +said the rector. "Do you remember the first we ever had, some twenty +years ago, when your brother came of age? We have not had such another +since." + +"There was one other great day, surely," said Mrs Walton. "My memory +sometimes seems to get sadly confused even about things which passed +years ago, and which, they say, are always remembered the best; but, +surely, there was one other _fete_--what was it for?" + +Amy looked up from her work, and whispered in Mrs Walton's ear--"Mamma +and aunt Edith's wedding-day." + +Mrs Herbert caught the words, and the tears started to her eyes. She +turned away, and, taking up a newspaper which lay upon the table, began +looking over the contents. + +"Ah! yes, my love, you are right," said Mrs Walton, in a low tone. And +Mr Walton, anxious to change the subject, made some remarks upon a great +fire which had taken place in a neighbouring village, and the account of +which was in that day's paper. + +"Amy," said Mrs Herbert, "there is a very interesting story of the +conduct of a little girl during the fire; you may read it if you like." + +Amy took the paper and read what her mother pointed out; and as she came +to the end her eye caught the first words of another paragraph, and she +exclaimed, "Dear mamma, here is something about India." + +Mr Walton looked very grave. "It is nothing good I am afraid," he said; +"I was in hopes you would have heard it before you came here: they say +the war has broken out again." + +"The war!" repeated Mrs Herbert, in a suppressed tone of deep anxiety, +as she seized the paper; "but it may be nothing to me." + +The paragraph was short, but decisive. There was no doubt the war had +recommenced, and that the chance of obtaining tidings of Colonel Herbert +was less than ever,--at least such was Mrs Herbert's fear, though Mr +Walton did his utmost to convince her it could make no difference; but +whilst she listened to his words, they did not sink into her heart; +and she turned from the thought of her increased anxiety if her husband +continued silent, to the danger of the war should he return into it, +till it seemed impossible to find comfort in anything. Amy stood by her +mother in silent suffering; she felt as if she had been the cause of +inflicting the pain by calling her attention to the paper; but she could +do nothing to relieve her, and was obliged to wait patiently, though +sorrowfully, till her usual self-command was restored. After some time, +Mrs Herbert was again able to allude to the subject of the war, and she +then spoke of the probabilities and dangers which it involved, without +hesitation; but she was so much shaken by the unexpected news, that, +notwithstanding the disappointment to all parties, no objection was +made when she proposed returning home much earlier than usual. It was +a melancholy conclusion to Amy's evening; but Mr Walton endeavoured to +comfort her by promising, if possible, to call very early the next day +to see her; and Mrs Walton held out the hope of another visit very soon. +Amy's chief thought, however, was for her mamma; and a wish arose in her +mind, which she had often felt before, that she were a few years older, +and could be of greater service; and it was not till she had again +received the often-repeated assurance of being now Mrs Herbert's +greatest earthly treasure, and a real comfort to her in her distress, +that she could lie down happily to sleep, even though she had unburdened +her mind of the chief events of the day, and of the secret between her +cousins. Amy was not aware that, by doing this, she added to her mamma's +anxiety, for everything convinced Mrs Herbert, more and more, that Dora +and Margaret were very different companions from those she would have +chosen for her child. But there was little to be feared while Amy +continued so perfectly open; and at any rate, it was better that she +should be with them, whilst her mother was near to warn her against +evil, than become acquainted with them, for the first time, when she +might be obliged to live with them entirely. The secret, too, gave Mrs +Herbert a pang, though she tried to persuade herself of what, in fact, +was nearly the truth, that Dora had heard of the renewal of the war, and +of the increased anxiety which it would bring; happily she did not know +that Mr Harrington had also expressed his opinion, that it would have +been useless to expect any further tidings of Colonel Herbert, even if +the peace had continued; for he firmly believed that nothing but some +dreadful event could have occasioned their total ignorance of his +movements. Mrs Herbert, indeed, could hardly give Dora credit for so +much thoughtfulness; but in this she did her injustice. Dora could often +be thoughtful and kind when her pride did not stand in the way; and she +could be sorry for the sufferings of others, when they were forced upon +her notice, though she had never been taught to be upon the watch for +them; whilst even her haughtiness did not prevent her from feeling an +interest in the quiet grief which was expressed in every feature of her +aunt's countenance, and which seemed constantly to check every happier +feeling. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +Several days passed before Amy again saw her cousins--there were so many +arrangements to be made in their new home, that no convenient moment +could be found for paying a visit to the cottage; and during this time +Mrs Herbert had very much recovered her tranquillity, and began even +to hope that the war, terrible though it seemed, might be the means of +bringing her some tidings of Colonel Herbert. + +The last letter she had received from him had mentioned his intention of +making an expedition into the interior of the country; and a friend, +who had returned to England soon afterwards, confirmed the fact of his +departure. His silence might be accounted for, by his having entrusted +letters to private hands, and by the difficulty of communication in the +distant province to which he had gone; but now that the war had again +broken out, she could not avoid hoping that he would make every effort +to return, and that she should see his name in the public despatches, +if anything should occur to prevent his writing. The dangers to which he +might be exposed, and which had at first so startled her, seemed nothing +to the wearying anxiety she had lately suffered; and even the mention of +him in the list of the wounded, she felt, would be a relief. + +Amy could not entirely enter into all her mother's solicitude, but she +loved to hear her talk of Colonel Herbert, and to fancy what he must be +like from the miniature which had been taken before he left England; and +she remarked, also, that it was a relief to her mamma to speak of him; +and she seldom appeared so cheerful as when she had been either spending +half an hour alone in her own chamber, or answering the questions which +Amy was never tired of asking. An accidental allusion, indeed, would +often bring the tears into Mrs Herbert's eyes, but a lengthened +conversation had a very different effect, for the thought of her husband +was associated with all that was excellent and noble; and as she dwelt +upon his high character, and the principles with which all the actions +of his life were imbued, she could not doubt that the blessing of Heaven +would attend him wherever he might be. + +The constant pressure of anxiety rendered the presence of strangers +in general very painful to Mrs Herbert; and the only person who was +admitted to see her at all times was Mr Walton. Whatever, therefore, +might be the interest felt in her brother's family, she did not regret +that the distance from the Hall was likely to prevent anything like +daily intercourse; and Amy, too, was not sorry, for her cousins did not +quite please her; and, though she had been very much amused by them, +she was conscious that only with her mamma could she feel perfectly safe +from harm. There was, in consequence, a mixture of alarm and pleasure +in her mind upon being told, about three days after her visit to the +rectory, that she was to spend the next day at the Hall, going quite +early and returning late; and the alarm was not a little increased +when her mamma read the postscript of the note:--"I am anxious that +Amy should become acquainted with Miss Morton, and get rid of her fears +before she begins taking lessons." + +"What do you say to that, Amy?" asked Mrs Herbert. "Do you think you +shall be able to go twice a week, sometimes, perhaps, without me, to +learn music and drawing of a stranger?" + +"Oh mamma! indeed I don't know. But when did you settle it? You never +told me. Is it really to be so? I don't think I can go without you." + +"And I think," said Mrs Herbert, "that you can and will do everything +that is thought right. Is not that the proper way of looking at it? +It does not sound very agreeable at first, but, by and by, you will be +sorry when the day comes to stay at home." + +"Oh no, mamma! never. I shall always dislike learning of Miss Morton; my +cousins have said so much against her." + +"It is rather hard to make up your mind beforehand," said Mrs Herbert; +"you must try and judge for yourself whether she is really everything +they represent; you know it is possible they may be in the wrong." + +Amy recollected Margaret's complaint about the picture, and felt that +this was quite true, but her prejudice still remained; and when, on +their arrival at the Hall, she was told to find her way by herself to +the oriel-room, which was now converted into a schoolroom, she hung back +in some fear; and though at length obliged to go, it was with reluctant +steps; and for several moments she stood with the handle of the door in +her hand, unable to summon courage to enter the room alone. + +"Who can that be fidgeting at the door?" was exclaimed by some one +inside; and Amy in despair opened it. + +Dora was seated at the window reading, Margaret was drawing, and Miss +Morton writing, with little Rose on a high stool by her side, intently +occupied with a sum in subtraction. + +The appearance of the room was totally changed since Amy had last seen +it. Books, music, drawings, prints, and work, were to be seen in every +direction; the old damask chairs had been removed, and lighter ones +introduced; the table had been covered with a handsome cloth, and the +floor with a new carpet; a cabinet piano had taken the place of the +oak chiffonier; and the only thing that Amy fully recognised as an old +acquaintance was her aunt Edith's picture, which still hung over the +mantel-shelf. Miss Morton came forward to meet her, and shook hand; +so kindly that Amy's prejudice was for the instant shaken. Margaret +overpowered her with kisses; and Dora, in her usual indifferent manner, +just spoke, and then again took up her book; while little Rose quite +forgot the difficult sum, as she sat with her eyes fixed upon her new +cousin. + +Amy felt very awkward, and as if she had intruded where she had no +business; but Miss Morton soon relieved her embarrassment by giving her +a portfolio of drawings to look at, and asking some questions about her +own occupations, in a voice which sounded more like her mamma's than any +she had yet heard at Emmerton. + +"You must not mind our being rather silent now," she said, at length, +when Amy seemed more comfortable, "for Miss Harrington is reading for +her mamma, and talking interrupts her." + +"Come and sit by me, Amy," said Margaret; "and see how I am getting on +with my drawing." + +"It would be better not," observed Miss Morton; "whispering is quite as +likely to distract your sister's attention as talking out loud." + +Margaret did not take any notice of this advice, but made a sign to her +cousin to come to the table. + +"Not now, Margaret," said Amy; "I shall be quite well amused with these +drawings." + +A cloud passed over Margaret's very pretty face, and, for the moment, +she looked positively ugly, while she muttered, "How unkind! cross +thing! I knew she would always interfere." + +Amy was vexed, but did not move, and soon became interested in watching +Miss Morton's manner to little Rose. It was very quiet and very gentle, +but it was quite clear that her will was law; for Rose, whose thoughts +had been diverted by the unusual visitor, found great difficulty in +finishing her task, and was turned back several times without daring to +make a complaint, though a few tears filled her bright hazel eyes, when, +after three attempts, the sum was again pronounced incorrect. Margaret, +forgetting that she had accused Miss Morton of spoiling Rose, and +only anxious to prove her in the wrong, cast a look of triumph at Amy, +certain that she would agree with her in thinking it very harsh. But +Amy, though so young, was quite capable of discovering the difference +between firmness and severity, and did not at all dislike Miss Morton +for being particular. + +"Indeed, you must be quick, Rose," said Miss Morton, as Dora closed her +book, and Margaret prepared to put up her drawing; "you see your sisters +are ready for dinner, and we are to have it to-day half an hour earlier +than usual, that we may walk to Colworth; you would not like to stay at +home." + +Poor little Rose looked very unhappy, and began counting the figures +again; but her haste only made her the more confused. + +"It is very hard," she said, as she offered the slate again to Miss +Morton, "and Amy is here." + +Miss Morton smiled, and so sweetly, that it seemed impossible to be +afraid of her. + +"Well! that is an excuse, I will allow, only it must not be made often; +but come and stand by me, and we will do it together." + +Rose dried her eyes; and in a very short time the sum was finished, and +she went with Miss Morton to get ready for dinner. + +"What do you think of her?" asked Dora and Margaret in one breath, +almost before Miss Morton was out of the room. + +"She seems rather strict," replied Amy; "but I don't think I should be +very much afraid of her." + +"But do you think she is pretty?" inquired Margaret, eagerly. + +"Oh yes!" answered Amy, "very pretty; prettier than almost any person I +ever saw before." + +Margaret's lip curled, and, in a short, contemptuous tone, she said, +"There is no accounting for taste. To be sure, you have not seen many +people in your life; but, for my part, I can't say I like such black +beauties." + +"Nor white ones either," said Dora. "I never heard you praise a pretty +person yet. I don't think Emily Morton such an angel as most people do; +but she is twenty times prettier than you are, Margaret, or ever will +be." + +"That is as others think," said Margaret, casting a self-satisfied look +at herself in the glass. "We must go and prepare for dinner now." And +she ran out of the room. + +Dora was about to follow, but, recollecting her cousin, she stopped, +and said, "You will not mind staying here for a few minutes by yourself, +shall you, dear, while the servants are bringing the dinner?" + +Amy thought she should have preferred going with her cousins to +being alone in the room with the tall men-servants; but she made no +objections, and Dora left her. + +During the short interval that elapsed before their return, she amused +herself by endeavouring to fancy what Emmerton used to be, and comparing +it with its present condition; but she had chosen a difficult task. All +was so changed within a few days, that it seemed as if months had +gone by since her last visit with her mamma; and when at last she had +succeeded in recollecting exactly the position of the chairs and tables, +and the cold, desolate look of the oriel-room, she was startled from her +dream by the voice of the gray-haired butler, who, in a very respectful +manner, begged pardon for disturbing her, but wished to know if Miss +Harrington were ready for dinner; and, after such an interruption, a +further effort was useless. + +Dora sat at the head of the table, though she could not carve, which +appeared very strange to Amy; and she remarked, too, that her cousins +addressed Miss Morton by her Christian name, but that she in reply +always spoke of Miss Harrington and Miss Margaret; indeed, in every +possible way, there seemed to be a determination to show her that she +was considered quite an inferior person. + +"Will you all walk to Colworth this afternoon?" asked Miss Morton. "Rose +and I are going on a little business to Mrs Saville." + +"I thought it was settled," replied Dora; "we said we would at +breakfast-time." + +"Yes," answered Miss Morton; "but I fancied I had heard something about +a wish of your mamma's, that you should go in the carriage with her." + +"Oh! for a stupid drive. I believe there was something said; but I had +much rather go to Colworth." + +"But what will your mamma wish?" inquired Miss Morton, very gently. + +"I can arrange with mamma myself, I hope," was the reply; "I prefer +going to Colworth." + +"You must allow me to beg that you will mention it to Mrs Harrington +first," said Miss Morton; "she was very much annoyed with me for walking +with you yesterday, when she wanted you." + +Dora's only answer was, what she considered a very dignified look; and +at this moment a servant entered with a message, desiring that Miss +Harrington would be ready to go out with her mamma at three o'clock. + +"I know what it is for!" exclaimed Dora; "we are to call at Rochford +Park. Mamma wants me to gel acquainted with Miss Cunningham, and I am +sure I don't want to know her." + +"Is not Lady Rochford a great invalid?" asked Miss Morton, anxious to +divert Dora's attention. + +"Yes, and that is the reason mamma is going to see her. I believe they +were at school together, or something of that kind." + +"I have heard it is such a beautiful place," said Amy; "I should so like +to see it." + +"Then I wish you would go instead of me," replied Dora; "I am sick of +beautiful places. What is the use of going six miles to see what you +have just as well at home! It is all very natural for people who live in +cottages to wish to look at fine houses; but really it is far too much +trouble for me." + +"It is not merely the seeing fine houses," said Miss Morton, "but the +grounds and the scenery may be very different. I should soon get tired +of looking at large rooms and gilt furniture; but trees and flowers must +always give one pleasure." + +"There cannot be any better flowers at Rochford Park than we had at +Wayland," persisted Dora; "every one said the conservatory was the +finest in the county." + +"Yes," replied Miss Morton; "but now you are at Emmerton, it may be +different." + +"I never could see any great pleasure in looking at other persons' +beautiful things," continued Dora; "and really I don't know what right +Lord Rochford has to have anything better than papa. I heard mamma say +yesterday, that our family was much older than his, and yet people make +such a fuss about him; and he is going to be an earl soon, and then Miss +Cunningham will be lady something." + +"Lady Lucy Cunningham," said Margaret. "Morris told me about it this +morning, and Bridget told her. I must say I should like to be called +'lady' of all things; should not you, Amy?" + +"Yes," answered Amy, "I think,--I am sure I should." + +Miss Morton smiled. "It would not make you at all happier, my dear," +she said; "because, if you cared about it, you would be proud and +disagreeable, and few persons would love you; and if you did not, you +might just as well be Miss Herbert." + +"But is there any harm in wishing it?" asked Amy. + +"We can scarcely help wishing for things," replied Miss Morton; "I mean +we can scarcely help the wish coming into our minds; but I think it is +wrong not to try and get rid of it, and be contented with the situation +in which we are placed." + +Amy felt that this was exactly what her mamma would have said, and she +began to forget all that had been told her against Miss Morton, and to +wish she would go on talking; but it seemed quite an effort to her to +say so much, for she spoke in a very low, timid voice, and when she had +finished, looked at Dora, as if expecting that something impertinent +would follow. + +Dora, however, took no notice of her observation, but declared she would +rather be Miss Harrington than anything else. "I heard papa talking to +some people the other day," she said; "and he told them he would much +prefer being an old country gentleman to a new-made nobleman. And I am +sure I agree with him; it must be all pride and nonsense to wish for a +title." + +Miss Morton roused herself again to speak. "I am afraid," she said, +"there is just as much pride, my dear Miss Harrington, in your caring +about belonging to an old family, and living in a large house, and +having money, and servants, and carriages, as in considering it a great +thing to have a title. Everything of the kind tempts us to be proud." + +"Then it is happy for those who have no such temptation," said Dora, +scornfully. + +"Yes, indeed, it is," replied Miss Morton, so meekly, and yet so +earnestly, that any one less haughty than Dora must have been touched. +But Dora was perfectly insensible; she did not, however, continue the +subject; and finishing her dinner quickly, saying she had several things +to do before three o'clock, without making any apology to Miss Morton, +left the room directly the dessert was placed on the table. + +Margaret expressed satisfaction at her sister's absence, as she declared +it was much more agreeable to her to have her cousin all to herself +during their walk; but Amy would willingly have lingered by Miss +Morton's side, to hear something of her conversation with Rose. + +Margaret, however, insisted upon her keeping at a considerable distance, +whilst she again repeated the history of all she had been accustomed to +do at Wayland, adding to it a description of her last new dresses, and +the beautiful presents she had received on her birthday, until Amy's +curiosity was greatly excited, and once more a feeling of envy arose as +she thought of the difference between herself and her cousin. But she +was just beginning to be aware of this fault; and although the wish to +have similar presents returned again and again, as Margaret eagerly told +over all her treasures, it was accompanied each time by the knowledge +that it was wrong; and she felt sorry and vexed with herself, as she +remembered how little her mamma would approve of what was passing in her +mind. Still the conversation was very amusing, and the time passed so +quickly that Amy was quite surprised when she found herself at the lane +leading to Colworth parsonage. A girl, whom she immediately recognised +as Susan Reynolds, was standing by the shrubbery gate; and Amy's first +impulse was to speak to her: but she was crying bitterly; and Amy, +though longing to know the cause of her tears, was too timid to +interrupt her, and, without making any remark, followed Miss Morton and +her cousins into the house. When, however, the first restraint of +the visit had a little diminished, and Mrs Saville began asking some +questions about her mamma, she ventured to inquire whether Susan's +mother was worse, and whether this had occasioned her distress. + +"Poor Susan has enough to make her unhappy," said Mrs Saville. "Her +mother died last night; and though there is in fact nothing to grieve +for, as she was a truly religious person, yet it is a dreadful trial +to her children; and Susan is left with the sole charge of her little +brothers and sisters; but she is an extremely well-disposed girl, and I +hope we shall manage to do something for her by and by." + +"I believe you have a very good school in the village," said Miss +Morton. "Mrs Harrington is anxious to take a young girl into her +service, to be under the lady's maid; and she thought you would excuse +her troubling you with asking whether you could recommend one. I rather +think several of her best servants were educated at Colworth." + +"I am afraid," said Mrs Saville, "that it will be rather a difficult +thing to find one suited to the situation. The girl I should have chosen +has just left us, and the others are all too young." + +Amy thought of Susan Reynolds, but she did not like to name her. Mrs +Saville, however, did, to her great satisfaction. "I can answer," she +said, "for her good principles, cleverness, and sweet temper, though +I know nothing of her capabilities in other ways; of course, she would +have everything to learn--but I think you would find her very docile. +It would be an admirable thing if you can answer for her being kept +strictly under the eye of the lady's maid; for she must do something for +herself, as the grandmother, who will take care of the younger children, +will find them quite a sufficient charge; and if she should not suit Mrs +Harrington, she can return to me at any moment. What she will say to the +notion herself, I cannot tell, for just now she is so overpowered with +grief, that she can think of nothing but her mother. But I will take her +to Emmerton in about a week, or ten days' time, if Mrs Harrington would +like to see her." + +"Do have her," whispered Amy to Miss Morton, feeling extremely anxious +that the affair should be settled at once, and, in her eagerness, +forgetting her shyness. + +"It is not for me to decide, my dear," said Miss Morton. "I am afraid +your aunt will hardly be inclined to have a stranger." + +"But she is so good," continued Amy; "and she has such a nice manner." + +Miss Morton smiled, and said, that "even these qualifications might not +be all that would be required." And then, turning to Mrs Saville, she +added, "If you could bring the little girl to Emmerton, you would, I am +sure, confer a favour on Mrs Harrington, for her time, at present, is +very much occupied." + +Mrs Saville willingly agreed to this; and Amy left the parsonage in +great delight, having fully settled in her own mind, that Susan Reynolds +would soon be established at Emmerton, and fancying what a happy change +it would be, from the miserable hovel in which she had last seen her. +She did not know that no earthly comforts could make amends for the +loss of her home; and no earthly friend, even if she should find one at +Emmerton, could be to her as her mother; for no one can fully understand +the blessing of a mother's love, till it is taken away for ever. + +As they passed the shrubbery gate, they perceived Susan standing in the +same position in which they had left her, and still crying, as if her +heart would break. + +"Do you think I might speak to her?" asked Amy of Miss Morton. "I should +like to tell her how sorry I am about her mother." + +Miss Morton hesitated. "Perhaps," she said, "the poor girl would rather +not be noticed; but, if you wish it very much, you may just speak, and +pass on." + +"I should like to do it, if you would go with me," replied Amy. "But I +never saw any one so unhappy before." + +Emily Morton sighed as she thought of Mrs Herbert's pale face, and how +soon poor Amy might be called to grieve from the same cause; and then, +in an instant, a scene which was never entirely banished from her mind, +came vividly before her,--the darkened chamber, the anxious faces, the +tears of overpowering sorrow, which were ever associated in her mind, +with the recollection of her own mother's deathbed; and, without making +any further objection, she followed Amy to the spot where Susan was +standing, with a feeling of sympathy, which can only be experienced by +those who have shared the same grief. Susan was too much absorbed to +notice their approach, and Amy scarcely knew what to say; she could only +repeat,--"Don't cry so, Susan, I am very sorry for you," besides asking +a few questions about the other children, which Susan was quite unable +to answer. But Miss Morton understood better what was to be done. She +took the poor girl's hand in hers, and spoke so kindly, that Susan +forgot that she was listening to the voice of a stranger; and she said +what Amy could not say. She told her that she had suffered the same +loss, and therefore knew well how great it was, and that it must seem +now, as if she never could be happy again; and then she reminded her of +her mother's goodness, and that, if she endeavoured to exert herself, +and do her duty, she would live with her for ever, in a world, where +there was no more sorrow. And, as she went on, Susan's sobs became +fainter and fainter; and at last she was able to thank Miss Morton and +Amy for their kindness, and to say that she would try to do what was +right--she would do anything to be with her mother again. Amy listened, +with the hope that she should, one day, be able to talk in the same +way, and with an increased feeling of respect for Miss Morton, which +she could not avoid expressing to Margaret when she returned to her. But +Margaret was not willing to agree in any praise of which Emily was +the object; and only expressed her wonder, that Amy could take so much +interest in a girl whom she had hardly ever seen before. "As for her +being unhappy, she was sorry for it, but she could not help it; and +there were a great many people in the world in the same situation. She +was not worse off than others; and in a short time, there was no doubt, +she would get comfortable again, especially if she went to the Hall +to live." And so Margaret remained in contented indifference; and +Amy wondered how her cousin could have learned such a strange way of +thinking, and determined that she would be the last person to whom she +herself would go for comfort in suffering. + +Dora returned from her drive soon after they reached home, and was +immediately assailed by a host of questions as to what she had done, +and whom she had seen, and whether Rochford Park was more beautiful +than Wayland, But Dora was not in a communicative mood; she could make +herself very agreeable when she chose, and could describe things in a +very amusing manner; but this day her whim was to be silent; and all +the information obtained was, that Rochford Park was a very good sort of +place, that Miss Cunningham was like the rest of the world, only not so +tall as she was, and that Lord Rochford talked of bringing her over to +Emmerton soon, to spend the day, and then they would be able to judge +for themselves. + +"How stupid you are, Dora!" said Margaret, when this most unsatisfactory +account had been given. "I thought you would entertain us all by telling +us what you had seen; but you might just as well have stayed at home." + +"I am sure I wish I had," replied Dora. "It was very hot and very +dusty, and I am very tired; so, now, I hope we shall have tea as soon as +possible. Do, Emily, look into Morris's room, when you go up-stairs, and +tell her I am waiting to be dressed." + +"Can't I go?" asked Amy, feeling instantly that the request was not a +proper one. + +Dora stared. She was not accustomed to see any one put themselves out +of their way to help another, and she was conscious that Amy's offer was +almost a reproach to her, for there were times when she was aware of +her want of consideration for Miss Morton. "It will be no trouble," she +said; "Emily has done it a hundred times before." + +"I would rather go," persisted Amy; "I know very well where the room +is." And without waiting for an answer, she ran upstairs. + +"It may be very good-natured," muttered Dora to Margaret; "but I don't +see why she should interfere." And, with a pouting lip and her usual +scornful toss of the head, she followed her cousin. + +The rest of the evening was not agreeable to Amy, for Dora's ill-humour +exhibited itself very plainly; and neither Emily Morton's kindness +nor Margaret's kisses could make her forget that one of the party was +discontented; and she was not sorry when her mamma appeared in the +schoolroom, prepared to return home. Mrs Harrington accompanied her in +a more gracious mood than ordinary; she even patted Amy on the shoulder, +and called her "dear;" but the next moment the harshness of her voice, +as she remarked something that was amiss in Margaret's manner, recalled +all Amy's fears, and she shrank away from her aunt with a feeling of +even greater awe than at their first meeting. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +After this visit Amy's prejudice against Miss Morton considerably +decreased; and she made no objection, when the arrangement was finally +made, that she should go to Emmerton twice a week to receive drawing +and music lessons. For many reasons it was a great pleasure, as she was +amused by her cousins when they were in good humour, and the novelty +and variety had always charms; besides which, Mr Harrington made her a +present of a donkey, to carry her backwards and forwards when it was not +convenient for the carriage to be sent; and a ride through the forest, +with the man servant walking by her, in the lovely summer mornings, +compensated for any disagreeables in the remainder of the day. She +usually returned to the cottage soon after the early dinner in the +schoolroom, and some of the party often walked back part of the way +with her; or if she were quite alone, old Stephen generally contrived to +hobble for about a mile by her side, giving her the history of all the +cows, horses, dogs, and sheep about the place, almost all of whom were +Amy's old acquaintances, though she saw little of them now that her time +at the Hall was so differently occupied. And so the bright months of +summer passed away, and Amy became accustomed to the great change in +her life, and began to wonder how she could have liked the house in its +former desolate state, and to associate with the old trees in the +park and the lovely walks over the downs, thoughts of rambles with her +cousins, or conversations with Emily Morton (whom she soon felt inclined +to love as she became more acquainted with her character), instead of +the old-fashioned ladies and gentlemen with whom she had formerly been +accustomed to people the Hall and every place about it. + +In one thing alone there was no change. The chapel still remained +unopened from week to week, apparently forgotten, except when visitors +were in the house, and it was exhibited as a show, for the purpose of +passing away a few idle moments. The rich light streamed through the +painted glass of the east window, and chequered the marble floor and +shone upon the grotesque oak carving; but there was no one to admire its +radiance. The splendidly-bound Bible lay uncared for upon the desk; the +family-prayer books, moth-eaten and decayed, were piled upon the seats; +and the only thing which bore the semblance of devotion in the place, +once hallowed by daily prayer, was the marble figure of the first lord +of Emmerton, who, stretched upon his tomb, with his clasped hands +raised to heaven, seemed silently to reproach all who entered with their +forgetfulness of the privilege he had so highly valued. Amy could not +feel this neglect of the chapel as keenly as her mother, for she could +not remember the time when it was otherwise; but she could feel the +disappointment of her curiosity to see it as it had been described to +her; and something told her that it must be wrong to think so lightly +of it, and entirely to omit the practice of daily family prayer, even if +circumstances interfered with the performance of the regularly-appointed +service; and at last she became quite shy of talking about it; and when +she knew the chapel was open, she would steal into it by herself, and +indulge some of her former reveries, and then return to the schoolroom +without venturing to mention what she had been doing. + +This was one among many instances in which the difference of education +between Amy and her cousins was easily to be discovered. With all Amy's +occupations, and all her pleasures, her mother had carefully endeavoured +to blend ideas which might improve and raise her mind. She had taught +her that the days of her childhood were the most important of her life, +for they were those in which habits must be formed either for good or +evil, which would be her blessing or her curse for ever. She had told +her of the first sinful nature which she brought with her into the world +at her birth, and of the second holy nature which had been given her +at baptism, and had warned her that the whole of her life would be a +struggle between the two--a struggle which was begun from the very first +moment of her becoming sensible of the difference between right and +wrong. And thus Amy had learned to look upon what are often considered +trifling faults in a child--ill-temper, indolence, vanity, greediness, +and similar evil dispositions--as real sins in the eye of God, which +must be checked at the very beginning by all who wish to continue what +they were made at their baptism--His children. She did not think, with +her cousins, that it signified little what she did as a child, for that +the time would, of course, arrive when she should be able at once to +become good; but in the little everyday trials, to which she was now +exposed more frequently than ever, she endeavoured to conquer any +irritation of temper, or inclination to indolence, or envy; and every +day the task became less difficult. Perhaps this kind of education had +caused her to be more thoughtful than is usual at her age, and made her +pleasures of a graver and quieter cast; but in reality it added to her +happiness far more than it apparently took away. It made her love the +blue sky, and the trees and flowers, not merely for their beauty, but +because she knew they were especial blessings sent to her; and that +every day's enjoyment of them was provided for her by God, in the same +way as her mother provided for her pleasure in other things. It made her +sensible of the holiness of those places which were especially dedicated +to the worship of God; and the silence of the beautiful chapel at +Emmerton had as great a charm for her as the gay scenes which her +cousins often described had for them; and, above all, it gave her that +quietness and cheerfulness of mind which only those can possess who +really try in everything to do what they know to be their duty. But the +same education which had made Amy think so differently from her cousins, +made her also feel that they could not sympathise with her; and thus, +though Emmerton was a source of constant amusement, it was principally +because at the time she was enjoying it she could look forward to the +evening, when she should return to her mother, and give her an account +of what she had been doing. Her walks, her books, her music, her +drawing,--all would have ceased to charm without this; but with it, +even Dora's petulance and Margaret's selfishness caused only a momentary +annoyance. Whatever discomfort she might find at the Hall, there was +always a bright smile and a fond kiss awaiting her at the cottage; and +the enjoyment of her mother's love there was nothing to mar. For Amy did +not notice what a stranger would have looked on with fear; she did not +see the increasing paleness of Mrs Herbert's complexion, the hectic +flush upon her cheek, the transparency of her delicate hands; the change +was so gradual as to be in general unobserved, or, if remarked by other +persons, there was always some reason to be given for it, either +the heat, or a bad night, or the disappointment of not hearing from +India--the last being, in fact, the real cause of the evil. + +During this time Mrs Herbert watched her child most anxiously, to +discover the effect which the intimacy with her cousins might produce +upon her mind, but she saw little to make her uneasy; for, however Amy +might enjoy the grandeur of Emmerton, she seldom expressed any wish to +possess it; and day after day, and week after week, she returned to her +quiet home with the same gentle, humble, open spirit with which she had +left it. But still her mother was not quite satisfied. She knew that +while Amy had no rivals, the strength of the temptation was but slight. +She went as a visitor, and, to a certain degree, a stranger, and +her cousins were pleased to see her, and in general her wishes were +consulted; but Mrs Herbert looked forward to the time when she might +be obliged to live at Emmerton altogether, perhaps as a dependent, +certainly as a person quite inferior to Mr Harrington's daughters; and +she could not but fear lest Amy might then be sensible of a false +pride of which she was now unconscious. Yet, although the constant +communication between the Hall and the cottage had had little effect +upon Amy, it was not entirely so with her cousins. Margaret's character, +indeed, was not one to be easily improved, for her extreme vanity +prevented her being in the least alive to her own faults or to the +virtues of others. She remarked that Amy was seldom or never selfish; +but she only liked her for it because it gratified her own indolence +and self-will; it never entered her head that in this her cousin was her +superior, and that therefore she ought to imitate her; and as for her +sincerity and humility, it required a much purer mind than Margaret's to +understand why such qualities were good. If Amy's praises were sounded +by Emily Morton, Margaret would seize upon some trifling occasion in +which they might have differed, or some passing hasty expression, to +prove that every one was mistaken in their opinion of her, and that +she was no better than others; whilst the next moment, if her cousin +entered, she would try her patience and her good-nature, perhaps, by +sending her to a distant part of the house for a book, or begging her +to finish some tiresome piece of work, and then think she had made quite +sufficient amends for the trouble by covering her with kisses, asking +her if she did not love her dearly, and declaring she was the most +good-natured little thing in the world. At first Amy did not understand +this; she thought Margaret affectionate and Dora cold; and she turned +from the one and clung to the other; but this could not last long, for +Margaret's selfishness was too great to be concealed by any show of +warmth, and after a little time she wondered why she should be so +uncomfortable when Margaret put her arm so kindly round her neck, and +asked her to do the very thing that she knew was most disagreeable to +her, and why she should be annoyed when she chose the most beautiful +flowers or the finest fruit for herself, and then said, "You won't mind, +will you, darling?" It seemed almost wrong, yet Amy could not help the +feeling. With Dora, however, it was very different; she had serious +faults, and they were so evident as to be perceived even upon a first +acquaintance; but she had also qualities upon which a very superior +character might be formed, and amongst them, perhaps, the most valuable +was sincerity. Whatever she said was strictly true; there was no +pretence of affection which was not felt, no affectation of virtues +which were not possessed; she was too reserved to express all her +feelings, but those she did express were perfectly real; she was too +proud to confess herself in the wrong of her own accord, but she would +never for a moment stoop to the slightest meanness to screen herself; +and this it was which formed the connecting link between her and Amy, +for it was the one thing to which Dora was peculiarly alive, and half +her quarrels with Margaret, when they were not caused by opposition +to her will, arose from her perceiving some little cunning or paltry +motive, which her sister tried to conceal but could not. If Amy had +not been true and candid, Dora would have cared little for her other +qualities; but when once she discovered that her cousin's lightest word +was to be depended on, and that she never hesitated to acknowledge an +error, whatever might be the consequence, she began to respect her, and +to remark the other points in which she was superior; and though she +would hardly have borne a rebuke for her ill-temper or her pride, even +from her father, she would think over some instance in which Amy had +shown self-command or humility, with a feeling of self-reproach she had +seldom known before. And thus quite unconsciously, Amy was exercising +an influence for good, over the mind of a person older and cleverer than +herself, merely by the quiet, unobtrusive manner in which she performed +her daily duties. But as yet this made no difference in Dora's manner; +she was still proud and irritable, and often most unkind at the very +moment she was feeling the greatest respect, and Amy's chief pleasure at +Emmerton soon arose from being with Emily Morton and little Rose. Rose, +indeed, was not much of a companion; but she was a very interesting and +beautiful child, and Emily Morton's great love for her was in itself +quite sufficient to make her a source of pleasure to Amy. At first, +when the music and drawing lessons began, Amy's hand shook and her voice +almost trembled whenever Miss Morton found fault with her; but she soon +discovered there was not the slightest occasion for fear, since even +Margaret's inattention only gave rise to a serious look, and a hope, +expressed in a grave tone, that, to please her mamma, she would be more +careful for the future. And when the awe had subsided, Amy began to look +forward to Miss Morton's approbation, and to wish she would notice her +as she did Rose; and when vexed at her cousins' neglect, she endeavoured +to make some amends by bringing her the prettiest flowers from her own +garden, or working some little thing which she thought might gratify +her, till Emily, touched by attentions she had lately been so little +accustomed to receive, anticipated Amy's visits as one of the chief +enjoyments of her lonely life, and bestowed upon her a considerable +portion of the affection which had once been exclusively given, to +little Rose. + +It was some time, however, before Amy discovered that Miss Morton was +indeed fond of her; she was very gentle and very kind, but this she +was to every one, and her extreme reserve and shyness prevented the +expression of her real feeling; besides, they were very seldom alone; +and when Dora and Margaret were in the room, Emily seemed to shrink into +herself, and never to speak except when absolutely obliged. From her +childhood Emily Morton had had a peculiar dread of anything like scorn +or ridicule, a dread which her friends had often vainly endeavoured to +overcome, until her sense of religion had taught her how wrong it was +to indulge it, and even then something of the feeling remained. The +careless jest upon any little awkwardness, or the thought that she was +forgotten when others were noticed, which had brought the tears into her +eyes when a child, caused as keen a pang as she grew older, though +her self-command prevented its being shown; and the suffering she had +undergone from the moment of her entrance into Mr Harrington's family, +it would be difficult to describe. At school she had always felt herself +on an equality with her young companions, and in general, from her +accomplishments, their superior; but at Wayland Court every one looked +down upon her. Mr Harrington scarcely thought of her at all; and Mrs +Harrington considered her as little above the level of an upper servant, +useful in a party to sing and play, and useful in teaching Dora and +Margaret to do the same, but in other respects very slightly differing +from Morris. Dora scorned her as inferior in rank and wealth, and +disliked her because on certain occasions she was bound to obey her; +and Margaret envied her beauty, and was angry with her straightforward +simplicity; and when all this was gradually discovered, the feeling that +arose in Emily Morton's mind was most bitter. Every trifling neglect, +every proud look, every taunting word, brought the colour to her cheek, +and a host of painful recollections to her mind; and though too gentle +to retaliate, she thought over them in private till they seemed almost +unendurable, and she was often on the point of leaving Mr Harrington's +house and seeking for another situation. But there was a principle +within that soon brought her to a more patient spirit. She had been +placed at Wayland by the only friend on whom she could depend, and to +leave it would be, she knew, a cause of great anxiety, and the "charity +which beareth all things" at length enabled her to submit to the trial +without a murmur. She learned not only to listen without reply to +undeserved reproofs, but to ask herself whether there might not even be +some ground for them. She learned to return the greatest neglect with +the most thoughtful attention, the harshest speeches with the most +considerate kindness, till the calmness of her own mind became a +sufficient recompense for all her difficulties; and the person most +to be envied in the family of a man who had thousands at his disposal, +worldly rank, the respect of his friends, and the applause of his +dependents, was the young girl whom even the very servants considered +themselves privileged to mention with contempt. + +Emily Morton's situation, however, would have been very different but +for little Rose. She was the one charm of her life, the only thing that +seemed yet left her in which to take a deep and affectionate interest; +and till her arrival at Emmerton, Rose was the one subject of her daily +thoughts. It was long before she could believe that Amy was indeed so +different from her cousins; and still longer ere her habitual shyness +could be so far overcome as to enable her to talk, except at the times +of the regular lessons. The constant impression on her mind was, that +every one was ridiculing her; and this made her so unwilling to speak +unless when obliged, that Amy often feared she never should be at ease +with her. The reserve between them would probably have continued for +even a greater length of time, had it not been for the introduction of +Susan Reynolds into the place of under lady's maid soon after the walk +to Colworth. Mrs Harrington was pleased with her appearance, and still +more with Mrs Saville's recommendation; and although Bridget looked +sulky at first, because she was not consulted on the occasion, and old +Stephen grumbled in private, because his little grand-daughter had +not been chosen, no other person in the house found fault with the +arrangement; and even Morris, the quickest, neatest, and most particular +of her particular race, declared she had never met with so clever and +well-behaved a girl for her age. + +This was joyful news to Amy, who, of course, fancied that now all +Susan's troubles were at an end; for every one said it was the most +fortunate thing in the world that she had found so good a situation; but +when several weeks had passed, and her eyes were still often filled with +tears, and her voice had the same melancholy resigned tone as at first, +Amy became half-vexed, and, perhaps, a little impatient. It seemed +almost like ingratitude; and she ventured one day to ask Emily Morton +a few questions on the subject, as Susan's principal employment was to +wait upon her and Rose, and, therefore, she must know more about +her than any one else. Miss Morton spoke so kindly, and took such an +interest in the poor orphan girl, that it was impossible not to be at +ease when talking on this one thing at least; and Amy's heart was at +length completely won, when she met Susan one afternoon on the stairs +leading to Miss Morton's room, which was in a little turret close to the +schoolroom; and on inquiring what made her look so much more cheerful +than usual, found that Emily had made her a present of a new book, and +had promised, if possible, to hear her read three times a week. + +"She is so good to me, Miss Herbert," said Susan; "it almost makes me +happy." + +"Oh! but, Susan," said Amy; "I wish you could be quite happy. I thought +you would when you came here, and had such a comfortable home." + +"It is not my home. Miss," replied Susan; "grandmother's cottage is my +home now." + +"And do you want to go back there?" asked Amy, looking very +disappointed. + +"Oh no! Miss, I should only be a burden, and I know it would not be +right; but I should like very much to see her and the children." + +"But would you rather live there?" repeated Amy. + +"I would rather live with my friends anywhere, Miss, than amongst +strangers." + +Poor Amy felt heartily vexed. "But you know, Susan," she said, "you +could not expect to have such nice dinners with your grandmother, or +such a comfortable bed, or to wear such good clothes, as you do here." + +"Ah! Miss, but it is not the eating and drinking, and the clothes, that +make one happy," replied Susan. + +At this moment Margaret called her cousin to the schoolroom, and the +conversation was interrupted; but Amy could not help thinking of it +afterwards, and talking of it to her mamma when she went home. + +"It seems very strange, mamma," she said, "that Susan should care so +little for having such a comfortable place to live in." + +"Should you be happy, Amy, at Emmerton, without me?" + +"Oh no! mamma, never; but then----" + +"But what, my dear child?" + +"I am afraid it is wrong, mamma; but I think sometimes that it would +be very nice to have a carriage and servants, and a large house; and it +must be almost as great a change to Susan to have so many comforts as +she has now." + +"The reason why you think so differently, my love, is, that you have +never known yet what real unhappiness means. When that time comes, you +will feel with Susan, that all such things are of no consequence. I +believe God often sends afflictions to teach us this." + +"And do you think He will send them to me, mamma?" said Amy, anxiously. + +"I believe He will send you whatever is necessary to make you good, my +dear, and will give you strength to bear it; but it will be better and +happier for you if you endeavour to overcome this longing for riches and +grandeur now, and so, perhaps, the trial may not be required." + +Amy did not quite understand all that her mother meant, or why she +should look so sad; but she went to rest that night with a heavier heart +than usual, even though she had made it an especial part of her evening +prayers that God would grant her a humble spirit, and teach her not +to desire anything beyond what He had given; and when she next went to +Emmerton she looked upon Susan as much better than herself, and took +even a greater interest in her; and finding that Miss Morton did the +same, and studied in many little ways to make the poor girl feel less +friendless and lonely, it seemed as if the barrier between herself +and Emily was in a measure done away; and she began from this time +to experience a pleasure in being with her, which once she would have +imagined impossible. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +"Mamma," said Amy, as she returned from Emmerton one bright afternoon in +the beginning of September, "Aunt Harrington hopes that when I go to the +Hall on Thursday, you will go with me; for Lord Rochford is coming over +with Miss Cunningham, and she thinks you would like to see them. The +carriage will be sent for you whenever you wish it." + +"Has not Miss Cunningham been at the Hall before?" asked Mrs Herbert. + +"No," replied Amy; "she was to have gone there just after my aunt came, +but one of her uncles was taken ill and died, and then she went away +somewhere on a visit. I want to see her very much, for I am sure my aunt +is very anxious that Dora should be with her a great deal." + +"How did you guess that?" asked Mrs Herbert. + +"Oh, by the way in which she talked of her, and said she hoped Dora +would make herself agreeable, and that there were very few young people +of the same age here, and that the acquaintance was very desirable. But, +mamma," continued Amy, looking up archly in her mother's face, "I think +Dora is determined not to like her." + +"And why should you think so?" + +"Because I am sure Dora never does like any one she is told to like. She +always has a fancy for things which no one else can endure, and she will +pet that ugly tabby cat which you saw in the schoolroom the other day, +and that great fierce dog which growls whenever any one goes near it, +though I think she is a little afraid of it." + +"And does her love for human beings go by contraries too?" + +"I don't know quite, because I have never seen her with strangers," said +Amy; "but I am sure it is her way in other things, for even in her dress +I can see it. She generally chooses to wear whatever Margaret or I think +ugly. But, mamma, have you ever seen Miss Cunningham, and do you think I +shall like her?" + +"I saw her frequently when she was a very little child," replied Mrs +Herbert; "for before your uncle went to Wayland, Lady Rochford was very +intimate with your aunt; but after that she became ill, and I had no +carriage, and the distance between us is so great, that we have very +seldom met, though I have been asked occasionally to stay there; and +once, when your dear papa was here, I went." + +"Then you will like to go with me on Thursday, mamma," said Amy; "you +know it will make me so happy, and you never go now, as you used to do +in the summer. You always say it is such a fatigue; but I did so enjoy +the nice long days, when you were with me." + +"I must wait till Thursday comes before I decide," answered her mother. +"The postman shall take a note for me to Emmerton early, to say whether +we shall want the carriage." + +Amy watched her mamma more anxiously than usual the next day, and +was not quite satisfied with her pale and languid looks; and when she +appeared at breakfast the following morning, evidently suffering from +the effects of a sleepless night, it was clear that she was more fit +to stay at home than to spend the day at Emmerton; and, much to Amy's +disappointment, the donkey was ordered at eleven o'clock, and she was +obliged to set off for her ride by herself. + +There were preparations in the schoolroom for a day of idleness. Rose +was playing with her doll, Margaret engaged with some fancy work for +herself, and Dora deep in the contents of an amusing book, while Miss +Morton, relieved from her usual duties, had gone to her own room to +enjoy quietness and solitude. + +"I don't think I like coming here on a holiday," observed Amy, when she +entered the room; "it does not seem natural." + +"I like it, though," said Rose, as she tied a pink ribbon round her +doll's waist, in a firm, hard knot, and then held it up to be admired. +"I never have my doll's new frock except on holidays; and Emily is +coming presently to have a good game of play." + +"You won't play here," exclaimed Margaret, sharply; "we can have no +litter made." + +"I don't want to make a litter," said Rose; "and I had much rather go +and play in Emily's room; she is never cross." + +"Oh Rose!" said a gentle voice behind her; and Rose was immediately +sensible that she had been wrong; and turning round to Emily, who +had just come into the room, she jumped upon a chair to kiss her, and +whispered, "I won't be naughty; but no one is kind except you." + +"You must not speak so," replied Emily; "and your sister is quite right +in saying it will not do to make a litter here; but there is plenty +of space in my bedroom, and we will go there and play when I have just +spoken to your cousin." + +"And won't Amy come too?" said Rose. + +Amy looked half inclined; but Margaret vehemently asserted that such a +thing had never been heard of before; and Dora raised her head from her +book, begging more earnestly than was her wont that Amy would stay +with them; and so Miss Morton and Rose departed with the doll and her +treasures, and Amy remained to while away the time as she best could +till Miss Cunningham arrived. Not that this was a difficult task, for +there were many books at hand which were quite new to her; and she was +so unwearied a reader, that, although her cousins did not take the least +trouble to entertain her, the time seemed very short till the sound +of carriage wheels and the loud ringing of the door-bell announced the +arrival of a visitor. Margaret hastily gathered up her fragments of silk +and beads, and thrust them into the first open drawer she could find (a +proceeding which Amy did not fail to remark, as she knew that the task +of finding Margaret's missing treasures always devolved upon her); +but Dora did not appear to observe what was passing till her sister +stealthily opened the door and peeped into the passage, and then she +called out to her to shut it, and wondered she was not ashamed of being +so unladylike. Margaret was not at all inclined to obey, and a dispute +would probably have been the consequence but for the entrance of the +footman, who came with Mrs Harrington's orders that the young ladies +should go immediately to the drawing-room. Margaret ran to the glass +to arrange her curls; and Dora, lingering over her book, reluctantly +prepared to do as she was told, always a difficult task with her, and +particularly so at that moment. + +"I suppose my aunt wishes me to go, too?" said Amy. + +"My mistress only mentioned Miss Harrington and Miss Margaret," replied +the man, very respectfully but decidedly; for he well knew that Mrs +Harrington always required her commands to be taken literally. + +Amy shrunk back, vexed with herself for having offered to go, and more +vexed with her aunt for having omitted to send for her. It would have +made her feel shy to be obliged to encounter strangers; but it was not +pleasant to be left behind. + +"Never mind, dear," said Dora, kindly, seeing her blank face of +disappointment; "we shall be back again presently, and then you shall +see Miss Cunningham; but I tell you she is just like the rest of the +world." + +"I don't know why I should care," replied Amy, recovering herself; "it +will be much more agreeable to stay here and read, for I am not used to +strangers as you are, Dora." + +And yet, though it was more agreeable, Amy was not contented; and when +Margaret, having arranged her longest ringlet to her satisfaction, and +set her dress to rights, and drawn up her head so as to show off her +long neck to advantage, pronounced herself quite ready, and left Amy +to the quiet enjoyment of her book, she could not manage to fix her +attention upon it. For the first time since her uncle's arrival at +Emmerton she felt neglected; it had often happened before that Dora or +Margaret had been sent for on some little business with their mamma, but +then it did not signify; and the few visitors who called seldom inquired +for them; or, if they saw them accidentally, there was always as much +notice taken of Amy as of her cousins, so that she had not fancied +there could be any distinction between them; and even now she hardly +acknowledged to herself the cause of her uncomfortable feelings, but +sat with the open book before her, trying to find out why her aunt had +wished her to be left behind; and then looking at the loveliness of the +grounds and the signs of wealth and luxury in the room, and contrasting +them with the plainly-furnished drawing-room and the little garden +at the cottage, "I should be very happy if mamma had such beautiful +things," was the thought that arose in her mind, but there was something +within that checked it. They only who have tried earnestly to do right +can tell how quickly conscience whispers when we are wrong; and Amy, +young as she was, had too often heard her mother's warnings against envy +and covetousness, not to be aware that she was at that moment tempted by +them; and half-repeating to herself, "how wrong it is in me!" she turned +to her book with the resolution of not thinking anything more about the +matter. She had read but a few pages when the sound of voices in +the passage interrupted her. Dora's constrained tone, and Margaret's +affected laugh, told directly there was a stranger with them, and +immediately afterwards they entered with Miss Cunningham, and the first +glance showed Amy that Dora's description had been very correct. She +was neither tall nor short, neither stout nor thin; she had grayish blue +eyes, without any particular expression in them; sandy-coloured hair, +a fair, freckled complexion, and rather pretty mouth, and certainly +was very unlike what Amy had fancied in all but her dress, which was +peculiarly handsome. + +"This is our schoolroom," said Dora, when Miss Cunningham, upon being +told who Amy was, had shaken hands with her, and scanned her from head +to foot. + +"Is it?" was the reply. "It is a nice little place; I think it must be +just the size of my governess's sitting-room." + +"It does very well," said Dora; "but it is nothing like the room we had +to ourselves at Wayland, which was twice as large." + +"My governess's room," continued Miss Cunningham, "used to be my +nursery; and then, when I grew too old for it, of course papa gave up +another to me; in fact, I have two I may call my own now--a little room +where I keep all my books, and a large one where I do my lessons." + +"There was a whole set of rooms which was to have been ours," said Dora, +"if we had remained at Wayland; and here, I suppose, something of the +kind will be arranged for us soon, but everything is so unsettled yet +that papa has not had time to think about it." + +"My little room," observed Miss Cunningham, "looks out upon the finest +view in the whole estate. I can see a distance of twenty miles from the +window." + +"The tower on Thorwood Hill was thirty miles off, I think. Margaret," +said Dora, turning to her sister. + +"Yes," she replied; "but then it could only be seen as a little speck on +a clear day." + +Miss Cunningham went to the window. "You have no view here," she said. + +"No," answered Dora; "it is much pleasanter having it shut in in this +way, because it makes it so private." + +"But when a house stands high, it is very easy to be private, and yet to +have beautiful views between the trees." + +"I suppose," said Dora, "that when this house was built, several hundred +years ago, people did not think so much about scenery, though, indeed, +there is a very nice view from the front. I have heard papa say that it +is only modern places which stand high. Rochford Park, I think, is about +fifty years old." + +"Only the new part; there is one wing which is much older." + +"But the new part was built when your family first went there, was it +not?" + +"Yes; it was built by my grandfather, when he returned from being +ambassador to Turkey." + +"I think the newest part of Emmerton has been built at least a hundred +and fifty years," said Dora; "and the old part--I really cannot say +exactly what the age of it is; but the first baron who is buried in the +chapel died somewhere about 1470, and his was the elder branch of our +family." + +"But there is no title in your family now," observed Miss Cunningham. + +"Indeed there is," replied Dora; "Lord Doringford is a cousin of ours." + +"Oh! a hundredth cousin, I suppose. Any one may be that; for you know we +are all descended from Adam." + +"Yes; and of course, that is the reason why people think so much more of +a family being an old one, than of a mere title." + +Miss Cunningham turned sharply round to Amy. + +"Do you live here?" she asked; and at being addressed so +unceremoniously, Amy's colour rose, but she tried to answer gently, +though she felt a little unwilling to acknowledge that her home was +neither a park nor a hall. + +"I live about two miles off," she said, "at Emmerton Cottage; but I am +here a great deal." + +"Oh!" was all the reply; and Amy took up a book, and wished the new +visitor had remained at Rochford Park. + +"Is not that a very pretty drawing?" said Margaret, finding Dora +unwilling to speak again, and feeling very awkward. It was a drawing of +Miss Morton's, which she was going to copy. + +"Very," replied Miss Cunningham, shortly. "My style is flowers; I +learned when I was in Paris, and----" + +"But that does not make this drawing pretty or ugly, does it?" +interrupted Dora, with a curl of the lip which portended a storm. + +Miss Cunningham stared at her, and then went on with her sentence: "And +my master told papa that my copies were almost equal to the original." + +"I should like to see them very much," said Margaret, wishing as usual +to conciliate her last acquaintance. "Will you bring them over to show +us some day?" + +Dora held up a lovely rose, almost the last of the season. "Look," she +said; "who would not rather have that than the most beautiful drawing +that ever could be made of it?" + +No notice was taken of the question; for by this time Miss Cunningham +felt that she was no match for Dora in anything but pretension; and +her only resource was indifference. She therefore went on talking +to Margaret, who proved herself a willing listener. Drawings, music, +lessons, dress, all were mentioned in turn; and Margaret patiently bore +the perpetual repetition of "I think this," and "I do that," as she +looked at Miss Cunningham's sandy hair and freckled complexion, and felt +that in one thing, at least, there could be no comparison between them. +Amy for some time stood by, one moment casting a wistful look at her +book, and wishing that it were not rude to read, or that she might carry +it off to Miss Morton's room, and the next feeling a strong inclination +to laugh, as she listened to what was passing. She had never heard +anything of the kind before; for Dora did not boast except when she +wished to rival some one, and Amy was far too humble to enter into +competition with her in anything. + +At length, even the delightful subject of self seemed to be exhausted. +The visitor paused; and Margaret looking at the time-piece, and +remarking that it wanted nearly an hour to dinner, proposed that they +should go into the garden. + +"Is there anything to be seen there?" asked Miss Cunningham. + +"Nothing that _you_ will admire," replied Dora, sarcastically. + +But the emphasis on the _you_ was quite lost. From her childhood, Miss +Cunningham could never be made to understand what was not expressed in +plain words. + +"I suppose," she said, rather condescendingly, "you think we have such a +beautiful place at the Park, that I shall not care about this." + +"Oh no!" answered Dora, "such an idea never entered my head; for it +struck me when I was there the other day, that it was so like all the +other gentlemen's seats I have ever seen, that you would be quite glad +to look at something different. There is hardly such another place as +Emmerton, I believe, in England." + +The meaning of this was certainly quite evident, but Miss Cunningham was +not quick at a retort; she could only stare, as she usually did when she +had not words at command, and ask Margaret to show her the way into +the garden. Dora begged to be excused accompanying them, and Amy would +willingly have done the same, but for the fear of appearing rude; and +even in such trifles she had learned already to consult the feelings of +others. + +The morning was so lovely, uniting almost the warmth of summer with the +freshness of autumn, that the mere sensation of being in the open air +was enjoyable; and it was fortunate for Amy that it was so, as neither +of her companions paid any attention to her. Margaret led the way +through the winding walks in the shrubbery, and along the terrace, and +by the side of the lake; pointing out the different objects which +were to be seen, expressing herself extremely delighted at having Miss +Cunningham with her, and hoping that they should meet very often, for +really there were no people living near Emmerton, and it was dreadfully +dull after Wayland; forgetting that only the day before, in one of her +fits of extreme affection, she had told Amy they did not regret Wayland +in the least, for that being with her made up for everything. Amy, +however, did not forget; and it made her doubt, as she had often been +inclined to do before, whether her cousin was not sometimes insincere. +It was quite possible that Margaret might find Emmerton dull, and there +was no harm in her saying so, but there was no occasion to make kind +speeches if she did not mean them; and almost involuntarily she turned +away, and walked a few paces behind by herself. Miss Cunningham looked +at everything that was pointed out, and once or twice said it was +pretty; but the chief charm of all consisted in its being like something +else which was more beautiful at Rochford Park. The trees were taller, +the lake was clearer, the walks were broader, and Amy, as she listened, +sometimes forgot her annoyance in amusement, though Margaret's words +continually reminded her of it again; and by the time they had gone over +the pleasure-grounds, she thought that her society would not have been +missed if she had remained in the house. Suddenly, however, as they +seated themselves on a bench by the side of the lake, Margaret seemed to +recollect that her cousin was present; and, with a half-suppressed +yawn, asked her if she could think of anything else they could do +before dinner. It was evident that she was tired of her company, and Amy +ransacked her brain to discover something else which might be seen. + +"I think we have gone over everything except the chapel," she said. + +"Oh yes! the chapel," exclaimed Margaret, "that will just do, I am sure +Miss Cunningham would like to see it." + +"I don't know, indeed," was the reply. "Is it far? I am dreadfully +tired." + +"It is a part of the house," said Amy, "and you know we must get home. +This is the shortest way to it, Margaret," she continued, pointing to +a dark overgrown walk; "you know it leads over the wooden bridge to +the private garden, without our being obliged to go to the front of the +house." + +"The shortest way is the best," muttered Miss Cunningham; "I hate being +walked to death." + +Amy thought it would have been more civil to have kept her remarks to +herself; but she supposed the observation was not intended to be heard, +and they went on, Miss Cunningham complaining the whole way either of +the narrowness of the path, or the inconvenience of the briars, or +the heat of the sun, and making both Margaret and Amy very much repent +having her with them. + +The walk, however, did at last come to an end; and as they turned a +sharp angle of the building, and came suddenly upon the chapel, with its +gray buttresses half covered with ivy, standing out upon a smooth +square of velvet turf, and concealed from the pleasure-ground by a thick +shrubbery and one or two splendid chestnut trees, Amy forgot how unlike +her companions were to herself, and involuntarily exclaimed, "Is it not +beautiful!" + +"How odd!" said Miss Cunningham; "why, it is a church." + +"It is very gloomy," observed Margaret; "I don't often come here." + +"Not gloomy," said Amy, "only grave." + +"Well! grave or gloomy, it is all the same. I wish, Amy, you would learn +not to take up one's words so. And now we are come here, I don't think +we can get in. You should have remembered that this door is always +locked; do run into the house, and ask Bridget for the key, and we will +wait here." + +Amy instantly did as she was desired, but had not gone ten yards +before she returned. "You know, Margaret," she said, "that I cannot see +Bridget, because I must not go amongst the servants. I never have been +since the first night you came, when my aunt was so angry with me." + +"But," replied Margaret, "mamma is engaged with Lord Rochford now; you +will be sure not to meet her." + +"It is not the meeting her, but the doing what she would not like, +that I am afraid of; but it will do, perhaps, if I ring the bell in the +schoolroom, and then I can ask for it." + +"Yes; only run off and be quick, for we have not much time to spare." + +And in a moment Amy disappeared; and with the best speed she could make, +found her way to the schoolroom, and seizing the bell-rope, without +remembering how easily it rang, gave it such a pull that the sound was +heard through the whole house. The last tone had but just died away when +another was heard, to Amy's ear much more awful. It was her aunt's harsh +voice in the passage, exclaiming against such a noise being made, and +declaring that Dora or Margaret, whichever it was, should be severely +reprimanded. Poor Amy actually trembled, and stood with the bell-rope in +her hand, unable to move, when Mrs Harrington entered. + +"What, Amy! Amy Herbert! A most extraordinary liberty, I must say! I +must beg you to recollect that you are not at home. Pray, did any one +give you permission to ring?" + +Amy could hardly say "yes," because it was her own proposition; but she +stammered out "that Margaret wanted the key of the chapel, and she did +not like to go amongst the servants, for fear of displeasing her aunt." + +"Then Margaret should have come herself to ask for what she wants; I +will have no one but my own family ringing the bell and giving orders +in my house. And such a noise!" continued Mrs Harrington, her anger +increasing as she remembered how her nerves had been affected by the +loud peal. + +Amy could only look humble and distressed; and, forgetting the key and +everything but her desire to escape from her aunt, she moved as quickly +towards the door as she dared. But she had scarcely reached it when a +second fright awaited her--a grasp, which seemed almost like that of +a giant, stopped her, and the quick, good-humoured voice of a stranger +exclaimed, "Why, what's the matter? Who have we got here--a third +daughter, Mrs Harrington?" + +Amy ventured to look in the face of the speaker, and felt reassured by +the kind, open countenance that met her view. She guessed in an instant +it must be Lord Rochford. + +"Not a daughter," replied Mrs Harrington, in a constrained voice; "Mr +Harrington's niece, Amy Herbert." + +"Ah! well," said Lord Rochford, "it is very nearly a daughter, though. +Then this must be the child of my friend Harrington's second sister, +Ellen. I could almost have guessed it from the likeness; those black +eyes are the very image of her mother's. And what has become of the +colonel? any news of him lately?" + +Mrs Harrington shook her head. + +"Sad, sad, very sad," muttered Lord Rochford to himself; "and the +mother, too, so ill, I hear." Then, seeing a tear glistening in Amy's +eye, he paused, patted her kindly on the shoulder, and told her he was +sure she was a great pet at home, and he should be glad to see her at +Rochford Park; "and Lucy will like to see you, too," he continued. "She +never meets any one but grown-up people from year's end to year's end. +By the by, Mrs Harrington, I dare say Mrs Herbert would be very willing +to enter into the plan you and I were talking of just now. I wish some +day you would mention it." + +"You forget," replied Mrs Harrington, trying to look gracious, "that I +said it was quite out of the question at present." + +"Oh no! not at all. But, begging your pardon, I never knew a lady yet +who was not willing to change her mind when she had a fair excuse given +her." + +"You may not have met with any one before," said Mrs Harrington, in +her haughtiest manner, "but I must assure you, you have met with one +now.--What do you want?" she added, for the first time perceiving the +footman, who had answered the bell. "Amy, you rang; Jolliffe waits for +your orders." + +Amy's neck and cheeks in an instant became crimson; but she managed to +say, though in a voice scarcely audible, that she wanted the key of the +chapel. + +"Tell Bridget to send it instantly," said Mrs Harrington; and she did +not notice Amy again till the key was brought, when, putting it into her +hands without a word, she motioned her to the door. And Amy, enchanted +at having at last escaped, returned to her cousin even more quickly than +she had left her. "Oh Margaret!" was her exclamation, as she ran up, +holding the key in her hand, "here it is; but I have got into a dreadful +scrape by ringing the bell, and I don't know what I shall do; my aunt +will never forgive me." + +"Nonsense," replied Margaret, in a really kind manner; "it is only just +for the moment; mamma will soon forget it. You have nothing to do but to +keep out of her way for some time." + +"I am sure she won't," replied Amy; "she looked so angry, and called me +Amy Herbert." + +"But your name is Herbert, is it not?" said Miss Cunningham, with a +stare. + +"Don't you know what Amy means?" asked Margaret, laughing; "people never +tack on surnames to Christian names till they are so angry they don't +know what else to do. But don't make yourself unhappy, Amy; I know mamma +better than you do; she soon forgets--just let me know what she said." + +The story was soon told, and Amy's mind considerably eased by her +cousin's assurance that she had got into a hundred such scrapes in her +life; though there still remained such a recollection of her alarm, that +even the quiet beauty of the chapel could not entirely soothe her. +Miss Cunningham looked round with curiosity, but with a total want of +interest; and Margaret laughed, and said it was a gloomy old place, +and then called to her companions to observe the strange little figures +which were carved on an ancient monument near the altar, declaring they +were the most absurd things she had ever seen. But she could only induce +Miss Cunningham to join in the merriment; Amy just smiled, and said, in +rather a subdued voice, that they were odd, and she had often wondered +at them before. + +"What is the matter, Amy?" asked Margaret. "Why don't you speak out; and +why are you so grave!" + +"I don't quite know," answered Amy, trying to raise her voice; "but I +never can laugh or speak loud in a church." + +"And why not?" said Miss Cunningham, who had been patting one of the +figures with her parasol, and calling it a "little wretch." + +"Because," replied Amy, "it is a place where people come to say their +prayers and read their Bibles." + +"Well! and so they say their prayers and read their Bibles in their +bedrooms," observed Margaret; "and yet you would not mind laughing +there." + +Amy thought for a moment, and then said, "You know bedrooms are never +consecrated." + +"Consecrated!" repeated Miss Cunningham, her eyes opening to their +fullest extent; "What has that to do with it?" + +"I don't know that I can quite tell," replied Amy; "but I believe it +means making places like Sundays." + +"I wish you would talk sense," said Miss Cunningham, sharply; "I can't +understand a word you say." + +"I know what I mean myself, though I cannot explain it. On Sunday people +never work, or ride about, or read the same books as they do on other +days--at least mamma never lets me do it; and she makes me say my +Catechism, and other things like it--hymns, I mean, and collects." + +"That may be your fashion on a Sunday, but it is not mine," said Miss +Cunningham. "I used to say my Catechism once a month before I was +confirmed, to get it perfect; but since then I have never thought about +it." + +"Have you been confirmed?" asked Margaret and Amy, in one breath. + +"Yes, to be sure. I am quite old enough; I was fifteen last month." + +"Then you must feel quite grown up now," said Amy. + +"Grown up! why should I? I shall not do that till I come out in London." + +"Shall you not?" said Amy, gravely. "I think I should feel quite grown +up if I were confirmed." + +"I never heard any one yet call a girl only just fifteen grown up," +observed Margaret. + +"It is not what I should be called, but what I should feel," replied +Amy. "People, when they are confirmed, are allowed to do things that +they must not before." And as she said this, she walked away, as if +afraid of being obliged to explain herself more, and went to the lower +end of the chapel to look at her favourite monument of the first baron +of Emmerton. + +"I never knew any one with such odd notions as Amy," said Margaret, when +her cousin was gone. "I never can make out how old she is. Sometimes she +seems so much younger than we are, and then again she gets into a grave +mood, and talks just as if she were twenty." + +"But it is very easy to ask her her age, is it not?" asked the +matter-of-fact Miss Cunningham. + +"Do you always think persons just the age they call themselves?" said +Margaret, laughing. + +"Yes, of course, I do, every one, that is except one of my aunts, +who always tells me she is seven-and-twenty, when mamma knows she is +five-and-thirty." + +"What I mean," said Margaret, "is, that all persons appear different at +different times." + +"They don't to me," answered Miss Cunningham, shortly. "If I am told a +girl is fourteen, I believe her to be fourteen; and if I am told she is +twelve, I believe she is twelve. Your cousin is twelve, is she not?" + +Margaret saw it was useless to discuss the subject any more; and, +calling to Amy that they should be late for dinner if they stayed +any longer, hastened out of the chapel. Amy lingered behind, with the +uncomfortable feeling of having something disagreeable associated with a +place which once had brought before her nothing but what was delightful. +Margaret and Miss Cunningham had seemed perfectly indifferent to what +she thought so solemn; and although quite aware that their carelessness +did not at all take away from the real sacredness of the chapel, yet it +was something new and startling to find that it was possible for persons +to enter a place peculiarly dedicated to the service of God without any +greater awe than they would have felt in their own homes. + +If Amy had lived longer and seen more of the world, she would have +known that, unhappily, such thoughtlessness is so common as not to be +remarkable; but she had passed her life with those who thought very +differently; and the first appearance of irreverence was as painful as +it was unexpected. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +The thought of being probably obliged again to meet Mrs Harrington, soon +made Amy forget her painful feelings in the chapel; and during the whole +of dinner her eye turned anxiously to the door, and her ear caught every +sound in the passage, in the dread lest her aunt should enter; and she +ate what was placed before her almost unconsciously, without attending +to anything that was said. + +Miss Morton was the only person who remarked this; and she had a +sufficient opportunity, for no notice was taken of her. She was not +introduced to Miss Cunningham; but the young lady cast many curious +glances at her as she came into the room, and then a whispered +conversation followed between her and Margaret, quite loud enough to +be heard. She was described as "the person who teaches us music and +drawing," and her birth, parentage, and education were given. And when +Miss Cunningham's curiosity was satisfied, she condescended to look +at her attentively for nearly a minute, and then appeared entirely to +forget that such a being was in existence. Miss Morton bore this gaze +without shrinking. There was not a flush on her delicate cheek, or the +slightest curl of anger about her gentle mouth; and all that showed she +was aware of what was said was the momentary glistening of her eye +as she caught the words--"Oh! she is an orphan, is she?" and then +Margaret's reply--"Yes; she lost her father and mother both in one +month." Amy would have felt very indignant, if she had remarked it, but +at that moment she could attend to nothing but the door; and Dora, whose +proud, sulky mood had not yet passed away, sat by the window, and did +not speak. + +The dinner was very dull. Miss Cunningham professed herself so tired +with her walk that she could not eat; and looking at everything that was +offered her, said "she would try it, but really she had such a delicate +appetite she could seldom touch anything;" helping herself, at the same +time, to two very good-sized cutlets as a commencement, and finishing +with the last piece of apple-tart in the dish near her. Rose fixed her +eyes steadily upon her, as she transferred the remains of the tart to +her plate; and then turning to Miss Morton, whose seat was always next +to hers, said almost aloud, "Why does she not ask first!" Miss Morton +looked as grave as she could, and tried to stop her; but although Miss +Cunningham heard, it did not at all follow that she understood; and the +child's question had no more effect upon her than if it had been put in +private. + +"Would you let me go with you to your room?" said Amy to Miss Morton, +as soon as dinner was over. "I am afraid aunt Harrington will be here +presently; and I have got into such a scrape with her." + +"But supposing," replied Emily, "that I should think it best for you to +stay, what will you do then?" + +"Oh! of course," said Amy, "I should do as you thought right; but if you +would let me go and tell you all about it, I should be so glad; and I +will promise to come back again if you say I ought." + +"Well!" replied Emily, "if we make that agreement I shall not care; and +we will let Rose and her doll stay behind." + +Miss Morton's room was becoming to Amy's feelings almost as delightful +as the chapel. It was not often that she was admitted there, but +whenever she was, her curiosity and interest were greatly excited. There +were, in fact, two rooms, a small ante-room and a rather large bedroom; +and they would probably have been considered too good to be appropriated +to Miss Morton's use, if it had not been that Rose always shared the +same apartment. Emily's taste was so good, that wherever she went, some +traces of it appeared; and when Amy first saw these rooms after her +uncle's arrival, she scarcely recognised them to be the same which she +had before known only as desolate lumber-rooms. Not that there were any +symptoms of luxury about them, for there was no furniture beyond what +was absolutely required; but there were books and work on the table, +pictures on the walls, and flowers in the windows; and to all these Amy +guessed some history was attached, for the pictures she had been told +were of Emily's friends and relations, and the books had been given her +by those she was now parted from, perhaps for ever in this world; and +the flowers seemed to possess a value beyond anything they could derive +from their own beauty, for they were cherished almost as living beings. +Once or twice lately Miss Morton had related to Amy some of the stories +relating to these things, and this naturally increased her desire to +hear more; but on the present occasion she thought of nothing but the +relief of escaping from her aunt; and telling Emily, in a few words, +what had occurred, she begged not to be sent back again. + +Miss Morton thought for a moment, and then replied, "I am afraid, my +dear, that I must be very hard-hearted and say, no. Mrs Harrington +is much more likely to be displeased, if she thinks you have hidden +yourself. You know you must see her again, and then you will still have +the same fear, and you will not be comfortable even at home, unless the +meeting is over, but if you face it now, and tell her, if she should +say anything, that you are sorry she has been displeased, and ask her +to forgive you, you will return home happy. We never lessen our +difficulties by putting off the evil day." + +"But," replied Amy, "Margaret says she will forget." + +"I think your cousin is wrong," answered Miss Morton. "Some things Mrs +Harrington does forget, but not what she considers liberties; besides, +is it not much better to have our faults forgiven and forgotten?" + +"But I don't think I did anything wrong," said Amy. + +"No," replied Miss Morton, "it was not wrong in itself; it was only +wrong because it was against your aunt's wishes. She is very particular +indeed about some things; and this, of ringing the bell and giving +orders, is one." + +"I can't say I am sorry if I am not," said Amy; "and if I have not done +anything wrong, how can I be so?" + +"You may be sorry for having vexed your aunt, though it was +unintentionally; and this is all I wish you to say." + +Amy looked very unhappy. "I wish I had not gone away," she said; "it +will be much worse going back again if she is there." + +"Yes," replied Miss Morton, "I can quite understand that; but whether it +be easy or difficult it does not make any difference in its being right; +and I think," she added, as she put her arm affectionately round Amy's +waist and kissed her for the first time, "I think there is some one you +love very dearly who would say the same." + +Perhaps no kiss that Amy had ever before received had been so valuable +as this. At the moment it seemed as if she had power to do anything that +Miss Morton thought right, and she walked to the door with a firm step. +Then once more her resolution failed, and as she stood with the handle +in her hand she said, "Do you think my aunt will be there?" + +"I do not think about it," replied Miss Morton; "but if you delay, +your courage will be quite gone. You will not shrink from doing what is +right, will you?" + +Amy waited no longer, but with a desperate effort ran down the turret +stairs and along the passage, and opened the school-room door without +giving herself time to remember what she was about to encounter. + +The dessert still remained, but Dora and Margaret were standing at +the round table in the oriel window, exhibiting their drawings to Lord +Rochford, and Mr and Mrs Harrington were talking together apart. Amy's +first impulse was to screen herself from sight; but she remembered Miss +Morton's words, and resolving to meet the trial, at once walked up to +the table. + +"Ah!" said Lord Rochford, as he perceived her, "here is my little +runaway friend, whom I have been looking for for some minutes. I am sure +there must be some drawings of hers to be seen too." + +Mrs Harrington turned round. "Get your drawings, Amy," she said in her +coldest manner. Amy willingly obeyed, thinking anything preferable to +standing still and doing nothing. + +"Very pretty, very pretty, indeed!" exclaimed Lord Rochford, looking at +them; "artist-like decidedly; very good that is." And he pointed to +one which Amy knew was the worst of all, and which only struck his eye +because the shadows were darker and the lights brighter than the rest. + +"Has Amy been doing anything wrong?" said Mr Harrington, in a low voice +to his wife. "She seems so frightened, yet she always strikes me as +being very obedient; and those drawings of hers are admirable." + +"She would do very well." answered Mrs Harrington, "if she would but be +as attentive to her general conduct as she is to her accomplishments." + +"Oh! careless, I suppose," said Mr Harrington. "It is not to be wondered +at in such a young thing." + +"I can never think any age an excuse for an impertinent liberty," was +her reply. + +"Amy impertinent! it is quite impossible. Come here, my dear, and tell +me what you have been doing." + +A cloud gathered on Mrs Harrington's brow; but Amy felt reassured by her +uncle's kind manner, and answered as audibly as she could, "I rang the +bell, uncle." + +Mr Harrington laughed heartily, and Mrs Harrington looked still more +annoyed. + +"This is not the place to talk about it," she said, quickly. "Amy knows +very well that I had full reason to be displeased, but of course she is +too proud to own it." + +"Oh no, indeed I am not!" exclaimed Amy. "I did not know I was wrong, +aunt; but I am very sorry for having vexed you." + +"There," said Mr Harrington, "you cannot wish for anything more; she is +very sorry, and will not do it again. And now, Charlotte, you must be +very sorry and forgive." + +Amy felt as if she hardly liked to be forgiven, when she did not +think she was in fault; but again she recollected what Miss Morton had +said,--that she was to be sorry, not for having been guilty of a fault, +but for having annoyed her aunt; and she checked the feeling of pride, +and listened patiently and humbly, while Mrs Harrington gave her a +tolerably long lecture on the impropriety of taking the same liberties +at Emmerton that she would at the cottage, and ended by saying that +she hoped, as she grew older, she would know her position better. After +which, bestowing upon her a cold, unwilling kiss, she promised that she +would try and forget what had passed. + +Mr Harrington walked away as the lecture began; disliking so much being +said before his visitor, who, he saw, observed what was going on. + +Lord Rochford's pity had, indeed, been somewhat excited, and he said +good-naturedly, as Amy came up to the table again--"Well! I hope it is +right now. I suspected you were not in such a hurry for nothing; but +'all's well that ends well,' you know. I hate scrapes, and always +did,--never let Lucy get into any, do I, darling?" + +Miss Cunningham either did not hear, or did not think it worth while to +answer; taking advantage of her father's principle that she was never +to get into scrapes, she always treated him in the most unceremonious +manner possible. + +"I don't think you and Mrs Harrington would quite agree upon that +subject," observed Mr Harrington; "her principle is that storms bring +peace." + +"Not mine, not mine," said Lord Rochford. "There is nothing in the world +that I love like peace; so now, Mrs Harrington, we will be of the same +mind about your visit to the Park. You shall come next week, and bring +all the young ones, my little friend here included." + +"You must excuse my deciding immediately," replied Mrs Harrington; "and +I have great doubts whether going about and seeing people is at all good +for my niece; even being here upsets her mind." + +Poor Amy looked very blank, for it had long been one of her chief wishes +to see Rochford Park. + +"You must not be out of temper about it," said Mrs Harrington, as she +remarked her disappointed countenance; "only try and be more attentive, +and then you will be sure to be rewarded." + +"I shall not let you off, though, so easily," continued Lord Rochford. +"I have set my heart upon your coming, and I must have you all; no +exception for good temper or bad. Come, Harrington, interpose your +authority." + +"I will promise to use my influence," answered Mr Harrington; "and with +that you must be satisfied." + +Lord Rochford declared he was not at all, but that he had no time to +argue the matter, for the carriage had been at the door at least a +quarter of an hour, so he should consider the thing as settled. + +The parting between Margaret and Miss Cunningham was very affectionate; +and Amy, as she looked on, wondered how so much love could have been +inspired in so short a time, and felt it quite a relief that Dora was +contented with a cold shake of the hand, since it allowed her to follow +her example without being particular. To have kissed Miss Cunningham +would have been almost as disagreeable as to be kissed by her aunt when +she was angry. + +"That is the most unpleasant girl I ever saw," exclaimed Dora, when she +was left alone with Amy, Margaret having followed Miss Cunningham to the +carriage. "A proud, conceited, forward thing, who thinks she may give +herself any airs she pleases. Now, Amy, don't look grave; I know you +can't endure her." + +"I don't like her," said Amy. + +"Not like her! You hate her, I am sure you do,--you must." + +"I hope not," replied Amy, laughing. "I never hated any one yet." + +"Then I am sorry for you," said Dora. "No one can be a good lover who is +not a good hater. I would rather have any thing than lukewarmness." + +"So would I," replied Amy. "I hope I am not lukewarm; and I am sure I +can love some people very dearly,--yes, more than I could ever tell," +she added, as she thought of her mamma. "But I don't know whether I +could hate; I never met with any one yet to try upon." + +"You can't have a better subject than that odious Miss Cunningham. I +could not think of her sandy hair, and her ugly unmeaning eyes, for two +minutes, without feeling that I hated her." + +"Please don't say so, Dora," said Amy, earnestly, "it makes me so +sorry." + +"Does it? I don't see why you should care what I say; it can make no +difference to you." + +"Oh yes, but indeed it does, for I think it is not right. I don't +mean to vex you," continued Amy, seeing the expression of her cousin's +countenance change. "I know you are older than I am, and perhaps I ought +not to say it, only I could not help being sorry." + +"I am not vexed," said Dora; "but it cannot signify to you whether I am +right or wrong. It would be different if it were yourself." + +"If it were myself," replied Amy, "I could be sorry for myself, and try +not to do wrong any more; but I cannot make you sorry, and so it seems +almost worse." + +"Make me sorry!" exclaimed Dora, in a tone of surprise. "Of course you +can't; but why should you wish it?" + +"I always wish every one to be sorry when they do wrong, because, you +know, no one is forgiven till they are." + +"But supposing they don't think it wrong, you would not have them be +sorry then, would you? I see no harm in hating Miss Cunningham." + +"It may be wrong," replied Amy, "though you don't think so," + +"Who is to judge?" asked Dora. + +Amy was silent for a moment, and then said. "Would you let me show you a +verse in the Bible, Dora, about it? Mamma made me read it one day when I +said I hated some one, though I know I did not really do it, and I have +never forgotten it." + +"Well, let me see it," said Dora, almost sulkily. Amy took a Bible from +the book-case, and pointed to the fifteenth verse of the third chapter +of St John's first epistle:--"Whosoever hateth his brother is a +murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in +him." "Oh!" exclaimed Dora, when she had read it, "that is so shocking. +Of course, when I talk about hating, I don't mean such hatred as that." + +"So I said," replied Amy; "and then mamma told me that if I did not +mean it, I ought not to say it; and that the very fact of my using such +expressions showed that I had a great dislike, which I ought not to +indulge; and then she made me read a great many more verses in this +epistle, about its being our duty to love people. But, Dora, I don't +mean to teach you anything, for I am sure you must know it all a great +deal better than I do; only I wanted to tell you what mamma said to me." + +Amy would probably have been very much surprised if she had known the +feelings which passed through her cousin's mind as she spoke. It had +never entered her head that she could give advice or instruction; and +yet, perhaps, no words from an older person could have had half the +effect of hers. Dora, however, was not in the habit of showing what +she felt, and Amy was too simple to guess it, even when the exclamation +escaped her, "I would give all I am worth to have lived with Aunt +Herbert and you all my life, Amy." + +"Oh no!" exclaimed Amy, "you cannot be serious. Think of this house, and +the beautiful grounds, and Wayland too, where you used to be so happy; +you never would bear to live in a cottage." + +"I think sometimes it makes no difference where people live," answered +Dora. "I don't think I am at all happier for papa's having a fine +house." + +Amy thought of what Susan Reynolds had said, "that eating, and drinking, +and fine clothes, did not make people happy;" and it seemed strange that +two persons so differently situated should have thought so much alike; +but she had not time to talk any longer to Dora, for the evening was +closing in, and she was obliged to return home, and, as she thought, +without any attendant except the man servant who usually took charge +of her. But just as she was settling herself upon her donkey, Bridget +appeared at the hall door with a request that Miss Herbert would be so +very kind as to wait one moment longer, for Stephen had been in just +before, to know if any of the ladies were going back with her, for he +wished very much to walk a little way if he might be allowed. "He is +only gone up to the stable, Miss," added Bridget, "if it is not too much +trouble for you to stop. I can't think what made him go away." + +"Never mind," said Amy, "it is never any trouble to wait for Stephen; +but it will not be long now--that must be he coming down the chestnut +walk." + +Stephen's hobbling pace was exchanged for a species of trot, as he +perceived Amy already mounted; and he came up to her with a thousand +apologies for the delay. "But you know, Miss Amy, 'tis not very often I +can see you now, so I thought I would make bold for once. And please to +tell me now how your mamma is, for she doesn't come here as she used; +and the folks in the village say she's getting as white as a sheet." + +"I don't think mamma is as well or as strong as she used to be, +Stephen," replied Amy; "but she does not complain much, only she soon +gets tired." + +"Oh!" said Stephen, shaking his head, "India, India,--'tis all India, +Miss Amy. Why English people shouldn't be contented to stay on English +ground is more than I can guess. A nice, comfortable cottage in a good +pasture country, such as this, with a few ups and downs in it to make a +variety, is all I should ever wish to have. I want nothing that's to be +got from foreign parts; for it's always been my maxim that one penny in +England is worth twenty out of it." + +"But," replied Amy, "some people are obliged to go, Stephen. I am sure +papa would not have done it if he could have helped it." + +"Help or no help, 'tis what I can't understand," said Stephen. "Not that +I mean any disrespect to the colonel, Miss Amy, but it grieves me to +hear the people talk about your poor mamma's pale face." + +"I don't think she looks so very pale," said Amy, feeling uncomfortable, +and yet hardly owning it to herself. + +"The dwellers in the same house are not those to see the change," +replied the old man; "but I don't mean to be vexing your young heart +before its time. Sorrow comes soon enough to all; and," he added, +reverently, "He who sends it will send His strength with it." + +"That is what mamma says," answered Amy. "She is always begging me not +to look forward; but I do long to do it very often; and she would be so +happy if she could be sure when papa would come back." + +"Look, Miss Amy," said Stephen, gathering a daisy from the grass, "do +you see that? Now, you might try, and so might I, and so might all the +great folks that ever lived,--we might all try all our lives, and we +never could make such a thing as that; and yet, you know, 'tis but a +tiny flower that nobody thinks about; and sometimes, when I get wishing +that things were different, I take up a daisy and look at it, till it +seems most wonderful how it should be made, and how it should live; and +then it comes into my head how many millions there are like it, and how +many plants, and trees, and insects, and animals, and living souls too, +and that God made them all,--all that are here, and all that are up +above (for I suppose there is no harm in thinking that there may be +such); and so at last, do you see, I don't only _know_, but I can +_feel_, that He is wise; and my heart gets quite light again, for I am +sure that He knows what is best; and as He has not told us what is to +come, 'tis but folly to wish about it." + +"Well! Stephen," said Amy, "I really will try; but it is very hard +sometimes." + +"Ah! yes," replied Stephen, "we all have something hard, Miss Amy; young +or old, there is always something. 'Twas hard for me when the master +went away and left the old house to itself, as you may say; and there +are some things that are hard now." + +"What things?" asked Amy, as she almost stopped her donkey, and looked +eagerly into the old steward's face. "I thought you never would be +unhappy again when uncle Harrington came back." + +"'Tis he, and 'tisn't he, that's come," replied Stephen. "There's a +change; but 'twas the foolishness of an old man's heart to think that it +wouldn't be so." + +"But what is changed?" said Amy, + +"Everything!" exclaimed Stephen; "the master, and madam, and the young +ladies, and all; only Mrs Bridget isn't a bit different." + +"Oh, but Stephen, you know my cousins were so young when they went +away--of course they are altered." + +"To be sure, Miss Amy, I wasn't so foolish as not to expect that; but I +did hope that the young ladies wouldn't be above coming to see one, and +talking a bit; and that the young gentleman (God bless him and keep him, +for he's the only one) would have been here, and that, perhaps, they +would have wanted a little teaching about the ponies. I had two of +the little Welsh ones brought in from the hills on purpose, and took a +pleasure in training them, but no one comes near me to look at them." + +"If you would only mention it," said Amy, "I am sure my cousins would be +delighted." + +"No," replied Stephen, "it's not in my way to put myself forward so, +for those who don't care to ask after me. If they had come down to the +cottage, and said a word to me or little Nelly, and then noticed that +the ponies were about there (for I keep them in the field), 'twould have +been all very well, and natural like; but I shall say nothing about +it now; only if master should inquire after any, he can have them. And +master Frank, too--'twill never be like the old times till there is a +young gentleman about the place." + +"Frank is expected at Christmas," said Amy; "he went to stay with his +uncle, Sir Henry Charlton, after poor Edward died, because it was a +change for him; and he was so wretched; and since then he has been at +school." + +"I'm growing old, Miss Amy," answered Stephen, "and Christmas is a long +time to look forward to. I don't mean to complain, only 'twould have +been a comfort to have seen him here with the rest, and perhaps have +kept me from thinking so much about him that's gone: but it's all right; +and," he added, more earnestly, as he brushed his hand hastily across +his eyes, "I would not have him back again,--no, not if I could see him +a king upon his throne." + +"And does no one ever go to visit you, Stephen?" asked Amy, rather +sadly. + +"Yes," he replied, "the young lady, Miss Morton, comes very often; and +though she is not one of the family, yet it does one good to see her, +and talk to her; and then, too, she brings the little one with her; and +sure enough she's the sweetest little cherub that ever was born." + +"What, Rose?" said Amy. "Is she not a darling little thing?" + +"I never saw but one before that I thought I could like better," said +Stephen, laying his hard sun-burnt hand on Amy's tiny fingers; "and that +one, I hope, God will bless, and keep for many a long day. But I must +not go on farther, for you don't get on so fast when I am walking with +you." + +Amy pressed the old man's hand affectionately, begging him to come on +only a little way, for she hardly ever saw him now. + +But Stephen was firm. He had gone to his usual point, a splendid oak, +commonly called the Baron's tree, from a tradition that it had been +planted when Emmerton was built; and it seemed almost as if a charm +would be broken if he went further. Amy stopped, and watched him till +he was out of sight, and then pursued her ride through the forest with a +sadder heart than she had begun it. + +"You are late to-night, my love," said Mrs Herbert, as her little girl +dismounted from her donkey; "you forget that the days are beginning to +close in; and what makes you look so unhappy?" + +"Oh! not much, mamma; only please don't stand here in the cold." + +"You are so very suddenly careful of me," replied Mrs Herbert, smiling; +"is this the last thing you learned at the Hall?" + +"No," answered Amy; "only Stephen says you look pale, and all the +village people say so too; but I don't think you are so now." + +"I am much better to-night, my dear child," said Mrs Herbert. "You must +not listen to what every one says, and get frightened without reason." + +Amy's spirits were revived in a moment, and she ran gaily into the +cottage, and in a very short time was seated by the fireside with her +mamma, recounting the incidents of the day; Miss Cunningham, and her +behaviour, her aunt's anger, and her own conversations with Dora and old +Stephen, furnishing quite sufficient materials for a long story. "There +were one or two things that my aunt told me, which I could not quite +understand," she said, after having repeated a great portion of the +lecture she had received. "What did she mean, mamma, by my knowing my +position, and speaking of me as if I were not one of the family? I am +her niece." + +"Yes," replied Mrs Herbert; "but people think differently about their +families. Some persons consider that every one who is any relation at +all forms one of the family, and others only call those so who are their +own children." + +"But my position," repeated Amy; "why is my position different from my +cousins? You are a lady, and papa is a gentleman." + +"Compare this cottage with Emmerton," replied Mrs Herbert, "and then you +will see the difference, and why people in general would think more of +your cousins than of you." + +A sudden pang shot through Amy's heart. "Dear mamma!" she exclaimed, "I +wish you would not say so." + +"Why not, my dear? why must not that be said which is true?" + +"It makes me uncomfortable," said Amy, "and wicked too, I am afraid. If +papa were to come home, should we be able to live in a larger house?" + +"I do not know," answered her mother; "but if we could, I do not think +we should wish it." + +"Ah! mamma, that is because you are so much better than I am. I never +used to think so till I saw my cousins at Emmerton; but I should like +very much to live in a place like that." + +Mrs Herbert looked grave, yet she felt thankful that her child spoke +openly of her feelings, as it enabled her so much better to guide them. + +"It is not only the house that I should enjoy," continued Amy, "but +I think people would love me better. Margaret did not seem to think +anything of me when Miss Cunningham was by; and when Lord Rochford and +my uncle came in, I thought every one had more business there than I +had. It was very kind in him to look at my drawings, but still I felt +nobody by the side of Dora and Margaret." + +The conversation was here stopped by the entrance of Mr Walton, who +often came in at this time of the evening, on his return from his visits +in the parish. Amy was only half pleased to see him, for she would +willingly have talked much longer to her mamma alone; but her mind was +partly relieved by the confession she had made of her foolish wishes; +and Mrs Herbert's countenance brightened so much at the sight of him, +that she was soon reconciled to the interruption. + +Mr Walton brought as usual several tales of distress and difficulty, +which Mrs Herbert, notwithstanding her limited income, was always the +first to relieve; and Amy, as she listened to the account of a widow +with six children, unable to pay her rent, a father on his sick bed, +totally unable to provide for his family, and other cases of a similar +kind, and then looked round upon the comfortable room in which she was +silting, with its bright curtains and carpet, its easy sofas and chairs, +and the preparations for tea upon the table, felt grieved and ashamed +that she should have allowed a pang of envy to render her for a single +moment insensible to her many blessings; and perhaps Mr Walton's parish +tales produced a greater effect than even her mother's words could have +done, for she went to bed that night far more contented than she had +been on her return from the Hall. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +Nothing more was said about the proposed visit to Rochford Park on Amy's +two following visits to Emmerton; and though her anxiety was great to +know if she were to be included in the party, she only ventured once to +ask Margaret two or three questions, and then received a short, abrupt +answer, that nothing was settled, and that it could not be any concern +of hers. The fact was, that Margaret disliked the notice which Lord +Rochford had taken of Amy, on the day he had spent at Emmerton; for she +had resolved in her own mind that she would be Miss Cunningham's friend +and companion, and her fears of a rival were considerably excited. Of +this, however, there was no occasion to be afraid. Amy felt not the +smallest inclination to be intimate with her new acquaintance; and her +only wish for being of the party was, that she might see Rochford Park, +which had always been described to her as one of the finest places in +England. Mrs Harrington did not appear at all likely to give her any +information, for whenever they met, which was but seldom, she only said +a few words more hastily and sharply than she had done before, in order +to show that she had not quite forgotten Amy's offence; and it was not +till the evening previous to the day which was at last fixed for going, +that any hope was given her of accompanying them. + +"Take this note to your mamma," said Mrs Harrington, coming to the +hall-door just as Amy was about to set off; "and if she should say yes +to what I have asked, the carriage shall call for you at eleven; if not, +you had better come here by yourself, as usual; and you shall go with us +to Lord Rochford's; and we will take you home at night, though it will +be considerably out of our way." + +Amy's gratitude even was subdued in her aunt's presence; but she did +manage to say something about being delighted; and then, carefully +depositing the precious note in the pocket of her saddle, she made her +donkey move at its quickest pace down the road. + + +Mrs Harrington turned away with the consciousness of having done a +disagreeable thing in a disagreeable manner. She had fully determined +upon not taking Amy, it would only crowd the carriage; and she did not +wish it to be considered a necessary thing, that where her daughters +went, her niece should go too; but a note, which she had that morning +received from Lord Rochford, expressly mentioning Amy, and adding a hope +that Mrs Herbert would be prevailed on to comply with Lady Rochford's +wishes, and join the party, left her no choice; and it was happy for Amy +that she did not know how very little her aunt desired her presence. + +Mrs Harrington's note enclosed Lady Rochford's invitation, which Mrs +Herbert decided at once it would be better not to accept for herself; +but she did not object to Amy's going, though she feared that if +Emmerton in its quietness, and almost solemnity, excited her longings +after riches and grandeur, Rochford Park would probably have a still +greater effect. Yet, even if this were the case, she trusted that +she should be able to check the feeling; and she knew that the same +temptations were nearly certain to arise in after-years, when she would +not be at hand to put Amy on her guard against them. + +Amy's delight was unmeasured. Her aunt's harsh looks, and Miss +Cunningham's disagreeable manners, were quite forgotten in the pleasure +she anticipated in going to a new place; and long before her usual hour +of rising she had been to the window several times to see if the weather +promised to be fine. The calm, gray mist of the morning was hardly what +she would have desired; but there was a joyousness in her own spirit +which made almost everything appear bright, and when at length the sun +broke slowly through its veil of clouds, shedding a clear line of light +over the distant hills, and then bursting forth in full radiance over +the richly-wooded country, and the cheerful village, Amy's heart bounded +within her, and again, as she recollected her feelings of envy on her +return from Emmerton, she sighed to think that she should have been so +ungrateful as to wish for anything beyond the enjoyments which God had +given her. + +Punctuality was one of the virtues which Mrs Harrington strictly +enforced; and Amy almost trembled when she heard the clock strike eleven +as she rode up to the lodge. She knew also, that on this point her mamma +and aunt entirely agreed; and she had received many injunctions on +no account to delay on the road, and so be the means of keeping the +carriage waiting--and to have vexed her mother would have been even +worse than to have excited Mrs Harrington's anger. Happily, however, +there were some last orders to be given, which caused a delay of about +five minutes, and Amy had time to dismount, and join her cousins in the +schoolroom, before her aunt appeared. + +She seemed more inclined to be kind than before; and Amy felt so much +reassured by her change of manner, that, although placed in the middle +of the back seat, between Dora and Margaret, and having Mrs Harrington's +face nearly opposite, she contrived to be extremely happy. It was only +necessary to be quite still and silent, to avoid giving offence; and +this to her was no punishment. + +From being so much alone, she had learned the secret of amusing herself +with her own thoughts, and found them far more agreeable than the +effort of talking in a constrained way to her cousins. Dora and Margaret +willingly followed her example; the former from being rather in a sulky +mood, and the latter from finding her attempts at conversation useless. +The drive was consequently a quiet, but not a dull one; and the distance +appeared very short to Amy, though Dora had yawned at least four times, +and at last muttered that she could never think Miss Cunningham was +worth coming so far to see. + +"I cannot say I want very much to see her either," replied Amy; "only +the place,--I would give anything to see that." + +"Then look," said Dora, pointing to a long white building on the nearest +hill, "there it is, just to your right." + +Amy looked eagerly, and fancied she saw something very grand, though +only the general outline could be discovered; but as she came nearer, +still keeping her eyes fixed upon it, she was quite satisfied that it +must be what it had been described--the most splendid nobleman's seat +in the county. "Oh!" she exclaimed, jumping up in the carriage; "it is, +yes, it really is more beautiful than Emmerton." + +"Sit still, pray," said Dora; "you nearly trod upon my foot." + +Amy reseated herself, and felt rebuked; but the next moment, as she +caught the full front of the house through an opening in the trees, she +forgot everything but her admiration, and again began expatiating upon +its beauty. + +"Look, Dora! is it not lovely? it is so large, so much larger than +Emmerton, and then those beautiful pillars, and the broad steps with the +figures in front; it is just like a palace." + +"A palace!" replied Dora; "what nonsense you talk, only because you have +never seen anything else like it. It is a very good gentleman's house; +but there are hundreds in England just as fine." + +"I beg your pardon," said Mr Harrington; "there are very few places +which can in any degree compare with it." + +"Wayland was nearly as large, papa," answered Dora, more gently than +usual; for her father's mildness had a much greater effect upon her than +her mother's sharpness. + +Mr Harrington smiled. "Your affection for Wayland," he said, "causes you +to magnify it in a strange manner. I suppose it is scarcely more than +half the size." + +Amy felt rather triumphant, and a little inclined to show it, but she +checked herself; and as they had now reached the park gate, a fresh +interest was excited in her mind, and she had no inclination to continue +the discussion. + +If the exterior of the house had appeared imposing at a distance, it +lost none of its effect upon a nearer approach; and when, after driving +a considerable way through the park, the carriage at length stopped at +the side front, Amy's expectations were raised to the highest pitch, +though something of fear mingled with her pleasure as she thought of the +strangers she should probably see, and wondered whether she knew exactly +how it would be proper to behave. + +Lord Rochford met them at the door, and expressed great pleasure at +their arrival; but Amy felt a little disappointed that he did not say +anything in particular to her, as her mamma had told her that he had +sent her a special invitation; but Lord Rochford was at that moment +too much occupied in doing the honours of his house to Mr and Mrs +Harrington, and too anxious to point out the improvements he had made, +and hear them pronounced perfect, to think of her. + +Poor Amy felt lost and bewildered as they entered the splendid hall, +with its painted ceiling, and pillars of Italian marble, and then passed +on through long suites of rooms furnished in the most sumptuous manner, +some hung with delicate silk, and glittering with gilded cornices and +costly ornaments, and others crowded with rare pictures and richly-bound +books, while sofas, ottomans, cabinets, and tables of the most exquisite +workmanship gave an air of comfort to what would otherwise have appeared +only desolate grandeur. It seemed to her like fairyland. Emmerton, and +its deep windows, and handsome but sombre furniture, at once sank into +insignificance; and she no longer wondered that Miss Cunningham had been +little inclined to admire anything there, when she could compare with it +the gorgeousness of her own home. + +It seemed strange, too, that her uncle and aunt could see it all without +apparently noticing it. They walked quickly on, as if only wishing +that there were fewer rooms to go through; Dora followed, looking round +certainly, but not giving any symptoms of admiration; and Amy found that +her feelings were shared by no one excepting Margaret, who, however, +was more engaged in spying out what she called "odd things," and peeping +into the books which lay on the table, than in anything else. + +"I think I must leave you young ones here," said Lord Rochford, opening +a door which led into a small hall with French windows fronting the +pleasure-ground. "These are Lucy's own rooms; and she and madame will +take great care of you, while Mrs Harrington pays a visit to Lady +Rochford. I am afraid she is not well enough this morning to receive you +all." + +Amy wondered for an instant who madame could be; but she was not left +long in doubt: for immediately behind Miss Cunningham, who came +forward to receive them, appeared her French governess, a tall, thin, +inelegant-looking person, with a good-natured, merry face, a dress made +in the newest Parisian fashion, and a cap which seemed formed rather +for the purpose of receiving a certain quantity of ribbon and artificial +flowers, than as any covering to the black wig which it only half +concealed. Amy felt very much amused, and would perhaps have smiled, had +she not remembered that there was something unfeeling, independent +of its being unladylike, in turning a foreigner into ridicule; but +Margaret's merriment was almost audible, as madame placed chairs for +them, hoped in broken English they were not fatigued with their drive, +and then, with a swimming French curtsey, vanished from the room. + +"That is your governess, is it?" said Dora, almost before the door was +closed, in a tone which plainly spoke her opinion of her. + +"Yes," replied Miss Cunningham, "she is the most good-natured creature +in the world; and I am so fond of her. She speaks French beautifully." + +"Not a first-rate qualification for a native," said Dora. + +"Oh! but she paints flowers, too, and sings." + +"Sings!" repeated Margaret; "but she is so old." + +"Indeed! no, she is not. She sings and plays the guitar; and she is +teaching me--papa has just bought me a new one." And Miss Cunningham +took up a richly-inlaid instrument, with a long blue ribbon attached to +it, and began striking some false notes which she called chords. + +"I don't like the guitar," said Dora, "unless it is played beautifully." + +"Oh! but madame is quite a superior performer; and she says I have made +a wonderful proficiency, considering the few lessons I have had. She +practises a great deal, not in this room, for I can't bear the twang, +but in the next, which is her own. This is my study, and the little one +within I call my boudoir." Here Miss Cunningham looked round, apparently +expecting some flattering observation to be made; and of course all eyes +were immediately directed to the room and its furniture. Dora's gaze was +the most fixed and earnest, and when it was ended, she played with her +parasol, and was silent; but Margaret declared that everything she saw +was delightful--the chintz furniture such an extremely pretty pattern, +the tables so well placed, the piano so very handsome, and the view from +the window so lovely--that Amy found there was nothing left for her to +say; and feeling a great dislike to merely echoing Margaret's words, +she contented herself with expressing what she really thought--"that +it looked very pretty and comfortable"--and then amused herself with +Margaret's panegyrics. Miss Cunningham probably would have talked long +without weariness on this favourite topic; but Dora's patience was soon +exhausted; and she at last interrupted a question of Margaret's, which +she foresaw would lead to one of Miss Cunningham's long dissertations +upon herself and the splendour of her family mansion, by asking whether +they were to go out before dinner. + +"We dine at four, altogether," replied Miss Cunningham; "so we had +better, I suppose." And then, turning to Margaret, she began, as Dora +had feared, not merely an answer, but a history. There was no resource +but to sit still and endure it; and when at length it ended, to Dora's +great relief, Miss Cunningham prepared to show them through the grounds. + +Amy soon found that the uncomfortable feelings she had experienced at +Emmerton were beginning to return. She almost envied Dora her proud +indifference; for though Miss Cunningham took little notice of her, it +was quite evident that she did not wish for attention; but Amy could not +be happy as one of the party, when no one spoke to her, or even appeared +to recollect that she was present. The grounds were very extensive, and +something lovely opened at every turn; but she felt neglected, and not +all the costly flowers and shrubs in the garden, or the beautiful birds +in the aviary, nor even the bright sunshine itself, could make her +forget that she was with persons who did not think it worth while to +interest themselves about her. + +Perhaps the very charm of the place only increased her uneasiness. It +was so rich and brilliant, that it seemed more than to realise all she +could possibly desire; but there was no hope that her father would +ever possess anything like it--it was to be looked upon, but not to be +enjoyed; and as she remembered the tale of Aladdin's lamp, she longed +that it could be hers but for one moment, that she might raise a palace, +not for herself but her mamma, which should be in every respect like +Rochford Park. These dreams so absorbed Amy's mind that she paid but +little attention to what passed between Margaret and Miss Cunningham; +for they were the only two who conversed, Dora being too grand to make +any remarks beyond what were absolutely necessary. At length, however, +she was struck by Miss Cunningham's exclaiming, in rather a more +energetic tone than usual, "Pray, has your mamma mentioned anything to +you about the new plan?" + +"Plan," repeated Margaret. "No. What do you mean?" + +"Oh! the plan about our going to London." + +"We can have nothing to do with that," said Margaret. + +"Yes, you have; it is your plan as well as ours." + +"But what do you mean," continued Margaret; "I never heard a word about +it before." + +"Why, you know," said Miss Cunningham, "that papa and my brother +generally go to town in the spring, and leave mamma, and me, and madame, +here, because there is some fancy about its suiting mamma better; and +dreadfully dull it is. But now I am growing so old, they think it quite +right that I should have some one better to teach me than poor madame; +and mamma has promised to let me go to London after Easter, and one of +my aunts is to be with me, and I am to see everything, and have lessons +in everything." + +"But that is no concern of ours," said Margaret; "and Easter is so far +off." + +"It does concern you, though," replied Miss Cunningham, "for papa has +got it into his head that I shall learn much better if I can get some +other girls to have lessons with me. He says it will be much more +amusing, and I shall like it better; and so be has been trying to +persuade your mamma to let you go up too, and then the same masters will +do for all." + +"Then that is what Lord Rochford meant the other day," said Amy, "when +he talked about a plan, and begged aunt Harrington to mention it to +mamma." + +"Did he wish you to go too?" asked Miss Cunningham. + +The words of this question were very simple; but the tone of it showed +plainly that the idea was not agreeable; and Amy felt quite abashed, and +answered hurriedly, that she did not know what was wished, for that no +more had been said upon the subject. + +"Won't it be delightful?" said Miss Cunningham to Margaret; "We shall be +together so much, and shall go to the theatre; and, perhaps there will +be some parties for girls of our age; you know there are such things." + +"It would be all very nice if there were any chance of it," replied +Margaret. + +"And why should there not be?" exclaimed Miss Cunningham, who had never +dreamt of any obstacle to a wish of her father's. + +"Because," said Margaret, "mamma will not allow it." + +"And why not? what objection can she have?" + +"She will not let us go while Emily Morton is with us," said Margaret, +"because she does not think it necessary. Before she came, I often used +to hear her talk of taking us to London for masters, but now she never +mentions it; and it was only yesterday I heard her say that we had +greater advantages at present than we possibly could have by any other +means." + +"Oh! but that is all nonsense," said Miss Cunningham, "Just let papa +talk to her for ten minutes, and she will soon come round." + +"You don't know mamma," replied Dora, who, being very firm and decided +herself, particularly admired decision in others. "If she does not +approve of the plan, all the world might talk to her, and it would have +no effect." + +"But why does Miss Morton stay with you?" asked Miss Cunningham. "Are +you very fond of her?" + +"Fond of her!" exclaimed Margaret. "No, indeed; it would rejoice my +heart to see her fairly out of the house." + +"It would not mine," said Amy, whose spirit was roused at hearing a +person she loved so mentioned. + +A moment before Dora would have taken Miss Morton's part, but she +could not bear Amy to interfere as if it were her business; and, in an +irritated voice, she asked, what it could possibly signify whether she +liked Miss Morton or not. + +"Nothing," replied Amy, gently; "only I am very fond of her?" + +"Then I wish you would keep her," said Margaret. "I shall dislike her +more than ever, now; for I shall always think she is preventing us from +going to London." + +"But why don't you persuade your mamma to get rid of her?" exclaimed +Miss Cunningham. "Madame would not stay an hour in the house if I did +not like her." + +"Ah, but it is very different with us," replied Margaret. "Mamma will +have her own way about it; she knows very well that we dislike Emily, +and she is always finding fault with her, herself; but when it came to +the point I am certain she would say no. And then, too, both papa and +mamma hate London, and would be very glad of an excuse for not going." + +"But do you really think," asked Miss Cunningham, "that if it were not +for Miss Morton they would be obliged to do it?" + +"Yes; at least they always said so before Emily came." + +"Well! if you are quite sure of that, I can see no reason why we should +not try and manage the matter between us." + +"Hush!" exclaimed Margaret, who observed that Amy seemed quite aghast at +the cool way in which this was said; "there is no use in speaking about +it now. Is that your dinner-bell?" + +"Yes; but there is no hurry; do promise to talk to your mamma. I am sure +papa will do all he can--we should be so happy together in London." + +"Without Emily Morton," said Margaret; "it would drive me wild to feel +she was always tacked on to me." + +"Oh Margaret! how unkind you are!" exclaimed Amy. "You know Miss Morton +is always trying to please every one, and she never gets out of temper." + +"Miss Morton pets you till she makes you as disagreeable as she is +herself," said Margaret, angrily. + +Amy for an instant was strongly inclined to retort; but she did not give +way to the feeling, and, preferring to walk behind with Dora, did not +speak again till they reached the house. Margaret and Miss Cunningham +immediately began a low, and apparently a very interesting conversation; +for it was continued at intervals even when they were dressing for +dinner, though, whenever Dora or Amy approached them, they broke off +abruptly, looking very mysterious, as if the fate of the world depended +on no person's knowing what they were talking of. But Amy thought little +about them, being entirely engrossed with the dread of dining for the +first time at what appeared to her a regular party. The feeling had been +lurking in her mind during the whole day, but the novelty of all she had +seen had distracted her attention. Now, however, the awful moment was +drawing near; and even her desire to see everything, and her admiration +of the house and furniture, could not prevent her from wishing that she +could transport herself back to the cottage just till dinner was over. +She felt also quite overpowered by Miss Cunningham's dress, and the +profusion of brooches and chains, with which she adorned herself, +turning them over one by one, with an air of the utmost indifference; +and then, finding that her visitors did not make any observation, +calling to them to ask their opinion as to which suited her best. Dora +took care to object to almost all, or to compare them with something +more splendid belonging to other people; but Amy, who had never yet +seen such beautiful things worn by a person so young, expressed her +admiration very openly; and then, as she caught sight of her plain silk +frock in the large looking-glass, wondered whether Lady Rochford would +think it very strange that she was not dressed equally well. + +"May I sit by you, Dora?" she whispered, as they went down-stairs. + +"I can't tell," replied Dora; "it will depend upon how we go in to +dinner." + +"But what shall I do?" asked Amy. "Do you think any one will speak to +me?" Dora laughed; but when she looked at her cousin, she saw that her +eyes were almost filled with tears. "I am so frightened," continued Amy, +"I know I shall do something very wrong, and then every one will stare +at me. If I might only stay in the drawing-room----" + +"Every one would stare at you a great deal more then," replied Dora; +"besides, there is no party; there will be only Lord and Lady Rochford, +and Mr Cunningham and ourselves." + +"Mr Cunningham!" said Amy. "Is he very old?" + +"Oh yes, quite grown up," replied Dora. "But you need not trouble +yourself about him, for I daresay he will not speak to you; and, if he +does, you won't understand him." + +Amy recollected having heard Dora mention Mr Cunningham's peculiar voice +before; and she was on the point of asking her to explain what was the +matter with it, but they were standing at the drawing-room door, and +there was no time. + +Lady Rochford was seated on the sofa, talking to Mrs Harrington; and +Amy was instantly struck with the likeness between her and her daughter. +There was the same sandy hair, the same dull eye, the same fair +complexion, the only difference being in the greater softness of +expression, and the lines which continual illness and additional years +had worn in her face. Her dress, too, was very youthful; and it was +difficult for a stranger to believe that she could possibly be the +mother of the tall, gentlemanly young man, who stood by her side, +apparently intent upon examining the ornaments on the mantelpiece. Lady +Rochford's manner, however, had none of Miss Cunningham's scornfulness; +her temper was very sweet, and it was her wish to make everyone +about her happy; and if she did sometimes fail, it was more from over +attention, and insisting upon their enjoying themselves in her way +rather than in their own, than from any other cause. Amy felt relieved +by the kindness with which she spoke to her, and almost happy when she +had contrived to hide herself behind Dora, and could look at what was +going on without being observed; and dinner being announced almost +immediately, she kept close by her side, hoping that, after all, she +might not find it as terrible as she had expected. But her hope was soon +crushed. There was a slight confusion as they went into the dining-room; +no one seemed to know exactly where to place themselves; and Amy +was obliged to leave Dora, and take the vacant seat between her aunt +Harrington and Mr Cunningham. + +"George, you will take care of your little neighbour," said Lord +Rochford; "do find out what she would like to have." + +The silent Mr Cunningham turned to Amy, and spoke; but whether his words +were English, French, or German, it would have been impossible for her +in her fright to have told. By persons who were well acquainted with +him, he was very easily understood; but, in consequence of a defect in +the formation of his mouth, his articulation was so indistinct, as to be +almost unintelligible to strangers; and Amy looked at him, with mingled +fear and surprise. Again he endeavoured to render his meaning clear; but +not a word could Amy comprehend, though, guessing what he would say, +she faltered, "Chicken, if you please," and then looked at her aunt, +and blushed painfully, from the idea that she had done exactly the +very thing she ought not. Mr Cunningham apparently was very desirous of +seeing her comfortable; for, during dinner, he made a point of offering +her everything on the table which he thought she might like; and each +time he opened his lips Amy's distress revived. But the climax of +misery was, when, after the dessert being placed on the table, he seemed +inclined to enter into conversation with her. Happily she caught the +words, "live at Emmerton," in his first sentence, and contrived +to answer it correctly; but as he went on, the confusion of sound +increased, and, perfectly bewildered between endeavouring to make out +the meaning of the last question and the dread of hearing a new one, she +continued to repeat "Yes" and "No," at regular intervals, resolving +in her own mind that it would be better to live at the cottage all her +life, even if it were twice as small, and she were never to see any one, +than be condemned to the penance of talking to Mr Cunningham. + +Her cousins, from the opposite side of the table, watched her with +considerable amusement, though, after a short time, Dora's compassion +was much excited, and once or twice she attempted to help her, by partly +repeating the question when she understood it better than Amy; but +this only served to increase Mr Cunningham's desire to make himself +intelligible, and the eagerness with which he went over the ground +again, rendered the sounds only the more perplexing, so that Dora was +obliged to resign Amy to her fate, and wait with patience till Lady +Rochford should move. + +The looked-for moment did at last arrive, and Amy's spirits rose like +those of a prisoner released from captivity; for nearly at the last +moment, having answered "Yes," when she ought to have said "No," she +found a large bunch of grapes placed upon her plate, and, not liking to +confess she had misunderstood, and still less liking to eat them, she +was obliged to leave them, and went out, wondering whether Mr Cunningham +would remark it, and, if he did, what he would think of her. + +The evening was but short, and to Amy it was rather stupid. Margaret +and Miss Cunningham left the room together soon after dinner, and only +appeared again when they were summoned to tea. Lady Rochford talked a +good deal to Dora, and asked her to play and sing; but she said very +little to Amy, except that observing her interested in a book of prints, +which Miss Cunningham had brought before dinner for Margaret to see, she +declared that it must be much more agreeable to her to look at a cabinet +of minerals; and, taking the book away, Amy was obliged, for the next +half hour, to turn over a number of drawers filled with odd-shaped +stones, and pieces of iron and copper, about which she knew nothing, and +cared less. + +There was some pleasure, notwithstanding, for there was no necessity +to admire them, and she could stand with them in her hand, and amuse +herself with the other things in the room, since no one took any notice +of her; but the marked difference between herself and her cousins, had +never been so observable before. Even the servants overlooked her, and +forgot to offer her any coffee; and her wishes of the morning returned +with redoubled vigour. Not that she would have been Miss Cunningham, for +her own mother was a treasure beyond all price; she would only willingly +have given her an equal share of the world's riches and grandeur. Mr +Cunningham did not come into the drawing-room till tea was nearly over; +but Lord Rochford and Mr Harrington soon joined them, and the former +immediately began urging upon Mrs Harrington the importance of acceding +to the plan he had mentioned at Emmerton. + +Amy saw that her aunt was annoyed by the subject being named so openly, +for she remarked immediately that it was time for them to prepare for +returning; and though Dora and Margaret lingered as long as they could +to hear what was said, she preserved perfect silence until they were +gone. + +"Mamma will say no," exclaimed Margaret; "I could see it by the way she +bit her lip." + +"And papa will make her say yes," replied Miss Cunningham. "He never +gives up anything he has set his heart on." + +"Then there is one good thing," said Dora; "they will have a subject of +interest to discuss for the remainder of their lives. You might just as +easily move this wall as mamma." + +"I shall never rest till it is settled," continued Miss Cunningham; +"fancy the delight of being in London, and driving about in the parks, +and seeing all the shops, and buying whatever one likes. I shall give +all my old dresses to my maid; for I am determined to have quite a new +set of my own choosing." + +"It would be very nice," said Margaret, with a sigh of hopeless regret; +"and to think that that pale-faced, black-haired Emily Morton should be +the only thing to stand in the way." + +"Ah!" said Miss Cunningham, significantly, "we will see about that," and +some more whispering went on between her and Margaret. + +Amy did not remark this conversation; but she said in a low voice to +Dora, "Does Mr Cunningham go to town with them always?" + +"Yes," answered Dora, laughing; "and you must go to town too, to learn +his language. French, Italian, German, and double-Dutch,--what an +accomplished person you will be!" + +"I don't mean to be unkind to him," said Amy; "but it would take off a +great deal of my pleasure." + +"Oh no, it would not; it is only because you are not accustomed to +him--every one in the house understands him." + +"Do they? but then they are older. Oh Dora! you cannot think how +frightened I was. I was so afraid he would think me rude and unfeeling." + +"I should have been afraid of laughing," said Dora; "I never heard such +an extraordinary voice in my life." + +"Perhaps I might have laughed if he had not been so kind; and then it +vexes mamma so, if I ever ridicule a person's misfortunes; she says that +we never can tell when the same things may be sent to ourselves." + +Dora was thoughtful for a minute; at length she said, "You are so +grave about things, Amy; it is not human nature not to laugh at such +oddities." + +"But," replied Amy, "mamma says we have two natures, a good one and a +bad one, and that human nature is the bad one." + +"Two natures!" exclaimed Dora, "what can you mean?" + +"I wish you would ask mamma some day," answered Amy; "she would tell you +so much better than I can." + +"She would find it so much trouble," said Dora, sadly; "I have not been +taught like you." And she turned hastily away, and, scolding Margaret +for being so slow in getting ready, declared it would not do to wait any +longer, and ran down-stairs. + +It was a happy thing for Amy that her dread of Mr Cunningham prevented +her from indulging to its full extent the wish of accompanying her +cousins to London, if Mr Harrington should consent to their going; +but the incidents of the day had been quite sufficient to excite +her imagination to the utmost. The magnificence of Rochford Park had +realised many of her gayest dreams; and while her uncle and aunt, and +her cousins, giving way to the weariness consequent on a long day, +composed themselves to sleep, she felt quite at liberty to build a +castle in the air, which should have all the splendour of the princely +mansion they had left, without the drawback of its inhabitants. In a few +moments she was living at a park, with her father returned from India, +her mother in perfect health and happiness, and her cousins and Emily +Morton on a visit to them. The house was filled with company; there were +pleasant drives and rides, a pony for herself and a pony-chaise for her +mamma, handsome dinners, and amusements of every kind for her father's +visitors; and the chapel was also thought of, but it seemed inconsistent +with her other dreams, and she could not decide upon its being used +every day--perhaps once a-week would be sufficient. Then again the scene +changed to London--to handsome shops, and beautiful dresses, and rich +ornaments, just like Miss Cunningham's; and the delight of going to a +play when she liked, having constantly new books, and being able to +make presents to all her friends; and in the midst of this vision of +grandeur, the carriage stopped at the little white gate of Emmerton +cottage. Her mother's voice recalled her to herself; but even its +much-loved gentle tone could not at that instant entirely content her. +A feeling of dissatisfaction with everything had taken possession of her +mind, and the gaiety of her spirit was fled. + +But few words passed between Mrs Herbert and her brother, Mrs Harrington +complaining of being extremely cold, and objecting to the horses being +kept standing; and Amy was not sorry for this, as she longed to be quiet +with her mamma after the excitement of the day. Her spirits, however, +were too much depressed to be again roused even by the interest of +talking over all she had done and seen; and after a few attempts at +answering her mamma's questions, she gave it up in despair, and burst +into tears. Mrs Herbert guessed directly what was the matter, on finding +that Amy could assign no reason for her distress. Her cousins had not +been unkind, her aunt had not been angry, she had seen everything she +expected; but she was quite tired, and this was the only account she +could give. "I suspect a night's rest will be the most certain means of +making you feel happy again, my love," said Mrs Herbert; "suppose you +prepare to go to bed, and I will hear all you can tell me to-morrow." + +"I should like very much to talk to you to-night," replied Amy, almost +sobbing; "I am very unhappy, but I cannot tell why." + +"At any rate," continued her mother, "it would be better to wait a +little while, and when you are ready to read, you shall come to my room, +and then you can say all you wish, and go to bed afterwards with your +mind at ease." + +"But I would rather say it now," answered Amy, "if I only knew how to +begin. I don't think, mamma, it makes me happy seeing fine places." + +"Because you wish they were your own; is that the reason?" + +"I long for them very much," replied Amy; "but, mamma, I have told you +all about it before." + +"Yes, my dear child, so you have; but knowing that you have told me +before, will not ease your mind now." + +"Only that I don't like repeating it all over again," said Amy; "it +seems as if all you had said had done me no good." + +"It takes a very long time to make any one good," answered her mother, +"so you must not be disheartened even if you do find the same bad +feelings returning again and again. I daresay you have been dreaming +of having a large house like Rochford Park, and quantities of money to +spend just as you please; and now, when you find you must be contented +with a small house, and very little money, you are unhappy." + +"I don't want it all for myself," said Amy. + +"But even for others," replied Mrs Herbert; "you desire to give them +something that God has thought fit they should not have; which do you +think knows best what is good?" + +"Oh mamma! indeed I am sure that God is wiser than any one; but I cannot +help wishing." + +"Do you remember, Amy, the promise you have so often repeated to me; I +mean the promise made for you at your baptism; that you would renounce +'the pomps and vanities of this wicked world?'" + +"But, mamma, I do not want any pomp; I should not care to be a queen; +and it would make me miserable to have anything to do with what was +wicked." + +"My dear," said Mrs Herbert, "the pomps and vanities of the world are +different to different people. If Susan Reynolds, for instance, were +anxious to live in this cottage, and wear a silk dress like yours, she +would be longing for pomps and vanities, because she would be coveting +something beyond her station; and so, when you are desiring to live at +Emmerton or Rochford Park, you are equally wrong." + +"Then why does my uncle live at such a large place, and have so many +servants and carriages, if he has promised to renounce them?" asked Amy. +"Is it wicked?" + +"No," answered Mrs Herbert, "it is not wicked in him, because they are +things proper to the station in which God has placed him. A king must +live in grandeur, so must a nobleman,--it is befitting their dignity; +and private gentlemen, when they have large fortunes, are obliged to do +the same, only in a less degree. But such persons have a very difficult +task assigned them, as it is almost incumbent upon them to maintain a +certain degree of splendour in their style of living; and yet God +will assuredly one day call them strictly to account for any wilful +extravagance or self-indulgence." + +"But why was the promise made for them, if they never can keep it?" said +Amy. + +"Because," replied her mother, "renouncing does not mean that we are to +give up all the blessings which God has bestowed upon us; but it does +mean that we are not to pride ourselves upon them, or rest our happiness +on them, or covet more than we possess. It means that we should use +them entirely for the benefit of our fellow-creatures, that we should +be perfectly willing to part with them if God were to require it, and +should be as happy in a cottage with only bread to eat, as we should be +in a palace." + +"Oh mamma! no one can feel so." + +"Look, Amy," said Mrs Herbert, taking up the Bible which she had been +reading during her child's absence; "have you never seen this before? +'How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!' +and 'It is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a +rich man to enter into the kingdom of God' (Luke xviii. 24, 25). These +are our Saviour's words; do you think that any one who really believed +they were true could wish for riches?" + +Amy hid her face on her mother's shoulder, and her tears again fell +fast. Mrs Herbert went on. "It is quite necessary, my dear child," she +said, "that you should learn what you wish for, before you indulge in +any dreams of greatness. You are desiring what, our Saviour says, makes +it almost impossible for a person to enter into heaven; and you +yourself have just acknowledged that it must be the case. I told you the +disposition of mind which God requires of us; that, if we have riches, +we should be ready in a moment to part with them, and be quite contented +without them, and you immediately exclaimed that it could not be; and +yet God will not own us as His children unless we have this spirit, or +at least strive very hard to obtain it." + +"Mamma," said Amy, in a low voice, "indeed, I will try not to wish any +more." + +"I am sure you will, my love," replied her mother; "and I am sure, also, +that if you pray to God, He will assist you; but it will require very +many attempts before you can succeed. And will you remember, also, how +vain and foolish it is for those who are the children of God, and look +forward to living with Him in heaven, to set their hearts upon anything +this world can give? You would laugh if you saw a person who was one day +to possess a kingdom, sighing for a little cottage, or a small garden; +but the most glorious kingdom that could be given us here, even the +world itself, is nothing when compared with what God has promised us +hereafter." + +"If I could but see it for one moment," said Amy, "I should never wish +again." + +"Yes," answered her mother, "if we were to see it, our difficulty would +be at an end; but God has placed us here to try us, to prove whether we +will believe that we shall have what He has promised, though whilst +we are on earth it is hidden from us. If I told you that to-morrow you +would have a splendid present made you, but that I could not show it to +you to-day, would you not believe me?" + +"Oh yes," replied Amy, "you always keep your word." + +"And if I read to you in God's Word, the description of the beautiful +home in which, our Saviour tells us, we shall one day live, will you not +believe Him?" But Amy did not answer, for her heart was full. "I will +not talk any more to you now, my dear child," continued Mrs Herbert: +"but I will read to you presently those two concluding chapters in the +last book in the Bible, which you have only occasionally heard. They +will do far more to calm your mind than anything I can say." + +Amy went to her room; and the last sound that mingled with her dreams, +was her mother's gentle voice, as she sat by the bedside, describing to +her, in the words of the Bible, the blessedness of that glorious city, +which shall have no "need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in +it; for the glory of God shall lighten it, and the Lamb shall be the +light thereof." + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +The autumn months passed quickly away, and brought but little change in +Amy's life, except that her visits to Emmerton became less frequent, +as the uncertainty of the weather obliged her to depend more upon her +uncle's carriage; but she still practised her music under her mother's +direction, and copied Miss Morton's drawings at home, and made up by +diligence for the superior advantages which her cousins enjoyed. The +London plan had been often mentioned, but, as Margaret foretold, Mrs +Harrington was decidedly opposed to it, and became at last quite annoyed +whenever any reference was made to it; and the idea would probably +have completely died away, had it not been for Miss Cunningham, who, +notwithstanding the distance between Emmerton and the Park, contrived +to be a very constant visitor; and whenever she appeared, London was +invariably the theme of conversation. There needed no description, +however, to excite Margaret's wishes, and Dora would have been equally +anxious, if her dislike to Miss Cunningham had not prevented her from +entering into any scheme of enjoyment in which she was to participate. +But Miss Cunningham's earnestness on the subject did not exhaust itself +in mere words. Her first object had been to induce her papa to urge +the scheme on Mrs Harrington as often as they met, and when, after many +trials, this was found to fail, the only thing that remained was to get +rid of the one great obstacle, Emily Morton. Lord Rochford was persuaded +to criticise her drawings, to find fault with her style of playing, and +to declare that her voice was extremely indifferent, in the hope that +Mrs Harrington might at last yield to the necessity of having better +instruction for her daughters. But Mrs Harrington was not so easily +deceived; she was far too good a judge of both music and drawing, to be +influenced by what Lord Rochford said, and only answered him with cool +indifference in public, and laughed at his ignorance in private. Yet +Margaret and her friend did not despair. There was one resource left; +though Mrs Harrington could not be persuaded to part with Miss Morton, +Miss Morton might be induced to leave Mrs Harrington; and when this +notion entered their heads, a series of petty persecutions commenced +according to a plan that had been determined on at Rochford Park, which, +with any other disposition, could hardly have failed of success. But +Miss Morton was invulnerable; she felt that it was her duty to remain +at Emmerton; and without paying any attention to looks and inuendoes, +or even open words, she pursued her round of daily duties with the same +unruffled temper, the same cheerful smile, as if her life had been one +of uninterrupted happiness. The only difference observable was during +Miss Cunningham's visits, when she generally spent as much of her time +with Rose in her own room as was possible; and this, quite as much on +the little girl's account as on her own; for Miss Cunningham, having +just cleverness sufficient to discover that Rose was Miss Morton's +great interest and anxiety, endeavoured to interfere with her in every +possible way, distracting her attention from anything in which she might +be engaged, and teazing her so much, that even Dora's indignation was +at length roused. Of all this, Amy saw but little. The days were now so +short that she had only time to take her lesson and return home; but +she could not help observing it occasionally, and then longed to be Miss +Morton's friend, and to be a comfort to her; and still more did she wish +that Emily could be often with her mamma, and be enabled to tell her all +she was suffering. But to this there was an obstacle, which Miss Morton +would have felt, though Amy was not sensible of it. To have repeated +all that passed at Emmerton, would have been in her eyes betraying +the secrecy in some degree necessary in private life, and to Mrs +Harrington's sister it would have been quite impossible. If there was a +complaint to be made, Mrs Harrington was the person to whom to apply for +the remedy; and if she did not choose to do this, it could not be right +to seek assistance from any other person; and thus, day after day, Emily +bore silently and meekly the scorn of folly and ignorance, with but one +Friend to guide her, one hope to cheer her, and yet feeling that that +Friend and that hope were sufficient in all things for her comfort. +Mrs Herbert's interest in Miss Morton had been much excited by Amy's +account, and she was induced to think over many plans that might render +her life happier. The undertaking, however, was a difficult one, for +it was impossible to intrude on her confidence; and there were few +opportunities for gaining it, as Mrs Harrington always made some +objection to her going to the cottage. Perhaps she feared that Miss +Morton's history of her life at Emmerton might not sound favourably in +her sister's ears; but, whatever might be the cause, the dislike became +so apparent, that Mrs Herbert gave up all hope of being useful, until +the idea of an introduction to Mrs Walton suggested itself to her mind. +In her Miss Morton would find everything that she could require; warm +affection, superior judgment, and the advice and sympathy which Mrs +Herbert's position rendered it impossible to give; and with such a +friend at hand, there would be comparatively little to fear for Emily's +comfort. + +Of Mrs Walton's willingness to cultivate the acquaintance, Mrs Herbert +had no doubt. It seemed impossible, indeed, that any one could look at +Emily Morton without feeling the deepest interest in her; yet the charm +was not that of mere personal beauty; many might have criticised the +colour of her hair and eyes, and found fault with her pale, transparent +complexion, but none could be insensible to the simple grace of her +manner, the musical sweetness of her voice, and, above all, the calm, +soft, expression of countenance, which was but the outward sign of that +"meek and quiet spirit," which, the Bible says, "is in the sight of God +of great price." Without Mrs Herbert's recommendation Emily would +have been a welcome visitor at the rectory; but with it, Mrs Walton's +feelings were so much excited in her favour, that even Amy was quite +satisfied as to her being properly appreciated, though she still longed +that her mamma could know her more intimately. + +But Miss Morton was not Amy's only object of compassion at the Hall. +As Christmas approached, Dora's spirits evidently sank; she became more +silent and abstracted, took little interest in what was passing, and, +if any remark was made upon her low spirits, either roused herself to +a forced gaiety, or shut herself up in her own room, and remained there +for a considerable time. Amy longed to ask what was the matter, but she +did not dare; and they now met so seldom, that the hope of discovering +it seemed vain. It was therefore a cause of satisfaction to her, +independent of her own enjoyment, to hear that it was Mr Harrington's +wish, that the week before and the week after Christmas should be spent +by her mamma and herself at Emmerton, as she was certain the arrangement +would give pleasure to Emily Morton, and thought it possible that her +mamma might be some comfort to her cousin. Dora was the first to give +her the intelligence; but although she declared it would be very nice +to have Amy staying there, and expressed a hope that her aunt would be +comfortable, she did not really seem to care much about it. + +"It will not be gay as it used to be at Wayland," she said; "there +we always had the house full of people, but now there are only a few +coming, whom I know nothing about. I believe we are to have some boys +and two or three girls, but we have scarcely ever seen them. Two of +the boys are the young Dornfords, and, besides, there will be the Miss +Stanleys, and Mary Warner, and the little Danvers; but I shall hate it, +for I don't know what we shall do with them." + +"Frank will amuse Mr Dornford's boys," said Amy, who knew all +their names, though she had never been accustomed to visit in the +neighbourhood. + +"Yes! but Frank is not used to it." + +"Don't look so very unhappy, dear Dora," replied Amy, "I cannot bear to +see it; you always seem out of spirits now, and I would give anything in +the world if I could help you." + +"Would you?" said Dora, looking at her earnestly; "that is more than +half the people I know would say." + +"But it is true; only, of course, I cannot be any good to you." + +"No one can be any good to me now; I knew I should be wretched when +Christmas came." + +"But why?" asked Amy. + +"Oh! never mind," said Dora, rather hastily, "I cannot talk about it; +please don't say anything to anybody." + +"But if you would talk to some one else, would not that help you?" + +"Whom should I talk to?" said Dora. + +"Do you never tell your mamma when you are unhappy?" continued Amy, +though she felt that to have asked for sympathy from Mrs Harrington in +her own case would have been impossible. + +"Talk to mamma!" exclaimed Dora; "why, I could more easily be miserable +all the days of my life; besides," she added, "I said no one could help +me; no one can bring back----," the sentence remained unfinished, for +her voice was choked, and her eyes were blinded with tears. + +Amy had always hitherto felt in a certain degree afraid of showing any +affection to Dora--her manner was in general so cold, that she never +knew how far it would be returned; but the sight of her present distress +was quite sufficient to overcome every feeling of the kind, and, putting +her arm round her cousin's neck, she said very gently, "But he is so +happy now." + +Dora hid her face in her hands, and did not answer for several minutes; +at last, rousing herself with a great effort, she said, "Amy, I am very +cross to you sometimes." + +"Oh no!" replied Amy, "don't think about that; you know we are all cross +occasionally." + +"He was never cross to any one," said Dora, in a voice so low, that it +sounded as if she were speaking to herself. + +"Miss Morton told me how good and kind he was," replied Amy, "and how +miserable you were when he was taken ill." + +"Did she?" exclaimed Dora, with interest; "I did not know she ever +thought about me." + +"Oh Dora! indeed, I am sure she does think about you a great deal, and +would love you very much, if----" + +"If what? why should you be afraid of speaking out?" + +"If you would love her," continued Amy, hesitatingly. + +"It would be no use if I did," replied Dora; "she is as cold as a stone +to every one but Rose and you, and as proud as a queen." + +"But she spoke of you so kindly the other day, and said that she could +not bear to see you in such bad spirits, and that she was so sorry about +poor Edward; and then she told me that in some things she thought you +were like him." + +"Me! no indeed, nobody could think that; he was like no one else." + +"Not Frank?" asked Amy, anxious to make her cousin converse upon the +subject she knew was uppermost in her thoughts. + +"No," replied Dora; "Frank is thoughtless and hasty, but he never said a +harsh word to any one, not to me even!" + +"It would have been hard to speak crossly to you, when you were so fond +of him," said Amy. + +"Ah! you don't know," answered Dora, while a host of recollections +flashed across her mind, of taunting looks, and angry words, and selfish +actions, which at the time were thought of as nothing, but which now +stood forth in their true light. For a short time she was silent; +and then, turning abruptly to Amy, she said, "Then you will come next +Monday--aunt Herbert is to have the green room and the boudoir, and you +are to have the dressing-room." + +Amy was vexed; she longed to continue the conversation about Edward, +and she was always pleased and interested when Dora spoke of her own +feelings, for it seemed as if she were then admitted to a secret which +no one else was allowed to share. "I shall like it very much if mamma +will consent, and if you will be happy," she said; "only I wish there +were to be no strangers." + +"Don't think about me," replied Dora, "and pray don't say anything about +my being out of spirits; I shall do very well by and by." + +"I wish Frank were here," said Amy. + +"Frank will do no good, only make a noise; but I shall be happy again +after Christmas. I did not think half so much about it a month ago, +and not even when first I came here, because everything was new; but +he always came home about this time, and I used to look forward to it +so--at last I quite counted the days." + +Amy saw how hopeless it was to attempt to comfort her cousin. She could +only show by looks and manner the pain she felt at her unhappiness; and +with this Dora was quite satisfied. Amy's silent sympathy was consoling, +where words would have distressed her; but it was not natural to her to +speak much of her own feelings, and again she turned the conversation to +the intended visit. + +"If you come on Monday," she said, "we shall have a few days to +ourselves, for no one is to be here till after Friday, which is +Christmas-day." + +"And will they all come together?" asked Amy. + +"No; that is what provokes me so. If there were a good many, they would +entertain each other; but I can't imagine what we shall do with two or +three. I think I shall try again to make mamma alter the plan." + +"But you will have Margaret to help you." + +"She will be worse than nothing; for Lord Rochford and Miss Cunningham +are to come on Saturday, and you know very well that, when they are +here, Margaret will think of nothing else." + +"Is Miss Cunningham really coming?" asked Amy, looking very blank. + +Dora laughed. "You should not let your face tell such tales, Amy; now I +speak out at once, and say, I can't endure her, and you had much better +do the same." + +"No," replied Amy, "I don't like to do it unless I am obliged, and I +dare say a great deal of the fault is my own; but I care much more about +Miss Morton than anything else--Miss Cunningham treats her so ill." + +"Yes, she makes even me angry sometimes, and you know I am not in love +with your dear Emily." + +"You like her better than you will own, though," said Amy, looking gaily +in her cousin's face, "and a great deal better than you did." + +"I don't know; I don't dislike her always; and I cannot bear to see that +Lucy Cunningham tormenting her so." + +"And to-morrow you will not dislike her at all," continued Amy; "and the +next day you will take her part, and the day after you will quite love +her." + +"No, I shall never love her. I am sure I am much more given to hating +than loving. I am not like you, Amy, who seem to care for everything, +and everybody." + +"Not everything," said Amy, laughing; "your ugly tabby cat, for +instance, Dora, I never could love that." + +"Oh! that is compassion; I only pet her because all the rest abuse her." + +"And Miss Morton, it is just the same with her." + +Dora shook her head. "It is no use, Amy," she answered. "You know very +well, that if I were to begin loving Emily Morton now, and to go on for +the rest of my life, she never could like me in return." + +"And why not?" + +"Because--because--I cannot tell why; but I am sure she could not." + +"Oh Dora!" said Amy, "I do not think you can guess how good Miss Morton +is, or how easily she would forgive." + +"Forgive!" exclaimed Dora, quickly, "what should she forgive?" + +Amy blushed deeply; "I beg your pardon, Dora, only I thought you +meant----" + +"Well! go on; meant what?" + +"Don't be angry with me, dear Dora, only I thought, perhaps, you fancied +that Miss Morton would not like you, because sometimes, you know, you +show that you do not like her." + +"You had better say it in plain words," exclaimed Dora, whilst the +working of her forehead showed the storm that was gathering; "because +sometimes--no--very often, you know you are very cross." + +"No, Dora," replied Amy, gently; "I do not wish to say it in any other +words; it would be wrong in me, for you know it is not my place to tell +you you are cross; and, besides, I am often cross myself." + +"But you meant it, I know you meant it; just say now whether you did." + +"I wish you would not ask me anything about it; I did not mean to vex +you, and I was careless when I spoke." + +"You were, indeed," said Dora; "and, perhaps, the next time, you will +think twice before you accuse persons who are older than yourself." + +Amy was about to vindicate herself, but she had learned from Miss Morton +to bear an unjust accusation patiently, when she knew that excuses would +only increase anger; and again begging Dora's pardon, and saying she +was very sorry for having annoyed her, she began putting her drawing +materials together, and preparing to return home. Dora's first impulse +was to leave the room; but she was so well aware of having been harsh, +that she could not quite make up her mind to go, and she lingered about, +first taking up a book, and then looking out of the window, and longing +for Amy to say something, though it was too great an effort to do so +herself. Amy, however, still continued silent; and at length, when +everything was collected, went up-stairs to put on her bonnet and cloak. +Dora, lately, had been in the habit of assisting her; but now, instead +of accompanying her, she seated herself by the fire, and tried to read, +though without being able to fix her attention. In a few minutes Amy +reappeared, and holding out her hand to her cousin, told her that her +donkey was at the door, and she must go directly. + +"Good-bye," said Dora, in a cold, constrained voice, which gave no +symptom of the struggle within. + +Amy looked distressed. "Are you angry with me, still?" she asked. + +"Angry! why should I be angry?" + +"Because I spoke so thoughtlessly." + +"Oh!" said Dora, "it is not worth while to be angry at such a trifle. +Good-bye." + +"I cannot go in this way; it makes me so unhappy not to be forgiven," +said Amy. + +"Well!" replied Dora, "I forgive you; are you satisfied now?" + +"No," said Amy, sadly, "because I don't think it is real forgiveness; I +wish I could do anything to show you that I am sorry." + +"Will you kiss me?" asked Dora, whose proud spirit was almost entirely +subdued by her cousin's meekness, though she could not yet bring herself +to confess she had been in fault. Amy's answer was a kiss, so hearty, +that Dora's impulse was to return it equally; and then, for almost the +first time in her life, she said voluntarily, "Amy, you were right and I +was wrong." + +Amy felt this was true, though she would not say so at such a moment; it +would have seemed too much like a triumph. "We can settle that next time +I come," she answered, smiling; "I care for nothing now, but keeping +Stephen and my donkey waiting in the cold; give me one more kiss." The +kiss was given, and Amy ran off quite happy, whilst Dora, though not +equally light-hearted, felt as if a burden had been taken from her +mind; and after waiting for a few moments enjoying the unusual luxury +of humility, she followed her cousin to see that she was carefully +protected against the cold. Mrs Bridget came forward to offer her +services, but Dora wished to do everything herself; and Amy declared +herself so comfortable, she thought her ride would be really enjoyable, +notwithstanding the north wind. There was one disappointment, however, +awaiting her. Stephen had been attacked by his old enemy, the gout, and +was kept a prisoner to his cottage, so that she had no resource but her +own thoughts, the man servant who attended, keeping at a distance, and +only approaching to open the gates, move away the straggling boughs of +the trees in the forest, or help to wrap the cloak more closely around +her, when the keen blast, which seemed to meet them in every direction, +blew with more than ordinary violence. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +On the day which Dora had named, Mrs Herbert and Amy were established at +the Hall. Amy, in great delight, looked round upon the preparations that +had been made for her mamma's comfort; and could not doubt, as she felt +that some of her first wishes were realised in the prospect of spending +so many days at Emmerton together, that Mrs Herbert would enjoy it +equally with herself. And certainly, if luxury could constitute a +person's happiness, there would have been nothing to desire. "Oh mamma!" +she said, drawing the easy chair close to the fire, "there is everything +we want here, just the same as at the cottage; I can make you so +comfortable when you are tired; and you can lie down, and look out +at that beautiful view. There is the spire of Emmerton church just in +front; it seems almost prettier now, when the snow is on the ground, +than it was in the summer." + +"Your aunt has been very thoughtful," replied Mrs Herbert; "but I hope +I shall feel well enough to be much with her; only we can spend the +morning together, just as if we were at home." + +"Yes," said Amy; "and you will be able to see Miss Morton whenever +you wish it; and perhaps Margaret and Dora will come and sit with us +sometimes. Oh mamma! it will be so nice!" + +"Look, Amy," said Mrs Herbert, pointing to the well-filled book-shelves: +"there will be occupation for us both, when we have nothing else to do." + +Amy began examining the books with interest, and suddenly exclaimed, +"Mamma, it must be Dora who has made everything so comfortable for us; +here are all the books that I like best; and I remember the last day I +came to Emmerton she made me tell her the names of a great many, and I +could not imagine why." + +"And these flowers, are they the result of Dora's care, do you think?" +said Mrs Herbert; "she must have gathered all there were in the +conservatory; it is quite strange to see them when the snow is on the +ground." + +"It must be Dora," replied Amy; "I don't think aunt Harrington or +Margaret ever even look at flowers. I never saw Margaret take one in her +hand, except to pull it to pieces; and there is Dora's own letter case, +and the beautiful inkstand her uncle Henry gave her." + +"I wish Dora would come and see the pleasure she has given us," said Mrs +Herbert. + +"I think she went away," answered Amy, "because she fancied you were +tired, and would rather be alone with me at first; for she begged I +would come to her in the schoolroom when I left you." + +"I should like to rest now," replied Mrs Herbert; "so you may go and +tell her how comfortable I am, and then, by and by, I will thank her +myself." + +Amy quitted the room, and Mrs Herbert endeavoured to compose herself to +sleep; but her thoughts were too busy. Whatever might be Amy's pleasure +at coming to Emmerton, she could not, herself, entirely sympathise with +it; and yet, with her perfect freedom from selfishness, she would +have imposed any restraint upon her own feelings rather then mar the +enjoyment of her child. Dora's thoughtfulness brought vividly to her +remembrance the days of her childhood, when she and her sister Edith had +delighted in attending to the comfort of others in a similar manner; +and visions of those sunny days passed before her, one after the other, +recalling forms and faces, even voices and words, which had since been +almost forgotten. A gentle knock at the door interrupted her reverie, +and Mr Harrington begged for admittance. He came to see that everything +had been provided for his sister's comfort, and expressed great +satisfaction at Dora's care; and then seating himself by her side, they +enjoyed for the next half-hour the pleasure of talking together of +their early days; and notwithstanding the melancholy reflections which +naturally arose from the conversation, the relief of his sympathy with +her present feelings was so great, that Mrs Herbert felt more comforted +and refreshed when he left her, than she could have been by any other +means. + +Amy, during this time, had found her way to the schoolroom, and +expressed her gratitude to Dora in the warmest terms; but the subject +did not appear quite agreeable to her, for she turned it off quickly, +though a close observer might have discovered, from the expression +of her countenance, that she really felt extreme pleasure. Margaret +welcomed her cousin most affectionately, as she always did when no +one else was near to attract her attention; but, by this time, Amy had +learned the true value of her words and caresses, and withdrew herself +as soon as possible, feeling that Dora's coldness, even if it were real, +was infinitely preferable to Margaret's warmth. + +"I have been begging mamma to have all the stupid people together next +week," said Dora, when Amy began inquiring what had been decided on +since she was last there, "and she is almost inclined to do it; if they +would come on Monday, and stay till Thursday, it would not be so bad; +and if she would ask two or three more, I am sure we should get on +better." + +"I will tell you who is coming on Saturday," said Margaret; "somebody +you will be delighted to see." + +"Me!" exclaimed Amy, in astonishment. "Why, I don't know any one." + +"Oh! but you do. What do you say to your friend, Mr Cunningham." Poor +Amy looked very uncomfortable. "Yes," continued Margaret, laughing; "and +you will have to talk to him all day long, for Lucy says he has taken +such a fancy to you; he declares you are the best-mannered little thing +he ever met with; and, you know, it is so rare a thing for him to see +any one who is well mannered to him, that he will be sure to seize upon +you all the time he is here." + +"And how long does he stay?" asked Amy. + +"As long as Lord Rochford does; it will be a week at least." + +"You had better go back to the cottage, Amy," said Dora; "there will be +no comfort for you here. I can just imagine how Mr Cunningham will pet +you, and talk to you, and how frightened you will look. If it were not +for your annoyance, I should quite enjoy the thoughts of seeing you +together." + +"One thing I like him for," said Amy, "he has so much good nature." + +"Yes," replied Dora; "he seems to have taken so much, that there is none +left for his sister; and now, Amy, she will be worse than ever to you, +for she hates you cordially, because her brother said, after you were +gone, that he thought being with you would do her a great deal of good." + +"I don't see what business Mr Cunningham has to think anything of the +kind," said Margaret. "I don't mean to be ill-natured, Amy; but really +the idea of your being of use to Miss Cunningham is rather too absurd." + +"I think so, too," replied Amy; "but I dare say he was only in joke." + +"Oh no! he was not; he was quite sincere; and he told Lucy that if the +London plan came to anything, he hoped an arrangement would be made for +you to be of the party." + +"And so Miss Cunningham is your enemy for life," said Dora; "not that +there is any fear of the London plan, for mamma is more strongly set +against it than ever." + +"It is half your fault, Dora," observed Margaret; "I am sure there would +be less difficulty, if you were to say you liked it; but you are always +speaking against it, and lately, too, you have taken to upholding Emily +Morton." + +"I don't see," replied Dora, "why I should say what is not true for any +one, least of all for Miss Cunningham, who knows quite well how to do it +for herself." Amy looked vexed, and Dora's conscience immediately told +her she was wrong. "I don't mean to say," she continued, "that Lucy +Cunningham tells stories exactly, but she often twists and turns things +to suit her own purpose, and she can exaggerate without the smallest +difficulty." + +"Lucy Cunningham is very much obliged to you for your opinion of her," +said Margaret, sharply; "and I shall take care to tell her what a friend +she has in you." + +"As you please; but she is not worth quarrelling about. I shall be quite +glad when she is gone to London, and then we shall hear no more about +her. I hate having nothing but Lucy Cunningham dinned into my ears from +morning till night." + +"It is better than Emily Morton, at any rate," said Margaret, with a +half contemptuous glance at Amy. "_One_ is a lady." + +"Oh Margaret!" exclaimed Amy, while the colour rushed to her face; "you +don't mean to say that Miss Morton is not a lady?" + +"I mean that she is not half so much of a lady as Lucy Cunningham; of +course she must be something like one, or mamma would not let her be +with us." + +"But indeed, Margaret," replied Amy, trying to speak calmly, "I do think +you must be wrong. I am sure if a stranger saw them together, they would +say directly there was no comparison between them." + +"But what has that to do with it?" said Margaret, "It cannot alter the +case. Lucy Cunningham is the daughter of a nobleman." + +"Yes, but that is not everything." + +"And Emily Morton is a governess," continued Margaret, in a decided +tone, as if there could be no arguing against such a truth. + +"Yes," again repeated Amy; "and yet, if Miss Cunningham were a princess, +it would make no difference in my feelings." + +"Then your feelings must be wrong, and all the world would say the +same." + +"I am sure Miss Morton is more of a lady, because she is so gentle and +kind," said Amy; "and she always thinks of other people before herself, +and never gets out of temper, and never boasts of anything." + +"Well! but those are virtues; you talk so foolishly, Amy. Susan Reynolds +or Morris may be all that, but they would not be at all the more +ladies." + +"No," said Dora, coming to Amy's assistance; "they would not be ladies, +because they would still have clumsy, awkward ways of doing things, and +of speaking." + +"Of course, that is just what I was saying!" exclaimed Margaret, +triumphantly. + +"No; but Margaret," persisted Amy, "indeed that is not what you were +saying; for I am sure Miss Cunningham is much more awkward than Miss +Morton, and yet you say that all the world would consider her superior." + +"So they would," replied Margaret. + +Amy was silent for a few minutes; at length she said, "Mamma told me one +day that we ought not to think as the world thinks, because the world +means generally a great many vain, silly persons." + +"Then you would set up to be wiser and better than everybody else, I +suppose," said Margaret. + +Dora again interposed, for she thought she saw what her cousin meant. +"Amy is right, I am sure; it would be only silly people who would think +so much more of Lucy Cunningham's birth than of other things. Not all +the rank in the world will make persons ladies and gentlemen without +manners." + +"But I mean something besides manners," said Amy; "because, what I like +in Miss Morton is not quite manner; it is her being good that helps to +make her a lady, I think." + +Dora laughed. "That is one of your strange notions, Amy. I believe +you think, that what you call being good is to make a person +everything--rich, and happy, and ladylike, and beautiful." + +"No, not beautiful," replied Amy; "and yet," she added, "I remember +once going with mamma to see a poor woman who was very ill; and she was +almost ugly, till she began to talk, and thank mamma for being kind to +her, and then her face quite changed; and mamma told me it was her being +so grateful and contented that made her look so nice." + +"I do think, Amy, you will go out of your senses some day," said +Margaret. "You talk so differently from every one else." + +"Do I? That is very strange; for all the persons I care for tell me the +same things." + +"Does Emily Morton?" asked Dora. + +"Yes, whenever I am quite alone with her, and ask her about +anything--grave things, I mean." + +"Well, Amy," said Dora, "I must say that you are the merriest grave girl +I ever met with. I don't think any one who heard you laugh would fancy +you really so demure as you are." + +"No one ever said I was grave, except you," answered Amy. "I am sure I +don't know what I am myself; but I must not stay here now, for I want so +much to see Miss Morton, and then I must go back to mamma." + +"Always Emily Morton," said Margaret, as Amy ran out of the room. + +"Always Lucy Cunningham," retorted Dora. + +"No more of that, pray, Dora. You know very well that the reason you +laugh is because you are jealous of her being fonder of me than of you." + +"Jealous! Me jealous of her! with her sandy hair and freckled----" but +here Dora stopped. + +"Well," exclaimed Margaret, who always felt a secret satisfaction at +Miss Cunningham's plain face, though she would not acknowledge it to +herself; "I thought you professed not to care about beauty--to be sure, +Lucy is not lovely." + +"I do not wish to say anything more about her," said Dora; "for I +generally get angry; only I would give something if she were not coming +here on Saturday." + +Margaret had not time to reply before Dora was gone, for she had lately +learned to distrust her powers of self-command, and to think silence +preferable to argument. The next few days were spent by Amy in great +enjoyment--everything went smoothly and pleasantly. Dora was thoughtful +and kind, Margaret in good humour, her uncle affectionate, and her aunt +seldom in her way; and, above all, Emily Morton was admitted to her +mamma's room, and from their long conversations, and Emily's expressions +of gratitude and interest, it was quite evident that she began to +consider Mrs Herbert in the light of a real friend. Not that the +conversations which passed between them were at all such as Amy +imagined. There was very little said about Emmerton, still less about +Mrs Harrington; but Mrs Herbert led Emily to talk of her father and +mother, her aunt, her early home, and her childish days; and gave her +some valuable advice as to the manner in which persons in her position +should conduct themselves, without obliging her to make complaints which +considering her own near connection with Mrs Harrington, would have been +awkward and wrong. + +Amongst Amy's pleasures during this happy time, one of the greatest +was a visit to the rectory with Miss Morton, on the afternoon preceding +Christmas-day. Their reception was even more affectionate than usual; +and as they walked home, the distance seemed only too short, whilst she +listened to Emily's praises of the persons whom, next to her mamma, she +most loved and venerated. + +"To-morrow will be Christmas-day," she said, as she lingered in Miss +Morton's room on her return; "and the next day Miss Cunningham will be +here; so I suppose we shall not be able to get a walk to the rectory +again, yet; but if you would tell me when you go out, that I may be +with you if I can, I should be so very glad. You know I like you so much +better than Miss Cunningham." + +"I doubt if Miss Cunningham is a favourite with any one but your cousin +Margaret," was the reply; "but she has so much to spoil her, that I do +not think we ought to be hard upon her." + +"It is so odd that you should pity her, as you always do," said Amy. +"Now I should like so much to be her,--that is, not herself, but to +be my own self, with her rank and fortune; and then I would get such a +pretty little room for you, and you should come and live with me, if you +would." + +"And do nothing all day but amuse myself?" + +"No, not that. I know you never would bear to do nothing; but you should +teach me music and drawing as you do now, and we might have Rose with us +too--it would be so nice." + +"And it is so nice to teach you music and drawing, and to have Rose with +me, and to live in a comfortable little room. You see, I have it all." + +"Ah, yes!" said Amy; "but then there are some things, now--tiresome, +dreadful things--which you never should have to bear if you lived with +me. And I would love you so dearly, so very dearly." + +Miss Morton drew Amy more closely to her, and gave her one of those +kisses which she had lately begun to value far more than words. + +"I should grieve very much," she said, "if I did not think you loved me +dearly now--there are but few left in the world who do." + +"But you have mamma to love you besides," said Amy; "and Mrs Walton, I +am sure she must be fond of you; and sometimes, perhaps, she will ask +you to stay at the rectory; and mamma and I can go there too, and then +there will be no one to interrupt. I am so glad Miss Cunningham does not +know Mrs Walton." + +"Perhaps, so am I too," said Emily, smiling; "but we must try and be +agreeable to her on Saturday." + +"Ah! Saturday," repeated Amy, sighing; "all my pleasure will be over +then--real, quiet pleasure, I mean. On Monday the other people come, +and Dora says, that as I am her cousin, I shall be expected to help to +entertain them. But I never did entertain any one in my life; I don't +quite know what it means. I suppose it is talking and showing pictures; +but one can't do that all day." + +"Your cousin Frank comes to-night," replied Emily, laughing; "and he is +so merry, that he will take half the trouble off your hands." + +Amy's face brightened. "I forgot that; but then they are girls--boys +cannot entertain girls. I do think, if I had but a fairy's wand, I +should strike them all as they came into the house, and change them into +boys, and set them to play at football and leapfrog, and all the trouble +would be over. But I am not Dora; and if they are dull they will not +complain of me." + +Susan Reynolds here interrupted them with a message from Mrs Herbert; +and Amy left Miss Morton with her mind in an uncomfortable state, having +forgotten the pleasure of her visit to the rectory, and thinking only of +the difficulties of the next week, and of all the strange faces she was +to see. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +The morning of Christmas-day was in every respect as bright and +beautiful as Amy could possibly have desired. The clear sky was +unclouded, and its brilliant blue was rendered only the more lovely from +its contrast with the leafless branches which were pencilled against +it. The lawn glittered like a sheet of silver, and the dark hues of the +holly and the laurel exhibited in full perfection the richness of the +crimson berries, and the delicacy of the pure hoar-frost with which they +were covered. There was an elastic feeling in the air, which would have +given strength and refreshment even to the weary watcher by the bed of +sickness. All nature seemed to rejoice, and Amy awoke to rejoice also. +Too young to have anxiety for the future, or sorrow for the past, she +felt only that she was in the place she most delighted in, under the +care of the mother whose only wish was for her happiness, and surrounded +by all the means of enjoyment that wealth could give. True, the wealth +was not her own; but it was, at that moment, entirely devoted to her +comfort, and the present was too full of pleasure to leave any space for +envy and discontent. Even the remembrance of her father could not check +the gaiety of her spirit, for she had not yet learned to feel that +"hope deferred maketh the heart sick." Every day brought with it +the expectation of hearing from him; and when the expectation was +disappointed, there was left in its stead, not the wretchedness of +doubt, but the blessing of hope for the morrow. + +Her first thought on that morning was given to her mother; the next to +her cousin Frank. He had arrived late the night before, so late, that +she had been only able to remark the mixture of delight at his return +home, and sad recollection of the one missing, who ought to have +welcomed him, which had been shown by all, and by none more than Dora; +and Mrs Herbert, unwilling to be any restraint upon them, had sent Amy +to bed, and soon after retired herself. + +This had been rather disappointing; but Amy had satisfied herself that +he seemed very lively, and was more like Margaret than Dora; and for +any further knowledge she was obliged to wait in patience till the +breakfast-hour. It was usual for her cousins to breakfast in the +schoolroom with Miss Morton; but on Christmas-day there was an exception +to almost every general rule, and they were all to be together, even +Miss Morton being admitted as one of the party, although the little +attention that was shown her, nothing indeed beyond the merest civility, +made it an occasion of far more pain than pleasure. + +Frank, when he appeared, was in the highest possible spirit, full of +his school adventures, and the characters of his playfellows, and told +several stories in the regular school-boy slang, which Amy could not +at all understand; but his presence took off much of the stiffness and +restraint which every one else seemed to feel before Mrs Harrington; +and she herself occasionally relaxed into something like a smile as she +listened to his merry laugh. Amy had rather dreaded the society of +a boy--she had never been accustomed to it, and imagined he must be +boisterous and rude; but with all his spirits, Frank Harrington was +still so gentlemanly that she soon felt at ease. + +"Will the carriage be wanted to go to church this morning?" said Mr +Harrington. "Amy, my dear, do you think your mamma will venture out this +cold weather?" + +Amy was afraid not; she had been to her mamma's room, and had found +her so tired and unwell, that it was most probable she would not come +down-stairs till the middle of the day. + +An expression of anxiety and disappointment came over Mr Harrington's +countenance. "That is bad news for Christmas-day," he said. "I would +give a great deal, Amy, to procure your dear mamma such a bright colour +as you have. I well remember the time when she would have walked to +Emmerton church and back twice, and laughed at the notion of being tired +afterwards." + +"Every one in these days is grown weak and sickly," said Mrs Harrington, +in her usual severe manner; "that is, if they are not so really, they +fancy it." + +Amy thought this might be meant for her mamma: and she would certainly +have said something in reply, but for the fear of being disrespectful. + +Mr Harrington, however, had no such fear; and answered, that he should +be very glad to believe Mrs Herbert's illness imaginary, for it would +take a most painful load off his mind. + +"But she is better, a great deal, than she was, uncle," said Amy; "she +walked several times round the shrubbery at the cottage, the day before +we came here, and did not seem at all tired afterwards." + +"Several times round a shrubbery, Amy!" exclaimed Frank; "why that must +be a walk for a snail. What do you say to a walk of six miles and back +before breakfast? I knew a boy who did it just to buy a new cricket-bat; +and a fine scrape he got into when he was found out." + +Amy looked all proper surprise at such a wonderful feat; and Frank, +delighted at finding a new auditor, kept her for the next quarter of +an hour, repeating his most extraordinary adventures, with such spirit, +that Amy at last began to think there would be more amusement in being +a boy, and going to a public school, than even in the possession of all +the splendour which usually formed the subject of her day-dreams. The +church bells prevented any further conversation, and she was glad to +escape from Frank's merriment for the enjoyment of a quiet walk with +Miss Morton, who had more than ordinary pleasure in being with her on +this morning, from having felt so much alone in the midst of a family +party. Christmas-day had never been to her what it is to many, for she +had never known the happiness of having all her relations about her; but +she could recollect the time when it was spent at home, with her father +and mother, and she sighed now to think how little the blessing had then +been valued. + +Amy was walking with her cousins in the rectory garden, which adjoined +the churchyard, when Mr Walton came to her, after the conclusion of the +service, to inquire for her mamma. + +"And your uncle, too, my dear," he said, "I want very much to see him; +what can have become of him?" + +"There he is," said Amy, pointing to a group of persons standing by the +gate; "he is talking to Mr Dornford, and Frank is with him." + +"He must introduce Frank to me," said Mr Walton. "Besides, I have +something particular to say to him. How did you tell me your mamma was +to-day?" + +"Very weak and poorly," replied Amy; "but she seemed better when I left +her." + +"Ah!" said Mr Walton, half muttering to himself; "I doubt if it will be +right; it may only excite a false hope--there will be no harm in delay." + +"What?" exclaimed Amy, who just caught the last words, "delay, did you +say?--what delay?" + +"Nothing, nothing," answered Mr Walton, hastily. "I wish your uncle +would not make me delay here; he does not generally speak to any +one when he leaves the church, but to-day he is having quite a +conversation." + +Amy looked earnestly at Mr Walton, with the conviction that this was +only said to distract her attention; and an indefinable feeling of +mingled dread and curiosity took possession of her mind. But there was +nothing to satisfy her. The expression of Mr Walton's countenance was +cheerful as usual; and Amy, though very quick in perception, was not +quite old enough to perceive a trace of thoughtfulness beneath it. She +did notice, however, the quick, impatient glances which he cast towards +the churchyard gate, and the restlessness of his manner as he paced +up and down the little walk leading to it, venting his uneasiness by +kicking away the leaves and broken sticks lying in his path. In another +person it would not have been remarkable; but she was so accustomed to +see Mr Walton perfectly composed, that in an instant it awakened her +attention. The parting words were at last said; Mr Dornford walked away; +and Amy hoped that in a few minutes her curiosity might be set at rest. +But she was disappointed. Mr Walton eagerly seized her uncle's arm, +and drew him aside. A short conversation ensued; and then Mr Harrington +called out that they had better not wait for him, but walk home alone, +and he would follow. Amy really felt uneasy, and yet she could hardly +tell why, but her mamma's constant anxiety had in some degree infected +her; and anything like mystery immediately made her think of Colonel +Herbert. Miss Morton listened to her fears with interest, and did +her utmost to calm her mind, telling her that, in all probability, Mr +Walton's business was something connected with his parish, and that +it was unlikely, almost impossible, he could have heard anything from +India; but she advised her not to mention her notions to her mamma +till after her uncle's return, as it would only make her needlessly +uncomfortable; and if there were anything to be told, she would not be +kept long in suspense. Amy hearkened, and tried to believe; and had been +so used to depend upon the opinions of others, as to be almost persuaded +she had been fanciful without reason, while she readily promised to +say nothing of her anxiety; but she could not recover her usual happy +spirits; and when they reached Emmerton, instead of going immediately +to Mrs Herbert's room, she petitioned Miss Morton to walk once more with +her to the lodge gate, that they might see when her uncle arrived. He +waited, however, so long, that Amy herself grew weary of watching, and +was the first to propose returning to the house. + +"You will be tired," she said to Miss Morton, "and then we shall not be +able to go and see Mrs Walton this afternoon. You know, you promised you +would, if you could manage it, because you did not like to wait behind +after church; and I should be so sorry to miss it, for we always used to +dine with her on Christmas-day; and she will be so vexed if she does not +see either mamma or me." + +Miss Morton acknowledged herself cold, though not tired; and, at any +rate, it was useless to stand longer at the gate, for, after all, there +might be nothing to hear; and Amy repeated for the twentieth time, +that she did not really think there was anything, though, at the same +instant, she ran a few steps down the road, just to look once more round +the corner. + +Mrs Herbert was dressed, and more comfortable, and had many questions to +ask, as to whether Amy had had a pleasant walk, whether she had spoken +to Mr Walton, and whether Mrs Walton found her rheumatism worse than +usual; and Amy, seated by the window, endeavoured to answer them all, +with her mind wandering to other things, when the sudden appearance of +Mr Walton and her uncle, on the terrace below, made her stop short +and exclaim, "There they are, both of them. I think there must be +something." + +The next moment brought her to recollection; but there was no retracting +what had been said,--she was obliged to explain; and the change in her +mother's countenance, and the subdued tremulousness of her voice, soon +gave her reason to repent her incautiousness. + +"This will not do," said Mrs Herbert, endeavouring to command +herself. "Amy, my love, tell your uncle I should wish to speak to him +immediately." + +The message was, however, unnecessary. Mr Harrington had seen Amy at +the window, and now, pausing in his walk, begged to know if he might be +allowed to come up. "And Mr Walton is with me," he added. "May he come +too?" + +"Yes, directly," was Amy's reply. Her mamma was just wishing to see them +both; and in a few minutes their steps were heard along the gallery. + +Mrs Herbert turned very pale; and Amy stood by her, kissing her +forehead, and trying to soothe the agitation she had so inconsiderately +excited. + +"It is quite unnatural," said Mr Walton, as he entered, "to pay you a +visit on Christmas-day;--a sad falling off from former times. I have +been half quarrelling with Mr Harrington for not allowing you to adhere +to the ancient fashion, and dine with us; but he declares I am very +unreasonable." + +Mrs Herbert attempted to smile, but the effort was too great. + +"You are feeling ill to-day, my dear Ellen?" said Mr Harrington, kindly, +taking her hand. + +"No, not ill," replied Mrs Herbert, faintly; "that is, not worse than +usual, but anxious--very anxious. Oh Charles!" she added, looking +eagerly in her brother's face, as if wishing to read there all she +longed to know, "have you anything to tell me? In pity, do not keep me +in suspense." + +The tone in which this was spoken prevented anything like further delay. + +"It is nothing bad," replied Mr Harrington; "and yet it is not so +decidedly good as to allow one to build upon it. Mr Walton has had a +letter from a friend in India, in which he says, that the accounts of +the war have been greatly exaggerated; for, in fact, there has been +nothing more than an insurrection in one of the provinces, which is +now quelled; and there was a report that Colonel Herbert had joined his +regiment, which had been sent some way up the country." + +Mrs Herbert did not speak in answer; she drew one long breath, as if her +mind had been relieved from a dreadful weight; a calm, sweet smile +of deep happiness passed across her yet beautiful features; and then, +covering her face with her hands, she silently blessed God for His great +mercy. "May I see the letter?" was the first question she asked when the +effect of the intelligence had a little subsided. + +Mr Walton produced it instantly, saying that he had brought it for the +express purpose of showing it to her. "Not," he continued, "that there +is anything in it beyond what Mr Harrington has just told you. The +circumstance is mentioned in the light careless way in which we all +speak of things of no importance to ourselves, but which may, perhaps, +affect even the lives of our fellow-creatures. My friend Campbell had no +notion how deeply it would interest me." + +Mrs Herbert seized the letter, and read the sentences again and again; +but, as Mr Walton had stated, there was nothing further to be gained +from them, though every word was examined and weighed; as yet, it was +only report; and with this Mrs Herbert was obliged to be contented. "I +see," she said, looking at her brother, who was evidently wishing, yet +afraid to speak, "you are anxious lest I should build too much upon +this; but I hope I shall not. Whatever trial may be in store, it would +be almost cruel to deprive me of a few weeks of hope." + +"I am only afraid of the consequences of a disappointment," replied Mr +Harrington; "but I cannot give sermons to any one, especially to you, +so I shall leave you with Mr Walton; his advice will be much more +efficacious than mine." + +"Here is a better sermon than any words!" said Mr Walton, as he patted +Amy's head, when her uncle was gone. "For your child's sake, you will +not, I am sure, allow either hope or fear to have too powerful an effect +upon you. I do not think either of you is well fitted to bear any great +excitement." + +Amy's countenance certainly showed that Mr Walton's words were true; +every tinge of colour had faded from her cheek, and her bright dark +eyes were dimmed with tears, which she was using her utmost efforts to +repress. She had been silent, for she felt too much for words; her hope +was far more certain than her mother's, since it had not been so often +chilled by disappointment; and the dreams of happiness which filled her +mind were for the present without a cloud. + +"Yes," said Mrs Herbert, in reply to Mr Walton's observation, "Amy is +indeed a motive for every exertion; it would be a hard thing to cause +her anxiety for both her parents." + +Amy tried to speak; and hardly understanding her own feelings, was +almost ashamed to find that her tears were more ready than her smiles at +this moment of happiness. "Dear, dear mamma," she exclaimed, "we shall +never be anxious now. And you think he will be here soon?" + +"We _hope_ everything that is delightful," said Mr Walton, "but we do +not _think certainly_ about anything; so, my dear child, you must be +contented as yet to go on just as you have done for the last twelve +months; and you must let me talk a little to your mamma alone. I am sure +she will never be able to reason calmly while that little earnest face +of yours is before her." + +Amy felt slightly inclined to rebel, as it seemed almost wrong that she +should be sent away from her mother at such a time; but she had never +been accustomed to dispute Mr Walton's wishes; and left the room to make +Miss Morton and Dora acquainted with the intelligence her mother had +received. + +Miss Morton's room was the first place she sought; and the next quarter +of an hour was spent in telling her of all that was to be done when +Colonel Herbert returned,--how they were to talk, and ride, and walk, +and the alterations that were to be made at the cottage, and the places +he was to take her to see; and Emily, though feeling that the foundation +of all this happiness was insecure, could not make up her mind to check +such simple, innocent hopes. The same things were again repeated to Dora +in the schoolroom; and Margaret would have had her share also, but +the indifferent tone in which she said, "Dear me! how strange!" when +informed of the tidings from India, quite chilled Amy's flow of spirits; +and she hastened away to find a more sympathising listener. Dora's +interest in her cousin, and all that concerned her, had lately so much +increased, that it was no effort to her to listen as long as Amy felt +inclined to talk; and she was sorry when Miss Morton appeared, to remind +her of the intended walk to the rectory, and to ask whether she still +wished to go. + +"Oh yes!" said Amy, "if mamma does not care about my leaving her. I +do so long to see Mrs Walton now more than ever; but I will just go to +mamma's room and ask her." + +Mrs Herbert's conversation with Mr Walton had been long and engrossing; +and this, added to the previous excitement, had so fatigued her, that +she was looking much worse than in the morning; and Amy resolved at +first not to mention the walk, and took up a book as if not wishing to +go out. But Mrs Herbert never forgot the pleasures of others, and would +not for an instant allow her to think of remaining at home, declaring +that rest and solitude would be better than any society, and that it +would be a much greater pleasure to hear an account of the visit on +their return than to keep her by her side during the whole afternoon. +Amy was only half-satisfied; but it was in vain to say that it was only +the thought of the morning, and she was very much pleased with her book, +and should be quite happy in reading it. Mrs Herbert insisted, and she +went. + +Mrs Walton's disposition was more sanguine than her husband's. She +had seen less of the world, and had heard and known less of its +disappointments; and her fondness for Mrs Herbert made her seize upon +every prospect of comfort for her, so eagerly, that there was no fear of +Amy's hopes being again damped by any warning; and, perhaps, that hour's +visit was as full of delight to her as it was to the happy child, who, +seated at her feet, looked up with a face so innocent and gay, that +it seemed impossible to dread lest any evil should be near to mar +her enjoyment. There was also a charm to Mrs Walton in watching Miss +Morton's interest in her little companion. She had a quick perception of +character, and was peculiarly sensible of anything like selfishness of +feeling; and she had often observed that, when persons have suffered +much themselves, they seem unable to enter into the pleasures of others. +But affliction had produced a very different effect upon Emily Morton; +and now, though she had lost both her parents, had been obliged to +leave her home, and had no prospect for the future but one of painful +dependence, she still smiled as cheerfully, and spoke as hopefully to +Amy, as if no thought of the difference in their situations had ever +crossed her mind. + +"You must take care of your dear mamma," were Mrs Walton's parting +words. "Colonel Herbert will look very blank if he returns to see the +pale cheek she has now; for his sake, tell her she must endeavour to get +strong." + +Amy promised to be very watchful, and had no doubt that everything would +be right. But Mrs Walton was not so well satisfied, and drew Miss +Morton aside, to ask more particularly how Mrs Herbert had borne +the intelligence. Miss Morton could give her little information, but +undertook to send a note to the rectory in the evening to ease her mind; +though at the time the request was made Mrs Walton acknowledged that it +was apparently absurd to be so anxious. + +"You would not wonder at it, however," she said, "if you knew all that +Mrs Herbert has been to me for many years; even during the lifetime of +my own child, she was almost equally dear to me, and since that great +loss, I have, felt as if she were left to be my special treasure. I need +not say to _you_ that she is deserving of all, and more than all, the +affection I can give." + +"And her child is exactly similar to her," replied Miss Morton. + +"Yes," said Mrs Walton; "how could the child of such parents be +different? There is but one thing in which she does not resemble her +mother--her disposition is naturally more lively and hopeful. It would +require, probably, very much affliction to destroy the buoyancy of her +spirits; and I would willingly pray that many years may pass before she +is so tried, unless it should be required for her good, for it would be +a bitter thing to lose the sound of her merry laugh, and the brightness +of her smile." + +"It would make Emmerton very different to me," said Miss Morton. "As +I have often told you, I could hardly have supposed before, how much +interest and pleasure may be added to life by one so young;--a mere +child, as she really is, and yet with thoughtfulness and consideration +which make me fancy her much older. My most earnest wish is, that Rose +may one day be like her." + +Amy's approach interrupted the conversation; and Mrs Walton parted +from Emily Morton with a warmer feeling of affection, from the entire +correspondence of their feelings towards her. + +The happiness of Amy's mind was a peculiar blessing at Emmerton on that +day. It was Christmas-day; and every one knew that it was a time +for especial enjoyment, though, perhaps, few of the party could have +satisfactorily explained the reason why, and fewer still could have +entered into the joy which none but a Christian can feel on the +celebration of the Birth of their Redeemer. It was a duty to be +cheerful, and yet almost every one had a secret grief which prevented +them from being so. Mr and Mrs Harrington could not forget all that had +passed within the last twelvemonth; and Dora and Frank sighed many times +as they missed their favourite companion;--even Margaret, though she +had suffered much less than the others when Edward died, could not be +insensible to the change in the family, and wandered about the house +complaining that it was not at all what Christmas-day used to be; but +Amy had no such recollections to sadden her, and soon enlivened her +cousins by the influence of her own gaiety, notwithstanding the shade +which was occasionally cast over it, when Dora reminded her that by that +time on the following day she would probably be occupied in trying to +understand Mr Cunningham's unintelligible language. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +Saturday came, and with it the expected guests; and at a very awkward +hour, just about twelve o'clock, when there was a long afternoon before +them, with nothing to be done. Amy had made up her mind that they could +not possibly arrive before four or five. It was some distance from +Rochford Park to Emmerton; and she was sure there must be a great deal +to do before they set off, and, in consequence, she had calculated upon +seeing very little of either Mr or Miss Cunningham on that day. Her +dismay, therefore, was extreme, as she watched from the gallery window, +and saw the carriage slowly driving down the avenue. She was not, +however, required to entertain them, for it was her duty to attend upon +her mamma; and in the afternoon there was an engagement to walk with +Miss Morton and Rose to Stephen's cottage, to inquire how he was getting +on after his attack of gout, and carry him a new flannel-waistcoat, +which Rose had taken great delight in helping to make. There was, +therefore, no fear, she thought, of seeing much of Miss Cunningham, +except at dinner-time; and as for her brother, he would probably not +come in the way at all. And having thus relieved her mind, Amy returned +to her mamma's room, delighting more than ever in its quietness and +privacy. + +Mrs Herbert was still very unwell; she had passed a sleepless, anxious +night, at one moment anticipating Colonel Herbert's return with the +utmost confidence, and the next picturing to herself all the bitterness +of disappointment; but she made many efforts against this distrust, and +tried to feel, what she knew to be true, that whatever might happen, it +would be for her good, and that she should be supported under it. + +Miss Cunningham appeared in the schoolroom in all the splendour of her +new winter dress, made after the last Parisian fashion, and, for the +first time, regretted that Amy was not present to be overpowered by +such magnificence. Dora was the only person there, and it was useless +attempting to make an impression upon her; she had no eyes for anything +belonging to Miss Cunningham; and her arrival at such an early hour was +so unexpected and disagreeable, that it required some effort to be civil +to her. "We did not expect you till dinner-time," she said, after the +first greeting was over, in a tone which plainly meant, "and we did not +want you." + +"Oh!" replied Miss Cunningham, "papa had some business in the +neighbourhood, and so he insisted upon our setting off at eleven; and a +great bore it was. I am sure Warren must have spoiled half my dresses by +packing them in such a hurry. My new-worked muslin, I suspect, will be +quite unwearable, and the French gray silk not much better; and as for +the white silk, and the pink crape, and my morning dresses, I am quite +unhappy about them. The only two which I feel at all sure of are the +figured lilac satinet, and the pale green poplin--those I saw her put in +myself." + +The tone of pretended indifference in which this was spoken irritated +Dora almost beyond endurance; perhaps the more so, because she was +sensible of having been at times guilty of the same folly. "I have +no doubt the dresses will do very well," she answered. "A lady's-maid +always understands how to pack; and if they should be injured, it will +not signify, as far as the appearance goes, for there is no one coming +here who will take the smallest notice of what you have on." + +Miss Cunningham looked and felt extremely mortified, and evidently +showed it by the tone in which she said, "I thought you were going to +have a large party, and a dance, and all sorts of things." + +"What a strange idea!" exclaimed Dora. "What should we have a dance +for?" + +"I thought everybody had dances when they asked their friends at +Christmas," said Miss Cunningham; "that is to say, we have been +accustomed to it when we have visited people of our own rank in the +county; but I suppose it is not the custom amongst common people." + +"Perhaps not," replied Dora. "Of course, we can tell nothing about them; +but whether it is the custom or not, it would make no difference to us. +Papa and mamma generally do as they choose, without caring about the +rest of the world." + +"And will there be nobody, then?" asked Miss Cunningham, with a sudden +pang, as she thought of the green poplin, and the white silk, and the +pink crape, wasting their splendour upon Mr and Mrs Harrington. + +"Just a few people," was the reply; "the young Dornfords, and their +papa, and one or two others." + +"What, boys! school-boys!" exclaimed Miss Cunningham, in horror; and +before Dora could answer, Margaret came into the room in particularly +good spirits, and with a manner which formed a singular contrast to her +sister's. The embraces were so fervent, the expressions of affection so +warm, that a common observer might have supposed, with reason, that this +was the first meeting after an absence of several years, between very +dear friends, while Dora looked on with a curling lip, and a contracted +brow, and a secret rejoicing that she was not in Margaret's place. + +"When you have done kissing, Margaret," she said, at length, "perhaps +you will just listen to me. Amy wishes to dine to-day at half-past one; +and mamma has no objection, and so it is to be." + +"Really, Dora," replied Margaret, "it is very rude to attend to Amy's +wishes instead of Lucy's. I always thought relations were to be thought +of last." + +"Amy wishes to dine at half-past one; and mamma has no objection, and +so it is to be," repeated Dora, with a manner which she intended to be +dignified, though it was only very cross. + +"Don't mind her," half whispered Margaret to Miss Cunningham; "it is +only her foolish way; we need not dine earlier than we choose for Amy. +It really is too absurd to think of giving up to her, and I shall speak +to mamma about it." + +Dora pretended not to hear this speech, and left the room satisfied with +having exhibited her authority and carelessness of Miss Cunningham's +feelings, and dissatisfied, in her secret heart, by the consciousness +of having been extremely unamiable. She met Amy on the stairs; and the +sight of her gay, innocent face, which seemed quite a reproach, had +seldom been so unwelcome; but it was impossible to vent any anger upon +her, and hastily passing, Dora shut herself up in her own room; while +Amy, who had lately been quite unused to such a manner from her cousin, +could only wonder in silence what had happened to discompose her. + +Miss Cunningham, in the meantime, relieved from Dora's presence, felt +no scruple in giving way to her expressions of dislike to Amy; and, +with great earnestness, endeavoured to inspire Margaret with similar +feelings. It was so strange, so unusual--such a very great liberty, +for a cousin to think of choosing what time every one else should dine; +really, she could not have imagined that Mrs Harrington would allow it; +but she had always observed that Amy Herbert was very much at her ease; +in a little time she would have everything her own way. "Of course, I +don't mean to speak against her," she continued; "only I know a family +just like yours, Margaret, where there was a cousin brought up, and at +last her uncle and aunt really became fonder of her than they were of +their own children." + +"There is no fear of that with mamma," replied Margaret; "I am sure she +does not care a straw for Amy. Papa is different. I do think, sometimes, +he takes a good deal of notice of her; but then, you know, she is not +brought up with us; she is only here on a visit." + +"That does not make any difference; I am quite sure, if you do not take +care she will stand in your way in everything. Papa said, the other +day, that he thought Mrs Harrington would have consented to our going to +London, only she remembered your cousin; and then she declared, as she +should feel obliged to take her, the plan would not do." + +Margaret's vexation was very great, yet she could not entirely enter +into her companion's antipathy; she had felt too much the charm of Amy's +sweet temper and obliging disposition to be able cordially to abuse her. +But Miss Cunningham loved the sound of her own voice too well to require +an answer; and the expression of her own likings and dislikings was all +that was important to her. "George provokes me so," she said, "he does +nothing, now, but lecture me from morning till night, and wish I was +like her. Really, I think he might find some one my own equal in rank +for me to imitate, if he is so dissatisfied. I told him, as we were +coming here, that if he said anything about her being with us in London, +I would not go till next year; and I may have quite my own way about it. +So I have put a stop to that." + +Margaret was annoyed, though she did not like to appear so. Miss +Cunningham's superior age and rank kept her always considerably in awe; +but she was painfully struck by the want of ladylike feeling, which had +induced her friend to speak in such terms of so near a relation. + +Miss Cunningham, however, could never discover when she had said or done +anything amiss. From her childhood her perception on such subjects +had been singularly obtuse; and nothing in her education had served to +quicken her knowledge of character; she went on, therefore, in the +same tone, with the full impression that all her observations must be +agreeable. "Dora tells me that there is no one invited here but a parcel +of school-boys and girls; and really, I must say, it was hardly worth +while to come six miles this cold weather merely for them--of course, I +thought there was to be a dance." + +Margaret endeavoured to explain her sister's statement. There were to +be some boys, certainly, as companions for Frank--but there were to +be other people besides; and, indeed, her mamma had sent out some more +notes only this morning, because Dora said that she would rather have a +great many to entertain than a few. + +"Then there will be a dance," said Miss Cunningham. "How are you to +amuse yourselves else?" + +"It would be very nice," replied Margaret; "but I don't quite think papa +and mamma have any notion of it. You know Christmas is not now what it +was last year, when Edward was alive." + +"Oh yes; to be sure--I know all that. Of course, you were all very +miserable, and cried a great deal at the time. I remember I was +dreadfully wretched when my little brother William died. Indeed, mamma +said she never knew any one with such strong feelings in her life. But, +then, it is all past now; and it is right to be cheerful, and try and +forget it." + +"I wish you would ask mamma," said Margaret, "She would listen to you, +at any rate; and she could not be angry at any proposal from you. It +certainly would be a good way of amusing them." + +"I don't mind, in the least, asking," answered Miss Cunningham. "I never +did mind it, from a child. Mamma says it surprises her to see how little +of the stupid shyness I have, which makes other girls so disagreeable. +Let me see,--I shall wear my white silk, I think; there is a blonde fall +to go with it, which makes it look beautiful. That or the pink crape. +Pink suits my complexion best; but then it is not quite so dressy. There +is a picture of some great lady in the saloon at Rochford, which papa +says is just like me in my pink crape. Mary Queen of Scots, I think it +is, or Queen Elizabeth--I don't know which; only it is a queen of some +kind. What shall you wear?" + +"Oh!" said Margaret, sadly, "you know we are not yet out of mourning, +so we can have nothing but white; only I wish mamma would give us new +dresses." + +"Of course she will. You can't possibly have a dance without a new +dress; nobody ever heard of such a thing. My white silk is quite new; +and the pink crape I only put on one evening for papa to see. We shall +dance, I suppose, in the hall. And how many persons do you think there +will be?" + +Margaret had some difficulty in following the swiftness of her +companion's imagination. It was very delightful to picture the hall, +brilliantly lighted up and filled with company, and herself exciting +every one's admiration by the side of her plain friends But then came +another idea, not quite so agreeable,--Mrs Harrington's stern features +and look of surprise, when the plan should be first proposed. +Margaret trembled as she thought of it; and, but for Miss Cunningham's +unshrinking courage, the wish for the ball would soon have passed away. +When a fancy, however, takes possession of a weak, selfish mind, there +is but little room left for any other consideration. Miss Cunningham's +mind was of this description; it was seldom capable of retaining +more than one idea at a time, and whatever that might be, it was +all-engrossing. A little while ago, the journey to London had occupied +every thought; now, her only wish was, that a dance should be given at +Emmerton; and she was so firmly resolved that it must take place, that +every obstacle, every notion of propriety, sank into nothing. + +Margaret listened, and wondered, and wished, and at last ended in +agreeing that a dance was quite necessary for their happiness, and for +the happiness of each of the other members of the family, Mrs Harrington +included; and that the only way to manage it was for Miss Cunningham to +talk to her mamma about it that very day. + +The first thing that startled Margaret from her new dream of enjoyment +was Dora's look of astonishment when informed at dinner of their +intentions. "Do you really mean," she said, turning to Miss Cunningham, +"that you are going to tell mamma we ought to have a dance this +Christmas?" + +"Yes," was the reply. "I half thought of talking to papa about it first; +but he might make some objection; and George might say no--so it is best +to go at once to Mrs Harrington." + +"And do you recommend Miss Cunningham to do it?" asked Dora, looking at +her sister. + +"Yes, why should I not?" said Margaret, half frightened. "Do you think +mamma will be angry?" + +"Try, that is all," replied Dora. + +"Perhaps," said Miss Morton, "Miss Cunningham is not quite aware of the +painful circumstances which might make Mrs Harrington unwilling, at this +time, to give so large a party." + +Miss Cunningham looked, in answer, astonished at hearing such an +observation from Emily Morton in her presence. She did not, however, +think the remark worthy of reply in words, and continued her account +of what she thought ought to be done, and then again repeated her +intentions with regard to her dress, ending by saying to Amy, "I suppose +you have a white muslin; that will be well enough, as you are such a +child." + +Dora's amazement at Miss Cunningham's boldness was so great that she +made no attempt to prevent her following her own inclinations; besides, +she rather enjoyed the thought of her being put down by Mrs Harrington, +and therefore ate her dinner in dignified silence; whilst Amy, whose +astonishment was not less than her cousin's, felt she had no right to +interfere, though she did hope something would be said to induce Miss +Cunningham to refrain from taking so great a liberty. + +But, perhaps, Margaret was the person who felt most uncomfortable. At +first the notion of a dance had been so agreeable that every objection +was overlooked; but Dora's manner had recalled her to herself, and she +began heartily to wish that the thing had never been mentioned; for if +her mamma were spoken to, her name was sure to be brought forward; and +when dinner was over, she endeavoured most anxiously to inspire +her friend with a little awe, by hinting at her own fears, and Mrs +Harrington's particularities. But she hinted in vain. Nothing but the +plainest meaning in the plainest language could ever be understood by +Miss Cunningham; and Margaret was at last obliged to beg that she would +speak to her papa, and get the plan suggested by him. + +Dora was in the room whilst this was passing, and still secretly desired +that the original intention might be persisted in; and at first there +appeared every probability of it; for Miss Cunningham stared, pouted, +and seemed quite puzzled at the idea that anything she could say could +be taken amiss. However, if Margaret were really silly enough to be +afraid about such a trifle, she would do as she wished, but merely +to please her; she only rejoiced that she was not kept in such +leading-strings herself. + +"It would be a good thing if you were," muttered Dora, as she sat by the +window, looking with a careless eye upon the quiet, wintry beauty of the +garden. + +It would have appeared lovely and peaceful had the tone of her mind been +the same; but the contrast was too great to please her. The bright sky +brought no cheerfulness to a heart discontented with itself; it only +caused a sigh for the vanished pleasures of the summer; and the white +frost, which still hung on the evergreens, called forth nothing but +an exclamation against the miserable cold weather, and the desolation, +wretchedness, and dulness of everything and everybody in the month of +December. Amy was gone for her walk with Miss Morton; Frank had set out +for a ramble with his papa; they were stupid and disagreeable, and to be +pardoned for leaving her behind, after she had refused the entreaties +of both to go with them, only when they were compared with Margaret and +Miss Cunningham, who was at that moment more unendurable than ever. +She really could not remain any longer listening to her never-ending +chattering; and in the most desperate fit of ill-humour, with which +she had been afflicted for weeks, Dora put on her bonnet and cloak, +and sallied forth for a solitary walk. In which direction to go she was +undecided; the shrubbery was dull, the hill was cold, the park not +fit for a winter's walk, and the terrace far too near the house to be +agreeable; and, as a last resource, she determined on finding her way +to Stephen's cottage, in the hope of meeting Amy, though she had never +before taken the trouble to visit it. + +The path led along the side of the hill, which was covered by the +Emmerton plantations, and then emerged into some open fields, though +one of which flowed the deep, rapid stream, which at Emmerton almost +expanded into a lake. A wooden bridge across the water, and a narrow +lane, then led to Stephen's cottage, which stood alone in its small, +neat garden, showing, even in winter, symptoms of the care and taste +bestowed upon it. The beauty of the walk was, however, wholly lost upon +Dora; she only felt that it was very cold, and would have returned home +could anything have been found within doors at all more alluring than +the severity of the weather without. The sound of approaching voices +first roused her from her discontented reverie; and, as she looked +hastily round, she perceived her papa and Frank coming down the hill. + +Mr Harrington expressed surprise at finding her alone so far from the +house, and objected to her proceeding farther, laying some blame on +Miss Morton for not having accompanied her. Dora's ill-humour did not +interfere with her usual quick sense of justice; and lately she had +become peculiarly sensible to the habit which prevailed at Emmerton, of +making Miss Morton bear the burden of other people's faults; perhaps, +too, some compunction for having occasionally been guilty of the same +offence, though not in an equal degree, made her now very desirous of +explaining the truth. Mr Harrington was easily satisfied; he had +rather an interest in Miss Morton; she was so quiet and unobtrusive and +lady-like, and never troubled him with complaints; but he insisted upon +Frank's accompanying his sister, if she still wished to go farther; and +though Dora declared there was no doubt of meeting Miss Morton in a +few minutes, he would not hear of her being left alone--and Frank, much +against his inclination, was obliged to remain. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +"We had better go at once to the cottage, Frank," said Dora, when her +father was gone; "we shall be sure to find them there; and I dare say +they have been kept longer than they intended, talking to old Stephen." + +"And who is Stephen?" said Frank. + +"Oh! I am sure, I don't know," replied Dora; "only an old sort of +servant of grandpapa's, who always has the gout. He was steward, I +believe, once. I never trouble my head much about him; but Amy talks a +good deal of him." + +"And what makes you go and see him, then?" said Frank. + +"Nothing at all, but because I wanted something to do, and Amy and +Miss Morton were gone, and I could not bear staying at home with Miss +Cunningham." + +"How you sigh! Dora," said Frank; "and how grave you look. I don't think +you have laughed heartily once since I came home." + +"There is nothing to make one laugh that I can see," said Dora, "in this +gloomy old place, and the dull, cold weather." + +"We were never dull at Wayland," replied Frank; "and the weather was +much worse there last winter than it is now." + +"Well, I don't know what it is," said Dora; "but everybody is grown so +cross here, there is no bearing it; and it is not at all like Christmas +time." + +"Wait till Monday," answered Frank; "we shall be merry enough then; +the young Dornfords are coming here quite early, that we may have some +skating on the lake." + +"Young Dornfords, indeed!" exclaimed Dora; "what good will that be to +me? I shall not skate." + +"But you used to like watching us," said Frank, in a disappointed tone. + +"Times are changed," answered Dora, shortly; "I shall not like it now." + +Frank turned away from his sister, and walked some paces off, thinking +all the time how disagreeable she was, and how much pleasanter the walk +home with his papa would have been. His own disposition was so happy, +that he could neither understand nor endure one which was the reverse, +and Dora's age and character made him always feel rather in awe; so +that he could not tell her, what he saw was the fact, that the fault of +everything lay in herself, and her own discontent. Silently and sulkily +Dora walked on to the cottage; as they passed the window, she had a +full view of what was going on within--and as she looked, her feeling of +dissatisfaction increased. The room was small, but extremely neat, and +ornamented with a few prints and pictures, and some wooden shelves, on +which were ranged all Stephen's most valuable treasures--a large Bible, +in two volumes, which had descended to him from his grandfather, "the +Whole Duty of Man," given him by Mrs Herbert's mother, and several other +books of a similar kind--all presents from different members of the +family; some curious old cups and saucers, presents likewise, a wooden +knife, made from the horn of the first buck which he had seen killed, +the handle of the first whip he had used when he became coachman at +Emmerton, and, above all, the leading rein with which he had taught all +the young gentlemen and ladies to ride. There was a story attached +to each of these relics--and Amy, though she had heard them a hundred +times, still listened with pleasure as they were repeated again and +again; and when Dora looked, she saw her seated on a low stool by +Stephen's side, with her hand resting on his knee, while he was +explaining to Miss Morton how nearly Mr Harrington had met with a +serious accident when he first mounted his Shetland pony. There was +poverty in the cottage (or what at least seemed such to Dora), and +sickness, and pain, for Stephen had been very ill, and was even then +suffering considerably; and yet she could not look upon it without +something like a feeling of envy. Stephen was resigned to his illness, +and grateful for its alleviation. Amy had forgotten herself entirely, +and was watching with delight the interest Emily Morton took in hearing +her old friend talk; and Emily was thinking of the many blessings which +God has granted to soften the trials of life, and was learning a lesson +of cheerful resignation, which none but herself would have imagined she +required. Dora was young, and she had never been taught to think; but +there was something in the general appearance of the cottage, and in the +expression of the old man's countenance, which spoke more forcibly than +any words. She had youth, health, and riches; he had age, sickness, and +poverty--how was it that he could smile while she sighed, that he could +be grateful when she was discontented? She did not put the question into +words, but the feeling was so painful that she could not wait to think +about it, and hastily knocking at the door, hardly awaited for an answer +before she entered. Amy uttered an exclamation of surprise and pleasure, +and Stephen half rose from his seat to do honour to his unexpected +visitor. + +"I hardly thought ever to have seen you here, Miss Harrington," he said, +trying to be cordial, and yet not able entirely to conceal his sense +of the neglect which he had experienced. "'Tis so long since the master +came back to the Hall, and none of you young ladies have found your way +here before, that I began to think it wasn't the fashion now to go about +as it used to be." + +"Oh! I don't know," replied Dora, who would willingly have been +indifferent to the reproof which she felt was implied; "your cottage is +so far off, Stephen, and the days are getting so short." + +"So they are, so they are," answered Stephen; "'tis all very true, Miss +Harrington; but somehow in the old times people did not think about far +off and short days;--not that I mean to complain; for you know the +Bible tells us we are not to ask 'why the former days were better than +these.'" + +"Here is my brother come to see you, too," said Dora, turning to the +door to look for Frank, who had lingered on the outside. "You cannot +find fault with him, for he only arrived on Thursday." + +"Master Frank!" exclaimed the old man, while his clear, gray eyes were +lighted up with an unusual expression of pleasure; "but you don't mean +he is here, only coming?" + +"No, not coming," said Amy; "really here; I saw him just now." + +Stephen tried to move from his chair in his impatience to ascertain if +her words were true; but he was not able to walk without assistance, and +sank back again with a half-uttered expression of regret, which made him +the next instant murmur to himself, "'tis God's will; and 'tis fit we +should learn to bear it." + +"Here he is, really!" exclaimed Amy, as Dora re-entered the cottage, +followed by Frank. "I am sure, Stephen, you did not quite believe us." + +Stephen only answered by taking Frank's hand in his, while, for a +few moments, he fixed a deep, earnest gaze upon every feature of his +countenance. + +"Yes, it's like, very like," at length he said, in a low voice, as if +speaking to himself; "like his mother, like all her family; but I could +have loved it better if it had been different." + +"Oh Stephen!" exclaimed Amy, who had caught the words, notwithstanding +the tone in which they were spoken, "if you say so, Frank will think you +are not glad to see him." + +"No," replied Stephen, "there was never one of the name of Harrington +that could think that yet, Miss Amy. The young gentleman will learn soon +enough that it does my very heart good to look at him; but 'tis natural +for an old man to think most of them that are gone--and, somehow, 'twas +a foolish fancy, but I thought that maybe he might have his father's +face too; but he hasn't not half so much as the young lady there; and +she must be like Master Edward, for the people at the Hall tell me he +was the very image of the master." + +Dora had moved to the window on the first allusion to her brother, but, +struck with Stephen's manner, she now came forward, and said, "Do you +remember what any of us were like, Stephen, when we left Emmerton?" + +"Remember!" repeated the old man. "Who wouldn't remember those who +were as his own children? Ah! Miss Harrington, 'twas a sad day when the +master told me he was going; but 'twould have been still more sad if I +had known that there was one who was never to return." + +Dora tried to restrain the tears which glistened in her eyes; and again +she would have turned away, but Stephen prevented her. "And did you love +him then so much," he said, earnestly, forgetting, at the sight of her +distress, the neglect and indifference which he had so much felt. "Ah! +'twas right and natural, for he was the flower of all; and bitter it +must have been to lose him, for 'twas your first sorrow; but if God +should spare you to live as many years as I have done, Miss Harrington, +you will learn, when you lay your treasures in the cold earth, to thank +God for taking them out of a sinful world." + +"It is hard for Miss Harrington to think so now, Stephen," said Miss +Morton, fearing lest his words and manner might increase Dora's grief. +"At her age there is so much to hope for, that it is impossible to +expect it." + +"And I don't expect it," said Stephen; "I only tell her so now, that she +may think of my words when I am gone; and I know that they are true, for +I have felt it. I had four once, and I loved them all as my own life. +The master himself and the family were not nearer to me, nor so near +as they were; and when the first of them was carried to his grave, I +thought that my heart would have broke; but God gave me to think better +afterwards, for He sent me many a hard trial; and so, when my spirit was +turned in a manner from the earth, He called for all the rest, one after +another; and I watched them till the hour of their death, and heard that +their trust was in Him; and then I laid them to their rest, and blessed +Him for His mercy, for I knew that sickness and sorrow might knock at my +door, but they could never knock at theirs." + +There was a moment's pause after the old steward had spoken, for none +but Miss Morton entirely understood his meaning--even Amy, though she +had often heard him talk in the same way before, thought it strange; +and she stood looking in his face, and wondering whether it could be +possible for herself or her cousins ever to feel like him. Stephen +smiled as he watched the expression of her countenance. "You don't half +believe me, Miss Amy," he said, "any more than I believed you when you +said the young gentleman was come to see me; and, perhaps, 'tis as well +you don't; only 'tis fit for us all to think betimes that we are not to +stay here for ever, and to expect to find things hard as we grow old; +for so we learn to look above, and then it may be God may see good to +spare us a long trial, and call us early to Himself." + +"To die!" exclaimed Amy, in a half-frightened tone. + +"It sounds hard," said Stephen; "and yet God only knows how great a +blessing it may be. But you need not look so sad, Miss Amy, the time may +be very far off; and, when it comes, you may have learned to think like +me; and there may be many a happy day in store for you all, only it may +be near too,--aye, near even to that little one there, who looks as if +she had never known what sickness was." + +Amy looked at Rose; and certainly it did seem more difficult than ever +to believe the truth of Stephen's words. She had left the rest of the +party, not caring for what was passing, and was standing by the door, +amusing herself with the antics of a young kitten, as it tried to catch +the piece of cork which she held just out of its reach. Her bonnet had +fallen back, and her bright, chestnut hair hung in clustering ringlets +about her neck; the glow of health and happiness was on her cheek, and +her dark eyes sparkled with delight, and her little hands were clapped +in ecstasy at every fresh movement of the kitten; and, as Stephen spoke, +she burst into a merry laugh, when the tiny animal, showing unusual +agility, seized upon the cork, and, to her great surprise, carried it +off in triumph. + +"You will make us all melancholy, Stephen," said Miss Morton, as she +watched the thoughtful expression of Dora's face. "My little pet has +never known an hour's real illness from the day of her birth, so we will +not begin fearing for her now." + +"No, not fear," replied Stephen; "only," he added, in a lower tone, +"'tis an angel's face; and at times I have thought that it was fitter +for heaven than for earth. But I didn't mean," he continued, aloud, "to +talk about such grave things just the first day of the young gentleman's +visit. It isn't my way, Master Frank, in general, and so you shall know +if you will come and see me again; and please God I get strong upon my +legs, I shall hope to show you a good many things I've got together +down here. There's the goats, that are as tame as children, and the +old hunter that's been turned out to grass for these half-dozen +years,--there isn't such another beauty in all the country round; and +then there are the ponies that I had brought from the hills to train for +the young ladies,--maybe you'd like to see them now; my grand-daughter +will show you where they are." + +Frank, who had felt strange and uncomfortable during the last quarter +of an hour, gladly seized upon the idea, and the whole party immediately +proceeded to inspect the ponies, followed by Stephen's lamentations that +he could not exhibit them himself. Frank was just beginning to fancy +he understood the merits and demerits of horses, and therefore examined +them with a critical eye, and with every wish to show his knowledge by +finding fault; but there was very little to be said against them--in +colour and shape, they were almost perfect of their kind; and Frank's +admiration, and Dora's earnest entreaties that they might be sent +immediately to the Hall to be tried, soon recompensed Stephen for the +disappointment he had at first felt respecting them. "To be sure, they +are very well," was his reply to Amy's question, if he did not think +them more beautiful than any he had ever seen before; "but they don't +come up to the old ones, Miss Amy. There was the chestnut, that your +own mamma used to ride when she was no bigger than you; that was worth +looking at; not but what these are very well,--very well, indeed, for +those who never saw any better." + +"Ah! Stephen, that is so tiresome of you," exclaimed Amy, half laughing +and half vexed; "you always will bring up something or other to make +one discontented; you never can think that anything now is as good as it +used to be." + +"Well, so it is," said Stephen; "and when you come to my age, Miss +Amy, you'll feel the same; not but what there is one thing which I like +better now than all, and that's your own dear little merry face; 'tis +always a comfort to look at it; and in the old times I didn't want +comfort as I do now." + +"And Dora, and Frank, and Margaret, will all come and see you now," +said Amy, "and Miss Morton and Rose too. You will have so many visitors, +Stephen, I am afraid you will get tired of them." + +"They'll be welcome--all welcome, at all hours," answered Stephen, "any +of the family; and if, please God, the Colonel should come back, as they +say he will, why I think I shall begin my life over again,--'twill all +seem so old and natural." + +Amy's eyes brightened at the idea. "I want some one to tell me how long +it will be before he can be here," she said, "that I may count the days; +but they all say it is uncertain, and I must not think about it; but I +do think about it all day long, and so does mamma, though she does not +say much." + +"'Twill be a blessed day," said Stephen, "when it does come; and if it +please God, I pray that I may live to see it. Sometimes I have thought +I could die more happy if I could see young madam smile as she used to +do." + +"Well, Stephen," interrupted Frank, who was becoming impatient, "you +will send the ponies up the first thing to-morrow, won't you? No, not +to-morrow though; to-morrow is Sunday; let them come up to-night." + +"Why, Frank," said Dora, "what good can that do? Monday morning will be +quite early enough; you cannot possibly try them before." + +"But 'tis his wish. Miss Harrington," said Stephen, "and 'tis the first +thing he has asked of me; so, if there's no offence to you, 'twould be +a pleasure to me to have them up at the Hall to-night, and one of the +grooms can quite easily come to fetch them." + +Frank's smile spoke his thanks; and Dora, pleased at anything which +made his holidays happier than she had feared they would be, took a most +cordial leave of Stephen, and left his cottage in a much better mood +than she had entered it. + +"I think," she said to Amy, as they walked home, "that there must be +something very pleasant in going to visit poor people when they are +comfortably off, like Stephen; they must be so glad to see one, and +there is nothing to make one melancholy; but I can't say I should like +getting into those dirty holes which some people have such a fancy for." + +"Oh Dora!" exclaimed Amy, "I can't think any one really likes dirty +holes, as you call them; but, you know, if no one were to look after +them, there would be nothing done for the people who live in them." + +"But why do they live there?" said Dora; "why don't they have neat +cottages like Stephen's, and look cheerful and be grateful for what is +given them? I have heard people say that it is all their own fault being +so miserably off, and that there is no good in doing anything for them." + +"Only," replied Amy, "a good many people have no work, and then of +course they have nothing to live on." + +"How do you know?" asked Dora; "do you ever go and see any of them but +Stephen?" + +"Oh dear, yes!" replied Amy, in a tone of surprise; "all the people in +the village I know quite well; mamma always takes me with her to their +cottages." + +"And does aunt Herbert like going?" said Dora. + +"Yes, very much, except when she is tired and ill; but she goes just the +same; and they are so fond of her." + +Dora looked thoughtful, and said that it must be a great deal of +trouble. + +"Sometimes it is," said Amy; "but mamma always seems better when she +comes back." + +"There is not anything done for rich people when they are unhappy," said +Dora; "no one thinks of trying to give them pleasure." + +"Do you think that is quite the case?" asked Miss Morton. "I should have +said that there was care and kindness shown to every one every day of +their lives." + +"Not to me," said Dora, "excepting, of course, from papa and mamma." + +"I fear," said Miss Morton, "we should be very badly off if our parents' +care were all that we had to depend on." + +"I know what you mean." replied Dora, thinking for a moment; "but then +the blessings which God sends are so different from the trouble which +people say rich persons ought to take about the poor. Of course, He can +do everything." + +"Yes," said Miss Morton; "and when we think of His infinite power, we +can hardly imagine that His actions can be any example for us; but there +was a time when He condescended to live upon the earth; and we do not +find then that He shrunk from taking trouble, as we call it, to do +good." + +Dora was silent and uncomfortable; she was beginning to get a faint +notion of the extent of her duties, and of the care and thought which +she ought to bestow upon her fellow-creatures as well as herself; and +she turned from the idea in something like despair, fearing that it +would be quite useless to attempt fulfilling them. + +Amy watched her, and saw that something was amiss; and leaving Miss +Morton, she went to the other side, and put her hand within her cousin's +without speaking. + +The action was understood; and again Dora felt self-reproach, as she +noticed the gentle consideration of one so young, and thought of her +own pride and selfishness. "I should like to go with you some day," she +said, "when aunt Herbert takes you amongst the cottagers, just to know +what you say to them, and how you behave." + +"I never say anything," replied Amy, "except, perhaps, just to ask them +if they are better; but I like hearing mamma talk to them." + +"But there can be nothing said that you can care about," observed Dora. + +"Yes, indeed, there is, generally," answered Amy. "I like to hear about +all their children, and I like to hear them tell mamma about their being +ill and poor. I don't mean that I wish them to be ill and poor, but it +is very nice to see how mamma comforts them, and it gives me pleasure to +hear her talk to Mr Walton about them; and when I go home, the cottage +always seems so much larger and more comfortable than it did before. I +never wish then that we had a larger house and more servants." + +"And do you ever wish so now?" asked Dora. + +Amy blushed, but answered without hesitation: "I am afraid I do wish it +very often; but I know it is so wrong that it makes me very unhappy." + +"Wrong!" exclaimed Dora; "how can it be wrong? Every one in the world +wishes for something or another; not that you would be one bit better +off, Amy, if you were to live at Emmerton to-morrow; at least, I think +you are much happier than I am." + +"Mamma says the same," replied Amy, "and of course she knows best; +only it does not seem so--but I know it is wicked in me to indulge such +feelings." + +"That is so silly," said Dora; "how can it be wicked when everybody has +them? Don't you think now, Emily, that every one wishes for something +better than what they possess?" + +"Yes," replied Miss Morton, "but some persons wish for things that are +right and good, and others for those which are wrong, and this makes all +the difference." + +"There can be no harm in houses and servants," said Dora. + +"Only," said Miss Morton, "that they are apt to make us think proudly +of ourselves, and despise those who are without them; and that at our +baptism we promised to renounce the pomps and vanities of the world." + +"Then what would you have people think of and long for?" asked Dora. + +Amy looked at her cousin with a slight feeling of surprise at the +question; but Miss Morton did not appear to consider it strange, for she +answered immediately: "I think if persons were quite good as they ought +to be, all their wishes would be for the blessings which are promised us +in the Bible, and that they would care no more for earthly grandeur than +a person who is passing through a foreign country does for what he may +see there, when he has much better things at home." + +"What," exclaimed Dora, "not think about having comfortable houses, and +pretty places, and plenty of money! we might just as well all be poor at +once." + +"Perhaps," said Miss Morton, "you may remember a verse in the New +Testament, which says that the poor are blessed. It is very hard to +believe, but if the Bible tells us so, it must be true." + +"That is just what mamma would say," observed Amy; "but I don't think +I quite like to hear grown-up people talk so, because I am sure it is +right to think it; and yet it seems quite impossible, and as if it would +make one always melancholy; only you are not melancholy," she added, +looking at Miss Morton. + +"It would not be possible for any one at your age to feel like a +grown-up person who has had a great many trials," replied Emily; "but +it is quite right for you to try at once to overcome your longing for +grandeur and riches, because it is one of the lessons which we are sent +into the world to learn, and one of the best ways of learning it, is +by doing what Miss Harrington mentioned just now,--going amongst poor +people, I mean." + +"I don't see what that has to do with it," said Dora. + +"If the poor people we visit are happy," replied Emily, "we shall see +that God has given them pleasures quite independent of those we value so +much, and we shall learn to think them of less importance; and if they +are unhappy, we shall thank God for having placed us in a different +situation; and whatever may be our trials, we shall bear them with far +greater patience, when we see what the poor are forced to endure. A +visit to a sick person, in want, will often do more to make us contented +and grateful than all the sermons that ever were preached." + +"Do you really think so?" said Dorn, gravely; "I wonder whether it would +make me happier." + +"Will you try?" asked Miss Morton, eagerly. "Will you, if Mrs Harrington +has no objection, go with me some day, and see the poor people? Mr +Walton has often said he wished you would." + +"Oh Dora! do go," exclaimed Amy; "I should be so delighted if you knew +them all, as mamma and I do." + +"I don't know," answered Dora; "mamma will object, I am sure." + +"But just try," persisted Amy; "never mind if she does say No; there is +no harm in asking." + +"Ah! but mamma's 'No' is different from aunt Herbert's," replied Dora; +"it always means she is angry." + +Amy felt this was true, and could not urge her cousin to do what she +knew would be so alarming to herself; and Miss Morton's experience of +Dora's disposition was sufficient to render her aware, that to urge +anything was the most certain method of making her determine upon not +doing it. She, therefore, was silent, and the conversation dropped, for +they had now nearly reached the Hall; but it did not pass from Dora's +mind. It had given her a new idea of duty, and a hope of increased +pleasure and interest, in a way which was not only innocent but good; +and before she again met Miss Morton she had determined upon making the +request to her mamma, that she might be allowed to go into the village, +even at the risk of encountering her awful frown, and very decided "No." + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + +The visit to Stephen's cottage had so engrossed Amy's mind, that she had +for the time entirely forgotten Miss Cunningham and the dance, and even +the dread of Mr Cunningham's conversation; but when the evening came, +and they were to appear in the drawing-room, she felt a considerable +degree of trepidation, and dressed herself much more reluctantly than +usual, lingering in her room, in her anxiety to delay the awful moment, +till she found that her cousins had left her to go down stairs alone. +Mrs Herbert was tired, and proposed remaining by herself all the +evening; and there was, therefore, no alternative for Amy, but to summon +all her courage, and earnestly hope that no one would take any notice +of her. This hope, however, was vain, for Mr Cunningham perceived +her instantly, and seemed as much determined as before to enter into +conversation. Perhaps he might have had more compassion, had he known +what was passing in Amy's mind, and how anxiously she longed to be +seated by Dora, at the other end of the room; but he was so accustomed +to be understood by his own family, that he was not aware of the pain +he inflicted upon strangers, especially upon a shy, timid child, and +his only wish was to take notice of one whom he fancied others, and +especially his sister, were inclined to neglect. Amy stood by his side, +blushing and trembling, and trying to understand, and feeling really +grateful for his kindness in troubling himself about her, but, at +the same time, strongly inclined to laugh, as she watched his strange +grimaces. Once, however, she caught Margaret's eye, and saw her slily +attempting to imitate him, and in an instant she recovered herself, and +making a greater effort to comprehend what he was saying, soon found it +comparatively easy. After a few observations on indifferent subjects, +Mr Cunningham made some inquiries about Colonel Herbert; and Amy's heart +was quite won when he told her that he recollected him before he went +to India, and that every one loved and esteemed him, and that he looked +forward now with much pleasure to his return; and she then ventured to +ask the question to which she had not been able hitherto to obtain +an answer--how long it would be before her papa could arrive. Mr +Cunningham, with great good-nature, began calculating probabilities; and +Amy was more than recompensed for her previous attention, when he said +that, now the insurrection was over, there was no doubt Colonel Herbert +would be able to leave India immediately, and that, probably, he would +be with them almost as soon as a letter could reach them to announce his +return; he might even be in England before they heard from him; and as +he spoke, Amy turned to the door on the entrance of a servant, with +a vague fancy that even then her father might be near. Her cousins +observed, with surprise, the notice that was taken of her; Dora felt +pleasure, and Margaret envy; for she recollected her conversation in the +morning, and already began to imagine that Amy would be put before her +in everything; but Miss Cunningham would have disliked it more than +any one, if she had not been occupied in watching for an opportunity to +speak to her papa upon the subject of the dance. Margaret had suggested +that it would be an inconvenient moment; but Miss Cunningham never +allowed time or propriety to interfere with her wishes, and eagerly +seizing Lord Rochford's arm as he finished his conversation with Mr +Harrington, she drew him aside, and in an audible whisper commenced her +entreaties. Lord Rochford listened, and smiled, and patted her shoulder, +and called her his pet and his darling, but at first did not seem +quite inclined to agree with her, and all that she could obtain was the +promise that he would think about it. This, however, did not satisfy her +impatience, and she declared she would not let him go till he had really +promised to mention it. Lord Rochford saw the impropriety of the idea, +and the objections which Mr and Mrs Harrington might very naturally +make to it; but his daughter's will was all-powerful with him, and he +hesitated, and half consented, and then looked at Mrs Harrington, and +retracted, till Miss Cunningham, seeing her advantage, became so +very urgent that the attention of every one was directed to her. Mrs +Harrington could not help perceiving that the subject under discussion +was one in which she was interested, yet she sat immovable, with her +eyes fixed upon her work, thinking it contrary to all the rules of +propriety to interfere; but Mr Harrington was not so particular. + +"You have a most indefatigable petitioner there," he said, as he caught +Lord Rochford's eye. "I wonder you have not yielded long ago, from mere +weariness." + +"Clever girl, clever girl," said Lord Rochford; "knows her own power; +but it is not my affair, or she would have had her own way before this, +I am afraid." + +"Miss Cunningham looks as if it were something in which I am concerned," +said Mr Harrington. "I should be most happy to give her pleasure." + +"Yes, now, did I not say so, papa?" exclaimed Miss Cunningham. "I knew +Mr Harrington could have no objection. It is only that we all want a +dance this Christmas, like every one else. There is the hall, which will +do so beautifully for it, and every one will enjoy it so much; and I +brought a dress here on purpose." + +Dora's countenance betrayed her vexation, when she found herself +included in the general "we," and she turned with anxiety to her +mother's, when the proposition was made. Mrs Harrington still kept her +eyes on her embroidery, and appeared not to remark what was passing; +but Dora saw that she bit her lip, and contracted her brow, and she +well knew that a storm was at hand. Mr Harrington only looked grave and +pained. + +"I do not think," he said, "this is quite the time for such an +entertainment; and I should have hoped that Dora and Margaret's feelings +would have prevented their wishing it. It is a different thing having +a few friends in the house, to whom we are desirous of showing a little +attention, and giving such a party as you mention. Even if we felt the +inclination, which we are very far from doing, common propriety would be +against it." + +This was rather too long a speech for Miss Cunningham to listen to +attentively; but she discovered that it meant "_no;_" and, unmindful of +the annoyance expressed in Lord Rochford's face, and his muttered "Yes, +yes, to be sure, I told her so--girls are so obstinate," she hardly +waited till it was ended, before she was at Mrs Harrington's side, +asking her most earnestly to consent. + +Mrs Harrington slowly raised her eyes from her work, and, in a voice +which sounded in Dora's ears like the murmuring roll of distant thunder, +begged to be informed what it was she wished her to do. + +"To have a dance," exclaimed Miss Cunningham, even then feeling but +little doubt of her success: "a delightful dance in the hall; just such +a one as Sir Francis Egerton gave at Tweeddale Park last year." + +"And may I ask," inquired Mrs Harrington, calmly, "who Sir Francis +Egerton is, and why his actions are to be an example to me?" + +"Oh, he is a cousin of ours," replied Miss Cunningham. "Mary Egerton is +just my age; and she opened the ball." + +"Indeed! then, in my opinion, she would have been much better employed +with her studies in the schoolroom." + +"You cannot really be in earnest," persisted Miss Cunningham; "it was +the most charming thing in the world; and every one was so happy." + +"Very probably," replied Mrs Harrington, again returning to her work. + +"That is so kind of you," said Miss Cunningham; "then you will have no +objection. When shall it be?" + +"Never, with my consent," answered Mrs Harrington, rising in extreme +indignation at what she considered impertinence and want of feeling. +"My daughters have been strangely forgetful to allow such a thing to be +mentioned. Dora, at your age, I should have thought you would have known +better." + +Dora instantly commenced an excuse, but stopped short in the middle, +feeling the awkwardness of laying all the blame upon her sister, and her +visitor; and Mrs Harrington, who had at first listened with the quiet +determined air of a person resolved beforehand to accept no apology, +turned from her, and began assuring Lord Rochford that she was +quite aware that Miss Cunningham had nothing really to do with the +business--she merely acted as spokeswoman for the rest. Of course, no +young lady of her age would venture to make suggestions of the kind +without being supported by others; adding, "I blame my own children, not +her." + +This was more than Amy could endure. She had been standing by Mr +Cunningham's side during the discussion, with all the unpleasant +sensations of being herself guilty; and her colour went and came, in +the dread every moment that her aunt would include her in the reprimand. +Margaret had quitted the room upon the first symptom of a storm; and +there was no one but herself to vindicate Dora. It was a great effort, +but she felt that it must be made; and, walking up to Mrs Harrington, +she said, in a low frightened voice, "Indeed, aunt, I heard Dora, at +dinner-time, telling them you would not like it." + +"That is right," said Mr Harrington; "never let anyone be accused +unjustly. I was sure Dora could not wish it. As for Margaret, she is so +young and thoughtless, that it is not to be wondered at." + +"It is all very well," said Mrs Harrington, who was far too angry to +allow of any justification; "but Dora should have prevented its being +named. She is the eldest; and Amy, too, though so much younger, is quite +old enough to know better." + +Poor Amy, for the moment, heartily repented having spoken, and returned +to her former position with the thought that she had only made matters +worse by interfering; but she remembered afterwards that she meant to do +rightly, and that it was better to be blamed wrongly than really to be +in fault. Miss Cunningham, in the meanwhile, satisfied with finding +that she had escaped censure, cared little what any one else might be +feeling, and carelessly taking up a book of prints which lay upon the +table, began turning over the leaves with an indifferent air, much to +the increase of Mrs Harrington's anger, which was in reality as much +directed against her as against her own daughters, though politeness had +induced her to conceal it. + +The pause that ensued was felt by every one to be extremely awkward. Mr +Cunningham wished to make some excuse for his sister; but his nervous +anxiety rendered his articulation more difficult than usual, and after +several efforts he coloured deeply, and gave up the attempt. + +Lord Rochford fidgeted, first on one foot and then on the other, and at +last walked across the room to get out of the reach of Mrs Harrington, +who still stood looking as if she considered some one ought to make +apologies; and seeing that something was expected from him, returned +again to say that it was a thoughtless thing, perhaps, of the young +people, but it would not do to be too hard upon them; they meant no +harm. + +"The excuse for everything," was all Mrs Harrington's reply; and Lord +Rochford moved away with thoughts which it would have been uncivil to +utter. + +"Come," exclaimed Mr Harrington, feeling rather ashamed that so much had +been said; "I quite agree with Lord Rochford, that no harm was intended. +You know, Charlotte, they could not be expected to feel as you and I do; +and besides, after all, we had thought of giving them something like +an evening's amusement, though not quite what Miss Cunningham proposed. +There is a celebrated conjurer just arrived in the neighbourhood, and +we had settled that he should come here on Wednesday to exhibit, if the +young people fancied it; and then afterwards, if they choose to get up +a quadrille just among themselves, I daresay Miss Morton will play to +them." + +Amy felt very much relieved at the turn which this was likely to give to +the conversation, though she little cared what amusement was proposed, +if she could only see her aunt resume her seat and her work; but Mrs +Harrington appeared to be struck by the idea of a fresh person with whom +to find fault, for she repeated quickly to herself "Emily Morton! yes, +she ought to have prevented it," and immediately left the room. +Her absence at once caused a sensation of freedom and relief. Miss +Cunningham, though inclined to imagine that conjuring tricks were rather +vulgar, still felt sufficient curiosity to make some inquiries about +them; and Amy, to whom all things of the kind were entirely new, began +expressing her pleasure to Dora, and when Mrs Harrington returned, +followed by Miss Morton, the storm had apparently passed away. Miss +Morton's countenance was as gentle and calm as usual; but there was a +slight nervous agitation in her manner, which Amy had learned to notice +as the consequence of one of Mrs Harrington's lectures; and, when at +Lord Rochford's request, she sat down to the piano, to perform her +thankless task of playing and singing for the general amusement, her +voice trembled so much as to oblige her to give up the song which had +been asked for, and only attempt an instrumental piece. + +Amy stole quietly to her side, and, with a look and voice which were +fully understood, asked if she might be allowed to stand by her and +turn over the leaves. There was a tear in Miss Morton's eye, though she +smiled and thanked her, but Amy's attention gave her at that moment all +that she required--the consciousness that some one was near who could +feel for her; and in a short time she had recovered her self-command. + +"Who was it I heard playing the airs in the last new opera, this +morning?" said Mr Harrington, when Miss Morton had finished her piece. +"Whoever it was seemed to me to be getting on extremely well." + +Amy was going to answer, but Miss Cunningham prevented her. "I was +trying them over after dinner," she said; "but I had never seen them +before, and therefore, of course, I made one or two false notes." + +"Oh!" exclaimed Dora, "there must be some mistake; for if you remember, +you were at the piano just before I went out for my walk, and I heard +you say you found them so difficult, you wondered any one could take +the trouble to learn them. It must have been Amy--she has been regularly +practising them." + +"I don't know, indeed," replied Miss Cunningham, angrily; "I never heard +her." + +"I dare say Dora may be wrong," said Mr Harrington; "suppose you were to +favour us now." + +Miss Cunningham hesitated a little; but her self-confidence induced her +to make the attempt, though it did not prevent her from blundering +so sadly, that Mr Cunningham, in despair at the discordant sounds, at +length walked to the piano, closed the book, and said in a low, stern +voice, "Pray, Lucy, spare us any more; you must have known you could not +play it in the least." There was no reply; for Miss Cunningham feared +and respected her brother more than any one in the world, and saw that +he was very much annoyed. Mr Harrington began to make excuses for her, +and was unwilling that Amy should play instead; but he was forced to +yield to Mr Cunningham's wish, and she was sent to the instrument; and, +notwithstanding her alarm, satisfied every one that her talent for music +was of a very superior kind. Even Lord Rochford, though vexed at his +daughter's failure, could not help exclaiming, "Very good, very good, +indeed--very correct time--who taught her, Harrington?" + +"Her mamma was her only instructress for several years," replied Mr +Harrington; "but latterly Miss Morton has taken her in hand, and I must +say she does her infinite credit." + +"Yes, certainly," said Lord Rochford, "very great credit indeed. What +should you say, Lucy, to persuading Mrs Harrington to let you benefit +a little by Miss Morton now, as a preparation for London? She would +improve you, I dare say, even in these few days, and then when we were +in London she might give you some hints as she saw you wanted them." + +"Really," said Mrs Harrington, who thought this a very strange mode of +appropriating the time and talents which were intended for the benefit +of her own children, "it is quite useless to form any plans for London; +I have every reason to be satisfied with the progress my children are +making in the country, and shall not think of London masters at present; +I have expressed my determination to your lordship in a very decided way +from the first." + +"True, quite true," replied Lord Rochford, feeling that the refusal had +been very decided; "only people change; but we won't talk of London, +you don't wish it, I see; but I should like this young lady to hear Lucy +play over a piece or two while we are here." + +Miss Cunningham's countenance expressed anything but amiability; and +she gave her father a look which had often been found efficacious in +preventing disagreeable plans, but his head was turned away, and she +looked in vain; and the next moment he was at Miss Morton's side, +praising her music, and begging, as a great favour, that she would take +a little pains with Lucy, and hear her play occasionally; in fact, as Mr +Harrington had said, take her in hand for a few days. + +Dora could scarcely forbear smiling, as she observed the expression of +Miss Cunningham's face--it told of pride, mortification, and anger; +and Amy noticed it also, but she was not amused; she was sorry for +both parties; for whatever might be Lucy Cunningham's disinclination to +become Miss Morton's pupil, it certainly could not exceed Emily Morton's +unwillingness to become her instructress. Lord Rochford shared his +daughter's dulness of perception; and to complete the unpleasantness of +the proposition, he spoke to Amy, hoping that she and Miss Cunningham +would learn a few duets together. Poor Amy blushed, and tried, though +with difficulty, to express acquiescence; and Mrs Harrington, observing +her hesitation, reproved her for her rudeness, and assured Lord Rochford +that Dora and Margaret would practise with Miss Cunningham whenever she +wished it. It would be a more convenient arrangement, as Amy was only an +occasional visitor; and though she had played tolerably well once, she +had not received by any means the same advantages as her cousins. Amy +could almost have cried with annoyance, but painful as it was to be +so undervalued and misunderstood on every occasion, it was, in this +instance, a very useful lesson to her, for it prevented the indulgence +of vanity at being brought forward in so unusual a manner; and when +she saw how Emily Morton was slighted, and remembered her meek, +uncomplaining temper, she could only feel vexed with herself for caring +so much about it, and long to possess a spirit as humble as hers. The +events of the evening, though trifling in themselves, were not so in +their consequence. Miss Cunningham went to bed angry with her father, +angry with herself, and, above all, angry with Emily Morton and Amy. Of +the affair of the dance, she thought but little, for she was not aware +that any blame had been attached to her; but she had been foolish +in attempting to play, and her father still more so, she decided, in +teasing her with lessons, and making a fuss about Miss Morton, instead +of depreciating her, and so increasing the difficulties in the way +of the London expedition. Amy had been made her rival, and had gained +approbation which might have been hers, and, above all, had been noticed +by Mr Cunningham, whose last words, as he wished his sister good-night, +were, that it would make him entirely contented to see her as +sweet-tempered, humble, and unaffected as Amy Herbert. With these +feelings the idea of their both going with the rest of the family to +London, in case Lord Rochford gained his point, was most provoking; +and very earnestly did Miss Cunningham hope that something might occur +within the next two months to remove Emily Morton from Emmerton. In her +absence, Amy was too much of a child to be cared for, but together they +would form a very considerable drawback to the pleasure she expected; +and she thought it would be preferable to give up the journey at once, +than to be continually troubled with Miss Morton as an instructress, and +Amy Herbert as an example. Amy went to her mother as usual, not quite +satisfied with herself. The first elation had subsided, and she was +aware of the evil feeling that had arisen in her mind, and at once +acknowledged it to Mrs Herbert; and then, referring to the dance, +she wondered that Miss Cunningham could have been so blind to the +impropriety of the suggestion. + +"I should have thought, mamma," she said, "that Dora's face would have +shown her she was wrong." + +"It does not surprise me," replied Mrs Herbert, "because the same thing +happens continually with every one. Whatever we wish for we easily +persuade ourselves is allowable." + +"But there cannot really be any harm in wishing, can there?" said Amy. + +"Only so far harm as it is the seed of all evil," answered her mother. +"If our wishes were good, our actions would be good also." + +"But there are a great many wishes which are neither good nor bad, +mamma--wishes, I mean, that are of no consequence." + +"I think that is a mistake, my dear; we are so ignorant that we never +can tell whether even a passing thought may not be of consequence; +and, with regard to our wishes, the moment we see that we shall not be +permitted to indulge them, we must try and get rid of them." + +"I do not quite see why it is necessary," said Amy. + +"Because," replied her mother, "our will ceases then to be the same as +the will of God. There is a very fearful lesson given us in the Bible on +this subject in the history of Balaam. He wished to go with the prince +of Moab in the expectation of receiving a great reward, and God forbade +him. His duty then was to conquer his inclination; but, instead of this, +he only obeyed outwardly and still continued to wish, and at last he was +permitted to follow his own way; but we are told that the anger of God +was kindled against him." + +"I see that he was wrong," said Amy, "but must we not wish for little +things?" + +"If we were quite good, we should never do so, my love; we should see +plainly that even the smallest events of our lives are ordered for our +good; and it is better to begin with controlling our wishes in trifles, +and then we shall not be led astray by them in great things. Of course +there is no harm in wishing for innocent things, as long as it is +permitted us to enjoy them; but when they are put beyond our reach our +wishes must cease." + +Amy was too tired to converse more; but, although she felt that the idea +was a difficult one to realise, she did not the less resolve on putting +it in practice. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + +"I wish Frank would not make such a fuss about those stupid boys who are +coming to-day," said Dora, as he left the room when breakfast was ended, +expressing his great delight that Monday morning was at length arrived, +and begging them all to make a point of coming down to the lake in the +afternoon to see the skating; "it is bad enough to have a number of +strange girls here, but really to be worried with rude boys is more than +any one can bear." + +"Perhaps they are not rude," said Amy. + +"Yes, but they are," replied Dora. "I am sure they must be rude and +awkward; I cannot bear them." + +"But Frank, you can bear him." + +"Oh, that is quite a different thing--not but what he is a torment +sometimes; but I do not want to talk about them now. Margaret, please, +don't go away; just help me to settle how we are to amuse ourselves when +the people come. I have had such a lecture from mamma this morning about +making ourselves agreeable." + +"Dear me, I don't know," said Margaret; "let them take care of +themselves; I daresay they will find something to do." + +"There is the conjurer for Wednesday," observed Dora, thoughtfully; "but +there are two days to that, and what shall we do with them till then?" + +"Really," said Miss Cunningham, "I should think there would be quite +sufficient amusement in being here and seeing the house; for you told me +the other day they none of them lived in such a large place." + +"Yes," said Margaret, "to be sure they can go over the house, and round +the grounds." + +"Round the grounds!" exclaimed Dora; "why it is going to snow hard." + +"Well," replied Margaret, "I should never trouble myself about it +beforehand; when they come they will amuse themselves, and if they do +not like it they need not come again." + +"That is not my way," continued Dora; "it would not be very agreeable to +be told they had had a stupid visit at the house of the first gentleman +in the county. We must have more ways of entertaining them than they can +have at home." + +"I can't think, though, what they are," said Amy; "but I daresay you +will recollect something when the time comes; and you know, Dora, though +I could not talk to any one of them as you can, I could play with the +little ones." + +"Ah! but I do not mind the little ones," said Dora; "they will be very +happy with a doll, and Emily Morton will take care of them; but there +are two or three great ones, the Miss Stanleys and Miss Warner, who have +always been at school; I have not seen them, and I know they are coming +early; people always do come early when one does not want them;" +and Dora looked at Miss Cunningham, and thought of the last Saturday +morning. + +"We might talk for ever," said Margaret, "and it would be no good, and +really I have no time to think about it now. Do, Lucy, come to my room, +and look at that dress which you said could be altered like yours. +Morris will have no time if it is not given her this morning, and I must +go and talk to mamma before it is begun." + +"That is just like you, Margaret," said Dora, "you never will help me; +but mamma says you must try this afternoon, so it will be no use for you +and Lucy to shut yourselves up in your room; you must come down, or she +will be very angry." + +Amy saw that Dora was gradually becoming extremely annoyed, and +earnestly longed to soothe her, but she was rather afraid to interfere; +she did, however, venture to say, that perhaps some of them might be +fond of reading, and then there would be less trouble. + +"Oh yes!" exclaimed Margaret, who did not quite like to go and yet was +very unwilling to stay, "that will just do, Amy; they shall read, and +then they will all be quite comfortable, and we may go our own way; I am +so glad that matter is settled, I do so hate trouble and fuss." + +"So we do all," said Dora, angrily, as Margaret hastily ran out of the +room; "only some people are forced to take it. That plan of yours will +not do at all, Amy, and I cannot think how you could be so silly as to +propose it. School-girls never like reading, and if they do, they +can have enough of it at home. What they ought to have here should be +something to mark the place, something they should remember, something, +in short, quite different from what they could find anywhere else." + +Amy did her best to think, but it was all to no purpose; and Dora at +last could only sigh and moan, and walk to the window and watch the +weather, and wish that the snow would come down and keep them all at +home. + +"And snow Miss Cunningham in," said Amy, laughing. + +"To be sure," answered Dora, "that would be rather odious. What a goose +she made of herself last night, Amy, and how delighted I was when you +had all the praise." + +"So was I too," said Amy; "but I don't think I was right. I am sure, +indeed, I was not; for I spoke to mamma about it afterwards, and she +told me it was vanity." + +"As for that," said Dora, "every one is vain." + +"But then," said Amy, "we promised at our baptism that we would not be +so; and mamma says that persons who are vain soon become envious, and +that envy leads to very great crimes, and that if we indulge in vanity, +we can never tell how wicked we shall become by and by." + +"I cannot understand why you are always talking of baptism, Amy," said +Dora; "it seems as if it had something to do with everything, according +to your notions." + +"According to mamma's notions, you mean; she reminds me of it so often +that I cannot possibly forget it." + +"But there is no one in the world who has kept the promise," said Dora; +"and then they say we have such a wicked nature; what is the use of +thinking about being good when we have no power to be so?" + +"I do not think I understand it quite," replied Amy, "and I am sure, +Dora, I cannot teach you, but I could tell you what mamma tells me." + +"And what is that?" asked Dora. + +"Mamma says," answered Amy, "that when we are born we all have very +wicked natures; but that, when we are baptized, God gives us a new +nature which is good; and that, when we grow up, we can do right if we +really wish to do it, because we have the Holy Spirit always to help +us; and once, when I made an excuse for something I had done wrong, by +saying that it was natural, and I could not help it, she told me that +it might have been an excuse if I had not been baptized, but that now it +was no excuse at all." + +"Then what are we to do?" said Dora; "no person really keeps their +promise. How wicked we must all be!" + +"Mamma says we are," replied Amy; "and that we ought to be so very +careful about our smallest actions, and our words and thoughts, because +it is so dangerous to do wrong now." + +"But," said Dora, "I cannot see why people should be baptized, if it +only makes them worse off than they were before." + +"Oh! but indeed, Dora," exclaimed Amy, looking rather shocked, "it makes +us better off than we were before,--a great deal better off; for you +know the service about baptism says that we are made God's children, +really His children; and that, when we die, we shall go to heaven, if +we try and do right now, and beg Him to forgive us when we do wrong, for +our Saviour's sake." + +"I do not understand it," said Dora; "and I never heard any one talk +about it till I came to Emmerton." + +"I did not understand it half as well," replied Amy, "till mamma told me +a story about uncle Harrington's birthday, and said that, when we were +baptized, we were made heirs of heaven, just as he was heir to this +place and all the property; and even now it puzzles me very much, and +very often I cannot believe that it is all true; but I try to do so, +because mamma says it is, and shows me where it is written in the +Bible." + +"But how can we tell that we have a good nature given us at our +baptism?" said Dora; "I never feel it; I don't think I do anything that +is right all day long; you may have a good nature, Amy, and I think you +have, but I know I have not." + +"Mamma says," answered Amy, "that being sorry for our faults and wishing +to do better is a sign of it; and you know, Dora, you often tell me how +much you wish to do right, and sometimes, when I have had a great many +wrong feelings--vain feelings, I mean, and angry and envious ones--the +only thing that makes me at all happy again, is because I feel sorry for +it." + +Dora sighed deeply. "I wish," she said, "that the bad nature would +go all at once, I am so tired of wishing to do good, and always doing +wrong, and then I begin to think there is no use in trying. It would be +easier if I could believe that it was true about baptism, because then +it would appear as if there was something to help me; but I have always +heard people talk about having such a very wicked nature, till at last +it seemed foolish to hope to be good, as if it were impossible; not but +what I do try sometimes, Amy," she continued, with a sudden impulse +to be unreserved, which she had occasionally felt when talking to her +cousin since their little disagreement; "I do try sometimes, though I +daresay you will not believe it, because I am so cross. I meant to have +tried this morning, only Lucy Cunningham made me so angry by the way she +twisted her head about, and the nonsense she talked at breakfast, that I +could not help becoming out of humour with every one; and when once I +am annoyed in the morning, I go on so all day; but you cannot understand +that, it is so unlike you." + +"I can, though," replied Amy, "for I very often am provoked when I watch +Miss Cunningham, and hear her talk; but I try not to look at her, and to +think of something else." + +"I cannot do that," said Dora; "when she is in the room, I find myself +watching her and listening to her, though I would give the world not to +do it; for I am always longing to stop her, or say something sharp; and +yet, when I do, I am so vexed with myself for it. I know nothing will +ever go right while she is with us." + +"Then you will not be uncomfortable long," replied Amy. + +"But," said Dora, "I know very well that it is no use feeling properly +only when everything goes as you like; what I wish is to have the power +of being good always. There are some people who are never put out of +humour--aunt Herbert for one; I long to be like her." + +"So do I," exclaimed Amy, eagerly; "but then she is so very, very good; +I don't think it is possible to be what she is; Mrs Walton says she +never met with any one like her." + +"That is what disheartens me; good people are so up in the clouds, where +one can never get at them." + +"I suppose, though," answered Amy, "they were not always so good. Mamma +often says she did a great many naughty things when she was my age." + +"I wish she would tell me what made her better, then," said Dora. "Did +she ever tell you?" + +"No," replied Amy; "all that she ever told me was what I ought to do +myself to cure my faults; and she said that she would pray to God to +help me." + +"No one will ever promise that for me," observed Dora, sighing. + +"But mamma will, I am sure," exclaimed Amy, eagerly; "and I----" + +"Why do you stop?" said Dora. + +"Mamma tells me to mention all your names in my prayers," replied Amy; +"but I don't mean that that would be the same as her doing so, because +she is so much better." + +"I cannot see what difference that can make. I should like very much +to think you did it always for me; but it must be such a trouble to +remember." + +"Oh no, Dora, it would seem so unkind not to do it; and if I thought +you cared, I never could forget; but some day or other, when I am quite +good, it will be of much more use." + +"Does aunt Herbert think that no one must pray for others but those who +never do anything wrong?" asked Dora, in a tone of surprise. + +"No; she says we all ought to pray for each other, and that it is quite +our duty. But we are told in the Bible that very good persons' prayers +are heard particularly; and so mamma says that is one reason for trying +to conquer our faults; because God will be more likely to attend to us +then." + +"I cannot think you ever had any faults to cure; you never could have +been ill-tempered." + +"Oh Dora! pray don't say so; it makes me think I must be so deceitful, +for I am often ill-tempered, and I used to be so every day at my +lessons." + +"Then," said Dora, "you can tell me just what I want to know. What did +you do to make yourself better?" + +"I used to talk about it to mamma," replied Amy; "and one day +particularly, I remember, I was very unhappy, and thought I should be +cross all my life; and then she showed me a prayer which she had written +out for me. It was taken from the Collects and the Psalms; and she +begged me to repeat it every morning and evening, and once in the middle +of the day, too, and try to think about it; and she marked some verses +in the Bible, and gave me a short prayer besides--just a few words to +say to myself when I felt that I was becoming out of temper; and she +advised me, when I knew I had been doing wrong, in that or anything +else, to go to my room instantly, and pray to God to forgive me; and +after I had done as she desired for some time, and really tried very +hard not to speak when I was angry, and to give up to whatever mamma +wished, I found it much easier to be good-tempered." + +"But," said Dora, "that is so much to do. I never heard before of any +one saying their prayers in the middle of the day. Why should it be +necessary?" + +"Oh!" replied Amy, "if people do not pray, they never can have any help +from God; and the Holy Spirit, which was given them at their baptism, +will go away from them, and they will become dreadfully wicked." + +"It is right for people to say their prayers every morning and evening, +of course," said Dora; "but I must say again, I never heard of any +persons doing it in the middle of the day." + +"I thought a great many people did; at least I know I have read in the +old times of some who said them seven times, and in the Bible it is +mentioned. Don't you remember one of the lessons they read in the church +about Daniel, and how he prayed three times every day?" + +"Ah, yes! in the Bible; but then in the Bible every one does what is +right. I never think the persons we read of there could be like us." + +"They did not always do right, though," answered Amy, "because it very +often says that God was displeased with them. You know how angry Moses +was once, and how he was not allowed to go with the Israelites. Whenever +I read that, I always think that I should have felt exactly like him." + +"I cannot say I ever thought much about it," said Dora. "One hears it +all in church; but I always am so sleepy on a Sunday, that I cannot +attend." + +"But I suppose you are not always sleepy when you read at home." + +"I never do read at home now; we used to do it when we were children, +for mamma taught us to read like every one else out of the Bible, but I +thought of nothing but the hard words, and it always appeared a lesson +book, and so I never looked at it afterwards. I forgot, though, on a +Sunday we were accustomed to read a chapter, but we have left off that +lately--I don't quite know why, except that we are too old." + +"Too old to read the Bible!" repeated Amy, with a feeling of painful +surprise that her cousin should have such ideas. + +"I don't mean too old to read it at all," replied Dora, "but too old to +be forced to do it." + +"Mamma does not force me to do it," said Amy; "but it seems to come +naturally; the day would be quite strange if we missed it." + +"Do you mean to say that you read it every day, or only on Sundays?" + +"Every day," replied Amy. "We always read the psalms and lessons the +first thing after breakfast, except on Wednesdays and Fridays, and +Saints' days, when we go to church." + +"Go to church on the week-days!" exclaimed Dora; "who ever heard of such +a thing?" + +"I thought it was what almost every one did," replied Amy; "and I always +fancied you would if you were not so far from the church." + +"I cannot imagine what the good of it all is," said Dora. + +"But it is ordered," replied Amy, "in the Prayer Book." + +"I do not see that is any reason for it; its being ordered does not make +it good." + +"I once asked mamma some questions about it," said Amy, "and she told me +that the Prayer Book was put together by very good men, who know a great +deal better than we do what was right; and that it was composed from the +prayers which were used a great, great many years before, just in the +time after our Saviour died, and that they had made all the rules about +the service and the Saints' days, according to the old customs; and so +now, it was the law of the Church in England, and every one ought to +attend to it." + +"Every one does not attend to it, though," replied Dora; "at Wayland, no +person ever thought of going to church except on Sundays." + +"I believe," said Amy, "the Prayer Book says there ought to be service +every day; and there are regular psalms and lessons marked in the +calendar." + +"Perhaps so; but I am sure if people were to go to church as often as +you say, there would be no time for anything else." + +"We generally manage to do very much the same on Wednesdays and Fridays +as on other days; it is merely doing things at different hours." + +"If I could only see the good of it, I should not care," said Dora; "but +it is so strange to be always thinking so much of one thing; prayers at +home, and reading the Bible, and going to church every day--I should get +so tired of it." + +"You would not be tired if you were accustomed to it, because it would +come to you naturally, like eating, and drinking, and sleeping; and, +besides, it prevents one from going on wrong all day." + +"How do you mean?" asked Dora. + +"Don't you know," replied Amy, "that when things are disagreeable in the +morning, and one is put out of temper, it seems as if nothing would put +one right again?" + +"Well, yes!" said Dora, rather impatiently; "go on." + +"Then," continued Amy, "if I am cross, and the time comes for reading +the psalms and lessons, or going to church, or saying the prayer mamma +gave me for the middle of the day, it stops me; because it seems so much +more wicked to be cross in church, or when one is reading the Bible, +than at any other time; and then I get better, and set off again fresh." + +"That is the reason, I suppose," said Dora, "that you are never angry a +whole day together, as a great many people are; but I cannot understand +where you get the time for it all; does it never interfere with your +walking or your lessons?" + +"No," replied Amy, "because we reckon upon it beforehand; and when we +are thinking of what is to be done in the day, we always remember that +we shall be sometime in church or reading the psalms and lessons; and +mamma arranges so as not to let it interfere." + +"But still you must be tired of it," persisted Dora; "it is quite +impossible that you should go on, day after day, and not wish for a +change. I am sure I get quite tired of going to church on Sundays; and I +do not know what I should do if I were obliged to go every day." + +"I don't like it always," replied Amy, while the colour mounted to her +cheek; "and I know I do not attend half as I ought; but I am sure it +makes the day go right, and mamma tells me it will be pleasanter to me +every year; besides, I know that if it were not for going to church and +reading with mamma, and all that sort of thing, I should be so much more +ill-tempered, and envious, and vain, than I am now, and then I should +be wretched; for you don't know, Dora, what very bad feelings I have +sometimes;" and the tears started into Amy's eyes as she spoke, at the +recollection of the last Saturday evening. + +Dora was silent; her own faults were so much greater than her cousin's, +that Amy's self-reproach was more bitter than any reproof could possibly +have been. If Amy were so grieved at the remembrance of an impatient +word, or a passing thought of vanity, what ought she to feel whose whole +life had been one of pride and self-will? She felt, too, as if she had +no right to attempt to comfort one who was so much better than herself; +and stood for several moments looking at Amy with wonder and interest, +till the striking of the clock recalled her to herself, and, starting +at the time they had spent together, she declared the day was half gone +already, and there were a hundred things to be done before the people +came. + +"I had quite forgotten them," said Amy; "I think, Dora, I forget a great +many things when I am talking to you." + +"Do you?" said Dora, turning suddenly round to kiss her; "it cannot be +any use to you to talk to me, because you have aunt Herbert to go to." + +"I do like it, though, so very much," answered Amy, "and I think about +it afterwards; but I wish I could help you in amusing every one." + +"I must leave them to their fate," said Dora, preparing to leave the +room, "for mamma wants me, I know; but Amy," she added, stopping, and +apparently desirous, yet unwilling to say more; "I wish----no, never +mind now." + +"Oh! do tell it me," said Amy; "is it anything I can do for you? I +should be so glad." + +"No, nothing, nothing," hastily repeated Dora, though her manner was at +variance with her words. + +"But you must tell me," said Amy, seizing her dress to prevent her +going; "I am sure you mean something; can I look out some books, or put +the room in order, or get anything for you?" + +"No, nothing of that kind; but, Amy, should you--should you very much +mind letting me see the prayer aunt Herbert gave you?" + +"Oh! if you would but let me give it you," exclaimed Amy, "for it is in +mamma's handwriting; and I think you would like it all the better for +that, and it is such a nice one; shall I go and fetch it?" + +"I must not wait now," said Dora, "for I am after my time with mamma; +but if you will put it in my room by and by, I should thank you so very +much; and I shall always think of you when I look at it." + +"And of mamma," said Amy; "and some day, perhaps, Dora, you will be able +to talk to her as I do, and ask her anything you want to know." + +Dora shook her head, for she believed she never could be unreserved with +any one but her cousin, and hastened to her mamma's room, with a longing +desire that she could go to her for advice as Amy did to Mrs Herbert. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +Dora's time was so fully occupied for the rest of the morning that she +was quite unable to form any scheme of amusement; and three o'clock +arrived, and with it carriage after carriage, each bringing an +importation of visitors, before she had at all decided upon what was to +be done with them. Frank had gone out with the young Dornfords, who came +early, according to their engagement; and the three boys who arrived +afterwards were immediately despatched to the lake to find him, and +amuse themselves with skating. + +"Boys are no trouble," thought Dora; "they always go out of doors, and +take care of themselves; but girls----" and she sighed as she looked +upon the five young ladies who, dressed in their best silks and gayest +bonnets, stood each by the side of her mamma, very silent, very shy, and +very uncomfortable. + +"You will take your young friends into the schoolroom, Dora," said Mrs +Harrington, in her most gentle tone. "I suppose none of them will like +walking such a cold afternoon as this; but you will find plenty of +entertainment for them there; and with Margaret, and Miss Cunningham, +and Amy, you will make quite a pleasant little party." + +"There can be no doubt of that," said a tall, good-natured looking lady, +who had brought her two little girls to pay their first visit from home. +"In a house like this there is always something agreeable to be done; +and then it is so pleasant for young people to be together. My children +live in such retirement that it is an especial treat to them to have +companions." + +The two little girls clung more closely to their mother's side as she +spoke, apparently thinking that the greatest treat at that moment would +be to remain under her protection; but Dora led the way to the door, and +they were obliged to follow, hand in hand, and casting imploring looks +upon their mamma to persuade her to go with them. She half rose from +her seat, but Mrs Harrington stopped her. "You need not be uneasy, Mrs +Danvers," she said; "Dora will take care of them." + +"Oh yes! of course, of course," repeated Mrs Danvers; "but they are so +shy, poor children; I should just like to see how they manage to go on +amongst so many strangers." + +"Certainly," replied Mrs Harrington; "we will look in upon them by and +by. Would you like to take a little walk before dinner, or should you +prefer remaining in the house, as it is so cold?" + +"I should be glad to know what the children will do," said poor Mrs +Danvers, in a fever of anxiety for their enjoyment, the moment they were +out of her sight. + +"We will inquire presently," persisted Mrs Harrington, who was always +firm, even in trifling matters; and had made up her mind they should be +left to themselves at first, to become acquainted with the rest of the +party. + +"If I could just ask them," said Mrs Danvers; "I dare say I could easily +find my way to the schoolroom--where is it?" + +"At the other end of the house," replied Mrs Harrington. + +"Oh, just along the passages that we passed as we came in, I dare say." + +"No, quite in a contrary direction. If you wish to know what your +children prefer doing, Thomson shall ask for you." + +Mrs Harrington rang the bell, and Thomson was sent to the schoolroom, +while Mrs Danvers sat pondering upon the extreme unpleasantness of being +a visitor in the house of any lady who was determined to have her own +way. + +Amy was in the schoolroom, waiting for her cousins, and a little time +was spent in introductions, and in discussing whether it was a pleasant +afternoon, and whether the snow would be disagreeable if they went out +on the terrace; and when at last it was decided to be very cold, and +that they had thin shoes on, and that one was rather liable to cold, +and another to cough, &c., Dora found they were resolutely bent on an +afternoon in the house, and all that was to be done was to show them to +their respective apartments to take off their bonnets and shawls, and +to wish heartily that they would remain there till summoned to the +drawing-room for the evening. Quickly, much more quickly than Dora +had supposed possible, they appeared again, full of expectation that +something was to happen which was to give them very great pleasure. The +visit to Emmerton had been talked of for weeks before; it had been the +subject of their thoughts by day and their dreams by night; and the +three school-girls (Dora's particular dread) had exulted when they +announced to their companions that a portion of the Christmas holidays +was to be passed at Emmerton Hall. In former days Mr Harrington's family +had been not only the richest, but the gayest in the county, and every +one associated with the name of Emmerton visions of breakfast-parties, +dinner-parties, riding-parties, music, balls, and every kind of +festivity; and though too young to be admitted to all these pleasures, +the young ladies had still a bright, but somewhat indistinct notion, +that a visit at Emmerton must be the height of human enjoyment; whilst +poor Dora was expected to realise all these gay expectations when she +was dissatisfied with herself, unhappy at the recollection of Wayland +and her brother Edward, and with no one but Amy to assist in making +every one comfortable. + +A faint, despairing smile passed over her face as they entered, one +after the other; and she cast a hopeless glance at Amy. Margaret had +promised to appear, but Miss Cunningham considered it necessary to +make some change in her dress, and her inseparable companion could not +possibly leave her. + +"You must have had a very cold drive," said Dora to the eldest Miss +Stanley, a girl about her own age,--quiet, timid, and awed by the +strangeness of everything about her. It was the fourth time the +observation had been made; and for the fourth time the same low, +half-hesitating "Yes," was given in reply; and there the conversation +ended, and Dora turned to her other visitors, hoping to find them more +communicative. Unhappily her manner was such as to repel instead of +encouraging them; she really wished to be kind and agreeable, but she +did not for a moment forget that she was Miss Harrington of Emmerton +Hall; and her efforts to be polite were so evident, and she was so very +condescending in everything she did and said, that it was impossible for +the poor girls to be at ease. + +Amy saw that her cousin was very different from what she usually was, +but could not comprehend in what the change consisted, and only longed +for her to leave off asking them if they liked music and drawing, and +whether they preferred home or school, and how many brothers and sisters +they had, and talk of something more interesting. Anything would have +been preferable to the formality of asking a string of questions; even +she herself was a little chilled by Dora's manner, and only ventured to +say a few words in an undertone to a rather pretty, delicate girl, who +stood by the fire near her. This most disagreeable constraint had lasted +about ten minutes, when, to Amy's extreme satisfaction, Miss Morton's +voice was heard in the passage, and almost immediately afterwards she +entered, followed by Rose, laden with a doll nearly as large as herself, +which she was only allowed to play with occasionally. She ran into the +room with great glee, to exhibit her treasure to Amy, but shrank away +on seeing so many strange faces; every one, however, seemed to feel her +appearance an indescribable relief; the shy Miss Stanley stooped to kiss +her, and ask how old she was; her sister begged to know the name of the +doll; and Amy's friend was delighted to find in her a resemblance to a +sister of about the same age; while the two younger children looked with +envy and admiration upon the handsome pink frock and bright blue bonnet, +which was always the holiday dress of the beautiful doll. But a greater +charm than Rose and her doll was soon found in Emily Morton's manner. +She went from one to the other, saying something kind to each, in a +voice so sweet that it would have made even a commonplace expression +agreeable; and after a few trifling questions, which gave her some +idea of their peculiar tastes and dispositions, she managed, by making +observations of her own, to induce them to do the same; and listening +with real and not forced interest to whatever was said, she led them on +to describe their companions and their school life, till Dora found, to +her surprise, that Hester Stanley, whom she had decided in her own mind +to be almost devoid of intellect, and certainly unutterably dull, was +a good French and Italian scholar, very fond of drawing, and farther +advanced than herself in her acquaintance with books in general; that +her sister was extremely amusing; and that Mary Warner had travelled +on the Continent, and had many stories to tell of the peculiarities of +foreign manners and customs. The younger children looked at Rose for a +few minutes without speaking, then ventured to touch the doll, and at +last, with one consent, seemed to resolve on being sociable, and retired +into a corner of the room to enact the parts of mamma, nurse, and doctor +to the poor doll, who, in spite of her brilliant colour, was pronounced +to be in a most dangerous state of health, and to require instant +advice; while the party collected round the fire, growing bolder and +bolder as the noise in the room increased, began at last so entirely to +enjoy themselves, that when the dusk of the evening had stolen on them, +and a proposition was made by the children for candles, there was a +general petition for a few moments' respite, that they might have the +luxury and freedom of talking by firelight prolonged. It was a strange +contrast to the stiffness of the first half-hour; and Dora hardly knew +whether she quite approved of it; it seemed to throw her so completely +in the background; but to Amy it was delightful. It was so new, and so +interesting to hear a description of a school life, that she thought she +could have listened forever; and even Margaret and Miss Cunningham, who +came into the room in the middle of one of Julia Stanley's most amusing +stories, appeared to take some pleasure in what was passing. Margaret's +interest was real; but Miss Cunningham's satisfaction arose from the +comparison which she could make in her own mind between the splendour +of Rochford Park and the very ordinary style of living to which her new +acquaintances had been accustomed; and at every possible opportunity she +broke out into exclamations of "Dear me! how strange! how very shabby! +what a wretched place your school must be!" till she hoped she had +fully convinced them of the fact, that the habits in which she had been +brought up were immeasurably superior to theirs. Julia Stanley, however, +was not at all awed by Miss Cunningham's grandeur; she continued her +stories, talking very fast, and laughing heartily, and caring little +what was thought as long as she could make others laugh also; but +her sister was not equally insensible; and every now and then she +endeavoured to check the flow of Julia's spirits, and to suggest that +the customs of their school were not entirely as she had represented. + +"You must not believe everything Julia tells you exactly," she said, +turning to Miss Cunningham, who seemed quite unable to comprehend the +fact of any young ladies being so ill-treated as to have no second +course at dinner, no curtains to their beds, nor fires in their rooms. +"She runs on so fast that she forgets. We always have puddings on +Saturdays; and we have fires when we are ill; and there are curtains in +the largest room, only we have never slept there." + +"Well, then, bad is the best, is all that I can say for your school," +said Miss Cunningham; "and as for ladies being brought up in such a way, +how is it possible for them ever to know how to behave, if they are not +taken more care of?" + +"It must be very uncomfortable," said Dora; "but really I cannot see +what a second course, and curtains, and fires, have to do with manners." + +"To be sure not," exclaimed Julia; "what does it signify? It is very +hard and disagreeable sometimes, and we cry a good deal when first we go +there--that is, some of the little ones do; but after a few weeks it is +all right, and we eat our cold rice pudding, and think it delicious." + +"Cold rice pudding!" repeated Amy, who had a peculiar dislike to it; "do +you never have anything but cold rice pudding?" + +"Not very often," replied Julia; "but, as I said before, it really does +not signify. I assure you, if you were up at six o'clock every day, as +we are, and had nothing but hard lessons from morning till night, you +would think cold rice pudding one of the nicest things you had ever +tasted. I don't think I ever like anything we have at home half as +well." + +"Well!" exclaimed Miss Cunningham, "I never heard of such a school +before; all my notions were, that young ladies lived together, and +learned a few lessons, and had French and drawing masters, and ladies' +maids, and carriages--that would be agreeable enough; but you might +just as well be cottagers' children, if you live so shabbily; and what a +difference it must make after your home! How you must miss your carriage +and servants!" + +"I do not," said Mary Warner; "we have no carriage." + +"Not keep a carriage!" exclaimed Miss Cunningham; "then how do you +manage to get from one place to another?" + +"Really," interrupted Dora, "I do not think you should cross-question +any one in that way. Of course, there are carriages to be had, even if +people do not choose to keep them." + +"There are coaches always passing near us," said Mary; "and so it is +very convenient." + +"Coaches!--you mean stage coaches, I suppose," said Miss Cunningham. + +"Yes," replied Mary; "one of them goes to Sandham, where our school is; +so there is no difficulty about my travelling." + +"That is the strangest thing of all," said Miss Cunningham. "Do you mean +really that your papa and mamma allow you to travel about the country in +a stage coach?" + +The tone in which this was said sounded even more disagreeable than +the words; and Julia Stanley instantly took offence. "And why not!" she +exclaimed; "why should not people ride in stage coaches if they like +it?" + +"Of course, if they like it," said Margaret, who was always willing +to side with her friend; "but liking it is a very different thing from +being obliged to do it." + +"So it may be," replied Julia; "but almost every one does it now." + +"I never do," said Miss Cunningham, pointedly. + +"Very likely," answered Julia; "but then you are only one person; and +almost all those I know go in stage coaches constantly; so you need not +be so much surprised at Mary Warner." + +Miss Cunningham pouted and drew up her head, and thought Julia one of +the most forward, impertinent girls she had ever met with; and Hester +began to fear there must be something very derogatory to the dignity of +a lady in travelling by a public conveyance; and yet remembering that +once, when their own horses were lame, she had been obliged to +avail herself of it, she could not with a clear conscience deny her +acquaintance with them; she could, however, abuse them heartily, and +lament the necessity which had induced their papa to allow it--quite +agreeing with Margaret and Miss Cunningham, that it was not a common +thing for people to do. + +"Nonsense, Hester," exclaimed Julia; "you know as well as I do, that it +is the most probable thing in the world that we shall go back to school +by the coach; and what will your pride say to that?" + +"Oh, papa mentioned something about it one day," replied Hester; "but of +course he was not in earnest." + +"But he was," answered Julia. "He said that now our cousins had left +school, it would be a great expense for us to travel by ourselves, and +that he should certainly put us into the stage coach, and let William +take care of us, and then there would be no trouble about the matter. I +wish," she added, turning to Amy, who stood next her, "that Hester would +not try, as she always does, to make herself as grand and as fine as the +people she is with." + +Amy felt a slight pang of self-reproach as Julia spoke this; for when +the conversation had first begun, she felt she should not like to +say, as Mary Warner had done, that her papa and mamma did not keep a +carriage; and it appeared almost like deception to blame another for +a fault she was conscious of herself. "I think," she said, in reply to +Julia's observation, "that it is not right to wish to be just the +same as other people; but I am afraid I should like it; and I am sure, +indeed," she added, with an effort, "that I should be glad to have a +carriage to take me wherever I wanted to go." + +"Then you have not one," said Julia; "that seems strange, being Mr +Harrington's niece." + +"My uncle's being rich does not make any difference to us," was the +answer, "except when we are staying here, and have the use of his +things; but I think I should almost prefer being without them, because +then I should not miss them." + +"I used to think," said Julia, still speaking in a tone only to be heard +by Amy, "that it signified a great deal about the way in which people +lived till I knew Mary Warner; but she had such different notions that +she made me think differently too." + +"What notions?" asked Amy. + +"Oh, I cannot tell you all now; but her papa was very rich--very rich +indeed, and lived in a beautiful place; but in some way--I cannot quite +understand how--he lost all his money, and was obliged to sell his +property, and live in a much smaller house. If he had chosen, he might +have had it all back again; but he is a very good man, and would not +do something which he thought was not quite honourable; and so they +continue living in the same inferior way, though no one, of course, +thinks the worse of him for it, because every one says he has acted so +nobly. This makes Mary care little for the change. She says her papa +is so respected, and she is so fond of him, that it seems better to her +than if they had all the fine places in the world." + +Amy looked with interest at Mary as she heard this; but she was not able +to continue the conversation, for the servant entered with candles, and +tea immediately followed; and after tea they were all to dress for the +evening. + +To Dora's satisfaction, it had been decided that the boys were to dine +late, so she was spared the task of keeping them in order; and, finding +that every one was beginning to feel comfortable and at home, her own +dignity a little relaxed, and she began to think that, after all, the +infliction of a three days' visit from the school-girls might not be so +very unendurable. + +Amy hastened to her mother's room as soon as tea was over, in the +hope of finding her there; for she had intended dining by herself, and +appearing in the drawing-room only in the evening. "I must talk to you +one minute, dear mamma," she said, as she entered. "We have been getting +on so nicely in the schoolroom--so much better than I expected, only it +was dreadful just at first. They were so silent, and Dora looked like +a duchess. If I had not been her cousin I should have laughed; but I +fancied they would think I ought to entertain them, and that made me +feel more shy than ever; and then they all spoke in such a low voice +that every word I said was heard." + +"Well!" answered Mrs Herbert; "but who broke the spell?" + +"Miss Morton, mamma," replied Amy; "and I should like to understand what +made her so different from Dora." + +"She is much older," said Mrs Herbert; "naturally that would make a +difference." + +"It was not quite that," continued Amy; "for if it had been my aunt +Harrington, I don't think we should have ventured to speak a word; but +there was something in Miss Morton's manner that made every one appear +at ease. Can you tell me what it was?" + +"You must imagine me to be a fairy. How can I possibly judge of what +Miss Morton did when I was not present?" + +"But can you not guess from her character?" asked Amy. "You have seen so +much more of her lately, that I think you must know." + +"At least, you are determined, as usual," said Mrs Herbert, smiling, +"that I shall give you a reason for everything which you cannot quite +comprehend. I suspect, in the present instance, the secret consisted +in Dora's thinking of herself all the time she was talking, and Miss +Morton's thinking of others." + +"That is not quite clear, mamma," replied Amy. "Does thinking of one's +self make one stiff and formal?" + +"Generally, either stiff or affected," replied Mrs Herbert; "yet it is +very difficult to avoid doing it. You will often hear persons speaking +of what are sometimes called 'company manners,'--not meaning exactly +affectation, but a manner approaching to it, which is not quite natural; +and it almost always arises from this same cause. It is, in fact, very +nearly allied to selfishness; for we care so much more for ourselves +than others, that we take a greater interest in thinking of ourselves +than of them, and so we become disagreeable." + +"But how can we help it?" asked Amy. + +"By trying, every day of our lives, to consult the happiness of those we +live with," answered Mrs Herbert. "I mean, in the merest trifles, such +as giving up a pleasant seat, or an amusing book, or fetching things for +them to save them trouble, or listening to them when they wish to talk +to us. By these means we can acquire a habit of forgetting ourselves +which will remain with us whether we are in company, or only with our +own family." + +Amy listened to her mother with an earnest wish to follow her advice; +and when she joined the party in the drawing-room she found immediate +opportunities of putting it in practice. + +The evening was a cheerful one, for Mr Harrington proposed some +Christmas games, and insisted upon every one's joining them; and +although Dora and Miss Cunningham held back, and thought themselves too +old, and too dignified, they were at length obliged to yield; and the +rest of the party were so merry that they did not notice their grave +looks and slow movements. Amy enjoyed herself thoroughly; and when her +gay laugh caught Mrs Herbert's ear, it gave her more happiness than she +had felt for many months, since she could now venture to dwell on the +delight which Colonel Herbert would experience on seeing her so entirely +what he could most have desired his child to be. Dora was almost jealous +as she noticed the regard which Amy attracted, and wondered what the +secret could be. Perhaps, if she had followed her cousin's example, and +given up a seat to Mary Warner when she was tired, and assisted Hester +Stanley when her sandal broke, and soothed one of the children when she +fell down and was frightened, she too might have been a favourite; +but without intending to be unkind, she managed so openly to show her +dislike to what was going on, that every one endeavoured to keep aloof +from her; and if they did speak, the answer was so cold, and the manner +so proud, that the wish to make another attempt was impossible. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + + +When Amy met her new acquaintance the next morning, after having thought +them over attentively while she was dressing, she had quite decided on +the one she liked best. Julia Stanley had at first amused her so much, +and was so very lively and good-tempered, that it seemed impossible not +to give the preference to her; but even then there was something in her +quick manner and hasty expressions which rather annoyed Amy's feelings, +when contrasted with Miss Morton's gentleness and refinement; and in the +course of the evening, as she observed her more narrowly, her conduct to +Miss Cunningham had struck her as peculiarly disagreeable. It required +but very little time to perceive Miss Cunningham's deficiencies; and +Julia, who was remarkably quick and clever, had not been in her company +for half an hour before she had discovered them; and her great amusement +was to turn everything she said into ridicule. For the first few minutes +Amy had been amused; but afterwards an endeavour of Emily Morton's to +check some satirical observations, had shown her that she was wrong; and +a sense of politeness soon made her aware that Julia allowed cleverness +and high spirits to carry her beyond the bounds of propriety. When Dora +gave Miss Cunningham what Frank would have called "a set down," it was +done in a lady-like way, as far as manner was concerned. She delighted +in saying the most pointed things in the most pointed tone, yet she +would on no account have neglected the little attentions which Miss +Cunningham's position demanded; but Julia Stanley, feeling herself +infinitely superior to Lord Rochford's daughter in intellect and +accomplishments, considered that she was, on this account, freed from +any demands upon her politeness; and had made no scruple of pushing into +a room before her, interrupting her when speaking, and endeavouring +to show that she did not consider her as entitled to any respect or +attention. All this was peculiarly disagreeable to Amy, who, having +always lived with persons who were polite upon Christian principles, +could not in the least comprehend the rudeness of self-conceit; and if +Julia had offended her in one way, her sister's manner had been equally +unpleasant in another. She had been Miss Cunningham's shadow and echo; +she had followed her from place to place, admiring her dress and her +ornaments, and begging her to describe Rochford Park, and hinting how +much she should like to see it; and once or twice she had turned to Amy +to extort her admiration also, when sincerity had obliged her entirely +to differ. + +A little of the same flattery had also been bestowed upon Dora, but +it was received so coolly, that there was no temptation to repeat it +a second time; for Dora, though she loved praise and flattery, still +required it to be administered delicately, through the medium of a +third person; and fancied herself insensible to it, because she never +encouraged any one to tell her, in direct terms, that she was beautiful +and clever. Mary Warner's manner resembled neither; it was not quite so +polished as Amy would have liked, but it was simple and straightforward. +She had never seen any place so beautiful as Emmerton, and she said so +plainly; but she also said that she thought there were too many trees +about it, and she should have preferred the house being built higher. It +was the same with everything else--she expressed her opinion when asked +without reserve; but she did not, like Julia, intrude disagreeable +observations uncalled for, nor, like Hester, pretend to see beauties +where there was nothing to admire. The uprightness of her father's +character seemed to have descended to her; and Amy willingly forgave +any little awkwardness of manner when she saw Mary's firmness and +simplicity; while even Dora was rather won by the unconcern with which +she listened to Miss Cunningham's impertinences, and the openness +with which she acknowledged the inferiority of her own home to +Emmerton--apparently thinking it a matter of indifference whether she +lived in a large house or a small one. It was a point of character which +Dora could appreciate and admire, though it was not one she thought it +necessary to imitate. But Miss Cunningham felt very differently; and her +good-humour was not at all increased by the failure of her endeavours to +inspire both Julia and Mary with awe and admiration; and to complete +her discomfort, when breakfast was over, Miss Morton gently proposed +her practising for half-an-hour; adding that Lord Rochford had +again mentioned the subject, and begged that she would assist her in +perfecting the piece she had been trying, so that it might be played in +the evening. Miss Cunningham did not speak, but she looked her thoughts, +and yet she did not venture to rebel; for Lord Rochford, with all his +fondness, had some peculiarities; and the arrangement of his daughter's +studies was his peculiar hobby. It seemed, however, as if she had +secretly resolved that the pleasures of a London journey should not be +marred by any progress she might make under Miss Morton's tuition; and +bad as her performance had been before, it was much worse this morning. +Miss Morton, with unwearied patience, corrected her false notes, asked +her to repeat the difficult passages, and showed her again and again how +they were to be played; but the long, stiff fingers appeared to possess +some innate spirit of obstinacy; they would move exactly in the way in +which they should not have moved; they would play sharps for flats, and +turn crotchets into quavers, and minims into crotchets; until Amy, +who, with the exception of Julia Stanley, was the only person present +besides, wondered how it was possible for Miss Morton to persevere, +and Julia, after a pretended attempt to conceal her amusement, laughed +aloud. Miss Cunningham heard the laugh, and felt it keenly, and +forgetting everything but her annoyance, she jumped up from her seat, +closed the book, and without speaking, rushed out of the room. + +"Well! that is delightful," exclaimed Julia; "I would have laughed +before, if I had thought it would bring matters to a conclusion." + +Amy wished to say something, but she felt painfully shy, for she had +begun to dread Julia's satire; and, happily for her, Emily Morton spoke +instead. + +"I should be very sorry," she said, "to believe you in earnest, you +would hardly acknowledge so openly that you took pleasure in hurting the +feelings of another." + +"Only she took pleasure in hurting my ears," replied Julia. + +"Not intentionally," said Miss Morton; "but I am sure you cannot really +mean what you say; you must be sorry for having given pain." + +"Miss Cunningham is so very silly," persisted Julia, who was never +willing to confess herself in the wrong; "it really is impossible to +help laughing at her. You know there can be no harm in being amused at +people's folly." + +"I cannot agree with you at all," said Emily; "and as to Miss +Cunningham's sense, it is not her own choice to be less clever than +others." + +"To be sure not," exclaimed Julia, pertly; "who would be stupid if +they could help it? But it does not make people at all the less absurd, +because it is not their own fault." + +"There again I must differ from you," replied Emily. "It makes all +the difference possible. Self-conceit, and vanity, and pride may +be ridiculous, but not mere deficiency of understanding; it is the +appointment of God, just as much as poverty or illness may be; and I +think, from something I heard you say yesterday, you would not be at all +inclined to laugh at any one who had less money than yourself." + +"Oh no! certainly not," said Julia; "but cleverness is quite a different +thing. I do so like bright, clever people; and I do so delight in +laughing at stupid ones. All the world thinks more of cleverness than of +anything else." + +"But it does not follow that all the world are right," replied Emily. + +"But a great many strict people that I know think so," said Julia. "I +very often hear some friends of ours say--such a person is not quite +right, but then he is so clever; and it does make up for a great many +things; you must own that." + +"Indeed I cannot own it," replied Emily: "I do not see that it makes up +for anything." + +"But don't you like it?" asked Julia, in a tone of great surprise. + +"Yes, very much--just as I like to see a pretty face, or to listen to +beautiful music; but I do not esteem it. I mean," she added, observing +that Julia continued silent from astonishment, "that I do not think +it forms part of a person's character, any more than his houses or his +clothes do." + +"But have you no value at all for it?" said Julia, + +"Yes," replied Emily; "and so I have for riches--both may be made the +instruments of good; but I do not value a person who is rich, because +he is rich--neither do I value a person who is clever, because he is +clever. If the rich man turns his riches to good account, I value him +for his generosity and self-denial; and if the clever man uses his +talents well, I value him because I see he is trying to serve God; but +I should have just as much esteem for a poor man, or a man with inferior +understanding, if they were equally good." + +"But," said Julia, "all the celebrated people one reads of were not +good, and yet there is just as much fuss made about them now as if they +were angels--every one talks of them and praises them." + +"Yes," replied Miss Morton, gravely, and then paused as if lost in her +own thoughts. + +"What were you going to say?" asked Amy. + +"I did not like to say what was in my mind," replied Emily; "it is so +very painful; but, you know, the opinions of men can be nothing when a +person is dead." + +Julia seemed struck with the observation, but did not speak, for she +began to feel ashamed, and was endeavouring to summon courage to confess +herself in the wrong. "I wish you would go on talking," she said, after +the silence had continued for several minutes; "but then you think me so +rude that perhaps you will not take the trouble." + +"It is not what I think, but what Miss Cunningham thinks, which is of +importance," replied Miss Morton; "you have not been rude to me." + +"Well! I was not quite polite perhaps, only really I could not help it. +Shall I beg her pardon?" + +"No!" exclaimed Emily, "pray do not do that; it would only make matters +worse, because you must own then that you thought her ridiculous." + +"But what shall I do?" asked Julia. + +"Will you let me tell you without thinking I am interfering?" said +Emily. + +"Oh yes, pray do. You know, at school every one speaks their mind, so I +am quite accustomed to it." + +"Well, then! I should recommend you to begin by keeping a strict guard +over yourself for the rest of the day, that you may not be guilty of the +same fault again, and not to force yourself upon Miss Cunningham, but +to show her quietly a few little attentions; and if she is proud and +annoyed, to try and feel that it is only what you have brought upon +yourself, and therefore not to be angry with her." + +"But that is not the least in my way," said Julia; "I could go just at +this minute and say I am sorry, because I am in the humour; and I should +be rather glad to make it up and be friends again, though she is so +silly; but as for going on all day paying little attentions to a person +who has not a single idea in her head, is what I never did and never can +do." + +"Never will, you mean," replied Miss Morton. "We often say _can_, when +we ought to say _will_." + +"Well! can or will," exclaimed Julia; "it is all the same. Only if I +may beg Miss Cunningham's pardon now, I don't care; but if I must not do +that, she must take her chance; and if she makes herself ridiculous, I +must laugh at her." + +"Because you think yourself cleverer," said Miss Morton; "is not that +the reason?" + +Julia blushed deeply. She was not accustomed to have her self-conceit +brought before her so plainly, and yet she was too candid not to see the +truth of what was said. + +"I do not mean to pain you," continued Miss Morton, very kindly. +"Perhaps it is not my place to interfere; but you promised not to be +annoyed; and you must forgive me if I remind you, that in the sight of +God the most trifling act of self-denial from a really high motive--I +mean, of course, from a wish to please Him--is infinitely more valuable +than the cleverest thing that has ever been said or done since the world +was made." + +Still Julia was silent--her cleverness did not at that moment come to +her aid; and after gazing attentively upon the fire, playing with the +ornaments on the mantelpiece, and turning over the leaves of one or two +books, she found herself so very uncomfortable, that, hastily exclaiming +she must go and look for her sister, she left Amy and Miss Morton alone. + +"Are you vexed?" asked Amy, as soon as the door was closed. "You look +so." + +"I am rather," said Miss Morton, "for I am half afraid I have done more +harm than good; and I am hurt especially about Miss Cunningham, because +I know it was very disagreeable to her to have any lesson at all, and +such a one as this will make her dislike it more than ever." + +"But not you," observed Amy; "she cannot blame you for another person's +rudeness." + +"Only it is difficult," said Miss Morton, "to feel kindly towards those +who have been the cause of placing us in awkward situations; and I do +not suspect I have ever been a favourite with Miss Cunningham." + +"I wish Miss Stanley had kept to her own room this morning," said Amy. +"I am afraid she will spoil our pleasure all day." + +"Oh no! she will soon forget it all; and I do not think she will take +Miss Cunningham's anger much to heart; it will rather amuse her than +otherwise." + +"I should not like her to be amused at me," said Amy; "she frightens +me dreadfully. I felt just now as if I could not have ventured to speak +before her." + +"I must give you a lecture too," said Emily, smiling. "Why should you be +afraid of people merely because they are clever, and say sharp things? +It is making cleverness of as much consequence as Miss Stanley does; +besides being a dangerous feeling, and one which often prevents us from +doing our duty." + +"Ah! but," said Amy, "I cannot feel quite as you do. I always have +thought a great deal about it, and longed to be very clever myself, and +for every one to admire me, and look up to me." + +"And I have done the same," said Emily. "I will not say that I never do +so now; but it is very contrary to what the Bible commands." + +"Do you really think so?" inquired Amy, looking much distressed. "Yet it +seems so natural; and cleverness is different from riches, or rank, or +anything of that kind." + +"Can you recollect any part of the Bible in which it is said that God +takes pleasure in it?" asked Emily. + +"There is a great deal about wisdom in the Book of Proverbs," answered +Amy; "and it is said to be better than anything else." + +"Yes," replied Emily; "but then, you know, we ought to compare different +parts of the Bible together, if we wish to know its real meaning. And +there is a verse at the end of a very beautiful chapter in the Book of +Job, which tells us what wisdom really is. Perhaps you may remember it. +It says, 'The fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil +is understanding.' Now, a poor man, who cannot even read, may have just +as much of this wisdom as the most learned man that ever lived." + +"Then," said Amy, "there is no use in trying to learn things." + +"Indeed," replied Miss Morton, "there is. It is our duty to improve the +understanding God has given us to the utmost, by exercising it in every +right way. Our Saviour's parable of the talents gives a most impressive +warning to us on this point, though talents there mean likewise +advantages of every kind; and besides, the more we know, the more we are +able to teach others." + +Amy still looked unconvinced, and Emily continued, "You will see what +I mean, if you will think of being clever in the same way as you do of +being rich. We all know that it is the way of the world to value people +for their money, but common sense tells us that it is very absurd; +and yet no one would deny that riches may be made of great use to our +fellow-creatures, though they do not make us in the smallest degree +more acceptable in the eye of God. I wish I could explain myself more +clearly. Perhaps, if I were very clever, I might be able to do it; and +then, you see, my knowledge would be of use to you, though it would not +make me either better or worse in myself." + +"I think that is clever," said Amy, laughing; "for I can understand you +much better now, though I am afraid I shall never learn to think rightly +about everything." + +"You must not say that," said Emily. "You know you are not very old yet; +and if we thought about everything rightly at the beginning of our life, +it would not be necessary for us to have so many years to learn in. As +long as we are not standing still, we may be tolerably happy, though we +do happen to blunder in the dark way." + +"I think I am always blundering," said Amy; "at least I know I am always +wishing for something which mamma and you tell me I ought not to +wish for. But I think it is because I hear Dora and Margaret and Miss +Cunningham talking so much about such things. You know Dora makes a +great deal of being clever, and Miss Cunningham is always speaking of +rank and riches, and Margaret is so pleased to be pretty. I know it is +really all nothing; but when I hear them I cannot help longing for it +all, and thinking that it must be of consequence." + +"Yes," said Miss Morton, "it is very natural. This place is to you just +what the world is to grown-up people." + +"I remember," replied Amy, "thinking something just like that the very +first night my cousins came; but I did not imagine," she added, "that +there would be any one in my world like you." + +Miss Morton could have answered, with truth, that she had never expected +to meet with any one like Amy at Emmerton; but at that moment Dora and +the rest of the party entered, and Miss Cunningham with them. + +"Must you go?" whispered Amy, as Miss Morton prepared to leave the room. + +Emily replied that she had letters to write, which would keep her +engaged the whole morning; and Amy scarcely wished her to remain, when +she observed the expression of Miss Cunningham's face, and saw that her +good-humour was by no means restored. + +It was not indeed a very easy task at any time; and Julia Stanley seemed +resolved that this morning it should be more difficult than ever. +She had given up the idea of confessing her fault, and trying to make +amends, because she could not have her own way as to the manner in which +it should be done, and had become angry with herself, and, as a natural +consequence, angry with every one else. There was, in fact, a regular +feud between her and Miss Cunningham; and Dora soon saw that to preserve +peace would be a difficult matter. Julia's manner was more sharp and +abrupt than ever, as she took every opportunity of repeating Miss +Cunningham's words, and turning them into ridicule; while Miss +Cunningham, on her part, endeavoured to make sneers and scornful looks +as effective as words. Amy was very uncomfortable, and once or twice +tried to divert their attention by talking to the younger children, +and making them bring their dolls and playthings to the table where the +elder girls were working. But her efforts were in vain; and, as a last +hope, she ventured to suggest to Dora, that perhaps it might be pleasant +if some one were to read out. The idea was the greatest possible relief +to poor Dora, for all her antipathy to strange school-girls, and three +days' visits, was returning in full force; and having asked, as a +matter of form, whether any one would dislike it, she quickly produced +half-a-dozen volumes to choose from. + +The choice being settled, the next question to be decided was, who +should read. There was a general burst of excuses as the inquiry +was made. Every one would read, only there was a piece of work to be +finished, or a drawing to be begun, or some beads to be threaded, or +they were so soon tired that it was quite useless to begin, or they were +suffering from a cold and hoarseness, which would make it disagreeable +for the rest to listen. Dora put down the book on the table, considering +it, as a matter of course, that she should not be obliged to do it. She +had seldom been called on to give up her own will for others, but had +always ordered and managed, and told others their duty; and when this +was done, her part was considered finished. So, in the present instance, +she had decided it would be a good thing to read, and had chosen the +book, and supposed that some one would easily be found willing to amuse +the rest. But Dora was mistaken. + +The only person who had not excused herself was the only one whose +excuse would have been really a good one. Poor Amy's heart beat fast as +she thought that it might fall to her lot to read. She had never read +aloud to any one but her mamma; and she was the youngest of the party; +and, moreover, she knew that in the book which had been fixed on +there were some long French quotations, which must be pronounced or +translated, either alternative being equally disagreeable. "I wish I +could read," she whispered to Margaret, who was sitting next her; "but I +am so frightened." + +"Oh! it does not signify," answered Margaret, aloud; "there is no +occasion for us to trouble ourselves--Emily Morton will come directly; I +have known her go on for hours when mamma has been ill." + +"Yes," said Dora, feeling slightly uncomfortable as she spoke, "she is +much more used to it than we are. Rose, go and tell Emily Morton that +we should be very much obliged if she could read out to us this morning +whilst we are working." + +The message was more civil than it would have been some months before; +and Dora's conscience was rather relieved; but to Amy it seemed only +selfish and thoughtless. + +"Miss Morton told me she had letters to write, Dora," she said, timidly. +"Don't you think reading to us would be an interruption to her?" + +"Not more than giving us our usual lessons," observed Margaret; "it is +only occupying the same time in a different way." + +"But," replied Amy, "indeed I think the letters are of consequence; and +the post goes out so early." + +"Well, then, Amy," said Dora, rather sharply, "if you will insist upon +our not sending for Emily, you must read yourself, for you are the only +one of us all who is not busy." + +Amy was busy finishing a purse to be given to Mrs Walton on her +birthday; but anything was better than to allow Miss Morton's time to +be intruded on; and although the slight trembling of her hand, and the +bright crimson spot on her cheek, showed the greatness of the effort, +she did manage to begin, and even to get through the first long French +sentence without breaking down. Dora listened to the words, but they +made very little impression; she was thinking all the time of her own +selfishness, and how easy it was to make good resolutions, and how very +difficult to keep them. It was only on that very day that she had been +reflecting on her conduct to Miss Morton, and had determined to be more +thoughtful for her comfort; and now, on the first temptation, she had +weakly given way, and, but for Amy, would have sacrificed Miss Morton's +whole morning merely to gratify her own fancy for work. Happily, Dora's +was not a mind to be contented with the bare acknowledgment of having +been wrong; it was too active and energetic to rest in fruitless wishes +for amendment; and now, finding that Amy's voice was becoming weak, and +that she read with difficulty, she threw down her work just as she was +about to put the finishing stroke to it, and offered to read instead. +It was but a trifling action, but it made Dora feel happier than she had +been before; it proved to herself that she was in earnest; and when she +had made one endeavour it was much easier to make another. Her manner +grew softer, her thoughtfulness for others increased; and before the +morning was over, she had even taken Miss Cunningham's part against +Julia Stanley, when she had made an observation on the book they were +reading, and had given up her seat near the fire, fearing she might be +cold. The book was so interesting, and the oriel-room so comfortable, +that no one thought of the time or the weather; and when Mrs Harrington +made her appearance with Mrs Danvers, and begged them all to go out +before dinner that they might not lose the best part of the day, there +was a slight murmur of disapprobation. Mrs Danvers sympathised, and +pitied, and declared the room looked so warm and cheerful, it was almost +impossible to leave it; now she had once found her way there, she should +be a frequent visitor. + +"I always think young people manage best when left to themselves," said +Mrs Harrington. "Dora, you must be quick, and go out; and as many of +your young friends as choose to go with you had better get ready also." + +The sending them out did not seem like leaving them to themselves; but +Mrs Harrington's manner prevented almost every one from differing from +her; and Mrs Danvers, who was rather young, and soon awed, said nothing, +but began fondling her little girls, and proposing to stay and play with +them if they liked it better than going for a walk; whilst Dora, who +knew the exact meaning of every word and tone of her mother's, hastily +put up her work, and prepared to obey. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + + +"Margaret," said Miss Cunningham, who had joined the walking party +merely from not knowing how to employ her time satisfactorily while they +were away, "I want you to talk to me a little; never mind the rest, they +will manage very well; and really what I have to say is of consequence." + +"Is it, indeed?" replied Margaret, who dearly loved a little mystery; +"but you must be quick, for Dora said so much to me, before we came out, +about being attentive to them all." + +"It cannot signify what Dora says; she is not to rule every one; at +least I am sure she shall not rule me. But what I wanted to say to you +was about London. I talked to papa this morning; and he says, after all, +he thinks there is a chance of your going." + +"Oh no! he cannot really mean it; mamma was so very positive the other +night." + +"Yes, I know that; but it is something about Mrs Herbert which makes the +difference. Your papa thinks her very ill, and he wants to have advice +for her; and if Dr Bailey does not give a good report, he will try and +persuade her to go, and then all the family are to go too." + +"Well, that would be delightful; but the time would not suit you--it +will be so soon." + +"But if you were to go at once, papa would not object to being there +earlier himself, for he is determined that we shall have lessons +together." + +"So then it is all settled," said Margaret, her eyes sparkling with +pleasure. "To be sure, I am sorry for poor Amy, but I daresay there is +nothing very much the matter; and with a London physician Aunt Herbert +will soon get well." + +"I don't think it is settled at all," answered Miss Cunningham; "for +I can tell you one thing, Margaret,--I never will go to London to be +pestered by Miss Morton; she must stay at home, or I must. If you had +only seen how she behaved this morning; she found as much fault with my +playing as if I had been a mere baby." + +"But," said Margaret, looking much perplexed, "there is no help for it; +she must go with us; only it does not follow that you should learn of +her." + +"It does follow, though," replied Miss Cunningham, angrily; "how can +you be so stupid, Margaret? I have told you a hundred and fifty times +before, that if papa once has a thing in his head, not all the world can +drive it out; and he said this morning that I should have lessons of her +besides the other masters; but I won't--no, that I won't." + +"That is right," said Margaret; "if you make a fuss about it, you will +be sure to have your own way." + +"But my way is to stay at home; I can do that if I choose, for mamma +will like it; but I will never go near London to be laughed at by rude, +vulgar people as I was this morning; so you may manage as well as you +can without me." + +Miss Cunningham walked on a few steps with her head raised, rapidly +twisting the bag she held in her hand--a sure sign that she was working +herself into a passion. Margaret followed, appearing very downcast, and +feeling that Lucy's determination would prove the destruction of all her +bright castles in the air. London, with only her own family, would +be nearly as bad as Emmerton. "What do you wish me to do?" she said, +anxiously. + +"Nothing," was the reply; "but make up your mind to go without me, for I +am quite determined; I can be as obstinate as papa, sometimes." + +This could not be doubted; but it was no satisfaction to Margaret. "It +is very unkind of you, Lucy," she said. "You sometimes tell me you love +me; and yet you don't seem inclined to put yourself in the least out of +your way to please me. You know very well that there will be no pleasure +in London if you are away; we shall go nowhere and see nothing." + +"Yes, I know it; but it can't be helped." + +"That odious Emily Morton!" exclaimed Margaret; "she has been a torment +in one way or another ever since she entered the house." + +"And she will never be anything else," said Miss Cunningham; "I wish you +joy of her." + +"But is there nothing to be done?" again asked Margaret, whilst several +most impracticable plans passed quickly through her mind, all having for +their object the removal of this serious obstacle to her enjoyment. + +"I can see nothing," was the answer; "unless you can make her go and see +her friends whilst you are absent." + +"I don't think she has any friends," said Margaret, "except an aunt, who +is abroad; that is, she has never asked to go away, so I suppose she has +no place to go to." + +"That makes the case a great deal worse. If she has no friends you may +depend upon it you will be burdened with her for ever." + +"I believe, though," said Margaret, "there is a Mrs or Miss Somebody, +who was her governess once, who could keep her for some time; but then, +you know, it is no use talking about it; there is no chance of our being +able to do anything." + +"The loss will be more yours than mine," replied Miss Cunningham; "it +will be just the same to me next year; but you will miss everything." + +"Yes, everything," sighed Margaret. + +"You would have gone to the opera, certainly; papa would have taken you +there, and you would have been out half the day shopping, and driving in +the parks; and you would have seen everything, and bought anything you +wished,--for, of course, your papa would have given you plenty of money +to do as you liked with; and then my aunt would have taken us to some +delightful parties. But it is not worth while to think about it now; +because if you go for your aunt's illness, and have no one to take you +about, you will be at your lessons half the day, and staying at home +with her the other half; and there will be nothing to be seen, because +you must choose such a very quiet part of the town for an invalid." + +"Oh Lucy!" said Margaret, "I wish you would not talk so. It is very +unkind; for you know it will be all your doing." + +"My doing! No, indeed I can't help it. Get rid of Miss Morton, and I +will go directly. And now I have said all I wished, and so I think I +shall turn back, for you told me you wanted to go to Dora; and really I +have had quite enough of those school-girls this morning." + +Margaret did not press her to stay, for she was becoming very indignant; +but neither was she inclined to make any exertions to be agreeable; and, +soon persuading herself that the walking party had advanced too far for +her to overtake them, she rather sulkily turned back and followed Miss +Cunningham, keeping, however, at a convenient distance, that she might +be able to think over the conversation, and find some arguments which +should induce her to break the resolution she had formed. + +Amy in the meantime, enjoyed her walk with her companions in perfect +unconsciousness that anything was near to disturb her happiness. She +laughed at Julia Stanley's strange stories, till she forgot by degrees +she had been afraid of her; and although every tree and stone were +familiar, there was a pleasure in pointing out to strangers all the +beauties of the grounds, even in their wintry dress; and good-humour +being proverbially infectious, the whole party returned home in all the +better spirits that they had been spared Miss Cunningham's sulkiness +and pride. The first news, however, that awaited Amy upon entering the +house, was the information from Susan Reynolds that Mr Harrington had +prevailed on her mamma to see Dr Bailey. Amy started and turned pale, +and anxiously asked if her mamma were very ill. + +"Oh, dear! no," replied Susan, frightened in her turn; "but I thought +you would be glad to know your mamma was going to see a doctor, because +then, perhaps, she will get strong again." + +"Yes; but she must be worse, I am sure," said Amy; "she never would send +for any one unless she were very ill indeed." And without waiting to +hear more, she hastily ran to Mrs Herbert's room. But her fears were +soon calmed. Mrs Herbert was looking much the same as usual, and seemed +in tolerable spirits, and quite laughed at Amy's alarm. + +"I have only consented to see Dr Bailey," she said, "just to satisfy +your uncle; and it was very foolish in any one to frighten you, my dear +child, so unnecessarily; so now go to your dinner, and forget me, and be +happy." + +"That would not be the way to be happy, mamma. I never enjoy anything +till I have remembered that I can tell you about it. But are you sure +you are not very ill?" + +"I am quite sure that I am not feeling worse than I have done for the +last six weeks," replied Mrs Herbert; "and I suspect the sight of your +papa's handwriting would do more towards my cure than all the physicians +in the world. I hoped to have heard from him by the same mail which +brought the news of peace." + +"Perhaps," said Amy, "the letter will come to-morrow." + +"Oh no!" replied Mrs Herbert; "it is scarcely possible--I must be +contented to wait. But you had better go now, Amy--there is the second +dinner-bell." + +Amy left the room much relieved. A natural buoyancy of disposition +seldom allowed her to be unnecessarily anxious. She was too young +to form any judgment of her own respecting the state of her mother's +health; and Mrs Herbert's assurances outweighed the passing influence of +her uncle's misgivings. She did, however, look oftener than ever to the +door during the evening, with a vague expectation that her father would +appear: and she persuaded Mr Cunningham to repeat again to her all he +had before said of the probability of his arrival at any moment; while +Mrs Herbert, also, listened eagerly, and laughed at herself for being as +fanciful as Amy, though her heart beat quickly at the slightest unusual +sound in the house. + +"There is the second day happily over, Amy," said Dora, as she bade +her good night: "and now I have no more fears; we shall do very well +to-morrow. Frank has been proposing for us all to assist in ornamenting +the outer saloon for the conjurer, and Mary Warner can show us how to +make artificial flowers--so we shall have plenty of occupation; and in +the evening I really think we may make up a quadrille. You know there +are several people coming besides; and Emily Morton will play as long +as we like. The only thing that worries me is about Julia and Lucy +Cunningham; they are exactly like cat and dog." + +"I daresay we can manage to keep them separate," replied Amy. "If +Margaret will take care of Miss Cunningham, there will be no difficulty +at all." + +"But they will get together," said Dora. "And really, though I do +cordially dislike--not hate, remember, Amy,--though I do cordially +dislike Lucy Cunningham, yet I must say Julia behaves infamously; +she has been snapping at her the whole evening; and, moreover, almost +laughed at Mr Cunningham to her face." + +"Oh no!" exclaimed Amy, "she could not do that; it would be so +dreadfully unfeeling." + +"But she could, though; she could do that or anything else that came to +her head. You know she sets up for being clever, and thinks she may have +everything her own way. I wish you would talk to her, Amy." + +"Me!" repeated Amy, in a tone of the utmost surprise; "you are laughing +at me, Dora." + +"No, indeed, I never was more in earnest in my life. I heard her say +to-day she thought you knew more of what was right than any one else in +the house, and had more courage too." + +Amy was silent from astonishment. + +"It is your quiet way, Amy, which strikes her so, I am sure," continued +Dora; "you never make a fuss about being good-natured, and yet you +always do everything for everybody; and I am sure they must all see +it, and love it too--at least if they are like me. There is always a +difficulty when any one else is goodnatured, they seem to have achieved +something." + +"You know, Dora," replied Amy, gravely, "that I always ask you not to +say such things to me, but you will forget. I don't mean that I don't +like it, because I do very much; but mamma would rather I should not +hear them, and so it vexes me." + +"Vex you!" exclaimed Dora, earnestly; "if you knew half I would do +to please you, Amy, you would not talk of my vexing you, at least not +willingly; I never could have believed, before I came to Emmerton, how +painful I should find it to be unkind to any one; but now I can never +forgive myself when I have been cross to you." + +The tears rose to Amy's eyes as she wished her cousin good night and +hastened away; but the expression of Dora's affection amply rewarded her +for any impatience she had repressed, or self-denial she had practised. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + + +Dora was quite satisfied the next morning when she saw the whole party +engaged in decorating the saloon for the evening's amusement. Frank +and his companions, indeed, were at times rather more troublesome than +useful, from the very zeal with which they engaged in the work. They +would put up boughs of evergreens where they were not needed, and insist +on driving in a superabundance of nails; and they would also strew the +floor with enormous branches, which only served as stumbling-blocks for +every one who moved. But these were minor evils; all talked fast, and +laughed merrily, and looked happy; and those who have ever had the +responsibility of entertaining others, must be aware that no symptoms +can be so encouraging as these. Miss Cunningham might perhaps have been +considered an exception; for there was something like a sneer on her +lip, as she seated herself by Margaret's side at the table that had been +placed for the flower-makers, and began turning over the collection of +roses, tulips, and lilies of every form and colour, which far out-shone +in variety any that nature has produced. "I should like to know," she +said, "what is the use of your all wasting time in this way? What will +be the good of it when you have done?" + +"It is for our pleasure," replied Julia Stanley, sharply; "and as to +wasting time, why it is better than doing nothing." + +"Such common, vulgar work, too," continued Miss Cunningham; "and all for +a conjurer." + +"Who said we were working for the conjurer?" asked Julia. "I said we +were working to please ourselves." + +"Then it seems to me very absurd to find pleasure in such nonsense," +said Miss Cunningham. + +"That is as people think; I see no difference between cutting out +flowers and threading beads, which I think you were doing all yesterday; +and if you do not like the work, you need not look at it." + +"I am sure I do not want to look at that or the conjurer, or anything +else," said Miss Cunningham; "tricks are far too vulgar to please me." + +"But what do you mean by vulgar?" asked Dora. + +"Vulgar?--why vulgar means--every one knows what it means." + +"No," said Mary Warner, in her quick, decided tone; "every one does not +know what it means, because no two people in the world think quite alike +about it." + +"Dear me! how silly you are!" exclaimed Miss Cunningham; +"vulgar?--vulgar means common, I suppose." + +"Then the conjurer is not vulgar, because his tricks are uncommon," said +Julia. + +Miss Cunningham bit her lips and was silent; and Amy, who was becoming +interested in the discussion, turned to Miss Morton, who had just +entered the room, and asked her to tell them what things she thought +were vulgar. + +"What a request!" said Julia; "Miss Morton might go on all day, and +she would not be able to answer it. You have not been taught to ask +questions, that is quite clear." + +Poor Amy looked confused, and said, timidly, that she thought she had +expressed herself badly. + +"I know what you mean, though," replied Miss Morton, who had of late +ventured more openly to express her opinions, especially when called +forth by Amy; "I don't think anything vulgar in itself, but only when it +is not befitting the rank and station of the person concerned." + +Miss Cunningham opened her eyes widely, and looked as if she would +willingly have understood; and Amy begged Miss Morton to explain herself +more clearly. + +"Conjuring tricks," she asked, "are they vulgar?" + +Miss Morton smiled. "I hope," she said, "you are not growing too proud +to be amused; why should such a notion enter your head?" + +"Miss Cunningham thinks them so," replied Amy. + +"If Miss Cunningham were to exhibit them herself to any people that +might choose to come and look at them," answered Miss Morton, "I should +have reason to think her vulgar; but the poor conjurer is a common +person who gains his livelihood by his ingenuity. There can be nothing +more vulgar in his exhibition of tricks (if they are proper ones, I +mean), than in a carpenter's making a table, or a tailor's making a +coat." + +"Really," exclaimed Miss Cunningham, "you have most extraordinary ideas. +I exhibit conjuring tricks, indeed? I wonder how the notion could ever +have entered your head." + +"It is strange," said Julia Stanley, quietly: "conjurers are generally +clever." + +Miss Cunningham did not immediately perceive what was intended, but +Hester did, and in her endeavour to be polite in contrast to her sister, +contrived to make the meaning perfectly clear. "I do not see why +you should think that, Julia," she said, "of course a person of Miss +Cunningham's rank would never do anything of the kind, but it is wrong +to say she could not do it." + +"No one said so, of course," exclaimed Miss Cunningham. + +"Oh dear! no," replied Julia; "all that I said was, that conjurers were +clever." + +Amy looked at Miss Cunningham, and saw that for once in her life she +understood; and anxious if possible to preserve peace, she returned +again to the subject of vulgarity; saying she wished she could +comprehend it better. + +"You will comprehend it very well when you are older and have seen +more of the world," replied Emily; "but I think now if you observe what +things strike you as vulgar in persons, you will find they are always +those which arise from a wish to be thought richer or cleverer, or +higher in rank than they really are, or else from their having the +manners and habits of a class who are inferior to themselves. Bad +grammar is very natural in a labouring man, and very vulgar in a +nobleman; a splendid dress is very proper for a queen, and very vulgar +for the wife of a tradesman. All persons who go out of their station, +or pretend to be what they are not, must be vulgar, whether they are +princes or peasants. You often hear of persons of no education, who have +made great fortunes from a very low beginning, trying to vie with those +born to rank and riches, and then they are laughed at as vulgar. If they +had kept to their own station, they might have had precisely the same +manners; but they would have escaped ridicule, because then there would +have been no pretence about them." + +"But it is in little things that I am puzzled," said Amy. "Are persons +vulgar who make pies and puddings, and mend their own clothes?" + +"To be sure they are, Amy," said Frank, who had great notions of having +every one belonging to him very refined and superior; "I hope you never +intend to do such things, or you had better set up a dame-school at +once." + +"But do you think so, too?" asked Amy, looking earnestly at Miss Morton. + +"No! indeed, I do not," replied Emily; "I think the more we know of +common, useful things, the better, as long as we are not ashamed of +them. It is the doing them in private, and pretending to be ignorant of +them in public, which constitutes the vulgarity." + +"I am always afraid of not knowing what I ought to do when I am with +people," said Amy, "and I should be so sorry to do vulgar things." + +Miss Morton smiled, as she looked at Amy's sweet face, and listened to +her peculiarly ladylike pronunciation, and thought how impossible it +would be for her to appear anything but a lady. + +"Oh!" said Miss Cunningham, "it is quite out of the question for people +who live always in the country to understand what things are proper and +fashionable, and what are not. I should never have known myself if my +aunt had not told me; and of course she knows, because she goes out +constantly in London." + +"Really," said Julia, satirically, "that quite surprises me; but then I +am very ignorant, I have never even been in London." + +"Do you think I shall ever learn to be fashionable?" asked Amy of Miss +Morton. + +"I hope not," said Emily, regardless of Miss Cunningham's contemptuous +smile. + +"Why?" asked Margaret, "do you not wish her to be ladylike?" + +"Yes," replied Emily; "but it does not follow that to be ladylike it is +necessary to be fashionable. A fashionable manner is a manner put on; +a really ladylike manner arises from a really ladylike mind--one is +sincere, the other generally is affected; and when persons strive to be +fashionable, they often end in becoming vulgar." + +"Then what do you think we should try to be?" asked Mary Warner. + +"Nothing," replied Emily; "those who possess a cultivated mind, and a +gentle, humble disposition, need not try to be anything; they may be +quite sure of not being vulgar; and as for being elegant and graceful, +they will never become so by thinking about it; the very endeavour must +make them constrained." + +"But I should so like to be elegant," said Margaret. + +"So would many others," answered Emily; "and they would like to be +beautiful too, but they cannot make themselves so. Elegance is a gift as +much as beauty." + +A conscious smile passed over Margaret's countenance; she felt that one +gift at least she possessed, and the sight of Miss Cunningham's plain +face was more agreeable to her than ever; she was sure it must be such a +contrast to her own. + +"Then," said Mary Warner, "you would not advise any person to imitate +the manners of another?" + +"No," replied Emily; "because persons' manners ought to suit with their +minds; and as all persons have different minds, so they must, to a +certain degree, have different manners. Manners should be the veil +through which the mind is seen, not the covering by which it is hidden." + +"Come, Frank!" exclaimed Henry Dornford, who was tired of having to +labour alone; "do leave all the young ladies to discuss their manners by +themselves; it can be nothing to you, and I want you dreadfully." + +"Coming, coming," said Frank, hastily, "only I must say one thing, that +I know I can see some persons' minds in their manners quite plainly. +Yours, Dora, for instance; any one might see you are as proud as a queen +by the way you march into a room." + +"Oh Frank!" half whispered Amy, as she saw the angry flush on Dora's +check, "do not say such things as that; you have vexed Dora, I am sure." + +"I did not mean any harm," said Frank, "only it is a truth; now I will +just ask every one, don't you all think I am right?" + +Poor Dora's dignity was shocked beyond expression at the idea of this +public criticism; but she tried to laugh as her only resource. Every one +looked and felt awkward; and Frank, who had spoken thoughtlessly from +the impulse of the moment, wished his words unsaid. Happily Henry +Dornford broke the silence by calling again to him to leave them; and +Frank this time had no wish for any more last words. Dora strove to +recover her equanimity, but in vain; she fancied every one must be +thinking of and judging her, and she knew that what Frank had said was +true. Perhaps, if he had expressed himself differently, her annoyance +might have been less; for she had always imagined it dignified and +suitable to her position to have rather proud manners--it kept people +at a distance, and made them recollect who she was, and she fancied that +pride and dignity must go together. But to hear her manners discussed +in her presence by school-girls and school-boys, was a very different +thing; and after a few efforts to appear unconcerned, she left the party +to themselves, and retired to her own room. Amy saw by her countenance +what was passing in her mind; but she did not like to follow her, +for she knew there were times when pity and sympathy would be more +distasteful to Dora than anything. When her cousin was unhappy, Amy +had no hesitation in endeavouring to comfort her; but when she had done +wrong, it would have seemed interfering improperly to take any notice of +it, for Amy never forgot that Dora was her superior in age, and in the +knowledge of many things she had acquired by being the eldest of the +family, and by having been brought forward far beyond her years. + +Dora's absence was not much regretted, and the work went on so quickly +and merrily, that the sound of the dinner-bell was pronounced by all +to be very unwelcome; but dinner was quickly ended, and Henry Dornford +again summoned them to put the finishing stroke to the whole, and to say +if anything more were needed. The question went round in rotation; +and, being a little tired, they felt no inclination to suggest further +improvements. But Amy, perceiving that Dora was not there, immediately +proposed that her opinion should be asked. + +"Oh, nonsense!" exclaimed Margaret. "What will it signify what Dora +says? We cannot all set to work again to please her. Why will you always +interfere, Amy?" + +"I did not mean to interfere indeed, Margaret," replied Amy; "but you +know Dora never likes anything to be decided without her, and she has +been the chief manager of this." + +"She is the chief manager of everything, I think," said Miss Cunningham; +"at least, she would be if she could." + +"But she is the eldest," said Amy. + +"She is not so old as I am; and if she were, I do not see why we are all +to give up our taste to hers. If she wants to give an opinion, why does +she go away?" + +"She did not know that it would be all finished so soon, perhaps," +answered Amy. "I wish I might go and tell her." + +"There is no reason against it that I can see," said Frank; "only she +must not expect us to begin working again, merely for her pleasure." + +"I daresay," replied Amy, "she will think it does very nicely: but I am +sure she would like to be asked, and it would be a pity she should be +vexed twice in the day." + +Frank's good-nature immediately took the hint; and without saying +another word, he ran off himself to find Dora, and, if possible to +soothe her feelings by making her the principal person in the business. +A few months before, Dora's irritation would have continued a whole day +after such a severe trial to her temper, and solitude would only have +increased her annoyance, by giving her more time to reflect upon its +cause; but since she had known Amy, and could contrast her gentleness, +meekness, and constant cheerfulness, with things in her own character +so much the reverse, she had for the first time felt her defects, and +longed to correct them; and having earnestly and resolutely determined +to realise those longings by putting in practice the rules she had +laid down to aid her improvement, she was now beginning to feel all the +benefit of them; for she had learned, as the first step, to distrust her +own powers, and to ask for a higher strength. Happily Dora was gifted +with an energy of mind which prevented her from delaying her duty when +once it had been clearly pointed out; and the time spent by herself had +been so well employed, that all traces of irritation had vanished even +before dinner, very much to Frank's and Margaret's astonishment: and +now, with apparently the most perfect good-humour, she gave her opinion +as to what was required to complete the adornment of the saloon; and +then, finding that no one was disposed to agree with her, relinquished +her own idea, and declared herself willing to abide by the decision of +the majority. + +Amy noticed the change, and asked herself whether she could have been +equally good-humoured; and Margaret remarked it also, in so loud a +whisper to Miss Cunningham, that it was impossible for Dora not to +overhear it. The heightened colour told in an instant that she did; but +she had conquered her temper once that day, and the second trial was +comparatively easy; it required but one moment of recollection, and a +slight effort at self-control, and to all appearance she was perfectly +unruffled. + +The party separated almost immediately afterwards; and Amy went to her +mother's room. Mr Harrington was with her, and they were talking, as +usual, of India, Colonel Herbert, and the probability of hearing from +him. The same things had been repeated again and again; but this subject +was now the only one in which Mrs Herbert could take any real interest, +and her brother's affection prevented him from ever feeling it +wearisome. + +"And do you really think, then," were the words Amy heard as she entered +the room, "do you really think that it is possible there may be a letter +by the last mail?" + +"Only just possible," replied Mr Harrington, "as this place is so +retired, and my own letters sometimes go astray; but you must feel that +such a hope as that is a mere shadow. I earnestly wish you could make up +your mind not to think about it. The anxiety is doing you more harm than +you can imagine." + +"Dr Bailey will be here this evening, I suppose," said Mrs Herbert, with +a smile; "and then he will set your mind at ease about me. I have felt +so much better since I have had something like a certain hope to build +on, that I have very little fear for myself now." + +"But the suspense," replied Mr Harrington; "no mind can bear that, and +the constant dwelling upon one subject. If you could only divert your +thoughts, I am sure it will help you." + +"I do try, indeed I do," said Mrs Herbert; "for your sake, and for +Amy's, I make the effort continually; but the one idea will remain; and +even when I believe I am interested in what I am doing, I find that the +slightest unusual sound, or the sudden opening of a door, will make my +heart beat violently, and bring on the faintness to which I am subject, +so as completely to take away my strength. But I am not going to +give way to this, you may be quite sure," she added, seeing that Mr +Harrington looked very grave; "and to prove it, I intend to make Amy +tell me all she has been doing this afternoon." + +Mr Harrington went away, and Amy did her utmost to amuse her mother, and +found so much to relate, that she had scarcely time to dress before she +was summoned to tea. The conjurer was expected to arrive about seven +o'clock, and Dora had arranged everything satisfactorily to her own +wishes, with Mrs Harrington's consent, for their having a dance when the +exhibition was over; and even Miss Cunningham condescended to say, on +hearing it, that she expected to have a very pleasant evening. + +Amy rather shrank from the idea of dancing before strangers, and wished +that the few persons invited for the evening would find some reason for +staying at home; but her anticipations of pleasure were still great, and +when the party adjourned to the saloon to await the conjurer's arrival, +there were few whose eyes sparkled as brightly, or whose laugh was as +joyous as hers. + +"Who has ever seen a conjurer?" asked Henry Dornford, as they stood +round the fire. + +Mary Warner was the only one who had been so fortunate, and the +exhibition she had witnessed was but an indifferent one. + +"Well, then!" exclaimed Henry, proud of his superior knowledge, "I +advise you all to take care of yourselves, or you will lose your +senses." + +"Why should we do that?" said Julia. "Is the conjurer going to steal +them? I shall congratulate him on the treasure he will get from some of +us at least;" and she looked round to see if Miss Cunningham were near; +but she had not yet made her appearance, and Julia's satire was lost. + +"I really am afraid for the little ones," continued Henry. "Conjurers +do such wonderful things, and they generally dress themselves up in an +outlandish way; and the one I saw talked a sort of double Dutch, just to +make us think that he came from Timbuctoo." + +"If that be a qualification for a conjurer," said Julia, "we had better +get poor Mr Cunningham to exhibit. I defy any one to know what part of +the world he comes from." + +"So he would make a capital conjurer," said Henry Dornford; "and he +would not want a mask either; for he can twist his face into a hundred +and twenty different shapes in a minute. Just look, I am sure I can do +it exactly like him." + +"Ah: but can you talk too?" said Julia: "it is nothing without the +stammering and stuttering." + +"But he does not stammer," observed Mary Warner. "Never mind," said +Henry. "Listen--yet wait--I will go out of the room, and come in again +in his blind way, with a glass to my eye, and then speak, and you shall +tell me if you would have known us apart." + +Julia laughed heartily at the idea, and Henry was just going when he was +stopped by Amy. + +"I wish," she said, timidly, "you would not do it, because"---- and here +she paused. + +"Because what?" asked Henry, in great astonishment. + +"Because," said Amy, more firmly, "it is not quite right, is it, to +laugh at people and mimic them?" + +"Not right to laugh at people!" exclaimed Henry; "what a girl's notion +that is!--why, half the fun in the world would be gone if we were not +allowed to laugh at any one." + +"I don't think that makes it right," said Amy. + +"Oh nonsense, nonsense!" was the reply. "I will soon teach you to +think differently from that; now, just look at me, and see if it is not +capital sport." + +Henry ran to the door, and then re-entered, with a manner and voice so +exactly like Mr Cunningham's, that all burst into aloud laugh;--all, +except Amy, who tried very hard to prevent even a smile; and when +she found this was impossible, began blaming herself, and anxiously +repeating her request that Henry would not do it. + +"It is quite Mr Cunningham's misfortune," she said; "and he is so good +and kind--he has been so very kind to me." + +The peculiar sound which always preceded Mr Cunningham's sentences was +heard when Amy had spoken, and some one said "Thank you;" but it was not +Henry Dornford, for he looked completely frightened, and fixed his eyes +on the door. No one ventured to utter another word, and in the silence +retreating foot-steps were heard along the passage. + +"Do you think he heard all we were saying?" asked Henry. + +"Don't say we," replied Hester Stanley; "you know no one had anything to +do with it but yourself. Why did you not take care to shut the door?" + +"I daresay he only caught the last words," said Julia; "and if so, there +is no harm done; besides, listeners never hear any good of themselves. +It is his own fault; people who don't know how to talk should stay at +home." + +"I think it served us right," said Mary Warner. "I felt it was wrong all +the time, only it amused me so." + +"Well! there is no use in troubling ourselves about it," said Julia; "he +is neither father, brother, nor cousin to any of us, and most probably +we shall never see him again after to-morrow; so do let the matter +rest." + +Amy thought that the never seeing him again could not make any +difference in the action; but it was not her place to speak. She only +felt glad that Mr Cunningham would not consider her unfeeling and +forgetful of his kindness, and wondered at Julia's appearing so +indifferent to the thought of having given pain, for she continued +laughing and talking as before, and trying to make the others do the +same. Her efforts, however, were not quite successful; the circumstance +had cast a blank over their enjoyment, and many anxious eyes were turned +to the door to see if Mr Cunningham were likely to appear again, and +all felt relieved when the conjurer was announced, and the rest of +the company came into the room. Mr Cunningham was with them, but their +thoughts were now diverted from him, though they all remarked that he +took especial notice of Amy, and placed her by his side in the best +position for seeing everything. + +Amy was grateful for his kindness, but wished it had been differently +shown. At first she felt uneasy in her rather elevated situation, and +she dreaded very much lest he should begin talking, and especially lest +he should refer to what had passed; but this evening he was peculiarly +silent; and Amy soon forgot everything but the delight of seeing flowers +grow out of egg-shells, chickens hatched in a gentleman's hat, rings and +brooches found in the possession of every one but their right owners, +and all the other wonders which made the conjurer appear to possess some +unearthly power. She hardly wished for an explanation of them, and felt +quite vexed when she heard Henry Dornford whisper to Frank that some +of the tricks were quite nonsense--things he could do himself; while Mr +Cunningham rose in her favour when he told her that great part of the +exhibition was beyond his comprehension, and that what Henry had said +was merely a school-boy's boast. It seemed now less difficult to believe +the marvellous stones of fairies and genii which she had so often read, +and she was considering in her own mind whether Aladdin's lamp might not +actually be in existence at that moment, when the green curtain fell, +and they were again left to the realities of every-day life. There was +an exclamation of regret from all the party, with the exception of +Miss Cunningham, who said she was tired of sitting in a dark room. Even +little Rose, though she rubbed her eyes, and was almost inclined to cry +from mere weariness, begged that the funny man might come back again, or +that at least she might have one of the eggs with the pretty flowers in +it; and Amy secretly wished the same thing, though she was ashamed to +own it when she found every body laughing at Rose and promising her +sugar plums and sweetmeats to pacify her. + +Miss Cunningham was the first to follow Mrs Harrington to the +drawing-room, and to propose that they should begin dancing +immediately--a proceeding which excited considerable surprise in Amy's +mind, and induced Mr Cunningham to take his sister aside, and beg her to +remember that she was not in her own house, and therefore it could not +be her place to make suggestions. Dancing did, however, commence almost +immediately. Emily Morton was placed at the piano, and no one but Amy +appeared to consider that the trouble given required either thanks or +apology. It was her business and her duty; and whether agreeable or +not, it was a subject of trifling moment. Amy indeed had more leisure to +think about it than the rest; for the number of dancers being unequal, +she was the only one left out. Dora and Margaret had been first thought +of by every one, and Mrs Harrington had taken care of the visitors; but +Amy had no claim; she was looked upon as sufficiently at home to be +left to herself, and not of consequence enough to be noticed; and +the quadrille was formed, and the music had begun, before any one +recollected her. Not to dance was rather a relief, but not to be asked +was a neglect to which poor Amy was peculiarly alive. The occupations of +the last few days had been too varied and interesting to leave much +time for her old feelings to return, and she had fancied that they would +never trouble her again; but now, as she stood by Miss Morton's side, +the only one of the young party who was disengaged, they pressed upon +her mind most painfully. Had her mother been in the room, she would have +felt it much less; but Mrs Herbert seldom came down when so many persons +were present, and Amy in consequence was completely alone. It was the +gayest scene she had ever witnessed, and the bright lights and the +joyous music alone, would at another time have given her thorough +enjoyment; but now they were only a source of discontent, for they were +looked upon as intended for others and not for her. She watched Dora, +and thought how delightful it would be to be like her, the object of +general attention, and she listened to the whispered admiration of +Margaret's beauty, till she fancied for the moment that to be beautiful +must constitute happiness. But Amy's delusion did not last long; she +turned from her cousins to Emily Morton, and the sight of her in some +measure recalled better feelings. With beauty, elegance, and goodness, +she was as unnoticed as herself. She had no mother, no friends; her +daily life was one of wearying mortification and self-denial; and yet +Emily Morton had never been heard to utter a single murmur. She had +never been known to compare her lot with others, or to wonder why +she was deprived of the comforts enjoyed by them; and her heart was a +perpetual well-spring of quiet gratitude, which made the heaviest trials +of her life sources of improvement to herself, and of blessing to those +around her. Even at that moment, her sweet smile and cheerful voice, +as she begged to be told whether she was playing to please them, were a +lesson which Amy could not but profit by, for she knew that in Emily's +place she should have felt very differently; and she sighed, as the +thought crossed her mind how difficult it would be to imitate her. She +did, however, make the effort at once, and, when Dora approached, tried +to speak gaily and to overcome her vexation; but a second and a third +quadrille were formed, and still she was not asked to dance; and then +the tears rushed to her eyes, and she longed to steal away unobserved, +and go to her mamma for the remainder of the evening. Yet she was too +shy to venture across the room by herself, and nothing was to be done +but to sit quietly in the corner, watching the others, and trying not to +be envious of them. Mr Cunningham would willingly have done his utmost +to amuse her; but he was obliged to dance himself to make up the set, +and it was not till the termination of the third quadrille that he came +to her and began talking. Amy was getting accustomed to his voice, and +found his conversation such a relief to her loneliness, that it restored +her to a feeling of something like pleasure. She was certain also, from +his manner, that he had overheard what had passed in the saloon; for, +although his behaviour to Henry Dornford, and the rest of the party, was +exactly the same as usual, yet he was evidently more anxious to please +her than he had ever been before, and she felt his kindness peculiarly +after the disappointment she had suffered. She could not, however, quite +recover her accustomed cheerfulness even when at length she did join the +quadrille; and the enjoyment of the evening was almost lost, especially +when she thought how she had looked forward to it, and compared her +brilliant expectations with the unlooked-for reality. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + + +But there was a greater trial awaiting poor Amy's feelings, on that +evening, than any she could suffer from neglect. Tired with dancing, she +had seated herself in the most retired part of the room, and was +half hidden by the window-curtain, when Mrs Danvers and another lady +approached, and, without observing who was near, began to remark aloud +upon what was going on. At first Amy was amused; she supposed, from +their speaking so openly, that they had no wish for privacy, and all +they said was of so trifling a nature, and mentioned so good-naturedly, +that no pain could have been excited, even if it had been repeated +publicly. + +The conversation continued for some time, and Amy, feeling weary of her +position, was wishing to move, when there was a general press towards +the door near which she was standing, and which led into the library, +where refreshments had been prepared; and as she stepped aside to make +room for others to pass on, it became necessary for her to remain where +she was till they were all gone. Mrs Danvers and her friend were nearly +in the same situation, and still continued talking, as if perfectly +careless whether they were overheard or not. + +"Did you see that little girl," said Mrs Danvers, "who danced the last +quadrille with Frank Harrington?" + +"Yes," was the reply; "I had not noticed her before all the evening. Who +is she?" + +"A niece, I believe, of Mr Harrington's," said Mrs Danvers; "there +is nothing very remarkable about her, only she interests me from +circumstances." + +"What circumstances?" inquired her friend. + +"Her father is in India," answered Mrs Danvers, "and they have had no +letters for a long time; and though there has been some rumour of him +lately, and he may be returning home, it is very uncertain; and Mrs +Herbert is in such a dreadful state of anxiety in consequence, that she +is extremely ill; and if anything should happen to her, of course the +poor child will live here." + +"She will have a comfortable home, at all events," observed her +companion. + +Mrs Danvers looked grave, and replied, "It will be a very different +thing from what it is now. Mrs Harrington is so proud, and her +eldest girl so exactly like her, that it will be a state of miserable +dependence." + +"But is there no hope for Mrs Herbert?" + +"None at all, as far as I can understand. She has been getting worse and +worse for the last six months, and, in fact, I believe myself that she +is dying." + +Amy heard the last words, and it seemed as if all power of motion or +utterance had been taken from her. For months she had felt at times a +vague fear that her mother might be worse than she would acknowledge; +but the interest of passing events had quickly dispelled her +apprehension, and she had gone on till that hour without allowing +herself to imagine that it could be actually possible; and now, in one +moment, the dreadful truth had flashed upon her mind--truth at least it +seemed to her, for it had been asserted so confidently, and by persons +so much her superiors, that she could not bring herself to doubt it. Her +mother's pale face, her uncle's anxious looks, his wish that a physician +should be consulted, all returned to her remembrance, and all confirmed +Mrs Danvers' words. Her senses nearly forsook her, her head grew giddy, +the lights, the people, the music, seemed to have passed away, and +the only thing of which she was sensible was a burthen of intolerable +misery. Even tears did not come to her relief; for she was stunned by +the suddenness of the shock, and, silent and motionless, she remained +unnoticed and unthought of till the company had passed into the library; +and then, with a sudden impulse to escape from the brilliant room and +the sound of gaiety, she ran up-stairs towards her mother's chamber. +Still, however, she had sufficient self-possession to feel that she +might be wrong to venture there suddenly; and passing the room, she +continued her way along the gallery, with but one wish--that of finding +some place where she might be undiscovered. The sound of footsteps only +quickened her movements, and, almost unconscious of her actions, she +opened the first door that presented itself, and found herself alone +in the chapel. The cold light of the moon was shining full into the +building, touching with its clear rays the deep moulding of the arches +and the rich tracery of the windows, and bringing out into an unnatural +distinctness the sculptured figure of the old Baron of Emmerton, whose +still features seemed to retain, even in death, the holy, humble spirit +which, it was said, had animated them in life. At another time Amy +might have felt frightened, but the one overpowering idea in her mind +prevented the entrance of every other, and there was a quietness and +holiness in the place, which in some degree restored her to herself, for +it brought vividly before her the remembrance of Him to whom it had been +dedicated, and who at that moment she knew was watching over her. She +had, however, but a few moments for reflection, when the door opened, +and some one entered the private gallery. Amy tried to hide herself, but +Miss Morton's voice in an instant gave her ease and comfort; and, unable +to speak, she threw herself upon her neck, and burst into tears. + +"Amy! my dear, dear Amy!" exclaimed Miss Morton, "what can be the +meaning of this? Why are you here?" + +Amy only replied by repeating the word "mamma," in a tone of such deep +misery, that Miss Morton's heart for the moment misgave her. + +"What of your mamma?" she inquired. "Is she ill?" + +The question only seemed to increase Amy's distress, and Emily became +alarmed. "Will you not try to be calm for my sake?" she said; "you +cannot tell how anxious you are making me." + +"Is it true?" exclaimed Amy, almost gasping for breath; "why did you not +tell me before?" + +"What should I have told you?" said Emily, feeling completely +bewildered. "I have known nothing." + +"But mamma," continued Amy, "she is so very ill--they say she is, and +every one knows it but me;" and again her sobs became almost hysterical. + +"This is some very great mistake, dearest," said Miss Morton; "you will, +I am sure, try to calm yourself, and listen to me. Mrs Herbert is not at +all worse than usual this evening." + +"Ah! but Mrs Danvers said it," replied Amy. + +"Said what?" asked Emily. + +"She said," answered Amy, forcing herself to an unnatural composure, +"that papa, perhaps, would not come home, and that mamma was so very +ill; and she talked of my living here, and that I should be miserable: +but I should die--oh! I know I should die," she added, with a vehemence +which startled Miss Morton. "God would not let me live without them: do +you think He would?" + +The tone in which this was said was almost too much for Emily's +firmness; for the trial which Amy dreaded, she had herself endured, and +she well remembered its bitterness. "My own dear Amy," she said, "you +must listen to me now, as you have often done before: you know that +I shall speak nothing but the truth to you. Your mamma is ill from +anxiety, but there is no reason to apprehend that anything is seriously +the matter with her. Dr Bailey has been here this evening." + +"Has he?" exclaimed Amy. "Oh! why did you not tell me?" + +"Because you were engaged at the time," replied Emily, "and I had no +idea you would be so anxious. He says that there is nothing really amiss +yet, that all she requires is rest for the spirits; and he has quite +relieved Mr Harrington's mind." + +"Are you sure? are you quite sure?" asked Amy, heaving a deep sigh, as +if to free herself from the overwhelming weight which had oppressed her. + +"Yes, indeed, I am sure," replied Emily; "of course, it is not for us to +speak positively as to what is to happen--it may be the will of God to +take her, or to take any one, at any moment; but according to our human +judgment there is nothing to fear." + +"But you cannot be quite certain," said Amy, whilst the cloud, which had +partly passed away, seemed about to return; "and Mrs Danvers spoke as if +she were." + +"Mrs Danvers can know nothing of the matter," answered Emily; "she has +seen very little of your mamma since she has been here; and you must +think of what Dr Bailey says, and try to be happy for the present." + +But Amy could not be happy; she could not so easily overcome the shock +she had received; and again anxiously asked Emily whether Dr Bailey +really said that her mamma would get well. + +"He thinks and hopes she will," replied Emily; "but no one can be +certain." + +"But if she should not," said Amy, as she leant her head on Miss +Morton's shoulder, and her tears flowed afresh. + +"If she should not," replied Emily, "would you not try to think of her +happiness, even if it were your sorrow?" + +Amy tried to recover herself, but the effort was almost beyond her. "I +could not live without her," she said, in a broken voice. + +"Yes," replied Emily, "you can--we all can learn to submit to whatever +is the will of God; and we can learn to think suffering a blessing, and +to thank Him for it even more than for joy; but you will not understand +this now." + +"To live here," said Amy, following the course of her own thoughts. + +"You must not think of it," replied Emily; "God may in mercy grant you +many years of happiness in your own home; but there is no place where +He is which may not be your home. Will you endeavour to think of this, +dearest? I know it is true," she added, in a low voice, "for I have no +home." + +"Oh! if I could be like you," exclaimed Amy, earnestly, recalled for the +moment from the thought of her own sorrow. + +"Do not wish that," said Emily; "but there is One whom we must all learn +to be like, and His life was but one continued scene of suffering. We +can never have to bear what He bore." + +"I am very wicked," said Amy, "but I will try to think as you do, only +it is so hard." + +"You need not make yourself unhappy now," replied Emily, "by dwelling on +a trial which may be far off. I cannot see any great cause for anxiety, +only it is well at times to think of sorrow, even in the midst of +happiness, that we may be the better prepared to meet it." + +"I thought," said Amy, "that I should never be unhappy till I grew old." + +"And so I thought once," replied Emily. "But, Amy, before we were either +of us conscious of existence, we were both dedicated to the Saviour +who died for us, and the sign of His suffering was marked upon our +foreheads: it would be worse than weakness to shrink from following His +footsteps, because He calls us to it early." + +"And must I be miserable?" said Amy. + +"No, never," answered Emily, eagerly; "misery is for those who cannot +feel that they have a Father in heaven, and therefore it is that when we +are too happy, and begin to forget Him, He sends us sorrow to recall us +to Himself." + +"Mamma told me something like that once," said Amy, with a heavy sigh; +"but I did not think sorrow would come so soon." + +"You must not fancy it is come, dearest," replied Emily; "and you must +not think, whatever happens, that you will be miserable. In this place, +least of all, because everything in a church reminds us that we have God +to watch over us, and our Saviour to love us, and holy angels to guard +us." + +Amy raised her head, and for a few moments gazed in silence upon the +still solemn beauty of the chapel. "It is better to be here," she said, +at last, "than in the drawing-room with the lights and the music." + +"You can feel so now," replied Emily, "because you are unhappy, and +when you have had more trials you will feel so always. When persons +have suffered much, and borne their afflictions with patience and +thankfulness, they become in a degree calm and composed, as that marble +figure beneath us, for their eyes are closed to the sights of the world, +and their hearts are raised continually to heaven. Only think how good +the saints and martyrs were of whom you have often read; it was trial +and suffering which made them so." + +"Oh yes!" replied Amy; "but who can be like them?" + +"We can," answered Emily, "if we really wish and try to be. When we were +baptized, you know, God gave us His Holy Spirit to enable us to obey +Him; and you know also that He will give it to us more and more every +day, if we only pray to Him. The greatest saint that ever lived could +not have had a higher strength than ours; and therefore, if they bore +their afflictions without murmuring, we can do the same." + +Amy was silent, her eyes were fixed upon the marble monument, and she +seemed lost in thought. "May I go to mamma?" she said, at length, in a +calmer tone. + +"I think," answered Emily, "that Mrs Herbert is asleep on the sofa in +her bedroom; at least Morris told me so just before I came up-stairs, +and perhaps you may disturb her." + +"I must, indeed I must see her!" exclaimed Amy; "I do not want to speak, +only to look at her; and I will try to bear everything," she added, +earnestly, though the tears again filled her eyes as she spoke. + +"I wish," said Emily, "you could have listened to Dr Bailey's opinion +yourself: I only heard it accidentally as I met him in the hall. He +seemed to think that if your papa came home soon, Mrs Herbert would get +well almost immediately." + +"I do not think he will come now," said Amy; "it seems all changed, and +my uncle wishes us not to think about it." + +Emily hardly knew what reply to make; she had so many fears upon the +subject herself, that she dared not give Amy the hope which she desired, +and could only again beg her to try and trust all things to the will of +God, and to feel that He whose child she was, would be her comfort in +every affliction. + +"Will they miss me?" said Amy, as they left the gallery; "do you think +my aunt will ask where I am gone?" The question showed that her mind +had returned to something like its natural state, and Emily felt +considerably relieved. + +"I will take care to make your excuse," she said, "if any observation +is made; but, dearest, you must promise me not to sit by yourself, and +dwell upon all the possible evils that may happen. I do not think you +will, for your mamma's sake; it will make her worse to see you unhappy." + +"I would try for you," said Amy, "I would do anything--yes, anything in +all the world for you." + +"Anything but believe that your mamma will get well," said Emily; "and +yet that is what I most wish you to do now." + +Amy's only answer was an entreaty that she then would come to her again +as soon as she could, and sadly and noiselessly she stole into her +mother's room. + +Mrs Herbert's sleep was calm as the sleep of a weary child; her +breathing was regular and gentle, and her face had lost the painful +expression of anxiety which was seldom absent from it at other times. +There was a slight tinge of colour upon her pale cheek, and almost a +smile upon her lips, and it appeared as if the rest of the mind, which +was denied to her waking life, had been mercifully granted to her in her +dreams. But Amy, as she stood by her side, did not notice this; she +saw only the pale, worn features, and the thin, delicate hand which was +resting on the book her mother had been reading, and every moment seemed +to force upon her more and more the truth of Mrs Danvers' words. Yet her +self-command did not again leave her; and seating herself on a low stool +by the sofa, she continued to watch and listen to every breath with +an intense anxiety, which made her insensible to all but the present +moment. Still Mrs Herbert slept, and still Amy watched, and by degrees +the first overpowering feeling diminished, and her thoughts returned to +the past--to her peaceful home, the cottage, which she had once almost +despised, with its sloping lawn and its beautiful flowers, and the +arbour where her happiest hours had been spent; to the quietness of her +morning lessons, and the enjoyment of her afternoon rambles; and, above +all, to the unwearying care which had guarded her from every evil, and +ministered to her hourly gratification; and as she remembered these +things, and then gazed upon her mother's face, it seemed as if every +feeling of affection which she had hitherto experienced had been but +cold and ungrateful--as if now, for the first time, she had known what +it was really to love her. Of Emmerton, too, she thought, and of her +aunt, and Dora, and Margaret, and the possibility that their home might +be hers for the future; and while pondering upon the idea, the very +comfort of the room in which she was sitting, with its rich crimson +curtains and thick carpet, and luxurious chairs, and the soft, mellow +light of the lamp burning on the table--all became oppressive. They had +made her envious and discontented when she was happy, and now they could +give her no comfort when she was sorrowful. What would all the riches +of the world be to her without her mother? On the possibility of +her father's return she could at first dwell but little; for it was +difficult to believe it very near, and if it were delayed it might be +too late to be of use, and a meeting under such circumstances would +be almost worse than a continued separation. But Amy's spirit was too +buoyant in its nature to remain long depressed by such forebodings; +there was a brighter side to the picture, and Miss Morton had entreated +her to think of it. Colonel Herbert might be on his voyage home, he +might even be in England at that very time, and then every one said her +mamma would recover. For one moment she believed that it might be so, +and her heart bounded with delight, though immediately afterwards +it sunk again into doubt and suspense; and at length, worn out with +anxiety, she laid her head against her mother's pillow, and slept also. +The distant sound of the music, and the hum of voices below, mingled +strangely with her sad thoughts, and her rest was far different from her +mother's. Visions of India, such as it had often been described to her, +of her father in health and happiness, and her mamma on her sick bed, +and of the cottage, and Emmerton, and her cousins, were blended together +in her dreams, now bringing before her scenes of sorrow and trial, and +then changing them suddenly into happiness. Sorrow indeed prevailed; yet +the hope which had cheered her before she slept was associated with it, +and even when her wandering fancy pictured most vividly some painful +trial, her father's image was at hand, to comfort and support her. Half +an hour passed away, and Amy's slumber still continued restless but +unbroken, whilst in her dream she was walking with her father on the +terrace at Emmerton, describing to him her mother's illness, and begging +him to go back with her to the cottage, when a strange, unusual sound +fell upon her ear; and as she turned to inquire from him the cause, she +awoke. The sound was apparently so real, that even when her recollection +was completely recovered, Amy could not entirely believe it was only a +dream, and she listened eagerly to discover what was passing below. +The music had ceased, but there did not seem to be any preparations for +departure, or the carriages would have been heard as they drove up +to the house; and yet there were distant sounds of bustle, doors were +opened and shut hastily, and voices were earnest in conversation, +while servants were moving quickly along the gallery. Amy thought and +wondered, and, without understanding her own ideas, grew excited and +anxious. She longed for her mother to wake, that she might listen also; +and at length, unable to remain quietly in her room, she walked softly +into the ante-room. It looked out upon the front entrance, and the +bright moonlight made everything appear almost as clear as day. Still +unable to comprehend what was going on, she went to the window; there +was a carriage at the door, and she wondered that she had not heard +it approach, but still no one was departing, and bags and luggage were +being removed from it. Amy looked on for a few moments, and then a +thought of unspeakable happiness passed across her mind, a thought so +overpowering that it was gone in the next instant. She felt that it +was only fancy; but it made her run to the door and again listen with +breathless earnestness. Foot-steps were heard upon the stairs; she +knew them well--they were her uncle's, and her spirit sickened with +disappointment; they came nearer--and then she felt sure some one else +was with him. It might be Dr Bailey returned again, or Mr Dornford, or +any one, yet Amy's heart beat till she could scarcely stand. More slowly +(so it appeared to her) than he had ever moved before, Mr Harrington +passed along the gallery, and she was just going to meet him when he +entered the room alone. Amy turned deadly pale, and did not speak; +but when she looked in her uncle's face, her vanished hope revived. +He asked, indeed, only how her mother was; but his voice was quick and +unnatural; there was a bright, restless glance in his eye, and a strange +smile upon his lips. + +"Mamma is asleep," said Amy; "she has been asleep very long, and I slept +a little; but such a strange sound wakened me." + +"Nonsense, child," said Mr Harrington; "are you sure it was not in your +dreams? What did you hear?" + +"I don't know," replied Amy; "only it was so strange, and there is no +music now, and there is a carriage at the door." + +"Why, you foolish child," said Mr Harrington, "you are dreaming still. +It is time for every one to go." + +"Is there really nothing?" inquired Amy; and her very existence seemed +to depend upon the answer she received. + +"What should there be?" said Mr Harrington. "Do you think your mamma +could see Dr Bailey again?" + +"Again!" repeated Amy: "oh! then, she must be very ill." + +"No, no," exclaimed Mr Harrington, "not ill; only he might as well see +her." + +"But is he here?" asked Amy. + +Mr Harrington did not answer; but he left the room, and immediately +returned, followed by another gentleman. Amy looked at him as he +entered, and for the first moment believed that he was a perfect +stranger; but, as he stood quietly in the door-way, with the light +of the lamp falling full on his face, she became conscious that every +feature was familiar to her. Again she looked, and then she doubted; +she seemed to know well the high forehead, the dark eye, and the grave +mouth; but the sallow complexion, the deep wrinkles, and the look of +age, completely bewildered her. + +"Amy," said Mr Harrington, "why do you not speak?" + +Amy's voice was almost choked as she endeavoured to reply. + +"Oh uncle!" she exclaimed--"if I could but tell----," and she burst into +tears. + +"This must not be," said the deep, rich voice of the stranger. +"Harrington, it is wrong to trifle with her, Amy, my own precious +child!"--and the next moment Amy was clasped in her father's arms. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + + +In her after-life Amy enjoyed many and great blessings; but she could +never recur to any which equalled the pure, intense pleasure of that +moment. Colonel Herbert's return seemed the restoration of both her +parents; and even before she had again looked in her father's face, and +wondered at the strangeness of his sudden arrival, she had thought of +the unspeakable relief her mother would experience, and involuntarily +rushed to the door of her chamber. She was stopped, however, by Mr +Harrington. + +"We must be careful," he said; "your mamma is too weak to bear such a +surprise. I will break it to her gently." + +"Mamma is moving," said Amy; "she will hear us. May I not go?" + +Mrs Herbert had caught the sound of voices, and asked if Amy were there. + +"There is nothing to be done, then," said Mr Harrington, in answer to +Amy's imploring look; "but remember you must be cautious." + +Colonel Herbert came forward and stationed himself near the door. "I +cannot bear this long," he whispered. "Amy, my darling child, I must go +to her soon," and Amy, unable to restrain her own eagerness, answered +her mothers summons. + +"Who is in the ante-room?" said Mrs Herbert. "You were speaking to some +one." + +"My uncle was there," answered Amy; "he did not know at first that you +were asleep." + +"Is it late?" asked Mrs Herbert. "You look so flushed, my love; have you +been dancing much?" + +"No, not much, mamma; there were so many; and I sat still a great while, +and then I came up to you." + +"I must have slept very long," said Mrs Herbert; "and I would willingly +sleep for ever, if my dreams could be as happy; but I will not murmur; +it is an infinite blessing to have an hour's rest to the mind, even if +it be unreal." + +"It may be real soon, mamma," said Amy, and her voice trembled as she +spoke. + +Mrs Herbert looked at her anxiously. "You are worn out with excitement +and fatigue, my dear; that flush on your cheek is very unnatural." + +"I don't feel tired at all, mamma," replied Amy; "but my face is rather +burning, I think." + +"There is something the matter, I am sure," said her mother; "you never +looked so before. Are you sure you have not been vexed at anything?" + +"Vexed! oh no! mamma, anything but that." + +"You must go to bed soon," said Mrs Herbert, "or you will certainly be +ill to-morrow." + +"I had rather not go to bed," replied Amy; "I could not sleep if I did." + +"Not sleep!" repeated Mrs Herbert; "then you must be ill, my dear child, +or," she added, after again gazing upon Amy intently, "there must be +something very unusual to prevent it." + +Amy did not reply, her lip quivered, and her self-command almost forsook +her. + +"There is something," said Mrs Herbert, starting up, "I am sure there +is. Oh! tell me quickly, is it sorrow!" + +"No, no, mamma," exclaimed Amy, as she knelt at her mother's side, and +hid her face in her lap, "it is not sorrow,--it is great, great joy; but +my uncle says you will not be able to bear it." + +"Is he come?" asked Mrs Herbert, in a low, half audible voice. + +There was no time to answer. Colonel Herbert had heard the question, and +entered the room. For an instant Mrs Herbert fixed her eyes wildly upon +him, doubting the reality of his appearance; and then, as the truth +forced itself upon her mind, she tried to rise from the sofa, +and, unequal to the effort, fell back and fainted. With returning +consciousness came an indistinct sense of great happiness, but it was +some time before she could entirely realise what had happened. She +asked no questions--she did not even seem surprised at her husband's +unexpected arrival; but sat with his hand in her own looking at him +earnestly, as if still fearful that it was but a vision which she saw, +and that it would quickly vanish away. + +Colonel Herbert's feelings were not quite of so unmixed a nature. Mr +Harrington had prepared him in some degree for the change which illness +and anxiety had made in his wife's appearance; but he had not pictured +it to himself as great as it really was. He had imagined that he should +yet see the fair, clear complexion, and the bright glow of health which +he had so much delighted in when they parted; and now, when his eye +rested upon her wasted features, the sad foreboding crossed his mind, +that they had met only to endure a more terrible separation. It was not +a time, however, for the indulgence of sorrowful thoughts. Mrs Herbert +gradually recovered from the stunning effect of an overpowering joy, +and was able to inquire into the cause of his strange silence, and his +sudden return. + +The story, when told, was very simple. Colonel Herbert had gone on an +expedition into a distant province, as he had stated in the last letter +that had been received from him. The servant who had accompanied him he +had trusted entirely, and had confided to him several packets intended +to be forwarded to England. After the lapse of a considerable time, +complaints of his silence reached him from several quarters; and he +then first discovered the man's negligence, and wrote again to his +wife, hoping that his letter had been secured from all risks, though +the unsettled condition of the country through which he was travelling +rendered it very doubtful. Before an answer could be received, he was +seized with a dangerous illness, and left entirely to the care of the +uncivilised natives, in a state of pain and weakness which prevented him +from making any exertions for himself; and, on his recovery, hearing of +the breaking out of the war, as Mrs Herbert had expected, he hastened +to join his regiment; but the insurrection, for it was scarcely more, +having been quelled before his arrival, he made arrangements for an +immediate return to England, feeling much distressed when he discovered, +from Mrs Herbert's letters, the dreadful anxiety she had undergone, and +the alteration it had effected in her general health. + +"You would have heard from me before I reached Emmerton," concluded +Colonel Herbert, "if this place were not so much out of the regular +posting line; but I knew I should be with you before a letter could be +forwarded." + +"You went first to the cottage, of course," said Mrs Herbert; "it must +have worn a desolate face, with none to greet you." + +"I inquired for you first in the village," he replied, "and learned +there that you were spending your Christmas at the Hall; but they gave +me a sad account of you, my love, and I hardly know that it is worse +than the reality." + +"Worse!" repeated Mrs Herbert, with a smile which made Amy's heart bound +in ecstacy; "it would seem worse than the reality now, to say that even +my finger ached. Years of health seem to have been granted me in the +last hour." + +"So you say to-night," replied her husband; "but you must look very +different before I shall be quite happy." + +"We must not doubt," said Mrs Herbert, gravely, "though I am the last +person to find fault with another on that account: I have had dreadful +forebodings lately; and Amy, I suspect, can tell you of some also, for +my fears were beginning to infect her." + +Colonel Herbert drew his child fondly towards him. "She shall tell me +everything to-morrow," he said; "to-night she is over tired." + +Amy wished to speak; but her first delight had been succeeded by +something of shyness and restraint: for her father was in many respects +so different from what she had anticipated, that a feeling of awe +was partly mingled with the intense interest excited by every word he +uttered. Amy had seen but few gentlemen in her lifetime, and Colonel +Herbert was unlike them all. She had been accustomed to his picture, +until the alterations occasioned by years and a foreign climate were +quite forgotten; and the many tales she had heard of his kindness +and benevolence had made her unprepared for the firmness and decision +evinced in all he said. Even the tone of his voice so little resembled +any to which she had been in the habit of listening, that it prevented +her from being at ease with him, although this very difference served to +increase her pleasure; for to be loved and caressed by one whose every +word showed that he had been used only to command and be obeyed, was +a happiness she had before been incapable of imagining. To sit by his +side, and look at and hearken to him, was all that she now desired; and +whatever fatigue her countenance might express, she was herself too much +absorbed to think about it; and it was not till some time had passed, +and she found herself alone, after having received her father's blessing +(it seemed to her for the first time), that she began to feel the +effects of the excitement undergone in the space of a few hours. Wearied +and exhausted, she seated herself by the fire, and, unwilling to wait +for the assistance of her mother's maid, was endeavouring to summon +resolution to exert herself, when a gentle tap was heard at the door, +and immediately afterwards Dora entered. + +"I could not go to bed, Amy," she said, "without coming to you for one +minute. I wish I could tell you, but you know I can't say things, only I +am sure no one in the house can be as glad as I am, except yourselves." + +"Dear Dora," exclaimed Amy, "I thought of you when I began to think of +anything; and there is so much I should like to say to you; but I must +wait till to-morrow, for I am so tired with being happy." + +"That was another reason for my coming," replied Dora; "I knew you would +want some one to help you, and that my aunt's maid would be engaged with +her, and perhaps you would not like to ring for Morris; so I thought +perhaps you would let me be with you instead." + +"Oh no," replied Amy; "it was very kind in you to remember me, but you +cannot be any better than I am; you have been dancing all the evening." + +"But I have set my heart upon it; you would not refuse if you could tell +the pleasure it would be; I don't mean to talk at all, but just to +do everything for you. Perhaps, though, you would rather I came again +presently." + +Amy hesitated, but Dora insisted on having her own way; and only left +her on condition of being allowed to return in a quarter of an hour. +When her cousin was gone, Amy tried to collect her thoughts, and +oblige herself to attend to her evening prayers; but at first it seemed +impossible. She longed to be grateful, but fatigue overpowered every +feeling; and when, closing her eyes, and hiding her face in her hands, +she endeavoured to shut out everything that might divert her attention, +the vivid remembrance of all that had passed flashed upon her mind, and +effectually distracted her thoughts. Again and again she repeated the +form of words, but it was merely a form; she could attach no meaning to +it; and once she was tempted to yield entirely, and content herself with +the notion that it was better not to pray at all, than to do so when it +appeared only a mockery. The next instant, however, she was shocked +at her own idea, and, after asking for forgiveness and assistance, at +length in some measure succeeded in fixing her attention. The effort was +great, and Amy's conscience reproached her, when she had ended, for the +manner in which this most solemn of all duties had been performed; +but her endeavours had been sincere, and she knew well that even her +imperfect prayers would be accepted, when they were offered in the name +of her Saviour. She was now also better able to feel grateful to God +for His great mercies; for the name of her father had never sounded so +precious as when she had asked for God's blessing upon him, and had been +able to bring his countenance before her, such as she had that evening +seen it. Dora's knock was heard at the door before Amy had time to read +her accustomed psalm; and, on her entrance, she was looking so tired, +that Amy was vexed at having allowed her to return. She declared, +however, that it was only her cousin's fancy, and immediately began +assisting her with as much energy as if she had borne no previous +exertion. Amy was not very much inclined for conversation; but she +was anxious to learn a few particulars of her father's arrival, and +especially, whether the sound in her dream had been real or imaginary. +"It was so startling," she said, "I should like to be quite certain that +it was real." + +"It must have been just when your papa came to the door," replied Dora. +"We heard the carriage drive up, and thought it was one that had been +just ordered, so no one took any notice. I remember I was talking +to Mary Warner, and trying to pacify her, for she has offended Miss +Cunningham; and suddenly there was a great exclamation; and when I +turned round, my uncle was standing in the door-way, and papa was +looking so happy. I knew in an instant who it must be. There was +something said about my aunt, and that she would hear; and then every +one inquired for you, and you could not be found, and Emily Morton said +you were with her." + +"Then you did not miss me," observed Amy, rather in a tone of +disappointment. + +"I did," replied Dora; "but Emily told me you were unhappy about my +aunt." + +"Yes," said Amy, shrinking from the remembrance of what she had +suffered, "I hope I shall never feel again as I did then." + +"Do not think about it now," said Dora, kindly: "let me draw the +curtains, and make you quite comfortable, and then you shall go to +sleep." + +"Would you do me one more favour?" asked Amy. "Mamma always likes me +to read something in the Bible at night, only a short psalm, or a few +verses that she has chosen for me; but my eyes are so dizzy now, I can +hardly see." + +"And you would like me to read to you?" continued Dora, taking the Bible +from the table. + +"Just tell me about Miss Cunningham before you begin," said Amy; "but +no," she added, stopping herself, "I will hear it to-morrow. It will be +better than thinking about it just now." + +"Oh! it is nothing at all," replied Dorn. "Lucy would play as usual, and +broke down, and when we were talking afterwards, Mary asked her if she +had not some notion of having lessons of Emily Morton, and said what an +advantage it would be, and this put her into a great rage, because she +declared it was laughing and sneering at her--not that it was at all, +for Mary Warner is the last person to sneer, and was quite vexed at +having given offence; but, Amy, why did you say it would be better to +hear it to-morrow?" + +"Because you were just going to read the Bible," replied Amy, "and +I thought it might put things into my head, and prevent me from +attending." + +"But you could have heard it afterwards." + +"No," answered Amy, "I generally read the last thing, and then mamma +tells me to try and not attend to common things; she says our last +thoughts should be of God." + +"We should think of Him always," said Dora. + +"Yes," replied Amy; "but you know, Dora, sleep is like death, and +perhaps we may never wake again." + +"That never entered my head before," said Dora, gravely. "I shall not go +to sleep so comfortably now as I used to do." + +"Why not?" asked Amy. + +"It is so awful. I should not care if I were you, Amy, and had never +done anything wrong; but I could not bear to die now." + +"Oh Dora!" exclaimed Amy, "you know no one could bear to die, if they +thought only of what they had done wrong, and I am sure the idea would +make me miserable if I did not say my prayers every night; but when I +have done that, and remember what mamma has shown me in the Bible about +our Saviour, and that God will love us for His sake, though we are so +wicked, I am quite comfortable; and sometimes, after I have read my +psalm, I can go off to sleep so happily, with the thought that angels +are watching all round my bed." + +"Yes," said Dora, earnestly; "if angels watch over any one, they must +over you, Amy." + +"The Bible says they are sent to take care of us all," replied Amy. + +"I should like to think so," said Dora; "but it is so strange." + +"It must be true," answered Amy; "if it is in the Bible, and I like +to think of them so much. It seems as if one could never be alone; +and sometimes I fancy that they are quite near, amongst the trees and +flowers. Will you read the psalm to-night which says 'that God will give +His angels charge over us?' I don't quite know which it is, but I think +I could find it." + +Dora read the psalm, but she did not make any more observations; and +having thought of every little trifle that could contribute to Amy's +comfort, she gave her one kiss of the truest affection, and left her to +the enjoyment of a calm and innocent repose. Her own thoughts, when she +retired to rest, were far from being happy: indeed, she seldom now had +any conversation with her cousin, without its being succeeded by a deep +consciousness of her own inferiority in those principles which she was +just beginning to consider of the utmost importance; and to this was now +added a feeling of great loneliness. Colonel Herbert's return would most +probably cause a considerable change in Amy's life. She would be far +less dependent upon Emmerton than formerly, and Dora found that her +cousin was gradually becoming so necessary to her comfort, that the +idea of any arrangement which might prevent her from being with them +constantly was excessively painful. Yet they might be separated at any +moment. Colonel Herbert might leave the cottage: he might choose that +Amy should travel, and then all sympathy and consolation would be taken +away; and while dwelling sadly upon these probabilities, the image of +Emily Morton came before her, and with it the feeling that once she +might have been her friend, but that no present attention could atone +for the neglect and scorn that had so long been shown her. Dora saw +that she had injured her as far as lay in her power, by destroying +her comfort for months, and it was vain to hope that now she would +be willing to forget it. Amy would have thought differently; but she +understood better than Dora what is meant by forgiving our brother +"until seventy times seven," and she knew also that there was no +Christian virtue, however difficult, which Emily Morton did not +endeavour to attain. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + + +The sun was shining brightly into Amy's room when she awoke the next +morning--so brightly, that she started up in alarm at what she knew must +be the lateness of the hour; but the next moment brought the thought of +her father to her mind, and with it a feeling of entire happiness and +peace. Her mother's gentleness seemed frequently overpowered by her +aunt's sternness, but no one would dare to find fault with her in +Colonel Herbert's presence: and for the first time Amy felt sure that +she could be perfectly at her ease even if Mrs Harrington were there. +Yet, on remembering what had passed, and recalling her father's grave, +calm features, she was not entirely free from fear. His height, +his voice, his age, his manner, placed him in her imagination at an +immeasurable distance from her; she could not believe it possible that +he should be satisfied with her; he must expect to see some one taller, +and cleverer, and more accomplished: if she could but sing and play +like Miss Morton, and speak French and Italian like Dora, she should not +care; but as it was, she was convinced he must be disappointed; and +as these thoughts crossed her mind, Amy stopped in the middle of her +toilette, and began repeating French phrases, and reckoning how many +drawings she had to show, and playing over the most difficult passages +in her music with her fingers on the table. A knock at the door +interrupted her. It was Emily Morton, looking so happy, that Amy fancied +for the instant she must have some personal cause for joy. But it had +been long since Emily had known what it was to be light-hearted for +herself. Peaceful and contented she could always be; but when her +countenance was the most brightened by smiles, and her voice sounded +the most cheerfully, the happiness of others rather than her own was +invariably the cause. She had learned to "weep with those that weep," +and now she was learning to "rejoice with those that rejoiced." + +"You would have looked more frightened yesterday, Amy," she said, "if +I had told you breakfast was ready, and every one wondering at your +absence." + +"Ah, yes," replied Amy; "but I cannot feel frightened at anything this +morning, excepting--I am afraid perhaps you will think it wrong--but +do you think papa will be pleased with me? I don't mean exactly with my +face, and my manner, because he will not care so much about that, as I +am his child; but will he think me very stupid, and dull, and different +from everybody else?" + +"If he should feel as I do," said Emily, as she fastened Amy's dress, +and smoothed her dark ringlets, "he will love you so dearly, that he +will not be inclined to criticise anything; but we must not wait to +talk now--breakfast is really ready, and your uncle asked me to come for +you." + +"My uncle!" said Amy; "but shall we not be in the school-room as usual?" + +"No," replied Emily; "every one was so late this morning, that Mrs +Harrington thought it better not." + +"And will all the company be in the breakfast-room, then?" said Amy, in +great alarm; "and am I the last?" + +"Not quite," replied Emily; "Mrs Danvers is not come down yet; and there +is a special place left for you at the bottom of the table, between your +papa and your uncle." + +"I do not think I can go," said Amy, stopping as she was about to leave +the room; "there will be so many--and it will be just like seeing papa +quite new--I can hardly recollect now what he was like last night." + +"But he asked so often if your cousins had seen you, and was so anxious +about you," replied Emily, "he could scarcely attend to anything else; +and your mamma was obliged to beg him not to have you disturbed, or I am +sure he would have sent for you half an hour ago." + +"If I thought he would not be disappointed, I should not care," said +Amy, as she moved slowly along the gallery; "but I know all my ideas +will go when he speaks to me, and then he will think me so dull, and be +so vexed." + +"Will you, dearest, try and not think of yourself at all?" replied +Emily. "It is distrusting your papa's affection to have such fancies, +and it will do you harm in every way." + +"I would if I could," answered Amy; "but I must wish to please him." + +"I do not say there is any harm in it," replied Emily, "only it will +make you awkward and uncomfortable if you dwell upon it; whatever you +feel, however, it will last but a short time; you will be quite at home +with him in a few days." + +Amy was very much inclined to pause when they reached the +breakfast-room, and continued talking, but Emily hastily opened the +door, and she was obliged to enter. The room was quite full, and she did +not at first see either her mamma or her cousins; even the persons she +knew the best seemed quite strangers to her; but Emily led her to the +bottom of the room, and Colonel Herbert came eagerly towards her; and as +she seated herself in the vacant chair by his side, looked at her with +an expression of such deep, heartfelt satisfaction and love, that she +would have been quite satisfied and happy, if bashfulness and humility +had not prevented her from understanding its meaning. At first, she was +very silent, feeling rather bewildered by the sound of so many voices, +and the attention which every one was inclined to bestow upon her, +for her father's sudden return had excited a general interest; but by +degrees she summoned courage to make a few voluntary observations; and +the eagerness with which he answered her so increased her confidence, +that before breakfast was ended, she had given him a full description of +her life at the cottage, and her studies and amusements. Colonel Herbert +listened with unwearied pleasure. In many a solitary hour he had solaced +himself by imagining what his child would be like, and now his fondest +expectations were realised. By the side of her cousin Margaret, indeed, +Amy might have been little regarded, at least by those who cared only +for personal beauty; but to this Colonel Herbert was indifferent. One +glance was sufficient to show that Amy was a lady in every word and +movement, and with this he was satisfied; and even had her eyes sparkled +less brightly, and her countenance been less interesting, he would not +have been disappointed; for in the expression of every feature, as +well as in every sentiment and feeling, he could read the gentleness, +meekness, and purity of the spirit within. Once only Amy paused in her +account, when her attention was caught by a sound which she had not +heard before for many months; it was her mother's laugh--so clear, and +sweet, and joyous, that it might almost have been the echo of her own; +and when she turned eagerly to look at her, and saw the change that even +one night had produced, the last remaining shadow which rested on her +mind passed away, and she felt that Dr Bailey's words must be true, and +that now there was little cause for fear. + +"You will wish to go to the cottage, I suppose, by and by," said Mrs +Herbert, before they left the breakfast table, "and Amy can go with +you." + +"There will be the carriage at your disposal," said Mr Harrington, "if +you are not afraid to venture out." + +Mrs Herbert was very much inclined to take advantage of the offer, but +her husband interfered. + +"I have a disappointment in store for you both," he said, "not a very +great one, though--so, my darling Amy, you need not look so blank; but +I must ride into the town to-day. I have a message from a very great +friend of mine, to his mother and sisters, and I promised, if possible, +to deliver it personally on my arrival in England; you will not ask me +to delay it, I am sure." + +"Oh no, no!" exclaimed Mrs Herbert, recollecting her own feelings a +short time since, and the relief any intelligence would have afforded +her; "but you will pass the cottage--cannot you contrive to take us with +you so far?" + +"Not you," replied Colonel Herbert; "it would be too great a risk in +this weather; for if we were once there together, we should spend hours +in wandering about and talking over old times, and I have learned Dr +Bailey's opinion by heart--he says there must be no excitement, and no +exposure to cold." + +Mrs Herbert again urged her wishes, but her husband was inexorable. He +prized too dearly his newly-recovered treasure, he said, to allow any +risk to be run, but he should like, if possible, for Amy to be with him. + +"I could walk, indeed, I could walk quite well, dear papa," said Amy; "I +have done it before; and it would seem such a short distance with you." + +"There will be no occasion for anything of the kind," said Mr +Harrington; "you can easily go with your papa in the carriage, Amy, as +far as the cottage, and one of the grooms shall take a horse to meet him +there, and then he can go on to the town, and you can return here." + +Amy thought the plan delightful, though she wished her mamma could go +too, but Colonel Herbert again expressed his fears; and it was agreed +that this day at least should be given to perfect rest and quietness. +The carriage was ordered almost immediately, and Amy ran up-stairs to +prepare, but on her way she was stopped by Mary Warner. + +"I am so sorry you are going out this morning, for my own sake," she +said, "as we shall be gone probably before you return, and I have seen +nothing of you; and besides, I wished very much, if I could, to talk to +you about Miss Cunningham. Your cousin tells me that you know how angry +I made her last night." + +"Yes," replied Amy, "I wish I could help you, but I am afraid it is +impossible, and papa will be waiting; can you not come to my room whilst +I am dressing?" + +"If I may," said Mary, "I should be very glad, for I am not at all happy +about it." + +"But, indeed," answered Amy, "you must not think I can do anything; you +know I am so much younger than Miss Cunningham, and she will never bear +my interfering in any way." + +"I do not wish you to interfere," said Mary, "only to tell me whether +you think I was very wrong, and if I ought to make any more apologies." + +Amy led the way to her room, and endeavoured to give Mary her full +attention, though her thoughts would frequently wander to the cottage, +and the drive with her papa, notwithstanding all her efforts to prevent +it. + +"You know the beginning of the affair, I suppose," said Mary. "It was +merely an observation of mine about the advantage it would be to Miss +Cunningham to have music lessons. I know it was foolish in me to say +it, because it was just after she had broken down in a piece she was +playing; but I am in the habit of saying just what I think, so I often +get into scrapes. I cannot tell why she should have been so angry, +though; but she declared every one was trying to be impertinent to her, +and that it was not my place to say what would be an advantage to her, +that I was but a school-girl, and could not possibly know anything about +it; and then she went on muttering something to herself about London, +and that all the world would be mistaken; but I could not in the least +understand what she meant." + +"And did you say you were sorry?" asked Amy. + +"Yes; I begged her pardon immediately, but that did not satisfy her, +and I saw she wished me to retract, or at least to say something in her +praise; but that I could not do--I could not tell her anything that was +not true, for the world." + +"No, of course not," said Amy; "but how can I help you?" + +"I don't know," replied Mary, "unless you could make Miss Cunningham +less angry; she will scarcely speak to me now, and your cousin Margaret +has taken her part; and Hester Stanley declares I was very rude, and has +been quite lecturing me this morning, and Julia only laughs, and your +cousin Dora says it does not signify." + +"I cannot think there is anything to be done," said Amy, "and I wish you +would ask some one who knows more about such things than I do." + +"I have talked to them all, excepting you," replied Mary, "and I did not +come to you for advice exactly, because I do not really think it can be +helped; but I am very unhappy, and wanted some one to talk to. I wonder +if it was very wrong in me to say what I did: I did not mean any harm; +but I always think it right to speak what is strictly the truth. Should +you have done the same if you had been in my place?" + +"I daresay I should," replied Amy; "but mamma tells me I ought to be +very careful always, and not to make hasty remarks, because I may vex +people very much without meaning it." + +"That is what I do sometimes, I am afraid," said Mary; "and yet I only +mean to be sincere." + +"Miss Morton is sincere," replied Amy, thoughtfully; "but I do not +think any one could be vexed with her. I should like to be able to say +straightforward things as she does." + +"Miss Morton is so gentle," said Mary; "and once or twice I have noticed +her manner when she has differed from any one, and it appeared as if +she were so afraid of annoying them, I do not think any one could take +offence at her." + +"Perhaps," said Amy, hesitatingly, "it is what every one ought to be, +and then----" + +"I know what you mean," exclaimed Mary. "I know I am abrupt. Mamma is +often telling me of it, and I daresay I was wrong last night; but what +is to be done now?" + +"There is papa calling me," said Amy, "I wish I could stay; but indeed I +must not keep him waiting." + +Mary looked heartily vexed. "I do not think I shall go down-stairs +again," she said. "We are to set off very soon, and I cannot meet Miss +Cunningham." + +"But she will not think about such a trifle still," said Amy. + +"Yes, indeed, she will," replied Mary; "I cannot tell you how she looked +this morning at breakfast. I am sure that piece of music must be a +tender subject with her." + +Colonel Herbert's voice was again heard calling for Amy, and she had no +time to attempt comforting poor Mary. + +"I must not wait a moment," she said, as she wished her "good-bye," +"but I daresay I shall see you at Emmerton again, some day or other; +and then, if Miss Cunningham is not here, we shall be able to enjoy +ourselves a great deal more." + +Mary could hardly say with truth that she ever wished to come to +Emmerton again, she was feeling so annoyed with herself, and almost +every one about her; but she could and did express a most sincere hope +of meeting Amy at some future time, and they parted with mutual +feelings of kindness and interest. As they passed through the hall, Miss +Cunningham was at the drawing-room door. She did not notice Amy, though +she had not spoken to her before that morning, but her contracted brow +and curling lip portended no common storm. Amy was too happy to think +of her; she was standing by her father's side listening to his parting +words to Mrs Herbert, and caring only for the pleasure before her; and +when he stopped to give the necessary directions to the coachman, she +was still too much occupied to observe the tone in which Miss Cunningham +inquired, "whether anyone had seen Margaret lately, as she must speak to +her directly." + +The carriage drove off, and the footman at the door was despatched in +search of Margaret, who soon made her appearance, with a face of eager +curiosity, which was quickly clouded when she saw the expression of her +friend's countenance. + +"What do you want with me?" she asked; "I was very busy in the +schoolroom; I hope it is something of consequence." + +"Of course it is," was the reply, "or I should not have sent for you. +But it will not do to talk about it here; you must come to my room." + +"Tell me whom it concerns," said Margaret. "Is it anything about +London?" + +But Miss Cunningham either did not hear or would not answer. She led +the way to her own apartment, and carefully bolting the door, exclaimed, +with a scornful laugh, "Well, Margaret, I wish you joy; it is all +settled, and you are going." + +"Going! settled!"--repeated Margaret; "it cannot be true; no, I am sure +it is not; you would not look in that way, if it were." + +"Yes, but I should, though," exclaimed Lucy, "for it is quite true you +are going; but you will not have me to go with you; that is all I wished +to say." + +"Pray, pray, Lucy," said Margaret, "do not tease me in this way. How do +you know it is settled?" + +"Because," replied Miss Cunningham, rising from the seat on which she +had thrown herself, and walking quickly about the room, "because papa, +and Mr Harrington, and Colonel Herbert have been talking of it. Papa +said he must make one more effort before we went home, and he mentioned +the subject directly after breakfast; and when Colonel Herbert heard it, +he said he should be obliged to be in London about Easter; and then Mr +Harrington turned completely round, and declared his being there would +make all the difference in the world, and that he should certainly +consent, and so they said it was settled; but they did not ask me," she +continued, more vehemently, "and they shall find that I can have a will +as well as themselves. I will never, no, never consent to be treated +again as I have been treated here. To be taught by that Miss +Morton--I would rather stay at home all the days of my life; and those +school-girls too--actually Miss Julia Stanley had the impertinence to +say, just now, that she should be glad to hear me play after I had had +lessons, and see if I were improved; not that there is any chance of our +meeting. London is a very different place from the country; and that she +will soon know." + +"Oh!" said Margaret, soothingly, "she will never come in your way +there." + +"But Miss Morton, that Miss Morton," exclaimed Lucy. "I am quite in +earnest, Margaret; you may talk for ever, you may go down upon your +knees to me, and I will never agree to go if she does." + +"Dear Lucy," said Margaret, covering her with kisses, and speaking +in her most persuasive voice, "you know how much I love you, and how +miserable I shall be without you; you are only saying this in joke, I am +sure." + +"You may be sure of anything you like, it does not signify to me; +nothing can make me change." + +"But you will not care when those girls are gone away," said Margaret; +"you are merely vexed because they are so rude." + +"Vexed!" repeated Miss Cunningham; "when did I say I was vexed? who +cares for school-girls? how can they know good music from bad?" + +"No, to be sure not," said Margaret; "and Julia Stanley cannot tell a +note." + +"I never knew that," exclaimed Lucy, rather pacified. "How foolish she +would have looked, if I had asked her to sit down and play it better." + +"I wish you had done it, with all my heart," said Margaret; "but it is +not too late now: they are here still,--let us go into the schoolroom +and say something. I should enjoy making her ashamed of herself, and +we shall not have another opportunity; for, as you observe, there is no +chance of meeting her in London." + +Margaret waited anxiously to hear what effect her words would have, and +to remark whether the mention of London would bring back the thought of +Emily Morton. But Miss Cunningham had now seized upon this new idea, and +forgot that her indignation had been excited by any one but Julia. "Are +they all there?" she said; "half the pleasure would be gone, if there +was no one by." + +"They were all there when I came to you," replied Margaret; "but we must +make haste, for Dora was wishing to take them round to the farther side +of the lake this morning, because it is the only part of the grounds +they have not seen." + +Miss Cunningham hardly waited to hear the end of the sentence; she +hastened down-stairs, and to her great delight found the whole party +lingering round the fire in the schoolroom, wishing to go out, yet +unwilling to brave the cold. If Margaret had been rather quicker in +perception, and not quite so anxious, she might have been amused at this +moment in watching her friend's manner. Evidently she had determined on +saying something very severe, which should put Julia completely to the +blush; but in her great eagerness and her extreme dulness, she failed +entirely, for she merely walked up to the fire-place, stationed herself +immediately in front of Julia, and in a sharp, cross tone, said, "You +found fault with my music just now; I should like to know if you can +play it better." + +Julia stared, and answered, "Oh, dear no; who would attempt to vie with +you?" + +"You are right, Margaret," exclaimed Miss Cunningham; "she cannot play a +note, Margaret told me so, just now," she added, turning to Julia, "and +so I was resolved I would ask you." + +"You are quite welcome to ask anything you like," replied Julia, coolly. +"I am not in the least ashamed of not being able to play at all. Perhaps +I might be, if I pretended to know what I was ignorant of, and then +broke down before a large party." + +Miss Cunningham's countenance expressed unutterable feelings of anger +and disgust; and Dora, really alarmed lest a quarrel should ensue, +quickly interposed, and, begging they would prepare for their walk +immediately, hastened Julia out of the room. + +"It is your fault, it is all your fault, Margaret," exclaimed Lucy, when +they were again left together; "you are always getting me into scrapes; +and that girl, that odious girl, why did she ever come near the place?" + +"Really, Lucy," began Margaret, "I do not see what reason you have to +blame me," and then, recollecting how important it was that her friend +should be soothed, she added more gently, "I could not have supposed any +one would behave so rudely as she has done." + +"I shall go home," said Miss Cunningham; "I have had nothing but +vexation ever since I came here, and I will not bear it any longer." + +"But Lord Rochford has promised to stay till after New Year's day," +observed Margaret. "You know we cannot have any one else, because it was +poor Edward's birthday." + +"Papa will do as I wish him," said Lucy; "if I want to go home he will +not prevent me." + +"And he will do as you wish about London, you may be sure," continued +Margaret, who, in her extreme anxiety, could not avoid recurring to the +subject, even at the risk of again exciting Miss Cunningham's vehemence. + +"I have told you a hundred and fifty times before," was the reply, "that +my lessons are quite different from everything else; you do not think I +have been so silly as not to try all I could about it long before this." + +"But you will stay over New Year's day," said Margaret, coaxingly: "if +we try hard we may be able to manage something together." + +The notion seemed rather plausible, and Miss Cunningham condescended +to say that she would see about it; perhaps she might, if she were not +plagued any more with the school-girls. + +"They will be gone soon," said Margaret; "and if you would come with me +now, you might get quite out of their way, and not speak to them again." + +"Where are you going, then?" asked Lucy. + +"I wished very much to walk to our old steward's cottage. He has had a +pony training for me some time, just like Dora's. I want to see it, and +mamma always scolds us if we go out of the grounds alone; but she will +not mind if you are with me." + +Miss Cunningham walked to the window to look at the weather, which +certainly, but for the cold, would have been very inviting, although the +melting of the ice and snow rendered the walks in some places dirty and +disagreeable. + +"My pony is much more beautiful than Dora's," said Lucy, "and much +larger too. I wonder she likes riding such a little thing. Is yours the +same size, Margaret?" + +"I do not know exactly; but do come and see it, it is not very far. I +don't think Dora will be able to get to the other side of the lake, as +she wished, and if so, we shall have the girls back again in a minute." + +"I shall go away, then," said Lucy. + +"Oh, do not do that," exclaimed Margaret. "You will be so dull, for I +cannot be with you, because they will all be setting off, and mamma will +find out if I am in the house, and make me stay with them. There is no +way of avoiding it, unless we go out." + +"Is it far?" asked Lucy. + +"Oh no, only through the plantations, and then across a field. I do not +think we have ever been there with you. The field next to the one we +shall go through is very steep indeed, and the river runs at the bottom +of it, and I daresay it might be muddy and dirty just by the banks, but +our path will not be at all so." + +"Well," said Lucy, sulkily, "if we must go, we must; anything is better +than those girls." + +Margaret thought the same; of all things she dreaded another quarrel, +and she hoped, by a little quiet flattery, to bring her friend, when +they were alone, into something like good-humour; and without waiting +for Lucy to change her mind, she hurried her up-stairs to prepare for +the walk. + +Amy, in the meanwhile, was enjoying herself to the utmost. A very short +time had sufficed to remove almost all dread of her father, and only +enough remained to increase the interest of his conversation. At first +it was entirely about India and his travels; and Amy listened as she +would have done to a romance or a fairy tale, and thought her papa a +greater person than ever, as she discovered how much he knew, and the +wonders he had seen: and then again he recurred to his long silence, and +the uneasiness he knew it must have occasioned them, and spoke of the +eagerness with which he always inquired for letters, and the pleasure it +had been to hear from her of all she had been doing; "though you did not +tell me many of the things you mentioned this morning," he said,--"the +little things, I mean." + +"I should write differently now, papa," replied Amy. "I did not quite +know what to say then, and I always fancied you were a great man, and +would not care for little trifles." + +"But, Amy," said Colonel Herbert, "if persons are really great, they +can care for, and attend to everything. It is only those who think +themselves great, when they are not, who despise trifles." + +"It is very nice," said Amy; "but I cannot think now that you really +like to hear about my donkey, and my flowers, and my lessons." + +"I will tell you when I am tired of it all," replied her father; "but +now you must talk to me a little about Emmerton, and your cousins. Do +you like them very much, and is it very pleasant staying there?" + +"I like Dora, papa," exclaimed Amy, "so much--so very much. She is so +kind, and so thoughtful; and yet"--she added, pausing--"I do not think +she is kind and thoughtful either, not to every one, at least." + +Colonel Herbert smiled. "You seem to have made a new discovery," he +said. "Is Dora's character such a puzzle to every one?" + +"I never thought about it before," replied Amy; "and now I do not think +I quite know what she is; but I love her very much, though she is not at +all like Miss Morton." + +"Miss Morton is the governess, is she not?" said Colonel Herbert; "I +used to know her very well as a child." + +"She is not exactly the governess," replied Amy; "but she teaches my +cousins some things, and she has taught me too. Emmerton would be so +different if she was not there." + +"I thought," said Colonel Herbert, "that you were always delighted with +Emmerton before your uncle came." + +"Ah! yes," answered Amy; "but that was before I knew any better; when +I only thought about all the old lords and ladies who they said used to +live there. There was nothing real then; but I liked to make them out +very good and beautiful--and sometimes I wished I had lived in those +days, because no one I could ever hear of was quite good, except mamma +and Mrs Walton; now, I never care about such things, for Miss Morton is +better, I think, than I ever imagined, and prettier too; don't you think +she is?" + +"She has a very sweet face, certainly," replied Colonel Herbert; "but, +Amy, how good you ought to be after being so much with her." + +Amy looked rather grave: "I have thought of that sometimes," she said; +"but I hope you will not be very much vexed with me, dear papa; indeed I +do mean to try so hard." + +"You must not think I doubted it, my love," he replied; "but, you know, +we shall be obliged to answer for the use we have made of our friends, +just as much as for the use we have made of our money or talents. I do +not think, though, that Miss Morton has been thrown away upon you." + +"It was mamma who made me see Miss Morton's goodness," replied Amy. "I +do not think I should have noticed it half as much if she had not +been so like her; and that was the first thing which made me love her. +Margaret and Dora did not appear to think anything about her for some +time." + +"And do they now?" asked Colonel Herbert. + +"I am not quite sure as to Margaret," replied Amy; "but I think Dora +does, though she will not acknowledge it; and, by and by, I dare say, +she will love her as I do, and then Miss Morton will be happier; for +it must be very dreadful, papa, to live all by one's self, without any +person to care for one." + +"Who does live so, Amy? Not Miss Morton, I am sure, from your account of +her." + +"Yes, but indeed she does live alone very much. Rose is a great deal too +young to be a companion to her." + +"Does she say herself that she has no one to care for her?" said Colonel +Herbert, looking rather graver than usual. + +Amy thought for an instant, and then answered, "I do not think she would +say so, because she told me the other night that wherever God was, was +our home; and she is so good, that I daresay loving Him does instead of +friends; but, papa, I am afraid I shall never feel like that." + +"It is a hard lesson," replied Colonel Herbert, as he looked at his +child, and thought what his feelings would be if he were obliged to part +from her. "But here we are at the cottage, Amy," he added, after a few +moments' silence. "I must go over it quickly, for I have but little time +to spare." + +Amy eagerly ran into the house, but her father followed more slowly. +Every tree and stone served to recall some vision of the past, some +walk, or book, or conversation, which at the time he had been hardly +conscious of enjoying, but upon which he now looked back with almost +melancholy regret. Amy soon noticed the change in his manner; and +leaving him to his own reflections, wandered about by herself, finding +sufficient occupation in repeating the instructions which Mrs Herbert +had sent to the servants, inquiring for the people in the village, whom +she had seldom before left for so long a time, and visiting her pet +rabbits and her donkey. It was a slight disappointment to see her father +so abstracted; but the feeling quickly passed away, when he made her go +with him into the drawing-room, and began pointing out a few alterations +which he hoped to make in the house, and talking of the new piano he +intended to procure for her when next he went to London; and then showed +her the books he wished her to read, promising that, if possible, some +portion of his time should be given every day solely to her, to perfect +her in the knowledge of history and languages, before he took her +abroad. Every word realised more fully the blessing of her father's +return; and though the time thus spent was but short, it was sufficient +to open many new sources of enjoyment; and when at length Colonel +Herbert placed her in the carriage by herself, she was so occupied with +all he had been saying, that she forgot to give directions for being +driven to the rectory, though at another time a visit there would have +been her greatest delight. The servants, however, had received previous +instructions, and Amy soon found herself in Mrs Walton's drawing-room, +recounting to her all the changes of sorrow and of joy which she had +experienced since last they met. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + + +Miss Cunningham's temper was not likely to be improved by the pleasures +of her wintry walk, and this Margaret quickly perceived, for it required +all her powers of flattery and persuasion to prevent her from turning +back at every step; and although perfectly sensible of the importance +of humouring and soothing her, it was impossible to avoid occasionally +showing a dislike to cross looks and harsh words. The walk through the +plantation was tolerably firm, for the heat of the sun had not entirely +penetrated it, but the open field was in many places very unpleasant, +and but for the thought of her pony, Margaret would on no account have +attempted to proceed. Miss Cunningham slowly followed her, sighing and +muttering, and at length, stopping at a gate leading into the adjoining +fields, she protested nothing should induce her to move one step +farther. + +"It is but a very little way," said Margaret; "you can see the cottage +just among the trees; I daresay the lane will not be as bad as this." + +"You can go by yourself, can't you?" replied Lucy; "there is no good in +both of us getting into a mess." + +"But I wanted to know whether you thought the pony as pretty as Dora's. +I am not going to have it, if it is not." + +"Then we must come another day," was the reply. "I could as soon wade +through a pond as this field." + +"I do think," said Margaret, looking over the gate, "that it is much +drier in this other field, and there is a bridge down at the bottom over +the stream; I should not wonder if we could get to the cottage by going +over it." + +As she spoke, Margaret was about to open the gate, when she heard some +one repeating her name, and turning round, saw Rose and Miss Morton, who +were hastening towards her from the bottom of the field. + +"I have been trying," said Emily, as she came up, "to find my way to +Stephen's cottage, but the lane is in such a state, that it is almost +impassable--at least for Rose--so I must beg you to take care of her for +a few minutes, while I make another attempt. I shall be within sight, +and almost within hearing the whole way." + +"It is very provoking," observed Margaret; "is there no mode of reaching +the cottage by the next field and the bridge? it looks a great deal +drier." + +"No," replied Emily, "you would find a hedge in your way, unless you +went a considerable distance round; but can I say anything to Stephen +for you? I must see him to-day, for his daughter is ill; and there are +some directions for her medicine which no one can give but myself." + +"You may tell him," said Margaret, "that I want very much to see the +pony; and that I shall not have it, unless it is quite as pretty as +Dora's." + +"Shall I say that it is to be sent for?" asked Emily. + +"You may if you will--that is, I must speak to papa about it first; but +I suppose there will be no objection to my having it to try." + +Miss Morton secretly wished that Margaret would learn to be more +grateful and courteous in her expressions; and then charging Rose to +walk up and down the field in order to keep herself warm, and on no +account to give her sister any trouble, she walked towards the cottage. +She was hardly beyond hearing, when Miss Cunningham began complaining +of the trouble that had been caused, and wishing that they had not met; +declaring, at the same time, that she would not stay in such a bog for +any one; it would be much better in the other field, and she should go +there. + +"Come, Rose," said Margaret, opening the gate, "you must go first. I +will lift you over the bad places, and then we can keep to the dry part +of the path." + +"I was told to stay here," said Rose, "and, besides, I am never allowed +to walk in that field, it is so steep, and there is water at the +bottom." + +"You must do as you are told by us now," exclaimed Miss Cunningham, "so +come directly." + +Still Rose resisted. Emily would not like it, she said, and would not be +able to find her. + +"It does not signify," observed Margaret, desirous from selfish motives +to please her friend in every fancy. + +"She can stay here if she wishes it. It can make no difference which +side of the gate we are. If you are such a naughty child, Rose, you +must remain by yourself, but don't be frightened, we shall not be out of +sight." + +Rose was half inclined to follow, but Miss Cunningham shut the gate, and +she was prevented. The path certainly was much drier and more agreeable; +and Margaret and Lucy paced up and down for several minutes, until, +catching sight of some animals in a field adjoining the stream, Margaret +declared they were horses, and she was sure her pony must be amongst +them, and calling to Rose to remain exactly where she was till they came +back, she hastened to satisfy her curiosity. Rose begged her not to go +out of sight; but Margaret did not think it worth while to attend; and +although the distance was not very great, the poor child immediately +began to fancy she was left, and stood looking anxiously through the +gate, and entreating Margaret to return, till she gradually worked +herself into a state of great distress, which was brought to its climax, +when, on turning round to see if Miss Morton were coming, she perceived +that a few cows had been driven into the field, and that one of them +was moving rather quickly in her direction. In an agony of alarm, Rose +attempted to open the gate, but it resisted all her endeavours; and +then, forgetting everything but her desire to escape from the cows, she +made a desperate effort, and succeeded in scrambling over it, and seeing +her sister standing by the bridge at the bottom of the field, ran at +full speed towards her. Margaret saw, and called loudly to her to be +careful, but the poor little girl's fright prevented her from attending, +while the swiftness with which she ran, and the steepness of the hill, +took from her the power of stopping, and in one moment, while yet +unconscious of her danger, her foot slipped; her head struck against the +projecting branch of a tree, and she fell with violence into the +water. Margaret's scream of horror was echoed by Miss Cunningham, who +immediately ran from the spot, calling loudly for assistance, while +Margaret, with greater presence of mind, caught hold of a broken bough +that lay upon the ground, and bent over the stream, in the hope of +reaching her sister's dress, and so being able to save her. But the +rapidity with which it flowed frustrated her hopes, and in another +minute all probability of rescuing the unfortunate child would have been +at an end, when the man whose cows had been the principal cause of the +accident came to her assistance, and by the aid of a longer stick, and +more powerful arm, succeeded in placing Rose once more in safety. + +Margaret's first feeling was one of overpowering relief and gratitude; +but when she looked at her sister's face as she lay perfectly senseless +in the labourer's arms, her terror returned; and unable to decide +upon what was next to be done, she stood by her in silent despair, +unconscious of the approach of Miss Morton, who, alarmed by Miss +Cunningham's cries, as she was returning from the cottage, had quickly +guessed the cause, and was hurrying towards them, followed by another +man. + +"To the Hall! carry her to the Hall!" were the first words she said; +and they were spoken so calmly, that but for the expression of her +countenance, no one could have guessed the extent of her feeling. + +The man in an instant obeyed, and strode rapidly across the field, but +Emily's anxiety gave her for the time a strength far beyond her nature; +and she kept pace with him, and even occasionally outstripped him, +urging him at every instant to hasten, for that life and death depended +on his speed. Margaret and Miss Cunningham were left far behind, and as +they drew near to the house, almost unconsciously, Margaret lingered. +Neither she nor Lucy had spoken during their walk, and ample time had +been given to both for reflection. At first Margaret had felt stunned by +the alarm; but as she thought of meeting her mother, the horrible +idea crossed her mind, that she had not been entirely guiltless of the +accident. + +"Oh Lucy!" she exclaimed, when they stopped at the Hall door, "why did +we leave her?" + +"She will get well soon," said Miss Cunningham; but her manner was +subdued, and she spoke less confidently than usual. + +Margaret did not wait to reply, but hurried to Miss Morton's room. +Rose, however, had not been carried there, and the house was in such +commotion, that it was some time before she could obtain any information +as to what had been done; but at last she was told that Mr Harrington +had ridden off himself for Dr Bailey, and that Mrs Harrington and Miss +Morton were together using every means for restoring the poor child +to life. Morris named the room to which Rose had been taken, but when +Margaret tried the door, it was bolted; and though there were voices +within, no attention was paid to her entreaties for admittance. As she +turned away in disappointed misery, Dora met her. + +"Oh Margaret!" she exclaimed, "is it your doing?" + +"No, no," replied Margaret; "why are you so cruel as to say it? Do you +know how she is?" + +"Better," answered Dora, trying to command herself; "she has shown signs +of life, but they will not let you in." + +"Who will not?" inquired Margaret. + +"Mamma and Emily Morton; they are talking together, and they have +fastened the door. Hark! you can hear them now." + +Mrs Harrington's voice sounded strangely in the chamber of anxiety and +fear. She was evidently in a state of the utmost excitement, and Emily's +gentle answers seemed hardly listened to for an instant. Dora and +Margaret gazed at each other in silent amazement; in a few minutes the +bolt was hastily and angrily withdrawn, and Emily Morton entered the +passage. Dora caught her dress, and was about to speak; but when she +looked in her face, she felt it was impossible. Such intense suffering +was expressed in every feature, in her firmly compressed lip, and the +ghastly paleness of her check, and the contraction of her forehead, that +Dora did not dare inquire the cause. Yet, even then, Emily had a thought +for others. "Rose is better," she said, and pointed to the open door, +and then, turning away, she passed in a moment from their sight. + +"What can be the matter?" exclaimed Margaret. + +"Mamma is angry that Rose was left, I suppose," replied Dora. + +"She would have thought nothing about it, but for the accident," said +Margaret, with a painful consciousness of being infinitely more to blame +than Miss Morton. + +"I don't know any of the particulars," observed Dora; "no one has had +any time to ask; but I wish you would tell me now." + +Margaret was beginning her account, when the door again opened, and Mrs +Harrington seeing them in the passage, called Dora into the room, and +ordered Margaret to send Morris to her immediately. + +Margaret delivered the message, and then went to the school-room, where +she found Miss Cunningham seated by the fire, with a book in her hand, +and not only composed, but cheerful. + +"You are not unhappy now, Margaret, are you?" she said; "I dare say +little Rose will be quite well again tomorrow. Susan Reynolds told me +just now that she was a great deal better." + +"Yes," replied Margaret; "she is better, certainly, she would not be +alive else; but it is nonsense to talk of happiness. What will mamma say +when she knows how it all occurred?" + +"Who is to tell her?" said Lucy. "We need not." + +"No," replied Margaret; "but I rather suspect mamma thinks it is owing +to some carelessness of Emily Morton's. She was talking to her very +angrily a little while ago, and when Emily came away she looked like a +frightened ghost." + +"But it was careless in her. What business had she to trouble us with +the care of such a child? she might have known that it would be very +inconvenient. + +"If mamma has a notion that it was her fault, she will send her away," +said Margaret, while a feeling of satisfaction dawned upon her mind as +she thought of the London journey. + +"Will she, indeed?" exclaimed Lucy; "then we shall enjoy ourselves after +all." + +Margaret shrank from having her own idea put into words. "You must not +be too sure of that, Lucy," she replied: "I only said that Emily would +be sent away if mamma considered the accident her fault, but, in fact, +it was no one's fault; and this she will find when inquiries are made." + +"Mrs Harrington is coming now," said Lucy: "I am sure that is her voice; +she is speaking to Dora." + +Margaret trembled extremely. "I hope mamma is not going to ask about it, +Lucy." + +"What are you afraid of?" replied Lucy: "we had nothing to do with it." + +Margaret's conscience did not fully acquit her; but her uneasiness was +lessened when her mother entered, still talking to Dora. "I have ordered +the carriage, and she shall go," were her first words. "I shall never +bear the sight of her again, and she wishes it herself. She says Mrs +Walton will receive her." + +"But was it really her fault, mamma?" asked Dora. + +"Whose could it be?" replied Mrs Harrington. "She left her--left her in +that field, notwithstanding my strict charge to the contrary, for such +a child could never have opened the gate: and she must have known that +there was danger." + +"But Margaret and Lucy were near," continued Dora. + +"So she says," replied Mrs Harrington; "but they could not have been, or +they would have taken care of her." + +"Where were you when poor little Rose fell in?" asked Dora, appealing to +her sister. + +Margaret was about to reply, but a glance from Miss Cunningham stopped +her, and she suffered her to speak instead. + +"We were standing near the bridge, looking for Margaret's pony; and when +we saw what had happened, we ran directly and tried to save her." + +"I told you so, Dora," exclaimed Mrs Harrington, in extreme indignation. +"I knew she equivocated: she shall not remain in my house another hour." + +Mrs Harrington rang the bell violently, and Dora felt almost too much +alarmed to speak; she did, however, suggest that Margaret and Miss +Cunningham should tell the whole story, as she felt certain there must +be some mistake. Again Margaret would have replied; but Miss Cunningham, +who was standing at her side, pressed her hand as a signal for silence, +and at that instant the servant entered. + +"Let the pony-carriage be ordered directly," said Mrs Harrington: "I +wish it to be at the door in an hour's time. I will not hear another +word, Dora," she added: "the case is quite clear. Go immediately, and +let Miss Morton know when the carriage will be ready." + +"Oh mamma!" exclaimed Dora, while tears rushed to her eyes--"if you +would send Morris." + +"Dora, I will be obeyed instantly," said Mrs Harrington. + +"But Amy is not come home yet, mamma," persisted Dora, seizing eagerly +upon any chance of a respite. + +"Did you not hear me order the pony-carriage?" was the answer. "Of +course, I knew that your cousin was not returned." + +Mrs Harrington left the room, and Dora was about reluctantly to follow, +when the servant came back to say that the carriage was just coming down +the avenue, and to inquire whether it would make any difference in the +order. + +Dora for once in her life heartily wished that Amy had remained longer +away, for she feared that even less time might now be allowed Miss +Morton; and she fancied every delay might be of use. "I will ask mamma +myself," she said, unwilling that anything should be settled without her +knowledge. And after lingering a few minutes longer, she walked slowly +away; and Margaret and Miss Cunningham were again left alone. + +"I hope you give me credit for my management, Margaret," said Lucy. "We +have had a happy escape." + +"I don't know," replied Margaret; "it must all come out by and by." + +"Why, I should like to know? Why should anything more be said if we keep +our own counsel?" + +"But Emily Morton," replied Margaret, "she will never allow herself to +be sent away without making some defence." + +"If she does," answered Lucy, "what will it signify? You may see your +mamma does not believe her." + +"But if mamma should ask us any more questions, we could not tell a +story about it, you know." + +"Did I tell one just now?" asked Miss Cunningham. "Was not every word +exactly the truth?" + +"Yes," said Margaret; "but I think Dora suspects something." + +"Never mind Dora," replied Lucy; "she cannot know what we do not choose +to tell. It is quite silly of you, Margaret, to be so fidgety; this +is just all that we wanted; and if we only take care, we shall go to +London, and enjoy ourselves to our hearts' content. You would have been +delighted at the idea yesterday; and now that everything has fallen out +just as we wished, you look grave." + +"It is not just as I wished, though," repeated Margaret, rather angrily; +"it is not at all pleasant to have poor little Rose so ill." + +"Certainly that is disagreeable," said Lucy; "but it is a mere trifle; +she will be quite well to-morrow; besides, what would you do? You would +not dare make a great fuss, and complain of yourself to your mamma." + +"No, indeed," exclaimed Margaret; "I would suffer anything first. I +should say nothing about it, if Emily Morton were not going." + +"But that is the very point," urged Miss Cunningham. "It is the +principal reason we have for being silent. London--think of London, +Margaret;--and nothing would induce me to go if Miss Morton went too. +How much you would miss me if I were not there." + +"To be sure," replied Margaret, after a short pause, "we have not said +anything that is not true; and Emily Morton is quite able to defend +herself; and if mamma will not believe her, it is not our fault." + +"Certainly not; let us leave her to herself; and when she is once out of +the house everything will go right." + +Margaret's conscience told her that all could not be right; that +there was such a thing as a practical falsehood; but she had so long +accustomed herself to trifling prevarications, that her self-reproach +was not very great. Probably she would not have felt any, if the +consequences of her deceit had been less important. Miss Cunningham +perceived that she had gained an advantage by the mention of London, +and, eagerly pursuing the subject, expatiated in glowing terms upon the +amusement they should find there, till Margaret forgot by what means the +pleasure was to be obtained; and by the time the conversation was over, +was so strengthened in her resolution, that Miss Cunningham's fears were +completely at rest. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + + +To Dora's relief--her cousin's return made no difference in Mrs +Harrington's plan--there was still nearly an hour before her; and in +that time it was barely possible that her papa might return and insist +upon Emily's remaining at least another day. It seemed, indeed, the +height of cruelty to insist upon her going at such a time, for the state +in which poor little Rose continued excited the greatest alarm. She had +shown signs of consciousness, but the increasing fever and her continual +moanings added every moment to Mrs Harrington's anxiety. She walked from +room to room, and from window to window, listening for every sound; +now upon the point of setting off herself in search of Dr Bailey; then +seating herself by the side of her child's bed, with the determination +that nothing should induce her to quit it; and again, as she felt the +rapid pulse, and heard the sounds of suffering, starting up with the +intention of seeking for some one who might advise her at once what was +most necessary to be done. Dora, after remaining a short time, anxious +to delay giving the painful information to Emily, went to see her +cousin, in the hope of being the first to break to her, gradually, the +painful news; but Amy had not been two minutes in the house before she +had heard all, and rather more than all, for the news of Miss Morton's +intended departure had spread rapidly, and was of course coupled with +the accident. + +Amy's first intelligence was, that Miss Morton had left Rose playing +by the side of the stream; that the child had fallen in, and would have +been lost but for Miss Cunningham's screams; that she was not expected +to live more than an hour; and that Miss Morton was to go away +immediately. The last words were so surprising, that Amy did not at +first entirely comprehend them; she was bewildered between her deep +sorrow for Rose and her dread of Miss Morton's departure; and stood for +a few moments in a state of the most painful indecision, unwilling +even to go to her mamma till she had learned the truth more certainly. +"Going," she repeated; "do you really mean that Miss Morton is going +now?" + +"Yes, now, Miss," replied Morris, in a short, pert voice, and rejoicing +secretly in the thought of getting rid of any one that patronised Susan +Reynolds, who had lately become almost her rival. "The carriage is +coming round directly. I think Jolliffe is just gone up to the stable to +put the ponies in." + +Amy did not wait to hear more. She flew to Emily's room; but just as she +reached it, Dora stopped her. + +"Oh Amy!" she exclaimed, looking earnestly at her, "I see by your face +that you know everything. What is to be done for Emily?" + +"I am sure it cannot be true," said Amy. "My aunt would never send her +away now." + +"But it is quite true," replied Dora; "nothing will have any effect. I +have said all I could; and papa is not here." + +"Where is she going?" said Amy. "I must run directly, and speak to +mamma; she will entreat for her; and my aunt will never be able to +refuse her. Has no one told mamma about it?" + +Dora was about to reply, when Emily Morton opened the door, and in a +voice so totally changed that Amy would scarcely have recognised it, +asked them to come in. + +The room presented a very different aspect from that which it usually +wore. The pictures from the walls were lying about on the table and in +the chairs; the floor was covered with trunks, band-boxes, and dresses; +and the books had been taken from the shelves, and were piled together +in regular order, preparatory to their being packed. + +Amy did not speak; but Dora exclaimed instantly, "Oh Emily! why should +you do this? you cannot manage it yourself." + +"I must be alone," replied Emily; and again her voice sounded so +strange, that Amy started. The gentle tone which had once sounded so +sweet to her ear was changed for one that was unnaturally deep and +hollow. There were no traces of agitation in her face--scarcely even in +her manner; but her lips were perfectly colourless, and her eyes were +dimmed and sunken. + +"You must not,--oh! you must not go," exclaimed Amy, throwing herself +into her arms, and bursting into tears. + +Emily pointed to the floor, and, with a ghastly smile, said, "Will you +help me? The carriage will be here." + +Dora knelt down and tried to busy herself with the books, but she could +not conceal her emotion; and Emily Morton, as she witnessed for the +first time the sympathy of one who had hitherto so painfully neglected +her, pressed her lips firmly together, and walked quickly up and down +the room. + +"I must go to mamma," exclaimed Amy; "she will see my aunt directly; and +I am sure she will be able to persuade her." + +"No," said Emily, forcing herself to speak, as Amy was about to leave +the room; "you must not say anything to Mrs Herbert. I went to her +myself just now, before everything was settled, that she might not be +shocked suddenly; and even then, though I could speak comfortably to +her, I could see how much she suffered. She went immediately to Mrs +Harrington, and would have remained with her but for your aunt's +insisting to the contrary. I would not for the world that she should be +distressed again on my account." + +"But she will be so very, very sorry," said Amy: "and I am sure my aunt +will listen to her." + +"Indeed, it must not be," replied Emily. "Remember what Dr Bailey said; +and your mamma will not care so much when she knows where I am going. I +have written a note to Mrs Walton, to ask her to receive me for the +next few days. I could not go far away whilst----' The sentence remained +unfinished; but both Dora and Amy knew well what it meant. + +"If you would leave these things," said Dora, "Amy and I could take care +of them for you." + +"Perhaps it would be best," replied Emily, "I don't think I quite know +why they were taken down, for I could not pack them in so short a time." + +"Do you know, then, about the carriage?" asked Dora. + +"Yes," replied Emily; "Susan Reynolds told me, and offered to help me; +but I sent her away. I want nothing now, excepting to know----" + +"How Rose is," continued Amy. "I will go directly, and ask." + +Amy ran out of the room, and Dora followed her. "Stop one moment, Amy," +she said. "I don't think Emily Morton knows about poor little Rose being +worse; when she left her, she thought she was better. It will half kill +her to go away when she hears it." + +"Let us both go to my aunt, and beg," said Amy, "only for one day. If +she would just let her stay to-night, I could be happy." + +"You don't know mamma," replied Dora; "she thinks Emily Morton has +equivocated." + +"Oh!" exclaimed Amy, "no one could think so." + +"Mamma believes it firmly; and so there would be no hoped persuading +her. But, Amy, I think there is something hidden--something which +Margaret and Lucy Cunningham know, only they will not tell. I must go +back to mamma. But, perhaps, if you were to talk to them, you might find +it out; only be quick." + +"Will you let Miss Morton know about Rose, then? and I will try; but I +don't know what to say. I wish you could be with me." + +"Indeed I must go," replied Dora; "but I will see poor little Rose +myself, and then return to Emily for a minute. You will find Margaret +and Lucy in the schoolroom." + +"But what does my aunt say?" continued Amy. "Why does she not ask them +about it?" + +"She would not listen to me just now," said Dora; "and when I left her +she was in such an agony about Rose that I did not dare speak to her; +indeed, Amy, you are the only person who can do anything." + +Amy did not wait to be again entreated, but went instantly to the +schoolroom. Margaret and Lucy were still there, as Dora had told her; +and neither of them seemed at all pleased at her interruption. + +"Have you seen Rose lately?" asked Amy, hardly knowing how to begin, and +yet extremely anxious that no time should be lost. + +"No," replied Margaret. "Mamma has sent us word that it is better to +keep her quite quiet; and she begs that no one may go to her room except +Dora, unless she rings. Morris is there with her too, I believe." + +"I should so like to see her," said Amy; "I am afraid she is very ill. +Do tell me, Margaret, how it was she fell in." + +"She was running fast down the hill," replied Margaret, "and could not +stop herself. I shall never forget what I felt when I saw what was going +to happen." + +"But how did you get into that field? Somebody said just now you were +going to Stephen's cottage; that is not the way to it." + +"No," interrupted Miss Cunningham, who began to be uneasy at Amy's +questions; "we went down to the water to look at the ponies." + +"And I suppose Miss Morton sent Rose to you, then," said Amy. + +"No," replied Lucy. "Poor child! she came running to us of her own +accord." + +"I do so wonder at Miss Morton's leaving her," observed Amy; "she is so +particular about her in general." + +Miss Cunningham made no reply, and Amy felt quite disheartened. In a +few moments, however, she began again-- "I cannot understand it at all, +Margaret. What made Miss Morton and Rose go into that field?" + +"You are very stupid this morning, I think," exclaimed Lucy. "How can +we know what reasons Miss Morton has for doing strange things? And why +should you ask so many questions?" + +"Because," replied Amy, summoning up all her courage, "I cannot think +that Miss Morton really did leave Rose all by herself in that dangerous +field." + +"Then what do you think she did?" asked Lucy. + +"I don't know; but it would have been much more like her to have left +Rose with you." + +"Then you think," exclaimed Miss Cunningham, indignantly, "that Margaret +and I have been saying what is not true." + +"I don't mean to make you angry," replied Amy, whose naturally timid +disposition was for the moment overawed; "but if there is any excuse to +be made, Margaret, it would be very, very kind in you to say something +to my aunt. I am sure you would, if you saw how miserable Miss Morton is +at the idea of going away." + +"What do you wish me to do?" asked Margaret. "Mamma will not listen to +me." + +"But she would listen to you," continued Amy, "if you had anything real +to tell her,--I mean, not merely an excuse." + +"I cannot see," interrupted Miss Cunningham, "why you should interfere +and talk to us in this way; you would make out if you could that we had +been keeping back something. Miss Morton can tell all there is to be +told just as well as we can. Come, Margaret, do let us go up-stairs; I +am quite tired of sitting here in my walking things." + +"No, no," exclaimed Amy, seizing her cousin by the dress; "pray, +Margaret, do not go yet." + +"What good can I do you by staying?" said Margaret, whose resolution was +somewhat wavering. + +"If you would only tell me," persisted Amy, "if there is anything that +will make my aunt pleased with Miss Morton, I should be so glad. I am +sure you never saw any one before look as wretched as she does now." + +Margaret seemed inclined to remain; not that she had any intention of +confessing the whole truth, but she was hardly able to resist Amy's +earnest looks. + +"Come, come, Margaret," said Lucy; "I cannot wait any longer. If you say +a word more," she added, in a whisper, "it will all come out." + +Amy caught the last words, and eagerly repeated them aloud. "Then there +is something. Oh Margaret! you would not be so cruel as to hide it!" + +"I think you are very unkind and unjust to suspect me of concealing +anything, Amy," replied Margaret, her pride and her fears being awakened +by the open accusation, "You may find out what you will, but you will +hear nothing from me; I am not going to stay here to be accused of +hiding things." + +Margaret and Lucy had left the room before Amy could resolve on what was +next to be said; and when they were gone she felt for some moments +in despair of being able to do anything for Miss Morton. The time was +quickly passing away; she did not dare go to her aunt; and she did not +know what might be the consequence of applying to her mamma. Dora was +not to be seen; and there was but a very slight hope that either her +father or her uncle would return before Emily's departure; and yet she +was fully convinced there was some secret between Margaret and Lucy, +which, for private reasons, they did not choose to confess. At first +she felt inclined to give up all idea of discovering it, and go again +to Miss Morton's room; but the thought of what her distress would be on +learning that poor little Rose was getting worse made it seem cruel to +rest without another effort; and in the hope of possibly seeing Dora, +and obtaining some advice from her, she went up-stairs, and lingered +about in the gallery into which Rose's bedroom opened. + +The window at the end fronted the terrace; and when Amy looked out, +she saw Lord Rochford and Mr Cunningham pacing up and down in earnest +conversation. At first she thought very little about them, but after +waiting in vain for Dora, the idea struck her, that if something were +said to Mr Cunningham he might be able to prevail on his sister to tell +the whole truth. With the idea, however, came also the doubt, whether it +would be right in her to mention the subject. She was but a child, and +he might naturally be very much annoyed at her expressing any suspicion +of his sister; and even if Lucy and Margaret had done wrong, it seemed +unkind to be the means of exposing them; perhaps, if she waited, her +uncle might return, and Dora might be able to speak to him;--at any +rate, it would appear presuming and impertinent; and as Miss Morton was +only going to Mrs Walton's, she could return again the next day if Mr +Harrington wished it. Of Mr Cunningham's kind feeling towards herself, +Amy had little doubt; he had shown it in the most marked way, especially +since he had overheard the conversation on the preceding evening; and +but for this it would hardly have been possible to think of taking so +great a liberty; but with the certainty that he would willingly assist +her, if it were in his power, she could not entirely banish from her +mind the thought of applying to him. Again and again she endeavoured to +decide whether it would be right, but still her mind continued in the +same painful state of indecision. The thought of Emily Morton made her +determine to go at once and beg him to interfere; and the remembrance +that it would appear unkind and unsuited to her age, made her shrink +from the idea, and resolve to wait patiently a short time longer in +the hope of seeing Dora. Very earnestly she longed to go at once to her +mamma; but it would vex Emily, and perhaps might make Mrs Herbert ill, +and Lucy and Margaret would consider her very ill-natured. This last +argument, however, did not seem a powerful one. If it were unkind to +them to mention the subject, it would be still more unkind to Emily +Morton to be silent: and again poor Amy began to doubt, and stood at +the window looking at Mr Cunningham, and wishing with all her heart that +some one would appear to tell her what she ought to do. Whilst still +hesitating, Susan Reynolds came into the gallery, followed by Morris, +the only one of the servants who had admission into the chamber of the +sick child. Amy was going to beg that her cousin Dora might be sent to +her, but Morris's movements were too quick; the bedroom door was +opened but for one instant; and when it closed, Amy was so vexed and +disappointed that her fortitude entirely gave way. + +"Oh Miss Herbert!" exclaimed Susan, as she noticed her distress, "pray +don't cry so; Miss Rose may get better after all; though, to be sure, +Morris says she never saw a poor child so ill before in all her life." + +"Is she so very much worse, then?" said Amy. + +"Oh yes, Miss," replied Susan. "Morris says, if the doctor does not soon +come, she thinks it will be no good having sent for him. She is quieter +now; but a little while ago she was moaning, when I passed the door, so +that one might hear her all along the gallery. And, oh! Miss Herbert, +isn't it dreadful about Miss Morton's going away?--she who is so good +and kind to every one. And what shall I do without her?" + +"I wonder whether Rose asks for her?" said Amy. + +"She did at first, I believe, Miss," answered Susan; "but Morris says +she is all wild and wandering again now, and does not know any one." + +"Oh! how I wish I knew what to do," exclaimed Amy, forgetting that Susan +was near. + +"Miss Morton will never see Miss Rose again, I should think," said +Susan, "if she goes away now. Mrs Bridget and Morris, and all of them, +think she won't live out the night." + +"And does Miss Morton know it?" inquired Amy. + +"She does now, Miss," replied Susan. "She asked me herself, and I was +obliged to tell. And it was miserable to see how she looked; I thought +she would have gone off quite." + +Amy made no reply, but turned to the window to see if Mr Cunningham were +still below. While Susan was speaking she had made up her mind as +to what was to be done. Emily's wretchedness overcame every other +consideration; and without further delay she hastened to the terrace. Mr +Cunningham paused in his conversation directly he saw her; and when +she came up, breathless and silent from fear and agitation, he inquired +eagerly for Rose. + +"May I speak to you?" replied Amy, unheeding his question. "Pray don't +be angry with me." + +"What! secrets!" exclaimed Lord Rochford; "then I suppose I had better +go; but you must tell me first how it is all going on with the poor +little darling." + +"She is very ill indeed," answered Amy; "and my aunt is very much +frightened about her." + +"It is a bad business," said Lord Rochford. "I wonder Mr Harrington ever +trusted such a young creature as Miss Morton." + +"Oh! indeed," answered Amy; "Miss Morton did not leave her--at least I +don't think she did. It was that I wanted to speak about," she added, +hardly daring to look in Mr Cunningham's face. + +Lord Rochford walked away; and Mr Cunningham, in the kindest manner, +begged her not to be frightened, but to tell him at once if he could be +of any use. "We are old friends now," he said, with a smile; "and if you +take my part, I must take yours in return." + +"Miss Morton is going away, said Amy, feeling that her courage would +entirely fail her, if she did not enter upon the subject at once. + +"Not now," exclaimed Mr Cunningham, in surprise; "not while little Rose +is so ill." + +"Yes," replied Amy; "the carriage has been ordered, and she is to go +this afternoon. My aunt believes," she continued, speaking very quickly, +"that Miss Morton has not told all the truth about having left Rose in +the field alone; and so she says she must go directly. But Margaret and +Miss Cunningham were there too, and I think----" + +"What do you think?" said Mr Cunningham. "Had they anything to do with +it?" + +"I don't know," replied Amy; "but when I spoke to them just now, they +did not seem quite to like telling me everything; and I thought that +perhaps if you were to ask Miss Cunningham, she would not mind talking +to you, and then you might be able to find out something which might +prevent my aunt from being so displeased, and she might allow Miss +Morton to stay till Rose gets better." + +"I am not sure that I entirely understand what you mean," said Mr +Cunningham. "Let me hear again what you wish me to do." + +"If you would go to Miss Cunningham," repeated Amy, "and ask her to tell +you the whole story, perhaps you would find out that Miss Morton did not +leave Rose quite alone, as my aunt thinks she did, Margaret says they +were a great way from her when she fell in; but then they might have +been near her before." + +"And will they not talk plainly?" said Mr Cunningham, looking very much +annoyed. + +"They would only say a little," answered Amy; "and then they went away. +And I do not think they liked me to ask them any questions." + +Mr Cunningham was fully aware of Amy's meaning, though she had +endeavoured to express it as gently as possible. He had long and +anxiously watched his sister's disposition, and had noticed too often +the deceit which she did not hesitate to practise when it suited her +purpose, for him to be surprised on the present occasion. If she had had +any share in the accident, she would certainly be desirous of concealing +it: yet the thought was extremely painful; and his countenance, as he +walked with hasty steps towards the door, made Amy fear that she had +offended him deeply. "I am afraid," she said, "that I have done wrong; +but I was very unhappy, and the hour is nearly up, and then Miss Morton +will go, and perhaps she will never see little Rose again." + +"You have been right--quite right," replied Mr Cunningham. "But I must +see Lucy directly: where shall I find her?" + +"She is in her bedroom, I believe," said Amy. "She will think me very +unkind." + +"You need not be afraid," he answered. "No one shall think anything of +you but what is right and good. You must not let Miss Morton go till you +have seen me again." + +The words were quite a reprieve to poor Amy, though she knew how great +an offence it would be to keep the carriage waiting; for Mr Cunningham +had been so kind to herself, that even if her suspicions were unfounded, +and Rose had really been left carelessly, he might perhaps speak to Mrs +Harrington, and prevail on her to change her determination. With this +idea she was going immediately to Miss Morton to give her the hope of +remaining, when Dora stopped her. "Well, Amy," she exclaimed, "what have +you done?" + + +"Nothing," replied Amy; "at least, nothing with Margaret: but I +have done something which I hope will be of use; I have spoken to Mr +Cunningham." + +Dora started. "Oh Amy! how could you be so bold? If I had been ever so +great a favourite, I never could have done such a thing as that." + +"I could do anything for Miss Morton," replied Amy. "But, Dora, do tell +me how Rose is." + +"Very much the same. Mamma is becoming dreadfully anxious; she can think +of nothing else: if she could, I would have made one more effort for +poor Emily. I wished we had asked her just now, when we were with her, +to tell us everything just as she told mamma, for I am sure mamma did +not half understand it. I did not think of it at the time, for it all +seemed to have happened so suddenly, and everything was so confused." + +"Supposing we were to go now," said Amy: "I am sure she must wonder what +has become of us." + +"I am afraid I cannot," replied Dora; "for mamma begged me to come back +again directly. I was only allowed to leave her because she wished so +much to know if there were any signs of papa or Dr Bailey coming down +the road. I wish I could hear all you said to Mr Cunningham. But we must +not stop now: you had better go to Emily." + +"I will beg her to repeat the story, if you think it would be any good," +said Amy. + +"I am afraid that nothing would make mamma listen to anything from us +now," replied Dora: "we must trust to Mr Cunningham. Lucy would hardly +dare be deceitful with him; and I am sure Margaret would not." + +"I would give anything to know what he has been saying since we have +been here," observed Amy. + +"You will know in a few minutes, if it is anything good," said Dora. +"But I wish you would go now, and give poor Emily a little hope: and you +may tell her that Rose has not been worse within the last quarter of +an hour." And as she said this, Dora walked away, and Amy went to Miss +Morton's room. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + + +Mr Cunningham did not find his sister in her room; she had gone +down-stairs again with Margaret, who could not endure to remain long +stationary in one place, while there was so much cause for anxiety about +her little sister. She fancied that it would be easier to learn what was +going on by remaining in the schoolroom; and though fully resolved to +allow everything to take its course, and not to say anything in Miss +Morton's favour, she was still too uneasy to attend much to her friend's +entreaties, that she would not put herself in the way of being again +questioned by Amy or Dora. + +Miss Cunningham was standing with her back to the door when her brother +came into the room, and was much startled when she turned round and +perceived him near her; for she saw immediately from his countenance, +that something disagreeable was coming. + +"I have been looking for you, Lucy," he said, in a voice rendered even +more confused than usual by his eagerness, and the irritation of his +feelings. "I wanted to speak to you particularly." + +"What about?" replied Lucy, with as indifferent a manner as she could +assume. + +"You may easily guess what," he answered; "this sad accident--you were +near the spot; how did it happen?" + +"I cannot tell you all," said Lucy. "We were standing near the bridge, +and just saw poor little Rose run from the top of the field, and fall +in; and then we went to help her." + +"But it is impossible," observed Mr Cunningham, "that Miss Morton should +have left a child of that age quite alone. Are you sure she did not give +you any charge about taking care of her?" + +"I suppose she thought," said Margaret, anxious to evade a reply, "that +as we were in sight it did not signify." + +"But," continued Mr Cunningham, "if Miss Morton left Rose at the top of +the field, and you were near the bridge, she could not have considered +your being there as any security: in fact, I doubt if she could have +seen you; you must have been nearer at first." + +"How you puzzle one, George!" exclaimed his sister. "How is it possible +to remember everything that happened, when we were all so frightened? I +am sure I have felt bewildered ever since." + +"Very possibly," replied Mr Cunningham, coolly. "But you will have the +goodness not to be bewildered now: I must know the whole of this matter. +Miss Morton is going away at a moment when it must be most distressing +to her feelings, upon a charge of great neglect of duty. And I will find +out whether the charge be true or false." + +Lucy looked very frightened; she knew her brother's determination of +character, and saw that there was no chance of escape, unless she chose +to tell an actual falsehood; and this, notwithstanding her propensity to +equivocation and deceit, she could not make up her mind to do. Margaret +endeavoured to steal away unobserved: but Mr Cunningham prevented her. +"You will excuse me; but this is a case in which I must be allowed to +have my own way. I must beg you to remain; you may perhaps be able to +assist Lucy's memory." + +Margaret's colour went and came very quickly, her knees trembled, and +her hand shook: but she did not dare disobey; and seated herself again, +with her face turned from Mr Cunningham, and with the secret resolution +of not speaking, if there were any possibility of avoiding it. + +"Now, Lucy," said Mr Cunningham, again appealing to his sister, "I shall +ask you one simple question, and I expect a decided answer. Did Miss +Morton leave you in charge of Rose?" + +"Really," said Lucy, hesitatingly, "I can't--I don't--you are very cross +this afternoon, George, to come and tease us so, when you know how we +have been frightened, and how very unhappy Margaret is." + +"No one can be more sorry for the cause of her unhappiness than I am," +he replied; "and when my question is answered, I will on no account +tease either of you again. Perhaps you did not quite understand what I +said; I will repeat it. Did Miss Morton leave you in charge of Rose?" + +"You are vexing Margaret, I can see," replied Lucy. "I never thought you +could be so unkind before. We came here to be quiet and alone." + +"This is mere trifling, Lucy," said her brother. "You know full well +that it will not answer with me; nothing will shake my determination of +knowing the truth; and therefore the best thing you can do is, without +any further equivocation, to tell me plainly what I wish to know." + +There was a pause when Mr Cunningham had spoken; neither Lucy nor +Margaret saw the least chance of evading the question, yet neither felt +inclined to answer it. Mr Cunningham placed himself in front of his +sister, looking at her calmly and sternly, and patiently waiting till +she chose to reply; whilst she endeavoured to keep her determination of +steadfastly gazing out of the window, and taking no notice of him. But +it would not do; she stood far too much in awe of him to resist long; +and at length, bursting into a fit of angry tears, she exclaimed, "I +wish Miss Morton, and Rose, and all the family, had stayed at Wayland +all their lives, instead of coming here to make me miserable." + +"Then it is true," said Mr Cunningham. "You were left in charge of +the poor little girl, and you went away from her; and then, when +the accident occurred, you were too cowardly to take the blame upon +yourselves, but occasioned great unhappiness to an innocent person, by +allowing her to be accused unjustly. Yes, Lucy," he continued, observing +that his sister rose hastily from her seat, and was about to leave the +room, "you may well be anxious to hide yourself; but you will not be +allowed to go till you have made the only reparation in your power. +You will confess your fault to Mrs Harrington; I shall let her know +instantly the mistake under which she has been labouring." + +"Pray, pray, don't leave me," cried Lucy, as Margaret tried to escape. +"Why am I to bear it all? you know it was quite as much your doing as +mine." + +But Margaret did not choose to attend; she was willing to be Miss +Cunningham's friend when everything went smoothly, but she saw no reason +for putting herself in the way of her mother's anger unnecessarily. +And Mr Cunningham, having gained his point, hardly felt justified in +interfering any farther. Without again speaking to Lucy, he wrote a +note to Mrs Harrington, apologising for intruding upon her distress, +but begging her to allow him a few moments' conversation on a subject +of much consequence. And when the servant returned with the answer, he +merely said to his sister, "Mrs Harrington will be here directly; +you had better make up your mind to tell the truth in as few words as +possible. It will be out of your power to conceal anything, as Miss +Morton's own account will certainly be compared with yours." + +Mrs Harrington's mind was now in a very different state from what it had +been when Lucy had last seen her. The moments spent by her little girl's +sick-bed had increased her anxiety, and subdued the irritation of her +temper. Her feeling against Miss Morton was deeper, but less vehement; +and occasionally, as she had listened to the moaning of the suffering +child, and heard her repeat Emily's name with a wandering entreaty that +she would come to her, her heart had relented, as she had felt inclined, +for the sake of poor little Rose, to allow Emily to continue at Emmerton +a few days longer. But on a second consideration the idea vanished; and +her only wish then was, never again to be compelled to see or speak to +a person whose neglect she believed had been the cause of so much +wretchedness. Still Mrs Harrington was outwardly much calmer; and her +harsh tones sounded as coldly as ever when she asked Mr Cunningham to +do her the favour of mentioning his wishes quickly, as she could not be +spared from her child's room. + +"It is my sister's business rather than mine," he replied. "She has been +induced, from fear of your displeasure, to conceal her own share in this +most unfortunate accident; and she is now going to confess the truth, in +hopes that you will allow Miss Morton to remain." + +"It was Margaret," exclaimed Miss Cunningham; "I never should have moved +from the gate but for her. I only went to the other side, at first, +because it was drier; and then it did not signify; but it was Margaret +who begged me to go down to the bridge, and look at the pony." + +"And do you mean then," said Mrs Harrington, "that Miss Morton left Rose +with you, and that you went away from her?" + +"We only went into the steep field because it was dry," answered Lucy; +"and Rose was quite in safety." + +"I do not entirely understand you," said Mrs Harrington. "Perhaps you +will have the goodness to explain yourself more clearly." + +Miss Cunningham complied with evident reluctance, yet she did not +venture to distort any of the facts, knowing that her brother would +easily discover the whole truth upon a reference to Miss Morton. She +only endeavoured to lay as much of the blame as possible upon Margaret, +and to make Mrs Harrington believe that she would have spoken before +if she had understood the cause of Miss Morton's sudden departure. The +excuse, however, was too weak to succeed; a bitter smile curled Mrs +Harrington's lip as she said, "You need not trouble yourself to give +your reasons for what you have done; your brother, I am sure, must be +as fully aware of them as I am. Margaret's conduct I shall inquire into +immediately. I am afraid," she added, turning to Mr Cunningham, "there +is a heavy punishment in store for her thoughtlessness and selfishness. +My poor little girl is very ill." + +The real feeling which was expressed in these words, and in the tone +in which they were uttered, touched Mr Cunningham deeply; and his voice +faltered as he replied, "It would be a punishment felt by very many; but +we will hope and pray that it may please God to avert it." + +"I will counter-order the carriage," said Mrs Harrington, recovering +herself, and ringing the bell; "and I will inform Miss Morton of the +change." + +"Perhaps, at the same time," observed Mr Cunningham, "you would allow +me to order our own. My father was speaking to me, just now, of the wish +you had expressed this morning, that our visit should be prolonged; +and doubting if it would be advisable after what has now transpired. Of +course, we would on no account intrude upon you; my sister's presence, I +fear, will never again be anything but painful." + +Mrs Harrington could not contradict his words, and felt at a loss for +a reply, when the entrance of the servant relieved her from the +awkwardness. The carriage, which had just come to the door, was +remanded; and a summons was sent for Miss Morton. + +"You had better prepare for going immediately, Lucy," said her brother. +"And if you have anything farther to say to Mrs Harrington, any apology +to make for your conduct, or any message to leave for Miss Morton as a +proof that you are really sorry for the pain your deceit has occasioned +her, you had better speak at once." + +Lucy, however, did not speak--at least she did not say what her brother +desired; but, muttering sulkily that it was very hard she should have +all the blame, and Margaret none, without venturing to look at Mrs +Harrington, left the room. + +Mr Cunningham quickly followed, in no very enviable state of feeling. +He saw, from Mrs Harrington's manner, that she was seriously alarmed for +Rose; and his sister's indifference was startling to him. He could not +have supposed it possible that she would have been so insensible to the +probable consequence of her neglect; for, with a disposition peculiarly +free from selfishness himself, he did not understand how soon it blinds +us to the sufferings of others, and how quickly it buries, if not +entirely destroys, even in very early life, every better feeling of +human nature. Miss Cunningham was not entirely cold-hearted; it is a +rare thing, indeed, to find any one who is. But she was from nature and +education intensely selfish; and it was this which made her dwell only +upon the blame she had incurred herself, when others might have grieved +for the misery they had caused their friends. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + + +Mrs Harrington's message was delivered to Miss Morton at the moment when +her uneasiness was becoming extreme; and she was endeavouring to make +up her mind to go, without waiting for the effect of Mr Cunningham's +interview with his sister. The carriage had been announced, and Mr +Harrington's well-known dislike to its being kept waiting made her feel +it wrong to delay; though Amy, whose hopes of Mr Cunningham's success, +and dread lest Emily should never see Rose again, overcame every other +consideration, entreated her to wait, if it were only for five minutes, +in the certainty that they must soon hear something from him. + +"It is only deferring the evil moment," said Emily. "I have been trying +to collect resolution to bear it, and I hope I can now. It might be +worse an hour hence. The last accounts were more comfortable; and I know +your mamma will manage that I should hear again to-night. I wish I could +see her; but it will be better not. You must say how I thought of her, +and of the kindness she has shown me." + +"It cannot signify for once," observed Amy, "if the carriage is kept +a few minutes. I am almost sure Mr Cunningham will be able to do +something." + +"It is not real kindness to tell me so," replied Emily; "I shall only +feel it the more difficult to do what is right. Indeed, I must go." + +"Oh no!" exclaimed Amy, trying to stop her, as she moved towards the +door; and at that moment Susan's knock was heard. "It is all right now," +said Amy, when the message was repeated; "my aunt never would have sent +for you if she had not changed her mind." + +Emily thought the same, though she scarcely ventured to hope it; +and Amy's anxiety was nearly at an end, when Susan, who guessed her +feelings, told her that the carriage had been sent away. Miss Morton did +not hear her exclamation of pleasure, or she would perhaps have trembled +less on entering the school-room; but Mrs Harrington's countenance +very soon reassured her. She was evidently aware of having behaved with +impatience and injustice, and desirous of making amends, though her tone +and manner would have seemed painfully repelling in any other person. +Emily, however, thought of nothing but the purport of her words. They +were few and chilling; but she acknowledged that she had been wrong in +her opinion as to Miss Morton's neglect, and said she was sorry that +Margaret and Miss Cunningham had allowed her to remain so long in error. +Their conduct was highly culpable--in fact, quite unpardonable; and +Margaret should certainly be spoken to most seriously on the subject. +But at that moment it was impossible to think of anything but Rose; +and she should be obliged if Miss Morton would go with her to the +poor child's room, that they might see if it were possible to take any +measure for allaying the fever before Dr Bailey arrived. + +Notwithstanding the set, formal style of this speech, it was received +by Emily with the most sincere gratitude, for she knew that it must have +been a great effort for a person of Mrs Harrington's proud temper; and, +considering only the intention, she followed her with a sensation of +indescribable relief, which, on any other occasion, would have appeared +quite incompatible with her great anxiety. Amy was waiting in the +passage, and delayed her for one instant to ask if all were right. The +question was scarcely needed, for Emily's change of countenance was a +sufficient index to her mind; and Amy, as she heard her whisper, "It is +your doing, and I shall never forget it," felt completely satisfied. + +She was now at liberty to go to her mother, who, she feared, might be +astonished at her absence. But Mrs Herbert had not long known her return +from the cottage, and was only just beginning to wonder why she did not +come to her. + +Amy was full of eagerness to tell all that had passed; but her mother's +first inquiry was for Rose. + +"Your aunt particularly begged me to leave her," she said; "and I found +that whilst Miss Morton was there I could not be of any use. But I +really cannot remain here. I can see none of the servants; and I do not +like constantly to ring, because of giving them additional trouble when +there must be so much to be attended to." + +"I don't think they are engaged particularly now, mamma," replied Amy. +"Poor little Rose is quieter, and my aunt does not know what more to +do." + +"Perhaps, then," said Mrs Herbert, "she would not object to my being +with her. I should have no occasion to exert myself much, and I might be +some comfort to Miss Morton at least." + +"A little while since," said Amy, "I am sure Miss Morton would have been +more glad to see you, mamma, than any one else in the world--she was so +very miserable; but she would not let me tell you, because she said it +would worry you and make you ill." + +"What do you mean?" asked Mrs Herbert; "has anything been going on in +which I could have been of use?" + +Amy soon related the whole affair, and concluded by anxiously asking +whether her mamma thought she had done wrong in applying to Mr +Cunningham. + +"No," said Mrs Herbert; "I think, considering all the circumstances, you +were quite right. It would have been a cruel thing for Miss Morton to +have been sent away now. But have you seen Mr Cunningham since? and do +you know whether he is going?" + +"I rather think he is," replied Amy, "for I heard one of the servants +saying something about Lord Rochford's carriage, as I crossed the hall; +and I hope so, very much, for I should not know what to say if I were +to see him again. I could not thank him for having found out that his +sister had done wrong; and yet it was very kind of him. But, mamma, do +you really think poor little Rose is so ill?" + +"I am very much alarmed for her, my dear, she is so young to receive +such a shock; and I have often thought her delicate, myself, though no +one agreed with me." + +"What will Miss Morton do?" said Amy. + +"She will feel it very bitterly," replied Mrs Herbert. "Rose was her +chief earthly comfort; but she will not murmur." + +"And all her long life to come," said Amy, "there will be nothing to +look to--nothing that she will care for." + +"Yes," replied Mrs Herbert, "there will be things to care for--and there +must be, while she has duties to perform; and it is distrusting the love +and providence of God to think that He will not give her comfort and +peace again. If her mind were different, it might be feared that she +required years of suffering to perfect her character; but as it is, we +may hope and believe that she will never be entirely destitute even of +earthly happiness." + +"I cannot bear to think of her." exclaimed Amy, while the tears rushed +to her eyes. "It seems so hard--so very hard, that she should suffer. +And Rose, too,--Oh mamma! she is so young to die." + +"And therefore, my dear, it is the greater mercy that she should be +taken from a sinful world. Do you not remember that beautiful verse in +the Bible?--'The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: +and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is +taken away from the evil to come.' If death is thus sent as a blessing +to the good, surely we may think that it is sent equally in love to the +innocent." + +"Mamma," replied Amy, as she looked in her mother's face, "you say so; +but I am sure it makes you very unhappy." + +"I cannot talk about it now," said Mrs Herbert; "it will only unfit me +for doing what I can to comfort your aunt and uncle, and Miss Morton. +When your papa returns, I shall certainly go and beg them to let me be +with them." + +"I think," observed Amy, listening at the door, "I can hear a noise +down-stairs as if some one were just come." + +"I wish it may be your uncle and Dr Bailey," said Mrs Herbert. + +"No," replied Amy; "it is papa; I am sure it is his voice. He is talking +to Bridget; and she will keep him so long." + +But Colonel Herbert was not a person to be detained by any one when he +did not choose it. He quickly learned the outline of what had happened, +and then hurried away to learn more of the details from his wife. Mrs +Herbert, however, would not remain long with him. She could not endure +the idea of being away from Rose, when every fresh account served only +to increase her alarm; and, leaving Amy to answer all his questions, she +went to Mrs Harrington with an earnest request to be allowed to stay in +the room, even if it were not in her power to be of use. + +Mrs Harrington was by this time in a state of such nervousness and +excitement, that she scarcely comprehended what was said. She knew only +that Mr Harrington ought to have returned long before; and that his +continued delay might be fatal to the life of her child. Miss Morton did +her utmost to soothe her; but her own anxiety was very great. Rose still +continued in the same state, tossing from side to side, and occasionally +fixing her eyes upon Emily, as she bent over her, with the fixed, +unnatural gaze, which told, even more plainly than words, that reason +had fled. + +Dora took the opportunity of her aunt's presence to leave the room. She +wished very much to see Margaret, and talk a little to Amy; and felt +oppressed and confused by the sight of an illness which painfully +recalled all she had suffered on her brother's account, only a few +months before. Any active exertion would have been easily borne; but to +sit by the side of a sick-bed, perfectly powerless, required a patient, +trusting spirit, which as yet Dora was far from possessing. And she +watched with astonishment the calm self-composure with which Emily +Morton did all that was necessary for Rose, and then turned to Mrs +Harrington to suggest a reason for Dr Bailey's delay, or give her some +hope that the symptoms were rather more favourable. + +Colonel Herbert was listening to Amy with a deep yet painful interest +when Dora knocked at the door. She would have gone away, on seeing him; +but he would not allow it, and, placing an arm-chair by the fireside, +made her sit down, and begged her to stay with Amy, just as long as she +liked; for he was sure she must want some one to talk to when she was in +so much distress. Amy evidently did not quite like her papa to go away; +and Dora, vexed at having interrupted their conversation, entreated him +so earnestly to stay, that he could not refuse, though he determined not +to be a restraint upon them for more than a few minutes. + +"Papa knows everything now," said Amy. "I had just finished telling him +when you came in." + +"I met Lord Rochford's carriage on the road," observed Colonel Herbert; +"and they stopped, and told me what had happened. I am afraid, Dora, +your poor mamma must be in a dreadful state of suspense and alarm." + +"I think Margaret is more unhappy than any one," said Dora. "She +was crying so bitterly when I went to her room just now; and she had +fastened her door, and would not let me in at first." + +"She will never forgive me for having spoken to Mr Cunningham," said +Amy. + +"Yes," replied Colonel Herbert; "she will forgive everything when she +can forgive herself." + +"Now Lucy is gone," said Dora, "she is left quite alone; and she thinks +every one in the house is complaining of her, and that she is the cause +of all mamma's misery; and she does not dare go out of her room for fear +of meeting her." + +"I wish she would let me go to her," said Amy; "I am sure she must +think I have been very unkind. But indeed I did not mean to make her so +wretched; I only thought of Miss Morton." + +"She cares more about poor Rose now than anything else," replied Dora. +"She says it will make her miserable for life, if she does not get +better. And I know I should feel just the same. It would be so very +dreadful to think of having caused such an accident." + +"But," said Colonel Herbert, "it certainly seems to me that Margaret's +deceit in Miss Morton's case was far worse than her having left Rose." + +"Only the consequences may be so much worse," said Dora. + +"The consequences of our actions are not in our own power, my dear +Dora," answered her uncle. "If we look to them, we may just as well say +that Miss Morton ought to be miserable, or the poor man who drove the +cows into the field, they all had a share in the accident." + +"Certainly," said Dora, "when Margaret and I were talking together just +now, we traced it all back to Julia Stanley and Mary Warner. It was they +who made Lucy so angry. And if it had not been for that, Margaret says +she never should have asked her to go out; and then Emily Morton would +not have left poor little Rose with them, and the accident would not +have happened. How unhappy they would be if they knew all that had +occurred from their laughing at Lucy and saying foolish things." + +"It is a great blessing," said Colonel Herbert, "that we are not in +general permitted to see the consequences of our actions; if we were, +we should be afraid either to move or speak; but I believe God sometimes +does show them to us, in order to make us fearful of doing the slightest +thing that is wrong. When we have once known all the evils that a hasty +word or selfish action may bring upon ourselves or upon others, we shall +learn how carefully we ought to walk through life, avoiding, as the +Bible says, even the appearance of evil." + +"But, papa," said Amy, "if we do not think of the consequences of what +we do, how shall we ever be able to tell what is right?" + +"Do you not see, my dear child," replied Colonel Herbert, "that we never +can tell the consequences of anything? we do not know what is going to +happen the next minute; and therefore we must have some other guide." + +"It is very difficult sometimes to find out what is right," said Amy. + +"The best way of discovering our duty, my dear," replied her father, +"is to have a sincere wish of doing it. People puzzle themselves because +they do not really make up their minds to fulfil their duty, whatever +may happen. They wish to escape if they can; and then they begin to +think of the consequences, and so they become bewildered, and at last +nearly lose their power of discerning right from wrong. You know, Amy, +what our Saviour calls 'an honest and true heart;' if we possess +that, we have a better guide for our conduct than any which the wisest +philosopher could give us." + +"I think I wished to do what was right just now, papa," said Amy; "but +yet I could not make up my mind about it." + +"I do not mean to say," answered Colonel Herbert, "that we shall always +be able to decide at once; but I am sure that, if we patiently wait and +pray to God to assist us, we shall find that something will happen, as +was the case with yourself when you could not resolve upon speaking to +Mr Cunningham, which will make it quite clear to us where our duty lies; +only, generally speaking, persons cannot endure suspense and doubt, +and so they act hastily, even with good intentions, and then blame +themselves when it is too late." + +"What did happen just now?" asked Dora. + +Amy hesitated for a reply; she could not repeat the fears that were +entertained for Rose; but her father came to her assistance, "One of the +servants had seen Miss Morton," he replied, "and told her that your +poor little sister was not so well; and the description of Miss Morton's +distress decided Amy upon applying to Mr Cunningham." + +"I would give all the world," exclaimed Dora, "if Dr Bailey were come; +and it would ease Margaret's mind so much too." + +"I wish it were possible to comfort her," observed Colonel Herbert; "but +I am afraid it would be out of the power of any one at present." + +"Oh, if Rose should but get well!" exclaimed Dora, "we shall all be +happy again then." + +"Yes," replied her uncle; "but do you not see, my dear Dora, that +nothing can really make any difference in Margaret's conduct?" + +"Indeed, uncle," said Dora, "it would be impossible not to feel +differently." + +"I will quite allow that," replied Colonel Herbert; "and I am not +wishing so much that Margaret should care less about Rose, as that she +should care more about Miss Morton. The one fault was far greater than +the other; and we must never forget that sorrow for the consequences +of our faults is not repentance; it will not keep us from sinning again +when the temptation offers. The only sorrow which can really be of +service to us is that which makes us shrink from an evil action when it +is done in secret, and apparently without having any effect upon others. +I mean," he added, seeing Dora look surprised, "that we must learn to +dread deceit, and selfishness, and vanity, for their own sake, because +they are hateful to God, not because they make us disliked by our +fellow-creatures." + +Dora could not entirely see the distinction; she thought her uncle +harsh in his manner of speaking of Margaret; and Colonel Herbert soon +perceived by her silence that she did not enter into what he had been +saying; he did not, however, like to pursue the subject any further, +for it hardly seemed the moment to discuss questions of right and wrong, +when Dora's mind was in a state of so much anxiety; and he therefore +contented himself with begging her not to think that he could not feel +for Margaret most sincerely, because he wished that she could see her +actions in a just point of view. "I am a stranger to her as yet," he +said; "but I shall hope soon to show how real an interest I take in her, +and in all of you. Even if I were not so nearly connected, I could not +forget the kindness and affection you have shown to Amy, and that some +of her happiest moments have been spent with you." + +Dora's heart was a little softened by this speech; neither could she +easily resist the polished dignity of Colonel Herbert's manner, which +gave a peculiar charm to every expression of feeling. She did not, +however, choose to acknowledge it, and exclaimed, when he left the room, +"Your papa is so different from every one else, Amy; he almost frightens +me. I wonder you could talk to him as you did this morning." + +"I don't feel comfortable always," said Amy; "especially just at first +when I begin; but afterwards I forget everything but the pleasure of +having him home again, and then I can get on quite well." + +"I wish Julia Stanley had talked to him a little," observed Dora; "he +would have put her down delightfully." + +"I wanted to ask you a few questions about her and the others," said +Amy; "but there has been no time; and no one has been able to think of +common things. Perhaps, though, you would rather not tell me about them +now." + +"Yes, I would," replied Dora. "I think it does me good to forget for a +few minutes. I sat in that room just now, looking at poor little +Rose, and watching mamma's misery, till I felt as if I could not +breathe--there was such a weight upon me; and it will come back again +presently." + +"Don't fancy that," replied Amy; "it may all be right by and by." + +"I cannot think so," said Dora. "I have often had a fear about Rose, +though I hardly know why; but she was so beautiful and innocent, and +everyone loved her so--she seemed born for something better than living +amongst persons who are always doing wrong. Do you remember, Amy, the +day we went together to Stephen's cottage, when he talked so gravely, +and said that she had an angel's face, and that it was fitter for heaven +than for earth? It gave me a pang to hear him; and I have thought of it +so often this afternoon." + +"I remember it quite well," said Amy; "and how grave you looked +afterwards. But, Dora, would it not make you very happy to know that you +never could do wrong any more?" + +"Yes. And then Rose has never done any great harm as other people have, +who are older; and, besides, she cannot look forward to anything." + +"That is what I feel sometimes," said Amy. "It seems as if there were so +many things to be seen in the world, and so much pleasure to come when +one is grown up. I can quite understand that old people do not care +about dying, or persons like Miss Morton, who have nothing to make them +happy; but I cannot feel like them." + +"Poor Emily!" sighed Dora; "she will be more unhappy than any one." +And then, as if trying to shake off painful thoughts, she added, in a +different tone, "But, Amy, you must tell me at once what you wish to +know about Julia Stanley, or I shall have no time left. I promised +Margaret to go back to her for a few minutes." + +"It was nothing particular," said Amy; "only I wanted to hear what +time they went away, and whether Mary Warner said anything more to Miss +Cunningham." + +"Lucy and Margaret went out almost immediately after you were gone," +replied Dora; "so they did not meet again; and I don't think it would +have been of any use if they had, for there was nothing really to be +said--Mary had done no harm; and I am sure Julia Stanley would have +rendered matters ten times worse if an apology had been made in her +presence. She tried to make Mary as angry and pert as herself, but it +would not do; and at last she quite laughed at her, and called her a +tame-spirited girl, who was not fit to go through the world; and then +Hester took Miss Cunningham's part, and said that they neither of them +knew how to behave, and she would appeal to me to support her; so you +may imagine my walk was not very agreeable; and I was quite glad when we +came back to find that the carriage had been ordered and they were to go +directly. They all left messages for you, Amy, excepting Mary, who told +me she had seen you. Julia was really kind, and begged me to say how +glad she was about your papa's coming home, and that she wanted to have +told you so herself; and Hester joined with her, but I don't think she +really cared much." + +"And Mrs Danvers," said Amy; "when did she go?" + +"Directly after breakfast; because she was afraid of the children being +out late. I wish, oh, how I wish she had stayed, for then Rose would not +have been taken for a walk. They had all left us before one o'clock; and +Mr Dornford prevailed on papa to let Frank return with him for a day or +two." + +"I shall never think of any of them with much pleasure," said Amy; +"though I enjoyed some things when they were here very much. I wonder +whether they will ever stay with you again." + +"I don't know," replied Dora. "Mary Warner may, perhaps, because her +home is not very far off; but Mr Stanley intends to live in London soon; +so that unless we meet there, I suppose there is not much chance of +their ever coming in our way again. But one thing more, Amy, I must tell +you: I saw Mr Cunningham and Lucy before they set off. Lucy was very +sulky, and would hardly speak; but Mr Cunningham was extremely kind; and +I could see how much he felt for us all. He begged particularly to be +remembered to you, and said he wished he could have said good-bye to +you." + +"I think he is the kindest person I ever met with," replied Amy; "but +still I am very glad he went away. And if I had seen Miss Cunningham, I +cannot think what I should have done." + +"Perhaps her brother will not speak of you," said Dora; "but as it is, +I don't think she is very fond of you. She looked more sulky than ever +when your name was mentioned. And now I think I have given you the +history of every one, so I had better go to poor Margaret." + +"Margaret will not like to see me, I am sure," observed Amy. "But I wish +you could tell her how sorry I am,--I don't mean that you should give +her a message; but only if, in talking to her, you could make her think +me less unkind." + +"She does not know that you had anything to do with the affair," replied +Dora. + +"But I would much rather she should know," said Amy, looking vexed. "I +could never bear her to love me, and yet feel all the time that I had +been deceiving her." + +"I will tell her, if you desire it: I did not like to do it before. But +if I were in your place I could not keep such a thing back." + +"No," answered Amy; "I do not wish any one to love me when they do not +know I have done things to vex them: it would seem as if I were taking +what did not belong to me. But, Dora, perhaps you will say to Margaret, +now that I wished her to know it myself, and that I am very, very sorry +about it, and that I hope, with all my heart, she will forgive me." + +"She would never be angry with you if she felt as I do," said Dora. + +"Hark!" exclaimed Amy, interrupting her, "is not that the hall +door-bell?" + +Dora ran into the gallery to listen, but came back with a disappointed +countenance. "It was not the bell," she said; "but I could see the groom +who went with papa riding down the avenue, what can have made him return +alone?" + +Amy had scarcely time to answer before Dora was gone to make inquiries. +They were not satisfactorily answered. Mr Harrington had not found Dr +Bailey at home, but hearing that he was only absent on a visit to a +patient, about a mile from his own house, he thought it better to follow +him himself, and had sent the servant back with a little pencil note, +explaining the reason of the further delay. The information, however, in +some degree relieved Mrs Harrington's uneasiness, for a thousand vague +fears had arisen in her mind; and notwithstanding her alarm for her +child, she could now feel comparatively composed. + +Rose also was again becoming more tranquil; and her mother began to +cheer herself with the hope that even before Dr Bailey's arrival, there +might be a considerable change for the better. But in this hope Emily +Morton did not participate. Though equally anxious, she watched every +symptom with far greater calmness; and, young as she was, had seen too +much of illness not to perceive that the change which appeared to be +taking place was likely to end fatally, unless Rose possessed a +strength of constitution sufficient to enable her to bear up against the +excessive weakness with which it was accompanied. The remedies that +had already been tried had in a measure allayed the fever; but the poor +little girl was evidently suffering from some internal injury; and her +low moanings were as distressing to Emily now as her vehemence had been +before. + +The moments passed wearily by. Colonel Herbert and Amy walked up and +down the avenue, although the evening had closed in, listening for the +trampling of the horses' feet: Dora remained with her sister; and Mrs +Herbert sat in the chamber of the sick child, forgetful of herself, as +she tried to console those whose sorrow was greater than her own. +Emily Morton was the first in the house to catch the distant sound; and +immediately afterwards Amy's voice was heard at the door, whispering +that her uncle and Dr Bailey were just arrived. Emily left the room, +thinking that Mrs Harrington might prefer her being absent; and while +the physician was deciding upon a case on which it seemed that her +own life depended, she paced the gallery quickly with Amy at her +side, without uttering a single expression either of hope or fear, and +endeavouring to bring her mind into a state of perfect submission to +whatever it might be the will of God to appoint. + +Much as Emily had loved Rose before, though she had been for months the +very sunshine of her existence--the one bright gem which alone gave +a charm to her daily life--she had never fully realised how much her +happiness depended upon her till that moment; and when at length the +door again opened, and Mr Harrington and the physician came into the +gallery, all power of utterance seemed denied her, and unconsciously she +caught Dr Bailey's arm, and looked in his face, with an expression of +such fearful anxiety, that, accustomed as he was to scenes of suffering, +it for the moment almost overcame him. But even before he had spoken +Emily had learned the truth from Mr Harrington's countenance. She had +never seen the same look of anguish before but on one occasion, when he +stood by the death-bed of his eldest son. "I know it," she exclaimed, +with the same unnatural hollowness of voice which had startled Amy +before: "you need not tell me; I felt there was no hope." + +"We will not say there is no hope," replied Dr Bailey, kindly, yet +gravely. "She is so young that her strength may rally again." + +"It is better to know the worst at once," said Mr Harrington. "But can +you indeed do nothing?" + +"I fear not," was the reply. "There is apparently some internal +mischief. But of course I will do everything that lies in my power; and +I shall hope to return here very early in the morning, when I shall be +better able to judge of the case from the effect of the medicines I have +ordered." + +"Do you think she will know us again?" asked Emily, rousing herself from +the first stupor of grief. + +"It is probable she may," replied Dr Bailey. "The fever will most +probably diminish; and the pain she is suffering may, I think, be +soothed by opiates." + +"And is it quite impossible that you should remain with us to-night?" +inquired Mr Harrington. "I need not say that where the life of my child +is at stake no sacrifice would be too great." + +"You must not talk of sacrifices," replied Dr Bailey. "No one could look +at that sweet child without feeling that to be the means of restoring +her would be more than a sufficient recompense for the greatest +exertions. If it were not that I have a still more urgent case requiring +my presence, nothing would induce me to go. But I have no immediate fear +for your poor little girl; there is not likely to be any great change +for several hours; and you must remember she may rally after all." + +Whilst Dr Bailey was speaking, Amy had brought a chair for Miss Morton, +and stood by her side, earnestly desiring to comfort her, yet not daring +to do more than show it by her manner. It was a grief so deep that she +could not venture to speak of it; and her own tears fell fast, as she +remembered what Rose had been, only a few hours before, and thought of +the condition to which she was now reduced. + +But a few more words passed between Mr Harrington and Dr Bailey; and +when they parted, there was a promise given, that, if possible, the +latter should return to Emmerton by day-break. Mr Harrington was rather +relieved by the idea, and hastened to his wife to give her the same +comfort; but he found her in a state which rendered her incapable of +receiving it. Her expectations had been so sanguine before Dr Bailey's +arrival, and she had hoped so much from the decrease of the fever, that +the disappointment was doubly felt, and she now required almost as much +attention as Rose. Cold as she generally appeared, her affection for her +children was very great; and Rose from her infancy had been her especial +delight; and now that she was called suddenly to part from her, at a +time when she was still suffering from the loss of her eldest boy, her +whole mind seemed to sink under the trial. Emily Morton's love, indeed, +was not less; but there was a principle to support her, of which Mrs +Harrington knew but little; for she felt only that Rose was dying, and +her thoughts could not dwell with comfort upon the world in which +she would live again. At this season of distress the blessing of Mrs +Herbert's presence was particularly felt. The sight of so much sorrow +made her insensible to all pain or fatigue; she seemed to possess a +power of thought and feeling for every one; and her natural energy +enabled her to decide at once upon what was best to be done. + +Dr Bailey's orders for Rose were quickly attended to; Mrs Harrington was +conveyed to her own room almost insensible; and a few words of kindness +and sympathy were spoken to Emily, which gradually recalled the feeling +of resignation to which her mind had been so long tutored, and restored +her power of action. Mr Harrington went himself to inform Dora and +Margaret of Dr Bailey's opinion, and then stationed himself at the door +of the sick chamber, that he might be informed of every change that took +place; whilst Amy, after doing her utmost to assist Mrs Herbert, went +to her father, who was now left solitary and anxious in the room, which +only the evening before had been filled with company, and resounding +with music and merriment. The contrast was indeed strange; and Amy, +when thinking of it, could scarcely believe it possible that so much +had happened in so short a space of time. It was her first lesson in +the changes of life; and it spoke even more plainly than her mother's +warnings of the utter insufficiency of wealth to afford anything like +real happiness. At that hour she felt how little comfort her uncle could +derive from being possessed of the means of gratifying every passing +fancy. He would have sacrificed all, without a thought, to have restored +his child to health; but his riches and his luxuries were powerless; +and the one only consolation now remaining was that blessing of prayer, +which was equally the privilege of the poorest of his neighbours. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + + +Margaret's feelings, upon being first told of Dr Bailey's opinion, were +bitter beyond expression. She accused herself of having been the cause +of all that had happened; and declared that unless Rose recovered she +should never again know a happy moment; and then, as the burst of sorrow +subsided, she endeavoured to find some excuse for her own conduct in +that of Miss Cunningham, appealing to Dora to determine whether, if +it had not been for her, she should have been induced to leave Rose by +herself. Dora tried to console her; but she could not help remembering +what Colonel Herbert had said; for she saw that Margaret had no idea +how faulty her conduct had been with regard to Miss Morton; so entirely, +indeed, had it passed from her mind, that even when told of what Amy had +thought it right to do, she took but little notice, merely saying that +she had always thought Amy loved to meddle with everything, and then +renewing her self-reproach and her complaints of Miss Cunningham. For +some time she could not be persuaded to leave her room; but, as the +hours wore away, she became more tranquil, and at last consented to go +to her little sister, though it was with a shrinking reluctance, which +proved how much she dreaded to look upon the change of which she had +been partly the cause. The effect, however, was at first less painful +than might have been expected. The medicines which had been administered +had in a great degree lulled the pain, and Rose was now lying in a +state of torpor. Margaret gazed on her for some moments in silence, +but without any great apparent distress, until Rose opened her eyes and +looked up in her face with perfect unconsciousness; and then her cheek +turned pale, and her lip quivered, and, unable to bear the sight, she +turned hastily away, and again shut herself up in her own room. + +Several hours passed after Dr Bailey's departure, and Rose still +continued so quiet, that a faint hope was felt even by Emily Morton that +her strength of constitution would enable her to rally from the shock +she had received. Mrs Herbert also fancied that she perceived some signs +of returning intelligence, and went herself to Mr Harrington to cheer +him with the favourable account, and to ask whether he thought it would +be expedient to communicate it to Mrs Harrington; but the amendment was +so trifling, that he feared the consequences of a second disappointment. +She was therefore only told that Rose was more tranquil, and that +everything had been done which Dr Bailey advised; and Mrs Herbert +urged the necessity of her taking some rest, if she wished to be of any +service in attending upon her child on the following day. At first she +strenuously resisted, but her husband's entreaties at length prevailed; +and, after some consultation, it was decided that Morris and Emily +Morton should watch till the morning, and that Mrs Harrington should +have the earliest intelligence if any change took place for the worse. +Mr Harrington went to his room, but not to rest, still less to sleep. +There were none, indeed, in the house who could obtain more than a few +moments of forgetfulness. The slightest sound was listened for with +anxiety; but through the greater part of the night all remained still, +and nothing but the light which gleamed from the sick chamber would have +indicated that any thing unusual had occurred. During this time there +was no change to excite either hope or fear; and Emily, as she observed +the perfect repose in which Rose was lying, almost hoped that she slept. +The painful expression of a wandering mind had passed away, and but +for the irregular breathing and the altered complexion, she could have +imagined that her anxiety was a delusion. And yet the thought that Rose +might recover did not bring with it entire happiness. In those silent +hours of watching, Emily's mind had recovered its usual tone, and she +had forced herself to look with steadiness upon the loss she dreaded. +For herself, it would be the severing of her dearest earthly tie; but +for Rose, it would be an escape from all the dangers of the world to the +enjoyment of rest and peace for ever; and as she recurred to the bitter +trials of her own life, and the sins and infirmities with which it had +been crowded, she felt that to wish that one as yet so innocent should +be spared to struggle with the same temptations would be merely +a selfish regard to her own feelings, without any reference to +considerations of far higher importance. + +What Rose might be in after-life no one could dare to say. When she grew +up Emily must leave Emmerton; and, though she could trust and hope that +God would guard her through the difficulties of life, she could not but +tremble for her. To lose her now, would be to feel that she was gone +to happiness; to lose her then, might be to dread lest she should have +forgotten the promise of her baptism, and departed from the path of +holiness in which she had so earnestly endeavoured to lead her. The very +possibility was fearful; and as it flashed upon her mind, Emily went +to the window to relieve herself from the oppressive gloom of a sick +chamber, by looking upon the heavenly beauty of a cloud-less night. All +was perfectly still; the long shadows of the trees were motionless upon +the lawn, and not even a leaf was stirred by the night breeze. The earth +seemed to be at rest; but Emily well knew that the peace of that hour +would quickly pass away, and that the morning might bring with it rain +and storms to deface all that now appeared so fair. It was not upon the +beauty of this world that her heart could dwell with comfort at such a +moment; but she could look upon the bright stars which glittered above +her head, and rejoice to think that there were homes where sorrow had +never entered; and then she prayed, not that Rose might be restored to +her, but that God would guard her whether in life or death, and grant to +herself a perfect submission to His will. + +Emily was still standing at the window when a slight sound startled her. +She fancied that Rose had spoken; but Morris, who was at the further end +of the room, had not noticed it. Again, however, her name was repeated +distinctly; and when she went to the bed-side, she saw by the light +of the lamp, that Rose had opened her eyes, and was gazing around, +apparently bewildered with the new situation in which she found herself. +At the first instant, Emily's heart bounded with joy, but another glance +made it sink in despair. Rose had recovered her senses; but a change had +passed over her countenance, which told that her hours were numbered. It +was an expression that Emily had too often watched to be deceived; and +anxiously beckoning to Morris, she determined upon sending immediately +to Mr Harrington. Morris, however, was leaving the room, and did not +observe her; and afraid of startling Mrs Harrington by ringing the bell, +she thought it best to wait a few minutes for her return, and endeavour +in the meantime to soothe and tranquillise the suffering child. "I am +near you," she said, softly. "You know, my darling, that I never leave +you." + +"I thought you were gone," said Rose. "Why do you let me stay here?" + +"Because it is better for you to be here than in any other place. You +will not care if I am with you." + +"It is all strange," said Rose. "When will you take me away?" + +"If you are better, you may go by and by," answered Emily, hardly able +to articulate the words; "but you are too ill now." + +Rose tried to lift her little hand to her head, but she had not strength +for the effort. "It pains me so," she said. + +"But it is God who sends you the pain," replied Emily; "and He loves you +so much, you will try and bear it." + +"Will He make me die?" asked Rose, fixing her dark eyes earnestly upon +Emily's face. + +For a moment Emily could not answer; and then, recovering herself, +she said, "If God should make you die, my darling, He will take you to +heaven; and you will live with Him, and with Jesus Christ, and the holy +angels. You will not be afraid?" + +"Must I go alone?" continued Rose. "You always said you would be with me +everywhere." + +"It is not God's will," replied Emily. "I must not go with you now, but +I will pray that I may follow you by and by. And He will watch over you, +and love you much more than I can; and you will be so happy, so very +happy, you will never wish to return back again." + +"Then you will come soon, and mamma, and papa, and all," murmured Rose, +whilst her head sank, and her eyes closed. + +Emily, in alarm, was about to ring the bell, when she again opened them. +"Don't go," she said, feebly clasping Emily's hand. "It is all dark. Why +will not mamma come?" + +"She will be here directly, I hope," replied Emily. "But it is not +really dark; and God is near, and the angels, though you cannot see +them." + +A second time Rose closed her eyes, and appeared to be repeating +something to herself. Emily gently withdrew her hand, and going to the +other side of the room, she rang to summon Morris. Rose looked at her as +she stood again by her side, but scarcely seemed to know her, till +Emily placed her hand on hers; and then, with an effort, she said, "am I +naughty? Indeed I cannot remember it." + +"Remember what?" asked Emily, anxiously endeavouring to catch the reply. + +"Say it, say it," murmured the dying child. + +Emily bent still closer, and heard the words--"Our Father, which art in +heaven," though they were so faint as hardly to be intelligible. "I will +say it for you," she replied, summoning all her self-command to subdue +the agony of her feelings; and, kneeling down, she repeated, calmly and +distinctly, the holy prayer which Rose had been taught in her earliest +infancy, and which was now recurring to her mind, to bless and soothe +her death-bed. + +Whilst Emily was yet speaking, Mrs Harrington, followed by her husband, +who had been alarmed at the sound of the bell, entered the room; but +Rose did not appear to notice them. A momentary strength had been +granted her, and with a clear though feeble voice, she followed the +prayer to the end; and then, stretching out her little hand, she said, +"Mamma, it is bright now. They are come to take me." And with a faint +smile, as she half repeated Emily's name, her head once more sank upon +the pillow, and the innocent spirit was at rest. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + + +It was happy for Emily Morton that the attention which Mrs Harrington's +situation demanded, when the fact of her loss forced itself upon +her mind, obliged her in some degree to forget the misery of her own +feelings. So much was required to be done, that she had no time to +realise the vast blank which that one moment had made in her existence; +and her chief anxiety now was to prevent Mrs Herbert from being +disturbed. This, however, was impossible. She had not, indeed, heard the +bell; but she soon learned all that had happened, and went directly to +Mrs Harrington's room to entreat that Emily would allow her to take +her place, and at least lie down for a few hours herself, even if sleep +were, as she feared, out of the question. But Emily's only support was +in exertion. To have been left alone in her own chamber, with everything +around to remind her of the treasure which had been taken from her, +would have been a trial so great that she could not suffer herself to +dwell upon it. "I must stay," she said; "it is all I can do; and I do +not need rest." + +Mrs Herbert looked at her anxiously. "You do not know what you need just +now, my dear; but perhaps you are right; only," she added, as she kissed +Emily's burning forehead, and observed the trembling of her limbs, "I +have felt lately almost as if you were my eldest child; and you must +allow me a mother's authority." + +Emily could not answer; but Mrs Herbert's affection, even in that hour +of bitterness, relieved the oppressive sense of desolation which had +before weighed her spirit to the earth; and when again left to herself, +she was able to dwell with greater composure upon the scene through +which she had just passed, and felt truly thankful that her prayers had +been heard, and that strength had been given her to support it. + +The morning had dawned before Mrs Harrington was sufficiently recovered +to allow of her being left; and while Emily was still lingering, unable +to summon resolution to go to her own room, a gentle knock was heard at +the door, and Amy's voice asked permission to enter. "Mamma sent me," +she said, as calmly as her agitation would allow. "She wishes you so +much to go to bed; and we have been getting my room ready for you, +that you may be near us, if you want anything. I am to be in mamma's +sitting-room, so that no one shall go to you unless you like it." + +"You had better go," observed Mrs Harrington, faintly; "you must require +rest more than any one. Pray do not stay with me." + +Emily hesitated. She thought that, if the effort she dreaded were made +at once, the most painful trial would be over. But Amy's pleading look +could not be resisted. "It has been my only comfort the last half hour," +she continued, "to try and make all nice for you; and poor Dora has been +helping me; and Margaret sent her love to you, only she cannot bear to +see any one." + +"You must go," insisted Mrs Harrington, "If Morris is left with me, I +shall not require any one else." And Emily did not wait any longer, for +she was beginning to suffer from the effects of all she had undergone. + +The room had been so prepared by Amy's thoughtfulness, that it almost +looked as if Emily had inhabited it for weeks; and little as she then +cared for personal comfort, she yet felt unspeakably relieved by these +tokens of affection; for a child's love had lately been so associated +with every thought and feeling, that without it there was an aching void +in her heart which nothing else could fill. + +Her rest, if such it could be called, was short and broken; but in her +half-waking intervals. Amy's face came before her with its expression of +peaceful innocence, as if to remind her that something was still left in +the world to which her affections might cling: and when she arose to the +full consciousness of sorrow, her first comfort was the thought that +it was God who had ordained her trial, and the second that He had +remembered her in her distress, by giving her such friends as she felt +Mrs Herbert and Amy to be. + +The day passed slowly on, but Emily had neither the power nor the +inclination to leave her chamber. She was completely exhausted by the +night's fatigue; and Mrs Herbert entreated her on no account to make any +exertion, till her strength had been in some degree recruited. There +was not much indeed required, for Mrs Harrington had been considerably +refreshed by a few hours of sleep, but her spirit was entirely crushed +by the blow. She seldom spoke, or paid any attention to what was going +on, but sat gazing upon vacancy, or walking up and down the room, +unmindful of every effort that was made to rouse her. It was now +that Dora's energy and principle were fully called into action. The +selfishness which she had sometimes previously shown had been the result +rather of education than disposition; and she had lately struggled so +much against it, that, at a time when every feeling of sympathy and +affection was awakened, it seemed entirely to disappear. She attended +upon her mother, and talked to her father, and comforted Margaret, +without apparently once consulting her own wishes, though there were +moments when the recollection of Rose, or the sight of some book or +plaything which had belonged to her, brought such a pang to her heart, +that she longed to rush away and give vent to the misery of her feelings +alone. + +Mrs Herbert would probably have suffered much from her exertions if it +had not been for Dora's assistance; but she was able in consequence to +spend the afternoon in her own room; and however she might sympathise +in the grief of her brother and his family, there was a happiness in +the knowledge that her husband was near, which nothing could entirely +destroy. Her chief anxiety was for Emily Morton. She knew that the first +bitterness of sorrow would in time be diminished, and that even Mrs +Harrington would probably soon recover from its present overpowering +effects; but to Emily the change it would cause must be lasting. There +was but little prospect of her continuing at Emmerton, now that her +principal occupation was taken from her; and Mrs Herbert shrunk from +the thought of her being sent again amongst strangers, to meet, perhaps, +with still greater scorn and neglect than she had yet experienced. She +had no home and but few friends, and might, therefore, be compelled to +go immediately into another situation, with the recollection of little +Rose weighing upon her spirit, and adding tenfold bitterness to the +trials she would probably be called on to encounter. + +Mrs Herbert was thinking upon this subject, and endeavouring to form +some plan for Emily's comfort, when her husband entered. He had been +talking with Mr Harrington, and had left him, he hoped, more tranquil +and resigned. + +"I am not so much afraid for him," said Mrs Herbert, "as for my sister. +A person of her disposition can seldom entirely recover from a sudden +shock of this nature." + +"Perhaps," he replied, "it may not be intended that she should. One +hardly likes to think of the reason for which afflictions are sent to +others, because one may judge so wrongly; yet a deep, quiet, lasting +grief will sometimes, I am sure, win back our hearts to God when +everything else has failed." + +"Poor Charlotte!" said Mrs Herbert; "it is a bitter discipline. And I +never see other people suffer without thinking that I may require it +next myself." + +"Have you seen Miss Morton lately?" asked Colonel Herbert, + +"I am afraid the change this will bring upon her will be greater than +upon any one, as far as outward circumstances go." + +"Amy has been keeping watch upon her all day, and told me just now she +thought that she was trying to sleep again, so I did not like to disturb +her; and indeed I have only seen her twice since the morning, and then +only for a few minutes, for I saw she required rest and solitude more +than anything else." + +"She will scarcely remain here now," said Colonel Herbert. + +"Her chief employment and interest will be gone. And I suppose she would +not be happy even if Mrs Harrington wished her to continue." + +"Charlotte will not wish it. She told me a short time since that her +principal reason for desiring to keep Miss Morton was on account of +little Rose, as Dora and Margaret did not like having her in the house, +and she felt herself that the position was an awkward one. She did not +choose her to be a companion; and she was not old enough to have any +authority." + +"And what will become of her?" said Colonel Herbert. + +"She will go into another situation as soon as possible; but the +difficulty will be to find one that will suit her." + +"It will be a miserable life for her, I fear," he continued. "Some +people seem born to struggle against the hardships of the world; but she +is so very gentle that it appeals as if the smallest unkindness would +completely crush her." + +"You do not know her," replied Mrs Herbert. "She can never be crushed +by anything, not even by the grief which she is now enduring. Her +principles are far too high." + +Colonel Herbert paced the room thoughtfully for several minutes; and +then, suddenly stopping, he said, "Amy is very fond of Miss Morton, I +think." + +"Yes; and the acquaintance has been of infinite service already. Amy is +very quick at discerning character, and notices everything; and I can +constantly see how the example of Miss Morton's patience and goodness +has strengthened her own right feelings. I quite dread to think of what +she will suffer when they are compelled to part." + +"Are you quite sure that parting is necessary?" said Colonel Herbert. + +"Only as you are quite sure yourself. Miss Morton will not wish to stay, +and my sister will not wish to keep her; and of course in such a case +she must go." + +"Supposing--remember I am not expressing any wish upon the subject--but +supposing it were suggested to Miss Morton to return with us to the +cottage, and take your place as Amy's governess, would it meet your +wishes; and do you think she would like it?" + +"Would you really agree to such a plan?" exclaimed Mrs Herbert. "It +crossed my own mind once, but I thought it would not please you; and +I could not bear to propose anything which it might give you pain to +refuse." + +"Why should you imagine it would not please me?" + +"Because it might interfere with your notions of domestic comfort to +have a stranger in the house. And then you cannot feel for Miss Morton +as I do." + +"But I can feel for her because you do. And with regard to my notions of +domestic comfort, I should consider them of very minor importance, even +if Miss Morton were not a person to excite such deep interest, when +compared with the advantage her assistance would be to you in Amy's +education, and the pleasure it would be to Amy to have such a companion. +The first thing that gave me the idea, was the knowledge that you +required more relaxation than you were likely to give yourself, if you +considered that Amy's instruction depended entirely on your own energy." + +"I do not think we should repent taking such a step," said Mrs Herbert. +"My own feeling for Emily is so sincere that I would make great +sacrifices for her comfort if they did not involve yours." + +"I do not see why they should; though, even if they did, I hope I should +not hesitate. By arranging for Miss Morton to return with us, we may be +the means of giving her peace, and even happiness, for several years at +least. But in fact I do not feel that it would be any sacrifice now that +I know you would like it." + +"It would be a very great relief to my mind," said Mrs Herbert. "If you +had seen her look of misery last night, you would have felt that it was +impossible to rest satisfied till something had been done for her." + +"It will not do to decide upon it hastily, though," observed Colonel +Herbert. "Situated as we are, having known her family, and having a +personal interest in herself, whatever we decided on doing we should +be obliged to continue,--I mean that we could not allow her to leave us +merely on the ground of its not suiting our convenience that she should +remain. It would be cruel, after giving her the idea that we are really +her friends, to throw her again upon the mercy of strangers." + +"Still," said Mrs Herbert, "I am not really inclined to hesitate; my +feelings are decidedly in favour of the plan; though for that very +reason I should wish to consider all the possible objections in their +strongest light." + +"There will be no occasion to decide at once," said Colonel Herbert. +"Miss Morton will scarcely be in a state to think of anything for the +next few days; and by that time we shall be better able to judge whether +there is any serious obstacle in the way--anything that involves a +sacrifice of what is right, which, in fact, is all that is really to be +considered." + +"People would laugh," said Mrs Herbert, "at the idea of its being +possible to act wrongly in taking an orphan girl into your family, with +the earnest wish of making her happy." + +"Very likely they would; but I have seen enough of life to have +discovered that a hasty kindness is often quite as injurious as a hasty +unkindness. Mere feeling, however good, should never be allowed entirely +to guide our actions, especially where the happiness of another person +is so materially concerned as in the present case." + +"I do not well see how it could lead us wrong now," replied Mrs Herbert. + +"It might induce us to decide without considering the sacrifices which +will be required of us; and then when the time came for making them we +should be vexed and disappointed, and should probably show it, and so +destroy poor Miss Morton's comfort, or perhaps force her to leave us, +whereas, if we well weigh them beforehand, we shall be prepared, and +they will come as a matter of course." + +"I believe you are right; and yet my first impulse, when you mentioned +the subject, was to go at once and name it to Emily; of course, I felt +in a moment it would be very absurd, if not really wrong; but it is so +hard to know that suffering exists, and not make some effort to relieve +it." + +"Yes," replied Colonel Herbert; "and it is so hard to make up our minds +that suffering is good for those we love. But we must do it now; we must +bear to wait patiently till Miss Morton has formed her own plans, though +we know how much it will cost her to do it, and also to see every one +about us unhappy for many weeks, if not months, to come; no human power +can at present give them consolation." + +"It is but a sad welcome for you," said Mrs Herbert, smiling through her +tears as she looked in her husband's face; "but I can be deeply thankful +that the trial did not come sooner; I could not have borne it then." + +"We might have been too happy without it," he replied. "I half dreaded +that something might happen when I went with Amy to the cottage. To see +you looking as you did on that morning, so much more like your former +self than I could possibly have expected, and to discover in every word +she uttered how entirely my fondest wishes for her had been realised, +was greater happiness than it is usually permitted us to enjoy for any +length of time." + +"It is strange now," said Mrs Herbert, "to remember the unclouded +pleasure I then felt; it is like endeavouring to realise the beauty of a +summer's day when we are in the midst of winter. But there are some who +seem to have had no summer to their lives--Miss Morton, for instance." + +"Her summer may be to come, even on earth," replied Colonel Herbert; "at +least, if it should be arranged for her to be with us, I think we shall +agree in striving that it may be so; and if it should be otherwise +ordered, she is hardly a person to grieve for the few wintry hours of +this life, when she can look forward to the long summer's day beyond +it." + +"It would be a great blessing," said Mrs Herbert, "to feel that we had +been the means of giving her comfort and relief; yet I fully see the +necessity of considering the subject well. And one thing we must be +careful about is the manner in which it is first mentioned to my brother +and Charlotte. They would not be likely to object, and yet they might +be annoyed if Emily proposed herself to leave them, and then came to us +immediately afterwards." + +"Perhaps it would be best," observed Colonel Herbert, "to find out their +ideas first, and, if they are what we fancy, to suggest our wishes, and +gain their approbation before it is named to Miss Morton." + +"Always remembering that we well weigh all the difficulties," said Mrs +Herbert. "I see your mind runs on just as fast as mine; you speak as if +you had no doubt what your decision would be." + +"Perhaps I have not; however, it is as well to be reminded of +prudence; so, for the next day or two, we will forget that we have any +inclinations, and look only to the objections." + +The entrance of Amy interrupted the conversation, which was not again +renewed till the evening; and by that time Mrs Herbert's feelings were +still more interested in carrying the plan into execution. She had spent +nearly an hour with Miss Morton, and had found her more composed than +she could have imagined possible; but it was evident, from many little +expressions, that Emily fully contemplated the necessity of her removal. +She spoke much of Mrs Herbert's kindness, and said that the remembrance +of it would be carried with her as one of her greatest consolations, +wherever it might please God to place her; and with timid hesitation she +asked whether Amy might be allowed at times to write to her. "Perhaps," +she said, "your slight knowledge of me scarcely warrants my making the +request; but it is hard to part so suddenly from all that has given +pleasure to life; and my heart will still cling to Emmerton, and to +those who have rendered it so dear to me, even in a few short months." + +Mrs Herbert longed to say that she trusted the parting might be +unnecessary; but she contented herself with assuring Emily that Amy +should write to her frequently, if they were separated, and expressing a +general hope that she might always remain in the neighbourhood. + +"I am afraid," replied Emily, "that it would hardly be for my good. I +feel now as if to linger so near, to be so constantly reminded of +lost blessings, would unfit me for the duties of life. I must act; and +perhaps the greater my difficulties and my loneliness, the better it +may be for me in the end. Even now I have forced myself to consider and +decide upon the future, because I know that to sit alone and dwell upon +the past would destroy all my powers of exertion." + +"But to see us occasionally," said Mrs Herbert, "would surely be a +comfort to you." + +"In time it would," replied Emily, "but not now. To be within reach +of you, and yet to be separated, as I must be by circumstances, would +probably make me repine even more than I fear I am inclined to do at +present. And I am trying," she added, while her pale lips quivered, and +the tears rushed to her eyes, "to learn the lesson which it is the will +of God to teach me. I know how quickly my heart will fix itself upon +earthly objects." + +"But you must not think, my dear," replied Mrs Herbert, "that it is +God's will that we should live without affection. Why should He +have bestowed such feelings upon us if they were not intended to be +exercised? If we give the first place to Him, He will never forbid us to +give the second to our fellow-creatures." + +"I am afraid," said Emily, faintly. "I have thought before that I could +give up all for Him, and yet when He required it I have shrunk from the +sacrifice; and so it is now. I am not resigned as I ought to be; and I +must never again put myself within reach of the temptation of loving an +earthly being too well." + +"You are speaking, my love, under the influence of an overstrained +feeling," answered Mrs Herbert. "I know you would not change what has +happened if the power were granted you at this instant; you would not +bring back that sweet child to the sufferings of a sinful world, even if +it were to give yourself years of happiness." + +"No, no!" exclaimed Emily, eagerly. "I can and I do thank God that she +is safe with Him--not in words only, but from the very bottom of my +heart; and yet I may be afraid--it has always been so. Those whom I have +loved the best have ever been taken from me the first." + +"Only we may not presume to decide why," said Mrs Herbert. "It may have +been for their good, quite as much as for your warning. And even now, if +the loss of a darling child should be the means of bringing those whose +happiness was wrapped up in her nearer to God, you would be the first to +acknowledge the greatness of the blessing, and to see that the object of +the trial might be principally their benefit. I do not mean to say," she +added, observing that Emily continued silent, "that we are not all in +danger of allowing our hearts to rest upon our earthly treasures; I am +sure, indeed, it is one of our greatest temptations; but still we must +not always think we have done so when they are taken from us; and, +especially, we must not shut ourselves up in silent misery, and refuse +the alleviations which God mercifully grants us." + +"Perhaps," said Emily, "I could be more resigned, if I did not at times +fancy that I had been the cause of everything. If I had never left her, +many moments of self-reproach would be spared me. Not that I give way to +the idea, because I believe it is false: I was doing what I knew to be +my duty in going to the cottage; and the event was in the hands of God: +but vet the notion haunts me; and even when I turn away from it, it +still remains a load on my heart." + +"And it will remain there, my dear, till the first misery of your +feelings has worn off, and you can see things in a truer light. It is +impossible to argue against it; or rather, no arguments which any person +can use will entirely satisfy you; but you must, indeed, force yourself +to turn away from it, or it will grow into a certainty, and then the +whole energy of your mind will be destroyed. If we once allow ourselves +to dwell too much upon the consequences even of our slightest actions, +we shall be quite unfitted for the duties of life." + +"Then you do not think I was wrong?" said Emily. + +"No, indeed, I do not. You went on an errand of kindness, where your +services were really required, and you left that dear child, as you +believed, in a place of safety with those who were certainly quite old +enough to have taken care of her during the few minutes of your absence. +Consider what your feelings would have been if you had neglected to go +to the cottage, and fatal consequences had been the result. You might +have reproached yourself then, perhaps justly; but you can have no cause +for it now. If any one has reason to be distressed, it is poor Margaret; +and I am afraid she is suffering very much." + +"Have you seen her?" asked Emily, + +"No," replied Mrs Herbert; "but Dora tells me she cannot comfort her at +all. I have sent several messages, and hope, by and by, she will let me +go to her." + +"Will you say something from me," said Emily; "I hardly know what; but +only let her feel that I think of her." + +"I wish it were possible to convince her how wrongly she has acted +towards you," answered Mrs Herbert. "I fear that what she is suffering +now will have but little real influence on her character. It is mere +feeling, and will pass away; for she will soon discover that she has +exaggerated her negligence, and then she will care but little about it." + +"I am very sorry for her," said Emily; "and I could not bear to think +that she was made more miserable now on my account." + +"But it would be for her good, my dear; and if I attempt to comfort +her by proving that she has over-estimated one fault, I shall certainly +endeavour to make her sorry for having thought so little of the other. +It will be useless to attempt it by and by; but now Dora says she really +feels for you, and therefore there may be some hope." + +"You must not let her think that I remember it," replied Emily, "I wish +she could know how entirely I have forgiven it." + +"I am not sure that I do wish it just now," replied Mrs Herbert. "To +be forgiven before we have acknowledged our offences makes us think too +lightly of them. When Margaret can see how utterly selfish her conduct +was, and grieve heartily for it, although no evil consequences have +followed, then it will be time to talk of forgiveness. And now, my dear, +I must leave you; but Amy shall come to you whenever you wish it." + +"Shall I ever thank you enough?" said Emily. + +"Do not talk of thanks," interrupted Mrs Herbert; "or, if you will, you +must listen to all I have to say of your kindness to Amy." + +The substance of this conversation was repeated to Colonel Herbert in +the evening: and as there was now no doubt of Miss Morton's intentions, +the only thing that required to be decided was the practicability of her +residence at the cottage. Colonel Herbert insisted strongly upon every +objection, feeling in his own mind how much his inclinations led him the +contrary way; and having been the first to propose the plan, he was the +more anxious that Mrs Herbert should not afterwards see cause to repent +it. The expense, the responsibility, the interruption to their own +privacy, were all brought forward; but Mrs Herbert overruled everything; +and after an hour's earnest conversation, it was finally determined that +the subject should be named to Mr and Mrs Harrington as soon as they had +heard of Emily's intentions. "And then," said Colonel Herbert, with a +smile of heartfelt pleasure, "if Miss Morton will consent, we will see +whether the quiet of the cottage, with you for a companion, and Amy for +a pupil, will not in some degree restore her to happiness." + +"If it should please God to grant it," replied Mrs Herbert, "I believe +it will be through Amy's means. I can see, even now, how she turns to +her for comfort. She half-smiled this afternoon when Amy came into the +room, and then checked herself, as if afraid to allow her thoughts to +dwell upon her." + +"Who would not find comfort in Amy?" said Colonel Herbert. "I have often +tried to fancy what she would be like; but I could not have expected to +find her so entirely simple and sincere, with a mind in many respects so +far beyond her age." + +"It has been a great relief to me to observe how little she has been +altered by the change of her life since she has been so much with her +cousins," answered Mrs Herbert. "It was my principal fear at first; but +she has had a much greater influence upon them than they have had upon +her." + +"I suspect," replied her husband, "that we are not at all aware of +the real strength of principle in the mind of a child who has always +endeavoured to do right. Children injure themselves for their whole +lives by indulging in what are called trifling faults--a little vanity, +or a little selfishness, or a hastiness of temper. If they could only +be made to see the infinite importance of subduing these feelings early, +they would grow up with confirmed habits of goodness, which, by the +blessing of God, would never leave them, however they might be tempted +in after-life." + +"We will hope that it may be so with Amy," said Mrs Herbert. "Certainly +she has begun betimes; and I think she will lead her cousins to follow +her example." + +"Dora interests me very much," observed Colonel Herbert; "but Margaret I +have scarcely spoken to. Have you seen her lately?" + +"No; but she promises to let me go to her the first thing to-morrow. She +dreads seeing her mother; and I rather think she will be glad to have me +to intercede for her." + +"She need not be afraid; while Mrs Harrington remains in her present +state, she will not be likely to notice anything." + +"To-morrow," said Mrs Herbert, "I shall endeavour to persuade my sister +to go and look once more upon that darling child. It will be a great +trial, but I think it may rouse her; and her countenance is now so +exquisitely peaceful and beautiful, that I should hope it might go far +towards reconciling her to her loss." + +"The worst trial is yet to come, I fear," said Colonel Herbert. "There +is something still to rest upon whilst the outward form is left us, even +when the spirit is fled." + +"I do not think that I quite agree with you. When everything is gone +that belonged to this world, we are able to feel more truly that the +spirit may still be with us. Perhaps the separation between ourselves +and little Rose may be far slighter than we accustom ourselves to +imagine." + +"It may be so," said Colonel Herbert, thoughtfully, "though the Bible +does not give us any certainty upon the subject." + +"It does not forbid us to think so; and at times it has been an +inexpressible comfort to me to feel that those whom I have loved might +still be near, though I could not see them; and I have always felt it +more after they were taken from my sight, and I could no longer look +upon them with the intense longing that they might return to be what +they once were." + +"Whether true or not, the idea is an innocent one," said Colonel +Herbert; "I wish sincerely that it could be a comfort to your poor +sister." + +"I think it not impossible," said Mrs Herbert, "that by and by Charlotte +will consent to see Mr Walton. You know he has been acquainted with her +from her childhood; and I am sure she has a very great respect for +him; and, as a clergyman, he could say so many things which no one else +would." + +"I rather doubt it," replied her husband. "She is so little accustomed +to be unreserved, according to your account, that I can hardly imagine +she would allow any one to speak plainly, much less to comfort her." + +"A month ago the case would have been very different," said Mrs Herbert; +"but this grief, I trust and believe, will have a very great effect. +Even Edward's death was not felt as much; at least it did not appear +so when she first arrived. I am not, however, going to talk to you any +longer, for I promised Amy, before she went to bed, that I would go to +Miss Morton, the last thing, to see that she was comfortable." + +"Amy seemed worn out when she wished me good-night," said Colonel +Herbert; "her pale looks made me quite anxious." + +"She has had a very trying day; and then, real sorrow is so new to +her, and she has been endeavouring so much to comfort every one, and +suffering so much at times herself (for she was very fond of little +Rose), that it is not strange she should look pale." + +"I must go and see if she is asleep," said Colonel Herbert, as he stole +softly into the adjoining room. + +Mrs Herbert followed, though almost inclined to find fault with him for +running the risk of awakening her. + +But Amy's repose was too deep to be disturbed even by her father's kiss. +There was a tear on her cheek, which showed what her last thought had +been; but sleep had restored the peacefulness of an innocent mind; and +Colonel Herbert, as he looked at her with delight, prayed that it might +never forsake her. + +Mrs Herbert's conversation with Margaret, the following day, was more +satisfactory than she had anticipated. At first, indeed, Margaret +refused to listen to any consolation. She declared that she had been the +sole cause of the accident; that her mother must consider her so; and +that it would be impossible ever again to know a happy moment. But +when her aunt, although fully allowing her negligence and selfishness, +pointed out how many other circumstances had combined to bring about +the event; without which her fault, however great, would probably have +produced no important consequences to any one but herself, Margaret +became calmer; and Mrs Herbert's fear then was, lest she should consider +herself perfectly free from blame. "I do not mean, my dear," she said, +"that you have no reason to reproach yourself, for selfishness and +neglect must always be serious offences in the eye of God; but what I +wish you to feel is, that if you have acted in the same manner on other +occasions, you have been equally guilty in His sight, though no one may +have known it but yourself." + +"Every one is selfish," said Margaret; "I never thought it was very +wicked before." + +"Every one is selfish, naturally," replied Mrs Herbert; "but we are sent +into the world to conquer our nature; and many persons are enabled to do +it almost entirely. You will not call Miss Morton selfish?" + +"No," said Margaret, "I don't think she is; but she has been so unhappy +always, that I can never fancy she has had the same inclinations as +other people--I mean that she does not care for things in the same way; +and so it is not much trouble to her to give them up." + +"Yes," observed Mrs Herbert, "she has had a great deal of suffering in +her short life; and I doubt whether any trial has been greater than the +present." + +"I was afraid she would be very miserable," said Margaret. "Dora has +told me how ill she looks; and I am sorry for her." + +There was a slight hesitation in Margaret's manner, as if she wished to +escape from the subject; but Mrs Herbert was not inclined to permit it +to drop. "I am sure you feel for her now, my dear," she said; "but you +could hardly have done so when you would have allowed her to be sent +away under a false impression, and at a time when, of all others, it +must have been most distressing." + +The colour rushed to Margaret's cheek, but she answered quickly, "I did +not know what would happen then; and, besides, she did not go." + +"But for what reason?" inquired Mrs Herbert; "not because you spoke for +her willingly. If you had known how much she suffered for a whole hour, +whilst obliged to make preparations, and fully believing that she must +go, I think you would be sorry for your conduct. She thought then, what +we know now would have been the case, that she never would see little +Rose again." + +"Was she really so miserable?" said Margaret. "Indeed I did not intend +to make her so; and I should never have concealed anything if it had not +been for Lucy Cunningham." + +"Miss Cunningham will, I hope, one day see how great her fault was; but, +my dear Margaret, her actions cannot alter yours. God will not admit +it as an excuse, that others have led us into evil; for we must each be +judged for ourselves." + +"Does Emily Morton think much about it now?" said Margaret. + +"No," replied her aunt; "she is so far from feeling anything like +unkindness, that I am certain she would make any sacrifice to do you +good and make you happy. But, my dear child, why will you always turn +your mind to what other people think and feel? It can make no difference +to you." + +"I don't know," replied Margaret; "but it always seems that things are +worse when they are thought much of." + +"But why?" continued Mrs Herbert. "It does not alter our conduct in +the eye of God. We may think of it now, and it may appear to us of +consequence; but you know, my love, that there must come a time when it +will be of no use to us to have borne a good character in the world, or +even to have been loved and admired by our friends, unless we have been +also really good in our own hearts." + +Margaret turned rather pale, but made no reply; and Mrs Herbert went +on. "We do not know how soon the moment may arrive," she said; "and God +sends us such warnings as we have had now to remind us of it. It is a +great mercy that we may look upon that dear child, and feel perfectly +happy in the belief that she is now safe, and in the keeping of her +Saviour; but it might have been very different if the summons had been +sent to any of us who are older." + +"But," said Margaret, "I fancied it was only grown-up people who could +be so very wicked. I am only thirteen, and I have never been confirmed." + +"But you have been baptized," replied Mrs Herbert. "Before you could +even know the difference between good and evil, God gave you His Holy +Spirit to guide you in the right way; and then He placed you in a happy +home, with kind parents, and you were taught to read, and taken to +church, and kept out of the reach of the temptations of the world. Why +should it be less wicked to do wrong when we are young, and have so many +blessings and so much instruction, than when we are old and exposed to +every kind of evil?" + +"My faults are only little ones," said Margaret. + +"Your faults are the greatest you can commit, my love; because you have +been so educated that you would be ashamed to be guilty of greater ones; +and we may be quite sure, that whoever wilfully indulges in a trifling +fault when not tempted to do anything worse, would equally indulge a +greater one if the inducement were to be put before him. If, situated +as you are, you will not struggle against vanity, or selfishness, or +deceit, or ill-temper, you would not struggle against theft or falsehood +if you were the child of a poor man." + +"But I cannot really be so wicked," said Margaret. + +"Yes, indeed you can," replied her aunt. "When God requires of us the +account of our lives, we shall have to confess our advantages as well as +our offences; and if we commit what people in general call little sins, +when our advantages have been great, we must be as wicked as persons who +commit greater sins with fewer advantages." + +"I do not think," said Margaret, "that I have been taught as much as +Amy." + +"That is not the question, my dear. The real thing to ask ourselves is, +whether we have made the best use of the instruction we have had; not +whether we have had less than others. And one blessing--the first and +greatest of all--is given to each of us alike at our baptism; for we +are told, in the service which is then used, that God is pleased at that +time to regenerate us with His Holy Spirit; and if we chose to follow +His guidance, we should constantly be kept in the right way." + +"I have heard Amy talk in that manner," said Margaret; "but indeed, aunt +Herbert, I never understood what she meant." + +"Will you tell me, my dear, whether you have ever wished to do right?" + +"Oh yes, very often; only it is so much trouble always to think about +it." + +"And have you not often admired people whom you saw conquering their +evil dispositions, and now and then tried to imitate them, and really +felt pleasure in doing it?" + +"Yes," replied Margaret, "sometimes." + +"All these better feelings," continued Mrs Herbert, "were not your own +by nature; they were the work of that better spirit of which I have been +speaking: and if you had prayed to God to keep them in your heart, and +had endeavoured to act from them, you would have found them becoming +stronger and stronger every day; and then, instead of being inclined +to vanity and selfishness, you would be humble, and gentle, and +self-denying: and though you might often do wrong--because no one in +this world can ever entirely get rid of his evil nature--yet you would +be very sorry for it; and God, for the sake of your blessed Saviour, +would forgive you, when you prayed to Him, and He would make you every +day holier and happier; He would cause all the troubles of the world to +appear light to you; and when you had lived here as long as He knew that +it was necessary for your good, He would take you to heaven." + +"And will it never be so now?" exclaimed Margaret, touched at last by +her aunt's words. + +"Yes," said Mrs Herbert, "if you will begin at once: but, indeed, +my love, there must be no delay. If you are really sorry for having +offended God, there can be no doubt of His forgiveness; but it must +always be asked in our Saviour's name. It is only for His sake that +we have anything granted us; and the blessings bestowed at our baptism +would never have been ours if He had not died to purchase them." + +"I think, aunt Herbert," said Margaret, with earnestness, "that I should +never have done wrong things if I had always had you to talk to me." + +"Indeed, my love, you would. It is not any human power that can keep +us from sin. But you are very young; and if you were to begin at +once, praying to God to assist you, and really trying to please Him in +everything, you might, in time, become as good as those saints and holy +people of whom we read in the Bible." + +"No, never!" exclaimed Margaret; "it would be quite impossible." + +"They were but human beings," replied Mrs Herbert; "and some of them had +not even the same advantages that we have. It requires nothing but real +sincerity and trust in God." + +"I should like to be as good as they were," said Margaret, "if----" and +here she paused. + +"If you could be so without any trouble. But, my dear Margaret, consider +what your condition will be at the end of your life, if you continue in +this state of mind. How will you feel when you look back upon, perhaps, +a long life, and know that it has been entirely wasted, that you have +never really tried to serve God, and that you will probably never go to +heaven, because you would not take the trouble?" + +"It cannot be necessary to be so very good," said Margaret. + +"It is quite necessary to _try_ to be," answered Mrs Herbert. "God +will never accept anything but our whole hearts. You must remember our +Saviour's words, 'Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is +in heaven is perfect.' Certainly this must mean that we are to be what +you call _very good_." + +"But," said Margaret, "I thought no one could be good enough to deserve +to go to heaven." + +"No, indeed, they cannot. But supposing, Margaret, that a great prince +were to come to Emmerton and offer to adopt you as his child, and were +to promise that, if you would do everything he wished, he would, in +time, take you to his kingdom, and give you riches and honours beyond +all that you could possibly imagine, do you not see that, although you +never could have merited such kindness, though it would be a perfectly +free gift on his part, yet that, if you refused to obey, you would +justly deserve to lose it?" + +Margaret assented; but she did not seem entirely to understand what +was intended, and Mrs Herbert continued: "This is exactly the case with +ourselves, my dear. God gives us all the promise of heaven, for the +sake of our Saviour, when we are baptized; but He also requires that we +should obey Him; and therefore, if we neglect to do so, the consequences +must be our own eternal misery." + +"I don't mean," said Margaret, "that I would not try to be good at all; +but that I don't think it can be necessary to be like the saints and +people who shut themselves up, and never saw any one." + +Mrs Herbert half smiled as she replied, "Certainly God does not require +that we should all live exactly the same lives as the persons you +mention--He does not command us all to leave our homes and go to +deserts; but it is possible to have the same tempers and dispositions as +the saints, though we may live in our own families." + +"How can we set about being so good?" asked Margaret. + +"First of all," replied her aunt, "we must pray to God to give us the +will; and when we have that, half our difficulty will be over. It is +seldom really hard to us to do what we earnestly desire; even things +which seemed quite impossible have been accomplished by a real +earnestness of purpose. There is a story told of a man whose father from +extravagance had brought his family to great poverty, and who, when +he became of age, instead of being possessed of large estates, was +absolutely penniless. He was standing one day upon the top of a very +high hill, looking over a vast extent of country that had belonged to +his ancestors, and which, but for his father's folly, would have been +his, when the idea entered his mind that it would be possible by his +own exertions to recover all that had been lost. From that moment he +resolved that he would never rest till he had achieved his wishes. He +worked by night and by day, he gave himself no rest and no amusement; +and at length he succeeded, and the estate was his. And though the +end of the story is a very sad one, and shows us the sin and folly of +setting our hearts on earthly objects,--for we are told that the poor +man became from habit a miser as soon as he gained his end,--yet we may +learn from it how much is in the power of persons who are really and +sincerely in earnest." + +"I think I could have felt like that man," said Margaret; "but I should +never care so much about being good." + +"You would if you could once see how beautiful goodness is," replied +her aunt; "if an angel were to be always at your side, you would long to +resemble him." + +"Oh yes!" said Margaret; "but that is not possible; and every one I +see is much the same as I am; only Amy and Miss Morton perhaps are +different." + +"But you can read your Bible," answered Mrs Herbert; "and you can see +there how holy, and merciful, and gentle our Saviour was. His perfect +purity is set before us to excite our longings to obtain it, as the +estates of that poor man were set before him. It is the image of that +holiness which we should have possessed if Adam had never sinned; and +if we had but equal resolution, we may have equal success; not, indeed, +entirely in this world, because we still must carry about with us an +evil nature, but in a far greater degree than we are at all apt to +imagine." + +"Did you ever know any one who was so very good?" asked Margaret. + +"Yes," replied Mrs Herbert; "and I have watched by their death-beds, +and witnessed their peace and happiness in the midst of the most severe +sufferings. I think, Margaret, if you had ever seen a real Christian +die, you would long to be like them." + +"Should I?" said Margaret, thoughtfully. "I never saw any one die yet; +but poor Edward was always good; and they said he was quite happy." + +"Yes," replied her aunt; "and if he were happy then, when lying on a +sick-bed, how much more happy must he be now! I know you would wish to +go to him." + +"And Rose," exclaimed Margaret, bursting into tears. "Oh, aunt Herbert, +do you think I shall ever see her again?" + +"I am sure you will, my dear child, if you will only pray to God to make +you good and holy, and fit for the home to which He has taken her. Will +you begin at once, and never neglect your prayers, and try with all your +heart to attend to them, and not allow your thoughts to wander? and will +you recollect how very many wrong things you have done, and ask Him to +forgive you for your Saviour's sake? And then will you endeavour, in +every little trifling thing, to give up your own will, and think only of +what is right?" + +"I will try," answered Margaret. + +"If you try," said Mrs Herbert, "not trusting to yourself at all, but +praying to God constantly to help you, and give you His Holy Spirit, +you may be quite sure of succeeding. Only you must remember that it is +absolutely necessary to try very much, and not give up the attempt +in despair because you find it difficult at first, and are constantly +falling back to your old habits; and especially you must not think it +sufficient to say your prayers only in the morning and evening; but you +must pray to God at all times, and in all places, whenever you are in +any danger of yielding to temptation. If you had prayed, I do not think +you would have acted as you did towards Miss Morton; you would have seen +the cruelty of wilfully adding to her anxiety; and you would have been +frightened at the thought of being deceitful." + +"I think, now, it was very wicked," said Margaret, sighing deeply; "but +can I do anything to make up for it?" + +"You cannot do anything to make amends to God," answered Mrs Herbert. +"When we have once sinned, no future goodness can wipe out the stain; +all that we can do is to trust that He will forgive us for our +Saviour's sake; but we can, in a certain degree, make amends to our +fellow-creatures; and the right thing for you now will be to acknowledge +to Miss Morton, when she is able to see you, how very great your fault +has been, and then to show, by every means in your power, that you are +anxious to consult her happiness." + +"And will she forgive me, do you think?" asked Margaret, + +"Why should you doubt it?" replied her aunt. "You have never known her +anything but affectionate, and kind, and forgetful of herself. I am sure +_she_ will forgive, because she will only hear your words, and see +your outward actions; but, my dear Margaret, it will be infinitely more +important that you should be forgiven by God, and He will look at the +heart." + +"Indeed, indeed, I am sorry," exclaimed Margaret, "I do not think I +shall ever do such things again." + +"I do most earnestly trust that you will not," said Mrs Herbert, "God +only knows the effect which the faults of our childhood have upon +our whole lives. You will not think, my love, because I have spoken +seriously, that I have not been sorry for all you have suffered." + +"I like to hear what you say, aunt Herbert," replied Margaret; "but some +people I cannot endure, and I never listen to them." + +"You must try and listen to everyone who wishes to do you good, my dear. +And now that we have talked together once, I hope we shall do so often; +and whenever you are in any difficulty in which I can help you, you +must remember that I am one of your nearest relations, and therefore, of +course, I shall love and take an interest in you." + +"And will you ask mamma to forgive me?" said Margaret. "I am more afraid +of her anger than of any other person's." + +"She is not in a state to think of anything now," replied Mrs Herbert; +"but I will certainly speak to her when I see she is able to listen; and +I trust you will remember what I said about Miss Morton." + +Margaret promised that she would think of it often, and begged to see +her whenever she felt equal to it; and Mrs Herbert, after kissing +her affectionately, left her with a hope that the effects of the +conversation might be lasting. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + + +Sadly and wearily the hours lingered on till the day that had been fixed +for the funeral of the innocent child, who had ever been the loveliest +and most cherished of the family at Emmerton. It was a time of bitter +trial to all; even the servants sighed deeply as they missed the young +voice which had once sounded so gaily through the house, and felt that +the low rooms and the long winding passages were more gloomy, and +the old pictures and curiously-fashioned furniture more strange and +distasteful to them, when they were no longer brightened by the sunny +smile with which little Rose had never failed to greet them. There was +an unnatural oppression upon every heart, and few felt it more than +Amy: she had never before been a witness of real sorrow, and it was +like entering upon a new and painful state of existence; for every one +appeared altered--Frank especially, who had returned from Mr Dornford's +the day after the death of his little sister, was completely altered; +his spirits were entirely subdued; and his only satisfaction seemed +to be in wandering over the house, and collecting everything that had +belonged to Rose, but without any other object than that of looking at +and sighing over them. Amy longed to comfort him; but she did not know +what to say, for she was herself sharing in his grief, and there was a +gloom over her feelings which few other events could have produced. + +At her own request, she had been taken by her mother to look at her +little cousin as she lay in her coffin; and although some who had felt +more of this world's sorrow might have gazed upon her with calmness, and +envied a rest so peaceful, Amy could see only that a change, far beyond +her comprehension, had passed over her, which made even the heavenly +beauty of her features appear awful. There was the same fair, open +forehead, the same long, silken eye-lashes, almost the same sweet smile +upon the lips, which she had often admired when Rose was sleeping; but +there was also the fixed, immovable expression which only death can +give; and when she kissed the pale, marble cheek, and shrank away, +alarmed at the icy coldness of its touch, it seemed impossible to +believe that a form so still should ever have been gifted with life, and +still more impossible to realise that she must herself one day be like +it. + +Mrs Herbert said nothing at first, knowing that words could scarcely +add to the lesson which such a sight must bring; and Amy felt as if the +sound of her own voice would have been as irreverent in that chamber as +in the midst of the services of the church. Long and earnestly she gazed +upon the fair, motionless image of little Rose; and then, when she had +once more kissed her for the last time, Mrs Herbert gently said, "Amy, +shall we pray that our lives may be as innocent, and our deaths as +peaceful?" and, kneeling down, she repeated the prayer appointed by the +Church to be used at the burial of the dead, to console and warn the +living. The impression of those moments was never effaced from Amy's +mind; and when in after years she looked back with gratitude upon the +early release of Rose, the remembrance of her calm face often came +before her, as an earnest of the perfect peace which she trusted might +one day be granted to herself: even then, when the first feeling of awe +had subsided, it was a relief that she had seen her; for the thought of +death was no longer as dreadful as it had been, and she was able to talk +freely to her mother, and tell her of many difficulties and fears which +had often crossed her mind before, but which there had never seemed a +fitting opportunity to mention. Her only real comfort, indeed, during +these melancholy days, was in being with her father and mother; for +there was something in Miss Morton's manner which distressed and pained +her. She was as kind and affectionate as ever, but she did not appear +as anxious to have Amy with her as might have been expected. Sometimes, +even after having expressed a wish that she should remain with her, +she would suddenly stop in the midst of her conversation, and continue +silent for several minutes, and perhaps make some excuse in order to +send her away; and although this was always done in the most considerate +manner, yet Amy did not fail to notice it; and her heart became more +heavy as she thought that possibly, after all, Emily did not really care +for her very much, and that now little Rose was gone, she would never +love any one again. + +Mrs Herbert understood the reason of this change of manner, but it could +not be explained to Amy. She saw that Emily, under the belief of being +soon compelled to leave Emmerton, was afraid of making Amy too necessary +to her happiness. She was desirous of learning to live without any great +objects of affection, fearing that she might rest on them rather than on +God; but though such a wish might be natural after the loss of so many +whom she had loved, Mrs Herbert knew that it would not be likely to +continue, when her mind returned to its natural state. She would then +see that it is God's will that we should have parents, and children, and +friends to love; and that if we have been grateful for such treasures, +and given the first place in our hearts to Him while we possessed them, +He will often, when one is taken from us, in mercy grant us another +to supply its place; and she would be able to acknowledge how great a +blessing it was that she had learned to love Amy before she had been +called to part from Rose. + +As yet, however, Emily could feel nothing of this. She was indeed +resigned, and could spend hours in looking upon her darling Rose, and +thinking of her great happiness, and praying that God would make her fit +to dwell with her again; but the thought that she had loved her too well +was still predominant; and when her heart turned to Amy, and she was +conscious how much happiness might still be enjoyed on earth, she feared +to dwell upon the idea, and tried to believe that it would be possible +to live without having more than a common regard and interest for all +who had been kind to her. + +The endeavour, however, did not succeed. Amy's winning manner, and +thoughtful attention, and warm affection, were irresistible; every hour +brought some proof of her love, and every hour Emily became more +and more aware how great would be the pain of leaving Emmerton. Yet, +believing that it must be endured, she resolved upon delaying the trial +only till she had taken the last, long farewell of little Rose, and then +to lose no time in making arrangements for her departure. But for Mrs +Herbert's presence, she would have hesitated at leaving Mrs Harrington +whilst so ill; but the exertion which was now so much required, had +rather roused Mrs Herbert, and given her increased strength and energy, +than overpowered her; and Emily felt that her own health must suffer, if +she were to continue much longer with so great a pressure upon her mind. + +The only friend with whom she could reside till another situation was +obtained was her former governess; for the aunt who had been the means +of placing her with Mrs Harrington was living abroad: and when once +her determination was fixed, she lost no time in writing to claim the +fulfilment of the promise of receiving her, and to beg that her friend +would exert herself to find some family where she might be admitted as a +governess, for the position she held at Emmerton it would be impossible +to occupy again. The letter was written and sent, yet Emily could not +summon courage to mention it to Mrs Herbert. The shadow of comfort +seemed still left whilst her determination remained secret in her own +mind--at least no one spoke of her departure openly, although it was +certain that Mrs Herbert must really know that it was intended, from the +manner in which it had frequently been implied in their conversations. +Dora came to her frequently, and Margaret sent a request that she might +speak to her soon; but Emily dreaded and avoided an interview which +must recall so much that was painful; and once when they met in Mrs +Harrington's room, though her manner showed how entirely she had +forgiven her, yet both felt relieved upon Margaret's being called away +immediately afterwards, so as to afford no opportunity for mentioning +the subject. It was the evening on which she was to look upon Rose for +the last time, and all her resolution was required to enable her to bear +the trial; but strength was granted to her then as it had been before; +and when it was over, she found a comfort which nothing earthly could +have afforded, in praying that God would enable her to give herself up +wholly to His service, and take her to Himself when her heart had been +made meet for His presence. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + + +It was a calm and sunny morning on which little Rose was carried to +her grave, and with it came a feeling of hope and peace to some of +the family at Emmerton, for it was the promise of the spring amid the +dreariness of winter; and those who had accustomed themselves to read +the truths of religion in the silent language of nature could not but +view it as the type of that morning of the Resurrection--the spring-time +of eternity--when they might trust to receive again the treasure from +which they were now called to part for a season. + +Many of the cottagers were assembled to watch the melancholy train as it +wound through the village; for Rose had been a favourite with all, and +there had been heavy hearts and sorrowing faces when it was first known +that she would never visit them again; and by a few amongst them, +also, the brightness of the morning was welcomed with satisfaction; for +although, to careless minds, the gay sunshine appeared but a mockery +on a day of so much sadness, they who were more chastened by affliction +felt that it suited well with the beauty and innocence of a child who +had been taken to happiness before she had tasted of sorrow. Several, +to show their respect for Mr Harrington, followed the procession to +the church; and amongst them old Stephen, notwithstanding his age and +infirmities, placed himself the foremost. He had borne the intelligence +of the accident, and its consequences, with tolerable composure, after +the first shock was past; for he was an old man, he said, and 'twould be +but a very few years, perhaps not one, before he trusted he should see +her sweet little face again. It might be hard for those who were young +to see others taken away, but 'twas very different for the old. He had +had a warning lately; and perhaps the next time the bell tolled it might +be for him. + +Yet, notwithstanding his outward calmness, Stephen felt deeply in his +heart; he was anxious and restless, longing to be able to move, that +he might go to Emmerton and get permission to look once more upon his +little pet; and at last when dissuaded from attempting it, he declared +that nothing should prevent him from attending at her funeral, if it +were only as a mark of his duty to the family. + +The exertion was greater than in prudence he should have made; but +Stephen had seldom been ruled even by those whom he called his masters; +and he kept to his determination, and slowly and with difficulty walked +to the church. It was nearly filled; and Mr Walton, as he looked upon +the sorrowing faces which surrounded him, felt that his task was a +difficult one; but his thoughts turned from Rose lying in her coffin to +Rose as she really was--an angel in heaven, and the weight passed from +his heart, and he was enabled firmly and unfalteringly to go through +the service. Mr Harrington's face was of a deadly paleness, though he +remained perfectly calm till the moment when the body of his darling +child was lowered to its resting-place in the tomb of her ancestors; +but then his fortitude forsook him; and when the earth fell with a dull, +heavy sound upon the coffin, he covered his face with his hands, and +leaned against the wall for support, vainly endeavouring to conceal his +grief. + +There were few present who did not participate in it; and when he left +the church many glances of sympathy were cast on him by persons with +whose names even he was unacquainted; but Stephen could not be contented +with looks; forgetting the years that had elapsed since he had held him +in his arms, and taught him to guide his pony, and conscious only of the +affection which he felt for the family, he stopped him as he passed the +churchyard gate, and seizing both his hands exclaimed--"'tis a sad day +for us all, sir, and there's none but will feel for you; only we would +not have her back again, for she was too good for this world." + +"Thank you, thank you, Stephen," said Mr Harrington, returning the +pressure warmly; "we will talk another day, but not now." + +"No, not now," replied Stephen; "only I couldn't help letting your +honour see that I thought of you. I must go home now;" adding, to +himself, "the Colonel, I suppose, will hardly remember me." + +"The Colonel will remember you, though, Stephen," said Colonel Herbert, +taking his hand. "It would be a hard thing to come back to England, and +forget one's oldest and best friends. But I shall see you soon, I hope, +in your own cottage, when we are all better and happier." + +"I don't like my cottage as I did," replied Stephen, "I shall often +think it was the cause of it all,--not but what it's wrong, though; for +God's will was the cause, and His will must be done." + +"Yes," said Colonel Herbert; "and we shall all learn, I hope, to be +resigned." + +"In time, sir,--there's nothing like time and good thoughts. And you +will come and see me then, sir, and bring young madam with you, and Miss +Amy. How her little face brightened when she talked to me of your +coming home! We, none of us thought then what was going to happen just +afterwards." + +"I must not stay now, Stephen," said Colonel Herbert; "Mr Harrington +is already standing by the carriage. But we will talk about Amy another +time." + +"And the young lady, sir,--Miss Morton,--I should like just to know +about her; they say she takes on sadly." + +"She is better," replied Colonel Herbert. "Of course it was a dreadful +shock to her." + +"Ah, yes! they were always together," said Stephen. "Nobody dreamed +of their being parted so soon. But they will meet,--we shall all meet +again." + +"May God grant it!" said Colonel Herbert, as he shook the old steward +warmly by the hand, and then, hastily walking away, he joined Mr +Harrington. + +On his return home, Colonel Herbert went immediately to his wife to +inquire for Mrs Harrington and Emily. The former he found had been but +slightly aroused from her apathy, even when purposely told what was +passing; but Emily was better than Mrs Herbert had supposed possible. +The worst suffering had been over on the preceding evening; and she was +now able to converse tranquilly, and even again to allude to her future +prospects. This, however, arose from a restless anxiety that her plans +should be finally fixed. She longed to speak to Mr Harrington, and +decide at once upon leaving Emmerton, feeling that her mind would never +really be calm till this had been done; and she inquired eagerly of Mrs +Herbert, when she thought it would be possible for him to allow her a +few moments' conversation. "I know it cannot be to-day," she said; "it +would be cruel to ask it; but I cannot rest satisfied till I have seen +him." + +"I am not sure that it might not be to-day, my dear," replied Mrs +Herbert. "If you have anything on your mind, he would be most anxious to +relieve you." + +"It is on my mind, heavily," said Emily; "but I would not for the world +he should be troubled with my affairs when he has so much to oppress +him." + +"If it is anything in which he can be of use, perhaps it may interest +and please him," answered Mrs Herbert. + +"It is nothing of that kind," said Emily, resolving with great +difficulty to mention her intentions openly. "I wish to tell him that I +must leave Emmerton. I daresay he would name the subject to me if I did +not speak first." + +"Will you let us talk to him, my dear? It might save you pain; and we +might be able, together, to form some plan for your future happiness. +You will trust us, I think, to arrange for you." + +"Oh!" exclaimed Emily, "if I do not trust you, whom have I on earth to +rest upon? Will you really speak about it as soon as you can? Indeed, I +must leave this place soon." + +"You may depend upon my not delaying one moment longer than is +necessary," said Mrs Herbert. "Perhaps this afternoon he may be able to +listen." + +"And may I have Amy with me till then?" asked Emily; and then, checking +herself, she added, "but perhaps it will be better not; she will be +happier with you." + +"No, indeed, my dear, she will not. You cannot give her a greater +pleasure--especially if she can feel that it is any comfort to you." + +"It is only too great a comfort," said Emily; "but to-day, may be nearly +the last time." + +"And therefore she shall come to you directly. She is walking in the +garden at present; for she has been very unhappy, and could not fix her +attention to anything in the house." + +"I think I should like to walk too," said Emily. "I must be with +the family, and go out again now. And when I am with her I can bear +everything better; and I must tell her myself that I am going." + +"Not to-day," replied Mrs Herbert. "Wait till we have spoken to +my brother; and then, perhaps, we may be able to give her a little +consolation, for she will feel dreadfully." + +Emily knew that it would have been a relief to have mentioned the +subject at once; but she assented instantly to Mrs Herbert's wishes, +unwilling to give a moment's unnecessary pain to any one, especially to +Amy. The restriction prevented her from finding as much satisfaction +in her walk as she might otherwise have done; but to Amy it brought +feelings more approaching to pleasure than any she had experienced for +the last week; for it seemed like the restoration of the days when Emily +was always delighted with her society. "I thought, perhaps, you would +come out," she said, "at least in the afternoon; for I am sure you will +never feel better while you sit alone in the house." + +"It is like a spring day," said Emily. "Who could imagine we were now in +the beginning of January." + +"It does not seem like a spring day, though," said Amy, sadly. "I never +thought before that sunshine could be so melancholy." + +"It will be cheerful to you again, soon. When you go back to the cottage +with your papa and mamma, you will feel just as you used to do." + +"No," said Amy; "nothing will seem as it used to be while you are +unhappy." + +"I am not going to be miserable," answered Emily, endeavouring to smile. +"I know there is not really any cause for it. My darling Rose is far +happier than we can imagine; and whilst there are so many duties to be +attended to, I hope I shall never sit down idly to repine at the will of +God." + +"Rose must be happy," exclaimed Amy. "I thought just now I should like +to be her." + +"We should all like it," said Emily, "if we could only see her as she +now is. Yet I believe it is really a great blessing that we do not know +more clearly what heaven is like; for if we did we should sometimes +be scarcely able to endure our life here, even when it is the most +blessed." + +"I wish I could know, though," replied Amy; "it would make me so happy +to think of going there." + +"But, then, you must remember," said Emily, "that if we had once seen +the beauty of heaven we should have no pleasure comparatively upon +earth. There are a great many things we enjoy now, which are very +innocent and good, and help us to bear up against sorrow; but they would +be of no use to us if we could contrast them with the glories of heaven. +This bright sunshine, for instance, and the lawn, and the evergreens, +and the water, and all that beautiful country beyond, would seem nothing +if we could know how much more beautiful the world is to which we hope +to be taken when we die." + +"I see that," replied Amy, "because I remember, after I had been at +Rochford Park, the cottage seemed quite changed, and not half as pretty +as it was before--yet it was not really altered; but I do not think +I should have cared so much if I had thought that I should ever live +there." + +"You will not care again," said Emily, "if you will learn to look upon +all beautiful things as the types or images of the treasures of heaven; +for no one will desire very much to possess an imperfect picture of +any object when he is soon to enjoy the reality. I can understand your +feeling, though, entirely; and Rochford Park, I have heard, is very +lovely." + +"But the people who live there are not lovely," said Amy; "only Mr +Cunningham, I like. As for Miss Cunningham, I am afraid I shall dislike +her more than ever now." + +"You must try not," replied Emily. "She might have been very different +with better education; and we might have been like her if our +temptations had been as great." + +"Not you," said Amy; "I am sure it is impossible." + +"Nothing of the kind is impossible, dearest," replied Emily. "We might +all have been like the worst persons that ever lived if we had not +received such great advantages; and, even now, God will not consider us +better than others if we do not profit by them. There are many of us who +bear a very good character in the world, and yet must appear hateful in +the sight of God." + +"I think that is papa just come out of the house," exclaimed Amy. + +Emily stopped and trembled. "I do not think I can speak to him now," she +said, faintly. "Will you come with me into another walk?" + +"The one leading to the lake is the most private," said Amy; "only there +is not so much sunshine there." + +Emily did not reply, but moved quickly away; and a few minutes +afterwards Mr Harrington and his sister joined Colonel Herbert on the +terrace. They walked for some time almost in silence; and Amy, as she +watched them could not help wishing; that her mamma might see Miss +Morton, and come to her, for it would be a pleasure to both of them; +and it did not seem that she was doing any good in being with her uncle. +After a time, however, something was said which apparently interested Mr +Harrington; for he listened attentively while Colonel Herbert spoke, and +then answered him with greater animation than he had before shown. +Amy had a full opportunity for observing all this, as Emily had become +suddenly silent. She also was looking at the party on the terrace, +and was evidently thinking only of them. The conversation lasted for a +considerable time, and Amy, fearing that Miss Morton would be fatigued, +begged her to go in; but she answered, rather hurriedly, that she would +much rather not; and Amy was not inclined to press the matter, for the +unusually mild air and the brightness of the weather had seldom been so +refreshing to her. + +Sometimes, as she watched her father, she thought the conversation must +have some reference to Emily, for he looked frequently towards her; and +Mrs Herbert's smile, as they once unexpectedly met at the angle of the +terrace, made her hope that the subject might be an agreeable one. She +did not, however, dwell much upon the idea, having never understood that +it was likely for any change to take place in Emily's situation; but +just as she was about again to propose that they should go in, Colonel +Herbert left Mr Harrington, and coming towards them, told Amy that she +had better walk with her mamma, as he wished to speak to Miss Morton a +few minutes alone. "I will not detain you long," he added, turning to +Emily; "for I am sure you must be tired. Perhaps you would rather rest +yourself first?" + +"Oh no!" exclaimed Emily; "I am not in the least tired; and I would much +rather hear everything now." + +"You will, perhaps, scarcely imagine the subject I wish to mention," +said Colonel Herbert, as he walked by her side; "but you have said that +you would give us the privilege of old friends, and allow us to name +your wishes to Mr Harrington; and though I am so little known to you, I +hope, when you have heard my reasons, you will not think me intrusive in +wishing to speak of them to yourself, personally. If your memory could +carry you back as far as mine, I think you would understand why I can +never consider you a stranger." + +"Indeed, I can remember," said Emily, and her voice faltered. "They were +my happiest days, and every person connected with them must always be +remembered by me, particularly one who was so well acquainted with my +family, and so kind to them." + +"Then we will not be strangers," said Colonel Herbert, "but old friends +who have a mutual interest in each other's welfare. If you will promise +to think of me in that light, I shall have less hesitation in asking a +favour of you." + +"Of me!" exclaimed Emily, with surprise; "you cannot doubt my +willingness to grant anything you may require; but it seems impossible +that I should be able to do anything for you." + +"I understand," replied Colonel Herbert, "that it is your wish now to +leave Emmerton, and Mr Harrington agrees in thinking that it may perhaps +be better; but he is very unwilling that you should go at once amongst +strangers, with whom you can have no sympathy; and the idea of it has +made him extremely uncomfortable, for he feels, with Mrs Herbert and +myself, that from our early acquaintance we are in a great degree your +guardians and protectors, and bound to consult your happiness." + +"You are very, very kind," said Emily; "but I doubt if you will be able +to think of anything better for me in the end." + +"Will you try the plan we wish to propose?" said Colonel Herbert. "If +it should not conduce to your happiness, we should be the first to wish +that it might be altered." + +"I will do anything that is thought right," replied Emily. + +"Then," said Colonel Herbert, "will you consent to return with us to the +cottage, and take Amy for your pupil?" + +Emily was silent, and for an instant Colonel Herbert feared that some +objection might exist in her mind for which he was not prepared; but +when he looked at her countenance, he saw that she was endeavouring to +answer him calmly. Twice she tried to speak, but her words were choked; +and at last, giving way entirely, she burst into tears. Colonel Herbert +felt that his presence must be painful to her, and merely saying that he +would wait for an answer till she had had more time for consideration, +he left her, and she was immediately afterwards joined by Mrs Herbert. + +"I am afraid you have been startled, my dear," she said; "Colonel +Herbert insisted upon speaking to you himself; but men never know how to +manage these things well." + +"Oh! indeed," said Emily, "he has only been too kind; but it cannot +really be true; you cannot mean that I shall not be obliged to go away +from you?" + +"It must depend entirely upon your own choice," replied Mrs Herbert. "If +you can be happy with us, and will consent to take charge of Amy, you +will ease me of a burden which is too much for my health, and give us +all most heartfelt pleasure." + +"But Mr Harrington," said Emily, feeling as if there must be some +objection to a plan which promised so many blessings at a moment when +she was almost overwhelmed with sorrow. + +"My brother feels with us entirely; it will be a real relief to him to +know that you are happy, or at least in the way of becoming so; for we +can only hope to make you tranquil and comfortable at first. And now I +shall not let you stay here any longer, but you must go to your room, +and I will send Amy to you. We thought that, perhaps, you would like to +name the subject to her yourself." + +Emily spent the few moments that elapsed before Amy's knock was heard at +her door in endeavouring to realise the mercy thus granted her, and to +feel grateful to God, who had bestowed it. Though almost confused by the +suddenness of the idea, yet her first thought had been of Him; and if in +the time of sorrow she had prayed earnestly to be devoted to His service +in thought, and word, and deed, still more earnestly did she now pray +that no earthly blessings might ever lead her heart from Him. + +Amy's countenance was sad when she entered. She had been talking to +Dora, whose spirits were so much depressed that it was difficult +to console her. Amy had seen comparatively little of her during the +preceding week, for she had been in constant attendance upon her mother, +or endeavouring to cheer Margaret; but the latter did not now require so +much sympathy; she was quiet and sorrowful, but the first excitement +of feeling was over; and her aunt's conversation had in a great measure +satisfied her mind as to her own share in the accident. Dora had, +therefore, more time to give to her own reflections; and they were very +painful. Everything around her was melancholy; and even her mother's +abstraction and indifference were scarcely so distressing to witness +as her father's silent suffering, and Frank's mournful face; while the +thought of Emily Morton was almost worse than either; for Dora felt +that she might have been a comfort to her now, if she had only been +less unkind before. It gave her a pang to know that Amy was admitted to +Emily's room at all times, though she had only been acquainted with her +for a few months, while her own visits were merely occasional; it would +have been far more natural and right that Emily should look to her as a +companion; and as she thought this, Dora's memory recalled all her +past neglect and selfishness, and the bitterness of self-reproach added +tenfold to her other sorrows. Amy heard it all, but could say little in +reply. She knew that Dora had often acted very wrongly, and that now she +was justly suffering for it; but she also felt quite certain that Emily +Morton did not for a moment think of it. + +Dora, however, was not satisfied with this assurance; she could not be, +till she had spoken to Emily herself. "I cannot bear," she said, "only +to be allowed to go into her room now and then; it seems as if she were +quite cut off from us--and Margaret says the same; for indeed, Amy, you +cannot think how sorry Margaret is now for what she did. She has been +speaking about it to me this morning, and she wishes so much to say +something. I believe aunt Herbert made her promise to do it, when she +had that long conversation with her the other day. When do you think +Emily will be able to see us both? I mean not just for a few minutes, +but really to talk to her." + +"I daresay she will to-morrow," said Amy; "for I believe she intends +going down-stairs as usual, now; and then you will see how true it is +that she does not think about anything, but really loves you very much." + +"She is almost an angel, I believe," said Dora, earnestly. + +"Yes, indeed she is," exclaimed Amy; "I am afraid to think much about +her being so good, because then I get a fancy that she will be taken +away; and I could not bear her to go." + +"But I don't think she will stay here," said Dora. + +"What do you mean?" inquired Amy, hastily. + +"It will be so different now to what it used to be. She will not have +much to do with Margaret and me; and I am nearly sure she will go." + +"But not yet--you cannot mean yet?" said Amy. "I daresay it may be when +you are quite grown up; but that is so far off." + +"I think she will leave us at once," said Dora. "I have often heard +mamma say that she had but one very great reason for keeping her; and +you know that is all gone." + +"Yes," said Amy, thoughtfully; "but she can teach you still." + +"Mamma's notions are changed, lately, I think," replied Dora; "she does +not like having a person who is a governess and no governess." + +"But has she said anything to you?" inquired Amy. + +"No; for poor mamma does not think of anything now. I don't know when +she will again." + +"Then Miss Morton cannot possibly go away yet?" + +"Perhaps not; but at any rate she will before very long. I wonder you +never yet thought about it, Amy." + +"It seems quite impossible," said Amy. "I cannot think of Emmerton and +you without her." + +"She will never be happy here," replied Dora; "so perhaps it will be +better; only I should be glad for her to remain here some time. I think +I should try and make her comfortable." + +"I must ask mamma," said Amy. "It makes me so unhappy to think about it. +I shall never rest till it is quite certain." + +"I don't think any one knows for certain," replied Dora; "but you will +soon learn from what Emily says herself." + +"I cannot ask her," said Amy; "but I am sure mamma must know; and she +must be come in by this time. I wonder whether what papa wished to say +to Miss Morton had anything to do with it?" + +"Oh no! he would not be the person to talk to her. But you need not +distress yourself so much. Amy; it will not be just yet." + +"I must know," said Amy. And she ran off to her mother's room; but she +was stopped by Susan Reynolds, who told her that Miss Morton desired to +speak to her. Amy's fears immediately conjectured the intelligence +she was to receive, and her face plainly betrayed her anxiety. "Is it +anything very particular?" she said, as she entered. "Is anything the +matter?" + +"Why should you think so?" replied Emily gently. "It is not very strange +that I should like to have you with me." + +"But Dora says,"--and here Amy paused, for she felt that to repeat the +conversation would be to inquire into Miss Morton's plans. + +"What does she say?" asked Emily. "You are not afraid of telling me +anything, are you?" + +"Not if it is right," replied Amy; "but I don't think I ought to say +this." + +"Then you shall not," said Emily. "I am sure you will judge properly; +only, if it is anything that concerns me, you need hardly think that I +should be vexed." + +"Are you quite sure? I should be so very glad to know; but I thought it +would seem impertinent." + +"I will let you ask anything you like," replied Emily; "and if it is +something I must not answer, I will tell you." + +"You will not go away?" said Amy, timidly, and at the same time looking +anxiously in Miss Morton's face. + +"I am going from Emmerton," replied Emily; and poor Amy felt as if +a shot had passed through her heart. "But I am not going far away, I +hope," she added, as she watched the quiet tears that trickled down +Amy's cheek. "It depends upon you how far." + +"Oh no!" exclaimed Amy; "it cannot depend upon me. You know I would +never have you go away from me; I would have you live with me always, +and I would love you, and do everything for you, and I would attend to +all your wishes; and then, perhaps, some day you might say that I had +made you happy." + +"And will you really love your governess?" said Emily. And she put her +arm round Amy's waist, and drew her fondly towards her. + +The truth flashed in a moment across Amy's mind. "Was that really what +papa said?" she exclaimed. + +"He asked me," replied Emily, "if I would go back with you to the +cottage: and he said that you should be my pupil; and now you shall +decide." + +Amy could not answer; for words are even more powerless to express +joy than grief. But Emily needed no assurances; and for the moment she +yielded without fear to the consolation which an affection so deep was +capable of affording her. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + + +There was a strange mixture of feeling in Amy's mind, on the following +morning, when she thought of all that had lately occurred. It was +impossible to forget Rose, but it was equally impossible to avoid +thinking of Emily; and she immediately began to anticipate the pleasure +of living with her, and exerting herself for her happiness. The new +arrangement was satisfactory to every one, though when named to Mrs +Harrington, she merely said, "Yes, certainly, it would do very well;" +and then appeared to take no further interest in it. Even Dora and +Margaret felt it a comfort that Emily would be near them; for now that +they were about to lose her, they first began to be sensible of her +value. Little unthought-of kindnesses and daily self-denials were +remembered with regret that they had been so lightly appreciated: and +Dora looked at her music-books, and Margaret at her portfolio, and +sighed as they thought that they should have no one for the future to +take an interest in them as Emily had done. + +"I shall envy you more than ever, Amy," said Dora, as they walked +together in the garden a few days afterwards. "I always thought you were +happier than we were; and lately, I am sure of it." + +"You will get better by and by," said Amy. "I know how you must +feel,--the place is so altered." + +"Yes," observed Margaret; "and it will never be what it was again. It +does not look the same." + +"I think even the blue sky has grown dim," said Dora; "yet I like to +look at it, because I can think that little Rose is there. But the sky +will never be dim to you, Amy." + +"Why not?" asked Amy. "I know I must have a great many sorrows, just as +other people have." + +"But," replied Dora, "I am sure it is something in one's own mind which +causes it. The earth often looks gloomy when there is really nothing +the matter; but I do not think the sky would, if we never did wrong: and +that is the reason why I do not think it ever will to you." + +"Indeed, Dora," exclaimed Amy; "you don't know anything about me; and +you will find out some day how bad I am." + +"I dont wish to find it out," said Dora. "It pleases me to believe there +are some people in the world who always do right." + +"Then you shall believe it of mamma, and Mrs Walton, and Miss Morton," +said Amy. + +"I don't like to think of Emily," replied Dora. "When will she let us go +and talk to her." + +"I hope she will soon," said Margaret. "It quite weighs upon my mind." + +"I told her yesterday that you wished it," answered Amy; "and then she +said you thought a great deal more about things than herself, and she +did not like you to be distressed; and that she had thought you would +have understood her feelings by her manner at breakfast and dinner." + +"That will not quite please my aunt," said Margaret. "I promised her +I would speak to Emily myself; and I do wish very much to do what she +likes." + +"There is Miss Morton just coming down the steps," said Amy; "perhaps if +I were to go away, you would like to say something now." + +Margaret rather hesitated, feeling half ashamed when the opportunity +was given her; but Dora urged that there might be no delay: and Amy went +into another walk. + +"I fancied," said Emily, as she came up to them, "that Amy was with you. +Mr Walton is in the house, and wishes to see her." + +"I will go and call her," said Dora; "she is only gone into one of the +back walks." + +Emily begged she would not trouble herself; but Dora felt quite pleased +with the opportunity of showing her a little attention; and Margaret +and Emily were left alone. Margaret was extremely embarrassed; and +Emily perceiving that something was the matter, made a few passing +observations on the beauty of the weather. + +Margaret's answers were short, for her mind was pre-occupied; and it was +not till she saw Dora returning that she summoned courage to say, "You +would not let me speak to you before; but I must tell you now, I am so +very sorry,--and I have wished so much that you should know it." + +"Indeed, I have known it," replied Emily; "and I hoped you would have +understood from my manner how little I have thought about it. We have +both been suffering too much not to feel for each other; and I have had +you in my mind very often, and wished that I could have comforted you." + +"But it was not only that," continued Margaret; "I wanted to say, and +so did Dora too, that we know we have often been very unkind, and done a +great many wrong things; and we should be much happier if you would say +that you forgive us." + +"Will you?" said Dora, who had been walking a few paces by their side. + +"I do not like to say it," replied Emily; "it seems now as if I had no +right to do it. All the pleasure I have known for the last two years has +been found in your family; and what I feel now is thankfulness that it +has been so much greater than I deserve." + +"But we did not make you happy," said Dora. "You would have been +miserable if it had not been----' + +"For Rose," continued Emily, firmly. "I do not know, indeed, how I +should have felt without her; but with her I had, at times, all that I +dared desire; and now God has given me blessings for which I can never +be sufficiently grateful." + +"Yes," said Dora; "Amy is a blessing to every one." + +"And you are blessings too," replied Emily, in a tone of deep interest +and kindness. "You do not know the satisfaction you are affording me +now; and you may be unspeakable blessings to your parents." + +"We shall not know what to do when you are gone," said Margaret; "and my +aunt and Amy also." + +"Your mamma will recover herself by and by, I have no doubt; and then we +shall be so near, it will be scarcely like a separation." + +"There was one thing," said Dora, "which I thought I would ask you: but +I am afraid you will not tell me if you had rather not." + +"I will tell you really, though," replied Emily. "I always try to say +exactly what I mean." + +"Then do you think, sometimes, if we go to the cottage, you would be +able to hear us play, and look at our drawings? We shall be so very much +at a loss without you." + +"I trust," said Emily, "that my being away will make but very little +difference to you in those things; you know I shall not be so far off +but that I can come to you, or assist you whenever it will give you the +smallest pleasure." + +Dora expressed her thanks, and felt how little she deserved such +kindness; and Margaret hoped that she would not leave them yet. +"Everything will seem a great deal worse then," she said. + +"Mrs Herbert intends staying with your mamma while she continues so +ill, I believe," replied Emily; "but when she is better, I heard Colonel +Herbert say, he should like to go directly to the cottage." + +"Do you know what Dr Bailey thinks about mamma?" asked Margaret. + +"He says that she requires change, but she is not equal to the exertion +of moving." + +"I wish we might go somewhere before Frank returns to school," observed +Dora. "He has had such melancholy holidays." + +"Should you like to go to London?" said Emily. + +Margaret started at the idea. "Oh no!--not to London; any place but +that." + +"I thought you wished it once," said Emily. + +"Yes; but things are altered since then. I shall never wish to go +there." + +Emily looked surprised; but she did not inquire the reason of Margaret's +sudden alteration of feeling, thinking it was most probably caused by +the loss they had all sustained; and remarking that Mr Walton might +perhaps wish to see them before he went away, she proposed that they +should go into the house. The mention of London brought many sad +reflections to Margaret's mind; and while slowly following her sister +and Emily, she began to think of Miss Cunningham, and to wonder what her +feelings had been upon learning all that had happened, and whether the +idea that she had been the origin of it had occurred to distress her. +"Do you think Lucy will go to London without us?" she said to Dora. + +"She will never go at all, if she does not," replied Dora. "Papa will +not consent to her being with us again as she used to be." + +"She will be very sorry about it," said Margaret. + +"Oh! it will not signify to her. She will find other persons to suit +her just as well; and she will go to gay parties, and drive about in the +parks, and forget us, and everything about us." + +"Not everything," said Margaret. "I am sure she cannot forget +everything. She must feel for us." + +"Perhaps she may care for a day or two; but it is not her way to think +on any subject long. Do you think it is?" added Dora, turning to Emily, +and moving aside to allow her to pass before her into the house. + +"I hope it may be, by and by," was the reply; "but I am afraid she has +not been taught to think much as yet." + +"There is one of the Rochford servants coming down the avenue now," said +Dora. "Perhaps he has brought a note or a message." + +"I suppose he is only come as usual to inquire for mamma," said +Margaret. "Morris says Lord Rochford has sent nearly every day." + +There was, however, a note for Margaret, which was given her just as she +was about to go into the drawing-room, but there was no time to read it +till Mr Walton was gone. + +He did not stay long, for he had seen Mrs Harrington, and was anxious +to return home to keep an engagement; but he was very much pressed to +repeat his visit, especially by Mrs Herbert, who hoped that seeing him +might be effectual in exciting Mrs Harrington's interest. "I think," +she said, "that my sister will take more notice of you another time; +I remarked to-day that she listened more than usual to what you were +saying." + +Mr Walton promised to return, if possible, the next day; and then, +taking his leave, Margaret was at liberty to read Miss Cunningham's +note. It was short, and Margaret thought cool, although there were many +expressions of sympathy for the family. "Her brother," she said, +"had begged her to write, but she had not much to say, though she was +extremely sorry for them, and hoped that Mrs Harrington had not been +very angry with Margaret. She expected soon to be able to drive over +to Emmerton, and, in the meantime, should be very glad to hear of them +all." + +"I would not give much for Miss Cunningham's affection after such a note +as that," said Dora. + +"What did you expect from her?" asked Emily. + +"I don't know, exactly; but any one might have written it; and after +being with us so much, I think she might have said something more. I did +not imagine she cared for me at all, but I thought she had some feeling +for Margaret." + +"Do you think it cool?" said Margaret, turning to Emily. + +"Rather," she replied: "but you could scarcely have supposed she would +have written in any other way." + +"Why not?" asked Amy. + +"Because it is seldom people feel much for sorrows that are not present +to them. If Miss Cunningham had been with us for the last ten days she +would probably have cared very much more." + +"She is so selfish," observed Dora; "she never can sympathise with any +one." + +"Indeed," replied Emily, "I think she would if she were taught to do +it." + +"How can persons be taught to feel?" said Dora; "it must come naturally +to them." + +"Not quite. The feelings are certainly given to us originally, but +they may be very much increased by action. If Miss Cunningham were once +taught to do little trifling kindnesses for her friends she would soon +feel for them. You know it is almost a proverb that benefactors are fond +of those on whom they confer favours." + +"I dare say you may be right," said Dora; "but I cannot imagine +that Lucy Cunningham will ever be anything but a cold, hard-hearted, +disagreeable girl. Margaret perhaps may find out her virtues some day or +other, but I am afraid I never shall." + +Margaret was silent:--she was vexed and disappointed, but did not like +to own it; and she was so fully aware of her unkindness to Emily, that +she expected Lucy to be the same, forgetting how differently they had +been circumstanced. Miss Cunningham's preference had flattered her, +while she believed it real; but she was now beginning to perceive that, +where selfishness is the foundation of the character, no trust can be +placed in any professions of affection. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + + +It was about three weeks afterwards, during which time nothing +particular had occurred to vary Amy's life at Emmerton, that Margaret +received a second note from Miss Cunningham, which gave her much greater +vexation than the former. It was written more naturally, but the tone +was one of considerable annoyance. + +Lord Rochford, at Mr Cunningham's request, had settled that the journey +to London should be postponed another year, as, upon consideration, he +thought Lucy too young to join in any amusements, and not sufficiently +advanced in her education to profit by masters. The French governess +was, therefore, to be dismissed, and another provided, who might be more +equal to instruct her. + +"This is the most provoking part of the whole business," wrote Miss +Cunningham. "Madame was the kindest creature possible, and allowed me +to do just as I chose in everything; and now I shall be pestered from +morning till night by a stiff, formal, odious Englishwoman. And I must +say, Margaret, that it is a very great deal your doing; at least, I am +sure, if I had not gone to Emmerton, nothing of the kind would have been +thought of; and George has grown so disagreeable lately, he is not to be +endured." + +"It would be strange," said Dora, when Margaret showed her the note, +"if, after all, we should go to London, now that Lucy is obliged to stay +at home." + +Margaret was unprepared for the idea, for she had not been so much with +her father as Dora, and was, therefore, not aware of the conversation +that had lately passed between him and Mrs Herbert. Dora could not give +her any certain information; but she knew that a plan was in agitation +for some change; and she had overheard Colonel Herbert urging her father +to try London. The reason of this was, not simply that Mrs Harrington +required a different scene to relieve her spirits, but that it was also +considered advisable to have the benefit of further medical advice. She +had, indeed, partly recovered her interest in everyday occurrences, +but her nerves had been so much shaken, that but little discernment was +needed to discover how much she was altered. The necessary orders for +the arrangement of the house were given as usual, but she had entirely +lost the quick, restless activity which had formerly made her notice +even the minutest inattention to her wishes; and when her morning +occupations were over, she would sit abstracted and silent for hours, +having apparently neither the power nor the inclination to move. Every +noise startled, and every exertion was a trouble to her; her days were +gloomy, and her nights disturbed: and her husband could not but have +many anxious fears for the future, if she were to continue long in such +a state. The only thing which really seemed to rouse and comfort her was +the conversation of Mr Walton, whose visits at the Hall were now almost +of daily occurrence. At first she had allowed him in silence to talk +to Mrs Herbert; but, after a time, her interest in his observations was +awakened; and Mrs Herbert, perceiving it, took frequent opportunities of +leaving them together, and although the result of these interviews was +as yet but slightly apparent, they gave Mrs Herbert many sanguine hopes +that they might eventually be of infinite service. + +As Mrs Harrington's health improved, Colonel Herbert became desirous of +returning to the cottage, for he longed to enter upon the plan of life +which he had so often pictured to himself; and he was afraid that, +whilst Mrs Herbert remained at Emmerton, she would continue to exert +herself far beyond her strength. It was impossible, also, that Miss +Morton should recover her spirits whilst in a place where everything +reminded her of little Rose; for although Amy was her constant +companion, her occupations were gone, and her feelings unsettled; and +Colonel Herbert, who watched her with interest, saw in her subdued, +melancholy countenance an additional inducement for hastening his +departure. Mrs Harrington strongly objected to the idea of going +to London, when the proposition was first made; but her husband's +uneasiness at length prevailed on her to consent, much to the distress +of Margaret, who could look forward to nothing but gloom in a journey +undertaken under such different circumstances from what she had +originally anticipated. "I wish," she said to Dora, when the plan was +mentioned as positively settled, "that my uncle had proposed anything +else; there might have been a little pleasure in going to some other +place, but there can be nothing but dulness and misery in London." + +"Yes," said Dora; "I really think that sometimes having what we wish +is a punishment to us; not that I ever cared for London as you did, +Margaret; but I used to fancy that it would be nice to see all the +sights." + +"I will never wish again," said Margaret; "it only makes one +disappointed when the time comes, I suppose now we shall go to a dull, +quiet part of the town, and not see any one." + +"And have lessons," continued Dora, "without any person to help us, as +Emily would have done; and be engaged all day besides in attending upon +mamma." + +Margaret remembered her conversation with Miss Cunningham, when she had +been threatened with almost precisely the same kind of life; and it +was impossible not to feel that what Dora had said might be true; +her punishment seemed, indeed, to have been sent in the partial +gratification of the wishes she had so wrongly indulged. + +"How I envy Amy," she exclaimed. "Everything will be delightful to her, +and everything will be wretched to us." + +"Amy deserves happiness," said Dora. "If we were to change places +to-morrow, we should not feel as she does." + +"No," replied Margaret. "I don't think I should quite like living in +that small cottage, and having things so different from what they are +here; but she does not care about it." + +"I think she used to do so," said Dora; "but I am sure she must have +seen lately that luxuries are no comfort when people are unhappy. It is +not because of the cottage being smaller that I think we should not be +happy if we lived there, but because we are not at all like Amy." + +"Of course not," replied Margaret; "what two people in the world are +alike? And then we have been brought up so differently." + +"A great many people are alike, though," said Dora; "my aunt, and uncle, +and Emily are, and Mr Walton, too; and I would rather think and feel as +they do than live in a palace." + +"Would you?" said Margaret. "I am not sure about that." + +"But indeed," replied Dora, "it must be better. I never thought about +it till I knew Amy; but now I am quite certain. All such persons seem to +carry about their happiness with them." + +"Not always. I have seen Amy unhappy; and Emily Morton, we all know, has +been miserable." + +"Yes," said Dora; "but I am sure it is not like our unhappiness. There +is always something to comfort them, because they think their troubles +are sent them, and that they shall be happy when they die, even if they +are ever so miserable now, I could bear anything if I did not think it +would last for ever." + +"But how should it?" said Margaret. "You know everything will come to an +end at some time or other." + +"Oh Margaret!" exclaimed her sister, "please don't talk so." + +"Why not? it is true." + +"No," replied Dora; "it cannot be true to say that troubles will come to +an end when we die, if we have not tried to do right. Amy put it into my +head to think about it one night, when I was with her as she was going +to bed. She said that sleep was like death, and perhaps we might never +wake again; and ever since that I have never gone to sleep without +remembering it; and sometimes I become so frightened." + +"I should be frightened too," said Margaret, "if I thought about it; but +I never do; it is very disagreeable." + +"Amy does not think it disagreeable," answered Dora. "She told me that +same night how happy she was when she went to bed; and that she thought +angels watched over her. Oh, how I wish I could be like her!" + +"It makes me uncomfortable to think of it," said Margaret. "It must be +impossible!" + +"I should be glad to try, though," replied Dora. "I never saw any one +else who made me wish it half as much. Almost all other good persons we +have known have been so much older: and I never believed it was possible +to be so good when one was so young." + +"It will be very nice to have her here again when we come back from +London," said Margaret; "and Emily Morton, too. I could never bear this +place now if it were not for them." + +At this instant Amy ran hastily into the room--evidently the bearer +of some news which she was anxious to communicate. "Do you know," she +exclaimed, "when you are going?" + +"No," replied Dora. "Papa, I think, has written about a house, but he +has not had an answer." + +"The answer is just come," continued Amy; "and there is some reason why +you must hasten, rather: so my uncle says. I believe you must take the +house from next Monday; and, therefore, you are all to leave Emmerton on +Tuesday, and to be in London on Wednesday." + +"So very soon," said Dora, looking grave. + +"I was in hopes you would like it," replied Amy. "I know you did not +wish it at first, but I fancied when the time came you really would be +glad. Frank is delighted, because my uncle says he shall stay a day or +two extra with you in London before he goes to school." + +"And you will go back to the cottage," said Dora. "What a happy party +you will be!" + +"Not Miss Morton," replied Amy; "I don't think she will smile heartily +for some time to come. But mamma wishes her to have everything just as +she likes: and we are to walk to the cottage this afternoon to give some +orders about her room, and then we are to call at the rectory." + +"I should like to go with you," said Dora; "but mamma will want me at +home; there will be so many things to be done now, the time is so short. +Are you quite sure it is fixed?" + +"I heard my uncle talking to papa about it; and he said some of the +servants were to go on Monday to have everything ready for you. But, +dear Margaret, don't look so very sad." + +"I cannot help it," said Margaret, bursting into tears. "Two months ago +it would have given me such pleasure; and now it is so miserable." + +"You will like it when you are there, I dare say," replied Amy. + +"Oh no; how can I? What will there be that will be pleasant, with mamma +ill and in bad spirits, and not going out anywhere, or seeing any one?" + +"Should you have liked it better if Miss Cunningham had been there at +the same time?" asked Amy. + +"No," replied Margaret, almost indignantly. "It will never give me any +pleasure to be with her again. She does not care for me, or for any +one but herself; and she does nothing but blame me for everything that +happens that she does not like. I wish sincerely I had never seen or +heard of her; perhaps then all might have been as it used to be." + +"It can do no good to think so now," observed Dora, sighing. "We had +better make the best of it all, and go and ask mamma what orders we are +to give to Morris." + +"Will Susan Reynolds go too? It would be rather nice having both of +them," said Margaret. + +"Susan Reynolds is not to stay with us," replied Dora. "There will +be nothing for her to do. Perhaps, Amy, my aunt will take her to the +cottage." + +"No, she will not do that," answered Amy; "because I asked her about +it yesterday, and she said it would be an additional servant; and papa +would not like it: but Mrs Saville, I believe, has determined on taking +her; and mamma thinks Susan will be quite contented with her by and by, +though just now she is very unhappy at leaving Miss Morton." + +"I am glad she is not going far away," said Dora. "I have liked her +lately a great deal better than Morris." + +"I like her," observed Amy, "because she is so fond of Miss Morton, +and was so kind and thoughtful the other day, when she was in such +distress." + +Margaret's face flushed upon hearing this allusion to the suffering of +which she had been the cause, for she could never think of it without +pain; and each day, as she became more alive to Emily's goodness, she +wondered more at her own selfishness. There was now, however, but little +time for reflection--so much was to be quickly arranged in consequence +of the hasty departure, that every moment was occupied: and Margaret +began to forget her sorrow in the bustle of preparation. The excitement +was of use also to Mrs Harrington. She gave her orders with something +like energy, and seemed to have recovered a portion of her former +quickness of discernment; yet Mrs Herbert remarked little instances of +consideration, which had before been quite foreign to her character. +She herself collected many things that had belonged to little Rose, and +giving them to Mrs Herbert, requested that they might be kept for +Miss Morton till after they were gone; and, on the day previous to the +journey, she called Emily to her room, and, after expressing how much +she felt for the affectionate care that had always been evinced to her +darling child, she put into her hands a gold locket, enclosing a bright +curl of chestnut hair, which she begged might be worn for the sake +of one who had been very precious to them both. Emily was more deeply +touched by the tone in which this was spoken than even by the action +itself. It told of a broken, humble spirit; and much as she longed to +comfort a mother's grief, she could not but rejoice in the effect that +it appeared likely to produce on her character. + +"We shall see you again to-morrow, as we pass the cottage," said Mrs +Harrington, when Emily had warmly thanked her for this remembrance; +"Colonel Herbert insists upon our calling; but it will only be for a +moment, as we shall have a long day's journey before us." + +"Perhaps," said Emily, "you would allow me to remain here to-night. I +might be able to assist you; and it would be a pleasure to me to think +that my last evening at Emmerton had been a useful one." + +But Mrs Harrington would on no account listen to the proposal. She saw +that Emily was feeling very much even then, and she knew that it would +be far worse for her on the following morning, when the house would be +left silent and deserted, "I shall be glad," she said, "to think that +we leave you comfortably settled with friends who are so much interested +about you; and I am sure neither Mrs Herbert nor Amy would bear the +thought of your staying behind." + +Emily did not press the proposal, for she was conscious that to act +upon it would give her much pain; but she employed the hour that elapsed +before the carriage was ordered to take them to the cottage in arranging +different things for Dora and Margaret, which they did not understand +themselves, and which Morris thought herself too busy to attend to. + +The moment for departure at length arrived; but Amy would not allow that +she was saying "good-bye," for she dwelt upon the thought of seeing her +cousins the next morning. + +"It is good-bye to Emmerton, though," said Dora. + +"Yes," replied Amy; "and I don't like it at all, now it is come to +the point. I shall always avoid the place till your return. It will be +nearly the summer then, I suppose, or, at least, it will be quite late +in the spring." + +"You must write very often," said Dora, "it will be our greatest +pleasure when we are shut up in London." And then, turning to Emily, she +added, "I have no right to ask any favour of you; but you do not know +how glad we should be to hear from you. We should think then that you +had quite forgiven us." + +"I cannot write for that purpose," said Emily, endeavouring to smile; +"but if you will let me tell you how I am, and what I am doing, for my +own satisfaction, I think you will not find me negligent." + +"It seems," said Amy, "as if I had a great many things to say; but +everything is ready, and papa and mamma are waiting. You will be sure +and call to-morrow." + +Emily would have spoken again, but her heart was full. Even the prospect +of her life at the cottage could not, at that moment, make her forget +all that had once constituted the charm of Emmerton; and with a feeling +of regard for Dora and Margaret, which a few months before she would +have thought it almost impossible to experience, silently and sadly she +followed Amy to the carriage. + +The fire blazed cheerfully in the breakfast-room at Emmerton Cottage on +the following morning, and the sun shone brightly through the window, +as if to prophesy that the gloom of the winter would speedily be passed +away. And there were faces assembled round the table, which suited well +with the brilliancy of the weather. Even Emily, as she seated herself by +Mrs Herbert's side, and listened to her tones of kindness, and watched +Colonel Herbert's attention to her most trifling wishes, could scarcely +feel sad; or if an occasional shadow crossed her mind, it vanished as +she looked upon Amy, and saw the deep, tranquil happiness expressed in +every feature of her countenance. It was the happiness not merely of +external circumstances, but of the inmost heart; for Amy's recollections +of the past were as peaceful as her hope for the future was unclouded; +and the blessing of a holy, humble spirit, was one which no wealth could +have purchased. Many glances were turned to the window to watch for the +carriage from Emmerton; but breakfast was nearly over before it was seen +turning the corner of the lane. Amy ran to the door to beg that they +would come in; but Mr Harrington thought it better not, as they were +already so much later than they had intended. The joint entreaties of +Dora and Margaret at last, however, prevailed, though the permission was +granted only for one instant. + +"I wished so much to do it," said Dora, "because I want to fancy how you +go on when we are in London; and it will not seem natural to think that +Emily is here unless I have seen her." + +"I can hardly believe that she is really living with us," replied Amy; +"but I should be dreadfully sorry to think that it was not true." + +Dora's glance around the room was but momentary, yet it was sufficient +to make her feel how blest Amy must be with such a home, and such +parents. "I could envy you, Amy, so very much," she said, after they had +both spoken a few kind words to Emily, and urged her not to forget her +promise of writing; "yes, I could envy you for everything." + +"Not envy," said Colonel Herbert; "you would not wish to deprive her of +her blessings." + +"No," answered Dora; "but I would wish to share them; every one wishes +for happiness." + +"And every one might find it," observed Colonel Herbert, "if they +would but seek for it rightly. Perhaps, though, I was wrong in saying +happiness; but peace, which is the nearest approach to it on earth, is +in every one's power." + +Mr Harrington's voice was heard calling to his daughters to hasten; and +the conversation was abruptly broken off. + +"What did your papa mean, Amy?" said Dora, as she stood upon the step of +the carriage. "Just tell me, in one word, if you can, that I may think +about it." + +"He must have meant," answered Amy, "what I have often been told, that +when people are good their hearts are at peace, and then no sorrow can +really make them miserable." + +Dora had not time to reply. The parting words were once more spoken; the +carriage drove from the door; and Amy returned to her happy fireside, +and the enjoyment of the blessing she had that moment described. + +Mr and Mrs Harrington returned with their family to Emmerton; and to a +careless observer, it might have seemed that the death of their +child had produced but a passing impression on their minds. The first +bitterness of grief was gradually softened by time and the daily +occupations of life, and calmness, and even cheerfulness, were at length +restored to them. But the effects of their sorrow were not the less +real, because exhibited in action rather than in words. They were to +be seen in a constant observance of family worship, in an increasing +attention to their children and servants, and in the untiring exertions +which were made to assist Mr Walton in providing for the comfort and +instruction of the poor. The change was felt by every one within the +reach of their influence; but to Dora, it was a blessing beyond all +price, for Emmerton was so retired as to oblige her to depend entirely +upon her home for happiness; and in her parents she now met not only +with affection, but sympathy, and, from their example, learnt to find +her chief satisfaction in the quiet performance of everyday duties. Of +Miss Cunningham she saw but little, Mrs Harrington being too fully alive +to the defects of her disposition and education, to feel any longer +inclined to cultivate an intimacy which had once been considered of so +much importance; and although Margaret's character differed too widely +from Dora's to afford all that was required in a friend, her sister +was enabled, by continual watchfulness, to bear with her failings, and +cherish her better qualities, while the society of Amy gave her the +great blessing of confidence and mutual interest, which formerly she had +so much needed. + +And years passed on, and Emily Morton was still an inmate of the +cottage. Amy no longer depended upon her instruction, but the blessing +of her love and her example, when once felt, it was hard to part from; +and neither Colonel Herbert nor his wife could willingly consent again +to cast upon the mercy of the world one who had gradually become dear to +them as their eldest child. Colonel Herbert had prophesied truly, when +he said that the summer of Emily's life was yet to come. The remembrance +of Rose never faded from her mind, but it was blended with a calm and +lasting gratitude for the mercy which had taken her in her innocence +to a world where there was no sin; and Amy's deep affection, and +never-ceasing consideration for her happiness, filled up entirely the +aching void, which would otherwise have been left in her heart. Neither +was there any cause now to fear lest Miss Morton should be treated with +ridicule or contempt at Emmerton, for the feelings with which she was +there regarded were those of the truest esteem and regard; a regard +heightened by the circumstances which had for ever associated her with +the remembrance of little Rose. + +And of Amy herself, what more need be said? If the cottage had been a +scene of happiness, when shared only with her mother, its enjoyment was +tenfold increased by the presence of her father and Miss Morton. Mrs +Herbert's health was, for some time, a source of anxiety; but care, and +the tranquillity of her domestic life, by degrees restored her natural +strength, and Amy's mind was then completely at rest; and although, +as she grew up, the romance with which she had once invested Emmerton +partially vanished, her pleasure in visiting it became more real as she +felt, day by day, that her cousins were more fully her friends, and able +to enter into her highest and purest pleasures. And there were times +when even the visions of her childhood seemed realised. The chapel was +opened for daily service whenever the opportunity offered; and Amy could +then yield to the influence of its hallowed beauty, without one sigh of +regret, as she gazed, not upon noble knights and high-born ladies, but +upon those she best loved on earth, about to join in the solemn act of +united worship, and to offer to their Maker, not only the sacrifice of +their lips, but also of their hearts and lives. + +Amy's lot was indeed blessed; blessed in her parents, her relations, +and her friends; but, above all, blessed in that she had been taught to +remember her Creator in the days of her youth, and could look forward +with calm confidence to the Divine support in the "evil days," which +must come upon all. + + + +THE END. + + + + + +PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE, HANSON AND CO. + +EDINBURGH AND LONDON. + + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AMY HERBERT*** + + +******* This file should be named 36156.txt or 36156.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/6/1/5/36156 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will be +renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no one +owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and +you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission +and without paying copyright royalties. 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