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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/35012-8.txt b/35012-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a14dc62 --- /dev/null +++ b/35012-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6259 @@ +Project Gutenberg's A Search For A Secret (Vol 1 of 3), by G. A. Henty + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Search For A Secret (Vol 1 of 3) + A Novel + +Author: G. A. Henty + +Release Date: January 20, 2011 [EBook #35012] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SEARCH FOR A SECRET (VOL 1 OF 3) *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards, Mary Meehan and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + + A SEARCH FOR A SECRET. + + A Novel. + + BY G. A. HENTY. + + + IN THREE VOLUMES. + + VOL. I. + + LONDON: + TINSLEY BROTHERS, 18, CATHERINE ST., STRAND. + 1867. + + LONDON: + WYMAN AND SONS, PRINTERS, GREAT QUEEN STREET, + LINCOLN'S-INN FIELDS, W.C. + + + + +CONTENTS OF VOL. I. + + +CHAPTER I. EARLY DAYS + +CHAPTER II. THE HARMERS OF HARMER PLACE + +CHAPTER III. "L'HOMME PROPOSE, DIEU DISPOSE" + +CHAPTER IV. THE LAST OF THE HARMERS + +CHAPTER V. TESTAMENTARY INTENTIONS + +CHAPTER VI. THE BISHOP OF RAVENNA + +CHAPTER VII. SOCIETY GRACIOUSLY CONDESCENDS + +CHAPTER VIII. INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD + +CHAPTER IX. THE OLD STORY + +CHAPTER X. SUNSHINE AND SHADOW + +CHAPTER XI. LAYING A TRAIN + +CHAPTER XII. THE EXPLOSION + +CHAPTER XIII. A BAD BUSINESS + +CHAPTER XIV. MISSING! + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +EARLY DAYS. + + +There are towns over which time seems to exercise but little power, but +to have passed them by forgotten, in his swift course. Everywhere else, +at his touch, all is changed. Great cities rise upon the site of fishing +villages; huge factories, with their smoky chimneys grow up and +metamorphose quiet towns into busy hives of industry; while other +cities, once prosperous and flourishing, sink into insignificance; and +the passer by, as he wanders through their deserted streets, wonders and +laments over the ruin which has fallen upon them. + +But the towns of which I am speaking--and of which there are but few now +left in England, and these, with hardly an exception, cathedral +towns--seem to suffer no such change. They neither progress nor fall +back. If left behind, they are not beaten in the race, for they have +never entered upon it; but are content to rest under the shelter of +their tall spires and towers; to seek for no change and to meet with +none; but to remain beloved, as no other towns are loved, by those who +have long known them--assimilating, as it were, the very natures of +those who dwell in them, to their own sober, neutral tints. + +In these towns, a wanderer who has left them as a boy, returning as an +old, old man, will see but little change--a house gone here, another +nearly similar built in its place; a greyer tint upon the stone; a tree +fallen in the old close; the ivy climbing a little higher upon the +crumbling wall;--these are all, or nearly all, the changes which he will +see. The trains rush past, bearing their countless passengers, who so +rarely think of stopping there, that the rooks, as they hold their grave +conversations in their nests in the old elm-trees, cease to break off, +even for a moment, at the sound of the distant whistle. The very people +seem, although this is but seeming, to have changed as little as the +place: the same names are over the shop doors--the boy who was at school +has taken his grand-sire's place, and stands at his door, looking down +the quiet street as the old man used to do before him; the dogs are +asleep in the sunny corners they formerly loved; and the same horses +seem to be lazily drawing the carts, with familiar names upon them, into +the old market-place. The wanderer may almost fancy that he has awoke +from a long, troubled dream. It is true that if he enters the little +churchyard, he will see, beneath the dark shadows of the yew-trees, more +gravestones than there were of old; but the names are so similar, that +it is only upon reading them over, that he will find that it is true +after all, and that the friends and playfellows of his childhood, the +strong, merry boys, and the fair girls with sunny ringlets, sleep +peacefully there. But it is not full yet; and he may hope that, when his +time shall come, there may be some quiet nook found, where, even as a +child, he may have fancied that he would like some day to rest. + +Among these cities pre-eminent, as a type of its class, is the town in +which I now sit down to recount the past events of my life, and of the +lives of those most dear to me--not egotistically, I hope, nor thrusting +my own story, in which, indeed, there is little enough, into view; but +telling of those I have known and lived with, as I have noted the events +down in my journal, and at times, when the things I speak of are related +merely on hearsay, dropping that dreadful personal pronoun which will +get so prominent, and telling the story as it was told to me. + +Although not born at Canterbury, I look upon it as my native town, my +city of adoption. My earliest remembrances are of the place; my +childhood and youth were spent there; and, although I was then for a few +years absent, it was for that stormy, stirring time, when life is +wrapped up in persons and not in places, when the mere scene in which +the drama is played out leaves barely an impression upon the mind, so +all-absorbing is the interest in the performers. That time over, I +returned to Canterbury as to my home, and hope, beneath the shadow of +its stately towers, to pass tranquilly down the hill of life, whose +ascent I there made with such eager, strong young steps. + +Dear old Canterbury! It is indeed a town to love with all one's heart, +as it lies, sleeping, as it were, amidst its circle of smiling +hop-covered hills, with its glorious cathedral looking so solemnly down +upon it, with its quiet courts, its shady, secluded nooks and corners, +its quaint, old-fashioned houses, with their many gables and projecting +eaves, and its crumbling but still lofty walls, it gives me somehow the +idea of a perfect haven of rest and peace. It, like me, has seen its +stormy times: Briton, Dane, and Saxon have struggled fiercely before its +walls. It, too, has had its proud dreams, its lofty aspirations; but +they are all over now, and it is, like myself, contented to pass its +days in quiet, resting upon its old associations, and with neither wish +nor anticipation of change in the tranquil tenour of its way. + +I was not, as I have said, born in the town, but went there very +young--so young that I have no remembrance of any earlier time. + +We lived in a large, rambling, old-fashioned house in a back lane. In a +little court before it stood some lime-trees, which, if they helped to +make the front darker and more dismal than it would otherwise have been, +had the good effect of shutting it out from the bad company into which +it had fallen. + +It had at one time been a place of great pretension, and belonged, +doubtless, to some country magnate, and before the little houses in the +narrow lane had sprung up and hemmed it in, it may have had a cheerful +appearance; but, at the time I speak of, the external aspect was +undeniably gloomy. But behind it was very different. There was a lawn +and large garden, at the end of which the Stour flowed quietly along, +and we children were never tired of watching the long streamer-like +green weeds at the bottom waving gently in the current, and the trout +darting here and there among them, or lying immovable, apparently +watching us, until at the slightest noise or motion they would dart away +too quickly for the eye to follow them. + +Inside, it was a glorious home for us, with its great old-fashioned hall +with dark wainscoting and large stags' heads all round it, which seemed +to be watching us children from their eyeless sockets; and its vast +fireplace, with iron dogs, where, in the old days, a fire sufficient for +the roasting of a whole bullock, might have been piled up; with its +grand staircase, with heavy oak balustrades, lit by a great window large +enough for an ordinary church; with its long passages and endless +turnings and backstairs in unexpected places; with all its low, quaint +rooms of every shape except square, and its closets nearly as large as +rooms. + +Oh, it was a delightful house! But very terrible at dusk. Then we would +not have gone along alone those long, dark passages for worlds; for we +knew that the bogies, and other strange things of which our old nurse +told us, would be sure to be lurking and upon the watch. + +It was a wonderful house for echoes, and at night we would steal from +our beds and creep to the top of the grand staircase, and listen, with +hushed breath, to the almost preternaturally loud tick of the old clock +in the hall, which seemed to us to get louder and louder, till at last +the terrors of the place would be almost too much for us, and, at the +sound of some mouse running behind the wainscoting, we would scamper off +to our beds, and bury our heads beneath the clothes, falling into a +troubled sleep, from which we woke, with terrified starts, until the +welcome approach of day, when, as the sun shone brightly in, we would +pluck up courage and laugh at our night's fright. + +Of my quite young days I have not much to say. My brother Harry, who was +two years older than I, went to the King's School; and Polly--who was as +much my junior--and I were supposed to learn lessons from our mother. +Poor mamma! not much learning, I think, did we get from her. She was +always weak and ailing, and had but little strength or spirits to give +to teaching us. When I was twelve, and Polly consequently ten, we had a +governess in of a day, to teach us and keep us in order; but I am afraid +that she found it hard work, for we were sadly wild, noisy girls--at +least, this was the opinion of our unmarried aunts, who came to stay +periodically with us. + +I have not yet spoken of my father, my dear, dear father. How we loved +him, and how he loved us, I cannot even now trust myself to write. As I +sit at my desk his portrait hangs on the wall before me, and he seems to +be looking down with that bright genial eye, that winning smile which he +wore in life. Not only by us was he loved, almost adored, but all who +came in contact with him were attracted in a similar way. To rich or +poor, ill or in health, to all with whom he was in any way associated, +he was friend and adviser. A large man and somewhat portly, with +iron-grey hair, cut short, and brushed upright off his forehead, a +rather dark complexion, a heavy eyebrow, a light-blue eye, very clear +and penetrating, and the whole face softened and brightened by his +genial smile. Very kind and sympathetic to the poor, the sick, and the +erring; pitilessly severe upon meanness, hypocrisy, and vice. He was a +man of great scientific attainments, and his study was crowded with +books and instruments which related to his favourite pursuits. Upon the +shelves were placed models of steam-engines, electrical machines, +galvanic batteries, air-pumps, microscopes, chemical apparatus, and +numberless other models and machinery of which we could not even guess +the uses. Thick volumes of botanical specimens jostled entomological +boxes and cases, butterfly-nets leant in the corner with telescopes, +retorts stood beneath the table, the drawers of which were filled with a +miscellaneous collection indescribable. + +With us children he was firm, yet very kind, ever ready to put aside his +work to amuse us, especially of a winter's evening, when, dinner over, +he always went into his study, to which we would creep, knock gently at +the door, and when allowed to enter, would sit on stools by his side, +looking into the fire, while he told us marvellous tales of enchanters +and fairies. It was at these times, when we had been particularly +good--or at least when he, who was as glad of an excuse to amuse us as +we were to be amused, pretended that we had been so--that he would take +down his chemicals, or electrical apparatus, and show us startling or +pretty experiments, ending perhaps by entrapping one of us into getting +an unexpected electric shock, and then sending us all laughing up to +bed. + +We always called papa Dr. Ashleigh in company. It was one of mamma's +fancies: she called him so herself, and was very strict about our doing +the same upon grand occasions. We did not like it, and I don't think +papa did either, for he would often make a little funny grimace, as he +generally did when anything rather put him out; but as mamma set her +mind upon it so much, he never made any remark or objection. He was +very, very kind to her, and attentive to her wishes, and likes and +dislikes; but their tastes and characters were as dissimilar as it was +possible for those of any two persons to be. + +She was very fond of papa, and was in her way proud to see him so much +looked up to and admired by other people; but I do not think that she +appreciated him for himself as it were, and would have been far happier +had he been a common humdrum country doctor. She could not understand +his devotion to science, his eager inquiry into every novelty of the +day, and his disregard for society in the ordinary sense of the word; +still less could she understand his untiring zeal in his profession. Why +he should be willing to be called up in the middle of a winter's night, +get upon his horse, and ride ten miles into the country on a sudden +summons to some patient, perhaps so poor that to ask payment for his +visit never even entered into the Doctor's mind, was a thing she could +not understand. Home, and home cares occupied all her thoughts, and it +was to her inexpressibly annoying, when, after taking extreme care to +have the nicest little dinner in readiness for his return from work, he +would come in an hour late, be perfectly unconcerned at his favourite +dish being spoilt, and, indeed, be so completely absorbed in the +contemplation of some critical case in his day's practice, as not even +to notice what there was for dinner, but to eat mechanically whatsoever +was put before him. + +Mamma must have been a very pretty woman when she married Dr. Ashleigh. +Pretty is exactly the word which suits her style of face. A very fair +complexion, a delicate colour, a slight figure, light hair, which then +fell in curls, but which she now wore in bands, with a pretty apology +for a cap on the back of her head. She had not much colour left when I +first remember her, unless it came in a sudden flush; but she was still, +we thought, very pretty, although so delicate-looking. She lay upon the +sofa most of the day, and would seldom have quitted it, had she not been +so restlessly anxious about the various household and nursery details, +that every quarter of an hour she would be off upon a tour of inspection +and supervision through the house. She was very particular about our +dress and manners, and I am sure loved us very much; but from her weak +state of health she could not have us long with her at a time. + +It was one bright summer afternoon, I remember well, when I was rather +more than fourteen years old, we had finished our early dinner, Harry +had started for school, and we had taken our books and gone out to +establish ourselves in our favourite haunt, the summer-house at the end +of the garden. This summer-house was completely covered with creepers, +which climbed all over the roof, and hung in thick festoons and +clusters, almost hiding the woodwork, and making it a perfect leafy +bower; only towards the river we kept it clear. It was so charming to +sit there with our toys or our work and watch the fish, the drifting +weeds and fallen leaves, to wonder which would get out of sight first, +and whether they would catch in the wooden piles of the bridge,--for +there was a bridge over from our garden into the fields beyond, where +our cow Brindle was kept, and where our horses were sometimes turned out +to graze, and make holiday. It was a very happy and peaceful spot. When +we were little, the summer-house was our fairy bower; here we could play +with our dolls, and be queens and princesses without fear of +interruption, and sometimes when Harry was with us, we would be Robinson +Crusoes wrecked on a desert island; here we would store up provisions, +and make feasts, here we would find footprints in the sand, and here +above all we would wage desperate battles with imaginary fleets of +canoes full of savages endeavouring to cross the stream. Harry would +stand courageously in front, and we girls carefully concealing ourselves +from the enemy, would keep him supplied with stones from the magazine, +with which he would pour volleys into the water, to the imaginary terror +of the savages, and the real alarm of our friends the fish. With what +zeal did we throw ourselves into these fights, with what excited shouts +and cries, and what delight we felt when Harry proclaimed the victory +complete and the enemy in full flight! + +As time went on, and the dolls were given up, and we could no longer +believe in savages, and began to think romping and throwing stones +unladylike, although at times very pleasant, the summer-house became our +reading-room, and at last, after we had a governess, our schoolroom in +fine weather. This was not obtained without some opposition upon the +part of mamma, who considered it as an irregular sort of proceeding; but +we coaxed papa into putting in a good word for us, and then mamma, who +was only too glad to see us happy, gave in at once. We had but just gone +out, and after a look down at the river and the fish, and across at the +pretty country beyond, had opened our books with a little sigh of +regret, when we heard a footstep coming down the garden and to our +surprise found it was papa. + +"Now girls," he said, "put on your things as quickly as you can. I am +going over to Mr. Harmer at Sturry, and will take you with me. First +though, we must ask mamma's leave. I have no doubt Miss Harrison here, +will be as glad of a holiday as you are." + +Mamma, however, although she seldom opposed any of papa's plans for our +amusement, raised many objections. Indeed, I had for some time past +noticed that she did not like our visiting at Harmer Place. Upon this +occasion she was particularly averse to our going, and said that I "was +getting too old to associate with a person of such extraordinary +antecedents as----." + +We did not hear who the person was, for papa broke in more sternly than +I had ever before heard him speak to mamma, and said that "he differed +from her entirely: for his part he could see no harm whatever in our +going, and that, at any rate until we were of an age to judge for +ourselves, no question of the sort could arise." + +Mamma, directly she saw he was in earnest, said no more, and we set out +soon afterwards, with the understanding that we should most probably not +be back until evening. + +Although neither Polly nor I ever made any remark to each other about +that conversation, we--or at least I can answer for myself--were not the +less astonished at it. It seemed perfectly inexplicable to me. What +objection could there be to our going to the Harmers? I was, as I have +said, past fourteen, and was beginning to think and reason about all +sorts of things, and this was a problem which I tried in vain for a long +time to solve to my satisfaction. How I pondered the matter over in +every light, but ever without success. Mamma had said it was a person. +Now, person generally means a woman, and the only women at Harmer Place +were the two Miss Harmers. Had it been a principle mamma objected to, I +could have understood it, for the Miss Harmers were bigoted Catholics. +Not that that would have made any difference with papa, who looked at +these matters with a very latitudinarian eye. "In my opinion," I have +heard him say, "the sect to which a man belongs makes but little +difference, if he does but do his best according to his belief." + +And I remember that in after years, when we had suffered much, he warned +us not to blame a creed for the acts of its professors. "History has +shown," he would say, "that a bigot, whether he be Catholic, Protestant, +or Mussulman, will be equally a cruel persecutor of others, equally +ready to sacrifice everything which he believes to stand in the way of +his Church." + +I mention this here because I should be very sorry that the feelings of +any one who may ever come to read this story of mine should be hurt, or +that it should be taken to be an attack or even an implication against a +particular form of worship. + +I knew then that although papa objected to the extreme opinions which +the Miss Harmers held, and which had been caused by the exceptional life +which they had led, still the antecedents, to which mamma alluded, could +be no question of religion. And yet the only other female at Harmer +Place was Sophy Needham, the pretty girl we so often met there. She was +an orphan village child, to whom Mr. Harmer had taken such a fancy that +he had sent her, at his own expense, to a London school, and had her +constantly staying at the house with him. But, of course, it could not +be Sophy; for I was quite sure that the fact of her having been a +village girl would not make the slightest difference in either papa's or +mamma's eyes, so far as our associating with her went; and in other +respects there could be no objection, for she was a particularly quiet, +retiring girl, and was two years older than myself. + +The objection, then, did not appear to apply to any one at Harmer Place, +and I puzzled myself in vain upon the subject; and indeed it was not for +some years afterwards that the mystery was solved, or that I found out +that it was indeed Sophy Needham to whom mamma had alluded. There is no +reason why I should make a mystery of it in this journal of mine, which +will be more easily understood by making the matter clear at once, and I +will therefore, before I go on with my own story, relate the history of +the Harmers as nearly as I can as it was told to me. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE HARMERS OF HARMER PLACE. + + +The Harmers of Harmer Place, although of ancient descent, could yet +hardly be ranked among the very old Kentish families, for they could +trace back their history very little beyond the commencement of the +reign of Queen Elizabeth, of pious and Protestant memory. About that +period it is ascertained that they were small landed proprietors, +probably half gentry, half farmers. All documentary and traditional +history goes to prove that the Harmers of those days were a stiff-necked +race, and that their consciences were by no means of the same plastic +nature as those of the great majority of their neighbours. They could +not, for the life of them, see why--because the Royal family had all of +a sudden come to the conclusion that the old Roman religion, in which +their fore-fathers had for so many centuries worshipped, was after all +wrong, that therefore the whole nation was bound to make the same +discovery at the same moment. + +So the Harmers clung to the old faith, and were looked upon with +grievous disfavour in consequence by the authorities for the time being. +Many were the domiciliary visits paid them, and grievous were the fines +inflicted upon them for nonconformity. Still, whether from information +privately sent to them previous to these researches, or whether from the +superior secrecy and snugness of their "Priest's chamber," certain it +is, that although frequently denounced and searched, no priest or +emissary of papacy was ever found concealed there; and so, although +constantly harassed and vexed, they were suffered to remain in +possession of their estate. + +As generation of Harmers succeeded generation, they continued the same +stiff-necked race, clinging to their old tenets, and hardening their +hearts to all inducements to desert them. Over and over again they went +through "troublous times," especially when those God-fearing and +enlightened Puritans domineered it over England. In after reigns +difficulties arose, but the days of persecution were over then, and they +had nothing to undergo comparable to their former trials. + +It would have been naturally supposed that as at the commencement of the +reign of Elizabeth the Harmers were by no means a wealthy race, they +would speedily have been shorn of all the little property they then +possessed. But it was not so. The more they were persecuted so much the +more they flourished, and from mere farmers they speedily rose to the +rank of county families. + +One reason, doubtless, for their immunity from more than comparatively +petty persecutions, such as fines and imprisonments, was, that the +Harmers never took any part in political affairs; neither in plots, nor +risings, nor civil wars, were they ever known actively to interfere. + +As the Harmers were in other respects an obstinate, quarrelsome race, +stubborn in will, strong in their likes and dislikes, it was singular +that they should never have actively bestirred themselves in favour of +the cause which they all had so strongly at heart. The popular belief on +the matter was, that a settled and traditional line of policy had been +recommended, and enforced upon the family, by their priests; namely, to +keep quite neutral in politics, in order that there might be at least +one house in the country--and that, from its proximity to the sea-coast, +peculiarly suitable to the purpose,--where, in cases of necessity, a +secure hiding-place could be relied on. Mother Church is very good to +her obedient children; and if the Harmers gave up their personal +feelings for her benefit, and sheltered her ministers in time of peril, +she no doubt took care that in the long run they should not be losers. +And so, while their Roman Catholic neighbours threw themselves into +plots and parties, and lost house and land, and not uncommonly life, the +Harmers rode quietly through the gale, thriving more and more under the +small persecutions they suffered for the faith's sake. And thus it +happened that going into troubles as small proprietors in the reign of +Elizabeth, they came out of them in that of George, owners of a large +estate and a rambling old mansion in every style of architecture. + +After that date, persecution having ceased, and "Priests' chambers" +being no longer useful, the Harmers ceased to enlarge their boundaries, +and lived retired lives on their property, passing a considerable +portion of their time on the Continent. + +Robert Harmer had, contrary to the usual custom of his ancestors, six +children--four sons and two daughters. Edward was, of course, intended +to inherit the family property, and was brought up in accordance with +the strictest traditions of his race; Robert was also similarly +educated, in order to be fitted to take his brother's place should +Edward not survive his father, or die leaving no heirs; Gregory was +intended for the priesthood; and Herbert, the youngest of all, was left +to take his chance in any position which the influence of his family or +Church might obtain for him. + +Herbert Harmer, however, was not so ready as the rest of his family to +submit his judgment without question to that of others; and having, when +about sixteen, had what he conceived an extremely heavy and unfair +penance imposed upon him for some trifling offence, he quitted his home, +leaving a letter behind him stating his intention of never returning to +it. Herbert Harmer was not of the stuff of which a docile son of Holy +Church is made; of a warm and affectionate disposition, and a naturally +buoyant, joyous frame of mind, the stern and repressive discipline to +which he was subjected, and the monotonous existence he led in his +father's house, seemed to him the height of misery. + +The lad, when he turned his back on home, knew little of the world. He +had lived the life almost of a recluse, never stirring beyond the +grounds of the mansion except to attend mass at the Roman Catholic +chapel at Canterbury, and this only upon grand occasions, as the family +confessor, who acted also as his tutor, resided in the village, and +ordinarily performed the service at the chapel attached to the place. + +Companions he had none. Gregory, the brother next to him in age, was +away in Italy studying for the priesthood; Cecilia and Angela he had +seen but seldom, as they also were abroad, being educated in a convent; +Edward and Robert were young men nearly ten years older than himself, +and were when at home his father's companions rather than his, and both +were of grave taciturn disposition, ascetic and bigoted even beyond the +usual Harmer type. + +Thrown therefore almost entirely upon his own resources, Herbert had +sought what companionship he best could. Books, first and best; but of +these his stock was limited. Religious and controversial treatises, +church histories, and polemical writings formed the principal part of +the library, together with a few volumes of travel and biography which +had somehow found their way there. On a library so limited as this the +boy could not employ his whole time, but had to seek amusement and +exercise out of doors, and the only companion he had there, was perhaps +of all others the very one with whom he would have been most strictly +forbidden to associate, had their intimacy been guessed at. + +Robert Althorpe was the son of a tenant on the estate, and was a man of +thirty or thereabouts. Originally a wild, reckless lad, he had, as many +an English boy has done before and since, ran away to sea, and, after +nearly fifteen years absence, had lately returned with only one arm, +having lost the other in a naval engagement. On his return he had been +received with open arms by his father, as at that time (that is, in the +year 1795) all England was wild with our naval glory. And now Robert +Althorpe passed his time, sitting by the fire smoking, or wandering +about to relate his tales of adventure among the farmhouses of the +country, at each of which he was received as a welcome guest. + +The sailor took a particular fancy to young Herbert Harmer, whose +ignorance of the world and eager desire to hear something of it, and +whose breathless attention to his yarns, amused and gratified him. On +many a summer afternoon, then, when Herbert had finished his prescribed +course of study, he would slip quietly away to meet Robert Althorpe, and +would sit for hours under the trees listening to tales of the world and +life of which he knew so little. Robert had in his period of service +seen much; for those were stirring times. He had taken part in the +victories of Howe and Jervis, and in the capture of the numerous West +Indian isles. He had fought, too, under the invincible Nelson at the +Nile, in which battle he had lost his arm. He had been stationed for two +years out on the Indian coast, and Herbert above all loved to hear of +that wonderful country, then the recent scene of the victories of Clive +and Hastings. + +When therefore he left his home, the one fixed idea in Herbert Harmer's +mind was, that first of all he would go to sea, and that then he would +some day visit India; both which resolutions he carried into effect. + +It was some ten years after, when the memory of the young brother of +whom they had seen so little had nearly faded from the minds of his +family, that a letter arrived from him, addressed to his father, but +which was opened by his brother Edward as the head of the house, the old +man having been three years before laid in the family vault. Gregory too +was dead, having died years previously of a fever contracted among the +marshes near Rome. The contents of the letter, instead of being hailed +with the delight with which news from a long lost prodigal is usually +greeted, were received with unmingled indignation and horror. + +A solemn family conclave was held in the old library, Edward Harmer at +the head of the table, Father Paul at the foot, and the contents of the +letter were taken into formal consideration. A joint answer was then +drawn up, stating the horror and indignation with which his +communication had been received--that the anathema had been passed +against him, that to them he was dead for ever, and that they regretted +that he had ever been born at all. + +All this was expressed at great length, and with that exceedingly +complicated bitterness of cursing, which is a characteristic of the +Roman Church when roused. At the end, each of the family signed his or +her name, and the priest added his, with a cross affixed there to, as a +token for ever against him. + +The contents of the letter which had caused all this commotion of +spirit, were briefly as follows. + +Herbert had gone to sea, and had for two years voyaged to different +parts of the world. At the end of that time he had arrived in India, and +there leaving his ship, had determined to cast his lot. After various +employments, he had finally obtained a situation as a clerk to a planter +up the country, whose daughter he had three years afterwards married; he +was now doing well, and hoped that his father would forgive his having +ran away from home. + +So far the letter was satisfactory enough, it was the final paragraph +which had caused the explosion of family wrath against him--namely, that +his wife was a Protestant, and that having carefully examined the Bible +with her, he had come to the conclusion that the Reformed Church more +closely carried out the precepts and teachings of that book than his +own. That he was afraid this would prove a serious annoyance to his +father; but that, as he was so far away, and should never be likely to +return to obtrude the new religion he had adopted upon them, he hoped +that it would be no bar to his continuing an amicable correspondence +with them. + +This hope was, as has been seen, not destined to be realized. The answer +was sealed and duly sent off, and henceforth Herbert Harmer, as far as +his family was concerned, ceased to have any existence. It was nearly +twenty years before they again heard of him, and then the news came that +he had returned to England, a widower, bringing his only son, a young +man of about twenty-one years old, with him; that he had purchased a +house in the neighbourhood of London, and that he did not intend to +return to India. + +Very shortly after his return, a letter from him was received by his +elder brother, but immediately it was opened, and the first line showed +from whom it came, it was closed unread, resealed, and returned to the +writer. + +During the thirty years which Herbert Harmer had been absent, the old +place had certainly not improved. Edward and Robert had both been +married, but were, like their brother, widowers. Edward never had +children. Robert had several born to him, but all had died quite young. +The sisters had remained single. + +It was a gloomy house in those days. They all lived together there. +Father Paul was long since dead, and Father Gabriel literally +reigned in his stead--a man even more gloomy and bigoted than his +predecessors--chosen probably on that account, as being in keeping with +the character of the people to whom he ministered. An unhappy family; +unhappy in their lives and dispositions, unhappy in the view they had +taken of religion and its duties, very unhappy--and this was the only +count to which they themselves would have pleaded guilty--very unhappy +because the old line of Harmer would die with them, and that there was +none of the name to inherit after them; for that Herbert the apostate +should succeed them, that a Protestant Harmer should dwell where his +Catholic ancestors had so long lived, was never even for a moment +discussed as a possibility: the very idea would have been a desecration, +at which their dead fathers would have moved in their graves. Better, a +thousand times better, that the old place should go to strangers. And so +Edward's will was made; everything was done that could be done, and they +dwelt in gloomy resignation, waiting for the end. + +That end was to come to some of them sooner than they expected. + +Edward and Robert Harmer had one interest, one worldly amusement, in +which they indulged. As young men they had been for some time together +at Genoa, and in that town of mariners they had become passionately +attached to the sea. This taste they had never lost, and they still +delighted occasionally to go out for a day's sailing, in a small +pleasure yacht, which they kept at the little fishing-village of Herne +Bay. She was an open boat, of about eight tons, and was considered a +good sea-boat for her size. In this, with two men to sail her, under the +command of an old one-armed sailor, whom they employed because he had +once lived on the estate, they would go out for hours, once a week or +so; not on fine sunny days--in them they had no pleasure--but when the +wind blew fresh, and the waves broke a tawny yellow on the sand, and the +long banks off the coast were white with foaming breakers. It was a +strange sight in such weather, to see the two men, now from fifty to +sixty years old, and very similar in face and figure, taking their +places in the stern of their little craft, while the boatmen, in their +rough-weather coats and fearnought hats, hoisted the sails and prepared +for sea. + +Very quiet they would sit, while the spray dashed over them, and the +boat tore across the surface of the water, with a smile half glad, half +defiant, on their dark features, till the one-armed captain would say, +touching his hat, "It is getting wilder, your honours; I think we had +better put about." Then they would give an assenting gesture, and the +boat's head would be turned to shore, where they would arrive, wet +through and storm-beaten, but with a deep joy in their hearts, such as +they experienced at no other time. + +But once they went out, and came back alive no more. It happened thus. +It was the 3rd of March, and the morning was overcast and dull; there +was wind, though not strong, coming in short sudden puffs, and then +dying away again. The brothers started early, and drove over, through +the village of Herne, to the little fishing-hamlet in the bay, and +stopped at the cottage of the captain, as he termed himself, of their +little yacht. The old sailor came out to the door. + +"You are not thinking of going out to-day, your honours, are you?" + +"Why not?" Edward Harmer asked; "don't you think there will be wind +enough?" + +"Aye, aye, your honour, wind enough, and more than enough before long; +there is a gale brewing up there;" and the old man shaded his eyes with +his remaining hand, and looked earnestly at the clouds. + +"Pooh, pooh, man!" Robert Harmer said; "there is no wind to speak of +yet, although I think with you that it may come on to blow as the sun +goes down. What then? It is nearly easterly, so if we sail straight out +we can always turn and run back again before the sea gets up high enough +to prevent us. You know we are always ready to return when you give the +word." + +The old sailor made no further remonstrance, but summoning the two young +men who generally accompanied them, he busied himself in carrying down +the oars, and making preparations to launch the little boat which was to +carry them to where the yacht was moored about a hundred yards out, with +many quiet disapproving shakes of his head as he did so. They were soon +in, and launched through the waves, which were breaking with a long, +heavy, menacing roar. It was not rough yet, but even in the quarter of +an hour which had elapsed between their arrival at the village, and +reaching the side of the yacht, the aspect of the weather had changed +much; the gusts of wind came more frequently, and with far greater +force, whitening the surface of the water, and tearing off the tops of +the waves in sheets of spray. The dull heavy clouds overhead were +beginning to break up suddenly, as if stirred by some mighty force +within themselves, great openings and rents seemed torn asunder in the +dark curtain, and then as suddenly closed up again; but through these +momentary openings, the scud could be seen flying rapidly past in the +higher regions of the air. + +On reaching the side of the yacht, which was rolling heavily on the +rising waves, the one-armed sailor again glanced at the brothers to see +if they noticed these ominous signs, and if they made any change in +their determination; but they gave no signs of doing so. Their faces +were both set in that expression of stern pleasure which they always +wore on occasions like this, and with another disapproving shake of his +head, even more decided than those in which he had before indulged, he +turned to assist the men in fastening the boat they had come in to the +moorings to await their return, in loosing the sails, and taking a +couple of reefs in them, and preparing for a start. + +In another five minutes the little craft was far out at sea, ploughing +her way through the ever increasing waves, dashing them aside from her +bows in sheets of spray, and leaving a broad white track behind her. + +The wind was getting up every minute, and blew with a hoarse roar across +the water. + +Before they had been gone fifteen minutes, the old sailor felt that it +was indeed madness to go farther. He saw that the force of the wind was +already more than the boat could bear, and was momentarily increasing, +and that the sea was fast getting up under its power. + +But as his counsel had been already once disregarded, he determined to +let the first order for return come from the brothers, and he glanced +for a moment from the sails and the sea to the two men sitting beside +him. There was no thought of turning back there. Their lips were hard +set, yet half smiling; their eyes wide open, as if to take in the +tumultuous joy of the scene; their hands lay clenched on their knees. +They had evidently no thought of danger, no thought of anything but +deep, wild pleasure. + +The old sailor bit his lips. He looked again over the sea, he looked at +the sails, and at the lads crouched down in the bow with consternation +strongly expressed on their faces; he glanced at the dark green water, +rushing past the side, and sometimes as she lay over combing in over the +gunwale; he felt the boat quiver under the shock as each succeeding wave +struck her, and he knew she could bear no more. He therefore again +turned round to the impassive figures beside him, and made his usual +speech. + +"Your honours, it is time to go about." + +But this time so absorbed were they in their sensations, that they did +not hear him, and he had to touch them to attract their notice, and to +shout in their ears, "Your honours, we must go about." + +They started at the touch, and rose like men waked suddenly from a +dream. They cast a glance round, and seemed to take in for the first +time the real state of things, the raging wind, the flying scud, the +waves which rose round the boat, and struck her with a force that +threatened to break her into fragments. And then Edward said, "Yes! by +all means, if indeed it is not already too late. God forgive us for +bringing you out into it; _peccavi, culpa mea_." And then the brothers, +influenced not by fear for themselves, but for the lives of those whom +they had brought into danger, commenced rapidly uttering, in a low +voice, the prayers of their Church for those in peril. + +The prayer was never to be finished. The men sprang with alacrity to the +ropes when the order was given, "Prepare to go about;" but whether their +fingers were numb, or what it was which went wrong, no one will ever +know. The boat obeyed her rudder, and came up into the wind. There was a +momentary lull, and then as her head payed round towards the shore, a +fresh gust struck her with even greater force than ever. Some rope +refused to run, it was but for an instant, but that instant sealed the +fate of the boat; over she lay till her sail all but touched the water, +and the sea poured in over her side. For a moment she seemed to try to +recover herself, and then a wild cry went up to heaven, and the boat lay +bottom upwards in the trough of the waves. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +"L'HOMME PROPOSE, DIEU DISPOSE." + + +Mr. Herbert Harmer was sitting at breakfast reading the _Times_,--a +tall, slight man, of from forty-five to fifty, with a benevolent +expressive face, very sunburnt; a broad forehead, a well-defined mouth, +and a soft, thoughtful eye--careless as to attire, as most Anglo-Indians +are, and yet, in appearance as in manner, an unmistakable gentleman. + +Opposite to him sat his son, good-looking, but not so prepossessing a +man as his father. He was about twenty-two, and looked, contrary to what +might have been expected from his birth and bringing up in a hot +climate, younger than he really was. His complexion was very fair, an +inheritance probably from his mother, as all the Harmers were dark: his +face, too, was much less bronzed than his father's, the year he had +spent in England having nearly effaced the effects of the Indian sun. He +was of about middle height, and well formed; but he had a languid, +listless air, which detracted much from the manliness of his appearance. +His face was a good-looking, almost a handsome one, and yet it gave the +impression of there being something wanting. That something was +character. The mouth and chin were weak and indecisive--not absolutely +bad, only weak,--but it was sufficient to mar the general effect of his +face. + +He was toying with a spoon, balancing it on the edge of an empty coffee +cup, when a sudden exclamation from his father startled him, and the +spoon fell with a crash. + +"What is the matter?" + +Mr. Harmer gave no answer for some time, but continued to read in +silence the paragraph which had so strangely excited him. He presently +laid the paper down on his knees, seemed lost for some time in deep +thought, and then took out his handkerchief and blew his nose violently. + +"My dear father," the young man said, for once fairly roused by all this +emotion and mystery, "what in the name of goodness is the matter? You +quite alarm me. The bank has not broken, has it? or anything terrible +happened?" + +"A very sad affair, Gerald; a very sad affair. Your uncles are both +drowned." + +"By Jove!" + +This being the only appropriate remark that occurred to Gerald Harmer, +there was silence again; and then, seeing that his father was not +disposed to say more, the young man stretched out his hand for the +paper, and read the paragraph which contained the intelligence. + + "APPALLING ACCIDENT ON THE KENTISH COAST.--The neighbourhood + of Canterbury has been thrown into a state of consternation by + an accident which has deprived one of the oldest and most + highly-respected families in the county of its heads. The two + Messrs. Harmer, of Harmer Place, near Canterbury, had rashly + ventured out from Herne Bay, with three boatmen, in a small + yacht belonging to them, just before the awful tempest, which + while we write is still raging, broke upon the coast. The storm + came on so rapidly that it is supposed that they were unable to + return. At present nothing certain is known concerning the + catastrophe; but late in the afternoon, a small black object + was observed by one of the Whitstable coast-guard men, drifting + past at a considerable distance from shore. A telescope being + brought to bear upon it, it was at once seen to be either a + large spar or a boat bottom upwards, with a human figure still + clinging to it. In spite of the fury of the gale, a band of + noble fellows put off in one of the large fishing-boats, and + succeeded in bringing off the only survivor of the five men who + had embarked in the ill-fated craft. He proved to be the sailor + who generally managed Mr. Harmer's little yacht. He is a + one-armed man, and this fact, singularly enough, was the means + of his life being saved; for he had succeeded in fastening the + hook at the end of his wooden arm so firmly in the keel of the + yacht, that, even after his strength had failed, and he could + no longer have clung on, this singular contrivance remained + secure, and kept him in his place, in spite of all the violence + of the waves. He was nearly insensible when first rescued, and + still lies in a precarious state, and has not yet been able to + give any details of the mournful catastrophe. The bodies of the + elder Mr. Harmer, and of one of the boatmen, were washed ashore + this morning, and experienced sailors anticipate that the + remaining bodies will come ashore with this evening's tide. + Several men are on the look-out for them. The Harmers of Harmer + Place are one of the oldest of the Kentish families, and were + strict adherents to the Romish persuasion. It is believed that + no male heir remains, and it is confidently stated that the + large property will go eventually towards the aggrandisement of + the Church to which they belonged." + +"Is that last part true?" Gerald asked. "Do we get the property, or does +it go to the priests?" + +"We shall have none of it, Gerald: of that you may be quite sure. The +priests have taken good care of that point. They would never allow the +property to fall into Protestant hands if they could help it; and my +poor brothers were, as far as I can hear, mere puppets in their hands. +No, there is not the least chance of that. I do not say that it would +not have been useful had it been otherwise; for, as you know, owing to +the troubles and riots I lost a good deal of money the last three years +we were in India; and although I have enough left for us to live upon +comfortably, Harmer Place would have been no bad addition. However, that +was not to be. I have always known that there was not be the slightest +probability of such a thing, so I shall feel no disappointment about the +matter." + +"Do you mean to go down to the funeral?" Gerald asked. + +"Yes. Yes, I shall go, certainly. My poor brothers and I have never been +friends; have not seen each other for thirty years; indeed, even as a +boy I saw next to nothing of them; however, the least I can do is to +follow them to the grave. I shall go down to-morrow." After a pause, Mr. +Harmer added, "I shall get Ransome to go down with me to be present at +the reading of the will. I know it is of no use, as everything is sure +to be done in legal form; still, as I have no desire to lose even the +remotest chance of saving from the priests a property that has been in +the hands of the family for centuries, I will take every possible +precaution. I shall therefore take Ransome down with me. I think you may +as well stay here until I return: it will be a painful and unpleasant +business." + +Gerald had not the least wish to go. "He saw no advantage in putting +himself in the way of being snubbed, perhaps insulted, and only to see a +fine property that ought to come to them handed over to found +monasteries and convents." + +So on the next morning Herbert Harmer, or Mr. Harmer, as he should now +be called, took his seat on the top of the Canterbury coach, with Mr. +Ransome, his solicitor, a shrewd man of business, beside him. + +It was late in the evening when the coach drew up at the "Fountain," at +that time one of the most famous posting-inns in England. + +"You stop here to-night, gentlemen?" the landlord asked. + +"This gentleman will stop here," Mr. Harmer answered. "I want a +conveyance in half an hour's time to take me on to Harmer Place." + +The two gentlemen entered the hotel, and had some dinner, and then when +the vehicle which was to convey him was announced to be in readiness, +Mr. Harmer prepared to start, saying, "I am afraid I shall meet no warm +welcome, Ransome. I think you may as well order a bed-room for me; very +likely I shall return here to-night. If I do not, come over early +to-morrow morning." + +Mr. Harmer leaned gloomily back in the carriage as it passed out through +the town on to the road to Sturry, and mused sadly about old times. How +different, and yet in some respects how similar, was his position now to +what it was when he last trod that road thirty years back. Then, no one +had loved him; his absence would be little missed, and even less +regretted. And now, when he returned to his old home after so long an +absence, he could assuredly expect to be received with no pleasure, with +no warm welcome. His sisters he remembered but faintly; he had not seen +them more than three or four times, and they were then slim, pale girls, +unnaturally constrained in manner, with thin pinched lips and downcast +eyes. It was a short drive: in a quarter of an hour or so they passed +through the lodge-gates, the gravel crunched under the wheels for +another minute or two, and then there was a stop. Mr. Harmer alighted. +The front of the house was dark, not a single light gleamed in any of +the windows, all was hushed and quiet. He pulled at the great bell; it +sounded with a loud empty clang, which seemed to grate unnaturally in +the still night air. + +"Stop here," he said to the driver. "I may return in a quarter of an +hour." + +The door was opened and a faint light streamed out. "Who is it?" a voice +asked. + +"Mr. Herbert Harmer," he said, entering. There was a slight exclamation +of astonishment, and then the door closed behind him. Mr. Harmer looked +round; the old hall, seen by the faint light which the servant carried +in his hand, was even blacker and more gloomy than he remembered it as a +boy. He followed the man, who in silence led the way across it to a +small sitting-room, and who, lighting some candles standing on the +mantlepiece, then withdrew, saying he would inform his mistresses that +Mr. Harmer was here. + +It was some minutes before Herbert Harmer heard any other sound than the +ticking of a clock against the wall, then the door opened and his two +sisters entered, not quite so tall as he had expected to see them, not +perhaps so old, and yet with faces which disappointed him, faces which +no human love had ever brightened, no loving fingers caressingly +stroked, no lover's lips ever kissed. Faces expressing an abnegation of +self, indeed, but without that love and charity for others which should +have taken the place of self. Faces thin and pale, as by long vigil and +fasting; and eyes which seemed at times to reach your very thoughts, and +then to droop to avoid the answering glance which might seek to fathom +theirs. Habitually, perhaps from a long residence in convents abroad, +their heads were slightly bent, and their eyes fixed on the ground, +while their arms lay usually folded one on the other. Both were singular +instances of the manner in which natures, naturally fiery and wilful, +can be completely subdued and kept down by severe discipline and long +training, and of how a warm and perhaps affectionate disposition can be +warped and constrained by the iron trammels of an ascetic and joyless +life. + +When they had entered and the door was closed, they stood side by side +in exactly the same attitude, apparently not looking at their brother, +but waiting for him to speak. As he did not, Cecilia the eldest broke +the silence in a harsh, monotonous voice, speaking like one who has +learnt a lesson, and who only delivers what she has got by rote. + +"So you have come back at last, Herbert Harmer, to the house you have +disgraced, to the home you have forfeited. We expected you; what would +you have?" + +"Nothing," Mr. Harmer answered. "I want nothing; I am come only to +attend the funeral of my dead brothers." + +"And would you, Herbert Harmer--apostate to the faith of your +ancestors--would you dare to follow those who died faithful to their +God? They cast you off in their life, and their dead bodies would bleed +if you approached them." + +"Cecilia," Mr. Harmer said, much shocked, "to what end these useless +recriminations? I have trodden my path; those who are gone have followed +theirs. We shall each answer before our Maker. Why should we make +earthly quarrels about heavenly matters? Rather let us be friends, let +us forget the long unfortunate past, let us be as brother and sisters to +each other, and let me try to fill to you the place of those who are +gone." + +For the space of a minute there was no answer, and then the elder sister +again spoke, but in a changed tone, and a voice in which some natural +feeling struggled. + +"It cannot be, Herbert. We have chosen, as you say, opposite paths, and +we must keep them to the end. I do not--we do not--wish to think +unkindly of you; we will try and forget what cause we have for doing so. +Even you must feel sorrow to know that the old walls which have held the +Harmers so long, will, at our death, hold them no longer. For I tell +you, brother, that it will be so. He who has gone has left us a life +interest in part of the property, as trustees only for the good cause, +and at our death it all goes to support the glory and power of the true +Church. I tell you this that you may cherish no false hopes of what is +not to be." + +"I did not, sister. Knowing the Harmers as I know them, I was sure that +neither I nor mine would ever dwell here. Still, I owe it to myself and +my son to be present when that will is read. It is better to know for +certain that the matter is final and irrevocable." + +"The will will be opened and read after the funeral, which will take +place at half-past eleven to-morrow. You are perfectly welcome to be +present: indeed, it is better so." + +"I have my legal adviser with me; I should wish him to accompany me." + +"Certainly; he will see that everything has been done in perfectly legal +form. Is there anything else you would say?" + +"Nothing," Mr. Harmer said; and preparing to take leave, he approached +the door, near which they were standing. He stopped before them, and +then, with a sudden impulse, held out a hand to each. + +"Oh, sisters, why should this be? Why, after so many years, should we +meet and part thus? Can we not be friends? Can we not yet love each +other? Can we not be happy together, and worship God in our own ways?" + +Touched by the voice and manner, and by the warm, loving tone--such as +for years had not fallen upon their ears--perhaps at that moment, for +nearly the first time in their lives, they obtained a glimpse of what +life might have been to them, but was not and now never could be; the +floodgates of the hearts of those two cold, self-restrained women were +all at once broken down, as never before they had been, and, with a +passion of tears, they threw themselves simultaneously on their +brother's neck. + +It was not for long. Training and habit soon reasserted their power, and +they stood before him again, calm, but still tearful and shaken. + +"We have been wrong, brother; but no, not so. It has been good for us to +have met you. I believe you to be a good man. I believe now that you are +sincere, although grievously mistaken. If, as will probably be the case, +after to-morrow we should not see you again--for our present intention +is at once to retire from the world--we shall always think of you with +kindness, as of the only being in it in whom we have an interest; we +shall remember you with prayers to God, that you may yet see your errors +and be saved; and now, good-bye." + +"I shall see you to-morrow?" Mr. Harmer asked. + +"Yes, after the funeral." And they were gone. + +Mr. Harmer again took his place in the carriage, and returned sad and +thoughtful to Canterbury. + +At a quarter after eleven the next day, Mr. Harmer and his solicitor +alighted from a carriage at the lodge gates, and, sending the vehicle +back to the town, entered the grounds. + +"I think you were wrong to come so early, Ransome. The service will last +at least two hours. You had much better have taken my advice, and come +on by yourself later." + +"I shall do very well, Mr. Harmer. I can walk about the grounds. I see +there are a good many people about, and I am sure to find some one to +talk to till it is time for me to come in." + +There were several other persons walking the same way as themselves +towards the house; but they presently met a man coming in the opposite +direction,--an old man, in a rough sailor's suit, with only one arm. +When he came up to them he stopped, looked Mr. Harmer full in the face, +and then took off his hat, saying, "God bless your honour! it's many a +long year since I saw you. Do you not remember Robert Althorpe?" + +"Bless me!" Mr. Harmer exclaimed, shaking the old sailor warmly by the +hand. "I am indeed glad to see you, old friend. This, Mr. Ransome, is a +very old friend of mine; I may say the first I ever had. So you are +still here?" + +"Aye, aye, your honour; but I live at Herne now. I came over here late +last night, and heard you had been up at the house in the evening; so I +thought you would be coming to the funeral this morning, and made bold +to wait here in hopes of seeing you." + +"You did quite right, and I am very glad that I met you. But there, the +time is getting on, and I must not wait. Come down to the 'Fountain' +this afternoon, and ask for me; we must have a long talk over old times, +and I will see what can be done to make you comfortable for the future. +This is a dreadful business," he added, as he turned to go up to the +house. + +"Aye, your honour, it is. God knows, I would have saved them if I +could." + +"You!" Mr. Harmer said, stopping suddenly. "What, were you with them? I +remember now that the account said it was a one-armed sailor, but of +course I never thought for a moment of its being you." + +"Aye, your honour, it were me sure enough; but don't let me keep you +now. I will tell you the whole yarn this afternoon." + +Mr. Harmer walked away leaving the old sailor with the solicitor, who +had, from the instant when the man said he had been present at the +accident, regarded him with the most lively interest. + +"So you were there, my man," he said. "Well, the day is very cold, I +have some time to wait, and I daresay you have nothing particular to do, +so walk down with me to the village; we shall be able, I have no doubt, +to get a snug room with a good fire, and you shall tell me the whole +story over a glass of grog." + +When Mr. Harmer entered the house, he found the hall, and indeed the +whole dwelling, thronged with the priests and assistants of the Romish +Church, in the full robes of their office. All seemed engaged, and no +one paid much attention to him. In a few minutes a procession was +formed; in the rear of this he took his place, and it then moved with +low chanting through the long passages of the house to the chapel which +adjoined, and indeed formed part of it. Herbert Harmer followed +mechanically, mechanically he took the place assigned to him there, and +listened to the solemn service. As in a dream he saw the chapel hung +with black, and the catafalque containing the coffins of his dead +brothers, and the two black figures kneeling beside them; as if it were +some strange thing in which he had no part or share. His thoughts went +far back, through long years, to the time when he had last heard those +solemn chants and smelt the faint odour of the incense, the tears welled +up in his eyes, and his thoughts were still of the days of his +childhood, when a stir around him roused him, and he saw that the +service was over. In a few minutes the chapel was emptied, and all +returned into the dwelling. Here a servant informed him that a gentleman +was awaiting him in the library. Opening the door, he beckoned to Mr. +Ransome to follow him, and together they went into the drawing-room. +Here he found his sisters, and several of the higher clergy who had +assisted at the ceremonial, assembled. + +On his entrance his sisters rose to meet him, and greeted him with +formal ceremony; but Mr. Harmer thought that, under their impassive +exterior, he could perceive that they were much moved; and that, +although thoroughly agreeing as they did in the propriety and justice of +the deed, they were yet sorry at heart for the coming sentence which was +to cut off their only surviving brother from all share in the old family +property. Miss Harmer then shortly introduced her brother to those +present, who received him courteously, being far too well bred men of +the world to betray the least exultation over a conquered enemy who +could no longer be dangerous, and towards whom, therefore, a generous +magnanimity might be safely displayed. + +A few general remarks suitable to the occasion were exchanged, and then +at a sign from Miss Harmer, all took seats round the room, and a quiet +business-looking man, evidently a solicitor, approached the table with a +legal document in his hand. It was the will of the late Edward Harmer, +which he opened and proceeded to read. Divested of all legal +technicalities, the contents were briefly as follows:-- + +After leaving his sisters a life interest in a considerable sum, he +bequeathed the whole remainder to his brother Robert. In the event, +however, of Robert not surviving him, he ordered that the estate should +be sold, and that the proceeds, together with all other property +whatsoever of which he should be possessed--and the amount was large, as +the Harmers had not for years lived up to their income--should be paid +into the hands of two well-known dignitaries of the Roman Catholic +Church, to be expended by them in accordance with an enclosed document. + +When the lawyer had finished, he folded up the will, and, addressing Mr. +Harman, said,-- + +"Have you any question you would like to ask? If so I shall be happy to +answer you. This will was drawn up by me some years since at the request +of the testator, who was in good health, mentally and bodily. I was +myself one of the witnesses of his signature; the other witness can be +produced." + +"I have no question to ask," Mr. Harmer said, gravely; "the contents of +the will are precisely such as I had anticipated they would be." + +There was a pause, and the lawyer remarked,-- + +"In that case I do not know that there is anything further to be said at +present." + +Mr. Harmer turned towards his sister with the intention of saying +farewell, when he was surprised by Mr. Ransome stepping forward and +saying-- + +"I have a remark or two to make on behalf of Mr. Harmer in reference to +the document which has just been read." + +There was a little movement of surprise, Mr. Harmer being more +astonished than any one present, and all listened with anxiety for what +was to follow. + +"I admit on behalf of Mr. Harmer that the document which has just been +read is the last testament of the late Mr. Edward Harmer; of that no +question can I suppose arise. By the terms of that will he bequeathes +the whole of his property to his brother Robert, subject to the payment +of the legacies to the Misses Harmer. In the event of Robert not +surviving him, he makes other dispositions of his property. These it is +not necessary to enter into, as that contingency has not arisen. For, +gentlemen, I am in a position to prove to you that Mr. Robert Harmer did +survive his brother; he, therefore, under the will, came into possession +of the property, and as Mr. Robert Harmer has unfortunately died +intestate, at least so I presume, Mr. Herbert Harmer, as heir-at-law, of +course inherits the estate." + +As Mr. Ransome spoke he moved to the door, opened it and called to some +one who was waiting in the hall, and Robert Althorpe entered with his +hat in his hand. No one moved, no one spoke, a stupor of blank dismay +had fallen upon all present. Their faces, which when the will was read, +were bright with irrepressible exultation, now expressed the deepest +consternation. They could hardly believe that the prize which they had +made so sure of was about to be snatched from their grasp. + +"This," Mr. Ransome said, "is Robert Althorpe, the sailor who had charge +of the little yacht belonging to the late Mr. Harmer, and who was the +sole survivor of those who embarked in her. Miss Harmer knows that this +is correct. Be so good, my man, will you, as to tell these ladies and +gentlemen what you told me relative to the death of the Mr. Harmers. + +"Well ladies, and your honours," the sailor said, "when I felt the boat +go over I stuck to her, and never left go. I soon got my head above +water, and clambered on to her bottom. I had hardly got my breath, +before I saw a head come out of the water close by me. I held on to the +keel with my hook, leaned over, and caught him by the hair, and helped +him on to the boat beside me. That was Mr. Robert Harmer. I looked round +again, and thought I saw an arm come up for a moment, but that was all I +saw of any of them, and I don't think one of them ever came up after she +upset. Mr. Robert Harmer was very weak, but he clung with me for nigh +ten minutes, sometimes washed nearly off, and getting weaker and weaker +every minute, and I saw he could not last long. We did not speak, the +waves and the wind were too high, and we were half the time under water; +but I could see the poor gentleman was praying very hard. At last a big +wave came over all, and nearly carried me off, and I had a hard fight to +get back again. When I had time to look round, Mr. Robert Harmer was +gone, and that was the last I ever saw of him. Which I am ready to take +my davy." + +When the sailor had done there was another long silence, and then Mr. +Ransome said,-- + +"This, gentlemen, is perfectly conclusive proof that Mr. Robert Harmer +survived his brother, and would be held so in any court of law. It is, I +have no question, a surprise to you, as it is to my client, Mr. Harmer; +indeed, it is only within the last hour that I have been put in +possession of the fact; I am sure, therefore, that Mr. Harmer will not +wish to force upon you any sudden decision; but I would submit to you +that no question can arise either in the point of law or fact. I would +suggest to him that he should retire for an hour and then return for +your answer. In the meantime, merely as a matter of form, I have placed +a person in the hall to keep possession of the place in the name of Mr. +Herbert Harmer, as heir-at-law to his brother the late Mr. Robert +Harmer. The sailor will remain here, and you can interrogate him further +on the subject." + +So saying, and bowing to those present, who had not yet recovered +sufficiently from their dismay to utter a word, he took the almost +stupefied Mr. Harmer by the arm and left the room. + +After they had gone there was a long and animated debate; but the +conclusion at which they most reluctantly arrived, under the advice of +the lawyer who had drawn up the will, was, that there was at present +nothing to do, but to leave Mr. Herbert Harmer in possession, and then, +if upon deliberation and further advice it should be thought right to +bring the case to trial, to do so. And so they all went away, and Mr. +Harmer took possession of the home of his father; but not immediately, +for his sisters asked him to leave them a week to make their +arrangements. He begged them to stay there as long as they wished, and +indeed pressed them to make it their home. This, however, they refused +to do. By the will of their brother they were amply provided for, and +they intended to travel, and perhaps finally to enter a religious house +on the Continent. + +So in a week the old house was empty, and Herbert Harmer entered it as +undisputed master. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE LAST OF THE HARMERS. + + +And so in spite of all human precautions and care, the property of the +old Roman Catholic family was not disposed of for the benefit and glory +of Mother Church; but passed into the hands of the Protestant and +apostate younger brother, under whose ownership and care it changed not +a little. + +Not externally; there no great alteration was possible, unless the whole +place had been pulled down and rebuilt, but the thick trees which had +crowded it in, and made it dark and gloomy, were thinned out, so that +the air and light could come in upon it; bright flower-beds took the +place of the masses of shrubbery on the lawn in front, and as far as +could be done, the whole place was cleared and brightened. Inside, much +greater changes were made--there, indeed, the old house was completely +remodelled, new paper, new paint, new furniture and fittings of every +description. Modern windows were put in where practicable, that is, +wherever they could be inserted without violent incongruity with the +style of architecture; part of the house indeed--that part containing +the principal apartments--was entirely modernized, party walls were +pulled away, small rooms thrown into large ones, the ceilings and roofs +raised, bow windows thrown out, and a bright, cheerful air given to it. + +In the chapel adjoining the house great alterations were made. Coloured +glass windows took the place of the plain ones formerly there; these had +been inserted after a visit of inspection paid by a party of Puritan +cavalry, who, not having succeeded in finding the man of Belial of whom +they were in search, consoled themselves under their disappointment by +the holy amusement of smashing the beautiful stained-glass windows, and +destroying the decoration and carvings of the little chapel. The seats +were now removed, and the shrines, hangings, pictures, and other emblems +of the Romish Church were taken down. The grand stone altar was +retained, and a large cross in black marble was placed over it, taking +the place of the wooden crucifix which had so long hung there. At the +foot of the steps leading up to the altar, and where they had so often +knelt in prayer, a beautiful monument of white marble was erected to the +dead brothers, on which the sun threw strange, solemn lights as it +streamed in through the coloured windows. + +All these changes and alterations were carried on under the personal +care and inspection of Mr. Harmer, who, with his son, came down at once +to Canterbury, taking up their residence for the first two months at the +"Fountain," but spending most of their time over at the "Place." And +although when masons and decorators once take possession of a house they +generally contrive to make their stay nearly interminable, yet, money, +energy, and personal supervision will occasionally work wonders, and in +this case, in three months after taking possession--that is, by the end +of June--Mr. Harmer had the satisfaction of seeing the work completed, +and the little army of men engaged upon it fairly out of the house. + +As soon as they had gone into residence, the neighbouring gentry called +almost in a body. To them it possessed the charm of a new discovery; +they knew the place existed, but all they had seen of it was the lodge +gate, and the twisted chimneys of the house as they rose among the trees +which shut it in from the view; that was all. They hardly knew what it +was like, even from tradition; neither their fathers or grandfathers had +ever called there; not that the religion of its owner had constituted +any serious objection to their so doing, but the Harmers led too +secluded and recluse a life to care about knowing any one. With only a +very few among the county families of their own creed had they any +visiting acquaintance whatever, and this was confined to an exchange of +formal calls, or of stately dinners once or so in the course of a year. +Their only intimate acquaintances were chosen among foreigners, +ecclesiastics or others, generally Italian, whom they had known during +their long absences on the Continent; of these there had been usually +one or two staying in the house when the family were at home; beyond +this they had no friends. But now all this was to change, and the +carriages of the neighbouring gentry dashed in quick succession up the +drive where once the green moss had grown undisturbed, and gay talk and +merry laughter were heard where formerly silence had reigned almost +unbroken. + +The visits afforded great satisfaction to those who paid them. The +father and son were both much liked, and pronounced great acquisitions +to the county society. + +These visits were shortly returned, and invitations to dinner speedily +followed. But not to dinner-parties alone was the festivity confined; +picnics were got up, balls given, and it was unanimously agreed for once +to overlook the fact that there was no lady head to Harmer Place, but +that mothers and daughters should accept Mr. Harmer's lavish hospitality +regardless of that fact. Indeed, the Harmers' accession to the property +gave rise to a series of feasting and festivity such as had not been +known in that part of the county for years previously. + +Into all this Mr. Harmer entered with a fresh pleasure, and a frank +joyous spirit which charmed and attracted all. With the ladies he was an +especial favourite; to them his manners and address were so singularly +different to those of the men with whom they were accustomed to +associate, that they could not fail to be greatly impressed by it. +Herbert Harmer had seen little or nothing of women, for--with the +exception only of his wife, who had always been a great invalid, and +whom he had nursed for years with almost devotional care and +kindness--he had been thrown in contact with very few English women, and +he regarded the whole sex with an almost chivalrous devotion and respect +which in a man of his age was very strange and touching. Although a very +well-read man--for in his distant home he had kept himself well supplied +with the current English literature, and with scientific works of every +description--he knew very little of real life. Of commanding intellect, +had he been placed in different circumstances where his mind could have +had fair scope for its exercise, Herbert Harmer would have made a +conspicuous figure for himself; as it was, although all found in him a +charming companion and a sympathizer in their various tastes, few would +have suspected how great were the stores of knowledge which the +simple-hearted childlike man had stored up in all those years of +solitary reading. + +It was this general sympathy for the tastes of others, together with the +reverence for the sex, which led him to treat the young girl of +seventeen with a deference not inferior to that which he would have +exhibited for her white-haired grandmother, which made him so +universally liked by women; and had Herbert Harmer, although a man of +forty-seven, and looking older than he was, wished to marry again, he +might have nearly taken his choice among the fair young Kentish maidens +who surrounded him. + +Women, especially young women, appreciate a character such as this far +better than men can do. Their purity of heart recognizes instinctively +its goodness and childlike wisdom; and very many would own to themselves +that, without entertaining any passionate love for him, they could yet +entrust their happiness to such a one with a confidence far more serene +and implicit than that which they would experience in the case of a +younger man. + +Perhaps a thought as to the possibility of Mr. Harmer marrying again may +have entered into the calculations of some of the matrons with grown-up +families, and who would not have unwillingly have seen one of their +daughters holding sway as mistress at Harmer Place. But if so, it was +not for long; for Mr. Harmer, upon one occasion--when the possibility of +such an event as a new mistress for his house being forthcoming when the +alterations were completed, was laughingly suggested--resented the idea +in quite a serious manner. From this it was quite evident that the +future mistress of Harmer Place, whomsoever she might be, would enter it +as the wife of Gerald rather than of Herbert Harmer. + +Gerald was by no means so great a favourite as his father; nor, although +he earnestly desired to be popular, could he altogether succeed in his +object. He could not overcome the listless manner which his long +residence in India had rendered part of his nature; he could not acquire +an interest in all the chit-chat and gossip of country society, or +manifest more than a most languid interest in the agricultural +conversations and disquisitions which formed the large staple of the +country gentleman's talk. Of the price of corn he knew nothing. Malt and +hops were mysteries, into which, beyond drinking the resulting compound, +he had no desire to penetrate. And yet he was a sensible, good-hearted +young fellow enough. His misfortune was that he had not strength of mind +to adapt himself to the life and people he was thrown among. + +Mr. Harmer was extremely anxious that his son should marry early and +well; not well in a worldly point of view, but to some true woman, to +whom he could look up, and who would in time correct the faults of his +character. Those faults his father saw and understood; and he feared +much that his weak and facile disposition would render him liable to +fall into serious errors and faults, and would be not unlikely to lead +him to be entrapped into some hasty marriage, the evil consequences of +which might be incalculable to him. Mr. Harmer therefore watched with +anxiety to see to which, among the various young girls of the +neighbourhood, Gerald was most attracted, and at first he gave his +father some little trouble. New to female society, it possessed an +infinite charm to him; but he seemed to admire too generally to devote +himself to any one in particular, and although he at once commenced a +series of active flirtations, he appeared quite unable to single out any +one for especial preference. _Les absents ont toujours tort_; and the +converse of the proverb seemed to him to be equally true--the present +are always right. Whosoever might chance to be in his society would +assuredly, for the time being, appear to approach the nearest to +perfection. Gerald Harmer was certainly a much greater favourite with +the girls than he was with their fathers and brothers. That languid, +indolent way of his, as if he rather thought that it was the duty of +other people to devote themselves to his amusement, and which made the +men vote him a puppy, was to them quite new and very amusing. Girls, +too, rather like occasionally reversing positions, and bestowing homage +instead of receiving it; and so the lively country girls enjoyed these +languid flirtations with Gerald, and entered into them with great +spirit, laughing in their sleeves, perhaps, at him while they did so, +and not being in the least likely to become the victims of any very +ardent passion. + +When the shooting season commenced, however, a great change came over +him, for he threw himself into the sport with an ardour that astonished +his father. At last he really seemed to have found something worth +caring for, and in a short time, by his devotion for field sports, he +rose many degrees in the estimation of the young squires, who agreed +that Gerald Harmer had turned out a capital fellow after all, in spite +of his airs and nonsense. It is probable that he sank in the sisters' +estimation as he rose in the brothers', for he now no longer cared for +female society, and spent the whole of his time either in shooting over +his own or other estates, with parties of their young owners, or +sometimes alone, with no other companion than Long William, the +keeper--or else in hunting, to which also he took with great ardour. His +sporting tastes rapidly developed; dogs, horses, and guns occupied his +whole thoughts; and few would have recognized in the figure in +shooting-jacket and gaiters, returning splashed to the head, after a +hard day's work, the indolent lounger who had considered it almost too +great a trouble to think for himself. His father observed this change +with pleasure, as he had noticed with pain his son's increasing +listlessness, although he was personally a loser by it; for Gerald had +been hitherto his constant companion in his walks over his estate, and +his visits of kindness at his labourers' cottages, which, under his +care, assumed a very different and far more comfortable aspect than that +which they had worn under the old _régime_. Still, he felt that it might +do him much good; he thought it natural that the young man should be +fond of sport, and should seek the companionship of men of his own age; +and though he missed the former familiar intercourse with his son, he +assented with a little sigh of regret to the new state of things, and +told himself that it was much better so, and was very right and proper. +Even of an evening it was seldom now that Gerald accompanied his father +to the houses of the neighbouring gentry, always pleading fatigue, or +some other excuse, for not doing so. On these occasions, when his father +had started alone, he would be sure to find some pretext, some forgotten +order, or question which must be asked, as a reason for strolling down +in the course of the evening to smoke a pipe with his inseparable ally, +Long William, the keeper. + +Of this his father of course knew nothing; but the people of the village +soon noticed these visits, and shook their heads when they saw the young +squire go in at the cottage door, for William's character stood by no +means high, and such companionship could do no good. Sometimes, too, +Long William would not have returned from his duties when Gerald +sauntered down, and then the task of entertaining him till his return +would fall on William's pretty sister, Madge, who kept house for her +brother. Altogether it would have been far better for Gerald to have +accompanied his father, than to spend the evening sitting there smoking, +and occasionally drinking; not truly that he was fond of drink for its +own sake, but as he felt obliged to send Long William out for a bottle +of spirits, he felt equally bound to keep him in countenance while he +drank it. + +So things went on into the spring, and then the shooting and hunting +being over, Gerald, to his father's great annoyance, subsided into his +former listless state; indeed, into a much worse condition than he was +in before. He no longer was Mr. Harmer's companion in his rambles over +the estate; he took no interest in his plans for the improvement of the +houses of their poorer neighbours; he had no pleasure in society, which +before he had so enjoyed; indeed, so entirely without aim or object did +his life seem to have become, that Mr. Harmer felt that some change was +absolutely necessary for him, and proposed to him that he should go for +a few months' ramble on the Continent. + +This proposition Gerald embraced with eagerness, and in a few days +started on his tour. + +Mr. Harmer had at first thought of accompanying him, but finally decided +against doing so, as he judged it better that Gerald should have to +think and act entirely for himself; for being forced to do this, and to +make new acquaintances and friends--which in travelling he could only do +by exerting himself to be agreeable--he would be far more likely to +shake off his listless apathy, than if he had some one ever with him, to +arrange matters, and take all necessity of thought or exertion off his +hands. + +And so Gerald went alone, and, as far as could be gleaned from his +letters, he certainly seemed improving. At first he wrote without much +interest in what he saw, but gradually the tone of his letters became +more healthy, and when he reached Switzerland, he wrote in quite +enthusiastic terms. He had joined a party who intended to stay there two +or three months, and thoroughly wander over the various lakes and +valleys of that lovely country. He enjoyed the life immensely, was +becoming a first-rate mountaineer, and altogether he appeared to have +entirely recovered his life and spirits. + +Mr. Harmer remained quietly at home, passing his time between his books, +the management of his estates, and the pleasures of social intercourse +with his neighbours; and few days passed without his riding out into the +country, or into Canterbury, for a visit to some among them. + +Everywhere he continued to gain golden opinions, and became so popular +that he was requested to allow himself to be put in nomination as member +for that division of the county at the next election. This offer, +although very gratifying, Mr. Harmer declined. He was very happy and +contented with his present mode of life, and had not the least wish to +take upon himself the care and responsibility of a seat in Parliament. + +In autumn, soon after the shooting began, Gerald returned, looking +sunburnt and healthy; full of life and of his adventures and travels, +and, seemingly, permanently cured of his listless, indolent ways. His +father was much pleased with the change, and was now quite satisfied +with him; and yet at times he fancied--but it might be only fancy--that +in the pauses of conversation he would fall into short reveries of +something unpleasant; a quick, gloomy, anxious look seemed to pass +across his face, and although it would be instantly dispelled, still Mr. +Harmer could not help thinking that he had something on his mind. But if +it was so, he said no word to his father; and Herbert Harmer, even had +he been sure that such a secret had existed, which he was far from +being, was of too delicate a disposition to make the least advance +towards a confidence which his son did not seek to repose in him. + +At last the hunting season began again, to which Gerald had been looking +forward eagerly, as he preferred it even to shooting, perhaps because it +was a much greater change, as the meets were seldom held near +Canterbury, and he would have to send his hunter on the night before, +and drive over perhaps fifteen or twenty miles in the morning. However, +it happened that one of the first meets of the season was appointed to +take place near Canterbury, about three miles out on the old Dover Road, +and Gerald started off, after an early breakfast, in unusually high +spirits. + +Mr. Harmer, late in the afternoon, was in his library, which was in the +front of the house, and the windows of which commanded a view down the +drive. + +He had been reading, but the fast-closing shades of a wintry +afternoon--it was the 12th of November, had rendered that difficult, and +he had laid down his book and walked to the window, to look out at the +still trees and the quiet hush of the thickening twilight. + +Suddenly there came on his ear a low confused sound, as of many people +moving and speaking; and then a horse's footsteps came fast up the +drive. + +He strained his eyes for the first sight of the rider, as he came round +the turn of the drive into sight. + +It was not Gerald--it was one of his most intimate friends. + +What could it be? He threw open the window and listened again; between +the strokes of the horses' feet in the still evening air, he could hear +the confused sound of voices and the trampling of feet coming nearer. +What could it be? A nameless terror blanched his cheek, a dim vision of +the truth flashed across him. In an instant he was at the hall-door, +which he opened and went out on to the steps. The horseman had alighted, +and now stood looking pale and anxious at the door. When it opened, and +he saw Mr. Harmer himself, he shrank back as a man might, who, knowing +that he had something very painful to go through, is suddenly confronted +with it before he had quite nerved himself to undergo it. Recovering +himself, however, although his usually hearty, jovial face was blanched +white, he prepared to speak. Herbert Harmer waved him back, he could +tell him nothing that could be new to him now. He had seen his face, and +hope had died with the look, and the father stood listening with +suspended breath to the irregular trampling now rapidly approaching up +the avenue. + +"Is he dead?" he asked with his eyes, for no sound came from the lips. +"Not dead--but----" The eyes closed for a moment in answer that they +understood--not dead, but dying; and then he stood rigid and immovable, +his eyes open but seeing nothing, his whole senses merged in the effort +of hearing. + +The gentleman who had brought the news, seeing that at present he could +do nothing there, quietly entered the house and ordered the affrighted +servants instantly to get a bed-room ready, with hot water, sponges, and +everything that could be required. + +Mr. Harmer moved not till he saw appear round the turn of the drive the +head of a sad procession: carried on the shoulders of six men, on a door +hastily taken from a cottage for the purpose, was something in red +covered with a cloak; riding by the side were several horsemen in +scarlet, most of whom, on seeing Mr. Harmer standing on the steps, +reined back their horses and returned into the village, there to wait +for news. Not that they expected any news, save one; for the man in +green riding by the head of the little procession was the doctor. He was +on the field at the time of the accident, he had already examined the +injured man, had shaken his head sadly over him, and the word had gone +round--no hope. + +His horse, a young hunter which he had only purchased a few days before, +had struck the top bar in leaping a gate, and had come down headlong on +its rider, fearfully crushing and mangling him. They carried him up to +his room and laid him on the bed; his father walking beside speechless +and tearless. The only question he asked was, "Will he ever recover his +consciousness?" + +The doctor replied, "He may at the last." + +The last did not come till next morning, when, just as the grey light +was breaking, he opened his eyes. For some time they wandered confusedly +about the room, as if endeavouring to comprehend what had happened; then +he tried to move, and a slight groan of pain broke from him, and by the +change in his expression it was evident he remembered all. His eyes met +those of his father, and fixed there with a look of deep affection, then +a sudden recollection of pain seemed to occur to him, and he closed his +eyes again and lay for sometime quite still. + +The doctor who had his finger on his wrist motioned to the father that +the end was fast approaching. Again the eyes opened and he was evidently +rallying his strength to speak. The doctor withdrew a few paces, and the +father placed his ear to the dying man's mouth. The lips moved, but all +that the hearer could catch was--"Dear father--kind to Madge--my +sake--God forgive;" then the lips ceased moving, and the spirit was gone +for ever. + +Ten days had passed since then, Gerald Harmer had been laid in the quiet +graveyard of the village church, and his father was sitting thoughtful +and alone in his library. A knock at the door, and Mr. Brandon, the +rector of the place, was announced, and by Mr. Harmer's manner as he +rose to meet him, it was evident that he was an expected visitor. + +"I am much obliged to you for calling so speedily," he said, after they +had seated themselves. "I have a question which weighs much upon my +mind, and which is to me an inexpressibly painful one. Yet it is one +which I must ask, and you are the only person of whom I can ask it. I +may be mistaken altogether. I may be agitating myself under some +wretched misconception; God grant it may be so; and yet I must arrive at +the truth. Do you know any young person in the village by the name of +Madge? how old is she, who are her parents, and what character does she +bear?" + +The clergyman's face became very serious as Mr. Harmer addressed him, +and the latter saw at once by his unmistakable start of surprise, and by +the look of distress which came across his face, that he not only knew +such a person, but that he was very well aware why the question was +asked. + +Mr. Harmer laid his face in his hands and groaned; this was almost +harder to bear than his son's death. It was some time before he looked +up again. When he did so, the clergyman said in a tone of deep feeling +and commiseration-- + +"It is a truly sad affair, my dear sir; indeed, I question if you yet +know how sad. The name of the young girl of whom you ask was Madge +Needham; she lived with her brother, one of your keepers. I hardly know +how to tell you what has occurred. She had been for some time in +delicate health, and was standing at the door of her cottage when she +saw a little crowd coming down the village street. She carelessly asked +a lad who was running past what it was, and was told that they were +carrying home your unfortunate son who had been killed out hunting. The +boy ran on; she said nothing, but closed the door of the cottage. The +shock had struck home. That night a little child was born into the +world, who before morning had lost both father and mother." + +Mr. Brandon ceased, his voice faltered as he spoke, and the tears fell +from his eyes. Mr. Harmer hid his face in his hands, and sobbed +unrestrainedly; he was inexpressibly shocked and grieved. At last he +said-- + +"Is the child alive?" + +"Yes; a young married woman in the village who had just lost a baby of +her own has taken it for the present. She consulted me about it only +this morning, and I told her that in a short time when I could approach +the subject with you, I would do so, although I did not expect that the +opportunity would have occurred so soon. Still, I thought it right, +painful as it must be to you, that you should know the truth. I believe +from what I have heard that there can be no question as to the paternity +of the infant, as I heard, late in the spring, rumours of your son being +frequently down at the cottage. But it did not reach my ears until after +he had gone abroad, consequently I could do nothing in the matter but +hope for the best, and trust that rumour was mistaken." + +After another short silence, Mr. Harmer said-- + +"Mr. Brandon, I am very much indebted to you for what you have already +done in the matter; will you further oblige me by acting for me in it? +If the woman who has now charge of the child is a respectable and proper +person, and is willing to continue the care of it, so much the better. +If not, will you seek some one who will do so? Make any arrangements in +the way of money you may think fit. By the way, the east lodge, which is +the one farthest from the village, is at present unoccupied; let them +move in there. I will give orders that it shall be made comfortable. +Will you see to this for me? So much for the present; we can make other +arrangements afterwards." + +And so it was carried out. Mrs. Green, the woman who had first taken +care of the child, with her husband, a steady working carpenter, moved +into the east lodge. They had no other children, and soon took to the +little orphan, and loved her as their own. To them, indeed, the adoption +of the child proved of great benefit. The lodge was made comfortable; a +piece of ground was added to it, and put in order for a garden; a +handsome yearly sum was paid; and the husband had steady work upon the +estate. + +Long William, the keeper, had a sufficient sum of money given him, to +enable him to emigrate to Australia. + +Upon the death of his son, Mr. Harmer went abroad for three or four +years, and then returned again to the old place. The shock which he had +undergone had aged him much, and at fifty-one he looked as old as many +men of sixty. He still kept up the acquaintance of his former friends; +but although fond of quiet social intercourse, he ceased altogether to +enter into general society, and devoted himself entirely to study and +scientific pursuits. + +It was a little before Mr. Harmer's return, that Dr. Ashleigh +established himself at Canterbury, having purchased a practice there. +They met accidentally at a friend's house, and soon became very intimate +with each other. They were mutually attracted by the similarity of their +tastes and pursuits, and by each other's intellectual superiority and +goodness of heart. They were indeed kindred spirits, and their society +became a source of the greatest mutual pleasure and gratification. +Whenever Dr. Ashleigh could find time from his professional pursuits, he +would drive over to pass a few hours of scientific research and +experiment with his friend; and if anything should occur to prevent the +visit being paid for a few days, Mr. Harmer would, in turn, come over +for an evening to the doctor's, at Canterbury. + +In the mean time little Sophy Needham was growing up. She was not a +pretty child, but had an intelligent face, with large thoughtful grey +eyes. + +It was some time after his return from abroad before Mr. Harmer trusted +himself to ride out at the east gate. At last, one day--it was the +anniversary of his son's death--he did so, and stopping there, fastened +up his horse, and went in to see the child, then exactly four years old. + +At first she was inclined to be distant and shy; but when once she had +recovered sufficiently to fix her large grey inquiring eyes upon him, +she went to him readily, and in five minutes they were fast friends; for +indeed he was one of those men whom children instinctively feel to be +good, and take to as if by intuition. + +After this he would frequently go down to see her, and take her little +presents of toys and dolls. Until she was ten years old she went to the +village school, and then he sent her to London to a good school, to be +educated as he said, for a governess. When she came home for the +holidays, he would frequently have her up for a day to the house, and +would interest himself greatly in her talk and growing knowledge. + +It was some little time after his return from abroad that Mr. Harmer +received a letter from his sisters, who had since they left been +travelling and living abroad, saying, that if he were still of the same +mind, and would repeat his invitation, they would be glad to come and +stay with him for a time, as they longed to see the old place where they +had lived so long. Although much surprised, Mr. Harmer willingly +assented, and his two sisters soon afterwards arrived. Their visit, at +first intended only to last for a few weeks, lengthened into months; +then they went away for a time, but soon returned, and took up their +abode there permanently. + +Whatever their motives may have been originally in returning to the +place, they unquestionably became very much attached to their brother, +and were far happier than they had ever before been during their lives: +they pursued their religious exercises, he his scientific pursuits, +without interference from each other, and as the genial intercourse and +kindness of their brother brightened their days, so did their affection +and interest soothe his. Their presence was a relief to the previous +silence and monotony of the house, and their management took all +household cares off his hands. + +On one subject alone had any disagreement arisen, and that was the +presence of Sophy; but here their brother at once so decidedly, and even +sternly, stated that his wishes on that point were to be considered as +law, and that no interference with them would be for a moment tolerated, +that they were obliged at once to acquiesce, although they still, as +much as they dare, kept up by their manner a protest against her +presence. + +Sophy now, during her holidays, stopped entirely at the house, occupying +a position something between that of visitor and humble companion. The +girl accepted her lot with rare tact for one of her age. She felt her +anomalous position, for she had, at Mr. Harmer's wish, been made +acquainted with her history, as he was sure that, sooner or later, she +was certain to be informed of it. She was of a quiet, retiring manner, +self-contained, and thoughtful, and manifested a quiet deference for the +Miss Harmers--with which, however much they might have wished it, they +could have found no fault--and a warm, though subdued, affection for Mr. +Harmer. + +And thus matters stood when this story began. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +TESTAMENTARY INTENTIONS. + + +All this history of the Harmers I have told nearly as I heard it, +passing briefly over such parts as were not essential to the +understanding of the story, and retaining all that was necessary to be +told in order that the relative position of the various inmates of +Harmer Place may be quite understood by any one who may hereafter read +this story of mine. And having done so, I can now proceed with the +regular course of my journal. + +That visit of ours to Harmer Place was a very memorable one, and +exercised not a little influence upon my fortunes, although certainly I +little dreamt at the time of our return that evening, that it had done +so. To Polly and I it had been simply an extremely pleasant day. We had +rambled about the garden with Sophy Needham, and had taken tea in the +summer-house, while papa and Mr. Harmer were at dinner. We had then gone +into desert, and, that over, had again rambled out, leaving the +gentlemen over their wine. It was while thus engaged, that a +conversation took place, which I did not hear of for more than a year +afterwards, but which entirely altered my worldly prospects. It was +began by Mr. Harmer, who had been for some time sitting rather silent +and abstracted. + +"I think it is high time, my dear doctor, for me to speak to you frankly +and openly, of what my intentions are in reference to the disposal of my +property. I mentioned somewhat of this to you four or five years since, +but I should like now to speak explicitly. I am aware that such matters +are not usually gone into; but I think in many cases, of which this is +one, it is right and better that it should be so. I have no relations +whatever in the world, with the exception of my sisters, who have an +ample life provision, and Sophy Needham, my son's child. My property is +very large; I have the Harmer estates, my own savings in India, and the +accumulation of my brothers, who never lived up to their income for very +many years. In all about seven thousand a year. As I have said, Sophy +Needham is my only connection in the world--you my only friend. To Sophy +I have left half my fortune, the other half I have bequeathed to your +children. Do not start, my dear Ashleigh, or offer any fruitless +objection, my decision is fixed and immovable. For the last thirteen +years my existence has been brightened by your friendly intercourse, in +you I have found a scientific guide and friend; indeed, I may say that +my life as far as this world is concerned, has been entirely made what +it is, tranquil, contented, and happy by your friendship. Ten years ago +you will remember I begged you to retire from practice, and to take up +your abode here with your family, upon any terms you might name, but in +fact as my adopted family. This offer you, from motives I could not but +respect, declined. You loved your profession, and considered it +incompatible with your duty to leave a career of active usefulness. +Things, therefore, went on as before. Towards Sophy my intentions were +not fixed, but she has turned out a very good girl, and I shall +therefore leave her half my fortune, about seventy-five thousand pounds. +Had I any other relation, or any person who could have the smallest +claim upon me, you might hesitate; as it is, not even the most morbid +feeling of delicacy can tell you that you are depriving others of their +expectations. Being so, let the matter be tacitly understood, and say +nothing whatever about it; you ought not to have known of it till my +death, just suppose that you do not know of it now. You will ask me why +have I then told you. For this reason. I wish to benefit your children. +My life is uncertain; but I may live for many years yet, and my money +might come too late to do good. Your son may have spent the best years +of his life struggling in some profession which he does not like; your +daughters may have suffered too. I therefore wish at once to place Harry +with the best man in the profession he wishes to enter, which I have +heard him say is that of a civil engineer, and I shall allow him a +hundred and fifty pounds a year for the present. Your daughters I should +wish sent to some good school in London to finish their education; and +when the time shall come, when such an event may be considered probable, +I should wish it to be publicly known that they will each have upon +their wedding day ten thousand pounds. Your son shall have a like sum +when the time comes for him to enter into a partnership, or start in +business for himself. These sums to be deducted from their moiety of my +fortune at my death. And now, doctor, let us shake hands and not mention +the matter again, and as you do not seem to be drinking your wine, let +us go out and join the young ladies in the garden." + +It was not until after several further discussions upon the subject of +Mr. Harmer's kind intentions towards us that papa agreed to accept his +offer. When he at last consented to do so, no time was lost in carrying +out the plans, and in a month or two Harry went up to London to be +articled to a well-known engineer. As for us, it was settled that Miss +Harrison should remain with us until Christmas, and that after the +holidays we should go up to a school near London. How delighted we were +at the prospect, and how very slowly that autumn seemed to pass; +however, at last the time came, and we started under papa's charge for +London. When we were once there, and were fairly in a cab on our way to +school, we felt a little nervous and frightened. However, there was a +great comfort in the thought that there would, at any rate, be one face +we knew, that of Clara Fairthorne, who came from our part of the country +we had met her at some of our Christmas parties, and it was by her +parents the school had been recommended to papa. But although we felt +rather nervous, it was not until we were in sight of the school that our +spirits really fell; and even at the lapse of all these years, I do +think that its aspect was enough to make any girl's heart sink, who was +going to school for the first time. + +Any one who has passed along the road from Hyde Park Corner to Putney +Bridge may have noticed Grendon House, and any one who has done so, must +have exclaimed to himself "a girls' school." Palpably a girls' school, +it could be nothing else. With the high wall surrounding it, to keep all +passers-by from even imagining what was going on within, with the trees +which grew inside it, and almost hid the house from view, with its +square stiff aspect when one did get a glimpse of it, and with its small +windows, each furnished with muslin curtains of an extreme whiteness and +primness of arrangement, and through which no face was ever seen to +glance out,--certainly it could be nothing but a girls' school. + +On the door in the wall were two brass plates, the one inscribed in +stiff Roman characters "Grendon House;" the other "The Misses Pilgrim," +in a running flourishing handwriting. I remember after we had driven up +to the door, and were waiting for the bell to be answered, wondering +whether the Misses Pilgrim wrote at all like that, and if so, what their +character would be likely to be. In the door, by the side of the plate, +was a small grating, or grille, through which a cautious survey could be +made of any applicant for admission within those sacred precincts. + +On passing through the door, and entering the inclosure, one found +oneself in a small, irregular piece of ground, dignified by the name of +the garden, although, from its appearance, it would be supposed that +this was a mere pleasantry; but it was not so. Indeed, no such thing as +a pleasantry ever was or could be attempted about anything connected +with "Grendon House." Certain it is that nothing in the way of a flower +was ever acclimatized there. The gloom and frigidity of the place would +have been far too much for any flower known in temperate climates to +have supported. + +I remember, indeed, Constance Biglow, who had a brother who had just +started on an Arctic expedition, lamented that she had forgotten to ask +him to bring home some of the plants from those regions, as an +appropriate present for the Misses Pilgrim, for their garden. I know at +the time we considered it to be a very good, although a dreadfully +disrespectful, joke towards those ladies. + +In spring, indeed, a few crocuses (Miss Pilgrim spoke of them as croci) +ventured to come up and show their heads, but they soon faded away again +in such an uncongenial atmosphere. The only thing which really +flourished there was the box edging to the borders, which grew +luxuriantly, and added somehow to the funereal aspect of the place. It +was no wonder nothing grew there, for the house, and the high walls, and +the trees within them, completely shaded it, and cut it off from all +light and air. Round the so-called flower-beds the gravel path was +wider, and was dignified by the name of the carriage drive, though how +any coachman was to have turned a carriage in that little confined +space, even had he got through the impassable gate, was, and probably +ever will remain, a mystery. + +Behind the house was the playground, a good-sized triangular-shaped +gravelled yard, for Grendon House was situated at the junction of two +roads, and the house itself stood across the base of the triangle they +formed. This playground was several times larger than the garden, and +was indeed quite extensive enough for such games as we indulged in. It +was, of course, surrounded by the high wall, with its belt of trees, +underneath which was a narrow strip of border, divided into regular +portions; and here the girls were permitted to prove the correctness of +the axiom, that plants will not live without light or air. + +So much for the exterior; inside, if the sensation of gloom and +propriety which pervaded the very atmosphere could have been got rid of, +it would have been really a fine house. + +The hall, which was very large, extended up to the top of the house; +from it, on the ground floor, led off the dining and schoolrooms, large, +well-proportioned rooms, but very cold and bare-looking, especially the +former; for the schoolroom walls were nearly covered with maps of +different countries, some rolled up and out of use, others hanging down +open; beside them hung genealogized trees of the various monarchies of +Europe; while in the corner was a large stand with a black board for +drawing diagrams in chalk. Nothing else in either of them but bare +walls, and equally bare forms and tables. + +There was another little room opening from the great hall: this was the +cloak-room, where the girls put on their bonnets and shawls before going +out for their walks. It was here that, when they were able to slip out +from the schoolroom, they would meet to talk in English for a change, +and interchange those little confidences about nothing in which +school-girls delight. This room looked into the garden; and to prevent +the possibility of any one who might be--which nobody ever +was--wandering there, looking in at the window, white silver paper, with +coloured flowers under it, was stuck on to the glass, something in the +manner of decalcomanie, only that extraordinary and difficult name was +not at that time invented. + +Upstairs was the drawing-room. It was here that the Misses Pilgrim +received visitors to the girls, and here that the lady professors, who +came twice a week to teach music, imparted lessons in singing and on the +pianoforte to the pupils. + +This room was a model of propriety and frigidity--if there be such a +word, for no other will describe the effect produced. The curtains were +of white muslin, so stiff and carefully arranged that they might have +been cut out of marble. The chairs were of some light wood, with gilding +on them, and so extremely fragile, that it was only with the greatest +caution and care that any one could venture to sit down upon them; there +were couches too, here and there, but these as seats were altogether out +of the question, being so covered with Berlin work of every kind, and +antimacassars of such stiffness and intricacy of pattern, that no one +would ever have thought of assuming a sitting position even upon the +extreme edge of them. + +The room was literally crowded with tables of every imaginable shape and +form, generally on twisted legs, and looking as if a breath would upset +them. On these tables were placed works of art and industry of every +description. Vases of wax flowers and fruit, Berlin wool mats of every +colour and pattern, inkstands of various shapes and sizes, books of +engravings, stuffed birds under glass shades; in short, knicknacks of +every sort and kind, and on a great majority of them were inscribed, +"Presented to Miss Pilgrim, or Miss Isabella Pilgrim, by her attached +pupils on her birth-day;" or, "Presented to the Misses Pilgrim by their +attached pupil so-and-so on the occasion of her leaving school." + +Through all this it was next to impossible to move without the greatest +risk of bringing some of the little fragile tables down with a crash, +and visitors would generally, after a vague glance of perplexity round, +drop, or rather lower themselves carefully, into one of the little +minikin chairs, as near as possible to the door. + +So chilling was the effect of this room, so overwhelming its atmosphere +of propriety, that many fathers and brothers who have come up from the +country to see their daughters or sisters after a long absence, men with +big voices and hearty manner, have felt so constrained and overpowered +by it, that in place of taking them into their arms with a loud-sounding +kiss, they have been known to hold out their hand in a most formal +manner and to inquire almost in a whisper as to their state of health. +In this drawing-room the elder girls used to practise, and if any +visitor was shown up there the proper form to be observed was to rise +from the music-stool, walk to the door, and then, making a deep curtsey, +to leave the room--a performance not unfrequently completely astounding +any one strange to the ceremonies inculcated at young ladies' schools as +being suitable to occasions like this. + +It will be judged from all this that "Grendon House" was a model +academy, and indeed it was. The only wonder is that it did not turn us +all into the stiffest pieces of prim propriety possible; but somehow it +did not; for I think, on looking back, that a merrier and more lively +set of girls it would be difficult to have found, and yet we most +certainly had not much to be merry about. "All work and no play makes +Jack a dull boy." It may be so, but it decidedly did not have that +effect upon Jack's sisters. We certainly did work very hard. I suppose +it was necessary in order to cram all the accomplishments girls are +expected to know into our heads; but however it was, I am quite sure +that in those two years I was at school, I worked more hours and +steadier at them, than Harry ever did in four; he allows it himself, and +I am sure it is generally the case, that girls work infinitely harder +than their brothers, and certainly have no amusement or recreation at +all in proportion. I suppose it is all right, but yet I do think that if +we worked a good deal less, and played a great deal more, we should know +quite as much, and be far more healthy and natural than we are. + +However, I am not writing an essay, or I should have a great deal more +to say on this point; as it is I must leave it for abler hands, and go +back to my story. + +When we first caught sight of Grendon House our spirits fell many +degrees, and when we entered its solemn portals we felt terribly awed +and uncomfortable. We were, of course, shown up into that dreadful +drawing-room, and I think papa was as much affected by it as we were; he +certainly was not a bit like himself, and he stayed a very short time +talking to Miss Pilgrim, who came up in great state, and in a very stiff +silk dress, which rustled alarmingly as she walked, to receive us. Miss +Pilgrim was small but stately, almost overpoweringly so. Her hair was +arranged in little stiff ringlets on each temple; her nose was very +prominent; her lips thin and rather pinched; her eyes bright and +searching; she was, on the whole, in good keeping with the room, and yet +I thought that, although she looked so sharp, and spoke so shortly and +decidedly, that she was kind at heart, and that I should like her. And I +may say I did; she was, although strict and sharp with us girls--as +indeed she had need to be--kind-hearted and thoughtful, and I parted +with her when I left school with regret. Her sister Isabella was so +exactly the counterpart of herself that one description will do for the +two; and, except that she wore her hair in flat braids instead of in +ringlets, and that she was not quite so sharp and decided, although +equally kind, she might have been easily mistaken for her elder sister. + +When papa got up to go away, I could not help crying a little; for, +though I was fifteen, I had never been away from home before. However, I +soon came round after he was once fairly gone. Polly was longer +recovering herself; but she, too, soon got over it, when I told her that +if we cried the girls would be sure to call us cry-babies. + +Presently Miss Pilgrim, who had considerately left us for a few minutes +to let us have our cry out, came back again, and took us up to show us +our room, where we could take off our things. She also kindly sent for +Clara Fairthorne, so that we might go down into the schoolroom with some +one we knew. It was rather an ordeal going in there, and seeing all the +faces lifted up from their work to look at the new comers. However, it +was not so bad as we had expected; they did not stare at us +disagreeably, nor did they, when we went out into the playground +afterwards, ask us so many questions as papa had warned us they would. +Indeed, there was no occasion for their doing so, as they had heard all +about us from Clara. One or two of them took us under their special +protection, as it were, for the first few days, and we felt at home very +much sooner than I had expected that we should do. We were about twenty +in all, from Annie Morgan and Selma Colman, the two parlour boarders, +down to Julia Jackson, a West-Indian child of eleven years old, the +darling and pet of the whole school. + +I am not going to write a long account of my schooldays. The daily +routine of one girl's school is so much like that of another, that there +is nothing new to be told of it; the little disputes, the rivalries, the +friendships sworn to last for life, but which seldom survive a year or +two of occasional correspondence,--all these things have been so +frequently told, that I shall not repeat them, but shall only mention +briefly such incidents as had an effect upon my after life. + +The account of one day's work is a description of all. Breakfast at +eight; school from half-past eight until twelve; then a walk for +three-quarters of an hour. Dinner at one; play for half an hour; school +from two till half-past five; another half-hour's play; tea at six; +school till eight; then to bed. + +Looking back upon it now, I wonder how I, and all the countless girls +who go through such slavery as this, keep their health and spirits. Our +walk was no recreation to us; we went, two and two, through the streets, +or into Kensington Gardens--the same walks week after week--till we knew +every stone on the pavement we walked on. It was a dreadfully formal +affair, and I think I would rather have been in school. The only play we +really had was the half-hour after dinner and the half-hour after tea, +and also on Saturday afternoons. Then, indeed, we made up for all the +day's repression,--running, jumping, skipping, laughing, and shouting +like mad girls, till I am sure sometimes we scandalized the whole +neighbourhood, and that passers by on the other side of the high wall +paused in astonishment at such an outburst of joyous cries and laughter. +Even at this time, as at all others during the day, we had to speak +French, not a word of English being allowed to be spoken in "Grendon +House;" and I remember congratulating myself that French girls laughed +the same way as we did, for we should certainly have been obliged to +laugh in French, had such a thing been possible. I was very good friends +with all my schoolfellows, and, indeed, there was very little +quarrelling among us,--just a sharp word or two, and a little extra +stateliness and ceremony for a day or so; but even this was uncommon, +for we had neither time nor opportunity to quarrel. My greatest +favourite was Ada Desborough, who was a month or two younger than +myself. Ada was tall, slight, with a very pretty figure, and a +particularly easy, graceful carriage. She was lively, talkative, full of +fun,--indeed inclined, to be almost too noisy, and it was easy to see +she would turn out a perfect flirt. + +Ada and I would sometimes quarrel, and she would take up with some one +else for three weeks or a month, and then come back to me all of a +sudden, and be as affectionate as ever. She was such a warm-hearted girl +it was impossible to be angry with her; and, on the whole, she was by +far my greatest friend all the time I was at Grendon House. It was +through Ada that the only break which ever occurred in the monotony of +our life at Grendon House took place. Ada's mother, Lady Eveline +Desborough, lived in Eaton Square, and Ada generally went home from +Saturday afternoon till Sunday evening. Sometimes, perhaps twice in a +half-year, she would bring an invitation from her mamma for three or +four of us to go there to spend the next Saturday afternoon with her. I +was always of the number, as being Ada's particular friend. We looked +forward to these little parties as a change; but there was not any great +amusement in them. + +Lady Desborough was the widow of General Sir William Desborough, and +moved in quite the extreme fashionable world. She was a tall, elegant +woman, with a haughty, aristocratic face. She used, I really think, to +try and unbend to us girls; but her success was not great: she was so +tall and haughty-looking, so splendidly dressed, and her attempt at +cordiality was so very distant that we were all quite awed by it. + +The programme of the afternoon's amusement was generally as follows. We +would go first either to the Polytechnic or the Zoological Gardens, or, +in fact, wherever we chose, under the escort of Lady Desborough's +housekeeper, a respectable middle-aged woman, who used to let us wander +about and do just as we liked. This part of the day was really +enjoyable; when we got back to Eaton Square, we had our tea together in +the small room behind the dining-room, where Lady Desborough dined in +solitary state. This was great fun. Ada made tea with a vast affectation +of ceremony, and the laughing and noise we made were prodigious, and +would have scandalized Miss Pilgrim, could she have heard us; and we +should not have ventured to indulge in it, had not Ada assured us that +the partition was so thick that it was quite impossible for our voices +to penetrate to the next room. When tea was over, we quieted down +gradually at the thought of what was in store for us, for when Lady +Desborough had finished her dinner, and gone up into the drawing-room, +we were sent for, and went up-stairs, putting on our best company +manners, as inculcated at "Grendon House," and seated ourselves on the +edges of the chairs, in the primest of attitudes, with our feet +perfectly straight, and our hands folded before us. We would first have +a little frigid conversation, and Lady Desborough would then ask us to +oblige her by playing on the piano, and as we always, by Miss Pilgrim's +order, brought a piece of music each with us, there was no possibility +of evading the infliction, but each had in turn to perform her piece; +and then we sat stiff and uncomfortable, till the welcome intelligence +came that Miss Pilgrim's servant was at the door with a cab. + +After the first year I was at school had passed, and when we were about +sixteen, the stiffness of these visits wore away, but we never were +quite comfortable with Lady Desborough; and, indeed, did not enjoy our +visit as much even as we had done the year before, for we were too old +to go now sightseeing under the housekeeper's care, and our merry teas +were exchanged for stiff dinners with Lady Desborough. + +Ada had one brother, whom I have not yet spoken of. He was five years +older than she was, and she always spoke of him in enthusiastic terms; +but I never saw him except the twice I went to Eaton Square, in my first +half-year. He was then rather more than twenty, and seemed a quiet young +man, and I thought a little shy, and out of his element with us five +girls. He was tall, and dark like his sister, but with a thoughtful, +studious face, very unlike hers. Ada said that at ordinary times he was +full of fun. All I can say is at these two visits I saw nothing of it. +He had, I believe, entered the Guards, but after a short time determined +to see some active service, and accordingly exchanged into the Lancers, +I understood from Ada, very much to his mother's dissatisfaction. + +I have now briefly told all the events which occurred in my two years at +school, which had in any way a bearing upon my after-life. I have told +them all at once, in order that I may not have to go back to my +schooldays again, which, indeed, were monotonous enough. I have read and +heard that in some schools the girls engage in all sorts of fun and +flirtation and adventures. It may be so; I do not know. I can only say +we had no such goings on at "Grendon House," but, although naturally +lively and full of fun enough, were certainly a quiet, well-conducted, +ladylike set of girls, and no such nonsense, as far as I ever heard, +entered into any one of our heads. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +THE BISHOP OF RAVENNA. + + +The autumn sun was blazing down upon the ancient city of Ravenna, and, +over the flat pestilential country around it, an unwholesome malarious +vapour hung thick and heavy. Perhaps in all Italy there is no more +unhealthy spot than is the neighbourhood of Ravenna. The whole country +is a swamp, the water oozes up in the fields at the very foot of its +walls, and the agriculturist has but to sink a bottomless tub in the +ground and he will have a well full to the brim, which no amount of +drawing upon will exhaust. The city itself sits lonely and deserted +amongst her green rice-grounds and swamps; her wide streets are empty, +her churches without worshippers, her aspect mournful and desolate in +the extreme. And yet this was once a mighty city, second only to +imperial Rome in magnitude and importance, the seat of Emperors, and the +cradle of Christianity. The swamps then were not in existence, but the +bright waves of the Adriatic broke close to its walls, and the Roman +galleys lay moored in the port of Classis within bow-shot range. The sea +is far off now, and the rice-grounds stretch away level and flat where +the waves broke. Classis has disappeared, and has left no sign; the +hungry morasses have swallowed every stone and vestige, and the ancient +church of St. Apollinarius alone marks where the place once stood; +while, where the galleys anchored, the thick groves of the pine forest +extend for miles in an unbroken shade. The emperors and exarchs, the +Gothic and Frank monarchs, the conquerors innumerable who in turns +lorded it there; the great family of Polenta, the patrons of art, who +for centuries were her masters;--all these are gone, and their tombs +alone tell that they ever existed: and now it lies forgotten and alone, +visited only for the sake of its early Christian churches, with their +glorious mosaics. + +Perhaps in all Italy there was at that time no city which, for its size, +contained so large a number of priests; probably its hush and quiet +suited them; but nearly every other person in the streets was an +ecclesiastic, and the clang of the bells calling to prayer from their +picturesque round campaniles never ceased. It was past mid-day, and mass +was over in most of the churches, when two aged women, in black dresses +and thick veils, which entirely concealed their faces, rang at the bell +of the Bishop's palace. The door was opened by a man in a sort of +semi-clerical attire. On giving their names, he bowed respectfully, and +saying "His lordship is expecting you," led the way up some wide stairs, +through a long corridor, and then signing to them to wait a moment, he +entered the room; returning in a few seconds, he requested them to +enter, and closed the door behind them. It was a very large room, +although its length was comparatively greater than its width. A range of +bookshelves, extending from the floor to a height of about five feet, +ran completely round it, and upon the dark-panelled walls were hung a +long series of portraits, probably those of the bishop's predecessors in +office. Above, the ceiling was divided by a richly-gilt framework into a +number of irregular partitions, in which were inserted a fine series of +paintings by ancient masters, the subjects of which were not all so +strictly Scriptural as might have been expected in the palace of a +Church dignitary. The light entered by a very large window at the end of +the apartment, the panes of which were of the small diamond pattern. +With his back to this window, by the side of a large chair, in which he +had apparently been sitting reading when his visitors were announced, +stood the Bishop of Ravenna. Although he had returned from mass some +quarter of an hour, he still wore a part of the robes in which he had +officiated. It is probable that as he expected the ladies who had just +entered, and as he was particularly anxious upon this occasion to +impress their minds strongly, he had purposely retained these insignia +of his office to add to the power which he had for many years been +accustomed to exercise over them. Not, indeed, that the bishop needed +any adventitious aids to his personal appearance. He was a tall, stately +figure, but little bent with the weight of the seventy years which had +passed over him. His hair was silver white, but the lines of the face +were still strong and marked. His manner was very variable,--at times +commanding, even harsh; at other moments mild and persuasive. As an +orator he had few equals in his Church,--the varying modulations of his +voice alternately awing and melting his audience. He advanced to meet +the two women, who, their veils raised now, hurried towards him, and +knelt at his feet to receive the blessing which he impressively bestowed +upon them. That done, he raised them, and placed them in chairs facing +the one he himself occupied. + +"My dear sisters," he began, in Italian, "I received your note before I +went out this morning, telling me that you were here, and would call +upon me after mass. I was indeed glad to hear of your coming. It is +three years now since I last saw you. It was in a humbler lodging than +this that you then visited me." + +"My sister and myself were indeed glad to learn that your services to +the Church had met the reward so richly deserved," the elder of the two +women said. + +The bishop waved his hand deprecatingly. + +"The Church has far too highly honoured my poor services," he said; "and +indeed I should have been well content to have remained in the sphere in +which I had so long worked; but it was not for me to oppose my will to +that of those who know far better than I can do what is best for our +holy Church. And you, sisters, how has it fared with you these three +years? Not badly in health, I should say, for you are in no way changed +since I saw you last." + +"Our health is good, truly, father, but our minds fare but badly. We are +weary of this long struggle, which has ended only in defeat, as our +letters have told you; and now we hope that you will grant the prayer we +have so often made, and allow us to retire into a convent for the rest +of our days." + +"But your struggle has not ended in a defeat," the bishop said, ignoring +the request contained in the last part of the speech. "No defeat can +come until the end of a battle. It is true that the news which you send +me is very bad. It is bad that the apostate who wrongfully holds Harmer +Place is still impenitent, still more bad that he should have determined +to will the property which rightfully belongs to the Church away to +other hands. But that I know that in this you are weak, that your hearts +turn towards him who is unworthy of it, I should long since have called +down the anger of an offended God upon him." + +"No, no, father," the younger of the two women, who had not as yet +spoken, said; "he is mistaken, grievously mistaken indeed, and we lament +it with tears, while we pray for him continually; but in other respects +he is very good, very kind to all, most of all to us." + +"That may be, sister Angela," the bishop said, sternly. "It is easy to +be kind in manner when all goes well with you in the world; it is easier +and more pleasant, but it is mere outside. What avails this if within +all is rotten, if the vital point of all is wanting? Such a man is but a +whited sepulchre. However," he continued, more mildly, "for your sake, +my sisters, the Church has been content to wait; for your sake it has +forborne to use the power of cursing and anathema which is confided to +her, here upon earth; for your sake it is content to remain tranquil +under the privation of the worldly goods which in her hands would have +done such incalculable good, but which are now devoted to far different +purposes." + +Here the bishop paused, and there was silence for a little, and then the +elder sister again asked,-- + +"And our request, father; will you grant us now that we may retire to a +convent? Our task is done here." + +"Your task is not done," the bishop said, sternly, "and may not be +relinquished. Our path in this life must be regulated by our duty, not +our wishes. Your duty is plain,--to endeavour to restore to the Church +that property of which it has been unjustly defrauded. No one can +perform this but you; and although at present things have worked but +ill, yet no one can say what may yet occur. You have already, in your +brother's present position, a striking instance of the unexpected way in +which the events of this world occur, and how little we can foresee the +intentions of God. Who can say, therefore, that in time this great wrong +may not be rectified, and that the will of your dead brothers, those +true children of the Church, may not yet be carried into effect? Events +have indeed turned out badly, but there is no ground for losing hope; +and you, who have hitherto worked so well for the good cause, I little +looked to see shrink from your allotted task; I expected better things +of you, sister Cecilia and sister Angela,--you, of all women, having +once put your hands to the plough, I did not think to see turn back from +the labour." + +"But we have tried hard, father, very hard for many long years," Cecilia +Harmer said, "and it is only because we find that our work has come to +nothing, that it is over, as it were, that we would gladly retire to die +in peace and quietness. It is eighteen years since we left the convent +we had entered, when the news came of our nephew's death. You bade us +go, and we went. For eighteen years we have worked and hoped. Hope and +work are over now; let us rest." + +"It has been so long, father, such weary years, almost without hope all +the while; we are so tired--so, so sick of the world. Oh, father, let us +go back to our convent!" the younger sister almost wailed, plaintively. + +"My dear sister," the bishop said, and this time his voice was soft and +persuasive, "we have all our trials; life is no rosy path, but is paved +with the sharp stones of duty; but yet we must all tread it as +unflinchingly as we may, looking for strength where only it can be +found. To you has been confided a great and important mission. You have +the opportunity of doing great things for the Holy Church. You have that +great and glorious object in view, and you are, moreover, filled with +the pious hope of saving a lost soul, and that the soul of your erring +brother. It is a task which the angels themselves might be glad to +perform. To the Church is given all power here, to bind and to loose, +and, for your sakes, I have promised you that your brother's errors +shall be passed over. Prayers are offered up that he may be forgiven; +and when the time comes, rest assured that at least no testimony shall +be made against him; and that if the Church cannot bless, it will at +least not curse the mistaken one. Every allowance has been and will be +made for his youth at the time he forsook the right path, and the strong +influences brought to bear upon him; his life has been, as you have +testified in your letters, save as to this grievous falling off, an +exemplary one; and I trust that, when at last stricken with illness, he +will turn back as a wandering sheep to the fold. These, my sisters, are +the inducements--a lost soul to be saved, the Church to be strengthened. +Not often are such inducements offered. But," and here he raised and +hardened his voice, "it is not by inducements only that the Church acts, +but by orders and threatenings. Upon you a certain burden has been +placed, hard to bear, perhaps, but not beyond your strength. From this +task you must not shrink; your private wishes are as nothing in the +balance. You have a duty, and would fain escape it to pass your life in +the way it would please you in a convent; you would say, to serve God +there, but He will not be so served; He has given you another sphere, +other tasks. The convent is for those who see no path of active +usefulness traced out for them--not for such as you. Who can tell what +may yet occur? I at first acceded to your request, and allowed you to +retire from the world, until your nephew's death clearly indicated that +Providence had not destined the property of the Church to pass from the +apostate father to the heretic son. Then your path of duty was clear; +and although at present the future looks dark, although your brother is +obstinate in his recusancy, and although he may talk of leaving his +property to others, yet the case is by no means hopeless. He may repent +and turn; this girl whom he has adopted may displease him; he may die +without a will. These and many other contingencies may arise, but until +his death your task cannot be ended." + +"But he is younger than we are; he may survive us both," the elder +sister said. + +"He may, but he may not; but that does not alter your path of duty," the +bishop answered. "But one thing I will concede. Just at present your +presence in England can do little or no good. You have my consent, +therefore, to your entering a religious house, and remaining there until +you shall hear, from the person whom you have informed me has undertaken +to let you know what is passing there, that some change has taken place, +either in his sentiments towards this girl, or in his health. This may +be weeks, months, or even years. When that word comes, you must be +prepared to go instantly back, and to do whatever I, or any one who may +speak in my name to you, may direct you." + +"Thank you, dear father," the elder sister said, while even Angela +acquiesced mutely; "to this we are ready, quite ready, to agree. We know +the importance of our success to the Church; we grieve over seeing the +property pass away into the hands of others; and I, for my part, seem to +feel a presentiment that the time will come before long when we shall be +successful. Three times, lately, Robert and Edward have come to me in my +sleep, and have told me to hope on, for that the light will yet shine +through the darkness. You have yourself told me, father, that there is +much in dreams." + +"Undoubtedly, sister; the Church has in all ages maintained that at +times revelations are made to the faithful in dreams, and by +apparitions, at which the vulgar mock. And now return to your hotel. You +shall hear from me in the course of the day; and if, as I believe, you +would rather be within reach of my ministration, than go among +strangers, I will speak to the superior of an establishment here, who +will, I am sure, gladly receive you as inmates." + +Again the sisters knelt before him, and received his blessing, and then +returned through the quiet streets of Ravenna to their hotel. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +SOCIETY GRACIOUSLY CONDESCENDS. + + +For upwards of a year after Mr. Harmer had spoken to papa relative to +the intended disposition of his property, the matter was not mentioned +to any one, but was known only to Dr. and Mrs. Ashleigh, my brother +Harry, himself, and his sisters. At the end of that time he made public +his intentions, and spoke of them openly. He did this for reasons +connected with Sophy Needham, for whom he was desirous of obtaining +suitable society. At the time the matter gave papa a good deal of +annoyance. Much as he was generally liked and esteemed, there were +people found, as there always are found upon every occasion, who made +ill-natured remarks upon our good fortune, and who really seemed by +their talk to be personally aggrieved at Mr. Harmer's kind intentions +towards us. Had they been asked why they were so, they probably could +not have replied; for as Mr. Harmer had--with the exception of his +sisters, who were amply provided for--no relation in the world, it was +evident that there was no one who could be considered as wronged or +injured by this disposition of his property. However, so it was; and, +although papa received the sincere congratulations of all his old +friends, I think he felt a good deal the ill-natured remarks, which came +to his ears, of people for whose opinion I should have thought he would +have cared nothing whatever. I was rather surprised at this; for if +there was one person more than another who had by his whole life and +conduct showed that he did not care for money, it was papa. He might, +therefore, have well afforded to laugh at such accusations as this; but +I suppose no one, however conscious of rectitude, likes to be spoken ill +of, even by people whom he despises, and whose opinion about others he +would treat with contempt. + +This was not, however, of long continuance, for, as far as we were +concerned, the talk and wonder soon died away, and things settled down +into their usual state; but it was not so as regarded Sophy Needham. The +announcement that she was to be the heiress of half of Mr. Harmer's +large fortune, elicited the greatest reprobation and disgust among the +very portion of the population who had been most cordial in their +congratulations as to the destination of the other half; namely, among +the country gentry, the clergy--a very numerous and powerful body in +Canterbury,--the professional men, and respectabilities of the place. + +"To think that that girl,--that----[and they called poor Sophy very hard +names],--that young person, should be raised up into one of the richest +heiresses of that part of the country, was a scandal to morality and an +outrage to public decency. Her elevation was offering a premium to +immorality among the lower orders. Did Mr. Harmer suppose that a person +of that kind, however wealthy, would be received into society? No, +indeed; the thing was quite out of the question." + +This was the first outburst of opinion among the upper two hundred of +Canterbury. + +By degrees, finding that Mr. Harmer did not concern himself greatly with +what was said about him, and that he showed no sign of changing his +declared intentions in deference to the popular voice, society gave up +talking so much about it; but its opinion was, it declared, unchangeable +as to the objectionable nature of his conduct. + +I think it likely that Mr. Harmer, who loved peace and quiet above all +things, would have suffered matters to remain as they were; but papa had +a serious talk with him on the subject. He pointed out that Sophy was +now eighteen years old, that the mere declaration of Mr. Harmer's +intentions towards her had not been of any use in procuring her friends +of her own age, and that, for her sake, he ought to again re-enter +society. She was growing up knowing nothing of the world; and should +anything happen to Mr. Harmer, she, being left entirely unprotected and +alone, would fall an easy prey to some fortune-hunter of the worst kind, +and her fortune would thus, instead of a benefit, turn out a positive +evil to her. + +Mr. Harmer acknowledged the truth of all this, and agreed with the +doctor, that reluctant as he felt to change his present studious and +retired mode of life, he ought still, for her sake, to make an effort to +re-enter society. + +Accordingly, the next day he ordered his carriage, and made a long round +of visits to his old friends in the town and precincts; for, although he +had ceased to visit, he had still kept up a casual acquaintance with +those he had before known, and indeed had met many of them during his +frequent visits to papa. + +Mr. Harmer's calls were everywhere received with pleasure, and his +frank, winning manner seemed at once to place him upon a familiar +footing with those of his friends with whom he had once been such a +favourite. He apologized for the hermit life he had so long led; said +that circumstances had induced him to determine to abandon it, and that +he hoped that they, their wives, and daughters would show that they +forgave him by calling at Harmer Place. But at the end of the day, if +well satisfied with the reception he had personally met with, he was +unable to persuade himself that he had made the slightest progress, as +far as Sophy--who was the real object of his visits--was concerned. A +cordial invitation had been in each instance given him to repeat his +calls, but in no case had more than an evasive answer been returned in +reply to his invitation to the ladies of the family. + +On the day succeeding these visits the interchange of calls which took +place at Canterbury was quite without precedent. The great question +which every one had to ask was, "Should they go over to Harmer Place to +call upon Sophy Needham?" It would hardly have been supposed necessary +to have asked a question upon which they had, three months before, +decided unanimously in the negative; but then it is so easy to say you +will not do a thing before you have been asked--so very difficult to +refuse when you are. Indeed, many of the Canterbury ladies were now +sorry that they had spoken so very decidedly, and were ready to admit +that there was really a good deal to be said in favour of calling upon +the poor girl. + +However, fortunately for these vaccillating creatures, and happily for +the propriety and strict respectability of the town, the heads of the +society, from whose dicta there was no appeal, sternly said that such a +thing was, of course, out of the question; and society in general +naturally followed suit, repressed a little sigh of regret, and agreed +that it was quite out of the question. Had the population of Canterbury +been differently proportioned to what it was, the answer might have been +otherwise. Had there been young men in the place, who might have won the +heiress, their mothers might have rebelled against the edict of +exclusion, and for their sons' sake have called upon Sophy Needham; but, +as I shall explain in its proper place, there were no young men in +Canterbury, and therefore no motive for any one to rebel against +constituted authority, or to outrage propriety by calling at Harmer +Place. + +Papa, when informed of this decision, was very indignant and angry--much +more so than he had been by the recent aspersions on himself. He even +went so far as to say, that if this were Christian charity, he would +rather fall among heathens. He exerted himself to the utmost to bring +matters about, but the other ladies would not call unless the ladies of +the precincts did, and the ladies of the precincts would not. However, +it was not papa's way to give up anything he had once undertaken, and he +accordingly one day sat down and wrote as follows:-- + + "My dear old Friend, + + "Although our correspondence has been pretty regular, it is now + three years since we met, and I want you, your wife, and + daughter to come down and stay a week with us, either before or + after Christmas, as may suit you best. Your diocese can, I am + sure, do without you for a little while, and I know you will be + glad to see again the old place, where you lived so long; and + it would give us all great pleasure to enjoy your society once + more. At the same time, I tell you frankly that it is in your + power to confer a great favour and benefit both upon myself and + upon another old friend of yours, Herbert Harmer. + + "You will remember he brought up the child his son left behind + him, that he sent her to school, and, in fact, adopted her as + his own. All this happened when you were here. In my last + letter I told you that he intended to leave her half his + fortune, about £75,000. He is now naturally anxious to + introduce her into society, in order that she may see the + world, and make some suitable match, as otherwise the poor girl + would, at his death, be nearly certain to be snapped up by some + worthless fortune-hunter. Now you will hardly believe me when I + tell you that the Christian matrons of this town shake their + garments at the poor child, and insist that her presence would + be a contamination to the pure atmosphere they breathe. + + "Sophy is a quiet, modest, ladylike girl, and I am greatly + interested in her. But here I can do nothing. I am sure that + the great proportion of the ladies would be willing enough to + call upon her, but they are like society in general--a mere + flock of sheep, who will only follow where the bell-wethers + lead them. Now, the two or three ladies who act in that + capacity to Canterbury society consider that this poor little + lamb will taint the whole flock, and therefore pronounce her + infect and excommunicated. + + "My dear old friend, I rely upon you and your kind wife to take + off the ban these Pharisees have lain upon her. If you will + both go over, during your stay here, to call upon her, + Canterbury will be only too glad to do the same. If a bishop + and his lady pronounce her visitable, who shall say them nay? I + know, old friend, that in the eyes of yourself and your wife + the sin of this poor girl's parents will not affect her. She is + not to blame, and why should their faults be visited upon her? + But I know that upon this head I need say nothing. Your wide + views of Christian love and charity are so well known, that any + word upon the subject would be superfluous. If you will do + this, my dear bishop, you will confer an inestimable benefit + upon Herbert Harmer and his grand-daughter; and you will very + greatly oblige, + + "Yours, very truly, + + "ALFRED ASHLEIGH." + +All turned out as papa had hoped. The bishop, with his wife and +daughter, came down to spend a week with us. The day after they arrived +we had a perfect levee of visitors; and when the room was at its +fullest, Mr. Harmer came in, being, of course, in complete ignorance +that the visit had been principally brought about for his especial +benefit. The bishop greeted him warmly, for they mutually esteemed and +liked each other. + +"I am very glad, Mr. Harmer, to hear from our friend, the doctor, that +you have given up your hermit-mode of life, and are going out into the +world again. I suppose all these years you have been hoarding up +treasures: your house must be a perfect scientific museum by this time; +and the doctor tells me that your library is nearly perfect, of its +kind. I must really come over some day before I leave and inspect your +collection." + +Mr. Harmer expressed the gratification the visit would afford him. + +"I shall certainly come," the bishop went on; "it will give me great +pleasure. Let me see. To-morrow I shall be engaged in calls upon my +friends in the town; suppose we say the day after. What do you say, my +dear?" he asked, raising his voice, to his wife, who was sitting on the +other side of the room, "I am going over the day after to-morrow to see +Mr. Harmer's museum and library; will you and Gertude accompany me? Your +adopted daughter," he added, turning to Mr. Harmer, "must be growing +quite a young woman by this time." + +"Certainly, my dear," his wife answered, "I should like it very much." + +Mr. Harmer's face flushed with pleasure, and he wrung the bishop's hand. +It was easy to see that he felt the kindness, and saw the true motive of +the offer to brings his wife and daughter to Harmer Place. As to the +remainder of those present, they were simply astounded. The buzz of +conversation ceased throughout the room, and a dead silence ensued. As +for myself, I should certainly have laughed out loud--had not the +silence been so great that I dared not do so--at the general look of +dismay in the female faces, and of rather amusement on the part of the +gentlemen, who I could guess had been vainly urging their wives to call. +The conversation presently became general again, but the effort was too +great to be continued long; and in a very few minutes most of those +present took their leave, only to be succeeded by fresh callers, until +half-past four, after which hour it was the strict etiquette of +Canterbury that no visits were permissible. + +On the appointed day the visit was paid. I accompanied them in the +carriage, and papa rode on horseback. + +The Miss Harmers were away, as, indeed, had been the case since Sophy +had left school and taken up her permanent residence there. Sophy was +pale, and evidently very nervous; and in her manifest desire to please +it was easy to see that she was much affected, and deeply grateful for +the kindness which would be the means of removing the disadvantages +under which she had laboured, and which had weighed much upon her mind. +However, before the visit, which lasted some time, as the library and +collection of scientific apparatus had to be inspected, was over, she +had recovered her usual placid demeanour. + +This visit had the consequences which papa had predicted from it. +Society unanimously agreed that although certainly it was a strange, a +very strange step for the bishop and his lady to have taken, still as +they had done so, there could be no harm in every one else doing the +same; in fact that it would only be what was right and proper. The +ladies whom papa had rather irreverently spoken of in his letter as the +bell-wethers of the flock, held out to the last and declared that they +could not reconcile it to their conscience, or to their sense of what +was due to their husbands' position. But the flock were no longer +obedient to their lead, and indeed whispered amongst themselves, that a +bishop's lady, who was moreover the daughter of a peeress, must know a +good deal better what was proper and right than a mere canon's wife +could do; and the consequence was that from that moment the influence of +these ladies over Canterbury society waned much, and the opposition to +poor Sophy recoiled upon the heads of those who had made it. In a short +time every one in Canterbury and the neighbourhood called at Harmer +Place, and the general verdict upon Sophy was decidedly satisfactory. +She was pronounced quiet, self-composed, and ladylike; and indeed Sophy +evinced none of that nervousness which she had shown upon the occasion +of the bishop's visit. To him she felt she owed all; to these people +nothing. So, although perfectly polite and courteous, she was yet +composed and tranquil; and some of the ladies who had called, quite +prepared to be very patronizing and kind, found any such line of conduct +completely out of the question. There was a quiet dignity and self +possession about her which became her much. She was the well-bred +hostess receiving her grandfather's guests, and few girls enacting such +a part for the first time could have played it so well. + +For three or four months after the bishop's visit had given the signal +for society to admit Sophy Needham within its circle, the intercourse +was restricted to morning calls of an extremely formal nature, which +seemed by no means likely to bring about the result, to obtain which Mr. +Harmer had emerged from his solitude; he made up his mind, therefore, to +break the ice, which again seemed setting over the surface of the +Canterbury society, by giving a series of picnics and open air fêtes. +The first of these took place early in June, when I was away at school; +but I heard full particulars of it upon my return. The whole of the +inhabitants of Canterbury and the neighbourhood whose position rendered +them eligible were invited, together with the officers of the garrison, +a very necessary addition at Canterbury, where dancing young men are +almost unknown. A large marquee was erected and boarded for dancing, a +quadrille band brought down from London, and the military band engaged +for the afternoon. Archery butts were set up, bowling-greens mowed and +rolled, and coloured lamps placed in all the walks, to be illuminated +after dusk. People met at between three and four, had a substantial tea +at six, and a magnificent supper at eleven. Nothing, in short, which +taste and an unlimited purse could do, was neglected, and the result was +a splendid success. And yet early in the evening a difference had arisen +which would have marred the pleasure of the whole scene had it not been +for the firmness of Mr. Harmer. It seemed that soon after nine o'clock +when it began to get dusk, some of the ladies of the precincts had +objected strongly to the coloured lamps which had just been lighted, and +which began to sparkle in the trees and grass by the side of the various +walks. Not in themselves, for they allowed the effect to be very pretty; +but as offering inducements and pretexts for isolated couples to stroll +away, and get entirely beyond maternal supervision. Two of the ladies +waited upon Mr. Harmer as a sort of deputation from the others, and it +happened that one of them was the chief of the party who had opposed +Sophy Needham's introduction into society, but who had at last come to +the conclusion that, as others were going, it would be showing a want of +Christian feeling to refuse to do as others did. These ladies recited to +Mr. Harmer the objections they entertained, and concluded-- + +"The lighted walks will tempt the young people to stroll away and get +quite out of our sight, and as all these thoughtless officers are sure +to persuade them to walk there, it will lead to all sorts of silly +nonsense and flirtation." + +"My dear ladies," Mr. Harmer said, "as to the result I entirely agree +with you, and as I, although I am an old fellow now, do like to see +young people enjoying themselves, it is precisely for the very reason +that you have alleged that I have had the garden lighted up." + +There was nothing to reply to this, but one of the ladies said rather +angrily-- + +"Of course, Mr. Harmer, you can do as you like, but we shall forbid our +daughters to walk there." + +"My dear madam," Mr. Harmer said, gently, "you can equally of course do +as you please; but it appears to me, and it will appear to every one +else, if you issue such an order, that you can have but a very poor +opinion of, and very slight confidence in, the principles of your +daughters. You show, in fact, that you cannot trust them to stroll for a +few minutes, with gentlemen they have never met before, in well-lighted +walks, where there will be dozens of other couples similarly enjoying +themselves. Were I in your place, I should hesitate greatly before I +laid such a serious imputation upon my children." + +The deputation retired greatly crestfallen, and the result was that for +that evening the young Canterbury girls were for the first time in their +lives nearly emancipated from maternal supervision, and enjoyed the +evening proportionately, flirting with a zest all the greater for its +being an amusement indulged in for the first time, and making their +mothers' hearts swell, and their mothers' hair figuratively stand on end +at such unheard of goings on. Another consequence of the lighted walks +was that many families of girls who had never hitherto been allowed to +dance except in quadrilles, now found themselves allowed to waltz as +they pleased. Not that their mothers' views of the extreme impropriety +of such dances had undergone any change; but that of two evils they +chose the least, and thought it better to have their daughters waltzing +under their eyes, than that they should be wandering away altogether +beyond their ken. + +Why is it that mothers are so much stricter than fathers? It is certain +that it is so, and upon this occasion, while the mothers were inwardly +bewailing the conduct of their daughters, the fathers, although many of +them clergymen, were looking on with beaming faces on the young people +enjoying themselves so thoroughly; and more than one would have been +delighted, could such a thing have been permitted, to have put his +clerical dignity aside, and his clerical white neckcloth into his +pocket, and to have joined heartily in the fun. + +They did what they could to add to the general enjoyment, and several +times some of them gathered into a little knot, with two or three of +their wives, and sung some old glees--"Five times by the taper's light," +"The winds whistle cold," and "The chough and crow;" and splendidly they +sang them too. They had some famous voices among them, and I do not +think I have ever heard those fine old glees better sung than I have +heard them at Canterbury. + +Sophy, of course, attracted much attention throughout the evening, and +was constantly the centre of a little group of officers, not a few of +whom would have been very willing to have turned their swords into +ploughshares for her sake, and to have devoted their lives to the care +of her and her possessions. + +Sophy, however, by no means appeared to reciprocate their feelings in +her favour. She was naturally of a quiet and retiring disposition, and +did not care for dancing; and therefore, under the excuse of attending +to her guests, she danced very little; when she did so, her conversation +was so simple and straightforward, that any attempt at flirting upon the +part of her partners was out of the question. Altogether, although the +success of the fête was brilliant, as the officers agreed on their way +back to barracks, and that nothing could have been better done, still, +as far as Sophy was concerned--and several of them had previously +announced their intention of going in for the heiress, and had even +exchanged bets upon the subject--the affair was a failure. However, they +consoled themselves that there was plenty of time yet, especially as Mr. +Harmer had announced at supper, that another fête would take place that +day six weeks, upon the 28th of July, to which he invited all friends. + +This fête completely roused Canterbury from its usual lethargy, as Mr. +Harmer's return to the abode of his father had done twenty years before. +Every one gave parties; picnics upon a large scale were organized to +different places in the neighbourhood, and the officers of the garrison +gave a ball. + +At the second of Mr. Harmer's fêtes Polly and I were present, as it came +off just at the end of our holidays. I need not describe it, as it was +in most respects similar to the first, and was just as great a success. +I enjoyed myself very much, and danced a great deal with the officers, +who did not seem to consider my being a schoolgirl any bar to me as a +partner, as I had expected that they would have done. When not dancing I +amused myself in watching Sophy. I knew that Mr. Harmer wished her to +marry, and I was interested to see with what sort of a man she was +likely to be taken. But Sophy was so quiet, that she did not seem to +care in the least with whom she danced, or to evince the slightest +preference for any one. There was, however, one thing I noticed, and +that puzzled me a good deal at the time. I never spoke to any one about +it, but as events turned out, I afterwards bitterly regretted that I had +not done so. I noticed early in the evening a remarkably handsome man, +standing by himself, and watching Sophy as she danced. I did not know +him, and asked a lady next to me, who he was. + +"That is Robert Gregory, my dear, the son of Mr. Gregory, the +hop-factor, who died about two years ago. He was thought to have been a +wealthy man, but he died worth next to nothing. It was supposed that +this son of his--who is, I am told, one of the most idle and worthless +young men in the country--squandered it all away. He was absent some +years in London, and went on terribly there, and it is said that his +poor old father was silly and weak enough to ruin himself paying the +worthless fellow's debts. I am surprised to meet such a person in +respectable society; but I suppose Mr. Harmer knew nothing about him, +and only invited him as the son of a man who stood well in the town." + +Robert Gregory was certainly a very handsome man, of a powerful build, +about twenty eight years old. But as I watched him, his face seemed to +me, not to be a pleasant one, but to have a bold and defiant expression. +It might be merely the effect of what I had just heard; but certainly +the more I looked at the man the more I felt repelled by him. He was +still watching Sophy, and as I mechanically followed the direction of +his gaze, I distinctly observed her, to my intense surprise, glance two +or three times in his direction, not mere ordinary glances, which might +fall upon any one, but positive stolen looks, which rested upon him, and +were unmistakably in answer to his. After this I could not help watching +them whenever I was not dancing, and I observed her once or twice in the +course of the evening, as she passed by where he stood, exchange a word +or two with him, not naturally and openly, but speaking as she walked +past, so that no one, not watching as I was doing, would have noticed +it. + +I thought, as I have said, a good deal about it at the time. I did not +like to speak to papa upon such a subject, as it might seem like prying, +and, had there been nothing in it, it would have caused a great deal of +unpleasantness; still, I do think that I should finally have done so, +under promise of secrecy, had I not started for school next day. Before +Christmas came round, when I left school and came back for good, I had +forgotten all about the circumstance, and even had I not done so, should +certainly not have mentioned it after all that lapse of time. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD. + + +About three months after I left school for good I received an invitation +to go up to London and stay for a month with Ada Desborough. This was a +great event. Ada told me that her mother was going to give a grand ball, +at which she was to come out, and that I should be formally introduced +to the world upon the same occasion; and she remarked that she flattered +herself that society in general ought to rejoice at the advent of two +such charming votaries at its shrine. She added, in a postscript, that +her brother Percy would be at home on leave. + +I was, of course, delighted at the prospect of a month of real London +life, with its balls and operas, and looked forward to my visit as if +going into fairy-land. Mr. Harmer, when he heard of my invitation, made +me a very handsome present to buy myself dresses fitted for the +occasion. I had, therefore, a fortnight of excitement and preparation, +as my morning and walking dresses were made at Canterbury; but my +ball-dresses were ordered of a London dressmaker, as mamma thought that +Canterbury fashions would not do for me at Lady Desborough's. + +At last all was ready, and I started for town. Papa put me in charge of +a lady of his acquaintance, who was also going to London, and then said +good-bye, with many comic injunctions as to my behaviour in good +society. + +Nothing particular happened on our journey to London, and when I got out +at the station, a tall footman, whose face I remembered, came up and +touched his hat, and asked what luggage I had. + +Lady Desborough had sent her carriage to meet me, and I began to realize +the fact that I had all at once become a young woman. + +I felt a little flurried when we drew up at the house in Eaton Square, +and the tall footman knocked at the door, in a way I thought +unnecessarily loud and important. + +However, I soon felt at home when Ada came flying downstairs into the +hall, and kissed me as warmly as she had done three months before when +we parted at Miss Pilgrim's. + +"Come along, Agnes, dear; never mind your things; they will be all +brought up safe. Your room is next to mine, with a door between, so we +shall be able to talk as much as we like. Mamma is not very well, and is +lying down, and you will not see her till dinner-time, so I have got you +all to myself for three hours. There, that is your room, and this is +mine." + +Very snug and comfortable they looked, with two large fires blazing in +the grates, which gave a cosy look to the rooms, and caused me to forget +the unusual grandeur of the furniture; for I should, I think, have +otherwise felt not a little awe-struck, it was all so very different +from my quiet old-fashioned low-ceiled room, with its white hangings, +down in Canterbury. + +However, I had no time to notice much then, for Ada, in her impulsive +way, was already occupied in taking off my wraps; this done, she again +kissed me, and then made me seat myself in a chair in front of the fire, +while she nestled down on a low stool beside me. + +"There, Agnes, now you will get warm again. Do you know you are looking +very well after your journey, and are certainly even prettier than when +I saw you last. I begin to think I was very foolish to have you here at +all: you will quite eclipse poor little me." + +I laughed at the nonsense she was talking, for Ada was one of the +loveliest girls I ever saw, and I--well, I believe I was pretty, but +certainly nothing to compare to Ada. We chatted merrily over old times, +and then Ada gave me the list of our engagements, which quite frightened +me, at the number of titled people I was going to visit. At last it was +time to get ready for dinner; so I went into my own room, where I found +Ada's maid had already unpacked my boxes, and put all my things away +ready for use into the drawers and wardrobes. I was therefore able to +take my time dressing, talking to Ada the while through the open door. + +When we went down into the drawing-room ready for dinner, we found Percy +sitting reading by the light of the bright fire. He must have heard the +rustle of our dresses as we entered, but he continued reading to the +last moment; then closing his book, reluctantly as it were, rose to +speak to us. As he did so he gave quite a start; he had evidently +expected to meet the schoolgirl he had seen nearly two years before, +looking demure and half frightened at his mamma's presence, and I +certainly felt flattered at the evident surprise and admiration his face +expressed when his eyes fell upon me. It was my first effect, and I +could not help colouring up and feeling gratified. + +"I need not say how do you do, Miss Ashleigh," he said, coming forward +to shake hands with me. "Your looks speak for themselves. I should +hardly have known you; how you have grown, and how very pretty you have +become." + +I coloured high in laughing confusion, and Ada said, coming to my +relief, "Really, Percy, how sadly _gauche_ and unpolished you are in +your way of paying compliments: the idea of telling a young lady just +come out, that she has grown very pretty; just the sort of thing you +might have said to a little child, or a milkmaid. You might have +conveyed the idea, which in itself is true and unexceptionable, in some +delicate way in which it would have been acceptable. Grown pretty, +indeed! You never had much manners, Percy, but the Lancers certainly +have not improved you." + +"I really beg your pardon, Miss Ashleigh," he said, colouring almost as +much as I had done, "but I felt so much surprised for a moment at the +change in you, that I was obliged to express myself in the most +straightforward way: had what I said been less true, I should have put +it into some different form." + +"That is better, Percy," Ada said, approvingly. + +"Agnes, make one of your best Grendon House curtsies." + +I swept to the ground in a deep reverence, and then having quite +recovered my confusion by seeing Percy embarrassed by Ada's attack, I +was able to take my own part in the conversation; and--accustomed as I +was to wordy skirmishes with papa and Harry--with Ada on my side, we +soon completely silenced Percy, who, indeed, in a war of words, was no +match for either of us alone. + +Percy Desborough was, in my opinion, a handsome man; and yet, perhaps, +as I am prejudiced in his favour, my opinion may not be worth much, and +I do not think girls in general would have thought him so. He was now +nearly twenty-three, about middle height, rather slight, with a lithe, +sinewy figure: very upright. His brown hair was brushed back with a wave +from his forehead, for in the year of grace, 1848, young men had not +taken to cutting their hair like convicts, or charity boys. He had a +thoughtful and yet a quick eye, a firm, resolute mouth, and a white and +thin, but very nervous hand. He looked a soldier every inch, of the type +of which our Indian heroes are made; thoughtful, studious men, with warm +hearts, and iron resolutions, with manners quiet and gentle, but with +the fiery courage of a Bayard. He was as far removed from the ordinary +drawing-room soldier as can well be; men who, doubtless, when necessity +comes, are, as every English gentleman must be, brave as far as personal +courage goes, but who care little for their military duties, contenting +themselves with going through the daily routine, reserving all their +best energies for the evening. Men with a rather supercilious smile, and +languid air, with a great flow of small talk and compliments: men much +given to stroking their moustache and whiskers, and with an amazing idea +of their own powers of fascination; not, indeed, that I blame them for +that, for we girls do make such fools of them, that it is no wonder they +should consider that as far as we are concerned they are invincible. +Percy was, on the other hand, almost shy with women, and was very +studious, especially in all matters relating to his profession. He +expected, Ada told me, to embark for India with his regiment in about a +year's time, and he was working very hard at Hindostanee and the other +Eastern languages, in order to qualify himself for a staff appointment. + +Lady Desborough presently came down. She was extremely gracious and +cordial, and, although it was not more than six months since she had +seen me, she assured me that I had very much improved, especially in +figure and carriage,--the points, she observed, in which young girls +generally fail; and she said she should be quite proud of two such +belles as Ada and myself to introduce into society. + +We dined earlier than usual, and did not sit so long at the table. This +was a great relief to me, as I hardly felt enough at home to have quite +recovered from my old sense of oppression at the extreme stateliness of +the meal. The reason for this change was, that we were going to the +opera in the evening. We had dressed for it before dinner, so that there +was no time lost, and we entered Lady Desborough's box a little before +the overture began. Lady Desborough insisted on us girls taking the +front seats. She sat between us, but rather farther back, while Percy +stood sometimes behind Ada, sometimes behind me. + +While the overture was going on, Ada told me to look down upon the sea +of heads below. It was wonderful, but yet a little confusing, there were +so many men looking up with opera-glasses, and a great many of them +seemed gazing right into our box. + +"How very rude they are, Ada!" + +Ada laughed. She had often been there before, and was accustomed to it. + +"My dear, it is the greatest possible compliment to us. All these +lorgnettes turned to our box proclaim us indisputable belles. Men would +not take the trouble to look at us if we were not pretty. There, child, +don't colour up so; the only way is to look perfectly indifferent, as if +you were quite unconscious of it." + +It was easy advice to give, and I followed it to the best of my power; +but I felt very hot and uncomfortable till the curtain drew up, and then +I was too entirely absorbed in the music to have noticed it, even if the +whole house had been looking at me. + +It was to me an evening of enchantment. The opera was "Lucrezia Borgia," +with Alboni as Orsini, and I had never before conceived it possible that +the human voice was capable of producing such exquisite full liquid +notes as those which poured from her, seemingly without the slightest +effort. It was marvellous, and I was literally enchanted; and even +between the acts I did not recover sufficiently from the effect it +produced on me to listen to Ada, who wanted to talk, and tell me who +every one was in the different boxes. + +When we reached home, Lady Desborough said it was quite a treat going +with any one who enjoyed herself as thoroughly as I did. The first time +Ada went she did not seem to care in the least about the music, and only +occupied herself in asking who all the people were. + +The next day we went for a drive in the park, and I was quite astonished +and delighted at the number and beauty of the carriages and horses; for +in our walks at school, we had only kept in the secluded parts of the +park and gardens, and had never been allowed to go near the fashionable +quarters. It was quite a new pleasure to me. But whatever I felt, I knew +it was right and proper to sit quite still, and to look passive and +quiet as Ada did, especially as numbers of ladies in carriages bowed to +Lady Desborough, and men on horseback lifted their hats, or sometimes +rode up to the carriage and spoke. Ada knew most of them by name, but +very few to speak to, as her mamma had not been in the habit of taking +her out to drive with her, or of introducing her to any one, as she was +not yet out. But now as we were to appear the next evening in public, +Lady Desborough introduced several of the gentlemen to us, and some of +them rode for a little way by the side of the carriage, talking to her +ladyship, and sometimes exchanging a few words with Ada and myself. That +evening we were a quiet little party, and after Ada and I had played +some of our old school duets together, we went to bed quite early, in +order to be fresh for the next day's fatigues. + +What an exciting day that was! Early in the morning Gunter's men came +and took possession of the dining-room, turning it completely upside +down. A large cartload of benches and tressels came at the same time, +and they took the dining-table away, and erected a large horse-shoe +table in its place. In the mean time the upholsterer's men were hard at +work in the drawing-room. First they removed all the furniture from it; +then they took out the window-sashes, and erected a most lovely little +tent over the whole balcony, lined with white and blue muslin, and +furnished with couches, forming a most charming place to go out into +between the dances. Having done this, they stretched a drugget over both +drawing-rooms, and placed forms round the room. As soon as they were +gone, Ada and I came into it, and performed a waltz on the drugget, +which was pronounced stretched to perfection. About this time Percy +arrived from Covent Garden, where he had been to see that the flowers +which had been previously ordered were coming. Scarcely had he arrived +when two carts drove up to the door full of them. We thereupon formed +ourselves into a council of taste, and the flowers were distributed +under our supervision in the hall, in the room behind the +dining-room--which was to be for tea and ices--on the landings of the +staircase, and in the grates of the drawing-rooms. The conservatory had +been filled the day before, and a perfumed fountain from Rimmel's, +placed there to play during the evening. When all was done, we +pronounced the effect to be charming. Lady Desborough, at Ada's request, +came down from her room, where she had been all the morning, to inspect +the arrangements, which she pronounced exceedingly good. Indeed it +looked extremely well, for the drawing-rooms, which were very large and +handsome, had been repapered specially for the occasion, Lady Desborough +being determined that nothing should be wanting, and their effect, with +the pretty tent outside, and the large boudoir opening from the farther +end, was really lovely. When she had inspected everything, she said that +she particularly wished us to lie down for a time in the afternoon, and +to get a short sleep if possible, if not to take a book, but at all +events to keep quiet, in order that we might be fresh in the evening. +This advice we of course had to follow, but it was very unpalatable to +us both, as we were girls enough to enjoy all the bustle immensely; +still there was no help for it; and so we went up to our rooms, where +lunch, by Lady Desborough's orders, was brought up to us. After that we +lay down, but I don't think either of us closed our eyes. I am sure I +was far too excited at the thought of the evening before me. Presently +Ada came into my room, and said that lying down was out of the question, +so we wheeled two easy chairs before the fire, and sat there and chatted +quietly. + +By six o'clock the supper was all laid, under the superintendence of +Gunter's managing man himself, and the effect, when we went in to see it +on our way down to dinner in the back dining-room, was certainly superb. +Even Lady Desborough condescended to express her conviction to Gunter's +managing man, that nothing could be better. + +After this, the house subsided into quiet, and soon after seven we went +up to dress. We had thus nearly three hours before us, as it was quite +certain no one would come before ten; and I confess I did not see how we +could possibly occupy all that, and was half inclined to side with Percy +in his remarks as to the absurdity of our being so long at our toilet. +However, Ada paid no attention to what he said, and, of course, I went +up-stairs with her. It was very pleasant up there, and we chatted a long +time, sitting before Ada's fire, before we made any signs of beginning +to dress. + +Presently a knock at the door interrupted us, and we were told that the +hairdresser was below. + +"I will go down first, Agnes; you get on with your dressing. I shall not +be twenty minutes at most." + +While I was dressing a small parcel was brought up, which had been left +at the door for me. It contained a note and a small jewel-box. The note +was from Messrs. Hunt and Roskell, saying, "That they had received +orders from Mr. Harmer, of Canterbury, to send me a cross, the choice of +which he had left with them, and a small chain to suspend it round my +neck. That they trusted the jewel would give me satisfaction; but that, +if I wished, they would exchange it for any other in their shop, if I +would favour them with a call." The contents of the case were a small +cross, composed entirely of very large diamonds, of the value of which I +had no idea, but which looked very lovely, and a small chain to hang it +round my neck. I said nothing to Ada, although the door was open, as I +wished to surprise her. + +Ada's maid seemed a long time to me putting the finishing touches to my +dress; for I was not accustomed to all these little minutiæ; but at last +it was done, and I turned round to go into Ada's room--she having been +dressed by Lady Desborough's own maid--when she came into the room to +me, and as she did so we uttered an exclamation of mutual admiration. +Ada certainly looked lovely; she was dressed in white silk, with white +tulle over it, which was looped up with scarlet flowers, and she had a +wreath of the same, with green leaves in her dark hair; round her neck +was a beautiful necklace of pearls of great value, which was, I believe, +a family heirloom. + +My dress, like hers, was of white silk, with a skirt of lovely Brussels +lace, a present from Mr. Harmer, over it. This was slightly looped up +with blue forget-me-nots, and I had a wreath of the same flowers in my +hair. + +"Oh Agnes," Ada exclaimed, after our first burst of mutual +congratulations was over, "Oh, Agnes, what a lovely diamond cross; where +did you get it from? you never showed it me before." + +I explained to her the manner in which I had just received it. + +"Well, Agnes, that Mr. Harmer of yours is a trump, as Percy would say. +What a beautiful thing. Have you any idea of the value of it?" + +I knew nothing of the value of diamonds, and suggested twenty pounds. + +"Twenty pounds, you silly child," Ada said; "you don't deserve to have +presents made you. If I know anything of diamonds, it is worth two +hundred." + +"You don't mean that, Ada," I exclaimed, quite frightened at the idea of +carrying such a valuable thing round my neck; "you are only laughing at +me." + +"I can assure you I am in earnest, Agnes; they are quite worth that; +they are splendid diamonds, and the cross looks quite a blaze of light +on your neck." + +We were down stairs by a quarter to ten. Percy was already there, and +paid us both many nonsensical compliments. Lady Desborough soon came +down, and also expressed herself highly pleased with our appearance. She +fully endorsed what Ada had said as to the value of the cross, and said +that it was worth more than Ada had put it at, perhaps nearly twice as +much. + +"Now," she said, when Percy had gone out of the room to fetch something +he had forgotten, "I wish to give you a last piece of advice. I give it +to you, Miss Ashleigh, as much as I do to Ada, for as you come out under +my charge, I consider myself as responsible for you equally. To you, +Ada, I say be very careful you do not let your high spirits run away +with you; above all, do not become noisy: I know well what your tendency +is. This does not apply to you, Miss Ashleigh, for although you have +good spirits, I know you are not likely to let them run away with you as +Ada is. Do not either of you, I beg, dance more than once, or at most +twice with any gentleman. This applies equally to you, Miss Ashleigh, as +the heiress to a considerable fortune. It is incumbent on you both to be +very careful with whom you dance,--I mean, dance frequently: there is +nothing more damaging to a girl than that her name should be mentioned +as seen flirting with any but a most eligible party; and as at present +you do not know who is who, you cannot be too careful." + +Here Percy's return interrupted any further advice which Lady Desborough +might have been disposed to have tendered us; and in a few minutes the +visitors began to arrive, and my first ball began. + +I may here mention, with reference to Lady Desborough's remark about my +being an heiress, that Clara Fairthorne had brought the news to school, +when Mr. Harmer's intentions with respect to us were publicly announced, +and from that time we were generally known there by the nickname of the +"heiresses." + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +THE OLD STORY. + + +I never enjoyed myself in my life as much as I did at that ball. Lady +Desborough introduced a good many of the first comers to me, and Percy +brought up more. He had engaged me for the first waltz, and he presently +asked me for the first polka after supper; and my card was soon quite +full for the whole evening. + +At some times I should have been sorry for this, as one does not like to +be obliged to refuse any very eligible looking man who may be introduced +to one. Besides, it prevents dancing a second dance with any +particularly pleasant partner,--that is, of course, unless one has the +coolness to turn out some one already on the list, which at that time I +certainly had not. + +But that night I preferred having fresh partners every dance. It was all +so new to me, and I wanted to see everything; and in this way I was less +engaged in interesting conversation, and was able to give more attention +to what was going on. + +It was a brilliant scene. The _élite_ of London society were there, and +very beautiful were many of the faces, and very exquisite the dresses. +Not one of them all through was more lovely than Ada, and almost every +one of my partners remarked to me how very lovely she was; indeed, she +made quite a sensation. + +The men I was not so much struck with. They were very +distinguished-looking and very gentlemanly and polished in +manner,--very, very different from what few young men there were at +Canterbury. But they had a languid air about them which impressed me +unpleasantly. They gave me the idea that they had gone out so much into +society that they had quite ceased to care for dancing, and that even +conversation was too much labour to be undertaken; and I knew it was bad +taste, but I certainly preferred as partners the officers I had met at +Canterbury to these languid young Guardsmen and scions of nobility. + +For myself, I could not understand how any one could help dancing with +spirit to that inspiring music; and the only drawback to my enjoyment +was that the rooms were so very full that one was dreadfully squeezed +and knocked about. However, on my venturing to remark to one of my +partners that the room was extremely full, I found that I knew nothing +about it, for he answered,-- + +"Dear me! Do you think so, now? Why, every one has been remarking to me +how pleasant it is that the rooms are not crowded." + +I found afterwards that my partner was right, and that I had shown my +ignorance; for, at some of the balls I went to afterwards, the crush was +so great that dancing was literally an impossibility. + +I felt very thankful I had been to the opera, for most of my partners, +on finding I was fresh from the country, asked that question, having, I +suppose, no other topic in common with me. Had I danced oftener than +once with some of them, no doubt my conversations would have been more +lively. As it was, with a few exceptions, they were not interesting. But +they all danced well, and that part I did enjoy most thoroughly. Most of +all I liked my dances with Percy, for he told me who every one was, and +did it really good naturedly, while some of my other partners, who had +done the same, had been as sarcastic and ill-natured about every one, as +if they thought that it must give me pleasure to hear other people run +down; whereas, when they were making depreciating remarks upon other +girls' dresses and manners, I could not but feel quite uncomfortable in +wondering what they would say about me presently. + +Percy managed to take me down to supper, carrying me off from my last +partner in a very dexterous manner; and, what was very nice, he managed +to get me a place next to Ada, who had been taken down by young Lord +Holmeskirk, a very pleasant young fellow in the Guards. Ada introduced +him to me at once, and he pleaded very hard for a dance after supper; I +told him that my card was full, but he urged it so much that I said at +last I would dance with him if he would manage it for me, but that I had +not the least idea how it was to be done. I may here say that he did so; +the second dance after supper, coming up to me as I was leaning on +Percy's arm, after my polka with him, and saying, in the quietest way, +"I believe I have the pleasure of this dance, Miss Ashleigh," he carried +me off immediately the music struck up, before my real partner, whoever +he was, could find me. Not being accustomed to this sort of thing, and +not having the least idea who it was I was engaged to, I felt quite +nervous and uncomfortable for the next dance or two, expecting that +every gentleman who came near me was on the point of reproaching me for +having broken my engagement to him. And, indeed, to the very end of my +stay in London, I could never bring myself, in spite of what Ada told me +about every one doing so, to turn off a partner in this way without +feeling that I was doing something very wrong. I dare say my conscience +would have been blunted in time, but as it was I never arrived at that +point. Lord Holmeskirk turned out the most pleasant partner of all I had +been introduced to, and I could chat with him with more freedom,--he was +so perfectly natural and unaffected. + +We were a very merry little group at supper; what I ate I have not the +slightest idea. Percy kept my plate constantly filled, but, with the +exception of strawberries and cream, I did not recognise a single thing +he gave me. Then we pulled crackers, and found the mottoes within them +of a singularly silly and unsatisfactory nature. + +At last we got up from supper, and went up to the drawing-room, and then +the gentlemen, at least those of them who were fortunate enough to find +seats, sat down; and when they once did so, I began to think they would +never come up again, they were such a terribly long time; and it seemed +such a waste to be sitting still doing nothing, with that splendid music +ready to go on again. While they were downstairs I was introduced to +several ladies, to whose houses I was going in the next few nights with +Lady Desborough and Ada. + +At last the gentlemen came up again, and we began to dance as if to make +up for lost time; for the dancing was certainly better than before +supper, and my partners more agreeable and chatty; besides, some of the +people had left, so that there was more room, and I enjoyed it +accordingly. I think every one else did the same, for there seemed to me +to be much more lively conversation and flirting going on than before +supper. + +I have said that I only danced once with each partner, but there was one +exception: this was Lord Bangley, a captain in the Guards. He was +introduced to me early in the evening, before my card was full, and he +begged so earnestly for two dances that I had no excuse for refusing +him; but of all the partners I had that evening, I disliked him +certainly the most. He was a handsome man, that I could not deny; but +that was all I could say for him. He was tall and very stiff--so stiff +that his head seemed set too far back--with a supercilious sneering +manner, a very harsh unpleasant voice, and an insufferable air of +arrogance and conceit. + +Ada told me next day that Lord Bangley had condescended to express to +her his great approval of my appearance and manner. I curtsied low when +Ada told me, but all that I could say was, "that the feeling was by no +means reciprocal." + +Presently the room began to thin in earnest, and there was a great noise +outside, in the intervals of the music, of shouting for carriages and +prancing of horses; and then, in a very short time, they were all gone, +and there remained in the great drawing-room only Lady Desborough, Ada, +Percy, and myself. + +"What do you think of your first ball?" Lady Desborough asked. + +"Oh, delightful!" we exclaimed simultaneously; "we could have gone on +dancing all night." + +"It has gone off very well indeed, and I am perfectly satisfied with +everything. But now let us go off to bed; we shall have plenty of time +to talk it all over in the morning." + +It was, however, very long before Ada and + +I went to bed. We took off our ball-dresses, let down our hair, put our +feet into slippers, and then sat by the fire in my room talking over the +evening, and our partners, and our impressions of everything. + +At last I said, "If we do not go to bed soon, Ada, we may as well give +up all idea of going at all. It is nearly six o'clock." + +Ada rose to go into her own room. + +"We have a good five hours to sleep yet. We shall not breakfast till +twelve. Good night, dear." + +After this memorable _entrée_ into society, we were out nearly every +night, until, before the end of a month, I had had quite enough of +parties and balls, and was really glad when we had a quiet evening to +ourselves. + +Sometimes, before going to the balls, we went to the opera, which, I +think, after a time I liked more than the parties. Percy always +accompanied us there, but he did not often go the balls, which I was +sorry for; I liked him so much as a partner, and I could talk with him, +so much more naturally and freely about every one there, than I could +with my other partners. + +For the first few nights I went out, Lord Bangley was very attentive to +me; but I disliked him so much that at last I always was engaged when he +asked me to dance; and, although he was very slow to see that any one +really could dislike dancing with so very exalted a person as himself, +he at last was forced to adopt that conclusion, and so gave up asking +me, which was a great relief to me, for his disagreeable manner quite +oppressed me. + +Ada, one morning at breakfast--at which meal, by the bye, Lady +Desborough never appeared--was laughing at me about him, when I said, +sharply, that I could not bear him, and that I had shown him so most +unmistakably. + +"I am glad to hear you say so, Agnes," Percy said; for by this time Ada +had pointed out to us the extreme absurdity of our being constantly +together for two months, and calling each other Miss Ashleigh and Mr. +Desborough all that time. So Percy, having obtained my willing consent, +took to calling me Agnes, while I don't think I called him anything; but +really Percy came almost naturally to my lips, for Ada had so often +spoken of him to me by that name. "I am very glad to hear you say so, +Agnes; Bangley is hated by his brother officers, and and is what I +should call, although an earl's son, a downright snob;--a snob, because +he is conceited about his advantages of person and position;--a snob, +because he is a narrow-minded, empty-headed coxcomb." + +"Well done, oh! most outspoken brother," Ada said. "Pray what offence +has poor Lord Bangley given you for all this outburst?" + +"No particular offence, Ada; but I can't bear the fellow." + +"Curious, now," Ada said, rather mischievously; "I never heard you say +anything against him before: your dislike must be of very recent +origin." + +"Recent or not recent," Percy said, dogmatically, "I can't bear him." + +After I had been three weeks in London, Lady Desborough asked me to stay +two months instead of one, as I had originally intended. She kindly said +that it was so very advantageous and pleasant for Ada having me with +her, and, indeed, pressed me so much that I saw she really wished it, +and on my part I was only too glad to prolong my stay. + +I was quite at home now in society, and knew nearly every one, and +enjoyed the conversation now as much, or more, than the dancing. Ada +told me one morning, when I had been there about five weeks, that I was +getting a perfect flirt--quite as bad as she was--indeed worse, because +quieter--and therefore much more dangerous. + +"There is Lord Holmeskirk, Agnes: he is quite assiduous in his +attentions to you. Now, Percy, you have certainly nothing to say against +him, for he is an exceedingly nice, unaffected fellow." + +"Holmeskirk," broke in Percy, "why, he is a mere boy!" + +"He is an officer in the Guards, Percy. He is, I grant you, two years +younger than your sapient self; still he is more than three years older +than Agnes. Don't mind what he says, my dear: you have my free consent +and approbation. I only wish it had been my magnificent self at whom he +had deigned to throw his handkerchief." + +"Nonsense, Ada. I do wish you would get out of the way of always talking +such ridiculous nonsense;" and Percy got up quite crossly, and went +straight out of the room. + +Ada lifted her eyes in comic amazement and penitence. + +"Dear me! to think of my having angered his royal highness! Did I say +anything very dreadful, Agnes? I do not remember his being so fierce +with me since I was twelve years old. One would think he had been +crossed in love. Eh, Agnes! what do you say to that?" she asked, with +rather a mischievous tone. + +"I am sure I do not know," I said, composedly. + +"Oh, you are sure you do not know! Well, let us see if we can guess. Not +long ago, when Lord Bangley was in question, he became furious against +him; now, he is enraged with me for recommending that nice little Lord +Holmeskirk. Put two and two together, my dear, and four is the undoubted +result." + +"What nonsense you are talking, Ada!" I said, colouring greatly. "Your +brother no more thinks anything about me than--than--" and I stopped for +a comparison. + +"Than you do about him," Ada suggested. + +"He thinks nothing of me," I said, ignoring her suggestion, "except as +an old school-fellow and friend; and I really am surprised, Ada, that +ever you should talk such nonsense." + +"Very well, my dear," Ada said, tranquilly; "then I will say no more +about it. I certainly thought I had an average amount of perception, and +could see as far into a brick wall as my neighbours; but it seems I +cannot. I know, now, that my brother, who never cared for music, and who +never went ten times to the opera in his life, only goes every night we +do because he has acquired a sudden taste for music. Still, in that +case, you will allow it is odd that he should sit so much behind your +chair, and talk to you all the time the music is going on. No doubt, +however, he is criticising the performance for your benefit; but, as he +never speaks loud enough for me to hear, of course I could not guess +that. Another thing too, is, to say the least of it, strange--Percy, +till you came, was at work all day in his room upon Sanscrit and +Hindostanee, and smoking so, that, in spite of the double doors which he +has on purpose, the upper part of the house used quite to smell of his +cigars, and I was always expecting mamma to complain about it. It is, +then, certainly strange that he should now find time to idle away all +his morning with us, and to ride out by the side of our carriage in the +Park of an afternoon. However, I dare say all this is because he has +finished his study of Eastern tongues, and is arrived at perfection in +them. How stupid I have been not to have thought of all this before!" +and here Ada went on sipping her coffee, as if quite convinced that she +had been altogether in error. + +Honestly, I was astonished. It had seemed so natural having Percy +always with us, so pleasant listening to his sensible conversation, +so different from the light flow of badinage we heard of an +evening--it seemed such a matter of course, to enjoy the little +quiet--well--flirtation at the opera, that, up to this moment, I can say +honestly that it had never seriously entered my head that Percy +Desborough cared for me. As, however, I thought over all our +conversation together, not so much what he had said as the way in which +he had said it, the conviction came over me that perhaps Ada was right +after all; and the colour came mounting up into my face, till I felt a +deep crimson even over my forehead. + +Ada was watching me, although she did not seem to be doing so; and +guessing, from what she could see of my face, that I had arrived at the +conclusion that it was as she said, she jumped up from her chair, and, +kneeling down by me in her old impulsive way, she put her arms round me, +and kissed my burning cheeks. + +"You dear, silly, blind Agnes! you know I am right, and that Percy loves +you." + +I was silent a little, and then I said-- + +"But are you sure of what you say, Ada?" + +"Quite sure, Agnes: he has not yet said as much to me, but I know it +just as well as if he had. Have I not seen the way he looks at you when +you are not noticing him? My dear child, I am quite sure about him. But +about you, Agnes, do you care for him?" + +"I never thought of him so, Ada--never once. I liked him very much +indeed, but it never entered my mind that he cared for me in that way; +so I never thought of it." + +"But now you know he does?" Ada persisted, kissing me coaxingly. + +"Ah, but I don't know yet, Ada; so you will get no answer from me on +that head. But, oh, Ada!" I exclaimed, suddenly. "What would Lady +Desborough say? Oh, I do hope it is not true! What would she say to +Percy falling in love with a country doctor's daughter?" + +Ada did not look at all alarmed. + +"My dear," she said, laughing, "I do not think you need trouble yourself +on that score. Country doctors' daughters, in general, are not heiresses +of twenty-five thousand pounds. Mamma is, no doubt, ambitious, and +expects that I shall make a great match; and had Percy been like other +people, and remained in the Guards, and stayed at home, I dare say she +would have thought nothing under a duke's daughter good enough for him. +As it is, all that is changed. She was very angry indeed with him about +it, but she has given it up now. Here he is in a regiment which in a +year or so will go on foreign service; he is mad enough to intend to go +with it, and where is he then? You may be quite sure of one thing, +Agnes. My mamma is a very excellent woman, but she knows far too much of +human nature not to have weighed in her mind, and accepted the +possibility of Percy's falling in love, before she invited a very pretty +girl like you to spend a month in the house at a time she knew Percy +would be at home on leave." + +I had no reply ready to this argument of Ada's, which I knew enough of +Lady Desborough to feel was true; so I kissed her, and told her that she +had talked quite nonsense enough for one morning, and that it was quite +time to get ready to go out. + +The last three weeks I spent in Eaton Square were perhaps more happy +than the previous time, but I don't think they were so pleasant; that +is, I did not feel so much at home. Before, I had been with Percy as I +might have been with a brother, or rather, perhaps, with a cousin; but +now, to feel in my heart--as I now did feel--that he looked at me in +quite another way, made me feel different, and at times a little awkward +with him. Before, if Ada left the room for any thing, I continued to +chat with Percy as unconcernedly as if she had been present; now, I made +some excuse to accompany her, or, if obliged to remain, rattled on about +anything that came uppermost, to prevent the conversation by any +possibility taking a serious turn. + +Ada told me one day that Percy had asked her the reason of my remaining +away so; but I told her she had no one to blame but herself, who had +made me uncomfortable by talking nonsense to me about him. + +"But he is very much in earnest, Agnes. He spoke to me last night, and +said he was only waiting for an opportunity of speaking to you. You +won't say 'no,' will you, Agnes darling?" + +She asked in her coaxing way, kissing me as she used to do at school +when she wanted me to do anything for her. + +I did not answer. I felt very very happy to know now for certain that he +loved me, still, I could not answer that question except to himself, +especially to Ada, who would be sure whatever she promised me, to tell +Percy. So I said at last, "There is no use, Ada, in his speaking to me +now at all. I would never accept him or any other man, even if I loved +him with all my heart, until my father had seen and liked him." + +"But how is Dr. Ashleigh to see Percy?" Ada asked, with a dismayed face. + +"Of course, Ada, it is not for me to make arrangements for your +brother," I said quietly; and then, after a pause, seeing her blank +dismay, I went on, "It is not for me to suggest, Ada; but as you have +promised to come down for a week to us, in another six weeks when the +season is over, on your way to Lady Dashwood's, I have no doubt that +papa would be very happy to see your brother if he should be happening +to accompany you." + +I was conscious that although I said this laughingly, I was blushing +crimson; but still I felt it was better so than that Percy should ask me +now, for I quite meant what I said about papa's consent; but I was by no +means sure of my own resolution if he asked me, which he was certain to +do if I did not somehow put it off. Ada looked me full in the face, she +saw that it would be as she wished, and she took me very gently in her +arms, and we kissed each other lovingly, as if in pledge of the nearer +relationship we were to bear. And then she made one more effort. + +"But could you not say 'yes,' now, Agnes, and refer him to your papa? It +would be the same thing, and put him out of his suspense." + +"No, Ada," I said positively; "it would not be the same thing at all. If +I said 'yes,' but which, mind, I have not said that I ever shall do, +papa would be sure to give his consent because he loves me. But before I +am engaged to any one, I should like papa to see him and like him first, +and then when he tells me he approves my choice, I shall know he really +means what he says." + +After this, I have no doubt Ada told him something of what I had said, +for from that time they ceased to try and contrive _tête-à-têtes_ +between us, and I saw that Percy was content to wait till the time I had +indicated. So I was much more comfortable with him. His leave expired, +and he went away three or four days before my visit ended. I took care +the last day or two not to be alone with him, for I confess I doubted my +own resolution as much as I did his. However, nothing was said till he +was going, and then as he was saying good-bye, he held my hand and said, +"Then I may hope to see you again in six weeks, Agnes?" and he looked so +earnestly at me, that my stupid colour would come rushing up. + +"Yes," I said, as steadily as I could, "papa will be very glad to see +you, if you should happen to be accompanying Ada." + +For a moment longer he held my hand, and it seemed to me that he drew me +a little towards him as if he were going to kiss me. If Ada had not been +in the room, I believe he would have done so; as it was, he lifted my +hand and pressed it to his lips, kissed Ada heartily, and was gone. + +The very last ball I went to before I left, a circumstance happened +which gave me great pain at the time. I was dancing with Lord +Holmeskirk, with whom, indeed, I danced more perhaps than with any one +else, and we were speaking of my leaving on the following day, and he +remarked almost seriously how much I should be missed, to which I +replied with laughing disbelief. After the dance was over we took our +seats on a sofa placed in a conservatory on the landing, half way up the +stairs, and which was otherwise unoccupied. It was quite surrounded by +flowers, so that although any one who came up-stairs could see us, still +no one could hear what we said. + +When we had sat down Lord Holmeskirk said, "So you do not think you will +be missed, Miss Ashleigh? Now I can assure you that at least by me your +absence will be keenly felt." And then without further introduction, he +made me an honest straightforward offer. + +I felt very surprised, and very very sorry, and told him so. I had +looked upon him as a very pleasant partner, and had liked him very much, +and I assured him that I had never for a moment imagined that he had +regarded me in any other light. + +"I don't suppose you love me now, Miss Ashleigh," he said earnestly. +"There is no reason in the world why you should; but don't you think you +could some day. Is it quite impossible that you may in time get to care +for me?" And the honest young nobleman looked so pleadingly up in my +face, that I could hardly restrain my tears. + +"Lord Holmeskirk," I said, "I am very sorry indeed for what you have +said to me. I am grieved that I should unwittingly have obtained the +love of a true heart such as yours is without being able to requite it. +It will be a matter of lasting regret to me. But it would be cruel +kindness to deceive you. I cannot encourage you even to hope. There are +many here far more fitted than I am to win your love, and whose rank +would render them far more suitable matches for you than I could be. +Your parents----" + +"I can assure you," he began, earnestly, "I have their consent; I have +already spoken to them." + +"I esteem you still more for having done so, Lord Holmeskirk, and I am +touched at their willingness to receive me; still, their consent must +have been the result rather of their affection for you, than their own +real approval of it." + +I saw at once in his open face that it was so, and that his parents' +consent had been reluctantly given. + +"It could not be otherwise," I said; "they naturally wish you to choose +one who, from her rank and connections, may strengthen your position, +however high that may be. And now, I can only say again how sorry I am +for the pain I have given you, but that it cannot be. I shall always +remember you with esteem and regard, and nothing will give me greater +pleasure than to hear you have made some happier choice." + +The young man saw that any further appeal would be hopeless, and the +tears stood in his honest grey eyes. + +"Thank you very much for your kindness, Miss Ashleigh, but, believe me, +I shall ever regard you----" "as a friend," I said, rising, and making a +movement to the staircase. He offered me his arm, and as we went up I +began chatting on indifferent subjects, as I did not wish any one to +even guess what had taken place. As we walked round the room, we passed +by where the countess, his mother, was sitting. I saw she looked at us +anxiously, and as her son caught her eye, he shook his head slightly in +answer to the question she asked, and I could see her eyes open, first +in astonishment, and then soften with a variety of emotions,--sorrow for +her son's disappointment,--pleasure that he was not going to make a +match which she could not have thought suitable. As we passed again, she +stopped us, and spoke a few words to me, for I had frequently spoken to +her before, and had liked her much, for she was a kind, motherly sort of +woman, though she was a countess. She said she heard this was my last +ball, and that she should quite miss my face amongst the dancers. + +"It is a fresh, happy face, my dear, and I hope it may continue so. +Good-bye; you have my best wishes;" and she shook hands with me very +kindly and affectionately, in a way which seemed to say a very great +many things which she could not well express. + +When I got back that evening, Ada, who had been rather silent on our way +home, came into my room, as she usually did, for a talk, and said, +"Agnes, I was going down the stairs to get an ice, and I saw you and +Lord Holmeskirk go into the conservatory together, and you were there +when I came up again, and I am quite sure by both your looks that he has +made you an offer. Well?" + +"What do you mean by _well_?" I asked, for I felt a little hurt that, +after what I had said to her about Percy, she should ever dream of the +possibility of my accepting any one else. + +"Of course I mean what did you answer? Don't keep me waiting, Agnes: you +don't know how anxious and impatient I have been to get home to ask +you." + +"After what I said to you about Percy, Ada," I said, rather coldly, "I +should have thought it hardly necessary to ask. Of course I refused +him." + +"There, you dear Agnes," Ada said, almost crying on my neck, "don't be +angry with me; but I have been so nervous, though I knew you would say +'no.' Still, it must require so much courage to refuse a nobleman; I +know I never could;" and so she went on till she coaxed me into a good +humour again, and we talked a long time before we went to bed. And so my +gaieties ended, and next morning, bidding adieu to Ada and Lady +Desborough, who was very gracious, and even kissed me, I started for +Canterbury, under charge of a lady who was going down, and whom I met by +arrangement on the platform of the station. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +SUNSHINE AND SHADOW. + + +Although I had enjoyed my trip to London immensely, yet I was very, very +glad to get back to my dear old home again; happier even than before, +for now, in addition to all my former home-pleasures, I had a secret +source of happiness to muse over when alone. How bright life appeared to +me, how thankful I felt for all my deep happiness, and how my heart +seemed to open to all created things! + +I had only one cause for sorrow, and that one which had for years been +seen as a dim shadow in the far distance, but which had been for the +last two or three years past increasing in magnitude, growing from vague +ill-defined dread, to the sad certainty of coming grief. I mean the +rapidly failing health of mamma. + +From my farthest back remembrance of her she had never been strong. Not, +perhaps, suffering from any decided pain or illness, but weak and +languid, and unequal to any unusual exertion. For years the great part +of her time had been spent on the sofa, but during the last few months +she had been unmistakably failing; on my return home after my visit in +London I found that there was a marked change in her appearance, and +that she had grown decidedly thinner and weaker in that short time. + +Papa, I could see, was very anxious about her; he was a good deal more +at home now, and spent as much time as he could spare in the room with +her, bringing his books in there, and sitting to study where she could +see his face, and so close that she could exchange a few words with him +occasionally without having to raise her voice. Ill as mamma was, I +think she was never so happy in her married life as she was at that +time. She now no longer troubled herself with domestic arrangements, but +left all that to me, and was content to lie, holding a book in her +wasted hands, and looking fondly across at her husband at his reading. +When papa was there she liked, I think, best being alone with him and +her thoughts; but when he was out, I used to take my work and sit beside +her, and talk when she felt inclined, which was not often. Indeed, I had +only one long conversation with her, which was about a month after I +came back. + +She had been lying very quiet one day, not speaking at all, but watching +me while I worked, when she said: + +"You have told us all about your trip to London, Agnes, and about your +gaieties and amusements; but I do not think you have told all. As you +sit there I can see sometimes the colour come up over your face, and +your lips part a little, and your eyes soften, while your fingers lie +idle on your work. Have you not some pleasant thoughts, dearest--some +sweet hope for the future which you have not yet spoken of? Tell me, +darling. I have not much longer to be with you, and it would make my +last time more happy to be able to think of your future as somewhat +secured, and to picture you to myself as mistress of some happy home. Am +I right, my child? Have you some such hope?" + +Kneeling down beside her, when my tears suffered me to speak, I told her +all that had passed between me and Percy, and that, although not yet +actually engaged, we should be when he came down, if papa and she +approved of him; and I explained to her the reason why I had not at once +told them about it was, that I wished them to see him with unbiased eyes +first of all, and to like him for his own sake, before they did for +mine. Mamma asked me several questions about Percy's dispositions and +habits, which I answered as minutely and fairly as I could; when I had +done she said: + +"I think from what you say, my darling, he will make you very happy, and +I shall be able to trust you to him. I shall look forward to seeing him. +I am very glad you have told me, my child; I shall have pleasant +thoughts of the future now, in addition to all my happy memories of the +past." + +From this time mamma grew fonder than ever of having me with her, and +would watch me as she watched papa. She liked me best to sit on a low +stool beside her, so close that without exertion she could softly stroke +my hair, and let her poor thin hand rest on my head. I did not go out +anywhere, except over to Sturry. There I went as often as I could; for I +liked Sophy, and loved Mr. Harmer, as indeed I had good reason to do. +About him papa was very uneasy; he had had a rather severe stroke of +paralysis when I was away in London, and, although he had greatly +recovered from it, he still felt its effects, and papa said that he must +be kept very quiet, for that any excitement might bring on another and +fatal attack. + +The first time I went over to see Mr. Harmer, I was quite shocked at the +change which had taken place since I had last seen him, little more than +two months before. He rose to meet me when I went into the library where +he was sitting, with quite his old smile of welcome, and I did not so +much notice the change till he was fairly on his feet. Then indeed I saw +how great it was. His old free, erect bearing was gone, and he stood +upright with difficulty, and when he tried to walk, it was in a stiff +and jointless sort of way, very painful to see. But the greatest +alteration was in his voice; formerly he spoke in such a frank, hearty, +joyous way, and now each word seemed to come out slowly and with +difficulty. Although papa had warned me that I should see a great change +in him, I had no idea of such a terrible alteration as this, and it was +so great a shock to me, that I could not help breaking down and crying. + +"You must not do that," Mr. Harmer said, placing me in a chair at one +side of him, while Sophy, who had gone in with me, sat on the other, and +he took my hand in his own, and held it there the whole time I was with +him. "You must not cry, Agnes; I am getting an old man, and could not, +in the ordinary course of nature, have expected to have lived many years +more. I have led a very happy life, and have innumerable blessings to be +thankful for; not the least, although that may seem selfish on my part, +that there are some who care for me in my age, and who will be sorry +when I am taken away. There, my dear, dry your eyes, and give me a full +description of all your gaieties in London." + +I told him all about what I had been doing, where I had gone, and +everything I could think of likely to amuse him, and was still in the +middle of my story when Miss Harmer came in. + +"I am very sorry to have to disturb you Miss Ashleigh," she said, after +shaking hands with me, "for I know how much my brother enjoys a talk +with you; but your papa's orders were so very strict, that on no account +should he be allowed to talk for long at a time, that I really must put +a stop to your conversation." + +I had not seen Miss Harmer for some time, for she and her sister had +been away on the Continent for two years previously, and had returned +only on receipt of the news of their brother's illness. + +When Miss Harmer spoke, I got up at once to leave, feeling a little +ashamed of my own thoughtlessness, for papa had particularly warned me +before I started, not to talk long; but I had quite forgotten his +injunction, in the pleasure Mr. Harmer had evidently felt in listening +to me. + +"You see, my dear," he said, "I must do as I am told now; but you will +come again soon to see me, will you not?" + +I promised to come as soon as I could, and from that time whenever mamma +could spare me, I went over for half an hour's chat with Mr. Harmer, +very often at first, but as he got better, and mamma became weaker, of +course my visits became very much less frequent. + +During my visits at this time, I was a good deal puzzled about Sophy. +There was something in her manner, which I could not at all understand. +She was evidently extremely attached to her grandfather, and was +unwearied in her constant attention to him; and yet at times it appeared +to me that her thoughts were far off from what was passing before her, +and that after one of these fits of abstraction she would rouse herself +with almost a start, and then glance furtively at Mr. Harmer, as if +afraid that he had noticed it. When he praised her too, which he often +did to me, for her care and kindness to him, I fancied that she almost +shrank from his praise in a sort of pained way, as if she felt that his +commendation was undeserved. I daresay at any other time I might have +thought a great deal about this; but as it was I had so much to occupy +me. What with my mother's almost daily increasing weakness; what with +the rapidly approaching visit of Ada and Percy; what with my own grief +and my own happiness, I had no thoughts to give to Sophy. Perhaps on my +walk home from Sturry, I wondered and puzzled as to her conduct; but +once past my own doors, all thought of her and her mysterious ways, were +laid aside till I started for my next visit to Harmer Place. + +I have not mentioned that after I had told mamma about Percy, I suppose +she must have hinted something to papa; at any rate he wrote to Percy, +saying that hearing from his daughter that he proposed accompanying his +sister Ada on a visit to Lady Dashwood's, he should be very glad if, +like her, Percy would take Canterbury on his way, and stay for a week +with us. Percy answered the letter in the affirmative. Papa's eyes +rather twinkled with amusement as he one day at breakfast told me in a +casual sort of way that he had written to Mr. Desborough, asking him to +stay with us while his sister did, and that he had heard that morning +that his invitation was accepted. + +I know I tried to look unconscious, but finally had to go round the +table and rumple papa's hair all over, and tell him that he was a dear +old goose. + +It was about two months after my return from London that I received a +letter from Ada, saying that her brother had obtained leave of absence +again, and that the season was now quite over, and London dreadfully +hot; that she longed to be out of it and in the country again, and that +if convenient she would come on that day week, and that Percy would +accompany her. I had been expecting this news for some time, still, now +that it had come--now that I knew for certain that in another week Percy +would be with me--it was very difficult to realize, and very hard, +indeed, to go about looking tranquil and unconcerned under sister +Polly's watchful eye and sly remarks. Polly was now at home for the +holidays, and during the week I many times wished her back at school +again, for she was really a serious plague to me. She had somehow +guessed, or fancied she guessed, the state of things between Percy and +me, and she was constantly making remarks about their coming visit, and +then slyly watching me to see the colour which would, on the mention of +his name, mount up into my cheeks. I had, as a girl, a dreadful habit of +blushing, which, do what I would, I could not break myself of. It was +very tiresome, and I would have given anything to have cured myself of +the trick. + +So now, what with Polly's mischievous hints and my ridiculous habit of +blushing, I was made quite uncomfortable for that week. At last I had to +tell her she was annoying me very much, and that if she did it when they +came down I should be seriously angry with her. When she saw I was quite +in earnest, she pretended to be very penitent, although I am sure she +was only amused; however, she gave it up as much as she could for the +time. + +At last the day came for them to arrive, and I went down to the train to +meet them with papa and Polly. I proposed this myself, as it was much +less embarrassing to meet in all that bustle and confusion than in the +quiet of our hall. + +Presently the train came up, and I saw Ada's face at the window. We were +soon at the door and helped her out. When I had kissed her I shook hands +with Percy and introduced him to papa, and they went off together to +look after the luggage, leaving us three girls talking on the platform. +Altogether it had been much less embarrassing than I had feared. Papa +ordered a man to take the boxes round to our house, and we started to +walk, retaining the same order; we girls together in front, and papa and +Percy behind. So down Westgate, across the bridge over the Stour, and +under the noble old gate, which, so many centuries back, frowned down +upon the haughty priest à Becket, as he passed under it upon that last +journey to Canterbury from which he returned alive no more. It was an +old gateway then, but still capable of a sturdy defence against the +weapons of the time; for on either side the city walls stretched away, +lofty and strong. Now, at this point they are gone, and the old gateway +stands isolated and alone; but it is still strong and well preserved, +and looks as if, unless disturbed by the hand of man, it could bid +defiance to the action of time for many a century yet to come. Under +this we walked, and then down the High Street, with its quaint, +high-gabled, overhanging houses, and up the narrow lane which led to our +house. After we had lunched, we went up into the drawing-room, to mamma, +who was very pleased to see Ada again, with her bright face and happy +laugh,--for I did not mention in its proper place that Ada had spent one +of her Christmas holidays with us. Mamma looked very earnestly at Percy, +as if she could read his character at a glance, and listened very +attentively to all he said. As we went out of the room--which we did in +about a quarter of an hour, for mamma could not bear so many in the room +for long together--she kissed me, as I lingered behind the others, and +pressed my hand lovingly, and I could see she was quite satisfied. + +I did not see much of Percy for the next two days, at which I was very +glad, for I could not help feeling a little awkward; and although I +endeavoured to soothe my conscience by telling myself that had I not put +him off he would have proposed to me when I was staying in London, yet I +could not help feeling that somehow I had invited him down here on +purpose for him to ask me to be his wife. For these two days he was as +much as he could be with papa, accompanying him in his drives and rides, +and I could see by papa's manner that he really liked him very much. To +me he was very nice, not at all showing me any marked attention so as to +be perceptible to any one else; and yet I could feel there was something +different in his tone of voice and manner when he addressed me to what +he used when he spoke to others. Ada and I found lots to talk about when +we were alone; for although she had written very often, and given me +very full accounts, still there was an immense deal to tell me about all +the different balls she had been to since, and what engagements had been +made during the season; I found, too, although this was a subject Ada +was very chary of speaking of, that she herself had refused one very +good offer, and that she was rather under the ban of her lady-mother's +displeasure in consequence. "She consoles herself, however," Ada said, +"with the conclusion, that there are even better matches to be made than +the one I refused, and that I must have set my mind on being a duchess; +for that any idea of love is necessary for a marriage, is a matter which +never entered her mind." Ada was a little bitter upon the subject, and I +was sorry to see she was likely to have disputes with her mother upon +the point; for there was no doubt that Lady Desborough was a very +worldly woman, and I was quite sure that Ada, although at times +thoughtless and fond of admiration, would never marry any one, however +high his rank, to whom she had not given her heart. + +The third morning of their visit I was up early, and went for my usual +little stroll in the garden before breakfast. I had not been there many +minutes before Percy joined me, and when we went in together we were +engaged. I do not tell how it came about, what he said, or how I +answered him. There is very little in the words thus spoken to interest +others, although so unutterably sweet to listen to. To me there is +something almost sacred in the thought of that time; far too sacred to +be told to any one; and even now, eight years after, my cheeks flush, my +eyes fill with tears, and my fingers quiver at the thought of those few +words, and of the kiss by which our engagement was sealed. Oh Percy, +Percy, could we but have seen the future then! But, perhaps, better +not--better, certainly, for I have at least the pleasure left me of +looking back upon that short space of intense happiness--a memory which +is all my own, and which nothing can take away from me. I do not know +how I made breakfast that morning--I am sure I must have made all sorts +of blunders; but Ada, who at once saw what had happened, and Polly, who +I think guessed, chattered away so incessantly, that I was not obliged +to take any part in the conversation. Ada afterwards told me that in the +first cup of tea I gave her no milk, and that she saw me put no less +than eight pieces of sugar into the second. I only hope the others were +better, but I have serious doubts on the subject. After breakfast was +over, papa went into the study, and Percy at once followed him in there. +As soon as the door closed upon them, Ada came round, and kissed me very +warmly and lovingly; and Polly, as soon as she saw by our manner that +her suspicions were correct, and that Percy and I were engaged, first +nearly suffocated me with the violence of her embraces, and then +performed a wild and triumphant _pas seul_ round the breakfast-table, in +a manner directly opposed to the injunction and teaching of the Misses +Pilgrim and "Grendon House." Altogether she was quite wild, and I had +the greatest difficulty in sobering her down, especially as Ada was +rather inclined to abet her in her folly. + +I shall pass very briefly over the remaining ten days that Percy and Ada +stayed with us, for indeed that happy time is more than even now I can +write about calmly. Papa's and mamma's consent was warmly given, and +they were very much pleased with Percy. The only drawback to papa's +satisfaction at the match, was the fact of Percy being in the army, and +the thought of my going abroad. Percy, indeed, offered to leave the +service, but this I would not hear of. I knew how much he was attached +to his profession, and I had no objection to the thought of going +abroad; and my money, with his pay and allowance from his mother, would +enable us to live in luxury in any part of the world. + +Two days after our engagement took place I received a very nice letter +from Lady Desborough, saying how pleased she was to hear of Percy's +choice, and its success. She said a good many kind and complimentary +things, to which I did not, even at the time, attach much importance, +for I knew well that it was only the fact of her son choosing, greatly +against her wishes, an active military life, which made her regard with +approval his engagement with myself. However, I did not fret seriously +about that; she gave her consent, and that was all that was required, +while I had the hearty approval of my own dear parents in my choice. I +believed Percy loved me with all his heart, and I certainly did him with +all mine. So the time they stopped with us went over very happily and +quickly. Nothing was said before they went away about our marriage; +indeed, mamma was so very ill, that it was a question which could not be +discussed, as of course I could not have left her in the state she was +in, and how long she might remain as she was no one could tell. + +However, it was willed that her stay with us should be even more brief +than our worst fears had whispered. Percy and Ada had not left us much +more than a month, when papa said at breakfast one morning: "Agnes, I +wrote yesterday to Harry to come home; write to-day to Miss Pilgrim, +asking her to send Polly home to-morrow." It did not need for me to look +in his face; the quiver of his voice told me his meaning: they were to +come home to see mamma before she died. What a dreadful shock it was. I +had long known mamma must leave us soon, but she had so long been ill, +and she changed so gradually, that, until papa spoke that morning, I had +never realized that her time was so near at hand. Yet, when I recovered +from that terrible fit of crying, I remembered how I could count back +from week to week, and see how the change, gradual as it seemed, had yet +been strongly marked, and that the last two months had wrought terrible +havoc with her little remaining strength. + +At the beginning of that time she had been up nearly all day, lying on +the sofa. As time went on, she got up later and went to bed earlier; at +the end of the month, papa had taken to carrying her in, and now, for +the last ten days, her visits to the drawing-room had ceased altogether. +She was wonderfully calm and patient, and through all those long months +of illness, I never heard a murmur or word of complaint pass her lips. + +Polly arrived the day after I wrote, and was, poor child, in a dreadful +state of grief. Harry came the day after: to him the shock was greater +than to any of us. He had not seen her fading gradually away as we had, +and although from our letters, he knew how ill she was, he had never +until he came back completely realized it. + +I pass over the week which mamma lived after Harry's return, as also the +week after her death. These solemn griefs are too sacred to be +described. Do we not all know them? For are not these great scenes +common to every one? Have we not all of us lost our darlings, our loves? +Is there not an empty chair in every household; a place in every heart +where one lives who is no longer seen on earth; a secret shrine whence, +in the dead of the night, the well-known figure steps gently out, and +communes with us over happy times that are gone, and bids us hope and +wait for that happier meeting to come, after which there will be no more +parting and tears? + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +LAYING A TRAIN. + + +It was not for three weeks after mamma's death that I again saw Mr. +Harmer, and then he came over in his carriage to say good-bye to me, as +he would not see me again for some little time, for I was going away for +a month with papa to Ramsgate for a change. + +In truth we both needed it. I was pale and nervous; all the scenes and +emotions of the last three months had shaken me very much, and I think +that had I not gone to the sea-side I should have had a serious illness +of some sort. Papa, too, looked ill and worn. He had felt mamma's loss +very much; and, indeed, the long watching and the constant noting the +signs of her rapid decay, all so clear to his medical eye, must have +been a terrible trial. + +The house, too, was now so dreadfully lonely and dull that I became +quite affected by it, and began to feel my old childish terrors of the +dark passages, and the midnight sounds of the old house grew upon me +again: in fact, I became sadly nervous and out of sorts, and a change +was absolutely necessary. + +Harry had gone back to his work in the North, and Polly to Grendon +House, so papa and I had only ourselves and each other to think of. + +When Mr. Harmer called, I found him very much better than when I had +seen him last. His difficulty of utterance had quite passed off, and he +was able to walk again nearly as firmly and freely as he had before. He +was very kind to me, as, indeed, he always was; and sympathized with me +so gently and feelingly upon the great loss I had sustained, that he +soothed rather than opened the recent wounds. Altogether, his visit did +me good; and I was very glad to find him so much better than I had +expected, for, although papa had told me that he was getting round +wonderfully, and was likely, unless he had another seizure, to live for +many years, I had not hoped to see him as well as he was. He did not at +all mind papa's going away, for he had promised to come up twice a week +from Ramsgate to see him, and he could be telegraphed for at any moment +should anything occur to render such a step necessary. + +So papa and I went down to Ramsgate for a month, and a very great deal +of good it did us. The fresh air and sea-bathing soon cured my +nervousness, and the change of scene and the variety and life of the +place--so different from the quiet sleepiness of Canterbury--gradually +softened the bitterness of my grief; while nearly every day I had +letters from Percy--long, loving letters, very cheering and dear to +me--painting our future life together, and making me feel very happy; so +happy, that I sometimes blamed myself for feeling so, so soon after my +dear mother's death. It was a tranquil, quiet life, and I rapidly +recovered my health and strength again. I had no acquaintances down +there, for Ramsgate is too near to Canterbury for the people from there +to visit it. Besides, Canterbury is a great deal too genteel to +patronize so exceedingly vulgar a place as Ramsgate. I had a chatting +acquaintance with several of the boatmen, and papa was very fond of +sitting of an evening at the end of the pier, on the great stone posts +to which the steamers are fastened, and talking to the fishermen of the +wrecks they had known on those terrible Goodwins, and of the vessels +which had been lost in trying to make the entrance to the Harbour. I +also struck up a great acquaintance with the old bathing-woman--not, +certainly, from any use that she was to me, for I would never let her +take me by the hands and plunge me under water as I saw some girls do, +but I used to talk to her of an evening when her work was done, and she +was hanging up the towels to dry. She was a very worthy old body, and +not so frightfully ugly as she looked in her bathing-costume, with her +draggled clothes and weather-beaten bonnet, but was a quiet +respectable-looking old woman. She had been a bathing-woman there for +years and years; and had, I have no doubt, saved up a snug little sum of +money. She told me that she had a married daughter who lived near +London, and who had a very nice cottage down at Putney, and who let part +of it to lodgers; and she hoped that if I were ever going near London, I +would patronize her. I told her that there was not the remotest +probability of such a thing; but she suggested that I might know some +one who might one day go, and, accordingly, to please her, I took the +address down in my pocket-book, but certainly without the remotest idea +that it would ever turn out of the slightest use to me. + +Papa, on his return from his visits to Canterbury twice a week, always +brought back some fresh topics for conversation. He was at all times +fond of talking over his day's visits, and told me so much about his +patients that I grew quite interested in his accounts of the improvement +or otherwise of those who were seriously ill, and was pleased or sorry +as his report of their state was good or the reverse. This had always +been papa's habit, partly because he felt so much interested in his work +that his patients were constantly in his thoughts, and partly because +when we were at home he always had soups, jellies, and other +strengthening food made for those among his poorer patients as required +such treatment. + +One evening when papa came back, he looked vexed and thoughtful; +however, I asked no questions for I knew that if he thought right he +would tell me presently what it was. When we had finished our dinner we +strolled out on to the esplanade in front of our house. He lit his +cigar, and we leant on the rail and looked down upon the shipping in the +harbour, in the gathering twilight, and at the light on the Goodwin +which was as yet but just visible. For some time papa did not speak; at +last he took his cigar out of his mouth, and said, "I am vexed, Agnes; +or rather troubled. I will tell you why: you are a discreet little woman +now, and so I can trust you with what I have seen." + +He again paused, and took two or three quick puffs at his cigar, as if +in angry thought of how he should begin, and then went on. + +"There lives near Canterbury, Agnes, a lazy, bad, dissolute man, named +Robert Gregory. I do not suppose you have noticed him, although you may +have possibly met him casually. He is, as I have said, a bad man, and +bears a character of the worst description. Some eight or ten years +since, when he was a very young man, he went up to London, and by his +extravagance and bad habits there, he ruined the old man, his father, +and brought him prenaturely to the grave. + +"This man, Agnes, is good-looking, and yet with a bad face. It is rather +coarse perhaps, more so than it was ten years since when I first saw +him, for that sort of face, when it once begins to go off, loses its +beauty rapidly; still, I allow, much as I object to the man, that he is +handsome. It is just the sort of face likely to attract a young girl who +is new to the world. A face apparently frank and good-natured, and yet +with something--imperious and even defiant about it; very taking to the +young, who cannot help feeling flattered by seeing that the man, who +looks as if he neither cared for nor feared any other living thing, +should yet bow to them; that the fierce eye should soften, and the loud +voice become gentle when he addresses them. Altogether a dangerous man +for a young girl to know, a very dangerous one for her to love. To a man +like myself, accustomed from habit and profession to study character, he +is peculiarly repulsive. His face to me is all bad. The man is not only +a blackguard, and a handsome blackguard, but he is a clever and +determined one; his face is marked with lines of profligacy and +drunkenness, and there is a passionate, dangerous flash about his eye. +He has, too, seen the world, although only a bad side of it; but he can, +when he chooses, lay aside his roughness and rampant blackguardism, and +assume a tolerably gentlemanly, quiet demeanour, which would very well +pass muster with an inexperienced girl. In short, my dear, if I were +asked to select the man of all others, of those with whom I am +acquainted, whom I would least rather meet in any society where my +daughter, or any young girl might see him, I should unhesitatingly +say--Robert Gregory. Fortunately for society here, the man, by his +well-known drunken and bad character, has placed himself beyond its +pale, and so he can do it no great harm. It was only the last time that +I was in Canterbury that I heard, and I acknowledge that I heard with +great pleasure, that Robert Gregory was so deeply in debt that writs +were out against him; and that unless he went away he would in a short +time be consigned to a debtor's prison, so that Canterbury, at any rate +for some time, might hope to be free of him. Well, my dear, I daresay +you are wondering what all this long story about a person of whom you +know nothing can be going to end in, but you will see that it is all +very much to the point. To-day I was rather earlier than usual in my +visit to Mr. Harmer. I was driving fast, and as I turned the corner of +the road where the plantation in Mr. Harmer's ground begins, I saw a man +getting over the hedge into the road. Probably the noise he was making +breaking through the twigs, together with the turn of the road, +prevented his seeing or hearing the gig until he was fairly over; for as +he jumped into the road and looked round I was not twenty yards off, and +could hear him swear a deep oath, as he pulled his hat down over his +eyes, and turned his back to me as I drove past to prevent my seeing his +face; but it was too late, for I had recognized Robert Gregory. Of +course I said nothing; but as I drove up to the house, looking over the +grounds, I saw Sophy Needham coming up through the trees from the very +direction from which I had seen him come out. She was at some distance +off, and I was almost at the door, so I could not have stopped to speak +to her without being noticed, even had I wished it. She did not come +into the room while I was there, so that I had no opportunity of +questioning her about it, even had I made up my mind to do so; indeed it +was so delicate a matter that I could not have spoken to her without +previous reflection. + +"Altogether the affair has a very curious and ugly look. It could hardly +be a mere coincidence, that he should be getting over the hedge from the +plantation--where he could have no possible reason for going except to +see her--at the very time of her coming away from that part of the +grounds. It looks very like a secret meeting, but how such a thing could +have been brought about is more than I can imagine. But if it is so, it +is a dreadful business." + +We were both silent for some time, and then I said,-- + +"Do you know, papa, I remember meeting the man you speak of at the fête +at Mr. Harmer's last year." + +"Now you mention it, Agnes, I recollect that he was there. I wondered at +the time at his being invited, but I supposed Mr. Harmer had known his +father as a respectable man, and had asked the son, knowing nothing of +his character, or the disrepute in which he was held. I did not notice +him much, nor did I see him dance with Sophy; had I done so I should +have warned Mr. Harmer of his real character." + +"He did not dance with her, papa," I said, rather timidly, for I was +frightened at the thought of what dreadful mischief had resulted, which +might have been averted had I spoken of the matter at the time. "He did +not dance with her, but he had some sort of secret understanding with +her; at least I thought so;" and I then told him all I had observed that +evening at the fête. "I should have mentioned it at the time, papa, for +it perplexed me a good deal, but I went back to school next day, and +never thought of it from that day to this." + +"Do you know, Agnes," papa said, throwing away his cigar, and taking +three or four turns up and down in extreme perplexity, "this is very +serious; I am quite frightened to think of it. What on earth is to be +done?" and papa took off his hat and rubbed his hair back from his +forehead. "How very unfortunate that you did not speak of what you +noticed at the time. I am not blaming you; going off to school, as you +say, of course put it out of your head; besides, you did not know the +man as I do, and could not guess what terrible results might be growing +out of what you saw; you could not, as a mere girl, tell how bad it is +for a young woman to have a secret understanding of that sort with any +man--how fatal, when with such a man as Robert Gregory. + +"Had I known it at that time, I might have done something to put a stop +to it. It would, in any case, have been a delicate matter to have +interfered in, merely on the grounds of what you noticed, and which +Sophy would, of course, have disputed; still I might have warned Mr. +Harmer against allowing such a man to enter his doors, and I would have +spoken when Sophy was present, and said how bad his character was, so as +to have opened her eyes to the real nature of the man. It might have +done no good. A girl is very slow to believe anything against a man she +loves. Still it would have been something; and had there been any +opportunity, I could have related some stories about him, which I knew +to be true, which must have convinced her that he was a thorough +blackguard. + +"It might have been quite ineffectual; still it might possibly have done +good. But now--really, Agnes," he said, stopping short, "I don't know +what to do: it is a dreadful affair. There, don't distress yourself, my +child"--for I was crying now--"matters may not be as bad as we fancy, +although I confess that I do not see any possible interpretation which +can put the affair in a better light. The only question is, what is to +be done? + +"To begin with, we are, you see, placed in a peculiarly delicate +position in respect to Sophy. In case of any scandal being discovered +through our means, and Mr. Harmer altering his will in consequence, you +might benefit from it, and it would place my conduct and motive for +interfering in a very false and unpleasant light. In the next place, in +Mr. Harmer's present state of health, the agitation such a disclosure +would produce, would not improbably--indeed, would be very likely +to--bring on another paralytic fit, and cost him his life. The only +thing I can at present think of is to appeal to Sophy herself. + +"I fear that would hardly be successful, as the secret understanding +between them must have gone on for more than a year, to our knowledge, +and we dare not even think in what relation they may now stand to each +other. Still it must be tried. Should that fail, as I feel it is quite +certain to do, an appeal must be made to him. He may be bought off. Of +course, with him it is a mere question of time. If he waits till Mr. +Harmer's death, which may not occur for years yet, Sophy is sure to be a +wealthy heiress; if he marries her before that, Mr. Harmer will +infallibly alter his will. He would, no doubt, still leave her +something, for he loves her too much to leave her a beggar even in a +moment of anger. + +"So you see it is quite a matter of calculation. Robert Gregory has +waited until now, but he must be getting desperate. This writ, of which +I spoke, may induce him to come to some sudden decision--no one can say +what. It is altogether a very bad business, and a difficult matter for +any one, far more for myself, to meddle in. However, something must be +done: that much is certain. To-day is Wednesday. I had not intended to +go into Canterbury again till Saturday, but now I shall go on Friday. So +we shall have to-morrow to talk over what is the best thing to be done, +and how I am to set about it. It is getting late, Agnes: it is time to +be going in." + +I shall never forget that evening, as we turned and strolled along the +edge of the cliffs towards home. I thought I had never seen such a +beautiful night. The tide was high, and the sea was very calm, and +hardly moved under the warm autumnal breeze, but broke on the beach far +below our feet with a gentle plash. Out at sea the lights on the Goodwin +shone clear and bright; while far away to the right, looking like a star +near the horizon, we could plainly see the Deal light. Below us lay the +harbour, with its dark shipping, and its bright lamps reflected in the +still waters within it. Sometimes, from the sea, came up faint snatches +of songs from parties in boats enjoying the lovely evening. + +Above it was most beautiful of all. The sky was a very deep blue, and I +do not think I ever saw so many stars as were visible that lovely +September night. The heavens seemed spangled with them, and they shone +out clear and bright, with none of the restless, unquiet twinkle they +usually have, but still and tranquil, seeming--as they never do seem +except on such nights as this--to hang suspended from the deep blue +above them. The moon was up, but it was only a thin crescent, and was +lovely in itself without outshining the glory of the stars. It was a +glorious night, and, absorbed as we were with our own thoughts, and +troubled by what had occurred, we could not help feeling soothed and +elevated by the wondrous beauty of the scene we looked upon. + +Had papa known all that had passed at that interview between Sophy +Needham and Robert Gregory, he would not have ridden out to Ramsgate +with his news, but would have acted upon it there and then, and perhaps +I should never have written this story; or, if I had done so, it would +have been very different to what it is. + +Long afterwards I learnt the history of that interview, and of many +others which had gone before it; and so I shall again have the pleasure +of dropping that first personal pronoun of which I am so tired, and of +relating the story as it was told to me. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +THE EXPLOSION. + + +There are some boys so naturally passionate and vicious, in whose +dispositions the evil so strongly predominates over the good, that we +are obliged to own that under no conceivable course of training could +they have turned out otherwise than bad. Some faults might have been +checked by early firmness, some vices eradicated by judicious kindness +and care, yet nothing could ever have altered the radical nature; +nothing could ever have made a fair, straight tree out of that crooked +and distorted sapling. Such a character was that of Robert Gregory, and +in his case there was no countervailing force, either of judicious +kindness or of proper severity, to check the strong tendency to evil in +his disposition. His mother had died when he was an infant, and his +father--who had married late in life, and who had no other +children,--indulged his every whim, and neither thwarted him in any +desire, nor punished him for any fault; and so he grew up an idle, +passionate, turbulent boy, pursuing his own way, and laughing to scorn +the entreaties and prayers of his weak father. As time went on, his +character developed; he chose his companions from the wildest and least +reputable youths of the neighbourhood, and soon became even wilder and +less reputable than the worst of them. He at length led such a life, +that his father was only too glad when he expressed a desire to go up to +London, in hopes that there, with other companions and habits, he might +yet retrieve himself. Robert Gregory was not all bad, he had his good +points, and with other training might have turned out, if not a good +man, at any rate not the character that Dr. Ashleigh had described. He +was good-natured and even generous--by fits and starts certainly--but +still enough so to make those who knew him as a boy, before he had got +entirely beyond all control, regret that his father, by his weakness and +injudicious kindness, was allowing him to grow up a curse to himself and +a nuisance to the whole neighbourhood. Any hopes his father may have +entertained of his reformation from the influence of a life in London, +were destined to be very shortly extinguished. He wrote at first flaming +accounts of the grand friends he was making, but lamenting their +expensive way of living, and begging more money to enable him to do as +they did. For months, for years, the letters came regularly, and always +demanding money, sometimes very large sums. Some of these letters were +accompanied by plausible tales that he wished to oblige his great +friends, through whom he shortly expected to obtain a lucrative +appointment. At other times he told the truth--various losses on the +turf, or heavy gambling debts which must, he said, be paid, or his +honour would be irretrievably lost. The old man patiently answered these +constant demands upon him, and paid without a complaint the large sums +required. He truly, although weakly, loved this reprobate son of his: he +knew that no remonstrances could now avail: he feared so to alienate the +liking which his son still felt for him by remonstrances which would +irritate, without reforming him, and so he continued to pay, and pay. +"The boy can have it but once," he said to himself; "as well now as at +my death; there will be enough to last my time." But there hardly was. +After Robert had been six years in London, during which he had only paid +three or four flying visits to his native place, he received a letter +from his father, asking him to let him know the total amount of his +debts; as he would rather settle the whole at once and set him clear, +than be continually asked for money. Robert consequently sent him a +list, which even he had grace enough left to be ashamed of. However, the +enormous amount was paid without a word; but a week afterwards a letter +came from his father, saying that in six years he had spent no less than +£40,000, and that now there only remained the house in which the old man +lived and a small farm which yielded a bare £200 a year; that this he +would not touch, and that not one single penny would he farther advance +his son; but that if he chose to come down and live with him, that he +would meet with a hearty welcome, and with not one word of reproach for +the past. Seeing no other course open to him, Robert Gregory came back +sulkily enough to the old house, where, as has before been said, the old +man did not live many months. + +Long as was the list of debts which Robert had sent up from London, it +had by no means comprised the whole of them. At his father's death, +therefore, he was obliged to mortgage the farm to nearly its full value, +to satisfy the most pressing of his creditors, and then, for the first +time in his life, Robert Gregory asked himself how he was to live. It +was by no means an easy question to answer; indeed, think the matter +over as he would, he could imagine no mode by which, even had he been +inclined to work, which he was not, he could have earned his living. It +was while he was vainly, week after week, endeavouring to solve this +problem, that the intention of Mr. Harmer to make Sophy Needham his +heiress was made public. Robert Gregory hailed the news as a direct +answer to his question--he would marry the heiress. He did not jump at +the conclusion in haste; he inquired closely concerning the habits of +the family at Harmer Place, of whom previously he had known nothing +except by name; he found that their life had been hitherto one of +seclusion, owing to the ascetic life of the Miss Harmers, and the +studious one of their brother; he heard of Sophy Needham's birth and +origin, and he heard, too, that society refused to visit her, and at +last he said to himself confidently and firmly, "I will marry her." +Having arrived at this determination, Robert Gregory at once proceeded +to act upon it, and soon had his whole scheme arranged to his +satisfaction. He felt that the matter was one which required time, and +he accordingly sold the farm for two or three hundred pounds beyond the +amount for which it was mortgaged, and on this sum he calculated to be +able to live until he was able to marry Sophy. + +This done, putting on a shooting suit, he day after day concealed +himself in the grounds at some distance from the house, at a spot from +which he could see when Sophy strolled out, and could watch the +direction she took. One day he perceived that the course she was +following in her ramble would lead her close to the boundary of the +property; making a circuit, he took his position on the other side of +the hedge, and therefore off the Harmer estate. When Sophy came along, +and he could see that she was immediately opposite him, separated only +by the hedge, he discharged both barrels of his gun. Sophy naturally +uttered an exclamation of surprise and alarm, and this was all he +needed. + +As if astonished at finding a lady so close to him, he crossed the +hedge, and lifting his hat, he apologized deeply for the alarm he had +given her, trusted that the shock had not been serious, and in fact made +so good a use of his time, that he managed to detain her in conversation +for a quarter of an hour. + +Robert Gregory, it has already been said, was a handsome man with a good +figure. His conversation and manners might not have passed muster in +critical society, still he had seen enough of the world to be able to +assume the air of a gentleman sufficiently well to deceive a girl who +had hardly ever conversed with a young man before in her life; his +address to her was straightforward and outspoken, and yet with something +deferential about it to which Sophy was quite unaccustomed, and which +gratified her exceedingly. + +The attempt of Robert Gregory was well-timed. Sophy knew that Mr. Harmer +had proclaimed her his heiress, and she felt, and felt keenly, that +society refused to call upon her or recognise her; she was naturally a +sensitive, shy girl, and the accident of her birth had been a constant +pain and sorrow to her, and she was, therefore, in exactly the frame of +mind to receive with greedy pleasure the expression of Robert Gregory's +deference and distantly expressed admiration. She noted no bad +expression in the handsome face which smiled upon her, she detected no +flaw in the fine figure which bent a little as he spoke to her; she only +saw one who treated her--her whom the world scorned and repelled--with +respectful deference and admiration; and from that moment her heart went +out freely and fully towards him. + +As he was leaving her, Robert Gregory mentioned that he lived on the +other side of Canterbury, but was out for a day's shooting on the +neighbouring estate. He said that on that day week he should again be +there, and asked her if she frequently walked in that direction; he +urged that he should feel really anxious to know if she had suffered +from the effect of the sudden alarm he had given her, and that he hoped +she would be kind enough to let him know how she was. + +Sophy coloured and paused, and then said that she frequently walked in +that direction, and that if he happened to see her as she went past, she +should of course be happy to assure him that she was not in the least +upset by the little start that she had had. And so they parted, and +Robert Gregory felt, that as far as she was concerned, the game was won. + +Again and again they met, and before very long he spoke of love to her; +and Sophy, whose life had been hitherto a joyless one, gave him her +heart without concealment, and found that, for the first time, she had +discovered happiness. But that happiness soon had its alloy of trouble. +When Christmas came, and the Bishop and his wife called, and society in +general followed their example, Sophy naturally wondered, and asked +Robert why he did not do the same. He was prepared for the question, +which he knew must come sooner or later, and his answer had long been +determined upon. He at once said that he threw himself entirely on her +mercy, and even if it were the signal for his dismissal from her side +for ever, he would tell her the truth. He told her that, owing to want +of control as a boy, he had been when a very young man, spendthrift and +wild, and that he had dissipated his fortune in folly and amusements. +That the Christian propriety of Canterbury had taken upon itself to be +greatly scandalized thereby; and that although he had long since given +up his former courses, and had returned and lived happily and quietly +with his old father, although that father himself had never complained +to him, or, he believed, to any one, of his previous folly, yet that +society in general had taken upon itself to refuse its assent to the +welcome of the prodigal, but had indeed desired him to go into a far +country and be fed upon husks. + +Sophy, instead of being shocked at all this, clung to him, as might have +been expected, all the closer. The well-affected scorn and bitterness +with which he spoke of the Christian charity of society, struck, as he +had intended it should, a sympathetic chord in her own breast; for had +not she, too, been declared under the ban of society, and for no fault +or sin of her own? It is true, society had now condescended to visit +her, but why? Was she any better or more honourably born than before? +Had her conduct in any way softened them towards her? Not a bit. A +bishop had said that she might be visited, and so the world had +graciously extended its hand and received her into its fold. But +although Sophy accepted the offered hand, she hated the giver of it; and +although she arrayed her face with a placid smile as she entered into +society, it only covered a sense of bitter outrage and of indignant +contempt. Nursing, as she did, feelings like these, it was with an +absolute sense of pleasure that she found that her lover, like herself, +was deemed an outcast. To her it was but one more new tie between them; +and when Robert had finished his confession, her own rage and wrongs +against society broke out in a stream of bitter, passionate words, and +Robert Gregory found there was far more in the ordinarily tranquil, +quiet woman before him than he had ever given her credit for. However, +her present frame of mind was most favourable for his plans, and he +therefore took good care to keep alive her resentment against the world, +in order to bind her more closely to himself. It was soon after this +that the fêtes at Harmer Place were given. Robert Gregory managed to +obtain an invitation, but arranged with Sophy that he would not dance +with her, alleging the truth, that if he did so, society would be sure +to poison Mr. Harmer's mind against him, and render his consent to their +marriage out of the question; and Sophy was content to follow his +guidance in all things, and to see everything with his eyes. + +The real difficulties of Robert Gregory's course were only yet +beginning. Sophy was, indeed, won; but it was Sophy's money, and not +herself, that he cared for; now Sophy's money at present depended upon +Mr. Harmer, and not upon herself; and Robert feared that in the event of +a runaway match, Mr. Harmer would very materially alter his will. Still, +on the other hand, her grandfather was extremely fond of her; he had no +one else to leave his money to, and he might in time reinstate her in +his favour. At last he asked Sophy if she thought Mr. Harmer would, +after a time, forgive her if she made a runaway match with him, for he +had no hope of ever obtaining his consent beforehand. Sophy was very +loath to answer the question. She was quite ready to marry Robert, but +she shrank from the thought of paining the old man who had been so kind +to her. However, as Robert again and again returned to the point, she at +last came to discuss it as calmly as he did. + +"Yes, she thought Mr. Harmer would be reconciled to her; she believed he +would miss her so much, that he would be sure to forgive her in a short +time; it was not in his nature to bear malice to any one. Yes, he would +soon come round; indeed, she was certain that if Robert would but make +himself known to him, that Mr. Harmer would not care for what other +people said, but would judge for himself, and would esteem and like him +as she did." + +This course Sophy pressed very much upon her lover, with many loving +entreaties and tears, for she really loved Mr. Harmer truly, and shrank +from grieving him. These entreaties, however, Robert always gently, but +decidedly put aside. He said that Mr. Harmer would be certain to believe +the edict of society against him, would decline to grant him any +opportunity of justifying himself, and would refuse to allow him to +enter the house. Besides he would be just as angry at discovering the +secret understanding which existed between them, as he would be at their +marriage, and he would be certain to forbid all intercourse between +them, and perhaps even insert a condition in his will forbidding her to +marry him under pain of the forfeiture of his fortune. For Robert made +no secret from Sophy that her money would be of the greatest use to +them; not, as he put it, that he cared for money for its own sake, but +that if they were rich they could spend their life abroad, where no +scoff or sneer of society could reach them, and where they should never +be disturbed by the sarcasms and whispers of the world; while they, in +their turn, would be able to show society how heartily they despised it, +and how well they could do without it. + +Sophy, in her present state of mind, thought all this very grand and +heroic, and really believed that her lover spoke in a noble and +disinterested manner; and as she was herself perfectly conscious of the +advantages of wealth, she quite agreed that, if possible, her fortune +should not be sacrificed. + +Robert, then, at last, succeeded in persuading her that a runaway match +was the only alternative, and as she really believed that she would be +very soon forgiven by Mr. Harmer, it was at length arranged to take +place shortly. This was in the spring of the year, and their secret +acquaintance had then continued eighteen months. The date was fixed for +the elopement, when the paralytic stroke which Mr. Harmer had put a stop +to all their plans; and this for two reasons: pressed as he again was +for money--for his creditors, who had been only partially paid before, +were now becoming clamorous--Robert Gregory felt that with Mr. Harmer at +the point of death it would be perfect madness to run the risk of Sophy +being disinherited, when a few weeks might leave her the undisputed +owner of £75,000; so although sorely harassed for money, he was content +to wait. The other reason was that Sophy was full of remorse at the +thought that she had been at the point of deserting her benefactor. She +met Robert now very seldom, but devoted herself to Mr. Harmer. As, +however, the weeks ran on, he slowly but surely recovered health and +became his former self, and her constant attendance on him was no longer +needed; so she fell back to her old habits; her meetings in the +plantation became more frequent, and his influence resumed its power +over her. Robert Gregory had discernment enough to suit his behaviour to +his words: when the old man was at his worst, he was full of tender +commiseration for her; when he began to recover, he pretended a warm +interest in his health, although inwardly he was filled with rage and +chagrin at his convalescence. At length his own affairs arrived at such +a crisis that he was in momentary fear of arrest, and he felt that once +in prison his union with Sophy must be postponed at any rate till after +Mr. Harmer's death, which now again appeared to be a distant event. He, +therefore, once more began to persuade Sophy to elope with him; but he +had a far more difficult task than before. All his old arguments were +brought forward; but it was some time before he could succeed. +Gradually, however, her old habit of listening to his opinion prevailed; +she allowed herself to be persuaded that her grandfather might now live +for many years, and that he could for a short time dispense with her +services; that as she had been so useful to him during his illness, and +as he must be more attached to her than ever, it was quite certain that +he could not for long remain proof to her entreaties for forgiveness. + +And so at last, but not without many tears and much bitter +self-reproach, Sophy consented to an elopement--consented at that very +interview coming from which Dr. Ashleigh surprised Robert Gregory--who, +elated by his success, was making his way off without observing his +usual care and precaution. + +At breakfast on the following morning, Mr. Harmer remarked that Sophy +looked pale and ill; she answered that her head ached sadly, but that +she had no doubt a stroll in the grounds would do it good. After +breakfast she accordingly went out, and, after wandering for some time +carelessly in sight of the house, she made her usual circuit to avoid +observation, and then entered the plantation near the road. She found +Robert Gregory waiting for her under the tree where they had now met for +just two years, sometimes once a week, sometimes once a month, according +to the time of year, and the opportunities Sophy had for rambling about. +Robert looked anxiously at her as she came up, to see if there were any +signs of flinching or drawing back in her pale face, but there were +none. Sophy was quiet and shy, but she had a fund of quiet determination +and courage within her. He kissed her tenderly. "You are looking pale +this morning, little one." + +"I daresay," she answered, "for I have not closed my eyes all night. Is +everything ready?" + +"Quite. I shall be with the gig in the road just outside that gap, a +minute or two before a quarter past eight; if you will get here a few +minutes after that time, we shall be able to catch the nine o'clock +train to London easily. I shall take you to an Hotel near Euston Square, +and we will go on by the early train to Scotland, and shall be half way +there before they find out in the morning that you are gone. You can +trust me, dearest?" + +"Yes, Robert," Sophy said quietly. "I have trusted you all these +meetings here, and I have found you an honourable gentleman, and I am +not going to distrust you now. I feel sure that all will turn out as we +wish, and that grandpapa will forgive me very soon, and take us both +into favour; and I hope that in a fortnight we shall be back here again, +forgiven and welcome." Sophy spoke cheerfully, for she really believed +what she said. + +"Are you sure to be able to slip out unobserved?" + +"Quite sure, Robert. I shall go up to bed at eight, and ask not to be +disturbed, as I wish to sleep. I shall bring a bag with me, and shall +put on a thick veil, so as not to be recognized by any one as we go +through Canterbury. I have, as I told you, plenty of money. Good-bye +now, Robert, I must not wait here any longer." + +"Good bye, dear, till this evening." + +He looked after her as she went lightly away among the trees, her +footsteps scarcely sounding in the limp, new-fallen autumn leaves, and a +shade of compunction came over his face. He was certainly a blackguard, +he knew it well, but, by heavens, he would try to make this little girl +happy. They would be rich some day, and then they would travel for +years, and when he came back his evil name would have died out, and he +could then lead a quiet, happy life, perhaps at the old house there; and +then--and then, who knows; perhaps little children would grow up round +him: surely then he must be happy. Could it be--good God! could it be +possible that he might yet turn out a good man after all? "Yes, there +was hope for him yet." And as Robert Gregory turned away, there was a +tear in his eye, which was even now growing heavy and red from long +excesses and hard drinking, and a sigh, and a half prayer from the +heart, from which for long years such things had ceased to rise. + +The next morning at ten o'clock, as Sophy had not come down to +breakfast, Mr. Harmer, as he went into the library, desired the servant +to take his compliments to Miss Needham, and inquire how she felt. +Presently the servant came into the library looking very pale and +scared. "If you please, sir, Miss Sophy is not in her room, but there +was this letter for you laying on the table." So saying, the girl +hastily left the room, to relate to the other servants the extraordinary +fact that Miss Sophy was not in her room, and that her bed had not been +slept in. + +The letter to Mr. Harmer was as follows:-- + + "My dearest Grandpapa, + + "If you were other than you are, this letter would not be + written; I should not dare to plead my cause with you; but I + know you so well--I know how kind and good you are--and so I + venture to hope for your forgiveness. I am very wicked, + grandpapa; I am going away without your consent to be married. + He--my husband that is to be--is named Robert Gregory. He has + told me frankly that men do not speak well of him, and that + when he was young he was wild and bad. He tells me so, and I + must believe him; but he must have been very different to what + he is now--for now I know him to be good and noble. I have + known him long--I own it with shame that I have never told you + before, and many tears the concealment has cost me; but, oh, + grandpapa, had I told you, you would have sent him away, and I + should have lost him. He and you are all I have in the world; + let me keep you both. He showed me kindness when all the world, + except you--my kindest and best of friends--turned their backs + upon me, and I could not give him up. While I write now, my + eyes are full of tears, and my heart bleeds to think of the + pain this will give you, after all your goodness to me. Oh, + forgive me. Do for my sake, dear, dear grandpapa, see him and + judge for yourself. I only ask this, and then I know you will + forgive him and me. Write soon to me--only one word--say you + forgive me, and let me be your little Sophy once more. I shall + not love you the less for loving him, and much as I love him, + without your forgiveness my life will indeed be miserable. + + "Write soon, grandpapa--write soon, and say you forgive me, and + that I shall again be your own-- + + "SOPHY." + +Presently the Misses Harmer--who always breakfasted much earlier +together, and then retired to a dressing-room they had fitted up as a +small oratory--were surprised at loud talking, and confusion in the +house. In a short time their own maid knocked at the door, and then came +in with a face full of excitement, to say that Miss Sophy had not slept +in her bed, and that they had searched the whole house, and found no +signs of her. + +"Does my brother know?" Miss Harmer asked, after hearing the whole story +very quietly to the end. + +"I can't say, ma'am; there was a letter on Miss Sophy's table, which +Mary took into Mr. Harmer, in the library, when she first found it, and +he has not come out since." + +The Misses Harmer, with their usual deliberate walk, went down stairs, +and then into the library. + +Mr. Harmer was sitting at the table, with his back to the door, and did +not turn round at their approach. They went up. Beside him on the table +lay an open letter--the one from Sophy;--in his hand was a pen, and +before him a sheet of paper. On it he had written: "My dearest Sophy, +come back; I forgive"--but the handwriting was strangely indistinct, and +the last word, the word "forgive," was large and sprawling, like a +schoolboy's writing, and then the pen stopped, and had stopped for +ever;--Herbert Harmer was dead. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +A BAD BUSINESS. + + +"Mr. Harmer is dead! Sophy Needham is missing!" + +Such was the news a groom, riding into Canterbury for a doctor, brought; +such was the telegram which a friend at once sent down to us at +Ramsgate. + +Mr. Harmer dead! Sophy Needham missing! It flashed like wildfire through +Canterbury, and the quiet old town was again shaken out of its lethargy +by the intelligence. Mr. Harmer, during his lifetime, had been a +standing topic of conversation; he had on several occasions quite roused +it from the even tenor of its way, but this last sensation was greater +and more astounding than any of its predecessors, and Canterbury enjoyed +it with proportionate gusto. + +"Sophy Needham eloped with that notorious reprobate, Robert +Gregory"--for the Misses Harmer, by their invectives on reading the +letter, at once had told those round them with whom Sophy had fled-- +"and poor Mr. Harmer gone off in a fit in consequence!!" It was indeed a +terrible affair, and it was not mended in the telling. By the time the +tale had made its round, it had swollen to extraordinary +proportions--fresh additions were made by each mouth through which it +passed, until at last it was extremely difficult to find out what the +truth of the matter was. + +From the simple report that Sophy Needham had eloped with Robert +Gregory, and that it had killed poor Mr. Harmer, the transition was easy +to--"and _he_ had killed poor Mr. Harmer;" and details of the supposed +murder grew till it became a tragedy of the most coldblooded +description. + +The groom's statement that the Misses Harmer were in a dreadful state +about it, soon lost the last two words, and grew into,--"The Misses +Harmer were also attacked, and were lying in a dreadful state." + +Altogether, although Robert Gregory and Sophy were undoubtedly much to +blame, and had acted very wrongly, I believe they would hardly have +recognised themselves or their doings, in the two fiends in human shape, +whose deeds were commented upon in Canterbury that afternoon. + +The next day the real truth of the story became known, and there was +some feeling of disappointment that things were not as bad as had been +reported; but even then the opinion in respect to Sophy and her lover +were hardly modified;--give a dog a bad name and you may as well hang +him. + +This couple had been accused of murder and violence, and, although the +charge was now disproved, yet it was universally agreed that these +crimes might, and in all probability would have been perpetrated, had +the fugitives been detected at the time of their flight. Sophy's conduct +was so atrocious, her ingratitude to Mr. Harmer so base, that there was +no question that a nature so depraved would hesitate at nothing. The +ladies of the Canterbury society were the more inclined to insist upon +this, as it justified the views they had originally entertained of the +impropriety of calling upon the young person at Harmer Place, and the +doubts, they now affirmed they had always experienced of the possibility +of such a person ever turning out otherwise than badly. They felt, +therefore, that they had attained a great triumph over their husbands, +who had been, on the whole, inclined to differ from their opinions. They +had always, they said, predicted something of the kind from the time +when they had heard of Mr. Harmer's intention towards her, and it really +appeared to them to be almost a judgment upon him, for his infatuation, +and for his venturing to fly in the face of the public feelings of +morality and propriety in the way he had done. + +Some of the husbands, indeed, even now ventured to offer excuses for +Sophy, and to point out that a good deal might be urged in her +behalf--her lonely position, her ignorance of the world, and of the +character of the man she had gone off with; and, still more, the +temptation to which she would be exposed by such an unprincipled +blackguard as Robert Gregory. But these suggestions were contemptuously +put aside. The bad character of the man, in place of being a palliation, +was an aggravation of the offence, and this was satisfactorily proved by +that _argumentum ad hominem_ in which women so delight. + +"You know very well, my dear, that if your own daughter had gone off +with such a man, you would have considered it a very much worse +business, and have been far more angry about it, than if she had run +away with some gentleman of position and character; so how can you now +talk such nonsense as to say that the man's bad character is a +palliation of her fault?" + +I have often wondered why it is that we women are so much more severe +upon offenders of our own sex than men are. Is it that men know so much +more of life and human nature than we do? Is it that they know how +comparatively few women ever are seriously thus tempted during their +lives, and how hard it is to withstand great trials of this kind? Is it +because they know, too, that very few of us who are so loud and so +bitter in our contempt for those who fall, but would, if placed under +the same circumstances, and exposed to the same temptation, have acted +precisely in the same way? I think it must be that; and when I hear +women so loud and bitter in their denunciations, and when I see men look +grieved and sorry, but say nothing, I cannot help thinking sometimes, +that it would be better if we judged not so harshly and scornfully of +those who have fallen under a temptation to which we, through God's +mercy, have never been exposed. + +Of course, next to the startling events which had taken place, the great +question upon which the interest of Canterbury was fixed, was whether +Mr. Harmer had destroyed his will or not before he died. But this was a +point upon which no one could enlighten them, and all awaited with +intense interest the day of the funeral, after which it would, of +course, be known all about it. + +To us at Ramsgate the news came with a terrible shock. Papa, who had +settled to have gone over on that day, had, from some reason or other, +postponed it to the next; consequently, he was with me when the boy +arrived from the station with the telegram at about twelve o'clock. + +It happened to be a wet day, so that, contrary to our usual habit, we +were indoors when the boy came up with the note. Papa signed the +receipt, and the lad left before he opened it. When he did so, he +glanced at the contents, and dropped it on the table with almost a +groan. + +"What is it, papa?" I asked, dreadfully alarmed; "may I read it?" Papa +motioned assent, and my heart almost stood still as I read the terrible +tidings-- + +"Mr. Harmer is dead; Sophy Needham is missing." + +It was a dreadful shock; and yet we had talked and thought so much the +last two days of Sophy and Robert Gregory, and of the consequences the +discovery of their connection might have upon Mr. Harmer, that it could +be hardly said to come upon us as a surprise. For some time we were too +shocked to speak at all. At last I said-- + +"Poor Mr. Harmer! how dreadful!" + +"Rather poor Sophy," papa said. "Unfortunate, misguided girl, how +bitterly she will repent this! What a life-long remorse hers will be! +She has sacrificed the happiness of her own life by joining it to that +of Robert Gregory, and she has caused her benefactor's death; and +whatever be the folly, whatever the terrible fault of Sophy's conduct +now, undoubtedly she loved him dearly." + +While papa was speaking, another telegram arrived, and this time from +Miss Harmer, for the former one was sent by a friend who had heard the +news, and knowing our interest in it, had at once forwarded it to us, +while the groom who brought it in, was searching for a doctor to go over +at once. Miss Harmer's message was only-- + +"Please come at once. My brother is dead." + +On the receipt of this, we consulted a timetable, found a train would +start in half an hour, and in a few minutes papa started, leaving me to +cry over the news I had heard--to cry as much for Sophy as for Mr. +Harmer--(for, from what papa said, she was indeed to be pitied), and to +look forward anxiously to his return with full particulars of the +terrible event. + +I shall tell the story of his visit to Harmer Place, and its results, as +he told it to me; and I may here mention that in future, in this +narrative of mine, I shall always drop the first person when I am +telling of events at which I was not myself present, and shall relate +them in the order in which they happened, and not when they were told to +me, which was not, in some cases, till years after. + +When Dr. Ashleigh arrived at Harmer Place, he was shown at once into the +drawing-room, where in a few minutes he was joined by the Misses Harmer. + +As nothing has been said of the personal appearance of the Misses Harmer +from the time when their brother met them, twenty-one years before this +date, and as they will in future play a far more important part in this +narrative than they have hitherto done, it is proper to say what they +were like at this period. + +The Misses Harmer, when their brother left England in the year 1795, a +boy of sixteen, were aged respectively twenty and twenty-one, and were +consequently at the time of his death, in the year 1848, seventy-three +and seventy-four. At the time when they were last described they were +extremely similar in appearance, and, indeed, might almost have been +mistaken one for the other, but there was now a great and marked +difference between them: the younger sister looked the elder of the two +by at least ten years. The ascetic life, the severe self-repressive +discipline to which they had subjected themselves, seemed to have worn +out the one sister while it had but hardened the other--hardened her +till her impassive face had a stony and petrified appearance. Of the +two, she had, perhaps, been originally the woman of the stronger +passions and the more determined will; and yet her more vigorous +constitution had enabled her to support that lonely, hard, loveless +life, and to come through it harder and sterner than before, while her +weaker sister was fast succumbing to the long and weary struggle. + +Angela's bended head was more bowed now than of yore, her look more mild +and gentle; the light of that peace which was to her fast +approaching--when watching, and penance, and tears should be all +over--seemed to shine already on her face, and to soften its hard, +unhappy outlines. + +Cecilia was more upright than before. The comparatively cheerful life +she had led at her brother's house for nearly twenty years, had, to a +certain extent, worn off the look and habit of repression and humility +which she had gained from her early residence in a convent, and +afterwards with her stern elder brothers. She had too, for all these +last twenty years, been working with a purpose--a vague one indeed, and, +seemingly, a hopeless one, but yet to her a holy purpose, worthy of her +dedicating her life to attain--namely, the hope that her brother might +yet return to the old faith, or that, if he died before them, he might +leave them his property; so that, in either of these cases, the Roman +Church might reap the rich harvest which her elder brothers had intended +for it. This hope had been to a great extent defeated by the declared +intentions of Herbert Harmer, and yet she clung desperately to it. + +The Bishop of Ravenna had cheered them all this time with his letters +and his counsel; but even he had almost given up all hope of ever +winning their rich property for the Church; but Cecilia never despaired, +and when she had hurried back again on the news of Mr. Harmer's first +paralytic seizure, it was with the strong hope and conviction that he +would yet on his deathbed alter his will, abjure the errors of the faith +he had adopted, and be received and forgiven by Mother Church. However, +events had not turned out as she had hoped. Herbert Harmer had died a +member of his new faith, and the estate was certainly not willed to the +sisters, and Cecilia, while she endured a true sense of sorrow for her +brother's loss, yet mingled with it a deep feeling of disappointment and +rage, and a stern determination that the labour of her life should not +be frustrated. + +Doctor Ashleigh, when they entered the room, saw at once that both +sisters were much agitated, and yet in a different way. Both had +evidently been crying; but Miss Harmer seemed endeavouring to keep down +her grief by a fierce, angry determination; while Angela's sorrow was +mingled with a strange, timid, anxious manner, which Dr. Ashleigh could +not understand. + +"You received our message, Dr. Ashleigh, and are aware of the terrible +event which has taken place here?" + +"I am, Miss Harmer, and am indeed shocked to hear it." + +"You have heard that our brother was murdered?" + +"Murdered!" Dr. Ashleigh said aghast; for he had heard some of the +floating rumours as he passed through the town, but had quite +disbelieved them. + +"Yes, Dr. Ashleigh, my brother was murdered--killed by the conduct of +that wretched, ungrateful woman; murdered as much as if she had stabbed +him to the heart." + +"Really, Miss Harmer," the Doctor said, "you alarmed me for a moment +into believing that my old friend had met his end by foul play. Sophy's +conduct is inexcusable, and I do not wish to enter into any defence of +it; but still she can hardly be termed a murderess." + +"I can see no distinction, Dr. Ashleigh," Miss Harmer said; and as she +spoke her tall figure seemed to gain additional height, her eyes +flashed, and her colour rose angrily. "My brother, Dr. Ashleigh, was on +the fair way to perfect recovery--you, yourself, told me so--and that +only some sudden shock would be likely to throw him back again, but that +another attack would probably be fatal. That shock, this wretched girl +deliberately and knowingly gave him, and I say she is as wilfully the +murderess of the man who had picked her from the kennel where she was +born, as if she had given him poison. I pray that her sin may be +punished by divine law, if it cannot be by human. I pray that the man +for whom she has murdered my brother may turn out a constant retribution +and curse to her. May she never know happiness again. May her children, +if she bear them, cause her the misery she has brought on us. May----" + +"Hold, Miss Harmer!" Dr. Ashleigh said sternly, stepping forward and +laying his hand impressively on the excited woman's arm. "Forbear! +Blessings and curses proceed from God alone. At present your grief at +this sad affair urges you to say things which in your calmer moments you +would be, I am sure, the first to regret. This unhappy girl has +assuredly grievously erred, and grievous have been the consequences; and +she will, undoubtedly, have to expiate it by a life-long sorrow and +repentance--and her bitterest enemy need wish her no worse punishment +than her own thoughts and the husband she has chosen." + +"We need not discuss the question, Dr. Ashleigh!" Miss Harmer said, +angrily. "Nothing will ever alter my feelings towards this wretched girl! +Nothing can ever soften the horror and loathing I feel towards her! +Nothing shall ever induce me to see her face again! She may be beyond +human law, but in my sight she is a murderess!" + +Dr. Ashleigh saw that in Miss Harmer's present state of nervous and +excited feeling, any argument which he could urge would be only vain, +and would, indeed, tend to heighten her anger. He therefore remained +silent. + +Angela Harmer had not yet spoken, but it was evident that she--as far as +her milder nature could go--sympathized with her sister's anger, and yet +sorrow was with her predominant. She had seated herself in a large +arm-chair by the fire, on entering; and most of the time she sat with +her face hidden in her hands, and the Doctor could see the tears trickle +through her withered fingers. Sometimes, however, when her sister was +speaking she looked up with an anxious deprecating glance, but Cecilia +heeded her not; but, when she had done speaking, walked up and down the +room with her hands tightly clenched, her eyes flashing with anger--even +through the tears of sorrow which rolled unheeded down her cheek;--her +whole form so inspired by her emotion, that Dr. Ashleigh could hardly +believe her to be the quiet self-contained woman he had known so long. + +At last she became more calm, stopped before him, and said, "Dr. +Ashleigh, you were our brother's greatest friend; may I ask you to see +to all arrangements connected with his funeral. We should wish him to be +buried in such state as is becoming to the last of an old race. Alas! +that he cannot be laid where his fore-fathers have been! Will you see to +all this?" + +"I will, Miss Harmer, willingly. I do not know whether you have any +particular wishes as to where he should be laid? I have heard him +express a preference for the village churchyard here. I do not know +whether he has mentioned his wishes in his will." + +"I know nothing of the will whatever!" Miss Harmer said positively, and +Dr. Ashleigh noticed her sister cast one of the frightened glances +towards her which he had before perceived. "I know nothing whatever of +the will," she repeated steadily; "but if he expressed any preference +for Sturry, let it be so. And now, Dr. Ashleigh," and here her voice +softened, "I do not know that we have any more to say: you will wish, of +course, to go up to see our poor brother. We shall see you, I hope, +to-morrow or next day." So saying, the Misses Harmer took their leave of +Dr. Ashleigh, and retired to their own rooms, while he took the +well-known way to his old friend's bed-room. + +As he went up-stairs he met Mary--the girl who had been Sophy Needham's +maid--coming down. Her eyes were red with crying. She curtsied to the +Doctor as he passed--for they all loved him, and he had ever a kind word +for all he met. "This is a sad affair, Mary!" he said. + +"Dreadful, Sir," the girl answered. "Will you please to tell me what has +become of Miss Sophy? We are all so anxious to know the real truth." + +"I am afraid she has eloped with Mr. Gregory," the Doctor said, gravely; +"there is no secret about it." + +"I was afraid she was gone, Sir, when I went into her room this morning, +and found the bed had not been slept in, and the letter for Mr. Harmer +on the table. It gave me such a turn, Sir; you might have knocked me +down with a breath." + +"Did Mr. Harmer say anything when you gave him the letter?" the Doctor +asked, anxiously. + +"No, Sir! I gave him the letter and went straight out, for I was +frightened; he was sitting at the table just as he was when we found him +dead--just the same. He was a kind, good master, Sir, as ever +lived--never angry or put out; and he forgived Miss Sophy with his dying +breath." And the girl began to cry again. + +"How do you know he forgave Miss Sophy?" Dr. Ashleigh asked, stopping, +for he was just continuing his way up-stairs. "How do you know he +forgave Miss Sophy?" + +"This way. Sir. When the Misses Harmer went into the room, I went and +stood at the door to listen, for we all wanted to hear what had become +of poor Miss Sophy. They went up to the table and leant over him, and +gave a cry; and I ran in, and they were lifting him up, and on the table +before him was a letter he had just begun to write, it was only five or +six words, but I saw it began 'My dearest Sophy;' I did not read +anything else, but the last two words were 'I forgive.' They were writ +very large indeed, and I could not help seeing them, Sir, as I helped to +lift him up. After he had been carried up-stairs I went into the library +to get that letter, Sir--for I knew it would be a great comfort to poor +Miss Sophy--but when I got there it was gone. I asked the servants but +none of them had seen it, so I suppose one of the Misses Harmer had +taken care of it." + +"I am very glad you told me this, Mary, very glad! It will indeed be a +great comfort to your poor young mistress." So saying the Doctor went +into the dead man's room. + +Mr. Harmer lay on his bed, and the warm light of the afternoon sun +streamed bright and full upon his face. It was tranquil and peaceful as +in life, and his lips were parted in a calm smile--a smile as of the +peace and forgiveness he felt as he died. + +The Doctor looked into his old friend's face, and the tears welled up +into his eyes. "He died as he lived," he said to himself, "forgiving as +he also would be forgiven. Dear old friend, we have spent many a happy +hour together; yet, dying as you died, how can I grieve for you?" + +The Doctor stood for some time sadly musing by the bed-side; and then +turning softly away, was soon on his way back to Canterbury, where he +gave the necessary orders and then returned to Ramsgate. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +MISSING! + + +Mr. Harmer died on Friday morning, and it was arranged that his funeral +should take place on that day week. On the day preceding Dr. Ashleigh +left Ramsgate early, and went direct to his own house, to see several +patients who were to call upon him there prior to his going out on his +rounds. Most of those he expected had called, and he was sitting alone +in his library when the door opened and the servant announced "Mr. +Gregory." + +Dr. Ashleigh rose from his seat, with a cold, haughty look on his face, +such as had not for many years been seen upon it. Robert Gregory's face +wore a mingled air of anxiety and triumph, slightly veiled under an +expression of gravity and decorum which he had assumed as suitable to +the occasion. He was evidently much embarrassed how to begin, and the +extremely repellant and hostile expression of Dr. Ashleigh's face did +not assist him in his difficulty. + +"May I ask," the Doctor said, "to what I owe this visit?" + +"I have called, Dr. Ashleigh," Robert Gregory began, in a voice to which +he in vain attempted to give its usual loud, careless tone. "I have +called from my wife to ask you--you to whom she alone could apply at the +present time--to give her some intelligence respecting the death of her +grandfather." + +"If the unfortunate girl who has become your wife will call upon me +herself, I will give her every information and assistance in my power. +With you I will hold no communication whatever." + +Robert Gregory bit his lips angrily, and his eye flashed: he was a man +but little accustomed to be thwarted. However, as he felt that any +outburst of anger would only injure his cause, and could do him no good, +after a momentary, but fierce struggle with himself, he went on quietly. + +"You are naturally indignant with me, Dr. Ashleigh. I know that after +the sad consequences which have ensued you cannot be otherwise, and am +aware that it is useless my making any excuses or protestations. I know +that the only way in which I can ever justify the course I have taken +will be by making Sophy happy, and by proving that her love and +confidence in me are not so greatly misplaced, and that, after all, I am +not so utter a scamp as the world gives me credit for." + +Undoubtedly the man had carefully thought over beforehand what he +intended to say, and yet he spoke earnestly, for he really meant what he +said, and Dr. Ashleigh, a shrewd observer of men, saw that he did so, +and his face rather softened in its expression. Robert Gregory observed +the change, and went on. + +"I myself should never have come on this errand could she have done so. +But the truth is a friend telegraphed the news to me, and the message +reached me only on Monday morning, as I was returning leisurely from the +north. Sophy is nearly out of her mind, and the doctor I called in to +see her fears that she will have an attack of brain fever. I should not +have left, but her cry was unceasing to know the details of his death, +and whether he said a word of forgiveness to her. I came down by this +morning's train, and return by the one o'clock to London." + +Dr. Ashleigh was softened now; he saw by the man's anxious face and +changed voice that he was truly in earnest, and that although he had +unquestionably wooed and married Sophy for her money, yet that he did +really care for herself, and the Doctor thought that her chance of +happiness was, after all, better than he had imagined it. + +"I am sorry to hear what you say about your wife," he said, in quite a +different tone to that which he had previously adopted, "although I +cannot say I am surprised. The knowledge that the news of her flight had +caused Mr. Harmer's death must of necessity be a terrible grief and +sorrow to her. On that head, however, I truly rejoice that I can give +her some consolation and alleviate her remorse. Mr. Harmer forgave her. +Her letter was taken in to him, and he was found dead with it before +him, and a sheet of paper on which he had begun a letter to her. The +last words he ever wrote were: 'I forgive.' Tell her this from me." + +Robert Gregory's face lit up with pleasure, and this time the emotion +was not purely of a selfish kind. He was glad, very glad for Sophy's +sake to hear that Mr. Harmer had forgiven her before he died; indeed, +even for his own sake he felt the news to be a relief. Hardened as he +was, he could not have felt easy with the knowledge that that good old +man had died invoking a curse upon him with his last breath. But +although for both these reasons he received the news with pleasure, it +was as nothing to the satisfaction he felt at the account which had been +given him of Mr. Harmer's death; for it was quite evident from it that +he had died leaving his will unaltered--he had died a few minutes after +finding Sophy was gone, with his unfinished letter of forgiveness before +him--had probably never even risen from his chair, and had certainly +taken no steps towards altering or cancelling his will. Gratified as he +felt, however, he speedily repressed all show of his feelings, for he +felt that Dr. Ashleigh was watching him, and he knew that his good will +and countenance would be of great service at this time; besides which, +for Sophy's sake, he wished to stand well with him, for Sophy, he knew, +esteemed and loved Dr. Ashleigh more than any other man, now Mr. Harmer +was dead. He, therefore, after a minute's silence, said with an air of +frankness: + +"I am, indeed, glad to hear what you tell me, Dr. Ashleigh. It will be +an immense relief to poor Sophy, and even to myself, for it is not +pleasant to lie under the curse of a dead man; besides which, it would +be idle of me to pretend that I am not very gratified to hear that Mr. +Harmer took no steps towards altering his will. As you, a man of the +world, will naturally suppose, Sophy's wealth was the great inducement +to me, when I first sought her; and although I trust to prove to her and +to you, that I have now learnt to love her truly for herself, I am +still, of course, very glad to hear that her property is not forfeited. +It is now time that I should return to the train, and I hope that my +news may have a good effect upon Sophy's health. I shall be down again +the day after to-morrow, not to attend the funeral, but to be present at +the reading of the will, which will, I suppose, take place afterwards." + +"It will," Dr. Ashleigh said. "Miss Harmer wrote to the solicitor in +London yesterday, informing him of her brother's death, and begging him +to be down at the funeral, which takes place at two o'clock. And now, +Mr. Gregory, will you say to Sophy, that her grandfather forgave her +freely and at once, and that it is not for me, whom she has not injured, +to judge more severely than he has done; will you tell her from me, that +in my daughter and myself she will find friends glad to welcome her +back, and to forget the past. For yourself, Mr. Gregory, it would be +folly to say that a strong prejudice does not exist, you best know +whether justly or not. However, these days are past, and it is now, +according as you treat Sophy, that you will be received, at any rate by +us. Make her happy; try and dry the tears which the consequences of her +love for you have caused to flow, and you will find that we shall be +glad to know you as Sophy's husband." + +So saying, Dr. Ashleigh held out his hand to the man before him, and +Robert Gregory, as he grasped it, experienced a feeling of real +gratification. He knew that this was a truly good man, and that his +course towards Sophy was in no way altered by the fact of her being an +heiress, but because she had been forgiven by his old friend Mr. Harmer, +and for the sake of the many years of affectionate intercourse he had +had with herself. He was gratified, too, by what the Doctor had said +respecting himself, for the countenance and friendship of a good man can +be appreciated even by the worst character. And so Robert Gregory took +his leave of Dr. Ashleigh and returned to town with a softened, although +exultant heart. The Doctor then went over to Harmer Place and saw the +sisters. They passed most of their time in their own rooms, engaged in +earnest prayer for the benefit of their brother's soul; and once, when +the Doctor had been there, they spoke to him in glowing terms of the +power which their church possessed to forgive all sins, even the +greatest. While they thus spoke their eyes lit up with a strange, +passionate fervour of religious zeal--that fierce, burning zeal, which +has for so many centuries made men equally ready to martyrize others or +to die martyrs themselves--that zeal which has led some to give up all +worldly goods, and live the life of wandering beggars, and others to +allow no scruple to interfere with any deed which can enrich and benefit +the church to which they belong. To these remarks Dr. Ashleigh returned +no answer; he was at all times indisposed to enter into religious +arguments, and with women in the exalted state of mind in which the +Misses Harmer were, it would have been worse than useless. On this +occasion, however, he found them both in a calmer state, and he +mentioned to them that he had seen Robert Gregory, and that he spoke of +coming up on the part of his wife after the funeral. For a minute or so +they were silent, and then Miss Harmer said, with stern vehemence,-- + +"Let him come--I presume it is his right; but never again while I live +shall the murderer of my brother darken this door." + +The Doctor half smiled at the idle threat, while Angela Harmer glanced +up at her sister from under her drooping eyelids. + +"I should, perhaps, rather say," Miss Harmer corrected herself, "as long +as I am in this house; if he enter, I leave it. Harmer Place shall never +hold together for one day the sisters of Herbert Harmer and his +murderers." + +The Doctor was silent, for he thought that what she said would certainly +turn out correct, for he did not deem it probable that Robert Gregory, +when he came into possession, was at all the man to invite the two +Misses Harmer to take up their abode with him. + +The next night Dr. Ashleigh did not return to Ramsgate. Harry was to +arrive by the late train from the North, and after the funeral they were +to go down to Ramsgate, where it was arranged they should stop for a +week or two. After that, as we should be well able to afford it, papa +had settled to go on to the Continent for the winter with me. + +Accordingly, the next day Herbert Harmer was laid in his grave in the +quiet churchyard of Sturry. Agreeably to Miss Harmer's wishes, the +funeral was celebrated with a pomp which he who had gone had never +desired for himself while alive. The hearse and mourning-coaches, each +with their four horses and tossing feathers, the man in front with the +tray of sable plumes, the mutes in long array--all was done in the best +style, and people came in from quite a long distance to see it. A good +many of his old Canterbury friends sent their carriages to join the +procession, but there were not many real mourners among those who +followed. The first mourning-coach contained Dr. Ashleigh, his son, and +the solicitor, who had arrived just as the cortège was starting; the +other coaches contained the principal tenants, who had liked their late +landlord, and who had always found him compliant and kind in the +extreme; they had, however, very seldom seen him, as since his son's +death he had gone very little himself among his tenants, although he had +always kept himself well informed concerning the affairs of each of +them. As the procession wound through the village many a blessing and +prayer was murmured for the dead man; there, indeed, he had been a +benefactor; many a sick bed, many an aching heart had his bounty +relieved; and they blessed his memory, blessed him as thousands had done +before them--thousands lying in agony in London hospitals, some never to +go out again alive, many more to be restored in health and strength to +their families; these had poured out countless prayers for the unknown +benefactor who had endowed this ward, added that comfort, or whose +munificent donations had enabled the hospital largely to extend its +benefits; and doubtless their prayers were not the less heard that no +name was uttered, and that they went up for their unknown friend. + +And so Herbert Harmer slept the sleep of the blessed in the quiet +churchyard, and the funeral cortège went back to Harmer Place. + +The doctor had been much affected by the service over his old friend. +Harry, too, was much moved, but in his case it was more the thought of +the grave he had last stood beside, and her over whom he had heard the +service read two months before. + +Mr. Petersfield, the solicitor, was calm. With him it was a pure matter +of business. He had hardly ever seen the dead man; he knew him only as +one of the wealthiest and most eccentric of his clients; he had heard +from his partner that he was a man of sterling worth; but Mr. Ransome +had always managed Mr. Harmer's business, and he himself knew nothing +about it. Mr. Ransome had died six months before, and it would have been +his duty, in a short time, to have made himself thoroughly acquainted +with Mr. Harmer's affairs; as it was, he knew very little about them. + +During the short ride to and from the church there was hardly a word +exchanged in the carriage, as Dr. Ashleigh was an entire stranger to the +solicitor. When they reached the house they were shown into the +drawing-room; into which, a few minutes later, Robert Gregory was +ushered. + +"How is your wife, Mr. Gregory?" the doctor asked, as he shook hands. + +"She is very ill, doctor, but I left her certainly calmer and more +tranquil, and I trust, from what the medical man said last night, that +she will escape any serious attack of brain fever. The news you sent her +was a very great consolation to her, but she is still in terribly low +spirits." + +Here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of the Misses +Harmer, who bowed to Dr. Ashleigh, his son, and the solicitor, all of +whom they had seen before, but who took no notice whatever of the +presence of Robert Gregory. + +The Misses Harmer were accompanied, or rather followed into the room by +a gentleman, whom it was easy to see by his dress was an ecclesiastic of +the Romish Church, and who was an entire stranger to Dr. Ashleigh. + +"This gentleman," Miss Harmer said, introducing him, "is Father Eustace, +a friend of ours for many years, and who, having heard of our loss, has +come over from abroad to assist and comfort us with his presence and +advice." + +Father Eustace was a pale, ascetic looking man, with large, eager bright +eyes; his complexion was dark and swarthy, and he looked every inch what +he was--an Italian. He spoke English with a strong foreign accent, but +still grammatically and pretty distinctly. He bowed courteously to those +present, and then took his seat, and during what followed occupied +himself in closely scrutinizing their countenances, especially those of +Dr. Ashleigh and Robert Gregory, as if desirous to judge for himself how +nearly they tallied with the description he had received of them. + +The Misses Harmer were very pale, but had a quiet, fixed look about +them, in which Dr. Ashleigh thought he read their determination to +listen with composure to the reading of the will, which would place the +hated Robert and Sophy Gregory in the position of master and mistress of +Harmer Place. + +For some little time after they had taken their seats there was a dead +silence, as if each were waiting for the other to begin. At last Mr. +Petersfield said-- + +"With your permission, Miss Harmer, I will at once proceed to read the +will of my late client, Mr. Herbert Harmer. Will you be good enough to +hand it to me?" + +"I have not any will of my brother in my possession," Miss Harmer +answered, coldly. + +"Not in your possession, madam? But you are doubtless aware where your +late brother was in the habit of keeping his important documents?" + +"I have looked, Mr. Petersfield, among his papers, but I have found no +will among them." + +There was a pause of blank astonishment. + +"How is it, Mr. Petersfield," Dr. Ashleigh said, gravely, "that you have +not Mr. Harmer's will in your custody?" + +"It was in our hands, doctor, until about two months ago, when Mr. +Harmer wrote to me, saying that he was desirous of making some slight +alterations in it, and requesting me to forward it. I did so, in charge +of one of my clerks. On the day he came down here, some friend of Mr. +Harmer's died--I understood it was Mrs. Ashleigh--and he told my clerk +that he did not feel equal to attend to business, but that if he would +leave the document with him, he would look it over, and write to me to +send down again in a short time to make the alterations he required. I +did not hear any further from him, and therefore supposed that he had +either changed his mind in reference to the alteration, or had forgotten +the matter altogether. I remember, when my clerk came back, he told me +that he had ventured to suggest that so valuable a document ought to be +kept in a safe place, and that Mr. Harmer had smiled, and answered, 'You +need not be afraid on that score. I have a place to put it in where all +the burglars in the world could not get at it." + +There was again a blank silence, and then the solicitor went on-- + +"In any case, madam, I think it but right that we should search Mr. +Harmer's library thoroughly." + +"Certainly, Mr. Petersfield; you are quite at liberty to search where +you like. Father Eustace, will you do me the kindness to accompany these +gentlemen." + +Father Eustace at once rose, and preceded the others to the library. + +"This looks a very strange business, Mr. Petersfield," Dr. Ashleigh +said, on their way thither. + +"Very--very much so indeed, doctor, and I do not think our search here +is likely to be attended with any success." + +The library was thoroughly ransacked. Every drawer was pulled out and +examined for secret hiding-places; the books were all taken down from +their shelves to look behind them; every place, possible and impossible, +was searched, but, as the lawyer had predicted, without the slightest +result. Harry and Robert Gregory performed the active portion of the +work, the doctor and Mr. Petersfield directing their operations, and +examining the piles of papers which came to light during the search. All +were very silent: they were too interested and excited to talk. From +time to time Robert Gregory muttered savage execrations between his +teeth; but, with that exception, the search was conducted in silence. + +The priest sat quietly and watched them--watched them, and not their +proceedings: in these he seemed to have no curiosity, his attention +being directed entirely to the way in which they each bore their +disappointment. + +The search lasted for an hour. By that time the place had been +completely ransacked, and every possible place examined; and the whole +floor of the room was closely covered with books, papers, scientific +apparatus, and the accumulated litter of years. When all was done, and +it was evident that no corner remained unexplored, the searchers rested +from their work, wiped the perspiration from their foreheads, and looked +at their leader for further instructions. + +Dr. Ashleigh drew the solicitor to a door which led into the garden, +opened it, and went out with him, so that they could converse without +restraint from the presence of the priest. + +"This is an extraordinary business, Mr. Petersfield," Dr. Ashleigh said; +"what do you think of it?" + +"Do you consult me professionally, Dr. Ashleigh?" the lawyer asked, in +return. + +"Certainly I do," Dr. Ashleigh said vehemently. "Mr. Harmer was one of +my oldest and my dearest friends; and even were I not so deeply +interested in the discovery of the will as I am, I would spend every +penny I have in the world in seeing his wishes carried out. You are +aware of the nature of the will?" + +"In a general way I am. My late partner, Mr. Ransome, who has managed +Mr. Harmer's business ever since he came to England, some twenty-three +years ago, told me that Mr. Harmer had left all his property, with the +exception of some comparatively small legacies, between your children +and his illegitimate grandchild, Miss Needham--now, as I understand, +Mrs. Gregory." + +"Precisely," Dr. Ashleigh said. "This is the disposition he publicly +announced that he had made of his property; and in the event of this +will not being found, I presume the Misses Harmer, as his only +relations, will inherit everything?" + +"Clearly so, doctor. It is a most awkward business. However, we cannot +now determine what steps to take: we shall have plenty of time for that +hereafter. Is there any other place you can suggest as worth +searching--his bed-room, for instance?" + +"None at all," the doctor answered. "Mr. Harmer was a man of the +simplest personal habits. His bed-room is furnished just as it was in +India--a plain French bedstead without hangings, an India matting on the +floor, a few cane chairs, and a small chest of drawers. No, it is no use +searching there." + +"Or anywhere, I believe, frankly," Mr. Petersfield said. "Wherever the +will may be, we shall never find it." + +So saying, they returned into the library. Father Eustace was sitting +unmoved in the chair where they had left him. Harry was pacing up and +down that portion of the floor which remained free from the books and +instruments, sometimes stopping and looking out of the window, and +drumming on the panes with his fingers in a state of angry impatience; +he was anxious and uneasy, but he could not believe that the will was +more than mislaid for a time. + +Robert Gregory had cast himself sullenly into an arm chair, and sat with +his elbows on the arms, and his chin resting on his hands. His face was +flushed, his eyes wide open, and his lips set hard. A deadly sensation +of despair was stealing over him, which he in vain strove against. Was +it possible that, after all these years of scheming and watchfulness, +his prize was to be snatched from him in the moment of success? He could +not and would not believe it, and yet he had a hopeless feeling in him +which told him that the will was either lost or destroyed, and that it +would never be found or heard of again. When Mr. Petersfield said, "We +can do no good here--let us return to the drawing-room," he rose, and +followed the others mechanically. + +The Misses Harmer were sitting as they had left them, stiff and +composed, the stern look upon their faces, a red spot in the centre of +their cheeks, and a strange light in their eyes. + +"You have not found my brother's will?" Miss Harmer asked, as they came +in. + +"As you are probably pretty well aware, Miss Harmer, we have not found +it. And now let me ask you distinctly, do you, or do you not, know where +your late brother's will is?" + +Miss Harmer paused for a moment, and Mr. Petersfield and the doctor saw +that she glanced towards Father Eustace, who was looking on the ground. + +"I do not know where my brother was in the habit of keeping his various +documents." + +"I said nothing about various documents, Miss Harmer," Dr. Ashleigh +said, sternly. "I asked you, do you, or do you not, know where the will +is?" + +"I do not," Miss Harmer said, steadily. "Should you find the will, you +will, I presume, let us know?" + +"Should I find it, I will do so." + +"It is not easy to find what has never been lost," Robert Gregory said, +bitterly. + +Miss Harmer faced round at once upon this new antagonist, as if glad to +turn her face from the stern, searching look of the doctor. She and her +sister had risen from their seats now, and none of the others had seated +themselves. Father Eustace had moved across and taken his place by them, +as if to support them by his presence; the others stood in a group +together, with Dr. Ashleigh slightly in advance. + +"As for you, sir," Miss Harmer broke out, addressing Robert Gregory--"as +for you, as I have already told Dr. Ashleigh, I look upon you and the +woman you call your wife, as the murderers of my brother; and now, +having struck him down, and seeing him laid in his grave, you would fain +come here to grasp at his property. Why do you come here to ask for his +will? What is so likely as that, when he heard of that ungrateful girl's +conduct, that conduct which gave him his deathblow, he tore his will +into fragments?" + +"But, Miss Harmer," Dr. Ashleigh said, in his quiet, firm voice, +motioning Robert Gregory, who had advanced to reply to the attack upon +him, to be silent. "But, Miss Harmer, we know that such was not the +case; we know that he was found in the same position in which he was +sitting when he received Sophy's letter. We know that he did not leave +the room, and that no one entered it. We know that there were no +fragments of paper scattered about, as there would in all probability +have been had he destroyed the will in the way you suggest; and lastly, +Miss Harmer," and here the doctor advanced a step nearer and spoke even +more impressingly, "lastly, we know that such an intention was farthest +from Mr. Harmer's mind; for that he began a letter, which is, or has +been in your possession, a letter to Sophy expressing his full +forgiveness. So that in your bitter anger against the poor girl, you are +acting in direct contradiction to the dying words of your brother." + +The two Misses Harmer and Father Eustace were evidently staggered by +this attack. Miss Harmer's cheek, which had flushed up when she attacked +Robert Gregory, turned deadly pale again, and she shrank back as if she +had received a blow. She was a little time before she answered, and then +the change of her voice showed how much she was unnerved: + +"How do you know what you say, Dr. Ashleigh? Have you been enquiring +about among my servants?" + +"I should think, Miss Harmer, you must by this time know me well enough +to be aware that I am not a man given to enquiring among servants. I was +simply told the matter, the truth of which you do not and cannot deny; +and for Sophy's sake I was delighted to hear it. I was glad, also, for +the sake of him who is gone to know that he died with words of +forgiveness on his lips; a forgiveness which you have taken upon +yourself to conceal and to refuse." + +Miss Harmer evidently quailed before Dr. Ashleigh's words. He saw his +advantage, and continued solemnly, pointing with his finger towards her +as he spoke-- + +"And now listen to me, Miss Harmer. I believe, I more than believe, that +will to be concealed, and that you know its place of concealment. Now I, +your dead brother's greatest friend, warn you solemnly. I speak in his +name and my own, and I warn you not to destroy that document. It is your +dead brother's will, and if you destroy it may his curse light upon +you." + +"Cease, sir," Father Eustace said, interposing himself between Dr. +Ashleigh and the sister, now pale and almost gasping for breath; "cease +these impious insults!" + +Dr. Ashleigh waved him aside, and seeing the effect he was producing, +continued in the same earnest voice, never removing his eyes from the +sisters' faces-- + +"I warn you if you destroy it, your dead brother's voice will cry from +the grave. There will be no more peace for you in this world or the +next. His curse will follow you here, and plead against you at the +judgment-seat of God." + +"Come," he said, turning to his companions; for Angela Harmer had sunk +nearly lifeless in a chair, and Cecilia would have fallen had not the +priest, who had in vain endeavoured to check the doctor's solemn +denunciation, supported her. "Come, let us leave this;" and the four men +in silence went out, entered Dr. Ashleigh's carriage, which was in +waiting, and drove off. + + +END OF VOL. I. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's A Search For A Secret (Vol 1 of 3), by G. A. 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Henty.. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; +} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + +table { + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; +} + +.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; +} /* page numbers */ + +.linenum { + position: absolute; + top: auto; + left: 4%; +} /* poetry number */ + +.blockquot { + margin-left: 5%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + +.sidenote { + width: 20%; + padding-bottom: .5em; + padding-top: .5em; + padding-left: .5em; + padding-right: .5em; + margin-left: 1em; + float: right; + clear: right; + margin-top: 1em; + font-size: smaller; + color: black; + background: #eeeeee; + border: dashed 1px; +} + +.bb {border-bottom: solid 2px;} + +.bl {border-left: solid 2px;} + +.bt {border-top: solid 2px;} + +.br {border-right: solid 2px;} + +.bbox {border: solid 2px;} + +.center {text-align: center;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + +.u {text-decoration: underline;} + +.caption {font-weight: bold;} + +/* Images */ +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; +} + +.figleft { + float: left; + clear: left; + margin-left: 0; + margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-right: 1em; + padding: 0; + text-align: center; +} + +.figright { + float: right; + clear: right; + margin-left: 1em; + margin-bottom: + 1em; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-right: 0; + padding: 0; + text-align: center; +} + +/* Footnotes */ +.footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} + +.footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + +.footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + +.fnanchor { + vertical-align: super; + font-size: .8em; + text-decoration: + none; +} + +/* Poetry */ +.poem { + margin-left:10%; + margin-right:10%; + text-align: left; +} + +.poem br {display: none;} + +.poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + +.poem span.i0 { + display: block; + margin-left: 0em; + padding-left: 3em; + text-indent: -3em; +} + +.poem span.i2 { + display: block; + margin-left: 2em; + padding-left: 3em; + text-indent: -3em; +} + +.poem span.i4 { + display: block; + margin-left: 4em; + padding-left: 3em; + text-indent: -3em; +} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +Project Gutenberg's A Search For A Secret (Vol 1 of 3), by G. A. Henty + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Search For A Secret (Vol 1 of 3) + A Novel + +Author: G. A. Henty + +Release Date: January 20, 2011 [EBook #35012] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SEARCH FOR A SECRET (VOL 1 OF 3) *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards, Mary Meehan and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive) + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + +<h1>A SEARCH FOR A SECRET.</h1> + +<h3>A Novel.</h3> + +<h2>BY G. A. HENTY.</h2> + +<h3>IN THREE VOLUMES.</h3> + +<h3>VOL. I.</h3> + + +<h3>LONDON:<br /> +TINSLEY BROTHERS, 18, CATHERINE ST., STRAND.<br /> +1867.</h3> + +<h3>LONDON:<br /> +WYMAN AND SONS, PRINTERS, GREAT QUEEN STREET,<br /> +LINCOLN'S-INN FIELDS, W.C.</h3> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CONTENTS OF VOL. I.</h2> + +<!-- Autogenerated TOC. Modify or delete as required. --> +<p> +<a href="#CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I. EARLY DAYS</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II. THE HARMERS OF HARMER PLACE</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III. "L'HOMME PROPOSE, DIEU DISPOSE"</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV. THE LAST OF THE HARMERS</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V. TESTAMENTARY INTENTIONS</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI. THE BISHOP OF RAVENNA</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER VII. SOCIETY GRACIOUSLY CONDESCENDS</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER VIII. INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER IX. THE OLD STORY</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER X. SUNSHINE AND SHADOW</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER XI. LAYING A TRAIN</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XII">CHAPTER XII. THE EXPLOSION</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">CHAPTER XIII. A BAD BUSINESS</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">CHAPTER XIV. MISSING!</a><br /> +</p> +<!-- End Autogenerated TOC. --> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I.</h2> + +<h3>EARLY DAYS.</h3> + + +<p>There are towns over which time seems to exercise but little power, but +to have passed them by forgotten, in his swift course. Everywhere else, +at his touch, all is changed. Great cities rise upon the site of fishing +villages; huge factories, with their smoky chimneys grow up and +metamorphose quiet towns into busy hives of industry; while other +cities, once prosperous and flourishing, sink into insignificance; and +the passer by, as he wanders through their deserted streets, wonders and +laments over the ruin which has fallen upon them.</p> + +<p>But the towns of which I am speaking—and of which there are but few now +left in England, and these, with hardly an exception, cathedral +towns—seem to suffer no such change. They neither progress nor fall +back. If left behind, they are not beaten in the race, for they have +never entered upon it; but are content to rest under the shelter of +their tall spires and towers; to seek for no change and to meet with +none; but to remain beloved, as no other towns are loved, by those who +have long known them—assimilating, as it were, the very natures of +those who dwell in them, to their own sober, neutral tints.</p> + +<p>In these towns, a wanderer who has left them as a boy, returning as an +old, old man, will see but little change—a house gone here, another +nearly similar built in its place; a greyer tint upon the stone; a tree +fallen in the old close; the ivy climbing a little higher upon the +crumbling wall;—these are all, or nearly all, the changes which he will +see. The trains rush past, bearing their countless passengers, who so +rarely think of stopping there, that the rooks, as they hold their grave +conversations in their nests in the old elm-trees, cease to break off, +even for a moment, at the sound of the distant whistle. The very people +seem, although this is but seeming, to have changed as little as the +place: the same names are over the shop doors—the boy who was at school +has taken his grand-sire's place, and stands at his door, looking down +the quiet street as the old man used to do before him; the dogs are +asleep in the sunny corners they formerly loved; and the same horses +seem to be lazily drawing the carts, with familiar names upon them, into +the old market-place. The wanderer may almost fancy that he has awoke +from a long, troubled dream. It is true that if he enters the little +churchyard, he will see, beneath the dark shadows of the yew-trees, more +gravestones than there were of old; but the names are so similar, that +it is only upon reading them over, that he will find that it is true +after all, and that the friends and playfellows of his childhood, the +strong, merry boys, and the fair girls with sunny ringlets, sleep +peacefully there. But it is not full yet; and he may hope that, when his +time shall come, there may be some quiet nook found, where, even as a +child, he may have fancied that he would like some day to rest.</p> + +<p>Among these cities pre-eminent, as a type of its class, is the town in +which I now sit down to recount the past events of my life, and of the +lives of those most dear to me—not egotistically, I hope, nor thrusting +my own story, in which, indeed, there is little enough, into view; but +telling of those I have known and lived with, as I have noted the events +down in my journal, and at times, when the things I speak of are related +merely on hearsay, dropping that dreadful personal pronoun which will +get so prominent, and telling the story as it was told to me.</p> + +<p>Although not born at Canterbury, I look upon it as my native town, my +city of adoption. My earliest remembrances are of the place; my +childhood and youth were spent there; and, although I was then for a few +years absent, it was for that stormy, stirring time, when life is +wrapped up in persons and not in places, when the mere scene in which +the drama is played out leaves barely an impression upon the mind, so +all-absorbing is the interest in the performers. That time over, I +returned to Canterbury as to my home, and hope, beneath the shadow of +its stately towers, to pass tranquilly down the hill of life, whose +ascent I there made with such eager, strong young steps.</p> + +<p>Dear old Canterbury! It is indeed a town to love with all one's heart, +as it lies, sleeping, as it were, amidst its circle of smiling +hop-covered hills, with its glorious cathedral looking so solemnly down +upon it, with its quiet courts, its shady, secluded nooks and corners, +its quaint, old-fashioned houses, with their many gables and projecting +eaves, and its crumbling but still lofty walls, it gives me somehow the +idea of a perfect haven of rest and peace. It, like me, has seen its +stormy times: Briton, Dane, and Saxon have struggled fiercely before its +walls. It, too, has had its proud dreams, its lofty aspirations; but +they are all over now, and it is, like myself, contented to pass its +days in quiet, resting upon its old associations, and with neither wish +nor anticipation of change in the tranquil tenour of its way.</p> + +<p>I was not, as I have said, born in the town, but went there very +young—so young that I have no remembrance of any earlier time.</p> + +<p>We lived in a large, rambling, old-fashioned house in a back lane. In a +little court before it stood some lime-trees, which, if they helped to +make the front darker and more dismal than it would otherwise have been, +had the good effect of shutting it out from the bad company into which +it had fallen.</p> + +<p>It had at one time been a place of great pretension, and belonged, +doubtless, to some country magnate, and before the little houses in the +narrow lane had sprung up and hemmed it in, it may have had a cheerful +appearance; but, at the time I speak of, the external aspect was +undeniably gloomy. But behind it was very different. There was a lawn +and large garden, at the end of which the Stour flowed quietly along, +and we children were never tired of watching the long streamer-like +green weeds at the bottom waving gently in the current, and the trout +darting here and there among them, or lying immovable, apparently +watching us, until at the slightest noise or motion they would dart away +too quickly for the eye to follow them.</p> + +<p>Inside, it was a glorious home for us, with its great old-fashioned hall +with dark wainscoting and large stags' heads all round it, which seemed +to be watching us children from their eyeless sockets; and its vast +fireplace, with iron dogs, where, in the old days, a fire sufficient for +the roasting of a whole bullock, might have been piled up; with its +grand staircase, with heavy oak balustrades, lit by a great window large +enough for an ordinary church; with its long passages and endless +turnings and backstairs in unexpected places; with all its low, quaint +rooms of every shape except square, and its closets nearly as large as +rooms.</p> + +<p>Oh, it was a delightful house! But very terrible at dusk. Then we would +not have gone along alone those long, dark passages for worlds; for we +knew that the bogies, and other strange things of which our old nurse +told us, would be sure to be lurking and upon the watch.</p> + +<p>It was a wonderful house for echoes, and at night we would steal from +our beds and creep to the top of the grand staircase, and listen, with +hushed breath, to the almost preternaturally loud tick of the old clock +in the hall, which seemed to us to get louder and louder, till at last +the terrors of the place would be almost too much for us, and, at the +sound of some mouse running behind the wainscoting, we would scamper off +to our beds, and bury our heads beneath the clothes, falling into a +troubled sleep, from which we woke, with terrified starts, until the +welcome approach of day, when, as the sun shone brightly in, we would +pluck up courage and laugh at our night's fright.</p> + +<p>Of my quite young days I have not much to say. My brother Harry, who was +two years older than I, went to the King's School; and Polly—who was as +much my junior—and I were supposed to learn lessons from our mother. +Poor mamma! not much learning, I think, did we get from her. She was +always weak and ailing, and had but little strength or spirits to give +to teaching us. When I was twelve, and Polly consequently ten, we had a +governess in of a day, to teach us and keep us in order; but I am afraid +that she found it hard work, for we were sadly wild, noisy girls—at +least, this was the opinion of our unmarried aunts, who came to stay +periodically with us.</p> + +<p>I have not yet spoken of my father, my dear, dear father. How we loved +him, and how he loved us, I cannot even now trust myself to write. As I +sit at my desk his portrait hangs on the wall before me, and he seems to +be looking down with that bright genial eye, that winning smile which he +wore in life. Not only by us was he loved, almost adored, but all who +came in contact with him were attracted in a similar way. To rich or +poor, ill or in health, to all with whom he was in any way associated, +he was friend and adviser. A large man and somewhat portly, with +iron-grey hair, cut short, and brushed upright off his forehead, a +rather dark complexion, a heavy eyebrow, a light-blue eye, very clear +and penetrating, and the whole face softened and brightened by his +genial smile. Very kind and sympathetic to the poor, the sick, and the +erring; pitilessly severe upon meanness, hypocrisy, and vice. He was a +man of great scientific attainments, and his study was crowded with +books and instruments which related to his favourite pursuits. Upon the +shelves were placed models of steam-engines, electrical machines, +galvanic batteries, air-pumps, microscopes, chemical apparatus, and +numberless other models and machinery of which we could not even guess +the uses. Thick volumes of botanical specimens jostled entomological +boxes and cases, butterfly-nets leant in the corner with telescopes, +retorts stood beneath the table, the drawers of which were filled with a +miscellaneous collection indescribable.</p> + +<p>With us children he was firm, yet very kind, ever ready to put aside his +work to amuse us, especially of a winter's evening, when, dinner over, +he always went into his study, to which we would creep, knock gently at +the door, and when allowed to enter, would sit on stools by his side, +looking into the fire, while he told us marvellous tales of enchanters +and fairies. It was at these times, when we had been particularly +good—or at least when he, who was as glad of an excuse to amuse us as +we were to be amused, pretended that we had been so—that he would take +down his chemicals, or electrical apparatus, and show us startling or +pretty experiments, ending perhaps by entrapping one of us into getting +an unexpected electric shock, and then sending us all laughing up to +bed.</p> + +<p>We always called papa Dr. Ashleigh in company. It was one of mamma's +fancies: she called him so herself, and was very strict about our doing +the same upon grand occasions. We did not like it, and I don't think +papa did either, for he would often make a little funny grimace, as he +generally did when anything rather put him out; but as mamma set her +mind upon it so much, he never made any remark or objection. He was +very, very kind to her, and attentive to her wishes, and likes and +dislikes; but their tastes and characters were as dissimilar as it was +possible for those of any two persons to be.</p> + +<p>She was very fond of papa, and was in her way proud to see him so much +looked up to and admired by other people; but I do not think that she +appreciated him for himself as it were, and would have been far happier +had he been a common humdrum country doctor. She could not understand +his devotion to science, his eager inquiry into every novelty of the +day, and his disregard for society in the ordinary sense of the word; +still less could she understand his untiring zeal in his profession. Why +he should be willing to be called up in the middle of a winter's night, +get upon his horse, and ride ten miles into the country on a sudden +summons to some patient, perhaps so poor that to ask payment for his +visit never even entered into the Doctor's mind, was a thing she could +not understand. Home, and home cares occupied all her thoughts, and it +was to her inexpressibly annoying, when, after taking extreme care to +have the nicest little dinner in readiness for his return from work, he +would come in an hour late, be perfectly unconcerned at his favourite +dish being spoilt, and, indeed, be so completely absorbed in the +contemplation of some critical case in his day's practice, as not even +to notice what there was for dinner, but to eat mechanically whatsoever +was put before him.</p> + +<p>Mamma must have been a very pretty woman when she married Dr. Ashleigh. +Pretty is exactly the word which suits her style of face. A very fair +complexion, a delicate colour, a slight figure, light hair, which then +fell in curls, but which she now wore in bands, with a pretty apology +for a cap on the back of her head. She had not much colour left when I +first remember her, unless it came in a sudden flush; but she was still, +we thought, very pretty, although so delicate-looking. She lay upon the +sofa most of the day, and would seldom have quitted it, had she not been +so restlessly anxious about the various household and nursery details, +that every quarter of an hour she would be off upon a tour of inspection +and supervision through the house. She was very particular about our +dress and manners, and I am sure loved us very much; but from her weak +state of health she could not have us long with her at a time.</p> + +<p>It was one bright summer afternoon, I remember well, when I was rather +more than fourteen years old, we had finished our early dinner, Harry +had started for school, and we had taken our books and gone out to +establish ourselves in our favourite haunt, the summer-house at the end +of the garden. This summer-house was completely covered with creepers, +which climbed all over the roof, and hung in thick festoons and +clusters, almost hiding the woodwork, and making it a perfect leafy +bower; only towards the river we kept it clear. It was so charming to +sit there with our toys or our work and watch the fish, the drifting +weeds and fallen leaves, to wonder which would get out of sight first, +and whether they would catch in the wooden piles of the bridge,—for +there was a bridge over from our garden into the fields beyond, where +our cow Brindle was kept, and where our horses were sometimes turned out +to graze, and make holiday. It was a very happy and peaceful spot. When +we were little, the summer-house was our fairy bower; here we could play +with our dolls, and be queens and princesses without fear of +interruption, and sometimes when Harry was with us, we would be Robinson +Crusoes wrecked on a desert island; here we would store up provisions, +and make feasts, here we would find footprints in the sand, and here +above all we would wage desperate battles with imaginary fleets of +canoes full of savages endeavouring to cross the stream. Harry would +stand courageously in front, and we girls carefully concealing ourselves +from the enemy, would keep him supplied with stones from the magazine, +with which he would pour volleys into the water, to the imaginary terror +of the savages, and the real alarm of our friends the fish. With what +zeal did we throw ourselves into these fights, with what excited shouts +and cries, and what delight we felt when Harry proclaimed the victory +complete and the enemy in full flight!</p> + +<p>As time went on, and the dolls were given up, and we could no longer +believe in savages, and began to think romping and throwing stones +unladylike, although at times very pleasant, the summer-house became our +reading-room, and at last, after we had a governess, our schoolroom in +fine weather. This was not obtained without some opposition upon the +part of mamma, who considered it as an irregular sort of proceeding; but +we coaxed papa into putting in a good word for us, and then mamma, who +was only too glad to see us happy, gave in at once. We had but just gone +out, and after a look down at the river and the fish, and across at the +pretty country beyond, had opened our books with a little sigh of +regret, when we heard a footstep coming down the garden and to our +surprise found it was papa.</p> + +<p>"Now girls," he said, "put on your things as quickly as you can. I am +going over to Mr. Harmer at Sturry, and will take you with me. First +though, we must ask mamma's leave. I have no doubt Miss Harrison here, +will be as glad of a holiday as you are."</p> + +<p>Mamma, however, although she seldom opposed any of papa's plans for our +amusement, raised many objections. Indeed, I had for some time past +noticed that she did not like our visiting at Harmer Place. Upon this +occasion she was particularly averse to our going, and said that I "was +getting too old to associate with a person of such extraordinary +antecedents as——."</p> + +<p>We did not hear who the person was, for papa broke in more sternly than +I had ever before heard him speak to mamma, and said that "he differed +from her entirely: for his part he could see no harm whatever in our +going, and that, at any rate until we were of an age to judge for +ourselves, no question of the sort could arise."</p> + +<p>Mamma, directly she saw he was in earnest, said no more, and we set out +soon afterwards, with the understanding that we should most probably not +be back until evening.</p> + +<p>Although neither Polly nor I ever made any remark to each other about +that conversation, we—or at least I can answer for myself—were not the +less astonished at it. It seemed perfectly inexplicable to me. What +objection could there be to our going to the Harmers? I was, as I have +said, past fourteen, and was beginning to think and reason about all +sorts of things, and this was a problem which I tried in vain for a long +time to solve to my satisfaction. How I pondered the matter over in +every light, but ever without success. Mamma had said it was a person. +Now, person generally means a woman, and the only women at Harmer Place +were the two Miss Harmers. Had it been a principle mamma objected to, I +could have understood it, for the Miss Harmers were bigoted Catholics. +Not that that would have made any difference with papa, who looked at +these matters with a very latitudinarian eye. "In my opinion," I have +heard him say, "the sect to which a man belongs makes but little +difference, if he does but do his best according to his belief."</p> + +<p>And I remember that in after years, when we had suffered much, he warned +us not to blame a creed for the acts of its professors. "History has +shown," he would say, "that a bigot, whether he be Catholic, Protestant, +or Mussulman, will be equally a cruel persecutor of others, equally +ready to sacrifice everything which he believes to stand in the way of +his Church."</p> + +<p>I mention this here because I should be very sorry that the feelings of +any one who may ever come to read this story of mine should be hurt, or +that it should be taken to be an attack or even an implication against a +particular form of worship.</p> + +<p>I knew then that although papa objected to the extreme opinions which +the Miss Harmers held, and which had been caused by the exceptional life +which they had led, still the antecedents, to which mamma alluded, could +be no question of religion. And yet the only other female at Harmer +Place was Sophy Needham, the pretty girl we so often met there. She was +an orphan village child, to whom Mr. Harmer had taken such a fancy that +he had sent her, at his own expense, to a London school, and had her +constantly staying at the house with him. But, of course, it could not +be Sophy; for I was quite sure that the fact of her having been a +village girl would not make the slightest difference in either papa's or +mamma's eyes, so far as our associating with her went; and in other +respects there could be no objection, for she was a particularly quiet, +retiring girl, and was two years older than myself.</p> + +<p>The objection, then, did not appear to apply to any one at Harmer Place, +and I puzzled myself in vain upon the subject; and indeed it was not for +some years afterwards that the mystery was solved, or that I found out +that it was indeed Sophy Needham to whom mamma had alluded. There is no +reason why I should make a mystery of it in this journal of mine, which +will be more easily understood by making the matter clear at once, and I +will therefore, before I go on with my own story, relate the history of +the Harmers as nearly as I can as it was told to me.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II.</h2> + +<h3>THE HARMERS OF HARMER PLACE.</h3> + + +<p>The Harmers of Harmer Place, although of ancient descent, could yet +hardly be ranked among the very old Kentish families, for they could +trace back their history very little beyond the commencement of the +reign of Queen Elizabeth, of pious and Protestant memory. About that +period it is ascertained that they were small landed proprietors, +probably half gentry, half farmers. All documentary and traditional +history goes to prove that the Harmers of those days were a stiff-necked +race, and that their consciences were by no means of the same plastic +nature as those of the great majority of their neighbours. They could +not, for the life of them, see why—because the Royal family had all of +a sudden come to the conclusion that the old Roman religion, in which +their fore-fathers had for so many centuries worshipped, was after all +wrong, that therefore the whole nation was bound to make the same +discovery at the same moment.</p> + +<p>So the Harmers clung to the old faith, and were looked upon with +grievous disfavour in consequence by the authorities for the time being. +Many were the domiciliary visits paid them, and grievous were the fines +inflicted upon them for nonconformity. Still, whether from information +privately sent to them previous to these researches, or whether from the +superior secrecy and snugness of their "Priest's chamber," certain it +is, that although frequently denounced and searched, no priest or +emissary of papacy was ever found concealed there; and so, although +constantly harassed and vexed, they were suffered to remain in +possession of their estate.</p> + +<p>As generation of Harmers succeeded generation, they continued the same +stiff-necked race, clinging to their old tenets, and hardening their +hearts to all inducements to desert them. Over and over again they went +through "troublous times," especially when those God-fearing and +enlightened Puritans domineered it over England. In after reigns +difficulties arose, but the days of persecution were over then, and they +had nothing to undergo comparable to their former trials.</p> + +<p>It would have been naturally supposed that as at the commencement of the +reign of Elizabeth the Harmers were by no means a wealthy race, they +would speedily have been shorn of all the little property they then +possessed. But it was not so. The more they were persecuted so much the +more they flourished, and from mere farmers they speedily rose to the +rank of county families.</p> + +<p>One reason, doubtless, for their immunity from more than comparatively +petty persecutions, such as fines and imprisonments, was, that the +Harmers never took any part in political affairs; neither in plots, nor +risings, nor civil wars, were they ever known actively to interfere.</p> + +<p>As the Harmers were in other respects an obstinate, quarrelsome race, +stubborn in will, strong in their likes and dislikes, it was singular +that they should never have actively bestirred themselves in favour of +the cause which they all had so strongly at heart. The popular belief on +the matter was, that a settled and traditional line of policy had been +recommended, and enforced upon the family, by their priests; namely, to +keep quite neutral in politics, in order that there might be at least +one house in the country—and that, from its proximity to the sea-coast, +peculiarly suitable to the purpose,—where, in cases of necessity, a +secure hiding-place could be relied on. Mother Church is very good to +her obedient children; and if the Harmers gave up their personal +feelings for her benefit, and sheltered her ministers in time of peril, +she no doubt took care that in the long run they should not be losers. +And so, while their Roman Catholic neighbours threw themselves into +plots and parties, and lost house and land, and not uncommonly life, the +Harmers rode quietly through the gale, thriving more and more under the +small persecutions they suffered for the faith's sake. And thus it +happened that going into troubles as small proprietors in the reign of +Elizabeth, they came out of them in that of George, owners of a large +estate and a rambling old mansion in every style of architecture.</p> + +<p>After that date, persecution having ceased, and "Priests' chambers" +being no longer useful, the Harmers ceased to enlarge their boundaries, +and lived retired lives on their property, passing a considerable +portion of their time on the Continent.</p> + +<p>Robert Harmer had, contrary to the usual custom of his ancestors, six +children—four sons and two daughters. Edward was, of course, intended +to inherit the family property, and was brought up in accordance with +the strictest traditions of his race; Robert was also similarly +educated, in order to be fitted to take his brother's place should +Edward not survive his father, or die leaving no heirs; Gregory was +intended for the priesthood; and Herbert, the youngest of all, was left +to take his chance in any position which the influence of his family or +Church might obtain for him.</p> + +<p>Herbert Harmer, however, was not so ready as the rest of his family to +submit his judgment without question to that of others; and having, when +about sixteen, had what he conceived an extremely heavy and unfair +penance imposed upon him for some trifling offence, he quitted his home, +leaving a letter behind him stating his intention of never returning to +it. Herbert Harmer was not of the stuff of which a docile son of Holy +Church is made; of a warm and affectionate disposition, and a naturally +buoyant, joyous frame of mind, the stern and repressive discipline to +which he was subjected, and the monotonous existence he led in his +father's house, seemed to him the height of misery.</p> + +<p>The lad, when he turned his back on home, knew little of the world. He +had lived the life almost of a recluse, never stirring beyond the +grounds of the mansion except to attend mass at the Roman Catholic +chapel at Canterbury, and this only upon grand occasions, as the family +confessor, who acted also as his tutor, resided in the village, and +ordinarily performed the service at the chapel attached to the place.</p> + +<p>Companions he had none. Gregory, the brother next to him in age, was +away in Italy studying for the priesthood; Cecilia and Angela he had +seen but seldom, as they also were abroad, being educated in a convent; +Edward and Robert were young men nearly ten years older than himself, +and were when at home his father's companions rather than his, and both +were of grave taciturn disposition, ascetic and bigoted even beyond the +usual Harmer type.</p> + +<p>Thrown therefore almost entirely upon his own resources, Herbert had +sought what companionship he best could. Books, first and best; but of +these his stock was limited. Religious and controversial treatises, +church histories, and polemical writings formed the principal part of +the library, together with a few volumes of travel and biography which +had somehow found their way there. On a library so limited as this the +boy could not employ his whole time, but had to seek amusement and +exercise out of doors, and the only companion he had there, was perhaps +of all others the very one with whom he would have been most strictly +forbidden to associate, had their intimacy been guessed at.</p> + +<p>Robert Althorpe was the son of a tenant on the estate, and was a man of +thirty or thereabouts. Originally a wild, reckless lad, he had, as many +an English boy has done before and since, ran away to sea, and, after +nearly fifteen years absence, had lately returned with only one arm, +having lost the other in a naval engagement. On his return he had been +received with open arms by his father, as at that time (that is, in the +year 1795) all England was wild with our naval glory. And now Robert +Althorpe passed his time, sitting by the fire smoking, or wandering +about to relate his tales of adventure among the farmhouses of the +country, at each of which he was received as a welcome guest.</p> + +<p>The sailor took a particular fancy to young Herbert Harmer, whose +ignorance of the world and eager desire to hear something of it, and +whose breathless attention to his yarns, amused and gratified him. On +many a summer afternoon, then, when Herbert had finished his prescribed +course of study, he would slip quietly away to meet Robert Althorpe, and +would sit for hours under the trees listening to tales of the world and +life of which he knew so little. Robert had in his period of service +seen much; for those were stirring times. He had taken part in the +victories of Howe and Jervis, and in the capture of the numerous West +Indian isles. He had fought, too, under the invincible Nelson at the +Nile, in which battle he had lost his arm. He had been stationed for two +years out on the Indian coast, and Herbert above all loved to hear of +that wonderful country, then the recent scene of the victories of Clive +and Hastings.</p> + +<p>When therefore he left his home, the one fixed idea in Herbert Harmer's +mind was, that first of all he would go to sea, and that then he would +some day visit India; both which resolutions he carried into effect.</p> + +<p>It was some ten years after, when the memory of the young brother of +whom they had seen so little had nearly faded from the minds of his +family, that a letter arrived from him, addressed to his father, but +which was opened by his brother Edward as the head of the house, the old +man having been three years before laid in the family vault. Gregory too +was dead, having died years previously of a fever contracted among the +marshes near Rome. The contents of the letter, instead of being hailed +with the delight with which news from a long lost prodigal is usually +greeted, were received with unmingled indignation and horror.</p> + +<p>A solemn family conclave was held in the old library, Edward Harmer at +the head of the table, Father Paul at the foot, and the contents of the +letter were taken into formal consideration. A joint answer was then +drawn up, stating the horror and indignation with which his +communication had been received—that the anathema had been passed +against him, that to them he was dead for ever, and that they regretted +that he had ever been born at all.</p> + +<p>All this was expressed at great length, and with that exceedingly +complicated bitterness of cursing, which is a characteristic of the +Roman Church when roused. At the end, each of the family signed his or +her name, and the priest added his, with a cross affixed there to, as a +token for ever against him.</p> + +<p>The contents of the letter which had caused all this commotion of +spirit, were briefly as follows.</p> + +<p>Herbert had gone to sea, and had for two years voyaged to different +parts of the world. At the end of that time he had arrived in India, and +there leaving his ship, had determined to cast his lot. After various +employments, he had finally obtained a situation as a clerk to a planter +up the country, whose daughter he had three years afterwards married; he +was now doing well, and hoped that his father would forgive his having +ran away from home.</p> + +<p>So far the letter was satisfactory enough, it was the final paragraph +which had caused the explosion of family wrath against him—namely, that +his wife was a Protestant, and that having carefully examined the Bible +with her, he had come to the conclusion that the Reformed Church more +closely carried out the precepts and teachings of that book than his +own. That he was afraid this would prove a serious annoyance to his +father; but that, as he was so far away, and should never be likely to +return to obtrude the new religion he had adopted upon them, he hoped +that it would be no bar to his continuing an amicable correspondence +with them.</p> + +<p>This hope was, as has been seen, not destined to be realized. The answer +was sealed and duly sent off, and henceforth Herbert Harmer, as far as +his family was concerned, ceased to have any existence. It was nearly +twenty years before they again heard of him, and then the news came that +he had returned to England, a widower, bringing his only son, a young +man of about twenty-one years old, with him; that he had purchased a +house in the neighbourhood of London, and that he did not intend to +return to India.</p> + +<p>Very shortly after his return, a letter from him was received by his +elder brother, but immediately it was opened, and the first line showed +from whom it came, it was closed unread, resealed, and returned to the +writer.</p> + +<p>During the thirty years which Herbert Harmer had been absent, the old +place had certainly not improved. Edward and Robert had both been +married, but were, like their brother, widowers. Edward never had +children. Robert had several born to him, but all had died quite young. +The sisters had remained single.</p> + +<p>It was a gloomy house in those days. They all lived together there. +Father Paul was long since dead, and Father Gabriel literally +reigned in his stead—a man even more gloomy and bigoted than his +predecessors—chosen probably on that account, as being in keeping with +the character of the people to whom he ministered. An unhappy family; +unhappy in their lives and dispositions, unhappy in the view they had +taken of religion and its duties, very unhappy—and this was the only +count to which they themselves would have pleaded guilty—very unhappy +because the old line of Harmer would die with them, and that there was +none of the name to inherit after them; for that Herbert the apostate +should succeed them, that a Protestant Harmer should dwell where his +Catholic ancestors had so long lived, was never even for a moment +discussed as a possibility: the very idea would have been a desecration, +at which their dead fathers would have moved in their graves. Better, a +thousand times better, that the old place should go to strangers. And so +Edward's will was made; everything was done that could be done, and they +dwelt in gloomy resignation, waiting for the end.</p> + +<p>That end was to come to some of them sooner than they expected.</p> + +<p>Edward and Robert Harmer had one interest, one worldly amusement, in +which they indulged. As young men they had been for some time together +at Genoa, and in that town of mariners they had become passionately +attached to the sea. This taste they had never lost, and they still +delighted occasionally to go out for a day's sailing, in a small +pleasure yacht, which they kept at the little fishing-village of Herne +Bay. She was an open boat, of about eight tons, and was considered a +good sea-boat for her size. In this, with two men to sail her, under the +command of an old one-armed sailor, whom they employed because he had +once lived on the estate, they would go out for hours, once a week or +so; not on fine sunny days—in them they had no pleasure—but when the +wind blew fresh, and the waves broke a tawny yellow on the sand, and the +long banks off the coast were white with foaming breakers. It was a +strange sight in such weather, to see the two men, now from fifty to +sixty years old, and very similar in face and figure, taking their +places in the stern of their little craft, while the boatmen, in their +rough-weather coats and fearnought hats, hoisted the sails and prepared +for sea.</p> + +<p>Very quiet they would sit, while the spray dashed over them, and the +boat tore across the surface of the water, with a smile half glad, half +defiant, on their dark features, till the one-armed captain would say, +touching his hat, "It is getting wilder, your honours; I think we had +better put about." Then they would give an assenting gesture, and the +boat's head would be turned to shore, where they would arrive, wet +through and storm-beaten, but with a deep joy in their hearts, such as +they experienced at no other time.</p> + +<p>But once they went out, and came back alive no more. It happened thus. +It was the 3rd of March, and the morning was overcast and dull; there +was wind, though not strong, coming in short sudden puffs, and then +dying away again. The brothers started early, and drove over, through +the village of Herne, to the little fishing-hamlet in the bay, and +stopped at the cottage of the captain, as he termed himself, of their +little yacht. The old sailor came out to the door.</p> + +<p>"You are not thinking of going out to-day, your honours, are you?"</p> + +<p>"Why not?" Edward Harmer asked; "don't you think there will be wind +enough?"</p> + +<p>"Aye, aye, your honour, wind enough, and more than enough before long; +there is a gale brewing up there;" and the old man shaded his eyes with +his remaining hand, and looked earnestly at the clouds.</p> + +<p>"Pooh, pooh, man!" Robert Harmer said; "there is no wind to speak of +yet, although I think with you that it may come on to blow as the sun +goes down. What then? It is nearly easterly, so if we sail straight out +we can always turn and run back again before the sea gets up high enough +to prevent us. You know we are always ready to return when you give the +word."</p> + +<p>The old sailor made no further remonstrance, but summoning the two young +men who generally accompanied them, he busied himself in carrying down +the oars, and making preparations to launch the little boat which was to +carry them to where the yacht was moored about a hundred yards out, with +many quiet disapproving shakes of his head as he did so. They were soon +in, and launched through the waves, which were breaking with a long, +heavy, menacing roar. It was not rough yet, but even in the quarter of +an hour which had elapsed between their arrival at the village, and +reaching the side of the yacht, the aspect of the weather had changed +much; the gusts of wind came more frequently, and with far greater +force, whitening the surface of the water, and tearing off the tops of +the waves in sheets of spray. The dull heavy clouds overhead were +beginning to break up suddenly, as if stirred by some mighty force +within themselves, great openings and rents seemed torn asunder in the +dark curtain, and then as suddenly closed up again; but through these +momentary openings, the scud could be seen flying rapidly past in the +higher regions of the air.</p> + +<p>On reaching the side of the yacht, which was rolling heavily on the +rising waves, the one-armed sailor again glanced at the brothers to see +if they noticed these ominous signs, and if they made any change in +their determination; but they gave no signs of doing so. Their faces +were both set in that expression of stern pleasure which they always +wore on occasions like this, and with another disapproving shake of his +head, even more decided than those in which he had before indulged, he +turned to assist the men in fastening the boat they had come in to the +moorings to await their return, in loosing the sails, and taking a +couple of reefs in them, and preparing for a start.</p> + +<p>In another five minutes the little craft was far out at sea, ploughing +her way through the ever increasing waves, dashing them aside from her +bows in sheets of spray, and leaving a broad white track behind her.</p> + +<p>The wind was getting up every minute, and blew with a hoarse roar across +the water.</p> + +<p>Before they had been gone fifteen minutes, the old sailor felt that it +was indeed madness to go farther. He saw that the force of the wind was +already more than the boat could bear, and was momentarily increasing, +and that the sea was fast getting up under its power.</p> + +<p>But as his counsel had been already once disregarded, he determined to +let the first order for return come from the brothers, and he glanced +for a moment from the sails and the sea to the two men sitting beside +him. There was no thought of turning back there. Their lips were hard +set, yet half smiling; their eyes wide open, as if to take in the +tumultuous joy of the scene; their hands lay clenched on their knees. +They had evidently no thought of danger, no thought of anything but +deep, wild pleasure.</p> + +<p>The old sailor bit his lips. He looked again over the sea, he looked at +the sails, and at the lads crouched down in the bow with consternation +strongly expressed on their faces; he glanced at the dark green water, +rushing past the side, and sometimes as she lay over combing in over the +gunwale; he felt the boat quiver under the shock as each succeeding wave +struck her, and he knew she could bear no more. He therefore again +turned round to the impassive figures beside him, and made his usual +speech.</p> + +<p>"Your honours, it is time to go about."</p> + +<p>But this time so absorbed were they in their sensations, that they did +not hear him, and he had to touch them to attract their notice, and to +shout in their ears, "Your honours, we must go about."</p> + +<p>They started at the touch, and rose like men waked suddenly from a +dream. They cast a glance round, and seemed to take in for the first +time the real state of things, the raging wind, the flying scud, the +waves which rose round the boat, and struck her with a force that +threatened to break her into fragments. And then Edward said, "Yes! by +all means, if indeed it is not already too late. God forgive us for +bringing you out into it; <i>peccavi, culpa mea</i>." And then the brothers, +influenced not by fear for themselves, but for the lives of those whom +they had brought into danger, commenced rapidly uttering, in a low +voice, the prayers of their Church for those in peril.</p> + +<p>The prayer was never to be finished. The men sprang with alacrity to the +ropes when the order was given, "Prepare to go about;" but whether their +fingers were numb, or what it was which went wrong, no one will ever +know. The boat obeyed her rudder, and came up into the wind. There was a +momentary lull, and then as her head payed round towards the shore, a +fresh gust struck her with even greater force than ever. Some rope +refused to run, it was but for an instant, but that instant sealed the +fate of the boat; over she lay till her sail all but touched the water, +and the sea poured in over her side. For a moment she seemed to try to +recover herself, and then a wild cry went up to heaven, and the boat lay +bottom upwards in the trough of the waves.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III.</h2> + +<h3>"L'HOMME PROPOSE, DIEU DISPOSE."</h3> + + +<p>Mr. Herbert Harmer was sitting at breakfast reading the <i>Times</i>,—a +tall, slight man, of from forty-five to fifty, with a benevolent +expressive face, very sunburnt; a broad forehead, a well-defined mouth, +and a soft, thoughtful eye—careless as to attire, as most Anglo-Indians +are, and yet, in appearance as in manner, an unmistakable gentleman.</p> + +<p>Opposite to him sat his son, good-looking, but not so prepossessing a +man as his father. He was about twenty-two, and looked, contrary to what +might have been expected from his birth and bringing up in a hot +climate, younger than he really was. His complexion was very fair, an +inheritance probably from his mother, as all the Harmers were dark: his +face, too, was much less bronzed than his father's, the year he had +spent in England having nearly effaced the effects of the Indian sun. He +was of about middle height, and well formed; but he had a languid, +listless air, which detracted much from the manliness of his appearance. +His face was a good-looking, almost a handsome one, and yet it gave the +impression of there being something wanting. That something was +character. The mouth and chin were weak and indecisive—not absolutely +bad, only weak,—but it was sufficient to mar the general effect of his +face.</p> + +<p>He was toying with a spoon, balancing it on the edge of an empty coffee +cup, when a sudden exclamation from his father startled him, and the +spoon fell with a crash.</p> + +<p>"What is the matter?"</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer gave no answer for some time, but continued to read in +silence the paragraph which had so strangely excited him. He presently +laid the paper down on his knees, seemed lost for some time in deep +thought, and then took out his handkerchief and blew his nose violently.</p> + +<p>"My dear father," the young man said, for once fairly roused by all this +emotion and mystery, "what in the name of goodness is the matter? You +quite alarm me. The bank has not broken, has it? or anything terrible +happened?"</p> + +<p>"A very sad affair, Gerald; a very sad affair. Your uncles are both +drowned."</p> + +<p>"By Jove!"</p> + +<p>This being the only appropriate remark that occurred to Gerald Harmer, +there was silence again; and then, seeing that his father was not +disposed to say more, the young man stretched out his hand for the +paper, and read the paragraph which contained the intelligence.</p> + +<blockquote><p>"<span class="smcap">Appalling Accident On The Kentish Coast.</span>—The neighbourhood +of Canterbury has been thrown into a state of consternation by +an accident which has deprived one of the oldest and most +highly-respected families in the county of its heads. The two +Messrs. Harmer, of Harmer Place, near Canterbury, had rashly +ventured out from Herne Bay, with three boatmen, in a small +yacht belonging to them, just before the awful tempest, which +while we write is still raging, broke upon the coast. The storm +came on so rapidly that it is supposed that they were unable to +return. At present nothing certain is known concerning the +catastrophe; but late in the afternoon, a small black object +was observed by one of the Whitstable coast-guard men, drifting +past at a considerable distance from shore. A telescope being +brought to bear upon it, it was at once seen to be either a +large spar or a boat bottom upwards, with a human figure still +clinging to it. In spite of the fury of the gale, a band of +noble fellows put off in one of the large fishing-boats, and +succeeded in bringing off the only survivor of the five men who +had embarked in the ill-fated craft. He proved to be the sailor +who generally managed Mr. Harmer's little yacht. He is a +one-armed man, and this fact, singularly enough, was the means +of his life being saved; for he had succeeded in fastening the +hook at the end of his wooden arm so firmly in the keel of the +yacht, that, even after his strength had failed, and he could +no longer have clung on, this singular contrivance remained +secure, and kept him in his place, in spite of all the violence +of the waves. He was nearly insensible when first rescued, and +still lies in a precarious state, and has not yet been able to +give any details of the mournful catastrophe. The bodies of the +elder Mr. Harmer, and of one of the boatmen, were washed ashore +this morning, and experienced sailors anticipate that the +remaining bodies will come ashore with this evening's tide. +Several men are on the look-out for them. The Harmers of Harmer +Place are one of the oldest of the Kentish families, and were +strict adherents to the Romish persuasion. It is believed that +no male heir remains, and it is confidently stated that the +large property will go eventually towards the aggrandisement of +the Church to which they belonged."</p></blockquote> + +<p>"Is that last part true?" Gerald asked. "Do we get the property, or does +it go to the priests?"</p> + +<p>"We shall have none of it, Gerald: of that you may be quite sure. The +priests have taken good care of that point. They would never allow the +property to fall into Protestant hands if they could help it; and my +poor brothers were, as far as I can hear, mere puppets in their hands. +No, there is not the least chance of that. I do not say that it would +not have been useful had it been otherwise; for, as you know, owing to +the troubles and riots I lost a good deal of money the last three years +we were in India; and although I have enough left for us to live upon +comfortably, Harmer Place would have been no bad addition. However, that +was not to be. I have always known that there was not be the slightest +probability of such a thing, so I shall feel no disappointment about the +matter."</p> + +<p>"Do you mean to go down to the funeral?" Gerald asked.</p> + +<p>"Yes. Yes, I shall go, certainly. My poor brothers and I have never been +friends; have not seen each other for thirty years; indeed, even as a +boy I saw next to nothing of them; however, the least I can do is to +follow them to the grave. I shall go down to-morrow." After a pause, Mr. +Harmer added, "I shall get Ransome to go down with me to be present at +the reading of the will. I know it is of no use, as everything is sure +to be done in legal form; still, as I have no desire to lose even the +remotest chance of saving from the priests a property that has been in +the hands of the family for centuries, I will take every possible +precaution. I shall therefore take Ransome down with me. I think you may +as well stay here until I return: it will be a painful and unpleasant +business."</p> + +<p>Gerald had not the least wish to go. "He saw no advantage in putting +himself in the way of being snubbed, perhaps insulted, and only to see a +fine property that ought to come to them handed over to found +monasteries and convents."</p> + +<p>So on the next morning Herbert Harmer, or Mr. Harmer, as he should now +be called, took his seat on the top of the Canterbury coach, with Mr. +Ransome, his solicitor, a shrewd man of business, beside him.</p> + +<p>It was late in the evening when the coach drew up at the "Fountain," at +that time one of the most famous posting-inns in England.</p> + +<p>"You stop here to-night, gentlemen?" the landlord asked.</p> + +<p>"This gentleman will stop here," Mr. Harmer answered. "I want a +conveyance in half an hour's time to take me on to Harmer Place."</p> + +<p>The two gentlemen entered the hotel, and had some dinner, and then when +the vehicle which was to convey him was announced to be in readiness, +Mr. Harmer prepared to start, saying, "I am afraid I shall meet no warm +welcome, Ransome. I think you may as well order a bed-room for me; very +likely I shall return here to-night. If I do not, come over early +to-morrow morning."</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer leaned gloomily back in the carriage as it passed out through +the town on to the road to Sturry, and mused sadly about old times. How +different, and yet in some respects how similar, was his position now to +what it was when he last trod that road thirty years back. Then, no one +had loved him; his absence would be little missed, and even less +regretted. And now, when he returned to his old home after so long an +absence, he could assuredly expect to be received with no pleasure, with +no warm welcome. His sisters he remembered but faintly; he had not seen +them more than three or four times, and they were then slim, pale girls, +unnaturally constrained in manner, with thin pinched lips and downcast +eyes. It was a short drive: in a quarter of an hour or so they passed +through the lodge-gates, the gravel crunched under the wheels for +another minute or two, and then there was a stop. Mr. Harmer alighted. +The front of the house was dark, not a single light gleamed in any of +the windows, all was hushed and quiet. He pulled at the great bell; it +sounded with a loud empty clang, which seemed to grate unnaturally in +the still night air.</p> + +<p>"Stop here," he said to the driver. "I may return in a quarter of an +hour."</p> + +<p>The door was opened and a faint light streamed out. "Who is it?" a voice +asked.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Herbert Harmer," he said, entering. There was a slight exclamation +of astonishment, and then the door closed behind him. Mr. Harmer looked +round; the old hall, seen by the faint light which the servant carried +in his hand, was even blacker and more gloomy than he remembered it as a +boy. He followed the man, who in silence led the way across it to a +small sitting-room, and who, lighting some candles standing on the +mantlepiece, then withdrew, saying he would inform his mistresses that +Mr. Harmer was here.</p> + +<p>It was some minutes before Herbert Harmer heard any other sound than the +ticking of a clock against the wall, then the door opened and his two +sisters entered, not quite so tall as he had expected to see them, not +perhaps so old, and yet with faces which disappointed him, faces which +no human love had ever brightened, no loving fingers caressingly +stroked, no lover's lips ever kissed. Faces expressing an abnegation of +self, indeed, but without that love and charity for others which should +have taken the place of self. Faces thin and pale, as by long vigil and +fasting; and eyes which seemed at times to reach your very thoughts, and +then to droop to avoid the answering glance which might seek to fathom +theirs. Habitually, perhaps from a long residence in convents abroad, +their heads were slightly bent, and their eyes fixed on the ground, +while their arms lay usually folded one on the other. Both were singular +instances of the manner in which natures, naturally fiery and wilful, +can be completely subdued and kept down by severe discipline and long +training, and of how a warm and perhaps affectionate disposition can be +warped and constrained by the iron trammels of an ascetic and joyless +life.</p> + +<p>When they had entered and the door was closed, they stood side by side +in exactly the same attitude, apparently not looking at their brother, +but waiting for him to speak. As he did not, Cecilia the eldest broke +the silence in a harsh, monotonous voice, speaking like one who has +learnt a lesson, and who only delivers what she has got by rote.</p> + +<p>"So you have come back at last, Herbert Harmer, to the house you have +disgraced, to the home you have forfeited. We expected you; what would +you have?"</p> + +<p>"Nothing," Mr. Harmer answered. "I want nothing; I am come only to +attend the funeral of my dead brothers."</p> + +<p>"And would you, Herbert Harmer—apostate to the faith of your +ancestors—would you dare to follow those who died faithful to their +God? They cast you off in their life, and their dead bodies would bleed +if you approached them."</p> + +<p>"Cecilia," Mr. Harmer said, much shocked, "to what end these useless +recriminations? I have trodden my path; those who are gone have followed +theirs. We shall each answer before our Maker. Why should we make +earthly quarrels about heavenly matters? Rather let us be friends, let +us forget the long unfortunate past, let us be as brother and sisters to +each other, and let me try to fill to you the place of those who are +gone."</p> + +<p>For the space of a minute there was no answer, and then the elder sister +again spoke, but in a changed tone, and a voice in which some natural +feeling struggled.</p> + +<p>"It cannot be, Herbert. We have chosen, as you say, opposite paths, and +we must keep them to the end. I do not—we do not—wish to think +unkindly of you; we will try and forget what cause we have for doing so. +Even you must feel sorrow to know that the old walls which have held the +Harmers so long, will, at our death, hold them no longer. For I tell +you, brother, that it will be so. He who has gone has left us a life +interest in part of the property, as trustees only for the good cause, +and at our death it all goes to support the glory and power of the true +Church. I tell you this that you may cherish no false hopes of what is +not to be."</p> + +<p>"I did not, sister. Knowing the Harmers as I know them, I was sure that +neither I nor mine would ever dwell here. Still, I owe it to myself and +my son to be present when that will is read. It is better to know for +certain that the matter is final and irrevocable."</p> + +<p>"The will will be opened and read after the funeral, which will take +place at half-past eleven to-morrow. You are perfectly welcome to be +present: indeed, it is better so."</p> + +<p>"I have my legal adviser with me; I should wish him to accompany me."</p> + +<p>"Certainly; he will see that everything has been done in perfectly legal +form. Is there anything else you would say?"</p> + +<p>"Nothing," Mr. Harmer said; and preparing to take leave, he approached +the door, near which they were standing. He stopped before them, and +then, with a sudden impulse, held out a hand to each.</p> + +<p>"Oh, sisters, why should this be? Why, after so many years, should we +meet and part thus? Can we not be friends? Can we not yet love each +other? Can we not be happy together, and worship God in our own ways?"</p> + +<p>Touched by the voice and manner, and by the warm, loving tone—such as +for years had not fallen upon their ears—perhaps at that moment, for +nearly the first time in their lives, they obtained a glimpse of what +life might have been to them, but was not and now never could be; the +floodgates of the hearts of those two cold, self-restrained women were +all at once broken down, as never before they had been, and, with a +passion of tears, they threw themselves simultaneously on their +brother's neck.</p> + +<p>It was not for long. Training and habit soon reasserted their power, and +they stood before him again, calm, but still tearful and shaken.</p> + +<p>"We have been wrong, brother; but no, not so. It has been good for us to +have met you. I believe you to be a good man. I believe now that you are +sincere, although grievously mistaken. If, as will probably be the case, +after to-morrow we should not see you again—for our present intention +is at once to retire from the world—we shall always think of you with +kindness, as of the only being in it in whom we have an interest; we +shall remember you with prayers to God, that you may yet see your errors +and be saved; and now, good-bye."</p> + +<p>"I shall see you to-morrow?" Mr. Harmer asked.</p> + +<p>"Yes, after the funeral." And they were gone.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer again took his place in the carriage, and returned sad and +thoughtful to Canterbury.</p> + +<p>At a quarter after eleven the next day, Mr. Harmer and his solicitor +alighted from a carriage at the lodge gates, and, sending the vehicle +back to the town, entered the grounds.</p> + +<p>"I think you were wrong to come so early, Ransome. The service will last +at least two hours. You had much better have taken my advice, and come +on by yourself later."</p> + +<p>"I shall do very well, Mr. Harmer. I can walk about the grounds. I see +there are a good many people about, and I am sure to find some one to +talk to till it is time for me to come in."</p> + +<p>There were several other persons walking the same way as themselves +towards the house; but they presently met a man coming in the opposite +direction,—an old man, in a rough sailor's suit, with only one arm. +When he came up to them he stopped, looked Mr. Harmer full in the face, +and then took off his hat, saying, "God bless your honour! it's many a +long year since I saw you. Do you not remember Robert Althorpe?"</p> + +<p>"Bless me!" Mr. Harmer exclaimed, shaking the old sailor warmly by the +hand. "I am indeed glad to see you, old friend. This, Mr. Ransome, is a +very old friend of mine; I may say the first I ever had. So you are +still here?"</p> + +<p>"Aye, aye, your honour; but I live at Herne now. I came over here late +last night, and heard you had been up at the house in the evening; so I +thought you would be coming to the funeral this morning, and made bold +to wait here in hopes of seeing you."</p> + +<p>"You did quite right, and I am very glad that I met you. But there, the +time is getting on, and I must not wait. Come down to the 'Fountain' +this afternoon, and ask for me; we must have a long talk over old times, +and I will see what can be done to make you comfortable for the future. +This is a dreadful business," he added, as he turned to go up to the +house.</p> + +<p>"Aye, your honour, it is. God knows, I would have saved them if I +could."</p> + +<p>"You!" Mr. Harmer said, stopping suddenly. "What, were you with them? I +remember now that the account said it was a one-armed sailor, but of +course I never thought for a moment of its being you."</p> + +<p>"Aye, your honour, it were me sure enough; but don't let me keep you +now. I will tell you the whole yarn this afternoon."</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer walked away leaving the old sailor with the solicitor, who +had, from the instant when the man said he had been present at the +accident, regarded him with the most lively interest.</p> + +<p>"So you were there, my man," he said. "Well, the day is very cold, I +have some time to wait, and I daresay you have nothing particular to do, +so walk down with me to the village; we shall be able, I have no doubt, +to get a snug room with a good fire, and you shall tell me the whole +story over a glass of grog."</p> + +<p>When Mr. Harmer entered the house, he found the hall, and indeed the +whole dwelling, thronged with the priests and assistants of the Romish +Church, in the full robes of their office. All seemed engaged, and no +one paid much attention to him. In a few minutes a procession was +formed; in the rear of this he took his place, and it then moved with +low chanting through the long passages of the house to the chapel which +adjoined, and indeed formed part of it. Herbert Harmer followed +mechanically, mechanically he took the place assigned to him there, and +listened to the solemn service. As in a dream he saw the chapel hung +with black, and the catafalque containing the coffins of his dead +brothers, and the two black figures kneeling beside them; as if it were +some strange thing in which he had no part or share. His thoughts went +far back, through long years, to the time when he had last heard those +solemn chants and smelt the faint odour of the incense, the tears welled +up in his eyes, and his thoughts were still of the days of his +childhood, when a stir around him roused him, and he saw that the +service was over. In a few minutes the chapel was emptied, and all +returned into the dwelling. Here a servant informed him that a gentleman +was awaiting him in the library. Opening the door, he beckoned to Mr. +Ransome to follow him, and together they went into the drawing-room. +Here he found his sisters, and several of the higher clergy who had +assisted at the ceremonial, assembled.</p> + +<p>On his entrance his sisters rose to meet him, and greeted him with +formal ceremony; but Mr. Harmer thought that, under their impassive +exterior, he could perceive that they were much moved; and that, +although thoroughly agreeing as they did in the propriety and justice of +the deed, they were yet sorry at heart for the coming sentence which was +to cut off their only surviving brother from all share in the old family +property. Miss Harmer then shortly introduced her brother to those +present, who received him courteously, being far too well bred men of +the world to betray the least exultation over a conquered enemy who +could no longer be dangerous, and towards whom, therefore, a generous +magnanimity might be safely displayed.</p> + +<p>A few general remarks suitable to the occasion were exchanged, and then +at a sign from Miss Harmer, all took seats round the room, and a quiet +business-looking man, evidently a solicitor, approached the table with a +legal document in his hand. It was the will of the late Edward Harmer, +which he opened and proceeded to read. Divested of all legal +technicalities, the contents were briefly as follows:—</p> + +<p>After leaving his sisters a life interest in a considerable sum, he +bequeathed the whole remainder to his brother Robert. In the event, +however, of Robert not surviving him, he ordered that the estate should +be sold, and that the proceeds, together with all other property +whatsoever of which he should be possessed—and the amount was large, as +the Harmers had not for years lived up to their income—should be paid +into the hands of two well-known dignitaries of the Roman Catholic +Church, to be expended by them in accordance with an enclosed document.</p> + +<p>When the lawyer had finished, he folded up the will, and, addressing Mr. +Harman, said,—</p> + +<p>"Have you any question you would like to ask? If so I shall be happy to +answer you. This will was drawn up by me some years since at the request +of the testator, who was in good health, mentally and bodily. I was +myself one of the witnesses of his signature; the other witness can be +produced."</p> + +<p>"I have no question to ask," Mr. Harmer said, gravely; "the contents of +the will are precisely such as I had anticipated they would be."</p> + +<p>There was a pause, and the lawyer remarked,—</p> + +<p>"In that case I do not know that there is anything further to be said at +present."</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer turned towards his sister with the intention of saying +farewell, when he was surprised by Mr. Ransome stepping forward and +saying—</p> + +<p>"I have a remark or two to make on behalf of Mr. Harmer in reference to +the document which has just been read."</p> + +<p>There was a little movement of surprise, Mr. Harmer being more +astonished than any one present, and all listened with anxiety for what +was to follow.</p> + +<p>"I admit on behalf of Mr. Harmer that the document which has just been +read is the last testament of the late Mr. Edward Harmer; of that no +question can I suppose arise. By the terms of that will he bequeathes +the whole of his property to his brother Robert, subject to the payment +of the legacies to the Misses Harmer. In the event of Robert not +surviving him, he makes other dispositions of his property. These it is +not necessary to enter into, as that contingency has not arisen. For, +gentlemen, I am in a position to prove to you that Mr. Robert Harmer did +survive his brother; he, therefore, under the will, came into possession +of the property, and as Mr. Robert Harmer has unfortunately died +intestate, at least so I presume, Mr. Herbert Harmer, as heir-at-law, of +course inherits the estate."</p> + +<p>As Mr. Ransome spoke he moved to the door, opened it and called to some +one who was waiting in the hall, and Robert Althorpe entered with his +hat in his hand. No one moved, no one spoke, a stupor of blank dismay +had fallen upon all present. Their faces, which when the will was read, +were bright with irrepressible exultation, now expressed the deepest +consternation. They could hardly believe that the prize which they had +made so sure of was about to be snatched from their grasp.</p> + +<p>"This," Mr. Ransome said, "is Robert Althorpe, the sailor who had charge +of the little yacht belonging to the late Mr. Harmer, and who was the +sole survivor of those who embarked in her. Miss Harmer knows that this +is correct. Be so good, my man, will you, as to tell these ladies and +gentlemen what you told me relative to the death of the Mr. Harmers.</p> + +<p>"Well ladies, and your honours," the sailor said, "when I felt the boat +go over I stuck to her, and never left go. I soon got my head above +water, and clambered on to her bottom. I had hardly got my breath, +before I saw a head come out of the water close by me. I held on to the +keel with my hook, leaned over, and caught him by the hair, and helped +him on to the boat beside me. That was Mr. Robert Harmer. I looked round +again, and thought I saw an arm come up for a moment, but that was all I +saw of any of them, and I don't think one of them ever came up after she +upset. Mr. Robert Harmer was very weak, but he clung with me for nigh +ten minutes, sometimes washed nearly off, and getting weaker and weaker +every minute, and I saw he could not last long. We did not speak, the +waves and the wind were too high, and we were half the time under water; +but I could see the poor gentleman was praying very hard. At last a big +wave came over all, and nearly carried me off, and I had a hard fight to +get back again. When I had time to look round, Mr. Robert Harmer was +gone, and that was the last I ever saw of him. Which I am ready to take +my davy."</p> + +<p>When the sailor had done there was another long silence, and then Mr. +Ransome said,—</p> + +<p>"This, gentlemen, is perfectly conclusive proof that Mr. Robert Harmer +survived his brother, and would be held so in any court of law. It is, I +have no question, a surprise to you, as it is to my client, Mr. Harmer; +indeed, it is only within the last hour that I have been put in +possession of the fact; I am sure, therefore, that Mr. Harmer will not +wish to force upon you any sudden decision; but I would submit to you +that no question can arise either in the point of law or fact. I would +suggest to him that he should retire for an hour and then return for +your answer. In the meantime, merely as a matter of form, I have placed +a person in the hall to keep possession of the place in the name of Mr. +Herbert Harmer, as heir-at-law to his brother the late Mr. Robert +Harmer. The sailor will remain here, and you can interrogate him further +on the subject."</p> + +<p>So saying, and bowing to those present, who had not yet recovered +sufficiently from their dismay to utter a word, he took the almost +stupefied Mr. Harmer by the arm and left the room.</p> + +<p>After they had gone there was a long and animated debate; but the +conclusion at which they most reluctantly arrived, under the advice of +the lawyer who had drawn up the will, was, that there was at present +nothing to do, but to leave Mr. Herbert Harmer in possession, and then, +if upon deliberation and further advice it should be thought right to +bring the case to trial, to do so. And so they all went away, and Mr. +Harmer took possession of the home of his father; but not immediately, +for his sisters asked him to leave them a week to make their +arrangements. He begged them to stay there as long as they wished, and +indeed pressed them to make it their home. This, however, they refused +to do. By the will of their brother they were amply provided for, and +they intended to travel, and perhaps finally to enter a religious house +on the Continent.</p> + +<p>So in a week the old house was empty, and Herbert Harmer entered it as +undisputed master.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV.</h2> + +<h3>THE LAST OF THE HARMERS.</h3> + + +<p>And so in spite of all human precautions and care, the property of the +old Roman Catholic family was not disposed of for the benefit and glory +of Mother Church; but passed into the hands of the Protestant and +apostate younger brother, under whose ownership and care it changed not +a little.</p> + +<p>Not externally; there no great alteration was possible, unless the whole +place had been pulled down and rebuilt, but the thick trees which had +crowded it in, and made it dark and gloomy, were thinned out, so that +the air and light could come in upon it; bright flower-beds took the +place of the masses of shrubbery on the lawn in front, and as far as +could be done, the whole place was cleared and brightened. Inside, much +greater changes were made—there, indeed, the old house was completely +remodelled, new paper, new paint, new furniture and fittings of every +description. Modern windows were put in where practicable, that is, +wherever they could be inserted without violent incongruity with the +style of architecture; part of the house indeed—that part containing +the principal apartments—was entirely modernized, party walls were +pulled away, small rooms thrown into large ones, the ceilings and roofs +raised, bow windows thrown out, and a bright, cheerful air given to it.</p> + +<p>In the chapel adjoining the house great alterations were made. Coloured +glass windows took the place of the plain ones formerly there; these had +been inserted after a visit of inspection paid by a party of Puritan +cavalry, who, not having succeeded in finding the man of Belial of whom +they were in search, consoled themselves under their disappointment by +the holy amusement of smashing the beautiful stained-glass windows, and +destroying the decoration and carvings of the little chapel. The seats +were now removed, and the shrines, hangings, pictures, and other emblems +of the Romish Church were taken down. The grand stone altar was +retained, and a large cross in black marble was placed over it, taking +the place of the wooden crucifix which had so long hung there. At the +foot of the steps leading up to the altar, and where they had so often +knelt in prayer, a beautiful monument of white marble was erected to the +dead brothers, on which the sun threw strange, solemn lights as it +streamed in through the coloured windows.</p> + +<p>All these changes and alterations were carried on under the personal +care and inspection of Mr. Harmer, who, with his son, came down at once +to Canterbury, taking up their residence for the first two months at the +"Fountain," but spending most of their time over at the "Place." And +although when masons and decorators once take possession of a house they +generally contrive to make their stay nearly interminable, yet, money, +energy, and personal supervision will occasionally work wonders, and in +this case, in three months after taking possession—that is, by the end +of June—Mr. Harmer had the satisfaction of seeing the work completed, +and the little army of men engaged upon it fairly out of the house.</p> + +<p>As soon as they had gone into residence, the neighbouring gentry called +almost in a body. To them it possessed the charm of a new discovery; +they knew the place existed, but all they had seen of it was the lodge +gate, and the twisted chimneys of the house as they rose among the trees +which shut it in from the view; that was all. They hardly knew what it +was like, even from tradition; neither their fathers or grandfathers had +ever called there; not that the religion of its owner had constituted +any serious objection to their so doing, but the Harmers led too +secluded and recluse a life to care about knowing any one. With only a +very few among the county families of their own creed had they any +visiting acquaintance whatever, and this was confined to an exchange of +formal calls, or of stately dinners once or so in the course of a year. +Their only intimate acquaintances were chosen among foreigners, +ecclesiastics or others, generally Italian, whom they had known during +their long absences on the Continent; of these there had been usually +one or two staying in the house when the family were at home; beyond +this they had no friends. But now all this was to change, and the +carriages of the neighbouring gentry dashed in quick succession up the +drive where once the green moss had grown undisturbed, and gay talk and +merry laughter were heard where formerly silence had reigned almost +unbroken.</p> + +<p>The visits afforded great satisfaction to those who paid them. The +father and son were both much liked, and pronounced great acquisitions +to the county society.</p> + +<p>These visits were shortly returned, and invitations to dinner speedily +followed. But not to dinner-parties alone was the festivity confined; +picnics were got up, balls given, and it was unanimously agreed for once +to overlook the fact that there was no lady head to Harmer Place, but +that mothers and daughters should accept Mr. Harmer's lavish hospitality +regardless of that fact. Indeed, the Harmers' accession to the property +gave rise to a series of feasting and festivity such as had not been +known in that part of the county for years previously.</p> + +<p>Into all this Mr. Harmer entered with a fresh pleasure, and a frank +joyous spirit which charmed and attracted all. With the ladies he was an +especial favourite; to them his manners and address were so singularly +different to those of the men with whom they were accustomed to +associate, that they could not fail to be greatly impressed by it. +Herbert Harmer had seen little or nothing of women, for—with the +exception only of his wife, who had always been a great invalid, and +whom he had nursed for years with almost devotional care and +kindness—he had been thrown in contact with very few English women, and +he regarded the whole sex with an almost chivalrous devotion and respect +which in a man of his age was very strange and touching. Although a very +well-read man—for in his distant home he had kept himself well supplied +with the current English literature, and with scientific works of every +description—he knew very little of real life. Of commanding intellect, +had he been placed in different circumstances where his mind could have +had fair scope for its exercise, Herbert Harmer would have made a +conspicuous figure for himself; as it was, although all found in him a +charming companion and a sympathizer in their various tastes, few would +have suspected how great were the stores of knowledge which the +simple-hearted childlike man had stored up in all those years of +solitary reading.</p> + +<p>It was this general sympathy for the tastes of others, together with the +reverence for the sex, which led him to treat the young girl of +seventeen with a deference not inferior to that which he would have +exhibited for her white-haired grandmother, which made him so +universally liked by women; and had Herbert Harmer, although a man of +forty-seven, and looking older than he was, wished to marry again, he +might have nearly taken his choice among the fair young Kentish maidens +who surrounded him.</p> + +<p>Women, especially young women, appreciate a character such as this far +better than men can do. Their purity of heart recognizes instinctively +its goodness and childlike wisdom; and very many would own to themselves +that, without entertaining any passionate love for him, they could yet +entrust their happiness to such a one with a confidence far more serene +and implicit than that which they would experience in the case of a +younger man.</p> + +<p>Perhaps a thought as to the possibility of Mr. Harmer marrying again may +have entered into the calculations of some of the matrons with grown-up +families, and who would not have unwillingly have seen one of their +daughters holding sway as mistress at Harmer Place. But if so, it was +not for long; for Mr. Harmer, upon one occasion—when the possibility of +such an event as a new mistress for his house being forthcoming when the +alterations were completed, was laughingly suggested—resented the idea +in quite a serious manner. From this it was quite evident that the +future mistress of Harmer Place, whomsoever she might be, would enter it +as the wife of Gerald rather than of Herbert Harmer.</p> + +<p>Gerald was by no means so great a favourite as his father; nor, although +he earnestly desired to be popular, could he altogether succeed in his +object. He could not overcome the listless manner which his long +residence in India had rendered part of his nature; he could not acquire +an interest in all the chit-chat and gossip of country society, or +manifest more than a most languid interest in the agricultural +conversations and disquisitions which formed the large staple of the +country gentleman's talk. Of the price of corn he knew nothing. Malt and +hops were mysteries, into which, beyond drinking the resulting compound, +he had no desire to penetrate. And yet he was a sensible, good-hearted +young fellow enough. His misfortune was that he had not strength of mind +to adapt himself to the life and people he was thrown among.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer was extremely anxious that his son should marry early and +well; not well in a worldly point of view, but to some true woman, to +whom he could look up, and who would in time correct the faults of his +character. Those faults his father saw and understood; and he feared +much that his weak and facile disposition would render him liable to +fall into serious errors and faults, and would be not unlikely to lead +him to be entrapped into some hasty marriage, the evil consequences of +which might be incalculable to him. Mr. Harmer therefore watched with +anxiety to see to which, among the various young girls of the +neighbourhood, Gerald was most attracted, and at first he gave his +father some little trouble. New to female society, it possessed an +infinite charm to him; but he seemed to admire too generally to devote +himself to any one in particular, and although he at once commenced a +series of active flirtations, he appeared quite unable to single out any +one for especial preference. <i>Les absents ont toujours tort</i>; and the +converse of the proverb seemed to him to be equally true—the present +are always right. Whosoever might chance to be in his society would +assuredly, for the time being, appear to approach the nearest to +perfection. Gerald Harmer was certainly a much greater favourite with +the girls than he was with their fathers and brothers. That languid, +indolent way of his, as if he rather thought that it was the duty of +other people to devote themselves to his amusement, and which made the +men vote him a puppy, was to them quite new and very amusing. Girls, +too, rather like occasionally reversing positions, and bestowing homage +instead of receiving it; and so the lively country girls enjoyed these +languid flirtations with Gerald, and entered into them with great +spirit, laughing in their sleeves, perhaps, at him while they did so, +and not being in the least likely to become the victims of any very +ardent passion.</p> + +<p>When the shooting season commenced, however, a great change came over +him, for he threw himself into the sport with an ardour that astonished +his father. At last he really seemed to have found something worth +caring for, and in a short time, by his devotion for field sports, he +rose many degrees in the estimation of the young squires, who agreed +that Gerald Harmer had turned out a capital fellow after all, in spite +of his airs and nonsense. It is probable that he sank in the sisters' +estimation as he rose in the brothers', for he now no longer cared for +female society, and spent the whole of his time either in shooting over +his own or other estates, with parties of their young owners, or +sometimes alone, with no other companion than Long William, the +keeper—or else in hunting, to which also he took with great ardour. His +sporting tastes rapidly developed; dogs, horses, and guns occupied his +whole thoughts; and few would have recognized in the figure in +shooting-jacket and gaiters, returning splashed to the head, after a +hard day's work, the indolent lounger who had considered it almost too +great a trouble to think for himself. His father observed this change +with pleasure, as he had noticed with pain his son's increasing +listlessness, although he was personally a loser by it; for Gerald had +been hitherto his constant companion in his walks over his estate, and +his visits of kindness at his labourers' cottages, which, under his +care, assumed a very different and far more comfortable aspect than that +which they had worn under the old <i>régime</i>. Still, he felt that it might +do him much good; he thought it natural that the young man should be +fond of sport, and should seek the companionship of men of his own age; +and though he missed the former familiar intercourse with his son, he +assented with a little sigh of regret to the new state of things, and +told himself that it was much better so, and was very right and proper. +Even of an evening it was seldom now that Gerald accompanied his father +to the houses of the neighbouring gentry, always pleading fatigue, or +some other excuse, for not doing so. On these occasions, when his father +had started alone, he would be sure to find some pretext, some forgotten +order, or question which must be asked, as a reason for strolling down +in the course of the evening to smoke a pipe with his inseparable ally, +Long William, the keeper.</p> + +<p>Of this his father of course knew nothing; but the people of the village +soon noticed these visits, and shook their heads when they saw the young +squire go in at the cottage door, for William's character stood by no +means high, and such companionship could do no good. Sometimes, too, +Long William would not have returned from his duties when Gerald +sauntered down, and then the task of entertaining him till his return +would fall on William's pretty sister, Madge, who kept house for her +brother. Altogether it would have been far better for Gerald to have +accompanied his father, than to spend the evening sitting there smoking, +and occasionally drinking; not truly that he was fond of drink for its +own sake, but as he felt obliged to send Long William out for a bottle +of spirits, he felt equally bound to keep him in countenance while he +drank it.</p> + +<p>So things went on into the spring, and then the shooting and hunting +being over, Gerald, to his father's great annoyance, subsided into his +former listless state; indeed, into a much worse condition than he was +in before. He no longer was Mr. Harmer's companion in his rambles over +the estate; he took no interest in his plans for the improvement of the +houses of their poorer neighbours; he had no pleasure in society, which +before he had so enjoyed; indeed, so entirely without aim or object did +his life seem to have become, that Mr. Harmer felt that some change was +absolutely necessary for him, and proposed to him that he should go for +a few months' ramble on the Continent.</p> + +<p>This proposition Gerald embraced with eagerness, and in a few days +started on his tour.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer had at first thought of accompanying him, but finally decided +against doing so, as he judged it better that Gerald should have to +think and act entirely for himself; for being forced to do this, and to +make new acquaintances and friends—which in travelling he could only do +by exerting himself to be agreeable—he would be far more likely to +shake off his listless apathy, than if he had some one ever with him, to +arrange matters, and take all necessity of thought or exertion off his +hands.</p> + +<p>And so Gerald went alone, and, as far as could be gleaned from his +letters, he certainly seemed improving. At first he wrote without much +interest in what he saw, but gradually the tone of his letters became +more healthy, and when he reached Switzerland, he wrote in quite +enthusiastic terms. He had joined a party who intended to stay there two +or three months, and thoroughly wander over the various lakes and +valleys of that lovely country. He enjoyed the life immensely, was +becoming a first-rate mountaineer, and altogether he appeared to have +entirely recovered his life and spirits.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer remained quietly at home, passing his time between his books, +the management of his estates, and the pleasures of social intercourse +with his neighbours; and few days passed without his riding out into the +country, or into Canterbury, for a visit to some among them.</p> + +<p>Everywhere he continued to gain golden opinions, and became so popular +that he was requested to allow himself to be put in nomination as member +for that division of the county at the next election. This offer, +although very gratifying, Mr. Harmer declined. He was very happy and +contented with his present mode of life, and had not the least wish to +take upon himself the care and responsibility of a seat in Parliament.</p> + +<p>In autumn, soon after the shooting began, Gerald returned, looking +sunburnt and healthy; full of life and of his adventures and travels, +and, seemingly, permanently cured of his listless, indolent ways. His +father was much pleased with the change, and was now quite satisfied +with him; and yet at times he fancied—but it might be only fancy—that +in the pauses of conversation he would fall into short reveries of +something unpleasant; a quick, gloomy, anxious look seemed to pass +across his face, and although it would be instantly dispelled, still Mr. +Harmer could not help thinking that he had something on his mind. But if +it was so, he said no word to his father; and Herbert Harmer, even had +he been sure that such a secret had existed, which he was far from +being, was of too delicate a disposition to make the least advance +towards a confidence which his son did not seek to repose in him.</p> + +<p>At last the hunting season began again, to which Gerald had been looking +forward eagerly, as he preferred it even to shooting, perhaps because it +was a much greater change, as the meets were seldom held near +Canterbury, and he would have to send his hunter on the night before, +and drive over perhaps fifteen or twenty miles in the morning. However, +it happened that one of the first meets of the season was appointed to +take place near Canterbury, about three miles out on the old Dover Road, +and Gerald started off, after an early breakfast, in unusually high +spirits.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer, late in the afternoon, was in his library, which was in the +front of the house, and the windows of which commanded a view down the +drive.</p> + +<p>He had been reading, but the fast-closing shades of a wintry +afternoon—it was the 12th of November, had rendered that difficult, and +he had laid down his book and walked to the window, to look out at the +still trees and the quiet hush of the thickening twilight.</p> + +<p>Suddenly there came on his ear a low confused sound, as of many people +moving and speaking; and then a horse's footsteps came fast up the +drive.</p> + +<p>He strained his eyes for the first sight of the rider, as he came round +the turn of the drive into sight.</p> + +<p>It was not Gerald—it was one of his most intimate friends.</p> + +<p>What could it be? He threw open the window and listened again; between +the strokes of the horses' feet in the still evening air, he could hear +the confused sound of voices and the trampling of feet coming nearer. +What could it be? A nameless terror blanched his cheek, a dim vision of +the truth flashed across him. In an instant he was at the hall-door, +which he opened and went out on to the steps. The horseman had alighted, +and now stood looking pale and anxious at the door. When it opened, and +he saw Mr. Harmer himself, he shrank back as a man might, who, knowing +that he had something very painful to go through, is suddenly confronted +with it before he had quite nerved himself to undergo it. Recovering +himself, however, although his usually hearty, jovial face was blanched +white, he prepared to speak. Herbert Harmer waved him back, he could +tell him nothing that could be new to him now. He had seen his face, and +hope had died with the look, and the father stood listening with +suspended breath to the irregular trampling now rapidly approaching up +the avenue.</p> + +<p>"Is he dead?" he asked with his eyes, for no sound came from the lips. +"Not dead—but——" The eyes closed for a moment in answer that they +understood—not dead, but dying; and then he stood rigid and immovable, +his eyes open but seeing nothing, his whole senses merged in the effort +of hearing.</p> + +<p>The gentleman who had brought the news, seeing that at present he could +do nothing there, quietly entered the house and ordered the affrighted +servants instantly to get a bed-room ready, with hot water, sponges, and +everything that could be required.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer moved not till he saw appear round the turn of the drive the +head of a sad procession: carried on the shoulders of six men, on a door +hastily taken from a cottage for the purpose, was something in red +covered with a cloak; riding by the side were several horsemen in +scarlet, most of whom, on seeing Mr. Harmer standing on the steps, +reined back their horses and returned into the village, there to wait +for news. Not that they expected any news, save one; for the man in +green riding by the head of the little procession was the doctor. He was +on the field at the time of the accident, he had already examined the +injured man, had shaken his head sadly over him, and the word had gone +round—no hope.</p> + +<p>His horse, a young hunter which he had only purchased a few days before, +had struck the top bar in leaping a gate, and had come down headlong on +its rider, fearfully crushing and mangling him. They carried him up to +his room and laid him on the bed; his father walking beside speechless +and tearless. The only question he asked was, "Will he ever recover his +consciousness?"</p> + +<p>The doctor replied, "He may at the last."</p> + +<p>The last did not come till next morning, when, just as the grey light +was breaking, he opened his eyes. For some time they wandered confusedly +about the room, as if endeavouring to comprehend what had happened; then +he tried to move, and a slight groan of pain broke from him, and by the +change in his expression it was evident he remembered all. His eyes met +those of his father, and fixed there with a look of deep affection, then +a sudden recollection of pain seemed to occur to him, and he closed his +eyes again and lay for sometime quite still.</p> + +<p>The doctor who had his finger on his wrist motioned to the father that +the end was fast approaching. Again the eyes opened and he was evidently +rallying his strength to speak. The doctor withdrew a few paces, and the +father placed his ear to the dying man's mouth. The lips moved, but all +that the hearer could catch was—"Dear father—kind to Madge—my +sake—God forgive;" then the lips ceased moving, and the spirit was gone +for ever.</p> + +<p>Ten days had passed since then, Gerald Harmer had been laid in the quiet +graveyard of the village church, and his father was sitting thoughtful +and alone in his library. A knock at the door, and Mr. Brandon, the +rector of the place, was announced, and by Mr. Harmer's manner as he +rose to meet him, it was evident that he was an expected visitor.</p> + +<p>"I am much obliged to you for calling so speedily," he said, after they +had seated themselves. "I have a question which weighs much upon my +mind, and which is to me an inexpressibly painful one. Yet it is one +which I must ask, and you are the only person of whom I can ask it. I +may be mistaken altogether. I may be agitating myself under some +wretched misconception; God grant it may be so; and yet I must arrive at +the truth. Do you know any young person in the village by the name of +Madge? how old is she, who are her parents, and what character does she +bear?"</p> + +<p>The clergyman's face became very serious as Mr. Harmer addressed him, +and the latter saw at once by his unmistakable start of surprise, and by +the look of distress which came across his face, that he not only knew +such a person, but that he was very well aware why the question was +asked.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer laid his face in his hands and groaned; this was almost +harder to bear than his son's death. It was some time before he looked +up again. When he did so, the clergyman said in a tone of deep feeling +and commiseration—</p> + +<p>"It is a truly sad affair, my dear sir; indeed, I question if you yet +know how sad. The name of the young girl of whom you ask was Madge +Needham; she lived with her brother, one of your keepers. I hardly know +how to tell you what has occurred. She had been for some time in +delicate health, and was standing at the door of her cottage when she +saw a little crowd coming down the village street. She carelessly asked +a lad who was running past what it was, and was told that they were +carrying home your unfortunate son who had been killed out hunting. The +boy ran on; she said nothing, but closed the door of the cottage. The +shock had struck home. That night a little child was born into the +world, who before morning had lost both father and mother."</p> + +<p>Mr. Brandon ceased, his voice faltered as he spoke, and the tears fell +from his eyes. Mr. Harmer hid his face in his hands, and sobbed +unrestrainedly; he was inexpressibly shocked and grieved. At last he +said—</p> + +<p>"Is the child alive?"</p> + +<p>"Yes; a young married woman in the village who had just lost a baby of +her own has taken it for the present. She consulted me about it only +this morning, and I told her that in a short time when I could approach +the subject with you, I would do so, although I did not expect that the +opportunity would have occurred so soon. Still, I thought it right, +painful as it must be to you, that you should know the truth. I believe +from what I have heard that there can be no question as to the paternity +of the infant, as I heard, late in the spring, rumours of your son being +frequently down at the cottage. But it did not reach my ears until after +he had gone abroad, consequently I could do nothing in the matter but +hope for the best, and trust that rumour was mistaken."</p> + +<p>After another short silence, Mr. Harmer said—</p> + +<p>"Mr. Brandon, I am very much indebted to you for what you have already +done in the matter; will you further oblige me by acting for me in it? +If the woman who has now charge of the child is a respectable and proper +person, and is willing to continue the care of it, so much the better. +If not, will you seek some one who will do so? Make any arrangements in +the way of money you may think fit. By the way, the east lodge, which is +the one farthest from the village, is at present unoccupied; let them +move in there. I will give orders that it shall be made comfortable. +Will you see to this for me? So much for the present; we can make other +arrangements afterwards."</p> + +<p>And so it was carried out. Mrs. Green, the woman who had first taken +care of the child, with her husband, a steady working carpenter, moved +into the east lodge. They had no other children, and soon took to the +little orphan, and loved her as their own. To them, indeed, the adoption +of the child proved of great benefit. The lodge was made comfortable; a +piece of ground was added to it, and put in order for a garden; a +handsome yearly sum was paid; and the husband had steady work upon the +estate.</p> + +<p>Long William, the keeper, had a sufficient sum of money given him, to +enable him to emigrate to Australia.</p> + +<p>Upon the death of his son, Mr. Harmer went abroad for three or four +years, and then returned again to the old place. The shock which he had +undergone had aged him much, and at fifty-one he looked as old as many +men of sixty. He still kept up the acquaintance of his former friends; +but although fond of quiet social intercourse, he ceased altogether to +enter into general society, and devoted himself entirely to study and +scientific pursuits.</p> + +<p>It was a little before Mr. Harmer's return, that Dr. Ashleigh +established himself at Canterbury, having purchased a practice there. +They met accidentally at a friend's house, and soon became very intimate +with each other. They were mutually attracted by the similarity of their +tastes and pursuits, and by each other's intellectual superiority and +goodness of heart. They were indeed kindred spirits, and their society +became a source of the greatest mutual pleasure and gratification. +Whenever Dr. Ashleigh could find time from his professional pursuits, he +would drive over to pass a few hours of scientific research and +experiment with his friend; and if anything should occur to prevent the +visit being paid for a few days, Mr. Harmer would, in turn, come over +for an evening to the doctor's, at Canterbury.</p> + +<p>In the mean time little Sophy Needham was growing up. She was not a +pretty child, but had an intelligent face, with large thoughtful grey +eyes.</p> + +<p>It was some time after his return from abroad before Mr. Harmer trusted +himself to ride out at the east gate. At last, one day—it was the +anniversary of his son's death—he did so, and stopping there, fastened +up his horse, and went in to see the child, then exactly four years old.</p> + +<p>At first she was inclined to be distant and shy; but when once she had +recovered sufficiently to fix her large grey inquiring eyes upon him, +she went to him readily, and in five minutes they were fast friends; for +indeed he was one of those men whom children instinctively feel to be +good, and take to as if by intuition.</p> + +<p>After this he would frequently go down to see her, and take her little +presents of toys and dolls. Until she was ten years old she went to the +village school, and then he sent her to London to a good school, to be +educated as he said, for a governess. When she came home for the +holidays, he would frequently have her up for a day to the house, and +would interest himself greatly in her talk and growing knowledge.</p> + +<p>It was some little time after his return from abroad that Mr. Harmer +received a letter from his sisters, who had since they left been +travelling and living abroad, saying, that if he were still of the same +mind, and would repeat his invitation, they would be glad to come and +stay with him for a time, as they longed to see the old place where they +had lived so long. Although much surprised, Mr. Harmer willingly +assented, and his two sisters soon afterwards arrived. Their visit, at +first intended only to last for a few weeks, lengthened into months; +then they went away for a time, but soon returned, and took up their +abode there permanently.</p> + +<p>Whatever their motives may have been originally in returning to the +place, they unquestionably became very much attached to their brother, +and were far happier than they had ever before been during their lives: +they pursued their religious exercises, he his scientific pursuits, +without interference from each other, and as the genial intercourse and +kindness of their brother brightened their days, so did their affection +and interest soothe his. Their presence was a relief to the previous +silence and monotony of the house, and their management took all +household cares off his hands.</p> + +<p>On one subject alone had any disagreement arisen, and that was the +presence of Sophy; but here their brother at once so decidedly, and even +sternly, stated that his wishes on that point were to be considered as +law, and that no interference with them would be for a moment tolerated, +that they were obliged at once to acquiesce, although they still, as +much as they dare, kept up by their manner a protest against her +presence.</p> + +<p>Sophy now, during her holidays, stopped entirely at the house, occupying +a position something between that of visitor and humble companion. The +girl accepted her lot with rare tact for one of her age. She felt her +anomalous position, for she had, at Mr. Harmer's wish, been made +acquainted with her history, as he was sure that, sooner or later, she +was certain to be informed of it. She was of a quiet, retiring manner, +self-contained, and thoughtful, and manifested a quiet deference for the +Miss Harmers—with which, however much they might have wished it, they +could have found no fault—and a warm, though subdued, affection for Mr. +Harmer.</p> + +<p>And thus matters stood when this story began.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V.</h2> + +<h3>TESTAMENTARY INTENTIONS.</h3> + + +<p>All this history of the Harmers I have told nearly as I heard it, +passing briefly over such parts as were not essential to the +understanding of the story, and retaining all that was necessary to be +told in order that the relative position of the various inmates of +Harmer Place may be quite understood by any one who may hereafter read +this story of mine. And having done so, I can now proceed with the +regular course of my journal.</p> + +<p>That visit of ours to Harmer Place was a very memorable one, and +exercised not a little influence upon my fortunes, although certainly I +little dreamt at the time of our return that evening, that it had done +so. To Polly and I it had been simply an extremely pleasant day. We had +rambled about the garden with Sophy Needham, and had taken tea in the +summer-house, while papa and Mr. Harmer were at dinner. We had then gone +into desert, and, that over, had again rambled out, leaving the +gentlemen over their wine. It was while thus engaged, that a +conversation took place, which I did not hear of for more than a year +afterwards, but which entirely altered my worldly prospects. It was +began by Mr. Harmer, who had been for some time sitting rather silent +and abstracted.</p> + +<p>"I think it is high time, my dear doctor, for me to speak to you frankly +and openly, of what my intentions are in reference to the disposal of my +property. I mentioned somewhat of this to you four or five years since, +but I should like now to speak explicitly. I am aware that such matters +are not usually gone into; but I think in many cases, of which this is +one, it is right and better that it should be so. I have no relations +whatever in the world, with the exception of my sisters, who have an +ample life provision, and Sophy Needham, my son's child. My property is +very large; I have the Harmer estates, my own savings in India, and the +accumulation of my brothers, who never lived up to their income for very +many years. In all about seven thousand a year. As I have said, Sophy +Needham is my only connection in the world—you my only friend. To Sophy +I have left half my fortune, the other half I have bequeathed to your +children. Do not start, my dear Ashleigh, or offer any fruitless +objection, my decision is fixed and immovable. For the last thirteen +years my existence has been brightened by your friendly intercourse, in +you I have found a scientific guide and friend; indeed, I may say that +my life as far as this world is concerned, has been entirely made what +it is, tranquil, contented, and happy by your friendship. Ten years ago +you will remember I begged you to retire from practice, and to take up +your abode here with your family, upon any terms you might name, but in +fact as my adopted family. This offer you, from motives I could not but +respect, declined. You loved your profession, and considered it +incompatible with your duty to leave a career of active usefulness. +Things, therefore, went on as before. Towards Sophy my intentions were +not fixed, but she has turned out a very good girl, and I shall +therefore leave her half my fortune, about seventy-five thousand pounds. +Had I any other relation, or any person who could have the smallest +claim upon me, you might hesitate; as it is, not even the most morbid +feeling of delicacy can tell you that you are depriving others of their +expectations. Being so, let the matter be tacitly understood, and say +nothing whatever about it; you ought not to have known of it till my +death, just suppose that you do not know of it now. You will ask me why +have I then told you. For this reason. I wish to benefit your children. +My life is uncertain; but I may live for many years yet, and my money +might come too late to do good. Your son may have spent the best years +of his life struggling in some profession which he does not like; your +daughters may have suffered too. I therefore wish at once to place Harry +with the best man in the profession he wishes to enter, which I have +heard him say is that of a civil engineer, and I shall allow him a +hundred and fifty pounds a year for the present. Your daughters I should +wish sent to some good school in London to finish their education; and +when the time shall come, when such an event may be considered probable, +I should wish it to be publicly known that they will each have upon +their wedding day ten thousand pounds. Your son shall have a like sum +when the time comes for him to enter into a partnership, or start in +business for himself. These sums to be deducted from their moiety of my +fortune at my death. And now, doctor, let us shake hands and not mention +the matter again, and as you do not seem to be drinking your wine, let +us go out and join the young ladies in the garden."</p> + +<p>It was not until after several further discussions upon the subject of +Mr. Harmer's kind intentions towards us that papa agreed to accept his +offer. When he at last consented to do so, no time was lost in carrying +out the plans, and in a month or two Harry went up to London to be +articled to a well-known engineer. As for us, it was settled that Miss +Harrison should remain with us until Christmas, and that after the +holidays we should go up to a school near London. How delighted we were +at the prospect, and how very slowly that autumn seemed to pass; +however, at last the time came, and we started under papa's charge for +London. When we were once there, and were fairly in a cab on our way to +school, we felt a little nervous and frightened. However, there was a +great comfort in the thought that there would, at any rate, be one face +we knew, that of Clara Fairthorne, who came from our part of the country +we had met her at some of our Christmas parties, and it was by her +parents the school had been recommended to papa. But although we felt +rather nervous, it was not until we were in sight of the school that our +spirits really fell; and even at the lapse of all these years, I do +think that its aspect was enough to make any girl's heart sink, who was +going to school for the first time.</p> + +<p>Any one who has passed along the road from Hyde Park Corner to Putney +Bridge may have noticed Grendon House, and any one who has done so, must +have exclaimed to himself "a girls' school." Palpably a girls' school, +it could be nothing else. With the high wall surrounding it, to keep all +passers-by from even imagining what was going on within, with the trees +which grew inside it, and almost hid the house from view, with its +square stiff aspect when one did get a glimpse of it, and with its small +windows, each furnished with muslin curtains of an extreme whiteness and +primness of arrangement, and through which no face was ever seen to +glance out,—certainly it could be nothing but a girls' school.</p> + +<p>On the door in the wall were two brass plates, the one inscribed in +stiff Roman characters "Grendon House;" the other "The Misses Pilgrim," +in a running flourishing handwriting. I remember after we had driven up +to the door, and were waiting for the bell to be answered, wondering +whether the Misses Pilgrim wrote at all like that, and if so, what their +character would be likely to be. In the door, by the side of the plate, +was a small grating, or grille, through which a cautious survey could be +made of any applicant for admission within those sacred precincts.</p> + +<p>On passing through the door, and entering the inclosure, one found +oneself in a small, irregular piece of ground, dignified by the name of +the garden, although, from its appearance, it would be supposed that +this was a mere pleasantry; but it was not so. Indeed, no such thing as +a pleasantry ever was or could be attempted about anything connected +with "Grendon House." Certain it is that nothing in the way of a flower +was ever acclimatized there. The gloom and frigidity of the place would +have been far too much for any flower known in temperate climates to +have supported.</p> + +<p>I remember, indeed, Constance Biglow, who had a brother who had just +started on an Arctic expedition, lamented that she had forgotten to ask +him to bring home some of the plants from those regions, as an +appropriate present for the Misses Pilgrim, for their garden. I know at +the time we considered it to be a very good, although a dreadfully +disrespectful, joke towards those ladies.</p> + +<p>In spring, indeed, a few crocuses (Miss Pilgrim spoke of them as croci) +ventured to come up and show their heads, but they soon faded away again +in such an uncongenial atmosphere. The only thing which really +flourished there was the box edging to the borders, which grew +luxuriantly, and added somehow to the funereal aspect of the place. It +was no wonder nothing grew there, for the house, and the high walls, and +the trees within them, completely shaded it, and cut it off from all +light and air. Round the so-called flower-beds the gravel path was +wider, and was dignified by the name of the carriage drive, though how +any coachman was to have turned a carriage in that little confined +space, even had he got through the impassable gate, was, and probably +ever will remain, a mystery.</p> + +<p>Behind the house was the playground, a good-sized triangular-shaped +gravelled yard, for Grendon House was situated at the junction of two +roads, and the house itself stood across the base of the triangle they +formed. This playground was several times larger than the garden, and +was indeed quite extensive enough for such games as we indulged in. It +was, of course, surrounded by the high wall, with its belt of trees, +underneath which was a narrow strip of border, divided into regular +portions; and here the girls were permitted to prove the correctness of +the axiom, that plants will not live without light or air.</p> + +<p>So much for the exterior; inside, if the sensation of gloom and +propriety which pervaded the very atmosphere could have been got rid of, +it would have been really a fine house.</p> + +<p>The hall, which was very large, extended up to the top of the house; +from it, on the ground floor, led off the dining and schoolrooms, large, +well-proportioned rooms, but very cold and bare-looking, especially the +former; for the schoolroom walls were nearly covered with maps of +different countries, some rolled up and out of use, others hanging down +open; beside them hung genealogized trees of the various monarchies of +Europe; while in the corner was a large stand with a black board for +drawing diagrams in chalk. Nothing else in either of them but bare +walls, and equally bare forms and tables.</p> + +<p>There was another little room opening from the great hall: this was the +cloak-room, where the girls put on their bonnets and shawls before going +out for their walks. It was here that, when they were able to slip out +from the schoolroom, they would meet to talk in English for a change, +and interchange those little confidences about nothing in which +school-girls delight. This room looked into the garden; and to prevent +the possibility of any one who might be—which nobody ever +was—wandering there, looking in at the window, white silver paper, with +coloured flowers under it, was stuck on to the glass, something in the +manner of decalcomanie, only that extraordinary and difficult name was +not at that time invented.</p> + +<p>Upstairs was the drawing-room. It was here that the Misses Pilgrim +received visitors to the girls, and here that the lady professors, who +came twice a week to teach music, imparted lessons in singing and on the +pianoforte to the pupils.</p> + +<p>This room was a model of propriety and frigidity—if there be such a +word, for no other will describe the effect produced. The curtains were +of white muslin, so stiff and carefully arranged that they might have +been cut out of marble. The chairs were of some light wood, with gilding +on them, and so extremely fragile, that it was only with the greatest +caution and care that any one could venture to sit down upon them; there +were couches too, here and there, but these as seats were altogether out +of the question, being so covered with Berlin work of every kind, and +antimacassars of such stiffness and intricacy of pattern, that no one +would ever have thought of assuming a sitting position even upon the +extreme edge of them.</p> + +<p>The room was literally crowded with tables of every imaginable shape and +form, generally on twisted legs, and looking as if a breath would upset +them. On these tables were placed works of art and industry of every +description. Vases of wax flowers and fruit, Berlin wool mats of every +colour and pattern, inkstands of various shapes and sizes, books of +engravings, stuffed birds under glass shades; in short, knicknacks of +every sort and kind, and on a great majority of them were inscribed, +"Presented to Miss Pilgrim, or Miss Isabella Pilgrim, by her attached +pupils on her birth-day;" or, "Presented to the Misses Pilgrim by their +attached pupil so-and-so on the occasion of her leaving school."</p> + +<p>Through all this it was next to impossible to move without the greatest +risk of bringing some of the little fragile tables down with a crash, +and visitors would generally, after a vague glance of perplexity round, +drop, or rather lower themselves carefully, into one of the little +minikin chairs, as near as possible to the door.</p> + +<p>So chilling was the effect of this room, so overwhelming its atmosphere +of propriety, that many fathers and brothers who have come up from the +country to see their daughters or sisters after a long absence, men with +big voices and hearty manner, have felt so constrained and overpowered +by it, that in place of taking them into their arms with a loud-sounding +kiss, they have been known to hold out their hand in a most formal +manner and to inquire almost in a whisper as to their state of health. +In this drawing-room the elder girls used to practise, and if any +visitor was shown up there the proper form to be observed was to rise +from the music-stool, walk to the door, and then, making a deep curtsey, +to leave the room—a performance not unfrequently completely astounding +any one strange to the ceremonies inculcated at young ladies' schools as +being suitable to occasions like this.</p> + +<p>It will be judged from all this that "Grendon House" was a model +academy, and indeed it was. The only wonder is that it did not turn us +all into the stiffest pieces of prim propriety possible; but somehow it +did not; for I think, on looking back, that a merrier and more lively +set of girls it would be difficult to have found, and yet we most +certainly had not much to be merry about. "All work and no play makes +Jack a dull boy." It may be so, but it decidedly did not have that +effect upon Jack's sisters. We certainly did work very hard. I suppose +it was necessary in order to cram all the accomplishments girls are +expected to know into our heads; but however it was, I am quite sure +that in those two years I was at school, I worked more hours and +steadier at them, than Harry ever did in four; he allows it himself, and +I am sure it is generally the case, that girls work infinitely harder +than their brothers, and certainly have no amusement or recreation at +all in proportion. I suppose it is all right, but yet I do think that if +we worked a good deal less, and played a great deal more, we should know +quite as much, and be far more healthy and natural than we are.</p> + +<p>However, I am not writing an essay, or I should have a great deal more +to say on this point; as it is I must leave it for abler hands, and go +back to my story.</p> + +<p>When we first caught sight of Grendon House our spirits fell many +degrees, and when we entered its solemn portals we felt terribly awed +and uncomfortable. We were, of course, shown up into that dreadful +drawing-room, and I think papa was as much affected by it as we were; he +certainly was not a bit like himself, and he stayed a very short time +talking to Miss Pilgrim, who came up in great state, and in a very stiff +silk dress, which rustled alarmingly as she walked, to receive us. Miss +Pilgrim was small but stately, almost overpoweringly so. Her hair was +arranged in little stiff ringlets on each temple; her nose was very +prominent; her lips thin and rather pinched; her eyes bright and +searching; she was, on the whole, in good keeping with the room, and yet +I thought that, although she looked so sharp, and spoke so shortly and +decidedly, that she was kind at heart, and that I should like her. And I +may say I did; she was, although strict and sharp with us girls—as +indeed she had need to be—kind-hearted and thoughtful, and I parted +with her when I left school with regret. Her sister Isabella was so +exactly the counterpart of herself that one description will do for the +two; and, except that she wore her hair in flat braids instead of in +ringlets, and that she was not quite so sharp and decided, although +equally kind, she might have been easily mistaken for her elder sister.</p> + +<p>When papa got up to go away, I could not help crying a little; for, +though I was fifteen, I had never been away from home before. However, I +soon came round after he was once fairly gone. Polly was longer +recovering herself; but she, too, soon got over it, when I told her that +if we cried the girls would be sure to call us cry-babies.</p> + +<p>Presently Miss Pilgrim, who had considerately left us for a few minutes +to let us have our cry out, came back again, and took us up to show us +our room, where we could take off our things. She also kindly sent for +Clara Fairthorne, so that we might go down into the schoolroom with some +one we knew. It was rather an ordeal going in there, and seeing all the +faces lifted up from their work to look at the new comers. However, it +was not so bad as we had expected; they did not stare at us +disagreeably, nor did they, when we went out into the playground +afterwards, ask us so many questions as papa had warned us they would. +Indeed, there was no occasion for their doing so, as they had heard all +about us from Clara. One or two of them took us under their special +protection, as it were, for the first few days, and we felt at home very +much sooner than I had expected that we should do. We were about twenty +in all, from Annie Morgan and Selma Colman, the two parlour boarders, +down to Julia Jackson, a West-Indian child of eleven years old, the +darling and pet of the whole school.</p> + +<p>I am not going to write a long account of my schooldays. The daily +routine of one girl's school is so much like that of another, that there +is nothing new to be told of it; the little disputes, the rivalries, the +friendships sworn to last for life, but which seldom survive a year or +two of occasional correspondence,—all these things have been so +frequently told, that I shall not repeat them, but shall only mention +briefly such incidents as had an effect upon my after life.</p> + +<p>The account of one day's work is a description of all. Breakfast at +eight; school from half-past eight until twelve; then a walk for +three-quarters of an hour. Dinner at one; play for half an hour; school +from two till half-past five; another half-hour's play; tea at six; +school till eight; then to bed.</p> + +<p>Looking back upon it now, I wonder how I, and all the countless girls +who go through such slavery as this, keep their health and spirits. Our +walk was no recreation to us; we went, two and two, through the streets, +or into Kensington Gardens—the same walks week after week—till we knew +every stone on the pavement we walked on. It was a dreadfully formal +affair, and I think I would rather have been in school. The only play we +really had was the half-hour after dinner and the half-hour after tea, +and also on Saturday afternoons. Then, indeed, we made up for all the +day's repression,—running, jumping, skipping, laughing, and shouting +like mad girls, till I am sure sometimes we scandalized the whole +neighbourhood, and that passers by on the other side of the high wall +paused in astonishment at such an outburst of joyous cries and laughter. +Even at this time, as at all others during the day, we had to speak +French, not a word of English being allowed to be spoken in "Grendon +House;" and I remember congratulating myself that French girls laughed +the same way as we did, for we should certainly have been obliged to +laugh in French, had such a thing been possible. I was very good friends +with all my schoolfellows, and, indeed, there was very little +quarrelling among us,—just a sharp word or two, and a little extra +stateliness and ceremony for a day or so; but even this was uncommon, +for we had neither time nor opportunity to quarrel. My greatest +favourite was Ada Desborough, who was a month or two younger than +myself. Ada was tall, slight, with a very pretty figure, and a +particularly easy, graceful carriage. She was lively, talkative, full of +fun,—indeed inclined, to be almost too noisy, and it was easy to see +she would turn out a perfect flirt.</p> + +<p>Ada and I would sometimes quarrel, and she would take up with some one +else for three weeks or a month, and then come back to me all of a +sudden, and be as affectionate as ever. She was such a warm-hearted girl +it was impossible to be angry with her; and, on the whole, she was by +far my greatest friend all the time I was at Grendon House. It was +through Ada that the only break which ever occurred in the monotony of +our life at Grendon House took place. Ada's mother, Lady Eveline +Desborough, lived in Eaton Square, and Ada generally went home from +Saturday afternoon till Sunday evening. Sometimes, perhaps twice in a +half-year, she would bring an invitation from her mamma for three or +four of us to go there to spend the next Saturday afternoon with her. I +was always of the number, as being Ada's particular friend. We looked +forward to these little parties as a change; but there was not any great +amusement in them.</p> + +<p>Lady Desborough was the widow of General Sir William Desborough, and +moved in quite the extreme fashionable world. She was a tall, elegant +woman, with a haughty, aristocratic face. She used, I really think, to +try and unbend to us girls; but her success was not great: she was so +tall and haughty-looking, so splendidly dressed, and her attempt at +cordiality was so very distant that we were all quite awed by it.</p> + +<p>The programme of the afternoon's amusement was generally as follows. We +would go first either to the Polytechnic or the Zoological Gardens, or, +in fact, wherever we chose, under the escort of Lady Desborough's +housekeeper, a respectable middle-aged woman, who used to let us wander +about and do just as we liked. This part of the day was really +enjoyable; when we got back to Eaton Square, we had our tea together in +the small room behind the dining-room, where Lady Desborough dined in +solitary state. This was great fun. Ada made tea with a vast affectation +of ceremony, and the laughing and noise we made were prodigious, and +would have scandalized Miss Pilgrim, could she have heard us; and we +should not have ventured to indulge in it, had not Ada assured us that +the partition was so thick that it was quite impossible for our voices +to penetrate to the next room. When tea was over, we quieted down +gradually at the thought of what was in store for us, for when Lady +Desborough had finished her dinner, and gone up into the drawing-room, +we were sent for, and went up-stairs, putting on our best company +manners, as inculcated at "Grendon House," and seated ourselves on the +edges of the chairs, in the primest of attitudes, with our feet +perfectly straight, and our hands folded before us. We would first have +a little frigid conversation, and Lady Desborough would then ask us to +oblige her by playing on the piano, and as we always, by Miss Pilgrim's +order, brought a piece of music each with us, there was no possibility +of evading the infliction, but each had in turn to perform her piece; +and then we sat stiff and uncomfortable, till the welcome intelligence +came that Miss Pilgrim's servant was at the door with a cab.</p> + +<p>After the first year I was at school had passed, and when we were about +sixteen, the stiffness of these visits wore away, but we never were +quite comfortable with Lady Desborough; and, indeed, did not enjoy our +visit as much even as we had done the year before, for we were too old +to go now sightseeing under the housekeeper's care, and our merry teas +were exchanged for stiff dinners with Lady Desborough.</p> + +<p>Ada had one brother, whom I have not yet spoken of. He was five years +older than she was, and she always spoke of him in enthusiastic terms; +but I never saw him except the twice I went to Eaton Square, in my first +half-year. He was then rather more than twenty, and seemed a quiet young +man, and I thought a little shy, and out of his element with us five +girls. He was tall, and dark like his sister, but with a thoughtful, +studious face, very unlike hers. Ada said that at ordinary times he was +full of fun. All I can say is at these two visits I saw nothing of it. +He had, I believe, entered the Guards, but after a short time determined +to see some active service, and accordingly exchanged into the Lancers, +I understood from Ada, very much to his mother's dissatisfaction.</p> + +<p>I have now briefly told all the events which occurred in my two years at +school, which had in any way a bearing upon my after-life. I have told +them all at once, in order that I may not have to go back to my +schooldays again, which, indeed, were monotonous enough. I have read and +heard that in some schools the girls engage in all sorts of fun and +flirtation and adventures. It may be so; I do not know. I can only say +we had no such goings on at "Grendon House," but, although naturally +lively and full of fun enough, were certainly a quiet, well-conducted, +ladylike set of girls, and no such nonsense, as far as I ever heard, +entered into any one of our heads.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI.</h2> + +<h3>THE BISHOP OF RAVENNA.</h3> + + +<p>The autumn sun was blazing down upon the ancient city of Ravenna, and, +over the flat pestilential country around it, an unwholesome malarious +vapour hung thick and heavy. Perhaps in all Italy there is no more +unhealthy spot than is the neighbourhood of Ravenna. The whole country +is a swamp, the water oozes up in the fields at the very foot of its +walls, and the agriculturist has but to sink a bottomless tub in the +ground and he will have a well full to the brim, which no amount of +drawing upon will exhaust. The city itself sits lonely and deserted +amongst her green rice-grounds and swamps; her wide streets are empty, +her churches without worshippers, her aspect mournful and desolate in +the extreme. And yet this was once a mighty city, second only to +imperial Rome in magnitude and importance, the seat of Emperors, and the +cradle of Christianity. The swamps then were not in existence, but the +bright waves of the Adriatic broke close to its walls, and the Roman +galleys lay moored in the port of Classis within bow-shot range. The sea +is far off now, and the rice-grounds stretch away level and flat where +the waves broke. Classis has disappeared, and has left no sign; the +hungry morasses have swallowed every stone and vestige, and the ancient +church of St. Apollinarius alone marks where the place once stood; +while, where the galleys anchored, the thick groves of the pine forest +extend for miles in an unbroken shade. The emperors and exarchs, the +Gothic and Frank monarchs, the conquerors innumerable who in turns +lorded it there; the great family of Polenta, the patrons of art, who +for centuries were her masters;—all these are gone, and their tombs +alone tell that they ever existed: and now it lies forgotten and alone, +visited only for the sake of its early Christian churches, with their +glorious mosaics.</p> + +<p>Perhaps in all Italy there was at that time no city which, for its size, +contained so large a number of priests; probably its hush and quiet +suited them; but nearly every other person in the streets was an +ecclesiastic, and the clang of the bells calling to prayer from their +picturesque round campaniles never ceased. It was past mid-day, and mass +was over in most of the churches, when two aged women, in black dresses +and thick veils, which entirely concealed their faces, rang at the bell +of the Bishop's palace. The door was opened by a man in a sort of +semi-clerical attire. On giving their names, he bowed respectfully, and +saying "His lordship is expecting you," led the way up some wide stairs, +through a long corridor, and then signing to them to wait a moment, he +entered the room; returning in a few seconds, he requested them to +enter, and closed the door behind them. It was a very large room, +although its length was comparatively greater than its width. A range of +bookshelves, extending from the floor to a height of about five feet, +ran completely round it, and upon the dark-panelled walls were hung a +long series of portraits, probably those of the bishop's predecessors in +office. Above, the ceiling was divided by a richly-gilt framework into a +number of irregular partitions, in which were inserted a fine series of +paintings by ancient masters, the subjects of which were not all so +strictly Scriptural as might have been expected in the palace of a +Church dignitary. The light entered by a very large window at the end of +the apartment, the panes of which were of the small diamond pattern. +With his back to this window, by the side of a large chair, in which he +had apparently been sitting reading when his visitors were announced, +stood the Bishop of Ravenna. Although he had returned from mass some +quarter of an hour, he still wore a part of the robes in which he had +officiated. It is probable that as he expected the ladies who had just +entered, and as he was particularly anxious upon this occasion to +impress their minds strongly, he had purposely retained these insignia +of his office to add to the power which he had for many years been +accustomed to exercise over them. Not, indeed, that the bishop needed +any adventitious aids to his personal appearance. He was a tall, stately +figure, but little bent with the weight of the seventy years which had +passed over him. His hair was silver white, but the lines of the face +were still strong and marked. His manner was very variable,—at times +commanding, even harsh; at other moments mild and persuasive. As an +orator he had few equals in his Church,—the varying modulations of his +voice alternately awing and melting his audience. He advanced to meet +the two women, who, their veils raised now, hurried towards him, and +knelt at his feet to receive the blessing which he impressively bestowed +upon them. That done, he raised them, and placed them in chairs facing +the one he himself occupied.</p> + +<p>"My dear sisters," he began, in Italian, "I received your note before I +went out this morning, telling me that you were here, and would call +upon me after mass. I was indeed glad to hear of your coming. It is +three years now since I last saw you. It was in a humbler lodging than +this that you then visited me."</p> + +<p>"My sister and myself were indeed glad to learn that your services to +the Church had met the reward so richly deserved," the elder of the two +women said.</p> + +<p>The bishop waved his hand deprecatingly.</p> + +<p>"The Church has far too highly honoured my poor services," he said; "and +indeed I should have been well content to have remained in the sphere in +which I had so long worked; but it was not for me to oppose my will to +that of those who know far better than I can do what is best for our +holy Church. And you, sisters, how has it fared with you these three +years? Not badly in health, I should say, for you are in no way changed +since I saw you last."</p> + +<p>"Our health is good, truly, father, but our minds fare but badly. We are +weary of this long struggle, which has ended only in defeat, as our +letters have told you; and now we hope that you will grant the prayer we +have so often made, and allow us to retire into a convent for the rest +of our days."</p> + +<p>"But your struggle has not ended in a defeat," the bishop said, ignoring +the request contained in the last part of the speech. "No defeat can +come until the end of a battle. It is true that the news which you send +me is very bad. It is bad that the apostate who wrongfully holds Harmer +Place is still impenitent, still more bad that he should have determined +to will the property which rightfully belongs to the Church away to +other hands. But that I know that in this you are weak, that your hearts +turn towards him who is unworthy of it, I should long since have called +down the anger of an offended God upon him."</p> + +<p>"No, no, father," the younger of the two women, who had not as yet +spoken, said; "he is mistaken, grievously mistaken indeed, and we lament +it with tears, while we pray for him continually; but in other respects +he is very good, very kind to all, most of all to us."</p> + +<p>"That may be, sister Angela," the bishop said, sternly. "It is easy to +be kind in manner when all goes well with you in the world; it is easier +and more pleasant, but it is mere outside. What avails this if within +all is rotten, if the vital point of all is wanting? Such a man is but a +whited sepulchre. However," he continued, more mildly, "for your sake, +my sisters, the Church has been content to wait; for your sake it has +forborne to use the power of cursing and anathema which is confided to +her, here upon earth; for your sake it is content to remain tranquil +under the privation of the worldly goods which in her hands would have +done such incalculable good, but which are now devoted to far different +purposes."</p> + +<p>Here the bishop paused, and there was silence for a little, and then the +elder sister again asked,—</p> + +<p>"And our request, father; will you grant us now that we may retire to a +convent? Our task is done here."</p> + +<p>"Your task is not done," the bishop said, sternly, "and may not be +relinquished. Our path in this life must be regulated by our duty, not +our wishes. Your duty is plain,—to endeavour to restore to the Church +that property of which it has been unjustly defrauded. No one can +perform this but you; and although at present things have worked but +ill, yet no one can say what may yet occur. You have already, in your +brother's present position, a striking instance of the unexpected way in +which the events of this world occur, and how little we can foresee the +intentions of God. Who can say, therefore, that in time this great wrong +may not be rectified, and that the will of your dead brothers, those +true children of the Church, may not yet be carried into effect? Events +have indeed turned out badly, but there is no ground for losing hope; +and you, who have hitherto worked so well for the good cause, I little +looked to see shrink from your allotted task; I expected better things +of you, sister Cecilia and sister Angela,—you, of all women, having +once put your hands to the plough, I did not think to see turn back from +the labour."</p> + +<p>"But we have tried hard, father, very hard for many long years," Cecilia +Harmer said, "and it is only because we find that our work has come to +nothing, that it is over, as it were, that we would gladly retire to die +in peace and quietness. It is eighteen years since we left the convent +we had entered, when the news came of our nephew's death. You bade us +go, and we went. For eighteen years we have worked and hoped. Hope and +work are over now; let us rest."</p> + +<p>"It has been so long, father, such weary years, almost without hope all +the while; we are so tired—so, so sick of the world. Oh, father, let us +go back to our convent!" the younger sister almost wailed, plaintively.</p> + +<p>"My dear sister," the bishop said, and this time his voice was soft and +persuasive, "we have all our trials; life is no rosy path, but is paved +with the sharp stones of duty; but yet we must all tread it as +unflinchingly as we may, looking for strength where only it can be +found. To you has been confided a great and important mission. You have +the opportunity of doing great things for the Holy Church. You have that +great and glorious object in view, and you are, moreover, filled with +the pious hope of saving a lost soul, and that the soul of your erring +brother. It is a task which the angels themselves might be glad to +perform. To the Church is given all power here, to bind and to loose, +and, for your sakes, I have promised you that your brother's errors +shall be passed over. Prayers are offered up that he may be forgiven; +and when the time comes, rest assured that at least no testimony shall +be made against him; and that if the Church cannot bless, it will at +least not curse the mistaken one. Every allowance has been and will be +made for his youth at the time he forsook the right path, and the strong +influences brought to bear upon him; his life has been, as you have +testified in your letters, save as to this grievous falling off, an +exemplary one; and I trust that, when at last stricken with illness, he +will turn back as a wandering sheep to the fold. These, my sisters, are +the inducements—a lost soul to be saved, the Church to be strengthened. +Not often are such inducements offered. But," and here he raised and +hardened his voice, "it is not by inducements only that the Church acts, +but by orders and threatenings. Upon you a certain burden has been +placed, hard to bear, perhaps, but not beyond your strength. From this +task you must not shrink; your private wishes are as nothing in the +balance. You have a duty, and would fain escape it to pass your life in +the way it would please you in a convent; you would say, to serve God +there, but He will not be so served; He has given you another sphere, +other tasks. The convent is for those who see no path of active +usefulness traced out for them—not for such as you. Who can tell what +may yet occur? I at first acceded to your request, and allowed you to +retire from the world, until your nephew's death clearly indicated that +Providence had not destined the property of the Church to pass from the +apostate father to the heretic son. Then your path of duty was clear; +and although at present the future looks dark, although your brother is +obstinate in his recusancy, and although he may talk of leaving his +property to others, yet the case is by no means hopeless. He may repent +and turn; this girl whom he has adopted may displease him; he may die +without a will. These and many other contingencies may arise, but until +his death your task cannot be ended."</p> + +<p>"But he is younger than we are; he may survive us both," the elder +sister said.</p> + +<p>"He may, but he may not; but that does not alter your path of duty," the +bishop answered. "But one thing I will concede. Just at present your +presence in England can do little or no good. You have my consent, +therefore, to your entering a religious house, and remaining there until +you shall hear, from the person whom you have informed me has undertaken +to let you know what is passing there, that some change has taken place, +either in his sentiments towards this girl, or in his health. This may +be weeks, months, or even years. When that word comes, you must be +prepared to go instantly back, and to do whatever I, or any one who may +speak in my name to you, may direct you."</p> + +<p>"Thank you, dear father," the elder sister said, while even Angela +acquiesced mutely; "to this we are ready, quite ready, to agree. We know +the importance of our success to the Church; we grieve over seeing the +property pass away into the hands of others; and I, for my part, seem to +feel a presentiment that the time will come before long when we shall be +successful. Three times, lately, Robert and Edward have come to me in my +sleep, and have told me to hope on, for that the light will yet shine +through the darkness. You have yourself told me, father, that there is +much in dreams."</p> + +<p>"Undoubtedly, sister; the Church has in all ages maintained that at +times revelations are made to the faithful in dreams, and by +apparitions, at which the vulgar mock. And now return to your hotel. You +shall hear from me in the course of the day; and if, as I believe, you +would rather be within reach of my ministration, than go among +strangers, I will speak to the superior of an establishment here, who +will, I am sure, gladly receive you as inmates."</p> + +<p>Again the sisters knelt before him, and received his blessing, and then +returned through the quiet streets of Ravenna to their hotel.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII.</h2> + +<h3>SOCIETY GRACIOUSLY CONDESCENDS.</h3> + + +<p>For upwards of a year after Mr. Harmer had spoken to papa relative to +the intended disposition of his property, the matter was not mentioned +to any one, but was known only to Dr. and Mrs. Ashleigh, my brother +Harry, himself, and his sisters. At the end of that time he made public +his intentions, and spoke of them openly. He did this for reasons +connected with Sophy Needham, for whom he was desirous of obtaining +suitable society. At the time the matter gave papa a good deal of +annoyance. Much as he was generally liked and esteemed, there were +people found, as there always are found upon every occasion, who made +ill-natured remarks upon our good fortune, and who really seemed by +their talk to be personally aggrieved at Mr. Harmer's kind intentions +towards us. Had they been asked why they were so, they probably could +not have replied; for as Mr. Harmer had—with the exception of his +sisters, who were amply provided for—no relation in the world, it was +evident that there was no one who could be considered as wronged or +injured by this disposition of his property. However, so it was; and, +although papa received the sincere congratulations of all his old +friends, I think he felt a good deal the ill-natured remarks, which came +to his ears, of people for whose opinion I should have thought he would +have cared nothing whatever. I was rather surprised at this; for if +there was one person more than another who had by his whole life and +conduct showed that he did not care for money, it was papa. He might, +therefore, have well afforded to laugh at such accusations as this; but +I suppose no one, however conscious of rectitude, likes to be spoken ill +of, even by people whom he despises, and whose opinion about others he +would treat with contempt.</p> + +<p>This was not, however, of long continuance, for, as far as we were +concerned, the talk and wonder soon died away, and things settled down +into their usual state; but it was not so as regarded Sophy Needham. The +announcement that she was to be the heiress of half of Mr. Harmer's +large fortune, elicited the greatest reprobation and disgust among the +very portion of the population who had been most cordial in their +congratulations as to the destination of the other half; namely, among +the country gentry, the clergy—a very numerous and powerful body in +Canterbury,—the professional men, and respectabilities of the place.</p> + +<p>"To think that that girl,—that——[and they called poor Sophy very hard +names],—that young person, should be raised up into one of the richest +heiresses of that part of the country, was a scandal to morality and an +outrage to public decency. Her elevation was offering a premium to +immorality among the lower orders. Did Mr. Harmer suppose that a person +of that kind, however wealthy, would be received into society? No, +indeed; the thing was quite out of the question."</p> + +<p>This was the first outburst of opinion among the upper two hundred of +Canterbury.</p> + +<p>By degrees, finding that Mr. Harmer did not concern himself greatly with +what was said about him, and that he showed no sign of changing his +declared intentions in deference to the popular voice, society gave up +talking so much about it; but its opinion was, it declared, unchangeable +as to the objectionable nature of his conduct.</p> + +<p>I think it likely that Mr. Harmer, who loved peace and quiet above all +things, would have suffered matters to remain as they were; but papa had +a serious talk with him on the subject. He pointed out that Sophy was +now eighteen years old, that the mere declaration of Mr. Harmer's +intentions towards her had not been of any use in procuring her friends +of her own age, and that, for her sake, he ought to again re-enter +society. She was growing up knowing nothing of the world; and should +anything happen to Mr. Harmer, she, being left entirely unprotected and +alone, would fall an easy prey to some fortune-hunter of the worst kind, +and her fortune would thus, instead of a benefit, turn out a positive +evil to her.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer acknowledged the truth of all this, and agreed with the +doctor, that reluctant as he felt to change his present studious and +retired mode of life, he ought still, for her sake, to make an effort to +re-enter society.</p> + +<p>Accordingly, the next day he ordered his carriage, and made a long round +of visits to his old friends in the town and precincts; for, although he +had ceased to visit, he had still kept up a casual acquaintance with +those he had before known, and indeed had met many of them during his +frequent visits to papa.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer's calls were everywhere received with pleasure, and his +frank, winning manner seemed at once to place him upon a familiar +footing with those of his friends with whom he had once been such a +favourite. He apologized for the hermit life he had so long led; said +that circumstances had induced him to determine to abandon it, and that +he hoped that they, their wives, and daughters would show that they +forgave him by calling at Harmer Place. But at the end of the day, if +well satisfied with the reception he had personally met with, he was +unable to persuade himself that he had made the slightest progress, as +far as Sophy—who was the real object of his visits—was concerned. A +cordial invitation had been in each instance given him to repeat his +calls, but in no case had more than an evasive answer been returned in +reply to his invitation to the ladies of the family.</p> + +<p>On the day succeeding these visits the interchange of calls which took +place at Canterbury was quite without precedent. The great question +which every one had to ask was, "Should they go over to Harmer Place to +call upon Sophy Needham?" It would hardly have been supposed necessary +to have asked a question upon which they had, three months before, +decided unanimously in the negative; but then it is so easy to say you +will not do a thing before you have been asked—so very difficult to +refuse when you are. Indeed, many of the Canterbury ladies were now +sorry that they had spoken so very decidedly, and were ready to admit +that there was really a good deal to be said in favour of calling upon +the poor girl.</p> + +<p>However, fortunately for these vaccillating creatures, and happily for +the propriety and strict respectability of the town, the heads of the +society, from whose dicta there was no appeal, sternly said that such a +thing was, of course, out of the question; and society in general +naturally followed suit, repressed a little sigh of regret, and agreed +that it was quite out of the question. Had the population of Canterbury +been differently proportioned to what it was, the answer might have been +otherwise. Had there been young men in the place, who might have won the +heiress, their mothers might have rebelled against the edict of +exclusion, and for their sons' sake have called upon Sophy Needham; but, +as I shall explain in its proper place, there were no young men in +Canterbury, and therefore no motive for any one to rebel against +constituted authority, or to outrage propriety by calling at Harmer +Place.</p> + +<p>Papa, when informed of this decision, was very indignant and angry—much +more so than he had been by the recent aspersions on himself. He even +went so far as to say, that if this were Christian charity, he would +rather fall among heathens. He exerted himself to the utmost to bring +matters about, but the other ladies would not call unless the ladies of +the precincts did, and the ladies of the precincts would not. However, +it was not papa's way to give up anything he had once undertaken, and he +accordingly one day sat down and wrote as follows:—</p> + +<blockquote><p>"My dear old Friend,</p> + +<p>"Although our correspondence has been pretty regular, it is now +three years since we met, and I want you, your wife, and +daughter to come down and stay a week with us, either before or +after Christmas, as may suit you best. Your diocese can, I am +sure, do without you for a little while, and I know you will be +glad to see again the old place, where you lived so long; and +it would give us all great pleasure to enjoy your society once +more. At the same time, I tell you frankly that it is in your +power to confer a great favour and benefit both upon myself and +upon another old friend of yours, Herbert Harmer.</p> + +<p>"You will remember he brought up the child his son left behind +him, that he sent her to school, and, in fact, adopted her as +his own. All this happened when you were here. In my last +letter I told you that he intended to leave her half his +fortune, about £75,000. He is now naturally anxious to +introduce her into society, in order that she may see the +world, and make some suitable match, as otherwise the poor girl +would, at his death, be nearly certain to be snapped up by some +worthless fortune-hunter. Now you will hardly believe me when I +tell you that the Christian matrons of this town shake their +garments at the poor child, and insist that her presence would +be a contamination to the pure atmosphere they breathe.</p> + +<p>"Sophy is a quiet, modest, ladylike girl, and I am greatly +interested in her. But here I can do nothing. I am sure that +the great proportion of the ladies would be willing enough to +call upon her, but they are like society in general—a mere +flock of sheep, who will only follow where the bell-wethers +lead them. Now, the two or three ladies who act in that +capacity to Canterbury society consider that this poor little +lamb will taint the whole flock, and therefore pronounce her +infect and excommunicated.</p> + +<p>"My dear old friend, I rely upon you and your kind wife to take +off the ban these Pharisees have lain upon her. If you will +both go over, during your stay here, to call upon her, +Canterbury will be only too glad to do the same. If a bishop +and his lady pronounce her visitable, who shall say them nay? I +know, old friend, that in the eyes of yourself and your wife +the sin of this poor girl's parents will not affect her. She is +not to blame, and why should their faults be visited upon her? +But I know that upon this head I need say nothing. Your wide +views of Christian love and charity are so well known, that any +word upon the subject would be superfluous. If you will do +this, my dear bishop, you will confer an inestimable benefit +upon Herbert Harmer and his grand-daughter; and you will very +greatly oblige,</p> + +<p>"Yours, very truly,</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Alfred Ashleigh.</span>"</p></blockquote> + +<p>All turned out as papa had hoped. The bishop, with his wife and +daughter, came down to spend a week with us. The day after they arrived +we had a perfect levee of visitors; and when the room was at its +fullest, Mr. Harmer came in, being, of course, in complete ignorance +that the visit had been principally brought about for his especial +benefit. The bishop greeted him warmly, for they mutually esteemed and +liked each other.</p> + +<p>"I am very glad, Mr. Harmer, to hear from our friend, the doctor, that +you have given up your hermit-mode of life, and are going out into the +world again. I suppose all these years you have been hoarding up +treasures: your house must be a perfect scientific museum by this time; +and the doctor tells me that your library is nearly perfect, of its +kind. I must really come over some day before I leave and inspect your +collection."</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer expressed the gratification the visit would afford him.</p> + +<p>"I shall certainly come," the bishop went on; "it will give me great +pleasure. Let me see. To-morrow I shall be engaged in calls upon my +friends in the town; suppose we say the day after. What do you say, my +dear?" he asked, raising his voice, to his wife, who was sitting on the +other side of the room, "I am going over the day after to-morrow to see +Mr. Harmer's museum and library; will you and Gertude accompany me? Your +adopted daughter," he added, turning to Mr. Harmer, "must be growing +quite a young woman by this time."</p> + +<p>"Certainly, my dear," his wife answered, "I should like it very much."</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer's face flushed with pleasure, and he wrung the bishop's hand. +It was easy to see that he felt the kindness, and saw the true motive of +the offer to brings his wife and daughter to Harmer Place. As to the +remainder of those present, they were simply astounded. The buzz of +conversation ceased throughout the room, and a dead silence ensued. As +for myself, I should certainly have laughed out loud—had not the +silence been so great that I dared not do so—at the general look of +dismay in the female faces, and of rather amusement on the part of the +gentlemen, who I could guess had been vainly urging their wives to call. +The conversation presently became general again, but the effort was too +great to be continued long; and in a very few minutes most of those +present took their leave, only to be succeeded by fresh callers, until +half-past four, after which hour it was the strict etiquette of +Canterbury that no visits were permissible.</p> + +<p>On the appointed day the visit was paid. I accompanied them in the +carriage, and papa rode on horseback.</p> + +<p>The Miss Harmers were away, as, indeed, had been the case since Sophy +had left school and taken up her permanent residence there. Sophy was +pale, and evidently very nervous; and in her manifest desire to please +it was easy to see that she was much affected, and deeply grateful for +the kindness which would be the means of removing the disadvantages +under which she had laboured, and which had weighed much upon her mind. +However, before the visit, which lasted some time, as the library and +collection of scientific apparatus had to be inspected, was over, she +had recovered her usual placid demeanour.</p> + +<p>This visit had the consequences which papa had predicted from it. +Society unanimously agreed that although certainly it was a strange, a +very strange step for the bishop and his lady to have taken, still as +they had done so, there could be no harm in every one else doing the +same; in fact that it would only be what was right and proper. The +ladies whom papa had rather irreverently spoken of in his letter as the +bell-wethers of the flock, held out to the last and declared that they +could not reconcile it to their conscience, or to their sense of what +was due to their husbands' position. But the flock were no longer +obedient to their lead, and indeed whispered amongst themselves, that a +bishop's lady, who was moreover the daughter of a peeress, must know a +good deal better what was proper and right than a mere canon's wife +could do; and the consequence was that from that moment the influence of +these ladies over Canterbury society waned much, and the opposition to +poor Sophy recoiled upon the heads of those who had made it. In a short +time every one in Canterbury and the neighbourhood called at Harmer +Place, and the general verdict upon Sophy was decidedly satisfactory. +She was pronounced quiet, self-composed, and ladylike; and indeed Sophy +evinced none of that nervousness which she had shown upon the occasion +of the bishop's visit. To him she felt she owed all; to these people +nothing. So, although perfectly polite and courteous, she was yet +composed and tranquil; and some of the ladies who had called, quite +prepared to be very patronizing and kind, found any such line of conduct +completely out of the question. There was a quiet dignity and self +possession about her which became her much. She was the well-bred +hostess receiving her grandfather's guests, and few girls enacting such +a part for the first time could have played it so well.</p> + +<p>For three or four months after the bishop's visit had given the signal +for society to admit Sophy Needham within its circle, the intercourse +was restricted to morning calls of an extremely formal nature, which +seemed by no means likely to bring about the result, to obtain which Mr. +Harmer had emerged from his solitude; he made up his mind, therefore, to +break the ice, which again seemed setting over the surface of the +Canterbury society, by giving a series of picnics and open air fêtes. +The first of these took place early in June, when I was away at school; +but I heard full particulars of it upon my return. The whole of the +inhabitants of Canterbury and the neighbourhood whose position rendered +them eligible were invited, together with the officers of the garrison, +a very necessary addition at Canterbury, where dancing young men are +almost unknown. A large marquee was erected and boarded for dancing, a +quadrille band brought down from London, and the military band engaged +for the afternoon. Archery butts were set up, bowling-greens mowed and +rolled, and coloured lamps placed in all the walks, to be illuminated +after dusk. People met at between three and four, had a substantial tea +at six, and a magnificent supper at eleven. Nothing, in short, which +taste and an unlimited purse could do, was neglected, and the result was +a splendid success. And yet early in the evening a difference had arisen +which would have marred the pleasure of the whole scene had it not been +for the firmness of Mr. Harmer. It seemed that soon after nine o'clock +when it began to get dusk, some of the ladies of the precincts had +objected strongly to the coloured lamps which had just been lighted, and +which began to sparkle in the trees and grass by the side of the various +walks. Not in themselves, for they allowed the effect to be very pretty; +but as offering inducements and pretexts for isolated couples to stroll +away, and get entirely beyond maternal supervision. Two of the ladies +waited upon Mr. Harmer as a sort of deputation from the others, and it +happened that one of them was the chief of the party who had opposed +Sophy Needham's introduction into society, but who had at last come to +the conclusion that, as others were going, it would be showing a want of +Christian feeling to refuse to do as others did. These ladies recited to +Mr. Harmer the objections they entertained, and concluded—</p> + +<p>"The lighted walks will tempt the young people to stroll away and get +quite out of our sight, and as all these thoughtless officers are sure +to persuade them to walk there, it will lead to all sorts of silly +nonsense and flirtation."</p> + +<p>"My dear ladies," Mr. Harmer said, "as to the result I entirely agree +with you, and as I, although I am an old fellow now, do like to see +young people enjoying themselves, it is precisely for the very reason +that you have alleged that I have had the garden lighted up."</p> + +<p>There was nothing to reply to this, but one of the ladies said rather +angrily—</p> + +<p>"Of course, Mr. Harmer, you can do as you like, but we shall forbid our +daughters to walk there."</p> + +<p>"My dear madam," Mr. Harmer said, gently, "you can equally of course do +as you please; but it appears to me, and it will appear to every one +else, if you issue such an order, that you can have but a very poor +opinion of, and very slight confidence in, the principles of your +daughters. You show, in fact, that you cannot trust them to stroll for a +few minutes, with gentlemen they have never met before, in well-lighted +walks, where there will be dozens of other couples similarly enjoying +themselves. Were I in your place, I should hesitate greatly before I +laid such a serious imputation upon my children."</p> + +<p>The deputation retired greatly crestfallen, and the result was that for +that evening the young Canterbury girls were for the first time in their +lives nearly emancipated from maternal supervision, and enjoyed the +evening proportionately, flirting with a zest all the greater for its +being an amusement indulged in for the first time, and making their +mothers' hearts swell, and their mothers' hair figuratively stand on end +at such unheard of goings on. Another consequence of the lighted walks +was that many families of girls who had never hitherto been allowed to +dance except in quadrilles, now found themselves allowed to waltz as +they pleased. Not that their mothers' views of the extreme impropriety +of such dances had undergone any change; but that of two evils they +chose the least, and thought it better to have their daughters waltzing +under their eyes, than that they should be wandering away altogether +beyond their ken.</p> + +<p>Why is it that mothers are so much stricter than fathers? It is certain +that it is so, and upon this occasion, while the mothers were inwardly +bewailing the conduct of their daughters, the fathers, although many of +them clergymen, were looking on with beaming faces on the young people +enjoying themselves so thoroughly; and more than one would have been +delighted, could such a thing have been permitted, to have put his +clerical dignity aside, and his clerical white neckcloth into his +pocket, and to have joined heartily in the fun.</p> + +<p>They did what they could to add to the general enjoyment, and several +times some of them gathered into a little knot, with two or three of +their wives, and sung some old glees—"Five times by the taper's light," +"The winds whistle cold," and "The chough and crow;" and splendidly they +sang them too. They had some famous voices among them, and I do not +think I have ever heard those fine old glees better sung than I have +heard them at Canterbury.</p> + +<p>Sophy, of course, attracted much attention throughout the evening, and +was constantly the centre of a little group of officers, not a few of +whom would have been very willing to have turned their swords into +ploughshares for her sake, and to have devoted their lives to the care +of her and her possessions.</p> + +<p>Sophy, however, by no means appeared to reciprocate their feelings in +her favour. She was naturally of a quiet and retiring disposition, and +did not care for dancing; and therefore, under the excuse of attending +to her guests, she danced very little; when she did so, her conversation +was so simple and straightforward, that any attempt at flirting upon the +part of her partners was out of the question. Altogether, although the +success of the fête was brilliant, as the officers agreed on their way +back to barracks, and that nothing could have been better done, still, +as far as Sophy was concerned—and several of them had previously +announced their intention of going in for the heiress, and had even +exchanged bets upon the subject—the affair was a failure. However, they +consoled themselves that there was plenty of time yet, especially as Mr. +Harmer had announced at supper, that another fête would take place that +day six weeks, upon the 28th of July, to which he invited all friends.</p> + +<p>This fête completely roused Canterbury from its usual lethargy, as Mr. +Harmer's return to the abode of his father had done twenty years before. +Every one gave parties; picnics upon a large scale were organized to +different places in the neighbourhood, and the officers of the garrison +gave a ball.</p> + +<p>At the second of Mr. Harmer's fêtes Polly and I were present, as it came +off just at the end of our holidays. I need not describe it, as it was +in most respects similar to the first, and was just as great a success. +I enjoyed myself very much, and danced a great deal with the officers, +who did not seem to consider my being a schoolgirl any bar to me as a +partner, as I had expected that they would have done. When not dancing I +amused myself in watching Sophy. I knew that Mr. Harmer wished her to +marry, and I was interested to see with what sort of a man she was +likely to be taken. But Sophy was so quiet, that she did not seem to +care in the least with whom she danced, or to evince the slightest +preference for any one. There was, however, one thing I noticed, and +that puzzled me a good deal at the time. I never spoke to any one about +it, but as events turned out, I afterwards bitterly regretted that I had +not done so. I noticed early in the evening a remarkably handsome man, +standing by himself, and watching Sophy as she danced. I did not know +him, and asked a lady next to me, who he was.</p> + +<p>"That is Robert Gregory, my dear, the son of Mr. Gregory, the +hop-factor, who died about two years ago. He was thought to have been a +wealthy man, but he died worth next to nothing. It was supposed that +this son of his—who is, I am told, one of the most idle and worthless +young men in the country—squandered it all away. He was absent some +years in London, and went on terribly there, and it is said that his +poor old father was silly and weak enough to ruin himself paying the +worthless fellow's debts. I am surprised to meet such a person in +respectable society; but I suppose Mr. Harmer knew nothing about him, +and only invited him as the son of a man who stood well in the town."</p> + +<p>Robert Gregory was certainly a very handsome man, of a powerful build, +about twenty eight years old. But as I watched him, his face seemed to +me, not to be a pleasant one, but to have a bold and defiant expression. +It might be merely the effect of what I had just heard; but certainly +the more I looked at the man the more I felt repelled by him. He was +still watching Sophy, and as I mechanically followed the direction of +his gaze, I distinctly observed her, to my intense surprise, glance two +or three times in his direction, not mere ordinary glances, which might +fall upon any one, but positive stolen looks, which rested upon him, and +were unmistakably in answer to his. After this I could not help watching +them whenever I was not dancing, and I observed her once or twice in the +course of the evening, as she passed by where he stood, exchange a word +or two with him, not naturally and openly, but speaking as she walked +past, so that no one, not watching as I was doing, would have noticed +it.</p> + +<p>I thought, as I have said, a good deal about it at the time. I did not +like to speak to papa upon such a subject, as it might seem like prying, +and, had there been nothing in it, it would have caused a great deal of +unpleasantness; still, I do think that I should finally have done so, +under promise of secrecy, had I not started for school next day. Before +Christmas came round, when I left school and came back for good, I had +forgotten all about the circumstance, and even had I not done so, should +certainly not have mentioned it after all that lapse of time.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII.</h2> + +<h3>INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD.</h3> + + +<p>About three months after I left school for good I received an invitation +to go up to London and stay for a month with Ada Desborough. This was a +great event. Ada told me that her mother was going to give a grand ball, +at which she was to come out, and that I should be formally introduced +to the world upon the same occasion; and she remarked that she flattered +herself that society in general ought to rejoice at the advent of two +such charming votaries at its shrine. She added, in a postscript, that +her brother Percy would be at home on leave.</p> + +<p>I was, of course, delighted at the prospect of a month of real London +life, with its balls and operas, and looked forward to my visit as if +going into fairy-land. Mr. Harmer, when he heard of my invitation, made +me a very handsome present to buy myself dresses fitted for the +occasion. I had, therefore, a fortnight of excitement and preparation, +as my morning and walking dresses were made at Canterbury; but my +ball-dresses were ordered of a London dressmaker, as mamma thought that +Canterbury fashions would not do for me at Lady Desborough's.</p> + +<p>At last all was ready, and I started for town. Papa put me in charge of +a lady of his acquaintance, who was also going to London, and then said +good-bye, with many comic injunctions as to my behaviour in good +society.</p> + +<p>Nothing particular happened on our journey to London, and when I got out +at the station, a tall footman, whose face I remembered, came up and +touched his hat, and asked what luggage I had.</p> + +<p>Lady Desborough had sent her carriage to meet me, and I began to realize +the fact that I had all at once become a young woman.</p> + +<p>I felt a little flurried when we drew up at the house in Eaton Square, +and the tall footman knocked at the door, in a way I thought +unnecessarily loud and important.</p> + +<p>However, I soon felt at home when Ada came flying downstairs into the +hall, and kissed me as warmly as she had done three months before when +we parted at Miss Pilgrim's.</p> + +<p>"Come along, Agnes, dear; never mind your things; they will be all +brought up safe. Your room is next to mine, with a door between, so we +shall be able to talk as much as we like. Mamma is not very well, and is +lying down, and you will not see her till dinner-time, so I have got you +all to myself for three hours. There, that is your room, and this is +mine."</p> + +<p>Very snug and comfortable they looked, with two large fires blazing in +the grates, which gave a cosy look to the rooms, and caused me to forget +the unusual grandeur of the furniture; for I should, I think, have +otherwise felt not a little awe-struck, it was all so very different +from my quiet old-fashioned low-ceiled room, with its white hangings, +down in Canterbury.</p> + +<p>However, I had no time to notice much then, for Ada, in her impulsive +way, was already occupied in taking off my wraps; this done, she again +kissed me, and then made me seat myself in a chair in front of the fire, +while she nestled down on a low stool beside me.</p> + +<p>"There, Agnes, now you will get warm again. Do you know you are looking +very well after your journey, and are certainly even prettier than when +I saw you last. I begin to think I was very foolish to have you here at +all: you will quite eclipse poor little me."</p> + +<p>I laughed at the nonsense she was talking, for Ada was one of the +loveliest girls I ever saw, and I—well, I believe I was pretty, but +certainly nothing to compare to Ada. We chatted merrily over old times, +and then Ada gave me the list of our engagements, which quite frightened +me, at the number of titled people I was going to visit. At last it was +time to get ready for dinner; so I went into my own room, where I found +Ada's maid had already unpacked my boxes, and put all my things away +ready for use into the drawers and wardrobes. I was therefore able to +take my time dressing, talking to Ada the while through the open door.</p> + +<p>When we went down into the drawing-room ready for dinner, we found Percy +sitting reading by the light of the bright fire. He must have heard the +rustle of our dresses as we entered, but he continued reading to the +last moment; then closing his book, reluctantly as it were, rose to +speak to us. As he did so he gave quite a start; he had evidently +expected to meet the schoolgirl he had seen nearly two years before, +looking demure and half frightened at his mamma's presence, and I +certainly felt flattered at the evident surprise and admiration his face +expressed when his eyes fell upon me. It was my first effect, and I +could not help colouring up and feeling gratified.</p> + +<p>"I need not say how do you do, Miss Ashleigh," he said, coming forward +to shake hands with me. "Your looks speak for themselves. I should +hardly have known you; how you have grown, and how very pretty you have +become."</p> + +<p>I coloured high in laughing confusion, and Ada said, coming to my +relief, "Really, Percy, how sadly <i>gauche</i> and unpolished you are in +your way of paying compliments: the idea of telling a young lady just +come out, that she has grown very pretty; just the sort of thing you +might have said to a little child, or a milkmaid. You might have +conveyed the idea, which in itself is true and unexceptionable, in some +delicate way in which it would have been acceptable. Grown pretty, +indeed! You never had much manners, Percy, but the Lancers certainly +have not improved you."</p> + +<p>"I really beg your pardon, Miss Ashleigh," he said, colouring almost as +much as I had done, "but I felt so much surprised for a moment at the +change in you, that I was obliged to express myself in the most +straightforward way: had what I said been less true, I should have put +it into some different form."</p> + +<p>"That is better, Percy," Ada said, approvingly.</p> + +<p>"Agnes, make one of your best Grendon House curtsies."</p> + +<p>I swept to the ground in a deep reverence, and then having quite +recovered my confusion by seeing Percy embarrassed by Ada's attack, I +was able to take my own part in the conversation; and—accustomed as I +was to wordy skirmishes with papa and Harry—with Ada on my side, we +soon completely silenced Percy, who, indeed, in a war of words, was no +match for either of us alone.</p> + +<p>Percy Desborough was, in my opinion, a handsome man; and yet, perhaps, +as I am prejudiced in his favour, my opinion may not be worth much, and +I do not think girls in general would have thought him so. He was now +nearly twenty-three, about middle height, rather slight, with a lithe, +sinewy figure: very upright. His brown hair was brushed back with a wave +from his forehead, for in the year of grace, 1848, young men had not +taken to cutting their hair like convicts, or charity boys. He had a +thoughtful and yet a quick eye, a firm, resolute mouth, and a white and +thin, but very nervous hand. He looked a soldier every inch, of the type +of which our Indian heroes are made; thoughtful, studious men, with warm +hearts, and iron resolutions, with manners quiet and gentle, but with +the fiery courage of a Bayard. He was as far removed from the ordinary +drawing-room soldier as can well be; men who, doubtless, when necessity +comes, are, as every English gentleman must be, brave as far as personal +courage goes, but who care little for their military duties, contenting +themselves with going through the daily routine, reserving all their +best energies for the evening. Men with a rather supercilious smile, and +languid air, with a great flow of small talk and compliments: men much +given to stroking their moustache and whiskers, and with an amazing idea +of their own powers of fascination; not, indeed, that I blame them for +that, for we girls do make such fools of them, that it is no wonder they +should consider that as far as we are concerned they are invincible. +Percy was, on the other hand, almost shy with women, and was very +studious, especially in all matters relating to his profession. He +expected, Ada told me, to embark for India with his regiment in about a +year's time, and he was working very hard at Hindostanee and the other +Eastern languages, in order to qualify himself for a staff appointment.</p> + +<p>Lady Desborough presently came down. She was extremely gracious and +cordial, and, although it was not more than six months since she had +seen me, she assured me that I had very much improved, especially in +figure and carriage,—the points, she observed, in which young girls +generally fail; and she said she should be quite proud of two such +belles as Ada and myself to introduce into society.</p> + +<p>We dined earlier than usual, and did not sit so long at the table. This +was a great relief to me, as I hardly felt enough at home to have quite +recovered from my old sense of oppression at the extreme stateliness of +the meal. The reason for this change was, that we were going to the +opera in the evening. We had dressed for it before dinner, so that there +was no time lost, and we entered Lady Desborough's box a little before +the overture began. Lady Desborough insisted on us girls taking the +front seats. She sat between us, but rather farther back, while Percy +stood sometimes behind Ada, sometimes behind me.</p> + +<p>While the overture was going on, Ada told me to look down upon the sea +of heads below. It was wonderful, but yet a little confusing, there were +so many men looking up with opera-glasses, and a great many of them +seemed gazing right into our box.</p> + +<p>"How very rude they are, Ada!"</p> + +<p>Ada laughed. She had often been there before, and was accustomed to it.</p> + +<p>"My dear, it is the greatest possible compliment to us. All these +lorgnettes turned to our box proclaim us indisputable belles. Men would +not take the trouble to look at us if we were not pretty. There, child, +don't colour up so; the only way is to look perfectly indifferent, as if +you were quite unconscious of it."</p> + +<p>It was easy advice to give, and I followed it to the best of my power; +but I felt very hot and uncomfortable till the curtain drew up, and then +I was too entirely absorbed in the music to have noticed it, even if the +whole house had been looking at me.</p> + +<p>It was to me an evening of enchantment. The opera was "Lucrezia Borgia," +with Alboni as Orsini, and I had never before conceived it possible that +the human voice was capable of producing such exquisite full liquid +notes as those which poured from her, seemingly without the slightest +effort. It was marvellous, and I was literally enchanted; and even +between the acts I did not recover sufficiently from the effect it +produced on me to listen to Ada, who wanted to talk, and tell me who +every one was in the different boxes.</p> + +<p>When we reached home, Lady Desborough said it was quite a treat going +with any one who enjoyed herself as thoroughly as I did. The first time +Ada went she did not seem to care in the least about the music, and only +occupied herself in asking who all the people were.</p> + +<p>The next day we went for a drive in the park, and I was quite astonished +and delighted at the number and beauty of the carriages and horses; for +in our walks at school, we had only kept in the secluded parts of the +park and gardens, and had never been allowed to go near the fashionable +quarters. It was quite a new pleasure to me. But whatever I felt, I knew +it was right and proper to sit quite still, and to look passive and +quiet as Ada did, especially as numbers of ladies in carriages bowed to +Lady Desborough, and men on horseback lifted their hats, or sometimes +rode up to the carriage and spoke. Ada knew most of them by name, but +very few to speak to, as her mamma had not been in the habit of taking +her out to drive with her, or of introducing her to any one, as she was +not yet out. But now as we were to appear the next evening in public, +Lady Desborough introduced several of the gentlemen to us, and some of +them rode for a little way by the side of the carriage, talking to her +ladyship, and sometimes exchanging a few words with Ada and myself. That +evening we were a quiet little party, and after Ada and I had played +some of our old school duets together, we went to bed quite early, in +order to be fresh for the next day's fatigues.</p> + +<p>What an exciting day that was! Early in the morning Gunter's men came +and took possession of the dining-room, turning it completely upside +down. A large cartload of benches and tressels came at the same time, +and they took the dining-table away, and erected a large horse-shoe +table in its place. In the mean time the upholsterer's men were hard at +work in the drawing-room. First they removed all the furniture from it; +then they took out the window-sashes, and erected a most lovely little +tent over the whole balcony, lined with white and blue muslin, and +furnished with couches, forming a most charming place to go out into +between the dances. Having done this, they stretched a drugget over both +drawing-rooms, and placed forms round the room. As soon as they were +gone, Ada and I came into it, and performed a waltz on the drugget, +which was pronounced stretched to perfection. About this time Percy +arrived from Covent Garden, where he had been to see that the flowers +which had been previously ordered were coming. Scarcely had he arrived +when two carts drove up to the door full of them. We thereupon formed +ourselves into a council of taste, and the flowers were distributed +under our supervision in the hall, in the room behind the +dining-room—which was to be for tea and ices—on the landings of the +staircase, and in the grates of the drawing-rooms. The conservatory had +been filled the day before, and a perfumed fountain from Rimmel's, +placed there to play during the evening. When all was done, we +pronounced the effect to be charming. Lady Desborough, at Ada's request, +came down from her room, where she had been all the morning, to inspect +the arrangements, which she pronounced exceedingly good. Indeed it +looked extremely well, for the drawing-rooms, which were very large and +handsome, had been repapered specially for the occasion, Lady Desborough +being determined that nothing should be wanting, and their effect, with +the pretty tent outside, and the large boudoir opening from the farther +end, was really lovely. When she had inspected everything, she said that +she particularly wished us to lie down for a time in the afternoon, and +to get a short sleep if possible, if not to take a book, but at all +events to keep quiet, in order that we might be fresh in the evening. +This advice we of course had to follow, but it was very unpalatable to +us both, as we were girls enough to enjoy all the bustle immensely; +still there was no help for it; and so we went up to our rooms, where +lunch, by Lady Desborough's orders, was brought up to us. After that we +lay down, but I don't think either of us closed our eyes. I am sure I +was far too excited at the thought of the evening before me. Presently +Ada came into my room, and said that lying down was out of the question, +so we wheeled two easy chairs before the fire, and sat there and chatted +quietly.</p> + +<p>By six o'clock the supper was all laid, under the superintendence of +Gunter's managing man himself, and the effect, when we went in to see it +on our way down to dinner in the back dining-room, was certainly superb. +Even Lady Desborough condescended to express her conviction to Gunter's +managing man, that nothing could be better.</p> + +<p>After this, the house subsided into quiet, and soon after seven we went +up to dress. We had thus nearly three hours before us, as it was quite +certain no one would come before ten; and I confess I did not see how we +could possibly occupy all that, and was half inclined to side with Percy +in his remarks as to the absurdity of our being so long at our toilet. +However, Ada paid no attention to what he said, and, of course, I went +up-stairs with her. It was very pleasant up there, and we chatted a long +time, sitting before Ada's fire, before we made any signs of beginning +to dress.</p> + +<p>Presently a knock at the door interrupted us, and we were told that the +hairdresser was below.</p> + +<p>"I will go down first, Agnes; you get on with your dressing. I shall not +be twenty minutes at most."</p> + +<p>While I was dressing a small parcel was brought up, which had been left +at the door for me. It contained a note and a small jewel-box. The note +was from Messrs. Hunt and Roskell, saying, "That they had received +orders from Mr. Harmer, of Canterbury, to send me a cross, the choice of +which he had left with them, and a small chain to suspend it round my +neck. That they trusted the jewel would give me satisfaction; but that, +if I wished, they would exchange it for any other in their shop, if I +would favour them with a call." The contents of the case were a small +cross, composed entirely of very large diamonds, of the value of which I +had no idea, but which looked very lovely, and a small chain to hang it +round my neck. I said nothing to Ada, although the door was open, as I +wished to surprise her.</p> + +<p>Ada's maid seemed a long time to me putting the finishing touches to my +dress; for I was not accustomed to all these little minutiæ; but at last +it was done, and I turned round to go into Ada's room—she having been +dressed by Lady Desborough's own maid—when she came into the room to +me, and as she did so we uttered an exclamation of mutual admiration. +Ada certainly looked lovely; she was dressed in white silk, with white +tulle over it, which was looped up with scarlet flowers, and she had a +wreath of the same, with green leaves in her dark hair; round her neck +was a beautiful necklace of pearls of great value, which was, I believe, +a family heirloom.</p> + +<p>My dress, like hers, was of white silk, with a skirt of lovely Brussels +lace, a present from Mr. Harmer, over it. This was slightly looped up +with blue forget-me-nots, and I had a wreath of the same flowers in my +hair.</p> + +<p>"Oh Agnes," Ada exclaimed, after our first burst of mutual +congratulations was over, "Oh, Agnes, what a lovely diamond cross; where +did you get it from? you never showed it me before."</p> + +<p>I explained to her the manner in which I had just received it.</p> + +<p>"Well, Agnes, that Mr. Harmer of yours is a trump, as Percy would say. +What a beautiful thing. Have you any idea of the value of it?"</p> + +<p>I knew nothing of the value of diamonds, and suggested twenty pounds.</p> + +<p>"Twenty pounds, you silly child," Ada said; "you don't deserve to have +presents made you. If I know anything of diamonds, it is worth two +hundred."</p> + +<p>"You don't mean that, Ada," I exclaimed, quite frightened at the idea of +carrying such a valuable thing round my neck; "you are only laughing at +me."</p> + +<p>"I can assure you I am in earnest, Agnes; they are quite worth that; +they are splendid diamonds, and the cross looks quite a blaze of light +on your neck."</p> + +<p>We were down stairs by a quarter to ten. Percy was already there, and +paid us both many nonsensical compliments. Lady Desborough soon came +down, and also expressed herself highly pleased with our appearance. She +fully endorsed what Ada had said as to the value of the cross, and said +that it was worth more than Ada had put it at, perhaps nearly twice as +much.</p> + +<p>"Now," she said, when Percy had gone out of the room to fetch something +he had forgotten, "I wish to give you a last piece of advice. I give it +to you, Miss Ashleigh, as much as I do to Ada, for as you come out under +my charge, I consider myself as responsible for you equally. To you, +Ada, I say be very careful you do not let your high spirits run away +with you; above all, do not become noisy: I know well what your tendency +is. This does not apply to you, Miss Ashleigh, for although you have +good spirits, I know you are not likely to let them run away with you as +Ada is. Do not either of you, I beg, dance more than once, or at most +twice with any gentleman. This applies equally to you, Miss Ashleigh, as +the heiress to a considerable fortune. It is incumbent on you both to be +very careful with whom you dance,—I mean, dance frequently: there is +nothing more damaging to a girl than that her name should be mentioned +as seen flirting with any but a most eligible party; and as at present +you do not know who is who, you cannot be too careful."</p> + +<p>Here Percy's return interrupted any further advice which Lady Desborough +might have been disposed to have tendered us; and in a few minutes the +visitors began to arrive, and my first ball began.</p> + +<p>I may here mention, with reference to Lady Desborough's remark about my +being an heiress, that Clara Fairthorne had brought the news to school, +when Mr. Harmer's intentions with respect to us were publicly announced, +and from that time we were generally known there by the nickname of the +"heiresses."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX.</h2> + +<h3>THE OLD STORY.</h3> + + +<p>I never enjoyed myself in my life as much as I did at that ball. Lady +Desborough introduced a good many of the first comers to me, and Percy +brought up more. He had engaged me for the first waltz, and he presently +asked me for the first polka after supper; and my card was soon quite +full for the whole evening.</p> + +<p>At some times I should have been sorry for this, as one does not like to +be obliged to refuse any very eligible looking man who may be introduced +to one. Besides, it prevents dancing a second dance with any +particularly pleasant partner,—that is, of course, unless one has the +coolness to turn out some one already on the list, which at that time I +certainly had not.</p> + +<p>But that night I preferred having fresh partners every dance. It was all +so new to me, and I wanted to see everything; and in this way I was less +engaged in interesting conversation, and was able to give more attention +to what was going on.</p> + +<p>It was a brilliant scene. The <i>élite</i> of London society were there, and +very beautiful were many of the faces, and very exquisite the dresses. +Not one of them all through was more lovely than Ada, and almost every +one of my partners remarked to me how very lovely she was; indeed, she +made quite a sensation.</p> + +<p>The men I was not so much struck with. They were very +distinguished-looking and very gentlemanly and polished in +manner,—very, very different from what few young men there were at +Canterbury. But they had a languid air about them which impressed me +unpleasantly. They gave me the idea that they had gone out so much into +society that they had quite ceased to care for dancing, and that even +conversation was too much labour to be undertaken; and I knew it was bad +taste, but I certainly preferred as partners the officers I had met at +Canterbury to these languid young Guardsmen and scions of nobility.</p> + +<p>For myself, I could not understand how any one could help dancing with +spirit to that inspiring music; and the only drawback to my enjoyment +was that the rooms were so very full that one was dreadfully squeezed +and knocked about. However, on my venturing to remark to one of my +partners that the room was extremely full, I found that I knew nothing +about it, for he answered,—</p> + +<p>"Dear me! Do you think so, now? Why, every one has been remarking to me +how pleasant it is that the rooms are not crowded."</p> + +<p>I found afterwards that my partner was right, and that I had shown my +ignorance; for, at some of the balls I went to afterwards, the crush was +so great that dancing was literally an impossibility.</p> + +<p>I felt very thankful I had been to the opera, for most of my partners, +on finding I was fresh from the country, asked that question, having, I +suppose, no other topic in common with me. Had I danced oftener than +once with some of them, no doubt my conversations would have been more +lively. As it was, with a few exceptions, they were not interesting. But +they all danced well, and that part I did enjoy most thoroughly. Most of +all I liked my dances with Percy, for he told me who every one was, and +did it really good naturedly, while some of my other partners, who had +done the same, had been as sarcastic and ill-natured about every one, as +if they thought that it must give me pleasure to hear other people run +down; whereas, when they were making depreciating remarks upon other +girls' dresses and manners, I could not but feel quite uncomfortable in +wondering what they would say about me presently.</p> + +<p>Percy managed to take me down to supper, carrying me off from my last +partner in a very dexterous manner; and, what was very nice, he managed +to get me a place next to Ada, who had been taken down by young Lord +Holmeskirk, a very pleasant young fellow in the Guards. Ada introduced +him to me at once, and he pleaded very hard for a dance after supper; I +told him that my card was full, but he urged it so much that I said at +last I would dance with him if he would manage it for me, but that I had +not the least idea how it was to be done. I may here say that he did so; +the second dance after supper, coming up to me as I was leaning on +Percy's arm, after my polka with him, and saying, in the quietest way, +"I believe I have the pleasure of this dance, Miss Ashleigh," he carried +me off immediately the music struck up, before my real partner, whoever +he was, could find me. Not being accustomed to this sort of thing, and +not having the least idea who it was I was engaged to, I felt quite +nervous and uncomfortable for the next dance or two, expecting that +every gentleman who came near me was on the point of reproaching me for +having broken my engagement to him. And, indeed, to the very end of my +stay in London, I could never bring myself, in spite of what Ada told me +about every one doing so, to turn off a partner in this way without +feeling that I was doing something very wrong. I dare say my conscience +would have been blunted in time, but as it was I never arrived at that +point. Lord Holmeskirk turned out the most pleasant partner of all I had +been introduced to, and I could chat with him with more freedom,—he was +so perfectly natural and unaffected.</p> + +<p>We were a very merry little group at supper; what I ate I have not the +slightest idea. Percy kept my plate constantly filled, but, with the +exception of strawberries and cream, I did not recognise a single thing +he gave me. Then we pulled crackers, and found the mottoes within them +of a singularly silly and unsatisfactory nature.</p> + +<p>At last we got up from supper, and went up to the drawing-room, and then +the gentlemen, at least those of them who were fortunate enough to find +seats, sat down; and when they once did so, I began to think they would +never come up again, they were such a terribly long time; and it seemed +such a waste to be sitting still doing nothing, with that splendid music +ready to go on again. While they were downstairs I was introduced to +several ladies, to whose houses I was going in the next few nights with +Lady Desborough and Ada.</p> + +<p>At last the gentlemen came up again, and we began to dance as if to make +up for lost time; for the dancing was certainly better than before +supper, and my partners more agreeable and chatty; besides, some of the +people had left, so that there was more room, and I enjoyed it +accordingly. I think every one else did the same, for there seemed to me +to be much more lively conversation and flirting going on than before +supper.</p> + +<p>I have said that I only danced once with each partner, but there was one +exception: this was Lord Bangley, a captain in the Guards. He was +introduced to me early in the evening, before my card was full, and he +begged so earnestly for two dances that I had no excuse for refusing +him; but of all the partners I had that evening, I disliked him +certainly the most. He was a handsome man, that I could not deny; but +that was all I could say for him. He was tall and very stiff—so stiff +that his head seemed set too far back—with a supercilious sneering +manner, a very harsh unpleasant voice, and an insufferable air of +arrogance and conceit.</p> + +<p>Ada told me next day that Lord Bangley had condescended to express to +her his great approval of my appearance and manner. I curtsied low when +Ada told me, but all that I could say was, "that the feeling was by no +means reciprocal."</p> + +<p>Presently the room began to thin in earnest, and there was a great noise +outside, in the intervals of the music, of shouting for carriages and +prancing of horses; and then, in a very short time, they were all gone, +and there remained in the great drawing-room only Lady Desborough, Ada, +Percy, and myself.</p> + +<p>"What do you think of your first ball?" Lady Desborough asked.</p> + +<p>"Oh, delightful!" we exclaimed simultaneously; "we could have gone on +dancing all night."</p> + +<p>"It has gone off very well indeed, and I am perfectly satisfied with +everything. But now let us go off to bed; we shall have plenty of time +to talk it all over in the morning."</p> + +<p>It was, however, very long before Ada and</p> + +<p>I went to bed. We took off our ball-dresses, let down our hair, put our +feet into slippers, and then sat by the fire in my room talking over the +evening, and our partners, and our impressions of everything.</p> + +<p>At last I said, "If we do not go to bed soon, Ada, we may as well give +up all idea of going at all. It is nearly six o'clock."</p> + +<p>Ada rose to go into her own room.</p> + +<p>"We have a good five hours to sleep yet. We shall not breakfast till +twelve. Good night, dear."</p> + +<p>After this memorable <i>entrée</i> into society, we were out nearly every +night, until, before the end of a month, I had had quite enough of +parties and balls, and was really glad when we had a quiet evening to +ourselves.</p> + +<p>Sometimes, before going to the balls, we went to the opera, which, I +think, after a time I liked more than the parties. Percy always +accompanied us there, but he did not often go the balls, which I was +sorry for; I liked him so much as a partner, and I could talk with him, +so much more naturally and freely about every one there, than I could +with my other partners.</p> + +<p>For the first few nights I went out, Lord Bangley was very attentive to +me; but I disliked him so much that at last I always was engaged when he +asked me to dance; and, although he was very slow to see that any one +really could dislike dancing with so very exalted a person as himself, +he at last was forced to adopt that conclusion, and so gave up asking +me, which was a great relief to me, for his disagreeable manner quite +oppressed me.</p> + +<p>Ada, one morning at breakfast—at which meal, by the bye, Lady +Desborough never appeared—was laughing at me about him, when I said, +sharply, that I could not bear him, and that I had shown him so most +unmistakably.</p> + +<p>"I am glad to hear you say so, Agnes," Percy said; for by this time Ada +had pointed out to us the extreme absurdity of our being constantly +together for two months, and calling each other Miss Ashleigh and Mr. +Desborough all that time. So Percy, having obtained my willing consent, +took to calling me Agnes, while I don't think I called him anything; but +really Percy came almost naturally to my lips, for Ada had so often +spoken of him to me by that name. "I am very glad to hear you say so, +Agnes; Bangley is hated by his brother officers, and and is what I +should call, although an earl's son, a downright snob;—a snob, because +he is conceited about his advantages of person and position;—a snob, +because he is a narrow-minded, empty-headed coxcomb."</p> + +<p>"Well done, oh! most outspoken brother," Ada said. "Pray what offence +has poor Lord Bangley given you for all this outburst?"</p> + +<p>"No particular offence, Ada; but I can't bear the fellow."</p> + +<p>"Curious, now," Ada said, rather mischievously; "I never heard you say +anything against him before: your dislike must be of very recent +origin."</p> + +<p>"Recent or not recent," Percy said, dogmatically, "I can't bear him."</p> + +<p>After I had been three weeks in London, Lady Desborough asked me to stay +two months instead of one, as I had originally intended. She kindly said +that it was so very advantageous and pleasant for Ada having me with +her, and, indeed, pressed me so much that I saw she really wished it, +and on my part I was only too glad to prolong my stay.</p> + +<p>I was quite at home now in society, and knew nearly every one, and +enjoyed the conversation now as much, or more, than the dancing. Ada +told me one morning, when I had been there about five weeks, that I was +getting a perfect flirt—quite as bad as she was—indeed worse, because +quieter—and therefore much more dangerous.</p> + +<p>"There is Lord Holmeskirk, Agnes: he is quite assiduous in his +attentions to you. Now, Percy, you have certainly nothing to say against +him, for he is an exceedingly nice, unaffected fellow."</p> + +<p>"Holmeskirk," broke in Percy, "why, he is a mere boy!"</p> + +<p>"He is an officer in the Guards, Percy. He is, I grant you, two years +younger than your sapient self; still he is more than three years older +than Agnes. Don't mind what he says, my dear: you have my free consent +and approbation. I only wish it had been my magnificent self at whom he +had deigned to throw his handkerchief."</p> + +<p>"Nonsense, Ada. I do wish you would get out of the way of always talking +such ridiculous nonsense;" and Percy got up quite crossly, and went +straight out of the room.</p> + +<p>Ada lifted her eyes in comic amazement and penitence.</p> + +<p>"Dear me! to think of my having angered his royal highness! Did I say +anything very dreadful, Agnes? I do not remember his being so fierce +with me since I was twelve years old. One would think he had been +crossed in love. Eh, Agnes! what do you say to that?" she asked, with +rather a mischievous tone.</p> + +<p>"I am sure I do not know," I said, composedly.</p> + +<p>"Oh, you are sure you do not know! Well, let us see if we can guess. Not +long ago, when Lord Bangley was in question, he became furious against +him; now, he is enraged with me for recommending that nice little Lord +Holmeskirk. Put two and two together, my dear, and four is the undoubted +result."</p> + +<p>"What nonsense you are talking, Ada!" I said, colouring greatly. "Your +brother no more thinks anything about me than—than—" and I stopped for +a comparison.</p> + +<p>"Than you do about him," Ada suggested.</p> + +<p>"He thinks nothing of me," I said, ignoring her suggestion, "except as +an old school-fellow and friend; and I really am surprised, Ada, that +ever you should talk such nonsense."</p> + +<p>"Very well, my dear," Ada said, tranquilly; "then I will say no more +about it. I certainly thought I had an average amount of perception, and +could see as far into a brick wall as my neighbours; but it seems I +cannot. I know, now, that my brother, who never cared for music, and who +never went ten times to the opera in his life, only goes every night we +do because he has acquired a sudden taste for music. Still, in that +case, you will allow it is odd that he should sit so much behind your +chair, and talk to you all the time the music is going on. No doubt, +however, he is criticising the performance for your benefit; but, as he +never speaks loud enough for me to hear, of course I could not guess +that. Another thing too, is, to say the least of it, strange—Percy, +till you came, was at work all day in his room upon Sanscrit and +Hindostanee, and smoking so, that, in spite of the double doors which he +has on purpose, the upper part of the house used quite to smell of his +cigars, and I was always expecting mamma to complain about it. It is, +then, certainly strange that he should now find time to idle away all +his morning with us, and to ride out by the side of our carriage in the +Park of an afternoon. However, I dare say all this is because he has +finished his study of Eastern tongues, and is arrived at perfection in +them. How stupid I have been not to have thought of all this before!" +and here Ada went on sipping her coffee, as if quite convinced that she +had been altogether in error.</p> + +<p>Honestly, I was astonished. It had seemed so natural having Percy +always with us, so pleasant listening to his sensible conversation, +so different from the light flow of badinage we heard of an +evening—it seemed such a matter of course, to enjoy the little +quiet—well—flirtation at the opera, that, up to this moment, I can say +honestly that it had never seriously entered my head that Percy +Desborough cared for me. As, however, I thought over all our +conversation together, not so much what he had said as the way in which +he had said it, the conviction came over me that perhaps Ada was right +after all; and the colour came mounting up into my face, till I felt a +deep crimson even over my forehead.</p> + +<p>Ada was watching me, although she did not seem to be doing so; and +guessing, from what she could see of my face, that I had arrived at the +conclusion that it was as she said, she jumped up from her chair, and, +kneeling down by me in her old impulsive way, she put her arms round me, +and kissed my burning cheeks.</p> + +<p>"You dear, silly, blind Agnes! you know I am right, and that Percy loves +you."</p> + +<p>I was silent a little, and then I said—</p> + +<p>"But are you sure of what you say, Ada?"</p> + +<p>"Quite sure, Agnes: he has not yet said as much to me, but I know it +just as well as if he had. Have I not seen the way he looks at you when +you are not noticing him? My dear child, I am quite sure about him. But +about you, Agnes, do you care for him?"</p> + +<p>"I never thought of him so, Ada—never once. I liked him very much +indeed, but it never entered my mind that he cared for me in that way; +so I never thought of it."</p> + +<p>"But now you know he does?" Ada persisted, kissing me coaxingly.</p> + +<p>"Ah, but I don't know yet, Ada; so you will get no answer from me on +that head. But, oh, Ada!" I exclaimed, suddenly. "What would Lady +Desborough say? Oh, I do hope it is not true! What would she say to +Percy falling in love with a country doctor's daughter?"</p> + +<p>Ada did not look at all alarmed.</p> + +<p>"My dear," she said, laughing, "I do not think you need trouble yourself +on that score. Country doctors' daughters, in general, are not heiresses +of twenty-five thousand pounds. Mamma is, no doubt, ambitious, and +expects that I shall make a great match; and had Percy been like other +people, and remained in the Guards, and stayed at home, I dare say she +would have thought nothing under a duke's daughter good enough for him. +As it is, all that is changed. She was very angry indeed with him about +it, but she has given it up now. Here he is in a regiment which in a +year or so will go on foreign service; he is mad enough to intend to go +with it, and where is he then? You may be quite sure of one thing, +Agnes. My mamma is a very excellent woman, but she knows far too much of +human nature not to have weighed in her mind, and accepted the +possibility of Percy's falling in love, before she invited a very pretty +girl like you to spend a month in the house at a time she knew Percy +would be at home on leave."</p> + +<p>I had no reply ready to this argument of Ada's, which I knew enough of +Lady Desborough to feel was true; so I kissed her, and told her that she +had talked quite nonsense enough for one morning, and that it was quite +time to get ready to go out.</p> + +<p>The last three weeks I spent in Eaton Square were perhaps more happy +than the previous time, but I don't think they were so pleasant; that +is, I did not feel so much at home. Before, I had been with Percy as I +might have been with a brother, or rather, perhaps, with a cousin; but +now, to feel in my heart—as I now did feel—that he looked at me in +quite another way, made me feel different, and at times a little awkward +with him. Before, if Ada left the room for any thing, I continued to +chat with Percy as unconcernedly as if she had been present; now, I made +some excuse to accompany her, or, if obliged to remain, rattled on about +anything that came uppermost, to prevent the conversation by any +possibility taking a serious turn.</p> + +<p>Ada told me one day that Percy had asked her the reason of my remaining +away so; but I told her she had no one to blame but herself, who had +made me uncomfortable by talking nonsense to me about him.</p> + +<p>"But he is very much in earnest, Agnes. He spoke to me last night, and +said he was only waiting for an opportunity of speaking to you. You +won't say 'no,' will you, Agnes darling?"</p> + +<p>She asked in her coaxing way, kissing me as she used to do at school +when she wanted me to do anything for her.</p> + +<p>I did not answer. I felt very very happy to know now for certain that he +loved me, still, I could not answer that question except to himself, +especially to Ada, who would be sure whatever she promised me, to tell +Percy. So I said at last, "There is no use, Ada, in his speaking to me +now at all. I would never accept him or any other man, even if I loved +him with all my heart, until my father had seen and liked him."</p> + +<p>"But how is Dr. Ashleigh to see Percy?" Ada asked, with a dismayed face.</p> + +<p>"Of course, Ada, it is not for me to make arrangements for your +brother," I said quietly; and then, after a pause, seeing her blank +dismay, I went on, "It is not for me to suggest, Ada; but as you have +promised to come down for a week to us, in another six weeks when the +season is over, on your way to Lady Dashwood's, I have no doubt that +papa would be very happy to see your brother if he should be happening +to accompany you."</p> + +<p>I was conscious that although I said this laughingly, I was blushing +crimson; but still I felt it was better so than that Percy should ask me +now, for I quite meant what I said about papa's consent; but I was by no +means sure of my own resolution if he asked me, which he was certain to +do if I did not somehow put it off. Ada looked me full in the face, she +saw that it would be as she wished, and she took me very gently in her +arms, and we kissed each other lovingly, as if in pledge of the nearer +relationship we were to bear. And then she made one more effort.</p> + +<p>"But could you not say 'yes,' now, Agnes, and refer him to your papa? It +would be the same thing, and put him out of his suspense."</p> + +<p>"No, Ada," I said positively; "it would not be the same thing at all. If +I said 'yes,' but which, mind, I have not said that I ever shall do, +papa would be sure to give his consent because he loves me. But before I +am engaged to any one, I should like papa to see him and like him first, +and then when he tells me he approves my choice, I shall know he really +means what he says."</p> + +<p>After this, I have no doubt Ada told him something of what I had said, +for from that time they ceased to try and contrive <i>tête-à-têtes</i> +between us, and I saw that Percy was content to wait till the time I had +indicated. So I was much more comfortable with him. His leave expired, +and he went away three or four days before my visit ended. I took care +the last day or two not to be alone with him, for I confess I doubted my +own resolution as much as I did his. However, nothing was said till he +was going, and then as he was saying good-bye, he held my hand and said, +"Then I may hope to see you again in six weeks, Agnes?" and he looked so +earnestly at me, that my stupid colour would come rushing up.</p> + +<p>"Yes," I said, as steadily as I could, "papa will be very glad to see +you, if you should happen to be accompanying Ada."</p> + +<p>For a moment longer he held my hand, and it seemed to me that he drew me +a little towards him as if he were going to kiss me. If Ada had not been +in the room, I believe he would have done so; as it was, he lifted my +hand and pressed it to his lips, kissed Ada heartily, and was gone.</p> + +<p>The very last ball I went to before I left, a circumstance happened +which gave me great pain at the time. I was dancing with Lord +Holmeskirk, with whom, indeed, I danced more perhaps than with any one +else, and we were speaking of my leaving on the following day, and he +remarked almost seriously how much I should be missed, to which I +replied with laughing disbelief. After the dance was over we took our +seats on a sofa placed in a conservatory on the landing, half way up the +stairs, and which was otherwise unoccupied. It was quite surrounded by +flowers, so that although any one who came up-stairs could see us, still +no one could hear what we said.</p> + +<p>When we had sat down Lord Holmeskirk said, "So you do not think you will +be missed, Miss Ashleigh? Now I can assure you that at least by me your +absence will be keenly felt." And then without further introduction, he +made me an honest straightforward offer.</p> + +<p>I felt very surprised, and very very sorry, and told him so. I had +looked upon him as a very pleasant partner, and had liked him very much, +and I assured him that I had never for a moment imagined that he had +regarded me in any other light.</p> + +<p>"I don't suppose you love me now, Miss Ashleigh," he said earnestly. +"There is no reason in the world why you should; but don't you think you +could some day. Is it quite impossible that you may in time get to care +for me?" And the honest young nobleman looked so pleadingly up in my +face, that I could hardly restrain my tears.</p> + +<p>"Lord Holmeskirk," I said, "I am very sorry indeed for what you have +said to me. I am grieved that I should unwittingly have obtained the +love of a true heart such as yours is without being able to requite it. +It will be a matter of lasting regret to me. But it would be cruel +kindness to deceive you. I cannot encourage you even to hope. There are +many here far more fitted than I am to win your love, and whose rank +would render them far more suitable matches for you than I could be. +Your parents——"</p> + +<p>"I can assure you," he began, earnestly, "I have their consent; I have +already spoken to them."</p> + +<p>"I esteem you still more for having done so, Lord Holmeskirk, and I am +touched at their willingness to receive me; still, their consent must +have been the result rather of their affection for you, than their own +real approval of it."</p> + +<p>I saw at once in his open face that it was so, and that his parents' +consent had been reluctantly given.</p> + +<p>"It could not be otherwise," I said; "they naturally wish you to choose +one who, from her rank and connections, may strengthen your position, +however high that may be. And now, I can only say again how sorry I am +for the pain I have given you, but that it cannot be. I shall always +remember you with esteem and regard, and nothing will give me greater +pleasure than to hear you have made some happier choice."</p> + +<p>The young man saw that any further appeal would be hopeless, and the +tears stood in his honest grey eyes.</p> + +<p>"Thank you very much for your kindness, Miss Ashleigh, but, believe me, +I shall ever regard you——" "as a friend," I said, rising, and making a +movement to the staircase. He offered me his arm, and as we went up I +began chatting on indifferent subjects, as I did not wish any one to +even guess what had taken place. As we walked round the room, we passed +by where the countess, his mother, was sitting. I saw she looked at us +anxiously, and as her son caught her eye, he shook his head slightly in +answer to the question she asked, and I could see her eyes open, first +in astonishment, and then soften with a variety of emotions,—sorrow for +her son's disappointment,—pleasure that he was not going to make a +match which she could not have thought suitable. As we passed again, she +stopped us, and spoke a few words to me, for I had frequently spoken to +her before, and had liked her much, for she was a kind, motherly sort of +woman, though she was a countess. She said she heard this was my last +ball, and that she should quite miss my face amongst the dancers.</p> + +<p>"It is a fresh, happy face, my dear, and I hope it may continue so. +Good-bye; you have my best wishes;" and she shook hands with me very +kindly and affectionately, in a way which seemed to say a very great +many things which she could not well express.</p> + +<p>When I got back that evening, Ada, who had been rather silent on our way +home, came into my room, as she usually did, for a talk, and said, +"Agnes, I was going down the stairs to get an ice, and I saw you and +Lord Holmeskirk go into the conservatory together, and you were there +when I came up again, and I am quite sure by both your looks that he has +made you an offer. Well?"</p> + +<p>"What do you mean by <i>well</i>?" I asked, for I felt a little hurt that, +after what I had said to her about Percy, she should ever dream of the +possibility of my accepting any one else.</p> + +<p>"Of course I mean what did you answer? Don't keep me waiting, Agnes: you +don't know how anxious and impatient I have been to get home to ask +you."</p> + +<p>"After what I said to you about Percy, Ada," I said, rather coldly, "I +should have thought it hardly necessary to ask. Of course I refused +him."</p> + +<p>"There, you dear Agnes," Ada said, almost crying on my neck, "don't be +angry with me; but I have been so nervous, though I knew you would say +'no.' Still, it must require so much courage to refuse a nobleman; I +know I never could;" and so she went on till she coaxed me into a good +humour again, and we talked a long time before we went to bed. And so my +gaieties ended, and next morning, bidding adieu to Ada and Lady +Desborough, who was very gracious, and even kissed me, I started for +Canterbury, under charge of a lady who was going down, and whom I met by +arrangement on the platform of the station.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X.</h2> + +<h3>SUNSHINE AND SHADOW.</h3> + + +<p>Although I had enjoyed my trip to London immensely, yet I was very, very +glad to get back to my dear old home again; happier even than before, +for now, in addition to all my former home-pleasures, I had a secret +source of happiness to muse over when alone. How bright life appeared to +me, how thankful I felt for all my deep happiness, and how my heart +seemed to open to all created things!</p> + +<p>I had only one cause for sorrow, and that one which had for years been +seen as a dim shadow in the far distance, but which had been for the +last two or three years past increasing in magnitude, growing from vague +ill-defined dread, to the sad certainty of coming grief. I mean the +rapidly failing health of mamma.</p> + +<p>From my farthest back remembrance of her she had never been strong. Not, +perhaps, suffering from any decided pain or illness, but weak and +languid, and unequal to any unusual exertion. For years the great part +of her time had been spent on the sofa, but during the last few months +she had been unmistakably failing; on my return home after my visit in +London I found that there was a marked change in her appearance, and +that she had grown decidedly thinner and weaker in that short time.</p> + +<p>Papa, I could see, was very anxious about her; he was a good deal more +at home now, and spent as much time as he could spare in the room with +her, bringing his books in there, and sitting to study where she could +see his face, and so close that she could exchange a few words with him +occasionally without having to raise her voice. Ill as mamma was, I +think she was never so happy in her married life as she was at that +time. She now no longer troubled herself with domestic arrangements, but +left all that to me, and was content to lie, holding a book in her +wasted hands, and looking fondly across at her husband at his reading. +When papa was there she liked, I think, best being alone with him and +her thoughts; but when he was out, I used to take my work and sit beside +her, and talk when she felt inclined, which was not often. Indeed, I had +only one long conversation with her, which was about a month after I +came back.</p> + +<p>She had been lying very quiet one day, not speaking at all, but watching +me while I worked, when she said:</p> + +<p>"You have told us all about your trip to London, Agnes, and about your +gaieties and amusements; but I do not think you have told all. As you +sit there I can see sometimes the colour come up over your face, and +your lips part a little, and your eyes soften, while your fingers lie +idle on your work. Have you not some pleasant thoughts, dearest—some +sweet hope for the future which you have not yet spoken of? Tell me, +darling. I have not much longer to be with you, and it would make my +last time more happy to be able to think of your future as somewhat +secured, and to picture you to myself as mistress of some happy home. Am +I right, my child? Have you some such hope?"</p> + +<p>Kneeling down beside her, when my tears suffered me to speak, I told her +all that had passed between me and Percy, and that, although not yet +actually engaged, we should be when he came down, if papa and she +approved of him; and I explained to her the reason why I had not at once +told them about it was, that I wished them to see him with unbiased eyes +first of all, and to like him for his own sake, before they did for +mine. Mamma asked me several questions about Percy's dispositions and +habits, which I answered as minutely and fairly as I could; when I had +done she said:</p> + +<p>"I think from what you say, my darling, he will make you very happy, and +I shall be able to trust you to him. I shall look forward to seeing him. +I am very glad you have told me, my child; I shall have pleasant +thoughts of the future now, in addition to all my happy memories of the +past."</p> + +<p>From this time mamma grew fonder than ever of having me with her, and +would watch me as she watched papa. She liked me best to sit on a low +stool beside her, so close that without exertion she could softly stroke +my hair, and let her poor thin hand rest on my head. I did not go out +anywhere, except over to Sturry. There I went as often as I could; for I +liked Sophy, and loved Mr. Harmer, as indeed I had good reason to do. +About him papa was very uneasy; he had had a rather severe stroke of +paralysis when I was away in London, and, although he had greatly +recovered from it, he still felt its effects, and papa said that he must +be kept very quiet, for that any excitement might bring on another and +fatal attack.</p> + +<p>The first time I went over to see Mr. Harmer, I was quite shocked at the +change which had taken place since I had last seen him, little more than +two months before. He rose to meet me when I went into the library where +he was sitting, with quite his old smile of welcome, and I did not so +much notice the change till he was fairly on his feet. Then indeed I saw +how great it was. His old free, erect bearing was gone, and he stood +upright with difficulty, and when he tried to walk, it was in a stiff +and jointless sort of way, very painful to see. But the greatest +alteration was in his voice; formerly he spoke in such a frank, hearty, +joyous way, and now each word seemed to come out slowly and with +difficulty. Although papa had warned me that I should see a great change +in him, I had no idea of such a terrible alteration as this, and it was +so great a shock to me, that I could not help breaking down and crying.</p> + +<p>"You must not do that," Mr. Harmer said, placing me in a chair at one +side of him, while Sophy, who had gone in with me, sat on the other, and +he took my hand in his own, and held it there the whole time I was with +him. "You must not cry, Agnes; I am getting an old man, and could not, +in the ordinary course of nature, have expected to have lived many years +more. I have led a very happy life, and have innumerable blessings to be +thankful for; not the least, although that may seem selfish on my part, +that there are some who care for me in my age, and who will be sorry +when I am taken away. There, my dear, dry your eyes, and give me a full +description of all your gaieties in London."</p> + +<p>I told him all about what I had been doing, where I had gone, and +everything I could think of likely to amuse him, and was still in the +middle of my story when Miss Harmer came in.</p> + +<p>"I am very sorry to have to disturb you Miss Ashleigh," she said, after +shaking hands with me, "for I know how much my brother enjoys a talk +with you; but your papa's orders were so very strict, that on no account +should he be allowed to talk for long at a time, that I really must put +a stop to your conversation."</p> + +<p>I had not seen Miss Harmer for some time, for she and her sister had +been away on the Continent for two years previously, and had returned +only on receipt of the news of their brother's illness.</p> + +<p>When Miss Harmer spoke, I got up at once to leave, feeling a little +ashamed of my own thoughtlessness, for papa had particularly warned me +before I started, not to talk long; but I had quite forgotten his +injunction, in the pleasure Mr. Harmer had evidently felt in listening +to me.</p> + +<p>"You see, my dear," he said, "I must do as I am told now; but you will +come again soon to see me, will you not?"</p> + +<p>I promised to come as soon as I could, and from that time whenever mamma +could spare me, I went over for half an hour's chat with Mr. Harmer, +very often at first, but as he got better, and mamma became weaker, of +course my visits became very much less frequent.</p> + +<p>During my visits at this time, I was a good deal puzzled about Sophy. +There was something in her manner, which I could not at all understand. +She was evidently extremely attached to her grandfather, and was +unwearied in her constant attention to him; and yet at times it appeared +to me that her thoughts were far off from what was passing before her, +and that after one of these fits of abstraction she would rouse herself +with almost a start, and then glance furtively at Mr. Harmer, as if +afraid that he had noticed it. When he praised her too, which he often +did to me, for her care and kindness to him, I fancied that she almost +shrank from his praise in a sort of pained way, as if she felt that his +commendation was undeserved. I daresay at any other time I might have +thought a great deal about this; but as it was I had so much to occupy +me. What with my mother's almost daily increasing weakness; what with +the rapidly approaching visit of Ada and Percy; what with my own grief +and my own happiness, I had no thoughts to give to Sophy. Perhaps on my +walk home from Sturry, I wondered and puzzled as to her conduct; but +once past my own doors, all thought of her and her mysterious ways, were +laid aside till I started for my next visit to Harmer Place.</p> + +<p>I have not mentioned that after I had told mamma about Percy, I suppose +she must have hinted something to papa; at any rate he wrote to Percy, +saying that hearing from his daughter that he proposed accompanying his +sister Ada on a visit to Lady Dashwood's, he should be very glad if, +like her, Percy would take Canterbury on his way, and stay for a week +with us. Percy answered the letter in the affirmative. Papa's eyes +rather twinkled with amusement as he one day at breakfast told me in a +casual sort of way that he had written to Mr. Desborough, asking him to +stay with us while his sister did, and that he had heard that morning +that his invitation was accepted.</p> + +<p>I know I tried to look unconscious, but finally had to go round the +table and rumple papa's hair all over, and tell him that he was a dear +old goose.</p> + +<p>It was about two months after my return from London that I received a +letter from Ada, saying that her brother had obtained leave of absence +again, and that the season was now quite over, and London dreadfully +hot; that she longed to be out of it and in the country again, and that +if convenient she would come on that day week, and that Percy would +accompany her. I had been expecting this news for some time, still, now +that it had come—now that I knew for certain that in another week Percy +would be with me—it was very difficult to realize, and very hard, +indeed, to go about looking tranquil and unconcerned under sister +Polly's watchful eye and sly remarks. Polly was now at home for the +holidays, and during the week I many times wished her back at school +again, for she was really a serious plague to me. She had somehow +guessed, or fancied she guessed, the state of things between Percy and +me, and she was constantly making remarks about their coming visit, and +then slyly watching me to see the colour which would, on the mention of +his name, mount up into my cheeks. I had, as a girl, a dreadful habit of +blushing, which, do what I would, I could not break myself of. It was +very tiresome, and I would have given anything to have cured myself of +the trick.</p> + +<p>So now, what with Polly's mischievous hints and my ridiculous habit of +blushing, I was made quite uncomfortable for that week. At last I had to +tell her she was annoying me very much, and that if she did it when they +came down I should be seriously angry with her. When she saw I was quite +in earnest, she pretended to be very penitent, although I am sure she +was only amused; however, she gave it up as much as she could for the +time.</p> + +<p>At last the day came for them to arrive, and I went down to the train to +meet them with papa and Polly. I proposed this myself, as it was much +less embarrassing to meet in all that bustle and confusion than in the +quiet of our hall.</p> + +<p>Presently the train came up, and I saw Ada's face at the window. We were +soon at the door and helped her out. When I had kissed her I shook hands +with Percy and introduced him to papa, and they went off together to +look after the luggage, leaving us three girls talking on the platform. +Altogether it had been much less embarrassing than I had feared. Papa +ordered a man to take the boxes round to our house, and we started to +walk, retaining the same order; we girls together in front, and papa and +Percy behind. So down Westgate, across the bridge over the Stour, and +under the noble old gate, which, so many centuries back, frowned down +upon the haughty priest à Becket, as he passed under it upon that last +journey to Canterbury from which he returned alive no more. It was an +old gateway then, but still capable of a sturdy defence against the +weapons of the time; for on either side the city walls stretched away, +lofty and strong. Now, at this point they are gone, and the old gateway +stands isolated and alone; but it is still strong and well preserved, +and looks as if, unless disturbed by the hand of man, it could bid +defiance to the action of time for many a century yet to come. Under +this we walked, and then down the High Street, with its quaint, +high-gabled, overhanging houses, and up the narrow lane which led to our +house. After we had lunched, we went up into the drawing-room, to mamma, +who was very pleased to see Ada again, with her bright face and happy +laugh,—for I did not mention in its proper place that Ada had spent one +of her Christmas holidays with us. Mamma looked very earnestly at Percy, +as if she could read his character at a glance, and listened very +attentively to all he said. As we went out of the room—which we did in +about a quarter of an hour, for mamma could not bear so many in the room +for long together—she kissed me, as I lingered behind the others, and +pressed my hand lovingly, and I could see she was quite satisfied.</p> + +<p>I did not see much of Percy for the next two days, at which I was very +glad, for I could not help feeling a little awkward; and although I +endeavoured to soothe my conscience by telling myself that had I not put +him off he would have proposed to me when I was staying in London, yet I +could not help feeling that somehow I had invited him down here on +purpose for him to ask me to be his wife. For these two days he was as +much as he could be with papa, accompanying him in his drives and rides, +and I could see by papa's manner that he really liked him very much. To +me he was very nice, not at all showing me any marked attention so as to +be perceptible to any one else; and yet I could feel there was something +different in his tone of voice and manner when he addressed me to what +he used when he spoke to others. Ada and I found lots to talk about when +we were alone; for although she had written very often, and given me +very full accounts, still there was an immense deal to tell me about all +the different balls she had been to since, and what engagements had been +made during the season; I found, too, although this was a subject Ada +was very chary of speaking of, that she herself had refused one very +good offer, and that she was rather under the ban of her lady-mother's +displeasure in consequence. "She consoles herself, however," Ada said, +"with the conclusion, that there are even better matches to be made than +the one I refused, and that I must have set my mind on being a duchess; +for that any idea of love is necessary for a marriage, is a matter which +never entered her mind." Ada was a little bitter upon the subject, and I +was sorry to see she was likely to have disputes with her mother upon +the point; for there was no doubt that Lady Desborough was a very +worldly woman, and I was quite sure that Ada, although at times +thoughtless and fond of admiration, would never marry any one, however +high his rank, to whom she had not given her heart.</p> + +<p>The third morning of their visit I was up early, and went for my usual +little stroll in the garden before breakfast. I had not been there many +minutes before Percy joined me, and when we went in together we were +engaged. I do not tell how it came about, what he said, or how I +answered him. There is very little in the words thus spoken to interest +others, although so unutterably sweet to listen to. To me there is +something almost sacred in the thought of that time; far too sacred to +be told to any one; and even now, eight years after, my cheeks flush, my +eyes fill with tears, and my fingers quiver at the thought of those few +words, and of the kiss by which our engagement was sealed. Oh Percy, +Percy, could we but have seen the future then! But, perhaps, better +not—better, certainly, for I have at least the pleasure left me of +looking back upon that short space of intense happiness—a memory which +is all my own, and which nothing can take away from me. I do not know +how I made breakfast that morning—I am sure I must have made all sorts +of blunders; but Ada, who at once saw what had happened, and Polly, who +I think guessed, chattered away so incessantly, that I was not obliged +to take any part in the conversation. Ada afterwards told me that in the +first cup of tea I gave her no milk, and that she saw me put no less +than eight pieces of sugar into the second. I only hope the others were +better, but I have serious doubts on the subject. After breakfast was +over, papa went into the study, and Percy at once followed him in there. +As soon as the door closed upon them, Ada came round, and kissed me very +warmly and lovingly; and Polly, as soon as she saw by our manner that +her suspicions were correct, and that Percy and I were engaged, first +nearly suffocated me with the violence of her embraces, and then +performed a wild and triumphant <i>pas seul</i> round the breakfast-table, in +a manner directly opposed to the injunction and teaching of the Misses +Pilgrim and "Grendon House." Altogether she was quite wild, and I had +the greatest difficulty in sobering her down, especially as Ada was +rather inclined to abet her in her folly.</p> + +<p>I shall pass very briefly over the remaining ten days that Percy and Ada +stayed with us, for indeed that happy time is more than even now I can +write about calmly. Papa's and mamma's consent was warmly given, and +they were very much pleased with Percy. The only drawback to papa's +satisfaction at the match, was the fact of Percy being in the army, and +the thought of my going abroad. Percy, indeed, offered to leave the +service, but this I would not hear of. I knew how much he was attached +to his profession, and I had no objection to the thought of going +abroad; and my money, with his pay and allowance from his mother, would +enable us to live in luxury in any part of the world.</p> + +<p>Two days after our engagement took place I received a very nice letter +from Lady Desborough, saying how pleased she was to hear of Percy's +choice, and its success. She said a good many kind and complimentary +things, to which I did not, even at the time, attach much importance, +for I knew well that it was only the fact of her son choosing, greatly +against her wishes, an active military life, which made her regard with +approval his engagement with myself. However, I did not fret seriously +about that; she gave her consent, and that was all that was required, +while I had the hearty approval of my own dear parents in my choice. I +believed Percy loved me with all his heart, and I certainly did him with +all mine. So the time they stopped with us went over very happily and +quickly. Nothing was said before they went away about our marriage; +indeed, mamma was so very ill, that it was a question which could not be +discussed, as of course I could not have left her in the state she was +in, and how long she might remain as she was no one could tell.</p> + +<p>However, it was willed that her stay with us should be even more brief +than our worst fears had whispered. Percy and Ada had not left us much +more than a month, when papa said at breakfast one morning: "Agnes, I +wrote yesterday to Harry to come home; write to-day to Miss Pilgrim, +asking her to send Polly home to-morrow." It did not need for me to look +in his face; the quiver of his voice told me his meaning: they were to +come home to see mamma before she died. What a dreadful shock it was. I +had long known mamma must leave us soon, but she had so long been ill, +and she changed so gradually, that, until papa spoke that morning, I had +never realized that her time was so near at hand. Yet, when I recovered +from that terrible fit of crying, I remembered how I could count back +from week to week, and see how the change, gradual as it seemed, had yet +been strongly marked, and that the last two months had wrought terrible +havoc with her little remaining strength.</p> + +<p>At the beginning of that time she had been up nearly all day, lying on +the sofa. As time went on, she got up later and went to bed earlier; at +the end of the month, papa had taken to carrying her in, and now, for +the last ten days, her visits to the drawing-room had ceased altogether. +She was wonderfully calm and patient, and through all those long months +of illness, I never heard a murmur or word of complaint pass her lips.</p> + +<p>Polly arrived the day after I wrote, and was, poor child, in a dreadful +state of grief. Harry came the day after: to him the shock was greater +than to any of us. He had not seen her fading gradually away as we had, +and although from our letters, he knew how ill she was, he had never +until he came back completely realized it.</p> + +<p>I pass over the week which mamma lived after Harry's return, as also the +week after her death. These solemn griefs are too sacred to be +described. Do we not all know them? For are not these great scenes +common to every one? Have we not all of us lost our darlings, our loves? +Is there not an empty chair in every household; a place in every heart +where one lives who is no longer seen on earth; a secret shrine whence, +in the dead of the night, the well-known figure steps gently out, and +communes with us over happy times that are gone, and bids us hope and +wait for that happier meeting to come, after which there will be no more +parting and tears?</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI.</h2> + +<h3>LAYING A TRAIN.</h3> + + +<p>It was not for three weeks after mamma's death that I again saw Mr. +Harmer, and then he came over in his carriage to say good-bye to me, as +he would not see me again for some little time, for I was going away for +a month with papa to Ramsgate for a change.</p> + +<p>In truth we both needed it. I was pale and nervous; all the scenes and +emotions of the last three months had shaken me very much, and I think +that had I not gone to the sea-side I should have had a serious illness +of some sort. Papa, too, looked ill and worn. He had felt mamma's loss +very much; and, indeed, the long watching and the constant noting the +signs of her rapid decay, all so clear to his medical eye, must have +been a terrible trial.</p> + +<p>The house, too, was now so dreadfully lonely and dull that I became +quite affected by it, and began to feel my old childish terrors of the +dark passages, and the midnight sounds of the old house grew upon me +again: in fact, I became sadly nervous and out of sorts, and a change +was absolutely necessary.</p> + +<p>Harry had gone back to his work in the North, and Polly to Grendon +House, so papa and I had only ourselves and each other to think of.</p> + +<p>When Mr. Harmer called, I found him very much better than when I had +seen him last. His difficulty of utterance had quite passed off, and he +was able to walk again nearly as firmly and freely as he had before. He +was very kind to me, as, indeed, he always was; and sympathized with me +so gently and feelingly upon the great loss I had sustained, that he +soothed rather than opened the recent wounds. Altogether, his visit did +me good; and I was very glad to find him so much better than I had +expected, for, although papa had told me that he was getting round +wonderfully, and was likely, unless he had another seizure, to live for +many years, I had not hoped to see him as well as he was. He did not at +all mind papa's going away, for he had promised to come up twice a week +from Ramsgate to see him, and he could be telegraphed for at any moment +should anything occur to render such a step necessary.</p> + +<p>So papa and I went down to Ramsgate for a month, and a very great deal +of good it did us. The fresh air and sea-bathing soon cured my +nervousness, and the change of scene and the variety and life of the +place—so different from the quiet sleepiness of Canterbury—gradually +softened the bitterness of my grief; while nearly every day I had +letters from Percy—long, loving letters, very cheering and dear to +me—painting our future life together, and making me feel very happy; so +happy, that I sometimes blamed myself for feeling so, so soon after my +dear mother's death. It was a tranquil, quiet life, and I rapidly +recovered my health and strength again. I had no acquaintances down +there, for Ramsgate is too near to Canterbury for the people from there +to visit it. Besides, Canterbury is a great deal too genteel to +patronize so exceedingly vulgar a place as Ramsgate. I had a chatting +acquaintance with several of the boatmen, and papa was very fond of +sitting of an evening at the end of the pier, on the great stone posts +to which the steamers are fastened, and talking to the fishermen of the +wrecks they had known on those terrible Goodwins, and of the vessels +which had been lost in trying to make the entrance to the Harbour. I +also struck up a great acquaintance with the old bathing-woman—not, +certainly, from any use that she was to me, for I would never let her +take me by the hands and plunge me under water as I saw some girls do, +but I used to talk to her of an evening when her work was done, and she +was hanging up the towels to dry. She was a very worthy old body, and +not so frightfully ugly as she looked in her bathing-costume, with her +draggled clothes and weather-beaten bonnet, but was a quiet +respectable-looking old woman. She had been a bathing-woman there for +years and years; and had, I have no doubt, saved up a snug little sum of +money. She told me that she had a married daughter who lived near +London, and who had a very nice cottage down at Putney, and who let part +of it to lodgers; and she hoped that if I were ever going near London, I +would patronize her. I told her that there was not the remotest +probability of such a thing; but she suggested that I might know some +one who might one day go, and, accordingly, to please her, I took the +address down in my pocket-book, but certainly without the remotest idea +that it would ever turn out of the slightest use to me.</p> + +<p>Papa, on his return from his visits to Canterbury twice a week, always +brought back some fresh topics for conversation. He was at all times +fond of talking over his day's visits, and told me so much about his +patients that I grew quite interested in his accounts of the improvement +or otherwise of those who were seriously ill, and was pleased or sorry +as his report of their state was good or the reverse. This had always +been papa's habit, partly because he felt so much interested in his work +that his patients were constantly in his thoughts, and partly because +when we were at home he always had soups, jellies, and other +strengthening food made for those among his poorer patients as required +such treatment.</p> + +<p>One evening when papa came back, he looked vexed and thoughtful; +however, I asked no questions for I knew that if he thought right he +would tell me presently what it was. When we had finished our dinner we +strolled out on to the esplanade in front of our house. He lit his +cigar, and we leant on the rail and looked down upon the shipping in the +harbour, in the gathering twilight, and at the light on the Goodwin +which was as yet but just visible. For some time papa did not speak; at +last he took his cigar out of his mouth, and said, "I am vexed, Agnes; +or rather troubled. I will tell you why: you are a discreet little woman +now, and so I can trust you with what I have seen."</p> + +<p>He again paused, and took two or three quick puffs at his cigar, as if +in angry thought of how he should begin, and then went on.</p> + +<p>"There lives near Canterbury, Agnes, a lazy, bad, dissolute man, named +Robert Gregory. I do not suppose you have noticed him, although you may +have possibly met him casually. He is, as I have said, a bad man, and +bears a character of the worst description. Some eight or ten years +since, when he was a very young man, he went up to London, and by his +extravagance and bad habits there, he ruined the old man, his father, +and brought him prenaturely to the grave.</p> + +<p>"This man, Agnes, is good-looking, and yet with a bad face. It is rather +coarse perhaps, more so than it was ten years since when I first saw +him, for that sort of face, when it once begins to go off, loses its +beauty rapidly; still, I allow, much as I object to the man, that he is +handsome. It is just the sort of face likely to attract a young girl who +is new to the world. A face apparently frank and good-natured, and yet +with something—imperious and even defiant about it; very taking to the +young, who cannot help feeling flattered by seeing that the man, who +looks as if he neither cared for nor feared any other living thing, +should yet bow to them; that the fierce eye should soften, and the loud +voice become gentle when he addresses them. Altogether a dangerous man +for a young girl to know, a very dangerous one for her to love. To a man +like myself, accustomed from habit and profession to study character, he +is peculiarly repulsive. His face to me is all bad. The man is not only +a blackguard, and a handsome blackguard, but he is a clever and +determined one; his face is marked with lines of profligacy and +drunkenness, and there is a passionate, dangerous flash about his eye. +He has, too, seen the world, although only a bad side of it; but he can, +when he chooses, lay aside his roughness and rampant blackguardism, and +assume a tolerably gentlemanly, quiet demeanour, which would very well +pass muster with an inexperienced girl. In short, my dear, if I were +asked to select the man of all others, of those with whom I am +acquainted, whom I would least rather meet in any society where my +daughter, or any young girl might see him, I should unhesitatingly +say—Robert Gregory. Fortunately for society here, the man, by his +well-known drunken and bad character, has placed himself beyond its +pale, and so he can do it no great harm. It was only the last time that +I was in Canterbury that I heard, and I acknowledge that I heard with +great pleasure, that Robert Gregory was so deeply in debt that writs +were out against him; and that unless he went away he would in a short +time be consigned to a debtor's prison, so that Canterbury, at any rate +for some time, might hope to be free of him. Well, my dear, I daresay +you are wondering what all this long story about a person of whom you +know nothing can be going to end in, but you will see that it is all +very much to the point. To-day I was rather earlier than usual in my +visit to Mr. Harmer. I was driving fast, and as I turned the corner of +the road where the plantation in Mr. Harmer's ground begins, I saw a man +getting over the hedge into the road. Probably the noise he was making +breaking through the twigs, together with the turn of the road, +prevented his seeing or hearing the gig until he was fairly over; for as +he jumped into the road and looked round I was not twenty yards off, and +could hear him swear a deep oath, as he pulled his hat down over his +eyes, and turned his back to me as I drove past to prevent my seeing his +face; but it was too late, for I had recognized Robert Gregory. Of +course I said nothing; but as I drove up to the house, looking over the +grounds, I saw Sophy Needham coming up through the trees from the very +direction from which I had seen him come out. She was at some distance +off, and I was almost at the door, so I could not have stopped to speak +to her without being noticed, even had I wished it. She did not come +into the room while I was there, so that I had no opportunity of +questioning her about it, even had I made up my mind to do so; indeed it +was so delicate a matter that I could not have spoken to her without +previous reflection.</p> + +<p>"Altogether the affair has a very curious and ugly look. It could hardly +be a mere coincidence, that he should be getting over the hedge from the +plantation—where he could have no possible reason for going except to +see her—at the very time of her coming away from that part of the +grounds. It looks very like a secret meeting, but how such a thing could +have been brought about is more than I can imagine. But if it is so, it +is a dreadful business."</p> + +<p>We were both silent for some time, and then I said,—</p> + +<p>"Do you know, papa, I remember meeting the man you speak of at the fête +at Mr. Harmer's last year."</p> + +<p>"Now you mention it, Agnes, I recollect that he was there. I wondered at +the time at his being invited, but I supposed Mr. Harmer had known his +father as a respectable man, and had asked the son, knowing nothing of +his character, or the disrepute in which he was held. I did not notice +him much, nor did I see him dance with Sophy; had I done so I should +have warned Mr. Harmer of his real character."</p> + +<p>"He did not dance with her, papa," I said, rather timidly, for I was +frightened at the thought of what dreadful mischief had resulted, which +might have been averted had I spoken of the matter at the time. "He did +not dance with her, but he had some sort of secret understanding with +her; at least I thought so;" and I then told him all I had observed that +evening at the fête. "I should have mentioned it at the time, papa, for +it perplexed me a good deal, but I went back to school next day, and +never thought of it from that day to this."</p> + +<p>"Do you know, Agnes," papa said, throwing away his cigar, and taking +three or four turns up and down in extreme perplexity, "this is very +serious; I am quite frightened to think of it. What on earth is to be +done?" and papa took off his hat and rubbed his hair back from his +forehead. "How very unfortunate that you did not speak of what you +noticed at the time. I am not blaming you; going off to school, as you +say, of course put it out of your head; besides, you did not know the +man as I do, and could not guess what terrible results might be growing +out of what you saw; you could not, as a mere girl, tell how bad it is +for a young woman to have a secret understanding of that sort with any +man—how fatal, when with such a man as Robert Gregory.</p> + +<p>"Had I known it at that time, I might have done something to put a stop +to it. It would, in any case, have been a delicate matter to have +interfered in, merely on the grounds of what you noticed, and which +Sophy would, of course, have disputed; still I might have warned Mr. +Harmer against allowing such a man to enter his doors, and I would have +spoken when Sophy was present, and said how bad his character was, so as +to have opened her eyes to the real nature of the man. It might have +done no good. A girl is very slow to believe anything against a man she +loves. Still it would have been something; and had there been any +opportunity, I could have related some stories about him, which I knew +to be true, which must have convinced her that he was a thorough +blackguard.</p> + +<p>"It might have been quite ineffectual; still it might possibly have done +good. But now—really, Agnes," he said, stopping short, "I don't know +what to do: it is a dreadful affair. There, don't distress yourself, my +child"—for I was crying now—"matters may not be as bad as we fancy, +although I confess that I do not see any possible interpretation which +can put the affair in a better light. The only question is, what is to +be done?</p> + +<p>"To begin with, we are, you see, placed in a peculiarly delicate +position in respect to Sophy. In case of any scandal being discovered +through our means, and Mr. Harmer altering his will in consequence, you +might benefit from it, and it would place my conduct and motive for +interfering in a very false and unpleasant light. In the next place, in +Mr. Harmer's present state of health, the agitation such a disclosure +would produce, would not improbably—indeed, would be very likely +to—bring on another paralytic fit, and cost him his life. The only +thing I can at present think of is to appeal to Sophy herself.</p> + +<p>"I fear that would hardly be successful, as the secret understanding +between them must have gone on for more than a year, to our knowledge, +and we dare not even think in what relation they may now stand to each +other. Still it must be tried. Should that fail, as I feel it is quite +certain to do, an appeal must be made to him. He may be bought off. Of +course, with him it is a mere question of time. If he waits till Mr. +Harmer's death, which may not occur for years yet, Sophy is sure to be a +wealthy heiress; if he marries her before that, Mr. Harmer will +infallibly alter his will. He would, no doubt, still leave her +something, for he loves her too much to leave her a beggar even in a +moment of anger.</p> + +<p>"So you see it is quite a matter of calculation. Robert Gregory has +waited until now, but he must be getting desperate. This writ, of which +I spoke, may induce him to come to some sudden decision—no one can say +what. It is altogether a very bad business, and a difficult matter for +any one, far more for myself, to meddle in. However, something must be +done: that much is certain. To-day is Wednesday. I had not intended to +go into Canterbury again till Saturday, but now I shall go on Friday. So +we shall have to-morrow to talk over what is the best thing to be done, +and how I am to set about it. It is getting late, Agnes: it is time to +be going in."</p> + +<p>I shall never forget that evening, as we turned and strolled along the +edge of the cliffs towards home. I thought I had never seen such a +beautiful night. The tide was high, and the sea was very calm, and +hardly moved under the warm autumnal breeze, but broke on the beach far +below our feet with a gentle plash. Out at sea the lights on the Goodwin +shone clear and bright; while far away to the right, looking like a star +near the horizon, we could plainly see the Deal light. Below us lay the +harbour, with its dark shipping, and its bright lamps reflected in the +still waters within it. Sometimes, from the sea, came up faint snatches +of songs from parties in boats enjoying the lovely evening.</p> + +<p>Above it was most beautiful of all. The sky was a very deep blue, and I +do not think I ever saw so many stars as were visible that lovely +September night. The heavens seemed spangled with them, and they shone +out clear and bright, with none of the restless, unquiet twinkle they +usually have, but still and tranquil, seeming—as they never do seem +except on such nights as this—to hang suspended from the deep blue +above them. The moon was up, but it was only a thin crescent, and was +lovely in itself without outshining the glory of the stars. It was a +glorious night, and, absorbed as we were with our own thoughts, and +troubled by what had occurred, we could not help feeling soothed and +elevated by the wondrous beauty of the scene we looked upon.</p> + +<p>Had papa known all that had passed at that interview between Sophy +Needham and Robert Gregory, he would not have ridden out to Ramsgate +with his news, but would have acted upon it there and then, and perhaps +I should never have written this story; or, if I had done so, it would +have been very different to what it is.</p> + +<p>Long afterwards I learnt the history of that interview, and of many +others which had gone before it; and so I shall again have the pleasure +of dropping that first personal pronoun of which I am so tired, and of +relating the story as it was told to me.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII.</h2> + +<h3>THE EXPLOSION.</h3> + + +<p>There are some boys so naturally passionate and vicious, in whose +dispositions the evil so strongly predominates over the good, that we +are obliged to own that under no conceivable course of training could +they have turned out otherwise than bad. Some faults might have been +checked by early firmness, some vices eradicated by judicious kindness +and care, yet nothing could ever have altered the radical nature; +nothing could ever have made a fair, straight tree out of that crooked +and distorted sapling. Such a character was that of Robert Gregory, and +in his case there was no countervailing force, either of judicious +kindness or of proper severity, to check the strong tendency to evil in +his disposition. His mother had died when he was an infant, and his +father—who had married late in life, and who had no other +children,—indulged his every whim, and neither thwarted him in any +desire, nor punished him for any fault; and so he grew up an idle, +passionate, turbulent boy, pursuing his own way, and laughing to scorn +the entreaties and prayers of his weak father. As time went on, his +character developed; he chose his companions from the wildest and least +reputable youths of the neighbourhood, and soon became even wilder and +less reputable than the worst of them. He at length led such a life, +that his father was only too glad when he expressed a desire to go up to +London, in hopes that there, with other companions and habits, he might +yet retrieve himself. Robert Gregory was not all bad, he had his good +points, and with other training might have turned out, if not a good +man, at any rate not the character that Dr. Ashleigh had described. He +was good-natured and even generous—by fits and starts certainly—but +still enough so to make those who knew him as a boy, before he had got +entirely beyond all control, regret that his father, by his weakness and +injudicious kindness, was allowing him to grow up a curse to himself and +a nuisance to the whole neighbourhood. Any hopes his father may have +entertained of his reformation from the influence of a life in London, +were destined to be very shortly extinguished. He wrote at first flaming +accounts of the grand friends he was making, but lamenting their +expensive way of living, and begging more money to enable him to do as +they did. For months, for years, the letters came regularly, and always +demanding money, sometimes very large sums. Some of these letters were +accompanied by plausible tales that he wished to oblige his great +friends, through whom he shortly expected to obtain a lucrative +appointment. At other times he told the truth—various losses on the +turf, or heavy gambling debts which must, he said, be paid, or his +honour would be irretrievably lost. The old man patiently answered these +constant demands upon him, and paid without a complaint the large sums +required. He truly, although weakly, loved this reprobate son of his: he +knew that no remonstrances could now avail: he feared so to alienate the +liking which his son still felt for him by remonstrances which would +irritate, without reforming him, and so he continued to pay, and pay. +"The boy can have it but once," he said to himself; "as well now as at +my death; there will be enough to last my time." But there hardly was. +After Robert had been six years in London, during which he had only paid +three or four flying visits to his native place, he received a letter +from his father, asking him to let him know the total amount of his +debts; as he would rather settle the whole at once and set him clear, +than be continually asked for money. Robert consequently sent him a +list, which even he had grace enough left to be ashamed of. However, the +enormous amount was paid without a word; but a week afterwards a letter +came from his father, saying that in six years he had spent no less than +£40,000, and that now there only remained the house in which the old man +lived and a small farm which yielded a bare £200 a year; that this he +would not touch, and that not one single penny would he farther advance +his son; but that if he chose to come down and live with him, that he +would meet with a hearty welcome, and with not one word of reproach for +the past. Seeing no other course open to him, Robert Gregory came back +sulkily enough to the old house, where, as has before been said, the old +man did not live many months.</p> + +<p>Long as was the list of debts which Robert had sent up from London, it +had by no means comprised the whole of them. At his father's death, +therefore, he was obliged to mortgage the farm to nearly its full value, +to satisfy the most pressing of his creditors, and then, for the first +time in his life, Robert Gregory asked himself how he was to live. It +was by no means an easy question to answer; indeed, think the matter +over as he would, he could imagine no mode by which, even had he been +inclined to work, which he was not, he could have earned his living. It +was while he was vainly, week after week, endeavouring to solve this +problem, that the intention of Mr. Harmer to make Sophy Needham his +heiress was made public. Robert Gregory hailed the news as a direct +answer to his question—he would marry the heiress. He did not jump at +the conclusion in haste; he inquired closely concerning the habits of +the family at Harmer Place, of whom previously he had known nothing +except by name; he found that their life had been hitherto one of +seclusion, owing to the ascetic life of the Miss Harmers, and the +studious one of their brother; he heard of Sophy Needham's birth and +origin, and he heard, too, that society refused to visit her, and at +last he said to himself confidently and firmly, "I will marry her." +Having arrived at this determination, Robert Gregory at once proceeded +to act upon it, and soon had his whole scheme arranged to his +satisfaction. He felt that the matter was one which required time, and +he accordingly sold the farm for two or three hundred pounds beyond the +amount for which it was mortgaged, and on this sum he calculated to be +able to live until he was able to marry Sophy.</p> + +<p>This done, putting on a shooting suit, he day after day concealed +himself in the grounds at some distance from the house, at a spot from +which he could see when Sophy strolled out, and could watch the +direction she took. One day he perceived that the course she was +following in her ramble would lead her close to the boundary of the +property; making a circuit, he took his position on the other side of +the hedge, and therefore off the Harmer estate. When Sophy came along, +and he could see that she was immediately opposite him, separated only +by the hedge, he discharged both barrels of his gun. Sophy naturally +uttered an exclamation of surprise and alarm, and this was all he +needed.</p> + +<p>As if astonished at finding a lady so close to him, he crossed the +hedge, and lifting his hat, he apologized deeply for the alarm he had +given her, trusted that the shock had not been serious, and in fact made +so good a use of his time, that he managed to detain her in conversation +for a quarter of an hour.</p> + +<p>Robert Gregory, it has already been said, was a handsome man with a good +figure. His conversation and manners might not have passed muster in +critical society, still he had seen enough of the world to be able to +assume the air of a gentleman sufficiently well to deceive a girl who +had hardly ever conversed with a young man before in her life; his +address to her was straightforward and outspoken, and yet with something +deferential about it to which Sophy was quite unaccustomed, and which +gratified her exceedingly.</p> + +<p>The attempt of Robert Gregory was well-timed. Sophy knew that Mr. Harmer +had proclaimed her his heiress, and she felt, and felt keenly, that +society refused to call upon her or recognise her; she was naturally a +sensitive, shy girl, and the accident of her birth had been a constant +pain and sorrow to her, and she was, therefore, in exactly the frame of +mind to receive with greedy pleasure the expression of Robert Gregory's +deference and distantly expressed admiration. She noted no bad +expression in the handsome face which smiled upon her, she detected no +flaw in the fine figure which bent a little as he spoke to her; she only +saw one who treated her—her whom the world scorned and repelled—with +respectful deference and admiration; and from that moment her heart went +out freely and fully towards him.</p> + +<p>As he was leaving her, Robert Gregory mentioned that he lived on the +other side of Canterbury, but was out for a day's shooting on the +neighbouring estate. He said that on that day week he should again be +there, and asked her if she frequently walked in that direction; he +urged that he should feel really anxious to know if she had suffered +from the effect of the sudden alarm he had given her, and that he hoped +she would be kind enough to let him know how she was.</p> + +<p>Sophy coloured and paused, and then said that she frequently walked in +that direction, and that if he happened to see her as she went past, she +should of course be happy to assure him that she was not in the least +upset by the little start that she had had. And so they parted, and +Robert Gregory felt, that as far as she was concerned, the game was won.</p> + +<p>Again and again they met, and before very long he spoke of love to her; +and Sophy, whose life had been hitherto a joyless one, gave him her +heart without concealment, and found that, for the first time, she had +discovered happiness. But that happiness soon had its alloy of trouble. +When Christmas came, and the Bishop and his wife called, and society in +general followed their example, Sophy naturally wondered, and asked +Robert why he did not do the same. He was prepared for the question, +which he knew must come sooner or later, and his answer had long been +determined upon. He at once said that he threw himself entirely on her +mercy, and even if it were the signal for his dismissal from her side +for ever, he would tell her the truth. He told her that, owing to want +of control as a boy, he had been when a very young man, spendthrift and +wild, and that he had dissipated his fortune in folly and amusements. +That the Christian propriety of Canterbury had taken upon itself to be +greatly scandalized thereby; and that although he had long since given +up his former courses, and had returned and lived happily and quietly +with his old father, although that father himself had never complained +to him, or, he believed, to any one, of his previous folly, yet that +society in general had taken upon itself to refuse its assent to the +welcome of the prodigal, but had indeed desired him to go into a far +country and be fed upon husks.</p> + +<p>Sophy, instead of being shocked at all this, clung to him, as might have +been expected, all the closer. The well-affected scorn and bitterness +with which he spoke of the Christian charity of society, struck, as he +had intended it should, a sympathetic chord in her own breast; for had +not she, too, been declared under the ban of society, and for no fault +or sin of her own? It is true, society had now condescended to visit +her, but why? Was she any better or more honourably born than before? +Had her conduct in any way softened them towards her? Not a bit. A +bishop had said that she might be visited, and so the world had +graciously extended its hand and received her into its fold. But +although Sophy accepted the offered hand, she hated the giver of it; and +although she arrayed her face with a placid smile as she entered into +society, it only covered a sense of bitter outrage and of indignant +contempt. Nursing, as she did, feelings like these, it was with an +absolute sense of pleasure that she found that her lover, like herself, +was deemed an outcast. To her it was but one more new tie between them; +and when Robert had finished his confession, her own rage and wrongs +against society broke out in a stream of bitter, passionate words, and +Robert Gregory found there was far more in the ordinarily tranquil, +quiet woman before him than he had ever given her credit for. However, +her present frame of mind was most favourable for his plans, and he +therefore took good care to keep alive her resentment against the world, +in order to bind her more closely to himself. It was soon after this +that the fêtes at Harmer Place were given. Robert Gregory managed to +obtain an invitation, but arranged with Sophy that he would not dance +with her, alleging the truth, that if he did so, society would be sure +to poison Mr. Harmer's mind against him, and render his consent to their +marriage out of the question; and Sophy was content to follow his +guidance in all things, and to see everything with his eyes.</p> + +<p>The real difficulties of Robert Gregory's course were only yet +beginning. Sophy was, indeed, won; but it was Sophy's money, and not +herself, that he cared for; now Sophy's money at present depended upon +Mr. Harmer, and not upon herself; and Robert feared that in the event of +a runaway match, Mr. Harmer would very materially alter his will. Still, +on the other hand, her grandfather was extremely fond of her; he had no +one else to leave his money to, and he might in time reinstate her in +his favour. At last he asked Sophy if she thought Mr. Harmer would, +after a time, forgive her if she made a runaway match with him, for he +had no hope of ever obtaining his consent beforehand. Sophy was very +loath to answer the question. She was quite ready to marry Robert, but +she shrank from the thought of paining the old man who had been so kind +to her. However, as Robert again and again returned to the point, she at +last came to discuss it as calmly as he did.</p> + +<p>"Yes, she thought Mr. Harmer would be reconciled to her; she believed he +would miss her so much, that he would be sure to forgive her in a short +time; it was not in his nature to bear malice to any one. Yes, he would +soon come round; indeed, she was certain that if Robert would but make +himself known to him, that Mr. Harmer would not care for what other +people said, but would judge for himself, and would esteem and like him +as she did."</p> + +<p>This course Sophy pressed very much upon her lover, with many loving +entreaties and tears, for she really loved Mr. Harmer truly, and shrank +from grieving him. These entreaties, however, Robert always gently, but +decidedly put aside. He said that Mr. Harmer would be certain to believe +the edict of society against him, would decline to grant him any +opportunity of justifying himself, and would refuse to allow him to +enter the house. Besides he would be just as angry at discovering the +secret understanding which existed between them, as he would be at their +marriage, and he would be certain to forbid all intercourse between +them, and perhaps even insert a condition in his will forbidding her to +marry him under pain of the forfeiture of his fortune. For Robert made +no secret from Sophy that her money would be of the greatest use to +them; not, as he put it, that he cared for money for its own sake, but +that if they were rich they could spend their life abroad, where no +scoff or sneer of society could reach them, and where they should never +be disturbed by the sarcasms and whispers of the world; while they, in +their turn, would be able to show society how heartily they despised it, +and how well they could do without it.</p> + +<p>Sophy, in her present state of mind, thought all this very grand and +heroic, and really believed that her lover spoke in a noble and +disinterested manner; and as she was herself perfectly conscious of the +advantages of wealth, she quite agreed that, if possible, her fortune +should not be sacrificed.</p> + +<p>Robert, then, at last, succeeded in persuading her that a runaway match +was the only alternative, and as she really believed that she would be +very soon forgiven by Mr. Harmer, it was at length arranged to take +place shortly. This was in the spring of the year, and their secret +acquaintance had then continued eighteen months. The date was fixed for +the elopement, when the paralytic stroke which Mr. Harmer had put a stop +to all their plans; and this for two reasons: pressed as he again was +for money—for his creditors, who had been only partially paid before, +were now becoming clamorous—Robert Gregory felt that with Mr. Harmer at +the point of death it would be perfect madness to run the risk of Sophy +being disinherited, when a few weeks might leave her the undisputed +owner of £75,000; so although sorely harassed for money, he was content +to wait. The other reason was that Sophy was full of remorse at the +thought that she had been at the point of deserting her benefactor. She +met Robert now very seldom, but devoted herself to Mr. Harmer. As, +however, the weeks ran on, he slowly but surely recovered health and +became his former self, and her constant attendance on him was no longer +needed; so she fell back to her old habits; her meetings in the +plantation became more frequent, and his influence resumed its power +over her. Robert Gregory had discernment enough to suit his behaviour to +his words: when the old man was at his worst, he was full of tender +commiseration for her; when he began to recover, he pretended a warm +interest in his health, although inwardly he was filled with rage and +chagrin at his convalescence. At length his own affairs arrived at such +a crisis that he was in momentary fear of arrest, and he felt that once +in prison his union with Sophy must be postponed at any rate till after +Mr. Harmer's death, which now again appeared to be a distant event. He, +therefore, once more began to persuade Sophy to elope with him; but he +had a far more difficult task than before. All his old arguments were +brought forward; but it was some time before he could succeed. +Gradually, however, her old habit of listening to his opinion prevailed; +she allowed herself to be persuaded that her grandfather might now live +for many years, and that he could for a short time dispense with her +services; that as she had been so useful to him during his illness, and +as he must be more attached to her than ever, it was quite certain that +he could not for long remain proof to her entreaties for forgiveness.</p> + +<p>And so at last, but not without many tears and much bitter +self-reproach, Sophy consented to an elopement—consented at that very +interview coming from which Dr. Ashleigh surprised Robert Gregory—who, +elated by his success, was making his way off without observing his +usual care and precaution.</p> + +<p>At breakfast on the following morning, Mr. Harmer remarked that Sophy +looked pale and ill; she answered that her head ached sadly, but that +she had no doubt a stroll in the grounds would do it good. After +breakfast she accordingly went out, and, after wandering for some time +carelessly in sight of the house, she made her usual circuit to avoid +observation, and then entered the plantation near the road. She found +Robert Gregory waiting for her under the tree where they had now met for +just two years, sometimes once a week, sometimes once a month, according +to the time of year, and the opportunities Sophy had for rambling about. +Robert looked anxiously at her as she came up, to see if there were any +signs of flinching or drawing back in her pale face, but there were +none. Sophy was quiet and shy, but she had a fund of quiet determination +and courage within her. He kissed her tenderly. "You are looking pale +this morning, little one."</p> + +<p>"I daresay," she answered, "for I have not closed my eyes all night. Is +everything ready?"</p> + +<p>"Quite. I shall be with the gig in the road just outside that gap, a +minute or two before a quarter past eight; if you will get here a few +minutes after that time, we shall be able to catch the nine o'clock +train to London easily. I shall take you to an Hotel near Euston Square, +and we will go on by the early train to Scotland, and shall be half way +there before they find out in the morning that you are gone. You can +trust me, dearest?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, Robert," Sophy said quietly. "I have trusted you all these +meetings here, and I have found you an honourable gentleman, and I am +not going to distrust you now. I feel sure that all will turn out as we +wish, and that grandpapa will forgive me very soon, and take us both +into favour; and I hope that in a fortnight we shall be back here again, +forgiven and welcome." Sophy spoke cheerfully, for she really believed +what she said.</p> + +<p>"Are you sure to be able to slip out unobserved?"</p> + +<p>"Quite sure, Robert. I shall go up to bed at eight, and ask not to be +disturbed, as I wish to sleep. I shall bring a bag with me, and shall +put on a thick veil, so as not to be recognized by any one as we go +through Canterbury. I have, as I told you, plenty of money. Good-bye +now, Robert, I must not wait here any longer."</p> + +<p>"Good bye, dear, till this evening."</p> + +<p>He looked after her as she went lightly away among the trees, her +footsteps scarcely sounding in the limp, new-fallen autumn leaves, and a +shade of compunction came over his face. He was certainly a blackguard, +he knew it well, but, by heavens, he would try to make this little girl +happy. They would be rich some day, and then they would travel for +years, and when he came back his evil name would have died out, and he +could then lead a quiet, happy life, perhaps at the old house there; and +then—and then, who knows; perhaps little children would grow up round +him: surely then he must be happy. Could it be—good God! could it be +possible that he might yet turn out a good man after all? "Yes, there +was hope for him yet." And as Robert Gregory turned away, there was a +tear in his eye, which was even now growing heavy and red from long +excesses and hard drinking, and a sigh, and a half prayer from the +heart, from which for long years such things had ceased to rise.</p> + +<p>The next morning at ten o'clock, as Sophy had not come down to +breakfast, Mr. Harmer, as he went into the library, desired the servant +to take his compliments to Miss Needham, and inquire how she felt. +Presently the servant came into the library looking very pale and +scared. "If you please, sir, Miss Sophy is not in her room, but there +was this letter for you laying on the table." So saying, the girl +hastily left the room, to relate to the other servants the extraordinary +fact that Miss Sophy was not in her room, and that her bed had not been +slept in.</p> + +<p>The letter to Mr. Harmer was as follows:—</p> + +<blockquote><p>"My dearest Grandpapa,</p> + +<p>"If you were other than you are, this letter would not be +written; I should not dare to plead my cause with you; but I +know you so well—I know how kind and good you are—and so I +venture to hope for your forgiveness. I am very wicked, +grandpapa; I am going away without your consent to be married. +He—my husband that is to be—is named Robert Gregory. He has +told me frankly that men do not speak well of him, and that +when he was young he was wild and bad. He tells me so, and I +must believe him; but he must have been very different to what +he is now—for now I know him to be good and noble. I have +known him long—I own it with shame that I have never told you +before, and many tears the concealment has cost me; but, oh, +grandpapa, had I told you, you would have sent him away, and I +should have lost him. He and you are all I have in the world; +let me keep you both. He showed me kindness when all the world, +except you—my kindest and best of friends—turned their backs +upon me, and I could not give him up. While I write now, my +eyes are full of tears, and my heart bleeds to think of the +pain this will give you, after all your goodness to me. Oh, +forgive me. Do for my sake, dear, dear grandpapa, see him and +judge for yourself. I only ask this, and then I know you will +forgive him and me. Write soon to me—only one word—say you +forgive me, and let me be your little Sophy once more. I shall +not love you the less for loving him, and much as I love him, +without your forgiveness my life will indeed be miserable.</p> + +<p>"Write soon, grandpapa—write soon, and say you forgive me, and +that I shall again be your own—</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Sophy.</span>"</p></blockquote> + +<p>Presently the Misses Harmer—who always breakfasted much earlier +together, and then retired to a dressing-room they had fitted up as a +small oratory—were surprised at loud talking, and confusion in the +house. In a short time their own maid knocked at the door, and then came +in with a face full of excitement, to say that Miss Sophy had not slept +in her bed, and that they had searched the whole house, and found no +signs of her.</p> + +<p>"Does my brother know?" Miss Harmer asked, after hearing the whole story +very quietly to the end.</p> + +<p>"I can't say, ma'am; there was a letter on Miss Sophy's table, which +Mary took into Mr. Harmer, in the library, when she first found it, and +he has not come out since."</p> + +<p>The Misses Harmer, with their usual deliberate walk, went down stairs, +and then into the library.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer was sitting at the table, with his back to the door, and did +not turn round at their approach. They went up. Beside him on the table +lay an open letter—the one from Sophy;—in his hand was a pen, and +before him a sheet of paper. On it he had written: "My dearest Sophy, +come back; I forgive"—but the handwriting was strangely indistinct, and +the last word, the word "forgive," was large and sprawling, like a +schoolboy's writing, and then the pen stopped, and had stopped for +ever;—Herbert Harmer was dead.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a>CHAPTER XIII.</h2> + +<h3>A BAD BUSINESS.</h3> + + +<p>"Mr. Harmer is dead! Sophy Needham is missing!"</p> + +<p>Such was the news a groom, riding into Canterbury for a doctor, brought; +such was the telegram which a friend at once sent down to us at +Ramsgate.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer dead! Sophy Needham missing! It flashed like wildfire through +Canterbury, and the quiet old town was again shaken out of its lethargy +by the intelligence. Mr. Harmer, during his lifetime, had been a +standing topic of conversation; he had on several occasions quite roused +it from the even tenor of its way, but this last sensation was greater +and more astounding than any of its predecessors, and Canterbury enjoyed +it with proportionate gusto.</p> + +<p>"Sophy Needham eloped with that notorious reprobate, Robert +Gregory"—for the Misses Harmer, by their invectives on reading the +letter, at once had told those round them with whom Sophy had fled— +"and poor Mr. Harmer gone off in a fit in consequence!!" It was indeed a +terrible affair, and it was not mended in the telling. By the time the +tale had made its round, it had swollen to extraordinary +proportions—fresh additions were made by each mouth through which it +passed, until at last it was extremely difficult to find out what the +truth of the matter was.</p> + +<p>From the simple report that Sophy Needham had eloped with Robert +Gregory, and that it had killed poor Mr. Harmer, the transition was easy +to—"and <i>he</i> had killed poor Mr. Harmer;" and details of the supposed +murder grew till it became a tragedy of the most coldblooded +description.</p> + +<p>The groom's statement that the Misses Harmer were in a dreadful state +about it, soon lost the last two words, and grew into,—"The Misses +Harmer were also attacked, and were lying in a dreadful state."</p> + +<p>Altogether, although Robert Gregory and Sophy were undoubtedly much to +blame, and had acted very wrongly, I believe they would hardly have +recognised themselves or their doings, in the two fiends in human shape, +whose deeds were commented upon in Canterbury that afternoon.</p> + +<p>The next day the real truth of the story became known, and there was +some feeling of disappointment that things were not as bad as had been +reported; but even then the opinion in respect to Sophy and her lover +were hardly modified;—give a dog a bad name and you may as well hang +him.</p> + +<p>This couple had been accused of murder and violence, and, although the +charge was now disproved, yet it was universally agreed that these +crimes might, and in all probability would have been perpetrated, had +the fugitives been detected at the time of their flight. Sophy's conduct +was so atrocious, her ingratitude to Mr. Harmer so base, that there was +no question that a nature so depraved would hesitate at nothing. The +ladies of the Canterbury society were the more inclined to insist upon +this, as it justified the views they had originally entertained of the +impropriety of calling upon the young person at Harmer Place, and the +doubts, they now affirmed they had always experienced of the possibility +of such a person ever turning out otherwise than badly. They felt, +therefore, that they had attained a great triumph over their husbands, +who had been, on the whole, inclined to differ from their opinions. They +had always, they said, predicted something of the kind from the time +when they had heard of Mr. Harmer's intention towards her, and it really +appeared to them to be almost a judgment upon him, for his infatuation, +and for his venturing to fly in the face of the public feelings of +morality and propriety in the way he had done.</p> + +<p>Some of the husbands, indeed, even now ventured to offer excuses for +Sophy, and to point out that a good deal might be urged in her +behalf—her lonely position, her ignorance of the world, and of the +character of the man she had gone off with; and, still more, the +temptation to which she would be exposed by such an unprincipled +blackguard as Robert Gregory. But these suggestions were contemptuously +put aside. The bad character of the man, in place of being a palliation, +was an aggravation of the offence, and this was satisfactorily proved by +that <i>argumentum ad hominem</i> in which women so delight.</p> + +<p>"You know very well, my dear, that if your own daughter had gone off +with such a man, you would have considered it a very much worse +business, and have been far more angry about it, than if she had run +away with some gentleman of position and character; so how can you now +talk such nonsense as to say that the man's bad character is a +palliation of her fault?"</p> + +<p>I have often wondered why it is that we women are so much more severe +upon offenders of our own sex than men are. Is it that men know so much +more of life and human nature than we do? Is it that they know how +comparatively few women ever are seriously thus tempted during their +lives, and how hard it is to withstand great trials of this kind? Is it +because they know, too, that very few of us who are so loud and so +bitter in our contempt for those who fall, but would, if placed under +the same circumstances, and exposed to the same temptation, have acted +precisely in the same way? I think it must be that; and when I hear +women so loud and bitter in their denunciations, and when I see men look +grieved and sorry, but say nothing, I cannot help thinking sometimes, +that it would be better if we judged not so harshly and scornfully of +those who have fallen under a temptation to which we, through God's +mercy, have never been exposed.</p> + +<p>Of course, next to the startling events which had taken place, the great +question upon which the interest of Canterbury was fixed, was whether +Mr. Harmer had destroyed his will or not before he died. But this was a +point upon which no one could enlighten them, and all awaited with +intense interest the day of the funeral, after which it would, of +course, be known all about it.</p> + +<p>To us at Ramsgate the news came with a terrible shock. Papa, who had +settled to have gone over on that day, had, from some reason or other, +postponed it to the next; consequently, he was with me when the boy +arrived from the station with the telegram at about twelve o'clock.</p> + +<p>It happened to be a wet day, so that, contrary to our usual habit, we +were indoors when the boy came up with the note. Papa signed the +receipt, and the lad left before he opened it. When he did so, he +glanced at the contents, and dropped it on the table with almost a +groan.</p> + +<p>"What is it, papa?" I asked, dreadfully alarmed; "may I read it?" Papa +motioned assent, and my heart almost stood still as I read the terrible +tidings—</p> + +<p>"Mr. Harmer is dead; Sophy Needham is missing."</p> + +<p>It was a dreadful shock; and yet we had talked and thought so much the +last two days of Sophy and Robert Gregory, and of the consequences the +discovery of their connection might have upon Mr. Harmer, that it could +be hardly said to come upon us as a surprise. For some time we were too +shocked to speak at all. At last I said—</p> + +<p>"Poor Mr. Harmer! how dreadful!"</p> + +<p>"Rather poor Sophy," papa said. "Unfortunate, misguided girl, how +bitterly she will repent this! What a life-long remorse hers will be! +She has sacrificed the happiness of her own life by joining it to that +of Robert Gregory, and she has caused her benefactor's death; and +whatever be the folly, whatever the terrible fault of Sophy's conduct +now, undoubtedly she loved him dearly."</p> + +<p>While papa was speaking, another telegram arrived, and this time from +Miss Harmer, for the former one was sent by a friend who had heard the +news, and knowing our interest in it, had at once forwarded it to us, +while the groom who brought it in, was searching for a doctor to go over +at once. Miss Harmer's message was only—</p> + +<p>"Please come at once. My brother is dead."</p> + +<p>On the receipt of this, we consulted a timetable, found a train would +start in half an hour, and in a few minutes papa started, leaving me to +cry over the news I had heard—to cry as much for Sophy as for Mr. +Harmer—(for, from what papa said, she was indeed to be pitied), and to +look forward anxiously to his return with full particulars of the +terrible event.</p> + +<p>I shall tell the story of his visit to Harmer Place, and its results, as +he told it to me; and I may here mention that in future, in this +narrative of mine, I shall always drop the first person when I am +telling of events at which I was not myself present, and shall relate +them in the order in which they happened, and not when they were told to +me, which was not, in some cases, till years after.</p> + +<p>When Dr. Ashleigh arrived at Harmer Place, he was shown at once into the +drawing-room, where in a few minutes he was joined by the Misses Harmer.</p> + +<p>As nothing has been said of the personal appearance of the Misses Harmer +from the time when their brother met them, twenty-one years before this +date, and as they will in future play a far more important part in this +narrative than they have hitherto done, it is proper to say what they +were like at this period.</p> + +<p>The Misses Harmer, when their brother left England in the year 1795, a +boy of sixteen, were aged respectively twenty and twenty-one, and were +consequently at the time of his death, in the year 1848, seventy-three +and seventy-four. At the time when they were last described they were +extremely similar in appearance, and, indeed, might almost have been +mistaken one for the other, but there was now a great and marked +difference between them: the younger sister looked the elder of the two +by at least ten years. The ascetic life, the severe self-repressive +discipline to which they had subjected themselves, seemed to have worn +out the one sister while it had but hardened the other—hardened her +till her impassive face had a stony and petrified appearance. Of the +two, she had, perhaps, been originally the woman of the stronger +passions and the more determined will; and yet her more vigorous +constitution had enabled her to support that lonely, hard, loveless +life, and to come through it harder and sterner than before, while her +weaker sister was fast succumbing to the long and weary struggle.</p> + +<p>Angela's bended head was more bowed now than of yore, her look more mild +and gentle; the light of that peace which was to her fast +approaching—when watching, and penance, and tears should be all +over—seemed to shine already on her face, and to soften its hard, +unhappy outlines.</p> + +<p>Cecilia was more upright than before. The comparatively cheerful life +she had led at her brother's house for nearly twenty years, had, to a +certain extent, worn off the look and habit of repression and humility +which she had gained from her early residence in a convent, and +afterwards with her stern elder brothers. She had too, for all these +last twenty years, been working with a purpose—a vague one indeed, and, +seemingly, a hopeless one, but yet to her a holy purpose, worthy of her +dedicating her life to attain—namely, the hope that her brother might +yet return to the old faith, or that, if he died before them, he might +leave them his property; so that, in either of these cases, the Roman +Church might reap the rich harvest which her elder brothers had intended +for it. This hope had been to a great extent defeated by the declared +intentions of Herbert Harmer, and yet she clung desperately to it.</p> + +<p>The Bishop of Ravenna had cheered them all this time with his letters +and his counsel; but even he had almost given up all hope of ever +winning their rich property for the Church; but Cecilia never despaired, +and when she had hurried back again on the news of Mr. Harmer's first +paralytic seizure, it was with the strong hope and conviction that he +would yet on his deathbed alter his will, abjure the errors of the faith +he had adopted, and be received and forgiven by Mother Church. However, +events had not turned out as she had hoped. Herbert Harmer had died a +member of his new faith, and the estate was certainly not willed to the +sisters, and Cecilia, while she endured a true sense of sorrow for her +brother's loss, yet mingled with it a deep feeling of disappointment and +rage, and a stern determination that the labour of her life should not +be frustrated.</p> + +<p>Doctor Ashleigh, when they entered the room, saw at once that both +sisters were much agitated, and yet in a different way. Both had +evidently been crying; but Miss Harmer seemed endeavouring to keep down +her grief by a fierce, angry determination; while Angela's sorrow was +mingled with a strange, timid, anxious manner, which Dr. Ashleigh could +not understand.</p> + +<p>"You received our message, Dr. Ashleigh, and are aware of the terrible +event which has taken place here?"</p> + +<p>"I am, Miss Harmer, and am indeed shocked to hear it."</p> + +<p>"You have heard that our brother was murdered?"</p> + +<p>"Murdered!" Dr. Ashleigh said aghast; for he had heard some of the +floating rumours as he passed through the town, but had quite +disbelieved them.</p> + +<p>"Yes, Dr. Ashleigh, my brother was murdered—killed by the conduct of +that wretched, ungrateful woman; murdered as much as if she had stabbed +him to the heart."</p> + +<p>"Really, Miss Harmer," the Doctor said, "you alarmed me for a moment +into believing that my old friend had met his end by foul play. Sophy's +conduct is inexcusable, and I do not wish to enter into any defence of +it; but still she can hardly be termed a murderess."</p> + +<p>"I can see no distinction, Dr. Ashleigh," Miss Harmer said; and as she +spoke her tall figure seemed to gain additional height, her eyes +flashed, and her colour rose angrily. "My brother, Dr. Ashleigh, was on +the fair way to perfect recovery—you, yourself, told me so—and that +only some sudden shock would be likely to throw him back again, but that +another attack would probably be fatal. That shock, this wretched girl +deliberately and knowingly gave him, and I say she is as wilfully the +murderess of the man who had picked her from the kennel where she was +born, as if she had given him poison. I pray that her sin may be +punished by divine law, if it cannot be by human. I pray that the man +for whom she has murdered my brother may turn out a constant retribution +and curse to her. May she never know happiness again. May her children, +if she bear them, cause her the misery she has brought on us. May——"</p> + +<p>"Hold, Miss Harmer!" Dr. Ashleigh said sternly, stepping forward and +laying his hand impressively on the excited woman's arm. "Forbear! +Blessings and curses proceed from God alone. At present your grief at +this sad affair urges you to say things which in your calmer moments you +would be, I am sure, the first to regret. This unhappy girl has +assuredly grievously erred, and grievous have been the consequences; and +she will, undoubtedly, have to expiate it by a life-long sorrow and +repentance—and her bitterest enemy need wish her no worse punishment +than her own thoughts and the husband she has chosen."</p> + +<p>"We need not discuss the question, Dr. Ashleigh!" Miss Harmer said, +angrily. "Nothing will ever alter my feelings towards this wretched girl! +Nothing can ever soften the horror and loathing I feel towards her! +Nothing shall ever induce me to see her face again! She may be beyond +human law, but in my sight she is a murderess!"</p> + +<p>Dr. Ashleigh saw that in Miss Harmer's present state of nervous and +excited feeling, any argument which he could urge would be only vain, +and would, indeed, tend to heighten her anger. He therefore remained +silent.</p> + +<p>Angela Harmer had not yet spoken, but it was evident that she—as far as +her milder nature could go—sympathized with her sister's anger, and yet +sorrow was with her predominant. She had seated herself in a large +arm-chair by the fire, on entering; and most of the time she sat with +her face hidden in her hands, and the Doctor could see the tears trickle +through her withered fingers. Sometimes, however, when her sister was +speaking she looked up with an anxious deprecating glance, but Cecilia +heeded her not; but, when she had done speaking, walked up and down the +room with her hands tightly clenched, her eyes flashing with anger—even +through the tears of sorrow which rolled unheeded down her cheek;—her +whole form so inspired by her emotion, that Dr. Ashleigh could hardly +believe her to be the quiet self-contained woman he had known so long.</p> + +<p>At last she became more calm, stopped before him, and said, "Dr. +Ashleigh, you were our brother's greatest friend; may I ask you to see +to all arrangements connected with his funeral. We should wish him to be +buried in such state as is becoming to the last of an old race. Alas! +that he cannot be laid where his fore-fathers have been! Will you see to +all this?"</p> + +<p>"I will, Miss Harmer, willingly. I do not know whether you have any +particular wishes as to where he should be laid? I have heard him +express a preference for the village churchyard here. I do not know +whether he has mentioned his wishes in his will."</p> + +<p>"I know nothing of the will whatever!" Miss Harmer said positively, and +Dr. Ashleigh noticed her sister cast one of the frightened glances +towards her which he had before perceived. "I know nothing whatever of +the will," she repeated steadily; "but if he expressed any preference +for Sturry, let it be so. And now, Dr. Ashleigh," and here her voice +softened, "I do not know that we have any more to say: you will wish, of +course, to go up to see our poor brother. We shall see you, I hope, +to-morrow or next day." So saying, the Misses Harmer took their leave of +Dr. Ashleigh, and retired to their own rooms, while he took the +well-known way to his old friend's bed-room.</p> + +<p>As he went up-stairs he met Mary—the girl who had been Sophy Needham's +maid—coming down. Her eyes were red with crying. She curtsied to the +Doctor as he passed—for they all loved him, and he had ever a kind word +for all he met. "This is a sad affair, Mary!" he said.</p> + +<p>"Dreadful, Sir," the girl answered. "Will you please to tell me what has +become of Miss Sophy? We are all so anxious to know the real truth."</p> + +<p>"I am afraid she has eloped with Mr. Gregory," the Doctor said, gravely; +"there is no secret about it."</p> + +<p>"I was afraid she was gone, Sir, when I went into her room this morning, +and found the bed had not been slept in, and the letter for Mr. Harmer +on the table. It gave me such a turn, Sir; you might have knocked me +down with a breath."</p> + +<p>"Did Mr. Harmer say anything when you gave him the letter?" the Doctor +asked, anxiously.</p> + +<p>"No, Sir! I gave him the letter and went straight out, for I was +frightened; he was sitting at the table just as he was when we found him +dead—just the same. He was a kind, good master, Sir, as ever +lived—never angry or put out; and he forgived Miss Sophy with his dying +breath." And the girl began to cry again.</p> + +<p>"How do you know he forgave Miss Sophy?" Dr. Ashleigh asked, stopping, +for he was just continuing his way up-stairs. "How do you know he +forgave Miss Sophy?"</p> + +<p>"This way. Sir. When the Misses Harmer went into the room, I went and +stood at the door to listen, for we all wanted to hear what had become +of poor Miss Sophy. They went up to the table and leant over him, and +gave a cry; and I ran in, and they were lifting him up, and on the table +before him was a letter he had just begun to write, it was only five or +six words, but I saw it began 'My dearest Sophy;' I did not read +anything else, but the last two words were 'I forgive.' They were writ +very large indeed, and I could not help seeing them, Sir, as I helped to +lift him up. After he had been carried up-stairs I went into the library +to get that letter, Sir—for I knew it would be a great comfort to poor +Miss Sophy—but when I got there it was gone. I asked the servants but +none of them had seen it, so I suppose one of the Misses Harmer had +taken care of it."</p> + +<p>"I am very glad you told me this, Mary, very glad! It will indeed be a +great comfort to your poor young mistress." So saying the Doctor went +into the dead man's room.</p> + +<p>Mr. Harmer lay on his bed, and the warm light of the afternoon sun +streamed bright and full upon his face. It was tranquil and peaceful as +in life, and his lips were parted in a calm smile—a smile as of the +peace and forgiveness he felt as he died.</p> + +<p>The Doctor looked into his old friend's face, and the tears welled up +into his eyes. "He died as he lived," he said to himself, "forgiving as +he also would be forgiven. Dear old friend, we have spent many a happy +hour together; yet, dying as you died, how can I grieve for you?"</p> + +<p>The Doctor stood for some time sadly musing by the bed-side; and then +turning softly away, was soon on his way back to Canterbury, where he +gave the necessary orders and then returned to Ramsgate.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a>CHAPTER XIV.</h2> + +<h3>MISSING!</h3> + + +<p>Mr. Harmer died on Friday morning, and it was arranged that his funeral +should take place on that day week. On the day preceding Dr. Ashleigh +left Ramsgate early, and went direct to his own house, to see several +patients who were to call upon him there prior to his going out on his +rounds. Most of those he expected had called, and he was sitting alone +in his library when the door opened and the servant announced "Mr. +Gregory."</p> + +<p>Dr. Ashleigh rose from his seat, with a cold, haughty look on his face, +such as had not for many years been seen upon it. Robert Gregory's face +wore a mingled air of anxiety and triumph, slightly veiled under an +expression of gravity and decorum which he had assumed as suitable to +the occasion. He was evidently much embarrassed how to begin, and the +extremely repellant and hostile expression of Dr. Ashleigh's face did +not assist him in his difficulty.</p> + +<p>"May I ask," the Doctor said, "to what I owe this visit?"</p> + +<p>"I have called, Dr. Ashleigh," Robert Gregory began, in a voice to which +he in vain attempted to give its usual loud, careless tone. "I have +called from my wife to ask you—you to whom she alone could apply at the +present time—to give her some intelligence respecting the death of her +grandfather."</p> + +<p>"If the unfortunate girl who has become your wife will call upon me +herself, I will give her every information and assistance in my power. +With you I will hold no communication whatever."</p> + +<p>Robert Gregory bit his lips angrily, and his eye flashed: he was a man +but little accustomed to be thwarted. However, as he felt that any +outburst of anger would only injure his cause, and could do him no good, +after a momentary, but fierce struggle with himself, he went on quietly.</p> + +<p>"You are naturally indignant with me, Dr. Ashleigh. I know that after +the sad consequences which have ensued you cannot be otherwise, and am +aware that it is useless my making any excuses or protestations. I know +that the only way in which I can ever justify the course I have taken +will be by making Sophy happy, and by proving that her love and +confidence in me are not so greatly misplaced, and that, after all, I am +not so utter a scamp as the world gives me credit for."</p> + +<p>Undoubtedly the man had carefully thought over beforehand what he +intended to say, and yet he spoke earnestly, for he really meant what he +said, and Dr. Ashleigh, a shrewd observer of men, saw that he did so, +and his face rather softened in its expression. Robert Gregory observed +the change, and went on.</p> + +<p>"I myself should never have come on this errand could she have done so. +But the truth is a friend telegraphed the news to me, and the message +reached me only on Monday morning, as I was returning leisurely from the +north. Sophy is nearly out of her mind, and the doctor I called in to +see her fears that she will have an attack of brain fever. I should not +have left, but her cry was unceasing to know the details of his death, +and whether he said a word of forgiveness to her. I came down by this +morning's train, and return by the one o'clock to London."</p> + +<p>Dr. Ashleigh was softened now; he saw by the man's anxious face and +changed voice that he was truly in earnest, and that although he had +unquestionably wooed and married Sophy for her money, yet that he did +really care for herself, and the Doctor thought that her chance of +happiness was, after all, better than he had imagined it.</p> + +<p>"I am sorry to hear what you say about your wife," he said, in quite a +different tone to that which he had previously adopted, "although I +cannot say I am surprised. The knowledge that the news of her flight had +caused Mr. Harmer's death must of necessity be a terrible grief and +sorrow to her. On that head, however, I truly rejoice that I can give +her some consolation and alleviate her remorse. Mr. Harmer forgave her. +Her letter was taken in to him, and he was found dead with it before +him, and a sheet of paper on which he had begun a letter to her. The +last words he ever wrote were: 'I forgive.' Tell her this from me."</p> + +<p>Robert Gregory's face lit up with pleasure, and this time the emotion +was not purely of a selfish kind. He was glad, very glad for Sophy's +sake to hear that Mr. Harmer had forgiven her before he died; indeed, +even for his own sake he felt the news to be a relief. Hardened as he +was, he could not have felt easy with the knowledge that that good old +man had died invoking a curse upon him with his last breath. But +although for both these reasons he received the news with pleasure, it +was as nothing to the satisfaction he felt at the account which had been +given him of Mr. Harmer's death; for it was quite evident from it that +he had died leaving his will unaltered—he had died a few minutes after +finding Sophy was gone, with his unfinished letter of forgiveness before +him—had probably never even risen from his chair, and had certainly +taken no steps towards altering or cancelling his will. Gratified as he +felt, however, he speedily repressed all show of his feelings, for he +felt that Dr. Ashleigh was watching him, and he knew that his good will +and countenance would be of great service at this time; besides which, +for Sophy's sake, he wished to stand well with him, for Sophy, he knew, +esteemed and loved Dr. Ashleigh more than any other man, now Mr. Harmer +was dead. He, therefore, after a minute's silence, said with an air of +frankness:</p> + +<p>"I am, indeed, glad to hear what you tell me, Dr. Ashleigh. It will be +an immense relief to poor Sophy, and even to myself, for it is not +pleasant to lie under the curse of a dead man; besides which, it would +be idle of me to pretend that I am not very gratified to hear that Mr. +Harmer took no steps towards altering his will. As you, a man of the +world, will naturally suppose, Sophy's wealth was the great inducement +to me, when I first sought her; and although I trust to prove to her and +to you, that I have now learnt to love her truly for herself, I am +still, of course, very glad to hear that her property is not forfeited. +It is now time that I should return to the train, and I hope that my +news may have a good effect upon Sophy's health. I shall be down again +the day after to-morrow, not to attend the funeral, but to be present at +the reading of the will, which will, I suppose, take place afterwards."</p> + +<p>"It will," Dr. Ashleigh said. "Miss Harmer wrote to the solicitor in +London yesterday, informing him of her brother's death, and begging him +to be down at the funeral, which takes place at two o'clock. And now, +Mr. Gregory, will you say to Sophy, that her grandfather forgave her +freely and at once, and that it is not for me, whom she has not injured, +to judge more severely than he has done; will you tell her from me, that +in my daughter and myself she will find friends glad to welcome her +back, and to forget the past. For yourself, Mr. Gregory, it would be +folly to say that a strong prejudice does not exist, you best know +whether justly or not. However, these days are past, and it is now, +according as you treat Sophy, that you will be received, at any rate by +us. Make her happy; try and dry the tears which the consequences of her +love for you have caused to flow, and you will find that we shall be +glad to know you as Sophy's husband."</p> + +<p>So saying, Dr. Ashleigh held out his hand to the man before him, and +Robert Gregory, as he grasped it, experienced a feeling of real +gratification. He knew that this was a truly good man, and that his +course towards Sophy was in no way altered by the fact of her being an +heiress, but because she had been forgiven by his old friend Mr. Harmer, +and for the sake of the many years of affectionate intercourse he had +had with herself. He was gratified, too, by what the Doctor had said +respecting himself, for the countenance and friendship of a good man can +be appreciated even by the worst character. And so Robert Gregory took +his leave of Dr. Ashleigh and returned to town with a softened, although +exultant heart. The Doctor then went over to Harmer Place and saw the +sisters. They passed most of their time in their own rooms, engaged in +earnest prayer for the benefit of their brother's soul; and once, when +the Doctor had been there, they spoke to him in glowing terms of the +power which their church possessed to forgive all sins, even the +greatest. While they thus spoke their eyes lit up with a strange, +passionate fervour of religious zeal—that fierce, burning zeal, which +has for so many centuries made men equally ready to martyrize others or +to die martyrs themselves—that zeal which has led some to give up all +worldly goods, and live the life of wandering beggars, and others to +allow no scruple to interfere with any deed which can enrich and benefit +the church to which they belong. To these remarks Dr. Ashleigh returned +no answer; he was at all times indisposed to enter into religious +arguments, and with women in the exalted state of mind in which the +Misses Harmer were, it would have been worse than useless. On this +occasion, however, he found them both in a calmer state, and he +mentioned to them that he had seen Robert Gregory, and that he spoke of +coming up on the part of his wife after the funeral. For a minute or so +they were silent, and then Miss Harmer said, with stern vehemence,—</p> + +<p>"Let him come—I presume it is his right; but never again while I live +shall the murderer of my brother darken this door."</p> + +<p>The Doctor half smiled at the idle threat, while Angela Harmer glanced +up at her sister from under her drooping eyelids.</p> + +<p>"I should, perhaps, rather say," Miss Harmer corrected herself, "as long +as I am in this house; if he enter, I leave it. Harmer Place shall never +hold together for one day the sisters of Herbert Harmer and his +murderers."</p> + +<p>The Doctor was silent, for he thought that what she said would certainly +turn out correct, for he did not deem it probable that Robert Gregory, +when he came into possession, was at all the man to invite the two +Misses Harmer to take up their abode with him.</p> + +<p>The next night Dr. Ashleigh did not return to Ramsgate. Harry was to +arrive by the late train from the North, and after the funeral they were +to go down to Ramsgate, where it was arranged they should stop for a +week or two. After that, as we should be well able to afford it, papa +had settled to go on to the Continent for the winter with me.</p> + +<p>Accordingly, the next day Herbert Harmer was laid in his grave in the +quiet churchyard of Sturry. Agreeably to Miss Harmer's wishes, the +funeral was celebrated with a pomp which he who had gone had never +desired for himself while alive. The hearse and mourning-coaches, each +with their four horses and tossing feathers, the man in front with the +tray of sable plumes, the mutes in long array—all was done in the best +style, and people came in from quite a long distance to see it. A good +many of his old Canterbury friends sent their carriages to join the +procession, but there were not many real mourners among those who +followed. The first mourning-coach contained Dr. Ashleigh, his son, and +the solicitor, who had arrived just as the cortège was starting; the +other coaches contained the principal tenants, who had liked their late +landlord, and who had always found him compliant and kind in the +extreme; they had, however, very seldom seen him, as since his son's +death he had gone very little himself among his tenants, although he had +always kept himself well informed concerning the affairs of each of +them. As the procession wound through the village many a blessing and +prayer was murmured for the dead man; there, indeed, he had been a +benefactor; many a sick bed, many an aching heart had his bounty +relieved; and they blessed his memory, blessed him as thousands had done +before them—thousands lying in agony in London hospitals, some never to +go out again alive, many more to be restored in health and strength to +their families; these had poured out countless prayers for the unknown +benefactor who had endowed this ward, added that comfort, or whose +munificent donations had enabled the hospital largely to extend its +benefits; and doubtless their prayers were not the less heard that no +name was uttered, and that they went up for their unknown friend.</p> + +<p>And so Herbert Harmer slept the sleep of the blessed in the quiet +churchyard, and the funeral cortège went back to Harmer Place.</p> + +<p>The doctor had been much affected by the service over his old friend. +Harry, too, was much moved, but in his case it was more the thought of +the grave he had last stood beside, and her over whom he had heard the +service read two months before.</p> + +<p>Mr. Petersfield, the solicitor, was calm. With him it was a pure matter +of business. He had hardly ever seen the dead man; he knew him only as +one of the wealthiest and most eccentric of his clients; he had heard +from his partner that he was a man of sterling worth; but Mr. Ransome +had always managed Mr. Harmer's business, and he himself knew nothing +about it. Mr. Ransome had died six months before, and it would have been +his duty, in a short time, to have made himself thoroughly acquainted +with Mr. Harmer's affairs; as it was, he knew very little about them.</p> + +<p>During the short ride to and from the church there was hardly a word +exchanged in the carriage, as Dr. Ashleigh was an entire stranger to the +solicitor. When they reached the house they were shown into the +drawing-room; into which, a few minutes later, Robert Gregory was +ushered.</p> + +<p>"How is your wife, Mr. Gregory?" the doctor asked, as he shook hands.</p> + +<p>"She is very ill, doctor, but I left her certainly calmer and more +tranquil, and I trust, from what the medical man said last night, that +she will escape any serious attack of brain fever. The news you sent her +was a very great consolation to her, but she is still in terribly low +spirits."</p> + +<p>Here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of the Misses +Harmer, who bowed to Dr. Ashleigh, his son, and the solicitor, all of +whom they had seen before, but who took no notice whatever of the +presence of Robert Gregory.</p> + +<p>The Misses Harmer were accompanied, or rather followed into the room by +a gentleman, whom it was easy to see by his dress was an ecclesiastic of +the Romish Church, and who was an entire stranger to Dr. Ashleigh.</p> + +<p>"This gentleman," Miss Harmer said, introducing him, "is Father Eustace, +a friend of ours for many years, and who, having heard of our loss, has +come over from abroad to assist and comfort us with his presence and +advice."</p> + +<p>Father Eustace was a pale, ascetic looking man, with large, eager bright +eyes; his complexion was dark and swarthy, and he looked every inch what +he was—an Italian. He spoke English with a strong foreign accent, but +still grammatically and pretty distinctly. He bowed courteously to those +present, and then took his seat, and during what followed occupied +himself in closely scrutinizing their countenances, especially those of +Dr. Ashleigh and Robert Gregory, as if desirous to judge for himself how +nearly they tallied with the description he had received of them.</p> + +<p>The Misses Harmer were very pale, but had a quiet, fixed look about +them, in which Dr. Ashleigh thought he read their determination to +listen with composure to the reading of the will, which would place the +hated Robert and Sophy Gregory in the position of master and mistress of +Harmer Place.</p> + +<p>For some little time after they had taken their seats there was a dead +silence, as if each were waiting for the other to begin. At last Mr. +Petersfield said—</p> + +<p>"With your permission, Miss Harmer, I will at once proceed to read the +will of my late client, Mr. Herbert Harmer. Will you be good enough to +hand it to me?"</p> + +<p>"I have not any will of my brother in my possession," Miss Harmer +answered, coldly.</p> + +<p>"Not in your possession, madam? But you are doubtless aware where your +late brother was in the habit of keeping his important documents?"</p> + +<p>"I have looked, Mr. Petersfield, among his papers, but I have found no +will among them."</p> + +<p>There was a pause of blank astonishment.</p> + +<p>"How is it, Mr. Petersfield," Dr. Ashleigh said, gravely, "that you have +not Mr. Harmer's will in your custody?"</p> + +<p>"It was in our hands, doctor, until about two months ago, when Mr. +Harmer wrote to me, saying that he was desirous of making some slight +alterations in it, and requesting me to forward it. I did so, in charge +of one of my clerks. On the day he came down here, some friend of Mr. +Harmer's died—I understood it was Mrs. Ashleigh—and he told my clerk +that he did not feel equal to attend to business, but that if he would +leave the document with him, he would look it over, and write to me to +send down again in a short time to make the alterations he required. I +did not hear any further from him, and therefore supposed that he had +either changed his mind in reference to the alteration, or had forgotten +the matter altogether. I remember, when my clerk came back, he told me +that he had ventured to suggest that so valuable a document ought to be +kept in a safe place, and that Mr. Harmer had smiled, and answered, 'You +need not be afraid on that score. I have a place to put it in where all +the burglars in the world could not get at it."</p> + +<p>There was again a blank silence, and then the solicitor went on—</p> + +<p>"In any case, madam, I think it but right that we should search Mr. +Harmer's library thoroughly."</p> + +<p>"Certainly, Mr. Petersfield; you are quite at liberty to search where +you like. Father Eustace, will you do me the kindness to accompany these +gentlemen."</p> + +<p>Father Eustace at once rose, and preceded the others to the library.</p> + +<p>"This looks a very strange business, Mr. Petersfield," Dr. Ashleigh +said, on their way thither.</p> + +<p>"Very—very much so indeed, doctor, and I do not think our search here +is likely to be attended with any success."</p> + +<p>The library was thoroughly ransacked. Every drawer was pulled out and +examined for secret hiding-places; the books were all taken down from +their shelves to look behind them; every place, possible and impossible, +was searched, but, as the lawyer had predicted, without the slightest +result. Harry and Robert Gregory performed the active portion of the +work, the doctor and Mr. Petersfield directing their operations, and +examining the piles of papers which came to light during the search. All +were very silent: they were too interested and excited to talk. From +time to time Robert Gregory muttered savage execrations between his +teeth; but, with that exception, the search was conducted in silence.</p> + +<p>The priest sat quietly and watched them—watched them, and not their +proceedings: in these he seemed to have no curiosity, his attention +being directed entirely to the way in which they each bore their +disappointment.</p> + +<p>The search lasted for an hour. By that time the place had been +completely ransacked, and every possible place examined; and the whole +floor of the room was closely covered with books, papers, scientific +apparatus, and the accumulated litter of years. When all was done, and +it was evident that no corner remained unexplored, the searchers rested +from their work, wiped the perspiration from their foreheads, and looked +at their leader for further instructions.</p> + +<p>Dr. Ashleigh drew the solicitor to a door which led into the garden, +opened it, and went out with him, so that they could converse without +restraint from the presence of the priest.</p> + +<p>"This is an extraordinary business, Mr. Petersfield," Dr. Ashleigh said; +"what do you think of it?"</p> + +<p>"Do you consult me professionally, Dr. Ashleigh?" the lawyer asked, in +return.</p> + +<p>"Certainly I do," Dr. Ashleigh said vehemently. "Mr. Harmer was one of +my oldest and my dearest friends; and even were I not so deeply +interested in the discovery of the will as I am, I would spend every +penny I have in the world in seeing his wishes carried out. You are +aware of the nature of the will?"</p> + +<p>"In a general way I am. My late partner, Mr. Ransome, who has managed +Mr. Harmer's business ever since he came to England, some twenty-three +years ago, told me that Mr. Harmer had left all his property, with the +exception of some comparatively small legacies, between your children +and his illegitimate grandchild, Miss Needham—now, as I understand, +Mrs. Gregory."</p> + +<p>"Precisely," Dr. Ashleigh said. "This is the disposition he publicly +announced that he had made of his property; and in the event of this +will not being found, I presume the Misses Harmer, as his only +relations, will inherit everything?"</p> + +<p>"Clearly so, doctor. It is a most awkward business. However, we cannot +now determine what steps to take: we shall have plenty of time for that +hereafter. Is there any other place you can suggest as worth +searching—his bed-room, for instance?"</p> + +<p>"None at all," the doctor answered. "Mr. Harmer was a man of the +simplest personal habits. His bed-room is furnished just as it was in +India—a plain French bedstead without hangings, an India matting on the +floor, a few cane chairs, and a small chest of drawers. No, it is no use +searching there."</p> + +<p>"Or anywhere, I believe, frankly," Mr. Petersfield said. "Wherever the +will may be, we shall never find it."</p> + +<p>So saying, they returned into the library. Father Eustace was sitting +unmoved in the chair where they had left him. Harry was pacing up and +down that portion of the floor which remained free from the books and +instruments, sometimes stopping and looking out of the window, and +drumming on the panes with his fingers in a state of angry impatience; +he was anxious and uneasy, but he could not believe that the will was +more than mislaid for a time.</p> + +<p>Robert Gregory had cast himself sullenly into an arm chair, and sat with +his elbows on the arms, and his chin resting on his hands. His face was +flushed, his eyes wide open, and his lips set hard. A deadly sensation +of despair was stealing over him, which he in vain strove against. Was +it possible that, after all these years of scheming and watchfulness, +his prize was to be snatched from him in the moment of success? He could +not and would not believe it, and yet he had a hopeless feeling in him +which told him that the will was either lost or destroyed, and that it +would never be found or heard of again. When Mr. Petersfield said, "We +can do no good here—let us return to the drawing-room," he rose, and +followed the others mechanically.</p> + +<p>The Misses Harmer were sitting as they had left them, stiff and +composed, the stern look upon their faces, a red spot in the centre of +their cheeks, and a strange light in their eyes.</p> + +<p>"You have not found my brother's will?" Miss Harmer asked, as they came +in.</p> + +<p>"As you are probably pretty well aware, Miss Harmer, we have not found +it. And now let me ask you distinctly, do you, or do you not, know where +your late brother's will is?"</p> + +<p>Miss Harmer paused for a moment, and Mr. Petersfield and the doctor saw +that she glanced towards Father Eustace, who was looking on the ground.</p> + +<p>"I do not know where my brother was in the habit of keeping his various +documents."</p> + +<p>"I said nothing about various documents, Miss Harmer," Dr. Ashleigh +said, sternly. "I asked you, do you, or do you not, know where the will +is?"</p> + +<p>"I do not," Miss Harmer said, steadily. "Should you find the will, you +will, I presume, let us know?"</p> + +<p>"Should I find it, I will do so."</p> + +<p>"It is not easy to find what has never been lost," Robert Gregory said, +bitterly.</p> + +<p>Miss Harmer faced round at once upon this new antagonist, as if glad to +turn her face from the stern, searching look of the doctor. She and her +sister had risen from their seats now, and none of the others had seated +themselves. Father Eustace had moved across and taken his place by them, +as if to support them by his presence; the others stood in a group +together, with Dr. Ashleigh slightly in advance.</p> + +<p>"As for you, sir," Miss Harmer broke out, addressing Robert Gregory—"as +for you, as I have already told Dr. Ashleigh, I look upon you and the +woman you call your wife, as the murderers of my brother; and now, +having struck him down, and seeing him laid in his grave, you would fain +come here to grasp at his property. Why do you come here to ask for his +will? What is so likely as that, when he heard of that ungrateful girl's +conduct, that conduct which gave him his deathblow, he tore his will +into fragments?"</p> + +<p>"But, Miss Harmer," Dr. Ashleigh said, in his quiet, firm voice, +motioning Robert Gregory, who had advanced to reply to the attack upon +him, to be silent. "But, Miss Harmer, we know that such was not the +case; we know that he was found in the same position in which he was +sitting when he received Sophy's letter. We know that he did not leave +the room, and that no one entered it. We know that there were no +fragments of paper scattered about, as there would in all probability +have been had he destroyed the will in the way you suggest; and lastly, +Miss Harmer," and here the doctor advanced a step nearer and spoke even +more impressingly, "lastly, we know that such an intention was farthest +from Mr. Harmer's mind; for that he began a letter, which is, or has +been in your possession, a letter to Sophy expressing his full +forgiveness. So that in your bitter anger against the poor girl, you are +acting in direct contradiction to the dying words of your brother."</p> + +<p>The two Misses Harmer and Father Eustace were evidently staggered by +this attack. Miss Harmer's cheek, which had flushed up when she attacked +Robert Gregory, turned deadly pale again, and she shrank back as if she +had received a blow. She was a little time before she answered, and then +the change of her voice showed how much she was unnerved:</p> + +<p>"How do you know what you say, Dr. Ashleigh? Have you been enquiring +about among my servants?"</p> + +<p>"I should think, Miss Harmer, you must by this time know me well enough +to be aware that I am not a man given to enquiring among servants. I was +simply told the matter, the truth of which you do not and cannot deny; +and for Sophy's sake I was delighted to hear it. I was glad, also, for +the sake of him who is gone to know that he died with words of +forgiveness on his lips; a forgiveness which you have taken upon +yourself to conceal and to refuse."</p> + +<p>Miss Harmer evidently quailed before Dr. Ashleigh's words. He saw his +advantage, and continued solemnly, pointing with his finger towards her +as he spoke—</p> + +<p>"And now listen to me, Miss Harmer. I believe, I more than believe, that +will to be concealed, and that you know its place of concealment. Now I, +your dead brother's greatest friend, warn you solemnly. I speak in his +name and my own, and I warn you not to destroy that document. It is your +dead brother's will, and if you destroy it may his curse light upon +you."</p> + +<p>"Cease, sir," Father Eustace said, interposing himself between Dr. +Ashleigh and the sister, now pale and almost gasping for breath; "cease +these impious insults!"</p> + +<p>Dr. Ashleigh waved him aside, and seeing the effect he was producing, +continued in the same earnest voice, never removing his eyes from the +sisters' faces—</p> + +<p>"I warn you if you destroy it, your dead brother's voice will cry from +the grave. There will be no more peace for you in this world or the +next. His curse will follow you here, and plead against you at the +judgment-seat of God."</p> + +<p>"Come," he said, turning to his companions; for Angela Harmer had sunk +nearly lifeless in a chair, and Cecilia would have fallen had not the +priest, who had in vain endeavoured to check the doctor's solemn +denunciation, supported her. "Come, let us leave this;" and the four men +in silence went out, entered Dr. Ashleigh's carriage, which was in +waiting, and drove off.</p> + + +<h3>END OF VOL. I.</h3> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's A Search For A Secret (Vol 1 of 3), by G. A. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Search For A Secret (Vol 1 of 3) + A Novel + +Author: G. A. Henty + +Release Date: January 20, 2011 [EBook #35012] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A SEARCH FOR A SECRET (VOL 1 OF 3) *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards, Mary Meehan and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + + A SEARCH FOR A SECRET. + + A Novel. + + BY G. A. HENTY. + + + IN THREE VOLUMES. + + VOL. I. + + LONDON: + TINSLEY BROTHERS, 18, CATHERINE ST., STRAND. + 1867. + + LONDON: + WYMAN AND SONS, PRINTERS, GREAT QUEEN STREET, + LINCOLN'S-INN FIELDS, W.C. + + + + +CONTENTS OF VOL. I. + + +CHAPTER I. EARLY DAYS + +CHAPTER II. THE HARMERS OF HARMER PLACE + +CHAPTER III. "L'HOMME PROPOSE, DIEU DISPOSE" + +CHAPTER IV. THE LAST OF THE HARMERS + +CHAPTER V. TESTAMENTARY INTENTIONS + +CHAPTER VI. THE BISHOP OF RAVENNA + +CHAPTER VII. SOCIETY GRACIOUSLY CONDESCENDS + +CHAPTER VIII. INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD + +CHAPTER IX. THE OLD STORY + +CHAPTER X. SUNSHINE AND SHADOW + +CHAPTER XI. LAYING A TRAIN + +CHAPTER XII. THE EXPLOSION + +CHAPTER XIII. A BAD BUSINESS + +CHAPTER XIV. MISSING! + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +EARLY DAYS. + + +There are towns over which time seems to exercise but little power, but +to have passed them by forgotten, in his swift course. Everywhere else, +at his touch, all is changed. Great cities rise upon the site of fishing +villages; huge factories, with their smoky chimneys grow up and +metamorphose quiet towns into busy hives of industry; while other +cities, once prosperous and flourishing, sink into insignificance; and +the passer by, as he wanders through their deserted streets, wonders and +laments over the ruin which has fallen upon them. + +But the towns of which I am speaking--and of which there are but few now +left in England, and these, with hardly an exception, cathedral +towns--seem to suffer no such change. They neither progress nor fall +back. If left behind, they are not beaten in the race, for they have +never entered upon it; but are content to rest under the shelter of +their tall spires and towers; to seek for no change and to meet with +none; but to remain beloved, as no other towns are loved, by those who +have long known them--assimilating, as it were, the very natures of +those who dwell in them, to their own sober, neutral tints. + +In these towns, a wanderer who has left them as a boy, returning as an +old, old man, will see but little change--a house gone here, another +nearly similar built in its place; a greyer tint upon the stone; a tree +fallen in the old close; the ivy climbing a little higher upon the +crumbling wall;--these are all, or nearly all, the changes which he will +see. The trains rush past, bearing their countless passengers, who so +rarely think of stopping there, that the rooks, as they hold their grave +conversations in their nests in the old elm-trees, cease to break off, +even for a moment, at the sound of the distant whistle. The very people +seem, although this is but seeming, to have changed as little as the +place: the same names are over the shop doors--the boy who was at school +has taken his grand-sire's place, and stands at his door, looking down +the quiet street as the old man used to do before him; the dogs are +asleep in the sunny corners they formerly loved; and the same horses +seem to be lazily drawing the carts, with familiar names upon them, into +the old market-place. The wanderer may almost fancy that he has awoke +from a long, troubled dream. It is true that if he enters the little +churchyard, he will see, beneath the dark shadows of the yew-trees, more +gravestones than there were of old; but the names are so similar, that +it is only upon reading them over, that he will find that it is true +after all, and that the friends and playfellows of his childhood, the +strong, merry boys, and the fair girls with sunny ringlets, sleep +peacefully there. But it is not full yet; and he may hope that, when his +time shall come, there may be some quiet nook found, where, even as a +child, he may have fancied that he would like some day to rest. + +Among these cities pre-eminent, as a type of its class, is the town in +which I now sit down to recount the past events of my life, and of the +lives of those most dear to me--not egotistically, I hope, nor thrusting +my own story, in which, indeed, there is little enough, into view; but +telling of those I have known and lived with, as I have noted the events +down in my journal, and at times, when the things I speak of are related +merely on hearsay, dropping that dreadful personal pronoun which will +get so prominent, and telling the story as it was told to me. + +Although not born at Canterbury, I look upon it as my native town, my +city of adoption. My earliest remembrances are of the place; my +childhood and youth were spent there; and, although I was then for a few +years absent, it was for that stormy, stirring time, when life is +wrapped up in persons and not in places, when the mere scene in which +the drama is played out leaves barely an impression upon the mind, so +all-absorbing is the interest in the performers. That time over, I +returned to Canterbury as to my home, and hope, beneath the shadow of +its stately towers, to pass tranquilly down the hill of life, whose +ascent I there made with such eager, strong young steps. + +Dear old Canterbury! It is indeed a town to love with all one's heart, +as it lies, sleeping, as it were, amidst its circle of smiling +hop-covered hills, with its glorious cathedral looking so solemnly down +upon it, with its quiet courts, its shady, secluded nooks and corners, +its quaint, old-fashioned houses, with their many gables and projecting +eaves, and its crumbling but still lofty walls, it gives me somehow the +idea of a perfect haven of rest and peace. It, like me, has seen its +stormy times: Briton, Dane, and Saxon have struggled fiercely before its +walls. It, too, has had its proud dreams, its lofty aspirations; but +they are all over now, and it is, like myself, contented to pass its +days in quiet, resting upon its old associations, and with neither wish +nor anticipation of change in the tranquil tenour of its way. + +I was not, as I have said, born in the town, but went there very +young--so young that I have no remembrance of any earlier time. + +We lived in a large, rambling, old-fashioned house in a back lane. In a +little court before it stood some lime-trees, which, if they helped to +make the front darker and more dismal than it would otherwise have been, +had the good effect of shutting it out from the bad company into which +it had fallen. + +It had at one time been a place of great pretension, and belonged, +doubtless, to some country magnate, and before the little houses in the +narrow lane had sprung up and hemmed it in, it may have had a cheerful +appearance; but, at the time I speak of, the external aspect was +undeniably gloomy. But behind it was very different. There was a lawn +and large garden, at the end of which the Stour flowed quietly along, +and we children were never tired of watching the long streamer-like +green weeds at the bottom waving gently in the current, and the trout +darting here and there among them, or lying immovable, apparently +watching us, until at the slightest noise or motion they would dart away +too quickly for the eye to follow them. + +Inside, it was a glorious home for us, with its great old-fashioned hall +with dark wainscoting and large stags' heads all round it, which seemed +to be watching us children from their eyeless sockets; and its vast +fireplace, with iron dogs, where, in the old days, a fire sufficient for +the roasting of a whole bullock, might have been piled up; with its +grand staircase, with heavy oak balustrades, lit by a great window large +enough for an ordinary church; with its long passages and endless +turnings and backstairs in unexpected places; with all its low, quaint +rooms of every shape except square, and its closets nearly as large as +rooms. + +Oh, it was a delightful house! But very terrible at dusk. Then we would +not have gone along alone those long, dark passages for worlds; for we +knew that the bogies, and other strange things of which our old nurse +told us, would be sure to be lurking and upon the watch. + +It was a wonderful house for echoes, and at night we would steal from +our beds and creep to the top of the grand staircase, and listen, with +hushed breath, to the almost preternaturally loud tick of the old clock +in the hall, which seemed to us to get louder and louder, till at last +the terrors of the place would be almost too much for us, and, at the +sound of some mouse running behind the wainscoting, we would scamper off +to our beds, and bury our heads beneath the clothes, falling into a +troubled sleep, from which we woke, with terrified starts, until the +welcome approach of day, when, as the sun shone brightly in, we would +pluck up courage and laugh at our night's fright. + +Of my quite young days I have not much to say. My brother Harry, who was +two years older than I, went to the King's School; and Polly--who was as +much my junior--and I were supposed to learn lessons from our mother. +Poor mamma! not much learning, I think, did we get from her. She was +always weak and ailing, and had but little strength or spirits to give +to teaching us. When I was twelve, and Polly consequently ten, we had a +governess in of a day, to teach us and keep us in order; but I am afraid +that she found it hard work, for we were sadly wild, noisy girls--at +least, this was the opinion of our unmarried aunts, who came to stay +periodically with us. + +I have not yet spoken of my father, my dear, dear father. How we loved +him, and how he loved us, I cannot even now trust myself to write. As I +sit at my desk his portrait hangs on the wall before me, and he seems to +be looking down with that bright genial eye, that winning smile which he +wore in life. Not only by us was he loved, almost adored, but all who +came in contact with him were attracted in a similar way. To rich or +poor, ill or in health, to all with whom he was in any way associated, +he was friend and adviser. A large man and somewhat portly, with +iron-grey hair, cut short, and brushed upright off his forehead, a +rather dark complexion, a heavy eyebrow, a light-blue eye, very clear +and penetrating, and the whole face softened and brightened by his +genial smile. Very kind and sympathetic to the poor, the sick, and the +erring; pitilessly severe upon meanness, hypocrisy, and vice. He was a +man of great scientific attainments, and his study was crowded with +books and instruments which related to his favourite pursuits. Upon the +shelves were placed models of steam-engines, electrical machines, +galvanic batteries, air-pumps, microscopes, chemical apparatus, and +numberless other models and machinery of which we could not even guess +the uses. Thick volumes of botanical specimens jostled entomological +boxes and cases, butterfly-nets leant in the corner with telescopes, +retorts stood beneath the table, the drawers of which were filled with a +miscellaneous collection indescribable. + +With us children he was firm, yet very kind, ever ready to put aside his +work to amuse us, especially of a winter's evening, when, dinner over, +he always went into his study, to which we would creep, knock gently at +the door, and when allowed to enter, would sit on stools by his side, +looking into the fire, while he told us marvellous tales of enchanters +and fairies. It was at these times, when we had been particularly +good--or at least when he, who was as glad of an excuse to amuse us as +we were to be amused, pretended that we had been so--that he would take +down his chemicals, or electrical apparatus, and show us startling or +pretty experiments, ending perhaps by entrapping one of us into getting +an unexpected electric shock, and then sending us all laughing up to +bed. + +We always called papa Dr. Ashleigh in company. It was one of mamma's +fancies: she called him so herself, and was very strict about our doing +the same upon grand occasions. We did not like it, and I don't think +papa did either, for he would often make a little funny grimace, as he +generally did when anything rather put him out; but as mamma set her +mind upon it so much, he never made any remark or objection. He was +very, very kind to her, and attentive to her wishes, and likes and +dislikes; but their tastes and characters were as dissimilar as it was +possible for those of any two persons to be. + +She was very fond of papa, and was in her way proud to see him so much +looked up to and admired by other people; but I do not think that she +appreciated him for himself as it were, and would have been far happier +had he been a common humdrum country doctor. She could not understand +his devotion to science, his eager inquiry into every novelty of the +day, and his disregard for society in the ordinary sense of the word; +still less could she understand his untiring zeal in his profession. Why +he should be willing to be called up in the middle of a winter's night, +get upon his horse, and ride ten miles into the country on a sudden +summons to some patient, perhaps so poor that to ask payment for his +visit never even entered into the Doctor's mind, was a thing she could +not understand. Home, and home cares occupied all her thoughts, and it +was to her inexpressibly annoying, when, after taking extreme care to +have the nicest little dinner in readiness for his return from work, he +would come in an hour late, be perfectly unconcerned at his favourite +dish being spoilt, and, indeed, be so completely absorbed in the +contemplation of some critical case in his day's practice, as not even +to notice what there was for dinner, but to eat mechanically whatsoever +was put before him. + +Mamma must have been a very pretty woman when she married Dr. Ashleigh. +Pretty is exactly the word which suits her style of face. A very fair +complexion, a delicate colour, a slight figure, light hair, which then +fell in curls, but which she now wore in bands, with a pretty apology +for a cap on the back of her head. She had not much colour left when I +first remember her, unless it came in a sudden flush; but she was still, +we thought, very pretty, although so delicate-looking. She lay upon the +sofa most of the day, and would seldom have quitted it, had she not been +so restlessly anxious about the various household and nursery details, +that every quarter of an hour she would be off upon a tour of inspection +and supervision through the house. She was very particular about our +dress and manners, and I am sure loved us very much; but from her weak +state of health she could not have us long with her at a time. + +It was one bright summer afternoon, I remember well, when I was rather +more than fourteen years old, we had finished our early dinner, Harry +had started for school, and we had taken our books and gone out to +establish ourselves in our favourite haunt, the summer-house at the end +of the garden. This summer-house was completely covered with creepers, +which climbed all over the roof, and hung in thick festoons and +clusters, almost hiding the woodwork, and making it a perfect leafy +bower; only towards the river we kept it clear. It was so charming to +sit there with our toys or our work and watch the fish, the drifting +weeds and fallen leaves, to wonder which would get out of sight first, +and whether they would catch in the wooden piles of the bridge,--for +there was a bridge over from our garden into the fields beyond, where +our cow Brindle was kept, and where our horses were sometimes turned out +to graze, and make holiday. It was a very happy and peaceful spot. When +we were little, the summer-house was our fairy bower; here we could play +with our dolls, and be queens and princesses without fear of +interruption, and sometimes when Harry was with us, we would be Robinson +Crusoes wrecked on a desert island; here we would store up provisions, +and make feasts, here we would find footprints in the sand, and here +above all we would wage desperate battles with imaginary fleets of +canoes full of savages endeavouring to cross the stream. Harry would +stand courageously in front, and we girls carefully concealing ourselves +from the enemy, would keep him supplied with stones from the magazine, +with which he would pour volleys into the water, to the imaginary terror +of the savages, and the real alarm of our friends the fish. With what +zeal did we throw ourselves into these fights, with what excited shouts +and cries, and what delight we felt when Harry proclaimed the victory +complete and the enemy in full flight! + +As time went on, and the dolls were given up, and we could no longer +believe in savages, and began to think romping and throwing stones +unladylike, although at times very pleasant, the summer-house became our +reading-room, and at last, after we had a governess, our schoolroom in +fine weather. This was not obtained without some opposition upon the +part of mamma, who considered it as an irregular sort of proceeding; but +we coaxed papa into putting in a good word for us, and then mamma, who +was only too glad to see us happy, gave in at once. We had but just gone +out, and after a look down at the river and the fish, and across at the +pretty country beyond, had opened our books with a little sigh of +regret, when we heard a footstep coming down the garden and to our +surprise found it was papa. + +"Now girls," he said, "put on your things as quickly as you can. I am +going over to Mr. Harmer at Sturry, and will take you with me. First +though, we must ask mamma's leave. I have no doubt Miss Harrison here, +will be as glad of a holiday as you are." + +Mamma, however, although she seldom opposed any of papa's plans for our +amusement, raised many objections. Indeed, I had for some time past +noticed that she did not like our visiting at Harmer Place. Upon this +occasion she was particularly averse to our going, and said that I "was +getting too old to associate with a person of such extraordinary +antecedents as----." + +We did not hear who the person was, for papa broke in more sternly than +I had ever before heard him speak to mamma, and said that "he differed +from her entirely: for his part he could see no harm whatever in our +going, and that, at any rate until we were of an age to judge for +ourselves, no question of the sort could arise." + +Mamma, directly she saw he was in earnest, said no more, and we set out +soon afterwards, with the understanding that we should most probably not +be back until evening. + +Although neither Polly nor I ever made any remark to each other about +that conversation, we--or at least I can answer for myself--were not the +less astonished at it. It seemed perfectly inexplicable to me. What +objection could there be to our going to the Harmers? I was, as I have +said, past fourteen, and was beginning to think and reason about all +sorts of things, and this was a problem which I tried in vain for a long +time to solve to my satisfaction. How I pondered the matter over in +every light, but ever without success. Mamma had said it was a person. +Now, person generally means a woman, and the only women at Harmer Place +were the two Miss Harmers. Had it been a principle mamma objected to, I +could have understood it, for the Miss Harmers were bigoted Catholics. +Not that that would have made any difference with papa, who looked at +these matters with a very latitudinarian eye. "In my opinion," I have +heard him say, "the sect to which a man belongs makes but little +difference, if he does but do his best according to his belief." + +And I remember that in after years, when we had suffered much, he warned +us not to blame a creed for the acts of its professors. "History has +shown," he would say, "that a bigot, whether he be Catholic, Protestant, +or Mussulman, will be equally a cruel persecutor of others, equally +ready to sacrifice everything which he believes to stand in the way of +his Church." + +I mention this here because I should be very sorry that the feelings of +any one who may ever come to read this story of mine should be hurt, or +that it should be taken to be an attack or even an implication against a +particular form of worship. + +I knew then that although papa objected to the extreme opinions which +the Miss Harmers held, and which had been caused by the exceptional life +which they had led, still the antecedents, to which mamma alluded, could +be no question of religion. And yet the only other female at Harmer +Place was Sophy Needham, the pretty girl we so often met there. She was +an orphan village child, to whom Mr. Harmer had taken such a fancy that +he had sent her, at his own expense, to a London school, and had her +constantly staying at the house with him. But, of course, it could not +be Sophy; for I was quite sure that the fact of her having been a +village girl would not make the slightest difference in either papa's or +mamma's eyes, so far as our associating with her went; and in other +respects there could be no objection, for she was a particularly quiet, +retiring girl, and was two years older than myself. + +The objection, then, did not appear to apply to any one at Harmer Place, +and I puzzled myself in vain upon the subject; and indeed it was not for +some years afterwards that the mystery was solved, or that I found out +that it was indeed Sophy Needham to whom mamma had alluded. There is no +reason why I should make a mystery of it in this journal of mine, which +will be more easily understood by making the matter clear at once, and I +will therefore, before I go on with my own story, relate the history of +the Harmers as nearly as I can as it was told to me. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE HARMERS OF HARMER PLACE. + + +The Harmers of Harmer Place, although of ancient descent, could yet +hardly be ranked among the very old Kentish families, for they could +trace back their history very little beyond the commencement of the +reign of Queen Elizabeth, of pious and Protestant memory. About that +period it is ascertained that they were small landed proprietors, +probably half gentry, half farmers. All documentary and traditional +history goes to prove that the Harmers of those days were a stiff-necked +race, and that their consciences were by no means of the same plastic +nature as those of the great majority of their neighbours. They could +not, for the life of them, see why--because the Royal family had all of +a sudden come to the conclusion that the old Roman religion, in which +their fore-fathers had for so many centuries worshipped, was after all +wrong, that therefore the whole nation was bound to make the same +discovery at the same moment. + +So the Harmers clung to the old faith, and were looked upon with +grievous disfavour in consequence by the authorities for the time being. +Many were the domiciliary visits paid them, and grievous were the fines +inflicted upon them for nonconformity. Still, whether from information +privately sent to them previous to these researches, or whether from the +superior secrecy and snugness of their "Priest's chamber," certain it +is, that although frequently denounced and searched, no priest or +emissary of papacy was ever found concealed there; and so, although +constantly harassed and vexed, they were suffered to remain in +possession of their estate. + +As generation of Harmers succeeded generation, they continued the same +stiff-necked race, clinging to their old tenets, and hardening their +hearts to all inducements to desert them. Over and over again they went +through "troublous times," especially when those God-fearing and +enlightened Puritans domineered it over England. In after reigns +difficulties arose, but the days of persecution were over then, and they +had nothing to undergo comparable to their former trials. + +It would have been naturally supposed that as at the commencement of the +reign of Elizabeth the Harmers were by no means a wealthy race, they +would speedily have been shorn of all the little property they then +possessed. But it was not so. The more they were persecuted so much the +more they flourished, and from mere farmers they speedily rose to the +rank of county families. + +One reason, doubtless, for their immunity from more than comparatively +petty persecutions, such as fines and imprisonments, was, that the +Harmers never took any part in political affairs; neither in plots, nor +risings, nor civil wars, were they ever known actively to interfere. + +As the Harmers were in other respects an obstinate, quarrelsome race, +stubborn in will, strong in their likes and dislikes, it was singular +that they should never have actively bestirred themselves in favour of +the cause which they all had so strongly at heart. The popular belief on +the matter was, that a settled and traditional line of policy had been +recommended, and enforced upon the family, by their priests; namely, to +keep quite neutral in politics, in order that there might be at least +one house in the country--and that, from its proximity to the sea-coast, +peculiarly suitable to the purpose,--where, in cases of necessity, a +secure hiding-place could be relied on. Mother Church is very good to +her obedient children; and if the Harmers gave up their personal +feelings for her benefit, and sheltered her ministers in time of peril, +she no doubt took care that in the long run they should not be losers. +And so, while their Roman Catholic neighbours threw themselves into +plots and parties, and lost house and land, and not uncommonly life, the +Harmers rode quietly through the gale, thriving more and more under the +small persecutions they suffered for the faith's sake. And thus it +happened that going into troubles as small proprietors in the reign of +Elizabeth, they came out of them in that of George, owners of a large +estate and a rambling old mansion in every style of architecture. + +After that date, persecution having ceased, and "Priests' chambers" +being no longer useful, the Harmers ceased to enlarge their boundaries, +and lived retired lives on their property, passing a considerable +portion of their time on the Continent. + +Robert Harmer had, contrary to the usual custom of his ancestors, six +children--four sons and two daughters. Edward was, of course, intended +to inherit the family property, and was brought up in accordance with +the strictest traditions of his race; Robert was also similarly +educated, in order to be fitted to take his brother's place should +Edward not survive his father, or die leaving no heirs; Gregory was +intended for the priesthood; and Herbert, the youngest of all, was left +to take his chance in any position which the influence of his family or +Church might obtain for him. + +Herbert Harmer, however, was not so ready as the rest of his family to +submit his judgment without question to that of others; and having, when +about sixteen, had what he conceived an extremely heavy and unfair +penance imposed upon him for some trifling offence, he quitted his home, +leaving a letter behind him stating his intention of never returning to +it. Herbert Harmer was not of the stuff of which a docile son of Holy +Church is made; of a warm and affectionate disposition, and a naturally +buoyant, joyous frame of mind, the stern and repressive discipline to +which he was subjected, and the monotonous existence he led in his +father's house, seemed to him the height of misery. + +The lad, when he turned his back on home, knew little of the world. He +had lived the life almost of a recluse, never stirring beyond the +grounds of the mansion except to attend mass at the Roman Catholic +chapel at Canterbury, and this only upon grand occasions, as the family +confessor, who acted also as his tutor, resided in the village, and +ordinarily performed the service at the chapel attached to the place. + +Companions he had none. Gregory, the brother next to him in age, was +away in Italy studying for the priesthood; Cecilia and Angela he had +seen but seldom, as they also were abroad, being educated in a convent; +Edward and Robert were young men nearly ten years older than himself, +and were when at home his father's companions rather than his, and both +were of grave taciturn disposition, ascetic and bigoted even beyond the +usual Harmer type. + +Thrown therefore almost entirely upon his own resources, Herbert had +sought what companionship he best could. Books, first and best; but of +these his stock was limited. Religious and controversial treatises, +church histories, and polemical writings formed the principal part of +the library, together with a few volumes of travel and biography which +had somehow found their way there. On a library so limited as this the +boy could not employ his whole time, but had to seek amusement and +exercise out of doors, and the only companion he had there, was perhaps +of all others the very one with whom he would have been most strictly +forbidden to associate, had their intimacy been guessed at. + +Robert Althorpe was the son of a tenant on the estate, and was a man of +thirty or thereabouts. Originally a wild, reckless lad, he had, as many +an English boy has done before and since, ran away to sea, and, after +nearly fifteen years absence, had lately returned with only one arm, +having lost the other in a naval engagement. On his return he had been +received with open arms by his father, as at that time (that is, in the +year 1795) all England was wild with our naval glory. And now Robert +Althorpe passed his time, sitting by the fire smoking, or wandering +about to relate his tales of adventure among the farmhouses of the +country, at each of which he was received as a welcome guest. + +The sailor took a particular fancy to young Herbert Harmer, whose +ignorance of the world and eager desire to hear something of it, and +whose breathless attention to his yarns, amused and gratified him. On +many a summer afternoon, then, when Herbert had finished his prescribed +course of study, he would slip quietly away to meet Robert Althorpe, and +would sit for hours under the trees listening to tales of the world and +life of which he knew so little. Robert had in his period of service +seen much; for those were stirring times. He had taken part in the +victories of Howe and Jervis, and in the capture of the numerous West +Indian isles. He had fought, too, under the invincible Nelson at the +Nile, in which battle he had lost his arm. He had been stationed for two +years out on the Indian coast, and Herbert above all loved to hear of +that wonderful country, then the recent scene of the victories of Clive +and Hastings. + +When therefore he left his home, the one fixed idea in Herbert Harmer's +mind was, that first of all he would go to sea, and that then he would +some day visit India; both which resolutions he carried into effect. + +It was some ten years after, when the memory of the young brother of +whom they had seen so little had nearly faded from the minds of his +family, that a letter arrived from him, addressed to his father, but +which was opened by his brother Edward as the head of the house, the old +man having been three years before laid in the family vault. Gregory too +was dead, having died years previously of a fever contracted among the +marshes near Rome. The contents of the letter, instead of being hailed +with the delight with which news from a long lost prodigal is usually +greeted, were received with unmingled indignation and horror. + +A solemn family conclave was held in the old library, Edward Harmer at +the head of the table, Father Paul at the foot, and the contents of the +letter were taken into formal consideration. A joint answer was then +drawn up, stating the horror and indignation with which his +communication had been received--that the anathema had been passed +against him, that to them he was dead for ever, and that they regretted +that he had ever been born at all. + +All this was expressed at great length, and with that exceedingly +complicated bitterness of cursing, which is a characteristic of the +Roman Church when roused. At the end, each of the family signed his or +her name, and the priest added his, with a cross affixed there to, as a +token for ever against him. + +The contents of the letter which had caused all this commotion of +spirit, were briefly as follows. + +Herbert had gone to sea, and had for two years voyaged to different +parts of the world. At the end of that time he had arrived in India, and +there leaving his ship, had determined to cast his lot. After various +employments, he had finally obtained a situation as a clerk to a planter +up the country, whose daughter he had three years afterwards married; he +was now doing well, and hoped that his father would forgive his having +ran away from home. + +So far the letter was satisfactory enough, it was the final paragraph +which had caused the explosion of family wrath against him--namely, that +his wife was a Protestant, and that having carefully examined the Bible +with her, he had come to the conclusion that the Reformed Church more +closely carried out the precepts and teachings of that book than his +own. That he was afraid this would prove a serious annoyance to his +father; but that, as he was so far away, and should never be likely to +return to obtrude the new religion he had adopted upon them, he hoped +that it would be no bar to his continuing an amicable correspondence +with them. + +This hope was, as has been seen, not destined to be realized. The answer +was sealed and duly sent off, and henceforth Herbert Harmer, as far as +his family was concerned, ceased to have any existence. It was nearly +twenty years before they again heard of him, and then the news came that +he had returned to England, a widower, bringing his only son, a young +man of about twenty-one years old, with him; that he had purchased a +house in the neighbourhood of London, and that he did not intend to +return to India. + +Very shortly after his return, a letter from him was received by his +elder brother, but immediately it was opened, and the first line showed +from whom it came, it was closed unread, resealed, and returned to the +writer. + +During the thirty years which Herbert Harmer had been absent, the old +place had certainly not improved. Edward and Robert had both been +married, but were, like their brother, widowers. Edward never had +children. Robert had several born to him, but all had died quite young. +The sisters had remained single. + +It was a gloomy house in those days. They all lived together there. +Father Paul was long since dead, and Father Gabriel literally +reigned in his stead--a man even more gloomy and bigoted than his +predecessors--chosen probably on that account, as being in keeping with +the character of the people to whom he ministered. An unhappy family; +unhappy in their lives and dispositions, unhappy in the view they had +taken of religion and its duties, very unhappy--and this was the only +count to which they themselves would have pleaded guilty--very unhappy +because the old line of Harmer would die with them, and that there was +none of the name to inherit after them; for that Herbert the apostate +should succeed them, that a Protestant Harmer should dwell where his +Catholic ancestors had so long lived, was never even for a moment +discussed as a possibility: the very idea would have been a desecration, +at which their dead fathers would have moved in their graves. Better, a +thousand times better, that the old place should go to strangers. And so +Edward's will was made; everything was done that could be done, and they +dwelt in gloomy resignation, waiting for the end. + +That end was to come to some of them sooner than they expected. + +Edward and Robert Harmer had one interest, one worldly amusement, in +which they indulged. As young men they had been for some time together +at Genoa, and in that town of mariners they had become passionately +attached to the sea. This taste they had never lost, and they still +delighted occasionally to go out for a day's sailing, in a small +pleasure yacht, which they kept at the little fishing-village of Herne +Bay. She was an open boat, of about eight tons, and was considered a +good sea-boat for her size. In this, with two men to sail her, under the +command of an old one-armed sailor, whom they employed because he had +once lived on the estate, they would go out for hours, once a week or +so; not on fine sunny days--in them they had no pleasure--but when the +wind blew fresh, and the waves broke a tawny yellow on the sand, and the +long banks off the coast were white with foaming breakers. It was a +strange sight in such weather, to see the two men, now from fifty to +sixty years old, and very similar in face and figure, taking their +places in the stern of their little craft, while the boatmen, in their +rough-weather coats and fearnought hats, hoisted the sails and prepared +for sea. + +Very quiet they would sit, while the spray dashed over them, and the +boat tore across the surface of the water, with a smile half glad, half +defiant, on their dark features, till the one-armed captain would say, +touching his hat, "It is getting wilder, your honours; I think we had +better put about." Then they would give an assenting gesture, and the +boat's head would be turned to shore, where they would arrive, wet +through and storm-beaten, but with a deep joy in their hearts, such as +they experienced at no other time. + +But once they went out, and came back alive no more. It happened thus. +It was the 3rd of March, and the morning was overcast and dull; there +was wind, though not strong, coming in short sudden puffs, and then +dying away again. The brothers started early, and drove over, through +the village of Herne, to the little fishing-hamlet in the bay, and +stopped at the cottage of the captain, as he termed himself, of their +little yacht. The old sailor came out to the door. + +"You are not thinking of going out to-day, your honours, are you?" + +"Why not?" Edward Harmer asked; "don't you think there will be wind +enough?" + +"Aye, aye, your honour, wind enough, and more than enough before long; +there is a gale brewing up there;" and the old man shaded his eyes with +his remaining hand, and looked earnestly at the clouds. + +"Pooh, pooh, man!" Robert Harmer said; "there is no wind to speak of +yet, although I think with you that it may come on to blow as the sun +goes down. What then? It is nearly easterly, so if we sail straight out +we can always turn and run back again before the sea gets up high enough +to prevent us. You know we are always ready to return when you give the +word." + +The old sailor made no further remonstrance, but summoning the two young +men who generally accompanied them, he busied himself in carrying down +the oars, and making preparations to launch the little boat which was to +carry them to where the yacht was moored about a hundred yards out, with +many quiet disapproving shakes of his head as he did so. They were soon +in, and launched through the waves, which were breaking with a long, +heavy, menacing roar. It was not rough yet, but even in the quarter of +an hour which had elapsed between their arrival at the village, and +reaching the side of the yacht, the aspect of the weather had changed +much; the gusts of wind came more frequently, and with far greater +force, whitening the surface of the water, and tearing off the tops of +the waves in sheets of spray. The dull heavy clouds overhead were +beginning to break up suddenly, as if stirred by some mighty force +within themselves, great openings and rents seemed torn asunder in the +dark curtain, and then as suddenly closed up again; but through these +momentary openings, the scud could be seen flying rapidly past in the +higher regions of the air. + +On reaching the side of the yacht, which was rolling heavily on the +rising waves, the one-armed sailor again glanced at the brothers to see +if they noticed these ominous signs, and if they made any change in +their determination; but they gave no signs of doing so. Their faces +were both set in that expression of stern pleasure which they always +wore on occasions like this, and with another disapproving shake of his +head, even more decided than those in which he had before indulged, he +turned to assist the men in fastening the boat they had come in to the +moorings to await their return, in loosing the sails, and taking a +couple of reefs in them, and preparing for a start. + +In another five minutes the little craft was far out at sea, ploughing +her way through the ever increasing waves, dashing them aside from her +bows in sheets of spray, and leaving a broad white track behind her. + +The wind was getting up every minute, and blew with a hoarse roar across +the water. + +Before they had been gone fifteen minutes, the old sailor felt that it +was indeed madness to go farther. He saw that the force of the wind was +already more than the boat could bear, and was momentarily increasing, +and that the sea was fast getting up under its power. + +But as his counsel had been already once disregarded, he determined to +let the first order for return come from the brothers, and he glanced +for a moment from the sails and the sea to the two men sitting beside +him. There was no thought of turning back there. Their lips were hard +set, yet half smiling; their eyes wide open, as if to take in the +tumultuous joy of the scene; their hands lay clenched on their knees. +They had evidently no thought of danger, no thought of anything but +deep, wild pleasure. + +The old sailor bit his lips. He looked again over the sea, he looked at +the sails, and at the lads crouched down in the bow with consternation +strongly expressed on their faces; he glanced at the dark green water, +rushing past the side, and sometimes as she lay over combing in over the +gunwale; he felt the boat quiver under the shock as each succeeding wave +struck her, and he knew she could bear no more. He therefore again +turned round to the impassive figures beside him, and made his usual +speech. + +"Your honours, it is time to go about." + +But this time so absorbed were they in their sensations, that they did +not hear him, and he had to touch them to attract their notice, and to +shout in their ears, "Your honours, we must go about." + +They started at the touch, and rose like men waked suddenly from a +dream. They cast a glance round, and seemed to take in for the first +time the real state of things, the raging wind, the flying scud, the +waves which rose round the boat, and struck her with a force that +threatened to break her into fragments. And then Edward said, "Yes! by +all means, if indeed it is not already too late. God forgive us for +bringing you out into it; _peccavi, culpa mea_." And then the brothers, +influenced not by fear for themselves, but for the lives of those whom +they had brought into danger, commenced rapidly uttering, in a low +voice, the prayers of their Church for those in peril. + +The prayer was never to be finished. The men sprang with alacrity to the +ropes when the order was given, "Prepare to go about;" but whether their +fingers were numb, or what it was which went wrong, no one will ever +know. The boat obeyed her rudder, and came up into the wind. There was a +momentary lull, and then as her head payed round towards the shore, a +fresh gust struck her with even greater force than ever. Some rope +refused to run, it was but for an instant, but that instant sealed the +fate of the boat; over she lay till her sail all but touched the water, +and the sea poured in over her side. For a moment she seemed to try to +recover herself, and then a wild cry went up to heaven, and the boat lay +bottom upwards in the trough of the waves. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +"L'HOMME PROPOSE, DIEU DISPOSE." + + +Mr. Herbert Harmer was sitting at breakfast reading the _Times_,--a +tall, slight man, of from forty-five to fifty, with a benevolent +expressive face, very sunburnt; a broad forehead, a well-defined mouth, +and a soft, thoughtful eye--careless as to attire, as most Anglo-Indians +are, and yet, in appearance as in manner, an unmistakable gentleman. + +Opposite to him sat his son, good-looking, but not so prepossessing a +man as his father. He was about twenty-two, and looked, contrary to what +might have been expected from his birth and bringing up in a hot +climate, younger than he really was. His complexion was very fair, an +inheritance probably from his mother, as all the Harmers were dark: his +face, too, was much less bronzed than his father's, the year he had +spent in England having nearly effaced the effects of the Indian sun. He +was of about middle height, and well formed; but he had a languid, +listless air, which detracted much from the manliness of his appearance. +His face was a good-looking, almost a handsome one, and yet it gave the +impression of there being something wanting. That something was +character. The mouth and chin were weak and indecisive--not absolutely +bad, only weak,--but it was sufficient to mar the general effect of his +face. + +He was toying with a spoon, balancing it on the edge of an empty coffee +cup, when a sudden exclamation from his father startled him, and the +spoon fell with a crash. + +"What is the matter?" + +Mr. Harmer gave no answer for some time, but continued to read in +silence the paragraph which had so strangely excited him. He presently +laid the paper down on his knees, seemed lost for some time in deep +thought, and then took out his handkerchief and blew his nose violently. + +"My dear father," the young man said, for once fairly roused by all this +emotion and mystery, "what in the name of goodness is the matter? You +quite alarm me. The bank has not broken, has it? or anything terrible +happened?" + +"A very sad affair, Gerald; a very sad affair. Your uncles are both +drowned." + +"By Jove!" + +This being the only appropriate remark that occurred to Gerald Harmer, +there was silence again; and then, seeing that his father was not +disposed to say more, the young man stretched out his hand for the +paper, and read the paragraph which contained the intelligence. + + "APPALLING ACCIDENT ON THE KENTISH COAST.--The neighbourhood + of Canterbury has been thrown into a state of consternation by + an accident which has deprived one of the oldest and most + highly-respected families in the county of its heads. The two + Messrs. Harmer, of Harmer Place, near Canterbury, had rashly + ventured out from Herne Bay, with three boatmen, in a small + yacht belonging to them, just before the awful tempest, which + while we write is still raging, broke upon the coast. The storm + came on so rapidly that it is supposed that they were unable to + return. At present nothing certain is known concerning the + catastrophe; but late in the afternoon, a small black object + was observed by one of the Whitstable coast-guard men, drifting + past at a considerable distance from shore. A telescope being + brought to bear upon it, it was at once seen to be either a + large spar or a boat bottom upwards, with a human figure still + clinging to it. In spite of the fury of the gale, a band of + noble fellows put off in one of the large fishing-boats, and + succeeded in bringing off the only survivor of the five men who + had embarked in the ill-fated craft. He proved to be the sailor + who generally managed Mr. Harmer's little yacht. He is a + one-armed man, and this fact, singularly enough, was the means + of his life being saved; for he had succeeded in fastening the + hook at the end of his wooden arm so firmly in the keel of the + yacht, that, even after his strength had failed, and he could + no longer have clung on, this singular contrivance remained + secure, and kept him in his place, in spite of all the violence + of the waves. He was nearly insensible when first rescued, and + still lies in a precarious state, and has not yet been able to + give any details of the mournful catastrophe. The bodies of the + elder Mr. Harmer, and of one of the boatmen, were washed ashore + this morning, and experienced sailors anticipate that the + remaining bodies will come ashore with this evening's tide. + Several men are on the look-out for them. The Harmers of Harmer + Place are one of the oldest of the Kentish families, and were + strict adherents to the Romish persuasion. It is believed that + no male heir remains, and it is confidently stated that the + large property will go eventually towards the aggrandisement of + the Church to which they belonged." + +"Is that last part true?" Gerald asked. "Do we get the property, or does +it go to the priests?" + +"We shall have none of it, Gerald: of that you may be quite sure. The +priests have taken good care of that point. They would never allow the +property to fall into Protestant hands if they could help it; and my +poor brothers were, as far as I can hear, mere puppets in their hands. +No, there is not the least chance of that. I do not say that it would +not have been useful had it been otherwise; for, as you know, owing to +the troubles and riots I lost a good deal of money the last three years +we were in India; and although I have enough left for us to live upon +comfortably, Harmer Place would have been no bad addition. However, that +was not to be. I have always known that there was not be the slightest +probability of such a thing, so I shall feel no disappointment about the +matter." + +"Do you mean to go down to the funeral?" Gerald asked. + +"Yes. Yes, I shall go, certainly. My poor brothers and I have never been +friends; have not seen each other for thirty years; indeed, even as a +boy I saw next to nothing of them; however, the least I can do is to +follow them to the grave. I shall go down to-morrow." After a pause, Mr. +Harmer added, "I shall get Ransome to go down with me to be present at +the reading of the will. I know it is of no use, as everything is sure +to be done in legal form; still, as I have no desire to lose even the +remotest chance of saving from the priests a property that has been in +the hands of the family for centuries, I will take every possible +precaution. I shall therefore take Ransome down with me. I think you may +as well stay here until I return: it will be a painful and unpleasant +business." + +Gerald had not the least wish to go. "He saw no advantage in putting +himself in the way of being snubbed, perhaps insulted, and only to see a +fine property that ought to come to them handed over to found +monasteries and convents." + +So on the next morning Herbert Harmer, or Mr. Harmer, as he should now +be called, took his seat on the top of the Canterbury coach, with Mr. +Ransome, his solicitor, a shrewd man of business, beside him. + +It was late in the evening when the coach drew up at the "Fountain," at +that time one of the most famous posting-inns in England. + +"You stop here to-night, gentlemen?" the landlord asked. + +"This gentleman will stop here," Mr. Harmer answered. "I want a +conveyance in half an hour's time to take me on to Harmer Place." + +The two gentlemen entered the hotel, and had some dinner, and then when +the vehicle which was to convey him was announced to be in readiness, +Mr. Harmer prepared to start, saying, "I am afraid I shall meet no warm +welcome, Ransome. I think you may as well order a bed-room for me; very +likely I shall return here to-night. If I do not, come over early +to-morrow morning." + +Mr. Harmer leaned gloomily back in the carriage as it passed out through +the town on to the road to Sturry, and mused sadly about old times. How +different, and yet in some respects how similar, was his position now to +what it was when he last trod that road thirty years back. Then, no one +had loved him; his absence would be little missed, and even less +regretted. And now, when he returned to his old home after so long an +absence, he could assuredly expect to be received with no pleasure, with +no warm welcome. His sisters he remembered but faintly; he had not seen +them more than three or four times, and they were then slim, pale girls, +unnaturally constrained in manner, with thin pinched lips and downcast +eyes. It was a short drive: in a quarter of an hour or so they passed +through the lodge-gates, the gravel crunched under the wheels for +another minute or two, and then there was a stop. Mr. Harmer alighted. +The front of the house was dark, not a single light gleamed in any of +the windows, all was hushed and quiet. He pulled at the great bell; it +sounded with a loud empty clang, which seemed to grate unnaturally in +the still night air. + +"Stop here," he said to the driver. "I may return in a quarter of an +hour." + +The door was opened and a faint light streamed out. "Who is it?" a voice +asked. + +"Mr. Herbert Harmer," he said, entering. There was a slight exclamation +of astonishment, and then the door closed behind him. Mr. Harmer looked +round; the old hall, seen by the faint light which the servant carried +in his hand, was even blacker and more gloomy than he remembered it as a +boy. He followed the man, who in silence led the way across it to a +small sitting-room, and who, lighting some candles standing on the +mantlepiece, then withdrew, saying he would inform his mistresses that +Mr. Harmer was here. + +It was some minutes before Herbert Harmer heard any other sound than the +ticking of a clock against the wall, then the door opened and his two +sisters entered, not quite so tall as he had expected to see them, not +perhaps so old, and yet with faces which disappointed him, faces which +no human love had ever brightened, no loving fingers caressingly +stroked, no lover's lips ever kissed. Faces expressing an abnegation of +self, indeed, but without that love and charity for others which should +have taken the place of self. Faces thin and pale, as by long vigil and +fasting; and eyes which seemed at times to reach your very thoughts, and +then to droop to avoid the answering glance which might seek to fathom +theirs. Habitually, perhaps from a long residence in convents abroad, +their heads were slightly bent, and their eyes fixed on the ground, +while their arms lay usually folded one on the other. Both were singular +instances of the manner in which natures, naturally fiery and wilful, +can be completely subdued and kept down by severe discipline and long +training, and of how a warm and perhaps affectionate disposition can be +warped and constrained by the iron trammels of an ascetic and joyless +life. + +When they had entered and the door was closed, they stood side by side +in exactly the same attitude, apparently not looking at their brother, +but waiting for him to speak. As he did not, Cecilia the eldest broke +the silence in a harsh, monotonous voice, speaking like one who has +learnt a lesson, and who only delivers what she has got by rote. + +"So you have come back at last, Herbert Harmer, to the house you have +disgraced, to the home you have forfeited. We expected you; what would +you have?" + +"Nothing," Mr. Harmer answered. "I want nothing; I am come only to +attend the funeral of my dead brothers." + +"And would you, Herbert Harmer--apostate to the faith of your +ancestors--would you dare to follow those who died faithful to their +God? They cast you off in their life, and their dead bodies would bleed +if you approached them." + +"Cecilia," Mr. Harmer said, much shocked, "to what end these useless +recriminations? I have trodden my path; those who are gone have followed +theirs. We shall each answer before our Maker. Why should we make +earthly quarrels about heavenly matters? Rather let us be friends, let +us forget the long unfortunate past, let us be as brother and sisters to +each other, and let me try to fill to you the place of those who are +gone." + +For the space of a minute there was no answer, and then the elder sister +again spoke, but in a changed tone, and a voice in which some natural +feeling struggled. + +"It cannot be, Herbert. We have chosen, as you say, opposite paths, and +we must keep them to the end. I do not--we do not--wish to think +unkindly of you; we will try and forget what cause we have for doing so. +Even you must feel sorrow to know that the old walls which have held the +Harmers so long, will, at our death, hold them no longer. For I tell +you, brother, that it will be so. He who has gone has left us a life +interest in part of the property, as trustees only for the good cause, +and at our death it all goes to support the glory and power of the true +Church. I tell you this that you may cherish no false hopes of what is +not to be." + +"I did not, sister. Knowing the Harmers as I know them, I was sure that +neither I nor mine would ever dwell here. Still, I owe it to myself and +my son to be present when that will is read. It is better to know for +certain that the matter is final and irrevocable." + +"The will will be opened and read after the funeral, which will take +place at half-past eleven to-morrow. You are perfectly welcome to be +present: indeed, it is better so." + +"I have my legal adviser with me; I should wish him to accompany me." + +"Certainly; he will see that everything has been done in perfectly legal +form. Is there anything else you would say?" + +"Nothing," Mr. Harmer said; and preparing to take leave, he approached +the door, near which they were standing. He stopped before them, and +then, with a sudden impulse, held out a hand to each. + +"Oh, sisters, why should this be? Why, after so many years, should we +meet and part thus? Can we not be friends? Can we not yet love each +other? Can we not be happy together, and worship God in our own ways?" + +Touched by the voice and manner, and by the warm, loving tone--such as +for years had not fallen upon their ears--perhaps at that moment, for +nearly the first time in their lives, they obtained a glimpse of what +life might have been to them, but was not and now never could be; the +floodgates of the hearts of those two cold, self-restrained women were +all at once broken down, as never before they had been, and, with a +passion of tears, they threw themselves simultaneously on their +brother's neck. + +It was not for long. Training and habit soon reasserted their power, and +they stood before him again, calm, but still tearful and shaken. + +"We have been wrong, brother; but no, not so. It has been good for us to +have met you. I believe you to be a good man. I believe now that you are +sincere, although grievously mistaken. If, as will probably be the case, +after to-morrow we should not see you again--for our present intention +is at once to retire from the world--we shall always think of you with +kindness, as of the only being in it in whom we have an interest; we +shall remember you with prayers to God, that you may yet see your errors +and be saved; and now, good-bye." + +"I shall see you to-morrow?" Mr. Harmer asked. + +"Yes, after the funeral." And they were gone. + +Mr. Harmer again took his place in the carriage, and returned sad and +thoughtful to Canterbury. + +At a quarter after eleven the next day, Mr. Harmer and his solicitor +alighted from a carriage at the lodge gates, and, sending the vehicle +back to the town, entered the grounds. + +"I think you were wrong to come so early, Ransome. The service will last +at least two hours. You had much better have taken my advice, and come +on by yourself later." + +"I shall do very well, Mr. Harmer. I can walk about the grounds. I see +there are a good many people about, and I am sure to find some one to +talk to till it is time for me to come in." + +There were several other persons walking the same way as themselves +towards the house; but they presently met a man coming in the opposite +direction,--an old man, in a rough sailor's suit, with only one arm. +When he came up to them he stopped, looked Mr. Harmer full in the face, +and then took off his hat, saying, "God bless your honour! it's many a +long year since I saw you. Do you not remember Robert Althorpe?" + +"Bless me!" Mr. Harmer exclaimed, shaking the old sailor warmly by the +hand. "I am indeed glad to see you, old friend. This, Mr. Ransome, is a +very old friend of mine; I may say the first I ever had. So you are +still here?" + +"Aye, aye, your honour; but I live at Herne now. I came over here late +last night, and heard you had been up at the house in the evening; so I +thought you would be coming to the funeral this morning, and made bold +to wait here in hopes of seeing you." + +"You did quite right, and I am very glad that I met you. But there, the +time is getting on, and I must not wait. Come down to the 'Fountain' +this afternoon, and ask for me; we must have a long talk over old times, +and I will see what can be done to make you comfortable for the future. +This is a dreadful business," he added, as he turned to go up to the +house. + +"Aye, your honour, it is. God knows, I would have saved them if I +could." + +"You!" Mr. Harmer said, stopping suddenly. "What, were you with them? I +remember now that the account said it was a one-armed sailor, but of +course I never thought for a moment of its being you." + +"Aye, your honour, it were me sure enough; but don't let me keep you +now. I will tell you the whole yarn this afternoon." + +Mr. Harmer walked away leaving the old sailor with the solicitor, who +had, from the instant when the man said he had been present at the +accident, regarded him with the most lively interest. + +"So you were there, my man," he said. "Well, the day is very cold, I +have some time to wait, and I daresay you have nothing particular to do, +so walk down with me to the village; we shall be able, I have no doubt, +to get a snug room with a good fire, and you shall tell me the whole +story over a glass of grog." + +When Mr. Harmer entered the house, he found the hall, and indeed the +whole dwelling, thronged with the priests and assistants of the Romish +Church, in the full robes of their office. All seemed engaged, and no +one paid much attention to him. In a few minutes a procession was +formed; in the rear of this he took his place, and it then moved with +low chanting through the long passages of the house to the chapel which +adjoined, and indeed formed part of it. Herbert Harmer followed +mechanically, mechanically he took the place assigned to him there, and +listened to the solemn service. As in a dream he saw the chapel hung +with black, and the catafalque containing the coffins of his dead +brothers, and the two black figures kneeling beside them; as if it were +some strange thing in which he had no part or share. His thoughts went +far back, through long years, to the time when he had last heard those +solemn chants and smelt the faint odour of the incense, the tears welled +up in his eyes, and his thoughts were still of the days of his +childhood, when a stir around him roused him, and he saw that the +service was over. In a few minutes the chapel was emptied, and all +returned into the dwelling. Here a servant informed him that a gentleman +was awaiting him in the library. Opening the door, he beckoned to Mr. +Ransome to follow him, and together they went into the drawing-room. +Here he found his sisters, and several of the higher clergy who had +assisted at the ceremonial, assembled. + +On his entrance his sisters rose to meet him, and greeted him with +formal ceremony; but Mr. Harmer thought that, under their impassive +exterior, he could perceive that they were much moved; and that, +although thoroughly agreeing as they did in the propriety and justice of +the deed, they were yet sorry at heart for the coming sentence which was +to cut off their only surviving brother from all share in the old family +property. Miss Harmer then shortly introduced her brother to those +present, who received him courteously, being far too well bred men of +the world to betray the least exultation over a conquered enemy who +could no longer be dangerous, and towards whom, therefore, a generous +magnanimity might be safely displayed. + +A few general remarks suitable to the occasion were exchanged, and then +at a sign from Miss Harmer, all took seats round the room, and a quiet +business-looking man, evidently a solicitor, approached the table with a +legal document in his hand. It was the will of the late Edward Harmer, +which he opened and proceeded to read. Divested of all legal +technicalities, the contents were briefly as follows:-- + +After leaving his sisters a life interest in a considerable sum, he +bequeathed the whole remainder to his brother Robert. In the event, +however, of Robert not surviving him, he ordered that the estate should +be sold, and that the proceeds, together with all other property +whatsoever of which he should be possessed--and the amount was large, as +the Harmers had not for years lived up to their income--should be paid +into the hands of two well-known dignitaries of the Roman Catholic +Church, to be expended by them in accordance with an enclosed document. + +When the lawyer had finished, he folded up the will, and, addressing Mr. +Harman, said,-- + +"Have you any question you would like to ask? If so I shall be happy to +answer you. This will was drawn up by me some years since at the request +of the testator, who was in good health, mentally and bodily. I was +myself one of the witnesses of his signature; the other witness can be +produced." + +"I have no question to ask," Mr. Harmer said, gravely; "the contents of +the will are precisely such as I had anticipated they would be." + +There was a pause, and the lawyer remarked,-- + +"In that case I do not know that there is anything further to be said at +present." + +Mr. Harmer turned towards his sister with the intention of saying +farewell, when he was surprised by Mr. Ransome stepping forward and +saying-- + +"I have a remark or two to make on behalf of Mr. Harmer in reference to +the document which has just been read." + +There was a little movement of surprise, Mr. Harmer being more +astonished than any one present, and all listened with anxiety for what +was to follow. + +"I admit on behalf of Mr. Harmer that the document which has just been +read is the last testament of the late Mr. Edward Harmer; of that no +question can I suppose arise. By the terms of that will he bequeathes +the whole of his property to his brother Robert, subject to the payment +of the legacies to the Misses Harmer. In the event of Robert not +surviving him, he makes other dispositions of his property. These it is +not necessary to enter into, as that contingency has not arisen. For, +gentlemen, I am in a position to prove to you that Mr. Robert Harmer did +survive his brother; he, therefore, under the will, came into possession +of the property, and as Mr. Robert Harmer has unfortunately died +intestate, at least so I presume, Mr. Herbert Harmer, as heir-at-law, of +course inherits the estate." + +As Mr. Ransome spoke he moved to the door, opened it and called to some +one who was waiting in the hall, and Robert Althorpe entered with his +hat in his hand. No one moved, no one spoke, a stupor of blank dismay +had fallen upon all present. Their faces, which when the will was read, +were bright with irrepressible exultation, now expressed the deepest +consternation. They could hardly believe that the prize which they had +made so sure of was about to be snatched from their grasp. + +"This," Mr. Ransome said, "is Robert Althorpe, the sailor who had charge +of the little yacht belonging to the late Mr. Harmer, and who was the +sole survivor of those who embarked in her. Miss Harmer knows that this +is correct. Be so good, my man, will you, as to tell these ladies and +gentlemen what you told me relative to the death of the Mr. Harmers. + +"Well ladies, and your honours," the sailor said, "when I felt the boat +go over I stuck to her, and never left go. I soon got my head above +water, and clambered on to her bottom. I had hardly got my breath, +before I saw a head come out of the water close by me. I held on to the +keel with my hook, leaned over, and caught him by the hair, and helped +him on to the boat beside me. That was Mr. Robert Harmer. I looked round +again, and thought I saw an arm come up for a moment, but that was all I +saw of any of them, and I don't think one of them ever came up after she +upset. Mr. Robert Harmer was very weak, but he clung with me for nigh +ten minutes, sometimes washed nearly off, and getting weaker and weaker +every minute, and I saw he could not last long. We did not speak, the +waves and the wind were too high, and we were half the time under water; +but I could see the poor gentleman was praying very hard. At last a big +wave came over all, and nearly carried me off, and I had a hard fight to +get back again. When I had time to look round, Mr. Robert Harmer was +gone, and that was the last I ever saw of him. Which I am ready to take +my davy." + +When the sailor had done there was another long silence, and then Mr. +Ransome said,-- + +"This, gentlemen, is perfectly conclusive proof that Mr. Robert Harmer +survived his brother, and would be held so in any court of law. It is, I +have no question, a surprise to you, as it is to my client, Mr. Harmer; +indeed, it is only within the last hour that I have been put in +possession of the fact; I am sure, therefore, that Mr. Harmer will not +wish to force upon you any sudden decision; but I would submit to you +that no question can arise either in the point of law or fact. I would +suggest to him that he should retire for an hour and then return for +your answer. In the meantime, merely as a matter of form, I have placed +a person in the hall to keep possession of the place in the name of Mr. +Herbert Harmer, as heir-at-law to his brother the late Mr. Robert +Harmer. The sailor will remain here, and you can interrogate him further +on the subject." + +So saying, and bowing to those present, who had not yet recovered +sufficiently from their dismay to utter a word, he took the almost +stupefied Mr. Harmer by the arm and left the room. + +After they had gone there was a long and animated debate; but the +conclusion at which they most reluctantly arrived, under the advice of +the lawyer who had drawn up the will, was, that there was at present +nothing to do, but to leave Mr. Herbert Harmer in possession, and then, +if upon deliberation and further advice it should be thought right to +bring the case to trial, to do so. And so they all went away, and Mr. +Harmer took possession of the home of his father; but not immediately, +for his sisters asked him to leave them a week to make their +arrangements. He begged them to stay there as long as they wished, and +indeed pressed them to make it their home. This, however, they refused +to do. By the will of their brother they were amply provided for, and +they intended to travel, and perhaps finally to enter a religious house +on the Continent. + +So in a week the old house was empty, and Herbert Harmer entered it as +undisputed master. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE LAST OF THE HARMERS. + + +And so in spite of all human precautions and care, the property of the +old Roman Catholic family was not disposed of for the benefit and glory +of Mother Church; but passed into the hands of the Protestant and +apostate younger brother, under whose ownership and care it changed not +a little. + +Not externally; there no great alteration was possible, unless the whole +place had been pulled down and rebuilt, but the thick trees which had +crowded it in, and made it dark and gloomy, were thinned out, so that +the air and light could come in upon it; bright flower-beds took the +place of the masses of shrubbery on the lawn in front, and as far as +could be done, the whole place was cleared and brightened. Inside, much +greater changes were made--there, indeed, the old house was completely +remodelled, new paper, new paint, new furniture and fittings of every +description. Modern windows were put in where practicable, that is, +wherever they could be inserted without violent incongruity with the +style of architecture; part of the house indeed--that part containing +the principal apartments--was entirely modernized, party walls were +pulled away, small rooms thrown into large ones, the ceilings and roofs +raised, bow windows thrown out, and a bright, cheerful air given to it. + +In the chapel adjoining the house great alterations were made. Coloured +glass windows took the place of the plain ones formerly there; these had +been inserted after a visit of inspection paid by a party of Puritan +cavalry, who, not having succeeded in finding the man of Belial of whom +they were in search, consoled themselves under their disappointment by +the holy amusement of smashing the beautiful stained-glass windows, and +destroying the decoration and carvings of the little chapel. The seats +were now removed, and the shrines, hangings, pictures, and other emblems +of the Romish Church were taken down. The grand stone altar was +retained, and a large cross in black marble was placed over it, taking +the place of the wooden crucifix which had so long hung there. At the +foot of the steps leading up to the altar, and where they had so often +knelt in prayer, a beautiful monument of white marble was erected to the +dead brothers, on which the sun threw strange, solemn lights as it +streamed in through the coloured windows. + +All these changes and alterations were carried on under the personal +care and inspection of Mr. Harmer, who, with his son, came down at once +to Canterbury, taking up their residence for the first two months at the +"Fountain," but spending most of their time over at the "Place." And +although when masons and decorators once take possession of a house they +generally contrive to make their stay nearly interminable, yet, money, +energy, and personal supervision will occasionally work wonders, and in +this case, in three months after taking possession--that is, by the end +of June--Mr. Harmer had the satisfaction of seeing the work completed, +and the little army of men engaged upon it fairly out of the house. + +As soon as they had gone into residence, the neighbouring gentry called +almost in a body. To them it possessed the charm of a new discovery; +they knew the place existed, but all they had seen of it was the lodge +gate, and the twisted chimneys of the house as they rose among the trees +which shut it in from the view; that was all. They hardly knew what it +was like, even from tradition; neither their fathers or grandfathers had +ever called there; not that the religion of its owner had constituted +any serious objection to their so doing, but the Harmers led too +secluded and recluse a life to care about knowing any one. With only a +very few among the county families of their own creed had they any +visiting acquaintance whatever, and this was confined to an exchange of +formal calls, or of stately dinners once or so in the course of a year. +Their only intimate acquaintances were chosen among foreigners, +ecclesiastics or others, generally Italian, whom they had known during +their long absences on the Continent; of these there had been usually +one or two staying in the house when the family were at home; beyond +this they had no friends. But now all this was to change, and the +carriages of the neighbouring gentry dashed in quick succession up the +drive where once the green moss had grown undisturbed, and gay talk and +merry laughter were heard where formerly silence had reigned almost +unbroken. + +The visits afforded great satisfaction to those who paid them. The +father and son were both much liked, and pronounced great acquisitions +to the county society. + +These visits were shortly returned, and invitations to dinner speedily +followed. But not to dinner-parties alone was the festivity confined; +picnics were got up, balls given, and it was unanimously agreed for once +to overlook the fact that there was no lady head to Harmer Place, but +that mothers and daughters should accept Mr. Harmer's lavish hospitality +regardless of that fact. Indeed, the Harmers' accession to the property +gave rise to a series of feasting and festivity such as had not been +known in that part of the county for years previously. + +Into all this Mr. Harmer entered with a fresh pleasure, and a frank +joyous spirit which charmed and attracted all. With the ladies he was an +especial favourite; to them his manners and address were so singularly +different to those of the men with whom they were accustomed to +associate, that they could not fail to be greatly impressed by it. +Herbert Harmer had seen little or nothing of women, for--with the +exception only of his wife, who had always been a great invalid, and +whom he had nursed for years with almost devotional care and +kindness--he had been thrown in contact with very few English women, and +he regarded the whole sex with an almost chivalrous devotion and respect +which in a man of his age was very strange and touching. Although a very +well-read man--for in his distant home he had kept himself well supplied +with the current English literature, and with scientific works of every +description--he knew very little of real life. Of commanding intellect, +had he been placed in different circumstances where his mind could have +had fair scope for its exercise, Herbert Harmer would have made a +conspicuous figure for himself; as it was, although all found in him a +charming companion and a sympathizer in their various tastes, few would +have suspected how great were the stores of knowledge which the +simple-hearted childlike man had stored up in all those years of +solitary reading. + +It was this general sympathy for the tastes of others, together with the +reverence for the sex, which led him to treat the young girl of +seventeen with a deference not inferior to that which he would have +exhibited for her white-haired grandmother, which made him so +universally liked by women; and had Herbert Harmer, although a man of +forty-seven, and looking older than he was, wished to marry again, he +might have nearly taken his choice among the fair young Kentish maidens +who surrounded him. + +Women, especially young women, appreciate a character such as this far +better than men can do. Their purity of heart recognizes instinctively +its goodness and childlike wisdom; and very many would own to themselves +that, without entertaining any passionate love for him, they could yet +entrust their happiness to such a one with a confidence far more serene +and implicit than that which they would experience in the case of a +younger man. + +Perhaps a thought as to the possibility of Mr. Harmer marrying again may +have entered into the calculations of some of the matrons with grown-up +families, and who would not have unwillingly have seen one of their +daughters holding sway as mistress at Harmer Place. But if so, it was +not for long; for Mr. Harmer, upon one occasion--when the possibility of +such an event as a new mistress for his house being forthcoming when the +alterations were completed, was laughingly suggested--resented the idea +in quite a serious manner. From this it was quite evident that the +future mistress of Harmer Place, whomsoever she might be, would enter it +as the wife of Gerald rather than of Herbert Harmer. + +Gerald was by no means so great a favourite as his father; nor, although +he earnestly desired to be popular, could he altogether succeed in his +object. He could not overcome the listless manner which his long +residence in India had rendered part of his nature; he could not acquire +an interest in all the chit-chat and gossip of country society, or +manifest more than a most languid interest in the agricultural +conversations and disquisitions which formed the large staple of the +country gentleman's talk. Of the price of corn he knew nothing. Malt and +hops were mysteries, into which, beyond drinking the resulting compound, +he had no desire to penetrate. And yet he was a sensible, good-hearted +young fellow enough. His misfortune was that he had not strength of mind +to adapt himself to the life and people he was thrown among. + +Mr. Harmer was extremely anxious that his son should marry early and +well; not well in a worldly point of view, but to some true woman, to +whom he could look up, and who would in time correct the faults of his +character. Those faults his father saw and understood; and he feared +much that his weak and facile disposition would render him liable to +fall into serious errors and faults, and would be not unlikely to lead +him to be entrapped into some hasty marriage, the evil consequences of +which might be incalculable to him. Mr. Harmer therefore watched with +anxiety to see to which, among the various young girls of the +neighbourhood, Gerald was most attracted, and at first he gave his +father some little trouble. New to female society, it possessed an +infinite charm to him; but he seemed to admire too generally to devote +himself to any one in particular, and although he at once commenced a +series of active flirtations, he appeared quite unable to single out any +one for especial preference. _Les absents ont toujours tort_; and the +converse of the proverb seemed to him to be equally true--the present +are always right. Whosoever might chance to be in his society would +assuredly, for the time being, appear to approach the nearest to +perfection. Gerald Harmer was certainly a much greater favourite with +the girls than he was with their fathers and brothers. That languid, +indolent way of his, as if he rather thought that it was the duty of +other people to devote themselves to his amusement, and which made the +men vote him a puppy, was to them quite new and very amusing. Girls, +too, rather like occasionally reversing positions, and bestowing homage +instead of receiving it; and so the lively country girls enjoyed these +languid flirtations with Gerald, and entered into them with great +spirit, laughing in their sleeves, perhaps, at him while they did so, +and not being in the least likely to become the victims of any very +ardent passion. + +When the shooting season commenced, however, a great change came over +him, for he threw himself into the sport with an ardour that astonished +his father. At last he really seemed to have found something worth +caring for, and in a short time, by his devotion for field sports, he +rose many degrees in the estimation of the young squires, who agreed +that Gerald Harmer had turned out a capital fellow after all, in spite +of his airs and nonsense. It is probable that he sank in the sisters' +estimation as he rose in the brothers', for he now no longer cared for +female society, and spent the whole of his time either in shooting over +his own or other estates, with parties of their young owners, or +sometimes alone, with no other companion than Long William, the +keeper--or else in hunting, to which also he took with great ardour. His +sporting tastes rapidly developed; dogs, horses, and guns occupied his +whole thoughts; and few would have recognized in the figure in +shooting-jacket and gaiters, returning splashed to the head, after a +hard day's work, the indolent lounger who had considered it almost too +great a trouble to think for himself. His father observed this change +with pleasure, as he had noticed with pain his son's increasing +listlessness, although he was personally a loser by it; for Gerald had +been hitherto his constant companion in his walks over his estate, and +his visits of kindness at his labourers' cottages, which, under his +care, assumed a very different and far more comfortable aspect than that +which they had worn under the old _regime_. Still, he felt that it might +do him much good; he thought it natural that the young man should be +fond of sport, and should seek the companionship of men of his own age; +and though he missed the former familiar intercourse with his son, he +assented with a little sigh of regret to the new state of things, and +told himself that it was much better so, and was very right and proper. +Even of an evening it was seldom now that Gerald accompanied his father +to the houses of the neighbouring gentry, always pleading fatigue, or +some other excuse, for not doing so. On these occasions, when his father +had started alone, he would be sure to find some pretext, some forgotten +order, or question which must be asked, as a reason for strolling down +in the course of the evening to smoke a pipe with his inseparable ally, +Long William, the keeper. + +Of this his father of course knew nothing; but the people of the village +soon noticed these visits, and shook their heads when they saw the young +squire go in at the cottage door, for William's character stood by no +means high, and such companionship could do no good. Sometimes, too, +Long William would not have returned from his duties when Gerald +sauntered down, and then the task of entertaining him till his return +would fall on William's pretty sister, Madge, who kept house for her +brother. Altogether it would have been far better for Gerald to have +accompanied his father, than to spend the evening sitting there smoking, +and occasionally drinking; not truly that he was fond of drink for its +own sake, but as he felt obliged to send Long William out for a bottle +of spirits, he felt equally bound to keep him in countenance while he +drank it. + +So things went on into the spring, and then the shooting and hunting +being over, Gerald, to his father's great annoyance, subsided into his +former listless state; indeed, into a much worse condition than he was +in before. He no longer was Mr. Harmer's companion in his rambles over +the estate; he took no interest in his plans for the improvement of the +houses of their poorer neighbours; he had no pleasure in society, which +before he had so enjoyed; indeed, so entirely without aim or object did +his life seem to have become, that Mr. Harmer felt that some change was +absolutely necessary for him, and proposed to him that he should go for +a few months' ramble on the Continent. + +This proposition Gerald embraced with eagerness, and in a few days +started on his tour. + +Mr. Harmer had at first thought of accompanying him, but finally decided +against doing so, as he judged it better that Gerald should have to +think and act entirely for himself; for being forced to do this, and to +make new acquaintances and friends--which in travelling he could only do +by exerting himself to be agreeable--he would be far more likely to +shake off his listless apathy, than if he had some one ever with him, to +arrange matters, and take all necessity of thought or exertion off his +hands. + +And so Gerald went alone, and, as far as could be gleaned from his +letters, he certainly seemed improving. At first he wrote without much +interest in what he saw, but gradually the tone of his letters became +more healthy, and when he reached Switzerland, he wrote in quite +enthusiastic terms. He had joined a party who intended to stay there two +or three months, and thoroughly wander over the various lakes and +valleys of that lovely country. He enjoyed the life immensely, was +becoming a first-rate mountaineer, and altogether he appeared to have +entirely recovered his life and spirits. + +Mr. Harmer remained quietly at home, passing his time between his books, +the management of his estates, and the pleasures of social intercourse +with his neighbours; and few days passed without his riding out into the +country, or into Canterbury, for a visit to some among them. + +Everywhere he continued to gain golden opinions, and became so popular +that he was requested to allow himself to be put in nomination as member +for that division of the county at the next election. This offer, +although very gratifying, Mr. Harmer declined. He was very happy and +contented with his present mode of life, and had not the least wish to +take upon himself the care and responsibility of a seat in Parliament. + +In autumn, soon after the shooting began, Gerald returned, looking +sunburnt and healthy; full of life and of his adventures and travels, +and, seemingly, permanently cured of his listless, indolent ways. His +father was much pleased with the change, and was now quite satisfied +with him; and yet at times he fancied--but it might be only fancy--that +in the pauses of conversation he would fall into short reveries of +something unpleasant; a quick, gloomy, anxious look seemed to pass +across his face, and although it would be instantly dispelled, still Mr. +Harmer could not help thinking that he had something on his mind. But if +it was so, he said no word to his father; and Herbert Harmer, even had +he been sure that such a secret had existed, which he was far from +being, was of too delicate a disposition to make the least advance +towards a confidence which his son did not seek to repose in him. + +At last the hunting season began again, to which Gerald had been looking +forward eagerly, as he preferred it even to shooting, perhaps because it +was a much greater change, as the meets were seldom held near +Canterbury, and he would have to send his hunter on the night before, +and drive over perhaps fifteen or twenty miles in the morning. However, +it happened that one of the first meets of the season was appointed to +take place near Canterbury, about three miles out on the old Dover Road, +and Gerald started off, after an early breakfast, in unusually high +spirits. + +Mr. Harmer, late in the afternoon, was in his library, which was in the +front of the house, and the windows of which commanded a view down the +drive. + +He had been reading, but the fast-closing shades of a wintry +afternoon--it was the 12th of November, had rendered that difficult, and +he had laid down his book and walked to the window, to look out at the +still trees and the quiet hush of the thickening twilight. + +Suddenly there came on his ear a low confused sound, as of many people +moving and speaking; and then a horse's footsteps came fast up the +drive. + +He strained his eyes for the first sight of the rider, as he came round +the turn of the drive into sight. + +It was not Gerald--it was one of his most intimate friends. + +What could it be? He threw open the window and listened again; between +the strokes of the horses' feet in the still evening air, he could hear +the confused sound of voices and the trampling of feet coming nearer. +What could it be? A nameless terror blanched his cheek, a dim vision of +the truth flashed across him. In an instant he was at the hall-door, +which he opened and went out on to the steps. The horseman had alighted, +and now stood looking pale and anxious at the door. When it opened, and +he saw Mr. Harmer himself, he shrank back as a man might, who, knowing +that he had something very painful to go through, is suddenly confronted +with it before he had quite nerved himself to undergo it. Recovering +himself, however, although his usually hearty, jovial face was blanched +white, he prepared to speak. Herbert Harmer waved him back, he could +tell him nothing that could be new to him now. He had seen his face, and +hope had died with the look, and the father stood listening with +suspended breath to the irregular trampling now rapidly approaching up +the avenue. + +"Is he dead?" he asked with his eyes, for no sound came from the lips. +"Not dead--but----" The eyes closed for a moment in answer that they +understood--not dead, but dying; and then he stood rigid and immovable, +his eyes open but seeing nothing, his whole senses merged in the effort +of hearing. + +The gentleman who had brought the news, seeing that at present he could +do nothing there, quietly entered the house and ordered the affrighted +servants instantly to get a bed-room ready, with hot water, sponges, and +everything that could be required. + +Mr. Harmer moved not till he saw appear round the turn of the drive the +head of a sad procession: carried on the shoulders of six men, on a door +hastily taken from a cottage for the purpose, was something in red +covered with a cloak; riding by the side were several horsemen in +scarlet, most of whom, on seeing Mr. Harmer standing on the steps, +reined back their horses and returned into the village, there to wait +for news. Not that they expected any news, save one; for the man in +green riding by the head of the little procession was the doctor. He was +on the field at the time of the accident, he had already examined the +injured man, had shaken his head sadly over him, and the word had gone +round--no hope. + +His horse, a young hunter which he had only purchased a few days before, +had struck the top bar in leaping a gate, and had come down headlong on +its rider, fearfully crushing and mangling him. They carried him up to +his room and laid him on the bed; his father walking beside speechless +and tearless. The only question he asked was, "Will he ever recover his +consciousness?" + +The doctor replied, "He may at the last." + +The last did not come till next morning, when, just as the grey light +was breaking, he opened his eyes. For some time they wandered confusedly +about the room, as if endeavouring to comprehend what had happened; then +he tried to move, and a slight groan of pain broke from him, and by the +change in his expression it was evident he remembered all. His eyes met +those of his father, and fixed there with a look of deep affection, then +a sudden recollection of pain seemed to occur to him, and he closed his +eyes again and lay for sometime quite still. + +The doctor who had his finger on his wrist motioned to the father that +the end was fast approaching. Again the eyes opened and he was evidently +rallying his strength to speak. The doctor withdrew a few paces, and the +father placed his ear to the dying man's mouth. The lips moved, but all +that the hearer could catch was--"Dear father--kind to Madge--my +sake--God forgive;" then the lips ceased moving, and the spirit was gone +for ever. + +Ten days had passed since then, Gerald Harmer had been laid in the quiet +graveyard of the village church, and his father was sitting thoughtful +and alone in his library. A knock at the door, and Mr. Brandon, the +rector of the place, was announced, and by Mr. Harmer's manner as he +rose to meet him, it was evident that he was an expected visitor. + +"I am much obliged to you for calling so speedily," he said, after they +had seated themselves. "I have a question which weighs much upon my +mind, and which is to me an inexpressibly painful one. Yet it is one +which I must ask, and you are the only person of whom I can ask it. I +may be mistaken altogether. I may be agitating myself under some +wretched misconception; God grant it may be so; and yet I must arrive at +the truth. Do you know any young person in the village by the name of +Madge? how old is she, who are her parents, and what character does she +bear?" + +The clergyman's face became very serious as Mr. Harmer addressed him, +and the latter saw at once by his unmistakable start of surprise, and by +the look of distress which came across his face, that he not only knew +such a person, but that he was very well aware why the question was +asked. + +Mr. Harmer laid his face in his hands and groaned; this was almost +harder to bear than his son's death. It was some time before he looked +up again. When he did so, the clergyman said in a tone of deep feeling +and commiseration-- + +"It is a truly sad affair, my dear sir; indeed, I question if you yet +know how sad. The name of the young girl of whom you ask was Madge +Needham; she lived with her brother, one of your keepers. I hardly know +how to tell you what has occurred. She had been for some time in +delicate health, and was standing at the door of her cottage when she +saw a little crowd coming down the village street. She carelessly asked +a lad who was running past what it was, and was told that they were +carrying home your unfortunate son who had been killed out hunting. The +boy ran on; she said nothing, but closed the door of the cottage. The +shock had struck home. That night a little child was born into the +world, who before morning had lost both father and mother." + +Mr. Brandon ceased, his voice faltered as he spoke, and the tears fell +from his eyes. Mr. Harmer hid his face in his hands, and sobbed +unrestrainedly; he was inexpressibly shocked and grieved. At last he +said-- + +"Is the child alive?" + +"Yes; a young married woman in the village who had just lost a baby of +her own has taken it for the present. She consulted me about it only +this morning, and I told her that in a short time when I could approach +the subject with you, I would do so, although I did not expect that the +opportunity would have occurred so soon. Still, I thought it right, +painful as it must be to you, that you should know the truth. I believe +from what I have heard that there can be no question as to the paternity +of the infant, as I heard, late in the spring, rumours of your son being +frequently down at the cottage. But it did not reach my ears until after +he had gone abroad, consequently I could do nothing in the matter but +hope for the best, and trust that rumour was mistaken." + +After another short silence, Mr. Harmer said-- + +"Mr. Brandon, I am very much indebted to you for what you have already +done in the matter; will you further oblige me by acting for me in it? +If the woman who has now charge of the child is a respectable and proper +person, and is willing to continue the care of it, so much the better. +If not, will you seek some one who will do so? Make any arrangements in +the way of money you may think fit. By the way, the east lodge, which is +the one farthest from the village, is at present unoccupied; let them +move in there. I will give orders that it shall be made comfortable. +Will you see to this for me? So much for the present; we can make other +arrangements afterwards." + +And so it was carried out. Mrs. Green, the woman who had first taken +care of the child, with her husband, a steady working carpenter, moved +into the east lodge. They had no other children, and soon took to the +little orphan, and loved her as their own. To them, indeed, the adoption +of the child proved of great benefit. The lodge was made comfortable; a +piece of ground was added to it, and put in order for a garden; a +handsome yearly sum was paid; and the husband had steady work upon the +estate. + +Long William, the keeper, had a sufficient sum of money given him, to +enable him to emigrate to Australia. + +Upon the death of his son, Mr. Harmer went abroad for three or four +years, and then returned again to the old place. The shock which he had +undergone had aged him much, and at fifty-one he looked as old as many +men of sixty. He still kept up the acquaintance of his former friends; +but although fond of quiet social intercourse, he ceased altogether to +enter into general society, and devoted himself entirely to study and +scientific pursuits. + +It was a little before Mr. Harmer's return, that Dr. Ashleigh +established himself at Canterbury, having purchased a practice there. +They met accidentally at a friend's house, and soon became very intimate +with each other. They were mutually attracted by the similarity of their +tastes and pursuits, and by each other's intellectual superiority and +goodness of heart. They were indeed kindred spirits, and their society +became a source of the greatest mutual pleasure and gratification. +Whenever Dr. Ashleigh could find time from his professional pursuits, he +would drive over to pass a few hours of scientific research and +experiment with his friend; and if anything should occur to prevent the +visit being paid for a few days, Mr. Harmer would, in turn, come over +for an evening to the doctor's, at Canterbury. + +In the mean time little Sophy Needham was growing up. She was not a +pretty child, but had an intelligent face, with large thoughtful grey +eyes. + +It was some time after his return from abroad before Mr. Harmer trusted +himself to ride out at the east gate. At last, one day--it was the +anniversary of his son's death--he did so, and stopping there, fastened +up his horse, and went in to see the child, then exactly four years old. + +At first she was inclined to be distant and shy; but when once she had +recovered sufficiently to fix her large grey inquiring eyes upon him, +she went to him readily, and in five minutes they were fast friends; for +indeed he was one of those men whom children instinctively feel to be +good, and take to as if by intuition. + +After this he would frequently go down to see her, and take her little +presents of toys and dolls. Until she was ten years old she went to the +village school, and then he sent her to London to a good school, to be +educated as he said, for a governess. When she came home for the +holidays, he would frequently have her up for a day to the house, and +would interest himself greatly in her talk and growing knowledge. + +It was some little time after his return from abroad that Mr. Harmer +received a letter from his sisters, who had since they left been +travelling and living abroad, saying, that if he were still of the same +mind, and would repeat his invitation, they would be glad to come and +stay with him for a time, as they longed to see the old place where they +had lived so long. Although much surprised, Mr. Harmer willingly +assented, and his two sisters soon afterwards arrived. Their visit, at +first intended only to last for a few weeks, lengthened into months; +then they went away for a time, but soon returned, and took up their +abode there permanently. + +Whatever their motives may have been originally in returning to the +place, they unquestionably became very much attached to their brother, +and were far happier than they had ever before been during their lives: +they pursued their religious exercises, he his scientific pursuits, +without interference from each other, and as the genial intercourse and +kindness of their brother brightened their days, so did their affection +and interest soothe his. Their presence was a relief to the previous +silence and monotony of the house, and their management took all +household cares off his hands. + +On one subject alone had any disagreement arisen, and that was the +presence of Sophy; but here their brother at once so decidedly, and even +sternly, stated that his wishes on that point were to be considered as +law, and that no interference with them would be for a moment tolerated, +that they were obliged at once to acquiesce, although they still, as +much as they dare, kept up by their manner a protest against her +presence. + +Sophy now, during her holidays, stopped entirely at the house, occupying +a position something between that of visitor and humble companion. The +girl accepted her lot with rare tact for one of her age. She felt her +anomalous position, for she had, at Mr. Harmer's wish, been made +acquainted with her history, as he was sure that, sooner or later, she +was certain to be informed of it. She was of a quiet, retiring manner, +self-contained, and thoughtful, and manifested a quiet deference for the +Miss Harmers--with which, however much they might have wished it, they +could have found no fault--and a warm, though subdued, affection for Mr. +Harmer. + +And thus matters stood when this story began. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +TESTAMENTARY INTENTIONS. + + +All this history of the Harmers I have told nearly as I heard it, +passing briefly over such parts as were not essential to the +understanding of the story, and retaining all that was necessary to be +told in order that the relative position of the various inmates of +Harmer Place may be quite understood by any one who may hereafter read +this story of mine. And having done so, I can now proceed with the +regular course of my journal. + +That visit of ours to Harmer Place was a very memorable one, and +exercised not a little influence upon my fortunes, although certainly I +little dreamt at the time of our return that evening, that it had done +so. To Polly and I it had been simply an extremely pleasant day. We had +rambled about the garden with Sophy Needham, and had taken tea in the +summer-house, while papa and Mr. Harmer were at dinner. We had then gone +into desert, and, that over, had again rambled out, leaving the +gentlemen over their wine. It was while thus engaged, that a +conversation took place, which I did not hear of for more than a year +afterwards, but which entirely altered my worldly prospects. It was +began by Mr. Harmer, who had been for some time sitting rather silent +and abstracted. + +"I think it is high time, my dear doctor, for me to speak to you frankly +and openly, of what my intentions are in reference to the disposal of my +property. I mentioned somewhat of this to you four or five years since, +but I should like now to speak explicitly. I am aware that such matters +are not usually gone into; but I think in many cases, of which this is +one, it is right and better that it should be so. I have no relations +whatever in the world, with the exception of my sisters, who have an +ample life provision, and Sophy Needham, my son's child. My property is +very large; I have the Harmer estates, my own savings in India, and the +accumulation of my brothers, who never lived up to their income for very +many years. In all about seven thousand a year. As I have said, Sophy +Needham is my only connection in the world--you my only friend. To Sophy +I have left half my fortune, the other half I have bequeathed to your +children. Do not start, my dear Ashleigh, or offer any fruitless +objection, my decision is fixed and immovable. For the last thirteen +years my existence has been brightened by your friendly intercourse, in +you I have found a scientific guide and friend; indeed, I may say that +my life as far as this world is concerned, has been entirely made what +it is, tranquil, contented, and happy by your friendship. Ten years ago +you will remember I begged you to retire from practice, and to take up +your abode here with your family, upon any terms you might name, but in +fact as my adopted family. This offer you, from motives I could not but +respect, declined. You loved your profession, and considered it +incompatible with your duty to leave a career of active usefulness. +Things, therefore, went on as before. Towards Sophy my intentions were +not fixed, but she has turned out a very good girl, and I shall +therefore leave her half my fortune, about seventy-five thousand pounds. +Had I any other relation, or any person who could have the smallest +claim upon me, you might hesitate; as it is, not even the most morbid +feeling of delicacy can tell you that you are depriving others of their +expectations. Being so, let the matter be tacitly understood, and say +nothing whatever about it; you ought not to have known of it till my +death, just suppose that you do not know of it now. You will ask me why +have I then told you. For this reason. I wish to benefit your children. +My life is uncertain; but I may live for many years yet, and my money +might come too late to do good. Your son may have spent the best years +of his life struggling in some profession which he does not like; your +daughters may have suffered too. I therefore wish at once to place Harry +with the best man in the profession he wishes to enter, which I have +heard him say is that of a civil engineer, and I shall allow him a +hundred and fifty pounds a year for the present. Your daughters I should +wish sent to some good school in London to finish their education; and +when the time shall come, when such an event may be considered probable, +I should wish it to be publicly known that they will each have upon +their wedding day ten thousand pounds. Your son shall have a like sum +when the time comes for him to enter into a partnership, or start in +business for himself. These sums to be deducted from their moiety of my +fortune at my death. And now, doctor, let us shake hands and not mention +the matter again, and as you do not seem to be drinking your wine, let +us go out and join the young ladies in the garden." + +It was not until after several further discussions upon the subject of +Mr. Harmer's kind intentions towards us that papa agreed to accept his +offer. When he at last consented to do so, no time was lost in carrying +out the plans, and in a month or two Harry went up to London to be +articled to a well-known engineer. As for us, it was settled that Miss +Harrison should remain with us until Christmas, and that after the +holidays we should go up to a school near London. How delighted we were +at the prospect, and how very slowly that autumn seemed to pass; +however, at last the time came, and we started under papa's charge for +London. When we were once there, and were fairly in a cab on our way to +school, we felt a little nervous and frightened. However, there was a +great comfort in the thought that there would, at any rate, be one face +we knew, that of Clara Fairthorne, who came from our part of the country +we had met her at some of our Christmas parties, and it was by her +parents the school had been recommended to papa. But although we felt +rather nervous, it was not until we were in sight of the school that our +spirits really fell; and even at the lapse of all these years, I do +think that its aspect was enough to make any girl's heart sink, who was +going to school for the first time. + +Any one who has passed along the road from Hyde Park Corner to Putney +Bridge may have noticed Grendon House, and any one who has done so, must +have exclaimed to himself "a girls' school." Palpably a girls' school, +it could be nothing else. With the high wall surrounding it, to keep all +passers-by from even imagining what was going on within, with the trees +which grew inside it, and almost hid the house from view, with its +square stiff aspect when one did get a glimpse of it, and with its small +windows, each furnished with muslin curtains of an extreme whiteness and +primness of arrangement, and through which no face was ever seen to +glance out,--certainly it could be nothing but a girls' school. + +On the door in the wall were two brass plates, the one inscribed in +stiff Roman characters "Grendon House;" the other "The Misses Pilgrim," +in a running flourishing handwriting. I remember after we had driven up +to the door, and were waiting for the bell to be answered, wondering +whether the Misses Pilgrim wrote at all like that, and if so, what their +character would be likely to be. In the door, by the side of the plate, +was a small grating, or grille, through which a cautious survey could be +made of any applicant for admission within those sacred precincts. + +On passing through the door, and entering the inclosure, one found +oneself in a small, irregular piece of ground, dignified by the name of +the garden, although, from its appearance, it would be supposed that +this was a mere pleasantry; but it was not so. Indeed, no such thing as +a pleasantry ever was or could be attempted about anything connected +with "Grendon House." Certain it is that nothing in the way of a flower +was ever acclimatized there. The gloom and frigidity of the place would +have been far too much for any flower known in temperate climates to +have supported. + +I remember, indeed, Constance Biglow, who had a brother who had just +started on an Arctic expedition, lamented that she had forgotten to ask +him to bring home some of the plants from those regions, as an +appropriate present for the Misses Pilgrim, for their garden. I know at +the time we considered it to be a very good, although a dreadfully +disrespectful, joke towards those ladies. + +In spring, indeed, a few crocuses (Miss Pilgrim spoke of them as croci) +ventured to come up and show their heads, but they soon faded away again +in such an uncongenial atmosphere. The only thing which really +flourished there was the box edging to the borders, which grew +luxuriantly, and added somehow to the funereal aspect of the place. It +was no wonder nothing grew there, for the house, and the high walls, and +the trees within them, completely shaded it, and cut it off from all +light and air. Round the so-called flower-beds the gravel path was +wider, and was dignified by the name of the carriage drive, though how +any coachman was to have turned a carriage in that little confined +space, even had he got through the impassable gate, was, and probably +ever will remain, a mystery. + +Behind the house was the playground, a good-sized triangular-shaped +gravelled yard, for Grendon House was situated at the junction of two +roads, and the house itself stood across the base of the triangle they +formed. This playground was several times larger than the garden, and +was indeed quite extensive enough for such games as we indulged in. It +was, of course, surrounded by the high wall, with its belt of trees, +underneath which was a narrow strip of border, divided into regular +portions; and here the girls were permitted to prove the correctness of +the axiom, that plants will not live without light or air. + +So much for the exterior; inside, if the sensation of gloom and +propriety which pervaded the very atmosphere could have been got rid of, +it would have been really a fine house. + +The hall, which was very large, extended up to the top of the house; +from it, on the ground floor, led off the dining and schoolrooms, large, +well-proportioned rooms, but very cold and bare-looking, especially the +former; for the schoolroom walls were nearly covered with maps of +different countries, some rolled up and out of use, others hanging down +open; beside them hung genealogized trees of the various monarchies of +Europe; while in the corner was a large stand with a black board for +drawing diagrams in chalk. Nothing else in either of them but bare +walls, and equally bare forms and tables. + +There was another little room opening from the great hall: this was the +cloak-room, where the girls put on their bonnets and shawls before going +out for their walks. It was here that, when they were able to slip out +from the schoolroom, they would meet to talk in English for a change, +and interchange those little confidences about nothing in which +school-girls delight. This room looked into the garden; and to prevent +the possibility of any one who might be--which nobody ever +was--wandering there, looking in at the window, white silver paper, with +coloured flowers under it, was stuck on to the glass, something in the +manner of decalcomanie, only that extraordinary and difficult name was +not at that time invented. + +Upstairs was the drawing-room. It was here that the Misses Pilgrim +received visitors to the girls, and here that the lady professors, who +came twice a week to teach music, imparted lessons in singing and on the +pianoforte to the pupils. + +This room was a model of propriety and frigidity--if there be such a +word, for no other will describe the effect produced. The curtains were +of white muslin, so stiff and carefully arranged that they might have +been cut out of marble. The chairs were of some light wood, with gilding +on them, and so extremely fragile, that it was only with the greatest +caution and care that any one could venture to sit down upon them; there +were couches too, here and there, but these as seats were altogether out +of the question, being so covered with Berlin work of every kind, and +antimacassars of such stiffness and intricacy of pattern, that no one +would ever have thought of assuming a sitting position even upon the +extreme edge of them. + +The room was literally crowded with tables of every imaginable shape and +form, generally on twisted legs, and looking as if a breath would upset +them. On these tables were placed works of art and industry of every +description. Vases of wax flowers and fruit, Berlin wool mats of every +colour and pattern, inkstands of various shapes and sizes, books of +engravings, stuffed birds under glass shades; in short, knicknacks of +every sort and kind, and on a great majority of them were inscribed, +"Presented to Miss Pilgrim, or Miss Isabella Pilgrim, by her attached +pupils on her birth-day;" or, "Presented to the Misses Pilgrim by their +attached pupil so-and-so on the occasion of her leaving school." + +Through all this it was next to impossible to move without the greatest +risk of bringing some of the little fragile tables down with a crash, +and visitors would generally, after a vague glance of perplexity round, +drop, or rather lower themselves carefully, into one of the little +minikin chairs, as near as possible to the door. + +So chilling was the effect of this room, so overwhelming its atmosphere +of propriety, that many fathers and brothers who have come up from the +country to see their daughters or sisters after a long absence, men with +big voices and hearty manner, have felt so constrained and overpowered +by it, that in place of taking them into their arms with a loud-sounding +kiss, they have been known to hold out their hand in a most formal +manner and to inquire almost in a whisper as to their state of health. +In this drawing-room the elder girls used to practise, and if any +visitor was shown up there the proper form to be observed was to rise +from the music-stool, walk to the door, and then, making a deep curtsey, +to leave the room--a performance not unfrequently completely astounding +any one strange to the ceremonies inculcated at young ladies' schools as +being suitable to occasions like this. + +It will be judged from all this that "Grendon House" was a model +academy, and indeed it was. The only wonder is that it did not turn us +all into the stiffest pieces of prim propriety possible; but somehow it +did not; for I think, on looking back, that a merrier and more lively +set of girls it would be difficult to have found, and yet we most +certainly had not much to be merry about. "All work and no play makes +Jack a dull boy." It may be so, but it decidedly did not have that +effect upon Jack's sisters. We certainly did work very hard. I suppose +it was necessary in order to cram all the accomplishments girls are +expected to know into our heads; but however it was, I am quite sure +that in those two years I was at school, I worked more hours and +steadier at them, than Harry ever did in four; he allows it himself, and +I am sure it is generally the case, that girls work infinitely harder +than their brothers, and certainly have no amusement or recreation at +all in proportion. I suppose it is all right, but yet I do think that if +we worked a good deal less, and played a great deal more, we should know +quite as much, and be far more healthy and natural than we are. + +However, I am not writing an essay, or I should have a great deal more +to say on this point; as it is I must leave it for abler hands, and go +back to my story. + +When we first caught sight of Grendon House our spirits fell many +degrees, and when we entered its solemn portals we felt terribly awed +and uncomfortable. We were, of course, shown up into that dreadful +drawing-room, and I think papa was as much affected by it as we were; he +certainly was not a bit like himself, and he stayed a very short time +talking to Miss Pilgrim, who came up in great state, and in a very stiff +silk dress, which rustled alarmingly as she walked, to receive us. Miss +Pilgrim was small but stately, almost overpoweringly so. Her hair was +arranged in little stiff ringlets on each temple; her nose was very +prominent; her lips thin and rather pinched; her eyes bright and +searching; she was, on the whole, in good keeping with the room, and yet +I thought that, although she looked so sharp, and spoke so shortly and +decidedly, that she was kind at heart, and that I should like her. And I +may say I did; she was, although strict and sharp with us girls--as +indeed she had need to be--kind-hearted and thoughtful, and I parted +with her when I left school with regret. Her sister Isabella was so +exactly the counterpart of herself that one description will do for the +two; and, except that she wore her hair in flat braids instead of in +ringlets, and that she was not quite so sharp and decided, although +equally kind, she might have been easily mistaken for her elder sister. + +When papa got up to go away, I could not help crying a little; for, +though I was fifteen, I had never been away from home before. However, I +soon came round after he was once fairly gone. Polly was longer +recovering herself; but she, too, soon got over it, when I told her that +if we cried the girls would be sure to call us cry-babies. + +Presently Miss Pilgrim, who had considerately left us for a few minutes +to let us have our cry out, came back again, and took us up to show us +our room, where we could take off our things. She also kindly sent for +Clara Fairthorne, so that we might go down into the schoolroom with some +one we knew. It was rather an ordeal going in there, and seeing all the +faces lifted up from their work to look at the new comers. However, it +was not so bad as we had expected; they did not stare at us +disagreeably, nor did they, when we went out into the playground +afterwards, ask us so many questions as papa had warned us they would. +Indeed, there was no occasion for their doing so, as they had heard all +about us from Clara. One or two of them took us under their special +protection, as it were, for the first few days, and we felt at home very +much sooner than I had expected that we should do. We were about twenty +in all, from Annie Morgan and Selma Colman, the two parlour boarders, +down to Julia Jackson, a West-Indian child of eleven years old, the +darling and pet of the whole school. + +I am not going to write a long account of my schooldays. The daily +routine of one girl's school is so much like that of another, that there +is nothing new to be told of it; the little disputes, the rivalries, the +friendships sworn to last for life, but which seldom survive a year or +two of occasional correspondence,--all these things have been so +frequently told, that I shall not repeat them, but shall only mention +briefly such incidents as had an effect upon my after life. + +The account of one day's work is a description of all. Breakfast at +eight; school from half-past eight until twelve; then a walk for +three-quarters of an hour. Dinner at one; play for half an hour; school +from two till half-past five; another half-hour's play; tea at six; +school till eight; then to bed. + +Looking back upon it now, I wonder how I, and all the countless girls +who go through such slavery as this, keep their health and spirits. Our +walk was no recreation to us; we went, two and two, through the streets, +or into Kensington Gardens--the same walks week after week--till we knew +every stone on the pavement we walked on. It was a dreadfully formal +affair, and I think I would rather have been in school. The only play we +really had was the half-hour after dinner and the half-hour after tea, +and also on Saturday afternoons. Then, indeed, we made up for all the +day's repression,--running, jumping, skipping, laughing, and shouting +like mad girls, till I am sure sometimes we scandalized the whole +neighbourhood, and that passers by on the other side of the high wall +paused in astonishment at such an outburst of joyous cries and laughter. +Even at this time, as at all others during the day, we had to speak +French, not a word of English being allowed to be spoken in "Grendon +House;" and I remember congratulating myself that French girls laughed +the same way as we did, for we should certainly have been obliged to +laugh in French, had such a thing been possible. I was very good friends +with all my schoolfellows, and, indeed, there was very little +quarrelling among us,--just a sharp word or two, and a little extra +stateliness and ceremony for a day or so; but even this was uncommon, +for we had neither time nor opportunity to quarrel. My greatest +favourite was Ada Desborough, who was a month or two younger than +myself. Ada was tall, slight, with a very pretty figure, and a +particularly easy, graceful carriage. She was lively, talkative, full of +fun,--indeed inclined, to be almost too noisy, and it was easy to see +she would turn out a perfect flirt. + +Ada and I would sometimes quarrel, and she would take up with some one +else for three weeks or a month, and then come back to me all of a +sudden, and be as affectionate as ever. She was such a warm-hearted girl +it was impossible to be angry with her; and, on the whole, she was by +far my greatest friend all the time I was at Grendon House. It was +through Ada that the only break which ever occurred in the monotony of +our life at Grendon House took place. Ada's mother, Lady Eveline +Desborough, lived in Eaton Square, and Ada generally went home from +Saturday afternoon till Sunday evening. Sometimes, perhaps twice in a +half-year, she would bring an invitation from her mamma for three or +four of us to go there to spend the next Saturday afternoon with her. I +was always of the number, as being Ada's particular friend. We looked +forward to these little parties as a change; but there was not any great +amusement in them. + +Lady Desborough was the widow of General Sir William Desborough, and +moved in quite the extreme fashionable world. She was a tall, elegant +woman, with a haughty, aristocratic face. She used, I really think, to +try and unbend to us girls; but her success was not great: she was so +tall and haughty-looking, so splendidly dressed, and her attempt at +cordiality was so very distant that we were all quite awed by it. + +The programme of the afternoon's amusement was generally as follows. We +would go first either to the Polytechnic or the Zoological Gardens, or, +in fact, wherever we chose, under the escort of Lady Desborough's +housekeeper, a respectable middle-aged woman, who used to let us wander +about and do just as we liked. This part of the day was really +enjoyable; when we got back to Eaton Square, we had our tea together in +the small room behind the dining-room, where Lady Desborough dined in +solitary state. This was great fun. Ada made tea with a vast affectation +of ceremony, and the laughing and noise we made were prodigious, and +would have scandalized Miss Pilgrim, could she have heard us; and we +should not have ventured to indulge in it, had not Ada assured us that +the partition was so thick that it was quite impossible for our voices +to penetrate to the next room. When tea was over, we quieted down +gradually at the thought of what was in store for us, for when Lady +Desborough had finished her dinner, and gone up into the drawing-room, +we were sent for, and went up-stairs, putting on our best company +manners, as inculcated at "Grendon House," and seated ourselves on the +edges of the chairs, in the primest of attitudes, with our feet +perfectly straight, and our hands folded before us. We would first have +a little frigid conversation, and Lady Desborough would then ask us to +oblige her by playing on the piano, and as we always, by Miss Pilgrim's +order, brought a piece of music each with us, there was no possibility +of evading the infliction, but each had in turn to perform her piece; +and then we sat stiff and uncomfortable, till the welcome intelligence +came that Miss Pilgrim's servant was at the door with a cab. + +After the first year I was at school had passed, and when we were about +sixteen, the stiffness of these visits wore away, but we never were +quite comfortable with Lady Desborough; and, indeed, did not enjoy our +visit as much even as we had done the year before, for we were too old +to go now sightseeing under the housekeeper's care, and our merry teas +were exchanged for stiff dinners with Lady Desborough. + +Ada had one brother, whom I have not yet spoken of. He was five years +older than she was, and she always spoke of him in enthusiastic terms; +but I never saw him except the twice I went to Eaton Square, in my first +half-year. He was then rather more than twenty, and seemed a quiet young +man, and I thought a little shy, and out of his element with us five +girls. He was tall, and dark like his sister, but with a thoughtful, +studious face, very unlike hers. Ada said that at ordinary times he was +full of fun. All I can say is at these two visits I saw nothing of it. +He had, I believe, entered the Guards, but after a short time determined +to see some active service, and accordingly exchanged into the Lancers, +I understood from Ada, very much to his mother's dissatisfaction. + +I have now briefly told all the events which occurred in my two years at +school, which had in any way a bearing upon my after-life. I have told +them all at once, in order that I may not have to go back to my +schooldays again, which, indeed, were monotonous enough. I have read and +heard that in some schools the girls engage in all sorts of fun and +flirtation and adventures. It may be so; I do not know. I can only say +we had no such goings on at "Grendon House," but, although naturally +lively and full of fun enough, were certainly a quiet, well-conducted, +ladylike set of girls, and no such nonsense, as far as I ever heard, +entered into any one of our heads. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +THE BISHOP OF RAVENNA. + + +The autumn sun was blazing down upon the ancient city of Ravenna, and, +over the flat pestilential country around it, an unwholesome malarious +vapour hung thick and heavy. Perhaps in all Italy there is no more +unhealthy spot than is the neighbourhood of Ravenna. The whole country +is a swamp, the water oozes up in the fields at the very foot of its +walls, and the agriculturist has but to sink a bottomless tub in the +ground and he will have a well full to the brim, which no amount of +drawing upon will exhaust. The city itself sits lonely and deserted +amongst her green rice-grounds and swamps; her wide streets are empty, +her churches without worshippers, her aspect mournful and desolate in +the extreme. And yet this was once a mighty city, second only to +imperial Rome in magnitude and importance, the seat of Emperors, and the +cradle of Christianity. The swamps then were not in existence, but the +bright waves of the Adriatic broke close to its walls, and the Roman +galleys lay moored in the port of Classis within bow-shot range. The sea +is far off now, and the rice-grounds stretch away level and flat where +the waves broke. Classis has disappeared, and has left no sign; the +hungry morasses have swallowed every stone and vestige, and the ancient +church of St. Apollinarius alone marks where the place once stood; +while, where the galleys anchored, the thick groves of the pine forest +extend for miles in an unbroken shade. The emperors and exarchs, the +Gothic and Frank monarchs, the conquerors innumerable who in turns +lorded it there; the great family of Polenta, the patrons of art, who +for centuries were her masters;--all these are gone, and their tombs +alone tell that they ever existed: and now it lies forgotten and alone, +visited only for the sake of its early Christian churches, with their +glorious mosaics. + +Perhaps in all Italy there was at that time no city which, for its size, +contained so large a number of priests; probably its hush and quiet +suited them; but nearly every other person in the streets was an +ecclesiastic, and the clang of the bells calling to prayer from their +picturesque round campaniles never ceased. It was past mid-day, and mass +was over in most of the churches, when two aged women, in black dresses +and thick veils, which entirely concealed their faces, rang at the bell +of the Bishop's palace. The door was opened by a man in a sort of +semi-clerical attire. On giving their names, he bowed respectfully, and +saying "His lordship is expecting you," led the way up some wide stairs, +through a long corridor, and then signing to them to wait a moment, he +entered the room; returning in a few seconds, he requested them to +enter, and closed the door behind them. It was a very large room, +although its length was comparatively greater than its width. A range of +bookshelves, extending from the floor to a height of about five feet, +ran completely round it, and upon the dark-panelled walls were hung a +long series of portraits, probably those of the bishop's predecessors in +office. Above, the ceiling was divided by a richly-gilt framework into a +number of irregular partitions, in which were inserted a fine series of +paintings by ancient masters, the subjects of which were not all so +strictly Scriptural as might have been expected in the palace of a +Church dignitary. The light entered by a very large window at the end of +the apartment, the panes of which were of the small diamond pattern. +With his back to this window, by the side of a large chair, in which he +had apparently been sitting reading when his visitors were announced, +stood the Bishop of Ravenna. Although he had returned from mass some +quarter of an hour, he still wore a part of the robes in which he had +officiated. It is probable that as he expected the ladies who had just +entered, and as he was particularly anxious upon this occasion to +impress their minds strongly, he had purposely retained these insignia +of his office to add to the power which he had for many years been +accustomed to exercise over them. Not, indeed, that the bishop needed +any adventitious aids to his personal appearance. He was a tall, stately +figure, but little bent with the weight of the seventy years which had +passed over him. His hair was silver white, but the lines of the face +were still strong and marked. His manner was very variable,--at times +commanding, even harsh; at other moments mild and persuasive. As an +orator he had few equals in his Church,--the varying modulations of his +voice alternately awing and melting his audience. He advanced to meet +the two women, who, their veils raised now, hurried towards him, and +knelt at his feet to receive the blessing which he impressively bestowed +upon them. That done, he raised them, and placed them in chairs facing +the one he himself occupied. + +"My dear sisters," he began, in Italian, "I received your note before I +went out this morning, telling me that you were here, and would call +upon me after mass. I was indeed glad to hear of your coming. It is +three years now since I last saw you. It was in a humbler lodging than +this that you then visited me." + +"My sister and myself were indeed glad to learn that your services to +the Church had met the reward so richly deserved," the elder of the two +women said. + +The bishop waved his hand deprecatingly. + +"The Church has far too highly honoured my poor services," he said; "and +indeed I should have been well content to have remained in the sphere in +which I had so long worked; but it was not for me to oppose my will to +that of those who know far better than I can do what is best for our +holy Church. And you, sisters, how has it fared with you these three +years? Not badly in health, I should say, for you are in no way changed +since I saw you last." + +"Our health is good, truly, father, but our minds fare but badly. We are +weary of this long struggle, which has ended only in defeat, as our +letters have told you; and now we hope that you will grant the prayer we +have so often made, and allow us to retire into a convent for the rest +of our days." + +"But your struggle has not ended in a defeat," the bishop said, ignoring +the request contained in the last part of the speech. "No defeat can +come until the end of a battle. It is true that the news which you send +me is very bad. It is bad that the apostate who wrongfully holds Harmer +Place is still impenitent, still more bad that he should have determined +to will the property which rightfully belongs to the Church away to +other hands. But that I know that in this you are weak, that your hearts +turn towards him who is unworthy of it, I should long since have called +down the anger of an offended God upon him." + +"No, no, father," the younger of the two women, who had not as yet +spoken, said; "he is mistaken, grievously mistaken indeed, and we lament +it with tears, while we pray for him continually; but in other respects +he is very good, very kind to all, most of all to us." + +"That may be, sister Angela," the bishop said, sternly. "It is easy to +be kind in manner when all goes well with you in the world; it is easier +and more pleasant, but it is mere outside. What avails this if within +all is rotten, if the vital point of all is wanting? Such a man is but a +whited sepulchre. However," he continued, more mildly, "for your sake, +my sisters, the Church has been content to wait; for your sake it has +forborne to use the power of cursing and anathema which is confided to +her, here upon earth; for your sake it is content to remain tranquil +under the privation of the worldly goods which in her hands would have +done such incalculable good, but which are now devoted to far different +purposes." + +Here the bishop paused, and there was silence for a little, and then the +elder sister again asked,-- + +"And our request, father; will you grant us now that we may retire to a +convent? Our task is done here." + +"Your task is not done," the bishop said, sternly, "and may not be +relinquished. Our path in this life must be regulated by our duty, not +our wishes. Your duty is plain,--to endeavour to restore to the Church +that property of which it has been unjustly defrauded. No one can +perform this but you; and although at present things have worked but +ill, yet no one can say what may yet occur. You have already, in your +brother's present position, a striking instance of the unexpected way in +which the events of this world occur, and how little we can foresee the +intentions of God. Who can say, therefore, that in time this great wrong +may not be rectified, and that the will of your dead brothers, those +true children of the Church, may not yet be carried into effect? Events +have indeed turned out badly, but there is no ground for losing hope; +and you, who have hitherto worked so well for the good cause, I little +looked to see shrink from your allotted task; I expected better things +of you, sister Cecilia and sister Angela,--you, of all women, having +once put your hands to the plough, I did not think to see turn back from +the labour." + +"But we have tried hard, father, very hard for many long years," Cecilia +Harmer said, "and it is only because we find that our work has come to +nothing, that it is over, as it were, that we would gladly retire to die +in peace and quietness. It is eighteen years since we left the convent +we had entered, when the news came of our nephew's death. You bade us +go, and we went. For eighteen years we have worked and hoped. Hope and +work are over now; let us rest." + +"It has been so long, father, such weary years, almost without hope all +the while; we are so tired--so, so sick of the world. Oh, father, let us +go back to our convent!" the younger sister almost wailed, plaintively. + +"My dear sister," the bishop said, and this time his voice was soft and +persuasive, "we have all our trials; life is no rosy path, but is paved +with the sharp stones of duty; but yet we must all tread it as +unflinchingly as we may, looking for strength where only it can be +found. To you has been confided a great and important mission. You have +the opportunity of doing great things for the Holy Church. You have that +great and glorious object in view, and you are, moreover, filled with +the pious hope of saving a lost soul, and that the soul of your erring +brother. It is a task which the angels themselves might be glad to +perform. To the Church is given all power here, to bind and to loose, +and, for your sakes, I have promised you that your brother's errors +shall be passed over. Prayers are offered up that he may be forgiven; +and when the time comes, rest assured that at least no testimony shall +be made against him; and that if the Church cannot bless, it will at +least not curse the mistaken one. Every allowance has been and will be +made for his youth at the time he forsook the right path, and the strong +influences brought to bear upon him; his life has been, as you have +testified in your letters, save as to this grievous falling off, an +exemplary one; and I trust that, when at last stricken with illness, he +will turn back as a wandering sheep to the fold. These, my sisters, are +the inducements--a lost soul to be saved, the Church to be strengthened. +Not often are such inducements offered. But," and here he raised and +hardened his voice, "it is not by inducements only that the Church acts, +but by orders and threatenings. Upon you a certain burden has been +placed, hard to bear, perhaps, but not beyond your strength. From this +task you must not shrink; your private wishes are as nothing in the +balance. You have a duty, and would fain escape it to pass your life in +the way it would please you in a convent; you would say, to serve God +there, but He will not be so served; He has given you another sphere, +other tasks. The convent is for those who see no path of active +usefulness traced out for them--not for such as you. Who can tell what +may yet occur? I at first acceded to your request, and allowed you to +retire from the world, until your nephew's death clearly indicated that +Providence had not destined the property of the Church to pass from the +apostate father to the heretic son. Then your path of duty was clear; +and although at present the future looks dark, although your brother is +obstinate in his recusancy, and although he may talk of leaving his +property to others, yet the case is by no means hopeless. He may repent +and turn; this girl whom he has adopted may displease him; he may die +without a will. These and many other contingencies may arise, but until +his death your task cannot be ended." + +"But he is younger than we are; he may survive us both," the elder +sister said. + +"He may, but he may not; but that does not alter your path of duty," the +bishop answered. "But one thing I will concede. Just at present your +presence in England can do little or no good. You have my consent, +therefore, to your entering a religious house, and remaining there until +you shall hear, from the person whom you have informed me has undertaken +to let you know what is passing there, that some change has taken place, +either in his sentiments towards this girl, or in his health. This may +be weeks, months, or even years. When that word comes, you must be +prepared to go instantly back, and to do whatever I, or any one who may +speak in my name to you, may direct you." + +"Thank you, dear father," the elder sister said, while even Angela +acquiesced mutely; "to this we are ready, quite ready, to agree. We know +the importance of our success to the Church; we grieve over seeing the +property pass away into the hands of others; and I, for my part, seem to +feel a presentiment that the time will come before long when we shall be +successful. Three times, lately, Robert and Edward have come to me in my +sleep, and have told me to hope on, for that the light will yet shine +through the darkness. You have yourself told me, father, that there is +much in dreams." + +"Undoubtedly, sister; the Church has in all ages maintained that at +times revelations are made to the faithful in dreams, and by +apparitions, at which the vulgar mock. And now return to your hotel. You +shall hear from me in the course of the day; and if, as I believe, you +would rather be within reach of my ministration, than go among +strangers, I will speak to the superior of an establishment here, who +will, I am sure, gladly receive you as inmates." + +Again the sisters knelt before him, and received his blessing, and then +returned through the quiet streets of Ravenna to their hotel. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +SOCIETY GRACIOUSLY CONDESCENDS. + + +For upwards of a year after Mr. Harmer had spoken to papa relative to +the intended disposition of his property, the matter was not mentioned +to any one, but was known only to Dr. and Mrs. Ashleigh, my brother +Harry, himself, and his sisters. At the end of that time he made public +his intentions, and spoke of them openly. He did this for reasons +connected with Sophy Needham, for whom he was desirous of obtaining +suitable society. At the time the matter gave papa a good deal of +annoyance. Much as he was generally liked and esteemed, there were +people found, as there always are found upon every occasion, who made +ill-natured remarks upon our good fortune, and who really seemed by +their talk to be personally aggrieved at Mr. Harmer's kind intentions +towards us. Had they been asked why they were so, they probably could +not have replied; for as Mr. Harmer had--with the exception of his +sisters, who were amply provided for--no relation in the world, it was +evident that there was no one who could be considered as wronged or +injured by this disposition of his property. However, so it was; and, +although papa received the sincere congratulations of all his old +friends, I think he felt a good deal the ill-natured remarks, which came +to his ears, of people for whose opinion I should have thought he would +have cared nothing whatever. I was rather surprised at this; for if +there was one person more than another who had by his whole life and +conduct showed that he did not care for money, it was papa. He might, +therefore, have well afforded to laugh at such accusations as this; but +I suppose no one, however conscious of rectitude, likes to be spoken ill +of, even by people whom he despises, and whose opinion about others he +would treat with contempt. + +This was not, however, of long continuance, for, as far as we were +concerned, the talk and wonder soon died away, and things settled down +into their usual state; but it was not so as regarded Sophy Needham. The +announcement that she was to be the heiress of half of Mr. Harmer's +large fortune, elicited the greatest reprobation and disgust among the +very portion of the population who had been most cordial in their +congratulations as to the destination of the other half; namely, among +the country gentry, the clergy--a very numerous and powerful body in +Canterbury,--the professional men, and respectabilities of the place. + +"To think that that girl,--that----[and they called poor Sophy very hard +names],--that young person, should be raised up into one of the richest +heiresses of that part of the country, was a scandal to morality and an +outrage to public decency. Her elevation was offering a premium to +immorality among the lower orders. Did Mr. Harmer suppose that a person +of that kind, however wealthy, would be received into society? No, +indeed; the thing was quite out of the question." + +This was the first outburst of opinion among the upper two hundred of +Canterbury. + +By degrees, finding that Mr. Harmer did not concern himself greatly with +what was said about him, and that he showed no sign of changing his +declared intentions in deference to the popular voice, society gave up +talking so much about it; but its opinion was, it declared, unchangeable +as to the objectionable nature of his conduct. + +I think it likely that Mr. Harmer, who loved peace and quiet above all +things, would have suffered matters to remain as they were; but papa had +a serious talk with him on the subject. He pointed out that Sophy was +now eighteen years old, that the mere declaration of Mr. Harmer's +intentions towards her had not been of any use in procuring her friends +of her own age, and that, for her sake, he ought to again re-enter +society. She was growing up knowing nothing of the world; and should +anything happen to Mr. Harmer, she, being left entirely unprotected and +alone, would fall an easy prey to some fortune-hunter of the worst kind, +and her fortune would thus, instead of a benefit, turn out a positive +evil to her. + +Mr. Harmer acknowledged the truth of all this, and agreed with the +doctor, that reluctant as he felt to change his present studious and +retired mode of life, he ought still, for her sake, to make an effort to +re-enter society. + +Accordingly, the next day he ordered his carriage, and made a long round +of visits to his old friends in the town and precincts; for, although he +had ceased to visit, he had still kept up a casual acquaintance with +those he had before known, and indeed had met many of them during his +frequent visits to papa. + +Mr. Harmer's calls were everywhere received with pleasure, and his +frank, winning manner seemed at once to place him upon a familiar +footing with those of his friends with whom he had once been such a +favourite. He apologized for the hermit life he had so long led; said +that circumstances had induced him to determine to abandon it, and that +he hoped that they, their wives, and daughters would show that they +forgave him by calling at Harmer Place. But at the end of the day, if +well satisfied with the reception he had personally met with, he was +unable to persuade himself that he had made the slightest progress, as +far as Sophy--who was the real object of his visits--was concerned. A +cordial invitation had been in each instance given him to repeat his +calls, but in no case had more than an evasive answer been returned in +reply to his invitation to the ladies of the family. + +On the day succeeding these visits the interchange of calls which took +place at Canterbury was quite without precedent. The great question +which every one had to ask was, "Should they go over to Harmer Place to +call upon Sophy Needham?" It would hardly have been supposed necessary +to have asked a question upon which they had, three months before, +decided unanimously in the negative; but then it is so easy to say you +will not do a thing before you have been asked--so very difficult to +refuse when you are. Indeed, many of the Canterbury ladies were now +sorry that they had spoken so very decidedly, and were ready to admit +that there was really a good deal to be said in favour of calling upon +the poor girl. + +However, fortunately for these vaccillating creatures, and happily for +the propriety and strict respectability of the town, the heads of the +society, from whose dicta there was no appeal, sternly said that such a +thing was, of course, out of the question; and society in general +naturally followed suit, repressed a little sigh of regret, and agreed +that it was quite out of the question. Had the population of Canterbury +been differently proportioned to what it was, the answer might have been +otherwise. Had there been young men in the place, who might have won the +heiress, their mothers might have rebelled against the edict of +exclusion, and for their sons' sake have called upon Sophy Needham; but, +as I shall explain in its proper place, there were no young men in +Canterbury, and therefore no motive for any one to rebel against +constituted authority, or to outrage propriety by calling at Harmer +Place. + +Papa, when informed of this decision, was very indignant and angry--much +more so than he had been by the recent aspersions on himself. He even +went so far as to say, that if this were Christian charity, he would +rather fall among heathens. He exerted himself to the utmost to bring +matters about, but the other ladies would not call unless the ladies of +the precincts did, and the ladies of the precincts would not. However, +it was not papa's way to give up anything he had once undertaken, and he +accordingly one day sat down and wrote as follows:-- + + "My dear old Friend, + + "Although our correspondence has been pretty regular, it is now + three years since we met, and I want you, your wife, and + daughter to come down and stay a week with us, either before or + after Christmas, as may suit you best. Your diocese can, I am + sure, do without you for a little while, and I know you will be + glad to see again the old place, where you lived so long; and + it would give us all great pleasure to enjoy your society once + more. At the same time, I tell you frankly that it is in your + power to confer a great favour and benefit both upon myself and + upon another old friend of yours, Herbert Harmer. + + "You will remember he brought up the child his son left behind + him, that he sent her to school, and, in fact, adopted her as + his own. All this happened when you were here. In my last + letter I told you that he intended to leave her half his + fortune, about L75,000. He is now naturally anxious to + introduce her into society, in order that she may see the + world, and make some suitable match, as otherwise the poor girl + would, at his death, be nearly certain to be snapped up by some + worthless fortune-hunter. Now you will hardly believe me when I + tell you that the Christian matrons of this town shake their + garments at the poor child, and insist that her presence would + be a contamination to the pure atmosphere they breathe. + + "Sophy is a quiet, modest, ladylike girl, and I am greatly + interested in her. But here I can do nothing. I am sure that + the great proportion of the ladies would be willing enough to + call upon her, but they are like society in general--a mere + flock of sheep, who will only follow where the bell-wethers + lead them. Now, the two or three ladies who act in that + capacity to Canterbury society consider that this poor little + lamb will taint the whole flock, and therefore pronounce her + infect and excommunicated. + + "My dear old friend, I rely upon you and your kind wife to take + off the ban these Pharisees have lain upon her. If you will + both go over, during your stay here, to call upon her, + Canterbury will be only too glad to do the same. If a bishop + and his lady pronounce her visitable, who shall say them nay? I + know, old friend, that in the eyes of yourself and your wife + the sin of this poor girl's parents will not affect her. She is + not to blame, and why should their faults be visited upon her? + But I know that upon this head I need say nothing. Your wide + views of Christian love and charity are so well known, that any + word upon the subject would be superfluous. If you will do + this, my dear bishop, you will confer an inestimable benefit + upon Herbert Harmer and his grand-daughter; and you will very + greatly oblige, + + "Yours, very truly, + + "ALFRED ASHLEIGH." + +All turned out as papa had hoped. The bishop, with his wife and +daughter, came down to spend a week with us. The day after they arrived +we had a perfect levee of visitors; and when the room was at its +fullest, Mr. Harmer came in, being, of course, in complete ignorance +that the visit had been principally brought about for his especial +benefit. The bishop greeted him warmly, for they mutually esteemed and +liked each other. + +"I am very glad, Mr. Harmer, to hear from our friend, the doctor, that +you have given up your hermit-mode of life, and are going out into the +world again. I suppose all these years you have been hoarding up +treasures: your house must be a perfect scientific museum by this time; +and the doctor tells me that your library is nearly perfect, of its +kind. I must really come over some day before I leave and inspect your +collection." + +Mr. Harmer expressed the gratification the visit would afford him. + +"I shall certainly come," the bishop went on; "it will give me great +pleasure. Let me see. To-morrow I shall be engaged in calls upon my +friends in the town; suppose we say the day after. What do you say, my +dear?" he asked, raising his voice, to his wife, who was sitting on the +other side of the room, "I am going over the day after to-morrow to see +Mr. Harmer's museum and library; will you and Gertude accompany me? Your +adopted daughter," he added, turning to Mr. Harmer, "must be growing +quite a young woman by this time." + +"Certainly, my dear," his wife answered, "I should like it very much." + +Mr. Harmer's face flushed with pleasure, and he wrung the bishop's hand. +It was easy to see that he felt the kindness, and saw the true motive of +the offer to brings his wife and daughter to Harmer Place. As to the +remainder of those present, they were simply astounded. The buzz of +conversation ceased throughout the room, and a dead silence ensued. As +for myself, I should certainly have laughed out loud--had not the +silence been so great that I dared not do so--at the general look of +dismay in the female faces, and of rather amusement on the part of the +gentlemen, who I could guess had been vainly urging their wives to call. +The conversation presently became general again, but the effort was too +great to be continued long; and in a very few minutes most of those +present took their leave, only to be succeeded by fresh callers, until +half-past four, after which hour it was the strict etiquette of +Canterbury that no visits were permissible. + +On the appointed day the visit was paid. I accompanied them in the +carriage, and papa rode on horseback. + +The Miss Harmers were away, as, indeed, had been the case since Sophy +had left school and taken up her permanent residence there. Sophy was +pale, and evidently very nervous; and in her manifest desire to please +it was easy to see that she was much affected, and deeply grateful for +the kindness which would be the means of removing the disadvantages +under which she had laboured, and which had weighed much upon her mind. +However, before the visit, which lasted some time, as the library and +collection of scientific apparatus had to be inspected, was over, she +had recovered her usual placid demeanour. + +This visit had the consequences which papa had predicted from it. +Society unanimously agreed that although certainly it was a strange, a +very strange step for the bishop and his lady to have taken, still as +they had done so, there could be no harm in every one else doing the +same; in fact that it would only be what was right and proper. The +ladies whom papa had rather irreverently spoken of in his letter as the +bell-wethers of the flock, held out to the last and declared that they +could not reconcile it to their conscience, or to their sense of what +was due to their husbands' position. But the flock were no longer +obedient to their lead, and indeed whispered amongst themselves, that a +bishop's lady, who was moreover the daughter of a peeress, must know a +good deal better what was proper and right than a mere canon's wife +could do; and the consequence was that from that moment the influence of +these ladies over Canterbury society waned much, and the opposition to +poor Sophy recoiled upon the heads of those who had made it. In a short +time every one in Canterbury and the neighbourhood called at Harmer +Place, and the general verdict upon Sophy was decidedly satisfactory. +She was pronounced quiet, self-composed, and ladylike; and indeed Sophy +evinced none of that nervousness which she had shown upon the occasion +of the bishop's visit. To him she felt she owed all; to these people +nothing. So, although perfectly polite and courteous, she was yet +composed and tranquil; and some of the ladies who had called, quite +prepared to be very patronizing and kind, found any such line of conduct +completely out of the question. There was a quiet dignity and self +possession about her which became her much. She was the well-bred +hostess receiving her grandfather's guests, and few girls enacting such +a part for the first time could have played it so well. + +For three or four months after the bishop's visit had given the signal +for society to admit Sophy Needham within its circle, the intercourse +was restricted to morning calls of an extremely formal nature, which +seemed by no means likely to bring about the result, to obtain which Mr. +Harmer had emerged from his solitude; he made up his mind, therefore, to +break the ice, which again seemed setting over the surface of the +Canterbury society, by giving a series of picnics and open air fetes. +The first of these took place early in June, when I was away at school; +but I heard full particulars of it upon my return. The whole of the +inhabitants of Canterbury and the neighbourhood whose position rendered +them eligible were invited, together with the officers of the garrison, +a very necessary addition at Canterbury, where dancing young men are +almost unknown. A large marquee was erected and boarded for dancing, a +quadrille band brought down from London, and the military band engaged +for the afternoon. Archery butts were set up, bowling-greens mowed and +rolled, and coloured lamps placed in all the walks, to be illuminated +after dusk. People met at between three and four, had a substantial tea +at six, and a magnificent supper at eleven. Nothing, in short, which +taste and an unlimited purse could do, was neglected, and the result was +a splendid success. And yet early in the evening a difference had arisen +which would have marred the pleasure of the whole scene had it not been +for the firmness of Mr. Harmer. It seemed that soon after nine o'clock +when it began to get dusk, some of the ladies of the precincts had +objected strongly to the coloured lamps which had just been lighted, and +which began to sparkle in the trees and grass by the side of the various +walks. Not in themselves, for they allowed the effect to be very pretty; +but as offering inducements and pretexts for isolated couples to stroll +away, and get entirely beyond maternal supervision. Two of the ladies +waited upon Mr. Harmer as a sort of deputation from the others, and it +happened that one of them was the chief of the party who had opposed +Sophy Needham's introduction into society, but who had at last come to +the conclusion that, as others were going, it would be showing a want of +Christian feeling to refuse to do as others did. These ladies recited to +Mr. Harmer the objections they entertained, and concluded-- + +"The lighted walks will tempt the young people to stroll away and get +quite out of our sight, and as all these thoughtless officers are sure +to persuade them to walk there, it will lead to all sorts of silly +nonsense and flirtation." + +"My dear ladies," Mr. Harmer said, "as to the result I entirely agree +with you, and as I, although I am an old fellow now, do like to see +young people enjoying themselves, it is precisely for the very reason +that you have alleged that I have had the garden lighted up." + +There was nothing to reply to this, but one of the ladies said rather +angrily-- + +"Of course, Mr. Harmer, you can do as you like, but we shall forbid our +daughters to walk there." + +"My dear madam," Mr. Harmer said, gently, "you can equally of course do +as you please; but it appears to me, and it will appear to every one +else, if you issue such an order, that you can have but a very poor +opinion of, and very slight confidence in, the principles of your +daughters. You show, in fact, that you cannot trust them to stroll for a +few minutes, with gentlemen they have never met before, in well-lighted +walks, where there will be dozens of other couples similarly enjoying +themselves. Were I in your place, I should hesitate greatly before I +laid such a serious imputation upon my children." + +The deputation retired greatly crestfallen, and the result was that for +that evening the young Canterbury girls were for the first time in their +lives nearly emancipated from maternal supervision, and enjoyed the +evening proportionately, flirting with a zest all the greater for its +being an amusement indulged in for the first time, and making their +mothers' hearts swell, and their mothers' hair figuratively stand on end +at such unheard of goings on. Another consequence of the lighted walks +was that many families of girls who had never hitherto been allowed to +dance except in quadrilles, now found themselves allowed to waltz as +they pleased. Not that their mothers' views of the extreme impropriety +of such dances had undergone any change; but that of two evils they +chose the least, and thought it better to have their daughters waltzing +under their eyes, than that they should be wandering away altogether +beyond their ken. + +Why is it that mothers are so much stricter than fathers? It is certain +that it is so, and upon this occasion, while the mothers were inwardly +bewailing the conduct of their daughters, the fathers, although many of +them clergymen, were looking on with beaming faces on the young people +enjoying themselves so thoroughly; and more than one would have been +delighted, could such a thing have been permitted, to have put his +clerical dignity aside, and his clerical white neckcloth into his +pocket, and to have joined heartily in the fun. + +They did what they could to add to the general enjoyment, and several +times some of them gathered into a little knot, with two or three of +their wives, and sung some old glees--"Five times by the taper's light," +"The winds whistle cold," and "The chough and crow;" and splendidly they +sang them too. They had some famous voices among them, and I do not +think I have ever heard those fine old glees better sung than I have +heard them at Canterbury. + +Sophy, of course, attracted much attention throughout the evening, and +was constantly the centre of a little group of officers, not a few of +whom would have been very willing to have turned their swords into +ploughshares for her sake, and to have devoted their lives to the care +of her and her possessions. + +Sophy, however, by no means appeared to reciprocate their feelings in +her favour. She was naturally of a quiet and retiring disposition, and +did not care for dancing; and therefore, under the excuse of attending +to her guests, she danced very little; when she did so, her conversation +was so simple and straightforward, that any attempt at flirting upon the +part of her partners was out of the question. Altogether, although the +success of the fete was brilliant, as the officers agreed on their way +back to barracks, and that nothing could have been better done, still, +as far as Sophy was concerned--and several of them had previously +announced their intention of going in for the heiress, and had even +exchanged bets upon the subject--the affair was a failure. However, they +consoled themselves that there was plenty of time yet, especially as Mr. +Harmer had announced at supper, that another fete would take place that +day six weeks, upon the 28th of July, to which he invited all friends. + +This fete completely roused Canterbury from its usual lethargy, as Mr. +Harmer's return to the abode of his father had done twenty years before. +Every one gave parties; picnics upon a large scale were organized to +different places in the neighbourhood, and the officers of the garrison +gave a ball. + +At the second of Mr. Harmer's fetes Polly and I were present, as it came +off just at the end of our holidays. I need not describe it, as it was +in most respects similar to the first, and was just as great a success. +I enjoyed myself very much, and danced a great deal with the officers, +who did not seem to consider my being a schoolgirl any bar to me as a +partner, as I had expected that they would have done. When not dancing I +amused myself in watching Sophy. I knew that Mr. Harmer wished her to +marry, and I was interested to see with what sort of a man she was +likely to be taken. But Sophy was so quiet, that she did not seem to +care in the least with whom she danced, or to evince the slightest +preference for any one. There was, however, one thing I noticed, and +that puzzled me a good deal at the time. I never spoke to any one about +it, but as events turned out, I afterwards bitterly regretted that I had +not done so. I noticed early in the evening a remarkably handsome man, +standing by himself, and watching Sophy as she danced. I did not know +him, and asked a lady next to me, who he was. + +"That is Robert Gregory, my dear, the son of Mr. Gregory, the +hop-factor, who died about two years ago. He was thought to have been a +wealthy man, but he died worth next to nothing. It was supposed that +this son of his--who is, I am told, one of the most idle and worthless +young men in the country--squandered it all away. He was absent some +years in London, and went on terribly there, and it is said that his +poor old father was silly and weak enough to ruin himself paying the +worthless fellow's debts. I am surprised to meet such a person in +respectable society; but I suppose Mr. Harmer knew nothing about him, +and only invited him as the son of a man who stood well in the town." + +Robert Gregory was certainly a very handsome man, of a powerful build, +about twenty eight years old. But as I watched him, his face seemed to +me, not to be a pleasant one, but to have a bold and defiant expression. +It might be merely the effect of what I had just heard; but certainly +the more I looked at the man the more I felt repelled by him. He was +still watching Sophy, and as I mechanically followed the direction of +his gaze, I distinctly observed her, to my intense surprise, glance two +or three times in his direction, not mere ordinary glances, which might +fall upon any one, but positive stolen looks, which rested upon him, and +were unmistakably in answer to his. After this I could not help watching +them whenever I was not dancing, and I observed her once or twice in the +course of the evening, as she passed by where he stood, exchange a word +or two with him, not naturally and openly, but speaking as she walked +past, so that no one, not watching as I was doing, would have noticed +it. + +I thought, as I have said, a good deal about it at the time. I did not +like to speak to papa upon such a subject, as it might seem like prying, +and, had there been nothing in it, it would have caused a great deal of +unpleasantness; still, I do think that I should finally have done so, +under promise of secrecy, had I not started for school next day. Before +Christmas came round, when I left school and came back for good, I had +forgotten all about the circumstance, and even had I not done so, should +certainly not have mentioned it after all that lapse of time. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD. + + +About three months after I left school for good I received an invitation +to go up to London and stay for a month with Ada Desborough. This was a +great event. Ada told me that her mother was going to give a grand ball, +at which she was to come out, and that I should be formally introduced +to the world upon the same occasion; and she remarked that she flattered +herself that society in general ought to rejoice at the advent of two +such charming votaries at its shrine. She added, in a postscript, that +her brother Percy would be at home on leave. + +I was, of course, delighted at the prospect of a month of real London +life, with its balls and operas, and looked forward to my visit as if +going into fairy-land. Mr. Harmer, when he heard of my invitation, made +me a very handsome present to buy myself dresses fitted for the +occasion. I had, therefore, a fortnight of excitement and preparation, +as my morning and walking dresses were made at Canterbury; but my +ball-dresses were ordered of a London dressmaker, as mamma thought that +Canterbury fashions would not do for me at Lady Desborough's. + +At last all was ready, and I started for town. Papa put me in charge of +a lady of his acquaintance, who was also going to London, and then said +good-bye, with many comic injunctions as to my behaviour in good +society. + +Nothing particular happened on our journey to London, and when I got out +at the station, a tall footman, whose face I remembered, came up and +touched his hat, and asked what luggage I had. + +Lady Desborough had sent her carriage to meet me, and I began to realize +the fact that I had all at once become a young woman. + +I felt a little flurried when we drew up at the house in Eaton Square, +and the tall footman knocked at the door, in a way I thought +unnecessarily loud and important. + +However, I soon felt at home when Ada came flying downstairs into the +hall, and kissed me as warmly as she had done three months before when +we parted at Miss Pilgrim's. + +"Come along, Agnes, dear; never mind your things; they will be all +brought up safe. Your room is next to mine, with a door between, so we +shall be able to talk as much as we like. Mamma is not very well, and is +lying down, and you will not see her till dinner-time, so I have got you +all to myself for three hours. There, that is your room, and this is +mine." + +Very snug and comfortable they looked, with two large fires blazing in +the grates, which gave a cosy look to the rooms, and caused me to forget +the unusual grandeur of the furniture; for I should, I think, have +otherwise felt not a little awe-struck, it was all so very different +from my quiet old-fashioned low-ceiled room, with its white hangings, +down in Canterbury. + +However, I had no time to notice much then, for Ada, in her impulsive +way, was already occupied in taking off my wraps; this done, she again +kissed me, and then made me seat myself in a chair in front of the fire, +while she nestled down on a low stool beside me. + +"There, Agnes, now you will get warm again. Do you know you are looking +very well after your journey, and are certainly even prettier than when +I saw you last. I begin to think I was very foolish to have you here at +all: you will quite eclipse poor little me." + +I laughed at the nonsense she was talking, for Ada was one of the +loveliest girls I ever saw, and I--well, I believe I was pretty, but +certainly nothing to compare to Ada. We chatted merrily over old times, +and then Ada gave me the list of our engagements, which quite frightened +me, at the number of titled people I was going to visit. At last it was +time to get ready for dinner; so I went into my own room, where I found +Ada's maid had already unpacked my boxes, and put all my things away +ready for use into the drawers and wardrobes. I was therefore able to +take my time dressing, talking to Ada the while through the open door. + +When we went down into the drawing-room ready for dinner, we found Percy +sitting reading by the light of the bright fire. He must have heard the +rustle of our dresses as we entered, but he continued reading to the +last moment; then closing his book, reluctantly as it were, rose to +speak to us. As he did so he gave quite a start; he had evidently +expected to meet the schoolgirl he had seen nearly two years before, +looking demure and half frightened at his mamma's presence, and I +certainly felt flattered at the evident surprise and admiration his face +expressed when his eyes fell upon me. It was my first effect, and I +could not help colouring up and feeling gratified. + +"I need not say how do you do, Miss Ashleigh," he said, coming forward +to shake hands with me. "Your looks speak for themselves. I should +hardly have known you; how you have grown, and how very pretty you have +become." + +I coloured high in laughing confusion, and Ada said, coming to my +relief, "Really, Percy, how sadly _gauche_ and unpolished you are in +your way of paying compliments: the idea of telling a young lady just +come out, that she has grown very pretty; just the sort of thing you +might have said to a little child, or a milkmaid. You might have +conveyed the idea, which in itself is true and unexceptionable, in some +delicate way in which it would have been acceptable. Grown pretty, +indeed! You never had much manners, Percy, but the Lancers certainly +have not improved you." + +"I really beg your pardon, Miss Ashleigh," he said, colouring almost as +much as I had done, "but I felt so much surprised for a moment at the +change in you, that I was obliged to express myself in the most +straightforward way: had what I said been less true, I should have put +it into some different form." + +"That is better, Percy," Ada said, approvingly. + +"Agnes, make one of your best Grendon House curtsies." + +I swept to the ground in a deep reverence, and then having quite +recovered my confusion by seeing Percy embarrassed by Ada's attack, I +was able to take my own part in the conversation; and--accustomed as I +was to wordy skirmishes with papa and Harry--with Ada on my side, we +soon completely silenced Percy, who, indeed, in a war of words, was no +match for either of us alone. + +Percy Desborough was, in my opinion, a handsome man; and yet, perhaps, +as I am prejudiced in his favour, my opinion may not be worth much, and +I do not think girls in general would have thought him so. He was now +nearly twenty-three, about middle height, rather slight, with a lithe, +sinewy figure: very upright. His brown hair was brushed back with a wave +from his forehead, for in the year of grace, 1848, young men had not +taken to cutting their hair like convicts, or charity boys. He had a +thoughtful and yet a quick eye, a firm, resolute mouth, and a white and +thin, but very nervous hand. He looked a soldier every inch, of the type +of which our Indian heroes are made; thoughtful, studious men, with warm +hearts, and iron resolutions, with manners quiet and gentle, but with +the fiery courage of a Bayard. He was as far removed from the ordinary +drawing-room soldier as can well be; men who, doubtless, when necessity +comes, are, as every English gentleman must be, brave as far as personal +courage goes, but who care little for their military duties, contenting +themselves with going through the daily routine, reserving all their +best energies for the evening. Men with a rather supercilious smile, and +languid air, with a great flow of small talk and compliments: men much +given to stroking their moustache and whiskers, and with an amazing idea +of their own powers of fascination; not, indeed, that I blame them for +that, for we girls do make such fools of them, that it is no wonder they +should consider that as far as we are concerned they are invincible. +Percy was, on the other hand, almost shy with women, and was very +studious, especially in all matters relating to his profession. He +expected, Ada told me, to embark for India with his regiment in about a +year's time, and he was working very hard at Hindostanee and the other +Eastern languages, in order to qualify himself for a staff appointment. + +Lady Desborough presently came down. She was extremely gracious and +cordial, and, although it was not more than six months since she had +seen me, she assured me that I had very much improved, especially in +figure and carriage,--the points, she observed, in which young girls +generally fail; and she said she should be quite proud of two such +belles as Ada and myself to introduce into society. + +We dined earlier than usual, and did not sit so long at the table. This +was a great relief to me, as I hardly felt enough at home to have quite +recovered from my old sense of oppression at the extreme stateliness of +the meal. The reason for this change was, that we were going to the +opera in the evening. We had dressed for it before dinner, so that there +was no time lost, and we entered Lady Desborough's box a little before +the overture began. Lady Desborough insisted on us girls taking the +front seats. She sat between us, but rather farther back, while Percy +stood sometimes behind Ada, sometimes behind me. + +While the overture was going on, Ada told me to look down upon the sea +of heads below. It was wonderful, but yet a little confusing, there were +so many men looking up with opera-glasses, and a great many of them +seemed gazing right into our box. + +"How very rude they are, Ada!" + +Ada laughed. She had often been there before, and was accustomed to it. + +"My dear, it is the greatest possible compliment to us. All these +lorgnettes turned to our box proclaim us indisputable belles. Men would +not take the trouble to look at us if we were not pretty. There, child, +don't colour up so; the only way is to look perfectly indifferent, as if +you were quite unconscious of it." + +It was easy advice to give, and I followed it to the best of my power; +but I felt very hot and uncomfortable till the curtain drew up, and then +I was too entirely absorbed in the music to have noticed it, even if the +whole house had been looking at me. + +It was to me an evening of enchantment. The opera was "Lucrezia Borgia," +with Alboni as Orsini, and I had never before conceived it possible that +the human voice was capable of producing such exquisite full liquid +notes as those which poured from her, seemingly without the slightest +effort. It was marvellous, and I was literally enchanted; and even +between the acts I did not recover sufficiently from the effect it +produced on me to listen to Ada, who wanted to talk, and tell me who +every one was in the different boxes. + +When we reached home, Lady Desborough said it was quite a treat going +with any one who enjoyed herself as thoroughly as I did. The first time +Ada went she did not seem to care in the least about the music, and only +occupied herself in asking who all the people were. + +The next day we went for a drive in the park, and I was quite astonished +and delighted at the number and beauty of the carriages and horses; for +in our walks at school, we had only kept in the secluded parts of the +park and gardens, and had never been allowed to go near the fashionable +quarters. It was quite a new pleasure to me. But whatever I felt, I knew +it was right and proper to sit quite still, and to look passive and +quiet as Ada did, especially as numbers of ladies in carriages bowed to +Lady Desborough, and men on horseback lifted their hats, or sometimes +rode up to the carriage and spoke. Ada knew most of them by name, but +very few to speak to, as her mamma had not been in the habit of taking +her out to drive with her, or of introducing her to any one, as she was +not yet out. But now as we were to appear the next evening in public, +Lady Desborough introduced several of the gentlemen to us, and some of +them rode for a little way by the side of the carriage, talking to her +ladyship, and sometimes exchanging a few words with Ada and myself. That +evening we were a quiet little party, and after Ada and I had played +some of our old school duets together, we went to bed quite early, in +order to be fresh for the next day's fatigues. + +What an exciting day that was! Early in the morning Gunter's men came +and took possession of the dining-room, turning it completely upside +down. A large cartload of benches and tressels came at the same time, +and they took the dining-table away, and erected a large horse-shoe +table in its place. In the mean time the upholsterer's men were hard at +work in the drawing-room. First they removed all the furniture from it; +then they took out the window-sashes, and erected a most lovely little +tent over the whole balcony, lined with white and blue muslin, and +furnished with couches, forming a most charming place to go out into +between the dances. Having done this, they stretched a drugget over both +drawing-rooms, and placed forms round the room. As soon as they were +gone, Ada and I came into it, and performed a waltz on the drugget, +which was pronounced stretched to perfection. About this time Percy +arrived from Covent Garden, where he had been to see that the flowers +which had been previously ordered were coming. Scarcely had he arrived +when two carts drove up to the door full of them. We thereupon formed +ourselves into a council of taste, and the flowers were distributed +under our supervision in the hall, in the room behind the +dining-room--which was to be for tea and ices--on the landings of the +staircase, and in the grates of the drawing-rooms. The conservatory had +been filled the day before, and a perfumed fountain from Rimmel's, +placed there to play during the evening. When all was done, we +pronounced the effect to be charming. Lady Desborough, at Ada's request, +came down from her room, where she had been all the morning, to inspect +the arrangements, which she pronounced exceedingly good. Indeed it +looked extremely well, for the drawing-rooms, which were very large and +handsome, had been repapered specially for the occasion, Lady Desborough +being determined that nothing should be wanting, and their effect, with +the pretty tent outside, and the large boudoir opening from the farther +end, was really lovely. When she had inspected everything, she said that +she particularly wished us to lie down for a time in the afternoon, and +to get a short sleep if possible, if not to take a book, but at all +events to keep quiet, in order that we might be fresh in the evening. +This advice we of course had to follow, but it was very unpalatable to +us both, as we were girls enough to enjoy all the bustle immensely; +still there was no help for it; and so we went up to our rooms, where +lunch, by Lady Desborough's orders, was brought up to us. After that we +lay down, but I don't think either of us closed our eyes. I am sure I +was far too excited at the thought of the evening before me. Presently +Ada came into my room, and said that lying down was out of the question, +so we wheeled two easy chairs before the fire, and sat there and chatted +quietly. + +By six o'clock the supper was all laid, under the superintendence of +Gunter's managing man himself, and the effect, when we went in to see it +on our way down to dinner in the back dining-room, was certainly superb. +Even Lady Desborough condescended to express her conviction to Gunter's +managing man, that nothing could be better. + +After this, the house subsided into quiet, and soon after seven we went +up to dress. We had thus nearly three hours before us, as it was quite +certain no one would come before ten; and I confess I did not see how we +could possibly occupy all that, and was half inclined to side with Percy +in his remarks as to the absurdity of our being so long at our toilet. +However, Ada paid no attention to what he said, and, of course, I went +up-stairs with her. It was very pleasant up there, and we chatted a long +time, sitting before Ada's fire, before we made any signs of beginning +to dress. + +Presently a knock at the door interrupted us, and we were told that the +hairdresser was below. + +"I will go down first, Agnes; you get on with your dressing. I shall not +be twenty minutes at most." + +While I was dressing a small parcel was brought up, which had been left +at the door for me. It contained a note and a small jewel-box. The note +was from Messrs. Hunt and Roskell, saying, "That they had received +orders from Mr. Harmer, of Canterbury, to send me a cross, the choice of +which he had left with them, and a small chain to suspend it round my +neck. That they trusted the jewel would give me satisfaction; but that, +if I wished, they would exchange it for any other in their shop, if I +would favour them with a call." The contents of the case were a small +cross, composed entirely of very large diamonds, of the value of which I +had no idea, but which looked very lovely, and a small chain to hang it +round my neck. I said nothing to Ada, although the door was open, as I +wished to surprise her. + +Ada's maid seemed a long time to me putting the finishing touches to my +dress; for I was not accustomed to all these little minutiae; but at last +it was done, and I turned round to go into Ada's room--she having been +dressed by Lady Desborough's own maid--when she came into the room to +me, and as she did so we uttered an exclamation of mutual admiration. +Ada certainly looked lovely; she was dressed in white silk, with white +tulle over it, which was looped up with scarlet flowers, and she had a +wreath of the same, with green leaves in her dark hair; round her neck +was a beautiful necklace of pearls of great value, which was, I believe, +a family heirloom. + +My dress, like hers, was of white silk, with a skirt of lovely Brussels +lace, a present from Mr. Harmer, over it. This was slightly looped up +with blue forget-me-nots, and I had a wreath of the same flowers in my +hair. + +"Oh Agnes," Ada exclaimed, after our first burst of mutual +congratulations was over, "Oh, Agnes, what a lovely diamond cross; where +did you get it from? you never showed it me before." + +I explained to her the manner in which I had just received it. + +"Well, Agnes, that Mr. Harmer of yours is a trump, as Percy would say. +What a beautiful thing. Have you any idea of the value of it?" + +I knew nothing of the value of diamonds, and suggested twenty pounds. + +"Twenty pounds, you silly child," Ada said; "you don't deserve to have +presents made you. If I know anything of diamonds, it is worth two +hundred." + +"You don't mean that, Ada," I exclaimed, quite frightened at the idea of +carrying such a valuable thing round my neck; "you are only laughing at +me." + +"I can assure you I am in earnest, Agnes; they are quite worth that; +they are splendid diamonds, and the cross looks quite a blaze of light +on your neck." + +We were down stairs by a quarter to ten. Percy was already there, and +paid us both many nonsensical compliments. Lady Desborough soon came +down, and also expressed herself highly pleased with our appearance. She +fully endorsed what Ada had said as to the value of the cross, and said +that it was worth more than Ada had put it at, perhaps nearly twice as +much. + +"Now," she said, when Percy had gone out of the room to fetch something +he had forgotten, "I wish to give you a last piece of advice. I give it +to you, Miss Ashleigh, as much as I do to Ada, for as you come out under +my charge, I consider myself as responsible for you equally. To you, +Ada, I say be very careful you do not let your high spirits run away +with you; above all, do not become noisy: I know well what your tendency +is. This does not apply to you, Miss Ashleigh, for although you have +good spirits, I know you are not likely to let them run away with you as +Ada is. Do not either of you, I beg, dance more than once, or at most +twice with any gentleman. This applies equally to you, Miss Ashleigh, as +the heiress to a considerable fortune. It is incumbent on you both to be +very careful with whom you dance,--I mean, dance frequently: there is +nothing more damaging to a girl than that her name should be mentioned +as seen flirting with any but a most eligible party; and as at present +you do not know who is who, you cannot be too careful." + +Here Percy's return interrupted any further advice which Lady Desborough +might have been disposed to have tendered us; and in a few minutes the +visitors began to arrive, and my first ball began. + +I may here mention, with reference to Lady Desborough's remark about my +being an heiress, that Clara Fairthorne had brought the news to school, +when Mr. Harmer's intentions with respect to us were publicly announced, +and from that time we were generally known there by the nickname of the +"heiresses." + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +THE OLD STORY. + + +I never enjoyed myself in my life as much as I did at that ball. Lady +Desborough introduced a good many of the first comers to me, and Percy +brought up more. He had engaged me for the first waltz, and he presently +asked me for the first polka after supper; and my card was soon quite +full for the whole evening. + +At some times I should have been sorry for this, as one does not like to +be obliged to refuse any very eligible looking man who may be introduced +to one. Besides, it prevents dancing a second dance with any +particularly pleasant partner,--that is, of course, unless one has the +coolness to turn out some one already on the list, which at that time I +certainly had not. + +But that night I preferred having fresh partners every dance. It was all +so new to me, and I wanted to see everything; and in this way I was less +engaged in interesting conversation, and was able to give more attention +to what was going on. + +It was a brilliant scene. The _elite_ of London society were there, and +very beautiful were many of the faces, and very exquisite the dresses. +Not one of them all through was more lovely than Ada, and almost every +one of my partners remarked to me how very lovely she was; indeed, she +made quite a sensation. + +The men I was not so much struck with. They were very +distinguished-looking and very gentlemanly and polished in +manner,--very, very different from what few young men there were at +Canterbury. But they had a languid air about them which impressed me +unpleasantly. They gave me the idea that they had gone out so much into +society that they had quite ceased to care for dancing, and that even +conversation was too much labour to be undertaken; and I knew it was bad +taste, but I certainly preferred as partners the officers I had met at +Canterbury to these languid young Guardsmen and scions of nobility. + +For myself, I could not understand how any one could help dancing with +spirit to that inspiring music; and the only drawback to my enjoyment +was that the rooms were so very full that one was dreadfully squeezed +and knocked about. However, on my venturing to remark to one of my +partners that the room was extremely full, I found that I knew nothing +about it, for he answered,-- + +"Dear me! Do you think so, now? Why, every one has been remarking to me +how pleasant it is that the rooms are not crowded." + +I found afterwards that my partner was right, and that I had shown my +ignorance; for, at some of the balls I went to afterwards, the crush was +so great that dancing was literally an impossibility. + +I felt very thankful I had been to the opera, for most of my partners, +on finding I was fresh from the country, asked that question, having, I +suppose, no other topic in common with me. Had I danced oftener than +once with some of them, no doubt my conversations would have been more +lively. As it was, with a few exceptions, they were not interesting. But +they all danced well, and that part I did enjoy most thoroughly. Most of +all I liked my dances with Percy, for he told me who every one was, and +did it really good naturedly, while some of my other partners, who had +done the same, had been as sarcastic and ill-natured about every one, as +if they thought that it must give me pleasure to hear other people run +down; whereas, when they were making depreciating remarks upon other +girls' dresses and manners, I could not but feel quite uncomfortable in +wondering what they would say about me presently. + +Percy managed to take me down to supper, carrying me off from my last +partner in a very dexterous manner; and, what was very nice, he managed +to get me a place next to Ada, who had been taken down by young Lord +Holmeskirk, a very pleasant young fellow in the Guards. Ada introduced +him to me at once, and he pleaded very hard for a dance after supper; I +told him that my card was full, but he urged it so much that I said at +last I would dance with him if he would manage it for me, but that I had +not the least idea how it was to be done. I may here say that he did so; +the second dance after supper, coming up to me as I was leaning on +Percy's arm, after my polka with him, and saying, in the quietest way, +"I believe I have the pleasure of this dance, Miss Ashleigh," he carried +me off immediately the music struck up, before my real partner, whoever +he was, could find me. Not being accustomed to this sort of thing, and +not having the least idea who it was I was engaged to, I felt quite +nervous and uncomfortable for the next dance or two, expecting that +every gentleman who came near me was on the point of reproaching me for +having broken my engagement to him. And, indeed, to the very end of my +stay in London, I could never bring myself, in spite of what Ada told me +about every one doing so, to turn off a partner in this way without +feeling that I was doing something very wrong. I dare say my conscience +would have been blunted in time, but as it was I never arrived at that +point. Lord Holmeskirk turned out the most pleasant partner of all I had +been introduced to, and I could chat with him with more freedom,--he was +so perfectly natural and unaffected. + +We were a very merry little group at supper; what I ate I have not the +slightest idea. Percy kept my plate constantly filled, but, with the +exception of strawberries and cream, I did not recognise a single thing +he gave me. Then we pulled crackers, and found the mottoes within them +of a singularly silly and unsatisfactory nature. + +At last we got up from supper, and went up to the drawing-room, and then +the gentlemen, at least those of them who were fortunate enough to find +seats, sat down; and when they once did so, I began to think they would +never come up again, they were such a terribly long time; and it seemed +such a waste to be sitting still doing nothing, with that splendid music +ready to go on again. While they were downstairs I was introduced to +several ladies, to whose houses I was going in the next few nights with +Lady Desborough and Ada. + +At last the gentlemen came up again, and we began to dance as if to make +up for lost time; for the dancing was certainly better than before +supper, and my partners more agreeable and chatty; besides, some of the +people had left, so that there was more room, and I enjoyed it +accordingly. I think every one else did the same, for there seemed to me +to be much more lively conversation and flirting going on than before +supper. + +I have said that I only danced once with each partner, but there was one +exception: this was Lord Bangley, a captain in the Guards. He was +introduced to me early in the evening, before my card was full, and he +begged so earnestly for two dances that I had no excuse for refusing +him; but of all the partners I had that evening, I disliked him +certainly the most. He was a handsome man, that I could not deny; but +that was all I could say for him. He was tall and very stiff--so stiff +that his head seemed set too far back--with a supercilious sneering +manner, a very harsh unpleasant voice, and an insufferable air of +arrogance and conceit. + +Ada told me next day that Lord Bangley had condescended to express to +her his great approval of my appearance and manner. I curtsied low when +Ada told me, but all that I could say was, "that the feeling was by no +means reciprocal." + +Presently the room began to thin in earnest, and there was a great noise +outside, in the intervals of the music, of shouting for carriages and +prancing of horses; and then, in a very short time, they were all gone, +and there remained in the great drawing-room only Lady Desborough, Ada, +Percy, and myself. + +"What do you think of your first ball?" Lady Desborough asked. + +"Oh, delightful!" we exclaimed simultaneously; "we could have gone on +dancing all night." + +"It has gone off very well indeed, and I am perfectly satisfied with +everything. But now let us go off to bed; we shall have plenty of time +to talk it all over in the morning." + +It was, however, very long before Ada and + +I went to bed. We took off our ball-dresses, let down our hair, put our +feet into slippers, and then sat by the fire in my room talking over the +evening, and our partners, and our impressions of everything. + +At last I said, "If we do not go to bed soon, Ada, we may as well give +up all idea of going at all. It is nearly six o'clock." + +Ada rose to go into her own room. + +"We have a good five hours to sleep yet. We shall not breakfast till +twelve. Good night, dear." + +After this memorable _entree_ into society, we were out nearly every +night, until, before the end of a month, I had had quite enough of +parties and balls, and was really glad when we had a quiet evening to +ourselves. + +Sometimes, before going to the balls, we went to the opera, which, I +think, after a time I liked more than the parties. Percy always +accompanied us there, but he did not often go the balls, which I was +sorry for; I liked him so much as a partner, and I could talk with him, +so much more naturally and freely about every one there, than I could +with my other partners. + +For the first few nights I went out, Lord Bangley was very attentive to +me; but I disliked him so much that at last I always was engaged when he +asked me to dance; and, although he was very slow to see that any one +really could dislike dancing with so very exalted a person as himself, +he at last was forced to adopt that conclusion, and so gave up asking +me, which was a great relief to me, for his disagreeable manner quite +oppressed me. + +Ada, one morning at breakfast--at which meal, by the bye, Lady +Desborough never appeared--was laughing at me about him, when I said, +sharply, that I could not bear him, and that I had shown him so most +unmistakably. + +"I am glad to hear you say so, Agnes," Percy said; for by this time Ada +had pointed out to us the extreme absurdity of our being constantly +together for two months, and calling each other Miss Ashleigh and Mr. +Desborough all that time. So Percy, having obtained my willing consent, +took to calling me Agnes, while I don't think I called him anything; but +really Percy came almost naturally to my lips, for Ada had so often +spoken of him to me by that name. "I am very glad to hear you say so, +Agnes; Bangley is hated by his brother officers, and and is what I +should call, although an earl's son, a downright snob;--a snob, because +he is conceited about his advantages of person and position;--a snob, +because he is a narrow-minded, empty-headed coxcomb." + +"Well done, oh! most outspoken brother," Ada said. "Pray what offence +has poor Lord Bangley given you for all this outburst?" + +"No particular offence, Ada; but I can't bear the fellow." + +"Curious, now," Ada said, rather mischievously; "I never heard you say +anything against him before: your dislike must be of very recent +origin." + +"Recent or not recent," Percy said, dogmatically, "I can't bear him." + +After I had been three weeks in London, Lady Desborough asked me to stay +two months instead of one, as I had originally intended. She kindly said +that it was so very advantageous and pleasant for Ada having me with +her, and, indeed, pressed me so much that I saw she really wished it, +and on my part I was only too glad to prolong my stay. + +I was quite at home now in society, and knew nearly every one, and +enjoyed the conversation now as much, or more, than the dancing. Ada +told me one morning, when I had been there about five weeks, that I was +getting a perfect flirt--quite as bad as she was--indeed worse, because +quieter--and therefore much more dangerous. + +"There is Lord Holmeskirk, Agnes: he is quite assiduous in his +attentions to you. Now, Percy, you have certainly nothing to say against +him, for he is an exceedingly nice, unaffected fellow." + +"Holmeskirk," broke in Percy, "why, he is a mere boy!" + +"He is an officer in the Guards, Percy. He is, I grant you, two years +younger than your sapient self; still he is more than three years older +than Agnes. Don't mind what he says, my dear: you have my free consent +and approbation. I only wish it had been my magnificent self at whom he +had deigned to throw his handkerchief." + +"Nonsense, Ada. I do wish you would get out of the way of always talking +such ridiculous nonsense;" and Percy got up quite crossly, and went +straight out of the room. + +Ada lifted her eyes in comic amazement and penitence. + +"Dear me! to think of my having angered his royal highness! Did I say +anything very dreadful, Agnes? I do not remember his being so fierce +with me since I was twelve years old. One would think he had been +crossed in love. Eh, Agnes! what do you say to that?" she asked, with +rather a mischievous tone. + +"I am sure I do not know," I said, composedly. + +"Oh, you are sure you do not know! Well, let us see if we can guess. Not +long ago, when Lord Bangley was in question, he became furious against +him; now, he is enraged with me for recommending that nice little Lord +Holmeskirk. Put two and two together, my dear, and four is the undoubted +result." + +"What nonsense you are talking, Ada!" I said, colouring greatly. "Your +brother no more thinks anything about me than--than--" and I stopped for +a comparison. + +"Than you do about him," Ada suggested. + +"He thinks nothing of me," I said, ignoring her suggestion, "except as +an old school-fellow and friend; and I really am surprised, Ada, that +ever you should talk such nonsense." + +"Very well, my dear," Ada said, tranquilly; "then I will say no more +about it. I certainly thought I had an average amount of perception, and +could see as far into a brick wall as my neighbours; but it seems I +cannot. I know, now, that my brother, who never cared for music, and who +never went ten times to the opera in his life, only goes every night we +do because he has acquired a sudden taste for music. Still, in that +case, you will allow it is odd that he should sit so much behind your +chair, and talk to you all the time the music is going on. No doubt, +however, he is criticising the performance for your benefit; but, as he +never speaks loud enough for me to hear, of course I could not guess +that. Another thing too, is, to say the least of it, strange--Percy, +till you came, was at work all day in his room upon Sanscrit and +Hindostanee, and smoking so, that, in spite of the double doors which he +has on purpose, the upper part of the house used quite to smell of his +cigars, and I was always expecting mamma to complain about it. It is, +then, certainly strange that he should now find time to idle away all +his morning with us, and to ride out by the side of our carriage in the +Park of an afternoon. However, I dare say all this is because he has +finished his study of Eastern tongues, and is arrived at perfection in +them. How stupid I have been not to have thought of all this before!" +and here Ada went on sipping her coffee, as if quite convinced that she +had been altogether in error. + +Honestly, I was astonished. It had seemed so natural having Percy +always with us, so pleasant listening to his sensible conversation, +so different from the light flow of badinage we heard of an +evening--it seemed such a matter of course, to enjoy the little +quiet--well--flirtation at the opera, that, up to this moment, I can say +honestly that it had never seriously entered my head that Percy +Desborough cared for me. As, however, I thought over all our +conversation together, not so much what he had said as the way in which +he had said it, the conviction came over me that perhaps Ada was right +after all; and the colour came mounting up into my face, till I felt a +deep crimson even over my forehead. + +Ada was watching me, although she did not seem to be doing so; and +guessing, from what she could see of my face, that I had arrived at the +conclusion that it was as she said, she jumped up from her chair, and, +kneeling down by me in her old impulsive way, she put her arms round me, +and kissed my burning cheeks. + +"You dear, silly, blind Agnes! you know I am right, and that Percy loves +you." + +I was silent a little, and then I said-- + +"But are you sure of what you say, Ada?" + +"Quite sure, Agnes: he has not yet said as much to me, but I know it +just as well as if he had. Have I not seen the way he looks at you when +you are not noticing him? My dear child, I am quite sure about him. But +about you, Agnes, do you care for him?" + +"I never thought of him so, Ada--never once. I liked him very much +indeed, but it never entered my mind that he cared for me in that way; +so I never thought of it." + +"But now you know he does?" Ada persisted, kissing me coaxingly. + +"Ah, but I don't know yet, Ada; so you will get no answer from me on +that head. But, oh, Ada!" I exclaimed, suddenly. "What would Lady +Desborough say? Oh, I do hope it is not true! What would she say to +Percy falling in love with a country doctor's daughter?" + +Ada did not look at all alarmed. + +"My dear," she said, laughing, "I do not think you need trouble yourself +on that score. Country doctors' daughters, in general, are not heiresses +of twenty-five thousand pounds. Mamma is, no doubt, ambitious, and +expects that I shall make a great match; and had Percy been like other +people, and remained in the Guards, and stayed at home, I dare say she +would have thought nothing under a duke's daughter good enough for him. +As it is, all that is changed. She was very angry indeed with him about +it, but she has given it up now. Here he is in a regiment which in a +year or so will go on foreign service; he is mad enough to intend to go +with it, and where is he then? You may be quite sure of one thing, +Agnes. My mamma is a very excellent woman, but she knows far too much of +human nature not to have weighed in her mind, and accepted the +possibility of Percy's falling in love, before she invited a very pretty +girl like you to spend a month in the house at a time she knew Percy +would be at home on leave." + +I had no reply ready to this argument of Ada's, which I knew enough of +Lady Desborough to feel was true; so I kissed her, and told her that she +had talked quite nonsense enough for one morning, and that it was quite +time to get ready to go out. + +The last three weeks I spent in Eaton Square were perhaps more happy +than the previous time, but I don't think they were so pleasant; that +is, I did not feel so much at home. Before, I had been with Percy as I +might have been with a brother, or rather, perhaps, with a cousin; but +now, to feel in my heart--as I now did feel--that he looked at me in +quite another way, made me feel different, and at times a little awkward +with him. Before, if Ada left the room for any thing, I continued to +chat with Percy as unconcernedly as if she had been present; now, I made +some excuse to accompany her, or, if obliged to remain, rattled on about +anything that came uppermost, to prevent the conversation by any +possibility taking a serious turn. + +Ada told me one day that Percy had asked her the reason of my remaining +away so; but I told her she had no one to blame but herself, who had +made me uncomfortable by talking nonsense to me about him. + +"But he is very much in earnest, Agnes. He spoke to me last night, and +said he was only waiting for an opportunity of speaking to you. You +won't say 'no,' will you, Agnes darling?" + +She asked in her coaxing way, kissing me as she used to do at school +when she wanted me to do anything for her. + +I did not answer. I felt very very happy to know now for certain that he +loved me, still, I could not answer that question except to himself, +especially to Ada, who would be sure whatever she promised me, to tell +Percy. So I said at last, "There is no use, Ada, in his speaking to me +now at all. I would never accept him or any other man, even if I loved +him with all my heart, until my father had seen and liked him." + +"But how is Dr. Ashleigh to see Percy?" Ada asked, with a dismayed face. + +"Of course, Ada, it is not for me to make arrangements for your +brother," I said quietly; and then, after a pause, seeing her blank +dismay, I went on, "It is not for me to suggest, Ada; but as you have +promised to come down for a week to us, in another six weeks when the +season is over, on your way to Lady Dashwood's, I have no doubt that +papa would be very happy to see your brother if he should be happening +to accompany you." + +I was conscious that although I said this laughingly, I was blushing +crimson; but still I felt it was better so than that Percy should ask me +now, for I quite meant what I said about papa's consent; but I was by no +means sure of my own resolution if he asked me, which he was certain to +do if I did not somehow put it off. Ada looked me full in the face, she +saw that it would be as she wished, and she took me very gently in her +arms, and we kissed each other lovingly, as if in pledge of the nearer +relationship we were to bear. And then she made one more effort. + +"But could you not say 'yes,' now, Agnes, and refer him to your papa? It +would be the same thing, and put him out of his suspense." + +"No, Ada," I said positively; "it would not be the same thing at all. If +I said 'yes,' but which, mind, I have not said that I ever shall do, +papa would be sure to give his consent because he loves me. But before I +am engaged to any one, I should like papa to see him and like him first, +and then when he tells me he approves my choice, I shall know he really +means what he says." + +After this, I have no doubt Ada told him something of what I had said, +for from that time they ceased to try and contrive _tete-a-tetes_ +between us, and I saw that Percy was content to wait till the time I had +indicated. So I was much more comfortable with him. His leave expired, +and he went away three or four days before my visit ended. I took care +the last day or two not to be alone with him, for I confess I doubted my +own resolution as much as I did his. However, nothing was said till he +was going, and then as he was saying good-bye, he held my hand and said, +"Then I may hope to see you again in six weeks, Agnes?" and he looked so +earnestly at me, that my stupid colour would come rushing up. + +"Yes," I said, as steadily as I could, "papa will be very glad to see +you, if you should happen to be accompanying Ada." + +For a moment longer he held my hand, and it seemed to me that he drew me +a little towards him as if he were going to kiss me. If Ada had not been +in the room, I believe he would have done so; as it was, he lifted my +hand and pressed it to his lips, kissed Ada heartily, and was gone. + +The very last ball I went to before I left, a circumstance happened +which gave me great pain at the time. I was dancing with Lord +Holmeskirk, with whom, indeed, I danced more perhaps than with any one +else, and we were speaking of my leaving on the following day, and he +remarked almost seriously how much I should be missed, to which I +replied with laughing disbelief. After the dance was over we took our +seats on a sofa placed in a conservatory on the landing, half way up the +stairs, and which was otherwise unoccupied. It was quite surrounded by +flowers, so that although any one who came up-stairs could see us, still +no one could hear what we said. + +When we had sat down Lord Holmeskirk said, "So you do not think you will +be missed, Miss Ashleigh? Now I can assure you that at least by me your +absence will be keenly felt." And then without further introduction, he +made me an honest straightforward offer. + +I felt very surprised, and very very sorry, and told him so. I had +looked upon him as a very pleasant partner, and had liked him very much, +and I assured him that I had never for a moment imagined that he had +regarded me in any other light. + +"I don't suppose you love me now, Miss Ashleigh," he said earnestly. +"There is no reason in the world why you should; but don't you think you +could some day. Is it quite impossible that you may in time get to care +for me?" And the honest young nobleman looked so pleadingly up in my +face, that I could hardly restrain my tears. + +"Lord Holmeskirk," I said, "I am very sorry indeed for what you have +said to me. I am grieved that I should unwittingly have obtained the +love of a true heart such as yours is without being able to requite it. +It will be a matter of lasting regret to me. But it would be cruel +kindness to deceive you. I cannot encourage you even to hope. There are +many here far more fitted than I am to win your love, and whose rank +would render them far more suitable matches for you than I could be. +Your parents----" + +"I can assure you," he began, earnestly, "I have their consent; I have +already spoken to them." + +"I esteem you still more for having done so, Lord Holmeskirk, and I am +touched at their willingness to receive me; still, their consent must +have been the result rather of their affection for you, than their own +real approval of it." + +I saw at once in his open face that it was so, and that his parents' +consent had been reluctantly given. + +"It could not be otherwise," I said; "they naturally wish you to choose +one who, from her rank and connections, may strengthen your position, +however high that may be. And now, I can only say again how sorry I am +for the pain I have given you, but that it cannot be. I shall always +remember you with esteem and regard, and nothing will give me greater +pleasure than to hear you have made some happier choice." + +The young man saw that any further appeal would be hopeless, and the +tears stood in his honest grey eyes. + +"Thank you very much for your kindness, Miss Ashleigh, but, believe me, +I shall ever regard you----" "as a friend," I said, rising, and making a +movement to the staircase. He offered me his arm, and as we went up I +began chatting on indifferent subjects, as I did not wish any one to +even guess what had taken place. As we walked round the room, we passed +by where the countess, his mother, was sitting. I saw she looked at us +anxiously, and as her son caught her eye, he shook his head slightly in +answer to the question she asked, and I could see her eyes open, first +in astonishment, and then soften with a variety of emotions,--sorrow for +her son's disappointment,--pleasure that he was not going to make a +match which she could not have thought suitable. As we passed again, she +stopped us, and spoke a few words to me, for I had frequently spoken to +her before, and had liked her much, for she was a kind, motherly sort of +woman, though she was a countess. She said she heard this was my last +ball, and that she should quite miss my face amongst the dancers. + +"It is a fresh, happy face, my dear, and I hope it may continue so. +Good-bye; you have my best wishes;" and she shook hands with me very +kindly and affectionately, in a way which seemed to say a very great +many things which she could not well express. + +When I got back that evening, Ada, who had been rather silent on our way +home, came into my room, as she usually did, for a talk, and said, +"Agnes, I was going down the stairs to get an ice, and I saw you and +Lord Holmeskirk go into the conservatory together, and you were there +when I came up again, and I am quite sure by both your looks that he has +made you an offer. Well?" + +"What do you mean by _well_?" I asked, for I felt a little hurt that, +after what I had said to her about Percy, she should ever dream of the +possibility of my accepting any one else. + +"Of course I mean what did you answer? Don't keep me waiting, Agnes: you +don't know how anxious and impatient I have been to get home to ask +you." + +"After what I said to you about Percy, Ada," I said, rather coldly, "I +should have thought it hardly necessary to ask. Of course I refused +him." + +"There, you dear Agnes," Ada said, almost crying on my neck, "don't be +angry with me; but I have been so nervous, though I knew you would say +'no.' Still, it must require so much courage to refuse a nobleman; I +know I never could;" and so she went on till she coaxed me into a good +humour again, and we talked a long time before we went to bed. And so my +gaieties ended, and next morning, bidding adieu to Ada and Lady +Desborough, who was very gracious, and even kissed me, I started for +Canterbury, under charge of a lady who was going down, and whom I met by +arrangement on the platform of the station. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +SUNSHINE AND SHADOW. + + +Although I had enjoyed my trip to London immensely, yet I was very, very +glad to get back to my dear old home again; happier even than before, +for now, in addition to all my former home-pleasures, I had a secret +source of happiness to muse over when alone. How bright life appeared to +me, how thankful I felt for all my deep happiness, and how my heart +seemed to open to all created things! + +I had only one cause for sorrow, and that one which had for years been +seen as a dim shadow in the far distance, but which had been for the +last two or three years past increasing in magnitude, growing from vague +ill-defined dread, to the sad certainty of coming grief. I mean the +rapidly failing health of mamma. + +From my farthest back remembrance of her she had never been strong. Not, +perhaps, suffering from any decided pain or illness, but weak and +languid, and unequal to any unusual exertion. For years the great part +of her time had been spent on the sofa, but during the last few months +she had been unmistakably failing; on my return home after my visit in +London I found that there was a marked change in her appearance, and +that she had grown decidedly thinner and weaker in that short time. + +Papa, I could see, was very anxious about her; he was a good deal more +at home now, and spent as much time as he could spare in the room with +her, bringing his books in there, and sitting to study where she could +see his face, and so close that she could exchange a few words with him +occasionally without having to raise her voice. Ill as mamma was, I +think she was never so happy in her married life as she was at that +time. She now no longer troubled herself with domestic arrangements, but +left all that to me, and was content to lie, holding a book in her +wasted hands, and looking fondly across at her husband at his reading. +When papa was there she liked, I think, best being alone with him and +her thoughts; but when he was out, I used to take my work and sit beside +her, and talk when she felt inclined, which was not often. Indeed, I had +only one long conversation with her, which was about a month after I +came back. + +She had been lying very quiet one day, not speaking at all, but watching +me while I worked, when she said: + +"You have told us all about your trip to London, Agnes, and about your +gaieties and amusements; but I do not think you have told all. As you +sit there I can see sometimes the colour come up over your face, and +your lips part a little, and your eyes soften, while your fingers lie +idle on your work. Have you not some pleasant thoughts, dearest--some +sweet hope for the future which you have not yet spoken of? Tell me, +darling. I have not much longer to be with you, and it would make my +last time more happy to be able to think of your future as somewhat +secured, and to picture you to myself as mistress of some happy home. Am +I right, my child? Have you some such hope?" + +Kneeling down beside her, when my tears suffered me to speak, I told her +all that had passed between me and Percy, and that, although not yet +actually engaged, we should be when he came down, if papa and she +approved of him; and I explained to her the reason why I had not at once +told them about it was, that I wished them to see him with unbiased eyes +first of all, and to like him for his own sake, before they did for +mine. Mamma asked me several questions about Percy's dispositions and +habits, which I answered as minutely and fairly as I could; when I had +done she said: + +"I think from what you say, my darling, he will make you very happy, and +I shall be able to trust you to him. I shall look forward to seeing him. +I am very glad you have told me, my child; I shall have pleasant +thoughts of the future now, in addition to all my happy memories of the +past." + +From this time mamma grew fonder than ever of having me with her, and +would watch me as she watched papa. She liked me best to sit on a low +stool beside her, so close that without exertion she could softly stroke +my hair, and let her poor thin hand rest on my head. I did not go out +anywhere, except over to Sturry. There I went as often as I could; for I +liked Sophy, and loved Mr. Harmer, as indeed I had good reason to do. +About him papa was very uneasy; he had had a rather severe stroke of +paralysis when I was away in London, and, although he had greatly +recovered from it, he still felt its effects, and papa said that he must +be kept very quiet, for that any excitement might bring on another and +fatal attack. + +The first time I went over to see Mr. Harmer, I was quite shocked at the +change which had taken place since I had last seen him, little more than +two months before. He rose to meet me when I went into the library where +he was sitting, with quite his old smile of welcome, and I did not so +much notice the change till he was fairly on his feet. Then indeed I saw +how great it was. His old free, erect bearing was gone, and he stood +upright with difficulty, and when he tried to walk, it was in a stiff +and jointless sort of way, very painful to see. But the greatest +alteration was in his voice; formerly he spoke in such a frank, hearty, +joyous way, and now each word seemed to come out slowly and with +difficulty. Although papa had warned me that I should see a great change +in him, I had no idea of such a terrible alteration as this, and it was +so great a shock to me, that I could not help breaking down and crying. + +"You must not do that," Mr. Harmer said, placing me in a chair at one +side of him, while Sophy, who had gone in with me, sat on the other, and +he took my hand in his own, and held it there the whole time I was with +him. "You must not cry, Agnes; I am getting an old man, and could not, +in the ordinary course of nature, have expected to have lived many years +more. I have led a very happy life, and have innumerable blessings to be +thankful for; not the least, although that may seem selfish on my part, +that there are some who care for me in my age, and who will be sorry +when I am taken away. There, my dear, dry your eyes, and give me a full +description of all your gaieties in London." + +I told him all about what I had been doing, where I had gone, and +everything I could think of likely to amuse him, and was still in the +middle of my story when Miss Harmer came in. + +"I am very sorry to have to disturb you Miss Ashleigh," she said, after +shaking hands with me, "for I know how much my brother enjoys a talk +with you; but your papa's orders were so very strict, that on no account +should he be allowed to talk for long at a time, that I really must put +a stop to your conversation." + +I had not seen Miss Harmer for some time, for she and her sister had +been away on the Continent for two years previously, and had returned +only on receipt of the news of their brother's illness. + +When Miss Harmer spoke, I got up at once to leave, feeling a little +ashamed of my own thoughtlessness, for papa had particularly warned me +before I started, not to talk long; but I had quite forgotten his +injunction, in the pleasure Mr. Harmer had evidently felt in listening +to me. + +"You see, my dear," he said, "I must do as I am told now; but you will +come again soon to see me, will you not?" + +I promised to come as soon as I could, and from that time whenever mamma +could spare me, I went over for half an hour's chat with Mr. Harmer, +very often at first, but as he got better, and mamma became weaker, of +course my visits became very much less frequent. + +During my visits at this time, I was a good deal puzzled about Sophy. +There was something in her manner, which I could not at all understand. +She was evidently extremely attached to her grandfather, and was +unwearied in her constant attention to him; and yet at times it appeared +to me that her thoughts were far off from what was passing before her, +and that after one of these fits of abstraction she would rouse herself +with almost a start, and then glance furtively at Mr. Harmer, as if +afraid that he had noticed it. When he praised her too, which he often +did to me, for her care and kindness to him, I fancied that she almost +shrank from his praise in a sort of pained way, as if she felt that his +commendation was undeserved. I daresay at any other time I might have +thought a great deal about this; but as it was I had so much to occupy +me. What with my mother's almost daily increasing weakness; what with +the rapidly approaching visit of Ada and Percy; what with my own grief +and my own happiness, I had no thoughts to give to Sophy. Perhaps on my +walk home from Sturry, I wondered and puzzled as to her conduct; but +once past my own doors, all thought of her and her mysterious ways, were +laid aside till I started for my next visit to Harmer Place. + +I have not mentioned that after I had told mamma about Percy, I suppose +she must have hinted something to papa; at any rate he wrote to Percy, +saying that hearing from his daughter that he proposed accompanying his +sister Ada on a visit to Lady Dashwood's, he should be very glad if, +like her, Percy would take Canterbury on his way, and stay for a week +with us. Percy answered the letter in the affirmative. Papa's eyes +rather twinkled with amusement as he one day at breakfast told me in a +casual sort of way that he had written to Mr. Desborough, asking him to +stay with us while his sister did, and that he had heard that morning +that his invitation was accepted. + +I know I tried to look unconscious, but finally had to go round the +table and rumple papa's hair all over, and tell him that he was a dear +old goose. + +It was about two months after my return from London that I received a +letter from Ada, saying that her brother had obtained leave of absence +again, and that the season was now quite over, and London dreadfully +hot; that she longed to be out of it and in the country again, and that +if convenient she would come on that day week, and that Percy would +accompany her. I had been expecting this news for some time, still, now +that it had come--now that I knew for certain that in another week Percy +would be with me--it was very difficult to realize, and very hard, +indeed, to go about looking tranquil and unconcerned under sister +Polly's watchful eye and sly remarks. Polly was now at home for the +holidays, and during the week I many times wished her back at school +again, for she was really a serious plague to me. She had somehow +guessed, or fancied she guessed, the state of things between Percy and +me, and she was constantly making remarks about their coming visit, and +then slyly watching me to see the colour which would, on the mention of +his name, mount up into my cheeks. I had, as a girl, a dreadful habit of +blushing, which, do what I would, I could not break myself of. It was +very tiresome, and I would have given anything to have cured myself of +the trick. + +So now, what with Polly's mischievous hints and my ridiculous habit of +blushing, I was made quite uncomfortable for that week. At last I had to +tell her she was annoying me very much, and that if she did it when they +came down I should be seriously angry with her. When she saw I was quite +in earnest, she pretended to be very penitent, although I am sure she +was only amused; however, she gave it up as much as she could for the +time. + +At last the day came for them to arrive, and I went down to the train to +meet them with papa and Polly. I proposed this myself, as it was much +less embarrassing to meet in all that bustle and confusion than in the +quiet of our hall. + +Presently the train came up, and I saw Ada's face at the window. We were +soon at the door and helped her out. When I had kissed her I shook hands +with Percy and introduced him to papa, and they went off together to +look after the luggage, leaving us three girls talking on the platform. +Altogether it had been much less embarrassing than I had feared. Papa +ordered a man to take the boxes round to our house, and we started to +walk, retaining the same order; we girls together in front, and papa and +Percy behind. So down Westgate, across the bridge over the Stour, and +under the noble old gate, which, so many centuries back, frowned down +upon the haughty priest a Becket, as he passed under it upon that last +journey to Canterbury from which he returned alive no more. It was an +old gateway then, but still capable of a sturdy defence against the +weapons of the time; for on either side the city walls stretched away, +lofty and strong. Now, at this point they are gone, and the old gateway +stands isolated and alone; but it is still strong and well preserved, +and looks as if, unless disturbed by the hand of man, it could bid +defiance to the action of time for many a century yet to come. Under +this we walked, and then down the High Street, with its quaint, +high-gabled, overhanging houses, and up the narrow lane which led to our +house. After we had lunched, we went up into the drawing-room, to mamma, +who was very pleased to see Ada again, with her bright face and happy +laugh,--for I did not mention in its proper place that Ada had spent one +of her Christmas holidays with us. Mamma looked very earnestly at Percy, +as if she could read his character at a glance, and listened very +attentively to all he said. As we went out of the room--which we did in +about a quarter of an hour, for mamma could not bear so many in the room +for long together--she kissed me, as I lingered behind the others, and +pressed my hand lovingly, and I could see she was quite satisfied. + +I did not see much of Percy for the next two days, at which I was very +glad, for I could not help feeling a little awkward; and although I +endeavoured to soothe my conscience by telling myself that had I not put +him off he would have proposed to me when I was staying in London, yet I +could not help feeling that somehow I had invited him down here on +purpose for him to ask me to be his wife. For these two days he was as +much as he could be with papa, accompanying him in his drives and rides, +and I could see by papa's manner that he really liked him very much. To +me he was very nice, not at all showing me any marked attention so as to +be perceptible to any one else; and yet I could feel there was something +different in his tone of voice and manner when he addressed me to what +he used when he spoke to others. Ada and I found lots to talk about when +we were alone; for although she had written very often, and given me +very full accounts, still there was an immense deal to tell me about all +the different balls she had been to since, and what engagements had been +made during the season; I found, too, although this was a subject Ada +was very chary of speaking of, that she herself had refused one very +good offer, and that she was rather under the ban of her lady-mother's +displeasure in consequence. "She consoles herself, however," Ada said, +"with the conclusion, that there are even better matches to be made than +the one I refused, and that I must have set my mind on being a duchess; +for that any idea of love is necessary for a marriage, is a matter which +never entered her mind." Ada was a little bitter upon the subject, and I +was sorry to see she was likely to have disputes with her mother upon +the point; for there was no doubt that Lady Desborough was a very +worldly woman, and I was quite sure that Ada, although at times +thoughtless and fond of admiration, would never marry any one, however +high his rank, to whom she had not given her heart. + +The third morning of their visit I was up early, and went for my usual +little stroll in the garden before breakfast. I had not been there many +minutes before Percy joined me, and when we went in together we were +engaged. I do not tell how it came about, what he said, or how I +answered him. There is very little in the words thus spoken to interest +others, although so unutterably sweet to listen to. To me there is +something almost sacred in the thought of that time; far too sacred to +be told to any one; and even now, eight years after, my cheeks flush, my +eyes fill with tears, and my fingers quiver at the thought of those few +words, and of the kiss by which our engagement was sealed. Oh Percy, +Percy, could we but have seen the future then! But, perhaps, better +not--better, certainly, for I have at least the pleasure left me of +looking back upon that short space of intense happiness--a memory which +is all my own, and which nothing can take away from me. I do not know +how I made breakfast that morning--I am sure I must have made all sorts +of blunders; but Ada, who at once saw what had happened, and Polly, who +I think guessed, chattered away so incessantly, that I was not obliged +to take any part in the conversation. Ada afterwards told me that in the +first cup of tea I gave her no milk, and that she saw me put no less +than eight pieces of sugar into the second. I only hope the others were +better, but I have serious doubts on the subject. After breakfast was +over, papa went into the study, and Percy at once followed him in there. +As soon as the door closed upon them, Ada came round, and kissed me very +warmly and lovingly; and Polly, as soon as she saw by our manner that +her suspicions were correct, and that Percy and I were engaged, first +nearly suffocated me with the violence of her embraces, and then +performed a wild and triumphant _pas seul_ round the breakfast-table, in +a manner directly opposed to the injunction and teaching of the Misses +Pilgrim and "Grendon House." Altogether she was quite wild, and I had +the greatest difficulty in sobering her down, especially as Ada was +rather inclined to abet her in her folly. + +I shall pass very briefly over the remaining ten days that Percy and Ada +stayed with us, for indeed that happy time is more than even now I can +write about calmly. Papa's and mamma's consent was warmly given, and +they were very much pleased with Percy. The only drawback to papa's +satisfaction at the match, was the fact of Percy being in the army, and +the thought of my going abroad. Percy, indeed, offered to leave the +service, but this I would not hear of. I knew how much he was attached +to his profession, and I had no objection to the thought of going +abroad; and my money, with his pay and allowance from his mother, would +enable us to live in luxury in any part of the world. + +Two days after our engagement took place I received a very nice letter +from Lady Desborough, saying how pleased she was to hear of Percy's +choice, and its success. She said a good many kind and complimentary +things, to which I did not, even at the time, attach much importance, +for I knew well that it was only the fact of her son choosing, greatly +against her wishes, an active military life, which made her regard with +approval his engagement with myself. However, I did not fret seriously +about that; she gave her consent, and that was all that was required, +while I had the hearty approval of my own dear parents in my choice. I +believed Percy loved me with all his heart, and I certainly did him with +all mine. So the time they stopped with us went over very happily and +quickly. Nothing was said before they went away about our marriage; +indeed, mamma was so very ill, that it was a question which could not be +discussed, as of course I could not have left her in the state she was +in, and how long she might remain as she was no one could tell. + +However, it was willed that her stay with us should be even more brief +than our worst fears had whispered. Percy and Ada had not left us much +more than a month, when papa said at breakfast one morning: "Agnes, I +wrote yesterday to Harry to come home; write to-day to Miss Pilgrim, +asking her to send Polly home to-morrow." It did not need for me to look +in his face; the quiver of his voice told me his meaning: they were to +come home to see mamma before she died. What a dreadful shock it was. I +had long known mamma must leave us soon, but she had so long been ill, +and she changed so gradually, that, until papa spoke that morning, I had +never realized that her time was so near at hand. Yet, when I recovered +from that terrible fit of crying, I remembered how I could count back +from week to week, and see how the change, gradual as it seemed, had yet +been strongly marked, and that the last two months had wrought terrible +havoc with her little remaining strength. + +At the beginning of that time she had been up nearly all day, lying on +the sofa. As time went on, she got up later and went to bed earlier; at +the end of the month, papa had taken to carrying her in, and now, for +the last ten days, her visits to the drawing-room had ceased altogether. +She was wonderfully calm and patient, and through all those long months +of illness, I never heard a murmur or word of complaint pass her lips. + +Polly arrived the day after I wrote, and was, poor child, in a dreadful +state of grief. Harry came the day after: to him the shock was greater +than to any of us. He had not seen her fading gradually away as we had, +and although from our letters, he knew how ill she was, he had never +until he came back completely realized it. + +I pass over the week which mamma lived after Harry's return, as also the +week after her death. These solemn griefs are too sacred to be +described. Do we not all know them? For are not these great scenes +common to every one? Have we not all of us lost our darlings, our loves? +Is there not an empty chair in every household; a place in every heart +where one lives who is no longer seen on earth; a secret shrine whence, +in the dead of the night, the well-known figure steps gently out, and +communes with us over happy times that are gone, and bids us hope and +wait for that happier meeting to come, after which there will be no more +parting and tears? + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +LAYING A TRAIN. + + +It was not for three weeks after mamma's death that I again saw Mr. +Harmer, and then he came over in his carriage to say good-bye to me, as +he would not see me again for some little time, for I was going away for +a month with papa to Ramsgate for a change. + +In truth we both needed it. I was pale and nervous; all the scenes and +emotions of the last three months had shaken me very much, and I think +that had I not gone to the sea-side I should have had a serious illness +of some sort. Papa, too, looked ill and worn. He had felt mamma's loss +very much; and, indeed, the long watching and the constant noting the +signs of her rapid decay, all so clear to his medical eye, must have +been a terrible trial. + +The house, too, was now so dreadfully lonely and dull that I became +quite affected by it, and began to feel my old childish terrors of the +dark passages, and the midnight sounds of the old house grew upon me +again: in fact, I became sadly nervous and out of sorts, and a change +was absolutely necessary. + +Harry had gone back to his work in the North, and Polly to Grendon +House, so papa and I had only ourselves and each other to think of. + +When Mr. Harmer called, I found him very much better than when I had +seen him last. His difficulty of utterance had quite passed off, and he +was able to walk again nearly as firmly and freely as he had before. He +was very kind to me, as, indeed, he always was; and sympathized with me +so gently and feelingly upon the great loss I had sustained, that he +soothed rather than opened the recent wounds. Altogether, his visit did +me good; and I was very glad to find him so much better than I had +expected, for, although papa had told me that he was getting round +wonderfully, and was likely, unless he had another seizure, to live for +many years, I had not hoped to see him as well as he was. He did not at +all mind papa's going away, for he had promised to come up twice a week +from Ramsgate to see him, and he could be telegraphed for at any moment +should anything occur to render such a step necessary. + +So papa and I went down to Ramsgate for a month, and a very great deal +of good it did us. The fresh air and sea-bathing soon cured my +nervousness, and the change of scene and the variety and life of the +place--so different from the quiet sleepiness of Canterbury--gradually +softened the bitterness of my grief; while nearly every day I had +letters from Percy--long, loving letters, very cheering and dear to +me--painting our future life together, and making me feel very happy; so +happy, that I sometimes blamed myself for feeling so, so soon after my +dear mother's death. It was a tranquil, quiet life, and I rapidly +recovered my health and strength again. I had no acquaintances down +there, for Ramsgate is too near to Canterbury for the people from there +to visit it. Besides, Canterbury is a great deal too genteel to +patronize so exceedingly vulgar a place as Ramsgate. I had a chatting +acquaintance with several of the boatmen, and papa was very fond of +sitting of an evening at the end of the pier, on the great stone posts +to which the steamers are fastened, and talking to the fishermen of the +wrecks they had known on those terrible Goodwins, and of the vessels +which had been lost in trying to make the entrance to the Harbour. I +also struck up a great acquaintance with the old bathing-woman--not, +certainly, from any use that she was to me, for I would never let her +take me by the hands and plunge me under water as I saw some girls do, +but I used to talk to her of an evening when her work was done, and she +was hanging up the towels to dry. She was a very worthy old body, and +not so frightfully ugly as she looked in her bathing-costume, with her +draggled clothes and weather-beaten bonnet, but was a quiet +respectable-looking old woman. She had been a bathing-woman there for +years and years; and had, I have no doubt, saved up a snug little sum of +money. She told me that she had a married daughter who lived near +London, and who had a very nice cottage down at Putney, and who let part +of it to lodgers; and she hoped that if I were ever going near London, I +would patronize her. I told her that there was not the remotest +probability of such a thing; but she suggested that I might know some +one who might one day go, and, accordingly, to please her, I took the +address down in my pocket-book, but certainly without the remotest idea +that it would ever turn out of the slightest use to me. + +Papa, on his return from his visits to Canterbury twice a week, always +brought back some fresh topics for conversation. He was at all times +fond of talking over his day's visits, and told me so much about his +patients that I grew quite interested in his accounts of the improvement +or otherwise of those who were seriously ill, and was pleased or sorry +as his report of their state was good or the reverse. This had always +been papa's habit, partly because he felt so much interested in his work +that his patients were constantly in his thoughts, and partly because +when we were at home he always had soups, jellies, and other +strengthening food made for those among his poorer patients as required +such treatment. + +One evening when papa came back, he looked vexed and thoughtful; +however, I asked no questions for I knew that if he thought right he +would tell me presently what it was. When we had finished our dinner we +strolled out on to the esplanade in front of our house. He lit his +cigar, and we leant on the rail and looked down upon the shipping in the +harbour, in the gathering twilight, and at the light on the Goodwin +which was as yet but just visible. For some time papa did not speak; at +last he took his cigar out of his mouth, and said, "I am vexed, Agnes; +or rather troubled. I will tell you why: you are a discreet little woman +now, and so I can trust you with what I have seen." + +He again paused, and took two or three quick puffs at his cigar, as if +in angry thought of how he should begin, and then went on. + +"There lives near Canterbury, Agnes, a lazy, bad, dissolute man, named +Robert Gregory. I do not suppose you have noticed him, although you may +have possibly met him casually. He is, as I have said, a bad man, and +bears a character of the worst description. Some eight or ten years +since, when he was a very young man, he went up to London, and by his +extravagance and bad habits there, he ruined the old man, his father, +and brought him prenaturely to the grave. + +"This man, Agnes, is good-looking, and yet with a bad face. It is rather +coarse perhaps, more so than it was ten years since when I first saw +him, for that sort of face, when it once begins to go off, loses its +beauty rapidly; still, I allow, much as I object to the man, that he is +handsome. It is just the sort of face likely to attract a young girl who +is new to the world. A face apparently frank and good-natured, and yet +with something--imperious and even defiant about it; very taking to the +young, who cannot help feeling flattered by seeing that the man, who +looks as if he neither cared for nor feared any other living thing, +should yet bow to them; that the fierce eye should soften, and the loud +voice become gentle when he addresses them. Altogether a dangerous man +for a young girl to know, a very dangerous one for her to love. To a man +like myself, accustomed from habit and profession to study character, he +is peculiarly repulsive. His face to me is all bad. The man is not only +a blackguard, and a handsome blackguard, but he is a clever and +determined one; his face is marked with lines of profligacy and +drunkenness, and there is a passionate, dangerous flash about his eye. +He has, too, seen the world, although only a bad side of it; but he can, +when he chooses, lay aside his roughness and rampant blackguardism, and +assume a tolerably gentlemanly, quiet demeanour, which would very well +pass muster with an inexperienced girl. In short, my dear, if I were +asked to select the man of all others, of those with whom I am +acquainted, whom I would least rather meet in any society where my +daughter, or any young girl might see him, I should unhesitatingly +say--Robert Gregory. Fortunately for society here, the man, by his +well-known drunken and bad character, has placed himself beyond its +pale, and so he can do it no great harm. It was only the last time that +I was in Canterbury that I heard, and I acknowledge that I heard with +great pleasure, that Robert Gregory was so deeply in debt that writs +were out against him; and that unless he went away he would in a short +time be consigned to a debtor's prison, so that Canterbury, at any rate +for some time, might hope to be free of him. Well, my dear, I daresay +you are wondering what all this long story about a person of whom you +know nothing can be going to end in, but you will see that it is all +very much to the point. To-day I was rather earlier than usual in my +visit to Mr. Harmer. I was driving fast, and as I turned the corner of +the road where the plantation in Mr. Harmer's ground begins, I saw a man +getting over the hedge into the road. Probably the noise he was making +breaking through the twigs, together with the turn of the road, +prevented his seeing or hearing the gig until he was fairly over; for as +he jumped into the road and looked round I was not twenty yards off, and +could hear him swear a deep oath, as he pulled his hat down over his +eyes, and turned his back to me as I drove past to prevent my seeing his +face; but it was too late, for I had recognized Robert Gregory. Of +course I said nothing; but as I drove up to the house, looking over the +grounds, I saw Sophy Needham coming up through the trees from the very +direction from which I had seen him come out. She was at some distance +off, and I was almost at the door, so I could not have stopped to speak +to her without being noticed, even had I wished it. She did not come +into the room while I was there, so that I had no opportunity of +questioning her about it, even had I made up my mind to do so; indeed it +was so delicate a matter that I could not have spoken to her without +previous reflection. + +"Altogether the affair has a very curious and ugly look. It could hardly +be a mere coincidence, that he should be getting over the hedge from the +plantation--where he could have no possible reason for going except to +see her--at the very time of her coming away from that part of the +grounds. It looks very like a secret meeting, but how such a thing could +have been brought about is more than I can imagine. But if it is so, it +is a dreadful business." + +We were both silent for some time, and then I said,-- + +"Do you know, papa, I remember meeting the man you speak of at the fete +at Mr. Harmer's last year." + +"Now you mention it, Agnes, I recollect that he was there. I wondered at +the time at his being invited, but I supposed Mr. Harmer had known his +father as a respectable man, and had asked the son, knowing nothing of +his character, or the disrepute in which he was held. I did not notice +him much, nor did I see him dance with Sophy; had I done so I should +have warned Mr. Harmer of his real character." + +"He did not dance with her, papa," I said, rather timidly, for I was +frightened at the thought of what dreadful mischief had resulted, which +might have been averted had I spoken of the matter at the time. "He did +not dance with her, but he had some sort of secret understanding with +her; at least I thought so;" and I then told him all I had observed that +evening at the fete. "I should have mentioned it at the time, papa, for +it perplexed me a good deal, but I went back to school next day, and +never thought of it from that day to this." + +"Do you know, Agnes," papa said, throwing away his cigar, and taking +three or four turns up and down in extreme perplexity, "this is very +serious; I am quite frightened to think of it. What on earth is to be +done?" and papa took off his hat and rubbed his hair back from his +forehead. "How very unfortunate that you did not speak of what you +noticed at the time. I am not blaming you; going off to school, as you +say, of course put it out of your head; besides, you did not know the +man as I do, and could not guess what terrible results might be growing +out of what you saw; you could not, as a mere girl, tell how bad it is +for a young woman to have a secret understanding of that sort with any +man--how fatal, when with such a man as Robert Gregory. + +"Had I known it at that time, I might have done something to put a stop +to it. It would, in any case, have been a delicate matter to have +interfered in, merely on the grounds of what you noticed, and which +Sophy would, of course, have disputed; still I might have warned Mr. +Harmer against allowing such a man to enter his doors, and I would have +spoken when Sophy was present, and said how bad his character was, so as +to have opened her eyes to the real nature of the man. It might have +done no good. A girl is very slow to believe anything against a man she +loves. Still it would have been something; and had there been any +opportunity, I could have related some stories about him, which I knew +to be true, which must have convinced her that he was a thorough +blackguard. + +"It might have been quite ineffectual; still it might possibly have done +good. But now--really, Agnes," he said, stopping short, "I don't know +what to do: it is a dreadful affair. There, don't distress yourself, my +child"--for I was crying now--"matters may not be as bad as we fancy, +although I confess that I do not see any possible interpretation which +can put the affair in a better light. The only question is, what is to +be done? + +"To begin with, we are, you see, placed in a peculiarly delicate +position in respect to Sophy. In case of any scandal being discovered +through our means, and Mr. Harmer altering his will in consequence, you +might benefit from it, and it would place my conduct and motive for +interfering in a very false and unpleasant light. In the next place, in +Mr. Harmer's present state of health, the agitation such a disclosure +would produce, would not improbably--indeed, would be very likely +to--bring on another paralytic fit, and cost him his life. The only +thing I can at present think of is to appeal to Sophy herself. + +"I fear that would hardly be successful, as the secret understanding +between them must have gone on for more than a year, to our knowledge, +and we dare not even think in what relation they may now stand to each +other. Still it must be tried. Should that fail, as I feel it is quite +certain to do, an appeal must be made to him. He may be bought off. Of +course, with him it is a mere question of time. If he waits till Mr. +Harmer's death, which may not occur for years yet, Sophy is sure to be a +wealthy heiress; if he marries her before that, Mr. Harmer will +infallibly alter his will. He would, no doubt, still leave her +something, for he loves her too much to leave her a beggar even in a +moment of anger. + +"So you see it is quite a matter of calculation. Robert Gregory has +waited until now, but he must be getting desperate. This writ, of which +I spoke, may induce him to come to some sudden decision--no one can say +what. It is altogether a very bad business, and a difficult matter for +any one, far more for myself, to meddle in. However, something must be +done: that much is certain. To-day is Wednesday. I had not intended to +go into Canterbury again till Saturday, but now I shall go on Friday. So +we shall have to-morrow to talk over what is the best thing to be done, +and how I am to set about it. It is getting late, Agnes: it is time to +be going in." + +I shall never forget that evening, as we turned and strolled along the +edge of the cliffs towards home. I thought I had never seen such a +beautiful night. The tide was high, and the sea was very calm, and +hardly moved under the warm autumnal breeze, but broke on the beach far +below our feet with a gentle plash. Out at sea the lights on the Goodwin +shone clear and bright; while far away to the right, looking like a star +near the horizon, we could plainly see the Deal light. Below us lay the +harbour, with its dark shipping, and its bright lamps reflected in the +still waters within it. Sometimes, from the sea, came up faint snatches +of songs from parties in boats enjoying the lovely evening. + +Above it was most beautiful of all. The sky was a very deep blue, and I +do not think I ever saw so many stars as were visible that lovely +September night. The heavens seemed spangled with them, and they shone +out clear and bright, with none of the restless, unquiet twinkle they +usually have, but still and tranquil, seeming--as they never do seem +except on such nights as this--to hang suspended from the deep blue +above them. The moon was up, but it was only a thin crescent, and was +lovely in itself without outshining the glory of the stars. It was a +glorious night, and, absorbed as we were with our own thoughts, and +troubled by what had occurred, we could not help feeling soothed and +elevated by the wondrous beauty of the scene we looked upon. + +Had papa known all that had passed at that interview between Sophy +Needham and Robert Gregory, he would not have ridden out to Ramsgate +with his news, but would have acted upon it there and then, and perhaps +I should never have written this story; or, if I had done so, it would +have been very different to what it is. + +Long afterwards I learnt the history of that interview, and of many +others which had gone before it; and so I shall again have the pleasure +of dropping that first personal pronoun of which I am so tired, and of +relating the story as it was told to me. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +THE EXPLOSION. + + +There are some boys so naturally passionate and vicious, in whose +dispositions the evil so strongly predominates over the good, that we +are obliged to own that under no conceivable course of training could +they have turned out otherwise than bad. Some faults might have been +checked by early firmness, some vices eradicated by judicious kindness +and care, yet nothing could ever have altered the radical nature; +nothing could ever have made a fair, straight tree out of that crooked +and distorted sapling. Such a character was that of Robert Gregory, and +in his case there was no countervailing force, either of judicious +kindness or of proper severity, to check the strong tendency to evil in +his disposition. His mother had died when he was an infant, and his +father--who had married late in life, and who had no other +children,--indulged his every whim, and neither thwarted him in any +desire, nor punished him for any fault; and so he grew up an idle, +passionate, turbulent boy, pursuing his own way, and laughing to scorn +the entreaties and prayers of his weak father. As time went on, his +character developed; he chose his companions from the wildest and least +reputable youths of the neighbourhood, and soon became even wilder and +less reputable than the worst of them. He at length led such a life, +that his father was only too glad when he expressed a desire to go up to +London, in hopes that there, with other companions and habits, he might +yet retrieve himself. Robert Gregory was not all bad, he had his good +points, and with other training might have turned out, if not a good +man, at any rate not the character that Dr. Ashleigh had described. He +was good-natured and even generous--by fits and starts certainly--but +still enough so to make those who knew him as a boy, before he had got +entirely beyond all control, regret that his father, by his weakness and +injudicious kindness, was allowing him to grow up a curse to himself and +a nuisance to the whole neighbourhood. Any hopes his father may have +entertained of his reformation from the influence of a life in London, +were destined to be very shortly extinguished. He wrote at first flaming +accounts of the grand friends he was making, but lamenting their +expensive way of living, and begging more money to enable him to do as +they did. For months, for years, the letters came regularly, and always +demanding money, sometimes very large sums. Some of these letters were +accompanied by plausible tales that he wished to oblige his great +friends, through whom he shortly expected to obtain a lucrative +appointment. At other times he told the truth--various losses on the +turf, or heavy gambling debts which must, he said, be paid, or his +honour would be irretrievably lost. The old man patiently answered these +constant demands upon him, and paid without a complaint the large sums +required. He truly, although weakly, loved this reprobate son of his: he +knew that no remonstrances could now avail: he feared so to alienate the +liking which his son still felt for him by remonstrances which would +irritate, without reforming him, and so he continued to pay, and pay. +"The boy can have it but once," he said to himself; "as well now as at +my death; there will be enough to last my time." But there hardly was. +After Robert had been six years in London, during which he had only paid +three or four flying visits to his native place, he received a letter +from his father, asking him to let him know the total amount of his +debts; as he would rather settle the whole at once and set him clear, +than be continually asked for money. Robert consequently sent him a +list, which even he had grace enough left to be ashamed of. However, the +enormous amount was paid without a word; but a week afterwards a letter +came from his father, saying that in six years he had spent no less than +L40,000, and that now there only remained the house in which the old man +lived and a small farm which yielded a bare L200 a year; that this he +would not touch, and that not one single penny would he farther advance +his son; but that if he chose to come down and live with him, that he +would meet with a hearty welcome, and with not one word of reproach for +the past. Seeing no other course open to him, Robert Gregory came back +sulkily enough to the old house, where, as has before been said, the old +man did not live many months. + +Long as was the list of debts which Robert had sent up from London, it +had by no means comprised the whole of them. At his father's death, +therefore, he was obliged to mortgage the farm to nearly its full value, +to satisfy the most pressing of his creditors, and then, for the first +time in his life, Robert Gregory asked himself how he was to live. It +was by no means an easy question to answer; indeed, think the matter +over as he would, he could imagine no mode by which, even had he been +inclined to work, which he was not, he could have earned his living. It +was while he was vainly, week after week, endeavouring to solve this +problem, that the intention of Mr. Harmer to make Sophy Needham his +heiress was made public. Robert Gregory hailed the news as a direct +answer to his question--he would marry the heiress. He did not jump at +the conclusion in haste; he inquired closely concerning the habits of +the family at Harmer Place, of whom previously he had known nothing +except by name; he found that their life had been hitherto one of +seclusion, owing to the ascetic life of the Miss Harmers, and the +studious one of their brother; he heard of Sophy Needham's birth and +origin, and he heard, too, that society refused to visit her, and at +last he said to himself confidently and firmly, "I will marry her." +Having arrived at this determination, Robert Gregory at once proceeded +to act upon it, and soon had his whole scheme arranged to his +satisfaction. He felt that the matter was one which required time, and +he accordingly sold the farm for two or three hundred pounds beyond the +amount for which it was mortgaged, and on this sum he calculated to be +able to live until he was able to marry Sophy. + +This done, putting on a shooting suit, he day after day concealed +himself in the grounds at some distance from the house, at a spot from +which he could see when Sophy strolled out, and could watch the +direction she took. One day he perceived that the course she was +following in her ramble would lead her close to the boundary of the +property; making a circuit, he took his position on the other side of +the hedge, and therefore off the Harmer estate. When Sophy came along, +and he could see that she was immediately opposite him, separated only +by the hedge, he discharged both barrels of his gun. Sophy naturally +uttered an exclamation of surprise and alarm, and this was all he +needed. + +As if astonished at finding a lady so close to him, he crossed the +hedge, and lifting his hat, he apologized deeply for the alarm he had +given her, trusted that the shock had not been serious, and in fact made +so good a use of his time, that he managed to detain her in conversation +for a quarter of an hour. + +Robert Gregory, it has already been said, was a handsome man with a good +figure. His conversation and manners might not have passed muster in +critical society, still he had seen enough of the world to be able to +assume the air of a gentleman sufficiently well to deceive a girl who +had hardly ever conversed with a young man before in her life; his +address to her was straightforward and outspoken, and yet with something +deferential about it to which Sophy was quite unaccustomed, and which +gratified her exceedingly. + +The attempt of Robert Gregory was well-timed. Sophy knew that Mr. Harmer +had proclaimed her his heiress, and she felt, and felt keenly, that +society refused to call upon her or recognise her; she was naturally a +sensitive, shy girl, and the accident of her birth had been a constant +pain and sorrow to her, and she was, therefore, in exactly the frame of +mind to receive with greedy pleasure the expression of Robert Gregory's +deference and distantly expressed admiration. She noted no bad +expression in the handsome face which smiled upon her, she detected no +flaw in the fine figure which bent a little as he spoke to her; she only +saw one who treated her--her whom the world scorned and repelled--with +respectful deference and admiration; and from that moment her heart went +out freely and fully towards him. + +As he was leaving her, Robert Gregory mentioned that he lived on the +other side of Canterbury, but was out for a day's shooting on the +neighbouring estate. He said that on that day week he should again be +there, and asked her if she frequently walked in that direction; he +urged that he should feel really anxious to know if she had suffered +from the effect of the sudden alarm he had given her, and that he hoped +she would be kind enough to let him know how she was. + +Sophy coloured and paused, and then said that she frequently walked in +that direction, and that if he happened to see her as she went past, she +should of course be happy to assure him that she was not in the least +upset by the little start that she had had. And so they parted, and +Robert Gregory felt, that as far as she was concerned, the game was won. + +Again and again they met, and before very long he spoke of love to her; +and Sophy, whose life had been hitherto a joyless one, gave him her +heart without concealment, and found that, for the first time, she had +discovered happiness. But that happiness soon had its alloy of trouble. +When Christmas came, and the Bishop and his wife called, and society in +general followed their example, Sophy naturally wondered, and asked +Robert why he did not do the same. He was prepared for the question, +which he knew must come sooner or later, and his answer had long been +determined upon. He at once said that he threw himself entirely on her +mercy, and even if it were the signal for his dismissal from her side +for ever, he would tell her the truth. He told her that, owing to want +of control as a boy, he had been when a very young man, spendthrift and +wild, and that he had dissipated his fortune in folly and amusements. +That the Christian propriety of Canterbury had taken upon itself to be +greatly scandalized thereby; and that although he had long since given +up his former courses, and had returned and lived happily and quietly +with his old father, although that father himself had never complained +to him, or, he believed, to any one, of his previous folly, yet that +society in general had taken upon itself to refuse its assent to the +welcome of the prodigal, but had indeed desired him to go into a far +country and be fed upon husks. + +Sophy, instead of being shocked at all this, clung to him, as might have +been expected, all the closer. The well-affected scorn and bitterness +with which he spoke of the Christian charity of society, struck, as he +had intended it should, a sympathetic chord in her own breast; for had +not she, too, been declared under the ban of society, and for no fault +or sin of her own? It is true, society had now condescended to visit +her, but why? Was she any better or more honourably born than before? +Had her conduct in any way softened them towards her? Not a bit. A +bishop had said that she might be visited, and so the world had +graciously extended its hand and received her into its fold. But +although Sophy accepted the offered hand, she hated the giver of it; and +although she arrayed her face with a placid smile as she entered into +society, it only covered a sense of bitter outrage and of indignant +contempt. Nursing, as she did, feelings like these, it was with an +absolute sense of pleasure that she found that her lover, like herself, +was deemed an outcast. To her it was but one more new tie between them; +and when Robert had finished his confession, her own rage and wrongs +against society broke out in a stream of bitter, passionate words, and +Robert Gregory found there was far more in the ordinarily tranquil, +quiet woman before him than he had ever given her credit for. However, +her present frame of mind was most favourable for his plans, and he +therefore took good care to keep alive her resentment against the world, +in order to bind her more closely to himself. It was soon after this +that the fetes at Harmer Place were given. Robert Gregory managed to +obtain an invitation, but arranged with Sophy that he would not dance +with her, alleging the truth, that if he did so, society would be sure +to poison Mr. Harmer's mind against him, and render his consent to their +marriage out of the question; and Sophy was content to follow his +guidance in all things, and to see everything with his eyes. + +The real difficulties of Robert Gregory's course were only yet +beginning. Sophy was, indeed, won; but it was Sophy's money, and not +herself, that he cared for; now Sophy's money at present depended upon +Mr. Harmer, and not upon herself; and Robert feared that in the event of +a runaway match, Mr. Harmer would very materially alter his will. Still, +on the other hand, her grandfather was extremely fond of her; he had no +one else to leave his money to, and he might in time reinstate her in +his favour. At last he asked Sophy if she thought Mr. Harmer would, +after a time, forgive her if she made a runaway match with him, for he +had no hope of ever obtaining his consent beforehand. Sophy was very +loath to answer the question. She was quite ready to marry Robert, but +she shrank from the thought of paining the old man who had been so kind +to her. However, as Robert again and again returned to the point, she at +last came to discuss it as calmly as he did. + +"Yes, she thought Mr. Harmer would be reconciled to her; she believed he +would miss her so much, that he would be sure to forgive her in a short +time; it was not in his nature to bear malice to any one. Yes, he would +soon come round; indeed, she was certain that if Robert would but make +himself known to him, that Mr. Harmer would not care for what other +people said, but would judge for himself, and would esteem and like him +as she did." + +This course Sophy pressed very much upon her lover, with many loving +entreaties and tears, for she really loved Mr. Harmer truly, and shrank +from grieving him. These entreaties, however, Robert always gently, but +decidedly put aside. He said that Mr. Harmer would be certain to believe +the edict of society against him, would decline to grant him any +opportunity of justifying himself, and would refuse to allow him to +enter the house. Besides he would be just as angry at discovering the +secret understanding which existed between them, as he would be at their +marriage, and he would be certain to forbid all intercourse between +them, and perhaps even insert a condition in his will forbidding her to +marry him under pain of the forfeiture of his fortune. For Robert made +no secret from Sophy that her money would be of the greatest use to +them; not, as he put it, that he cared for money for its own sake, but +that if they were rich they could spend their life abroad, where no +scoff or sneer of society could reach them, and where they should never +be disturbed by the sarcasms and whispers of the world; while they, in +their turn, would be able to show society how heartily they despised it, +and how well they could do without it. + +Sophy, in her present state of mind, thought all this very grand and +heroic, and really believed that her lover spoke in a noble and +disinterested manner; and as she was herself perfectly conscious of the +advantages of wealth, she quite agreed that, if possible, her fortune +should not be sacrificed. + +Robert, then, at last, succeeded in persuading her that a runaway match +was the only alternative, and as she really believed that she would be +very soon forgiven by Mr. Harmer, it was at length arranged to take +place shortly. This was in the spring of the year, and their secret +acquaintance had then continued eighteen months. The date was fixed for +the elopement, when the paralytic stroke which Mr. Harmer had put a stop +to all their plans; and this for two reasons: pressed as he again was +for money--for his creditors, who had been only partially paid before, +were now becoming clamorous--Robert Gregory felt that with Mr. Harmer at +the point of death it would be perfect madness to run the risk of Sophy +being disinherited, when a few weeks might leave her the undisputed +owner of L75,000; so although sorely harassed for money, he was content +to wait. The other reason was that Sophy was full of remorse at the +thought that she had been at the point of deserting her benefactor. She +met Robert now very seldom, but devoted herself to Mr. Harmer. As, +however, the weeks ran on, he slowly but surely recovered health and +became his former self, and her constant attendance on him was no longer +needed; so she fell back to her old habits; her meetings in the +plantation became more frequent, and his influence resumed its power +over her. Robert Gregory had discernment enough to suit his behaviour to +his words: when the old man was at his worst, he was full of tender +commiseration for her; when he began to recover, he pretended a warm +interest in his health, although inwardly he was filled with rage and +chagrin at his convalescence. At length his own affairs arrived at such +a crisis that he was in momentary fear of arrest, and he felt that once +in prison his union with Sophy must be postponed at any rate till after +Mr. Harmer's death, which now again appeared to be a distant event. He, +therefore, once more began to persuade Sophy to elope with him; but he +had a far more difficult task than before. All his old arguments were +brought forward; but it was some time before he could succeed. +Gradually, however, her old habit of listening to his opinion prevailed; +she allowed herself to be persuaded that her grandfather might now live +for many years, and that he could for a short time dispense with her +services; that as she had been so useful to him during his illness, and +as he must be more attached to her than ever, it was quite certain that +he could not for long remain proof to her entreaties for forgiveness. + +And so at last, but not without many tears and much bitter +self-reproach, Sophy consented to an elopement--consented at that very +interview coming from which Dr. Ashleigh surprised Robert Gregory--who, +elated by his success, was making his way off without observing his +usual care and precaution. + +At breakfast on the following morning, Mr. Harmer remarked that Sophy +looked pale and ill; she answered that her head ached sadly, but that +she had no doubt a stroll in the grounds would do it good. After +breakfast she accordingly went out, and, after wandering for some time +carelessly in sight of the house, she made her usual circuit to avoid +observation, and then entered the plantation near the road. She found +Robert Gregory waiting for her under the tree where they had now met for +just two years, sometimes once a week, sometimes once a month, according +to the time of year, and the opportunities Sophy had for rambling about. +Robert looked anxiously at her as she came up, to see if there were any +signs of flinching or drawing back in her pale face, but there were +none. Sophy was quiet and shy, but she had a fund of quiet determination +and courage within her. He kissed her tenderly. "You are looking pale +this morning, little one." + +"I daresay," she answered, "for I have not closed my eyes all night. Is +everything ready?" + +"Quite. I shall be with the gig in the road just outside that gap, a +minute or two before a quarter past eight; if you will get here a few +minutes after that time, we shall be able to catch the nine o'clock +train to London easily. I shall take you to an Hotel near Euston Square, +and we will go on by the early train to Scotland, and shall be half way +there before they find out in the morning that you are gone. You can +trust me, dearest?" + +"Yes, Robert," Sophy said quietly. "I have trusted you all these +meetings here, and I have found you an honourable gentleman, and I am +not going to distrust you now. I feel sure that all will turn out as we +wish, and that grandpapa will forgive me very soon, and take us both +into favour; and I hope that in a fortnight we shall be back here again, +forgiven and welcome." Sophy spoke cheerfully, for she really believed +what she said. + +"Are you sure to be able to slip out unobserved?" + +"Quite sure, Robert. I shall go up to bed at eight, and ask not to be +disturbed, as I wish to sleep. I shall bring a bag with me, and shall +put on a thick veil, so as not to be recognized by any one as we go +through Canterbury. I have, as I told you, plenty of money. Good-bye +now, Robert, I must not wait here any longer." + +"Good bye, dear, till this evening." + +He looked after her as she went lightly away among the trees, her +footsteps scarcely sounding in the limp, new-fallen autumn leaves, and a +shade of compunction came over his face. He was certainly a blackguard, +he knew it well, but, by heavens, he would try to make this little girl +happy. They would be rich some day, and then they would travel for +years, and when he came back his evil name would have died out, and he +could then lead a quiet, happy life, perhaps at the old house there; and +then--and then, who knows; perhaps little children would grow up round +him: surely then he must be happy. Could it be--good God! could it be +possible that he might yet turn out a good man after all? "Yes, there +was hope for him yet." And as Robert Gregory turned away, there was a +tear in his eye, which was even now growing heavy and red from long +excesses and hard drinking, and a sigh, and a half prayer from the +heart, from which for long years such things had ceased to rise. + +The next morning at ten o'clock, as Sophy had not come down to +breakfast, Mr. Harmer, as he went into the library, desired the servant +to take his compliments to Miss Needham, and inquire how she felt. +Presently the servant came into the library looking very pale and +scared. "If you please, sir, Miss Sophy is not in her room, but there +was this letter for you laying on the table." So saying, the girl +hastily left the room, to relate to the other servants the extraordinary +fact that Miss Sophy was not in her room, and that her bed had not been +slept in. + +The letter to Mr. Harmer was as follows:-- + + "My dearest Grandpapa, + + "If you were other than you are, this letter would not be + written; I should not dare to plead my cause with you; but I + know you so well--I know how kind and good you are--and so I + venture to hope for your forgiveness. I am very wicked, + grandpapa; I am going away without your consent to be married. + He--my husband that is to be--is named Robert Gregory. He has + told me frankly that men do not speak well of him, and that + when he was young he was wild and bad. He tells me so, and I + must believe him; but he must have been very different to what + he is now--for now I know him to be good and noble. I have + known him long--I own it with shame that I have never told you + before, and many tears the concealment has cost me; but, oh, + grandpapa, had I told you, you would have sent him away, and I + should have lost him. He and you are all I have in the world; + let me keep you both. He showed me kindness when all the world, + except you--my kindest and best of friends--turned their backs + upon me, and I could not give him up. While I write now, my + eyes are full of tears, and my heart bleeds to think of the + pain this will give you, after all your goodness to me. Oh, + forgive me. Do for my sake, dear, dear grandpapa, see him and + judge for yourself. I only ask this, and then I know you will + forgive him and me. Write soon to me--only one word--say you + forgive me, and let me be your little Sophy once more. I shall + not love you the less for loving him, and much as I love him, + without your forgiveness my life will indeed be miserable. + + "Write soon, grandpapa--write soon, and say you forgive me, and + that I shall again be your own-- + + "SOPHY." + +Presently the Misses Harmer--who always breakfasted much earlier +together, and then retired to a dressing-room they had fitted up as a +small oratory--were surprised at loud talking, and confusion in the +house. In a short time their own maid knocked at the door, and then came +in with a face full of excitement, to say that Miss Sophy had not slept +in her bed, and that they had searched the whole house, and found no +signs of her. + +"Does my brother know?" Miss Harmer asked, after hearing the whole story +very quietly to the end. + +"I can't say, ma'am; there was a letter on Miss Sophy's table, which +Mary took into Mr. Harmer, in the library, when she first found it, and +he has not come out since." + +The Misses Harmer, with their usual deliberate walk, went down stairs, +and then into the library. + +Mr. Harmer was sitting at the table, with his back to the door, and did +not turn round at their approach. They went up. Beside him on the table +lay an open letter--the one from Sophy;--in his hand was a pen, and +before him a sheet of paper. On it he had written: "My dearest Sophy, +come back; I forgive"--but the handwriting was strangely indistinct, and +the last word, the word "forgive," was large and sprawling, like a +schoolboy's writing, and then the pen stopped, and had stopped for +ever;--Herbert Harmer was dead. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +A BAD BUSINESS. + + +"Mr. Harmer is dead! Sophy Needham is missing!" + +Such was the news a groom, riding into Canterbury for a doctor, brought; +such was the telegram which a friend at once sent down to us at +Ramsgate. + +Mr. Harmer dead! Sophy Needham missing! It flashed like wildfire through +Canterbury, and the quiet old town was again shaken out of its lethargy +by the intelligence. Mr. Harmer, during his lifetime, had been a +standing topic of conversation; he had on several occasions quite roused +it from the even tenor of its way, but this last sensation was greater +and more astounding than any of its predecessors, and Canterbury enjoyed +it with proportionate gusto. + +"Sophy Needham eloped with that notorious reprobate, Robert +Gregory"--for the Misses Harmer, by their invectives on reading the +letter, at once had told those round them with whom Sophy had fled-- +"and poor Mr. Harmer gone off in a fit in consequence!!" It was indeed a +terrible affair, and it was not mended in the telling. By the time the +tale had made its round, it had swollen to extraordinary +proportions--fresh additions were made by each mouth through which it +passed, until at last it was extremely difficult to find out what the +truth of the matter was. + +From the simple report that Sophy Needham had eloped with Robert +Gregory, and that it had killed poor Mr. Harmer, the transition was easy +to--"and _he_ had killed poor Mr. Harmer;" and details of the supposed +murder grew till it became a tragedy of the most coldblooded +description. + +The groom's statement that the Misses Harmer were in a dreadful state +about it, soon lost the last two words, and grew into,--"The Misses +Harmer were also attacked, and were lying in a dreadful state." + +Altogether, although Robert Gregory and Sophy were undoubtedly much to +blame, and had acted very wrongly, I believe they would hardly have +recognised themselves or their doings, in the two fiends in human shape, +whose deeds were commented upon in Canterbury that afternoon. + +The next day the real truth of the story became known, and there was +some feeling of disappointment that things were not as bad as had been +reported; but even then the opinion in respect to Sophy and her lover +were hardly modified;--give a dog a bad name and you may as well hang +him. + +This couple had been accused of murder and violence, and, although the +charge was now disproved, yet it was universally agreed that these +crimes might, and in all probability would have been perpetrated, had +the fugitives been detected at the time of their flight. Sophy's conduct +was so atrocious, her ingratitude to Mr. Harmer so base, that there was +no question that a nature so depraved would hesitate at nothing. The +ladies of the Canterbury society were the more inclined to insist upon +this, as it justified the views they had originally entertained of the +impropriety of calling upon the young person at Harmer Place, and the +doubts, they now affirmed they had always experienced of the possibility +of such a person ever turning out otherwise than badly. They felt, +therefore, that they had attained a great triumph over their husbands, +who had been, on the whole, inclined to differ from their opinions. They +had always, they said, predicted something of the kind from the time +when they had heard of Mr. Harmer's intention towards her, and it really +appeared to them to be almost a judgment upon him, for his infatuation, +and for his venturing to fly in the face of the public feelings of +morality and propriety in the way he had done. + +Some of the husbands, indeed, even now ventured to offer excuses for +Sophy, and to point out that a good deal might be urged in her +behalf--her lonely position, her ignorance of the world, and of the +character of the man she had gone off with; and, still more, the +temptation to which she would be exposed by such an unprincipled +blackguard as Robert Gregory. But these suggestions were contemptuously +put aside. The bad character of the man, in place of being a palliation, +was an aggravation of the offence, and this was satisfactorily proved by +that _argumentum ad hominem_ in which women so delight. + +"You know very well, my dear, that if your own daughter had gone off +with such a man, you would have considered it a very much worse +business, and have been far more angry about it, than if she had run +away with some gentleman of position and character; so how can you now +talk such nonsense as to say that the man's bad character is a +palliation of her fault?" + +I have often wondered why it is that we women are so much more severe +upon offenders of our own sex than men are. Is it that men know so much +more of life and human nature than we do? Is it that they know how +comparatively few women ever are seriously thus tempted during their +lives, and how hard it is to withstand great trials of this kind? Is it +because they know, too, that very few of us who are so loud and so +bitter in our contempt for those who fall, but would, if placed under +the same circumstances, and exposed to the same temptation, have acted +precisely in the same way? I think it must be that; and when I hear +women so loud and bitter in their denunciations, and when I see men look +grieved and sorry, but say nothing, I cannot help thinking sometimes, +that it would be better if we judged not so harshly and scornfully of +those who have fallen under a temptation to which we, through God's +mercy, have never been exposed. + +Of course, next to the startling events which had taken place, the great +question upon which the interest of Canterbury was fixed, was whether +Mr. Harmer had destroyed his will or not before he died. But this was a +point upon which no one could enlighten them, and all awaited with +intense interest the day of the funeral, after which it would, of +course, be known all about it. + +To us at Ramsgate the news came with a terrible shock. Papa, who had +settled to have gone over on that day, had, from some reason or other, +postponed it to the next; consequently, he was with me when the boy +arrived from the station with the telegram at about twelve o'clock. + +It happened to be a wet day, so that, contrary to our usual habit, we +were indoors when the boy came up with the note. Papa signed the +receipt, and the lad left before he opened it. When he did so, he +glanced at the contents, and dropped it on the table with almost a +groan. + +"What is it, papa?" I asked, dreadfully alarmed; "may I read it?" Papa +motioned assent, and my heart almost stood still as I read the terrible +tidings-- + +"Mr. Harmer is dead; Sophy Needham is missing." + +It was a dreadful shock; and yet we had talked and thought so much the +last two days of Sophy and Robert Gregory, and of the consequences the +discovery of their connection might have upon Mr. Harmer, that it could +be hardly said to come upon us as a surprise. For some time we were too +shocked to speak at all. At last I said-- + +"Poor Mr. Harmer! how dreadful!" + +"Rather poor Sophy," papa said. "Unfortunate, misguided girl, how +bitterly she will repent this! What a life-long remorse hers will be! +She has sacrificed the happiness of her own life by joining it to that +of Robert Gregory, and she has caused her benefactor's death; and +whatever be the folly, whatever the terrible fault of Sophy's conduct +now, undoubtedly she loved him dearly." + +While papa was speaking, another telegram arrived, and this time from +Miss Harmer, for the former one was sent by a friend who had heard the +news, and knowing our interest in it, had at once forwarded it to us, +while the groom who brought it in, was searching for a doctor to go over +at once. Miss Harmer's message was only-- + +"Please come at once. My brother is dead." + +On the receipt of this, we consulted a timetable, found a train would +start in half an hour, and in a few minutes papa started, leaving me to +cry over the news I had heard--to cry as much for Sophy as for Mr. +Harmer--(for, from what papa said, she was indeed to be pitied), and to +look forward anxiously to his return with full particulars of the +terrible event. + +I shall tell the story of his visit to Harmer Place, and its results, as +he told it to me; and I may here mention that in future, in this +narrative of mine, I shall always drop the first person when I am +telling of events at which I was not myself present, and shall relate +them in the order in which they happened, and not when they were told to +me, which was not, in some cases, till years after. + +When Dr. Ashleigh arrived at Harmer Place, he was shown at once into the +drawing-room, where in a few minutes he was joined by the Misses Harmer. + +As nothing has been said of the personal appearance of the Misses Harmer +from the time when their brother met them, twenty-one years before this +date, and as they will in future play a far more important part in this +narrative than they have hitherto done, it is proper to say what they +were like at this period. + +The Misses Harmer, when their brother left England in the year 1795, a +boy of sixteen, were aged respectively twenty and twenty-one, and were +consequently at the time of his death, in the year 1848, seventy-three +and seventy-four. At the time when they were last described they were +extremely similar in appearance, and, indeed, might almost have been +mistaken one for the other, but there was now a great and marked +difference between them: the younger sister looked the elder of the two +by at least ten years. The ascetic life, the severe self-repressive +discipline to which they had subjected themselves, seemed to have worn +out the one sister while it had but hardened the other--hardened her +till her impassive face had a stony and petrified appearance. Of the +two, she had, perhaps, been originally the woman of the stronger +passions and the more determined will; and yet her more vigorous +constitution had enabled her to support that lonely, hard, loveless +life, and to come through it harder and sterner than before, while her +weaker sister was fast succumbing to the long and weary struggle. + +Angela's bended head was more bowed now than of yore, her look more mild +and gentle; the light of that peace which was to her fast +approaching--when watching, and penance, and tears should be all +over--seemed to shine already on her face, and to soften its hard, +unhappy outlines. + +Cecilia was more upright than before. The comparatively cheerful life +she had led at her brother's house for nearly twenty years, had, to a +certain extent, worn off the look and habit of repression and humility +which she had gained from her early residence in a convent, and +afterwards with her stern elder brothers. She had too, for all these +last twenty years, been working with a purpose--a vague one indeed, and, +seemingly, a hopeless one, but yet to her a holy purpose, worthy of her +dedicating her life to attain--namely, the hope that her brother might +yet return to the old faith, or that, if he died before them, he might +leave them his property; so that, in either of these cases, the Roman +Church might reap the rich harvest which her elder brothers had intended +for it. This hope had been to a great extent defeated by the declared +intentions of Herbert Harmer, and yet she clung desperately to it. + +The Bishop of Ravenna had cheered them all this time with his letters +and his counsel; but even he had almost given up all hope of ever +winning their rich property for the Church; but Cecilia never despaired, +and when she had hurried back again on the news of Mr. Harmer's first +paralytic seizure, it was with the strong hope and conviction that he +would yet on his deathbed alter his will, abjure the errors of the faith +he had adopted, and be received and forgiven by Mother Church. However, +events had not turned out as she had hoped. Herbert Harmer had died a +member of his new faith, and the estate was certainly not willed to the +sisters, and Cecilia, while she endured a true sense of sorrow for her +brother's loss, yet mingled with it a deep feeling of disappointment and +rage, and a stern determination that the labour of her life should not +be frustrated. + +Doctor Ashleigh, when they entered the room, saw at once that both +sisters were much agitated, and yet in a different way. Both had +evidently been crying; but Miss Harmer seemed endeavouring to keep down +her grief by a fierce, angry determination; while Angela's sorrow was +mingled with a strange, timid, anxious manner, which Dr. Ashleigh could +not understand. + +"You received our message, Dr. Ashleigh, and are aware of the terrible +event which has taken place here?" + +"I am, Miss Harmer, and am indeed shocked to hear it." + +"You have heard that our brother was murdered?" + +"Murdered!" Dr. Ashleigh said aghast; for he had heard some of the +floating rumours as he passed through the town, but had quite +disbelieved them. + +"Yes, Dr. Ashleigh, my brother was murdered--killed by the conduct of +that wretched, ungrateful woman; murdered as much as if she had stabbed +him to the heart." + +"Really, Miss Harmer," the Doctor said, "you alarmed me for a moment +into believing that my old friend had met his end by foul play. Sophy's +conduct is inexcusable, and I do not wish to enter into any defence of +it; but still she can hardly be termed a murderess." + +"I can see no distinction, Dr. Ashleigh," Miss Harmer said; and as she +spoke her tall figure seemed to gain additional height, her eyes +flashed, and her colour rose angrily. "My brother, Dr. Ashleigh, was on +the fair way to perfect recovery--you, yourself, told me so--and that +only some sudden shock would be likely to throw him back again, but that +another attack would probably be fatal. That shock, this wretched girl +deliberately and knowingly gave him, and I say she is as wilfully the +murderess of the man who had picked her from the kennel where she was +born, as if she had given him poison. I pray that her sin may be +punished by divine law, if it cannot be by human. I pray that the man +for whom she has murdered my brother may turn out a constant retribution +and curse to her. May she never know happiness again. May her children, +if she bear them, cause her the misery she has brought on us. May----" + +"Hold, Miss Harmer!" Dr. Ashleigh said sternly, stepping forward and +laying his hand impressively on the excited woman's arm. "Forbear! +Blessings and curses proceed from God alone. At present your grief at +this sad affair urges you to say things which in your calmer moments you +would be, I am sure, the first to regret. This unhappy girl has +assuredly grievously erred, and grievous have been the consequences; and +she will, undoubtedly, have to expiate it by a life-long sorrow and +repentance--and her bitterest enemy need wish her no worse punishment +than her own thoughts and the husband she has chosen." + +"We need not discuss the question, Dr. Ashleigh!" Miss Harmer said, +angrily. "Nothing will ever alter my feelings towards this wretched girl! +Nothing can ever soften the horror and loathing I feel towards her! +Nothing shall ever induce me to see her face again! She may be beyond +human law, but in my sight she is a murderess!" + +Dr. Ashleigh saw that in Miss Harmer's present state of nervous and +excited feeling, any argument which he could urge would be only vain, +and would, indeed, tend to heighten her anger. He therefore remained +silent. + +Angela Harmer had not yet spoken, but it was evident that she--as far as +her milder nature could go--sympathized with her sister's anger, and yet +sorrow was with her predominant. She had seated herself in a large +arm-chair by the fire, on entering; and most of the time she sat with +her face hidden in her hands, and the Doctor could see the tears trickle +through her withered fingers. Sometimes, however, when her sister was +speaking she looked up with an anxious deprecating glance, but Cecilia +heeded her not; but, when she had done speaking, walked up and down the +room with her hands tightly clenched, her eyes flashing with anger--even +through the tears of sorrow which rolled unheeded down her cheek;--her +whole form so inspired by her emotion, that Dr. Ashleigh could hardly +believe her to be the quiet self-contained woman he had known so long. + +At last she became more calm, stopped before him, and said, "Dr. +Ashleigh, you were our brother's greatest friend; may I ask you to see +to all arrangements connected with his funeral. We should wish him to be +buried in such state as is becoming to the last of an old race. Alas! +that he cannot be laid where his fore-fathers have been! Will you see to +all this?" + +"I will, Miss Harmer, willingly. I do not know whether you have any +particular wishes as to where he should be laid? I have heard him +express a preference for the village churchyard here. I do not know +whether he has mentioned his wishes in his will." + +"I know nothing of the will whatever!" Miss Harmer said positively, and +Dr. Ashleigh noticed her sister cast one of the frightened glances +towards her which he had before perceived. "I know nothing whatever of +the will," she repeated steadily; "but if he expressed any preference +for Sturry, let it be so. And now, Dr. Ashleigh," and here her voice +softened, "I do not know that we have any more to say: you will wish, of +course, to go up to see our poor brother. We shall see you, I hope, +to-morrow or next day." So saying, the Misses Harmer took their leave of +Dr. Ashleigh, and retired to their own rooms, while he took the +well-known way to his old friend's bed-room. + +As he went up-stairs he met Mary--the girl who had been Sophy Needham's +maid--coming down. Her eyes were red with crying. She curtsied to the +Doctor as he passed--for they all loved him, and he had ever a kind word +for all he met. "This is a sad affair, Mary!" he said. + +"Dreadful, Sir," the girl answered. "Will you please to tell me what has +become of Miss Sophy? We are all so anxious to know the real truth." + +"I am afraid she has eloped with Mr. Gregory," the Doctor said, gravely; +"there is no secret about it." + +"I was afraid she was gone, Sir, when I went into her room this morning, +and found the bed had not been slept in, and the letter for Mr. Harmer +on the table. It gave me such a turn, Sir; you might have knocked me +down with a breath." + +"Did Mr. Harmer say anything when you gave him the letter?" the Doctor +asked, anxiously. + +"No, Sir! I gave him the letter and went straight out, for I was +frightened; he was sitting at the table just as he was when we found him +dead--just the same. He was a kind, good master, Sir, as ever +lived--never angry or put out; and he forgived Miss Sophy with his dying +breath." And the girl began to cry again. + +"How do you know he forgave Miss Sophy?" Dr. Ashleigh asked, stopping, +for he was just continuing his way up-stairs. "How do you know he +forgave Miss Sophy?" + +"This way. Sir. When the Misses Harmer went into the room, I went and +stood at the door to listen, for we all wanted to hear what had become +of poor Miss Sophy. They went up to the table and leant over him, and +gave a cry; and I ran in, and they were lifting him up, and on the table +before him was a letter he had just begun to write, it was only five or +six words, but I saw it began 'My dearest Sophy;' I did not read +anything else, but the last two words were 'I forgive.' They were writ +very large indeed, and I could not help seeing them, Sir, as I helped to +lift him up. After he had been carried up-stairs I went into the library +to get that letter, Sir--for I knew it would be a great comfort to poor +Miss Sophy--but when I got there it was gone. I asked the servants but +none of them had seen it, so I suppose one of the Misses Harmer had +taken care of it." + +"I am very glad you told me this, Mary, very glad! It will indeed be a +great comfort to your poor young mistress." So saying the Doctor went +into the dead man's room. + +Mr. Harmer lay on his bed, and the warm light of the afternoon sun +streamed bright and full upon his face. It was tranquil and peaceful as +in life, and his lips were parted in a calm smile--a smile as of the +peace and forgiveness he felt as he died. + +The Doctor looked into his old friend's face, and the tears welled up +into his eyes. "He died as he lived," he said to himself, "forgiving as +he also would be forgiven. Dear old friend, we have spent many a happy +hour together; yet, dying as you died, how can I grieve for you?" + +The Doctor stood for some time sadly musing by the bed-side; and then +turning softly away, was soon on his way back to Canterbury, where he +gave the necessary orders and then returned to Ramsgate. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +MISSING! + + +Mr. Harmer died on Friday morning, and it was arranged that his funeral +should take place on that day week. On the day preceding Dr. Ashleigh +left Ramsgate early, and went direct to his own house, to see several +patients who were to call upon him there prior to his going out on his +rounds. Most of those he expected had called, and he was sitting alone +in his library when the door opened and the servant announced "Mr. +Gregory." + +Dr. Ashleigh rose from his seat, with a cold, haughty look on his face, +such as had not for many years been seen upon it. Robert Gregory's face +wore a mingled air of anxiety and triumph, slightly veiled under an +expression of gravity and decorum which he had assumed as suitable to +the occasion. He was evidently much embarrassed how to begin, and the +extremely repellant and hostile expression of Dr. Ashleigh's face did +not assist him in his difficulty. + +"May I ask," the Doctor said, "to what I owe this visit?" + +"I have called, Dr. Ashleigh," Robert Gregory began, in a voice to which +he in vain attempted to give its usual loud, careless tone. "I have +called from my wife to ask you--you to whom she alone could apply at the +present time--to give her some intelligence respecting the death of her +grandfather." + +"If the unfortunate girl who has become your wife will call upon me +herself, I will give her every information and assistance in my power. +With you I will hold no communication whatever." + +Robert Gregory bit his lips angrily, and his eye flashed: he was a man +but little accustomed to be thwarted. However, as he felt that any +outburst of anger would only injure his cause, and could do him no good, +after a momentary, but fierce struggle with himself, he went on quietly. + +"You are naturally indignant with me, Dr. Ashleigh. I know that after +the sad consequences which have ensued you cannot be otherwise, and am +aware that it is useless my making any excuses or protestations. I know +that the only way in which I can ever justify the course I have taken +will be by making Sophy happy, and by proving that her love and +confidence in me are not so greatly misplaced, and that, after all, I am +not so utter a scamp as the world gives me credit for." + +Undoubtedly the man had carefully thought over beforehand what he +intended to say, and yet he spoke earnestly, for he really meant what he +said, and Dr. Ashleigh, a shrewd observer of men, saw that he did so, +and his face rather softened in its expression. Robert Gregory observed +the change, and went on. + +"I myself should never have come on this errand could she have done so. +But the truth is a friend telegraphed the news to me, and the message +reached me only on Monday morning, as I was returning leisurely from the +north. Sophy is nearly out of her mind, and the doctor I called in to +see her fears that she will have an attack of brain fever. I should not +have left, but her cry was unceasing to know the details of his death, +and whether he said a word of forgiveness to her. I came down by this +morning's train, and return by the one o'clock to London." + +Dr. Ashleigh was softened now; he saw by the man's anxious face and +changed voice that he was truly in earnest, and that although he had +unquestionably wooed and married Sophy for her money, yet that he did +really care for herself, and the Doctor thought that her chance of +happiness was, after all, better than he had imagined it. + +"I am sorry to hear what you say about your wife," he said, in quite a +different tone to that which he had previously adopted, "although I +cannot say I am surprised. The knowledge that the news of her flight had +caused Mr. Harmer's death must of necessity be a terrible grief and +sorrow to her. On that head, however, I truly rejoice that I can give +her some consolation and alleviate her remorse. Mr. Harmer forgave her. +Her letter was taken in to him, and he was found dead with it before +him, and a sheet of paper on which he had begun a letter to her. The +last words he ever wrote were: 'I forgive.' Tell her this from me." + +Robert Gregory's face lit up with pleasure, and this time the emotion +was not purely of a selfish kind. He was glad, very glad for Sophy's +sake to hear that Mr. Harmer had forgiven her before he died; indeed, +even for his own sake he felt the news to be a relief. Hardened as he +was, he could not have felt easy with the knowledge that that good old +man had died invoking a curse upon him with his last breath. But +although for both these reasons he received the news with pleasure, it +was as nothing to the satisfaction he felt at the account which had been +given him of Mr. Harmer's death; for it was quite evident from it that +he had died leaving his will unaltered--he had died a few minutes after +finding Sophy was gone, with his unfinished letter of forgiveness before +him--had probably never even risen from his chair, and had certainly +taken no steps towards altering or cancelling his will. Gratified as he +felt, however, he speedily repressed all show of his feelings, for he +felt that Dr. Ashleigh was watching him, and he knew that his good will +and countenance would be of great service at this time; besides which, +for Sophy's sake, he wished to stand well with him, for Sophy, he knew, +esteemed and loved Dr. Ashleigh more than any other man, now Mr. Harmer +was dead. He, therefore, after a minute's silence, said with an air of +frankness: + +"I am, indeed, glad to hear what you tell me, Dr. Ashleigh. It will be +an immense relief to poor Sophy, and even to myself, for it is not +pleasant to lie under the curse of a dead man; besides which, it would +be idle of me to pretend that I am not very gratified to hear that Mr. +Harmer took no steps towards altering his will. As you, a man of the +world, will naturally suppose, Sophy's wealth was the great inducement +to me, when I first sought her; and although I trust to prove to her and +to you, that I have now learnt to love her truly for herself, I am +still, of course, very glad to hear that her property is not forfeited. +It is now time that I should return to the train, and I hope that my +news may have a good effect upon Sophy's health. I shall be down again +the day after to-morrow, not to attend the funeral, but to be present at +the reading of the will, which will, I suppose, take place afterwards." + +"It will," Dr. Ashleigh said. "Miss Harmer wrote to the solicitor in +London yesterday, informing him of her brother's death, and begging him +to be down at the funeral, which takes place at two o'clock. And now, +Mr. Gregory, will you say to Sophy, that her grandfather forgave her +freely and at once, and that it is not for me, whom she has not injured, +to judge more severely than he has done; will you tell her from me, that +in my daughter and myself she will find friends glad to welcome her +back, and to forget the past. For yourself, Mr. Gregory, it would be +folly to say that a strong prejudice does not exist, you best know +whether justly or not. However, these days are past, and it is now, +according as you treat Sophy, that you will be received, at any rate by +us. Make her happy; try and dry the tears which the consequences of her +love for you have caused to flow, and you will find that we shall be +glad to know you as Sophy's husband." + +So saying, Dr. Ashleigh held out his hand to the man before him, and +Robert Gregory, as he grasped it, experienced a feeling of real +gratification. He knew that this was a truly good man, and that his +course towards Sophy was in no way altered by the fact of her being an +heiress, but because she had been forgiven by his old friend Mr. Harmer, +and for the sake of the many years of affectionate intercourse he had +had with herself. He was gratified, too, by what the Doctor had said +respecting himself, for the countenance and friendship of a good man can +be appreciated even by the worst character. And so Robert Gregory took +his leave of Dr. Ashleigh and returned to town with a softened, although +exultant heart. The Doctor then went over to Harmer Place and saw the +sisters. They passed most of their time in their own rooms, engaged in +earnest prayer for the benefit of their brother's soul; and once, when +the Doctor had been there, they spoke to him in glowing terms of the +power which their church possessed to forgive all sins, even the +greatest. While they thus spoke their eyes lit up with a strange, +passionate fervour of religious zeal--that fierce, burning zeal, which +has for so many centuries made men equally ready to martyrize others or +to die martyrs themselves--that zeal which has led some to give up all +worldly goods, and live the life of wandering beggars, and others to +allow no scruple to interfere with any deed which can enrich and benefit +the church to which they belong. To these remarks Dr. Ashleigh returned +no answer; he was at all times indisposed to enter into religious +arguments, and with women in the exalted state of mind in which the +Misses Harmer were, it would have been worse than useless. On this +occasion, however, he found them both in a calmer state, and he +mentioned to them that he had seen Robert Gregory, and that he spoke of +coming up on the part of his wife after the funeral. For a minute or so +they were silent, and then Miss Harmer said, with stern vehemence,-- + +"Let him come--I presume it is his right; but never again while I live +shall the murderer of my brother darken this door." + +The Doctor half smiled at the idle threat, while Angela Harmer glanced +up at her sister from under her drooping eyelids. + +"I should, perhaps, rather say," Miss Harmer corrected herself, "as long +as I am in this house; if he enter, I leave it. Harmer Place shall never +hold together for one day the sisters of Herbert Harmer and his +murderers." + +The Doctor was silent, for he thought that what she said would certainly +turn out correct, for he did not deem it probable that Robert Gregory, +when he came into possession, was at all the man to invite the two +Misses Harmer to take up their abode with him. + +The next night Dr. Ashleigh did not return to Ramsgate. Harry was to +arrive by the late train from the North, and after the funeral they were +to go down to Ramsgate, where it was arranged they should stop for a +week or two. After that, as we should be well able to afford it, papa +had settled to go on to the Continent for the winter with me. + +Accordingly, the next day Herbert Harmer was laid in his grave in the +quiet churchyard of Sturry. Agreeably to Miss Harmer's wishes, the +funeral was celebrated with a pomp which he who had gone had never +desired for himself while alive. The hearse and mourning-coaches, each +with their four horses and tossing feathers, the man in front with the +tray of sable plumes, the mutes in long array--all was done in the best +style, and people came in from quite a long distance to see it. A good +many of his old Canterbury friends sent their carriages to join the +procession, but there were not many real mourners among those who +followed. The first mourning-coach contained Dr. Ashleigh, his son, and +the solicitor, who had arrived just as the cortege was starting; the +other coaches contained the principal tenants, who had liked their late +landlord, and who had always found him compliant and kind in the +extreme; they had, however, very seldom seen him, as since his son's +death he had gone very little himself among his tenants, although he had +always kept himself well informed concerning the affairs of each of +them. As the procession wound through the village many a blessing and +prayer was murmured for the dead man; there, indeed, he had been a +benefactor; many a sick bed, many an aching heart had his bounty +relieved; and they blessed his memory, blessed him as thousands had done +before them--thousands lying in agony in London hospitals, some never to +go out again alive, many more to be restored in health and strength to +their families; these had poured out countless prayers for the unknown +benefactor who had endowed this ward, added that comfort, or whose +munificent donations had enabled the hospital largely to extend its +benefits; and doubtless their prayers were not the less heard that no +name was uttered, and that they went up for their unknown friend. + +And so Herbert Harmer slept the sleep of the blessed in the quiet +churchyard, and the funeral cortege went back to Harmer Place. + +The doctor had been much affected by the service over his old friend. +Harry, too, was much moved, but in his case it was more the thought of +the grave he had last stood beside, and her over whom he had heard the +service read two months before. + +Mr. Petersfield, the solicitor, was calm. With him it was a pure matter +of business. He had hardly ever seen the dead man; he knew him only as +one of the wealthiest and most eccentric of his clients; he had heard +from his partner that he was a man of sterling worth; but Mr. Ransome +had always managed Mr. Harmer's business, and he himself knew nothing +about it. Mr. Ransome had died six months before, and it would have been +his duty, in a short time, to have made himself thoroughly acquainted +with Mr. Harmer's affairs; as it was, he knew very little about them. + +During the short ride to and from the church there was hardly a word +exchanged in the carriage, as Dr. Ashleigh was an entire stranger to the +solicitor. When they reached the house they were shown into the +drawing-room; into which, a few minutes later, Robert Gregory was +ushered. + +"How is your wife, Mr. Gregory?" the doctor asked, as he shook hands. + +"She is very ill, doctor, but I left her certainly calmer and more +tranquil, and I trust, from what the medical man said last night, that +she will escape any serious attack of brain fever. The news you sent her +was a very great consolation to her, but she is still in terribly low +spirits." + +Here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of the Misses +Harmer, who bowed to Dr. Ashleigh, his son, and the solicitor, all of +whom they had seen before, but who took no notice whatever of the +presence of Robert Gregory. + +The Misses Harmer were accompanied, or rather followed into the room by +a gentleman, whom it was easy to see by his dress was an ecclesiastic of +the Romish Church, and who was an entire stranger to Dr. Ashleigh. + +"This gentleman," Miss Harmer said, introducing him, "is Father Eustace, +a friend of ours for many years, and who, having heard of our loss, has +come over from abroad to assist and comfort us with his presence and +advice." + +Father Eustace was a pale, ascetic looking man, with large, eager bright +eyes; his complexion was dark and swarthy, and he looked every inch what +he was--an Italian. He spoke English with a strong foreign accent, but +still grammatically and pretty distinctly. He bowed courteously to those +present, and then took his seat, and during what followed occupied +himself in closely scrutinizing their countenances, especially those of +Dr. Ashleigh and Robert Gregory, as if desirous to judge for himself how +nearly they tallied with the description he had received of them. + +The Misses Harmer were very pale, but had a quiet, fixed look about +them, in which Dr. Ashleigh thought he read their determination to +listen with composure to the reading of the will, which would place the +hated Robert and Sophy Gregory in the position of master and mistress of +Harmer Place. + +For some little time after they had taken their seats there was a dead +silence, as if each were waiting for the other to begin. At last Mr. +Petersfield said-- + +"With your permission, Miss Harmer, I will at once proceed to read the +will of my late client, Mr. Herbert Harmer. Will you be good enough to +hand it to me?" + +"I have not any will of my brother in my possession," Miss Harmer +answered, coldly. + +"Not in your possession, madam? But you are doubtless aware where your +late brother was in the habit of keeping his important documents?" + +"I have looked, Mr. Petersfield, among his papers, but I have found no +will among them." + +There was a pause of blank astonishment. + +"How is it, Mr. Petersfield," Dr. Ashleigh said, gravely, "that you have +not Mr. Harmer's will in your custody?" + +"It was in our hands, doctor, until about two months ago, when Mr. +Harmer wrote to me, saying that he was desirous of making some slight +alterations in it, and requesting me to forward it. I did so, in charge +of one of my clerks. On the day he came down here, some friend of Mr. +Harmer's died--I understood it was Mrs. Ashleigh--and he told my clerk +that he did not feel equal to attend to business, but that if he would +leave the document with him, he would look it over, and write to me to +send down again in a short time to make the alterations he required. I +did not hear any further from him, and therefore supposed that he had +either changed his mind in reference to the alteration, or had forgotten +the matter altogether. I remember, when my clerk came back, he told me +that he had ventured to suggest that so valuable a document ought to be +kept in a safe place, and that Mr. Harmer had smiled, and answered, 'You +need not be afraid on that score. I have a place to put it in where all +the burglars in the world could not get at it." + +There was again a blank silence, and then the solicitor went on-- + +"In any case, madam, I think it but right that we should search Mr. +Harmer's library thoroughly." + +"Certainly, Mr. Petersfield; you are quite at liberty to search where +you like. Father Eustace, will you do me the kindness to accompany these +gentlemen." + +Father Eustace at once rose, and preceded the others to the library. + +"This looks a very strange business, Mr. Petersfield," Dr. Ashleigh +said, on their way thither. + +"Very--very much so indeed, doctor, and I do not think our search here +is likely to be attended with any success." + +The library was thoroughly ransacked. Every drawer was pulled out and +examined for secret hiding-places; the books were all taken down from +their shelves to look behind them; every place, possible and impossible, +was searched, but, as the lawyer had predicted, without the slightest +result. Harry and Robert Gregory performed the active portion of the +work, the doctor and Mr. Petersfield directing their operations, and +examining the piles of papers which came to light during the search. All +were very silent: they were too interested and excited to talk. From +time to time Robert Gregory muttered savage execrations between his +teeth; but, with that exception, the search was conducted in silence. + +The priest sat quietly and watched them--watched them, and not their +proceedings: in these he seemed to have no curiosity, his attention +being directed entirely to the way in which they each bore their +disappointment. + +The search lasted for an hour. By that time the place had been +completely ransacked, and every possible place examined; and the whole +floor of the room was closely covered with books, papers, scientific +apparatus, and the accumulated litter of years. When all was done, and +it was evident that no corner remained unexplored, the searchers rested +from their work, wiped the perspiration from their foreheads, and looked +at their leader for further instructions. + +Dr. Ashleigh drew the solicitor to a door which led into the garden, +opened it, and went out with him, so that they could converse without +restraint from the presence of the priest. + +"This is an extraordinary business, Mr. Petersfield," Dr. Ashleigh said; +"what do you think of it?" + +"Do you consult me professionally, Dr. Ashleigh?" the lawyer asked, in +return. + +"Certainly I do," Dr. Ashleigh said vehemently. "Mr. Harmer was one of +my oldest and my dearest friends; and even were I not so deeply +interested in the discovery of the will as I am, I would spend every +penny I have in the world in seeing his wishes carried out. You are +aware of the nature of the will?" + +"In a general way I am. My late partner, Mr. Ransome, who has managed +Mr. Harmer's business ever since he came to England, some twenty-three +years ago, told me that Mr. Harmer had left all his property, with the +exception of some comparatively small legacies, between your children +and his illegitimate grandchild, Miss Needham--now, as I understand, +Mrs. Gregory." + +"Precisely," Dr. Ashleigh said. "This is the disposition he publicly +announced that he had made of his property; and in the event of this +will not being found, I presume the Misses Harmer, as his only +relations, will inherit everything?" + +"Clearly so, doctor. It is a most awkward business. However, we cannot +now determine what steps to take: we shall have plenty of time for that +hereafter. Is there any other place you can suggest as worth +searching--his bed-room, for instance?" + +"None at all," the doctor answered. "Mr. Harmer was a man of the +simplest personal habits. His bed-room is furnished just as it was in +India--a plain French bedstead without hangings, an India matting on the +floor, a few cane chairs, and a small chest of drawers. No, it is no use +searching there." + +"Or anywhere, I believe, frankly," Mr. Petersfield said. "Wherever the +will may be, we shall never find it." + +So saying, they returned into the library. Father Eustace was sitting +unmoved in the chair where they had left him. Harry was pacing up and +down that portion of the floor which remained free from the books and +instruments, sometimes stopping and looking out of the window, and +drumming on the panes with his fingers in a state of angry impatience; +he was anxious and uneasy, but he could not believe that the will was +more than mislaid for a time. + +Robert Gregory had cast himself sullenly into an arm chair, and sat with +his elbows on the arms, and his chin resting on his hands. His face was +flushed, his eyes wide open, and his lips set hard. A deadly sensation +of despair was stealing over him, which he in vain strove against. Was +it possible that, after all these years of scheming and watchfulness, +his prize was to be snatched from him in the moment of success? He could +not and would not believe it, and yet he had a hopeless feeling in him +which told him that the will was either lost or destroyed, and that it +would never be found or heard of again. When Mr. Petersfield said, "We +can do no good here--let us return to the drawing-room," he rose, and +followed the others mechanically. + +The Misses Harmer were sitting as they had left them, stiff and +composed, the stern look upon their faces, a red spot in the centre of +their cheeks, and a strange light in their eyes. + +"You have not found my brother's will?" Miss Harmer asked, as they came +in. + +"As you are probably pretty well aware, Miss Harmer, we have not found +it. And now let me ask you distinctly, do you, or do you not, know where +your late brother's will is?" + +Miss Harmer paused for a moment, and Mr. Petersfield and the doctor saw +that she glanced towards Father Eustace, who was looking on the ground. + +"I do not know where my brother was in the habit of keeping his various +documents." + +"I said nothing about various documents, Miss Harmer," Dr. Ashleigh +said, sternly. "I asked you, do you, or do you not, know where the will +is?" + +"I do not," Miss Harmer said, steadily. "Should you find the will, you +will, I presume, let us know?" + +"Should I find it, I will do so." + +"It is not easy to find what has never been lost," Robert Gregory said, +bitterly. + +Miss Harmer faced round at once upon this new antagonist, as if glad to +turn her face from the stern, searching look of the doctor. She and her +sister had risen from their seats now, and none of the others had seated +themselves. Father Eustace had moved across and taken his place by them, +as if to support them by his presence; the others stood in a group +together, with Dr. Ashleigh slightly in advance. + +"As for you, sir," Miss Harmer broke out, addressing Robert Gregory--"as +for you, as I have already told Dr. Ashleigh, I look upon you and the +woman you call your wife, as the murderers of my brother; and now, +having struck him down, and seeing him laid in his grave, you would fain +come here to grasp at his property. Why do you come here to ask for his +will? What is so likely as that, when he heard of that ungrateful girl's +conduct, that conduct which gave him his deathblow, he tore his will +into fragments?" + +"But, Miss Harmer," Dr. Ashleigh said, in his quiet, firm voice, +motioning Robert Gregory, who had advanced to reply to the attack upon +him, to be silent. "But, Miss Harmer, we know that such was not the +case; we know that he was found in the same position in which he was +sitting when he received Sophy's letter. We know that he did not leave +the room, and that no one entered it. We know that there were no +fragments of paper scattered about, as there would in all probability +have been had he destroyed the will in the way you suggest; and lastly, +Miss Harmer," and here the doctor advanced a step nearer and spoke even +more impressingly, "lastly, we know that such an intention was farthest +from Mr. Harmer's mind; for that he began a letter, which is, or has +been in your possession, a letter to Sophy expressing his full +forgiveness. So that in your bitter anger against the poor girl, you are +acting in direct contradiction to the dying words of your brother." + +The two Misses Harmer and Father Eustace were evidently staggered by +this attack. Miss Harmer's cheek, which had flushed up when she attacked +Robert Gregory, turned deadly pale again, and she shrank back as if she +had received a blow. She was a little time before she answered, and then +the change of her voice showed how much she was unnerved: + +"How do you know what you say, Dr. Ashleigh? Have you been enquiring +about among my servants?" + +"I should think, Miss Harmer, you must by this time know me well enough +to be aware that I am not a man given to enquiring among servants. I was +simply told the matter, the truth of which you do not and cannot deny; +and for Sophy's sake I was delighted to hear it. I was glad, also, for +the sake of him who is gone to know that he died with words of +forgiveness on his lips; a forgiveness which you have taken upon +yourself to conceal and to refuse." + +Miss Harmer evidently quailed before Dr. Ashleigh's words. He saw his +advantage, and continued solemnly, pointing with his finger towards her +as he spoke-- + +"And now listen to me, Miss Harmer. I believe, I more than believe, that +will to be concealed, and that you know its place of concealment. Now I, +your dead brother's greatest friend, warn you solemnly. I speak in his +name and my own, and I warn you not to destroy that document. It is your +dead brother's will, and if you destroy it may his curse light upon +you." + +"Cease, sir," Father Eustace said, interposing himself between Dr. +Ashleigh and the sister, now pale and almost gasping for breath; "cease +these impious insults!" + +Dr. Ashleigh waved him aside, and seeing the effect he was producing, +continued in the same earnest voice, never removing his eyes from the +sisters' faces-- + +"I warn you if you destroy it, your dead brother's voice will cry from +the grave. There will be no more peace for you in this world or the +next. His curse will follow you here, and plead against you at the +judgment-seat of God." + +"Come," he said, turning to his companions; for Angela Harmer had sunk +nearly lifeless in a chair, and Cecilia would have fallen had not the +priest, who had in vain endeavoured to check the doctor's solemn +denunciation, supported her. "Come, let us leave this;" and the four men +in silence went out, entered Dr. Ashleigh's carriage, which was in +waiting, and drove off. + + +END OF VOL. I. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's A Search For A Secret (Vol 1 of 3), by G. A. 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