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+Project Gutenberg's Manners and Rules of Good Society, by Anonymous
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Manners and Rules of Good Society
+       Or Solecisms to be Avoided
+
+Author: Anonymous
+
+Release Date: September 13, 2010 [EBook #33716]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Thierry Alberto, Iris Gehring, Henry Craig and
+the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
+http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
+generously made available by The Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                      MANNERS AND RULES
+
+                             OF
+
+                        GOOD SOCIETY
+
+                 _OR SOLECISMS TO BE AVOIDED_
+
+
+                        BY A MEMBER
+                     OF THE ARISTOCRACY
+
+
+
+
+                   THIRTY-EIGHTH EDITION
+
+                 [Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+                          LONDON
+                  FREDERICK WARNE AND CO.
+                       AND NEW YORK
+
+                           1916
+                  (_All rights reserved_)
+
+
+
+
+_Printed in Great Britain_
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE
+
+
+"MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY" contains all the information
+comprised in the original work, "Manners and Tone of Good Society," but
+with considerable additions. In a volume of this nature it is necessary
+to make constant revisions, and this is periodically done to keep it up
+to date, that it may be depended upon as being not only the most
+reliable, but also the _newest book of etiquette_.
+
+A comparison of the number of chapters and their subjects with those of
+the early editions would best demonstrate how the work has grown, not
+merely in bulk, but in importance also. This extension has allowed many
+subjects to be more exhaustively treated than heretofore, and it now
+includes every rule and point that could possibly be comprehended in its
+title.
+
+The work throughout its many editions has commended itself to the
+attention of thousands of readers, and it is hoped the present edition
+will be received by society in general with the marked success of its
+predecessors.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+      CHAPTER                                                  PAGE
+
+           INTRODUCTORY REMARKS                                  ix
+
+        I. THE MEANING OF ETIQUETTE                               1
+
+       II. INTRODUCTIONS                                          6
+
+      III. LEAVING CARDS                                         19
+
+       IV. PAYING CALLS                                          32
+
+        V. PRECEDENCY                                            44
+
+       VI. THE COLLOQUIAL APPLICATION OF TITLES                  53
+
+      VII. POINTS OF ETIQUETTE AS REGARDS ROYAL PERSONAGES       61
+
+     VIII. POINTS OF ETIQUETTE WHEN TRAVELLING ABROAD, AND
+           PRESENTATIONS AT FOREIGN COURTS                       65
+
+       IX. THE RECEIVED MODE OF PRONOUNCING CERTAIN SURNAMES     68
+
+        X. PRESENTATIONS AT COURTS AND ATTENDING COURTS          73
+
+       XI. PRESENTATIONS AT LEVÉES AND ATTENDING LEVÉES          82
+
+      XII. BALLS AND STATE BALLS                                 87
+
+     XIII. DINNER GIVING AND DINING OUT                          99
+
+      XIV. DINNER-TABLE ETIQUETTE                               116
+
+       XV. EVENING PARTIES                                      122
+
+      XVI. WEDDINGS AND WEDDING LUNCHEONS                       128
+
+     XVII. WEDDING RECEPTIONS                                   143
+
+    XVIII. WEDDING EXPENSES                                     146
+
+      XIX. AFTERNOON "AT HOMES"                                 151
+
+       XX. "AT HOME" DAYS                                       159
+
+      XXI. COLONIAL ETIQUETTE                                   161
+
+     XXII. INDIAN ETIQUETTE                                     164
+
+    XXIII. GARDEN-PARTIES                                       166
+
+     XXIV. TOWN GARDEN-PARTIES                                  171
+
+      XXV. EVENING GARDEN-PARTIES                               174
+
+     XXVI. LUNCHEONS                                            176
+
+    XXVII. BREAKFASTS                                           183
+
+   XXVIII. PICNICS AND WATER-PARTIES                            186
+
+     XXIX. JUVENILE PARTIES                                     190
+
+      XXX. WRITTEN INVITATIONS                                  195
+
+     XXXI. REFUSING INVITATIONS                                 200
+
+    XXXII. WALKING, DRIVING, AND RIDING                         202
+
+   XXXIII. BOWING                                               206
+
+    XXXIV. THE COCKADE                                          209
+
+     XXXV. COUNTRY-HOUSE VISITS                                 211
+
+    XXXVI. HUNTING AND SHOOTING                                 219
+
+   XXXVII. SHAKING HANDS                                        225
+
+  XXXVIII. CHAPERONS AND DÉBUTANTES                             228
+
+    XXXIX. PRESENTATIONS AT THE VICEREGAL COURT, DUBLIN CASTLE  229
+
+       XL. HOSTESSES                                            234
+
+      XLI. THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF LADY PATRONESSES OF PUBLIC
+           BALLS                                                239
+
+     XLII. PERIODS OF MOURNING                                  242
+
+    XLIII. ENGAGED                                              250
+
+     XLIV. SILVER WEDDINGS                                      253
+
+      XLV. SUBSCRIPTION DANCES                                  256
+
+     XLVI. GIVING PRESENTS                                      259
+
+    XLVII. CHRISTENING PARTIES                                  261
+
+           INDEX                                                265
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY REMARKS
+
+
+The title of this work sufficiently indicates the nature of its
+contents. The Usages of Good Society relate not only to good manners and
+to good breeding, but also to the proper etiquette to be observed on
+every occasion.
+
+Not only are certain rules laid down, and minutely explained, but the
+most comprehensive instructions are given in each chapter respecting
+every form or phase of the subject under discussion that it may be
+clearly understood what _is_ done, or what is _not_ done, in good
+society, and also how what _is_ done in good society should be done. It
+is precisely this knowledge that gives to men and women the
+consciousness of feeling thoroughly at ease in whatever sphere they may
+happen to move, and causes them to be considered well bred by all with
+whom they may come in contact.
+
+A solecism may be perhaps in itself but a trifling matter, but in the
+eyes of society at large it assumes proportions of a magnified aspect,
+and reflects most disadvantageously upon the one by whom it is
+committed; the direct inference being, that to be guilty of a solecism
+argues the offender to be unused to society, and consequently not on an
+equal footing with it. This society resents, and is not slow in making
+its disapproval felt by its demeanour towards the offender.
+
+Tact and innate refinement, though of the greatest assistance to one
+unused to society, do not suffice of themselves; and although counting
+for much, cannot supply the want of the actual knowledge of what is
+customary in society. Where tact and innate refinement do not exist--and
+this is not seldom the case, as they are gifts bestowed upon the few
+rather than upon the many--then a thorough acquaintance with the social
+observances in force in society becomes more than ever necessary, and
+especially to those who, socially speaking, are desirous of making their
+way in the world.
+
+Those individuals who have led secluded or isolated lives, or who have
+hitherto moved in other spheres than those wherein well-bred people
+move, will gather all the information necessary from these pages to
+render them thoroughly conversant with the manners and amenities of
+society.
+
+This work will be found of equal service to both men and women, as in
+each chapter the points of social etiquette to be observed by both sexes
+have been fully considered.
+
+Those having the charge of young ladies previous to their introduction
+into society, either mothers, chaperons, or governesses, will also
+derive much useful and practical information from the perusal of this
+work, while to those thoroughly versed in the usages of society it
+cannot fail to commend itself, containing as it does many useful and
+valuable hints on social questions.
+
+
+
+
+MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+THE MEANING OF ETIQUETTE
+
+
+What is etiquette, and what does the word convey? It is a poor one in
+itself, and falls very far short of its wide application. It has an
+old-fashioned ring about it, savouring of stiffness, primness, and
+punctiliousness, which renders it distasteful to many possessing
+advanced ideas; and yet the word etiquette is not so very old either, as
+Johnson did not include it in his dictionary, and Walker apologises for
+introducing it into his, and according to the authorities he quotes, it
+is supposed to be derived from stichos, stichus, stichetus, sticketta,
+and from thence to etiquette. But whether derived from the Latin or the
+French--and many incline to the latter opinion--there is no doubt that
+could a new word be found to replace this much abused one, it would be a
+welcome addition to our vocabulary. The word has unfortunately become
+associated in our minds with forms, ceremonies, and observances, in an
+exaggerated degree; and it has been so constantly misused and
+misinterpreted and misunderstood that ridicule and contempt have been
+most unjustly and unfairly thrown upon it. The true meaning of
+etiquette can hardly be described in dictionary parlance; it embraces
+the whole gamut of good manners, good breeding, and true politeness. One
+of the reasons which have no doubt contributed to bring the word
+"etiquette" into disrepute, is the manner in which the subject has been
+handled by incompetent people, who, having but a very hazy and obscure
+knowledge, if any knowledge at all, yet profess to write guides to
+polite manners--rambling and incoherent guides, which not only provoke a
+smile from those better informed, but mislead and bewilder any one rash
+enough to consult them, without previous inquiry as to whether they are
+safe to follow. A little caution on this head would insure the most
+correct and reliable work being secured amongst so much that is
+unreliable. Some people read everything that is written on the subject
+of etiquette, not only those who are ignorant and wish to learn
+something of its laws, but those who are thoroughly well versed in them
+and who, one might suppose, had nothing to learn; still these latter
+like to see what is written, to feel the satisfaction of being supported
+in their own knowledge by a well-informed writer; or of finding
+amusement in the absurdities gravely advanced by some one writing from
+another sphere than that where _savoir vivre_ reigns. Others attach a
+very narrow meaning to the word etiquette, and neither accept it nor
+understand it in its true sense; they have an idea that its rules
+influence and govern society in general. Rules of etiquette are from
+their point of view but trammels and shackles; let them be cast off or
+burst through, say they; let every one do as he likes; let all behave as
+they like; we are in a free country, why should we not wipe our mouths
+upon the tablecloth if we please? Others again, devour books of
+etiquette on the quiet; they are very much in want of instruction as
+every one knows, but they have not the courage to confess that they are
+awake of this want, and are trying to pick up some knowledge of this
+kind to be useful to them; as their aim is to rise in the social scale,
+they would not let their friends know for worlds about this new study,
+but they know it, and find that they have improved, that they do not
+commit as many _gaucheries_ as heretofore; still, they have caught the
+letter rather than the spirit of etiquette, they have read the rules it
+prescribes, and act up to them as far as their memories serve them; but
+they have failed in one essential particular of understanding that
+courtesy, consideration towards others, and unselfishness, are the
+sources of true politeness from which etiquette springs.
+
+There is an idea amongst some few people who have mixed little in the
+world, and moved but in one fixed groove, that the more exalted the
+sphere, the more perfect the manners. It is needless to attempt to
+refute such a fallacy as this, for examples of the most perfect manner
+are to be met with not only amongst those who can boast of long lineage
+and high birth, but also amongst those who lay claim to neither.
+
+Our present code of etiquette is constructed upon the refinement,
+polish, and culture of years, of centuries. Wealth and luxury, and
+contact with all that is beautiful in art and nature, have in all ages
+exercised a powerful influence on the manners of men; we do not say on
+the times, as unfortunately these advantages did not reach down to the
+many but were confined to the strictly few; but in these modern days the
+many have come, and still come, within the charmed circle; the ring
+broadens, ever widens; it is not now as in olden days that "their lot
+forbade." On the contrary, the possession of wealth or of talent is the
+open sesame to the most refined and cultured circles. The word etiquette
+is too narrow for all it embraces; it must be viewed in a double light,
+and be taken from a moral point as well as from a conventional one. A
+kindly nature, and an unselfish spirit are never wanting in true
+politeness, but the conventionalities of society give the finish and
+completeness to the whole, the colour, as it were, to the picture. In
+some the conventional spirit is uppermost and they have at best but a
+surface polish. In others the kindly feelings of the heart are allowed
+full play, and no act of genuine politeness is omitted or left undone in
+their intercourse with their fellows, and these graces of kindly
+politeness linger in the memory, trivial though they may have been,
+years after one has lost sight of this true gentleman or thorough lady,
+and one says of him, "What a charming man he was, how courteous and
+considerate, and how kind!" and of her, "She was the sweetest and
+prettiest-mannered woman I ever met."
+
+It is only given to the very few to be thoroughly and unaffectedly
+charming without a shadow of self-consciousness or effort. To assume a
+would-be charming manner for the moment, with the desire to be unusually
+pleasing to some one in particular, does not confer the enviable
+reputation of having a charming manner. It does not sit easy enough to
+be altogether natural; it conveys the idea of being put on for the
+occasion, and, like all other imitations, it hardly ever pleases and
+seldom deceives. Etiquette and true politeness would have us go further
+than this, and our manners of to-day should be our manners of to-morrow,
+and not variable according to place and persons. The world is quick to
+note these uncertain demeanours, and every one's measure is readily
+taken and retained.
+
+The rules of etiquette are indispensable to the smooth working of
+society at large. Take, for example, the etiquette of precedency, in
+force both in public and in private: on every public occasion, and in
+every private circle, precedency steps in to render assistance, and is
+as necessary in the smallest private circle as in the largest public
+gathering, because it assigns to every one his or her place as far as
+claim can be laid to place. Mistakes in the matter of precedency are not
+only committed by those who have enjoyed few social advantages, but by
+those also who have had everything in their favour. Young ladies, for
+instance, when married from the schoolroom, as it were, often make grave
+mistakes on the question of precedency, if they do not ignore it
+altogether.
+
+The etiquette of card leaving and that of paying calls are indisputably
+necessary and only the very ignorant would attempt to gainsay their
+utility; without these aids to order and method all intercourse between
+friends and acquaintances would be uncertain and chaotic; as it is there
+is little excuse when the right thing is not done, and any departure
+from the simple rules laid down on these heads, is the best possible
+proof of the standing, position, and associations of the one at fault.
+
+Any one point of etiquette if brought to the bar of common-sense would
+be pronounced reasonable, proper, and sensible; and there is strictly
+speaking no question of etiquette that cannot be thus judged and upon
+which a like verdict would not be given. There is no one rule of
+etiquette that can be described as absurd or ridiculous, arbitrary or
+tyrannical, and taken collectively the rules are but social obligations
+due from one person to another. Why should we not be a well-mannered
+people? Why should we not be refined, cultivated, and polished in our
+demeanour and bearing? Why should we not seek to charm if we can? Why
+should we not cultivate and encourage in ourselves consideration,
+thoughtfulness, and graciousness towards others in the smallest details
+of daily life?
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+INTRODUCTIONS
+
+
+There are ceremonious introductions and unceremonious introductions,
+premeditated introductions and unpremeditated introductions; but, in all
+cases, introductions should never be indiscriminately made--that is to
+say, without a previous knowledge on the part of those making them as to
+whether the persons thus introduced will be likely to appreciate each
+other, or the reverse, or unless they have expressed a desire to become
+acquainted. For instance, a lady should not introduce two of her
+acquaintances residing in a country town or watering-place, moving in
+different circles, unless they have each expressed such a desire.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=An Undesired Introduction=, if made, compels the one to whom it is the
+most unwelcome, to treat the other with marked coldness, or to continue
+an acquaintance that is distasteful.
+
+Should the slightest doubt exist as to how an introduction will be
+received--whether the meditated introduction is a spontaneous desire on
+the part of a lady or gentleman, or whether one person expressed a wish
+to make the acquaintance of another person and expressed that wish to a
+mutual friend--the received rule is to consult the wishes of both
+persons on the subject before making the introduction.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Difference of Rank= exists between two persons, it would be
+sufficient to ascertain the wishes of the person of highest rank alone.
+
+A person about to make an introduction, should say to the one lady, but
+not in the hearing of the other, "Mrs. A----, may I introduce Mrs. B----
+to you?" or some such formula, according to the degree of intimacy
+existing between herself and Mrs. A. (See "The Art of Conversing.")
+
+When two ladies are of equal rank, the wishes of the person with whom
+the person making the introduction is least intimate should be
+consulted.
+
+In the case of one person having expressed a wish to make the
+acquaintance of another, there remains but the wishes of one person to
+ascertain.
+
+Acquiescence having been given, the introduction should be made.
+
+In making an introduction, the lady of lowest rank should be introduced
+to the lady of highest rank; in no case should the lady of highest rank
+be introduced to the lady of lowest rank. This point of etiquette should
+always be strictly observed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Gentleman should always be introduced to a Lady=, whatever his rank
+may be, without reference to her rank, whatever it may be. This rule is
+invariable, and is based upon the privilege of the sex--"_place aux
+dames_."
+
+It is not usual to ascertain a gentleman's wishes as to whether he will
+be introduced to a lady or not, although at a ball it is usual to do so
+when the introduction is made for a special object, viz., that of
+obtaining a partner for a lady; and as a gentleman may be either unable
+or unwilling to ask the lady to dance, it is incumbent to ascertain
+beforehand whether the introduction is desired or not, otherwise the
+introduction would be of no avail for the purpose, and prove a
+disappointment to the lady.
+
+"Would you like to be introduced to Miss A----?" or some such polite
+phrase (see "The Art of Conversing"), is the sort of formula by which to
+ascertain a gentleman's wishes as to an introduction in the ball-room;
+as ball-room introductions are understood to mean an intention on the
+part of a gentleman to ask a lady to dance or to take her in to supper.
+
+In general society, gentlemen are supposed to seek, rather than to avoid
+the acquaintance of ladies, irrespective of whatever sets in society to
+which they belong. It is immaterial to a gentleman in which set in
+society his acquaintances move, and he can be polite to all without
+offending any in their several circles.
+
+With regard to his own sex a gentleman is generally as exclusive as to
+the acquaintanceships which he forms, as is a lady with regard to the
+acquaintanceships which she forms. Reciprocity of taste is the basis on
+which acquaintanceships between men are established, subject, in a
+certain measure, to social position; though this rule is itself subject
+to wide exceptions.
+
+It is the rule for a gentleman to ask a mutual friend, or an
+acquaintance, for an introduction to a lady, and it is the received rule
+to do so when a gentleman desires to be introduced to any lady in
+particular; but gentlemen do not ask to be introduced to each other,
+unless some special reason exists for so doing--some reason that would
+commend itself to the person whose acquaintance was desired, as well as
+to the person making the introduction; otherwise, such a wish would
+appear to be either puerile or sycophantic, thus the request might meet
+with a refusal, and the proffered acquaintanceship be declined.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When Introductions are made between Ladies=, an unmarried lady should
+be introduced to a married lady, unless the unmarried lady is of a
+higher rank than the married lady, when the rule is reversed.
+
+The correct formula in use when making introductions is "Mrs. X----,
+Lady Z.," thus mentioning the name of the lady of lowest rank first, as
+she is the person introduced to the lady of highest rank, "Mrs. X----,
+Lady Z.," is all that need be said on the occasion by the person making
+the introduction. When the ladies are of equal rank it is immaterial
+which name is mentioned first; but there generally exists sufficient
+difference in the social position of the two ladies to give a slight
+distinction in favour of the one or of the other, which the person
+making the introduction should take into consideration.
+
+When the introduction has been made, the ladies should bow to each
+other, and either lady should make a slight remark.
+
+It is not usual for ladies on being first introduced to each other to
+shake hands, but only to bow; but there are very many exceptions to this
+rule.
+
+When one lady is of higher rank than the other, should she offer to
+shake hands, it would be a compliment and a mark of friendliness on her
+part.
+
+When a person introduces two intimate friends of his or hers to each
+other, they would be expected to shake hands, instead of bowing only.
+
+The relations of an engaged couple should, on being introduced, shake
+hands with both bride and bridegroom elect, as should the intimate
+friends of an engaged couple; as also should the relations of the two
+families on being introduced to each other.
+
+It is the privilege of the lady to be the first to offer to shake hands,
+in every case, when a gentleman is introduced to her.
+
+A lady should shake hands with every one introduced to her in her own
+house--that is to say, whether the person is brought by a mutual friend,
+or is present by invitation obtained through a mutual friend.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At Dinner-parties=, both small and large, the hostess should use her
+own discretion as to the introductions she thinks proper to make. It is
+not customary to make general introductions at a dinner-party; but in
+sending guests down to dinner, who are strangers to each other, the host
+or hostess should introduce the gentleman to the lady whom he is to take
+down to dinner. It would be quite unnecessary to ask the lady's
+permission before doing so. It would be sufficient to make the
+introduction a few moments before dinner was announced, and the usual
+formula is, "Mrs. A., Mr. B. will take you in to dinner." A bow is the
+recognition of this introduction.
+
+When the majority at a dinner-party are strangers to each other, a host
+or hostess should introduce one or two of the principal guests to each
+other, when time allows of its being done before dinner is served; such
+introductions are oftener made at country dinner-parties than at town
+dinner-parties.
+
+A hostess should, in some instances, introduce ladies to each other in
+the drawing-room after dinner if the opportunity offers, and she
+considers it advisable to do so.
+
+As a rule, a host seldom introduces gentlemen to each other in the
+dining-room after dinner, as they address each other as a matter of
+course on such occasions.
+
+A hostess should introduce her principal guests to each other, at
+five-o'clock teas, garden-parties, small "at homes," etc.--that is to
+say, gentlemen to ladies--for the purpose of their taking the ladies to
+the tea-room. In this case also, the introduction should be made without
+previously consulting the lady; and a gentleman, knowing the reason of
+the introduction, should at once proffer the expected civility.
+
+At these gatherings a hostess should use her own discretion as to any
+general introductions she thinks proper to make, and should introduce
+any gentleman to any lady without previously consulting the lady if she
+thinks the introduction will prove agreeable to her.
+
+When introducing ladies to each other, she should give married ladies,
+and ladies of rank, the option of the introduction; but should
+introduce young unmarried ladies to each other if she thinks proper.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When Callers arrive simultaneously=, the hostess should introduce them
+directly or indirectly to each other, if there is no social reason to
+the contrary.
+
+When a hostess is aware that her visitors do not desire each other's
+acquaintanceship, or, if she considers that the introduction is not
+altogether a suitable one, agreeable to both persons, she should not
+make it, but converse with each visitor in turn, at the same time not
+allowing the conversation to become too general.
+
+At large gatherings, persons desirous of avoiding each other's
+acquaintanceship, could be present at the house of a mutual acquaintance
+without coming into direct contact with one another, providing the host
+and hostess possessed sufficient tact and discretion not to attempt to
+effect a _rapprochement_ between them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At Country-house Parties=, the hostess should introduce the principal
+ladies to one another on the first day of their arrival; but if it is a
+large party, introductions should not be generally made, but should be
+made according to the judgment of the hostess. The fact of persons being
+guests in the same house constitutes in itself an introduction, and it
+rests with the guests thus brought together whether the acquaintanceship
+ripens into subsequent intimacy or not.
+
+The same remark applies in a degree to afternoon teas and "at homes."
+The guests converse with each other if inclined to do so. The act of so
+conversing would not constitute an acquaintanceship, although it might,
+under some circumstances, establish a bowing acquaintanceship,
+especially between gentlemen.
+
+Ladies should not bow to each other after only exchanging a few remarks
+at afternoon tea, or at a garden-party, unless there were some
+particular social link between them to warrant their so doing, in which
+case the lady of highest rank should take the initiative.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Introductions at Public Balls.=--It is erroneous to suppose that it is
+the duty of stewards to make introductions at public balls; it is the
+exception, and not the rule, for stewards to introduce persons to each
+other who are strangers to themselves.
+
+Society objects, and the stewards object, to making promiscuous
+introductions, on the following grounds: first, as regards the chaperon,
+whether mother or relative, who has the charge of a young lady; then as
+regards a young lady herself; and last, but not least, as regards the
+position occupied by the steward himself. A chaperon naturally looks and
+feels displeased when a steward who is a stranger to herself offers to
+introduce a man who is evidently a stranger to him, which fact she
+gathers by his saying, "This gentleman wishes to be introduced to your
+daughter," or by his asking the stranger his name before making the
+introduction. A chaperon is responsible for the acquaintances a young
+lady forms while under her charge at a ball, and if amongst her own
+friends and acquaintances she cannot find partners for her, she would
+prefer that she spent a comparatively dull evening than that she should
+run the risk of forming undesirable acquaintances.
+
+Young ladies have not always the discretion possessed by their elders,
+or sufficient knowledge of the world to do the right thing. Thus, some
+young ladies would either coldly decline the introductions, or if the
+introductions were made, would as coldly decline to dance, whilst
+others, anxious to dance, would accept both the introductions and the
+partners, and take their chance as to whether their brothers would like
+to see them dancing with strangers thus introduced. A steward himself
+particularly dislikes to be made responsible for a man he does not know;
+and whether a chaperon and a young lady are old friends of his, or
+whether they are merely new acquaintances, they equally trust to his
+not introducing men to them whom they would not care to know, and of
+whom he knows nothing save that they have solicited an introduction to
+them.
+
+Very few stewards care to accost a lady whom they merely know by sight
+and by name for the purpose of introducing a stranger; they prefer to
+decline to make the introduction, on the plea of not having the honour
+of the lady's acquaintance.
+
+Stewards consider that the position of a young man must be a peculiar
+one, and his presence at a ball somewhat of an anomaly, if he does not
+possess an acquaintance in the room, through whom he can become known to
+one or other of the stewards, or through whom he can be introduced to
+any particular lady with whom he may desire to dance.
+
+When a gentleman is introduced to a young lady at a public ball, it
+generally means that he is introduced to her as a partner, and that
+though he may not ask her for the next dance, he will for a subsequent
+one, or that he will at least offer to take her in to supper, or, if
+earlier in the evening, to give her some tea, or if she declines these
+civilities, that he will continue a conversation with her until the next
+dance commences, or until a dance is over. When a gentleman does neither
+of these things, but walks away as soon as the introduction is made, it
+is a proof how little he desired it, and that doubtless the option was
+not given him of refusing it.
+
+Good-natured friends of both sexes know how difficult it is to get
+partners for well-dressed, well-mannered, good-looking girls at a ball,
+unless they are more than ordinarily attractive in some way or other, in
+which case they are popular and sought after, and the only difficulty
+rests with the young ladies themselves as to how they shall best
+apportion the dances so as to satisfy their numerous partners, or
+persuade their chaperons to stay for one more dance which they have
+promised to, etc.
+
+It is a well-known fact in the ball-going world that the majority of
+young men insist upon being introduced to the most popular girls in a
+ball-room, and refuse being introduced to one who does not appear to
+have plenty of partners.
+
+Public balls are in reality made up of a number of small parties and
+different sets, each set or party being entirely independent of the
+other.
+
+At county balls the county people take large house-parties, and each
+house-party does or does not mingle with other house-parties, according
+to standing or inclination.
+
+If three large house-parties join forces at a ball they form a very
+imposing majority; but there are other sets in the same ball-room,
+dancing to the same band and adjourning to the same supper-room, equally
+apart and equally distinct.
+
+At balls held at watering-places, although the residents do not take
+large house-parties, yet they join forces with those residents with whom
+they are acquainted, reinforced by friends who come down purposely to be
+present at the ball. Thus, on the face of it, a steward's introductions
+cannot fail to be ill-received, in whatever set he may be coerced into
+making them; and it is well understood that introductions, to prove
+acceptable, should only be made through friends and acquaintances, and
+even then with tact and judgment.
+
+As the stewards of a ball are usually the most influential gentlemen in
+the place, it naturally follows that they are acquainted with many, if
+not with all, of the principal people present, therefore when they make
+introductions it is not by virtue of their office, but simply as a
+matter of friendship, and through being personally acquainted with those
+introduced by them.
+
+Introductions out of doors are rather a matter of inclination than not,
+as, for instance, when a lady is walking with another lady to whom she
+is on a visit she should introduce any friends to her hostess she might
+happen to meet, and her hostess should do likewise if time and
+opportunity offer for so doing; should any reason exist for not making
+an introduction on the part of either lady, it should be explained when
+they are again alone, as were either of the ladies to exclude the other
+from the conversation it would be considered discourteous towards the
+one excluded. When two ladies accidentally meet when out walking, and
+are subsequently joined by two or more ladies, introductions should not
+be made by either of the ladies, unless some special reason exists for
+so doing. A lady, as a rule, should not introduce gentlemen to each
+other unless one of them is her host, when it would be correct to do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=How to act on the Occasion of an Introduction= is determined almost
+entirely upon the reason for its being made, and by whom and to whom the
+person is introduced. Even the _locale_ has something to do with it, and
+thus a variety of issues are raised, upon which an instantaneous
+judgment has to be given. The mind has to travel with lightning rapidity
+over the ground to arrive at a correct course of action; but the mind
+does not always respond to the call made upon it: it hesitates, and acts
+not upon the outcome of reflection, but upon the spur of the moment.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Received Rule is not to shake hands=, but merely to bow on being
+introduced; but this rule under certain circumstances would not meet the
+case; it would disappoint the one introducing and the one introduced.
+For instance if a relative of the former is the person introduced a bow
+would be a very chilling response to the introduction made; to shake
+hands, on the contrary, would be the correct thing to do, and both
+persons should offer at the same moment this cordial recognition. On the
+other hand, if a casual introduction is made without any premeditation,
+and those introduced are totally unknown to each other, an exchange of
+bows is all that is required of them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Amongst the Exceptions for not merely bowing= on being introduced are
+the introductions made between young ladies and elderly ones, and
+between young ladies themselves. An elderly lady, as a general rule,
+shakes hands with a girl introduced to her with the idea of being
+cordial and kind, not to say condescending, and girls generally shake
+hands with each other in place of bowing, as acquaintanceships formed by
+them have not the importance that attaches to those of older ladies;
+besides, a greater readiness to make friends is the privilege and
+characteristic of youth.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Men take very much the Same View= as regards introductions as do
+women--that is to say, if an introduction is made by a relative of the
+man introduced, the men would shake hands and not merely bow. This holds
+equally good where intimate friends are concerned: they almost rank on
+the footing of relations, and a cordial reception is given to an
+introduction thus made. When casual introductions are made of necessity
+rather than of intention men do not shake hands. When "I think you have
+met A." or "I think you know Mr. A." is said--the one by a host and the
+other by a hostess--nothing further is required from either than a bow
+and a smile of acquiescence accepting the introduction and a disclaimer
+is not expected if "Mr. A." is not actually known. The uncertainty is an
+excuse for making the introduction.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ladies do not rise from their Seats on being introduced either at an
+"At Home"= or before dinner is announced, or after dinner, or when
+calling when people are introduced to them, or when they themselves are
+introduced. Half an exception occurs, it is true, at crowded "at homes,"
+when to rise and talk to the lady introduced is almost a necessity:
+there is no vacant seat for her to take, and, therefore, if both do not
+stand, conversation is at a deadlock, as the few first conventional
+remarks made by either are lost in the general buzz going on around;
+also, it is awkward and ungraceful for a lady to bend over one seated
+for the purpose of saying a few platitudes. "Introductory remarks," or
+remarks following upon introductions, have too often a melancholy ring
+of commonplaceness about them and are distinctly trite. How can they be
+otherwise? To venture out of the commonplace into originality would be
+suspicious of eccentricity, and no one wishes to be considered a little
+odd.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Before and after Dinner, when Introductions are made= between ladies it
+is to those seated near to each other, and, therefore, there would be no
+occasion to rise, as there might be at an "at home." There is no
+question of a lady rising from her seat when a man is introduced to her,
+unless that man is her host, when she should rise and shake hands with
+him, or a clerical dignity--a bishop for instance, if opportunity allows
+of it, and on a semi-official occasion. This question does not trouble
+men, as they are usually found standing, or they are brought up to a
+person to be introduced, and even if a man ventures upon sitting down at
+an "at home," or before dinner is announced, he springs to his feet with
+alacrity when any approach is made in the matter of introducing him to a
+fellow guest.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Introductions often have to be made at Afternoon Calls=, supposing that
+two or three callers only are present and the hostess feels that she
+must render the talk general by making some kind of introduction, direct
+or indirect, as she thinks best. The ladies thus introduced remain
+seated and bow. They do not shake hands even under the exceptional
+conditions previously referred to, but they would at once join in the
+talk that passes for conversation, and on departure would shake hands
+with the relative in question after having shaken hands with the hostess
+and having expressed pleasure at meeting this near relative--mother or
+sister, or whoever she may happen to be.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Introductions between Callers= made under enforced circumstances have
+not much bearing on future acquaintance. Those introduced pass so short
+a time in each other's company, and know practically nothing of each
+other's surroundings, that they are uncertain whether at future meetings
+they ought to recollect that such introductions have taken place, and
+whether they should bow or forget. Actually it would be correct to bow
+if the opportunity is given so to do, but unless the wish to bestow
+recognition is mutual it is of little avail if grudgingly given, and it
+would be worse still were it withheld. Some people have short memories
+for faces, and others are short-sighted, and both these drawbacks have
+to be reckoned with when expecting recognition from a person to whom one
+has been thus introduced.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+LEAVING CARDS
+
+
+The etiquette of card-leaving is a privilege which society places in the
+hands of ladies to govern and determine their acquaintanceships and
+intimacies, to regulate and decide whom they will, and whom they will
+not visit, whom they will admit into their friendship, and whom they
+will keep on the most distant footing, whose acquaintance they wish
+further to cultivate and whose to discontinue.
+
+It would seem that the act of leaving cards is but imperfectly
+understood, and that many erroneous impressions prevail respecting the
+actual use of visiting cards: The object of leaving cards is to signify
+that a call has been made, due civility shown, and a like civility
+expected in return.
+
+Leaving cards, or card-leaving, is one of the most important of social
+observances, as it is the ground-work or nucleus in general society of
+all acquaintanceships. Leaving cards, according to etiquette, is the
+first step towards forming, or towards enlarging, a circle of
+acquaintances, and the non-fulfilment of the prescribed rules is a sure
+step in the opposite direction. The following is the received code of
+card-leaving in all its details according to the etiquette observed in
+good society by both ladies and gentlemen, and should be faithfully
+followed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady's Visiting Card= should be printed in small, clear copper-plate
+script, and free from any kind of embellishment as regards ornamental
+or Old English letters. It should not be a thin card, and should be
+three inches and five eighths in width, and slightly under two and a
+half in depth.
+
+The name of the lady should be printed in the centre of the card, and
+her address in the left-hand corner. If she has a second address, it
+should be printed in the opposite corner of the card. If the second
+address is but a temporary one, it is usually written and not printed.
+
+A married lady should never use her christian name on a card; but she
+should use her husband's christian name before her surname if his father
+or elder brother is living.
+
+It is now considered old-fashioned for husbands and wives to have their
+names printed on the same card, although at watering-places, the
+practice of having the two names on the same card, "Mr. and Mrs. Dash,"
+is still occasionally followed; but even when these cards are used, a
+lady and gentleman still require separate cards of their own.
+
+A lady having a large acquaintance should keep a visiting book, in which
+to enter the names of her acquaintances, and the date when their cards
+were left upon her, with the dates of her return cards left upon them,
+that she might know whether a card were due to her from them, or whether
+it were due to them from her.
+
+A lady having a small acquaintance would find a memorandum book
+sufficient for the purpose; a line should be drawn down the centre of
+every page, dividing it into two columns, the one column for the names,
+and the opposite column for the dates of the calls made and returned.
+
+Leaving cards principally devolves upon the mistress of a house; a wife
+should leave cards for her husband, as well as for herself; and a
+daughter for her father. The master of a house has little or no
+card-leaving to do, beyond leaving cards upon his bachelor friends.
+
+In the country it is otherwise, and those who return home are called
+upon by their friends and acquaintances in the first instance, unless
+under exceptional circumstances.
+
+Ladies arriving in town should leave cards on their acquaintances and
+friends to intimate that they have returned.
+
+Visiting cards should be left in person, and should not be sent by post,
+although in town, when the distance is considerable, it is tacitly
+allowed; but, as a rule, ladies invariably leave their cards themselves.
+On arriving in town for the season ladies having a large acquaintance
+often send their visiting cards to their various friends and
+acquaintances by a man-servant or through a stationer.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Routine of Card-leaving.=--As regards the routine of card-leaving.
+When driving, a lady should desire her footman to inquire if the
+mistress of the house at which she is calling is "at home." If not "at
+home," and it is a first call, she should hand him _three_ cards--_one_
+of her own, and _two_ of her husband's. Her card is left for the
+mistress of the house, and her husband's cards for both master and
+mistress.
+
+If not a first call a lady should leave one only of her husband's cards
+if his acquaintance with her friend's husband is an intimate one and
+they are in the habit of meeting frequently. If, on the contrary, they
+know each other but slightly, and meet but seldom, then two of his cards
+should be left. This, however, not on every occasion of calling.
+
+When a lady is merely leaving cards, she should hand the three cards to
+her servant, saying, "For Mrs. ----." This ensures the cards being left
+at the right address, and is the correct formula for the occasion.
+
+When a lady is walking, and finds the mistress of the house at which she
+calls is "not at home," she should act as above.
+
+When a lady intends making a call she should ask if "Mrs. ---- is at
+home?" And if the answer is in the affirmative, she should, after making
+the call, leave _two_ of her husband's cards on the hall table, and
+neither put them in the card-basket nor leave them on the drawing-room
+table, nor offer them to her hostess, all of which would be very
+incorrect; but she might on reaching the hall hand them to the
+man-servant silently, or she might send them in by her own servant when
+seated in her carriage, saying, "For Mr. and Mrs. Smith." She should not
+leave her _own_ card on the hall table, as, having seen the lady of the
+house, the reason for doing so no longer exists.[1]
+
+When a lady calling is accompanied by her husband and the mistress of
+the house is at home, the husband should leave one of his cards only,
+for the absent master of the house; when the master of the house is at
+home also, a card in that case should not be left.
+
+When the mistress of a house has a grown-up daughter or daughters, the
+lady leaving cards should turn down one corner of her visiting card--the
+right-hand corner generally--to include the daughter or daughters in the
+call. This custom of turning down a corner of a visiting card signifies
+that other ladies of the family besides the hostess are included in the
+call. A foreigner turns down the _end_ of a card instead of one corner
+only, which has not the same signification. It is to denote that he has
+left it in person.
+
+A lady should not leave one of her husband's cards for the daughters of
+the house, but she not unfrequently leaves his card for the grown-up
+sons of the house.
+
+When a lady intends leaving cards on a friend who is the guest of some
+one with whom she is unacquainted, she should only leave cards for her
+friend and not for her friend's hostess; but if she is slightly
+acquainted with her friend's hostess, she should leave cards upon her
+on the occasion of her first visit to her friend, but it would not be
+necessary to do so at every subsequent visit, especially if they were of
+frequent occurrence.
+
+Young ladies should not have visiting cards of their own; their names
+should be printed beneath that of their mother on her card. In the case
+of there being no mother living, the daughter's name should be printed
+beneath that of her father on the usual lady's visiting card, but never
+on the smaller cards used by gentlemen. When young ladies are taken out
+into society by relatives or friends, their names should be written in
+pencil under the names of the ladies chaperoning them on their visiting
+cards.
+
+Maiden ladies of a certain age should have visiting cards of their own,
+but until a young lady has attained what is termed a certain age, it
+argues no little independence of action to have a card of her own; but
+when she no longer requires chaperonage, she is entitled to a card of
+her own, being clearly her own mistress, and able to choose her own
+acquaintances.
+
+When a young lady is on a visit unaccompanied by her parents, and wishes
+to call on ladies with whom the lady she is staying with is
+unacquainted, she should leave her mother's card on which her own name
+is also printed, and should draw a pencil through her mother's name to
+intimate that she was not with her on that occasion.
+
+Cards should always be returned within a week if possible, or ten days
+at latest, after they have been left, but to do so within a week is more
+courteous. And care must be taken to return the "call" or "cards"
+according to the etiquette observed by the person making the call or
+leaving the card; that is to say, that a "call" must _not_ be returned
+by a card only, or a "card" by a "call." This is a point ladies should
+be very punctilious about.
+
+Should a lady of higher rank return a card by a "call," asking if the
+mistress of the house were "at home," her so doing would be in strict
+etiquette; and should she return a "call" by a card only, it should be
+understood that she wished the acquaintance to be of the slightest; and
+should a lady call upon an acquaintance of higher rank than herself, who
+had only left a card upon her, her doing so would be a breach of
+etiquette.
+
+In large establishments the hall porter enters the names of all callers
+in a book expressly kept for the purpose, while some ladies merely
+desire their servant to sort the cards left for them.
+
+The name of the lady or gentleman for whom the cards are intended should
+never be written on the cards left at a house. The only case in which it
+should be done would be when cards are left on a lady or a gentleman
+staying at a crowded hotel, when, to save confusion, and to ensure their
+receiving them, their names should be written on them thus: "For Mr. and
+Mrs. Smith." But this would be quite an exceptional case, otherwise to
+do so would be extremely vulgar.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Leaving Cards after Entertainments.=--Visiting cards should be left
+after the following entertainments: balls, receptions, private
+theatricals, amateur concerts, and dinners, by those who have been
+invited, whether the invitations have been accepted or not, and should
+be left the day after the entertainment if possible, and certainly
+within the week according to the rules of card-leaving already
+described. On these occasions cards should be left without inquiry as to
+whether the hostess is at home, although after a dinner-party it is the
+rule to ask if she is at home, as to dine at a house denotes a greater
+intimacy than being present at a large gathering. If the hostess were
+not at home, cards should be left.
+
+If a lady has been but once present at any entertainment, whether the
+invitation came through a mutual friend or direct from the hostess
+herself, the hostess being but a slight acquaintance of her own, besides
+leaving cards on her the day following, she can, if she desires, leave
+cards on her the following season, or, if residing in the same town,
+within a reasonable time of the entertainment; but if these cards are
+not acknowledged by cards being left in return, she should of course
+understand that the acquaintance is to proceed no further.
+
+A lady should not leave cards on another lady to whom she has but
+recently been introduced at a dinner-party or afternoon tea; for
+instance, she must meet her several times in society, and feel sure that
+her acquaintance is desired, before venturing to leave cards. If two
+ladies are of equal rank, tact will be their best guide as to the
+advisability of leaving cards or not upon each other; the lady of
+superior rank may take the initiative if she pleases. If either of the
+ladies express a wish to further the acquaintance by asking the other to
+call upon her, the suggestion should come from the lady of highest rank;
+if of equal rank it is immaterial as to which first makes the
+suggestion. But in either case the call should be paid within the week.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Leaving Cards upon New-comers.=--In the country the residents should be
+the first to leave cards on the new-comers, after ascertaining the
+position which the new-comers occupy in society.
+
+Persons moving in the same sphere should either leave cards or call
+according as they intend to be ceremonious or friendly, and the return
+visits should be paid in like manner, a card for a card, a call for a
+call.
+
+It is the received rule that residents should call on new-comers,
+although having no previous acquaintance with them, or introductions to
+them.
+
+New-comers, even if of higher rank, should not call on residents in the
+first instance, but should wait until the residents have taken the
+initiative. If residents do not wish to continue the acquaintance after
+the first meeting, it is discontinued by not leaving cards, or by not
+calling again, and if the new-comers feel disinclined to continue the
+acquaintance they should return the calls by leaving cards only. Calling
+on new-comers in the country should not be done indiscriminately, and
+due consideration should be paid to individual status in society.
+
+The lady of highest social position in the circle to which the
+new-comers belong generally takes the responsibility of calling first on
+the new-comers. By new-comers is expressed persons who intend to reside
+in a county or town for a long, or even for a short period, and who are
+not casual visitors in the place.
+
+The custom of residents calling on new-comers is entirely confined to
+county society, and does not apply to residents in large towns and
+populous watering-places.
+
+In old cathedral cities and quiet country towns, far from the
+metropolis, on the contrary, the rule holds good of residents calling
+on new-comers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Cards "To Inquire."=--Cards to inquire after friends during their
+illness should be left in person, and should not be sent by post; but
+they may be sent by a servant. On a lady's visiting card should be
+written above the printed name: "To inquire after Mrs. Smith." When the
+person inquired after is sufficiently recovered to return thanks in
+person, the usual visiting card, with "many thanks for kind inquiries,"
+written above the printed name, is the usual mode of returning thanks,
+and is all-sufficient for the purpose.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=P.P.C. Cards.=--Formerly P.P.C. cards were left within a week of
+departure, or within ten days if the acquaintance was a large one.
+
+The letters P.P.C. for _pour prendre congé_, written at the lower corner
+of visiting cards, indicate departure from town or from a neighbourhood.
+P.P.C. cards may be left in person or sent by a servant; they can also
+be sent by post. The object of leaving P.P.C. cards is to avoid
+leave-takings and correspondence concerning departure, and to prevent
+offence being given if letters and invitations remained unanswered.
+
+In the country an absence of from three to six months renders leaving
+P.P.C. cards somewhat necessary; under that period it would be
+unnecessary to give notice of a temporary absence which does not amount
+to an actual departure. Short absences render it unnecessary to leave
+P.P.C. cards. Holiday movements at Christmas, Easter, and Whitsuntide
+are thoroughly recognized, and no leave-taking is obligatory. P.P.C.
+cards are now seldom if ever left in town.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Business Calls.=--When a lady makes a strictly business call upon
+either a lady or gentleman she should give her card to the servant to
+be taken to his master or mistress, but on no other occasion should
+she do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gentlemen's Visiting Cards.=--A gentleman's card should be thin--thick
+cards are not in good taste--and not glazed, and of the usual narrow
+width, _i.e._ one and a half inches in depth, and three inches in width;
+his name should be printed in the centre, thus: "Mr. Smith" or "Mr.
+Francis Smith," should he require the addition of his christian name to
+distinguish him from his father or elder brother. To have "Francis
+Smith" printed on the card without the prefix of "Mr." would be in
+bad taste.
+
+Initials appertaining to honorary rank should never be written or
+printed on a card, such as D.L., K.C., M.P., K.C.B., M.D., etc. Military
+or professional titles necessarily precede the surname of the person
+bearing them, and are always used, such as "Colonel Smith," "Captain
+Smith," "Rev. H. Smith," "Dr. Smith," etc.
+
+As regards titles, "The Honourable" is the only title that is not used
+on a visiting card. Thus "The Honourable Henry Smith's" card should bear
+the words "Mr. Henry Smith" only.
+
+A Baronet's card should be printed thus, "Sir George Smith," and a
+Knight's card thus, "Sir Charles Smith." A gentleman's address should be
+printed in the left hand corner of the card. If a member of a club, it
+is usual to print the name of the club at the right hand. Officers
+usually have the name of the club printed at the left hand corner in the
+place of the address, and the regiment to which they belong at the right
+hand.
+
+Cards should be printed in small copper-plate script, without
+ornamentation of any kind. Old English letters look old-fashioned on a
+card, and are but little used; and ornamental capital letters are never
+used, and are out of date. The lettering should be as plain and as free
+from any sort of embellishment as it well can be.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Routine of Card-leaving for Gentlemen.=--To bachelors card-leaving
+is an irksome routine of etiquette, and is, therefore, in a measure
+often neglected, by reason of their having little or no leisure at
+command during the afternoon hours. This is now thoroughly understood
+and accepted in general society. When, however, a bachelor has his way
+to make in society and has leisure to further the acquaintanceships he
+has already made, he should follow the rules of card-leaving.
+
+Bachelors, as a rule, are expected to leave cards on the master and
+mistress of a house with whom they are acquainted as soon as they are
+aware that the family have arrived in town; or if a bachelor himself has
+been away, he should leave cards on his acquaintances immediately after
+his return. He should leave one card for the mistress of the house and
+one for its master.
+
+A gentleman should not turn down a corner of his card, even though he
+may be acquainted with other ladies of the family besides the mistress
+of the house. A gentleman should not leave a card for the young
+daughters of the house, or for any young relative of its mistress who
+might be staying with her; but if a married couple with whom he is
+acquainted were staying with the friends on whom he is calling, he
+should leave two cards for them, one for the wife and one for the
+husband, and should tell the servant for whom they are intended.
+
+As regards leaving cards upon new acquaintances, a gentleman should not
+leave his card upon a married lady, or the mistress of a house, to whom
+he has been introduced, however gracious or agreeable she has been to
+him, unless she expressly asks him to call, or gives him to understand
+in an unmistakable manner that his doing so would be agreeable to her.
+This rule holds good, whether the introduction has taken place at a
+dinner-party, at a ball, at an "at home," at a country-house gathering,
+or elsewhere; he would not be entitled to leave his card on her on such
+slight acquaintanceship; as, if she desired his further acquaintance,
+she would make some polite allusion to his calling at her house, in
+which case he should leave his card on her as soon afterwards as
+convenient, and he should also leave a card for the master of the house,
+the lady's husband or father (as the case may be), even if he had not
+made his acquaintance when making that of the lady.
+
+A gentleman should not leave a card on a young lady to whom he has
+been introduced, but upon her mother or the relative with whom she
+is residing.
+
+When the acquaintance existing between gentlemen is but slight, they
+should occasionally leave cards upon each other, especially when they do
+not move in the same circle, and are not otherwise likely to meet; it
+generally follows that the one who most desires the acquaintanceship is
+the one to leave his card first, always supposing that the strength of
+the acquaintance would warrant his so doing. The one of highest rank
+should be the one to intimate that he desires the acquaintance of the
+other; if the rank be equal, it is a matter of inclination which calls
+first.
+
+The rules of etiquette, though stringent as regards acquaintances, have
+little or no application as regards intimate friends; friendship
+overrules etiquette.
+
+When a bachelor has a number of intimate friends, very little
+card-leaving is required from him as far as they are concerned.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Leaving Cards after Entertainments.=--In the event of a gentleman
+receiving an invitation to an entertainment from an acquaintance, or
+from a new acquaintance, or through some mutual friend, he should leave
+his cards at the house within a week or ten days after the
+entertainment, one for the mistress and one for the master of the house,
+whether he has accepted the invitation or not. Between friends this rule
+is greatly relaxed.
+
+It is usual for a gentleman to leave his cards on the host or on the
+hostess, after every entertainment to which he has been invited by them,
+whether it be a dinner-party, or ball, or "at home," etc. Whether he has
+been present or not, the fact of his having been invited by them obliges
+him to pay them this civility, although great latitude as regards time
+is now accorded in general society with regard to this particular rule.
+
+If invited by a new acquaintance, the cards should be left a few days
+after the entertainment, but if by a less recent acquaintance they
+should be left within ten days or a fortnight, but the earlier the cards
+are left the greater the politeness shown.
+
+If a bachelor acquaintance gives an entertainment, the same rule applies
+as to the necessity of cards being left on him by those gentlemen but
+slightly acquainted with him who have been invited to the entertainment.
+
+When a gentleman has been invited to an entertainment given at the house
+of a new acquaintance, whether the acquaintance be a lady or a
+gentleman, it would be etiquette for him to leave his card upon them on
+their arrival in town or elsewhere, even though they may not have
+invited him to any subsequent entertainment given by them within the
+year. If during the following year they do not again invite him, he
+might consider the acquaintance at an end and cease to call. These
+complimentary calls made, or rather cards left, should not average more
+than four during the year.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Memorial Cards= are out of date in society, and consequently should not
+be sent to either relatives or friends.
+
+A widow should not make use of her christian name on her visiting cards
+to distinguish her from other members of her late husband's family. Her
+cards should be printed as during his lifetime.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[1] It is, however, permissible on the occasion of a _first_ call to
+say, "I shall leave my card in the hall to remind you of my address";
+or some such phrase.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+PAYING CALLS
+
+
+Ladies stand upon strict and ceremonious etiquette with each other as
+regards both paying and receiving calls. Ignorance or neglect of the
+rules which regulate paying calls, brings many inconveniences in its
+train; for instance, when a lady neglects to pay a call due to an
+acquaintance, she runs the risk of herself and daughters being excluded
+from entertainments given by the said acquaintance.
+
+When a call has not been made within a reasonable time, a coldness is
+apt to arise between ladies but slightly acquainted with each other.
+Some ladies take this omission good-naturedly or indifferently, while
+with others the acquaintance merges into a mere bowing acquaintance to
+be subsequently dropped altogether.
+
+The first principle of calling is, that those who are the first to
+arrive in town should be the _first_ to call upon their acquaintances to
+intimate their return.
+
+"Morning calls," so designated on account of their being made before
+dinner, are, more strictly speaking, "afternoon calls," as they should
+only be made between the hours of three and six o'clock.
+
+Calls made in the morning--that is before one o'clock--would not come
+under the denomination of "morning calls," as they can only be made by
+intimate friends and not by acquaintances, and are not, therefore,
+amenable to the rules of etiquette which govern the afternoon calls,
+which calls are regulated in a great measure--as to the hour of
+calling--by the exact degree of intimacy existing between the person who
+calls and the person called upon. From three to four o'clock is the
+ceremonious hour for calling; from four to five o'clock is the
+semi-ceremonious hour; and from five to six o'clock is the wholly
+friendly and without ceremony hour.
+
+If a lady is driving when she calls at the house of an acquaintance, she
+should say to her servant, "Ask if Mrs. A---- is at home."
+
+When a lady is walking, she should ask the same question herself.
+
+When the answer is in the negative, she should leave one of her own
+cards and one of her husband's, and should say to the servant, "For Mr.
+and Mrs. A----."
+
+When the answer is in the affirmative, the lady should enter the house
+without further remark and follow the servant to the drawing-room.
+
+The servant should go before the visitor, to lead the way to the
+drawing-room, and, however accustomed a visitor may be to a house, it is
+still the proper etiquette for the servant to lead the way, and announce
+him or her to his mistress; and this rule should not be dispensed with,
+except in the case of very near relations or very intimate friends.
+
+At the drawing-room door the servant waits for a moment until the
+visitor has reached the landing, when the visitor should give his or her
+name to the servant, "Mr. A----" or "Mrs. A----," should the servant be
+unacquainted with it.
+
+If the visitor calling bears the title of "Honourable" it should not be
+mentioned by him or her to the servant when giving the name, neither
+should it be mentioned by the servant when announcing the visitor.
+
+All titles are given in full by the servants of those who bear them,
+thus: "The Duke and Duchess of A----," "The Marquis and Marchioness of
+B----," "The Earl and Countess of C----," "Viscount and Viscountess
+D----," "Lord and Lady E----," etc.; but a marchioness, a countess, or a
+viscountess when giving her name to be announced at a morning call would
+style herself "Lady A----" only.
+
+A gentleman or lady should never give his or her visiting card to the
+servant when the mistress of the house is at home.
+
+A servant should not knock at the drawing-room door when announcing
+visitors. The servant, on opening the drawing-room door, should stand
+inside the doorway, he should not stand behind the door, but well into
+the room; facing the mistress of the house if possible, and should say,
+"Mr. A----," or "Mrs. A----."
+
+When the mistress of the house is not in the drawing-room when a visitor
+arrives, the visitor should seat herself and rise at her entrance.
+
+Visitors should not make any inquiries of the servant as to how long his
+mistress will be, or where she is, or what she is doing, etc. Visitors
+are not expected to converse with the servants of their acquaintances,
+and should not enter into conversation with them.
+
+Formerly a gentleman when calling, took his hat and stick in his hand
+with him into the drawing-room, and held them until he had seen the
+mistress of the house and shaken hands with her. He either placed them
+on a chair or table near at hand or held them in his hand, according as
+to whether he felt at ease or the reverse, until he took his leave. Many
+middle-aged and elderly men still follow this fashion in a degree, and
+take their hats and sticks into the drawing-room when making formal
+calls.
+
+The newer fashion amongst younger men is to leave their hats and sticks
+in the hall and not to take them into the drawing-room with them when
+calling. To do this is now very general, as hats are in the way if tea
+is going on; besides, men were apt to forget where they placed their
+hats, and frequently had to return to the drawing-room in search of
+them.
+
+At "at homes," small afternoon teas, luncheons, dinners, etc., the rule
+is the same, and hats are left in the hall by invited guests.
+
+A gentleman should not take his stick or umbrella with him into the
+drawing-room, but leave it in the hall.
+
+When gentlemen wear gloves, they can take them off or keep them on as
+they please, it is immaterial which they do, but when a call is made
+when tea is going on, it is more usual to take them off.
+
+When the mistress of the house is in the drawing-room when a visitor is
+announced--and she should so arrange her occupations as always to be
+found there on the afternoons when she intends being "at home" should
+visitors call--she should rise, come forward, and shake hands with her
+visitor. She should not ask her visitor to be seated, or to "take a
+seat," but she might say, "Where will you sit?" or, "Will you sit here?"
+or something to this effect; and should at once sit down and expect her
+visitor to do the same, as near to herself as possible.
+
+Both hostess and visitor should guard against displaying a fussy
+demeanour during a morning call, as a morning call is oftener than not a
+_tête-à-tête_, and a _tête-à-tête_ between two persons but slightly
+acquainted with each other requires a considerable amount of tact and
+_savoir vivre_ to be sustained with ease and self-possession. A fussy
+woman is without repose, without dignity, and without _savoir vivre_.
+
+A hostess betrays that she is not much accustomed to society when she
+attempts to amuse her visitor by the production of albums, photographs,
+books, illustrated newspapers, portfolios of drawings, the artistic
+efforts of the members of the family, and the like; conversation being
+all that is necessary, without having recourse to pictorial displays.
+
+If not intimate enough to refer to family matters, the conversation
+should turn on light topics of the hour.[2]
+
+People unused to society are apt to fall back upon the above
+adventitious aids. A hostess should rely solely upon her own powers of
+conversation to make the short quarter of an hour--which is the limit of
+a ceremonious call--pass pleasantly to her visitor. The hostess should
+not offer her visitor any refreshments, wine and cake, for instance. No
+refreshments whatever, save tea, should be offered to morning visitors;
+they are not supposed to require them.
+
+In the country it is customary to offer sherry to gentlemen callers, and
+to order tea for the ladies, even though the call is made rather early
+in the afternoon, and a little before the hour for having tea.
+
+Ceremonious visits are usually paid before the hour of half-past four;
+but if tea is brought in while the visitor is in the drawing-room, or if
+the visitor calls while the hostess is having tea, she should naturally
+offer her visitor tea.
+
+When the mistress of the house only expects a few callers, "tea" is
+placed on a small table--a silver tray being generally used for the
+purpose. The hostess should pour out the tea herself; when a gentleman
+is present, he should hand the cups to the visitors or visitor,
+otherwise the hostess should herself do so, and then hand the sugar and
+cream, without asking whether her visitors will have either, unless she
+is preparing the cups of tea herself, in which case she should ask the
+question.
+
+When a second visitor arrives, ten or fifteen minutes after the first
+visitor, the first visitor should take her leave as soon as she
+conveniently can. When the second visitor is a lady, the hostess should
+rise and shake hands with her, and then seat herself; the first visitor,
+if a lady, should not rise; if a gentleman, he should do so.
+
+A hostess should also rise and come forward when a gentleman is
+announced; this gives her an opportunity of talking to him for a few
+moments on his first entering the room. The second visitor should at
+once seat him or herself near to the hostess.
+
+She should introduce the callers to each other unless she has some
+especial reason for not doing so. She could, however, in the course of
+conversation merely mention the name of each caller, so that each may
+become aware of the name of the other. This is now often done when
+formal introductions are not made. If the hostess possesses tact, and a
+facility and readiness of speech, she should skilfully draw both callers
+into the conversation (a subject which is fully enlarged upon in "The
+Art of Conversing"). The hostess should not take this latter course
+unless aware that the two visitors would be likely to appreciate
+each other.
+
+When one visitor arrives immediately after the other, the hostess should
+converse equally with both visitors, and the lady who was the first to
+arrive should be the first to leave, after a call of from ten to fifteen
+minutes. When only one visitor is present the hostess should accompany
+her to the door of the drawing-room, and linger for a few moments,
+whilst the visitor is descending the stairs. To do so would not be
+imperative, but it would be courteous. When the host is present he
+should accompany the lady downstairs into the hall; this also is an
+optional civility, and greatly depends upon the estimation in which the
+lady is held by host and hostess.
+
+When two visitors are present the hostess should rise and shake hands
+with the departing visitor; but unless a person of greater consideration
+than the visitor who still remained seated, she should not accompany her
+to the drawing-room door.
+
+One visitor should not rise from her seat when another is about to take
+her leave. When visitors are acquainted with each other they should rise
+and shake hands. When one of the visitors is a gentleman he should rise,
+even if unacquainted with the lady who is about to take her leave; he
+should not remain seated when the hostess is standing.
+
+When two visitors, either two ladies or two gentlemen, have slightly
+conversed with each other during a morning call, they should not shake
+hands with each other on leaving, but should merely bow. When they have
+not spoken to each other, they should not bow.
+
+When they have been formally introduced they should still only bow,
+unless the acquaintance has progressed into sudden intimacy through
+previous knowledge of each other.
+
+When one of the visitors present is a gentleman he should open the
+drawing-room door for the departing visitor, but he should not accompany
+her downstairs unless requested by the hostess to do so; the visitor
+should bow to him and thank him, but not shake hands with him.
+
+When the hostess has shaken hands with a guest, and before crossing the
+room with her, she should ring the drawing-room bell, that the servant
+may be in readiness in the hall to open the door. She should ring the
+bell even if the host were accompanying the lady downstairs. It would be
+thoughtless on the part of the hostess to forget to ring the bell to
+give notice to the servant that a visitor was leaving.
+
+In the country, the caller before rising to depart sometimes asks if she
+may ring for her motor-car to come round. When the hostess is in reach
+of the bell, she should ring it for her; when a gentleman is present, he
+should do so. On the servant's entrance, the caller should say, "My
+motor-car, please!"
+
+When a lady is calling on a friend, the guest of some one with whom she
+herself is unacquainted, or even but slightly acquainted, she should in
+both cases ask if her friend is at home, and not if the mistress of the
+house is at home; and having paid her visit, on leaving the house she
+should leave cards for its mistress if she is slightly acquainted with
+her, but should not do so if she is unacquainted with her.
+
+When a lady has a guest staying on a visit to her, if convenient, she
+should, when her guest expected visitors, absent herself from the
+drawing-room at that particular time, unless the expected visitors are
+mutual friends of herself and guest.
+
+If she is in the drawing-room with her guests when a visitor is
+announced so as to render an introduction inevitable, a formal
+introduction should be made, but the mistress of the house, after a very
+few minutes, should make some excuse, quietly leave the room, and not
+return until after the departure of the visitor. It would be
+inconsiderate were the mistress of the house to remain in the
+drawing-room while calls were paid to her guest by strangers to herself
+unless at her guest's particular request. When a visitor is a gentleman,
+and the guest a young unmarried lady, the mistress of the house should
+remain in the drawing-room to chaperon her.
+
+When the mistress of the house is desirous of making the acquaintance of
+any particular friend of her guest, from whom she expected a visit, when
+the visit occurs and previous to the visitor taking her leave, the guest
+should ask if she will allow her to introduce her to the lady with whom
+she is staying. If her visitor desires the introduction, she should then
+ring and request the servant to tell his mistress that Mrs. A. is in the
+drawing-room, which message the hostess would understand to mean that
+her presence is desired, and the introduction would then be made on her
+appearing. An introduction, if made in this manner, could become the
+basis of a future acquaintance, both ladies having had the option of
+refusing the acquaintance of the other if so disposed; whereas a forced
+introduction where no option is given would hardly count as the basis of
+a future acquaintance unless the ladies thus introduced mutually
+appreciated each other.
+
+In the country a guest seldom has friends and acquaintances in the
+neighbourhood, who are unknown to her hostess; if otherwise, the
+hostess should give her guest the opportunity of seeing her visitor by
+leaving them together when the call is made.
+
+When a guest is present when the mistress of a house is receiving
+callers, she should introduce them to her guest or her guest to them,
+according to the rank of either (see Chapter II.).
+
+When a lady is driving with a friend who is a stranger to the
+acquaintance on whom she is calling, she should not take her into the
+house with her while she makes her call, unless she is a young lady, or
+unless there is some especial reason for introducing the two ladies to
+each other, or unless both ladies have expressed a wish to become
+acquainted with each other. Husbands and wives occasionally pay calls
+together, but oftener they do not. A lady, as a rule, pays a call by
+herself, unless she has a grown-up daughter, when she should accompany
+her mother.
+
+Occasionally two ladies, both intimate with the lady of the house, pay
+their calls together. A family party, of father and mother and daughter,
+or daughters, rarely call in town together, save under very exceptional
+circumstances; but in the country a family party of three or four
+would, as a matter of course, call together; it is country etiquette
+to do so.
+
+A considerable difference exists with regard to "Sunday calls," or
+calling on Sundays. Ladies should not pay ceremonious calls on Sundays;
+it would not be etiquette for an acquaintance to call on a Sunday, it
+would rather be considered a liberty, unless she were expressly asked to
+do so. Intimate friends, on the contrary, often make Sunday a special
+day for calling, and therefore, ladies and gentlemen--more especially
+gentlemen--extend their calling hours from three until six o'clock
+on Sundays.
+
+When a lady is acquainted with the daughters of a family only, and not
+with their father or mother, she should call on the daughters, who
+should at once introduce her to their mother on the next occasion of
+calling. If the mother is not present, the lady calling should leave
+cards for her; and at all morning calls, when the daughters of the house
+receive a ceremonious visit from an acquaintance, in the absence of
+their mother, whether from indisposition or any other cause, cards
+should be left for her in the hall before leaving by the lady calling
+(see Chapter III.).
+
+In all cases, when "morning calls" are made, and the lady called on is
+not at home, cards should be left according to the etiquette described
+in Chapter II., an etiquette which should be strictly observed; when the
+lady called on is "at home," cards should be left for the gentlemen of
+the family, according to the same rules of card-leaving, which cannot be
+too punctiliously followed.
+
+A mistress of a house should inform her servant after or before
+luncheon, or before the hours for calling, whether she intends to be "at
+home" to visitors or not during the afternoon.
+
+"Not at home" is the understood formula expressive of not wishing to
+see visitors.
+
+"Not at home" is not intended to imply an untruth, but rather to signify
+that for some reason, or reasons, it is not desirable to see visitors;
+and as it would be impossible to explain to acquaintances the why and
+the wherefore of its being inconvenient to receive visitors, the formula
+of "Not at home" is all-sufficient explanation, provided always that a
+servant is able to give a direct answer at once of "Not at home" when
+the query is put to him. If a servant is not sure as to whether his
+mistress wishes to see visitors or not, it is almost a direct offence to
+the lady calling if he hesitates as to his answer, and leaves her either
+sitting in her carriage or standing in the hall, while "He will see if
+his mistress is 'at home,'" perhaps returning with the unsatisfactory
+answer that she is "Not at home"; in which case the intimation is almost
+received as a personal exclusion rather than as a general exclusion
+of visitors.
+
+If a lady is dressing to go out when a visitor calls, the servant can
+mention that fact to a visitor calling, and offer to ascertain if his
+mistress will see the caller; and the caller should use her own
+discretion as to whether she will allow him to do so or not; but unless
+the visit is one of importance, it would be best in such a case only to
+leave cards.
+
+When a second visitor calls, a servant should not be permitted to say
+that his mistress is "engaged with a lady," or "with a gentleman," but
+should usher the second caller into the drawing-room, as he has
+previously done the first caller. He should not inquire as to whether
+his mistress will see the second caller or not. Neither should he inform
+the second caller as to whether any one is or is not with his mistress,
+as ignorant servants are too apt to do.
+
+It is not usual to offer coffee at afternoon tea; tea only is given. To
+offer coffee is a foreign fashion, and not an English one.
+
+"Morning" callers should not be conducted to the dining-room to have
+tea; and tea is only served in the dining-room on the occasion of a
+large afternoon tea, or afternoon "at home," etc. (See chapter on
+"Afternoon 'At Homes'" p. 151.)
+
+The tea hour varies from 4 to 4.30 o'clock. When callers are present at
+4 o'clock, tea should be brought in at that hour. It should be placed
+upon a small table, which is first covered with a white linen or damask
+tea-cloth. The tea-tray should be large enough to hold, in addition to
+the china, silver teapot, etc., an urn for hot water, which should be
+brought in and placed upon it. A stand containing hot cakes, an uncut
+cake, small cakes, tiny sandwiches, and thin bread-and-butter should be
+placed near to the tea-table. Tiny tea-plates should be placed in a pile
+upon the tea-tray, they being in general use. The hostess or her
+daughter should pour out the tea.
+
+Apart from the foregoing style of afternoon tea is the newer fashion of
+what might be termed "a round-table tea," at which hostess and guests
+sit, but this style is more usual at country houses than in town houses
+at present, on account of the space required, if for no other reason.
+The tea is served in a smaller drawing-room, upon a large round or oval
+table, which is covered with a white table-cloth, upon which the
+tea-tray with all its contents is placed. Cakes, hot and cold,
+sandwiches, pastry, fruit, jam, bread-and-butter, biscuits, dry toast,
+etc., are given, and the visitors seated at the table help themselves to
+what they require. The hostess pours out the tea and hands the cups as
+when guests are not seated in this way. Dessert plates and dessert
+knives and forks should be placed on the table beside the small
+tea-plates, to be taken as required.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[2] See work entitled "The Art of Conversing."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+PRECEDENCY
+
+
+The order of precedency due to each individual according to rank is a
+matter of great importance at official banquets and at ceremonious
+dinner-parties, when its correct observance should be strictly
+adhered to.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards Precedency amongst Royal Personages=, the Sovereign takes
+precedence of all others in the realm; the King takes precedence of
+Queen Mary. The Prince of Wales takes precedence of the Duke of
+Connaught. Queen Alexandra takes precedence of the Royal Princesses. The
+Royal Princesses take precedence of their husbands, Prince Christian and
+the Duke of Argyll.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Precedency accorded to Foreign Royal Personages= in this country
+very much depends upon their individual rank. Imperial Highnesses and
+Royal Highnesses take precedence of Serene Highnesses.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Precedency accorded to Eastern Princes= is generally synonymous
+with that accorded to Serene Highnesses; but in some instances the
+claims of individual precedency are so difficult to define, that in
+official cases it is sometimes necessary to make a special rule as to
+the amount of precedency to be allowed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards General Precedency=, archbishops, ambassadors, The Lord High
+Chancellor, The Prime Minister, Lord Chancellor of Ireland, Lord
+President of the Council, and Lord Privy Seal, take precedence of
+dukes; dukes take precedence of earls, and so on throughout the various
+degrees of nobility.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Foreign Ministers and Envoys= take precedence next after dukes, in the
+order of their seniority of service in England. In all cases where
+precedency is to be established between persons of equal rank it is
+necessary to refer to a Peerage for date of creation of title, as this
+actually decides all precedency.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For Precedency due to Baronets= and their wives a Baronetage should
+be consulted.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For Precedency due to Knights= and their wives a Knightage should be
+consulted in reference to each order of knighthood.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Precedency due to the Legal Profession= a Law List should be
+consulted when it is not defined by office or birth.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Precedency due to the Clergy= a Clergy List should be consulted
+when superior preferment or birth does not define it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Precedency due to Officers= in the army and navy an Army List
+and a Navy List should be consulted to determine the precedency due to
+each in the separate Services.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Officers should be sent in to Dinner= according to the dates of
+commission, but no branch of the Army takes precedence over the other as
+regards rank of officers; that is to say, a colonel of 1901, of say, a
+West India regiment, would precede a colonel of Guards, artillery or
+cavalry of 1902 promotion. Drawn up on a brigade parade, the cavalry
+take the right of the line; thus: Artillery, Royal Engineers, footguards
+and regular regiments, regiments and West India regiments, in the order
+named in the Army List.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards Precedency between Officers= of the combined Services a
+table of "Relative Rank and Precedency in the Army and Navy" should be
+consulted, as a captain in the navy after three years' service ranks
+with a colonel in the army, a lieutenant of the navy of eight years'
+standing ranks with a major in the army, and a lieutenant under that
+standing in the navy, ranks with a captain in the army, etc.
+
+Consulate officers also take precedence according to seniority of
+service in England and date of official arrival. The Foreign Office List
+of the current year should be consulted for date in each instance.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards the Precedence due to Widows= bearing titles who have
+married again: The widow of a peer married to a commoner retains her
+title by courtesy, and the precedency due to the title is accorded
+to her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the Widow of a Duke= marries a person of lower rank than that of
+her late husband, she still retains her precedency.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Daughter of a Peer= if married to a baronet or a commoner retains
+her precedency, but if married to a baron her precedency is merged in
+that of her husband.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Widow of a Baronet= married to a commoner retains her title by
+right and not by courtesy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Widow of a Knight= married to a commoner retains her title by
+courtesy only, but the precedency due to the widow of a knight is
+accorded to her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the Daughter of a Duke= marries a peer she takes the precedency
+due to the rank of her husband; if she marries a commoner, precedency is
+accorded to her due to the daughter of a duke.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Age confers no Precedency= on either sex. Equals in rank from the
+highest to the lowest take precedence according to the creation of their
+title and not as regards the age of the person bearing the title. As,
+for instance, a youthful duke would take precedence of an aged duke, if
+the title of the youthful duke bore an earlier date than that of the
+aged duke. The same rule applies equally to baronets and knights.
+
+When two earls are present at a dinner-party, the date of their
+respective patents of nobility decides the order of precedency due
+to them.
+
+A host or hostess should always consult a "Peerage" or a "Baronetage" if
+in doubt as to the precedence due to expected guests bearing titles;
+wealth or social position are not taken into account in this matter, it
+being strictly a question of date.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Precedence due to Ladies of Equal Rank= takes effect in the same
+manner. Thus, a young wife of a baronet takes precedence over the
+elderly wife of a baronet if the creation of her husband's title bears
+an earlier date.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the Claims to Precedency of Persons of Equal Rank= clash, the
+claims of a gentleman should be waived in favour of those of a lady,
+should the persons be of opposite sexes. Thus, if two couples of
+superior rank to the other guests were present at a dinner-party, the
+host should take down the lady of highest rank, and the hostess should
+be taken down by the gentleman of highest rank, in which case the lady
+second in rank should go in to dinner _before_ her husband, although
+the gentleman taking her down to dinner were of lower rank than her
+husband.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Esquires, and the Wives of Esquires=, take precedence according to
+their social position. Members of Parliament have no precedence, though
+it is often accorded to them as a matter of courtesy, especially in the
+county which they represent; the wives of members of Parliament are
+likewise entitled to no precedence on the ground of their husbands being
+members of Parliament.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The High Sheriff of a County= takes precedence over all other gentlemen
+in the county, of whatever rank, save the lord-lieutenant, according to
+the Royal warrant issued by His late Majesty King Edward, giving
+precedence to lord-lieutenants of counties before high sheriffs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The High Sheriff= out of his particular county has no precedence,
+neither has a lord-lieutenant; and the wives of either lords-lieutenants
+or high sheriffs take no precedence on account of their husbands'
+official dignity.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=An Assize Judge= takes precedence over the high sheriff as the assize
+judge represents the Sovereign of the Realm.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Clergymen, Barristers-at-Law=, officers in the army and navy take
+precedence over esquires on account of such rank; and in each profession
+precedence should be accorded them according to dignity, date of
+ordination, date of call, and date of commission in their several
+professions, assuming that the rank is equal.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=High Clerical and Legal Dignitaries= take special precedence; for
+instance, the Archbishop of Canterbury takes precedence of all dukes,
+and the Lord Chancellor takes precedence of the Archbishop of York, who
+also takes precedence of dukes; bishops take precedence of all barons,
+whatever their date of creation. The Lord Chief Justice, the Master of
+the Rolls, when not peers, and all judges of the High Court of Justice
+in their various divisions, take precedence after Privy Councillors and
+before baronets and all knights, save the Knights of the Garter.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Relative Rank between Officers of the Army and Navy= and doctors of
+divinity is somewhat difficult to determine as regards the precedence to
+be given them at a dinner-party. "Dod" places "esquires by office,
+which, of course, includes all officers of the army and navy," next
+_before_ the younger sons of knights and before doctors in divinity, who
+follow next in order; while "Lodge" places "officers of the navy and
+army" _after_ the younger sons of knights bachelor, clergymen, and
+barristers-at-law.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Precedency at Dinner-Parties.=--When royalty is present at a
+dinner-party, a prince of blood royal takes precedence of a princess,
+and leads the way with the hostess, the host following next with the
+princess. On the other hand, a princess of the blood royal takes
+precedence of a foreign prince--her husband--and leads the way with
+the host.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Host should take down the Lady of Highest Rank=, and lead the way
+with her to the dining-room. The guests should follow the host in
+couples according to the degree of precedence due to them, and the
+hostess should follow the last couple with the gentleman of highest
+rank present.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Greater Number of Gentlemen= than ladies are present at a
+dinner-party, as is often the case, these gentlemen should follow the
+hostess to the dining-room and not precede her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Widow or Maiden Lady is Hostess,= and there is no gentleman of
+the family present to act as host, the gentleman second in rank should
+take down the lady of highest rank, leading the way with her to the
+dining-room, the hostess following last, with the gentleman of highest
+rank.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In the Case of either a Husband's Sister= or a wife's sister being
+required to act as hostess, precedence should be given to the
+wife's sister.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=An Eldest Son's Wife= should take precedence of her husband's sisters
+in his father's house.
+
+As regards the precedence due to the relatives of a host or hostess, it
+should give way in favour of that due to the guests not related to the
+host or hostess, although their relatives might be, perhaps, of higher
+rank than the guests themselves.
+
+Occasionally, the eldest son of the house acts as second host, taking
+down a lady second or third in rank; but the daughters of the house
+should always be taken down to dinner after the other ladies present,
+and in no case before them.
+
+No precedence is accorded to either a lady or a gentleman by virtue of a
+mother's rank.
+
+No precedence is accorded to brides in society, though occasionally in
+the country old-fashioned people consider it due to a bride to send her
+in to dinner with the host on the occasion of her first dining at a
+house within three months of her marriage.
+
+
+Table of General Precedency
+
+GENTLEMEN
+
+  The King.
+  The Prince of Wales.
+  The Sovereign's younger sons.
+  The Sovereign's grandsons.
+  The Sovereign's brothers.
+  The Sovereign's uncles.
+  The Sovereign's nephews.
+  Ambassadors.
+  Archbishop of Canterbury.
+  Lord High Chancellor.
+  Archbishop of York.
+  The Prime Minister.
+  Lord Chancellor of Ireland.
+  Lord President of the Council.
+  Lord Privy Seal.
+  Dukes who may happen to hold either of these five offices--
+    1. Lord Great Chamberlain.
+    2. Earl Marshal.
+    3. Lord Steward.
+    4. Lord Chamberlain.
+    5. Master of the Horse.
+  Dukes in order of their patents of creation--
+    1. Dukes of England.
+    2.   "   " Scotland.
+    3. Dukes of Great Britain.
+    4.   "   " Ireland created before the Union.
+    5. Dukes created since the Union.
+  Eldest sons of Dukes of Blood Royal.
+  Marquesses who may hold either of the Offices of State named above.
+  Marquesses in same order as Dukes.
+  Dukes' eldest sons.
+  Earls holding either of the five Offices of State.
+  Earls in same order as Dukes.
+  Younger sons of Dukes of Blood Royal.
+  Marquesses' eldest sons.
+  Dukes' younger sons.
+  Viscounts who may hold either of the five Offices of State.
+  Viscounts in same order as Dukes.
+  Earls' eldest sons.
+  Marquesses' younger sons.
+  Bishop of London.
+      "     Durham.
+      "     Winchester.
+  Other English Bishops in order of their consecration.
+  Moderator of the Church of Scotland.
+  Barons holding either of the five Offices of State.
+  Barons who may be Secretaries of State or Irish Secretary.
+  Barons in same order as Dukes.
+  The Speaker of the House of Commons.
+  Treasurer of the Household.
+  Comptroller of the Household.
+  Vice-Chamberlain of the Household.
+  Secretaries of State below the rank of Barons.
+  Viscounts' eldest sons.
+  Earls' younger sons.
+  Barons' eldest sons.
+  Commoners who are Knights of the Garter.
+  Privy Councillors of rank lower than the foregoing, according to date
+    they were sworn in.
+  Chancellor of the Exchequer.
+      "       "   " Duchy of Lancaster.
+  Lord Chief Justice of England.
+  Master of the Rolls.
+  Lords Justices of Appeal and President of Probate Court.
+  Judges of the High Court of Justice.
+  Viscounts' younger sons.
+  Barons'      "       "
+  Sons of Life Peers.
+  Baronets according to dates of patents.
+  Knights Grand Cross of Bath.
+  Knights Grand Commanders, Star of India.
+  Knights Grand Cross of St. Michael and St. George.
+  Knights Grand Commanders of Indian Empire.
+  Knights Grand Cross of Royal Victorian Order.
+  Knights Commanders of above Orders in same sequence.
+  Knights Bachelors of above Orders in same sequence.
+  Commanders of the Royal Victorian Order.
+  Judges of County Courts in England and Ireland, and Judges of the
+    City of London Court.
+  Masters in Lunacy.
+  Companions of Orders of Bath, Star of India, SS. Michael and George,
+    and Indian Empire in same sequence.
+  Members of 4th class of Royal Victorian Order.
+  Companions of Distinguished Service Order.
+  Eldest sons of younger sons of Peers.
+  Baronets' eldest sons.
+  Knights' eldest sons, in order of their fathers.
+  Members of 5th class of Royal Victorian Order.
+  Younger sons of Peers' younger sons.
+  Baronets' younger sons.
+  Knights' younger sons, in order of their fathers.
+  Naval, Military, and other Esquires by Office.
+  Gentlemen entitled to bear Coat Armour.
+
+
+LADIES
+
+  The Queen.
+  The Queen Mother.
+  The Sovereign's daughters.
+  Wives of Sovereign's younger sons.
+  Sovereign's granddaughters.
+  Wives of Sovereign's grandsons.
+  Sovereign's sisters.
+  Wives of Sovereign's brothers.
+  Sovereign's aunts.
+  Wives of Sovereign's uncles.
+  Sovereign's nieces.
+  Wives of Sovereign's nephews.
+  Duchesses (in same order as Dukes).
+  Wives of eldest sons of Dukes of Blood Royal.
+  Marchionesses.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Dukes.
+  Daughters of Dukes.
+  Countesses.
+  Wives of younger sons of Royal Dukes.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Marquesses.
+  Daughters of Marquesses.
+  Wives of younger sons of Dukes.
+  Viscountesses.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Earls.
+  Daughters of Earls.
+  Wives of younger sons of Marquesses.
+  Baronesses.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Viscounts.
+  Daughters of Viscounts.
+  Wives of younger sons of Earls.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Barons.
+  Daughters of Barons.
+  Maids of Honour.
+  Wives of younger sons of Viscounts.
+  Wives of younger sons of Barons.
+  Daughters and sons' wives of Life Peers.
+  Wives of Baronets.
+  Daughters of Baronets.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Knights.
+  Daughters of Knights.
+  Wives of younger sons of Peers' younger sons.
+  Wives of younger sons of Baronets.
+  Wives of younger sons of Knights.
+  Wives of Esquires.
+  Wives of Gentlemen.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+THE COLLOQUIAL APPLICATION OF TITLES
+
+
+The colloquial application of titles differs materially from the
+application of titles when not used colloquially, and many persons are
+in doubt as to whether they should or should not make use colloquially
+of titles in full.
+
+His Majesty the King should be addressed as "Sir" by all those who come
+in social contact with him; and by all others as "Your Majesty."
+
+Her Majesty Queen Mary should be addressed as "Ma'm" by all those who
+come in social contact with her; and by all others as "Your Majesty."
+
+Her Majesty Queen Alexandra should be addressed as "Ma'm" by all those
+who come in social contact with her; and by all others as "Your
+Majesty."
+
+The Prince of Wales, the Duke of Connaught, and all princes of the blood
+royal, should be addressed by the upper classes as "Sir."
+
+The princesses of the blood royal, should be addressed as "Ma'm" by the
+upper classes. The wives of the princes of the blood royal should also
+be addressed as "Ma'm" by the upper classes.
+
+All crowned heads visiting England should be addressed as "Sir" by those
+socially known to them, and as "Your Majesty" by all others. The Royal
+ladies, their wives, should be addressed as "Ma'm" by those personally
+known to them, and as "Your Majesty" by all others.
+
+A foreign prince bearing the title of Serene Highness should be
+addressed as "Prince," and not as "Sir," by the aristocracy and gentry,
+and as "Your Serene Highness" by all other classes.
+
+A foreign princess, also bearing the title of serene highness, should be
+styled "Princess" when addressed colloquially by the upper classes, but
+not as "Ma'am"; and as "Your Serene Highness" by all other classes.
+
+An English duke should be addressed as "Duke" by the aristocracy and
+gentry, and not as "Your Grace" by members of either of these classes.
+All other classes should address him colloquially as "Your Grace."
+
+An English duchess should be addressed as "Duchess" by all persons
+conversing with her belonging to the upper classes, and as "Your Grace"
+by all other classes.
+
+A marquess, colloquially, should be addressed as "Lord A."
+
+A marchioness should be addressed as "Lady A." by the upper classes. It
+would be a mistake to address an English marquess as "Marquess," or a
+marchioness as "Marchioness," colloquially speaking. All other classes
+should address them either as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship," "My Lady" or
+"Your Ladyship."
+
+An earl should be addressed as "Lord B." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+A countess should be addressed as "Lady B." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+A viscount should be addressed as "Lord C." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+A viscountess should be addressed as "Lady C." by the upper classes, and
+as "My Lady" or "Your ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+A baron should be addressed as "Lord D." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+A baroness should be addressed as "Lady D." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+In strictly official or business intercourse a marquess, an earl, a
+viscount, a baron, and a younger son of a duke or marquis, should be
+addressed as "My Lord."
+
+The eldest son of a duke should be addressed as "Lord A." by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+The wife of the eldest son of a duke should be addressed as "Lady A."
+by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all
+other classes.
+
+The younger sons of a duke should be addressed as "Lord John E." or
+"Lord Charles E." by the upper classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your
+Lordship" by all other classes. Persons well acquainted with them would
+address them colloquially by their title and christian name, as "Lord
+John" or "Lord Charles." The same remark applies to their wives, who are
+often colloquially addressed as "Lady Alfred" or "Lady Edward."
+
+The wives of the younger sons of a duke should be addressed as "Lady
+John E." or "Lady Charles E." by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or
+"Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The daughters of a duke should be addressed as "Lady Mary A." or "Lady
+Elizabeth B." by the upper classes, and as "Lady Mary" and "Lady
+Elizabeth" by those intimate with them, and as "My Lady" or "Your
+Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The eldest son of a marquess should be addressed as "Lord A." by the
+upper classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+The wife of the eldest son of a marquis should be addressed as "Lady A."
+by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other
+classes.
+
+The younger sons of a marquis should be addressed as "Lord Henry B."
+and "Lord Frederick B." by the upper classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your
+Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+The wives of the younger sons of a marquis should be addressed as "Lady
+Henry B." and "Lady Frederick B." by the upper classes, and as "My Lady"
+or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The daughters of a marquis should be addressed as "Lady Florence B." and
+"Lady Sarah B." by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your
+Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The eldest son of an earl should be addressed as "Lord C." by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+The wife of the eldest son of an earl should be addressed as "Lady C."
+by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other
+classes.
+
+The daughters of an earl should be addressed as "Lady Blanche" and "Lady
+Evelyn" by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all
+other classes.
+
+The younger sons of earls, and both eldest and younger sons of viscounts
+and barons, only bear the courtesy title of honourable. The daughters of
+viscounts and barons also bear the courtesy title of honourable. This
+title should never be used colloquially, "The Hon. Cecil Blank," "The
+Hon. Mrs. Cecil Blank," and "The Hon. Mary Blank," should be styled
+"Mr., Mrs., and Miss Mary Blank."
+
+Baronets should be addressed by their full title and surname, as Sir
+John Blank, by the upper classes, and by their titles and christian
+names only by all other classes.
+
+Baronets' wives should be addressed as "Lady B." or "Lady C.," according
+to the surnames of their husbands: thus, "Sir John Blank's" wife should
+be addressed as "Lady Blank" by the upper classes, not as "Lady John
+Blank"--to do so would be to give her the rank of the wife of the
+younger son of a duke or marquis instead of that of a baronet's wife
+only--and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The wives of knights should be addressed as "Lady B." or "Lady C.,"
+according to the surnames of their husbands: thus, "Sir John Blank's"
+wife should be addressed as "Lady Blank" by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In addressing Foreigners of Rank colloquially=, the received rule is to
+address them by their individual titles and surnames.
+
+A prince or princess should be addressed by their full title: thus,
+"Prince Munich," or "Princess Munich," by the upper classes. Persons
+intimate with them usually address them as "Prince" or "Princess," as
+the case may be.
+
+In the case of a prince being a younger son, and not the reigning head
+of the house, his christian name is generally used after his title when
+addressing him: thus, "Prince Louis," in lieu of "Prince" only. The same
+remark applies to the unmarried daughters of princes. They also should
+be addressed by their christian name, in addition to their title of
+"Princess," by the aristocracy and gentry, and as "Your Serene" or "Your
+Imperial Highness," according to their birth and title, by all other
+classes.
+
+A French duke should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Rouen," by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Duc" by all other classes.
+
+A French duchess should be addressed by her surname, with the addition
+of madame: thus, "Madame de Rouen" by the upper classes, and as "Madame
+la Duchesse" by all other classes.
+
+A marquis should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Harfleur" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Marquis" by all other classes.
+
+A marquise should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame: thus, "Madame la Harfleur" by the upper classes, and as "Madame
+la Marquise" by all other classes.
+
+A comte should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Montpellier" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Comte" by all other classes.
+
+A comtesse should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame: thus, "Madame de Montpellier" by the upper classes, and as
+"Madame la Comtesse" by all other classes.
+
+A vicomte should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Toulouse" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Vicomte" by all other classes.
+
+A vicomtesse should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame; thus, "Madame de Toulouse" by the upper classes, and as "Madame
+la Vicomtesse" by all other classes.
+
+A baron should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur d'Avignon" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Baron" by all other classes.
+
+A baronne should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame: thus, "Madame d'Avignon" by the upper classes, and as "Madame la
+Baronne" by all other classes.
+
+A young unmarried lady should be addressed as "Mademoiselle d'Avignon"
+by the upper classes, and as "Mademoiselle" by all other classes.
+
+In German titles the distinction of "Von" before the surname is seldom
+used colloquially, the title and surname being used without the prefix
+of "Von." Thus, "Count von Ausberg" should be addressed as "Count
+Ausberg" in conversation, and not as "Monsieur le Comte."
+
+Foreign ladies of rank should be addressed by their title and surname,
+and not by their title only, and the prefix "Von" should be omitted; but
+in the case of a French or Italian title the "de" or "de la" before the
+surname should on no account be omitted.
+
+When Englishmen are extremely intimate with foreigners of rank they
+would, in conversation, probably address them by their surnames; but
+only thorough intimacy and friendship warrants this familiarity.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards addressing the Clergy=, an archbishop should be addressed
+colloquially as "Archbishop" by the upper classes, and as "Your Grace"
+by the clergy and all other classes.
+
+A bishop should be addressed colloquially as "Bishop" by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lord" by the clergy and all other classes.
+
+A dean should be styled "Dean Blank" or "Dean," by the upper classes,
+and as "Mr. Dean" by the clergy.
+
+An archdeacon should be addressed as "Archdeacon Blank," and a canon as
+"Canon Blank."
+
+The wives of archbishops, bishops, and deans should be respectively
+addressed as "Mrs. A.," "Mrs. B.," or "Mrs. C." They take no title from
+the spiritual rank of their husbands.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Officers in the Army= should be respectively addressed as "General A.,"
+"Colonel B.," "Major C.," or "Captain D.," and not as "General,"
+"Colonel," or "Major," except by their very intimate friends.
+
+The wives of officers should be addressed as "Mrs. A.," "Mrs. B.," "Mrs.
+C.," or "Mrs. D." They should never be addressed as "Mrs. General A.,"
+"Mrs. Colonel B.," "Mrs. Major C.," or "Mrs. Captain D."
+
+A lady should not address her husband colloquially by his surname only,
+as "Jones," "Brown," or by whatever his surname might be, or speak of
+him without the prefix of "Mr."
+
+The usual rule is for a wife to speak of her husband as "Mr. Brown," or
+"My husband," except to intimate friends, when the christian name only
+is frequently used, and to address him by his christian name only.
+
+A wife should not address her husband by the initial letter of his
+surname, as "Mr. B." or "Mr. P."; neither should a husband address his
+wife by the initial letter of his surname.
+
+When intimate friends address each other by the initial letter of their
+names it is by way of pleasantry only, and such cases, of course, do not
+come within the rules of etiquette.
+
+Peeresses frequently address their husbands, and speak of them, by the
+name attached to their title, in place of using their christian or
+family name. Thus, the "Earl of Blankshire" would be styled "Blankshire"
+by his wife, without the prefix of "Lord," and his usual signature would
+be "Blankshire," without the addition of any christian name.
+
+Baronets' wives should not address their husbands by their surnames, but
+by their christian names, and should speak of them as "Sir George" or
+"Sir John."
+
+The wives of knights also should not address their husbands by their
+surnames, but by their christian names, and should speak of them as "Sir
+George" or "Sir John."
+
+The Lord Mayor should be addressed as "Lord Mayor," colloquially, and
+the Lady Mayoress as "Lady Mayoress," unless the Lord Mayor during
+office is created a baronet or receives the honour of knighthood, when
+he should be addressed as "Sir John" or "Sir Henry," and his wife as
+"Lady A."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+POINTS OF ETIQUETTE AS REGARDS ROYAL PERSONAGES
+
+
+General society is now very frequently brought into contact with
+royalty--members of the Royal Family of England and members of various
+royal families of Europe.
+
+With His Majesty this association is of frequent occurrence as regards
+the general public, and persons possessing special interest are
+constantly brought into communication with him.
+
+Strict Court etiquette is greatly in abeyance, and laid aside by His
+Majesty when paying visits to personal friends, or when receiving visits
+from the same.
+
+The geniality of the English princes and princesses is everywhere
+acknowledged, and the restrictions of Court etiquette are frequently
+relaxed by their desire when visiting at the houses of the nobility and
+gentry.
+
+The etiquette that reigns in foreign Courts--Austria, Russia, Greece,
+etc.--is seldom waived, and is adhered to with much punctilio. So much
+so is this the case with certain foreign princes who visit our shores,
+that the observances they claim as due to their exalted position are
+often felt to be a restraint upon the hosts whom they honour with their
+company, in town or country, at dinner, ball, or country-house party.
+
+On the other hand, many royal personages who occasionally visit England
+are unbending and unceremonious towards society in general.
+
+When royal personages visit London for a few weeks, whether located at
+palace, embassy, or hotel, it is etiquette for any person who is
+personally acquainted with or connected in any way with their Court or
+cabinet, or who has been presented at their Court, to leave cards on
+them and write their names in their visiting books. Persons still higher
+in the social scale, give receptions in their honour, and invite them to
+stay at their princely mansions.
+
+When such visits are paid, the principal neighbours are usually invited
+to meet the royal guests at dinner, ball, or reception, and on the
+invitation card is written, "To meet H.R.H. the Crown Prince of ----,"
+or "Her Serene Highness the Grand Duchess of ----," etc.; but a hostess
+exercises her own discretion respecting the invitations she issues.
+
+If a ball is in contemplation the county at large is invited to the
+mansion, but if dinner invitations only are issued, then the circle is
+necessarily restricted to a favoured few.
+
+The neighbours who are not invited to a house where a royal guest is
+staying should avoid calling on the hostess until the departure of the
+royal visitors, even if calls are due.
+
+The principal people of a county who happen to be present at an
+entertainment, either dinner or dance, are usually presented to the
+royal guests by the host or hostess, permission to do so having been
+first solicited.
+
+When the person to be presented is a person of rank or distinction, it
+would only be necessary to say, "May I present Lord A., or General B.,
+to you, Sir?" but if the person to be presented has no particular claim
+to the honour beyond being popular in the county, the request should be
+prefaced with a few words of explanation respecting the person to be
+presented.
+
+When the name or fame of those presented has reached the ears of the
+royal guests, they usually shake hands on the presentation being made,
+and enter into conversation with them; otherwise they merely bow, and
+make one or two passing remarks.
+
+A house-party is generally composed of those with whom a royal guest is
+more or less acquainted. When the party includes any one who is a
+stranger to the royal guests, he or she should be presented on the first
+opportunity.
+
+The members of the Royal Family have each, more or less, their
+particular set, as have also the foreign princes who periodically visit
+this country, and therefore house-parties are usually made up of those
+moving in the set of the expected prince.
+
+For the proper mode of addressing royal personages, see Chapter VI.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards royal invitations=, all invitations from the Sovereign are
+commands, and must be answered and obeyed as such, and the word
+"command" must be made use of in answering such invitations. If any
+reason exists for not obeying His Majesty's commands it should be
+stated.
+
+Invitations from members of the Royal Family are treated by courtesy as
+commands, but in replying to such invitations the word "command" should
+not be used. The answers to such invitations should be addressed to the
+Comptroller of the Household, by whom they are usually issued.
+
+Answers to royal invitations should be written in the third person, and
+reasons given for non-acceptance.
+
+A previous engagement cannot be pleaded as an excuse for refusing a
+royal invitation; only personal indisposition or serious illness, or
+death of near relatives, would be adequate reasons for not accepting a
+royal invitation.
+
+When a royal invitation is verbally given, the answer should be verbal
+also.
+
+At all entertainments at which royal guests are present they should be
+received by the host and hostess in the entrance-hall. In the case of
+serene highnesses they should be received by the host and conducted by
+him to the hostess; this rule equally applies to the reception of
+eastern princes.
+
+The etiquette to be observed on the departure of royal personages is
+identical with that observed on their arrival.
+
+With regard to inviting members of the Royal Family to assist at the
+opening of any public undertaking, the request should be made through
+the Comptroller of the Household of the prince who is to be invited, or
+through his secretary, and the same rule equally applies to both prince
+and princess.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Indian Princes.=--The exact status of Indian princes has never been
+actually laid down, but all who are "Highnesses" are given precedence at
+the English Court and in society after the Royal Family and foreign
+princes. In the procession at Court entertainments they go in front of
+ambassadors.
+
+No Indian prince is considered to be of blood royal, and they do not
+stand in the line at levées and Courts, but all have the private
+_Entrée_.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+POINTS OF ETIQUETTE WHEN TRAVELLING ABROAD, AND PRESENTATIONS AT FOREIGN
+COURTS
+
+
+The acquaintanceship of foreign residents is of considerable service to
+English people purposing to winter abroad, or to remain for any length
+of time in a continental city, as by its means they obtain an entrance
+into foreign society. An introduction to the English Ambassador or
+Minister at a foreign Court is of still greater service in this matter.
+
+People of recognised position in society have the privilege of leaving
+cards at the English Embassy at any foreign city in which they intend
+making a temporary stay.
+
+So thoroughly is the position of English travellers known to the English
+Ministry at a foreign Court, that should a person, who is not received
+in English society, leave cards at the English Embassy, they would be at
+once returned as an intimation that the acquaintance is declined.
+
+It is erroneous to suppose that by leaving cards upon foreigners of
+distinction, an acquaintanceship can be commenced, for unless
+introductions have been formally made, leaving cards is a useless
+proceeding.
+
+At far-away spots little frequented by the general run of travellers,
+and where there are but few, if any, resident English, travellers
+requiring advice or assistance from the English consul, can, without an
+introduction, call upon him, nationality being the ground upon which to
+do this, and if of equal social standing, they would be received with
+social consideration; if otherwise, all assistance would be given to
+them from an official point of view. Many people when travelling abroad
+make pleasant acquaintances even without the help of introductions, the
+occasion of a meeting being as it were a semi-introduction in itself.
+
+Such casual acquaintanceships are, however, attended with certain risks,
+especially to persons who have been absent from England some little
+time, or who when in England have entered comparatively but little in
+society, and who are thus apt to drift unawares into close friendships
+with people perhaps well bred and agreeable, although tabooed at home
+for some good and sufficient reason. _Contretemps_ such as these are
+painful to kind-hearted people when subsequently compelled to avoid and
+to relinquish the acquaintance of those with whom they have become
+pleasantly intimate. An introduction to an English resident in either
+town or city obviates any unpleasantness of this nature, as one so
+situated is generally kept _au courant_ with all that takes place in
+society at home.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When persons desire to enter into society abroad= they endeavour to
+obtain letters of introduction from friends and acquaintances to
+residents in the cities they purpose visiting.
+
+Unless English travellers have been duly presented at the Court of St.
+James's, they cannot obtain presentations at foreign Courts through the
+English Embassies.
+
+When a lady desires a presentation at a foreign Court, she should write
+to the English Ambassadress and request the honour of a presentation,
+and should state the date of her presentation and the name of the lady
+by whom she was presented. After her statement has been duly verified
+the request is granted. In a like manner when a gentleman desires a
+presentation at a foreign Court, he should write to the Ambassador and
+request the honour of a presentation, and should state the date of the
+Levée at which he was presented, and the name of the person by whom the
+presentation was made.
+
+Presentations at foreign Courts take place in the evening, and the
+persons to be presented, and those who attend, assemble previous to the
+entrance of the royal personages: the rule is for the grand _maîtresse_
+to present each lady in turn to her royal mistress, who makes the tour
+of the apartment for this purpose, and addresses some courteous
+observation to each.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+THE RECEIVED MODE OF PRONOUNCING CERTAIN SURNAMES
+
+
+There are, perhaps, two reasons why various surnames are so frequently
+mispronounced, the one being unfamiliarity with the freak of fashion
+which governs the pronunciation of certain well-known names, the other
+ignorance, or want of education.
+
+When sensitive persons hear a name pronounced differently from the way
+in which they have themselves but just pronounced it, and in a tone and
+manner strongly suggestive of correction, it is wounding to their _amour
+propre_.
+
+As a rule, when persons are in doubt as to the correct pronunciation of
+any particular name, it would be best to avoid mentioning it, if
+possible, until their doubts are set at rest by some one better informed
+than themselves.
+
+Names that have a fashionable or peculiar pronunciation, or are
+pronounced otherwise than as they are spelt, are but few, and names
+which it is possible wrongly to accent are also not very numerous; but
+it is surprising how often these names occur in the course of
+conversation.
+
+The names of distinguished artists that are open to mispronunciation
+occur far oftener in conversation than do the general run of uncommon
+surnames.
+
+There are many celebrated hunts and hunting quarters of which the names
+are open to considerable mispronunciation.
+
+With regard to placing the accent on the wrong syllable in the
+pronunciation of names, it requires but little thought to avoid making
+this mistake, a popular error being that of placing the accent upon the
+last syllable of a name; whereas, in a name of two syllables, the accent
+should invariably be placed upon the first, and the second syllable
+should be as it were slightly abbreviated or slightly altered.
+
+In names of three syllables the error usually consists in placing the
+accent upon the last syllable, whereas the accent should be placed upon
+the second syllable. There are occasional exceptions to this rule, and
+the few names given in this chapter, both as regards their pronunciation
+and accentuation, will serve as a useful guide in the pronunciation of
+uncommon names.
+
+  |SPELT.               |PRONOUNCED.       |REMARKS.                    |
+  |---------------------|------------------|----------------------------|
+  |Abergavenny.         |Abergen'ny.       |_Av_ not sounded.           |
+  |Arbuthnot.           |Arbuth'not.       |                            |
+  |Arundel.             |Arrandel.         |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Beaconsfield.        |Beckonsfield.     |                            |
+  |Beauchamp.           |Bea'cham.         |                            |
+  |Beauclerk or }       |Bo'clair.         |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Beauclerc.   }       |                  |                            |
+  |Belvoir.             |Be'ver.           |                            |
+  |Berkely.             |Bark'ley.         |                            |
+  |Bethune.             |Bee'ton.          |                            |
+  |Bicester.            |Bis'ter.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Blount.              |Blunt.            |                            |
+  |Blyth.               |Bly.              |_Th_ not sounded.           |
+  |Bourke.              |Burk.             |                            |
+  |Bourne.              |Burn.             |                            |
+  |Bowles.              |Boles.            |                            |
+  |Breadalbane.         |Breaddal'bane.    |Accent on second syllable.  |
+  |Brougham.            |Broum.            |                            |
+  |Buchan.              |Buck'an.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Burdett.             |Burdett'.         |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Burnett.             |Burnett'.         |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Bury.                |Berry.            |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Calderon.            |Cal'dron not      |                            |
+  |                     |  Cauldron.       |                            |
+  |Charteris.           |Charters.         |                            |
+  |Cholmeley.           |Chum'ley.         |                            |
+  |Cholmondeley.        |   "              |                            |
+  |Cirencester.         |Cis'ester.        |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Clanricarde.         |Clanrecarde.      |Accent on second syllable.  |
+  |Cockburn.            |C[=o]burn.        |_Ck_ not sounded.           |
+  |Colquhoun.           |Kohoon'.          |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Conynham.            |Cunyingham.       |                            |
+  |Coutts.              |Koots.            |                            |
+  |Cowper.              |Cooper.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Dalziel.             |Dee'al.           |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Derby.               |Darby.            |                            |
+  |Des Vaux.            |Deveu.            |The _x_ not sounded.        |
+  |Devereux.            |Devereu.          |The _x_ not sounded.        |
+  |Dillwyn.             |Dil'lun.          |The _wy_ takes the sound    |
+  |                     |                  |  of _u_; the accent on     |
+  |                     |                  |  first syllable.           |
+  |Duchesne.            |Dukarn.           |                            |
+  |Du Plat.             |Du Plar.          |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Elgin.               |                  |The _g_ hard as in give.    |
+  |Eyre.                |Air.              |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Fildes.              |Filedes.          |Not Filldes.                |
+  |Fortescue.           |Fort'iskew.       |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Geoffrey.            |Jefrey.           |                            |
+  |Geoghegan.           |Gaygan.           |                            |
+  |Gifford.             |Jifford.          |The _g_ soft as in George.  |
+  |Gillett.             |                  |_G_ hard as in Gilbert.     |
+  |Gillott.             |                  |_G_ hard.                   |
+  |Glamis.              |Glarms.           |                            |
+  |Gorges.              |Gor'jes.          |First _g_ hard and second   |
+  |                     |                  |   _g_ soft.                |
+  |Gough.               |Goff.             |                            |
+  |Gower.               |Gor.              |But Gower as regards the    |
+  |                     |                  |  street of that name with  |
+  |                     |                  |  the general public.       |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Harcourt.            |Har'kut.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Heathcote.           |Heth'kut.         |                            |
+  |Hertford.            |Har'ford.         |                            |
+  |Home.                |Hume.             |                            |
+  |Hughes.              |Hews.             |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Jervis.              |Jarvis.           |                            |
+  |Johnstone.           |                  |The _t_ not sounded.        |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Kennaird.            |Kennaird'.        |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Kennard.             |Kennard'.         |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Ker.                 |Kar.              |                            |
+  |Knollys.             |Knowls.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Layard.              |Laird.            |                            |
+  |Leconfield.          |Lek'onfield.      |                            |
+  |Lefevre.             |Lefavre.          |                            |
+  |Leigh.               |Lee.              |                            |
+  |Lyvedon.             |Livden.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Macnamara.           |Macnemar'ar.      |Accent on third syllable.   |
+  |Mainwaring.          |Man'nering.       |                            |
+  |Marjoribanks.        |Marshbanks.       |                            |
+  |McIntosh.            |Makintosh.        |                            |
+  |McLeod.              |McCloud.          |                            |
+  |Menzies.             |Myng'es.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Meux.                |Mews.             |The _x_ sounded as _s_.     |
+  |Millais.             |Mil'lay.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Milnes.              |Mills.            |                            |
+  |Molyneux.            |                  |The _x_ sounded with slight |
+  |                     |                  |  accent on last syllable.  |
+  |Monck.               |Munk.             |                            |
+  |Monckton.            |Munk'ton.         |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Monson.              |Munson.           |                            |
+  |Montgomerie or}      |Mungum'ery.       |Accent on second syllable.  |
+  |Montgomery.   }      |                  |                            |
+  |Mowbray.             |Mobrey.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Nigel.               |Ni'jel.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Ouless.              |Ooless.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Parnell.             |Parnell'.         |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Pepys.               |Pep'is.           |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Pierrepont.          |Pierpont.         |                            |
+  |Ponsonby.            |Punsonby.         |                            |
+  |Pontefract.          |Pomfret.          |                            |
+  |Pugh.                |Pew.              |                            |
+  |Pytchley.            |P[=y]tch'ley.     |Not Pitchley.               |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Ruthven.             |Riv'en.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Sandys.              |Sands.            |                            |
+  |St. Clair.           |Sinclair.         |                            |
+  |St. Maur.            |See'mor, or       |                            |
+  |                     |S'nt Maur.        |                            |
+  |St. John.            |Sinjin.           |As regards christian and    |
+  |                     |                  |  surname, but as St. John  |
+  |                     |                  |  when applied to church    |
+  |                     |                  |  or locality.              |
+  |Seymour.             |Sey'mer.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Strachan.            |Strawn.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Tadema.              |Tad'ymar.         |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Tollemache.          |Tollmash.         |                            |
+  |Trafalgar.           |Trafalgar'.       |Accent on last syllable; as |
+  |                     |                  |  regards the peer of that  |
+  |                     |                  |  name, not otherwise.      |
+  |Tredegar.            |Trede'gar.        |Accent on second syllable.  |
+  |Tremayne.            |Tremayne'.        |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Tyrwhitt.            |Tirritt.          |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Vaughan.             |Vorn.             |                            |
+  |Vaux.                |                  |The _x_ sounded.            |
+  |Villbois.            |Vealbwor.         |                            |
+  |Villiers.            |Vil'lers.         |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Waldegrave.          |Wal'grave.        |The _de_ not sounded.       |
+  |Wemyss.              |Weems.            |                            |
+  |Willoughby D'Eresby. |Willowby D'Ersby. |                            |
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+PRESENTATIONS AT COURTS AND ATTENDING COURTS
+
+
+Courts are now held in lieu of Drawing-rooms by Their Majesties the King
+and Queen at Buckingham Palace, and at which Presentations to Their
+Majesties are made.
+
+These Courts are held in the evenings at ten o'clock, but the hour at
+which the company should commence to arrive is intimated by the Lord
+Chamberlain in the notice issued of the Courts to be held.
+
+Two Courts are usually, but not invariably, held before Easter, and two
+more after Easter.
+
+Ladies who have been presented at Drawing-rooms and Courts, held during
+the last two reigns, do not require to be again presented to Their
+Majesties the King and Queen; thus, ladies who have already been
+presented at these Drawing-rooms, and who are desirous of being invited
+to one or other of these Courts, and who are also desirous of making
+presentations, should send in their names and the names of those to be
+presented by them to the Lord Chamberlain, St. James's Palace, S.W., on
+the 1st of January in each year, but not before that date.
+
+Ladies are also privileged to mention at the same time when it will be
+most convenient to them to pay their respects to Their Majesties. If it
+should not be convenient for a lady to attend or be presented at the
+particular Court to which she is invited, it will be open to her to make
+her excuses to the Lord Chamberlain in writing, when her name can, if
+desired, and if possible, be transferred to another list.
+
+A lady who makes a presentation to Their Majesties, must be personally
+acquainted with and responsible for the lady she presents. She must
+herself attend the Court, and cannot present more than one lady in
+addition to her daughter or daughter-in-law. The numbers received at
+each Court being necessarily limited, ladies can only receive occasional
+invitations. Therefore, those who cannot be included in the year's list
+of invitations will receive an intimation to this effect from the Lord
+Chamberlain in answer to their applications to attend.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Persons entitled to be presented at Their Majesties' Courts= are
+the wives and daughters of the members of the aristocracy, the wives and
+daughters of those holding high official appointments in the Government,
+the wives and daughters of Members of Parliament, the county gentry and
+town gentry, the wives and daughters of the members of the legal,
+military, naval, clerical, medical, and other professions, the wives and
+daughters of merchants, bankers, and members of the Stock Exchange, and
+persons engaged in commerce on a large scale.
+
+Although the word "gentry" is thus elastic, and although persons coming
+within the category might be fairly entitled to the privilege of
+attending Courts, yet it is well understood that birth, wealth,
+associations, and position give a _raison d'être_ for such privilege;
+as, for instance, the wife and daughters of an officer in the navy or a
+line regiment, whose means are slender, and whose position is obscure,
+would not be justified for these reasons in attending a Court, although
+the officer himself might attend a levée if desirous of doing so; and
+this remark equally applies to the wives and daughters of clergymen,
+barristers, and others similarly situated.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Presentations to Their Majesties= are made officially by the various
+foreign ambassadresses, by the wives of the members of the Cabinet, and
+by the wives of other official personages in various departments of the
+State, either civil, military, naval, or clerical.
+
+Presentations at each of Their Majesties' Courts are now limited by
+royal command.
+
+Presentations to Their Majesties should be made either by a relative or
+a friend of the lady presented who has herself been previously
+presented.
+
+A lady has the privilege of presenting one lady only at a Court in
+addition to her daughter or daughter-in-law.
+
+This restriction does not apply to ladies who, from official position or
+other circumstances, are specially privileged to make presentations to
+Their Majesties.
+
+When a presentation is not made officially or by a near relative it is
+considered a favour on the part of the person making the presentation
+towards the person presented.
+
+The responsibility of a presentation rests upon the person who makes it,
+both as to the social and moral fitness of the person presented;
+therefore, to solicit the favour of a presentation from a friend is to
+incur a considerable obligation, and it is a favour ladies have no
+hesitation in refusing unless good reasons exist for granting it.
+
+When presentations are made through official channels the responsibility
+rests upon the "office" rather than upon the person making the
+presentation; hence presentations so made have little personal
+significance to the person making them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady having been presented on her Marriage= has the privilege of
+attending, by invitation, any subsequent Court, but ladies who have no
+official position will only be allowed to attend a Court by summons
+every third year. On the accession of her husband to any title, she
+would again have to be presented, and should she marry a second time
+another presentation would be necessary to entitle her to attend one of
+Their Majesties' Courts.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is the Privilege of the Married Lady to make Presentations=, but
+should any person be presented whose antecedents or present position
+renders her socially unqualified to be presented, the Lord Chamberlain,
+on becoming aware of the fact, would at once cancel the presentation,
+and officially announce it in the _Gazette_, and the person making such
+presentation would be expected to tender an apology for so doing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=An Unmarried Lady does not possess the Privilege= of making a
+presentation, however high her rank may be. She is not permitted to
+attend any subsequent Courts after first presentation until three years
+have elapsed; save under exceptional circumstances.
+
+Four Courts are held during each year at Buckingham Palace, two before
+and two after Easter, but due intimation is given previous to each Court
+being held by the Lord Chamberlain through the medium of the official
+_Gazette_, from whence it is copied into the newspapers.
+
+The wives of members of the Cabinet and of the ambassadors or ministers
+at the Court of St. James's usually attend at each Court, and have the
+privilege of doing so by reason of the official presentations made by
+them at each Court.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is compulsory for a Lady= making a presentation to be herself
+present at the Court at which the presentation is to be made, though it
+is not necessary for her to accompany the person whom she presents, but
+simply to attend the same Court.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Lady intends making a Presentation= she should, on or after the
+1st of January write to the Lord Chamberlain and inform him of a wish
+to attend a Court, and forward the name of the lady to be presented by
+her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ladies are not expected= to attend Court more than once in every three
+years, unless under exceptional circumstances.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady attending a Court= may present one lady in addition to her
+daughter or daughter-in-law.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady presented for the First Time= can only present her daughter or
+daughter-in-law at the Court at which she is presented.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=No Applications can be received= from ladies who wish to be presented.
+Their names must be forwarded by the ladies who wish to make the
+presentations.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Summonses are issued= about three weeks before the date of each Court.
+
+Ladies may be accompanied to Court by their husbands if the latter have
+been presented, but gentlemen do not pass before the King and Queen.
+Ladies are requested to forward the names of their husbands at the same
+time as their own, in order that they may be submitted together, as once
+the summons has been issued the amending of a summons card in order to
+include a lady's husband can only be permitted under the most
+exceptional circumstances.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Those who have the Privilege of the Entrée= enter at the gate of the
+Palace situated outside Buckingham Gate. Those who possess this
+privilege are the diplomatic circle, the Cabinet ministers and their
+wives, and the members of the Household. The rooms, two in number, next
+to the Presence Chamber, are appropriated to them. All who have the
+privilege of the _entrée_ are received by Their Majesties before the
+general circle, and according to their individual precedency, and they
+have also the privilege of making the first presentations.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Lady arrives at the Palace= she should leave her wraps in the
+cloak-room with one of the maids in attendance. After crossing the Great
+Hall, she then makes her way up the Grand Staircase to the Corridor,
+where she shows her invitation-card to the page-in-waiting, and then
+passes on to one of the saloons.
+
+When a lady arrives early she gains admission to the saloon next to
+those reserved for the _entrée_. When she arrives late she has to take
+her place in a further room of the suite according to the number of
+persons present.
+
+The gentlemen-at-arms stationed at the door of each room close the gilt
+barriers when they consider the saloons are full. Chairs and benches are
+placed in the corridor and in these saloons for the accommodation of
+ladies thus waiting their turn to enter the Throne-room or Presence
+Chamber.
+
+As the ladies quit each room for the Presence Chamber, others take their
+places, and the barriers are again closed, and this is continued until
+every one has been received.
+
+A lady has to pass through the two _entrée_ saloons before reaching the
+Picture Gallery.
+
+At the door of the Picture Gallery a lady's train, which she has
+hitherto carried on her arm, is let down by two officials in attendance,
+and spread out by them with their wands; she should cross the gallery
+with her train down to the Presence Chamber, at the door of which she
+should give the card of invitation she has brought with her to the
+official stationed there to receive it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady on being presented=, curtsys to the King and curtsys to the
+Queen. The King bows in return, as does also the Queen. A lady presented
+does not kiss the Queen's hand, as she formerly did. The King does not
+shake hands with any present, however high their rank may be, neither
+does the Queen shake hands with any present.
+
+A lady on being presented does not now curtsy to any member of the
+Royal Family when she has passed Their Majesties, and leaves the
+Presence Chamber, stepping backwards, facing the royal party, until
+making her exit from the apartment, when an official places her train on
+her arm at the threshold of the doorway.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Lady wishes to attend a Court=, after having been duly
+presented, it is necessary to inform the Lord Chamberlain of her wish to
+attend. Summonses are issued about three weeks before the date of each
+Court.
+
+Having received a summons to attend a Court she should take the summons
+card with her, which she should show to the page-in-waiting in the
+corridor, and eventually hand it to the official stationed at the door
+of the Presence Chamber, by whom it is passed on to the Lord
+Chamberlain, who announces the name to Their Majesties.
+
+A lady attending a Court curtsys to the King; she also curtsys to the
+Queen, but does not curtsy to any other member of the Royal Family
+present.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In the General Circle there is no Precedency= as to the order in which
+ladies attending a Court enter the Presence Chamber. The earliest
+arrivals are the first to appear before Their Majesties, without
+reference to rank or position; and the same rule applies to ladies who
+are presented, or to ladies who make presentations.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Married Lady presented at a Court= can, at the same Court, present
+her daughter or daughter-in-law; but in this case the one presented by
+her should enter the Presence Chamber after her, and not before her.
+
+Although, according to present regulations, the unmarried daughters of
+members of the nobility and gentry who have already been presented are
+only expected to attend a Court once in every three years, it will not
+prevent their being invited to Court functions, to the State balls,
+concerts, and garden parties.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ladies who have been presented at a Court= have the privilege of
+writing their names in Their Majesties' visiting book at Buckingham
+Palace once during the season. The hours of calling for this purpose are
+generally from three to five o'clock in the afternoon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is Imperative for Ladies to wear Full Court Dress= when attending or
+being presented at a Court, viz. low bodice, short sleeves, and train to
+dress not less than three yards in length from the shoulders.
+
+Whether the train is cut round or square is a matter of inclination or
+fashion. The width at the end should be 54 inches.
+
+It is also imperative that a presentation-dress should be white, if the
+person presented be an unmarried lady; and it is also the fashion for
+married ladies to wear white on their presentation, unless their age
+renders their doing so unsuitable.
+
+The white dresses worn by either _débutantes_ or married ladies may be
+trimmed with either coloured or white flowers, according to individual
+taste.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=High Court Dress.=--The Queen has been pleased to permit that a high
+Court dress of silk, satin, or velvet, may be worn at Their Majesties'
+Courts, and on other State occasions, by ladies, to whom, from illness,
+infirmity, or advancing age, the present low Court dress is
+inappropriate, viz.: Bodices in front, cut square, or heart-shaped,
+which may be filled in with white only, either transparent or lined; at
+the back, high, or cut down three-quarters height. Sleeves to elbow,
+either thick or transparent.
+
+Trains, gloves, and feathers as usual.
+
+It is necessary for ladies who wish to appear in "High Court Dress" to
+obtain Royal permission, through the Lord Chamberlain.
+
+This regulation does not apply to ladies who have already received
+permission to wear high dress.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=White gloves only should be worn=, excepting in case of mourning, when
+black or grey gloves are admissible.
+
+As a lady on presentation does not now kiss the Queen's hand as formerly
+she did, she is not required to remove the right-hand glove before
+entering the Presence Chamber. This order, therefore, is no longer in
+force, and a lady wearing elbow gloves and bracelets will find it a
+great convenience not to be obliged to take off her glove.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is compulsory for both Married and Unmarried Ladies to Wear
+Plumes.=--The married lady's Court plume consists of three white
+feathers.
+
+An unmarried lady's of two white feathers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The three white feathers= should be mounted as a Prince of Wales'
+plume, and worn towards the left-hand side of the head.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Coloured feathers= may not be worn.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In deep mourning= white feathers must be worn, black feathers are
+inadmissible.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=White veils or lace lappets= must be worn with the feathers. The veils
+should not be longer than 45 inches.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Bouquets are not included= in the dress regulations issued by the Lord
+Chamberlain, although they are invariably carried by both married and
+unmarried ladies. It is thus optional to carry a bouquet or not, and
+some elderly ladies carry much smaller bouquets than do younger ladies.
+
+A fan and a lace pocket-handkerchief are also carried by a lady on
+presentation or on attending a Court, but these two items are also
+altogether optional.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+PRESENTATIONS AT LEVÉES AND ATTENDING LEVÉES
+
+
+=Levées are held by the King= in person. Those who have been presented
+at levées held by His late Majesty, King Edward, do not require to be
+again presented to His Majesty King George.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Four or more Levées are usually held every year= by the King at St.
+James's Palace.
+
+Gentlemen are officially presented by the heads of any department or
+profession to which they individually belong, whether civil or military,
+naval or clerical; it is more usual for a gentleman to be presented by
+the head of his department, or by the colonel of his regiment, than by
+his nearest relative.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Presentations are also made by Relatives= and friends of those
+presented; but these are greatly in the minority at all levées.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gentlemen must be again presented= at every step in their career,
+whether civil, military, naval, or clerical--on civil appointments, on
+gaining steps of naval, military, legal, or clerical rank, and on
+accession to title, whether inherited or conferred.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Those entitled to be presented at His Majesty's Levées= are the members
+of the aristocracy and gentry, the members of the diplomatic corps, the
+Cabinet, and all leading Government officials, Members of Parliament,
+leading members of the legal profession, the naval and military
+professions, the leading members of the clerical profession, the leading
+members of the medical and artistic professions, the leading bankers,
+merchants, and members of the Stock Exchange, and persons engaged in
+commerce on a large scale. An exception to the rule as regards retail
+trade is made in favour of any person receiving Knighthood, or when
+holding the office of Mayor, or being made a Justice of the Peace, or on
+receiving a Commission in the Territorial forces.
+
+The dates on which levées are to be held are duly announced in the
+_Gazette_, and in the daily newspapers.
+
+At all future levées cards of admission will be required, as the numbers
+at each of these ceremonies must be limited.
+
+The Lord Chamberlain has issued the following revised list of rules,
+which are to be observed at attendances and presentations in future--
+
+All officers, whether on the active or retired lists, of the Royal Navy
+and the Royal Marines, of whatever rank, should communicate with and
+obtain their cards from the private secretary to the First Lord of the
+Admiralty. All civil officers of the Admiralty should follow the same
+rule.
+
+All officers, whether on the active or retired lists, of the Army,
+Regulars or Territorials, of whatever rank, except those on the Indian
+and Colonial Establishments, should communicate with and obtain their
+cards from the Adjutant-General at the War Office, stating clearly at
+which levée they desire to be present, and whether they wish to attend
+or to be presented; if the latter, stating by whom and on what occasion.
+Deputy-lieutenants of counties should also communicate and obtain their
+cards from the War Office.
+
+Officers of the Household Cavalry and Foot Guards on the active list
+should make application to the Lord Chamberlain at St. James's Palace
+for cards of admission and presentation. All retired Officers of the
+Household Cavalry and Brigade of Guards should apply to the War Office.
+
+All officers of the Indian Civil Service and of the Indian Army, of
+whatever rank, whether on the active or retired lists, should
+communicate with, and obtain their cards from the private secretary to
+the Secretary of State at the India Office, Whitehall.
+
+All officers of the Colonial service and Colonial forces, of whatever
+rank, whether on the active or retired lists, should communicate with
+and obtain their cards from the Colonial Office, Whitehall.
+
+Similarly, all gentlemen connected with the Foreign Office, the Home
+Office, officials connected with the Houses of Parliament, or any
+Government department, should communicate with and obtain their cards
+for attendance or presentation at levées from the department under which
+they serve.
+
+Judges, law officers, King's Counsel, and all legal officials holding
+appointments under the Crown are requested to make their applications
+through the secretary to the Lord Chancellor.
+
+Peers, bishops, Lords-Lieutenants of Counties, Members of Parliament,
+clergy of all denominations, and all gentlemen, other than the
+above-mentioned, should communicate with the Lord Chamberlain at St.
+James's Palace, when they will each be furnished with a card of
+admission for use at the levée.
+
+The names both for attendance and presentation must be received at the
+various offices above indicated not later than eight days prior to the
+date of each levée, but in the case of officers, who make application to
+the War Office, fourteen days before the date of each levée.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Gentleman makes a Presentation= it is compulsory for him to
+attend the same levée as the person whom he presents, and the card of
+presentation is sent to him to be forwarded to the person to be
+presented.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Gentleman on being presented= should bow to the King, and His Majesty
+will bow to him in return. Gentlemen attending a levée should also bow
+to His Majesty.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gentlemen who have been presented= at a levée have the privilege of
+writing their names in His Majesty's visiting book at Buckingham Palace
+once during the season. The hours of calling for this purpose are
+generally from three to five o'clock in the afternoon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Dress to be worn at Courts, State Functions and Levées.=--Full
+dress uniform is invariably worn by all gentlemen entitled to wear it.
+All officers of Scottish kilted corps should wear the kilt irrespective
+of their being mounted officers or not. Gentlemen who do not wear
+uniform may wear either velvet Court dress, new style; velvet Court
+dress, old style; cloth Court dress.
+
+The new style velvet Court dress is of black silk velvet. The body of
+the coat lined with white silk and the skirt with black silk. Steel
+buttons. Waistcoat of white satin or black silk velvet. Breeches of
+black silk velvet, black silk hose, patent leather shoes, steel buckled;
+white bow necktie, white gloves, sword, black beaver or silk cocked hat.
+The velvet Court dress, old style, is very similar to the foregoing,
+with the addition of a black silk wig-bag at the back of the neck, and
+lace frills and ruffles. The cloth Court dress consists of a coat of
+dark mulberry, claret, or green cloth with black silk linings, gold
+embroidery on collar, cuffs, and pocket flaps, gilt buttons with
+Imperial Crown; waistcoat of white corded silk or white Marcella;
+breeches of cloth, colour of coat; black silk hose, patent leather
+shoes, sword, white bow necktie, white gloves, black beaver or silk
+cocked hat.
+
+Levée dress is identical with the foregoing except that trousers--with a
+row of narrow gold lace down the side seams--are worn, and not
+breeches. Military patent leather boots.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Archbishops and Bishops= at Levées and Courts wear Convocation robes,
+viz. scarlet cloth chimere, without hood; purple cassock and sash, lawn
+rochet with sleeves, white cambric bands, black silk scarf, black
+breeches, silver knee buckles, black silk stockings, shoes with silver
+buckles; purple or black velvet square soft cap to be carried. At
+Evening State Functions and Full Dress Dinners they wear a purple cloth
+Court coat over a short cassock or apron, sash of purple silk, black
+breeches, black silk stockings, shoes with silver buckles; black corded
+silk three-cornered hat to be carried.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Deans and Archdeacons= at Evening State Functions wear the same dress
+as bishops except that the coat and short cassock are black. Doctors of
+Divinity at Levées and Courts wear the scarlet cloth robe of their
+University, without hood.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Clergy if not Doctors of Divinity= at Levées and Courts wear full
+canonicals, that is, a black silk Geneva gown, double-breasted; black
+silk long cassock and sash, scarf and white lawn bands, black breeches,
+silver knee buckles, black silk stockings, shoes with silver buckles,
+black corded silk three-cornered hat. At Full Dress Dinners and Evening
+State Parties when canonicals are not worn, they wear a black cloth
+Court coat, cassock, waistcoat of black corded silk, black breeches,
+black silk stockings, shoes, silver buckles; black corded silk
+three-cornered hat to be carried. White gloves are worn at all Court
+functions. The academical habit should not be worn at Court except when
+addresses are presented from the Universities.
+
+When the Court is in mourning, gentlemen attending a levée are expected
+to wear a band of black crape on the left arm above the elbow.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+BALLS AND STATE BALLS
+
+
+=Balls= are given in town and country by society at large, and these
+invitation balls include Hunt Balls, Military and Naval Balls, Yeomanry
+and Territorial Balls, Bachelors' Balls, etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Public Balls= are those balls for which tickets of admission can be
+purchased, although for many of these balls it is necessary to obtain
+vouchers from the committees or patronesses, when held in town or at
+watering-places.
+
+Public balls include County Balls, Charity Balls, and Subscription
+Balls, etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In Town, Ball-giving= is in a way a science, and an amusement upon
+which large sums of money are frequently expended.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Crowded Ball= is not always pronounced a good ball by the guests,
+often the contrary, but then, again, what is termed a thin ball is open
+to the accusation of not going off well, and falling rather flat; of not
+being kept up with spirit, and of being considered a stupid ball, and so
+on.
+
+To hit upon a happy medium with regard to the number of guests is an
+achievement in ball-giving which is only arrived at by a careful study
+of the map of the county, and a judicious selection of night. This
+selection is of paramount importance to the success of a ball, as when a
+smarter ball is given at a smarter house on the particular evening
+chosen by the giver of a less brilliant ball, the grander ball
+extinguishes the lesser ball, through the most fashionable people merely
+looking in at the one, and remaining the rest of the evening at the
+other. This putting out as it were of the lesser light, occurs very
+frequently during the London season to ball-givers moving in the same
+sets. The guests who have been expected to add lustre to the lesser
+balls appear but for a few minutes, and usually arrive rather early,
+uncomplimentarily early, at perhaps a little before eleven, and remain
+hardly half an hour in the rooms, making their way to another ball of
+the same calibre, and remaining there perhaps another twenty minutes,
+before arriving at the goal, viz. _the_ ball of the evening. Both ladies
+and gentlemen follow this practice, thus, at a little after twelve, an
+average ball-giver finds her rooms deserted by all but those who have
+nowhere else to go. Although the flitting of the guests thus early is a
+disappointment to the hostess, and although it does not prevent the
+fleeting ball-givers from making suitable returns by placing the family
+on their ball lists, it yet greatly mars the enjoyment of the ball, and
+prevents its being looked back upon with anything approaching to
+pleasure or satisfaction, the departure of the most eligible partners
+being not the least of the vexations of the night.
+
+These _contretemps_ are sometimes unavoidable; but, when practicable, it
+is always best to postpone a ball rather than to allow it to clash with
+a ball of greater pretensions.
+
+An impromptu dance is often a great success, while an impromptu ball is
+almost as certain to prove a great failure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Difference between a Dance and a Ball= consists in the number of
+the invitations issued, in the strength of the band, and the extent of
+the supper arrangements.
+
+At a dance the number of the guests varies from eighty to two hundred;
+at a ball they vary from two hundred to five hundred.
+
+At a dance a piano band is frequently engaged, while at a ball a full
+band is requisite. At a ball the floral decorations are a great feature,
+at a small dance they are often dispensed with. Ladies new to society as
+it were, or whose circle of acquaintance is of a limited character, and
+who do not number in that circle many ball-givers, and who yet desire to
+form a ball acquaintance, frequently place their ball in the hands of
+some intimate friend of higher standing than themselves, giving her
+_carte blanche_ to form a ball list. When this plan is followed,
+invitations are still sent out by the ball-giver; in every case the name
+and compliments of the lady who forms the list are sent with the card.
+
+This plan, although of advantage to the hostess, is often productive of
+much unpleasantness to her unfashionable friends, who are naturally very
+much affronted at being excluded from the ball list, which they usually
+are, as a lady who undertakes to form a ball list for a friend is not a
+little arbitrary as to the conditions under which she assumes its
+management. She naturally wishes the ball to be confined to her own set,
+to the exclusion of what she terms all outsiders.
+
+Ladies are always more or less reluctant to yield up their ball to the
+exclusion of their old friends, however anxious they may be to make new
+ones. But when a ball is thus given it is thoroughly understood that
+conditions, however stringent, must be complied with.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Hostess should receive her Guests= at the head of the staircase at a
+ball given in town, and at the door of the ball-room at a country house
+ball. She should shake hands with each guest in the order of their
+arrival.
+
+The ladies of a party should advance towards the hostess, followed by
+the gentlemen of their party.
+
+A lady and gentleman should not ascend the staircase arm-in-arm, or make
+their entrance into the ball-room arm-in-arm. The gentlemen invariably
+enter the ball-room after the ladies of their party, and never before
+them, or arm-in-arm with them. A ball is usually opened either by the
+hostess herself, or by one of her daughters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Opening a Fancy Dress Ball= simply signifies dancing in the first
+quadrille. Opening a dance means dancing the first valse.
+
+When a member of the Royal Family, or a foreign prince, is expected,
+dancing should not commence until the arrival of the royal guest; and
+when the royal guest is a lady, the host should open the ball with her,
+having his wife or daughter as _vis-à-vis_. When the royal guest is a
+prince, the hostess or her daughter should open the ball with him.
+
+When a prince wishes to dance with any lady present, with whom he is
+unacquainted, his equerry informs her of the prince's intention, and
+conducts her to the prince, saying as he does so, "Mrs. A----, your
+Royal Highness" or "Miss B----, your Royal Highness." The prince bows
+and offers her his arm; the lady should curtsey and take it. She should
+not address him until addressed by him, it not being considered
+etiquette to do so. The same course is followed by a princess; strangers
+to the princess should not ask her to dance, but the host has the
+privilege of doing so. When more than one royal personage is present,
+the one of the highest rank leads the way, with either hostess or host.
+(See Chapter V.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Royal Guests= should be received by the host and hostess at the
+entrance of the mansion, and by them conducted to the ball-room. At
+ball-suppers the same precedence is strictly in force, the royal guests
+leading the way with host or hostess (see p. 49).
+
+The same etiquette should be observed on the departure of royal guests
+as on their arrival.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=General Introductions= should not be made to royal guests, and
+introductions should be made by request only.
+
+Gentlemen present at a ball are expected to ask the daughters of the
+house for one dance at least.
+
+A hostess should use her own discretion as to any introduction she
+thinks proper to make. When a ball is given in the country, the hostess
+should endeavour to find partners for those young ladies who are
+strangers to the general company. But when a ball is given in town, she
+is not expected to do so, as in town the guests are supposed to be
+acquainted with each other more or less, and to be independent of the
+kind offices of a hostess.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Dances mainly in vogue at the moment= are, "Valses," "The Boston,"
+"Two Steps," and "The Cotillon," in which handsome presents are given.
+"Quadrilles" are danced at "State Balls," and at those balls at which
+the King and Queen are present. Also at "Fancy Dress Balls." "Lancers"
+are danced occasionally at "Hunt Balls."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Precedency observed= in sending guests in to supper is far more
+punctiliously followed in the country than in town. The host should take
+in the lady of highest rank present, and the hostess should endeavour to
+send in the principal guests according to their individual rank; but in
+town she generally leaves the guests to follow the host and lady of
+highest rank according to their inclinations, a guest should not enter
+the supper-room before the host has done so.
+
+When a gentleman takes a lady in to supper, he should re-conduct her to
+the ball-room as a matter of course; the fact of friends joining her in
+the supper-room would not relieve him from this obligation. And the same
+etiquette applies equally to a lady. She should return to the ball-room
+only with the gentleman who has taken her down to supper, unless she is
+engaged for the ensuing dance, when her partner might come in quest of
+her; she should then return to the ball-room with him.
+
+It is not usual for guests to take leave of a hostess at a London ball.
+This remark applies to acquaintances of the hostess, and not to intimate
+friends.
+
+At a country ball the guests are on a more friendly footing than is
+generally the case in town; and, therefore, make a point of taking leave
+of the hostess if possible.
+
+It is optional whether a host conducts a lady to her carriage or not. In
+the country more is expected of him than in town in this respect, as at
+a London ball, such a civility would involve a vast amount of exertion
+which few hosts would be willing to undergo: ladies accompanied by an
+acquaintance generally make their way to their carriages.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Custom of covering in Small Balconies= and the windows of the
+drawing-rooms where a ball takes place, rendering the atmosphere of the
+room almost insupportable from the total exclusion of air, is fast
+disappearing. The space gained by this means for the accommodation of
+the guests is totally disproportionate to the discomfort thereby
+entailed upon them.
+
+Ball-givers have at length realised the mistake of crowding two hundred
+to three hundred people together into rooms not properly ventilated, and
+it is now the rule, when covering in balconies, to introduce window
+frames into the bunting covering, and to drape them with lace curtains,
+etc., the windows of the ball-room being entirely removed.
+
+Large blocks of ice are frequently placed in convenient spots for the
+purpose of cooling the atmosphere, and coloured ice produces a pretty
+effect.
+
+Patent ventilators are also much in use, and the substitution of
+electric lighting, on account of its emitting little heat, has become
+general.
+
+Ball-goers appreciate these alterations as only those who have
+experienced the close, stifling atmosphere of an over-crowded ball-room
+can do, and as half the London ball-rooms are only average-sized
+drawing-rooms, the absurdity of excluding air from the ball-room with
+yards of thick canvas cannot be too severely criticised.
+
+Ball-givers, too, frequently issue far more invitations than the size of
+their rooms authorises, under the mistaken idea that to have a great
+crowd in their rooms is to give a good ball.
+
+But experienced ball-givers limit the number of their invitations to
+under two hundred, instead of expanding it to over three hundred.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Country Ball Season= ostensibly commences in November, reaches its
+zenith in January, and terminates early in February.
+
+The stewards of these balls are, as a rule, the representatives of the
+various classes by whom they are attended; the members of the
+aristocracy residing in the county heading the list of stewards, and the
+members of the professional classes usually closing it.
+
+The top of the ball-room is, as a rule, appropriated by the aristocratic
+element, head stewards and "lady patronesses."
+
+The enjoyment derived from country balls depends upon a variety of
+circumstances, which do not influence in a like degree the ball-going
+world of London.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=County Balls= are principally composed of a series of large parties
+brought by different ladies in the neighbourhood where the ball is held;
+but there are two classes of county balls, balls which are held in large
+and populous towns and attended by the principal residents of the towns,
+with only a small sprinkling of the county aristocracy and county
+gentry.
+
+There are also Hunt Balls and annual Charity Balls which take place
+between October and February, and which are an amalgamation of both
+classes of balls.
+
+The neighbourhood where a ball is held is a sufficient indication as to
+whether it is likely to be a smart one or not.
+
+As a rule the leading ladies of a county lend their names as patronesses
+and supporters of a charity ball, although it by no means follows that
+they will personally attend it; but a long list of influential
+patronesses materially increases the sale of tickets, which is the
+result to be achieved.
+
+A large attendance is not the primary object of a county ball, as the
+sum raised by the sale of tickets is only required to defray the
+expenses of the ball, although these are sometimes considerable,
+especially when the decorations are elaborate, and the arrangements on a
+grand scale, in which case there is not seldom a deficiency rather than
+a surplus, which deficiency is defrayed by the stewards themselves.
+
+To ensure a good ball considerable unanimity on the part of the county
+ladies is demanded, and they usually meet and consult together previous
+to fixing the date of the ball, to take into consideration the fixtures
+of neighbouring county balls, and so avoid the possibility of the said
+balls clashing with their own county ball, and also with a view of
+perhaps attracting the house parties of their more distant neighbours to
+swell the numbers at their own ball.
+
+House parties invited for a ball vary from ten to twenty-five, as the
+accommodation of a house admits.
+
+It is not the province of the stewards of a ball to find partners for
+either ladies or gentlemen, and therefore, if a lady does not form one
+of a large party, but merely attends a county ball with a relative or
+friend, and has not a large acquaintance amongst these present, she has
+very little chance of obtaining partners.
+
+Young ladies do not now return to their chaperons after each dance, or
+after they have been to the tea-room.
+
+A gentleman should offer his arm to his partner at the conclusion of a
+dance to conduct her to the tea-room. In round dances, it is customary
+to take frequent pauses, and not to race round the ball-room until the
+music ceases.
+
+At country balls programmes are invariably used; at London balls they
+are never used, save at public balls.
+
+County balls usually commence between nine and ten o'clock, sometimes a
+ball is not opened until the most influential of the stewards and their
+parties have arrived, but oftener than not the two first dances are over
+before the arrival of the county magnates.
+
+It depends upon the length of the drive at what time people arrive at a
+ball; as a rule, they do not arrive later than 10.30 p.m.
+
+The usual mode of conveying a house-party to a ball is by private
+omnibus in addition to carriages and motor cars; but when these are
+hired for the occasion the expense should be defrayed by the guests
+themselves.
+
+It is usual to leave a country ball not later than half-past two; the
+most fashionable people invariably do so about that hour.
+
+As a matter of course persons attending public balls take their ball
+tickets with them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When attending a Military Ball=, or a Hunt Ball, it is usually the rule
+to take the invitation card and hand it to the sergeant or official in
+attendance.
+
+It is sometimes stated on the invitation card that this is to be done,
+although it is often taken for granted that persons will do so of their
+own accord.
+
+At balls given by private individuals, the invited guests should not
+bring their invitation cards with them, unless in the case of a _bal
+masqué_, where they are sometimes requested to do so.
+
+In giving a ball three weeks' notice is considered necessary, but with
+regard to a dance a short ten days' notice would suffice.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Invitation Card= is the usual "at home" card, the word "Dancing"
+being printed in the corner of the card.
+
+The word "ball" should never be used on an invitation card, however
+grand the entertainment; and the same form of invitation is employed
+either in the case of a small dance or of a large ball, though in the
+event of a small dance only being given, the words "Small" or "Early"
+should be written or printed on the invitation card.
+
+Invitations to a ball should be issued in the name of the hostess only.
+
+When the host is a widower, with a grown-up daughter, the invitations
+should be issued in their joint names.
+
+When the host is a widower, or a bachelor, they should be issued in his
+name.
+
+Invitations issued by officers, members of hunt committees, bachelors,
+etc., to their balls, either request the pleasure or the honour of Mrs.
+----'s company; but this formula should not be used by ladies when
+issuing invitations; the "at home" card should simply bear the word
+"Dancing" on the bottom of the card, the hour and date filled in in the
+allotted space, the name of the guest written at the top of the card.
+
+In the case of a written invitation, it would be correct to use the
+words "ball" or "dance" when alluding to the entertainment about to be
+given, in a friendly note.
+
+A lady or gentleman might ask for an invitation for his or her friend to
+a ball given by an acquaintance, although the acquaintanceship were of a
+slight character; but a lady or gentleman should not ask for an
+invitation to a ball if unacquainted with the giver of it. The fact of
+mutual friends having received invitations to a ball gives no claim upon
+the hospitality of a stranger, therefore such requests are inadmissible.
+
+The proper course for a person to pursue in the event of desiring an
+invitation to a ball given by some one with whom he or she is
+unacquainted, is to request some mutual friend to obtain one; and this
+course is always followed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Cards should be left= by the guests present at a ball within the
+current week if possible. (See Chapter III.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gratuities= should never be given by the guests to the servants of the
+house where a ball is given.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=State Balls.=--Two State Balls are annually given at Buckingham Palace
+during the London season by command of His Majesty. Invitations are
+issued by the Lord Chamberlain, but His Majesty previously revises the
+list.
+
+When ladies and gentlemen attend a State Ball at Buckingham Palace they
+make their way to the ball-room _unannounced_; and there is no official
+reception accorded to them, either by "Royalty" or by the Lord
+Chamberlain.
+
+Dancing does not commence until the arrival of the royal party, when the
+guests rise and remain standing while the Royal Quadrille--with which
+the ball opens--is being danced.
+
+The King and Queen act as host and hostess on these occasions, but
+confine their attentions to those with whom they are personally
+acquainted.
+
+Ladies attending a State Ball at Buckingham Palace should wear the usual
+full evening dress; but they should not wear Court trains, or plumes, or
+lappets.
+
+Gentlemen attending State Balls should wear uniform or full Court
+dress--dress coat, breeches and silk stockings, shoes and buckles;
+trousers can only be worn as part of a uniform, and not with a Court
+dress as generally worn at a levée.
+
+A gentleman intending to dance should remove his sword, otherwise he
+should not do so.
+
+When the Court is in mourning, ladies attending a State Ball should wear
+mourning according to the official notice which duly appears in the
+_Gazette_.
+
+Gentlemen should wear crape on the left arm, which is supplied in the
+cloak-room of the Palace to those who have forgotten to provide
+themselves with it, as it is imperative, when the Court is in mourning,
+that a band of crape should be worn at either State Ball or State
+Concert.
+
+The balls given by the princes and princesses of the blood royal are not
+State Balls, therefore Court dress is not worn by the gentlemen present.
+
+They act as host and hostess at the balls given by them and receive
+their guests, shaking hands with them as they are announced.
+
+Ladies and gentlemen do not take their cards of invitation with them to
+Buckingham Palace.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+DINNER GIVING AND DINING OUT
+
+
+=Dinner= giving is perhaps the most important of all social observances,
+therefore dinner parties rank first amongst all entertainments.
+
+Dinner giving is so thoroughly understood to rest upon the principle of
+an equivalent, that those who do not give dinners hardly come within the
+category of diners out. This rule, however, is open to many exceptions
+in favour of privileged individuals, popular and prominent members of
+society whose presence at dinner parties is appreciated and welcomed in
+most circles.
+
+Dinner-parties are of more frequent occurrence, and are of more social
+significance, than any other form of entertainment.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Dinner Invitations.=--An invitation to dinner conveys a greater mark of
+esteem, or friendship and cordiality, towards the guest invited, than is
+conveyed by an invitation to any other social gathering, it being the
+highest compliment, socially speaking, that is offered by one person to
+another. It is also a civility that can be readily interchanged, which
+in itself gives it an advantage over all other civilities.
+
+The orthodox dinner giver must necessarily possess a certain amount of
+wealth, and wealth and wit do not always go hand in hand. Oftener than
+not, the former rather overweights the latter; hence, the introduction
+of a lighter element in the form of amusing people whose _métier_ in
+life it is to be amusing and to appear amused.
+
+Dinner giving is in itself not only a test of the position occupied in
+society by the dinner giver, but it is also a direct road to obtaining a
+recognized place in society. A means of enlarging a limited acquaintance
+and a reputation for giving good dinners is in itself a passport to
+fashionable society. Dinner giving, in the fullest sense of the word, is
+a science not easily acquired, so much depending on the talent which the
+host or hostess may possess for organizing dinner-parties.
+
+When a large dinner-party is contemplated, it is usual to give three
+weeks' notice, but of late this notice has been extended to four, five,
+and even six weeks.
+
+Diners out are rather inclined to rebel against this innovation,
+considering that an invitation bearing the date of a month hence pledges
+them to remain in town, and as it were controls their movements, for the
+acceptance of an invitation is in the eyes of diners out a binding
+obligation; only ill-health, family bereavement, or some all-important
+reason justifies its being set on one side or otherwise evaded.
+
+Those inconsiderate enough to make trivial excuses at the last moment
+are not often retained on the dinner-list of a host or hostess.
+
+Dinner invitations are issued in the joint names of host and hostess.
+
+The master of the house occupies a prominent position amongst his
+guests, when dispensing hospitality as a "dinner giver."
+
+From five to ten days' notice is considered sufficient for invitations
+to small and unceremonious dinner-parties.
+
+Printed cards are in general use in town for issuing dinner invitations,
+and can be purchased from any stationer; these cards only require to be
+filled in with the names of host and hostess and guests, date, hour, and
+address. The united names of the host and hostess should be written in
+the space left for that purpose. Thus, "Mr. and Mrs. A.," and the name
+or names of the guests in the next vacant space.
+
+When invitations are issued for small dinner-parties, it is more usual
+to write notes than to make use of printed cards.
+
+Acceptances or refusals of dinner invitations should be sent with as
+little delay as possible after the invitations have been received. It is
+a want of courtesy on the part of a person invited not to do so, as a
+hostess is otherwise left in doubt as to whether the person invited
+intends dining with her or not, and is consequently unable to fill up
+the vacant place with an eligible substitute; thus rendering her
+dinner-party an ill-assorted one.
+
+An answer to an invitation cannot be solicited in a subsequent note; it
+is therefore incumbent upon the invited person to dispatch an answer
+within a day or two at least. Dinner invitations are either sent by post
+or by a servant, and the answers are also conveyed in a like manner.
+
+Dinner invitations are invariably sent out by the hostess.
+
+It is not usual in town to invite more than three members of one family;
+it is now the custom to ask young ladies with their parents to
+dinner-parties.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Receiving Dinner-Guests.=--The guests should arrive within fifteen
+minutes of the hour named on the invitation card.
+
+On no occasion is punctuality more imperative than in the case of dining
+out; formerly many allowed themselves great latitude in this respect,
+and a long wait for the tardy guests was the result. A host and hostess
+frequently waited over half an hour for expected guests. But now
+punctuality has become the rule in the highest circles, and dinner is
+served within twenty minutes of the arrival of the first guest. In
+general, people much given to dining out make a point of arriving in
+good time; but there are many in society who presume upon their
+position, and are proverbially unpunctual, knowing that in the height of
+the season a hostess would wait half an hour rather than sit down to
+dinner without them; but this want of consideration soon becomes known
+in their different sets, and is always taken into account when "their
+company is requested at dinner."
+
+In France, it is not the rule, or the custom, to wait dinner for late
+arrivals, and the dinner is served punctually to the hour named in the
+invitation.
+
+The dinner-hour varies from eight to nine, although perhaps 8.30 is the
+most usual hour. In the country it ranges from 7.30 to 8.30.
+
+Punctuality on the part of the guests enables the hostess to make any
+introductions she may consider advisable before dinner is served.
+
+The host and hostess should be in readiness to receive their guests in
+the drawing-room at the hour specified on the card.
+
+On arrival, a lady should take off her cloak in the cloak-room, or
+should leave it in the hall with the servant in attendance, before
+entering the drawing-room.
+
+A gentleman should leave his overcoat and hat in the gentlemen's
+cloak-room, or in the hall.
+
+At large dinner-parties, the butler is stationed on the staircase, and
+announces the guests as they arrive. At small dinner-parties, or where
+only one man-servant is kept, the servant precedes the guest or guests
+on their arrival, to the drawing-room. The guests should then give their
+names to the servant, that he may announce them.
+
+A lady and gentleman, on being announced, should not enter the
+drawing-room arm-in-arm or side by side. The lady or ladies, if more
+than one, should enter the room in advance of the gentleman, although
+the servant announces "Mr., Mrs., and Miss A."
+
+The host and hostess should come forward and shake hands with each guest
+on arrival. The ladies should at once seat themselves, but gentlemen
+either stand about the room and talk to each other, or sit down after a
+wait of some minutes.
+
+When a lady is acquainted with many of the guests present, she should
+not make her way at once to shake hands with all, but should make an
+opportunity to do so in an unobtrusive manner; it would be sufficient to
+recognise them by a nod or a smile in the mean time. A lady should bow
+to any gentleman she knows, and he should cross the room to shake hands
+with her at once if disengaged.
+
+At a small dinner-party, where the guests are unacquainted, the hostess
+should introduce the persons of highest rank to each other; but at a
+large dinner-party, she would not do so, unless she had some especial
+reason for making the introduction.
+
+In the country, introductions at dinner-parties are far oftener made
+than in town.
+
+Precedency is strictly observed at all dinner-parties. (See Chapter V.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Sending Guests in to Dinner.=--The host should take the lady of highest
+rank present in to dinner, and the gentleman of highest rank should take
+the hostess. This rule is absolute, unless the lady or gentleman of
+highest rank is related to the host or hostess, in which case his or her
+rank would be in abeyance, out of courtesy to the other guests.
+
+A husband and wife, or a father and daughter, or a mother and son,
+should not be sent in to dinner together.
+
+A host and hostess should, if possible, invite an equal number of ladies
+and gentlemen. It is usual to invite two or more gentlemen than there
+are ladies, in order that the married ladies should not be obliged to go
+in to dinner with each other's husbands only. Thus, Mrs. A. and Mr. B.,
+Mr. B. and Mrs. A., Mrs. B. should be taken in to dinner by Mr. C., and
+Mr. A. should take Mrs. G., and so on.
+
+When ladies are in a majority at a dinner-party to the extent of two or
+three, the ladies of highest rank should be taken in to dinner by the
+gentlemen present, and the remaining ladies should follow by themselves;
+but such an arrangement is unusual and undesirable, though sometimes
+unavoidable when the dinner-party is an impromptu one, for instance, and
+the notice given has been but a short one.
+
+If there should be one gentleman short of the number required, the
+hostess frequently goes in to dinner by herself, following in the wake
+of the last couple.
+
+The usual mode of sending guests in to dinner is for the host or hostess
+to inform each gentleman, shortly after his arrival, which of the ladies
+he is to take in to dinner.
+
+No "choice" is given to any gentleman as to which of the ladies he would
+prefer taking in to dinner, it being simply a question of precedency.
+
+Should any difficulty arise as to the order in which the guests should
+follow the host to the dining-room, the hostess, knowing the precedency
+due to each of her guests, should indicate to each gentleman when it is
+his turn to descend to the dining-room. He should then offer his arm to
+the lady whom the host had previously desired him to take in to dinner.
+
+Dinner is announced by the butler or man-servant.
+
+When the guests have arrived, or when the host desires dinner to be
+served, he should ring or inform the servant accordingly.
+
+On dinner being announced, the host should give his right arm to the
+lady of highest rank present, and, with her, lead the way to the
+dining-room, followed by the lady second in rank, with a gentleman
+second in rank and so on. The gentleman of highest rank present should
+follow last with the hostess.
+
+When the second couple are about to leave the drawing-room, the hostess
+frequently requests each gentleman in turn to follow with a lady
+according to the precedency due to each. Thus, "Mr. A., will you take
+Mrs. B.?" This also answers the purpose of an introduction, should the
+couple be unacquainted with each other, and the hostess has not found
+an opportunity of introducing them to each other on their arrival.
+
+When a case of precedency occurs, in which either the lady or gentleman
+must waive their right of precedence, that of the gentleman gives way to
+that of the lady. (See Chapter V.)
+
+A gentleman should offer his right arm to a lady on leaving the
+drawing-room.
+
+Ladies and gentlemen should not proceed to the dining-room in silence,
+but should at once enter into conversation with each other. (See the
+work entitled "The Art of Conversing.")
+
+On entering the dining-room the lady whom the host has taken in to
+dinner should seat herself at his right hand. On the Continent this
+custom is reversed, and it is etiquette for the lady to sit at the left
+hand of the gentleman by whom she is taken in to dinner.
+
+The host should remain standing in his place, at the bottom of the
+table, until the guests have taken their seats, and should motion the
+various couples as they enter the dining-room to the places he wishes
+them to occupy at the table. This is the most usual method of placing
+the guests at the dinner-table. When the host does not indicate where
+they are to sit, they sit near to the host or hostess according to
+precedency.
+
+The host and hostess should arrange beforehand the places they wish
+their guests to occupy at the dinner-table.
+
+If a host did not indicate to the guests the various places he wished
+them to occupy, the result would probably be that husbands and wives
+would be seated side by side, or uncongenial people would sit together.
+
+The custom of putting a card with the name of the guest on the table in
+the place allotted to each individual guest is frequently followed at
+large dinner-parties, and in some instances the name of each guest is
+printed on a menu and placed in front of each cover.
+
+The host and the lady taken in to dinner by him should sit at the bottom
+of the table. He should sit in the centre at the bottom of the table and
+place the lady whom he has taken down at his right hand. The same rule
+applies to the hostess. She should sit in the centre at the top of the
+table, the gentleman by whom she has been taken in to dinner being
+placed at her left hand.
+
+The lady second in rank should sit at the host's left hand.
+
+Each lady should sit at the right hand of the gentleman by whom she is
+taken in to dinner.
+
+It is solely a matter of inclination whether a lady and gentleman, who
+have gone in to dinner together, converse with each other only, or with
+their right-and left-hand neighbours also, but they usually find some
+topic of conversation in common, otherwise a dinner-party would prove
+but a succession of _tête-à-tête_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Menus= are placed the length of the table, on an average one to two
+persons or occasionally one to each person, and the menu cards are
+elaborate or simple, according to individual taste, and are purchased
+printed for the purpose, having a space for the names of the dishes to
+be filled in, which is usually done by the mistress of the house, unless
+the establishment is on a large scale, it being usual to write them out
+in French.
+
+Fanciful menu holders are much in use.
+
+The use of menus would be pretentious at a small dinner-party when there
+is but little choice of dishes; but when there is a choice of dishes a
+menu is indispensable.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Usual and Fashionable Mode of serving Dinner= is called _Dîner à la
+Russe_, although at small or friendly dinners the host sometimes prefers
+to carve the joint himself in the first course, and the birds in the
+second course. But dinner-tables, whether for dining _à la Russe_, or
+for dining _en famille_, are invariably arranged in the same style, the
+difference being merely the extent of the display made as regards
+flowers, plate and glass, which are the accessories of the dining-table.
+
+When the host helps the soup, a small ladleful for each person is the
+proper quantity; a soup-plate should not be filled with soup.
+
+When the party is a small one, and the joints or birds are carved by the
+host, the portions should be handed to the guests in the order in which
+they are seated, although occasionally the ladies are helped before the
+gentlemen.
+
+The rule at all dinner-parties is for the servant to commence serving by
+handing the dishes to the lady seated at the host's right hand, then to
+the lady seated at the host's left hand, and from thence the length of
+the table to each guest in the order seated, irrespective of sex.
+
+Double _entrées_ should be provided at large dinner-parties, and the
+servants should commence handing the dishes at both sides of the table
+simultaneously.
+
+_Dîner à la Russe_ is the Russian fashion introduced into society many
+years ago. The whole of the dinner is served from a side-table, no
+dishes whatever being placed on the table save dishes of fruit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Dinner-table Decorations.=--As regards the most correct style of
+dinner-table decorations, they offer great diversity of arrangement.
+
+High centre pieces and low centre pieces. Low specimen glasses placed
+the length of the table and trails of creepers and flowers laid on the
+table-cloth itself are some of the prevailing features of the day, but
+table decorations are essentially a matter of taste rather than of
+etiquette, and the extent of these decorations depends very much upon
+the size of the plate chest and the length of the purse of the dinner
+giver.
+
+The fruit for dessert is usually arranged down the centre of the table,
+amidst the flowers and plate. Some dinner-tables are also adorned with a
+variety of French conceits besides fruit and flowers; other
+dinner-tables are decorated with flowers and plate only, the dessert not
+being placed on the table at all; but this latter mode can only be
+adopted by those who can make a lavish display of flowers and plate in
+the place of fruit.
+
+As regards lighting the dinner table. Electric light is now in general
+use in town, and more or less in the country when possible. When not
+available, lamps and wax candles are used as heretofore. The shades in
+use should be carefully chosen as they add greatly to the comfort of the
+guests and to the success of the lighting. Silver candlesticks are often
+fitted with small electric lamps, and handsome silver lamps are brought
+into use in a similar manner for the dinner table.
+
+The term "cover" signifies the place laid at table for each person. It
+consists of a table-spoon for soup, fish knife and fork, two knives, two
+large forks, and glasses for wines given. For such arrangements see
+chapter "Waiting at dinner" in the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+Sherry is always drunk after soup, hock with the fish after the soup.
+Champagne is drunk immediately after the first _entrée_ has been served,
+and during the remainder of dinner until dessert. Claret, sherry, port,
+and Madeira are the wines drunk at dessert, and not champagne, as it is
+essentially a dinner wine. When liqueurs are given they are handed after
+the ices.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Dinner-table Etiquette.=--Soup should be eaten with a table-spoon and
+not with a dessert-spoon, it would be out of place to use a
+dessert-spoon for that purpose. Dessert-spoons, as their name implies,
+are intended for other purposes, such as for eating fruit-tarts,
+custard-puddings, etc., or any sweet that is not sufficiently
+substantial to be eaten with a fork.
+
+Fish should be eaten with a silver fork when possible, otherwise with a
+silver fish knife and fork.
+
+All made dishes, such as _quenelles_, _rissoles_, patties, etc., should
+be eaten with a fork only, and not with a knife and fork.
+
+For sweetbreads and cutlets, etc., a knife and fork are requisite; and,
+as a matter of course, for poultry, game, etc.
+
+In eating asparagus, a knife and fork should be used, and the points
+should be cut off and eaten with a fork as is seakale, etc.
+
+Salad should be eaten with a knife and fork; it is served on salad
+plates, which are placed beside the dinner-plates.
+
+Cucumber is eaten off the dinner-plate, and not off a separate plate.
+
+Peas should be eaten with a fork.
+
+In eating game or poultry, the bone of either wing or leg should not be
+touched with the fingers, but the meat cut close off the bone; and if a
+wing it is best to sever it at the joint, by which means the meat is cut
+off far more easily.
+
+Pastry should be eaten with a fork, but in the case of a fruit tart, a
+dessert-spoon should be used as well as a fork, but only for the purpose
+of conveying the fruit and juice to the mouth; and in the case of stone
+fruit--cherries, damsons, plums, etc.--either the dessert-spoon or fork
+should be raised to the lips to receive the stones, which should be
+placed at the side of the plate; but when the fruit stones are of larger
+size, they should be separated from the fruit with the fork and spoon,
+and left on the plate, and not put into the mouth; and whenever it is
+possible to separate the stones from the fruit it is best to do so.
+
+Jellies, blancmanges, ice puddings, etc., should be eaten with a fork,
+as should be all sweets sufficiently substantial to admit of it.
+
+When eating cheese, small morsels of the cheese should be placed with
+the knife on small morsels of bread, and the two conveyed to the mouth
+with the thumb and finger, the piece of bread being the morsel to hold,
+as cheese should not be taken up in the fingers, and should not be eaten
+off the point of the knife.[3]
+
+The finger-glass should be removed from the ice-plate and placed on the
+left-hand side of the dessert-plate. When ices are not given, the
+d'oyley should be removed with the finger-glass and placed beneath it.
+
+When eating grapes, the half-closed hand should be placed to the mouth,
+and the stones and skins allowed to fall into the fingers, and placed on
+the side of the plate. Some persons bend the head so as to allow of the
+stones and skins of the grapes falling on the side of the plate; but
+this latter way is old-fashioned, and seldom followed. Cherries and
+other small stone-fruit should be eaten in the way grapes are eaten,
+also gooseberries.
+
+When strawberries and raspberries, etc., are not eaten with cream, they
+should be eaten from the stalks; when eaten with cream, a dessert-spoon
+should be used to remove them from the stalks. When served in the
+American fashion without stalks, both fork and spoon should be used.
+
+Pears and apples should be peeled and cut into halves and quarters with
+a fruit-knife and fork, as should peaches, nectarines, and apricots.
+
+Melons should be eaten with a spoon and fork.
+
+Pines with knife and fork.
+
+The dessert is handed to the guests in the order in which the dinner has
+been served.[4]
+
+When the guests have been helped to wine, and the servants have left the
+dining-room, the host should pass the decanters to his guests,
+commencing with the gentleman nearest to him.
+
+It is not the fashion for gentlemen to drink wine with each other either
+at dinner or dessert, and the guest fills his glass or not, according to
+inclination.
+
+Ladies are not supposed to require a second glass of wine at dessert,
+and passing the decanters is principally for the gentlemen. If a lady
+should require a second glass of wine at dessert, the gentleman seated
+next to her would fill her glass; she should not help herself to wine.
+After the wine has been passed once around the table, or about ten
+minutes after the servants have left the dining-room, the hostess should
+give the signal for the ladies to leave the dining-room, by bowing to
+the lady of highest rank present, seated at the host's right hand. She
+should then rise from her seat, as should all the ladies on seeing her
+do so.
+
+The gentlemen should rise also, and remain standing by their chairs
+until the ladies have quitted the room, which they should do in the
+order in which they have entered it, the lady of highest rank leading
+the way, the hostess following last.
+
+The host, or the gentleman nearest the door, should open it for the
+ladies to pass out, and close it after them.
+
+When the ladies have left the dining-room, the gentlemen should close up
+as near to the host as possible, so as to render conversation general.
+
+The wines usually drunk by gentlemen after dinner are claret of a fine
+quality, and port.
+
+The ladies on leaving the dining-room return to the drawing-room. Coffee
+should be almost immediately brought to the drawing-room. The
+coffee-cups containing coffee should be brought on a silver salver, with
+a cream-jug and a basin of crystallised sugar.
+
+In large country houses coffee is sometimes brought in a silver
+coffee-pot, and the lady would then pour out her own coffee, the servant
+holding the salver the meanwhile.
+
+Coffee should be taken a few minutes later to the dining-room, and
+either handed to the gentlemen, or placed on the table, that they may
+help themselves (see the work previously referred to).
+
+A very general plan is, after the wine has gone round once or twice, for
+the host to offer cigarettes, which are smoked before the gentlemen join
+the ladies in the drawing-room.
+
+After coffee, the gentleman of highest rank should leave the dining-room
+first. The host would not propose an adjournment to the drawing-room,
+until he observed a wish to do so on the part of his guests, but there
+is no hard and fast rule on this head.
+
+It is not now the fashion for gentlemen to sit over their wine beyond
+fifteen or twenty minutes at the utmost, instead of as formerly, from
+three-quarters of an hour to an hour, a change much appreciated by
+hostesses.
+
+On the Continent the gentlemen accompany the ladies to the drawing-room,
+and do not remain in the dining-room as in England.
+
+The gentleman of highest rank present could suggest an adjournment to
+the drawing-room within a quarter of an hour if he thought proper to do
+so. If the other guests were engaged in a discussion in which he did not
+wish to take part, having suggested the adjournment, he could leave the
+dining-room to join the ladies in the drawing-room; but as a rule, the
+gentlemen leave the dining-room together, the host following last.
+
+The host should ring the dining-room bell before leaving the room, as an
+intimation to the butler that the gentlemen have left the room.
+
+At ceremonious dinner-parties in town neither music nor cards are
+introduced during the usual half-hour passed in the drawing-room before
+the hour for departure.
+
+At country-house dinner-parties music or round games of cards are in
+request.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Departure after Dinner.=--There is no rule as to the order in which the
+guests should take their leave. Half-past ten is the usual hour for
+general departure; and the butler announces the several carriages as
+they arrive to the guests in the drawing-room. But if any lady wished to
+inquire if her carriage had arrived, she should ask the hostess's
+permission to do so; and the bell would be rung for the purpose of
+making the enquiry. The same remark applies to ordering a cab: the lady
+should ask the hostess if one might be ordered for her.
+
+The hostess should shake hands with all her guests on their departure,
+rising from her seat to do so.
+
+Each guest on departure should shake hands with both host and hostess.
+
+If, on leaving the room, acquaintances should pass each other, they
+should wish each other good-night, but they should not make the tour of
+the rooms for the purpose of so doing.
+
+The host should conduct one or two of the principal of his lady guests
+to their carriages.
+
+The ladies should put on their cloaks in the cloak-room, the host
+waiting in the hall meanwhile.
+
+A gentleman related to the host or hostess, or a friend of the family,
+could offer to conduct a lady to her carriage if the host were otherwise
+engaged.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gratuities= should never be offered by the guests at a dinner-party to
+the servants in attendance. Gentlemen should not offer fees to the
+men-servants, neither should ladies to the lady's-maid in attendance.
+
+The guests should call on the hostess within a week or ten days after a
+dinner-party. If "not at home," a married lady should leave one of her
+own cards and two of her husband's; a widow should leave one of her own
+cards; a bachelor or a widower should leave two cards.
+
+The rule as to calling after dinner-parties is greatly relaxed between
+intimate friends, and the call often omitted altogether; and this more
+particularly as regards gentlemen, whose occupations during the day are
+considered good and sufficient reasons for not calling.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Country Dinner-parties.=--In the country, new acquaintances, if
+neighbours, should be asked to dinner within a month of the first call
+if possible, and the return invitation should be given within the
+following month.
+
+When guests are assembled at a country house, they are sent in to
+dinner, on the first evening, according to their individual precedence;
+but on subsequent evenings the gentlemen frequently draw lots to decide
+which lady they shall have the pleasure of taking in to dinner,
+otherwise a lady and gentleman would go in to dinner together five or
+six consecutive times, according to the length of the visit, but this is
+more a practice with people who march with the times, than with what are
+termed "old-fashioned people."
+
+When a party is varied by additional dinner-guests each evening, drawing
+lots gives way to precedency, it being too familiar a practice to be
+adopted at a large dinner-party.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Saying Grace=, both before and after 'dinner,' is a matter of feeling
+rather than of etiquette. It used to be very much the custom to say
+"grace," but of late years it is oftener omitted than not, especially at
+large dinner-parties in town.
+
+In the country, when a clergyman is present, he should be asked to say
+grace. When grace is said by the host, it is said in a low voice, and in
+a very few words; the guests inclining their heads the while.
+
+It was no rapid revolutionary change in manners that brought about the
+difference that now exists between the Elizabethan and present eras; no
+polished mentor came forward to teach that it was not the nicest and
+cleanest to do, to put knives into the salt, to dip fingers into
+plates, or to spread butter with the thumb; on the contrary, these
+things righted themselves little by little, step by step, until the
+present code of manners was arrived at. But it is quite possible that a
+hundred years hence it will be discovered that the manners of the
+present century offered wide scope for improvement.
+
+In the meantime these rules of etiquette observed in society are adhered
+to and followed by those who do not wish to appear singular, eccentric,
+old-fashioned, unconventional, or any other adjective that the temper of
+their judges may induce them to apply to them for committing solecisms,
+either small or great.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Married Ladies, as a rule, dine out with their Husbands=, and do not
+accept invitations to large dinners when their husbands are unable to
+accompany them. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, and
+circumstances sometimes arise when it is greatly relaxed; but even in
+this case it would be in favour of small and friendly dinners rather
+than large ones.
+
+During any temporary absence of her husband, a lady would accept
+invitations to dine with her relatives and intimate friends, though she
+might refuse invitations to large dinners given by acquaintances; but,
+as a rule, when it is well known that the head of a house is away for
+any length of time, invitations are seldom sent to the wife by givers of
+large dinners.
+
+When young ladies are invited to dinner they accompany their father,
+mother or brother; but occasionally, when a young ladies' party is given
+by a friend of their parents', the young ladies are invited alone, and
+they should either go with their maid in a cab or by themselves in their
+father's carriage.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[3] Respecting the arrangement of the dinner table for dessert, see
+the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+[4] See the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+DINNER-TABLE ETIQUETTE
+
+
+Fashion has its freaks and its vagaries, and in relation to inanimate
+objects these freaks and vagaries are but transitory and evanescent, but
+when they touch upon manners and modes they become a conventionality and
+a custom perhaps for many a year. Changes and innovations, slight as
+they are, are more subtle than sudden, and, paradoxical as it may seem,
+they are as important as they are insignificant; still it is difficult
+to believe that fingers once did duty for forks, and that it was not
+customary for a host to supply his guests with forks, who, if fastidious
+enough to require them, were expected to bring them in their pockets.
+
+There are here and there people in society who affect a few
+eccentricities of manner, but these whims at all times take the form of
+originalities and not of vulgarities; and even then are only indulged in
+by those whose position in society is secure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards Dinner-table Etiquette.=--When a lady has taken her seat at
+the dinner-table, she should at once remove her gloves; although
+occasionally long elbow gloves are not removed during dinner, but this
+is conspicuous and inconvenient. She should unfold her serviette and
+place it on her lap. It is immaterial whether she places the bread on
+the right or left-hand side of the cover when taking it from the
+serviette.
+
+A gentleman should do the same with his serviette and bread, placing
+the one across his knees, and the other at his right or left hand.
+
+When a lady is some little time taking off her gloves, she should remove
+her serviette before doing so: otherwise a servant would offer her soup
+before she had made room for the soup-plate by removing the serviette,
+and she should decide quickly as to which of the two soups handed to her
+she will take, so as not to keep the servant waiting; and so on through
+every course throughout the dinner as regards fish, meat, etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The guests should consult the menu= on first sitting down to dinner.
+Eating soup comes first under notice. In olden days it was customary to
+drink it out of a basin. In these days no one "drinks" soup, it is
+"eaten"; whether it be mock turtle or the clearest julienne, it is eaten
+out of a soup-plate at dinner, and with a table-spoon.
+
+There is a reason for this choice of spoons; soup is nothing if it is
+not hot, and as it is the custom to give only about half a ladleful to
+each person, it is eaten quicker, and therefore hotter, with a large
+spoon than with a small one.
+
+There is also a good and sufficient reason for small quantities of soup
+being given in lieu of large ones, viz. the extent of the menu; and when
+a plateful of soup is handed to a guest accustomed to the regulation
+supply, he fears that he is expected to dine off it, and that there is
+nothing much to follow.
+
+Again, small helpings require a smaller quantity of soup to be provided,
+and a servant is less likely to spill plates containing a little soup
+than plates that are half full.
+
+At ball suppers, when soup is served in soup-plates, it is also eaten
+with a table-spoon, but not when served in small cups.
+
+Many years ago it was fashionable to eat fish with a fork and a crust of
+bread; previous to this a table-knife and fork were considered the
+proper things to use for this purpose. It was then discovered that a
+steel knife gave an unpalatable flavour to the fish, and a crust of
+bread was substituted for the knife. This fashion lasted a considerable
+time, in spite of the fingers being thus brought unpleasantly near to
+the plate, and to this day old-fashioned people have a predilection for
+that crust of bread. One evening a well-known diner-out discarded his
+crust of bread, and ate his fish with two silver forks; this notion
+found such general favour that society dropped the humble crust and took
+up a second fork. This fashion had its little day, but at length the two
+forks were found heavy for the purpose and not altogether satisfactory,
+and were superseded by the dainty and convenient little silver
+fish-knife and fork which are now in general use.
+
+Small pieces of fish should always be given, and two different sorts of
+fish should not be placed on the same plate.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When oysters are given= they precede the soup, and should be eaten with
+a dinner-fork, not with a fish-fork. In eating oysters the shell should
+be steadied on the plate with the fingers of the left hand, the oysters
+should not be cut, but should be eaten whole. Very many ladies do not
+eat oysters at dinner simply because they do not like them, while others
+refuse them under the impression that it is more ladylike not to eat
+them. Perhaps with regard to young ladies it is a taste to be acquired.
+Some men are very, if not over, fastidious, about the appetites
+displayed by ladies, and would have them reject the _entrées_ and dine
+upon a slice of chicken and a spoonful of jelly. Others, on the
+contrary, respect a good appetite as giving proof of good health and
+good digestion. There is of course a medium in all things, and as large
+dinners are ordered mainly with a view to please the palates of men with
+epicurean tastes, it is not expected that ladies should eat of the most
+highly seasoned and richest of the dishes given, but should rather
+select the plainest on the menu. This remark more particularly applies
+to young ladies and young married ladies, whilst middle-aged and elderly
+ladies are at liberty to do pretty much as they please, without
+provoking comment or even observation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=With reference to entrées=, some are eaten with a knife and fork,
+others with a fork only. All _entrées_ that offer any resistance to a
+fork require the aid of both knife and fork, such as cutlets, _filet de
+boeuf_, sweetbreads, etc., but when rissoles, patties, quenelles,
+boneless curry, _vol-au-vents_, timbales, etc., are eaten, the fork only
+should be used.
+
+In the case of the lighter _entrées_, the contact of the knife is
+supposed to militate against their delicate flavour; thus, for these
+_bonnes bouches_ the fork is all-sufficient wherewith to divide and eat
+them.
+
+The leg of a chicken, pheasant, duck, or wild duck should never be given
+to a guest save on those occasions when there are more guests present
+than there is meat from breasts and wings to offer them. Under these
+circumstances the carver is reduced to the necessity of falling back
+upon the legs of the birds, but in this case only the upper part of the
+thigh should be given, thus a guest has little difficulty in cutting the
+meat from the bone. A wing of a bird is usually given to a lady.
+Formerly it was thought a correct thing to sever the wing at the joint
+and then to cut the meat from the bone; but this requires a certain
+amount of strength in the wrist, and dexterity, should the bird not be
+in its _première jeunesse_.
+
+As regards small pigeons, golden plovers, snipe, quails, larks, etc., a
+whole bird is given to each guest, and the proper way to eat these birds
+is to cut the meat from the breast and wings and to eat each morsel at
+the moment of cutting it; the bird should not be turned over and over on
+the plate, or cut in half or otherwise dissected. The legs of Bordeaux
+pigeons are not, as a rule, eaten, and half a bird only is given, as
+there is sufficient on the wing and breast to satisfy an ordinary
+second-course appetite. When the legs of smaller birds are eaten, such
+as snipe or golden plover, the meat should be cut off as from the breast
+or wing.
+
+Young girls, as a rule, seldom eat a second course delicacy of this
+description; a little chicken or pheasant on the contrary is usually
+accepted by them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When large potatoes are served= in their skins a salad-plate should be
+handed at the same time whereon to place them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When asparagus first comes into season= it is often given in the second
+course instead of in the first, in which case it is eaten as a separate
+dish. When handed with meat or poultry it should be eaten on the same
+plate containing either.
+
+In eating asparagus, some elderly gentlemen still adhere to the fashion
+of their youth and hold the stalks in their fingers, but the younger
+generation cut off the points with a knife and fork.
+
+Seakale also is given in the second course when first in season, and
+should be eaten with a knife and fork.
+
+Mushrooms are also eaten with a knife and fork.
+
+It need hardly be said that it would be a vulgarity to eat peas with a
+knife, although those who reside abroad, or who are in the habit of
+travelling on the continent, are not unaccustomed to seeing this done by
+foreigners who are well-bred men.
+
+Artichokes are, it may be said, an awkward and untidy vegetable to eat;
+they are only given in the second course as a separate vegetable; the
+outside leaves should be removed with the knife and fork, and the inner
+leaves which surround the heart, or head of the artichoke should be
+conveyed to the mouth with the fingers and sucked dry; epicures consider
+this vegetable a dainty morsel; but at dinner-parties young ladies
+should not attempt to eat these artichokes.
+
+Savouries, when possible, should be eaten with a fork, but occasionally
+a knife also is of imperative use.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards sweets=, _compôtes_ of fruit and fruit tarts should be eaten
+with a dessert-spoon and fork, as should those dishes where juice or
+syrup prevails to the extent of rendering a dessert-spoon necessary. But
+whenever it is possible to use a fork in preference to a spoon it is
+always better to do so.
+
+Jellies, creams, blancmanges, ice puddings, etc., should be eaten with a
+fork.
+
+As a matter of course, young ladies do not eat cheese at dinner-parties.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV
+
+EVENING PARTIES
+
+
+=Evening Parties= are styled receptions or "at homes" according to the
+number of guests invited. In official and political circles they are
+invariably styled "Receptions," but when given on a smaller scale in
+general society they are styled "At Homes."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations= to evening parties should be issued on "at home" cards.
+
+The name of the person invited should be written at the top of the card
+at the right-hand corner, the words "at home" being printed beneath the
+name of the lady issuing the invitation, the day and date beneath the
+words "at home," the hour beneath the date. The address should be
+printed at the bottom of the card.
+
+When music is to be given it should be mentioned on the "at home" card,
+thus, "Music."
+
+The hour varies from 10 to 11 o'clock; in private circles 10 or 10.30 is
+the usual hour; in official circles 10.30 or 11 o'clock.
+
+When a foreign royal personage is expected, or a foreigner of
+distinction, or a personage possessing public interest, the words "To
+meet Her Serene Highness Princess D.," or "To meet Count C." should be
+written at the top of the invitation cards.
+
+When a reception or "at home" follows a dinner-party given by the
+hostess, it is not usual to provide any special amusement for the
+guests. But when an "at home" does not follow a dinner-party, it is
+usual to provide some sort of amusement for the guests, such as
+professional vocal or instrumental music.
+
+The guests are expected to arrive from half an hour to an hour of the
+time mentioned on the invitation card, although it is optional when they
+do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Receiving the Guests.=--The hostess should receive her guests at the
+head of the staircase, where she usually remains until the principal of
+her guests have arrived; while the host welcomes the guests in the
+drawing-room itself.
+
+Receptions or "at homes" usually terminate shortly before one o'clock,
+save on Saturdays, when the hour of departure is 12 o'clock precisely.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Making Introductions.=--A hostess should use her own discretion as
+regards making introductions.
+
+When a royal personage is present the most distinguished of the guests
+should be presented by the host or hostess. When a celebrity is present
+introductions should also be made; and as regards general introductions
+they should be made whenever the hostess judges it expedient to do so,
+and the principal guests when unacquainted should be introduced to each
+other when the opportunity occurs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Going in to Supper.=--The host should take the lady of highest rank in
+to supper.
+
+When a royal princess is present the host should take her in to supper.
+
+When a royal prince is present he should take the hostess in to supper.
+(See Chapter V.)
+
+It is optional whether the hostess follows with the gentleman of highest
+rank present, unless a foreign prince is present, when she should
+follow the host, and in the case of a royal prince being present she
+should precede the host.
+
+When a royal prince or princess or a serene highness is present a table
+should be set apart for the host and hostess and royal party, and any
+among the guests whom the royal visitors may desire should join them at
+supper.
+
+When the supper-room is not sufficiently large to accommodate the whole
+of the guests at the same time, the most distinguished guests should go
+in first.
+
+When the host is informed that supper is served he should tell the
+principal gentlemen present which of the ladies he wishes them to take
+into supper, and should himself lead the way with the lady of highest
+rank present.
+
+The hostess should also assist in sending the principal guests in to
+supper, and when the general company observe the move towards the
+supper-room, they should follow in the same direction.
+
+When the general company are apparently not aware that the supper-room
+is open, the hostess should ask the various gentlemen to take the ladies
+in to supper, and should herself lead the way with one of the gentlemen.
+
+When the general company find the supper-room crowded they should return
+to the drawing-room for a quarter of an hour or so; but the hostess
+should arrange for some instrumental or vocal performance to commence
+when supper is first served, so as to occupy the attention of the guests
+who remain in the drawing-room.
+
+The guests frequently do not return to the drawing-room after supper,
+but go to the cloak-room for their cloaks and wraps, and thence to their
+carriages.
+
+It is not usual to take leave of the host and hostess at receptions.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Royal Guests present.=--When a royal personage is present the host
+should conduct her to her carriage.
+
+When a foreign prince is present the host should accompany him to the
+hall door.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Tea and Light Refreshments= should be served during the evening in the
+library, or in an adjacent apartment.
+
+Supper should be served at twelve o'clock, in the dining-room, and
+should be similar in character to a ball supper.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to Bridge Parties= are issued on "at home" cards when the
+guests number upwards of forty, and on visiting cards when a lesser
+number is invited.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Invitation Form= is, "Mrs. A---- At Home" in both instances. The
+day, date, and hour are put beneath the words "at home," and "Bridge" in
+the corner of the cards opposite the address. The usual hour for holding
+these evening receptions is 9 o'clock p.m., which allows of three hours'
+play before midnight. The guests arrive very punctually, rather before
+than after the hour named on the invitation cards. The guests comprise
+an equal number of both sexes, as husbands and wives are invited
+together when both are known to be bridge players, and bachelors who do
+not disdain playing for small stakes are in great request. Also
+unmarried ladies of a certain age; not girls in their teens.
+
+Prizes are given in some houses to the conquering players. One for the
+ladies and one for the gentlemen, and occasionally a second prize for
+the second best player of either sex. This is done when playing for
+money does not commend itself to a host and hostess. The prizes consist
+for the most part of useful articles. For instance, a box of gloves, a
+box of bon-bons, a case of eau d'Cologne, a card-case, a bag purse, and
+so on, all of which are acceptable to ladies; and a box of cigars or
+cigarettes, a silver pocket-flask, a silver-mounted stick or umbrella,
+are prizes the men winners are pleased to accept.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridge Tables= at which the guests are to sit are numbered, and the
+hostess arranges by whom they are to be occupied. The names--four in
+number for each table--are written or printed with the number of the
+table upon small cards and given to the guests by the hostess on
+arrival. This is done that good players may be placed together, and to
+save confusion and loss of time in seating them at the various tables.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Refreshments= provided consist in the first instance of "coffee,"
+which is brought into the card-room or drawing-room and handed to the
+guests. No eatables are given with this after-dinner coffee. A supper is
+given either at the conclusion of the play at 12 o'clock--this being the
+more usual plan--or at 10.30, after which play is resumed for another
+hour or so; but the latter is more of a provincial custom than a town
+one, and is intended for those whose dinner hour is an early one--6.30,
+perhaps.
+
+When a supper is not given, very good light refreshments are substituted
+for it, including cups of hot soup in the winter months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Going in to Supper= is arranged as far as possible on the following
+lines, if precedence does not prevent its being carried out. The players
+at each table who are partners when supper is served go in together. The
+host leads the way with his partner, and all follow, the hostess and her
+partner going last.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Cards should be left= within a week or ten days after a reception.
+
+A married lady should leave one of her own and two of her husband's
+cards.
+
+A widow should leave one of her own cards.
+
+A bachelor or widower should leave two of his cards. (See Chapter III.)
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI
+
+WEDDINGS AND WEDDING LUNCHEONS
+
+
+=Afternoon Weddings= are invariably solemnized at 2.30 o'clock. Only
+very quiet weddings take place in the morning hours. Formerly, it was
+only the few who were in a position to obtain special licences who could
+have afternoon weddings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Marriage by "Banns"= is greatly in favour in general society. The banns
+must be published three consecutive weeks previous to the marriage in
+the parish in which the bridegroom resides, and also in that in which
+the bride resides, and both should reside fifteen days in their
+respective parishes previous to the banns being published.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Marriages by Licence.=--When a marriage is solemnised by licence the
+cost, with fees and stamps, amounts to £2. This should be obtained at
+the Faculty Office, or at the Vicar-General's Office, Doctors' Commons,
+and is available at any church in the parish where one of the parties
+has resided for fifteen days previous to the application being made for
+the licence, either in town or country.
+
+When the licence is obtained in the country through a clerical surrogate
+the cost varies, according to the diocese, from £1 15s. to £2 12s. 6d.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Special Licences= can only be obtained from the Archbishop of
+Canterbury, after application at the Faculty Office, and an especial
+reason must be given for the application, and one that will meet with
+the Archbishop's approval.
+
+The fees for a special marriage licence average £29 5s. 6d.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Fees= to the officiating clergymen vary considerably, according to
+the position and means of the bridegroom, from £1 1s. to £5 5s.
+as the inclination of the bridegroom may dictate.
+
+The fee to the verger is subject to a like variation, commencing at
+2s. 6d.
+
+All fees relating to a marriage should be defrayed by the bridegroom,
+and paid by him, or by the best man on his behalf, in the vestry of the
+church, previous to the ceremony; immediately after it, or some days
+earlier.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Etiquette observed at Weddings= is invariably the same whether the
+wedding takes place in the morning or in the afternoon, or whether it is
+a grand wedding or a comparatively small one, whether the guests number
+two hundred or whether they number twenty.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Invitations= should be issued from three weeks to a fortnight
+before the wedding-day.
+
+The wedding luncheon or wedding reception should be given by the parents
+of the bride or by her nearest relative, and the invitations should be
+issued in the names of both parents.
+
+The invitations should be issued in notes printed in ink; they are now
+seldom printed in silver. The form should be as follows: "Mr. and Mrs.
+---- request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. ----'s company at the marriage
+of their daughter Helen with Mr. John S----, at St. Peter's Church,
+Hanover Square, on Tuesday, May 8th, at 2.30 o'clock, and afterwards at
+---- Square. R.S.V.P."
+
+If a stepdaughter, it should be "at the marriage of Mrs. A----'s
+daughter Helen B----."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Wedding Presents.=--Every one who is invited to a wedding invariably
+makes the bride or bridegroom a present; it is the received rule to do
+so. Many send presents before the invitations are sent out--as soon as
+the engagement is made known, if it is not to be a long one.
+
+There is no rule as to the time before the wedding-day when the present
+should be sent; but invitations are usually sent to those who have given
+presents, even though they live at a considerable distance, and may not
+be able to attend the wedding.
+
+Wedding presents are displayed on tables of various sizes, according to
+their number, and if very numerous and valuable, it is not unusual to
+exhibit them at an afternoon tea, given for the purpose on the day
+previous to the wedding. Each present should bear the card of the giver
+attached to it. Presents of silver plate should be placed on a table
+covered with dark cloth or velvet. It is not unusual to surround the
+presents with flowers, notably roses, and this is often done by persons
+of artistic tastes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridegroom should provide= the wedding-ring and the bridal bouquet.
+
+The bouquets for the bridesmaids are also the gift of the bridegroom,
+and should be sent to them on the morning of the wedding. He is also
+expected to make a present to each bridesmaid--either a brooch, a
+locket, a bracelet, or a fan, which should either be sent the day before
+the wedding or on the morning of the wedding-day.
+
+The bridegroom should provide the motor-car to convey himself and his
+bride from the church to the house where the wedding luncheon and
+reception are to take place, and again from the house to the
+railway-station, or, if the journey is made by road, to the place of
+honeymoon; but frequently the bride's father places his own motor-car at
+the disposal of the bride and bridegroom for this purpose, especially in
+the country. The bridal carriage is the only one, according to
+etiquette, which the bridegroom is expected to provide.
+
+The invited guests should provide their own conveyances, and neither the
+bridegroom nor the bride's father are ever expected to do so. This
+should be thoroughly understood by the guests in every case.
+
+The custom of having groomsmen to support the bridegroom is now very
+general, as at royal weddings, a royal bridegroom being supported by
+from four to six groomsmen. Two of the groomsmen usually act as ushers
+and assist in seating the guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Best Man= should be a bachelor, although a married man could act in
+this capacity. He should either accompany the bridegroom to the church
+or meet him there. He should stand at his right hand during the
+ceremony--a little in the rear--and should render him the trifling
+service of handing him his hat at the close of it.
+
+He should sign the register afterwards in the vestry, and should pay the
+fees to the clergyman and to the verger, on behalf of the bridegroom,
+either before or after the ceremony, if the bridegroom does not pay them
+on arrival.
+
+The bridegroom and best man should arrive at the church before the
+bride, and await her coming, standing at the right-hand side of the
+chancel gates.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride= should be driven to the church in her father's motor-car. If
+she has a sister or sisters, and they officiate as bridesmaids, they,
+with her mother, should precede her to the church. The motor-car should
+then return to fetch the bride and her father; but when she has no
+sisters, her father generally precedes her to the church, and receives
+her at the church door, her mother accompanying her in the motor-car.
+
+The bridesmaids should arrive some little time before the bride, and
+form a line on either side of the church porch, or within the church
+doorway. The mother of the bride usually stands beside them.
+
+When the bride arrives she should take her father's right arm, or the
+right arm of her eldest brother or nearest male relative, who is deputed
+to give her away; he should meet her at the church door in the place of
+her father, and conduct her to the chancel or altar.
+
+At choral weddings the clergy and choir head the bridal procession and
+lead the way to the chancel, singing a hymn the while.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridesmaids= should follow the bride and her father up the nave of
+the church. When the number of bridesmaids is even, four, six, eight, or
+twelve; but when the number is odd, as five, seven, or nine, and three
+of them happen to be children, which is generally the case, the elder
+bridesmaids should walk "two and two," following next after the
+children.
+
+At fashionable weddings one or two little boys act as pages, and
+occasionally bear the bride's train.
+
+The head bridesmaid is generally the bride's eldest unmarried sister or
+the bridegroom's sister, and she should follow next to the bride with
+her companion bridesmaid, when children are not included in the group.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride's Mother= should follow next to the bridesmaids, and walk by
+the side of her son, or other male relative, in following them up the
+nave of the church. Ladies and gentlemen do not walk arm-in-arm at a
+wedding, but side by side.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride's Immediate Relatives= and the near relatives of the
+bridegroom should seat themselves in pews or chairs, according to the
+church in which the service is celebrated. In some churches the service
+takes place at the entrance of the chancel, and the bridal party enter
+the chancel and stand at the altar to receive the address, and the
+concluding portion of the service only is there celebrated.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridegroom's Relatives= should place themselves on entering at the
+right of the nave, thus being on the bridegroom's right hand, and seat
+themselves in pews. The relatives of the bride should place themselves
+on entering at the left of the nave, thus being on the bride's left
+hand, and seat themselves in pews or chairs. Large cards with the words
+"For the Relatives of the Bridegroom," "For the Relatives of the Bride,"
+are frequently placed in the pews to indicate where they are to sit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride= should stand at the bridegroom's left hand; the bride's
+father, or nearest male relative, should stand at her left hand, in
+order to give her away.
+
+The bridesmaids should stand immediately behind the bride in the order
+in which they pass up the church.
+
+The bride should take off her gloves at the commencement of the service
+and should give them with her bouquet to the head bridesmaid to hold.
+
+The invited guests should sit in the pews or chairs.
+
+Guests seldom take their prayer-books with them to the church to follow
+the service therefrom. The hymns sung are usually printed on leaflets,
+and placed in the pews or on the seats.
+
+The bridegroom generally wears a flower in his button-hole, as he does
+not wear a wedding favour.
+
+The other gentlemen may, as a matter of course, wear button-hole
+bouquets, if they please.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the Service is concluded=, the bride should take the bridegroom's
+left arm, and, preceded by the officiating clergyman, and followed by
+her head bridesmaids, father, mother, and the most distinguished of the
+guests, should enter the vestry, where the register should be signed by
+the bride and bridegroom, two or three of the nearest relatives, and by
+two or three of the most intimate of the friends, and principal of the
+guests, including the best man and the head bridesmaid. The bride's
+father should sign it, but it is optional whether the bride's mother
+does so or not.
+
+When the register has been signed, and those in the vestry have shaken
+hands with the bride and offered their congratulations, the bride should
+take the bridegroom's left arm and pass down the nave of the church
+followed by her bridesmaids, in the same order as they have previously
+passed up the nave.
+
+The bride and bridegroom usually leave the church without pausing to
+shake hands with many of their friends present if a reception is to
+follow.
+
+When the bride and bridegroom have driven off from the church, the
+bride's mother should be the next to follow, that she may be at home to
+receive the guests as they arrive. There is no precedence as to the
+order in which the remainder of the company leave the church; it
+entirely depends on the cleverness of their servants in getting up their
+motor-cars.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Button-hole Bouquets= of natural flowers have entirely superseded the
+old-fashioned wedding favours for both ladies and gentlemen, and are
+sometimes offered to the guests before they leave their seats at the
+conclusion of the ceremony, but not invariably so. Button-hole bouquets
+should be worn on the left side, by both ladies and gentlemen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Bride who is a Widow= should not wear a bridal veil, nor a wreath of
+orange-blossoms, nor orange-blossom on her dress.
+
+She should not be attended by bridesmaids, and wedding favours should
+not be worn by the guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=How the Invitations to the Wedding Reception of a Widow= should be
+issued depends upon individual circumstances. For instance, if a young
+widow resides with her parents, the invitations should be issued in
+their names as at her first marriage, and the form of invitation should
+be similar, save that the words "Their daughter, Mrs. A., widow of Mr.
+A." should be substituted for her christian name. If, as is very
+frequently the case, a widow resides in her own house, or if the
+marriage is to take place from an hotel, the invitations should be
+issued in her own name, and the form should be "Mrs. Cecil A. requests
+the pleasure (or the honour) of Mr. and Mrs. B.'s company at her
+marriage with Mr. Henry C., at St. George's Church on Tuesday, December
+30th, at 2.30 o'clock, and afterwards at Eaton Gardens, R.S.V.P." "The
+presence of" instead of "the company of" may be put if preferred.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is understood that a Widow should not have Bridesmaids=, but it is
+open to her to have the attendance of pages, if a wedding is to be a
+fashionable and smart one, although many ladies do not avail themselves
+of this privilege. The bridegroom should have a best man, as a matter of
+course; he may be the bride's brother if desired (the idea that this is
+not permitted is an erroneous one). A married man might be asked to act
+in the capacity of best man, there being no bridesmaids to require his
+attention, although this is seldom done, and a bachelor brother or
+friend is preferred.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Widow may be given away= by her father, uncle, brother, or even by a
+friend; indeed, it is more usual to have this support than not. At a
+first marriage "to be given away" is imperative, at a second it is
+optional; and if a widow at a quiet wedding prefers not to follow this
+custom she can do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Much Uncertainty exists as to whether a Widow should or should not
+continue to wear her First Wedding Ring= when she marries a second time.
+In point of fact there is no hard and fast rule with regard to it, and a
+widow may continue or not continue to wear it, as she feels inclined. If
+she has children, and has had some years of married life, she usually
+retains it. If she is a young widow, she is likely to remove it, and
+wear the second ring only; but when this is her intention, she should
+not cease to wear it until she has arrived at the church, and has taken
+off her gloves previous to the ceremony; but, take it all in all, it is
+more usual to wear the two wedding rings than the second one only.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Formerly, Widows considered it Imperative to be married in Widow's
+Colours=, grey or mauve, and that white was forbidden wear; but it is no
+longer so regarded, and a widow may and does wear white or cream on her
+wedding-day--not exactly a maiden bridal dress, as a tinge of colour is
+introduced. The larger number still regard pale grey or pale heliotrope
+as more suitable on the occasion of a second marriage, and doubtless
+this is so when a widow is not in her first youth. A widow may not, of
+course, wear a bridal veil; she must wear a hat or toque, white or
+coloured, as she pleases. She can have a bouquet, not of white flowers
+only, but mauve or pink, or violets, according to choice. It is quite
+permissible to have a full choral service, and for the church in which
+the ceremony is performed to be decorated with plants and flowers, but
+wedding favours should not be given to the guests at its conclusion.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Widow has a reception the Newly Married Pair should receive
+their Guests= standing together. The bride's mother, or near relative,
+could assist them in receiving. If a luncheon is to be given, they
+should lead the way to the dining-room, and sit at the head of the
+table, side by side; but if a reception tea is given, the guests might
+be sent in at the tea hour--that is to say, told that tea is going on,
+and the bride and bridegroom could follow later should the numbers be
+too great to admit of all going into the tea room at the same time.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is quite in Order for a Widow to have a Wedding Cake=, but it should
+not be decorated with orange blossoms or with white flowers, merely with
+icing and ornamentations. The display of presents at the marriage of a
+widow is, as a rule, a very restricted one. The bridegroom and the
+bridegroom's family being the principal donors, the presents are seldom
+exhibited. The exception is when a widow has made many new friends, and
+has received wedding presents from them. Presents, when made to a widow
+having a house of her own, are expected to be of substantial value, and
+there is a general reluctance felt to offering her trifles, even if
+expensive ones, such as a girl-bride would appreciate; not so a married
+lady of social standing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=On arriving at the House= where the wedding luncheon or reception is to
+be held, the gentlemen should leave their hats in the hall. The ladies
+should not remove their bonnets or hats at a wedding luncheon or
+reception, neither should the bridesmaids do so.
+
+Gentlemen should take off their gloves at wedding luncheons, but it is
+optional whether ladies do so or not.
+
+At receptions it is optional with both ladies and gentlemen whether they
+take off their gloves or not.
+
+The guests who have not already had an opportunity of speaking to the
+bride and bridegroom, on being ushered into the drawing-room, where the
+company assembles, should shake hands with them, having first gone
+through that ceremony with the host and hostess, if they have not
+already done so.
+
+Previous to luncheon being announced the bride's father or mother should
+tell the principal of the gentlemen present whom to take down to
+luncheon. But this only applies to a sit-down luncheon.
+
+At standing-up luncheons the guests are not sent in in couples, but go
+in as they please, even two or three ladies together, and little or no
+precedency, bridal or otherwise, is followed as a general rule.
+
+The luncheon should be served in the dining-room, library, or large
+marquee, as the case may be.
+
+The bride's mother and the bridegroom's mother should take precedence of
+all other ladies present on the occasion of a wedding luncheon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At strictly Family Gatherings the Guests should go in to Luncheon in
+the following order:=--The bride and bridegroom. The bride's father with
+the bridegroom's mother. The bridegroom's father with the bride's
+mother. The best man with the head bridesmaid. The remaining bridesmaids
+with the gentlemen who are to take them in to luncheon.
+
+The rest of the company should follow in the wake of the bridesmaids.
+The bride should take the bridegroom's left arm.
+
+Sitting-down luncheons and standing-up luncheons are equally
+fashionable, although the latter are far more general, and little or no
+bridal precedency is observed. When a standing-up luncheon is given,
+small tables are arranged for the convenience of the bridal party on one
+side of the room, while a long table occupies the centre of the room.
+
+When a sitting-down luncheon is given the bride and bridegroom should
+sit either at the head of a long table or at the centre of it--the bride
+at the bridegroom's left hand. The bride's father should sit next the
+bride with the bridegroom's mother. When the bride and bridegroom sit
+at the centre of the table the bridesmaids should sit opposite to them
+with the gentlemen who have taken them in to luncheon; each sitting at a
+gentleman's right hand.
+
+When the bride and bridegroom occupy the head of the table, the
+bridesmaids, with the gentlemen who have taken them in to luncheon,
+should place themselves next the parents on either side of the table,
+dividing their number into two groups.
+
+When the bride's father is dead, her eldest brother or nearest male
+relative should take his place and should take the bridegroom's mother
+in to luncheon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Wedding Breakfast= is now termed a luncheon, champagne and other
+wines take the place of tea and coffee, which beverages are not served
+until towards the end of the luncheon. At weddings which take place
+at 2.30 p.m., a luncheon is frequently given at 3, followed by a
+"tea" at 4.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Luncheon Menu= generally comprises soup, entrées both hot and cold;
+chickens, game, mayonnaises, salads, jellies, creams, etc., etc., and
+other dishes of a like character.
+
+The sweets should be placed on the table, fruit also.
+
+The entrées, etc., should be handed by the servants, the sweets should
+also be taken off the table by the men-servants and handed round in
+turn.
+
+At a standing-up luncheon the gentlemen should help the ladies and
+themselves to the various dishes on the table, as dishes are not handed
+at this description of luncheon; hot entrées and soup are not given. The
+menu is in other respects similar.
+
+The tables should be decorated with flowers at either a standing-up or a
+sitting-down luncheon. Bottles of champagne should be placed the length
+of the table at a standing-up luncheon; if not, the gentlemen should ask
+the servants in attendance for champagne for the ladies they have taken
+down, and for themselves. At a sitting-down luncheon the servants offer
+champagne to the guests in the same order in which they hand the dishes.
+
+When the sweets have been handed the bride should cut the wedding-cake.
+This she does by merely making the first incision with a knife; it
+should then be cut by the butler into small slices, and handed on
+dessert plates to the guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Health of the Bride and Bridegroom= should then be proposed by the
+most distinguished guest present, for which the bridegroom should return
+thanks. He should then propose the health of the bridesmaids, for which
+the best man should return thanks.
+
+Occasionally the gentleman of highest rank present also proposes this
+health in place of the bridegroom.
+
+The health of the bride's father and mother should be proposed by the
+bridegroom's father.
+
+It is now the custom to confine proposing healths at wedding luncheons
+within the narrowest limits. The health of the bride and bridegroom, and
+that of the bridesmaids being, in general, the only healths proposed.
+
+At standing-up luncheons and at wedding receptions, the health of the
+bride and bridegroom only is proposed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride should leave the Dining-room= immediately after the healths
+have been drunk, to change her dress for departure.
+
+The head bridesmaid should accompany her, if related to her, and the
+guests should adjourn to the drawing-room to await the bride's
+reappearance, which should not be long delayed, and the adieus should
+then be made. Leave-takings should not be prolonged more than is
+absolutely necessary.
+
+The parents should follow the bride and bridegroom into the hall, and
+adieus to them should there be made.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Old-fashioned Custom= of throwing satin slippers after the bride is
+sometimes observed, foolish as it is. It is the best man's or the head
+bridesmaid's privilege to perform this ridiculous act.
+
+When rice is thrown after a bride it should be scattered by the married
+and not by the unmarried ladies present; but the custom, like that
+of throwing the so-called "confetti," is now practically obsolete in
+good society.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Strewing the Bride's Path with Flowers= from the church to the carriage
+by village children is a custom much followed at weddings which take
+place in the country.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Honeymoon= now seldom lasts longer than a week or ten days. Many
+brides prefer spending their honeymoon in their future home, if it
+happens to be in the country, instead of making a hurried trip to Paris
+or elsewhere, or to spending it at the country house of a friend, lent
+to them for the purpose. But it is entirely a matter of individual
+feeling which course is taken.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride's Trousseau= should be marked with the initials of the name
+she is to take.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridegroom should provide= the house-linen and all other things
+appertaining to the bride's new home.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Wedding Presents= should be dispatched to the bride's residence
+immediately after the wedding, and they should at once be put into their
+several places, and not arranged for the purpose of being shown to
+visitors.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridal Wreath= should not be worn after the wedding-day. The bridal
+wreath, the bridal bouquet, and the orange blossoms from the
+wedding-cake, if treasured as mementos of the happy event, should be
+preserved in the recesses of a locked drawer in the bride's chamber, and
+not exhibited under glass shades in the drawing-room.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Precedence= should not be accorded to a bride during the first three
+months after marriage, although this old-fashioned custom is sometimes
+followed at country dinner-parties on the occasion of a bride's first
+visit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Custom of sending Wedding Cake= to friends is an exploded one, and
+only followed between near relations.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Wedding Cards= are, strictly speaking, out of date, and only sent by
+people who adhere to old-fashioned customs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Words "No Cards"= should not be inserted when the announcement of a
+marriage is sent to the newspapers; neither should the intimation be
+added that the bride and bridegroom will be "at home" on certain days.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII
+
+WEDDING RECEPTIONS
+
+
+=An Afternoon Wedding= usually takes place between 2 and 2.30 o'clock,
+and the "reception" that follows is given from 2.30 to 5, on the return
+from the church.
+
+When a wedding is a choral one the choir and clergy frequently head the
+bridal procession. This is arranged with the vicar of the church where
+the marriage is solemnized.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations= to wedding receptions are no longer issued on "at home"
+cards, but are included in the invitations to the wedding ceremony
+issued in printed notes. (See Chapter XVI.)
+
+The arrangements in the tea-room, and the refreshments given, should be
+similar to those provided at large afternoon "at homes," with the
+addition of wedding-cake and champagne.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ceremony= is, as far as possible, dispensed with as regards sending the
+guests into the tea-room, and this is a great advantage gained over a
+wedding luncheon, either a sitting-down or a standing-up one, when
+people are doubtful as to the exact place belonging to each individual
+relative.
+
+The bride and bridegroom either enter first, followed by the bridesmaids
+and a few of the principal guests, or they follow later, as they prefer.
+The remainder of the company should make their way downstairs as space
+permits, for a wedding reception is a crowded affair, even in the
+largest of mansions. Not only is every one invited who has given a
+wedding present to either bride or bridegroom, within visiting distance,
+but even others who are not intimate enough to be expected to do so.
+
+The guests should not make their way in the first instance to the
+tea-room, but should proceed at once to the drawing-room and shake hands
+with the host and hostess, and afterwards with the bride and bridegroom.
+The bride and bridegroom should stand together within the drawing-room
+and shake hands with all those with whom they are acquainted. The bride
+and bridegroom should be the first to enter the tea-room. Flowers, as a
+matter of course, are a great feature at wedding receptions.
+
+The tea and coffee should be served by the maid-servants, generally by
+the lady's maids, but men-servants should also be in attendance to open
+the champagne as required. Very little wine is drunk at this hour of the
+day. Ladies seldom care for it, and gentlemen avoid it on principle.
+Still, out of compliment to the bride, the relatives quaff a cup of
+sparkling wine, although her health is seldom proposed or speeches of
+any kind made. The bride should put the knife into the wedding-cake, and
+the butler should cut it up and hand it to the guests.
+
+Seats should not be placed in the tea-room, and the tables should occupy
+the top or side, or both the top and side, of the room, according to the
+number of guests invited, so as to leave as much space as possible in
+the centre of the room.
+
+The bride and bridegroom are not always present at a wedding tea, as the
+departure for the proposed place of honeymoon does not in every case
+admit of it, and the mother holds the "at home," and the guests inspect
+the presents after the newly-married couple have left.
+
+An "at home" is sometimes given a few days previous to the wedding for
+the inspection of the presents, if they are very numerous and beautiful;
+but even when this is done they still form a centre of interest on the
+afternoon of the wedding to the many guests. When jewellery and plate
+to any great extent form a portion of the presents, it is sometimes
+thought necessary to have a policeman on duty while the house is open to
+so many comers, and when to effect an entrance under the pretext of
+business would be an easy matter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII
+
+WEDDING EXPENSES
+
+
+=The Responsibilities of a Bridegroom= from a pecuniary point of view
+commence from the moment of his engagement. He must at once present the
+bride-elect with an engagement ring. A man of even moderate wealth finds
+no difficulty in choosing and purchasing a handsome ring costing from
+£50 to £100; but a poor man, possessing but a small income, is often
+put to more expense than he can conveniently afford in the matter of an
+engagement ring. He knows all the members of the bride's family will sit
+in judgment upon it if it is but a modest gift worth about £10, which
+is quite as much as he feels he is justified in spending; he knows that
+both it and himself will be regarded as very mean, or as conveying a not
+very inspiriting prospect of days to come. The engagement ring worn on
+the bride's finger after marriage is a lasting memento, and if a poor
+one she will not be proud of it--neither will he. Rich men take the
+brides to choose engagement rings, expense being no object to them; but
+poor men cannot do this, as the choice might fall on gems beyond their
+means, therefore they make the choice themselves, according to the
+position of the families they are about to enter. If the standing is
+above their own, from a money point of view, the engagement rings have
+to be chosen in accordance with the jewels worn by members of such
+families, and a bridegroom would thus spend £40 at least on an
+engagement ring suitable to a lady so placed. On the other hand, when
+men with small incomes marry the daughters of parents of a similar
+position to their own, the engagement rings given are not costly ones,
+and a ten-pound note, or even less, would cover the cost of these
+binding tokens. The wedding rings are within the means of all
+bridegrooms, be they ever so poor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=During the Engagement= the question of presents to the brides-elect is
+never absent from the thoughts of their bridegrooms. The wealthy please
+themselves and their brides by giving costly jewels, which are often
+chosen by the brides themselves in company with their bridegrooms. This
+is very delightful shopping, but it does not fall to the lot of the
+great majority. Men of moderate means give presents of moderate value
+and few in number; they are not bound by etiquette during their
+engagements to give any jewellery if their incomes do not warrant this
+outlay; but a man must have very little money to go upon if he cannot
+contrive to give a bracelet or necklet or some such trinket to the girl
+he is about to marry.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=To give Presents to the Bridesmaids= is another of the obligations of
+bridegrooms. Here again, the wealthy exercise their generosity and good
+taste with the concurrence of their brides, who assist them in the
+choice of suitable presents in articles of jewellery. These average £5
+and upwards for each bridesmaid, which bring it to a good total when the
+bridesmaids are numerous. The point that affects the generosity of
+bridegrooms, however, is not how much they ought to spend on these
+presents, but rather, how little may be spent upon them with due
+consideration for the fitness of things, viz. the position of the
+bridesmaids. Two sovereigns would be a reasonable sum for a man of small
+means to spend on each gift to the bridesmaid.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridal Bouquet and the Bridesmaids' Bouquets= come next on the list
+of expenses a bridegroom defrays. Rich men spend liberally in this
+direction, but average sums to give to meet ordinary incomes are two
+guineas to one guinea for a bride's bouquet, and five and twenty to
+fifteen shillings each for the bridesmaids' bouquets.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Fees connected with the Ceremony= are strictly the province of the
+bridegroom to defray. If a marriage is by licence, he pays the cost,
+which in town amounts to £2 2s. 6d., and in the country from £2
+12s. 6d. to £3 3s. The fee to the vicar of the church where the
+marriage is to be solemnised varies from £1 1s. to £5 5s.,
+oftener £1 1s. than not with the majority of bridegrooms with
+moderate incomes, the exception being £5 5s. The minor fees are very
+trifling that a bridegroom is expected to pay. He pays the organist for
+playing a wedding march at the conclusion of the service, if it is not a
+choral one; the bell-ringers look to him for their fee, as do the
+vergers, etc. Thus a bridegroom pays for what is absolutely necessary at
+the marriage ceremony only, and very little besides.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Friend of the Bride or Bridegroom performs the Ceremony= or
+assists at it a fee is not given to him by the bridegroom, but a present
+of some kind is made to him, either in silver plate or by a small
+cheque, as circumstances dictate, for railway expenses or otherwise. It
+is usual for the bridegroom to do this unless the clergyman in question
+is a relative of the bride, when a joint present is usually given by
+bride and bridegroom.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride's Parents bear a Large Share of the Wedding Expenses=,
+foremost of which is the bride's trousseau, the cost of this being
+entirely dependent on position and income. The dinners and "at homes"
+given before the marriage to introduce the bridegroom to the members of
+the bride's family are given by the bride's parents. The wedding
+reception is given by them, either at their own residence or at an
+hotel. As concerns their share of the expenses connected with the
+ceremony, it depends upon whether the wedding is to be a smart one or a
+quiet one. If the former, the expenses that fall to them are somewhat
+considerable; if the latter, they are almost nil. A choral service, for
+instance, is paid for by the bride's parents, the organist, choirmaster,
+and choir all being severally paid by them. If the hymns sung are
+printed on leaflets this trifling expense also is included. All floral
+decorations are paid for by the bride's parents, as is the hire of the
+awning and the red felt at the church doors. When wedding favours or
+buttonholes are given it is by them also.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For whom the Bride's Family are expected to provide Conveyances is
+invariably a Misunderstood Detail.=--The bride's father has only to
+provide carriages or cars to convey himself and bride to the church, and
+for those members of his family residing under his roof, and for
+visitors staying with him for the wedding. He is not required to provide
+them for any other of the guests, save in the country, and then only for
+those who arrive by train at a roadside station and cannot obtain
+conveyances for themselves. In town the bridegroom has to provide the
+motor-car to convey himself and bride from the church to her father's
+house, and afterwards to the station. In the country the reverse is the
+case, and the bride's father does this by lending one of his own
+carriages or cars for the purpose.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridegroom is expected to provide the Furniture= and all household
+effects for the new home, including plate and linen, which latter
+naturally form very important items. Many of the bridal presents,
+however are made to lighten these expenses, and consist of plate to a
+great extent, and occasionally of linen also, from the members of the
+bride's family; still, the rule in England is that the bridegroom should
+provide it as part of the necessaries of the home, and the gift of it by
+relatives is altogether optional.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIX
+
+AFTERNOON "AT HOMES"
+
+
+=Afternoon "At Homes"= are a great feature amongst the entertainments of
+the day, large afternoon parties, and small afternoon parties; parties
+so large that the number of guests equals those at a big crush or
+evening reception, and so small that they might fairly come under the
+denomination of afternoon teas.
+
+At afternoon "at homes," ladies are present in a considerable majority,
+there being usually from about ten gentlemen to thirty ladies on an
+average present at these gatherings. Ladies have a decided partiality
+for this class of entertainment, as it affords an opportunity for
+meeting their friends and acquaintances, or for making new
+acquaintances, and for forming future plans and interchanging
+civilities; and even in the height of the London season, afternoon "at
+homes" are fully attended by the members of the fashionable world.
+
+There are various classes of afternoon "at homes": the large "at home"
+of from fifty to two hundred guests, when usually professional vocal and
+instrumental talent is engaged, and fairly good music given, although
+the entertainment is not of sufficient importance to be termed a
+concert; the "at home" of from fifty to a hundred guests when only
+amateur talent is in requisition; and the small "at home" of from ten to
+thirty people, when conversation usually takes the place of music, the
+party being composed of friends rather than of acquaintances.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to "At Homes"= should be issued in the name of the
+hostess only, and not in the united names of the master and mistress
+of the house.
+
+Invitations should be issued on "at home" cards, large and small, and
+also on visiting cards. The name of the person invited should be written
+at the top of the card at the right-hand corner, the words "at home"
+being printed beneath the name of the lady issuing the invitation, and
+the day and date beneath the words "at home," and the hour beneath the
+date. Any amusement to be given should be added at the bottom of the
+card at the left-hand corner. The address should be printed at the
+right-hand corner at the bottom of the card.
+
+The letters R.S.V.P. are occasionally either written or printed on the
+"at home" card, at the left-hand corner of the bottom of the card, but
+it is not usual to write "R.S.V.P." in the corner of an afternoon "at
+home" card, as it is immaterial how many guests are present at this
+class of entertainment; but if an answer is so requested, an answer
+should be sent. R.S.V.P. signifies "_répondez, s'il vous plaît_," or "an
+answer is requested."
+
+It is customary to include the head of the family, either husband or
+father, in the invitation. Thus, at the top of the card, at the
+right-hand corner should be written "Mr. and Mrs. A.," or "Mr. and Miss
+A." The daughters of the house should be included in the invitation sent
+to their mother. Thus "Mr. and Mrs. A.," "The Misses A.," but the sons
+of the house should be invited separately.
+
+When a family consists of a mother and daughters, the invitation should
+be "Mrs. and the Misses A."
+
+The title of "Honourable" should not be put on an invitation card, but
+only on the envelope containing the card.
+
+All other titles are recognised on invitation cards; but the letters
+K.C.B., M.P., etc., should not be written on the cards, but only on the
+envelopes in which they are enclosed.
+
+If a lady is aware that she will be unable to be present, it would be
+polite to send her excuses, although strict etiquette does not demand
+it; both the invitation and the answer can in all cases be sent by post.
+
+It is not now considered necessary to leave cards after afternoon
+"at homes."
+
+Invitations to large afternoon "at homes" should be issued a fortnight
+previous to the day, and to small "at homes" within a week or so of
+the day.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Arrival of Guests.=--When invited guests arrive, they should not
+inquire if the hostess is at home, but at once enter the house; and they
+should be ushered at once into the tea-room.
+
+The gentlemen should leave their hats and overcoats in the hall.
+
+At large "at homes" a cloak-room should be provided, so that a lady
+could remove a cloak or fur-cape, usually worn during the winter
+weather; but at small "at homes" a cloak-room is not necessary, as the
+reception-rooms are neither so crowded nor so warm, neither are the
+ladies' toilettes so elaborate.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Refreshments.=--At large "at homes" refreshments should be served in
+the dining-room, on a long buffet at one end of the room, or on a long
+table the length of the room.
+
+The lady's-maids and other maid-servants should stand behind the table
+to pour out and hand the cups of tea or coffee across the table as
+asked for.
+
+It is usual to have women-servants on these occasions to pour out the
+tea, a man-servant or men-servants being also in attendance, in case
+anything is required of them, although gentlemen usually help themselves
+to claret-cup, wine, etc.
+
+The usual refreshments given at these "at homes" are tea and coffee,
+the latter served from large silver urns. (See chapter "Preparing
+Afternoon Tea," in the work entitled "Waiting at Table.") Sherry,
+champagne-cup, claret-cup, ices, fruit, fancy biscuits and cakes, thin
+bread-and-butter, potted game, sandwiches, etc.
+
+Ice plates are used for ices, dessert plates for fruit and fruit salads.
+
+At small "at homes" champagne, claret-cup, and ices are not given. The
+tea should be made in teapots, instead of in urns, at both large and
+small "at homes."
+
+At small "at homes" the tea is usually served in the smaller of the two
+drawing-rooms, or in an adjoining boudoir or ante-room. The tea is then
+poured out by the young ladies of the house, or by the hostess herself,
+but seldom by maid-servants when served in the drawing-room.
+
+The most convenient manner, however, of serving tea is to serve it in
+the dining-room, unless the number of guests is limited, when it would
+appear unsociable if they were to congregate in the dining-room, leaving
+the hostess comparatively alone in the drawing-room.
+
+When tea is served in the dining-room, the guests are usually asked by
+the servant in attendance if they will have tea before being ushered
+into the drawing-room.
+
+At small teas, the cups of tea should be handed to the ladies by the
+gentlemen present, or by the young lady officiating at the tea-table,
+and gentlemen generally stand about the room, or near the tea-table, at
+small "at homes."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Receiving Guests.=--The servant should precede the guests to the
+drawing-room as in "morning calls."
+
+At large "at homes" the hostess should receive her guests at the
+drawing-room door, and shake hands with each on arrival. The
+drawing-room door should remain open, and she should stand within the
+doorway.
+
+At small teas, the drawing-room door should not remain open, and the
+hostess should receive her guests within the room, as at "morning
+calls."
+
+The guests should arrive from a quarter-past four until half-past five
+or six o'clock. The guests are not expected to remain the whole three
+hours specified, and are at liberty to remain as long or as short a time
+as they please. The earliest arrivals are generally the first to leave.
+
+When the hostess judges it expedient to do so, she introduces one or two
+of the ladies to each other, either in a formal manner (see Chapter
+II.), or in a semi-formal manner, by saying, "Mrs. A., I don't think you
+know Mrs. B."; but she should not say this unless quite certain that
+Mrs. B. desires the acquaintance of Mrs. A., or that Mrs. A. has no
+objection to knowing Mrs. B.[5]
+
+It is rather the exception than the rule to make general introductions
+on these occasions. Introductions should only be made when the hostess
+is aware that the persons introduced would be likely to appreciate each
+other, or for any reason of equal weight.
+
+The guests should go to the tea-room with any gentlemen of their
+acquaintance present, or in the case of ladies with each other, if they
+have not done so on arrival.
+
+This move to the tea-room is usually made in the intervals between
+music, recitations, etc.
+
+Occasionally, the hostess introduces one or two of the gentlemen present
+to the ladies of highest rank for the purpose of sending them into the
+tea-room.
+
+A lady should place her empty cup on any table near at hand, unless a
+gentleman offers to put it down for her. It is optional whether a lady
+removes her gloves or not, and many prefer not to do so.
+
+At large "at homes," the hostess remains at her post the whole of the
+time, and hardly ever sits down. At small "at homes," she should move
+amongst her guests, conversing with them all more or less. When there
+are daughters, they should assist their mother in entertaining the
+guests.
+
+When ladies are acquainted, they should take an opportunity of speaking
+to each other. It is usual for ladies to move about the rooms at
+afternoon "at homes" to speak to their various friends and
+acquaintances; and they are by no means obliged to remain seated in one
+spot unless desirous of doing so.
+
+When music is given at afternoon "at homes," it is usual to listen to
+the performance, or at least to appear to do so; and if conversation is
+carried on, it should be in a low tone, so as not to disturb or annoy
+the performers.
+
+It is not necessary to take leave of the hostess at afternoon "at
+homes," unless she is standing near the drawing-room door when the guest
+is passing out, or unless she is a new acquaintance, and the visit a
+first one at her house, when it would be polite to do so.
+
+When it is late, and but a few guests still remain, these few should
+make their adieus to the hostess.
+
+At these afternoon teas or "at homes," the hostess should not ring to
+order the door to be opened for the departing guest or for her motor-car
+to be called, as at "morning calls." The guests make their way to the
+hall, and the servants in attendance call up the motor-cars as they are
+asked for.
+
+Motor-cars should always be kept in waiting at afternoon "at homes," as
+ladies are sometimes unable to remain longer than a quarter of an hour.
+
+The guests either remain in the hall or in the dining-room until they
+hear their motor-cars are announced.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gratuities= should never be offered to servants at these
+entertainments, or, in fact, at any entertainment whatever.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Afternoon Concerts.=--When afternoon concerts are given, invitations
+should be issued on the usual "at home" cards, which can be purchased
+with the words "at home," etc., already printed, or they are printed to
+order, with the name and address of the hostess. The name of the person
+invited should be written above the name of the hostess at the
+right-hand corner of the card.
+
+The date under the line "at home" should be in the centre of the card
+beneath the name of the hostess; the hour should be written at the
+left-hand corner, and the letters R.S.V.P. The printed address should be
+at the right-hand corner.
+
+The names of the performers should be added at the bottom of the card at
+the right-hand corner.
+
+The hour usually fixed for a concert is 3 o'clock.
+
+The hostess should receive her guests at the drawing-room door, when
+they should at once seat themselves. The seats should be arranged in
+rows down the centre of the room, and sofas and settees should be placed
+around the room.
+
+The programme of a concert is divided into two parts, and at the
+conclusion of the first part the guests should repair to the dining-room
+for refreshments, which are served as at large "at homes."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Afternoon Dances.=--Invitations to afternoon dances should be issued on
+"at home" cards in the manner already described. "Dancing" should be
+printed in the corner of cards, and the hour of "4 to 7" o'clock
+substituted for that of "3" o'clock. The words "afternoon dance" should
+not be written on an invitation card, and there is no other received
+form of invitation for afternoon dances than the one already given.
+
+Afternoon dances are very popular at watering-places, military stations,
+small towns in the vicinity of London, etc., but are seldom given in
+London itself.
+
+Refreshments should be served during the whole of the afternoon, from 4
+to 7, as at large "at homes."
+
+The ladies should remove their jackets or wraps in the cloak-room, but
+retain their hats or bonnets; the hostess should receive her guests at
+the drawing-room door, as at an afternoon "at home."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Bridge Teas= occupy an important place in social life. They are a
+convenient form of entertainment, as they allow of a small number of
+guests being invited, even as few as eight persons being considered a
+reasonable number of players to invite, while twenty-four is distinctly
+an outside one. The average number is in most instances sixteen,
+all told.
+
+The play usually commences at 3.30, sometimes earlier, and continues
+until 7.30, allowing an interval for "tea" at 4.30.
+
+The invitations to these informal gatherings are either issued in
+friendly notes or on visiting cards. If on the latter, the words "at
+home," day, and date are written under the name of the hostess, while
+"Bridge, 3.30," or "3 o'clock" is put in the corner of the cards
+opposite the address.
+
+The hostess arranges beforehand the places the guests are to occupy at
+the different tables; this is done that the good players may play
+together. When all have arrived, the hostess tells her guests where to
+sit, and is herself one of the players. On taking their seats they cut
+for partners. She does not invite guests to look on, as it would
+necessitate her not playing, but talking to them while they remain;
+besides conversation is discouraged, as it distracts the attention of
+the players from the game.
+
+The ladies retain their hats, but remove their coats, furs, etc.,
+on arrival.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[5] See chapter "Conversing with New Acquaintances," in the work
+entitled "The Art of Conversing."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XX
+
+"AT HOME" DAYS
+
+
+=An "At Home"= day signifies that a lady is at home to her friends and
+acquaintances on one particular day in the week. She should intimate
+this fact by printing upon her visiting cards the days on which she is
+at home. Thus: "Thursdays in March," or "Thursdays in March and April,"
+or any day of the week she thinks proper to name. These cards she should
+leave in person on those who are not at home when she calls, or they can
+be sent by post. Those she finds at home she should inform that her "at
+home" day is "Thursday." She should not leave her visiting card in this
+case, only two of her husband's cards, and the "at home" day should not
+be written upon them.
+
+On the "at home" day, calls should be made from three to six, or from
+four to six. The first comers should leave before the afternoon tea hour
+and should limit their call according to the degree of intimacy
+existing, remaining from a quarter of an hour to an hour, as the
+case may be.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Hostess or her Daughter should pour out the Tea= on these "at home"
+days when tea is not served in the dining-room as at "at homes," which
+should be done when the number of visitors is very considerable.
+
+The popularity of a hostess is tested on these "at home" days by the
+number of visitors who call during the afternoon, and when "at home"
+days are not a success, socially speaking, she should discontinue them
+after a certain time, and should substitute an occasional "at home."
+
+It depends not a little on the social standing of the lady who has an
+"at home" day and upon the locality in which she lives, as to whether
+the "at home" day is a failure or the reverse. In the outlying districts
+of town it has its advantages, when to make a call amounts to almost a
+journey, and when acquaintances are few in the immediate neighbourhood.
+Again, it has its advantages when ladies are much occupied during the
+week, and when their time is given up to an engrossing occupation,
+charitable or artistic, at home or away from home, literary or
+scientific, at studios, museums and public institutions, etc., work
+undertaken for their own amusement, profit, or advancement, or for the
+benefit of others. To these ladies an "at home" day is a convenience.
+One day in the week is all they can allow themselves apart from their
+important engagements, and to them quiet privacy and leisure are
+indispensable. Fashionable ladies consider an "at home" day to be a
+great tax upon their time and inclinations. Their engagements are too
+numerous to admit of giving up one whole afternoon in every week on the
+chance of people calling. Not only longstanding but impromptu
+engagements preclude this sacrifice. It would be a breach of politeness
+not to be at home to callers on an "at home" day, and many things might
+occur to necessitate absence from home on that particular afternoon. If,
+however, absence is unavoidable, a relative might take the place of the
+hostess on the "at home" day in question.
+
+The people who thoroughly enjoy "at home" days are those who have more
+time on their hands than they know what to do with. The few calls they
+have to make are soon made, the few friends they have to see are soon
+seen, occupation they have none, and they are grateful for the
+opportunity "at home" days offer of meeting their friends and finding a
+hostess at home.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXI
+
+COLONIAL ETIQUETTE
+
+
+Generally speaking, etiquette is followed in the colonies and in India
+by English men and women very much as in the mother country as regards
+its principles, rules, and observances. One marked difference occurs in
+the hours of calling, it is true, they being regulated by climate. In
+hot climates, the early morning hours, before noon, and late evening
+hours, after sunset, are, according to the fashion of the place, the
+chosen hours for calling; but in more temperate climes--resembling our
+own--the afternoon hours are, as with us, the hours for calling. Again,
+the rule that residents should call upon new-comers, whether they be
+visitors of other residents or intending residents, holds equally good
+both in civilian and military circles alike.
+
+In all colonies and dependencies "Government House" is the centre to
+which all society gravitates--that is to say, that all new-comers,
+whether they are to become permanent or temporary residents, providing
+their social position warrants the action, hasten to make known their
+arrival by writing their names and addresses in the visitors' book kept
+at each Government House for the purpose. The object of doing this is to
+be received at Government House, and thus to obtain an entrance into the
+society of the place. What follows upon this social observance--it
+hardly merits the name of civility, such calls being actuated by
+self-interest in the first instance--depends upon a variety of
+circumstances, the position of the caller, and whether the stay is to be
+permanent or temporary, whether introductions are brought or not, and so
+on. The invitations extended to them are regulated accordingly. They may
+be limited to afternoon "at homes"; or receptions, dinners, and dances
+may be included; or a visit to the summer residence of the Governor and
+his wife may also be reckoned amongst invitations, as this latter is not
+an unusual display of hospitality accorded to certain individuals.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=How the Governor of a Colony should be addressed= by his guests depends
+upon his rank. As he represents the sovereign, it would be quite correct
+to address him as "Sir," as being the most deferential mode, and
+Governors as a body rather like to be thus addressed. In the case of a
+Governor being a knight--a very usual contingency--it would be equally
+correct to address him as "Sir George," and not as "Sir." When a
+Governor has not received knighthood, he should be addressed as "Mr.
+A----," when it is not desired to be too stiff and formal.
+
+In conversation, when referring to the Governor--he being present--it
+should not be "The Governor," but "Lord Blank," "Sir George," or "Mr.
+A---- said so and so," unless strangers are present, before whom it
+would seem right to be a little formal.
+
+In addressing a Governor by letter, the envelope should be directed to
+"His Excellency Sir George Blank," however friendly its contents may be;
+but when writing to a Governor's wife, it has not been thought right to
+style her "Her Excellency," but simply "Lady Blank," unless in the case
+of a Viceroy's wife, as in India or Ireland; but as against this the
+point was raised some years ago, and it was then decided that the wives
+of Governors were entitled to be so addressed.
+
+Colloquially, the members of a Governor's suite refer to both the
+Governor and his wife as "His" and "Her Excellency," and style them
+"Your Excellency," and all who approach them officially, being of
+inferior rank, do likewise; but socially they are seldom so addressed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Colonial Bishop= should not actually be styled "My Lord," or referred
+to as "The Lord Bishop," if it is desired to be quite correct; but "My
+Lord" or "The Lord Bishop" is now often used by persons who know it is
+not the proper style of address, but make use of these titles, wishing
+to be more deferential than scrupulously correct. In writing to a
+colonial bishop, the envelope should be addressed to "The Right Rev. the
+Bishop of ----," and the letter commenced "Right Rev. Sir" or "Dear
+Bishop Blank."
+
+A colonial officer who has received the King's special permission to
+retain the title of "Honourable" which he bore in his colony, is
+accorded at Court, _i.e._ at a levée, Court ball, etc., the same
+precedence as a peer's son, who is styled "Honourable," but this does
+not practically give him any rank or precedence at ordinary social
+gatherings, where that special grant is unknown or ignored. Also the
+privilege confers no rank or precedence upon the wife or daughters of a
+colonial Honourable, just as the wife of a Right Honourable here has no
+special precedence.
+
+The title of Honourable cannot continue to be borne by a retired
+colonial officer or Legislative Councillor unless it has been specially
+authorised by the sovereign on the recommendation of the Secretary of
+State for the Colonies.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXII
+
+INDIAN ETIQUETTE
+
+
+It is the custom that those who wish to be invited to Government House
+(Viceregal House) at Simla, or elsewhere, should, immediately on
+arrival, write their names in the visitors' book kept for that purpose,
+and they are sure, if in general society, to be asked to one or more of
+the receptions held during the season. They are introduced to the
+Vice-Queen--as the wife of the Viceroy is termed--by one of the
+_aides-de-camp_ in waiting.
+
+When a lady is the wife of a Government official, it gives her a
+position in society in India which perhaps she would not otherwise have,
+and is in itself a passport to most functions. Official rank is
+everything in India.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards attending the Viceregal Drawing-rooms=, they are only held
+in Calcutta and in the evening. If a lady has been presented at a Court
+in England, she can attend a Drawing-room in Calcutta; but, if she has
+not been presented at home, she must be introduced by some other lady
+who has been presented at the Viceregal Court.
+
+In writing unofficially to the Governor-General of India, it would not
+be correct to use the title of "Viceroy," and the proper superscription
+is "His Excellency The Right Hon."; or, if a Duke, "His Excellency The
+Duke of ----"; or, if a Marquis, "His Excellency The Most Honble.
+Marquis of ----," etc.
+
+To the wife of a Viceroy the address should be "Her Excellency the
+Duchess of ----," "Her Excellency The Marchioness of ----," "Her
+Excellency The Countess of ----"; or "Her Excellency The Lady Blank," if
+the wife of a Baron.
+
+When addressing a Viceroy or Vice-Queen colloquially or unofficially,
+"Your Excellency" should not be used in either case. The title only in
+both instances should be employed.
+
+On being introduced to either of their Excellencies, it would be correct
+to curtsy.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIII
+
+GARDEN-PARTIES
+
+
+Garden-parties are entertainments that are annually given. If the
+weather is fine, the more enjoyable it is for the guests; if wet, a
+garden-party resolves itself into a large "at home." In almost every
+county a series of garden-parties is held by the principal ladies of
+their respective neighbourhoods during August and September, nothing but
+absence from home, illness, or some equally good reason being considered
+sufficient excuse for the non-fulfilment of this social duty.
+
+The county at large expects to be invited at least once a year to roam
+about in the beautiful park of the lord of the manor, to row on the
+lake, to play lawn-tennis on the lawn, to wander through the winding
+paths of the shady, leafy shrubberies, to admire the brilliant hues of
+the geraniums bedded out on parterre and terrace, or the variegated
+asters, or the late Gloire-de-Dijon roses, which at the end of August
+are in their fullest beauty. Then there are the conservatories through
+which to saunter, and from which to beat a retreat, if the sun is too
+powerful, into the mansion itself, the reception-rooms being generally
+thrown open on the occasion of a garden-party.
+
+A garden-party is an occasion for offering hospitality to a wide range
+of guests--people whom it would not be convenient to entertain save at
+this description of gathering. Invitations are on these occasions freely
+accorded to ladies, from the energetic lady of eighty to the little lady
+of eight.
+
+One great advantage offered by a garden-party is that it is immaterial
+to what extent ladies are in the majority, and it is a reproach to a
+county rather than to a hostess if the muster of guests is eighty ladies
+against twenty gentlemen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to a Garden-party= should be issued in the name of the
+hostess, and within three weeks to a week of the date fixed. "At home"
+cards should be used for this purpose, and the words "and party" should
+be invariably added after the names of the invited guests.
+
+"Croquet" or "Tennis" should be printed in one corner of the card, the
+hour, 3 to 7 o'clock, above, the day and the date beneath the name of
+hostess. "Weather permitting" is seldom written upon the card, and the
+guests are expected to arrive even though the afternoon should be
+showery and overcast, and only a thoroughly wet afternoon, with no break
+between the showers, should prevent their appearing. In the country,
+ladies think little of a drive of ten miles to attend a garden-party.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Arrangements for Garden-Parties.=--Garden-parties or croquet-parties
+are given on different scales of expenditure, and the preparations are
+regulated accordingly.
+
+When a garden-party is given on a small scale, and the preparations are
+comparatively few, refreshments should be served in the house. (For the
+usual refreshments provided, and for the general arrangements, see work
+entitled "Waiting at Table," p. 82.)
+
+A good supply of garden-chairs and seats should be placed on the lawn
+and about the grounds, rugs spread on the grass for those who sit out,
+and several sets of croquet provided for players.
+
+At large garden-parties a band is considered a necessary adjunct, and
+the band of the regiment quartered in the vicinity is usually available
+for these occasions.
+
+A band gives _éclat_ to an out-door gathering and confers local
+importance upon it. Apart from this, the strains of a band enliven an
+entertainment of this description in no little degree. The place where
+the band is stationed is a rallying-point for the company, and the
+expense and trouble consequent upon engaging a band are repaid by the
+amusement it affords.
+
+The matter of engaging a military band is generally undertaken by the
+master of the house, rather than by the mistress, as, in the first
+place, the consent of the colonel of the regiment has to be obtained as
+a matter of form and courtesy before the arrangements are completed with
+the bandmaster.
+
+Conveyance for the band has also to be provided and discussed with the
+bandmaster, and also refreshments for the bandsmen; and these details
+are more effectually carried out by a host than by a hostess.
+
+Occasionally a large marquee is erected in which to serve refreshments,
+but more frequently the refreshments for the general company are served
+in the house, and only cool drinks dispensed in a tent to the cricketers
+or lawn-tennis players.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Cricket-matches= are often the _raison d'être_ of a garden-party,
+rendering it popular with both ladies and gentlemen. The cricket-match
+in this case generally takes place in a field near to the grounds of the
+mansion, the match commencing about twelve o'clock, and the general
+company arriving about half-past three, or punctually at four, to
+witness the finish.
+
+Golf now ranks first amongst fashionable outdoor amusements with both
+sexes. Private links are comparatively few, but club links exist in
+almost every neighbourhood--ladies' clubs, men's clubs, and clubs for
+both ladies and gentlemen.
+
+Croquet or tennis tournaments are frequently the occasion of giving
+garden-parties, and some very exciting play takes place.
+
+When a tournament is held it takes the form of a garden-party; it
+usually lasts two days. The arrangements made for holding it depend upon
+circumstances, and it takes place, as do archery-matches, in either
+private or public grounds.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Amusements.=--When a number of children are expected at a garden-party,
+performances of marionettes, or Punch-and-Judy, or conjuring are given
+for their amusement.
+
+In districts remote from town, these shows are difficult to obtain;
+therefore amateur showmen come bravely to the rescue, and their kindly
+efforts to divert the juveniles meet with due appreciation on all sides.
+
+Not seldom a little amateur music is given at a garden-party--not a
+pre-arranged programme of music, but impromptu performances. These
+good-natured efforts to enliven the company occupy about an hour, and
+such performances take place in either the drawing-room or music-room
+of the mansion.
+
+Garden-parties seldom terminate with a dance, though occasionally
+dancing closes the afternoon's amusements.
+
+The time occupied by croquet or tennis precludes all desire on the part
+of the players for further exertion in the shape of dancing, and young
+people apparently prefer playing croquet from 3 to 7 on the lawn to
+dancing in a marquee or in the drawing-room at that hour.
+
+A host and hostess receive their guests at a garden-party on the lawn;
+strangers should be introduced to the hostess by those who have
+undertaken to bring them to her house, and she should shake hands with
+all comers. It is also usual for guests to shake hands with the hostess
+on departure, if opportunity offers for so doing.
+
+Garden-parties commence from 3.30 to 4 o'clock, and terminate at 7
+o'clock.
+
+In making preparations for a garden-party, stabling for the
+carriage-horses and motor-cars of the numerous guests should be taken
+into consideration, and refreshments provided for the men-servants and
+chauffeurs.
+
+Public afternoon concerts, bazaars, and flower-shows are essentially
+functions frequented by ladies _en masse_, and it is the exception,
+rather than the rule, for gentlemen to accompany them; again, at private
+afternoon gatherings, ladies usually appear unaccompanied by gentlemen.
+
+When a garden-party is a very large function, it is not unusual to put
+the words "garden-party" on the invitation cards in place of the words
+"at home"; thus: "The Countess of A---- requests the pleasure of Mr. and
+Mrs. B----'s company at a garden-party on----," etc.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIV
+
+TOWN GARDEN-PARTIES
+
+
+The first garden-parties in town are usually given early in June, and
+continue during this and the ensuing month. The garden-parties at
+Lambeth Palace and Fulham Palace are the pioneers of the garden-party
+season, and the lead is followed by general society with more or
+less alacrity.
+
+Town garden-parties resolve themselves into large receptions held
+out-of-doors, and those who know what crowded drawing-rooms imply in the
+sultry days of June are particularly glad of this change of _locale_,
+and willingly spend an hour or more at one of these out-of-door
+_réunions_, instead of thinking a quarter of an hour's stay all too long
+within doors, where it is a case of heat _versus_ draught, and difficult
+to determine where it is the most objectionable, in the drawing-room,
+tea-room, or on a staircase. Although these functions are designated
+"garden-parties," yet the real style and title is "at homes," the
+address being sufficient indication to the invited guests as to the
+description of entertainment to be given, as the spacious gardens and
+lawns in and around London where these annual parties are held are well
+known to society at large. A band playing in the grounds where the
+garden-party is given would appear to be a _sine quâ non_, but the
+excellence of the same is merely a question of expense. Thus guests have
+the pleasure of listening to the strains of splendid bands, and also the
+disappointment of hearing others far below the average.
+
+As this fickle climate of ours is not to be counted upon for twenty-four
+hours at a stretch to remain fine, it is seldom considered advisable to
+have the whole of the refreshment tables out-of-doors, and thus only
+ices, strawberries and cream, and ice cups are served out-of-doors; tea,
+coffee, and the rest, with ices, strawberries and cream, being
+invariably served within doors.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Refreshment tables out-of-doors= considerably take off the strain from
+the tables in the tea-rooms, especially during the first half-hour, when
+the great rush is made in this direction. Again, should heavy rain set
+in, the servants can easily remove pails of ice and bowls of
+strawberries and cream out of harm's way. Even a large tent or marquee
+is not considered altogether desirable for refreshments, as under a
+burning sun the air within becomes over-heated and oppressive, while in
+the case of a downpour the results are almost disastrous.
+
+The popularity of garden-parties is incontestible in propitious weather.
+A variety of reasons conduce to this; for one thing, movement is so
+pleasant an exchange from the almost stationary position guests are
+compelled to take up in a crowded drawing-room. Again, the number of
+guests invited is so much greater than to an "at home," that the chance
+of meeting a corresponding number of friends and acquaintances is
+trebled; or, on the other hand, if but a few friends should be present
+among the guests, yet the situation does not amount to isolation and
+boredom; and the alternative of sitting under a shady tree or sauntering
+about on the lawns listening to the strains of the band, is positive
+enjoyment in comparison to sitting in the corner of a drawing-room
+barricaded by a phalanx of ladies, or standing wedged in the midst of
+the same. It is small wonder, therefore, that invitations to these
+outdoor functions are hailed with satisfaction and pleasure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Arrivals at a garden-party= are made almost simultaneously, or if not
+quite this, they follow in rapid succession, so that host and hostess
+have a short interval between arrivals and departures; and this offers
+an opportunity to give more than a shake of the hand to many of the
+guests, _i.e._ a little friendly conversation; while at an "at home" the
+hostess has to be at her post from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., as guests arrive
+continuously, even close up to the hour named for departure.
+
+The host is expected to be present at a garden-party, and almost always
+is so; but his presence at his wife's "at home" is left a little
+doubtful, and his absence is often accounted for on the ground of its
+being unavoidable; but the trivial reasons that many men advance to
+their wives for their non-appearance prove how glad they are to escape
+from the ordeal on any terms. A man in the open air is at his best, and
+therefore a garden-party appeals to a host almost as much as it does
+to a guest.
+
+Although the words "at home" are in general use when issuing invitations
+to these functions, yet occasionally the words "garden-party" are
+substituted in lieu of them on the "at home" cards, when the gatherings
+are unusually large; thus: "Viscountess B---- requests the pleasure of
+Mr. and Mrs. G----'s company at a garden-party on----," etc.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXV
+
+EVENING GARDEN-PARTIES
+
+
+=The Garden-Party Season= has been widened out by the introduction of
+"Evening Garden-Parties" into the list of country festivities, and this
+form of entertainment has found great favour with all.
+
+Invitations are issued on the usual "at home" cards, the hours from 9 to
+12 p.m. Occasionally "dancing" is printed on the cards, but not often,
+as it is not usual to combine an evening garden-party with a dance,
+except when only young girls and young men are invited.
+
+Some little perplexity is felt by the recipients of evening garden-party
+invitations as to the style of dress that should be worn. Should ladies
+wear morning dress or evening dress? Men are equally in doubt on this
+point. Ought they to wear evening dress or not? Although this is not
+stated on the invitation cards, yet it is tacitly understood that ladies
+are expected to appear in the usual garden-party attire--smart, pretty
+dresses and hats or bonnets, and small fashionable wraps carried in
+place of sunshades in the event of the evening air proving somewhat
+chilly. Evening dress, when worn at one of these "at homes," looks
+particularly out of place. The thin evening shoes, which must of
+necessity be worn with this style of dress, suit neither dewy grass nor
+stony gravel; and although at the evening concerts at the Botanic
+Gardens many ladies wear "evening dress" with smart evening cloaks, this
+is beside the question. They go for a short half-hour or so, not for a
+three hours' stay. Anyhow, at evening garden-parties, the rule is not
+to wear evening dress as far as ladies are concerned. Men, on the other
+hand, one and all, are expected to do so, morning dress being looked
+upon as out of place on these occasions. A light overcoat is inseparable
+from evening dress, therefore it is not considered risky wear for men
+even on the chilliest of summer evenings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As to the arrangements= for one of these evening garden-parties. It is
+usual to have tea and coffee, and light refreshments during the whole of
+the evening, from arrival to departure, and to give a light supper a
+little before twelve o'clock. The gardens and grounds are illuminated
+with coloured lamps and lanterns, extensively or moderately, as the case
+may be. A band is considered indispensable, but a good one does not seem
+to be equally imperative, to judge from the indifferent performances of
+various bands heard on these summer evenings. However, country audiences
+are not too critical, knowing that to engage a good band from a distance
+entails considerable expense, and that evening garden-parties would be
+singularly few if superior music was insisted upon. Thus the local band
+is encouraged to do its best, and to allow long intervals to elapse
+between each selection.
+
+In the case of an evening turning out decidedly wet, guests invited from
+a distance seldom put in an appearance, while the nearer neighbours do
+so, and the evening garden-party becomes an evening reception within
+doors, shorn of its numbers, it is true, but a pleasant gathering,
+nevertheless, especially with those who know how to make the best of a
+_contretemps_ caused by unpropitious weather.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVI
+
+LUNCHEONS
+
+
+=Invitations to Luncheon= are very much the order of the day in
+fashionable society. Those who look back some few years remark the
+importance now accorded to this midday meal, and contrast it with the
+past. The lateness of the dinner-hour in a measure accounts for the
+position now taken by luncheon in the day's programme, joined to the
+fact that it offers another opportunity for social gatherings; and as
+the prevailing idea seems to be to crowd into one day as much amusement
+and variety and change as possible, invitations to luncheon have become
+one of the features of social life.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to Public Luncheons= are not now confined to the
+celebration of local and civic events, but take a far wider range, and
+are given on every available opportunity when the occasion can be made
+to serve for assembling a large party of ladies and gentlemen. Luncheon
+is by some considered to be rather a lady's meal than not, although in
+reality invitations are given as frequently to the one sex as to the
+other. Yet the predominance of ladies at luncheon is due to the fact
+that the majority of gentlemen are too much occupied at this hour to be
+at liberty to accept invitations to luncheon, while others, more idle,
+breakfast at so late an hour that to them a two o'clock luncheon is a
+farce as far as eating is concerned. Outside of those who are busy men
+and those who are idle men, and consequently late risers, there is
+another semi-occupied class of men who are always amenable to an
+invitation to luncheon.
+
+This institution of luncheon is invaluable to people who have many
+friends, acquaintances, and relations to entertain, as invitations to
+this meal are given for every day in the week, with or without ceremony,
+with long notice or short notice, or on the spur of the moment.
+
+Ladies enjoy the society of their hostess at luncheon far more than at a
+dinner-party. At the former meal she makes general conversation with her
+guests on both sides of the table; at the latter she is monopolised by
+her immediate neighbours, by the gentleman who takes her down to dinner,
+and by the one who sits at her right hand, while she leaves her guests
+to be entertained by the gentlemen who take them in to dinner. At
+luncheon things are different; there is no going in to luncheon,
+conventionally speaking, save on official and public occasions.
+
+Luncheon occupies a prominent place in the round of hospitalities.
+Invitations to luncheon are not formally issued on invitation cards,
+unless some especial reason exists for giving a large luncheon-party, in
+which case it takes rank as an entertainment.
+
+Large luncheon-parties are given on occasions such as lawn-tennis
+tournaments and lawn-tennis parties, archery-parties, cricket matches
+and bazaars, etc.
+
+Semi-official luncheons are given on the occasion of laying the
+foundation-stone of a church or public building, etc. This class of
+luncheon is beside the question, as it is rather a banquet than a
+luncheon, for which printed cards of invitation are issued.
+
+In general society invitations to luncheon are issued by written notes
+or are verbally given according to circumstances.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to Luncheon.=--A week's notice is the longest usually
+given, very little notice being considered requisite.
+
+Many hostesses give their friends _carte blanche_ invitations to
+luncheon; but ladies as a rule seldom avail themselves of this _façon de
+parler_, as they consider it, and prefer to await a more direct form of
+invitation. Gentlemen, on the contrary, are expected to avail themselves
+of this proffered hospitality without ceremony, as the presence of a
+gentleman visitor at luncheon is considered an acquisition, the reason,
+perhaps, being that ladies are usually in the majority at luncheon, and
+also that the unexpected arrival of one or two ladies would call for a
+greater amount of attention on the part of a hostess seated at luncheon
+than would the unexpected arrival of gentlemen, ladies requiring
+especial attention to be shown to them in the matter of a place at
+table, etc., while gentlemen are ready to offer attention instead of
+requiring it, and to take any place at table, whether convenient or
+otherwise.
+
+As a rule, the number of ladies present at luncheon greatly exceeds the
+number of gentlemen present, unless at a luncheon-party, when a hostess
+usually endeavours to equalise the numbers as far as possible; but it is
+not imperative for her to do this, and it is immaterial whether there
+are as many gentlemen as ladies present at luncheon or not.
+
+Luncheon is a very useful institution to a mistress of a house, as it
+enables her to show a considerable amount of civility to her friends and
+acquaintances.
+
+She can invite to luncheon those it might not, for various reasons, be
+convenient to invite to dinner; as for instance, young ladies, single
+ladies, elderly ladies, ladies coming to town, or into the neighbourhood
+for a few days only, and so on.
+
+The usual rule in houses where there are children old enough to do so,
+is for the children to dine at luncheon with their governess, whether
+there are guests present or not.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In Town the Usual Hour for Luncheon= is 1.30 to 2 o'clock; in the
+country it is generally half an hour earlier. The guests are expected to
+arrive within ten minutes of the hour named in the invitation, as
+although punctuality is not imperative, it is very desirable.
+
+A guest, on his or her arrival at a house, should not, if previously
+invited, inquire if the mistress of the house is at home, but should
+say, on the servant opening the door, "Mrs. A. expects me to luncheon."
+
+When the guests are self-invited, they should inquire if the mistress of
+the house is at home.
+
+Guests are conducted to the drawing-room before luncheon. The servant
+precedes them, as at morning calls.
+
+When guests arrive after the hour named for luncheon, they should be at
+once ushered into the dining-room, and their names announced.
+
+When the guests are unacquainted with each other, the hostess should
+make a sort of general introduction or introductions; that is to say,
+she should introduce one gentleman to two or three ladies, thus, "Mr.
+A., Mrs. B., Mrs. C., and Miss D.," making but one introduction in place
+of three separate introductions, this being the less formal mode of
+making unimportant introductions.
+
+It is not always possible for a host to be present at luncheon, owing to
+occupation and engagements, but courtesy to his wife's guests demands
+his presence when practicable. He should either join them in the
+drawing-room or in the dining-room, according to his convenience.
+
+Guests are not sent in to luncheon as they are to dinner.
+
+Ladies should not remove their hats at luncheon. They should remove
+their fur coats and wraps. These should either be left in the hall on
+arrival or taken off in the drawing-room or dining-room. Short gloves
+should be removed; elbow gloves may be retained.
+
+Gentlemen should not take their hats with them into the drawing-room,
+but should leave them in the hall.
+
+Ten minutes is the usual time allowed between the arrival of the guests
+and serving luncheon, which is usually served at the hour named, the
+received rule being not to wait for guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Going in to Luncheon.=--When the luncheon gong sounds the hostess
+should say to the lady of highest rank present, "Shall we go in to
+luncheon?" or some such phrase. (See "The Art of Conversing.") The
+visitor should then move towards the door. If the host is present, he
+should walk beside her; if not, the hostess should do so. The other
+ladies should follow as far as possible according to precedency, the
+gentlemen going last. Thus the hostess either follows with the ladies
+or leads the way.
+
+Guests should not go in to luncheon arm-in-arm as at a dinner-party, but
+singly, each lady by herself, or, when space permits, side by side.
+Gentlemen likewise, but on arriving in the dining-room, each gentleman
+should place himself by the side of a lady, or between two ladies,
+at table.
+
+The hostess should sit at the top of the table and the host at the
+bottom, as at dinner, but it is immaterial where the guests sit,
+although as a rule the lady of highest rank sits by the host, and the
+gentleman of highest rank by the hostess.
+
+A late arrival should, on being ushered into the dining-room, make his
+or her way to the top of the table to shake hands with the hostess,
+making some polite excuse for being late.
+
+A hostess should rise from her seat to welcome a lady, but she should
+not do so to welcome a gentleman.
+
+Luncheon is either served _à la Russe_ or not, according to inclination,
+both ways being in equally good taste, although, as a rule, the joint is
+served from the _buffet_ or side-table, while the _entrées_, game, or
+poultry are placed on the table.
+
+For further information respecting the arrangements for luncheon, see
+the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+Formerly it was the custom in some houses for the servants to leave the
+dining-room as soon as they had helped the various guests to the joint
+or joints, and handed round the vegetables and the wine, in which case
+the host and hostess helped the guests to the _entrées_ and sweets, or
+the gentlemen present did so; but now it is invariably the rule for the
+servants to remain in the room during the whole of luncheon, and to hand
+the dishes and wine, etc., to the guests as at dinner-parties.
+
+Luncheon usually lasts about half an hour, during which time the hostess
+should endeavour to render conversation general.
+
+As at dinner, it is the duty of a hostess to give the signal for leaving
+the room, which she does by attracting the attention of the lady of
+highest rank present by means of a smile and a bow, rising at the same
+time from her seat.
+
+The host, or the gentleman nearest the door, should open it for the
+ladies to pass out.
+
+The ladies should leave the dining-room as far as possible in the order
+in which they have entered it, the hostess following last.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the host is not present=, the gentlemen should follow the ladies
+to the drawing-room; but when the host is present, the gentlemen should
+remain in the dining-room with the host a short time before joining the
+ladies in the drawing-room.
+
+It is optional on the part of the host whether he returns or not with
+the gentlemen to the drawing-room, although, if not particularly
+engaged, it is more courteous to do so.
+
+Coffee is sometimes served after luncheon in the drawing-room. It is
+handed on a salver immediately after luncheon. The most usual way now,
+however, is to have coffee brought into the dining-room at the
+conclusion of luncheon, and handed to the guests on a salver.
+
+The guests are not expected to remain longer than twenty minutes after
+the adjournment to the drawing-room has been made.
+
+Ladies should put on their gloves on their return to the drawing-room
+after luncheon.
+
+Ladies having motor-cars should previously desire their chauffeurs to
+return for them from three to a quarter-past three o'clock, and the
+servant should inform each guest of the arrival of her motor-car.
+
+When a lady requires a cab, she should ask the hostess's permission to
+have one called for her.
+
+The subject of leave-taking is fully described in Chapter IV.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVII
+
+BREAKFASTS
+
+
+=Breakfast Parties= have in certain circles become a feature, and
+invitations to breakfast are issued both by card and by note.
+
+In official circles breakfast parties are frequently given, the morning
+hours up to one o'clock being the only disengaged portion of the day,
+and thus the opportunity is taken for offering and receiving
+hospitality, and of enjoying the society of friends and acquaintances.
+The breakfast hour varies from ten to eleven, according to
+circumstances, and the meal somewhat resembles a luncheon, fish,
+_entrées_, game, and cold viands being given, with the addition of tea,
+coffee, and liqueurs.
+
+Punctuality on these occasions is almost imperative, as breakfast cannot
+be prolonged beyond a given limit, and therefore it is not considered
+necessary to wait the coming of a late guest.
+
+The guests go in to breakfast as to luncheon. When a party consists of
+both ladies and gentlemen, the hostess should lead the way with the lady
+of highest rank, followed by the other ladies, the gentlemen following
+with the host.
+
+When a party consists of gentlemen only, the host should lead the way
+with the gentleman of highest rank, and should indicate to the
+principal of the gentlemen present the places he wishes them to occupy
+at table; the remainder of the company should seat themselves according
+to inclination.
+
+The table should be laid as for luncheon, and decorated with flowers and
+fruit. Tea and coffee should be served from a side table by the servants
+in attendance.
+
+All dishes should be handed as at luncheon.
+
+For the details of "Breakfast-table Arrangements and Serving Breakfast,"
+see the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+The guests usually leave as soon as breakfast is over, unless the ladies
+are invited by the hostess to accompany her to the drawing-room, or the
+gentlemen are invited by the host to smoke a cigarette or cigar previous
+to their departure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=House Party Breakfasts.=--In the country the breakfast hour varies from
+9 to 10.30, and in some country houses it is an understood thing that
+the guests are at liberty to come down to breakfast at any time between
+nine and half-past ten. In not a few country houses the hostess and the
+ladies breakfast in their own rooms, and the gentlemen of the party
+breakfast with the host in the breakfast-room.
+
+The breakfast gong is a signal for assembling in the breakfast-room or
+dining-room, but it is not the custom to wait for any one beyond five or
+ten minutes.
+
+The host and hostess at once take their places at the breakfast-table.
+
+When the house-party is a large one, and space permits, a number of
+small tables should be arranged in the breakfast-room, in addition to a
+long breakfast-table.
+
+The servants should remain in attendance during breakfast to wait upon
+the guests.
+
+There is no general move made from the breakfast table as in the case of
+luncheon or dinner; the hostess generally remains until the whole of the
+guests have at least commenced breakfast, save in the case of very late
+comers, for whom she would not be expected to remain at the head of the
+breakfast-table.
+
+The guests leave the breakfast-table as soon as they have finished
+breakfast, without waiting for any intimation from the hostess to do so.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVIII
+
+PICNICS AND WATER-PARTIES
+
+
+Many things contribute to draw people into the country and away from
+town in the month of September; therefore there is a far larger number
+in each and every neighbourhood inclined for a picnic or a water-party
+than in the three previous months, June, July, and August.
+
+Picnic parties are sometimes invitation parties, and on other occasions
+contribution parties, or parties which partake in a measure of the
+character of both.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Picnics by Motor Car and Picnics by Rail.=--Almost every county has its
+show place, or its ruins, its ruined abbey or its castle, its romantic
+scenery, and its fine views, its hills or its dales, its waterfalls or
+its glens. The southern and western counties are as rich in these
+respects as the eastern counties are barren.
+
+When a picnic party is to proceed to its destination by rail, a saloon
+carriage is engaged beforehand, and arrangement is made at the nearest
+hotel to supply the party with luncheon at from 5s. to 10s. per
+head, according to the style of luncheon required; or hampers of
+provisions are taken under the charge of one or two men-servants.
+
+If the picnic party proceeds by road, a coach is the favourite mode of
+conveyance, whether driven by the owner or hired for the occasion. This
+is a more sociable way of going to a picnic than dividing the party into
+detachments and conveying them in separate carriages. This is sometimes
+unavoidable, and if the party is assembled for a start, it occasions no
+little discussion as to how the party should be divided and conveyed in
+the various carriages, and it takes no little tact to arrange this in a
+satisfactory manner--to overrule objections, and to make things work
+smoothly. Again, the members of a picnic party occasionally find their
+way to the place of rendezvous independently of each other; but,
+although this plan saves trouble, it does not promote sociability, and
+parties of four or six are apt to clique together during the day,
+instead of making themselves generally agreeable. The provision question
+is a very important one, and the heads of a picnic party should arrange
+in concert what each is to bring in the way of fish, flesh, fowl, fruit,
+and wine.
+
+The services of one or two men-servants at a large picnic party are
+generally required to arrange the table, to open the wine, and last, but
+not least, to collect and repack the articles used in the way of plate,
+china, or glass.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A picnic luncheon in September= is not always the _al fresco_ spread
+under the greenwood tree that it is in July, and oftener than not is
+held in the best parlour of a rustic inn, or, by permission, in a barn
+or shed, when the weather is not favourable for camping out.
+
+Usually, when a large picnic party is arranged and got up by some three
+or four ladies and gentlemen, they divide the expenses of the
+entertainment between themselves, and determine how many shall be
+invited, each having the privilege of inviting a certain number. Other
+picnics are got up on a different system, each person contributing a
+share towards the general expenses; but these gatherings are not so
+sociable as are the invitation picnics.
+
+Invitation picnics where everything is done _en prince_ are extremely
+enjoyable and friendly affairs; they are big luncheons, given
+out-of-doors instead of indoors, at a distance instead of at home. But
+even these are not more pleasant than those well-arranged little
+picnics given by officers in country quarters, when the regimental coach
+conveys a favoured few to some favourite spot.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Water-Parties.=--There are many ways of arranging a water-party at
+yachting stations and at all riverside places. At yachting stations, for
+instance, a sailing yacht is hired to convey a party of from eighteen to
+twenty-five to some point of interest on the coast, in which case
+luncheon and tea are provided at an hotel in the vicinity of the place
+where the party have landed, and the expenses are equally divided. Not
+unfrequently, on the return journey, the yacht is becalmed, and does not
+reach its destination until between two and three the following morning.
+If it happens to be a fine moonlight night, this prolongation of a
+water-party is an additional source of enjoyment; but if there is no
+moon as well as no wind, and the calm betokens a storm, it is the
+reverse of pleasant. But these little _contretemps_, when they do occur,
+rather lend a zest to the day's pleasure, and are something to talk
+about afterwards.
+
+Water-parties are often given by owners of yachts. These are invitation
+parties, and luncheon, tea, and sometimes dinner, are served on
+board, and the party land and stroll about, but return to the yacht
+to be entertained.
+
+Picnic and water-parties in general include as many gentlemen as ladies,
+whether they are invitation or contribution parties, although sometimes
+a majority of ladies is unavoidable. Ryde is a favourite station for
+water-parties, as the island itself, as well as the opposite coast,
+offer innumerable points of interest for picnicing, and many are able to
+combine the pleasures of the yacht with those of the launch in one and
+the same water-party; thus a party sails from Ryde to Yarmouth, Isle
+of Wight, and then proceeds in a steam, or other, launch to Alum Bay.
+Launch parties are immensely popular, both on the river and on the
+coast. Some picnic on board, and others on shore, as they feel disposed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Canoe-parties= on coast and river are also popular with both ladies and
+gentlemen, and here again the useful launch is brought into requisition
+to convey the party home, as an hour and a half to two hours is an
+average time to paddle a canoe; after that time the party land either on
+the rocks or on the shore, and light a fire and boil the kettle for tea.
+If the tea-drinking and the after-tea ramble are unduly prolonged there
+is a chance, if on the coast, of the steam-launch running out of coal,
+and of the party having to return home in their own canoes considerably
+later than was expected, and not a little fatigued.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIX
+
+JUVENILE PARTIES
+
+
+=Juvenile Parties= form a prominent feature in the entertainments given
+during the winter months. There is scarcely a household the children of
+which are not indulged with one large party at least, while others are
+allowed as many as two or three children's parties during the winter
+months. These parties offer no little elasticity as to their
+arrangement, varying from a child's tea party, composed, perhaps, of
+five or six children, to a juvenile ball, or fancy dress ball. Some
+mothers object, on principle, to the latter entertainments, on the
+ground that to give a large juvenile ball provokes a corresponding
+number of invitations, and that a round of such gaieties is not good for
+young children, either from a moral or from a hygienic point of view.
+Morally, that such amusements are likely to destroy or impair the
+freshness of childhood, and to engender artificial ideas in their young
+minds in place of such as are natural and healthy, and that the
+imitation of the manners and bearing of their elders causes them to
+become miniature men and women, and divests them of the attributes of
+artless and unaffected childhood.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The dresses worn by children= at these entertainments are of so
+elaborate a character--and so much pride is exhibited when wearing
+them--that a spirit of vanity and a love of dress are aroused at a
+prematurely early age. From a physical point of view, late hours, heated
+rooms, rich dainties, and constant excitement have a pernicious effect
+upon children.
+
+There is, of course, an opposite view taken by those who uphold juvenile
+balls; they consider that children are the better for associating with
+others of their own age outside of their own family circle, and that in
+the case of only children such association is calculated to render them
+lively and intelligent. Another argument in favour of these juvenile
+parties is, that children who are in the habit of constantly attending
+them acquire self-possessed and confident manners, and that all shyness,
+_mauvaise honte_ and _gaucherie_, which distinguish many children when in
+the company of strangers, are dispelled by frequent intercourse with
+children of all ages. Thus, in place of the noisy game of romps, the
+little gentlemen ask the little ladies to dance, pull costume bon-bons
+with their favourite partners, and offer them similar attentions
+throughout the evening. Of course, there are shy little gentlemen and
+shy little ladies even at a juvenile ball; but it is the constant
+endeavour of those who accompany them, whether mammas, elder sisters,
+young aunts, or grown-up cousins, to persuade them to get the better of
+this diffidence, and to induce taciturn Master Tommy to dance with timid
+Miss Tiny. Sometimes Master Tommy is obstinate, as well as taciturn, and
+his "won't" is as strong as his will. As with all things, so with
+children's parties, the medium course is, perhaps, the wisest to take,
+running into neither extreme--avoiding too much seclusion or overmuch
+gaiety, and rendering such gaiety and amusement suitable to the ages of
+the children invited. When an evening's entertainment consists of a
+series of amusements, it is a mistake to crowd too great a variety into
+the space of four hours, the usual limits of a child's party, for if so
+the programme has to be hurriedly gone through, and is hardly finished
+before the hour of departure. No little judgment is required when
+organising juvenile parties. The hours usually selected for children's
+parties, whether on a large or small scale, are from four to eight, five
+to nine, six to ten, or from seven to eleven.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The children on their arrival= are received in the drawing-room. In
+most cases their relatives, either mothers or grown-up sisters, are
+asked to accompany them.
+
+There is great punctuality observed as regards the hour of arrival, and
+tea is usually served in the dining-room about half an hour after that
+named on the invitation card. The interim is generally passed by
+children in watching each fresh arrival, and in greeting their little
+acquaintances, comparing notes with each other as to the teas and the
+parties they are going to, or in amusing themselves with the toys
+belonging to the children of the house, which are usually arranged on
+tables for this purpose; and mechanical toys, walking and talking birds,
+etc., musical toys, picture-books, and dolls, and the latest and newest
+inventions in the way of playthings afford the little visitors an
+opportunity for becoming at ease with each other.
+
+Tea is generally dispensed at one end of a long table, and coffee at the
+opposite end. The governess usually pours out the tea, and one of the
+daughters of the house the coffee; or failing her, the head nurse or
+lady's maid does so. Dishes of pound, plum, and sponge cake are placed
+the length of the table, interspersed with plates of thin
+bread-and-butter, biscuits, and preserves; either the ladies of the
+family or the servants in attendance hand them to the children.
+
+When the relatives accompany the children tea is usually served to them
+in another room, but frequently they do not arrive until tea is over,
+and the nurses accompany the children to the house.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Amusements.=--The arrangements for the evening's amusement are
+regulated in a measure by the amount of accommodation a house affords,
+premising that boisterous games are not allowed in drawing-rooms;
+unless all valuable ornaments or things likely to be broken are removed
+from the rooms.
+
+If conjuring is one of the amusements provided, it generally takes place
+in the drawing-room immediately after tea, and lasts about an hour. A
+dancing-cloth is put down over the drawing-room carpet; rout seats or
+cane chairs are arranged in rows. The youngest children are seated in
+the first row. Performing birds, performing dogs, or performing monkeys
+are also favourite amusements at these parties, and rank next to
+conjuring in the estimation of children. Punch and Judy or marionettes
+are popular drawing-room amusements, and either occupies the space of an
+hour.
+
+When a cinematograph show is the entertainment provided, it takes place
+in the dining-room or library, or perhaps in the housekeeper's room, if
+large enough for the purpose.
+
+Dancing or games usually precede these amusements, and lasts from half
+to three-quarters of an hour; little girls dance with each other round
+and square dances, as little girls are, as a rule, more partial to
+dancing than are little boys, although they one and all, great and
+small, join with glee in a country dance, or in the Tempête, or in "Sir
+Roger de Coverley."
+
+Not longer than an hour is devoted to dancing, and this is usually
+followed by games.
+
+Impromptu charades is a favourite pastime with children; but to avoid
+the juvenile audience becoming weary and impatient during the
+preparation of the charades it is as well they should be amused with
+some quiet game, such as "forfeits," "cross questions and crooked
+answers," "proverbs," etc. At Christmas and New Year's parties the
+distribution of presents is a very important feature; Christmas trees
+are now rather discarded in favour of greater novelties. "Father
+Christmas," "Santa Claus," "The Fairy Godmother," "The Fairies' Well,"
+or the "Lucky Bag" and "The Magic Log," are some of the many devices for
+the distribution of presents; these popular characters are represented
+by grown-up persons, and provoke much wonder and admiration amongst
+children. The presents are usually given at the close of the evening.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Light Refreshments= are provided in the dining-room--lemonade, wine and
+water, every description of cake, sandwiches, crystallized fruits,
+French plums, figs, almonds and raisins, oranges, etc. Bon-bons
+containing paper caps, etc., which afford children much amusement, are
+usually provided.
+
+When a juvenile ball is given a supper is provided; otherwise light
+refreshments are considered sufficient, and are served twice during the
+evening. Sometimes the children of the family, if old enough and clever
+enough, act a little play--some nursery fairy tale, condensed into one
+act, such as "Beauty and the Beast," "Cinderella," etc.--which lasts
+about an hour, and is followed by dancing.
+
+When a juvenile fancy ball is given, one or two fancy quadrilles are
+arranged beforehand, to be danced by the children in costume.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXX
+
+WRITTEN INVITATIONS
+
+
+=Writing Letters of Invitation=, and answering letters of invitation,
+often occupy far longer time in the composition than the writers would
+care to confess. The difficulty does not lie in an invitation itself or
+in accepting or refusing it, but rather in the form in which either
+should be couched, the words that should be chosen, and the expressions
+that should be used; one person is afraid of being too _empressé_,
+another of being too formal or too stiff; one is fearful of saying too
+little, another of saying too much.
+
+When invitations are issued on dinner cards or on "at home" cards, the
+note of acceptance should be as brief as is the printed card of
+invitation, and to the printed card requesting the pleasure of Mrs.
+Blank's company at dinner, the stereotyped answer is invariably Mrs.
+Blank has much pleasure in accepting Mrs. Dash's kind invitation for
+Saturday the 21st, or Mrs. Blank regrets that a previous engagement will
+prevent her from having the pleasure of accepting Mrs. Dash's kind
+invitation for Saturday, the 21st.
+
+As regards those invitations that refer to visits of some days'
+duration, those accustomed to give this description of entertainment,
+know exactly what to say and how to say it. The conventional civilities
+or affectionate cordialities, as the case may be, occur in their proper
+places; but one point is made clear in either case, namely, the length
+of the visit to be paid. There are people who are under the impression
+that to specify the exact length of a visit is in a degree inhospitable,
+and not sufficiently polite; and they, therefore, as a sort of
+compromise, use the ambiguous term "a few days" in lieu of distinctly
+defining the limit of these invitations. So far from vague invitations
+such as these being an advantage to invited guests, they not seldom
+place them at a disadvantage at more points than one. They are uncertain
+on what day they are to take their departure. They do not wish by
+leaving a day earlier to disarrange any little plans that their hostess
+may have contemplated for their amusement; neither do they wish to
+prolong their visit a day later, lest by so doing they should break in
+upon any engagements that she may have formed on her own account
+independently of her visitors. It is also not a little awkward for
+guests to tell their hostess that they think of leaving on Thursday by
+12.20 train. It might have suited the hostess very much better that her
+visitors should have left on the Wednesday, and in her own mind she had
+perhaps intended that the visit should end on that day; but, having left
+the invitation open, more or less, by saying "a few days," there is
+nothing left for her but to sacrifice her own arrangements to the
+convenience of her guests, as without discourtesy she could hardly
+suggest to them that they should leave a day earlier than the one they
+had named, and the visitors remain unconscious of having in any way
+trespassed upon the good nature of their hostess.
+
+"A few days" is also an unsatisfactory wording of an invitation to
+visitors themselves; as a rule, it means three or four days, but there
+is also an uncertainty as to whether the fourth day should be taken or
+not. Those who interpret "a few days" to mean three days, make their
+plans for departure accordingly; failing this, they are compelled to
+leave their plans open, and stay from three to five days, according as
+chance and circumstances may dictate. A lady would perhaps require a
+little addition to her wardrobe in the matter of a five days' visit over
+that of a three days' stay; but this is a trifling detail, although it
+helps to swell the list of minor inconveniences which are the result of
+vague invitations. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule, and
+there are people who use this phrase of "Will you come and see us for a
+few days?" in the _bonâ fide_ sense of the word, and to whom it is
+immaterial whether their guests remain three days or six days; but such
+an elastic invitation as this is usually given to a relative, or to a
+very intimate friend, whose footing in the house is that of a relation,
+and with whom the hostess does not stand on ceremony, as far as her own
+engagements are concerned; and people on these friendly terms can talk
+over their departure with their hostess, and consult her about it
+without the faintest embarrassment.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The most satisfactory invitation= is certainly the one that mentions
+the day of arrival and the day of departure. Thus, after the _raison
+d'être_ of the invitation has been stated, the why and the wherefore of
+its being given follows the gist of the letter: "We hope you will come
+to us on Wednesday the 23rd, and remain until the 27th." It is, of
+course, open to a hostess to ask her visitors to prolong their stay
+beyond the date named if she sees reason for so doing; but this is the
+exception rather than the rule in the case of short visits, and guests
+take their departure as a matter of course on the day named in the
+invitation. Hostess and guests are perfectly at ease upon the subject,
+and guests do not feel on delicate ground with their hostess, or fear to
+outstay their welcome. When a visit has been paid it is polite, if not
+imperative, to write to the hostess and express the pleasure that has
+been derived from it. Oftener than not some little matter arises which
+necessitates a note being written apart from this; but whether or not,
+good feeling and good taste would dictate that some such note should be
+written, and, as it can always include little matters of general
+interest in connection with the past visit, it need neither be over
+ceremonious nor coldly polite.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=To write a letter asking for an invitation=, or to answer a letter
+asking for an invitation, is in either case a difficult letter to write,
+as many have ere this discovered. When a married lady asks for an
+invitation for a young relative or friend staying with her, to some
+dance or "at home" to which she herself is invited, the note is simple
+enough, and the answer is generally a card of invitation or a written
+permission to bring her. Again, in the case of asking for invitations
+for gentlemen, if a lady is going to a ball, she can without hesitation,
+ask for cards of invitation for one or two gentlemen friends of her own,
+mentioning their names in the note. In this case also the answer is
+generally in the affirmative, as men are always acquisitions at a ball.
+The awkwardness of the situation arises when a good-natured person is
+solicited to obtain an invitation to a smart ball for a lady and her
+daughters, or for the young ladies only, the latter knowing some one who
+would chaperon them if they could only get an invitation. If the lady
+who asks for the invitation is a fashionable ball-giver, the probability
+is that her request will be granted; but if the contrary, the reverse
+will most likely be the case. Even when writing to an intimate friend,
+there is always a delicacy in asking for an invitation for a third
+person, and society appears to become, year after year, still more
+exclusive on this point. Many people are reluctant, or decline
+altogether, to put themselves under an obligation of this nature, even
+for those with whom they are most intimate; it may be that the number of
+refusals good-natured people have received from their friends when
+trying to render services of this description, have made them chary of
+putting themselves forward again in a similar manner: it is chilling to
+be told that the list is over full, or that so many people have been
+refused already, or that there is not a card to spare. But a few years
+ago a ball was not considered a success unless it was an over-crowded
+one; the popularity of the ball-giver was shown by the guests scarcely
+being able to find standing-room. Thus, invitations were given right
+and left to the friends of those who asked for them.
+
+But the fashion of to-day is to style a crowded ball-room a
+"bear-garden," and to confine the invitations, with but very few
+exceptions, to those who are strictly on the visiting list of the
+ball-giver; and pretty girls may sigh in vain for an invitation to a
+ball given even by a relative or acquaintance of their own, if not on
+their visiting list. Still, invitations are constantly asked for by
+people for their friends, and sometimes they are given and sometimes
+they are refused, as the case may be, but much depends upon the position
+of the one who solicits the favour.
+
+If the giver of an entertainment wishes to oblige the petitioner, she
+will stretch a point to do so; if not, she will write a polite note of
+excuse, giving one of the reasons before mentioned. It is thoroughly
+understood people do not ask for invitations for themselves, whatever
+they may do for their friends, and that they would not do so unless they
+were themselves invited. Living at a distance modifies, however, this
+latter rule; and friends in the country often ask for invitations for
+friends in town, and _vice versâ_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Dinner invitations= are, as a matter of course, never asked for; but
+invitations to garden-parties, afternoon "at homes," and afternoon teas,
+are frequently asked for and readily given. Some are intimate enough at
+the house where they visit to take a relative or friend with them to
+those afternoon gatherings without observing the punctiliousness of
+asking for an invitation; others, on less intimate terms, do not venture
+upon doing so.
+
+In all cases when an invitation is asked for, a hostess should never
+neglect to send a reply, and should not take for granted that her
+friends will naturally understand that silence gives consent, for
+under the circumstances it is very possible to interpret it to
+signify a refusal.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXI
+
+REFUSING INVITATIONS
+
+
+Many reasons exist for declining invitations other than the plea of a
+prior engagement.
+
+"Mrs. M. regrets ('much regrets,' or 'very much regrets') that a
+previous engagement prevents her having the pleasure of accepting Mrs.
+N.'s 'invitation,' or 'kind invitation.'" When on more intimate terms,
+Mrs. M. should write in the first person when declining an invitation.
+It is an open question whether the nature of the engagement should be
+stated or not. Even intimate friends often confine themselves to the
+statement of the bare fact only that a prior engagement exists; others,
+on the contrary, state the nature of the engagement, and there is no
+doubt that this latter course considerably softens a refusal and lessens
+the disappointment experienced, and therefore, when practicable, should
+always be followed.
+
+When a prior engagement cannot be made the basis of a refusal, then the
+refusal must rest on other lines; ill health, a severe cold, etc., are
+valid excuses. Failing these, the refusal should be as follows:--"Mrs.
+Z. regrets she is unable to accept Mrs. X.'s kind invitation, etc."
+
+It occasionally happens that it is desirable to break an engagement,
+circumstances having changed the aspect of things. The invitation,
+perhaps, was a verbal one, and a refusal was not easy at the moment.
+
+Again, impromptu invitations are sometimes refused, having been too
+hastily accepted--the servant who brought the note waited for an
+answer, and on the impulse of the moment an affirmative answer was
+given; the wife had not time to consult her husband, and accepted for
+him as well as for herself; or perhaps some potent domestic reason that
+could not be explained induced a subsequent refusal.
+
+The fashionable world accepts refusals as a matter of course, and fills
+up the gaps with other invitations.
+
+Refusals of dinner invitations from those for whom a dinner party was
+partly originated are always disappointing, even to the most popular of
+dinner givers, in the same way that the absence of the principal
+neighbour from a county entertainment is felt to cast a shadow over the
+proceedings of the day.
+
+Although printed cards of acceptance and of refusal are in general use,
+yet many cases arise which render written refusals imperative.
+
+As regards the refusal of invitations asked for, such requests should
+not be made unless on very safe ground, and with a certainty of meeting
+with acquiescence, yet occasionally these requests are either unwelcome
+or inadmissible, and refusals are consequently given; but, unless worded
+with tact and good nature, they are often the cause of strained
+relations between both friends and acquaintances.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXII
+
+WALKING, DRIVING, AND RIDING
+
+
+=The Usual Hours for Walking= in the Park are from 9 until 10.30 a.m.
+The hours for afternoon walking and sitting in the Park are from 4 to
+7 p.m. during the summer months.
+
+The fashionable hours for walking in the Park on Sunday are from 1
+to 2 p.m., both in winter and summer; and from 5 to 7 p.m. in the
+summer months.
+
+Married ladies can, if they please, walk out unaccompanied or unattended
+in places of public resort in town or on the parades of fashionable
+watering-places; but married ladies, especially if they are young,
+usually prefer the society of another lady, not so much, perhaps, for
+propriety as for companionship, as to walk alone, either in town or at
+fashionable watering-places, renders a lady more or less conspicuous,
+especially if she is attractive and well dressed.
+
+A young lady can now also walk by herself in the Park for the purpose of
+joining her friends and acquaintances, both in the morning and in the
+afternoon, but she should not sit alone.
+
+Again, young ladies may walk alone in the fashionable streets, but they
+should not loiter when alone at shop-windows as they pass, but walk at a
+quick pace from shop to shop, or from street to street.
+
+In the quiet neighbourhoods of towns, suburban towns, and
+watering-places, young ladies walk unaccompanied and unattended to
+visit their friends residing in the near vicinity of their homes, or to
+attend classes, or for the purpose of shopping, etc. Indeed, great
+independence is generally accorded in this respect, the line being drawn
+at evening hours--that is to say, at walking alone after dusk.
+
+At watering-places, and at all public promenades, it is usual for
+gentlemen to join ladies with whom they are acquainted, and to walk with
+them for a short time when it is apparent that their company is desired,
+but not otherwise.
+
+Ladies and gentlemen, whether related or not, should never walk
+arm-in-arm, unless the lady is an elderly one, or an invalid, and
+requires this support.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Driving.=--From 3 to 6.30 are the received hours for the afternoon
+drive during the summer, and from 2.30 to 4.30 during the winter.
+
+The following rules as regards entering and leaving a carriage apply to
+a motor-car or an electric brougham as far as the construction, make,
+and size of the same render it possible.
+
+When driving in an open or close carriage or motor-car it is quite
+immaterial whether the owner occupies the right-hand or the left-hand
+seat. The seat she occupies depends upon which side she enters, as the
+lady driving with her should enter before her and should seat herself on
+the furthest seat.
+
+A visitor should always enter the motor-car or carriage before the
+hostess.
+
+When three ladies enter a motor-car or carriage the young unmarried lady
+should take the back seat and the two married ladies should occupy the
+front seat; this is a matter of courtesy on the part of a young lady due
+to married ladies and not strictly demanded by etiquette.
+
+A husband should sit with his back to the horses, or by the side of the
+chauffeur in the case of a motor-car, when a lady is driving with his
+wife.
+
+A gentleman should be the first to get out of a motor-car or carriage,
+with a view to assisting the ladies to do so.
+
+As a rule the hostess should leave the carriage or car after her guest
+and not before her, unless it is more convenient to do otherwise.
+
+When a lady is merely calling for an acquaintance to take her for a
+drive, she should not descend from her car or carriage for the purpose
+of allowing her to enter it before her.
+
+In the afternoon young ladies may drive alone in the public
+thoroughfares, unaccompanied by married ladies. It is permissible for a
+young lady to drive alone in the Park or in the streets. A married lady
+can, as a matter of course, drive unaccompanied.
+
+It would be unconventional were a lady to drive alone with a gentleman
+in his motor-car, unless he were nearly related to her, or unless she
+were engaged to be married to him.
+
+It is usual for the owner of a carriage to sit with her face to the
+horses; when a married lady is driving with her she should sit beside
+her. When young ladies are driving with her in addition to the married
+lady they should sit with their backs to the horses.
+
+When a lady is driving with her husband, and a young lady accompanies
+her, she should not offer the front seat to the young lady, but should
+retain it herself, and even should the offer be made, a young lady
+should not avail herself of it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Riding.=--As regards riding in town, the hours for practice in the Row
+are from 8 to 10 a.m. in summer and 9 to 11 a.m. in winter, for
+inexperienced riders and beginners; young ladies ride with a
+riding-master or with a riding-mistress, or with a relative, as the
+case may be.
+
+The hours for riding in the Park range from 9.30 to 10.30 a.m.
+
+It is thoroughly understood that a lady may ride in the Park alone--that
+is, unaccompanied or unattended--for the purpose of joining her friends.
+It is argued, in these days of woman's emancipation, that no possible
+harm or annoyance can arise from the fact of a lady riding unattended,
+beyond the always possible chance of an accident.
+
+Although great latitude is now allowed to young ladies with regard to
+riding alone, many parents still prefer that their daughters should be
+attended by their grooms.
+
+Two ladies frequently ride together, unaccompanied by a gentleman and
+unattended by a groom.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIII
+
+BOWING
+
+
+As regards the recognition of friends or acquaintances, it is the
+privilege of a lady to take the initiative, by being the first to bow. A
+gentleman should not raise his hat to a lady until she has accorded him
+this mark of recognition, although the act of bowing is a simultaneous
+action on the part of both lady and gentleman, as a lady would hardly
+bestow a bow upon a gentleman not prepared to return it.
+
+The bow between intimate acquaintances takes the character, when given
+by a lady, of a familiar nod in place of a stiff bow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a gentleman returns the bow= of a lady he should do so by
+distinctly taking his hat off and as quickly replacing it, not merely
+raising it slightly, as formerly, and if he is an intimate acquaintance
+or friend, he should act in a similar manner.
+
+In France and on the Continent generally, the rule of bowing is
+reversed, and the gentleman is the first to bow to the lady, instead
+of the lady to the gentleman.
+
+Between ladies but slightly acquainted, the one of highest rank should
+be the first to bow to the other; between ladies of equal rank it is
+immaterial which of the two bows first.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A lady should not bow= to persons only known to her by sight, although
+she may frequently have seen them in the company of her friends.
+
+A lady should bow to a gentleman, either a friend or acquaintance,
+even when he is walking with either a lady or gentleman, with whom
+she is unacquainted.
+
+Gentlemen do not raise their hats in recognition of each other, but
+simply nod, when not walking with ladies, save when a vast difference
+exists in rank or age.
+
+When a gentleman meets another--a friend of his--walking with a lady or
+ladies, with whom he himself is unacquainted, he should raise his hat
+and look straight before him, not at the lady or ladies.
+
+A lady should not bow to another who, being a stranger to her, has
+addressed a few remarks to her at an afternoon party, as the fact of
+meeting at the house of a mutual friend does not constitute an
+acquaintanceship, and does not authorise a future bowing acquaintance.
+
+Ladies, as a rule, are not too ready to bow to those whom they have
+merely conversed with in a casual way. In the first place, they are not
+quite certain of being remembered, and nothing is more disconcerting and
+disagreeable than to bow to a person who does not return it through
+forgetfulness of the one who has given it, or through shortsightedness,
+or through actual intention. Short-sighted people are always offending
+in the matter of not bowing, and almost every third person,
+comparatively speaking, complains of being more or less short-sighted;
+thus it behoves ladies to discover for themselves the strength and
+length of sight possessed by their new acquaintances, or the chances are
+that their bow may never be returned, or they may continue to labour
+under the impression that they have received a cut direct; thus many
+pleasant acquaintances are lost through this misapprehension, and many
+erroneous impressions created.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A bowing acquaintance= is a difficult and tiresome one to maintain for
+any length of time, when opportunities do not arise for increasing it.
+The irksomeness of keeping it up is principally experienced by persons
+meeting day after day in the Park or on public promenades, riding,
+driving, or walking, more especially when it is tacitly understood that
+the acquaintance should not develop into a further acquaintance.
+
+It would be considered discourteous to discontinue a bowing acquaintance
+which has once been commenced.
+
+To know a gentleman by sight through having frequently seen him at balls
+and parties, does not give a lady the right to bow to him, even though
+she may have stood beside him for some twenty minutes or so on a crowded
+staircase, and may have received some slight civility from him.
+
+A lady who has received a little service from a stranger would gladly
+acknowledge it at any subsequent meeting by a pleasant bow, but as
+bowing to a gentleman argues an acquaintance with him, and as in such
+cases as these an acquaintance does not exist, etiquette provides no
+compromise in the matter. Therefore, if a young lady takes her own line,
+and rather than appear ungracious bows to a gentleman who has not been
+introduced to her either directly or indirectly, it is a breach of
+etiquette on her part; and as to do an unconventional thing is not
+desirable, the innumerable little services which ladies receive in
+general society are not further acknowledged beyond the thanks expressed
+at the moment of their being received.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Bows vary materially:= there is the friendly bow, the distant bow, the
+ceremonious bow, the deferential bow, the familiar bow, the reluctant
+bow, and so on, according to the feelings that actuate individuals in
+their intercourse with each other.
+
+When a bowing acquaintance only exists between ladies and gentlemen, and
+they meet perhaps two or three times during the day, and are not
+sufficiently intimate to speak, they do not usually bow more than once,
+when thus meeting in park or promenade.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIV
+
+THE COCKADE
+
+
+=Cockades are worn= by servants in livery of officers in the army and
+navy, and all those who hold His Majesty's commission; also
+lords-lieutenants and deputy-lieutenants.
+
+Retainers of the Crown are entitled to the use of the cockade as a badge
+of the reigning dynasty.
+
+The fact that cockades are now so frequently worn by men-servants may be
+accounted for thus:
+
+Deputy-lieutenants are far more numerous now than was formerly the case;
+almost every country gentleman is a deputy-lieutenant, and consequently
+his servants are entitled to the use of the cockade. The privilege of
+appearing in uniform at levées instead of in Court dress has been and is
+an incentive to many to seek for and obtain the appointment of
+deputy-lieutenant. Again, all justices of the peace claim the use of the
+cockade as being "Civil retainers of the Crown"; and although there is
+no clearly defined rule on this head, according to the late Sir Albert
+Woods, Garter-King-at-Arms, it has long been tacitly conceded to them.
+
+The custom of livery servants wearing cockades dates from the
+commencement of the eighteenth century, and was at first purely a
+military distinction.
+
+The cockade worn by the servants of the members of the Royal Family, and
+by all who claim to be of Royal descent, is slightly different in shape
+from that known as the badge of the reigning dynasty, _i.e._ the
+Hanoverian badge, and is round in shape and without a fan. The military
+cockade is of an oval shape, terminating in a fan. The civil cockade is
+of an oval shape also, but without the fan. The naval cockade is
+identical with the civil cockade.
+
+The white cockade is the badge of the House of Stuart. The black cockade
+that of the House of Hanover. The servants of foreign ambassadors wear
+cockades in colour according to their nationalities. Black and white
+for Germany; black and yellow for Austria; the tricolour for France;
+scarlet for Spain; blue and white for Portugal; and black and yellow
+for Belgium.
+
+The word cockade, according to a well-known authority, was borrowed from
+the French _cocarde_, having originally been applied to the plumes of
+cock's feathers worn by Croatian soldiers serving in the French army.
+Some such plume, or in its place a bunch of ribbons, came to be used in
+pinning up the flaps of the hat into a cocked position, and thus
+gradually the word passed for the name of the "cocked" hat itself.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXV
+
+COUNTRY-HOUSE VISITS
+
+
+September is actually the commencement of the country visiting season,
+the few visits that are paid in August are but a prelude to the
+programme that is to follow during the succeeding five months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The visitors received in August= are principally relatives. The
+exceptions to the August family parties are the August cricket parties
+in the counties where cricket is made a great feature during that month,
+where the cricket weeks and consequent large country-house parties are
+of annual recurrence, and where balls and private theatricals form part
+of the week's amusement. It often follows that people visit at the same
+houses year after year, they arrange their tour of visits with regard to
+those invitations which they annually receive; new acquaintances and new
+houses whereat to visit are added to the list from time to time and take
+the place of those which, as a matter of course, drop out of it.
+Sometimes the invitations fit into each other admirably, like the pieces
+of a puzzle; at others there is an awkward interval of a day, or two or
+three days, to be filled up between leaving one house and arriving at
+another. If the hostess is, in either case, a relation or an intimate
+friend, this difficulty is easily surmounted by staying on at one house
+until the day fixed for arrival at another, or _vice versâ_; but if a
+guest is on ceremony with her hostess, or if, as is often the case, new
+arrivals are expected for the following week, the alternative is to
+spend a few days in town, as although the house where the next visit to
+be paid might be within twenty or thirty miles of the house the visitor
+is about to leave, it would be unusual to spend the interval at an hotel
+in the adjacent town, as to do so might reflect upon the hospitality of
+the hostess. On the other hand, invitations are sometimes given
+independently of dates, but this friendly style of invitation is not
+given when a large party is invited, and it is understood to mean that
+the hostess may be quite alone, or may have guests staying with her, as
+the case may be. This form of invitation is frequently given to people
+visiting in Scotland, on account of the great distance from town.
+
+It is a very general custom to give shooting parties the third week in
+September, harvest permitting. If the harvest is late on account of
+unfavourable weather the shooting parties are postponed until the first
+week in the ensuing month. The guests, or at least the crack guns, are
+usually invited for partridge driving, which is what partridge shooting
+now actually amounts to.
+
+There are large shooting parties and small shooting parties, shooting
+parties to which royalty is invited and shooting parties restricted to
+intimate friends or relations, but in either case the period is the
+same, three days' shooting.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=If a party is limited to five guns=, seven ladies is the average number
+invited, the hostess relying upon a neighbour or a neighbour's son to
+equalise the balance at the dinner-table. The success of house-parties
+mainly depends upon people knowing each other, or fraternising when they
+are introduced or have made each other's acquaintance. The ladies of a
+country-house party are expected, as a rule, to amuse themselves, more
+or less, during the day. After luncheon there is usually a drive to a
+neighbouring town, a little shopping to be done there, or a call to be
+paid in the neighbourhood by some of the party, notably the married
+ladies, the young ladies being left to their own resources.
+
+At the close of a visit game is offered to those of the shooters to whom
+it is known that it will be acceptable.
+
+The head gamekeeper is usually instructed to put up a couple of brace of
+pheasants and a hare. But in some houses even this custom is not
+followed, and the whole of the game killed, with the exception of what
+is required for the house, finds its way into the market, both the local
+market and the London market.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Shooting parties as a rule give a hostess little anxiety on the score of
+finding amusement for the ladies of the party, as so many aids out of
+doors are at her command at this season of the year. This is a great
+advantage, as although some few ladies possessing great strength of
+nerve have taken up shooting as an amusement and pastime and acquit
+themselves surprisingly well in this manly sport, yet ladies in general
+are not inclined for so dangerous a game, and even those intrepid ladies
+who have learnt how to use their little gun would never be permitted to
+make one or two of a big shooting party, even were they so inclined.
+
+The hostess and the ladies of the party invariably join the shooters at
+luncheon, and some of the ladies go out with the shooters in the morning
+to watch their prowess in the field; but this entails a great deal of
+walking where partridge shooting is concerned, which is quite another
+thing to covert shooting in November and December.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A good hostess has great opportunities= for distinguishing herself when
+entertaining a country-house party, from the arrival of the first
+motor-car to the departure of the last. Her consideration and tact are
+so successfully exerted that somehow her guests always find themselves
+doing exactly what they like best and in company with those who are
+most congenial to them, to say nothing of the comfort of the general
+domestic arrangements, which seem to have been arranged exclusively for
+their convenience. If they wish to drive, there is a carriage or
+motor-car at their disposal; if they prefer a constitutional, there is
+some one very agreeable desirous of walking with them. The daily papers
+are always to be found, the post-bag goes out at a most convenient hour
+by the hand of a special messenger, the dinner is of the best, and the
+evening is of the cheeriest. Bridge as a rule is played in most houses,
+and several tables are arranged in the drawing-room to accommodate the
+would-be players.
+
+Occasionally, when the birds are wild and sport is slack, a sort of
+picnic luncheon is held in the vicinity of a keeper's lodge, under the
+shade of some wide-spreading trees, when the ladies join the party; but
+in September keen sportsmen rather despise this playing at shooting, and
+resent the interruption caused by the company of ladies at luncheon, and
+prefer to take it in the rough and smoke the while. Every day of the
+week is not thus given up to shooting, and there are few owners of
+manors who would care to provide five days' consecutive sport for their
+guests, and two days' hard shooting is probably followed by what is
+called an idle day. On these off days in September the hostess often
+gives a garden-party, or takes her guests to one given by a neighbour at
+some few miles distant; or she holds a stall at a bazaar and persuades
+her guests to assist her in disposing of her stock; or she induces her
+party to accompany her to some flower-show in which she takes a local
+interest; or the host and one or two of the best shots start early after
+breakfast to shoot with a neighbour, and the remainder of the guests
+drive over to a picturesque ruin, where they picnic, and return home in
+time for the eight-o'clock dinner. If the owner of a mansion has a coach
+the whole party is conveyed on it, otherwise the motor-cars are brought
+into requisition, while saddle horses are provided for those who care
+to ride. A country-house party occasionally resolves itself into two or
+more cliques, as far as the ladies are concerned; gentlemen, as a rule,
+are not much given to this sort of thing. On the first evening, as soon
+as the ladies have left the dining-room for the drawing-room, these
+little cliques are tacitly formed, and continue unbroken until the close
+of the visit. There are many reasons which call these cliques into
+existence--old intimacies revived, new acquaintanceships to be
+strengthened, unwelcome acquaintanceships to be avoided, and so on.
+These cliques are by no means agreeable to the hostess, indeed, quite
+the contrary--but she is powerless to prevent their being formed, and
+she is herself sometimes drawn into one or other of them, and sometimes
+altogether excluded from them. Any one who is at all conversant with
+country-house visiting is aware how thoroughly the influence of the
+clique pervades the atmosphere of the drawing-room; and yet, perhaps, at
+country-house parties more friendships are formed and intimacies
+cemented than at any other gatherings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The evening amusements= at country-house parties vary very much
+according to the proclivities of the hostess or those of her daughters.
+At some houses dancing is the order of things for a couple of hours or
+so after dinner, but this mode of spending the evening does not always
+commend itself to the gentlemen, who, after a long day's walking through
+wet turnips and over heavy ploughed land, or a hard day's riding over
+stiff fences, rather incline towards the _dolce far niente_ of a
+luxurious armchair than to the pleasures of the mazy valse, and are
+proportionately grateful to a hostess who does not call upon them to
+undergo any further exercise than what they have already gone through
+for their own pleasure.
+
+In most country-house parties bridge forms the chief if not the only
+amusement, and is played not only after dinner but in the afternoon
+also. Amateur theatricals and _tableaux vivants_, impromptu charades,
+thought reading, conjuring, etc., are fashionable amusements and easy of
+accomplishment: the first-named of these demands considerable study and
+plenty of time for rehearsal, therefore theatricals are generally
+engaged in when the party is composed of relatives rather than of
+acquaintances, and when the visit would be perhaps prolonged to ten days
+or a fortnight.
+
+Some hostesses prefer keeping late hours to early hours, and do not
+retire until after twelve; this does not commend itself to the
+gentlemen, as they are not supposed to adjourn to the smoking-room until
+the ladies have left the drawing-room, and gentlemen like to spend a
+couple of hours in the smoking-room after dinner.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In hunting counties= the breakfast is usually an early one, varying
+from nine o'clock to half-past nine, according to whether the ride to
+covert is likely to be a long or a short one; but, as a rule, the
+nominal breakfast hour is 9.30 o'clock. A certain amount of latitude is
+allowed to guests as regards coming down to breakfast; they do not
+assemble in the morning-room, but all make their way to the
+breakfast-room, and seat themselves at once at table, while many ladies
+breakfast in their own rooms.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In Scotland, an invitation to shoot= often means a visit of three
+weeks. The accommodation of the shooting-box or lodge may be limited or
+primitive, and it is very often both of these; but it matters very
+little to the sportsman what sort of bed he sleeps on, or how he is made
+to rough it, providing the grouse are plentiful. On some of the moors
+there are but cottages and farmhouses for the occupation of the
+sportsmen, but on others the houses are excellent, and let with the
+moors, as many take a moor season after season and invite their friends
+to shoot between the 12th of August and October. The grand shooting
+parties that are annually given in Scotland by owners of large estates
+and fine shootings extends throughout the whole of the shooting season,
+and guests come and go without intermission; as one leaves another
+arrives. Certain houses or castles are much gayer than others; to some
+very few ladies are asked, the majority of the guests being
+gentlemen--probably the hostess and two ladies and eight men--in others,
+the numbers are more equal; in others, again, the party sometimes
+consists entirely of men with a host and no hostess. Ladies generally
+ask their most intimate friends to Scotland rather than acquaintances,
+as they are left to themselves the whole of the day, dinner being often
+postponed until nine o'clock, on account of the late return of the
+sportsmen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=South of the Tweed, September invitations= are usually given for three
+or four days, from Tuesday till Saturday; married couples, young ladies,
+and young men, are all asked, and the ladies find amusement in
+lawn-tennis, or in attending or assisting at some neighbouring bazaar or
+fancy fair, as in this month county bazaars are very popular, and the
+visitors at one house lend their services in conjunction with the
+visitors at another, to hold stalls at a bazaar got up by a third
+influential lady; and thus the stalls are well stocked, and the
+fashionable stall-holders give an impetus to the whole affair.
+
+Ladies see very little of the gentlemen between breakfast and dinner.
+The shooters start about eleven, and seldom return much before seven.
+
+When it is dark at four, those who prefer ladies' society and tea to the
+smoking-room and billiards, make themselves presentable and join the
+ladies.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards the Etiquette of Visiting at Bachelors' Houses.=--It is
+thoroughly understood that ladies should be accompanied by their
+husbands, and young ladies by their father and mother, or by a married
+couple with whom they are on terms of great intimacy, in which case the
+married lady acts as chaperon to the young ladies. Young ladies cannot
+stay at the house of a bachelor unless chaperoned by a married lady, or
+by a female relative of their host. A widow and her daughter could of
+course join a party of ladies staying at a bachelor's house, or stay on
+a visit to him were he alone, or entertaining bachelor friends.
+
+When a bachelor gives a country-house party, and nominally does the
+honours himself, occasionally one of the married ladies of the party
+tacitly takes the lead.
+
+The position of a young widower is similar to that of a bachelor as
+regards society. Later in life, the contrary is the case; a widower with
+grown-up daughters gives entertainments for them, and the eldest
+daughter does the honours, thus reducing the position again to that of
+host and hostess.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVI
+
+HUNTING AND SHOOTING
+
+
+=Ladies in the Hunting-Field.=--There is no arena better fitted to
+display good riding on the part of women than the hunting-field, and no
+better opportunity for the practice of this delightful accomplishment
+and for its thorough enjoyment. It is urged, however, that it argues
+cruelty of disposition and unwomanly feeling to join in the pursuit of a
+poor, miserable, hunted fox, and worse still to be in at the death, and
+that women are liable to be carried away by the enthusiasm of the hour
+to applaud and to witness what they would otherwise shrink from. This
+argument has a certain weight, and deters many from actually hunting who
+would otherwise join in the sport, and they make a compromise by
+regularly attending the meets, and even witnessing a throw-off of a
+fox-break covert. Every strong point that a rider possesses is brought
+out in the field. The canter in the Row, the trot through the
+country-lanes, or the long country ride are very feeble substitutes for
+the intense enjoyment experienced when taking part in a good run; the
+excitement felt and shared in by the whole field exhilarates and
+stimulates, and renders fatigue a thing out of the question, not to be
+thought of until the homeward ride is well over.
+
+Considering the number of ladies who hunt, the accidents that occur are
+surprisingly few, for the obvious reason that ladies do not attempt to
+hunt unless their skill as good horsewomen is beyond all question. Their
+husbands, their fathers, their brothers would not allow them to
+jeopardise their lives, unless their riding and experience, their
+courage, their nerve, and their instruction justified the attempt.
+
+There are also two other weighty considerations necessary to success--a
+good mount, and a good lead. The father or husband invariably selects
+the one, and the friend--either of the fair rider or of the husband or
+brother--gives the all-important lead, without which few ladies venture
+upon hunting, save those few who are independent enough to cut out
+their own work.
+
+Ladies, who are naturally fond of riding, cannot always indulge in the
+pleasure of hunting, on the ground of expense, for instance. A lady may
+possess a fairly good horse for ordinary purposes, to ride in the Row,
+or for country exercise, but very few gentlemen of moderate means can
+afford to keep hunters for the ladies of their families as well as for
+themselves, although, in fiction, this is freely done. If a lady has one
+good hunter of her own, she may expect two days' hunting a week,
+providing the country is not too stiff, and the meets are fairly
+convenient. Occasionally, a mount may be obtained from a good-natured
+friend, whose stud is larger than his requirements; but this is not to
+be depended upon in every-day life, and popular ladies and first-rate
+riders are more in the way of receiving these attentions than the
+general run of ladies.
+
+As regards the presence of young ladies in the hunting-field, there are
+two opinions respecting its advisability, apart from the question of
+whether it is or is not a feminine pursuit. The long ride home in the
+November and December twilight, in the company of some member of the
+hunt, who has become the young lady's cavalier for the time being, is
+not to the taste of many parents; chaperonage must of necessity be
+greatly dispensed with in the hunting-field, and this is an objection
+which many fathers advance against their daughters hunting.
+
+Some husbands entertain equally strict views on this head, and are of
+opinion that the boldest rider and the best lead to follow in the
+field is not always the guest they would most desire to see at their
+own firesides.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Hunt-Breakfasts.=--A lady should not go to a hunt-breakfast at the
+house of a country gentleman if unacquainted with him, or some member of
+his family, unless asked to do so by a mutual acquaintance. All
+gentlemen riding to hounds, whether strangers to the host or not, have
+the privilege of entering any house where a hunt-breakfast is given and
+accepting the hospitality offered. The breakfast, which is in reality a
+cold collation, with the addition of wine, liqueurs, ale, etc., is
+usually laid out in the dining-room, and no ceremony whatever is
+observed; the gentlemen come and go as they please.
+
+The mistress of the house should either be present at a hunt-breakfast
+and receive the ladies who arrive in the hall or dining-room, or she
+should receive them in the drawing-room, where refreshments should be
+brought to them.
+
+When a hostess intends riding to hounds, she is often mounted before her
+neighbours arrive, in which case she invites them to enter the house for
+refreshments, if they care to do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gentlemen who go down into a County= for a few days' hunting only
+seldom wear "pink," and prefer riding to hounds in black coats.
+
+The members of the hunt wear pink as a matter of course, but it is
+considered better taste for a stranger to wear a black coat than to
+appear in a _new_, _very new_, unspecked red one.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Sporting Terms.=--Persons unversed in matters appertaining to "country
+life" and "country sports," town bred, and who have had little or no
+opportunity of acquiring a knowledge of the subject from personal
+experience, can hardly fail to commit many and various mistakes when
+brought into contact with sportsmen and their sports.
+
+A knowledge of sporting matters and sporting terms, and the etiquette
+observed by sportsmen, is only arrived at by associating with those
+thoroughly conversant with the subject, and with whom "sport" has formed
+part of their education so to speak.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Shooting Season commences= on the 12th of August with grouse
+shooting in the north of England, Scotland, and Ireland. Partridge
+shooting commences on the 1st of September and terminates on the 1st of
+February.
+
+The finest partridge shooting is allowed by general consent to be found
+in the eastern counties.
+
+Partridge driving does not take place until January to any great extent.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Pheasant Shooting= commences the 1st of October and terminates the 1st
+of February.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Hares= may be shot up to the 1st of March.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Rabbits= may be shot all the year round.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Rooks= are shot during the spring and summer.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is difficult to make a would-be sportsmen comprehend the strict
+etiquette maintained between the owners of manors; that is to say, he
+would think nothing of crossing the boundary of his host's manor, "gun
+in hand," if he felt inclined to follow a bird or hare he had wounded,
+oblivious of the fact that, in the first place, the greatest
+punctiliousness is observed between gentlemen in the matter of
+trespassing on each other's land when out shooting; and, that unless the
+greatest intimacy existed, a sportsman would hardly venture to pick up
+his dead bird if it had fallen on a neighbour's manor, and would on no
+account look for a wounded bird, but for a dead one only. In the second
+place he would carefully observe the rule of leaving his gun on his own
+side of the boundary, and would certainly not carry it with him to his
+neighbour's land. Those are points that strangers invited for a few
+days' shooting very often fall foul of, creating thereby much
+unpleasantness for their host through their ignorance and inexperience.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a gentleman is invited to join= a shooting-party, it would not be
+necessary for him to take a loader with him, as his host would find a
+man to perform that office for him, unless he had a servant with him
+capable of performing that duty; but if he were residing in the
+neighbourhood he would, as a matter of course, take his loader with him
+when asked to join a shooting-party, and in both cases he would shoot
+with two guns; as to shoot with one gun only causes a vexatious delay.
+
+A frequent cause of offence to sportsmen is for a gentleman to be noisy
+when out shooting, that is to say, to be "loudly talkative," or
+"boisterously merry," or given to indulge in exclamations when a bird
+rises, or when a bird is missed; your true sportsman maintains a strict
+silence.
+
+There are numberless other points relating to field sports wherein the
+"inexperienced sportsman" is apt to give offence, but which would take
+up too much space to enter into in a work of this description.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Fees, or Tips to the Gamekeepers=, vary from 10s. to £5,
+according to the number of days' shooting enjoyed or the extent of the
+bag.
+
+For one day's partridge-shooting the tip to the head gamekeeper would be
+a sovereign; for a good day's pheasant-shooting, as much as two
+sovereigns would probably be given. A gentleman who does not tip or fee
+up to this mark is not likely to find himself too well placed in a
+battue.
+
+The cost of a game licence is £3, and lasts twelve months, from 1st
+August to the 31st of July the following year, or £2 from the 1st of
+August to the 31st of October, or £2 from the 1st of November to the
+31st of July in the following year, or £1 for fourteen days.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII
+
+SHAKING HANDS
+
+
+The etiquette with regard to shaking hands is not an open question, it
+is distinct enough and simple enough for all exigencies, but yet there
+is individual temperament to be taken into account which in many drives
+etiquette out of the field, if by etiquette is understood not merely
+stiff propriety of action, but politeness in the truest sense of the
+word, and doing that which is exactly the right thing to do. Etiquette
+rules when to shake hands and when not to do so, when to bow and when
+not to bow; but in spite of this knowledge, which is within every one's
+reach, there are many mistakes made on this head.
+
+For instance, one does not offer to shake hands when expected to do so;
+another offers to shake hands three times; one displays unwarrantable
+warmth in shaking hands; another extends two fingers only; one shakes
+hands in a limp and uncomfortable manner, and takes the extended hand
+merely to drop it; another literally pumps the extended hand, or crushes
+the rings into a lady's fingers when shaking hands with her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A lady who does not shake hands= when expected to do so is actuated by
+one or other of the following reasons--she did not wish to shake hands
+with a certain acquaintance, and preferred to bow only, or she was not
+aware whether she should have shaken hands or not.
+
+The gentlemen who shake hands with great warmth and _empressement_ are
+two distinct individuals; the one is cordial and large-hearted, and has
+a friendly grasp for every one--a grasp indicative of kindliness,
+geniality, and good fellowship--the other wishes to ingratiate himself
+in certain quarters, and loses no opportunity of demonstratively
+shaking hands, but no one is deceived by this spurious imitation of
+the real thing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a lady gives but two fingers= to people whom she does not care
+about, she is always a person who fancies herself, and who feels very
+fine; she doubtless is, but her good breeding and her good feeling are
+both in question when she takes this method of showing the superiority
+of herself and her position over that of other people.
+
+There are other eccentricities indulged in by different people who shake
+hands when they should not, and people who do not shake hands when they
+should.
+
+It depends upon whom a lady is introduced to, or upon who is introduced
+to her, whether she should or should not shake hands. She should not
+shake hands on being casually introduced to a person altogether a
+stranger to her; but yet there are so many occasions when it is both
+proper and correct to shake hands on being introduced, that the rule on
+this head is a very elastic one.
+
+For instance, a host and hostess should shake hands with every stranger
+introduced to them at their house.
+
+A lady should shake hands on being introduced to the relations of her
+intended husband.
+
+A lady should shake hands on being introduced to the friend of an
+intimate friend.
+
+When a lady has entered into conversation to any extent with some one to
+whom she has been introduced, and finds she has much in common with her,
+she should shake hands on taking leave; but if she has only exchanged a
+few commonplace sentences, a bow would be all that is necessary.
+
+A lady usually takes the initiative with regard to shaking hands as with
+bowing; but in reality it is a spontaneous movement, made by both lady
+and gentleman at the same moment, as the hand ought not to be extended
+or the bow given unless expected and instantaneously reciprocated.
+
+A young lady should not offer to shake hands with one not expectant of
+the honour.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Shaking hands on taking leave= is, with some few people, a graceful and
+pleasant fashion of saying good-bye; intimate friends hold the hand
+while the last words are being said. Women hold each other's hands thus
+on parting, and some few men take each other's hands; but with them it
+is rather a foreign fashion, and is principally followed by those who
+have lived much on the Continent; for, as a rule, an Englishman prefers
+the hearty English shake of the hand.
+
+A lady having once shaken hands with another, should continue to do so
+at subsequent meetings, unless a coolness of manner warns her that a bow
+would be more acceptable.
+
+With regard to shaking hands at a dinner-party with acquaintances: if
+the dinner-party is a small one, and there is time to shake hands, it is
+correct to do so; but when there is little time before dinner, and no
+good opportunity for shaking hands, bows to acquaintances at distant
+parts of the room, or when seated at the dinner-table, are sufficient
+recognition for the time being.
+
+At an evening-party it depends upon opportunity whether acquaintances
+shake hands or not.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The fashion of raising the arm= when shaking hands is followed by very
+few in the exaggerated style in which it was first introduced, but a
+modification of it has distinctly become the fashion in general society.
+
+The hand, instead of being extended straight out, is now offered on a
+line or parallel with the chest, a trifle higher than the old-fashioned
+style, and the fingers of the hand are held and gently shaken, but the
+palm is not grasped or even touched.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII
+
+CHAPERONS AND DÉBUTANTES
+
+
+An unmarried lady, unless she be a maiden-lady of a recognised age and
+standing, cannot act as an orthodox chaperon; but, on the other hand,
+a young married lady could do so with the greatest propriety, as could
+a brother from the age of eighteen; of other relatives it is not
+necessary to speak.
+
+Young ladies are now frequently asked to dinner-parties without a
+chaperon, a hostess constituting herself chaperon for the occasion.
+Dances are also given to which it is understood chaperons are _not_
+invited, the hostess again acting in that capacity, but at large balls
+and dances chaperonage is considered indispensable for young ladies. At
+theatres and evening concerts chaperonage is distinctly required; but at
+morning concerts and _matinées_, companionship rather than chaperonage
+is needed.
+
+As regards morning hours. Young ladies may now walk together in the Park
+and elsewhere; ride together, attend classes together or alone, go to
+luncheon or afternoon tea alone or together at the houses of friends and
+acquaintances, quite unaccompanied by a chaperon. They may also visit at
+country houses without a chaperon, the hostess performing this duty.
+
+At all out-door gatherings, such as garden-parties, tennis-parties,
+cricket-matches, golf-meetings, etc., the chaperonage required is of the
+slightest, and for which any might be made available.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX
+
+PRESENTATIONS AT THE VICEREGAL COURT, DUBLIN CASTLE
+
+
+The Drawing-rooms at Dublin Castle are held by the Lord-Lieutenant of
+Ireland and his wife, in St. Patrick's Hall, at 10.15 o'clock p.m.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady who desires= a presentation at the Viceregal Court must be
+presented by a lady who has herself been presented thereat, and it is
+necessary that she herself should be present on the occasion, save
+under exceptional circumstances. A lady is not allowed to present
+more than _two_ ladies, except in special cases to be sanctioned by
+His Excellency.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady who proposes being presented= at a Viceregal Drawing-room must
+send to the Chamberlain's office by five o'clock, three days previous to
+the Drawing-room, a card with her name and address both in town and
+country, and the name and address of the lady by whom she is to be
+presented distinctly written thereon, and stating which Drawing-room she
+wishes to attend, to be submitted to the Lord-Lieutenant and his wife
+for their Excellencies' approval. Also two Presentation Cards must be
+obtained at the Chamberlain's office two days before the
+Drawing-room--if they have not previously been sent by post--and must be
+filled in with the necessary particulars, and taken to the Castle on the
+evening of the Drawing-room, one to be delivered to the official
+stationed in the Corridor, and the other to be handed to the
+Chamberlain, who will announce the name. It is requested that the names
+may be very distinctly written upon the cards, that there may be no
+difficulty in announcing them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady attending= a Viceregal Drawing-room, who has been already
+presented at the Viceregal Court, must leave at the Chamberlain's
+office, three days previous to the Drawing-room, a card with her name
+and address, both in town and country, distinctly written thereon, and
+stating which Drawing-room she wishes to attend. She must bring with her
+two similar cards on the evening of the Drawing-room, one to be given to
+the official in the Corridor, and the other to the Chamberlain, who will
+announce the name.
+
+A lady on entering the Castle on the evening of a Drawing-room towards
+ten o'clock, finds the hall lined with soldiers, and repairs at once to
+the cloak-room to leave wraps, etc., and to have her train dexterously
+arranged over one arm by a female attendant. She then proceeds up the
+grand staircase, lined with servants in gorgeous liveries, and enters
+the Corridor, where one of the Presentation Cards is given up to the
+official in attendance, and she passes down the Corridor into the Long
+Drawing-room, where a barrier of wood, enclosing a space, is erected at
+the end. One of the gentlemen of the Household lifts this barrier at
+intervals to allow of a certain number passing through to the
+Throne-room, at the door of which her train is let down and arranged by
+men-servants. If she is to be "presented," the Chamberlain tells her to
+take off her right-hand glove, and, if royalty is present, informs her
+that she must make three bows, and says, "Three bows, please." She gives
+up her second Presentation Card to him, and he calls out her name, and
+it is passed along to His Excellency by the gentlemen of the household.
+The Lord-Lieutenant and his wife stand on a daïs, he standing in front
+of the Throne, which is a grand chair of State, and on either side--in
+what are known as the "Pens"--are grouped the visitors staying at the
+Castle, those who have the private _entrée_, and the members of the
+Household. The name of the lady who makes the presentation is also
+called out. The lady presented advances, the Lord-Lieutenant shakes
+hands with her, but does not now kiss her on the cheek; she then makes
+him a bow, and bows to his wife, who bows in return. She then retires
+back to the door leading into the Long Drawing-room, where her train is
+replaced over her arm. She then proceeds to St. Patrick's Hall, or to
+the Picture Gallery.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ladies who attend= the Drawing-room only bow to the Lord-Lieutenant and
+his wife; he bows to them, but he does not shake hands with them or kiss
+them. In Ireland men invariably accompany their wives to the
+Drawing-room, having previously attended the Levée; they pass along
+the base of the semi-circle, and make their bows at the same time as
+do the ladies.
+
+When all have been received and have assembled in St. Patrick's Hall,
+a procession is formed, the Lord-Lieutenant walking first, followed
+by his wife, whose train is carried by pages. The visitors staying at
+the Castle follow next, and then the members of the Household, the
+band stationed in the gallery playing "God Save the King" the while.
+All those present form up in two lines to make a passage for the
+procession to pass through, and bow low to His Excellency and his wife
+as they pass.
+
+A supper is not given, only light refreshments of every description.
+These refreshments are arranged on long tables on one side of St.
+Patrick's Hall, and at the lower end, under the gallery, tables are
+placed for tea, coffee, wine, etc. On the opposite side of the hall
+red-cushioned seats are placed, and the company promenade in and around
+the Picture Gallery and St. Patrick's Hall during the remainder of
+the evening.
+
+Ladies wear full Court dress as at Buckingham Palace, and gentlemen
+uniform or Court dress.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Levées.=--Every nobleman or gentleman who proposes to attend a Levée,
+and who has not yet been received at the Viceregal Court, must be
+introduced by a nobleman or gentleman who has himself been previously
+presented thereat.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Gentleman who proposes= to be presented must send to the Gentleman
+Usher's office by five o'clock, two or three days before the Levée, a
+card with his name and address, both in town and country, and the name
+and address of the gentleman by whom he is to be presented distinctly
+written thereon, to be submitted for the Lord-Lieutenant's approval. He
+must also obtain two Presentation Cards from the Gentleman Usher's
+office, and must take them to the Castle on the day of the Levée, the
+one to be given to the official in the Corridor, and the other to be
+handed to the Gentleman Usher, who will announce the name to the
+Lord-Lieutenant.
+
+Any gentleman who proposes to attend a Levée, having been previously
+presented, must also take two cards with him to the Castle on the day of
+the Levée, with his name and address, both in town and country, clearly
+written thereon, to be given up as before mentioned. Again, a gentleman
+who, having previously attended the Levée, proposes attending the
+Drawing-room, is requested to bring with him _one_ card, with his name
+distinctly written upon it, to be left in the Corridor. All those
+entitled to the private _entrée_ at Dublin Castle, and availing
+themselves of the privilege, are permitted to be accompanied only by
+their wives and unmarried daughters.
+
+Gentlemen wear Court dress or naval and military uniforms, or the
+uniforms of Lords-Lieutenants of Counties, or of the Royal Irish
+Constabulary, etc. The Academical habit cannot be worn except when
+presenting an address from a university. Foreign orders and decorations
+cannot be worn at the Court of Dublin by British subjects without
+special authority under His Majesty's royal licence.
+
+The right-hand glove should be removed before Presentation.
+
+Gentlemen who, having previously attended the Levée, are desirous of
+accompanying the ladies of their families to the Drawing-room, are
+requested to apply to the Chamberlain's office for an Attendance Card,
+which should be brought to the Castle on the evening of the Drawing-room
+and given up in the Corridor.
+
+Presentations in London do not count as Presentations at the
+Viceregal Court.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XL
+
+HOSTESSES
+
+
+=The Art of receiving Guests= is a very subtle one, difficult to
+acquire; but when acquired and thoroughly mastered it confers upon
+a mistress of a house an enviable reputation--that of being a
+perfect hostess.
+
+With some this is in-bred, and grace and composure and all the attendant
+attributes which are to be found in this type of hostess sit naturally
+upon them; but the individuals so gifted represent the few rather than
+the many. A far greater section of society has to rely upon experience
+to teach them this useful accomplishment, while with others time alone
+can aid them in overcoming natural reserve, and want of confidence in
+themselves, which stand in the way of their assuming this character with
+anything like success. Those ladies who are innately thoughtless and
+careless in this respect, neither time nor experience can mould, and
+what they are at the commencement of their career, they remain to the
+end of the chapter--very indifferent hostesses. There are varieties of
+hostesses, according to individual capabilities, and who are known
+amongst their friends by these appellations: first ranks the perfect or
+"charming hostess," either title suits her equally well; next to her
+comes the "good hostess," she is followed by the one who is "not a good
+hostess"; and the rear is brought up by the one who is decidedly "a bad
+hostess." Amongst the salient points which distinguish the perfect or
+charming hostess are perhaps, foremost, a certain facility of putting
+each individual guest at ease, conveying that the welcome she accords is
+a personal if not an especial one. Simultaneously with these agreeable
+impressions is conveyed a sense of the hostess's genial qualities; her
+charm of manner, her graciousness and her courteous bearing evincing so
+plainly that she is entirely mistress of the situation: these qualities
+insensibly react upon the guests, and evoke a corresponding desire to
+please on their part.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The perfect hostess= possesses yet another advantage, viz. a readiness
+of speech, a faculty of saying the right thing at the right moment and
+to the right person, and of identifying herself, so to speak, with the
+susceptibilities of each of her guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The good hostess= is essentially what is known as a considerate
+hostess; she makes up for the brighter qualities in which she is lacking
+by her extreme consideration for her guests. In the charming hostess
+this consideration is eclipsed by her more brilliant powers of pleasing,
+it permeates all she does, while in the good hostess it is her strongest
+point, and upon which is founded her claim to the name. The lady who
+bears the undesirable reputation of being "not a good hostess" is not
+"good" in a variety of ways; she means well and does her utmost to
+succeed, but by some contrariety of the laws which regulate domestic and
+social affairs, the results of her efforts are always the reverse of
+what she would have them be. The lady who is not a good hostess
+sometimes suffers from shyness and reserve which renders her stiff in
+manner when she would most desire to be cordial, silent when she would
+be most loquacious, and awkward when she would be at ease.
+
+As there are many reasons why ladies prove to be good hostesses, so
+there are many reasons why they prove bad hostesses, selfishness and
+want of consideration for others contribute to these, as do
+procrastination and a vague idea of the value of time. Ladies with such
+faults and weaknesses as these produce very much the same impression
+upon their guests, although, perhaps, one is a little less culpable than
+is the other.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The selfish hostess is a bad hostess=, because, providing she is
+amused, she is utterly indifferent as to whether her guests are amused
+or not, her own pleasure and gratification being of paramount
+importance. Instead of being in readiness to receive her guests she
+descends late to the drawing-room to welcome them, and is indifferent as
+to whether there is any one to greet them or not.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The procrastinating hostess=, although she is equally in fault, yet, as
+she hastens to excuse herself, when lacking in politeness to, or
+consideration for her guests, her excuses are sometimes admitted; but
+the selfish hostess, if she deigns to excuse herself, does so with such
+a palpable show of indifference as to her guests' opinion of her
+actions, that the excuse is oftener than not an aggravation of the
+offence. A lady who has no regard for time goes to her room to dress at
+the moment when she should be descending to the drawing-room; or she
+remains out driving when she should be returning; or she puts off making
+some very important arrangement for the comfort or amusement of her
+guests until it is too late for anything but a makeshift to be thought
+of, if it has not to be dispensed with altogether. Everything that she
+does or projects is on the same scale of procrastination; her
+invitations, her orders and engagements, are one and all effected
+against time, and neither herself nor her guests gain the value or
+satisfaction of the hospitality put forth. The bad hostess walks into
+her drawing-room when many of her guests are assembled, either for a
+dinner-party or afternoon tea, and shakes hands in an awkward, abashed
+manner, almost as if she were an unexpected guest instead of the
+mistress of the house.
+
+The host is not at his ease; he is provoked at having to make excuses
+for his wife, and the guests are equally constrained.
+
+If the host is of a sarcastic turn of mind, he never refrains from
+saying something the reverse of amiable to the hostess on her entrance.
+"My dear," he will perhaps remark, "you are doubtless not aware that we
+have friends dining with us this evening." This remark renders the
+guests even more uncomfortable and the hostess less self-possessed, and
+this is often the prelude to an inharmonious evening, with a host whose
+brow is clouded and a hostess whose manner is abashed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The mode of receiving guests= is determined by the nature of the
+entertainment. A welcome accorded to some two or three hundred
+guests cannot be as personal a one as that offered to some ten to
+thirty guests.
+
+Whatever disappointment a hostess may feel she should not allow it to
+appear on the surface, and should not be _distrait_ in manner when
+shaking hands with her guests. At large or small gatherings
+disappointments follow in the course of events, and very few hostesses
+can say that they have not experienced this in a larger or smaller
+degree at each and all of their entertainments.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At a ball or evening-party= a hostess should receive her guests at the
+head of the staircase, and should remain there until the majority, if
+not all, of the guests have arrived.
+
+As the names of the guests are announced the hostess should shake hands
+with each, addressing some courteous observation the while, not with a
+view of inducing them to linger on the staircase, but rather of inviting
+them to enter the ball-room to make way for other guests.
+
+At a ball given at a country house the hostess should stand at the door
+of the ball-room and receive her guests. When the guests have duly
+arrived, a hostess at a country-house ball or country-house theatricals
+should exert herself to see that all her guests are amused. If she sees
+that the young ladies are not dancing she should endeavour to find them
+partners. In town she is not required to do this. If the chaperons have
+apparently no one to talk to she should introduce one of her own
+relatives, if she cannot give much of her own attention to them, and she
+should arrange that all her guests are taken in to supper.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At large afternoon "at homes"= the hostess receives her guests at the
+open door of the drawing-room, and has little more time to bestow upon
+each than at a ball or an "at home." At small afternoon "at homes" she
+should receive them in the drawing-room, and should rise and shake hands
+with each arrival.
+
+A hostess should receive her dinner guests in the drawing-room, and
+should shake hands with each in the order of arrival. She occasionally
+finds it a trying ordeal to sustain conversation between the arrival of
+dinner guests and the dinner being served; sometimes this is prolonged
+for three-quarters of an hour through the non-appearance of a guest who
+must be waited for. A hostess should, although she knows that her dinner
+is spoilt by being thus kept back, endeavour to make the time pass as
+pleasantly as possible, by rendering the conversation general and by
+making the guests acquainted with each other. The hostess who can tide
+over these awkward occurrences so that the postponement of dinner from
+half to three-quarters of an hour is hardly perceived, proves herself to
+be entitled to be considered a good hostess.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLI
+
+THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF LADY PATRONESSES OF PUBLIC BALLS
+
+
+=Ladies are frequently solicited= to allow their names to be placed on
+the lists of lady patronesses of charity balls. A ball committee is
+desirous of obtaining a list of influential names to lend _éclat_ and
+prestige to the ball, and a charity ball often numbers amongst its lady
+patronesses the names of many of the leading members of the nobility,
+followed by those of the wives of the leading county gentry, or by the
+principal residents of a watering-place or county town; but it is
+understood, as a rule, that the duty of giving vouchers or tickets for a
+charity ball is undertaken by those ladies who are more directly
+interested in it, whose husbands are on the committee, who make a point
+of annually attending it, and thus are principally concerned in keeping
+it select; and although in many counties and in many towns lady
+patronesses, members of the nobility, do attend, yet it not unfrequently
+happens that out of a long list of great ladies only three or four are
+present at a ball.
+
+The members of the leading nobility and gentry of a neighbourhood
+invariably lend their names to local charity balls, and head the list of
+patrons and patronesses, but beyond lending their names, and in some
+cases sending a subscription of money towards the funds of the charity,
+or a present of game towards the supper, they have very little to do
+with the ball itself, which is practically in the hands of the local
+stewards. The exceptions to this rule are the charity balls held in town
+during the season, such as the Royal Caledonian Ball, the Yorkshire, the
+Wiltshire, and the Somersetshire Societies' Balls. On these occasions
+many of the great ladies give vouchers and attend the balls.
+
+When ladies consent to become lady patronesses of a ball, they usually
+notify to the committee whether they will or will not undertake the duty
+of giving vouchers or tickets, as the case may be. Some ball committees
+arrange that vouchers are to be given by lady patronesses, to be
+subsequently exchanged for tickets, signed and filled in with the name
+of the person to whom the ticket is given. The lady patronesses in this
+case receive the money charged for the tickets, and forward it to the
+committee after the ball, with any tickets that they may not have
+disposed of.
+
+The ladies who exert themselves to sell tickets are generally those who
+possess a large acquaintance, whose husbands are members of clubs;
+therefore, if any person ought to be tabooed for some good social
+reason, the lady patronesses reap the benefit of their husbands'
+knowledge, and are thus able to give a polite refusal when tickets are
+applied for for persons who are not altogether desirable.
+
+It is no doubt a difficult and delicate task for the lady patronesses of
+a large ball to keep it thoroughly select, and if not very particular
+respecting those for whom tickets are granted, a ball, though a full
+one, is likely to prove a very mixed affair, if not somewhat
+objectionable, by reason of the presence of persons to whom tickets
+should never have been granted, on moral if not on social grounds; and
+though the funds of a charity may gain considerably by the increase of
+numbers, through a general willingness on the part of the committee or
+the lady patronesses to grant tickets to every one who may apply for
+them, yet such policy is very short-sighted, and is seldom practised
+by those who possess any practical knowledge in the matter, as it is
+fatal to the reputation of a ball if persons who are objectionable are
+present at it.
+
+In the case of a ticket being applied for for a person of doubtful
+antecedents, a lady patroness's best course is to refer the applicant to
+the ball committee for tickets or vouchers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Persons not well received in society=, or who have ostracised
+themselves, have a predilection for public balls, and make every effort
+to obtain tickets of admission; and in some cases, when a refusal has
+been pronounced by the committee of a ball, the committee has been
+threatened with legal proceedings.
+
+Unmarried ladies seldom or ever act as lady patronesses, it not
+being considered advisable to place the discretion of granting
+tickets in their hands, lest their ignorance of the world should be
+taken advantage of.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The lady patronesses of a charity ball= who undertake to give vouchers
+or to sell tickets, usually exert themselves to the utmost in inducing
+as many of their friends as possible to attend the ball.
+
+It depends upon the committee of a charity ball whether tickets are
+presented or not to the lady patronesses and stewards; but if the funds
+of the charity are not at a very low ebb, this is generally done in
+recognition of their services.
+
+The responsibilities of lady patronesses of private subscription balls
+are light in comparison with those of public charity balls, as persons
+who attend subscription balls are usually on the visiting lists of
+one or other of the lady patronesses, while with regard to county
+balls, lady patronesses are not usually concerned in the disposal of
+the tickets.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLII
+
+PERIODS OF MOURNING
+
+
+=The Various Periods of Mourning= for relatives have within the last few
+years been materially shortened, and the change generally accepted; but
+as some still prefer to adhere to the longest periods prescribed by
+custom, in the present chapter both periods are given, and it entirely
+depends upon individual feeling and circumstances which of the two
+periods is observed.
+
+The time-honoured custom of wearing crape has greatly declined, and with
+the exception of widows, many do not wear it at all, while others wear
+it as a trimming only.
+
+A slighter change has also taken place in favour of half-mourning
+colours, which are now more worn than black and white during the
+half-mourning period.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Court Mourning= when enjoined is imperative, the orders respecting
+which are minutely given from the Lord Chamberlain's office and
+published in the official _Gazette_; but these orders only apply to
+persons connected with the Court, or to persons attending Courts,
+Levées, State Balls, State Concerts, etc.
+
+When the order for general mourning is given on the death of any member
+of the Royal Family, the order applies to all, although it is optional
+whether the general public comply with it or not.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Longest Period for a Widow's Mourning= is two years. The shorter
+period is eighteen months. Formerly crape was worn for one year and
+nine months; for the first twelve months the dress was entirely covered
+with crape. The newer fashion in widows' mourning is to wear crape as a
+trimming only, and to discontinue its wear after six or eight months,
+while some few widows do not wear it at all during their mourning, it
+being optional wear.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Half-Mourning= in the longer period commences after a year and nine
+months, and is worn for three months. In the shorter period
+half-mourning may commence after fifteen months, and be continued for
+three months.
+
+The period for wearing the widow's cap and veil is a year and a day. The
+veil may be _crêpe lisse_ or _chiffon_ in place of crape. It is now the
+fashion for young widows to wear the cap as a head-dress only, while
+others do not wear it at all.
+
+Lawn cuffs and collars are worn during the first year, or for six months
+only, or not at all. After the first year white neckbands and white
+strings to the bonnet may be worn. Also hats in place of bonnets.
+Further touches of white may follow during the next three months.
+
+After a year gold ornaments may be worn; diamonds earlier.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Widowers= should wear mourning for one year; they usually enter society
+after three months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Parent= the period of mourning is twelve months; ten months
+black, two months half-mourning, or eight months black and four months
+half-mourning. The black may be relieved with touches of white after
+three months. Crape is optional; many prefer not to wear it at all,
+others as a trimming.
+
+Diamonds--earrings, brooches, etc.--before gold, at the end of
+three months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Son or Daughter= the period of mourning is identical with
+the foregoing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For very Young Children or Infants= the mourning is frequently
+shortened by half this period, or even to three months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Stepmother.=--The period of mourning depends upon whether the
+stepdaughters reside at home or not, or whether their father has been
+long married, or whether their father's second wife has filled the place
+of mother to them, in which case the period of mourning would be for
+twelve months, otherwise the period is six months--four months black
+relieved with touches of white after two months, followed by two months
+half-mourning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Brother or Sister= the longest period of mourning is six months,
+the shortest period four months.
+
+During the longest period, viz. six months, black should be worn for
+five months, with a little white after two months, half-mourning for one
+month. After one month diamonds, pins, and brooches, etc.; gold after
+two months.
+
+During the shortest period, viz. four months, black should be worn for
+two months, half-mourning two months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Sister-in-law or a Brother-in-law= the period of mourning was
+formerly the same as for a brother or sister, but the four months'
+period is now the one usually chosen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Grandparent= the longest period of mourning is six months, the
+shortest four months.
+
+During the longest period black should be worn for three months,
+relieved with white after six weeks, half-mourning for three months;
+diamonds after one month, gold after six weeks or two months.
+
+During the shortest period black should be worn for two months,
+half-mourning for two months.
+
+The custom of wearing crape may now be said to have gone out of fashion
+as regards etiquette, black being considered adequate mourning, save in
+the case of widows.
+
+The former crape periods were six months for parents and children, three
+months for brothers and sisters, three months for grandparents.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For an Uncle or Aunt= the longest period of mourning is three months,
+the shortest period six weeks.
+
+During the longest period black (no crape) should be worn for two
+months, half-mourning one month.
+
+During the shortest period black for three weeks, half-mourning for
+three weeks; diamonds after three weeks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Nephew or Niece= the periods of mourning are identical with
+the foregoing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For an Uncle or Aunt by Marriage= the period is six weeks black, or
+three weeks black and three weeks half-mourning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Great Uncle or Aunt= the longest period is two months, the
+shortest one month.
+
+During the longest period black for one month, half-mourning for
+one month.
+
+During the shortest period black for one month.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a First Cousin= the longest period is six weeks, the shortest
+one month.
+
+During the longest period black for three weeks, half-mourning for
+three weeks.
+
+During the shortest period black for one month.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Second Cousin= three weeks black. Mourning for a second cousin is
+not obligatory, but quite optional, and often not worn.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Husband's Relations= the periods of mourning chosen are
+invariably the shorter ones.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Daughter-in-law or Son-in-law= the periods are now shortened to
+six months; four months black and two months half-mourning, or three
+months black and three months half-mourning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Parents of a Son-in-law or Daughter-in-law= the period is one
+month, black.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Parents of a First Wife= a second wife should wear mourning for
+one month, black relieved with white.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Brother or Sister of a First Wife= a second wife should wear
+mourning for three weeks, but this is not obligatory, and depends upon
+the intimacy existing between the two families.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Much Latitude is allowed to Men= with regard to the foregoing periods
+of mourning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Hat-band should be worn= during the whole of each period, but it is
+not imperative to wear suits of black longer than half the periods
+given, save in the case of widowers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Servants' Mourning.=--It is customary to give servants mourning on the
+death of the head of the house, which should be worn during the period
+the members of the family are in mourning. Mourning given to servants
+on the death of a son or daughter is quite an optional matter.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Seclusion from Society.=--The question as to how soon persons in
+mourning should or should not re-enter society is in some measure an
+open one, and is also influenced by the rules that govern the actual
+period of mourning adopted.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Widow is not expected to enter into Society= under three months, and
+during that time she should neither accept invitations nor issue them.
+Her visiting should be confined to her relations and intimate friends.
+After three months she should commence gradually to enter into society,
+but balls and dances should be avoided during the first year.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Daughter mourning for a Parent= the period of seclusion is six
+weeks as far as general society is concerned; but invitations to balls
+and dances should not be accepted until after six months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Parent mourning for a Son or Daughter= the period of seclusion is
+the same as is that of a daughter for a parent.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Brother or Sister= the period of seclusion is three weeks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For Grandparents= the period of seclusion is from a fortnight to
+three weeks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For an Uncle or Aunt= the period is a fortnight to three weeks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For all Other Periods of Mourning= seclusion from society is not
+considered requisite.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When Persons in Mourning= intend entering again into society, they
+should leave cards on their friends and acquaintances as an intimation
+that they are equal to paying and receiving calls.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When Cards of Inquiry have been left=, viz. visiting cards with "To
+inquire after Mrs. A----" written on the top on right-hand corner of the
+cards, they should be returned by cards with "Thanks for kind inquiries"
+written upon them (see Chapter III.).
+
+Until this intimation has been given, society does not venture to
+intrude upon the seclusion of those in mourning.
+
+Relations and intimate friends are exempt from this received rule.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Funerals.=--When a death occurs in a family, as soon as the day and
+hour for the funeral are fixed, a member of the family should write to
+those relatives and friends it is desired should follow, and should ask
+them to attend, unless the date, time, and place of the funeral, and the
+train by which to travel to the cemetery, are mentioned in the
+newspaper, together with the announcement of the death.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is a Mistake to suppose that Friends= will offer to attend a
+funeral, even if they are aware of the date fixed, as they are naturally
+in doubt as to whether the mourners are to include the members of the
+family only, or whether friends are to be included also.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In the Country, when a Doctor= has attended a family for some years,
+it is usual to invite him to attend the funeral of one of its members.
+In town this is seldom done, unless a medical man is the intimate friend
+of the family.
+
+In the country the clergyman of the parish reads the funeral service,
+but in town, when the funeral takes place at Kensal Green, Brookwood
+Cemetery, or elsewhere, a friend of the family is usually asked to
+officiate; in which case it is necessary to make an early application
+at the office of the cemetery for the use of the chapel at a
+particular hour.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is customary for Ladies to attend= the funeral of a relative if
+disposed to do so, in which case they wear their usual mourning attire,
+and follow in their own carriages.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Doctor's Certificate= as to the cause of death is of primary
+importance, and should be obtained at the earliest possible moment.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Memorial Cards should not be sent= on the death of a relative, being
+quite out of date as regards fashion and custom.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Wreaths and Crosses= of white flowers are very generally sent by
+relatives and friends to a house of mourning the day of the funeral,
+unless "No flowers, by request" follows the announcement of the death.
+
+When the funeral takes place before two o'clock, the friends should be
+invited to luncheon. When it takes place in the afternoon, they should
+be asked to return to the house for tea or light refreshment.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLIII
+
+ENGAGED
+
+
+It greatly depends upon the views held by parents as to the freedom of
+action accorded to a daughter during her engagement. Some entertain the
+strictest ideas on this head, and strenuously put them in force.
+
+By "strict ideas" is meant that an engaged couple, except in the
+presence of a chaperon, are never, under any circumstances, permitted to
+enjoy a _tête-à-tête_, sit together, walk together, ride together, or
+meet during any part of the day.
+
+Wisdom and common-sense dictate a middle course of action for the
+consideration of parents, neither granting too much nor withholding
+too much.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The length of an engagement= determines in most instances the degree of
+latitude allowed. If it is to last two months, or even less, it is usual
+to permit the engaged couple to be much in each other's society. The
+circumstances under which this is accomplished depend upon the position
+of the parents; if wealthy, and a country house is part of their
+possessions, the young lady's father should invite the gentleman engaged
+to his daughter on a visit, or one or two visits, during the engagement.
+
+Or the mother of the bridegroom-elect should invite her future
+daughter-in-law to stay with her for ten days or a fortnight.
+
+Etiquette prescribes that a young lady must be chaperoned by one of her
+near relatives at all public places of amusement.
+
+If an engaged couple move in the same set, they meet frequently at the
+houses of mutual friends; they are sent in to dinner together when
+dining out.
+
+To dance with each other at a ball, or dance more than three or four
+times in succession, and when not dancing to sit out in tea-rooms and
+conservatories, renders an engaged couple conspicuous, and this is
+precisely what many mothers are most anxious that their daughters should
+avoid being, and would rather that they were over-prudent than that they
+should run the gauntlet of general criticism.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The usual course for engaged couples= to take is to go as little into
+society as possible during their engagement, and to make the engagement
+as brief as circumstances will permit. If from various causes it must of
+necessity be a long one, the only alternative for an engaged couple is
+to render themselves as little conspicuous in general society as a
+mutual understanding will permit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When an engagement is first announced=, if the families are not
+previously acquainted, the father, mother, and relatives of the
+bridegroom-elect should call on the father and mother of the bride-elect
+at an early date, to make the acquaintance of the bride and her family,
+and they should write to the bride-elect expressing their approval of
+the engagement.
+
+The calls should be returned and the letters answered with the least
+possible delay.
+
+The engagement should be announced to relatives and intimate friends by
+the mother of the engaged young lady, and if the announcement is to
+appear in the papers it should be sent by her.
+
+The bride should ask the sisters and cousins of the bridegroom to act as
+bridesmaids in conjunction with her own sisters and cousins.
+
+When an engagement is broken off, all letters and presents should be
+returned on both sides.
+
+All wedding presents received by the bride-elect should be likewise
+returned to the donors.
+
+The mother of the bride should announce to all whom it may concern, the
+fact that the engagement is at an end.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLIV
+
+SILVER WEDDINGS
+
+
+The German custom of celebrating Silver Weddings has become thoroughly
+recognised in this country. It is an interesting custom to celebrate the
+first twenty-five years of married life under the poetic title of a
+Silver Wedding, but those who can do so must be for many reasons the
+few, rather than the many; Royal personages, and distinguished and
+prominent ones for instance, and again, those in humbler walks of life
+"far from the madding crowd," are also inclined to do so; but the
+"crowd" that divides them, formed of different classes and different
+sets in society, will hardly avail itself of the opportunity of
+celebrating this period of married life. Husbands as a rule dislike the
+fuss and parade and prominency it entails, and wives are disinclined to
+announce to their friends and acquaintances that they have been married
+five and twenty years, and are consequently not so young as they were.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The entertainments given to celebrate a Silver Wedding= are: An
+afternoon reception and a dinner-party. A dinner-party followed by an
+evening-party. A dinner-party followed by a dance. Or a dinner-party
+only, of some twenty or thirty covers.
+
+The invitations are issued on "at home" cards some three weeks
+beforehand, the cards being printed in silver, and the words "Mr. and
+Mrs. White at home, To celebrate their Silver Wedding" printed on them,
+with day and date, etc. The dinner cards should also be printed in
+silver, with the words "Mr. and Mrs. White request the pleasure of
+Mr. and Mrs. Black's company at dinner to celebrate their Silver
+Wedding," etc.
+
+For a dance the invitations should be worded "Mr. and Mrs. White at
+home, To celebrate their Silver Wedding." "Dancing" printed in the
+corner of the card.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Each person invited= is expected to send a present in silver, costly
+or trifling as the case may be, whether the invitation is accepted or
+not. These presents should be exhibited in the drawing-room on the day
+of the Silver Wedding with a card attached to each bearing the name of
+the giver.
+
+At the afternoon reception the husband and wife receive the
+congratulations of their friends as they arrive. They enter the tea-room
+together almost immediately afterwards followed by those guests who have
+arrived. Refreshments are served as at an afternoon wedding tea. (See
+page 143) A large wedding-cake is placed in the centre of the table,
+and the wife makes the first cut in it as a bride would do. The health
+of the husband and wife is then proposed by one of the guests, drunk in
+champagne, and responded to by the husband.
+
+At the dinner-party the husband and wife go in to dinner together,
+followed by their guests, who are sent in according to precedency.
+The health of the husband and wife is proposed at dessert and responded
+to. A wedding-cake occupies a prominent place on the table, and
+the dinner-table decorations consist of white flowers interspersed
+with silver.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At the Silver Wedding dance=, the husband and wife dance the first
+dance together, and subsequently lead the way into the supper-room
+arm-in-arm, and later on their health is proposed by the principal guest
+present.
+
+The wife should wear white and silver, or grey and silver.
+
+In the country, when a Silver Wedding is celebrated, the festivities
+sometimes range over three days, but this only in the case of prominent
+and wealthy people; balls, dinners, and school-treats being given, in
+which the neighbours, tenants, villagers and servants take part.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Golden Weddings.=--The celebration of a Golden Wedding is rather an
+English custom, and one that from circumstances can be but seldom
+observed. It denotes that fifty years of married life have passed over
+the heads of husband and wife, and is a solemn rather than a festive
+epoch. Presents on this occasion are not so generally given, and
+children and grandchildren rather than acquaintances make up the circle
+of those who offer congratulations.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLV
+
+SUBSCRIPTION DANCES
+
+
+=Subscription= dances are now an established fact, but whether they will
+ever really become a rival to the dance proper remains to be seen; yet
+as they supply a want felt, and are recognised by society, the
+arrangements necessary for carrying them out should be duly noted.
+
+During the winter months they are a feature in certain sets:
+Subscription dances, private Subscription dances and public Subscription
+dances, the latter got up for charitable purposes.
+
+The moderate expenses incurred by giving private Subscription dances
+commend them to many, and there are other reasons to account for their
+popularity. They are without pretension to being considered smart or
+exclusive, and are essentially small and early dances. Fashionable
+ball-goers are not expected to attend them. They commence at 9 o'clock
+and terminate at 12, light refreshments in lieu of supper are provided,
+as at an afternoon "at home." (See p. 153.) A piano band is considered
+sufficient for the purpose, and floral decorations are scarcely ever
+attempted. The invitations are issued on "at home" cards, with the words
+"Subscription Dance" printed in one corner.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Subscription dances= are sometimes invitation dances and sometimes not.
+Tickets for these dances are charged for singly or by the series as the
+case may be. A certain number of ladies form a committee and agree to
+give a certain number of dances, and the expenses are either borne by
+the ladies themselves or covered by the sale of the tickets. If
+invitation dances, a certain number of invitations are allotted to each
+lady. When otherwise, the ladies dispose of the tickets among their
+friends. These dances are usually held in a mansion hired for the
+purpose, and there are several available in different parts of the West
+End, where spacious rooms can be hired on very moderate terms; in some
+instances a piano, seats, and other accessories are also included.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Public Subscription= dances are held in public rooms or Town Halls, and
+vouchers are given by ladies on the committee previous to tickets being
+granted.
+
+The same etiquette holds good at Subscription dances as at other public
+dances. The early hour at which these dances take place recommends them
+to some and altogether renders them impossible to others, notably to
+those who dine late, and who are not inclined to dance at nine o'clock
+or even at ten o'clock, and who rather resent the frugal style of
+refreshments offered, and consider that a champagne supper is an
+indispensable adjunct to a dance.
+
+It should be remembered that Subscription dances were first originated
+for the amusement of very young people, and it was never expected that
+they would compete with the fashionable small dances of the day; their
+popularity was a surprise, and if ball-goers are disposed to hold them
+in contempt there are others less fashionable and less wealthy who find
+them very much to their taste.
+
+The great difficulty, however, that ladies have to contend with is the
+fact that very few men can be induced to attend them, and that those who
+do accept invitations or purchase tickets are very young men, who have
+their way to make in the world, and are as yet on the lower rungs of
+the ladder, and as young ladies are very much in the majority at these
+Subscription dances, to dance with partners younger than themselves is
+an almost inevitable result for those who are no longer in their teens.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLVI
+
+GIVING PRESENTS
+
+
+As regards presents in general it should be understood that a present
+demands a note of thanks in all cases when the thanks cannot be verbally
+expressed. The notes to slight acquaintances should be written in the
+third person. To friends, in the first person. This applies equally to
+presents of game, poultry, fruit, or flowers. Some few people entertain
+the erroneous idea that presents of this nature do not require thanks.
+This is not only ungracious but raises a doubt in the mind of the giver
+as to whether the present sent has been duly received.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Wedding Presents.=--When an engagement has been duly announced to
+relatives and friends, and it is understood that it is to be a short
+one, wedding presents may be sent until the day before the wedding-day,
+and the earlier they are sent the more convenient it is for the bride,
+as she is expected to write a note of thanks to each giver. In each case
+a letter should be sent with the present expressing the congratulations
+and best wishes of the donor, and, if possible, a card with the name of
+the giver should be attached to it for identification when the presents
+are exhibited.
+
+The friends of the bridegroom, and unacquainted with the bride, should
+send their presents to him, and he should send them to the house of the
+bride's mother after having written notes of thanks to the givers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Christening Presents.=--With regard to christening presents the
+godfathers and godmothers are expected to make presents to their
+godchild; these should be sent the day before the christening, and
+should consist of a silver mug and silver fork and spoon from the
+godfathers, while a lace robe or handsome cloak are usual presents from
+the godmothers. A present of money from 5s. to £1 should be made to the
+nurse on the day of the christening when the godparents are relatives,
+but oftener than not the sponsors are represented by proxy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Giving Tips to Servants.=--The tips expected from ladies at the
+conclusion of a visit of some days, are: To the head housemaid from 2s.
+6d. to 5s. according to the length of the visit. The same to the butler
+or single-handed man servant, and the same to the chauffeur. Young
+ladies give less when visiting by themselves.
+
+The tips expected from gentlemen are: To the butler or footman who
+valets them, to the chauffeur if he drives them to and from the station,
+to the groom if he takes charge of their hunters, also to the head
+housemaid. The tip to the butler or footman who acts as valet is for a
+long visit from 5s. to 10s., and for a short visit from 3s. to 5s. To
+the chauffeur 5s. in the first case, and from 2s. 6d. to 5s. in the
+second. To the housemaid, 2s. 6d. to 5s. For tips to gamekeeper, see p.
+223.
+
+The tips given to hotel servants vary according to the length of the
+visit. To the head waiter from 5s. to 10s. To the second waiter from 2s.
+6d. to 5s. To the hall porter, 2s. to 3s. To the luggage porter, 1s. to
+2s. To the head housemaid in attendance, 2s. 6d. to 4s.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLVII
+
+CHRISTENING PARTIES
+
+
+=Christening Parties= may be said to be strictly family gatherings, only
+the near relatives of the parents being invited on these occasions.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Invitations= are given in friendly notes, and are not issued on "at
+home" cards. The notice averages from a week to ten days according to
+circumstances, meaning the health and strength of the infant's mother.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As a Rule Six Weeks= are allowed to elapse between the birth of the
+child and the date of the christening.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Relatives are either invited= to luncheon after the ceremony, or to
+a reception tea, or to a dinner-party to be given the same evening. If a
+luncheon is decided upon it generally takes place at 1.30, or earlier,
+immediately on the return from the church. The meal usually consists of
+hot viands--game or poultry--not substantial joints. Hot and cold
+sweets. Fruit to follow. A smart christening cake should occupy the
+centre of the table. Champagne, claret, and sherry are given, although
+the former is probably the only one of the three drunk on the occasion;
+this, when the health of the infant is proposed--the only health which
+finds acceptance at these gatherings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Guests go in to Luncheon= quite informally, the ladies and hostess
+entering first, followed by the men guests and the host. They should be
+seated at table by the help of name cards, each lady being placed at the
+right hand of a gentleman. The clergyman who performs the ceremony, if a
+friend, should sit at the hostess's left hand, and should be asked to
+say grace; but in town he seldom joins these family gatherings unless
+well acquainted with his parishioners.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Reception Tea=, when given, is served in the dining-room; but in this
+case the guests are received on arrival by the hostess in the
+drawing-room, and when all have arrived, she accompanies them to the
+tea-room and remains there with them. The maid-servants should pour out
+and hand the tea and coffee across the tea-table, but the hostess should
+hand the cakes, etc., to her relatives, assisted by the host, if
+present. The refreshments consist of the usual variety in confectionery
+seen at all smart "at homes," a christening cake being the addition.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Christening Dinner-Parties= closely resemble all other family functions
+of this nature, with the exception that the infant's health is drunk at
+dessert, and that a christening cake is placed opposite the hostess when
+the table is cleared for dessert.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Christening Ceremony= takes place in the afternoon, usually at
+2.30. The relatives on arrival at the church seat themselves in pews or
+on chairs near to the font. The godmother holds the infant during the
+first part of the service, and then places it on the left arm of the
+officiating clergyman. One of the godfathers should name the child in
+response to the clergyman's question. If the child is a girl, two
+godmothers and one godfather are necessary. If a boy, two godfathers and
+one godmother are required. These godparents are usually the intimate
+friends of the child's mother. In certain instances the relatives are
+chosen for the office of godfather and godmother, but oftener not for
+family reasons.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Christening Presents= vary according to means and inclination, and
+often comprise gifts of jewellery when the infant is a girl, and money
+and silver plate if a boy; silver spoons, forks, mugs, bowls, etc. The
+selection is a wide one, and nothing comes amiss, from a robe with fine
+lace to a chain and pendant or a jewelled watch. These presents are
+usually sent the day previous to that of the christening.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Fees and Tips.=--Only minor fees are given to those assisting at the
+ceremony. The officiating priest receives some little gift in old silver
+or china, but not of money; if, however, the parents of the child are
+wealthy a cheque is sometimes given with a request that he will devote
+it to the needs of his parish.
+
+Tips to the nurse from the child's godparents vary from five shillings
+to a sovereign according to individual means.
+
+
+
+
+INDEX
+
+
+  AFTERNOON "at homes," 151
+
+  Afternoon dances, 157
+
+  Afternoon tea, 42
+
+  Afternoon weddings, 28
+
+  Amusements at children's parties, 192;
+    at country-house parties, 215;
+    at garden-parties, 169
+
+  "At home" days, 159;
+    "at homes," 151, 238
+
+
+  BACHELORS' Balls, 87
+
+  Balls, 87;
+    patronesses of, 239
+
+  Best man, duties of, 131
+
+  Bowing, 206
+
+  Breakfasts, 183
+
+  Bridal wreath, 141
+
+  Bride, 131, 133, 140
+
+  Bridegroom's relatives, 133
+
+  Bridegroom's responsibilities, 130, 141, 146, 149
+
+  Bridesmaids, 132;
+    presents to, 147
+
+  Bride's relatives, 132
+
+  Bridge parties, 125, 158;
+    refreshments at, 126;
+    teas, 158
+
+
+  CALLS, paying, 32;
+    after entertainments, 113
+
+  Canoe parties, 189
+
+  Cards, gentlemen's, 27;
+    ladies, 19;
+    memorial, 31;
+    "P.P.C.," 26
+
+  Cards, leaving, 19;
+    after entertainments, 24, 28;
+    on new-comers, 25;
+    returning, 23;
+    routine of leaving, 21, 28;
+    "to inquire," 26
+
+  Chaperons, 228
+
+  Charity Balls, 93
+
+  Christening luncheons and teas, 262;
+    parties, 261;
+    presents, 260, 263
+
+  Clergy, how to address, 59
+
+  Cockades, 209
+
+  Colonial etiquette, 161
+
+  County Balls, 93
+
+  Country dinner-parties, 114
+
+  Country-house visits, 211
+
+  Court, attending, 73;
+    presentation at, 73
+
+  Court dress for gentlemen, 85;
+    for ladies, 80
+
+  Cricket matches, 168
+
+
+  DANCES, invitation, 256;
+    public, 257
+
+  Débutantes, 228
+
+  _Dîner à la Russe_, 106
+
+  Dining out, 100
+
+  Dinner guests, 101
+
+  Dinner invitations, 99
+
+  Dinner-table decorations, 107;
+    etiquette, 108, 116
+
+  Drawing-room, retiring to, 111
+
+  Drawing-rooms at Viceregal Court, Dublin, 229
+
+  Driving, 203
+
+
+  ENGAGEMENTS, 250;
+    etiquette of, 251;
+    presents, 147
+
+  _Entrée_ at Court, 77
+
+  Etiquette, 1;
+    at balls, 91;
+    at dinner-table, 108, 116;
+    colonial, 161;
+    Indian, 164;
+    in regard to royalty, 61;
+    of visiting at bachelors' houses, 217;
+    when travelling abroad, 65
+
+  Evening parties, 122;
+    garden-parties, 174
+
+
+  FOREIGNERS of rank, how to address, 57
+
+  Funerals, 248
+
+  Funeral wreaths, 249
+
+
+  GAMEKEEPERS, tips to, 223
+
+  Game licence, 224
+
+  Garden-parties, 166;
+    in the evening, 174;
+    in town, 171
+
+  Giving presents, 259
+
+  Going in to luncheon, 180;
+    to supper, 123, 126
+
+  Golden weddings, 255
+
+  Gratuities to servants, 97, 113, 156, 223, 260, 263
+
+
+  HONEYMOON, 141
+
+  Hostesses, 234
+
+  Hunt Balls, 87, 95
+
+  Hunt breakfasts, 221
+
+  Hunting, 219
+
+
+  INDIAN etiquette, 164
+
+  Introductions, 6;
+    correct formula for, 8;
+    at afternoon calls, 17;
+    at country-house parties, 11;
+    at dinner-parties, 9;
+    at evening parties, 123;
+    at Public Balls, 12, 90
+
+  Invitations, 96, 122, 125, 152, 167, 177, 194
+
+
+  JUVENILE parties, 190
+
+
+  LADIES in the hunting-field, 219
+
+  Levée dress, 85
+
+  Levées, 82;
+    at Viceregal Court, Dublin, 232;
+    presentations at, 84;
+    who may attend, 83
+
+  Licences, marriage, 128
+
+  Luncheons, 176
+
+
+  MARRIAGE by banns, 128;
+    by licence, 128, 148;
+    fees, 129, 148
+
+  Memorial cards, 249
+
+  Menus, 106, 139
+
+  Military Balls, 87, 95
+
+  Mourning, 242;
+    Court, 242
+
+
+  "NOT at home," 41
+
+
+  OFFICERS, how to address, 59
+
+  Opening a ball, 90
+
+
+  PATRONESSES of Public Balls, 239
+
+  Pheasant shooting, 222
+
+  Picnics, 186
+
+  Plumes in Court dress, 81
+
+  Politeness, graces of, 4
+
+  Precedency amongst royalty, 44, 50;
+    at ball suppers, 91;
+    at dinner-parties, 49, 105;
+    of ambassadors and diplomats, 45;
+    of army and navy, 45;
+    of baronets and knights, 45, 51;
+    of bishops, 51;
+    of clergy, 45, 48;
+    of esquires, 48;
+    of ladies, 52;
+    of legal profession, 45, 48;
+    of peers, 50;
+    of widows, 46
+
+  Presentation at Court, 73;
+    at foreign Courts, 65;
+    at levées, 82;
+    at Viceregal Court, Dublin, 229
+
+  Presents, christening, 260;
+    giving, 259;
+    wedding, 130, 141, 259
+
+  Public Balls, 87
+
+
+  RECEIVING guests, 101, 123, 154, 234
+
+  Refreshments for "at homes," 153;
+    at bridge parties, 126;
+    at children's parties, 194
+
+  Refusing invitations, 200
+
+  Responsibilities of patronesses, 239
+
+  Riding, 204
+
+  Royal guests present, 90, 123
+
+  Royalty, how to address, 53
+
+
+  SAYING grace, 114
+
+  Sending in to dinner, 103
+
+  Shaking hands, 225
+
+  Shooting, 219
+
+  Signing the register, 134
+
+  Silver weddings, 253
+
+  State Balls, 97
+
+  State mourning, 97
+
+  Subscription dances, 256
+
+  Supper, going in to, 123
+
+  Surnames of peculiar pronunciation, 69
+
+
+  TEA for afternoon callers, 42
+
+  Titles, how to use in speaking, 53
+
+  Town garden-parties, 171
+
+  Trousseau, 141
+
+
+  UNDESIRED introductions, 6
+
+
+  WALKING, 202
+
+  Water parties, 188
+
+  Wedding cake, 137, 142;
+    cards, 142;
+    etiquette, 129;
+    expenses, 146;
+    favours, 134;
+    fees, 129, 148;
+    golden, 255;
+    invitations, 129;
+    luncheon, 137;
+    of widow, 134;
+    presents, 130, 141, 259;
+    receptions, 136, 143;
+    ring, 130;
+    service, 131;
+    silver, 253
+
+  Widow's wedding, 134
+
+  Writing invitations, 195
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Notes:
+
+
+Passages in italics are indicated by _underscore_.
+
+Passages in bold style are indicated by =bold=.
+
+Currency symbols such as £, d., and s. are italicised in the original
+text, this format has been removed in the current text version for a
+smoother reading experience.
+
+C[=o]burn (page 70) and P[=y]tch'ley (page 71) have diacritical marks.
+They are marked as [=o] which represents a marcron (straight line) above
+the o and [=y] which represents a macron above the y.
+
+The following words have been retained in both versions:
+
+  table-cloth and tablecloth
+  out-door and outdoor
+  solemnized and solemnised
+
+The following misprints have been corrected:
+
+  changed "AT THE VICE-REGAL COURT," into "AT THE VICEREGAL COURT,"
+          page viii
+  changed "refusal, and the profered" into "refusal, and the proffered"
+          page 8
+  changed "by a manservant or" into "by a man-servant or" page 21
+  changed "to the manservant silently," into "to the man-servant
+          silently," page 22
+  changed "Villiers" into Villiers." page 72
+  changed "a tablespoon for soup," into "a table-spoon for soup,"
+          page 108
+  changed "a box of bonbons," into "a box of bon-bons," page 125
+  changed "chickens, game, mayonaises," into "chickens, game,
+          mayonnaises," page 139
+  changed "at dinner-table, 80, 116;" into "at dinner-table, 108,
+          116;" page 266
+  changed "Levées, 82," into "Levées, 82;" page 266
+
+Other than the corrections listed above, printer's inconsistencies
+in spelling, punctuation, hyphenation, and ligature usage have
+been retained.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Manners and Rules of Good Society, by Anonymous
+
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+
+Project Gutenberg's Manners and Rules of Good Society, by Anonymous
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Manners and Rules of Good Society
+       Or Solecisms to be Avoided
+
+Author: Anonymous
+
+Release Date: September 13, 2010 [EBook #33716]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Thierry Alberto, Iris Gehring, Henry Craig and
+the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
+http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
+generously made available by The Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<h1><span class="pagenum"><a id="pagei" name="pagei"></a>[p.i]</span>MANNERS AND RULES<br><span class="smaller">OF</span><br>GOOD SOCIETY</h1>
+
+
+
+
+<h1 class="wosp05 lihei1"><span class="pagenum"><a id="pageiii" name="pageiii"></a>[p.iii]</span>MANNERS AND RULES<br>
+<span class="smaller">OF</span><br>
+GOOD SOCIETY<br>
+<span class="smaller"><i>OR SOLECISMS TO BE AVOIDED</i></span></h1>
+
+<div class="center">
+<p class="ftsize110 wosp05 marbot05">BY A MEMBER</p>
+<p class="ftsize110 wosp05">OF THE ARISTOCRACY</p>
+
+<p class="martop4">THIRTY-EIGHTH EDITION</p>
+</div>
+
+<a id="img001" name="img001"></a>
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/img001.jpg" width="075" height="068" alt="decoration" title="decoration"></div>
+
+<div class="center">
+<p class="ftsize105 martop4">LONDON</p>
+<p class="ftsize110">FREDERICK WARNE AND CO.</p>
+<p class="ftsize105">AND NEW YORK</p>
+<p class="ftsize75 martop1">1916</p>
+<p class="ftsize60 martop1">(<i>All rights reserved</i>)</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="smaller ralign2 martop1"><span class="pagenum"><a id="pageiv" name="pageiv"></a>[p.iv]</span><i>Printed in Great Britain</i></p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="pagev" name="pagev"></a>[p.v]</span>PREFACE</h2>
+
+<p class="hroena">&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;<b>&#9830;</b>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"<span class="smcap">Manners and Rules of Good Society</span>" contains all the information
+comprised in the original work, "Manners and Tone of Good Society," but
+with considerable additions. In a volume of this nature it is necessary
+to make constant revisions, and this is periodically done to keep it up
+to date, that it may be depended upon as being not only the most
+reliable, but also the <i>newest book of etiquette</i>.</p>
+
+<p>A comparison of the number of chapters and their subjects with those of
+the early editions would best demonstrate how the work has grown, not
+merely in bulk, but in importance also. This extension has allowed many
+subjects to be more exhaustively treated than heretofore, and it now
+includes every rule and point that could possibly be comprehended in its
+title.</p>
+
+<p>The work throughout its many editions has commended itself to the
+attention of thousands of readers, and it is hoped the present edition
+will be received by society in general with the marked success of its
+predecessors.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="pagevii" name="pagevii"></a>[p.vii]</span>CONTENTS</h2>
+
+<p class="hroena">&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;<b>&#9830;</b>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="toc">
+
+<ul class="none">
+<li class="lsoff ftsize75 fw600">CHAPTER &nbsp; <span class="ralign1">PAGE</span></li>
+<li class="lsoff ftsize90">&nbsp; INTRODUCTORY REMARKS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#pageix">ix</a></span></li>
+</ul>
+
+<ul class="roman ftsize90">
+<li>THE MEANING OF ETIQUETTE <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page1">1</a></span></li>
+<li>INTRODUCTIONS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page6">6</a></span></li>
+<li>LEAVING CARDS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page19">19</a></span></li>
+<li>PAYING CALLS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page32">32</a></span></li>
+<li>PRECEDENCY <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page44">44</a></span></li>
+<li>THE COLLOQUIAL APPLICATION OF TITLES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page53">53</a></span></li>
+<li>POINTS OF ETIQUETTE AS REGARDS ROYAL PERSONAGES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page61">61</a></span></li>
+<li>POINTS OF ETIQUETTE WHEN TRAVELLING ABROAD,
+    AND PRESENTATIONS AT FOREIGN COURTS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page65">65</a></span></li>
+<li>THE RECEIVED MODE OF PRONOUNCING CERTAIN SURNAMES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page68">68</a></span></li>
+<li>PRESENTATIONS AT COURTS AND ATTENDING COURTS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page73">73</a></span></li>
+<li>PRESENTATIONS AT LEVÉES AND ATTENDING LEVÉES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page82">82</a></span></li>
+<li>BALLS AND STATE BALLS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page87">87</a></span></li>
+<li>DINNER GIVING AND DINING OUT <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page99">99</a></span></li>
+<li>DINNER-TABLE ETIQUETTE <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page116">116</a></span></li>
+<li>EVENING PARTIES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page122">122</a></span></li>
+<li>WEDDINGS AND WEDDING LUNCHEONS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page128">128</a></span></li>
+<li>WEDDING RECEPTIONS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page143">143</a></span></li>
+<li>WEDDING EXPENSES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page146">146</a></span></li>
+<li>AFTERNOON "AT HOMES" <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page151">151</a></span></li>
+<li>"AT HOME" DAYS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page159">159</a></span></li>
+<li>COLONIAL ETIQUETTE <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page161">161</a></span></li>
+<li>INDIAN ETIQUETTE <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page164">164</a></span></li>
+<li><span class="pagenum"><a id="pageviii" name="pageviii"></a>[p.viii]</span>GARDEN-PARTIES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page166">166</a></span></li>
+<li>TOWN GARDEN-PARTIES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page171">171</a></span></li>
+<li>EVENING GARDEN-PARTIES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page174">174</a></span></li>
+<li>LUNCHEONS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page176">176</a></span></li>
+<li>BREAKFASTS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page183">183</a></span></li>
+<li>PICNICS AND WATER-PARTIES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page186">186</a></span></li>
+<li>JUVENILE PARTIES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page190">190</a></span></li>
+<li>WRITTEN INVITATIONS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page195">195</a></span></li>
+<li>REFUSING INVITATIONS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page200">200</a></span></li>
+<li>WALKING, DRIVING, AND RIDING <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page202">202</a></span></li>
+<li>BOWING <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page206">206</a></span></li>
+<li>THE COCKADE <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page209">209</a></span></li>
+<li>COUNTRY-HOUSE VISITS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page211">211</a></span></li>
+<li>HUNTING AND SHOOTING <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page219">219</a></span></li>
+<li>SHAKING HANDS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page225">225</a></span></li>
+<li>CHAPERONS AND DÉBUTANTES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page228">228</a></span></li>
+<li>PRESENTATIONS AT THE VICEREGAL COURT, DUBLIN CASTLE <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page229">229</a></span></li>
+<li>HOSTESSES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page234">234</a></span></li>
+<li>THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF LADY PATRONESSES OF PUBLIC BALLS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page239">239</a></span></li>
+<li>PERIODS OF MOURNING <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page242">242</a></span></li>
+<li>ENGAGED <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page250">250</a></span></li>
+<li>SILVER WEDDINGS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page253">253</a></span></li>
+<li>SUBSCRIPTION DANCES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page256">256</a></span></li>
+<li>GIVING PRESENTS <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page259">259</a></span></li>
+<li>CHRISTENING PARTIES <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page261">261</a></span></li>
+<li class="lsoff">INDEX <span class="ralign1"><a href="#page265">265</a></span></li>
+</ul>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="pageix" name="pageix"></a>[p.ix]</span>INTRODUCTORY REMARKS</h2>
+
+<p class="hroena">&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;<b>&#9830;</b>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> title of this work sufficiently indicates the nature of its
+contents. The Usages of Good Society relate not only to good manners and
+to good breeding, but also to the proper etiquette to be observed on
+every occasion.</p>
+
+<p>Not only are certain rules laid down, and minutely explained, but the
+most comprehensive instructions are given in each chapter respecting
+every form or phase of the subject under discussion that it may be
+clearly understood what <i>is</i> done, or what is <i>not</i> done, in good
+society, and also how what <i>is</i> done in good society should be done. It
+is precisely this knowledge that gives to men and women the
+consciousness of feeling thoroughly at ease in whatever sphere they may
+happen to move, and causes them to be considered well bred by all with
+whom they may come in contact.</p>
+
+<p>A solecism may be perhaps in itself but a trifling matter, but in the
+eyes of society at large it assumes proportions of a magnified aspect,
+and reflects most disadvantageously upon the one by whom it is
+committed; <span class="pagenum"><a id="pagex" name="pagex"></a>[p.x]</span>the direct inference being, that to be guilty of a
+solecism argues the offender to be unused to society, and consequently
+not on an equal footing with it. This society resents, and is not slow
+in making its disapproval felt by its demeanour towards the offender.</p>
+
+<p>Tact and innate refinement, though of the greatest assistance to one
+unused to society, do not suffice of themselves; and although counting
+for much, cannot supply the want of the actual knowledge of what is
+customary in society. Where tact and innate refinement do not exist&mdash;and
+this is not seldom the case, as they are gifts bestowed upon the few
+rather than upon the many&mdash;then a thorough acquaintance with the social
+observances in force in society becomes more than ever necessary, and
+especially to those who, socially speaking, are desirous of making their
+way in the world.</p>
+
+<p>Those individuals who have led secluded or isolated lives, or who have
+hitherto moved in other spheres than those wherein well-bred people
+move, will gather all the information necessary from these pages to
+render them thoroughly conversant with the manners and amenities of
+society.</p>
+
+<p>This work will be found of equal service to both men and women, as in
+each chapter the points of social etiquette to be observed by both sexes
+have been fully considered.</p>
+
+<p>Those having the charge of young ladies previous to their introduction
+into society, either mothers, chaperons, <span class="pagenum"><a id="pagexi" name="pagexi"></a>[p.xi]</span>or governesses, will
+also derive much useful and practical information from the perusal of
+this work, while to those thoroughly versed in the usages of society it
+cannot fail to commend itself, containing as it does many useful and
+valuable hints on social questions.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page1" name="page1"></a>[p.1]</span>MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY</h2>
+
+<p class="hroena">&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;<b>&#9830;</b>&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER I</h2>
+<h3>THE MEANING OF ETIQUETTE</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">What</span> is etiquette, and what does the word convey? It is a poor one in
+itself, and falls very far short of its wide application. It has an
+old-fashioned ring about it, savouring of stiffness, primness, and
+punctiliousness, which renders it distasteful to many possessing
+advanced ideas; and yet the word etiquette is not so very old either, as
+Johnson did not include it in his dictionary, and Walker apologises for
+introducing it into his, and according to the authorities he quotes, it
+is supposed to be derived from stichos, stichus, stichetus, sticketta,
+and from thence to etiquette. But whether derived from the Latin or the
+French&mdash;and many incline to the latter opinion&mdash;there is no doubt that
+could a new word be found to replace this much abused one, it would be a
+welcome addition to our vocabulary. The word has unfortunately become
+associated in our minds with forms, ceremonies, and observances, in an
+exaggerated degree; and it has been so constantly misused and
+misinterpreted and misunderstood that ridicule and contempt have been
+most unjustly and unfairly thrown upon it. The <span class="pagenum"><a id="page2" name="page2"></a>[p.2]</span>true meaning of
+etiquette can hardly be described in dictionary parlance; it embraces
+the whole gamut of good manners, good breeding, and true politeness. One
+of the reasons which have no doubt contributed to bring the word
+"etiquette" into disrepute, is the manner in which the subject has been
+handled by incompetent people, who, having but a very hazy and obscure
+knowledge, if any knowledge at all, yet profess to write guides to
+polite manners&mdash;rambling and incoherent guides, which not only provoke a
+smile from those better informed, but mislead and bewilder any one rash
+enough to consult them, without previous inquiry as to whether they are
+safe to follow. A little caution on this head would insure the most
+correct and reliable work being secured amongst so much that is
+unreliable. Some people read everything that is written on the subject
+of etiquette, not only those who are ignorant and wish to learn
+something of its laws, but those who are thoroughly well versed in them
+and who, one might suppose, had nothing to learn; still these latter
+like to see what is written, to feel the satisfaction of being supported
+in their own knowledge by a well-informed writer; or of finding
+amusement in the absurdities gravely advanced by some one writing from
+another sphere than that where <i>savoir vivre</i> reigns. Others attach a
+very narrow meaning to the word etiquette, and neither accept it nor
+understand it in its true sense; they have an idea that its rules
+influence and govern society in general. Rules of etiquette are from
+their point of view but trammels and shackles; let them be cast off or
+burst through, say they; let every one do as he likes; let all behave as
+they like; we are in a free country, why should we not wipe our mouths
+upon the tablecloth if we please? Others again, devour books of
+etiquette on the quiet; they are very much in want of instruction as
+every one knows, but they have not the courage to confess that they are
+awake of this want, and are trying to pick up some knowledge of this
+kind to be useful to them; as their aim is to <span class="pagenum"><a id="page3" name="page3"></a>[p.3]</span>rise in the social
+scale, they would not let their friends know for worlds about this new
+study, but they know it, and find that they have improved, that they do
+not commit as many <i>gaucheries</i> as heretofore; still, they have caught
+the letter rather than the spirit of etiquette, they have read the rules
+it prescribes, and act up to them as far as their memories serve them;
+but they have failed in one essential particular of understanding that
+courtesy, consideration towards others, and unselfishness, are the
+sources of true politeness from which etiquette springs.</p>
+
+<p>There is an idea amongst some few people who have mixed little in the
+world, and moved but in one fixed groove, that the more exalted the
+sphere, the more perfect the manners. It is needless to attempt to
+refute such a fallacy as this, for examples of the most perfect manner
+are to be met with not only amongst those who can boast of long lineage
+and high birth, but also amongst those who lay claim to neither.</p>
+
+<p>Our present code of etiquette is constructed upon the refinement,
+polish, and culture of years, of centuries. Wealth and luxury, and
+contact with all that is beautiful in art and nature, have in all ages
+exercised a powerful influence on the manners of men; we do not say on
+the times, as unfortunately these advantages did not reach down to the
+many but were confined to the strictly few; but in these modern days the
+many have come, and still come, within the charmed circle; the ring
+broadens, ever widens; it is not now as in olden days that "their lot
+forbade." On the contrary, the possession of wealth or of talent is the
+open sesame to the most refined and cultured circles. The word etiquette
+is too narrow for all it embraces; it must be viewed in a double light,
+and be taken from a moral point as well as from a conventional one. A
+kindly nature, and an unselfish spirit are never wanting in true
+politeness, but the conventionalities of society give the finish and
+completeness to the whole, the colour, as <span class="pagenum"><a id="page4" name="page4"></a>[p.4]</span>it were, to the
+picture. In some the conventional spirit is uppermost and they have at
+best but a surface polish. In others the kindly feelings of the heart
+are allowed full play, and no act of genuine politeness is omitted or
+left undone in their intercourse with their fellows, and these graces of
+kindly politeness linger in the memory, trivial though they may have
+been, years after one has lost sight of this true gentleman or thorough
+lady, and one says of him, "What a charming man he was, how courteous
+and considerate, and how kind!" and of her, "She was the sweetest and
+prettiest-mannered woman I ever met."</p>
+
+<p>It is only given to the very few to be thoroughly and unaffectedly
+charming without a shadow of self-consciousness or effort. To assume a
+would-be charming manner for the moment, with the desire to be unusually
+pleasing to some one in particular, does not confer the enviable
+reputation of having a charming manner. It does not sit easy enough to
+be altogether natural; it conveys the idea of being put on for the
+occasion, and, like all other imitations, it hardly ever pleases and
+seldom deceives. Etiquette and true politeness would have us go further
+than this, and our manners of to-day should be our manners of to-morrow,
+and not variable according to place and persons. The world is quick to
+note these uncertain demeanours, and every one's measure is readily
+taken and retained.</p>
+
+<p>The rules of etiquette are indispensable to the smooth working of
+society at large. Take, for example, the etiquette of precedency, in
+force both in public and in private: on every public occasion, and in
+every private circle, precedency steps in to render assistance, and is
+as necessary in the smallest private circle as in the largest public
+gathering, because it assigns to every one his or her place as far as
+claim can be laid to place. Mistakes in the matter of precedency are not
+only committed by those who have enjoyed few social advantages, but by
+those also who <span class="pagenum"><a id="page5" name="page5"></a>[p.5]</span>have had everything in their favour. Young
+ladies, for instance, when married from the schoolroom, as it were,
+often make grave mistakes on the question of precedency, if they do not
+ignore it altogether.</p>
+
+<p>The etiquette of card leaving and that of paying calls are indisputably
+necessary and only the very ignorant would attempt to gainsay their
+utility; without these aids to order and method all intercourse between
+friends and acquaintances would be uncertain and chaotic; as it is there
+is little excuse when the right thing is not done, and any departure
+from the simple rules laid down on these heads, is the best possible
+proof of the standing, position, and associations of the one at fault.</p>
+
+<p>Any one point of etiquette if brought to the bar of common-sense would
+be pronounced reasonable, proper, and sensible; and there is strictly
+speaking no question of etiquette that cannot be thus judged and upon
+which a like verdict would not be given. There is no one rule of
+etiquette that can be described as absurd or ridiculous, arbitrary or
+tyrannical, and taken collectively the rules are but social obligations
+due from one person to another. Why should we not be a well-mannered
+people? Why should we not be refined, cultivated, and polished in our
+demeanour and bearing? Why should we not seek to charm if we can? Why
+should we not cultivate and encourage in ourselves consideration,
+thoughtfulness, and graciousness towards others in the smallest details
+of daily life?</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page6" name="page6"></a>[p.6]</span><a id="chap2" name="chap2">CHAPTER II</a></h2>
+<h3>INTRODUCTIONS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">There</span> are ceremonious introductions and unceremonious introductions,
+premeditated introductions and unpremeditated introductions; but, in all
+cases, introductions should never be indiscriminately made&mdash;that is to
+say, without a previous knowledge on the part of those making them as to
+whether the persons thus introduced will be likely to appreciate each
+other, or the reverse, or unless they have expressed a desire to become
+acquainted. For instance, a lady should not introduce two of her
+acquaintances residing in a country town or watering-place, moving in
+different circles, unless they have each expressed such a desire.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">An Undesired Introduction</span>, if made, compels the one to whom it is the
+most unwelcome, to treat the other with marked coldness, or to continue
+an acquaintance that is distasteful.</p>
+
+<p>Should the slightest doubt exist as to how an introduction will be
+received&mdash;whether the meditated introduction is a spontaneous desire on
+the part of a lady or gentleman, or whether one person expressed a wish
+to make the acquaintance of another person and expressed that wish to a
+mutual friend&mdash;the received rule is to consult the wishes of both
+persons on the subject before making the introduction.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a Difference of Rank</span> exists between two persons, it would be
+sufficient to ascertain the wishes of the person of highest rank alone.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page7" name="page7"></a>[p.7]</span>A person about to make an introduction, should say to the one
+lady, but not in the hearing of the other, "Mrs. A&mdash;&mdash;, may I introduce
+Mrs. B&mdash;&mdash; to you?" or some such formula, according to the degree of
+intimacy existing between herself and Mrs. A. (See "The Art of
+Conversing.")</p>
+
+<p>When two ladies are of equal rank, the wishes of the person with whom
+the person making the introduction is least intimate should be
+consulted.</p>
+
+<p>In the case of one person having expressed a wish to make the
+acquaintance of another, there remains but the wishes of one person to
+ascertain.</p>
+
+<p>Acquiescence having been given, the introduction should be made.</p>
+
+<p>In making an introduction, the lady of lowest rank should be introduced
+to the lady of highest rank; in no case should the lady of highest rank
+be introduced to the lady of lowest rank. This point of etiquette should
+always be strictly observed.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Gentleman should always be introduced to a Lady</span>, whatever his rank may
+be, without reference to her rank, whatever it may be. This rule is
+invariable, and is based upon the privilege of the sex&mdash;"<i>place aux
+dames</i>."</p>
+
+<p>It is not usual to ascertain a gentleman's wishes as to whether he will
+be introduced to a lady or not, although at a ball it is usual to do so
+when the introduction is made for a special object, viz., that of
+obtaining a partner for a lady; and as a gentleman may be either unable
+or unwilling to ask the lady to dance, it is incumbent to ascertain
+beforehand whether the introduction is desired or not, otherwise the
+introduction would be of no avail for the purpose, and prove a
+disappointment to the lady.</p>
+
+<p>"Would you like to be introduced to Miss A&mdash;&mdash;?" or some such polite
+phrase (see "The Art of Conversing"), is the sort of formula by which to
+ascertain a gentleman's <span class="pagenum"><a id="page8" name="page8"></a>[p.8]</span>wishes as to an introduction in the
+ball-room; as ball-room introductions are understood to mean an
+intention on the part of a gentleman to ask a lady to dance or to take
+her in to supper.</p>
+
+<p>In general society, gentlemen are supposed to seek, rather than to avoid
+the acquaintance of ladies, irrespective of whatever sets in society to
+which they belong. It is immaterial to a gentleman in which set in
+society his acquaintances move, and he can be polite to all without
+offending any in their several circles.</p>
+
+<p>With regard to his own sex a gentleman is generally as exclusive as to
+the acquaintanceships which he forms, as is a lady with regard to the
+acquaintanceships which she forms. Reciprocity of taste is the basis on
+which acquaintanceships between men are established, subject, in a
+certain measure, to social position; though this rule is itself subject
+to wide exceptions.</p>
+
+<p>It is the rule for a gentleman to ask a mutual friend, or an
+acquaintance, for an introduction to a lady, and it is the received rule
+to do so when a gentleman desires to be introduced to any lady in
+particular; but gentlemen do not ask to be introduced to each other,
+unless some special reason exists for so doing&mdash;some reason that would
+commend itself to the person whose acquaintance was desired, as well as
+to the person making the introduction; otherwise, such a wish would
+appear to be either puerile or sycophantic, thus the request might meet
+with a refusal, and the proffered acquaintanceship be declined.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When Introductions are made between Ladies</span>, an unmarried lady should be
+introduced to a married lady, unless the unmarried lady is of a higher
+rank than the married lady, when the rule is reversed.</p>
+
+<p>The correct formula in use when making introductions is "Mrs. X&mdash;&mdash;,
+Lady Z.," thus mentioning the name of the lady of lowest rank first, as
+she is the person introduced to <span class="pagenum"><a id="page9" name="page9"></a>[p.9]</span>the lady of highest rank, "Mrs.
+X&mdash;&mdash;, Lady Z.," is all that need be said on the occasion by the person
+making the introduction. When the ladies are of equal rank it is
+immaterial which name is mentioned first; but there generally exists
+sufficient difference in the social position of the two ladies to give a
+slight distinction in favour of the one or of the other, which the
+person making the introduction should take into consideration.</p>
+
+<p>When the introduction has been made, the ladies should bow to each
+other, and either lady should make a slight remark.</p>
+
+<p>It is not usual for ladies on being first introduced to each other to
+shake hands, but only to bow; but there are very many exceptions to this
+rule.</p>
+
+<p>When one lady is of higher rank than the other, should she offer to
+shake hands, it would be a compliment and a mark of friendliness on her
+part.</p>
+
+<p>When a person introduces two intimate friends of his or hers to each
+other, they would be expected to shake hands, instead of bowing only.</p>
+
+<p>The relations of an engaged couple should, on being introduced, shake
+hands with both bride and bridegroom elect, as should the intimate
+friends of an engaged couple; as also should the relations of the two
+families on being introduced to each other.</p>
+
+<p>It is the privilege of the lady to be the first to offer to shake hands,
+in every case, when a gentleman is introduced to her.</p>
+
+<p>A lady should shake hands with every one introduced to her in her own
+house&mdash;that is to say, whether the person is brought by a mutual friend,
+or is present by invitation obtained through a mutual friend.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">At Dinner-parties</span>, both small and large, the hostess should use her own
+discretion as to the introductions she thinks proper to make. It is not
+customary to make <span class="pagenum"><a id="page10" name="page10"></a>[p.10]</span>general introductions at a dinner-party; but
+in sending guests down to dinner, who are strangers to each other, the
+host or hostess should introduce the gentleman to the lady whom he is to
+take down to dinner. It would be quite unnecessary to ask the lady's
+permission before doing so. It would be sufficient to make the
+introduction a few moments before dinner was announced, and the usual
+formula is, "Mrs. A., Mr. B. will take you in to dinner." A bow is the
+recognition of this introduction.</p>
+
+<p>When the majority at a dinner-party are strangers to each other, a host
+or hostess should introduce one or two of the principal guests to each
+other, when time allows of its being done before dinner is served; such
+introductions are oftener made at country dinner-parties than at town
+dinner-parties.</p>
+
+<p>A hostess should, in some instances, introduce ladies to each other in
+the drawing-room after dinner if the opportunity offers, and she
+considers it advisable to do so.</p>
+
+<p>As a rule, a host seldom introduces gentlemen to each other in the
+dining-room after dinner, as they address each other as a matter of
+course on such occasions.</p>
+
+<p>A hostess should introduce her principal guests to each other, at
+five-o'clock teas, garden-parties, small "at homes," etc.&mdash;that is to
+say, gentlemen to ladies&mdash;for the purpose of their taking the ladies to
+the tea-room. In this case also, the introduction should be made without
+previously consulting the lady; and a gentleman, knowing the reason of
+the introduction, should at once proffer the expected civility.</p>
+
+<p>At these gatherings a hostess should use her own discretion as to any
+general introductions she thinks proper to make, and should introduce
+any gentleman to any lady without previously consulting the lady if she
+thinks the introduction will prove agreeable to her.</p>
+
+<p>When introducing ladies to each other, she should give married ladies,
+and ladies of rank, the option of the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page11" name="page11"></a>[p.11]</span>introduction; but should
+introduce young unmarried ladies to each other if she thinks proper.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When Callers arrive simultaneously</span>, the hostess should introduce them
+directly or indirectly to each other, if there is no social reason to
+the contrary.</p>
+
+<p>When a hostess is aware that her visitors do not desire each other's
+acquaintanceship, or, if she considers that the introduction is not
+altogether a suitable one, agreeable to both persons, she should not
+make it, but converse with each visitor in turn, at the same time not
+allowing the conversation to become too general.</p>
+
+<p>At large gatherings, persons desirous of avoiding each other's
+acquaintanceship, could be present at the house of a mutual acquaintance
+without coming into direct contact with one another, providing the host
+and hostess possessed sufficient tact and discretion not to attempt to
+effect a <i>rapprochement</i> between them.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">At Country-house Parties</span>, the hostess should introduce the principal
+ladies to one another on the first day of their arrival; but if it is a
+large party, introductions should not be generally made, but should be
+made according to the judgment of the hostess. The fact of persons being
+guests in the same house constitutes in itself an introduction, and it
+rests with the guests thus brought together whether the acquaintanceship
+ripens into subsequent intimacy or not.</p>
+
+<p>The same remark applies in a degree to afternoon teas and "at homes."
+The guests converse with each other if inclined to do so. The act of so
+conversing would not constitute an acquaintanceship, although it might,
+under some circumstances, establish a bowing acquaintanceship,
+especially between gentlemen.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies should not bow to each other after only exchanging a few remarks
+at afternoon tea, or at a garden-party, unless there were some
+particular social link between them <span class="pagenum"><a id="page12" name="page12"></a>[p.12]</span>to warrant their so doing,
+in which case the lady of highest rank should take the initiative.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Introductions at Public Balls.</span>&mdash;It is erroneous to suppose that it is
+the duty of stewards to make introductions at public balls; it is the
+exception, and not the rule, for stewards to introduce persons to each
+other who are strangers to themselves.</p>
+
+<p>Society objects, and the stewards object, to making promiscuous
+introductions, on the following grounds: first, as regards the chaperon,
+whether mother or relative, who has the charge of a young lady; then as
+regards a young lady herself; and last, but not least, as regards the
+position occupied by the steward himself. A chaperon naturally looks and
+feels displeased when a steward who is a stranger to herself offers to
+introduce a man who is evidently a stranger to him, which fact she
+gathers by his saying, "This gentleman wishes to be introduced to your
+daughter," or by his asking the stranger his name before making the
+introduction. A chaperon is responsible for the acquaintances a young
+lady forms while under her charge at a ball, and if amongst her own
+friends and acquaintances she cannot find partners for her, she would
+prefer that she spent a comparatively dull evening than that she should
+run the risk of forming undesirable acquaintances.</p>
+
+<p>Young ladies have not always the discretion possessed by their elders,
+or sufficient knowledge of the world to do the right thing. Thus, some
+young ladies would either coldly decline the introductions, or if the
+introductions were made, would as coldly decline to dance, whilst
+others, anxious to dance, would accept both the introductions and the
+partners, and take their chance as to whether their brothers would like
+to see them dancing with strangers thus introduced. A steward himself
+particularly dislikes to be made responsible for a man he does not know;
+and whether a chaperon and a young lady are old friends of his, or
+whether they <span class="pagenum"><a id="page13" name="page13"></a>[p.13]</span>are merely new acquaintances, they equally trust
+to his not introducing men to them whom they would not care to know, and
+of whom he knows nothing save that they have solicited an introduction
+to them.</p>
+
+<p>Very few stewards care to accost a lady whom they merely know by sight
+and by name for the purpose of introducing a stranger; they prefer to
+decline to make the introduction, on the plea of not having the honour
+of the lady's acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>Stewards consider that the position of a young man must be a peculiar
+one, and his presence at a ball somewhat of an anomaly, if he does not
+possess an acquaintance in the room, through whom he can become known to
+one or other of the stewards, or through whom he can be introduced to
+any particular lady with whom he may desire to dance.</p>
+
+<p>When a gentleman is introduced to a young lady at a public ball, it
+generally means that he is introduced to her as a partner, and that
+though he may not ask her for the next dance, he will for a subsequent
+one, or that he will at least offer to take her in to supper, or, if
+earlier in the evening, to give her some tea, or if she declines these
+civilities, that he will continue a conversation with her until the next
+dance commences, or until a dance is over. When a gentleman does neither
+of these things, but walks away as soon as the introduction is made, it
+is a proof how little he desired it, and that doubtless the option was
+not given him of refusing it.</p>
+
+<p>Good-natured friends of both sexes know how difficult it is to get
+partners for well-dressed, well-mannered, good-looking girls at a ball,
+unless they are more than ordinarily attractive in some way or other, in
+which case they are popular and sought after, and the only difficulty
+rests with the young ladies themselves as to how they shall best
+apportion the dances so as to satisfy their numerous partners, or
+persuade their chaperons to stay for one more dance which they have
+promised to, etc.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page14" name="page14"></a>[p.14]</span>It is a well-known fact in the ball-going world that the
+majority of young men insist upon being introduced to the most popular
+girls in a ball-room, and refuse being introduced to one who does not
+appear to have plenty of partners.</p>
+
+<p>Public balls are in reality made up of a number of small parties and
+different sets, each set or party being entirely independent of the
+other.</p>
+
+<p>At county balls the county people take large house-parties, and each
+house-party does or does not mingle with other house-parties, according
+to standing or inclination.</p>
+
+<p>If three large house-parties join forces at a ball they form a very
+imposing majority; but there are other sets in the same ball-room,
+dancing to the same band and adjourning to the same supper-room, equally
+apart and equally distinct.</p>
+
+<p>At balls held at watering-places, although the residents do not take
+large house-parties, yet they join forces with those residents with whom
+they are acquainted, reinforced by friends who come down purposely to be
+present at the ball. Thus, on the face of it, a steward's introductions
+cannot fail to be ill-received, in whatever set he may be coerced into
+making them; and it is well understood that introductions, to prove
+acceptable, should only be made through friends and acquaintances, and
+even then with tact and judgment.</p>
+
+<p>As the stewards of a ball are usually the most influential gentlemen in
+the place, it naturally follows that they are acquainted with many, if
+not with all, of the principal people present, therefore when they make
+introductions it is not by virtue of their office, but simply as a
+matter of friendship, and through being personally acquainted with those
+introduced by them.</p>
+
+<p>Introductions out of doors are rather a matter of inclination than not,
+as, for instance, when a lady is walking with another lady to whom she
+is on a visit she should introduce any friends to her hostess she might
+happen to <span class="pagenum"><a id="page15" name="page15"></a>[p.15]</span>meet, and her hostess should do likewise if time and
+opportunity offer for so doing; should any reason exist for not making
+an introduction on the part of either lady, it should be explained when
+they are again alone, as were either of the ladies to exclude the other
+from the conversation it would be considered discourteous towards the
+one excluded. When two ladies accidentally meet when out walking, and
+are subsequently joined by two or more ladies, introductions should not
+be made by either of the ladies, unless some special reason exists for
+so doing. A lady, as a rule, should not introduce gentlemen to each
+other unless one of them is her host, when it would be correct to do so.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">How to act on the Occasion of an Introduction</span> is determined almost
+entirely upon the reason for its being made, and by whom and to whom the
+person is introduced. Even the <i>locale</i> has something to do with it, and
+thus a variety of issues are raised, upon which an instantaneous
+judgment has to be given. The mind has to travel with lightning rapidity
+over the ground to arrive at a correct course of action; but the mind
+does not always respond to the call made upon it: it hesitates, and acts
+not upon the outcome of reflection, but upon the spur of the moment.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Received Rule is not to shake hands</span>, but merely to bow on being
+introduced; but this rule under certain circumstances would not meet the
+case; it would disappoint the one introducing and the one introduced.
+For instance if a relative of the former is the person introduced a bow
+would be a very chilling response to the introduction made; to shake
+hands, on the contrary, would be the correct thing to do, and both
+persons should offer at the same moment this cordial recognition. On the
+other hand, if a casual introduction is made without any premeditation,
+and those introduced are totally unknown to each other, an exchange of
+bows is all that is required of them.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page16" name="page16"></a>[p.16]</span><span class="subchap">Amongst the Exceptions for not merely bowing</span> on being introduced
+are the introductions made between young ladies and elderly ones, and
+between young ladies themselves. An elderly lady, as a general rule,
+shakes hands with a girl introduced to her with the idea of being
+cordial and kind, not to say condescending, and girls generally shake
+hands with each other in place of bowing, as acquaintanceships formed by
+them have not the importance that attaches to those of older ladies;
+besides, a greater readiness to make friends is the privilege and
+characteristic of youth.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Men take very much the Same View</span> as regards introductions as do
+women&mdash;that is to say, if an introduction is made by a relative of the
+man introduced, the men would shake hands and not merely bow. This holds
+equally good where intimate friends are concerned: they almost rank on
+the footing of relations, and a cordial reception is given to an
+introduction thus made. When casual introductions are made of necessity
+rather than of intention men do not shake hands. When "I think you have
+met A." or "I think you know Mr. A." is said&mdash;the one by a host and the
+other by a hostess&mdash;nothing further is required from either than a bow
+and a smile of acquiescence accepting the introduction and a disclaimer
+is not expected if "Mr. A." is not actually known. The uncertainty is an
+excuse for making the introduction.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Ladies do not rise from their Seats on being introduced either at an "At
+Home"</span> or before dinner is announced, or after dinner, or when calling
+when people are introduced to them, or when they themselves are
+introduced. Half an exception occurs, it is true, at crowded "at homes,"
+when to rise and talk to the lady introduced is almost a necessity:
+there is no vacant seat for her to take, and, therefore, if both do not
+stand, conversation is at a deadlock, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page17" name="page17"></a>[p.17]</span>as the few first
+conventional remarks made by either are lost in the general buzz going
+on around; also, it is awkward and ungraceful for a lady to bend over
+one seated for the purpose of saying a few platitudes. "Introductory
+remarks," or remarks following upon introductions, have too often a
+melancholy ring of commonplaceness about them and are distinctly trite.
+How can they be otherwise? To venture out of the commonplace into
+originality would be suspicious of eccentricity, and no one wishes to be
+considered a little odd.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Before and after Dinner, when Introductions are made</span> between ladies it
+is to those seated near to each other, and, therefore, there would be no
+occasion to rise, as there might be at an "at home." There is no
+question of a lady rising from her seat when a man is introduced to her,
+unless that man is her host, when she should rise and shake hands with
+him, or a clerical dignity&mdash;a bishop for instance, if opportunity allows
+of it, and on a semi-official occasion. This question does not trouble
+men, as they are usually found standing, or they are brought up to a
+person to be introduced, and even if a man ventures upon sitting down at
+an "at home," or before dinner is announced, he springs to his feet with
+alacrity when any approach is made in the matter of introducing him to a
+fellow guest.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Introductions often have to be made at Afternoon Calls</span>, supposing that
+two or three callers only are present and the hostess feels that she
+must render the talk general by making some kind of introduction, direct
+or indirect, as she thinks best. The ladies thus introduced remain
+seated and bow. They do not shake hands even under the exceptional
+conditions previously referred to, but they would at once join in the
+talk that passes for conversation, and on departure would shake hands
+with the relative in question after having shaken hands with the hostess
+and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page18" name="page18"></a>[p.18]</span>having expressed pleasure at meeting this near
+relative&mdash;mother or sister, or whoever she may happen to be.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Introductions between Callers</span> made under enforced circumstances have not
+much bearing on future acquaintance. Those introduced pass so short a
+time in each other's company, and know practically nothing of each
+other's surroundings, that they are uncertain whether at future meetings
+they ought to recollect that such introductions have taken place, and
+whether they should bow or forget. Actually it would be correct to bow
+if the opportunity is given so to do, but unless the wish to bestow
+recognition is mutual it is of little avail if grudgingly given, and it
+would be worse still were it withheld. Some people have short memories
+for faces, and others are short-sighted, and both these drawbacks have
+to be reckoned with when expecting recognition from a person to whom one
+has been thus introduced.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page19" name="page19"></a>[p.19]</span><a id="chap3" name="chap3">CHAPTER III</a></h2>
+<h3>LEAVING CARDS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> etiquette of card-leaving is a privilege which society places in the
+hands of ladies to govern and determine their acquaintanceships and
+intimacies, to regulate and decide whom they will, and whom they will
+not visit, whom they will admit into their friendship, and whom they
+will keep on the most distant footing, whose acquaintance they wish
+further to cultivate and whose to discontinue.</p>
+
+<p>It would seem that the act of leaving cards is but imperfectly
+understood, and that many erroneous impressions prevail respecting the
+actual use of visiting cards: The object of leaving cards is to signify
+that a call has been made, due civility shown, and a like civility
+expected in return.</p>
+
+<p>Leaving cards, or card-leaving, is one of the most important of social
+observances, as it is the ground-work or nucleus in general society of
+all acquaintanceships. Leaving cards, according to etiquette, is the
+first step towards forming, or towards enlarging, a circle of
+acquaintances, and the non-fulfilment of the prescribed rules is a sure
+step in the opposite direction. The following is the received code of
+card-leaving in all its details according to the etiquette observed in
+good society by both ladies and gentlemen, and should be faithfully
+followed.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Lady's Visiting Card</span> should be printed in small, clear copper-plate
+script, and free from any kind of <span class="pagenum"><a id="page20" name="page20"></a>[p.20]</span>embellishment as regards
+ornamental or Old English letters. It should not be a thin card, and
+should be three inches and five eighths in width, and slightly under two
+and a half in depth.</p>
+
+<p>The name of the lady should be printed in the centre of the card, and
+her address in the left-hand corner. If she has a second address, it
+should be printed in the opposite corner of the card. If the second
+address is but a temporary one, it is usually written and not printed.</p>
+
+<p>A married lady should never use her christian name on a card; but she
+should use her husband's christian name before her surname if his father
+or elder brother is living.</p>
+
+<p>It is now considered old-fashioned for husbands and wives to have their
+names printed on the same card, although at watering-places, the
+practice of having the two names on the same card, "Mr. and Mrs. Dash,"
+is still occasionally followed; but even when these cards are used, a
+lady and gentleman still require separate cards of their own.</p>
+
+<p>A lady having a large acquaintance should keep a visiting book, in which
+to enter the names of her acquaintances, and the date when their cards
+were left upon her, with the dates of her return cards left upon them,
+that she might know whether a card were due to her from them, or whether
+it were due to them from her.</p>
+
+<p>A lady having a small acquaintance would find a memorandum book
+sufficient for the purpose; a line should be drawn down the centre of
+every page, dividing it into two columns, the one column for the names,
+and the opposite column for the dates of the calls made and returned.</p>
+
+<p>Leaving cards principally devolves upon the mistress of a house; a wife
+should leave cards for her husband, as well as for herself; and a
+daughter for her father. The master of a house has little or no
+card-leaving to do, beyond leaving cards upon his bachelor friends.</p>
+
+<p>In the country it is otherwise, and those who return <span class="pagenum"><a id="page21" name="page21"></a>[p.21]</span>home are
+called upon by their friends and acquaintances in the first instance,
+unless under exceptional circumstances.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies arriving in town should leave cards on their acquaintances and
+friends to intimate that they have returned.</p>
+
+<p>Visiting cards should be left in person, and should not be sent by post,
+although in town, when the distance is considerable, it is tacitly
+allowed; but, as a rule, ladies invariably leave their cards themselves.
+On arriving in town for the season ladies having a large acquaintance
+often send their visiting cards to their various friends and
+acquaintances by a man-servant or through a stationer.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Routine of Card-leaving.</span>&mdash;As regards the routine of card-leaving.
+When driving, a lady should desire her footman to inquire if the
+mistress of the house at which she is calling is "at home." If not "at
+home," and it is a first call, she should hand him <i>three</i> cards&mdash;<i>one</i>
+of her own, and <i>two</i> of her husband's. Her card is left for the
+mistress of the house, and her husband's cards for both master and
+mistress.</p>
+
+<p>If not a first call a lady should leave one only of her husband's cards
+if his acquaintance with her friend's husband is an intimate one and
+they are in the habit of meeting frequently. If, on the contrary, they
+know each other but slightly, and meet but seldom, then two of his cards
+should be left. This, however, not on every occasion of calling.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is merely leaving cards, she should hand the three cards to
+her servant, saying, "For Mrs. &mdash;&mdash;." This ensures the cards being left
+at the right address, and is the correct formula for the occasion.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is walking, and finds the mistress of the house at which she
+calls is "not at home," she should act as above.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady intends making a call she should ask if <span class="pagenum"><a id="page22" name="page22"></a>[p.22]</span>"Mrs. &mdash;&mdash;
+is at home?" And if the answer is in the affirmative, she should, after
+making the call, leave <i>two</i> of her husband's cards on the hall table,
+and neither put them in the card-basket nor leave them on the
+drawing-room table, nor offer them to her hostess, all of which would be
+very incorrect; but she might on reaching the hall hand them to the
+man-servant silently, or she might send them in by her own servant when
+seated in her carriage, saying, "For Mr. and Mrs. Smith." She should not
+leave her <i>own</i> card on the hall table, as, having seen the lady of the
+house, the reason for doing so no longer exists.<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></p>
+
+<p>When a lady calling is accompanied by her husband and the mistress of
+the house is at home, the husband should leave one of his cards only,
+for the absent master of the house; when the master of the house is at
+home also, a card in that case should not be left.</p>
+
+<p>When the mistress of a house has a grown-up daughter or daughters, the
+lady leaving cards should turn down one corner of her visiting card&mdash;the
+right-hand corner generally&mdash;to include the daughter or daughters in the
+call. This custom of turning down a corner of a visiting card signifies
+that other ladies of the family besides the hostess are included in the
+call. A foreigner turns down the <i>end</i> of a card instead of one corner
+only, which has not the same signification. It is to denote that he has
+left it in person.</p>
+
+<p>A lady should not leave one of her husband's cards for the daughters of
+the house, but she not unfrequently leaves his card for the grown-up
+sons of the house.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady intends leaving cards on a friend who is the guest of some
+one with whom she is unacquainted, she should only leave cards for her
+friend and not for her friend's hostess; but if she is slightly
+acquainted with her <span class="pagenum"><a id="page23" name="page23"></a>[p.23]</span>friend's hostess, she should leave cards
+upon her on the occasion of her first visit to her friend, but it would
+not be necessary to do so at every subsequent visit, especially if they
+were of frequent occurrence.</p>
+
+<p>Young ladies should not have visiting cards of their own; their names
+should be printed beneath that of their mother on her card. In the case
+of there being no mother living, the daughter's name should be printed
+beneath that of her father on the usual lady's visiting card, but never
+on the smaller cards used by gentlemen. When young ladies are taken out
+into society by relatives or friends, their names should be written in
+pencil under the names of the ladies chaperoning them on their visiting
+cards.</p>
+
+<p>Maiden ladies of a certain age should have visiting cards of their own,
+but until a young lady has attained what is termed a certain age, it
+argues no little independence of action to have a card of her own; but
+when she no longer requires chaperonage, she is entitled to a card of
+her own, being clearly her own mistress, and able to choose her own
+acquaintances.</p>
+
+<p>When a young lady is on a visit unaccompanied by her parents, and wishes
+to call on ladies with whom the lady she is staying with is
+unacquainted, she should leave her mother's card on which her own name
+is also printed, and should draw a pencil through her mother's name to
+intimate that she was not with her on that occasion.</p>
+
+<p>Cards should always be returned within a week if possible, or ten days
+at latest, after they have been left, but to do so within a week is more
+courteous. And care must be taken to return the "call" or "cards"
+according to the etiquette observed by the person making the call or
+leaving the card; that is to say, that a "call" must <i>not</i> be returned
+by a card only, or a "card" by a "call." This is a point ladies should
+be very punctilious about.</p>
+
+<p>Should a lady of higher rank return a card by a "call," asking if the
+mistress of the house were "at home," her so <span class="pagenum"><a id="page24" name="page24"></a>[p.24]</span>doing would be in
+strict etiquette; and should she return a "call" by a card only, it
+should be understood that she wished the acquaintance to be of the
+slightest; and should a lady call upon an acquaintance of higher rank
+than herself, who had only left a card upon her, her doing so would be a
+breach of etiquette.</p>
+
+<p>In large establishments the hall porter enters the names of all callers
+in a book expressly kept for the purpose, while some ladies merely
+desire their servant to sort the cards left for them.</p>
+
+<p>The name of the lady or gentleman for whom the cards are intended should
+never be written on the cards left at a house. The only case in which it
+should be done would be when cards are left on a lady or a gentleman
+staying at a crowded hotel, when, to save confusion, and to ensure their
+receiving them, their names should be written on them thus: "For Mr. and
+Mrs. Smith." But this would be quite an exceptional case, otherwise to
+do so would be extremely vulgar.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Leaving Cards after Entertainments.</span>&mdash;Visiting cards should be left after
+the following entertainments: balls, receptions, private theatricals,
+amateur concerts, and dinners, by those who have been invited, whether
+the invitations have been accepted or not, and should be left the day
+after the entertainment if possible, and certainly within the week
+according to the rules of card-leaving already described. On these
+occasions cards should be left without inquiry as to whether the hostess
+is at home, although after a dinner-party it is the rule to ask if she
+is at home, as to dine at a house denotes a greater intimacy than being
+present at a large gathering. If the hostess were not at home, cards
+should be left.</p>
+
+<p>If a lady has been but once present at any entertainment, whether the
+invitation came through a mutual friend or direct from the hostess
+herself, the hostess being but a slight acquaintance of her own, besides
+leaving cards on <span class="pagenum"><a id="page25" name="page25"></a>[p.25]</span>her the day following, she can, if she
+desires, leave cards on her the following season, or, if residing in the
+same town, within a reasonable time of the entertainment; but if these
+cards are not acknowledged by cards being left in return, she should of
+course understand that the acquaintance is to proceed no further.</p>
+
+<p>A lady should not leave cards on another lady to whom she has but
+recently been introduced at a dinner-party or afternoon tea; for
+instance, she must meet her several times in society, and feel sure that
+her acquaintance is desired, before venturing to leave cards. If two
+ladies are of equal rank, tact will be their best guide as to the
+advisability of leaving cards or not upon each other; the lady of
+superior rank may take the initiative if she pleases. If either of the
+ladies express a wish to further the acquaintance by asking the other to
+call upon her, the suggestion should come from the lady of highest rank;
+if of equal rank it is immaterial as to which first makes the
+suggestion. But in either case the call should be paid within the week.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Leaving Cards upon New-comers.</span>&mdash;In the country the residents should be
+the first to leave cards on the new-comers, after ascertaining the
+position which the new-comers occupy in society.</p>
+
+<p>Persons moving in the same sphere should either leave cards or call
+according as they intend to be ceremonious or friendly, and the return
+visits should be paid in like manner, a card for a card, a call for a
+call.</p>
+
+<p>It is the received rule that residents should call on new-comers,
+although having no previous acquaintance with them, or introductions to
+them.</p>
+
+<p>New-comers, even if of higher rank, should not call on residents in the
+first instance, but should wait until the residents have taken the
+initiative. If residents do not wish to continue the acquaintance after
+the first meeting, it is discontinued by not leaving cards, or by not
+calling <span class="pagenum"><a id="page26" name="page26"></a>[p.26]</span>again, and if the new-comers feel disinclined to
+continue the acquaintance they should return the calls by leaving cards
+only. Calling on new-comers in the country should not be done
+indiscriminately, and due consideration should be paid to individual
+status in society.</p>
+
+<p>The lady of highest social position in the circle to which the
+new-comers belong generally takes the responsibility of calling first on
+the new-comers. By new-comers is expressed persons who intend to reside
+in a county or town for a long, or even for a short period, and who are
+not casual visitors in the place.</p>
+
+<p>The custom of residents calling on new-comers is entirely confined to
+county society, and does not apply to residents in large towns and
+populous watering-places.</p>
+
+<p>In old cathedral cities and quiet country towns, far from the
+metropolis, on the contrary, the rule holds good of residents calling on
+new-comers.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Cards "To Inquire."</span>&mdash;Cards to inquire after friends during their illness
+should be left in person, and should not be sent by post; but they may
+be sent by a servant. On a lady's visiting card should be written above
+the printed name: "To inquire after Mrs. Smith." When the person
+inquired after is sufficiently recovered to return thanks in person, the
+usual visiting card, with "many thanks for kind inquiries," written
+above the printed name, is the usual mode of returning thanks, and is
+all-sufficient for the purpose.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">P.P.C. Cards.</span>&mdash;Formerly P.P.C. cards were left within a week of
+departure, or within ten days if the acquaintance was a large one.</p>
+
+<p>The letters P.P.C. for <i>pour prendre congé</i>, written at the lower corner
+of visiting cards, indicate departure from town or from a neighbourhood.
+P.P.C. cards may be left in person or sent by a servant; they can also
+be sent by post. The object of leaving P.P.C. cards is to avoid
+leave-takings <span class="pagenum"><a id="page27" name="page27"></a>[p.27]</span>and correspondence concerning departure, and to
+prevent offence being given if letters and invitations remained
+unanswered.</p>
+
+<p>In the country an absence of from three to six months renders leaving
+P.P.C. cards somewhat necessary; under that period it would be
+unnecessary to give notice of a temporary absence which does not amount
+to an actual departure. Short absences render it unnecessary to leave
+P.P.C. cards. Holiday movements at Christmas, Easter, and Whitsuntide
+are thoroughly recognized, and no leave-taking is obligatory. P.P.C.
+cards are now seldom if ever left in town.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Business Calls.</span>&mdash;When a lady makes a strictly business call upon either
+a lady or gentleman she should give her card to the servant to be taken
+to his master or mistress, but on no other occasion should she do so.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Gentlemen's Visiting Cards.</span>&mdash;A gentleman's card should be thin&mdash;thick
+cards are not in good taste&mdash;and not glazed, and of the usual narrow
+width, <i>i.e.</i> one and a half inches in depth, and three inches in width;
+his name should be printed in the centre, thus: "Mr. Smith" or "Mr.
+Francis Smith," should he require the addition of his christian name to
+distinguish him from his father or elder brother. To have "Francis
+Smith" printed on the card without the prefix of "Mr." would be in bad
+taste.</p>
+
+<p>Initials appertaining to honorary rank should never be written or
+printed on a card, such as D.L., K.C., M.P., K.C.B., M.D., etc. Military
+or professional titles necessarily precede the surname of the person
+bearing them, and are always used, such as "Colonel Smith," "Captain
+Smith," "Rev. H. Smith," "Dr. Smith," etc.</p>
+
+<p>As regards titles, "The Honourable" is the only title that is not used
+on a visiting card. Thus "The Honourable Henry Smith's" card should bear
+the words "Mr. Henry Smith" only.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page28" name="page28"></a>[p.28]</span>A Baronet's card should be printed thus, "Sir George Smith," and
+a Knight's card thus, "Sir Charles Smith." A gentleman's address should
+be printed in the left hand corner of the card. If a member of a club,
+it is usual to print the name of the club at the right hand. Officers
+usually have the name of the club printed at the left hand corner in the
+place of the address, and the regiment to which they belong at the right
+hand.</p>
+
+<p>Cards should be printed in small copper-plate script, without
+ornamentation of any kind. Old English letters look old-fashioned on a
+card, and are but little used; and ornamental capital letters are never
+used, and are out of date. The lettering should be as plain and as free
+from any sort of embellishment as it well can be.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Routine of Card-leaving for Gentlemen.</span>&mdash;To bachelors card-leaving is
+an irksome routine of etiquette, and is, therefore, in a measure often
+neglected, by reason of their having little or no leisure at command
+during the afternoon hours. This is now thoroughly understood and
+accepted in general society. When, however, a bachelor has his way to
+make in society and has leisure to further the acquaintanceships he has
+already made, he should follow the rules of card-leaving.</p>
+
+<p>Bachelors, as a rule, are expected to leave cards on the master and
+mistress of a house with whom they are acquainted as soon as they are
+aware that the family have arrived in town; or if a bachelor himself has
+been away, he should leave cards on his acquaintances immediately after
+his return. He should leave one card for the mistress of the house and
+one for its master.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman should not turn down a corner of his card, even though he
+may be acquainted with other ladies of the family besides the mistress
+of the house. A gentleman should not leave a card for the young
+daughters of the house, or for any young relative of its mistress who
+might <span class="pagenum"><a id="page29" name="page29"></a>[p.29]</span>be staying with her; but if a married couple with whom he
+is acquainted were staying with the friends on whom he is calling, he
+should leave two cards for them, one for the wife and one for the
+husband, and should tell the servant for whom they are intended.</p>
+
+<p>As regards leaving cards upon new acquaintances, a gentleman should not
+leave his card upon a married lady, or the mistress of a house, to whom
+he has been introduced, however gracious or agreeable she has been to
+him, unless she expressly asks him to call, or gives him to understand
+in an unmistakable manner that his doing so would be agreeable to her.
+This rule holds good, whether the introduction has taken place at a
+dinner-party, at a ball, at an "at home," at a country-house gathering,
+or elsewhere; he would not be entitled to leave his card on her on such
+slight acquaintanceship; as, if she desired his further acquaintance,
+she would make some polite allusion to his calling at her house, in
+which case he should leave his card on her as soon afterwards as
+convenient, and he should also leave a card for the master of the house,
+the lady's husband or father (as the case may be), even if he had not
+made his acquaintance when making that of the lady.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman should not leave a card on a young lady to whom he has been
+introduced, but upon her mother or the relative with whom she is
+residing.</p>
+
+<p>When the acquaintance existing between gentlemen is but slight, they
+should occasionally leave cards upon each other, especially when they do
+not move in the same circle, and are not otherwise likely to meet; it
+generally follows that the one who most desires the acquaintanceship is
+the one to leave his card first, always supposing that the strength of
+the acquaintance would warrant his so doing. The one of highest rank
+should be the one to intimate that he desires the acquaintance of the
+other; if the rank be equal, it is a matter of inclination which calls
+first.</p>
+
+<p>The rules of etiquette, though stringent as regards <span class="pagenum"><a id="page30" name="page30"></a>[p.30]</span>
+acquaintances, have little or no application as regards intimate
+friends; friendship overrules etiquette.</p>
+
+<p>When a bachelor has a number of intimate friends, very little
+card-leaving is required from him as far as they are concerned.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Leaving Cards after Entertainments.</span>&mdash;In the event of a gentleman
+receiving an invitation to an entertainment from an acquaintance, or
+from a new acquaintance, or through some mutual friend, he should leave
+his cards at the house within a week or ten days after the
+entertainment, one for the mistress and one for the master of the house,
+whether he has accepted the invitation or not. Between friends this rule
+is greatly relaxed.</p>
+
+<p>It is usual for a gentleman to leave his cards on the host or on the
+hostess, after every entertainment to which he has been invited by them,
+whether it be a dinner-party, or ball, or "at home," etc. Whether he has
+been present or not, the fact of his having been invited by them obliges
+him to pay them this civility, although great latitude as regards time
+is now accorded in general society with regard to this particular rule.</p>
+
+<p>If invited by a new acquaintance, the cards should be left a few days
+after the entertainment, but if by a less recent acquaintance they
+should be left within ten days or a fortnight, but the earlier the cards
+are left the greater the politeness shown.</p>
+
+<p>If a bachelor acquaintance gives an entertainment, the same rule applies
+as to the necessity of cards being left on him by those gentlemen but
+slightly acquainted with him who have been invited to the entertainment.</p>
+
+<p>When a gentleman has been invited to an entertainment given at the house
+of a new acquaintance, whether the acquaintance be a lady or a
+gentleman, it would be etiquette for him to leave his card upon them on
+their arrival in town or elsewhere, even though they may not have
+invited him <span class="pagenum"><a id="page31" name="page31"></a>[p.31]</span>to any subsequent entertainment given by them
+within the year. If during the following year they do not again invite
+him, he might consider the acquaintance at an end and cease to call.
+These complimentary calls made, or rather cards left, should not average
+more than four during the year.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Memorial Cards</span> are out of date in society, and consequently should not
+be sent to either relatives or friends.</p>
+
+<p>A widow should not make use of her christian name on her visiting cards
+to distinguish her from other members of her late husband's family. Her
+cards should be printed as during his lifetime.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page32" name="page32"></a>[p.32]</span><a id="chap4" name="chap4">CHAPTER IV</a></h2>
+<h3>PAYING CALLS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Ladies</span> stand upon strict and ceremonious etiquette with each other as
+regards both paying and receiving calls. Ignorance or neglect of the
+rules which regulate paying calls, brings many inconveniences in its
+train; for instance, when a lady neglects to pay a call due to an
+acquaintance, she runs the risk of herself and daughters being excluded
+from entertainments given by the said acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>When a call has not been made within a reasonable time, a coldness is
+apt to arise between ladies but slightly acquainted with each other.
+Some ladies take this omission good-naturedly or indifferently, while
+with others the acquaintance merges into a mere bowing acquaintance to
+be subsequently dropped altogether.</p>
+
+<p>The first principle of calling is, that those who are the first to
+arrive in town should be the <i>first</i> to call upon their acquaintances to
+intimate their return.</p>
+
+<p>"Morning calls," so designated on account of their being made before
+dinner, are, more strictly speaking, "afternoon calls," as they should
+only be made between the hours of three and six o'clock.</p>
+
+<p>Calls made in the morning&mdash;that is before one o'clock&mdash;would not come
+under the denomination of "morning calls," as they can only be made by
+intimate friends and not by acquaintances, and are not, therefore,
+amenable to the rules of etiquette which govern the afternoon calls,
+which calls are regulated in a great measure&mdash;as to the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page33" name="page33"></a>[p.33]</span>hour of
+calling&mdash;by the exact degree of intimacy existing between the person who
+calls and the person called upon. From three to four o'clock is the
+ceremonious hour for calling; from four to five o'clock is the
+semi-ceremonious hour; and from five to six o'clock is the wholly
+friendly and without ceremony hour.</p>
+
+<p>If a lady is driving when she calls at the house of an acquaintance, she
+should say to her servant, "Ask if Mrs. A&mdash;&mdash; is at home."</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is walking, she should ask the same question herself.</p>
+
+<p>When the answer is in the negative, she should leave one of her own
+cards and one of her husband's, and should say to the servant, "For Mr.
+and Mrs. A&mdash;&mdash;."</p>
+
+<p>When the answer is in the affirmative, the lady should enter the house
+without further remark and follow the servant to the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>The servant should go before the visitor, to lead the way to the
+drawing-room, and, however accustomed a visitor may be to a house, it is
+still the proper etiquette for the servant to lead the way, and announce
+him or her to his mistress; and this rule should not be dispensed with,
+except in the case of very near relations or very intimate friends.</p>
+
+<p>At the drawing-room door the servant waits for a moment until the
+visitor has reached the landing, when the visitor should give his or her
+name to the servant, "Mr. A&mdash;&mdash;" or "Mrs. A&mdash;&mdash;," should the servant be
+unacquainted with it.</p>
+
+<p>If the visitor calling bears the title of "Honourable" it should not be
+mentioned by him or her to the servant when giving the name, neither
+should it be mentioned by the servant when announcing the visitor.</p>
+
+<p>All titles are given in full by the servants of those who bear them,
+thus: "The Duke and Duchess of A&mdash;&mdash;," "The Marquis and Marchioness of
+B&mdash;&mdash;," "The Earl <span class="pagenum"><a id="page34" name="page34"></a>[p.34]</span>and Countess of C&mdash;&mdash;," "Viscount and
+Viscountess D&mdash;&mdash;," "Lord and Lady E&mdash;&mdash;," etc.; but a marchioness, a
+countess, or a viscountess when giving her name to be announced at a
+morning call would style herself "Lady A&mdash;&mdash;" only.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman or lady should never give his or her visiting card to the
+servant when the mistress of the house is at home.</p>
+
+<p>A servant should not knock at the drawing-room door when announcing
+visitors. The servant, on opening the drawing-room door, should stand
+inside the doorway, he should not stand behind the door, but well into
+the room; facing the mistress of the house if possible, and should say,
+"Mr. A&mdash;&mdash;," or "Mrs. A&mdash;&mdash;."</p>
+
+<p>When the mistress of the house is not in the drawing-room when a visitor
+arrives, the visitor should seat herself and rise at her entrance.</p>
+
+<p>Visitors should not make any inquiries of the servant as to how long his
+mistress will be, or where she is, or what she is doing, etc. Visitors
+are not expected to converse with the servants of their acquaintances,
+and should not enter into conversation with them.</p>
+
+<p>Formerly a gentleman when calling, took his hat and stick in his hand
+with him into the drawing-room, and held them until he had seen the
+mistress of the house and shaken hands with her. He either placed them
+on a chair or table near at hand or held them in his hand, according as
+to whether he felt at ease or the reverse, until he took his leave. Many
+middle-aged and elderly men still follow this fashion in a degree, and
+take their hats and sticks into the drawing-room when making formal
+calls.</p>
+
+<p>The newer fashion amongst younger men is to leave their hats and sticks
+in the hall and not to take them into the drawing-room with them when
+calling. To do this is now very general, as hats are in the way if tea
+is going on; <span class="pagenum"><a id="page35" name="page35"></a>[p.35]</span>besides, men were apt to forget where they placed
+their hats, and frequently had to return to the drawing-room in search
+of them.</p>
+
+<p>At "at homes," small afternoon teas, luncheons, dinners, etc., the rule
+is the same, and hats are left in the hall by invited guests.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman should not take his stick or umbrella with him into the
+drawing-room, but leave it in the hall.</p>
+
+<p>When gentlemen wear gloves, they can take them off or keep them on as
+they please, it is immaterial which they do, but when a call is made
+when tea is going on, it is more usual to take them off.</p>
+
+<p>When the mistress of the house is in the drawing-room when a visitor is
+announced&mdash;and she should so arrange her occupations as always to be
+found there on the afternoons when she intends being "at home" should
+visitors call&mdash;she should rise, come forward, and shake hands with her
+visitor. She should not ask her visitor to be seated, or to "take a
+seat," but she might say, "Where will you sit?" or, "Will you sit here?"
+or something to this effect; and should at once sit down and expect her
+visitor to do the same, as near to herself as possible.</p>
+
+<p>Both hostess and visitor should guard against displaying a fussy
+demeanour during a morning call, as a morning call is oftener than not a
+<i>tête-à-tête</i>, and a <i>tête-à-tête</i> between two persons but slightly
+acquainted with each other requires a considerable amount of tact and
+<i>savoir vivre</i> to be sustained with ease and self-possession. A fussy
+woman is without repose, without dignity, and without <i>savoir vivre</i>.</p>
+
+<p>A hostess betrays that she is not much accustomed to society when she
+attempts to amuse her visitor by the production of albums, photographs,
+books, illustrated newspapers, portfolios of drawings, the artistic
+efforts of the members of the family, and the like; conversation being
+all that is necessary, without having recourse to pictorial displays.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page36" name="page36"></a>[p.36]</span>If not intimate enough to refer to family matters, the
+conversation should turn on light topics of the hour.<a name="FNanchor_A_2" id="FNanchor_A_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p>
+
+<p>People unused to society are apt to fall back upon the above
+adventitious aids. A hostess should rely solely upon her own powers of
+conversation to make the short quarter of an hour&mdash;which is the limit of
+a ceremonious call&mdash;pass pleasantly to her visitor. The hostess should
+not offer her visitor any refreshments, wine and cake, for instance. No
+refreshments whatever, save tea, should be offered to morning visitors;
+they are not supposed to require them.</p>
+
+<p>In the country it is customary to offer sherry to gentlemen callers, and
+to order tea for the ladies, even though the call is made rather early
+in the afternoon, and a little before the hour for having tea.</p>
+
+<p>Ceremonious visits are usually paid before the hour of half-past four;
+but if tea is brought in while the visitor is in the drawing-room, or if
+the visitor calls while the hostess is having tea, she should naturally
+offer her visitor tea.</p>
+
+<p>When the mistress of the house only expects a few callers, "tea" is
+placed on a small table&mdash;a silver tray being generally used for the
+purpose. The hostess should pour out the tea herself; when a gentleman
+is present, he should hand the cups to the visitors or visitor,
+otherwise the hostess should herself do so, and then hand the sugar and
+cream, without asking whether her visitors will have either, unless she
+is preparing the cups of tea herself, in which case she should ask the
+question.</p>
+
+<p>When a second visitor arrives, ten or fifteen minutes after the first
+visitor, the first visitor should take her leave as soon as she
+conveniently can. When the second visitor is a lady, the hostess should
+rise and shake hands with her, and then seat herself; the first visitor,
+if a lady, should not rise; if a gentleman, he should do so.</p>
+
+<p>A hostess should also rise and come forward when a gentleman is
+announced; this gives her an opportunity of <span class="pagenum"><a id="page37" name="page37"></a>[p.37]</span>talking to him for
+a few moments on his first entering the room. The second visitor should
+at once seat him or herself near to the hostess.</p>
+
+<p>She should introduce the callers to each other unless she has some
+especial reason for not doing so. She could, however, in the course of
+conversation merely mention the name of each caller, so that each may
+become aware of the name of the other. This is now often done when
+formal introductions are not made. If the hostess possesses tact, and a
+facility and readiness of speech, she should skilfully draw both callers
+into the conversation (a subject which is fully enlarged upon in "The
+Art of Conversing"). The hostess should not take this latter course
+unless aware that the two visitors would be likely to appreciate each
+other.</p>
+
+<p>When one visitor arrives immediately after the other, the hostess should
+converse equally with both visitors, and the lady who was the first to
+arrive should be the first to leave, after a call of from ten to fifteen
+minutes. When only one visitor is present the hostess should accompany
+her to the door of the drawing-room, and linger for a few moments,
+whilst the visitor is descending the stairs. To do so would not be
+imperative, but it would be courteous. When the host is present he
+should accompany the lady downstairs into the hall; this also is an
+optional civility, and greatly depends upon the estimation in which the
+lady is held by host and hostess.</p>
+
+<p>When two visitors are present the hostess should rise and shake hands
+with the departing visitor; but unless a person of greater consideration
+than the visitor who still remained seated, she should not accompany her
+to the drawing-room door.</p>
+
+<p>One visitor should not rise from her seat when another is about to take
+her leave. When visitors are acquainted with each other they should rise
+and shake hands. When one of the visitors is a gentleman he should rise,
+even if <span class="pagenum"><a id="page38" name="page38"></a>[p.38]</span>unacquainted with the lady who is about to take her
+leave; he should not remain seated when the hostess is standing.</p>
+
+<p>When two visitors, either two ladies or two gentlemen, have slightly
+conversed with each other during a morning call, they should not shake
+hands with each other on leaving, but should merely bow. When they have
+not spoken to each other, they should not bow.</p>
+
+<p>When they have been formally introduced they should still only bow,
+unless the acquaintance has progressed into sudden intimacy through
+previous knowledge of each other.</p>
+
+<p>When one of the visitors present is a gentleman he should open the
+drawing-room door for the departing visitor, but he should not accompany
+her downstairs unless requested by the hostess to do so; the visitor
+should bow to him and thank him, but not shake hands with him.</p>
+
+<p>When the hostess has shaken hands with a guest, and before crossing the
+room with her, she should ring the drawing-room bell, that the servant
+may be in readiness in the hall to open the door. She should ring the
+bell even if the host were accompanying the lady downstairs. It would be
+thoughtless on the part of the hostess to forget to ring the bell to
+give notice to the servant that a visitor was leaving.</p>
+
+<p>In the country, the caller before rising to depart sometimes asks if she
+may ring for her motor-car to come round. When the hostess is in reach
+of the bell, she should ring it for her; when a gentleman is present, he
+should do so. On the servant's entrance, the caller should say, "My
+motor-car, please!"</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is calling on a friend, the guest of some one with whom she
+herself is unacquainted, or even but slightly acquainted, she should in
+both cases ask if her friend is at home, and not if the mistress of the
+house is at home; and having paid her visit, on leaving the house she
+should leave cards for its mistress if she is slightly acquainted with
+her, but should not do so if she is unacquainted with her.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page39" name="page39"></a>[p.39]</span>When a lady has a guest staying on a visit to her, if
+convenient, she should, when her guest expected visitors, absent herself
+from the drawing-room at that particular time, unless the expected
+visitors are mutual friends of herself and guest.</p>
+
+<p>If she is in the drawing-room with her guests when a visitor is
+announced so as to render an introduction inevitable, a formal
+introduction should be made, but the mistress of the house, after a very
+few minutes, should make some excuse, quietly leave the room, and not
+return until after the departure of the visitor. It would be
+inconsiderate were the mistress of the house to remain in the
+drawing-room while calls were paid to her guest by strangers to herself
+unless at her guest's particular request. When a visitor is a gentleman,
+and the guest a young unmarried lady, the mistress of the house should
+remain in the drawing-room to chaperon her.</p>
+
+<p>When the mistress of the house is desirous of making the acquaintance of
+any particular friend of her guest, from whom she expected a visit, when
+the visit occurs and previous to the visitor taking her leave, the guest
+should ask if she will allow her to introduce her to the lady with whom
+she is staying. If her visitor desires the introduction, she should then
+ring and request the servant to tell his mistress that Mrs. A. is in the
+drawing-room, which message the hostess would understand to mean that
+her presence is desired, and the introduction would then be made on her
+appearing. An introduction, if made in this manner, could become the
+basis of a future acquaintance, both ladies having had the option of
+refusing the acquaintance of the other if so disposed; whereas a forced
+introduction where no option is given would hardly count as the basis of
+a future acquaintance unless the ladies thus introduced mutually
+appreciated each other.</p>
+
+<p>In the country a guest seldom has friends and acquaintances in the
+neighbourhood, who are unknown to her <span class="pagenum"><a id="page40" name="page40"></a>[p.40]</span>hostess; if otherwise,
+the hostess should give her guest the opportunity of seeing her visitor
+by leaving them together when the call is made.</p>
+
+<p>When a guest is present when the mistress of a house is receiving
+callers, she should introduce them to her guest or her guest to them,
+according to the rank of either (see <a href="#chap2">Chapter II.</a>).</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is driving with a friend who is a stranger to the
+acquaintance on whom she is calling, she should not take her into the
+house with her while she makes her call, unless she is a young lady, or
+unless there is some especial reason for introducing the two ladies to
+each other, or unless both ladies have expressed a wish to become
+acquainted with each other. Husbands and wives occasionally pay calls
+together, but oftener they do not. A lady, as a rule, pays a call by
+herself, unless she has a grown-up daughter, when she should accompany
+her mother.</p>
+
+<p>Occasionally two ladies, both intimate with the lady of the house, pay
+their calls together. A family party, of father and mother and daughter,
+or daughters, rarely call in town together, save under very exceptional
+circumstances; but in the country a family party of three or four
+would, as a matter of course, call together; it is country etiquette to
+do so.</p>
+
+<p>A considerable difference exists with regard to "Sunday calls," or
+calling on Sundays. Ladies should not pay ceremonious calls on Sundays;
+it would not be etiquette for an acquaintance to call on a Sunday, it
+would rather be considered a liberty, unless she were expressly asked to
+do so. Intimate friends, on the contrary, often make Sunday a special
+day for calling, and therefore, ladies and gentlemen&mdash;more especially
+gentlemen&mdash;extend their calling hours from three until six o'clock on
+Sundays.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is acquainted with the daughters of a family only, and not
+with their father or mother, she should call on the daughters, who
+should at once introduce her to <span class="pagenum"><a id="page41" name="page41"></a>[p.41]</span>their mother on the next
+occasion of calling. If the mother is not present, the lady calling
+should leave cards for her; and at all morning calls, when the daughters
+of the house receive a ceremonious visit from an acquaintance, in the
+absence of their mother, whether from indisposition or any other cause,
+cards should be left for her in the hall before leaving by the lady
+calling (see <a href="#chap3">Chapter III.</a>).</p>
+
+<p>In all cases, when "morning calls" are made, and the lady called on is
+not at home, cards should be left according to the etiquette described
+in <a href="#chap2">Chapter II.</a>, an etiquette which should be strictly observed; when the
+lady called on is "at home," cards should be left for the gentlemen of
+the family, according to the same rules of card-leaving, which cannot be
+too punctiliously followed.</p>
+
+<p>A mistress of a house should inform her servant after or before
+luncheon, or before the hours for calling, whether she intends to be "at
+home" to visitors or not during the afternoon.</p>
+
+<p>"Not at home" is the understood formula expressive of not wishing to see
+visitors.</p>
+
+<p>"Not at home" is not intended to imply an untruth, but rather to signify
+that for some reason, or reasons, it is not desirable to see visitors;
+and as it would be impossible to explain to acquaintances the why and
+the wherefore of its being inconvenient to receive visitors, the formula
+of "Not at home" is all-sufficient explanation, provided always that a
+servant is able to give a direct answer at once of "Not at home" when
+the query is put to him. If a servant is not sure as to whether his
+mistress wishes to see visitors or not, it is almost a direct offence to
+the lady calling if he hesitates as to his answer, and leaves her either
+sitting in her carriage or standing in the hall, while "He will see if
+his mistress is 'at home,'" perhaps returning with the unsatisfactory
+answer that she is "Not at home"; in which case the intimation is almost
+received as a personal exclusion rather than as a general exclusion of
+visitors.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page42" name="page42"></a>[p.42]</span>If a lady is dressing to go out when a visitor calls, the
+servant can mention that fact to a visitor calling, and offer to
+ascertain if his mistress will see the caller; and the caller should use
+her own discretion as to whether she will allow him to do so or not; but
+unless the visit is one of importance, it would be best in such a case
+only to leave cards.</p>
+
+<p>When a second visitor calls, a servant should not be permitted to say
+that his mistress is "engaged with a lady," or "with a gentleman," but
+should usher the second caller into the drawing-room, as he has
+previously done the first caller. He should not inquire as to whether
+his mistress will see the second caller or not. Neither should he inform
+the second caller as to whether any one is or is not with his mistress,
+as ignorant servants are too apt to do.</p>
+
+<p>It is not usual to offer coffee at afternoon tea; tea only is given. To
+offer coffee is a foreign fashion, and not an English one.</p>
+
+<p>"Morning" callers should not be conducted to the dining-room to have
+tea; and tea is only served in the dining-room on the occasion of a
+large afternoon tea, or afternoon "at home," etc. (See chapter on
+"Afternoon 'At Homes'" <a href="#page151">p. 151.</a>)</p>
+
+<p>The tea hour varies from 4 to 4.30 o'clock. When callers are present at
+4 o'clock, tea should be brought in at that hour. It should be placed
+upon a small table, which is first covered with a white linen or damask
+tea-cloth. The tea-tray should be large enough to hold, in addition to
+the china, silver teapot, etc., an urn for hot water, which should be
+brought in and placed upon it. A stand containing hot cakes, an uncut
+cake, small cakes, tiny sandwiches, and thin bread-and-butter should be
+placed near to the tea-table. Tiny tea-plates should be placed in a pile
+upon the tea-tray, they being in general use. The hostess or her
+daughter should pour out the tea.</p>
+
+<p>Apart from the foregoing style of afternoon tea is the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page43" name="page43"></a>[p.43]</span>newer
+fashion of what might be termed "a round-table tea," at which hostess
+and guests sit, but this style is more usual at country houses than in
+town houses at present, on account of the space required, if for no
+other reason. The tea is served in a smaller drawing-room, upon a large
+round or oval table, which is covered with a white table-cloth, upon
+which the tea-tray with all its contents is placed. Cakes, hot and cold,
+sandwiches, pastry, fruit, jam, bread-and-butter, biscuits, dry toast,
+etc., are given, and the visitors seated at the table help themselves to
+what they require. The hostess pours out the tea and hands the cups as
+when guests are not seated in this way. Dessert plates and dessert
+knives and forks should be placed on the table beside the small
+tea-plates, to be taken as required.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page44" name="page44"></a>[p.44]</span><a id="chap5" name="chap5">CHAPTER V</a></h2>
+<h3>PRECEDENCY</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> order of precedency due to each individual according to rank is a
+matter of great importance at official banquets and at ceremonious
+dinner-parties, when its correct observance should be strictly adhered
+to.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards Precedency amongst Royal Personages</span>, the Sovereign takes
+precedence of all others in the realm; the King takes precedence of
+Queen Mary. The Prince of Wales takes precedence of the Duke of
+Connaught. Queen Alexandra takes precedence of the Royal Princesses. The
+Royal Princesses take precedence of their husbands, Prince Christian and
+the Duke of Argyll.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Precedency accorded to Foreign Royal Personages</span> in this country very
+much depends upon their individual rank. Imperial Highnesses and Royal
+Highnesses take precedence of Serene Highnesses.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Precedency accorded to Eastern Princes</span> is generally synonymous with
+that accorded to Serene Highnesses; but in some instances the claims of
+individual precedency are so difficult to define, that in official cases
+it is sometimes necessary to make a special rule as to the amount of
+precedency to be allowed.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards General Precedency</span>, archbishops, ambassadors, The Lord High
+Chancellor, The Prime Minister, Lord Chancellor of Ireland, Lord
+President of the Council, and Lord Privy Seal, take precedence of
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page45" name="page45"></a>[p.45]</span>dukes; dukes take precedence of earls, and so on throughout the
+various degrees of nobility.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Foreign Ministers and Envoys</span> take precedence next after dukes, in the
+order of their seniority of service in England. In all cases where
+precedency is to be established between persons of equal rank it is
+necessary to refer to a Peerage for date of creation of title, as this
+actually decides all precedency.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For Precedency due to Baronets</span> and their wives a Baronetage should be
+consulted.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For Precedency due to Knights</span> and their wives a Knightage should be
+consulted in reference to each order of knighthood.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For the Precedency due to the Legal Profession</span> a Law List should be
+consulted when it is not defined by office or birth.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For the Precedency due to the Clergy</span> a Clergy List should be consulted
+when superior preferment or birth does not define it.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For the Precedency due to Officers</span> in the army and navy an Army List and
+a Navy List should be consulted to determine the precedency due to each
+in the separate Services.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Officers should be sent in to Dinner</span> according to the dates of
+commission, but no branch of the Army takes precedence over the other as
+regards rank of officers; that is to say, a colonel of 1901, of say, a
+West India regiment, would precede a colonel of Guards, artillery or
+cavalry of 1902 promotion. Drawn up on a brigade <span class="pagenum"><a id="page46" name="page46"></a>[p.46]</span>parade, the
+cavalry take the right of the line; thus: Artillery, Royal Engineers,
+footguards and regular regiments, regiments and West India regiments, in
+the order named in the Army List.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards Precedency between Officers</span> of the combined Services a table
+of "Relative Rank and Precedency in the Army and Navy" should be
+consulted, as a captain in the navy after three years' service ranks
+with a colonel in the army, a lieutenant of the navy of eight years'
+standing ranks with a major in the army, and a lieutenant under that
+standing in the navy, ranks with a captain in the army, etc.</p>
+
+<p>Consulate officers also take precedence according to seniority of
+service in England and date of official arrival. The Foreign Office List
+of the current year should be consulted for date in each instance.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards the Precedence due to Widows</span> bearing titles who have married
+again: The widow of a peer married to a commoner retains her title by
+courtesy, and the precedency due to the title is accorded to her.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When the Widow of a Duke</span> marries a person of lower rank than that of her
+late husband, she still retains her precedency.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Daughter of a Peer</span> if married to a baronet or a commoner retains her
+precedency, but if married to a baron her precedency is merged in that
+of her husband.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Widow of a Baronet</span> married to a commoner retains her title by right
+and not by courtesy.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Widow of a Knight</span> married to a commoner retains her title by
+courtesy only, but the precedency due to the widow of a knight is
+accorded to her.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page47" name="page47"></a>[p.47]</span><span class="subchap">When the Daughter of a Duke</span> marries a peer she takes the
+precedency due to the rank of her husband; if she marries a commoner,
+precedency is accorded to her due to the daughter of a duke.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Age confers no Precedency</span> on either sex. Equals in rank from the highest
+to the lowest take precedence according to the creation of their title
+and not as regards the age of the person bearing the title. As, for
+instance, a youthful duke would take precedence of an aged duke, if the
+title of the youthful duke bore an earlier date than that of the aged
+duke. The same rule applies equally to baronets and knights.</p>
+
+<p>When two earls are present at a dinner-party, the date of their
+respective patents of nobility decides the order of precedency due to
+them.</p>
+
+<p>A host or hostess should always consult a "Peerage" or a "Baronetage" if
+in doubt as to the precedence due to expected guests bearing titles;
+wealth or social position are not taken into account in this matter, it
+being strictly a question of date.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Precedence due to Ladies of Equal Rank</span> takes effect in the same
+manner. Thus, a young wife of a baronet takes precedence over the
+elderly wife of a baronet if the creation of her husband's title bears
+an earlier date.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When the Claims to Precedency of Persons of Equal Rank</span> clash, the claims
+of a gentleman should be waived in favour of those of a lady, should the
+persons be of opposite sexes. Thus, if two couples of superior rank to
+the other guests were present at a dinner-party, the host should take
+down the lady of highest rank, and the hostess should be taken down by
+the gentleman of highest rank, in which case the lady second in rank
+should go in to dinner <i>before</i> <span class="pagenum"><a id="page48" name="page48"></a>[p.48]</span>her husband, although the
+gentleman taking her down to dinner were of lower rank than her husband.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Esquires, and the Wives of Esquires</span>, take precedence according to their
+social position. Members of Parliament have no precedence, though it is
+often accorded to them as a matter of courtesy, especially in the county
+which they represent; the wives of members of Parliament are likewise
+entitled to no precedence on the ground of their husbands being members
+of Parliament.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The High Sheriff of a County</span> takes precedence over all other gentlemen
+in the county, of whatever rank, save the lord-lieutenant, according to
+the Royal warrant issued by His late Majesty King Edward, giving
+precedence to lord-lieutenants of counties before high sheriffs.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The High Sheriff</span> out of his particular county has no precedence, neither
+has a lord-lieutenant; and the wives of either lords-lieutenants or high
+sheriffs take no precedence on account of their husbands' official
+dignity.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">An Assize Judge</span> takes precedence over the high sheriff as the assize
+judge represents the Sovereign of the Realm.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Clergymen, Barristers-at-Law</span>, officers in the army and navy take
+precedence over esquires on account of such rank; and in each profession
+precedence should be accorded them according to dignity, date of
+ordination, date of call, and date of commission in their several
+professions, assuming that the rank is equal.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">High Clerical and Legal Dignitaries</span> take special precedence; for
+instance, the Archbishop of Canterbury takes precedence of all dukes,
+and the Lord Chancellor takes precedence of the Archbishop of York, who
+also takes <span class="pagenum"><a id="page49" name="page49"></a>[p.49]</span>precedence of dukes; bishops take precedence of all
+barons, whatever their date of creation. The Lord Chief Justice, the
+Master of the Rolls, when not peers, and all judges of the High Court of
+Justice in their various divisions, take precedence after Privy
+Councillors and before baronets and all knights, save the Knights of the
+Garter.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Relative Rank between Officers of the Army and Navy</span> and doctors of
+divinity is somewhat difficult to determine as regards the precedence to
+be given them at a dinner-party. "Dod" places "esquires by office,
+which, of course, includes all officers of the army and navy," next
+<i>before</i> the younger sons of knights and before doctors in divinity, who
+follow next in order; while "Lodge" places "officers of the navy and
+army" <i>after</i> the younger sons of knights bachelor, clergymen, and
+barristers-at-law.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Precedency at Dinner-Parties.</span>&mdash;When royalty is present at a
+dinner-party, a prince of blood royal takes precedence of a princess,
+and leads the way with the hostess, the host following next with the
+princess. On the other hand, a princess of the blood royal takes
+precedence of a foreign prince&mdash;her husband&mdash;and leads the way with the
+host.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Host should take down the Lady of Highest Rank</span>, and lead the way
+with her to the dining-room. The guests should follow the host in
+couples according to the degree of precedence due to them, and the
+hostess should follow the last couple with the gentleman of highest rank
+present.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a Greater Number of Gentlemen</span> than ladies are present at a
+dinner-party, as is often the case, these gentlemen should follow the
+hostess to the dining-room and not precede her.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page50" name="page50"></a>[p.50]</span><span class="subchap">When a Widow or Maiden Lady is Hostess,</span> and there is no
+gentleman of the family present to act as host, the gentleman second in
+rank should take down the lady of highest rank, leading the way with her
+to the dining-room, the hostess following last, with the gentleman of
+highest rank.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">In the Case of either a Husband's Sister</span> or a wife's sister being
+required to act as hostess, precedence should be given to the wife's
+sister.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">An Eldest Son's Wife</span> should take precedence of her husband's sisters in
+his father's house.</p>
+
+<p>As regards the precedence due to the relatives of a host or hostess, it
+should give way in favour of that due to the guests not related to the
+host or hostess, although their relatives might be, perhaps, of higher
+rank than the guests themselves.</p>
+
+<p>Occasionally, the eldest son of the house acts as second host, taking
+down a lady second or third in rank; but the daughters of the house
+should always be taken down to dinner after the other ladies present,
+and in no case before them.</p>
+
+<p>No precedence is accorded to either a lady or a gentleman by virtue of a
+mother's rank.</p>
+
+<p>No precedence is accorded to brides in society, though occasionally in
+the country old-fashioned people consider it due to a bride to send her
+in to dinner with the host on the occasion of her first dining at a
+house within three months of her marriage.</p>
+
+
+<h4>Table of General Precedency</h4>
+
+<p class="marbot05 ftsize105">GENTLEMEN</p>
+
+<ul class="ftsize95">
+<li class="marbotm02">The King.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">The Prince of Wales.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">The Sovereign's younger sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">The Sovereign's grandsons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">The Sovereign's brothers.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">The Sovereign's uncles.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page51" name="page51"></a>[p.51]</span>The Sovereign's nephews.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Ambassadors.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Archbishop of Canterbury.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Lord High Chancellor.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Archbishop of York.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">The Prime Minister.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Lord Chancellor of Ireland.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Lord President of the Council.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Lord Privy Seal.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Dukes who may happen to hold either of these five offices&mdash;</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">1. Lord Great Chamberlain.</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">2. Earl Marshal.</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">3. Lord Steward.</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">4. Lord Chamberlain.</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">5. Master of the Horse.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Dukes in order of their patents of creation&mdash;</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">1. Dukes of England.</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">2. &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; Scotland.</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">3. Dukes of Great Britain.</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">4. &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; Ireland created before the Union.</li>
+  <li class="add2em marbotm02">5. Dukes created since the Union.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Eldest sons of Dukes of Blood Royal.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Marquesses who may hold either of the Offices of State named above.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Marquesses in same order as Dukes.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Dukes' eldest sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Earls holding either of the five Offices of State.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Earls in same order as Dukes.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Younger sons of Dukes of Blood Royal.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Marquesses' eldest sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Dukes' younger sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Viscounts who may hold either of the five Offices of State.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Viscounts in same order as Dukes.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Earls' eldest sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Marquesses' younger sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Bishop of London.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02"> &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Durham.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02"> &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Winchester.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Other English Bishops in order of their consecration.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Moderator of the Church of Scotland.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Barons holding either of the five Offices of State.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Barons who may be Secretaries of State or Irish Secretary.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Barons in same order as Dukes.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">The Speaker of the House of Commons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Treasurer of the Household.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Comptroller of the Household.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Vice-Chamberlain of the Household.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Secretaries of State below the rank of Barons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Viscounts' eldest sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Earls' younger sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Barons' eldest sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Commoners who are Knights of the Garter.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Privy Councillors of rank lower than the foregoing, according to date
+they were sworn in.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Chancellor of the Exchequer.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02"> &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; Duchy of Lancaster.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Lord Chief Justice of England.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Master of the Rolls.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Lords Justices of Appeal and President of Probate Court.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Judges of the High Court of Justice.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Viscounts' younger sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Barons' &nbsp;  &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; " &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;  "</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Sons of Life Peers.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Baronets according to dates of patents.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Knights Grand Cross of Bath.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Knights Grand Commanders, Star of India.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Knights Grand Cross of St. Michael and St. George.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Knights Grand Commanders of Indian Empire.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Knights Grand Cross of Royal Victorian Order.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Knights Commanders of above Orders in same sequence.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Knights Bachelors of above Orders in same sequence.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Commanders of the Royal Victorian Order.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Judges of County Courts in <span class="pagenum"><a id="page52" name="page52"></a>[p.52]</span>England and Ireland, and Judges of
+the City of London Court.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Masters in Lunacy.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Companions of Orders of Bath, Star of India, SS. Michael and George,
+and Indian Empire in same sequence.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Members of 4th class of Royal Victorian Order.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Companions of Distinguished Service Order.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Eldest sons of younger sons of Peers.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Baronets' eldest sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Knights' eldest sons, in order of their fathers.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Members of 5th class of Royal Victorian Order.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Younger sons of Peers' younger sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Baronets' younger sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Knights' younger sons, in order of their fathers.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Naval, Military, and other Esquires by Office.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Gentlemen entitled to bear Coat Armour.</li>
+</ul>
+
+<p class="marbot05 martop1 ftsize105">LADIES</p>
+
+<ul class="ftsize95">
+<li class="marbotm02">The Queen.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">The Queen Mother.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">The Sovereign's daughters.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of Sovereign's younger sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Sovereign's granddaughters.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of Sovereign's grandsons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Sovereign's sisters.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of Sovereign's brothers.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Sovereign's aunts.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of Sovereign's uncles.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Sovereign's nieces.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of Sovereign's nephews.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Duchesses (in same order as Dukes).</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of eldest sons of Dukes of Blood Royal.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Marchionesses.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of eldest sons of Dukes.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Daughters of Dukes.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Countesses.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of younger sons of Royal Dukes.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of eldest sons of Marquesses.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Daughters of Marquesses.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of younger sons of Dukes.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Viscountesses.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of eldest sons of Earls.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Daughters of Earls.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of younger sons of Marquesses.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Baronesses.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of eldest sons of Viscounts.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Daughters of Viscounts.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of younger sons of Earls.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of eldest sons of Barons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Daughters of Barons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Maids of Honour.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of younger sons of Viscounts.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of younger sons of Barons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Daughters and sons' wives of Life Peers.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of Baronets.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Daughters of Baronets.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of eldest sons of Knights.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Daughters of Knights.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of younger sons of Peers' younger sons.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of younger sons of Baronets.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of younger sons of Knights.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of Esquires.</li>
+<li class="marbotm02">Wives of Gentlemen.</li>
+</ul>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page53" name="page53"></a>[p.53]</span><a id="chap6" name="chap6">CHAPTER VI</a></h2>
+<h3>THE COLLOQUIAL APPLICATION OF TITLES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> colloquial application of titles differs materially from the
+application of titles when not used colloquially, and many persons are
+in doubt as to whether they should or should not make use colloquially
+of titles in full.</p>
+
+<p>His Majesty the King should be addressed as "Sir" by all those who come
+in social contact with him; and by all others as "Your Majesty."</p>
+
+<p>Her Majesty Queen Mary should be addressed as "Ma'm" by all those who
+come in social contact with her; and by all others as "Your Majesty."</p>
+
+<p>Her Majesty Queen Alexandra should be addressed as "Ma'm" by all those
+who come in social contact with her; and by all others as "Your
+Majesty."</p>
+
+<p>The Prince of Wales, the Duke of Connaught, and all princes of the blood
+royal, should be addressed by the upper classes as "Sir."</p>
+
+<p>The princesses of the blood royal, should be addressed as "Ma'm" by the
+upper classes. The wives of the princes of the blood royal should also
+be addressed as "Ma'm" by the upper classes.</p>
+
+<p>All crowned heads visiting England should be addressed as "Sir" by those
+socially known to them, and as "Your Majesty" by all others. The Royal
+ladies, their wives, should be addressed as "Ma'm" by those personally
+known to them, and as "Your Majesty" by all others.</p>
+
+<p>A foreign prince bearing the title of Serene Highness should be
+addressed as "Prince," and not as "Sir," by the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page54" name="page54"></a>[p.54]</span>aristocracy and
+gentry, and as "Your Serene Highness" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A foreign princess, also bearing the title of serene highness, should be
+styled "Princess" when addressed colloquially by the upper classes, but
+not as "Ma'am"; and as "Your Serene Highness" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>An English duke should be addressed as "Duke" by the aristocracy and
+gentry, and not as "Your Grace" by members of either of these classes.
+All other classes should address him colloquially as "Your Grace."</p>
+
+<p>An English duchess should be addressed as "Duchess" by all persons
+conversing with her belonging to the upper classes, and as "Your Grace"
+by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A marquess, colloquially, should be addressed as "Lord A."</p>
+
+<p>A marchioness should be addressed as "Lady A." by the upper classes. It
+would be a mistake to address an English marquess as "Marquess," or a
+marchioness as "Marchioness," colloquially speaking. All other classes
+should address them either as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship," "My Lady" or
+"Your Ladyship."</p>
+
+<p>An earl should be addressed as "Lord B." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A countess should be addressed as "Lady B." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A viscount should be addressed as "Lord C." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A viscountess should be addressed as "Lady C." by the upper classes, and
+as "My Lady" or "Your ladyship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A baron should be addressed as "Lord D." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page55" name="page55"></a>[p.55]</span>A baroness should be addressed as "Lady D." by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>In strictly official or business intercourse a marquess, an earl, a
+viscount, a baron, and a younger son of a duke or marquis, should be
+addressed as "My Lord."</p>
+
+<p>The eldest son of a duke should be addressed as "Lord A." by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The wife of the eldest son of a duke should be addressed as "Lady A." by
+the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other
+classes.</p>
+
+<p>The younger sons of a duke should be addressed as "Lord John E." or
+"Lord Charles E." by the upper classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your
+Lordship" by all other classes. Persons well acquainted with them would
+address them colloquially by their title and christian name, as "Lord
+John" or "Lord Charles." The same remark applies to their wives, who are
+often colloquially addressed as "Lady Alfred" or "Lady Edward."</p>
+
+<p>The wives of the younger sons of a duke should be addressed as "Lady
+John E." or "Lady Charles E." by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or
+"Your Ladyship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The daughters of a duke should be addressed as "Lady Mary A." or "Lady
+Elizabeth B." by the upper classes, and as "Lady Mary" and "Lady
+Elizabeth" by those intimate with them, and as "My Lady" or "Your
+Ladyship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The eldest son of a marquess should be addressed as "Lord A." by the
+upper classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The wife of the eldest son of a marquis should be addressed as "Lady A."
+by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other
+classes.</p>
+
+<p>The younger sons of a marquis should be addressed as <span class="pagenum"><a id="page56" name="page56"></a>[p.56]</span>"Lord
+Henry B." and "Lord Frederick B." by the upper classes, and as "My
+Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The wives of the younger sons of a marquis should be addressed as "Lady
+Henry B." and "Lady Frederick B." by the upper classes, and as "My Lady"
+or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The daughters of a marquis should be addressed as "Lady Florence B." and
+"Lady Sarah B." by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your
+Ladyship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The eldest son of an earl should be addressed as "Lord C." by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The wife of the eldest son of an earl should be addressed as "Lady C."
+by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other
+classes.</p>
+
+<p>The daughters of an earl should be addressed as "Lady Blanche" and "Lady
+Evelyn" by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all
+other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The younger sons of earls, and both eldest and younger sons of viscounts
+and barons, only bear the courtesy title of honourable. The daughters of
+viscounts and barons also bear the courtesy title of honourable. This
+title should never be used colloquially, "The Hon. Cecil Blank," "The
+Hon. Mrs. Cecil Blank," and "The Hon. Mary Blank," should be styled
+"Mr., Mrs., and Miss Mary Blank."</p>
+
+<p>Baronets should be addressed by their full title and surname, as Sir
+John Blank, by the upper classes, and by their titles and christian
+names only by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>Baronets' wives should be addressed as "Lady B." or "Lady C.," according
+to the surnames of their husbands: thus, "Sir John Blank's" wife should
+be addressed as "Lady Blank" by the upper classes, not as "Lady John
+Blank"&mdash;to do so would be to give her the rank of the wife of the
+younger son of a duke or marquis instead of that of <span class="pagenum"><a id="page57" name="page57"></a>[p.57]</span>a baronet's
+wife only&mdash;and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>The wives of knights should be addressed as "Lady B." or "Lady C.,"
+according to the surnames of their husbands: thus, "Sir John Blank's"
+wife should be addressed as "Lady Blank" by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">In addressing Foreigners of Rank colloquially</span>, the received rule
+is to address them by their individual titles and surnames.</p>
+
+<p>A prince or princess should be addressed by their full title: thus,
+"Prince Munich," or "Princess Munich," by the upper classes. Persons
+intimate with them usually address them as "Prince" or "Princess," as
+the case may be.</p>
+
+<p>In the case of a prince being a younger son, and not the reigning head
+of the house, his christian name is generally used after his title when
+addressing him: thus, "Prince Louis," in lieu of "Prince" only. The same
+remark applies to the unmarried daughters of princes. They also should
+be addressed by their christian name, in addition to their title of
+"Princess," by the aristocracy and gentry, and as "Your Serene" or "Your
+Imperial Highness," according to their birth and title, by all other
+classes.</p>
+
+<p>A French duke should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Rouen," by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Duc" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A French duchess should be addressed by her surname, with the addition
+of madame: thus, "Madame de Rouen" by the upper classes, and as "Madame
+la Duchesse" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A marquis should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Harfleur" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Marquis" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page58" name="page58"></a>[p.58]</span>A marquise should be addressed by her surname, with the addition
+of madame: thus, "Madame la Harfleur" by the upper classes, and as
+"Madame la Marquise" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A comte should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Montpellier" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Comte" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A comtesse should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame: thus, "Madame de Montpellier" by the upper classes, and as
+"Madame la Comtesse" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A vicomte should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Toulouse" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Vicomte" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A vicomtesse should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame; thus, "Madame de Toulouse" by the upper classes, and as "Madame
+la Vicomtesse" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A baron should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur d'Avignon" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Baron" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A baronne should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame: thus, "Madame d'Avignon" by the upper classes, and as "Madame la
+Baronne" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A young unmarried lady should be addressed as "Mademoiselle d'Avignon"
+by the upper classes, and as "Mademoiselle" by all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>In German titles the distinction of "Von" before the surname is seldom
+used colloquially, the title and surname being used without the prefix
+of "Von." Thus, "Count von Ausberg" should be addressed as "Count
+Ausberg" in conversation, and not as "Monsieur le Comte."</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page59" name="page59"></a>[p.59]</span>Foreign ladies of rank should be addressed by their title and
+surname, and not by their title only, and the prefix "Von" should be
+omitted; but in the case of a French or Italian title the "de" or "de
+la" before the surname should on no account be omitted.</p>
+
+<p>When Englishmen are extremely intimate with foreigners of rank they
+would, in conversation, probably address them by their surnames; but
+only thorough intimacy and friendship warrants this familiarity.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards addressing the Clergy</span>, an archbishop should be addressed
+colloquially as "Archbishop" by the upper classes, and as "Your Grace"
+by the clergy and all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A bishop should be addressed colloquially as "Bishop" by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lord" by the clergy and all other classes.</p>
+
+<p>A dean should be styled "Dean Blank" or "Dean," by the upper classes,
+and as "Mr. Dean" by the clergy.</p>
+
+<p>An archdeacon should be addressed as "Archdeacon Blank," and a canon as
+"Canon Blank."</p>
+
+<p>The wives of archbishops, bishops, and deans should be respectively
+addressed as "Mrs. A.," "Mrs. B.," or "Mrs. C." They take no title from
+the spiritual rank of their husbands.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Officers in the Army</span> should be respectively addressed as "General A.,"
+"Colonel B.," "Major C.," or "Captain D.," and not as "General,"
+"Colonel," or "Major," except by their very intimate friends.</p>
+
+<p>The wives of officers should be addressed as "Mrs. A.," "Mrs. B.," "Mrs.
+C.," or "Mrs. D." They should never be addressed as "Mrs. General A.,"
+"Mrs. Colonel B.," "Mrs. Major C.," or "Mrs. Captain D."</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page60" name="page60"></a>[p.60]</span>A lady should not address her husband colloquially by his
+surname only, as "Jones," "Brown," or by whatever his surname might be,
+or speak of him without the prefix of "Mr."</p>
+
+<p>The usual rule is for a wife to speak of her husband as "Mr. Brown," or
+"My husband," except to intimate friends, when the christian name only
+is frequently used, and to address him by his christian name only.</p>
+
+<p>A wife should not address her husband by the initial letter of his
+surname, as "Mr. B." or "Mr. P."; neither should a husband address his
+wife by the initial letter of his surname.</p>
+
+<p>When intimate friends address each other by the initial letter of their
+names it is by way of pleasantry only, and such cases, of course, do not
+come within the rules of etiquette.</p>
+
+<p>Peeresses frequently address their husbands, and speak of them, by the
+name attached to their title, in place of using their christian or
+family name. Thus, the "Earl of Blankshire" would be styled "Blankshire"
+by his wife, without the prefix of "Lord," and his usual signature would
+be "Blankshire," without the addition of any christian name.</p>
+
+<p>Baronets' wives should not address their husbands by their surnames, but
+by their christian names, and should speak of them as "Sir George" or
+"Sir John."</p>
+
+<p>The wives of knights also should not address their husbands by their
+surnames, but by their christian names, and should speak of them as "Sir
+George" or "Sir John."</p>
+
+<p>The Lord Mayor should be addressed as "Lord Mayor," colloquially, and
+the Lady Mayoress as "Lady Mayoress," unless the Lord Mayor during
+office is created a baronet or receives the honour of knighthood, when
+he should be addressed as "Sir John" or "Sir Henry," and his wife as
+"Lady A."</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page61" name="page61"></a>[p.61]</span>CHAPTER VII</h2>
+<h3>POINTS OF ETIQUETTE AS REGARDS ROYAL PERSONAGES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">General</span> society is now very frequently brought into contact with
+royalty&mdash;members of the Royal Family of England and members of various
+royal families of Europe.</p>
+
+<p>With His Majesty this association is of frequent occurrence as regards
+the general public, and persons possessing special interest are
+constantly brought into communication with him.</p>
+
+<p>Strict Court etiquette is greatly in abeyance, and laid aside by His
+Majesty when paying visits to personal friends, or when receiving visits
+from the same.</p>
+
+<p>The geniality of the English princes and princesses is everywhere
+acknowledged, and the restrictions of Court etiquette are frequently
+relaxed by their desire when visiting at the houses of the nobility and
+gentry.</p>
+
+<p>The etiquette that reigns in foreign Courts&mdash;Austria, Russia, Greece,
+etc.&mdash;is seldom waived, and is adhered to with much punctilio. So much
+so is this the case with certain foreign princes who visit our shores,
+that the observances they claim as due to their exalted position are
+often felt to be a restraint upon the hosts whom they honour with their
+company, in town or country, at dinner, ball, or country-house party.</p>
+
+<p>On the other hand, many royal personages who occasionally visit England
+are unbending and unceremonious towards society in general.</p>
+
+<p>When royal personages visit London for a few weeks, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page62" name="page62"></a>[p.62]</span>whether
+located at palace, embassy, or hotel, it is etiquette for any person who
+is personally acquainted with or connected in any way with their Court
+or cabinet, or who has been presented at their Court, to leave cards on
+them and write their names in their visiting books. Persons still higher
+in the social scale, give receptions in their honour, and invite them to
+stay at their princely mansions.</p>
+
+<p>When such visits are paid, the principal neighbours are usually invited
+to meet the royal guests at dinner, ball, or reception, and on the
+invitation card is written, "To meet H.R.H. the Crown Prince of &mdash;&mdash;,"
+or "Her Serene Highness the Grand Duchess of &mdash;&mdash;," etc.; but a hostess
+exercises her own discretion respecting the invitations she issues.</p>
+
+<p>If a ball is in contemplation the county at large is invited to the
+mansion, but if dinner invitations only are issued, then the circle is
+necessarily restricted to a favoured few.</p>
+
+<p>The neighbours who are not invited to a house where a royal guest is
+staying should avoid calling on the hostess until the departure of the
+royal visitors, even if calls are due.</p>
+
+<p>The principal people of a county who happen to be present at an
+entertainment, either dinner or dance, are usually presented to the
+royal guests by the host or hostess, permission to do so having been
+first solicited.</p>
+
+<p>When the person to be presented is a person of rank or distinction, it
+would only be necessary to say, "May I present Lord A., or General B.,
+to you, Sir?" but if the person to be presented has no particular claim
+to the honour beyond being popular in the county, the request should be
+prefaced with a few words of explanation respecting the person to be
+presented.</p>
+
+<p>When the name or fame of those presented has reached the ears of the
+royal guests, they usually shake hands on the presentation being made,
+and enter into conversation with them; otherwise they merely bow, and
+make one or two passing remarks.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page63" name="page63"></a>[p.63]</span>A house-party is generally composed of those with whom a royal
+guest is more or less acquainted. When the party includes any one who is
+a stranger to the royal guests, he or she should be presented on the
+first opportunity.</p>
+
+<p>The members of the Royal Family have each, more or less, their
+particular set, as have also the foreign princes who periodically visit
+this country, and therefore house-parties are usually made up of those
+moving in the set of the expected prince.</p>
+
+<p>For the proper mode of addressing royal personages, see <a href="#chap6">Chapter VI.</a></p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards royal invitations</span>, all invitations from the Sovereign are
+commands, and must be answered and obeyed as such, and the word
+"command" must be made use of in answering such invitations. If any
+reason exists for not obeying His Majesty's commands it should be
+stated.</p>
+
+<p>Invitations from members of the Royal Family are treated by courtesy as
+commands, but in replying to such invitations the word "command" should
+not be used. The answers to such invitations should be addressed to the
+Comptroller of the Household, by whom they are usually issued.</p>
+
+<p>Answers to royal invitations should be written in the third person, and
+reasons given for non-acceptance.</p>
+
+<p>A previous engagement cannot be pleaded as an excuse for refusing a
+royal invitation; only personal indisposition or serious illness, or
+death of near relatives, would be adequate reasons for not accepting a
+royal invitation.</p>
+
+<p>When a royal invitation is verbally given, the answer should be verbal
+also.</p>
+
+<p>At all entertainments at which royal guests are present they should be
+received by the host and hostess in the entrance-hall. In the case of
+serene highnesses they should be received by the host and conducted by
+him to the hostess; this rule equally applies to the reception of
+eastern princes.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page64" name="page64"></a>[p.64]</span>The etiquette to be observed on the departure of royal
+personages is identical with that observed on their arrival.</p>
+
+<p>With regard to inviting members of the Royal Family to assist at the
+opening of any public undertaking, the request should be made through
+the Comptroller of the Household of the prince who is to be invited, or
+through his secretary, and the same rule equally applies to both prince
+and princess.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Indian Princes.</span>&mdash;The exact status of Indian princes has never been
+actually laid down, but all who are "Highnesses" are given precedence at
+the English Court and in society after the Royal Family and foreign
+princes. In the procession at Court entertainments they go in front of
+ambassadors.</p>
+
+<p>No Indian prince is considered to be of blood royal, and they do not
+stand in the line at levées and Courts, but all have the private
+<i>Entrée</i>.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page65" name="page65"></a>[p.65]</span>CHAPTER VIII</h2>
+<h3>POINTS OF ETIQUETTE WHEN TRAVELLING ABROAD, AND PRESENTATIONS AT FOREIGN
+COURTS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> acquaintanceship of foreign residents is of considerable service to
+English people purposing to winter abroad, or to remain for any length
+of time in a continental city, as by its means they obtain an entrance
+into foreign society. An introduction to the English Ambassador or
+Minister at a foreign Court is of still greater service in this matter.</p>
+
+<p>People of recognised position in society have the privilege of leaving
+cards at the English Embassy at any foreign city in which they intend
+making a temporary stay.</p>
+
+<p>So thoroughly is the position of English travellers known to the English
+Ministry at a foreign Court, that should a person, who is not received
+in English society, leave cards at the English Embassy, they would be at
+once returned as an intimation that the acquaintance is declined.</p>
+
+<p>It is erroneous to suppose that by leaving cards upon foreigners of
+distinction, an acquaintanceship can be commenced, for unless
+introductions have been formally made, leaving cards is a useless
+proceeding.</p>
+
+<p>At far-away spots little frequented by the general run of travellers,
+and where there are but few, if any, resident English, travellers
+requiring advice or assistance from the English consul, can, without an
+introduction, call upon him, nationality being the ground upon which to
+do this, and if of equal social standing, they would be received with
+social <span class="pagenum"><a id="page66" name="page66"></a>[p.66]</span>consideration; if otherwise, all assistance would be
+given to them from an official point of view. Many people when
+travelling abroad make pleasant acquaintances even without the help of
+introductions, the occasion of a meeting being as it were a
+semi-introduction in itself.</p>
+
+<p>Such casual acquaintanceships are, however, attended with certain risks,
+especially to persons who have been absent from England some little
+time, or who when in England have entered comparatively but little in
+society, and who are thus apt to drift unawares into close friendships
+with people perhaps well bred and agreeable, although tabooed at home
+for some good and sufficient reason. <i>Contretemps</i> such as these are
+painful to kind-hearted people when subsequently compelled to avoid and
+to relinquish the acquaintance of those with whom they have become
+pleasantly intimate. An introduction to an English resident in either
+town or city obviates any unpleasantness of this nature, as one so
+situated is generally kept <i>au courant</i> with all that takes place in
+society at home.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When persons desire to enter into society abroad</span> they endeavour to
+obtain letters of introduction from friends and acquaintances to
+residents in the cities they purpose visiting.</p>
+
+<p>Unless English travellers have been duly presented at the Court of St.
+James's, they cannot obtain presentations at foreign Courts through the
+English Embassies.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady desires a presentation at a foreign Court, she should write
+to the English Ambassadress and request the honour of a presentation,
+and should state the date of her presentation and the name of the lady
+by whom she was presented. After her statement has been duly verified
+the request is granted. In a like manner when a gentleman desires a
+presentation at a foreign Court, he should write to the Ambassador and
+request the honour of a presentation, and should state the date of the
+Levée at which he was <span class="pagenum"><a id="page67" name="page67"></a>[p.67]</span>presented, and the name of the person by
+whom the presentation was made.</p>
+
+<p>Presentations at foreign Courts take place in the evening, and the
+persons to be presented, and those who attend, assemble previous to the
+entrance of the royal personages: the rule is for the grand <i>maîtresse</i>
+to present each lady in turn to her royal mistress, who makes the tour
+of the apartment for this purpose, and addresses some courteous
+observation to each.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page68" name="page68"></a>[p.68]</span>CHAPTER IX</h2>
+<h3>THE RECEIVED MODE OF PRONOUNCING CERTAIN SURNAMES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">There</span> are, perhaps, two reasons why various surnames are so frequently
+mispronounced, the one being unfamiliarity with the freak of fashion
+which governs the pronunciation of certain well-known names, the other
+ignorance, or want of education.</p>
+
+<p>When sensitive persons hear a name pronounced differently from the way
+in which they have themselves but just pronounced it, and in a tone and
+manner strongly suggestive of correction, it is wounding to their <i>amour
+propre</i>.</p>
+
+<p>As a rule, when persons are in doubt as to the correct pronunciation of
+any particular name, it would be best to avoid mentioning it, if
+possible, until their doubts are set at rest by some one better informed
+than themselves.</p>
+
+<p>Names that have a fashionable or peculiar pronunciation, or are
+pronounced otherwise than as they are spelt, are but few, and names
+which it is possible wrongly to accent are also not very numerous; but
+it is surprising how often these names occur in the course of
+conversation.</p>
+
+<p>The names of distinguished artists that are open to mispronunciation
+occur far oftener in conversation than do the general run of uncommon
+surnames.</p>
+
+<p>There are many celebrated hunts and hunting quarters of which the names
+are open to considerable mispronunciation.</p>
+
+<p>With regard to placing the accent on the wrong syllable in the
+pronunciation of names, it requires but little thought to avoid making
+this mistake, a popular error being <span class="pagenum"><a id="page69" name="page69"></a>[p.69]</span>that of placing the accent
+upon the last syllable of a name; whereas, in a name of two syllables,
+the accent should invariably be placed upon the first, and the second
+syllable should be as it were slightly abbreviated or slightly altered.</p>
+
+<p>In names of three syllables the error usually consists in placing the
+accent upon the last syllable, whereas the accent should be placed upon
+the second syllable. There are occasional exceptions to this rule, and
+the few names given in this chapter, both as regards their pronunciation
+and accentuation, will serve as a useful guide in the pronunciation of
+uncommon names.</p>
+
+<table border="0" cellpadding="2" summary="PRONUNCIATION OF UNCOMMON NAMES">
+<colgroup>
+    <col width="30%">
+    <col width="10%">
+    <col width="30%">
+    <col width="30%">
+</colgroup>
+
+<tr class="ftsize90 td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">SPELT.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">PRONOUNCED.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">REMARKS.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Abergavenny.</td>
+  <td rowspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Abergen'ny.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1"><i>Av</i> not sounded.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Arbuthnot.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Arbuth'not.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Arundel.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Arrandel.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Beaconsfield.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Beckonsfield.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Beauchamp.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bea'cham.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Beauclerk or<br>Beauclerc.</td>
+  <td valign="middle" style="white-space: nowrap; font-size: 2.5em; font-weight: 100;" class="tdtx-top">}</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bo'clair.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Belvoir.</td>
+  <td rowspan="15">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Be'ver.</td>
+  <td rowspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Berkely.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bark'ley.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bethune.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bee'ton.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bicester.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bis'ter.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Blount.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Blunt.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Blyth.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bly.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1"><i>Th</i> not sounded.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bourke.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Burk.</td>
+  <td rowspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bourne.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Burn.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bowles.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Boles.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Breadalbane.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Breaddal'bane.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on second syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Brougham.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Broum.</td>
+<td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Buchan.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Buck'an.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Burdett.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Burdett'.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on last syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Burnett.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Burnett'.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on last syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Bury.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Berry.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Calderon.</td>
+  <td rowspan="11">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Cal'dron not<br>Cauldron.</td>
+  <td rowspan="4">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Charteris.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Charters.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Cholmeley.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Chum'ley.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Cholmondeley.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">&nbsp; "</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Cirencester.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Cis'ester.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Clanricarde.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Clanrecarde.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on second syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page70" name="page70"></a>[p.70]</span>Cockburn.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">C&#333;burn.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1"><i>Ck</i> not sounded.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Colquhoun.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Kohoon'.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on last syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Conynham.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Cunyingham.</td>
+  <td rowspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Coutts.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Koots.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Cowper.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Cooper.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Dalziel.</td>
+  <td rowspan="7">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Dee'al.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Derby.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Darby.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Des Vaux.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Deveu.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>x</i> not sounded.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Devereux.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Devereu.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>x</i> not sounded.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Dillwyn.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Dil'lun.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>wy</i> takes the sound of <i>u</i>; the accent on
+  first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Duchesne.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Dukarn.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Du Plat.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Du Plar.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Elgin.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>g</i> hard as in give.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Eyre.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Air.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Fildes.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Filedes.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Not Filldes.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Fortescue.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Fort'iskew.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Geoffrey.</td>
+  <td rowspan="9">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Jefrey.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Geoghegan.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Gaygan.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Gifford.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Jifford.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>g</i> soft as in George.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Gillett.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1"><i>G</i> hard as in Gilbert.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Gillott.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1"><i>G</i> hard.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Glamis.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Glarms.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Gorges.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Gor'jes.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">First <i>g</i> hard and second <i>g</i> soft.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Gough.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Goff.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Gower.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Gor.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">But Gower as regards the street of that name with the general public.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Harcourt.</td>
+  <td rowspan="5">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Har'kut.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Heathcote.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Heth'kut.</td>
+  <td rowspan="4">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Hertford.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Har'ford.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Home.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Hume.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Hughes.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Hews.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Jervis.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Jarvis.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Johnstone.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>t</i> not sounded.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Kennaird.</td>
+  <td rowspan="4">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Kennaird'.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on last syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Kennard.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Kennard'.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on last syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Ker.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Kar.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Knollys.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Knowls.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Layard.</td>
+  <td rowspan="5">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Laird.</td>
+  <td rowspan="5">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Leconfield.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Lek'onfield.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page71" name="page71"></a>[p.71]</span>Lefevre.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Lefavre.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Leigh.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Lee.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Lyvedon.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Livden.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Macnamara.</td>
+  <td rowspan="13">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Macnemar'ar.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on third syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Mainwaring.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Man'nering.</td>
+  <td rowspan="4">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Marjoribanks.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Marshbanks.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">McIntosh.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Makintosh.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">McLeod.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">McCloud.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Menzies.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Myng'es.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Meux.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Mews.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>x</i> sounded as <i>s</i>.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Millais.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Mil'lay.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Milnes.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Mills.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Molyneux.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>x</i> sounded with slight accent on last syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Monck.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Munk.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Monckton.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Munk'ton.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Monson.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Munson.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Montgomerie or<br>Montgomery.</td>
+  <td valign="middle" style="white-space: nowrap; font-size: 2.5em; font-weight: 100;" class="tdtx-top">}</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Mungum'ery.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on second syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Mowbray.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Mobrey.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Nigel.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Ni'jel.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Ouless.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Ooless.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Parnell.</td>
+  <td rowspan="7">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Parnell'.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on last syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Pepys.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Pep'is.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Pierrepont.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Pierpont.</td>
+  <td rowspan="4">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Ponsonby.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Punsonby.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Pontefract.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Pomfret.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Pugh.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Pew.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Pytchley.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">P&#563;tch'ley.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Not Pitchley.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Ruthven.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Riv'en.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Sandys.</td>
+  <td rowspan="6">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Sands.</td>
+  <td rowspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">St. Clair.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Sinclair.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">St. Maur.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">See'mor, or<br>S'nt Maur.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">St. John.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Sinjin.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">As regards christian and surname, but as St. John when applied to
+  church or locality.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Seymour.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Sey'mer.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Strachan.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Strawn.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Tadema.</td>
+  <td rowspan="6">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Tad'ymar.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on first syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Tollemache.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Tollmash.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page72" name="page72"></a>[p.72]</span>Trafalgar.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Trafalgar'.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on last syllable; as regards the peer of that name,
+  not otherwise.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Tredegar.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Trede'gar.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on second syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Tremayne.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Tremayne'.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">Accent on last syllable.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Tyrwhitt.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Tirritt.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Vaughan.</td>
+  <td rowspan="4">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Vorn.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Vaux.</td>
+  <td>&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>x</i> sounded.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Villbois.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Vealbwor.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Villiers.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Vil'lers.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr>
+  <td colspan="4" class="ftsizexs">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Waldegrave.</td>
+  <td rowspan="3">&nbsp;</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Wal'grave.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left1">The <i>de</i> not sounded.</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Wemyss.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Weems.</td>
+  <td rowspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
+</tr>
+
+<tr class="td-left">
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Willoughby D'Eresby.</td>
+  <td class="tdp-left2">Willowby D'Ersby.</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page73" name="page73"></a>[p.73]</span>CHAPTER X</h2>
+<h3>PRESENTATIONS AT COURTS AND ATTENDING COURTS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Courts</span> are now held in lieu of Drawing-rooms by Their Majesties the King
+and Queen at Buckingham Palace, and at which Presentations to Their
+Majesties are made.</p>
+
+<p>These Courts are held in the evenings at ten o'clock, but the hour at
+which the company should commence to arrive is intimated by the Lord
+Chamberlain in the notice issued of the Courts to be held.</p>
+
+<p>Two Courts are usually, but not invariably, held before Easter, and two
+more after Easter.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies who have been presented at Drawing-rooms and Courts, held during
+the last two reigns, do not require to be again presented to Their
+Majesties the King and Queen; thus, ladies who have already been
+presented at these Drawing-rooms, and who are desirous of being invited
+to one or other of these Courts, and who are also desirous of making
+presentations, should send in their names and the names of those to be
+presented by them to the Lord Chamberlain, St. James's Palace, S.W., on
+the 1st of January in each year, but not before that date.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies are also privileged to mention at the same time when it will be
+most convenient to them to pay their respects to Their Majesties. If it
+should not be convenient for a lady to attend or be presented at the
+particular Court to which she is invited, it will be open to her to make
+her excuses to the Lord Chamberlain in writing, when her <span class="pagenum"><a id="page74" name="page74"></a>[p.74]</span>name
+can, if desired, and if possible, be transferred to another list.</p>
+
+<p>A lady who makes a presentation to Their Majesties, must be personally
+acquainted with and responsible for the lady she presents. She must
+herself attend the Court, and cannot present more than one lady in
+addition to her daughter or daughter-in-law. The numbers received at
+each Court being necessarily limited, ladies can only receive occasional
+invitations. Therefore, those who cannot be included in the year's list
+of invitations will receive an intimation to this effect from the Lord
+Chamberlain in answer to their applications to attend.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Persons entitled to be presented at Their Majesties' Courts</span> are the
+wives and daughters of the members of the aristocracy, the wives and
+daughters of those holding high official appointments in the Government,
+the wives and daughters of Members of Parliament, the county gentry and
+town gentry, the wives and daughters of the members of the legal,
+military, naval, clerical, medical, and other professions, the wives and
+daughters of merchants, bankers, and members of the Stock Exchange, and
+persons engaged in commerce on a large scale.</p>
+
+<p>Although the word "gentry" is thus elastic, and although persons coming
+within the category might be fairly entitled to the privilege of
+attending Courts, yet it is well understood that birth, wealth,
+associations, and position give a <i>raison d'être</i> for such privilege;
+as, for instance, the wife and daughters of an officer in the navy or a
+line regiment, whose means are slender, and whose position is obscure,
+would not be justified for these reasons in attending a Court, although
+the officer himself might attend a levée if desirous of doing so; and
+this remark equally applies to the wives and daughters of clergymen,
+barristers, and others similarly situated.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page75" name="page75"></a>[p.75]</span><span class="subchap">Presentations to Their Majesties</span> are made officially by the
+various foreign ambassadresses, by the wives of the members of the
+Cabinet, and by the wives of other official personages in various
+departments of the State, either civil, military, naval, or clerical.</p>
+
+<p>Presentations at each of Their Majesties' Courts are now limited by
+royal command.</p>
+
+<p>Presentations to Their Majesties should be made either by a relative or
+a friend of the lady presented who has herself been previously
+presented.</p>
+
+<p>A lady has the privilege of presenting one lady only at a Court in
+addition to her daughter or daughter-in-law.</p>
+
+<p>This restriction does not apply to ladies who, from official position or
+other circumstances, are specially privileged to make presentations to
+Their Majesties.</p>
+
+<p>When a presentation is not made officially or by a near relative it is
+considered a favour on the part of the person making the presentation
+towards the person presented.</p>
+
+<p>The responsibility of a presentation rests upon the person who makes it,
+both as to the social and moral fitness of the person presented;
+therefore, to solicit the favour of a presentation from a friend is to
+incur a considerable obligation, and it is a favour ladies have no
+hesitation in refusing unless good reasons exist for granting it.</p>
+
+<p>When presentations are made through official channels the responsibility
+rests upon the "office" rather than upon the person making the
+presentation; hence presentations so made have little personal
+significance to the person making them.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Lady having been presented on her Marriage</span> has the privilege of
+attending, by invitation, any subsequent Court, but ladies who have no
+official position will only be allowed to attend a Court by summons
+every third year. On the accession of her husband to any title, she
+would again have to be presented, and should she marry <span class="pagenum"><a id="page76" name="page76"></a>[p.76]</span>a second
+time another presentation would be necessary to entitle her to attend
+one of Their Majesties' Courts.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">It is the Privilege of the Married Lady to make Presentations</span>, but
+should any person be presented whose antecedents or present position
+renders her socially unqualified to be presented, the Lord Chamberlain,
+on becoming aware of the fact, would at once cancel the presentation,
+and officially announce it in the <i>Gazette</i>, and the person making such
+presentation would be expected to tender an apology for so doing.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">An Unmarried Lady does not possess the Privilege</span> of making a
+presentation, however high her rank may be. She is not permitted to
+attend any subsequent Courts after first presentation until three years
+have elapsed; save under exceptional circumstances.</p>
+
+<p>Four Courts are held during each year at Buckingham Palace, two before
+and two after Easter, but due intimation is given previous to each Court
+being held by the Lord Chamberlain through the medium of the official
+<i>Gazette</i>, from whence it is copied into the newspapers.</p>
+
+<p>The wives of members of the Cabinet and of the ambassadors or ministers
+at the Court of St. James's usually attend at each Court, and have the
+privilege of doing so by reason of the official presentations made by
+them at each Court.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">It is compulsory for a Lady</span> making a presentation to be herself present
+at the Court at which the presentation is to be made, though it is not
+necessary for her to accompany the person whom she presents, but simply
+to attend the same Court.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a Lady intends making a Presentation</span> she should, on or after the
+1st of January write to the Lord <span class="pagenum"><a id="page77" name="page77"></a>[p.77]</span>Chamberlain and inform him of
+a wish to attend a Court, and forward the name of the lady to be
+presented by her.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Ladies are not expected</span> to attend Court more than once in every three
+years, unless under exceptional circumstances.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Lady attending a Court</span> may present one lady in addition to her
+daughter or daughter-in-law.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Lady presented for the First Time</span> can only present her daughter or
+daughter-in-law at the Court at which she is presented.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">No Applications can be received</span> from ladies who wish to be presented.
+Their names must be forwarded by the ladies who wish to make the
+presentations.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Summonses are issued</span> about three weeks before the date of each Court.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies may be accompanied to Court by their husbands if the latter have
+been presented, but gentlemen do not pass before the King and Queen.
+Ladies are requested to forward the names of their husbands at the same
+time as their own, in order that they may be submitted together, as once
+the summons has been issued the amending of a summons card in order to
+include a lady's husband can only be permitted under the most
+exceptional circumstances.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Those who have the Privilege of the Entrée</span> enter at the gate of the
+Palace situated outside Buckingham Gate. Those who possess this
+privilege are the diplomatic circle, the Cabinet ministers and their
+wives, and the members of the Household. The rooms, two in number, next
+to the Presence Chamber, are appropriated to them. All who have the
+privilege of the <i>entrée</i> are received by Their Majesties before the
+general circle, and according to their individual precedency, and they
+have also the privilege of making the first presentations.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page78" name="page78"></a>[p.78]</span><span class="subchap">When a Lady arrives at the Palace</span> she should leave her wraps in
+the cloak-room with one of the maids in attendance. After crossing the
+Great Hall, she then makes her way up the Grand Staircase to the
+Corridor, where she shows her invitation-card to the page-in-waiting,
+and then passes on to one of the saloons.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady arrives early she gains admission to the saloon next to
+those reserved for the <i>entrée</i>. When she arrives late she has to take
+her place in a further room of the suite according to the number of
+persons present.</p>
+
+<p>The gentlemen-at-arms stationed at the door of each room close the gilt
+barriers when they consider the saloons are full. Chairs and benches are
+placed in the corridor and in these saloons for the accommodation of
+ladies thus waiting their turn to enter the Throne-room or Presence
+Chamber.</p>
+
+<p>As the ladies quit each room for the Presence Chamber, others take their
+places, and the barriers are again closed, and this is continued until
+every one has been received.</p>
+
+<p>A lady has to pass through the two <i>entrée</i> saloons before reaching the
+Picture Gallery.</p>
+
+<p>At the door of the Picture Gallery a lady's train, which she has
+hitherto carried on her arm, is let down by two officials in attendance,
+and spread out by them with their wands; she should cross the gallery
+with her train down to the Presence Chamber, at the door of which she
+should give the card of invitation she has brought with her to the
+official stationed there to receive it.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Lady on being presented</span>, curtsys to the King and curtsys to the Queen.
+The King bows in return, as does also the Queen. A lady presented does
+not kiss the Queen's hand, as she formerly did. The King does not shake
+hands with any present, however high their rank may be, neither does the
+Queen shake hands with any present.</p>
+
+<p>A lady on being presented does not now curtsy to any <span class="pagenum"><a id="page79" name="page79"></a>[p.79]</span>member of
+the Royal Family when she has passed Their Majesties, and leaves the
+Presence Chamber, stepping backwards, facing the royal party, until
+making her exit from the apartment, when an official places her train on
+her arm at the threshold of the doorway.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a Lady wishes to attend a Court</span>, after having been duly presented,
+it is necessary to inform the Lord Chamberlain of her wish to attend.
+Summonses are issued about three weeks before the date of each Court.</p>
+
+<p>Having received a summons to attend a Court she should take the summons
+card with her, which she should show to the page-in-waiting in the
+corridor, and eventually hand it to the official stationed at the door
+of the Presence Chamber, by whom it is passed on to the Lord
+Chamberlain, who announces the name to Their Majesties.</p>
+
+<p>A lady attending a Court curtsys to the King; she also curtsys to the
+Queen, but does not curtsy to any other member of the Royal Family
+present.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">In the General Circle there is no Precedency</span> as to the order in which
+ladies attending a Court enter the Presence Chamber. The earliest
+arrivals are the first to appear before Their Majesties, without
+reference to rank or position; and the same rule applies to ladies who
+are presented, or to ladies who make presentations.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Married Lady presented at a Court</span> can, at the same Court, present her
+daughter or daughter-in-law; but in this case the one presented by her
+should enter the Presence Chamber after her, and not before her.</p>
+
+<p>Although, according to present regulations, the unmarried daughters of
+members of the nobility and gentry who have already been presented are
+only expected to attend a Court once in every three years, it will not
+prevent their being <span class="pagenum"><a id="page80" name="page80"></a>[p.80]</span>invited to Court functions, to the State
+balls, concerts, and garden parties.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Ladies who have been presented at a Court</span> have the privilege of writing
+their names in Their Majesties' visiting book at Buckingham Palace once
+during the season. The hours of calling for this purpose are generally
+from three to five o'clock in the afternoon.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">It is Imperative for Ladies to wear Full Court Dress</span> when attending or
+being presented at a Court, viz. low bodice, short sleeves, and train to
+dress not less than three yards in length from the shoulders.</p>
+
+<p>Whether the train is cut round or square is a matter of inclination or
+fashion. The width at the end should be 54 inches.</p>
+
+<p>It is also imperative that a presentation-dress should be white, if the
+person presented be an unmarried lady; and it is also the fashion for
+married ladies to wear white on their presentation, unless their age
+renders their doing so unsuitable.</p>
+
+<p>The white dresses worn by either <i>débutantes</i> or married ladies may be
+trimmed with either coloured or white flowers, according to individual
+taste.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">High Court Dress.</span>&mdash;The Queen has been pleased to permit that a high
+Court dress of silk, satin, or velvet, may be worn at Their Majesties'
+Courts, and on other State occasions, by ladies, to whom, from illness,
+infirmity, or advancing age, the present low Court dress is
+inappropriate, viz.: Bodices in front, cut square, or heart-shaped,
+which may be filled in with white only, either transparent or lined; at
+the back, high, or cut down three-quarters height. Sleeves to elbow,
+either thick or transparent.</p>
+
+<p>Trains, gloves, and feathers as usual.</p>
+
+<p>It is necessary for ladies who wish to appear in "High <span class="pagenum"><a id="page81" name="page81"></a>[p.81]</span>Court
+Dress" to obtain Royal permission, through the Lord Chamberlain.</p>
+
+<p>This regulation does not apply to ladies who have already received
+permission to wear high dress.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">White gloves only should be worn</span>, excepting in case of mourning, when
+black or grey gloves are admissible.</p>
+
+<p>As a lady on presentation does not now kiss the Queen's hand as formerly
+she did, she is not required to remove the right-hand glove before
+entering the Presence Chamber. This order, therefore, is no longer in
+force, and a lady wearing elbow gloves and bracelets will find it a
+great convenience not to be obliged to take off her glove.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">It is compulsory for both Married and Unmarried Ladies to Wear
+Plumes.</span>&mdash;The married lady's Court plume consists of three white
+feathers.</p>
+
+<p>An unmarried lady's of two white feathers.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The three white feathers</span> should be mounted as a Prince of Wales' plume,
+and worn towards the left-hand side of the head.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Coloured feathers</span> may not be worn.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">In deep mourning</span> white feathers must be worn, black feathers are
+inadmissible.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">White veils or lace lappets</span> must be worn with the feathers. The veils
+should not be longer than 45 inches.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Bouquets are not included</span> in the dress regulations issued by the Lord
+Chamberlain, although they are invariably carried by both married and
+unmarried ladies. It is thus optional to carry a bouquet or not, and
+some elderly ladies carry much smaller bouquets than do younger ladies.</p>
+
+<p>A fan and a lace pocket-handkerchief are also carried by a lady on
+presentation or on attending a Court, but these two items are also
+altogether optional.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page82" name="page82"></a>[p.82]</span>CHAPTER XI</h2>
+<h3>PRESENTATIONS AT LEVÉES AND ATTENDING LEVÉES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Levées are held by the King</span> in person. Those who have been presented at
+levées held by His late Majesty, King Edward, do not require to be again
+presented to His Majesty King George.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Four or more Levées are usually held every year</span> by the King at St.
+James's Palace.</p>
+
+<p>Gentlemen are officially presented by the heads of any department or
+profession to which they individually belong, whether civil or military,
+naval or clerical; it is more usual for a gentleman to be presented by
+the head of his department, or by the colonel of his regiment, than by
+his nearest relative.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Presentations are also made by Relatives</span> and friends of those presented;
+but these are greatly in the minority at all levées.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Gentlemen must be again presented</span> at every step in their career, whether
+civil, military, naval, or clerical&mdash;on civil appointments, on gaining
+steps of naval, military, legal, or clerical rank, and on accession to
+title, whether inherited or conferred.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Those entitled to be presented at His Majesty's Levées</span> are the members
+of the aristocracy and gentry, the members of the diplomatic corps, the
+Cabinet, and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page83" name="page83"></a>[p.83]</span>all leading Government officials, Members of
+Parliament, leading members of the legal profession, the naval and
+military professions, the leading members of the clerical profession,
+the leading members of the medical and artistic professions, the leading
+bankers, merchants, and members of the Stock Exchange, and persons
+engaged in commerce on a large scale. An exception to the rule as
+regards retail trade is made in favour of any person receiving
+Knighthood, or when holding the office of Mayor, or being made a Justice
+of the Peace, or on receiving a Commission in the Territorial forces.</p>
+
+<p>The dates on which levées are to be held are duly announced in the
+<i>Gazette</i>, and in the daily newspapers.</p>
+
+<p>At all future levées cards of admission will be required, as the numbers
+at each of these ceremonies must be limited.</p>
+
+<p>The Lord Chamberlain has issued the following revised list of rules,
+which are to be observed at attendances and presentations in future&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>All officers, whether on the active or retired lists, of the Royal Navy
+and the Royal Marines, of whatever rank, should communicate with and
+obtain their cards from the private secretary to the First Lord of the
+Admiralty. All civil officers of the Admiralty should follow the same
+rule.</p>
+
+<p>All officers, whether on the active or retired lists, of the Army,
+Regulars or Territorials, of whatever rank, except those on the Indian
+and Colonial Establishments, should communicate with and obtain their
+cards from the Adjutant-General at the War Office, stating clearly at
+which levée they desire to be present, and whether they wish to attend
+or to be presented; if the latter, stating by whom and on what occasion.
+Deputy-lieutenants of counties should also communicate and obtain their
+cards from the War Office.</p>
+
+<p>Officers of the Household Cavalry and Foot Guards on the active list
+should make application to the Lord Chamberlain at St. James's Palace
+for cards of admission and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page84" name="page84"></a>[p.84]</span>presentation. All retired Officers
+of the Household Cavalry and Brigade of Guards should apply to the War
+Office.</p>
+
+<p>All officers of the Indian Civil Service and of the Indian Army, of
+whatever rank, whether on the active or retired lists, should
+communicate with, and obtain their cards from the private secretary to
+the Secretary of State at the India Office, Whitehall.</p>
+
+<p>All officers of the Colonial service and Colonial forces, of whatever
+rank, whether on the active or retired lists, should communicate with
+and obtain their cards from the Colonial Office, Whitehall.</p>
+
+<p>Similarly, all gentlemen connected with the Foreign Office, the Home
+Office, officials connected with the Houses of Parliament, or any
+Government department, should communicate with and obtain their cards
+for attendance or presentation at levées from the department under which
+they serve.</p>
+
+<p>Judges, law officers, King's Counsel, and all legal officials holding
+appointments under the Crown are requested to make their applications
+through the secretary to the Lord Chancellor.</p>
+
+<p>Peers, bishops, Lords-Lieutenants of Counties, Members of Parliament,
+clergy of all denominations, and all gentlemen, other than the
+above-mentioned, should communicate with the Lord Chamberlain at St
+James's Palace, when they will each be furnished with a card of
+admission for use at the levée.</p>
+
+<p>The names both for attendance and presentation must be received at the
+various offices above indicated not later than eight days prior to the
+date of each levée, but in the case of officers, who make application to
+the War Office, fourteen days before the date of each levée.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a Gentleman makes a Presentation</span> it is compulsory for him to attend
+the same levée as the person whom he presents, and the card of
+presentation is sent to him to be forwarded to the person to be
+presented.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page85" name="page85"></a>[p.85]</span><span class="subchap">A Gentleman on being presented</span> should bow to the King, and His
+Majesty will bow to him in return. Gentlemen attending a levée should
+also bow to His Majesty.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Gentlemen who have been presented</span> at a levée have the privilege of
+writing their names in His Majesty's visiting book at Buckingham Palace
+once during the season. The hours of calling for this purpose are
+generally from three to five o'clock in the afternoon.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Dress to be worn at Courts, State Functions and Levées.</span>&mdash;Full dress
+uniform is invariably worn by all gentlemen entitled to wear it. All
+officers of Scottish kilted corps should wear the kilt irrespective of
+their being mounted officers or not. Gentlemen who do not wear uniform
+may wear either velvet Court dress, new style; velvet Court dress, old
+style; cloth Court dress.</p>
+
+<p>The new style velvet Court dress is of black silk velvet. The body of
+the coat lined with white silk and the skirt with black silk. Steel
+buttons. Waistcoat of white satin or black silk velvet. Breeches of
+black silk velvet, black silk hose, patent leather shoes, steel buckled;
+white bow necktie, white gloves, sword, black beaver or silk cocked hat.
+The velvet Court dress, old style, is very similar to the foregoing,
+with the addition of a black silk wig-bag at the back of the neck, and
+lace frills and ruffles. The cloth Court dress consists of a coat of
+dark mulberry, claret, or green cloth with black silk linings, gold
+embroidery on collar, cuffs, and pocket flaps, gilt buttons with
+Imperial Crown; waistcoat of white corded silk or white Marcella;
+breeches of cloth, colour of coat; black silk hose, patent leather
+shoes, sword, white bow necktie, white gloves, black beaver or silk
+cocked hat.</p>
+
+<p>Levée dress is identical with the foregoing except that trousers&mdash;with a
+row of narrow gold lace down the side <span class="pagenum"><a id="page86" name="page86"></a>[p.86]</span>seams&mdash;are worn, and not
+breeches. Military patent leather boots.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Archbishops and Bishops</span> at Levées and Courts wear Convocation robes,
+viz. scarlet cloth chimere, without hood; purple cassock and sash, lawn
+rochet with sleeves, white cambric bands, black silk scarf, black
+breeches, silver knee buckles, black silk stockings, shoes with silver
+buckles; purple or black velvet square soft cap to be carried. At
+Evening State Functions and Full Dress Dinners they wear a purple cloth
+Court coat over a short cassock or apron, sash of purple silk, black
+breeches, black silk stockings, shoes with silver buckles; black corded
+silk three-cornered hat to be carried.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Deans and Archdeacons</span> at Evening State Functions wear the same dress as
+bishops except that the coat and short cassock are black. Doctors of
+Divinity at Levées and Courts wear the scarlet cloth robe of their
+University, without hood.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Clergy if not Doctors of Divinity</span> at Levées and Courts wear full
+canonicals, that is, a black silk Geneva gown, double-breasted; black
+silk long cassock and sash, scarf and white lawn bands, black breeches,
+silver knee buckles, black silk stockings, shoes with silver buckles,
+black corded silk three-cornered hat. At Full Dress Dinners and Evening
+State Parties when canonicals are not worn, they wear a black cloth
+Court coat, cassock, waistcoat of black corded silk, black breeches,
+black silk stockings, shoes, silver buckles; black corded silk
+three-cornered hat to be carried. White gloves are worn at all Court
+functions. The academical habit should not be worn at Court except when
+addresses are presented from the Universities.</p>
+
+<p>When the Court is in mourning, gentlemen attending a levée are expected
+to wear a band of black crape on the left arm above the elbow.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page87" name="page87"></a>[p.87]</span>CHAPTER XII</h2>
+<h3>BALLS AND STATE BALLS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Balls</span> are given in town and country by society at large, and these
+invitation balls include Hunt Balls, Military and Naval Balls, Yeomanry
+and Territorial Balls, Bachelors' Balls, etc.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Public Balls</span> are those balls for which tickets of admission can be
+purchased, although for many of these balls it is necessary to obtain
+vouchers from the committees or patronesses, when held in town or at
+watering-places.</p>
+
+<p>Public balls include County Balls, Charity Balls, and Subscription
+Balls, etc.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">In Town, Ball-giving</span> is in a way a science, and an amusement upon which
+large sums of money are frequently expended.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Crowded Ball</span> is not always pronounced a good ball by the guests, often
+the contrary, but then, again, what is termed a thin ball is open to the
+accusation of not going off well, and falling rather flat; of not being
+kept up with spirit, and of being considered a stupid ball, and so on.</p>
+
+<p>To hit upon a happy medium with regard to the number of guests is an
+achievement in ball-giving which is only arrived at by a careful study
+of the map of the county, and a judicious selection of night. This
+selection is of paramount importance to the success of a ball, as when a
+smarter ball is given at a smarter house on the particular <span class="pagenum"><a id="page88" name="page88"></a>[p.88]</span>
+evening chosen by the giver of a less brilliant ball, the grander ball
+extinguishes the lesser ball, through the most fashionable people merely
+looking in at the one, and remaining the rest of the evening at the
+other. This putting out as it were of the lesser light, occurs very
+frequently during the London season to ball-givers moving in the same
+sets. The guests who have been expected to add lustre to the lesser
+balls appear but for a few minutes, and usually arrive rather early,
+uncomplimentarily early, at perhaps a little before eleven, and remain
+hardly half an hour in the rooms, making their way to another ball of
+the same calibre, and remaining there perhaps another twenty minutes,
+before arriving at the goal, viz. <i>the</i> ball of the evening. Both ladies
+and gentlemen follow this practice, thus, at a little after twelve, an
+average ball-giver finds her rooms deserted by all but those who have
+nowhere else to go. Although the flitting of the guests thus early is a
+disappointment to the hostess, and although it does not prevent the
+fleeting ball-givers from making suitable returns by placing the family
+on their ball lists, it yet greatly mars the enjoyment of the ball, and
+prevents its being looked back upon with anything approaching to
+pleasure or satisfaction, the departure of the most eligible partners
+being not the least of the vexations of the night.</p>
+
+<p>These <i>contretemps</i> are sometimes unavoidable; but, when practicable, it
+is always best to postpone a ball rather than to allow it to clash with
+a ball of greater pretensions.</p>
+
+<p>An impromptu dance is often a great success, while an impromptu ball is
+almost as certain to prove a great failure.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Difference between a Dance and a Ball</span> consists in the number of the
+invitations issued, in the strength of the band, and the extent of the
+supper arrangements.</p>
+
+<p>At a dance the number of the guests varies from eighty to two hundred;
+at a ball they vary from two hundred to five hundred.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page89" name="page89"></a>[p.89]</span>At a dance a piano band is frequently engaged, while at a ball a
+full band is requisite. At a ball the floral decorations are a great
+feature, at a small dance they are often dispensed with. Ladies new to
+society as it were, or whose circle of acquaintance is of a limited
+character, and who do not number in that circle many ball-givers, and
+who yet desire to form a ball acquaintance, frequently place their ball
+in the hands of some intimate friend of higher standing than themselves,
+giving her <i>carte blanche</i> to form a ball list. When this plan is
+followed, invitations are still sent out by the ball-giver; in every
+case the name and compliments of the lady who forms the list are sent
+with the card.</p>
+
+<p>This plan, although of advantage to the hostess, is often productive of
+much unpleasantness to her unfashionable friends, who are naturally very
+much affronted at being excluded from the ball list, which they usually
+are, as a lady who undertakes to form a ball list for a friend is not a
+little arbitrary as to the conditions under which she assumes its
+management. She naturally wishes the ball to be confined to her own set,
+to the exclusion of what she terms all outsiders.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies are always more or less reluctant to yield up their ball to the
+exclusion of their old friends, however anxious they may be to make new
+ones. But when a ball is thus given it is thoroughly understood that
+conditions, however stringent, must be complied with.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Hostess should receive her Guests</span> at the head of the staircase at a
+ball given in town, and at the door of the ball-room at a country house
+ball. She should shake hands with each guest in the order of their
+arrival.</p>
+
+<p>The ladies of a party should advance towards the hostess, followed by
+the gentlemen of their party.</p>
+
+<p>A lady and gentleman should not ascend the staircase arm-in-arm, or make
+their entrance into the ball-room arm-in-arm. The gentlemen invariably
+enter the ball-room after the ladies of their party, and never before
+them, or <span class="pagenum"><a id="page90" name="page90"></a>[p.90]</span>arm-in-arm with them. A ball is usually opened either
+by the hostess herself, or by one of her daughters.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Opening a Fancy Dress Ball</span> simply signifies dancing in the first
+quadrille. Opening a dance means dancing the first valse.</p>
+
+<p>When a member of the Royal Family, or a foreign prince, is expected,
+dancing should not commence until the arrival of the royal guest; and
+when the royal guest is a lady, the host should open the ball with her,
+having his wife or daughter as <i>vis-à-vis</i>. When the royal guest is a
+prince, the hostess or her daughter should open the ball with him.</p>
+
+<p>When a prince wishes to dance with any lady present, with whom he is
+unacquainted, his equerry informs her of the prince's intention, and
+conducts her to the prince, saying as he does so, "Mrs. A&mdash;&mdash;, your
+Royal Highness" or "Miss B&mdash;&mdash;, your Royal Highness." The prince bows
+and offers her his arm; the lady should curtsey and take it. She should
+not address him until addressed by him, it not being considered
+etiquette to do so. The same course is followed by a princess; strangers
+to the princess should not ask her to dance, but the host has the
+privilege of doing so. When more than one royal personage is present,
+the one of the highest rank leads the way, with either hostess or host.
+(See <a href="#chap5">Chapter V.</a>)</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Royal Guests</span> should be received by the host and hostess at the entrance
+of the mansion, and by them conducted to the ball-room. At ball-suppers
+the same precedence is strictly in force, the royal guests leading the
+way with host or hostess (see <a href="#page49">p. 49</a>).</p>
+
+<p>The same etiquette should be observed on the departure of royal guests
+as on their arrival.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">General Introductions</span> should not be made to royal guests, and
+introductions should be made by request only.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page91" name="page91"></a>[p.91]</span>Gentlemen present at a ball are expected to ask the daughters of
+the house for one dance at least.</p>
+
+<p>A hostess should use her own discretion as to any introduction she
+thinks proper to make. When a ball is given in the country, the hostess
+should endeavour to find partners for those young ladies who are
+strangers to the general company. But when a ball is given in town, she
+is not expected to do so, as in town the guests are supposed to be
+acquainted with each other more or less, and to be independent of the
+kind offices of a hostess.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Dances mainly in vogue at the moment</span> are, "Valses," "The Boston,"
+"Two Steps," and "The Cotillon," in which handsome presents are given.
+"Quadrilles" are danced at "State Balls," and at those balls at which
+the King and Queen are present. Also at "Fancy Dress Balls." "Lancers"
+are danced occasionally at "Hunt Balls."</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Precedency observed</span> in sending guests in to supper is far more
+punctiliously followed in the country than in town. The host should take
+in the lady of highest rank present, and the hostess should endeavour to
+send in the principal guests according to their individual rank; but in
+town she generally leaves the guests to follow the host and lady of
+highest rank according to their inclinations, a guest should not enter
+the supper-room before the host has done so.</p>
+
+<p>When a gentleman takes a lady in to supper, he should re-conduct her to
+the ball-room as a matter of course; the fact of friends joining her in
+the supper-room would not relieve him from this obligation. And the same
+etiquette applies equally to a lady. She should return to the ball-room
+only with the gentleman who has taken her down to supper, unless she is
+engaged for the ensuing dance, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page92" name="page92"></a>[p.92]</span>when her partner might come in
+quest of her; she should then return to the ball-room with him.</p>
+
+<p>It is not usual for guests to take leave of a hostess at a London ball.
+This remark applies to acquaintances of the hostess, and not to intimate
+friends.</p>
+
+<p>At a country ball the guests are on a more friendly footing than is
+generally the case in town; and, therefore, make a point of taking leave
+of the hostess if possible.</p>
+
+<p>It is optional whether a host conducts a lady to her carriage or not. In
+the country more is expected of him than in town in this respect, as at
+a London ball, such a civility would involve a vast amount of exertion
+which few hosts would be willing to undergo: ladies accompanied by an
+acquaintance generally make their way to their carriages.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Custom of covering in Small Balconies</span> and the windows of the
+drawing-rooms where a ball takes place, rendering the atmosphere of the
+room almost insupportable from the total exclusion of air, is fast
+disappearing. The space gained by this means for the accommodation of
+the guests is totally disproportionate to the discomfort thereby
+entailed upon them.</p>
+
+<p>Ball-givers have at length realised the mistake of crowding two hundred
+to three hundred people together into rooms not properly ventilated, and
+it is now the rule, when covering in balconies, to introduce window
+frames into the bunting covering, and to drape them with lace curtains,
+etc., the windows of the ball-room being entirely removed.</p>
+
+<p>Large blocks of ice are frequently placed in convenient spots for the
+purpose of cooling the atmosphere, and coloured ice produces a pretty
+effect.</p>
+
+<p>Patent ventilators are also much in use, and the substitution of
+electric lighting, on account of its emitting little heat, has become
+general.</p>
+
+<p>Ball-goers appreciate these alterations as only those who <span class="pagenum"><a id="page93" name="page93"></a>[p.93]</span>have
+experienced the close, stifling atmosphere of an over-crowded ball-room
+can do, and as half the London ball-rooms are only average-sized
+drawing-rooms, the absurdity of excluding air from the ball-room with
+yards of thick canvas cannot be too severely criticised.</p>
+
+<p>Ball-givers, too, frequently issue far more invitations than the size of
+their rooms authorises, under the mistaken idea that to have a great
+crowd in their rooms is to give a good ball.</p>
+
+<p>But experienced ball-givers limit the number of their invitations to
+under two hundred, instead of expanding it to over three hundred.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Country Ball Season</span> ostensibly commences in November, reaches its
+zenith in January, and terminates early in February.</p>
+
+<p>The stewards of these balls are, as a rule, the representatives of the
+various classes by whom they are attended; the members of the
+aristocracy residing in the county heading the list of stewards, and the
+members of the professional classes usually closing it.</p>
+
+<p>The top of the ball-room is, as a rule, appropriated by the aristocratic
+element, head stewards and "lady patronesses."</p>
+
+<p>The enjoyment derived from country balls depends upon a variety of
+circumstances, which do not influence in a like degree the ball-going
+world of London.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">County Balls</span> are principally composed of a series of large parties
+brought by different ladies in the neighbourhood where the ball is held;
+but there are two classes of county balls, balls which are held in large
+and populous towns and attended by the principal residents of the towns,
+with only a small sprinkling of the county aristocracy and county
+gentry.</p>
+
+<p>There are also Hunt Balls and annual Charity Balls <span class="pagenum"><a id="page94" name="page94"></a>[p.94]</span>which take
+place between October and February, and which are an amalgamation of
+both classes of balls.</p>
+
+<p>The neighbourhood where a ball is held is a sufficient indication as to
+whether it is likely to be a smart one or not.</p>
+
+<p>As a rule the leading ladies of a county lend their names as patronesses
+and supporters of a charity ball, although it by no means follows that
+they will personally attend it; but a long list of influential
+patronesses materially increases the sale of tickets, which is the
+result to be achieved.</p>
+
+<p>A large attendance is not the primary object of a county ball, as the
+sum raised by the sale of tickets is only required to defray the
+expenses of the ball, although these are sometimes considerable,
+especially when the decorations are elaborate, and the arrangements on a
+grand scale, in which case there is not seldom a deficiency rather than
+a surplus, which deficiency is defrayed by the stewards themselves.</p>
+
+<p>To ensure a good ball considerable unanimity on the part of the county
+ladies is demanded, and they usually meet and consult together previous
+to fixing the date of the ball, to take into consideration the fixtures
+of neighbouring county balls, and so avoid the possibility of the said
+balls clashing with their own county ball, and also with a view of
+perhaps attracting the house parties of their more distant neighbours to
+swell the numbers at their own ball.</p>
+
+<p>House parties invited for a ball vary from ten to twenty-five, as the
+accommodation of a house admits.</p>
+
+<p>It is not the province of the stewards of a ball to find partners for
+either ladies or gentlemen, and therefore, if a lady does not form one
+of a large party, but merely attends a county ball with a relative or
+friend, and has not a large acquaintance amongst these present, she has
+very little chance of obtaining partners.</p>
+
+<p>Young ladies do not now return to their chaperons after each dance, or
+after they have been to the tea-room.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman should offer his arm to his partner at the conclusion of a
+dance to conduct her to the tea-room. <span class="pagenum"><a id="page95" name="page95"></a>[p.95]</span>In round dances, it is
+customary to take frequent pauses, and not to race round the ball-room
+until the music ceases.</p>
+
+<p>At country balls programmes are invariably used; at London balls they
+are never used, save at public balls.</p>
+
+<p>County balls usually commence between nine and ten o'clock, sometimes a
+ball is not opened until the most influential of the stewards and their
+parties have arrived, but oftener than not the two first dances are over
+before the arrival of the county magnates.</p>
+
+<p>It depends upon the length of the drive at what time people arrive at a
+ball; as a rule, they do not arrive later than 10.30 p.m.</p>
+
+<p>The usual mode of conveying a house-party to a ball is by private
+omnibus in addition to carriages and motor cars; but when these are
+hired for the occasion the expense should be defrayed by the guests
+themselves.</p>
+
+<p>It is usual to leave a country ball not later than half-past two; the
+most fashionable people invariably do so about that hour.</p>
+
+<p>As a matter of course persons attending public balls take their ball
+tickets with them.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When attending a Military Ball</span>, or a Hunt Ball, it is usually the rule
+to take the invitation card and hand it to the sergeant or official in
+attendance.</p>
+
+<p>It is sometimes stated on the invitation card that this is to be done,
+although it is often taken for granted that persons will do so of their
+own accord.</p>
+
+<p>At balls given by private individuals, the invited guests should not
+bring their invitation cards with them, unless in the case of a <i>bal
+masqué</i>, where they are sometimes requested to do so.</p>
+
+<p>In giving a ball three weeks' notice is considered necessary, but with
+regard to a dance a short ten days' notice would suffice.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page96" name="page96"></a>[p.96]</span><span class="subchap">The Invitation Card</span> is the usual "at home" card, the word
+"Dancing" being printed in the corner of the card.</p>
+
+<p>The word "ball" should never be used on an invitation card, however
+grand the entertainment; and the same form of invitation is employed
+either in the case of a small dance or of a large ball, though in the
+event of a small dance only being given, the words "Small" or "Early"
+should be written or printed on the invitation card.</p>
+
+<p>Invitations to a ball should be issued in the name of the hostess only.</p>
+
+<p>When the host is a widower, with a grown-up daughter, the invitations
+should be issued in their joint names.</p>
+
+<p>When the host is a widower, or a bachelor, they should be issued in his
+name.</p>
+
+<p>Invitations issued by officers, members of hunt committees, bachelors,
+etc., to their balls, either request the pleasure or the honour of Mrs.
+&mdash;&mdash;'s company; but this formula should not be used by ladies when
+issuing invitations; the "at home" card should simply bear the word
+"Dancing" on the bottom of the card, the hour and date filled in in the
+allotted space, the name of the guest written at the top of the card.</p>
+
+<p>In the case of a written invitation, it would be correct to use the
+words "ball" or "dance" when alluding to the entertainment about to be
+given, in a friendly note.</p>
+
+<p>A lady or gentleman might ask for an invitation for his or her friend to
+a ball given by an acquaintance, although the acquaintanceship were of a
+slight character; but a lady or gentleman should not ask for an
+invitation to a ball if unacquainted with the giver of it. The fact of
+mutual friends having received invitations to a ball gives no claim upon
+the hospitality of a stranger, therefore such requests are inadmissible.</p>
+
+<p>The proper course for a person to pursue in the event of desiring an
+invitation to a ball given by some one with <span class="pagenum"><a id="page97" name="page97"></a>[p.97]</span>whom he or she is
+unacquainted, is to request some mutual friend to obtain one; and this
+course is always followed.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Cards should be left</span> by the guests present at a ball within the current
+week if possible. (See <a href="#chap3">Chapter III.</a>)</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Gratuities</span> should never be given by the guests to the servants of the
+house where a ball is given.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">State Balls.</span>&mdash;Two State Balls are annually given at Buckingham Palace
+during the London season by command of His Majesty. Invitations are
+issued by the Lord Chamberlain, but His Majesty previously revises the
+list.</p>
+
+<p>When ladies and gentlemen attend a State Ball at Buckingham Palace they
+make their way to the ball-room <i>unannounced</i>; and there is no official
+reception accorded to them, either by "Royalty" or by the Lord
+Chamberlain.</p>
+
+<p>Dancing does not commence until the arrival of the royal party, when the
+guests rise and remain standing while the Royal Quadrille&mdash;with which
+the ball opens&mdash;is being danced.</p>
+
+<p>The King and Queen act as host and hostess on these occasions, but
+confine their attentions to those with whom they are personally
+acquainted.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies attending a State Ball at Buckingham Palace should wear the usual
+full evening dress; but they should not wear Court trains, or plumes, or
+lappets.</p>
+
+<p>Gentlemen attending State Balls should wear uniform or full Court
+dress&mdash;dress coat, breeches and silk stockings, shoes and buckles;
+trousers can only be worn as part of a uniform, and not with a Court
+dress as generally worn at a levée.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman intending to dance should remove his sword, otherwise he
+should not do so.</p>
+
+<p>When the Court is in mourning, ladies attending a State Ball should wear
+mourning according to the official notice which duly appears in the
+<i>Gazette</i>.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page98" name="page98"></a>[p.98]</span>Gentlemen should wear crape on the left arm, which is supplied
+in the cloak-room of the Palace to those who have forgotten to provide
+themselves with it, as it is imperative, when the Court is in mourning,
+that a band of crape should be worn at either State Ball or State
+Concert.</p>
+
+<p>The balls given by the princes and princesses of the blood royal are not
+State Balls, therefore Court dress is not worn by the gentlemen present.</p>
+
+<p>They act as host and hostess at the balls given by them and receive
+their guests, shaking hands with them as they are announced.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies and gentlemen do not take their cards of invitation with them to
+Buckingham Palace.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page99" name="page99"></a>[p.99]</span>CHAPTER XIII</h2>
+<h3>DINNER GIVING AND DINING OUT</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Dinner</span> giving is perhaps the most important of all social observances,
+therefore dinner parties rank first amongst all entertainments.</p>
+
+<p>Dinner giving is so thoroughly understood to rest upon the principle of
+an equivalent, that those who do not give dinners hardly come within the
+category of diners out. This rule, however, is open to many exceptions
+in favour of privileged individuals, popular and prominent members of
+society whose presence at dinner parties is appreciated and welcomed in
+most circles.</p>
+
+<p>Dinner-parties are of more frequent occurrence, and are of more social
+significance, than any other form of entertainment.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Dinner Invitations.</span>&mdash;An invitation to dinner conveys a greater mark of
+esteem, or friendship and cordiality, towards the guest invited, than is
+conveyed by an invitation to any other social gathering, it being the
+highest compliment, socially speaking, that is offered by one person to
+another. It is also a civility that can be readily interchanged, which
+in itself gives it an advantage over all other civilities.</p>
+
+<p>The orthodox dinner giver must necessarily possess a certain amount of
+wealth, and wealth and wit do not always go hand in hand. Oftener than
+not, the former rather overweights the latter; hence, the introduction
+of a lighter element in the form of amusing people whose <i>métier</i> in
+life it is to be amusing and to appear amused.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page100" name="page100"></a>[p.100]</span>Dinner giving is in itself not only a test of the position
+occupied in society by the dinner giver, but it is also a direct road to
+obtaining a recognized place in society. A means of enlarging a limited
+acquaintance and a reputation for giving good dinners is in itself a
+passport to fashionable society. Dinner giving, in the fullest sense of
+the word, is a science not easily acquired, so much depending on the
+talent which the host or hostess may possess for organizing
+dinner-parties.</p>
+
+<p>When a large dinner-party is contemplated, it is usual to give three
+weeks' notice, but of late this notice has been extended to four, five,
+and even six weeks.</p>
+
+<p>Diners out are rather inclined to rebel against this innovation,
+considering that an invitation bearing the date of a month hence pledges
+them to remain in town, and as it were controls their movements, for the
+acceptance of an invitation is in the eyes of diners out a binding
+obligation; only ill-health, family bereavement, or some all-important
+reason justifies its being set on one side or otherwise evaded.</p>
+
+<p>Those inconsiderate enough to make trivial excuses at the last moment
+are not often retained on the dinner-list of a host or hostess.</p>
+
+<p>Dinner invitations are issued in the joint names of host and hostess.</p>
+
+<p>The master of the house occupies a prominent position amongst his
+guests, when dispensing hospitality as a "dinner giver."</p>
+
+<p>From five to ten days' notice is considered sufficient for invitations
+to small and unceremonious dinner-parties.</p>
+
+<p>Printed cards are in general use in town for issuing dinner invitations,
+and can be purchased from any stationer; these cards only require to be
+filled in with the names of host and hostess and guests, date, hour, and
+address. The united names of the host and hostess should be written in
+the space left for that purpose. Thus, "Mr. and Mrs. A.," <span class="pagenum"><a id="page101" name="page101"></a>[p.101]</span>and
+the name or names of the guests in the next vacant space.</p>
+
+<p>When invitations are issued for small dinner-parties, it is more usual
+to write notes than to make use of printed cards.</p>
+
+<p>Acceptances or refusals of dinner invitations should be sent with as
+little delay as possible after the invitations have been received. It is
+a want of courtesy on the part of a person invited not to do so, as a
+hostess is otherwise left in doubt as to whether the person invited
+intends dining with her or not, and is consequently unable to fill up
+the vacant place with an eligible substitute; thus rendering her
+dinner-party an ill-assorted one.</p>
+
+<p>An answer to an invitation cannot be solicited in a subsequent note; it
+is therefore incumbent upon the invited person to dispatch an answer
+within a day or two at least. Dinner invitations are either sent by post
+or by a servant, and the answers are also conveyed in a like manner.</p>
+
+<p>Dinner invitations are invariably sent out by the hostess.</p>
+
+<p>It is not usual in town to invite more than three members of one family;
+it is now the custom to ask young ladies with their parents to
+dinner-parties.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Receiving Dinner-Guests.</span>&mdash;The guests should arrive within fifteen
+minutes of the hour named on the invitation card.</p>
+
+<p>On no occasion is punctuality more imperative than in the case of dining
+out; formerly many allowed themselves great latitude in this respect,
+and a long wait for the tardy guests was the result. A host and hostess
+frequently waited over half an hour for expected guests. But now
+punctuality has become the rule in the highest circles, and dinner is
+served within twenty minutes of the arrival of the first guest. In
+general, people much given to dining out make a point of arriving in
+good time; but there are many in society who presume upon their
+position, and are proverbially unpunctual, knowing that in the height of
+the season <span class="pagenum"><a id="page102" name="page102"></a>[p.102]</span>a hostess would wait half an hour rather than sit
+down to dinner without them; but this want of consideration soon becomes
+known in their different sets, and is always taken into account when
+"their company is requested at dinner."</p>
+
+<p>In France, it is not the rule, or the custom, to wait dinner for late
+arrivals, and the dinner is served punctually to the hour named in the
+invitation.</p>
+
+<p>The dinner-hour varies from eight to nine, although perhaps 8.30 is the
+most usual hour. In the country it ranges from 7.30 to 8.30.</p>
+
+<p>Punctuality on the part of the guests enables the hostess to make any
+introductions she may consider advisable before dinner is served.</p>
+
+<p>The host and hostess should be in readiness to receive their guests in
+the drawing-room at the hour specified on the card.</p>
+
+<p>On arrival, a lady should take off her cloak in the cloak-room, or
+should leave it in the hall with the servant in attendance, before
+entering the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman should leave his overcoat and hat in the gentlemen's
+cloak-room, or in the hall.</p>
+
+<p>At large dinner-parties, the butler is stationed on the staircase, and
+announces the guests as they arrive. At small dinner-parties, or where
+only one man-servant is kept, the servant precedes the guest or guests
+on their arrival, to the drawing-room. The guests should then give their
+names to the servant, that he may announce them.</p>
+
+<p>A lady and gentleman, on being announced, should not enter the
+drawing-room arm-in-arm or side by side. The lady or ladies, if more
+than one, should enter the room in advance of the gentleman, although
+the servant announces "Mr., Mrs., and Miss A."</p>
+
+<p>The host and hostess should come forward and shake hands with each guest
+on arrival. The ladies should at once seat themselves, but gentlemen
+either stand about the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page103" name="page103"></a>[p.103]</span>room and talk to each other, or sit
+down after a wait of some minutes.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is acquainted with many of the guests present, she should
+not make her way at once to shake hands with all, but should make an
+opportunity to do so in an unobtrusive manner; it would be sufficient to
+recognise them by a nod or a smile in the mean time. A lady should bow
+to any gentleman she knows, and he should cross the room to shake hands
+with her at once if disengaged.</p>
+
+<p>At a small dinner-party, where the guests are unacquainted, the hostess
+should introduce the persons of highest rank to each other; but at a
+large dinner-party, she would not do so, unless she had some especial
+reason for making the introduction.</p>
+
+<p>In the country, introductions at dinner-parties are far oftener made
+than in town.</p>
+
+<p>Precedency is strictly observed at all dinner-parties. (See <a href="#chap5">Chapter V.</a>)</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Sending Guests in to Dinner.</span>&mdash;The host should take the lady of highest
+rank present in to dinner, and the gentleman of highest rank should take
+the hostess. This rule is absolute, unless the lady or gentleman of
+highest rank is related to the host or hostess, in which case his or her
+rank would be in abeyance, out of courtesy to the other guests.</p>
+
+<p>A husband and wife, or a father and daughter, or a mother and son,
+should not be sent in to dinner together.</p>
+
+<p>A host and hostess should, if possible, invite an equal number of ladies
+and gentlemen. It is usual to invite two or more gentlemen than there
+are ladies, in order that the married ladies should not be obliged to go
+in to dinner with each other's husbands only. Thus, Mrs. A. and Mr. B.,
+Mr. B. and Mrs. A., Mrs. B. should be taken in to dinner by Mr. C., and
+Mr. A. should take Mrs. G., and so on.</p>
+
+<p>When ladies are in a majority at a dinner-party to the extent of two or
+three, the ladies of highest rank should <span class="pagenum"><a id="page104" name="page104"></a>[p.104]</span>be taken in to dinner
+by the gentlemen present, and the remaining ladies should follow by
+themselves; but such an arrangement is unusual and undesirable, though
+sometimes unavoidable when the dinner-party is an impromptu one, for
+instance, and the notice given has been but a short one.</p>
+
+<p>If there should be one gentleman short of the number required, the
+hostess frequently goes in to dinner by herself, following in the wake
+of the last couple.</p>
+
+<p>The usual mode of sending guests in to dinner is for the host or hostess
+to inform each gentleman, shortly after his arrival, which of the ladies
+he is to take in to dinner.</p>
+
+<p>No "choice" is given to any gentleman as to which of the ladies he would
+prefer taking in to dinner, it being simply a question of precedency.</p>
+
+<p>Should any difficulty arise as to the order in which the guests should
+follow the host to the dining-room, the hostess, knowing the precedency
+due to each of her guests, should indicate to each gentleman when it is
+his turn to descend to the dining-room. He should then offer his arm to
+the lady whom the host had previously desired him to take in to dinner.</p>
+
+<p>Dinner is announced by the butler or man-servant.</p>
+
+<p>When the guests have arrived, or when the host desires dinner to be
+served, he should ring or inform the servant accordingly.</p>
+
+<p>On dinner being announced, the host should give his right arm to the
+lady of highest rank present, and, with her, lead the way to the
+dining-room, followed by the lady second in rank, with a gentleman
+second in rank and so on. The gentleman of highest rank present should
+follow last with the hostess.</p>
+
+<p>When the second couple are about to leave the drawing-room, the hostess
+frequently requests each gentleman in turn to follow with a lady
+according to the precedency due to each. Thus, "Mr. A., will you take
+Mrs. B.?" This also answers the purpose of an introduction, should the
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page105" name="page105"></a>[p.105]</span>couple be unacquainted with each other, and the hostess has
+not found an opportunity of introducing them to each other on their
+arrival.</p>
+
+<p>When a case of precedency occurs, in which either the lady or gentleman
+must waive their right of precedence, that of the gentleman gives way to
+that of the lady. (See <a href="#chap5">Chapter V.</a>)</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman should offer his right arm to a lady on leaving the
+drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies and gentlemen should not proceed to the dining-room in silence,
+but should at once enter into conversation with each other. (See the
+work entitled "The Art of Conversing.")</p>
+
+<p>On entering the dining-room the lady whom the host has taken in to
+dinner should seat herself at his right hand. On the Continent this
+custom is reversed, and it is etiquette for the lady to sit at the left
+hand of the gentleman by whom she is taken in to dinner.</p>
+
+<p>The host should remain standing in his place, at the bottom of the
+table, until the guests have taken their seats, and should motion the
+various couples as they enter the dining-room to the places he wishes
+them to occupy at the table. This is the most usual method of placing
+the guests at the dinner-table. When the host does not indicate where
+they are to sit, they sit near to the host or hostess according to
+precedency.</p>
+
+<p>The host and hostess should arrange beforehand the places they wish
+their guests to occupy at the dinner-table.</p>
+
+<p>If a host did not indicate to the guests the various places he wished
+them to occupy, the result would probably be that husbands and wives
+would be seated side by side, or uncongenial people would sit together.</p>
+
+<p>The custom of putting a card with the name of the guest on the table in
+the place allotted to each individual guest is frequently followed at
+large dinner-parties, and in some <span class="pagenum"><a id="page106" name="page106"></a>[p.106]</span>instances the name of each
+guest is printed on a menu and placed in front of each cover.</p>
+
+<p>The host and the lady taken in to dinner by him should sit at the bottom
+of the table. He should sit in the centre at the bottom of the table and
+place the lady whom he has taken down at his right hand. The same rule
+applies to the hostess. She should sit in the centre at the top of the
+table, the gentleman by whom she has been taken in to dinner being
+placed at her left hand.</p>
+
+<p>The lady second in rank should sit at the host's left hand.</p>
+
+<p>Each lady should sit at the right hand of the gentleman by whom she is
+taken in to dinner.</p>
+
+<p>It is solely a matter of inclination whether a lady and gentleman, who
+have gone in to dinner together, converse with each other only, or with
+their right-and left-hand neighbours also, but they usually find some
+topic of conversation in common, otherwise a dinner-party would prove
+but a succession of <i>tête-à-tête</i>.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Menus</span> are placed the length of the table, on an average one to two
+persons or occasionally one to each person, and the menu cards are
+elaborate or simple, according to individual taste, and are purchased
+printed for the purpose, having a space for the names of the dishes to
+be filled in, which is usually done by the mistress of the house, unless
+the establishment is on a large scale, it being usual to write them out
+in French.</p>
+
+<p>Fanciful menu holders are much in use.</p>
+
+<p>The use of menus would be pretentious at a small dinner-party when there
+is but little choice of dishes; but when there is a choice of dishes a
+menu is indispensable.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Usual and Fashionable Mode of serving Dinner</span> is called <i>Dîner à la
+Russe</i>, although at small or friendly dinners the host sometimes prefers
+to carve the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page107" name="page107"></a>[p.107]</span>joint himself in the first course, and the birds
+in the second course. But dinner-tables, whether for dining <i>à la
+Russe</i>, or for dining <i>en famille</i>, are invariably arranged in the same
+style, the difference being merely the extent of the display made as
+regards flowers, plate and glass, which are the accessories of the
+dining-table.</p>
+
+<p>When the host helps the soup, a small ladleful for each person is the
+proper quantity; a soup-plate should not be filled with soup.</p>
+
+<p>When the party is a small one, and the joints or birds are carved by the
+host, the portions should be handed to the guests in the order in which
+they are seated, although occasionally the ladies are helped before the
+gentlemen.</p>
+
+<p>The rule at all dinner-parties is for the servant to commence serving by
+handing the dishes to the lady seated at the host's right hand, then to
+the lady seated at the host's left hand, and from thence the length of
+the table to each guest in the order seated, irrespective of sex.</p>
+
+<p>Double <i>entrées</i> should be provided at large dinner-parties, and the
+servants should commence handing the dishes at both sides of the table
+simultaneously.</p>
+
+<p><i>Dîner à la Russe</i> is the Russian fashion introduced into society many
+years ago. The whole of the dinner is served from a side-table, no
+dishes whatever being placed on the table save dishes of fruit.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Dinner-table Decorations.</span>&mdash;As regards the most correct style of
+dinner-table decorations, they offer great diversity of arrangement.</p>
+
+<p>High centre pieces and low centre pieces. Low specimen glasses placed
+the length of the table and trails of creepers and flowers laid on the
+table-cloth itself are some of the prevailing features of the day, but
+table decorations are essentially a matter of taste rather than of
+etiquette, and the extent of these decorations depends very much upon
+the size of the plate chest and the length of the purse of the dinner
+giver.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page108" name="page108"></a>[p.108]</span>The fruit for dessert is usually arranged down the centre of
+the table, amidst the flowers and plate. Some dinner-tables are also
+adorned with a variety of French conceits besides fruit and flowers;
+other dinner-tables are decorated with flowers and plate only, the
+dessert not being placed on the table at all; but this latter mode can
+only be adopted by those who can make a lavish display of flowers and
+plate in the place of fruit.</p>
+
+<p>As regards lighting the dinner table. Electric light is now in general
+use in town, and more or less in the country when possible. When not
+available, lamps and wax candles are used as heretofore. The shades in
+use should be carefully chosen as they add greatly to the comfort of the
+guests and to the success of the lighting. Silver candlesticks are often
+fitted with small electric lamps, and handsome silver lamps are brought
+into use in a similar manner for the dinner table.</p>
+
+<p>The term "cover" signifies the place laid at table for each person. It
+consists of a table-spoon for soup, fish knife and fork, two knives, two
+large forks, and glasses for wines given. For such arrangements see
+chapter "Waiting at dinner" in the work entitled "Waiting at Table."</p>
+
+<p>Sherry is always drunk after soup, hock with the fish after the soup.
+Champagne is drunk immediately after the first <i>entrée</i> has been served,
+and during the remainder of dinner until dessert. Claret, sherry, port,
+and Madeira are the wines drunk at dessert, and not champagne, as it is
+essentially a dinner wine. When liqueurs are given they are handed after
+the ices.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Dinner-table Etiquette.</span>&mdash;Soup should be eaten with a table-spoon and not
+with a dessert-spoon, it would be out of place to use a dessert-spoon
+for that purpose. Dessert-spoons, as their name implies, are intended
+for other purposes, such as for eating fruit-tarts, custard-puddings,
+etc., <span class="pagenum"><a id="page109" name="page109"></a>[p.109]</span>or any sweet that is not sufficiently substantial to be
+eaten with a fork.</p>
+
+<p>Fish should be eaten with a silver fork when possible, otherwise with a
+silver fish knife and fork.</p>
+
+<p>All made dishes, such as <i>quenelles</i>, <i>rissoles</i>, patties, etc., should
+be eaten with a fork only, and not with a knife and fork.</p>
+
+<p>For sweetbreads and cutlets, etc., a knife and fork are requisite; and,
+as a matter of course, for poultry, game, etc.</p>
+
+<p>In eating asparagus, a knife and fork should be used, and the points
+should be cut off and eaten with a fork as is seakale, etc.</p>
+
+<p>Salad should be eaten with a knife and fork; it is served on salad
+plates, which are placed beside the dinner-plates.</p>
+
+<p>Cucumber is eaten off the dinner-plate, and not off a separate plate.</p>
+
+<p>Peas should be eaten with a fork.</p>
+
+<p>In eating game or poultry, the bone of either wing or leg should not be
+touched with the fingers, but the meat cut close off the bone; and if a
+wing it is best to sever it at the joint, by which means the meat is cut
+off far more easily.</p>
+
+<p>Pastry should be eaten with a fork, but in the case of a fruit tart, a
+dessert-spoon should be used as well as a fork, but only for the purpose
+of conveying the fruit and juice to the mouth; and in the case of stone
+fruit&mdash;cherries, damsons, plums, etc.&mdash;either the dessert-spoon or fork
+should be raised to the lips to receive the stones, which should be
+placed at the side of the plate; but when the fruit stones are of larger
+size, they should be separated from the fruit with the fork and spoon,
+and left on the plate, and not put into the mouth; and whenever it is
+possible to separate the stones from the fruit it is best to do so.</p>
+
+<p>Jellies, blancmanges, ice puddings, etc., should be eaten with a fork,
+as should be all sweets sufficiently substantial to admit of it.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page110" name="page110"></a>[p.110]</span>When eating cheese, small morsels of the cheese should be
+placed with the knife on small morsels of bread, and the two conveyed to
+the mouth with the thumb and finger, the piece of bread being the morsel
+to hold, as cheese should not be taken up in the fingers, and should not
+be eaten off the point of the knife.<a name="FNanchor_A_3" id="FNanchor_A_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a></p>
+
+<p>The finger-glass should be removed from the ice-plate and placed on the
+left-hand side of the dessert-plate. When ices are not given, the
+d'oyley should be removed with the finger-glass and placed beneath it.</p>
+
+<p>When eating grapes, the half-closed hand should be placed to the mouth,
+and the stones and skins allowed to fall into the fingers, and placed on
+the side of the plate. Some persons bend the head so as to allow of the
+stones and skins of the grapes falling on the side of the plate; but
+this latter way is old-fashioned, and seldom followed. Cherries and
+other small stone-fruit should be eaten in the way grapes are eaten,
+also gooseberries.</p>
+
+<p>When strawberries and raspberries, etc., are not eaten with cream, they
+should be eaten from the stalks; when eaten with cream, a dessert-spoon
+should be used to remove them from the stalks. When served in the
+American fashion without stalks, both fork and spoon should be used.</p>
+
+<p>Pears and apples should be peeled and cut into halves and quarters with
+a fruit-knife and fork, as should peaches, nectarines, and apricots.</p>
+
+<p>Melons should be eaten with a spoon and fork.</p>
+
+<p>Pines with knife and fork.</p>
+
+<p>The dessert is handed to the guests in the order in which the dinner has
+been served.<a name="FNanchor_A_4" id="FNanchor_A_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a></p>
+
+<p>When the guests have been helped to wine, and the servants have left the
+dining-room, the host should pass <span class="pagenum"><a id="page111" name="page111"></a>[p.111]</span>the decanters to his guests,
+commencing with the gentleman nearest to him.</p>
+
+<p>It is not the fashion for gentlemen to drink wine with each other either
+at dinner or dessert, and the guest fills his glass or not, according to
+inclination.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies are not supposed to require a second glass of wine at dessert,
+and passing the decanters is principally for the gentlemen. If a lady
+should require a second glass of wine at dessert, the gentleman seated
+next to her would fill her glass; she should not help herself to wine.
+After the wine has been passed once around the table, or about ten
+minutes after the servants have left the dining-room, the hostess should
+give the signal for the ladies to leave the dining-room, by bowing to
+the lady of highest rank present, seated at the host's right hand. She
+should then rise from her seat, as should all the ladies on seeing her
+do so.</p>
+
+<p>The gentlemen should rise also, and remain standing by their chairs
+until the ladies have quitted the room, which they should do in the
+order in which they have entered it, the lady of highest rank leading
+the way, the hostess following last.</p>
+
+<p>The host, or the gentleman nearest the door, should open it for the
+ladies to pass out, and close it after them.</p>
+
+<p>When the ladies have left the dining-room, the gentlemen should close up
+as near to the host as possible, so as to render conversation general.</p>
+
+<p>The wines usually drunk by gentlemen after dinner are claret of a fine
+quality, and port.</p>
+
+<p>The ladies on leaving the dining-room return to the drawing-room. Coffee
+should be almost immediately brought to the drawing-room. The
+coffee-cups containing coffee should be brought on a silver salver, with
+a cream-jug and a basin of crystallised sugar.</p>
+
+<p>In large country houses coffee is sometimes brought in a silver
+coffee-pot, and the lady would then pour out her own coffee, the servant
+holding the salver the meanwhile.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page112" name="page112"></a>[p.112]</span>Coffee should be taken a few minutes later to the dining-room,
+and either handed to the gentlemen, or placed on the table, that they
+may help themselves (see the work previously referred to).</p>
+
+<p>A very general plan is, after the wine has gone round once or twice, for
+the host to offer cigarettes, which are smoked before the gentlemen join
+the ladies in the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>After coffee, the gentleman of highest rank should leave the dining-room
+first. The host would not propose an adjournment to the drawing-room,
+until he observed a wish to do so on the part of his guests, but there
+is no hard and fast rule on this head.</p>
+
+<p>It is not now the fashion for gentlemen to sit over their wine beyond
+fifteen or twenty minutes at the utmost, instead of as formerly, from
+three-quarters of an hour to an hour, a change much appreciated by
+hostesses.</p>
+
+<p>On the Continent the gentlemen accompany the ladies to the drawing-room,
+and do not remain in the dining-room as in England.</p>
+
+<p>The gentleman of highest rank present could suggest an adjournment to
+the drawing-room within a quarter of an hour if he thought proper to do
+so. If the other guests were engaged in a discussion in which he did not
+wish to take part, having suggested the adjournment, he could leave the
+dining-room to join the ladies in the drawing-room; but as a rule, the
+gentlemen leave the dining-room together, the host following last.</p>
+
+<p>The host should ring the dining-room bell before leaving the room, as an
+intimation to the butler that the gentlemen have left the room.</p>
+
+<p>At ceremonious dinner-parties in town neither music nor cards are
+introduced during the usual half-hour passed in the drawing-room before
+the hour for departure.</p>
+
+<p>At country-house dinner-parties music or round games of cards are in
+request.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page113" name="page113"></a>[p.113]</span><span class="subchap">Departure after Dinner.</span>&mdash;There is no rule as to the order in
+which the guests should take their leave. Half-past ten is the usual
+hour for general departure; and the butler announces the several
+carriages as they arrive to the guests in the drawing-room. But if any
+lady wished to inquire if her carriage had arrived, she should ask the
+hostess's permission to do so; and the bell would be rung for the
+purpose of making the enquiry. The same remark applies to ordering a
+cab: the lady should ask the hostess if one might be ordered for her.</p>
+
+<p>The hostess should shake hands with all her guests on their departure,
+rising from her seat to do so.</p>
+
+<p>Each guest on departure should shake hands with both host and hostess.</p>
+
+<p>If, on leaving the room, acquaintances should pass each other, they
+should wish each other good-night, but they should not make the tour of
+the rooms for the purpose of so doing.</p>
+
+<p>The host should conduct one or two of the principal of his lady guests
+to their carriages.</p>
+
+<p>The ladies should put on their cloaks in the cloak-room, the host
+waiting in the hall meanwhile.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman related to the host or hostess, or a friend of the family,
+could offer to conduct a lady to her carriage if the host were otherwise
+engaged.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Gratuities</span> should never be offered by the guests at a dinner-party to
+the servants in attendance. Gentlemen should not offer fees to the
+men-servants, neither should ladies to the lady's-maid in attendance.</p>
+
+<p>The guests should call on the hostess within a week or ten days after a
+dinner-party. If "not at home," a married lady should leave one of her
+own cards and two of her husband's; a widow should leave one of her own
+cards; a bachelor or a widower should leave two cards.</p>
+
+<p>The rule as to calling after dinner-parties is greatly <span class="pagenum"><a id="page114" name="page114"></a>[p.114]</span>relaxed
+between intimate friends, and the call often omitted altogether; and
+this more particularly as regards gentlemen, whose occupations during
+the day are considered good and sufficient reasons for not calling.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Country Dinner-parties.</span>&mdash;In the country, new acquaintances, if
+neighbours, should be asked to dinner within a month of the first call
+if possible, and the return invitation should be given within the
+following month.</p>
+
+<p>When guests are assembled at a country house, they are sent in to
+dinner, on the first evening, according to their individual precedence;
+but on subsequent evenings the gentlemen frequently draw lots to decide
+which lady they shall have the pleasure of taking in to dinner,
+otherwise a lady and gentleman would go in to dinner together five or
+six consecutive times, according to the length of the visit, but this is
+more a practice with people who march with the times, than with what are
+termed "old-fashioned people."</p>
+
+<p>When a party is varied by additional dinner-guests each evening, drawing
+lots gives way to precedency, it being too familiar a practice to be
+adopted at a large dinner-party.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Saying Grace</span>, both before and after 'dinner,' is a matter of feeling
+rather than of etiquette. It used to be very much the custom to say
+"grace," but of late years it is oftener omitted than not, especially at
+large dinner-parties in town.</p>
+
+<p>In the country, when a clergyman is present, he should be asked to say
+grace. When grace is said by the host, it is said in a low voice, and in
+a very few words; the guests inclining their heads the while.</p>
+
+<p>It was no rapid revolutionary change in manners that brought about the
+difference that now exists between the Elizabethan and present eras; no
+polished mentor came forward to teach that it was not the nicest and
+cleanest to do, to put knives into the salt, to dip fingers into
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page115" name="page115"></a>[p.115]</span>plates, or to spread butter with the thumb; on the contrary,
+these things righted themselves little by little, step by step, until
+the present code of manners was arrived at. But it is quite possible
+that a hundred years hence it will be discovered that the manners of the
+present century offered wide scope for improvement.</p>
+
+<p>In the meantime these rules of etiquette observed in society are adhered
+to and followed by those who do not wish to appear singular, eccentric,
+old-fashioned, unconventional, or any other adjective that the temper of
+their judges may induce them to apply to them for committing solecisms,
+either small or great.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Married Ladies, as a rule, dine out with their Husbands</span>, and do not
+accept invitations to large dinners when their husbands are unable to
+accompany them. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, and
+circumstances sometimes arise when it is greatly relaxed; but even in
+this case it would be in favour of small and friendly dinners rather
+than large ones.</p>
+
+<p>During any temporary absence of her husband, a lady would accept
+invitations to dine with her relatives and intimate friends, though she
+might refuse invitations to large dinners given by acquaintances; but,
+as a rule, when it is well known that the head of a house is away for
+any length of time, invitations are seldom sent to the wife by givers of
+large dinners.</p>
+
+<p>When young ladies are invited to dinner they accompany their father,
+mother or brother; but occasionally, when a young ladies' party is given
+by a friend of their parents', the young ladies are invited alone, and
+they should either go with their maid in a cab or by themselves in their
+father's carriage.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page116" name="page116"></a>[p.116]</span>CHAPTER XIV</h2>
+<h3>DINNER-TABLE ETIQUETTE</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Fashion</span> has its freaks and its vagaries, and in relation to inanimate
+objects these freaks and vagaries are but transitory and evanescent, but
+when they touch upon manners and modes they become a conventionality and
+a custom perhaps for many a year. Changes and innovations, slight as
+they are, are more subtle than sudden, and, paradoxical as it may seem,
+they are as important as they are insignificant; still it is difficult
+to believe that fingers once did duty for forks, and that it was not
+customary for a host to supply his guests with forks, who, if fastidious
+enough to require them, were expected to bring them in their pockets.</p>
+
+<p>There are here and there people in society who affect a few
+eccentricities of manner, but these whims at all times take the form of
+originalities and not of vulgarities; and even then are only indulged in
+by those whose position in society is secure.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards Dinner-table Etiquette.</span>&mdash;When a lady has taken her seat at
+the dinner-table, she should at once remove her gloves; although
+occasionally long elbow gloves are not removed during dinner, but this
+is conspicuous and inconvenient. She should unfold her serviette and
+place it on her lap. It is immaterial whether she places the bread on
+the right or left-hand side of the cover when taking it from the
+serviette.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman should do the same with his serviette and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page117" name="page117"></a>[p.117]</span>bread,
+placing the one across his knees, and the other at his right or left
+hand.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is some little time taking off her gloves, she should remove
+her serviette before doing so: otherwise a servant would offer her soup
+before she had made room for the soup-plate by removing the serviette,
+and she should decide quickly as to which of the two soups handed to her
+she will take, so as not to keep the servant waiting; and so on through
+every course throughout the dinner as regards fish, meat, etc.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The guests should consult the menu</span> on first sitting down to dinner.
+Eating soup comes first under notice. In olden days it was customary to
+drink it out of a basin. In these days no one "drinks" soup, it is
+"eaten"; whether it be mock turtle or the clearest julienne, it is eaten
+out of a soup-plate at dinner, and with a table-spoon.</p>
+
+<p>There is a reason for this choice of spoons; soup is nothing if it is
+not hot, and as it is the custom to give only about half a ladleful to
+each person, it is eaten quicker, and therefore hotter, with a large
+spoon than with a small one.</p>
+
+<p>There is also a good and sufficient reason for small quantities of soup
+being given in lieu of large ones, viz. the extent of the menu; and when
+a plateful of soup is handed to a guest accustomed to the regulation
+supply, he fears that he is expected to dine off it, and that there is
+nothing much to follow.</p>
+
+<p>Again, small helpings require a smaller quantity of soup to be provided,
+and a servant is less likely to spill plates containing a little soup
+than plates that are half full.</p>
+
+<p>At ball suppers, when soup is served in soup-plates, it is also eaten
+with a table-spoon, but not when served in small cups.</p>
+
+<p>Many years ago it was fashionable to eat fish with a fork and a crust of
+bread; previous to this a table-knife and fork <span class="pagenum"><a id="page118" name="page118"></a>[p.118]</span>were considered
+the proper things to use for this purpose. It was then discovered that a
+steel knife gave an unpalatable flavour to the fish, and a crust of
+bread was substituted for the knife. This fashion lasted a considerable
+time, in spite of the fingers being thus brought unpleasantly near to
+the plate, and to this day old-fashioned people have a predilection for
+that crust of bread. One evening a well-known diner-out discarded his
+crust of bread, and ate his fish with two silver forks; this notion
+found such general favour that society dropped the humble crust and took
+up a second fork. This fashion had its little day, but at length the two
+forks were found heavy for the purpose and not altogether satisfactory,
+and were superseded by the dainty and convenient little silver
+fish-knife and fork which are now in general use.</p>
+
+<p>Small pieces of fish should always be given, and two different sorts of
+fish should not be placed on the same plate.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When oysters are given</span> they precede the soup, and should be eaten with a
+dinner-fork, not with a fish-fork. In eating oysters the shell should be
+steadied on the plate with the fingers of the left hand, the oysters
+should not be cut, but should be eaten whole. Very many ladies do not
+eat oysters at dinner simply because they do not like them, while others
+refuse them under the impression that it is more ladylike not to eat
+them. Perhaps with regard to young ladies it is a taste to be acquired.
+Some men are very, if not over, fastidious, about the appetites
+displayed by ladies, and would have them reject the <i>entrées</i> and dine
+upon a slice of chicken and a spoonful of jelly. Others, on the
+contrary, respect a good appetite as giving proof of good health and
+good digestion. There is of course a medium in all things, and as large
+dinners are ordered mainly with a view to please the palates of men with
+epicurean tastes, it is not expected that ladies should eat of the most
+highly seasoned and richest of the dishes given, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page119" name="page119"></a>[p.119]</span>but should
+rather select the plainest on the menu. This remark more particularly
+applies to young ladies and young married ladies, whilst middle-aged and
+elderly ladies are at liberty to do pretty much as they please, without
+provoking comment or even observation.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">With reference to entrées</span>, some are eaten with a knife and fork, others
+with a fork only. All <i>entrées</i> that offer any resistance to a fork
+require the aid of both knife and fork, such as cutlets, <i>filet de
+b&oelig;uf</i>, sweetbreads, etc., but when rissoles, patties, quenelles,
+boneless curry, <i>vol-au-vents</i>, timbales, etc., are eaten, the fork only
+should be used.</p>
+
+<p>In the case of the lighter <i>entrées</i>, the contact of the knife is
+supposed to militate against their delicate flavour; thus, for these
+<i>bonnes bouches</i> the fork is all-sufficient wherewith to divide and eat
+them.</p>
+
+<p>The leg of a chicken, pheasant, duck, or wild duck should never be given
+to a guest save on those occasions when there are more guests present
+than there is meat from breasts and wings to offer them. Under these
+circumstances the carver is reduced to the necessity of falling back
+upon the legs of the birds, but in this case only the upper part of the
+thigh should be given, thus a guest has little difficulty in cutting the
+meat from the bone. A wing of a bird is usually given to a lady.
+Formerly it was thought a correct thing to sever the wing at the joint
+and then to cut the meat from the bone; but this requires a certain
+amount of strength in the wrist, and dexterity, should the bird not be
+in its <i>première jeunesse</i>.</p>
+
+<p>As regards small pigeons, golden plovers, snipe, quails, larks, etc., a
+whole bird is given to each guest, and the proper way to eat these birds
+is to cut the meat from the breast and wings and to eat each morsel at
+the moment of cutting it; the bird should not be turned over and over on
+the plate, or cut in half or otherwise dissected. The legs of Bordeaux
+pigeons are not, as a rule, eaten, and half a bird only is given, as
+there is sufficient on the wing and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page120" name="page120"></a>[p.120]</span>breast to satisfy an
+ordinary second-course appetite. When the legs of smaller birds are
+eaten, such as snipe or golden plover, the meat should be cut off as
+from the breast or wing.</p>
+
+<p>Young girls, as a rule, seldom eat a second course delicacy of this
+description; a little chicken or pheasant on the contrary is usually
+accepted by them.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When large potatoes are served</span> in their skins a salad-plate should be
+handed at the same time whereon to place them.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When asparagus first comes into season</span> it is often given in the second
+course instead of in the first, in which case it is eaten as a separate
+dish. When handed with meat or poultry it should be eaten on the same
+plate containing either.</p>
+
+<p>In eating asparagus, some elderly gentlemen still adhere to the fashion
+of their youth and hold the stalks in their fingers, but the younger
+generation cut off the points with a knife and fork.</p>
+
+<p>Seakale also is given in the second course when first in season, and
+should be eaten with a knife and fork.</p>
+
+<p>Mushrooms are also eaten with a knife and fork.</p>
+
+<p>It need hardly be said that it would be a vulgarity to eat peas with a
+knife, although those who reside abroad, or who are in the habit of
+travelling on the continent, are not unaccustomed to seeing this done by
+foreigners who are well-bred men.</p>
+
+<p>Artichokes are, it may be said, an awkward and untidy vegetable to eat;
+they are only given in the second course as a separate vegetable; the
+outside leaves should be removed with the knife and fork, and the inner
+leaves which surround the heart, or head of the artichoke should be
+conveyed to the mouth with the fingers and sucked dry; epicures consider
+this vegetable a dainty morsel; but at dinner-parties young ladies
+should not attempt to eat these artichokes.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page121" name="page121"></a>[p.121]</span>Savouries, when possible, should be eaten with a fork, but
+occasionally a knife also is of imperative use.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards sweets</span>, <i>compôtes</i> of fruit and fruit tarts should be eaten
+with a dessert-spoon and fork, as should those dishes where juice or
+syrup prevails to the extent of rendering a dessert-spoon necessary. But
+whenever it is possible to use a fork in preference to a spoon it is
+always better to do so.</p>
+
+<p>Jellies, creams, blancmanges, ice puddings, etc., should be eaten with a
+fork.</p>
+
+<p>As a matter of course, young ladies do not eat cheese at dinner-parties.</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page122" name="page122"></a>[p.122]</span>CHAPTER XV</h2>
+<h3>EVENING PARTIES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Evening Parties</span> are styled receptions or "at homes" according to the
+number of guests invited. In official and political circles they are
+invariably styled "Receptions," but when given on a smaller scale in
+general society they are styled "At Homes."</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Invitations</span> to evening parties should be issued on "at home" cards.</p>
+
+<p>The name of the person invited should be written at the top of the card
+at the right-hand corner, the words "at home" being printed beneath the
+name of the lady issuing the invitation, the day and date beneath the
+words "at home," the hour beneath the date. The address should be
+printed at the bottom of the card.</p>
+
+<p>When music is to be given it should be mentioned on the "at home" card,
+thus, "Music."</p>
+
+<p>The hour varies from 10 to 11 o'clock; in private circles 10 or 10.30 is
+the usual hour; in official circles 10.30 or 11 o'clock.</p>
+
+<p>When a foreign royal personage is expected, or a foreigner of
+distinction, or a personage possessing public interest, the words "To
+meet Her Serene Highness Princess D.," or "To meet Count C." should be
+written at the top of the invitation cards.</p>
+
+<p>When a reception or "at home" follows a dinner-party given by the
+hostess, it is not usual to provide any <span class="pagenum"><a id="page123" name="page123"></a>[p.123]</span>special amusement for
+the guests. But when an "at home" does not follow a dinner-party, it is
+usual to provide some sort of amusement for the guests, such as
+professional vocal or instrumental music.</p>
+
+<p>The guests are expected to arrive from half an hour to an hour of the
+time mentioned on the invitation card, although it is optional when they
+do so.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Receiving the Guests.</span>&mdash;The hostess should receive her guests at the head
+of the staircase, where she usually remains until the principal of her
+guests have arrived; while the host welcomes the guests in the
+drawing-room itself.</p>
+
+<p>Receptions or "at homes" usually terminate shortly before one o'clock,
+save on Saturdays, when the hour of departure is 12 o'clock precisely.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Making Introductions.</span>&mdash;A hostess should use her own discretion as
+regards making introductions.</p>
+
+<p>When a royal personage is present the most distinguished of the guests
+should be presented by the host or hostess. When a celebrity is present
+introductions should also be made; and as regards general introductions
+they should be made whenever the hostess judges it expedient to do so,
+and the principal guests when unacquainted should be introduced to each
+other when the opportunity occurs.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Going in to Supper.</span>&mdash;The host should take the lady of highest rank in to
+supper.</p>
+
+<p>When a royal princess is present the host should take her in to supper.</p>
+
+<p>When a royal prince is present he should take the hostess in to supper.
+(See <a href="#chap5">Chapter V.</a>)</p>
+
+<p>It is optional whether the hostess follows with the gentleman of highest
+rank present, unless a foreign prince <span class="pagenum"><a id="page124" name="page124"></a>[p.124]</span>is present, when she
+should follow the host, and in the case of a royal prince being present
+she should precede the host.</p>
+
+<p>When a royal prince or princess or a serene highness is present a table
+should be set apart for the host and hostess and royal party, and any
+among the guests whom the royal visitors may desire should join them at
+supper.</p>
+
+<p>When the supper-room is not sufficiently large to accommodate the whole
+of the guests at the same time, the most distinguished guests should go
+in first.</p>
+
+<p>When the host is informed that supper is served he should tell the
+principal gentlemen present which of the ladies he wishes them to take
+into supper, and should himself lead the way with the lady of highest
+rank present.</p>
+
+<p>The hostess should also assist in sending the principal guests in to
+supper, and when the general company observe the move towards the
+supper-room, they should follow in the same direction.</p>
+
+<p>When the general company are apparently not aware that the supper-room
+is open, the hostess should ask the various gentlemen to take the ladies
+in to supper, and should herself lead the way with one of the gentlemen.</p>
+
+<p>When the general company find the supper-room crowded they should return
+to the drawing-room for a quarter of an hour or so; but the hostess
+should arrange for some instrumental or vocal performance to commence
+when supper is first served, so as to occupy the attention of the guests
+who remain in the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>The guests frequently do not return to the drawing-room after supper,
+but go to the cloak-room for their cloaks and wraps, and thence to their
+carriages.</p>
+
+<p>It is not usual to take leave of the host and hostess at receptions.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page125" name="page125"></a>[p.125]</span><span class="subchap">Royal Guests present.</span>&mdash;When a royal personage is present the
+host should conduct her to her carriage.</p>
+
+<p>When a foreign prince is present the host should accompany him to the
+hall door.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Tea and Light Refreshments</span> should be served during the evening in the
+library, or in an adjacent apartment.</p>
+
+<p>Supper should be served at twelve o'clock, in the dining-room, and
+should be similar in character to a ball supper.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Invitations to Bridge Parties</span> are issued on "at home" cards when the
+guests number upwards of forty, and on visiting cards when a lesser
+number is invited.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Invitation Form</span> is, "Mrs. A&mdash;&mdash; At Home" in both instances. The day,
+date, and hour are put beneath the words "at home," and "Bridge" in the
+corner of the cards opposite the address. The usual hour for holding
+these evening receptions is 9 o'clock p.m., which allows of three hours'
+play before midnight. The guests arrive very punctually, rather before
+than after the hour named on the invitation cards. The guests comprise
+an equal number of both sexes, as husbands and wives are invited
+together when both are known to be bridge players, and bachelors who do
+not disdain playing for small stakes are in great request. Also
+unmarried ladies of a certain age; not girls in their teens.</p>
+
+<p>Prizes are given in some houses to the conquering players. One for the
+ladies and one for the gentlemen, and occasionally a second prize for
+the second best player of either sex. This is done when playing for
+money does not commend itself to a host and hostess. The prizes consist
+for the most part of useful articles. For instance, a box of gloves, a
+box of bon-bons, a case of eau d'Cologne, a card-case, a bag purse, and
+so on, all of which are acceptable to <span class="pagenum"><a id="page126" name="page126"></a>[p.126]</span>ladies; and a box of
+cigars or cigarettes, a silver pocket-flask, a silver-mounted stick or
+umbrella, are prizes the men winners are pleased to accept.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bridge Tables</span> at which the guests are to sit are numbered, and the
+hostess arranges by whom they are to be occupied. The names&mdash;four in
+number for each table&mdash;are written or printed with the number of the
+table upon small cards and given to the guests by the hostess on
+arrival. This is done that good players may be placed together, and to
+save confusion and loss of time in seating them at the various tables.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Refreshments</span> provided consist in the first instance of "coffee,"
+which is brought into the card-room or drawing-room and handed to the
+guests. No eatables are given with this after-dinner coffee. A supper is
+given either at the conclusion of the play at 12 o'clock&mdash;this being the
+more usual plan&mdash;or at 10.30, after which play is resumed for another
+hour or so; but the latter is more of a provincial custom than a town
+one, and is intended for those whose dinner hour is an early one&mdash;6.30,
+perhaps.</p>
+
+<p>When a supper is not given, very good light refreshments are substituted
+for it, including cups of hot soup in the winter months.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Going in to Supper</span> is arranged as far as possible on the following
+lines, if precedence does not prevent its being carried out. The players
+at each table who are partners when supper is served go in together. The
+host leads the way with his partner, and all follow, the hostess and her
+partner going last.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Cards should be left</span> within a week or ten days after a reception.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page127" name="page127"></a>[p.127]</span>A married lady should leave one of her own and two of her
+husband's cards.</p>
+
+<p>A widow should leave one of her own cards.</p>
+
+<p>A bachelor or widower should leave two of his cards. (See <a href="#chap3">Chapter III.</a>)</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page128" name="page128"></a>[p.128]</span><a id="chap16" name="chap16">CHAPTER XVI</a></h2>
+<h3>WEDDINGS AND WEDDING LUNCHEONS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Afternoon Weddings</span> are invariably solemnized at 2.30 o'clock. Only very
+quiet weddings take place in the morning hours. Formerly, it was only
+the few who were in a position to obtain special licences who could have
+afternoon weddings.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Marriage by "Banns"</span> is greatly in favour in general society. The banns
+must be published three consecutive weeks previous to the marriage in
+the parish in which the bridegroom resides, and also in that in which
+the bride resides, and both should reside fifteen days in their
+respective parishes previous to the banns being published.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Marriages by Licence.</span>&mdash;When a marriage is solemnised by licence the
+cost, with fees and stamps, amounts to <i>£</i>2. This should be obtained at
+the Faculty Office, or at the Vicar-General's Office, Doctors' Commons,
+and is available at any church in the parish where one of the parties
+has resided for fifteen days previous to the application being made for
+the licence, either in town or country.</p>
+
+<p>When the licence is obtained in the country through a clerical surrogate
+the cost varies, according to the diocese, from <i>£</i>1 15<i>s.</i> to <i>£</i>2
+12<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Special Licences</span> can only be obtained from the Archbishop of Canterbury,
+after application at the Faculty Office, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page129" name="page129"></a>[p.129]</span>and an especial
+reason must be given for the application, and one that will meet with
+the Archbishop's approval.</p>
+
+<p>The fees for a special marriage licence average <i>£</i>29 5<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Fees</span> to the officiating clergymen vary considerably, according to
+the position and means of the bridegroom, from <i>£</i>1 1<i>s.</i> to <i>£</i>5 5<i>s.</i>,
+as the inclination of the bridegroom may dictate.</p>
+
+<p>The fee to the verger is subject to a like variation, commencing at
+2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i></p>
+
+<p>All fees relating to a marriage should be defrayed by the bridegroom,
+and paid by him, or by the best man on his behalf, in the vestry of the
+church, previous to the ceremony; immediately after it, or some days
+earlier.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Etiquette observed at Weddings</span> is invariably the same whether the
+wedding takes place in the morning or in the afternoon, or whether it is
+a grand wedding or a comparatively small one, whether the guests number
+two hundred or whether they number twenty.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Invitations</span> should be issued from three weeks to a fortnight before
+the wedding-day.</p>
+
+<p>The wedding luncheon or wedding reception should be given by the parents
+of the bride or by her nearest relative, and the invitations should be
+issued in the names of both parents.</p>
+
+<p>The invitations should be issued in notes printed in ink; they are now
+seldom printed in silver. The form should be as follows: "Mr. and Mrs.
+&mdash;&mdash; request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. &mdash;&mdash;'s company at the marriage
+of their daughter Helen with Mr. John S&mdash;&mdash;, at St. Peter's Church,
+Hanover Square, on Tuesday, May 8th, at 2.30 o'clock, and afterwards at
+&mdash;&mdash; Square. R.S.V.P."</p>
+
+<p>If a stepdaughter, it should be "at the marriage of Mrs. A&mdash;&mdash;'s
+daughter Helen B&mdash;&mdash;."</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page130" name="page130"></a>[p.130]</span><span class="subchap">Wedding Presents.</span>&mdash;Every one who is invited to a wedding
+invariably makes the bride or bridegroom a present; it is the received
+rule to do so. Many send presents before the invitations are sent
+out&mdash;as soon as the engagement is made known, if it is not to be a long
+one.</p>
+
+<p>There is no rule as to the time before the wedding-day when the present
+should be sent; but invitations are usually sent to those who have given
+presents, even though they live at a considerable distance, and may not
+be able to attend the wedding.</p>
+
+<p>Wedding presents are displayed on tables of various sizes, according to
+their number, and if very numerous and valuable, it is not unusual to
+exhibit them at an afternoon tea, given for the purpose on the day
+previous to the wedding. Each present should bear the card of the giver
+attached to it. Presents of silver plate should be placed on a table
+covered with dark cloth or velvet. It is not unusual to surround the
+presents with flowers, notably roses, and this is often done by persons
+of artistic tastes.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bridegroom should provide</span> the wedding-ring and the bridal bouquet.</p>
+
+<p>The bouquets for the bridesmaids are also the gift of the bridegroom,
+and should be sent to them on the morning of the wedding. He is also
+expected to make a present to each bridesmaid&mdash;either a brooch, a
+locket, a bracelet, or a fan, which should either be sent the day before
+the wedding or on the morning of the wedding-day.</p>
+
+<p>The bridegroom should provide the motor-car to convey himself and his
+bride from the church to the house where the wedding luncheon and
+reception are to take place, and again from the house to the
+railway-station, or, if the journey is made by road, to the place of
+honeymoon; but frequently the bride's father places his own motor-car at
+the disposal of the bride and bridegroom for this purpose, especially in
+the country. The bridal carriage <span class="pagenum"><a id="page131" name="page131"></a>[p.131]</span>is the only one, according to
+etiquette, which the bridegroom is expected to provide.</p>
+
+<p>The invited guests should provide their own conveyances, and neither the
+bridegroom nor the bride's father are ever expected to do so. This
+should be thoroughly understood by the guests in every case.</p>
+
+<p>The custom of having groomsmen to support the bridegroom is now very
+general, as at royal weddings, a royal bridegroom being supported by
+from four to six groomsmen. Two of the groomsmen usually act as ushers
+and assist in seating the guests.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Best Man</span> should be a bachelor, although a married man could act in
+this capacity. He should either accompany the bridegroom to the church
+or meet him there. He should stand at his right hand during the
+ceremony&mdash;a little in the rear&mdash;and should render him the trifling
+service of handing him his hat at the close of it.</p>
+
+<p>He should sign the register afterwards in the vestry, and should pay the
+fees to the clergyman and to the verger, on behalf of the bridegroom,
+either before or after the ceremony, if the bridegroom does not pay them
+on arrival.</p>
+
+<p>The bridegroom and best man should arrive at the church before the
+bride, and await her coming, standing at the right-hand side of the
+chancel gates.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bride</span> should be driven to the church in her father's motor-car. If
+she has a sister or sisters, and they officiate as bridesmaids, they,
+with her mother, should precede her to the church. The motor-car should
+then return to fetch the bride and her father; but when she has no
+sisters, her father generally precedes her to the church, and receives
+her at the church door, her mother accompanying her in the motor-car.</p>
+
+<p>The bridesmaids should arrive some little time before the bride, and
+form a line on either side of the church <span class="pagenum"><a id="page132" name="page132"></a>[p.132]</span>porch, or within the
+church doorway. The mother of the bride usually stands beside them.</p>
+
+<p>When the bride arrives she should take her father's right arm, or the
+right arm of her eldest brother or nearest male relative, who is deputed
+to give her away; he should meet her at the church door in the place of
+her father, and conduct her to the chancel or altar.</p>
+
+<p>At choral weddings the clergy and choir head the bridal procession and
+lead the way to the chancel, singing a hymn the while.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bridesmaids</span> should follow the bride and her father up the nave of
+the church. When the number of bridesmaids is even, four, six, eight, or
+twelve; but when the number is odd, as five, seven, or nine, and three
+of them happen to be children, which is generally the case, the elder
+bridesmaids should walk "two and two," following next after the
+children.</p>
+
+<p>At fashionable weddings one or two little boys act as pages, and
+occasionally bear the bride's train.</p>
+
+<p>The head bridesmaid is generally the bride's eldest unmarried sister or
+the bridegroom's sister, and she should follow next to the bride with
+her companion bridesmaid, when children are not included in the group.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bride's Mother</span> should follow next to the bridesmaids, and walk by
+the side of her son, or other male relative, in following them up the
+nave of the church. Ladies and gentlemen do not walk arm-in-arm at a
+wedding, but side by side.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bride's Immediate Relatives</span> and the near relatives of the bridegroom
+should seat themselves in pews or chairs, according to the church in
+which the service is celebrated. In some churches the service takes
+place at the entrance of the chancel, and the bridal party enter the
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page133" name="page133"></a>[p.133]</span>chancel and stand at the altar to receive the address, and the
+concluding portion of the service only is there celebrated.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bridegroom's Relatives</span> should place themselves on entering at the
+right of the nave, thus being on the bridegroom's right hand, and seat
+themselves in pews. The relatives of the bride should place themselves
+on entering at the left of the nave, thus being on the bride's left
+hand, and seat themselves in pews or chairs. Large cards with the words
+"For the Relatives of the Bridegroom," "For the Relatives of the Bride,"
+are frequently placed in the pews to indicate where they are to sit.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bride</span> should stand at the bridegroom's left hand; the bride's
+father, or nearest male relative, should stand at her left hand, in
+order to give her away.</p>
+
+<p>The bridesmaids should stand immediately behind the bride in the order
+in which they pass up the church.</p>
+
+<p>The bride should take off her gloves at the commencement of the service
+and should give them with her bouquet to the head bridesmaid to hold.</p>
+
+<p>The invited guests should sit in the pews or chairs.</p>
+
+<p>Guests seldom take their prayer-books with them to the church to follow
+the service therefrom. The hymns sung are usually printed on leaflets,
+and placed in the pews or on the seats.</p>
+
+<p>The bridegroom generally wears a flower in his button-hole, as he does
+not wear a wedding favour.</p>
+
+<p>The other gentlemen may, as a matter of course, wear button-hole
+bouquets, if they please.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When the Service is concluded</span>, the bride should take the bridegroom's
+left arm, and, preceded by the officiating clergyman, and followed by
+her head bridesmaids, father, mother, and the most distinguished of the
+guests, should enter the vestry, where the register should <span class="pagenum"><a id="page134" name="page134"></a>[p.134]</span>be
+signed by the bride and bridegroom, two or three of the nearest
+relatives, and by two or three of the most intimate of the friends, and
+principal of the guests, including the best man and the head bridesmaid.
+The bride's father should sign it, but it is optional whether the
+bride's mother does so or not.</p>
+
+<p>When the register has been signed, and those in the vestry have shaken
+hands with the bride and offered their congratulations, the bride should
+take the bridegroom's left arm and pass down the nave of the church
+followed by her bridesmaids, in the same order as they have previously
+passed up the nave.</p>
+
+<p>The bride and bridegroom usually leave the church without pausing to
+shake hands with many of their friends present if a reception is to
+follow.</p>
+
+<p>When the bride and bridegroom have driven off from the church, the
+bride's mother should be the next to follow, that she may be at home to
+receive the guests as they arrive. There is no precedence as to the
+order in which the remainder of the company leave the church; it
+entirely depends on the cleverness of their servants in getting up their
+motor-cars.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Button-hole Bouquets</span> of natural flowers have entirely superseded the
+old-fashioned wedding favours for both ladies and gentlemen, and are
+sometimes offered to the guests before they leave their seats at the
+conclusion of the ceremony, but not invariably so. Button-hole bouquets
+should be worn on the left side, by both ladies and gentlemen.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Bride who is a Widow</span> should not wear a bridal veil, nor a wreath of
+orange-blossoms, nor orange-blossom on her dress.</p>
+
+<p>She should not be attended by bridesmaids, and wedding favours should
+not be worn by the guests.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page135" name="page135"></a>[p.135]</span><span class="subchap">How the Invitations to the Wedding Reception of a Widow</span> should
+be issued depends upon individual circumstances. For instance, if a
+young widow resides with her parents, the invitations should be issued
+in their names as at her first marriage, and the form of invitation
+should be similar, save that the words "Their daughter, Mrs. A., widow
+of Mr. A." should be substituted for her christian name. If, as is very
+frequently the case, a widow resides in her own house, or if the
+marriage is to take place from an hotel, the invitations should be
+issued in her own name, and the form should be "Mrs. Cecil A. requests
+the pleasure (or the honour) of Mr. and Mrs. B.'s company at her
+marriage with Mr. Henry C., at St. George's Church on Tuesday, December
+30th, at 2.30 o'clock, and afterwards at Eaton Gardens, R.S.V.P." "The
+presence of" instead of "the company of" may be put if preferred.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">It is understood that a Widow should not have Bridesmaids</span>, but it is
+open to her to have the attendance of pages, if a wedding is to be a
+fashionable and smart one, although many ladies do not avail themselves
+of this privilege. The bridegroom should have a best man, as a matter of
+course; he may be the bride's brother if desired (the idea that this is
+not permitted is an erroneous one). A married man might be asked to act
+in the capacity of best man, there being no bridesmaids to require his
+attention, although this is seldom done, and a bachelor brother or
+friend is preferred.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Widow may be given away</span> by her father, uncle, brother, or even by a
+friend; indeed, it is more usual to have this support than not. At a
+first marriage "to be given away" is imperative, at a second it is
+optional; and if a widow at a quiet wedding prefers not to follow this
+custom she can do so.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page136" name="page136"></a>[p.136]</span><span class="subchap">Much Uncertainty exists as to whether a Widow should or should
+not continue to wear her First Wedding Ring</span> when she marries a second
+time. In point of fact there is no hard and fast rule with regard to it,
+and a widow may continue or not continue to wear it, as she feels
+inclined. If she has children, and has had some years of married life,
+she usually retains it. If she is a young widow, she is likely to remove
+it, and wear the second ring only; but when this is her intention, she
+should not cease to wear it until she has arrived at the church, and has
+taken off her gloves previous to the ceremony; but, take it all in all,
+it is more usual to wear the two wedding rings than the second one only.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Formerly, Widows considered it Imperative to be married in Widow's
+Colours</span>, grey or mauve, and that white was forbidden wear; but it is no
+longer so regarded, and a widow may and does wear white or cream on her
+wedding-day&mdash;not exactly a maiden bridal dress, as a tinge of colour is
+introduced. The larger number still regard pale grey or pale heliotrope
+as more suitable on the occasion of a second marriage, and doubtless
+this is so when a widow is not in her first youth. A widow may not, of
+course, wear a bridal veil; she must wear a hat or toque, white or
+coloured, as she pleases. She can have a bouquet, not of white flowers
+only, but mauve or pink, or violets, according to choice. It is quite
+permissible to have a full choral service, and for the church in which
+the ceremony is performed to be decorated with plants and flowers, but
+wedding favours should not be given to the guests at its conclusion.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a Widow has a reception the Newly Married Pair should receive their
+Guests</span> standing together. The bride's mother, or near relative, could
+assist them in receiving. If a luncheon is to be given, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page137" name="page137"></a>[p.137]</span>they
+should lead the way to the dining-room, and sit at the head of the
+table, side by side; but if a reception tea is given, the guests might
+be sent in at the tea hour&mdash;that is to say, told that tea is going on,
+and the bride and bridegroom could follow later should the numbers be
+too great to admit of all going into the tea room at the same time.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">It is quite in Order for a Widow to have a Wedding Cake</span>, but it should
+not be decorated with orange blossoms or with white flowers, merely with
+icing and ornamentations. The display of presents at the marriage of a
+widow is, as a rule, a very restricted one. The bridegroom and the
+bridegroom's family being the principal donors, the presents are seldom
+exhibited. The exception is when a widow has made many new friends, and
+has received wedding presents from them. Presents, when made to a widow
+having a house of her own, are expected to be of substantial value, and
+there is a general reluctance felt to offering her trifles, even if
+expensive ones, such as a girl-bride would appreciate; not so a married
+lady of social standing.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">On arriving at the House</span> where the wedding luncheon or reception is to
+be held, the gentlemen should leave their hats in the hall. The ladies
+should not remove their bonnets or hats at a wedding luncheon or
+reception, neither should the bridesmaids do so.</p>
+
+<p>Gentlemen should take off their gloves at wedding luncheons, but it is
+optional whether ladies do so or not.</p>
+
+<p>At receptions it is optional with both ladies and gentlemen whether they
+take off their gloves or not.</p>
+
+<p>The guests who have not already had an opportunity of speaking to the
+bride and bridegroom, on being ushered into the drawing-room, where the
+company assembles, should shake hands with them, having first gone
+through <span class="pagenum"><a id="page138" name="page138"></a>[p.138]</span>that ceremony with the host and hostess, if they have
+not already done so.</p>
+
+<p>Previous to luncheon being announced the bride's father or mother should
+tell the principal of the gentlemen present whom to take down to
+luncheon. But this only applies to a sit-down luncheon.</p>
+
+<p>At standing-up luncheons the guests are not sent in in couples, but go
+in as they please, even two or three ladies together, and little or no
+precedency, bridal or otherwise, is followed as a general rule.</p>
+
+<p>The luncheon should be served in the dining-room, library, or large
+marquee, as the case may be.</p>
+
+<p>The bride's mother and the bridegroom's mother should take precedence of
+all other ladies present on the occasion of a wedding luncheon.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">At strictly Family Gatherings the Guests should go in to Luncheon in the
+following order:</span>&mdash;The bride and bridegroom. The bride's father with the
+bridegroom's mother. The bridegroom's father with the bride's mother.
+The best man with the head bridesmaid. The remaining bridesmaids with
+the gentlemen who are to take them in to luncheon.</p>
+
+<p>The rest of the company should follow in the wake of the bridesmaids.
+The bride should take the bridegroom's left arm.</p>
+
+<p>Sitting-down luncheons and standing-up luncheons are equally
+fashionable, although the latter are far more general, and little or no
+bridal precedency is observed. When a standing-up luncheon is given,
+small tables are arranged for the convenience of the bridal party on one
+side of the room, while a long table occupies the centre of the room.</p>
+
+<p>When a sitting-down luncheon is given the bride and bridegroom should
+sit either at the head of a long table or at the centre of it&mdash;the bride
+at the bridegroom's left hand. The bride's father should sit next the
+bride with the bridegroom's <span class="pagenum"><a id="page139" name="page139"></a>[p.139]</span>mother. When the bride and
+bridegroom sit at the centre of the table the bridesmaids should sit
+opposite to them with the gentlemen who have taken them in to luncheon;
+each sitting at a gentleman's right hand.</p>
+
+<p>When the bride and bridegroom occupy the head of the table, the
+bridesmaids, with the gentlemen who have taken them in to luncheon,
+should place themselves next the parents on either side of the table,
+dividing their number into two groups.</p>
+
+<p>When the bride's father is dead, her eldest brother or nearest male
+relative should take his place and should take the bridegroom's mother
+in to luncheon.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Wedding Breakfast</span> is now termed a luncheon, champagne and other wines
+take the place of tea and coffee, which beverages are not served until
+towards the end of the luncheon. At weddings which take place at 2.30
+p.m., a luncheon is frequently given at 3, followed by a "tea" at 4.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Luncheon Menu</span> generally comprises soup, entrées both hot and cold;
+chickens, game, mayonnaises, salads, jellies, creams, etc., etc., and
+other dishes of a like character.</p>
+
+<p>The sweets should be placed on the table, fruit also.</p>
+
+<p>The entrées, etc., should be handed by the servants, the sweets should
+also be taken off the table by the men-servants and handed round in
+turn.</p>
+
+<p>At a standing-up luncheon the gentlemen should help the ladies and
+themselves to the various dishes on the table, as dishes are not handed
+at this description of luncheon; hot entrées and soup are not given. The
+menu is in other respects similar.</p>
+
+<p>The tables should be decorated with flowers at either a standing-up or a
+sitting-down luncheon. Bottles of champagne should be placed the length
+of the table at a standing-up luncheon; if not, the gentlemen should ask
+the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page140" name="page140"></a>[p.140]</span>servants in attendance for champagne for the ladies they
+have taken down, and for themselves. At a sitting-down luncheon the
+servants offer champagne to the guests in the same order in which they
+hand the dishes.</p>
+
+<p>When the sweets have been handed the bride should cut the wedding-cake.
+This she does by merely making the first incision with a knife; it
+should then be cut by the butler into small slices, and handed on
+dessert plates to the guests.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Health of the Bride and Bridegroom</span> should then be proposed by the
+most distinguished guest present, for which the bridegroom should return
+thanks. He should then propose the health of the bridesmaids, for which
+the best man should return thanks.</p>
+
+<p>Occasionally the gentleman of highest rank present also proposes this
+health in place of the bridegroom.</p>
+
+<p>The health of the bride's father and mother should be proposed by the
+bridegroom's father.</p>
+
+<p>It is now the custom to confine proposing healths at wedding luncheons
+within the narrowest limits. The health of the bride and bridegroom, and
+that of the bridesmaids being, in general, the only healths proposed.</p>
+
+<p>At standing-up luncheons and at wedding receptions, the health of the
+bride and bridegroom only is proposed.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bride should leave the Dining-room</span> immediately after the healths
+have been drunk, to change her dress for departure.</p>
+
+<p>The head bridesmaid should accompany her, if related to her, and the
+guests should adjourn to the drawing-room to await the bride's
+reappearance, which should not be long delayed, and the adieus should
+then be made. Leave-takings should not be prolonged more than is
+absolutely necessary.</p>
+
+<p>The parents should follow the bride and bridegroom into the hall, and
+adieus to them should there be made.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page141" name="page141"></a>[p.141]</span><span class="subchap">The Old-fashioned Custom</span> of throwing satin slippers after the
+bride is sometimes observed, foolish as it is. It is the best man's or
+the head bridesmaid's privilege to perform this ridiculous act.</p>
+
+<p>When rice is thrown after a bride it should be scattered by the married
+and not by the unmarried ladies present; but the custom, like that of
+throwing the so-called "confetti," is now practically obsolete in good
+society.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Strewing the Bride's Path with Flowers</span> from the church to the carriage
+by village children is a custom much followed at weddings which take
+place in the country.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Honeymoon</span> now seldom lasts longer than a week or ten days. Many
+brides prefer spending their honeymoon in their future home, if it
+happens to be in the country, instead of making a hurried trip to Paris
+or elsewhere, or to spending it at the country house of a friend, lent
+to them for the purpose. But it is entirely a matter of individual
+feeling which course is taken.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bride's Trousseau</span> should be marked with the initials of the name she
+is to take.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bridegroom should provide</span> the house-linen and all other things
+appertaining to the bride's new home.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Wedding Presents</span> should be dispatched to the bride's residence
+immediately after the wedding, and they should at once be put into their
+several places, and not arranged for the purpose of being shown to
+visitors.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bridal Wreath</span> should not be worn after the wedding-day. The bridal
+wreath, the bridal bouquet, and the orange blossoms from the
+wedding-cake, if treasured as <span class="pagenum"><a id="page142" name="page142"></a>[p.142]</span>mementos of the happy event,
+should be preserved in the recesses of a locked drawer in the bride's
+chamber, and not exhibited under glass shades in the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Precedence</span> should not be accorded to a bride during the first three
+months after marriage, although this old-fashioned custom is sometimes
+followed at country dinner-parties on the occasion of a bride's first
+visit.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Custom of sending Wedding Cake</span> to friends is an exploded one, and
+only followed between near relations.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Wedding Cards</span> are, strictly speaking, out of date, and only sent by
+people who adhere to old-fashioned customs.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Words "No Cards"</span> should not be inserted when the announcement of a
+marriage is sent to the newspapers; neither should the intimation be
+added that the bride and bridegroom will be "at home" on certain days.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page143" name="page143"></a>[p.143]</span>CHAPTER XVII</h2>
+<h3>WEDDING RECEPTIONS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">An Afternoon Wedding</span> usually takes place between 2 and 2.30 o'clock, and
+the "reception" that follows is given from 2.30 to 5, on the return from
+the church.</p>
+
+<p>When a wedding is a choral one the choir and clergy frequently head the
+bridal procession. This is arranged with the vicar of the church where
+the marriage is solemnized.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Invitations</span> to wedding receptions are no longer issued on "at home"
+cards, but are included in the invitations to the wedding ceremony
+issued in printed notes. (See <a href="#chap16">Chapter XVI.</a>)</p>
+
+<p>The arrangements in the tea-room, and the refreshments given, should be
+similar to those provided at large afternoon "at homes," with the
+addition of wedding-cake and champagne.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Ceremony</span> is, as far as possible, dispensed with as regards sending the
+guests into the tea-room, and this is a great advantage gained over a
+wedding luncheon, either a sitting-down or a standing-up one, when
+people are doubtful as to the exact place belonging to each individual
+relative.</p>
+
+<p>The bride and bridegroom either enter first, followed by the bridesmaids
+and a few of the principal guests, or they follow later, as they prefer.
+The remainder of the company should make their way downstairs as space
+permits, for a wedding reception is a crowded affair, even in the
+largest of mansions. Not only is every one invited who <span class="pagenum"><a id="page144" name="page144"></a>[p.144]</span>has
+given a wedding present to either bride or bridegroom, within visiting
+distance, but even others who are not intimate enough to be expected to
+do so.</p>
+
+<p>The guests should not make their way in the first instance to the
+tea-room, but should proceed at once to the drawing-room and shake hands
+with the host and hostess, and afterwards with the bride and bridegroom.
+The bride and bridegroom should stand together within the drawing-room
+and shake hands with all those with whom they are acquainted. The bride
+and bridegroom should be the first to enter the tea-room. Flowers, as a
+matter of course, are a great feature at wedding receptions.</p>
+
+<p>The tea and coffee should be served by the maid-servants, generally by
+the lady's maids, but men-servants should also be in attendance to open
+the champagne as required. Very little wine is drunk at this hour of the
+day. Ladies seldom care for it, and gentlemen avoid it on principle.
+Still, out of compliment to the bride, the relatives quaff a cup of
+sparkling wine, although her health is seldom proposed or speeches of
+any kind made. The bride should put the knife into the wedding-cake, and
+the butler should cut it up and hand it to the guests.</p>
+
+<p>Seats should not be placed in the tea-room, and the tables should occupy
+the top or side, or both the top and side, of the room, according to the
+number of guests invited, so as to leave as much space as possible in
+the centre of the room.</p>
+
+<p>The bride and bridegroom are not always present at a wedding tea, as the
+departure for the proposed place of honeymoon does not in every case
+admit of it, and the mother holds the "at home," and the guests inspect
+the presents after the newly-married couple have left.</p>
+
+<p>An "at home" is sometimes given a few days previous to the wedding for
+the inspection of the presents, if they are very numerous and beautiful;
+but even when this is done they still form a centre of interest on the
+afternoon <span class="pagenum"><a id="page145" name="page145"></a>[p.145]</span>of the wedding to the many guests. When jewellery
+and plate to any great extent form a portion of the presents, it is
+sometimes thought necessary to have a policeman on duty while the house
+is open to so many comers, and when to effect an entrance under the
+pretext of business would be an easy matter.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page146" name="page146"></a>[p.146]</span>CHAPTER XVIII</h2>
+<h3>WEDDING EXPENSES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Responsibilities of a Bridegroom</span> from a pecuniary point of view
+commence from the moment of his engagement. He must at once present the
+bride-elect with an engagement ring. A man of even moderate wealth finds
+no difficulty in choosing and purchasing a handsome ring costing from
+<i>£</i>50 to <i>£</i>100; but a poor man, possessing but a small income, is often
+put to more expense than he can conveniently afford in the matter of an
+engagement ring. He knows all the members of the bride's family will sit
+in judgment upon it if it is but a modest gift worth about <i>£</i>10, which
+is quite as much as he feels he is justified in spending; he knows that
+both it and himself will be regarded as very mean, or as conveying a not
+very inspiriting prospect of days to come. The engagement ring worn on
+the bride's finger after marriage is a lasting memento, and if a poor
+one she will not be proud of it&mdash;neither will he. Rich men take the
+brides to choose engagement rings, expense being no object to them; but
+poor men cannot do this, as the choice might fall on gems beyond their
+means, therefore they make the choice themselves, according to the
+position of the families they are about to enter. If the standing is
+above their own, from a money point of view, the engagement rings have
+to be chosen in accordance with the jewels worn by members of such
+families, and a bridegroom would thus spend <i>£</i>40 at least on an
+engagement ring suitable to a lady so placed. <span class="pagenum"><a id="page147" name="page147"></a>[p.147]</span>On the other
+hand, when men with small incomes marry the daughters of parents of a
+similar position to their own, the engagement rings given are not costly
+ones, and a ten-pound note, or even less, would cover the cost of these
+binding tokens. The wedding rings are within the means of all
+bridegrooms, be they ever so poor.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">During the Engagement</span> the question of presents to the brides-elect is
+never absent from the thoughts of their bridegrooms. The wealthy please
+themselves and their brides by giving costly jewels, which are often
+chosen by the brides themselves in company with their bridegrooms. This
+is very delightful shopping, but it does not fall to the lot of the
+great majority. Men of moderate means give presents of moderate value
+and few in number; they are not bound by etiquette during their
+engagements to give any jewellery if their incomes do not warrant this
+outlay; but a man must have very little money to go upon if he cannot
+contrive to give a bracelet or necklet or some such trinket to the girl
+he is about to marry.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">To give Presents to the Bridesmaids</span> is another of the obligations of
+bridegrooms. Here again, the wealthy exercise their generosity and good
+taste with the concurrence of their brides, who assist them in the
+choice of suitable presents in articles of jewellery. These average <i>£</i>5
+and upwards for each bridesmaid, which bring it to a good total when the
+bridesmaids are numerous. The point that affects the generosity of
+bridegrooms, however, is not how much they ought to spend on these
+presents, but rather, how little may be spent upon them with due
+consideration for the fitness of things, viz. the position of the
+bridesmaids. Two sovereigns would be a reasonable sum for a man of small
+means to spend on each gift to the bridesmaid.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page148" name="page148"></a>[p.148]</span><span class="subchap">The Bridal Bouquet and the Bridesmaids' Bouquets</span> come next on
+the list of expenses a bridegroom defrays. Rich men spend liberally in
+this direction, but average sums to give to meet ordinary incomes are
+two guineas to one guinea for a bride's bouquet, and five and twenty to
+fifteen shillings each for the bridesmaids' bouquets.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Fees connected with the Ceremony</span> are strictly the province of the
+bridegroom to defray. If a marriage is by licence, he pays the cost,
+which in town amounts to <i>£</i>2 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>, and in the country from <i>£</i>2
+12<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> to <i>£</i>3 3<i>s.</i> The fee to the vicar of the church where the
+marriage is to be solemnised varies from <i>£</i>1 1<i>s.</i> to <i>£</i>5 5<i>s.</i>,
+oftener <i>£</i>1 1<i>s.</i> than not with the majority of bridegrooms with
+moderate incomes, the exception being <i>£</i>5 5<i>s.</i> The minor fees are very
+trifling that a bridegroom is expected to pay. He pays the organist for
+playing a wedding march at the conclusion of the service, if it is not a
+choral one; the bell-ringers look to him for their fee, as do the
+vergers, etc. Thus a bridegroom pays for what is absolutely necessary at
+the marriage ceremony only, and very little besides.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a Friend of the Bride or Bridegroom performs the Ceremony</span> or
+assists at it a fee is not given to him by the bridegroom, but a present
+of some kind is made to him, either in silver plate or by a small
+cheque, as circumstances dictate, for railway expenses or otherwise. It
+is usual for the bridegroom to do this unless the clergyman in question
+is a relative of the bride, when a joint present is usually given by
+bride and bridegroom.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bride's Parents bear a Large Share of the Wedding Expenses</span>, foremost
+of which is the bride's trousseau, the cost of this being entirely
+dependent on position and income. The dinners and "at homes" given
+before <span class="pagenum"><a id="page149" name="page149"></a>[p.149]</span>the marriage to introduce the bridegroom to the members
+of the bride's family are given by the bride's parents. The wedding
+reception is given by them, either at their own residence or at an
+hotel. As concerns their share of the expenses connected with the
+ceremony, it depends upon whether the wedding is to be a smart one or a
+quiet one. If the former, the expenses that fall to them are somewhat
+considerable; if the latter, they are almost nil. A choral service, for
+instance, is paid for by the bride's parents, the organist, choirmaster,
+and choir all being severally paid by them. If the hymns sung are
+printed on leaflets this trifling expense also is included. All floral
+decorations are paid for by the bride's parents, as is the hire of the
+awning and the red felt at the church doors. When wedding favours or
+buttonholes are given it is by them also.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For whom the Bride's Family are expected to provide Conveyances is
+invariably a Misunderstood Detail.</span>&mdash;The bride's father has only to
+provide carriages or cars to convey himself and bride to the church, and
+for those members of his family residing under his roof, and for
+visitors staying with him for the wedding. He is not required to provide
+them for any other of the guests, save in the country, and then only for
+those who arrive by train at a roadside station and cannot obtain
+conveyances for themselves. In town the bridegroom has to provide the
+motor-car to convey himself and bride from the church to her father's
+house, and afterwards to the station. In the country the reverse is the
+case, and the bride's father does this by lending one of his own
+carriages or cars for the purpose.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Bridegroom is expected to provide the Furniture</span> and all household
+effects for the new home, including plate and linen, which latter
+naturally form very important items. Many of the bridal presents,
+however are made to lighten these expenses, and consist of plate to
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page150" name="page150"></a>[p.150]</span>a great extent, and occasionally of linen also, from the
+members of the bride's family; still, the rule in England is that the
+bridegroom should provide it as part of the necessaries of the home, and
+the gift of it by relatives is altogether optional.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page151" name="page151"></a>[p.151]</span>CHAPTER XIX</h2>
+<h3>AFTERNOON "AT HOMES"</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Afternoon "At Homes"</span> are a great feature amongst the entertainments of
+the day, large afternoon parties, and small afternoon parties; parties
+so large that the number of guests equals those at a big crush or
+evening reception, and so small that they might fairly come under the
+denomination of afternoon teas.</p>
+
+<p>At afternoon "at homes," ladies are present in a considerable majority,
+there being usually from about ten gentlemen to thirty ladies on an
+average present at these gatherings. Ladies have a decided partiality
+for this class of entertainment, as it affords an opportunity for
+meeting their friends and acquaintances, or for making new
+acquaintances, and for forming future plans and interchanging
+civilities; and even in the height of the London season, afternoon "at
+homes" are fully attended by the members of the fashionable world.</p>
+
+<p>There are various classes of afternoon "at homes": the large "at home"
+of from fifty to two hundred guests, when usually professional vocal and
+instrumental talent is engaged, and fairly good music given, although
+the entertainment is not of sufficient importance to be termed a
+concert; the "at home" of from fifty to a hundred guests when only
+amateur talent is in requisition; and the small "at home" of from ten to
+thirty people, when conversation usually takes the place of music, the
+party being composed of friends rather than of acquaintances.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page152" name="page152"></a>[p.152]</span><span class="subchap">Invitations to "At Homes"</span> should be issued in the name of the
+hostess only, and not in the united names of the master and mistress of
+the house.</p>
+
+<p>Invitations should be issued on "at home" cards, large and small, and
+also on visiting cards. The name of the person invited should be written
+at the top of the card at the right-hand corner, the words "at home"
+being printed beneath the name of the lady issuing the invitation, and
+the day and date beneath the words "at home," and the hour beneath the
+date. Any amusement to be given should be added at the bottom of the
+card at the left-hand corner. The address should be printed at the
+right-hand corner at the bottom of the card.</p>
+
+<p>The letters R.S.V.P. are occasionally either written or printed on the
+"at home" card, at the left-hand corner of the bottom of the card, but
+it is not usual to write "R.S.V.P." in the corner of an afternoon "at
+home" card, as it is immaterial how many guests are present at this
+class of entertainment; but if an answer is so requested, an answer
+should be sent. R.S.V.P. signifies "<i>répondez, s'il vous plaît</i>," or "an
+answer is requested."</p>
+
+<p>It is customary to include the head of the family, either husband or
+father, in the invitation. Thus, at the top of the card, at the
+right-hand corner should be written "Mr. and Mrs. A.," or "Mr. and Miss
+A." The daughters of the house should be included in the invitation sent
+to their mother. Thus "Mr. and Mrs. A.," "The Misses A.," but the sons
+of the house should be invited separately.</p>
+
+<p>When a family consists of a mother and daughters, the invitation should
+be "Mrs. and the Misses A."</p>
+
+<p>The title of "Honourable" should not be put on an invitation card, but
+only on the envelope containing the card.</p>
+
+<p>All other titles are recognised on invitation cards; but the letters
+K.C.B., M.P., etc., should not be written on the cards, but only on the
+envelopes in which they are enclosed.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page153" name="page153"></a>[p.153]</span>If a lady is aware that she will be unable to be present, it
+would be polite to send her excuses, although strict etiquette does not
+demand it; both the invitation and the answer can in all cases be sent
+by post.</p>
+
+<p>It is not now considered necessary to leave cards after afternoon "at
+homes."</p>
+
+<p>Invitations to large afternoon "at homes" should be issued a fortnight
+previous to the day, and to small "at homes" within a week or so of the
+day.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Arrival of Guests.</span>&mdash;When invited guests arrive, they should not
+inquire if the hostess is at home, but at once enter the house; and they
+should be ushered at once into the tea-room.</p>
+
+<p>The gentlemen should leave their hats and overcoats in the hall.</p>
+
+<p>At large "at homes" a cloak-room should be provided, so that a lady
+could remove a cloak or fur-cape, usually worn during the winter
+weather; but at small "at homes" a cloak-room is not necessary, as the
+reception-rooms are neither so crowded nor so warm, neither are the
+ladies' toilettes so elaborate.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Refreshments.</span>&mdash;At large "at homes" refreshments should be served in the
+dining-room, on a long buffet at one end of the room, or on a long table
+the length of the room.</p>
+
+<p>The lady's-maids and other maid-servants should stand behind the table
+to pour out and hand the cups of tea or coffee across the table as asked
+for.</p>
+
+<p>It is usual to have women-servants on these occasions to pour out the
+tea, a man-servant or men-servants being also in attendance, in case
+anything is required of them, although gentlemen usually help themselves
+to claret-cup, wine, etc.</p>
+
+<p>The usual refreshments given at these "at homes" are <span class="pagenum"><a id="page154" name="page154"></a>[p.154]</span>tea and
+coffee, the latter served from large silver urns. (See chapter
+"Preparing Afternoon Tea," in the work entitled "Waiting at Table.")
+Sherry, champagne-cup, claret-cup, ices, fruit, fancy biscuits and
+cakes, thin bread-and-butter, potted game, sandwiches, etc.</p>
+
+<p>Ice plates are used for ices, dessert plates for fruit and fruit salads.</p>
+
+<p>At small "at homes" champagne, claret-cup, and ices are not given. The
+tea should be made in teapots, instead of in urns, at both large and
+small "at homes."</p>
+
+<p>At small "at homes" the tea is usually served in the smaller of the two
+drawing-rooms, or in an adjoining boudoir or ante-room. The tea is then
+poured out by the young ladies of the house, or by the hostess herself,
+but seldom by maid-servants when served in the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>The most convenient manner, however, of serving tea is to serve it in
+the dining-room, unless the number of guests is limited, when it would
+appear unsociable if they were to congregate in the dining-room, leaving
+the hostess comparatively alone in the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>When tea is served in the dining-room, the guests are usually asked by
+the servant in attendance if they will have tea before being ushered
+into the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>At small teas, the cups of tea should be handed to the ladies by the
+gentlemen present, or by the young lady officiating at the tea-table,
+and gentlemen generally stand about the room, or near the tea-table, at
+small "at homes."</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Receiving Guests.</span>&mdash;The servant should precede the guests to the
+drawing-room as in "morning calls."</p>
+
+<p>At large "at homes" the hostess should receive her guests at the
+drawing-room door, and shake hands with each on arrival. The
+drawing-room door should remain open, and she should stand within the
+doorway.</p>
+
+<p>At small teas, the drawing-room door should not remain <span class="pagenum"><a id="page155" name="page155"></a>[p.155]</span>open,
+and the hostess should receive her guests within the room, as at
+"morning calls."</p>
+
+<p>The guests should arrive from a quarter-past four until half-past five
+or six o'clock. The guests are not expected to remain the whole three
+hours specified, and are at liberty to remain as long or as short a time
+as they please. The earliest arrivals are generally the first to leave.</p>
+
+<p>When the hostess judges it expedient to do so, she introduces one or two
+of the ladies to each other, either in a formal manner (see <a href="#chap2">Chapter
+II.</a>), or in a semi-formal manner, by saying, "Mrs. A., I don't think you
+know Mrs. B."; but she should not say this unless quite certain that
+Mrs. B. desires the acquaintance of Mrs. A., or that Mrs. A. has no
+objection to knowing Mrs. B.<a name="FNanchor_A_5" id="FNanchor_A_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a></p>
+
+<p>It is rather the exception than the rule to make general introductions
+on these occasions. Introductions should only be made when the hostess
+is aware that the persons introduced would be likely to appreciate each
+other, or for any reason of equal weight.</p>
+
+<p>The guests should go to the tea-room with any gentlemen of their
+acquaintance present, or in the case of ladies with each other, if they
+have not done so on arrival.</p>
+
+<p>This move to the tea-room is usually made in the intervals between
+music, recitations, etc.</p>
+
+<p>Occasionally, the hostess introduces one or two of the gentlemen present
+to the ladies of highest rank for the purpose of sending them into the
+tea-room.</p>
+
+<p>A lady should place her empty cup on any table near at hand, unless a
+gentleman offers to put it down for her. It is optional whether a lady
+removes her gloves or not, and many prefer not to do so.</p>
+
+<p>At large "at homes," the hostess remains at her post the whole of the
+time, and hardly ever sits down. At small <span class="pagenum"><a id="page156" name="page156"></a>[p.156]</span>"at homes," she
+should move amongst her guests, conversing with them all more or less.
+When there are daughters, they should assist their mother in
+entertaining the guests.</p>
+
+<p>When ladies are acquainted, they should take an opportunity of speaking
+to each other. It is usual for ladies to move about the rooms at
+afternoon "at homes" to speak to their various friends and
+acquaintances; and they are by no means obliged to remain seated in one
+spot unless desirous of doing so.</p>
+
+<p>When music is given at afternoon "at homes," it is usual to listen to
+the performance, or at least to appear to do so; and if conversation is
+carried on, it should be in a low tone, so as not to disturb or annoy
+the performers.</p>
+
+<p>It is not necessary to take leave of the hostess at afternoon "at
+homes," unless she is standing near the drawing-room door when the guest
+is passing out, or unless she is a new acquaintance, and the visit a
+first one at her house, when it would be polite to do so.</p>
+
+<p>When it is late, and but a few guests still remain, these few should
+make their adieus to the hostess.</p>
+
+<p>At these afternoon teas or "at homes," the hostess should not ring to
+order the door to be opened for the departing guest or for her motor-car
+to be called, as at "morning calls." The guests make their way to the
+hall, and the servants in attendance call up the motor-cars as they are
+asked for.</p>
+
+<p>Motor-cars should always be kept in waiting at afternoon "at homes," as
+ladies are sometimes unable to remain longer than a quarter of an hour.</p>
+
+<p>The guests either remain in the hall or in the dining-room until they
+hear their motor-cars are announced.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Gratuities</span> should never be offered to servants at these entertainments,
+or, in fact, at any entertainment whatever.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Afternoon Concerts.</span>&mdash;When afternoon concerts are given, invitations
+should be issued on the usual "at home" <span class="pagenum"><a id="page157" name="page157"></a>[p.157]</span>cards, which can be
+purchased with the words "at home," etc., already printed, or they are
+printed to order, with the name and address of the hostess. The name of
+the person invited should be written above the name of the hostess at
+the right-hand corner of the card.</p>
+
+<p>The date under the line "at home" should be in the centre of the card
+beneath the name of the hostess; the hour should be written at the
+left-hand corner, and the letters R.S.V.P. The printed address should be
+at the right-hand corner.</p>
+
+<p>The names of the performers should be added at the bottom of the card at
+the right-hand corner.</p>
+
+<p>The hour usually fixed for a concert is 3 o'clock.</p>
+
+<p>The hostess should receive her guests at the drawing-room door, when
+they should at once seat themselves. The seats should be arranged in
+rows down the centre of the room, and sofas and settees should be placed
+around the room.</p>
+
+<p>The programme of a concert is divided into two parts, and at the
+conclusion of the first part the guests should repair to the dining-room
+for refreshments, which are served as at large "at homes."</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Afternoon Dances.</span>&mdash;Invitations to afternoon dances should be issued on
+"at home" cards in the manner already described. "Dancing" should be
+printed in the corner of cards, and the hour of "4 to 7" o'clock
+substituted for that of "3" o'clock. The words "afternoon dance" should
+not be written on an invitation card, and there is no other received
+form of invitation for afternoon dances than the one already given.</p>
+
+<p>Afternoon dances are very popular at watering-places, military stations,
+small towns in the vicinity of London, etc., but are seldom given in
+London itself.</p>
+
+<p>Refreshments should be served during the whole of the afternoon, from 4
+to 7, as at large "at homes."</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page158" name="page158"></a>[p.158]</span>The ladies should remove their jackets or wraps in the
+cloak-room, but retain their hats or bonnets; the hostess should receive
+her guests at the drawing-room door, as at an afternoon "at home."</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Bridge Teas</span> occupy an important place in social life. They are a
+convenient form of entertainment, as they allow of a small number of
+guests being invited, even as few as eight persons being considered a
+reasonable number of players to invite, while twenty-four is distinctly
+an outside one. The average number is in most instances sixteen, all
+told.</p>
+
+<p>The play usually commences at 3.30, sometimes earlier, and continues
+until 7.30, allowing an interval for "tea" at 4.30.</p>
+
+<p>The invitations to these informal gatherings are either issued in
+friendly notes or on visiting cards. If on the latter, the words "at
+home," day, and date are written under the name of the hostess, while
+"Bridge, 3.30," or "3 o'clock" is put in the corner of the cards
+opposite the address.</p>
+
+<p>The hostess arranges beforehand the places the guests are to occupy at
+the different tables; this is done that the good players may play
+together. When all have arrived, the hostess tells her guests where to
+sit, and is herself one of the players. On taking their seats they cut
+for partners. She does not invite guests to look on, as it would
+necessitate her not playing, but talking to them while they remain;
+besides conversation is discouraged, as it distracts the attention of
+the players from the game.</p>
+
+<p>The ladies retain their hats, but remove their coats, furs, etc., on
+arrival.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page159" name="page159"></a>[p.159]</span>CHAPTER XX</h2>
+<h3>"AT HOME" DAYS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">An "At Home"</span> day signifies that a lady is at home to her friends and
+acquaintances on one particular day in the week. She should intimate
+this fact by printing upon her visiting cards the days on which she is
+at home. Thus: "Thursdays in March," or "Thursdays in March and April,"
+or any day of the week she thinks proper to name. These cards she should
+leave in person on those who are not at home when she calls, or they can
+be sent by post. Those she finds at home she should inform that her "at
+home" day is "Thursday." She should not leave her visiting card in this
+case, only two of her husband's cards, and the "at home" day should not
+be written upon them.</p>
+
+<p>On the "at home" day, calls should be made from three to six, or from
+four to six. The first comers should leave before the afternoon tea hour
+and should limit their call according to the degree of intimacy
+existing, remaining from a quarter of an hour to an hour, as the case
+may be.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Hostess or her Daughter should pour out the Tea</span> on these "at home"
+days when tea is not served in the dining-room as at "at homes," which
+should be done when the number of visitors is very considerable.</p>
+
+<p>The popularity of a hostess is tested on these "at home" days by the
+number of visitors who call during the afternoon, and when "at home"
+days are not a success, socially <span class="pagenum"><a id="page160" name="page160"></a>[p.160]</span>speaking, she should
+discontinue them after a certain time, and should substitute an
+occasional "at home."</p>
+
+<p>It depends not a little on the social standing of the lady who has an
+"at home" day and upon the locality in which she lives, as to whether
+the "at home" day is a failure or the reverse. In the outlying districts
+of town it has its advantages, when to make a call amounts to almost a
+journey, and when acquaintances are few in the immediate neighbourhood.
+Again, it has its advantages when ladies are much occupied during the
+week, and when their time is given up to an engrossing occupation,
+charitable or artistic, at home or away from home, literary or
+scientific, at studios, museums and public institutions, etc., work
+undertaken for their own amusement, profit, or advancement, or for the
+benefit of others. To these ladies an "at home" day is a convenience.
+One day in the week is all they can allow themselves apart from their
+important engagements, and to them quiet privacy and leisure are
+indispensable. Fashionable ladies consider an "at home" day to be a
+great tax upon their time and inclinations. Their engagements are too
+numerous to admit of giving up one whole afternoon in every week on the
+chance of people calling. Not only longstanding but impromptu
+engagements preclude this sacrifice. It would be a breach of politeness
+not to be at home to callers on an "at home" day, and many things might
+occur to necessitate absence from home on that particular afternoon. If,
+however, absence is unavoidable, a relative might take the place of the
+hostess on the "at home" day in question.</p>
+
+<p>The people who thoroughly enjoy "at home" days are those who have more
+time on their hands than they know what to do with. The few calls they
+have to make are soon made, the few friends they have to see are soon
+seen, occupation they have none, and they are grateful for the
+opportunity "at home" days offer of meeting their friends and finding a
+hostess at home.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page161" name="page161"></a>[p.161]</span>CHAPTER XXI</h2>
+<h3>COLONIAL ETIQUETTE</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Generally</span> speaking, etiquette is followed in the colonies and in India
+by English men and women very much as in the mother country as regards
+its principles, rules, and observances. One marked difference occurs in
+the hours of calling, it is true, they being regulated by climate. In
+hot climates, the early morning hours, before noon, and late evening
+hours, after sunset, are, according to the fashion of the place, the
+chosen hours for calling; but in more temperate climes&mdash;resembling our
+own&mdash;the afternoon hours are, as with us, the hours for calling. Again,
+the rule that residents should call upon new-comers, whether they be
+visitors of other residents or intending residents, holds equally good
+both in civilian and military circles alike.</p>
+
+<p>In all colonies and dependencies "Government House" is the centre to
+which all society gravitates&mdash;that is to say, that all new-comers,
+whether they are to become permanent or temporary residents, providing
+their social position warrants the action, hasten to make known their
+arrival by writing their names and addresses in the visitors' book kept
+at each Government House for the purpose. The object of doing this is to
+be received at Government House, and thus to obtain an entrance into the
+society of the place. What follows upon this social observance&mdash;it
+hardly merits the name of civility, such calls being actuated by
+self-interest in the first instance&mdash;depends upon a variety of <span class="pagenum"><a id="page162" name="page162"></a>[p.162]</span>
+circumstances, the position of the caller, and whether the stay is to be
+permanent or temporary, whether introductions are brought or not, and so
+on. The invitations extended to them are regulated accordingly. They may
+be limited to afternoon "at homes"; or receptions, dinners, and dances
+may be included; or a visit to the summer residence of the Governor and
+his wife may also be reckoned amongst invitations, as this latter is not
+an unusual display of hospitality accorded to certain individuals.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">How the Governor of a Colony should be addressed</span> by his guests depends
+upon his rank. As he represents the sovereign, it would be quite correct
+to address him as "Sir," as being the most deferential mode, and
+Governors as a body rather like to be thus addressed. In the case of a
+Governor being a knight&mdash;a very usual contingency&mdash;it would be equally
+correct to address him as "Sir George," and not as "Sir." When a
+Governor has not received knighthood, he should be addressed as "Mr.
+A&mdash;&mdash;," when it is not desired to be too stiff and formal.</p>
+
+<p>In conversation, when referring to the Governor&mdash;he being present&mdash;it
+should not be "The Governor," but "Lord Blank," "Sir George," or "Mr.
+A&mdash;&mdash; said so and so," unless strangers are present, before whom it
+would seem right to be a little formal.</p>
+
+<p>In addressing a Governor by letter, the envelope should be directed to
+"His Excellency Sir George Blank," however friendly its contents may be;
+but when writing to a Governor's wife, it has not been thought right to
+style her "Her Excellency," but simply "Lady Blank," unless in the case
+of a Viceroy's wife, as in India or Ireland; but as against this the
+point was raised some years ago, and it was then decided that the wives
+of Governors were entitled to be so addressed.</p>
+
+<p>Colloquially, the members of a Governor's suite refer to both the
+Governor and his wife as "His" and "Her <span class="pagenum"><a id="page163" name="page163"></a>[p.163]</span>Excellency," and style
+them "Your Excellency," and all who approach them officially, being of
+inferior rank, do likewise; but socially they are seldom so addressed.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Colonial Bishop</span> should not actually be styled "My Lord," or referred
+to as "The Lord Bishop," if it is desired to be quite correct; but "My
+Lord" or "The Lord Bishop" is now often used by persons who know it is
+not the proper style of address, but make use of these titles, wishing
+to be more deferential than scrupulously correct. In writing to a
+colonial bishop, the envelope should be addressed to "The Right Rev. the
+Bishop of &mdash;&mdash;," and the letter commenced "Right Rev. Sir" or "Dear
+Bishop Blank."</p>
+
+<p>A colonial officer who has received the King's special permission to
+retain the title of "Honourable" which he bore in his colony, is
+accorded at Court, <i>i.e.</i> at a levée, Court ball, etc., the same
+precedence as a peer's son, who is styled "Honourable," but this does
+not practically give him any rank or precedence at ordinary social
+gatherings, where that special grant is unknown or ignored. Also the
+privilege confers no rank or precedence upon the wife or daughters of a
+colonial Honourable, just as the wife of a Right Honourable here has no
+special precedence.</p>
+
+<p>The title of Honourable cannot continue to be borne by a retired
+colonial officer or Legislative Councillor unless it has been specially
+authorised by the sovereign on the recommendation of the Secretary of
+State for the Colonies.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page164" name="page164"></a>[p.164]</span>CHAPTER XXII</h2>
+<h3>INDIAN ETIQUETTE</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">It</span> is the custom that those who wish to be invited to Government House
+(Viceregal House) at Simla, or elsewhere, should, immediately on
+arrival, write their names in the visitors' book kept for that purpose,
+and they are sure, if in general society, to be asked to one or more of
+the receptions held during the season. They are introduced to the
+Vice-Queen&mdash;as the wife of the Viceroy is termed&mdash;by one of the
+<i>aides-de-camp</i> in waiting.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is the wife of a Government official, it gives her a
+position in society in India which perhaps she would not otherwise have,
+and is in itself a passport to most functions. Official rank is
+everything in India.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards attending the Viceregal Drawing-rooms</span>, they are only held in
+Calcutta and in the evening. If a lady has been presented at a Court in
+England, she can attend a Drawing-room in Calcutta; but, if she has not
+been presented at home, she must be introduced by some other lady who
+has been presented at the Viceregal Court.</p>
+
+<p>In writing unofficially to the Governor-General of India, it would not
+be correct to use the title of "Viceroy," and the proper superscription
+is "His Excellency The Right Hon."; or, if a Duke, "His Excellency The
+Duke of &mdash;&mdash;"; or, if a Marquis, "His Excellency The Most Honble.
+Marquis of &mdash;&mdash;," etc.</p>
+
+<p>To the wife of a Viceroy the address should be "Her <span class="pagenum"><a id="page165" name="page165"></a>[p.165]</span>Excellency
+the Duchess of &mdash;&mdash;," "Her Excellency The Marchioness of &mdash;&mdash;," "Her
+Excellency The Countess of &mdash;&mdash;"; or "Her Excellency The Lady Blank," if
+the wife of a Baron.</p>
+
+<p>When addressing a Viceroy or Vice-Queen colloquially or unofficially,
+"Your Excellency" should not be used in either case. The title only in
+both instances should be employed.</p>
+
+<p>On being introduced to either of their Excellencies, it would be correct
+to curtsy.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page166" name="page166"></a>[p.166]</span>CHAPTER XXIII</h2>
+<h3>GARDEN-PARTIES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Garden-parties</span> are entertainments that are annually given. If the
+weather is fine, the more enjoyable it is for the guests; if wet, a
+garden-party resolves itself into a large "at home." In almost every
+county a series of garden-parties is held by the principal ladies of
+their respective neighbourhoods during August and September, nothing but
+absence from home, illness, or some equally good reason being considered
+sufficient excuse for the non-fulfilment of this social duty.</p>
+
+<p>The county at large expects to be invited at least once a year to roam
+about in the beautiful park of the lord of the manor, to row on the
+lake, to play lawn-tennis on the lawn, to wander through the winding
+paths of the shady, leafy shrubberies, to admire the brilliant hues of
+the geraniums bedded out on parterre and terrace, or the variegated
+asters, or the late Gloire-de-Dijon roses, which at the end of August
+are in their fullest beauty. Then there are the conservatories through
+which to saunter, and from which to beat a retreat, if the sun is too
+powerful, into the mansion itself, the reception-rooms being generally
+thrown open on the occasion of a garden-party.</p>
+
+<p>A garden-party is an occasion for offering hospitality to a wide range
+of guests&mdash;people whom it would not be convenient to entertain save at
+this description of gathering. Invitations are on these occasions freely
+accorded to ladies, from the energetic lady of eighty to the little lady
+of eight.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page167" name="page167"></a>[p.167]</span>One great advantage offered by a garden-party is that it is
+immaterial to what extent ladies are in the majority, and it is a
+reproach to a county rather than to a hostess if the muster of guests is
+eighty ladies against twenty gentlemen.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Invitations to a Garden-party</span> should be issued in the name of the
+hostess, and within three weeks to a week of the date fixed. "At home"
+cards should be used for this purpose, and the words "and party" should
+be invariably added after the names of the invited guests.</p>
+
+<p>"Croquet" or "Tennis" should be printed in one corner of the card, the
+hour, 3 to 7 o'clock, above, the day and the date beneath the name of
+hostess. "Weather permitting" is seldom written upon the card, and the
+guests are expected to arrive even though the afternoon should be
+showery and overcast, and only a thoroughly wet afternoon, with no break
+between the showers, should prevent their appearing. In the country,
+ladies think little of a drive of ten miles to attend a garden-party.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Arrangements for Garden-Parties.</span>&mdash;Garden-parties or croquet-parties are
+given on different scales of expenditure, and the preparations are
+regulated accordingly.</p>
+
+<p>When a garden-party is given on a small scale, and the preparations are
+comparatively few, refreshments should be served in the house. (For the
+usual refreshments provided, and for the general arrangements, see work
+entitled "Waiting at Table," p. 82.)</p>
+
+<p>A good supply of garden-chairs and seats should be placed on the lawn
+and about the grounds, rugs spread on the grass for those who sit out,
+and several sets of croquet provided for players.</p>
+
+<p>At large garden-parties a band is considered a necessary adjunct, and
+the band of the regiment quartered in the vicinity is usually available
+for these occasions.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page168" name="page168"></a>[p.168]</span>A band gives <i>éclat</i> to an out-door gathering and confers local
+importance upon it. Apart from this, the strains of a band enliven an
+entertainment of this description in no little degree. The place where
+the band is stationed is a rallying-point for the company, and the
+expense and trouble consequent upon engaging a band are repaid by the
+amusement it affords.</p>
+
+<p>The matter of engaging a military band is generally undertaken by the
+master of the house, rather than by the mistress, as, in the first
+place, the consent of the colonel of the regiment has to be obtained as
+a matter of form and courtesy before the arrangements are completed with
+the bandmaster.</p>
+
+<p>Conveyance for the band has also to be provided and discussed with the
+bandmaster, and also refreshments for the bandsmen; and these details
+are more effectually carried out by a host than by a hostess.</p>
+
+<p>Occasionally a large marquee is erected in which to serve refreshments,
+but more frequently the refreshments for the general company are served
+in the house, and only cool drinks dispensed in a tent to the cricketers
+or lawn-tennis players.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Cricket-matches</span> are often the <i>raison d'être</i> of a garden-party,
+rendering it popular with both ladies and gentlemen. The cricket-match
+in this case generally takes place in a field near to the grounds of the
+mansion, the match commencing about twelve o'clock, and the general
+company arriving about half-past three, or punctually at four, to
+witness the finish.</p>
+
+<p>Golf now ranks first amongst fashionable outdoor amusements with both
+sexes. Private links are comparatively few, but club links exist in
+almost every neighbourhood&mdash;ladies' clubs, men's clubs, and clubs for
+both ladies and gentlemen.</p>
+
+<p>Croquet or tennis tournaments are frequently the occasion <span class="pagenum"><a id="page169" name="page169"></a>[p.169]</span>of
+giving garden-parties, and some very exciting play takes place.</p>
+
+<p>When a tournament is held it takes the form of a garden-party; it
+usually lasts two days. The arrangements made for holding it depend upon
+circumstances, and it takes place, as do archery-matches, in either
+private or public grounds.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Amusements.</span>&mdash;When a number of children are expected at a garden-party,
+performances of marionettes, or Punch-and-Judy, or conjuring are given
+for their amusement.</p>
+
+<p>In districts remote from town, these shows are difficult to obtain;
+therefore amateur showmen come bravely to the rescue, and their kindly
+efforts to divert the juveniles meet with due appreciation on all sides.</p>
+
+<p>Not seldom a little amateur music is given at a garden-party&mdash;not a
+pre-arranged programme of music, but impromptu performances. These
+good-natured efforts to enliven the company occupy about an hour, and
+such performances take place in either the drawing-room or music-room of
+the mansion.</p>
+
+<p>Garden-parties seldom terminate with a dance, though occasionally
+dancing closes the afternoon's amusements.</p>
+
+<p>The time occupied by croquet or tennis precludes all desire on the part
+of the players for further exertion in the shape of dancing, and young
+people apparently prefer playing croquet from 3 to 7 on the lawn to
+dancing in a marquee or in the drawing-room at that hour.</p>
+
+<p>A host and hostess receive their guests at a garden-party on the lawn;
+strangers should be introduced to the hostess by those who have
+undertaken to bring them to her house, and she should shake hands with
+all comers. It is also usual for guests to shake hands with the hostess
+on departure, if opportunity offers for so doing.</p>
+
+<p>Garden-parties commence from 3.30 to 4 o'clock, and terminate at 7
+o'clock.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page170" name="page170"></a>[p.170]</span>In making preparations for a garden-party, stabling for the
+carriage-horses and motor-cars of the numerous guests should be taken
+into consideration, and refreshments provided for the men-servants and
+chauffeurs.</p>
+
+<p>Public afternoon concerts, bazaars, and flower-shows are essentially
+functions frequented by ladies <i>en masse</i>, and it is the exception,
+rather than the rule, for gentlemen to accompany them; again, at private
+afternoon gatherings, ladies usually appear unaccompanied by gentlemen.</p>
+
+<p>When a garden-party is a very large function, it is not unusual to put
+the words "garden-party" on the invitation cards in place of the words
+"at home"; thus: "The Countess of A&mdash;&mdash; requests the pleasure of Mr. and
+Mrs. B&mdash;&mdash;'s company at a garden-party on&mdash;&mdash;," etc.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page171" name="page171"></a>[p.171]</span>CHAPTER XXIV</h2>
+<h3>TOWN GARDEN-PARTIES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> first garden-parties in town are usually given early in June, and
+continue during this and the ensuing month. The garden-parties at
+Lambeth Palace and Fulham Palace are the pioneers of the garden-party
+season, and the lead is followed by general society with more or less
+alacrity.</p>
+
+<p>Town garden-parties resolve themselves into large receptions held
+out-of-doors, and those who know what crowded drawing-rooms imply in the
+sultry days of June are particularly glad of this change of <i>locale</i>,
+and willingly spend an hour or more at one of these out-of-door
+<i>réunions</i>, instead of thinking a quarter of an hour's stay all too long
+within doors, where it is a case of heat <i>versus</i> draught, and difficult
+to determine where it is the most objectionable, in the drawing-room,
+tea-room, or on a staircase. Although these functions are designated
+"garden-parties," yet the real style and title is "at homes," the
+address being sufficient indication to the invited guests as to the
+description of entertainment to be given, as the spacious gardens and
+lawns in and around London where these annual parties are held are well
+known to society at large. A band playing in the grounds where the
+garden-party is given would appear to be a <i>sine quâ non</i>, but the
+excellence of the same is merely a question of expense. Thus guests have
+the pleasure of listening to the strains of splendid bands, and also the
+disappointment of hearing others far below the average.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page172" name="page172"></a>[p.172]</span>As this fickle climate of ours is not to be counted upon for
+twenty-four hours at a stretch to remain fine, it is seldom considered
+advisable to have the whole of the refreshment tables out-of-doors, and
+thus only ices, strawberries and cream, and ice cups are served
+out-of-doors; tea, coffee, and the rest, with ices, strawberries and
+cream, being invariably served within doors.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Refreshment tables out-of-doors</span> considerably take off the strain from
+the tables in the tea-rooms, especially during the first half-hour, when
+the great rush is made in this direction. Again, should heavy rain set
+in, the servants can easily remove pails of ice and bowls of
+strawberries and cream out of harm's way. Even a large tent or marquee
+is not considered altogether desirable for refreshments, as under a
+burning sun the air within becomes over-heated and oppressive, while in
+the case of a downpour the results are almost disastrous.</p>
+
+<p>The popularity of garden-parties is incontestible in propitious weather.
+A variety of reasons conduce to this; for one thing, movement is so
+pleasant an exchange from the almost stationary position guests are
+compelled to take up in a crowded drawing-room. Again, the number of
+guests invited is so much greater than to an "at home," that the chance
+of meeting a corresponding number of friends and acquaintances is
+trebled; or, on the other hand, if but a few friends should be present
+among the guests, yet the situation does not amount to isolation and
+boredom; and the alternative of sitting under a shady tree or sauntering
+about on the lawns listening to the strains of the band, is positive
+enjoyment in comparison to sitting in the corner of a drawing-room
+barricaded by a phalanx of ladies, or standing wedged in the midst of
+the same. It is small wonder, therefore, that invitations to these
+outdoor functions are hailed with satisfaction and pleasure.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page173" name="page173"></a>[p.173]</span><span class="subchap">Arrivals at a garden-party</span> are made almost simultaneously, or
+if not quite this, they follow in rapid succession, so that host and
+hostess have a short interval between arrivals and departures; and this
+offers an opportunity to give more than a shake of the hand to many of
+the guests, <i>i.e.</i> a little friendly conversation; while at an "at home"
+the hostess has to be at her post from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., as guests
+arrive continuously, even close up to the hour named for departure.</p>
+
+<p>The host is expected to be present at a garden-party, and almost always
+is so; but his presence at his wife's "at home" is left a little
+doubtful, and his absence is often accounted for on the ground of its
+being unavoidable; but the trivial reasons that many men advance to
+their wives for their non-appearance prove how glad they are to escape
+from the ordeal on any terms. A man in the open air is at his best, and
+therefore a garden-party appeals to a host almost as much as it does to
+a guest.</p>
+
+<p>Although the words "at home" are in general use when issuing invitations
+to these functions, yet occasionally the words "garden-party" are
+substituted in lieu of them on the "at home" cards, when the gatherings
+are unusually large; thus: "Viscountess B&mdash;&mdash; requests the pleasure of
+Mr. and Mrs. G&mdash;&mdash;'s company at a garden-party on&mdash;&mdash;," etc.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page174" name="page174"></a>[p.174]</span>CHAPTER XXV</h2>
+<h3>EVENING GARDEN-PARTIES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Garden-Party Season</span> has been widened out by the introduction of
+"Evening Garden-Parties" into the list of country festivities, and this
+form of entertainment has found great favour with all.</p>
+
+<p>Invitations are issued on the usual "at home" cards, the hours from 9 to
+12 p.m. Occasionally "dancing" is printed on the cards, but not often,
+as it is not usual to combine an evening garden-party with a dance,
+except when only young girls and young men are invited.</p>
+
+<p>Some little perplexity is felt by the recipients of evening garden-party
+invitations as to the style of dress that should be worn. Should ladies
+wear morning dress or evening dress? Men are equally in doubt on this
+point. Ought they to wear evening dress or not? Although this is not
+stated on the invitation cards, yet it is tacitly understood that ladies
+are expected to appear in the usual garden-party attire&mdash;smart, pretty
+dresses and hats or bonnets, and small fashionable wraps carried in
+place of sunshades in the event of the evening air proving somewhat
+chilly. Evening dress, when worn at one of these "at homes," looks
+particularly out of place. The thin evening shoes, which must of
+necessity be worn with this style of dress, suit neither dewy grass nor
+stony gravel; and although at the evening concerts at the Botanic
+Gardens many ladies wear "evening dress" with smart evening cloaks, this
+is beside the question. They go for a short half-hour or so, not for a
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page175" name="page175"></a>[p.175]</span>three hours' stay. Anyhow, at evening garden-parties, the rule
+is not to wear evening dress as far as ladies are concerned. Men, on the
+other hand, one and all, are expected to do so, morning dress being
+looked upon as out of place on these occasions. A light overcoat is
+inseparable from evening dress, therefore it is not considered risky
+wear for men even on the chilliest of summer evenings.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As to the arrangements</span> for one of these evening garden-parties. It is
+usual to have tea and coffee, and light refreshments during the whole of
+the evening, from arrival to departure, and to give a light supper a
+little before twelve o'clock. The gardens and grounds are illuminated
+with coloured lamps and lanterns, extensively or moderately, as the case
+may be. A band is considered indispensable, but a good one does not seem
+to be equally imperative, to judge from the indifferent performances of
+various bands heard on these summer evenings. However, country audiences
+are not too critical, knowing that to engage a good band from a distance
+entails considerable expense, and that evening garden-parties would be
+singularly few if superior music was insisted upon. Thus the local band
+is encouraged to do its best, and to allow long intervals to elapse
+between each selection.</p>
+
+<p>In the case of an evening turning out decidedly wet, guests invited from
+a distance seldom put in an appearance, while the nearer neighbours do
+so, and the evening garden-party becomes an evening reception within
+doors, shorn of its numbers, it is true, but a pleasant gathering,
+nevertheless, especially with those who know how to make the best of a
+<i>contretemps</i> caused by unpropitious weather.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page176" name="page176"></a>[p.176]</span>CHAPTER XXVI</h2>
+<h3>LUNCHEONS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Invitations to Luncheon</span> are very much the order of the day in
+fashionable society. Those who look back some few years remark the
+importance now accorded to this midday meal, and contrast it with the
+past. The lateness of the dinner-hour in a measure accounts for the
+position now taken by luncheon in the day's programme, joined to the
+fact that it offers another opportunity for social gatherings; and as
+the prevailing idea seems to be to crowd into one day as much amusement
+and variety and change as possible, invitations to luncheon have become
+one of the features of social life.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Invitations to Public Luncheons</span> are not now confined to the celebration
+of local and civic events, but take a far wider range, and are given on
+every available opportunity when the occasion can be made to serve for
+assembling a large party of ladies and gentlemen. Luncheon is by some
+considered to be rather a lady's meal than not, although in reality
+invitations are given as frequently to the one sex as to the other. Yet
+the predominance of ladies at luncheon is due to the fact that the
+majority of gentlemen are too much occupied at this hour to be at
+liberty to accept invitations to luncheon, while others, more idle,
+breakfast at so late an hour that to them a two o'clock luncheon is a
+farce as far as eating is concerned. Outside of those who are busy men
+and those who are idle men, and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page177" name="page177"></a>[p.177]</span>consequently late risers,
+there is another semi-occupied class of men who are always amenable to
+an invitation to luncheon.</p>
+
+<p>This institution of luncheon is invaluable to people who have many
+friends, acquaintances, and relations to entertain, as invitations to
+this meal are given for every day in the week, with or without ceremony,
+with long notice or short notice, or on the spur of the moment.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies enjoy the society of their hostess at luncheon far more than at a
+dinner-party. At the former meal she makes general conversation with her
+guests on both sides of the table; at the latter she is monopolised by
+her immediate neighbours, by the gentleman who takes her down to dinner,
+and by the one who sits at her right hand, while she leaves her guests
+to be entertained by the gentlemen who take them in to dinner. At
+luncheon things are different; there is no going in to luncheon,
+conventionally speaking, save on official and public occasions.</p>
+
+<p>Luncheon occupies a prominent place in the round of hospitalities.
+Invitations to luncheon are not formally issued on invitation cards,
+unless some especial reason exists for giving a large luncheon-party, in
+which case it takes rank as an entertainment.</p>
+
+<p>Large luncheon-parties are given on occasions such as lawn-tennis
+tournaments and lawn-tennis parties, archery-parties, cricket matches
+and bazaars, etc.</p>
+
+<p>Semi-official luncheons are given on the occasion of laying the
+foundation-stone of a church or public building, etc. This class of
+luncheon is beside the question, as it is rather a banquet than a
+luncheon, for which printed cards of invitation are issued.</p>
+
+<p>In general society invitations to luncheon are issued by written notes
+or are verbally given according to circumstances.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Invitations to Luncheon.</span>&mdash;A week's notice is the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page178" name="page178"></a>[p.178]</span>longest
+usually given, very little notice being considered requisite.</p>
+
+<p>Many hostesses give their friends <i>carte blanche</i> invitations to
+luncheon; but ladies as a rule seldom avail themselves of this <i>façon de
+parler</i>, as they consider it, and prefer to await a more direct form of
+invitation. Gentlemen, on the contrary, are expected to avail themselves
+of this proffered hospitality without ceremony, as the presence of a
+gentleman visitor at luncheon is considered an acquisition, the reason,
+perhaps, being that ladies are usually in the majority at luncheon, and
+also that the unexpected arrival of one or two ladies would call for a
+greater amount of attention on the part of a hostess seated at luncheon
+than would the unexpected arrival of gentlemen, ladies requiring
+especial attention to be shown to them in the matter of a place at
+table, etc., while gentlemen are ready to offer attention instead of
+requiring it, and to take any place at table, whether convenient or
+otherwise.</p>
+
+<p>As a rule, the number of ladies present at luncheon greatly exceeds the
+number of gentlemen present, unless at a luncheon-party, when a hostess
+usually endeavours to equalise the numbers as far as possible; but it is
+not imperative for her to do this, and it is immaterial whether there
+are as many gentlemen as ladies present at luncheon or not.</p>
+
+<p>Luncheon is a very useful institution to a mistress of a house, as it
+enables her to show a considerable amount of civility to her friends and
+acquaintances.</p>
+
+<p>She can invite to luncheon those it might not, for various reasons, be
+convenient to invite to dinner; as for instance, young ladies, single
+ladies, elderly ladies, ladies coming to town, or into the neighbourhood
+for a few days only, and so on.</p>
+
+<p>The usual rule in houses where there are children old enough to do so,
+is for the children to dine at luncheon with their governess, whether
+there are guests present or not.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page179" name="page179"></a>[p.179]</span><span class="subchap">In Town the Usual Hour for Luncheon</span> is 1.30 to 2 o'clock; in
+the country it is generally half an hour earlier. The guests are
+expected to arrive within ten minutes of the hour named in the
+invitation, as although punctuality is not imperative, it is very
+desirable.</p>
+
+<p>A guest, on his or her arrival at a house, should not, if previously
+invited, inquire if the mistress of the house is at home, but should
+say, on the servant opening the door, "Mrs. A. expects me to luncheon."</p>
+
+<p>When the guests are self-invited, they should inquire if the mistress of
+the house is at home.</p>
+
+<p>Guests are conducted to the drawing-room before luncheon. The servant
+precedes them, as at morning calls.</p>
+
+<p>When guests arrive after the hour named for luncheon, they should be at
+once ushered into the dining-room, and their names announced.</p>
+
+<p>When the guests are unacquainted with each other, the hostess should
+make a sort of general introduction or introductions; that is to say,
+she should introduce one gentleman to two or three ladies, thus, "Mr.
+A., Mrs. B., Mrs. C., and Miss D.," making but one introduction in place
+of three separate introductions, this being the less formal mode of
+making unimportant introductions.</p>
+
+<p>It is not always possible for a host to be present at luncheon, owing to
+occupation and engagements, but courtesy to his wife's guests demands
+his presence when practicable. He should either join them in the
+drawing-room or in the dining-room, according to his convenience.</p>
+
+<p>Guests are not sent in to luncheon as they are to dinner.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies should not remove their hats at luncheon. They should remove
+their fur coats and wraps. These should either be left in the hall on
+arrival or taken off in the drawing-room or dining-room. Short gloves
+should be removed; elbow gloves may be retained.</p>
+
+<p>Gentlemen should not take their hats with them into the drawing-room,
+but should leave them in the hall.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page180" name="page180"></a>[p.180]</span>Ten minutes is the usual time allowed between the arrival of
+the guests and serving luncheon, which is usually served at the hour
+named, the received rule being not to wait for guests.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Going in to Luncheon.</span>&mdash;When the luncheon gong sounds the hostess should
+say to the lady of highest rank present, "Shall we go in to luncheon?"
+or some such phrase. (See "The Art of Conversing.") The visitor should
+then move towards the door. If the host is present, he should walk
+beside her; if not, the hostess should do so. The other ladies should
+follow as far as possible according to precedency, the gentlemen going
+last. Thus the hostess either follows with the ladies or leads the way.</p>
+
+<p>Guests should not go in to luncheon arm-in-arm as at a dinner-party, but
+singly, each lady by herself, or, when space permits, side by side.
+Gentlemen likewise, but on arriving in the dining-room, each gentleman
+should place himself by the side of a lady, or between two ladies, at
+table.</p>
+
+<p>The hostess should sit at the top of the table and the host at the
+bottom, as at dinner, but it is immaterial where the guests sit,
+although as a rule the lady of highest rank sits by the host, and the
+gentleman of highest rank by the hostess.</p>
+
+<p>A late arrival should, on being ushered into the dining-room, make his
+or her way to the top of the table to shake hands with the hostess,
+making some polite excuse for being late.</p>
+
+<p>A hostess should rise from her seat to welcome a lady, but she should
+not do so to welcome a gentleman.</p>
+
+<p>Luncheon is either served <i>à la Russe</i> or not, according to inclination,
+both ways being in equally good taste, although, as a rule, the joint is
+served from the <i>buffet</i> or side-table, while the <i>entrées</i>, game, or
+poultry are placed on the table.</p>
+
+<p>For further information respecting the arrangements for luncheon, see
+the work entitled "Waiting at Table."</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page181" name="page181"></a>[p.181]</span>Formerly it was the custom in some houses for the servants to
+leave the dining-room as soon as they had helped the various guests to
+the joint or joints, and handed round the vegetables and the wine, in
+which case the host and hostess helped the guests to the <i>entrées</i> and
+sweets, or the gentlemen present did so; but now it is invariably the
+rule for the servants to remain in the room during the whole of
+luncheon, and to hand the dishes and wine, etc., to the guests as at
+dinner-parties.</p>
+
+<p>Luncheon usually lasts about half an hour, during which time the hostess
+should endeavour to render conversation general.</p>
+
+<p>As at dinner, it is the duty of a hostess to give the signal for leaving
+the room, which she does by attracting the attention of the lady of
+highest rank present by means of a smile and a bow, rising at the same
+time from her seat.</p>
+
+<p>The host, or the gentleman nearest the door, should open it for the
+ladies to pass out.</p>
+
+<p>The ladies should leave the dining-room as far as possible in the order
+in which they have entered it, the hostess following last.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When the host is not present</span>, the gentlemen should follow the ladies to
+the drawing-room; but when the host is present, the gentlemen should
+remain in the dining-room with the host a short time before joining the
+ladies in the drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>It is optional on the part of the host whether he returns or not with
+the gentlemen to the drawing-room, although, if not particularly
+engaged, it is more courteous to do so.</p>
+
+<p>Coffee is sometimes served after luncheon in the drawing-room. It is
+handed on a salver immediately after luncheon. The most usual way now,
+however, is to have coffee brought into the dining-room at the
+conclusion of luncheon, and handed to the guests on a salver.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page182" name="page182"></a>[p.182]</span>The guests are not expected to remain longer than twenty
+minutes after the adjournment to the drawing-room has been made.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies should put on their gloves on their return to the drawing-room
+after luncheon.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies having motor-cars should previously desire their chauffeurs to
+return for them from three to a quarter-past three o'clock, and the
+servant should inform each guest of the arrival of her motor-car.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady requires a cab, she should ask the hostess's permission to
+have one called for her.</p>
+
+<p>The subject of leave-taking is fully described in <a href="#chap4">Chapter IV.</a></p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page183" name="page183"></a>[p.183]</span>CHAPTER XXVII</h2>
+<h3>BREAKFASTS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Breakfast Parties</span> have in certain circles become a feature, and
+invitations to breakfast are issued both by card and by note.</p>
+
+<p>In official circles breakfast parties are frequently given, the morning
+hours up to one o'clock being the only disengaged portion of the day,
+and thus the opportunity is taken for offering and receiving
+hospitality, and of enjoying the society of friends and acquaintances.
+The breakfast hour varies from ten to eleven, according to
+circumstances, and the meal somewhat resembles a luncheon, fish,
+<i>entrées</i>, game, and cold viands being given, with the addition of tea,
+coffee, and liqueurs.</p>
+
+<p>Punctuality on these occasions is almost imperative, as breakfast cannot
+be prolonged beyond a given limit, and therefore it is not considered
+necessary to wait the coming of a late guest.</p>
+
+<p>The guests go in to breakfast as to luncheon. When a party consists of
+both ladies and gentlemen, the hostess should lead the way with the lady
+of highest rank, followed by the other ladies, the gentlemen following
+with the host.</p>
+
+<p>When a party consists of gentlemen only, the host should lead the way
+with the gentleman of highest rank, and should indicate to the principal
+of the gentlemen present the places he wishes them to occupy at table;
+the remainder <span class="pagenum"><a id="page184" name="page184"></a>[p.184]</span>of the company should seat themselves according
+to inclination.</p>
+
+<p>The table should be laid as for luncheon, and decorated with flowers and
+fruit. Tea and coffee should be served from a side table by the servants
+in attendance.</p>
+
+<p>All dishes should be handed as at luncheon.</p>
+
+<p>For the details of "Breakfast-table Arrangements and Serving Breakfast,"
+see the work entitled "Waiting at Table."</p>
+
+<p>The guests usually leave as soon as breakfast is over, unless the ladies
+are invited by the hostess to accompany her to the drawing-room, or the
+gentlemen are invited by the host to smoke a cigarette or cigar previous
+to their departure.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">House Party Breakfasts.</span>&mdash;In the country the breakfast hour varies from 9
+to 10.30, and in some country houses it is an understood thing that the
+guests are at liberty to come down to breakfast at any time between nine
+and half-past ten. In not a few country houses the hostess and the
+ladies breakfast in their own rooms, and the gentlemen of the party
+breakfast with the host in the breakfast-room.</p>
+
+<p>The breakfast gong is a signal for assembling in the breakfast-room or
+dining-room, but it is not the custom to wait for any one beyond five or
+ten minutes.</p>
+
+<p>The host and hostess at once take their places at the breakfast-table.</p>
+
+<p>When the house-party is a large one, and space permits, a number of
+small tables should be arranged in the breakfast-room, in addition to a
+long breakfast-table.</p>
+
+<p>The servants should remain in attendance during breakfast to wait upon
+the guests.</p>
+
+<p>There is no general move made from the breakfast table as in the case of
+luncheon or dinner; the hostess generally remains until the whole of the
+guests have at least commenced breakfast, save in the case of very late
+comers, for <span class="pagenum"><a id="page185" name="page185"></a>[p.185]</span>whom she would not be expected to remain at the
+head of the breakfast-table.</p>
+
+<p>The guests leave the breakfast-table as soon as they have finished
+breakfast, without waiting for any intimation from the hostess to do so.</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page186" name="page186"></a>[p.186]</span>CHAPTER XXVIII</h2>
+<h3>PICNICS AND WATER-PARTIES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Many</span> things contribute to draw people into the country and away from
+town in the month of September; therefore there is a far larger number
+in each and every neighbourhood inclined for a picnic or a water-party
+than in the three previous months, June, July, and August.</p>
+
+<p>Picnic parties are sometimes invitation parties, and on other occasions
+contribution parties, or parties which partake in a measure of the
+character of both.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Picnics by Motor Car and Picnics by Rail.</span>&mdash;Almost every county has its
+show place, or its ruins, its ruined abbey or its castle, its romantic
+scenery, and its fine views, its hills or its dales, its waterfalls or
+its glens. The southern and western counties are as rich in these
+respects as the eastern counties are barren.</p>
+
+<p>When a picnic party is to proceed to its destination by rail, a saloon
+carriage is engaged beforehand, and arrangement is made at the nearest
+hotel to supply the party with luncheon at from 5<i>s.</i> to 10<i>s.</i> per
+head, according to the style of luncheon required; or hampers of
+provisions are taken under the charge of one or two men-servants.</p>
+
+<p>If the picnic party proceeds by road, a coach is the favourite mode of
+conveyance, whether driven by the owner or hired for the occasion. This
+is a more sociable way of going to a picnic than dividing the party into
+detachments and conveying them in separate carriages. This is sometimes
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page187" name="page187"></a>[p.187]</span>unavoidable, and if the party is assembled for a start, it
+occasions no little discussion as to how the party should be divided and
+conveyed in the various carriages, and it takes no little tact to
+arrange this in a satisfactory manner&mdash;to overrule objections, and to
+make things work smoothly. Again, the members of a picnic party
+occasionally find their way to the place of rendezvous independently of
+each other; but, although this plan saves trouble, it does not promote
+sociability, and parties of four or six are apt to clique together
+during the day, instead of making themselves generally agreeable. The
+provision question is a very important one, and the heads of a picnic
+party should arrange in concert what each is to bring in the way of
+fish, flesh, fowl, fruit, and wine.</p>
+
+<p>The services of one or two men-servants at a large picnic party are
+generally required to arrange the table, to open the wine, and last, but
+not least, to collect and repack the articles used in the way of plate,
+china, or glass.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A picnic luncheon in September</span> is not always the <i>al fresco</i> spread
+under the greenwood tree that it is in July, and oftener than not is
+held in the best parlour of a rustic inn, or, by permission, in a barn
+or shed, when the weather is not favourable for camping out.</p>
+
+<p>Usually, when a large picnic party is arranged and got up by some three
+or four ladies and gentlemen, they divide the expenses of the
+entertainment between themselves, and determine how many shall be
+invited, each having the privilege of inviting a certain number. Other
+picnics are got up on a different system, each person contributing a
+share towards the general expenses; but these gatherings are not so
+sociable as are the invitation picnics.</p>
+
+<p>Invitation picnics where everything is done <i>en prince</i> are extremely
+enjoyable and friendly affairs; they are big luncheons, given
+out-of-doors instead of indoors, at a distance instead of at home. But
+even these are not more <span class="pagenum"><a id="page188" name="page188"></a>[p.188]</span>pleasant than those well-arranged
+little picnics given by officers in country quarters, when the
+regimental coach conveys a favoured few to some favourite spot.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Water-Parties.</span>&mdash;There are many ways of arranging a water-party at
+yachting stations and at all riverside places. At yachting stations, for
+instance, a sailing yacht is hired to convey a party of from eighteen to
+twenty-five to some point of interest on the coast, in which case
+luncheon and tea are provided at an hotel in the vicinity of the place
+where the party have landed, and the expenses are equally divided. Not
+unfrequently, on the return journey, the yacht is becalmed, and does not
+reach its destination until between two and three the following morning.
+If it happens to be a fine moonlight night, this prolongation of a
+water-party is an additional source of enjoyment; but if there is no
+moon as well as no wind, and the calm betokens a storm, it is the
+reverse of pleasant. But these little <i>contretemps</i>, when they do occur,
+rather lend a zest to the day's pleasure, and are something to talk
+about afterwards.</p>
+
+<p>Water-parties are often given by owners of yachts. These are invitation
+parties, and luncheon, tea, and sometimes dinner, are served on board,
+and the party land and stroll about, but return to the yacht to be
+entertained.</p>
+
+<p>Picnic and water-parties in general include as many gentlemen as ladies,
+whether they are invitation or contribution parties, although sometimes
+a majority of ladies is unavoidable. Ryde is a favourite station for
+water-parties, as the island itself, as well as the opposite coast,
+offer innumerable points of interest for picnicing, and many are able to
+combine the pleasures of the yacht with those of the launch in one and
+the same water-party; thus a party sails from Ryde to Yarmouth, Isle of
+Wight, and then proceeds in a steam, or other, launch to Alum Bay.
+Launch parties are immensely popular, both on the river and on the
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page189" name="page189"></a>[p.189]</span>coast. Some picnic on board, and others on shore, as they feel
+disposed.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Canoe-parties</span> on coast and river are also popular with both ladies and
+gentlemen, and here again the useful launch is brought into requisition
+to convey the party home, as an hour and a half to two hours is an
+average time to paddle a canoe; after that time the party land either on
+the rocks or on the shore, and light a fire and boil the kettle for tea.
+If the tea-drinking and the after-tea ramble are unduly prolonged there
+is a chance, if on the coast, of the steam-launch running out of coal,
+and of the party having to return home in their own canoes considerably
+later than was expected, and not a little fatigued.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page190" name="page190"></a>[p.190]</span>CHAPTER XXIX</h2>
+<h3>JUVENILE PARTIES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Juvenile Parties</span> form a prominent feature in the entertainments given
+during the winter months. There is scarcely a household the children of
+which are not indulged with one large party at least, while others are
+allowed as many as two or three children's parties during the winter
+months. These parties offer no little elasticity as to their
+arrangement, varying from a child's tea party, composed, perhaps, of
+five or six children, to a juvenile ball, or fancy dress ball. Some
+mothers object, on principle, to the latter entertainments, on the
+ground that to give a large juvenile ball provokes a corresponding
+number of invitations, and that a round of such gaieties is not good for
+young children, either from a moral or from a hygienic point of view.
+Morally, that such amusements are likely to destroy or impair the
+freshness of childhood, and to engender artificial ideas in their young
+minds in place of such as are natural and healthy, and that the
+imitation of the manners and bearing of their elders causes them to
+become miniature men and women, and divests them of the attributes of
+artless and unaffected childhood.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The dresses worn by children</span> at these entertainments are of so elaborate
+a character&mdash;and so much pride is exhibited when wearing them&mdash;that a
+spirit of vanity and a love of dress are aroused at a prematurely early
+age. From a physical point of view, late hours, heated rooms, rich
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page191" name="page191"></a>[p.191]</span>dainties, and constant excitement have a pernicious effect
+upon children.</p>
+
+<p>There is, of course, an opposite view taken by those who uphold juvenile
+balls; they consider that children are the better for associating with
+others of their own age outside of their own family circle, and that in
+the case of only children such association is calculated to render them
+lively and intelligent. Another argument in favour of these juvenile
+parties is, that children who are in the habit of constantly attending
+them acquire self-possessed and confident manners, and that all shyness,
+<i>mauvaise honte</i> and <i>gaucherie</i>, which distinguish many children when in
+the company of strangers, are dispelled by frequent intercourse with
+children of all ages. Thus, in place of the noisy game of romps, the
+little gentlemen ask the little ladies to dance, pull costume bon-bons
+with their favourite partners, and offer them similar attentions
+throughout the evening. Of course, there are shy little gentlemen and
+shy little ladies even at a juvenile ball; but it is the constant
+endeavour of those who accompany them, whether mammas, elder sisters,
+young aunts, or grown-up cousins, to persuade them to get the better of
+this diffidence, and to induce taciturn Master Tommy to dance with timid
+Miss Tiny. Sometimes Master Tommy is obstinate, as well as taciturn, and
+his "won't" is as strong as his will. As with all things, so with
+children's parties, the medium course is, perhaps, the wisest to take,
+running into neither extreme&mdash;avoiding too much seclusion or overmuch
+gaiety, and rendering such gaiety and amusement suitable to the ages of
+the children invited. When an evening's entertainment consists of a
+series of amusements, it is a mistake to crowd too great a variety into
+the space of four hours, the usual limits of a child's party, for if so
+the programme has to be hurriedly gone through, and is hardly finished
+before the hour of departure. No little judgment is required when
+organising juvenile parties. The hours <span class="pagenum"><a id="page192" name="page192"></a>[p.192]</span>usually selected for
+children's parties, whether on a large or small scale, are from four to
+eight, five to nine, six to ten, or from seven to eleven.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The children on their arrival</span> are received in the drawing-room. In most
+cases their relatives, either mothers or grown-up sisters, are asked to
+accompany them.</p>
+
+<p>There is great punctuality observed as regards the hour of arrival, and
+tea is usually served in the dining-room about half an hour after that
+named on the invitation card. The interim is generally passed by
+children in watching each fresh arrival, and in greeting their little
+acquaintances, comparing notes with each other as to the teas and the
+parties they are going to, or in amusing themselves with the toys
+belonging to the children of the house, which are usually arranged on
+tables for this purpose; and mechanical toys, walking and talking birds,
+etc., musical toys, picture-books, and dolls, and the latest and newest
+inventions in the way of playthings afford the little visitors an
+opportunity for becoming at ease with each other.</p>
+
+<p>Tea is generally dispensed at one end of a long table, and coffee at the
+opposite end. The governess usually pours out the tea, and one of the
+daughters of the house the coffee; or failing her, the head nurse or
+lady's maid does so. Dishes of pound, plum, and sponge cake are placed
+the length of the table, interspersed with plates of thin
+bread-and-butter, biscuits, and preserves; either the ladies of the
+family or the servants in attendance hand them to the children.</p>
+
+<p>When the relatives accompany the children tea is usually served to them
+in another room, but frequently they do not arrive until tea is over,
+and the nurses accompany the children to the house.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Amusements.</span>&mdash;The arrangements for the evening's amusement are regulated
+in a measure by the amount of accommodation a house affords, premising
+that boisterous <span class="pagenum"><a id="page193" name="page193"></a>[p.193]</span>games are not allowed in drawing-rooms; unless
+all valuable ornaments or things likely to be broken are removed from
+the rooms.</p>
+
+<p>If conjuring is one of the amusements provided, it generally takes place
+in the drawing-room immediately after tea, and lasts about an hour. A
+dancing-cloth is put down over the drawing-room carpet; rout seats or
+cane chairs are arranged in rows. The youngest children are seated in
+the first row. Performing birds, performing dogs, or performing monkeys
+are also favourite amusements at these parties, and rank next to
+conjuring in the estimation of children. Punch and Judy or marionettes
+are popular drawing-room amusements, and either occupies the space of an
+hour.</p>
+
+<p>When a cinematograph show is the entertainment provided, it takes place
+in the dining-room or library, or perhaps in the housekeeper's room, if
+large enough for the purpose.</p>
+
+<p>Dancing or games usually precede these amusements, and lasts from half
+to three-quarters of an hour; little girls dance with each other round
+and square dances, as little girls are, as a rule, more partial to
+dancing than are little boys, although they one and all, great and
+small, join with glee in a country dance, or in the Tempête, or in "Sir
+Roger de Coverley."</p>
+
+<p>Not longer than an hour is devoted to dancing, and this is usually
+followed by games.</p>
+
+<p>Impromptu charades is a favourite pastime with children; but to avoid
+the juvenile audience becoming weary and impatient during the
+preparation of the charades it is as well they should be amused with
+some quiet game, such as "forfeits," "cross questions and crooked
+answers," "proverbs," etc. At Christmas and New Year's parties the
+distribution of presents is a very important feature; Christmas trees
+are now rather discarded in favour of greater novelties. "Father
+Christmas," "Santa Claus," <span class="pagenum"><a id="page194" name="page194"></a>[p.194]</span>"The Fairy Godmother," "The
+Fairies' Well," or the "Lucky Bag" and "The Magic Log," are some of the
+many devices for the distribution of presents; these popular characters
+are represented by grown-up persons, and provoke much wonder and
+admiration amongst children. The presents are usually given at the close
+of the evening.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Light Refreshments</span> are provided in the dining-room&mdash;lemonade, wine and
+water, every description of cake, sandwiches, crystallized fruits,
+French plums, figs, almonds and raisins, oranges, etc. Bon-bons
+containing paper caps, etc., which afford children much amusement, are
+usually provided.</p>
+
+<p>When a juvenile ball is given a supper is provided; otherwise light
+refreshments are considered sufficient, and are served twice during the
+evening. Sometimes the children of the family, if old enough and clever
+enough, act a little play&mdash;some nursery fairy tale, condensed into one
+act, such as "Beauty and the Beast," "Cinderella," etc.&mdash;which lasts
+about an hour, and is followed by dancing.</p>
+
+<p>When a juvenile fancy ball is given, one or two fancy quadrilles are
+arranged beforehand, to be danced by the children in costume.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page195" name="page195"></a>[p.195]</span>CHAPTER XXX</h2>
+<h3>WRITTEN INVITATIONS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Writing Letters of Invitation</span>, and answering letters of invitation,
+often occupy far longer time in the composition than the writers would
+care to confess. The difficulty does not lie in an invitation itself or
+in accepting or refusing it, but rather in the form in which either
+should be couched, the words that should be chosen, and the expressions
+that should be used; one person is afraid of being too <i>empressé</i>,
+another of being too formal or too stiff; one is fearful of saying too
+little, another of saying too much.</p>
+
+<p>When invitations are issued on dinner cards or on "at home" cards, the
+note of acceptance should be as brief as is the printed card of
+invitation, and to the printed card requesting the pleasure of Mrs.
+Blank's company at dinner, the stereotyped answer is invariably Mrs.
+Blank has much pleasure in accepting Mrs. Dash's kind invitation for
+Saturday the 21st, or Mrs. Blank regrets that a previous engagement will
+prevent her from having the pleasure of accepting Mrs. Dash's kind
+invitation for Saturday, the 21st.</p>
+
+<p>As regards those invitations that refer to visits of some days'
+duration, those accustomed to give this description of entertainment,
+know exactly what to say and how to say it. The conventional civilities
+or affectionate cordialities, as the case may be, occur in their proper
+places; but one point is made clear in either case, namely, the length
+of the visit to be paid. There are people who are under the impression
+that to specify the exact length of a visit is in a degree inhospitable,
+and not sufficiently polite; and they, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page196" name="page196"></a>[p.196]</span>therefore, as a sort of
+compromise, use the ambiguous term "a few days" in lieu of distinctly
+defining the limit of these invitations. So far from vague invitations
+such as these being an advantage to invited guests, they not seldom
+place them at a disadvantage at more points than one. They are uncertain
+on what day they are to take their departure. They do not wish by
+leaving a day earlier to disarrange any little plans that their hostess
+may have contemplated for their amusement; neither do they wish to
+prolong their visit a day later, lest by so doing they should break in
+upon any engagements that she may have formed on her own account
+independently of her visitors. It is also not a little awkward for
+guests to tell their hostess that they think of leaving on Thursday by
+12.20 train. It might have suited the hostess very much better that her
+visitors should have left on the Wednesday, and in her own mind she had
+perhaps intended that the visit should end on that day; but, having left
+the invitation open, more or less, by saying "a few days," there is
+nothing left for her but to sacrifice her own arrangements to the
+convenience of her guests, as without discourtesy she could hardly
+suggest to them that they should leave a day earlier than the one they
+had named, and the visitors remain unconscious of having in any way
+trespassed upon the good nature of their hostess.</p>
+
+<p>"A few days" is also an unsatisfactory wording of an invitation to
+visitors themselves; as a rule, it means three or four days, but there
+is also an uncertainty as to whether the fourth day should be taken or
+not. Those who interpret "a few days" to mean three days, make their
+plans for departure accordingly; failing this, they are compelled to
+leave their plans open, and stay from three to five days, according as
+chance and circumstances may dictate. A lady would perhaps require a
+little addition to her wardrobe in the matter of a five days' visit over
+that of a three days' stay; but this is a trifling detail, although it
+helps to swell <span class="pagenum"><a id="page197" name="page197"></a>[p.197]</span>the list of minor inconveniences which are the
+result of vague invitations. There are, of course, exceptions to every
+rule, and there are people who use this phrase of "Will you come and see
+us for a few days?" in the <i>bonâ fide</i> sense of the word, and to whom it
+is immaterial whether their guests remain three days or six days; but
+such an elastic invitation as this is usually given to a relative, or to
+a very intimate friend, whose footing in the house is that of a
+relation, and with whom the hostess does not stand on ceremony, as far
+as her own engagements are concerned; and people on these friendly terms
+can talk over their departure with their hostess, and consult her about
+it without the faintest embarrassment.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The most satisfactory invitation</span> is certainly the one that mentions the
+day of arrival and the day of departure. Thus, after the <i>raison d'être</i>
+of the invitation has been stated, the why and the wherefore of its
+being given follows the gist of the letter: "We hope you will come to us
+on Wednesday the 23rd, and remain until the 27th." It is, of course,
+open to a hostess to ask her visitors to prolong their stay beyond the
+date named if she sees reason for so doing; but this is the exception
+rather than the rule in the case of short visits, and guests take their
+departure as a matter of course on the day named in the invitation.
+Hostess and guests are perfectly at ease upon the subject, and guests do
+not feel on delicate ground with their hostess, or fear to outstay their
+welcome. When a visit has been paid it is polite, if not imperative, to
+write to the hostess and express the pleasure that has been derived from
+it. Oftener than not some little matter arises which necessitates a note
+being written apart from this; but whether or not, good feeling and good
+taste would dictate that some such note should be written, and, as it
+can always include little matters of general interest in connection with
+the past visit, it need neither be over ceremonious nor coldly polite.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page198" name="page198"></a>[p.198]</span><span class="subchap">To write a letter asking for an invitation</span>, or to answer a
+letter asking for an invitation, is in either case a difficult letter to
+write, as many have ere this discovered. When a married lady asks for an
+invitation for a young relative or friend staying with her, to some
+dance or "at home" to which she herself is invited, the note is simple
+enough, and the answer is generally a card of invitation or a written
+permission to bring her. Again, in the case of asking for invitations
+for gentlemen, if a lady is going to a ball, she can without hesitation,
+ask for cards of invitation for one or two gentlemen friends of her own,
+mentioning their names in the note. In this case also the answer is
+generally in the affirmative, as men are always acquisitions at a ball.
+The awkwardness of the situation arises when a good-natured person is
+solicited to obtain an invitation to a smart ball for a lady and her
+daughters, or for the young ladies only, the latter knowing some one who
+would chaperon them if they could only get an invitation. If the lady
+who asks for the invitation is a fashionable ball-giver, the probability
+is that her request will be granted; but if the contrary, the reverse
+will most likely be the case. Even when writing to an intimate friend,
+there is always a delicacy in asking for an invitation for a third
+person, and society appears to become, year after year, still more
+exclusive on this point. Many people are reluctant, or decline
+altogether, to put themselves under an obligation of this nature, even
+for those with whom they are most intimate; it may be that the number of
+refusals good-natured people have received from their friends when
+trying to render services of this description, have made them chary of
+putting themselves forward again in a similar manner: it is chilling to
+be told that the list is over full, or that so many people have been
+refused already, or that there is not a card to spare. But a few years
+ago a ball was not considered a success unless it was an over-crowded
+one; the popularity of the ball-giver was shown by the guests scarcely
+being able to find <span class="pagenum"><a id="page199" name="page199"></a>[p.199]</span>standing-room. Thus, invitations were given
+right and left to the friends of those who asked for them.</p>
+
+<p>But the fashion of to-day is to style a crowded ball-room a
+"bear-garden," and to confine the invitations, with but very few
+exceptions, to those who are strictly on the visiting list of the
+ball-giver; and pretty girls may sigh in vain for an invitation to a
+ball given even by a relative or acquaintance of their own, if not on
+their visiting list. Still, invitations are constantly asked for by
+people for their friends, and sometimes they are given and sometimes
+they are refused, as the case may be, but much depends upon the position
+of the one who solicits the favour.</p>
+
+<p>If the giver of an entertainment wishes to oblige the petitioner, she
+will stretch a point to do so; if not, she will write a polite note of
+excuse, giving one of the reasons before mentioned. It is thoroughly
+understood people do not ask for invitations for themselves, whatever
+they may do for their friends, and that they would not do so unless they
+were themselves invited. Living at a distance modifies, however, this
+latter rule; and friends in the country often ask for invitations for
+friends in town, and <i>vice versâ</i>.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Dinner invitations</span> are, as a matter of course, never asked for; but
+invitations to garden-parties, afternoon "at homes," and afternoon teas,
+are frequently asked for and readily given. Some are intimate enough at
+the house where they visit to take a relative or friend with them to
+those afternoon gatherings without observing the punctiliousness of
+asking for an invitation; others, on less intimate terms, do not venture
+upon doing so.</p>
+
+<p>In all cases when an invitation is asked for, a hostess should never
+neglect to send a reply, and should not take for granted that her
+friends will naturally understand that silence gives consent, for under
+the circumstances it is very possible to interpret it to signify a
+refusal.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page200" name="page200"></a>[p.200]</span>CHAPTER XXXI</h2>
+<h3>REFUSING INVITATIONS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Many</span> reasons exist for declining invitations other than the plea of a
+prior engagement.</p>
+
+<p>"Mrs. M. regrets ('much regrets,' or 'very much regrets') that a
+previous engagement prevents her having the pleasure of accepting Mrs.
+N.'s 'invitation,' or 'kind invitation.'" When on more intimate terms,
+Mrs. M. should write in the first person when declining an invitation.
+It is an open question whether the nature of the engagement should be
+stated or not. Even intimate friends often confine themselves to the
+statement of the bare fact only that a prior engagement exists; others,
+on the contrary, state the nature of the engagement, and there is no
+doubt that this latter course considerably softens a refusal and lessens
+the disappointment experienced, and therefore, when practicable, should
+always be followed.</p>
+
+<p>When a prior engagement cannot be made the basis of a refusal, then the
+refusal must rest on other lines; ill health, a severe cold, etc., are
+valid excuses. Failing these, the refusal should be as follows:&mdash;"Mrs.
+Z. regrets she is unable to accept Mrs. X.'s kind invitation, etc."</p>
+
+<p>It occasionally happens that it is desirable to break an engagement,
+circumstances having changed the aspect of things. The invitation,
+perhaps, was a verbal one, and a refusal was not easy at the moment.</p>
+
+<p>Again, impromptu invitations are sometimes refused, having been too
+hastily accepted&mdash;the servant who brought <span class="pagenum"><a id="page201" name="page201"></a>[p.201]</span>the note waited for
+an answer, and on the impulse of the moment an affirmative answer was
+given; the wife had not time to consult her husband, and accepted for
+him as well as for herself; or perhaps some potent domestic reason that
+could not be explained induced a subsequent refusal.</p>
+
+<p>The fashionable world accepts refusals as a matter of course, and fills
+up the gaps with other invitations.</p>
+
+<p>Refusals of dinner invitations from those for whom a dinner party was
+partly originated are always disappointing, even to the most popular of
+dinner givers, in the same way that the absence of the principal
+neighbour from a county entertainment is felt to cast a shadow over the
+proceedings of the day.</p>
+
+<p>Although printed cards of acceptance and of refusal are in general use,
+yet many cases arise which render written refusals imperative.</p>
+
+<p>As regards the refusal of invitations asked for, such requests should
+not be made unless on very safe ground, and with a certainty of meeting
+with acquiescence, yet occasionally these requests are either unwelcome
+or inadmissible, and refusals are consequently given; but, unless worded
+with tact and good nature, they are often the cause of strained
+relations between both friends and acquaintances.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page202" name="page202"></a>[p.202]</span>CHAPTER XXXII</h2>
+<h3>WALKING, DRIVING, AND RIDING</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Usual Hours for Walking</span> in the Park are from 9 until 10.30 a.m. The
+hours for afternoon walking and sitting in the Park are from 4 to 7 p.m.
+during the summer months.</p>
+
+<p>The fashionable hours for walking in the Park on Sunday are from 1 to 2
+p.m., both in winter and summer; and from 5 to 7 p.m. in the summer
+months.</p>
+
+<p>Married ladies can, if they please, walk out unaccompanied or unattended
+in places of public resort in town or on the parades of fashionable
+watering-places; but married ladies, especially if they are young,
+usually prefer the society of another lady, not so much, perhaps, for
+propriety as for companionship, as to walk alone, either in town or at
+fashionable watering-places, renders a lady more or less conspicuous,
+especially if she is attractive and well dressed.</p>
+
+<p>A young lady can now also walk by herself in the Park for the purpose of
+joining her friends and acquaintances, both in the morning and in the
+afternoon, but she should not sit alone.</p>
+
+<p>Again, young ladies may walk alone in the fashionable streets, but they
+should not loiter when alone at shop-windows as they pass, but walk at a
+quick pace from shop to shop, or from street to street.</p>
+
+<p>In the quiet neighbourhoods of towns, suburban towns, and
+watering-places, young ladies walk unaccompanied <span class="pagenum"><a id="page203" name="page203"></a>[p.203]</span>and
+unattended to visit their friends residing in the near vicinity of their
+homes, or to attend classes, or for the purpose of shopping, etc.
+Indeed, great independence is generally accorded in this respect, the
+line being drawn at evening hours&mdash;that is to say, at walking alone
+after dusk.</p>
+
+<p>At watering-places, and at all public promenades, it is usual for
+gentlemen to join ladies with whom they are acquainted, and to walk with
+them for a short time when it is apparent that their company is desired,
+but not otherwise.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies and gentlemen, whether related or not, should never walk
+arm-in-arm, unless the lady is an elderly one, or an invalid, and
+requires this support.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Driving.</span>&mdash;From 3 to 6.30 are the received hours for the afternoon drive
+during the summer, and from 2.30 to 4.30 during the winter.</p>
+
+<p>The following rules as regards entering and leaving a carriage apply to
+a motor-car or an electric brougham as far as the construction, make,
+and size of the same render it possible.</p>
+
+<p>When driving in an open or close carriage or motor-car it is quite
+immaterial whether the owner occupies the right-hand or the left-hand
+seat. The seat she occupies depends upon which side she enters, as the
+lady driving with her should enter before her and should seat herself on
+the furthest seat.</p>
+
+<p>A visitor should always enter the motor-car or carriage before the
+hostess.</p>
+
+<p>When three ladies enter a motor-car or carriage the young unmarried lady
+should take the back seat and the two married ladies should occupy the
+front seat; this is a matter of courtesy on the part of a young lady due
+to married ladies and not strictly demanded by etiquette.</p>
+
+<p>A husband should sit with his back to the horses, or by <span class="pagenum"><a id="page204" name="page204"></a>[p.204]</span>the
+side of the chauffeur in the case of a motor-car, when a lady is driving
+with his wife.</p>
+
+<p>A gentleman should be the first to get out of a motor-car or carriage,
+with a view to assisting the ladies to do so.</p>
+
+<p>As a rule the hostess should leave the carriage or car after her guest
+and not before her, unless it is more convenient to do otherwise.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is merely calling for an acquaintance to take her for a
+drive, she should not descend from her car or carriage for the purpose
+of allowing her to enter it before her.</p>
+
+<p>In the afternoon young ladies may drive alone in the public
+thoroughfares, unaccompanied by married ladies. It is permissible for a
+young lady to drive alone in the Park or in the streets. A married lady
+can, as a matter of course, drive unaccompanied.</p>
+
+<p>It would be unconventional were a lady to drive alone with a gentleman
+in his motor-car, unless he were nearly related to her, or unless she
+were engaged to be married to him.</p>
+
+<p>It is usual for the owner of a carriage to sit with her face to the
+horses; when a married lady is driving with her she should sit beside
+her. When young ladies are driving with her in addition to the married
+lady they should sit with their backs to the horses.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady is driving with her husband, and a young lady accompanies
+her, she should not offer the front seat to the young lady, but should
+retain it herself, and even should the offer be made, a young lady
+should not avail herself of it.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Riding.</span>&mdash;As regards riding in town, the hours for practice in the Row
+are from 8 to 10 a.m. in summer and 9 to 11 a.m. in winter, for
+inexperienced riders and beginners; young ladies ride with a
+riding-master or with a riding-mistress, or with a relative, as the case
+may be.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page205" name="page205"></a>[p.205]</span>The hours for riding in the Park range from 9.30 to 10.30 a.m.</p>
+
+<p>It is thoroughly understood that a lady may ride in the Park alone&mdash;that
+is, unaccompanied or unattended&mdash;for the purpose of joining her friends.
+It is argued, in these days of woman's emancipation, that no possible
+harm or annoyance can arise from the fact of a lady riding unattended,
+beyond the always possible chance of an accident.</p>
+
+<p>Although great latitude is now allowed to young ladies with regard to
+riding alone, many parents still prefer that their daughters should be
+attended by their grooms.</p>
+
+<p>Two ladies frequently ride together, unaccompanied by a gentleman and
+unattended by a groom.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page206" name="page206"></a>[p.206]</span>CHAPTER XXXIII</h2>
+<h3>BOWING</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">As</span> regards the recognition of friends or acquaintances, it is the
+privilege of a lady to take the initiative, by being the first to bow. A
+gentleman should not raise his hat to a lady until she has accorded him
+this mark of recognition, although the act of bowing is a simultaneous
+action on the part of both lady and gentleman, as a lady would hardly
+bestow a bow upon a gentleman not prepared to return it.</p>
+
+<p>The bow between intimate acquaintances takes the character, when given
+by a lady, of a familiar nod in place of a stiff bow.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a gentleman returns the bow</span> of a lady he should do so by distinctly
+taking his hat off and as quickly replacing it, not merely raising it
+slightly, as formerly, and if he is an intimate acquaintance or friend,
+he should act in a similar manner.</p>
+
+<p>In France and on the Continent generally, the rule of bowing is
+reversed, and the gentleman is the first to bow to the lady, instead of
+the lady to the gentleman.</p>
+
+<p>Between ladies but slightly acquainted, the one of highest rank should
+be the first to bow to the other; between ladies of equal rank it is
+immaterial which of the two bows first.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A lady should not bow</span> to persons only known to her by sight, although
+she may frequently have seen them in the company of her friends.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page207" name="page207"></a>[p.207]</span>A lady should bow to a gentleman, either a friend or
+acquaintance, even when he is walking with either a lady or gentleman,
+with whom she is unacquainted.</p>
+
+<p>Gentlemen do not raise their hats in recognition of each other, but
+simply nod, when not walking with ladies, save when a vast difference
+exists in rank or age.</p>
+
+<p>When a gentleman meets another&mdash;a friend of his&mdash;walking with a lady or
+ladies, with whom he himself is unacquainted, he should raise his hat
+and look straight before him, not at the lady or ladies.</p>
+
+<p>A lady should not bow to another who, being a stranger to her, has
+addressed a few remarks to her at an afternoon party, as the fact of
+meeting at the house of a mutual friend does not constitute an
+acquaintanceship, and does not authorise a future bowing acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies, as a rule, are not too ready to bow to those whom they have
+merely conversed with in a casual way. In the first place, they are not
+quite certain of being remembered, and nothing is more disconcerting and
+disagreeable than to bow to a person who does not return it through
+forgetfulness of the one who has given it, or through shortsightedness,
+or through actual intention. Short-sighted people are always offending
+in the matter of not bowing, and almost every third person,
+comparatively speaking, complains of being more or less short-sighted;
+thus it behoves ladies to discover for themselves the strength and
+length of sight possessed by their new acquaintances, or the chances are
+that their bow may never be returned, or they may continue to labour
+under the impression that they have received a cut direct; thus many
+pleasant acquaintances are lost through this misapprehension, and many
+erroneous impressions created.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A bowing acquaintance</span> is a difficult and tiresome one to maintain for
+any length of time, when opportunities do not arise for increasing it.
+The irksomeness of keeping it <span class="pagenum"><a id="page208" name="page208"></a>[p.208]</span>up is principally experienced by
+persons meeting day after day in the Park or on public promenades,
+riding, driving, or walking, more especially when it is tacitly
+understood that the acquaintance should not develop into a further
+acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>It would be considered discourteous to discontinue a bowing acquaintance
+which has once been commenced.</p>
+
+<p>To know a gentleman by sight through having frequently seen him at balls
+and parties, does not give a lady the right to bow to him, even though
+she may have stood beside him for some twenty minutes or so on a crowded
+staircase, and may have received some slight civility from him.</p>
+
+<p>A lady who has received a little service from a stranger would gladly
+acknowledge it at any subsequent meeting by a pleasant bow, but as
+bowing to a gentleman argues an acquaintance with him, and as in such
+cases as these an acquaintance does not exist, etiquette provides no
+compromise in the matter. Therefore, if a young lady takes her own line,
+and rather than appear ungracious bows to a gentleman who has not been
+introduced to her either directly or indirectly, it is a breach of
+etiquette on her part; and as to do an unconventional thing is not
+desirable, the innumerable little services which ladies receive in
+general society are not further acknowledged beyond the thanks expressed
+at the moment of their being received.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Bows vary materially:</span> there is the friendly bow, the distant bow, the
+ceremonious bow, the deferential bow, the familiar bow, the reluctant
+bow, and so on, according to the feelings that actuate individuals in
+their intercourse with each other.</p>
+
+<p>When a bowing acquaintance only exists between ladies and gentlemen, and
+they meet perhaps two or three times during the day, and are not
+sufficiently intimate to speak, they do not usually bow more than once,
+when thus meeting in park or promenade.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page209" name="page209"></a>[p.209]</span>CHAPTER XXXIV</h2>
+<h3>THE COCKADE</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Cockades are worn</span> by servants in livery of officers in the army and
+navy, and all those who hold His Majesty's commission; also
+lords-lieutenants and deputy-lieutenants.</p>
+
+<p>Retainers of the Crown are entitled to the use of the cockade as a badge
+of the reigning dynasty.</p>
+
+<p>The fact that cockades are now so frequently worn by men-servants may be
+accounted for thus:</p>
+
+<p>Deputy-lieutenants are far more numerous now than was formerly the case;
+almost every country gentleman is a deputy-lieutenant, and consequently
+his servants are entitled to the use of the cockade. The privilege of
+appearing in uniform at levées instead of in Court dress has been and is
+an incentive to many to seek for and obtain the appointment of
+deputy-lieutenant. Again, all justices of the peace claim the use of the
+cockade as being "Civil retainers of the Crown"; and although there is
+no clearly defined rule on this head, according to the late Sir Albert
+Woods, Garter-King-at-Arms, it has long been tacitly conceded to them.</p>
+
+<p>The custom of livery servants wearing cockades dates from the
+commencement of the eighteenth century, and was at first purely a
+military distinction.</p>
+
+<p>The cockade worn by the servants of the members of the Royal Family, and
+by all who claim to be of Royal descent, is slightly different in shape
+from that known as <span class="pagenum"><a id="page210" name="page210"></a>[p.210]</span>the badge of the reigning dynasty, <i>i.e.</i>
+the Hanoverian badge, and is round in shape and without a fan. The
+military cockade is of an oval shape, terminating in a fan. The civil
+cockade is of an oval shape also, but without the fan. The naval cockade
+is identical with the civil cockade.</p>
+
+<p>The white cockade is the badge of the House of Stuart. The black cockade
+that of the House of Hanover. The servants of foreign ambassadors wear
+cockades in colour according to their nationalities. Black and white for
+Germany; black and yellow for Austria; the tricolour for France; scarlet
+for Spain; blue and white for Portugal; and black and yellow for
+Belgium.</p>
+
+<p>The word cockade, according to a well-known authority, was borrowed from
+the French <i>cocarde</i>, having originally been applied to the plumes of
+cock's feathers worn by Croatian soldiers serving in the French army.
+Some such plume, or in its place a bunch of ribbons, came to be used in
+pinning up the flaps of the hat into a cocked position, and thus
+gradually the word passed for the name of the "cocked" hat itself.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page211" name="page211"></a>[p.211]</span>CHAPTER XXXV</h2>
+<h3>COUNTRY-HOUSE VISITS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">September</span> is actually the commencement of the country visiting season,
+the few visits that are paid in August are but a prelude to the
+programme that is to follow during the succeeding five months.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The visitors received in August</span> are principally relatives. The
+exceptions to the August family parties are the August cricket parties
+in the counties where cricket is made a great feature during that month,
+where the cricket weeks and consequent large country-house parties are
+of annual recurrence, and where balls and private theatricals form part
+of the week's amusement. It often follows that people visit at the same
+houses year after year, they arrange their tour of visits with regard to
+those invitations which they annually receive; new acquaintances and new
+houses whereat to visit are added to the list from time to time and take
+the place of those which, as a matter of course, drop out of it.
+Sometimes the invitations fit into each other admirably, like the pieces
+of a puzzle; at others there is an awkward interval of a day, or two or
+three days, to be filled up between leaving one house and arriving at
+another. If the hostess is, in either case, a relation or an intimate
+friend, this difficulty is easily surmounted by staying on at one house
+until the day fixed for arrival at another, or <i>vice versâ</i>; but if a
+guest is on ceremony with her hostess, or if, as is often the case, new
+arrivals are expected for the following <span class="pagenum"><a id="page212" name="page212"></a>[p.212]</span>week, the alternative
+is to spend a few days in town, as although the house where the next
+visit to be paid might be within twenty or thirty miles of the house the
+visitor is about to leave, it would be unusual to spend the interval at
+an hotel in the adjacent town, as to do so might reflect upon the
+hospitality of the hostess. On the other hand, invitations are sometimes
+given independently of dates, but this friendly style of invitation is
+not given when a large party is invited, and it is understood to mean
+that the hostess may be quite alone, or may have guests staying with
+her, as the case may be. This form of invitation is frequently given to
+people visiting in Scotland, on account of the great distance from town.</p>
+
+<p>It is a very general custom to give shooting parties the third week in
+September, harvest permitting. If the harvest is late on account of
+unfavourable weather the shooting parties are postponed until the first
+week in the ensuing month. The guests, or at least the crack guns, are
+usually invited for partridge driving, which is what partridge shooting
+now actually amounts to.</p>
+
+<p>There are large shooting parties and small shooting parties, shooting
+parties to which royalty is invited and shooting parties restricted to
+intimate friends or relations, but in either case the period is the
+same, three days' shooting.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">If a party is limited to five guns</span>, seven ladies is the average number
+invited, the hostess relying upon a neighbour or a neighbour's son to
+equalise the balance at the dinner-table. The success of house-parties
+mainly depends upon people knowing each other, or fraternising when they
+are introduced or have made each other's acquaintance. The ladies of a
+country-house party are expected, as a rule, to amuse themselves, more
+or less, during the day. After luncheon there is usually a drive to a
+neighbouring town, a little shopping to be done there, or a call to be
+paid in the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page213" name="page213"></a>[p.213]</span>neighbourhood by some of the party, notably the
+married ladies, the young ladies being left to their own resources.</p>
+
+<p>At the close of a visit game is offered to those of the shooters to whom
+it is known that it will be acceptable.</p>
+
+<p>The head gamekeeper is usually instructed to put up a couple of brace of
+pheasants and a hare. But in some houses even this custom is not
+followed, and the whole of the game killed, with the exception of what
+is required for the house, finds its way into the market, both the local
+market and the London market.</p>
+
+<hr class="sep1">
+
+<p>Shooting parties as a rule give a hostess little anxiety on the score of
+finding amusement for the ladies of the party, as so many aids out of
+doors are at her command at this season of the year. This is a great
+advantage, as although some few ladies possessing great strength of
+nerve have taken up shooting as an amusement and pastime and acquit
+themselves surprisingly well in this manly sport, yet ladies in general
+are not inclined for so dangerous a game, and even those intrepid ladies
+who have learnt how to use their little gun would never be permitted to
+make one or two of a big shooting party, even were they so inclined.</p>
+
+<p>The hostess and the ladies of the party invariably join the shooters at
+luncheon, and some of the ladies go out with the shooters in the morning
+to watch their prowess in the field; but this entails a great deal of
+walking where partridge shooting is concerned, which is quite another
+thing to covert shooting in November and December.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A good hostess has great opportunities</span> for distinguishing herself when
+entertaining a country-house party, from the arrival of the first
+motor-car to the departure of the last. Her consideration and tact are
+so successfully exerted that somehow her guests always find themselves
+doing exactly <span class="pagenum"><a id="page214" name="page214"></a>[p.214]</span>what they like best and in company with those
+who are most congenial to them, to say nothing of the comfort of the
+general domestic arrangements, which seem to have been arranged
+exclusively for their convenience. If they wish to drive, there is a
+carriage or motor-car at their disposal; if they prefer a
+constitutional, there is some one very agreeable desirous of walking
+with them. The daily papers are always to be found, the post-bag goes
+out at a most convenient hour by the hand of a special messenger, the
+dinner is of the best, and the evening is of the cheeriest. Bridge as a
+rule is played in most houses, and several tables are arranged in the
+drawing-room to accommodate the would-be players.</p>
+
+<p>Occasionally, when the birds are wild and sport is slack, a sort of
+picnic luncheon is held in the vicinity of a keeper's lodge, under the
+shade of some wide-spreading trees, when the ladies join the party; but
+in September keen sportsmen rather despise this playing at shooting, and
+resent the interruption caused by the company of ladies at luncheon, and
+prefer to take it in the rough and smoke the while. Every day of the
+week is not thus given up to shooting, and there are few owners of
+manors who would care to provide five days' consecutive sport for their
+guests, and two days' hard shooting is probably followed by what is
+called an idle day. On these off days in September the hostess often
+gives a garden-party, or takes her guests to one given by a neighbour at
+some few miles distant; or she holds a stall at a bazaar and persuades
+her guests to assist her in disposing of her stock; or she induces her
+party to accompany her to some flower-show in which she takes a local
+interest; or the host and one or two of the best shots start early after
+breakfast to shoot with a neighbour, and the remainder of the guests
+drive over to a picturesque ruin, where they picnic, and return home in
+time for the eight-o'clock dinner. If the owner of a mansion has a coach
+the whole party is conveyed on it, otherwise the motor-cars are brought
+into requisition, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page215" name="page215"></a>[p.215]</span>while saddle horses are provided for those
+who care to ride. A country-house party occasionally resolves itself
+into two or more cliques, as far as the ladies are concerned; gentlemen,
+as a rule, are not much given to this sort of thing. On the first
+evening, as soon as the ladies have left the dining-room for the
+drawing-room, these little cliques are tacitly formed, and continue
+unbroken until the close of the visit. There are many reasons which call
+these cliques into existence&mdash;old intimacies revived, new
+acquaintanceships to be strengthened, unwelcome acquaintanceships to be
+avoided, and so on. These cliques are by no means agreeable to the
+hostess, indeed, quite the contrary&mdash;but she is powerless to prevent
+their being formed, and she is herself sometimes drawn into one or other
+of them, and sometimes altogether excluded from them. Any one who is at
+all conversant with country-house visiting is aware how thoroughly the
+influence of the clique pervades the atmosphere of the drawing-room; and
+yet, perhaps, at country-house parties more friendships are formed and
+intimacies cemented than at any other gatherings.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The evening amusements</span> at country-house parties vary very much according
+to the proclivities of the hostess or those of her daughters. At some
+houses dancing is the order of things for a couple of hours or so after
+dinner, but this mode of spending the evening does not always commend
+itself to the gentlemen, who, after a long day's walking through wet
+turnips and over heavy ploughed land, or a hard day's riding over stiff
+fences, rather incline towards the <i>dolce far niente</i> of a luxurious
+armchair than to the pleasures of the mazy valse, and are
+proportionately grateful to a hostess who does not call upon them to
+undergo any further exercise than what they have already gone through
+for their own pleasure.</p>
+
+<p>In most country-house parties bridge forms the chief if not the only
+amusement, and is played not only after <span class="pagenum"><a id="page216" name="page216"></a>[p.216]</span>dinner but in the
+afternoon also. Amateur theatricals and <i>tableaux vivants</i>, impromptu
+charades, thought reading, conjuring, etc., are fashionable amusements
+and easy of accomplishment: the first-named of these demands
+considerable study and plenty of time for rehearsal, therefore
+theatricals are generally engaged in when the party is composed of
+relatives rather than of acquaintances, and when the visit would be
+perhaps prolonged to ten days or a fortnight.</p>
+
+<p>Some hostesses prefer keeping late hours to early hours, and do not
+retire until after twelve; this does not commend itself to the
+gentlemen, as they are not supposed to adjourn to the smoking-room until
+the ladies have left the drawing-room, and gentlemen like to spend a
+couple of hours in the smoking-room after dinner.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">In hunting counties</span> the breakfast is usually an early one, varying from
+nine o'clock to half-past nine, according to whether the ride to covert
+is likely to be a long or a short one; but, as a rule, the nominal
+breakfast hour is 9.30 o'clock. A certain amount of latitude is allowed
+to guests as regards coming down to breakfast; they do not assemble in
+the morning-room, but all make their way to the breakfast-room, and seat
+themselves at once at table, while many ladies breakfast in their own
+rooms.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">In Scotland, an invitation to shoot</span> often means a visit of three weeks.
+The accommodation of the shooting-box or lodge may be limited or
+primitive, and it is very often both of these; but it matters very
+little to the sportsman what sort of bed he sleeps on, or how he is made
+to rough it, providing the grouse are plentiful. On some of the moors
+there are but cottages and farmhouses for the occupation of the
+sportsmen, but on others the houses are excellent, and let with the
+moors, as many take a moor season after season and invite their friends
+to shoot between the 12th of August <span class="pagenum"><a id="page217" name="page217"></a>[p.217]</span>and October. The grand
+shooting parties that are annually given in Scotland by owners of large
+estates and fine shootings extends throughout the whole of the shooting
+season, and guests come and go without intermission; as one leaves
+another arrives. Certain houses or castles are much gayer than others;
+to some very few ladies are asked, the majority of the guests being
+gentlemen&mdash;probably the hostess and two ladies and eight men&mdash;in others,
+the numbers are more equal; in others, again, the party sometimes
+consists entirely of men with a host and no hostess. Ladies generally
+ask their most intimate friends to Scotland rather than acquaintances,
+as they are left to themselves the whole of the day, dinner being often
+postponed until nine o'clock, on account of the late return of the
+sportsmen.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">South of the Tweed, September invitations</span> are usually given for three or
+four days, from Tuesday till Saturday; married couples, young ladies,
+and young men, are all asked, and the ladies find amusement in
+lawn-tennis, or in attending or assisting at some neighbouring bazaar or
+fancy fair, as in this month county bazaars are very popular, and the
+visitors at one house lend their services in conjunction with the
+visitors at another, to hold stalls at a bazaar got up by a third
+influential lady; and thus the stalls are well stocked, and the
+fashionable stall-holders give an impetus to the whole affair.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies see very little of the gentlemen between breakfast and dinner.
+The shooters start about eleven, and seldom return much before seven.</p>
+
+<p>When it is dark at four, those who prefer ladies' society and tea to the
+smoking-room and billiards, make themselves presentable and join the
+ladies.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As regards the Etiquette of Visiting at Bachelors' Houses.</span>&mdash;It is
+thoroughly understood that ladies should be accompanied by their
+husbands, and young <span class="pagenum"><a id="page218" name="page218"></a>[p.218]</span>ladies by their father and mother, or by a
+married couple with whom they are on terms of great intimacy, in which
+case the married lady acts as chaperon to the young ladies. Young ladies
+cannot stay at the house of a bachelor unless chaperoned by a married
+lady, or by a female relative of their host. A widow and her daughter
+could of course join a party of ladies staying at a bachelor's house, or
+stay on a visit to him were he alone, or entertaining bachelor friends.</p>
+
+<p>When a bachelor gives a country-house party, and nominally does the
+honours himself, occasionally one of the married ladies of the party
+tacitly takes the lead.</p>
+
+<p>The position of a young widower is similar to that of a bachelor as
+regards society. Later in life, the contrary is the case; a widower with
+grown-up daughters gives entertainments for them, and the eldest
+daughter does the honours, thus reducing the position again to that of
+host and hostess.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page219" name="page219"></a>[p.219]</span>CHAPTER XXXVI</h2>
+<h3>HUNTING AND SHOOTING</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Ladies in the Hunting-Field.</span>&mdash;There is no arena better fitted to display
+good riding on the part of women than the hunting-field, and no better
+opportunity for the practice of this delightful accomplishment and for
+its thorough enjoyment. It is urged, however, that it argues cruelty of
+disposition and unwomanly feeling to join in the pursuit of a poor,
+miserable, hunted fox, and worse still to be in at the death, and that
+women are liable to be carried away by the enthusiasm of the hour to
+applaud and to witness what they would otherwise shrink from. This
+argument has a certain weight, and deters many from actually hunting who
+would otherwise join in the sport, and they make a compromise by
+regularly attending the meets, and even witnessing a throw-off of a
+fox-break covert. Every strong point that a rider possesses is brought
+out in the field. The canter in the Row, the trot through the
+country-lanes, or the long country ride are very feeble substitutes for
+the intense enjoyment experienced when taking part in a good run; the
+excitement felt and shared in by the whole field exhilarates and
+stimulates, and renders fatigue a thing out of the question, not to be
+thought of until the homeward ride is well over.</p>
+
+<p>Considering the number of ladies who hunt, the accidents that occur are
+surprisingly few, for the obvious reason that ladies do not attempt to
+hunt unless their skill as good horsewomen is beyond all question. Their
+husbands, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page220" name="page220"></a>[p.220]</span>their fathers, their brothers would not allow them
+to jeopardise their lives, unless their riding and experience, their
+courage, their nerve, and their instruction justified the attempt.</p>
+
+<p>There are also two other weighty considerations necessary to success&mdash;a
+good mount, and a good lead. The father or husband invariably selects
+the one, and the friend&mdash;either of the fair rider or of the husband or
+brother&mdash;gives the all-important lead, without which few ladies venture
+upon hunting, save those few who are independent enough to cut out their
+own work.</p>
+
+<p>Ladies, who are naturally fond of riding, cannot always indulge in the
+pleasure of hunting, on the ground of expense, for instance. A lady may
+possess a fairly good horse for ordinary purposes, to ride in the Row,
+or for country exercise, but very few gentlemen of moderate means can
+afford to keep hunters for the ladies of their families as well as for
+themselves, although, in fiction, this is freely done. If a lady has one
+good hunter of her own, she may expect two days' hunting a week,
+providing the country is not too stiff, and the meets are fairly
+convenient. Occasionally, a mount may be obtained from a good-natured
+friend, whose stud is larger than his requirements; but this is not to
+be depended upon in every-day life, and popular ladies and first-rate
+riders are more in the way of receiving these attentions than the
+general run of ladies.</p>
+
+<p>As regards the presence of young ladies in the hunting-field, there are
+two opinions respecting its advisability, apart from the question of
+whether it is or is not a feminine pursuit. The long ride home in the
+November and December twilight, in the company of some member of the
+hunt, who has become the young lady's cavalier for the time being, is
+not to the taste of many parents; chaperonage must of necessity be
+greatly dispensed with in the hunting-field, and this is an objection
+which many fathers advance against their daughters hunting.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page221" name="page221"></a>[p.221]</span>Some husbands entertain equally strict views on this head, and
+are of opinion that the boldest rider and the best lead to follow in the
+field is not always the guest they would most desire to see at their own
+firesides.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Hunt-Breakfasts.</span>&mdash;A lady should not go to a hunt-breakfast at the house
+of a country gentleman if unacquainted with him, or some member of his
+family, unless asked to do so by a mutual acquaintance. All gentlemen
+riding to hounds, whether strangers to the host or not, have the
+privilege of entering any house where a hunt-breakfast is given and
+accepting the hospitality offered. The breakfast, which is in reality a
+cold collation, with the addition of wine, liqueurs, ale, etc., is
+usually laid out in the dining-room, and no ceremony whatever is
+observed; the gentlemen come and go as they please.</p>
+
+<p>The mistress of the house should either be present at a hunt-breakfast
+and receive the ladies who arrive in the hall or dining-room, or she
+should receive them in the drawing-room, where refreshments should be
+brought to them.</p>
+
+<p>When a hostess intends riding to hounds, she is often mounted before her
+neighbours arrive, in which case she invites them to enter the house for
+refreshments, if they care to do so.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Gentlemen who go down into a County</span> for a few days' hunting only seldom
+wear "pink," and prefer riding to hounds in black coats.</p>
+
+<p>The members of the hunt wear pink as a matter of course, but it is
+considered better taste for a stranger to wear a black coat than to
+appear in a <i>new</i>, <i>very new</i>, unspecked red one.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Sporting Terms.</span>&mdash;Persons unversed in matters appertaining to "country
+life" and "country sports," town bred, and who have had little or no
+opportunity of acquiring a knowledge of the subject from personal
+experience, can <span class="pagenum"><a id="page222" name="page222"></a>[p.222]</span>hardly fail to commit many and various
+mistakes when brought into contact with sportsmen and their sports.</p>
+
+<p>A knowledge of sporting matters and sporting terms, and the etiquette
+observed by sportsmen, is only arrived at by associating with those
+thoroughly conversant with the subject, and with whom "sport" has formed
+part of their education so to speak.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Shooting Season commences</span> on the 12th of August with grouse shooting
+in the north of England, Scotland, and Ireland. Partridge shooting
+commences on the 1st of September and terminates on the 1st of February.</p>
+
+<p>The finest partridge shooting is allowed by general consent to be found
+in the eastern counties.</p>
+
+<p>Partridge driving does not take place until January to any great extent.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Pheasant Shooting</span> commences the 1st of October and terminates the 1st of
+February.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Hares</span> may be shot up to the 1st of March.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Rabbits</span> may be shot all the year round.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Rooks</span> are shot during the spring and summer.</p>
+
+<hr class="sep1">
+
+<p>It is difficult to make a would-be sportsmen comprehend the strict
+etiquette maintained between the owners of manors; that is to say, he
+would think nothing of crossing the boundary of his host's manor, "gun
+in hand," if he felt inclined to follow a bird or hare he had wounded,
+oblivious of the fact that, in the first place, the greatest
+punctiliousness is observed between gentlemen in the matter of
+trespassing on each other's land when out shooting; and, that unless the
+greatest intimacy existed, a sportsman would hardly venture to pick up
+his dead bird if it had fallen on a <span class="pagenum"><a id="page223" name="page223"></a>[p.223]</span>neighbour's manor, and
+would on no account look for a wounded bird, but for a dead one only. In
+the second place he would carefully observe the rule of leaving his gun
+on his own side of the boundary, and would certainly not carry it with
+him to his neighbour's land. Those are points that strangers invited for
+a few days' shooting very often fall foul of, creating thereby much
+unpleasantness for their host through their ignorance and inexperience.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a gentleman is invited to join</span> a shooting-party, it would not be
+necessary for him to take a loader with him, as his host would find a
+man to perform that office for him, unless he had a servant with him
+capable of performing that duty; but if he were residing in the
+neighbourhood he would, as a matter of course, take his loader with him
+when asked to join a shooting-party, and in both cases he would shoot
+with two guns; as to shoot with one gun only causes a vexatious delay.</p>
+
+<p>A frequent cause of offence to sportsmen is for a gentleman to be noisy
+when out shooting, that is to say, to be "loudly talkative," or
+"boisterously merry," or given to indulge in exclamations when a bird
+rises, or when a bird is missed; your true sportsman maintains a strict
+silence.</p>
+
+<p>There are numberless other points relating to field sports wherein the
+"inexperienced sportsman" is apt to give offence, but which would take
+up too much space to enter into in a work of this description.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Fees, or Tips to the Gamekeepers</span>, vary from 10<i>s.</i> to <i>£</i>5,
+according to the number of days' shooting enjoyed or the extent of the
+bag.</p>
+
+<p>For one day's partridge-shooting the tip to the head gamekeeper would be
+a sovereign; for a good day's pheasant-shooting, as much as two
+sovereigns would probably be given. A gentleman who does not tip or fee
+up <span class="pagenum"><a id="page224" name="page224"></a>[p.224]</span>to this mark is not likely to find himself too well placed
+in a battue.</p>
+
+<p>The cost of a game licence is <i>£</i>3, and lasts twelve months, from 1st
+August to the 31st of July the following year, or <i>£</i>2 from the 1st of
+August to the 31st of October, or <i>£</i>2 from the 1st of November to the
+31st of July in the following year, or <i>£</i>1 for fourteen days.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page225" name="page225"></a>[p.225]</span>CHAPTER XXXVII</h2>
+<h3>SHAKING HANDS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> etiquette with regard to shaking hands is not an open question, it
+is distinct enough and simple enough for all exigencies, but yet there
+is individual temperament to be taken into account which in many drives
+etiquette out of the field, if by etiquette is understood not merely
+stiff propriety of action, but politeness in the truest sense of the
+word, and doing that which is exactly the right thing to do. Etiquette
+rules when to shake hands and when not to do so, when to bow and when
+not to bow; but in spite of this knowledge, which is within every one's
+reach, there are many mistakes made on this head.</p>
+
+<p>For instance, one does not offer to shake hands when expected to do so;
+another offers to shake hands three times; one displays unwarrantable
+warmth in shaking hands; another extends two fingers only; one shakes
+hands in a limp and uncomfortable manner, and takes the extended hand
+merely to drop it; another literally pumps the extended hand, or crushes
+the rings into a lady's fingers when shaking hands with her.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A lady who does not shake hands</span> when expected to do so is actuated by
+one or other of the following reasons&mdash;she did not wish to shake hands
+with a certain acquaintance, and preferred to bow only, or she was not
+aware whether she should have shaken hands or not.</p>
+
+<p>The gentlemen who shake hands with great warmth and <i>empressement</i> are
+two distinct individuals; the one is <span class="pagenum"><a id="page226" name="page226"></a>[p.226]</span>cordial and
+large-hearted, and has a friendly grasp for every one&mdash;a grasp
+indicative of kindliness, geniality, and good fellowship&mdash;the other
+wishes to ingratiate himself in certain quarters, and loses no
+opportunity of demonstratively shaking hands, but no one is deceived by
+this spurious imitation of the real thing.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When a lady gives but two fingers</span> to people whom she does not care
+about, she is always a person who fancies herself, and who feels very
+fine; she doubtless is, but her good breeding and her good feeling are
+both in question when she takes this method of showing the superiority
+of herself and her position over that of other people.</p>
+
+<p>There are other eccentricities indulged in by different people who shake
+hands when they should not, and people who do not shake hands when they
+should.</p>
+
+<p>It depends upon whom a lady is introduced to, or upon who is introduced
+to her, whether she should or should not shake hands. She should not
+shake hands on being casually introduced to a person altogether a
+stranger to her; but yet there are so many occasions when it is both
+proper and correct to shake hands on being introduced, that the rule on
+this head is a very elastic one.</p>
+
+<p>For instance, a host and hostess should shake hands with every stranger
+introduced to them at their house.</p>
+
+<p>A lady should shake hands on being introduced to the relations of her
+intended husband.</p>
+
+<p>A lady should shake hands on being introduced to the friend of an
+intimate friend.</p>
+
+<p>When a lady has entered into conversation to any extent with some one to
+whom she has been introduced, and finds she has much in common with her,
+she should shake hands on taking leave; but if she has only exchanged a
+few commonplace sentences, a bow would be all that is necessary.</p>
+
+<p>A lady usually takes the initiative with regard to shaking hands as with
+bowing; but in reality it is a spontaneous <span class="pagenum"><a id="page227" name="page227"></a>[p.227]</span>movement, made by
+both lady and gentleman at the same moment, as the hand ought not to be
+extended or the bow given unless expected and instantaneously
+reciprocated.</p>
+
+<p>A young lady should not offer to shake hands with one not expectant of
+the honour.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Shaking hands on taking leave</span> is, with some few people, a graceful and
+pleasant fashion of saying good-bye; intimate friends hold the hand
+while the last words are being said. Women hold each other's hands thus
+on parting, and some few men take each other's hands; but with them it
+is rather a foreign fashion, and is principally followed by those who
+have lived much on the Continent; for, as a rule, an Englishman prefers
+the hearty English shake of the hand.</p>
+
+<p>A lady having once shaken hands with another, should continue to do so
+at subsequent meetings, unless a coolness of manner warns her that a bow
+would be more acceptable.</p>
+
+<p>With regard to shaking hands at a dinner-party with acquaintances: if
+the dinner-party is a small one, and there is time to shake hands, it is
+correct to do so; but when there is little time before dinner, and no
+good opportunity for shaking hands, bows to acquaintances at distant
+parts of the room, or when seated at the dinner-table, are sufficient
+recognition for the time being.</p>
+
+<p>At an evening-party it depends upon opportunity whether acquaintances
+shake hands or not.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The fashion of raising the arm</span> when shaking hands is followed by very
+few in the exaggerated style in which it was first introduced, but a
+modification of it has distinctly become the fashion in general society.</p>
+
+<p>The hand, instead of being extended straight out, is now offered on a
+line or parallel with the chest, a trifle higher than the old-fashioned
+style, and the fingers of the hand are held and gently shaken, but the
+palm is not grasped or even touched.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page228" name="page228"></a>[p.228]</span>CHAPTER XXXVIII</h2>
+<h3>CHAPERONS AND DÉBUTANTES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">An</span> unmarried lady, unless she be a maiden-lady of a recognised age and
+standing, cannot act as an orthodox chaperon; but, on the other hand, a
+young married lady could do so with the greatest propriety, as could a
+brother from the age of eighteen; of other relatives it is not necessary
+to speak.</p>
+
+<p>Young ladies are now frequently asked to dinner-parties without a
+chaperon, a hostess constituting herself chaperon for the occasion.
+Dances are also given to which it is understood chaperons are <i>not</i>
+invited, the hostess again acting in that capacity, but at large balls
+and dances chaperonage is considered indispensable for young ladies. At
+theatres and evening concerts chaperonage is distinctly required; but at
+morning concerts and <i>matinées</i>, companionship rather than chaperonage
+is needed.</p>
+
+<p>As regards morning hours. Young ladies may now walk together in the Park
+and elsewhere; ride together, attend classes together or alone, go to
+luncheon or afternoon tea alone or together at the houses of friends and
+acquaintances, quite unaccompanied by a chaperon. They may also visit at
+country houses without a chaperon, the hostess performing this duty.</p>
+
+<p>At all out-door gatherings, such as garden-parties, tennis-parties,
+cricket-matches, golf-meetings, etc., the chaperonage required is of the
+slightest, and for which any might be made available.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page229" name="page229"></a>[p.229]</span>CHAPTER XXXIX</h2>
+<h3>PRESENTATIONS AT THE VICEREGAL COURT, DUBLIN CASTLE</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Drawing-rooms at Dublin Castle are held by the Lord-Lieutenant of
+Ireland and his wife, in St. Patrick's Hall, at 10.15 o'clock p.m.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Lady who desires</span> a presentation at the Viceregal Court must be
+presented by a lady who has herself been presented thereat, and it is
+necessary that she herself should be present on the occasion, save under
+exceptional circumstances. A lady is not allowed to present more than
+<i>two</i> ladies, except in special cases to be sanctioned by His
+Excellency.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Lady who proposes being presented</span> at a Viceregal Drawing-room must
+send to the Chamberlain's office by five o'clock, three days previous to
+the Drawing-room, a card with her name and address both in town and
+country, and the name and address of the lady by whom she is to be
+presented distinctly written thereon, and stating which Drawing-room she
+wishes to attend, to be submitted to the Lord-Lieutenant and his wife
+for their Excellencies' approval. Also two Presentation Cards must be
+obtained at the Chamberlain's office two days before the
+Drawing-room&mdash;if they have not previously been sent by post&mdash;and must be
+filled in with the necessary particulars, and taken to the Castle on the
+evening of the Drawing-room, one to be delivered to the official
+stationed in the Corridor, and the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page230" name="page230"></a>[p.230]</span>other to be handed to the
+Chamberlain, who will announce the name. It is requested that the names
+may be very distinctly written upon the cards, that there may be no
+difficulty in announcing them.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Lady attending</span> a Viceregal Drawing-room, who has been already
+presented at the Viceregal Court, must leave at the Chamberlain's
+office, three days previous to the Drawing-room, a card with her name
+and address, both in town and country, distinctly written thereon, and
+stating which Drawing-room she wishes to attend. She must bring with her
+two similar cards on the evening of the Drawing-room, one to be given to
+the official in the Corridor, and the other to the Chamberlain, who will
+announce the name.</p>
+
+<p>A lady on entering the Castle on the evening of a Drawing-room towards
+ten o'clock, finds the hall lined with soldiers, and repairs at once to
+the cloak-room to leave wraps, etc., and to have her train dexterously
+arranged over one arm by a female attendant. She then proceeds up the
+grand staircase, lined with servants in gorgeous liveries, and enters
+the Corridor, where one of the Presentation Cards is given up to the
+official in attendance, and she passes down the Corridor into the Long
+Drawing-room, where a barrier of wood, enclosing a space, is erected at
+the end. One of the gentlemen of the Household lifts this barrier at
+intervals to allow of a certain number passing through to the
+Throne-room, at the door of which her train is let down and arranged by
+men-servants. If she is to be "presented," the Chamberlain tells her to
+take off her right-hand glove, and, if royalty is present, informs her
+that she must make three bows, and says, "Three bows, please." She gives
+up her second Presentation Card to him, and he calls out her name, and
+it is passed along to His Excellency by the gentlemen of the household.
+The Lord-Lieutenant and his wife stand on a daïs, he standing in front
+of the Throne, which is a grand chair of State, and on either side&mdash;in
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page231" name="page231"></a>[p.231]</span>what are known as the "Pens"&mdash;are grouped the visitors staying
+at the Castle, those who have the private <i>entrée</i>, and the members of
+the Household. The name of the lady who makes the presentation is also
+called out. The lady presented advances, the Lord-Lieutenant shakes
+hands with her, but does not now kiss her on the cheek; she then makes
+him a bow, and bows to his wife, who bows in return. She then retires
+back to the door leading into the Long Drawing-room, where her train is
+replaced over her arm. She then proceeds to St. Patrick's Hall, or to
+the Picture Gallery.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Ladies who attend</span> the Drawing-room only bow to the Lord-Lieutenant and
+his wife; he bows to them, but he does not shake hands with them or kiss
+them. In Ireland men invariably accompany their wives to the
+Drawing-room, having previously attended the Levée; they pass along the
+base of the semi-circle, and make their bows at the same time as do the
+ladies.</p>
+
+<p>When all have been received and have assembled in St. Patrick's Hall, a
+procession is formed, the Lord-Lieutenant walking first, followed by his
+wife, whose train is carried by pages. The visitors staying at the
+Castle follow next, and then the members of the Household, the band
+stationed in the gallery playing "God Save the King" the while. All
+those present form up in two lines to make a passage for the procession
+to pass through, and bow low to His Excellency and his wife as they
+pass.</p>
+
+<p>A supper is not given, only light refreshments of every description.
+These refreshments are arranged on long tables on one side of St.
+Patrick's Hall, and at the lower end, under the gallery, tables are
+placed for tea, coffee, wine, etc. On the opposite side of the hall
+red-cushioned seats are placed, and the company promenade in and around
+the Picture Gallery and St. Patrick's Hall during the remainder of the
+evening.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page232" name="page232"></a>[p.232]</span>Ladies wear full Court dress as at Buckingham Palace, and
+gentlemen uniform or Court dress.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Levées.</span>&mdash;Every nobleman or gentleman who proposes to attend a Levée, and
+who has not yet been received at the Viceregal Court, must be introduced
+by a nobleman or gentleman who has himself been previously presented
+thereat.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Gentleman who proposes</span> to be presented must send to the Gentleman
+Usher's office by five o'clock, two or three days before the Levée, a
+card with his name and address, both in town and country, and the name
+and address of the gentleman by whom he is to be presented distinctly
+written thereon, to be submitted for the Lord-Lieutenant's approval. He
+must also obtain two Presentation Cards from the Gentleman Usher's
+office, and must take them to the Castle on the day of the Levée, the
+one to be given to the official in the Corridor, and the other to be
+handed to the Gentleman Usher, who will announce the name to the
+Lord-Lieutenant.</p>
+
+<p>Any gentleman who proposes to attend a Levée, having been previously
+presented, must also take two cards with him to the Castle on the day of
+the Levée, with his name and address, both in town and country, clearly
+written thereon, to be given up as before mentioned. Again, a gentleman
+who, having previously attended the Levée, proposes attending the
+Drawing-room, is requested to bring with him <i>one</i> card, with his name
+distinctly written upon it, to be left in the Corridor. All those
+entitled to the private <i>entrée</i> at Dublin Castle, and availing
+themselves of the privilege, are permitted to be accompanied only by
+their wives and unmarried daughters.</p>
+
+<p>Gentlemen wear Court dress or naval and military uniforms, or the
+uniforms of Lords-Lieutenants of Counties, or of the Royal Irish
+Constabulary, etc. The Academical <span class="pagenum"><a id="page233" name="page233"></a>[p.233]</span>habit cannot be worn except
+when presenting an address from a university. Foreign orders and
+decorations cannot be worn at the Court of Dublin by British subjects
+without special authority under His Majesty's royal licence.</p>
+
+<p>The right-hand glove should be removed before Presentation.</p>
+
+<p>Gentlemen who, having previously attended the Levée, are desirous of
+accompanying the ladies of their families to the Drawing-room, are
+requested to apply to the Chamberlain's office for an Attendance Card,
+which should be brought to the Castle on the evening of the Drawing-room
+and given up in the Corridor.</p>
+
+<p>Presentations in London do not count as Presentations at the Viceregal
+Court.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page234" name="page234"></a>[p.234]</span>CHAPTER XL</h2>
+<h3>HOSTESSES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Art of receiving Guests</span> is a very subtle one, difficult to acquire;
+but when acquired and thoroughly mastered it confers upon a mistress of
+a house an enviable reputation&mdash;that of being a perfect hostess.</p>
+
+<p>With some this is in-bred, and grace and composure and all the attendant
+attributes which are to be found in this type of hostess sit naturally
+upon them; but the individuals so gifted represent the few rather than
+the many. A far greater section of society has to rely upon experience
+to teach them this useful accomplishment, while with others time alone
+can aid them in overcoming natural reserve, and want of confidence in
+themselves, which stand in the way of their assuming this character with
+anything like success. Those ladies who are innately thoughtless and
+careless in this respect, neither time nor experience can mould, and
+what they are at the commencement of their career, they remain to the
+end of the chapter&mdash;very indifferent hostesses. There are varieties of
+hostesses, according to individual capabilities, and who are known
+amongst their friends by these appellations: first ranks the perfect or
+"charming hostess," either title suits her equally well; next to her
+comes the "good hostess," she is followed by the one who is "not a good
+hostess"; and the rear is brought up by the one who is decidedly "a bad
+hostess." Amongst the salient points which distinguish the perfect or
+charming hostess are perhaps, foremost, a certain facility <span class="pagenum"><a id="page235" name="page235"></a>[p.235]</span>of
+putting each individual guest at ease, conveying that the welcome she
+accords is a personal if not an especial one. Simultaneously with these
+agreeable impressions is conveyed a sense of the hostess's genial
+qualities; her charm of manner, her graciousness and her courteous
+bearing evincing so plainly that she is entirely mistress of the
+situation: these qualities insensibly react upon the guests, and evoke a
+corresponding desire to please on their part.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The perfect hostess</span> possesses yet another advantage, viz. a readiness of
+speech, a faculty of saying the right thing at the right moment and to
+the right person, and of identifying herself, so to speak, with the
+susceptibilities of each of her guests.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The good hostess</span> is essentially what is known as a considerate hostess;
+she makes up for the brighter qualities in which she is lacking by her
+extreme consideration for her guests. In the charming hostess this
+consideration is eclipsed by her more brilliant powers of pleasing, it
+permeates all she does, while in the good hostess it is her strongest
+point, and upon which is founded her claim to the name. The lady who
+bears the undesirable reputation of being "not a good hostess" is not
+"good" in a variety of ways; she means well and does her utmost to
+succeed, but by some contrariety of the laws which regulate domestic and
+social affairs, the results of her efforts are always the reverse of
+what she would have them be. The lady who is not a good hostess
+sometimes suffers from shyness and reserve which renders her stiff in
+manner when she would most desire to be cordial, silent when she would
+be most loquacious, and awkward when she would be at ease.</p>
+
+<p>As there are many reasons why ladies prove to be good hostesses, so
+there are many reasons why they prove bad <span class="pagenum"><a id="page236" name="page236"></a>[p.236]</span>hostesses,
+selfishness and want of consideration for others contribute to these, as
+do procrastination and a vague idea of the value of time. Ladies with
+such faults and weaknesses as these produce very much the same
+impression upon their guests, although, perhaps, one is a little less
+culpable than is the other.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The selfish hostess is a bad hostess</span>, because, providing she is amused,
+she is utterly indifferent as to whether her guests are amused or not,
+her own pleasure and gratification being of paramount importance.
+Instead of being in readiness to receive her guests she descends late to
+the drawing-room to welcome them, and is indifferent as to whether there
+is any one to greet them or not.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The procrastinating hostess</span>, although she is equally in fault, yet, as
+she hastens to excuse herself, when lacking in politeness to, or
+consideration for her guests, her excuses are sometimes admitted; but
+the selfish hostess, if she deigns to excuse herself, does so with such
+a palpable show of indifference as to her guests' opinion of her
+actions, that the excuse is oftener than not an aggravation of the
+offence. A lady who has no regard for time goes to her room to dress at
+the moment when she should be descending to the drawing-room; or she
+remains out driving when she should be returning; or she puts off making
+some very important arrangement for the comfort or amusement of her
+guests until it is too late for anything but a makeshift to be thought
+of, if it has not to be dispensed with altogether. Everything that she
+does or projects is on the same scale of procrastination; her
+invitations, her orders and engagements, are one and all effected
+against time, and neither herself nor her guests gain the value or
+satisfaction of the hospitality put forth. The bad hostess walks into
+her drawing-room when many of her guests are assembled, either for a
+dinner-party or afternoon tea, and shakes <span class="pagenum"><a id="page237" name="page237"></a>[p.237]</span>hands in an awkward,
+abashed manner, almost as if she were an unexpected guest instead of the
+mistress of the house.</p>
+
+<p>The host is not at his ease; he is provoked at having to make excuses
+for his wife, and the guests are equally constrained.</p>
+
+<p>If the host is of a sarcastic turn of mind, he never refrains from
+saying something the reverse of amiable to the hostess on her entrance.
+"My dear," he will perhaps remark, "you are doubtless not aware that we
+have friends dining with us this evening." This remark renders the
+guests even more uncomfortable and the hostess less self-possessed, and
+this is often the prelude to an inharmonious evening, with a host whose
+brow is clouded and a hostess whose manner is abashed.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The mode of receiving guests</span> is determined by the nature of the
+entertainment. A welcome accorded to some two or three hundred guests
+cannot be as personal a one as that offered to some ten to thirty
+guests.</p>
+
+<p>Whatever disappointment a hostess may feel she should not allow it to
+appear on the surface, and should not be <i>distrait</i> in manner when
+shaking hands with her guests. At large or small gatherings
+disappointments follow in the course of events, and very few hostesses
+can say that they have not experienced this in a larger or smaller
+degree at each and all of their entertainments.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">At a ball or evening-party</span> a hostess should receive her guests at the
+head of the staircase, and should remain there until the majority, if
+not all, of the guests have arrived.</p>
+
+<p>As the names of the guests are announced the hostess should shake hands
+with each, addressing some courteous observation the while, not with a
+view of inducing them to linger on the staircase, but rather of inviting
+them to enter the ball-room to make way for other guests.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page238" name="page238"></a>[p.238]</span>At a ball given at a country house the hostess should stand at
+the door of the ball-room and receive her guests. When the guests have
+duly arrived, a hostess at a country-house ball or country-house
+theatricals should exert herself to see that all her guests are amused.
+If she sees that the young ladies are not dancing she should endeavour
+to find them partners. In town she is not required to do this. If the
+chaperons have apparently no one to talk to she should introduce one of
+her own relatives, if she cannot give much of her own attention to them,
+and she should arrange that all her guests are taken in to supper.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">At large afternoon "at homes"</span> the hostess receives her guests at the
+open door of the drawing-room, and has little more time to bestow upon
+each than at a ball or an "at home." At small afternoon "at homes" she
+should receive them in the drawing-room, and should rise and shake hands
+with each arrival.</p>
+
+<p>A hostess should receive her dinner guests in the drawing-room, and
+should shake hands with each in the order of arrival. She occasionally
+finds it a trying ordeal to sustain conversation between the arrival of
+dinner guests and the dinner being served; sometimes this is prolonged
+for three-quarters of an hour through the non-appearance of a guest who
+must be waited for. A hostess should, although she knows that her dinner
+is spoilt by being thus kept back, endeavour to make the time pass as
+pleasantly as possible, by rendering the conversation general and by
+making the guests acquainted with each other. The hostess who can tide
+over these awkward occurrences so that the postponement of dinner from
+half to three-quarters of an hour is hardly perceived, proves herself to
+be entitled to be considered a good hostess.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page239" name="page239"></a>[p.239]</span>CHAPTER XLI</h2>
+<h3>THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF LADY PATRONESSES OF PUBLIC BALLS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Ladies are frequently solicited</span> to allow their names to be placed on the
+lists of lady patronesses of charity balls. A ball committee is desirous
+of obtaining a list of influential names to lend <i>éclat</i> and prestige to
+the ball, and a charity ball often numbers amongst its lady patronesses
+the names of many of the leading members of the nobility, followed by
+those of the wives of the leading county gentry, or by the principal
+residents of a watering-place or county town; but it is understood, as a
+rule, that the duty of giving vouchers or tickets for a charity ball is
+undertaken by those ladies who are more directly interested in it, whose
+husbands are on the committee, who make a point of annually attending
+it, and thus are principally concerned in keeping it select; and
+although in many counties and in many towns lady patronesses, members of
+the nobility, do attend, yet it not unfrequently happens that out of a
+long list of great ladies only three or four are present at a ball.</p>
+
+<p>The members of the leading nobility and gentry of a neighbourhood
+invariably lend their names to local charity balls, and head the list of
+patrons and patronesses, but beyond lending their names, and in some
+cases sending a subscription of money towards the funds of the charity,
+or a present of game towards the supper, they have very little to do
+with the ball itself, which is practically in the hands <span class="pagenum"><a id="page240" name="page240"></a>[p.240]</span>of the
+local stewards. The exceptions to this rule are the charity balls held
+in town during the season, such as the Royal Caledonian Ball, the
+Yorkshire, the Wiltshire, and the Somersetshire Societies' Balls. On
+these occasions many of the great ladies give vouchers and attend the
+balls.</p>
+
+<p>When ladies consent to become lady patronesses of a ball, they usually
+notify to the committee whether they will or will not undertake the duty
+of giving vouchers or tickets, as the case may be. Some ball committees
+arrange that vouchers are to be given by lady patronesses, to be
+subsequently exchanged for tickets, signed and filled in with the name
+of the person to whom the ticket is given. The lady patronesses in this
+case receive the money charged for the tickets, and forward it to the
+committee after the ball, with any tickets that they may not have
+disposed of.</p>
+
+<p>The ladies who exert themselves to sell tickets are generally those who
+possess a large acquaintance, whose husbands are members of clubs;
+therefore, if any person ought to be tabooed for some good social
+reason, the lady patronesses reap the benefit of their husbands'
+knowledge, and are thus able to give a polite refusal when tickets are
+applied for for persons who are not altogether desirable.</p>
+
+<p>It is no doubt a difficult and delicate task for the lady patronesses of
+a large ball to keep it thoroughly select, and if not very particular
+respecting those for whom tickets are granted, a ball, though a full
+one, is likely to prove a very mixed affair, if not somewhat
+objectionable, by reason of the presence of persons to whom tickets
+should never have been granted, on moral if not on social grounds; and
+though the funds of a charity may gain considerably by the increase of
+numbers, through a general willingness on the part of the committee or
+the lady patronesses to grant tickets to every one who may apply for
+them, yet such policy is very short-sighted, and is seldom practised by
+<span class="pagenum"><a id="page241" name="page241"></a>[p.241]</span>those who possess any practical knowledge in the matter, as it
+is fatal to the reputation of a ball if persons who are objectionable
+are present at it.</p>
+
+<p>In the case of a ticket being applied for for a person of doubtful
+antecedents, a lady patroness's best course is to refer the applicant to
+the ball committee for tickets or vouchers.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Persons not well received in society</span>, or who have ostracised themselves,
+have a predilection for public balls, and make every effort to obtain
+tickets of admission; and in some cases, when a refusal has been
+pronounced by the committee of a ball, the committee has been threatened
+with legal proceedings.</p>
+
+<p>Unmarried ladies seldom or ever act as lady patronesses, it not being
+considered advisable to place the discretion of granting tickets in
+their hands, lest their ignorance of the world should be taken advantage
+of.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The lady patronesses of a charity ball</span> who undertake to give vouchers or
+to sell tickets, usually exert themselves to the utmost in inducing as
+many of their friends as possible to attend the ball.</p>
+
+<p>It depends upon the committee of a charity ball whether tickets are
+presented or not to the lady patronesses and stewards; but if the funds
+of the charity are not at a very low ebb, this is generally done in
+recognition of their services.</p>
+
+<p>The responsibilities of lady patronesses of private subscription balls
+are light in comparison with those of public charity balls, as persons
+who attend subscription balls are usually on the visiting lists of one
+or other of the lady patronesses, while with regard to county balls,
+lady patronesses are not usually concerned in the disposal of the
+tickets.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page242" name="page242"></a>[p.242]</span>CHAPTER XLII</h2>
+<h3>PERIODS OF MOURNING</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Various Periods of Mourning</span> for relatives have within the last few
+years been materially shortened, and the change generally accepted; but
+as some still prefer to adhere to the longest periods prescribed by
+custom, in the present chapter both periods are given, and it entirely
+depends upon individual feeling and circumstances which of the two
+periods is observed.</p>
+
+<p>The time-honoured custom of wearing crape has greatly declined, and with
+the exception of widows, many do not wear it at all, while others wear
+it as a trimming only.</p>
+
+<p>A slighter change has also taken place in favour of half-mourning
+colours, which are now more worn than black and white during the
+half-mourning period.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Court Mourning</span> when enjoined is imperative, the orders respecting which
+are minutely given from the Lord Chamberlain's office and published in
+the official <i>Gazette</i>; but these orders only apply to persons connected
+with the Court, or to persons attending Courts, Levées, State Balls,
+State Concerts, etc.</p>
+
+<p>When the order for general mourning is given on the death of any member
+of the Royal Family, the order applies to all, although it is optional
+whether the general public comply with it or not.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Longest Period for a Widow's Mourning</span> is two years. The shorter
+period is eighteen months. <span class="pagenum"><a id="page243" name="page243"></a>[p.243]</span>Formerly crape was worn for one
+year and nine months; for the first twelve months the dress was entirely
+covered with crape. The newer fashion in widows' mourning is to wear
+crape as a trimming only, and to discontinue its wear after six or eight
+months, while some few widows do not wear it at all during their
+mourning, it being optional wear.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Half-Mourning</span> in the longer period commences after a year and nine
+months, and is worn for three months. In the shorter period
+half-mourning may commence after fifteen months, and be continued for
+three months.</p>
+
+<p>The period for wearing the widow's cap and veil is a year and a day. The
+veil may be <i>crêpe lisse</i> or <i>chiffon</i> in place of crape. It is now the
+fashion for young widows to wear the cap as a head-dress only, while
+others do not wear it at all.</p>
+
+<p>Lawn cuffs and collars are worn during the first year, or for six months
+only, or not at all. After the first year white neckbands and white
+strings to the bonnet may be worn. Also hats in place of bonnets.
+Further touches of white may follow during the next three months.</p>
+
+<p>After a year gold ornaments may be worn; diamonds earlier.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Widowers</span> should wear mourning for one year; they usually enter society
+after three months.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Parent</span> the period of mourning is twelve months; ten months black,
+two months half-mourning, or eight months black and four months
+half-mourning. The black may be relieved with touches of white after
+three months. Crape is optional; many prefer not to wear it at all,
+others as a trimming.</p>
+
+<p>Diamonds&mdash;earrings, brooches, etc.&mdash;before gold, at the end of three
+months.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page244" name="page244"></a>[p.244]</span><span class="subchap">For a Son or Daughter</span> the period of mourning is identical with
+the foregoing.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For very Young Children or Infants</span> the mourning is frequently shortened
+by half this period, or even to three months.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Stepmother.</span>&mdash;The period of mourning depends upon whether the
+stepdaughters reside at home or not, or whether their father has been
+long married, or whether their father's second wife has filled the place
+of mother to them, in which case the period of mourning would be for
+twelve months, otherwise the period is six months&mdash;four months black
+relieved with touches of white after two months, followed by two months
+half-mourning.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Brother or Sister</span> the longest period of mourning is six months,
+the shortest period four months.</p>
+
+<p>During the longest period, viz. six months, black should be worn for
+five months, with a little white after two months, half-mourning for one
+month. After one month diamonds, pins, and brooches, etc.; gold after
+two months.</p>
+
+<p>During the shortest period, viz. four months, black should be worn for
+two months, half-mourning two months.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Sister-in-law or a Brother-in-law</span> the period of mourning was
+formerly the same as for a brother or sister, but the four months'
+period is now the one usually chosen.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Grandparent</span> the longest period of mourning is six months, the
+shortest four months.</p>
+
+<p>During the longest period black should be worn for three months,
+relieved with white after six weeks, half-mourning for three months;
+diamonds after one month, gold after six weeks or two months.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page245" name="page245"></a>[p.245]</span>During the shortest period black should be worn for two months,
+half-mourning for two months.</p>
+
+<p>The custom of wearing crape may now be said to have gone out of fashion
+as regards etiquette, black being considered adequate mourning, save in
+the case of widows.</p>
+
+<p>The former crape periods were six months for parents and children, three
+months for brothers and sisters, three months for grandparents.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For an Uncle or Aunt</span> the longest period of mourning is three months, the
+shortest period six weeks.</p>
+
+<p>During the longest period black (no crape) should be worn for two
+months, half-mourning one month.</p>
+
+<p>During the shortest period black for three weeks, half-mourning for
+three weeks; diamonds after three weeks.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Nephew or Niece</span> the periods of mourning are identical with the
+foregoing.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For an Uncle or Aunt by Marriage</span> the period is six weeks black, or three
+weeks black and three weeks half-mourning.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Great Uncle or Aunt</span> the longest period is two months, the shortest
+one month.</p>
+
+<p>During the longest period black for one month, half-mourning for one
+month.</p>
+
+<p>During the shortest period black for one month.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a First Cousin</span> the longest period is six weeks, the shortest one
+month.</p>
+
+<p>During the longest period black for three weeks, half-mourning for three
+weeks.</p>
+
+<p>During the shortest period black for one month.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page246" name="page246"></a>[p.246]</span><span class="subchap">For a Second Cousin</span> three weeks black. Mourning for a second
+cousin is not obligatory, but quite optional, and often not worn.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Husband's Relations</span> the periods of mourning chosen are invariably
+the shorter ones.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Daughter-in-law or Son-in-law</span> the periods are now shortened to six
+months; four months black and two months half-mourning, or three months
+black and three months half-mourning.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For the Parents of a Son-in-law or Daughter-in-law</span> the period is one
+month, black.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For the Parents of a First Wife</span> a second wife should wear mourning for
+one month, black relieved with white.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Brother or Sister of a First Wife</span> a second wife should wear
+mourning for three weeks, but this is not obligatory, and depends upon
+the intimacy existing between the two families.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Much Latitude is allowed to Men</span> with regard to the foregoing periods of
+mourning.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Hat-band should be worn</span> during the whole of each period, but it is not
+imperative to wear suits of black longer than half the periods given,
+save in the case of widowers.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Servants' Mourning.</span>&mdash;It is customary to give servants mourning on the
+death of the head of the house, which should be worn during the period
+the members of the family <span class="pagenum"><a id="page247" name="page247"></a>[p.247]</span>are in mourning. Mourning given to
+servants on the death of a son or daughter is quite an optional matter.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Seclusion from Society.</span>&mdash;The question as to how soon persons in mourning
+should or should not re-enter society is in some measure an open one,
+and is also influenced by the rules that govern the actual period of
+mourning adopted.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Widow is not expected to enter into Society</span> under three months, and
+during that time she should neither accept invitations nor issue them.
+Her visiting should be confined to her relations and intimate friends.
+After three months she should commence gradually to enter into society,
+but balls and dances should be avoided during the first year.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Daughter mourning for a Parent</span> the period of seclusion is six
+weeks as far as general society is concerned; but invitations to balls
+and dances should not be accepted until after six months.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Parent mourning for a Son or Daughter</span> the period of seclusion is
+the same as is that of a daughter for a parent.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For a Brother or Sister</span> the period of seclusion is three weeks.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For Grandparents</span> the period of seclusion is from a fortnight to three
+weeks.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For an Uncle or Aunt</span> the period is a fortnight to three weeks.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">For all Other Periods of Mourning</span> seclusion from society is not
+considered requisite.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page248" name="page248"></a>[p.248]</span><span class="subchap">When Persons in Mourning</span> intend entering again into society,
+they should leave cards on their friends and acquaintances as an
+intimation that they are equal to paying and receiving calls.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When Cards of Inquiry have been left</span>, viz. visiting cards with "To
+inquire after Mrs. A&mdash;&mdash;" written on the top on right-hand corner of the
+cards, they should be returned by cards with "Thanks for kind inquiries"
+written upon them (see <a href="#chap3">Chapter III.</a>).</p>
+
+<p>Until this intimation has been given, society does not venture to
+intrude upon the seclusion of those in mourning.</p>
+
+<p>Relations and intimate friends are exempt from this received rule.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Funerals.</span>&mdash;When a death occurs in a family, as soon as the day and hour
+for the funeral are fixed, a member of the family should write to those
+relatives and friends it is desired should follow, and should ask them
+to attend, unless the date, time, and place of the funeral, and the
+train by which to travel to the cemetery, are mentioned in the
+newspaper, together with the announcement of the death.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">It is a Mistake to suppose that Friends</span> will offer to attend a funeral,
+even if they are aware of the date fixed, as they are naturally in doubt
+as to whether the mourners are to include the members of the family
+only, or whether friends are to be included also.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">In the Country, when a Doctor</span> has attended a family for some years, it
+is usual to invite him to attend the funeral of one of its members. In
+town this is seldom done, unless a medical man is the intimate friend of
+the family.</p>
+
+<p>In the country the clergyman of the parish reads the funeral service,
+but in town, when the funeral takes place at Kensal Green, Brookwood
+Cemetery, or elsewhere, a <span class="pagenum"><a id="page249" name="page249"></a>[p.249]</span>friend of the family is usually
+asked to officiate; in which case it is necessary to make an early
+application at the office of the cemetery for the use of the chapel at a
+particular hour.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">It is customary for Ladies to attend</span> the funeral of a relative if
+disposed to do so, in which case they wear their usual mourning attire,
+and follow in their own carriages.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Doctor's Certificate</span> as to the cause of death is of primary
+importance, and should be obtained at the earliest possible moment.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Memorial Cards should not be sent</span> on the death of a relative, being
+quite out of date as regards fashion and custom.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Wreaths and Crosses</span> of white flowers are very generally sent by
+relatives and friends to a house of mourning the day of the funeral,
+unless "No flowers, by request" follows the announcement of the death.</p>
+
+<p>When the funeral takes place before two o'clock, the friends should be
+invited to luncheon. When it takes place in the afternoon, they should
+be asked to return to the house for tea or light refreshment.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page250" name="page250"></a>[p.250]</span>CHAPTER XLIII</h2>
+<h3>ENGAGED</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">It</span> greatly depends upon the views held by parents as to the freedom of
+action accorded to a daughter during her engagement. Some entertain the
+strictest ideas on this head, and strenuously put them in force.</p>
+
+<p>By "strict ideas" is meant that an engaged couple, except in the
+presence of a chaperon, are never, under any circumstances, permitted to
+enjoy a <i>tête-à-tête</i>, sit together, walk together, ride together, or
+meet during any part of the day.</p>
+
+<p>Wisdom and common-sense dictate a middle course of action for the
+consideration of parents, neither granting too much nor withholding too
+much.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The length of an engagement</span> determines in most instances the degree of
+latitude allowed. If it is to last two months, or even less, it is usual
+to permit the engaged couple to be much in each other's society. The
+circumstances under which this is accomplished depend upon the position
+of the parents; if wealthy, and a country house is part of their
+possessions, the young lady's father should invite the gentleman engaged
+to his daughter on a visit, or one or two visits, during the engagement.</p>
+
+<p>Or the mother of the bridegroom-elect should invite her future
+daughter-in-law to stay with her for ten days or a fortnight.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page251" name="page251"></a>[p.251]</span>Etiquette prescribes that a young lady must be chaperoned by
+one of her near relatives at all public places of amusement.</p>
+
+<p>If an engaged couple move in the same set, they meet frequently at the
+houses of mutual friends; they are sent in to dinner together when
+dining out.</p>
+
+<p>To dance with each other at a ball, or dance more than three or four
+times in succession, and when not dancing to sit out in tea-rooms and
+conservatories, renders an engaged couple conspicuous, and this is
+precisely what many mothers are most anxious that their daughters should
+avoid being, and would rather that they were over-prudent than that they
+should run the gauntlet of general criticism.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The usual course for engaged couples</span> to take is to go as little into
+society as possible during their engagement, and to make the engagement
+as brief as circumstances will permit. If from various causes it must of
+necessity be a long one, the only alternative for an engaged couple is
+to render themselves as little conspicuous in general society as a
+mutual understanding will permit.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">When an engagement is first announced</span>, if the families are not
+previously acquainted, the father, mother, and relatives of the
+bridegroom-elect should call on the father and mother of the bride-elect
+at an early date, to make the acquaintance of the bride and her family,
+and they should write to the bride-elect expressing their approval of
+the engagement.</p>
+
+<p>The calls should be returned and the letters answered with the least
+possible delay.</p>
+
+<p>The engagement should be announced to relatives and intimate friends by
+the mother of the engaged young lady, and if the announcement is to
+appear in the papers it should be sent by her.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page252" name="page252"></a>[p.252]</span>The bride should ask the sisters and cousins of the bridegroom
+to act as bridesmaids in conjunction with her own sisters and cousins.</p>
+
+<p>When an engagement is broken off, all letters and presents should be
+returned on both sides.</p>
+
+<p>All wedding presents received by the bride-elect should be likewise
+returned to the donors.</p>
+
+<p>The mother of the bride should announce to all whom it may concern, the
+fact that the engagement is at an end.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page253" name="page253"></a>[p.253]</span>CHAPTER XLIV</h2>
+<h3>SILVER WEDDINGS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">The</span> German custom of celebrating Silver Weddings has become thoroughly
+recognised in this country. It is an interesting custom to celebrate the
+first twenty-five years of married life under the poetic title of a
+Silver Wedding, but those who can do so must be for many reasons the
+few, rather than the many; Royal personages, and distinguished and
+prominent ones for instance, and again, those in humbler walks of life
+"far from the madding crowd," are also inclined to do so; but the
+"crowd" that divides them, formed of different classes and different
+sets in society, will hardly avail itself of the opportunity of
+celebrating this period of married life. Husbands as a rule dislike the
+fuss and parade and prominency it entails, and wives are disinclined to
+announce to their friends and acquaintances that they have been married
+five and twenty years, and are consequently not so young as they were.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The entertainments given to celebrate a Silver Wedding</span> are: An afternoon
+reception and a dinner-party. A dinner-party followed by an
+evening-party. A dinner-party followed by a dance. Or a dinner-party
+only, of some twenty or thirty covers.</p>
+
+<p>The invitations are issued on "at home" cards some three weeks
+beforehand, the cards being printed in silver, and the words "Mr. and
+Mrs. White at home, To celebrate their Silver Wedding" printed on them,
+with day and date, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page254" name="page254"></a>[p.254]</span>etc. The dinner cards should also be
+printed in silver, with the words "Mr. and Mrs. White request the
+pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Black's company at dinner to celebrate their
+Silver Wedding," etc.</p>
+
+<p>For a dance the invitations should be worded "Mr. and Mrs. White at
+home, To celebrate their Silver Wedding." "Dancing" printed in the
+corner of the card.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Each person invited</span> is expected to send a present in silver, costly or
+trifling as the case may be, whether the invitation is accepted or not.
+These presents should be exhibited in the drawing-room on the day of the
+Silver Wedding with a card attached to each bearing the name of the
+giver.</p>
+
+<p>At the afternoon reception the husband and wife receive the
+congratulations of their friends as they arrive. They enter the tea-room
+together almost immediately afterwards followed by those guests who have
+arrived. Refreshments are served as at an afternoon wedding tea. (See
+<a href="#page143">page 143</a>) A large wedding-cake is placed in the centre of the table, and
+the wife makes the first cut in it as a bride would do. The health of
+the husband and wife is then proposed by one of the guests, drunk in
+champagne, and responded to by the husband.</p>
+
+<p>At the dinner-party the husband and wife go in to dinner together,
+followed by their guests, who are sent in according to precedency. The
+health of the husband and wife is proposed at dessert and responded to.
+A wedding-cake occupies a prominent place on the table, and the
+dinner-table decorations consist of white flowers interspersed with
+silver.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">At the Silver Wedding dance</span>, the husband and wife dance the first dance
+together, and subsequently lead the way into the supper-room arm-in-arm,
+and later on their health is proposed by the principal guest present.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page255" name="page255"></a>[p.255]</span>The wife should wear white and silver, or grey and silver.</p>
+
+<p>In the country, when a Silver Wedding is celebrated, the festivities
+sometimes range over three days, but this only in the case of prominent
+and wealthy people; balls, dinners, and school-treats being given, in
+which the neighbours, tenants, villagers and servants take part.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Golden Weddings.</span>&mdash;The celebration of a Golden Wedding is rather an
+English custom, and one that from circumstances can be but seldom
+observed. It denotes that fifty years of married life have passed over
+the heads of husband and wife, and is a solemn rather than a festive
+epoch. Presents on this occasion are not so generally given, and
+children and grandchildren rather than acquaintances make up the circle
+of those who offer congratulations.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page256" name="page256"></a>[p.256]</span>CHAPTER XLV</h2>
+<h3>SUBSCRIPTION DANCES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Subscription</span> dances are now an established fact, but whether they will
+ever really become a rival to the dance proper remains to be seen; yet
+as they supply a want felt, and are recognised by society, the
+arrangements necessary for carrying them out should be duly noted.</p>
+
+<p>During the winter months they are a feature in certain sets:
+Subscription dances, private Subscription dances and public Subscription
+dances, the latter got up for charitable purposes.</p>
+
+<p>The moderate expenses incurred by giving private Subscription dances
+commend them to many, and there are other reasons to account for their
+popularity. They are without pretension to being considered smart or
+exclusive, and are essentially small and early dances. Fashionable
+ball-goers are not expected to attend them. They commence at 9 o'clock
+and terminate at 12, light refreshments in lieu of supper are provided,
+as at an afternoon "at home." (See <a href="#page153">p. 153.</a>) A piano band is considered
+sufficient for the purpose, and floral decorations are scarcely ever
+attempted. The invitations are issued on "at home" cards, with the words
+"Subscription Dance" printed in one corner.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Subscription dances</span> are sometimes invitation dances and sometimes not.
+Tickets for these dances are charged <span class="pagenum"><a id="page257" name="page257"></a>[p.257]</span>for singly or by the
+series as the case may be. A certain number of ladies form a committee
+and agree to give a certain number of dances, and the expenses are
+either borne by the ladies themselves or covered by the sale of the
+tickets. If invitation dances, a certain number of invitations are
+allotted to each lady. When otherwise, the ladies dispose of the tickets
+among their friends. These dances are usually held in a mansion hired
+for the purpose, and there are several available in different parts of
+the West End, where spacious rooms can be hired on very moderate terms;
+in some instances a piano, seats, and other accessories are also
+included.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Public Subscription</span> dances are held in public rooms or Town Halls, and
+vouchers are given by ladies on the committee previous to tickets being
+granted.</p>
+
+<p>The same etiquette holds good at Subscription dances as at other public
+dances. The early hour at which these dances take place recommends them
+to some and altogether renders them impossible to others, notably to
+those who dine late, and who are not inclined to dance at nine o'clock
+or even at ten o'clock, and who rather resent the frugal style of
+refreshments offered, and consider that a champagne supper is an
+indispensable adjunct to a dance.</p>
+
+<p>It should be remembered that Subscription dances were first originated
+for the amusement of very young people, and it was never expected that
+they would compete with the fashionable small dances of the day; their
+popularity was a surprise, and if ball-goers are disposed to hold them
+in contempt there are others less fashionable and less wealthy who find
+them very much to their taste.</p>
+
+<p>The great difficulty, however, that ladies have to contend with is the
+fact that very few men can be induced to attend them, and that those who
+do accept invitations or purchase tickets are very young men, who have
+their way to make in <span class="pagenum"><a id="page258" name="page258"></a>[p.258]</span>the world, and are as yet on the lower
+rungs of the ladder, and as young ladies are very much in the majority
+at these Subscription dances, to dance with partners younger than
+themselves is an almost inevitable result for those who are no longer in
+their teens.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page259" name="page259"></a>[p.259]</span>CHAPTER XLVI</h2>
+<h3>GIVING PRESENTS</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">As</span> regards presents in general it should be understood that a present
+demands a note of thanks in all cases when the thanks cannot be verbally
+expressed. The notes to slight acquaintances should be written in the
+third person. To friends, in the first person. This applies equally to
+presents of game, poultry, fruit, or flowers. Some few people entertain
+the erroneous idea that presents of this nature do not require thanks.
+This is not only ungracious but raises a doubt in the mind of the giver
+as to whether the present sent has been duly received.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Wedding Presents.</span>&mdash;When an engagement has been duly announced to
+relatives and friends, and it is understood that it is to be a short
+one, wedding presents may be sent until the day before the wedding-day,
+and the earlier they are sent the more convenient it is for the bride,
+as she is expected to write a note of thanks to each giver. In each case
+a letter should be sent with the present expressing the congratulations
+and best wishes of the donor, and, if possible, a card with the name of
+the giver should be attached to it for identification when the presents
+are exhibited.</p>
+
+<p>The friends of the bridegroom, and unacquainted with the bride, should
+send their presents to him, and he should send them to the house of the
+bride's mother after having written notes of thanks to the givers.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a id="page260" name="page260"></a>[p.260]</span><span class="subchap">Christening Presents.</span>&mdash;With regard to christening presents the
+godfathers and godmothers are expected to make presents to their
+godchild; these should be sent the day before the christening, and
+should consist of a silver mug and silver fork and spoon from the
+godfathers, while a lace robe or handsome cloak are usual presents from
+the godmothers. A present of money from 5<i>s.</i> to <i>£</i>1 should be made to
+the nurse on the day of the christening when the godparents are
+relatives, but oftener than not the sponsors are represented by proxy.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Giving Tips to Servants.</span>&mdash;The tips expected from ladies at the
+conclusion of a visit of some days, are: To the head housemaid from
+2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> to 5<i>s.</i> according to the length of the visit. The same to
+the butler or single-handed man servant, and the same to the chauffeur.
+Young ladies give less when visiting by themselves.</p>
+
+<p>The tips expected from gentlemen are: To the butler or footman who
+valets them, to the chauffeur if he drives them to and from the station,
+to the groom if he takes charge of their hunters, also to the head
+housemaid. The tip to the butler or footman who acts as valet is for a
+long visit from 5<i>s.</i> to 10<i>s.</i>, and for a short visit from 3<i>s.</i> to
+5<i>s.</i> To the chauffeur 5<i>s.</i> in the first case, and from 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> to
+5<i>s.</i> in the second. To the housemaid, 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> to 5<i>s.</i> For tips to
+gamekeeper, see <a href="#page223">p. 223.</a></p>
+
+<p>The tips given to hotel servants vary according to the length of the
+visit. To the head waiter from 5<i>s.</i> to 10<i>s.</i> To the second waiter from
+2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> to 5<i>s.</i> To the hall porter, 2<i>s.</i> to 3<i>s.</i> To the luggage
+porter, 1<i>s.</i> to 2<i>s.</i> To the head housemaid in attendance, 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>
+to 4<i>s.</i></p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page261" name="page261"></a>[p.261]</span>CHAPTER XLVII</h2>
+<h3>CHRISTENING PARTIES</h3>
+
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Christening Parties</span> may be said to be strictly family gatherings, only
+the near relatives of the parents being invited on these occasions.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Invitations</span> are given in friendly notes, and are not issued on "at
+home" cards. The notice averages from a week to ten days according to
+circumstances, meaning the health and strength of the infant's mother.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">As a Rule Six Weeks</span> are allowed to elapse between the birth of the child
+and the date of the christening.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Relatives are either invited</span> to luncheon after the ceremony, or to a
+reception tea, or to a dinner-party to be given the same evening. If a
+luncheon is decided upon it generally takes place at 1.30, or earlier,
+immediately on the return from the church. The meal usually consists of
+hot viands&mdash;game or poultry&mdash;not substantial joints. Hot and cold
+sweets. Fruit to follow. A smart christening cake should occupy the
+centre of the table. Champagne, claret, and sherry are given, although
+the former is probably the only one of the three drunk on the occasion;
+this, when the health of the infant is proposed&mdash;the only health which
+finds acceptance at these gatherings.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Guests go in to Luncheon</span> quite informally, the ladies and hostess
+entering first, followed by the men <span class="pagenum"><a id="page262" name="page262"></a>[p.262]</span>guests and the host. They
+should be seated at table by the help of name cards, each lady being
+placed at the right hand of a gentleman. The clergyman who performs the
+ceremony, if a friend, should sit at the hostess's left hand, and should
+be asked to say grace; but in town he seldom joins these family
+gatherings unless well acquainted with his parishioners.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">A Reception Tea</span>, when given, is served in the dining-room; but in this
+case the guests are received on arrival by the hostess in the
+drawing-room, and when all have arrived, she accompanies them to the
+tea-room and remains there with them. The maid-servants should pour out
+and hand the tea and coffee across the tea-table, but the hostess should
+hand the cakes, etc., to her relatives, assisted by the host, if
+present. The refreshments consist of the usual variety in confectionery
+seen at all smart "at homes," a christening cake being the addition.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Christening Dinner-Parties</span> closely resemble all other family functions
+of this nature, with the exception that the infant's health is drunk at
+dessert, and that a christening cake is placed opposite the hostess when
+the table is cleared for dessert.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">The Christening Ceremony</span> takes place in the afternoon, usually at 2.30.
+The relatives on arrival at the church seat themselves in pews or on
+chairs near to the font. The godmother holds the infant during the first
+part of the service, and then places it on the left arm of the
+officiating clergyman. One of the godfathers should name the child in
+response to the clergyman's question. If the child is a girl, two
+godmothers and one godfather are necessary. If a boy, two godfathers and
+one godmother are required. These godparents are usually the intimate
+friends of the child's mother. In certain instances the <span class="pagenum"><a id="page263" name="page263"></a>[p.263]</span>
+relatives are chosen for the office of godfather and godmother, but
+oftener not for family reasons.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Christening Presents</span> vary according to means and inclination, and often
+comprise gifts of jewellery when the infant is a girl, and money and
+silver plate if a boy; silver spoons, forks, mugs, bowls, etc. The
+selection is a wide one, and nothing comes amiss, from a robe with fine
+lace to a chain and pendant or a jewelled watch. These presents are
+usually sent the day previous to that of the christening.</p>
+
+<hr>
+
+<p><span class="subchap">Fees and Tips.</span>&mdash;Only minor fees are given to those assisting at the
+ceremony. The officiating priest receives some little gift in old silver
+or china, but not of money; if, however, the parents of the child are
+wealthy a cheque is sometimes given with a request that he will devote
+it to the needs of his parish.</p>
+
+<p>Tips to the nurse from the child's godparents vary from five shillings
+to a sovereign according to individual means.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a id="page265" name="page265"></a>[p.265]</span>INDEX</h2>
+
+
+<ul>
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Afternoon</span> "at homes," <a href="#page151">151</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Afternoon dances, <a href="#page157">157</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Afternoon tea, <a href="#page42">42</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Afternoon weddings, <a href="#page128">128</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Amusements at children's parties, <a href="#page192">192</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at country-house parties, <a href="#page215">215</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at garden-parties, <a href="#page169">169</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">"At home" days, <a href="#page159">159</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">"at homes," <a href="#page151">151</a>, <a href="#page238">238</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Bachelors</span>' Balls, <a href="#page87">87</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Balls, <a href="#page87">87</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">patronesses of, <a href="#page239">239</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Best man, duties of, <a href="#page131">131</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Bowing, <a href="#page206">206</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Breakfasts, <a href="#page183">183</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Bridal wreath, <a href="#page141">141</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Bride, <a href="#page131">131</a>, <a href="#page133">133</a>, <a href="#page140">140</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Bridegroom's relatives, <a href="#page133">133</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Bridegroom's responsibilities, <a href="#page130">130</a>, <a href="#page141">141</a>, <a href="#page146">146</a>, <a href="#page149">149</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Bridesmaids, <a href="#page132">132</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">presents to, <a href="#page147">147</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Bride's relatives, <a href="#page132">132</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Bridge parties, <a href="#page125">125</a>, <a href="#page158">158</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">refreshments at, <a href="#page126">126</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">teas, <a href="#page158">158</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Calls</span>, paying, <a href="#page32">32</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">after entertainments, <a href="#page113">113</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Canoe parties, <a href="#page189">189</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Cards, gentlemen's, <a href="#page27">27</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">ladies, <a href="#page19">19</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">memorial, <a href="#page31">31</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">"P.P.C.," <a href="#page26">26</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Cards, leaving, <a href="#page19">19</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">after entertainments, <a href="#page24">24</a>, <a href="#page28">28</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">on new-comers, <a href="#page25">25</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">returning, <a href="#page23">23</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">routine of leaving, <a href="#page21">21</a>, <a href="#page28">28</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">"to inquire," <a href="#page26">26</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Chaperons, <a href="#page228">228</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Charity Balls, <a href="#page93">93</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Christening luncheons and teas, <a href="#page262">262</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">parties, <a href="#page261">261</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">presents, <a href="#page260">260</a>, <a href="#page263">263</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Clergy, how to address, <a href="#page59">59</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Cockades, <a href="#page209">209</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Colonial etiquette, <a href="#page161">161</a></li>
+
+<li>County Balls, <a href="#page93">93</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Country dinner-parties, <a href="#page114">114</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Country-house visits, <a href="#page211">211</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Court, attending, <a href="#page73">73</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">presentation at, <a href="#page73">73</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Court dress for gentlemen, <a href="#page85">85</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">for ladies, <a href="#page80">80</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Cricket matches, <a href="#page168">168</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Dances</span>, invitation, <a href="#page256">256</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">public, <a href="#page257">257</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Débutantes, <a href="#page228">228</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04"><i>Dîner à la Russe</i>, <a href="#page106">106</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Dining out, <a href="#page100">100</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Dinner guests, <a href="#page101">101</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Dinner invitations, <a href="#page99">99</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Dinner-table decorations, <a href="#page107">107</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">etiquette, <a href="#page108">108</a>, <a href="#page116">116</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Drawing-room, retiring to, <a href="#page111">111</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page266" name="page266"></a>[p.266]</span>Drawing-rooms at Viceregal Court, Dublin, <a href="#page229">229</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Driving, <a href="#page203">203</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Engagements</span>, <a href="#page250">250</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">etiquette of, <a href="#page251">251</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">presents, <a href="#page147">147</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04"><i>Entrée</i> at Court, <a href="#page77">77</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Etiquette, <a href="#page1">1</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at balls, <a href="#page91">91</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at dinner-table, <a href="#page108">108</a>, <a href="#page116">116</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">colonial, <a href="#page161">161</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">Indian, <a href="#page164">164</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">in regard to royalty, <a href="#page61">61</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of visiting at bachelors' houses, <a href="#page217">217</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">when travelling abroad, <a href="#page65">65</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Evening parties, <a href="#page122">122</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">garden-parties, <a href="#page174">174</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Foreigners</span> of rank, how to address, <a href="#page57">57</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Funerals, <a href="#page248">248</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Funeral wreaths, <a href="#page249">249</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Gamekeepers</span>, tips to, <a href="#page223">223</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Game licence, <a href="#page224">224</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Garden-parties, <a href="#page166">166</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">in the evening, <a href="#page174">174</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">in town, <a href="#page171">171</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Giving presents, <a href="#page259">259</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Going in to luncheon, <a href="#page180">180</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">to supper, <a href="#page123">123</a>, <a href="#page126">126</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Golden weddings, <a href="#page255">255</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Gratuities to servants, <a href="#page97">97</a>, <a href="#page113">113</a>, <a href="#page156">156</a>, <a href="#page223">223</a>, <a href="#page260">260</a>, <a href="#page263">263</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Honeymoon</span>, <a href="#page141">141</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Hostesses, <a href="#page234">234</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Hunt Balls, <a href="#page87">87</a>, <a href="#page95">95</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Hunt breakfasts, <a href="#page221">221</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Hunting, <a href="#page219">219</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Indian</span> etiquette, <a href="#page164">164</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Introductions, <a href="#page6">6</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">correct formula for, <a href="#page8">8</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at afternoon calls, <a href="#page17">17</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at country-house parties, <a href="#page11">11</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at dinner-parties, <a href="#page9">9</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at evening parties, <a href="#page123">123</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at Public Balls, <a href="#page12">12</a>, <a href="#page90">90</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Invitations, <a href="#page96">96</a>, <a href="#page122">122</a>, <a href="#page125">125</a>, <a href="#page152">152</a>, <a href="#page167">167</a>, <a href="#page177">177</a>, <a href="#page194">194</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Juvenile</span> parties, <a href="#page190">190</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Ladies</span> in the hunting-field, <a href="#page219">219</a></li>
+
+<li>Levée dress, <a href="#page85">85</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Levées, <a href="#page82">82</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at Viceregal Court, Dublin, <a href="#page232">232</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">presentations at, <a href="#page84">84</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">who may attend, <a href="#page83">83</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Licences, marriage, <a href="#page128">128</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Luncheons, <a href="#page176">176</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Marriage</span> by banns, <a href="#page128">128</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">by licence, <a href="#page128">128</a>, <a href="#page148">148</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">fees, <a href="#page129">129</a>, <a href="#page148">148</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Memorial cards, <a href="#page249">249</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Menus, <a href="#page106">106</a>, <a href="#page139">139</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Military Balls, <a href="#page87">87</a>, <a href="#page95">95</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Mourning, <a href="#page242">242</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">Court, <a href="#page242">242</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h">"<span class="smcap">Not</span> at home," <a href="#page41">41</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Officers</span>, how to address, <a href="#page59">59</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Opening a ball, <a href="#page90">90</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Patronesses</span> of Public Balls, <a href="#page239">239</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Pheasant shooting, <a href="#page222">222</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Picnics, <a href="#page186">186</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Plumes in Court dress, <a href="#page81">81</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Politeness, graces of, <a href="#page4">4</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Precedency amongst royalty, <a href="#page44">44</a>, <a href="#page50">50</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at ball suppers, <a href="#page91">91</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at dinner-parties, <a href="#page49">49</a>, <a href="#page105">105</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of ambassadors and diplomats, <a href="#page45">45</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of army and navy, <a href="#page45">45</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of baronets and knights, <a href="#page45">45</a>, <a href="#page51">51</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of bishops, <a href="#page51">51</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of clergy, <a href="#page45">45</a>, <a href="#page48">48</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of esquires, <a href="#page48">48</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of ladies, <a href="#page52">52</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of legal profession, <a href="#page45">45</a>, <a href="#page48">48</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of peers, <a href="#page50">50</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of widows, <a href="#page46">46</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Presentation at Court, <a href="#page73">73</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at foreign Courts, <a href="#page65">65</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at levées, <a href="#page82">82</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at Viceregal Court, Dublin, <a href="#page229">229</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04"><span class="pagenum"><a id="page267" name="page267"></a>[p.267]</span>Presents, christening, <a href="#page260">260</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">giving, <a href="#page259">259</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">wedding, <a href="#page130">130</a>, <a href="#page141">141</a>, <a href="#page259">259</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Public Balls, <a href="#page87">87</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Receiving</span> guests, <a href="#page101">101</a>, <a href="#page123">123</a>, <a href="#page154">154</a>, <a href="#page234">234</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Refreshments for "at homes," <a href="#page153">153</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at bridge parties, <a href="#page126">126</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">at children's parties, <a href="#page194">194</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Refusing invitations, <a href="#page200">200</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Responsibilities of patronesses, <a href="#page239">239</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Riding, <a href="#page204">204</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Royal guests present, <a href="#page90">90</a>, <a href="#page123">123</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Royalty, how to address, <a href="#page53">53</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Saying</span> grace, <a href="#page114">114</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Sending in to dinner, <a href="#page103">103</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Shaking hands, <a href="#page225">225</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Shooting, <a href="#page219">219</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Signing the register, <a href="#page134">134</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Silver weddings, <a href="#page253">253</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">State Balls, <a href="#page97">97</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">State mourning, <a href="#page97">97</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Subscription dances, <a href="#page256">256</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Supper, going in to, <a href="#page123">123</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Surnames of peculiar pronunciation, <a href="#page69">69</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Tea</span> for afternoon callers, <a href="#page42">42</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Titles, how to use in speaking, <a href="#page53">53</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Town garden-parties, <a href="#page171">171</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Trousseau, <a href="#page141">141</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Undesired</span> introductions, <a href="#page6">6</a></li>
+
+
+<li class="martop1h"><span class="smcap">Walking</span>, <a href="#page202">202</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Water parties, <a href="#page188">188</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Wedding cake, <a href="#page137">137</a>, <a href="#page142">142</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">cards, <a href="#page142">142</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">etiquette, <a href="#page129">129</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">expenses, <a href="#page146">146</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">favours, <a href="#page134">134</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">fees, <a href="#page129">129</a>, <a href="#page148">148</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">golden, <a href="#page255">255</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">invitations, <a href="#page129">129</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">luncheon, <a href="#page137">137</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">of widow, <a href="#page134">134</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">presents, <a href="#page130">130</a>, <a href="#page141">141</a>, <a href="#page259">259</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">receptions, <a href="#page136">136</a>, <a href="#page143">143</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">ring, <a href="#page130">130</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">service, <a href="#page131">131</a>;</li>
+  <li class="martop01 add2em">silver, <a href="#page253">253</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Widow's wedding, <a href="#page134">134</a></li>
+
+<li class="martop04">Writing invitations, <a href="#page195">195</a></li>
+</ul>
+
+<p class="center ftsize110">THE END</p>
+
+
+
+
+<div class="footnotes">
+<p class="center ftsize105"><b>FOOTNOTES:</b></p>
+
+<div class="footnote indent03">
+<p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">1</span></a> It is, however, permissible on the occasion of a <i>first</i> call to
+say, "I shall leave my card in the hall to remind you of my address"; or
+some such phrase.</p>
+
+<p><a name="Footnote_A_2" id="Footnote_A_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_2"><span class="label">2</span></a> See work entitled "The Art of Conversing."</p>
+
+<p><a name="Footnote_A_3" id="Footnote_A_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_3"><span class="label">3</span></a> Respecting the arrangement of the dinner table for dessert, see the
+work entitled "Waiting at Table."</p>
+
+<p><a name="Footnote_A_4" id="Footnote_A_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_4"><span class="label">4</span></a> See the work entitled "Waiting at Table."</p>
+
+<p><a name="Footnote_A_5" id="Footnote_A_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_5"><span class="label">5</span></a> See chapter "Conversing with New Acquaintances," in the work
+entitled "The Art of Conversing."</p>
+</div>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+<div class="box">
+<p class="center ftsize105"><b>Transcriber's Notes:</b></p>
+
+<p>Missing page numbers correspond to blank pages.</p>
+
+<p>The following words have been retained in both versions:</p>
+
+<ul class="leftm05">
+  <li>table-cloth and tablecloth</li>
+  <li>out-door and outdoor</li>
+  <li>solemnized and solemnised</li>
+</ul>
+
+<p>The following misprints have been corrected:</p>
+
+<ul class="leftm05">
+<li>changed "AT THE VICE-REGAL COURT," into "AT THE VICEREGAL COURT,"
+page <a href="#pageviii">viii</a></li>
+<li>changed "refusal, and the profered" into "refusal, and the proffered"
+page <a href="#page8">8</a></li>
+<li>changed "by a manservant or" into "by a man-servant or" page <a href="#page21">21</a></li>
+<li>changed "to the manservant silently," into "to the man-servant
+silently," page <a href="#page22">22</a></li>
+<li>changed "Villiers" into Villiers." page <a href="#page72">72</a></li>
+<li>changed "a tablespoon for soup," into "a table-spoon for soup," page <a href="#page108">108</a></li>
+<li>changed "a box of bonbons," into "a box of bon-bons," page <a href="#page125">125</a></li>
+<li>changed "chickens, game, mayonaises," into "chickens, game,
+mayonnaises," page <a href="#page139">139</a></li>
+<li>changed "at dinner-table, 80, 116;" into "at dinner-table, 108,
+116;" page <a href="#page266">266</a></li>
+<li>changed "Levées, 82," into "Levées, 82;" page <a href="#page266">266</a></li>
+</ul>
+
+<p>Other than the corrections listed above, printer's inconsistencies
+in spelling, punctuation, hyphenation, and ligature usage have
+been retained.</p>
+
+
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Manners and Rules of Good Society, by Anonymous
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+Project Gutenberg's Manners and Rules of Good Society, by Anonymous
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Manners and Rules of Good Society
+       Or Solecisms to be Avoided
+
+Author: Anonymous
+
+Release Date: September 13, 2010 [EBook #33716]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Thierry Alberto, Iris Gehring, Henry Craig and
+the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
+http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
+generously made available by The Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                      MANNERS AND RULES
+
+                             OF
+
+                        GOOD SOCIETY
+
+                 _OR SOLECISMS TO BE AVOIDED_
+
+
+                        BY A MEMBER
+                     OF THE ARISTOCRACY
+
+
+
+
+                   THIRTY-EIGHTH EDITION
+
+                 [Illustration: Decoration]
+
+
+                          LONDON
+                  FREDERICK WARNE AND CO.
+                       AND NEW YORK
+
+                           1916
+                  (_All rights reserved_)
+
+
+
+
+_Printed in Great Britain_
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE
+
+
+"MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY" contains all the information
+comprised in the original work, "Manners and Tone of Good Society," but
+with considerable additions. In a volume of this nature it is necessary
+to make constant revisions, and this is periodically done to keep it up
+to date, that it may be depended upon as being not only the most
+reliable, but also the _newest book of etiquette_.
+
+A comparison of the number of chapters and their subjects with those of
+the early editions would best demonstrate how the work has grown, not
+merely in bulk, but in importance also. This extension has allowed many
+subjects to be more exhaustively treated than heretofore, and it now
+includes every rule and point that could possibly be comprehended in its
+title.
+
+The work throughout its many editions has commended itself to the
+attention of thousands of readers, and it is hoped the present edition
+will be received by society in general with the marked success of its
+predecessors.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+      CHAPTER                                                  PAGE
+
+           INTRODUCTORY REMARKS                                  ix
+
+        I. THE MEANING OF ETIQUETTE                               1
+
+       II. INTRODUCTIONS                                          6
+
+      III. LEAVING CARDS                                         19
+
+       IV. PAYING CALLS                                          32
+
+        V. PRECEDENCY                                            44
+
+       VI. THE COLLOQUIAL APPLICATION OF TITLES                  53
+
+      VII. POINTS OF ETIQUETTE AS REGARDS ROYAL PERSONAGES       61
+
+     VIII. POINTS OF ETIQUETTE WHEN TRAVELLING ABROAD, AND
+           PRESENTATIONS AT FOREIGN COURTS                       65
+
+       IX. THE RECEIVED MODE OF PRONOUNCING CERTAIN SURNAMES     68
+
+        X. PRESENTATIONS AT COURTS AND ATTENDING COURTS          73
+
+       XI. PRESENTATIONS AT LEVEES AND ATTENDING LEVEES          82
+
+      XII. BALLS AND STATE BALLS                                 87
+
+     XIII. DINNER GIVING AND DINING OUT                          99
+
+      XIV. DINNER-TABLE ETIQUETTE                               116
+
+       XV. EVENING PARTIES                                      122
+
+      XVI. WEDDINGS AND WEDDING LUNCHEONS                       128
+
+     XVII. WEDDING RECEPTIONS                                   143
+
+    XVIII. WEDDING EXPENSES                                     146
+
+      XIX. AFTERNOON "AT HOMES"                                 151
+
+       XX. "AT HOME" DAYS                                       159
+
+      XXI. COLONIAL ETIQUETTE                                   161
+
+     XXII. INDIAN ETIQUETTE                                     164
+
+    XXIII. GARDEN-PARTIES                                       166
+
+     XXIV. TOWN GARDEN-PARTIES                                  171
+
+      XXV. EVENING GARDEN-PARTIES                               174
+
+     XXVI. LUNCHEONS                                            176
+
+    XXVII. BREAKFASTS                                           183
+
+   XXVIII. PICNICS AND WATER-PARTIES                            186
+
+     XXIX. JUVENILE PARTIES                                     190
+
+      XXX. WRITTEN INVITATIONS                                  195
+
+     XXXI. REFUSING INVITATIONS                                 200
+
+    XXXII. WALKING, DRIVING, AND RIDING                         202
+
+   XXXIII. BOWING                                               206
+
+    XXXIV. THE COCKADE                                          209
+
+     XXXV. COUNTRY-HOUSE VISITS                                 211
+
+    XXXVI. HUNTING AND SHOOTING                                 219
+
+   XXXVII. SHAKING HANDS                                        225
+
+  XXXVIII. CHAPERONS AND DEBUTANTES                             228
+
+    XXXIX. PRESENTATIONS AT THE VICEREGAL COURT, DUBLIN CASTLE  229
+
+       XL. HOSTESSES                                            234
+
+      XLI. THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF LADY PATRONESSES OF PUBLIC
+           BALLS                                                239
+
+     XLII. PERIODS OF MOURNING                                  242
+
+    XLIII. ENGAGED                                              250
+
+     XLIV. SILVER WEDDINGS                                      253
+
+      XLV. SUBSCRIPTION DANCES                                  256
+
+     XLVI. GIVING PRESENTS                                      259
+
+    XLVII. CHRISTENING PARTIES                                  261
+
+           INDEX                                                265
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTORY REMARKS
+
+
+The title of this work sufficiently indicates the nature of its
+contents. The Usages of Good Society relate not only to good manners and
+to good breeding, but also to the proper etiquette to be observed on
+every occasion.
+
+Not only are certain rules laid down, and minutely explained, but the
+most comprehensive instructions are given in each chapter respecting
+every form or phase of the subject under discussion that it may be
+clearly understood what _is_ done, or what is _not_ done, in good
+society, and also how what _is_ done in good society should be done. It
+is precisely this knowledge that gives to men and women the
+consciousness of feeling thoroughly at ease in whatever sphere they may
+happen to move, and causes them to be considered well bred by all with
+whom they may come in contact.
+
+A solecism may be perhaps in itself but a trifling matter, but in the
+eyes of society at large it assumes proportions of a magnified aspect,
+and reflects most disadvantageously upon the one by whom it is
+committed; the direct inference being, that to be guilty of a solecism
+argues the offender to be unused to society, and consequently not on an
+equal footing with it. This society resents, and is not slow in making
+its disapproval felt by its demeanour towards the offender.
+
+Tact and innate refinement, though of the greatest assistance to one
+unused to society, do not suffice of themselves; and although counting
+for much, cannot supply the want of the actual knowledge of what is
+customary in society. Where tact and innate refinement do not exist--and
+this is not seldom the case, as they are gifts bestowed upon the few
+rather than upon the many--then a thorough acquaintance with the social
+observances in force in society becomes more than ever necessary, and
+especially to those who, socially speaking, are desirous of making their
+way in the world.
+
+Those individuals who have led secluded or isolated lives, or who have
+hitherto moved in other spheres than those wherein well-bred people
+move, will gather all the information necessary from these pages to
+render them thoroughly conversant with the manners and amenities of
+society.
+
+This work will be found of equal service to both men and women, as in
+each chapter the points of social etiquette to be observed by both sexes
+have been fully considered.
+
+Those having the charge of young ladies previous to their introduction
+into society, either mothers, chaperons, or governesses, will also
+derive much useful and practical information from the perusal of this
+work, while to those thoroughly versed in the usages of society it
+cannot fail to commend itself, containing as it does many useful and
+valuable hints on social questions.
+
+
+
+
+MANNERS AND RULES OF GOOD SOCIETY
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+THE MEANING OF ETIQUETTE
+
+
+What is etiquette, and what does the word convey? It is a poor one in
+itself, and falls very far short of its wide application. It has an
+old-fashioned ring about it, savouring of stiffness, primness, and
+punctiliousness, which renders it distasteful to many possessing
+advanced ideas; and yet the word etiquette is not so very old either, as
+Johnson did not include it in his dictionary, and Walker apologises for
+introducing it into his, and according to the authorities he quotes, it
+is supposed to be derived from stichos, stichus, stichetus, sticketta,
+and from thence to etiquette. But whether derived from the Latin or the
+French--and many incline to the latter opinion--there is no doubt that
+could a new word be found to replace this much abused one, it would be a
+welcome addition to our vocabulary. The word has unfortunately become
+associated in our minds with forms, ceremonies, and observances, in an
+exaggerated degree; and it has been so constantly misused and
+misinterpreted and misunderstood that ridicule and contempt have been
+most unjustly and unfairly thrown upon it. The true meaning of
+etiquette can hardly be described in dictionary parlance; it embraces
+the whole gamut of good manners, good breeding, and true politeness. One
+of the reasons which have no doubt contributed to bring the word
+"etiquette" into disrepute, is the manner in which the subject has been
+handled by incompetent people, who, having but a very hazy and obscure
+knowledge, if any knowledge at all, yet profess to write guides to
+polite manners--rambling and incoherent guides, which not only provoke a
+smile from those better informed, but mislead and bewilder any one rash
+enough to consult them, without previous inquiry as to whether they are
+safe to follow. A little caution on this head would insure the most
+correct and reliable work being secured amongst so much that is
+unreliable. Some people read everything that is written on the subject
+of etiquette, not only those who are ignorant and wish to learn
+something of its laws, but those who are thoroughly well versed in them
+and who, one might suppose, had nothing to learn; still these latter
+like to see what is written, to feel the satisfaction of being supported
+in their own knowledge by a well-informed writer; or of finding
+amusement in the absurdities gravely advanced by some one writing from
+another sphere than that where _savoir vivre_ reigns. Others attach a
+very narrow meaning to the word etiquette, and neither accept it nor
+understand it in its true sense; they have an idea that its rules
+influence and govern society in general. Rules of etiquette are from
+their point of view but trammels and shackles; let them be cast off or
+burst through, say they; let every one do as he likes; let all behave as
+they like; we are in a free country, why should we not wipe our mouths
+upon the tablecloth if we please? Others again, devour books of
+etiquette on the quiet; they are very much in want of instruction as
+every one knows, but they have not the courage to confess that they are
+awake of this want, and are trying to pick up some knowledge of this
+kind to be useful to them; as their aim is to rise in the social scale,
+they would not let their friends know for worlds about this new study,
+but they know it, and find that they have improved, that they do not
+commit as many _gaucheries_ as heretofore; still, they have caught the
+letter rather than the spirit of etiquette, they have read the rules it
+prescribes, and act up to them as far as their memories serve them; but
+they have failed in one essential particular of understanding that
+courtesy, consideration towards others, and unselfishness, are the
+sources of true politeness from which etiquette springs.
+
+There is an idea amongst some few people who have mixed little in the
+world, and moved but in one fixed groove, that the more exalted the
+sphere, the more perfect the manners. It is needless to attempt to
+refute such a fallacy as this, for examples of the most perfect manner
+are to be met with not only amongst those who can boast of long lineage
+and high birth, but also amongst those who lay claim to neither.
+
+Our present code of etiquette is constructed upon the refinement,
+polish, and culture of years, of centuries. Wealth and luxury, and
+contact with all that is beautiful in art and nature, have in all ages
+exercised a powerful influence on the manners of men; we do not say on
+the times, as unfortunately these advantages did not reach down to the
+many but were confined to the strictly few; but in these modern days the
+many have come, and still come, within the charmed circle; the ring
+broadens, ever widens; it is not now as in olden days that "their lot
+forbade." On the contrary, the possession of wealth or of talent is the
+open sesame to the most refined and cultured circles. The word etiquette
+is too narrow for all it embraces; it must be viewed in a double light,
+and be taken from a moral point as well as from a conventional one. A
+kindly nature, and an unselfish spirit are never wanting in true
+politeness, but the conventionalities of society give the finish and
+completeness to the whole, the colour, as it were, to the picture. In
+some the conventional spirit is uppermost and they have at best but a
+surface polish. In others the kindly feelings of the heart are allowed
+full play, and no act of genuine politeness is omitted or left undone in
+their intercourse with their fellows, and these graces of kindly
+politeness linger in the memory, trivial though they may have been,
+years after one has lost sight of this true gentleman or thorough lady,
+and one says of him, "What a charming man he was, how courteous and
+considerate, and how kind!" and of her, "She was the sweetest and
+prettiest-mannered woman I ever met."
+
+It is only given to the very few to be thoroughly and unaffectedly
+charming without a shadow of self-consciousness or effort. To assume a
+would-be charming manner for the moment, with the desire to be unusually
+pleasing to some one in particular, does not confer the enviable
+reputation of having a charming manner. It does not sit easy enough to
+be altogether natural; it conveys the idea of being put on for the
+occasion, and, like all other imitations, it hardly ever pleases and
+seldom deceives. Etiquette and true politeness would have us go further
+than this, and our manners of to-day should be our manners of to-morrow,
+and not variable according to place and persons. The world is quick to
+note these uncertain demeanours, and every one's measure is readily
+taken and retained.
+
+The rules of etiquette are indispensable to the smooth working of
+society at large. Take, for example, the etiquette of precedency, in
+force both in public and in private: on every public occasion, and in
+every private circle, precedency steps in to render assistance, and is
+as necessary in the smallest private circle as in the largest public
+gathering, because it assigns to every one his or her place as far as
+claim can be laid to place. Mistakes in the matter of precedency are not
+only committed by those who have enjoyed few social advantages, but by
+those also who have had everything in their favour. Young ladies, for
+instance, when married from the schoolroom, as it were, often make grave
+mistakes on the question of precedency, if they do not ignore it
+altogether.
+
+The etiquette of card leaving and that of paying calls are indisputably
+necessary and only the very ignorant would attempt to gainsay their
+utility; without these aids to order and method all intercourse between
+friends and acquaintances would be uncertain and chaotic; as it is there
+is little excuse when the right thing is not done, and any departure
+from the simple rules laid down on these heads, is the best possible
+proof of the standing, position, and associations of the one at fault.
+
+Any one point of etiquette if brought to the bar of common-sense would
+be pronounced reasonable, proper, and sensible; and there is strictly
+speaking no question of etiquette that cannot be thus judged and upon
+which a like verdict would not be given. There is no one rule of
+etiquette that can be described as absurd or ridiculous, arbitrary or
+tyrannical, and taken collectively the rules are but social obligations
+due from one person to another. Why should we not be a well-mannered
+people? Why should we not be refined, cultivated, and polished in our
+demeanour and bearing? Why should we not seek to charm if we can? Why
+should we not cultivate and encourage in ourselves consideration,
+thoughtfulness, and graciousness towards others in the smallest details
+of daily life?
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+INTRODUCTIONS
+
+
+There are ceremonious introductions and unceremonious introductions,
+premeditated introductions and unpremeditated introductions; but, in all
+cases, introductions should never be indiscriminately made--that is to
+say, without a previous knowledge on the part of those making them as to
+whether the persons thus introduced will be likely to appreciate each
+other, or the reverse, or unless they have expressed a desire to become
+acquainted. For instance, a lady should not introduce two of her
+acquaintances residing in a country town or watering-place, moving in
+different circles, unless they have each expressed such a desire.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=An Undesired Introduction=, if made, compels the one to whom it is the
+most unwelcome, to treat the other with marked coldness, or to continue
+an acquaintance that is distasteful.
+
+Should the slightest doubt exist as to how an introduction will be
+received--whether the meditated introduction is a spontaneous desire on
+the part of a lady or gentleman, or whether one person expressed a wish
+to make the acquaintance of another person and expressed that wish to a
+mutual friend--the received rule is to consult the wishes of both
+persons on the subject before making the introduction.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Difference of Rank= exists between two persons, it would be
+sufficient to ascertain the wishes of the person of highest rank alone.
+
+A person about to make an introduction, should say to the one lady, but
+not in the hearing of the other, "Mrs. A----, may I introduce Mrs. B----
+to you?" or some such formula, according to the degree of intimacy
+existing between herself and Mrs. A. (See "The Art of Conversing.")
+
+When two ladies are of equal rank, the wishes of the person with whom
+the person making the introduction is least intimate should be
+consulted.
+
+In the case of one person having expressed a wish to make the
+acquaintance of another, there remains but the wishes of one person to
+ascertain.
+
+Acquiescence having been given, the introduction should be made.
+
+In making an introduction, the lady of lowest rank should be introduced
+to the lady of highest rank; in no case should the lady of highest rank
+be introduced to the lady of lowest rank. This point of etiquette should
+always be strictly observed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Gentleman should always be introduced to a Lady=, whatever his rank
+may be, without reference to her rank, whatever it may be. This rule is
+invariable, and is based upon the privilege of the sex--"_place aux
+dames_."
+
+It is not usual to ascertain a gentleman's wishes as to whether he will
+be introduced to a lady or not, although at a ball it is usual to do so
+when the introduction is made for a special object, viz., that of
+obtaining a partner for a lady; and as a gentleman may be either unable
+or unwilling to ask the lady to dance, it is incumbent to ascertain
+beforehand whether the introduction is desired or not, otherwise the
+introduction would be of no avail for the purpose, and prove a
+disappointment to the lady.
+
+"Would you like to be introduced to Miss A----?" or some such polite
+phrase (see "The Art of Conversing"), is the sort of formula by which to
+ascertain a gentleman's wishes as to an introduction in the ball-room;
+as ball-room introductions are understood to mean an intention on the
+part of a gentleman to ask a lady to dance or to take her in to supper.
+
+In general society, gentlemen are supposed to seek, rather than to avoid
+the acquaintance of ladies, irrespective of whatever sets in society to
+which they belong. It is immaterial to a gentleman in which set in
+society his acquaintances move, and he can be polite to all without
+offending any in their several circles.
+
+With regard to his own sex a gentleman is generally as exclusive as to
+the acquaintanceships which he forms, as is a lady with regard to the
+acquaintanceships which she forms. Reciprocity of taste is the basis on
+which acquaintanceships between men are established, subject, in a
+certain measure, to social position; though this rule is itself subject
+to wide exceptions.
+
+It is the rule for a gentleman to ask a mutual friend, or an
+acquaintance, for an introduction to a lady, and it is the received rule
+to do so when a gentleman desires to be introduced to any lady in
+particular; but gentlemen do not ask to be introduced to each other,
+unless some special reason exists for so doing--some reason that would
+commend itself to the person whose acquaintance was desired, as well as
+to the person making the introduction; otherwise, such a wish would
+appear to be either puerile or sycophantic, thus the request might meet
+with a refusal, and the proffered acquaintanceship be declined.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When Introductions are made between Ladies=, an unmarried lady should
+be introduced to a married lady, unless the unmarried lady is of a
+higher rank than the married lady, when the rule is reversed.
+
+The correct formula in use when making introductions is "Mrs. X----,
+Lady Z.," thus mentioning the name of the lady of lowest rank first, as
+she is the person introduced to the lady of highest rank, "Mrs. X----,
+Lady Z.," is all that need be said on the occasion by the person making
+the introduction. When the ladies are of equal rank it is immaterial
+which name is mentioned first; but there generally exists sufficient
+difference in the social position of the two ladies to give a slight
+distinction in favour of the one or of the other, which the person
+making the introduction should take into consideration.
+
+When the introduction has been made, the ladies should bow to each
+other, and either lady should make a slight remark.
+
+It is not usual for ladies on being first introduced to each other to
+shake hands, but only to bow; but there are very many exceptions to this
+rule.
+
+When one lady is of higher rank than the other, should she offer to
+shake hands, it would be a compliment and a mark of friendliness on her
+part.
+
+When a person introduces two intimate friends of his or hers to each
+other, they would be expected to shake hands, instead of bowing only.
+
+The relations of an engaged couple should, on being introduced, shake
+hands with both bride and bridegroom elect, as should the intimate
+friends of an engaged couple; as also should the relations of the two
+families on being introduced to each other.
+
+It is the privilege of the lady to be the first to offer to shake hands,
+in every case, when a gentleman is introduced to her.
+
+A lady should shake hands with every one introduced to her in her own
+house--that is to say, whether the person is brought by a mutual friend,
+or is present by invitation obtained through a mutual friend.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At Dinner-parties=, both small and large, the hostess should use her
+own discretion as to the introductions she thinks proper to make. It is
+not customary to make general introductions at a dinner-party; but in
+sending guests down to dinner, who are strangers to each other, the host
+or hostess should introduce the gentleman to the lady whom he is to take
+down to dinner. It would be quite unnecessary to ask the lady's
+permission before doing so. It would be sufficient to make the
+introduction a few moments before dinner was announced, and the usual
+formula is, "Mrs. A., Mr. B. will take you in to dinner." A bow is the
+recognition of this introduction.
+
+When the majority at a dinner-party are strangers to each other, a host
+or hostess should introduce one or two of the principal guests to each
+other, when time allows of its being done before dinner is served; such
+introductions are oftener made at country dinner-parties than at town
+dinner-parties.
+
+A hostess should, in some instances, introduce ladies to each other in
+the drawing-room after dinner if the opportunity offers, and she
+considers it advisable to do so.
+
+As a rule, a host seldom introduces gentlemen to each other in the
+dining-room after dinner, as they address each other as a matter of
+course on such occasions.
+
+A hostess should introduce her principal guests to each other, at
+five-o'clock teas, garden-parties, small "at homes," etc.--that is to
+say, gentlemen to ladies--for the purpose of their taking the ladies to
+the tea-room. In this case also, the introduction should be made without
+previously consulting the lady; and a gentleman, knowing the reason of
+the introduction, should at once proffer the expected civility.
+
+At these gatherings a hostess should use her own discretion as to any
+general introductions she thinks proper to make, and should introduce
+any gentleman to any lady without previously consulting the lady if she
+thinks the introduction will prove agreeable to her.
+
+When introducing ladies to each other, she should give married ladies,
+and ladies of rank, the option of the introduction; but should
+introduce young unmarried ladies to each other if she thinks proper.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When Callers arrive simultaneously=, the hostess should introduce them
+directly or indirectly to each other, if there is no social reason to
+the contrary.
+
+When a hostess is aware that her visitors do not desire each other's
+acquaintanceship, or, if she considers that the introduction is not
+altogether a suitable one, agreeable to both persons, she should not
+make it, but converse with each visitor in turn, at the same time not
+allowing the conversation to become too general.
+
+At large gatherings, persons desirous of avoiding each other's
+acquaintanceship, could be present at the house of a mutual acquaintance
+without coming into direct contact with one another, providing the host
+and hostess possessed sufficient tact and discretion not to attempt to
+effect a _rapprochement_ between them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At Country-house Parties=, the hostess should introduce the principal
+ladies to one another on the first day of their arrival; but if it is a
+large party, introductions should not be generally made, but should be
+made according to the judgment of the hostess. The fact of persons being
+guests in the same house constitutes in itself an introduction, and it
+rests with the guests thus brought together whether the acquaintanceship
+ripens into subsequent intimacy or not.
+
+The same remark applies in a degree to afternoon teas and "at homes."
+The guests converse with each other if inclined to do so. The act of so
+conversing would not constitute an acquaintanceship, although it might,
+under some circumstances, establish a bowing acquaintanceship,
+especially between gentlemen.
+
+Ladies should not bow to each other after only exchanging a few remarks
+at afternoon tea, or at a garden-party, unless there were some
+particular social link between them to warrant their so doing, in which
+case the lady of highest rank should take the initiative.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Introductions at Public Balls.=--It is erroneous to suppose that it is
+the duty of stewards to make introductions at public balls; it is the
+exception, and not the rule, for stewards to introduce persons to each
+other who are strangers to themselves.
+
+Society objects, and the stewards object, to making promiscuous
+introductions, on the following grounds: first, as regards the chaperon,
+whether mother or relative, who has the charge of a young lady; then as
+regards a young lady herself; and last, but not least, as regards the
+position occupied by the steward himself. A chaperon naturally looks and
+feels displeased when a steward who is a stranger to herself offers to
+introduce a man who is evidently a stranger to him, which fact she
+gathers by his saying, "This gentleman wishes to be introduced to your
+daughter," or by his asking the stranger his name before making the
+introduction. A chaperon is responsible for the acquaintances a young
+lady forms while under her charge at a ball, and if amongst her own
+friends and acquaintances she cannot find partners for her, she would
+prefer that she spent a comparatively dull evening than that she should
+run the risk of forming undesirable acquaintances.
+
+Young ladies have not always the discretion possessed by their elders,
+or sufficient knowledge of the world to do the right thing. Thus, some
+young ladies would either coldly decline the introductions, or if the
+introductions were made, would as coldly decline to dance, whilst
+others, anxious to dance, would accept both the introductions and the
+partners, and take their chance as to whether their brothers would like
+to see them dancing with strangers thus introduced. A steward himself
+particularly dislikes to be made responsible for a man he does not know;
+and whether a chaperon and a young lady are old friends of his, or
+whether they are merely new acquaintances, they equally trust to his
+not introducing men to them whom they would not care to know, and of
+whom he knows nothing save that they have solicited an introduction to
+them.
+
+Very few stewards care to accost a lady whom they merely know by sight
+and by name for the purpose of introducing a stranger; they prefer to
+decline to make the introduction, on the plea of not having the honour
+of the lady's acquaintance.
+
+Stewards consider that the position of a young man must be a peculiar
+one, and his presence at a ball somewhat of an anomaly, if he does not
+possess an acquaintance in the room, through whom he can become known to
+one or other of the stewards, or through whom he can be introduced to
+any particular lady with whom he may desire to dance.
+
+When a gentleman is introduced to a young lady at a public ball, it
+generally means that he is introduced to her as a partner, and that
+though he may not ask her for the next dance, he will for a subsequent
+one, or that he will at least offer to take her in to supper, or, if
+earlier in the evening, to give her some tea, or if she declines these
+civilities, that he will continue a conversation with her until the next
+dance commences, or until a dance is over. When a gentleman does neither
+of these things, but walks away as soon as the introduction is made, it
+is a proof how little he desired it, and that doubtless the option was
+not given him of refusing it.
+
+Good-natured friends of both sexes know how difficult it is to get
+partners for well-dressed, well-mannered, good-looking girls at a ball,
+unless they are more than ordinarily attractive in some way or other, in
+which case they are popular and sought after, and the only difficulty
+rests with the young ladies themselves as to how they shall best
+apportion the dances so as to satisfy their numerous partners, or
+persuade their chaperons to stay for one more dance which they have
+promised to, etc.
+
+It is a well-known fact in the ball-going world that the majority of
+young men insist upon being introduced to the most popular girls in a
+ball-room, and refuse being introduced to one who does not appear to
+have plenty of partners.
+
+Public balls are in reality made up of a number of small parties and
+different sets, each set or party being entirely independent of the
+other.
+
+At county balls the county people take large house-parties, and each
+house-party does or does not mingle with other house-parties, according
+to standing or inclination.
+
+If three large house-parties join forces at a ball they form a very
+imposing majority; but there are other sets in the same ball-room,
+dancing to the same band and adjourning to the same supper-room, equally
+apart and equally distinct.
+
+At balls held at watering-places, although the residents do not take
+large house-parties, yet they join forces with those residents with whom
+they are acquainted, reinforced by friends who come down purposely to be
+present at the ball. Thus, on the face of it, a steward's introductions
+cannot fail to be ill-received, in whatever set he may be coerced into
+making them; and it is well understood that introductions, to prove
+acceptable, should only be made through friends and acquaintances, and
+even then with tact and judgment.
+
+As the stewards of a ball are usually the most influential gentlemen in
+the place, it naturally follows that they are acquainted with many, if
+not with all, of the principal people present, therefore when they make
+introductions it is not by virtue of their office, but simply as a
+matter of friendship, and through being personally acquainted with those
+introduced by them.
+
+Introductions out of doors are rather a matter of inclination than not,
+as, for instance, when a lady is walking with another lady to whom she
+is on a visit she should introduce any friends to her hostess she might
+happen to meet, and her hostess should do likewise if time and
+opportunity offer for so doing; should any reason exist for not making
+an introduction on the part of either lady, it should be explained when
+they are again alone, as were either of the ladies to exclude the other
+from the conversation it would be considered discourteous towards the
+one excluded. When two ladies accidentally meet when out walking, and
+are subsequently joined by two or more ladies, introductions should not
+be made by either of the ladies, unless some special reason exists for
+so doing. A lady, as a rule, should not introduce gentlemen to each
+other unless one of them is her host, when it would be correct to do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=How to act on the Occasion of an Introduction= is determined almost
+entirely upon the reason for its being made, and by whom and to whom the
+person is introduced. Even the _locale_ has something to do with it, and
+thus a variety of issues are raised, upon which an instantaneous
+judgment has to be given. The mind has to travel with lightning rapidity
+over the ground to arrive at a correct course of action; but the mind
+does not always respond to the call made upon it: it hesitates, and acts
+not upon the outcome of reflection, but upon the spur of the moment.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Received Rule is not to shake hands=, but merely to bow on being
+introduced; but this rule under certain circumstances would not meet the
+case; it would disappoint the one introducing and the one introduced.
+For instance if a relative of the former is the person introduced a bow
+would be a very chilling response to the introduction made; to shake
+hands, on the contrary, would be the correct thing to do, and both
+persons should offer at the same moment this cordial recognition. On the
+other hand, if a casual introduction is made without any premeditation,
+and those introduced are totally unknown to each other, an exchange of
+bows is all that is required of them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Amongst the Exceptions for not merely bowing= on being introduced are
+the introductions made between young ladies and elderly ones, and
+between young ladies themselves. An elderly lady, as a general rule,
+shakes hands with a girl introduced to her with the idea of being
+cordial and kind, not to say condescending, and girls generally shake
+hands with each other in place of bowing, as acquaintanceships formed by
+them have not the importance that attaches to those of older ladies;
+besides, a greater readiness to make friends is the privilege and
+characteristic of youth.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Men take very much the Same View= as regards introductions as do
+women--that is to say, if an introduction is made by a relative of the
+man introduced, the men would shake hands and not merely bow. This holds
+equally good where intimate friends are concerned: they almost rank on
+the footing of relations, and a cordial reception is given to an
+introduction thus made. When casual introductions are made of necessity
+rather than of intention men do not shake hands. When "I think you have
+met A." or "I think you know Mr. A." is said--the one by a host and the
+other by a hostess--nothing further is required from either than a bow
+and a smile of acquiescence accepting the introduction and a disclaimer
+is not expected if "Mr. A." is not actually known. The uncertainty is an
+excuse for making the introduction.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ladies do not rise from their Seats on being introduced either at an
+"At Home"= or before dinner is announced, or after dinner, or when
+calling when people are introduced to them, or when they themselves are
+introduced. Half an exception occurs, it is true, at crowded "at homes,"
+when to rise and talk to the lady introduced is almost a necessity:
+there is no vacant seat for her to take, and, therefore, if both do not
+stand, conversation is at a deadlock, as the few first conventional
+remarks made by either are lost in the general buzz going on around;
+also, it is awkward and ungraceful for a lady to bend over one seated
+for the purpose of saying a few platitudes. "Introductory remarks," or
+remarks following upon introductions, have too often a melancholy ring
+of commonplaceness about them and are distinctly trite. How can they be
+otherwise? To venture out of the commonplace into originality would be
+suspicious of eccentricity, and no one wishes to be considered a little
+odd.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Before and after Dinner, when Introductions are made= between ladies it
+is to those seated near to each other, and, therefore, there would be no
+occasion to rise, as there might be at an "at home." There is no
+question of a lady rising from her seat when a man is introduced to her,
+unless that man is her host, when she should rise and shake hands with
+him, or a clerical dignity--a bishop for instance, if opportunity allows
+of it, and on a semi-official occasion. This question does not trouble
+men, as they are usually found standing, or they are brought up to a
+person to be introduced, and even if a man ventures upon sitting down at
+an "at home," or before dinner is announced, he springs to his feet with
+alacrity when any approach is made in the matter of introducing him to a
+fellow guest.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Introductions often have to be made at Afternoon Calls=, supposing that
+two or three callers only are present and the hostess feels that she
+must render the talk general by making some kind of introduction, direct
+or indirect, as she thinks best. The ladies thus introduced remain
+seated and bow. They do not shake hands even under the exceptional
+conditions previously referred to, but they would at once join in the
+talk that passes for conversation, and on departure would shake hands
+with the relative in question after having shaken hands with the hostess
+and having expressed pleasure at meeting this near relative--mother or
+sister, or whoever she may happen to be.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Introductions between Callers= made under enforced circumstances have
+not much bearing on future acquaintance. Those introduced pass so short
+a time in each other's company, and know practically nothing of each
+other's surroundings, that they are uncertain whether at future meetings
+they ought to recollect that such introductions have taken place, and
+whether they should bow or forget. Actually it would be correct to bow
+if the opportunity is given so to do, but unless the wish to bestow
+recognition is mutual it is of little avail if grudgingly given, and it
+would be worse still were it withheld. Some people have short memories
+for faces, and others are short-sighted, and both these drawbacks have
+to be reckoned with when expecting recognition from a person to whom one
+has been thus introduced.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+LEAVING CARDS
+
+
+The etiquette of card-leaving is a privilege which society places in the
+hands of ladies to govern and determine their acquaintanceships and
+intimacies, to regulate and decide whom they will, and whom they will
+not visit, whom they will admit into their friendship, and whom they
+will keep on the most distant footing, whose acquaintance they wish
+further to cultivate and whose to discontinue.
+
+It would seem that the act of leaving cards is but imperfectly
+understood, and that many erroneous impressions prevail respecting the
+actual use of visiting cards: The object of leaving cards is to signify
+that a call has been made, due civility shown, and a like civility
+expected in return.
+
+Leaving cards, or card-leaving, is one of the most important of social
+observances, as it is the ground-work or nucleus in general society of
+all acquaintanceships. Leaving cards, according to etiquette, is the
+first step towards forming, or towards enlarging, a circle of
+acquaintances, and the non-fulfilment of the prescribed rules is a sure
+step in the opposite direction. The following is the received code of
+card-leaving in all its details according to the etiquette observed in
+good society by both ladies and gentlemen, and should be faithfully
+followed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady's Visiting Card= should be printed in small, clear copper-plate
+script, and free from any kind of embellishment as regards ornamental
+or Old English letters. It should not be a thin card, and should be
+three inches and five eighths in width, and slightly under two and a
+half in depth.
+
+The name of the lady should be printed in the centre of the card, and
+her address in the left-hand corner. If she has a second address, it
+should be printed in the opposite corner of the card. If the second
+address is but a temporary one, it is usually written and not printed.
+
+A married lady should never use her christian name on a card; but she
+should use her husband's christian name before her surname if his father
+or elder brother is living.
+
+It is now considered old-fashioned for husbands and wives to have their
+names printed on the same card, although at watering-places, the
+practice of having the two names on the same card, "Mr. and Mrs. Dash,"
+is still occasionally followed; but even when these cards are used, a
+lady and gentleman still require separate cards of their own.
+
+A lady having a large acquaintance should keep a visiting book, in which
+to enter the names of her acquaintances, and the date when their cards
+were left upon her, with the dates of her return cards left upon them,
+that she might know whether a card were due to her from them, or whether
+it were due to them from her.
+
+A lady having a small acquaintance would find a memorandum book
+sufficient for the purpose; a line should be drawn down the centre of
+every page, dividing it into two columns, the one column for the names,
+and the opposite column for the dates of the calls made and returned.
+
+Leaving cards principally devolves upon the mistress of a house; a wife
+should leave cards for her husband, as well as for herself; and a
+daughter for her father. The master of a house has little or no
+card-leaving to do, beyond leaving cards upon his bachelor friends.
+
+In the country it is otherwise, and those who return home are called
+upon by their friends and acquaintances in the first instance, unless
+under exceptional circumstances.
+
+Ladies arriving in town should leave cards on their acquaintances and
+friends to intimate that they have returned.
+
+Visiting cards should be left in person, and should not be sent by post,
+although in town, when the distance is considerable, it is tacitly
+allowed; but, as a rule, ladies invariably leave their cards themselves.
+On arriving in town for the season ladies having a large acquaintance
+often send their visiting cards to their various friends and
+acquaintances by a man-servant or through a stationer.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Routine of Card-leaving.=--As regards the routine of card-leaving.
+When driving, a lady should desire her footman to inquire if the
+mistress of the house at which she is calling is "at home." If not "at
+home," and it is a first call, she should hand him _three_ cards--_one_
+of her own, and _two_ of her husband's. Her card is left for the
+mistress of the house, and her husband's cards for both master and
+mistress.
+
+If not a first call a lady should leave one only of her husband's cards
+if his acquaintance with her friend's husband is an intimate one and
+they are in the habit of meeting frequently. If, on the contrary, they
+know each other but slightly, and meet but seldom, then two of his cards
+should be left. This, however, not on every occasion of calling.
+
+When a lady is merely leaving cards, she should hand the three cards to
+her servant, saying, "For Mrs. ----." This ensures the cards being left
+at the right address, and is the correct formula for the occasion.
+
+When a lady is walking, and finds the mistress of the house at which she
+calls is "not at home," she should act as above.
+
+When a lady intends making a call she should ask if "Mrs. ---- is at
+home?" And if the answer is in the affirmative, she should, after making
+the call, leave _two_ of her husband's cards on the hall table, and
+neither put them in the card-basket nor leave them on the drawing-room
+table, nor offer them to her hostess, all of which would be very
+incorrect; but she might on reaching the hall hand them to the
+man-servant silently, or she might send them in by her own servant when
+seated in her carriage, saying, "For Mr. and Mrs. Smith." She should not
+leave her _own_ card on the hall table, as, having seen the lady of the
+house, the reason for doing so no longer exists.[1]
+
+When a lady calling is accompanied by her husband and the mistress of
+the house is at home, the husband should leave one of his cards only,
+for the absent master of the house; when the master of the house is at
+home also, a card in that case should not be left.
+
+When the mistress of a house has a grown-up daughter or daughters, the
+lady leaving cards should turn down one corner of her visiting card--the
+right-hand corner generally--to include the daughter or daughters in the
+call. This custom of turning down a corner of a visiting card signifies
+that other ladies of the family besides the hostess are included in the
+call. A foreigner turns down the _end_ of a card instead of one corner
+only, which has not the same signification. It is to denote that he has
+left it in person.
+
+A lady should not leave one of her husband's cards for the daughters of
+the house, but she not unfrequently leaves his card for the grown-up
+sons of the house.
+
+When a lady intends leaving cards on a friend who is the guest of some
+one with whom she is unacquainted, she should only leave cards for her
+friend and not for her friend's hostess; but if she is slightly
+acquainted with her friend's hostess, she should leave cards upon her
+on the occasion of her first visit to her friend, but it would not be
+necessary to do so at every subsequent visit, especially if they were of
+frequent occurrence.
+
+Young ladies should not have visiting cards of their own; their names
+should be printed beneath that of their mother on her card. In the case
+of there being no mother living, the daughter's name should be printed
+beneath that of her father on the usual lady's visiting card, but never
+on the smaller cards used by gentlemen. When young ladies are taken out
+into society by relatives or friends, their names should be written in
+pencil under the names of the ladies chaperoning them on their visiting
+cards.
+
+Maiden ladies of a certain age should have visiting cards of their own,
+but until a young lady has attained what is termed a certain age, it
+argues no little independence of action to have a card of her own; but
+when she no longer requires chaperonage, she is entitled to a card of
+her own, being clearly her own mistress, and able to choose her own
+acquaintances.
+
+When a young lady is on a visit unaccompanied by her parents, and wishes
+to call on ladies with whom the lady she is staying with is
+unacquainted, she should leave her mother's card on which her own name
+is also printed, and should draw a pencil through her mother's name to
+intimate that she was not with her on that occasion.
+
+Cards should always be returned within a week if possible, or ten days
+at latest, after they have been left, but to do so within a week is more
+courteous. And care must be taken to return the "call" or "cards"
+according to the etiquette observed by the person making the call or
+leaving the card; that is to say, that a "call" must _not_ be returned
+by a card only, or a "card" by a "call." This is a point ladies should
+be very punctilious about.
+
+Should a lady of higher rank return a card by a "call," asking if the
+mistress of the house were "at home," her so doing would be in strict
+etiquette; and should she return a "call" by a card only, it should be
+understood that she wished the acquaintance to be of the slightest; and
+should a lady call upon an acquaintance of higher rank than herself, who
+had only left a card upon her, her doing so would be a breach of
+etiquette.
+
+In large establishments the hall porter enters the names of all callers
+in a book expressly kept for the purpose, while some ladies merely
+desire their servant to sort the cards left for them.
+
+The name of the lady or gentleman for whom the cards are intended should
+never be written on the cards left at a house. The only case in which it
+should be done would be when cards are left on a lady or a gentleman
+staying at a crowded hotel, when, to save confusion, and to ensure their
+receiving them, their names should be written on them thus: "For Mr. and
+Mrs. Smith." But this would be quite an exceptional case, otherwise to
+do so would be extremely vulgar.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Leaving Cards after Entertainments.=--Visiting cards should be left
+after the following entertainments: balls, receptions, private
+theatricals, amateur concerts, and dinners, by those who have been
+invited, whether the invitations have been accepted or not, and should
+be left the day after the entertainment if possible, and certainly
+within the week according to the rules of card-leaving already
+described. On these occasions cards should be left without inquiry as to
+whether the hostess is at home, although after a dinner-party it is the
+rule to ask if she is at home, as to dine at a house denotes a greater
+intimacy than being present at a large gathering. If the hostess were
+not at home, cards should be left.
+
+If a lady has been but once present at any entertainment, whether the
+invitation came through a mutual friend or direct from the hostess
+herself, the hostess being but a slight acquaintance of her own, besides
+leaving cards on her the day following, she can, if she desires, leave
+cards on her the following season, or, if residing in the same town,
+within a reasonable time of the entertainment; but if these cards are
+not acknowledged by cards being left in return, she should of course
+understand that the acquaintance is to proceed no further.
+
+A lady should not leave cards on another lady to whom she has but
+recently been introduced at a dinner-party or afternoon tea; for
+instance, she must meet her several times in society, and feel sure that
+her acquaintance is desired, before venturing to leave cards. If two
+ladies are of equal rank, tact will be their best guide as to the
+advisability of leaving cards or not upon each other; the lady of
+superior rank may take the initiative if she pleases. If either of the
+ladies express a wish to further the acquaintance by asking the other to
+call upon her, the suggestion should come from the lady of highest rank;
+if of equal rank it is immaterial as to which first makes the
+suggestion. But in either case the call should be paid within the week.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Leaving Cards upon New-comers.=--In the country the residents should be
+the first to leave cards on the new-comers, after ascertaining the
+position which the new-comers occupy in society.
+
+Persons moving in the same sphere should either leave cards or call
+according as they intend to be ceremonious or friendly, and the return
+visits should be paid in like manner, a card for a card, a call for a
+call.
+
+It is the received rule that residents should call on new-comers,
+although having no previous acquaintance with them, or introductions to
+them.
+
+New-comers, even if of higher rank, should not call on residents in the
+first instance, but should wait until the residents have taken the
+initiative. If residents do not wish to continue the acquaintance after
+the first meeting, it is discontinued by not leaving cards, or by not
+calling again, and if the new-comers feel disinclined to continue the
+acquaintance they should return the calls by leaving cards only. Calling
+on new-comers in the country should not be done indiscriminately, and
+due consideration should be paid to individual status in society.
+
+The lady of highest social position in the circle to which the
+new-comers belong generally takes the responsibility of calling first on
+the new-comers. By new-comers is expressed persons who intend to reside
+in a county or town for a long, or even for a short period, and who are
+not casual visitors in the place.
+
+The custom of residents calling on new-comers is entirely confined to
+county society, and does not apply to residents in large towns and
+populous watering-places.
+
+In old cathedral cities and quiet country towns, far from the
+metropolis, on the contrary, the rule holds good of residents calling
+on new-comers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Cards "To Inquire."=--Cards to inquire after friends during their
+illness should be left in person, and should not be sent by post; but
+they may be sent by a servant. On a lady's visiting card should be
+written above the printed name: "To inquire after Mrs. Smith." When the
+person inquired after is sufficiently recovered to return thanks in
+person, the usual visiting card, with "many thanks for kind inquiries,"
+written above the printed name, is the usual mode of returning thanks,
+and is all-sufficient for the purpose.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=P.P.C. Cards.=--Formerly P.P.C. cards were left within a week of
+departure, or within ten days if the acquaintance was a large one.
+
+The letters P.P.C. for _pour prendre conge_, written at the lower corner
+of visiting cards, indicate departure from town or from a neighbourhood.
+P.P.C. cards may be left in person or sent by a servant; they can also
+be sent by post. The object of leaving P.P.C. cards is to avoid
+leave-takings and correspondence concerning departure, and to prevent
+offence being given if letters and invitations remained unanswered.
+
+In the country an absence of from three to six months renders leaving
+P.P.C. cards somewhat necessary; under that period it would be
+unnecessary to give notice of a temporary absence which does not amount
+to an actual departure. Short absences render it unnecessary to leave
+P.P.C. cards. Holiday movements at Christmas, Easter, and Whitsuntide
+are thoroughly recognized, and no leave-taking is obligatory. P.P.C.
+cards are now seldom if ever left in town.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Business Calls.=--When a lady makes a strictly business call upon
+either a lady or gentleman she should give her card to the servant to
+be taken to his master or mistress, but on no other occasion should
+she do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gentlemen's Visiting Cards.=--A gentleman's card should be thin--thick
+cards are not in good taste--and not glazed, and of the usual narrow
+width, _i.e._ one and a half inches in depth, and three inches in width;
+his name should be printed in the centre, thus: "Mr. Smith" or "Mr.
+Francis Smith," should he require the addition of his christian name to
+distinguish him from his father or elder brother. To have "Francis
+Smith" printed on the card without the prefix of "Mr." would be in
+bad taste.
+
+Initials appertaining to honorary rank should never be written or
+printed on a card, such as D.L., K.C., M.P., K.C.B., M.D., etc. Military
+or professional titles necessarily precede the surname of the person
+bearing them, and are always used, such as "Colonel Smith," "Captain
+Smith," "Rev. H. Smith," "Dr. Smith," etc.
+
+As regards titles, "The Honourable" is the only title that is not used
+on a visiting card. Thus "The Honourable Henry Smith's" card should bear
+the words "Mr. Henry Smith" only.
+
+A Baronet's card should be printed thus, "Sir George Smith," and a
+Knight's card thus, "Sir Charles Smith." A gentleman's address should be
+printed in the left hand corner of the card. If a member of a club, it
+is usual to print the name of the club at the right hand. Officers
+usually have the name of the club printed at the left hand corner in the
+place of the address, and the regiment to which they belong at the right
+hand.
+
+Cards should be printed in small copper-plate script, without
+ornamentation of any kind. Old English letters look old-fashioned on a
+card, and are but little used; and ornamental capital letters are never
+used, and are out of date. The lettering should be as plain and as free
+from any sort of embellishment as it well can be.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Routine of Card-leaving for Gentlemen.=--To bachelors card-leaving
+is an irksome routine of etiquette, and is, therefore, in a measure
+often neglected, by reason of their having little or no leisure at
+command during the afternoon hours. This is now thoroughly understood
+and accepted in general society. When, however, a bachelor has his way
+to make in society and has leisure to further the acquaintanceships he
+has already made, he should follow the rules of card-leaving.
+
+Bachelors, as a rule, are expected to leave cards on the master and
+mistress of a house with whom they are acquainted as soon as they are
+aware that the family have arrived in town; or if a bachelor himself has
+been away, he should leave cards on his acquaintances immediately after
+his return. He should leave one card for the mistress of the house and
+one for its master.
+
+A gentleman should not turn down a corner of his card, even though he
+may be acquainted with other ladies of the family besides the mistress
+of the house. A gentleman should not leave a card for the young
+daughters of the house, or for any young relative of its mistress who
+might be staying with her; but if a married couple with whom he is
+acquainted were staying with the friends on whom he is calling, he
+should leave two cards for them, one for the wife and one for the
+husband, and should tell the servant for whom they are intended.
+
+As regards leaving cards upon new acquaintances, a gentleman should not
+leave his card upon a married lady, or the mistress of a house, to whom
+he has been introduced, however gracious or agreeable she has been to
+him, unless she expressly asks him to call, or gives him to understand
+in an unmistakable manner that his doing so would be agreeable to her.
+This rule holds good, whether the introduction has taken place at a
+dinner-party, at a ball, at an "at home," at a country-house gathering,
+or elsewhere; he would not be entitled to leave his card on her on such
+slight acquaintanceship; as, if she desired his further acquaintance,
+she would make some polite allusion to his calling at her house, in
+which case he should leave his card on her as soon afterwards as
+convenient, and he should also leave a card for the master of the house,
+the lady's husband or father (as the case may be), even if he had not
+made his acquaintance when making that of the lady.
+
+A gentleman should not leave a card on a young lady to whom he has
+been introduced, but upon her mother or the relative with whom she
+is residing.
+
+When the acquaintance existing between gentlemen is but slight, they
+should occasionally leave cards upon each other, especially when they do
+not move in the same circle, and are not otherwise likely to meet; it
+generally follows that the one who most desires the acquaintanceship is
+the one to leave his card first, always supposing that the strength of
+the acquaintance would warrant his so doing. The one of highest rank
+should be the one to intimate that he desires the acquaintance of the
+other; if the rank be equal, it is a matter of inclination which calls
+first.
+
+The rules of etiquette, though stringent as regards acquaintances, have
+little or no application as regards intimate friends; friendship
+overrules etiquette.
+
+When a bachelor has a number of intimate friends, very little
+card-leaving is required from him as far as they are concerned.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Leaving Cards after Entertainments.=--In the event of a gentleman
+receiving an invitation to an entertainment from an acquaintance, or
+from a new acquaintance, or through some mutual friend, he should leave
+his cards at the house within a week or ten days after the
+entertainment, one for the mistress and one for the master of the house,
+whether he has accepted the invitation or not. Between friends this rule
+is greatly relaxed.
+
+It is usual for a gentleman to leave his cards on the host or on the
+hostess, after every entertainment to which he has been invited by them,
+whether it be a dinner-party, or ball, or "at home," etc. Whether he has
+been present or not, the fact of his having been invited by them obliges
+him to pay them this civility, although great latitude as regards time
+is now accorded in general society with regard to this particular rule.
+
+If invited by a new acquaintance, the cards should be left a few days
+after the entertainment, but if by a less recent acquaintance they
+should be left within ten days or a fortnight, but the earlier the cards
+are left the greater the politeness shown.
+
+If a bachelor acquaintance gives an entertainment, the same rule applies
+as to the necessity of cards being left on him by those gentlemen but
+slightly acquainted with him who have been invited to the entertainment.
+
+When a gentleman has been invited to an entertainment given at the house
+of a new acquaintance, whether the acquaintance be a lady or a
+gentleman, it would be etiquette for him to leave his card upon them on
+their arrival in town or elsewhere, even though they may not have
+invited him to any subsequent entertainment given by them within the
+year. If during the following year they do not again invite him, he
+might consider the acquaintance at an end and cease to call. These
+complimentary calls made, or rather cards left, should not average more
+than four during the year.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Memorial Cards= are out of date in society, and consequently should not
+be sent to either relatives or friends.
+
+A widow should not make use of her christian name on her visiting cards
+to distinguish her from other members of her late husband's family. Her
+cards should be printed as during his lifetime.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[1] It is, however, permissible on the occasion of a _first_ call to
+say, "I shall leave my card in the hall to remind you of my address";
+or some such phrase.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV
+
+PAYING CALLS
+
+
+Ladies stand upon strict and ceremonious etiquette with each other as
+regards both paying and receiving calls. Ignorance or neglect of the
+rules which regulate paying calls, brings many inconveniences in its
+train; for instance, when a lady neglects to pay a call due to an
+acquaintance, she runs the risk of herself and daughters being excluded
+from entertainments given by the said acquaintance.
+
+When a call has not been made within a reasonable time, a coldness is
+apt to arise between ladies but slightly acquainted with each other.
+Some ladies take this omission good-naturedly or indifferently, while
+with others the acquaintance merges into a mere bowing acquaintance to
+be subsequently dropped altogether.
+
+The first principle of calling is, that those who are the first to
+arrive in town should be the _first_ to call upon their acquaintances to
+intimate their return.
+
+"Morning calls," so designated on account of their being made before
+dinner, are, more strictly speaking, "afternoon calls," as they should
+only be made between the hours of three and six o'clock.
+
+Calls made in the morning--that is before one o'clock--would not come
+under the denomination of "morning calls," as they can only be made by
+intimate friends and not by acquaintances, and are not, therefore,
+amenable to the rules of etiquette which govern the afternoon calls,
+which calls are regulated in a great measure--as to the hour of
+calling--by the exact degree of intimacy existing between the person who
+calls and the person called upon. From three to four o'clock is the
+ceremonious hour for calling; from four to five o'clock is the
+semi-ceremonious hour; and from five to six o'clock is the wholly
+friendly and without ceremony hour.
+
+If a lady is driving when she calls at the house of an acquaintance, she
+should say to her servant, "Ask if Mrs. A---- is at home."
+
+When a lady is walking, she should ask the same question herself.
+
+When the answer is in the negative, she should leave one of her own
+cards and one of her husband's, and should say to the servant, "For Mr.
+and Mrs. A----."
+
+When the answer is in the affirmative, the lady should enter the house
+without further remark and follow the servant to the drawing-room.
+
+The servant should go before the visitor, to lead the way to the
+drawing-room, and, however accustomed a visitor may be to a house, it is
+still the proper etiquette for the servant to lead the way, and announce
+him or her to his mistress; and this rule should not be dispensed with,
+except in the case of very near relations or very intimate friends.
+
+At the drawing-room door the servant waits for a moment until the
+visitor has reached the landing, when the visitor should give his or her
+name to the servant, "Mr. A----" or "Mrs. A----," should the servant be
+unacquainted with it.
+
+If the visitor calling bears the title of "Honourable" it should not be
+mentioned by him or her to the servant when giving the name, neither
+should it be mentioned by the servant when announcing the visitor.
+
+All titles are given in full by the servants of those who bear them,
+thus: "The Duke and Duchess of A----," "The Marquis and Marchioness of
+B----," "The Earl and Countess of C----," "Viscount and Viscountess
+D----," "Lord and Lady E----," etc.; but a marchioness, a countess, or a
+viscountess when giving her name to be announced at a morning call would
+style herself "Lady A----" only.
+
+A gentleman or lady should never give his or her visiting card to the
+servant when the mistress of the house is at home.
+
+A servant should not knock at the drawing-room door when announcing
+visitors. The servant, on opening the drawing-room door, should stand
+inside the doorway, he should not stand behind the door, but well into
+the room; facing the mistress of the house if possible, and should say,
+"Mr. A----," or "Mrs. A----."
+
+When the mistress of the house is not in the drawing-room when a visitor
+arrives, the visitor should seat herself and rise at her entrance.
+
+Visitors should not make any inquiries of the servant as to how long his
+mistress will be, or where she is, or what she is doing, etc. Visitors
+are not expected to converse with the servants of their acquaintances,
+and should not enter into conversation with them.
+
+Formerly a gentleman when calling, took his hat and stick in his hand
+with him into the drawing-room, and held them until he had seen the
+mistress of the house and shaken hands with her. He either placed them
+on a chair or table near at hand or held them in his hand, according as
+to whether he felt at ease or the reverse, until he took his leave. Many
+middle-aged and elderly men still follow this fashion in a degree, and
+take their hats and sticks into the drawing-room when making formal
+calls.
+
+The newer fashion amongst younger men is to leave their hats and sticks
+in the hall and not to take them into the drawing-room with them when
+calling. To do this is now very general, as hats are in the way if tea
+is going on; besides, men were apt to forget where they placed their
+hats, and frequently had to return to the drawing-room in search of
+them.
+
+At "at homes," small afternoon teas, luncheons, dinners, etc., the rule
+is the same, and hats are left in the hall by invited guests.
+
+A gentleman should not take his stick or umbrella with him into the
+drawing-room, but leave it in the hall.
+
+When gentlemen wear gloves, they can take them off or keep them on as
+they please, it is immaterial which they do, but when a call is made
+when tea is going on, it is more usual to take them off.
+
+When the mistress of the house is in the drawing-room when a visitor is
+announced--and she should so arrange her occupations as always to be
+found there on the afternoons when she intends being "at home" should
+visitors call--she should rise, come forward, and shake hands with her
+visitor. She should not ask her visitor to be seated, or to "take a
+seat," but she might say, "Where will you sit?" or, "Will you sit here?"
+or something to this effect; and should at once sit down and expect her
+visitor to do the same, as near to herself as possible.
+
+Both hostess and visitor should guard against displaying a fussy
+demeanour during a morning call, as a morning call is oftener than not a
+_tete-a-tete_, and a _tete-a-tete_ between two persons but slightly
+acquainted with each other requires a considerable amount of tact and
+_savoir vivre_ to be sustained with ease and self-possession. A fussy
+woman is without repose, without dignity, and without _savoir vivre_.
+
+A hostess betrays that she is not much accustomed to society when she
+attempts to amuse her visitor by the production of albums, photographs,
+books, illustrated newspapers, portfolios of drawings, the artistic
+efforts of the members of the family, and the like; conversation being
+all that is necessary, without having recourse to pictorial displays.
+
+If not intimate enough to refer to family matters, the conversation
+should turn on light topics of the hour.[2]
+
+People unused to society are apt to fall back upon the above
+adventitious aids. A hostess should rely solely upon her own powers of
+conversation to make the short quarter of an hour--which is the limit of
+a ceremonious call--pass pleasantly to her visitor. The hostess should
+not offer her visitor any refreshments, wine and cake, for instance. No
+refreshments whatever, save tea, should be offered to morning visitors;
+they are not supposed to require them.
+
+In the country it is customary to offer sherry to gentlemen callers, and
+to order tea for the ladies, even though the call is made rather early
+in the afternoon, and a little before the hour for having tea.
+
+Ceremonious visits are usually paid before the hour of half-past four;
+but if tea is brought in while the visitor is in the drawing-room, or if
+the visitor calls while the hostess is having tea, she should naturally
+offer her visitor tea.
+
+When the mistress of the house only expects a few callers, "tea" is
+placed on a small table--a silver tray being generally used for the
+purpose. The hostess should pour out the tea herself; when a gentleman
+is present, he should hand the cups to the visitors or visitor,
+otherwise the hostess should herself do so, and then hand the sugar and
+cream, without asking whether her visitors will have either, unless she
+is preparing the cups of tea herself, in which case she should ask the
+question.
+
+When a second visitor arrives, ten or fifteen minutes after the first
+visitor, the first visitor should take her leave as soon as she
+conveniently can. When the second visitor is a lady, the hostess should
+rise and shake hands with her, and then seat herself; the first visitor,
+if a lady, should not rise; if a gentleman, he should do so.
+
+A hostess should also rise and come forward when a gentleman is
+announced; this gives her an opportunity of talking to him for a few
+moments on his first entering the room. The second visitor should at
+once seat him or herself near to the hostess.
+
+She should introduce the callers to each other unless she has some
+especial reason for not doing so. She could, however, in the course of
+conversation merely mention the name of each caller, so that each may
+become aware of the name of the other. This is now often done when
+formal introductions are not made. If the hostess possesses tact, and a
+facility and readiness of speech, she should skilfully draw both callers
+into the conversation (a subject which is fully enlarged upon in "The
+Art of Conversing"). The hostess should not take this latter course
+unless aware that the two visitors would be likely to appreciate
+each other.
+
+When one visitor arrives immediately after the other, the hostess should
+converse equally with both visitors, and the lady who was the first to
+arrive should be the first to leave, after a call of from ten to fifteen
+minutes. When only one visitor is present the hostess should accompany
+her to the door of the drawing-room, and linger for a few moments,
+whilst the visitor is descending the stairs. To do so would not be
+imperative, but it would be courteous. When the host is present he
+should accompany the lady downstairs into the hall; this also is an
+optional civility, and greatly depends upon the estimation in which the
+lady is held by host and hostess.
+
+When two visitors are present the hostess should rise and shake hands
+with the departing visitor; but unless a person of greater consideration
+than the visitor who still remained seated, she should not accompany her
+to the drawing-room door.
+
+One visitor should not rise from her seat when another is about to take
+her leave. When visitors are acquainted with each other they should rise
+and shake hands. When one of the visitors is a gentleman he should rise,
+even if unacquainted with the lady who is about to take her leave; he
+should not remain seated when the hostess is standing.
+
+When two visitors, either two ladies or two gentlemen, have slightly
+conversed with each other during a morning call, they should not shake
+hands with each other on leaving, but should merely bow. When they have
+not spoken to each other, they should not bow.
+
+When they have been formally introduced they should still only bow,
+unless the acquaintance has progressed into sudden intimacy through
+previous knowledge of each other.
+
+When one of the visitors present is a gentleman he should open the
+drawing-room door for the departing visitor, but he should not accompany
+her downstairs unless requested by the hostess to do so; the visitor
+should bow to him and thank him, but not shake hands with him.
+
+When the hostess has shaken hands with a guest, and before crossing the
+room with her, she should ring the drawing-room bell, that the servant
+may be in readiness in the hall to open the door. She should ring the
+bell even if the host were accompanying the lady downstairs. It would be
+thoughtless on the part of the hostess to forget to ring the bell to
+give notice to the servant that a visitor was leaving.
+
+In the country, the caller before rising to depart sometimes asks if she
+may ring for her motor-car to come round. When the hostess is in reach
+of the bell, she should ring it for her; when a gentleman is present, he
+should do so. On the servant's entrance, the caller should say, "My
+motor-car, please!"
+
+When a lady is calling on a friend, the guest of some one with whom she
+herself is unacquainted, or even but slightly acquainted, she should in
+both cases ask if her friend is at home, and not if the mistress of the
+house is at home; and having paid her visit, on leaving the house she
+should leave cards for its mistress if she is slightly acquainted with
+her, but should not do so if she is unacquainted with her.
+
+When a lady has a guest staying on a visit to her, if convenient, she
+should, when her guest expected visitors, absent herself from the
+drawing-room at that particular time, unless the expected visitors are
+mutual friends of herself and guest.
+
+If she is in the drawing-room with her guests when a visitor is
+announced so as to render an introduction inevitable, a formal
+introduction should be made, but the mistress of the house, after a very
+few minutes, should make some excuse, quietly leave the room, and not
+return until after the departure of the visitor. It would be
+inconsiderate were the mistress of the house to remain in the
+drawing-room while calls were paid to her guest by strangers to herself
+unless at her guest's particular request. When a visitor is a gentleman,
+and the guest a young unmarried lady, the mistress of the house should
+remain in the drawing-room to chaperon her.
+
+When the mistress of the house is desirous of making the acquaintance of
+any particular friend of her guest, from whom she expected a visit, when
+the visit occurs and previous to the visitor taking her leave, the guest
+should ask if she will allow her to introduce her to the lady with whom
+she is staying. If her visitor desires the introduction, she should then
+ring and request the servant to tell his mistress that Mrs. A. is in the
+drawing-room, which message the hostess would understand to mean that
+her presence is desired, and the introduction would then be made on her
+appearing. An introduction, if made in this manner, could become the
+basis of a future acquaintance, both ladies having had the option of
+refusing the acquaintance of the other if so disposed; whereas a forced
+introduction where no option is given would hardly count as the basis of
+a future acquaintance unless the ladies thus introduced mutually
+appreciated each other.
+
+In the country a guest seldom has friends and acquaintances in the
+neighbourhood, who are unknown to her hostess; if otherwise, the
+hostess should give her guest the opportunity of seeing her visitor by
+leaving them together when the call is made.
+
+When a guest is present when the mistress of a house is receiving
+callers, she should introduce them to her guest or her guest to them,
+according to the rank of either (see Chapter II.).
+
+When a lady is driving with a friend who is a stranger to the
+acquaintance on whom she is calling, she should not take her into the
+house with her while she makes her call, unless she is a young lady, or
+unless there is some especial reason for introducing the two ladies to
+each other, or unless both ladies have expressed a wish to become
+acquainted with each other. Husbands and wives occasionally pay calls
+together, but oftener they do not. A lady, as a rule, pays a call by
+herself, unless she has a grown-up daughter, when she should accompany
+her mother.
+
+Occasionally two ladies, both intimate with the lady of the house, pay
+their calls together. A family party, of father and mother and daughter,
+or daughters, rarely call in town together, save under very exceptional
+circumstances; but in the country a family party of three or four
+would, as a matter of course, call together; it is country etiquette
+to do so.
+
+A considerable difference exists with regard to "Sunday calls," or
+calling on Sundays. Ladies should not pay ceremonious calls on Sundays;
+it would not be etiquette for an acquaintance to call on a Sunday, it
+would rather be considered a liberty, unless she were expressly asked to
+do so. Intimate friends, on the contrary, often make Sunday a special
+day for calling, and therefore, ladies and gentlemen--more especially
+gentlemen--extend their calling hours from three until six o'clock
+on Sundays.
+
+When a lady is acquainted with the daughters of a family only, and not
+with their father or mother, she should call on the daughters, who
+should at once introduce her to their mother on the next occasion of
+calling. If the mother is not present, the lady calling should leave
+cards for her; and at all morning calls, when the daughters of the house
+receive a ceremonious visit from an acquaintance, in the absence of
+their mother, whether from indisposition or any other cause, cards
+should be left for her in the hall before leaving by the lady calling
+(see Chapter III.).
+
+In all cases, when "morning calls" are made, and the lady called on is
+not at home, cards should be left according to the etiquette described
+in Chapter II., an etiquette which should be strictly observed; when the
+lady called on is "at home," cards should be left for the gentlemen of
+the family, according to the same rules of card-leaving, which cannot be
+too punctiliously followed.
+
+A mistress of a house should inform her servant after or before
+luncheon, or before the hours for calling, whether she intends to be "at
+home" to visitors or not during the afternoon.
+
+"Not at home" is the understood formula expressive of not wishing to
+see visitors.
+
+"Not at home" is not intended to imply an untruth, but rather to signify
+that for some reason, or reasons, it is not desirable to see visitors;
+and as it would be impossible to explain to acquaintances the why and
+the wherefore of its being inconvenient to receive visitors, the formula
+of "Not at home" is all-sufficient explanation, provided always that a
+servant is able to give a direct answer at once of "Not at home" when
+the query is put to him. If a servant is not sure as to whether his
+mistress wishes to see visitors or not, it is almost a direct offence to
+the lady calling if he hesitates as to his answer, and leaves her either
+sitting in her carriage or standing in the hall, while "He will see if
+his mistress is 'at home,'" perhaps returning with the unsatisfactory
+answer that she is "Not at home"; in which case the intimation is almost
+received as a personal exclusion rather than as a general exclusion
+of visitors.
+
+If a lady is dressing to go out when a visitor calls, the servant can
+mention that fact to a visitor calling, and offer to ascertain if his
+mistress will see the caller; and the caller should use her own
+discretion as to whether she will allow him to do so or not; but unless
+the visit is one of importance, it would be best in such a case only to
+leave cards.
+
+When a second visitor calls, a servant should not be permitted to say
+that his mistress is "engaged with a lady," or "with a gentleman," but
+should usher the second caller into the drawing-room, as he has
+previously done the first caller. He should not inquire as to whether
+his mistress will see the second caller or not. Neither should he inform
+the second caller as to whether any one is or is not with his mistress,
+as ignorant servants are too apt to do.
+
+It is not usual to offer coffee at afternoon tea; tea only is given. To
+offer coffee is a foreign fashion, and not an English one.
+
+"Morning" callers should not be conducted to the dining-room to have
+tea; and tea is only served in the dining-room on the occasion of a
+large afternoon tea, or afternoon "at home," etc. (See chapter on
+"Afternoon 'At Homes'" p. 151.)
+
+The tea hour varies from 4 to 4.30 o'clock. When callers are present at
+4 o'clock, tea should be brought in at that hour. It should be placed
+upon a small table, which is first covered with a white linen or damask
+tea-cloth. The tea-tray should be large enough to hold, in addition to
+the china, silver teapot, etc., an urn for hot water, which should be
+brought in and placed upon it. A stand containing hot cakes, an uncut
+cake, small cakes, tiny sandwiches, and thin bread-and-butter should be
+placed near to the tea-table. Tiny tea-plates should be placed in a pile
+upon the tea-tray, they being in general use. The hostess or her
+daughter should pour out the tea.
+
+Apart from the foregoing style of afternoon tea is the newer fashion of
+what might be termed "a round-table tea," at which hostess and guests
+sit, but this style is more usual at country houses than in town houses
+at present, on account of the space required, if for no other reason.
+The tea is served in a smaller drawing-room, upon a large round or oval
+table, which is covered with a white table-cloth, upon which the
+tea-tray with all its contents is placed. Cakes, hot and cold,
+sandwiches, pastry, fruit, jam, bread-and-butter, biscuits, dry toast,
+etc., are given, and the visitors seated at the table help themselves to
+what they require. The hostess pours out the tea and hands the cups as
+when guests are not seated in this way. Dessert plates and dessert
+knives and forks should be placed on the table beside the small
+tea-plates, to be taken as required.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[2] See work entitled "The Art of Conversing."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+PRECEDENCY
+
+
+The order of precedency due to each individual according to rank is a
+matter of great importance at official banquets and at ceremonious
+dinner-parties, when its correct observance should be strictly
+adhered to.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards Precedency amongst Royal Personages=, the Sovereign takes
+precedence of all others in the realm; the King takes precedence of
+Queen Mary. The Prince of Wales takes precedence of the Duke of
+Connaught. Queen Alexandra takes precedence of the Royal Princesses. The
+Royal Princesses take precedence of their husbands, Prince Christian and
+the Duke of Argyll.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Precedency accorded to Foreign Royal Personages= in this country
+very much depends upon their individual rank. Imperial Highnesses and
+Royal Highnesses take precedence of Serene Highnesses.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Precedency accorded to Eastern Princes= is generally synonymous
+with that accorded to Serene Highnesses; but in some instances the
+claims of individual precedency are so difficult to define, that in
+official cases it is sometimes necessary to make a special rule as to
+the amount of precedency to be allowed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards General Precedency=, archbishops, ambassadors, The Lord High
+Chancellor, The Prime Minister, Lord Chancellor of Ireland, Lord
+President of the Council, and Lord Privy Seal, take precedence of
+dukes; dukes take precedence of earls, and so on throughout the various
+degrees of nobility.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Foreign Ministers and Envoys= take precedence next after dukes, in the
+order of their seniority of service in England. In all cases where
+precedency is to be established between persons of equal rank it is
+necessary to refer to a Peerage for date of creation of title, as this
+actually decides all precedency.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For Precedency due to Baronets= and their wives a Baronetage should
+be consulted.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For Precedency due to Knights= and their wives a Knightage should be
+consulted in reference to each order of knighthood.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Precedency due to the Legal Profession= a Law List should be
+consulted when it is not defined by office or birth.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Precedency due to the Clergy= a Clergy List should be consulted
+when superior preferment or birth does not define it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Precedency due to Officers= in the army and navy an Army List
+and a Navy List should be consulted to determine the precedency due to
+each in the separate Services.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Officers should be sent in to Dinner= according to the dates of
+commission, but no branch of the Army takes precedence over the other as
+regards rank of officers; that is to say, a colonel of 1901, of say, a
+West India regiment, would precede a colonel of Guards, artillery or
+cavalry of 1902 promotion. Drawn up on a brigade parade, the cavalry
+take the right of the line; thus: Artillery, Royal Engineers, footguards
+and regular regiments, regiments and West India regiments, in the order
+named in the Army List.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards Precedency between Officers= of the combined Services a
+table of "Relative Rank and Precedency in the Army and Navy" should be
+consulted, as a captain in the navy after three years' service ranks
+with a colonel in the army, a lieutenant of the navy of eight years'
+standing ranks with a major in the army, and a lieutenant under that
+standing in the navy, ranks with a captain in the army, etc.
+
+Consulate officers also take precedence according to seniority of
+service in England and date of official arrival. The Foreign Office List
+of the current year should be consulted for date in each instance.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards the Precedence due to Widows= bearing titles who have
+married again: The widow of a peer married to a commoner retains her
+title by courtesy, and the precedency due to the title is accorded
+to her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the Widow of a Duke= marries a person of lower rank than that of
+her late husband, she still retains her precedency.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Daughter of a Peer= if married to a baronet or a commoner retains
+her precedency, but if married to a baron her precedency is merged in
+that of her husband.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Widow of a Baronet= married to a commoner retains her title by
+right and not by courtesy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Widow of a Knight= married to a commoner retains her title by
+courtesy only, but the precedency due to the widow of a knight is
+accorded to her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the Daughter of a Duke= marries a peer she takes the precedency
+due to the rank of her husband; if she marries a commoner, precedency is
+accorded to her due to the daughter of a duke.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Age confers no Precedency= on either sex. Equals in rank from the
+highest to the lowest take precedence according to the creation of their
+title and not as regards the age of the person bearing the title. As,
+for instance, a youthful duke would take precedence of an aged duke, if
+the title of the youthful duke bore an earlier date than that of the
+aged duke. The same rule applies equally to baronets and knights.
+
+When two earls are present at a dinner-party, the date of their
+respective patents of nobility decides the order of precedency due
+to them.
+
+A host or hostess should always consult a "Peerage" or a "Baronetage" if
+in doubt as to the precedence due to expected guests bearing titles;
+wealth or social position are not taken into account in this matter, it
+being strictly a question of date.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Precedence due to Ladies of Equal Rank= takes effect in the same
+manner. Thus, a young wife of a baronet takes precedence over the
+elderly wife of a baronet if the creation of her husband's title bears
+an earlier date.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the Claims to Precedency of Persons of Equal Rank= clash, the
+claims of a gentleman should be waived in favour of those of a lady,
+should the persons be of opposite sexes. Thus, if two couples of
+superior rank to the other guests were present at a dinner-party, the
+host should take down the lady of highest rank, and the hostess should
+be taken down by the gentleman of highest rank, in which case the lady
+second in rank should go in to dinner _before_ her husband, although
+the gentleman taking her down to dinner were of lower rank than her
+husband.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Esquires, and the Wives of Esquires=, take precedence according to
+their social position. Members of Parliament have no precedence, though
+it is often accorded to them as a matter of courtesy, especially in the
+county which they represent; the wives of members of Parliament are
+likewise entitled to no precedence on the ground of their husbands being
+members of Parliament.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The High Sheriff of a County= takes precedence over all other gentlemen
+in the county, of whatever rank, save the lord-lieutenant, according to
+the Royal warrant issued by His late Majesty King Edward, giving
+precedence to lord-lieutenants of counties before high sheriffs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The High Sheriff= out of his particular county has no precedence,
+neither has a lord-lieutenant; and the wives of either lords-lieutenants
+or high sheriffs take no precedence on account of their husbands'
+official dignity.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=An Assize Judge= takes precedence over the high sheriff as the assize
+judge represents the Sovereign of the Realm.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Clergymen, Barristers-at-Law=, officers in the army and navy take
+precedence over esquires on account of such rank; and in each profession
+precedence should be accorded them according to dignity, date of
+ordination, date of call, and date of commission in their several
+professions, assuming that the rank is equal.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=High Clerical and Legal Dignitaries= take special precedence; for
+instance, the Archbishop of Canterbury takes precedence of all dukes,
+and the Lord Chancellor takes precedence of the Archbishop of York, who
+also takes precedence of dukes; bishops take precedence of all barons,
+whatever their date of creation. The Lord Chief Justice, the Master of
+the Rolls, when not peers, and all judges of the High Court of Justice
+in their various divisions, take precedence after Privy Councillors and
+before baronets and all knights, save the Knights of the Garter.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Relative Rank between Officers of the Army and Navy= and doctors of
+divinity is somewhat difficult to determine as regards the precedence to
+be given them at a dinner-party. "Dod" places "esquires by office,
+which, of course, includes all officers of the army and navy," next
+_before_ the younger sons of knights and before doctors in divinity, who
+follow next in order; while "Lodge" places "officers of the navy and
+army" _after_ the younger sons of knights bachelor, clergymen, and
+barristers-at-law.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Precedency at Dinner-Parties.=--When royalty is present at a
+dinner-party, a prince of blood royal takes precedence of a princess,
+and leads the way with the hostess, the host following next with the
+princess. On the other hand, a princess of the blood royal takes
+precedence of a foreign prince--her husband--and leads the way with
+the host.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Host should take down the Lady of Highest Rank=, and lead the way
+with her to the dining-room. The guests should follow the host in
+couples according to the degree of precedence due to them, and the
+hostess should follow the last couple with the gentleman of highest
+rank present.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Greater Number of Gentlemen= than ladies are present at a
+dinner-party, as is often the case, these gentlemen should follow the
+hostess to the dining-room and not precede her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Widow or Maiden Lady is Hostess,= and there is no gentleman of
+the family present to act as host, the gentleman second in rank should
+take down the lady of highest rank, leading the way with her to the
+dining-room, the hostess following last, with the gentleman of highest
+rank.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In the Case of either a Husband's Sister= or a wife's sister being
+required to act as hostess, precedence should be given to the
+wife's sister.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=An Eldest Son's Wife= should take precedence of her husband's sisters
+in his father's house.
+
+As regards the precedence due to the relatives of a host or hostess, it
+should give way in favour of that due to the guests not related to the
+host or hostess, although their relatives might be, perhaps, of higher
+rank than the guests themselves.
+
+Occasionally, the eldest son of the house acts as second host, taking
+down a lady second or third in rank; but the daughters of the house
+should always be taken down to dinner after the other ladies present,
+and in no case before them.
+
+No precedence is accorded to either a lady or a gentleman by virtue of a
+mother's rank.
+
+No precedence is accorded to brides in society, though occasionally in
+the country old-fashioned people consider it due to a bride to send her
+in to dinner with the host on the occasion of her first dining at a
+house within three months of her marriage.
+
+
+Table of General Precedency
+
+GENTLEMEN
+
+  The King.
+  The Prince of Wales.
+  The Sovereign's younger sons.
+  The Sovereign's grandsons.
+  The Sovereign's brothers.
+  The Sovereign's uncles.
+  The Sovereign's nephews.
+  Ambassadors.
+  Archbishop of Canterbury.
+  Lord High Chancellor.
+  Archbishop of York.
+  The Prime Minister.
+  Lord Chancellor of Ireland.
+  Lord President of the Council.
+  Lord Privy Seal.
+  Dukes who may happen to hold either of these five offices--
+    1. Lord Great Chamberlain.
+    2. Earl Marshal.
+    3. Lord Steward.
+    4. Lord Chamberlain.
+    5. Master of the Horse.
+  Dukes in order of their patents of creation--
+    1. Dukes of England.
+    2.   "   " Scotland.
+    3. Dukes of Great Britain.
+    4.   "   " Ireland created before the Union.
+    5. Dukes created since the Union.
+  Eldest sons of Dukes of Blood Royal.
+  Marquesses who may hold either of the Offices of State named above.
+  Marquesses in same order as Dukes.
+  Dukes' eldest sons.
+  Earls holding either of the five Offices of State.
+  Earls in same order as Dukes.
+  Younger sons of Dukes of Blood Royal.
+  Marquesses' eldest sons.
+  Dukes' younger sons.
+  Viscounts who may hold either of the five Offices of State.
+  Viscounts in same order as Dukes.
+  Earls' eldest sons.
+  Marquesses' younger sons.
+  Bishop of London.
+      "     Durham.
+      "     Winchester.
+  Other English Bishops in order of their consecration.
+  Moderator of the Church of Scotland.
+  Barons holding either of the five Offices of State.
+  Barons who may be Secretaries of State or Irish Secretary.
+  Barons in same order as Dukes.
+  The Speaker of the House of Commons.
+  Treasurer of the Household.
+  Comptroller of the Household.
+  Vice-Chamberlain of the Household.
+  Secretaries of State below the rank of Barons.
+  Viscounts' eldest sons.
+  Earls' younger sons.
+  Barons' eldest sons.
+  Commoners who are Knights of the Garter.
+  Privy Councillors of rank lower than the foregoing, according to date
+    they were sworn in.
+  Chancellor of the Exchequer.
+      "       "   " Duchy of Lancaster.
+  Lord Chief Justice of England.
+  Master of the Rolls.
+  Lords Justices of Appeal and President of Probate Court.
+  Judges of the High Court of Justice.
+  Viscounts' younger sons.
+  Barons'      "       "
+  Sons of Life Peers.
+  Baronets according to dates of patents.
+  Knights Grand Cross of Bath.
+  Knights Grand Commanders, Star of India.
+  Knights Grand Cross of St. Michael and St. George.
+  Knights Grand Commanders of Indian Empire.
+  Knights Grand Cross of Royal Victorian Order.
+  Knights Commanders of above Orders in same sequence.
+  Knights Bachelors of above Orders in same sequence.
+  Commanders of the Royal Victorian Order.
+  Judges of County Courts in England and Ireland, and Judges of the
+    City of London Court.
+  Masters in Lunacy.
+  Companions of Orders of Bath, Star of India, SS. Michael and George,
+    and Indian Empire in same sequence.
+  Members of 4th class of Royal Victorian Order.
+  Companions of Distinguished Service Order.
+  Eldest sons of younger sons of Peers.
+  Baronets' eldest sons.
+  Knights' eldest sons, in order of their fathers.
+  Members of 5th class of Royal Victorian Order.
+  Younger sons of Peers' younger sons.
+  Baronets' younger sons.
+  Knights' younger sons, in order of their fathers.
+  Naval, Military, and other Esquires by Office.
+  Gentlemen entitled to bear Coat Armour.
+
+
+LADIES
+
+  The Queen.
+  The Queen Mother.
+  The Sovereign's daughters.
+  Wives of Sovereign's younger sons.
+  Sovereign's granddaughters.
+  Wives of Sovereign's grandsons.
+  Sovereign's sisters.
+  Wives of Sovereign's brothers.
+  Sovereign's aunts.
+  Wives of Sovereign's uncles.
+  Sovereign's nieces.
+  Wives of Sovereign's nephews.
+  Duchesses (in same order as Dukes).
+  Wives of eldest sons of Dukes of Blood Royal.
+  Marchionesses.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Dukes.
+  Daughters of Dukes.
+  Countesses.
+  Wives of younger sons of Royal Dukes.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Marquesses.
+  Daughters of Marquesses.
+  Wives of younger sons of Dukes.
+  Viscountesses.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Earls.
+  Daughters of Earls.
+  Wives of younger sons of Marquesses.
+  Baronesses.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Viscounts.
+  Daughters of Viscounts.
+  Wives of younger sons of Earls.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Barons.
+  Daughters of Barons.
+  Maids of Honour.
+  Wives of younger sons of Viscounts.
+  Wives of younger sons of Barons.
+  Daughters and sons' wives of Life Peers.
+  Wives of Baronets.
+  Daughters of Baronets.
+  Wives of eldest sons of Knights.
+  Daughters of Knights.
+  Wives of younger sons of Peers' younger sons.
+  Wives of younger sons of Baronets.
+  Wives of younger sons of Knights.
+  Wives of Esquires.
+  Wives of Gentlemen.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+THE COLLOQUIAL APPLICATION OF TITLES
+
+
+The colloquial application of titles differs materially from the
+application of titles when not used colloquially, and many persons are
+in doubt as to whether they should or should not make use colloquially
+of titles in full.
+
+His Majesty the King should be addressed as "Sir" by all those who come
+in social contact with him; and by all others as "Your Majesty."
+
+Her Majesty Queen Mary should be addressed as "Ma'm" by all those who
+come in social contact with her; and by all others as "Your Majesty."
+
+Her Majesty Queen Alexandra should be addressed as "Ma'm" by all those
+who come in social contact with her; and by all others as "Your
+Majesty."
+
+The Prince of Wales, the Duke of Connaught, and all princes of the blood
+royal, should be addressed by the upper classes as "Sir."
+
+The princesses of the blood royal, should be addressed as "Ma'm" by the
+upper classes. The wives of the princes of the blood royal should also
+be addressed as "Ma'm" by the upper classes.
+
+All crowned heads visiting England should be addressed as "Sir" by those
+socially known to them, and as "Your Majesty" by all others. The Royal
+ladies, their wives, should be addressed as "Ma'm" by those personally
+known to them, and as "Your Majesty" by all others.
+
+A foreign prince bearing the title of Serene Highness should be
+addressed as "Prince," and not as "Sir," by the aristocracy and gentry,
+and as "Your Serene Highness" by all other classes.
+
+A foreign princess, also bearing the title of serene highness, should be
+styled "Princess" when addressed colloquially by the upper classes, but
+not as "Ma'am"; and as "Your Serene Highness" by all other classes.
+
+An English duke should be addressed as "Duke" by the aristocracy and
+gentry, and not as "Your Grace" by members of either of these classes.
+All other classes should address him colloquially as "Your Grace."
+
+An English duchess should be addressed as "Duchess" by all persons
+conversing with her belonging to the upper classes, and as "Your Grace"
+by all other classes.
+
+A marquess, colloquially, should be addressed as "Lord A."
+
+A marchioness should be addressed as "Lady A." by the upper classes. It
+would be a mistake to address an English marquess as "Marquess," or a
+marchioness as "Marchioness," colloquially speaking. All other classes
+should address them either as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship," "My Lady" or
+"Your Ladyship."
+
+An earl should be addressed as "Lord B." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+A countess should be addressed as "Lady B." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+A viscount should be addressed as "Lord C." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+A viscountess should be addressed as "Lady C." by the upper classes, and
+as "My Lady" or "Your ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+A baron should be addressed as "Lord D." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+A baroness should be addressed as "Lady D." by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+In strictly official or business intercourse a marquess, an earl, a
+viscount, a baron, and a younger son of a duke or marquis, should be
+addressed as "My Lord."
+
+The eldest son of a duke should be addressed as "Lord A." by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+The wife of the eldest son of a duke should be addressed as "Lady A."
+by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all
+other classes.
+
+The younger sons of a duke should be addressed as "Lord John E." or
+"Lord Charles E." by the upper classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your
+Lordship" by all other classes. Persons well acquainted with them would
+address them colloquially by their title and christian name, as "Lord
+John" or "Lord Charles." The same remark applies to their wives, who are
+often colloquially addressed as "Lady Alfred" or "Lady Edward."
+
+The wives of the younger sons of a duke should be addressed as "Lady
+John E." or "Lady Charles E." by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or
+"Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The daughters of a duke should be addressed as "Lady Mary A." or "Lady
+Elizabeth B." by the upper classes, and as "Lady Mary" and "Lady
+Elizabeth" by those intimate with them, and as "My Lady" or "Your
+Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The eldest son of a marquess should be addressed as "Lord A." by the
+upper classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+The wife of the eldest son of a marquis should be addressed as "Lady A."
+by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other
+classes.
+
+The younger sons of a marquis should be addressed as "Lord Henry B."
+and "Lord Frederick B." by the upper classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your
+Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+The wives of the younger sons of a marquis should be addressed as "Lady
+Henry B." and "Lady Frederick B." by the upper classes, and as "My Lady"
+or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The daughters of a marquis should be addressed as "Lady Florence B." and
+"Lady Sarah B." by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your
+Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The eldest son of an earl should be addressed as "Lord C." by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship" by all other classes.
+
+The wife of the eldest son of an earl should be addressed as "Lady C."
+by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other
+classes.
+
+The daughters of an earl should be addressed as "Lady Blanche" and "Lady
+Evelyn" by the upper classes, and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all
+other classes.
+
+The younger sons of earls, and both eldest and younger sons of viscounts
+and barons, only bear the courtesy title of honourable. The daughters of
+viscounts and barons also bear the courtesy title of honourable. This
+title should never be used colloquially, "The Hon. Cecil Blank," "The
+Hon. Mrs. Cecil Blank," and "The Hon. Mary Blank," should be styled
+"Mr., Mrs., and Miss Mary Blank."
+
+Baronets should be addressed by their full title and surname, as Sir
+John Blank, by the upper classes, and by their titles and christian
+names only by all other classes.
+
+Baronets' wives should be addressed as "Lady B." or "Lady C.," according
+to the surnames of their husbands: thus, "Sir John Blank's" wife should
+be addressed as "Lady Blank" by the upper classes, not as "Lady John
+Blank"--to do so would be to give her the rank of the wife of the
+younger son of a duke or marquis instead of that of a baronet's wife
+only--and as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+The wives of knights should be addressed as "Lady B." or "Lady C.,"
+according to the surnames of their husbands: thus, "Sir John Blank's"
+wife should be addressed as "Lady Blank" by the upper classes, and as
+"My Lady" or "Your Ladyship" by all other classes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In addressing Foreigners of Rank colloquially=, the received rule is to
+address them by their individual titles and surnames.
+
+A prince or princess should be addressed by their full title: thus,
+"Prince Munich," or "Princess Munich," by the upper classes. Persons
+intimate with them usually address them as "Prince" or "Princess," as
+the case may be.
+
+In the case of a prince being a younger son, and not the reigning head
+of the house, his christian name is generally used after his title when
+addressing him: thus, "Prince Louis," in lieu of "Prince" only. The same
+remark applies to the unmarried daughters of princes. They also should
+be addressed by their christian name, in addition to their title of
+"Princess," by the aristocracy and gentry, and as "Your Serene" or "Your
+Imperial Highness," according to their birth and title, by all other
+classes.
+
+A French duke should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Rouen," by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Duc" by all other classes.
+
+A French duchess should be addressed by her surname, with the addition
+of madame: thus, "Madame de Rouen" by the upper classes, and as "Madame
+la Duchesse" by all other classes.
+
+A marquis should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Harfleur" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Marquis" by all other classes.
+
+A marquise should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame: thus, "Madame la Harfleur" by the upper classes, and as "Madame
+la Marquise" by all other classes.
+
+A comte should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Montpellier" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Comte" by all other classes.
+
+A comtesse should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame: thus, "Madame de Montpellier" by the upper classes, and as
+"Madame la Comtesse" by all other classes.
+
+A vicomte should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur de Toulouse" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Vicomte" by all other classes.
+
+A vicomtesse should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame; thus, "Madame de Toulouse" by the upper classes, and as "Madame
+la Vicomtesse" by all other classes.
+
+A baron should be addressed by his surname, with the addition of
+monsieur: thus, "Monsieur d'Avignon" by the upper classes, and as
+"Monsieur le Baron" by all other classes.
+
+A baronne should be addressed by her surname, with the addition of
+madame: thus, "Madame d'Avignon" by the upper classes, and as "Madame la
+Baronne" by all other classes.
+
+A young unmarried lady should be addressed as "Mademoiselle d'Avignon"
+by the upper classes, and as "Mademoiselle" by all other classes.
+
+In German titles the distinction of "Von" before the surname is seldom
+used colloquially, the title and surname being used without the prefix
+of "Von." Thus, "Count von Ausberg" should be addressed as "Count
+Ausberg" in conversation, and not as "Monsieur le Comte."
+
+Foreign ladies of rank should be addressed by their title and surname,
+and not by their title only, and the prefix "Von" should be omitted; but
+in the case of a French or Italian title the "de" or "de la" before the
+surname should on no account be omitted.
+
+When Englishmen are extremely intimate with foreigners of rank they
+would, in conversation, probably address them by their surnames; but
+only thorough intimacy and friendship warrants this familiarity.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards addressing the Clergy=, an archbishop should be addressed
+colloquially as "Archbishop" by the upper classes, and as "Your Grace"
+by the clergy and all other classes.
+
+A bishop should be addressed colloquially as "Bishop" by the upper
+classes, and as "My Lord" by the clergy and all other classes.
+
+A dean should be styled "Dean Blank" or "Dean," by the upper classes,
+and as "Mr. Dean" by the clergy.
+
+An archdeacon should be addressed as "Archdeacon Blank," and a canon as
+"Canon Blank."
+
+The wives of archbishops, bishops, and deans should be respectively
+addressed as "Mrs. A.," "Mrs. B.," or "Mrs. C." They take no title from
+the spiritual rank of their husbands.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Officers in the Army= should be respectively addressed as "General A.,"
+"Colonel B.," "Major C.," or "Captain D.," and not as "General,"
+"Colonel," or "Major," except by their very intimate friends.
+
+The wives of officers should be addressed as "Mrs. A.," "Mrs. B.," "Mrs.
+C.," or "Mrs. D." They should never be addressed as "Mrs. General A.,"
+"Mrs. Colonel B.," "Mrs. Major C.," or "Mrs. Captain D."
+
+A lady should not address her husband colloquially by his surname only,
+as "Jones," "Brown," or by whatever his surname might be, or speak of
+him without the prefix of "Mr."
+
+The usual rule is for a wife to speak of her husband as "Mr. Brown," or
+"My husband," except to intimate friends, when the christian name only
+is frequently used, and to address him by his christian name only.
+
+A wife should not address her husband by the initial letter of his
+surname, as "Mr. B." or "Mr. P."; neither should a husband address his
+wife by the initial letter of his surname.
+
+When intimate friends address each other by the initial letter of their
+names it is by way of pleasantry only, and such cases, of course, do not
+come within the rules of etiquette.
+
+Peeresses frequently address their husbands, and speak of them, by the
+name attached to their title, in place of using their christian or
+family name. Thus, the "Earl of Blankshire" would be styled "Blankshire"
+by his wife, without the prefix of "Lord," and his usual signature would
+be "Blankshire," without the addition of any christian name.
+
+Baronets' wives should not address their husbands by their surnames, but
+by their christian names, and should speak of them as "Sir George" or
+"Sir John."
+
+The wives of knights also should not address their husbands by their
+surnames, but by their christian names, and should speak of them as "Sir
+George" or "Sir John."
+
+The Lord Mayor should be addressed as "Lord Mayor," colloquially, and
+the Lady Mayoress as "Lady Mayoress," unless the Lord Mayor during
+office is created a baronet or receives the honour of knighthood, when
+he should be addressed as "Sir John" or "Sir Henry," and his wife as
+"Lady A."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+POINTS OF ETIQUETTE AS REGARDS ROYAL PERSONAGES
+
+
+General society is now very frequently brought into contact with
+royalty--members of the Royal Family of England and members of various
+royal families of Europe.
+
+With His Majesty this association is of frequent occurrence as regards
+the general public, and persons possessing special interest are
+constantly brought into communication with him.
+
+Strict Court etiquette is greatly in abeyance, and laid aside by His
+Majesty when paying visits to personal friends, or when receiving visits
+from the same.
+
+The geniality of the English princes and princesses is everywhere
+acknowledged, and the restrictions of Court etiquette are frequently
+relaxed by their desire when visiting at the houses of the nobility and
+gentry.
+
+The etiquette that reigns in foreign Courts--Austria, Russia, Greece,
+etc.--is seldom waived, and is adhered to with much punctilio. So much
+so is this the case with certain foreign princes who visit our shores,
+that the observances they claim as due to their exalted position are
+often felt to be a restraint upon the hosts whom they honour with their
+company, in town or country, at dinner, ball, or country-house party.
+
+On the other hand, many royal personages who occasionally visit England
+are unbending and unceremonious towards society in general.
+
+When royal personages visit London for a few weeks, whether located at
+palace, embassy, or hotel, it is etiquette for any person who is
+personally acquainted with or connected in any way with their Court or
+cabinet, or who has been presented at their Court, to leave cards on
+them and write their names in their visiting books. Persons still higher
+in the social scale, give receptions in their honour, and invite them to
+stay at their princely mansions.
+
+When such visits are paid, the principal neighbours are usually invited
+to meet the royal guests at dinner, ball, or reception, and on the
+invitation card is written, "To meet H.R.H. the Crown Prince of ----,"
+or "Her Serene Highness the Grand Duchess of ----," etc.; but a hostess
+exercises her own discretion respecting the invitations she issues.
+
+If a ball is in contemplation the county at large is invited to the
+mansion, but if dinner invitations only are issued, then the circle is
+necessarily restricted to a favoured few.
+
+The neighbours who are not invited to a house where a royal guest is
+staying should avoid calling on the hostess until the departure of the
+royal visitors, even if calls are due.
+
+The principal people of a county who happen to be present at an
+entertainment, either dinner or dance, are usually presented to the
+royal guests by the host or hostess, permission to do so having been
+first solicited.
+
+When the person to be presented is a person of rank or distinction, it
+would only be necessary to say, "May I present Lord A., or General B.,
+to you, Sir?" but if the person to be presented has no particular claim
+to the honour beyond being popular in the county, the request should be
+prefaced with a few words of explanation respecting the person to be
+presented.
+
+When the name or fame of those presented has reached the ears of the
+royal guests, they usually shake hands on the presentation being made,
+and enter into conversation with them; otherwise they merely bow, and
+make one or two passing remarks.
+
+A house-party is generally composed of those with whom a royal guest is
+more or less acquainted. When the party includes any one who is a
+stranger to the royal guests, he or she should be presented on the first
+opportunity.
+
+The members of the Royal Family have each, more or less, their
+particular set, as have also the foreign princes who periodically visit
+this country, and therefore house-parties are usually made up of those
+moving in the set of the expected prince.
+
+For the proper mode of addressing royal personages, see Chapter VI.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards royal invitations=, all invitations from the Sovereign are
+commands, and must be answered and obeyed as such, and the word
+"command" must be made use of in answering such invitations. If any
+reason exists for not obeying His Majesty's commands it should be
+stated.
+
+Invitations from members of the Royal Family are treated by courtesy as
+commands, but in replying to such invitations the word "command" should
+not be used. The answers to such invitations should be addressed to the
+Comptroller of the Household, by whom they are usually issued.
+
+Answers to royal invitations should be written in the third person, and
+reasons given for non-acceptance.
+
+A previous engagement cannot be pleaded as an excuse for refusing a
+royal invitation; only personal indisposition or serious illness, or
+death of near relatives, would be adequate reasons for not accepting a
+royal invitation.
+
+When a royal invitation is verbally given, the answer should be verbal
+also.
+
+At all entertainments at which royal guests are present they should be
+received by the host and hostess in the entrance-hall. In the case of
+serene highnesses they should be received by the host and conducted by
+him to the hostess; this rule equally applies to the reception of
+eastern princes.
+
+The etiquette to be observed on the departure of royal personages is
+identical with that observed on their arrival.
+
+With regard to inviting members of the Royal Family to assist at the
+opening of any public undertaking, the request should be made through
+the Comptroller of the Household of the prince who is to be invited, or
+through his secretary, and the same rule equally applies to both prince
+and princess.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Indian Princes.=--The exact status of Indian princes has never been
+actually laid down, but all who are "Highnesses" are given precedence at
+the English Court and in society after the Royal Family and foreign
+princes. In the procession at Court entertainments they go in front of
+ambassadors.
+
+No Indian prince is considered to be of blood royal, and they do not
+stand in the line at levees and Courts, but all have the private
+_Entree_.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+POINTS OF ETIQUETTE WHEN TRAVELLING ABROAD, AND PRESENTATIONS AT FOREIGN
+COURTS
+
+
+The acquaintanceship of foreign residents is of considerable service to
+English people purposing to winter abroad, or to remain for any length
+of time in a continental city, as by its means they obtain an entrance
+into foreign society. An introduction to the English Ambassador or
+Minister at a foreign Court is of still greater service in this matter.
+
+People of recognised position in society have the privilege of leaving
+cards at the English Embassy at any foreign city in which they intend
+making a temporary stay.
+
+So thoroughly is the position of English travellers known to the English
+Ministry at a foreign Court, that should a person, who is not received
+in English society, leave cards at the English Embassy, they would be at
+once returned as an intimation that the acquaintance is declined.
+
+It is erroneous to suppose that by leaving cards upon foreigners of
+distinction, an acquaintanceship can be commenced, for unless
+introductions have been formally made, leaving cards is a useless
+proceeding.
+
+At far-away spots little frequented by the general run of travellers,
+and where there are but few, if any, resident English, travellers
+requiring advice or assistance from the English consul, can, without an
+introduction, call upon him, nationality being the ground upon which to
+do this, and if of equal social standing, they would be received with
+social consideration; if otherwise, all assistance would be given to
+them from an official point of view. Many people when travelling abroad
+make pleasant acquaintances even without the help of introductions, the
+occasion of a meeting being as it were a semi-introduction in itself.
+
+Such casual acquaintanceships are, however, attended with certain risks,
+especially to persons who have been absent from England some little
+time, or who when in England have entered comparatively but little in
+society, and who are thus apt to drift unawares into close friendships
+with people perhaps well bred and agreeable, although tabooed at home
+for some good and sufficient reason. _Contretemps_ such as these are
+painful to kind-hearted people when subsequently compelled to avoid and
+to relinquish the acquaintance of those with whom they have become
+pleasantly intimate. An introduction to an English resident in either
+town or city obviates any unpleasantness of this nature, as one so
+situated is generally kept _au courant_ with all that takes place in
+society at home.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When persons desire to enter into society abroad= they endeavour to
+obtain letters of introduction from friends and acquaintances to
+residents in the cities they purpose visiting.
+
+Unless English travellers have been duly presented at the Court of St.
+James's, they cannot obtain presentations at foreign Courts through the
+English Embassies.
+
+When a lady desires a presentation at a foreign Court, she should write
+to the English Ambassadress and request the honour of a presentation,
+and should state the date of her presentation and the name of the lady
+by whom she was presented. After her statement has been duly verified
+the request is granted. In a like manner when a gentleman desires a
+presentation at a foreign Court, he should write to the Ambassador and
+request the honour of a presentation, and should state the date of the
+Levee at which he was presented, and the name of the person by whom the
+presentation was made.
+
+Presentations at foreign Courts take place in the evening, and the
+persons to be presented, and those who attend, assemble previous to the
+entrance of the royal personages: the rule is for the grand _maitresse_
+to present each lady in turn to her royal mistress, who makes the tour
+of the apartment for this purpose, and addresses some courteous
+observation to each.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+THE RECEIVED MODE OF PRONOUNCING CERTAIN SURNAMES
+
+
+There are, perhaps, two reasons why various surnames are so frequently
+mispronounced, the one being unfamiliarity with the freak of fashion
+which governs the pronunciation of certain well-known names, the other
+ignorance, or want of education.
+
+When sensitive persons hear a name pronounced differently from the way
+in which they have themselves but just pronounced it, and in a tone and
+manner strongly suggestive of correction, it is wounding to their _amour
+propre_.
+
+As a rule, when persons are in doubt as to the correct pronunciation of
+any particular name, it would be best to avoid mentioning it, if
+possible, until their doubts are set at rest by some one better informed
+than themselves.
+
+Names that have a fashionable or peculiar pronunciation, or are
+pronounced otherwise than as they are spelt, are but few, and names
+which it is possible wrongly to accent are also not very numerous; but
+it is surprising how often these names occur in the course of
+conversation.
+
+The names of distinguished artists that are open to mispronunciation
+occur far oftener in conversation than do the general run of uncommon
+surnames.
+
+There are many celebrated hunts and hunting quarters of which the names
+are open to considerable mispronunciation.
+
+With regard to placing the accent on the wrong syllable in the
+pronunciation of names, it requires but little thought to avoid making
+this mistake, a popular error being that of placing the accent upon the
+last syllable of a name; whereas, in a name of two syllables, the accent
+should invariably be placed upon the first, and the second syllable
+should be as it were slightly abbreviated or slightly altered.
+
+In names of three syllables the error usually consists in placing the
+accent upon the last syllable, whereas the accent should be placed upon
+the second syllable. There are occasional exceptions to this rule, and
+the few names given in this chapter, both as regards their pronunciation
+and accentuation, will serve as a useful guide in the pronunciation of
+uncommon names.
+
+  |SPELT.               |PRONOUNCED.       |REMARKS.                    |
+  |---------------------|------------------|----------------------------|
+  |Abergavenny.         |Abergen'ny.       |_Av_ not sounded.           |
+  |Arbuthnot.           |Arbuth'not.       |                            |
+  |Arundel.             |Arrandel.         |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Beaconsfield.        |Beckonsfield.     |                            |
+  |Beauchamp.           |Bea'cham.         |                            |
+  |Beauclerk or }       |Bo'clair.         |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Beauclerc.   }       |                  |                            |
+  |Belvoir.             |Be'ver.           |                            |
+  |Berkely.             |Bark'ley.         |                            |
+  |Bethune.             |Bee'ton.          |                            |
+  |Bicester.            |Bis'ter.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Blount.              |Blunt.            |                            |
+  |Blyth.               |Bly.              |_Th_ not sounded.           |
+  |Bourke.              |Burk.             |                            |
+  |Bourne.              |Burn.             |                            |
+  |Bowles.              |Boles.            |                            |
+  |Breadalbane.         |Breaddal'bane.    |Accent on second syllable.  |
+  |Brougham.            |Broum.            |                            |
+  |Buchan.              |Buck'an.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Burdett.             |Burdett'.         |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Burnett.             |Burnett'.         |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Bury.                |Berry.            |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Calderon.            |Cal'dron not      |                            |
+  |                     |  Cauldron.       |                            |
+  |Charteris.           |Charters.         |                            |
+  |Cholmeley.           |Chum'ley.         |                            |
+  |Cholmondeley.        |   "              |                            |
+  |Cirencester.         |Cis'ester.        |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Clanricarde.         |Clanrecarde.      |Accent on second syllable.  |
+  |Cockburn.            |C[=o]burn.        |_Ck_ not sounded.           |
+  |Colquhoun.           |Kohoon'.          |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Conynham.            |Cunyingham.       |                            |
+  |Coutts.              |Koots.            |                            |
+  |Cowper.              |Cooper.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Dalziel.             |Dee'al.           |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Derby.               |Darby.            |                            |
+  |Des Vaux.            |Deveu.            |The _x_ not sounded.        |
+  |Devereux.            |Devereu.          |The _x_ not sounded.        |
+  |Dillwyn.             |Dil'lun.          |The _wy_ takes the sound    |
+  |                     |                  |  of _u_; the accent on     |
+  |                     |                  |  first syllable.           |
+  |Duchesne.            |Dukarn.           |                            |
+  |Du Plat.             |Du Plar.          |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Elgin.               |                  |The _g_ hard as in give.    |
+  |Eyre.                |Air.              |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Fildes.              |Filedes.          |Not Filldes.                |
+  |Fortescue.           |Fort'iskew.       |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Geoffrey.            |Jefrey.           |                            |
+  |Geoghegan.           |Gaygan.           |                            |
+  |Gifford.             |Jifford.          |The _g_ soft as in George.  |
+  |Gillett.             |                  |_G_ hard as in Gilbert.     |
+  |Gillott.             |                  |_G_ hard.                   |
+  |Glamis.              |Glarms.           |                            |
+  |Gorges.              |Gor'jes.          |First _g_ hard and second   |
+  |                     |                  |   _g_ soft.                |
+  |Gough.               |Goff.             |                            |
+  |Gower.               |Gor.              |But Gower as regards the    |
+  |                     |                  |  street of that name with  |
+  |                     |                  |  the general public.       |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Harcourt.            |Har'kut.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Heathcote.           |Heth'kut.         |                            |
+  |Hertford.            |Har'ford.         |                            |
+  |Home.                |Hume.             |                            |
+  |Hughes.              |Hews.             |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Jervis.              |Jarvis.           |                            |
+  |Johnstone.           |                  |The _t_ not sounded.        |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Kennaird.            |Kennaird'.        |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Kennard.             |Kennard'.         |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Ker.                 |Kar.              |                            |
+  |Knollys.             |Knowls.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Layard.              |Laird.            |                            |
+  |Leconfield.          |Lek'onfield.      |                            |
+  |Lefevre.             |Lefavre.          |                            |
+  |Leigh.               |Lee.              |                            |
+  |Lyvedon.             |Livden.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Macnamara.           |Macnemar'ar.      |Accent on third syllable.   |
+  |Mainwaring.          |Man'nering.       |                            |
+  |Marjoribanks.        |Marshbanks.       |                            |
+  |McIntosh.            |Makintosh.        |                            |
+  |McLeod.              |McCloud.          |                            |
+  |Menzies.             |Myng'es.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Meux.                |Mews.             |The _x_ sounded as _s_.     |
+  |Millais.             |Mil'lay.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Milnes.              |Mills.            |                            |
+  |Molyneux.            |                  |The _x_ sounded with slight |
+  |                     |                  |  accent on last syllable.  |
+  |Monck.               |Munk.             |                            |
+  |Monckton.            |Munk'ton.         |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Monson.              |Munson.           |                            |
+  |Montgomerie or}      |Mungum'ery.       |Accent on second syllable.  |
+  |Montgomery.   }      |                  |                            |
+  |Mowbray.             |Mobrey.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Nigel.               |Ni'jel.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Ouless.              |Ooless.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Parnell.             |Parnell'.         |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Pepys.               |Pep'is.           |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Pierrepont.          |Pierpont.         |                            |
+  |Ponsonby.            |Punsonby.         |                            |
+  |Pontefract.          |Pomfret.          |                            |
+  |Pugh.                |Pew.              |                            |
+  |Pytchley.            |P[=y]tch'ley.     |Not Pitchley.               |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Ruthven.             |Riv'en.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Sandys.              |Sands.            |                            |
+  |St. Clair.           |Sinclair.         |                            |
+  |St. Maur.            |See'mor, or       |                            |
+  |                     |S'nt Maur.        |                            |
+  |St. John.            |Sinjin.           |As regards christian and    |
+  |                     |                  |  surname, but as St. John  |
+  |                     |                  |  when applied to church    |
+  |                     |                  |  or locality.              |
+  |Seymour.             |Sey'mer.          |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Strachan.            |Strawn.           |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Tadema.              |Tad'ymar.         |Accent on first syllable.   |
+  |Tollemache.          |Tollmash.         |                            |
+  |Trafalgar.           |Trafalgar'.       |Accent on last syllable; as |
+  |                     |                  |  regards the peer of that  |
+  |                     |                  |  name, not otherwise.      |
+  |Tredegar.            |Trede'gar.        |Accent on second syllable.  |
+  |Tremayne.            |Tremayne'.        |Accent on last syllable.    |
+  |Tyrwhitt.            |Tirritt.          |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Vaughan.             |Vorn.             |                            |
+  |Vaux.                |                  |The _x_ sounded.            |
+  |Villbois.            |Vealbwor.         |                            |
+  |Villiers.            |Vil'lers.         |                            |
+  |                     |                  |                            |
+  |Waldegrave.          |Wal'grave.        |The _de_ not sounded.       |
+  |Wemyss.              |Weems.            |                            |
+  |Willoughby D'Eresby. |Willowby D'Ersby. |                            |
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+PRESENTATIONS AT COURTS AND ATTENDING COURTS
+
+
+Courts are now held in lieu of Drawing-rooms by Their Majesties the King
+and Queen at Buckingham Palace, and at which Presentations to Their
+Majesties are made.
+
+These Courts are held in the evenings at ten o'clock, but the hour at
+which the company should commence to arrive is intimated by the Lord
+Chamberlain in the notice issued of the Courts to be held.
+
+Two Courts are usually, but not invariably, held before Easter, and two
+more after Easter.
+
+Ladies who have been presented at Drawing-rooms and Courts, held during
+the last two reigns, do not require to be again presented to Their
+Majesties the King and Queen; thus, ladies who have already been
+presented at these Drawing-rooms, and who are desirous of being invited
+to one or other of these Courts, and who are also desirous of making
+presentations, should send in their names and the names of those to be
+presented by them to the Lord Chamberlain, St. James's Palace, S.W., on
+the 1st of January in each year, but not before that date.
+
+Ladies are also privileged to mention at the same time when it will be
+most convenient to them to pay their respects to Their Majesties. If it
+should not be convenient for a lady to attend or be presented at the
+particular Court to which she is invited, it will be open to her to make
+her excuses to the Lord Chamberlain in writing, when her name can, if
+desired, and if possible, be transferred to another list.
+
+A lady who makes a presentation to Their Majesties, must be personally
+acquainted with and responsible for the lady she presents. She must
+herself attend the Court, and cannot present more than one lady in
+addition to her daughter or daughter-in-law. The numbers received at
+each Court being necessarily limited, ladies can only receive occasional
+invitations. Therefore, those who cannot be included in the year's list
+of invitations will receive an intimation to this effect from the Lord
+Chamberlain in answer to their applications to attend.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Persons entitled to be presented at Their Majesties' Courts= are
+the wives and daughters of the members of the aristocracy, the wives and
+daughters of those holding high official appointments in the Government,
+the wives and daughters of Members of Parliament, the county gentry and
+town gentry, the wives and daughters of the members of the legal,
+military, naval, clerical, medical, and other professions, the wives and
+daughters of merchants, bankers, and members of the Stock Exchange, and
+persons engaged in commerce on a large scale.
+
+Although the word "gentry" is thus elastic, and although persons coming
+within the category might be fairly entitled to the privilege of
+attending Courts, yet it is well understood that birth, wealth,
+associations, and position give a _raison d'etre_ for such privilege;
+as, for instance, the wife and daughters of an officer in the navy or a
+line regiment, whose means are slender, and whose position is obscure,
+would not be justified for these reasons in attending a Court, although
+the officer himself might attend a levee if desirous of doing so; and
+this remark equally applies to the wives and daughters of clergymen,
+barristers, and others similarly situated.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Presentations to Their Majesties= are made officially by the various
+foreign ambassadresses, by the wives of the members of the Cabinet, and
+by the wives of other official personages in various departments of the
+State, either civil, military, naval, or clerical.
+
+Presentations at each of Their Majesties' Courts are now limited by
+royal command.
+
+Presentations to Their Majesties should be made either by a relative or
+a friend of the lady presented who has herself been previously
+presented.
+
+A lady has the privilege of presenting one lady only at a Court in
+addition to her daughter or daughter-in-law.
+
+This restriction does not apply to ladies who, from official position or
+other circumstances, are specially privileged to make presentations to
+Their Majesties.
+
+When a presentation is not made officially or by a near relative it is
+considered a favour on the part of the person making the presentation
+towards the person presented.
+
+The responsibility of a presentation rests upon the person who makes it,
+both as to the social and moral fitness of the person presented;
+therefore, to solicit the favour of a presentation from a friend is to
+incur a considerable obligation, and it is a favour ladies have no
+hesitation in refusing unless good reasons exist for granting it.
+
+When presentations are made through official channels the responsibility
+rests upon the "office" rather than upon the person making the
+presentation; hence presentations so made have little personal
+significance to the person making them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady having been presented on her Marriage= has the privilege of
+attending, by invitation, any subsequent Court, but ladies who have no
+official position will only be allowed to attend a Court by summons
+every third year. On the accession of her husband to any title, she
+would again have to be presented, and should she marry a second time
+another presentation would be necessary to entitle her to attend one of
+Their Majesties' Courts.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is the Privilege of the Married Lady to make Presentations=, but
+should any person be presented whose antecedents or present position
+renders her socially unqualified to be presented, the Lord Chamberlain,
+on becoming aware of the fact, would at once cancel the presentation,
+and officially announce it in the _Gazette_, and the person making such
+presentation would be expected to tender an apology for so doing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=An Unmarried Lady does not possess the Privilege= of making a
+presentation, however high her rank may be. She is not permitted to
+attend any subsequent Courts after first presentation until three years
+have elapsed; save under exceptional circumstances.
+
+Four Courts are held during each year at Buckingham Palace, two before
+and two after Easter, but due intimation is given previous to each Court
+being held by the Lord Chamberlain through the medium of the official
+_Gazette_, from whence it is copied into the newspapers.
+
+The wives of members of the Cabinet and of the ambassadors or ministers
+at the Court of St. James's usually attend at each Court, and have the
+privilege of doing so by reason of the official presentations made by
+them at each Court.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is compulsory for a Lady= making a presentation to be herself
+present at the Court at which the presentation is to be made, though it
+is not necessary for her to accompany the person whom she presents, but
+simply to attend the same Court.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Lady intends making a Presentation= she should, on or after the
+1st of January write to the Lord Chamberlain and inform him of a wish
+to attend a Court, and forward the name of the lady to be presented by
+her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ladies are not expected= to attend Court more than once in every three
+years, unless under exceptional circumstances.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady attending a Court= may present one lady in addition to her
+daughter or daughter-in-law.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady presented for the First Time= can only present her daughter or
+daughter-in-law at the Court at which she is presented.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=No Applications can be received= from ladies who wish to be presented.
+Their names must be forwarded by the ladies who wish to make the
+presentations.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Summonses are issued= about three weeks before the date of each Court.
+
+Ladies may be accompanied to Court by their husbands if the latter have
+been presented, but gentlemen do not pass before the King and Queen.
+Ladies are requested to forward the names of their husbands at the same
+time as their own, in order that they may be submitted together, as once
+the summons has been issued the amending of a summons card in order to
+include a lady's husband can only be permitted under the most
+exceptional circumstances.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Those who have the Privilege of the Entree= enter at the gate of the
+Palace situated outside Buckingham Gate. Those who possess this
+privilege are the diplomatic circle, the Cabinet ministers and their
+wives, and the members of the Household. The rooms, two in number, next
+to the Presence Chamber, are appropriated to them. All who have the
+privilege of the _entree_ are received by Their Majesties before the
+general circle, and according to their individual precedency, and they
+have also the privilege of making the first presentations.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Lady arrives at the Palace= she should leave her wraps in the
+cloak-room with one of the maids in attendance. After crossing the Great
+Hall, she then makes her way up the Grand Staircase to the Corridor,
+where she shows her invitation-card to the page-in-waiting, and then
+passes on to one of the saloons.
+
+When a lady arrives early she gains admission to the saloon next to
+those reserved for the _entree_. When she arrives late she has to take
+her place in a further room of the suite according to the number of
+persons present.
+
+The gentlemen-at-arms stationed at the door of each room close the gilt
+barriers when they consider the saloons are full. Chairs and benches are
+placed in the corridor and in these saloons for the accommodation of
+ladies thus waiting their turn to enter the Throne-room or Presence
+Chamber.
+
+As the ladies quit each room for the Presence Chamber, others take their
+places, and the barriers are again closed, and this is continued until
+every one has been received.
+
+A lady has to pass through the two _entree_ saloons before reaching the
+Picture Gallery.
+
+At the door of the Picture Gallery a lady's train, which she has
+hitherto carried on her arm, is let down by two officials in attendance,
+and spread out by them with their wands; she should cross the gallery
+with her train down to the Presence Chamber, at the door of which she
+should give the card of invitation she has brought with her to the
+official stationed there to receive it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady on being presented=, curtsys to the King and curtsys to the
+Queen. The King bows in return, as does also the Queen. A lady presented
+does not kiss the Queen's hand, as she formerly did. The King does not
+shake hands with any present, however high their rank may be, neither
+does the Queen shake hands with any present.
+
+A lady on being presented does not now curtsy to any member of the
+Royal Family when she has passed Their Majesties, and leaves the
+Presence Chamber, stepping backwards, facing the royal party, until
+making her exit from the apartment, when an official places her train on
+her arm at the threshold of the doorway.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Lady wishes to attend a Court=, after having been duly
+presented, it is necessary to inform the Lord Chamberlain of her wish to
+attend. Summonses are issued about three weeks before the date of each
+Court.
+
+Having received a summons to attend a Court she should take the summons
+card with her, which she should show to the page-in-waiting in the
+corridor, and eventually hand it to the official stationed at the door
+of the Presence Chamber, by whom it is passed on to the Lord
+Chamberlain, who announces the name to Their Majesties.
+
+A lady attending a Court curtsys to the King; she also curtsys to the
+Queen, but does not curtsy to any other member of the Royal Family
+present.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In the General Circle there is no Precedency= as to the order in which
+ladies attending a Court enter the Presence Chamber. The earliest
+arrivals are the first to appear before Their Majesties, without
+reference to rank or position; and the same rule applies to ladies who
+are presented, or to ladies who make presentations.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Married Lady presented at a Court= can, at the same Court, present
+her daughter or daughter-in-law; but in this case the one presented by
+her should enter the Presence Chamber after her, and not before her.
+
+Although, according to present regulations, the unmarried daughters of
+members of the nobility and gentry who have already been presented are
+only expected to attend a Court once in every three years, it will not
+prevent their being invited to Court functions, to the State balls,
+concerts, and garden parties.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ladies who have been presented at a Court= have the privilege of
+writing their names in Their Majesties' visiting book at Buckingham
+Palace once during the season. The hours of calling for this purpose are
+generally from three to five o'clock in the afternoon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is Imperative for Ladies to wear Full Court Dress= when attending or
+being presented at a Court, viz. low bodice, short sleeves, and train to
+dress not less than three yards in length from the shoulders.
+
+Whether the train is cut round or square is a matter of inclination or
+fashion. The width at the end should be 54 inches.
+
+It is also imperative that a presentation-dress should be white, if the
+person presented be an unmarried lady; and it is also the fashion for
+married ladies to wear white on their presentation, unless their age
+renders their doing so unsuitable.
+
+The white dresses worn by either _debutantes_ or married ladies may be
+trimmed with either coloured or white flowers, according to individual
+taste.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=High Court Dress.=--The Queen has been pleased to permit that a high
+Court dress of silk, satin, or velvet, may be worn at Their Majesties'
+Courts, and on other State occasions, by ladies, to whom, from illness,
+infirmity, or advancing age, the present low Court dress is
+inappropriate, viz.: Bodices in front, cut square, or heart-shaped,
+which may be filled in with white only, either transparent or lined; at
+the back, high, or cut down three-quarters height. Sleeves to elbow,
+either thick or transparent.
+
+Trains, gloves, and feathers as usual.
+
+It is necessary for ladies who wish to appear in "High Court Dress" to
+obtain Royal permission, through the Lord Chamberlain.
+
+This regulation does not apply to ladies who have already received
+permission to wear high dress.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=White gloves only should be worn=, excepting in case of mourning, when
+black or grey gloves are admissible.
+
+As a lady on presentation does not now kiss the Queen's hand as formerly
+she did, she is not required to remove the right-hand glove before
+entering the Presence Chamber. This order, therefore, is no longer in
+force, and a lady wearing elbow gloves and bracelets will find it a
+great convenience not to be obliged to take off her glove.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is compulsory for both Married and Unmarried Ladies to Wear
+Plumes.=--The married lady's Court plume consists of three white
+feathers.
+
+An unmarried lady's of two white feathers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The three white feathers= should be mounted as a Prince of Wales'
+plume, and worn towards the left-hand side of the head.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Coloured feathers= may not be worn.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In deep mourning= white feathers must be worn, black feathers are
+inadmissible.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=White veils or lace lappets= must be worn with the feathers. The veils
+should not be longer than 45 inches.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Bouquets are not included= in the dress regulations issued by the Lord
+Chamberlain, although they are invariably carried by both married and
+unmarried ladies. It is thus optional to carry a bouquet or not, and
+some elderly ladies carry much smaller bouquets than do younger ladies.
+
+A fan and a lace pocket-handkerchief are also carried by a lady on
+presentation or on attending a Court, but these two items are also
+altogether optional.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+PRESENTATIONS AT LEVEES AND ATTENDING LEVEES
+
+
+=Levees are held by the King= in person. Those who have been presented
+at levees held by His late Majesty, King Edward, do not require to be
+again presented to His Majesty King George.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Four or more Levees are usually held every year= by the King at St.
+James's Palace.
+
+Gentlemen are officially presented by the heads of any department or
+profession to which they individually belong, whether civil or military,
+naval or clerical; it is more usual for a gentleman to be presented by
+the head of his department, or by the colonel of his regiment, than by
+his nearest relative.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Presentations are also made by Relatives= and friends of those
+presented; but these are greatly in the minority at all levees.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gentlemen must be again presented= at every step in their career,
+whether civil, military, naval, or clerical--on civil appointments, on
+gaining steps of naval, military, legal, or clerical rank, and on
+accession to title, whether inherited or conferred.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Those entitled to be presented at His Majesty's Levees= are the members
+of the aristocracy and gentry, the members of the diplomatic corps, the
+Cabinet, and all leading Government officials, Members of Parliament,
+leading members of the legal profession, the naval and military
+professions, the leading members of the clerical profession, the leading
+members of the medical and artistic professions, the leading bankers,
+merchants, and members of the Stock Exchange, and persons engaged in
+commerce on a large scale. An exception to the rule as regards retail
+trade is made in favour of any person receiving Knighthood, or when
+holding the office of Mayor, or being made a Justice of the Peace, or on
+receiving a Commission in the Territorial forces.
+
+The dates on which levees are to be held are duly announced in the
+_Gazette_, and in the daily newspapers.
+
+At all future levees cards of admission will be required, as the numbers
+at each of these ceremonies must be limited.
+
+The Lord Chamberlain has issued the following revised list of rules,
+which are to be observed at attendances and presentations in future--
+
+All officers, whether on the active or retired lists, of the Royal Navy
+and the Royal Marines, of whatever rank, should communicate with and
+obtain their cards from the private secretary to the First Lord of the
+Admiralty. All civil officers of the Admiralty should follow the same
+rule.
+
+All officers, whether on the active or retired lists, of the Army,
+Regulars or Territorials, of whatever rank, except those on the Indian
+and Colonial Establishments, should communicate with and obtain their
+cards from the Adjutant-General at the War Office, stating clearly at
+which levee they desire to be present, and whether they wish to attend
+or to be presented; if the latter, stating by whom and on what occasion.
+Deputy-lieutenants of counties should also communicate and obtain their
+cards from the War Office.
+
+Officers of the Household Cavalry and Foot Guards on the active list
+should make application to the Lord Chamberlain at St. James's Palace
+for cards of admission and presentation. All retired Officers of the
+Household Cavalry and Brigade of Guards should apply to the War Office.
+
+All officers of the Indian Civil Service and of the Indian Army, of
+whatever rank, whether on the active or retired lists, should
+communicate with, and obtain their cards from the private secretary to
+the Secretary of State at the India Office, Whitehall.
+
+All officers of the Colonial service and Colonial forces, of whatever
+rank, whether on the active or retired lists, should communicate with
+and obtain their cards from the Colonial Office, Whitehall.
+
+Similarly, all gentlemen connected with the Foreign Office, the Home
+Office, officials connected with the Houses of Parliament, or any
+Government department, should communicate with and obtain their cards
+for attendance or presentation at levees from the department under which
+they serve.
+
+Judges, law officers, King's Counsel, and all legal officials holding
+appointments under the Crown are requested to make their applications
+through the secretary to the Lord Chancellor.
+
+Peers, bishops, Lords-Lieutenants of Counties, Members of Parliament,
+clergy of all denominations, and all gentlemen, other than the
+above-mentioned, should communicate with the Lord Chamberlain at St.
+James's Palace, when they will each be furnished with a card of
+admission for use at the levee.
+
+The names both for attendance and presentation must be received at the
+various offices above indicated not later than eight days prior to the
+date of each levee, but in the case of officers, who make application to
+the War Office, fourteen days before the date of each levee.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Gentleman makes a Presentation= it is compulsory for him to
+attend the same levee as the person whom he presents, and the card of
+presentation is sent to him to be forwarded to the person to be
+presented.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Gentleman on being presented= should bow to the King, and His Majesty
+will bow to him in return. Gentlemen attending a levee should also bow
+to His Majesty.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gentlemen who have been presented= at a levee have the privilege of
+writing their names in His Majesty's visiting book at Buckingham Palace
+once during the season. The hours of calling for this purpose are
+generally from three to five o'clock in the afternoon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Dress to be worn at Courts, State Functions and Levees.=--Full
+dress uniform is invariably worn by all gentlemen entitled to wear it.
+All officers of Scottish kilted corps should wear the kilt irrespective
+of their being mounted officers or not. Gentlemen who do not wear
+uniform may wear either velvet Court dress, new style; velvet Court
+dress, old style; cloth Court dress.
+
+The new style velvet Court dress is of black silk velvet. The body of
+the coat lined with white silk and the skirt with black silk. Steel
+buttons. Waistcoat of white satin or black silk velvet. Breeches of
+black silk velvet, black silk hose, patent leather shoes, steel buckled;
+white bow necktie, white gloves, sword, black beaver or silk cocked hat.
+The velvet Court dress, old style, is very similar to the foregoing,
+with the addition of a black silk wig-bag at the back of the neck, and
+lace frills and ruffles. The cloth Court dress consists of a coat of
+dark mulberry, claret, or green cloth with black silk linings, gold
+embroidery on collar, cuffs, and pocket flaps, gilt buttons with
+Imperial Crown; waistcoat of white corded silk or white Marcella;
+breeches of cloth, colour of coat; black silk hose, patent leather
+shoes, sword, white bow necktie, white gloves, black beaver or silk
+cocked hat.
+
+Levee dress is identical with the foregoing except that trousers--with a
+row of narrow gold lace down the side seams--are worn, and not
+breeches. Military patent leather boots.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Archbishops and Bishops= at Levees and Courts wear Convocation robes,
+viz. scarlet cloth chimere, without hood; purple cassock and sash, lawn
+rochet with sleeves, white cambric bands, black silk scarf, black
+breeches, silver knee buckles, black silk stockings, shoes with silver
+buckles; purple or black velvet square soft cap to be carried. At
+Evening State Functions and Full Dress Dinners they wear a purple cloth
+Court coat over a short cassock or apron, sash of purple silk, black
+breeches, black silk stockings, shoes with silver buckles; black corded
+silk three-cornered hat to be carried.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Deans and Archdeacons= at Evening State Functions wear the same dress
+as bishops except that the coat and short cassock are black. Doctors of
+Divinity at Levees and Courts wear the scarlet cloth robe of their
+University, without hood.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Clergy if not Doctors of Divinity= at Levees and Courts wear full
+canonicals, that is, a black silk Geneva gown, double-breasted; black
+silk long cassock and sash, scarf and white lawn bands, black breeches,
+silver knee buckles, black silk stockings, shoes with silver buckles,
+black corded silk three-cornered hat. At Full Dress Dinners and Evening
+State Parties when canonicals are not worn, they wear a black cloth
+Court coat, cassock, waistcoat of black corded silk, black breeches,
+black silk stockings, shoes, silver buckles; black corded silk
+three-cornered hat to be carried. White gloves are worn at all Court
+functions. The academical habit should not be worn at Court except when
+addresses are presented from the Universities.
+
+When the Court is in mourning, gentlemen attending a levee are expected
+to wear a band of black crape on the left arm above the elbow.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+BALLS AND STATE BALLS
+
+
+=Balls= are given in town and country by society at large, and these
+invitation balls include Hunt Balls, Military and Naval Balls, Yeomanry
+and Territorial Balls, Bachelors' Balls, etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Public Balls= are those balls for which tickets of admission can be
+purchased, although for many of these balls it is necessary to obtain
+vouchers from the committees or patronesses, when held in town or at
+watering-places.
+
+Public balls include County Balls, Charity Balls, and Subscription
+Balls, etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In Town, Ball-giving= is in a way a science, and an amusement upon
+which large sums of money are frequently expended.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Crowded Ball= is not always pronounced a good ball by the guests,
+often the contrary, but then, again, what is termed a thin ball is open
+to the accusation of not going off well, and falling rather flat; of not
+being kept up with spirit, and of being considered a stupid ball, and so
+on.
+
+To hit upon a happy medium with regard to the number of guests is an
+achievement in ball-giving which is only arrived at by a careful study
+of the map of the county, and a judicious selection of night. This
+selection is of paramount importance to the success of a ball, as when a
+smarter ball is given at a smarter house on the particular evening
+chosen by the giver of a less brilliant ball, the grander ball
+extinguishes the lesser ball, through the most fashionable people merely
+looking in at the one, and remaining the rest of the evening at the
+other. This putting out as it were of the lesser light, occurs very
+frequently during the London season to ball-givers moving in the same
+sets. The guests who have been expected to add lustre to the lesser
+balls appear but for a few minutes, and usually arrive rather early,
+uncomplimentarily early, at perhaps a little before eleven, and remain
+hardly half an hour in the rooms, making their way to another ball of
+the same calibre, and remaining there perhaps another twenty minutes,
+before arriving at the goal, viz. _the_ ball of the evening. Both ladies
+and gentlemen follow this practice, thus, at a little after twelve, an
+average ball-giver finds her rooms deserted by all but those who have
+nowhere else to go. Although the flitting of the guests thus early is a
+disappointment to the hostess, and although it does not prevent the
+fleeting ball-givers from making suitable returns by placing the family
+on their ball lists, it yet greatly mars the enjoyment of the ball, and
+prevents its being looked back upon with anything approaching to
+pleasure or satisfaction, the departure of the most eligible partners
+being not the least of the vexations of the night.
+
+These _contretemps_ are sometimes unavoidable; but, when practicable, it
+is always best to postpone a ball rather than to allow it to clash with
+a ball of greater pretensions.
+
+An impromptu dance is often a great success, while an impromptu ball is
+almost as certain to prove a great failure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Difference between a Dance and a Ball= consists in the number of
+the invitations issued, in the strength of the band, and the extent of
+the supper arrangements.
+
+At a dance the number of the guests varies from eighty to two hundred;
+at a ball they vary from two hundred to five hundred.
+
+At a dance a piano band is frequently engaged, while at a ball a full
+band is requisite. At a ball the floral decorations are a great feature,
+at a small dance they are often dispensed with. Ladies new to society as
+it were, or whose circle of acquaintance is of a limited character, and
+who do not number in that circle many ball-givers, and who yet desire to
+form a ball acquaintance, frequently place their ball in the hands of
+some intimate friend of higher standing than themselves, giving her
+_carte blanche_ to form a ball list. When this plan is followed,
+invitations are still sent out by the ball-giver; in every case the name
+and compliments of the lady who forms the list are sent with the card.
+
+This plan, although of advantage to the hostess, is often productive of
+much unpleasantness to her unfashionable friends, who are naturally very
+much affronted at being excluded from the ball list, which they usually
+are, as a lady who undertakes to form a ball list for a friend is not a
+little arbitrary as to the conditions under which she assumes its
+management. She naturally wishes the ball to be confined to her own set,
+to the exclusion of what she terms all outsiders.
+
+Ladies are always more or less reluctant to yield up their ball to the
+exclusion of their old friends, however anxious they may be to make new
+ones. But when a ball is thus given it is thoroughly understood that
+conditions, however stringent, must be complied with.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Hostess should receive her Guests= at the head of the staircase at a
+ball given in town, and at the door of the ball-room at a country house
+ball. She should shake hands with each guest in the order of their
+arrival.
+
+The ladies of a party should advance towards the hostess, followed by
+the gentlemen of their party.
+
+A lady and gentleman should not ascend the staircase arm-in-arm, or make
+their entrance into the ball-room arm-in-arm. The gentlemen invariably
+enter the ball-room after the ladies of their party, and never before
+them, or arm-in-arm with them. A ball is usually opened either by the
+hostess herself, or by one of her daughters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Opening a Fancy Dress Ball= simply signifies dancing in the first
+quadrille. Opening a dance means dancing the first valse.
+
+When a member of the Royal Family, or a foreign prince, is expected,
+dancing should not commence until the arrival of the royal guest; and
+when the royal guest is a lady, the host should open the ball with her,
+having his wife or daughter as _vis-a-vis_. When the royal guest is a
+prince, the hostess or her daughter should open the ball with him.
+
+When a prince wishes to dance with any lady present, with whom he is
+unacquainted, his equerry informs her of the prince's intention, and
+conducts her to the prince, saying as he does so, "Mrs. A----, your
+Royal Highness" or "Miss B----, your Royal Highness." The prince bows
+and offers her his arm; the lady should curtsey and take it. She should
+not address him until addressed by him, it not being considered
+etiquette to do so. The same course is followed by a princess; strangers
+to the princess should not ask her to dance, but the host has the
+privilege of doing so. When more than one royal personage is present,
+the one of the highest rank leads the way, with either hostess or host.
+(See Chapter V.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Royal Guests= should be received by the host and hostess at the
+entrance of the mansion, and by them conducted to the ball-room. At
+ball-suppers the same precedence is strictly in force, the royal guests
+leading the way with host or hostess (see p. 49).
+
+The same etiquette should be observed on the departure of royal guests
+as on their arrival.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=General Introductions= should not be made to royal guests, and
+introductions should be made by request only.
+
+Gentlemen present at a ball are expected to ask the daughters of the
+house for one dance at least.
+
+A hostess should use her own discretion as to any introduction she
+thinks proper to make. When a ball is given in the country, the hostess
+should endeavour to find partners for those young ladies who are
+strangers to the general company. But when a ball is given in town, she
+is not expected to do so, as in town the guests are supposed to be
+acquainted with each other more or less, and to be independent of the
+kind offices of a hostess.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Dances mainly in vogue at the moment= are, "Valses," "The Boston,"
+"Two Steps," and "The Cotillon," in which handsome presents are given.
+"Quadrilles" are danced at "State Balls," and at those balls at which
+the King and Queen are present. Also at "Fancy Dress Balls." "Lancers"
+are danced occasionally at "Hunt Balls."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Precedency observed= in sending guests in to supper is far more
+punctiliously followed in the country than in town. The host should take
+in the lady of highest rank present, and the hostess should endeavour to
+send in the principal guests according to their individual rank; but in
+town she generally leaves the guests to follow the host and lady of
+highest rank according to their inclinations, a guest should not enter
+the supper-room before the host has done so.
+
+When a gentleman takes a lady in to supper, he should re-conduct her to
+the ball-room as a matter of course; the fact of friends joining her in
+the supper-room would not relieve him from this obligation. And the same
+etiquette applies equally to a lady. She should return to the ball-room
+only with the gentleman who has taken her down to supper, unless she is
+engaged for the ensuing dance, when her partner might come in quest of
+her; she should then return to the ball-room with him.
+
+It is not usual for guests to take leave of a hostess at a London ball.
+This remark applies to acquaintances of the hostess, and not to intimate
+friends.
+
+At a country ball the guests are on a more friendly footing than is
+generally the case in town; and, therefore, make a point of taking leave
+of the hostess if possible.
+
+It is optional whether a host conducts a lady to her carriage or not. In
+the country more is expected of him than in town in this respect, as at
+a London ball, such a civility would involve a vast amount of exertion
+which few hosts would be willing to undergo: ladies accompanied by an
+acquaintance generally make their way to their carriages.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Custom of covering in Small Balconies= and the windows of the
+drawing-rooms where a ball takes place, rendering the atmosphere of the
+room almost insupportable from the total exclusion of air, is fast
+disappearing. The space gained by this means for the accommodation of
+the guests is totally disproportionate to the discomfort thereby
+entailed upon them.
+
+Ball-givers have at length realised the mistake of crowding two hundred
+to three hundred people together into rooms not properly ventilated, and
+it is now the rule, when covering in balconies, to introduce window
+frames into the bunting covering, and to drape them with lace curtains,
+etc., the windows of the ball-room being entirely removed.
+
+Large blocks of ice are frequently placed in convenient spots for the
+purpose of cooling the atmosphere, and coloured ice produces a pretty
+effect.
+
+Patent ventilators are also much in use, and the substitution of
+electric lighting, on account of its emitting little heat, has become
+general.
+
+Ball-goers appreciate these alterations as only those who have
+experienced the close, stifling atmosphere of an over-crowded ball-room
+can do, and as half the London ball-rooms are only average-sized
+drawing-rooms, the absurdity of excluding air from the ball-room with
+yards of thick canvas cannot be too severely criticised.
+
+Ball-givers, too, frequently issue far more invitations than the size of
+their rooms authorises, under the mistaken idea that to have a great
+crowd in their rooms is to give a good ball.
+
+But experienced ball-givers limit the number of their invitations to
+under two hundred, instead of expanding it to over three hundred.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Country Ball Season= ostensibly commences in November, reaches its
+zenith in January, and terminates early in February.
+
+The stewards of these balls are, as a rule, the representatives of the
+various classes by whom they are attended; the members of the
+aristocracy residing in the county heading the list of stewards, and the
+members of the professional classes usually closing it.
+
+The top of the ball-room is, as a rule, appropriated by the aristocratic
+element, head stewards and "lady patronesses."
+
+The enjoyment derived from country balls depends upon a variety of
+circumstances, which do not influence in a like degree the ball-going
+world of London.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=County Balls= are principally composed of a series of large parties
+brought by different ladies in the neighbourhood where the ball is held;
+but there are two classes of county balls, balls which are held in large
+and populous towns and attended by the principal residents of the towns,
+with only a small sprinkling of the county aristocracy and county
+gentry.
+
+There are also Hunt Balls and annual Charity Balls which take place
+between October and February, and which are an amalgamation of both
+classes of balls.
+
+The neighbourhood where a ball is held is a sufficient indication as to
+whether it is likely to be a smart one or not.
+
+As a rule the leading ladies of a county lend their names as patronesses
+and supporters of a charity ball, although it by no means follows that
+they will personally attend it; but a long list of influential
+patronesses materially increases the sale of tickets, which is the
+result to be achieved.
+
+A large attendance is not the primary object of a county ball, as the
+sum raised by the sale of tickets is only required to defray the
+expenses of the ball, although these are sometimes considerable,
+especially when the decorations are elaborate, and the arrangements on a
+grand scale, in which case there is not seldom a deficiency rather than
+a surplus, which deficiency is defrayed by the stewards themselves.
+
+To ensure a good ball considerable unanimity on the part of the county
+ladies is demanded, and they usually meet and consult together previous
+to fixing the date of the ball, to take into consideration the fixtures
+of neighbouring county balls, and so avoid the possibility of the said
+balls clashing with their own county ball, and also with a view of
+perhaps attracting the house parties of their more distant neighbours to
+swell the numbers at their own ball.
+
+House parties invited for a ball vary from ten to twenty-five, as the
+accommodation of a house admits.
+
+It is not the province of the stewards of a ball to find partners for
+either ladies or gentlemen, and therefore, if a lady does not form one
+of a large party, but merely attends a county ball with a relative or
+friend, and has not a large acquaintance amongst these present, she has
+very little chance of obtaining partners.
+
+Young ladies do not now return to their chaperons after each dance, or
+after they have been to the tea-room.
+
+A gentleman should offer his arm to his partner at the conclusion of a
+dance to conduct her to the tea-room. In round dances, it is customary
+to take frequent pauses, and not to race round the ball-room until the
+music ceases.
+
+At country balls programmes are invariably used; at London balls they
+are never used, save at public balls.
+
+County balls usually commence between nine and ten o'clock, sometimes a
+ball is not opened until the most influential of the stewards and their
+parties have arrived, but oftener than not the two first dances are over
+before the arrival of the county magnates.
+
+It depends upon the length of the drive at what time people arrive at a
+ball; as a rule, they do not arrive later than 10.30 p.m.
+
+The usual mode of conveying a house-party to a ball is by private
+omnibus in addition to carriages and motor cars; but when these are
+hired for the occasion the expense should be defrayed by the guests
+themselves.
+
+It is usual to leave a country ball not later than half-past two; the
+most fashionable people invariably do so about that hour.
+
+As a matter of course persons attending public balls take their ball
+tickets with them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When attending a Military Ball=, or a Hunt Ball, it is usually the rule
+to take the invitation card and hand it to the sergeant or official in
+attendance.
+
+It is sometimes stated on the invitation card that this is to be done,
+although it is often taken for granted that persons will do so of their
+own accord.
+
+At balls given by private individuals, the invited guests should not
+bring their invitation cards with them, unless in the case of a _bal
+masque_, where they are sometimes requested to do so.
+
+In giving a ball three weeks' notice is considered necessary, but with
+regard to a dance a short ten days' notice would suffice.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Invitation Card= is the usual "at home" card, the word "Dancing"
+being printed in the corner of the card.
+
+The word "ball" should never be used on an invitation card, however
+grand the entertainment; and the same form of invitation is employed
+either in the case of a small dance or of a large ball, though in the
+event of a small dance only being given, the words "Small" or "Early"
+should be written or printed on the invitation card.
+
+Invitations to a ball should be issued in the name of the hostess only.
+
+When the host is a widower, with a grown-up daughter, the invitations
+should be issued in their joint names.
+
+When the host is a widower, or a bachelor, they should be issued in his
+name.
+
+Invitations issued by officers, members of hunt committees, bachelors,
+etc., to their balls, either request the pleasure or the honour of Mrs.
+----'s company; but this formula should not be used by ladies when
+issuing invitations; the "at home" card should simply bear the word
+"Dancing" on the bottom of the card, the hour and date filled in in the
+allotted space, the name of the guest written at the top of the card.
+
+In the case of a written invitation, it would be correct to use the
+words "ball" or "dance" when alluding to the entertainment about to be
+given, in a friendly note.
+
+A lady or gentleman might ask for an invitation for his or her friend to
+a ball given by an acquaintance, although the acquaintanceship were of a
+slight character; but a lady or gentleman should not ask for an
+invitation to a ball if unacquainted with the giver of it. The fact of
+mutual friends having received invitations to a ball gives no claim upon
+the hospitality of a stranger, therefore such requests are inadmissible.
+
+The proper course for a person to pursue in the event of desiring an
+invitation to a ball given by some one with whom he or she is
+unacquainted, is to request some mutual friend to obtain one; and this
+course is always followed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Cards should be left= by the guests present at a ball within the
+current week if possible. (See Chapter III.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gratuities= should never be given by the guests to the servants of the
+house where a ball is given.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=State Balls.=--Two State Balls are annually given at Buckingham Palace
+during the London season by command of His Majesty. Invitations are
+issued by the Lord Chamberlain, but His Majesty previously revises the
+list.
+
+When ladies and gentlemen attend a State Ball at Buckingham Palace they
+make their way to the ball-room _unannounced_; and there is no official
+reception accorded to them, either by "Royalty" or by the Lord
+Chamberlain.
+
+Dancing does not commence until the arrival of the royal party, when the
+guests rise and remain standing while the Royal Quadrille--with which
+the ball opens--is being danced.
+
+The King and Queen act as host and hostess on these occasions, but
+confine their attentions to those with whom they are personally
+acquainted.
+
+Ladies attending a State Ball at Buckingham Palace should wear the usual
+full evening dress; but they should not wear Court trains, or plumes, or
+lappets.
+
+Gentlemen attending State Balls should wear uniform or full Court
+dress--dress coat, breeches and silk stockings, shoes and buckles;
+trousers can only be worn as part of a uniform, and not with a Court
+dress as generally worn at a levee.
+
+A gentleman intending to dance should remove his sword, otherwise he
+should not do so.
+
+When the Court is in mourning, ladies attending a State Ball should wear
+mourning according to the official notice which duly appears in the
+_Gazette_.
+
+Gentlemen should wear crape on the left arm, which is supplied in the
+cloak-room of the Palace to those who have forgotten to provide
+themselves with it, as it is imperative, when the Court is in mourning,
+that a band of crape should be worn at either State Ball or State
+Concert.
+
+The balls given by the princes and princesses of the blood royal are not
+State Balls, therefore Court dress is not worn by the gentlemen present.
+
+They act as host and hostess at the balls given by them and receive
+their guests, shaking hands with them as they are announced.
+
+Ladies and gentlemen do not take their cards of invitation with them to
+Buckingham Palace.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+DINNER GIVING AND DINING OUT
+
+
+=Dinner= giving is perhaps the most important of all social observances,
+therefore dinner parties rank first amongst all entertainments.
+
+Dinner giving is so thoroughly understood to rest upon the principle of
+an equivalent, that those who do not give dinners hardly come within the
+category of diners out. This rule, however, is open to many exceptions
+in favour of privileged individuals, popular and prominent members of
+society whose presence at dinner parties is appreciated and welcomed in
+most circles.
+
+Dinner-parties are of more frequent occurrence, and are of more social
+significance, than any other form of entertainment.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Dinner Invitations.=--An invitation to dinner conveys a greater mark of
+esteem, or friendship and cordiality, towards the guest invited, than is
+conveyed by an invitation to any other social gathering, it being the
+highest compliment, socially speaking, that is offered by one person to
+another. It is also a civility that can be readily interchanged, which
+in itself gives it an advantage over all other civilities.
+
+The orthodox dinner giver must necessarily possess a certain amount of
+wealth, and wealth and wit do not always go hand in hand. Oftener than
+not, the former rather overweights the latter; hence, the introduction
+of a lighter element in the form of amusing people whose _metier_ in
+life it is to be amusing and to appear amused.
+
+Dinner giving is in itself not only a test of the position occupied in
+society by the dinner giver, but it is also a direct road to obtaining a
+recognized place in society. A means of enlarging a limited acquaintance
+and a reputation for giving good dinners is in itself a passport to
+fashionable society. Dinner giving, in the fullest sense of the word, is
+a science not easily acquired, so much depending on the talent which the
+host or hostess may possess for organizing dinner-parties.
+
+When a large dinner-party is contemplated, it is usual to give three
+weeks' notice, but of late this notice has been extended to four, five,
+and even six weeks.
+
+Diners out are rather inclined to rebel against this innovation,
+considering that an invitation bearing the date of a month hence pledges
+them to remain in town, and as it were controls their movements, for the
+acceptance of an invitation is in the eyes of diners out a binding
+obligation; only ill-health, family bereavement, or some all-important
+reason justifies its being set on one side or otherwise evaded.
+
+Those inconsiderate enough to make trivial excuses at the last moment
+are not often retained on the dinner-list of a host or hostess.
+
+Dinner invitations are issued in the joint names of host and hostess.
+
+The master of the house occupies a prominent position amongst his
+guests, when dispensing hospitality as a "dinner giver."
+
+From five to ten days' notice is considered sufficient for invitations
+to small and unceremonious dinner-parties.
+
+Printed cards are in general use in town for issuing dinner invitations,
+and can be purchased from any stationer; these cards only require to be
+filled in with the names of host and hostess and guests, date, hour, and
+address. The united names of the host and hostess should be written in
+the space left for that purpose. Thus, "Mr. and Mrs. A.," and the name
+or names of the guests in the next vacant space.
+
+When invitations are issued for small dinner-parties, it is more usual
+to write notes than to make use of printed cards.
+
+Acceptances or refusals of dinner invitations should be sent with as
+little delay as possible after the invitations have been received. It is
+a want of courtesy on the part of a person invited not to do so, as a
+hostess is otherwise left in doubt as to whether the person invited
+intends dining with her or not, and is consequently unable to fill up
+the vacant place with an eligible substitute; thus rendering her
+dinner-party an ill-assorted one.
+
+An answer to an invitation cannot be solicited in a subsequent note; it
+is therefore incumbent upon the invited person to dispatch an answer
+within a day or two at least. Dinner invitations are either sent by post
+or by a servant, and the answers are also conveyed in a like manner.
+
+Dinner invitations are invariably sent out by the hostess.
+
+It is not usual in town to invite more than three members of one family;
+it is now the custom to ask young ladies with their parents to
+dinner-parties.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Receiving Dinner-Guests.=--The guests should arrive within fifteen
+minutes of the hour named on the invitation card.
+
+On no occasion is punctuality more imperative than in the case of dining
+out; formerly many allowed themselves great latitude in this respect,
+and a long wait for the tardy guests was the result. A host and hostess
+frequently waited over half an hour for expected guests. But now
+punctuality has become the rule in the highest circles, and dinner is
+served within twenty minutes of the arrival of the first guest. In
+general, people much given to dining out make a point of arriving in
+good time; but there are many in society who presume upon their
+position, and are proverbially unpunctual, knowing that in the height of
+the season a hostess would wait half an hour rather than sit down to
+dinner without them; but this want of consideration soon becomes known
+in their different sets, and is always taken into account when "their
+company is requested at dinner."
+
+In France, it is not the rule, or the custom, to wait dinner for late
+arrivals, and the dinner is served punctually to the hour named in the
+invitation.
+
+The dinner-hour varies from eight to nine, although perhaps 8.30 is the
+most usual hour. In the country it ranges from 7.30 to 8.30.
+
+Punctuality on the part of the guests enables the hostess to make any
+introductions she may consider advisable before dinner is served.
+
+The host and hostess should be in readiness to receive their guests in
+the drawing-room at the hour specified on the card.
+
+On arrival, a lady should take off her cloak in the cloak-room, or
+should leave it in the hall with the servant in attendance, before
+entering the drawing-room.
+
+A gentleman should leave his overcoat and hat in the gentlemen's
+cloak-room, or in the hall.
+
+At large dinner-parties, the butler is stationed on the staircase, and
+announces the guests as they arrive. At small dinner-parties, or where
+only one man-servant is kept, the servant precedes the guest or guests
+on their arrival, to the drawing-room. The guests should then give their
+names to the servant, that he may announce them.
+
+A lady and gentleman, on being announced, should not enter the
+drawing-room arm-in-arm or side by side. The lady or ladies, if more
+than one, should enter the room in advance of the gentleman, although
+the servant announces "Mr., Mrs., and Miss A."
+
+The host and hostess should come forward and shake hands with each guest
+on arrival. The ladies should at once seat themselves, but gentlemen
+either stand about the room and talk to each other, or sit down after a
+wait of some minutes.
+
+When a lady is acquainted with many of the guests present, she should
+not make her way at once to shake hands with all, but should make an
+opportunity to do so in an unobtrusive manner; it would be sufficient to
+recognise them by a nod or a smile in the mean time. A lady should bow
+to any gentleman she knows, and he should cross the room to shake hands
+with her at once if disengaged.
+
+At a small dinner-party, where the guests are unacquainted, the hostess
+should introduce the persons of highest rank to each other; but at a
+large dinner-party, she would not do so, unless she had some especial
+reason for making the introduction.
+
+In the country, introductions at dinner-parties are far oftener made
+than in town.
+
+Precedency is strictly observed at all dinner-parties. (See Chapter V.)
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Sending Guests in to Dinner.=--The host should take the lady of highest
+rank present in to dinner, and the gentleman of highest rank should take
+the hostess. This rule is absolute, unless the lady or gentleman of
+highest rank is related to the host or hostess, in which case his or her
+rank would be in abeyance, out of courtesy to the other guests.
+
+A husband and wife, or a father and daughter, or a mother and son,
+should not be sent in to dinner together.
+
+A host and hostess should, if possible, invite an equal number of ladies
+and gentlemen. It is usual to invite two or more gentlemen than there
+are ladies, in order that the married ladies should not be obliged to go
+in to dinner with each other's husbands only. Thus, Mrs. A. and Mr. B.,
+Mr. B. and Mrs. A., Mrs. B. should be taken in to dinner by Mr. C., and
+Mr. A. should take Mrs. G., and so on.
+
+When ladies are in a majority at a dinner-party to the extent of two or
+three, the ladies of highest rank should be taken in to dinner by the
+gentlemen present, and the remaining ladies should follow by themselves;
+but such an arrangement is unusual and undesirable, though sometimes
+unavoidable when the dinner-party is an impromptu one, for instance, and
+the notice given has been but a short one.
+
+If there should be one gentleman short of the number required, the
+hostess frequently goes in to dinner by herself, following in the wake
+of the last couple.
+
+The usual mode of sending guests in to dinner is for the host or hostess
+to inform each gentleman, shortly after his arrival, which of the ladies
+he is to take in to dinner.
+
+No "choice" is given to any gentleman as to which of the ladies he would
+prefer taking in to dinner, it being simply a question of precedency.
+
+Should any difficulty arise as to the order in which the guests should
+follow the host to the dining-room, the hostess, knowing the precedency
+due to each of her guests, should indicate to each gentleman when it is
+his turn to descend to the dining-room. He should then offer his arm to
+the lady whom the host had previously desired him to take in to dinner.
+
+Dinner is announced by the butler or man-servant.
+
+When the guests have arrived, or when the host desires dinner to be
+served, he should ring or inform the servant accordingly.
+
+On dinner being announced, the host should give his right arm to the
+lady of highest rank present, and, with her, lead the way to the
+dining-room, followed by the lady second in rank, with a gentleman
+second in rank and so on. The gentleman of highest rank present should
+follow last with the hostess.
+
+When the second couple are about to leave the drawing-room, the hostess
+frequently requests each gentleman in turn to follow with a lady
+according to the precedency due to each. Thus, "Mr. A., will you take
+Mrs. B.?" This also answers the purpose of an introduction, should the
+couple be unacquainted with each other, and the hostess has not found
+an opportunity of introducing them to each other on their arrival.
+
+When a case of precedency occurs, in which either the lady or gentleman
+must waive their right of precedence, that of the gentleman gives way to
+that of the lady. (See Chapter V.)
+
+A gentleman should offer his right arm to a lady on leaving the
+drawing-room.
+
+Ladies and gentlemen should not proceed to the dining-room in silence,
+but should at once enter into conversation with each other. (See the
+work entitled "The Art of Conversing.")
+
+On entering the dining-room the lady whom the host has taken in to
+dinner should seat herself at his right hand. On the Continent this
+custom is reversed, and it is etiquette for the lady to sit at the left
+hand of the gentleman by whom she is taken in to dinner.
+
+The host should remain standing in his place, at the bottom of the
+table, until the guests have taken their seats, and should motion the
+various couples as they enter the dining-room to the places he wishes
+them to occupy at the table. This is the most usual method of placing
+the guests at the dinner-table. When the host does not indicate where
+they are to sit, they sit near to the host or hostess according to
+precedency.
+
+The host and hostess should arrange beforehand the places they wish
+their guests to occupy at the dinner-table.
+
+If a host did not indicate to the guests the various places he wished
+them to occupy, the result would probably be that husbands and wives
+would be seated side by side, or uncongenial people would sit together.
+
+The custom of putting a card with the name of the guest on the table in
+the place allotted to each individual guest is frequently followed at
+large dinner-parties, and in some instances the name of each guest is
+printed on a menu and placed in front of each cover.
+
+The host and the lady taken in to dinner by him should sit at the bottom
+of the table. He should sit in the centre at the bottom of the table and
+place the lady whom he has taken down at his right hand. The same rule
+applies to the hostess. She should sit in the centre at the top of the
+table, the gentleman by whom she has been taken in to dinner being
+placed at her left hand.
+
+The lady second in rank should sit at the host's left hand.
+
+Each lady should sit at the right hand of the gentleman by whom she is
+taken in to dinner.
+
+It is solely a matter of inclination whether a lady and gentleman, who
+have gone in to dinner together, converse with each other only, or with
+their right-and left-hand neighbours also, but they usually find some
+topic of conversation in common, otherwise a dinner-party would prove
+but a succession of _tete-a-tete_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Menus= are placed the length of the table, on an average one to two
+persons or occasionally one to each person, and the menu cards are
+elaborate or simple, according to individual taste, and are purchased
+printed for the purpose, having a space for the names of the dishes to
+be filled in, which is usually done by the mistress of the house, unless
+the establishment is on a large scale, it being usual to write them out
+in French.
+
+Fanciful menu holders are much in use.
+
+The use of menus would be pretentious at a small dinner-party when there
+is but little choice of dishes; but when there is a choice of dishes a
+menu is indispensable.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Usual and Fashionable Mode of serving Dinner= is called _Diner a la
+Russe_, although at small or friendly dinners the host sometimes prefers
+to carve the joint himself in the first course, and the birds in the
+second course. But dinner-tables, whether for dining _a la Russe_, or
+for dining _en famille_, are invariably arranged in the same style, the
+difference being merely the extent of the display made as regards
+flowers, plate and glass, which are the accessories of the dining-table.
+
+When the host helps the soup, a small ladleful for each person is the
+proper quantity; a soup-plate should not be filled with soup.
+
+When the party is a small one, and the joints or birds are carved by the
+host, the portions should be handed to the guests in the order in which
+they are seated, although occasionally the ladies are helped before the
+gentlemen.
+
+The rule at all dinner-parties is for the servant to commence serving by
+handing the dishes to the lady seated at the host's right hand, then to
+the lady seated at the host's left hand, and from thence the length of
+the table to each guest in the order seated, irrespective of sex.
+
+Double _entrees_ should be provided at large dinner-parties, and the
+servants should commence handing the dishes at both sides of the table
+simultaneously.
+
+_Diner a la Russe_ is the Russian fashion introduced into society many
+years ago. The whole of the dinner is served from a side-table, no
+dishes whatever being placed on the table save dishes of fruit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Dinner-table Decorations.=--As regards the most correct style of
+dinner-table decorations, they offer great diversity of arrangement.
+
+High centre pieces and low centre pieces. Low specimen glasses placed
+the length of the table and trails of creepers and flowers laid on the
+table-cloth itself are some of the prevailing features of the day, but
+table decorations are essentially a matter of taste rather than of
+etiquette, and the extent of these decorations depends very much upon
+the size of the plate chest and the length of the purse of the dinner
+giver.
+
+The fruit for dessert is usually arranged down the centre of the table,
+amidst the flowers and plate. Some dinner-tables are also adorned with a
+variety of French conceits besides fruit and flowers; other
+dinner-tables are decorated with flowers and plate only, the dessert not
+being placed on the table at all; but this latter mode can only be
+adopted by those who can make a lavish display of flowers and plate in
+the place of fruit.
+
+As regards lighting the dinner table. Electric light is now in general
+use in town, and more or less in the country when possible. When not
+available, lamps and wax candles are used as heretofore. The shades in
+use should be carefully chosen as they add greatly to the comfort of the
+guests and to the success of the lighting. Silver candlesticks are often
+fitted with small electric lamps, and handsome silver lamps are brought
+into use in a similar manner for the dinner table.
+
+The term "cover" signifies the place laid at table for each person. It
+consists of a table-spoon for soup, fish knife and fork, two knives, two
+large forks, and glasses for wines given. For such arrangements see
+chapter "Waiting at dinner" in the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+Sherry is always drunk after soup, hock with the fish after the soup.
+Champagne is drunk immediately after the first _entree_ has been served,
+and during the remainder of dinner until dessert. Claret, sherry, port,
+and Madeira are the wines drunk at dessert, and not champagne, as it is
+essentially a dinner wine. When liqueurs are given they are handed after
+the ices.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Dinner-table Etiquette.=--Soup should be eaten with a table-spoon and
+not with a dessert-spoon, it would be out of place to use a
+dessert-spoon for that purpose. Dessert-spoons, as their name implies,
+are intended for other purposes, such as for eating fruit-tarts,
+custard-puddings, etc., or any sweet that is not sufficiently
+substantial to be eaten with a fork.
+
+Fish should be eaten with a silver fork when possible, otherwise with a
+silver fish knife and fork.
+
+All made dishes, such as _quenelles_, _rissoles_, patties, etc., should
+be eaten with a fork only, and not with a knife and fork.
+
+For sweetbreads and cutlets, etc., a knife and fork are requisite; and,
+as a matter of course, for poultry, game, etc.
+
+In eating asparagus, a knife and fork should be used, and the points
+should be cut off and eaten with a fork as is seakale, etc.
+
+Salad should be eaten with a knife and fork; it is served on salad
+plates, which are placed beside the dinner-plates.
+
+Cucumber is eaten off the dinner-plate, and not off a separate plate.
+
+Peas should be eaten with a fork.
+
+In eating game or poultry, the bone of either wing or leg should not be
+touched with the fingers, but the meat cut close off the bone; and if a
+wing it is best to sever it at the joint, by which means the meat is cut
+off far more easily.
+
+Pastry should be eaten with a fork, but in the case of a fruit tart, a
+dessert-spoon should be used as well as a fork, but only for the purpose
+of conveying the fruit and juice to the mouth; and in the case of stone
+fruit--cherries, damsons, plums, etc.--either the dessert-spoon or fork
+should be raised to the lips to receive the stones, which should be
+placed at the side of the plate; but when the fruit stones are of larger
+size, they should be separated from the fruit with the fork and spoon,
+and left on the plate, and not put into the mouth; and whenever it is
+possible to separate the stones from the fruit it is best to do so.
+
+Jellies, blancmanges, ice puddings, etc., should be eaten with a fork,
+as should be all sweets sufficiently substantial to admit of it.
+
+When eating cheese, small morsels of the cheese should be placed with
+the knife on small morsels of bread, and the two conveyed to the mouth
+with the thumb and finger, the piece of bread being the morsel to hold,
+as cheese should not be taken up in the fingers, and should not be eaten
+off the point of the knife.[3]
+
+The finger-glass should be removed from the ice-plate and placed on the
+left-hand side of the dessert-plate. When ices are not given, the
+d'oyley should be removed with the finger-glass and placed beneath it.
+
+When eating grapes, the half-closed hand should be placed to the mouth,
+and the stones and skins allowed to fall into the fingers, and placed on
+the side of the plate. Some persons bend the head so as to allow of the
+stones and skins of the grapes falling on the side of the plate; but
+this latter way is old-fashioned, and seldom followed. Cherries and
+other small stone-fruit should be eaten in the way grapes are eaten,
+also gooseberries.
+
+When strawberries and raspberries, etc., are not eaten with cream, they
+should be eaten from the stalks; when eaten with cream, a dessert-spoon
+should be used to remove them from the stalks. When served in the
+American fashion without stalks, both fork and spoon should be used.
+
+Pears and apples should be peeled and cut into halves and quarters with
+a fruit-knife and fork, as should peaches, nectarines, and apricots.
+
+Melons should be eaten with a spoon and fork.
+
+Pines with knife and fork.
+
+The dessert is handed to the guests in the order in which the dinner has
+been served.[4]
+
+When the guests have been helped to wine, and the servants have left the
+dining-room, the host should pass the decanters to his guests,
+commencing with the gentleman nearest to him.
+
+It is not the fashion for gentlemen to drink wine with each other either
+at dinner or dessert, and the guest fills his glass or not, according to
+inclination.
+
+Ladies are not supposed to require a second glass of wine at dessert,
+and passing the decanters is principally for the gentlemen. If a lady
+should require a second glass of wine at dessert, the gentleman seated
+next to her would fill her glass; she should not help herself to wine.
+After the wine has been passed once around the table, or about ten
+minutes after the servants have left the dining-room, the hostess should
+give the signal for the ladies to leave the dining-room, by bowing to
+the lady of highest rank present, seated at the host's right hand. She
+should then rise from her seat, as should all the ladies on seeing her
+do so.
+
+The gentlemen should rise also, and remain standing by their chairs
+until the ladies have quitted the room, which they should do in the
+order in which they have entered it, the lady of highest rank leading
+the way, the hostess following last.
+
+The host, or the gentleman nearest the door, should open it for the
+ladies to pass out, and close it after them.
+
+When the ladies have left the dining-room, the gentlemen should close up
+as near to the host as possible, so as to render conversation general.
+
+The wines usually drunk by gentlemen after dinner are claret of a fine
+quality, and port.
+
+The ladies on leaving the dining-room return to the drawing-room. Coffee
+should be almost immediately brought to the drawing-room. The
+coffee-cups containing coffee should be brought on a silver salver, with
+a cream-jug and a basin of crystallised sugar.
+
+In large country houses coffee is sometimes brought in a silver
+coffee-pot, and the lady would then pour out her own coffee, the servant
+holding the salver the meanwhile.
+
+Coffee should be taken a few minutes later to the dining-room, and
+either handed to the gentlemen, or placed on the table, that they may
+help themselves (see the work previously referred to).
+
+A very general plan is, after the wine has gone round once or twice, for
+the host to offer cigarettes, which are smoked before the gentlemen join
+the ladies in the drawing-room.
+
+After coffee, the gentleman of highest rank should leave the dining-room
+first. The host would not propose an adjournment to the drawing-room,
+until he observed a wish to do so on the part of his guests, but there
+is no hard and fast rule on this head.
+
+It is not now the fashion for gentlemen to sit over their wine beyond
+fifteen or twenty minutes at the utmost, instead of as formerly, from
+three-quarters of an hour to an hour, a change much appreciated by
+hostesses.
+
+On the Continent the gentlemen accompany the ladies to the drawing-room,
+and do not remain in the dining-room as in England.
+
+The gentleman of highest rank present could suggest an adjournment to
+the drawing-room within a quarter of an hour if he thought proper to do
+so. If the other guests were engaged in a discussion in which he did not
+wish to take part, having suggested the adjournment, he could leave the
+dining-room to join the ladies in the drawing-room; but as a rule, the
+gentlemen leave the dining-room together, the host following last.
+
+The host should ring the dining-room bell before leaving the room, as an
+intimation to the butler that the gentlemen have left the room.
+
+At ceremonious dinner-parties in town neither music nor cards are
+introduced during the usual half-hour passed in the drawing-room before
+the hour for departure.
+
+At country-house dinner-parties music or round games of cards are in
+request.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Departure after Dinner.=--There is no rule as to the order in which the
+guests should take their leave. Half-past ten is the usual hour for
+general departure; and the butler announces the several carriages as
+they arrive to the guests in the drawing-room. But if any lady wished to
+inquire if her carriage had arrived, she should ask the hostess's
+permission to do so; and the bell would be rung for the purpose of
+making the enquiry. The same remark applies to ordering a cab: the lady
+should ask the hostess if one might be ordered for her.
+
+The hostess should shake hands with all her guests on their departure,
+rising from her seat to do so.
+
+Each guest on departure should shake hands with both host and hostess.
+
+If, on leaving the room, acquaintances should pass each other, they
+should wish each other good-night, but they should not make the tour of
+the rooms for the purpose of so doing.
+
+The host should conduct one or two of the principal of his lady guests
+to their carriages.
+
+The ladies should put on their cloaks in the cloak-room, the host
+waiting in the hall meanwhile.
+
+A gentleman related to the host or hostess, or a friend of the family,
+could offer to conduct a lady to her carriage if the host were otherwise
+engaged.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gratuities= should never be offered by the guests at a dinner-party to
+the servants in attendance. Gentlemen should not offer fees to the
+men-servants, neither should ladies to the lady's-maid in attendance.
+
+The guests should call on the hostess within a week or ten days after a
+dinner-party. If "not at home," a married lady should leave one of her
+own cards and two of her husband's; a widow should leave one of her own
+cards; a bachelor or a widower should leave two cards.
+
+The rule as to calling after dinner-parties is greatly relaxed between
+intimate friends, and the call often omitted altogether; and this more
+particularly as regards gentlemen, whose occupations during the day are
+considered good and sufficient reasons for not calling.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Country Dinner-parties.=--In the country, new acquaintances, if
+neighbours, should be asked to dinner within a month of the first call
+if possible, and the return invitation should be given within the
+following month.
+
+When guests are assembled at a country house, they are sent in to
+dinner, on the first evening, according to their individual precedence;
+but on subsequent evenings the gentlemen frequently draw lots to decide
+which lady they shall have the pleasure of taking in to dinner,
+otherwise a lady and gentleman would go in to dinner together five or
+six consecutive times, according to the length of the visit, but this is
+more a practice with people who march with the times, than with what are
+termed "old-fashioned people."
+
+When a party is varied by additional dinner-guests each evening, drawing
+lots gives way to precedency, it being too familiar a practice to be
+adopted at a large dinner-party.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Saying Grace=, both before and after 'dinner,' is a matter of feeling
+rather than of etiquette. It used to be very much the custom to say
+"grace," but of late years it is oftener omitted than not, especially at
+large dinner-parties in town.
+
+In the country, when a clergyman is present, he should be asked to say
+grace. When grace is said by the host, it is said in a low voice, and in
+a very few words; the guests inclining their heads the while.
+
+It was no rapid revolutionary change in manners that brought about the
+difference that now exists between the Elizabethan and present eras; no
+polished mentor came forward to teach that it was not the nicest and
+cleanest to do, to put knives into the salt, to dip fingers into
+plates, or to spread butter with the thumb; on the contrary, these
+things righted themselves little by little, step by step, until the
+present code of manners was arrived at. But it is quite possible that a
+hundred years hence it will be discovered that the manners of the
+present century offered wide scope for improvement.
+
+In the meantime these rules of etiquette observed in society are adhered
+to and followed by those who do not wish to appear singular, eccentric,
+old-fashioned, unconventional, or any other adjective that the temper of
+their judges may induce them to apply to them for committing solecisms,
+either small or great.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Married Ladies, as a rule, dine out with their Husbands=, and do not
+accept invitations to large dinners when their husbands are unable to
+accompany them. There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, and
+circumstances sometimes arise when it is greatly relaxed; but even in
+this case it would be in favour of small and friendly dinners rather
+than large ones.
+
+During any temporary absence of her husband, a lady would accept
+invitations to dine with her relatives and intimate friends, though she
+might refuse invitations to large dinners given by acquaintances; but,
+as a rule, when it is well known that the head of a house is away for
+any length of time, invitations are seldom sent to the wife by givers of
+large dinners.
+
+When young ladies are invited to dinner they accompany their father,
+mother or brother; but occasionally, when a young ladies' party is given
+by a friend of their parents', the young ladies are invited alone, and
+they should either go with their maid in a cab or by themselves in their
+father's carriage.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[3] Respecting the arrangement of the dinner table for dessert, see
+the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+[4] See the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+DINNER-TABLE ETIQUETTE
+
+
+Fashion has its freaks and its vagaries, and in relation to inanimate
+objects these freaks and vagaries are but transitory and evanescent, but
+when they touch upon manners and modes they become a conventionality and
+a custom perhaps for many a year. Changes and innovations, slight as
+they are, are more subtle than sudden, and, paradoxical as it may seem,
+they are as important as they are insignificant; still it is difficult
+to believe that fingers once did duty for forks, and that it was not
+customary for a host to supply his guests with forks, who, if fastidious
+enough to require them, were expected to bring them in their pockets.
+
+There are here and there people in society who affect a few
+eccentricities of manner, but these whims at all times take the form of
+originalities and not of vulgarities; and even then are only indulged in
+by those whose position in society is secure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards Dinner-table Etiquette.=--When a lady has taken her seat at
+the dinner-table, she should at once remove her gloves; although
+occasionally long elbow gloves are not removed during dinner, but this
+is conspicuous and inconvenient. She should unfold her serviette and
+place it on her lap. It is immaterial whether she places the bread on
+the right or left-hand side of the cover when taking it from the
+serviette.
+
+A gentleman should do the same with his serviette and bread, placing
+the one across his knees, and the other at his right or left hand.
+
+When a lady is some little time taking off her gloves, she should remove
+her serviette before doing so: otherwise a servant would offer her soup
+before she had made room for the soup-plate by removing the serviette,
+and she should decide quickly as to which of the two soups handed to her
+she will take, so as not to keep the servant waiting; and so on through
+every course throughout the dinner as regards fish, meat, etc.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The guests should consult the menu= on first sitting down to dinner.
+Eating soup comes first under notice. In olden days it was customary to
+drink it out of a basin. In these days no one "drinks" soup, it is
+"eaten"; whether it be mock turtle or the clearest julienne, it is eaten
+out of a soup-plate at dinner, and with a table-spoon.
+
+There is a reason for this choice of spoons; soup is nothing if it is
+not hot, and as it is the custom to give only about half a ladleful to
+each person, it is eaten quicker, and therefore hotter, with a large
+spoon than with a small one.
+
+There is also a good and sufficient reason for small quantities of soup
+being given in lieu of large ones, viz. the extent of the menu; and when
+a plateful of soup is handed to a guest accustomed to the regulation
+supply, he fears that he is expected to dine off it, and that there is
+nothing much to follow.
+
+Again, small helpings require a smaller quantity of soup to be provided,
+and a servant is less likely to spill plates containing a little soup
+than plates that are half full.
+
+At ball suppers, when soup is served in soup-plates, it is also eaten
+with a table-spoon, but not when served in small cups.
+
+Many years ago it was fashionable to eat fish with a fork and a crust of
+bread; previous to this a table-knife and fork were considered the
+proper things to use for this purpose. It was then discovered that a
+steel knife gave an unpalatable flavour to the fish, and a crust of
+bread was substituted for the knife. This fashion lasted a considerable
+time, in spite of the fingers being thus brought unpleasantly near to
+the plate, and to this day old-fashioned people have a predilection for
+that crust of bread. One evening a well-known diner-out discarded his
+crust of bread, and ate his fish with two silver forks; this notion
+found such general favour that society dropped the humble crust and took
+up a second fork. This fashion had its little day, but at length the two
+forks were found heavy for the purpose and not altogether satisfactory,
+and were superseded by the dainty and convenient little silver
+fish-knife and fork which are now in general use.
+
+Small pieces of fish should always be given, and two different sorts of
+fish should not be placed on the same plate.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When oysters are given= they precede the soup, and should be eaten with
+a dinner-fork, not with a fish-fork. In eating oysters the shell should
+be steadied on the plate with the fingers of the left hand, the oysters
+should not be cut, but should be eaten whole. Very many ladies do not
+eat oysters at dinner simply because they do not like them, while others
+refuse them under the impression that it is more ladylike not to eat
+them. Perhaps with regard to young ladies it is a taste to be acquired.
+Some men are very, if not over, fastidious, about the appetites
+displayed by ladies, and would have them reject the _entrees_ and dine
+upon a slice of chicken and a spoonful of jelly. Others, on the
+contrary, respect a good appetite as giving proof of good health and
+good digestion. There is of course a medium in all things, and as large
+dinners are ordered mainly with a view to please the palates of men with
+epicurean tastes, it is not expected that ladies should eat of the most
+highly seasoned and richest of the dishes given, but should rather
+select the plainest on the menu. This remark more particularly applies
+to young ladies and young married ladies, whilst middle-aged and elderly
+ladies are at liberty to do pretty much as they please, without
+provoking comment or even observation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=With reference to entrees=, some are eaten with a knife and fork,
+others with a fork only. All _entrees_ that offer any resistance to a
+fork require the aid of both knife and fork, such as cutlets, _filet de
+boeuf_, sweetbreads, etc., but when rissoles, patties, quenelles,
+boneless curry, _vol-au-vents_, timbales, etc., are eaten, the fork only
+should be used.
+
+In the case of the lighter _entrees_, the contact of the knife is
+supposed to militate against their delicate flavour; thus, for these
+_bonnes bouches_ the fork is all-sufficient wherewith to divide and eat
+them.
+
+The leg of a chicken, pheasant, duck, or wild duck should never be given
+to a guest save on those occasions when there are more guests present
+than there is meat from breasts and wings to offer them. Under these
+circumstances the carver is reduced to the necessity of falling back
+upon the legs of the birds, but in this case only the upper part of the
+thigh should be given, thus a guest has little difficulty in cutting the
+meat from the bone. A wing of a bird is usually given to a lady.
+Formerly it was thought a correct thing to sever the wing at the joint
+and then to cut the meat from the bone; but this requires a certain
+amount of strength in the wrist, and dexterity, should the bird not be
+in its _premiere jeunesse_.
+
+As regards small pigeons, golden plovers, snipe, quails, larks, etc., a
+whole bird is given to each guest, and the proper way to eat these birds
+is to cut the meat from the breast and wings and to eat each morsel at
+the moment of cutting it; the bird should not be turned over and over on
+the plate, or cut in half or otherwise dissected. The legs of Bordeaux
+pigeons are not, as a rule, eaten, and half a bird only is given, as
+there is sufficient on the wing and breast to satisfy an ordinary
+second-course appetite. When the legs of smaller birds are eaten, such
+as snipe or golden plover, the meat should be cut off as from the breast
+or wing.
+
+Young girls, as a rule, seldom eat a second course delicacy of this
+description; a little chicken or pheasant on the contrary is usually
+accepted by them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When large potatoes are served= in their skins a salad-plate should be
+handed at the same time whereon to place them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When asparagus first comes into season= it is often given in the second
+course instead of in the first, in which case it is eaten as a separate
+dish. When handed with meat or poultry it should be eaten on the same
+plate containing either.
+
+In eating asparagus, some elderly gentlemen still adhere to the fashion
+of their youth and hold the stalks in their fingers, but the younger
+generation cut off the points with a knife and fork.
+
+Seakale also is given in the second course when first in season, and
+should be eaten with a knife and fork.
+
+Mushrooms are also eaten with a knife and fork.
+
+It need hardly be said that it would be a vulgarity to eat peas with a
+knife, although those who reside abroad, or who are in the habit of
+travelling on the continent, are not unaccustomed to seeing this done by
+foreigners who are well-bred men.
+
+Artichokes are, it may be said, an awkward and untidy vegetable to eat;
+they are only given in the second course as a separate vegetable; the
+outside leaves should be removed with the knife and fork, and the inner
+leaves which surround the heart, or head of the artichoke should be
+conveyed to the mouth with the fingers and sucked dry; epicures consider
+this vegetable a dainty morsel; but at dinner-parties young ladies
+should not attempt to eat these artichokes.
+
+Savouries, when possible, should be eaten with a fork, but occasionally
+a knife also is of imperative use.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards sweets=, _compotes_ of fruit and fruit tarts should be eaten
+with a dessert-spoon and fork, as should those dishes where juice or
+syrup prevails to the extent of rendering a dessert-spoon necessary. But
+whenever it is possible to use a fork in preference to a spoon it is
+always better to do so.
+
+Jellies, creams, blancmanges, ice puddings, etc., should be eaten with a
+fork.
+
+As a matter of course, young ladies do not eat cheese at dinner-parties.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV
+
+EVENING PARTIES
+
+
+=Evening Parties= are styled receptions or "at homes" according to the
+number of guests invited. In official and political circles they are
+invariably styled "Receptions," but when given on a smaller scale in
+general society they are styled "At Homes."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations= to evening parties should be issued on "at home" cards.
+
+The name of the person invited should be written at the top of the card
+at the right-hand corner, the words "at home" being printed beneath the
+name of the lady issuing the invitation, the day and date beneath the
+words "at home," the hour beneath the date. The address should be
+printed at the bottom of the card.
+
+When music is to be given it should be mentioned on the "at home" card,
+thus, "Music."
+
+The hour varies from 10 to 11 o'clock; in private circles 10 or 10.30 is
+the usual hour; in official circles 10.30 or 11 o'clock.
+
+When a foreign royal personage is expected, or a foreigner of
+distinction, or a personage possessing public interest, the words "To
+meet Her Serene Highness Princess D.," or "To meet Count C." should be
+written at the top of the invitation cards.
+
+When a reception or "at home" follows a dinner-party given by the
+hostess, it is not usual to provide any special amusement for the
+guests. But when an "at home" does not follow a dinner-party, it is
+usual to provide some sort of amusement for the guests, such as
+professional vocal or instrumental music.
+
+The guests are expected to arrive from half an hour to an hour of the
+time mentioned on the invitation card, although it is optional when they
+do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Receiving the Guests.=--The hostess should receive her guests at the
+head of the staircase, where she usually remains until the principal of
+her guests have arrived; while the host welcomes the guests in the
+drawing-room itself.
+
+Receptions or "at homes" usually terminate shortly before one o'clock,
+save on Saturdays, when the hour of departure is 12 o'clock precisely.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Making Introductions.=--A hostess should use her own discretion as
+regards making introductions.
+
+When a royal personage is present the most distinguished of the guests
+should be presented by the host or hostess. When a celebrity is present
+introductions should also be made; and as regards general introductions
+they should be made whenever the hostess judges it expedient to do so,
+and the principal guests when unacquainted should be introduced to each
+other when the opportunity occurs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Going in to Supper.=--The host should take the lady of highest rank in
+to supper.
+
+When a royal princess is present the host should take her in to supper.
+
+When a royal prince is present he should take the hostess in to supper.
+(See Chapter V.)
+
+It is optional whether the hostess follows with the gentleman of highest
+rank present, unless a foreign prince is present, when she should
+follow the host, and in the case of a royal prince being present she
+should precede the host.
+
+When a royal prince or princess or a serene highness is present a table
+should be set apart for the host and hostess and royal party, and any
+among the guests whom the royal visitors may desire should join them at
+supper.
+
+When the supper-room is not sufficiently large to accommodate the whole
+of the guests at the same time, the most distinguished guests should go
+in first.
+
+When the host is informed that supper is served he should tell the
+principal gentlemen present which of the ladies he wishes them to take
+into supper, and should himself lead the way with the lady of highest
+rank present.
+
+The hostess should also assist in sending the principal guests in to
+supper, and when the general company observe the move towards the
+supper-room, they should follow in the same direction.
+
+When the general company are apparently not aware that the supper-room
+is open, the hostess should ask the various gentlemen to take the ladies
+in to supper, and should herself lead the way with one of the gentlemen.
+
+When the general company find the supper-room crowded they should return
+to the drawing-room for a quarter of an hour or so; but the hostess
+should arrange for some instrumental or vocal performance to commence
+when supper is first served, so as to occupy the attention of the guests
+who remain in the drawing-room.
+
+The guests frequently do not return to the drawing-room after supper,
+but go to the cloak-room for their cloaks and wraps, and thence to their
+carriages.
+
+It is not usual to take leave of the host and hostess at receptions.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Royal Guests present.=--When a royal personage is present the host
+should conduct her to her carriage.
+
+When a foreign prince is present the host should accompany him to the
+hall door.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Tea and Light Refreshments= should be served during the evening in the
+library, or in an adjacent apartment.
+
+Supper should be served at twelve o'clock, in the dining-room, and
+should be similar in character to a ball supper.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to Bridge Parties= are issued on "at home" cards when the
+guests number upwards of forty, and on visiting cards when a lesser
+number is invited.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Invitation Form= is, "Mrs. A---- At Home" in both instances. The
+day, date, and hour are put beneath the words "at home," and "Bridge" in
+the corner of the cards opposite the address. The usual hour for holding
+these evening receptions is 9 o'clock p.m., which allows of three hours'
+play before midnight. The guests arrive very punctually, rather before
+than after the hour named on the invitation cards. The guests comprise
+an equal number of both sexes, as husbands and wives are invited
+together when both are known to be bridge players, and bachelors who do
+not disdain playing for small stakes are in great request. Also
+unmarried ladies of a certain age; not girls in their teens.
+
+Prizes are given in some houses to the conquering players. One for the
+ladies and one for the gentlemen, and occasionally a second prize for
+the second best player of either sex. This is done when playing for
+money does not commend itself to a host and hostess. The prizes consist
+for the most part of useful articles. For instance, a box of gloves, a
+box of bon-bons, a case of eau d'Cologne, a card-case, a bag purse, and
+so on, all of which are acceptable to ladies; and a box of cigars or
+cigarettes, a silver pocket-flask, a silver-mounted stick or umbrella,
+are prizes the men winners are pleased to accept.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridge Tables= at which the guests are to sit are numbered, and the
+hostess arranges by whom they are to be occupied. The names--four in
+number for each table--are written or printed with the number of the
+table upon small cards and given to the guests by the hostess on
+arrival. This is done that good players may be placed together, and to
+save confusion and loss of time in seating them at the various tables.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Refreshments= provided consist in the first instance of "coffee,"
+which is brought into the card-room or drawing-room and handed to the
+guests. No eatables are given with this after-dinner coffee. A supper is
+given either at the conclusion of the play at 12 o'clock--this being the
+more usual plan--or at 10.30, after which play is resumed for another
+hour or so; but the latter is more of a provincial custom than a town
+one, and is intended for those whose dinner hour is an early one--6.30,
+perhaps.
+
+When a supper is not given, very good light refreshments are substituted
+for it, including cups of hot soup in the winter months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Going in to Supper= is arranged as far as possible on the following
+lines, if precedence does not prevent its being carried out. The players
+at each table who are partners when supper is served go in together. The
+host leads the way with his partner, and all follow, the hostess and her
+partner going last.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Cards should be left= within a week or ten days after a reception.
+
+A married lady should leave one of her own and two of her husband's
+cards.
+
+A widow should leave one of her own cards.
+
+A bachelor or widower should leave two of his cards. (See Chapter III.)
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVI
+
+WEDDINGS AND WEDDING LUNCHEONS
+
+
+=Afternoon Weddings= are invariably solemnized at 2.30 o'clock. Only
+very quiet weddings take place in the morning hours. Formerly, it was
+only the few who were in a position to obtain special licences who could
+have afternoon weddings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Marriage by "Banns"= is greatly in favour in general society. The banns
+must be published three consecutive weeks previous to the marriage in
+the parish in which the bridegroom resides, and also in that in which
+the bride resides, and both should reside fifteen days in their
+respective parishes previous to the banns being published.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Marriages by Licence.=--When a marriage is solemnised by licence the
+cost, with fees and stamps, amounts to L2. This should be obtained at
+the Faculty Office, or at the Vicar-General's Office, Doctors' Commons,
+and is available at any church in the parish where one of the parties
+has resided for fifteen days previous to the application being made for
+the licence, either in town or country.
+
+When the licence is obtained in the country through a clerical surrogate
+the cost varies, according to the diocese, from L1 15s. to L2 12s. 6d.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Special Licences= can only be obtained from the Archbishop of
+Canterbury, after application at the Faculty Office, and an especial
+reason must be given for the application, and one that will meet with
+the Archbishop's approval.
+
+The fees for a special marriage licence average L29 5s. 6d.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Fees= to the officiating clergymen vary considerably, according to
+the position and means of the bridegroom, from L1 1s. to L5 5s.
+as the inclination of the bridegroom may dictate.
+
+The fee to the verger is subject to a like variation, commencing at
+2s. 6d.
+
+All fees relating to a marriage should be defrayed by the bridegroom,
+and paid by him, or by the best man on his behalf, in the vestry of the
+church, previous to the ceremony; immediately after it, or some days
+earlier.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Etiquette observed at Weddings= is invariably the same whether the
+wedding takes place in the morning or in the afternoon, or whether it is
+a grand wedding or a comparatively small one, whether the guests number
+two hundred or whether they number twenty.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Invitations= should be issued from three weeks to a fortnight
+before the wedding-day.
+
+The wedding luncheon or wedding reception should be given by the parents
+of the bride or by her nearest relative, and the invitations should be
+issued in the names of both parents.
+
+The invitations should be issued in notes printed in ink; they are now
+seldom printed in silver. The form should be as follows: "Mr. and Mrs.
+---- request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. ----'s company at the marriage
+of their daughter Helen with Mr. John S----, at St. Peter's Church,
+Hanover Square, on Tuesday, May 8th, at 2.30 o'clock, and afterwards at
+---- Square. R.S.V.P."
+
+If a stepdaughter, it should be "at the marriage of Mrs. A----'s
+daughter Helen B----."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Wedding Presents.=--Every one who is invited to a wedding invariably
+makes the bride or bridegroom a present; it is the received rule to do
+so. Many send presents before the invitations are sent out--as soon as
+the engagement is made known, if it is not to be a long one.
+
+There is no rule as to the time before the wedding-day when the present
+should be sent; but invitations are usually sent to those who have given
+presents, even though they live at a considerable distance, and may not
+be able to attend the wedding.
+
+Wedding presents are displayed on tables of various sizes, according to
+their number, and if very numerous and valuable, it is not unusual to
+exhibit them at an afternoon tea, given for the purpose on the day
+previous to the wedding. Each present should bear the card of the giver
+attached to it. Presents of silver plate should be placed on a table
+covered with dark cloth or velvet. It is not unusual to surround the
+presents with flowers, notably roses, and this is often done by persons
+of artistic tastes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridegroom should provide= the wedding-ring and the bridal bouquet.
+
+The bouquets for the bridesmaids are also the gift of the bridegroom,
+and should be sent to them on the morning of the wedding. He is also
+expected to make a present to each bridesmaid--either a brooch, a
+locket, a bracelet, or a fan, which should either be sent the day before
+the wedding or on the morning of the wedding-day.
+
+The bridegroom should provide the motor-car to convey himself and his
+bride from the church to the house where the wedding luncheon and
+reception are to take place, and again from the house to the
+railway-station, or, if the journey is made by road, to the place of
+honeymoon; but frequently the bride's father places his own motor-car at
+the disposal of the bride and bridegroom for this purpose, especially in
+the country. The bridal carriage is the only one, according to
+etiquette, which the bridegroom is expected to provide.
+
+The invited guests should provide their own conveyances, and neither the
+bridegroom nor the bride's father are ever expected to do so. This
+should be thoroughly understood by the guests in every case.
+
+The custom of having groomsmen to support the bridegroom is now very
+general, as at royal weddings, a royal bridegroom being supported by
+from four to six groomsmen. Two of the groomsmen usually act as ushers
+and assist in seating the guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Best Man= should be a bachelor, although a married man could act in
+this capacity. He should either accompany the bridegroom to the church
+or meet him there. He should stand at his right hand during the
+ceremony--a little in the rear--and should render him the trifling
+service of handing him his hat at the close of it.
+
+He should sign the register afterwards in the vestry, and should pay the
+fees to the clergyman and to the verger, on behalf of the bridegroom,
+either before or after the ceremony, if the bridegroom does not pay them
+on arrival.
+
+The bridegroom and best man should arrive at the church before the
+bride, and await her coming, standing at the right-hand side of the
+chancel gates.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride= should be driven to the church in her father's motor-car. If
+she has a sister or sisters, and they officiate as bridesmaids, they,
+with her mother, should precede her to the church. The motor-car should
+then return to fetch the bride and her father; but when she has no
+sisters, her father generally precedes her to the church, and receives
+her at the church door, her mother accompanying her in the motor-car.
+
+The bridesmaids should arrive some little time before the bride, and
+form a line on either side of the church porch, or within the church
+doorway. The mother of the bride usually stands beside them.
+
+When the bride arrives she should take her father's right arm, or the
+right arm of her eldest brother or nearest male relative, who is deputed
+to give her away; he should meet her at the church door in the place of
+her father, and conduct her to the chancel or altar.
+
+At choral weddings the clergy and choir head the bridal procession and
+lead the way to the chancel, singing a hymn the while.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridesmaids= should follow the bride and her father up the nave of
+the church. When the number of bridesmaids is even, four, six, eight, or
+twelve; but when the number is odd, as five, seven, or nine, and three
+of them happen to be children, which is generally the case, the elder
+bridesmaids should walk "two and two," following next after the
+children.
+
+At fashionable weddings one or two little boys act as pages, and
+occasionally bear the bride's train.
+
+The head bridesmaid is generally the bride's eldest unmarried sister or
+the bridegroom's sister, and she should follow next to the bride with
+her companion bridesmaid, when children are not included in the group.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride's Mother= should follow next to the bridesmaids, and walk by
+the side of her son, or other male relative, in following them up the
+nave of the church. Ladies and gentlemen do not walk arm-in-arm at a
+wedding, but side by side.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride's Immediate Relatives= and the near relatives of the
+bridegroom should seat themselves in pews or chairs, according to the
+church in which the service is celebrated. In some churches the service
+takes place at the entrance of the chancel, and the bridal party enter
+the chancel and stand at the altar to receive the address, and the
+concluding portion of the service only is there celebrated.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridegroom's Relatives= should place themselves on entering at the
+right of the nave, thus being on the bridegroom's right hand, and seat
+themselves in pews. The relatives of the bride should place themselves
+on entering at the left of the nave, thus being on the bride's left
+hand, and seat themselves in pews or chairs. Large cards with the words
+"For the Relatives of the Bridegroom," "For the Relatives of the Bride,"
+are frequently placed in the pews to indicate where they are to sit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride= should stand at the bridegroom's left hand; the bride's
+father, or nearest male relative, should stand at her left hand, in
+order to give her away.
+
+The bridesmaids should stand immediately behind the bride in the order
+in which they pass up the church.
+
+The bride should take off her gloves at the commencement of the service
+and should give them with her bouquet to the head bridesmaid to hold.
+
+The invited guests should sit in the pews or chairs.
+
+Guests seldom take their prayer-books with them to the church to follow
+the service therefrom. The hymns sung are usually printed on leaflets,
+and placed in the pews or on the seats.
+
+The bridegroom generally wears a flower in his button-hole, as he does
+not wear a wedding favour.
+
+The other gentlemen may, as a matter of course, wear button-hole
+bouquets, if they please.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the Service is concluded=, the bride should take the bridegroom's
+left arm, and, preceded by the officiating clergyman, and followed by
+her head bridesmaids, father, mother, and the most distinguished of the
+guests, should enter the vestry, where the register should be signed by
+the bride and bridegroom, two or three of the nearest relatives, and by
+two or three of the most intimate of the friends, and principal of the
+guests, including the best man and the head bridesmaid. The bride's
+father should sign it, but it is optional whether the bride's mother
+does so or not.
+
+When the register has been signed, and those in the vestry have shaken
+hands with the bride and offered their congratulations, the bride should
+take the bridegroom's left arm and pass down the nave of the church
+followed by her bridesmaids, in the same order as they have previously
+passed up the nave.
+
+The bride and bridegroom usually leave the church without pausing to
+shake hands with many of their friends present if a reception is to
+follow.
+
+When the bride and bridegroom have driven off from the church, the
+bride's mother should be the next to follow, that she may be at home to
+receive the guests as they arrive. There is no precedence as to the
+order in which the remainder of the company leave the church; it
+entirely depends on the cleverness of their servants in getting up their
+motor-cars.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Button-hole Bouquets= of natural flowers have entirely superseded the
+old-fashioned wedding favours for both ladies and gentlemen, and are
+sometimes offered to the guests before they leave their seats at the
+conclusion of the ceremony, but not invariably so. Button-hole bouquets
+should be worn on the left side, by both ladies and gentlemen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Bride who is a Widow= should not wear a bridal veil, nor a wreath of
+orange-blossoms, nor orange-blossom on her dress.
+
+She should not be attended by bridesmaids, and wedding favours should
+not be worn by the guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=How the Invitations to the Wedding Reception of a Widow= should be
+issued depends upon individual circumstances. For instance, if a young
+widow resides with her parents, the invitations should be issued in
+their names as at her first marriage, and the form of invitation should
+be similar, save that the words "Their daughter, Mrs. A., widow of Mr.
+A." should be substituted for her christian name. If, as is very
+frequently the case, a widow resides in her own house, or if the
+marriage is to take place from an hotel, the invitations should be
+issued in her own name, and the form should be "Mrs. Cecil A. requests
+the pleasure (or the honour) of Mr. and Mrs. B.'s company at her
+marriage with Mr. Henry C., at St. George's Church on Tuesday, December
+30th, at 2.30 o'clock, and afterwards at Eaton Gardens, R.S.V.P." "The
+presence of" instead of "the company of" may be put if preferred.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is understood that a Widow should not have Bridesmaids=, but it is
+open to her to have the attendance of pages, if a wedding is to be a
+fashionable and smart one, although many ladies do not avail themselves
+of this privilege. The bridegroom should have a best man, as a matter of
+course; he may be the bride's brother if desired (the idea that this is
+not permitted is an erroneous one). A married man might be asked to act
+in the capacity of best man, there being no bridesmaids to require his
+attention, although this is seldom done, and a bachelor brother or
+friend is preferred.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Widow may be given away= by her father, uncle, brother, or even by a
+friend; indeed, it is more usual to have this support than not. At a
+first marriage "to be given away" is imperative, at a second it is
+optional; and if a widow at a quiet wedding prefers not to follow this
+custom she can do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Much Uncertainty exists as to whether a Widow should or should not
+continue to wear her First Wedding Ring= when she marries a second time.
+In point of fact there is no hard and fast rule with regard to it, and a
+widow may continue or not continue to wear it, as she feels inclined. If
+she has children, and has had some years of married life, she usually
+retains it. If she is a young widow, she is likely to remove it, and
+wear the second ring only; but when this is her intention, she should
+not cease to wear it until she has arrived at the church, and has taken
+off her gloves previous to the ceremony; but, take it all in all, it is
+more usual to wear the two wedding rings than the second one only.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Formerly, Widows considered it Imperative to be married in Widow's
+Colours=, grey or mauve, and that white was forbidden wear; but it is no
+longer so regarded, and a widow may and does wear white or cream on her
+wedding-day--not exactly a maiden bridal dress, as a tinge of colour is
+introduced. The larger number still regard pale grey or pale heliotrope
+as more suitable on the occasion of a second marriage, and doubtless
+this is so when a widow is not in her first youth. A widow may not, of
+course, wear a bridal veil; she must wear a hat or toque, white or
+coloured, as she pleases. She can have a bouquet, not of white flowers
+only, but mauve or pink, or violets, according to choice. It is quite
+permissible to have a full choral service, and for the church in which
+the ceremony is performed to be decorated with plants and flowers, but
+wedding favours should not be given to the guests at its conclusion.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Widow has a reception the Newly Married Pair should receive
+their Guests= standing together. The bride's mother, or near relative,
+could assist them in receiving. If a luncheon is to be given, they
+should lead the way to the dining-room, and sit at the head of the
+table, side by side; but if a reception tea is given, the guests might
+be sent in at the tea hour--that is to say, told that tea is going on,
+and the bride and bridegroom could follow later should the numbers be
+too great to admit of all going into the tea room at the same time.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is quite in Order for a Widow to have a Wedding Cake=, but it should
+not be decorated with orange blossoms or with white flowers, merely with
+icing and ornamentations. The display of presents at the marriage of a
+widow is, as a rule, a very restricted one. The bridegroom and the
+bridegroom's family being the principal donors, the presents are seldom
+exhibited. The exception is when a widow has made many new friends, and
+has received wedding presents from them. Presents, when made to a widow
+having a house of her own, are expected to be of substantial value, and
+there is a general reluctance felt to offering her trifles, even if
+expensive ones, such as a girl-bride would appreciate; not so a married
+lady of social standing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=On arriving at the House= where the wedding luncheon or reception is to
+be held, the gentlemen should leave their hats in the hall. The ladies
+should not remove their bonnets or hats at a wedding luncheon or
+reception, neither should the bridesmaids do so.
+
+Gentlemen should take off their gloves at wedding luncheons, but it is
+optional whether ladies do so or not.
+
+At receptions it is optional with both ladies and gentlemen whether they
+take off their gloves or not.
+
+The guests who have not already had an opportunity of speaking to the
+bride and bridegroom, on being ushered into the drawing-room, where the
+company assembles, should shake hands with them, having first gone
+through that ceremony with the host and hostess, if they have not
+already done so.
+
+Previous to luncheon being announced the bride's father or mother should
+tell the principal of the gentlemen present whom to take down to
+luncheon. But this only applies to a sit-down luncheon.
+
+At standing-up luncheons the guests are not sent in in couples, but go
+in as they please, even two or three ladies together, and little or no
+precedency, bridal or otherwise, is followed as a general rule.
+
+The luncheon should be served in the dining-room, library, or large
+marquee, as the case may be.
+
+The bride's mother and the bridegroom's mother should take precedence of
+all other ladies present on the occasion of a wedding luncheon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At strictly Family Gatherings the Guests should go in to Luncheon in
+the following order:=--The bride and bridegroom. The bride's father with
+the bridegroom's mother. The bridegroom's father with the bride's
+mother. The best man with the head bridesmaid. The remaining bridesmaids
+with the gentlemen who are to take them in to luncheon.
+
+The rest of the company should follow in the wake of the bridesmaids.
+The bride should take the bridegroom's left arm.
+
+Sitting-down luncheons and standing-up luncheons are equally
+fashionable, although the latter are far more general, and little or no
+bridal precedency is observed. When a standing-up luncheon is given,
+small tables are arranged for the convenience of the bridal party on one
+side of the room, while a long table occupies the centre of the room.
+
+When a sitting-down luncheon is given the bride and bridegroom should
+sit either at the head of a long table or at the centre of it--the bride
+at the bridegroom's left hand. The bride's father should sit next the
+bride with the bridegroom's mother. When the bride and bridegroom sit
+at the centre of the table the bridesmaids should sit opposite to them
+with the gentlemen who have taken them in to luncheon; each sitting at a
+gentleman's right hand.
+
+When the bride and bridegroom occupy the head of the table, the
+bridesmaids, with the gentlemen who have taken them in to luncheon,
+should place themselves next the parents on either side of the table,
+dividing their number into two groups.
+
+When the bride's father is dead, her eldest brother or nearest male
+relative should take his place and should take the bridegroom's mother
+in to luncheon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Wedding Breakfast= is now termed a luncheon, champagne and other
+wines take the place of tea and coffee, which beverages are not served
+until towards the end of the luncheon. At weddings which take place
+at 2.30 p.m., a luncheon is frequently given at 3, followed by a
+"tea" at 4.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Luncheon Menu= generally comprises soup, entrees both hot and cold;
+chickens, game, mayonnaises, salads, jellies, creams, etc., etc., and
+other dishes of a like character.
+
+The sweets should be placed on the table, fruit also.
+
+The entrees, etc., should be handed by the servants, the sweets should
+also be taken off the table by the men-servants and handed round in
+turn.
+
+At a standing-up luncheon the gentlemen should help the ladies and
+themselves to the various dishes on the table, as dishes are not handed
+at this description of luncheon; hot entrees and soup are not given. The
+menu is in other respects similar.
+
+The tables should be decorated with flowers at either a standing-up or a
+sitting-down luncheon. Bottles of champagne should be placed the length
+of the table at a standing-up luncheon; if not, the gentlemen should ask
+the servants in attendance for champagne for the ladies they have taken
+down, and for themselves. At a sitting-down luncheon the servants offer
+champagne to the guests in the same order in which they hand the dishes.
+
+When the sweets have been handed the bride should cut the wedding-cake.
+This she does by merely making the first incision with a knife; it
+should then be cut by the butler into small slices, and handed on
+dessert plates to the guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Health of the Bride and Bridegroom= should then be proposed by the
+most distinguished guest present, for which the bridegroom should return
+thanks. He should then propose the health of the bridesmaids, for which
+the best man should return thanks.
+
+Occasionally the gentleman of highest rank present also proposes this
+health in place of the bridegroom.
+
+The health of the bride's father and mother should be proposed by the
+bridegroom's father.
+
+It is now the custom to confine proposing healths at wedding luncheons
+within the narrowest limits. The health of the bride and bridegroom, and
+that of the bridesmaids being, in general, the only healths proposed.
+
+At standing-up luncheons and at wedding receptions, the health of the
+bride and bridegroom only is proposed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride should leave the Dining-room= immediately after the healths
+have been drunk, to change her dress for departure.
+
+The head bridesmaid should accompany her, if related to her, and the
+guests should adjourn to the drawing-room to await the bride's
+reappearance, which should not be long delayed, and the adieus should
+then be made. Leave-takings should not be prolonged more than is
+absolutely necessary.
+
+The parents should follow the bride and bridegroom into the hall, and
+adieus to them should there be made.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Old-fashioned Custom= of throwing satin slippers after the bride is
+sometimes observed, foolish as it is. It is the best man's or the head
+bridesmaid's privilege to perform this ridiculous act.
+
+When rice is thrown after a bride it should be scattered by the married
+and not by the unmarried ladies present; but the custom, like that
+of throwing the so-called "confetti," is now practically obsolete in
+good society.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Strewing the Bride's Path with Flowers= from the church to the carriage
+by village children is a custom much followed at weddings which take
+place in the country.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Honeymoon= now seldom lasts longer than a week or ten days. Many
+brides prefer spending their honeymoon in their future home, if it
+happens to be in the country, instead of making a hurried trip to Paris
+or elsewhere, or to spending it at the country house of a friend, lent
+to them for the purpose. But it is entirely a matter of individual
+feeling which course is taken.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride's Trousseau= should be marked with the initials of the name
+she is to take.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridegroom should provide= the house-linen and all other things
+appertaining to the bride's new home.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Wedding Presents= should be dispatched to the bride's residence
+immediately after the wedding, and they should at once be put into their
+several places, and not arranged for the purpose of being shown to
+visitors.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridal Wreath= should not be worn after the wedding-day. The bridal
+wreath, the bridal bouquet, and the orange blossoms from the
+wedding-cake, if treasured as mementos of the happy event, should be
+preserved in the recesses of a locked drawer in the bride's chamber, and
+not exhibited under glass shades in the drawing-room.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Precedence= should not be accorded to a bride during the first three
+months after marriage, although this old-fashioned custom is sometimes
+followed at country dinner-parties on the occasion of a bride's first
+visit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Custom of sending Wedding Cake= to friends is an exploded one, and
+only followed between near relations.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Wedding Cards= are, strictly speaking, out of date, and only sent by
+people who adhere to old-fashioned customs.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Words "No Cards"= should not be inserted when the announcement of a
+marriage is sent to the newspapers; neither should the intimation be
+added that the bride and bridegroom will be "at home" on certain days.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVII
+
+WEDDING RECEPTIONS
+
+
+=An Afternoon Wedding= usually takes place between 2 and 2.30 o'clock,
+and the "reception" that follows is given from 2.30 to 5, on the return
+from the church.
+
+When a wedding is a choral one the choir and clergy frequently head the
+bridal procession. This is arranged with the vicar of the church where
+the marriage is solemnized.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations= to wedding receptions are no longer issued on "at home"
+cards, but are included in the invitations to the wedding ceremony
+issued in printed notes. (See Chapter XVI.)
+
+The arrangements in the tea-room, and the refreshments given, should be
+similar to those provided at large afternoon "at homes," with the
+addition of wedding-cake and champagne.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ceremony= is, as far as possible, dispensed with as regards sending the
+guests into the tea-room, and this is a great advantage gained over a
+wedding luncheon, either a sitting-down or a standing-up one, when
+people are doubtful as to the exact place belonging to each individual
+relative.
+
+The bride and bridegroom either enter first, followed by the bridesmaids
+and a few of the principal guests, or they follow later, as they prefer.
+The remainder of the company should make their way downstairs as space
+permits, for a wedding reception is a crowded affair, even in the
+largest of mansions. Not only is every one invited who has given a
+wedding present to either bride or bridegroom, within visiting distance,
+but even others who are not intimate enough to be expected to do so.
+
+The guests should not make their way in the first instance to the
+tea-room, but should proceed at once to the drawing-room and shake hands
+with the host and hostess, and afterwards with the bride and bridegroom.
+The bride and bridegroom should stand together within the drawing-room
+and shake hands with all those with whom they are acquainted. The bride
+and bridegroom should be the first to enter the tea-room. Flowers, as a
+matter of course, are a great feature at wedding receptions.
+
+The tea and coffee should be served by the maid-servants, generally by
+the lady's maids, but men-servants should also be in attendance to open
+the champagne as required. Very little wine is drunk at this hour of the
+day. Ladies seldom care for it, and gentlemen avoid it on principle.
+Still, out of compliment to the bride, the relatives quaff a cup of
+sparkling wine, although her health is seldom proposed or speeches of
+any kind made. The bride should put the knife into the wedding-cake, and
+the butler should cut it up and hand it to the guests.
+
+Seats should not be placed in the tea-room, and the tables should occupy
+the top or side, or both the top and side, of the room, according to the
+number of guests invited, so as to leave as much space as possible in
+the centre of the room.
+
+The bride and bridegroom are not always present at a wedding tea, as the
+departure for the proposed place of honeymoon does not in every case
+admit of it, and the mother holds the "at home," and the guests inspect
+the presents after the newly-married couple have left.
+
+An "at home" is sometimes given a few days previous to the wedding for
+the inspection of the presents, if they are very numerous and beautiful;
+but even when this is done they still form a centre of interest on the
+afternoon of the wedding to the many guests. When jewellery and plate
+to any great extent form a portion of the presents, it is sometimes
+thought necessary to have a policeman on duty while the house is open to
+so many comers, and when to effect an entrance under the pretext of
+business would be an easy matter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XVIII
+
+WEDDING EXPENSES
+
+
+=The Responsibilities of a Bridegroom= from a pecuniary point of view
+commence from the moment of his engagement. He must at once present the
+bride-elect with an engagement ring. A man of even moderate wealth finds
+no difficulty in choosing and purchasing a handsome ring costing from
+L50 to L100; but a poor man, possessing but a small income, is often
+put to more expense than he can conveniently afford in the matter of an
+engagement ring. He knows all the members of the bride's family will sit
+in judgment upon it if it is but a modest gift worth about L10, which
+is quite as much as he feels he is justified in spending; he knows that
+both it and himself will be regarded as very mean, or as conveying a not
+very inspiriting prospect of days to come. The engagement ring worn on
+the bride's finger after marriage is a lasting memento, and if a poor
+one she will not be proud of it--neither will he. Rich men take the
+brides to choose engagement rings, expense being no object to them; but
+poor men cannot do this, as the choice might fall on gems beyond their
+means, therefore they make the choice themselves, according to the
+position of the families they are about to enter. If the standing is
+above their own, from a money point of view, the engagement rings have
+to be chosen in accordance with the jewels worn by members of such
+families, and a bridegroom would thus spend L40 at least on an
+engagement ring suitable to a lady so placed. On the other hand, when
+men with small incomes marry the daughters of parents of a similar
+position to their own, the engagement rings given are not costly ones,
+and a ten-pound note, or even less, would cover the cost of these
+binding tokens. The wedding rings are within the means of all
+bridegrooms, be they ever so poor.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=During the Engagement= the question of presents to the brides-elect is
+never absent from the thoughts of their bridegrooms. The wealthy please
+themselves and their brides by giving costly jewels, which are often
+chosen by the brides themselves in company with their bridegrooms. This
+is very delightful shopping, but it does not fall to the lot of the
+great majority. Men of moderate means give presents of moderate value
+and few in number; they are not bound by etiquette during their
+engagements to give any jewellery if their incomes do not warrant this
+outlay; but a man must have very little money to go upon if he cannot
+contrive to give a bracelet or necklet or some such trinket to the girl
+he is about to marry.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=To give Presents to the Bridesmaids= is another of the obligations of
+bridegrooms. Here again, the wealthy exercise their generosity and good
+taste with the concurrence of their brides, who assist them in the
+choice of suitable presents in articles of jewellery. These average L5
+and upwards for each bridesmaid, which bring it to a good total when the
+bridesmaids are numerous. The point that affects the generosity of
+bridegrooms, however, is not how much they ought to spend on these
+presents, but rather, how little may be spent upon them with due
+consideration for the fitness of things, viz. the position of the
+bridesmaids. Two sovereigns would be a reasonable sum for a man of small
+means to spend on each gift to the bridesmaid.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridal Bouquet and the Bridesmaids' Bouquets= come next on the list
+of expenses a bridegroom defrays. Rich men spend liberally in this
+direction, but average sums to give to meet ordinary incomes are two
+guineas to one guinea for a bride's bouquet, and five and twenty to
+fifteen shillings each for the bridesmaids' bouquets.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Fees connected with the Ceremony= are strictly the province of the
+bridegroom to defray. If a marriage is by licence, he pays the cost,
+which in town amounts to L2 2s. 6d., and in the country from L2
+12s. 6d. to L3 3s. The fee to the vicar of the church where the
+marriage is to be solemnised varies from L1 1s. to L5 5s.,
+oftener L1 1s. than not with the majority of bridegrooms with
+moderate incomes, the exception being L5 5s. The minor fees are very
+trifling that a bridegroom is expected to pay. He pays the organist for
+playing a wedding march at the conclusion of the service, if it is not a
+choral one; the bell-ringers look to him for their fee, as do the
+vergers, etc. Thus a bridegroom pays for what is absolutely necessary at
+the marriage ceremony only, and very little besides.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a Friend of the Bride or Bridegroom performs the Ceremony= or
+assists at it a fee is not given to him by the bridegroom, but a present
+of some kind is made to him, either in silver plate or by a small
+cheque, as circumstances dictate, for railway expenses or otherwise. It
+is usual for the bridegroom to do this unless the clergyman in question
+is a relative of the bride, when a joint present is usually given by
+bride and bridegroom.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bride's Parents bear a Large Share of the Wedding Expenses=,
+foremost of which is the bride's trousseau, the cost of this being
+entirely dependent on position and income. The dinners and "at homes"
+given before the marriage to introduce the bridegroom to the members of
+the bride's family are given by the bride's parents. The wedding
+reception is given by them, either at their own residence or at an
+hotel. As concerns their share of the expenses connected with the
+ceremony, it depends upon whether the wedding is to be a smart one or a
+quiet one. If the former, the expenses that fall to them are somewhat
+considerable; if the latter, they are almost nil. A choral service, for
+instance, is paid for by the bride's parents, the organist, choirmaster,
+and choir all being severally paid by them. If the hymns sung are
+printed on leaflets this trifling expense also is included. All floral
+decorations are paid for by the bride's parents, as is the hire of the
+awning and the red felt at the church doors. When wedding favours or
+buttonholes are given it is by them also.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For whom the Bride's Family are expected to provide Conveyances is
+invariably a Misunderstood Detail.=--The bride's father has only to
+provide carriages or cars to convey himself and bride to the church, and
+for those members of his family residing under his roof, and for
+visitors staying with him for the wedding. He is not required to provide
+them for any other of the guests, save in the country, and then only for
+those who arrive by train at a roadside station and cannot obtain
+conveyances for themselves. In town the bridegroom has to provide the
+motor-car to convey himself and bride from the church to her father's
+house, and afterwards to the station. In the country the reverse is the
+case, and the bride's father does this by lending one of his own
+carriages or cars for the purpose.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Bridegroom is expected to provide the Furniture= and all household
+effects for the new home, including plate and linen, which latter
+naturally form very important items. Many of the bridal presents,
+however are made to lighten these expenses, and consist of plate to a
+great extent, and occasionally of linen also, from the members of the
+bride's family; still, the rule in England is that the bridegroom should
+provide it as part of the necessaries of the home, and the gift of it by
+relatives is altogether optional.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIX
+
+AFTERNOON "AT HOMES"
+
+
+=Afternoon "At Homes"= are a great feature amongst the entertainments of
+the day, large afternoon parties, and small afternoon parties; parties
+so large that the number of guests equals those at a big crush or
+evening reception, and so small that they might fairly come under the
+denomination of afternoon teas.
+
+At afternoon "at homes," ladies are present in a considerable majority,
+there being usually from about ten gentlemen to thirty ladies on an
+average present at these gatherings. Ladies have a decided partiality
+for this class of entertainment, as it affords an opportunity for
+meeting their friends and acquaintances, or for making new
+acquaintances, and for forming future plans and interchanging
+civilities; and even in the height of the London season, afternoon "at
+homes" are fully attended by the members of the fashionable world.
+
+There are various classes of afternoon "at homes": the large "at home"
+of from fifty to two hundred guests, when usually professional vocal and
+instrumental talent is engaged, and fairly good music given, although
+the entertainment is not of sufficient importance to be termed a
+concert; the "at home" of from fifty to a hundred guests when only
+amateur talent is in requisition; and the small "at home" of from ten to
+thirty people, when conversation usually takes the place of music, the
+party being composed of friends rather than of acquaintances.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to "At Homes"= should be issued in the name of the
+hostess only, and not in the united names of the master and mistress
+of the house.
+
+Invitations should be issued on "at home" cards, large and small, and
+also on visiting cards. The name of the person invited should be written
+at the top of the card at the right-hand corner, the words "at home"
+being printed beneath the name of the lady issuing the invitation, and
+the day and date beneath the words "at home," and the hour beneath the
+date. Any amusement to be given should be added at the bottom of the
+card at the left-hand corner. The address should be printed at the
+right-hand corner at the bottom of the card.
+
+The letters R.S.V.P. are occasionally either written or printed on the
+"at home" card, at the left-hand corner of the bottom of the card, but
+it is not usual to write "R.S.V.P." in the corner of an afternoon "at
+home" card, as it is immaterial how many guests are present at this
+class of entertainment; but if an answer is so requested, an answer
+should be sent. R.S.V.P. signifies "_repondez, s'il vous plait_," or "an
+answer is requested."
+
+It is customary to include the head of the family, either husband or
+father, in the invitation. Thus, at the top of the card, at the
+right-hand corner should be written "Mr. and Mrs. A.," or "Mr. and Miss
+A." The daughters of the house should be included in the invitation sent
+to their mother. Thus "Mr. and Mrs. A.," "The Misses A.," but the sons
+of the house should be invited separately.
+
+When a family consists of a mother and daughters, the invitation should
+be "Mrs. and the Misses A."
+
+The title of "Honourable" should not be put on an invitation card, but
+only on the envelope containing the card.
+
+All other titles are recognised on invitation cards; but the letters
+K.C.B., M.P., etc., should not be written on the cards, but only on the
+envelopes in which they are enclosed.
+
+If a lady is aware that she will be unable to be present, it would be
+polite to send her excuses, although strict etiquette does not demand
+it; both the invitation and the answer can in all cases be sent by post.
+
+It is not now considered necessary to leave cards after afternoon
+"at homes."
+
+Invitations to large afternoon "at homes" should be issued a fortnight
+previous to the day, and to small "at homes" within a week or so of
+the day.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Arrival of Guests.=--When invited guests arrive, they should not
+inquire if the hostess is at home, but at once enter the house; and they
+should be ushered at once into the tea-room.
+
+The gentlemen should leave their hats and overcoats in the hall.
+
+At large "at homes" a cloak-room should be provided, so that a lady
+could remove a cloak or fur-cape, usually worn during the winter
+weather; but at small "at homes" a cloak-room is not necessary, as the
+reception-rooms are neither so crowded nor so warm, neither are the
+ladies' toilettes so elaborate.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Refreshments.=--At large "at homes" refreshments should be served in
+the dining-room, on a long buffet at one end of the room, or on a long
+table the length of the room.
+
+The lady's-maids and other maid-servants should stand behind the table
+to pour out and hand the cups of tea or coffee across the table as
+asked for.
+
+It is usual to have women-servants on these occasions to pour out the
+tea, a man-servant or men-servants being also in attendance, in case
+anything is required of them, although gentlemen usually help themselves
+to claret-cup, wine, etc.
+
+The usual refreshments given at these "at homes" are tea and coffee,
+the latter served from large silver urns. (See chapter "Preparing
+Afternoon Tea," in the work entitled "Waiting at Table.") Sherry,
+champagne-cup, claret-cup, ices, fruit, fancy biscuits and cakes, thin
+bread-and-butter, potted game, sandwiches, etc.
+
+Ice plates are used for ices, dessert plates for fruit and fruit salads.
+
+At small "at homes" champagne, claret-cup, and ices are not given. The
+tea should be made in teapots, instead of in urns, at both large and
+small "at homes."
+
+At small "at homes" the tea is usually served in the smaller of the two
+drawing-rooms, or in an adjoining boudoir or ante-room. The tea is then
+poured out by the young ladies of the house, or by the hostess herself,
+but seldom by maid-servants when served in the drawing-room.
+
+The most convenient manner, however, of serving tea is to serve it in
+the dining-room, unless the number of guests is limited, when it would
+appear unsociable if they were to congregate in the dining-room, leaving
+the hostess comparatively alone in the drawing-room.
+
+When tea is served in the dining-room, the guests are usually asked by
+the servant in attendance if they will have tea before being ushered
+into the drawing-room.
+
+At small teas, the cups of tea should be handed to the ladies by the
+gentlemen present, or by the young lady officiating at the tea-table,
+and gentlemen generally stand about the room, or near the tea-table, at
+small "at homes."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Receiving Guests.=--The servant should precede the guests to the
+drawing-room as in "morning calls."
+
+At large "at homes" the hostess should receive her guests at the
+drawing-room door, and shake hands with each on arrival. The
+drawing-room door should remain open, and she should stand within the
+doorway.
+
+At small teas, the drawing-room door should not remain open, and the
+hostess should receive her guests within the room, as at "morning
+calls."
+
+The guests should arrive from a quarter-past four until half-past five
+or six o'clock. The guests are not expected to remain the whole three
+hours specified, and are at liberty to remain as long or as short a time
+as they please. The earliest arrivals are generally the first to leave.
+
+When the hostess judges it expedient to do so, she introduces one or two
+of the ladies to each other, either in a formal manner (see Chapter
+II.), or in a semi-formal manner, by saying, "Mrs. A., I don't think you
+know Mrs. B."; but she should not say this unless quite certain that
+Mrs. B. desires the acquaintance of Mrs. A., or that Mrs. A. has no
+objection to knowing Mrs. B.[5]
+
+It is rather the exception than the rule to make general introductions
+on these occasions. Introductions should only be made when the hostess
+is aware that the persons introduced would be likely to appreciate each
+other, or for any reason of equal weight.
+
+The guests should go to the tea-room with any gentlemen of their
+acquaintance present, or in the case of ladies with each other, if they
+have not done so on arrival.
+
+This move to the tea-room is usually made in the intervals between
+music, recitations, etc.
+
+Occasionally, the hostess introduces one or two of the gentlemen present
+to the ladies of highest rank for the purpose of sending them into the
+tea-room.
+
+A lady should place her empty cup on any table near at hand, unless a
+gentleman offers to put it down for her. It is optional whether a lady
+removes her gloves or not, and many prefer not to do so.
+
+At large "at homes," the hostess remains at her post the whole of the
+time, and hardly ever sits down. At small "at homes," she should move
+amongst her guests, conversing with them all more or less. When there
+are daughters, they should assist their mother in entertaining the
+guests.
+
+When ladies are acquainted, they should take an opportunity of speaking
+to each other. It is usual for ladies to move about the rooms at
+afternoon "at homes" to speak to their various friends and
+acquaintances; and they are by no means obliged to remain seated in one
+spot unless desirous of doing so.
+
+When music is given at afternoon "at homes," it is usual to listen to
+the performance, or at least to appear to do so; and if conversation is
+carried on, it should be in a low tone, so as not to disturb or annoy
+the performers.
+
+It is not necessary to take leave of the hostess at afternoon "at
+homes," unless she is standing near the drawing-room door when the guest
+is passing out, or unless she is a new acquaintance, and the visit a
+first one at her house, when it would be polite to do so.
+
+When it is late, and but a few guests still remain, these few should
+make their adieus to the hostess.
+
+At these afternoon teas or "at homes," the hostess should not ring to
+order the door to be opened for the departing guest or for her motor-car
+to be called, as at "morning calls." The guests make their way to the
+hall, and the servants in attendance call up the motor-cars as they are
+asked for.
+
+Motor-cars should always be kept in waiting at afternoon "at homes," as
+ladies are sometimes unable to remain longer than a quarter of an hour.
+
+The guests either remain in the hall or in the dining-room until they
+hear their motor-cars are announced.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gratuities= should never be offered to servants at these
+entertainments, or, in fact, at any entertainment whatever.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Afternoon Concerts.=--When afternoon concerts are given, invitations
+should be issued on the usual "at home" cards, which can be purchased
+with the words "at home," etc., already printed, or they are printed to
+order, with the name and address of the hostess. The name of the person
+invited should be written above the name of the hostess at the
+right-hand corner of the card.
+
+The date under the line "at home" should be in the centre of the card
+beneath the name of the hostess; the hour should be written at the
+left-hand corner, and the letters R.S.V.P. The printed address should be
+at the right-hand corner.
+
+The names of the performers should be added at the bottom of the card at
+the right-hand corner.
+
+The hour usually fixed for a concert is 3 o'clock.
+
+The hostess should receive her guests at the drawing-room door, when
+they should at once seat themselves. The seats should be arranged in
+rows down the centre of the room, and sofas and settees should be placed
+around the room.
+
+The programme of a concert is divided into two parts, and at the
+conclusion of the first part the guests should repair to the dining-room
+for refreshments, which are served as at large "at homes."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Afternoon Dances.=--Invitations to afternoon dances should be issued on
+"at home" cards in the manner already described. "Dancing" should be
+printed in the corner of cards, and the hour of "4 to 7" o'clock
+substituted for that of "3" o'clock. The words "afternoon dance" should
+not be written on an invitation card, and there is no other received
+form of invitation for afternoon dances than the one already given.
+
+Afternoon dances are very popular at watering-places, military stations,
+small towns in the vicinity of London, etc., but are seldom given in
+London itself.
+
+Refreshments should be served during the whole of the afternoon, from 4
+to 7, as at large "at homes."
+
+The ladies should remove their jackets or wraps in the cloak-room, but
+retain their hats or bonnets; the hostess should receive her guests at
+the drawing-room door, as at an afternoon "at home."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Bridge Teas= occupy an important place in social life. They are a
+convenient form of entertainment, as they allow of a small number of
+guests being invited, even as few as eight persons being considered a
+reasonable number of players to invite, while twenty-four is distinctly
+an outside one. The average number is in most instances sixteen,
+all told.
+
+The play usually commences at 3.30, sometimes earlier, and continues
+until 7.30, allowing an interval for "tea" at 4.30.
+
+The invitations to these informal gatherings are either issued in
+friendly notes or on visiting cards. If on the latter, the words "at
+home," day, and date are written under the name of the hostess, while
+"Bridge, 3.30," or "3 o'clock" is put in the corner of the cards
+opposite the address.
+
+The hostess arranges beforehand the places the guests are to occupy at
+the different tables; this is done that the good players may play
+together. When all have arrived, the hostess tells her guests where to
+sit, and is herself one of the players. On taking their seats they cut
+for partners. She does not invite guests to look on, as it would
+necessitate her not playing, but talking to them while they remain;
+besides conversation is discouraged, as it distracts the attention of
+the players from the game.
+
+The ladies retain their hats, but remove their coats, furs, etc.,
+on arrival.
+
+
+FOOTNOTES:
+
+[5] See chapter "Conversing with New Acquaintances," in the work
+entitled "The Art of Conversing."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XX
+
+"AT HOME" DAYS
+
+
+=An "At Home"= day signifies that a lady is at home to her friends and
+acquaintances on one particular day in the week. She should intimate
+this fact by printing upon her visiting cards the days on which she is
+at home. Thus: "Thursdays in March," or "Thursdays in March and April,"
+or any day of the week she thinks proper to name. These cards she should
+leave in person on those who are not at home when she calls, or they can
+be sent by post. Those she finds at home she should inform that her "at
+home" day is "Thursday." She should not leave her visiting card in this
+case, only two of her husband's cards, and the "at home" day should not
+be written upon them.
+
+On the "at home" day, calls should be made from three to six, or from
+four to six. The first comers should leave before the afternoon tea hour
+and should limit their call according to the degree of intimacy
+existing, remaining from a quarter of an hour to an hour, as the
+case may be.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Hostess or her Daughter should pour out the Tea= on these "at home"
+days when tea is not served in the dining-room as at "at homes," which
+should be done when the number of visitors is very considerable.
+
+The popularity of a hostess is tested on these "at home" days by the
+number of visitors who call during the afternoon, and when "at home"
+days are not a success, socially speaking, she should discontinue them
+after a certain time, and should substitute an occasional "at home."
+
+It depends not a little on the social standing of the lady who has an
+"at home" day and upon the locality in which she lives, as to whether
+the "at home" day is a failure or the reverse. In the outlying districts
+of town it has its advantages, when to make a call amounts to almost a
+journey, and when acquaintances are few in the immediate neighbourhood.
+Again, it has its advantages when ladies are much occupied during the
+week, and when their time is given up to an engrossing occupation,
+charitable or artistic, at home or away from home, literary or
+scientific, at studios, museums and public institutions, etc., work
+undertaken for their own amusement, profit, or advancement, or for the
+benefit of others. To these ladies an "at home" day is a convenience.
+One day in the week is all they can allow themselves apart from their
+important engagements, and to them quiet privacy and leisure are
+indispensable. Fashionable ladies consider an "at home" day to be a
+great tax upon their time and inclinations. Their engagements are too
+numerous to admit of giving up one whole afternoon in every week on the
+chance of people calling. Not only longstanding but impromptu
+engagements preclude this sacrifice. It would be a breach of politeness
+not to be at home to callers on an "at home" day, and many things might
+occur to necessitate absence from home on that particular afternoon. If,
+however, absence is unavoidable, a relative might take the place of the
+hostess on the "at home" day in question.
+
+The people who thoroughly enjoy "at home" days are those who have more
+time on their hands than they know what to do with. The few calls they
+have to make are soon made, the few friends they have to see are soon
+seen, occupation they have none, and they are grateful for the
+opportunity "at home" days offer of meeting their friends and finding a
+hostess at home.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXI
+
+COLONIAL ETIQUETTE
+
+
+Generally speaking, etiquette is followed in the colonies and in India
+by English men and women very much as in the mother country as regards
+its principles, rules, and observances. One marked difference occurs in
+the hours of calling, it is true, they being regulated by climate. In
+hot climates, the early morning hours, before noon, and late evening
+hours, after sunset, are, according to the fashion of the place, the
+chosen hours for calling; but in more temperate climes--resembling our
+own--the afternoon hours are, as with us, the hours for calling. Again,
+the rule that residents should call upon new-comers, whether they be
+visitors of other residents or intending residents, holds equally good
+both in civilian and military circles alike.
+
+In all colonies and dependencies "Government House" is the centre to
+which all society gravitates--that is to say, that all new-comers,
+whether they are to become permanent or temporary residents, providing
+their social position warrants the action, hasten to make known their
+arrival by writing their names and addresses in the visitors' book kept
+at each Government House for the purpose. The object of doing this is to
+be received at Government House, and thus to obtain an entrance into the
+society of the place. What follows upon this social observance--it
+hardly merits the name of civility, such calls being actuated by
+self-interest in the first instance--depends upon a variety of
+circumstances, the position of the caller, and whether the stay is to be
+permanent or temporary, whether introductions are brought or not, and so
+on. The invitations extended to them are regulated accordingly. They may
+be limited to afternoon "at homes"; or receptions, dinners, and dances
+may be included; or a visit to the summer residence of the Governor and
+his wife may also be reckoned amongst invitations, as this latter is not
+an unusual display of hospitality accorded to certain individuals.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=How the Governor of a Colony should be addressed= by his guests depends
+upon his rank. As he represents the sovereign, it would be quite correct
+to address him as "Sir," as being the most deferential mode, and
+Governors as a body rather like to be thus addressed. In the case of a
+Governor being a knight--a very usual contingency--it would be equally
+correct to address him as "Sir George," and not as "Sir." When a
+Governor has not received knighthood, he should be addressed as "Mr.
+A----," when it is not desired to be too stiff and formal.
+
+In conversation, when referring to the Governor--he being present--it
+should not be "The Governor," but "Lord Blank," "Sir George," or "Mr.
+A---- said so and so," unless strangers are present, before whom it
+would seem right to be a little formal.
+
+In addressing a Governor by letter, the envelope should be directed to
+"His Excellency Sir George Blank," however friendly its contents may be;
+but when writing to a Governor's wife, it has not been thought right to
+style her "Her Excellency," but simply "Lady Blank," unless in the case
+of a Viceroy's wife, as in India or Ireland; but as against this the
+point was raised some years ago, and it was then decided that the wives
+of Governors were entitled to be so addressed.
+
+Colloquially, the members of a Governor's suite refer to both the
+Governor and his wife as "His" and "Her Excellency," and style them
+"Your Excellency," and all who approach them officially, being of
+inferior rank, do likewise; but socially they are seldom so addressed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Colonial Bishop= should not actually be styled "My Lord," or referred
+to as "The Lord Bishop," if it is desired to be quite correct; but "My
+Lord" or "The Lord Bishop" is now often used by persons who know it is
+not the proper style of address, but make use of these titles, wishing
+to be more deferential than scrupulously correct. In writing to a
+colonial bishop, the envelope should be addressed to "The Right Rev. the
+Bishop of ----," and the letter commenced "Right Rev. Sir" or "Dear
+Bishop Blank."
+
+A colonial officer who has received the King's special permission to
+retain the title of "Honourable" which he bore in his colony, is
+accorded at Court, _i.e._ at a levee, Court ball, etc., the same
+precedence as a peer's son, who is styled "Honourable," but this does
+not practically give him any rank or precedence at ordinary social
+gatherings, where that special grant is unknown or ignored. Also the
+privilege confers no rank or precedence upon the wife or daughters of a
+colonial Honourable, just as the wife of a Right Honourable here has no
+special precedence.
+
+The title of Honourable cannot continue to be borne by a retired
+colonial officer or Legislative Councillor unless it has been specially
+authorised by the sovereign on the recommendation of the Secretary of
+State for the Colonies.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXII
+
+INDIAN ETIQUETTE
+
+
+It is the custom that those who wish to be invited to Government House
+(Viceregal House) at Simla, or elsewhere, should, immediately on
+arrival, write their names in the visitors' book kept for that purpose,
+and they are sure, if in general society, to be asked to one or more of
+the receptions held during the season. They are introduced to the
+Vice-Queen--as the wife of the Viceroy is termed--by one of the
+_aides-de-camp_ in waiting.
+
+When a lady is the wife of a Government official, it gives her a
+position in society in India which perhaps she would not otherwise have,
+and is in itself a passport to most functions. Official rank is
+everything in India.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards attending the Viceregal Drawing-rooms=, they are only held
+in Calcutta and in the evening. If a lady has been presented at a Court
+in England, she can attend a Drawing-room in Calcutta; but, if she has
+not been presented at home, she must be introduced by some other lady
+who has been presented at the Viceregal Court.
+
+In writing unofficially to the Governor-General of India, it would not
+be correct to use the title of "Viceroy," and the proper superscription
+is "His Excellency The Right Hon."; or, if a Duke, "His Excellency The
+Duke of ----"; or, if a Marquis, "His Excellency The Most Honble.
+Marquis of ----," etc.
+
+To the wife of a Viceroy the address should be "Her Excellency the
+Duchess of ----," "Her Excellency The Marchioness of ----," "Her
+Excellency The Countess of ----"; or "Her Excellency The Lady Blank," if
+the wife of a Baron.
+
+When addressing a Viceroy or Vice-Queen colloquially or unofficially,
+"Your Excellency" should not be used in either case. The title only in
+both instances should be employed.
+
+On being introduced to either of their Excellencies, it would be correct
+to curtsy.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIII
+
+GARDEN-PARTIES
+
+
+Garden-parties are entertainments that are annually given. If the
+weather is fine, the more enjoyable it is for the guests; if wet, a
+garden-party resolves itself into a large "at home." In almost every
+county a series of garden-parties is held by the principal ladies of
+their respective neighbourhoods during August and September, nothing but
+absence from home, illness, or some equally good reason being considered
+sufficient excuse for the non-fulfilment of this social duty.
+
+The county at large expects to be invited at least once a year to roam
+about in the beautiful park of the lord of the manor, to row on the
+lake, to play lawn-tennis on the lawn, to wander through the winding
+paths of the shady, leafy shrubberies, to admire the brilliant hues of
+the geraniums bedded out on parterre and terrace, or the variegated
+asters, or the late Gloire-de-Dijon roses, which at the end of August
+are in their fullest beauty. Then there are the conservatories through
+which to saunter, and from which to beat a retreat, if the sun is too
+powerful, into the mansion itself, the reception-rooms being generally
+thrown open on the occasion of a garden-party.
+
+A garden-party is an occasion for offering hospitality to a wide range
+of guests--people whom it would not be convenient to entertain save at
+this description of gathering. Invitations are on these occasions freely
+accorded to ladies, from the energetic lady of eighty to the little lady
+of eight.
+
+One great advantage offered by a garden-party is that it is immaterial
+to what extent ladies are in the majority, and it is a reproach to a
+county rather than to a hostess if the muster of guests is eighty ladies
+against twenty gentlemen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to a Garden-party= should be issued in the name of the
+hostess, and within three weeks to a week of the date fixed. "At home"
+cards should be used for this purpose, and the words "and party" should
+be invariably added after the names of the invited guests.
+
+"Croquet" or "Tennis" should be printed in one corner of the card, the
+hour, 3 to 7 o'clock, above, the day and the date beneath the name of
+hostess. "Weather permitting" is seldom written upon the card, and the
+guests are expected to arrive even though the afternoon should be
+showery and overcast, and only a thoroughly wet afternoon, with no break
+between the showers, should prevent their appearing. In the country,
+ladies think little of a drive of ten miles to attend a garden-party.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Arrangements for Garden-Parties.=--Garden-parties or croquet-parties
+are given on different scales of expenditure, and the preparations are
+regulated accordingly.
+
+When a garden-party is given on a small scale, and the preparations are
+comparatively few, refreshments should be served in the house. (For the
+usual refreshments provided, and for the general arrangements, see work
+entitled "Waiting at Table," p. 82.)
+
+A good supply of garden-chairs and seats should be placed on the lawn
+and about the grounds, rugs spread on the grass for those who sit out,
+and several sets of croquet provided for players.
+
+At large garden-parties a band is considered a necessary adjunct, and
+the band of the regiment quartered in the vicinity is usually available
+for these occasions.
+
+A band gives _eclat_ to an out-door gathering and confers local
+importance upon it. Apart from this, the strains of a band enliven an
+entertainment of this description in no little degree. The place where
+the band is stationed is a rallying-point for the company, and the
+expense and trouble consequent upon engaging a band are repaid by the
+amusement it affords.
+
+The matter of engaging a military band is generally undertaken by the
+master of the house, rather than by the mistress, as, in the first
+place, the consent of the colonel of the regiment has to be obtained as
+a matter of form and courtesy before the arrangements are completed with
+the bandmaster.
+
+Conveyance for the band has also to be provided and discussed with the
+bandmaster, and also refreshments for the bandsmen; and these details
+are more effectually carried out by a host than by a hostess.
+
+Occasionally a large marquee is erected in which to serve refreshments,
+but more frequently the refreshments for the general company are served
+in the house, and only cool drinks dispensed in a tent to the cricketers
+or lawn-tennis players.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Cricket-matches= are often the _raison d'etre_ of a garden-party,
+rendering it popular with both ladies and gentlemen. The cricket-match
+in this case generally takes place in a field near to the grounds of the
+mansion, the match commencing about twelve o'clock, and the general
+company arriving about half-past three, or punctually at four, to
+witness the finish.
+
+Golf now ranks first amongst fashionable outdoor amusements with both
+sexes. Private links are comparatively few, but club links exist in
+almost every neighbourhood--ladies' clubs, men's clubs, and clubs for
+both ladies and gentlemen.
+
+Croquet or tennis tournaments are frequently the occasion of giving
+garden-parties, and some very exciting play takes place.
+
+When a tournament is held it takes the form of a garden-party; it
+usually lasts two days. The arrangements made for holding it depend upon
+circumstances, and it takes place, as do archery-matches, in either
+private or public grounds.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Amusements.=--When a number of children are expected at a garden-party,
+performances of marionettes, or Punch-and-Judy, or conjuring are given
+for their amusement.
+
+In districts remote from town, these shows are difficult to obtain;
+therefore amateur showmen come bravely to the rescue, and their kindly
+efforts to divert the juveniles meet with due appreciation on all sides.
+
+Not seldom a little amateur music is given at a garden-party--not a
+pre-arranged programme of music, but impromptu performances. These
+good-natured efforts to enliven the company occupy about an hour, and
+such performances take place in either the drawing-room or music-room
+of the mansion.
+
+Garden-parties seldom terminate with a dance, though occasionally
+dancing closes the afternoon's amusements.
+
+The time occupied by croquet or tennis precludes all desire on the part
+of the players for further exertion in the shape of dancing, and young
+people apparently prefer playing croquet from 3 to 7 on the lawn to
+dancing in a marquee or in the drawing-room at that hour.
+
+A host and hostess receive their guests at a garden-party on the lawn;
+strangers should be introduced to the hostess by those who have
+undertaken to bring them to her house, and she should shake hands with
+all comers. It is also usual for guests to shake hands with the hostess
+on departure, if opportunity offers for so doing.
+
+Garden-parties commence from 3.30 to 4 o'clock, and terminate at 7
+o'clock.
+
+In making preparations for a garden-party, stabling for the
+carriage-horses and motor-cars of the numerous guests should be taken
+into consideration, and refreshments provided for the men-servants and
+chauffeurs.
+
+Public afternoon concerts, bazaars, and flower-shows are essentially
+functions frequented by ladies _en masse_, and it is the exception,
+rather than the rule, for gentlemen to accompany them; again, at private
+afternoon gatherings, ladies usually appear unaccompanied by gentlemen.
+
+When a garden-party is a very large function, it is not unusual to put
+the words "garden-party" on the invitation cards in place of the words
+"at home"; thus: "The Countess of A---- requests the pleasure of Mr. and
+Mrs. B----'s company at a garden-party on----," etc.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIV
+
+TOWN GARDEN-PARTIES
+
+
+The first garden-parties in town are usually given early in June, and
+continue during this and the ensuing month. The garden-parties at
+Lambeth Palace and Fulham Palace are the pioneers of the garden-party
+season, and the lead is followed by general society with more or
+less alacrity.
+
+Town garden-parties resolve themselves into large receptions held
+out-of-doors, and those who know what crowded drawing-rooms imply in the
+sultry days of June are particularly glad of this change of _locale_,
+and willingly spend an hour or more at one of these out-of-door
+_reunions_, instead of thinking a quarter of an hour's stay all too long
+within doors, where it is a case of heat _versus_ draught, and difficult
+to determine where it is the most objectionable, in the drawing-room,
+tea-room, or on a staircase. Although these functions are designated
+"garden-parties," yet the real style and title is "at homes," the
+address being sufficient indication to the invited guests as to the
+description of entertainment to be given, as the spacious gardens and
+lawns in and around London where these annual parties are held are well
+known to society at large. A band playing in the grounds where the
+garden-party is given would appear to be a _sine qua non_, but the
+excellence of the same is merely a question of expense. Thus guests have
+the pleasure of listening to the strains of splendid bands, and also the
+disappointment of hearing others far below the average.
+
+As this fickle climate of ours is not to be counted upon for twenty-four
+hours at a stretch to remain fine, it is seldom considered advisable to
+have the whole of the refreshment tables out-of-doors, and thus only
+ices, strawberries and cream, and ice cups are served out-of-doors; tea,
+coffee, and the rest, with ices, strawberries and cream, being
+invariably served within doors.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Refreshment tables out-of-doors= considerably take off the strain from
+the tables in the tea-rooms, especially during the first half-hour, when
+the great rush is made in this direction. Again, should heavy rain set
+in, the servants can easily remove pails of ice and bowls of
+strawberries and cream out of harm's way. Even a large tent or marquee
+is not considered altogether desirable for refreshments, as under a
+burning sun the air within becomes over-heated and oppressive, while in
+the case of a downpour the results are almost disastrous.
+
+The popularity of garden-parties is incontestible in propitious weather.
+A variety of reasons conduce to this; for one thing, movement is so
+pleasant an exchange from the almost stationary position guests are
+compelled to take up in a crowded drawing-room. Again, the number of
+guests invited is so much greater than to an "at home," that the chance
+of meeting a corresponding number of friends and acquaintances is
+trebled; or, on the other hand, if but a few friends should be present
+among the guests, yet the situation does not amount to isolation and
+boredom; and the alternative of sitting under a shady tree or sauntering
+about on the lawns listening to the strains of the band, is positive
+enjoyment in comparison to sitting in the corner of a drawing-room
+barricaded by a phalanx of ladies, or standing wedged in the midst of
+the same. It is small wonder, therefore, that invitations to these
+outdoor functions are hailed with satisfaction and pleasure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Arrivals at a garden-party= are made almost simultaneously, or if not
+quite this, they follow in rapid succession, so that host and hostess
+have a short interval between arrivals and departures; and this offers
+an opportunity to give more than a shake of the hand to many of the
+guests, _i.e._ a little friendly conversation; while at an "at home" the
+hostess has to be at her post from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., as guests arrive
+continuously, even close up to the hour named for departure.
+
+The host is expected to be present at a garden-party, and almost always
+is so; but his presence at his wife's "at home" is left a little
+doubtful, and his absence is often accounted for on the ground of its
+being unavoidable; but the trivial reasons that many men advance to
+their wives for their non-appearance prove how glad they are to escape
+from the ordeal on any terms. A man in the open air is at his best, and
+therefore a garden-party appeals to a host almost as much as it does
+to a guest.
+
+Although the words "at home" are in general use when issuing invitations
+to these functions, yet occasionally the words "garden-party" are
+substituted in lieu of them on the "at home" cards, when the gatherings
+are unusually large; thus: "Viscountess B---- requests the pleasure of
+Mr. and Mrs. G----'s company at a garden-party on----," etc.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXV
+
+EVENING GARDEN-PARTIES
+
+
+=The Garden-Party Season= has been widened out by the introduction of
+"Evening Garden-Parties" into the list of country festivities, and this
+form of entertainment has found great favour with all.
+
+Invitations are issued on the usual "at home" cards, the hours from 9 to
+12 p.m. Occasionally "dancing" is printed on the cards, but not often,
+as it is not usual to combine an evening garden-party with a dance,
+except when only young girls and young men are invited.
+
+Some little perplexity is felt by the recipients of evening garden-party
+invitations as to the style of dress that should be worn. Should ladies
+wear morning dress or evening dress? Men are equally in doubt on this
+point. Ought they to wear evening dress or not? Although this is not
+stated on the invitation cards, yet it is tacitly understood that ladies
+are expected to appear in the usual garden-party attire--smart, pretty
+dresses and hats or bonnets, and small fashionable wraps carried in
+place of sunshades in the event of the evening air proving somewhat
+chilly. Evening dress, when worn at one of these "at homes," looks
+particularly out of place. The thin evening shoes, which must of
+necessity be worn with this style of dress, suit neither dewy grass nor
+stony gravel; and although at the evening concerts at the Botanic
+Gardens many ladies wear "evening dress" with smart evening cloaks, this
+is beside the question. They go for a short half-hour or so, not for a
+three hours' stay. Anyhow, at evening garden-parties, the rule is not
+to wear evening dress as far as ladies are concerned. Men, on the other
+hand, one and all, are expected to do so, morning dress being looked
+upon as out of place on these occasions. A light overcoat is inseparable
+from evening dress, therefore it is not considered risky wear for men
+even on the chilliest of summer evenings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As to the arrangements= for one of these evening garden-parties. It is
+usual to have tea and coffee, and light refreshments during the whole of
+the evening, from arrival to departure, and to give a light supper a
+little before twelve o'clock. The gardens and grounds are illuminated
+with coloured lamps and lanterns, extensively or moderately, as the case
+may be. A band is considered indispensable, but a good one does not seem
+to be equally imperative, to judge from the indifferent performances of
+various bands heard on these summer evenings. However, country audiences
+are not too critical, knowing that to engage a good band from a distance
+entails considerable expense, and that evening garden-parties would be
+singularly few if superior music was insisted upon. Thus the local band
+is encouraged to do its best, and to allow long intervals to elapse
+between each selection.
+
+In the case of an evening turning out decidedly wet, guests invited from
+a distance seldom put in an appearance, while the nearer neighbours do
+so, and the evening garden-party becomes an evening reception within
+doors, shorn of its numbers, it is true, but a pleasant gathering,
+nevertheless, especially with those who know how to make the best of a
+_contretemps_ caused by unpropitious weather.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVI
+
+LUNCHEONS
+
+
+=Invitations to Luncheon= are very much the order of the day in
+fashionable society. Those who look back some few years remark the
+importance now accorded to this midday meal, and contrast it with the
+past. The lateness of the dinner-hour in a measure accounts for the
+position now taken by luncheon in the day's programme, joined to the
+fact that it offers another opportunity for social gatherings; and as
+the prevailing idea seems to be to crowd into one day as much amusement
+and variety and change as possible, invitations to luncheon have become
+one of the features of social life.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to Public Luncheons= are not now confined to the
+celebration of local and civic events, but take a far wider range, and
+are given on every available opportunity when the occasion can be made
+to serve for assembling a large party of ladies and gentlemen. Luncheon
+is by some considered to be rather a lady's meal than not, although in
+reality invitations are given as frequently to the one sex as to the
+other. Yet the predominance of ladies at luncheon is due to the fact
+that the majority of gentlemen are too much occupied at this hour to be
+at liberty to accept invitations to luncheon, while others, more idle,
+breakfast at so late an hour that to them a two o'clock luncheon is a
+farce as far as eating is concerned. Outside of those who are busy men
+and those who are idle men, and consequently late risers, there is
+another semi-occupied class of men who are always amenable to an
+invitation to luncheon.
+
+This institution of luncheon is invaluable to people who have many
+friends, acquaintances, and relations to entertain, as invitations to
+this meal are given for every day in the week, with or without ceremony,
+with long notice or short notice, or on the spur of the moment.
+
+Ladies enjoy the society of their hostess at luncheon far more than at a
+dinner-party. At the former meal she makes general conversation with her
+guests on both sides of the table; at the latter she is monopolised by
+her immediate neighbours, by the gentleman who takes her down to dinner,
+and by the one who sits at her right hand, while she leaves her guests
+to be entertained by the gentlemen who take them in to dinner. At
+luncheon things are different; there is no going in to luncheon,
+conventionally speaking, save on official and public occasions.
+
+Luncheon occupies a prominent place in the round of hospitalities.
+Invitations to luncheon are not formally issued on invitation cards,
+unless some especial reason exists for giving a large luncheon-party, in
+which case it takes rank as an entertainment.
+
+Large luncheon-parties are given on occasions such as lawn-tennis
+tournaments and lawn-tennis parties, archery-parties, cricket matches
+and bazaars, etc.
+
+Semi-official luncheons are given on the occasion of laying the
+foundation-stone of a church or public building, etc. This class of
+luncheon is beside the question, as it is rather a banquet than a
+luncheon, for which printed cards of invitation are issued.
+
+In general society invitations to luncheon are issued by written notes
+or are verbally given according to circumstances.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Invitations to Luncheon.=--A week's notice is the longest usually
+given, very little notice being considered requisite.
+
+Many hostesses give their friends _carte blanche_ invitations to
+luncheon; but ladies as a rule seldom avail themselves of this _facon de
+parler_, as they consider it, and prefer to await a more direct form of
+invitation. Gentlemen, on the contrary, are expected to avail themselves
+of this proffered hospitality without ceremony, as the presence of a
+gentleman visitor at luncheon is considered an acquisition, the reason,
+perhaps, being that ladies are usually in the majority at luncheon, and
+also that the unexpected arrival of one or two ladies would call for a
+greater amount of attention on the part of a hostess seated at luncheon
+than would the unexpected arrival of gentlemen, ladies requiring
+especial attention to be shown to them in the matter of a place at
+table, etc., while gentlemen are ready to offer attention instead of
+requiring it, and to take any place at table, whether convenient or
+otherwise.
+
+As a rule, the number of ladies present at luncheon greatly exceeds the
+number of gentlemen present, unless at a luncheon-party, when a hostess
+usually endeavours to equalise the numbers as far as possible; but it is
+not imperative for her to do this, and it is immaterial whether there
+are as many gentlemen as ladies present at luncheon or not.
+
+Luncheon is a very useful institution to a mistress of a house, as it
+enables her to show a considerable amount of civility to her friends and
+acquaintances.
+
+She can invite to luncheon those it might not, for various reasons, be
+convenient to invite to dinner; as for instance, young ladies, single
+ladies, elderly ladies, ladies coming to town, or into the neighbourhood
+for a few days only, and so on.
+
+The usual rule in houses where there are children old enough to do so,
+is for the children to dine at luncheon with their governess, whether
+there are guests present or not.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In Town the Usual Hour for Luncheon= is 1.30 to 2 o'clock; in the
+country it is generally half an hour earlier. The guests are expected to
+arrive within ten minutes of the hour named in the invitation, as
+although punctuality is not imperative, it is very desirable.
+
+A guest, on his or her arrival at a house, should not, if previously
+invited, inquire if the mistress of the house is at home, but should
+say, on the servant opening the door, "Mrs. A. expects me to luncheon."
+
+When the guests are self-invited, they should inquire if the mistress of
+the house is at home.
+
+Guests are conducted to the drawing-room before luncheon. The servant
+precedes them, as at morning calls.
+
+When guests arrive after the hour named for luncheon, they should be at
+once ushered into the dining-room, and their names announced.
+
+When the guests are unacquainted with each other, the hostess should
+make a sort of general introduction or introductions; that is to say,
+she should introduce one gentleman to two or three ladies, thus, "Mr.
+A., Mrs. B., Mrs. C., and Miss D.," making but one introduction in place
+of three separate introductions, this being the less formal mode of
+making unimportant introductions.
+
+It is not always possible for a host to be present at luncheon, owing to
+occupation and engagements, but courtesy to his wife's guests demands
+his presence when practicable. He should either join them in the
+drawing-room or in the dining-room, according to his convenience.
+
+Guests are not sent in to luncheon as they are to dinner.
+
+Ladies should not remove their hats at luncheon. They should remove
+their fur coats and wraps. These should either be left in the hall on
+arrival or taken off in the drawing-room or dining-room. Short gloves
+should be removed; elbow gloves may be retained.
+
+Gentlemen should not take their hats with them into the drawing-room,
+but should leave them in the hall.
+
+Ten minutes is the usual time allowed between the arrival of the guests
+and serving luncheon, which is usually served at the hour named, the
+received rule being not to wait for guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Going in to Luncheon.=--When the luncheon gong sounds the hostess
+should say to the lady of highest rank present, "Shall we go in to
+luncheon?" or some such phrase. (See "The Art of Conversing.") The
+visitor should then move towards the door. If the host is present, he
+should walk beside her; if not, the hostess should do so. The other
+ladies should follow as far as possible according to precedency, the
+gentlemen going last. Thus the hostess either follows with the ladies
+or leads the way.
+
+Guests should not go in to luncheon arm-in-arm as at a dinner-party, but
+singly, each lady by herself, or, when space permits, side by side.
+Gentlemen likewise, but on arriving in the dining-room, each gentleman
+should place himself by the side of a lady, or between two ladies,
+at table.
+
+The hostess should sit at the top of the table and the host at the
+bottom, as at dinner, but it is immaterial where the guests sit,
+although as a rule the lady of highest rank sits by the host, and the
+gentleman of highest rank by the hostess.
+
+A late arrival should, on being ushered into the dining-room, make his
+or her way to the top of the table to shake hands with the hostess,
+making some polite excuse for being late.
+
+A hostess should rise from her seat to welcome a lady, but she should
+not do so to welcome a gentleman.
+
+Luncheon is either served _a la Russe_ or not, according to inclination,
+both ways being in equally good taste, although, as a rule, the joint is
+served from the _buffet_ or side-table, while the _entrees_, game, or
+poultry are placed on the table.
+
+For further information respecting the arrangements for luncheon, see
+the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+Formerly it was the custom in some houses for the servants to leave the
+dining-room as soon as they had helped the various guests to the joint
+or joints, and handed round the vegetables and the wine, in which case
+the host and hostess helped the guests to the _entrees_ and sweets, or
+the gentlemen present did so; but now it is invariably the rule for the
+servants to remain in the room during the whole of luncheon, and to hand
+the dishes and wine, etc., to the guests as at dinner-parties.
+
+Luncheon usually lasts about half an hour, during which time the hostess
+should endeavour to render conversation general.
+
+As at dinner, it is the duty of a hostess to give the signal for leaving
+the room, which she does by attracting the attention of the lady of
+highest rank present by means of a smile and a bow, rising at the same
+time from her seat.
+
+The host, or the gentleman nearest the door, should open it for the
+ladies to pass out.
+
+The ladies should leave the dining-room as far as possible in the order
+in which they have entered it, the hostess following last.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When the host is not present=, the gentlemen should follow the ladies
+to the drawing-room; but when the host is present, the gentlemen should
+remain in the dining-room with the host a short time before joining the
+ladies in the drawing-room.
+
+It is optional on the part of the host whether he returns or not with
+the gentlemen to the drawing-room, although, if not particularly
+engaged, it is more courteous to do so.
+
+Coffee is sometimes served after luncheon in the drawing-room. It is
+handed on a salver immediately after luncheon. The most usual way now,
+however, is to have coffee brought into the dining-room at the
+conclusion of luncheon, and handed to the guests on a salver.
+
+The guests are not expected to remain longer than twenty minutes after
+the adjournment to the drawing-room has been made.
+
+Ladies should put on their gloves on their return to the drawing-room
+after luncheon.
+
+Ladies having motor-cars should previously desire their chauffeurs to
+return for them from three to a quarter-past three o'clock, and the
+servant should inform each guest of the arrival of her motor-car.
+
+When a lady requires a cab, she should ask the hostess's permission to
+have one called for her.
+
+The subject of leave-taking is fully described in Chapter IV.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVII
+
+BREAKFASTS
+
+
+=Breakfast Parties= have in certain circles become a feature, and
+invitations to breakfast are issued both by card and by note.
+
+In official circles breakfast parties are frequently given, the morning
+hours up to one o'clock being the only disengaged portion of the day,
+and thus the opportunity is taken for offering and receiving
+hospitality, and of enjoying the society of friends and acquaintances.
+The breakfast hour varies from ten to eleven, according to
+circumstances, and the meal somewhat resembles a luncheon, fish,
+_entrees_, game, and cold viands being given, with the addition of tea,
+coffee, and liqueurs.
+
+Punctuality on these occasions is almost imperative, as breakfast cannot
+be prolonged beyond a given limit, and therefore it is not considered
+necessary to wait the coming of a late guest.
+
+The guests go in to breakfast as to luncheon. When a party consists of
+both ladies and gentlemen, the hostess should lead the way with the lady
+of highest rank, followed by the other ladies, the gentlemen following
+with the host.
+
+When a party consists of gentlemen only, the host should lead the way
+with the gentleman of highest rank, and should indicate to the
+principal of the gentlemen present the places he wishes them to occupy
+at table; the remainder of the company should seat themselves according
+to inclination.
+
+The table should be laid as for luncheon, and decorated with flowers and
+fruit. Tea and coffee should be served from a side table by the servants
+in attendance.
+
+All dishes should be handed as at luncheon.
+
+For the details of "Breakfast-table Arrangements and Serving Breakfast,"
+see the work entitled "Waiting at Table."
+
+The guests usually leave as soon as breakfast is over, unless the ladies
+are invited by the hostess to accompany her to the drawing-room, or the
+gentlemen are invited by the host to smoke a cigarette or cigar previous
+to their departure.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=House Party Breakfasts.=--In the country the breakfast hour varies from
+9 to 10.30, and in some country houses it is an understood thing that
+the guests are at liberty to come down to breakfast at any time between
+nine and half-past ten. In not a few country houses the hostess and the
+ladies breakfast in their own rooms, and the gentlemen of the party
+breakfast with the host in the breakfast-room.
+
+The breakfast gong is a signal for assembling in the breakfast-room or
+dining-room, but it is not the custom to wait for any one beyond five or
+ten minutes.
+
+The host and hostess at once take their places at the breakfast-table.
+
+When the house-party is a large one, and space permits, a number of
+small tables should be arranged in the breakfast-room, in addition to a
+long breakfast-table.
+
+The servants should remain in attendance during breakfast to wait upon
+the guests.
+
+There is no general move made from the breakfast table as in the case of
+luncheon or dinner; the hostess generally remains until the whole of the
+guests have at least commenced breakfast, save in the case of very late
+comers, for whom she would not be expected to remain at the head of the
+breakfast-table.
+
+The guests leave the breakfast-table as soon as they have finished
+breakfast, without waiting for any intimation from the hostess to do so.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXVIII
+
+PICNICS AND WATER-PARTIES
+
+
+Many things contribute to draw people into the country and away from
+town in the month of September; therefore there is a far larger number
+in each and every neighbourhood inclined for a picnic or a water-party
+than in the three previous months, June, July, and August.
+
+Picnic parties are sometimes invitation parties, and on other occasions
+contribution parties, or parties which partake in a measure of the
+character of both.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Picnics by Motor Car and Picnics by Rail.=--Almost every county has its
+show place, or its ruins, its ruined abbey or its castle, its romantic
+scenery, and its fine views, its hills or its dales, its waterfalls or
+its glens. The southern and western counties are as rich in these
+respects as the eastern counties are barren.
+
+When a picnic party is to proceed to its destination by rail, a saloon
+carriage is engaged beforehand, and arrangement is made at the nearest
+hotel to supply the party with luncheon at from 5s. to 10s. per
+head, according to the style of luncheon required; or hampers of
+provisions are taken under the charge of one or two men-servants.
+
+If the picnic party proceeds by road, a coach is the favourite mode of
+conveyance, whether driven by the owner or hired for the occasion. This
+is a more sociable way of going to a picnic than dividing the party into
+detachments and conveying them in separate carriages. This is sometimes
+unavoidable, and if the party is assembled for a start, it occasions no
+little discussion as to how the party should be divided and conveyed in
+the various carriages, and it takes no little tact to arrange this in a
+satisfactory manner--to overrule objections, and to make things work
+smoothly. Again, the members of a picnic party occasionally find their
+way to the place of rendezvous independently of each other; but,
+although this plan saves trouble, it does not promote sociability, and
+parties of four or six are apt to clique together during the day,
+instead of making themselves generally agreeable. The provision question
+is a very important one, and the heads of a picnic party should arrange
+in concert what each is to bring in the way of fish, flesh, fowl, fruit,
+and wine.
+
+The services of one or two men-servants at a large picnic party are
+generally required to arrange the table, to open the wine, and last, but
+not least, to collect and repack the articles used in the way of plate,
+china, or glass.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A picnic luncheon in September= is not always the _al fresco_ spread
+under the greenwood tree that it is in July, and oftener than not is
+held in the best parlour of a rustic inn, or, by permission, in a barn
+or shed, when the weather is not favourable for camping out.
+
+Usually, when a large picnic party is arranged and got up by some three
+or four ladies and gentlemen, they divide the expenses of the
+entertainment between themselves, and determine how many shall be
+invited, each having the privilege of inviting a certain number. Other
+picnics are got up on a different system, each person contributing a
+share towards the general expenses; but these gatherings are not so
+sociable as are the invitation picnics.
+
+Invitation picnics where everything is done _en prince_ are extremely
+enjoyable and friendly affairs; they are big luncheons, given
+out-of-doors instead of indoors, at a distance instead of at home. But
+even these are not more pleasant than those well-arranged little
+picnics given by officers in country quarters, when the regimental coach
+conveys a favoured few to some favourite spot.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Water-Parties.=--There are many ways of arranging a water-party at
+yachting stations and at all riverside places. At yachting stations, for
+instance, a sailing yacht is hired to convey a party of from eighteen to
+twenty-five to some point of interest on the coast, in which case
+luncheon and tea are provided at an hotel in the vicinity of the place
+where the party have landed, and the expenses are equally divided. Not
+unfrequently, on the return journey, the yacht is becalmed, and does not
+reach its destination until between two and three the following morning.
+If it happens to be a fine moonlight night, this prolongation of a
+water-party is an additional source of enjoyment; but if there is no
+moon as well as no wind, and the calm betokens a storm, it is the
+reverse of pleasant. But these little _contretemps_, when they do occur,
+rather lend a zest to the day's pleasure, and are something to talk
+about afterwards.
+
+Water-parties are often given by owners of yachts. These are invitation
+parties, and luncheon, tea, and sometimes dinner, are served on
+board, and the party land and stroll about, but return to the yacht
+to be entertained.
+
+Picnic and water-parties in general include as many gentlemen as ladies,
+whether they are invitation or contribution parties, although sometimes
+a majority of ladies is unavoidable. Ryde is a favourite station for
+water-parties, as the island itself, as well as the opposite coast,
+offer innumerable points of interest for picnicing, and many are able to
+combine the pleasures of the yacht with those of the launch in one and
+the same water-party; thus a party sails from Ryde to Yarmouth, Isle
+of Wight, and then proceeds in a steam, or other, launch to Alum Bay.
+Launch parties are immensely popular, both on the river and on the
+coast. Some picnic on board, and others on shore, as they feel disposed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Canoe-parties= on coast and river are also popular with both ladies and
+gentlemen, and here again the useful launch is brought into requisition
+to convey the party home, as an hour and a half to two hours is an
+average time to paddle a canoe; after that time the party land either on
+the rocks or on the shore, and light a fire and boil the kettle for tea.
+If the tea-drinking and the after-tea ramble are unduly prolonged there
+is a chance, if on the coast, of the steam-launch running out of coal,
+and of the party having to return home in their own canoes considerably
+later than was expected, and not a little fatigued.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXIX
+
+JUVENILE PARTIES
+
+
+=Juvenile Parties= form a prominent feature in the entertainments given
+during the winter months. There is scarcely a household the children of
+which are not indulged with one large party at least, while others are
+allowed as many as two or three children's parties during the winter
+months. These parties offer no little elasticity as to their
+arrangement, varying from a child's tea party, composed, perhaps, of
+five or six children, to a juvenile ball, or fancy dress ball. Some
+mothers object, on principle, to the latter entertainments, on the
+ground that to give a large juvenile ball provokes a corresponding
+number of invitations, and that a round of such gaieties is not good for
+young children, either from a moral or from a hygienic point of view.
+Morally, that such amusements are likely to destroy or impair the
+freshness of childhood, and to engender artificial ideas in their young
+minds in place of such as are natural and healthy, and that the
+imitation of the manners and bearing of their elders causes them to
+become miniature men and women, and divests them of the attributes of
+artless and unaffected childhood.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The dresses worn by children= at these entertainments are of so
+elaborate a character--and so much pride is exhibited when wearing
+them--that a spirit of vanity and a love of dress are aroused at a
+prematurely early age. From a physical point of view, late hours, heated
+rooms, rich dainties, and constant excitement have a pernicious effect
+upon children.
+
+There is, of course, an opposite view taken by those who uphold juvenile
+balls; they consider that children are the better for associating with
+others of their own age outside of their own family circle, and that in
+the case of only children such association is calculated to render them
+lively and intelligent. Another argument in favour of these juvenile
+parties is, that children who are in the habit of constantly attending
+them acquire self-possessed and confident manners, and that all shyness,
+_mauvaise honte_ and _gaucherie_, which distinguish many children when in
+the company of strangers, are dispelled by frequent intercourse with
+children of all ages. Thus, in place of the noisy game of romps, the
+little gentlemen ask the little ladies to dance, pull costume bon-bons
+with their favourite partners, and offer them similar attentions
+throughout the evening. Of course, there are shy little gentlemen and
+shy little ladies even at a juvenile ball; but it is the constant
+endeavour of those who accompany them, whether mammas, elder sisters,
+young aunts, or grown-up cousins, to persuade them to get the better of
+this diffidence, and to induce taciturn Master Tommy to dance with timid
+Miss Tiny. Sometimes Master Tommy is obstinate, as well as taciturn, and
+his "won't" is as strong as his will. As with all things, so with
+children's parties, the medium course is, perhaps, the wisest to take,
+running into neither extreme--avoiding too much seclusion or overmuch
+gaiety, and rendering such gaiety and amusement suitable to the ages of
+the children invited. When an evening's entertainment consists of a
+series of amusements, it is a mistake to crowd too great a variety into
+the space of four hours, the usual limits of a child's party, for if so
+the programme has to be hurriedly gone through, and is hardly finished
+before the hour of departure. No little judgment is required when
+organising juvenile parties. The hours usually selected for children's
+parties, whether on a large or small scale, are from four to eight, five
+to nine, six to ten, or from seven to eleven.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The children on their arrival= are received in the drawing-room. In
+most cases their relatives, either mothers or grown-up sisters, are
+asked to accompany them.
+
+There is great punctuality observed as regards the hour of arrival, and
+tea is usually served in the dining-room about half an hour after that
+named on the invitation card. The interim is generally passed by
+children in watching each fresh arrival, and in greeting their little
+acquaintances, comparing notes with each other as to the teas and the
+parties they are going to, or in amusing themselves with the toys
+belonging to the children of the house, which are usually arranged on
+tables for this purpose; and mechanical toys, walking and talking birds,
+etc., musical toys, picture-books, and dolls, and the latest and newest
+inventions in the way of playthings afford the little visitors an
+opportunity for becoming at ease with each other.
+
+Tea is generally dispensed at one end of a long table, and coffee at the
+opposite end. The governess usually pours out the tea, and one of the
+daughters of the house the coffee; or failing her, the head nurse or
+lady's maid does so. Dishes of pound, plum, and sponge cake are placed
+the length of the table, interspersed with plates of thin
+bread-and-butter, biscuits, and preserves; either the ladies of the
+family or the servants in attendance hand them to the children.
+
+When the relatives accompany the children tea is usually served to them
+in another room, but frequently they do not arrive until tea is over,
+and the nurses accompany the children to the house.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Amusements.=--The arrangements for the evening's amusement are
+regulated in a measure by the amount of accommodation a house affords,
+premising that boisterous games are not allowed in drawing-rooms;
+unless all valuable ornaments or things likely to be broken are removed
+from the rooms.
+
+If conjuring is one of the amusements provided, it generally takes place
+in the drawing-room immediately after tea, and lasts about an hour. A
+dancing-cloth is put down over the drawing-room carpet; rout seats or
+cane chairs are arranged in rows. The youngest children are seated in
+the first row. Performing birds, performing dogs, or performing monkeys
+are also favourite amusements at these parties, and rank next to
+conjuring in the estimation of children. Punch and Judy or marionettes
+are popular drawing-room amusements, and either occupies the space of an
+hour.
+
+When a cinematograph show is the entertainment provided, it takes place
+in the dining-room or library, or perhaps in the housekeeper's room, if
+large enough for the purpose.
+
+Dancing or games usually precede these amusements, and lasts from half
+to three-quarters of an hour; little girls dance with each other round
+and square dances, as little girls are, as a rule, more partial to
+dancing than are little boys, although they one and all, great and
+small, join with glee in a country dance, or in the Tempete, or in "Sir
+Roger de Coverley."
+
+Not longer than an hour is devoted to dancing, and this is usually
+followed by games.
+
+Impromptu charades is a favourite pastime with children; but to avoid
+the juvenile audience becoming weary and impatient during the
+preparation of the charades it is as well they should be amused with
+some quiet game, such as "forfeits," "cross questions and crooked
+answers," "proverbs," etc. At Christmas and New Year's parties the
+distribution of presents is a very important feature; Christmas trees
+are now rather discarded in favour of greater novelties. "Father
+Christmas," "Santa Claus," "The Fairy Godmother," "The Fairies' Well,"
+or the "Lucky Bag" and "The Magic Log," are some of the many devices for
+the distribution of presents; these popular characters are represented
+by grown-up persons, and provoke much wonder and admiration amongst
+children. The presents are usually given at the close of the evening.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Light Refreshments= are provided in the dining-room--lemonade, wine and
+water, every description of cake, sandwiches, crystallized fruits,
+French plums, figs, almonds and raisins, oranges, etc. Bon-bons
+containing paper caps, etc., which afford children much amusement, are
+usually provided.
+
+When a juvenile ball is given a supper is provided; otherwise light
+refreshments are considered sufficient, and are served twice during the
+evening. Sometimes the children of the family, if old enough and clever
+enough, act a little play--some nursery fairy tale, condensed into one
+act, such as "Beauty and the Beast," "Cinderella," etc.--which lasts
+about an hour, and is followed by dancing.
+
+When a juvenile fancy ball is given, one or two fancy quadrilles are
+arranged beforehand, to be danced by the children in costume.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXX
+
+WRITTEN INVITATIONS
+
+
+=Writing Letters of Invitation=, and answering letters of invitation,
+often occupy far longer time in the composition than the writers would
+care to confess. The difficulty does not lie in an invitation itself or
+in accepting or refusing it, but rather in the form in which either
+should be couched, the words that should be chosen, and the expressions
+that should be used; one person is afraid of being too _empresse_,
+another of being too formal or too stiff; one is fearful of saying too
+little, another of saying too much.
+
+When invitations are issued on dinner cards or on "at home" cards, the
+note of acceptance should be as brief as is the printed card of
+invitation, and to the printed card requesting the pleasure of Mrs.
+Blank's company at dinner, the stereotyped answer is invariably Mrs.
+Blank has much pleasure in accepting Mrs. Dash's kind invitation for
+Saturday the 21st, or Mrs. Blank regrets that a previous engagement will
+prevent her from having the pleasure of accepting Mrs. Dash's kind
+invitation for Saturday, the 21st.
+
+As regards those invitations that refer to visits of some days'
+duration, those accustomed to give this description of entertainment,
+know exactly what to say and how to say it. The conventional civilities
+or affectionate cordialities, as the case may be, occur in their proper
+places; but one point is made clear in either case, namely, the length
+of the visit to be paid. There are people who are under the impression
+that to specify the exact length of a visit is in a degree inhospitable,
+and not sufficiently polite; and they, therefore, as a sort of
+compromise, use the ambiguous term "a few days" in lieu of distinctly
+defining the limit of these invitations. So far from vague invitations
+such as these being an advantage to invited guests, they not seldom
+place them at a disadvantage at more points than one. They are uncertain
+on what day they are to take their departure. They do not wish by
+leaving a day earlier to disarrange any little plans that their hostess
+may have contemplated for their amusement; neither do they wish to
+prolong their visit a day later, lest by so doing they should break in
+upon any engagements that she may have formed on her own account
+independently of her visitors. It is also not a little awkward for
+guests to tell their hostess that they think of leaving on Thursday by
+12.20 train. It might have suited the hostess very much better that her
+visitors should have left on the Wednesday, and in her own mind she had
+perhaps intended that the visit should end on that day; but, having left
+the invitation open, more or less, by saying "a few days," there is
+nothing left for her but to sacrifice her own arrangements to the
+convenience of her guests, as without discourtesy she could hardly
+suggest to them that they should leave a day earlier than the one they
+had named, and the visitors remain unconscious of having in any way
+trespassed upon the good nature of their hostess.
+
+"A few days" is also an unsatisfactory wording of an invitation to
+visitors themselves; as a rule, it means three or four days, but there
+is also an uncertainty as to whether the fourth day should be taken or
+not. Those who interpret "a few days" to mean three days, make their
+plans for departure accordingly; failing this, they are compelled to
+leave their plans open, and stay from three to five days, according as
+chance and circumstances may dictate. A lady would perhaps require a
+little addition to her wardrobe in the matter of a five days' visit over
+that of a three days' stay; but this is a trifling detail, although it
+helps to swell the list of minor inconveniences which are the result of
+vague invitations. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule, and
+there are people who use this phrase of "Will you come and see us for a
+few days?" in the _bona fide_ sense of the word, and to whom it is
+immaterial whether their guests remain three days or six days; but such
+an elastic invitation as this is usually given to a relative, or to a
+very intimate friend, whose footing in the house is that of a relation,
+and with whom the hostess does not stand on ceremony, as far as her own
+engagements are concerned; and people on these friendly terms can talk
+over their departure with their hostess, and consult her about it
+without the faintest embarrassment.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The most satisfactory invitation= is certainly the one that mentions
+the day of arrival and the day of departure. Thus, after the _raison
+d'etre_ of the invitation has been stated, the why and the wherefore of
+its being given follows the gist of the letter: "We hope you will come
+to us on Wednesday the 23rd, and remain until the 27th." It is, of
+course, open to a hostess to ask her visitors to prolong their stay
+beyond the date named if she sees reason for so doing; but this is the
+exception rather than the rule in the case of short visits, and guests
+take their departure as a matter of course on the day named in the
+invitation. Hostess and guests are perfectly at ease upon the subject,
+and guests do not feel on delicate ground with their hostess, or fear to
+outstay their welcome. When a visit has been paid it is polite, if not
+imperative, to write to the hostess and express the pleasure that has
+been derived from it. Oftener than not some little matter arises which
+necessitates a note being written apart from this; but whether or not,
+good feeling and good taste would dictate that some such note should be
+written, and, as it can always include little matters of general
+interest in connection with the past visit, it need neither be over
+ceremonious nor coldly polite.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=To write a letter asking for an invitation=, or to answer a letter
+asking for an invitation, is in either case a difficult letter to write,
+as many have ere this discovered. When a married lady asks for an
+invitation for a young relative or friend staying with her, to some
+dance or "at home" to which she herself is invited, the note is simple
+enough, and the answer is generally a card of invitation or a written
+permission to bring her. Again, in the case of asking for invitations
+for gentlemen, if a lady is going to a ball, she can without hesitation,
+ask for cards of invitation for one or two gentlemen friends of her own,
+mentioning their names in the note. In this case also the answer is
+generally in the affirmative, as men are always acquisitions at a ball.
+The awkwardness of the situation arises when a good-natured person is
+solicited to obtain an invitation to a smart ball for a lady and her
+daughters, or for the young ladies only, the latter knowing some one who
+would chaperon them if they could only get an invitation. If the lady
+who asks for the invitation is a fashionable ball-giver, the probability
+is that her request will be granted; but if the contrary, the reverse
+will most likely be the case. Even when writing to an intimate friend,
+there is always a delicacy in asking for an invitation for a third
+person, and society appears to become, year after year, still more
+exclusive on this point. Many people are reluctant, or decline
+altogether, to put themselves under an obligation of this nature, even
+for those with whom they are most intimate; it may be that the number of
+refusals good-natured people have received from their friends when
+trying to render services of this description, have made them chary of
+putting themselves forward again in a similar manner: it is chilling to
+be told that the list is over full, or that so many people have been
+refused already, or that there is not a card to spare. But a few years
+ago a ball was not considered a success unless it was an over-crowded
+one; the popularity of the ball-giver was shown by the guests scarcely
+being able to find standing-room. Thus, invitations were given right
+and left to the friends of those who asked for them.
+
+But the fashion of to-day is to style a crowded ball-room a
+"bear-garden," and to confine the invitations, with but very few
+exceptions, to those who are strictly on the visiting list of the
+ball-giver; and pretty girls may sigh in vain for an invitation to a
+ball given even by a relative or acquaintance of their own, if not on
+their visiting list. Still, invitations are constantly asked for by
+people for their friends, and sometimes they are given and sometimes
+they are refused, as the case may be, but much depends upon the position
+of the one who solicits the favour.
+
+If the giver of an entertainment wishes to oblige the petitioner, she
+will stretch a point to do so; if not, she will write a polite note of
+excuse, giving one of the reasons before mentioned. It is thoroughly
+understood people do not ask for invitations for themselves, whatever
+they may do for their friends, and that they would not do so unless they
+were themselves invited. Living at a distance modifies, however, this
+latter rule; and friends in the country often ask for invitations for
+friends in town, and _vice versa_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Dinner invitations= are, as a matter of course, never asked for; but
+invitations to garden-parties, afternoon "at homes," and afternoon teas,
+are frequently asked for and readily given. Some are intimate enough at
+the house where they visit to take a relative or friend with them to
+those afternoon gatherings without observing the punctiliousness of
+asking for an invitation; others, on less intimate terms, do not venture
+upon doing so.
+
+In all cases when an invitation is asked for, a hostess should never
+neglect to send a reply, and should not take for granted that her
+friends will naturally understand that silence gives consent, for
+under the circumstances it is very possible to interpret it to
+signify a refusal.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXI
+
+REFUSING INVITATIONS
+
+
+Many reasons exist for declining invitations other than the plea of a
+prior engagement.
+
+"Mrs. M. regrets ('much regrets,' or 'very much regrets') that a
+previous engagement prevents her having the pleasure of accepting Mrs.
+N.'s 'invitation,' or 'kind invitation.'" When on more intimate terms,
+Mrs. M. should write in the first person when declining an invitation.
+It is an open question whether the nature of the engagement should be
+stated or not. Even intimate friends often confine themselves to the
+statement of the bare fact only that a prior engagement exists; others,
+on the contrary, state the nature of the engagement, and there is no
+doubt that this latter course considerably softens a refusal and lessens
+the disappointment experienced, and therefore, when practicable, should
+always be followed.
+
+When a prior engagement cannot be made the basis of a refusal, then the
+refusal must rest on other lines; ill health, a severe cold, etc., are
+valid excuses. Failing these, the refusal should be as follows:--"Mrs.
+Z. regrets she is unable to accept Mrs. X.'s kind invitation, etc."
+
+It occasionally happens that it is desirable to break an engagement,
+circumstances having changed the aspect of things. The invitation,
+perhaps, was a verbal one, and a refusal was not easy at the moment.
+
+Again, impromptu invitations are sometimes refused, having been too
+hastily accepted--the servant who brought the note waited for an
+answer, and on the impulse of the moment an affirmative answer was
+given; the wife had not time to consult her husband, and accepted for
+him as well as for herself; or perhaps some potent domestic reason that
+could not be explained induced a subsequent refusal.
+
+The fashionable world accepts refusals as a matter of course, and fills
+up the gaps with other invitations.
+
+Refusals of dinner invitations from those for whom a dinner party was
+partly originated are always disappointing, even to the most popular of
+dinner givers, in the same way that the absence of the principal
+neighbour from a county entertainment is felt to cast a shadow over the
+proceedings of the day.
+
+Although printed cards of acceptance and of refusal are in general use,
+yet many cases arise which render written refusals imperative.
+
+As regards the refusal of invitations asked for, such requests should
+not be made unless on very safe ground, and with a certainty of meeting
+with acquiescence, yet occasionally these requests are either unwelcome
+or inadmissible, and refusals are consequently given; but, unless worded
+with tact and good nature, they are often the cause of strained
+relations between both friends and acquaintances.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXII
+
+WALKING, DRIVING, AND RIDING
+
+
+=The Usual Hours for Walking= in the Park are from 9 until 10.30 a.m.
+The hours for afternoon walking and sitting in the Park are from 4 to
+7 p.m. during the summer months.
+
+The fashionable hours for walking in the Park on Sunday are from 1
+to 2 p.m., both in winter and summer; and from 5 to 7 p.m. in the
+summer months.
+
+Married ladies can, if they please, walk out unaccompanied or unattended
+in places of public resort in town or on the parades of fashionable
+watering-places; but married ladies, especially if they are young,
+usually prefer the society of another lady, not so much, perhaps, for
+propriety as for companionship, as to walk alone, either in town or at
+fashionable watering-places, renders a lady more or less conspicuous,
+especially if she is attractive and well dressed.
+
+A young lady can now also walk by herself in the Park for the purpose of
+joining her friends and acquaintances, both in the morning and in the
+afternoon, but she should not sit alone.
+
+Again, young ladies may walk alone in the fashionable streets, but they
+should not loiter when alone at shop-windows as they pass, but walk at a
+quick pace from shop to shop, or from street to street.
+
+In the quiet neighbourhoods of towns, suburban towns, and
+watering-places, young ladies walk unaccompanied and unattended to
+visit their friends residing in the near vicinity of their homes, or to
+attend classes, or for the purpose of shopping, etc. Indeed, great
+independence is generally accorded in this respect, the line being drawn
+at evening hours--that is to say, at walking alone after dusk.
+
+At watering-places, and at all public promenades, it is usual for
+gentlemen to join ladies with whom they are acquainted, and to walk with
+them for a short time when it is apparent that their company is desired,
+but not otherwise.
+
+Ladies and gentlemen, whether related or not, should never walk
+arm-in-arm, unless the lady is an elderly one, or an invalid, and
+requires this support.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Driving.=--From 3 to 6.30 are the received hours for the afternoon
+drive during the summer, and from 2.30 to 4.30 during the winter.
+
+The following rules as regards entering and leaving a carriage apply to
+a motor-car or an electric brougham as far as the construction, make,
+and size of the same render it possible.
+
+When driving in an open or close carriage or motor-car it is quite
+immaterial whether the owner occupies the right-hand or the left-hand
+seat. The seat she occupies depends upon which side she enters, as the
+lady driving with her should enter before her and should seat herself on
+the furthest seat.
+
+A visitor should always enter the motor-car or carriage before the
+hostess.
+
+When three ladies enter a motor-car or carriage the young unmarried lady
+should take the back seat and the two married ladies should occupy the
+front seat; this is a matter of courtesy on the part of a young lady due
+to married ladies and not strictly demanded by etiquette.
+
+A husband should sit with his back to the horses, or by the side of the
+chauffeur in the case of a motor-car, when a lady is driving with his
+wife.
+
+A gentleman should be the first to get out of a motor-car or carriage,
+with a view to assisting the ladies to do so.
+
+As a rule the hostess should leave the carriage or car after her guest
+and not before her, unless it is more convenient to do otherwise.
+
+When a lady is merely calling for an acquaintance to take her for a
+drive, she should not descend from her car or carriage for the purpose
+of allowing her to enter it before her.
+
+In the afternoon young ladies may drive alone in the public
+thoroughfares, unaccompanied by married ladies. It is permissible for a
+young lady to drive alone in the Park or in the streets. A married lady
+can, as a matter of course, drive unaccompanied.
+
+It would be unconventional were a lady to drive alone with a gentleman
+in his motor-car, unless he were nearly related to her, or unless she
+were engaged to be married to him.
+
+It is usual for the owner of a carriage to sit with her face to the
+horses; when a married lady is driving with her she should sit beside
+her. When young ladies are driving with her in addition to the married
+lady they should sit with their backs to the horses.
+
+When a lady is driving with her husband, and a young lady accompanies
+her, she should not offer the front seat to the young lady, but should
+retain it herself, and even should the offer be made, a young lady
+should not avail herself of it.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Riding.=--As regards riding in town, the hours for practice in the Row
+are from 8 to 10 a.m. in summer and 9 to 11 a.m. in winter, for
+inexperienced riders and beginners; young ladies ride with a
+riding-master or with a riding-mistress, or with a relative, as the
+case may be.
+
+The hours for riding in the Park range from 9.30 to 10.30 a.m.
+
+It is thoroughly understood that a lady may ride in the Park alone--that
+is, unaccompanied or unattended--for the purpose of joining her friends.
+It is argued, in these days of woman's emancipation, that no possible
+harm or annoyance can arise from the fact of a lady riding unattended,
+beyond the always possible chance of an accident.
+
+Although great latitude is now allowed to young ladies with regard to
+riding alone, many parents still prefer that their daughters should be
+attended by their grooms.
+
+Two ladies frequently ride together, unaccompanied by a gentleman and
+unattended by a groom.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIII
+
+BOWING
+
+
+As regards the recognition of friends or acquaintances, it is the
+privilege of a lady to take the initiative, by being the first to bow. A
+gentleman should not raise his hat to a lady until she has accorded him
+this mark of recognition, although the act of bowing is a simultaneous
+action on the part of both lady and gentleman, as a lady would hardly
+bestow a bow upon a gentleman not prepared to return it.
+
+The bow between intimate acquaintances takes the character, when given
+by a lady, of a familiar nod in place of a stiff bow.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a gentleman returns the bow= of a lady he should do so by
+distinctly taking his hat off and as quickly replacing it, not merely
+raising it slightly, as formerly, and if he is an intimate acquaintance
+or friend, he should act in a similar manner.
+
+In France and on the Continent generally, the rule of bowing is
+reversed, and the gentleman is the first to bow to the lady, instead
+of the lady to the gentleman.
+
+Between ladies but slightly acquainted, the one of highest rank should
+be the first to bow to the other; between ladies of equal rank it is
+immaterial which of the two bows first.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A lady should not bow= to persons only known to her by sight, although
+she may frequently have seen them in the company of her friends.
+
+A lady should bow to a gentleman, either a friend or acquaintance,
+even when he is walking with either a lady or gentleman, with whom
+she is unacquainted.
+
+Gentlemen do not raise their hats in recognition of each other, but
+simply nod, when not walking with ladies, save when a vast difference
+exists in rank or age.
+
+When a gentleman meets another--a friend of his--walking with a lady or
+ladies, with whom he himself is unacquainted, he should raise his hat
+and look straight before him, not at the lady or ladies.
+
+A lady should not bow to another who, being a stranger to her, has
+addressed a few remarks to her at an afternoon party, as the fact of
+meeting at the house of a mutual friend does not constitute an
+acquaintanceship, and does not authorise a future bowing acquaintance.
+
+Ladies, as a rule, are not too ready to bow to those whom they have
+merely conversed with in a casual way. In the first place, they are not
+quite certain of being remembered, and nothing is more disconcerting and
+disagreeable than to bow to a person who does not return it through
+forgetfulness of the one who has given it, or through shortsightedness,
+or through actual intention. Short-sighted people are always offending
+in the matter of not bowing, and almost every third person,
+comparatively speaking, complains of being more or less short-sighted;
+thus it behoves ladies to discover for themselves the strength and
+length of sight possessed by their new acquaintances, or the chances are
+that their bow may never be returned, or they may continue to labour
+under the impression that they have received a cut direct; thus many
+pleasant acquaintances are lost through this misapprehension, and many
+erroneous impressions created.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A bowing acquaintance= is a difficult and tiresome one to maintain for
+any length of time, when opportunities do not arise for increasing it.
+The irksomeness of keeping it up is principally experienced by persons
+meeting day after day in the Park or on public promenades, riding,
+driving, or walking, more especially when it is tacitly understood that
+the acquaintance should not develop into a further acquaintance.
+
+It would be considered discourteous to discontinue a bowing acquaintance
+which has once been commenced.
+
+To know a gentleman by sight through having frequently seen him at balls
+and parties, does not give a lady the right to bow to him, even though
+she may have stood beside him for some twenty minutes or so on a crowded
+staircase, and may have received some slight civility from him.
+
+A lady who has received a little service from a stranger would gladly
+acknowledge it at any subsequent meeting by a pleasant bow, but as
+bowing to a gentleman argues an acquaintance with him, and as in such
+cases as these an acquaintance does not exist, etiquette provides no
+compromise in the matter. Therefore, if a young lady takes her own line,
+and rather than appear ungracious bows to a gentleman who has not been
+introduced to her either directly or indirectly, it is a breach of
+etiquette on her part; and as to do an unconventional thing is not
+desirable, the innumerable little services which ladies receive in
+general society are not further acknowledged beyond the thanks expressed
+at the moment of their being received.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Bows vary materially:= there is the friendly bow, the distant bow, the
+ceremonious bow, the deferential bow, the familiar bow, the reluctant
+bow, and so on, according to the feelings that actuate individuals in
+their intercourse with each other.
+
+When a bowing acquaintance only exists between ladies and gentlemen, and
+they meet perhaps two or three times during the day, and are not
+sufficiently intimate to speak, they do not usually bow more than once,
+when thus meeting in park or promenade.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIV
+
+THE COCKADE
+
+
+=Cockades are worn= by servants in livery of officers in the army and
+navy, and all those who hold His Majesty's commission; also
+lords-lieutenants and deputy-lieutenants.
+
+Retainers of the Crown are entitled to the use of the cockade as a badge
+of the reigning dynasty.
+
+The fact that cockades are now so frequently worn by men-servants may be
+accounted for thus:
+
+Deputy-lieutenants are far more numerous now than was formerly the case;
+almost every country gentleman is a deputy-lieutenant, and consequently
+his servants are entitled to the use of the cockade. The privilege of
+appearing in uniform at levees instead of in Court dress has been and is
+an incentive to many to seek for and obtain the appointment of
+deputy-lieutenant. Again, all justices of the peace claim the use of the
+cockade as being "Civil retainers of the Crown"; and although there is
+no clearly defined rule on this head, according to the late Sir Albert
+Woods, Garter-King-at-Arms, it has long been tacitly conceded to them.
+
+The custom of livery servants wearing cockades dates from the
+commencement of the eighteenth century, and was at first purely a
+military distinction.
+
+The cockade worn by the servants of the members of the Royal Family, and
+by all who claim to be of Royal descent, is slightly different in shape
+from that known as the badge of the reigning dynasty, _i.e._ the
+Hanoverian badge, and is round in shape and without a fan. The military
+cockade is of an oval shape, terminating in a fan. The civil cockade is
+of an oval shape also, but without the fan. The naval cockade is
+identical with the civil cockade.
+
+The white cockade is the badge of the House of Stuart. The black cockade
+that of the House of Hanover. The servants of foreign ambassadors wear
+cockades in colour according to their nationalities. Black and white
+for Germany; black and yellow for Austria; the tricolour for France;
+scarlet for Spain; blue and white for Portugal; and black and yellow
+for Belgium.
+
+The word cockade, according to a well-known authority, was borrowed from
+the French _cocarde_, having originally been applied to the plumes of
+cock's feathers worn by Croatian soldiers serving in the French army.
+Some such plume, or in its place a bunch of ribbons, came to be used in
+pinning up the flaps of the hat into a cocked position, and thus
+gradually the word passed for the name of the "cocked" hat itself.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXV
+
+COUNTRY-HOUSE VISITS
+
+
+September is actually the commencement of the country visiting season,
+the few visits that are paid in August are but a prelude to the
+programme that is to follow during the succeeding five months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The visitors received in August= are principally relatives. The
+exceptions to the August family parties are the August cricket parties
+in the counties where cricket is made a great feature during that month,
+where the cricket weeks and consequent large country-house parties are
+of annual recurrence, and where balls and private theatricals form part
+of the week's amusement. It often follows that people visit at the same
+houses year after year, they arrange their tour of visits with regard to
+those invitations which they annually receive; new acquaintances and new
+houses whereat to visit are added to the list from time to time and take
+the place of those which, as a matter of course, drop out of it.
+Sometimes the invitations fit into each other admirably, like the pieces
+of a puzzle; at others there is an awkward interval of a day, or two or
+three days, to be filled up between leaving one house and arriving at
+another. If the hostess is, in either case, a relation or an intimate
+friend, this difficulty is easily surmounted by staying on at one house
+until the day fixed for arrival at another, or _vice versa_; but if a
+guest is on ceremony with her hostess, or if, as is often the case, new
+arrivals are expected for the following week, the alternative is to
+spend a few days in town, as although the house where the next visit to
+be paid might be within twenty or thirty miles of the house the visitor
+is about to leave, it would be unusual to spend the interval at an hotel
+in the adjacent town, as to do so might reflect upon the hospitality of
+the hostess. On the other hand, invitations are sometimes given
+independently of dates, but this friendly style of invitation is not
+given when a large party is invited, and it is understood to mean that
+the hostess may be quite alone, or may have guests staying with her, as
+the case may be. This form of invitation is frequently given to people
+visiting in Scotland, on account of the great distance from town.
+
+It is a very general custom to give shooting parties the third week in
+September, harvest permitting. If the harvest is late on account of
+unfavourable weather the shooting parties are postponed until the first
+week in the ensuing month. The guests, or at least the crack guns, are
+usually invited for partridge driving, which is what partridge shooting
+now actually amounts to.
+
+There are large shooting parties and small shooting parties, shooting
+parties to which royalty is invited and shooting parties restricted to
+intimate friends or relations, but in either case the period is the
+same, three days' shooting.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=If a party is limited to five guns=, seven ladies is the average number
+invited, the hostess relying upon a neighbour or a neighbour's son to
+equalise the balance at the dinner-table. The success of house-parties
+mainly depends upon people knowing each other, or fraternising when they
+are introduced or have made each other's acquaintance. The ladies of a
+country-house party are expected, as a rule, to amuse themselves, more
+or less, during the day. After luncheon there is usually a drive to a
+neighbouring town, a little shopping to be done there, or a call to be
+paid in the neighbourhood by some of the party, notably the married
+ladies, the young ladies being left to their own resources.
+
+At the close of a visit game is offered to those of the shooters to whom
+it is known that it will be acceptable.
+
+The head gamekeeper is usually instructed to put up a couple of brace of
+pheasants and a hare. But in some houses even this custom is not
+followed, and the whole of the game killed, with the exception of what
+is required for the house, finds its way into the market, both the local
+market and the London market.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Shooting parties as a rule give a hostess little anxiety on the score of
+finding amusement for the ladies of the party, as so many aids out of
+doors are at her command at this season of the year. This is a great
+advantage, as although some few ladies possessing great strength of
+nerve have taken up shooting as an amusement and pastime and acquit
+themselves surprisingly well in this manly sport, yet ladies in general
+are not inclined for so dangerous a game, and even those intrepid ladies
+who have learnt how to use their little gun would never be permitted to
+make one or two of a big shooting party, even were they so inclined.
+
+The hostess and the ladies of the party invariably join the shooters at
+luncheon, and some of the ladies go out with the shooters in the morning
+to watch their prowess in the field; but this entails a great deal of
+walking where partridge shooting is concerned, which is quite another
+thing to covert shooting in November and December.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A good hostess has great opportunities= for distinguishing herself when
+entertaining a country-house party, from the arrival of the first
+motor-car to the departure of the last. Her consideration and tact are
+so successfully exerted that somehow her guests always find themselves
+doing exactly what they like best and in company with those who are
+most congenial to them, to say nothing of the comfort of the general
+domestic arrangements, which seem to have been arranged exclusively for
+their convenience. If they wish to drive, there is a carriage or
+motor-car at their disposal; if they prefer a constitutional, there is
+some one very agreeable desirous of walking with them. The daily papers
+are always to be found, the post-bag goes out at a most convenient hour
+by the hand of a special messenger, the dinner is of the best, and the
+evening is of the cheeriest. Bridge as a rule is played in most houses,
+and several tables are arranged in the drawing-room to accommodate the
+would-be players.
+
+Occasionally, when the birds are wild and sport is slack, a sort of
+picnic luncheon is held in the vicinity of a keeper's lodge, under the
+shade of some wide-spreading trees, when the ladies join the party; but
+in September keen sportsmen rather despise this playing at shooting, and
+resent the interruption caused by the company of ladies at luncheon, and
+prefer to take it in the rough and smoke the while. Every day of the
+week is not thus given up to shooting, and there are few owners of
+manors who would care to provide five days' consecutive sport for their
+guests, and two days' hard shooting is probably followed by what is
+called an idle day. On these off days in September the hostess often
+gives a garden-party, or takes her guests to one given by a neighbour at
+some few miles distant; or she holds a stall at a bazaar and persuades
+her guests to assist her in disposing of her stock; or she induces her
+party to accompany her to some flower-show in which she takes a local
+interest; or the host and one or two of the best shots start early after
+breakfast to shoot with a neighbour, and the remainder of the guests
+drive over to a picturesque ruin, where they picnic, and return home in
+time for the eight-o'clock dinner. If the owner of a mansion has a coach
+the whole party is conveyed on it, otherwise the motor-cars are brought
+into requisition, while saddle horses are provided for those who care
+to ride. A country-house party occasionally resolves itself into two or
+more cliques, as far as the ladies are concerned; gentlemen, as a rule,
+are not much given to this sort of thing. On the first evening, as soon
+as the ladies have left the dining-room for the drawing-room, these
+little cliques are tacitly formed, and continue unbroken until the close
+of the visit. There are many reasons which call these cliques into
+existence--old intimacies revived, new acquaintanceships to be
+strengthened, unwelcome acquaintanceships to be avoided, and so on.
+These cliques are by no means agreeable to the hostess, indeed, quite
+the contrary--but she is powerless to prevent their being formed, and
+she is herself sometimes drawn into one or other of them, and sometimes
+altogether excluded from them. Any one who is at all conversant with
+country-house visiting is aware how thoroughly the influence of the
+clique pervades the atmosphere of the drawing-room; and yet, perhaps, at
+country-house parties more friendships are formed and intimacies
+cemented than at any other gatherings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The evening amusements= at country-house parties vary very much
+according to the proclivities of the hostess or those of her daughters.
+At some houses dancing is the order of things for a couple of hours or
+so after dinner, but this mode of spending the evening does not always
+commend itself to the gentlemen, who, after a long day's walking through
+wet turnips and over heavy ploughed land, or a hard day's riding over
+stiff fences, rather incline towards the _dolce far niente_ of a
+luxurious armchair than to the pleasures of the mazy valse, and are
+proportionately grateful to a hostess who does not call upon them to
+undergo any further exercise than what they have already gone through
+for their own pleasure.
+
+In most country-house parties bridge forms the chief if not the only
+amusement, and is played not only after dinner but in the afternoon
+also. Amateur theatricals and _tableaux vivants_, impromptu charades,
+thought reading, conjuring, etc., are fashionable amusements and easy of
+accomplishment: the first-named of these demands considerable study and
+plenty of time for rehearsal, therefore theatricals are generally
+engaged in when the party is composed of relatives rather than of
+acquaintances, and when the visit would be perhaps prolonged to ten days
+or a fortnight.
+
+Some hostesses prefer keeping late hours to early hours, and do not
+retire until after twelve; this does not commend itself to the
+gentlemen, as they are not supposed to adjourn to the smoking-room until
+the ladies have left the drawing-room, and gentlemen like to spend a
+couple of hours in the smoking-room after dinner.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In hunting counties= the breakfast is usually an early one, varying
+from nine o'clock to half-past nine, according to whether the ride to
+covert is likely to be a long or a short one; but, as a rule, the
+nominal breakfast hour is 9.30 o'clock. A certain amount of latitude is
+allowed to guests as regards coming down to breakfast; they do not
+assemble in the morning-room, but all make their way to the
+breakfast-room, and seat themselves at once at table, while many ladies
+breakfast in their own rooms.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In Scotland, an invitation to shoot= often means a visit of three
+weeks. The accommodation of the shooting-box or lodge may be limited or
+primitive, and it is very often both of these; but it matters very
+little to the sportsman what sort of bed he sleeps on, or how he is made
+to rough it, providing the grouse are plentiful. On some of the moors
+there are but cottages and farmhouses for the occupation of the
+sportsmen, but on others the houses are excellent, and let with the
+moors, as many take a moor season after season and invite their friends
+to shoot between the 12th of August and October. The grand shooting
+parties that are annually given in Scotland by owners of large estates
+and fine shootings extends throughout the whole of the shooting season,
+and guests come and go without intermission; as one leaves another
+arrives. Certain houses or castles are much gayer than others; to some
+very few ladies are asked, the majority of the guests being
+gentlemen--probably the hostess and two ladies and eight men--in others,
+the numbers are more equal; in others, again, the party sometimes
+consists entirely of men with a host and no hostess. Ladies generally
+ask their most intimate friends to Scotland rather than acquaintances,
+as they are left to themselves the whole of the day, dinner being often
+postponed until nine o'clock, on account of the late return of the
+sportsmen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=South of the Tweed, September invitations= are usually given for three
+or four days, from Tuesday till Saturday; married couples, young ladies,
+and young men, are all asked, and the ladies find amusement in
+lawn-tennis, or in attending or assisting at some neighbouring bazaar or
+fancy fair, as in this month county bazaars are very popular, and the
+visitors at one house lend their services in conjunction with the
+visitors at another, to hold stalls at a bazaar got up by a third
+influential lady; and thus the stalls are well stocked, and the
+fashionable stall-holders give an impetus to the whole affair.
+
+Ladies see very little of the gentlemen between breakfast and dinner.
+The shooters start about eleven, and seldom return much before seven.
+
+When it is dark at four, those who prefer ladies' society and tea to the
+smoking-room and billiards, make themselves presentable and join the
+ladies.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As regards the Etiquette of Visiting at Bachelors' Houses.=--It is
+thoroughly understood that ladies should be accompanied by their
+husbands, and young ladies by their father and mother, or by a married
+couple with whom they are on terms of great intimacy, in which case the
+married lady acts as chaperon to the young ladies. Young ladies cannot
+stay at the house of a bachelor unless chaperoned by a married lady, or
+by a female relative of their host. A widow and her daughter could of
+course join a party of ladies staying at a bachelor's house, or stay on
+a visit to him were he alone, or entertaining bachelor friends.
+
+When a bachelor gives a country-house party, and nominally does the
+honours himself, occasionally one of the married ladies of the party
+tacitly takes the lead.
+
+The position of a young widower is similar to that of a bachelor as
+regards society. Later in life, the contrary is the case; a widower with
+grown-up daughters gives entertainments for them, and the eldest
+daughter does the honours, thus reducing the position again to that of
+host and hostess.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVI
+
+HUNTING AND SHOOTING
+
+
+=Ladies in the Hunting-Field.=--There is no arena better fitted to
+display good riding on the part of women than the hunting-field, and no
+better opportunity for the practice of this delightful accomplishment
+and for its thorough enjoyment. It is urged, however, that it argues
+cruelty of disposition and unwomanly feeling to join in the pursuit of a
+poor, miserable, hunted fox, and worse still to be in at the death, and
+that women are liable to be carried away by the enthusiasm of the hour
+to applaud and to witness what they would otherwise shrink from. This
+argument has a certain weight, and deters many from actually hunting who
+would otherwise join in the sport, and they make a compromise by
+regularly attending the meets, and even witnessing a throw-off of a
+fox-break covert. Every strong point that a rider possesses is brought
+out in the field. The canter in the Row, the trot through the
+country-lanes, or the long country ride are very feeble substitutes for
+the intense enjoyment experienced when taking part in a good run; the
+excitement felt and shared in by the whole field exhilarates and
+stimulates, and renders fatigue a thing out of the question, not to be
+thought of until the homeward ride is well over.
+
+Considering the number of ladies who hunt, the accidents that occur are
+surprisingly few, for the obvious reason that ladies do not attempt to
+hunt unless their skill as good horsewomen is beyond all question. Their
+husbands, their fathers, their brothers would not allow them to
+jeopardise their lives, unless their riding and experience, their
+courage, their nerve, and their instruction justified the attempt.
+
+There are also two other weighty considerations necessary to success--a
+good mount, and a good lead. The father or husband invariably selects
+the one, and the friend--either of the fair rider or of the husband or
+brother--gives the all-important lead, without which few ladies venture
+upon hunting, save those few who are independent enough to cut out
+their own work.
+
+Ladies, who are naturally fond of riding, cannot always indulge in the
+pleasure of hunting, on the ground of expense, for instance. A lady may
+possess a fairly good horse for ordinary purposes, to ride in the Row,
+or for country exercise, but very few gentlemen of moderate means can
+afford to keep hunters for the ladies of their families as well as for
+themselves, although, in fiction, this is freely done. If a lady has one
+good hunter of her own, she may expect two days' hunting a week,
+providing the country is not too stiff, and the meets are fairly
+convenient. Occasionally, a mount may be obtained from a good-natured
+friend, whose stud is larger than his requirements; but this is not to
+be depended upon in every-day life, and popular ladies and first-rate
+riders are more in the way of receiving these attentions than the
+general run of ladies.
+
+As regards the presence of young ladies in the hunting-field, there are
+two opinions respecting its advisability, apart from the question of
+whether it is or is not a feminine pursuit. The long ride home in the
+November and December twilight, in the company of some member of the
+hunt, who has become the young lady's cavalier for the time being, is
+not to the taste of many parents; chaperonage must of necessity be
+greatly dispensed with in the hunting-field, and this is an objection
+which many fathers advance against their daughters hunting.
+
+Some husbands entertain equally strict views on this head, and are of
+opinion that the boldest rider and the best lead to follow in the
+field is not always the guest they would most desire to see at their
+own firesides.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Hunt-Breakfasts.=--A lady should not go to a hunt-breakfast at the
+house of a country gentleman if unacquainted with him, or some member of
+his family, unless asked to do so by a mutual acquaintance. All
+gentlemen riding to hounds, whether strangers to the host or not, have
+the privilege of entering any house where a hunt-breakfast is given and
+accepting the hospitality offered. The breakfast, which is in reality a
+cold collation, with the addition of wine, liqueurs, ale, etc., is
+usually laid out in the dining-room, and no ceremony whatever is
+observed; the gentlemen come and go as they please.
+
+The mistress of the house should either be present at a hunt-breakfast
+and receive the ladies who arrive in the hall or dining-room, or she
+should receive them in the drawing-room, where refreshments should be
+brought to them.
+
+When a hostess intends riding to hounds, she is often mounted before her
+neighbours arrive, in which case she invites them to enter the house for
+refreshments, if they care to do so.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Gentlemen who go down into a County= for a few days' hunting only
+seldom wear "pink," and prefer riding to hounds in black coats.
+
+The members of the hunt wear pink as a matter of course, but it is
+considered better taste for a stranger to wear a black coat than to
+appear in a _new_, _very new_, unspecked red one.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Sporting Terms.=--Persons unversed in matters appertaining to "country
+life" and "country sports," town bred, and who have had little or no
+opportunity of acquiring a knowledge of the subject from personal
+experience, can hardly fail to commit many and various mistakes when
+brought into contact with sportsmen and their sports.
+
+A knowledge of sporting matters and sporting terms, and the etiquette
+observed by sportsmen, is only arrived at by associating with those
+thoroughly conversant with the subject, and with whom "sport" has formed
+part of their education so to speak.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Shooting Season commences= on the 12th of August with grouse
+shooting in the north of England, Scotland, and Ireland. Partridge
+shooting commences on the 1st of September and terminates on the 1st of
+February.
+
+The finest partridge shooting is allowed by general consent to be found
+in the eastern counties.
+
+Partridge driving does not take place until January to any great extent.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Pheasant Shooting= commences the 1st of October and terminates the 1st
+of February.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Hares= may be shot up to the 1st of March.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Rabbits= may be shot all the year round.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Rooks= are shot during the spring and summer.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is difficult to make a would-be sportsmen comprehend the strict
+etiquette maintained between the owners of manors; that is to say, he
+would think nothing of crossing the boundary of his host's manor, "gun
+in hand," if he felt inclined to follow a bird or hare he had wounded,
+oblivious of the fact that, in the first place, the greatest
+punctiliousness is observed between gentlemen in the matter of
+trespassing on each other's land when out shooting; and, that unless the
+greatest intimacy existed, a sportsman would hardly venture to pick up
+his dead bird if it had fallen on a neighbour's manor, and would on no
+account look for a wounded bird, but for a dead one only. In the second
+place he would carefully observe the rule of leaving his gun on his own
+side of the boundary, and would certainly not carry it with him to his
+neighbour's land. Those are points that strangers invited for a few
+days' shooting very often fall foul of, creating thereby much
+unpleasantness for their host through their ignorance and inexperience.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a gentleman is invited to join= a shooting-party, it would not be
+necessary for him to take a loader with him, as his host would find a
+man to perform that office for him, unless he had a servant with him
+capable of performing that duty; but if he were residing in the
+neighbourhood he would, as a matter of course, take his loader with him
+when asked to join a shooting-party, and in both cases he would shoot
+with two guns; as to shoot with one gun only causes a vexatious delay.
+
+A frequent cause of offence to sportsmen is for a gentleman to be noisy
+when out shooting, that is to say, to be "loudly talkative," or
+"boisterously merry," or given to indulge in exclamations when a bird
+rises, or when a bird is missed; your true sportsman maintains a strict
+silence.
+
+There are numberless other points relating to field sports wherein the
+"inexperienced sportsman" is apt to give offence, but which would take
+up too much space to enter into in a work of this description.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Fees, or Tips to the Gamekeepers=, vary from 10s. to L5,
+according to the number of days' shooting enjoyed or the extent of the
+bag.
+
+For one day's partridge-shooting the tip to the head gamekeeper would be
+a sovereign; for a good day's pheasant-shooting, as much as two
+sovereigns would probably be given. A gentleman who does not tip or fee
+up to this mark is not likely to find himself too well placed in a
+battue.
+
+The cost of a game licence is L3, and lasts twelve months, from 1st
+August to the 31st of July the following year, or L2 from the 1st of
+August to the 31st of October, or L2 from the 1st of November to the
+31st of July in the following year, or L1 for fourteen days.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII
+
+SHAKING HANDS
+
+
+The etiquette with regard to shaking hands is not an open question, it
+is distinct enough and simple enough for all exigencies, but yet there
+is individual temperament to be taken into account which in many drives
+etiquette out of the field, if by etiquette is understood not merely
+stiff propriety of action, but politeness in the truest sense of the
+word, and doing that which is exactly the right thing to do. Etiquette
+rules when to shake hands and when not to do so, when to bow and when
+not to bow; but in spite of this knowledge, which is within every one's
+reach, there are many mistakes made on this head.
+
+For instance, one does not offer to shake hands when expected to do so;
+another offers to shake hands three times; one displays unwarrantable
+warmth in shaking hands; another extends two fingers only; one shakes
+hands in a limp and uncomfortable manner, and takes the extended hand
+merely to drop it; another literally pumps the extended hand, or crushes
+the rings into a lady's fingers when shaking hands with her.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A lady who does not shake hands= when expected to do so is actuated by
+one or other of the following reasons--she did not wish to shake hands
+with a certain acquaintance, and preferred to bow only, or she was not
+aware whether she should have shaken hands or not.
+
+The gentlemen who shake hands with great warmth and _empressement_ are
+two distinct individuals; the one is cordial and large-hearted, and has
+a friendly grasp for every one--a grasp indicative of kindliness,
+geniality, and good fellowship--the other wishes to ingratiate himself
+in certain quarters, and loses no opportunity of demonstratively
+shaking hands, but no one is deceived by this spurious imitation of
+the real thing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When a lady gives but two fingers= to people whom she does not care
+about, she is always a person who fancies herself, and who feels very
+fine; she doubtless is, but her good breeding and her good feeling are
+both in question when she takes this method of showing the superiority
+of herself and her position over that of other people.
+
+There are other eccentricities indulged in by different people who shake
+hands when they should not, and people who do not shake hands when they
+should.
+
+It depends upon whom a lady is introduced to, or upon who is introduced
+to her, whether she should or should not shake hands. She should not
+shake hands on being casually introduced to a person altogether a
+stranger to her; but yet there are so many occasions when it is both
+proper and correct to shake hands on being introduced, that the rule on
+this head is a very elastic one.
+
+For instance, a host and hostess should shake hands with every stranger
+introduced to them at their house.
+
+A lady should shake hands on being introduced to the relations of her
+intended husband.
+
+A lady should shake hands on being introduced to the friend of an
+intimate friend.
+
+When a lady has entered into conversation to any extent with some one to
+whom she has been introduced, and finds she has much in common with her,
+she should shake hands on taking leave; but if she has only exchanged a
+few commonplace sentences, a bow would be all that is necessary.
+
+A lady usually takes the initiative with regard to shaking hands as with
+bowing; but in reality it is a spontaneous movement, made by both lady
+and gentleman at the same moment, as the hand ought not to be extended
+or the bow given unless expected and instantaneously reciprocated.
+
+A young lady should not offer to shake hands with one not expectant of
+the honour.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Shaking hands on taking leave= is, with some few people, a graceful and
+pleasant fashion of saying good-bye; intimate friends hold the hand
+while the last words are being said. Women hold each other's hands thus
+on parting, and some few men take each other's hands; but with them it
+is rather a foreign fashion, and is principally followed by those who
+have lived much on the Continent; for, as a rule, an Englishman prefers
+the hearty English shake of the hand.
+
+A lady having once shaken hands with another, should continue to do so
+at subsequent meetings, unless a coolness of manner warns her that a bow
+would be more acceptable.
+
+With regard to shaking hands at a dinner-party with acquaintances: if
+the dinner-party is a small one, and there is time to shake hands, it is
+correct to do so; but when there is little time before dinner, and no
+good opportunity for shaking hands, bows to acquaintances at distant
+parts of the room, or when seated at the dinner-table, are sufficient
+recognition for the time being.
+
+At an evening-party it depends upon opportunity whether acquaintances
+shake hands or not.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The fashion of raising the arm= when shaking hands is followed by very
+few in the exaggerated style in which it was first introduced, but a
+modification of it has distinctly become the fashion in general society.
+
+The hand, instead of being extended straight out, is now offered on a
+line or parallel with the chest, a trifle higher than the old-fashioned
+style, and the fingers of the hand are held and gently shaken, but the
+palm is not grasped or even touched.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII
+
+CHAPERONS AND DEBUTANTES
+
+
+An unmarried lady, unless she be a maiden-lady of a recognised age and
+standing, cannot act as an orthodox chaperon; but, on the other hand,
+a young married lady could do so with the greatest propriety, as could
+a brother from the age of eighteen; of other relatives it is not
+necessary to speak.
+
+Young ladies are now frequently asked to dinner-parties without a
+chaperon, a hostess constituting herself chaperon for the occasion.
+Dances are also given to which it is understood chaperons are _not_
+invited, the hostess again acting in that capacity, but at large balls
+and dances chaperonage is considered indispensable for young ladies. At
+theatres and evening concerts chaperonage is distinctly required; but at
+morning concerts and _matinees_, companionship rather than chaperonage
+is needed.
+
+As regards morning hours. Young ladies may now walk together in the Park
+and elsewhere; ride together, attend classes together or alone, go to
+luncheon or afternoon tea alone or together at the houses of friends and
+acquaintances, quite unaccompanied by a chaperon. They may also visit at
+country houses without a chaperon, the hostess performing this duty.
+
+At all out-door gatherings, such as garden-parties, tennis-parties,
+cricket-matches, golf-meetings, etc., the chaperonage required is of the
+slightest, and for which any might be made available.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX
+
+PRESENTATIONS AT THE VICEREGAL COURT, DUBLIN CASTLE
+
+
+The Drawing-rooms at Dublin Castle are held by the Lord-Lieutenant of
+Ireland and his wife, in St. Patrick's Hall, at 10.15 o'clock p.m.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady who desires= a presentation at the Viceregal Court must be
+presented by a lady who has herself been presented thereat, and it is
+necessary that she herself should be present on the occasion, save
+under exceptional circumstances. A lady is not allowed to present
+more than _two_ ladies, except in special cases to be sanctioned by
+His Excellency.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady who proposes being presented= at a Viceregal Drawing-room must
+send to the Chamberlain's office by five o'clock, three days previous to
+the Drawing-room, a card with her name and address both in town and
+country, and the name and address of the lady by whom she is to be
+presented distinctly written thereon, and stating which Drawing-room she
+wishes to attend, to be submitted to the Lord-Lieutenant and his wife
+for their Excellencies' approval. Also two Presentation Cards must be
+obtained at the Chamberlain's office two days before the
+Drawing-room--if they have not previously been sent by post--and must be
+filled in with the necessary particulars, and taken to the Castle on the
+evening of the Drawing-room, one to be delivered to the official
+stationed in the Corridor, and the other to be handed to the
+Chamberlain, who will announce the name. It is requested that the names
+may be very distinctly written upon the cards, that there may be no
+difficulty in announcing them.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Lady attending= a Viceregal Drawing-room, who has been already
+presented at the Viceregal Court, must leave at the Chamberlain's
+office, three days previous to the Drawing-room, a card with her name
+and address, both in town and country, distinctly written thereon, and
+stating which Drawing-room she wishes to attend. She must bring with her
+two similar cards on the evening of the Drawing-room, one to be given to
+the official in the Corridor, and the other to the Chamberlain, who will
+announce the name.
+
+A lady on entering the Castle on the evening of a Drawing-room towards
+ten o'clock, finds the hall lined with soldiers, and repairs at once to
+the cloak-room to leave wraps, etc., and to have her train dexterously
+arranged over one arm by a female attendant. She then proceeds up the
+grand staircase, lined with servants in gorgeous liveries, and enters
+the Corridor, where one of the Presentation Cards is given up to the
+official in attendance, and she passes down the Corridor into the Long
+Drawing-room, where a barrier of wood, enclosing a space, is erected at
+the end. One of the gentlemen of the Household lifts this barrier at
+intervals to allow of a certain number passing through to the
+Throne-room, at the door of which her train is let down and arranged by
+men-servants. If she is to be "presented," the Chamberlain tells her to
+take off her right-hand glove, and, if royalty is present, informs her
+that she must make three bows, and says, "Three bows, please." She gives
+up her second Presentation Card to him, and he calls out her name, and
+it is passed along to His Excellency by the gentlemen of the household.
+The Lord-Lieutenant and his wife stand on a dais, he standing in front
+of the Throne, which is a grand chair of State, and on either side--in
+what are known as the "Pens"--are grouped the visitors staying at the
+Castle, those who have the private _entree_, and the members of the
+Household. The name of the lady who makes the presentation is also
+called out. The lady presented advances, the Lord-Lieutenant shakes
+hands with her, but does not now kiss her on the cheek; she then makes
+him a bow, and bows to his wife, who bows in return. She then retires
+back to the door leading into the Long Drawing-room, where her train is
+replaced over her arm. She then proceeds to St. Patrick's Hall, or to
+the Picture Gallery.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Ladies who attend= the Drawing-room only bow to the Lord-Lieutenant and
+his wife; he bows to them, but he does not shake hands with them or kiss
+them. In Ireland men invariably accompany their wives to the
+Drawing-room, having previously attended the Levee; they pass along
+the base of the semi-circle, and make their bows at the same time as
+do the ladies.
+
+When all have been received and have assembled in St. Patrick's Hall,
+a procession is formed, the Lord-Lieutenant walking first, followed
+by his wife, whose train is carried by pages. The visitors staying at
+the Castle follow next, and then the members of the Household, the
+band stationed in the gallery playing "God Save the King" the while.
+All those present form up in two lines to make a passage for the
+procession to pass through, and bow low to His Excellency and his wife
+as they pass.
+
+A supper is not given, only light refreshments of every description.
+These refreshments are arranged on long tables on one side of St.
+Patrick's Hall, and at the lower end, under the gallery, tables are
+placed for tea, coffee, wine, etc. On the opposite side of the hall
+red-cushioned seats are placed, and the company promenade in and around
+the Picture Gallery and St. Patrick's Hall during the remainder of
+the evening.
+
+Ladies wear full Court dress as at Buckingham Palace, and gentlemen
+uniform or Court dress.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Levees.=--Every nobleman or gentleman who proposes to attend a Levee,
+and who has not yet been received at the Viceregal Court, must be
+introduced by a nobleman or gentleman who has himself been previously
+presented thereat.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Gentleman who proposes= to be presented must send to the Gentleman
+Usher's office by five o'clock, two or three days before the Levee, a
+card with his name and address, both in town and country, and the name
+and address of the gentleman by whom he is to be presented distinctly
+written thereon, to be submitted for the Lord-Lieutenant's approval. He
+must also obtain two Presentation Cards from the Gentleman Usher's
+office, and must take them to the Castle on the day of the Levee, the
+one to be given to the official in the Corridor, and the other to be
+handed to the Gentleman Usher, who will announce the name to the
+Lord-Lieutenant.
+
+Any gentleman who proposes to attend a Levee, having been previously
+presented, must also take two cards with him to the Castle on the day of
+the Levee, with his name and address, both in town and country, clearly
+written thereon, to be given up as before mentioned. Again, a gentleman
+who, having previously attended the Levee, proposes attending the
+Drawing-room, is requested to bring with him _one_ card, with his name
+distinctly written upon it, to be left in the Corridor. All those
+entitled to the private _entree_ at Dublin Castle, and availing
+themselves of the privilege, are permitted to be accompanied only by
+their wives and unmarried daughters.
+
+Gentlemen wear Court dress or naval and military uniforms, or the
+uniforms of Lords-Lieutenants of Counties, or of the Royal Irish
+Constabulary, etc. The Academical habit cannot be worn except when
+presenting an address from a university. Foreign orders and decorations
+cannot be worn at the Court of Dublin by British subjects without
+special authority under His Majesty's royal licence.
+
+The right-hand glove should be removed before Presentation.
+
+Gentlemen who, having previously attended the Levee, are desirous of
+accompanying the ladies of their families to the Drawing-room, are
+requested to apply to the Chamberlain's office for an Attendance Card,
+which should be brought to the Castle on the evening of the Drawing-room
+and given up in the Corridor.
+
+Presentations in London do not count as Presentations at the
+Viceregal Court.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XL
+
+HOSTESSES
+
+
+=The Art of receiving Guests= is a very subtle one, difficult to
+acquire; but when acquired and thoroughly mastered it confers upon
+a mistress of a house an enviable reputation--that of being a
+perfect hostess.
+
+With some this is in-bred, and grace and composure and all the attendant
+attributes which are to be found in this type of hostess sit naturally
+upon them; but the individuals so gifted represent the few rather than
+the many. A far greater section of society has to rely upon experience
+to teach them this useful accomplishment, while with others time alone
+can aid them in overcoming natural reserve, and want of confidence in
+themselves, which stand in the way of their assuming this character with
+anything like success. Those ladies who are innately thoughtless and
+careless in this respect, neither time nor experience can mould, and
+what they are at the commencement of their career, they remain to the
+end of the chapter--very indifferent hostesses. There are varieties of
+hostesses, according to individual capabilities, and who are known
+amongst their friends by these appellations: first ranks the perfect or
+"charming hostess," either title suits her equally well; next to her
+comes the "good hostess," she is followed by the one who is "not a good
+hostess"; and the rear is brought up by the one who is decidedly "a bad
+hostess." Amongst the salient points which distinguish the perfect or
+charming hostess are perhaps, foremost, a certain facility of putting
+each individual guest at ease, conveying that the welcome she accords is
+a personal if not an especial one. Simultaneously with these agreeable
+impressions is conveyed a sense of the hostess's genial qualities; her
+charm of manner, her graciousness and her courteous bearing evincing so
+plainly that she is entirely mistress of the situation: these qualities
+insensibly react upon the guests, and evoke a corresponding desire to
+please on their part.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The perfect hostess= possesses yet another advantage, viz. a readiness
+of speech, a faculty of saying the right thing at the right moment and
+to the right person, and of identifying herself, so to speak, with the
+susceptibilities of each of her guests.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The good hostess= is essentially what is known as a considerate
+hostess; she makes up for the brighter qualities in which she is lacking
+by her extreme consideration for her guests. In the charming hostess
+this consideration is eclipsed by her more brilliant powers of pleasing,
+it permeates all she does, while in the good hostess it is her strongest
+point, and upon which is founded her claim to the name. The lady who
+bears the undesirable reputation of being "not a good hostess" is not
+"good" in a variety of ways; she means well and does her utmost to
+succeed, but by some contrariety of the laws which regulate domestic and
+social affairs, the results of her efforts are always the reverse of
+what she would have them be. The lady who is not a good hostess
+sometimes suffers from shyness and reserve which renders her stiff in
+manner when she would most desire to be cordial, silent when she would
+be most loquacious, and awkward when she would be at ease.
+
+As there are many reasons why ladies prove to be good hostesses, so
+there are many reasons why they prove bad hostesses, selfishness and
+want of consideration for others contribute to these, as do
+procrastination and a vague idea of the value of time. Ladies with such
+faults and weaknesses as these produce very much the same impression
+upon their guests, although, perhaps, one is a little less culpable than
+is the other.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The selfish hostess is a bad hostess=, because, providing she is
+amused, she is utterly indifferent as to whether her guests are amused
+or not, her own pleasure and gratification being of paramount
+importance. Instead of being in readiness to receive her guests she
+descends late to the drawing-room to welcome them, and is indifferent as
+to whether there is any one to greet them or not.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The procrastinating hostess=, although she is equally in fault, yet, as
+she hastens to excuse herself, when lacking in politeness to, or
+consideration for her guests, her excuses are sometimes admitted; but
+the selfish hostess, if she deigns to excuse herself, does so with such
+a palpable show of indifference as to her guests' opinion of her
+actions, that the excuse is oftener than not an aggravation of the
+offence. A lady who has no regard for time goes to her room to dress at
+the moment when she should be descending to the drawing-room; or she
+remains out driving when she should be returning; or she puts off making
+some very important arrangement for the comfort or amusement of her
+guests until it is too late for anything but a makeshift to be thought
+of, if it has not to be dispensed with altogether. Everything that she
+does or projects is on the same scale of procrastination; her
+invitations, her orders and engagements, are one and all effected
+against time, and neither herself nor her guests gain the value or
+satisfaction of the hospitality put forth. The bad hostess walks into
+her drawing-room when many of her guests are assembled, either for a
+dinner-party or afternoon tea, and shakes hands in an awkward, abashed
+manner, almost as if she were an unexpected guest instead of the
+mistress of the house.
+
+The host is not at his ease; he is provoked at having to make excuses
+for his wife, and the guests are equally constrained.
+
+If the host is of a sarcastic turn of mind, he never refrains from
+saying something the reverse of amiable to the hostess on her entrance.
+"My dear," he will perhaps remark, "you are doubtless not aware that we
+have friends dining with us this evening." This remark renders the
+guests even more uncomfortable and the hostess less self-possessed, and
+this is often the prelude to an inharmonious evening, with a host whose
+brow is clouded and a hostess whose manner is abashed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The mode of receiving guests= is determined by the nature of the
+entertainment. A welcome accorded to some two or three hundred
+guests cannot be as personal a one as that offered to some ten to
+thirty guests.
+
+Whatever disappointment a hostess may feel she should not allow it to
+appear on the surface, and should not be _distrait_ in manner when
+shaking hands with her guests. At large or small gatherings
+disappointments follow in the course of events, and very few hostesses
+can say that they have not experienced this in a larger or smaller
+degree at each and all of their entertainments.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At a ball or evening-party= a hostess should receive her guests at the
+head of the staircase, and should remain there until the majority, if
+not all, of the guests have arrived.
+
+As the names of the guests are announced the hostess should shake hands
+with each, addressing some courteous observation the while, not with a
+view of inducing them to linger on the staircase, but rather of inviting
+them to enter the ball-room to make way for other guests.
+
+At a ball given at a country house the hostess should stand at the door
+of the ball-room and receive her guests. When the guests have duly
+arrived, a hostess at a country-house ball or country-house theatricals
+should exert herself to see that all her guests are amused. If she sees
+that the young ladies are not dancing she should endeavour to find them
+partners. In town she is not required to do this. If the chaperons have
+apparently no one to talk to she should introduce one of her own
+relatives, if she cannot give much of her own attention to them, and she
+should arrange that all her guests are taken in to supper.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At large afternoon "at homes"= the hostess receives her guests at the
+open door of the drawing-room, and has little more time to bestow upon
+each than at a ball or an "at home." At small afternoon "at homes" she
+should receive them in the drawing-room, and should rise and shake hands
+with each arrival.
+
+A hostess should receive her dinner guests in the drawing-room, and
+should shake hands with each in the order of arrival. She occasionally
+finds it a trying ordeal to sustain conversation between the arrival of
+dinner guests and the dinner being served; sometimes this is prolonged
+for three-quarters of an hour through the non-appearance of a guest who
+must be waited for. A hostess should, although she knows that her dinner
+is spoilt by being thus kept back, endeavour to make the time pass as
+pleasantly as possible, by rendering the conversation general and by
+making the guests acquainted with each other. The hostess who can tide
+over these awkward occurrences so that the postponement of dinner from
+half to three-quarters of an hour is hardly perceived, proves herself to
+be entitled to be considered a good hostess.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLI
+
+THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF LADY PATRONESSES OF PUBLIC BALLS
+
+
+=Ladies are frequently solicited= to allow their names to be placed on
+the lists of lady patronesses of charity balls. A ball committee is
+desirous of obtaining a list of influential names to lend _eclat_ and
+prestige to the ball, and a charity ball often numbers amongst its lady
+patronesses the names of many of the leading members of the nobility,
+followed by those of the wives of the leading county gentry, or by the
+principal residents of a watering-place or county town; but it is
+understood, as a rule, that the duty of giving vouchers or tickets for a
+charity ball is undertaken by those ladies who are more directly
+interested in it, whose husbands are on the committee, who make a point
+of annually attending it, and thus are principally concerned in keeping
+it select; and although in many counties and in many towns lady
+patronesses, members of the nobility, do attend, yet it not unfrequently
+happens that out of a long list of great ladies only three or four are
+present at a ball.
+
+The members of the leading nobility and gentry of a neighbourhood
+invariably lend their names to local charity balls, and head the list of
+patrons and patronesses, but beyond lending their names, and in some
+cases sending a subscription of money towards the funds of the charity,
+or a present of game towards the supper, they have very little to do
+with the ball itself, which is practically in the hands of the local
+stewards. The exceptions to this rule are the charity balls held in town
+during the season, such as the Royal Caledonian Ball, the Yorkshire, the
+Wiltshire, and the Somersetshire Societies' Balls. On these occasions
+many of the great ladies give vouchers and attend the balls.
+
+When ladies consent to become lady patronesses of a ball, they usually
+notify to the committee whether they will or will not undertake the duty
+of giving vouchers or tickets, as the case may be. Some ball committees
+arrange that vouchers are to be given by lady patronesses, to be
+subsequently exchanged for tickets, signed and filled in with the name
+of the person to whom the ticket is given. The lady patronesses in this
+case receive the money charged for the tickets, and forward it to the
+committee after the ball, with any tickets that they may not have
+disposed of.
+
+The ladies who exert themselves to sell tickets are generally those who
+possess a large acquaintance, whose husbands are members of clubs;
+therefore, if any person ought to be tabooed for some good social
+reason, the lady patronesses reap the benefit of their husbands'
+knowledge, and are thus able to give a polite refusal when tickets are
+applied for for persons who are not altogether desirable.
+
+It is no doubt a difficult and delicate task for the lady patronesses of
+a large ball to keep it thoroughly select, and if not very particular
+respecting those for whom tickets are granted, a ball, though a full
+one, is likely to prove a very mixed affair, if not somewhat
+objectionable, by reason of the presence of persons to whom tickets
+should never have been granted, on moral if not on social grounds; and
+though the funds of a charity may gain considerably by the increase of
+numbers, through a general willingness on the part of the committee or
+the lady patronesses to grant tickets to every one who may apply for
+them, yet such policy is very short-sighted, and is seldom practised
+by those who possess any practical knowledge in the matter, as it is
+fatal to the reputation of a ball if persons who are objectionable are
+present at it.
+
+In the case of a ticket being applied for for a person of doubtful
+antecedents, a lady patroness's best course is to refer the applicant to
+the ball committee for tickets or vouchers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Persons not well received in society=, or who have ostracised
+themselves, have a predilection for public balls, and make every effort
+to obtain tickets of admission; and in some cases, when a refusal has
+been pronounced by the committee of a ball, the committee has been
+threatened with legal proceedings.
+
+Unmarried ladies seldom or ever act as lady patronesses, it not
+being considered advisable to place the discretion of granting
+tickets in their hands, lest their ignorance of the world should be
+taken advantage of.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The lady patronesses of a charity ball= who undertake to give vouchers
+or to sell tickets, usually exert themselves to the utmost in inducing
+as many of their friends as possible to attend the ball.
+
+It depends upon the committee of a charity ball whether tickets are
+presented or not to the lady patronesses and stewards; but if the funds
+of the charity are not at a very low ebb, this is generally done in
+recognition of their services.
+
+The responsibilities of lady patronesses of private subscription balls
+are light in comparison with those of public charity balls, as persons
+who attend subscription balls are usually on the visiting lists of
+one or other of the lady patronesses, while with regard to county
+balls, lady patronesses are not usually concerned in the disposal of
+the tickets.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLII
+
+PERIODS OF MOURNING
+
+
+=The Various Periods of Mourning= for relatives have within the last few
+years been materially shortened, and the change generally accepted; but
+as some still prefer to adhere to the longest periods prescribed by
+custom, in the present chapter both periods are given, and it entirely
+depends upon individual feeling and circumstances which of the two
+periods is observed.
+
+The time-honoured custom of wearing crape has greatly declined, and with
+the exception of widows, many do not wear it at all, while others wear
+it as a trimming only.
+
+A slighter change has also taken place in favour of half-mourning
+colours, which are now more worn than black and white during the
+half-mourning period.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Court Mourning= when enjoined is imperative, the orders respecting
+which are minutely given from the Lord Chamberlain's office and
+published in the official _Gazette_; but these orders only apply to
+persons connected with the Court, or to persons attending Courts,
+Levees, State Balls, State Concerts, etc.
+
+When the order for general mourning is given on the death of any member
+of the Royal Family, the order applies to all, although it is optional
+whether the general public comply with it or not.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Longest Period for a Widow's Mourning= is two years. The shorter
+period is eighteen months. Formerly crape was worn for one year and
+nine months; for the first twelve months the dress was entirely covered
+with crape. The newer fashion in widows' mourning is to wear crape as a
+trimming only, and to discontinue its wear after six or eight months,
+while some few widows do not wear it at all during their mourning, it
+being optional wear.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Half-Mourning= in the longer period commences after a year and nine
+months, and is worn for three months. In the shorter period
+half-mourning may commence after fifteen months, and be continued for
+three months.
+
+The period for wearing the widow's cap and veil is a year and a day. The
+veil may be _crepe lisse_ or _chiffon_ in place of crape. It is now the
+fashion for young widows to wear the cap as a head-dress only, while
+others do not wear it at all.
+
+Lawn cuffs and collars are worn during the first year, or for six months
+only, or not at all. After the first year white neckbands and white
+strings to the bonnet may be worn. Also hats in place of bonnets.
+Further touches of white may follow during the next three months.
+
+After a year gold ornaments may be worn; diamonds earlier.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Widowers= should wear mourning for one year; they usually enter society
+after three months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Parent= the period of mourning is twelve months; ten months
+black, two months half-mourning, or eight months black and four months
+half-mourning. The black may be relieved with touches of white after
+three months. Crape is optional; many prefer not to wear it at all,
+others as a trimming.
+
+Diamonds--earrings, brooches, etc.--before gold, at the end of
+three months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Son or Daughter= the period of mourning is identical with
+the foregoing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For very Young Children or Infants= the mourning is frequently
+shortened by half this period, or even to three months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Stepmother.=--The period of mourning depends upon whether the
+stepdaughters reside at home or not, or whether their father has been
+long married, or whether their father's second wife has filled the place
+of mother to them, in which case the period of mourning would be for
+twelve months, otherwise the period is six months--four months black
+relieved with touches of white after two months, followed by two months
+half-mourning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Brother or Sister= the longest period of mourning is six months,
+the shortest period four months.
+
+During the longest period, viz. six months, black should be worn for
+five months, with a little white after two months, half-mourning for one
+month. After one month diamonds, pins, and brooches, etc.; gold after
+two months.
+
+During the shortest period, viz. four months, black should be worn for
+two months, half-mourning two months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Sister-in-law or a Brother-in-law= the period of mourning was
+formerly the same as for a brother or sister, but the four months'
+period is now the one usually chosen.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Grandparent= the longest period of mourning is six months, the
+shortest four months.
+
+During the longest period black should be worn for three months,
+relieved with white after six weeks, half-mourning for three months;
+diamonds after one month, gold after six weeks or two months.
+
+During the shortest period black should be worn for two months,
+half-mourning for two months.
+
+The custom of wearing crape may now be said to have gone out of fashion
+as regards etiquette, black being considered adequate mourning, save in
+the case of widows.
+
+The former crape periods were six months for parents and children, three
+months for brothers and sisters, three months for grandparents.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For an Uncle or Aunt= the longest period of mourning is three months,
+the shortest period six weeks.
+
+During the longest period black (no crape) should be worn for two
+months, half-mourning one month.
+
+During the shortest period black for three weeks, half-mourning for
+three weeks; diamonds after three weeks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Nephew or Niece= the periods of mourning are identical with
+the foregoing.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For an Uncle or Aunt by Marriage= the period is six weeks black, or
+three weeks black and three weeks half-mourning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Great Uncle or Aunt= the longest period is two months, the
+shortest one month.
+
+During the longest period black for one month, half-mourning for
+one month.
+
+During the shortest period black for one month.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a First Cousin= the longest period is six weeks, the shortest
+one month.
+
+During the longest period black for three weeks, half-mourning for
+three weeks.
+
+During the shortest period black for one month.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Second Cousin= three weeks black. Mourning for a second cousin is
+not obligatory, but quite optional, and often not worn.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Husband's Relations= the periods of mourning chosen are
+invariably the shorter ones.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Daughter-in-law or Son-in-law= the periods are now shortened to
+six months; four months black and two months half-mourning, or three
+months black and three months half-mourning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Parents of a Son-in-law or Daughter-in-law= the period is one
+month, black.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For the Parents of a First Wife= a second wife should wear mourning for
+one month, black relieved with white.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Brother or Sister of a First Wife= a second wife should wear
+mourning for three weeks, but this is not obligatory, and depends upon
+the intimacy existing between the two families.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Much Latitude is allowed to Men= with regard to the foregoing periods
+of mourning.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Hat-band should be worn= during the whole of each period, but it is
+not imperative to wear suits of black longer than half the periods
+given, save in the case of widowers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Servants' Mourning.=--It is customary to give servants mourning on the
+death of the head of the house, which should be worn during the period
+the members of the family are in mourning. Mourning given to servants
+on the death of a son or daughter is quite an optional matter.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Seclusion from Society.=--The question as to how soon persons in
+mourning should or should not re-enter society is in some measure an
+open one, and is also influenced by the rules that govern the actual
+period of mourning adopted.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Widow is not expected to enter into Society= under three months, and
+during that time she should neither accept invitations nor issue them.
+Her visiting should be confined to her relations and intimate friends.
+After three months she should commence gradually to enter into society,
+but balls and dances should be avoided during the first year.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Daughter mourning for a Parent= the period of seclusion is six
+weeks as far as general society is concerned; but invitations to balls
+and dances should not be accepted until after six months.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Parent mourning for a Son or Daughter= the period of seclusion is
+the same as is that of a daughter for a parent.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For a Brother or Sister= the period of seclusion is three weeks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For Grandparents= the period of seclusion is from a fortnight to
+three weeks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For an Uncle or Aunt= the period is a fortnight to three weeks.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=For all Other Periods of Mourning= seclusion from society is not
+considered requisite.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When Persons in Mourning= intend entering again into society, they
+should leave cards on their friends and acquaintances as an intimation
+that they are equal to paying and receiving calls.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When Cards of Inquiry have been left=, viz. visiting cards with "To
+inquire after Mrs. A----" written on the top on right-hand corner of the
+cards, they should be returned by cards with "Thanks for kind inquiries"
+written upon them (see Chapter III.).
+
+Until this intimation has been given, society does not venture to
+intrude upon the seclusion of those in mourning.
+
+Relations and intimate friends are exempt from this received rule.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Funerals.=--When a death occurs in a family, as soon as the day and
+hour for the funeral are fixed, a member of the family should write to
+those relatives and friends it is desired should follow, and should ask
+them to attend, unless the date, time, and place of the funeral, and the
+train by which to travel to the cemetery, are mentioned in the
+newspaper, together with the announcement of the death.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is a Mistake to suppose that Friends= will offer to attend a
+funeral, even if they are aware of the date fixed, as they are naturally
+in doubt as to whether the mourners are to include the members of the
+family only, or whether friends are to be included also.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=In the Country, when a Doctor= has attended a family for some years,
+it is usual to invite him to attend the funeral of one of its members.
+In town this is seldom done, unless a medical man is the intimate friend
+of the family.
+
+In the country the clergyman of the parish reads the funeral service,
+but in town, when the funeral takes place at Kensal Green, Brookwood
+Cemetery, or elsewhere, a friend of the family is usually asked to
+officiate; in which case it is necessary to make an early application
+at the office of the cemetery for the use of the chapel at a
+particular hour.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=It is customary for Ladies to attend= the funeral of a relative if
+disposed to do so, in which case they wear their usual mourning attire,
+and follow in their own carriages.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Doctor's Certificate= as to the cause of death is of primary
+importance, and should be obtained at the earliest possible moment.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Memorial Cards should not be sent= on the death of a relative, being
+quite out of date as regards fashion and custom.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Wreaths and Crosses= of white flowers are very generally sent by
+relatives and friends to a house of mourning the day of the funeral,
+unless "No flowers, by request" follows the announcement of the death.
+
+When the funeral takes place before two o'clock, the friends should be
+invited to luncheon. When it takes place in the afternoon, they should
+be asked to return to the house for tea or light refreshment.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLIII
+
+ENGAGED
+
+
+It greatly depends upon the views held by parents as to the freedom of
+action accorded to a daughter during her engagement. Some entertain the
+strictest ideas on this head, and strenuously put them in force.
+
+By "strict ideas" is meant that an engaged couple, except in the
+presence of a chaperon, are never, under any circumstances, permitted to
+enjoy a _tete-a-tete_, sit together, walk together, ride together, or
+meet during any part of the day.
+
+Wisdom and common-sense dictate a middle course of action for the
+consideration of parents, neither granting too much nor withholding
+too much.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The length of an engagement= determines in most instances the degree of
+latitude allowed. If it is to last two months, or even less, it is usual
+to permit the engaged couple to be much in each other's society. The
+circumstances under which this is accomplished depend upon the position
+of the parents; if wealthy, and a country house is part of their
+possessions, the young lady's father should invite the gentleman engaged
+to his daughter on a visit, or one or two visits, during the engagement.
+
+Or the mother of the bridegroom-elect should invite her future
+daughter-in-law to stay with her for ten days or a fortnight.
+
+Etiquette prescribes that a young lady must be chaperoned by one of her
+near relatives at all public places of amusement.
+
+If an engaged couple move in the same set, they meet frequently at the
+houses of mutual friends; they are sent in to dinner together when
+dining out.
+
+To dance with each other at a ball, or dance more than three or four
+times in succession, and when not dancing to sit out in tea-rooms and
+conservatories, renders an engaged couple conspicuous, and this is
+precisely what many mothers are most anxious that their daughters should
+avoid being, and would rather that they were over-prudent than that they
+should run the gauntlet of general criticism.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The usual course for engaged couples= to take is to go as little into
+society as possible during their engagement, and to make the engagement
+as brief as circumstances will permit. If from various causes it must of
+necessity be a long one, the only alternative for an engaged couple is
+to render themselves as little conspicuous in general society as a
+mutual understanding will permit.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=When an engagement is first announced=, if the families are not
+previously acquainted, the father, mother, and relatives of the
+bridegroom-elect should call on the father and mother of the bride-elect
+at an early date, to make the acquaintance of the bride and her family,
+and they should write to the bride-elect expressing their approval of
+the engagement.
+
+The calls should be returned and the letters answered with the least
+possible delay.
+
+The engagement should be announced to relatives and intimate friends by
+the mother of the engaged young lady, and if the announcement is to
+appear in the papers it should be sent by her.
+
+The bride should ask the sisters and cousins of the bridegroom to act as
+bridesmaids in conjunction with her own sisters and cousins.
+
+When an engagement is broken off, all letters and presents should be
+returned on both sides.
+
+All wedding presents received by the bride-elect should be likewise
+returned to the donors.
+
+The mother of the bride should announce to all whom it may concern, the
+fact that the engagement is at an end.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLIV
+
+SILVER WEDDINGS
+
+
+The German custom of celebrating Silver Weddings has become thoroughly
+recognised in this country. It is an interesting custom to celebrate the
+first twenty-five years of married life under the poetic title of a
+Silver Wedding, but those who can do so must be for many reasons the
+few, rather than the many; Royal personages, and distinguished and
+prominent ones for instance, and again, those in humbler walks of life
+"far from the madding crowd," are also inclined to do so; but the
+"crowd" that divides them, formed of different classes and different
+sets in society, will hardly avail itself of the opportunity of
+celebrating this period of married life. Husbands as a rule dislike the
+fuss and parade and prominency it entails, and wives are disinclined to
+announce to their friends and acquaintances that they have been married
+five and twenty years, and are consequently not so young as they were.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The entertainments given to celebrate a Silver Wedding= are: An
+afternoon reception and a dinner-party. A dinner-party followed by an
+evening-party. A dinner-party followed by a dance. Or a dinner-party
+only, of some twenty or thirty covers.
+
+The invitations are issued on "at home" cards some three weeks
+beforehand, the cards being printed in silver, and the words "Mr. and
+Mrs. White at home, To celebrate their Silver Wedding" printed on them,
+with day and date, etc. The dinner cards should also be printed in
+silver, with the words "Mr. and Mrs. White request the pleasure of
+Mr. and Mrs. Black's company at dinner to celebrate their Silver
+Wedding," etc.
+
+For a dance the invitations should be worded "Mr. and Mrs. White at
+home, To celebrate their Silver Wedding." "Dancing" printed in the
+corner of the card.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Each person invited= is expected to send a present in silver, costly
+or trifling as the case may be, whether the invitation is accepted or
+not. These presents should be exhibited in the drawing-room on the day
+of the Silver Wedding with a card attached to each bearing the name of
+the giver.
+
+At the afternoon reception the husband and wife receive the
+congratulations of their friends as they arrive. They enter the tea-room
+together almost immediately afterwards followed by those guests who have
+arrived. Refreshments are served as at an afternoon wedding tea. (See
+page 143) A large wedding-cake is placed in the centre of the table,
+and the wife makes the first cut in it as a bride would do. The health
+of the husband and wife is then proposed by one of the guests, drunk in
+champagne, and responded to by the husband.
+
+At the dinner-party the husband and wife go in to dinner together,
+followed by their guests, who are sent in according to precedency.
+The health of the husband and wife is proposed at dessert and responded
+to. A wedding-cake occupies a prominent place on the table, and
+the dinner-table decorations consist of white flowers interspersed
+with silver.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=At the Silver Wedding dance=, the husband and wife dance the first
+dance together, and subsequently lead the way into the supper-room
+arm-in-arm, and later on their health is proposed by the principal guest
+present.
+
+The wife should wear white and silver, or grey and silver.
+
+In the country, when a Silver Wedding is celebrated, the festivities
+sometimes range over three days, but this only in the case of prominent
+and wealthy people; balls, dinners, and school-treats being given, in
+which the neighbours, tenants, villagers and servants take part.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Golden Weddings.=--The celebration of a Golden Wedding is rather an
+English custom, and one that from circumstances can be but seldom
+observed. It denotes that fifty years of married life have passed over
+the heads of husband and wife, and is a solemn rather than a festive
+epoch. Presents on this occasion are not so generally given, and
+children and grandchildren rather than acquaintances make up the circle
+of those who offer congratulations.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLV
+
+SUBSCRIPTION DANCES
+
+
+=Subscription= dances are now an established fact, but whether they will
+ever really become a rival to the dance proper remains to be seen; yet
+as they supply a want felt, and are recognised by society, the
+arrangements necessary for carrying them out should be duly noted.
+
+During the winter months they are a feature in certain sets:
+Subscription dances, private Subscription dances and public Subscription
+dances, the latter got up for charitable purposes.
+
+The moderate expenses incurred by giving private Subscription dances
+commend them to many, and there are other reasons to account for their
+popularity. They are without pretension to being considered smart or
+exclusive, and are essentially small and early dances. Fashionable
+ball-goers are not expected to attend them. They commence at 9 o'clock
+and terminate at 12, light refreshments in lieu of supper are provided,
+as at an afternoon "at home." (See p. 153.) A piano band is considered
+sufficient for the purpose, and floral decorations are scarcely ever
+attempted. The invitations are issued on "at home" cards, with the words
+"Subscription Dance" printed in one corner.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Subscription dances= are sometimes invitation dances and sometimes not.
+Tickets for these dances are charged for singly or by the series as the
+case may be. A certain number of ladies form a committee and agree to
+give a certain number of dances, and the expenses are either borne by
+the ladies themselves or covered by the sale of the tickets. If
+invitation dances, a certain number of invitations are allotted to each
+lady. When otherwise, the ladies dispose of the tickets among their
+friends. These dances are usually held in a mansion hired for the
+purpose, and there are several available in different parts of the West
+End, where spacious rooms can be hired on very moderate terms; in some
+instances a piano, seats, and other accessories are also included.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Public Subscription= dances are held in public rooms or Town Halls, and
+vouchers are given by ladies on the committee previous to tickets being
+granted.
+
+The same etiquette holds good at Subscription dances as at other public
+dances. The early hour at which these dances take place recommends them
+to some and altogether renders them impossible to others, notably to
+those who dine late, and who are not inclined to dance at nine o'clock
+or even at ten o'clock, and who rather resent the frugal style of
+refreshments offered, and consider that a champagne supper is an
+indispensable adjunct to a dance.
+
+It should be remembered that Subscription dances were first originated
+for the amusement of very young people, and it was never expected that
+they would compete with the fashionable small dances of the day; their
+popularity was a surprise, and if ball-goers are disposed to hold them
+in contempt there are others less fashionable and less wealthy who find
+them very much to their taste.
+
+The great difficulty, however, that ladies have to contend with is the
+fact that very few men can be induced to attend them, and that those who
+do accept invitations or purchase tickets are very young men, who have
+their way to make in the world, and are as yet on the lower rungs of
+the ladder, and as young ladies are very much in the majority at these
+Subscription dances, to dance with partners younger than themselves is
+an almost inevitable result for those who are no longer in their teens.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLVI
+
+GIVING PRESENTS
+
+
+As regards presents in general it should be understood that a present
+demands a note of thanks in all cases when the thanks cannot be verbally
+expressed. The notes to slight acquaintances should be written in the
+third person. To friends, in the first person. This applies equally to
+presents of game, poultry, fruit, or flowers. Some few people entertain
+the erroneous idea that presents of this nature do not require thanks.
+This is not only ungracious but raises a doubt in the mind of the giver
+as to whether the present sent has been duly received.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Wedding Presents.=--When an engagement has been duly announced to
+relatives and friends, and it is understood that it is to be a short
+one, wedding presents may be sent until the day before the wedding-day,
+and the earlier they are sent the more convenient it is for the bride,
+as she is expected to write a note of thanks to each giver. In each case
+a letter should be sent with the present expressing the congratulations
+and best wishes of the donor, and, if possible, a card with the name of
+the giver should be attached to it for identification when the presents
+are exhibited.
+
+The friends of the bridegroom, and unacquainted with the bride, should
+send their presents to him, and he should send them to the house of the
+bride's mother after having written notes of thanks to the givers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Christening Presents.=--With regard to christening presents the
+godfathers and godmothers are expected to make presents to their
+godchild; these should be sent the day before the christening, and
+should consist of a silver mug and silver fork and spoon from the
+godfathers, while a lace robe or handsome cloak are usual presents from
+the godmothers. A present of money from 5s. to L1 should be made to the
+nurse on the day of the christening when the godparents are relatives,
+but oftener than not the sponsors are represented by proxy.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Giving Tips to Servants.=--The tips expected from ladies at the
+conclusion of a visit of some days, are: To the head housemaid from 2s.
+6d. to 5s. according to the length of the visit. The same to the butler
+or single-handed man servant, and the same to the chauffeur. Young
+ladies give less when visiting by themselves.
+
+The tips expected from gentlemen are: To the butler or footman who
+valets them, to the chauffeur if he drives them to and from the station,
+to the groom if he takes charge of their hunters, also to the head
+housemaid. The tip to the butler or footman who acts as valet is for a
+long visit from 5s. to 10s., and for a short visit from 3s. to 5s. To
+the chauffeur 5s. in the first case, and from 2s. 6d. to 5s. in the
+second. To the housemaid, 2s. 6d. to 5s. For tips to gamekeeper, see p.
+223.
+
+The tips given to hotel servants vary according to the length of the
+visit. To the head waiter from 5s. to 10s. To the second waiter from 2s.
+6d. to 5s. To the hall porter, 2s. to 3s. To the luggage porter, 1s. to
+2s. To the head housemaid in attendance, 2s. 6d. to 4s.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLVII
+
+CHRISTENING PARTIES
+
+
+=Christening Parties= may be said to be strictly family gatherings, only
+the near relatives of the parents being invited on these occasions.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Invitations= are given in friendly notes, and are not issued on "at
+home" cards. The notice averages from a week to ten days according to
+circumstances, meaning the health and strength of the infant's mother.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=As a Rule Six Weeks= are allowed to elapse between the birth of the
+child and the date of the christening.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Relatives are either invited= to luncheon after the ceremony, or to
+a reception tea, or to a dinner-party to be given the same evening. If a
+luncheon is decided upon it generally takes place at 1.30, or earlier,
+immediately on the return from the church. The meal usually consists of
+hot viands--game or poultry--not substantial joints. Hot and cold
+sweets. Fruit to follow. A smart christening cake should occupy the
+centre of the table. Champagne, claret, and sherry are given, although
+the former is probably the only one of the three drunk on the occasion;
+this, when the health of the infant is proposed--the only health which
+finds acceptance at these gatherings.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Guests go in to Luncheon= quite informally, the ladies and hostess
+entering first, followed by the men guests and the host. They should be
+seated at table by the help of name cards, each lady being placed at the
+right hand of a gentleman. The clergyman who performs the ceremony, if a
+friend, should sit at the hostess's left hand, and should be asked to
+say grace; but in town he seldom joins these family gatherings unless
+well acquainted with his parishioners.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=A Reception Tea=, when given, is served in the dining-room; but in this
+case the guests are received on arrival by the hostess in the
+drawing-room, and when all have arrived, she accompanies them to the
+tea-room and remains there with them. The maid-servants should pour out
+and hand the tea and coffee across the tea-table, but the hostess should
+hand the cakes, etc., to her relatives, assisted by the host, if
+present. The refreshments consist of the usual variety in confectionery
+seen at all smart "at homes," a christening cake being the addition.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Christening Dinner-Parties= closely resemble all other family functions
+of this nature, with the exception that the infant's health is drunk at
+dessert, and that a christening cake is placed opposite the hostess when
+the table is cleared for dessert.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=The Christening Ceremony= takes place in the afternoon, usually at
+2.30. The relatives on arrival at the church seat themselves in pews or
+on chairs near to the font. The godmother holds the infant during the
+first part of the service, and then places it on the left arm of the
+officiating clergyman. One of the godfathers should name the child in
+response to the clergyman's question. If the child is a girl, two
+godmothers and one godfather are necessary. If a boy, two godfathers and
+one godmother are required. These godparents are usually the intimate
+friends of the child's mother. In certain instances the relatives are
+chosen for the office of godfather and godmother, but oftener not for
+family reasons.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Christening Presents= vary according to means and inclination, and
+often comprise gifts of jewellery when the infant is a girl, and money
+and silver plate if a boy; silver spoons, forks, mugs, bowls, etc. The
+selection is a wide one, and nothing comes amiss, from a robe with fine
+lace to a chain and pendant or a jewelled watch. These presents are
+usually sent the day previous to that of the christening.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+=Fees and Tips.=--Only minor fees are given to those assisting at the
+ceremony. The officiating priest receives some little gift in old silver
+or china, but not of money; if, however, the parents of the child are
+wealthy a cheque is sometimes given with a request that he will devote
+it to the needs of his parish.
+
+Tips to the nurse from the child's godparents vary from five shillings
+to a sovereign according to individual means.
+
+
+
+
+INDEX
+
+
+  AFTERNOON "at homes," 151
+
+  Afternoon dances, 157
+
+  Afternoon tea, 42
+
+  Afternoon weddings, 28
+
+  Amusements at children's parties, 192;
+    at country-house parties, 215;
+    at garden-parties, 169
+
+  "At home" days, 159;
+    "at homes," 151, 238
+
+
+  BACHELORS' Balls, 87
+
+  Balls, 87;
+    patronesses of, 239
+
+  Best man, duties of, 131
+
+  Bowing, 206
+
+  Breakfasts, 183
+
+  Bridal wreath, 141
+
+  Bride, 131, 133, 140
+
+  Bridegroom's relatives, 133
+
+  Bridegroom's responsibilities, 130, 141, 146, 149
+
+  Bridesmaids, 132;
+    presents to, 147
+
+  Bride's relatives, 132
+
+  Bridge parties, 125, 158;
+    refreshments at, 126;
+    teas, 158
+
+
+  CALLS, paying, 32;
+    after entertainments, 113
+
+  Canoe parties, 189
+
+  Cards, gentlemen's, 27;
+    ladies, 19;
+    memorial, 31;
+    "P.P.C.," 26
+
+  Cards, leaving, 19;
+    after entertainments, 24, 28;
+    on new-comers, 25;
+    returning, 23;
+    routine of leaving, 21, 28;
+    "to inquire," 26
+
+  Chaperons, 228
+
+  Charity Balls, 93
+
+  Christening luncheons and teas, 262;
+    parties, 261;
+    presents, 260, 263
+
+  Clergy, how to address, 59
+
+  Cockades, 209
+
+  Colonial etiquette, 161
+
+  County Balls, 93
+
+  Country dinner-parties, 114
+
+  Country-house visits, 211
+
+  Court, attending, 73;
+    presentation at, 73
+
+  Court dress for gentlemen, 85;
+    for ladies, 80
+
+  Cricket matches, 168
+
+
+  DANCES, invitation, 256;
+    public, 257
+
+  Debutantes, 228
+
+  _Diner a la Russe_, 106
+
+  Dining out, 100
+
+  Dinner guests, 101
+
+  Dinner invitations, 99
+
+  Dinner-table decorations, 107;
+    etiquette, 108, 116
+
+  Drawing-room, retiring to, 111
+
+  Drawing-rooms at Viceregal Court, Dublin, 229
+
+  Driving, 203
+
+
+  ENGAGEMENTS, 250;
+    etiquette of, 251;
+    presents, 147
+
+  _Entree_ at Court, 77
+
+  Etiquette, 1;
+    at balls, 91;
+    at dinner-table, 108, 116;
+    colonial, 161;
+    Indian, 164;
+    in regard to royalty, 61;
+    of visiting at bachelors' houses, 217;
+    when travelling abroad, 65
+
+  Evening parties, 122;
+    garden-parties, 174
+
+
+  FOREIGNERS of rank, how to address, 57
+
+  Funerals, 248
+
+  Funeral wreaths, 249
+
+
+  GAMEKEEPERS, tips to, 223
+
+  Game licence, 224
+
+  Garden-parties, 166;
+    in the evening, 174;
+    in town, 171
+
+  Giving presents, 259
+
+  Going in to luncheon, 180;
+    to supper, 123, 126
+
+  Golden weddings, 255
+
+  Gratuities to servants, 97, 113, 156, 223, 260, 263
+
+
+  HONEYMOON, 141
+
+  Hostesses, 234
+
+  Hunt Balls, 87, 95
+
+  Hunt breakfasts, 221
+
+  Hunting, 219
+
+
+  INDIAN etiquette, 164
+
+  Introductions, 6;
+    correct formula for, 8;
+    at afternoon calls, 17;
+    at country-house parties, 11;
+    at dinner-parties, 9;
+    at evening parties, 123;
+    at Public Balls, 12, 90
+
+  Invitations, 96, 122, 125, 152, 167, 177, 194
+
+
+  JUVENILE parties, 190
+
+
+  LADIES in the hunting-field, 219
+
+  Levee dress, 85
+
+  Levees, 82;
+    at Viceregal Court, Dublin, 232;
+    presentations at, 84;
+    who may attend, 83
+
+  Licences, marriage, 128
+
+  Luncheons, 176
+
+
+  MARRIAGE by banns, 128;
+    by licence, 128, 148;
+    fees, 129, 148
+
+  Memorial cards, 249
+
+  Menus, 106, 139
+
+  Military Balls, 87, 95
+
+  Mourning, 242;
+    Court, 242
+
+
+  "NOT at home," 41
+
+
+  OFFICERS, how to address, 59
+
+  Opening a ball, 90
+
+
+  PATRONESSES of Public Balls, 239
+
+  Pheasant shooting, 222
+
+  Picnics, 186
+
+  Plumes in Court dress, 81
+
+  Politeness, graces of, 4
+
+  Precedency amongst royalty, 44, 50;
+    at ball suppers, 91;
+    at dinner-parties, 49, 105;
+    of ambassadors and diplomats, 45;
+    of army and navy, 45;
+    of baronets and knights, 45, 51;
+    of bishops, 51;
+    of clergy, 45, 48;
+    of esquires, 48;
+    of ladies, 52;
+    of legal profession, 45, 48;
+    of peers, 50;
+    of widows, 46
+
+  Presentation at Court, 73;
+    at foreign Courts, 65;
+    at levees, 82;
+    at Viceregal Court, Dublin, 229
+
+  Presents, christening, 260;
+    giving, 259;
+    wedding, 130, 141, 259
+
+  Public Balls, 87
+
+
+  RECEIVING guests, 101, 123, 154, 234
+
+  Refreshments for "at homes," 153;
+    at bridge parties, 126;
+    at children's parties, 194
+
+  Refusing invitations, 200
+
+  Responsibilities of patronesses, 239
+
+  Riding, 204
+
+  Royal guests present, 90, 123
+
+  Royalty, how to address, 53
+
+
+  SAYING grace, 114
+
+  Sending in to dinner, 103
+
+  Shaking hands, 225
+
+  Shooting, 219
+
+  Signing the register, 134
+
+  Silver weddings, 253
+
+  State Balls, 97
+
+  State mourning, 97
+
+  Subscription dances, 256
+
+  Supper, going in to, 123
+
+  Surnames of peculiar pronunciation, 69
+
+
+  TEA for afternoon callers, 42
+
+  Titles, how to use in speaking, 53
+
+  Town garden-parties, 171
+
+  Trousseau, 141
+
+
+  UNDESIRED introductions, 6
+
+
+  WALKING, 202
+
+  Water parties, 188
+
+  Wedding cake, 137, 142;
+    cards, 142;
+    etiquette, 129;
+    expenses, 146;
+    favours, 134;
+    fees, 129, 148;
+    golden, 255;
+    invitations, 129;
+    luncheon, 137;
+    of widow, 134;
+    presents, 130, 141, 259;
+    receptions, 136, 143;
+    ring, 130;
+    service, 131;
+    silver, 253
+
+  Widow's wedding, 134
+
+  Writing invitations, 195
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+Transcriber's Notes:
+
+
+Passages in italics are indicated by _underscore_.
+
+Passages in bold style are indicated by =bold=.
+
+Currency symbols such as L, d., and s. are italicised in the original
+text, this format has been removed in the current text version for a
+smoother reading experience.
+
+C[=o]burn (page 70) and P[=y]tch'ley (page 71) have diacritical marks.
+They are marked as [=o] which represents a marcron (straight line) above
+the o and [=y] which represents a macron above the y.
+
+The following words have been retained in both versions:
+
+  table-cloth and tablecloth
+  out-door and outdoor
+  solemnized and solemnised
+
+The following misprints have been corrected:
+
+  changed "AT THE VICE-REGAL COURT," into "AT THE VICEREGAL COURT,"
+          page viii
+  changed "refusal, and the profered" into "refusal, and the proffered"
+          page 8
+  changed "by a manservant or" into "by a man-servant or" page 21
+  changed "to the manservant silently," into "to the man-servant
+          silently," page 22
+  changed "Villiers" into Villiers." page 72
+  changed "a tablespoon for soup," into "a table-spoon for soup,"
+          page 108
+  changed "a box of bonbons," into "a box of bon-bons," page 125
+  changed "chickens, game, mayonaises," into "chickens, game,
+          mayonnaises," page 139
+  changed "at dinner-table, 80, 116;" into "at dinner-table, 108,
+          116;" page 266
+  changed "Levees, 82," into "Levees, 82;" page 266
+
+Other than the corrections listed above, printer's inconsistencies
+in spelling, punctuation, hyphenation, and ligature usage have
+been retained.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Manners and Rules of Good Society, by Anonymous
+
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